《Master Dungeon》 1. Dying and Undying 1 Dying and undying Finally it was Friday night. I had been pulling twelve hour days all week and was thoroughly ready for a couple days off. I''d been replaying an old RPG with a couple new mods and it had completely consumed my free time this past month. The one good thing about working so much, aside from a little bit of money, was that video games lasted a long time when you could only play an hour or so each day. I refused to go after the final boss, instead exploring and leveling, so my character was far overpowered at this point and I could blitz through a dungeon in a single night no problem. ¡°Hey Rob, you coming for drinks?¡± Chris always tried to include me despite my introverted ways. We had met at work and while driving delivery trucks didn''t offer a lot of face time with coworkers we became fast friends. The radios and cell phones we all had were one of only a couple options for staying awake on the mind numbing drives, so we all kept in touch while we worked. We had been friends for years now and I did join them all for the more social after work events once in a while, but most days I begged off. ¡°Nah, I¡¯m still not right after last time, who¡¯s idea was it to pound a glass of straight Everclear again?¡± I answered, the memory still sent a shiver up my spine. Chris laughed, ¡°Yours, you were the only one who mentioned it, and the only one who did it. I¡¯m just impressed you managed to stay vertical for another ten minutes after that.¡± ¡°Well never again, I don''t know how something can be a liquid but instantly dry your mouth on contact, that shit is straight poison. Nope I¡¯m just gonna play some video games and maybe read a book or something.¡± ¡°Suit yourself, you''ll never find a girlfriend if you stay home all day" Chris shrugged We had made our way to the time clock and clocked out before walking to the parking lot. The mornings when we came in and evenings when we were about to leave were the only face time we had with each other on most days so we tended to chat the whole time, even though we spoke over radio for most of the day as well. ¡°Hah, I can¡¯t afford to fix my damn truck door how can I afford a girlfriend" As if to prove my point the door, which had been bent inward when some jackass sideswiped me years before, stuck, again. Chris shook his head, ¡°You still haven¡¯t got that thing fixed? How much can it cost?¡± I spoke in between grunts as I yanked on the handle, ¡°Well, they say they have to replace the whole¡­¡± I never finished my sentence. The door had opened and smacked me in the face, there was a sharp flash of pain that passed immediately, but it seemed to take all sound with it. Not only had Chris stopped talking but even the sounds from the road had stopped. I looked around and tried to speak but no sound came out and the color had all drained from the world leaving everything in greyscale. Chris stood motionless to the side, I would think it was some joke but he wasn''t blinking or even breathing. Everything had frozen. Suddenly I heard a rustling behind me and spun. Standing behind me was a man in a business suit flipping through papers on a clipboard. He looked just like a regular business man. Nothing seemed noteworthy about the man except that he was moving and was in color. Not much color I''ll grant you, his suit was black and white and his face was pale beyond what seemed healthy, the only true color was on his tie which featured a Hawaiian print. The man was mumbling to himself but in the silence it carried and I heard him clearly, ¡°No there shouldn''t be anyone in this area for another two days. Clearly that¡¯s not right, don¡¯t tell me they mixed up the paperwork again.¡± The speed which he flipped through the papers on his clipboard increased and increased until his hand was blur and the papers seemed ready to fly free. Suddenly his gaze snapped to me and his flipping stopped. ¡°Who are you?¡± he asked in a different voice, the tone now much deeper and seeming to carry the weight of the world behind it. A terrible dread filled me suddenly and I tried to run but my feet wouldn''t move. Then without my willing it and despite my previous inability to make a sound, I spoke. ¡°I am Robert Alugard" ¡°Robert Alugard¡­ alright wait a moment" Suddenly he held a massive book, the thing was larger than I was and shouldn¡¯t have fit in between the vehicles in the parking lot. The impossible dimensions of the book didn''t slow the man down, and the book was either nearly weightless or he was unreasonably strong as he easily held it in one hand while flipping through it with the other. ¡°A¡­ L¡­ U¡­ G¡­ no, no Robert¡± His gaze pierced me again, ¡°You didn''t lie did you? When were you born?¡± Again the answer came on its own, ¡°I didn''t lie, I was born January 1, 2000¡± This odd situation was making me panic but for some reason the feeling was becoming more and more muted by the second. Soon I was finding it hard to call up any emotions, even fear, and it only became more difficult as time went on. Then it was hard to remember what fear felt like. That thought should have been frightening in itself but¡­ nothing. ¡°AH shit" The man burst out slamming the book closed, ¡°one of those¡­ and" He looked around for a moment before throwing up his hands, somehow the massive book was launched into the air and vanished. ¡°Well this is a problem isn''t it? You¡¯ve broken something like a dozen rules already, how am I supposed to sort this out?¡± He shouted Whatever compulsion to answer that I was under seemed to be in effect still and so I did, ¡°I do not have sufficient information on the problem to decide upon a satisfactory solution¡± That seemed to startle the man and he looked at me a bit closer for a moment before chuckling and shrugging. ¡°Fuck it, let''s see what you can come up with. I''m the Grim Reaper. You died just now... smacked yourself right in the nose with the truck door there, drove cartilage into your brain and died instantly. Shit happens people die all the time. Now normally I would send you off to be judged and then your afterlife would be decided upon, except I can''t do that since it would break a couple rules. First, You shouldn''t exist, Y2k¡­ you know what that is? The day that clocks rolled over to the year 2000, the computers that held all the data on everyone alive reset. It wasn''t a big deal nothing crashed or anything but the reset took a full minute, anyone born for that minute wasn''t put on the records and therefore should not exist. That little hiccup is why we are back to using the Book of Everyone that you just saw. Unfortunately you not actually existing means I can''t send you to be judged, we don''t have records on you. Second, the isekai rule. This is a fairly new one and we should definitely remove it but¡­ rules are rules. Anyone who dies by being hit by a truck is sent to another world in another dimension. No exceptions. You my friend, just hit yourself with a truck door and died¡­¡± The Reaper shook his head before continuing, ¡°Yep, no exceptions¡­ Normally I would pretend to be a god or goddess and give you some special power that makes you far too powerful for the new world and send you off to cause some terrible chaos before sending another unwitting soul after you with the mission to stop the new evil overlord Robert. Can''t do that since you don''t exist. As a fun side note since you are also the truck driver who killed the innocent soul early, you lose any special power or benefit you would get upon your death. That includes the overpowered ability that I can''t give you anyway since YOU DON''T EXIST. So¡­ what is your solution Rob?¡± I mindlessly asked a few follow up questions, ¡°Can I be added to the list of people?¡± ¡°Nope, If your death was unjust I could have returned you to life in a new body with no memories, but you did it to yourself. You aren''t allowed to live again. Except you HAVE to be allowed to live again, I have to send you to another world after all.¡± Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°Can''t I just be judged like anyone else who died?¡± ¡°Nope, You don''t exist, so you can¡¯t die.¡± ¡°Then you have to send me to another world, I won''t get any special power, and I am not allowed to be dead or alive since I never existed¡­¡± The Reaper looked satisfied with my summary, ¡°Yep that¡¯s about the size of it, so what solution does the human mind come up with?¡± ¡°Undead" I said in a monotone, totally void of emotion ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Send me to another world, one which includes monsters, and make me an undead. I wont get any special power and I wont be alive or dead.¡± There was a long pause during which the Reaper blinked at me several times. Then he pulled his massive book from thin air again and flipped back and forth several times before bursting into laughter. ¡°Alright, Rob, I will send you to a world called Taream. The world is governed by the standard Isekai tropes of a system with stats, dungeons, monsters, magic, etcetera. You will be a level three zombie¡­¡± The Reaper seemed to be waiting for something that didn¡¯t come. ¡°A zombie¡­ you will be Rob the zombie¡­ ah hell, Gen Z doesn¡¯t know anything about music. Whatever, good luck Rob, enjoy your new life.. er¡­ unlife" He waved a hand and the world twisted away. When I came to I was lying in a forest. The emotions that had been fading to nothing had returned somewhat. They were still muted but I definitely felt several emotions all at once, fear at the unknown situation, anger at the nonsensical treatment by the Reaper person, despair at suddenly losing everything, and¡­ yes that was excitement, excitement at being in a new fantasy world. I pushed myself into a seated position, a groan of pain escaping my mouth. My emotions may be muted but I felt pain and soreness just fine. A quick look around revealed that I was indeed in a forest. Trees and brush and animal calls surrounded me in every direction. Nothing looked especially magical or fantastical as one would expect from a fantasy world. This could have been a forest in any temperate part of Earth. I remembered that I was supposed to have some sort of system with stats and I was even meant to be level 3. There would surely be some way to view that informati¡­ Name: Rob Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Elf Zombie Level: 3 Well that was quite easy. The words appeared in my vision before I even finished thinking that I wanted to see them. There wasn''t much there though. Unaffiliated Monster¡­ that made some sense, but also implied that there were some sort of affiliations that monsters might have. Then there was the race, Elf Zombie. Elf? That was odd, I touched my ears and they did indeed have the stereotypical long pointy ends, why was I an Elf Zombie and not a Human one? I lifted my hand to look, and yes my fingers were skin and bone and white as a sheet as one would expect from a zombie. I couldn¡¯t tell what my face looked like but examining my limbs revealed that I was a gaunt bony decaying corpse. I seemed to be wearing some sort of rags that definitely wouldn¡¯t count as clothes but at least I had a something on. Again my emotions being dulled seemed to be helping with the overwhelming nature of my current situation. I wasn''t sure if it was a good thing or not but for now I was grateful that I wasn''t a blubbering mess even after dying, meeting the damn Grim Reaper, being sent to another world, and then undying all over the course of a few minutes. My thoughts were cut short when movement in the brush nearby drew my attention. Something was here. I struggled to my feet, it seemed like my body wasn''t just decaying for show but my limbs didn''t want to function properly either. By the time I managed to right myself and take up something like a fighting stance the terrible beast had emerged. Before me stood a¡­ squirrel. Well it could have been a wild rampaging dragon so I felt justified in my caution. The small furry creature didn''t seem to notice or care about me in the slightest as it continued on its way doing whatever squirrels did. As it passed I watched it warily. This was supposedly a fantasy world with magic and monsters, who knew what it might end up doing. Name: Squirrely McSquirrel Classification: Unknown Critter Race: Squirrel Level: 0 Huh, seems like I was able to examine other creatures and see an information page similar to my own, that would probably end up being handy. What was with that name though, did squirrel parents name their offspring? If they did then this particular squirrel should look into getting new parents, the naming sense was¡­ not good. The tiny critter ran off and left me to myself. Welp, this was a new world and some sort of fantasy adventure surely waited just over the next hill, so off I went. It would have been nice to find myself in a town, or grassland, or anything with easier travel than a damn forest. It was clear this forest had little wildlife and even less people visiting, I couldn¡¯t find a game trail to save my life and so had to struggle through overgrowth to make any progress. I couldn''t really feel temperature with this dead body but if I could I would definitely be sweating buckets while trying to blaze a trail through the brush, some fantasy adventure this was. I had been at it a while but I couldn''t tell time by the sun without being able to see the sun, there were too many trees and I could only glimpse the sky between the leaves. Thinking about it, trying to tell time by the sun was assuming the sun rose and set on this world like it did on Earth. Still it must have been several hours before I finally found myself in a small clearing. The term ¡®clearing'' was deceptive though as it was really just a space of a dozen feet or so without any trees, the treetops still blocked out the sky all the way through. I had passed a few places with similar spacing between trees but until this one they had all been overgrown with brush to the point that I wasn''t able to enter without some sort of tool to cut away at the plants. This clearing though did not have the same growth, not anymore at least. It was clear that this area had just as much life in it at one point but something had killed all of the plants. All the vines and brush, and even part of one tree had turned black. With the exception of the half dead tree all the plants had withered and fallen, leaving a true empty space between the trees in an almost perfect circle. As I stood at the edge of the dead clearing, a strange feeling rose up within. My emotions had been muted ever since dying but now I felt one even more strongly than I had even in life, desire. Whatever was at the center of this circle I wanted it, NEEDED it. Without having been addicted to anything in life except maybe soda, it was hard to say for sure, but this felt like I had been addicted to something for a long time but kept clean, only to now be seeing it right in front of me, calling. Without fully realizing what I was doing I walked forward into the dead circle. As I drew closer to the center the feeling grew, it was all that I could think of and my hands were shaking. ¡°What the hell is this?¡± I tried to ask but it came out as a groan. I tried to summon up some trepidation but now my dead emotions were working against me and I couldn''t care that I was probably near something dangerous. Was I about to re-die so soon after being dropped into this new world? I really wanted to adventure and fight monsters or something, not die to some weird irradiated meteorite or something. Still my body moved on its own and I dug an object out from a pile of dead plants. It was¡­ a crown? Certainly no ordinary crown since it was at the center of a ring of death, but it did look like a crown one would see on the head of some royalty or something. I reached down and touched it. ¡°HEY" A vaguely feminine voice called out My hand jerked back as if burned, I looked around but couldn''t find the source of the voice. My worries had finally overcome my unnatural desire for this thing and I began to reconsider. Just then I heard movement from behind. Thinking it was the poorly named squirrel returned for vengeance I turned to look. As my gaze left the odd crown the strange unnatural desire I felt dropped right off a cliff and I only wanted to leave. The source of the sound made itself clear as I finished my turn, an honest to goodness goblin jumped out of a tree and into the clearing. The goblin look to be straight out of a fantasy novel or video game, it was a three foot tall light green humanoid with a long pointed nose. It seemed the goblin had seen the crown as well and its eyes locked onto it. I was fine with the weird little monster taking the crown and I didn¡¯t want to tangle with the nasty looking spear it held so I tried to backpedal away, but I bumped the crown with my foot as I passed. The moment I touched it I heard the voice again. ¡°Wait! Don¡¯t leave me for that little¡­¡± The voice again cut away, This time I noticed it cut out the moment my foot lost contact. The goblin hadn''t noticed any of this and may not have actually been aware of my presence at all. I supposed I probably looked just like this a moment ago, totally fixated and oblivious to the world around me. This was clearly some sort of powerful item that drew monsters , maybe giving it to this goblin wasn''t the best after all. I shifted just a bit to touch the crown once more and hold the connection so I could hear the voice. ¡°Oh thank gods, you do understand me. Quick put me on before that sentient booger gets his mitts on me!¡± I tried to ask what was going on but finally realized that I was actually not capable of making sounds aside from groans and moans. The crown seemed to understand my intent well enough though and answered my question anyway. ¡°Look there''s no time, either fight that thing and kill it and all the other monsters that show up until another one capable of thought shows up, or put me on yourself.¡± During the one sided conversation the goblin had drawn closer, finally noticing me just before entering arms reach. Realizing there was some competition for the prize the goblin lifted his spear and started growling at me. Well here was the adventure I wanted, I wasn¡¯t going to be able to fight something with a weapon like that, I still had a hard time moving properly and had no weapons of my own. Either I put this weird crown on, or I tried shambling away to¡­ do what? It wasn''t like I had a lot of options and I probably wouldn''t find many fights easier than a goblin, goblins were one of the weakest monsters in any game. Maybe that was the case here maybe not, but if I ran from a goblin now chances were good I would only find worse things. No, I needed to get stronger and level so I could have a proper fantasy adventure. This crown was clearly some special sentient magic item, it should offer some sort of boost or something right? I put the crown on, and the goblin screamed in rage and charged for a moment before freezing mid stride. Time freezing seemed to be a theme recently. ¡°Great, I¡¯m glad you decided not to be a mindless type of zombie, I¡¯m sure we will be number one in no time.¡± Dungeon crown equipped Would you like to form a dungeon here? ¡°You¡¯re gonna want to agree, if you choose to wait then short dumb and ugly over there will get his chance to take me back¡± With a mental shrug I thought Yes Congratulations Rob You have successfully formed a dungeon Dungeon name: Dungeon #32476 Dungeon type: Undead Dungeon level: 1 Dungeon tier: cave Dungeon danger rank: 32476 Dungeon popularity rank: n/a No rooms detected Please design boss chamber¡­ 2. First Invasion 2 First invasion Error: Cannot enter dungeon construction interface during dungeon invasion Error: Dungeon has no boss chamber Resolving¡­ Error: no rooms to be designated as boss chamber Resolving¡­ Resolving¡­ Suddenly the world went dark. Resolution found: Basic room generated and designated as boss chamber, 10 silver has been removed from dungeon resources as compensation Resuming invasion in: 3¡­ 2¡­ 1¡­ The darkness persisted but now I could hear the goblin¡¯s scream. The goblin quickly faltered though probably as confused as I was at the sudden absence of light. The voice of the crown spoke again, ¡°Quick, goblins can¡¯t see in the dark. Kill it!¡± I can''t see in the dark either! I had learned from my previous attempts at speech and the crown seemed to be able to understand my thoughts before, so rather than repeating my groans and moans I THOUGHT at the crown. My hunch was proven correct when the voice responded. ¡°That¡­ is less than optimal. You can hear it grunting and stumbling around though right? Use your zombieness to get it!¡± I was quickly losing any confidence in my new hat. My zombieness? What is going on? Why is it dark now? ¡°AGHH just kill the goblin, we don''t have time for this right now!¡± The exasperation in the voice made it clear the lack of confidence was mutual. I wanted to continue the argument but the goblin had stumbled into me. The sudden zombie hug startled the monster into dropping the spear to the floor with a clatter. That was odd, the ground was dirt and dead plants before the light disappeared, there shouldn''t be any clattering. I couldn''t consider the oddity long because a goblin fist smashed me in the side of the head. That wasn''t very nice, I was reminded that I could very definitely feel pain as my ears rang from the blow. I tried shoving the goblin away and stepped on the spear which shifted under my weight. We both wound up in a heap on the floor. Like most adult men, I had watched at least some professional sport fighting in my life before. The scuffle on the floor was nothing like that. This goblin must have been a veteran of many fights and knew exactly what it was doing as it tried gouging my eyes and biting my throat like some kind of animal. It finally clicked with me that this was a fight to the death. My opponent wouldn''t be stopping at winning the fight, given half a chance this little green monster would kill me without even one thought never mind a second thought. With the seriousness of the situation finally properly impressed on me I fought back. Like an animal I thrashed and scratched and bit. It was perfectly dark but even if I could see I don''t think I would be able to tell what was happening in the tangle. At one point I caught what must have been an elbow to the throat. The force of the blow drove my head into the ground where I was again reminded that for some reason it was no longer soft dead plants and dirt but some sort of stone. White sparks swam through my vision and it took a moment to realize I was literally seeing stars, I didn''t even know that was a real thing. Then I realized the goblin was no longer on top of me. Once I refocused, which took more effort with the throbbing in my head than it should have, I could hear the goblin. It had disengaged and retreated a ways off. It was doing something, shuffling around and groaning in pain but I couldn''t tell what. Then I heard a crack and a sudden light split the darkness before fading almost as quickly as it had appeared. The crack was repeated a few times before the light grew and I could see what the goblin was doing. The goblin had lit a torch, I couldn''t tell where the thing had come from. Worse, I couldn''t look directly at the light, the darkness had made my eyes adjust and the flickering torch hurt my already throbbing head. Fortunately the goblin didn''t seem interested in pressing the advantage, instead examining its leg and moaning in pain. Until now I hadn''t understood the screams and grunts the goblin had been making but this moan seemed to convey the feeling of despair. My vision adjusted to the light and I was now able to see the stone room we had been fighting in. There wasn''t much to see, the room was a cube of about ten feet to a side, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all the same dark stone block. The only interesting features were the seams on one wall that suggested some sort of door, a weird chest, and the blood. So much blood. I was covered in the stuff and was lying in a puddle. I tried to scramble to my feet but like the first time out in the forest it took time and effort to convince my body to work the way I wanted. I hurt all over and had more than a few scrapes and cuts but none of them bled, nor did any of my wounds seem sufficient to explain the pool of blood. Finally I got a good look at the goblin. Name: Geoff Livingston Classification: Unknown Monster Race: Goblin ERROR Level: 2 I brushed off the information for the moment, instead looking at the goblin in front of me. Geoff the goblin had pulled back from the fight and scrambled back to one wall where he dumped a pack that I had not noticed him carrying before on the ground. That was apparently where the torch had come from which he had lit to examine his leg. Geoff had slumped against the door and clamped his eyes closed, face screwed up in pain and despair. A huge chunk of flesh had torn away from one thigh and more blood than what should have been able to fit in that small of a body was still pouring from the wound. I didn''t remember doing it but I must have bit Geoff''s leg. The goblin was about to bleed to death, even if I wanted to there would be no way to stop that bleeding. ¡°That was sloppy, but at least you won" The voice startled me before I remembered the crown was still there. That too was odd, there was no way the crown would have stayed on my head during that thrashing fight but here it was still securely stuck to my head. Lay off, Geoff is dying, sure he was my enemy but have some respect. ¡°Respect? It¡¯s a monster, a dumb monster" I¡¯m a monster now, and you¡¯re just a dumb hat, just be quiet for a minute Somehow I could feel that if the crown had eyes it would be rolling them, but it.. she? kept quiet. Slowly the pain faded from Geoff''s face and the flow of blood slowed. Finally it stopped altogether and a sigh escaped his mouth. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 1 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 37 Damage dealt: 50 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: depleted survival pack, low quality torch, flint and steel, empty water skin, damaged survival knife, low quality hunting spear, goblin corpse Invasion duration: 5:12 Invasion reward: 4 tin Loot value: 11 tin Convert loot to mana coins? It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. Apparently I was being scored on how well I fought off Geoff. Now it wanted to know if I wanted to¡­ what? Sell the loot? I had no idea what the currency meant but hadn''t the room I was now inside cost something to make? Thinking back there was definitely some talk of compensation, and money was always a good thing so I tried confirming. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Yes? Converting loot to mana coins¡­ I watched in fascination as the empty pack dissolved into nothing, then the torch follow suit. Perhaps the list was being sold or converted or whatever in the order it was listed. I wasn''t able to tell though because as soon as the torch dissolved the room was plunged into darkness again. I was left in the dark and silence. Whatever was happening to the items was totally silent. Except¡­ there was a sound. It started slowly at first, just barely on the edge of my hearing so that I wasn''t sure I was really hearing anything. A shifting in the air, then a scraping shuffling sound. I couldn''t place the sound but it was familiar. Then silence again. Error: loot marked for conversion no longer available Total reward for invasion: 13 tin Error: Dungeon cannot reopen during invasion Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Something was not right. The crown spoke, ¡°Hey so I know I¡¯m supposed to be all respectful or whatever but¡­ what the hell is happening?¡± Well¡­ I was hoping you knew¡­ The messages said¡­ The crown interrupted, ¡°I know what they say, I AM the dungeon¡­ sort of¡­ anyway, the door never opened how do we have another invader?¡± I had a feeling I knew the answer, but didn''t respond, instead I tried calling out, forgetting that I couldn''t speak. ¡°Hey are you out there? You alive?¡± is what I tried to say though it sounded more like, ¡°uuuuughnh yaaaaahfffmh" ¡°mmmmmfhfh ruuuuughhn" Came back from the darkness Somehow I knew that meant, ¡°Oh hello, why yes I am here, and am indeed alive. Thank you for your concern. What do you make of this situation?¡± Or something like that. ¡°I think you were infected with¡­ whatever makes zombies from people when they die. Now you are alive again, sort of. The dungeon system thing sees you as an invader and kept the door locked until one of us dies I guess.¡± I groaned back ¡°That is rather unfortunate, but at least we are now able to communicate. You seem like a learned individual, and my own death does seem to have improved my own intellect substantially as well. Perhaps we could work toward a mutually beneficial solution together.¡± Geoff moaned in response ¡°Hey, don''t ignore me like I¡¯m not here.¡± The crown butted in ¡°Hmmm, is that the dungeon crown? It seems like you have been stuck with a dungeon with quite the abrasive personality" ¡°Shut up you, at least I¡¯m not dead!¡± The crown snapped at Geoff That seemed strange, so I asked, ¡°You''re a hat, you¡¯re not alive right?... Wait more importantly you understand him?¡± ¡°Of course I do, I¡¯m a dungeon crown, I understand all monsters.¡± ¡°so¡­ why didn¡¯t you try talking to Geoff earlier?¡± I asked ¡°He''s just a dumb goblin, they only understand violence" Geoff grunted, ¡°Harsh, but not entirely incorrect. My people are a warlike race for sure, and before my death I only wanted to kill you and take the crown for myself.¡± I shook my head even though no one could see anything, ¡°Well the more pressing issue is, now what? The door is locked until one of us dies right? Or well, dies again at least. If you¡¯re not trying to kill me then I don''t see a reason for us to fight, but how can we convince the dungeon you¡¯re not invading?¡± I could feel the crown radiating dissatisfaction before it answered, ¡°You can agree to a minion contract" ¡°A what?¡± ¡°A minion contract!¡± The crown answered impatiently, ¡°If the goblin agrees to become a minion of the dungeon they will be recognized as belonging and the invasion will have no more invaders.¡± ¡°How does it work? What do I do?¡± asked Geoff hopefully ¡°You kneel and offer your service, then¡­ I still don¡¯t have either of your names¡­ anyway then this one accepts. You¡¯ll be evaluated by the dungeon and given a pay rate. Then you¡¯ll be a minion of this dungeon, protected from death and bound to defend it until released.¡± ¡°There is a lot I don''t understand about this dungeon system thing. You need to explain it better¡­ and I''m Rob¡± ¡°Geoff" The goblin zombie added his own name ¡°Great, I am Lilith, thanks for asking. And¡­¡± the next part took a moment to come and it felt like the crown, Lilith, really didn''t want to say it, ¡°I don''t remember everything. When a dungeon crown takes a new dungeon master they lose most of their memory of how dungeons work¡­¡± ¡°But you know about the minion thing" I pointed out ¡°I only know about the functions that have been unlocked, how to unlock the next tier, the tier names and the general function of the dungeons.¡± ¡°well¡­ explain what you do know then" Lilith sighed, which was odd given the lack of lungs and telepathic nature of the voice, ¡°Fine, you can see the unlocks yourself in the stats window when you enter the dungeon construction interface so figure that out yourself. You are at Cave tier, the lowest tier. The next tier unlocks when you defeat five invasions, recruit at least one minion over level zero, and build the maximum number of rooms.¡± Lilith took a deep breath in her nonexistent lungs before launching into the next info dump, ¡°Now, the Tiers are as follows, Cave, Nest, Den, Lair, Base, Village, Town, City, Kingdom, Empire, and the eleventh, Master Dungeon. The Tiers each unlock new options and functions. I only know what this tier unlocks, you get to figure that out yourself, and what the eleventh tier unlocks. There is only ever one eleventh tier dungeon at a time. The eleventh tier dungeon rules over all the other dungeons and has some small amount of influence over the dungeon system itself. Once a new dungeon reaches eleventh tier the previous Master Dungeon will ascend and the gods give them their own world to rule over as a new god. Eleventh and then twelfth tiers are the goal of¡­ most dungeons.¡± The room was silent for a time, none of the occupants needing to breathe but definitely needing a few minutes to process. Finally, I asked a question, ¡°You said most dungeons, they don¡¯t all want to become gods?¡± ¡°No¡­ I don¡¯t remember why¡­ my memories have been removed remember¡­ anyway that doesn¡¯t matter, it will take a long time before you are at the level where any of that affects you.¡± ¡°What if¡­ I don¡¯t want this? What if I just want to adventure and don''t want to run a dungeon or whatever.¡± I did find the dungeon thing interesting and might decide to run one, but I certainly didn''t want to be forced into it. Lilith sounded smug when she answered, ¡°Too late you put the crown on, your life is now tied to the dungeon. I can''t be removed unless you are dead, and if I am removed respawning is turned off so you will stay dead along with all the minions who happen to be dead at the time.¡± That grabbed my attention, ¡°Repawning? Stay dead? Are you saying that I can''t die?¡± ¡°No, use your head, if you die you respawn, all dungeon monsters respawn some time after death. BUT, if you lose the crown while dead you stay dead. I am a powerful magical artifact. Monsters are compelled to take me and adventurers want to collect as much loot as possible. There is no way they will leave the crown after defeating the dungeon. You die and you surely will stay that way.¡± Geoff cut in, ¡°That reminds me, I very much wanted the crown. My own memories are foggy but they are slowly coming back. I needed to find somewhere safe for my tribe, we had been driven off from our village and needed to find a new place to settle. A dungeon would have been perfect but they are rare and most are too strong for goblins, even several of us, to defeat. Finding an unclaimed crown was the ideal scenario but those just don''t exist.¡± Geoff paused for a moment before continuing, ¡°If I could ask a favor¡­ I will join as a minion but¡­ could you also take on the rest of my tribe?¡± Lilith scoffed, ¡°Hell no, I refuse to become a goblin dungeon. Goblins are filthy, smelly, disgusting, stupid creatures. I refuse. You are one thing being a zombie goblin but I will not allow a whole tribe of the things.¡± ¡°Do you get a say?¡± I asked genuinely curious if she was able to refuse decisions I made about the dungeon. Lilith hesitated before answering, ¡°Of course I do, I AM the dungeon you might be the boss but you can¡¯t let a bunch of disgusting goblins inside me without my approval.¡± I wasn''t convinced, but she did have a point. I wanted to help the goblin tribe but if the dungeon was basically Lilith''s body she should have a say as to what happened to it. Her personality was¡­ unlikable, but I could understand. She had little to no control over anything that happened to her and was completely at the mercy of whoever had put on the crown. ¡°I won''t force you¡± I finally spoke up, ¡°But the goblins need a home, can we temporarily add them as minions?¡± ¡°No,¡± Lilith seemed less indignant now that I was clearly taking her opinion into account. Seems like I made the right call. She continued, ¡°No, the minion contract is semi-permanent. The only ways a minion can leave is by buying out the contract, which is prohibitively expensive, being released which damages the soul, that would be fatal to monsters of low level, or by being alive when the dungeon is destroyed.¡± ¡°Can''t we waive the fee for buying out a contract? We are the contract holders after all.¡± I asked ¡°We aren''t the contract holders, the dungeon system is the contract holder. The minion and the dungeon itself are just the contractors, the fee is taken by the system like when you build dungeon rooms.¡± The room went silent again while we all thought. Several minutes later Geoff broke the silence, apparently having put his own mind to the task as well after having listened to the problem. ¡°You are fine with me being a minion even though I¡¯m a goblin?¡± ¡°You aren''t really a goblin anymore, you¡¯re a zombie. Goblins are foul creatures, zombies are much cleaner. Sure they are dead but they don¡¯t rot, racial magic stops decomposition.¡± I held back a grunt, someone should tell that to my dysfunctional limbs, maybe they didn''t decompose but this body must have been made halfway decomposed. Lilith continued unaware of my indignation, ¡°So zombies don¡¯t smell, they don¡¯t defecate, they don¡¯t need to eat but usually they eat the entire corpse of whatever they kill. That doesn¡¯t exactly matter much though as the dungeon system converts bodies to mana coins. Anyway, zombies are cleaner than goblins.¡± Geoff nodded at the explanation, ¡°Then¡­ what if we turn my whole tribe to zombies? Can they join then?¡± That stunned Lilith into silence, I too was shocked by that conclusion. Geoff wanted to kill and zombify his entire goblin tribe. ¡°What the hell happened to your tribe that you are ok with killing them all? I asked Geoff shook his head sadly, ¡°We wont survive either way. Trolls raided our village and killed almost everyone. They ate the children right in front of us as we were helpless to fight back. They knew what they were doing. They laughed as we screamed and begged. Something is not right with those trolls. Trolls are nasty mean creatures, but that was worse. Something must have twisted them to make them that cruel and savage. Only a few of us made our escape. There aren¡¯t enough of us and we don¡¯t have a home anymore. If we can make them into dungeon minions then we can have a home again, and we will be safe. Even if we die defending this place, as long as you survive then we will come back. It''s the best option¡± I could only just barely see shapes even after all this time adjusting to the darkness but even still I could tell Geoff had fixed a look of determination on his face. This goblin was every bit a thinking feeling person as I was and he had decided to do whatever it took to save what was left of his family, even if that meant killing them with his own hands. I wasn¡¯t sure I could make a decision like that in his situation. I added my own plea to Geoff''s, ¡°Lilith, I won''t make you accept, but¡­ please let them join as minions.¡± Lilith didn''t take long to respond, ¡°Fine fine. I¡¯m not heartless¡­ no, I am, but that¡¯s beside the point. Turn them to zombies like Geoff here and they can join.¡± Geoff radiated happiness as he took a knee and declared, ¡°I swear to serve the dungeon boss Rob and the dungeon Lilith as a minion. I will defend the dungeon to the best of my ability and spare no effort in raising the dungeon to the eleventh tier" The words sounded formal somehow, like they hadn''t come from Geoff but were some sort of standard oath. That thought proved true when the proper response came to me. ¡°I accept your oath, Geoff, Goblin zombie. In turn I swear to protect you and not restrict your own growth. I swear to carry you with me to the peak and beyond. Rise as a minion of Dungeon number thirty two thousand four hundred seventy six.¡± 3. Building a Dungeon 3 Building a Dungeon New minion added Minion details: Name: Geoff Livingston Classification: Dungeon #32476 Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 2 Pay rate: 1 tin per day, 2 tin per slain invader Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 0 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: none Invasion duration: 18:41 Invasion reward: 1 tin Loot value: 0 tin No loot to covert Total reward for invasion: 1 tin A low rumble began behind Geoff, and then light filled the room. Glorious daylight filled the room as the door slid down into the floor. I still couldn¡¯t tell what time it was but it was still day. ¡°Where is my spear? And my pack?¡± Geoff moaned in zombie speak. Oh yeah¡­ well at least he kept the loincloth. ¡°When you were dead the dungeon asked if I wanted to convert the stuff into coins, I thought you were dead dead so I agreed¡­ Lilith ate it all.¡± ¡°Hey! That''s not how it works at all I didn''t eat anything!¡± the crown in question exclaimed. With a sigh Geoff made his way out of the dungeon room, ¡°Alright well I am going to go find my people. I¡¯ll bring them back as quickly as possible and we can turn them.¡± I nodded and my new zombie goblin friend vanished into the trees. He was definitely able to move better than me even with the leg wound that had turned him. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 3 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 2 ¡°Uhhh what¡¯s a dungeon wave?¡± I asked ¡°Just a fancy way of saying monsters can leave the dungeon but only as many as you can fit into a single room of the dungeon" Lilith answered sounding bored ¡°Alright, so nothing dangerous or weird is about to happen?¡± ¡°How should I know? I can¡¯t read the future" ¡°Thanks" ¡°No problem¡± It was hard to tell if Lilith was intentionally aggravating or if that was just her personality. Neither option was promising. ¡°So what now?¡± I asked ¡°You need to work toward raising your tier, you can''t do anything about the five invasion requirement right now but you can build another room to hit the maximum room number at the Cave tier. It would be good if you added lighting as well and just figured out how to use the interface in general.¡± That seemed reasonable enough so I decided that would be my next goal. I spent a few minutes walking around examining the outside of the room that was built when I put the crown on. The room was a cube as I had suspected. About ten feet to a side, made of stone blocks of a type of stone I didn¡¯t recognize, and totally lacking any interesting features. I felt like I was forgetting something but it must not have been important. Satisfied that the weird room was just a weird room and nothing special I moved on to building. Or I would have if I knew how to start building. There had been talk of an interface so I knew I wasn¡¯t supposed to literally build things. There had to be a way to activate it. I was absolutely not going to ask Lilith and invite that headache. Dungeon construction initiated I finally managed it by willing the interface to open. It seemed simple but just thinking about wanting something really hard was surprisingly awkward. As soon as the message faded the world froze. My vision blurred for a moment and suddenly I was looking down at the clearing from above. I could see the black square dungeon room in the center of the clearing. Next to the dungeon room I saw¡­ myself. It was strange looking down at this creature that was me. I hadn''t even been in this world a full day yet and the new body was totally different from my old one. Even so, the new body felt familiar, correct, as if I had been walking around in it for years. Whatever weird magic ruled this world was powerful stuff indeed. Then I noticed something off. Based on the view I had, I was a good thirty feet in the air right now, but if that was the case I would be in the treetops and shouldn''t be able to see anything. The moment I thought that, my vision was blocked by leaves and branches. Well that would be inconvenient. Surely there had to be a way to move my point of view around. There would have to be if this was supposed to be a building interface, how else would you build inside a room for detail work. Again, as soon as I thought about moving my view around, my view moved. Seems like the construction interface functions based on will like how I opened the thing in the first place. I took a minute to get used to exerting my will on the scene. I didn''t try to make any changes, just moved my view around and through objects as well as making the leaves and even the roof of the existing room invisible to myself. The whole thing reminded me a lot of base building games back on Earth. I had quite a bit of experience playing games and base building games were one of my favorites. I could lose myself for hours balancing resources and maximizing production lines. Thinking about resources made me wonder if there was such a thing here. Dungeon construction resources Mana coins: 14 tin 0 copper 0 silver 0 gold 0 platinum 0 mithril Held material weight: 0/1000 Special items: none Again the system supplied an answer before I even managed to fully form the question. The list was pretty small and confusing so I asked the dungeon directly. ¡°What are mana coins?¡± Lilith''s response was as acerbic as usual, ¡°I think the name is pretty descriptive, coins made of mana, mana coins¡­ currency¡­ money¡­ are you sure you¡¯re not the mindless type of zombie?" Unfortunately my current disembodied status meant I had no eyes to roll. She wasn''t going to be any help, so I tried willing the mana coin section to expand. Nothing happened. I tried opening up a shop window or something. Nothing. I tried various mental commands for several minutes before giving up. I would probably figure it out eventually, everything related to the system had been fairly intuitive so far. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. Putting the mana coin question aside for the moment, and definitely not giving up in frustration, I closed the resource window. I tried to will a room into existence next to the first. Error: Room not attached to dungeon Error: Insufficient held material to build room Alright, now we were getting somewhere. Not attached to dungeon? Does that mean the entire dungeon had to be contiguous? That made some sense I supposed. Error: Insufficient held material to build room Great, that worked fine. My second attempt connected the new room to the existing one through the doorway, which eliminated one error. Now I just needed to figure out this held material thing. Double checking confirmed the resource window mentioned held material, saying I had zero of a thousand. My assumption would be that I had to have something to build the room out of and held material being at zero meant I had¡­ zero material¡­ Alright maybe it sounded obvious but this was new and I had no manual. How then, did I get material? I didn''t manage to open a shop window before so that probably wasn''t it. Hold on, weren''t dungeons usually underground? Maybe I could dig a second room out below the first. Willing a cavern into existence under the first room with about the same dimensions actually worked. Suddenly the room had a basement, albeit one made entirely of dirt and tree roots. In order to satisfy the connected room requirement I had willed a stairwell of dirt in one corner and sure enough, the stairs connected the two rooms through a newly made hole in the floor. Intuitive indeed. Now I needed lighting. There was definitely no way to make lights by digging a hole, so I would need to figure out how to add material. A quick check to the resource window confirmed my suspicion that digging out a basement had actually collected the dirt as material, and revealed the purpose of mana coins beyond paying minions. Held material weight: 242/1000 Projected cost of changes: 2.42 tin I wasn''t sure how partial coins would be handled but at least I understood some of what was going on now. Still, held material didn''t really break down WHAT material I held. Obviously I had a lot of dirt and some rocks and tree roots but I wouldn''t be able to make torches or any other light source from that. Wait¡­ I converted the torch that Geoff carried earlier. It didn''t add to my held material but maybe if I could convert items to mana coins, I could do the reverse? I flexed my will imagining a torch. Error: Material types not unlocked for use Missing material types: Cloth, Animal fat Forcibly unlock material types? Cost: 5 tin Ok that worked¡­ somewhat. I needed to unlock materials to use them in building. Doing it like this was possible but cost coins, that suggested there was another way to unlock materials. ¡°Lilith please tell me how to unlock materials, with minimal mocking and condescension.¡± Lilith scoffed, ¡°You''re stuck already? You won''t be making it very far if you can''t even figure this little bit out. Fine. You can place any material you¡¯ve absorbed before. Unlocking material just means absorbing it once.¡± Well I got the answer at least, but it wasn''t much of an answer. I had figured out that I could place what I absorbed but did that mean I could only place a bunch of dirt and sticks now? Some dungeon that would be. I really didn''t want to spend five tin, more than a third of my wealth, for just one torch. I needed lighting though¡­ What about windows? I absorbed stones from the walls and ceiling creating a skylight and a window on each wall save for the doorway wall. That shed some light on the first room but the second had to rely on diffuse scraps of light from the stairwell. Maybe that wouldn¡¯t matter, I was trying to build a second room to satisfy the tier up requirements, no one said anything about the rooms being useful. I tried to confirm the changes. Error: Room 2 is on a different floor, second floor not unlocked Error: Room 2 structurally unsound Error: Boss chamber designated as Room 1, Room 2 placed after Room 1, Rooms placed after Boss chambers classed as treasure rooms, treasure rooms not unlocked I take back my praise of the systems intuitiveness. What the hell was I supposed to do with that mess of nonsense? I ended up spending an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to make the damn thing work. I couldn¡¯t place a room on a second floor, but I also couldn¡¯t build at ground level without material to do so. I couldn¡¯t get material without digging out a room underground, so I was stuck. I solved that problem by tearing out the floor of ¡®Room 1¡¯ making it one giant room that extended into the ground. That set off a series of errors about structural stability and traps not being unlocked. I finally worked out that it considered the entry door being ten feet up from the floor was a trap, so I built a staircase down from stone that I had absorbed. Fortunately the stairs didn¡¯t make the room two floors or something so that seemed valid. Next I solved the structural issues by extending the stone walls of the original Room 1 down to the ground, then for good measure I made the floor from the same stone. That left me with a room barely bigger that my arms outstretched but twenty feet tall. Whatever. Then I tried making the second room again, this time when I dug out a room it shared a floor with the first extending off to the side just under the forest floor. That satisfied the single floor requirement, but set off more structural errors. I resolved those by continuing the stone walls and floor theme. The ceiling of the second room was just under the surface so I added some dirt on top, hopefully plants would grow there and help disguise the oddity. Finally I realized I had been making stone walls and floors far beyond what the material I had absorbed from windows and the removed floor could account for. I thought back on the wording of the errors and what Lilith had said and my gut sank. A quick test confirmed I had been a moron. Whenever I absorbed a material I unlocked that material for use. The held material gauge didn''t show what material I held because it didn''t matter. Material was material and I could place anything I had ever absorbed regardless of how much or when I had absorbed it. I had absorbed a few tree roots and gravel, so I could place a mountain of wood and rock. That explained why the torch was so expensive, I would be unlocking materials that I didn''t have for permanent use. The only difference I could find in the materials was how much they ¡®cost'' in weight. Each material had some value in weight, so I could, for example, absorb a yard of dirt and place a quarter as much stone. They had the same weight, but the weight wasn''t based on actual weight but some nebulous value that I didn¡¯t understand. I had absorbed some iron from my excavation and could now place iron but one ounce of iron had a similar value as five pounds of stone. The whole thing was giving me a headache and I just wanted to be done. I quickly checked on the projected cost and decided unlocking the torch materials would be fine so I paid the fee. I was able to cut small divots in the walls that fit the torches so I wouldn''t have to spend the material on brackets. Then I filled in the windows so I wouldn''t have weather pouring in, no windows until glass or something. With my torches placed and rooms built most of the troubles were done. I still needed to figure out how to change the boss chamb¡­ Select boss chamber: Room 1 Room 2 Just be simple to use or complicated quit flipping back and forth! I still wasn''t in my body so I couldn¡¯t grit my teeth in frustration, but the dungeon knew. I selected room 2 as the boss room and cautiously, tentatively, hopefully, willed the process to finish. Dungeon construction complete Checking¡­ Checking¡­ Checking¡­ Don¡¯t fuck with me dungeon, there are only two rooms, just build it! Construction cost: 7.34 tin rounded to 8 Confirm? YES! Do it! My vision snapped back to my body and time resumed. It had taken me upwards of two hours to sort that mess out but no time had actually passed. I felt irrationally angry that no time had passed. I pushed the feeling away and moved into the dungeon to check it out with my own eyes. Walking again after having spent so long without legs was more difficult than I imagined. The difficulty was only made worse by the stone stairs immediately in the door. I could understand now how the dungeon called the free hanging door a trap. Even only ten feet up, the stone floor ten feet below and no handrail made the stairs seem narrow and treacherous. Without the flickering glow from the torches even the stairs could probably be counted as a trap. That caused me to pause and consider. The torches had been made by my will, I had imagined them lit and so they were. Obviously they would burn out with time, and I would need to replace them, but I should be able to extinguish them to save them for later. When Geoff had been an invader the door had been locked and the room was fully dark. What would happen if I went down to the lower area and extinguished the torches? Whenever an invader entered, the door would shut and plunge the room into darkness, even if they had a torch of their own it would take a moment to light it during which they would be perched on these sketchy stairs in full darkness. I would basically be making a trap manually rather than in the dungeon interface. Would that be allowed? How would it stop me if it wasn¡¯t? Assuming it worked that would open a whole world of possibilities. Images flashed through my mind of swinging logs, pits of spikes, locked rooms set ablaze, flooded chambers, and all sorts of other ¡®traps'' that I could probably set up without being counted as a trap. Maybe being a dungeon boss would be an easy gig after all. I quickly explored the entire ¡®dungeon'' It wasn''t much of one to be sure. Only two rooms all of bare stone and torches. I only left one torch burning to keep the place lit, saving the rest for later. I couldn''t tell how long they would last but they were definitely burning and not just magically lit forever or something. One of the unlit torches was placed at the top of the stairs for emergency lighting, at least until I realized I wouldn¡¯t be able to light the thing. The only source of flame I had was the single still burning torch. Again I regretted just dissolving all the gear Geoff had brought without thinking about it first. I had spent five tin unlocking the torches and another eight on construction, that left me with only two coins. I doubted I would be able to do much with two coins even if I did want to dive back into that mess. Tools like flint and steel would have to wait, furniture too for that matter. I really had overlooked some pretty basic things, but in my defense¡­ fuck errors. Geoff and his goblin family would probably bring some stuff with them when he returned. I wouldn''t have to wait for them though would I? I was perfectly capable of walking, and while I probably wouldn¡¯t be finding much of use at least I could look around a bit. I climbed the stairs and left the dungeon again, intent on exploring the surroundings. As long as I didn''t die and lose the crown I should be fine right? I picked a direction at random and started walking. Only fifty feet or so later a message popped up. Error: Dungeon wave cumulative level cap insufficient to add monster Cumulative level cap: 3 Current wave cumulative level: 2 Error: Dungeon Boss and Dungeon Crown cannot both be absent from dungeon at the same time I see. I had forgotten about the level restriction on the wave, but what was that about the boss and the crown? The way that read made it seem like the dungeon boss and the crown could separate and one would be allowed to leave. ¡°Hey Lilith, what''s this about us being absent at the same time?¡± She didn''t respond ¡°Lilith?¡± This time Lilith snorted and sounded startled, ¡°Huh, What?¡± ¡°Were¡­ were you just asleep?¡± ¡°Of course I was, do you have any idea how boring it is to watch you fumble around trying to build a single room?¡± ¡°You could have helped." ¡°mmm no maybe next time.¡± I rolled my eyes, glad to be able to do so again, ¡°So? About the message?¡± ¡°What message?¡± ¡°The one that says we can¡¯t both be absent at the same time?¡± ¡°What about it?¡± Now she was starting to sound irritated, which was irritating me in turn. ¡°That means one of us could be absent without the other right?¡± ¡°Yeah, so what?¡± ¡°I thought you said I couldn''t take the crown off without dying" ¡°Yeeeeah? What is your point?¡± I came very close to shouting at her then. It takes a lot to piss me off but this was doing it. ¡°How can one of us leave without the other if we are attached permanently?¡± I managed through gritted teeth, another thing I had been looking forward to being able to do again. Lilith paused before answering sounding confused, ¡°I¡­ don''t know¡­ I did know but¡­ the memory is gone¡­¡± Our conversation was cut short as a troop of goblins led by Geoff entered the clearing with a clamor. 4. Goblin Troubles 4 Goblin troubles The goblins stopped just inside the edge of the clearing, clearly unsure of what to do. Once he spotted me, Geoff hurried over and explained the situation. ¡°They recognized me and followed when I waved them along, but I can''t communicate with them anymore; they don¡¯t understand zombie.¡± That made sense; I couldn''t understand Geoff before he fully converted to a zombie either, but that meant this group of goblins had followed a clearly messed up Geoff into the forest without even a word of assurance. I wasn''t sure if that was a sign of trust and faith or just stupidity and gullibility. Regardless, I did have the means to translate, or Lilith did anyway. ¡°Alright, Lilith can speak for us; lead the way. They seem to trust you still even though you are... dead, I guess.¡± Geoff seemed to have reached a similar conclusion, as he didn''t waste any time hurrying back to the group with me in tow. As soon as we entered easy earshot, Geoff launched into his sales pitch, apparently trying to move the discussion along before our zombification spooked the skittish goblins. ¡°I found us a safe place to shelter from the trolls. Rob here has promised to protect us and let us live in his dungeon in exchange for us taking minion oaths and joining the dungeon.¡± The groans and moans of Geoff''s speech put the goblins all on edge, but none of them fled. This was certainly a courageous lot despite their obvious terror. Desperation probably had a lot to do with it as well; they didn''t really have another option besides running, and that would likely just lead to more death as they stumbled on more monsters and animals they couldn''t handle. We waited for Lilith to translate using her weird universal monster language. She didn''t translate. ¡°Hey Lilith, this is where you tell the goblins what Geoff said." I hissed. ¡°Why should I?¡± Seriously? Did I manage to get the pain in the ass teenager of the dungeon world? ¡°This is what we agreed on; you need to explain the situation to them so we can convert them to zombies and minion them up.¡± ¡°Fine, listen up, you diseased monkeys. These two are going to bite you and turn you into zombies. Then you can come inside the dungeon to hide from the big bad trolls. Line up for biting.¡± ¡°Shit, that¡¯s not what I said! You¡¯ll scare them off!¡± Geoff finally sounded angry, and I didn''t blame him. ¡°What is your problem, Lilith? Why can''t you just cooperate?¡± I demanded. Unfortunately, Lilith''s declaration that we would be biting them, followed by our own agitated moans, was too much for the nervous goblins, and they scrambled to get away from the monsters. The one thing that saved the situation was that their own haste to get away caused them to trample and knock each other over. Geoff and I both realized there would be no convincing them to follow willingly after that display, and if they ran into the monster-infested woods, they would die in short order. So we went with the last option we had. We attacked. In total, Geoff had gathered seven goblins, three of which had been knocked down, and were still struggling to rise. I groan shouted at Geoff, ¡°You''re faster than me; I''ll get the ones on the ground; you get the runners.¡± That was all the direction Geoff needed, and he launched himself at the nearest goblin still standing. I pounced on one who had managed to climb back to their knees already. It wasn''t clear how the zombie infection worked. Geoff had turned after bleeding out, so I had no idea if death was a prerequisite for zombification or an inevitability once bitten. Unwilling to risk the chance that they could survive, I immediately went for the throat. The panicked goblin barely mounted a defense, and I quickly tore a massive chunk from its neck. Somehow I had truly become a monster; the fact that I was doing it for the goblins'' own good meant little, and my muted emotions fought to make themselves known. It was probable that I was able to do something like this, only because I was basically an unfeeling monster. No way human Rob could have torn the throat out of a living creature with his teeth. The feelings of disgust at myself, sadness at the situation, and rage at Lilith for forcing this all threatened to overwhelm me even through the wet blanket covering my feelings. I had no time to dwell though, and I grabbed the ankle of a second goblin as they tried to crawl away. The screams and blood filled my senses until everything became gnashing, scratching, and killing. If someone told me I had fallen into a feeding frenzy like a shark or something, it would not have surprised me. The next thing I remember was standing over a line of corpses as Geoff dragged another into the clearing. We were both covered in blood head to toe, but all seven goblins were accounted for. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 7 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 350 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 4 survival packs, 3 torches, 5 survival knives, 6 tattered blankets, 3 ragged tents, 1 low-quality hunting spear, 5 water skins, 2 iron cooking pans, 3 flint and steel, 1 damaged hatchet, 10 bundles of rations, 7 goblin corpses Wave duration: 1:12:53 Wave reward: 3 copper 17 tin Loot value: 2 copper 53 tin Convert loot to mana coins? I declined the conversion; I wasn''t going to lose so much gear just for a little bit of money again. The haul was fantastic, but I couldn''t appreciate it as I was still blind with rage at Lilith. ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you?¡± I demanded. Lilith didn''t answer. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m talking to you, you little shit! Look at what you caused! Seven innocent people died in pain and fear because of you!¡± Nothing. ¡°Fucking say something!¡± ¡°They aren''t people; they aren''t even animals; they''re just disgusting monsters.¡± That blew my mind. How the hell could she be that ignorant? ¡°Say something else; of course they are people. They think and feel¡ªtwo feats I¡¯m beginning to doubt you are capable of.¡± ¡°I get it, alright? I''m sorry, I didn''t think they would run like that.¡± ¡°Sorry? You¡¯re sorry? How does that make it better? You need to fix your shit personality in a fucking hurry.¡± ¡°It''s fine," Lilith''s defense came from an unexpected source. Geoff was slumped against a tree but had been listening and was now defending her, ¡°Well, it isn¡¯t fine. That was a bad way to die, and they are still going to panic when they wake back up... But what''s done is done. Now they can join the dungeon and be safe from the trolls... Believe it or not, that wasn''t half as bad as the troll raid.¡± That was indeed hard to believe. I couldn''t imagine much worse than being chased down and mauled by a pair of zombies, but then Geoff had mentioned the trolls laughing while they ate the goblin children in front of them, so there were some things worse. ¡°That still doesn''t excuse turning this into a nightmare like that." I pressed, but if Geoff had already moved on, there wasn''t much I could do besides make it known that Lilith was on my shit list.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Why was she acting like this? Goblins being unhygienic couldn''t be all there was to it. There had to be something else that made her treat monsters like crap. I didn''t get time to consider it because the first goblin had begun stirring. More unpalatable actions were necessary, as Geoff had predicted the goblins woke up thrashing. I held down the first to stir while they settled down enough for Geoff to explain the situation. Now that they were zombies, they could understand the moan and groan language without Lilith translating. Luck was on our side finally, as Geoff managed to calm the first new zombie goblin and explain most of the situation before the second woke. With the first zombie reluctantly recruited, we now had two pairs of hands to restrain the terrified goblins as they woke. The reawakening went about as smoothly as could be hoped for, and I examined the goblins while Geoff continued pacifying them. Name: Gina Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 2 Name: Gregory Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 2 Name: Gerald Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 1 Name: Gabriel Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 3 Name: Gabrielle Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 3 Name: Gary Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 2 Name: Gale Livingston Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 1 Well, they had all been successfully converted to zombies. A couple of them were level three, so it was fortunate they hadn''t decided to fight back and instead only tried to run. A few had been injured in the scuffle in ways that may cause issues in the future. The sample was small, and I hadn''t been a zombie for long, but judging by Geoff''s leg and what I understood of zombies, we wouldn¡¯t be healing injuries that we took before converting into zombie form. ¡°Hey, Geoff? Are they all family? The messages all show the same last name.¡± Geoff grunted, ¡°Yes, but that is the tribe name, not a family name. Most of us are cousins; Gerald is my brother, and Gabriel and Gabrielle are siblings as well.¡± ¡°Why the G names?¡± He just shrugged, ¡°Ask the ancestors." Fair enough, though if the G names had been going on long enough that Geoff referred to the originator as an ancestor rather than a great-grandparent or something, then the goblins either had an impressive register of names or else a lot of confusion during reunions as Gary seven and Gary twelve jockeyed for supremacy over the Garys. After some time calming the new zombies and detailing the situation over and over, Geoff finally managed to convince them to join the dungeon. One by one, they offered their oaths, and I returned my own. During the process, I received a couple of error messages each time I added a new minion. Error: Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions Error: Minion levels exceed allowed maximum for Cave tier dungeon I asked Lilith about the errors, and she answered without her usual thorny tone, possibly legitimately regretful for causing such a bloodbath. ¡°Any given room has an allowance of sorts for minion power. Right now at Dungeon level one and Cave tier, you can have two rooms, and each room is allowed up to level three worth of monsters. The boss room includes your level, so since you are level three, you won''t be allowed to add any minions to the boss room. The other room can have three level ones, a level one and a level two, or a level three. Once an invasion starts, minions will be teleported to their rooms; any minions who don''t have a room disappear until the invasion ends. Once the invasion starts, monsters can move from one room to another; they aren''t restricted to their starting room. Lastly, you can artificially boost the allowed level in a single room. I know how to do it because you have minions unlocked, but I don¡¯t know when you¡¯ll unlock the rooms necessary to actually accomplish the feat since that memory has been removed. You can double the level you¡¯re allowed to assign to a room by not assigning any monsters to two rooms with the same level allowance. So if you had four rooms with a level limit of three, you could leave two rooms empty, and the third room could have a level six minion inside.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I had more questions about how minions and levels worked, but I wasn''t about to press my luck when Lilith had only just started reflecting on her actions. Plus, my too much information headache had flared back up. For the time being, and if I understood Lilith correctly, I was able to assign minions up to level three in the first room. Then, during an invasion, I would start in the boss room and could quickly join them to fight off whatever invaders showed up. That left me with a tough decision. If I wanted to maximize the power, then I should pick one of the level threes and give them the spear. I only had one spear, so a level two and a level one at the same time wouldn¡¯t be much use. Geoff was the most reliable and up-to-date of the goblins, though, so it might be better to assign him and one of the level ones to help distract any invaders. Then I remembered I wasn''t alone; Geoff was far smarter than I imagined goblins could be; perhaps the rest had a similar intellect. Lilith might be helpful as well, or maybe not; who could tell with her? ¡°Hey everyone. I have a question for you.¡± I explained the situation, and the goblins all listened attentively. When I finished, they began discussing and muttering. Much head scratching and chin rubbing took place, and eventually, the goblins did come up with a couple of good ideas. Geoff spoke up first, ¡°Aren¡¯t you able to make things with the construction interface? Why not make more spears?¡± I was about to explain how I couldn¡¯t make something I hadn''t absorbed before when I realized I was wrong twice over. They had a spear I could absorb right there, but even before that, I should be able to make even better weapons with the iron and wood that I had absorbed. I received quite a bit of money from the wave event, so my earlier excuse was also invalid. With the practice from before, I was able to knock out a wooden weapon rack and a few options for weapons. Spears, knives, clubs, and even something resembling a poorly made sword. The second idea came from the youngest-looking goblin, Gale. ¡°What about a big rock to drop on their heads?¡± Again, on the surface that wouldn''t work, I wasn''t allowed to make traps yet, but I had considered something similar when finishing the current layout. How did the dungeon know what was a trap or not? The dark-as-hell narrow stairway didn¡¯t count. What if I made a narrow bridge across a pit? If it was a solid bridge, it wouldn''t be a trap, but it wouldn''t take much effort to knock someone off a narrow bridge. What about a highly flammable room and a torch? If nothing could trigger the torch to fall but instead a goblin zombie tossed it, then it wasn''t really a trap but more like an ambush using the environment. Where was the line? I groaned and held my head with both hands. I was about to go swimming through errors again, wasn''t I? Swim through errors I did. After about three hours of errors and enough frustration to give me an ulcer if I had a functional digestive system later, I had a new and improved dungeon I was pretty proud of. What exactly constituted a trap still eluded me, but my solution was still impressive. I didn''t want to make the first room larger. I liked the small footprint of the building on the surface and wanted to keep the possibility of hiding it open. In the end, I went with Gale''s suggestion in a more literal sense than I would have imagined. I put a big ass rock at the top of the room and wrapped it in ropes mounted to brackets. I hid the rock from view with a small, thin wall separating it from the stairwell. On the floor, the block pattern changed so the goblins could see the danger zone, and a ladder led to the ropes, where a goblin could cut the ropes, dropping the rock onto whoever happened to be in the wrong place. One of the major restrictions on traps had been trigger methods. All the traps that didn''t count as traps had to be manually triggered rather than using a tripwire, pressure plate, or something. I massively expanded the second room and made a bunch of furniture, effectively converting the boss chamber into a bunkhouse. When invasions started, the goblins would be put into some sort of stasis, but the rest of the time they were just living their unlife, and some comforts would be welcome. I built chairs, tables, beds, and cooking pits. I moved the weapon racks to the doorway between rooms so the goblins on duty could quickly retrieve something to fight with, and I also could grab something. I intended to have one goblin lure the invaders to the rock trap while another prepared to cut the ropes. Once the trap was sprung, I would join the fight as well, and the three of us would finish off whatever survived. That plan necessitated two minions, so I easily chose Geoff as the baitman. He had the most experience, and while the rest of the goblins weren''t stupid, Geoff was the smartest of the bunch. Gale volunteered as a trap springer, very proud of her ¡®drop a rock on them'' plan. It was hard to tell a goblin''s age, and they were zombies now, muddying the waters further, but Gale seemed very young, almost a child to my eyes. None of the other goblins objected though, and I wasn''t going to reject a volunteer; it was her idea, so trap springer she became. With the dungeon built and prepped, all goblins aware of their roles, and the light finally fading, we all moved into the bunk room to rest. Zombies apparently didn''t need sleep, but rest after such a mentally exhausting day seemed wise. The goblins all agreed and went about selecting their sleeping arrangements. All said and done, the renovations ended up costing quite a bit compared to the first time I built a room. I spent a bit extra to unlock materials for the ropes and beds as well, leaving me with only eighty-three tin. It turned out that one hundred tin made a copper, I suspected that would be the case for copper to silver, silver to gold, and so on. That meant one mithril coin was equivalent to ten billion tin. I needed to get me some of that sweet, sweet mithril. I tried my best not to think about the first room being built automatically because Geoff was too close when I put the crown on. That automatic building cost ten silver if I remembered correctly. That would be one hundred thousand tin. I tried hard not to think about that, or all the things I could have done with ten silver. The goblins quickly settled down into their bunks and closed their eyes, resting if not sleeping. I felt for the little guys. I might have had a rough time of it, dying and then being sent to this world as a zombie and then error-fighting all day, but they had their families wiped out in front of them. Then, as they finally found some sign of peace and safety, one of their own and some other random monster attacked them, once again killing their family right in front of them. I had made an oath to each of them when they turned into minions about protecting them and helping them grow, but I made another silent promise to myself as I lay down to rest. I''ll make a home for you and any monsters who need it. Somewhere safe from the insanity of this world. Something must have heard me then and took that as a challenge. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 5 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms 5. Trolls 5 Trolls The world blurred, and I found myself standing at the back of the second room rather than lying in my comfortable new bed. A quick look around confirmed all the goblins had vanished. They must have been placed in stasis as advertised, whatever being in stasis meant. I heard shouting and grunting from the other room and snapped into action. We had made a plan, but with no practice and the chaotic nature of life-and-death fights, there was no telling how far off the rails this would go. The only thing I was sure of was that it WOULD go off the rails. Gale came crashing through the door and stumbled over to the weapon rack. I tried to run over and offer some help but tripped and face-planted immediately. Gale looked over her shoulder at the noise, and zombie moaned at me, ¡°Quit playing around; the trolls are here; hurry up!¡± My pride took critical damage from being admonished by a little goblin girl. I wasn''t playing around; someone left some... What HAD I tripped on? The only things in the back of the room were a table and chairs, but I wasn''t anywhere near them. I glanced back and saw a chest. I definitely hadn''t made any chests, although I should. The goblins would have clothes and tools and all sorts of things that would need organizing. Why was there a chest in the middle of the walkway? Gale had snatched up a couple of weapons and scurried back to the other room, apparently giving up on me. Shouting and grunting from that room made me decide to leave the chest for later, and I hurried to join the fight. As I passed the weapon rack, I chose one of the longer spears to take with me. I hadn''t seen one of the trolls yet, but the descriptions had instilled some caution in me. There was no way I wanted to get in close to fight one of those things. I froze when I entered the first room. The descriptions the goblins had given me of the trolls were worrying¡ªgiants of muscle with huge mouths filled with oversized crushing teeth, they had said. It wasn''t like I didn''t believe the descriptions, but the goblins were small and weak creatures; anything would look giant from their point of view. Well, they had understated it. The trolls were easily eight feet tall and five feet wide. Their skin was somewhere between green and brown, the smaller ones being more green and the largest being a dark brown. Their mouths were indeed unnervingly large; they split their faces from behind where their ears would be if they had human features like ears, and the teeth looked like yellow bricks. Sickly-looking tufts of hair or fur sprouted randomly across their bodies, but their heads were bald. And the muscles¡ªI would be surprised if they had any fat on their bodies whatsoever; they looked like bodybuilding gorillas with mange. The preparations we had made suddenly seemed woefully inadequate. What was this flimsy excuse for a spear going to do to those things? Despite my ¡®playing around'' earlier, the trolls had yet to make it to the ground floor. They seemed more interested in screaming and roaring down at Geoff, who stood shakily with a sword in hand. Geoff didn''t make a sound, obviously terrified, but neither did he retreat. As Shaky as he was, he stood his ground and stared down the monsters. I was impressed. I heard a shuffling and turned to see Gale quickly climbing the ladder to her own post. Again, I had to raise my estimation of the tiny goblin; she was the most calm and collected of us and had jumped straight into action when the invasion started. The trolls seemed to also have noticed Gale, and they redoubled their howling and wailing. In their excitement, they seemed to give up descending the narrow stairs, instead jumping down. The fall didn''t seem to phase them when they landed properly, but one of the smaller ones closest to the edge had fallen badly when another troll pushed it out of the way to jump quicker. The smaller troll landed on its head, and a sickening crack filled the room, then the larger trolls landed on the fallen one, crushing it underfoot. Two of the trolls slipped in the resulting gore, and while no other trolls fell or were injured, the unfortunate victim ended up crushed and splattered, split literally in half. With the trolls closer, I managed to pull up the information windows. Name: Travis Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 5 Name: Tyler Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 7 Name: Tessa Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 6 Name: Terry Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 4 Name: Tony Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 8 Name: Terrence Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 4 Again, with the names all starting with the same letter: T names for trolls and G names for goblins. Surely that couldn¡¯t be a coincidence. Then I noticed something wrong; there were six windows. Not only did the fallen troll named Terry have a window still, even though he should be dead, but his lower half also had a window and was apparently named Terrence. As soon as I noticed that, both halves of the troll started writhing. I watched in fascinated horror as the top half sprouted tiny legs, which rapidly began growing, and the lower half grew a head and shoulders from its mangled wound. Bones shifted and popped back into their proper places, and before they even finished regenerating, both troll halves started to stand back up. How the hell were you supposed to kill something when crushing it in half didn¡¯t do the trick? The fight had just gone from four on three to six on three. We were screwed. The trolls charged at Geoff, who still stood firm, and then I noticed that his firm stance might not be courage so much as a deer-in-the-headlights reaction. He was completely locked into place, eyes wide and an inadequate sword vibrating; he was shaking so much. I heard a snap and remembered the plan. Gale was definitely the most reliable of us, and that snap could only mean that a multi-ton rock was now in free-fall over our heads. I quickly looked to the floor for the blocks that indicated the danger zone. Unfortunately, the troll blood had spread so much I couldn''t see the floor properly. I did know enough about Earth''s gravity to know that something as high as that rock would take no more than a second to fall the whole way to the floor. Maybe this world had the same gravity, maybe not, but one second was both a long time and no time at all when in battle. I grabbed Geoff¡¯s arm and dove away from the trolls toward the boss room. Before I even landed, I was deafened by a crash behind me. I still didn''t know anything about geology and had no idea what kind of rock I had strung up to the ceiling, but whatever kind, it was shattered when it struck the ground. Tiny pieces of rock pelted me in the back as Geoff and I landed. I thanked my lucky stars that we managed to clear the landing area and that none of the debris managed to crush us. Dust clouded the room and blocked my vision. Again, I counted myself lucky since I didn''t have to breathe; rock dust in the lungs wouldn''t be comfortable. I didn''t dare hope that we had won. When the earlier invasions finished, messages had immediately popped up calculating rewards, but no such message had appeared, and after seeing the Terry Terrence situation, I worried we might be facing a very serious problem.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it Finally, the dust settled enough to see the carnage, and carnage was the best word for it. Chunks of troll were smeared halfway up the walls. A couple of the trolls seemed to be mostly whole, probably not in the direct path of the trap; instead, they must have been struck by debris as they were knocked out, bleeding from sickening dents in their heads. Gale landed softly on the ground, having spent the time descending the ladder after dropping the meteor of death on the trolls. ¡°Did we win?¡± she asked softly. ¡°Not yet; the invasion isn¡¯t over; we need to figure out how to kill them before they get back up,¡± I numbly answered; apparently Geoff wasn''t the only one in some kind of shock. The goblin in question finally gathered himself enough to add to the conversation, ¡°How do we kill them? Even that one that got cut in half didn¡¯t die.¡± I didn''t have any answers. In video games, trolls were often an enemy, as well as in fiction. Trolls were always described as having insane regenerative capability, though being reborn from being cut in half seemed a step above even that. Their weaknesses varied from story to story and game to game, from things like fire and acid to sunlight to magic in general. We had none of that though, with the possible exception of the torches, but they would definitely not be enough, especially if they regenerated as fast as Terry had. In the best-case scenario, the chunks were too small to regrow, and the only trolls we had to worry about were the two unconscious ones, but even those would be awake soon. I could see the caved-in skulls and broken limbs of the trolls start to shift even as we spoke. Lilith gave her suggestion, ¡°What about zombifying them?¡± I blew out a breath, "That... might work, or it might be a suicidally stupid idea.¡± When Geoff had been zombified, he had died, so the invasion ended, but only for a moment before a second invasion was triggered. If the two trolls became zombies and then decided to continue their rampage, we might only be making them tougher and smarter. Then it was also possible that turning them into zombies might cripple their regeneration. The possibilities were infinite, and we had no way of knowing if the result would be good or bad. ¡°Do we have another choice? They are about to wake up.¡± Gale stated. She didn''t sound afraid like Geoff; instead, she clutched the knife she used to cut the rope and glared at the trolls as if she would fight them off herself if only given the word. ¡°I don''t suppose we do; we might be able to come up with a better solution, but not in time.¡± I grimaced. We were about to take a big risk, but Gale had the right of it; we had to do something and zombification was our only immediate solution. Geoff gathered himself and stood, brushed himself off, and nodded. ¡°I''ll do it; be ready if something goes wrong.¡± I wasn''t sure what he expected us to do; we had just decided there wasn''t much we could do, and that was why we resorted to this desperate play in the first place, but I didn¡¯t say that. Geoff seemed to be trying to salvage some dignity after freezing up in fear earlier. I wanted to tell Gale to look away as Geoff bit into the trolls'' necks, but the look of stoic determination on her face made me stop. Seriously, how was this tiny girl the most capable of us? If she had found the crown rather than me, it would only have been a matter of time before the new goblin dungeon was tier eleven. Geoff did the deed and scampered back to join us as we held our breath, watching to see what would happen. The bite wounds sealed up almost immediately, and I worried that the regeneration would defeat the zombie infection. I was reminded of my earlier question of whether the zombification required the target to die or it caused them to die. My answer came in a gruesome way. The wounds on the trolls all finished healing, but they stopped stirring. I briefly hoped that they would just quietly die like that, but that didn''t happen. The trolls were completely motionless until their eyes suddenly snapped open and their giant mouths opened in a silent scream. Their oversized muscles bulged, and veins swelled nearly to bursting on their necks. Black bile flowed slowly like tar from their noses and the corners of their mouths, and then it was suddenly over. The trolls collapsed again, but their muscles and veins didn''t seem to realize they were supposed to relax, instead remaining swollen and strained. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 6 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 22 Damage dealt: 600 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: A disturbing quantity of smeared troll, 2 troll corpses Invasion duration: 2:37 Invasion reward: 5 copper 17 tin Loot value: 73 tin Convert loot to mana coins? I quickly confirmed, hoping to convert the troll corpses before they could zombify, since I had no way to confirm if they would be hostile or not. Sadly, the ¡®Disturbing quantity of smeared troll'' took quite a while to convert, and the trolls began to move once more before even half of the mess had disintegrated. Error: loot marked for conversion no longer available Total reward for invasion: 5 copper 53 tin Error: Dungeon cannot reopen during invasion Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 2 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion The trolls'' bodies didn''t seem like they would be relaxing any time soon, and their taut muscles seemed to slow their movements, but the two managed to climb to their feet in short order. I took another look to see what we were dealing with. Name: Tessa Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Troll Zombie Level: 6 Name: Terry Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Troll Zombie Level: 4 Seems like Terry continued to refuse to die properly. I couldn''t look back to old messages, but looking at the unaffiliated tag tickled my memory. They had been something different before; I was sure of it. At the time I had been more concerned with there being too many of them, and Terry growing a new pair of legs to focus on it, but they had an affiliation before dying. Tessa spoke first, her zombie speak was something between the troll screaming and regular zombie moaning. The result was something like a pained wail, but I understood it all the same. ¡°What happened, where am I?¡± Terry followed that with a wail of his own. Half of that wail seemed to be the troll zombie language the other seemed to be a genuine wail of despair. ¡°Momma?!?! I don''t feel good! Momma!¡± Tessa scooped up the wailing Terry and started to make soft shushing noises, ¡°Shhh baby, it''s alright momma''s here.¡± What the hell was happening? I decided to voice my question aloud but Gale beat me to it. ¡°Momma? Are you this troll¡¯s mother?¡± Tessa seemed to notice us for the first time and looked down¡­ way down at the tiny goblin, who definitely didn''t have any self-preservation instincts. ¡°This is my baby, Terry. Say hello, Terry." The oversized baby troll looked down at Gale as well and sniffed, ¡°Hello, I''m Terry. What''s your name?¡± We all just blinked in confusion. Seriously, what the hell was happening? Geoff didn''t lose his memories when he turned zombie, but these two didn''t seem to have any idea they were in a dungeon and that we had been killing each other moments before. Tessa broke the silence, ¡°It''s polite to introduce yourself when meeting someone new little one.¡± She had the air of a mother as she gently scolded Gale. Gale didn''t seem to comprehend her words but answered automatically anyway, ¡°I¡¯m Gale, a Dungeon minion. Nice to meet you, Terry.¡± Tessa''s eyes widened, and she quickly looked around; fortunately, all the bloody mess of her troll friends had been converted before she woke up fully. ¡°A dungeon minion? Are we in a dungeon? I''m sorry, little one; I''m afraid I don''t remember much. I feel like I¡¯ve been asleep for a long time.¡± I took that as my cue to join in. I did need to either recruit or kill these two after all... That made me consider the invasion messages for a moment; they mentioned invaders retreating, but that should be impossible when the door is locked. Something to ask Lilith about when I didn''t have incredibly dangerous amnesiac trolls in front of me. ¡°Ah yes, this is my dungeon. Hello, by the way, I''m Rob.¡± Tessa blew through her oversized lips, perhaps trying to whistle, before answering, ¡°I¡¯m Tessa, and this is my baby boy, Terry. Good to meet you. I¡¯ve never seen a dungeon before. Why is there so much rock and dust everywhere? You really should keep your home clean, young man.¡± I didn''t really have a way to answer that, not without explaining that the rock had been the weapon used to splatter what was almost definitely more of her family. I tried changing the topic instead, ¡°Right, sorry about the mess; I wasn''t expecting visitors... So you don''t remember anything?¡± Tessa seemed to slump, ¡°It''s all a blur; I don''t even know how much I missed... How did I get here anyway?¡± ¡°That is... a long story, but... more importantly, we have a little bit of a problem.¡± I really couldn''t figure out a good way to frame the situation, so I just clenched my fists and blew through it all at once, hoping for the best. ¡°You and some other trolls attacked the dungeon while you were... sleepwalking or whatever that was. We fought off the rest, but we had to turn you and Terry into zombies to wake you up. Now the only way to open the locked dungeon door is for you to join the dungeon as minions.¡± Tessa and Terry both gaped at me. I quickly added the good news, ¡°Dungeon minions get to live in the dungeon; I can make you a comfortable home. Not to mention Dungeon minions can''t die, so you and Terry would be immortal as long as you protect the dungeon.¡± That didn''t seem to snap them out of their stupor, unfortunately. I waited for a minute before giving up and waving a hand in front of Tessa''s face. ¡°Hello?¡± She blinked and winched her terrifyingly large mouth back closed before clearing her throat and cutting right to the heart of the matter, "You... turned my baby into a zombie?¡± She looked down at Terry, still cradled in her arms. I was now incredibly grateful for the troll regeneration, closing the wounds before they turned. Normally zombification made someone paler than they were in life, and they retained the wound that killed them. The trolls had healed the wounds, and their muscles and blood vessels swelled with pressure and tension. The tension had the side effect of darkening the skin, so other than muscles being tighter than usual, the trolls didn''t really have any signs of zombification. I was also now fully convinced of a suspicion I had since meeting Geoff. Ordinary monsters didn''t get the messages like I did when examining each other, which meant Tessa couldn''t see that Terry''s race had changed to Troll Zombie. I nervously answered, "Yeah, it was the only way to bring you both back to your senses. BUT now you won''t get hungry and don''t have to breathe, and if you join the dungeon, Terry won''t be able to die unless the dungeon is destroyed.¡± I kept pushing the idea of joining. Now that the trolls had regained their strength and our rock trap had been spent, I suspected we wouldn''t stand a chance in a fight even if their regeneration didn''t work anymore, and I had no evidence one way or the other on that. Tessa was quiet for a long while apparently chewing over the idea. Terry finally came to my rescue, ¡°I wanna be a dungeon monster momma.¡± Thank you, Terry, you beautiful bastard. Tessa still hesitated, but after looking at Terry and seeing the hopeful look in his eyes, she caved. ¡°Fine, fine, how does this work?¡± New minion added Minion details: Name: Tessa Classification: Dungeon #32476 Monster Race: Troll Zombie Level: 6 Pay rate: 5 tin per day, 10 tin per slain invader Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions New minion added Minion details: Name: Terry Classification: Dungeon #32476 Monster Race: Troll Zombie Level: 4 Pay rate: 3 tin per day, 6 tin per slain invader Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 0 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: none Invasion duration: 12:01 Invasion reward: 4 tin Loot value: 0 tin No loot to convert Total reward for invasion: 4 tin 6. Semi-pro Tagonist I 6 Semi-pro Tagonist I Hiro woke with a start. Classing day was here; after a glance out the window, he amended that thought. Classing day was almost here. Life on the farm wasn''t bad; the early mornings were all that he had ever known and had been normal for Hiro. Ever since he was old enough to walk and his father had taught him to tend the farm, it was his job to wake up before the sun and feed the livestock. Chores were a fact of life, and since Hiro''s chores came in the mornings and evenings, his days had been mostly lazy. Today that would all change... maybe. Classing day had Hiro unable to sleep properly all night, but now the horizon had started to change color. It was basically dawn and a new day. That was enough for Hiro, and he bolted from his bed and threw on some work clothes. Many of the animals complained about being awoken earlier than usual, but their calls and snorts quickly stopped when they caught sight of Hiro or the scent of feed. The morning chores were done in record time, and Hiro paused a moment to reflect on the fact that this might be the last time he did this. A sudden feeling of melancholy cut through his excitement. He didn''t enjoy life and work on the farm; like most kids his age, he dreamed of adventure, but he also didn''t hate the farm, especially the animals who he made friends with despite being warned off getting too attached. ¡°Well, you''re up early; decided to help me plow the north field this time?¡± Hiro''s father, Jeremiah, spoke from the door to their overly large house. Hiro got along with his father, unlike some of the other kids his age who were turning into adults today, but this time the familiar gravelly voice sent ice through Hiro''s blood. He slowly turned to see the smiling man. Jeremiah was larger than most men, barely fitting in the doorway in each direction. Farm life had tanned him to the point of looking like a walking, talking piece of jerky. Briefly, Hiro wondered if he too would look like that if he classed as a farmer. Jeremiah snorted with laughter, ¡°I¡¯m only joking; I know what day it is. You should see your face; you look like I asked you to challenge the Royal Gauntlet Dungeon armed with only a spoon.¡± Hiro let out a nervous chuckle. There wasn''t much to help with when plowing a field, but if Jeremiah demanded the assistance, Hiro would be last to the town center, which meant his name would be last read out when the test finished. ¡°Go, go, it''s only barely morning, but standing around while they set up might help you remember rushing into things is¡­¡± Hiro couldn''t wait any longer, "Ok, thanks. I''ll see you after the party. Love you, Dad, bye.¡± Jeremiah just sighed and shook his head as he watched his boy, now an adult man, sprinting for town. The dead sprint lasted only a short while as Hiro ran out of breath. He knew he couldn''t run all the way to town, but putting distance between himself and any potential chores could only be a good thing. The ¡®Town'' was only just bigger than a village and served as a way station between the capital city and the frontier towns. Hiro and his father made just as much money renting rooms cheaply to adventurers passing through as they had selling produce. The sun continued to rise and burn off the morning dew, sending the farmland and unworked fields shimmering with reflected light. The sight brought to mind the Tailor¡¯s daughter and how nice it would be to walk with her on a morning like this. That was the main problem with being a farmer, Hiro considered; it took a major part of the morning to walk to town, so he already missed more social time than he wanted. That would only get worse if he Classed as a farmer and had to spend time working his own fields. Finally, Hiro made it to town and angled his route toward the Tailor''s. If he was to be a farmer in truth after today, then he would spend his last free day with Dianne. When he arrived, he saw Henry Tailor, Dianne''s father, sitting on his rocking chair in front of their shop. Henry was a delicate-looking man; it was clear he spent his days inside, as his skin was as unblemished and pale as a noble¡¯s. The only sign that he worked for a living was the calloused fingers that might have even been rougher than Hiro''s farm-toughened hands. Like most people in town, their home and shop were in the same building, so the only sign that this was a business was the... sign. Above the door, a large sign displaying a pair of scissors cutting a bolt of fabric, gently swayed in the breeze. Most town folk couldn¡¯t read and needed signs with pictures instead. The Tailors were among those without their letters, while Hiro had been taught by his father when he was young. Hiro was immensely grateful to his father for that, because it meant he had at least a thin excuse to come calling. All the letters and orders from various merchants had to be read, so Hiro volunteered to read the Tailor''s mail to them. Everyone involved knew it was just an excuse to see Dianne, but no one usually pointed that fact out. ¡°Hiro, sad to say the postman isn''t due for another two days. I don''t suppose there is any work for you here today.¡± Henry teased with a smirk. ¡°Good morning, Mr. Tailor, has Dianne left yet? I was hoping to walk her to the Classing.¡± ¡°Oh my, is that today? Well, I¡¯m afraid Dianne is just a little girl; it can''t be time for her Classing yet.¡± The door to the shop/home swung open, and a vision of beauty appeared. ¡°Leave the poor boy alone,¡± Dianne''s mother, Jasmine, chided her husband, but a mischievous glint in her eye gave away her intention to join the teasing, ¡°This could be our future son-in-law; it wouldn¡¯t do to drive him off.¡± Hiro''s face began to burn, and he fumbled for a response; fortunately, he was saved by Dianne as she too appeared in the doorway, pushing past her mother. Dianne looked like a younger Jasmine; they both had deep black hair halfway down their backs that shone in the morning light; both had the same dark skin that reminded Hiro of the expensive coffee drink that people sometimes drank in the Adventurers¡¯ Guild; and they both had the same ever-present glint in their striking green eyes, like they knew a joke he didn¡¯t, and they could barely hold in their laughter while they thought of it. ¡°Both of you stop; I''m an adult now, and Hiro and me are going to the Classing, maybe I will come back after the party to say goodbye before we set off clearing dungeons.¡± Dianne punctuated her words by grabbing Hiro''s arm and pulling him along the road away from her laughing parents at a run. Hiro''s face continued to do its best impression of a fire crystal, and he worried he might accidentally ignite his straw hat. Like Hiro''s earlier escape from his own father, they quickly put as much distance behind them as they could. Once they made their way out of reasonable pursuit range, Dianne slowed to a walk. When she finally spoke, she sounded as thoughtful as he felt, ¡°Are you ready for this?¡± Hiro thought about that before answering, ¡°Does it matter? It''s happening whether we are ready or not.¡± She grimaced at that, "Yeah, it really is. You know¡­ if one of us gets a special class but the other gets a normal one¡­ we could still adventure together.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± A Class decided the course of a person''s future. Many people didn''t like their Class, but a Class was a Class, it defined your future for better or worse. The Classings of the distant past had been done quickly and quietly for decades. Until one day one of the nobles discovered that if they surrounded the Classing in a coming-of-age party and supplied a copious amount of alcohol to the newly christened adults, then they had a drastic reduction in bad reactions. Before the change, when people got a class they couldn¡¯t handle, many went into a depressive spiral, and terrible things happened. It still happened sometimes, but with the initial blow softened by friends, family, booze, and a generally celebratory atmosphere, the extreme cases had been reduced. Dianne was talking like someone who would not be able to handle having their hopes crushed, and that could be dangerous. She stopped and turned to Hiro, looking directly into his eyes. The weight of that gaze pressed into Hiro, and he almost missed her next words. ¡°If I get adventurer and you get farmer or something, you can still come with me on adventures; I''ll protect you.¡± "I... I don''t... but..." Hiro stumbled over his words; his brain wasn''t working properly. What was she saying? She wanted him to ignore his Class and run away with her? What if she didn''t get an adventurer Class either? It was most common to receive one of the Classes from one¡¯s parents; sometimes people got a Class different from either parent, but usually they still received a normal class. Last year Conner had expected to be a farmer like his parents but instead got the Smith Class; now Connor Smith was learning his new trade at the Smith''s in town.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. Rare was the person born to normal Classed parents who not only broke from their parents¡¯ Classes but also received a rare adventurer Class. Dianne seemed convinced she would do just that. Hiro decided he would do his best to comfort her when she was disappointed. Then he tried not to look forward to comforting her. Finally, he managed a coherent response: ¡°Whatever we get, we can work it out.¡± Dianne seemed dissatisfied with that but didn''t press and pulled him along to the town center. Contrary to what his father may have said, they were not the first to arrive, and they joined the line of children. The line was moving quickly, and Hiro was taller than most, so he got a look at the proceedings. People from all the nearby villages had brought their children of Classing age. Once a year, nobles from the capital went to each town and performed the Classing, and the people outside of town would have to make the trip to the nearest Classing to have their children Classed. As they waited, the servants and performers that the nobles brought with them offered treats and sang songs, or juggled. Hiro saw one man breathing fire as a scantily clad woman dodged the gouts of flame with graceful dance steps. As each person reached the desk that had been placed in the town square for the purpose, they spoke quietly with the noble in extravagant robes. Hiro was too far away but had watched the proceedings in prior years, so he knew that the noble was giving a speech, after which the person being Classed would cut their hand with an ornate dagger and bleed onto a crystal for a moment. The crystal would flash, signaling the process was done, and a nearby nurse would wrap the wound. Then it was off to the party. Dianne had started confident and assertive pulling Hiro along, but as the line moved forward and their turn approached, she seemed to be taking more and more time to fill the gap in front of her, fidgeting nervously and shifting from one foot to the other. Hiro had finally calmed down somewhat, and the sight of Dianne getting nervous bolstered his confidence. Feeling more like himself, Hiro found the courage to tease back a bit, ¡°HEY,¡± he shout whispered in Dianne''s ear, which made her jump, ¡°You''re fidgeting; didn''t you go to the privy before we left?¡± She glared daggers at him for a moment before the line moved again. She leaned around, trying to see how much farther they had to go, but there was a crowd of spectators now. ¡°Seven more people,¡± Hiro offered with a chuckle. Dianne''s eyes widened in something that looked like fear, which made Hiro regret his teasing. ¡°Y¡­ You go first!" Without giving Hiro time to argue, she pushed him forward into her place. This was seriously not like Dianne; she was always the confident, loud, boisterous one. Maybe she wasn''t as sure of being Classed as an adventurer as she let on. That thought put the previous conversation into a different perspective for Hiro. Rather than trying to convince Hiro to go against his Class and join her if she was an adventurer, she might have been priming Hiro for the opposite situation. If Hiro became an adventurer and Dianne didn''t, she would most definitely want to join him rather than stay in this town. Hiro couldn''t say he would turn her away. Dangerous or not, he would take Dianne with him on his adventures and protect her if she asked him to. And then it was his turn. ¡°Hello, I am Melinda Solomon. What is your name?¡± Nobles didn''t use their Class as their second name like most people; instead, they used a family name, and the Solomon family was well known. Derrick Solomon was Duke of these lands, and everyone for miles and miles around served the Solomon family, even if indirectly through other noble families. ¡°Ah.. um... I¡¯m Hiro.¡± Melinda smiled gently, not at all like the condescending nobles of the stories. ¡°Hello Hiro, This is your sixteenth summer, correct?¡± Hiro just nodded. ¡°Great, then you are ready for a Class. I will ask you to cut your hand and bleed onto this Class Crystal until it flashes. Then you can join your friends partying. Once we are through with everyone, then we will announce everyone¡®s results. Tomorrow you should seek out a mentor of the same Class. Most people¡¯s parents or family friends will have the correct Class. If the Class is uncommon, there are several people from the capital in town who can mentor you. Now please offer some blood to the crystal.¡± Hiro''s hands wouldn''t stop shaking, but the nobles were prepared for that, and Hiro had seen several people with the same issue, so he didn''t jump when a woman in a guard uniform snatched his hand and quickly cut it with the dagger. The movement was so fast, Hiro couldn''t process it before the sharp pain hit and he gasped. When he looked down, he saw Melinda was already holding the crystal under Hiro''s clenched hand, catching the blood. Once his mind caught up, he opened his hand to let the blood flow more freely. The blood didn''t seem to hit the crystal, instead falling into it as if it wasn''t really there. When the red droplets reached the center, they stopped and hovered. Once enough blood had collected, the crystal flashed, and the red hovering in the center was gone. Someone pushed him to the side, and his hand was quickly wrapped in a bandage. The entire process had flown by, and before he knew it, Hiro was at one of the snack tables with a plate. When Dianne finished her Classing she had moved off to join some of the older kids from the last few years. No, they were adults. Once your result was read, you were considered an adult, so Hiro, Dianne, and all the other kids would join those from the last couple of years as adults in a short while. As Hiro watched, Dianne ignored the rule of no drinking until you were officially an adult. No one enforced that rule, but even if they did, she likely wouldn''t care. He tried not to feel abandoned; they were close to a certain point, and Hiro could admit that he had a serious crush on Dianne, but the way she had talked that morning made it feel like she might reciprocate. Hiro piled his plate high with expensive-looking food to take his mind off things. The nobles supplied the food for Classing Day, so the whole town feasted for free once a year on food the simple folk of the towns could never hope to match. Most of the food either had names Hiro couldn''t pronounce or wouldn¡¯t try to for fear of embarrassing himself. Nobles were only matched in wealth by the top adventurers, which was just another reason to hope for an adventurer Class. Finally, Melinda stood on the platform at one end of the town square so everyone could see and raised a hand. The same woman guard who had cut his hand pulled out some sort of device and held it up. A loud crack sounded, and the crowd went quiet, focusing on Melinda. ¡°Thank you everyone. It''s been another great year, and the Solomon family would like to show our gratitude for your continued loyalty and hard work. To that end, we have brought a dozen kegs of Hilshore Red.¡± Hiro had heard of Hilshore; they made wine so expensive that this town might get a reject barrel under a subsidiary company called HS Wines, maybe once a year for sale in the Adventurer Guild. A cheer from the crowd was quickly hushed, and Melinda continued, ¡°I will now read the list of our new Classers in the order they received their Class, and we have a few interesting results! Kenneth, Farmer Sandra, Farmer Michael, Smith ¡­¡± People cheered, and the list went on for a few minutes, with each person named downing a mug of something strong in celebration or consolation, whichever was appropriate, before Hiro heard his name. ¡°Hiro, Semi-pro tagonist¡± Hiro blinked¡­ a what? What was a tagonist? And what was semi-pro? He knew pro was short for professional, and every Class more or less described what you would do as a profession, so the pro part was sort of implied. Before he could consider it too deeply, a mug of something that curled his nose hairs was thrust into his hand by someone. He downed it, and the curling moved from his nose to his entire body. What the hell was in that? ¡°Dianne, Tagonist" Tagonist again. What the hell was a tagonist? Hiro looked around through watery eyes and found the girl in question. He couldn''t tell if she was happy or disappointed, because at some point she had drunk herself into a stumbling stupor. As he watched, Dianne stumbled over to him and slurred something that he couldn''t understand. ¡°shhhay y¡­ yeu gosh zeee hame shing.. me? I? me ded¡­ whhhh¡­ at iz she eal wit at" Hiro coughed through the burning in his own throat to answer, ¡°I have no idea what you are saying, Dianne... Maybe we should get you home.¡± Dianne¡¯s friend, who was shadowing her, presumably to make sure she didn''t hurt herself, gave a grateful nod and disappeared back into the party as the list reading continued to the crowd¡¯s cheering. Well, the suggestion had been taken as volunteering, so now he was stuck with her. He pulled Dianne''s limp arm across his shoulders and helped her back to the Tailor''s. As they broke from the crowd, another guard in the same uniform as the dagger-wielding one spotted them and approached. Hiro assumed it was the Solomon Guard uniform and they would all match. ¡°Mr. Semi-pro Tagonist? Ah good, I see you also have Ms. Tagonist with you. I need to speak with you for a moment.¡± It felt weird being called by his new last name, and only partially because it had way too many syllables. The man continued, unaware of the discomfort and uncaring of the mostly unconscious girl, making it hard to stand and have a conversation. ¡°We don''t have records of your classes. That happens sometimes, and it''s nothing to worry about, but both classes have tripped the warning for special classes. That, and the fact that both of your classes seem to be connected or at least similar, has prompted Ms. Solomon to invite you to the capital where we can look into the records and see if we can find someone to mentor you.¡± He paused and seemed to wait for a response, so Hiro offered the only one he could come up with, ¡°Okay?¡± ¡°Great, tomorrow your peers will be starting their mentorship so you can rest and relax, but the next day if you would meet the caravan at the west entrance to the town at sunrise, we can travel to the capital.¡± Hiro blinked at the man in confusion and tried to think of something to say, but before he could, the man nodded once and vanished into the crowd back toward his charge. Hiro didn''t really know what to do, and Dianne had now fully passed out, becoming dead weight, so he decided to take the problem to the Tailor¡¯s. When he arrived, Henry and Jasmine were both outside, waiting as if they knew something like this would happen. With a sigh, Henry hurried over and took Dianne from Hiro, which Hiro was grateful for; she had been getting heavier and heavier with each step. As Henry carried his daughter into the house, Jasmine asked the question, ¡°So what did she get? Tailor?¡± ¡°I uh¡­ I don¡¯t know exactly... We both got some variation on something called a tagonist, but I¡¯ve never heard of that before. Do you know what it is?¡± Jasmine looked surprised before shaking her head, "No, I¡¯ve never heard of a tagonist. We just knew she would be upset and would overindulge when she didn''t get what she wanted, but we assumed she would get tailor like both of us.¡± Hiro added the bit about being stopped and told to report to the capital; as he did, he could see the confusion and concern on Jasmine¡¯s face morph into worry and despair. Once he had finished, she only nodded and went inside, closing the door quietly. Hiro spent the time walking home pondering Jasmine''s reaction. Dianne had been hopeful, maybe even expectant, that she would receive an adventurer Class and leave the town. Her parents, and everyone else too, for that matter, had been expecting that she would receive Tailor or something else normal. It seemed that Dianne wasn''t the only one who was unprepared for their expectations to be crushed. At least his hopes that he and Dianne wouldn''t be separated had come true. Now he had to tell his dad he would be leaving for the capital; maybe he knew what a tagonist was. 7. Settling in 7 Settling in Once the trolls were added to the dungeon and the invasion had ended in earnest, the goblins in stasis all reappeared in their beds completely undisturbed. I quickly added a pair of beds for Tessa and Terry, which they both gushed over, having only slept in caves on the ground or nests of crudely skinned animal hides. The growing zombie horde settled down into something resembling sleep, and I stepped outside to interrogate Lilith. ¡°I have a few questions.¡± ¡°Right, do this in the construction interface so we can be completely sure no one listens.¡± That was a good idea; the construction interface stopped time so no one could hear me ¡®talk'' even though it was in zombie moans¡ªno one except Lilith. I promptly complied. ¡°First, that suggestion was a good one; keep making those, please.¡± I waited a moment, but Lilith didn''t respond. "Second, why did you suggest turning the trolls into zombies?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± She sounded truly confused at the question. ¡°I mean, I had to all but force you to allow the goblins to join the dungeon, but you brought up the trolls turning to zombies and joining on your own. Why do you hate the goblins but not trolls?¡± I waited through the silence that followed; we had all the time in the world after all. Finally, Lilith answered, ¡°I don''t know. It''s strange¡­ Goblins disgust me, even now. I know you are trying to help them, and I agree with your reasons, but... I can''t help but hate them.¡± ¡°Before you said it was because they weren''t clean, but the trolls seem, um, less hygienic.¡± ¡°I know alright, I know that... but I can''t explain it. Goblins just disgust me.¡± I would shrug if I had shoulders in the construction mode; this might end up being a problem in the future, but at least everyone was aware of it, and we could deal with it when the problem was higher on the urgency list. Time to shelve that. ¡°Fine, what about this vanishing chest problem?¡± ¡°Vanishing what now?¡± ¡°The vanishing chest. During the invasion, there was a chest in the bunk room, but when I went to add the trolls¡¯ beds, there was no chest.¡± ¡°Do you mean the boss chest?¡± ¡°¡­ maybe? What¡¯s a boss chest?¡± ¡°Ahh, yeah, you wouldn''t know. If there is no chest designated as the boss chest in the boss room or a treasure room, then one is created when an invasion starts. If an invader opens the chest, the invasion is lost. The invasion is only lost when the chest is opened or the boss falls. Loot for the chest is randomly created based on the value of the dungeon, and if it is taken, then you lose the value of the item in mana coins.¡± "Wait... so I would die if a troll took whatever was in that chest?¡± ¡°No, you would lose the invasion and be on the hook for whatever was in the chest. It might be a way to safely lose invasions without dying and losing the crown.¡± ¡°How many mana coins are we talking about? What if I don''t have enough?¡± ¡°That is listed in the dungeon stat window; I told you before about that; take a look yourself at the bottom of your vision." Sure enough, there were small numbers at the bottom of my vision that I hadn''t paid attention to yet. As I looked, they expanded into a window. Dungeon Stats Floors: 1/1 Rooms: 2/2 Maximum boss level: 3/2 Maximum minion level: 3/1 Invasions defeated: 4 Dungeon name: Dungeon #32476 Dungeon type: Undead Dungeon level: 1 Dungeon tier: cave Dungeon danger rank: 30213 Dungeon popularity rank: n/a Boss chest projected value: 3 silver ¡°Right¡­ So what happens if they loot the boss chest and I can''t afford the mana coins?¡± ¡°The dungeon is destroyed, and you are forced to work as a minion in a higher-tier dungeon until you pay the debt, then you¡¯ll be allowed to die.¡± Wow¡­ I needed to protect that thing at all costs. ¡°Ok then, so what did you say the tier-up requirements were?¡± ¡°At this point, you only need to defeat one more invasion, and you¡¯ll tier up.¡± ¡°And you don¡¯t know what is unlocked at the next tier, which is...¡± ¡°The next tier is a Nest, and no, I should remember when you unlock the tier, as well as how to unlock the next one, but, until then, you know everything I know.¡± I somehow doubted that, but that should be enough for the time being. Since I was already in the construction interface, I added some more things to the bunk room that I figured would be helpful: chests, individual weapon racks for favored weapons, and some tools as well as clothes, some large enough for trolls and some small enough for goblins. Then I dug around a bit before finding the water table. I wasn''t sure how well it would work as I only vaguely knew how they were built or how long it would last. But the construction interface made digging a well trivially easy, and since it was open to the outside, it didn¡¯t count as a room. I had been ready to include the well as part of a room, or even put the idea off and make it a room of its own if necessary, but if leaving the top open made it count as terrain rather than a room, then I wouldn''t look into that gift horse''s mouth. Zombies didn''t need water to live, and the blood and dismembered body parts had disintegrated when the loot conversion took place, but water would be useful for lots of things, not the least of which was cleaning regular dirt and grime. Then I returned to the first room, which was a mess. The gore was gone, but the rock had become many tiny rocks, and dust covered every surface. I set about cleaning. I was disappointed to find out that, while material from the rocks raised my held material gauge, it also cost mana coins to absorb the rock and more yet to replace it. Even restoring the rope that Gale had sliced cost coins. After cleaning the mess, I noticed another problem. ¡°Hey Lilith, what happens if a dungeon wall or floor, or even ceiling is breached?¡± ¡°Nothing happens on its own. I suppose invaders could join the invasion if they bashed through a wall or they could run away the same way.¡± "Right. That makes sense.¡± That must be at least one of the ways that invaders could''retreat'' as the post-invasion result screen claimed. Dungeons weren¡¯t invulnerable, and I was staring at proof. The rock had hit the floor hard, with only trolls to pad the impact. I didn''t really think about what the walls were made of, but I could make them out of whatever I imagined, and I hadn''t imagined some invulnerable super stone¡ªjust regular stone. The rock had sent a spider web of cracks through the thick stone of the floor. I had a few options for repairs, and nothing would take effect until I confirmed, so I tried a few. First I tried imagining a supermaterial that couldn''t be harmed in any way. Error: Material doesn''t exist Alright, no dice there. Next, I tried to imagine the toughest material I could think of. Error: Material types not unlocked for use Missing material types: Diamond Forcibly unlock material types? Cost: 5 Gold Ok, that wasn''t going to happen anytime soon. Before, when I unlocked the torch materials, it had only cost 5 tin, but then I had to place the material, which was far ¡®heavier'' than dirt and wildly more expensive. Thinking of the equivalent cost in weight and mana coins for trying to build a diamond wall made me vaguely nauseous. Then I tried some other materials that I wasn''t sure existed. If Mithril was a thing, then why not other fantasy materials? Error: Material doesn''t existUnauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. Error: Material doesn''t exist Error: Material types not unlocked for use Missing material types: Adamantite Forcibly unlock material types? Cost: 39 Gold Error: Material doesn''t exist Error: Material types not unlocked for use Missing material types: Magisteel Forcibly unlock material types? Cost: 87 Silver Error: Material doesn''t exist Interesting, but not immediately useful. Before I moved on I tried one more as a joke, but it actually worked. Missing material types: Unobtainium Forcibly unlock material types? Cost: 10,000 Mithril That was a touch frightening; time to move on. I mended the cracks in the floor of the first room and double-checked that the rock trap was properly reset. Then I looked over the entire dungeon; it still wasn''t much, but as time went on, this was becoming more and more of a home, and my weird zombie horde continued to grow. Before confirming I remembered something that Lilith had said, I should be able to make a chest and mark it as the boss chest; that way it wouldn''t just randomly appear and trip me when an invasion started. After a bit more trial and error, I had made the smallest, most discreet ¡®chest'' I could manage and still link it as the boss chest. Under a fake, removable block in one of the walls of the boss room, was a small box that was fused with the floor preventing it from being carried away. On the top of the box was my best attempt at a combination lock. I had worked out a set of dials that had to be turned to the correct position for the box to open. The dungeon somehow knew and spat out errors any time the boss chest was unreachable, impossible to open, too small, too large, or even in a position where I could make it impossible to reach. I¡¯d had high hopes for the ¡®push the boss chest into a hundred-foot-deep pit¡¯ plan, but only so much rule-bending was tolerated. Finally, I confirmed the renovations and winced at the cost. I was back down to just a single copper and ten tin¡­ but that didn¡¯t seem right. I had mana coins coming and going in a hurry all day, but I was short from where I should be. ¡°Hey Lilith, one more question.¡± The dungeon crown sighed, tired of my antics for the day, ¡°What now?¡± ¡°Why am I short... umm... twenty-eight tin?¡± ¡°You''re not short; it''s after midnight, and the minion''s pay has been automatically taken.¡± ¡°Oh alright,¡± that still seemed off, but it wasn''t much, and I probably just did my math wrong, ¡°What do monsters use money for anyway?¡± ¡°Ask them; I don''t know everything, and you''re bothering me.¡± I rolled my eyes; it wasn¡¯t like the crown had a lot going on, but it wasn''t worth arguing over. The monsters had all settled in, and I wasn''t about to wake them, so I made my way to my own bed to make a second attempt at rest for the night. I was shocked to not have been shocked awake. It turned out that while zombies didn''t exactly sleep, there was something else they did do. After resting for a while, I had slipped into a blank-minded, unmoving state. I would call it sleep, but if I thought back, I could remember any given moment as I stared blankly at the ceiling; it had all just seemed to pass more quickly. My best approximation of a description would be ¡®waking sleep.'' Maybe this was what torpor felt like. Most of the rest of the dungeon had already risen and began exploring my late-night changes. Geoff was trying on my different attempts at armor, Gale was playing with Terry and a squirrel with a ball that I had made for the younger minions, and Tessa was making use of a broom to sweep dust I hadn''t noticed. All in all, the dungeon felt alive despite being occupied entirely by undead creatures. It felt¡­ right. Wait¡­ Gale, Terry, and a squirrel playing with a ball? ¡°What''s that?¡± I asked the tiny goblin. ¡°That''s my friend; I named her Princess Acorn.¡± The squirrel princess chattered angrily at Gale, and I took a closer look. Name: Squirrely McSquirrel Classification: Unknown Critter Race: Squirrel Level: 0 It was the same squirrel from before! Was the damn thing following me? Better question: how was it inside the dungeon? I quickly checked the door. None of the goblins were in stasis, but it shouldn''t be possible for something living to enter without tripping the invasion warning. The door remained open. The squirrel wasn''t an invader then, but how was it inside the dungeon? Was it because it was a ¡®Critter''? That didn''t seem right; my sample size was admittedly limited, but so far anything alive was counted as an invader. Was it the level zero? That seemed more plausible, but also presented the possibility of someone with way too much time on their hands training a bunch of level zero rats or something to sneak into a dungeon and steal whatever loot wasn''t nailed down. Between that and the possibility of digging through a wall to bypass whatever traps a dungeon laid, it seemed like I didn''t have a monopoly on exploiting loopholes. Squirrely McSquirrel eyed the crown on my head, and I briefly wondered if he might be able to run a squirrel dungeon if he had found it first. Then I wondered what a squirrel dungeon would look like. Some sort of giant tree with storerooms for nuts? I had to stifle a laugh when the staredown was broken by Gale, who sent the ball they had been playing with into the squirrel, completely blindsiding it and sending him sprawling. Gale desperately apologized to the ¡®princess¡¯ which infuriated the male squirrel even more, and he angrily chattered at the girl. After walking around and taking in all of the different activities for a time I started to form a plan for the near future. The trolls would likely notice their missing companions, and soon more would show up. Geoff hadn''t counted the trolls that raided the goblin village, but the five that showed up were clearly only the tip of the iceberg. I needed to build some more defenses and scout out the trolls to find out their numbers at the very least. I wasn''t able to leave the area of influence around the dungeon though, and it didn''t take long to find that the influence only stretched a short distance beyond the original clearing. One of the goblins would need to scout the trolls for me. I called Geoff over and explained the situation, and he nodded his understanding. ¡°That''s not a problem,¡± Geoff grinned and ran off, quickly returning with another goblin in tow. Name: Gabriel Livingston Classification: Dungeon #32476 Monster Race: Goblin Zombie Level: 3 Gabriel seemed to have forgone the janky armor I had made, instead wearing a selection of simple brown clothing. The lack of armor seemed to be a sacrifice made at the altar of grace. Gabriel moved like a cat on the hunt. Geoff gestured to the dangerous-looking goblin, ¡°If you want a scout, Gabe is your goblin. He might not match a troll in a fight, but if there is anyone in this forest that can keep up with him, then I haven¡¯t met them.¡± I could believe it; even without seeing Gabriel in action, I could tell he was only ever a moment away from explosive movement. It made me wonder how Geoff and I had managed to catch and turn him; maybe we had been lucky and he was one of the ones that was trampled in the panic. ¡°So, do you know where the trolls come from?¡± I asked Gabriel. The goblin shook his head, ¡°No, not exactly. I know the direction, but not exactly where.¡± Gabriel spoke as quietly as he moved and clipped his words off as if to try catching them before they escaped. I shrugged, ¡°Good enough, can you get eyes on their camp and bring me back a count and a better idea of where they are?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I wasn¡¯t so sure about this plan, but we needed information more than anything. ¡°Take what you need and come back before dark.¡± I thought for a moment before adding, ¡°If you can bait a weak monster or animal to follow you back here, that would be ideal.¡± Gabriel didn''t ask questions and didn''t gather any supplies beyond what he carried; he just slunk off into the forest, where I immediately lost track of him. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 3 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 3 It was unfortunate that Gabriel maxed out the wave event, but I had known it would happen. I wanted to send a scout to spy on the trolls and then another goblin to bait an easy invasion so I could tier up, but Gabriel would have to serve the dual purpose. That left me with two trolls and seven goblins to spend the day with without any real objective. I tried to come up with something for them to do for a while but came up blank. Tessa ended up breaking me out of my thoughts. ¡°Mr. Rob, I would like to set up jobs for the minions; is that ok with you?¡± Was she offering to solve my problem on her own? ¡°Uh sure, call everyone over and... I¡¯ll watch and... offer suggestions?¡± Tessa smiled knowingly; the sight was very discomforting as the troll''s wide mouth stretched even further beyond what seemed possible. Soon the goblins and Terry were all grouped up in front of Tessa and myself, awaiting their tasks. Tessa was an impressive leader. She quickly worked out each of the minions'' capabilities and interests. The ¡®jobs'' she gave them were mostly busy work, but in the future, this might be a necessary foundation to build off. There was no telling how large and complex the dungeon might get, and having experienced workers couldn''t be a bad thing. Geoff was appointed leader of the goblins and chief advisor. Having an advisor seemed extraneous with only ten minions, but Tessa explained that it would be smart to have an advisor from each different species of monster, and it might not be important at ten minions but a thousand would be impossible to manage on my own. For the time being, Geoff would supervise the other goblins and act as a liaison that the other goblins would be more comfortable talking to and making suggestions to. Gina was appointed dungeon doctor. In the tribe, before they had been raided, Gina was the healer. For goblins, that only meant knowing how to clean and wrap wounds, but that was one hell of a step up from the average. I had seen a goblin accidentally cut their hand on one of my poorly made weapons. The goblin decided to take care of the wound themselves and literally rubbed dirt on it. I would have stepped in, but as a zombie, they shouldn¡¯t be in danger of getting infections. Gregory became the smith. Tessa had extracted a promise from me to make a proper forge according to Gregory''s specifications once we had the rooms available. Everyone was tired of using my crappy weapons, and apparently, even this goblin without magic dungeon powers could do a better job. Gerald looked as young as Gale but was given a job all the same. He became head of entertainment. The minions were mostly locked up within the dungeon territory and had little to nothing to occupy themselves, so Tessa decided, and I agreed, that we should have someone actively coming up with interesting things for them to do to pass the time. Gabriel was absent, but Gabrielle spoke up for her brother, and it was decided that the pair of them would be hunters and scouts. Zombies didn''t need food, and I could make clothes that satisfied all the basic requirements of being clothing, namely covering the body and keeping bugs and dirt off. That being said, it would be cheaper for me if the goblins could supply their clothes as well as weapons. Not to mention I intended to recruit monsters other than zombies at some point, and they would need food, probably. Gary became a trainer. When Tessa mentioned training, I asked how monsters leveled in the first place. If it were a game, we should all have gained some levels from fighting the trolls, but not a single level had been gained. Tessa explained that monsters could level by expending mana coins, and the reason no one had leveled yet was two-fold. The dungeon had a max minion level, but every one of the minions already met or exceeded that maximum, and so wouldn''t be able to level until the dungeon did, and the cost to level was high even at level one. The trainer job was more of a traditional trainer. Gary would be expected to make sure everyone knew how to fight, which was not something levels alone could do. Gale was the goblin I was most interested in, and her job assignment did not disappoint. She became the trap master. She was to spend her time thinking up and either building or drawing up plans for me to build traps. It was known that traps were a thing in the dungeon and that things like our rockfall didn''t count for various reasons. So she would be working on traps that were classified as traps for when they were unlocked, but also traps that didn''t count as traps. Even when the traps were unlocked, it was likely that they would be restricted in some way, like everything else was, so it would be useful to have a selection of non-trap traps even then. Terry was given the job of janitor. I was skeptical of this job''s usefulness more than any other, but Tessa had been a superhero when it came to delegation, and I didn''t dare challenge her decision when it came to her son. Terry would be responsible for day-to-day cleaning, as well as fetching water from the well and generally being helpful to the others as best he could. Tessa herself was going to be in a manager/monster-resources/supervisor/advisor/mother role for the dungeon. Based on what she had told me, trolls were very social creatures, and she had been in a similar role with her tribe before her memories went foggy. That reminded me of the strangeness surrounding the trolls and their memories. It was another thing on the list of things to be wary of and investigate if possible. The next crisis was at least polite enough to wait until we had finished our big employment meeting. As we dispersed to take on our various jobs, a message popped up. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 0 Damage taken: 50 Damage dealt: 13 Minions slain: 1 Loot lost: Low-quality clothing, Low-quality knife Loot gained: none Wave duration: 3:01:17 Wave penalty: 20 tin Loot value: none Gabriel died? 8. Nest 8 Nest I had to read the results window three times before it registered what had happened. Gabriel had been killed. I had no idea what to do next; we needed to tier up, preferably several times, so I could build some real defenses, but we had just lost our most capable scout. We had been lucky when the trolls showed up, but they would know that several trolls hadn''t returned. Escaping their attention wasn''t likely before, but now they had caught and killed a spy. It would be surprising if a war party of trolls wasn''t at our door within the day. A million ideas swirled through my head, all of them bad. Maybe we could disguise the dungeon? Hide it before the trolls showed up? I didn¡¯t have the coins to build more traps. Why had I wasted so much money building non-essential comforts? We were all zombies, for fuck sake. ¡°¡­Mr. Rob?¡± I realized Tessa had been trying to talk to me. I tried not to let on just how shaken I was, "Ah, sorry, what is it?¡± ¡°Gabriel says he needs to talk to you privately.¡± She gestured to where the goblin stood unsteadily near the dungeon entrance. Gabriel? How? I hurried over to the goblin, and he waved me inside away from the rest of the minions still milling about the surface. ¡°How are you alive?¡± I asked as soon as I was sure we wouldn''t be overheard. ¡°I¡­¡± Gabriel looked to be staring into the far distance, but we were inside. After a moment, he collected himself and shivered slightly, ¡°I got too close... A pack of trolls were coming back from a patrol or something. They found me... They didn¡¯t kill me right away.¡± Gabriel almost drifted off again, but caught himself and pressed on with a deep breath, ¡°I know you said we would be safe, ''immortal,¡¯ I think you said, so long as the dungeon survived, but¡­ we... I didn''t realize it would be like that. After I died, it was like I blinked and was suddenly in my bed, like waking up from a nightmare. I lay there for a minute. I hoped it was a nightmare and I would forget, but I remember, it was all real.¡± I raised a hand to tell him he could stop. I hadn''t considered how it would work. I hadn''t seen proof, only been told that dungeon minions wouldn''t die. Apparently, they did but then respawned back in the dungeon. Gabriel scowled at my raised hand, ¡°Let me finish¡­ if you don''t listen... If I don''t say this, then it will have been for nothing.¡± I dropped my hand and nodded. I wanted to apologize, but the news might be time-sensitive. Gabriel''s resurrection was good, but it didn''t remove the potential for a full-scale troll raid. ¡°I couldn''t count them all... There are too many. More trolls than I¡¯ve seen in my whole life. They act funny though. The ones I saw outside were normal; they fought and screamed and acted like trolls. The ones I saw when they dragged me inside were... different. They were all silent and didn''t move. Every room had five trolls lined up just standing there staring at nothing. They took me through a bunch of rooms and down some stairs to the chief. A small troll girl, maybe half Terry''s size, sat on a throne made of more living, silent trolls. She just stared at me, but whatever she saw made her angry. For a long time, she stared at me, getting more and more angry. Finally, she spoke to the trolls who had dragged me there, and they... they ripped me apart.¡± I didn''t want to press, but I had to know, ¡°Did it seem like they knew where we were?¡± Thinking about that rather than being dismembered seemed to help, and Gabriel let out a thoughtful hum, ¡°I don''t know, they spoke, but not much, and I couldn''t understand any of it. None of them ran off, and they didn''t seem to be in a hurry, so... maybe not." I clapped him on the shoulder, which caused him to flinch. That was a mistake, but I couldn''t take it back, so I smiled gently and offered what comfort I could: ¡°You did well; rest, relax. Your sister is outside; I''m sure she wants to see you.¡± Gabriel nodded and climbed the stairs to join the others; his graceful, prowling gait seemed nervous and skittish now. Rather than a hunting cat, now he looked more like a hunted rabbit. Hopefully, he would recover, but who could say, How did one recover from dying brutally? Then I remembered that most of the goblins had already died in pain and fear once before, at my hands. I needed to find a way to reassure and build trust with my minions. The only good thing about the fiasco was that I did have some information now. It wasn''t much, but the trolls outnumbered us many times over. They had some sort of underground base, perhaps even a dungeon of their own. Their leader was a small female troll with serious ego issues. And the memory issues seemed to extend to general brain issues if the mindless staring was anything to go by. Hopefully, Gabriel was right and they didn''t know where we were; maybe we could be so lucky that they didn''t know we existed at all, and they just assumed it was the goblin tribe remnants fighting back and being stamped out. I still needed to get stronger regardless of what the trolls were doing, so I called for Geoff to meet with me privately next. When Geoff joined me I explained that I needed to bait something weak into attacking the dungeon in order to tier up, but Gabriel was out of commission for the foreseeable future and needed Gabrielle so my options were limited. Geoff agreed to help and set off to find some unsuspecting and preferably unthreatening wildlife. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 3 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 2 Then I explained the situation to Tessa, who for some reason proceeded to ask me about vegetables and meat that I could make with the dungeon powers. I suspected Tessa might be smarter than I was; she was definitely more capable when it came to handling people, so I answered her odd questions, and she demanded that I make a small pile of meat and vegetables as well as a large kettle. Half of my remaining mana coins went to unlocking materials and filling the order. I was basically broke now, but when I finally put together her plan in my head, I didn''t regret the spending. Tessa vanished with Terry into the dungeon, and a short while later she called all the minions in for stew. Tessa had built a fire out of the more impressively worthless weapons, venting the smoke out through the door. I made another mental note to add a fire pit and chimney at some point. She had made a plain stew to draw the goblins and take their minds off the recent troubles. With all the minions in the dungeon, Geoff would be able to bring the invader all the way to the entrance without the others knowing. Then the stasis would save them from needing to see the invader at all. If we did it right, the impromptu lunch wouldn''t even be interrupted. I pulled Gale off to the side and spoke to her since she wouldn''t be placed in stasis, ¡°Hey Gale, I have something important to tell you; you have to keep it secret though.¡± ¡°What is he bringing? Is it trolls?¡± ¡°What? What are you talking about?¡± ¡°Geoff, he went to catch a monster and bring it here so we can kill it and go to the next tier, right?¡± My eyes widened in shock, ¡°How did you know?¡± She rolled her eyes in exasperation at me, ¡°It wasn''t exactly a secret that we needed to get stronger, so we needed to kill stuff. Gabriel can¡¯t go out like that, and Gabrielle is stuck to him like glue. Geoff isn''t here. It''s basic logic."Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Between Tessa managing the minions, Geoff being generally capable and willing to risk himself, and Gale''s brains, I was beginning to feel unnecessary. "Well, yeah, he went out to bring in an animal or something, not a troll. We shouldn''t need the rock trap, but you know how the defense works, so I''ll be counting on you to help us fight whatever he brings. Oh, and please... keep this a secret?¡± Gale shrugged, ¡°They already know something¡¯s up. I¡¯m not the only one with eyes, but I won''t tell." With that, the plan was set, and we all just relaxed and waited. Our head of entertainment, Gerald, was already on the job and introduced a goblin game to the trolls and me, and the mood, which had been tense and worried before, began to lighten. About an hour later, I found myself arguing good-naturedly with Terry about the difference between stepping out of the boundary line versus stepping ON the line when the messages popped. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 3 Damage taken: 9 Damage dealt: 47 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: Deer corpse, 2 Rabbit corpses Wave duration: 1:13:43 Wave reward: 1 copper 2 tin Loot value: 2 copper 7 tin Convert Loot to mana coins? I declined; Geoff must have dragged back a few kills for the goblins to use for crafting and maybe cooking now that that was a thing. Then a commotion drew everyone¡¯s attention to the door where Geoff came bursting in. Mental note: make a way for whoever is baiting an invasion to quickly descend the stairs. Geoff knew his business though and took the stairs three at a time, which was impressive since they were made at a size for humans or similarly sized monsters to traverse. Then a large wolf came charging through the door and scrabbled on the smooth stones. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms My vision blurred, and I was at the back of the boss chamber. I barely took a step before the next message came. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 1 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 25 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: Wolf corpse Invasion duration: 2 Invasion reward: 10 tin Loot value: 30 tin Convert loot to mana coins? It took longer for me to process the message than it took for the invasion to end. I declined this conversion as well, and another message popped. Congratulations Tier-up requirements met Tier advanced from Cave to Nest Maximum dungeon level raised from 1 to 2 Maximum room count per floor raised from 2 to 3 Special artifact unlocked: Dungeon market portal I had hoped for more to unlock, but I didn''t know what the dungeon level was, let alone special artifacts; hopefully, it would be helpful. That would have to wait though. Everything had happened so quickly, and I hadn''t been able to see any of it from the back of the bunk room. Shouting could be heard from the other room, and I hurried in to see what the damage was. The scene was¡­ something. The wolf had slid on the smooth stone, looney tunes style, and careened off the stairs into the fire. The fire had mostly gone out since we had left it untended after eating, but burning coals had still been scattered across the room, not to mention the leftover stew spilled everywhere. No goblins were hurt since they had been gone for the action-filled seconds, but you would have one hell of a time convincing them of that. The hot coals were burning the goblin''s bare feet, causing more commotion, while ash and smoke choked the air, adding to the confusion. Geoff and Gale knew the plan and had been prepared as well as one could be, but suddenly changing positions, showered with hot coals, and blinded by smoke was still too much even for them. The circus of confusion lasted for a while before Lilith finally spoke sense directly into my mind so I could hear it over the shouting. ¡°Clean the air and remove the coals in the construction interface.¡± I mentally sighed in relief when the time freeze stopped the panic. I needed to get better about using the interface in situations like that rather than just when I needed to build something. It was easy and cheap to absorb the smoke, ash, burning coals, and spilled stew. When I restarted time, the goblins continued screaming for a moment before realizing nothing was happening. Geoff, Gale, and Tessa helped me explain what had happened, and with their help, I didn''t even spoil all the progress we had made in bonding that afternoon. Once everything was settled and the party moved back to the surface to avoid any more unexpected drop-ins, I jumped back into the interface to talk with Lilith about the new tier. ¡°So what did I unlock?¡± ¡°Didn''t it tell you when you unlocked it?¡± ¡°Yes, but I didn''t understand all of it, and can''t you just help me out instead of being obstinate at every turn?¡± Lilith growled at me before explaining, ¡°The dungeon level cap raised, the rooms per floor limit raised, and you got a market portal." ¡°I understand the room thing, but what is a market portal, and how do I raise my dungeon level... and what does the dungeon level do?¡± ¡°The market is a special dimension that dungeon monsters and bosses can go to in order to trade, sell, and buy... anything. I suggest you install a portal and buy a book or something that explains all this so you can leave me alone.¡± I was in the interface already, so I willed a market portal to appear at the back of the boss room. To my surprise, it worked, though I really shouldn''t have been surprised; Lilith had said I could place one now. It just felt like she took it in turns being helpful and actively harmful when I asked for her help. The ¡®portal¡¯ took the exact form that I imagined, which was a large ornate thing with swirling mists. I tried adjusting it and found that I could make it anything as long as it was a ''portal.¡¯ Even a plain door worked. I quickly tried confirming the placement but got a new error. Error: Insufficient funds to complete changes Required funds: 1 gold Holy shit, if you didn¡¯t count the ten silver I never got to see when I put on the crown, I had never even broken ten copper. It took a hundred copper to make a silver and a hundred silver to make a gold. That meant it cost ten thousand copper to place the portal. That crap was expensive. I removed the portal and returned to my questions. Lilith would have to be my main information source for a while yet, "Alright, so what about dungeon level? What is it and how do I raise it?¡± ¡°The dungeon level dictates a bunch of other unlocks and restrictions; just raise it and you¡¯ll see. You raise it by feeding me mana coins.¡± ¡°Feeding you?¡± ¡°I didn''t stutter; just exit the interface and give me some mana coins.¡± That raised another question, ¡°How do I actually pull out a mana coin?¡± I felt her judgment even before she explained in her best patronizing tone, ¡°You can make things by willing them into existence in the dungeon construction interface... fuckwit.¡± I almost wanted to ignore her request after that, but I needed to get stronger, and this would help. I willed a handful of tin coins to appear on the table at the back of the boss chamber. The coins only cost their own value in mana coins, not any material. There might be another exploit there, but I had more important things to worry about just now. I confirmed and excused myself back into the empty dungeon. I picked up a tin coin and held it up awkwardly for a moment. Nothing happened. Then Lilith cackled madly, ¡°You should see yourself; you look like an idiot standing there holding a coin up in the air.¡± I slammed the coin back to the table and prepared to tell her off, but she explained in between mocking laughs, ¡°I can¡¯t eat the coin from the air; you have to give it to me. I am the crown, remember? I don''t exactly have arms¡­ no¡­ I don''t have arms... not yet.¡± The laughter faded and was replaced with confusion at the end. Was I going to have a smart-ass hat with arms constantly poking at me at some point? I was suddenly worried, but I awkwardly placed the coin on my head next to the crown. The top of my head grew warm for a moment, and yet another message appeared. Dungeon level raised Dungeon level increased from 1 to 2 Maximum minion level per room increased from 1 to 2 Error: Dungeon starting values exceed current maximum levels Maximum minion level temporarily remains 3 Maximum boss level raised from 2 to 4 Maximum floor count raised from 1 to 2 Traps unlocked Maximum Trap power per room raised from 0 to 2 Dungeon rename available Please select new dungeon name¡­ There was a lot to process there, but first I need a name better than my current bunch of numbers. Ordinarily, I would have asked Lilith since she was the dungeon after a fashion, and this would almost be like an official nickname, but at this point, I was ready to minimize our interaction, and she seemed to be of a similar mindset. I took some time to think it over and finally settled on something I liked and fit into the Rob the Zombie reference that the Reaper didn''t think I got. Dungeon renamed Dungeon registered as: Dungeon of 1000 Corpses I grinned at the message. Yeah, I was a nerd, but it was a badass name. If I understood everything correctly, then I had just increased my potential dungeon space and power massively. Unfortunately, I still didn''t have the coin to make proper use of the potential. I needed to find a way to make some money. That would have to wait though; for the moment I had one more thing to check. ¡°Lilith, you can tell what the next tier unlock requirements are now, right?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­¡± She sounded dreamy, almost like someone coming out of anesthesia. The level-up had done a number on her. I was just glad it had only taken a single tin coin; that definitely wasn¡¯t going to last. "So, what are they?¡± ¡°Hmm? Oh¡­ yeah¡­ let''s see¡­ You need to... oh wow..." Whatever she had seen or remembered or whatever she did when checking dungeon specifics had sobered her up in a hurry. ¡°You have to have two floors, ten trap kills, and at least a ten-monster invasion defeated. You have to have one loot chest aside from the boss chest; the top of the dungeon must reach a minimum of twenty feet over the surface, and...¡± she trailed off. Everything so far had sounded tough but doable; the height requirement could be a problem as it would be a beacon advertising the dungeon''s location, but there were probably workarounds. I could already think of a few possibilities. There had to be something else. ¡°Well, what else?¡± I got impatient and prompted her to continue, which I regretted when I realized she had saved the most dangerous requirement for last. "...and at least one human kill.¡± 9. The Opinions of Others 9 The Opinions of Others Kill one human. Those three words held so many implications. First of all, I needed to find humans. I hadn''t asked any of the goblins, but we were in a forest, and I hadn''t seen a single sign of civilization. If humans were nearby, then they didn''t often venture this way. Assuming I could find humans before being overrun by trolls, I then needed to kill one. If humans here had anything like the ingenuity of Earth humans, then that itself might be a problem. Even finding and quietly killing a single lone human might bring down the hammer of retribution on my head. And this all assumed I was ok with just killing someone. Was I ok with killing a person? My morals had been on shaky ground for a while, and now they were truly being called into question. Since being sent to this world, I had mostly gone along with the flow. I had done some messed up things, but they all had good justification, at least in my head. I attacked some defenseless goblins, but that was to protect them and save them from the trolls or other wildlife and monsters. I had killed several trolls, but that was self-defense¡­ No, that wasn''t quite right. I commanded a young girl to kill several trolls, and she did. That felt worse and I didn''t feel like my flimsy justifications covered that one. Now I had to face killing a human that hadn''t wronged me in any way. A bit more thought only made the bad taste in my mouth more bitter. This was like the trolls; I wouldn''t be doing the dirty work, not all of it anyway. I couldn''t leave the dungeon, so I would have to send someone out to look for and either kill or bait someone into chasing them into the dungeon, like with the wolf just now. My hands were mostly clean, but that was only because others were the ones doing the deed. Why hadn¡¯t I paused to think about this until now? Could I do anything about it? Ever since dying my emotions had been muted, I had thought I was getting better with all of the amusement and compassion breaking through, even the anger at Lilith and worry over the trolls had broken through. I had felt it, maybe not as strongly as I should, but I did feel things. But I hadn''t thought about what I was doing and my actions were being fueled by cold logic more and more. Did becoming a zombie really turn me into an unfeeling monster? Maybe it was time to step back and rethink some things. I didn''t necessarily need to get stronger and fight off the trolls. I could work toward hiding instead. In one of my trial and error sessions in the construction interface, I worked out that the dungeon required me to have an open entrance twice as wide as the largest inhabitant and half again as tall. Tessa was the largest monster at something like eight feet tall and five wide. That meant the dungeon door was basically a garage door, and that was hard to hide. I might be able to do something though, hide the door at the bottom of a pit maybe. We had the minds for the task though, and I wasn''t the only one who could think up solutions to problems. I called in Geoff and Tessa for a chat, this time leaving out Gale. She was smart, but I really felt bad about ordering her to kill the trolls now, and it was time to start changing things. I opened the meeting with my makeshift council of sorts, ¡°We need to decide how to move forward.¡± The two monsters looked at each other for a moment before Geoff asked their question for the both of them, ¡°What do you mean?¡± I explained the situation to them, not leaving anything out. I told them about how I wasn''t always a monster, about how I didn''t know anything about this world, about the dungeon tier requirements, and about my worries over losing my sanity and my desire to hide the dungeon away rather than fight. They listened quietly until the end, showing surprise and concern in equal measure. That made me realize that the muted emotion problem was unique to myself and not a zombie trait. I should have noticed it earlier. I had, in some fashion, realized that the goblins and trolls still felt emotions just as strongly as they had in life, but I hadn''t put it together until just now. The signs had been there though: Geoff was too terrified to move when fighting the trolls, Terry was terrified when he woke from their weird sleepwalking and immediately called for his mother, Tessa was protective and loving of her child, and Gabriel surely had PTSD or something like it from being killed over and over. I was the only one who had trouble feeling anything aside from extreme emotional turmoil. That realization only served to fuel my worries. Something was wrong with me. Tessa took the lead in the conversation, ¡°So, you can''t feel compassion or protectiveness? And because of that, you worry that you will send us to do something truly evil, so your solution is to hide away from the world. Did I get that right?¡± I nodded nervously. ¡°You''re an idiot.¡± Geoff declared. I blinked at him in shock, and Tessa just nodded in agreement. ¡°What?¡± Geoff grinned, ¡°What have you done since coming here from... wherever you came from? You took in the first person you met and offered them protection, even though I tried to kill you. You helped me save my people and extended that protection to them even though you never met any of us, and it put you at risk from the trolls. Then you did everything you could to save the trolls who came literally howling for blood. At every turn, you have done everything you could imagine to save, protect, and comfort those who need it. So what if you can''t feel things properly? And I don''t think that is entirely true either, by the way. Your actions tell a different story. Even now, when you see what you feel is your own compromised decisions, your first response is to bring us in and ask our opinions and offer to hide and protect us again.¡± Geoff looked over to Tessa and addressed her next, ¡°I can¡¯t speak for you or Terry, so stop me if anything I say rubs you the wrong way; the trolls are your people after all.¡± Tessa had a shit-eating grin on her face and nodded. I was flabbergasted at Geoff''s speech, but he wasn''t done. ¡°We need to simplify the problems. The trolls are dangerous and are not likely to stop being so any time soon. We need to get stronger to protect ourselves, but also, and more importantly, to put an end to the threat. And yes, we do need to end the threat. Hiding won¡¯t solve the problem, and we don¡¯t want to hide anyway. Just getting stronger might not be enough because there is something off about the trolls; it doesn''t seem like they are attacking of their own free will, and after Terry and Tessa woke up, they weren''t the same at all. We all know if there is any chance to wake up the trolls and save them from whatever is making them act like this, then you will take it. So we need to come up with a plan AND get stronger. That brings up the next, and frankly, less troublesome problem. We need to kill a human to get stronger. That isn¡¯t even a real problem.¡± I started to protest, but Geoff held up a hand and rolled over my arguments, ¡°No, it really isn¡¯t. We know where the humans live, so finding them won¡¯t be difficult. You can barely make yourself kill a troll that is actively attacking you, so I know you won''t want to attack an innocent. I don''t know much about humans, but I can tell they aren''t that different from goblins; they aren''t all innocent. We just need to find a bad human and solve our problem, as well as clean up the world a little bit.¡±This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. I hesitated at that thought, ¡°Vigilante justice?¡± Geoff waggled a hand in the universal ¡®sort of'' gesture, ¡°Maybe, if that option presents itself. OR we can just ask, surely the humans have criminals they need to be executed. We can offer a service.¡± Tessa and I just stared at him. And I was worried that I was the dangerous, unfeeling monster. Tessa threw a bucket of cold water on that plan though, ¡°We can''t ask them anything. We all only understand each other, we can''t even speak our own languages anymore let alone human speech.¡± She had a point, even this conversation was just a series of moans, wails, and groans. Except there was one other person here who did speak other languages. ¡°Lilith, can you be a translator?¡± I asked. ¡°No," she said simply. It was the goblins all over again. We would have to resort to the worst options just because she refused to cooperate. ¡°Lilith, let me rephrase. You can be a translator.¡± I stated in a dull monotone. This time she sounded pissed rather than apathetic, ¡°Here''s an idea; fuck you. I spend all day up here wondering who I am and what is happening. I can¡¯t DO anything except talk, and the people who I talk to obviously hate me. The only time you deign to speak to me is when you need something. You never ask how I feel about something. I¡¯m just constantly dragged along and expected to jump when ordered, never mind if I have legs to jump with or not. Let me spell this out for you. I. Can. Only. Speak. Monster. Tongues. You telling me to do something I can''t do won''t make it possible. So one last time for those in the back not paying attention, FUCK YOU.¡± Well¡­ shit. I spent all this time worrying about the goblins and trolls and whether I was making them do things they didn''t want to. All this time worrying about treating them poorly and totally missing Lilith''s troubles. She had told me before that her lack of control over her own body was a sensitive issue. I had thought I was doing a good job of being considerate and not forcing anything on her, but when she acted out in the only way she was able, I stopped trying. Even she didn¡¯t understand why she acted like she did; that and her missing memories were serious concerns that I just brushed over. The silence was heavy, and I knew it would only make her more angry, but I had to say my piece now before these wounds festered and created resentment. ¡°I''m sorry; you deserve better. I won''t make excuses. I treated you poorly and didn''t consider your situation.¡± She didn''t respond, but I hadn''t expected her to. In fact, no response was best; she could have lashed out. Hopefully, that could serve as the first step in fixing that particular fuck up. I tried to push the meeting forward, ¡°Ok¡­ so we aren''t going to hide then. We have a long way to go before we can tier up, so we can put the human problem on the back burner for now. Until then, we need to come up with a way to get some more coin and redesign the dungeon.¡± The rest of the meeting was mostly unproductive. The best money solution we could come up with was hunting, but our hunters were out of commission. Geoff offered to spread the word and see what the general goblin population could come up with. Tessa volunteered to work closely with Gale in designing more dungeon suggestions. Tessa knew what sort of things the minions needed for day-to-day life, and Gale might be the smartest of us when it came to unorthodox defenses. In the meantime, I returned to the surface to collect myself and my thoughts. Nearby Squirrely McSquirrel delivered a shipment of tree nuts to Terry, who buried them for the squirrel. When the squirrel noticed me, it stopped and stared at the crown again. That was becoming unnerving. The first time the squirrel stared at the crown, it was funny, and I wondered what a squirrel dungeon would look like. Now the weird little tree rat had basically moved in, and every time we crossed paths, it would stare at the crown until something interrupted. What did it know? Without breaking its gaze, the squirrel left Terry to his work and slowly approached me. A spike of fear shot through me, and I wondered if it had somehow heard my thoughts. I pushed down my irrational worries and stared down at him. Finally, his eyes left the crown and locked onto my own. Without breaking eye contact, the squirrel started scratching at the dirt. It took far too long for me to realize what it was doing. I knelt and looked at where Squirrely McSquirrel was drawing in the dirt. The squirrel was a damn artist, and he wasn''t even looking at what he was doing, just staring into my eyes, and the canvas was hard-packed dirt. Despite all that, the image was as clear as any printed photo without colors. It was a series of images like a comic book telling a story. In the dirt, I could see the image of a tiny squirrel holding a coin nearly as big as its own head. In the next panel, a person took the coin, and it turned into a doorway; you could see through the door, and on the other side was a city. The squirrel went through the door and into the city. The next image was of a clock with spinning hands; I noted that it was a twelve-hour clock like on earth. Then the squirrel returned through the door and held out a necklace to the person who then put it on. Once he finished drawing, he continued to stare at me and point at the image. I wasn''t stupid; I could understand he was trying to tell me something, but I couldn''t get past how smart this random squirrel was. If there was any doubt left over whether or not he was following me, then that had just been settled. But what did it want me to do, and should I trust it? I didn''t really understand, but I looked back at him and nodded once. He nodded back and slowly reached into his cheek, where he had been storing nuts while gathering his hoard. When Squirrely McSquirrel produced a gold coin and held it out to me, I fell on my ass in shock. I tentatively reached out, not sure if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Before I could touch the coin though, he snatched it back and pointed at the drawing again, shaking his tiny paw furiously. I looked closer, and he was indicating the panel where the coin became a doorway. He was willing to give me this gold coin, but I had to use it to make a door? What door? With this, I could make thousands of doors, doors for days. Whatever doors you want, little guy. I nodded again, but he narrowed his tiny eyes at me and shook his head, pointing at the door again. This door specifically, but what sort of door leads to a city? Then I realized what he was trying to tell me. I had just been wondering about this, and now the solution was right here. He was offering to pay for the portal. Something in my face must have shown my understanding because the angry rodent relaxed a bit and offered the gold again. Rather than take it, I activated the interface, absorbed it, and placed the portal in the back of the boss chamber. Before confirming, I stared at the window displaying the gold coin about to be spent. I could do so much with that money. I might even be able to set up a defense that no troll could penetrate. If I did that, then I could make this money back in time, and all the troubles would be solved. The temptation was strong. So, so strong. When I finally confirmed the portal, I was grateful for the time stop; I had spent far too long wavering. The squirrel didn''t react when the gold coin suddenly disappeared from his hand, instead looking at me expectantly. I waved him in and guided him to the portal door, where he stopped and looked at me again. We stared at each other again for a while before he shook his head and gestured at the door. I didn''t understand and cocked my head to show that. I was starting to get the hang of non-verbal communication. He threw his hands up in exasperation and walked slowly to the door. Without breaking eye contact, he proceeded to jump up and down, waving his tiny arms around. Oh! I hurried forward and quickly opened the door; he scurried through without looking back. I watched for a moment as he disappeared into the crowd. Then I had to really look. On the other side of the door was a city. It was dark, perhaps night-time, though this was apparently another dimension; who could say if there was such a thing as night and day? Even though the sky was dark, the street was not. Lights lit most windows, and I could see the buildings were all different styles. Some had familiar architecture¡ªwooden walls and shingled roofs, or stone walls and metal roofs. Some were completely alien, with materials I couldn¡¯t identify; some were even clearly organic, one looked like a giant turtle shell hollowed out, and one looked like some sort of meteorite and had weird mantis-like creatures flitting about from one opening to another. That made me look closer at the people. Despite the darkness, the street was packed, with people constantly moving and pressing through the crowd and in and out of buildings with purpose. But the people weren''t humans, not a single one. Rather, every one I could see was some sort of monster. Centaurs, orcs, goblins, bipedal wolves, fairies, floating brains, fox people, tentacle monstrosities, something even flew by that I could swear was a dragon. A city of monsters indeed. Contrary to what I would have expected from a gathering of monsters, I didn''t see any fighting. Several times I noticed someone bump into another, but every interaction was polite and civil. I started to walk through the door to get a closer look but smashed my face into an invisible barrier. Error: Dungeon crown and Dungeon Boss may not leave the dungeon at the same time. Right¡­ I still needed to figure out how to remove Lilith without removing her. It could have just told me that without smashing my face though, that hurt. I went to close the door but received yet another error. Error: You may not close the portal while your dungeon has a representative in the Dungeon Market. Uhhh¡­ So the squirrel is my representative now? I thought about sending Geoff through to have a look around, but ¡®market¡¯ implied that there would be shopping, and without the gold coin, I was again broke. Plus, I wanted to see it for myself, dammit. Before I could stew for too long, a familiar tree rat came bounding back through the portal and settled in front of me, holding up a pendant. Right, the dirt comic strip showed him returning with something. I took a look. Legendary Artifact Name: Amulet of Babel Effect: Allows the wearer to select any living creature. Effect: All spoken language is translated into the targeted creature¡¯s native language. Effect: All spoken language by the targeted creature is translated into the wearer''s native language for the wearer only. 10. Am I Speaking Squirrel? 10 Am I Speaking Squirrel? The Amulet of Babel, a legendary artifact. This creepy squirrel had just delivered the solution to my problems... Well, some of them... Okay, he brought me a possible solution to one future problem, but a legendary artifact? How? What even made it legendary? Now for a more important question, how did this squirrel know I needed something like this to begin with? I was one hundred percent sure that he couldn''t have been spying on the meeting earlier, and even if he had, we had been three zombies moaning at each other. There was no way he could know we had discussed making contact with humans but lacked a way to communicate. Quicker than I could blink, Squirrely McSquirrel scampered up my leg and onto my head. I was already on edge, and the sudden tree rat hat next to the crown on my head, which would kill me if removed, made me panic. I reached up and tried to swat him away, but I was too slow. Before I could even make a proper attempt to dislodge my passenger, I felt a weight settle on my neck. Then, just as quickly as he had rushed me, the squirrel was again standing in front of me. He started chattering at me and gesturing back and forth between us. I picked up the intent quickly enough; it was trying to talk to me, but I had no idea how to use this thing. How did I target someone for the translation effect? It turned out I just needed to focus on him like I would when pulling up their information, but this time I needed to think about selecting him. It felt odd to do, and I would need to practice using it properly, but I managed to target the squirrel. It was immediately clear when I had successfully targeted Squirrely because the chattering suddenly changed, becoming intelligible words. ¡°¡­me you can understand some kind of language. If Mistress Lilith was picked up by a slobbering buffoon, then this will become much more difficult. Hello? Anyone in there?¡± ¡°Yes, yes, I can understand you; I¡¯m no slobbering buffoon, you mangy tree rat.¡± My insult didn''t land, and Squirrely carried on chattering rapid fire, ¡°Oh good, I was worried I would have to do this on my own. We need to get you Tiered up again so the Mistress can form an avatar. What are the requirements? If they have changed, then I may need to take some time to work out a solution. That shouldn''t be though; Gib wouldn''t have thought that far ahead. Let''s see Tier three... that was... ¡± ¡°Woah, woah, wait, slow down. What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?¡± Squirrely waved off my objections and scratched his tiny chin in apparent thought. It would have been unbearably cute if I wasn''t reeling from the sudden torrent of info bombs. There were several important nuggets of information in there, but my understanding didn''t seem high on the squirrel''s priority list, so he didn¡¯t elaborate. Mistress? Avatar? Gib? I could barely understand a quarter of what was going on. Suddenly the squirrel nodded and looked up at me. He spoke again, this time very slowly and deliberately, as if to a particularly slow-witted child, ¡°I will handle the humans. You need to build some proper traps and weapons. You probably don''t have much money, and I just spent the last of what we had left, so you¡¯ll need to start gathering herbs; they should be the most valuable thing out here. Do you understand?¡± I shook my head, ¡°No, I have no idea what is going on. What do you mean you''ll handle the humans?¡± The squirrel held his head in both hands. I couldn''t even be frustrated at him; he was just too damn cute, and the absurdity of what was happening kept me from taking it too seriously. Was I really talking to a squirrel? ¡°Just do what I say: gather herbs, build traps, and make weapons. It¡¯s simple.¡± ¡°But I¡­¡± ¡°No buts! Just do it. It would be way too much trouble to start over, and we don''t have any more money.¡± I wanted to argue some more, but he was off in a fluffy blur. Seriously, what the hell? That interaction did give me an excuse to try talking with Lilith again though, ¡°Lilith? Do you know that squirrel? I think he mentioned your name.¡± ¡°Did he? I don''t know any squirrels." ¡°Wait, you didn''t follow that conversation?¡± ¡°I understood your half, but the little squeaks were still just squeaks.¡± So, since he was a squirrel, he was considered a critter and not a monster, so Lilith couldn''t understand him. That also meant the amulet didn''t extend to her when I wore it. ¡°Well, he said he would handle the humans, whatever that means, and for us to work on the other Tier requirements. Looking for and collecting herbs will help with our money problems. So, we need an herb gatherer.¡± I was determined to remember and include Lilith now. She had been seriously pissed off earlier and uncooperative before that, but if we were going to work together, then one of us needed to extend the olive branch. Fortunately, it seemed like she was in a cooperative mood now, or maybe she appreciated my attempt at including her because she threw in her input. ¡°Yeah, herbs. That might work. We should ask the goblins if they know anything about the plants around here.¡± I pulled Geoff away from the group as they prepared to ¡®sleep'' for the night, every one of them deserved it, it had been a long day. "Hey, do any of you know anything about herbs?¡± I asked. He thought for a moment before nodding, ¡°Gina knows which plants make you sick and which help when you are sick, and Gabrielle knows a plant that hides your smell from animals so they don¡¯t smell you coming.¡± That was good, but Gabrielle needed to stay with Gabriel, who was still jumping when someone moved too suddenly around him. Gina could be sent out to look for... whatever those plants were that she knew about, but I had been watching the goblins, and despite her level of two, I would put money on level one Gale in a fight. I didn''t have anyone who knew about the local plants and was also ready and able to go out alone. The wave level limit was based on the maximum minion level per room. That was still level three after the power-ups, so I was very limited in my scout options. Lilith hummed out loud, apparently for Geoff''s benefit, letting us know she too was considering the situation. She sounded thoughtful when she asked, ¡°What about sending Gina to identify the plants, Geoff to guide and lead, and Gary to protect the group?¡± I quickly verified the goblins'' levels; they were all level two, ¡°That is far too many levels for the wave.¡± ¡°Ummm, no, not exactly. I said before, but the wave level is based on the maximum minion level in a single room.¡± I nodded, still confused, ¡°Right, that¡¯s at three still." Now she was getting excited as she quickly explained, ¡°Right, but I also said you can artificially boost a room''s minion level. If you leave two rooms of the same maximum minion level empty, then a third room can be doubled. So, two empty level three minion rooms mean you can have a level six minion room.¡± I caught on and finished for her, also excited now, ¡°And that carries over to the dungeon wave, meaning I can field up to six levels worth of minions.¡± Geoff looked around for a moment before raining all over our parade, ¡°But... we only have two rooms, and you said you don''t have money to make more yet.¡± I wasn''t deterred though and jumped into the interface. It was true that I didn''t have the money for proper rooms, with all the promised equipment and accoutrements, but I didn''t need all that. I only needed rooms that counted as rooms, then I could leave them empty and boost the first room¡¯s level.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. It wasn''t quite that easy, though. With some trial and error, I discovered there was a minimum size for a room to be a room. The minimum seemed to be about the size of a large walk-in closet. That wasn''t so bad, but they needed to be stable enough to not set off structure warnings as well. I solved that with more stone walls and ceilings, it would be tight in the budget but doable. Then we had to decide on the placement of things. If I wanted two empty rooms, then I would need to add another floor, which meant a stairwell. Additionally, I couldn''t add a room beyond the boss room, so it would all have to be attached to the rock fall room. I ended up building a small stairwell room and another room off that room. In order to save money while still satisfying the requirements, I made the basement room share the ceiling with the floor of the rock fall room. That would be dangerous, and I would have to change the layout in the future if I wanted to keep the massive boulder trap, but for now, it would serve. I also noticed that the deeper I went, the higher the costs became for everything¡ªdigging, building, everything was more expensive. It wasn''t much, but if that was a trend, then it would be something I would have to take into account as I balanced the threat of tunneling invaders against cost efficiency. I took a quick peek at the stat window and noted all the changes since leveling. Dungeon Stats Floors: 2/2 Rooms: 4/6 Maximum boss level: 3/4 Maximum minion level: 3/2 Maximum Trap power: 2 Invasions defeated: 5 Dungeon name: Dungeon of 1000 Corpses Dungeon type: Undead Dungeon level: 2 Dungeon tier: Nest Dungeon danger rank: 29878 Dungeon popularity rank: n/a Boss chest projected value: 4 silver I was officially turbo-broke, but I had managed it. I checked, and I was indeed able to assign up to level six worth of monsters in the rock fall room. I could even assign Tessa. Instead, I assigned Geoff, Gary, and Gale. That was only five levels, but I figured that to be the best combat force I could field at level six. Tessa was intimidating as hell, but she was a mother, not a fighter, and I really needed a trap springer, so this was best. After confirming the changes, I found myself staring at Geoff again. I burst out with laughter as I remembered the situation. Geoff had just been saying we didn''t have the money to make more rooms, and now the rooms were already done before he could blink. It wasn''t funny, not really, but I couldn''t help but laugh anyway. Geoff just looked at me as if I were insane; that just made me laugh harder. Lilith knew the situation and joined my hysterics. I¡¯m sure I looked mad, but between the look on Geoff''s face, the extreme relief I felt at being able to properly feel amusement, and Lilith seeming to have forgiven me, I felt good, and I didn''t care who knew. After explaining the situation to Geoff and the other spectators, that my insane laughter had drawn, they still didn''t really see the humor, but we had a plan of action, and things seemed to be looking up somewhat. We went to bed in high spirits. The next day a message woke me up, if you could call being startled out of my strange torpor waking up. Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 6 I looked around and noted that Gary, Geoff, and Gina were missing. The money-making plan had begun. I did find it strange that the goblins and trolls all ¡®woke up'' well before me. Early enough that I missed the morning activities. I wandered around and saw that the small community was taking on a life of its own. Perhaps Tessa had been orchestrating things without my input because everyone was busy. The kills Geoff had brought back had been skinned and butchered for the meat. Gregory had gathered the garbage weapons I had made and some sticks and stones from the surface, modifying and improving them into something more useful. Terry was clearing the dead plants from the surface, exposing the dirt underneath, which Tessa was marking with a stick as she explained her plans for a garden to the goblins without another task. The only monsters who weren''t engrossed in some sort of work were Gabrielle and Gabriel, but it seemed that wouldn¡¯t last long as Gerald was showing them how to carve pieces for some board game out of scrap wood. Even with only a handful of inhabitants, the dungeon was becoming a community. I could only imagine what this place would look like with twice this number, but why stop there? Who could say how many monsters I could bring in and shelter? The names of the later Tiers were starting to make sense: Town, City, and Kingdom. This dungeon could really turn into something. I was at the head of all this. It all relied on me; that was a heavy responsibility to consider. If the original dungeon name was any indication, then there were more than thirty-two thousand other dungeon monster communities out there. Not to mention whatever human civilization looked like, or other races. My own race was Elf zombie after all. This world might be seriously heavily populated and diverse. My deep contemplation was shattered by a serious-looking goblin girl carrying a pile of wood that had been planed into planks. How had they managed that? ¡°I need to talk to you,¡± Gale said with a scowl. Oh boy, that didn''t sound good. ¡°What is it?¡± She set down her load of wood and took a single plank off the top, shaking it at me. ¡°I need paper!¡± I blinked, ¡°Paper?¡± ¡°Paper! And something better than charcoal for drawing. It''s more difficult to make a picture of what I am thinking of than it is to just build it! I cannot work under these conditions!¡± I finally got ahold of the wooden slab she was waving around threateningly and got a better look at it. On the slab, there was a drawing of an intricate-looking device that I could barely understand. ¡°What is this?¡± That was the wrong thing to say. Gale''s face managed to turn red despite her light green complexion, and she boiled over into shouting, ¡°What is this? What is this, he says! I spent hours drawing up the plans for different traps, and you can''t even tell what they are! I need paper!¡± Now that I knew it was supposed to be a trap, I could decipher the drawing. It was indeed hard to understand, but when I did, my eyes went wide and my heart started pounding. This was terrifying. The drawing was of a dungeon room. There wasn¡¯t much to the room, and it seemed like a regular empty room, but there was more to it. Outside of the room, there were some mechanical parts embedded in the walls. At one corner of the room inside of the wall, there was a bracket with a thin cable mounted to it. The cable ran through a slot in the wall around the perimeter of the room until it wrapped back around to the same corner. Instead of mounting to the bracket, though, this second end of the cable was wrapped around a pulley and mounted to a boulder very similar to the rock fall boulder. Next to the boulder was a pit, and a small arrow pointed at the boulder and down the pit. It didn''t take much imagination to work out the idea. Some unfortunate soul would wander into the room and either trigger the trap or a watcher would manually do so. The boulder would be pushed down the pit, pulling the cable with it. That cable would then quickly be pulled through the slots in the walls and into the corner. I had seen and heard about some industrial accidents on Earth involving high-tension cables, and the image of a loop of cable being pulled through the poor victim and into the corner was disturbing. This would cut anything clean in half, and it even had measurements detailing the height of the cable, so goblins would be able to duck under while anyone taller would... not. Gale had something like a dozen of the slabs of wood. Each one depicted another gruesome trap. This little monster was not someone to mess with. Mental note: I needed to get paper. If even a quarter of these worked as intended, then I might never need to fight to defend the dungeon. ¡°Paper is the first thing on my list; do you need anything else?¡± That seemed to calm her, and she nodded in satisfaction, ¡°Something better than charcoal, some samples of spikes, logs, chains, springs, ropes, hinges, oils, and anything else you can think of for testing.¡± Right, so I needed a workshop for Gale as well. I needed money and Tiers so I could keep all these promises I was making. I agreed to meet all of Gale''s demands as soon as I had the money. I saw the value in a well-supplied trap master, and I definitely wasn¡¯t just worried I would step in a cartoon-style snare and wind up hanging upside down from a tree. The other goblins and Tessa all made similar requests throughout the day, and I found myself missing Geoff, who was meant to filter the goblins'' worries and suggestions. Finally, the herb gathering party returned, and the long-awaited message popped. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 2 Damage taken: 12 Damage dealt: 40 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: Rabbit corpse, Bird corpse, 12 Larimtella flowers, 7 Mastidel mushrooms, 8 oz. of Death¡¯s Kiss berries, 13 oz. Hunter''s Rest berries Wave duration: 5:10:21 Wave reward: 42 tin Loot value: 4 silver 12 copper 72 tin Convert Loot to mana coins? Before confirming, I met the returning party. They carried the berries, flowers, and mushrooms in their shirts, pulled out like sacks. Baskets or sacks were added to the to-make list. Gina explained the herbs for the benefit of the entire dungeon; these trips would need to be repeated, and it would be beneficial for everyone to know what to look for. The flowers had deep purple petals and were about the size of my fist. They could be plucked just like any flower, and tea could be made from them to break a fever. The mushrooms looked like regular little white mushrooms, but apparently, they released spores that contaminated any food within twenty feet when touched. Anyone who ate the food would have crippling stomach pains for days but otherwise would be fine. They weren¡¯t life-threatening unless you put your head in a bag of them for several seconds. Both types of berries looked exactly alike and could only be distinguished by checking the surroundings for animals that had eaten them, or apparently by my weird identification power. The Death''s Kiss berries would bring on sudden, painless death within an hour of ingesting them, and the Hunter''s Rest berries were just a stimulant. I nodded and confirmed the conversion. Geoff looked disappointed when the rabbit and bird also disintegrated, and Lilith suggested they leave the things they wanted to keep outside of the dungeon boundary next time. That sparked an idea in Gale, and she told everyone to leave a sample of each poison next time as well, so I could absorb it and then make it on demand for her to use. Suddenly I could hear a commotion, and we all turned to see what surprise was in store next. Squirrely McSquirrel raced into the clearing. Hot on his heels was a small child, giggling and calling the squirrel back. I still had the squirrel targeted with my amulet, so his words were clear when he stopped at my feet and chattered at me, ¡°Here, kill the human so you can rank up.¡± 11. Cynthia 11 Cynthia I had to make sure I heard correctly. There was no way I had. ¡°Do what now?¡± I asked incredulously. ¡°Kill the human quickly, before it runs away.¡± The talking squirrel confirmed that I hadn''t hallucinated. I looked back at the girl. Name: Cynthia Classification: Unclassed Race: Human Level: 0 Cynthia¡­ This little girl couldn¡¯t be older than four or five. She still hadn''t noticed the horde of zombies she was walking into and slowly crept up on the squirrel, as if stalking prey. I was worried I wouldn''t be able to work myself up to kill an adult, even one that we knew was a criminal, as Geoff suggested. There was no way I could kill this innocent little girl. But I didn''t have to; any one of my minions could do it for me, and I would still get the credit. And they all knew that. They all knew we needed to kill a human to tier up and get stronger. Suddenly someone moved, and my heart stopped. Before I could react, Tessa had scooped up the giggling girl and was bouncing her, making playful noises. With a look around, I confirmed that no one had even started to move with violent intentions. I felt a rush of shame, having expected the worst. These were monsters, but only in name. None of them had done anything by their own choice that would even make the news on Earth. Humans and monsters were both capable of kindness, innocence, cruelty, and depravity. The word ¡®monster¡¯ was no longer sufficient, but I didn''t have a better one. I would have to just think of them as people; that would have to suffice for monsters and humans alike. I returned my attention to Squirrely, ¡°I can''t kill her." He slumped, clearly disappointed, ¡°Why not? I made sure to pick a small and slow one¡­¡± Seriously? ¡°That''s a child!¡± I shouted incredulously. ¡°So?¡± Yeah, I couldn''t deal with him. I targeted Cynthia with the amulet and spoke to her. ¡°Hello, Cynthia.¡± At the sound of her name, she broke off her giggling fit and looked to me. ¡°Do you know how to get home?¡± I asked, already knowing the answer I would get. Cynthia looked around. It seemed like she only now realized she didn''t recognize where she was. Tessa noticed the girl¡¯s mounting distress and glared at me. I raised my hands in surrender, ¡°Easy, I just asked if she knew how to get home. This is going to be a problem.¡± Tessa didn''t stop glaring, but Cynthia finally spoke, ¡°Who are you?¡± Hmm¡­ It would really help to know how I was going to resolve this before deciding what exactly to tell her. If I told her my name, I would effectively be telling her entire family and her neighbors, and the local stray cat. This could be a very dangerous situation. We might be better prepared now, but an angry mob of pitchfork and torch-wielding villagers had no good outcomes. Well, a name shouldn''t hurt, ¡°I am Rob; nice to meet you." I held out a hand before remembering it was a half-rotten thing of skin and bones. Cynthia didn''t seem to mind though and shook my hand vigorously. She solemnly introduced herself, ¡°I''m Cynthia; Papa says not to go in the woods... Can you help me sneak back home?¡± I snorted; this one was already trouble, ¡°I think that is a good idea, Cynthia, but... I¡¯m stuck here and can''t leave." I gestured around, indicating the clearing. This was a gamble. Children talked, when, and I do mean WHEN, we managed to get her back home; she would now know that I couldn''t leave this area. Humans may be aware of how dungeons worked, if a little girl suddenly started telling stories about a bunch of monsters who couldn''t leave a clearing in the woods... Suffice it to say, one plus one may just equal: let''s go kill the dungeon. ¡°Mama needs my help to make supper; I need to get home soon.¡± As she said this, I could see her starting to tear up. I really didn''t need a crying child right now, so I agreed, ¡°Mmm, yes, we do need to get you home then; let me think a moment.¡± I started pacing and rubbing my chin, really playing up the whole ¡®thinking¡¯ angle. As I did so, I talked to the goblins. Geoff had mentioned knowing where the humans were; hopefully he knew well enough to guide a party. ¡°Geoff, can you find the human village from here?¡± The goblin winced, and my stomach fell, ¡°I don¡¯t think so, boss; I¡¯ve never been there¡­¡± As he trailed off, Geoff looked toward Gabriel significantly. Shit¡­ This could really end poorly. If Gabriel was the only one who knew the way to the village, then he would have to put away his pain and fear for a short time and guide a party. That was easy to say, but he was barely functional and still flinched at shadows. Not to mention it was going to be dark before long, and who knew how long the trip would take? As I paced and considered our options, the damned squirrel hadn''t given up its murderous plans. While everyone was distracted, Squirrely McSquirrel found a small reject knife that Tessa had claimed for cooking purposes, since it wasn''t worthy to be a weapon. He climbed a nearby tree and shimmied over the child still cradled in Tessa''s arms. Later I would think back on the sight of a tiny, furry assassin leaping from the canopy and wonder if perhaps this world had action movies. This squirrel had to have watched too much Rambo. Tessa had some special mother powers though and, without looking, reached up with one hand and caught him out of the air. She didn''t even seem to notice the knife dig into her massive palm. As we watched in stunned silence, Tessa started to squeeze. Cynthia had been placed under the troll''s motherly protection; nothing could touch her. The squirrel¡¯s eyes started to bug out, and his face contorted in pain, but no sound escaped. The more she squeezed, the angrier Tessa looked. The squirrel and the troll stared at one another, both of their mouths hanging open, one in a silent scream, the other in a snarl of terrible wrath. I couldn''t bring myself to step forward to stop it, and perhaps everyone else felt the same as I did because the entire clearing was still. The moment lingered for a moment until Cynthia looked around in confusion and saw what was happening. ¡°No! Don''t hurt him!¡± She wailed as if it were her being crushed. Tessa reeled as if struck. They couldn''t understand each other¡¯s words, but Cynthia''s cries were plain enough. Slowly, very slowly, Tessa set the squirrel down. The knife tumbled to the ground, and blood trickled from her hand for a moment before the wound sealed. That finally answered the question of zombie troll regeneration, at least. Squirrely McSquirrel lay on the ground gasping for air, but otherwise whole.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. Finally, I gathered myself enough to act. I changed the amulet''s target back to the squirrel and picked him up by the scruff of his neck like a kitten before he could recover enough to run. I smirked, "So... That was probably not the best idea.¡± The squirrel¡¯s squeaky speech came between pained gasps, "Fuck you.¡± I raised an eyebrow, ¡°You aren''t very smart, are you?¡± ¡°If you can''t kill it, then I will. The mistress must be freed.¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think you could put a scratch on that girl with a squad of Navy SEALS while Tessa has her. So what¡¯s your next plan?¡± He finally seemed to have caught his breath and stared back at me defiantly, ¡°I don''t know what blue sea creatures have to do with anything, but you have to kill a human to tier up. A blue sea creature? Oh right, different world. ¡°That may be, but I have this now,¡± I poked the amulet, ¡°We can talk to the humans; find one that isn''t an innocent little girl.¡± He shook his head at me, ¡°You think the humans will just offer up one of their own for you to kill? You can''t talk to them. Even if they don''t come after you right away, they will know about you. Someone will come, sooner or later.¡± That was true enough; if humans knew about us, then it would only be a matter of time before someone showed up that we couldn''t handle. That didn''t make it right to kill a child, though. Cynthia said something that I couldn¡¯t understand and struggled free from Tessa''s arms. She made her way over to us and held out her arms, looking sternly at me. I grinned. The little killer was disarmed and, more importantly, knew the consequences of trying to harm the child. I handed my captive over, who was then crushed again, this time in a hug. The twisted personality of the rodent would have to be dealt with later; for the moment, we had to find a way to get Cynthia home fast. ¡°Gabriel, Gabrielle, chat?¡± I explained the situation to the goblins and asked Gabriel if he could handle an escort mission right now. He hadn''t been very responsive during my explanation, but when asked, he nodded firmly. I couldn''t tell what he was thinking, but he seemed confident in his ability to guide them to the humans before dark, and Gabrielle didn''t object. I targeted and spoke to Cynthia once more, "Alright, Cynthia, these are my friends. They are going to protect you and take you back home. They can''t talk though, so just stay with them, and they will protect you... And... let¡¯s keep this a secret, ok? Your papa might get angry if he finds out you went into the woods.¡± She nodded seriously. I didn''t feel great deceiving a little girl like that, but if it kept her quiet about us, then I would gladly do so. So it was that the human escort party was formed. Gabriel would be the guide, Gabrielle the emotional support, Cynthia the VIP, and Squirrely McSquirrel the prisoner of war. As they prepared to leave, I made sure the squirrel understood that retribution would be terrible if he tried anything while they were away. I was relatively sure that he wouldn''t try anything. He seemed to know about the dungeon, so he would understand that killing the girl wouldn''t help the dungeon if she wasn''t here. Just in case, though, I asked Gabrielle to keep an eye on him. Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 6 The rest of us tried to settle in and rest, but everyone was aware of the stakes. The atmosphere was tense. This was the first human contact. Even goblins and trolls knew how dangerous humans could be. Lilith tried convincing me to work on the dungeon now that I had some money from the gathering mission earlier, but stopping time for several hours and then waiting even longer sounded every type of unappealing. So we sat up and waited. Gerald made a valiant effort to distract us with his new games, but the tension was just too high. As the sun set, the last of us made our way into the bunk room and anxiously chatted. Finally, a message popped up, but it wasn''t the one we expected. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms An invasion? Now? But it was only one invader, so maybe some random animal had wandered in or something. Gary quickly, but calmly strode into the room and over to the weapon rack, so nothing urgent then. I joined him, and together we carried some of the better spears to our defending party. Nothing was happening. It was too dark to see the top of the stairs, which was intentional. The stairs weren''t a trap, but the wolf had brilliantly demonstrated the danger of that drop, so we kept it dark and treacherous. Still, nothing was happening. There weren''t even any sounds. Gale began fidgeting, and Gary clearly wanted to charge up after whatever was here. We needed to do something. I made the decision and whispered to the others, ¡°Gale, get ready on the rock fall; don¡¯t cut the rope until I yell. Geoff, get a torch and come with me. Gary, get ready for a fight.¡± The goblins hurried to their tasks, and soon Geoff and I were climbing the stairs. The torchlight flickered and shifted, making it hard to see very far, so we were about halfway up the stairs before I spotted it. A huge figure stood motionless at the top of the stairs. I couldn''t see who or what it was yet, but they had to see us. We were holding the only light source on the stairs after all. Still, it didn''t move. We crept forward even slower than before. Even though it had to see us, we still held our breath. We didn''t really NEED to breathe as zombies; it was just a habit that made us do so. The torch came close enough that I could finally tell what we were facing. A troll. That was odd. The trolls from before had come in a pack and had been screaming and hollering. All of them were in some sort of frenzy. This troll though stood silently, watching. We continued to approach, readying our spears. Eventually, I managed to get close enough to examine it. Name: Terrence Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 4 Terrence¡­ Wasn¡¯t that Terry''s... leg brother? The other half of the troll that had split in two. But that didn''t make sense; we had splattered all of those trolls, except for Terry and Tessa. No¡­ I had suspected before, but now this confirmed it. The trolls had a dungeon of their own. We couldn''t kill them, not really. They would respawn in their own dungeon just like Gabriel had done. Dungeon BW, what sort of name was that for a dungeon? I would have to figure this out later; now we had a troll to get rid of. I was almost in range of a spear thrust already, so I took one more step forward. I must have crossed some threshold because, as soon as my foot landed, Terrence launched at me. Geoff and I both raised our spears in panic. Our technique was terrible; Gary would be appalled, but it didn''t matter. Terrence didn''t even try to dodge. Geoff''s spear went straight through the troll''s throat while my own took it in the gut. Someone should have told Terrence that spears hurt when they impaled you because he seemed unaware of his new holes. The troll continued flying toward us, and our grip on the spear hafts pushed us back with the momentum, but there was nowhere to go. We tumbled down the stairs in a heap. Something snapped in my shoulder halfway down, and pain exploded all across my body. The troll remained silent, but Geoff and I both cried out in pain, drawing Gary into the fray. Soon the four of us were struggling at the bottom of the stairs. My arm didn''t work anymore, but I wasn''t the only one down a limb. Geoff''s leg had somehow been ripped off completely, and Terrence managed to fit three elbows on his own arm. More snapping and popping sounded out from the troll, and suddenly he looked totally uninjured. This was not going well. Gary tried his own spear, and Terrence took it in the chest, right where his heart would probably be. That didn''t seem to matter as the troll turned and snapped the spear in half. Once again, he was nearly healed by the time Gary regained his balance. ¡°We need to do something else; this isn''t working," I shouted. ¡°What CAN we do?¡± Someone yelled, but I couldn''t tell who. ¡°Over here, the rock!¡± An angel called from above. Terrence hadn''t stopped his advance just because we wanted to chat though, and my distraction cost me. I took a massive fist to my side, and the world went dark. Thankfully, I wasn''t out long. I had flown sideways into the wall, smashing my head, but the crown was either indestructible or at least more durable than the stone. I could see where the impact had cracked the blocks, but my head felt fine. Gary shouted something, but I couldn''t hear properly¡­ Maybe I had taken some damage then. The torch had gone out at some point, and the only light was back by the doorway to the bunk room. A giant shadow swatted clumsily at a smaller, quicker shape in the dark. Finally, I realized that was Gary holding the troll back on his own. We were out of options. Geoff was laid out, hopefully still alive, but unmoving and down a leg. I couldn''t tell how bad I was myself, but there was no way I could fight. We couldn''t bait Terrence into the rock trap anymore, not with two of us down. There was more shouting that I couldn''t understand, but it wasn''t Gary. Finally, Lilith broke through my stupor with a mental shout, ¡°BITE IT! Turn it into a zombie!¡± Right¡­ that was how we killed Tessa, and she had two levels on this guy. I shook my head to clear some of the cobwebs as I dragged myself to my feet, and instantly I regretted it as the pain I had been missing flared. I didn''t have time to wallow though and looked to the fight. Gary wasn''t doing well. He still had speed and agility over the troll, dancing around the wild swings, but he had taken a hit at some point, and his arm hung limply. I tried to sneak as quietly as possible around the flank. The dim lighting worked in my favor, and I managed to approach unseen. Gary saw me, nodded once, and worked to keep the troll facing away from me. That limited his options for dodging, though, and he took another hit, tumbling head over heels into the wall. I used the opportunity and jumped on Terrence''s back, biting and gnashing at his neck. He reached back and grabbed me with a giant hand, easily prying me loose. I was reminded of my handling of the squirrel earlier as the giant held me up to look me in the eye. The eerily silent, emotionless mountain stared at me for a moment¡­ and smiled. Gale shouted from above, ¡°I¡¯M SORRY!" And I heard the rope snap. Terrence and I both looked up. Terrence and I both turned into paste. 12. Semi-pro Tagonist II 12 Semi-Pro Tagonist II The days after receiving his Class were a bit of a blur for Hiro. When he told his father that he had received a special Class, the large man looked disappointed but not surprised. The next morning Jeremiah had helped Hiro knock out the morning chores quickly, something he hadn''t done in years. The reason for the change was revealed when they returned to the house, and Jeremiah told him to clean up and meet him in the cellar. As Hiro descended the stairs into the dark, he noticed a single candle lighting a corner of the damp room. There he found his father seated on the cold stone floor, surrounded by boxes with a large bundle in his lap. ¡°What''s that?¡± Hiro asked, half in curiosity, half to break the unnerving silence. Jeremiah jumped and looked up at his son. The giant man''s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and the creases and wrinkles of his face seemed to catch the light. Jeremiah looked twice his age at that moment. Only two other times in Hiro''s life could he remember seeing a look like that on his father¡¯s face, both times he was deep in his cups, and Hiro or someone else had asked about Julia, Hiro''s mother. Jeremiah hadn''t answered on either previous occasion. He answered this time, "This... this was your mother¡¯s sword.¡± There was no way whatever was in that bundle was a sword. Not unless the wrapping was fifty layers thick. The bundle was about five feet long and three feet wide, not to mention as thick as his father''s tree-trunk sized biceps. Hiro didn''t know anything about his mother aside from the fact that she had died before his birth. That didn''t make any sense to Hiro when he heard it, so he asked the only other person he knew who had known Julia. Aunt Layla said she had been there that day. Julia and Aunt Layla were both part of some sort of delving party that made a living fighting in dungeons. Something went bad that day, and Layla wouldn''t elaborate, but his mother had been killed while pregnant with him. The party''s cleric acted quickly and used his mother¡¯s own blade to cut open her belly and pull Hiro from her warm corpse. It took that cleric, the entire healing potion stock of the party, a priest from the nearby church, and a rare Druid classer to save Hiro. Even the small pieces of the story he had received were impressive, but Hiro felt none of it. It was just a story to him, and the people around him had lived the terrible tragedy, so he didn''t pry. Jeremiah kept talking, but the haunted look in his eyes didn''t fade, ¡°This is all of her old gear... A lot of it is too small for you; she was so short¡­¡± The moisture finally collected enough to break free and trail down his face, and he wiped it away with the heel of his hand before clearing his throat and continuing in a colder, more measured tone. ¡°You should take whatever you can use... Everything is still in good condition and should be useful to you.¡± Hiro looked around and noticed the contents of the boxes. A dagger, amulets, rings, various pieces of armor he couldn¡¯t identify, and other things he wouldn''t have thought about bringing on a journey¡ªa pack with a small pot tied to it, a canteen, a device he had seen adventurers use to light fires, even a bedroll. Jeremiah took one last look at the large bundle he had called a sword, took a deep breath, and held it up to Hiro. Hiro carefully reached out and tried to take the bundle. For a moment he thought his father was gripping the bundle to keep him from taking it, but a quick glance showed his hands were open. Hiro hadn''t budged the thing, and that was just its natural weight. Jeremiah chuckled softly, which eased Hiro''s concern, ¡°Your mother was strong; you will be too, in time. Square up your feet and lift.¡± The second attempt went better, and Hiro marveled at the bulky thing. Someone had been able to swing this around? Jeremiah smiled sadly, clapped Hiro on the shoulder, and left the cellar. Hiro took everything except the armor, his father was right, it all looked child-sized next to him. Once he was out of the cellar, and he had better light, he unwrapped the bundle. The cloth was some sort of thick canvas with one waxy side. Inside the single layer of wrapping was a slab of metal with one sharpened edge. Whoever called this a sword had never seen one before; it looked like it would be better used as a plow. When Hiro took his inheritance to show Dianne, he found the shop closed and windows shuttered. No amount of knocking brought any response, and eventually he gave up. The day passed quickly and quietly, with everyone his age meeting with or looking for their new mentors. The next morning Hiro rose earlier than ever before and made his way to town one last time. His father walked with him most of the way, resting a hand on his shoulder but not saying anything. As they reached the edge of town, Jeremiah stopped short, and Hiro looked back at him. ¡°It''s finally time, son... I want you to remember something... Home, Home is always here waiting.¡± Hiro didn''t really get it, but the moment seemed to be important, so he nodded solemnly. The caravan was being loaded by servants when he arrived. A couple of guards in the Solomon family uniform stood at the side and nodded as he approached. With nothing to do and excitement bubbling in his chest, Hiro decided to help the servants load their cargo to burn off some energy. Dianne did show up eventually; neither of her parents did, though. She immediately found an empty carriage and spoke to the guards. Somehow she talked her way into riding like a noble for the trip. He saw very little of Dianne over the next few days as they traveled. When they stopped for the nights, he would help the servants with their duties, setting up fires for cooking and staking out the horses. Dianne remained cooped up in the carriage, only leaving to get food and relieve herself. Eventually, the capital rose over the horizon. The city was massive; Hiro supposed if you stood their entire town on its side, it wouldn''t reach as high as the tallest buildings in the capital, and who could even say how long it would take to cross from one side to the other? Everything seemed to be made of gray stone. Maybe rather than build this place, someone had carved it out of a mountain. The amount of work involved would probably be similar. The idea wasn''t as crazy as it sounded. Townsfolk didn''t get to hear much about it, but apparently, the largest, strongest dungeons could communicate with people. Humans and Dungeons would make agreements and work together to build incredible feats of engineering and architecture that would otherwise be impossible. The famous Royal Gauntlet dungeon was one such dungeon that could communicate and had several standing arrangements with the Royals. Hiro wondered if he would run that dungeon soon; it was supposed to be in the capital after all. No one had discussed his Class with him any further, but Classes that were considered ¡®special'' were usually adventure-type Classes. Once they reached the walls of the city, massive things that stretched higher than seemed possible, the caravan veered off the main road into a staging area of sorts. Miranda left her carriage and spoke to a guard, who fetched Hiro and Dianne. Once they had both gathered, Dianne making only brief eye contact and nothing else, Miranda spoke to them, ¡°Welcome to Bansolow, the capital city of the Kingdom of Bansolow. Yes, the name is repetitive. Yes, the Royal family is no longer named Bansolow. No, they aren''t going to change it any time soon. Now, I would like to give you the tour, but that would take a week, and Mr. Grand Paladin here informs me that something is going on in the frontier, and two potentially powerful new Classers might need to be rushed through training to handle the threat.¡±The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. As she spoke, she gestured to a man who stood nearby at attention. The ¡®Grand Paladin'' looked anything but grand. The man was thin and short, looking like a half-sized scarecrow; he looked like a stiff breeze might carry him away. Wire-rimmed glasses sat on the end of his nose, far too low to be of much use, and ink stains on the sleeves of his plain-looking robes gave the skinny man the look of a scholar more than a paladin. The paladin bowed and spoke to the ground, ¡°Thank you, Ms. Solomon; again, I apologize for the inconvenience. I wouldn''t have bothered you if not for the Seer''s prophecy.¡± Melinda waved the apology away, ¡°No, of course, we cannot ignore such dire portents. And please stand up straight, I''m not my uncle, speak normally.¡± The man wore a frown as he stood back up. ¡°Then I would ask you to please call me by my given name... I would, but I know you would agree and then ignore the request.¡± Melinda smirked at him, ¡°It would be improper, and even more importantly, disrespectful of me to call you by anything but your Class name, Grand Paladin; think of the image that would present. And call me Melinda.¡± "Yes, Ms. Solomon, of course. Now... the new Classers?¡± Melinda hummed as if weighing the idea of taunting the paladin further, but she eventually acquiesced, presenting Dianne and Hiro like cattle at an auction, ¡°Here they are; this is Mr. Semi-pro Tagonist and Ms. Tagonist.¡± The Paladin finally broke from the weird skit they had been playing out, shock etched on his weathered face. ¡°Semi-pro¡­ Tagonist¡­ Are you two related?¡± He asked. ¡°No!¡± Hiro and Diane answered in unison. Hiro couldn''t sort out how he felt about the speed Dianne had snapped that answer out. The situation was too complicated. Hiro didn''t like complicated. ¡°Well¡­ Alright then, I am Theodore Grand Paladin; perhaps you''ve heard of me?¡± Hiro looked at Dianne, who looked back with an equally clueless expression. Melinda cut in, unable to keep quiet any longer, ¡°Theodore was a top adventurer about... thirty years ago? He used to be famous for his... diminutive stature.¡± Theodore looked about to die of embarrassment, but Melinda didn''t relent, snorting as she continued, ¡°Everyone wanted him on their team. Many fair maidens¡¯ hearts were broken when ¡®The-O-Dore able Grand Paladin retired''" She lost it then, barking out with laughter. ¡°I think we should move along. If the Seer is correct, and she always is, then we haven''t nearly enough time to bring you two up to speed. Come, this way. We can get you properly scanned at the Guild Headquarters.¡± Without a look at the hysterical Melinda, Theodore hurried the Tagonists along away from the caravan. Theodore guided them through a gate, skipping the long main queue and nodding to a guard. Apparently, Grand Paladins got special treatment. As they entered the city proper, the scale of the place again struck Hiro and Dianne both. It really did seem like a mountain made of buildings. From the gate at the edge of the city, one could see all the way to the center. The outermost ring of buildings were ¡®only'' about twice as tall as Hiro''s house back in the town, but the closer to the center a building was, the taller it was. The effect was such that you could almost always see hundreds of buildings, each rising a bit higher than the one in front of it. The city was too large to get a good picture of the shape just from looking, but the gate they had entered led directly to a wide cobble street that seemingly led straight to the center of the city. At the center of the city stood The Citadel. The Citadel was almost as famous as the Royal Gauntlet dungeon. Even Hiro knew all about The Citadel. The massive building rose twice as tall as the buildings around it. A shade of gray, a bit darker than most of the stone in the city, gave it the appearance of a looming shadow. From the stories, Hiro knew that you could fit the entirety of his town within The Citadel and still have room to spare. That was where the Royal Family lived, as well as a small army of servants. It also housed the Royal Guard. The kingdom had an army, and the city had the city guard, but the Royal Guard was something else. Top adventurers would often be recruited to the Royal Guard. The offer that the Royals made was just too good to refuse, so most accepted. The ex-adventurers didn''t handle anything but the security of the Royals, which left the rest of their time for training. Sun up to sun down, every single day they trained. It was said that if you wanted to take the Citadel, you would first need to turn every single soldier, guard, and adventurer in the kingdom. Even then, you would have a hard time. They didn''t go to the Citadel; instead, they made their way to a building that was actually set into the city wall itself. When they entered the wall, Theodore explained that it would be impractical to use the entire massive structure only for defense, so the middle floors were used for important infrastructure, like the Adventurers¡¯ Guild, the guard house, the builders union, trade offices, and much, much more. Soon they entered the Adventurers¡¯ Guild, indicated as such by a sign. Hiro noted that the sign, and all the others he had seen within the city, was written out rather than displaying pictures. Did everyone in the city have their letters? Inside the guild was a scene similar to those he had seen in the town guild branch back home. People milled about a bulletin board displaying contracts, sat at tables eating, or lined up to speak with a clerk. That seemed odd, this city was enormous, surely they had more adventurers than they could fit in this place. The room was crowded but it was just too small, there couldn¡¯t be a hundred people in there. Theodore brushed past the packed room and into a back room. Within the office was a gray-weathered man sitting at a desk, head deep in paperwork of some type. Theodore cleared his throat. The man didn''t respond. He tried again. ¡°I hear you; I¡¯m just ignoring you. I''m busy; go away.¡± ¡°Randall." The old man, Randall, startled and tried to stand. His chair didn''t move though, and he just floundered in his chair a moment. ¡°Lord Theodore! My apologies; what can I do for you, sir?¡± ¡°Easy Randall, I need to scan these two; your branch is the closest to the gate they arrived at.¡± ¡°Oh, this is just one branch; there are more like... it... in¡­¡± Hiro trailed off as everyone stared at him. Great, now they all thought he was an idiot. Randall shook off the outburst and looked at Hiro and Dianne through squinted eyes, ¡°Hmm, yes. New Classers then. Summer already, is it? Alright then, over here you two, come on.¡± The pair approached, and suddenly Randall held up a palm to stop them when they got to the desk, as if they would climb it to get closer if he didn''t. Then Randall closed his eyes and shout chanted while gesturing wildly around, ¡°Powers that surround us! I implore you, heed my call! Grant us the knowledge forbidden to us lowly mortals! Allow us to peel back the veil of reality and peer into the depths, to glimpse fate! Bestow your insights into the nature of all that is! Show us, Show us his soul!¡± With a flourish, Randall flung his arms toward Hiro¡­ all while still seated. Name: Hiro Class: Semi-pro Tagonist Race: Human Level: 1 Stats: Body: 10 Magic: 10 Leadership: 10 Primary Weapon: Buster Sword Fate: Savior of humanity The words appeared before everyone in the room. Dianne was the only one among them who didn''t have her letters, and so as everyone read, she nudged Hiro and whispered. ¡°What does it say?" Since the day of the Classing Hiro could count the words she had said to him on one hand, so he jumped at the question, hurriedly reading it for her. When he finished, she whistled softly. ¡°Savior of humanity, huh? So¡­ I guess we got our wish; that is definitely an adventurer class. A big, important one...¡± Hiro nodded. He didn''t want to say it out loud for fear of jinxing it, but her class was similar. They would be important adventurers together. They would be adventurers like Dianne wanted, and they would be together like Hiro wanted. He couldn''t help the grin that split his face. As they finished reading, Theodore nodded like the result was expected, then prompted Randall again, ¡°Now the other one?¡± Randall nodded and raised his arms dramatically again, calling out once more, ¡°Powers that surround us! ... Her too, please.¡± And he pointed at Dianne. Really? Name: Dianne Class: Tagonist Race: Human Level: 1 Stats: Body: 2 Magic: 20 Leadership: 50 Primary Weapon: Crown Fate: Edgy monologue followed by defeat at the hands of childhood friend Dianne nudged Hiro again, ¡°What does mine say?¡± Hiro''s heart stopped, and he could only answer with one word, "Umm...¡± Theodore and Randall looked pityingly at Dianne. Dianne grew frustrated, ¡°What does it say?¡± Theodore coughed and spoke over Dianne, pretending he couldn''t hear her, ¡°SO¡­ the prophecy. The Seer had a vision that told her of a growing threat in the frontier. And, that a new Classer would be arriving who would be necessary to combat the threat.¡± Hiro noted the man had said ¡®A new Classer'' singular. ¡°Would someone please answer me, what did the weird floaty words say?!¡± Theodore spoke louder, ¡°So we need to rush your training, unfortunately. But that does mean you get special attention; I will be mentoring you personally. Today and tomorrow you will train with the Royal Guard, and then we will clear a beginner dungeon. I won''t be aiding you in the dungeon run, so you must take the training seriously. First though, we need to visit the armory. Randall, have you ever heard of a buster sword?¡± Hiro raised a hand, "Ah, sir? I think I already have one.¡± He pointed at the massive thing strapped to his back. ¡°That? I thought you were delivering stock metal to the foundry... Where did you get that thing?¡± ¡°It was my mother''s sword.¡± Randal was the one who spoke up next, ¡°I think I¡¯ve seen that sword before... You wouldn''t be Julia Colossus¡¯s boy, would you?¡± It was the first time he had heard that second name, but Julia was indeed his mother. Hiro nodded. Theodore seemed to know the name, if not the sword, and blew out a breath at the confirmation, "Well, if you have half her talent, boy, then we should be fine.¡± Dianne had placed herself in the middle of the room and was waving her arms in front of their faces, ¡°Seriously, what did my scan say?¡± 13. Kasumi 13 Kasumi ¡°¡­orry, I''m sorry, I''m sorry.¡± ¡°Calm down; he''s waking up." People were shouting¡­ Why were people shouting? Why was my head pounding? ¡°Rob? You have to wake up now.¡± Five more minutes, please. ¡°ROB, WAKE UP!" Ah, they hadn¡¯t been shouting before. NOW they were shouting. I cracked open my eyelids just a little. It was blessedly dark, with no light to drive a knife into my skull. This was the worst hangover I could remember, even worse than the time I played beer pong with vodka... I had lost. Even the winner told me the next day that he knocked over his TV, which fell on his back and broke. ¡°We aren''t done yet, Rob." That was Lilith talking. Then I remembered what was happening. We lost. That troll, Terrence, had absolutely destroyed our best fighting force all on his own. I was completely helpless in its grasp. He was smiling as he was about to finish me off. And then the snap. The sound of rope being cut, the rock fall trap. Gale had cut the rope, dropping the boulder right on top of us. I had died again, but now I was in the bunk room, in my own bunk. I had respawned. That was when I noticed her. Gale was sitting against the wall, knees pulled against her chest and tears streaking her face. It was strange; she had always looked like a child to me. Now though, as she bawled her eyes out, curled up so small that she would fit in an overhead carry-on compartment, she didn''t look like a child. She wasn''t a child, not anymore. I had stolen that from her. Whatever her age, she had been through too much for me to think of her as a child anymore. This was fucked. ¡°I''m sorry, I didn''t have a choice; I had to. I''m sorry." Gale was repeating over and over. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I was surprisingly solid, and my headache had already mostly faded. I walked over to Gale and knelt at her side. Lilith spoke directly in my head so she couldn''t hear, ¡°Hurry this up; there''s still something outside.¡± I was grateful to Lilith then; as I woke up, I could hear her. She had tried to talk Gale down, and now she made sure to speak only to me so as to spare Gale more pain. Lilith was making at least as much effort as I was to make this work. ¡°Hey, I''m here.¡± I told Gale, speaking softly like she would crumble at any moment; maybe she would, ¡°I''m here. You saved us. The troll was going to kill us all, and you saved us.¡± ¡°I killed you.¡± ¡°Yep, and I¡¯m still alive because you did what you had to. You did the right thing.¡± Lilith spoke mentally again, ¡°Wrap it up, movement on the surface. Two large shapes and one small. Probably trolls.¡± Dammit, why couldn¡¯t we get a moment of peace? ¡°I have to go for a little bit; I want you to rest. Can you do that for me?¡± I looked to the side. The rest of the dungeon, save for the duo on ¡®return the human'' duty, were here. Gary cradled his broken arm and seemed to have trouble keeping his balance. Geoff must have been carried into the room; he was unconscious, which was good since his leg stump would probably be pretty painful. My death meant I was the best off of us somehow. I made eye contact with Tessa and nodded toward Gale. She got the message and nodded back. I noted the look she gave me, though; she was not happy with me. That was fair. I made my way out of the bunk room and back into the rock fall room. It was a disaster zone. Lilith explained the mess, ¡°When the rock smashed you, it killed the troll too. The invasion results message popped up, but you were out, so the blood and... bits and pieces couldn¡¯t be converted to coins. On the upside, the troll died first, probably because it was taller, so you got credit for the win. Seventy-three tin¡­¡± It wasn''t quite as bloody as the first troll raid, but as I had expected, the floor had collapsed. It looked like a sinkhole opened up, but instead of swallowing whatever was above it, it threw up a pile of blocks and rocks, with some chewed up... Rob¡­ for good measure. I wondered what happened to the crown when I died like that. Lilith had told me that I could die and respawn, just as long as no one took the crown while I was dead. What if none of me was left to take the crown from though? Was that another potential loophole? If I dug a thousand-foot pit and jumped in when an invasion started, was the dungeon safe? If it was impossible to take the crown, then they shouldn''t be able to destroy us, right? I could even rig up something to drop a bunch of dirt into the pit on top of me. They would need to bring in mining equipment if they wanted to destroy the dungeon after that. Then I realized I was thinking of the most efficient way to dig my own grave, commit suicide, and then bury myself. Moving on and never returning to that... The stairs were covered in rocks and, somehow, floor chunks. That wouldn¡¯t matter though since I couldn''t cross the shattered floor. I heard a noise from the door. It was too dark to see, but I could tell by the sound that it was trolls hooting rhythmically. They sounded like apes. ¡°Construction interface," Lilith said. Right, I kept forgetting that. I activated the interface, and time stopped. I was able to view outside of the main dungeon while in the interface. It had been a while since I tested it, but I had been able to move my point of view anywhere within a sphere slightly larger than the clearing. I suspected that the sphere would either grow with levels or expand based on the rooms I built, but more testing would be needed. For the moment, I moved my view outside to the doorway to see my guests. Two large trolls, just like Lilith had said. They stood just outside the door. Lilith whispered in my mind even though no one could hear us here, ¡°The small one is in the shadows, by the trees to the east.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure how she knew which direction was which; I sure didn¡¯t. ¡°Which way is east?¡± There was a pause before she answered; it sounded like she was struggling not to say something rude, ¡°Straight ahead.¡± It took a moment, but I found the troll. It really was small, even shorter than me, and skinny. I wasn¡¯t aware trolls could be that small. When Terrence had been... born, I guess, he was almost immediately as big as the other trolls. Terry was supposedly a child, but he was only a little smaller than Tessa. This troll was somewhere between goblin and human-sized. Unfortunately, I couldn''t get a great look. They were outside of my current range and in shadow. Instead, I returned to the trolls by the door and had a look at them. They looked¡­ familiar. Trolls were trolls; one was just as large and imposing as another, but these tugged at my memory. I couldn¡¯t examine them with my identify power while in the interface, so I just had to get a good look. Why were they so familiar? Lilith''s voice sounded unsure when she spoke, ¡°Is that... Tessa?¡± That was it; the troll at the door was Tessa. How? I rushed back into the bunk room, an entirely unnecessary measure in this timeless world. Tessa was there; she sat next to Gale, who leaned into the troll openly weeping. They weren''t quite the same. I zipped back and forth between the two trolls, comparing them. I didn''t have an eye for troll features, but there were some differences, enough that I had convinced myself it wasn''t the same troll, but perhaps another family member.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The color wasn''t quite the same, which was difficult to discern as they were under very different light sources. Tessa was slightly more wrinkled, maybe older, and the ugly hair tufts were different; Tessa had fewer tufts of hair-fur. The resemblance was uncanny, though. This didn''t matter. I consulted Lilith on possible solutions, ¡°We need to drive them off. Any ideas?¡± ¡°Well first, fix the dungeon.¡± Right, no invaders were inside yet; I could reset the rock fall room. She continued thinking aloud as I worked, ¡°The system won¡¯t let you dig a hole or something below them. That counts as a trap, and you have traps, but there are all sorts of conflicts when affecting living creatures; it''s why the interface locks during invasions. You can''t lock the door; you have to have an open entryway. Moving the entrance would work, but it would cost, and they could just find it again. You probably just need to upgrade the dungeon; you have money now. Build some of those traps Gale drew up.¡± I did have some money from the herbs, probably enough for some impressive renovations. I would have to figure out something else to do for springing the traps, though. I couldn''t put Gale through something like this again. I spent some of my infinite time making changes to the dungeon. In the rock fall room, I changed the rope cut to a trip wire system. Fortunately, I did have some idea of what issues one could run into when trying to release a large, heavy load with a small force. The most reliable solution I could come up with without being able to test it was a multi-stage trigger. The end result was significantly more expensive than just cutting the rope, but it SHOULD work. I hoped. The trip wire would release a weight attached to a rope; when the weight reached the end of its own rope, it would jerk to a stop, yanking on another release. The last release from the tripwire was secured to a huge swinging axe that would, hopefully, cut the rope that Gale had been cutting before. Next was the bunk room. I didn''t want invasions to go here if possible. With some trial and error, I discovered a solution to several of our problems. I could make locks¡ªreal locks operated by keys. I put the biggest, most solid lock I could on the bunk room door. That sent a bunch of errors about impossible routes. The key needed to be available to invaders. I almost gave up the idea, but Lilith stopped me. Boss keys were apparently a thing. You could give one to a special kind of minion which I hadn''t unlocked yet, OR you could put them in a chest somewhere accessible in the dungeon. I removed the room under the rock fall; the cave-in had been expensive to fix, so I would like to avoid that in the future. Then I made another, full-sized room off of the stairwell in a different direction. Inside the new room, I put a regular chest, which held the boss key. At that point, all the errors were cleared up and I could confirm, but I wasn''t done yet. In the key room, I set up Gale¡¯s cable trap. I tried to set up a pressure plate trigger, but I got a new type of error complaining about trap power being too high. Rather than remove the trap, I tried to modify it so it wouldn¡¯t count as a trap, like with the rock fall. Eventually, I managed to set up a trigger that worked off the chest opening, which would set off a mechanism to push the large boulder weight that pulled the cable through the room. The whole thing was a bit convoluted, and I had my doubts it would work... but I had to do something, and this was the best I could come up with. Before confirming, I changed the minion room assignments. The new lineup was Geoff, Gary, and Gregory in the rock fall room, and myself in the boss room. That was when I realized I would be locking the minions outside with the invaders. With a mental sigh, I added another room on the safe side of the locked door. Then I reassigned the minions to the bunk room and changed the new room to the boss room. NOW everyone should be safe. The final price ended up being pretty steep. I was left with one silver and fifteen copper. More than half of my fortune, and I had only made traps that might or might not work. When the confirmation went through, I snapped back to my body, standing in the rock fall room. I weighed my options for a moment and decided I should have a look up above with my own eyes. If the invasion started, I would be teleported to the boss room and thus be safe. It might be useful to get a look before that happened. I made my way across the room and to the stairs. About halfway across the room, I felt a tug on my leg and heard a small click. Ahh hell, I forgot about the tripwire and tripped my own trap. I knew what was supposed to be happening, so I quickly looked to the action, preparing myself to jump into the interface and stop time again at a moment¡¯s notice. The first trigger worked as expected, releasing the weight. The final trigger released, and the axe swung. I might have overdone the axe because it didn''t even slow at the rope. The rope was cut, and the rock fell. I stopped time before it smashed me again. I quickly reset the trap and made a note to make some adjustments later. The trigger worked for now, but it was flawed, and it took a few seconds, which might be a problem. When I restarted time, I made sure to avoid the wire. The stairs seemed longer than I remembered, but that was probably just the eerie hooting sounds that the trolls had kept up making me nervous. I stepped up to the landing in front of the door and looked out. The trolls noticed me and went silent. Both of the trolls by the door smoothly stepped back and held their arms out to the sides. What were they doing? It looked like they were trying to appear unthreatening. Slowly, and without making any sudden moves, the two trolls backed up to the edge of the clearing near where the smaller troll stood in the trees, unmoving. The small troll remained in the shadows out of the area I could influence and called out something. I couldn''t understand her, but Lilith translated, ¡°She''s saying: Come out, I just want to talk¡­ Thiss feels weird, be careful.¡± This was probably the troll chief that Gabriel had described, but that meant she would be the boss of the BW dungeon. Lilith was right; this felt weird. I didn''t have much choice, so I crept out into the clearing. I made my way as close as I dared, which was actually fairly close. I had seen the trolls move and fight; they were much faster than me, but I had the home-field advantage. I might not be able to drop them in a hole or something, but I could put junk in the way to slow any pursuit while I ran back to the dungeon. I managed to get close enough to examine the two larger trolls, bodyguards. Name: Tessa Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 6 Name: Tony Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 8 I had to read it multiple times. The one on the left really was Tessa. But how? Tessa was in the dungeon; were there more Tessas? The girl chief spoke again, and Lilith translated in real-time, ¡°There you are; finally we meet. I expected someone... shorter. How did you get to be running a goblin dungeon?¡± Goblin dungeon? She must not know about the trolls; maybe she didn''t know about the zombieness either. I spoke back, assuming her crown would translate, ¡°Well, that is a bit of a long story. And¡­ I expected a troll chief to be taller, so I guess we are even.¡± ¡°Even huh?¡­ I don''t know about that. I owe you for Terrence. I still don''t know how you managed to make a new troll for my scouts, but I appreciate the help either way. That being said¡­ this is my territory; those goblins are mine. You stole my goblins.¡± I scoffed, ¡°You sent your trolls to raze the village.¡± ¡°Yes, they needed a demonstration. I had to show them who was in charge so they would fall in line. I¡¯m still not sure whether you need the same.¡± So this was her offering... what? For me to become her subordinate? Obviously, I wasn''t going to do that, but I couldn''t refuse outright unless I wanted war right then and there. I wasn''t sure how much strength she could bring to bear, but clearly, it was more than my own. So far, I had seen a raid of six trolls out at once. I hadn''t done the math, but they had a cumulative level far higher than any dungeon wave I could manage. That was also ignoring the fact that she stood here now. The troll dungeon was a ways off, so she had managed to figure out how to leave the dungeon herself. I''d had a few hints that it was possible, but here was proof. I took a small step forward; I wanted to examine her for the information window. She noticed my movement but misunderstood my intent, ¡°Oh? You want to fight here and now? Brave, aren¡¯t you? I don''t know how strong you are, but I assure you, those six you killed before were nothing. I¡¯m not even in the same league as them.¡± The not-Tessa and Tony stepped back and knelt while the troll chief stepped closer and out of the shadow. Name: Kasumi Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 16 Kasumi, level sixteen. That was terrifying. Terrence had easily mopped the floor with our best three fighters, and he was only level four. If I knew more about how the dungeon numbers worked, maybe I could work out what Tier this BW dungeon was based on all the information I had, but that didn''t matter; it was higher than mine. I had to disengage so we could come up with a new plan. Starting a fight with Kasumi would be suicide. And that name, Kasumi... that broke the monster naming convention. Trolls always had T names, but not Kasumi. ¡°Well? Are we settling this now or not?¡± Kasumi said through the crowns¡¯ translation. I took a step back, not so confident in my ability to escape anymore. ¡°ahh¡­ maybe later¡­ what¡­ What do you say we start over? I''m Rob. Nice to meet you.¡± She looked confused and asked her crown to repeat what I had said before answering, "Rob... I¡¯m Tina¡­ Nice to meet you... What sort of monster are you, Rob?¡± Tina? What was going on? I double-checked the identify window, and her name was still listed as Kasumi. I was missing something important. And my name, Rob, seemed to confuse her. Maybe I was on to something with the T versus K thing, and she couldn''t think of how I was an R name. I was still in my territory, so I froze time to think. I recruited another mind, ¡°What is the deal with monster names? All the goblins are G names, and all the trolls are T names. Is that a coincidence?¡± "I... don¡¯t know... It can¡¯t be a coincidence though. Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern, twenty times is fucking creepy.¡± That¡¯s what I thought. This Kasumi had secrets, and I needed to come up with an R-named monster that was believable. It took a long time. Lilith wasn''t much help, and I wasn''t very satisfied with what I came up with either. I really just couldn''t think of many R-named monsters, let alone humanoid ones, but I finally settled on the best thing I could come up with and restarted time. ¡°Ah right, you probably haven¡¯t heard of us. I''m a redcap... It''s kind of like a goblin¡­¡± ¡°I know what redcaps are,¡± Kasumi snapped. Oh, thank God, they existed here. It was a stretch, but maybe I could make her think I was protecting the goblins out of some kind of comradery. ¡°You don''t look like a redcap... Why are you so tall? And where is your red cap? I actually had those excuses planned out, so I didn¡¯t hesitate, ¡°I''m a special variant... extra tall, extra strong. Had to take off the hat for the crown, you know how it is.¡± ¡°Riiight¡­¡± She drew out the word like she was trying to find something wrong with it, "Well... This is my forest... If you want to live here, you have to pay me tribute. I don¡¯t think I have to tell you what happens to you goblins when you make me angry¡­¡± I swallowed hard. I had to play up my fear, but not very much because I was terrified of this little monster, ¡°Ok, what sort of tribute?¡± She grinned wickedly, ¡°More goblins, the invasion rewards are great, and... my trolls are hungry.¡± 14. Dungeon Based Magical Cloning is Scary 14 Dungeon Based Magical Cloning is Scary Lilith and I managed to talk our way into something of an agreement with Kasumi, the troll chief. It helped that we didn''t intend to fulfill our end of the bargain. That meant we could make some pretty wild concessions. We did put ourselves on a bit of a time limit though. The trolls would leave us be, and even deliver some interesting new materials for me to absorb and unlock. In return we had to deliver a raid of goblins every week, and samples of whatever rare materials we had unlocked. The first ¡®tribute¡¯ was due in a week, so we had that long to figure something out. We might have been able to get more out of the deal, but the Gabriel and Gabrielle duo were due back any time, and it would probably not go well if we added more variables to the negotiations. Not to mention Gabriel would very likely lose any progress he had made if he saw Kasumi now. Now we had some other problems to deal with. I made my way back to the bunk room where Tessa was still comforting Gale. I cleared my throat and announced, ¡°Hey everyone, time to have a talk." No one moved, but I had everyone¡¯s attention; even Gale stopped her soft sobs, sniffling quietly and watching me. ¡°I bought us a week, then we need to do something about the trolls.¡± Gary raised a hand and asked, ¡°Shouldn''t Geoff be awake for this?¡± I looked over where Gina was tending to the newly crippled goblin. It was a blessing that he was unconscious. When he woke up, he would probably be having almost as hard a time as Gabriel. I started to shake my head and tell them to let him sleep, but Lilith interrupted, ¡°We can fix that.¡± Even Gina stopped her work to look at Lilith. ¡°None of you are going to like the solution... but we can get him back to one hundred percent... Gary too.¡± Gary looked to be barely able to keep himself from bouncing with joy, ¡°Let''s do it; my arm is messed up good.¡± ¡°I am telling you, you won''t like what I have to say.¡± This was becoming frustrating, so I stepped in and said, ¡°Just tell us, Lilith.¡± ¡°Mmmm¡­ fine, but only you, Gary, Geoff, Gina¡­ and Tessa can stay in the room when I do.¡± It seemed like adding Tessa to that list was physically painful to her. I was getting a bad feeling about this. The goblins that weren''t mentioned looked like they wanted to argue, particularly Gale, but I made eye contact with each of them and nodded. They didn''t like it, but they left the room. Even after the room had emptied, Lilith still hesitated. Tessa was the first to succumb to the impatience, ¡°Well, out with it. How do we fix Geoff''s leg?¡± Lilith made a sound like she was taking a deep breath, ¡°We kill him.¡± No one reacted. It took me a moment, but I pieced together what she meant without asking. Gabriel and I had both died. When we respawned, we were in perfect condition, with the exception of Gabriel''s neck wound that had turned him into a zombie. One day I would figure out that strange quirk of zombieism. If someone was wounded, especially as badly as Geoff was, it was easier to kill them and let them respawn. ¡°No.¡± Tessa declared firmly. I understood the hesitation; Geoff was one of us. But precisely because he was one of us, I didn¡¯t want to see him in pain. I agreed with Lilith. Lilith defended her plan, ¡°Look, he''s out cold right now. We can make it quick and painless, and he will be awake in seconds, back here with us.¡± Tessa repeated, ¡°NO.¡± ¡°What do the rest of you think?¡± I asked the two who had been quiet thus far. Gary seemed unsure, and Gina looked about to be sick, but I needed to press them. This was a serious decision, and I wouldn''t make it alone. Gary shifted his weight uncomfortably and bumped into one of the bunks. The sharp pain caused him to wince, and that seemed to settle it for him, ¡°This sucks. My arm is killing me, and my head is pounding. I don''t want to die... But if it stops the pain and I will be fine in a few seconds, then I think I want to do it.¡± He looked at Geoff before adding, ¡°And he''s far worse off than me... I know he would want to wake up whole rather than crippled and in pain. I vote we do it.¡± We all looked to Gina. Without me voting, it would be the three of them, Tessa clearly didn''t like the idea, Gary was on board, so Gina was the tiebreaker. She squeezed her eyes shut and spoke in a rush, ¡°I can''t fix him. I can''t even fix Gary... This is my fault¡­ Let¡¯s do it before he wakes up; we need to make it quick, painless.¡± Tessa stormed out of the room, slamming the door. We all looked after her for a moment before Lilith asked, "Alright, so how do we do this?¡± We discussed for a while about the best ways to kill each other. I was beginning to join Gina in feeling sick by the time we had settled on a couple of options. I suggested the rock fall; it would be expensive to reset, but I had already verified its efficiency and painlessness. Gary had a cheaper idea, but there was no way it would work. He suggested the strongest minion crush their heads with a rock... Yeah, aside from being brutal as hell, the only monsters that might be able to do that were Tessa and Terry. If I suggested that to them, then Tessa might just test it out on me first. Gina really didn''t want to talk at all, but after Gary''s suggestion, she spoke up, probably to stop us from doing something ridiculous. Her idea was to suffocate them, not in the traditional sense, but in a hole with bad air. It shocked me to find out the goblins knew about things like CO2 poisoning, but that wouldn''t work. We didn¡¯t need to breathe. As we debated euthanasia strategies, Gale barged in, looking very much like the time she had yelled at me about paper. ¡°What did you do to my rock?¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡± Right, I needed to tell her I had decided to spare her having to trip the traps. ¡°I''m sorry?¡± ¡°Fix it! Whatever you did, that thing is a mess." She suddenly got much more quiet, ¡°It saved us...¡±Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. Damn, she was right. I had changed the trap to keep her from fighting, but that trap had kept us alive twice now. SHE had kept us alive twice now. I fixed something that wasn¡¯t broken. I tried to placate the enraged goblin, ¡°Help me fix it up once we are done here, so you don''t have to trigger it, alright? Oh¡­ and the one on the second floor too.¡± She didn''t know about the cable trap yet, and her eyes widened. She almost ran off to inspect the trap right then, but stopped and looked over her shoulder, ¡°I am sorry... But¡­ Not for dropping the rock... not anymore.¡± She let out a sigh and spoke again, ¡°I want to fight. I want to protect my family. All of us. I¡¯m going to fix your butchery of my traps; I''ll make sure they trigger without me. Then I''m going to level up and have Gary teach me to fight. Next time I''ll fight back with my own hands.¡± Before I could say anything, she darted off. I really didn''t know what to do about Gale, and the only two people I felt comfortable asking were Geoff, who was out, and Tessa, who was probably leaving with Terry right now. That was when the scouts returned. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 5 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 125 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 2 Deer corpses, 2 Rabbit corpses, Bird corpse, 7 Stinkweed stalks, 12 oz. of Death¡¯s Kiss berries, 5 oz. Hunter''s rest berries Wave duration: 3:12:11 Wave reward: 2 copper 15 tin Loot value: 2 silver 32 copper 12 tin Convert Loot to mana coins? I almost confirmed on reflex when I saw the loot value, but then I read the loot itself, and an idea took root. I asked Gina what she thought, and she quickly changed her mood; apparently, this would work wonders. A short time later, we had brought all of the dungeon into the bunk room. That was Tessa''s demand. If we were going to do this, then everyone should know what and why. Gina had me make cups and some tools for her to work with medicines, then claimed my empty boss chamber to work in peace while we explained the plan to the goblins. ¡°Do you all remember what Death''s Kiss berries do?¡± There was a wave of nodding and noises of affirmation. Then I made eye contact with Gabriel; he would be the hardest to convince. ¡°Do you all remember when Gabriel, and when I died?¡± Gabriel grimaced but nodded along with the rest. ¡°We came back to life, healthy. Death''s kiss will kill painlessly, and Gina is mixing something to speed the process up as well. I want to give it to Geoff and Gary. Then they will come back whole.¡± The goblins began shuffling and muttering uncomfortably. Gary spoke up then, ¡°It''s better this way. We either stay useless and suffer, or we drink Gina''s potion and we come back, good as new.¡± Gary pounded his chest as if to demonstrate his words... but we hadn¡¯t done anything yet, and he winced in pain as his broken arm shifted. Gary had called the mixture a potion? Was that what this was? This was a fantasy world, so... why not? What was the difference between a potion and medicine? Was there one? Gina returned after a short time in the other room, bearing two stone cups. I really needed glass. Maybe the trolls would have some. Gary didn''t wait and downed his cup without ceremony. Everyone watched him expectantly. The berries were supposed to take an hour to take effect without any prep work, but that was on living goblins. It was possible this wouldn''t even work on a zombie. Gary''s eyelids started to droop and he began to wobble. Shakily he took a seat. Less than a minute passed from when Gary drank the poison to when he stood up from his bed on the other side of the room. His corpse remained in the seat. Holy shit¡­ The implications here were insane. My mind raced as I tried to consider all the possibilities. For one thing, we had just created a new body for Gary, but the old one still existed. Not only was this a way to ¡®heal,'' but we could make corpses this way. I didn''t have a use for a pile of dead Garys right now, but who could say what the future held? That made me think about the not-Tessa with Kasumi. Did we do something similar to her when we made her a zombie? If the zombie infection killed a dungeon monster before turning the body into a zombie, then did that mean the original was respawned as well? If that was the case, then I might be able to recruit a living monster and repeatedly turn it into a zombie. It would really, really suck for the original, who would have to die... a lot, but I could make infinite zombies. What about something similar, but without the zombie infection? When did death register for the respawning to occur? Back on Earth, medical science could bring someone back who was ¡®dead'' minutes after their heart had stopped before their brain became too damaged to function properly. If I made a defibrillator and then used it on a normal dungeon monster whose heart had recently stopped, would I get two of that monster via the respawn? Dungeon-based magical cloning was a scary rabbit hole. Some of these loopholes and exploits had a very mad scientist, evil wizard, flavor to them. It would be very easy to become a supervillain. Lilith brought me back to reality as the goblins prepared to administer the potion to Geoff, ¡°You should absorb some of that to unlock it before they use it, and the other loot they brought back too.¡± I stopped time and did just that. I could see the value in being able to recreate a ¡®die in a single minute'' potion at will. I replaced the potion after unlocking it as a material, and none of the goblins even noticed anything as I confirmed and the world resumed. Geoff was a bit more difficult to deal with. I had no idea how to make an unconscious person drink a liquid. I knew feeding tubes existed, but even that was beyond me. The goblins had no idea either. Eventually, Gina had us sit him up, and she slowly poured the liquid into his mouth. I suggested massaging his throat to stimulate a swallow reflex. I think I had read that was a thing somewhere. It took some effort, and Geoff spit up most of what we fed him, but before we had managed to get the whole cup down him, he respawned. One thing we hadn''t considered was where he would respawn. Thus far, everyone had respawned in their own bed. When the magical dungeon system decided where your bed was for respawning purposes was a mystery, but it worked well enough. Well, Geoff was IN his bed when he died. The dungeon didn''t care what was in the way; by god, it WAS going to spawn him in that bed. The result was¡­ messy. Geoff spawned halfway inside Geoff. The redead body exploded from the waist down, throwing gore all across the room. Gina was knocked back and off the bed; even Tessa slid back from where she had been holding him up. Fortunately, the only casualty was the body, and the newly spawned zombie was unharmed. If Geoff had been killed by his own body being in the way when he spawned, it was possible he would spawn inside the remains of two of his bodies. How long would it take to fill the room with blended zombie? Would it stop? I didn''t want to find out. It was a mess in more ways than one, but we had done it. Geoff, Gary, and I had all been bad off after Terrence''s rampage, but now we were all back in fighting shape. I quickly cleaned up the mess in the construction interface, saving hours of mopping. Then we went to rest again. It seemed like my days in this world were so much longer than on Earth. So much was happening all the time. How did larger dungeons manage it? Before I could slip into my torpor, Gale tapped me on the arm. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°We need to fix the traps before something invades again. Your triggers won''t work.¡± I sighed and dragged myself back out to follow the taskmaster. Gale led me back out to the rock fall room and asked what was even going on. She may have used the phrase ¡®cluster fuck.'' I just shrugged and asked what her solution was. I didn¡¯t have the mental energy to think or discuss anymore, so I just did what she told me to. Her solution was pretty elegant. We removed all my nonsense and instead installed a trigger she drew out. It relied on a quick-release mechanism that I did not understand. It could all be easily tied to the trip wire and would work even faster than someone could cut it with a knife. The same device was used to trigger the cable room trap but had to be manually triggered to avoid the trap power errors. When we finished, and Gale was through making me apologize for ¡°fuckering up" all her traps, she told me she would be leveling up. ¡°You can level up? How?¡± ¡°Mana coins¡­ I have enough.¡± ¡°How? How many does it take?¡± She looked at me in disbelief and said, ¡°How do you not know how this works? I have ten tin coins; that''s how many it takes to level up to level two.¡± So... was this like how Lilith leveled up? And how did she have ten tin already? Her pay rate was only one a day like the rest of the goblins. She reached into a satchel that I hadn''t noticed her carrying and produced ten tin coins, just as she had claimed. Then she popped them all into her mouth, literally eating them. A dungeon minion has leveled up Gale: Level 1-2 Pay rate remains the same Gale nodded to me, promised to train hard with Gary so she could protect everyone, and went to rest with the others. So was that how everything leveled? I still had a level before I reached the maximum boss level, so could I do that too? Might as well try, right? Dungeon Boss level up Rob: Level 3-4 No new abilities I felt... stronger. It was hard to describe. I felt like I could lift more and punch harder, but it was more than that. I WAS more. I supposed I had better be more. Whether it was because of the level difference, or because I was a dungeon boss, or something else, it had taken me more than ten tin. I had to eat forty tin before the level kicked in. The coins tasted just as I would imagine they should based on the name. I had never licked tin before, but it tasted metallic. There was also a bit of a tingling sensation each time I placed a coin on my tongue. I supposed that was the mana. Well, one step closer to tiering up, right? Hopefully, we could get strong enough to challenge Kasumi in a week. We had to; what other choice did we have? 15. Hunter 15 Hunter The next morning I was broken from my torpor by Terry shaking me. ¡°Momma says you gotta get up; Gabe and Gabby are about to tell a story.¡± It took a moment to translate the childish troll''s words. Gabriel and Gabrielle were about to tell the dungeon monsters about the humans and their settlement. The fact that they were telling everyone, and not just myself or Geoff, was promising. Hell, the fact that they had returned whole and not in a panic was promising. Until now I hadn¡¯t given it much thought; the whole Kool-Aid suicide thing of the night before was just a bit more pressing. Still, their mission seemed to have gone off without a hitch. Storytime was taking place outside. The goblins and trolls seemed to spend a lot of time outside, which went directly against my preconception of zombies lurking in the dark. It was good that they enjoyed the fresh air, but if Kasumi had scouts, then it was possible she would find out about Tessa and Terry unless they hid underground. Looking at Terry bouncing excitedly though, I decided to leave it. If that turned into a problem, then so be it. I wasn''t going to make them hide all the time. The entire dungeon was awake and milling about on the surface, once again having risen before me. Once Geoff saw that I had joined them and everyone was accounted for, he started calling out to gather around. Gabriel and Gabrielle... Maybe Terry had the right idea, shortening their names to Gabe and Gabby, stood up in front of the congregation as Geoff joined the seated monsters. Gabby started their tale, ¡°You all know, yesterday we left to return the human girl to her people. Gabriel knew about where the village was, so we left in that direction. The girl and her squirrel kept trying to talk to us the entire time. We couldn''t understand a word of it, but they didn''t stop until we could see the buildings of the village. It didn''t take long though; they are far closer than we thought.¡± Gabriel cleared his throat and took over, ¡°I knew their direction, but I didn''t know exactly where we were. When Geoff brought us here, we were a bit too... preoccupied to keep our bearings. Anyway, the humans... they are about an hour''s walk to the south.¡± He paused to let everyone take that in. That really was close. In the trees and brush, an hour of walking was barely beyond visual range. If I climbed to the treetops, I could probably see smoke from chimneys or other fires, if not the buildings themselves. That was dangerous. People didn''t tolerate threats so close to home, and we were a threat to the humans, to be sure. If the humans found us, we would be exterminated out of hand. That would solve the Tier requirements, as we would defend ourselves before rolling over and dying. But I had no doubt they would outmatch us. Gabe continued, ¡°The girl took the squirrel and ran off into the settlement, but we stuck around to have a look. The humans are many, and they have weapons. They train all day with their axes and hammers. They build great houses, killing the forest as they go.¡± I held up a hand, interrupting, ¡°They train all day... building houses?¡± Gabby nodded gravely, ¡°They hack and cut at the trees with axes, then others drag the logs off where they cut them up even more. Eventually, they build giant homes and pound on the walls with hammers. It looked like some strange ritual to me, but Gabriel thinks they are training.¡± I laughed; I couldn¡¯t help it. I asked another question to confirm my suspicion, ¡°You said they are many... how many?¡± Gabe was scowling at my laughter but answered nonetheless, ¡°Too many to count; Gabrielle and I both made it through all our fingers and toes, and still there were more.¡± Geoff actually face-palmed before speaking, ¡°Please don''t judge us all by these two''s... mathematics skills.¡± Now they were both scowling. To be fair, they were both competent scouts and fighters; they even knew of herbs and plants that Gina didn''t. Not everyone could be good at everything. They just weren''t great at numbers. I waved at them to continue, ¡°That''s fine, you both counted all your fingers and toes, that means there are at least forty of them, keep going.¡± The two goblins looked at each other nervously for a moment before Gabby clarified, "Twenty... we both counted separately... There are more than twenty of them... we made doubly sure of that.¡± That did it. I had to cough and turn my head just to keep from rolling with laughter now. I had been wondering when it would happen, and that did it. I could no longer be surprised by the utter nonsense in this world. I wasn''t even going to try and explain the concept of logging and construction to them; it wasn''t worth the breath I would waste. When no one had anything to add to that statement, Gabe pressed on with the story, ¡°They didn''t spot us, and none of the humans seemed to be preparing for war. It was getting too dark and nothing new happened, so we came back. We knew you needed some herbs and animals for food, even though we don''t need to eat¡­¡± There was something in the goblin''s face there; I couldn''t identify it properly, but it looked like... regret? Then Gabby finished the epic tale, ¡°So we gathered what we could on the way, and here we are.¡± Gerald started to clap enthusiastically before noticing he was the only one. He quickly stopped and made a serious face, nodding solemnly. I was deep in thought. Despite the goblins'' words, that sounded like a small, and probably recent, settlement. If not for the construction and logging, it might even be mistaken for a large camp. That was good and bad. We might actually stand a chance in a full-out conflict, though I hoped it wouldn''t come to that. However, settlements like that weren''t isolated, not really. Someone had probably sent them out here, possibly with the intention of forming a new settlement, maybe something else. If something like a dungeon being nearby came to light, there would surely be word sent back, and that would mean more people. Worse, being in a forest limited what they could be here for. Farming in a forest wasn''t feasible, so they might be a hunting village, or perhaps they would continue logging beyond their own needs. Or maybe they were going to be more like a gathering place for dungeon-slaying adventurers. Regardless of intention, this meant the dungeon wouldn''t be a secret much longer. Geoff stood in front of the group again and asked the question we all had, ¡°So, how do we handle this?¡± Gary made a suggestion after no one else seemed inclined to, ¡°Can''t we take out the village? That would solve all the problems.¡± ¡°That isn''t going to happen.¡± Tessa declined shortly. I sighed and elaborated, ¡°It would be too dangerous, and... that¡¯s what the trolls did to you.¡± I didn''t need to continue; Gary looked to be regretting the suggestion already. ¡°What about the plan from before? That amulet lets you speak to humans, right? Let''s just talk to them; surely they will see reason. Maybe we can even convince them to handle the troll dungeon for us.¡± Geoff made his own suggestion.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. That was a good point; in all of this chaos, I had forgotten why I was so excited about the amulet in the first place. A village that small probably wouldn''t have a criminal to put to death, but conversation would be a good first step regardless. Ask and ye shall receive, or something like that. As we sat there conversing, sudden shouting from out in the woods drew our attention. The words weren¡¯t intelligible, but two things were apparent from them. The one shouting was human, and the one shouting was angry. An arrow sailed out of the trees, missing us all by a wide margin. Then another, smaller, more familiar voice shouted. While the two voices argued loudly, still out of sight, the dungeon monsters prepared for battle. Several weapons were brought out, and the goblins crammed themselves behind the dungeon entrance, sheltering from more possible arrows. I managed to remember the construction interface without prompting this time and quickly erected small bunker-like buildings around the edges of the clearing. Fortunately, they didn''t count as rooms, just terrain, so long as I kept one side open. It was suddenly clear how absolutely broken the construction interface could be in a siege. Bunkers, traps, tunnels, and cover could be created and destroyed on demand. The cost would be high, but reactive fortifications would be one hell of an advantage. The goblins realized the usefulness of the bunkers¡¯ shelter and took cover within them. No further arrows came though. Instead, the first voice called out again, less angry now, more wary. I still couldn''t understand it. I needed to be able to see someone in order to target them with the amulet, and the humans were hiding in the trees. There was no way to communicate our inability to communicate, though. So we just waited. They too waited. Much waiting occurred. Finally, the human took the first step out where I could see him. The man was tall and wiry. His clean-shaven head must have been polished or something as the light reflected off it like a disco ball. I couldn''t even see his clothes through the glare. We were under the shade of trees, and that thing still blinded. I managed to finally target the man though and called back, "Hello, human! We don''t want any trouble. Can we talk?¡± Rather than the man, the response came from a tiny troublemaker. Cynthia dashed out from the trees and into the clearing. The girl still held Squirrely McSquirrel in a bear hug. The squirrel hung limply, all of his previous vim drained away. As Cynthia rushed to greet the zombie monster horde, the bow-wielding man chased her with a terrified look on his face. Cynthia started talking, and I could understand her, which told me the amulet worked on the language of the targeted, not just the person. Not exactly what I had expected, but helpful nonetheless. ¡°Hi, Mr. Rob. Papa saw me come back from the woods, so I had to tell him where I went. I brought him, and you can meet each other now!¡± The papa in question stopped just behind his daughter, resting a hand on her shoulder, "Come, Cyn, these are monsters. Back home now. We can come back later to... talk.¡± The man didn''t seem to realize I could understand him, just trying to get his daughter away. I raised my hands in surrender, only realizing that might look threatening coming from a zombie when he flinched back, pulling Cynthia away in a hurry. We needed to stop him fast. If he left like this, then more would come, and it would become a shitshow. ¡°Hey sorry, nice to meet you; I¡¯m Rob. I might look like a monster, but I¡¯m a perfectly reasonable person, I promise.¡± He looked around like he expected there to be someone playing a joke on him. Not finding any such prankster, he gazed at me in confusion. Cynthia cheerfully spoke up again, ¡°Papa, I told you Rob was nice. All of them are.¡± I looked at the man closer so I could call him something aside from Papa in my head. Name: Hunter Classification: Hunter Race: Human Level: 12 Hunter the hunter glanced around again, looking for the ¡®all of them'' Cynthia mentioned. The goblins and trolls remained hidden, which I was thankful for. ¡°You can talk?¡± Hunter asked. He still didn''t sound like he expected an answer. I had to surprise him then, ¡°Yup, and I don''t want any trouble. Me and my friends mean no harm.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a monster¡­¡± I nodded slowly, ¡°You are a human... Now that the obvious bits are done, can we talk about... not killing each other?¡± ¡°Monsters can''t talk.¡± It seemed like we had broken Hunter already. I looked down at Cynthia for help, and she just grinned back at me. The squirrel flipped me off; it seemed that was a thing in this world as well. Fortunately, Hunter recovered somewhat, ¡°Not killing each other¡­ that would be good¡­¡± I grasped the lifeline, ¡°Great! Can you speak for your village?¡± ¡°The village! I have to tell them!¡± Before I could stop him, Hunter had snatched up Cynthia and her fluffy passenger and dashed off into the trees. As soon as the humans were out of earshot, I put the dungeon on high alert. ¡°Everyone! Code red!¡± Someone asked, ¡°What¡¯s a code red?¡± ¡°It means, prepare for battle; shit is about to get real!¡± The panic and hustle were wasted though. Everyone was already mostly ready for a fight, and the human village was an hour''s walk away. That meant we had about two hours before anyone could show up. Once the tension began to fade, Gale found me and launched into a sales pitch, ¡°I have more traps. If we set some of them up out here now, then they should work when the humans come.¡± I didn''t really need convincing, though, and readily agreed. Gale had been spending all her time split between drawing up plans for traps and training with a wicked-looking spiked hammer that Gregory had put together from my junk weapons. At this point, I wasn''t going to question her traps, so I followed along quietly as she explained her drawings. Many of her traps and what looked to be siege weapons would need parts that Gale didn''t trust me to make. She had been working with Gregory, the smith-to-be, making plans on things they could make when I got around to setting up a forge and a workshop. Until that time though, Gale had a dozen or so traps that ¡®Even I couldn''t mess up'' as she put it. I had as much time as necessary in the interface, so I placed what she described where she told me to. Around the entire clearing, we made a trench. It wasn¡¯t very deep but would take some time to climb up the side and out. Within the trench was a slurry of animal fat and dried grass. A small-scale test showed that the mess was nearly impossible to move through without slipping and sliding and would burn hot and fast with just a single torch. Next, she had me build a tower of wood disguised as a tree. Within the tree was a ladder with several landings and small arrow slits. We didn''t have bows or arrows, but thrown and dropped rocks could do wonders as well. I checked with Lilith, and this tree tower thing counted for the dungeon height Tier Up requirement as long as I attached it to the dungeon. Bonus. Last was a joint effort between Gale and Gina. Between the trench of greasy fire and the tree of falling stones was the clearing. At their instruction, I scattered several caltrop-like things. Small spike clusters made of the cheap junk iron I could churn out. Before dropping each caltrop, though, Gina dipped it into the quick death potion she had made. The spikes would be a pain to clean up later, and if it rained, they would be washed clean, but for now, they would be a nasty little surprise if someone rushed the dungeon. Once the preparations were made, we resumed our waiting. Most of the dungeon monsters were inside the tower. The only exceptions were myself, Geoff, and Gale. Gale held a torch; she insisted on being the trap springer again, and it would only take a moment to toss into the new mud trench. Geoff and I were going to try and head off the conflict with words and diplomacy. If it was possible, fighting would be best avoided. Four hours we waited before Hunter, Cynthia, and one more returned. The newcomer was an older man with an impressive white beard and the classic old man bald patch splitting the white hair on the sides of his head. He wore gray robes that covered him from shoulder to feet, really leaning into the ancient village elder vibe. He looked like Father Time''s grandfather. ¡°Hello, the dungeon!¡± The old man''s voice was surprisingly clear and deep. His words were dangerous though; he knew this was a dungeon. I waved, "Hello, the¡­ old guy¡­¡± He chuckled merrily, a good sign, ¡°Old indeed, so very old... Do you know, in all my years, I have only heard tales of talking dungeon bosses, never seen it?¡± ¡°Right¡­ well¡­ hello again¡­¡± ¡°Hello¡­ By any chance, do you know which dungeons are supposed to be able to talk?¡± I shook my head, at the very least this wasn''t immediately dangerous, they were talking and not burning things after all. ¡°According to rumors, every dungeon that can talk is the seat of a powerful human kingdom. Every single one. Ostensibly, this land belongs to the Kingdom of Bansolow. Within the city of Bansolow lies one of the largest and most powerful dungeons in existence. It is because of that dungeon cooperating with the royal family that such power can be achieved. Are you the sort of dungeon that cooperates?¡± There was a loaded question, if ever I had heard one. I still didn''t have this old bastard''s name, but he had just dropped some serious trouble on me. This kingdom was likely the one who had sent these people out to these woods. He had not said they were loyal to this Bansolow place, though, and that seemed deliberate. There was a glint in the old man''s eyes. Greed? Ambition? Siding with the village might be siding against that kingdom. Did I have a choice though? The threat in those words was also clear. ¡®Are you the sort of dungeon that cooperates?¡¯ If I wasn¡¯t the sort that cooperated, then the humans would also be uncooperative. The old man was smart and probably very dangerous to allies and enemies alike, but I didn¡¯t have a choice. I found myself nodding. Who could say what deal I was making with this devil, but desperate times and measures and all that. The old man reached out to shake my hand with a sly smile. As we shook, I got close enough to examine him. Name: Shale Classification: Herald of Revolution Race: Human? Level: 101 16. Dangerous Dealings 16 Dangerous Dealings As I shook Shale''s hand, his grin remained slightly off. He hadn''t directly said anything dangerous, but he made several implications and had a look of relaxed confidence. The sort of look someone wore when they knew the rest of the moves in the game, they knew they had won, and were only still at the table to watch the impotent struggles of the defeated. He spoke, "So... As I said, I¡¯ve never met a speaking dungeon. I only know what I have heard. What can you offer me, and what do you need?¡± I hadn''t been planning on it playing out like this. What did I need from the humans? More materials, and maybe their criminals for the Tier Up requirements¡ªwas there anything else? Probably. I was only at the second Tier, so this ¡®kill one human'' thing was probably only the start of the tricky requirements. And what did I have to offer? That was easier; I could mass-produce any material I had access to. The only cost to me was material weight and mana coins. There was a lot of potential when it came to working with outsiders to ¡®cheat'' the system. That was probably what happened with these other intelligent dungeons. Find a loophole that allows the dungeon to grow rapidly and make things for the humans in trade. Both sides would benefit in the extreme. The balance of power was delicate though, dangerously so. If done incorrectly, any trade deal could go sour, and either the humans or the dungeon could crush the other. Civil wars within single giant cities between the strongest entities in the kingdom. It would be a game of subtle advantages and quiet betrayals, right up until one side eclipsed the other in power. If we were to be in a deal like that with this village, this Shale, then we would be starting already disadvantaged. Shale was level one hundred one. If human strength grew with their levels at anything like the rate of monsters¡¯ levels, we wouldn''t be able to handle Shale for a long, long time, if ever. I decided to play dumb; hopefully he didn''t know how much we could offer, ¡°Not sure what you need that we have; we might be able to deal with any criminals you have. We could use some supplies though.¡± It was a risky gamble, making it sound like dealing with their criminals for them would be a service for them. Shale wasn¡¯t fooled. He pondered for a moment before making his offer, ¡°Criminals? What could you want with people... Aha, undead! You intend to grow your numbers by turning humans... That might just work. And supplies¡­ So you can''t create anything you want at any time... Very well. My offer is this: we will deliver materials that you may use to build your dungeon. Stone, wood, metals, that sort of thing. As for living bodies, we might be able to work something out. In return, I assume you will be able to supply dungeon loot? Enchanted items, coins, and other such valuables. How does this work for you?¡± Shale''s insight was off slightly, and it was clear he really didn''t know exactly what dungeons could provide, but he was close enough. Enchanted items would be a problem. I hadn¡¯t worked out how, or if, that was possible yet. I spoke mentally with Lilith, ¡°Can we make enchantments? How?¡± ¡°Yes, but... it''s complicated. It''s best to think of enchantments as just another material. If you want a fire-enchanted sword, you need the metal, the leather, and even the oils for the blade. AND you need the specific fire magic enchantment. Every enchantment is very specific, and even small changes would be an entirely new ¡®material'' that needs to be unlocked. They are very expensive to unlock without a sample as well. Very expensive.¡± I had to word my reply to Shale very carefully; we needed to minimize the information we gave him, ¡°I can do coins and probably gems and jewelry, but enchanted items will take some time.¡± Shale ran his fingers through his beard as he thought on my counteroffer. Finally, he nodded, ¡°Acceptable, I will have Hunter here escort a group of woodsmen as they clear a path between the village and your dungeon. We can work out the specific prices for each material and how much you will need over the next few days.¡± With that Shale spun on his heel, robes billowing out dramatically, and returned the way they had come. Hunter and Cynthia scurried off after him barely having been acknowledged during the tense meeting. ¡°Well¡­ that¡¯s boring... I wanted to burn the trench.¡± Gale moped. I shrugged, ¡°It was a good idea. We need to get money flowing so I can make some more of your traps. And... the workshop, the forge I promised to Gregory, apparently enchanted items, and probably a dozen other things.¡± Geoff looked confused and asked, ¡°Why didn''t you ask for more expensive stuff from the humans? Metal might be good, but stone and wood aren¡¯t worth much, right?¡± I nodded, ¡°We won''t get as much as we could, but it will still be valuable, and they don¡¯t know we will be turning it into money; they think we are actually building with it.¡± As we walked back to the dungeon deep in conversation, Squirrely McSquirrel came scurrying back into the clearing, startling us. He chattered angrily. With a sigh, I targeted the little menace with the amulet. ¡°¡­ry up and target me already. I don¡¯t have all day, you simpleton!¡± ¡°What do you want?¡± ¡°Finally! Open the portal to the market again.¡± He said. ¡°I thought you were out of money. What do you want to go to the market for?¡± ¡°Just do it; I''m in a hurry.¡± I looked at the fluffy rodent skeptically, ¡°I don''t know. It says you¡¯re a representative of the dungeon when you''re in there. I don¡¯t think I want you representing me in anything¡­ You''re kind of an asshole.¡± With his paws on tiny hips, the squirrel¡¯s glare was far less intimidating than he probably intended, ¡°You want me to go to the market. Just like last time, it¡¯s for your benefit. I swear by every god and every ascended Master Dungeon that I will Tier you up so I can speak to the mistress directly. No matter how hard you try to screw it up.¡± The mistress again. He was talking about Lilith, but what was their relationship? She said she didn''t remember him. One thing was sure though: the squirrel HAD been helpful so far, even if he was a misguided little psycho. ¡°Alright, fine. But hurry it up, will you?¡± I didn''t need him to hurry, but the less time the squirrel spent doing shady stuff, the better I would feel. I also sent out Gabby and Gabe on another gathering mission. Once the dungeon had more Tiers, I could expand our gathering operations, but for now, the limit of the power I could field at one time was the two of them. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 6 A short time later I opened the magic doorway into another city street, but it was clearly a different one than the last time. I wondered if the doors were random or if there was some pattern to them. If thousands of doorways popped up randomly in the streets, it would become an issue pretty quickly. I couldn''t close the door while someone was in the city, and presumably, the other dungeons had a similar restriction. Each person in the crowded city would have a randomly floating door somewhere. It must have been very common too, because monsters flowed around the portal on either side, like a stream parting around a rock. None of them even hesitated or looked surprised at the roadblock in their path. I noted that it was dark on the other side of the portal, just like last time. I couldn¡¯t see a moon or stars, so it followed that there wouldn¡¯t be a sun. Where they got heat and energy from... or if they even actually needed that sort of thing with magic being a reality, I couldn''t say. I tried to identify some of the passing monsters, but it didn¡¯t work. Either it wouldn¡¯t work in this other dimension or I couldn¡¯t use the ability through portals.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. Squirrely was even quicker this time than the last, only taking a few minutes at most. As he left the portal, he didn¡¯t stop by me, instead rushing back out of the room and up the stairs to the outside. I was slow in following because I had to close the door, and when I made it back outside, the squirrel was nowhere in sight. The little bastard didn''t even say anything; he just took off as soon as he had returned. With a shrug, I moved on to find Gale and Gregg. The Gabe and Gabby nicknames were working well for me, so I was going to shorten all of the longer names now; Gregory was now Gregg in my head. With Gale and Gregg¡¯s help, we planned out the rooms I had promised them. I didn''t have the money right now, but at least we could make plans. The major issue with the promised rooms was that they were plural. I had two rooms promised to the goblins, a workshop, and a forge, but I had used five of the maximum of six rooms I could build at this Tier. The rock fall room, the bunk room, the boss chamber, the stairs to the lower floor, and the cable trap boss key room. The solution was the same as we had used for the bunk room. Shared space. That being said, there were a few issues with that still. The forge room wouldn''t be able to share a space with any other room; there would be too much noise and heat. Similarly, the rock fall and cable trap rooms were dangerous to everyone and everything within, so they couldn¡¯t be shared. The three of us drew up a map and talked through the problems and some solutions, eventually coming to a satisfying conclusion. When we got the money, hopefully soon, the boss chamber would become the forge. No one used that room normally, save for Gina mixing her potions and poisons, but she could just clear out the bunk room for that. The stair room connecting the floors, which was technically the first room on the second floor, was very small, unnecessarily so. We could expand that room and make it into something of its own later. Gale didn¡¯t want to use it as her workshop though because it was too readily accessible from the surface. Any invaders would visit the stair room second, right after the rock fall, and all of her tools and projects would be out in the open for vandals or thieves. Instead, she insisted on being given the last room I had available. With that in mind, I penciled in a workshop room behind the cable room with a locked door between. I ¡®penciled¡¯ it in with the tip of my finger in the dirt map we had made, a fact that Gale pointed out before demanding paper and ink again. There were a few things that would need testing to make sure it would work before I built the changes in. Like ventilation. The forge would need solid ventilation to keep it from becoming another quick way to end zombie lives. Geoff joined the brainstorming session at one point and gave some suggestions and requests that the other goblins had made. On his suggestion, I would also be adding partitions to the bunk room. That would separate the spaces but not count as additional rooms. Gerald wanted a rec room for games, socializing, and basically everything that the bunk room hosted now, but away from the sleeping area. Gina wanted a proper area to work with medicines and poisons in peace, and Gary wanted a training room outfitted with padded floors and walls, training dummies, wooden weapons, and a bunch of other probably expensive things. The partitions made the short list of upgrades, but most of the other changes he suggested would have to wait for now. They were luxuries, not necessities, not yet anyway. The planning took most of the day and only concluded just before the herb-gathering siblings returned. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 13 Stinkweed stalks, 22 oz. of Death¡¯s Kiss berries, 35 oz. Hunter''s rest berries, 3 Raven''s eggs, 5 oz. Bear scat, 1 Gilded Truffle Wave duration: 7:10:35 Wave reward: 5 copper 5 tin Loot value: 32 silver 2 copper 23 tin Convert Loot to mana coins? The amount they had brought back was surprising¡ªfar more than before. Even considering that, the value was too high. One of the new things must have been expensive. It didn¡¯t take a genius to figure out it was the Gilded Truffle thing. Leaving the prompt hanging for the moment, I gathered Gina and Geoff, the two who knew most about the area''s plants, and met the returnees outside. I immediately realized how they had managed to carry so much more this time. Someone had fashioned sacks and satchels from animal skins. I winced as I remembered adding those to my list of things to make, but never actually doing so. No one had brought it up, instead just solving the problem themselves. It was good they were working and solving problems themselves, but I had noticed and decided to fix the problem, and totally forgot. I needed to do better. Gabby smiled wide as she opened her bag to show what must''ve been the Gilded Truffle resting on top. Gina didn''t speak; she snarled and lunged at the bag. I was too shocked to stop her, and Gabby only smiled wider as the bag was torn from her hands. ¡°What the hell is it?¡± I asked. Gina shot me a glare before turning back to cradle her prize. Geoff answered for her, ¡°Golden mushroom, very rare. Hmmm¡­ how best to explain¡­¡± He looked around thoughtfully for a moment before continuing, ¡°Remember Terry? Before he joined us.¡± He made a gesture and splat noise. Geoff was talking about when Terry had been smashed in two pieces and then proceeded to grow new legs while his legs grew a new body. ¡°Well, if something like that happens to a goblin... or any monster besides a troll, really, a small bite of a Golden Mushroom would bring them back, like Terry. Well, almost. You won''t be making more goblins, but they will heal from just about anything.¡± Troll regeneration, even for regular monsters... I went into the construction interface and absorbed the Truffle immediately. When I returned time to normal, Gina shrieked. Right... probably would have been better to warn her. ¡°Relax! I absorbed it, so I can make more now.¡± That declaration shocked all of the goblins. ¡°R¡­ Really?¡± Gabby whispered. I nodded, and Gina, still making strange animal noises, grabbed my shirt and started shaking me, ¡°SHOW ME!¡± I rolled my eyes and did as she asked, plonking out a new truffle on top of her head, but before confirming, I noted the cost... I couldn''t afford it. Until now I hadn''t paid any attention to how the value of foraged loot matched up with the cost of reproducing it. The still hovering loot prompt had changed when I absorbed the truffle, indicating it was worth twenty silver on its own; the cost to remake it was triple that. When I returned empty-handed, I cleared my throat, "I, uh¡­ I can''t afford it right now, maybe later¡­ but I CAN make it, I promise.¡± Gina had murder in her eyes, but Geoff rolled his own and pried her away. Now that I was thinking about it, there was another possible mystery in this new load. The eggs. If the eggs were viable, then could I recreate them and make more eggs that could hatch into ravens? Before anyone could try to strangle me again, I quickly absorbed one of the eggs and replaced it with one of my own making. If this worked, I could test a bunch of ideas about how monsters and minions worked. I had no idea how long raven eggs had to incubate for, nor how to do so safely, but it was worth a shot. Now to test another question I had, how the system decided what was loot for converting. I declined the conversion prompt and separated the eggs out. Then had the goblins take the satchels back out of the area, hoping to get the loot notice, but the ¡®loot'' must have counted as ours now, and it wouldn''t let me convert into mana coins when they brought it back. So I had screwed myself out of a bunch of money, but at least I had unlocked some new stuff and answered a few questions. The main prizes were the unlocking of the truffle and the possible egg situation. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms Suddenly, I was inside the dark boss chamber. We were just outside¡­ right in front of the dungeon entrance, surrounded by poisoned caltrops and a trench of grease. How was there an invader now? A loud crash sounded somewhere in the dungeon, probably the rock trap. But no invasion-defeated notice popped up. Then another crash, followed by goblins screaming, and then a blood-chilling roar. Lilith spoke, sounding confused, "That... someone... A monster just called my name in a demonic language?¡± I finally gathered myself and stepped out into the bunk room. Waiting there was Squirrely McSquirrel, riding on the shoulder of a terrifying creature. The massive thing had scaled black skin that seemed to absorb the dim torchlight; ivory tusks jutted at odd angles from a lipless, toothy mouth, and claws as long as my hand sprouted from its own twisted, gnarly hands. A bipedal, scaled mutant pig. It stood hunched over because the ceiling, ten feet up, was too low for it. Name: Derrick Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Demon Level: 63 Did the damn squirrel recruit help to get revenge on me? That didn''t make sense. I thought it was trying to Tier me up. Also¡­ a fucking Demon?! What the hell, man? How was I supposed to survive long enough to get stronger and defend myself if Demons and people like Shale were running around? The toothy maw of the monster gaped, and spittle flew as it shook the walls with a roar. Lilith spoke aloud, ¡°Really? But how?¡± ¡°What?" I asked, but no one was paying me any attention. Another roar sent me into a stumble. Lilith responded, apparently talking to the demon and not translating for me, ¡°Who? You? Is that possible?¡± The next... Demon sentence? Was quieter, more like a growl, though it still shook my bones. Lilith didn''t answer right away. The moment stretched, and I couldn''t break the silence. Something was happening here, something important, and it felt dangerous to interrupt. Finally, Lilith answered, and she seemed to speak at length, probably so I could understand a bit of the conversation I had just missed, "No... I think Rob is a good choice. I don''t want to start over again; I want to keep my memories and stay with Rob.¡± The demon stood perfectly still for a moment, not even breathing. Then it spoke, it didn¡¯t roar or growl like before, it spoke. In English. Not even humans spoke English in this world. The words sounded in my mind and the room alike, dozens of voices, all slightly different from each other, overlapping and grating to hear, but still easily understood, "You... Rob. You get to live... by the grace of mistress Lilith, you get to live. Be grateful¡­¡± The Demon chewed on the next words for a while before grunting out through gritted teeth, "I... will aid you, Rob. You cannot afford to pay for a minion like me, even if I would allow it. Instead... I will raise beasts for your army.¡± Then the demon leaned forward, somehow not toppling over, right into my face, and growled in the Demon language again. ¡°What did he say?¡± I asked Lilith. She didn''t answer. ¡°Lilith?¡± ¡°He said¡­ Now listen, HE said this, not me¡­ don''t hold his words against me¡­ He said, ¡®Fail or betray the mistress, and I will not kill you. I will loot the boss chest over and over until you can''t pay the cost. I will find the dungeon you are then enslaved to and pull you apart slowly until your tiny body fails. Then I will do it again... and again.. and again. The dungeon will thank me for the invasion reward, and you will never be able to pay the fee you need to escape. Again, and again, and¡­ again.¡± With that, the Demon left, through the ceiling. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 0 Invaders retreated: 1 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: none Invasion duration: 10:23 Invasion reward: 3 gold Loot value: none Dungeon damage has created an illegal second entrance, restoring dungeon to previous state¡­ Cost for repair: 23 tin 17. Outside help 17 Outside Help It took some time to gather myself and calm down the panicked goblins after the demon left. It turned out the loud crashing noises weren''t the rock fall as I had suspected. The demon had somehow gotten inside silently and avoided the tripwire, then, rather than collecting the key and using the lock as intended, he smashed through the door. Again someone had shown up asking about the ¡®mistress.'' Lilith had some kind of past that was for sure. ¡°So¡­ I assume you don''t remember anyone like that either?¡± I asked her. ¡°No, but he told me¡­ He said there are still a few demons loyal to me. That they would join a dungeon and fight against Gib, whoever that is. He offered to kill you and take the crown.¡± I swallowed hard. I had gathered as much from her half of the conversation, but to hear it plainly like that made it real. That I had come within inches of death, only spared because I happened to be on the fickle crown''s good side at the time. That was scary. But this didn''t need to be a bad thing. Plenty of good had come from the encounter. First, the demon and his ¡®few'' friends who were loyal to Lilith may be an easy answer to the troll situation. Second, I now had gold, plenty of money to build up the dungeon. That was another loophole, and this whole dungeon system thing was beginning to feel like Swiss cheese with all the holes. We had received a three-gold reward just for the demon showing up and then leaving. Why couldn''t we just have him jump in and out of the dungeon a bunch of times to become rich beyond reason? Unfortunately, he hadn''t left a business card to get in touch. While Lilith and I considered the implications of our recent overpowered ¡®allies,'' I worked on all the changes and additions I had promised to the goblins. Several drawings had been made of the equipment and tools that were too complex and difficult for me, as judged by everyone involved save for myself. What I had done to inspire such a lack of faith I would never know. The boss chamber was converted into a smithy, complete with a forge, an anvil, barrels of water and oil, and just one pair of tongs and one hammer. Gregg said he would make his own tools so that they would be reliable. I also worked out a small chimney that could be opened and closed to vent the smoke out of the dungeon. Next, I finally made a workshop for Gale in a hidden room off of the cable trap room. She would be relying on Gregg for most of the metalwork and tools, but I still added a workbench and some samples of the trap parts we had used before, as well as some new things she had asked for. I also added a cabinet stuffed to bursting with paper. The paper had been surprisingly expensive to unlock, but I wasn''t going to put it off any longer and risk assassination. I gave Gina a desk to work at, but until I unlocked glass, I didn''t want to set up what would effectively be an alchemy lab for her. Simple comforts were also added, things I had forgotten and had pointed out to me, or just couldn¡¯t afford until now. After checking the cost, I decided I could implement a few more traps that Gale had deemed suitable for me to install. The stair room was prime for a trap, but Gale insisted that she had a plan for it, so I was to leave it alone for now. Trying to add another trap to either the rock fall room or the cable room brought errors about trap power, which was apparently cumulative. The only other rooms that invaders would visit were the bunk room and maybe the smithy, so the bunk room got a trap. The door was rigged to a trigger. The trap would remain disarmed until an invasion started, since the goblins would be teleported to the bunk room; they could arm it while we waited. The trigger would release a simple swinging log. When I pointed out how pointless hitting a monster with a log would be, Gale added a point. A nasty three-foot serrated spike jutted from the business end of the log. That should be enough, but then she also added a shelf next to the door in the drawing. Against my better judgment, I had asked her what it was for. ¡°We need somewhere to store the poison, obviously.¡± Ah¡­ obviously¡­ With the changes made and barely a dent in our newfound wealth, I confirmed. The slow work had really helped me center myself. Putting aside the overwhelming problems for a moment and just building a dungeon was great therapy. The entire dungeon population was gathered in the bunkroom, which had received relatively few changes, so the goblins all focused on the obvious additions of furniture and partitions. All except Gale. She saw the log trap immediately and shot to her feet. ¡°Spike!¡± Everyone''s attention focused on her. But she didn''t notice or care as she ran to the new trap and began scrutinizing my work. ¡°Spike?¡± Geoff asked. ¡°Yes Spike, his name is Spike.¡± The declaration didn''t seem odd to her, but everyone exchanged glances. ¡°You named the trap?¡± I asked. ¡°Of course! They are my children; they all get names.¡± ¡°You name ALL of the traps¡­¡± She finally looked up at the group of very confused monsters. Gale raised an eyebrow, as if we were the odd ones, ¡°Everyone needs a name... There is Rocky, Mabel, Mitch, Shepard, and now Spike!¡± ¡°Wait¡­ Rocky I get, and Spike¡­ Sure, whatever, but what... er... who are the others?¡± Gary asked. Gale''s look of incomprehension only grew as she explained, ¡°Mabel, the cable trap. Mitch the greasy trench, and Shepard the poison caltrops.¡± I knew I would regret it, but I asked anyway, ¡°How did you get those names?¡± ¡°Mabel¡­ cable¡­ It''s obvious. I don''t blame you for not getting Mitch''s name, though; it took me a little while to name him; the trench is just a ditch, a M-ud d-ITCH, Mitch.¡± I thought that would be the most ridiculous thing I would ever hear, but she one-upped herself immediately. ¡°Shepard, there are SH-arp things in the y-ARD, Shepard.¡± ¡°What about the ¡®ep'' in Shepard?¡± Gale''s eyes widened, and she looked from face to face for a moment before stuttering, ¡°Th¡­ They are EP-ic¡­ Just go with it!¡± I decided to save her, ¡°The log trap isn''t the only change. I added all the stuff we talked about: the forge, the workshop, and I even added some chairs and tables outside.¡± Everyone scattered like I had dropped a grenade in the room. Cheers and celebration could be heard all across the dungeon as all of the changes were found and tested. Until a crash and shout of pain sounded out from the second floor. No messages popped up, and no one respawned in their bunk, so I just walked to investigate. A crowd had formed around the ¡®hidden'' door to Gale''s workshop. The secret door wasn''t exactly the most impressive thing, but I had expected it to take longer than a minute for Gale to find it. Find it she did though. She had been inside examining everything when the paper cabinet broke free of the mounting brackets and dumped its contents all across the room. Gale sat in the middle of the mess, scribbling furiously on a sheet. As she finished whatever she had been working on, she tossed the paper to the side and snatched a fresh one off a nearby pile, barely slowing her scribbles.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. She spoke without looking up, ¡°Rob, assign me to this room." ¡°I don''t think that¡¯s a good idea, invaders¡­¡± ¡°Just do it; someone needs to be here to trip Mabel; it''s not an automatic trap.¡± That was true, the cable trap was one of those that needed to be manually sprung; otherwise, it would set off trap power errors. Still¡­ ¡°That''s too dangerous; you¡¯d be the only one on this side of the locked door.¡± Gale sighed and lowered her fourth sheet of paper, looking me in the eyes. ¡°I am an adult, Rob. I am capable of making my own decisions. You don''t get to tell me I''m not allowed to fight for my home. Assign me to this room, rig up the trigger mechanism to work from here, and give me a peephole to look into the other room¡­ and make a big bar I can use to lock the door.¡± An adult? She was clearly younger than any of the other goblins. I had made her do things that I regretted already, and now, if I let this happen, she would be the first to see and fight against any invaders. But was she right? She wanted to fight and protect the dungeon; who was I to tell her no? ¡°Are you sure?¡± ¡°Oh yeah,¡± She smirked and turned the sheet of paper she had been working on toward me. It was a diagram of something that looked like a ballista pointed at a door; a tiny goblin sat on the back holding a pull cord in one hand and waving a hat with the other. ¡°Is the hat necessary?¡± ¡°Very." I had been wishy-washy about Gale fighting for too long. It felt wrong, but she, and all of the goblins, didn''t see anything wrong with her being right on the front lines. I wasn''t going to fight it anymore. I assigned Gale to the workshop and made the changes she suggested. The conversation prompted a ¡®council meeting'' where we discussed the other room assignments. With the advice of Gale, Geoff, Gary, and Tessa, we had almost settled on a team when a commotion outside interrupted. Squirrely McSquirrel had returned, riding¡­ something. Just outside the dungeon entrance sat a real monster. This thing deserved that title more than anything I had seen in this world so far, including the demon. It had the general shape of a horse but had dark scales rather than skin. Leathery bat-like wings curled against its sides, and large spines like spikes jutted out in two rows all the way from its crocodile-like tail, along its back, up its long serpentine neck, to its head, where they culminated in two pairs of wicked horns, one just behind its glowing red eyes curving up toward the other, which curved back from its brow. The head itself looked like a fever-fueled nightmare dragon¡¯s head, complete with an elongated jaw filled with needle-like fangs. The thing sat calmly right outside, and I could get a pretty good idea of its size without stepping away from the relative safety of the dungeon. It was about the size of a large dog. It was a nightmare creature, and the squirrel rode it proudly. They were close enough that I was able to get an information window. Name: Unnamed Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Hell beast Level: 2 Level two? This thing could kill just by being terrifying; there was no way it should be level two. I targeted the squirrel with the translation power. ¡°What the hell is this thing?¡± ¡°Hell beast, Derrick¡¯s first offering" Derrick was the demon''s name. I did recall him saying something along the lines of raising beasts for the dungeon, but there was so much more that needed discussing first. ¡°Where did he go? Can''t he invade and retreat a bunch of times to give us money? And why do you both know Lilith? Who is Gib? What is happening?¡± The squirrel sighed, ¡°This is why he left... Well, one of the reasons anyway. We can''t help you like that, and now you are asking too many questions about things that don¡¯t affect you. Just take the beast''s oath and name it.¡± I started to ask more questions, but the squirrel patted the beast''s head twice and took off into the trees, ignoring me completely. I stared at the monster. It stared back. ¡°So¡­ you gonna work for me?¡± I didn''t expect an answer, so when the monster stood up and barked at me, I was startled. On a completely unrelated note, I also noted that, as a zombie who didn''t drink or eat for the most part, I didn''t have a functioning bladder to empty in terror. The sound of the thing''s bark sounded like a garbage disposal with a fork in it, a rattling, clanking, grinding noise. Perhaps it was whatever passed for language among hell beasts, and that was the oath. That was the only explanation I had for the familiar acceptance oath coming to me at that moment. ¡°I accept your oath,¡± I started, but this was the point that the monster''s name was supposed to be spoken, and this thing didn¡¯t have one. I could feel the incomplete oath hanging in the air, like a heavy mist. It felt uncomfortable. With a shrug I continued, just going with whatever name came to me, ¡°Andy, Hell beast. In turn I swear to protect you and not restrict your own growth. I swear to carry you with me to the peak and beyond. Rise as a minion of the Dungeon of a Thousand Corpses.¡± New minion added Minion details: Name: Handy Classification: Dungeon of 1000 corpses Monster Race: Hell beast Level: 2 Pay rate: 10 tin per day, 20 tin per slain invader Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions Wait, Handy? Did the dungeon system just add an H to the name I gave it? Also of note was the pay rate. Even at level two, this thing was the highest-paid minion of the dungeon. Race must have some bearing on pay then. Handy did his horrible grinding bark again and took off into the trees. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 2 Well, that was great. With the troublemakers gone, the dungeon went back to its business. The meeting that had been interrupted resumed, and we went back to room assignments. The addition of the hell beast to the dungeon actually solved one issue we had been discussing. The dungeon rooms¡¯ minion allowances were normally maxed out at level three. Because we left the rock fall room and the cable trap room empty, we were allowed to put up to level six into the bunk room. Gale was assigned to the workshop, and I bypassed the boss chamber''s level with my own level 4. All of that meant we still had a room available, the stairwell room. No one felt comfortable putting one of our own in the open between the two absurdly deadly traps with invaders pressing down on them. Now Handy the hell beast could take that spot. It was all very convenient; Handy was too short for the cable trap to affect, and I was interested to see how strong he was to justify that pay rate. Turns out Handy was pretty handy. With the assignments done, I asked Lilith about where we were on the Tier Up requirements. ¡°As the dungeon is now¡­ you still have to figure out how to kill one human and kill ten monsters with traps, as well as defeat at least one ten invader raid.¡± The trap kills should be pretty easy; the traps were the main defense after all. Ten invaders at once might be trouble, though. Aside from the trolls, who should be done raiding us for the time being, we never had more than one invader at a time. We may have to rely on the humans to help with that, but I really didn''t want to give away any information that we didn''t need to. The goblins continued their exploring and testing of the new changes, so I was alone as I lay down to rest for the night. Another long day, full of far too much excitement for me. This time at least I was the first to rest; maybe I would finally be the first to rise in the morning. At that point I was given proof of a malicious, sleep-hating deity watching me and taking twisted pleasure in ruining my rest in particular. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 7 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 89 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: none Wave duration: 1:00:13 Wave reward: 2 copper 75 tin Loot value: none Before I could even groan and rise to see what the hell beast had done, the next message popped up. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 18 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms The minions and I were teleported to our rooms, and I was now fully awake. Eighteen invaders! What the hell was going on? Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 18 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 180 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: A really gross bag of slime Invasion duration: 5 Invasion reward: 90 tin Loot value: -20 tin Convert Loot to mana coins? What? The messages had come so fast I couldn¡¯t process them, and the only one that lingered was the last. Handy had done something though¡­ and he wasn''t done. A dungeon minion has leveled up Handy: Level 2-3 Pay rate remains the same Fortunately, there was something different about the minion level-up message, so it didn''t push away the invasion window. Handy was way off script right now, and I needed to stop whatever he was doing. As I charged through the bunk room, the goblins called out asking me what was happening. I wish I knew. When I opened the door to the rock fall room, Handy was sitting there. He had grown. He had been the size of a large dog before; now he was the size of a pony. Oblivious to the panic he had caused, Handy just sat there, tongue lolling from his mouth and giant, scaly tail wagging like a happy dog. A bag rested on the floor by his feet, oozing a strange green liquid that smelled sickly sweet. 18. Semi-pro Tagonist III 18 Semi-pro Tagonist III Hiro dropped the massive buster sword and tackled the kobold. Dianne shrieked and stumbled backward away from the monster that had been mere feet from sticking her with the rusty dagger. A click could be heard as she shifted her weight. Spikes shot out from the nearby walls, extending toward her from both sides. ¡°HOLD!" The word was a command, and the world itself obeyed. At least it did within a hundred feet or so. The Grand Paladin had been true to his word, not helping the two new adventurers; instead, he made Randall, the odd man who ran the southernmost branch of the guild, accompany them. The man was skilled, no one could deny that, but he had a very irritable and irritating personality. ¡°So what did you do wrong?¡± Randall asked. No one answered. ¡°No guesses? I suppose I will tell you then.¡± Hiro groaned inwardly. Randall had been doing this all day. He let them take on this ¡®beginner'' dungeon on their own without any direction. When they inevitably made a mistake, he would freeze them all with that weird magic. He called it a Word of Power. Then he would ask them what they did wrong, but they stayed frozen, so they couldn''t answer. Then he would explain all they had done wrong, reset the room with another word, and make them try again. Dianne had complained after the third time this had happened, telling Randall that it wasn''t fair to stop them from talking and then ask questions. In the middle of her complaints, Randall froze them all again, asked what she had done wrong, then explained to them that her mistake was questioning him. ¡°Your failures are multitudinous. Hiro, you abandoned your weapon and willingly entered into the range of a monster''s weapon. Dianne, you failed to cast your spells in time, allowing the monster to threaten you. Hiro, you allowed the monster too close to Dianne; you are supposed to protect the backline. Dianne, you actually stepped on the most clearly telegraphed, obvious pressure plate in any dungeon¡­ ever. I am quite disappointed in both of you. REWIND!¡± The previous several seconds played out in reverse. The spikes that had been inches from Dianne when the world froze retracted back into the wall. Dianne stepped forward off of the plate, which clicked again. Hiro disentangled from the kobold and stepped back away from it. A sharp pain in his side drew his eye, the only part of his body he was currently in control of. A wound he hadn''t felt closed as the kobold''s blade withdrew from it. The scene continued backward until they returned to the entrance of the room where Dianne had successfully cast an unlocking spell, bypassing a trap and saving them from having to find a key. That had only taken four rewinds. As the Word of Power¡¯s effect wore off, the group stood in silence for a moment. Hiro felt like he should be out of breath; he had just been wrestling a monster while wounded after all, but he felt fine. ¡°Well?¡± Randall demanded, ¡°Try again.¡± Dianne groaned; Hiro agreed with the sentiment. They prepared to fight the kobold anyway. Just before Hiro charged in, the room warmed up several degrees and all shadows disappeared. They had seen this a few times now, so they weren''t surprised when Theodore Grand Paladin was suddenly in the room with them. The paladin''s voice was quiet and calm, holding no magic, but it still carried even more power than Randall''s Words of Power had. ¡°Wait. We have urgent business.¡± Randall''s previous domineering attitude vanished just as quickly as the shadows had, and he bowed formally to the paladin. ¡°Lord Theodore, we were just about to head down to the next floor. We would love to have you observe¡­¡± ¡°No time. The Seer has had another vision. An emergency meeting has been called. Hiro, come with me.¡± Theodore extended a hand, and Hiro looked at it warily for a moment. ¡°Uhh¡­ What about Dianne?¡± The paladin paused, then, without a word, extended his other hand as well. The two newbie adventurers accepted the hands. The world blurred, and a growing pressure on Hiro''s eardrums began to hurt. He felt like his bones were being pulled along behind the paladin, and the rest of his body only followed by virtue of being attached, as they traveled too fast for him to process what was happening. And then the movement stopped. They found themselves in a dimly lit conference room with a long table and several chairs occupying the center. Several people were present, though none were sitting. Theodore spoke, ¡°This is Mr. Semi-pro Tagonist. Are we missing anyone else?¡± ¡°Everyone who will be here is here. Now will someone please explain what is so important that I had to leave a meeting with Duchess Livingston?¡± The speaker was a middle-aged, overweight, balding man in gaudy robes. ¡°I believe I can answer that, my lord.¡± A trio of cloaked and hooded figures stepped out from the shadows. The loudmouthed man looked like he wanted to complain some more but held his tongue as everyone watched these newest speakers. ¡°We represent the Seer of Hoblha. The Seer has been blessed with a vision of great import this day, and the kingdom must be made aware.¡± A large, muscular man wearing a plain-looking, thick tunic leaned forward, bracing against an empty chair, and asked, ¡°Another vision? I was under the impression that the Seer could only receive visions once a month. Why so soon?¡± The angry bald man had regained his bluster and scoffed, ¡°Clearly the Seer has been hiding her powers from the public. Either she can see a great number of things whenever it is convenient, and she is just too lazy, or she is lying about one of these ¡®visions'' and lost track of her lies.¡± The cloaked figure on the left drew a short blade and stepped forward. Before a fight, or perhaps murder, could play out, the central cloaked person reached out and placed a hand gently on their shoulder. The moment contact was made, the two figures on either side fell to one knee. The central figure slumped for a moment before straightening up and addressing the entire room. ¡°I am Seer Tali, chosen¡­ and forsaken, of Hoblha.¡± Sounds of surprise and sharp intakes of breath spread across the room, but the self-important man continued failing to read the room. ¡°So, you are the one responsible for making the Duchess wait. I will have you know that she has had to raise taxes again this year to fund her vacation in the capital. The lady''s time is precious, and so is my own. I won''t stand for any more of your declarations of doom.¡± ¡°Understood, my lord.¡± That stunned the man into silence; he had been expecting an argument. Theodore spoke up again, ¡°Lady Seer, it is true that you are only gifted one vision each month, is it not? How have you received another so soon?¡± The Seer took a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking, ¡°Indeed it is so. The Great Hoblha¡¯s blessing is too much for mortals. I have been gifted a single vision each month, because that is all of the divine power I could bear. This month I was given a vision of a growing danger on the eastern frontier, as well as a hero who would stand and face the threat.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Sadly, I have failed. I misinterpreted this vision. The benevolent Hoblha has seen fit to correct my failure and blessed me with a second vision so that I may spread the knowledge and our people can survive the coming danger.¡± ¡°HAH, I was right! The Seer is just lazy; she can see as many visions as necessary but chooses not to!¡± She shook her cloaked head sadly, then lifted her gaze to the man. With steady, sure hands, the Seer pulled back her hood, revealing her face for the first time. She was stunningly beautiful. Platinum blonde hair framed a gentle face of perfectly smooth, pale skin. Her eyes were gone. Black scorch marks marred her perfect face, radiating out from the empty sockets in a ragged scar. The man stumbled back from the gruesome sight in terror. ¡°I implore you, and all of those present here today. Allow me to correct my failure. The divine power has burnt out my eyes. This vision is the last thing I will ever see, but it has given me one more chance. I was wrong about the threat on the frontier, not about the danger, but the timeline. I have seen there are demons involved, as well as an Enhanced Lifeform and a figure shrouded in mists that even the Great Hoblha cannot pierce. There is no more time. The hero must leave immediately. If we do not act now, we won¡¯t be able to stop the end.¡± ¡°What end?¡± Someone asked. ¡°The end of humanity.¡± The seer left shortly after it became clear that the gathered people had taken her warnings seriously. Even the obnoxious man, who Hiro later found out was the steward of the royal family, didn''t have any more objections. A plan was quickly formulated, and people hurried off to collect supplies. Hiro, Dianne, Theodore, A representative from the army named Jacob and a wizard of some importance that Hiro did not understand were all going to the frontier. Along the way the three experts would continue Hiro''s training. Hiro tried asking Theodore why they couldn''t just send an elite team to handle the problem rather than training a rank newbie to fight demons and worse. Theodore made a face before answering, ¡°You saw what happened to the Seer, right? That was just for getting the timing wrong. If she saw that you specifically were necessary to stop the threat, then you are necessary to stop the threat. Questioning it is... counterproductive. If the Seer saw that I was supposed to cut off my own arm and train a house cat to use it as a weapon, then there is a reason for it, and I would do it.¡± The preparations took less than half a day, and before Hiro could even find Randall to say thanks and goodbye, they were off. The wizard, who introduced himself as Magnus, cast a spell on the group that reduced their weight significantly. They were to move in great leaps across the land. Each step they would soar through the air, covering hundreds of feet. Travel was initially slow as they got used to the change, but as they got more practice, they sped up, and soon they were easily outpacing any horse Hiro had ever seen. As they traveled, Theodore explained their plan, ¡°We will travel from sunrise to sunset each day. At night Dianne and Jacob will set up camp. While they work, I will train you to fight, our route has been planned to stop at several dungeons along the way so you will delve whenever possible. Then Magnus will teach you basic magic for a few hours. At dawn we all drink one of these,¡± He held up a vial of pink swirling liquid, ¡°And Magnus will recast a few spells. Then we continue. The spells and the potions will substitute for sleep, and we will make the best time possible while still training you.¡± And so the following days went. The trip was supposed to take five days, which was only slightly slower than what Magnus claimed he could do with flight magic on his own. The first night they made camp too far from any dungeons to train delving, but the martial and magic training continued. Theodore had decided to increase the already intense training once more. If Hiro was meant to be the first and last line of defense against demons and beings beyond even a god''s sight, then he was going to be twice as ready as humanly possible. Dianne complained loudly about being left out of most of the training at first. Jacob put an end to that. No one had told her about the scan results from when they had first arrived in Bansolow, but it was clear even to her that Hiro was the hero of this adventure. Jacob pulled Dianne aside after she had been chased off of the martial training Theodore was administering to Hiro. ¡°Dianne, do you know why I am on this mission?¡± ¡°What? What are you talking about? You¡¯re a soldier; you''re here to fight the demons. Will you teach me to fight?¡± ¡°You¡¯re only half right. I am a soldier, yes. But I am no match for someone like the Grand Paladin in a fight, nor could I lay a finger on Magnus. So why do you think I am here?¡± That finally got her attention, but she couldn''t come up with an answer that made sense, so she shrugged. For some reason that response made the normally stoic Jacob grin. ¡°I am here for the same reason you are. Leadership. It''s not just being in charge and telling people what to do. In fact, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that Theodore is the leader in that sense. But people like them." He gestured to where the other three were clashing in wild, showy fashion, ¡°They are hopeless without guidance and support. Hiro specifically asked for you to join the mission; why do you think that is?¡± Dianne blushed at that; she knew exactly why Hiro had brought her along. Jacob sighed and shook his head, ¡°You aren¡¯t wrong, but that isn¡¯t the whole story. With you here, Hiro can go over there and give his absolute best effort against hopeless odds. He can do that because he knows you¡¯re here when he gets back.¡± ¡°I don''t want to just be here for Hiro! I want to fight as well!¡± ¡°I am trying to tell you how you can. Hiro is fighting FOR you. Not just because he likes you, but because you are a representation of home, of the people he knows. If you went over there and told him to drop the mission and go delve random dungeons with you, he would. If you told him to lay his life down to fight back the demons, he would. That is your power. You lead people. The only person you lead right now is Hiro, but that won''t always be the case. You need to learn how to watch and understand a fight, rather than run in blindly and start swinging. That is what I am here for; I am a soldier. I have seen dozens of battles. I have told men to charge into death and watched as they understood they would die but followed my orders anyway. This is one of the most important missions of any of our lives. So they sent me to make sure that, no matter the cost, the threat is eliminated. Right now that means making sure the fighters can prepare for battle. I start the fires, cook the food, and make sure that Hiro remembers to wipe his ass, whatever they need. Later it will mean making sure that those three are between the demons and the kingdom. I will hand them their sword, call out to distract the enemy, and tell Theodore to take a fatal blow so Hiro can slay the enemy, whatever the kingdom needs. Do you understand?¡± Dianne was quiet a long moment as she thought over the man''s words. It felt wrong, Hiro was fighting, he would be the one to risk himself and the one to get all the glory. Dianne was just supposed to watch? Help? Make sure he didn''t trip over his own feet? How was that fighting? But it was true that she couldn''t keep up with those three. As if to confirm her thoughts, Theodore stopped, planted his feet, and swung his two-handed golden sword straight down at Hiro. Hiro raised his mother''s buster sword and caught the blow. The shockwave alone was almost enough to knock Dianne from her feet, and she was a good twenty paces away. ¡°How can I be useful?¡± The words tasted bitter, but what else could she do? If she had to choose whether to be a nobody forever or a footnote in Hiro''s story, then there was no competition. ¡°First, help me gather the packs; they just dropped them wherever they landed.¡± The second night Hiro was sent into an intermediate dungeon alone. He had expected Dianne to raise objections and try to join him, but she just continued her work around the camp. The dungeon was a well-known one, and they had brought a map that detailed the entire layout. Hiro wasn''t going for a full clear; instead, he was supposed to fight his way to the third floor and face off against the first mini-boss. The mini-boss always dropped a token when defeated that, when crushed, would teleport the holder from the dungeon. Outside of that token, the only other ways out of this particular dungeon were to either defeat the dungeon boss or break through a wall. Most adventurers didn''t have that last option, but Hiro''s weapon and his rapidly increasing strength afforded him the extra escape plan. The fact that this was an intermediate dungeon was frustrating. So far Hiro hadn''t been to the end of a dungeon. He would have been able to handle the beginner dungeon back at Bansolow, but Randall kept them from finishing it. Now he wouldn¡¯t get the opportunity to fully clear a dungeon until they neared their destination. That was another thing that was irritating him to no end. They had no idea WHERE they were going. The Seer had given them a section of the frontier, but nothing beyond that. Magnus had some spell or another that could find traces of demon magic, and they would follow that, but until they found a trail, they were flying blind. Of course they were also going to miss his own town by a wide margin, so there would be no visiting home. Not like Theodore would have allowed it anyway. They had been fighting, training, running, and practicing magic nonstop for nearly two full days at this point. When he thought about that, Hiro had to admit a large part of his frustration was probably just mental fatigue. Which made it all the more strange that Dianne hadn''t fought harder to join the training and delving. This was her dream after all. A club struck Hiro in the shoulder. It didn''t hurt, not really, but it shocked him back to the task at hand. He had been on autopilot all the way down to the second floor. This was where the enemies, enraged orcs, started to become dangerous even to his class-boosted, spell-reinforced, potion-enhanced body. And so Hiro trained, Dianne studied, and the threat grew. 19. Chief Administrator 19 Chief Administrator Handy¡¯s sudden hunt answered a few questions and presented a few more. A quick check with Lilith confirmed that the eighteen¡­ slimes, I guess¡­ had counted for the ten monster invasion requirement for the next tier. Unfortunately, Handy had killed them himself, which meant we still needed trap kills, and that Handy had made a large sum of money for the kills. How the hell beast had dragged so many monsters back to the dungeon, or how it knew doing so would be beneficial, was anyone¡¯s guess. At least the thing seemed friendly. He continued to pant and wag his tail happily while I stared tiredly. I really couldn¡¯t be bothered to figure this out right now. But I had to do something. It was likely that Derrick, or Squirrely McSquirrel, or whoever, had trained this thing to perform specific tasks. Knowing what I did about those two, the top priority for Handy¡¯s training was probably fulfilling Tier up requirements. That meant if I ignored the problem and went back to my half-sleep, I might wake up to Handy happily awaiting praise over Cynthia¡¯s corpse. ¡°Any ideas?¡± I asked Lilith. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ tie it up? Or you could just terminate the minion contract. ¡°Oh? I thought we couldn¡¯t do that because the system is the contract holder.¡± ¡°They are, but we can still end a contract; it is just... rough on the minion¡¯s soul.¡± ¡°What do you mean, rough?¡± ¡°I would be surprised if anything below level twenty could survive.¡± So, tie up or kill Handy. Did I really have to make a decision on this right now¡­ while I was exhausted and mentally drained? The goblins and trolls had been creeping closer, trying to get a look while still relatively safe. Handy finally noticed them and barked again, lowering his head while his tail picked up speed, preparing to chase. He really acted just like a playful dog. That made me think about Earth dogs. Dogs were animals, just as potentially dangerous as any other. However, humans still kept and trained them. Surely we could do something similar¡­ I entered the construction interface and installed my idea; at the same time, I also cleaned up the slime. Slime looked and smelled nasty¡­ but it was a material, and there was no reason to turn down new material. It was more than likely that the slime had some useful properties that Gale or Gina could use for their various projects. After restarting time, I made my way outside. Handy followed at my heel¡­ or he would have, but he was just too tall, so he followed at my shoulder. I could feel his razor-sharp teeth, now neck-high, right behind me as I crossed the rock fall room. A spike of panic shot through me when I realized the monster had to cross the tripwire, but as I looked back, I saw him step gingerly over the trap. Handy was definitely smart¡­ Outside, my changes were immediately apparent. Just inside the border that Mitch the Ditch made, stood a tall fence. I currently had a surplus of funds, so I really went all out. The fence was reminiscent of chain-link fences, with woven and interlocked iron wires. I made a small alteration, though. I added barbs, turning the entire fence into a barbed chain link monstrosity rising eight feet into the air. At the top I had taken inspiration from fences around high-security areas on Earth. Jutting out from the top, pointing inward and outward both, were iron supports. More barbed wire ran along the supports. Anyone who wanted to get in would have to use a special gate for the purpose, or else cross the highly flammable greasy ditch, climb the barbed fence, and either out and over the overhanging section or through it. I really couldn¡¯t see anyone or anything, Handy included, getting in or out without permission. As the dungeon inhabitants surfaced, two of them rushed off to inspect the new addition. Handy and Gale. Gale walked the perimeter, examining the fence closely, nodding at times. Handy followed her, stopping when she stopped and nodding when she nodded. Well, at least he seemed gentle enough around the small goblins. As I watched them, the pair circled the entire clearing and reached the gate. The gate was a simple thing. I had made small hinges of interlocking bars and a frame of iron pipe. It was only about ten feet wide and lined up with the ¡®bridge¡¯ across Mitch. The bridge would need to be rebuilt at some point. A few goblins had tossed a couple of planks of wood across the gap, which worked well enough for the goblins, but if the humans brought carts of building material in, they would need some way to cross the trap. Gale reached up to open the latch on the gate, but I had placed it too high. She couldn¡¯t quite reach. Handy watched her struggle for a moment. I was interested in what they would do, so I didn¡¯t interfere. Gale grew increasingly frustrated, letting out tiny grunts and curses. The height of the latch was such that she could just about reach it on her tiptoes. Handy¡¯s animal brain churned as Gale struggled. He looked back and forth between the goblin and the gate several times before approaching. The hell beast bent down and grabbed Gale¡¯s shirt collar. I thought he was about to lift her to the latch, but instead he backed up a few steps, flailing goblin in tow. Then he leapt, leathery wings snapping out loudly. Two great beats of his surprisingly large wings and the pair had cleared the fence. Once they had gently landed on the outside, Handy gently released Gale on her feet. The goblin brushed imagined dust off herself and nodded to the beast, who happily panted back. ¡°Hey Rob¡­¡± ¡°Yes, Lilith?¡± ¡°Your fence kinda sucks.¡± ¡°Yes, Lilith.¡± The fence inspection continued for a while longer. Eventually, Gale rode Handy back over the fence, not even attempting the gate a second time. ¡°Barbara.¡± She stated plainly. I raised an eyebrow, ¡°It¡¯s not a trap, though.¡± She shrugged, ¡°Close enough; her name is Barbara.¡± ¡°I thought you only named traps you had made.¡± I tried again. She ignored me and went back into the dungeon, presumably back to working on more traps. ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯m open to any more ideas on how to keep this thing from running off again.¡± Lilith sounded annoyed when she spoke, ¡°I told you, tie it up!¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that kind of cruel?¡± ¡°You just tried to cage it.¡± ¡°Sure, but he would have had a lot of room to run around.¡± ¡°So tie it up with a lot of slack then.¡± Wait¡­ that was right. Dogs on Earth often had chains tethering them to their home. Why did I assume Lilith meant something like a hogtie? I quickly had a chain fixed on one end to a bracket on the dungeon entrance and the other to a collar, which I made from more chain for the badass factor. The chain was long enough to reach the fence, but not over it. To keep Handy from getting tangled up and stuck inside the dungeon, I used a little removable gate. It was basically a baby gate, but the fact that it was allowed in the main entrance of the dungeon and didn¡¯t send an error made me think there were probably more loopholes there, if I ever got around to exploring some of them.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. I initially worried the chain collar would be uncomfortable, but Lilith pointed out that Handy was covered in scales and spikes. Once we had it on him, he didn¡¯t seem to mind, so I left it alone. Finally I was able to get some rest. Once again, despite my best efforts, I was last to lie down and last to rise. Geoff was the first to greet me in the morning. He had apparently raided Gale¡¯s workshop, making off with some paper, and fashioned a clipboard out of bits and pieces. When he noticed I was up and moving about, he flipped to another page and approached. ¡°Good morning, Mr. Rob. I need to go over a few things with you, if you have a moment.¡± ¡°Sure, no problem, buddy. And¡­ just Rob is fine.¡± Geoff pulled a face and said, ¡°I would warn you not to say that in front of Gale, sir. Lest you be named ¡®Just Rob¡¯ for the rest of your days.¡± That sounded like a story, but Geoff continued to talk, checking his notes several times. ¡°Some of the humans visited this morning; you were asleep, so I handled it.¡± ¡°Wait¡­ humans showed up? Here? Which ones?¡± ¡°The tall one with the shiny head, I believe you called him Hunter.¡± Cynthia¡¯s father then, that was quicker than I had expected. He was supposed to be leading a group that would clear a path between the dungeon and the village, but that should take days. I really just hoped it would be done before the tribute to Kasumi and the trolls was due. ¡°What brought him here? No¡­ how did you ¡®handle it?¡¯ You can''t speak to each other... You didn¡¯t kill him, did you?¡± Geoff looked at me like I was crazy, ¡°Of course not. We have seen what the humans can do. The dungeon is strong... but we cannot fight that village. No, now that both sides are aware of the cooperation, we don¡¯t immediately resort to violence. There are other forms of communication.¡± To prove the point he turned his clipboard around and showed me a drawing of a pile of stone. He flipped to the next page, which showed a pile of scrap metal. Several more drawings showed similar things; all were one general building material or another. ¡°We worked out a measurement system to nail down the details as well. Gregg will need to build scales of a few different sizes for weighing. He may need your assistance.¡± ¡°How did you manage all this just this morning?¡± Geoff¡¯s chin rose a bit, his chest puffed out, and his hands went behind his back. He looked very proud of himself. ¡°I may not be as strong as Tessa, or as skilled as Gregg, or as clever as Gale. But I am no slouch. I will do whatever it takes to protect this place. Even if that means hours of charades with a group of humans.¡± ¡°But¡­ why not just get me and have me use the amulet?¡± Geoff tilted his head back and forth in thought before answering. ¡°We all have our jobs. Tessa is a caretaker, Gale is a defender, Gina is a healer, you are the leader, and I deal with people. I need to work out how to communicate and negotiate with outsiders as well as our own people.¡± ¡°Hey, Geoff?¡± ¡°Yes, Mr. Rob?¡± ¡°You¡¯re an idiot. Just ask if you need help in the future¡­ also¡­ thank you.¡± I held out the Amulet of Babel, ¡°I want you to have this. I need to think of a proper title for you, but I want you to be my chief administrator.¡± Geoff grinned widely as he gently, reverently, took the legendary artifact and placed it on his own neck. ¡°Thank you, sir. Now back to the humans. They seemed to be asking about the logs. There are apparently going to be a lot of logs cleared between here and the village, so they were asking if we wanted to start our trading by purchasing them.¡± ¡°And what did the Chief Administrator decide?¡± ¡°I offered tin. They seem to have some use for the coins. I didn¡¯t pry, since it took long enough to understand that they wanted the coins. But it seemed like they were willing to deliver logs for tin coins, fifteen coins for each log.¡± It remained to be seen how much value I could get from wood, but this was a start at least. Trade with an outside source was a major step toward good relations. I nodded to Geoff, but he wasn¡¯t finished. ¡°There is more. I couldn¡¯t properly understand what they were trying to say¡­ but I¡¯m pretty sure they are going to bring people for us to turn into zombies¡­ Humans.¡± ¡°I thought they didn¡¯t have criminals needing execution in such a small village?¡± ¡°That¡¯s what I thought too. We couldn¡¯t get the point across to each other, so I¡¯m not certain exactly what they were trying to say¡­ But I let them draw a picture themselves¡­ look.¡± The drawing on the sheet Geoff showed me next was clearly done by a different, less skilled hand than the others. Stick figures seemed to be carrying other stick figures to a building, where they were then left. A smaller image next to the drawing showed two stickmen; an arrow led from each, one to the building and one back the way the stickmen had come. It wasn¡¯t surprising that they couldn¡¯t get their point across with this kind of art. Somehow the dead goblins drew better pictures than the humans. ¡°Alright, well next time they show up, you can talk to them and work out a deal. You know what¡¯s going on, so I trust you to make whatever deal you think is best. If you need me, though, just ask.¡± Geoff nodded gratefully, then handed me another sheet of paper. On this one I found writing. Actual writing, but I couldn¡¯t read any of it. ¡°Writing? You can read?¡± ¡°Of course, all goblins spend their first ten years learning everything from hunting to building to reading and writing.¡± Was he talking about goblin schools? ¡°What language is this?¡± Geoff looked confused, ¡°Language? What do you mean?¡± ¡°Language¡­ like¡­ I guess you can think of it as goblins speaking one language, zombies speaking another, humans speaking a third, and so on. What language is this?¡± The goblin didn¡¯t seem any less confused after my explanation, ¡°This is writing, not language.¡± We were losing something in translation here. But that made me think of translation itself. On Earth, languages were difficult to learn because there was more difference than just the words. Syntax, grammar, and vocabulary were all things one had to learn in order to properly understand a new language. One for one, word for word, literal translations were often incomprehensible. So how was it then that the Amulet of Babel was able to translate everything in real time flawlessly? Even something that magically translated every single word would be tripped up when words didn¡¯t have an equivalent, or the pacing was too far off. Even slang, different dialects, and accents would probably confuse a real-time translation. The only way it could work was if everyone and everything spoke the same language, and the only difference was what each individual word meant. The entire world would be speaking substitution variants of one language. There was no way that was possible, right? Even the squirrel was capable of squirrel speech. Surely someone would have noticed it before. ¡°Geoff¡­ Have you ever seen human writing?¡± He furrowed his brow in thought, ¡°Can humans write?¡± I was really curious now. The more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Multiple dungeons had become capable of communicating with humans, so the idea had some merit. But again, there was no way that no one had figured this out before. ¡°Next time you meet the humans, ask for them to bring some writing¡­ ask for a book.¡± The goblin shrugged, apparently not as interested in the oddity as I was. ¡°If you say so, boss. We also have some requests from the goblins for supplies¡­¡± The meeting went on long enough that I decided to add an office with a desk and a nice, comfortable spinning chair to my list of things to make. I ended up spending another silver and some change on materials for Gina to make more potions, Gale to make more prototype traps, and Gregg to make tools and weapons for everyone. Just about half of the day had gone before the business was done and Geoff left me alone. I could really see the value in delegation now and silently thanked Tessa for her foresight when assigning jobs to all of the minions. Even with, or perhaps because of, the time-stopping effect, the work just never seemed to end, and I was fully drained and burnt out by the time I wandered outside. Gerald hadn¡¯t been idle the past few days. The goblin was just as young-looking as Gale, but he took his job of head of entertainment seriously. Various games had been set up, and it was interesting to see how some concepts held across dimensions while others were completely alien to me and my Earth memories. A game very much like horseshoes had been set up, but instead of horseshoes, the goblins threw rings at a stake in the ground. Someone had found a bucket, and a game that looked suspiciously like a cross between basketball and rugby was being played using a rabbit pelt stuffed with dried grass as a ball. I couldn¡¯t find an Earth equivalent for one game, Tessa, Terry, and Gabe were sprinting from the fence to the dungeon entrance, where they would put a mark on the wall with something like chalk. Then they took their chalk and threw it at one of the other runners, who would either dodge or catch the projectile. I really couldn¡¯t understand the goal, but they were laughing and having fun. The scene warmed my dead heart. There was a lot going on, but this family was enjoying themselves, and that¡¯s all that really mattered. We probably wouldn¡¯t get many breaks from all of the insanity, so it was important to enjoy them where we could. Handy barreled into me from the side, knocking me over. Several of the goblins and trolls stopped to look and see if I would blow up at the animal. I looked up at the drooling hell beast who wagged his giant bludgeon of a tail. I roared, grabbing his leg and rolling him over. Time to unwind. 20. Venomous Saber-toothed Jackalope 20 Venomous Saber-toothed Jackalope It took me some time as I lay in my bed to realize that an entire day had passed where nothing bad had happened. As soon as I had the thought, I tensed up, waiting for the shoe to drop. But nothing happened. Geoff had met with humans, and they just played charades and Pictionary to set up a trade deal; no blood was spilled. The goblins worked on their various projects and played their games; no one had a breakdown. The weird demon horse thing spent the day tearing up Tessa''s garden, who just looked on in exasperation; no grudges were held. It was the most calm, relaxing day I had seen since entering this world. I lay awake for hours, unable to slip into the half-sleep trance we zombies used to rest. I was just too tense, worried something would ruin it. Eventually morning came without incident, and I felt more tired than ever. The one good thing about not sleeping was that I was the first to be up finally. Dawn in the forest was a surreal thing. The forest didn''t really sleep; it only changed which creatures were out. Dawn and dusk were crossover times, where even more life than usual stirred. Animals and bugs scampered, flew, leapt, and whatever else they did to move about. Every variety of chirp, call, and croak could be heard. I just stood there for a moment in the dim light, listening. My reverie was shattered by a crashing sound off to the side. When I saw the source of the racket, I relaxed again. The humans were making an early start to their logging. After making their deal with Geoff, they had decided to start the path-clearing project at the dungeon. This way they could drag the logs to the dungeon for us to purchase, and they wouldn''t have to try to find a way around the other trees. As they cleared the path, they would also be making a trail for them to haul the logs along. Handy was also up and stood at the fence, just shy of the end of his chain, silently watching the humans. His grinding bark was terrifying, but being quietly watched by a winged, fanged, pony-sized hell beast, which was only held back by a chain, was probably even more terrifying than if he had been barking at them. Another tree fell, and I realized there were no sounds of chopping, just the trees falling. I walked over to the fence to investigate. The lack of axe chopping was odd; Gabe and Gabby had said they were using axes when logging for the village. I watched as the humans moved to a new tree, leaving the fallen one for the moment. Two large men carried an odd contraption between them and set it down next to another, still standing tree. One of the men brought over a wire, which he fed through a slot on the contraption. Suddenly a bright light blinded me for a moment, and I thought the machine had exploded. Hunter the Hunter turned again, and the glare from his polished head moved away from my eyes. Blinking away spots, I saw the two I had been observing were finishing their setup of the unexploded machine. I had never seen one before, but I had heard of wire saws on Earth, and that was exactly what this was. The thin wire was fed through the machine and wrapped around the tree, settling into a thin score mark I hadn''t noticed before. Hunter himself loaded a small glowing rock into the machine, replacing a dull-looking one. A lever was thrown, and the wire began moving, slowly at first, then faster and faster. As the wire cut the tree, a crank was turned that moved the whole apparatus back, keeping tension against the trunk. In just a minute or so, the tree fell. It took longer to move and set the machine than it took to cut the tree. ¡°I need one of those¡­ a bigger one, and a smaller one.¡± The voice came from waist height just feet away, startling me. Gale had been watching as well, drawing something and making notes on her version of Geoff''s clipboard. Hers was much larger and sturdier looking. ¡°How long have you been there?¡± She just narrowed her eyes at me. At some point the workers decided they had enough fallen trees and began limbing them, while still more workers finally brought out the axes and began chopping stumps. The first delivery of stripped logs came a bit before noon, and the humans pulled a heavy-duty sled that held the front half of the log up off the ground. I had set up a bell outside the fence, and while we couldn''t hear it in the dungeon, we were rarely all inside. On the rare occasion when no one was outside to hear the bell, Handy had taken it upon himself to echo it. Rather than his spine-tingling, grinding bark, he clanged in an approximate imitation of the bell. The largest difference was the volume. They might be able to hear the hell beast in the human village. Terry opened the gate while Tessa held Handy back. I wasn''t sure how this would work, because invasions only triggered when someone or something entered the dungeon proper. But Dungeon waves started and ended at the perimeter, just outside of Mitch the Ditch. The humans dragged their delivery into the fenced area and looked around for a bit. Geoff finally approached, and Hunter met him. I was planning on staying out of the negotiations; Geoff had the amulet, so I wouldn¡¯t be able to understand the humans. Not to mention if he was going to be the main liaison, then he needed to start being the one people associated the dungeon with. They spoke back and forth a bit, Hunter obviously surprised by Geoff¡¯s sudden mastery of the human tongue. Money was exchanged, and the workers used another mechanism to release the log from the sled. ¡°They are going to keep bringing a steady stream of the wood all day. I told them not to worry about stacking it anywhere special, that we would handle it. Hunter did ask us to keep Handy clear of the gate area, though.¡± Geoff reported once the humans had left. I nodded, ¡°At some point we should get some samples of their machines and whatever it was they were using to power the saw. But¡­ maybe not immediately; we don¡¯t want to let them know how much we don''t know.¡± ¡°Way ahead of you, boss, I actually told them we could repair some of the wear and tear for them so they don''t have to take it back to the village. And they said Shale is the only one in town with any books, so that will have to wait until they return for the day to ask him about it.¡± ¡°Perfect, I''ll just get out of your way then and let you handle it.¡± I turned to go check on the rest of the dungeon, which had woken from its rest and returned to business as usual while I had been watching the humans. I only made it two steps, though, before screaming and yelling kicked off outside of the fence. A white and brown blur bounced from stump to stump among the humans. The workers all either fled or grabbed a nearby weapon, be it an axe or just a branch. No one swung right away, though, and Hunter was struggling to be heard over the panicked people and¡­ something else. Another sound was reverberating through the forest, like a tornado siren. As the small blur flashed further away before dashing back toward the humans, I realized the sound changed volume with its distance. Whatever this thing was, it was making the sound; it was wailing as it ran around and between the humans. One of the men with an axe swung as the thing ran past. He missed by a dozen feet or so, and before he could pull back and recover, his target returned. It happened in a flash, the speedy monster barely pausing at its target. The axe-wielding man never got to stand back up straight as a fountain of blood erupted from his neck, and he collapsed to the ground. Hunter yelled something again, and the rest of the humans seemed to finally hear him, slowly lowering their weapons. Geoff had also been watching the events. He must have still had Hunter targeted for translation and relayed his words. ¡°He said, ¡®Don¡¯t attack it. Don¡¯t attack it. It''s one of the twisted ones. If you don''t attack it, it won''t attack you.¡¯¡± I squinted, trying to get a better look, but it was just too fast. ¡°What the hell is that thing?¡± ¡°Don''t know, never seen something like that before. But that cry... I HAVE heard that before¡­ Goblins know to stay away from that sound.¡± ¡°I think anything with ears knows to stay away from that sound." He just grunted. Hunter''s words proved true. None of the other humans attacked, and the wailing cry slowly faded. As the sound faded, the creature slowed as well. Soon I was finally able to get a look, though it was too far away to see properly. It was just a small furry animal with horns. The humans all remained perfectly still, even when the thing stopped its sound completely. The creature looked around quietly for a moment from its perch on top of Hunter''s head. I admired the man¡¯s nerve, being able to stand still with a fluffy ball of murder on his head. As it turned out, I was about to get a better look.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. It hopped down and started meandering toward the still open gate of our clearing. I wasn''t about to let that thing in, though, and I quickly jumped into construction mode, removed the open gate, and replaced it with a closed copy. The humans were all watching and would see the gate suddenly pop closed. It was more information than I wanted to give away, but I didn''t have an option. I confirmed and restarted time. Geoff and I watched silently as whatever it was made its way to the now-closed gate. It stopped for a moment. Then it hopped through the gate. It didn''t even seem to notice anything was there. It just bounced, and the barbed iron gate bent, twisted, and tore out of the way. Lilith spoke up, ¡°I would like to again point out the uselessness of your fence.¡± ¡°Not now." I hissed back. ¡°¡­ yeah, that¡¯s fair, sorry.¡± The minions that lingered on the surface had all seen what had happened with the human¡¯s run-in, and blessedly, they all remained still and silent. Even Terry and Handy had frozen. As it grew closer, I could see a trail of red behind it. The fence had done damage after all. Tiny cuts bled all across its body; it just didn''t seem to notice. Then I could get a better look and tell what it was. It was¡­ a jackalope¡­ A rabbit with deer antlers. But there was more; aside from the bleeding wounds, it also dripped green-tinted saliva off foot-long fangs, and its eyes glowed a nasty yellow color. Name: Vicky Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Venomous Saber-toothed Jackalope Level: 1 I was now officially done judging by level. The jackalope continued hopping along past me. Fortunately, zombies were capable of remaining still for a long time. Unfortunately, hell beasts were not. Handy whined and shuffled around a bit to keep the small monster in view. That wasn''t enough to set it off, though. It did, however, turn toward Handy and start hopping toward him. Several things happened in the next seconds, and I would later have to ask around to get the full story. First, Handy couldn''t take it anymore and barked at the jackalope, taking a threatening half step toward it. That set off the monster, which reacted almost instantly and sped forward at the hell beast in one massive jump. Terry, who had still been playing with Handy when everything started, was closest to the action and shoved Handy out of the way. The Jackalope had been laser-focused on Handy but couldn''t change direction midair, so it instead collided with Terry''s outstretched arm. Terry''s arm ripped clean off. The jackalope landed sideways, unprepared for the bloody mess under it. When it couldn''t get a proper footing, it slid along a few feet, coming to a brief stop away from any of the minions. In that moment a trap that only two people even knew existed sprung. A cage of thick iron bars sprung up out of the ground. The cage didn''t have a top, being just a circle of about six feet in diameter, but it was tall. The top of the bars reached at least ten feet up. The wailing started. Everyone started running for weapons or cover. This thing had walked through the fence without noticing it and ripped off Terry''s arm accidentally. Even this cage wouldn''t hold long. Sure enough, the creaking and groaning of strained metal being bent could be heard through the near deafening cry. Lilith spoke in my mind, ¡°Construction!¡± I stopped time. ¡°Shit, I thought I had been better about remembering that¡­ I might have been able to block the thing out or something.¡± Lilith was quiet for a moment before saying, ¡°I have a reputation of sarcasm and biting remarks to uphold¡­ pretend I said something witty and cutting. Then build a stone box around that thing before it kills everyone.¡± With a relieved chuckle, I went to do just that. But I got more errors. Error: cannot build a trap around a living monster I tried several ways to make it work. I tried air holes thinking it might be a trap because of suffocation. I tried making it huge, thinking it was about proximity. I tried leaving the ground as ground and just boxing it in from the top and sides. I even tried just reinforcing the bars and putting a top on the cage. Nothing worked. ¡°Any other ideas?¡± Lilith sounded pained, ¡°¡­ not this time¡­¡± We sat in that interface, me and Lilith, for hours. We tried anything we could think of with even the remotest possibility of working. ¡°What about boxing the minions in to protect them instead?¡± I asked. ¡°It might work, but only for a little while; it will break through. What about just¡­ letting it kill them and you run for the dungeon?¡± I mentally winced, ¡°Ehh, I don¡¯t know¡­ Nothing in the dungeon will kill this thing. It is too short for the spiked log and the cable trap. The only trap that might work is the rock, but it would have to trip the wire and then stand still. Are there any traps we can add to the dungeon that could stop it?¡± ¡°Probably¡­ But we would need to ask Gale; I don¡¯t know much about traps, and she is all the way in the workshop. There¡¯s no way we could make it in time.¡± This went on and on. I was growing more and more desperate as time went on, and both of our suggestions kept getting more and more ridiculous. Until we reached a point where we just had no more ideas left. We were silent a long time, and I just floated around the dungeon''s area of influence aimlessly. Finally, as I was floating along the ground, not paying any attention to where I was, just trying to think, Lilith yelled. ¡°STOP!¡± ¡°What?!¡± ¡°What is that?!¡± she asked. ¡°What is what? What are you talking about, and why are you yelling? It''s only us in here.¡± ¡°Right there in the grass." I saw what she was talking about then; a few of the poisoned caltrops that we hadn''t needed before had been left out. I grunted, ¡°We already tried making poisons and caltrops; they still send the error.¡± ¡°You don''t need to make any; these ones are right here!¡± Damn¡­ that was risky. This was on the opposite side of the yard from where I was currently. And, while it hadn''t rained, there was still morning dew. The chances that the poison remained and was strong enough to affect the monster were low as hell. I pointed all this out to Lilith, but she just shut my protests right down. ¡°What other plan do you have?¡± So, I set everything up. I put as thick a wall as I was able to between myself and the Jackalope. I used the idea Terry had accidentally given me and scattered more slippery, squishy things around. Rather than troll arms, I went with the slime that Handy had unlocked for me. Then I braced myself, hovering my mental finger over the confirm button that would unfreeze time. ¡°When it starts¡­¡± I started, but Lilith knew what I was going to say and agreed before I could finish. ¡°Yeah, I got it, just¡­ run fast, huh?¡± I confirmed the changes. Immediately the wailing sound and the screaming hit me like a pick in my ears. I started sprinting as fast as I could to the caltrops. Only one step into my run, I found myself wishing for the quiet of the wailing before. Lilith had started her own screech to pull its attention. If the Jackalope was a tornado siren, Lilith was the tornado. Somehow, rather than just distracting sounds, she managed words. ¡°RUN TO THE DUNGEON; ROB AND I WILL STOP IT!¡± My head was pounding from all the noise, and I couldn''t look around to see if the minions heeded her words. My only job was running. I had to get to the caltrops. A quarter of the way across the yard, and I heard the thing break free. The sound of metal snapping rang out across the yard but was quickly drowned out as Lilith renewed her caterwauling. I ran harder. Halfway and I heard the wall smash, stones falling upon stones. I wasn''t going to make it. Three quarters and I could feel it behind me; I could feel it about to leap. Lilith shrieked, ¡°DOWN!" I didn''t think; I dropped. Fire ripped across my back, and everything went quiet. I thought I was dead. The smell of dirt in my face and the searing pain in my back told me otherwise. I tried to rise, to look for the Jackalope, but I couldn¡¯t move. ¡°MR. ROB?¡± I couldn¡¯t tell who it was. Lilith answered for me. ¡°We¡¯re alive¡­ well¡­ not dead anyway.¡± Footsteps. ¡°Oh Gods! Your back!¡± The pain was getting worse, and I still couldn¡¯t move. ¡°GINA¡­ come over here! Gina¡­ gina¡­¡± The voice faded, and darkness took me. I was numb when I woke back up in my bunk. I could move again, but I felt sluggish. ¡°You''re awake!¡± It was Tessa. The troll hovered over me, completely shadowing an irritated-looking Gina, who was attempting to check me over. Gale spoke from nearby, ¡°We had to¡­ uh¡­ we gave you the Geoff special¡­¡± The Geoff special? I couldn''t talk yet; I was regaining control over my body, but I wasn''t quite there yet. As I worked my jaw, Gina explained a bit better. ¡°The monster is venomous; it has a strong neurotoxin and paralytic. You were alive but unresponsive. We had to feed you the reset potion.¡± Reset potion, that was a nice way of saying they force-fed me more poison to finish off the job so I could respawn. ¡°Get me some of that venom!¡± Gale yelled excitedly. Tessa and Gina both shot her a glare, but she was unfazed, bouncing and grinning madly. I ignored her for the moment, ¡°So¡­ it worked? It''s dead? How is everyone?¡± ¡°Yes, the monster is dead. The caltrops¡­¡± ¡°Shepard!¡± Gina closed her eyes and continued, ¡°... Shepard, stuck it right in the face. Your blood... and some of Terry''s, was too slick for it to stop, and it rolled across more of the c... Shepard, sticking itself several times. It seems the poison is more effective when dried. It only managed to stand for a moment before collapsing, dead.¡± Tessa took over, ¡°Everyone is fine; you and my baby had it the worst. Terry came crying to me about his arm¡­ while carrying it¡­ in both hands¡­ Anyway, you saved my baby.¡± She couldn''t hold back anymore and scooped me up in a crushing hug. Gale was now scowling but still bounced with excitement, ¡°Hurry up and absorb the venom! I can make traps with it!¡± Gina scolded her, ¡°Just calm down. We can deal with it later; you don¡¯t need more traps right now.¡± ¡°No, you don¡¯t understand! It''s a paralytic! We can use it to knock out animals and monsters to bring back here and feed to the real traps. We get coins and fulfill the trap kill requirement for the tier! Two stones with one bird!¡± She was right, and who knew what Gina could do with something like that as well? I quickly absorbed the Jackalope unlocking the venom and returned to the troll hug. I wiggled my arm free and flashed Gale a thumbs up. She gave a little hop and squeak. 21. Training 21 Training I wanted to take the rest of the day off after the Jackalope, but Gary had another idea. My doctor Gina was attempting to turn away visitors, but Gary just brushed past them and stormed right up to my bedside. ¡°See?¡± ¡°See what?¡± I asked, confused at the goblin''s anger. Gary had been one of the calmest and most reserved of the bunch. He was probably the best fighter when it came to skill, but he always had so little to say that it was easy to forget he was there. ¡°I told you we needed to train; now everyone had their asses handed to them by a damn rabbit!¡± I tried to remember; he had said we needed to train, and a few of the goblins had been doing so. I hadn''t ever disagreed with him, so this was a bit out of the blue. ¡°You''re right, we need to train¡­¡± ¡°Of course I¡¯m right, but you aren¡¯t doing anything about it. We have to stand up against the trolls in just a handful of days, but Gale and Gabriel are the only ones who show up at training, and they aren''t doing enough.¡± I nodded, thinking about that. We had been taking it relatively easy. There had been a couple of hiccups the past couple of days, but otherwise we had just worked on the dungeon and played. But we had what amounted to a war right on our doorstep. Not to mention all the unknowns: the demon, the humans, and now random forest monsters. ¡°No¡­ You really are right¡­ Geoff, come here a minute?¡± I called to the other goblin who had been trying to get past the blockade. The three of us worked out a training schedule. There would be some free time for everyone, but a majority of our days would be spent learning to fight and sparring with one another. It wasn''t something I enjoyed, but we had to make the training mandatory, at least for now. Gary was right; we only had days before we had to fight the trolls, the weakest of which eclipsed any of us in levels and strength both. Our own trolls were strong, but they weren¡¯t fighters. Gary was only partially mollified, though. He wanted us to start immediately, but there were still a few things I needed to do first. Geoff and I went to check out how the humans were handling their losses and the insanity that had just transpired. I sent the rest of the dungeon to train with Gary. For now the training room would be the cable trap room, as it was the largest mostly empty room. When we made it to the yard, I was shocked at what we found. Hunter was guiding another sled of stripped logs into the dungeon¡¯s area. Geoff had a brief conversation with the man. It was odd being the one to look on and wait while others did the organizing, but this was part of leading. I had to keep in mind what Geoff had said: we all have our roles; this was Geoff''s. When they finished, Geoff returned with a thoughtful expression and gave me the short version. ¡°They are used to this sort of thing. The humans call this forest ¡®the frontier¡¯; it seems that it is particularly dangerous, and people sign up to come out here for the promise of a lot of money. The danger is just part of the job, and they can''t afford to stop work every time someone is hurt or lost. They are going to finish dropping this load off and then return to their village for lunch and to ¡®lick their wounds'' whatever that means. Then they''ll be back to finish the day.¡± I wasn''t sure if I should be impressed by their tenacity or disturbed by their lack of empathy. Either way, the result was the same; they wouldn''t be slowing down their deliveries. I had counted on them going home, at least for the day. With that not being the case, I would have to make sure I timed my plan for dealing with the lumber correctly. I set Geoff to watch the humans and alert me as soon as they returned to the village. When I returned to the temporary training room, everyone was lined up wielding weapons that I had no part in making. Gary spotted me approaching and looked around a bit before folding his arms and giving me an irritated glare. ¡°Where is Geoff? Everyone needs to train. Everyone.¡± I winced, ¡°I need him to watch the humans; we can take shifts in that role.¡± He clearly didn''t like that answer, but he didn¡¯t protest further. Instead he asked, ¡°What weapon do you use?¡± ¡°Uhhh, a sword maybe?¡± The looks the other goblins gave me from behind Gary''s shoulder were enough to tell me that was a bad answer. ¡°Maybe? What do you mean, maybe? You need to pick a weapon you can use, learn it, and learn to fight with it. This is important!¡± I nodded, ¡°Right, sorry. I will use a sword.¡± ¡°What kind?¡± Shit, I should have thought of that; now I would have to come up with an answer quickly, or else Gary would be pissed again. ¡°A... a longsword.¡± Gary looked at me in silence for a moment. ¡°You''re sure?¡± ¡°Of course!" I lied. The goblin shrugged and waved someone over. Gregg showed up with¡­ something. Calling it a sword would be generous. It was obviously blunted for training, but that would hardly matter as it would be just as lethal as a club. The thing was every bit of four feet long. It wasn''t very wide, but a four-foot-long piece of metal would be heavy. Fortunately, I could tell it was heavy from its size and Gregg struggling to carry it, so I didn''t make a fool of myself when I picked it up. I would be able to swing it, but it would tire me out fast. I couldn''t let anyone know I had made a mistake, so I nodded and smiled like it was just right. Gary nodded in return and gestured to an unoccupied space near the edge of the room. ¡°Terry is the only other one who picked a longsword, so you¡¯ll spar and train with him.¡± Terry stepped into the empty space holding a copy of my blunted blade. The troll swung it around in one hand like a fly swatter. With a sigh, I took my place across from him, and Gary called out for everyone to begin. I charged the troll, trying to take advantage of my smaller size and quicker feet. I didn''t even see the blow coming. One moment I was pulling back my sword to swing for the fences, and the next I was looking at the ceiling wondering what happened. This was going to be a long day. Terry pulled me back to my feet, and we squared off again for round two. An hour or a thousand later, Geoff came hurrying into the room. ¡°Mr. Rob, the humans just left for the village.¡± I somehow found the energy needed to drag myself up off the floor for the fiftieth time and ran from the room. I didn''t need to go in person for my plan, but that would hardly stop me from fleeing. Outside, the nearby forest was quiet and abandoned as advertised. I leaned against a wall and just rested for a moment before jumping into the construction interface. The workers had delivered quite a number of logs, but that wasn''t the only thing I wanted to handle right now. First, I cleaned up the mess that the fight with the Jackalope had caused. Broken, twisted metal and ruined stone blocks. I could have done this part with the humans around since they had seen me move the gate and build all of this in an instant anyway. But I was going to continue trying to limit their knowledge as much as possible. Humans were scary enough; giving Shale information on our capabilities was just a bad idea. Once everything was restored, I moved on to the main attraction: selling the logs. That was when I realized I had messed up. The logs were in the dungeon area; they already counted as part of the dungeon, so I couldn¡¯t ¡®sell'' them. I could only convert loot into coins after a dungeon wave or invasion. I wanted to smack myself. I had made this exact mistake once before already and had forgotten with all of the other things going on.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. After confirming the cleanup, I spoke to Geoff, who had followed me. ¡°We¡­ need to figure out something else. I can''t convert the logs unless they are brought in with a wave.¡± ¡°Why is that a problem?¡± ¡°Because they are inside here¡­¡± ¡°So we take them back outside and then bring them back?¡± he asked. ¡°Won''t work; they count as ours now, so they won''t count as loot.¡± Geoff held his chin for a moment before he shrugged, ¡°Well, use them as material then; from now on, we bring the logs in ourselves.¡± ¡°That will take time and goblins; Gary is already mad that someone has to be up here to watch the humans.¡± Lilith came up with the answer, ¡°Have one monster help drag the logs in. That should be enough to count as gained loot; just make sure not to dissolve their carts or anything.¡± That seemed like it should work, so I put Geoff on ¡®help the humans haul lumber¡¯ duty. Then¡­ returned to the training room, far too soon for my liking. Another hour went by before a message appeared. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 2 I continued my spar with Terry, but my distraction earned me another devastating thwack. Terry cheered as if he hadn''t won every single spar so far. I just didn''t seem to be getting better. I continued lying there, observing the others, which had nothing to do with not wanting to get pummeled again. The rest of the minions were also paired off and sparring, with Gary walking amongst them and offering pointers and critiques. I had only been able to glimpse the others as I climbed to my feet between bouts, but they at least seemed to be picking up combat with their chosen weapons. The way the goblins moved made it seem as if they had been training for months, not hours. Then the follow-up message popped up. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 4,321 lbs. Raw Wood Wave duration: 3:17 Wave reward: 2 tin Loot value: 4 silver 32 copper 10 tin Convert loot to mana coins? And now I had to kick myself again. I could convert the logs this way, but then the humans would be feet from the dissolving lumber. ¡°Shit, I''ll be right back." I started to run back to the surface to try and think up a different solution, but Gary had had enough. ¡°NO! No more excuses and interruptions, whatever it is can wait! Everyone keep practicing.¡± I almost protested and explained what was going on, but the thunderous look in the goblin''s eye made me stop. The humans were going to learn of this at some point anyway. Might as well be now, then; maybe Geoff could think of something to explain it away. I confirmed the conversion and went back to training. Terry went back to bludgeoning me for fun. Eventually Gary demanded that Geoff switch in, and we sent Gabrielle to replace him. She couldn''t communicate with the humans, but I explained the situation to her, and Geoff could explain the switch to the humans. And so we trained. The entire day was spent with the goblins practicing and learning their weapons, all while I kept getting beaten to a pulp by Terry. At least the troll didn¡¯t seem to be getting any better either. Not that he needed to be any stronger or faster to slap me across the room. I was the first to fall at the end of the day. I hadn''t been struck this time, but my body just quit obeying me, and I collapsed to the floor. As if he had been waiting for that, Gary clapped his hands and declared to the whole room. ¡°Well done, that should be enough for today; as soon as the sun rises, everyone needs to be back here again for another round.¡± Everyone groaned, and it wasn¡¯t zombie speech. Tessa, who had told Gary she wouldn''t be hitting anyone and he hadn''t fought her on it, picked me up gently and carried me with the others to the bunk room. No one was in the mood, or even able, to do anything else but rest. The next morning came far too quickly, and the routine continued. Gary tried to send Gabriel to take over human-helping duty in the morning, but he just glowered and took up his spear, facing off against his sister. Gary looked concerned but sent Gerald instead. Gerald happily complied, tossing his axe down, which sent the resident smith into an apoplectic fit of half-started curses. Gale had been paired with Gerald and so now didn''t have a sparring partner. Geoff replaced the younger goblin as her partner, but the skill disparity was a bit much. It was almost like Terry and Geoff were having a competition to see who could down their opponent faster. Hours passed, and the time came to replace Gerald for the second shift. Gale quickly volunteered, but Gary vetoed that. ¡°No, Gale, if Gabe doesn''t want to take a turn, then it''s Gregg¡¯s time to take a break.¡± It said something that everyone had agreed that hauling logs was a break from this hellish training. Gregg started to put his war hammer away, but Gale threw her weapon down. ¡°I¡¯m done. This is a waste of time. I¡¯m not learning anything. If anyone... anyone ELSE needs me, I¡¯ll be in my workshop.¡± And the furious goblin stomped off. Gary started to follow, looking just as angry as she had, but I stopped him. ¡°Wait¡­ she''s right, this isn¡¯t working for me either¡­ and she is more useful making traps.¡± Gary visibly struggled for a moment with something before waving me over. ¡°Do you see the progress? In the others I mean.¡± Gary asked quietly. I wasn''t sure where he was going with this, but I nodded anyway. I had seen the difference; just a day and a bit, and somehow the goblins had visibly improved. They still wouldn''t hold a candle to the trolls, but they all looked more skilled. It was strange, too fast. ¡°Goblins don''t live long, so we learn fast to compensate. The change is more obvious when you look at them, but you too are learning very fast. Just as fast as a goblin even.¡± That explained some things, but I definitely hadn''t been improving at the same pace as the others, and I told him as much. ¡°The others I can see, but I don''t think I¡¯ve improved at all; Terry still smashes me without trying.¡± Gary shook his head and chuckled, ¡°You can¡¯t see the difference because Terry is a monster¡­ well, more so than the rest of us. He''s three times your size, and I can already see him struggling to land a blow as easily as before.¡± ¡°mmm¡­ Maybe, but even so, Terry is small and relatively weak for a troll; we''re going to get crushed.¡± He nodded, ¡°We have to fight dirty. Watch. Terry, come spar with me for a minute.¡± The troll looked excited to have a new target to beat down. The goblins all stopped their own sparring to watch, and Gary didn''t tell them off as he normally would. The two combatants squared off, Gary with a short sword gripped tightly in one hand, Terry with his sword longer than his opponent was tall. Tessa looked wary but counted the fight down and signaled the start. Terry charged, swinging his sword in a great arc. I recognized the move as one the troll used when he wanted a quick win. Gary didn''t move. Terry''s blade whistled. If that struck Gary, he would have a broken rib at the minimum. At the last moment, Gary fell to the floor, the giant blade whizzing inches over his head. Before the troll could swing back the other way, Gary leapt up and flung a handful of dirt and sand into Terry''s face. The surprised troll dropped his sword, which skittered across the room, and grabbed his eyes. Gary rushed forward while the troll was blinded and lunged, sword pointed at the troll''s throat. A great brown hand closed around Gary''s arm, halting his charge. Tessa stared at the goblin with suppressed fury. I jumped in before someone¡­ Gary really got hurt. ¡°Enough, that¡¯s enough. Gary won; your point is made.¡± The goblin grinned madly and shook his head, ¡°Actually, I lost, and Tessa made my point.¡± Tessa released his arm and asked, ¡°What? What point?¡± ¡°We¡­ most of us anyway, are goblins. We are weak. We have to do whatever is necessary to win.¡± He pointed at Terry, who was still wiping his eyes, ¡°I did what I had to; I might have won that fight. But Tessa did what she had to. Terry won that fight because he outnumbered his opponent. We are getting stronger, but we may never match Trolls in a fight. We have to fight like this. Use dirty tricks and help each other.¡± He had a point. Though I wasn''t going to tell everyone the trolls would also be outnumbering us until we tiered up, perhaps even after that. After that little display, the training changed. We all still fought one on one, but we used the environment and often would even suddenly switch opponents, catching someone off guard. Gale never returned to the training, though, and I wasn''t going to press the matter. I hadn''t lied when I said she was better as a trap engineer. On the third day a new guest showed up. Gina was on human duty at the time and came bursting into the training area. ¡°Rob! Come quick; we have trouble!¡± On the surface was quite a scene. Trolls and humans were locked in combat. The trolls held a clear advantage, pressing the unprepared and unarmed workers back into the trees. I called out to stop the fighting, Lilith translating for me, but they ignored me or else didn''t hear. ¡°Greetings, zombie." The voice came from behind me, next to the dungeon entrance. I whirled to see a bipedal fox man relaxing against the wall, just out of sight from inside the dungeon. Name: Ezekiel Classification: Dungeon BW Avatar Race: Dungeon Level: 25 ¡°Uhhh, greetings?¡± ¡°We are handling your pest problem; no need to thank me.¡± ¡°Right¡­ Then I won''t thank you. You are¡­ Tina''s crown then?¡± I only remembered to use the troll chief''s fake name at the last moment. The fox man made a disgusted face at the mention of Tina''s name. ¡°Something like that. I¡¯ve come to deliver on our half of the bargain that¡­ Tina¡­ made. We brought some of the more unusual materials we have unlocked. And I am here to look over your dungeon; we need to see what sort of materials you have to offer for the tribute. You only have a short while left after all.¡± His words chilled me. He wanted to go into the dungeon. It was bad enough Handy had been outside and he had seen the hell beast, but if we took him inside, he would see all our defenses and secrets. Including the fact that we were far weaker than Kasumi thought we were. It was already going to be a problem trying to explain this away to the humans. We had to send him away quickly without pissing off his escort of trolls. 22. New Loot 22 New loot Ezekiel, the dungeon avatar, looked bored and ready to hurry through the tour of our dungeon. Hopefully I could use that boredom to get him out of here ASAP. ¡°Shall we get a move on then?¡± The fox man asked as he turned toward the dungeon. ¡°Wait! ... Why don''t I just show you what we can make out here? That way you don''t have to walk through the whole dungeon. It''s pretty boring after all.¡± My excuse felt weak even to my own ears. Ezekiel sighed and turned to me, ¡°I would love nothing more than to end this quickly. But we have to see the dungeon ourselves.¡± I stopped time to think up a plan. ¡°What do you think?¡± ¡°I think you should just show me the dungeon like I ask.¡± The one that answered wasn''t Lilith, and I froze in shock, staring at the still mobile Ezekiel. ¡°Y... You can move in the construction interface?¡± ¡°Obviously, I am a Dungeon crown myself, so it follows that I wouldn''t be frozen during the building phase. Have you never met another Dungeon?¡± I restarted time again before answering, ¡°Er¡­ no, I haven¡¯t.¡± ¡°Interesting¡­ Do you at least have the market portal?¡± This conversation was out of my control, and I was just following along at his pace, a bad start. ¡°We do¡­ obviously we do.¡± ¡°Hmm, yes, well, why doesn''t the avatar join us? They can guide the tour themselves.¡± I had puzzled out that the avatar thing was something we would unlock at some point that would allow Lilith and myself to act separately. We hadn''t unlocked that particular ability yet, but the trolls and this fox man apparently thought we should have. ¡°She¡¯s a bit busy¡­¡± Ezekiel¡¯s face darkened, ¡°So you make your dungeon do your dirty work as well? Disappointing.¡± Were Kasumi and Ezekiel not on good terms? It wouldn''t be that surprising. Lilith was a strong personality herself, and it rankled her that she had so little control over herself and her fate. Other Dungeon Crowns would likely be in a similar scenario. ¡°Would you be willing to... go against... Tina?¡± Ezekiel smirked knowingly at me, ¡°Tina is... disagreeable. But I won''t be offering you my neck just to spite her. You would be wise not to anger her. She is stronger and more devious than you know.¡± ¡°Alright, well back to the dungeon then. I don''t think it¡¯s a good idea to go in there; we are experimenting with... poison gas traps.¡± His eyes lit up and he started to move toward the entrance again, ¡°Ohh, now that IS interesting. What sort of gas have you managed?¡± It was just an excuse to drive him off, but now that I had said it, I did know how to make chlorine gas. Would that still be as irritating to a zombie as it was to humans? Something to look into. I tried again to deter him, ¡°If you go in there, I can''t guarantee your safety.¡± He stopped once more and looked at me through narrowed eyes. ¡°You can just give me a return token; there isn¡¯t any danger. What are you trying to hide?¡± If this were a less dangerous situation, I might be tempted to try fishing for more information. It felt like every other sentence this creature spoke gave me another bit of priceless knowledge. But I had to get him away, right now. I was saved from having to scramble for an answer, though, as a troll came sailing through the air between us, smashing into the giant tree over the dungeon. A voice speaking words I couldn¡¯t understand shook the trees, and the world seemed to grow darker. Ezekiel seemed to pale even through his fur, ¡°What sort of monster is that?¡± I had a feeling I knew, but I held my tongue and watched. A beam of light pierced the forest, unhindered by tree or troll. Wherever the narrow beam of light swept, trees fell. Several trolls were cut in half, and I expected them to stand back up as two new monsters like with Terry and Terrence, but the smoking wounds did not heal. The fox man stuttered, ¡°I¡­ I must go¡­ if you survive, bring the tribute at the agreed-upon time, or else.¡± Then he fell to all fours and bounded off into the trees, looking very much like a fox at that moment. Shale appeared, hovering off the ground like gravity was a thing for lesser men. The human looked around for a moment before his eyes locked on me, and he flew over. He spoke again, the sound reverberating through the air, deep and powerful. Without the amulet, though, I could not understand it. I tried to tell him to wait while I fetched Geoff, but my own moaning voice was just as incomprehensible to Shale. The frustration was clearly building, and the air seemed to match the man¡¯s mood, breeze stilling and pressing down on me like a weight. The tension built for a moment before Squirrely McSquirrel suddenly appeared, running up my leg to rest on my head. The squirrel chattered at Shale for a moment, and the man¡¯s anger seemed to retreat a bit. Did they understand each other? Or maybe it was just the nonsensical sight of an irate squirrel that broke the tension. The delay was enough for Geoff to show up, though. The goblin rushed up the stairs and out into the clearing, speaking frantically. Shale and Geoff spoke for a time. At one point the old human pointed at the squirrel and asked something, which Geoff answered by slapping the squirrel off my head and shooing it away. Eventually the man eyed us warily but left on foot rather than flying. ¡°What the hell happened?¡± Geoff asked once the human had disappeared into the trees. ¡°Tina sent some trolls and the crown''s avatar with some materials, but when they saw the humans, there was a fight.¡± ¡°What materials?¡± That was a good question; I hadn''t seen the supposed delivery. We had a look around but couldn''t find anything in the immediate area. Eventually I sent Terry and Geoff out to look among the corpses. As they went to leave, though, the squirrel returned, dragging a small satchel. The tiny rodent was clearly out of breath as he pushed the bag toward me and chattered. Rather than translate, Geoff spoke back, and I only got his side of the conversation. ¡°Where was it? Alright, well thanks, but why are you here? That''s not our fault. Well, why don''t you and your demon friends go kill the trolls for us then?¡± At that point I couldn¡¯t wait any more. ¡°Oi, let me in on this. I want to know that too.¡± Geoff looked at me sheepishly, ¡°Sorry, boss, I got carried away.¡± The squirrel carried on chattering, and Geoff translated. ¡°He says that they can¡¯t help unless you want a swarm of warriors to show up that make that old man look like a pathetic goblin¡­ HEY!¡±Stolen story; please report. Even I had to chuckle at that, which earned a glare from Geoff. ¡°Ask him what he means; why would warriors show up?¡± ¡°He says¡­ oh¡­ but what about the first time? Will they know¡­?" I cleared my throat and raised an eyebrow at the goblin. ¡°Apparently the humans have people who can sense powerful magic. Whenever a strong demon shows up, the humans know. If they don¡¯t like where they are sensing the power, then they send extermination squads.¡± Now I wanted an answer to Geoff''s question too, ¡°So¡­ are they on the way now?¡± The squirrel just shrugged. Awesome. With one crisis averted and another potential one on the horizon, I decided to refocus our preparations. We weren''t going to make much more progress by training right now; instead, we needed to tier up for the next major boost. Beyond that, we could also try unlocking more interesting materials like whatever was in this delivery. Before that I saw another opportunity and sent the troll and goblin out to collect some of the gear the humans abandoned. Dungeon Minion detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 6 The humans seemed to have finally been pushed by the attack to the point of quitting early for the day, so we had plenty of time to scavenge. After a while the pair returned with quite a haul. Dungeon wave complete Calculating results¡­ Adventurers slain: 0 Monsters slain: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 0 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 2 Damaged wire saws, 13 Small power crystals, 7 Small death crystals, 3 average quality axes Wave duration: 41:37 Wave reward: 4 tin Loot value: 1 gold 34 silver 12 copper 5 tin Convert loot to mana coins? After declining the conversion, I jumped into the interface and absorbed the loot as well as the contents of the satchel. It was all quite interesting. The power crystals were what Hunter had been loading into the saws, obviously to power the things. The death crystals were something I had only been told about; when the stumps were chopped down low to the ground, one of the workers would lower one of these into it. Probably these would kill the roots to prevent regrowth. Handling them myself didn''t seem to cause any problems, which I supposed was due to my not being alive. Inside the satchel were even more interesting goodies. No glass, unfortunately, but we now had access to a few different types of animal bones, something called ¡®soul catalyst¡¯ that just looked like a black stone, and emeralds. How we could use this stuff was anyone¡¯s guess, but between Gina, Gregg, Gale, and whatever we could get out of the squirrel, we were all but guaranteed to manage some useful new toys. I made a sample of each new material and took it to the training area where I called everyone for an announcement. The squirrel silently followed, but while he had helped us before, he had also nearly gotten me killed. So I picked him up and placed him gently back outside. He flipped me off again. Once everyone had gathered and I had their attention, I spoke up to everyone. ¡°Everyone, it''s almost time for whatever will happen with the trolls to happen. You''ve all been training hard, and it shows, but now we need to regroup and figure out how we can tier up and get stronger fast. I have some new stuff for the crafters to look over and test, but it came at the cost of possibly pissing off¡­ everyone, I guess. So we need to make good use of it.¡± With that, I dropped my samples on a table. Gale stood silently looking at the pile before turning to me. ¡°I''ll make you a deal.¡± She said. ¡°Oh? What sort of deal?¡± ¡°I''ll solve the trap kill requirement problem, but you have to make me one of everything here to work with.¡± ¡°Isn''t it in everyone''s best interest to tier up? Why do you need to be bribed to help?¡± She shrugged, ¡°Sure it is, but it''s also in everyone¡¯s best interest if we have the best equipment to work with. Why do I need to bargain to get the best stuff to work with?¡± That¡­ There was something wrong with that logic, but I couldn''t figure out exactly what. I made the three crafters a set of the new material each, which they greedily scooped up and disappeared into their own work areas. Gale quickly returned with a foul-smelling bag that dripped a dark liquid as she carried it. ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°Put it outside tonight¡­ and shorten Handy''s chain so he can''t get at it. In the morning our trap problem will be solved¡­ Oh, and I need my hat¡­ and a coat to go with it.¡± She handed me a drawing of the clothes, and before I could ask her about it she shoved the bag at me as well. I wanted to make some gloves to keep from touching the disgusting thing, but Gale had carried it without flinching, and I wouldn¡¯t be outdone so easily. I took the bag and did as she said. Afterward I regretted my stubbornness as I scrubbed my hand, unable to get the smell off. It stunk like hot week-old carrion. I wasn''t going to doubt Gale; whatever she had cooked up was going to work. That left killing a human as the last requirement. But it wasn''t likely that Shale would take it well if I pressed him on that just now. Time was running out, though. If we didn''t get an approved human to execute soon, we would be right back in the same place we started. Either assassinating an innocent human or trying to find someone who ¡®deserved'' it. Only this time we would be far more pressed for time. I spent the time as I thought about our options fulfilling Gale''s other demand. There was nothing wrong with providing ¡®luxury items'' like specially designed clothes, and I actually had a few different types of fabric now from various sources. The tiny goblin was building quite an image. First she had a personalized hammer forged with a wicked spike on one end and a pry bar on the handle. Then she always seemed to be working on some kind of trap or weapon schematic on her oversized clipboard. Now she had designed a hat and coat that reminded me of a small version of the Inspector Gadget getup he wore in the old cartoon, with the thin trench coat and all. Once the costume, because that was the only way I could think of it, was done, I went to deliver it. The hidden door was closed, so I knocked. Inside I could hear a panicked squeak and a clatter and shuffling noise. Finally, just before I was about to knock again, Gale opened the door. ¡°WHAT?!¡± ¡°Uhh¡­ here?¡± She looked at the offering, and her face lit up in excitement. The goblin snatched the bundle and in a whirl of fabric too fast to follow, donned the coat and hat over her usual plain clothes. She posed for a moment, head tilted down, holding the brim of her new hat. After I didn¡¯t say anything, she snapped, ¡°Well?¡± ¡°Well, what?¡± ¡°How do I look?¡± ¡°Umm¡­ like you should have a sidekick who you correct all the time?¡± She held her pose for a bit while thinking. ¡°I don''t know what that means... but I like it!¡± I burst out laughing. ¡°What?¡± She demanded, stamping her foot. That only made me laugh harder. After a moment she started laughing too. We were laughing so loudly we didn''t hear the cabinet in the corner of the room rattling. I only noticed something was wrong because of the light coming from the cracks around the door. I trailed off, and Gale followed my gaze; blinding yellow and green light strobed through the room. ¡°What''s in the cabinet, Gale?¡± ¡°Uh¡­ everything?¡± The rattling grew to a clatter and then a rumble. Finally I snapped out of my stupor and pulled Gale out of the door, slamming it shut behind her. Just as it closed and clicked shut, the light show and shaking stopped for a single second. Then the cabinet exploded, rocking the whole dungeon. When the dust settled and we climbed back to our feet, Gale immediately rushed back into the workshop and squealed. I rushed in after her and froze at the sight. The workshop was in shambles. Several half-completed projects had become shrapnel and launched across the room, and papers were smoldering but luckily not openly burning. That wasn''t what drew my attention, though. Near the epicenter of the blast bounced an excited goblin zombie girl, with a silver bird perched on her head. ¡°Sebastian!¡± She cheered. I examined the bird. Name: Sebastian Classification: Familiar to Gale Livingston Race: Pseudo-Lich Level: 2 I examined it, but I still didn''t know what I was looking at. ¡°Gale¡­ what is that?¡± ¡°HE is Sebastian. Be nice; he''s only a baby." The bird was most definitely not a baby. It looked like a fully grown crow or raven, but rather than the black that you would expect from such species, this thing was a sleek silver color. Just this side of shiny enough to be called chrome. The ¡®Familiar'' didn¡¯t move its body or make any sounds. The only signs it was alive were its head turning and tilting and the glint of intelligence behind its black eyes. ¡°Alright then,¡± I tried again, ¡°What is Sebastian?¡± Gale ceased her excitable hopping, eyes widening. She quickly peeked around the room and toward the cabinet that no longer existed. Lilith cut in as Gale searched for a suitable excuse. ¡°Liches are simple enough to understand¡­ but Pseudo-Lich? How?¡± Gale picked up something and held it up. Sebastian finally cawed for the first time as the softly glowing egg was revealed. ¡°Refresh my memory, Lilith. How do liches work?¡± I knew how they worked in stories, of course, but I wanted to hear it from someone native to this world to make sure, and Lilith seemed to have some inherent understanding of monsters. ¡°Liches are undead sorcerers who used a nasty ritual sacrificing an unborn soul as well as killing their own body to attain a form of immortality. Normally a lich can''t be killed unless their phylactery is destroyed first¡­ How that works with dungeon immortality¡­ or as a familiar¡­ or what Pseudo means here¡­ I don''t know.¡± ¡°So¡­ that egg, is that the phylactery?¡± I asked. ¡°I suppose wherever you come from, the phrase ¡®I don''t know'' means something different. Here it just means I do not fucking know. The fucking part is optional." ¡°Thanks." ¡°Any time." Sebastian cawed again, and it sounded like agreement. Gale finally gathered herself enough to explain, ¡°When no one claimed the eggs that Gabe and Gabby brought back, I did. I was trying to hatch them. I even named them all. Sebastian was the odd one, shiny and ice cold. Well, I was keeping them in that cabinet¡­ along with all the other stuff you gave me to work with¡­ now we are all caught up.¡± I most certainly was not caught up. The eggs from the scavenging mission? I remembered thinking I might try to hatch one that I had created from the interface, but then forgot about it, like so many other things. But why had it... hatched now of all times? How had it hatched? I had a million and one questions, but no one had answers. Hopefully this would turn out to be a good thing. 23. Third Tier 23 Third Tier No one seemed to have any more information on Liches, and Sebastian stayed glued to Gale. So eventually I just shrugged and offered to clean up her workshop with the construction interface. Gale emphatically refused. She did, however, demand that I replace all her destroyed materials, which included the newly unlocked ones I had just given her. Thinking that the new samples may have had something to do with the explosion, I also made her another two cabinets for storage. I did refuse to make any more eggs, at least until we figured out what we had accidentally done. There was nothing quite like an accidental Lich for inspiring caution. Once finished, I moved to leave, but Gale stopped me, ¡°Wait, I was going to show you several traps all at once, but¡­¡± She gestured at the wreckage, ¡°One did survive, though, so let me show you that.¡± We walked together to the stairs room that I wasn''t allowed to mess with until Gale finished whatever she had planned for it. Seems that time was now. She moved to the top of the stairs and looked at me with a serious expression. ¡°I worked with Gregg on this for a while. We made several prototypes and tested each of them, but in the end we settled on this. This¡­ might be a bit much even for me, though. This trap is so dangerous and painful that I could probably stop now, burn all my notes, and still be branded a war criminal.¡± Now I was intrigued; Earth had some seriously messed-up weapons, and no one was quite as good as humans at inventing suffering. Gale might be a close second, though, with her sadistic engineering. ¡°Alright, don¡¯t keep me in suspense. What is it? Let me see.¡± ¡°Are you sure? This... this is cruel and unusual to say the least.¡± ¡°Yes, yes, come on.¡± ¡°Alright then,¡± She reached into a pocket and pulled out something tiny closed within her hand. ¡°Dozens of tests, and this is the most painful thing we have found to date. Meet Evan, the EV-il master pl-AN.¡± She slowly, gently, placed what she was holding on the ground in front of the top step. I ignored the terrible name and leaned down to look at it. It was a bright yellow rectangle, about an inch long and half as wide. On the slightly raised top surface were eight tiny protrusions¡­ It was a Lego. I looked back at Gale. ¡°Where did you find this?¡± She looked surprised. ¡°Find it? We spent ages working on the most painful thing we could think of. It might not look like much, but stepping on this causes an immediate, crippling flash of pain that shoots up your leg. Anyone who steps on this will fall down the stairs without a doubt.¡± She had accidentally invented Lego... as a trap... alright then. I didn''t say anything else and just left Gale there, who was shouting about it being far worse than it looked. With that settled, as well as could be expected at least, the dungeon finally got to rest for the first time in days. My glorious rest was once again interrupted. I was woken up in the middle of the night to deal with some emergency, again. Geoff spoke as he pulled me to the surface, ¡°The humans are back, not the scary one, but the shiny one and a bunch of his friends.¡± ¡°What do they want? Are they here for a fight?¡± Lilith answered for him, as she was able to ¡®see'' outside without actually being there, ¡°Not a fight... there are no weapons. They''re carrying wounded.¡± Sure enough, when we made it to the surface, several humans were tending to a few wounded on stretchers. The injured humans did not look good. Twisted and broken limbs were in abundance, as well as blood-soaked bandages. The sound of the groans of pain was almost like the speech of the zombies. Each and every one of them was awake and suffering. Either they didn''t have any sedatives or painkillers to knock them out, or it would be too dangerous to do so. Geoff handed me the Amulet of Babel, and I looked at him questioningly. ¡°You need to hear it for yourself.¡± He answered my unspoken question. With a shrug I put it on and targeted Hunter, who had noticed us and was rising from where he had been comforting a man with a head wound. He spoke before I could, ¡°Shale says you can save them¡­ but they will turn into monsters.¡± I nodded, unable to form words as I reeled from that idea. Rather than executing criminals, Shale was offering us mortally wounded people to ¡®save'' by turning into zombies. Hunter''s voice went dark, ¡°I don''t like this. We shouldn''t be feeding each other to monsters. But I''m not in charge¡­ yet. Do what you will, monster; we are taking these two back with us when you¡¯re done.¡± He gestured to the man he had been comforting and another next to him, ¡°The other two are going to stay here¡­ with you.¡± Not only would we be turning humans into zombies, but they wanted to take them back¡­ and do what? They wouldn''t be able to talk to anyone anymore; maybe if they had known how to write, they might still have been able to communicate like that, but none of these humans could read or write to my knowledge. Did Shale want to study the best way to kill a zombie? And then there were the others. We were going to have two human zombies in the dungeon. Were they supposed to be spies? Another thing I had to consider, but didn¡¯t mention to anyone, was if I wanted to heal them without turning them into zombies. I still had the Gilded Truffle unlocked. One of those could probably heal all four of these men according to what the goblins had told me. It was expensive to make, but they would remain human. The decision should have been easy, but this was an opportunity to finish the Tier requirement, maybe the only one we would get before the confrontation with the trolls. These people had done nothing to me; they didn''t deserve to die. But was that enough to obligate me to save them? They weren''t my people; I didn''t have people anymore. I had a family of monsters who would benefit from ruthless pragmatism right now. That settled it for me. I would act with the good of the dungeon first in my mind. Being charitable to humans would have to take a back seat tonight. I nodded again and spoke to Hunter, ¡°Alright, turn away and don¡¯t look this direction no matter what you hear until I say so.¡± I wasn¡¯t thinking of protecting the knowledge of zombification so much as keeping Hunter from snapping when he saw me bite his friends. Hunter grunted at my demand but complied. Once all of the humans were looking away, I bent to the task. These were the first humans that I would bite. Human blood was sweet, but savory at the same time. I tried not to enjoy the taste, but it made me hungry. Before I reached the last wounded worker, the first started his change. It was more like the troll''s change than the goblin''s. The humans paled and started to fade from consciousness like the goblins had, but then as they reached the edge of life, their bodies rebelled. Pained choking and coughing up blood was the order of the day as the humans, one by one, went wide-eyed and rigid. One man even started to rise and reach out to Hunter for help but quickly fell limp. Hunter was true to his word and didn''t turn around, even with the sounds of clear suffering right behind him. I could see his knuckles were white and his hands shook as he clenched his fists at his side, though. In just a couple of minutes the task was done, and four new zombies staggered upright, looking about wildly.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. ¡°You can look now¡­ In fact, you better do so quickly. They probably are going to freak out soo¡­¡± The first to rise, the man with the head wound, roared in a raspy voice. ¡°HEEEELP!¡± Hunter spun, and I could see wrath and rage on his face at that moment. He went to work without a word, grabbing the zombie in a bear hug and speaking calming words to him. They couldn''t understand each other, though, so they just struggled for a while. Hunter was the stronger, and the zombie eventually calmed down and just started weeping. The others had similar reactions, and most took multiple humans to hold down while they calmed down. A rousing game of charades later, and the two zombies who were meant to return followed the group back out of the dungeon area. I could have translated for them with the amulet, and they knew that as well, but no one suggested it. This was a moment for them; I had no place in it. Hunter said they had told the wounded what the plan was before bringing them here, but they were so out of it that none of them had understood. The two who were left with us stood together some distance away. They had quickly discovered that they could understand one another, and ever since then they had been muttering quietly. I left them to it a while longer. I knew firsthand how strange suddenly becoming a monster was, and they would open up when they were ready. While I waited, I conferred with Lilith, ¡°So that was good for the requirement, right?¡± ¡°Yeah, just the trap kills now, and we can tier up.¡± Somehow the requirement that seemed easiest at the start was the last one we would be finishing. There was probably some sort of message or lesson to take from that, but I wasn''t going to worry about it. We were so close! If Gale''s weird bag thing worked as she claimed, then we would be tier three in the morning. Finally the two new zombies approached together. I got a look at them now that the excitement had died down. They looked like average everyday adult men, nothing special about them. Except they were a bit larger and more muscled than most, which could be explained by the manual labor of cutting down trees all day. And the gaping neck wounds that didn''t bleed, which could be explained by the lingering taste in my mouth. Name: H-Walter Forester Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Human Zombie Level: 5 Name: H-Lawrence Woodsman Classification: Unaffiliated Monster Race: Human Zombie Level: 6 The humans must retain their name from before the transformation. The ¡®H'' must be added to comply with the monster naming rule, like how Andy became Handy. The second name was new, but judging by these two, it would most likely be their old Class. Lawrence spoke, ¡°Monster¡­ What is happening?¡± They''d been part of the charades just like the others, but now they were in an alien environment surrounded by monsters. Rather than be exasperated at their question, I was impressed at their calmness and adaptability. I took some time to explain the situation, leaving out a few key details, like how I could have saved them without turning them into zombies. ¡°So¡­ What now?¡± Walter asked once I had finished. ¡°Well¡­ I suppose you¡¯re supposed to spy on us and report to Shale what happens in the dungeon.¡± They blinked at me for a moment before speaking again, ¡°You would let us do that?¡± I sighed, ¡°I would prefer you didn''t, but I can''t stop you without violence, and I don''t want more of that if it can be avoided. You could also just... leave, go wherever you want, back to your people if you want to and if they will have you. Or you could¡­ join us. I think you¡¯ll find we are a pretty friendly bunch.¡± The two ex-humans looked at each other and then back to me before stepping away to talk amongst themselves again. I could probably work out some way to eavesdrop, but trying to convince someone not to spy and then spying on them immediately after would probably be counterproductive. They spoke in private, but they were clearly not on the same page. Slowly the need to be sneaky about eavesdropping became an exercise in pretending not to listen as they shouted at one another. ¡°¡­ anywhere to go!¡± ¡°So, what? You''ll have us become monsters? Kill people and eat them?¡± ¡°Of course not, but they don¡¯t seem like that! They didn''t attack us; they were buying timber from us for Gods'' sake!¡± ¡°Then what was that today? We were just minding our business, and trolls come swarming out of the woods, smashing and killing! What was that?¡± ¡°I don''t know, but look at them! They aren¡¯t trolls. They¡¯re¡­ well, I don¡¯t know what they are, zombie goblins? But clearly not trolls!¡± I waved as Lawrence pointed at us. Walter scowled. ¡°I¡¯m not doing it. Stay if you want. Be a monster. I¡¯m going home.¡± They quieted down enough that I couldn''t overhear them anymore. After a bit more back and forth, Walter shook his head and stormed off. Lawrence stayed and returned to me. ¡°Alright, well, he''s going to go get himself killed. Screw him. I... I want to try. Can I join you for a while?¡± ¡°Mmm¡­ you can join¡­ but it''s permanent. Once you join, you can''t easily leave.¡± He grimaced, paused, and nodded, ¡°Alright, not much choice. Let''s do this.¡± After I explained the oath to him and what it would mean, he hesitated some more. Eventually, though, he took a deep breath and delivered his Minion Oath. I accepted. New minion added Minion details: Name: H-Lawrence Woodsman Classification: Dungeon of 1000 Corpses Monster Race: Human Zombie Level: 6 Pay rate: 1 silver per day, 2 silver per slain invader Minions detected without room assignments Any unassigned minions will be placed in stasis during invasions After seeing the pay rate, I was suddenly glad Walter decided to strike out on his own. An entire silver per day was ridiculous. ¡°Alright, Lawrence, come inside and meet the family.¡± A round of explanations and greetings followed, but everyone was exhausted, so it wasn''t long before we were all down and resting. Gale woke me early the next morning. The only way I knew it was early was because the rest of the goblins were still down. ¡°What?¡± I whispered. ¡°Come on, time to tier up." She said loudly, not caring who she disturbed. She pulled me out of bed and up the stairs outside before I could process what was happening. Outside was a field of death. Dozens of birds and small animals lay all across the yard. ¡°Tada!¡± ¡°What the hell?¡± ¡°The bag was poisoned bait¡­ sort of. Now we can tier up!¡± I asked Lilith, ¡°Did we pass the trap requirement?¡± ¡°No, not yet¡­ None of these counted.¡± Gale clicked her tongue at us while shaking her head, ¡°tsk tsk tsk, Of course they didn''t count. I don¡¯t know if they would count if they died while outside¡­ I coated little needles with the paralytic venom from the Jackalope. These are all still alive; we just need to drag them inside and squish them with Rocky!¡± Gale was scary. We decided to do as she suggested and gathered up the animals. I wasn''t willing to risk falling short for some reason, and there wasn''t much use in keeping a bunch of semi-comatose animals in constant pain, so we decided to pile up all of the victims under the rock trap. They were indeed alive; as soon as we carried them inside, the invasion notification popped up, and we were teleported away. We were lucky that we had been grouped up and there were so many more than we needed because the armfuls of crippled animals fell all over the place as we disappeared. Several were killed by the fall down the stairs, but none woke up or tripped the trap. Then we did the deed, and Gale volunteered to trip the trap manually. She clearly just wanted the coins, but with a silver going to Lawrence every day just for existing, I wasn''t too worried about her taking some extra money. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 25 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 0 Damage dealt: 431 Minions slain: 0 Loot lost: none Loot gained: A mess¡­ Seriously, what the hell? Invasion duration: 5:12 Invasion reward: 3 copper 13 tin Loot value: -5 copper Convert loot to mana coins? Immediately the next, long-awaited message popped up. Congratulations Tier up requirements met Tier advanced from Nest to Den Maximum dungeon level raised from 2 to 3 Maximum room count per floor raised from 3 to 5 Minion Title system unlocked Mini-boss system unlocked Before even bothering to consider what that all meant, I fed Lilith coins to level up; this time it took two tin, still suspiciously cheap. Dungeon level raised Dungeon level increased from 2 to 3 Maximum minion level per room increased from 2 to 3 Maximum boss level raised from 4 to 6 Maximum floor count raised from 2 to 4 Dungeon avatar manifestation unlocked Maximum Trap power per room raised from 2 to 4 Dungeon rename available Rename dungeon? I was only about halfway through reading the messages when the crown heated up to nearly burning hot for a moment before quickly turning icy. ¡°Why do I look like this?¡± The voice was Lilith''s, but rather than being in my head or right above it, it came from behind me. I turned to find someone new in the dungeon¡­ or someone with a new body. Name: Lilith Classification: Dungeon of 1000 Corpses Avatar Race: Dungeon Level: 3 She looked to be straight from an anime. She had long pink hair and pointed elflike ears, unnaturally smooth pale skin, and sharp but delicate features. She wore a fancy white lacy dress and, for some reason, a laurel crown. ¡°Lilith?¡± I asked dumbly. She looked at me, her face running through several emotions before settling on a grin. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ free!¡± 24. Semi-pro Tagonist IV 24 Semi-pro Tagonist IV Once the party reached the forest, their progress slowed significantly. After several days of leaping and running, training and delving, Hiro was exhausted. The rest of the group seemed similarly burnt out as well. The days had gotten more and more quiet as everyone had less and less to say. Magnus had taken to using a flight spell to fly over the treetops ahead of the group. At the end of the day, they found him asleep in the planned campsite. Dianne had started to stomp forward angrily, but Jacob lay a hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her, and she backed down. Finally, one morning after the days had blurred together to the point Hiro had lost track of them, Magnus came crashing back through the trees. ¡°The village is just ahead." Theodore glared at him, ¡°We knew that; the plan was to arrive there at nightfall today.¡± ¡°No, it''s just ahead, as in, a couple of hours, not half a day.¡± That was unexpected but not entirely surprising. The royal family had sponsored a team to establish a village out in the frontier in the ongoing effort to claim the land faster than the neighboring kingdoms. That the expedition team had stopped in a spot besides the assigned location and settled was almost standard practice. The news had the same effect on the weary group that a full night''s rest might have. Everyone was suddenly excited and had a bounce in their step once more. ¡°Any sign of the demon magic?¡± Jacob asked the wizard. ¡°Haven¡¯t checked yet; we can rest for a day, can''t we? I mean, even if we find the demons right this second, none of us are fit to fight.¡± Jacob wavered for a moment before Dianne stepped in. ¡°That sounds like a good idea. We can talk to the locals and see if they''ve seen anything, eat some real food, and regain our strength.¡± Jacob inclined his head to her, ¡°Very well, let''s get there quickly so we can rest longer. We start the investigation at sunrise.¡± A couple hours of travel were completed in just one as the group raced through the dense forest, each with their own style of travel. Hiro watched, fascinated; he had grown in strength, and he could now see and understand the rapid movement of those of Theodore''s level. Magnus took back to the air and flew off back the way he had come. Theodore grew glowing golden wings, crouched, and lunged forward, crossing a hundred feet in nearly an instant. Jacob was more sedate in his movement, but still impressive; he stretched this way and that for a moment, ran in place, and then leaned forward into a superhuman sprint, each footfall somehow finding just the right spot to avoid getting entangled in the brush. Dianne and Hiro were suddenly alone. She waved to Hiro, ¡°Come on, hurry up; there might not be any food left in the whole village if we let them at it for too long.¡± Their relationship had been changed during this trip. Hiro had always been hoping for something to happen between them, and Dianne had seemed receptive. The past few days, though, she had taken a different attitude toward him. Now she was still friendly, but somehow distant. It felt like an opportunity had been missed. They ran together to the village and found the party had waited for them before entering. Jacob said it was to present an image of unity. Why they needed to appear unified when entering a village under the rule of their own kingdom, Hiro couldn''t say. But it meant that they hadn''t missed out on any food, so he didn''t question it. Despite their quiet regrouping outside of the village, most of the people of the village had gathered outside and prepared to receive them. As they approached, an old man with a long beard stepped out from the crowd and bowed deeply to them. ¡°Greetings, Milords, Milady. To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?¡± The man''s words were polite and welcoming, but something in the lines of his face spoke of worry; even Hiro could see it. Jacob spoke for the party, ¡°There has been a prophecy of danger in this area. Demon magic has been felt.¡± A ripple of uneasy murmurs rolled through the villagers. Even the old man looked honestly surprised by that, so something else besides demons must have him worried about the visit then. ¡°We have seen no sign of Demons, Milord. What did the Seer see exactly?¡± ¡°Quite a lot, actually, but we cannot speak of it in the open. Demon magic being involved means we have to exercise the utmost caution in all things. I''m sure you understand.¡± ¡°Oh yes, of course. How can we assist you, milord?¡± ¡°We will need to talk to each of your villagers separately, in private. How many of you remain?¡± ¡°Seventy-three, milord.¡± ¡°Seventy-three?! A full hundred were sent; how have so many been lost?¡± ¡°Monster attacks¡ªthis area of the frontier seems particularly dangerous, Milord. You certainly will need an escort and guide when you go to investigate.¡± The old man seemed hopeful as he said that. Hiro almost pointed it out, but Theodore bumped him with an elbow, drawing his attention. When Hiro looked at the paladin, he shook his head almost imperceptibly. What exactly was all this cloak and dagger for? Jacob continued, ¡°That indeed seems wise. For today we will rest and meet with the villagers; tomorrow we begin the investigation. Are you the original leader of this settlement?¡± ¡°I am not Milord; Mayor Josef sadly was lost in a bandit attack on the road. I reluctantly took the mantle of leader when no one else stepped forward.¡± ¡°Then what is your name, sir?¡± ¡°I am Shale Milord." ¡°Just Shale? What class?¡± ¡°Shale Messenger Milord, but it has been many years since I delivered a letter.¡± ¡°Then we are in your care, Shale Messenger. Please, shall we retire indoors? I have more I would like to discuss with you. I''m sure my companions can find refreshment and news among your fine villagers.¡± Shale clenched his jaw a moment before nodding, ¡°This way, Milord, please.¡± Once Jacob and Shale had disappeared into one of the completed houses, Dianne spoke up. ¡°Ok, we split up and find out what they know. Get some of them alone and pressure them to tell the truth without Shale hovering over them. Don''t leave the village alone, and don''t get caught with your pants down. Just because they are weak villagers doesn''t mean they can''t stab you in the kidney when you look the other way.¡±A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. There were some serious trust issues going on. But the plan was a good one, and everyone split up to find some food and poor unsuspecting villagers to interrogate. Hiro lingered for a moment in the square as the others left. Just as he was about to wander off and pick a random passerby to question, someone tugged his sleeve. He looked down to find a small girl staring up at him with innocent eyes. ¡°Are you an adventurer?¡± Hiro chuckled, ¡°Something like that.¡± ¡°Are you going to kill my friends?¡± Hiro gaped in shock at the girl, ¡°Of course not, why would I kill your friends?¡± ¡°Promise?¡± ¡°I promise I won''t hurt your friends. Where are your parents?¡± ¡°Will you protect them if your friends try to kill them?¡± Hiro furrowed his brow in confusion at the girl. Why was she asking things like this? What had happened to her? ¡°My friends aren''t going to hurt yours. Why do you think they would?¡± ¡°My friends are scary. Adventurers might want to kill them.¡± ¡°I''ll tell you what: if you take me to your parents, I promise I won''t let anyone hurt your friends.¡± The little girl smiled widely, ¡°Deal! Papa is this way!¡± She quickly ran off, and Hiro had to jog to keep up, even with his enhanced body. The village was small, so it wasn''t long before Hiro found himself in front of a bald man chopping firewood. ¡°Who''s this?¡± The man asked his daughter. ¡°This is my new friend. He¡¯s an adventurer¡­ But he''s a good one; he promised to protect my friends.¡± A look of disgust fell across his face. ¡°They aren''t your friends, Cyn; they''re monsters.¡± The girl stamped her foot and glared, ¡°They are too my friends; you¡¯re just jealous because you don¡¯t have any friends!¡± With that she ran off into the nearby house, completely forgetting her new friend. The man sighed, ¡°Sorry about that. I''m Hunter. So who are you really? Did you come with that group from the capital?¡± Hiro gave a strained smile, ¡°Hi Hunter, I¡¯m Hiro. Yeah, I''m¡­ a new adventurer of sorts with them. We are looking for demons that are supposed to be around here¡­ What did that little girl mean about people wanting to kill her friends? Is she alright?¡± Hunter shook his head. ¡°She''s fine¡­ Demons, huh? Haven¡¯t seen anything like that. Plenty of monsters, but no demons.¡± He seemed to hesitate before deciding to continue on with a deep breath, ¡°If you all get time, there is something you could do for us¡­ if you want us to survive long enough to build this cursed village anyway.¡± Hiro raised an eyebrow. ¡°Something besides hunting down demons?¡± Hunter laughed bitterly, ¡°Shale¡­ he''s consorting with monsters. Just last night he made us carry four of our wounded to offer up to the dungeon¡­ They were twisted into undead abominations... All that because we were attacked and wounded by those same monsters, mind you. It''s disgusting and unnatural.¡± Hiro felt sick. Undead dungeons were always stamped out as quickly as possible once they were found. Hunter was right; they just weren¡¯t natural. They were always filled with twisted mockeries of monsters. Worse though, any undead dungeons that got ahold of a person started using them against the adventurers, who would then be forced to cut down their fellow humans. Oftentimes they even looked like people the adventurers knew. Whatever god had created the undead had a sick sense of humor. ¡°Alright¡­ We¡¯re after demons¡­ but I¡¯ll make sure we kill the undead before we go as well. Shale knows about them? And he didn''t say anything¡­ maybe that is what he was hiding.¡± Hiro was only thinking out loud, but Hunter answered him anyway. ¡°I don''t know where Shale came from; no one does. But there is something strange about him. He''s strong¡­ too strong. Be careful around him. He is hiding a lot; this dungeon is probably the least of it.¡± Hiro nodded thoughtfully. If he could, he would bring one of the others to meet Hunter. They were meant to learn everything they could separately, but Hiro knew enough to know that he was not smart enough to figure this all out on his own. The fate of over seventy people rested on Hiro and his party. More than that, if the Seer was correct, then it was possible that the entire kingdom would feel the impact of these events. Hunter tried to invite Hiro inside to eat with them, but he had too much on his mind to be hungry. Instead he went to look for one of the others to ask their opinion. It was getting late, though, and the village was mostly indoors, resting from the day''s work and feeding the visitors. Hiro wandered through the streets lost in thought for a while until someone called out to him. ¡°Hiro, what are you doing? Are you alright?¡± It was Dianne. She had just stepped out of one of the houses where a couple stood in the door waving and wishing her well. Dianne had a way with people; she would know what to do. Hiro called back and pulled her to the side, where he explained what he had learned. As he told his story, Dianne looked more and more thoughtful, but not worried. That was reassuring; Hiro was worried, but Dianne would solve the problem, just like she always did. Once he finished his story, Dianne waited a moment to make sure there wasn¡¯t anything else before responding. ¡°So¡­ What is the problem?¡± Hiro wasn''t sure he had heard her correctly. ¡°Uh¡­ what?¡± ¡°What is the problem?¡± ¡°The problem? The problem is that this Shale guy is working with monsters and giving villagers to them. No one even knows where he came from.¡± Dianne nodded, ¡°What about the demons? Is Shale working with demons?¡± ¡°No, they don¡¯t know anything about the demons.¡± ¡°Right, so Shale and the monsters are a problem¡­ but not OUR problem.¡± ¡°Our problem? These people need help.¡± ¡°Maybe, but that isn¡¯t why we are here. Talk to Jacob after we deal with the demons; maybe we can help them after that. Until then, our problem is the demons. That is all we need to worry about.¡± Hiro stared at Dianne with barely contained anger. Dianne sighed, ¡°Fine, let''s go talk to this Hunter.¡± When they knocked on the door, Cynthia was the one who answered. ¡°Hi Mr. Adventurer. Is this your girlfriend? Is she nice? Papa, Mr. Adventurer is back.¡± Hiro was too overwhelmed to speak. Dianne just rolled her eyes and called into the single-room home. ¡°Mr. Hunter? I have a few questions if you have a moment.¡± A muscular woman appeared in the door. ¡°Are you the new friends Cyn won''t stop talking about? Come in; we only just started dinner; there''s plenty to go around.¡± The dinner was a simple spread of stew and bread, but it reminded Hiro of home. As they ate, Dianne interrogated the family, asking several questions Hiro had already answered for her and some he hadn''t thought to ask. Cynthia had been quiet the entire time but finally spoke up while Dianne was asking Hunter what he actually expected them to do about the monsters and Shale. ¡°You can''t hurt my friends. Mr. Adventurer promised!¡± Hunter spoke up, sounding exasperated, ¡°They aren''t your friends, Cyn; they are monsters. I keep telling you that.¡± ¡°They are too! Why won¡¯t you listen?¡± Cynthia''s mother, Claudia, silenced the girl with a stern look. Hunter answered Dianne, ¡°You are all strong, right? Just look into it, please. Shale wasn''t part of the expedition; he shouldn''t be here. And if someone doesn''t destroy that dungeon, we''ll all be killed before we can even send a messenger for help.¡± When Hiro shot her a look, Dianne finally caved, ¡°Fine, fine. Where is this dungeon? We''ll go have a look, but Shale will have to wait until the demon issue is resolved.¡± Hunter nodded with a relieved smile, ¡°That''s all I ask. Follow the half-cut path to the north. Look for the giant tree; you can''t miss it.¡± ¡°Alright, let''s go so we can get this done and come back." Dianne said, pushing her chair in and walking to the door without looking at or waiting for Hiro. The path out of the village was indeed easy to find. Several carts and sheds full of tools stood at the edge of a partially cleared tree line. As they walked, Dianne ignored any attempt at conversation Hiro made. A short time later they found the dungeon. A tall metal fence surrounded what looked like a large yard with a garden, like one would find on a noble''s estate. The fence gate lay at the head of a rough-looking bridge crossing a ditch like a dry moat. This was already unlike any dungeon Hiro had seen. The gate was locked, and to the side stood a bell. Dianne gave Hiro a look before shrugging and ringing the bell. A moment later a spine-chilling clamor sounded back as if answering the bell. A chained beast came bounding to the gate. Somehow the sound was coming from the terrifying monster. ¡°What the hell is that thing?¡± Dianne asked, sounding nervous even with a metal fence separating them from the beast, ¡°I have no idea¡­ I¡¯ve never seen anything like it.¡± As they debated leaving empty-handed or breaking down the gate, a goblin appeared from the shadows calling out to the chained monster. Somehow they could understand the goblin''s words. ¡°Calm down, Handy; you act like these are the first humans you¡¯ve ever seen. Calm down!¡± After the monster stopped its noise and left them, the goblin spoke directly to Hiro and Dianne through the fence. ¡°Yes? Can I help you?¡± ¡°Umm¡­ You can talk?¡± Hiro asked in shock. The goblin grunted, ¡°Why do they keep sending new people? Let''s skip to the part where you''ve accepted talking monsters and just tell me what you''re here for.¡± Dianne jumped straight to the point: ¡°Hunter asked us to kill you and destroy the dungeon.¡± The goblin froze, unable to come up with an answer right away. When he did, it sounded strained, half challenging, half afraid. ¡°And? You want to try?¡± Dianne shrugged. The goblin nodded before holding up a hand. ¡°Wait here; I need to go get someone.¡± Hiro started to draw his sword, intent on keeping their element of surprise, but Dianne stopped him. ¡°Fine, hurry up, please; we are tired.¡± A short time later the goblin returned with someone else in tow. This one looked like a human with long white hair flowing out from under a crown and an impressive beard, but pale and gaunt, with pointy ears and faintly glowing eyes. The goblin spoke again, ¡°This is Rob; he''s our leader. I¡¯ll translate for him.¡± So the goblin said, but the strangely human-looking monster didn''t say anything. He just stared at Dianne. 25. Tense Introduction 25 Tense Introduction I really wanted to sit down and go over the changes after the tier and level ups, but Lilith was so excited over her liberation from being limited to hat status that she immediately ran off. A new message that I hadn''t seen before popped up when she reached the edge of the clearing. Dungeon avatar detected attempting to leave area of influence If allowed, the dungeon boss will be restricted to the area of influence until the avatar''s return Allow? Even though Lilith was at the edge of the clearing trying to leave, I could hear her voice from the crown as usual when she spoke. ¡°Rob! Let me out, please, please, please. I''ll be back soon. Please let me out of here!¡± I confirmed the prompt, and she sprinted off so fast it looked like she vanished. Dungeon avatar detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of dungeon wave: 6 Cumulative level of wave: 3 We had a lot to go over and preparations to make if we were going to survive the next few days. Lilith knew that too, so I expected she would be back soon. One of the changes was the increase of rooms and floors we were allowed. Before we had been limited to three rooms per floor and two floors, which meant we were allowed six total rooms. Now we were allowed four floors with five rooms each; that was more than triple the rooms we had before. Once the news of all the extra rooms spread, everyone had a great reason why their requests should get first priority. It took some doing, but Geoff and I managed to collect everyone¡¯s ideas, and the council gathered to discuss options and layout. It seemed I was able to maintain a connection to Lilith no matter our distance because she kept dropping her input. When I suggested she come back and join the discussions though, she just told me she had full confidence in our decision-making and ignored any further attempt to include her. The discussions took all day, and we had barely made any progress when Handy started raising a clamor outside. Geoff excused himself to deal with the interruption so we could continue. It was clear he just wanted to escape. Gale was mid-speech about how she should be allowed the final say on ten rooms so she could install more of her traps. It would sound like a good idea and be pretty convincing if not for the fact that she also wanted to block most of the new trap rooms off from invaders so that they couldn''t be damaged. Whenever she made a point that sounded marginally logical, the ever-present lich-bird on her shoulder would bob and squawk in agreement. Geoff returned before long and broke up the meeting, ¡°Rob, some humans outside need your attention.¡± ¡°What for?¡± I asked, ¡°You have the human situation handled right?¡± ¡°They aren''t like the usual humans. There is something off about them. They''re talking about deciding whether or not to destroy the dungeon.¡± So not one of Shale''s supporters then. ¡°Alright, we''ll continue this later.¡± Everyone started to file out of the room now that it had become clear the meeting was on hold, but I stopped Gale. It would be better to handle this part now before we had to sit through another hour of her explaining why her traps were the most important addition. ¡°Gale, we are going to use the new rooms for comfort and living arrangements, as well as stationing more minions for invasions. You can set traps in them, but make sure they can be quickly set and disarmed so we don¡¯t trip them all the time. And don¡¯t make them destroy the whole room, please.¡± She didn''t look pleased but nodded her understanding while Sebastian bobbed. Geoff and I made our way to the gate to greet our guests. When we approached, Geoff spoke with them, introducing me. Meanwhile I examined them to see what we were dealing with. Name: Hiro Classification: Semi-pro Tagonist Race: Human Level: 20 Name: Dianne Classification: Tago¡­ Error¡­ Unafilli¡­ Error Resolving¡­ Classification: Multi-classed Race: Hum¡­ Error¡­ Vamp¡­ Error Resolving¡­ Race: Dhampir Level: 10/1 It had been a while since the system had to pause and consider. Something was very strange with the woman. I vaguely remembered hearing the term Dhampir before but couldn''t recall exactly what it meant. Judging solely on the errors, though, this Dianne was unique among the creatures I had scanned until now. I must have been staring for some time because Geoff had to shake me to bring me back to the moment. ¡°Mr. Rob, what''s wrong?¡± ¡°Nothing, what were we saying?¡± I asked, shaking my head. Geoff looked concerned but continued on nonetheless, ¡°I''m going to translate. What should I say to them?¡± ¡°Ask them what they are doing here.¡± The human named Hiro answered after Geoff posed the question, ¡°Some of the villagers are worried about the dungeon and you monsters. One of them asked us to come out here and deal with you¡­ I''ve never seen monsters that could talk, only heard about it. How do you know human speech?¡± I answered through Geoff, ¡°Monsters are not the unthinking, unfeeling creatures you seem to think they are. They are people just as much as anyone. If not for the difference in appearance, you couldn¡¯t tell the difference.¡± Hiro scowled, ¡°That''s not true; monsters are... monsters! If the dungeons weren''t so useful, we would exterminate all of them!¡±This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°What about her?¡± I asked, pointing to Dianne. Until now she had remained silent, looking thoughtful. After Geoff translated, though, she looked startled and spoke up for the first time. The translation didn¡¯t come from Geoff this time but Lilith instead. ¡°She said, Me? What about me?¡± Lilith had been listening in through the crown. There were definitely some rules I did not understand when it came to her being able to speak and act through the avatar and the crown at the same time, but there were more pressing concerns just now. ¡°So I was right? She¡¯s a monster?¡± I asked the crown. ¡°I can''t tell for sure. I can understand her, and I could probably talk back to her if I tried. But it¡¯s like trying to talk through a wall. Something is off, but I can''t tell what.¡± Hiro hadn''t been part of our little discussion and answered the earlier question. ¡°What about her? Don''t try to deceive me, monster. Just because you are able to talk doesn''t mean you can turn us against each other!¡± Something in Dianne''s face told me she had some idea of what I was talking about, though, and I pressed, talking directly to her through Lilith instead of Geoff. ¡°I can''t tell exactly what you are¡­ but you¡¯re not human. You know that, though, right? What is a Dhampir?¡± She answered, but this time rather than sounding like human speech, her words sounded more like a hissing and clicking. ¡°I... I am human! What do you know? Why do you say I''m not human? Do¡­ Do you know Victor?¡± Hiro noticed her change in speech. He didn''t seem to know what to make of it though, just staring at her in horror like she had grown another head and declared puppies were delicious. Dianne herself didn''t seem to be aware that she was speaking differently, though, leaning forward and waiting for my answers. I gave them to her, though I knew they wouldn''t be what she wanted to hear. ¡°I don''t know anyone named Victor. I can tell you¡¯re not human, though. Listen to yourself; you¡¯re not even speaking like a human right now.¡± Dianne''s eyes widened, and she looked around in a panic. Hiro had stepped back a ways as we spoke and pulled out his giant sword. Geoff translated his angry words as he spat them at Dianne. ¡°You¡­ what are you? I trusted you¡­ and you¡¯re a monster! How long? What did you do to the real Dianne?¡± Dianne hurriedly answered, unconsciously switching back to human speech, ¡°I am human! Mostly¡­ I¡¯m still me, Hiro! My father was... not normal... But I¡¯m still me! Please, you have to believe me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what you are anymore¡­ but¡­ I have to kill the monsters¡­ I have to protect the people¡­¡± He took a deep breath and raised his massive slab of a sword threateningly. This was all going way too fast now. Whatever I had set into motion was well beyond my control, and Hiro was taking it all too far. Dianne was in a full panic now, quickly backpedaling. But there was nowhere for her to go, and she backed up right to the edge of the ditch. Hiro advanced on her, seeming to have passed judgment on the traitor and deciding to take her out before turning his wrath on us regular monsters. ¡°Wait! Stop!¡± I recognized the voice as Cynthia, the little girl from the village. Hiro must have recognized it as well as he stopped mid-stride and looked around for the girl. Cynthia came running out from behind a nearby tree waving her arms wildly. ¡°Don''t fight! You can''t fight! You promised you wouldn''t hurt my friends!... you¡¯re all my friends, so you can''t hurt each other! You promised!¡± Hiro looked conflicted at the declaration for some reason. The little girl had taken his attention, which presented an opportunity. Dianne had the same idea I did and fled into the woods while Geoff and I hurried back into the dungeon. That had not gone as expected. Though I really didn''t have a plan for a monster in human skin showing up. I quickly stopped time to make some emergency changes to the dungeon, just in case Hiro decided to attack anyway. Most of the changes were simple things we had settled on during the previous meetings. It took some rearranging, but I ended up with all twenty rooms that we were allowed at the new tier, which opened up a bunch of options for minion assignments and trap placements. We would really need to explore all our new options and figure out the best way to defend our home, but my information source, Lilith, was not here. Somehow she had been able to keep in contact through the crown even though she was away, but starting and closing the construction mode several times as a test made it clear that she couldn''t talk while time was stopped unless she was actually here. That was pretty inconvenient, and I asked her, as politely as I could, to hurry the hell up so we could figure out the new changes together. Fortunately Hiro decided we weren''t going anywhere and left, most likely chasing after Dianne, so we had some time. As I gave a tour of the new rooms, Gale brought up a good suggestion that I hadn''t considered before. ¡°All these rooms, we could make a network to connect them. That way you can assign minions to all of them, and they meet up somewhere to gather and defend against invaders. You can get a lot more minion levels defending that way.¡± I already did something similar on a smaller scale. I started invasions in the boss chamber but immediately joined the defenders in the bunk room. If we were to do that same thing with several rooms, we could have a horde all gather up in one room and fight together. We would still have to have some empty rooms to boost the maximum wave level and if we wanted any minions over level three to join the fighting. That wasn''t much of a problem, though, with all of these extra rooms. It made me wonder how many rooms the troll dungeon would have. They certainly were higher tier than us, and we already had access to twenty rooms. With this new suggestion we had to scrap all our previous layout plans and start fresh. I really needed to find a monster interested in architecture to take over this part of dungeon management. Finally, deep into the night, Lilith returned from her adventure. Squirrely McSquirrel followed a pace behind and to the side, like a servant waiting on their master''s word. Lilith pulled me to the side. ¡°We need to talk.¡± ¡°My thoughts exactly. What are all these new unlocks?¡± ¡°Mm, yeah, there is a lot to go over there, but first¡­¡± She looked to the squirrel expectantly, who scurried to the top of a nearby table and started chattering. Having only one translation amulet was becoming a pain. After having that thought, I had to chuckle. How much more difficult would this be without it? We brought Geoff over, who offered up the amulet, and we decided to have Lilith wear it and translate since the squirrel was clearly subservient to her and not us. She cleared her throat and launched into the unenviable task of having a conversation twice in two different languages. ¡°Now that Mistress Lilith has a body again, there are some things you should all know.¡± Squirrely McSquirrel started, ¡°Mistress Lilith is the previous Master Dungeon.¡± That was a shock, not because she had been powerful before; I had guessed that much, but for a different reason. I voiced my confusion, ¡°How is that possible? I thought Master Dungeons ascended when another appeared. The last Master Dungeon should be on another world, right?¡± The squirrel took a deep breath and ran a tiny paw through his fur before continuing, ¡°Yes and no¡­ When a dungeon ascends, the inhabitants are all given a choice. They are allowed to follow and become the first life on the new world, or they can stay. The dungeon itself is not given that choice. They do both. The previous Master Dungeon was not named Lilith; she was called Naomi. Naomi became the new world itself, but also became Lilith. Many of the monsters stayed back as well to help the new dungeon. Artemis, an archdemon, took the mantle of dungeon boss¡­ but we were betrayed. There are only a few demons left now, and we must be careful not to draw more attention than we can handle until Mistress Lilith can regain her strength.¡± There was a lot to unpack there, and I needed to take a moment before asking the next question. ¡°So¡­ the demons¡­ and Lilith, have enemies. Enemies that can track the demons and are far too strong for us. Is that what Hiro and Dianne came for? To finish the job?¡± Squirrely shook his head. ¡°No, I¡¯ve been watching them. There are five humans from the capital in the village. They seem to be looking for Derrick, but not the mistress.¡± ¡°Dianne isn''t human." I corrected the squirrel. That seemed to finally render the chatty rodent speechless, and it took several seconds for him to respond. ¡°That¡­ is very unlikely. Why do you think this?¡± I decided to tell Lilith one of my last secrets and have her decide whether to trust the squirrel. ¡°Don''t translate this right away. I can inspect people and monsters to get informati¡­¡± Lilith interrupted, ¡°I know; I see it too when you do it¡­ I thought that it was a normal thing that the crowns could do. I guess it''s unique to you¡­¡± A quirk of the translation amulet meant I could still understand what she told the squirrel, even though it was being magically changed into squeaks and clicking before reaching him. ¡°We found an artifact that lets us scan people; Dianne is not human.¡± She lied. At least I wasn''t the only one with trust issues. It probably didn''t help that we had just found out someone had betrayed Lilith recently. The squirrel didn''t seem convinced but didn''t press. The word of his mistress was law. Squirrely looked thoughtful when he spoke next, ¡°That may be an opportunity we can exploit. What is she?¡± ¡°A dhampir, whatever that is.¡± The squirrel''s eyes widened. ¡°Are you sure?¡± I nodded, and the squirrel shuddered uncomfortably. ¡°That may be very, very bad. Dhampir are half vampire and half human. Vampires are exclusive to the kingdom to the south, Kinpire. The humans of that kingdom are little better than livestock to the vampires. It''s rare for a dhampir to be born, let alone survive childhood. The vampires look down on humans as lesser. Any half-breeds are beaten to death by their own family to prevent the ire of the vampires. If she is here... I don''t know. There are too many questions and no answers. Still, we can use that. Turn the humans against her. If we are lucky, we might be able to have them take out the trolls as well¡­¡± ¡°And Derrick can''t help us because that would draw more attention? What about having him take out the trolls for us?¡± I asked. ¡°No¡­ any action would be like sending up a magical beacon asking for more trouble.¡± ¡°So¡­ what do we do next?¡± ¡°We need to prepare for a fight and gather more information. How much more time do we have?¡± I winced, ¡°One more day until we are supposed to deliver.¡± Squirrely nodded, ¡°They probably won''t attack right away, but we should be ready just in case. With the third tier, there are a lot of new options. It¡¯s a major boost to power.¡± I asked the question I knew I would regret, ¡°What are our chances?¡± The squirrel snorted, ¡°Without any interference? Bad. With all of these variables? Well... Derrick is ready to swoop in and retrieve the crown when you fall, so don''t worry too much.¡± For some reason that didn''t reassure me very much. 26. Leaving the Dungeon 26 Leaving the dungeon ¡°Alright¡­ So what new stuff did we unlock?¡± I asked. Lilith tapped her chin for a moment before answering, ¡°Only three things that are interesting¡­ The avatar system¡­¡± She held out her arms and spun in a circle as if to demonstrate her new body. I interrupted her, ¡°Actually, that¡¯s something I wanted to ask about. I haven¡¯t seen elves here, but I am an elf zombie, and now you look like an elf too. What''s going on there?¡± Squirrely McSquirrel answered, ¡°I don¡¯t know what elves are¡­ I¡¯ve never heard of them before now. There is a subconscious connection between the Boss and the dungeon; dungeon avatars usually take a form familiar to the Dungeon Boss. Most of the time that means they just look like the same race.¡± ¡°Huh¡­ alright then. Still nothing about elves¡­ Anyway, please continue. What else?¡± ¡°The minion title system¡­ and the miniboss system.¡± Lilith said. I raised an eyebrow. ¡°What does all that mean?¡± ¡°Well, now you and I can leave the dungeon, one of us at a time. The minions can get a title, which boosts their power in some respects and limits it in others. And you can designate a minion as a mini-boss.¡± ¡°What does it mean to be a mini boss? What does that change?¡± She tilted her head back and forth, considering for a moment before answering, ¡°It¡¯s sort of like the minion system. A mini boss gets a power boost and a few rules change in regards to minion room assignments, but they also get a major boost in pay rate.¡± I nodded. There was a lot to think about, and I would need to do some testing. But the new options made some sense. What I was really looking forward to was taking a break and exploring a little bit now that I could leave. From the moment I landed here, I had really been looking forward to an adventure in this world, and being almost immediately stuck in a dungeon was a bit disappointing. Unfortunately, that would have to wait until we fleshed out the defenses a bit more. Even if the squirrel was right and the trolls didn¡¯t attack right away, we still only had a bit more than a day to prepare. With the new information, we decided to map out the dungeon and settle on room assignments first. We kept the six existing rooms but changed how they connected together in order to change the path that the invaders would have to take. As the boss room and the gathering spot for the minions was on the top floor, we needed to move the boss key chest as far into the dungeon as possible. That way the invaders would need to traverse the entire dungeon before they could return and challenge the minions. Gale''s suggestion that we assign minions to as many rooms as we could and then bring them together would be difficult to put into practice. It meant we would need to add a shortcut. Tessa eventually came up with a plan that seemed like it would work. After the rockfall room, which remained the same, the invaders would have to descend all the way to the bottom of the dungeon. The new rooms slowly led back to the top, where it ended at Mable the cable trap. Gale''s workshop was still hidden behind the wall, but I added another entrance that led up into the bunk room. Now we could assign minions to each room except the rock fall room, and they could all run the dungeon, arming the traps behind themselves as they went, before taking the shortcut to the bunk room and waiting. Twenty rooms with a minion level cap of three was more than we would need with the eight goblins, one hell beast, one human zombie, and two trolls. Some math, some debating, and lots of time later, we decided the best minion assignment layout would be to give each level three minions their own room. Handy, Gabrielle, and Gabriel took three rooms. Level one Gerald and level two Gary grouped up to take another room, making four. Gregory, Gina, and Geoff were each level two, so we set up a level six room by leaving two rooms empty. That made seven. Gale and Terry were paired up, taking another three for their six levels. Ten. Tessa and Lawrence were both not likely to be fighting, each for their own reasons, but having one high-level room would be good for the wave limit and would allow them to join the defense in the worst-case scenario. The level twelve room consumed nine rooms, bringing the total to nineteen. The last room was reserved as the boss room. Everyone had an assignment, and our new wave limit was twelve. More importantly, if and when an invader finished Gale''s gauntlet of traps and unlocked the bunk room, they would be met with all of the minions all at once. After settling assignments and layout, we needed to explore the new features. I started with the title system. Geoff sat across from me as my first victi¡­ test subject, and I worked through Lilith''s instructions on how to assign a title. After some effort, I finally managed to get the message to prompt me for confirmation. Assign title to minion Geoff? I didn''t seem to have a choice on WHAT title to give Geoff¡­ or anything of that nature, and Geoff hadn''t reacted yet, so it didn''t seem like he had any feedback so far. With a shrug I confirmed. Please wait, title assignment in progress¡­ This time Geoff did react. He stiffened, and his eyes rolled back into his head. If we zombies weren¡¯t so hard to kill, I might be more worried about his reaction. As it stood, though, I was just interested in watching what was happening. His head and eyes kept moving and jerking ever so slightly, looking like he was possessed or something equally terrifying. The entire process took about five minutes, and when it finished, Geoff collapsed out of his chair into a heap on the floor. I tried questioning him, ¡°Geoff? You alright? What happened?¡± He mumbled something incoherent, and I tried again, pulling him up into a seated position first. It might have been a good idea to do this with Gina around¡­ and in a bed. Notes for next time. ¡°Geoff? You alright, buddy? Talk to me.¡± ¡°Mm, ah¡­ am okeh¡­ gimme a minute¡­¡± With each word he seemed to recover more, so I let him rest and collect himself. Several more moments passed before he felt ready to speak. ¡°Mmmm that was¡­ weird. It didn¡¯t hurt, but it felt like¡­ it felt like I was in a dream, but it was moving really, really fast¡­ Now¡­ now I know more¡­ I understand more... it''s weird. Like I have memories that aren''t my own.¡± He shook his head trying to clear it. ¡°I don¡¯t think¡­ I don''t think I can remember quite how to fight properly anymore, though. Like I¡¯ve forgotten everything Gary taught us to make room for the new stuff. I don¡¯t like it¡­ But I can understand people better now, I think.¡± As if it had been waiting for Geoff to gather himself, another message popped up and put the past few minutes into words. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. Minion Geoff assigned title: General Title details: Minion can command and lead allies more effectively. Minion cannot fight as effectively So¡­ now Geoff was a better¡­ leader? And if what he said was accurate, then he had lost some of his memories on how to fight. That raised some questions of its own. Did it mean he could just relearn those things with more training? Or was there some block on him learning to fight altogether? The title system was odd. It was apparently some sort of tradeoff that we couldn''t see before accepting that would specialize someone with some sort of information download. The next thing to test was the mini-boss system, but I was more wary of that one. Lilith claimed it would be a power boost but would also raise the pay rate and mess with the minion room assignment level. That last part was just vague enough that I didn''t want to risk it. Not when we had such a perfect room assignment layout. Lilith wasn''t able to provide any more details, and our other potential source of information, the squirrel, wasn''t sure either. We agreed to put that off for the time being. Everyone gathered, and we made plans for the last day before the war. The training from before resumed. Now that everyone would be active during invasions, that meant no one had an excuse to avoid training. No one except Gale, who dove deep into trap building. The atmosphere among the minions was tense. Lawrence, the lone human zombie, had been mostly ignored, as too much had been going on to properly bring him into the existing dynamic. Beyond that, no one was quite sure where his loyalties lay. That changed when he approached me at the side of Gary''s training session. ¡°Can I join?¡± He asked. ¡°Do you want to? We are monsters..." His mouth tightened into a line. ¡°You are fighting the trolls, right?¡± I nodded. ¡°Then I want to join. They are the reason I¡¯m¡­ in this situation. I want to fight.¡± ¡°Well, if that''s what you want¡­ I won¡¯t stop you.¡± Lawrence nodded and walked over to Gary with purpose. It might take some time, but there was hope for Lawrence to become one of us. Personally, I needed a break. It had only been a short time since I came to this world, but it felt like ages; I was getting burnt out. I was the boss, and being the boss came with a couple of perks, so I decided to exercise one of those and take a half day off to relax and explore. I found Lilith at the weapon racks looking thoughtful. ¡°I want to head out of here for a while¡­ Are you alright sticking around for the time being?¡± I didn''t really NEED to ask her, but it felt right. She just waved me off dismissively. ¡°Sure, whatever.¡± I wasn''t going to question it and risk someone coming up with a reason that I should stay. So, I hurried to the Dungeon Market portal. Ever since opening this thing for the first time, I had been dreaming of visiting the strange city beyond; it was finally time. I threw open the door and stepped through without hesitation. Dungeon boss detected leaving the dungeon Dungeon avatar given temporary authority over dungeon and minions WARNING: If invaders enter the dungeon while boss is away there will be no way to reenter until the invasion ends The warning was interesting, but I couldn''t bring myself to bother with it right then. I was in a new world, again. It was still dark with no stars in the sky. At this point I was all but certain that there was no sun, and thus no daytime, in this world. The only light sources were lamps that lined the street and windows allowing the light inside the buildings to escape. Monsters of all types walked with purpose this way and that. I spied something that looked like a four-foot-tall lobster walking on two horse-like legs. I tried examining it with my identification power, but nothing happened. That confirmed my suspicion that whatever my power was, it was blocked or ineffective in this world. I picked a random direction and started walking, just as excited to see the sights as I was to just be free of the dungeon for once. As I moved away from the portal, which just looked like a floating doorway shrouded in mist from this side, I felt a gentle pulling. The feeling was easily ignored, just a minor tug as if a string was tied to my sleeve. I focused on the feeling, trying to understand it. As I moved around testing the odd feeling, a fairy-winged frog stopped as it flew past, watched me for a minute, and croaked at me. Lilith translated through her connection with the crown, confirming that she was indeed still connected, even across dimensions. ¡°It is asking if you are new.¡± ¡°I am... was it that obvious?¡± The weird frog fairy creature croaked again, sounding suspiciously like it was laughing. ¡°Yes, but don''t worry; everyone is new once. You''re checking the pull, right? It¡¯s an invisible tether to your portal. No matter where you go, if you follow the pull, you¡¯ll find your portal.¡± I inclined my head. ¡°Thank you. I¡¯ve been wanting to come here ever since it became an option. This is the first chance I''ve had.¡± The frog bobbed in an approximation of a nod, ¡°Yeah, that''s usually the case with newcomers. I see your crown. How long have you been a dungeon boss?¡± ¡°A little more than a week.¡± The frog froze in mid-air; even its fairy wings stopped moving, and it just hovered immobile for a moment. ¡°A week? That has to be a joke, right?¡± ¡°Um¡­ no? Why? Is that strange?¡± ¡°Well, you must know someone if you managed to make it to the market already. I shrugged noncommittally. It was true that I had some connection with important people... er... rodents and demons, but there was no way I was about to tell a random monster that. The frog continued, ¡°Mmm, well, I suppose you know about the DBU then. Do you need directions?¡± ¡°DBU? What''s that?¡± ¡°Dungeon Boss Union. Your sponsor didn''t tell you then? Well, just about all of the Dungeon Bosses sign up for the DBU as soon as they can. Almost have to if you want to survive more than a year or two. Humans aren''t really the forgiving type, you know; kill one adventurer, and suddenly every wannabe hero is showing up at your doorstep. Never mind the fact that the adventurer was there to rob the dungeon or even destroy it. I¡¯m not a recruiter, though; I¡¯ll show you the way if you want. They can try to sell you on joining.¡± ¡°uhh¡­ Sure, please lead the way, Mr¡­?¡± ¡°Fernando, I would shake your hand, but I¡¯m highly toxic, cause hallucinations and all¡­ you are?¡± ¡°Rob, and thanks.¡± ¡°No problem, this way.¡± Fernando flitted off at top speed, looping back and forth so as not to get too far ahead, and I followed. As we traveled the streets, Fernando pointed at several shops along the way and gave a short explanation, really leaning into the tour guide role. It seemed many dungeons sent a permanent or semi-permanent resident into the market to rent and run a shop. The market lived up to its name, and almost every building was a shop run by one dungeon or another, and everything you could imagine was for sale there. One shop advertised enchanted legendary holy weapons; Fernando explained that if you gave the right passphrase, you could go around back and buy cursed demonic blades from the same vendor. Another shop was more like a temp agency, hiring out all varieties of help, from consultants that would help design a dungeon to mercenaries who would raid and raze human settlements for you. More mundane shops sold any and every type of material you could imagine. With a city full of shops like this, I would imagine some competition would be common. Possibly even escalating into violence, but I still hadn''t seen a single hand raised in anger. I asked Fernando about it as we went. ¡°All these monsters¡­ How are there no fights?¡± ¡°Oh, there are. They just don¡¯t last long. Do you know where we are?¡± ¡°Uh... the market?¡± Fernando chuckled, ¡°Yes, but it¡¯s not just a place¡­ not exactly. This city has another name. It¡¯s Mark. The very first Master Dungeon. This is the world that Mark became when he ascended. No one knows where the boss is, or even if he still lives. But Mark is here, all around us, all the time. If someone tries breaking one of the few rules, Mark¡­ handles it. Very quickly and very efficiently. Anyone who has been here for a few days knows not to break Mark''s rules.¡± ¡°What are they?¡± ¡°The DBU has a list posted; we''re almost there. Look.¡± He pointed ahead where a building rose like a white monolith into the sky. ¡°That¡¯s the DBU? Why so¡­ big?¡± Fernando gave a tiny shrug. ¡°Mmm, big buildings attract attention, I guess. If you wind up here and no one tells you to come here, you¡¯ll still gravitate toward the big, interesting building, yes?¡± I suppose that made some sense. It was still strange, though. If the building was large just to draw attention, then shouldn¡¯t there be decorations? Or even signs pointing the way? I hadn''t seen a single sign in the entire city. Not even the individual stores had signs advertising their wares. This place would be quite difficult to navigate without a crown or amulet to translate and ask for directions. I was the only member of our dungeon to enter here so far, but there had to be regular minions around as well. They wouldn''t have any way to communicate to shop owners. The dungeon market was a mystery for sure. Soon we found ourselves at the door to the DBU headquarters. Up close the building looked even more imposing. You would have to crane your neck back to see the top even a thousand feet out. Right at the door it seemed to stretch into the sky without end. The doorway itself seemed out of place. It looked like an old saloon door from a western, not covering the entire doorway and swinging freely. Just inside, the atmosphere changed drastically from the exterior of white stone. The floor was a giant mural map of a place I did not recognize. Here and there a small light shone on the map, as if indicating some landmark, but I couldn¡¯t tell what. The walls were an off-white, soothing color that looked like it would belong in a retirement home or something. The large entry room was abandoned save for one employee, a goblin wearing spectacles, working at a desk, and a tall green monster that seemed to be examining an interactive screen of some sort against one wall. Fernando led the way to the desk and turned to me. ¡°Well, this is where I leave you. Welcome to the Dungeon Market. If you¡¯re ever in the area, stop by Tiffany''s Tea in the green sector. It''s so good it''s like magic.¡± With that, the frog fairy left. Behind the desk, the employee waited with a bored expression. ¡°Can I help you?¡± ¡°Maybe¡­ Can you tell me about the DBU?¡± 27. Enemy Territory 27 Enemy Territory The goblin receptionist sighed, ¡°A new dungeon?¡± I nodded, ¡°I am.¡± ¡°Read this, then come back.¡± The goblin held out a thick pamphlet with bold writing across the top. I winced. ¡°I¡­ can¡¯t read that.¡± A disgusted look crossed the goblin''s face before they stood from the desk and waved me to follow. As we crossed the room, the goblin started delivering a monotone speech. ¡°Welcome, new dungeon, to the DBU headquarters. Here the top dungeons, the ones with connections to humankind, have set up a mutually beneficial arrangement. All members of the DBU and all major human settlements follow the treaties and contracts that protect even the lowest of dungeons from indiscriminate plundering.¡± As they said that last part, the goblin shot a look at me loaded with disdain, suggesting I was the ¡®lowest of dungeons.'' We had made our way to the center of the entry room, and the goblin held their arms out wide. ¡°Behold, the entire known world. Every light you see is a member of the DBU. Every light you see is both protected and protector. Monster rights are a serious concern, and the top dungeons treat all members equally.¡± We continued along, coming to the screen that the tall monster from before had recently finished checking over. The goblin tapped the screen, and a wall of text appeared. ¡°Every Dungeon you see here is a member. All have agreed to the terms and are bound to aid one another when called upon. Without the support of the DBU, the average life expectancy of a Dungeon is one month. Becoming a member will grant you a support network and access to Union-exclusive craftsmen and special artifacts. All of this, and you must only agree to a contract stating you will come when called upon and obey orders from the head of the union¡­ and pay monthly dues.¡± ¡°Obey orders? Who is the head of the union?¡± The goblin looked irritated at the interruption. ¡°We are¡­ ugh, the current Master Dungeon, Glorious Eden, run by one of the top generals from the previous Master Dungeon. Give the Goblin king.¡± The goblin raised his chin proudly, as if I should be impressed. I was not impressed; I was in shock, which was close enough to fake it. Gib was the one Squirrely McSquirrel kept warning me about. The DBU was run by Lilith''s greatest enemy. I coughed and tried to change the subject, ¡°So this board lists all the dungeons?¡± The goblin clicked their tongue and shook their head, ¡°No, only the members of the DBU.¡± ¡°Is there a dungeon named ¡®BW¡¯ on here?¡± ¡°BW? What sort of stupid name¡­ let me see¡­¡± I couldn''t read any of the words, a weakness I would have to rectify soon. It looked like the screen functioned just like a computer terminal from Earth, only supersized. Eventually the goblin nodded their head. ¡°Yes, here we are, Dungeon BW, fairly new. Riiiight¡­ there.¡± The goblin pointed to a spot on the giant floor map where a lone light shone in an expanse of green. ¡°So¡­ What happens if there is a¡­ disagreement between members of the DBU? Do the dungeons fight each other?¡± The goblin laughed, ¡°Have a problem with this BW dungeon, huh? Well, fights among members are not allowed. Seniority decides arguments. If a dungeon is abusing its seniority, a form can be filled out to file a complaint, and an officer will take a look.¡± So relying on the DBU was not just dangerous because of Lilith''s connection but also useless. I pretended to be considering, ¡°I will have to think on it; we don¡¯t have much money for the dues right now.¡± The goblin shook its head. ¡°I would hurry up if I were you. Like I said, unprotected dungeons only last about a month at best. Wouldn''t want this BW dungeon to stamp you out¡­ would we?¡± I quickly left the building while the goblin grinned evilly and waved behind me. Somehow we had enemies everywhere, even here in another dimension. After finding out who was at the top and where I was, I really didn''t feel comfortable in the market anymore. This had quickly turned from a small, relaxing break into something far more dangerous. It felt like everyone here was an enemy just waiting to strike. I hurried along the streets following the pulling sensation back to the misty door and returned back to the dungeon, feeling eyes on my back the entire way. I hadn''t been gone for long, and the minions were still going about their last-minute preparations for battle. A pile of weapons had accumulated in the bunk room, Gale could be heard tinkering in her workshop, and the other minions were still training with Gary. The last-minute training was more of a recap and discussion on what exactly the plan for battle was. No sense wearing everyone out before battle. The only minion not doing much was Handy. The hell beast was outside chewing on some sort of large bone Tessa had extracted from one of the animals the hunters had brought back. I decided to unwind by playing with the monster. The pressure had been getting to me before, and now knowing just how strong our foes were and what we faced only made it worse. Gib was the boss of the strongest dungeon in the world, the Master Dungeon. The squirrel was convinced Gib would be after Lilith, so we couldn''t let information about her or her past out of the dungeon. That was assuming Lilith''s name hadn''t already leaked out; it might already be too late. I couldn''t remember who all knew she was here. Things were going too fast¡­ Even the trolls, who were really the least of our problems, had the backing of all the Dungeon Boss Union if they wanted it. If Kasumi called on backup, could we survive? Worries and worst-case scenarios swirled around in my head. At some point, I found myself standing in the yard staring into space. I had no idea how long I had been standing there staring blankly at nothing. Someone sat on the ground next to me, Geoff, patting Handy, who crunched happily into a new bone. Geoff sighed, not looking at me, but into the trees instead. ¡°We can handle it¡­ Or we can''t. We have done our best; YOU have done your best. That¡¯s all anyone can ask. There''s no sense worrying about it so much.¡± ¡°But what if we lose?¡± Geoff shrugged, ¡°Then we lose. But no one will say we didn''t fight our hardest.¡±Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. ¡°I feel like there is something we could be doing to increase our odds¡­ Maybe there''s some way we can turn the humans against them or trick them into leaving the dungeon open¡­ something.¡± ¡°You''ll drive yourself crazy doing that. It''s almost time; just come back inside and discuss the battle plans with us. That¡¯s all there is left to do.¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ alright.¡± The battle plan discussion was really just Gary talking to the group of minions about how to fight. We all knew what we were supposed to do. We just had to do it and hope it was enough. The first strike would be the most important. If Kasumi was part of the wave, then we could destroy the dungeon by killing her and taking the crown¡­ simple. If not, then we would have to fend off the wave, and we would be rewarded for it, which would make the next wave easier. One thing I hadn''t considered was the next tier; maybe if we could tier up, we would have another major boost in power like this recent one. ¡°Lilith¡­ What are the requirements for the next tier?¡± She just shook her head sadly, ¡°Not possible, trust me. Worrying about it right now would just be a distraction.¡± I had pretty much assumed that was the case. The previous tier had taken focused effort and a good amount of time to knock out. There was no way we would be so lucky as to be able to finish another tier in less than a day. As the ¡®battle planning'' dragged on, Lawrence raised his hand, like we were in school. ¡°Lawrence¡­ You don¡¯t have to be called on¡­ What is it?¡± I asked. He looked at his hand sheepishly and lowered it. ¡°Right¡­ what about¡­ attacking them first? They wouldn''t expect it; we would have surprise on our side.¡± A few seconds later, after Geoff translated, Squirrely McSquirrel answered him, ¡°Look around. This is a dungeon; it''s built specifically for defense. If someone attacks here, they have to fight their way through a dozen or more traps to even see one of you to fight¡­ That will be true for them as well. Surprise can only get you so far, and you¡¯ll have to fight through whatever defenses they have set up to stop you. A defensive battle is much more likely to succeed.¡± Lawrence frowned but didn¡¯t argue. I added my own thoughts, ¡°We probably will have to attack at some point. Once they back off and give up. Otherwise they''ll just come back for more later. We have to get stronger first, though... ¡°Stronger¡­¡± The voice came from Sebastian, the lich bird on Gale''s shoulder. Intelligent birds often repeated words they had heard, but that was true for words, not zombie groans. Sebastian had spoken zombie in a clear voice, and it didn¡¯t sound like a regurgitation of what he had heard; it sounded thoughtful. ¡°Sebastian¡­ Can you understand us?¡± The bird just stared¡­ maybe not then. Strange Pseudo-Lichs were a topic of investigation that would have to be put off. More on the ever-expanding list of later problems. ¡°What about the mini-boss thing? I know we talked about it before, but it might be just what we need.¡± Gale asked. I grimaced, ¡°Yeah¡­ but we don''t know for sure what the result is. Lilith said it would mess with minion assignment rules¡­ What does that mean? We might shoot ourselves in the foot.¡± Tessa, who had been pretty quiet for a long while, finally spoke up, ¡°We need to try it out and see¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t want to fight, and I don¡¯t want Terry to fight. They are our people... You even said that there are copies of us with them¡­ I won''t kill Terry, not even a fake. If it ruins the assignments, then you can just take me and Terry out in order to fix it¡­¡± ¡°But¡­ don¡¯t you want to fight to protect this place?¡± I asked. ¡°I do, but not like this¡­ Killing my boy... it won''t happen.¡± I decided not to point out that the others were the originals and it was more accurate to call this zombie Tessa and Terry the fakes. Or that we had ¡®killed'' both of them at least once, maybe twice, depending on how you looked at it. I did have some amount of survival instincts after all. ¡°Alright then¡­ Lilith, do you have any idea what will happen? Any at all?¡± She shook her head, but Squirrely McSquirrel spoke up, ¡°I will point out that I was not privy to the decisions and inner workings of the previous dungeon¡­ but I did notice a couple of things. There were only a handful of mini-bosses even at the peak of the previous dungeon''s power. They always were part of the defending force, always... that''s all I know.¡± Gale stood up. ¡°I¡¯ll volunteer. I am the trap master; I should be near the traps. I''ll defend our home as a mini-boss.¡± This went against our previous decision, and I worried it was only happening now because of the looming danger. But it was true we would need some advantage, every advantage¡­ I nodded and focused on making Gale a mini-boss. Designate Minion, Gale, as Mini-boss? I checked one more time, and everyone seemed in agreement. Mini-boss selected Gale now permanently bound to dungeon Gale will no longer receive pay The dungeon is responsible for paying the level up costs Maximum level raised for Gale from 3 to 6 Mini-bosses must always be assigned to a room Mini-bosses may not leave the dungeon Upon ascension Mini-bosses are forced to ascend with the dungeon There wasn''t much unexpected there. But there were a couple of points that had serious implications. ¡°Gale¡­ Do you know what happened? Can you feel it or something?¡± I asked. I hoped she had some sort of innate understanding; I did not want to have to actually tell her. I wasn''t so lucky, though, and she shook her head. ¡°It says you are stuck with the dungeon¡­ You can''t leave, even if we manage to make it to the Master Dungeon tier and ascend.¡± She didn''t look particularly bothered by this, so I continued. ¡°I am supposed to pay for your levels now¡­ and you are always defending¡­¡± She grinned, ¡°So¡­ you gonna pay for me to level up to three then?¡± I snorted, relieved that the news didn¡¯t upset her. ¡°I¡¯ll do you one better¡­ or three better.¡± A Mini-boss has leveled up Gale: Level 2-6 Familiar Level raised in conjunction with master Sebastian: level 2-6 It ended up costing just under a copper to go from level two to six. The familiar leveling up as well was a nice bonus I hadn''t expected. A bit of testing within the construction interface revealed that there were no special rules for mini-boss assignments aside from the fact that they HAD to be assigned to a room. Still, her being level six threw off the careful balance we had set up. That just meant we had to remove either Tessa, Terry, or Lawrence to free up enough levels for her. Tessa demanded Terry be excused, even though the troll himself fought her on it. With that done, I also decided to level up myself. Leveling myself cost significantly more. Just two levels cost a copper and ten tin. At some point I would have to look into the math behind the leveling costs. There was just always more to do. Dungeon Boss level up Rob: Level 4-6 New ability: Exhume Now there was something new. An ability, I had noticed the message before saying that I hadn''t unlocked a new ability, but didn''t think much about it. Now I had unlocked ¡®Exhume,'' whatever that was. Time to ask the experts. ¡°Lilith, squirrel guy, what are abilities? How do they work?¡± The two looked at each other for a moment and shrugged. ¡°No idea¡­ something to do with you, and not the dungeon, I would guess.¡± Alright, so now I knew what I would be testing for the rest of the night. I made my way outside. I knew what the word ¡®exhume'' meant, but how it applied in the context of an ability I had no idea. It was probably a safe bet to assume it had something to do with dirt, though. I picked a random spot in the yard and¡­ thought. Nothing happened. I had hoped it worked on will like how entering and exiting the construction interface did, but I was wrong. Without anything else to do, a handful of the dungeon inhabitants followed me outside and watched. Now I was getting self-conscious. ¡°I can''t do it when you¡¯re watching!¡± Gale snorted. ¡°That¡¯s not... never mind.¡± I blocked them out and refocused on the dirt. What was I missing? This would probably be something I could research in the dungeon market. There was bound to be some decent information sources there after all. But now that I knew who ran the show, that place just felt off. I would have to figure this out myself, at least for now. Still, I couldn¡¯t think of anything. Exhume usually meant to dig up a body or something, but we didn¡¯t have any buried bodies to¡­ ¡°Gale, you''re so interested in this; you get to be the guinea pig. Go inside the dungeon and stand¡­ umm¡­ in the doorway to the bunk room.¡± She grumbled but complied. Once Geoff confirmed she was in place, I tried again, focusing on ¡®Exhuming¡¯ Gale. The goblin burst from the ground in a shower of dirt and stone. Once the clumps of dirt stopped falling and we could get a good look at her, we saw Gale. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, staring at the ground where she stood on undisturbed grass. ¡°What the hell?¡± She whispered. I grinned at her, ¡°Tada!¡± ¡°Not ta-da! Where is Sebastian?!¡± Oh¡­ We ran back into the dungeon where she had been standing moments before. On the ceiling, which was just as unbroken as the ground outside, was a smear of red and feathers. ¡°Sebastian!¡± Gale cried out. ¡°Uh¡­ oops?¡± Gale turned baleful eyes on me. ¡°Uh, oops? Really?¡± 28. Defense 28 Defense The furious look in Gale''s eyes was chilling, but before she could decide on the best way to flay me, we were distracted. The smear of blood and feathers that had been Sebastian was starting to¡­ boil away, for lack of a better term. The mess was bubbling and churning as the edges faded into red mist, which slowly swirled around in a lazy circle. There was not a single sound in the room as we all stood transfixed. More and more of the dead bird joined the red mist until finally all that remained was a red cloud. The cloud roiled for a moment, looking like a small storm with flashes of blue in place of lightning. Then, the small cloud suddenly sped toward the floor and melded into the stone as if it were passing right through. Gale sprinted off toward the stairs, and the rest of us followed. We ran down to her workshop, which was a few feet of stone below us. It took us long enough with the new routing of the dungeon that we missed most of the show. The group followed Gale to the doorway of her workshop, where we all stopped and stared. The silvery egg from before that we had guessed was a phylactery for the lich was now pulsing red in a rhythm like a heartbeat. Gale held the egg gently in two hands; she looked calm now as she held the egg, but I had seen the look in her eye when it seemed like the bird had been killed. She was very attached to the thing, even after such a short time. Unfortunately, even though the bird was probably not dead, the egg didn''t seem to be doing anything else besides pulsing. After several minutes of nothing new happening, Gale shut the door to her workshop, closing herself off from the rest of us. No one knew what we could do to help, and soon everyone broke off and went about their battle preparations. It felt like the day passed slowly and far too quickly at the same time. No one was in the mood to rest as the sun set on the last day of our deadline. I felt like I should do something, and it seemed like I wasn''t the only one. All of the minions, except for Gale, who had locked herself away, were anxious and fidgety with nothing productive to do. The night seemed to drag on, and tension only grew. Finally I had enough, ¡°STOP!¡± Everyone looked around frantically as if expecting trolls to burst from the walls. I continued my unplanned speech, ¡°This isn''t working; everyone is way too wound up¡­ I have an idea; follow me outside.¡± As we walked, I quickly enacted my plan, thanking whoever designed the dungeon system for the time stop feature. When we reached the yard, I heard several gasps. ¡°What is it?¡± Someone asked. I grinned, ¡°It''s an observation tower. When we made the tree over the entrance, we were still trying to hide the dungeon, but¡­ everyone knows about it now, so¡­¡± I waved at the tall, undisguised construction. I had taken some inspiration from firewatch towers I had seen on Earth. It was really just an elevated deck, on very tall stilts, open to the sky. The top of the tower reached well above the treetops, offering a long unbroken line of sight. It wouldn¡¯t be very useful as a lookout tower, anything could approach on the forest floor without trouble from above, but that wasn¡¯t why I had built it. The true purpose of the tower became apparent when we reached the top. The top of the tower was a wide deck that allowed one to move around and look out in any direction. There were places to sit and relax, but the main attraction was the chairs at the center of the deck, which leaned way back, like beach chairs, offering a view of the sky. With no light pollution and only the sounds of the breeze on the leaves, staring into the starry sky felt like we were in another world. There wasn''t much in the way of entertainment in this world; I hadn¡¯t even seen any evidence that the people of this world knew what electricity was. So quiet, unobstructed views of the star-filled night sky were one of the highest forms of entertainment for us all. I had never seen the night sky in this world myself and found that it was largely the same as on Earth. I didn¡¯t know any constellations or how to identify stars based on location on Earth, having never been interested enough to pay attention to such things, so to my eyes it looked just like the sky on Earth. It brought up some feelings of nostalgia and homesickness I thought I had buried. I could almost imagine I was still there and all of this had been a dream. The monsters all seemed enthralled by the sights. Several looked over the railings down at the sea of leaves and branches that they had always looked up at. Some joined my observation of the stars, only having caught glimpses of such things in gaps through the trees before. Gerald decided the best part was the long ladder up to the deck area, and he continually raced up and slid back down. The childlike glee in his face reminded me just how young some of these inhabitants were. I would have to make some sort of jungle gym for them. The tower served its purpose admirably. All of the monsters had relaxed quite a bit, and a few even slipped into the sleep-like torpor as we stared into nothingness. There would always be time to worry later; being on edge at all times would serve no purpose. There was no telling how long it would take for the trolls to come knocking either. It may take days for¡­ ¡°Hello up there. Care to come down for a chat?¡± The voice was Ezekiel, the dungeon avatar. With a sigh I climbed down to find the fox man standing there with a pair of trolls. At least it seemed like he had only brought two bodyguards and not a raiding party. When he saw me, Ezekiel smiled a predatory grin. ¡°Now, that is more like it. We were starting to think you didn''t want to see us anymore. You know you were supposed to bring the tribute today, right? Where have you been?¡± ¡°Sorry, time got away from me. I totally forgot about that with all of the humans running around. Could you give us another couple of days?¡± I tried. He laughed, ¡°Right then, let us continue this farce a bit longer, shall we?. I can understand you losing track of time, but we are here now. No need to worry yourself. Give us the materials, and we will take a few of your goblins back to¡­ have dinner with us.¡± ¡°Ahh, sure, I put your stuff down here; just let me go get it.¡± I said, as I slowly backed away toward the dungeon entrance. He was far, far above me in levels, and if he grabbed me now, there wouldn''t be much I could do to stop him from taking the crown and killing us all. Ezekiel stepped closer and gently placed a hand on my shoulder, shaking his head. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so¡­ How about you just start the construction mode and create the material here? No need for anyone to go into the dungeon, is there?¡± I tried pulling away, but it was like a steel clamp was wrapped around my shoulder, slowly squeezing. Suddenly a meteor of a troll slammed into the fox man from above. Tessa had leapt off the tower and crashed into the fox man trying to tackle him. The difference in power was apparent, though. Even surprised as he was, Ezekiel barely stumbled back a single step. The colossal impact was completely absorbed, and Ezekiel tossed the troll to the ground with ease. That was enough though, without his iron grip holding me in place, I ran. I didn''t have time to look back, but I could hear shouts and brutal impacts as several more of the minions did whatever they could to impede him. I began to regret the distance I had put between the tower and the dungeon entrance as I ran. The doorway seemed so far away, and no matter how I ran, the sounds of struggle behind me never seemed to get further away. I was so close to safety when something caught my leg and I tripped. I sprawled out halfway into the dungeon and tried to crawl the rest of the way. But my leg refused to move.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. I looked back and saw Ezekiel had both hands wrapped around my ankle and was slowly pulling me back, snarling with rage. Half a dozen of my minion friends held him down while a few more held back the troll bodyguards. Thankfully neither of the bodyguards were the original Tessa or Terry, so no one had any trouble fighting them. I tried again to pull free, but there was no breaking his grip. Slowly I began to slide back toward the dog pile. I was out of options. In desperation I tried freezing time, but I forgot that dungeon avatars were immune to the freezing time effect, and my body was not. With my active resistance suddenly gone, I started sliding back even faster. Inch by inch, I slid back toward my doom. Then I had an idea that I prayed would work. I quickly created another of my cheap, crappy swords with the construction interface and placed it next to my hand. Before I even restarted time, Ezekiel was laughing, ¡°What do you plan on doing with that? I don''t know what level you are, but you clearly can¡¯t hurt us. Not even all of your minions at once can hurt me.¡± He was right; I couldn''t hurt him with a good sword, let alone this dull junk. I restarted time and abandoned trying to pull away. Before I could slide too far back, I grabbed the sword and twisted back around to get a better angle. We made eye contact, and the fox man''s grin was slowly being replaced with a look of confusion. I smiled bitterly back and swung the sword down with all the force I could muster. My shin easily parted from my knee, and the sword sparked as it hit the stone floor. Ezekiel probably could have grabbed the other leg before I could crawl away, but the thought never occurred to him, and he just stared uncomprehendingly at the severed foot in his hand. I used the moment to roll into the dungeon away from the struggle and into safety¡­ more safety than before anyway. The sight of me cutting off my own leg had stunned all of the combatants, and, like some sort of cartoon, they all paused mid-fight to stare. I was in no danger of bleeding out, not needing blood at all for my zombie body, and the pain was surprisingly less than I had expected as well. Somehow I was the first to recover, and I dragged myself into a seated position at the top of the stairs, looking out into the yard at the shocked monsters. It was like a signal to restart, and all of the fighting resumed as soon as I looked out. Without me as a target to focus on, Ezekiel was free to retaliate against the horde dragging him down. With an ugly snarl he started throwing monsters off his back and climbed back to his feet. ¡°You want to do this the hard way, fine. I''ll have you beg me to kill you before the end.¡± I couldn¡¯t keep track of his movements after that. In the blink of an eye, Gary and Geoff had fallen, cut to ribbons by the wickedly sharp claws that were still extending from Ezekiel¡¯s hands. Flames burst from his back, taking on the shape of six more fox tails in addition to his physical one. His next punch, directed at Tessa, fell several inches short of its target, but a wave of fire continued forward, igniting the troll''s skin like dry leaves. Fiery punches, slashes, and kicks went almost entirely unanswered. Some goblins continued forward in the face of the overwhelming force; some fell back. The fight quickly turned into a chaotic one-sided slaughter. We were already down to just two combatants when Gary returned to the top of the stairs after respawning. The goblin stood next to me and whistled in awe. ¡°Wow¡­ what should we do, boss?¡± I shook my head. ¡°We can''t fight that¡­ We need to pull back and hope Gale''s traps can protect us.¡± Gary gave a mirthless chuckle. ¡°No need to pull back¡­ there isn''t anyone left to pull back.¡± And it was true, as we spoke, Ezekiel finished off Handy, who had been holding back from the fight so as to avoid hurting any of the other minions. None of us had even managed to scratch him. The fox man turned slowly back to us with hate in his eyes. He took two steps toward the dungeon, but, before crossing through the entrance, he stopped, seeming to shake off his rage. Ezekiel calmly stood up straight and brushed dirt that didn''t exist from his pants, nodded, and waved the two troll bodyguards over. He spoke quietly to them, and the larger one broke off and approached the dungeon. I examined it before it could enter and trigger the invasion. Name: Tony Classification: Dungeon BW Monster Race: Troll Level: 8 Tony crossed into the dungeon alone and triggered the invasion. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms We all teleported to our room assignments. I quickly hopped out to the bunk room where we were to gather. Either adrenaline or perhaps the urgency of the situation gave me the ability to ignore the pain of my leg. I had so many questions, but we all managed to hold our tongues until the last of us wandered in. Geoff beat me to the punch. ¡°Wait¡­ did that troll enter alone?¡± I nodded, ¡°Yes. It says there is only one invader.¡± Lilith handed me a short spear to use as a crutch and said, ¡°None of the traps have triggered yet¡­¡± ¡°What''s he doing? What¡¯s going on?¡± Tessa asked. No one had an answer. We all waited awkwardly for something to happen, but nothing did. I tried entering the construction interface to check if I had missed an invasion defeated message, but I only got an error. Several people asked, and Lilith confirmed several times that no traps had triggered yet. ¡°We need to send someone to check.¡± I finally decided. Lilith shook her head. ¡°I cannot, and neither can you, Rob. If either of us falls, then they could easily destroy the dungeon.¡± Lawrence raised his hand. ¡°I''ll go; I¡¯m pretty fast, in case he chases me.¡± It was true, the human zombie was probably the fastest among us. His longer legs had even the graceful Gabriel beat. We sent Lawrence through the back entrance to avoid opening the boss door and allowing Tony in. It seemed to take hours, but eventually he returned looking confused. ¡°It''s¡­ just standing there.¡± ¡°What?¡± I asked. He shrugged, ¡°I don''t know. It never came down the stairs¡­ It''s just standing at the top, not moving.¡± It was like the time Kasumi lured us outside to talk. Back then we eventually gave up and went to have a look, but the troll immediately turned on us and almost killed us all. This was really strange. We discussed options for a while, but we really didn''t have many. In the end we decided to attack with overwhelming numbers. We all gathered at the bottom of the stairs, this time using the boss door because if we lost thirteen to one, then we were dead anyway. Everyone gathered their weapons and climbed the stairs slowly. When I could finally see the troll, it looked just like the last time, standing completely motionless, as if oblivious to the world around it. Again, Lilith and I held back; aside from the fact that climbing stairs with one leg would be an impressive achievement, we couldn¡¯t risk one of us falling. Lilith had told me once that the dungeon would collapse if she was killed and her laurel crown was taken, just like with me. So, Gary led the way with Gabriel at his side. Eventually the two of them entered striking range with their spears. As they wound up to attack the motionless troll, Tony sprung back to life, swinging his giant arms wildly. Gary and Gabriel were both knocked off the stairs to the stone floor below. Handy snarled and leapt over the next two rows of goblins and into the troll. Lawrence was right behind Handy, and the two of them engaged the now wild troll. Handy clamped down on the troll''s neck with his wicked fangs. Tony tried dislodging the hell beast but only served to rip his own neck further. Lawrence used the distraction to stab him in the belly, spilling ropey intestines across the floor. The blood was enough to make the struggling troll slip. Before he could fall, Tony grabbed Lawrence with the hand that wasn¡¯t beating on Handy. Then with a furious roar, the three of them fell to the ground below with Gabriel and Gary. Invasion defeated Calculating results¡­ Invaders slain: 1 Invaders retreated: 0 Damage taken: 315 Damage dealt: 87 Minions slain: 4 Loot lost: none Loot gained: 1 Troll corpse Invasion duration: 21:13 Invasion reward: 1 copper 5 tin Invasion penalty: 2 copper 23 tin Loot value: 30 tin Convert loot to mana coins? I tried confirming the conversion, but before I could, another troll charged into the dungeon, and we all teleported back to our assignments. Dungeon Invaders detected Invaders: 1 Dungeon construction interface locked during invasion Dungeon entry and exit locked during invasion Unassigned minions locked in stasis for duration of invasion Moving minions to assigned rooms Only one again. Lilith answered my unspoken question, ¡°There are more of them outside¡­ I only got a glimpse when the invasion ended, but they are waiting and only sending in one at a time.¡± I rejoined the group in the bunk room. This time it took much longer for everyone to gather. Everyone looked almost as confused as I felt. Geoff finally spoke, breaking the prolonged silence, ¡°Oh¡­ oh no¡­ I think I know what''s happening.¡± Everyone turned to him expectantly. He swallowed thickly and continued. ¡°Attrition. Boss, how much did you get for that as a reward?¡± I hadn''t actually checked, but Lilith supplied the answer, ¡°None¡­ the penalty for losing minions was more than the reward.¡± Geoff nodded, and my stomach sank. They were going to bleed us dry. 29. Attack 29 Attack It didn¡¯t take long to confirm Geoff''s theory. We all went back out into the rockfall room to find another troll, just standing there. We cleaned up our attack a little but still lost more than we gained. The moment the troll died, another rushed in to take its place. Another problem was becoming apparent as well. The time between killing the one troll and being forced into another invasion was not enough to convert the bodies to coins. After the third troll, I managed to time the construction interface correctly and stop time. That allowed me to remove the bodies, but that cost more money. I was able to use the frozen time to take a look outside as well. Just outside of our clearing stood an army of trolls. Within the yard was only one troll, the one who was to invade next. ¡°How long can we keep this up?¡± I asked. After considering for a moment, Lilith answered. ¡°A fair number of times, we might be able to bring the cost down as well¡­ Maybe we can set up a trap at the door. But... I worry... why are they going for this strategy instead of a full assault?¡± That was a good question. With the numbers they had outside, they could brute force their way through all the traps. Hell, if Ezekiel invaded, he could probably survive all the traps. Then another question struck me. ¡°Why don''t they know how weak we are? The trolls have invaded a few times; they should know about the rock trap, and they should know that one troll can take several of us all at once¡­ We shouldn''t even be a speed bump to them.¡± Rather than answer, Lilith added another question to the list. ¡°Why is the avatar a fox when the whole dungeon is trolls?¡± ¡°Let''s bring in some more heads¡­ They don¡¯t seem to be in a hurry to attack, just block us from doing anything.¡± I took a bit of a gamble on my way out of the construction mode. My body was in the boss room alone, but I was still down a leg. So I made a giant rock over my head that would fall as soon as time started. The gamble paid off, and I managed to die before the invasion started. I respawned in my bed and immediately teleported back to the boss room. Once everyone gathered in the bunk room, Lilith and I explained the situation as much as we could. I sat heavily when we finished. ¡°So¡­ any ideas?¡± Everyone was quiet for a long moment. ¡°Can we rush them?¡± Geoff asked. I shook my head; Lilith answered. ¡°YOU can, but Rob and I can''t risk it. Plus... there are too many... If you tried it, you would be killed before you could do anything.¡± Gale offered her suggestion next, ¡°Can we wait them out?¡± ¡°Hmm, maybe¡­ But what does waiting them out look like? The humans from the capital are here to kill the demons; when they find out Derrick was here, then we become a group of convenient targets.¡± I said. Tessa grunted unhappily, ¡°Then¡­ what is the best-case scenario for us? Do we need to get rid of the trolls and the humans both?¡± Gabriel, who had been worryingly quiet for days now, spoke up, ¡°There are a lot of trolls out there, right? So¡­ Who is defending their dungeon?¡± When no one had an answer, he continued, ¡°We sneak out¡­ I know the way; I can lead us there. We destroy their dungeon and then have the squirrel and Derrick lead the humans away¡­ We could even blame the troll dungeon for the demons being here in the first place.¡± We all looked around at each other, but no one offered another idea. I took a deep breath and nodded, ¡°So¡­ Who''s going?¡± We had a disturbingly low wave level limit. As things stood, we could only field twelve levels at one time. Gabriel demanded to go, and Gabrielle wasn''t going to leave him to go alone, so that left only six more levels. Lilith had the same idea I did. ¡°Rob should go; he''s a decent fighter, and I can keep in contact with him while leading the defense.¡± With that decided, we came to another problem. ¡°How do we get out without them seeing us?¡± Gabrielle asked. ¡°Exhume." Geoff said simply. I almost laughed; that would work perfectly. It was almost as if the system planned this. Almost too convenient. The three of us gathered as far away from the entrance as we could get, and I used the ability on myself. I hadn''t tested it on myself, but it seemed to work just fine. One moment I was looking at Gabe and Gabby in the flickering torchlight of the dungeon, and the next I stood in the broken moonlight of the clearing. With a quick look around, I confirmed none of the attackers were looking. They all stood staring blankly into space. I used the ability twice more to bring the other two out of the dungeon. Climbing the fence that I had specifically built to be difficult to climb without drawing attention was a tense few minutes, but Gabriel was able to handle the barbs without much trouble and talked me through it as well. Once Gabrielle landed next to us, we were out and quickly away into the woods. Dungeon Minions and Dungeon Boss detected leaving area of influence Dungeon wave event started Maximum cumulative level of minions in dungeon wave: 12 Cumulative level of minions in wave: 12 WARNING: Invasion in progress, Dungeon avatar has been granted full authority over the dungeon. If the Dungeon Boss falls while an invasion is in progress they will not respawn until invasion is defeated. Aha, that was something I wish I had known before. Though it didn''t change the fact that we needed to handle this, and this was the best way to do that. We quietly followed Gabriel''s lead through the trees. The goblin was quiet and intense looking, but I caught a glimpse of a grin on his face. Hopefully he could remain calm when the fighting started, but I didn''t have high hopes for that. The hike through the forest was over in a worryingly short amount of time. I knew they were close, but we didn¡¯t take twenty minutes to get there. The dungeon was obvious from a distance, probably due to more tier requirements than we had yet to see. A large hill rose a dozen feet up; that was already strange since the forest was relatively flat. In the side of the hill was a massive stone entryway with several torches and braziers burning with blue light. From the top of the hill rose a tower of stone well over the tops of the trees. It made me wonder how the humans had missed this dungeon but somehow found ours. We were on a bit of a clock, though, so we couldn''t linger and gawk. The three of us ran to the dungeon but drew up short when we saw our target standing just inside. Kasumi, the troll girl, stood with arms crossed in the dungeon. When she noticed us, she jumped and started loudly talking to her crown in the troll language. Lilith translated. ¡°They''re here; I thought you said they were all inside!¡± After a pause, presumably listening to Ezekiel¡¯s response, she continued, ¡°Well, you missed three of them. There''s no time. Press the attack, end this now.¡± Then she looked up and spoke directly to us, ¡°Good of you to visit. To what do I owe the pleasure?¡± Gabriel charged. ¡°Don''t listen to what she says; hurry!¡± I was in agreement; it sounded like she was trying to buy time for Ezekiel to attack our people. We ignored the troll and ran into the dungeon. It was the first time I saw an invasion start from the other side. One moment the short troll was standing in front of us, lit by the moonlight. The next she was gone, and the door slammed behind us, and the room went mostly dark. You have entered a dungeon. Dungeon Tier: 8 Recommended level: 50 ERROR: Many of the dungeon monsters are away on a wave event ERROR: Many of the dungeon monsters are under-leveled for the tier Adjusting Level recommendation¡­ Recommended level: 20 The inside of the dungeon looked a lot like our own with the dark stone walls and flickering torchlight. Gabe didn''t wait for us to get our bearings, quickly striding forward into the empty room. I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. ¡°Wait, where are you going?¡± He whirled around and knocked my hand away. ¡°To pay her back, I know the way; I¡¯ve been here before, remember?¡± ¡°Just wait a minute. What if there are traps? What about trolls? Can you fight them by yourself?¡± ¡°There aren''t any traps. If I have to fight them alone, I will. I hoped you would join me.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Of course there are traps. This dungeon is tier eight; one of the tier requirements is trap kills.¡± Gabrielle stepped between us, ¡°Just slow down; we can do this together, but we can''t rush.¡±Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! He didn''t seem to like it, but Gabe walked more slowly, examining the floor as we moved into the dungeon. I made my way over to a torch mounted on the wall. After a bit of doing, I was able to pry it free of the bracket holding it. Now we had a light and a source of fire. We should be able to do this. The moment I thought that, a click echoed through the room. Gabrielle stumbled backward quickly. Several wooden spikes jutted out of the floor and ceiling where she had stood a moment before. We¡­ MIGHT be able to do this¡­ ***** Back at the dungeon... Not long after Rob and the scout siblings left, a resounding crash sounded throughout the dungeon. ¡°What was that?¡± Tessa asked worriedly. ¡°The rock trap.¡± Gale and Lilith answered together. The invasion results window appeared in front of the dungeon avatar, but she ignored it, quickly using the construction time freeze to reset the trap. ¡°Why did it go off now? I thought they were just trying to keep us locked up in here.¡± The troll zombie asked. Lilith smiled bitterly. ¡°That was before¡­ Looks like the others made it to their dungeon, and now they are trying to rush the attack.¡± As if to confirm her statement, another invasion started; this time there were twenty invaders. Lilith whistled, ¡°Well¡­ get ready¡­ this is the real one, everyone.¡± And so it was. Ezekiel had entered the dungeon as part of the invasion force, and while he could probably have used his level to shrug off most of the traps, if he did fall, then that would be it. So he stayed at the rear, directing the trolls forward one at a time to probe the defenses. In the very first room, the rock fall splattered one troll beyond regeneration. After seeing the scale of the trap, they decided to stay at least an entire room back from the lead troll. The second room was still the stairwell leading down deeper into the dungeon. The troll stepped on the LEGO and, even though they seemed to be able to ignore pain when in the mindless drone state like this, it winced. No trolls died to the LEGO trap, though. When Lilith reported that fact to the gathered minions, Gale got a frustrated look on her face. ¡°They''ll be here too quickly; too many of the traps are going to fail.¡± Gale said, sounding like the admission pained her. ¡°We can''t let them go unchallenged; we need to harass them.¡± ¡°How?¡± Gary asked. After considering a moment, Gale answered. ¡°We use the boss door... We come up behind them and attack from a distance. Push them all into the same room at the same time.¡± Everyone was quiet for a long minute. Eventually Lilith nodded, looking serious. ¡°It''s a good idea¡­ but we can''t afford to lose anyone¡­ We have to be careful and move quickly.¡± With their plan decided, the group picked a few of the quickest among them so they could retreat in a hurry. Gale, Lawrence, and Gary quietly crept out into the rockfall room. Their plan to be quiet and sneaky ended immediately as Gale let out a surprised squawk. The other two spun to see her frantically patting at her coat as if trying to put out a fire. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Gary hissed. ¡°Sebastian¡­ look!¡± Gale produced the red glowing egg from her pocket. The egg that had been pulsing red in a slow rhythm before was now glowing brightly and shaking. ¡°What''s it doing?¡± ¡°I don''t¡­¡± Gale didn''t finish. The egg floated out of her hands, slowly moved to the center of the room, and hovered there. The red glow suddenly snapped off, and the room suddenly got much darker. The blood from the troll that had died to the trap rose up from the floor and rushed toward the egg in thin ribbons. The ribbons of blood swirled around the egg faster and faster until it looked like a red sphere in the middle of the room. With an earsplitting caw, Sebastian flew out of the sphere. The ball of blood pulled along with the bird for a moment before snapping back. The egg absorbed the rebounding blood and fell to the floor, once again silver and unmoving. Gale shrieked. ¡°Sebastian!¡± The bird flew to the goblin and perched in its usual spot on her shoulder. Before any of them could question what had happened, they heard an angry roar from Ezekiel. ¡°WHO?!?!¡± Gale snatched up the egg, and the group rushed back into the bunk room, locking the door behind them. ¡°What happened?¡± Lilith asked. ¡°Um¡­ Well, we lured them back. So that should have slowed them down a bit.¡± Gale said guiltily. ***** At the invasion party¡­ We made our way through the rooms slowly. Each room had some sort of trap, but not all of them were meant to kill. Somehow they had managed to create some puzzles and moving rooms. I had a few ideas on how to recreate some of them, but at the moment it meant we had slowed to a crawl. Gabriel was quickly running out of patience, and Gabrielle had to calm him down to stop him from running off and getting himself killed several times. The one positive point was that we didn''t run into any trolls. Gabby was happy about that fact, but Gabe only complained he couldn¡¯t fight something. I was secretly worried they were gathering like we did. If we ran into a room with a dozen trolls in it, we were screwed. We made our way through dozens of rooms. Several times we got turned around and had to backtrack. Eventually, though, we came to a door with a lock on it. Gabby looked at the door in confusion. ¡°Did we get a key somewhere?¡± ¡°No, no, we did not.¡± Gabe growled. I frowned. ¡°Well¡­ we need to go back and find it, I guess¡­¡± Gabe exploded, ¡°We don''t have time for this! We need to get in there NOW!!!¡± He started pounding on the door in frustration. He soon stopped when we heard laughing from the other side. ¡°Stupid goblins. All this time and you still haven¡¯t figured it out? Oh well, by this time Ezekiel will be finishing off your friends. You are done.¡± Gabriel lost it. He charged madly at the door and started kicking and screaming at it. Gabby and I tried to calm him down, but there was no talking to him. The more he kicked and punched the door, the louder the mocking laughter grew. Somehow the laughter was too loud. Like it came from inside my own head. There was something off. Dungeons had to be possible. When I made the lock on the bunk room, I had to make a key for it. That seemed to be what was going on here¡­ but we had been turned around so many times it didn''t feel like we could have missed something so important. And¡­ why weren¡¯t there any trolls here? We hadn''t seen any trolls the entire time, just traps, puzzles, and empty rooms. I yelled over Gabriel''s incomprehensible screams. ¡°KASUMI?¡± The laughter stopped suddenly. Gabe noticed and stopped as well. ¡°Kasumi¡­ that''s your name, right? Not Tina.¡± ¡°How do you know that name?¡± ¡°Monsters all have names that start with the same letter as their race¡­ You are no troll, Kasumi.¡± ¡°Of course I am... what else would I be?¡± ¡°When Lilith got her own body, it was an elf like me¡­ Ezekiel is a fox man¡­ I''ve never managed to identify one¡­ but I remember... fox monsters... Kasumi¡­ Are you a kitsune?¡± She didn''t answer. I continued on, now confident in my reasoning. ¡°Right¡­ so, one of the things I remember about kitsune is that they have illusion and mind magic¡­ What we see isn''t necessarily what is really...¡± Before I could finish the thought, a powerful blow from something I couldn''t see struck me in the side. It hurt and knocked me to the ground, but Kasumi was something like level sixteen. If I was right, then her level was inflated, and she wasn''t nearly as strong as we thought. It was like when the level one Jackalope nearly killed us all. Level wasn''t as important as it seemed. Gabe and Gabby were slow to react. They had been listening to the exchange, but they didn''t have their own translation effects, so they could only follow my half, and it was possible they had never heard of a kitsune before. ¡°Help, She''s here, and she''s invisible, but she¡¯s weaker than we thought, and she''s alone.¡± I wasn''t sure if that last part was true, but the fact that I hadn''t been splattered suggested she didn''t have a troll backing her up. The siblings rushed to my side and readied their weapons, but the room was silent once again. ¡°Gabby, stand in the door. She''s in here somewhere; don''t let her out.¡± The goblin hurried to comply, shutting the thick wooden door and standing in front of it like a guard, effectively cutting off the only exit from the room. The doors were strange; all the rooms had them, but they were all open for some reason. I shook off the wayward thoughts as the dungeon boss made herself known again. Kasumi spoke again, ¡°So what? You figured it out? Who cares? Ezekiel is crushing your friends right now; it''s only a matter of time before he kills the dungeon and you die with it. You''ll never find me. Why don''t you start begging for forgiveness while you still can?¡± The voice again came from everywhere at once. Gabriel swept his spear in great arcs through the room, and I did the same with the torch I was still carrying. The room was small, but not small enough that we could keep an invisible enemy from slipping between us whenever we got too close. Was there really no way to catch her? Kasumi coughed in the smoke from the torch. ***** At the defense¡­ Ezekiel had followed the sounds of the group back to the boss door and stood quietly there for a short while. It seemed like he was waiting for someone to come back out again, but they had a small peephole, and none of the minions fell for the trap. The defenders spoke in hushed whispers, trying to decide what to do. ¡°Should we let him in and hope the log trap gets him?¡± Gina asked. Lilith shook her head. ¡°No, I don''t think any of the traps would get someone that strong, and we would just be letting him in.¡± ¡°Then what do we do?¡± ¡°We wait... They came in because they were in a hurry. They''re worried the other group will succeed.¡± ¡°So¡­ we just sit here?¡± Lilith was about to nod, but a loud crash interrupted them. Gale quickly ran to the peephole and just as quickly backed up. ¡°We¡­ don''t have much of a choice anymore¡­ They''re breaking the door down¡­ get ready.¡± Lilith grimaced and sent her voice through the crown to Rob. ¡°We are running out of time... hurry up.¡± Without waiting for a response, she took her place at the back of the group. Everyone raised their weapons, and another thundering blow shook the door. The next blow shattered the door, and trolls started to elbow each other to get inside first. The log trap released and struck the first troll in the chest, sending it back into the others. The next was in the door before the first hit the ground. Chaos followed. Gale fired several crossbows she had been working on. The bolts were designed to wedge into bone and stick there, hopefully slowing movement. Tessa acted as a living wall, throwing herself at the front of the charging trolls. Handy and Lawrence came in from the sides, biting and stabbing. Several goblins used spears to stab through any gaps. None of it mattered. The first trolls fell quickly enough, but the next ones pressed the line back. Quickly the first ones to fall were back on their feet and pushing forward again. It was all happening so quickly. Before long one of the defenders fell back with a busted shoulder. Then another limped away. They weren¡¯t going to last another ten minutes like this. ***** At the invasion¡­ Rob and Gabriel¡¯s attention snapped to the source of the coughing. This sound had a source, unlike the strange echoing speech from before. They lunged at the source, weapons leading the way but hit nothing. They had crossed the entire room, and that was the only sign of the enemy, and they had missed it. ¡°DAMNIT!¡± Gabriel shouted. ¡°Hush!¡± Gabrielle hissed from her spot guarding the door. We started our way back to her with great sweeping arcs of our weapons again but were interrupted when Lilith spoke through the crown. ¡°We are running out of time... hurry up.¡± I shook my head in frustration. Oh, thanks. I was taking a nap before, but now that you¡¯ve told me to hurry, I¡¯ll just go ahead and kill this invisible enemy. I almost said it aloud, but sarcasm wouldn''t help anyone right now. I led with the torch, hoping to spread the smoke as much as possible. The smoke was probably the reason the doors were all open down here. With torches being the only source of light, smoke was a real issue. But we didn''t need to breathe, so it would be a weapon for us. We stayed as evenly spaced as we could, weaving back and forth, trying to make sure there were no openings to slip past us again. We were about halfway across the room when it happened. I heard a wheezing like someone trying to hold in a cough. I looked away from the source, toward Gabby instead. She had her eyes closed until that moment, and they snapped open when she heard the sound as well. I tilted my head slightly, and she nodded in confirmation. On my next sweep I threw the torch at the sound and pulled my sword. The torch struck home and lit whatever clothes the Kitsune was wearing on fire. The illusion held, but the flames played havoc with the magic, sending distorted shadows and flares of light in every direction. Gabby launched herself at the distortions and struck something. The next instant she was flung away and into a wall. Gabriel was already swinging his spear at the now-screaming monster but missed when the illusion flared out with a flash before dissipating. Finally we could see Kasumi as she truly was. The kitsune was the same height and size as her Tine persona, probably intentionally so. She looked just like an overlarge fox with three physical tails, all of which were smoldering. Rather than walking on two legs, she was on all fours and snarling at us. The three of us regrouped in the middle of the room and spread out. With Kasumi now visible, we no longer needed a door guard. The added person gave us the coverage we needed, and there were no longer any gaps in our wall. We advanced on the kitsune, and she retreated into a corner. ¡°Ezekiel, end it! END IT NOW!¡± I started to feel bad, but Lilith broke me out of that spiral immediately. ¡°ROB, We have no time left; if you have anything up your sleeve, use it now. Hurry, hurry, hur... I pounced on the fox; Gabe and Gabby did the same. With nowhere to run, the kitsune tried to go through me. As it happens I DID have one last trick up my sleeve. I kicked the ground, pulling up short. When her target wasn''t where she expected it the fox¡¯s own jump fell short and she stumbled. I dropped my sword and grabbed her. She bit my arm which immediately snapped in her powerful jaws. I had a solid grip with my other arm as well though and bit her back. Her eyes went wide and she froze up. I ripped her throat out. Book 1 Epilogue: 30. Semi-pro Tagonist V 30 Semi-pro Tagonist V Hiro had no idea where things could have gone so wrong. One moment he and Dianne were talking to a monster, which was an experience he never expected to have, and then Dianne was suddenly hissing and clicking like a monster herself. Hiro panicked. He was ashamed of his reaction, this was Dianne, his best friend! If he could go back and change things, he would certainly ask for her side of the story, but that wasn''t what he did, and no one could change the past. Dianne had run. Hiro tried to follow; he could always go deal with the dungeon later, but there was no telling what Dianne would do if he left her alone. Tracking her proved too difficult for him, though. Hiro didn''t have any magic spells or skills that could help find someone, and whatever Dianne had done to escape was not just running. Her tracks ended within a hundred paces of entering the trees. There were no marks to indicate she had climbed the trees for some reason, her tracks just¡­ vanished. He spent hours wandering the forest looking for any sign of his best friend. Eventually though, he had to give up the chase. The rest of the party would be wondering where he had gone, and from what Theodore had said, Hiro was integral to this mission for some reason. When he made it back to the village, the Grand Paladin rushed up to meet him. ¡°Where have you been? Where is Dianne?¡± ¡°We... I don''t know¡­ Can we just finish this? Theodore looked like he wanted to say more, but something in Hiro''s face made him decide otherwise. With a nod he led Hiro to Shale''s house where the rest of the party was speaking with the leader of the village. Jacob spoke, shaking his head all the while, ¡°Trolls? No. We''re here for demons. If you have a troll problem, we can take word back to the capital when we are done. They can send an adventurer party on an official quest. Magnus, are you ready to¡­¡± Shale interrupted Jacob with a raised hand. ¡°I beg your pardon, milord. The trolls are not JUST trolls. Something leads them. None of us have seen demons, but it stands to reason that one may be puppeteering this ¡®troll dungeon.''¡± Jacob seemed to chew on that idea for a minute, and Hiro stepped forward, nearly tripping over a squirrel as it scurried from a nearby roof and into the trees. Hiro shook off the distraction and glared at the village''s leader. ¡°I spoke with some of the villagers last night. They say Shale is working with the local dungeon monsters. Why are we even talking to him?¡± Shale looked honestly shocked. Which part of his statement was surprising though, Hiro didn''t know. Jacob sighed, ¡°Look¡­ Hiro¡­ We have much more important things to be worrying over right now. I''ll tell you the same thing I told Shale. Any problems with monsters or mismanagement will have to follow the proper channels after the demons are dealt with. Magnus, please cast your scanning spell; it''s time we found the source.¡± Hiro gritted his teeth in frustration but held his tongue. The fastest way to handle the problems these people faced would be to quickly deal with the demons, and then come back for the monsters and those who fed their own people to them. Magnus chanted a long, complicated spell, accompanying it with gestures and movements almost like a dance. The spell culminated in a great leap, and Magnus landed on one foot, pointing with one arm outstretched and one leg back for balance. It would look like a joke if not for the glow under his foot keeping the man hovering just off the ground. Magnus whispered one last phrase, completing the spell, ¡°the nearest demon.¡± Then the mage began to slowly turn in the air. His outstretched hand sweeping around to point at any trace of demon magic. Hiro''s heart skipped a beat when Magnus''s pointing finger approached Shale''s direction, but the man didn''t look worried, and Magnus didn¡¯t slow, passing right by him and settling in a direction to the north. That was when Hiro realized that was the direction of the dungeon he had been at with Dianne last night. Hiro whispered so low no one could hear him, ¡°Dianne¡­ you couldn''t be¡­ no¡­ surely not.¡± His thoughts were interrupted when Theodore shouted. ¡°There¡­ DEMON!¡± Hiro''s gaze snapped up to the trees where Magnus still pointed. There, just beyond the tree line, stood a tall, black-scaled pig with glowing red eyes. As soon as Hiro made eye contact, he heard a voice in his head. ¡°Humans¡­ You disgusting mongrels¡­ Come then, let¡¯s do this.¡± Rather than charging, though, the demon faded back into the trees. Theodore rushed after it. ¡°Shit!¡± Jacob hissed, ¡°Hurry up, Hiro, go after him. Magnus, make sure Hiro can keep up!¡± Magnus grumbled but quickly cast another spell. To Hiro it seemed like the entire world slowed, but no, that wasn''t right. He had been sped up. He took off running as fast as he could, leaving the other two behind. Moving so quickly was quite like the spell Magnus had placed on them when traveling that made them all light as a feather. Hiro didn''t fall as quickly as he felt he should, so it was difficult to maintain speed. By the time he reached the trees, he had worked out that using his arms to push off obstacles was just as fast as a loping run. Theodore was just barely visible ahead as a blinding light carving a path through the trees rather than going around them. The devastation in Theodore''s wake made it difficult to recognize where they were, but Hiro was sure this wasn''t the path toward the dungeon he and Dianne had visited. If they continued on this path, they would miss the dungeon and go into the forest beyond. But that didn''t matter at the moment. First, slay the demon, then the monsters. After some amount of time traveling, Hiro wasn¡¯t sure just how much with Magnus''s spell messing with his sense of time, Theodore finally stopped. When Hiro caught up, he found the paladin standing at the bottom of a hill. The demon stood at the top, cackling down at them. Then Hiro saw why the paladin had stopped his pursuit. The hill wasn''t an ordinary hill... it was a dungeon. Another dungeon, so close to the other. This one must have been the source of the trolls that the villagers spoke about because dozens of the things poured out from a grand stone gateway in the side of the hill. Trolls were generally low to mid-level monsters, but this many all at once, with at least one demon supporting them, could prove difficult.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Theodore spoke quietly to Hiro. ¡°Is Magnus coming?¡± ¡°I don''t know; Jacob made him speed me up, so he might need to recover¡­¡± ¡°Damn¡­ Alright, I need you to distract the trolls; I will kill the demon.¡± ¡°Wait, shouldn''t we¡­?¡± But the paladin was already streaking up the hill. Hiro cursed at the man''s back but did as he was told. He picked up a stone from the ground and hurled it at a nearby troll. ¡°HEY YOU!¡± The rock bounced off a troll''s head; it turned to look at Hiro. ¡°Yeah, you! You''re ugly, and your momma dresses you funny!¡± The troll blinked at him, unimpressed. Another, smaller troll called out from inside the stone gateway. Whatever it said caused all of the trolls to turn to Hiro and roar. ¡°Oh boy¡­¡± Hiro ran, and a score of trolls followed. The chase lasted far longer than Hiro expected. His role as distraction had surely been fulfilled long ago, but the trolls just did not give up. He tried several times to lose them, but nothing he did was enough. When Magnus'' spell wore off, he nearly lost his head to a particularly large troll in the front. After that he focused on nothing but running. Eventually he lost track of exactly where he was, but he didn''t have the luxury of worrying about such minor concerns as being lost. On and on Hiro ran, until suddenly there were no more trees to weave around. He had somehow made his way back to the village. ¡°No¡­ oh no¡­¡± But it was too late; he was exhausted, and the only way he might survive was if he continued on, right through the village, with an army of trolls chasing him. Hiro silently begged the villagers to be inside hiding, but it was near midday already, and a frontier village could not rest inside all day. Screams rose up around him as normal, untrained people tried to run. They didn''t stand a chance. With Hiro proving to be difficult prey to catch, the trolls decided to settle for slower, softer targets. Hiro tucked his head down and cursed himself for a coward. All his talk of helping the villagers and killing the monsters, and now he was too terrified to fight. Hiro ran. He made it halfway across the village before running into familiar faces. Magnus and Jacob were running in the opposite direction, toward the fighting. Jacob called out to Hiro as they approached, ¡°Oi lad, what happened? What''s going on?¡± Hiro gasped, out of breath, but managed a few words. ¡°Trolls¡­ Theodore¡­ fighting the demon¡­ Trolls chased me¡­¡± Jacob spat in disgust, ¡°Dammit, what a damned fool!¡± Hiro almost broke down crying then, but Jacob continued. ¡°Good lad, we''ll handle the trolls; you go back out, find Theodore, and smack him in the head for me. He knows you are the one that is supposed to fight the demon.¡± Magnus cast the speed spell on Hiro again, and soon Hiro was off to chase after the demon and Theodore¡­ again¡­ He wanted to argue, to insist on joining the fight against the trolls, but he had found his own true measure. He was a coward; down in his core, he was a coward. So he did what cowards do; he ran from the fighting. Behind Hiro, magic explosions and shouts of effort pushed him forward. However, ahead was another fight. It wouldn''t be any large task to find Theodore and the demon. Their battle sent as many fiery explosions and tremors through the earth as Magnus'' magic and Jacob''s sword work did behind him. Fighting ahead and fighting behind. Hiro wanted to throw up. He had just wanted an adventure with Dianne; how had things spiraled so far out of control? Was there no way to take it back? To go back to being a farmer? Hiro slowly made his way back along the burnt-out path that Theodore had cut with his holy flames as he chased the demon. Far too soon for his liking, Hiro once again found the hill with a dungeon in its face. The place seemed eerily quiet now with all the trolls missing. But that wasn''t true. The trolls weren¡¯t ALL gone. Another group of about twenty trolls gathered at the front of the dungeon. Hiro quickly hid behind a tree and watched. It was too far to hear anything, and the troll language was just a series of grunts and yells, even if he could hear them. So he held far back to keep from being noticed. As he watch a fox walking on two legs exited the dungeon, and turned to say something to the small troll that Hiro recognized from before. In a matter of minutes the group of trolls were following the fox away from the dungeon, down a different route. ¡°Where do you think they''re going?¡± Hiro nearly jumped out of his skin. He was so startled that he didn''t think to draw his weapon, instead just flailing around as he tried to put some distance between himself and whoever had spoken. Dianne stood in front of him, hands behind her back and a ghost of the smirk that used to send Hiro''s heart pounding on her face. ¡°Dianne! What are you¡­ Wait, no, that¡¯s not¡­ How?¡± The smirk fell off her face, and she looked incredibly sad. ¡°Follow me; it''s dangerous here¡­ I¡¯ll tell you what I know¡­¡± Hiro followed. His only other option was to pick a fight with trolls, different trolls, or a demon. He wanted none of any of that. Dianne led him deeper into the trees, where she stopped and turned to him. She told a story to Hiro then. One that she claimed her mother told her the day before they left for the capital. Dianne''s father was apparently not who everyone thought it was. Her mother, Jasmine, had come from the southern kingdom where vampires ruled. She had been on the run trying to hide her pregnancy. A pregnancy that neither humans nor vampires would welcome. Dianne was half human, half vampire. The story took some time, and Hiro had many questions. Dianne either didn''t know or wouldn¡¯t tell Hiro many of the answers. Eventually, though, the story ended. ¡°So¡­¡± Dianne said, ¡°what do you plan on doing now? I won''t run if you want to kill me.¡± ¡°Kill you? No¡­ I¡­ I don''t want to fight¡­ This isn¡¯t for me. I¡¯m a coward; I could only run from the trolls before.¡± ¡°Run? There were more of them? I thought the group that we watched leave the dungeon was all of them.¡± ¡°No, there was another group before them; they chased me and attacked the village¡­.¡± Dianne looked confused for a moment before asking, ¡°So¡­ why don¡¯t we go destroy the dungeon now?¡± ¡°There''s too many of¡­ them¡­¡± But that wasn''t true. The group attacking the village and the group that left with the fox man. That should be all of them. There was no way there were many more inside. If Hiro could go in and defeat the dungeon, then the monsters might stop attacking. ¡°Let''s go!¡± Dianne didn''t get to answer as Hiro was already running back to the dungeon. If he could be a hero and save the people of the village AND avoid fighting, then he would. Maybe that would be enough to redeem himself after running away. When they reached the hill, though, there were monsters outside, four of them. A smaller bipedal fox with a nasty neck wound, two goblins, and that strange human-looking monster from the other dungeon. Hiro almost stormed out into the open, but Dianne held him back. ¡°Wait, see what they do first.¡± She said. Hiro did as she suggested. The human-looking monster was talking to the fox creature. The fox argued for a moment, looking petulant, but eventually took a knee and said something. The human monster nodded and answered. With that, the group made to leave, but the fox asked a question of the human monster. He looked down at a round object in his hands, shrugged, and tossed it into the trees. Then they all left together toward the other dungeon. ¡°Should we go after them?¡± Hiro asked. ¡°Wait, what did they throw away?¡± Dianne checked to make sure they weren''t coming back. When she was sure they were alone, she searched for the object. Hiro didn''t expect she would be able to find something so small in all the vegetation, but as soon as she got close, Dianne got a strange look in her eyes and jogged directly over to a bush. She bent down and quickly came back up with something shiny in her hands. Before Hiro could see what it was, she smiled widely and placed it on her head. Announcements Hello again readers!! Thank you for reading all the way through the first book of Master Dungeon This chapter is just to update you all on my plans for this series and other works. Chapter 30 concludes the first book. If you stuck with me all the way through I have nothing but gratitude to you. This was only my second true attempt at writing a book and, somehow, it got readers!! The knowledge that people actually were interested enough to read my work is humbling. The Master Dungeon project is planned to be a three book series. The first book is meant to be an introduction to the world and how dungeons work, a ¡®conflict against the setting¡¯ if you will. The second book is meant to be a bit grander in scope as Rob and friends are exposed to more of the world and its inhabitants, a ¡®conflict against humans.¡¯ The third book is planned to be a focus on how Rob challenges the status quo and survives the major players attentions, a ¡®conflict against dungeons.¡¯ I have and for all these and the feedback and response I have gotten during this book has been very positive. That is why it has been so difficult to make this decision. I intend to move from this project to another for a time. I DO have plans to return to Master Dungeon and finish the series, but, especially in the middle, I have felt that the quality of this work has declined a bit. Pressing on right now would be a disservice to the story, and you all as readers. I know that with a small break and some more practice as a writer I can make the second and third installments even better than the first.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. I may even revisit some of the issues I had in this first installment to improve the whole.To any of you who are dissapointed by this, I apologize. Please let me know what you think of this decision and the story as a whole. Nothing has been as strong a motivator as the feedback and comments i have recieved. For those of you who have read this rambling post until this point I have one more annoucement to make. Originally I planned to cap off this book with four side stories, all from before Rob was dropped into the world. The first was to be the story of how Lilith ended up in the clearing. The betrayal of Gib and his lackeys and the desperate escape. The second was to be Gale¡¯s birthday which juet so happened to be the same day the trolls invaded and slew her parents. The third was to be the birth of Hiro. That fateful delve into a dungeon by a very famous, very pregnant adventurer. And how it all went wrong. The fourth and last was to be Jasmine, Dianne¡¯s mother, falling in love with a vampire, concieving Dianne, and then fleeing the country to save her child. The plan was to write these and post two of then here and teo of them on Patreon to try and generate some followers there. I still intend to write these side stories, but not immediately as I don''t think it would be fair to pull people to patreon for this story and then move on to another. So for now I am going to be writing a different story, look forward to that being released in the next month or so. I will post a poll here for people to vote on if and when they would like to see these side stories. Again, thank you so much for reading, you all are now my best friends, whether you like it or not! Now then¡­ in the immortal words of Forest Gump, ¡°that¡¯s all I have to say about that¡±