《Crossliner's coup d'etat》


 01 - In the blink of an eye

    It was a soft breeze, the one that took me away. It was soft, like a hand brushing my cheek¡­ Almost comforting.


    That clear winter morning, as I stood in front of the convenience store, the wind carried runaway leaves around me. I was distracted with such triviality as the contents of my bag, and it happened in the blink of an eye. I can¡¯t really understand it, either.


    How gentle and silent could magic be, how small of a gathering, in a land nowhere to be found.


    I looked around, a forest. And before I could react, a stranger approached me, his blonde hair shining from the clear skies, the warm sunshine hitting my glasses as I looked up and noticed that winter was no more.


    - ¡°O, Grand Hero from another realm! Is such an honor to make your acquaintance!¡± - Is what he said that time, the blonde stranger. I couldn¡¯t understand, though, for he spoke in a language that was unknown to me.


    All I could manage to do was look around in confusion, holding the plastic bag I had in my hand when I left the store, feeling it was the only thing I could trust. My mind rationalized - did I get kidnapped? By weirdly dressed people?


    The blonde stranger kept talking and, by his movements, I could understand that he was presenting himself as Arsamira de Argatha. His shiny hair was decorated in a braid as a crown, and an elegant outfit with detailed embroidery made him look like some sort of prince. He wore a light blue scarf that looked rather simple, surely contrasting the formality and care of his looks. The other two persons there were just as young and eccentric as he was. They looked around my age, or probably younger. A white-haired girl with soft curls and clothes almost as white as her hair, diamonds decorating her robes. She looked like a winter fairy, gracefully carrying a staff decorated with crystals. The last one was an androgynous figure with a troubled posture. His (now I know) wine-colored hair covered most of his face, but left to show eye tattoos on his cheeks. His outfit was dull but still skillfully made, lots of buttons connected by elegant silver chains, though it was hard to tell how many under the hooded cape he was wearing. A point of interest was the open book in his left hand, one that I saw glowing as soon as I opened my eyes. Of course, I just shrugged that off as some prop for the act. I couldn¡¯t think of them as any more than cosplayers or role-players, with those looks.


    They didn¡¯t look dangerous nor aggressive, but I sat on my knees and raised my hands while they talked to each other, hoping this would let them understand I was defenseless and willing to cooperate. The one I understood was called Arsamira seemed worried and scolded the one who had the book, then walked towards me and got on his knees too. As he talked once again and I couldn¡¯t understand a thing, I tried answering in the most open language I knew, English, hoping one of them knew a bit.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I can¡¯t understand your language. Do you speak English?¡±


    To my surprise, the one with the book had quite the reaction; a mix between panic, confusion, relief, understanding, and, most of all, an expression of what I can only think of as dumbfounded.


    - ¡°¡­I do. A bit.¡± - He approached me, after apparently telling the blondie to move aside. - ¡°I am sorry for the confusion. Are you okay? Do you hurt?¡± - His English wasn¡¯t the best, surely, but it was more than enough to communicate. My relief must have been¡­ rather noticeable, since the blonde prince made a comment with a dumb smile on his face.


    - ¡°I¡¯m okay. But where am I? And who are you?¡± - I figured that since they didn¡¯t seem to have bad intentions, I could ask away. He was happy to comply.


    - ¡°This is the kingdom ofArgatha,we are inStepa Reion.¡± - That, I would later learn, just means Reion Forest. - ¡°Ah- ¡­We are in a world different than yours, if the witchcraft¡­Ayo, ayo,the spell! Worked correctly.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Yeah no I mean the truth.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, I know it¡¯s hard to believe-! Eh¡­How to say¡­Come with us. Carriage. I will explain on our way to the castle.¡± - I just assumed that if that was the truth, it must be a dream. The book guy, whom I forgot to ask the name of, called out for Arsamira and the diamond girl, and then led us onto an actual carriage.


    The dark blue coating clashed with the reflection of the clear sky, making it hard to look at. Despite the simple square shape and the underwhelmingly decorated horses, the delicate carvings of silver on the corners and the pristine, embroidered maroon curtains disregarded all attempts to mask its fanciness. It did its best trying to seem simple, but utterly failed once you paid attention to it. Just like the prince.


    The inside was cozy and the seats comfortable, the silky fabric and the fluffy cushions hugging me after all this nonsense. It wasn¡¯t normal to have dreams this vivid, I thought, but they were surely not impossible. I had been a victim of confusing dreams with reality more than once. Then, the servant in charge gave the call for the carriage to move, bringing me back to my senses.


    And the round of answers went on.


    - ¡°And so, you got summoned to help us during the war. For the time being, our enemy,Jesgavaula Zeliram¡­Wait that¡¯s¡­The Principality?OfZeliram,is retreating due to inter¡­inter¡­internal! Problems. They can afford that since we are weak and have no allies. All the neighbor countries are on their side, so we were desperate.¡±


    - ¡°Why do you have so many enemies though? That sounds fishy, if¡­If I can say.¡± - I reminded myself that despite their friendly attitude, I still was pretty much a hostage. - ¡°I mean¡­¡±


    - ¡°It is normal that you would think that, do not worry. So- ¡­Oh, we need to present ourselves.¡± - And the subject changed, just like that, when he turned to the blonde guy. He got closer from his spot on the carriage with an apparent excitement he couldn¡¯t manage to hide. He had clear blue eyes that shone with innocence, the sight of someone so bright hurting my eyes. - ¡°This is Your Majesty, the crown princeArsamira de Argatha,who personally took it upon himself to welcome you, hero.¡±This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    The aforementioned prince bowed in front of me with a grace that proved true his title. Even sitting in the carriage, he managed to keep an elegant posture that contrasted with his bubbly attitude. I felt embarrassed by my simple clothes and my messy hair and bowed to him, almost hiding myself and the plastic bag I had. I heard his soft laugh and a word escape his lips, but when I looked, he was back in his relaxed position, waiting for the next person to present themself.


    - ¡°I¡¯mMizuen Euphoramis,the Royal Sorcerer and Keeper of the Archives.¡± - The young male bowed to me too, his wine-colored hair not letting me see his expression. Now that the cloak was off, I could see how fragile and gentle his air and posture were, how caring he was with his movements, and how he had a tendency to play with a curl of his hair when he was thinking. His trembling voice was left behind, and now he was more confident in his spelling and understanding when we talked, so I finally got to see a faint smile coming from him. - ¡°I¡¯m the one who performed the summoning ritual. And this isDaien,my younger sister. She¡¯s the Third Court Mage! My pride and honor. I mean-Daien, oi-.¡± - Mizuen called out for her, and she looked at me and bowed, but remained silent. - ¡°I¡¯m sorry she¡¯s like that. I would like to say she usually isn¡¯t, but she is.¡± ¨C The librarian laughed a bit, smiling at his sister.


    Arsamira said something to him, and the three of them looked at me with a welcoming expression - or, at least, that¡¯s what I¡¯d like to think considering that a) Mizuen¡¯s eyes were hidden, and b) Daien¡¯s was pretty much emotionless the times I¡¯ve looked at her.


    - ¡°What is your name, hero from another world?¡± ¨C Asked the librarian, his hand on his chest with grace like a greeting, and a warm smile on his lips to calm my heart. But then, it hit me.


    Be it a dream or not, I felt an anxiety I only recalled from the past. I felt something overwhelming fly away, like my own self evaporated. I couldn¡¯t remember my own name, yet it didn¡¯t feel wrong. The anxiety eased down, my body warmed up again, and I finally reacted. It was no more than a second, but the incessant flow of emptiness that filled my mind, the sublimity of the


    lack of self, violent at first, that then held me and comforted me as I settled down ¡­ All of it felt eternal.


    I caught their stares of curiosity and worry, and I wonder what kind of expressions I made in the lapse of a breeze.


    - ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Silence.


    - ¡°I don¡¯t remember it.¡±


    - ¡°¡­You don¡¯t?¡± - And before I could answer, Mizuen went to check his book. ¨C ¡°I¡­Did I make a mistake somewhere?¡± ¨C He asked himself, looking back and forth between the spell book and me.


    I laughed a bit, I admit.


    - ¡°It¡¯s alright. It¡¯s just a name after all. It¡¯s not like I mind it. Assuming all of this is true, when I go back, I¡¯ll remember it.¡±


    And I ignored the awkward, uncomfortable expression Arsamira and Mizuen had.


    - ¡°I just hope that¡¯s all. Do you have mental mist¡­No- Brain fog? Hmm¡­ Are you sure you are okay? I will make sure you get a check-up once we arrive at the castle, if you allow us.¡± ¨C I just nodded, not really bothered. If anything, I just felt a strange relief; I knew I hadn¡¯t forgotten anything else.


    Time went by as I was looking through the window. The fresh air of spring and the open hills full of crops and farms, the clean sky and the relaxing landscape. The villagers greeting the prince¡¯s carriage, his kind eyes reassuring them that all was fine. I could get used to a dream like this. Two hours had passed by the time we reached the capital.


    - ¡°As you already noticed, we are a kingdom with access to magic. I do not know about your home world, but here is fairly rare. Our enemies wish to eradicate the use of magic, and that¡¯s why we cannot negotiate peace. Their beliefs are directly against us, is not something we can talk anymore. And because this is the only place mages can live in, because the outside don¡¯t understand how magic works and that is not of evil, we asked for help to protect our home.¡± ¨C Mizuen had a strong tone with a secure smile that looked almost rare on his fair build. He reassured me. ¨C ¡°This is the capital ofArgatha, Leva.¡±


    I looked outside as he pointed, and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the city unfolding before me. With the shape of a circular fortress and open arches for doors, the city grew in a spiral towards the sky, on top of which the royal castle was seated. I saw in the distance green gardens like waterfalls across the walls, filled with flowers of multiple shapes and colors that gave it harmony. Trees serving as parts of the buildings and houses, their roots as benches and their branches as stairs, all having a flow of living with nature and not above it. The clean white stone and the fountains across the street made the city gleam in the sunshine. It looked like a jewel in the fresh spring sky, reflecting the welcoming sun of a new life.


    I didn¡¯t believe this was a dream anymore.


    People approached the carriage to greet us, some with flowers on their hands, others with a worried look. No - it wasn¡¯t us, it was them. Mizuen put his cloak on me, muttering ¡°Don¡¯t let anyone see your hair.¡± I didn¡¯t think twice about it, remembering the reality of my situation. Meanwhile, Daien and the prince collected flowers from those who approached the carriage, the servant warning the people to stay at a safe distance. I curled up in my corner, a dark hooded figure. I knew I was avoiding thinking about the main ordeal here, so I kept looking at the city as the streets went by. The spiraling roads led us to what was apparently called the Levitan Castle, or the Feathered Castle, according to Mizuen¡¯s translation.


    Once I got off the carriage with the help of Daien, I was stopped. By Arsamira, actually, who smiled at me.


    - ¡°Is nice to meet you.¡± ¨C His pronunciation was rough, so I figured he asked Mizuen to teach him that just now to greet me personally.


    - ¡°Is¡­Nice to meet you too.¡± ¨C Not being able to smile back at him, I wondered in silence, tense that now things were actually moving forward, and I was being carried like an actual hostage. I hugged the plastic bag under the cloak; the crinkly sound and the weight of its contents bringing me back to reality. Yes, reality. This wasn¡¯t a dream, nor a joke. It wasn¡¯t just a silly prank. I was so far away from home, alone, taken away by strangers with powers. Completely defenseless, and with only one person able to understand me.


    Daien noticed I started to shake next to her as we approached one of the castle¡¯s doors. She put her hand on my shoulder and nodded for reassurance, then pulled the hood down, as if to cover my face even more. While I couldn¡¯t stop being nervous, I made my steps as steady and confident as I could. This wasn¡¯t a normal situation, but at least I could remind them that I was not an enemy they needed to subdue, but someone they could rationally talk to without using force. The other two joined my side, sheltering me from the guards protecting the doors and the halls as we entered the castle. The absolute sound of the entrance closing behind us reminded me that I was trapped, its lightning striking faster than I could regret it. I gulped down the fear of what¡¯s to come and kept walking.

 02 - And so, night brings day.

    The throne room was mesmerizing. The light that shone through the windows on the ceiling gave life to the garden that laid across the columns, vines and bindweeds reaching the top of the pillars. White stone colored by the stained-glass window behind the throne, the arches giving it a grandeur feeling. It was hard to look anywhere other than towards the figure placed in the rainbow shadows. There she laid with impeccable posture, the Queen of Argatha.


    Soft ringlets of rose-colored hair fell on top of a white dress, giving her the welcoming air of a blossomed flower. The stained-glass windows left prints all over her skirt to dance around like sunshine. I was hypnotized by the grace and beauty of the scene as the warmth of the sky washed over me. As I finally came back to my senses, Mizuen reminded me to bow down, taking away the cloak in the process.


    There I was, in the middle of the garden, uncovered for the lilies to judge. Arsamira stood in front of me, his tone sounding like a plea. And, while I couldn¡¯t understand their words, the strict tone of the queen made me understand I was not welcomed there.


    - ¡°I have to confess; we did commit a crime.¡± - Muttered Mizuen to me, as silently as he could. ¨C ¡°It is forbidden to call upon other worlds. Even if it is known that it can be done, it¡¯s a capital offense. So if the audience goes badly, we might get exiled, or even killed. That¡¯s how desperate we were.¡±


    I, of course, felt trapped. They waited until I was under the pressure of the queen herself to tell me? I could hear the prince¡¯s trembling voice as he looked at us, Your Majesty staring from her throne. At me, I noticed. She gracefully pointed at Mizuen to leave my side.


    The lady walked towards me, each footstep echoing across the hall. But as she stood above me, I didn¡¯t feel threatened. She got on her knees - to my level - with a gentle smile, and spoke softly, taking her time to breathe every word. Comforting, calm, motherly. That¡¯s how her voice sounded.


    Mizuen came to my aid, translating her words from the side.


    - ¡°The Queen asks if you would accept the request and help us protect our people from the war. She says there is no obligation on you, and it being such a heavy weight¡­No, burden, you are free to deny, and there will be no repercussions either.¡± ¨C He struggled to capture the queen¡¯s dignified words, mostly out of anxiety. I could see his lip shaking, Daien¡¯s slightly furrowed eyebrows, and Arsamira¡¯s pleading eyes as he looked at us from the throne¡¯s side. I knew I was falling into it; I knew it was specifically planned to leave me little choice but to accept, or feel bad because I caused these people to get killed.


    But a war?


    I nodded.


    - ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡±


    And the Queen smiled at me again. She took a second to hold a strand of my hair. Her melancholic expression reminded me of my own mother. I felt my heart heavy at her sight, my eyes closing by instinct.


    Breaking the spell, Mizuen touched my shoulder. The queen had commanded that I be given a room, and that an audience was to concur in two days¡¯ time to discuss my presence. Hence, I would be presented in front of the royal court.


    Heaven knows I wasn''t ready.


    As we passed the halls of the palace, still holding onto my plastic bag, only the footsteps of the servants broke the absolute silence of the calm evening. The warm light that crossed the windows colored Daien''s snowy palette of a soft, honey-colored gleam, yet I couldn¡¯t admire the fantasy beauty of these unnatural tones while feeling the prying eyes of the guards, butlers, and maids stabbing my back.


    The crown prince left our side at the throne room, but according to Mizuen, he promised he would visit my room once he was free. I dreaded the idea, but had no choice on it.


    While he played with his messy purple streaks, the librarian proposed for us to study together. It would be good to learn the language, and he wished to improve his pronunciation too. His soft voice and clear excitement calmed me down. It felt like a relaxing chat with a friend, comforting enough to forget the chaos unfolding around me, as he tried to tell me where the library was and that I was welcome to visit anytime, even late at night. Then, a door.


    Left alone with the basic knowledge of how to ask the servants for help, the first thing I did was sit on the bed. It was a big, occidental-styled bed with a soft mattress and soft, silky bed sheets and wool blankets. I laid there and closed my eyes, not really wanting to check the rest of the room. Not really wanting to get familiar with it. The whole place was so elegant, so bright, so uncomfortable¡­ I hoped that once I fell asleep, I would be back in my room, with my messy bed, my cat over me, and a message from one of my friends'' daily gacha pulls on my phone. The unknown smells, the unimaginable textures, the otherworldly details, all of it felt so wrong. I felt my body tensing up against the pillows, the light from the window flying directly onto my glasses.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    With that ray of light, a lightbulb turned on. I got my wallet; some change, a bus pass, a sticker and my ID. I''ve kept that sticker for good luck, it''s a cat mascot from a game I used to play. But that wasn''t the important thing.


    I checked my ID hoping to be able to read my name, but all I saw were some kind of foreign symbols. Everything else was completely readable, city, sex, birth date-


    ¡ª "So that''s when my birthday was, huh."


    I laid down for a while before the void caught up to me.


    The rest of my stuff was in the plastic bag; I had a few eggs, a milk carton and a few snacks. As the sunset fell on the city, coloring it of blue shadows, I opened a bag of chips and chugged on the milk directly from the box.


    Be it that I was alone, in a strange world, the least I could do was celebrate my mother¡¯s birthday anyways. Be it a dream or not. I just hoped that if there was truth in all of this, she didn¡¯t miss me too much; her, my sister, my nephew, my friends, my cat. I hoped as I drank the milk non-stop, not really caring how vicious I looked, or how the milk and my tears got tangled down my throat, or that the muffled cries could be heard by the servants.


    For I was only human, what else could I do but hurt?


    It took me until the night to realize what I was truly missing; it took me until the end of the day to realize what I¡¯d done. I had never wished, so badly, for a daydream to be just a daydream.


    Gods and goddesses, they know how unfair fantasy can be. For it¡¯s wished upon the change of a lifetime, but we are sensible beings before all of it.


    No one came to visit, not eve nor night. Just a soft breeze from the open window as the fresh air of a spring night cleared my mind, thoughts plagued by the lingering feel of emptiness, the trembling of not having anything to hold on to as the current takes you away. Time passed slowly, too slowly, painfully slowly.


    Morning came, the sun punching me in the face as I looked for my glasses. At this point I was dehydrated, hungry, and looked like I wanted to murder someone; it wasn¡¯t a surprise that Mizuen almost screamed a bit as he saw me, sticky from the milk and the tears, eyes puffy and red, clearly missing a few hours of sleep, and not being able to see anything from the headache. Before I could even say hi, servants were all over me. Was this the life of the wealthy? I¡¯ve read enough novels, enough manga, so and so, so I should have known what I was gonna have to get used to. Everything is harder in real life, I guess.


    A nice cup of tea, a few glasses of water, and a flowery bath later, I felt recomposed and even fancy myself. I almost, almost managed to blend in by borrowing some frilly clothes, mine not only sticky, but also made of a weird fabric that might confuse people.


    I headed to the dining hall with Mizuen and a maid who was apparently a friend of his. She seemed to whisper a lot, so I was getting a bit self-conscious at this point. One thing was to be told I was in another world, another was to feel a stranger in another world. I wasn¡¯t really used to being fresh news on the mouth of others. I fixed my clothes and my hair a little more, feeling ragged and stupid.


    The wide dining hall, its tables separated into rows- (It was surprising to think both servants and masters ate in the same room.) Chandeliers and plants decorated the wide ceiling, the corners of each side looking like miniature gardens of dark colored leaves. I swear every room in this castle is just a greenhouse.


    Sitting at the head of the furthest table were the queen, the prince and the, now I know, second princess. Oh, and Daien too. Arsamira called us with a sign to sit with them, the attention of many of the servants now redirected to us; I instinctively held Mizuen¡¯s sleeve as we walked towards them. But forget all that, for the table was filled with a delicious breakfast- Of plants that didn¡¯t look familiar enough to recognize them, but didn¡¯t also look like anything otherworldly- Of meats that looked trivial, yet with flavors that weren¡¯t common to me. I was expecting either crazy colorful fantasy food or the same as home; but it¡¯s different enough to not know it and close enough to not be afraid. The smell captured me once I was already at the table, specifically eyeing what looked like some tender asparagus sprinkled with sauce. As I was distracted with the meals, a tug on my shirt made me jump a bit.


    - ¡°Hello.¡± ¨C Said Daien, with her unemotional tone. Hearing her try to talk in English made me smile, so I returned the greeting just before the ambience changed.


    The Queen of Argatha stood up and looked at her servants with a tender smile as she began speaking. Morning greetings to her people and the legends from above. They closed their eyes in a respectful hum; I looked down and stayed silent.Their traditions were nothing I wouldn¡¯t expect, but I was still curious about them. The people raised their voices in a little chant before waiting for the queen to sit down. Now everyone was allowed to eat.


    Her calm voice tickled my ears as she pointed at my plate; I could start too if I wanted. I did as my own tradition and then collected what seemed the closest to a breakfast, Mizuen telling me what each thing was made of. As the meal went on, the princess and the queen formally introduced themselves; it was said they thought a more casual approach might make it easier for me to interact. I wish I¡¯d known that back then, to thank them properly.


    ¨C ¡°I am grateful for your welcoming.¡± ¨C Would be a rough translation, since it wasn¡¯t entirely right. But we managed to communicate despite the differences, and I felt glad of the extent of human empathy.


    ¨C ¡°The Queen asks for your name. She knows of your trouble remembering it, so do not worry.¡±¨C Mizuen reassured me, but I had thought of this earlier. Always one step ahead- At least when I can be.


    ¨C ¡°¡­Gimme a sec.¡±


    ¨C ¡°¡­What?¡±


    ¨C ¡°Ah. Give me a moment.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t trying to remember anything; I was thinking that, if this became my name, would I cringe at myself at night for every time I heard it? My pen name, I meant. I decided to stick with it, I had already thought about it the previous night. It was good enough, yeah.


    I asked Mizuen for a bit of help in a whisper and then went on in their language, hoping I wasn¡¯t butchering the words too much.


    - ¡°It¡¯s not my real name, but you can call me Von.¡± ¨C I tried to smile at the rest of the table, lowering my head in a bow. ¨C ¡°Nice to meet you.¡±

 03 - Below them

    It didn¡¯t take long for me to be dragged around as the novelty I was. During the evening, walking around the palace with the company of the three oddballs - that is, of course, Arsamira and co. - we landed upon the library, that, as any proper nerd, I was rather excited to see. Beautifully carved doors that were opened with an equally gorgeous key, the smell of paper, wood, and ink. I had never been in a dreamy library like the ones in movies and series, with ancient books holding secrets worth unraveling. It was enough to shake my heart, for as reality hit, so did the fantasy.


    Mizuen took the first step in, and we all followed behind. I didn¡¯t notice back then, but now I know they were looking at me; I was too busy being fascinated by the silky-looking chairs and the mythical ambience, by the high ceilings covered in potted plants and the strangely closed bookshelves covered in various runes. Moved around by Daien¡¯s hand, we sat down in front of a window. They dropped some notebooks on the table, Arsamira still directing his curious smile at me. It felt like getting ready for an interrogation, now that I think about it.


    - ¡°Well, you see¡­The prince wanted to talk to you¡­.¡± ¨C Mizuen looked apologetic as he opened his notebook.


    Arsamira checked his own - apparently, they had a small meeting yesterday to prepare for this, or so it seemed by the notes scattered around the pages. The prince read out loud.


    - ¡°I am sorry. For not visiting. Yesterday.¡± ¨C Stiff, almost awkward. Yet, he managed to talk with a smile. ¨C ¡°I got scolded. So I could not go.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- It¡¯s fine. I¡¯m sorry I caused you so much trouble.¡± ¨C What was I apologizing for, though!? I¡¯m the one who got dragged into this!


    Once the trivialities were settled in - and we got the snacks out - their curiosity decided to join the meeting, too. I guess it was natural to want to know about my world. But I wasn¡¯t expecting-


    - ¡°¡­Can I touch your hair?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Excuse me?¡±


    - ¡°Ah. The prince asked since¡­Black hair is an unknown sight. People from our lands don¡¯t have black hair.¡±


    So that was why the Queen held it, I understood.


    I took one of my long strands and nodded; suddenly, all three of them were over me brushing it. It felt soft¡­ Soft and comforting, how careful they were. Like a soft massage that I couldn¡¯t run away from, in the tranquil ambience of a spring noon, sunshine and fresh air surrounding us. The inevitably comfy. Sooner than later I felt too relaxed¡­ and started to drift asleep. I didn¡¯t get a good rest the previous night, so it wasn¡¯t surprising. But what was actually surprising was that they just let me sleep there, dreaming of the comments they made when I was off.


    ¡°It reminds me of Master,¡± or, ¡°it¡¯s softer than it looked.¡± Things I vaguely remember now, but it seemed like they had fun.


    I woke up as the sun was starting to set. Mizuen, by my side, was reading a book with a soft smile on him. He didn¡¯t notice I was awake at first, so he jumped when he felt me reading over his shoulder. I had noticed it was in English - which was, well, kind of shocking. Being in another world and all.


    - ¡°Ah-! M-Mister¡­Von¡­You are awake-¡±


    - ¡°Good¡­evening, is it? Sorry for startling you - you were so focused, I didn¡¯t want to bother.¡±


    - ¡°Is no problem! I was waiting for you to wake up anyways! Huh¡­ Ehm¡­¡± ¨C With that doubt in his tone, I remembered what I was taken there for. Holding my arm, looking away, apologetic, I didn¡¯t know if I should have laughed it out or felt guilty. I really fell asleep back then huh... That was embarrassing for an adult.


    - ¡°Oh right. Sorry- uhh... Sorry for earlier. You can ask now if you want.¡±


    - ¡°Hm?¡±


    - ¡°Ah- I fell asleep while you all wanted to ask stuff, so I guess you have some things you are still curious about?¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s¡­that¡¯s alright- It¡¯s no problem, do not worry-¡±


    - ¡°I already said it was okay. It¡¯s no trouble. I might be here for a while, talking about my world helps with the anxiety.¡± ¨C I laughed internally.


    - ¡°Then¡­ Huh¡­ About this book. It¡¯s a book my master left for me. He said originally in your world this was considered fantasy, but that later on it became scien- scies- science fiction. That the things became possible.¡±


    - ¡°Oh- That¡¯s Around the World in Eighty Days. A Jules Verne book. I loved those when I was a kid-!¡± ¨C It was a surprise to find such a book in another world, I got overexcited, aight! So much so that it was a few seconds til¡¯ it hit me. ¨C ¡°¡­Your master had this book?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, he also came from another world. But- But he came here himself. He is the one who teach¡­teached¡­taught- me the spell we used to bring you, actually. My master¡­ he was a really powerful mage, the reason we were able to keep our peace for long was his presence. He bought¡­No, no- brought- brought? strange magic and sorcery, unknown knowledge and traditions¡­ And he taught me his language so I could read of them.¡± ¨C He spoke so fondly of this master of his, going on and on about the impact he made. It seemed that more than wanting to ask something, he just wanted to tell me about him. Probably because - ¡°¡­you remind me of him.¡±


    - ¡°O¡­Oh.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- I mean¡­ It¡¯s probably just that you both come from another world and have black hair. Is it a common thing outside here?¡±


    - ¡°Pretty common, probably.¡±


    At that moment, I began to feel the eyes of the servants twice as much in my memories. Suddenly I was competing. Competing against their expectation, against their assumptions that I was, also, a game changer. I laughed before speaking again.


    - ¡°I¡¯m a useless drop-out with no ambition. Please don¡¯t think highly of me.¡±


    His dumbfounded face was incredibly satisfying, so I kept laughing for a bit. It was nice to be able to talk to someone like this.


    The day went on as expected. We had to get a meal directly from the kitchen after missing lunch, which, of course, led to a quick meeting with the chef. Thank the gods Mizuen seems to get along with all the servants. We went back to the library, where I told him about the places in Verne¡¯s book and, also, the vague knowledge I had of how the things it proposed became possible. Good thing about being a writer, even as a hobby - you learn a lot of really specific trivia. Like, that mountain goats are not goats, but still of the caprinae. ¨C Oh, and, he also taught me more about their world.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    Even if I still couldn¡¯t get a hold of reality, I still had fun. We had a dumb little chat about how certain accents sound a bit silly, and that apparently a region in this world also has a silly accent. To know that this world was as complete as mine¡­ It was truly real, wasn¡¯t it¡­?


    It is.


    Night was something else. I still couldn¡¯t sleep properly, so I found myself staring at the sky to try and find peace. The ordeal had settled down, so I was left wondering¡­ If I was missed as much as I missed those I loved. I wondered if my cat missed the daily raw shrimp, or if my friends noticed I hadn¡¯t answered their messages. I wondered¡­ I wonder. I still wonder if my mom was lonely that day. If she¡¯s lonely now. I wonder if they are looking for me, or if they moved on. I don¡¯t know which would let my heart settle better¡­ The hope of returning is fading away.


    I started thinking about my life, that night. About my childhood friend, Callie. About my sis. About my mom and my grandma. About my ex, even. Maybe I was looking for a guide¡­For a quote¡­For anything that could tell me ¡°this is your destiny.¡± I relived memories of their words and actions in my head over and over again, wondering what was I doing, why I was there. But there was nothing. I had never been someone special, and the light of innocence faded long ago. I had no foretold quest, no clues, no lantern to guide my path.


    I had nothing to prepare me for this.


    Once again, I was lost in life. That calmed me down, in a way.


    It was not the first time I was lost, and it wasn¡¯t going to be the last, either. But I survived this far, so all was going to be fine.


    I went to sleep with that hope as a lullaby.


    I woke up to a curious maid¡¯s eyes as she was serving a glass of water.


    - ¡°Mister¡­Von? ...Morning audience¡­Ready.¡± - Is as much as I managed to understand. She did say more, of course, but I was just beginning to learn. Even if it¡¯s easier when you are fully immersed, there are words I always seem to forget - even from English. Haha. Byelingual.


    Like the previous day, Mizuen came to my aid. I needed to be dressed extra formal that day, you see; I was to be presented to the court at noon.


    I didn¡¯t even feel like I was actually there yet, not quite. But remember. Just a deep breath. Take it easy.


    I decided to skip breakfast, both because of the nerves and to avoid getting these fancy clothes dirty. I sat in the bed moving my legs and playing with the bed sheets a bit, my only company being the maid who woke me up, as she had to clean the room. I got up to help, but she saw how restless I was, so she just patted my head and smiled. Back to bed, I guess.


    A knock woke me up from the eternal slumber of nervous sitting.


    - ¡°It¡¯s almost time, so please follow me.¡±


    Mizuen was, to say, well dressed. But that wasn¡¯t the important part, I tell you. The thing that shook me was that he had pulled his hair back from his face. A clean ponytail. I could finally see his eyes-


    - ¡°¡­Do I look weird?¡± ¨C He asked, already lifting his arms, as if to try to untie his hair.


    Not at all! I stopped his arm, before saying anything, and fixed his bowtie.


    - ¡°Not at all. I was just surprised; it''s the first time I see your eyes.¡± ¨C He smiled a little bit after clearing his throat. To see him nervous too calmed me down.


    - ¡°I¡¯m glad they found a good outfit for you. You are so thin and small that it was a bit hard to tailor something fancier than yesterday¡¯s change this quickly.¡±


    Was I? I¡¯ll admit I¡¯m a bit underweight, but still. Tho I did find they could only give me a camisole for pajamas, so. I ignored the change of topic and fixed my hair a bit. That done, we headed towards the throne room.


    Sun high in the sky, the ceilings illuminating the corners of the room, rays of light reflecting over the court members. Proud silhouettes of nobles and academics, in two formal rows across the hall. Standing in their shadow, I felt their sight of clear solemnity directed at me. I swallowed my nerves under their judgement.


    Arsamira and Daien were already in front of the throne, waiting for me. Forced to wait there to show their crimes, I thought to myself, like puppies who were caught making a mess. Now together, we waited for the queen.


    Her Majesty arrived.


    Graceful and determined, each step full of dignity. Mighty, unreachable, a vision of an otherworldly beauty. The petals of her white dress painted, once again, by the rainbows of the stained glass above her throne. There, she sat in front of us, the fairest of the lilies.


    - ¡°Good morning, dignified members of the court.¡± ¨C We bowed to her, Mizuen whispering to translate her words. He struggled, but I managed to get a grasp of her regality; I shall write her prose as he intended to do. ¨C ¡°I¡¯m glad to see everyone was able to make it in time. Without further ado, let us start.¡±


    We had to stay bowing while the court stood up, the queen explaining what had happened, how I got here, and what they had decided. Their eyes turned to me again, some curious, some, kind of annoyed, and some actually seemed happy. Unexpected to me, with a gesture from the queen, they approached us.


    - ¡°This is Duke Meilar, who reigns over the territory of Miler, in the west. And this is Treasurer Sheqipi, they take care of finances. This is-¡± - And so it went on and on, until I was introduced to everyone. Handshakes, cold smiles, someone touching my hair. Judgmental eyes. I didn¡¯t keep tab of everyone, just holding on to Mizuen as I zoned out of reality. Before I got back to my senses, the queen apparently called upon them to settle down. I felt Daien¡¯s hand on my shoulder, securing me. Did I look sick? They seemed concerned¡­ But I felt like I kept myself together pretty well.


    - ¡°I¡¯ll keep this short. Mister Von has acceded to aid us in the war, yet we haven¡¯t asked for details regarding how, as he just arrived in our world, and we didn¡¯t want to overwhelm him with requests after he was so kind to agree. If you have any questions, lay them now. I hope you understand that I won¡¯t accept any defiance regarding my choice to trust him, nor address the topic of my son¡¯s irresponsibility, as that has already been settled. Yes?¡±


    Murmur and silence. The court members looked at each other like questioning their own ideas. But one took a step forward.


    - ¡°If you allow me, Your Majesty.¡± ¨C He was a tall, well-built man with long hair of a rose gold gleam. I think he was presented to me as Count Latrei, who was currently the second Court Mage. The queen nodded. ¨C ¡°I can¡¯t help but disagree, even if you tell me not to bother. I understand our fondness of Mister Io, but we can¡¯t put all our hopes in a¡­¡± ¨C a hesitation; Mizuen took a few seconds ¨C ¡°¡­look alike.¡±


    - ¡°You misunderstand, Count. We are not placing all our hope in mister Von. He¡¯s aiding us despite being kidnapped from his home; I do not wish to make his stay more difficult. Do not think of him as a hero, nor a replacement of Mister Io. So do not refer to him as such. Have I made myself clear?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, Your Majesty. I apologize for my rudeness.¡±


    - ¡°If there aren¡¯t any more questions, I will call this meeting off. I don¡¯t wish to keep taking from your time unnecessarily. We will reconvene after lunch to appraise the damages of the war. In addition, I¡¯ll call for another meeting in 5 days¡¯ time, for by that time the informants from Zeliram will have already arrived. As always, if there is anything you need during your stay...¡± - she took a pause to look at me - ¡°...feel free to talk to my advisor.¡±


    After she left the room, the court following her, Arsamira was the first to call my name. He approached, but the events went a bit too fast for me, so I was still¡­ spacing out. He pinched my cheek, trying to wake me up. By the time I felt pain, we were already moving.


    Though gone, the court had left their sights on me. I could feel their expectations. I felt heavy. It was a fear I hadn¡¯t felt in a while. The fear of having to decide, the fear of confrontation and moving forward. I felt glad I skipped breakfast. I held myself in a hug, while Daien¡¯s blurry, white silhouette guided me outside the throne room and helped me sit down in a corner.


    It was alright, I said to myself. It was all okay. A glass of water later, I finally could talk.


    - ¡°¡­Sorry. I don¡¯t do well with important people.¡±


    - ¡°Is alright, can you stand? I was worried it was because you did not had breakfast¡­¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. I don¡¯t think I can eat yet but¡­I¡¯d like some fresh air.¡±


    Daien didn¡¯t let go of me as we headed to the gardens, guiding me through each step. Even when I was clearly better. It was a bit embarrassing, but I thanked her wholeheartedly.


    As you would expect from the gardens of such a castle, there was a maze of flowers and bushes, lush and bright; shadows cast from plants tied together in arches of blossoming buds; a fountain reflecting the sun¡¯s rays, rainbows forming under its flow. A beautiful sight altogether, we rested next to its core, watching the butterflies and bees flutter around. I played with the water in the fountain¡¯s basin, fiddling with the ripples of the fallen drops.


    As if fearing I would disappear, Arsamira held my arm. His furrowed eyebrows contrasted with his soft smile.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry for causing a ruckus. I didn¡¯t mean to scare you.¡± ¨C I said, looking down. Mizuen was glad to translate, his gentle tone reassuring them. All I got in return was more petting and some candy from Daien.


    I thanked them silently for not questioning my weakness, but I understood too. It would be too much for their guilt to also blame me for the weight they put on my shoulders.


    I let the breeze blow time away.

 04 - The cold warmth

    Sun in the sky, this was, finally, a good morning.


    I had gotten tired of just being there, existing, being carried around.


    Considering yesterday¡¯s words, the audience, the Court¡­ The first thing I did was look for Mizuen. I should have just waited for him to come, but I thought it was more proper this way. My quest didn¡¯t last long, though. I found him in the hallway as soon as I left the room.


    - ¡±Ah! Mizuen, here you are.¡±


    - ¡°Mister-¡±


    - ¡°Just Von is fine.¡±


    - ¡°Yes¡­Von. What is it? It¡­ It is a new thing, for you to look for me¡­¡±


    - ¡°W-Well¡­ I was thinking! That I still don¡¯t know what to do to help... And I don¡¯t want to stay sulking another day-. So¡­ I got curious. Uh... People here can do magic, right?¡± ¨C I started fiddling around with my fingers, trying not to smile.


    - ¡°Yes¡­ We can do magic, pretty much all creatures can¡­ Huh¡­ So you want to see some mage training?¡±


    - ¡°I want to. I can¡¯t lift a sword to save my life but¡­ Maybe I could give that a try instead? I would like to watch, at least.¡±


    - ¡°I know I told you about Master Io but¡­ Von, magic is not like you think it is- It takes years of training. We can go and see, but do not¡­ Get your expect¡­ Expectancy? Expectations up.¡± ¨C There was a high note that bothered me. Something about his voice that wasn¡¯t quite right.


    - ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I¡¯m also useless at that, don¡¯t worry. But it would be a waste to come to a new world and not try what it has to offer-!¡±


    - ¡°¡­You are pretty eager when you come out of your shell.¡±


    Did I blush? Did I? I probably did, since Mizuen just¡­ Giggled in that soft, comforting tone of his. I couldn¡¯t get mad at that.


    - ¡°Maybe¡­ Maybe I am! Just like you, talking about your master- You went on for hours and hours, and didn¡¯t even notice.¡±


    - ¡°Well I- I¡­ Uh¡­ Let¡¯s¡­ Go for breakfast.¡±


    On he went, changing the topic again. Not that I minded.


    Daien joined us for breakfast, both the queen and the second princess absent. And Arsamira? He got there late; his shining posture maintained despite how it clearly looked like he needed a nap.


    - ¡°Hello.¡± ¨C Daien greeted me in English, offering me some boiled eggs. That was all she said, but at this point I was just¡­happy, that she had talked to me.


    - ¡°Good morning. How are you?¡± - I was trying my best to follow through and speak Ilarin. Even though Mizuen and I would keep chatting in English for the fun - and helpfulness - of it, I didn¡¯t want Arsamira, who clearly wanted to join in, to feel left out.


    - ¡°I see you are getting better at talking!¡± - So said Arsamira. ¨C ¡°I mean- Our language¡­ Uh¡­ Good morning.¡±


    - ¡°Good morning, Prince.¡± ¨C I bowed a little bit; I¡¯m sure he laughed. But it was true - with hard study, immersion, and Mizuen¡¯s help, I was doing really good already. Ilarin was¡­strangely close to Spanish, so it was easier to learn than I expected; it wasn¡¯t the first time I learned a new language either, so that¡¯s a plus.


    A nice chat, prayers done, food served; like that, the morning went away in the routine. I could get used to this¡­ I thought.


    - ¡°No, no¡­ I need to go back home¡­¡±


    The careless sentence earned me a painful look from Mizuen as we were leaving the castle. Daien didn¡¯t let go of my sleeve the whole trip, either. I guess she noticed my tone. I¡¯m not surprised, I don¡¯t hide my gloominess well.


    This time, since we were heading to the barracks, I got to see more of the city. Morning¡¯s light entering the open stores, the bakeries, the market¡¯s tents, the central plaza buzzing with energy. The carriage wasn¡¯t as flashy as the previous one I had been in, so as we traversed the streets, I was finally able to look out of the window. With the hooded cloak on, of course.


    My attention was grabbed by the various fruits and decorations; people carrying bags of what looked like fresh seaweed and transparent, chewy pearls; children stealing sweets made of hojaldre. There were apples that looked like closed flowers - kinda similar to artichokes - or lucumas with interiors that seemed to be made of tofu. All sorts of fruits and vegetables that were strange, but not too strange to be beyond reality. It was a fun time. Daien told me the names of the stores as we passed by. Her voice was as refreshing as the morning to me.


    I got caught up in the colors of the tents; the architecture of the houses, some of which were merged with the nearby trees; paths of flowers guiding the road¡­ The clear fountains, the smell of grass, the wind of the valley, and the sound of the city. I was starting to appreciate the liveliness of a simpler world.


    Outside the walls that circled the city, I spotted the barracks. Clear past the waterfall of gardens, the training grounds for mages and soldiers alike were grand enough, like a villa. Alongside it was the academy, sitting high and mighty with a dedicated glare of serenity, contrasting with the audible commands heard from the barracks as one approached. Students and soldiers alike stopped in their tracks once the carriage arrived at the back entrance, all of them rushing to stand in rows as the coachman came to open the doors.


    The coachman this time¡­ was a tall, hairy animal-person. I hadn¡¯t noticed when we first got in, but now it was hard to miss. He had paws, animal ears, a tail, and fur all over his body - especially his chest. He must have noticed my shocked face when I held his paw to get off the carriage; I couldn¡¯t, actually, stop looking at him.


    - ¡°Does my presence bother sir Von?¡± ¨C Or well, something along those lines was said. I shook my head, finally letting go of his hand¡­paw.


    - ¡°Ah, this is Kiochery.¡± ¨C Mizuen introduced us formally, even if the fluffy guy already knew who I was. ¨C ¡°He was Arsamira¡¯s contain-¡­retainer, but¡­he is on stand-by now.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s not really the thing that I¡¯m-¡­ He¡¯s a fu- I mean¡­ an animal person?¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Oh! You have never meet someone of the Niwe-kin before, is it? ¡­I mean, Treasurer Sheqipi is also of the Niwe¡­ But you were not really paying attention there, so¡­ I remember Master Io told me they were not a common thing in other worlds, is it the same for yours?¡±


    - ¡°Niwe-kin¡­ Huh¡­ Nice to meet you.¡± ¨C I bowed to Kiochery, still amazed. But while all that took place, the trainees were still in line waiting for the prince¡¯s greeting, so we moved along quickly.


    Arsamira talked with a solemn dignity, the soldiers fired up with his- no, our presence. Some rushed to talk to Kiochery and Daien after the dismissal, while Mizuen stayed right next to his sister, protective as ever. We three weren¡¯t good with crowds, apparently.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Before I noticed, all I was doing was¡­ just following Arsamira around, fingers fiddling under the cloak I was given when we departed from the castle.


    - ¡°I¡¯m looking for the Captain.¡± ¨C That¡¯s as much as I was able to understand.


    Called in by a soldier, the Captain didn¡¯t take long to arrive, greeting the prince by ruffling his hair. A short-haired, scrubby-looking man, who seemed to be around 35 or 40 years old. At least he had brown hair - the familiarity in his looks was strangely comforting. Arsamira introduced us, something along the lines of ¡°this is Captain Eizan Hae,¡± and how he was in charge of the soldiers. I shook his hand when offered, strangely calm. There was something in his confident smile and laid-back vibe that was relaxing and home-like, despite his trained body making it noticeable how, if desired, he could drop-kick me straight to hell. I shrugged while he pulled me in for a hug, laughing. Those heavy pats on the back shook me enough to see stars.


    I listened to Arsamira speak on and on for a while. He was a chatterbox, a bit too expressive, a bit too extroverted. Too shiny. I could get a hold of how he was talking about me and how I wanted to try magic. I got pointed at, maybe laughed at too, I don¡¯t really know¡­ Luckily Mizuen soon came, as always, to my side, Daien and Kiochery with him. My relief must have been noticeable.


    - ¡°Then, we will head to an empty place. To do not disturb the students.¡± ¨C He whispered to me, smiling.


    Said barracks were pretty much as one would expect from such a country, lined with gardens, eternal halls, an amusing number of doors; the dormant picture of communal liveliness. At the center of the internal patio was the main building - the heart of the villa, a sort of antique dorm with a clock tower, imposing its time over us. There was a high, open corridor crossing the gardens that connected with the academy. Flowers and ivies climbed the pillars, and a giant tree covered the entrance of the neighboring building. Its yellow leaves reminded me of a gingko; but, there was a... strange feeling about it. The land around it was bare, and no one approached its shadow.


    We eventually got to the back lots of the barracks, pretty empty and far from the noise. A few mages were sparring, yet seemingly not casting any spells. They seemed around my age, but¡­ the difference was striking. Muscular bodies, stoic expressions, heavily trained and precise movements. I finally understood what mages of this world were, and why the captain laughed at me.


    - ¡°What is it, Von? You look¡­Perplex¡­Conflicted?¡±


    - ¡°These are martial artists, Mizuen. I¡­ I don¡¯t think I can try magic like that.¡±


    - ¡°Is okay, is okay. Magic is not what you think. It is a natural mov¡­Flow of energy in us. Our¡­ vitality! That¡¯s the word. We just direct it around. Not all who do it are mages, nor all mages do it the same way.¡± ¨C A pat on the back. - ¡°Meditation by training is a very powerful method, and it is also a way to train understanding¡­ Uh¡­ Self-aware soldiers. You see, we are not made for war, but for self-growth. Cultivation of the mind and body.¡±


    - ¡°¡­So, martial arts... Please don¡¯t tell me I¡¯ll have to fight them.¡±


    - ¡°Don¡¯t be silly. Put these on, I¡¯ll go look for a staff I can borrow.¡± ¨C He handed me a pair of gloves, and only then I noticed. Daien also used a pair, and so did the mages that were holding staves. What a curious little detail. Daien touched my shoulder.


    - ¡°It¡¯s oki-doki. I don¡¯t do well with athletics¡­ But they say I have a big imagination. I try to feel the world and connect to it, I like to imagine I¡¯m part of the elements. Maybe that will help you. You will be too, oki-doki.¡± ¨C She talked slowly, as to give me time to understand her words, beyond the fact it was another language. I nodded, reflecting on her words. Then, I started to put the gloves on, taking my time, calmly looking around-


    - ¡°Catch!¡±


    Yeah right- No. I got a wooden staff right to the face, my glasses falling onto the dirt.


    Sigh.


    - ¡°Ah- Sorry. I did not-¡±


    - ¡°My glasses-¡±


    - ¡°Here you go. Sorry, they got dirty.¡±


    - ¡°Aeh¡­ It¡¯s fine I guess. I¡¯m not that blind, anyways.¡±


    - ¡°Well, let¡¯s give this a try!¡±


    I was getting nervous over how excited Mizuen was. Staff held with both hands, I got pushed into the middle of the training grounds.


    The soldiers stared at me as one would to a lost child. I sighed again.


    ¡®Breathe slowly, focus. Focus so you only hear yourself. Direct the focus¡­,¡¯ or so he said.


    ¡®Guide your intentions along the way, let them flow away from the tip of your fingers. Add power to them. Shout your might.¡¯


    Yeah, I don¡¯t think I had any idea how to do that.


    However, I did know one thing. And Daien¡¯s words helped.


    I took deep breaths, relaxing my body, focusing on the feeling of the gloves, the slight wind that brushed my cheeks, the weight of the staff in my hands. Grounding had always been helpful to me. To think of life and beyond gets you closer to its core.


    What was magic supposed to look like? Feel like? Mizuen had said I could make a flame appear if I wanted. That it was one of the easiest exercises without athletic skills. A flame.


    Fire. Yes, let¡¯s light it up.


    I moved my left arm forward as I was told. Nothing happened.


    To ¡®try again,¡¯ he said. That it was okay, it would probably be days til¡¯ it worked.


    So again I tried.


    To become one with the world, with the elements. To become one with the flow of energy. The many lives that wandered across the dimensions were one and the same, and so it was for this world, as well - an absolute truth. I held the right to exist here, too. A shiver down my spine made me picture the river of possibilities.


    Focus on the earth below you, the sun above you. On the breeze around. The breeze¡­ Slight, like the one that took me away from home.


    The breeze.


    A gust of wind pushed me back, voices of panic crashing while I watched the soldiers fall. The ruffling of leaves and dust disoriented me; the recoil of the hurricane was so intense that I didn¡¯t even notice I was also on the floor. My hand burned, painful amounts of heat concentrated in the tips of my fingers, despite my whole body feeling incredibly cold. Stars danced around the midday sky as I felt palpitations in the back of my head.


    I heard the clinking of armor and heavy footsteps, albeit muffled by the dirt near my head. The softness of a warm coat covered me while I tried to process what happened. A laugh, more steps, a hand holding mine.


    I was so tired¡­ So sleepy¡­


    Out of nowhere, everything was so heavy¡­that I didn¡¯t feel a thing.


    I woke up in my room, back at the castle. It was nighttime already, but I wasn¡¯t alone.


    There they were, Arsamira and co., plus Kiochery; all of them sitting next to my bed, apparently playing some sort of card game. I sat up - Daien was the first to notice.


    - ¡°Von.¡± ¨C She said, pointing at me. ¨C ¡°You okay?¡± ¨C As little as she spoke, her English was getting better. The rest of them suddenly just- kind of jumped over me.


    - ¡°I¡­ You are all too close, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¨C Shoo, go away. Moreover, having a 1.90 meter long furry next to you was highly unsettling after¡­ just waking up¡­? ¨C ¡°Wait. What happened?¡± ¨C I asked Mizuen. ¨C ¡°We were there and trying magic and- ¡±


    - ¡°You fainted. Remember what I told you? Magic is energy. Vitality shaped into other things. You could not make a little fire, but you made a big¡­ Windy thing. Huh, I forgot the word. Eh- So¡­! We were worried- A bit more and you could have been in mortal danger!¡±


    - ¡°Is that so¡­? I guess¡­ I¡¯m glad my hands aren¡¯t burnt...¡±


    - ¡°Yes! To start, how do you even get that much flowing? How do you! Even Daien wasn¡¯t able to move that much! Also the soldiers-¡± ¨C He actually kept talking, but he was so agitated I couldn¡¯t understand a thing, and halfway thru his rant I noticed he was actually talking in Ilarin. Kiochery patted his back, and he took a pause. ¨C ¡°Ah¡­ Well. You were amazing. Everyone was talking about it, even if you passed out, it was incredible. That reminds me! We¡­ Never did a check-up on you. I forgot that. I apologize.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡¯m fine tho. Don¡¯t worry about it¡­ I¡¯m sorry I made you have to carry me back.¡±


    - ¡°Say that to Kiochery here. He is the one who rushed to see if you were okay.¡±


    So I looked at him and bowed slightly. I think I felt the blood rush to my head.


    - ¡°T¡­Thank you.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m glad you are safe.¡± ¨C I understood! But then something else hit me in the gut! The soft, warm coat¡­ His fur! His fur was so soft! And cozy! How on Earth was he so soft!? A 1.90 meter long walking fur coat!?


    I wanted to hug him so bad.


    - ¡°And since he¡¯s on stand-by, we¡¯ve decided to assign him as your retainer!¡± ¨C Said Arsamira. It took me a few seconds to understand with my broken Ilarin. ¨C ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be able to relax if I didn¡¯t know you had someone to take care of you! It feels like you might faint at any second. Tito Hae laughed so much after you passed out too, he was like ¡®Oh, so it wasn¡¯t all talk! The shrimp can do something if he tries!¡¯¡±


    - ¡°Waiwaiwait. Yar talking too fast-¡± ¨C I tried to say while laughing. ¨C ¡°But¡­ Yeah. I guess I can do magic.¡±


    It felt warm at first. I felt happy. Content. There was something I could do¡­


    ¡°¡­ No¡­ I can¡¯t do magic.¡±


    I whispered to myself. If this was a power fantasy, I would be in the spotlight. The sheer pressure of that idea made me feel sick; revolting, terrifying, a paralyzing fear crawling out from a past long gone. Scratch that option - if I had a normal disposition for this magic, it would be fine! But no! It had to go and be extra!


    At least I won¡¯t die without a fight while I¡¯m here, looking at the bright side. But dare to stand on the frontlines, I would never. I¡¯m still too much of a coward for this.


    The tension grew; as always, I ruined the mood, and made them worry. But then, as if to break the silence, as if to lift the burden, Arsamira took my hand and smiled.


    - ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¨C It felt like he had waited so long to talk to me, that he was taking any chance he saw. I smiled back at him.


    - ¡°Nothing, I¡¯m just¡­ still a little weak. Thank you.¡±

 05 - The trivial things

    They called the royal doctor to check on me in the morning. But first, a nice chat.


    This time, I was already dressed and up out of bed before the maid arrived, so I was able to greet her properly.


    - ¡°I still don¡¯t know your name, huh¡­!¡±


    - ¡°Loe. Though, you shouldn¡¯t worry about a mere servant¡¯s name, sir.¡±


    - ¡°You take care of the mess I am in the mornings, it¡¯s the least I can do¡­ I mean¡­! Thank you for your hard work.¡±


    She bowed and proceeded to change the pillow covers. I observed her for a while so I could see how to make her work easier next time. She kept giggling, and occasionally pet me when she needed me to move. Once she was done with her morning work, bed as impeccable as usual, she bowed to say goodbye for now.


    - ¡°Have a nice day, sir.¡± - She smiled, ruffling my hair a little. - ¡°I will come again in the evening.¡±


    I was told to take it easy that day, so I decided to stay in my room until the doctor came - my introverted, anxious self needed a break from interactions. I found myself coming back to the folded plastic bag I left in the drawer, next to my old clothes. I wandered between the desk and the window, and then from the window to the door. Internally, I was waiting for Mizuen to show up. I opened the door just so slightly to spy.


    - ¡°Sir Von, good morning.¡± ¨C Kiochery greeted me next to the door, it took me like three steps back to see his face.


    - ¡°Ah! Kio¡­chery. Good morning. Wait- How long have you been there?¡±


    - ¡°Since the morning rays, sir. It¡¯s my job to make sure no one of distrust visits you.¡±


    - ¡°Y-You could just have come in, said hi or something-¡± - Mumble, mumble.


    - ¡°Hm? I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t understand what you said.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Uh¡­You could have said hi at least! Sorry, did I say that right?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes. Huh. It¡¯s my job to be as invisible as possible. I don¡¯t wish to bother you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­But. We are already stuck together, so let¡¯s get along, yes? You can just call me Von. It¡¯s fine.¡±


    - ¡°I can¡¯t possibly-¡±


    - ¡°Why not?¡±


    It felt like he struggled to answer. Was I pushing too much? I backed up and apologized, getting a bit nervous. Yet, I was somehow comfortable around him. Maybe it was because of how soft his fur was, or how caring he had been, or because I was yet to see him as a proper person - which I felt awful about - but I felt safe around Kiochery. He was tall, intimidating - but kind and respectful.


    I knew this feeling. I wanted to befriend him really bad. His race was enough of a reason, I was incredibly curious about it; but also, sometimes it just hits you! Sometimes you see certain people and want to be closer to them. And that¡¯s just how it is. Right!? Right!


    Beating myself up internally for being annoying, I hid in the bathroom ¡®til the doctor arrived. That done and gone by, I was actually just fine. All ok. Oki-doki. Just exhausted, underweight, too short, too pale, too weak, a lil¡¯ blind- You know, normal stuff your family talks about during dinner.


    I spent the rest of the day in the garden; lunch and dinner, just thinking while lying in the grass; Kiochery stayed close by, in silence under the shadow of a sakura-colored tree. It was a calm evening, aside from Arsamira¡¯s sporadic visits.


    And, night arrived, the blue fell from the sky. Daien kept me company, and showed me her favorite spot in the garden. We watched the golden fireflies fly away, in a solemn peace, until it got cold. Even in the dark, she shined like a fairy.


    Far away from home, I found magic. Far away from home, the world wasn¡¯t so bad. For now, at least.


    I smiled to myself, wondering what my friends would think if I told them about this when I went back. The silly delusions of a traumatized hostage, they would think. I was never a very mentally stable person, after all.


    Nights are always fuzzy; they go by in the mist. I missed being held, spending the night in someone¡¯s arms. The dark ate me up, once again.


    Rise and shine. Once again, too, I was planning to eat alone, not wanting to share a table with the mightiest of the country. Loe, the maid, clearly had noticed this tendency by now. Once she was done cleaning the room - as I apparently had a routine of waiting for her before leaving - she tapped on my shoulder, with that sort of excited smile you get when you have a good idea.


    - ¡°I¡¯m so sorry if this offends you, but maybe you¡¯d like eating with me in the kitchen, sir. My father is the head chef, but he¡¯s a kind man outside of work.¡±


    - ¡°Oh the head chef- I¡¯ve met him before. Really nice man, comes out a bit too strong sometimes, yes.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Yes, yes he does.¡± ¨C She laughed, while the three of us - Kiochery following, as his duty commanded - went through the hall. As we passed, they greeted the servants and guards around; they would, normally, stiffen up in my presence, but now eased down thanks to Loe¡¯s attitude. Many of them were eager to introduce themselves.


    I felt their eyes on me. We kept walking, me, myself, and I clearly surprised by that turn of events. Loe pet me, softly.


    ¨C ¡°They are excited. After mister Io left, we were a bit disheartened, and the war wore our hearts down. We were afraid, many wanted to run away. We didn¡¯t want to give our lives for this nonsense. You brought them hope, sir. Even more after yesterday¡¯s event. The soldiers wouldn¡¯t stop talking about how you will fight with us in the war.¡±


    I think she saw the panicked look I had. I definitely couldn¡¯t hide it.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    We walked the rest of the way in silence.


    The kitchen was one of the less condecorated rooms of the castle, to say. On the left corner, ceiling windows gave light to the growing herbs, next to the dishes. The rest of the room was an odd combination of cold and warm. While it felt like a cellar, the candles and the ovens, the smell of the burning wood and the sofrito made it feel homely and alive.


    The team of six (6) that were in the kitchen at the moment were working slowly: washing dishes from the preparations of breakfast, peeling vegetables for lunch, boiling water for some tea for a little break.


    As we appeared, they stood up and stopped, waiting for the head chef to greet us. I hadn¡¯t met the morning assistants yet, so I shyly waved at them from behind Kiochery.


    - ¡°Loe! And the sonny from another world! ¡­Aren¡¯t you the prince¡¯s bodyguard?¡± ¨C Marke, the head chef, saluted Kiochery before going to hug his daughter. ¨C ¡°What can I do for you three on this merry morning? Does sonny need anything? The prince hasn¡¯t left me any requests, if that¡¯s what you are looking for.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s not that, dad. Sir Von doesn¡¯t seem to do well with multitudes, so I invited him to have breakfast with us in here. You got along well with mister Io, so- I mean. Maybe he¡¯ll prefer a calmer morning.¡±


    I unconsciously held Kiochery¡¯s sleeve as we sat down. In the corner of a table normally used to knead dough, us three and some cooks sat down for a light meal. Warm tea and freshly baked goods. I had to mention how well the water tasted in this world. Once again, my attention got dragged away by the food, and I got myself a delicious bagel. Or it looked like one, at least.


    - ¡°Magic really helps us with all the knicks and knacks, ya see, sonny. Treating water, controlling fire, helping crops grow. I can¡¯t use much anymore; I live a simple life now. But enough for me to be the head of the royal kitchen? Yah. I heard ya did a spectacle back then at the barracks, too. Ya gonna join the troops?¡±


    - ¡°¡­I-¡±


    - ¡°Dad! Shoosh. We aren¡¯t allowed to mention that around him.¡±


    - ¡°He¡¯s a man already, Loe. If he doesn¡¯t like it he should say it.¡±


    That didn¡¯t sit well with me. I looked down and kept eating my (delicious) bagel in silence. A big paw on my shoulder reassured me that all was fine. Or as reassuring as Kiochery could seem after eating five sandwiches and going for the sixth, with shining eyes of happiness.


    - ¡°Debs sadwids ad-¡± - Gulp. - ¡°¡­really good, sir. You should eat a bit more.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m fine. I normally don¡¯t eat breakfast, to start.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s bad, sonny, you need more muscle on you. It looks like a breeze could blow you away.¡± ¨C Said the chef, laughing a bit.


    - ¡°¡­It did.¡±


    Silence again.


    I kept doing it¡­ Ruining the mood.


    I tried to smile.


    - ¡°But it¡¯s fine. I¡¯m not a fighter. I wouldn¡¯t be of any help in the war, as a mage or anything¡­¡±


    - ¡°Ah, I see... But sonny, you ain¡¯t useless. You came here for a reason, no? Fighting ain¡¯t on you, but there is more to the war than just fighting. I was part of the troops during times of peace, so I wouldn¡¯t know - but my father, rest in peace, lived through that hell. Youngsters have it hard these days¡­ That they have to fight to the death to defend our right to exist.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Why do people want to get rid of magic this badly?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, that. Well, ya see. Magic for us, the oldies, is kind of a connection with the world, and the gods who gave it to us. A part of their power, yes. The Winged King who founded our land, apparently, was a wise man who taught the people the Important Things, he led us and gave us light. Light that fought against the Great Evil, after years of darkness.¡±


    - ¡°Darkness? The world was dark before him?¡± ¨C Of course, I assumed, ¡®Hey, this is a magical fantasy world. Are there monsters out there or something!?¡¯


    - ¡°Nah, nah. Lemme tell it right, aight. Long, long ago, we were guided by gods incarnate, apparently. Yah? Yah. So. One day they decided to stop carrying us around and left us. People ain¡¯t very bright and suffered from many things.¡±


    - ¡°Those times were called the Darkness, sir. By us they are known as the Great Nine Hungers.¡± ¨C Interrupted Kiochery, after finishing a seventh sandwich. ¨C ¡°Because you people kept accumulating food, animals, and land, and pushed us away. Because we knew how to live with nature, and you called that betrayal.¡±


    - ¡°As I said, sonny, people weren¡¯t very bright. They thought they were betrayed by nature itself, aight. Their fear caused them to create some shit called ¡®The Humanitarian Doctrine¡¯ or something. Those assholes think humans have to advance on their own means and reject gods and stuff - and I¡¯m like, good for them I guess, but they won¡¯t leave us alone. The Winged King taught those who wanted to know. And here we are, the descendants. That¡¯s all there is to it. We just want to live our way, enjoy the benefits of what we learnt.¡±


    As I listened in silence, still finishing the same (delicious) bagel from minutes ago, it came to my attention how silent Loe had been, too. She said her goodbyes, that she needed to go back to work, and left.


    Done with breakfast, I headed to the library, but it was closed. Strange.


    I, followed by Kiochery, spent another day in the garden, then, thinking about this world.


    Peaceful evening, for sure. A strange animal, like a squirrel, approached us. It sat between me and Kiochery, and then, after finding the source of the sweet smell of a magdalena I was eating, jumped to my face.


    I¡¯m used to a grumpy cat, so I didn¡¯t scream nor anything. Just held the creature and slowly put it away. Kiochery took it from me with disgust.


    - ¡°Little critter. There are some of these things in the garden, I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t notice before, sir. Are you alright? Should we head in?¡±


    - ¡°No, no, it¡¯s fine. I¡¯m fine. Is it safe to give sweets to those things, tho?¡± - I asked him while I took the little creature and put it back down.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sure they can eat pretty much anything. Normally they live on the sewers-¡±


    - ¡°¡­wait THIS CITY HAS A SEWER SYSTEM?¡±


    Don¡¯t ask me why I was surprised. I still am. I just don¡¯t know why. I didn¡¯t see aqueducts nor anything - but then again, I had never actually explored the city.


    - ¡°¡­Yes. Huh¡­ Is it that you haven¡¯t got one back in your world, sir?¡±


    - ¡°¡­ No no, we¡¯ve got many, I¡¯m just surprised.¡± ¨C I gave some bits of the magdalena to the squirrely-rat. I just¡­ Really don¡¯t fear rats, pigeons, all the dirty beings. I kind of find them cute, to their own extent. ¨C ¡°How does it work?¡±


    - ¡°Well, there are tunnels underground that lead to the river, but we¡¯ve placed a kind of¡­ dam? Specialized mages treat the water to make sure it''s clean enough to be integrated back into the river without affecting it. They use temperature or something like that. That¡¯s normally taught in the academy, I¡¯m just a soldier.¡±


    - ¡°Magic sure has many practical uses huh¡­ Never thought of that.¡±


    - ¡°How so?¡±


    - ¡°Well, back in my world, magic is a much more fantastical thing. Something you only see in fictional stories. And normally it¡¯s really flashy and colorful and all. The magic here feels¡­ a lot more natural. It¡¯s like it was made to just work alongside the world.¡±


    - ¡°But that¡¯s how it is supposed to be. Why would the world work with something that could damage it? It doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±


    - ¡°Well, I suppose many things don¡¯t make sense. Back in my world, if things didn¡¯t call the attention, they were useless. And, well, we didn¡¯t have magic. It adds up, huh. Such a thing wouldn¡¯t work with¡­ the modern¡­ world¡­¡±


    I had a realization at that moment. I had a reason to fight alongside them - alongside the people from Argatha.


    And I needed to find a way.


    Magic was part of the world, because it was as natural as breathing. Without it, the path of the humans will lead nowhere but¡­ but back. Back to the ever-present uncertainty, back to the apathy of the masses, back to a world I¡¯m terrified of.


    Maybe I shouldn¡¯t meddle in the affairs of another world; it was not for me to decide how their lives should continue. But I saw the future, I lived the future, I suffered the future. Yes, I wanted to go back home. I wanted to go back to my mother, my cat, my friends. But going back to corruption, to exploitation, to the loud cities and the dirty waters and the hoarding riches? Going back to a world that is trying to destroy itself? To a world that betrayed its people over the ego?


    The negatives weight heavy on my shattered heart. I don¡¯t want the land of gardens to disappear like that.

 06 - The path

    I had been hiding away from the majesties and the nobles as time went by, but that couldn¡¯t last forever, and I felt the pressure accumulating the past few days.


    Evening was, as appointed, time for the meeting. Time to decide. And I understood back then, during the audience, when the queen looked at me, that I was to report my aid by then. That it was time to stop running away, and say upfront what was it that I was going to do.


    Yet, back to the morning of the appointed day, I still didn¡¯t know what to do. I was never good at anything useful, and even if I was - apparently - good at magic, that was a big no-no from me.


    Mizuen came looking for me again.


    I was enjoying some peaceful time at the library, ignoring the impending doom crawling down my spine, when he sat by my side; we talked about a story Master Io had told him about. I tried not to laugh too much, as it was¡­ extremely close to the plot of Shrek. Kiochery waited at the library¡¯s doors, as his duty entailed. Heh, en-tail-ed. But, with enough convincing, he embarked to the kitchens for something to munch.


    After that, I wandered around the bookshelves looking for something else to read. I grabbed a random book with what I thought was a pretentious name. But before I was able to prove my absolutely unparalleled knowledge on how to judge a book by its cover, Mizuen called me from one of the corners, wanting to show me something.


    - ¡°I found my thesis! I graduated from the academy with this. I made it about sorcery, of course. ¡®The Many Conceptions of the Universe; How Magic is Shaped by Culture.¡¯ I used the things Master Io taught me about the magic of other worlds. I wanted people to know sorcery was just another shape of magic, like alchemy or astrology. Or like witchcraft, even if that one is only fantasy in this world. It was a fun research, I don¡¯t remember much of what I learnt about astrology, but alchemy is really interesting.¡±


    - ¡°I bet¡­¡± ¨C I took some seconds to understand it. And some other seconds to understand that I was proud of him, but also a bit jealous. ¨C ¡°You are really amazing, you know?¡±


    - ¡°¡­I- I mean- T-T-Thank you, heh¡­¡± ¨C He shook his head a little, and smiled. Was it maybe because it was still hard for me, that he went back to English, even now. ¨C ¡°If it¡¯s you who says it, I guess it¡¯s true.¡±


    - ¡°Huh?¡±


    - ¡°What? You are already really smart, yourself, so I take the compliment!¡±


    - ¡°Me? Smart??? Me?????? The only way me and smart go together in a sentence is with a ¡®not¡¯ in the middle.¡±


    - ¡°¡­What?¡±


    - ¡°Like! I only have one (1) braincell, and all its doing is playing Wii Music on repeat twenty four ¨C seven!¡±


    - ¡°¡­Wii Music? What is that?¡±


    - ¡°Ah. You see, Wii Music is a really special part of our culture, is ancient music used to meditate, it¡¯s said that the layers of frequencies hidden on it help us attain a higher state of the self.¡±


    - ¡°Ayoh¡­ Really?¡±


    - ¡°Pffft- No-¡± ¨C I laughed, as we walked back to our seats. His blank expression turned into a curious grin. ¨C ¡°It was a melody that became popular for being used for silly things. We had a really weird humor back at home, basically we would laugh at absolute nonsense.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, it can not be that bad, tell me!¡±


    - ¡°Well, I remember that one time I spent five minutes laughing at a video- Remember I told you about videos?¡± ¨C A nod. ¨C ¡°Yeah, so, the video was just¡­ Uh, let¡¯s say it was like a slice of bread. It stood there with background music, and the music becomes overly dramatic when the slice falls.¡± - A pause. - ¡°It¡¯s not that funny when I explain it, but trust me- It¡¯s hilarious.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I will take your word for it.¡±


    - ¡°Oh there was also- An image of a guy, and he was saying ¡®E.¡¯ That¡¯s it. That¡¯s all. E. PFFT-¡±


    - ¡°¡­Is it really that funny?¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s just- Can¡¯t you feel how silly it is? I¡¯m in another world- Explaining memes to you! It¡¯s- It¡¯s so stupid-¡± ¨C I kind of couldn¡¯t stop laughing, for real. The idea was so¡­ surreal. If this was a light novel, would that be the title? ¡°Explaining memes in another world¡±? I¡¯d live for that, yeah.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    - ¡°...I like it.¡±


    - ¡°Huh?¡±


    - ¡°Is the first time I see you lag..lag¡­laugh- so much. I do not understand those jokes¡­ but, I want to know more about the things that make you happy. I want to know more about the things you like about your world.¡±


    Ah. My heart. It hurts. I covered my face with the book, muttering a thank you as best as I could.


    Pretending to pay attention to the book, finally I knew that the title, ¡°The Wars that Start Inside,¡± was not pretentious, but instead, literal. It was a book analyzing tactics from past wars, specifically the ones during the ¡°Darkness.¡± Mizuen poked my hand, calling my attention back to him.


    - ¡°¡­But Von, I meant it. You are incredibly smart. You managed to learn a language¡¯s base in just a few days. Or is it that your world is filled with people who can do that?¡±


    - ¡°I mean¡­¡± ¨C Was it? ¨C ¡°...Not really¡­ But it¡¯s no big deal. I just have it easy because you are really good at teaching.¡±


    - ¡°A teacher can only be as good as their student, Von. I know that someone without an understanding of the world wouldn¡¯t have been able to do magic like you did. You are smart, and amazing. More than you think.¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t need... I don''t need pity, Mizuen. It¡¯s fine. I know I¡¯m useless, you don¡¯t have to try to make me feel better about it.¡±


    What was that sound he made? Like a weird mix between a croak and a groan. It caught me off guard.


    - ¡°Come here- I¡¯m going to beat you to death! You dumbass! You- You-!¡± ¨C Before I could react, he took my head with his whole arm and ruffled my hair like no tomorrow. ¨C ¡°Learn to accept compliments, idiot!¡±


    - ¡°Got it-Gotitgotitgotit- Stopstopstopstopstop-¡±


    - ¡°Fine. But you have been warned.¡± ¨C He took the book from my hands and checked. ¨C ¡°Tactics, huh¡­ It fits you, somehow.¡±


    - ¡°Does- Does it? Back at home I liked to play things like that. Strategy games. At least that was one thing I was good at.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, you did have games for pretty much everything, right.¡±


    - ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    - ¡°So¡­ Are you going to do it? Tactics, I mean. We do not have a tactician aside from Captain Hae, so it would help us.¡±


    He threw that ball so softly, so¡­ calmly, that I didn¡¯t feel it hit me. It took me a few seconds to react.


    - ¡°T-T-That I was good at games doesn¡¯t mean I can do it in real life!¡±


    - ¡°I would not have said it if I did not think you were up for it, Von. But I understand.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I wouldn¡¯t be able to cope with being in charge of protecting people. That in battle, any life that is lost would be because of my failure. I¡­ I don¡¯t think I could deal with that.¡±


    - ¡°That is one of the things that make you perfect for the job, Von. We do not really¡­ Expect to win. Just to lose as little as possible.¡±


    - ¡°Why did you bring this up all of sudden!? I¡¯m¡­ not ready to decide. I¡¯m not good at anything. Or well, apparently I¡¯m good at magic but! I¡¯m not good at fighting - I¡¯m as weak as a noodle, and a year won¡¯t be able to change that. I can¡¯t stand in the front the way I am.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I am sorry. It was us who brought you here. I¡­ I should not have. I know. But I also know that you would not have been chosen if you were not meant to be. I would hate to put pressure, but we need you.¡±


    ¡®We need you,¡¯ he said. He truly said that. I couldn¡¯t find it in me to make the decision, but¡­ I actually had thought of this. That if I had to choose something, I¡¯d rather help plan from the sidelines. That, at least, thinking was something I knew how to do. But that¡¯s just me, always pushing myself down.


    Deep, deep inside, I craved this. That maybe I was chosen for this. Maybe I¡­ Maybe I was needed. Maybe I was useful. Maybe.


    Well, there was more to it, too. They put themselves in danger by calling me here... It was clear, how truly desperate they were. It felt like a duty, as much as I hated to think about it. Something I wouldn¡¯t be free of until it was done. After all, I was never told I could go home after the war ended; I just assumed the best.


    I couldn¡¯t just leave it be, like that, while I waited or went away on my own. It didn¡¯t feel right.


    I could have accepted to be a mage, again. Maybe I could barely manage to not die. But would that be enough? It wouldn¡¯t. I¡¯m not a one-man army, I couldn¡¯t change the course of history like I was, and I would not offer myself to do something I had no idea how to do.


    I¡¯m giving too many excuses, probably, that was all I was doing so far. The past weighs on me - I¡¯m still afraid. And I feel more fear every day, waiting for the declaration of war. The anxiety won¡¯t calm down.


    Back to the start.


    - ¡°I had been thinking, actually. That I don¡¯t want magic to disappear. It¡¯s a thing that makes this world special. It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s the very thing that separates this world from mine, so far. I don¡¯t understand it yet, but¡­ If I came here for a reason, then I¡¯ll take it as it comes. Sorry, I¡¯m nervous¡­ I¡­¡±


    There was something uncomfortably funny about never being able to say the things I truly meant.


    - ¡°Take your time, Von. Is okay.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I want to help. With what I can- If¡­ If you think I can do this I¡­ I¡¯ll give it a try- I mean, I¡¯ll do it. Yeah. I¡¯ll do it.¡±


    - ¡°Then tell the Queen, I will be with you at the meeting. And... Again, I am sorry.¡±


    - ¡°Why?¡±


    - ¡°There is no use in hiding it from you, you would know sooner or later, so. I pretty much spent this week studying you. To see how¡­ Well, to see how we could use you. That sounds bad, yeah, sorry.¡±


    - ¡°I understand. The people¡¯s best interest comes first.¡±


    It was to be expected. Being used is not a thing I¡¯m unfamiliar with. I tried to shrug it off, the bitterness of it. The pain. There was a more pressing matter to deal with at that moment.


    At least, I''ll appreciate the honesty.


    Just like back at home, there was no time to mourn.


    The world moves too fast for me.


    Next, the inevitable unfolded: the meeting.

 07 - The one step

    Mizuen stayed by my side as we entered the Meeting Room. One of the few closed rooms with no windows; but there were plants hanging from the ceiling, nonetheless. And not only the ceiling - the thick, heavy wooden table had a rectangular hole in its center, traversing its length, that served as a built-in planter. I had to admit I didn¡¯t expect it - for a room with such a stiff and constrained feeling, for such secrecy, to appear so grand. The green walls and the warm light from the chandeliers gave it a surprisingly gentle air, resonating softly with the silky surface of the cushions of each chair, arms delicately decorated with motifs of feathers. Such details were complementary to the paintings on the walls; their prideful history, the rise from the Darkness - they exhibited scenes of the past long gone, when the Winged King walked amongst those walls.


    Daien was already there, in her seat, as the Third Court Mage. As the Royal Sorcerer, Mizuen took his assigned seat; I stood behind him for the time being. Then, in order, arrived Archbishop Use - even if his title was actually Chancellor, but I¡¯m not an expert on religion; Treasurer Sheqipi, who now I noticed was clearly like a sheep; Count Latrei, the Second Court Mage, who I have to admit I was a bit scared of; and so on. It¡¯s tradition for, every ten minutes since the set meeting hour, each member of the Court to arrive according to how long they have been in their individual position. The last to arrive, of course, were the Royal Counselor ¨C the second princess, to my surprise - and the Queen, who was above all law and tradition. She sat as mighty as ever, and with her greeting, the session started.


    - ¡°We already know why we are here, do we not? The overwhelming fear of the end. This could be, and might as well be, the end of mages on this continent. We are living in a historical moment, and it¡¯s in our hands to do as much as possible so that, when our stories get told, they are told with pride. I cannot promise our state will hold its ground; I cannot promise we will rise glorious above the enemy. We are here to accept our faults and see a solution. Treasurer, if you could please tell us about our current situation, to know where we stand, now that we have the full information.¡±


    The sheep-like niwe stood up, bowed, sat back down, and started talking. Their voice was clearly that of a young adult. It had a heavy tone of inferiority, and they were careful with their words to not let their native accent slip through, but it was as smooth as butter.


    - ¡°As far as economic matters go, we have lost the borders to occupation. A large amount of forested terrain to the north has been lost, in addition to what we already know; and the branch of the river that served as our only path across Zeliram to the sea has been closed. The crops that were just harvested during the New Moon were pillaged in the occupied zones, too, to force our people to fall in debt with Zeliriamen troops in exchange for food. The carts we sent with aid were raided, and one of the coachmen was killed due to an apparent misunderstanding, so no more merchants are willing to send their employees onto occupied land.¡±


    He waited for a reaction, but there were only nods and coughs.


    - ¡°And, well - the duke and the counts might want to speak for their own territories later, so I won¡¯t address them; there are still other matters to be discussed. We have estimated that the nur ¡°¨C the local coin ¨C ¡°has dropped to a value of 0,2 rup¨ªas. As we suspected, commerce is not a viable way to stay afloat. On the contrary, Zeliram¡¯s market influence has grown significantly as of last week¡¯s report, as they established merchant routes with countries from the West Continent not long ago. Their naval forces took control of the Talania river as well; their control over the Central Region is unparalleled at the current time. Because of all this, I don¡¯t see a way for us to be able to join the Ur-Union; our informants in Zeliram have discovered that to avoid trouble with the Union, the Adventurer¡¯s Guild won¡¯t be able to aid us either, even if our coin were able to pay the price.¡±


    There was a grim air around what I assumed were the counts; and the duke, Meilar, just looked at the queen with a slightly bitter expression. After some moments of pressuring uneasiness, Sheqipi kept talking.


    - ¡°I have calculated that, with what is known of the funds of the People, and adding the previously agreed upon aid from each territory, we have no more than twenty (20) million nur to work with. It¡¯s not enough for an army, but we can work something out if the merchants offer their aid. I believe we can arrange a deal, but¡­¡±


    - ¡°But?¡± ¨C Asked the duke, harshly.


    - ¡°The informants have reported that the Doctrine¡­ Well, Zeliram has been trying to win over the merchants by offering special permits of commerce with the Ur-Union. If that is truly the case, we might already have lost, and will be forced even further to comply and surrender. Iher has declared that they are allied with Zeliram; they have been occupying the northern borders - Count Eole¡¯s territory. For now, they lay inactive, but we don¡¯t know when they could act. As for the south, Koeshka¡¯s chancellor has declared that the minister does not wish to drop the state of neutrality, as they don¡¯t want to lose favor with the Doctrine, and that ¡®it¡¯s not worth helping a country that¡¯s on the other side of the mountains, the travel itself would wear down the troops.¡¯¡±


    - ¡°So we either give up or make a last stand, yes?¡± ¨C Said the duke, waving his hand around. ¨C ¡°It¡¯s a lot to do, but it¡¯s worth it. We still have a triumph card, don¡¯t we?¡±


    A swing of rose-gold hair. Count Latrei laughed at him.


    - ¡°You say it like it¡¯s easy, Meilar. Your people are probably tired of having to feed the troops. Oh, and didn¡¯t you also increase taxes? What for? Maybe to fund the aid you promised the crown? Money you should have had to begin with?¡± ¨C So, apparently, Duke Meilar and Count Latrei had beef. I just stared at the tea in front of me, as no one had acknowledged my existence yet.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    - ¡°I didn¡¯t know birds talked with snakes. Don¡¯t you have other matters to attend to? Ah, it must be good having it easy, hiding under the mountains.¡±


    - ¡°Silence.¡± ¨C Said the Queen, mighty. ¨C ¡°If you cannot keep your composure, I can assure you, there are individuals who would like to take your place.¡±


    I saw the duke flinch.


    After even more depressing news from each count of the West, North, and East territories, the conversation drifted towards the final decision. The silent stares, nervous tapping, the stagnant air; a pressure that seemed to never end.


    And, eventually - I don¡¯t know how long it took - they noticed I was there; wishful stares waiting for me to add something positive to the desperate situation. I could feel it, I was tied to a position I hadn¡¯t even assumed yet. The Queen, who clearly knew of my presence all along, called out for the sudden shift of attention.


    - ¡°As hopeful as some of you might be, sir Von is not the ¡®triumph card¡¯ I¡¯ve heard some of you mention.¡± - The shameful cold-shoulder of those who wouldn¡¯t admit their thoughts. - ¡°However, the Royal Sorcerer¡¯s studies on alchemy will be a great help during the battle. It is truly something unheard of - to fabricate posporita with the transmutation of yole leaves.¡±


    I was, of course, confused as to what posporita and yole were! So I asked Mizuen¡­ Even- Even with all the attention on us. Add their expressions of sheer bewilderment to the mix; how dare I break the pressure with something so silly!


    -''Posporita is a really explosive element, it¡¯s a black powder that can be used to make throwable fire balls.''


    -¡¯¡­Oh, gunpowder.¡¯


    -¡®¡­Gunpowder?¡¯


    -¡¯Ah, nothing. And yole?¡¯


    -¡¯Yole is a type of fungi tree, it has yellow leaves and they live really long lives. I- I will tell you more about them later! - but...- you probably saw one at the academy.¡¯


    Oh. So that tree.


    I suddenly felt it- Chills. Latrei¡¯s questioning gaze over me. Actually- everyone¡¯s. They kept¡­ waiting. Waiting for something. The Queen had been so kind as to help! And I! And I!


    I pretended to clear my throat.


    - ¡°Yes, I am not your triumph card, for I am¡­ aiding in an area I¡¯m not an expert at all. I believe it will be a better contribution for me to do so than being in the front lines.¡±


    - ¡°¡­So he isn¡¯t going to fight?¡± ¨C Exclaimed the duke, a little bit too loudly. ¨C ¡°He really ain¡¯t gonna? All that potential wasted?¡±


    Ah, the murmurs. The disappointment. The stares. ¡®I can feel it. I can feel the border of the abyss trying to pull me down.¡¯ As such, I was telling myself over and over to wake up from the panic settling in. Neither Mizuen nor Daien could help me there. Before the emptiness of white noise ate me up, someone spoke above it.


    - ¡°So, what will it be? What will you do, boy?¡± ¨C That familiar voice. I hadn¡¯t noticed the captain was also in the meeting, as he had stayed silent until now. I felt my body pull itself together with his lack of aggressiveness.


    - ¡°Once I know the state of this world and its warfare, I can aid you in tactics.¡± ¨C Breathe. ¨C ¡°I believe my insight, coming from a different land, with different levels of warfare, can be of some help.¡±


    My heart waited; the questions, the comments. So it approached - the judgment.


    - ¡°Sure, boy. I could use some help. Come tomorrow to the barracks, before the sun shows up.¡±


    The captain was quick to answer. I was sure they would chew me out. Me, of all people, useful like this? I doubted it. But even then, I found myself able to breathe freely again. My jaw unclenched and my shoulders relaxed. Breathe. Yes, breathe.


    - ¡°Are you sure we can trust him?¡± ¨C So mentioned Count Latrei, setting off alarms in my mind.


    - ¡°Calm down, Arlo. Why would the shrimp want to betray us? He can¡¯t spend a day without crying, apparently, let alone go back to his world on his own.¡± ¨C Ouch. ¨C ¡°And even-! if he wanted to betray us, what would he win? He can barely speak the language, to begin with.¡±


    - ¡°Huh. You will answer for him, then, I assume?¡±


    - ¡°Sure, what could this boy do? Look at him! I could break him in half if I wanted. Either way, the prince put his trust on him. That¡¯s more than enough for me.¡±


    - ¡°Since this matter has been settled, yes? I will call the meeting off. I will wait for the written reports from each territory, as was instructed last meeting. You can hand them to my counselor. And, if the Royal Sorcerer could also give me a report on his alchemical endeavors, I would be thankful.¡± ¨C The Queen paused for a second - commanding, seizing our attention with an inspiring glare. Her presence alone pulled us in. ¨C ¡°Our pride will help us stand, as we always have. So trust in our people and their talents.¡±


    A simple gesture as she stood up, a genuine smile, and everyone could breathe again. ¨C ¡°I thank sir Von for answering in front of all of us, too. You have done well, dear. Thank you for attending - all of you. Those who wish to stay for the lunch meeting, please inform my counselor beforehand. I have other matters to attend to now, if you¡¯ll excuse me.¡±


    Ah. My heart. It hurt. Her overwhelming kindness held me as she left, the ¡®dear¡¯ lingering in my head.


    Echoing.


    I miss mom so much.


    This time I didn¡¯t manage to escape my fate - the fate of having lunch with everyone else at the dining hall, as Daien and Mizuen wouldn¡¯t let go of me. But since they already know how I am, they tried to help me calm down after the whole endeavor of talking in front of the Court.


    - ¡°You can do this, don¡¯t worry.¡± ¨C Mizuen talked freely, as neither the Queen nor the Second Princess were present.


    - ¡°Why are you so sure?¡±


    - ¡°I have hear about tactics from other worlds, from Master Io. Believe me when I tell you, they will add so much advantage. But we need someone who is truly will- wiwing- willing to play the part.¡± - Add a little chuckle to that sentence - to try to make it sound lighter. Or whatever reason he had.


    - ¡°Ah, I guess that¡¯s m-¡±


    - ¡°You know, Von? Mizuen feels like he isn¡¯t from this world, he talks so much about weird things.¡± ¨C Arsamira barged into the conversation, as he does. ¨C ¡°I was so surprised to know all of those things were real. Like flying machines. To think they don¡¯t crash into dragons! Oh- Also! Are you really helping in the war? Really, we are thankful. I don¡¯t know what I would have done if you didn¡¯t! I would be exiled, actually! And my sis would have to become the crown princess. That would have been terrible, I tell ya. So thank you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Has anybody told you that you talk a lot?¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s one of my many charms!¡±


    We laughed together, silencing it - the pressuring fear, the weight on our backs growing by the second.


    It felt like I walked with a knife pressed to my throat¡­ Each day, each step forward digging it deeper into my skin. I didn¡¯t even have time to mourn for myself- even if the doubt drowned me in ¡®why¡¯s. Why, would you, me of the past, feel so sorry for yourself?


    I know. I know why.

 08 - Weighing the scales

    As the captain had instructed the previous day, we made our way to the barracks before the sun was up. The cold of the early morning kept me awake, even if we were still inside. The purple tones in the darkness, the silence, the closed flower buds, and our hands - holding warm cups of tea. That¡¯s how we walked across the castle halls, the prince and I, huddled in blankets, crossing the stillness of the madrugada. As usual, Kiochery followed close, as did Arsamira¡¯s new guard, Luze.


    - ¡°It feels like an adventure- Like, like a secret! A secret escapade before everyone is awake!¡± ¨C Arsamira was strangely excited despite his sleepy eyes. Even as someone who yearned for sunshine, his aura shone so bright, so bright, I was unable to stare. ¨C ¡°I haven¡¯t been out this early in so long- I think the last time was when Ae took me to hunt with her. I kinda miss her- Ah. Kio, hold my cup.¡±


    Aaaaand- he let that cup go as soon as he said it. Kiochery had to rush and catch it, while the prince rushed towards the open doors of the back entrance of the palace.


    - ¡°Sure is nice being young¡­ Kiochery, are you alright?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m- Yes, I¡¯mmah- fine sir.¡± ¨C Let him recover, just a few seconds. - ¡°Oh? Young? But, sir, you two are about the same age, are you not?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m not really sure, honestly... Oh! How old are you, Kiochery?¡±


    - ¡°24 harvest moons, sir! Still got a long time to serve you.¡±


    - ¡°I see. So, 25 years old. I¡¯m¡­ I guess I have lived through 20 harvest moons.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, the pinnacle of youth, then. I wonder, maybe you should eat more, sir. I¡¯m sure that will give you more energy!¡±


    And that¡¯s how it was, a laugh and a nice chat ¡®til we arrived at the carriage. The same as last time - a modest one, that Kiochery had chosen himself, as the driver. We left the empty cups in a basket Luze had with her.


    Arsamira decided to sit by my side. That ¡®it¡¯s cold,¡¯ he said, curling up next to me.


    The stars were fading away from the morning sky, and I was mesmerized looking out the window of the carriage. There was slow movement throughout the silent city as we crossed the streets, like a stretch after you wake up. The bakers, the merchants, the early workers - all of them paraded around, lanterns illuminating the nooks and crannies, waiting for the sun to help them. A gust of air went by, rushing, spiraling around my head as I looked through the window; thank the darkness that freed me from having to hide under a cloak. It was so refreshing to be out of the palace again - the smell of the cold air and the tears from the sky¡¯s first yawn, the strength of a purpose and the determination of the way.


    It was so nice, until-


    - ¡°Ah! Oh god oh lord what- A bug?¡± ¨C Splashing onto my glasses, a multicolor wasp-y creature.


    - ¡°What happen- Oh! Oh that¡¯s gross- Uuuuuh, here, a handkerchief. Silly you.¡± ¨C So said the prince, offering a typical, impeccable, embroidered handkerchief. Which of course I took. ¨C ¡°You can keep it, don¡¯t worry about it. But this has been bothering me- If you can do magic, why do you keep wearing glasses?¡±


    - ¡°Eh- I can wash it, don¡¯t wor- Wait what? What does magic have to do-¡±


    - ¡°You don¡¯t know!? Well, well, let me tell you! Since Mizuen didn¡¯t! You see! Learning magic can improve the body, and so and so! It¡¯s really good for people who are weak or get sick easily, since it¡¯s vitality! The energy that is life itself! So I¡¯m sure your eyes could get better.¡±


    - ¡°Huh- Is it really that good¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah.¡± ¨C The cold of the morning circled around us as the prince looked down, the first rays of the sun covering him in shadows. ¨C ¡°There is my¡­ My sister- Foebi. The second princess. She has always had a weak body, ever since she was born. But she managed to keep going.¡±


    A grieving tone. My glasses now clean, I stared at him, feeling the weight of the implications.


    - ¡°And she became a really good medic, too. Even... she became the Queen¡¯s advisor. The Royal Counselor.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s quite the feat¡­ Isn¡¯t she younger than the both of us, too? But she was standing so calmly next to the Queen, back in the meeting- She¡¯s amazing...¡±


    - ¡°Ah, you¡¯ll break my heart!¡± ¨C He laughed it off. ¨C ¡°It¡¯s no wonder no one wants me to be king, with such talented sisters.¡±


    Ah.


    - ¡°I did not mean that, Prince-¡±


    - ¡°Arsamira. Just Arsamira is fine. Even Arsa, if you want¡­¡±


    -¡°Ah, I guess¡­I¡¯ll try.¡±


    - ¡°And, well, since I can- Since we are-¡± - The hesitation in his tone made me worry. The shadows didn¡¯t hide any smile. - ¡°I-!...Well. Listen to me for a second, Von. I waited until now, so let me say this. I¡¯m¡­ I know I¡¯m the one who should be responsible for you, and that I wasn¡¯t able to do anything right. I was selfish, and summoned you for my own gain. To protect my people, yes! But also-¡­ to protect my title. And once you arrived¡­ I was dumbfounded. It felt underwhelming¡­ And I¡­ I left you alone. I left you, because I thought it was troublesome, even after you agreed to help us. But-¡±


    He smiled at me once again, shining like the morning sun that approached from behind the mountains. The warmth of his hand held mine against the cold, a hopeful grasp.


    - ¡°I know I asked for a hero. I was a fool to think I would get a knight in shiny armor. But if there is one thing I know, is that destiny brings us not what we want, but what we need. Now that I can say it with my own words, now that you can listen to it directly from me, I have to ask.


    Will¡­ Could you aid me? Could you stay by my side? Von, could you help protect the things that are precious to me?¡±


    As the sun rose above us, far away, illuminating the horizon¡­ I just closed my eyes. The rays made me see red under them.


    - ¡°Isn¡¯t it a bit too late to ask?¡±


    - ¡°I had to do it sooner or later. I do have my pride.¡±


    - ¡°Pride, you say¡­? But-¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry, you don¡¯t have to ans-¡±


    - ¡°Let me talk.¡±


    The prince flinched. His eyes met with mine. A gaze was enough, apparently; was it that he didn¡¯t want to confront it, was it that he didn¡¯t even want to bother himself with it-? He turned away - away from my anger.


    - ¡°This is the first proper conversation we¡¯ve had alone, isn¡¯t it? I also had a few things that I wanted to say to you¡­ No. I have a question for you, prin- Arsamira.¡± - I wished I could stop myself, but the words just flew and flew and-


    - ¡°What would be of me if I had dared to refuse? Did I¡­ Did I even have the choice? Did you even think of me as a person? Did you even think that I, too, have feelings? That I have a family, a home, friends- And that you took me away from them? Qu¨¦- Qu¨¦- ?Que me trajeron a un lugar donde estoy completamente solo? Do- ?Donde dependo totalmente de ustedes?¡±


    - ¡°W-Wha- Yes- Of course- ! I¡¯m really sorry for what happened, but I never thought you would feel like this- Von, you really don¡¯t have to help if you don¡¯t want to. I promise-¡±


    - ¡°Leave it alone.¡±


    - ¡°But-¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s a lovely morning. Let¡¯s leave it like that.¡±


    - ¡°I prom-¡°


    - ¡°Promise me that I will live to see my world again, or don¡¯t say a thing.¡±


    Utter silence. Not even a cough. Just the sounds of an awakening world, and a traveling cart.


    The only thing I remember from then on was Luze¡¯s judging gaze; it made my mind go wild with all the types of torture I would have to endure for daring to defy the prince.


    Now that I think about it, I probably leapt over Kiochery, as he opened the door from the outside, in an attempt to get off the carriage quickly. I couldn¡¯t breathe properly, the cold was oppressing, and my thoughts kind of...went the wrong way, yeah- to the many medieval tortures I remembered: the pyramid, the rack, the thumb screw- I didn¡¯t want to be dunked into water or tied to a wagon wheel...


    (I¡¯ll admit) I had overreacted back then, but even after calming down, the uneasy feeling of bothering someone who had treated me so kindly, despite their intentions, dragged me down.


    The morning dew and the fresh air eased the spirits - it brought a mutual welcome of truce between the prince and I.


    - ¡°Sir, I¡¯m sorry if this is out of place, but¡­ did something happen?¡± - Kiochery whispered to me while we walked through the patio.


    - ¡°Ah¡­ Nothing you need to worry about.¡±


    - ¡°I see¡­ Is just, the prince looks unusually bothered.¡±


    That¡¯s one way to say it, with how bitter he looked. It ate me internally, to leave it like that.


    Not being able to stand my ground, bearing a shameful stance of regret, I tried to approach him - the prince; even as bothered as he was, he shone as brightly as ever.


    - ¡°Pri- Arsamira.¡±


    - ¡°What is it, Von?¡± ¨C I think... the fact he spoke to me so casually did calm me down, somehow. Maybe it did. My body was tense anyways.


    - ¡°I¡­I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to be¡­so... harsh¡­ I¡¯m just...scared. I know you are doing what you think is best for your people¡­! I¡¯m just¡­ Uh¡­¡±Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    He smiled at me, as he would normally do. Just that, his smile. That was enough. I didn¡¯t wish for confrontation, nor for tension - or anything, really - to grow between us; aside from simple camaraderie - or, maybe, a lighthearted friendship. As addictive as his gleam of light was, I did not wish to stand under it. But, if kneeling down is what it took to keep him smiling, I would do it. For now, following him was¡­ enough.


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine, Von. It¡¯s fine. You don¡¯t have to be scared.¡± ¨C He raised a hand. And, even with that charming smile, I feared the worst. My eyes closed by instinct, flashbacks coming to me as I waited for the pain. I let my held breath leave my body when all I felt was the warmth of his palm on my head. Some ruffles. ¨C ¡°I will make sure nothing happens to you. I will protect you, it¡¯s a promise. I will¡­I will make sure that you get to see your world again. As well as those that wait for you.¡±


    As I looked again at that bright smile, there was nothing to do but let it sit. The unwavering feeling of disappointment, the weight of a burdened heart, lurking in the dark.


    But in my awareness of the charisma within his smile, within his words - a golden prince with a silver tongue - even with the wariness haunting me, I decided to trust him. Because his smile wasn¡¯t a fake one, it never had been. And that, by itself, was good enough for me.


    As I tried to hide, shaking ever-so-slightly behind Kiochery¡¯s wide back, a feeling that shook my guts and compressed my heart attacked me violently.


    I couldn¡¯t ignore it, I couldn¡¯t let it go; there was one thing I would never be able to run away from.


    That if they knew I wasn¡¯t going to be a mage, they would give me cold stares; what I deserved for the ¡®lost potential.¡¯ To walk the walk of shame. Disappointing others was, truly, the only thing I was good at.


    Arsamira stopped them, elegantly waving his hand.


    - ¡°Now, we have something to do, so we don¡¯t have time to lose. Go have breakfast for now. It¡¯s an order, alright? Thank you. It¡¯s nice to see everyone so energetic this early, please keep doing your best.¡± ¨C He talked as clearly as possible over the voices of excited soldiers. Disciplined as they were, they didn¡¯t waste time before leaving. Arsamira turned towards me. ¨C ¡°Are you alright?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, thank you, pri- Arsamira. I¡¯m sorry I got-¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. I told you I would protect you. And I keep my promises close to my heart, from the very second they are said.¡±


    Kiochery looked at the both of us with a slightly dumbfounded expression, I noticed. I held to his sleeve after bowing to the prince, trying to hide my own confusion.


    After that, past that, we finally arrived at the main building, where the captain¡¯s office was located. Knock knock.


    - ¡°Ah, Arsaboy and the shrimp - finally! You are kinda late, huh?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry tito, I didn¡¯t manage to wake up in time. I made them wait for me.¡± - Arsamira bowed slightly towards the captain.


    - ¡°Ah, it¡¯s fine then. No prob. As long as it wasn¡¯t the shrimp. Anyways. Chery, kiddo - since you¡¯re already here, stay.¡±


    Arsamira told Luze to go away, then.


    Behind closed doors, the tension grew. The captain¡¯s office was as one would expect of him; unfinished documents, empty bottles, a few dirty clothes - but the things that were important were immaculate. Not much dirt despite the carelessness; the warm wood and the dark red carpet gave the scene a sense of imminent, yet elegant, danger. An inevitable pressure that tasted like wine.


    My eyes wandered towards the very sun: the prince. Wondering of the intricate schemes he was constantly working on. Wondering about his presence here.


    To my eyes, he was standing beside one of his only assets within the Court. He must hold onto that bond.


    - ¡°I¡¯ll assume you did your homework, and know some basic geography, yeah?¡± ¨C Said the Captain, unraveling a map over his desk.


    - ¡°Yes, sir. Mizuen has been of great help getting accustomed to this world.¡±


    - ¡°Got it. Yeah, he¡¯s a good kid. So, Zeliram holds the borders, right? There are still Zeliriamen soldiers here and there, but most of them had to go back to stop the civil war. Here, in the west. And here in the east- Iher, is holding the camps in the meanwhile. So, with some luck, we¡¯ll have less to deal with. They ain¡¯t got that much of an army, since their strength is on the sea, and not on land. But the thing they got and we haven¡¯t is, well, a working economic system. You know we are basically hermits at this point. Yeah- I¡¯m just repeating what you heard yesterday.¡±


    - ¡°Yes, sir. I also remember, if I¡¯m not mistaken, that the merchants are being bribed into leaving our side, so I assume the government does not directly interfere with the economic system?¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s pretty much it, I dunno the rest of it thought. You should talk with the sheep to understand that.¡±


    - ¡°The sheep¡­ Ah, Shepiqi¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s Sheqipi, Von.¡± ¨C Arsamira corrected, laughing a little. ¨C ¡°The whole matter is that our country is founded under the principle of freedom with conscience. So, interference is forbidden for us unless absolutely necessary. We do have proper laws, but we prefer to educate our people, rather than forcing them to obey.¡±


    - ¡°I see. That¡¯s truly a way only a kingdom so isolated could lead on.¡±


    - ¡°I feel like that was more insulting than you intended.¡± ¨C The prince ruffled my hair. ¨C ¡°Back to you, Captain.¡±


    - ¡°Thanks.


    Well, back on topic, we know it might be around a year before they get the civil war under control, but I don¡¯t think their government will fall. They were strong enough to hold their position against us, I don¡¯t think armed civilians will do a better job. By this point the king is just a puppet of their Council, or so we were told, and one never knows what dirty tricks the Doctrine might pull; but even for them, defending two fronts would be exhausting. So, we need to attack before they have the power to fight back. It will be an all-out campaign, we have no right to look down on them. The very first mistake of the Southern Island was underestimating their enemies, and you see how that ended.¡±


    - ¡°¡­No, I don¡¯t know about that. How did it end?¡± ¨C I dared to ask- as shy as I was.


    - ¡°Ah, well. They lost their north peninsula to Plaigas, and it became a tourist attraction. It was highly humiliating for the prideful Mora, they thought their strength would be unparalleled in the ocean. The very reason their relics and monuments are used as a tourist trap is just to humiliate them further. The Mora people are bound to start another war sooner or later.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s¡­ kind of awful¡­ Having their lost heritage rubbed in their faces¡­¡±


    - ¡°If you¡¯ll excuse me, sir.¡± ¨C Said Kiochery, a solemn look of bitterness. ¨C ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad for the Mora. They are no more than arrogant slavers. They couldn¡¯t control their own beasts and force them to fight, so they bought slaves from the northern lands - who are known to be good tamers - and made them fight along with the beasts. Those who drag innocent people to war, those who enslave my ¡®kind,¡¯ as they say, are not to be treated with mercy.¡±


    It rang a bell - it wasn¡¯t the first time Kiochery mentioned something like that. The bitterness of his words, they carried history with them.


    A history of pain. A history of wounds that were too close to his heart. Is it that history repeats itself no matter the world, or is it just my luck to land in a place like home?


    People seem to be the same no matter where you look.


    Even if it was to be expected,


    it¡¯s saddening that such a magical world carried these wounds.


    - ¡°Anyways. So, don¡¯t underestimate your enemies. The Court is fine with simply losing as little as possible, just giving up if the citizens are in danger - but that would be disgraceful for us. I just can¡¯t afford to lead my soldiers to only shame and disappointment. If we are going to fight, we will fight until the last one drops. Got it, shrimp?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Ah, yes, I understand.¡±


    - ¡°Alright. So, here is-¡±


    While they kept talking about the situation on the borders, my mind wandered through all the possibilities - which apparently there weren¡¯t a lot of. No tricks, no ambushes. Just rushing towards each other with weapons in hand. The knowledge from watching too many movies, reading too many books, playing too many strategy games, already gave me a mental image of what was to unfold.


    - ¡°¡­and then there is the forest to deal with. We have barely enough archers to cover one camp, but arrows are the cheapest thing we¡¯ve got, so it¡¯s the only weapon we can afford to replace. Armed soldiers will only deal with the leftovers after the archers have made an opening and a follow-up. I don¡¯t know what to do with the mages, more than just leaving them behind the armed soldiers in case there¡¯s a break in our lines.¡±


    - ¡°Then shouldn¡¯t we move the mages behind the forest, maybe? The coverage from the archers will let them move without being seen, so they can attack before the armed soldiers- we¡¯ll save swords.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, Arsaboy, what was I just saying? Let¡¯s come from the hills, and intimidate them.¡±


    - ¡°One camp at a time?¡±


    - ¡°Not completely. At this point during the attack, we leave a few alive to sound their alarms, then wait for the nearby camps to come; we can leave the cavalry to deal with the leftovers there while we hold the main front, and when they join us, we¡¯ll have them surrounded.¡±


    - ¡°Hold on for a second, tito. So we will divide the troops- with such small numbers?¡±


    - ¡°Yes - the mounted soldiers can move around the riverbend more quickly, so we¡¯ll have them go clean the camps that were left behind. Unless they are dishonorable warriors that won¡¯t aid their own people, Zeliram¡¯s forces should come towards us, there, in the center. So we will be a destructive decoy.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Ah. That could work if-¡°¨C I unconsciously broke my silence. The sheer regret I felt half a second later still lingers to this day.


    - ¡°What is it, Von?¡± ¨C Oh no. The prince looked at me with expectancy, a smile on his face.


    - ¡°Nothing, I just- It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    - ¡°Talk now, boy. You are here to work.¡±


    - ¡°Well, I thought if the cavalry attacks at night, here, and here, we¡¯ll-¡°


    - ¡°Ahhh. Listen, since you are new here, I¡¯ll explain it again from the start. I see where you are going, and I really don¡¯t like it. I understand what you mean¡­ That there is so much else that could be done - but we have our own traditions. You come from somewhere else - a completely different place, apparently - so maybe you wouldn¡¯t understand, but this is important for us. It might¡­ come as a shock, considering how everyone talks of this kingdom as a place that focuses so much on pacifism, but our soldiers have an oath to follow ¡®til the grave. We fight to protect what we treasure - and to not be haunted by it, we need to fight clean. The pain and disgrace would be even worse than death for most of us, kid¡­ We may go back to the dirt we came from¡­ but we will go with pride and bloom once again. We will be rewarded in our next lives. It¡¯s the promise we hold close to our hearts. Us, as well as our brothers, because all of this region was once an empire - and we haven¡¯t forgotten that.¡±


    - ¡°With all due respect, sir, I was called to help win this war, I was called to protect the people.¡± ¨C I was regretting every word, but that didn¡¯t stop me. ¨C ¡°And if we have to use what you call dishonorable methods to ensure survival, then-¡±


    - ¡°Shut it.¡± ¨C And so I did. ¨C ¡°Tell me, would you be able to tell my soldiers to doom themselves - even after death - for their kingdom? To live a life full of shame, and expect death to be no better?¡±


    There was a warmth in his eyes, as if scolding a child, when he talked to me, despite the stern tone. I made it clear that I understood.


    After several moments in complete silence, he went back to the map; I decided to save my thoughts for later, while still paying attention to the rest of his ideas. I kept planning in my mind - studying the maps while writing down, mentally, the subtle details I had learned from the state of the kingdom and its people.


    I was taking my job seriously - even if I had no idea what I was doing.


    The rest of the meeting was¡­ pretty uneventful, and we got dismissed just in time for lunch.


    - ¡°You did well on your first day. Just don¡¯t argue so much with me.¡± ¨C is what he said, patting me on the back. ¨C ¡°But it¡¯s nice to see you¡¯ve got some bite to you, even if you look like a stick.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Thank you¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Uhuh.¡± ¨C He cleared his throat. - ¡°And ¡®bout yesterday. I had to get the Court off my back, I hope I didn¡¯t scare ya.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, that¡¯s- That¡¯s fine. It wasn¡¯t like¡­ any of it was a lie.¡±


    - ¡°Why, don¡¯t get all gloomy, kiddo. You are doing fine. Go get some food now, you¡¯ll need the extra strength tomorrow. Take care, I expect some ideas next time.¡±


    I didn¡¯t think much of the implications of that; I just accepted the pat, nodded, and left with the others.


    So, not done with the new experiences, and as tired as I already was, we had lunch with the soldiers. Even the prince, yes. His charisma was a weapon amongst the young and impressionable; I understood how, ever so silently, he kept gaining support from the common villager, rather than the wealthy and powerful.


    I don¡¯t remember much, just¡­ the haze of a long table full of lively, hungry people. A girl who threw some bread at someone, a guy who was mimicking a bird¡­ Maybe? It was a fun time, even if it was a ravaging mess. Above all, the prince offered to perform the daily prayer in place of his mother, for the humble folks. Standing there, his posture, his kindness- the delicate tone he used as everyone opened their eyes again afterwards; how he handed people the spices and asked about their days, how he remembered the names and faces of each of them - how he had trained with some of them, even. Genuinely bonding with his troops, the prince. A side of him that had shocked me a bit, as, until then, I¡¯d only known a spoiled, bubbly prince.


    - ¡°It¡¯s okay Von, you can eat now.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Yes. Sorry. I was just out of it-¡°


    - ¡°While looking at me? Well, I am pretty handsome, if I say so myself. Heh, come on, or I¡¯ll steal that cheese you got there.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, you can have it if you want.¡±


    - ¡°Gasp-! Offering cheese to me? Are you courting me?¡±


    - ¡°What- Does cheese mean-¡°


    - ¡°No no it doesn¡¯t- Heh. You are, like, really out of it, huh? I¡¯m just joking. I¡¯m not going to take it; you need to eat.¡±


    - ¡°¡­So you can be charming when you try, huh?¡±


    - ¡°So my charm truly transcends world borders, I see.¡±


    - ¡°Uh-!¡±


    It almost began to feel like a friendship, somehow - in such a short time¡­


    How dangerous it really is,


    to walk among the ambitious.

 09 - Cover from the sun

    the time.¡±


    - ¡°Well, you have to be pretty insightful on your own to always know what¡¯s bothering me.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s because you are easy to read, sir. Your emotions show too much.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Do they-? No, you¡¯re right, they do¡­ Oh god do you think the prince-?¡±


    - ¡°Calm down sir- It¡¯s fine. If anything, maybe I can help you learn to hide them a bit. But let¡¯s save that for later. Are you up for a long walk? Back to the city it¡¯s half an hour.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯ll be okay. It has been a while¡­ A really long while, actually - since I¡¯ve walked under the sun of the valley.¡±


    We departed the barracks at a steady, relaxed pace. There was nothing planned for us during the evening, beyond simply enjoying the rest of the day; there was no hurry, no goal. That¡¯s what Kiochery¡¯s company felt like to me, in merely a few days. A pause. A break. Even now, I couldn¡¯t be thankful enough.


    The breeze of noon, the feeling of¡­ September? A certain wind only the valley can cradle you in. Like a refreshing lunch next to a river - hot stones, a yearning for shadows. More memories came to me, as if to comfort me from the fate I¡¯d fallen into. The many times I almost drowned following my sister down the stream; that one time I got pinched by a crab; that hot - extremely hot - summer, in which I came home looking like a tomato from the sunburns; that stray dog mom adopted because it followed us home, when our father was still with us. I had a lot of memories of the valley back home. But now I walk alone the streams of eternal grass between the hills.


    Correction ¨C not alone. I have a friend with me, for sure.


    - ¡°What is it, sir? You seem to be dozing off. Are you feeling ill? Is the sun making you feel dizzy?¡±


    - ¡°Oh nonono- I¡¯m just remembering things. It reminds me of my childhood. The valley, I mean.¡±


    - ¡°Your childhood, sir? Do tell me, if you can. I¡¯m curious about it.¡±


    - ¡°Well, I guess you would be. I haven¡¯t really told you much about my world- Ah. When I was young, my mom was still healthy, and my sister still lived with us. So we would often travel during the summer, sometimes to the valley for the day- but also to the mountains, where a relative had a little cabin. I lived near the coast, you see, so I was always- well- extremely happy to see the snowy tops of the cordillera.¡±


    - ¡°Oh- A cordillera- Just like here?¡±


    - ¡°It must be funny¡­ It is, actually. There could be millions of different worlds that are completely different from mine, but I happened to land in a really similar one. One I can admire without feeling so ¡®alien¡¯ to it. It makes me miss things I had forgotten. You know? I stopped going out long ago- I had been¡­ hiding in my room¡­ Probably for five years, if not more.¡±


    - ¡°No wonder you are so pale, sir- I mean! It sounds like something harsh happened. You don¡¯t need to keep telling me about it all if you don¡¯t feel well. I know I have a bad habit of asking too many questions.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine, don¡¯t worry- And you aren¡¯t that bad, Kiochery. I like talking to you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Kio is fine. Chery is my family name; you don¡¯t need to say it.¡±


    - ¡°Oh¡­!¡°


    - ¡°I also come from a city near the coast, sir. So we have that in common, too- Isn¡¯t it ni-?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Kio!¡±


    - ¡°¡­Y-Yes?¡±


    - ¡°Then you¡¯ll call me Von too, right!?¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡¯ll- I¡¯ll try to, sir-¡±


    - ¡°Von!¡±


    - ¡°¡­V-Von.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s right!¡±


    It felt like hammering down a barrier. I remember how much I had worried the first day he watched over me - how I wanted us to get along, how I was afraid of bothering him too much. I mean, I still am, but... part of trusting someone is believing in them, their words, their actions.


    I trusted that he enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed his. He, who was literally always by my side.


    It was revitalizing, as we both laughed on our way to the city. The pressure, the tension, the heavy morning, it felt like it was very far away. Birds, stones, the dry dirt and the lush herbs, they too were left behind with our pace.


    Time went by, as the arches and walls that held waterfall gardens rose above us - the pride of a city of green. And so, we arrived at the center of the city.


    Movement buzzed according to routine, everything moved like clockwork. I recognized some streets I had been watching from my window at the castle. The variety of people, buildings, objects, clothing- it was the first time I got to see it clearly. They fascinated me, once again - the combination of greenery and scenery. How some houses stood by giant trees; how the market had gardens dividing each stall; how tree stumps, roots, and white bricks aligned themselves to build up plazas and stalls.


    I felt myself start to wander around, wanting to see more, to learn more. To understand how a place could be so beautiful.


    Kiochery grabbed me by the arm.


    - ¡°Sir, stay close to me. It could be dangerous for you to go too far.¡±


    - ¡°I won¡¯t, don¡¯t worry- Besides, I¡¯m sure this place is still safer than back home anyways.¡±


    - ¡°Sir. I know you are excited, but-. You aren¡¯t a tourist. Remember, all living beings are capable of hurting others.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Ah, yes¡­ Sorry.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine, sir. Sorry for that. If I may - could I show you around the city?¡±


    - ¡°Sure! I mean- Hghgh- Yes, please.¡±


    As he let go of my arm, Kio¡¯s laugh caused me to look away. To focus on something else- Like the glares I had been getting from certain people ever since we entered the city.


    We wandered through taverns, inns, a music store, a small clinic of sorts, apothecaries, restaurants, bakeries- It was truly a thriving city despite their situation. We looked around a flower shop - the colors and shapes so inherently foreign despite not looking like anything truly fantastical. It awoke something I had lost - Inspiration.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Such a beautiful, picturesque city, with white bricks and flowery roofs; the calming everyday life of a simpler, better world. I wanted to steal its concepts. To draw it, to write it, to share it.


    - ¡°You seem really excited, sir. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s just because of the ambience, but I¡¯m glad. I was scared that the pressure would be too heavy on you.¡±


    - ¡°It is- It really is. Too heavy. But, you make things easier. I mean- Talking to you about it. Even if it¡¯s your¡­huh¡­ job¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sir, it is, surely, not my job to befriend you. That¡¯s just my choice. Come, let¡¯s enjoy the market, I heard from some soldiers that they had some delicious vilura on sale-¡±


    - ¡°Actually- I saw a bookstore when we passed on the carriage. Could we go check it out? I¡¯m curious.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, of course!¡±


    Said bookstore was beautiful. Hidden under shadows projected from vines, to the side of a small little plaza, the square building with a wooden roof remained cozy and fresh; a little bench next to a board with the daily deals resting in front of the glass windows, waiting for someone to come and relax. The bell behind the door called as I opened it, the smell of paper and ink welcoming us. A paper that smelled like leaves and grass, like petrichor and morning dew, the same as in the castle¡¯s library. The owner came to greet us, an old man with a silly smile. Worn down posture, strong hands; you could see a lifetime of experiences in his walking alone.


    - ¡°Good day, youngins. Looking for something specific?¡±


    - ¡°Good day. We are just looking around, thank you.¡±


    - ¡°I see. Ah, the youngin from another world, are you not? If there is anything ya don¡¯t understand, I can help.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Y-Yes, that¡¯s me¡­ So it was obvious, I guess.¡±


    - ¡°The hair, the eyes and all. City¡¯s been buzzing about it. Better be careful out there, us civilians don¡¯t want more war, so they don¡¯t think yar much good news.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ see. Huh, thank you. I¡¯ll keep looking around, if you¡¯ll excuse me.¡±


    I rushed to Kio¡¯s other side, hiding from view.


    There were many books on many topics. So that was a pleasant surprise. Geometry? Philosophy? Hell, even astronomy! I didn¡¯t dive so deep as to read full theories, but they truly had whole scientific systems and laws that worked pretty much like the ones back in my world. I facepalmed myself internally - of course they did! It was a world after all. A whole world.


    - ¡°Kio, how much is 20 nur? Is it expensive?¡± ¨C I asked in a whisper.


    - ¡°For books, no. It¡¯s still around a whole day of meals. But it¡¯s surely way cheaper than in any other country.¡±


    - ¡°Hmmm¡­ Oh- They have notebooks too!¡±


    Next to the counter, leather journals and little souvenirs. Quills and ink, too. What a precious little stand.


    - ¡°Yes, we¡¯ve got a few of them. If ya want something fit for school you¡¯d go somewhere else, though.¡± ¨C The owner jumped in the conversation.


    - ¡°Oh, no, I haven¡¯t go-¡±


    - ¡°Or is it that ya want something to write with?¡±


    - ¡°Again, I haven¡¯t got-¡±


    - ¡°There is this one quill I have saved from last season that-¡±


    - ¡°S-Sir, please- I haven¡¯t got money. That¡¯s the thing. I¡¯m just looking around.¡±


    - ¡°Oh. I see. I thought the royal family would give their pet some coin.¡±


    - ¡°The-The- I guess I am. Huh¡­¡±


    - ¡°If I may, sir, we are leaving.¡± ¨C Kiochery took my arm and dragged me out, his tail swaying furiously, hitting my legs. Didn¡¯t even have much time to say goodbye. He stopped after turning a few corners down the street, eyebrows furrowed.


    - ¡°Kio-¡±


    - ¡°Sorry, sir. It¡¯s just- You shouldn¡¯t let people talk about you like that.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry. I¡­Huh¡­ It¡¯s fine. Really. I¡¯d rather know how people see me, too.¡±


    - ¡°Still. Well¡­ It¡¯s fine. I guess. May we go eat something instead?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s a good idea. You said something about vilura on sale-¡°


    Fun times ensued, as I got dragged around, rather than guided, to Kio¡¯s favorite food stands. Fried foods, sweets, pastries, some sort of breaded egg, and more. He told me about how the city had changed since he got there - the remodelaciones of the public gallery, the construction of a museum inside the palace (which I did not know existed), or about his favorite bakery being passed down to its baker¡¯s son, whom he was friends with.


    Kiochery, just like Arsamira, was loved by the people, and he loved the people back.


    I choose to not pay much attention to how distant I felt in comparison, the look in their eyes, or how I was pushed aside. I ignored the fact that I was not welcomed there.


    We took a turn to a little store, another small library squished between two (2) trees that held its structure. It had a smell of fresh shadow, instead of compressed bookshelves. The lady at the counter waved at us and kept reading, hidden between little mountains of books. That was amusing.


    I walked upstairs, to another floor with chairs and shelves, as I eyed the heavy tomes and the leather covers. Hidden in one corner there were even scrolls, as well as some strange wooden tablets that caught my attention. The ogling got interrupted by a familiar, curious tone - I hadn¡¯t noticed he had left my side and come back.


    - ¡°Sir, by any chance, are you actually interested in writing?¡±


    - ¡°Huh? I mean¡­ Maybe. I did used to write back at home. I miss it. There is so much that inspires me here... Ah, why the question, Kio?¡±


    - ¡°It seems like a thing you would do. How to say it- the artsy type.¡±


    - ¡°Heh- Maybe? I liked to draw and write stories. I just kinda grew out of- Huh, I got bullied out of it, I guess.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Would you like to try it again?¡±


    - ¡°W-Why? I mean- Well, it would be really nice. I would like to remember the times I spent here, despite everything.¡±


    - ¡°I thought so too. If you are going to go back to your world one day, I¡¯d like you to remember me-¡­I mean- us.¡±


    - ¡°¡­That¡¯s reassuring. I¡¯m not the only one that wants to be remembered...¡±


    - ¡°Sir, I couldn¡¯t forget you. Even if I tried.¡±


    - ¡°Come on, Kio. I¡¯m nothing special, you don¡¯t need-¡±


    - ¡°I mean it, sir. If I can say, it has been too long since I¡¯ve been treated as a person. I had forgotten how it felt - to be listened to. The prince treated me like a nuisance, the soldiers treated me like their shield. In the battlefield, I was nothing but the one they left the clean-up to. I have no honor to the old ones, because I¡¯m not from this kingdom.¡±


    - ¡°Kio- Don¡¯t think I¡¯m being kind just because I treat you with basic respect, you shouldn¡¯t look up to that-¡±


    - ¡°I won¡¯t, sir. But for now, it is more than enough. I was waiting for my hopes to be broken, but you never disappointed me, sir. I don¡¯t need more time to know if a person is worth it or not. I¡¯m thankful to serve under you.¡±


    What a statement to make, to someone you¡¯ve known for so little time. But I understood - the craving of kindness after your hopes have been shattered. I have been there, too, clinging to every little ounce of affection I could get, even when it broke me.


    He hugged me gently, and I felt the soft fur on his chest completely covering my head. He was so tall, so strong, I guess affection was unfamiliar to him. I don¡¯t know. I have never been in such a position. It¡¯s probably bad¡­to feel pity. But I couldn¡¯t help it.


    - ¡°Give it more time, Kio. It¡¯s still too soon to know. You shouldn¡¯t- You shouldn¡¯t get attached to me¡­¡±


    - ¡°With all due respect, sir,¡± ¨C he laughed, letting me go ¨C ¡°that is not for you to decide. I wanted to help you ever since I knew what the prince had done - even before meeting you, sir. It could have been anyone, but it was you.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ Uh¡­ Alright¡­¡± ¨C Hesitation. ¨C ¡°Sorry- I don¡¯t know how to respond to that-¡±


    - ¡°Just accept this, then. That would be enough.¡± ¨C Kio handed me a small journal and a blue quill. I jumped back, tensing up. ¨C ¡°Ah- Sorry, was that too much? I know I talk too much, if that was-¡±


    - ¡°¡­............Yes. That was too much. I¡­ I think I need a moment, yes.¡±


    I sat down in one of the rustic chairs, holding my sleeves as if to keep my hands occupied, while Kio¡­ stood there, with that apologetic look of his.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry sir, I-. I guess it is a culture thing¡­ I should have known- You always talk badly about yourself, I just felt like I had to-¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m¡­ not good with people¡­ nor with feelings¡­ nor anything. It¡¯s just that - not your fault, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯ll try to be considerate, to keep it in mind. I¡¯m sorry for making you uncomfortable.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. Since it¡¯s you, I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll learn to enjoy it. We are going to be together for a while, after all.¡±


    I didn¡¯t pay much attention, but I remember hearing a noise after that. A noise that came from Kio¡¯s incessantly wagging tail hitting the side of the bench.


    I held the journal in my hands, calmer now. It had a feather marked on it, as was common in Argatha, apparently, to use as a symbol of quality. The leather in the cover had a strange texture, as if from an animal I didn¡¯t know.


    Writing again, well ¨C. I was surprised Kiochery guessed it. But maybe it was expected of such a bookworm.


    A journal¡­ A diary didn¡¯t sound so bad, for practice. I decided to put care into it. I wanted to be able to feel my memories as I read it, hoping I would be back home by the time it was finished. So far, I¡¯ve been having fun, for sure.


    The day isn¡¯t over yet, however.

 10 - Move

    I passed the things to Kio - the small notebook and quill, in a little bag - and we kept wandering around the city. It was around 5 P.M. already, if I had to guess. The sun sat on its throne, unforgiving, slowly descending towards the far away horizon, towards an ocean I couldn¡¯t picture.


    Walking, enjoying the fresh bread and cold tea Kio bought from a pleasant old lady - in those simple things, the evening time turned away slowly. I remember her clearly. Old lady Nichirca, whom Kio clearly got along with, as everyone else. Her accent was different from the one I knew, and we discussed it while walking across a small street full of fabric and couture stores. Tailors, designers, it was the opening section of the fashion district - which wasn¡¯t as small as one would expect, considering the isolated state of the kingdom. I tipped and stumbled here and there on the few uneven bricks and stones.


    Excuse my trouble translating at times ¨C the conversation went on like this:


    - ¡°So, this is¡­ supe de choca? And she called me... mirri, I think it was?¡±


    - ¡°Supe de choca is just choca tea. Supe is an old way to say chupa.¡± - Kio was helping me understand what she said. The people in the capital normally talked pretty clearly and plain, so I wasn¡¯t used to any slang nor accents at all.


    - ¡°¡­Let me¡­ I know this, I know this... Mirri is like, something affective-¡±


    - ¡°Like ponberri, ponbarri and ponbirri - just add the rri-.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Oh- I know- So it¡¯s like- Mijito¡­Uh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Oooh. Well, choca tea is supposedly really relaxing. I guess she was right.¡±


    - ¡°If that¡¯s true, I¡¯d like to drown in it¡­¡±


    - ¡°Well, that¡¯s one thing you could say. I¡¯m sure you can get some herbs at the castle¡¯s apothecary that will help with that nervousness of yours, sir.¡±


    - ¡°Herbal medicine¡­ Surely, that sounds like my kind of thing... I wonder if there are plants that work like- Oh. I wonder if I can find ingredients that taste like those back at home. I could make something¡­!¡±


    - ¡°You can cook, sir?¡±


    - ¡°Eh-... Yes¡­? Yes I can. I¡¯m a pretty good housewife¡­, if I say so myself.¡±


    The way Kio laughed was endearing, as warm as the colors in his fur. It kept amazing me, how the structure of his muzzle moved and his fangs showed. How his tail wagged. His ears twitched.


    He stopped for a second, and his expression changed. I felt a paw on my top of my head.


    - ¡°Sir? Your head is really hot. Do you feel dizzy or anything?¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ Yes? Actually, yes. I guess¡­the sun is starting to get to me. And the stares, too... People have been looking at me too much¡­ and I¡¯m not used to it...¡±


    - ¡°Oh- Let me- Sit here, sir, in the shadow. I¡¯ll go get you something cold- Don¡¯t move, alright?¡±


    Kiochery didn¡¯t take long to lay me down next to a tree. There was some uneasiness in how quickly he left, his tail now down and his ears attentive. I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about how fascinating that was - or maybe I could, if I wasn¡¯t dying from a heat stroke. The very few things I could focus on kept me grounded.


    The fresh shadow protecting me against the heat of a white-brick city, the reflections hard on my eyes. I noticed how their life depended so much on the plants around them. The aesthetic was the very reason they could go on happily in such a place. I wondered if, before the Winged King arrived, the central region had been more desertic.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    Why would I wonder such things?


    Well, I was left alone for quite the time.


    Sitting there, half asleep, my head throbbing, pulse echoing all over my body.


    And when I looked around, still wary of the gazes of the people, who didn¡¯t even mind seeing me half-gone like that¡­ Well, I kind of felt the loneliest I had since my first night here.


    I wasn''t foolish enough to pretend to not know why they would look at me that way, but... I was told upfront anyways, so.


    There¡¯s a pattern here that followed me across worlds, looking back at it. I guess it hurts more than I thought. Well, of course it hurts - to be blamed for what was forced onto you. For the pain you were given.


    I didn¡¯t want to think about that, but gladly - well, not really - there was a more urgent matter at that moment. One I overheard.


    - ¡®It¡¯s a chance to get rid of him. Koen will be happy, don¡¯t worry.¡¯


    A shadow approached, and it sat close to me. From the corner of my eye I could see that it wasn¡¯t alone. One on each side, and a city of strangers that wouldn¡¯t care.


    From past experiences, my anxiety spiked. I needed to leave. Even when I tried to reassure myself that things would be fine - that here, things were different... Kio¡¯s words resonated in my mind. I shifted around, using the tree as support while I tried to stand up.


    Tried, I say, since when I started to get up, my legs gave out on me. What a golden opportunity, the one that I gave them. Well done.


    Hands suddenly gripping my shoulders, my arms, my neck - violently trying to grasp whatever they could. I tried to push them away with the little strength I had left. Not enough. My torso aching from the pressure, I was dragged away.


    I stabbed my nails into the arms that held me in place, adrenaline¡¯s rush allowing me to struggle against the two men as I bit them to try to get them off.


    Taking me to a house by the corner, one rush to open the door.


    The other tried to drag me inside. I tried to brace my feet against the doorframe, with the little strength I could muster - and I slipped.


    I tried. I did try.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe properly ; everything was blurry ; I couldn¡¯t even reach the floor.


    Bitting, scratching, cutting, pushing, hitting, grabbing whatever was within reach.


    The sheer struggle allowed me to slide down, thank my size.


    It was hard to keep hold of a wriggly worm.


    And as soon as I felt my feet reach the floor, I ran.


    And ran.


    And ran. To wherever my fainting body could take me.


    Freezing and febrile, irregular breathing. Was it mine? I don¡¯t know.


    The scratch on my arm - was it a branch? Was it them?


    I bit my tongue.


    A numb body that ached in every corner, holding itself together in pure fear.


    Dry throat, making me cough, while I raced against everything in sight.


    Footsteps, voices, shadows.


    Run from all of them.


    Countless streets were left behind by the time my body gave up.


    I gasped for air as my legs crumbled-. I dropped right there, holding my chest - a trembling mess of a human.


    I felt a hand grabbing my arm again - a big and lumpy hand. I panicked. I tried to push away, but another hand held me by the shoulder. I looked back-


    - ¡°-sir! Sir calm down- It¡¯s me. It¡¯s Kio. It¡¯s fine, I¡¯m here- I¡¯m here now.¡±


    Kio didn¡¯t let go of me. His touch was careful. Soft. Oh dear, he looked so worried.


    - ¡°Ah-¡±


    I think I fell right into his arms, shaking uncontrollably. I probably started crying. I don¡¯t know. Everything seemed blurry. I couldn¡¯t process what just happened. I just-.


    I was just glad he found me.


    The night was already falling over us, as if telling us it was done. It was past. It was alright now.


    Lanterns and fireflies to calm the spirit, the cold wind cutting the duality of time.


    We arrived at the castle looking like a mess. Kio carried me in his arms, a wet towel over my forehead. As for the rest, I just heard mumblings. Who knows what else. I was too tired.


    I curled up in Kio¡¯s arms, his softness keeping me aware of reality.


    He placed me gently onto my bed, and never left my side.


    He just apologized, again and again, for taking too long. For not being there. For failing his duty. For failing me.


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. Just stay here. I¡¯m safe. It¡¯s fine. Just stay.¡±


    And so he did.


    - ¡°I guess it is as much of a good time as any to start writing. Ah, I need ink.¡±


    Kio¡¯s ears perked up slightly as I said that, and he gently handed me the bag.


    I asked Loe to bring some ink. And asked her to not inform the prince yet.


    Oh dear, the prince. Arsamira was probably so mad that I didn¡¯t show up for dinner.


    To hell with that.


    That¡¯s how the night went - writing down memories of my first days there, Kio by my side.


    Sharing the words that crossed my mind.


    Ignoring the tendrils that crept up my spine.


    For a hurricane was unfolding - and I slept in the eye of it.

 11 - You have to move on

    A dark sunset inside a room. A room with many empty windows.


    There was no outside. Just a falling sun. An invisible illusion of a star.


    There were shadows behind me, shadows made of light. It felt exhausting, claustrophobic-. The blue and red walls of a never-ending room, they were constantly moving. Up and down, despite not being able to notice it. The south was short, and the north was long. In the center of the universe, there it was. A revelation that took me away from my body.


    The silhouettes ate me. I fell inside them, twirling insides palpitating. Nausea. Throbbing flesh and guts, five tongues, quintessential eyes.


    The path that opened with a knife - it was foul, foul and sickening. The corpses laid there as I curled next to them, crystalizing.


    I woke up with a sharp, cold needle of fear inside my heart. And the warmth of a hand made the pain jump to my throat. Paralyzing.


    But the softness of the fur, as I opened my eyes, comforted the incessant anxiety.


    - ¡°Sir- Are you okay?¡±


    - ¡°Kio-¡­ Morning. Ah, hi Loe¡­ I overslept- Sorry.¡±


    Kio had come to wake me up, while Loe was cleaning up the room. Well- not wake me up, considering how high the sun was, how Loe was almost done with the carpet, and how Kio was on his fifth cup of tea.


    - ¡°Oh, no, sir. We just wanted you to rest¡­ Ah! The prince himself came this morning to¡­ visit¡­ So we explained the situation. He said it was fine, as long as you showed up for dinner today instead.¡±


    - ¡°I see¡­ Did you sleep, Kio?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, sir, don¡¯t worry. I came here early morning to guard the door.¡±


    - ¡°I made him get inside, seeing how worried he was, sir. I¡¯m sorry if I shouldn¡¯t have, I thought you might approve of it.¡± ¨C Loe bowed slightly, duster in hand. - ¡°That it would be comforting.¡±


    - ¡°Ah¡­ I¡¯m sorry- I mean- Thank you. You two got so worried, I-¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I just keep causing more and more trouble, don¡¯t I-¡­? Even when you have been so kind¡­ Aaaaah- Perd¨®n- Soy un desastre-¡±


    - ¡°Sir, sir, it¡¯s okay. Calm down. You don¡¯t cause us trouble. I promise.¡± ¨C Kio put his reassuring paw on my shoulder. I hadn¡¯t noticed how cold I was, or how much I was sweating, or how the air was constantly leaving me as I tried to get it to stay. I couldn¡¯t breathe - but I was breathing too much. The world was getting blurry - was I going blind? No, no. Is fine. Is fine. It¡¯s fine.


    - ¡°Y-Yes. I¡­ God, I was so stupid. You were right I-. I knew. I knew it wasn¡¯t safe. I knew it. I¡¯m a stranger, I just came to cause trouble, to fuel a war. They were right to try to get rid of me. I can¡¯t ignore that I¡¯m seen as a light that will guide them to doom. Maybe- Maybe I should-¡±


    - ¡°Sir-¡±


    - ¡°I should have let them take me.¡±


    - ¡°Von! Sir, please. I¡¯m just¡­ glad you are safe. Please.¡±


    - ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ I¡¯m sorry. Yes, it¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll get ready.¡±


    Kio left the room, saying he would bring me breakfast. Loe, who had stayed silent until now, immediately started helping me dress up, much to my dismay.


    To be fair, I was so exhausted that I went to sleep with my clothes on; my body ached so much, I didn¡¯t refuse the help.


    This outfit also seemed quite tricky to put on.


    A blue robe with a leather belt ¨C or corset? -, a dark undershirt, and a lot of golden details. A uniform.


    - ¡°Does it feel uncomfortable anywhere? Any part that doesn¡¯t fit?¡±


    - ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s good. It¡¯s comfy.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m glad. The robe was a women¡¯s, so the tailor was worried the cut might bother you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­This is a mage uniform.¡±


    - ¡°Yes.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Why am I wearing a mage uniform?¡±


    - ¡°Well, it was requested.¡±


    - ¡°But I¡¯m not a mage.¡±


    - ¡°Wait, they didn¡¯t tell you?¡±


    And just as she was about to continue, Daien entered the room.


    - ¡°Hello.¡± ¨C Daien greeted us, carrying her staff with her. ¨C ¡°Von, you¡¯re late.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Huh- Hi.¡±


    Kio came in right after her.


    - ¡°Sir-. Lady Daien found me, and kind of- wouldn¡¯t stop asking to come see you-¡­¡± ¨C He looked confused for a second, eyeing me. Then suddenly ¨C ¡°Ah! I brought breakfast¡± ¨C his tail started wagging.


    - ¡°You brought food for like four people, Kio-¡±


    - ¡°Well, I thought I¡¯d accompany you with a little snack.¡±


    He started placing the trays on the bed. Loe, who was still by my side, ruffled my hair and whispered gently, as if to not interrupt the inexistent conversation.


    - ¡°Eat well, you¡¯ll need it for your first magic class. Lady Daien will probably tell you about it, so I¡¯ll take my leave.¡± ¨C And then, she went back to her normal tone. - ¡°If there is anything you need, just ask, sir.¡±


    - ¡°Magi- Of course. Of course.¡± ¨C I started mumbling while sitting on the side of the bed. When I noticed that Daien was still standing - even after Loe left - I called her over to sit next to me. Kio grabbed the same chair he used during the morning. We had our make-do bed picnic. I apologized internally to Loe, since we were probably going to get crumbs on the carpet.


    - ¡°We are late - I¡¯m late because of you, Von.¡± ¨C Daien pouted as she sat down, pulling my sleeve.


    - ¡°Sorry, sorry. But- let¡¯s eat something first. Did you have breakfast already?¡±


    - ¡°No, I was waiting for you.¡±


    - ¡°Ah. Then let¡¯s eat together.¡±


    - ¡°Uh¡­ Oki¡­ Just for a second.¡±


    She grabbed a sandwich, one of the many. Apparently, Kio just loved sandwiches. I had some tea to start. It tasted like cinnamon¡­


    ¡®¡­ Maybe I¡¯ll make an apple pie tomorrow.¡¯


    It went on to be a chatty, cozy morning. A nice way to start what seemed to be a long, long day. Minutes flew by with silly conversation - mostly just Kio telling us about his life here.


    - ¡°¡­so, that¡¯s how I ended up appointed as a soldier! I owe it to the Captain. He had a lot of faith in me, so he supported my involvement, even when I had no experience in the battlefield.¡±


    - ¡°Right, you were fighting during the first half of the war-¡± - I mumbled while doing a chomp. Heheh. Chomp.


    - ¡°Yes, personally escorting the Queen.¡±


    - ¡°Wait - why would the Queen be on the battlefield?¡±


    - ¡°Courtesy, I guess? It¡¯s a tradition for the rulers to guide the soldiers. Something about it being disrespectful to the opponent if they weren¡¯t there.¡±


    - ¡°I can¡¯t get a hold of all the traditions¡­ Wait- The Captain said something about replacing swords after a battle- Is that also something-¡­¡±


    - ¡°Yeah. In the central region it¡¯s common during battles to bury people with the weapons they were killed with, when possible. If you killed someone with your weapon, you have to leave it behind, or you might end up cursed, since their soul will know it was you who murdered them.¡±


    - ¡°¡­So they just drop all the weapons after a battle is over? Leave them there? Just like that?¡±


    - ¡°Yes. It is also part of the reason we have a forensics team alongside the medics. Quite the curious thing.¡±


    Daien grew tired of the conversation at this point, pulling my sleeve again.


    - ¡°Von, we are late.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, right.¡±


    - ¡°Mizuen said he wouldn¡¯t stop until he saw you holding your own staff.¡± ¨C She sounded almost worried about it, not letting go of my sleeve.


    - ¡°So he was the one who- Agh. Alright. Let¡¯s go. He won¡¯t let me skip on this, anyways.¡±


    Kio was quick to reassure.


    - ¡°Sir, I think he just wants you, who happens to have a talent for magic, to train enough to protect yourself on the battlefield.¡±


    - ¡°Kio-. I¡¯m not pissed just because he wants me to learn magic. I¡¯m pissed because he never asks before doing anything! I never have a say in it!¡±


    - ¡°Ah¡­ Yes, yes that¡¯s fair. I¡¯m sorry, sir.¡±


    While Kio left with the empty trays, I was finishing my newfound morning routine. Daien grabbed my hand this time, looking down.


    - ¡°Did I make you mad?¡±


    - ¡°Wha- No, no. Your brother is a bit annoying, that¡¯s all. You didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡±


    - ¡°You sure?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s all oki-doki.¡±


    - ¡°All oki-doki!¡±


    We laughed on our way out, walking together, later joined by Kio. She didn¡¯t let go of my hand, even as we climbed into the carriage. I didn¡¯t mind. Her presence was warm and calming. She was like a cup of tea after a snowy night, with the first rays of the sun reflecting on the ice crystals. Which reminded me that, back home, winter should be starting soon.


    Would my mom be alright without me? Winters were awful for her; seasonal depression and arthritis don¡¯t go well together. Was she lonely? I knew my sister would take care of her, but she had her own life too. Her own family, her job-. She wouldn¡¯t be able to take my mom for walks at the beach or make sure she took her meds. She already had a child with immunodeficiency to take care of.Stolen story; please report.


    I listed the oh-so-many things I was neglecting by not being there. The many responsibilities I was taken away from. Even if it was something small, like leaving a comment on every video from a channel of a really small youtuber I liked ¨C or something big, like making sure my mom was as healthy as possible, or supporting one of my friends through her traumatic break-up.


    It felt like holding a bag - a bag full of stormy water, spilling all over the place. Such a mess, that I couldn¡¯t even think of a better metaphor.


    I failed to ignore my ever-present anxiety, looking out at a lively noon from the carriage window. Watching people go on with their lives. I wasn¡¯t inspired by it today, but jealous. Purely jealous. The unfairness of my fate was eating me up - because I wasn¡¯t there for others. It would have been nice if, at least, I was able to be bitter for myself. For my own pain and mourning.


    But everyone else weighed heavier in my heart.


    At least those were people I truly cared about, I told myself.


    - ¡°... Tengo que volver pronto.¡±


    - ¡°Huh?¡± ¨C Silencing my internal ramblings, Daien interrogated me - by pressing her face really close to me, actually.


    - ¡°¡­Nothing, I just¡­ I really need to go back home.¡±


    - ¡°Oh¡­ Uh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Mm?¡±


    - ¡°But¡­ Mizuen told me we weren¡¯t able to find a way.¡±


    - ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..?¡±


    - ¡°Uhh¡­ You can¡¯t go back to your world. We don¡¯t know how to do that.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Oh¡­ Uh¡­¡±


    I laid there in my seat, feeling as though both time and the carriage had stopped, letting the words wash down - just like the water in the bag. Daien didn¡¯t let go of my hand, even when she moved away.


    I was calmer than I expected, though.


    It was assumed, it was easy to see coming. I congratulated myself for not being disappointed by the obvious truth.


    Then again, one could only handle so much before the light leaves their eyes.


    Kio opened the small window behind the driver¡¯s seat to talk to us.


    - ¡°Sir, the flea market is already up, so we have to take a detour. We¡¯ll take a bit longer.¡±


    - ¡°Uhuh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sir? Are you okay?¡±


    - ¡°Eh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sir- You look- What happened?¡± ¨C He turned to look, muzzle almost hitting the window frame.


    - ¡°I can¡¯t go back home.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Oh.¡±


    - ¡°Kio I can¡¯t go back home.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes sir, I heard you-¡±


    - ¡°I can¡¯t go back home¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sir- Uh¡­ Let¡¯s talk about this later, y-yes? I¡¯m sorry- I¡¯m a bit- I need to pay attention to the road-¡±


    - ¡°Sure¡­¡±


    He was in a hurry, as expected of a driver.


    Daien pet me, out of nowhere, as I kept sulking in my seat.


    - ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Von. We will keep searching. There is still a lot to research.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you, Daien. But it¡¯s fine. I had assumed this is what would happen.¡±


    - ¡°I promise we will find a way. There is a lot Mizuen and I don¡¯t know about magic.¡±


    - ¡°Ah¡­ Yes, that¡¯s true. There is still stuff to discover. I should do my part and help too.¡±


    - ¡°Yup! So you have to pay attention while I teach you.¡±


    - ¡°You¡¯ll teach me?¡±


    - ¡°Yup! Mizuen said I was the best for you. He said I did a good job helping you!¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yup! You were really helpful.¡± - Pat pat pat.- ¡°Then, I¡¯ll be glad. Thank you for taking the time.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s oki. I don¡¯t have much to do anyways. I just do magic.¡±


    - ¡°Yes, that makes me wonder- Daien, what do you do in the Court?... Ah- I didn¡¯t mean to sound rude, I¡¯m just curious.¡±


    - ¡°Well, Dad said I should be there. So I¡¯m there. They talk about the war and so, but¡­ Uhh¡­ How to say it¡­¡±


    - ¡°Mnh?¡±


    - ¡°I feel like I never know what to do. So I¡¯d rather not say anything. If I say something stupid, the Director¡¯s gonna get mad.¡±


    - ¡°Oh¡­ I feel that. I was so nervous the other day- I felt like the Count was going to beat me up-¡±


    - ¡°Right? The Director is just really mean-¡±


    Time passed like waves, a stream of air. I started playing around with the sleeves of my new uniform.


    I consciously ignored the life sentence that had been imposed upon me, and kept focusing on talking to her. Her calming presence, the warm spring air, the lively voices of the crowd far away as the carriage finally left the city¡­


    It was going to be fine, yes.


    Anticipation built up for no reason, as the Academy grew larger and larger in the distance, until I noticed the ride had ended. After we stepped off the carriage, at the edge of the yole tree¡¯s shadow, Kio brought it to the barracks.


    We circled the darkened borders, just like everyone else - it was just the time for students to have their lunch break, a pleasant meal under the sun. They didn¡¯t approach us, as one would expect, but their curious eyes were sharp and painful.


    Daien guided me inside the building - through giant varnished doors that revealed a beautiful corridor, purple and blue opening to each hall in the building. Condecorated with paintings that served as markers, the ceiling colored in an eternal mosaic of a starry sky ¨C it all guided towards the golden carpet in front of the stairs. It laid there, marked with Argatha¡¯s emblem: the ron-k¨®n. A majestic bird that was said to reflect the rays of the sun on its feathers. On the shield, it said: tasto va ra unis¨ªma Aragatia. Such was Argatha¡¯s original name.


    The beautiful stairs guided us across many equally beautiful floors, each ceiling decorated with a different time of the day. Finally arrived at the fourth floor, a beautiful mosaic sun greeted us, the visitors. Daien, who hadn¡¯t let go of my hand until now, went ahead and knocked on the door at the end of the hall. The Director¡¯s office.


    A noise informed us that we were allowed to enter. It was to my surprise (despite knowing) that Count Latrei was the one within the room, lunch half-finished. I looked at Daien, confused, but she just let go of my hand. My only support gone, I felt defenseless against the incessant drumming that resonated throughout my body.


    - ¡°Director, I brought him.¡±


    - ¡°First you say good evening. But thank you. Von, right? Sit down. I hope you are alright. I heard rumors of what happened yesterday.¡±


    Count Latrei¡¯s rose gold hair gleamed with the light from the window behind him, making his figure seem more mystical than expected. Such a benevolent tone for the man I only knew to complain and berate.


    I sat down in silence.


    - ¡°You look confused¡­ but that¡¯s to be expected. You haven¡¯t been told why you are here for, I assume?¡± - I felt my muscles tense up, almost jumping from my seat. - ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it''s just a simple test.¡± ¨C He continued, setting his lunch aside.


    - ¡°¡­Well¡­ I¡¯m- I¡¯m not- I didn¡¯t even know I had to come see you in the first place-¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes. That¡¯s a bad habit of Mizuen¡¯s. I apologize on his behalf, since I was the one who allowed this to happen. He said it was a waste to not have you learn the fundamentals of magic, even if you didn¡¯t meet the qualifications to join the Academy.¡±


    - ¡°And you let him¡­?¡±


    - ¡°I told him he was allowed, as long as he took care of the proper paperwork and assigned you a qualified tutor that was not troubled by the schedule. I should have assumed that he had plans for everything already.¡±


    - ¡°But I¡¯m a- I don¡¯t- Doesn¡¯t it take years to master?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, surely. But you are not incompetent at all. It¡¯s easy to see that you, who managed to learn the basics of a language well enough in no more than a few days, and who displayed an understanding of the basis of magic by creating a turbulence that would take years to be able to produce, are capable of great things.¡±


    - ¡°Ah...No, no. You think too highly of me, sir. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be of any use anyways-.¡±


    - ¡°I just speak the facts, young man. I¡­ I wish you weren¡¯t of use - you are just a child. If possible, I wouldn¡¯t send a child to war, much less one who cannot fight. But you, against my best wishes, are being sent to the battlefield, just like my students. So are many of the citizens of my region, as well as my co-workers and friends. Because we haven¡¯t- because we weren¡¯t able to accept surrender. So I want those who will fight to be as prepared as possible. I wish you weren¡¯t of use so you wouldn¡¯t have to suffer that fate, but we don¡¯t have that privilege.¡±


    - ¡°Sir-¡­ You are more considerate than I expected.¡±


    - ¡°I like to do my job properly. It¡¯s my pride to be competent.¡±


    - ¡°You sure are passionate about it huh-¡±


    - ¡°And so should you. May we start the test?¡±


    - ¡°T-Test- What¡¯s the test about?¡±


    - ¡°Nothing big. It¡¯s just the basic one, but you¡¯ll only be doing the practical part. I don¡¯t think that studying theory at the same level as other students will help; a mind that has been in a completely different society has a different perception of things. I think that should be preserved.¡±


    - ¡°So¡­¡±


    - ¡°Your affinity is wind, yes?¡±


    - ¡°M-Maybe? I don¡¯t know.¡±


    - ¡°Make this little ball¡± ¨C he placed a wooden ball in front of me, perfectly round and shiny ¨C ¡°float. It might seem simple, but it takes quite the amount of effort and control.¡±


    - ¡°I haven¡¯t used magic since then, I don¡¯t think-¡°


    - ¡°Here.¡± ¨C The Count handed me a pair of gloves and a twig. No, a wand; brown and white ramifications blending into each other across the slightly worn out middle. ¨C ¡°In case you don¡¯t know, these branches help amplify the energy all living things exude.¡±


    - ¡°I thought so¡­ It felt like that last time.¡±


    - ¡°Don¡¯t hold it for too long barehanded. Put on the gloves. The wood feeds off that energy, you don¡¯t want it to grow. It will debilitate you until death if it has the chance.¡±


    What a grim announcement. I almost dropped the wand.


    Finally equipped, I closed my eyes to try and focus. Far away, four stories away from the grounding of the dirt, the breeze, and the leaves.


    Daien whispered to me.


    - ¡°Control comes from inside, they say. Don¡¯t control the energy. Control yourself.¡±


    I tried to make sense of those words, as the room grew darker and darker in my view.


    The warmth of life moved around the tips of my fingers, brushed my cheeks, tickled my forehead. It wound itself around me like a serpent, and it left me like a bird, leaving no more than its shadow of a breeze.


    I held my breath as the wooden ball slowly started to float. I felt tingles on my palm. It was agonizingly strange. Like it went numb, yet it craved release. I felt my flesh pleading to leave my bones bare. A restlessness that wouldn¡¯t let me concentrate. A feeling I was barely accustomed to, yet knew well.


    When the mind tries to leave the body, the body tries to leave itself too. That¡¯s how it felt.


    The ball fell flat on the table before dropping to the floor with a thud. With just a few seconds, I was sweating, cold, and gasping for air. An eternity in suspension left me weakened.


    Latrei offered me a glass of water.


    - ¡°How do you feel? It was less than optimal, but this was quite literally your second time using magic. It must have been exhausting.¡±


    - ¡°I feel like¡­ I feel like I want to rip off my skin.¡±


    - ¡°¡­¡­.That¡¯s quite¡­ the statement. Then there is a lot of practice to be done.¡±


    - ¡°¡­That means?¡±


    - ¡°You pass by the bare minimum. Consider this a token of apology, for having my student cause you such trouble.¡±


    - ¡°What an honorable man you are, Count. But you shouldn¡¯t be paying for him.¡± ¨C Be it that my own exhaustion made me bitter, but there was a lot I wanted to say to Mizuen at that moment. Not that I would dare.


    - ¡°Had I done something when I could, maybe Mizuen would be different. But his ambition is too high. I¡¯ll take the blame, as his mentor.¡±


    - ¡°I thought Io was his mentor.¡±


    - ¡°Not quite. I think ¡®parental figure¡¯ fits the label bet- wait. We aren¡¯t here to talk about that. Don¡¯t distract me.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Sorry.¡±


    The Count ¨C or should I say, the Director ¨C started searching inside a drawer. He got out a little roll of white fabric, tied with a golden ribbon.


    - ¡°Stand.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes.¡±


    Even though I was shaking, the Count¡¯s absolute order made me stand without even realizing it. He walked towards me with such grace, such elegance. I was so far away from him.


    The Count¡¯s poise was a vision I couldn¡¯t reach.


    I wish I had taken more time to look at him.


    All I remember is that¡­ he looked so tired¡­


    The little white roll ended up being almost like a tie. A long, triangular slice of soft fabric, with Argatha¡¯s emblem. A golden border at the end, and a diamond-shaped pin at the top.


    - ¡°This is your mage license. I hereby declare you, Von, with my authority as Director of the Academy of Aragatian Arts, an official mage, under all the accorded exceptions applied to your case. You have been assigned the special rank of black diamond, thereby declaring you are not traditionally fit for a license - despite my declaration.¡±


    He pressed the pin against my chest like a button. It clicked into a slot under the golden leaves holding the tunic up to my shoulders.


    A newfound sense of pride filled me, much to my surprise, as the Director smiled ever so slightly.


    - ¡°Now, go and make me proud. I¡¯m not the only one who saw something in you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Thank you.¡±


    - ¡°No, Von. It was due to our incompetence that you were forced to participate in all this. You shouldn¡¯t thank me. I may not recognize you as fit for your position as a tactician, nor yet assume you¡¯re loyal to our cause, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m not aware we are at fault.¡±


    - ¡°Sir-. I was the one who insisted at first that I wanted to try magic. Had I not done that, Mizuen wouldn¡¯t have considered this.¡±


    - ¡°I suppose¡­ But even then, the way you have been dragged along is not proper at all. Ah, a reminder - or not, since you might not know. While this license allows you to use magic outside of the Academy, this is normally not earned until you have completed your studies. That¡¯s why you have the black diamond, it means this is an exception. Also, you need to have your license visible at all times - it¡¯s required by law. Even more in your case. You are still no more than a student, but there is no way for us to adapt the course for you. You have less than a year, and need a different education.¡±


    - ¡°I wonder how much paperwork was needed for this¡­¡± ¨C I mumbled, holding the license up to admire the emblem.


    - ¡°Quite the amount. You should thank the princess for all the work she did.¡±


    - ¡°The princess?¡± ¨C I was surprised the Director was able to hear me, but the answer was more striking than that.


    - ¡°Yes. Amongst their many responsibilities, both her and Mizuen were the ones that dealt with the bureaucratic paperwork needed for you to stay. I assume no word of it reached you?¡±


    - ¡°Now that you say it, sir, I never had to do anything related to that-¡­¡±


    - ¡°Indeed. The fact you were allowed to enter the Court¡¯s room, appointed to your position, or able to study magic. Even being considered a citizen, by all means, took a lot of paperwork. But looking at your state the first days you were here, I understand why they didn¡¯t want to burden you with it. I, myself, added to the stress you hold.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Ah¡­ Uh¡­ Ah, Director, shouldn¡¯t you finish your lunch?¡±


    - ¡°¡­? Yes, yes I should. Since that¡¯s done, you are free to go. Thanks for bringing him, Daien. And for taking him under your care.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s all oki, Director. I¡¯ll do my best!¡± ¨C Daien pet me once again. I hadn¡¯t noticed that she never sat down. ¨C ¡°Uh¡­ We! We¡¯ll do our best.¡±


    - ¡°I know you will. Take care.¡± ¨C The Director turned to me, grabbing his (now cold) lunch once again. ¨C ¡°Feel free to explore the Academy. From what I heard from Mizuen, you seem to be quite the avid reader, am I wrong? Our resources are open for you, as they are for any student.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes- Uh¡­ Thank you. We¡¯ll be leaving now, then¡­?¡±


    He just bowed slightly as we left the room.


    Daien was holding my hand again as she dragged me downstairs, passing the students that were going back to their classes. It was hard to believe that an hour had already gone by.


    We headed outside, towards a now cloudy spring day. Towards the yole tree.

 12 - Diamonds in the rough

    Daien took me next to the yole tree, a place no one seemed to approach. There, under its yellow foliage, I noticed the strange arrangement of branches that seemed to bloom from the dirt. Like an arrangement of muscular tissue, twirling over itself in a static permanence - the tree was built of many as one, like a unit that could fall apart at any second.


    The roots of each little branch were white, circling and twirling towards the trunk - an ashy brown. At the highest branches, burnt black lines traveled between the leaves. The tree¡¯s pale colors and strange structure gave it an alien stance. The feeling of a twisted corpse.


    Corpses.


    There were dead bugs resting at its roots; none of them were craved by the living. They stayed there, carcasses intact, letting the dirt claim them. There were birds nested amongst the many branches, but almost none of them sang. The multitude of creatures that inhabited the tree had no voice.


    Laying on their deathbed, the yole tree shone as brightly as ever.


    - ¡°Von.¡± ¨C Daien let go of my hand to hold her staff properly.


    - ¡°Yes?¡±


    - ¡°This is a yole tree.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yeah.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s dangerous.¡±


    - ¡°I assumed so.¡±


    - ¡°We need to get a branch from it. So choose one.¡±


    - ¡°Wait- Wait- Take it slow. Why do we need to take a branch?¡±


    - ¡°For your staff.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Can¡¯t I get one like- from the training bunch or something?¡±


    - ¡°All mages make their own staves! You need to start now so it¡¯s done soon!¡±


    - ¡°¡­Alright. But aren¡¯t we supposed to not touch them with our bare hands?¡±


    - ¡°I was going to get the branch for you.¡±


    - ¡°I mean- It¡¯s a staff, I¡¯ll have to carve it.¡±


    - ¡°Gloves, of course! Use gloves! Now choose a branch!¡±


    I stared at the tree, trying to choose the right one. One that wasn¡¯t too high up, nor too heavy, and that was straight enough. And Daien, well-. She just climbed to get it, despite the clear fact that she shouldn¡¯t be touching the tree directly.


    Even if she was rather chubby, she had no trouble moving around. It was almost surprising how she just went and chopped off a tree branch, without even letting go of her own staff. I guess I had forgotten that she was a mage and, by definition, had trained to be a soldier.


    On the floor again, branch in hand, she smiled and led me to the back of the Academy. On the way, I fixed her hair and brushed the leaves and dirt out of her clothes. What a pleasant pair of minutes.


    The workshop was as one would expect. A picturesque little shack full of tools and training gear. Spare uniforms, staves, gloves, woodworking knives, and so on. The dust was accumulating from lack of use ¨C as Daien told me, the first years had their classes delayed due to the war, so they still haven¡¯t started to work on their staves.


    - ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve done any woodworking in a while.¡±


    - ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll help you.¡± ¨C Daien said, while gathering a few tools. ¨C ¡°But the most important thing is to feel the movement of the wood. The wood will tell you how it wants to look.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I don¡¯t think I caught that¡­ But I¡¯ll figure it out.¡±


    I grabbed a pair of spare gloves so we could start smoothing out the wood. It had a strange feeling - like it was soft and easily malleable, despite the branch being tough and stable enough to work as a cane. It was similar to a willow branch when you touched it.


    The aforementioned yole branch was roughly the size of my arm, just like Daien¡¯s staff. Knowing that she carved it herself - the white wood turning into perfectly sharp diamond shaped disks ¨C I felt compelled to admire her hard work.


    - ¡°Did you make these too?¡± ¨C I pointed at the diamond-shaped hairpins she wore.


    - ¡°Yup! But they are made with regular wood. Dad taught me, and it¡¯s a lot of fun. I like to make instruments too.¡±


    - ¡°Oh! Is it alright if I see them one day?¡±


    - ¡°I can teach you to make some! Want to learn?¡±


    - ¡°Sure- If I can manage with practice first, we-¡±


    We heard some clanking outside, and the door of the shack suddenly opened.


    - ¡°Hi, hey, can you get me- Oh, Dai!¡± ¨C A tall person with a ponytail, tan skin, and full armor. They stood by the door and waved at us with a smile. ¨C ¡°Oooh, so that¡¯s the guy from another world. Heyo.¡±


    Daien waved at them without answering. The stranger just walked inside and kept talking.


    - ¡°I¡¯m Minerva, by the way. And you? Ah, pass me a pair of gloves, they¡¯re right behind you. No, not those, the small ones. They are for milady. Uhhh no, those are dirty. I don¡¯t think milady would like them. Lemme- move a bit, I¡¯ll look.¡±


    Minerva gently moved me aside, chair and all. I barely had a chance to answer her.


    - ¡°Ah, huh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Got the gloves. Ah, you¡¯re carving your staff already? With those noodle arms, too.¡±


    - ¡°Can I like- answer? I mean, you talk too loudl-¡±


    - ¡°Ah, sorry, sorry. Out there is noisy so I¡¯m used- Anyways. Your turn.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m Von, nice to meet you.¡±


    - ¡°Ah¨¢, well done! You finally said it!¡± - She wasn¡¯t being sarcastic or anything. She was just genuinely cheering me on, patting my back and all. ¨C ¡°So, so. I heard you¡¯ve got cool magic. Can I see?¡±


    I looked at Daien, hoping she would answer for me.


    - ¡°That¡¯s a good idea, Von. If Minerva is here, Renime is here too. She is really talented, so she can give you feedback.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Daien, I think I¡¯m fine- I don¡¯t think I¡¯m ready for that-¡±


    - ¡°It will be fine, Von. Renime is a good girl. Minerva is also a good girl.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Fine. I trust you, so.¡±


    My to-be staff was left aside in a corner. I grabbed one of the spare ones, and we left the little shack. The evening sun was hidden - it had gotten cloudy in the few minutes I wasn¡¯t looking at it. Maybe with some luck, I wished, I would live my first rain in another world. A spring shower.


    - ¡°So Renime is that ¡®milady¡¯ of yours?¡± ¨C I asked Minerva, fidgeting with my mage license.


    - ¡°Yes- Renime Meilar. Haven¡¯t you heard of her?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Mei¡­Meilar¡­As in Duke Meilar?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Yeah. She¡¯s his daughter!¡±


    - ¡°Oh-¡±


    Daien, who was once again holding my hand, whispered to me with a silly smile.


    - ¡°Renime is the Prince¡¯s fianc¨¦e.¡±


    - ¡°O-Oh.¡±


    Minerva patted my back again, making my whole body resound.


    - ¡°You¡¯ll like her! She¡¯s a real cutie. But don¡¯t eye her too much. Renime is suuuuper mad in love with the Prince, so.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I see.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, but don¡¯t tell her I said that! She would get mad at me!¡± ¨C Minerva¡¯s smile was strangely bright. Pure and sincere, with a hint of mischief. A transparent person. That¡¯s how she seemed to me.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    A few moments later we arrived at where the second-year students ¨C alongside the recruits - were training. It felt weird to wear the same uniform as them. Then I looked at Minerva again.


    - ¡°W-Wait, you are a mage too?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah- You didn¡¯t notice? There is clearly a uniform under my armor.¡±


    - ¡°Is just- I thought mages didn¡¯t wear armor.¡±


    - ¡°Normally, yeah. But I like swinging a halberd around more than I like throwing punches. It¡¯s more fun.¡±


    - ¡°F-Fun, you say¡­¡±


    - ¡°Ah, come on. If you are gonna be on the battlefield, it¡¯s better to enjoy it as much as possible.¡±


    - ¡°Y-You went to war too?¡±


    - ¡°No, no! I¡¯m only a second year! Third years and above are the only ones allowed to fight. But there is a rumor that we might get an early promotion! So maybe when the war resumes, I can go and get some action.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­Is nice that you are optimistic about it, I guess¡­¡±


    - ¡°Then again, I think Dai also didn¡¯t go to war? You had to take care of the regulations and all, right?¡±


    - ¡°¡­It was a lot of paperwork.¡± ¨C Daien sounded¡­defeated. ¨C ¡°I don¡¯t want to do that again¡­ But the Director says I have to do my part¡­¡±


    Mid-ramble, a tiny girl approached us. She walked high and mighty, furrowed eyebrows pointing at us. Her uniform was more of a dress than a robe, royal blue contrasting against the crowd. A skirt of soft, pastel red blossomed around her, floating and jumping like a flower bud carried by the wind. Its fairytalesque elegance declared her superiority.


    It was easy to see she was the Duke¡¯s daughter ¨C they shared the dark red hair and slightly pointy ears. But I was stunned after noticing her dark magenta eyes. It reminded me, once again, that this was a different world.


    - ¡°Minerva! Come on, give me the gloves!¡±


    - ¡°Yes, milady, here they are. The smallest size I could find.¡±


    - ¡°Thanks. I can¡¯t believe I los-¡­Daien! Hiiii!¡± ¨C Apparently, she hadn¡¯t noticed us.


    - ¡°Hello. Are you okay? Your hands are red.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m fine, just sparring. Pincoy set my gloves on fire by accident.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, alright. Be careful though.¡±


    - ¡°Wait she burned her hands-¡° ¨C I tried to say.


    - ¡°I will, Daien! Don¡¯t worry! I¡¯m totes, totes fine.¡± ¨C But Renime spoke extra loudly.


    - ¡°Well, milady- Care to go against me next?¡±


    - ¡°Without the halberd - you need to practice projecting more.¡±


    I was blatantly ignored. It didn¡¯t feel that bad, to be honest.


    They almost walked away, but Daien remembered I existed.


    - ¡°Renime-. Can you spar with Von too?¡±


    - ¡°Who?¡±


    - ¡°Him, the-¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t see anyone! I don¡¯t see any husband snatchers!¡±


    - ¡°Milady, that¡¯s-¡±


    - ¡°A~ny~ways. Let¡¯s go. Let¡¯s gooooo!¡± ¨C So, Renime walked away, towards the improvised arena they had on the patio. Minerva followed her, and I had the luck of watching them spar. A knight in full armor going melee against a girl that looked like a small and fragile princess.


    They placed themselves inside the small circle marked on the ground.


    After Minerva gave her heavy first step forward, Renime charged. A punch from the right was directed at her ribs, but she redirected it with her staff.


    There was an explosive flow around her, melding with her bloodstream and flooding the tips of her fingers. A river of light that felt as visible as air. Renime knew exactly when and how to use it to make herself ever-so-slightly faster, just enough to get the job done. And once her fingers caught a glance of Minerva¡¯s armor, the river extended towards it. It twirled and curled over itself like a creeping vine. The slight sight of an opposing flow, Minerva¡¯s answer, was quickly extinguished by the gleam of the dominating roots.


    Minerva pushed Renime aside at the right moment, making her fall down. But the armor that covered her right arm was starting to glow from the heat ¨C the flow of energy wasn¡¯t severed, even if Renime was away from her. It was no more than half a minute, and it was already over.


    - ¡°Aight, aight! I give up!¡± ¨C Minerva threw her burning glove to the floor. Renime got up like it was nothing, her face dirty. The stream of energy showed that she was cooling down the steel.


    - ¡°You won¡¯t be able to win if you don¡¯t try.¡± ¨C She smiled at the soldier.


    - ¡°I did try! I¡¯m just not that good all that fast stuff!¡±


    - ¡°Then try harder.¡± ¨C Such a blunt statement made Minerva laugh and pat her on the back. Renime moved aside while Minerva put her glove back on.


    It was surprising to say, how someone smaller than me could do that well. She wasn¡¯t especially muscular nor anything. She just seemed to be extremely smart in how she used her magic.


    Minerva sat down with a smile on her face while other students used the circle. They were all fired up after watching, even to the point some were yelling as they threw punches.


    Renime was trying to clean her dress while glaring at me (yeah, at the same time).


    - ¡°How was that, cheater? Oh, but I bet you can do so much better, right?¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ I really don¡¯t know why you are so ma-¡±


    - ¡°Oh, you know why! Every time I come to spend time with Arsa he just talks about you!¡±


    - ¡°I-¡±


    - ¡°He just goes on and on- ¡®Ren, the other day he let me touch his hair!¡¯ ¡®Ren, I was able to talk to him!¡¯ ¡®Ren, he is so cute!¡¯ Like I care!!¡±


    I felt the blood rush to my head, everyone was looking at us now.


    It was such a foreign concept, to think that Arsamira talks about me. But to think he was saying these kinds of things - and not only that, but saying them to his fianc¨¦e!


    Oh goodness.


    If second-hand embarrassment could kill, I would be on my fifth life already.


    - ¡°Well, I had no idea he thought like that!¡±


    - ¡°Then stop being all lovey - dovey with him!¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m not even-! He¡¯s a prick! Why would I like him!?¡±


    - ¡°Well! He¡¯s handsome, and  charismatic, and a prince!


    And his smile is beautiful and he¡¯s so kind and sweet and-!¡±


    - ¡°He¡¯s an inconsiderate idiot who doesn¡¯t even know how to apologize!¡±


    - ¡°You take that back! My Arsa is the most chivalrous-¡±


    -¡°You two really should tone it down, shouldn¡¯t you?¡±


    Arsamira was right next to us with a silly, embarrassed smile. He put a hand on our shoulders and looked at the students, who quickly turned around and pretended to not see anything.


    Daien held my hand in hers, looking strangely sad. Worried, maybe.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry Arsa, I¡­¡± ¨C Renime was the first to apologize.


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. I¡¯m sorry I bored you with my comments. I¡¯ll make sure to not let it happen again.¡± ¨C The prince smiled at her before turning to me. ¨C ¡°And, well-¡±


    - ¡°So you actually know how to apologize.¡±


    - ¡°Eh- V-Von?¡±


    - ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that, Arsamira. You know damn well why I¡¯m pissed.¡±


    - ¡°I don- W-What?¡±


    I thought for a second, staring as his dumbfounded face. I had the choice to go on a full-on rant in front of him and make a scene, or to save it for later and not embarrass him in front of a bunch of students and his fianc¨¦e.


    I took a deep breath, and focused on Daien¡¯s hands. She was nervous already, there was no need to make it worse.


    - ¡°Nothing.¡± ¨C Sigh. ¨C ¡°Sorry. Why are you here?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, well! I had come to see how you did on the test, but seeing how you¡¯ve got your license, congratulations!¡±


    - ¡°Uh¡­ Thank you.¡±


    - ¡°And me, Arsa? Did you see me? Wasn¡¯t I really cool back then?¡± ¨C Renime took his hand with the biggest lovestruck smile I¡¯ve ever seen.


    - ¡°Yes, yes, you did very well too. I¡¯m proud of you, Ren.¡± ¨C But Arsamira just smiled and pet her softly.


    Things were too¡­ awkward at the moment, so I just¡­ walked away with Daien. The day was getting darker and darker, calling for a storm rather than a light rain.


    We sat on the grass, huddled together against the slightly violent wind. She, who never let go of my hand, kept looking at the floor.


    - ¡°Daien-¡±


    - ¡°Uh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sorry for earlier.¡±


    - ¡°Are you mad?¡±


    - ¡°A tad bit. But not with you.¡±


    - ¡°I was also¡­ One of the ones that brought you here.¡±


    - ¡°I know, but you haven¡¯t done anything bad.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ But I knew what we were doing. Brother asked me if I could help them. I didn¡¯t want the prince or him¡­ to be so worried¡­ And I know, too. That if we don¡¯t fight, we-¡­ We are just going to get killed. All of us¡­¡±


    - ¡°D-Daien-¡­ Well, yes. It¡¯s probably true.¡±


    - ¡°It is. I¡¯ve read stories from the other continent. There on Balanka, many ethnic groups disappeared. I just thought¡­ If Zeliram has contact with Balanka, they might as well also push for genocide on us too!¡±


    Ah, so it¡¯s not that different here, in the end. Should¡¯ve guessed that by now.


    - ¡°I can¡¯t just say that¡­ Brother said I shouldn¡¯t. That I would just get the Court unnecessarily angry. That they don¡¯t take me seriously.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I get his point, thought. He doesn¡¯t want the backlash of telling all those things to the Court, or pushing for the use of questionable methods. So¡­ the reason I¡¯m here is to do that.¡±


    - ¡°No, no-. You are here to help. You are here to help us. Only for that.¡±


    - ¡°Daien¡­¡±


    - ¡°Okay? Don¡¯t push yourself just because brother asks you to. Please.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I won¡¯t. Don¡¯t worry.¡±


    - ¡°You promise?¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡­ I don¡¯t think I can promise that, Daien.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Oki. But if they are bullying you too much, you can come to me. I¡¯ll fight them.¡±


    I smiled at her and ruffled her hair. What a lovely, precious girl. She leaned on my shoulder, with that sad look on her face. She started picking up pieces of grass on impulse.


    Arsamira and co. joined us not long after telling the students to go home. Renime wasn¡¯t clinging to him anymore, but she still directed a bitter glare at me.


    Minerva - who was still laughing at the discussion we had before - and I decided to head for the shack so I could get my to-be staff, and to return the gloves.


    Soon enough I noticed my dilemma. So, I kept my gloves, no other way to carry my staff.


    Both of us alone, I looked at Minerva, who was bright and cheerful. She was tall, dependable, and strong. It felt like she was everything I couldn¡¯t be for the kingdom. If they had people like this, it was no wonder that I disappointed Arsamira so much. When they have so many heroes already, what were they expecting of me?


    I slapped my cheek.


    ¡®Stop thinking, idiot.¡¯


    It had been a long day. My mind was tired of holding it together.


    Every little crinkle of leaves was a threat to the tired hearts.


    Or was I just being over-dramatic?


    Probably a bit of both.


    As the storm was coming close, we hurried to the place the carriages were at. I saw Kio in the distance, getting up from the carriage. A bit closer, and I noticed his hair was messy - as if he had taken a nap.


    - ¡°Kio!¡±


    I probably walked a little too fast to greet him. The air was cold, and some drops had already started to fall. But he was so warm and cozy¡­


    - ¡°S-Sir?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, sorry¡­¡±


    Actually, no, I wasn¡¯t sorry at all. Be it because I was pissed and nervous, or because it was cold, or just due to what happened the previous day, seeing Kio just made me feel ten times better. I unapologetically hugged him for a little while. Just a simple, silly indulgence.


    Then, I felt another person join the hug.


    - ¡°He¡¯s warm¡­¡± ¨C Daien was smiling warmly. Kio hesitated, but still closed his arms a little to hold us.


    - ¡°Ehem.¡± ¨C The prince cleared his throat. ¨C ¡°Let¡¯s hurry, shall we?¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes sir.¡± ¨C We let go of Kio, who immediately opened the door for us.


    Since Arsamira had invited Renime to wait for the storm to calm down at the castle, we ended up all cramped in one carriage, while Luze and Minerva drove the two other ¨C now empty carriages - behind us. The duke¡¯s daughter was pretty clear on her intentions of spending the night there, and how happy it made her.


    I whispered to Daien.


    - ¡°¡­How old is she?¡±


    - ¡°14 harvest moons, I think.¡±


    - ¡°S-She¡¯s- She¡¯s just a child. Should I be worried?¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. She¡¯s more of a little sister to all of us.¡±


    I looked at them again. Arsamira spoiled her like one would a child, with half-hearted listening and brotherly love. The contrast between an extremely capable soldier and an excited and childish teen was striking.


    I felt strangely sorry for her. A child who loved so much, yet all she gets back is being shoved in her face how the man she¡¯s engaged with doesn¡¯t love her.


    Well, in one of the worst ways possible.


    The ride back went by pretty quickly, and I spent most of the time looking through the window.


    Lie.


    I spent most of the time asking Kio if he was okay, because the carriage had no way to cover him from the rain.


    But lo and behold, we arrived at the castle with not much trouble.


    In the end I didn¡¯t get to practice any magic, huh.

 13 - Beforehand

    I changed my clothes before wandering around the castle, looking for a certain person. A certain librarian I had to punch in the gut (just kidding). The halls of the palace seemed so big, so empty, when walking alone. The guards greeted me as I went by, as did the maids and butlers. Yet, in the dark of an unraveling storm - wind and rain hitting the windows, the many little lanterns and candles twinkling their warmth towards the corners - every little step and breath resonated against the circled arcs that held the ceiling. I brushed the leaves of the many plants I passed by, as if saying hi to them.


    The peaceful solitude of the path made my eyes tear up.


    As expected, I found him in the library, signing some papers. Mizuen greeted me with a kind smile and fingers dirty with ink.


    The library looked equally welcoming and terrifying in the dark of its corridors and the warmth of its lanterns. In the little corner next to the window - where we normally sat to chat - the librarian was curled up in a blanket when I walked towards him. He offered me a seat and some tea from his mug. I kept standing.


    - ¡°What is it, Von? It¡¯s rare that you would look for me. How did your class go?¡±


    - ¡°Mizuen, you should have told me.¡±


    - ¡°Straight to the point, huh. I apologize, I didn¡¯t have the time.¡±


    - ¡°Mizuen.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s true. I had to do a lot of your paperwork these past few days, and write the reports about the experiments with posporita.¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t mean the class. You could have told me that you don¡¯t know how to send me back to my world.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, that, well¡­¡±


    - ¡°I would have understood. I understood everything else. It wasn¡¯t that hard, was it?¡±


    - ¡°Why don¡¯t you sit down?¡±


    - ¡°Mizuen.¡±


    He took a deep breath. I saw his whole posture melt down as he covered his face with his arms, laying over the table, and all the papers. Mizuen ruffled his own hair in frustration, messing up the papers even more.


    - ¡°¡­I have a lot on the line too. I can¡¯t just tell people that I don¡¯t know how to do something. To this kingdom I¡¯m a genius. I¡¯m Io¡¯s successor. I need to be able to do everything.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s not my problem.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m being honest here. Opening up a little.¡±


    - ¡°I didn¡¯t come to hear you vent.¡±


    - ¡°Fine, fine. But... it¡¯s true. It¡¯s hard to admit I can¡¯t solve that, of all things. I¡¯ve been trying to find a way, and I still haven¡¯t given up.¡±


    - ¡°I could have helped you if you told me.¡±


    - ¡°You already have too much to do. I didn¡¯t want to add more to the stress.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Well, that¡¯s true. I would have just gotten stressed. Just like I am now.¡±


    - ¡°Come, sit down.¡±


    I gave in to him this time. I sat down.


    - ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to not have planned that one thing.¡±


    - ¡°I have to admit it was the least of my worries until you actually arrived. It may not look like it, but half the time I¡¯m not sure what I¡¯m doing.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s one thing we have in common.¡± ¨C I laughed. It was muffled by the storm.


    - ¡°Sorry for hiding it. I have to be careful of what I say, a lot.¡±


    - ¡°No, no - now that I think about it, it¡¯s not like I could do anything to help anyways. I barely know anything about magic; I would just be a waste of space.¡±


    - ¡°Calling yourself useless again?¡±


    - ¡°But I have proof now!¡±


    - ¡°Like hell you do. Anyways. How is it? You¡¯ve got your license now.¡±


    - ¡°Yeah¡­ Huh¡­ It¡¯s weird. Since I didn¡¯t really work for it, I¡¯m not sure how I should feel. It¡¯s like I don¡¯t deserve it. Impostor syndrome? You know, Renime- She called me a cheater. And, I wouldn¡¯t say she¡¯s wrong. I¡¯m getting way more than I deserve and I¡¯m not even doing anything.¡±


    - ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I also have a special license, since I don¡¯t actually do magic. And I know the feeling of having to prove yourself again and again so that they don¡¯t take away everything you worked for.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s¡­ not really like that for me. It¡¯s more of¡­ I want to work hard. I kind of¡­ want to prove that it wasn¡¯t a mistake to trust me. That I¡¯m here for a reason. I don¡¯t want to keep feeling like I¡¯m useless, now that everything has started to move.¡±


    Mizuen gently ruffled my hair, and then pressed my nose.


    - ¡°That¡¯s way better. I know you can do it, so don¡¯t hold back. I believe in you.¡±


    - ¡°Wait, let me do one thing.¡± ¨C I asked. He just looked at me, waiting for it. So, I smacked his head.


    - ¡°W-WWWwa-¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s for being a manipulative asshole.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Fair.¡±


    The conversation moved along once again. I had it clear in my head that I couldn¡¯t get mad at him at this point. I found out a few surprising things talking about my day with Mizuen. Specifically one.


    - ¡°...so that¡¯s what- Oh! Also, I saw that the students didn¡¯t have a teacher with them during practice. Is that normal? You all do self-study?¡±


    - ¡°Practice¡­ Sparring?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, sparring.¡±


    - ¡°Ah¡­ well¡­ Mardiha taught that class¡­ She died some time ago...¡±


    - ¡°In the-¡±


    - ¡°A battle in the border. She insisted on fighting, to not leave her students alone. She was the fourth years¡¯ homeroom teacher - they were put on the frontlines. She was a brilliant duelist.¡±


    - ¡°S-So that¡¯s why.¡±


    - ¡°Mister Unca¨ªn too... He was a medic. He was the best stave artisan in the kingdom too. The one who taught at the Academy. You know? He never hurt a soul. But that didn¡¯t matter. They cut down the bridge when our troops were retreating. Thirty people died that day, six because they cut down that bridge.¡±


    - ¡°A-Ah¡­ I see. Uh¡­¡±


    - ¡°Yeah. And even then, those idiots at the Court want to surrender. They somehow believe the Doctrine isn¡¯t going to murder all of us.¡±


    - ¡°Mizuen¡­¡±


    He quickly changed the topic back to his research, telling me about the new findings - the many uses of the explosives they were working on. With new ideas coming to mind thanks to it, I convinced him to make me a copy of the report he was preparing for the Queen. I thanked his willingness to share such information.


    While he was teaching me about the wonders of alchemy, someone knocked on the door.


    - ¡°Yes?¡± ¨C The librarian called out, hiding some papers. However, the person was already inside by the time he answered.


    - ¡°Mirri, dinner is about to start so- Oh- Sir Von, you were here too-¡±


    I stared at them for a moment. Mizuen jumped from his chair after a few seconds.


    - ¡°L-Loe-! I- Ah! A-Alright, I¡¯ll get going¡­¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes! I¡¯ll go back to- I mean-! See you later! I-If you excuse me.¡± ¨C She bowed and walked out just as quickly as she entered.


    Mizuen stayed standing, his foot tapping the floor. It wasn¡¯t, of course, visible, but I could feel his eyes turning around every corner of the room - just not knowing what to do, for once.


    So, having the upper hand for the first time, I smiled.


    - ¡°Oh? What is that? Are you embarrassed? Are you?¡±


    - ¡°Oh shut up-¡±


    - ¡°So? Are you two dating, then?¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yeah. What about it?¡±


    - ¡°Nothing. It makes me happy to know you have someone like that.¡±


    - ¡°W-Whatever.¡±You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    - ¡°Don¡¯t be embarrassed, Mizuen! Loving someone is truly one of the best things you could do. You love your sister, you love your friends, and you love your partner. Own it like it¡¯s something to be proud of, because it is!¡± ¨C I patted his back, laughing.


    - ¡°Since when are you a wise old man, Von?¡±


    - ¡°You seem to forget I¡¯m older than you!¡±


    - ¡°Of course I¡¯d forget, it never shows.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- No need to get aggressive. Let¡¯s go get dinner before Arsamira disowns me.¡±


    After a chuckle, he put his papers back wherever they were supposed to be - and with that, we headed towards the dining hall.


    Illuminated by ghostly flames, the nature-filled room had the strange gloom of a fairy tale. I immediately found Kio sitting amongst the guards that weren¡¯t on duty. He wasn¡¯t a guard, but my retainer ¨C yet, in this world, I found these terms to be rather vague. To say that I¡¯m not able to translate certain things is one thing, but many titles worked completely differently despite being the equivalent.


    Sitting above the servants were the Queen, the second princess, Arsamira, Mizuen, Daien, Renime ¨C and the ominous, empty seat reserved for the King. I wasn¡¯t one to stop and stare in such awkward places, but the delicate carvings and ornaments that were unique to this chair called the sight towards themselves.


    Being the chair I was usually offered, I had sat on it multiple times before without thinking. During prayer, all I managed was trying to keep myself from shaking from the sheer thought of taking the King¡¯s seat.


    The delicious meal in front of me didn¡¯t make it easier to bear. Well, it did ¨C just a little.


    Boiled eggs, warm milk with tea, fresh bagels, a little salad with tiny tomato-ish berries ¨C and the main dish, a sort of meat pie with fruit and rice inside. Well, a type of rice. Some sort of rice.


    The rice was filled with the meat¡¯s juices, absorbing the flavor of the spices. The crust was slightly crunchy, with a taste of almond, and the sweet fruits combined with the savory flavor of the sauce made specifically for it gave it a depth and complexity that helped the meat¡¯s saltiness overlap with the crust¡¯s rich texture.


    Okay, I did get distracted by the food.


    While I was enjoying a bagel dipped in honey, Arsamira called out my name.


    - ¡°Y-Yes?¡±


    - ¡°Thank you for coming.¡± ¨C That gentle smile of his, it wasn¡¯t fair how easily it got me.


    - ¡°¡­Sorry for causing so much trouble.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s no-¡°¨C Before Arsamira could finish, the princess scolded him.


    - ¡°Arsa, have you been pestering sir Von?¡±


    - ¡°Not at all- I just told him about the rumors going around-¡± ¨C The princess glared at Arsamira, and that was enough to shut him up.


    - ¡°I was happy to know sir Von was coming to dine with us, but knowing that this is the reason, I- I sincerely apologize for my brother¡¯s actions.¡± ¨C The Princess, the youngest member of the Court and probably one of the most capable. Even with such skills, it was noticeable how she was still a child around her family. She pouted as the Prince laughed at her apology, and even more when the Queen let out a chuckle. They truly loved each other ¨C and they opened their arms to those like me, who yearned for that light.


    I stared at Kio from the table, watching him eat exuberating amounts - as he normally does. I couldn¡¯t stop my smile from appearing, so I just hid my mouth behind a hand. But the grin got bigger when I caught Mizuen staring at the crowd ¨C at Loe. There were so many little things I hadn¡¯t noticed before. So many little things I previously tried to ignore.


    I looked at the princess.


    - ¡°Excuse me- Is it possible that I could visit you later?¡±


    - ¡°I will be at the apothecary, sir. Is there anything specific you need to talk about?¡±


    - ¡°Nothing, really! Just a little chat. Wait- I think I do want something, though.¡±


    - ¡°Oh? Whatever it is, I¡¯ll do my best to help.¡±


    - ¡°Then may I try some of the spices you have? There is a flavor I need - but then again, I¡¯m from another world. I don¡¯t even know if one similar to it is available here.¡±


    - ¡°May I have more specifications of what you are looking for?¡±


    - ¡°Well¡­ We call it cinnamon back at home. It¡¯s slightly sweet, goes well with pie. This pie probably has it, actually! It has a warm and cozy feeling, like autumn.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Uh¡­ I think I can manage with that, yes. If you give me two hours, I will have a few samples for you to try.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you so much, Princess. I¡¯m sorry to give you even more work than I already do.¡±


    - ¡°Not at all! I¡¯m grateful to be of any help, with all you are doing for us.¡±


    - ¡°Oh no, I¡¯m not doing much-¡±


    - ¡°You are, sir! And even! This is the second time we¡¯ve talked, but you already can already speak this fluently- I wouldn¡¯t believe that you didn¡¯t before if I hadn¡¯t seen it for myself.¡±


    - ¡°¡­This is the second time?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, it is. Oh- Well, last time wasn¡¯t much of a talk. It was during your first audience with the Court.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, back then Von was spacing out, Foebi.¡± - Arsamira joined the conversation just to make me look bad, ¡®ey.


    - ¡°Spacing out and having a panic attack are two completely different things, Prince.¡± ¨C And Mizuen jumped in to defend me, ¡®eeeeyyy. ¨C ¡°Von almost fainted that time, Princess. I doubt he remembers much of what happened.¡±


    - ¡°Oh dear. Do you, perhaps, have any mental illnesses, sir Von?¡± ¨C The Princess was so direct with that question, that it totally put me out of it for a few seconds. She said it so casually, so comfortably-. It would be fine to answer, right?


    - ¡°Ah¡­ Y-Yes¡­ S-Somewhat¡­¡±


    - ¡°I see. Oh- Were you perhaps under any specific treatment back in your world? I could help you find an equivalent if you are in need.¡±


    - ¡°It- It¡¯s fine. I wasn¡¯t. It¡¯s not something I could afford¡­¡±


    - ¡°My, my-. Don¡¯t worry about the cost - that¡¯s not a thing anyone should have to worry about. If you wish, I can set an appointment with a medic.¡±


    - ¡°A-A medic¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Yes- Oh! Medics are mages that are specialized in medicine, like me. You see, magic has many practical uses, even for mental health - it helps ease symptoms like sleep changes or somatization. And when it comes to deeper treatment-¡±


    - ¡°Foebi, darling, you are overwhelming him.¡± ¨C The Queen spoke gently, but clearly and mightily. Her sweet tone was absolute, it stood above everyone without a hint of trying. ¨C ¡°But yes, dear. If you need anything, just let us know. We will do our best to accommodate your needs.¡±


    ¡®Did she just call me dear!?¡¯ is all I could think of. I barely managed to mutter a ¡°thank you¡±; I just kept chewing on my eternally-lasting bagel. Be it that the Queen was so gentle and lovely - that I felt at home every time she spoke - or that I am a hopeless idiot, but I truly didn¡¯t mind, in the moment, that I couldn¡¯t properly answer her.


    And time passed - with Daien, who was constantly giving me bits of food to try; with Mizuen, who taught me to use a fork that had a spiral shape; with Arsamira, who tried to cheer up Renime, as she had been silent and gloomy ever since I sat at the table; and, of course, the Princess and the Queen, who clearly cherished their family time, and were having a pleasant conversation about the flowers in the garden.


    They asked questions about my world, too, after a few comments from me - comparing flavors. That this tasted like tomatoes, and this tasted like chamomile, and this fruit was similar to mangoes. They were fascinated by the descriptions I gave of fruits and vegetables, of animals and plants; of discoveries across the eras ¨C most of which they seemed to know about already.


    Arsamira and Renime were specifically interested in my tales ¨C the ones about a little festival I visited when I was young, around Christmas eve. Live music playing during sunset at the beach, the market selling potted plants and artisanal sweets. The falling dark, contrasting with the colorful balloons filled with LED lights, the fresh sea breeze, a cup of churros half eaten by seagulls. The relaxing trip back home, too. The city lights passing by - colorful drops that floated like fairies. Listening to music as the reflections danced in the car¡¯s window. Driving up the hill, passing the many trees on a dirt road mom used to avoid traffic. The dog that lived in a corner of the street, that always greeted us when we arrived home - until my mom decided to adopt him. I told them about so many little things; the constellations that could be seen from my bedroom window, the colorful lizards that got lost in our backyard, the Christmas decorations I made with my mom, that we used to put on the front door even when they were falling apart.


    They listened to me ramble until the food was cold. I didn¡¯t notice how long I had been talking - but, when my eyes wandered across the room, I noticed Kio had already left. I looked at our own table, just to find out everyone had finished their meal but me. I think I got red ¨C and started sweating, started stuttering, started tapping my leg.


    The Queen was the first to get up.


    - ¡°That was a lot of fun, dear. But, if you will excuse me, I have to get going. However, feel free to come chat at any time. I enjoyed it a lot.¡± ¨C She sounded a bit tired, but smiled anyways. Once she left, the rest followed.


    Arsamira had told Renime to go ahead and wait for him, that they¡¯ll have some tea later. Once she walked away, he put a hand on my shoulder.


    - ¡°I¡¯ll take you to your room. Is that fine?¡±


    - ¡°Uh, I wanted to go to the garden. I can go alone, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    - ¡°But it¡¯s pouring outside.¡±


    - ¡°¡­There is a little terrace, right? I wanted to see the rain for a bit.¡±


    - ¡°Then I¡¯ll take you there.¡±


    I looked at him. At the way his lips smiled. At the look he was giving me. There must be something hidden in those pools of eternity.


    Arsamira grabbed my hand as we walked out. He looked through the obscured windows, his mind far away from here.


    - ¡°Is there something you want, Prince?¡±


    - ¡°Are you asking because I¡¯m holding your hand, Hero?¡±


    - ¡°Oh lord- don¡¯t call me that ever again.¡±


    - ¡°Alright, alright.¡±


    - ¡°So? Answer the question.¡±


    - ¡°I just wanted to keep you company a little longer.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m still mad at you, you know.¡±


    - ¡°Take it as an apology. After what happened yesterday, I thought it would make it better for you to have someone around.¡±


    - ¡°¡­It does. But it pisses me off that it¡¯s you.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, come on. We had a lot of fun during dinner. Lighten up a little!¡±


    - ¡°You just talked about the fact I almost got kidnapped yesterday, and now you are telling me to lighten up.¡±


    - ¡°Well, you can¡¯t be bitter about it forever-¡±


    - ¡°I will if I want to.¡±


    He let go of my hand, his eyes avoiding me.


    We eventually arrived at the terrace, candle in hand.


    - ¡°Sorry, Von.¡±


    - ¡°What now?¡±


    - ¡°I haven¡¯t been the nicest, have I?¡±


    - ¡°Wow.¡±


    - ¡°I- -I didn¡¯t leave the best impression. This afternoon, I mean. I should explain myself. It¡¯s just-¡±


    - ¡°I know, I know. It¡¯s just really convenient to have me here - to brag about how much you don¡¯t care about her feelings.¡±


    - ¡°W-Wha- Von, I¡¯m not that heartless. She¡¯s just being forced by her father to marry me. It¡¯s better to not give her fake hopes.¡±


    - ¡°Arsamira, she¡¯s lovestruck. If you had at least two fingers¡¯ worth of forehead maybe you¡¯d notice. There are better things to do than-¡±


    - ¡°Von, please. And I promise I didn¡¯t say those things just because-. I mean. I meant them, I guess. Kind of.¡±


    - ¡°Gods, you are embarrassing.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m trying to be honest here!¡±


    - ¡°Whatever.¡±


    - ¡°I really don¡¯t want you to stay mad at me. Is there anything I can do to fix that?¡±


    - ¡°Arsamira. We¡¯ve known each other for like two weeks. I¡¯ll be honest - if you weren¡¯t in the position to get me killed with one call, I¡¯d already have tried to punch you at least three times just today.¡±


    - ¡°Ouch.¡±


    - ¡°You are charming. And charismatic. You are pretty smart when you need to be, and know how to use your good looks and status to get on the good side of people. You are a picture-perfect prince. But you are kind of a pretty awful person.¡±


    - ¡°And I want to fix that, Von.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s not my job. Summon someone else for that.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry- but you are one of the only that¡¯s ever told me what I¡¯m doing wrong.¡±


    - ¡°What a shame, huh.¡±


    - ¡°Really, no one else dares-¡±


    - ¡°I guess you don¡¯t listen to your mother then. Or your sister.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s not the point.¡±


    - ¡°Then what is the point, Prince?¡±


    - ¡°Now you are just being a brat.¡±


    Arsamira grabbed my wrist. I immediately jumped back, cold stabbing my back.


    He let go.


    - ¡°I¡¯m! I¡¯m sorry, Von. I guess I¡¯m a bit tired¡­¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s fine. You must be.¡± ¨C Bury me alive for being such a coward. ¨C ¡°Sorry. I shouldn¡¯t talk like this to you. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    - ¡°Von¡­¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll- I¡¯ll go to my room.¡±


    - ¡°Please. I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m truly sorry.¡±


    Weakness crept up my spine, burying itself in a hole in my heart. The Prince looked truly devastated. I didn¡¯t have it in me, once again, to be mad at him.


    - ¡°¡­Stay for a while. Let¡¯s watch the rain.¡± ¨C I whispered. The light in his eyes - oh, hit me, I didn¡¯t want it to disappear.


    This dumbass prince. He was truly dangerous. And his twisted honesty was the worst of his weapons.


    - ¡°But I¡­¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine. I don¡¯t want to be alone anyways. The castle is too big and dark right now, I¡¯ll get lost if I go back.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Did I scare you?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t answer.


    But


    - ¡°Just how much pain have I caused you?¡±


    he brushed my hair so gently.


    - ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    His whispers were muffled by the storm.


    - ¡°I just can¡¯t keep the act up around you. You¡¯ve had to see the worst in me.¡±


    - ¡°Please. Stop talking.¡±


    - ¡°Sorry.¡±


    Curse my luck.


    It had to end soon. It had to.


    He felt way too familiar.

 14 - Watering dark, and a cup of tea

    We watched the storm together in awkward silence. Lightning struck right in front of us, startling me. Arsamira looked at me with those innocent eyes of his, a slight smile - almost mocking.


    He placed a hand on my shoulder, the foreign warmth messing me up. I didn¡¯t have the will to brush it off nor to complain. I pretended to be lost in thought, almost meditating.


    Under the forceful disaster, the beauty of the storm, the world continued falling apart.


    Minutes went by in a deafening struggle, flowers and bushes grasping the soil, holding themselves against the unprecedented chaos. In-between the raindrop bullets, a little critter approached my feet. A wet mop. The same squirrely-rat I fed a magdalena to. I couldn¡¯t imagine another critter as irreverent as that one, climbing up my clothes and sitting in my hands as I held it in surprise.


    ¡®Tas to¡¯o mojao¡¯


    - ¡°What¡­ What¡¯s that thing, Von?¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t know what these are called?¡±


    - ¡°Ah- A sansa.¡±


    - ¡°Alright, it¡¯s a sansa.¡±


    He looked like he wanted to say something, but I ignored him and tried to dry off the sansa. It was trembling from the cold, so I started blowing some air onto its face to warm it up a little.


    - ¡°I¡¯ll be going in, then. The furball is cold, I need to dry it.¡±


    - ¡°But- Ah, yes, Renime is waiting for me. If you need anything-¡±


    - ¡°Bye.¡±


    And I left before he could stop me. I hope he didn¡¯t notice ¨C how fast I was walking, the irregular breathing, how I couldn¡¯t stop trembling. I think I held it together pretty well.


    The sansa snuggled against me while I looked for the way to my room. In the dark, I got lost here and there. After I turned up for the third time at the bottom of the stairs that led to the kitchen, a butler asked me if I was lost, and guided me to the corridor my room was in - relief washing over me as I saw Kio in front of my door. I kept the sansa hidden inside my sweater just in case either of them would complain. And the sansa purred, for some reason. I had no idea they could purr-. A short hi to Kio, and I walked inside like a stiff puppet.


    The critter was a fluffy ball with a long, hairy tail, and long front teeth. It had brown fur with white dots here and there, and little grabby raccoon hands. Its big ol¡¯ eyes stared at me for a second before it jumped onto my bed.


    - ¡°?No est¨¢s siendo muy confianzudo, oye?¡±


    It dug itself underneath my pillows, the irreverent furball. It laid there, sleeping comfortably. The room was warm enough, so I didn¡¯t worry. I left my sweater over it and put something else on. There was this really cute robe-of-sorts that felt like a fluffy winter coat, yet looked like a mage¡¯s cape. It was just the perfect time to indulge in its warmth ¨C despite it being too big for me. All wrapped up and ready to go.


    - ¡°Sir?¡± ¨C Asked Kio as I was leaving the room. ¨C ¡°Everything okay?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, yes- Ah, don¡¯t let anyone in my room until I¡¯m back! No one!¡±


    - ¡°¡­But Loe has to come late-¡±


    - ¡°No one! It¡¯s an order.¡±


    - ¡°M-May I know the reason?¡±


    I hesitated for a long time, staring at his eyes.


    - ¡°¡­Ibroughtinasansa.¡±


    - ¡°What?¡±


    - ¡°I brought in a sansa! The one we saw in the garden the other time! The storm is really cold and¡­ stormy, so he climbed onto me. And¡­ I brought it inside, I couldn¡¯t leave it there.¡±


    - ¡°But sir, you don¡¯t know if that thing carries any disease!¡±


    - ¡°Arsamira saw me bring it in! So it¡¯s fine! I just don¡¯t want anyone to chase it away.¡±


    - ¡°¡­S-Sir.¡±


    - ¡°What?¡±


    - ¡°¡­Nothing.¡± ¨C He laughed. ¨C ¡°I¡¯ll make sure no one enters your room, then. And, sir-¡±


    - ¡°Hm?¡±


    - ¡®Thanks for telling me.¡¯


    - ¡°What?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, nothing. But when are you coming back? I can wait, but it¡¯s around time for me to head to bed.¡±


    - ¡°Ah-¡­ Right. I probably won¡¯t be back until midnight... Actually, no, later¡­ You can sleep in my room if you¡¯d like.¡±


    - ¡°I wouldn¡¯t! I will wait for you here, sir. I will manage. Just be careful, the palace seems to grow at night, it¡¯s really easy to get lost.¡±


    - ¡°I noticed. But really, if I take too long, you can sleep here, okay? It¡¯s no trouble.¡±


    After a few seconds of Kio¡¯s facial muscles failing to work properly, he bowed.


    I headed towards the apothecary. Or tried to.


    Once again I was in front of the stairs to the kitchen. But after some turnarounds I saw the gleam of light passing through a glass door ¨C something only the apothecary seemed to have.


    Bells announced my arrival as I opened the door. Gotoi, the bird niwe, greeted me with tired eyes and dirty feathers. The princess showed up soon after - her hair up in a bun, gloves covered in soil. They were both wearing raincoats of sorts.


    The apothecary was a bit of a mess, potted plants claiming the tables, and mud all over the floor. There was also some broken glass in a bag, and some small puddles on the floor.


    - ¡°Sir! Good weather we hold, don¡¯t we? Sorry you have to see the shop like this, but the storm broke one of the windows in the greenhouse!¡±


    - ¡°Ah, don¡¯t worry Princess- Is there anything I can help with?¡±


    Gotoi placed a potted plant on the table, right in front of me, and talked with a tired and feisty tone. His beak barely moved when he talked.


    - ¡°We already covered the hole and moved the pots inside, so we are basically done. I¡¯ll prepare some tea.¡±


    - ¡°Ah! I can do it- You two rest!¡± - I took off my cozy jacket and left it on a chair. ¨C ¡°Put this on if you feel cold, okay?¡±Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    - ¡°May I, princess? My feathers are wet.¡±


    - ¡°Sure, Gotoi. I¡¯ll help sir Von with the tea.¡±


    So, Gotoi took off his raincoat and put on the fluffy cape. His feathers puffed up, mostly the ones on his head, so he looked like a startled hen. His feathers were of a pale, cocoa brown - but under the light of the candles, they seemed to be a bright, shining red.


    Warmed up with tea, and the storm outside still strong, we talked about silly things to calm down. Mostly about the prince, the silliest thing of all. The princess kept complaining about him to me.


    - ¡°I can¡¯t handle him at times! When he was young, he would bother whatever servant had the misfortune of being the newest, just to get a reaction - like a spoiled child! I always would go around apologizing for him! And he also stole sweets from the kitchen at night! And I¡¯m not really convinced he has stopped doing it!¡±


    - ¡°And he doesn¡¯t like to be told what to do at all. It¡¯s really hard to give him medicine like that.¡± ¨C Gotoi added.


    - ¡°Unless you are the captain! Tito Hae raised him pretty much, but he spoiled him rotten when he was little!¡±


    - ¡°But, Princess, you were also spoiled by your uncle.¡±


    - ¡°Tito Arlo doesn¡¯t count, he¡¯s too strict¡­ I¡¯m thankful for his advice, but!¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m surprised at how lively you are.¡± ¨C I laughed. ¨C ¡°It makes me glad.¡±


    - ¡°A-Ah- Am I? I apologize if that¡¯s-¡±


    - ¡°No, no, princess, is fine. I would be worried if someone so young lived life seriously.¡±


    - ¡°He¡¯s right, princess. You¡¯ll get old soon if you keep frowning so much.¡± ¨C The way Gotoi laughed was incredibly weird, yet charming in its own way. It was between a squawk and a sizzle.


    - ¡°I¡¯d rather get old soon if it means I¡¯m doing my job right!¡±


    - ¡°Calm down, your Latrei is showing.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Wait.¡± ¨C I did the math in my head. ¨C ¡°Arlo¡­ So siblings, they were siblings after all.¡±


    - ¡°Ye- Oh. Oh dear. Oh dear, what do I do now-. You are not supposed to-. Oh dear.¡± ¨C The princess covered her face in shame. ¨C ¡°Sir Von, you promise to keep the secret? Please?¡±


    - ¡°..What? What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, well, it¡¯s¡­ People outside the royal family aren¡¯t supposed to know.¡±


    - ¡°I didn¡¯t know it was a secret that the queen and the count were related.¡±


    - ¡°Wait- So you did know!?¡±


    - ¡°I just assumed; they look similar. The vibe and all.¡±


    - ¡°Oh-¡­ I guess? Yes, but¡­ Oh dear, I¡¯m¡­ I didn¡¯t notice. Talking to you feels too natural. I¡­ It¡¯s my mistake.¡±


    - ¡°So¡­ What¡¯s the problem?¡±


    - ¡°The Count¡­ is the illegitimate son of my grandmother. Our mother welcomed him into the family anyways. My father wasn¡¯t really fond of him, but the Count was always there for us. Now he¡¯s officially part of the family, since he married my sister.¡±


    - ¡°Wait- Waiwaiwait-. Latrei is married?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, huh, yes.¡±


    - ¡°To his niece????¡±


    - ¡°T-That¡¯s why it¡¯s a secret-. They didn¡¯t get married to be together, it was because my sister wanted to resign from the right to the throne. Please don¡¯t think badly of him! They don¡¯t have that type of relationship!¡±


    - ¡°¡­So they are business partners, of sorts?¡±


    - ¡°Yes! Exactly! You get it.¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t think I could expect anything else of him. He doesn¡¯t seem to do anything but work.¡±


    - ¡°Right? I aspire to be like him.¡±


    - ¡°Well, princess, if that¡¯s the case, you are doing extremely well. Just remember to not overwork yourself.¡±


    The princess giggled a little.


    - ¡°Foebi is fine. For someone who had to leave- sorry- was taken from all they had, if anything, it¡¯s my worry that you don¡¯t get burnout. How is life here, now that it has been a few weeks?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m still not really used to being so spoiled. Loe takes such good care of me, I feel bad not being able to help her. And then there is Kio, and Daien, and everyone¡­ It feels like I don¡¯t deserve to be treated this well. I haven¡¯t done anything yet to deserve it. But I will make sure to earn it.¡±


    Gotoi served us another cup of tea, huddled inside the coat in silence.


    - ¡°The trust we put in you is not unjustified, sir.¡± ¨C The princess took my hand. ¨C ¡°Even if it¡¯s because of Mister Io¡¯s influence, you have inspired people enough by just being here. That¡¯s more than enough.¡±


    - ¡°¡­But have I really?¡±


    - ¡°Maybe you simply haven¡¯t noticed.¡±


    - ¡°I just don¡¯t think ¡®inspired¡¯ is the right word- Ah. Can I ask something?¡±


    - ¡°You already asked something, right there.¡± ¨C Said the sneaky bird while drinking tea. I looked down.


    - ¡°My, Gotoi, don¡¯t be mean. What is it, sir- Oh, can I call you just Von?¡±


    - ¡°Please do. Uh. Well¡­ I wanted to ask if you knew about someone called Koen.¡±


    The princess took a long sip of tea. A really long sip. Her friendly expression changed ever so slightly ¨C just a little, just enough to seem less alive than normal.


    - ¡°Koen, yes. I¡¯ve heard that name. Is this related to the kidnapping attempt?¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes.¡±


    - ¡°I will look into it. You don¡¯t need to tell me anything else.¡±


    - ¡°A-Are you sure?¡±


    - ¡°Why, yes. The name is enough.¡±


    Gotoi suddenly got up, smiling at us - kind of.


    - ¡°Why don¡¯t we talk about something nicer, then? Like the spices you asked us to look for.¡± ¨C He put the coat over my shoulders ¨C and I expected it to be wet, but instead it was strangely warm and dry. Cozy.


    He brought in a tray of little pots filled with powdered spices. Some were green, some brown - there were blue, red, and golden ones too. The princess stood in front of me with a little spoon, as if we were to eat the mountains of powder.


    - ¡°So, let me see¡­ This is a variety of zafra, so it¡¯s spicy. This one is luluma - more of a mild, earthy flavor.¡± - She kept pointing at them with the spoon, and I kept waiting for her to scoop a little for me to eat. - ¡°This other one is kosko; it¡¯s normally drunk as a tea, but also used as a spice. And this one here - I think this would be the closest to what you are looking for? It¡¯s bayal, an especially sweet spice from the skin of bai cane.¡± - In the end, I didn¡¯t eat no spice.


    - ¡°Hmm, the smell is somewhat similar. And that one?¡± ¨C I pointed to a warm green powder.


    - ¡°Ah, anaris. I wasn¡¯t too sure about it, but it still fits. It¡¯s mostly used for liquors, but I¡¯ve even seen it used as garnish in the southern region, since they prefer strong flavors.¡±


    - ¡°Uhm¡­ And this other one? The yellow one.¡±


    - ¡°Pilanta! The flower of this one is really good for stomach aches. Pretty much every part can be used, the roots are delicious pickled- it¡¯s from the lands of Helan, so it stands strong against the harshest cold! It¡¯s a tad expensive, though-...¡±


    - ¡°Huh, to say- Isn¡¯t the market here closed to outsiders¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, it isn¡¯t available to civilians.¡±


    - ¡°So it¡¯s either grown here or it arrived through illegal methods.¡±


    - ¡°Not quite.¡±


    - ¡°So¡­ It¡¯s smuggled?¡±


    - ¡°Indeed. We have favored the arrival of foreigners these last four years to hide the presence of the growing foreign market from the common folk.¡±


    The princess didn¡¯t hesitate in her statement.


    - ¡°Isn¡¯t that- uh- pretty fishy and corrupt?¡±


    - ¡°Is not corrupt, there is no obligation for us to share such information, no law to abide in that sense. As long as it doesn¡¯t damage the economy of the kingdom, it¡¯s not really important. To start, only those of noble status have the money to make use of it. We are just trying a new system for the good of our people.¡±


    - ¡°Princess, isn¡¯t that snitching on every other noble family?¡± ¨C Whispered Gotoi, not really caring much about it.


    - ¡°Sir Von has no reasons to do anything about it, and nothing to gain from that either. If anything, sir - were you in the case of making use of it, feel free to come to me with your requests.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes, thank you. Wait- Wait. Does Latrei also accept this?¡± ¨C I tried to sound as calm as possible in my bewilderment.


    - ¡°While he doesn¡¯t make use of it, he isn¡¯t against its existence. It¡¯s a first step towards opening our borders, legally, to commercial trade. The first in at least a hundred years.¡±


    - ¡°So, the coin has been circulating internally- for a hundred years.¡±


    - ¡±Indeed, so we can¡¯t ensure that civilians would be ready for such a change.¡±


    - ¡°But the nur is almost useless to foreign markets. Where does the money of the nobles come from?¡±


    - ¡°Well- treasurer Sheqipi would be glad to explain it to you if you¡¯d want to. He¡¯s one of the few members of the Court that lives in the castle, so feel free to visit him when you have time.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes. I think I¡¯ll do that- Can we- Back to the spices?¡± -


    - ¡°Surely. What do you think about it?¡±


    - ¡°Pilanta¡­ It¡¯s pretty close to cinnamon. It has that kind of... red smell. Is it alright if I save a bit for later?¡±


    - ¡°Please do. I have some new saplings growing - they will definitely survive the threat of the storm, so I¡¯m not worried.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you. If- If there is any help I can provide, uh-¡±


    - ¡°You are already doing quite a lot, sir. There is no need to worry about that.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, uh... Uh. I will be leaving, then. It¡¯s already pretty late.¡±


    - ¡±Take care on your way back, the castle can be quite scary at night.¡±


    The princess waved at me while serving herself another cup of tea, and Gotoi walked me to the door and nodded goodbye.


    After I left, I heard the rattle of people moving things and mopping floors. I gulped - and sped up my pace.


    The midnight dark - it conquered the arches and walls, it ate the paintings and the plants, it silenced the carpets and pillars. As lanterns dripped down to nothingness, as the fire died with a gasp, I found myself walking in the eternity of a dream. Every fearful step resonated across the waves of its nocturnal breathing.


    Falling prey to my own echo, I ran from the empty shadow of my memory of back home. Back home?


    I saw the trail to its illusion more than twice in the dark.


    I was sure to not follow.


    As if the walls had eyes, as if the paintings chased me around, I twisted and circled around the corners of the hidden dark - hoping to meet Kio¡¯s warm presence in the next turn. The stairs to the kitchen, now obscured by the weight of the night and the storm, welcomed me in a mocking tone. I had gotten lost again and again, only to end up at the very same spot.


    But when the abyss laughs at you, you laugh back at it.


    With an idea in mind and tired eyes in my skull, I apologized to Kio in silence and stepped towards the kitchen.

 15 - Standing truce

    The kitchen felt like a cold cavern under the thundering raindrops. The wooden structures made strained noises like half-sung melodies; the glass lamps hanging from the ceiling clinked to the same tempo. Yet, the world was asleep.


    In the dark, I tried to find a match to light up some candles ¨C before remembering this land used magic instead. Let¡¯s give it a try, what could go wrong.


    Cold, damp ¨C it was hard to connect to the flame, but not to the need of it.


    I took off my coat and held my hand up high towards a candle. For there was no warmth near me, for the cold was stabbing my skin, I called upon the spirit of a lone light. It had a Christmas-like feeling, a late-night noel. With the smell of f¨®sforo and honey, a truculent flame parted from the tip of my fingers.


    It burnt - it burnt my skin; it flew away, a turbulent blaze spiraling toward the ceiling, attempting to crumble its gentle, aged wood; clinging onto it with hunger.


    My skin broke open as if it was frozen cold, and my legs kept me standing out of pure fear. Pain and panic, I grabbed the bucket of water by the stove and threw it upwards. With that, the flame was out. But so was a lamp, broken on the floor ¨C a floor that was as soaked as I was. I asked the gods to not let anyone come check on the disaster, while I covered the tip of my fingers with a wet rag. Of course, my pleas were answered with naught but irony.


    - ¡°What was that? Is some- Von?¡±


    The very Prince of the land, chamberstick in hand. He was wearing his nightgown, but his regular pair of outside shoes.


    - ¡°Yes, my liege, it is I.¡± ¨C I let out a sigh.


    - ¡°What on- What happened? Are you okay? Is your hand¡­?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m fine. I just tried to light a candle, but I¡¯m not that good with magic.¡±


    - ¡°Of course you aren¡¯t! You haven¡¯t even had classes yet! Ah, uh- Why is everything soaked? And that smell¡­ What¡¯s-?¡±


    - ¡°The ceiling. Soaked cause I threw a bucket. Because, well, I kind of, uh, set it on fire. Lighting up the candle and all. And broke a lamp too, kind of.¡±


    - ¡°Jeez, what the- Ah!! You got the etrine cape wet!!! Gods, get up ¨C Let me- You can¡¯t go out like this- The carpet- Let me start a fire. I think this chimney has a cover-.¡±


    - ¡°T-Thanks- Oh. So this is a fancy cape. Didn¡¯t think you¡¯d know about those things.¡±


    - ¡°Of course I do! Appearances are important, as is taking proper care of them. Etrine is a really delicate fabric, it could get ruined-¡±


    - ¡°¡­The princess didn¡¯t tell me anything about it.¡±


    - ¡°Well, she wouldn¡¯t! According to her, buying new things is ¡®helping the economy.¡¯ Golly, Von, come here by the fire. I¡¯ll... I¡¯ll try to dry up the floor.¡±


    - ¡°No no I can do that. It¡¯s alright. Can you light up the rest of the lamps instead?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, sure ¨C Why are you here alone this late, anyways?¡± ¨C Arsamira walked around the room lighting the candles with his chamberstick; the sound of his wet shoes reminded me of a dog toy.


    - ¡°I got lost coming back from the apothecary. I didn¡¯t feel well, so I just went to the kitchen, since I was close by... I thought maybe I could grab some bread and watch the storm until the morning.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, come on, the castle isn¡¯t even that big, how did you get lost? And there are guards everywhere, you could¡¯ve just asked them!¡±


    - ¡°T-There were?¡±


    - ¡°Of course there are!¡±


    - ¡°¡­ I didn¡¯t see anyone while walking.¡±


    - ¡°But there were when I came here!¡±


    - ¡°Uh¡­ Ah- Why are you here, though? Did you come to steal sweets?¡±


    - ¡°Might as well, since I found you!¡±


    - ¡°What.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Alright, that¡¯s not good. But- Yeah. I escorted Renime to her room already, so coming for a little snack seemed like a good idea.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m surprised at how strong she is, to have a chat with you even after this afternoon.¡±


    - ¡°Strong, needy- I¡¯d call it needy. She¡¯s probably aware of my feelings, but still doesn¡¯t back down. I don¡¯t like spoiled children.¡±


    - ¡°Says the one.¡±


    - ¡°Are you perhaps insinuating something, you irreverent hostage?¡±


    - ¡°To joke about it-! You are really getting on my nerves-.¡± ¨C I mumbled under my breath.


    - ¡°It¡¯s you who keeps blabbing about being kidnapped.¡±


    - ¡°Because it happened!¡±


    - ¡°Is that a tendency of yours? Being the damsel in distress?¡±


    - ¡°What¡¯s with you now? You really want me to punch you that badly?¡±


    - ¡°Look at you. Wandering around at night, alone, causing ruckus, totally defenseless; not even aware of the people around you - even hurting yourself on accident. When are you going to start to actually take care of yourself, if you are oh-so afraid of being in danger?¡±


    - ¡°Uh-¡±


    - ¡°You are aware of your position - you should, too, be aware of the dangers that come with it. After being with you on the terrace, I¡¯m worried. I mean, if that happened with someone that wasn¡¯t me, who knows what would happen?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯d like to think not everyone is a maniac, Arsamira.¡±


    - ¡°But you did almost get kidnapped.¡±


    - ¡°Why do you only care about that when it¡¯s convenient for you?¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s not what we are talking about, Von.¡±


    I pushed the mop towards his face.


    - ¡°You¡¯re right, but I don¡¯t want you to be the one saying it. I know the likes of you, I don¡¯t want to hear anything from that foul mouth.¡±


    - ¡°Pretty pretentious of you.¡± ¨C He stood his ground and took the wet mop by the broomstick. The floor was almost dry by now, so he put it away.


    - ¡°If your heart was as pure as your eyes, maybe I¡¯d listen to you.¡±


    - ¡°My intentions are pure - even if my methods are not your cup of tea.¡±


    - ¡°A golden prince with a silver tongue. I¡¯m not of your people, I cannot trust you.¡±


    - ¡°Is that what you think?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯d hate to say it twice.¡±


    - ¡°My, and I thought I was the infatuated one.¡± - Arsamira sat down at the kneading table, on which there was a little package with sweets and buns. - ¡°Let¡¯s discuss it over tea then, shall we?¡±


    - ¡°Just-... sit there. I¡¯ve got things to do.¡±


    Lie.


    But what better way to get rid of bitterness than by baking sweets.


    While a kettle boiled, I looked around for the ingredients. A fruit that tasted like apples, equivalents of flour and sugar - the closest to home it could be. I started making the dough, taking advantage of the cold weather. Pie crust is hard to knead, so I used to let out my frustrations on it whenever I was annoyed.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    - ¡°So it was true that you know how to cook.¡±


    - ¡°Want me to mop your face again, Your Majesty?¡±


    - ¡°Sorry, sorry. I just wouldn¡¯t expect housework from someone so delicate.¡±


    - ¡°My world might be too plebeian for you then, prince.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s a good thing, I assure you. I may be a great duelist, but when it comes to these trivial things, I would be useless without my servants.¡±


    - ¡°Of course. Be thankful I accepted the Queen¡¯s proposition - you would have died in a heartbeat if you had been exiled.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Yes. Thank you. I truly would be lost if you weren¡¯t as kind as you are.¡±


    It took me by surprise, the sincerity of his words.


    - ¡°Eh¡­ Uh¡­ Have you ever had apple-¡­ uh...parcena? Yes, parcena pie before?¡±


    - ¡°Not at all. Didn¡¯t know parcena could be cooked, to start.¡±


    - ¡°You don¡¯t have them boiled?¡±


    - ¡°¡°Not that I...- you are right! That¡¯s like, old man food though.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s good, it¡¯s just that you are too young to appreciate it.¡± ¨C I laughed.


    After a rainy eternity of a few minutes, I was putting the pie in the oven.


    - ¡°Can you serve some tea too?¡±


    - ¡°Uh-. Fine. I doubt I¡¯ll get tired of proper tea anyways.¡±


    - ¡°¡¯Proper tea?¡¯¡±


    - ¡°Well, we normally just used little tea bags back at home, they were pretty much instant.¡±


    - ¡°Oh! We have those too, with little labels and all!¡±


    - ¡°Huh. I had no idea.¡± ¨C I smiled a bit.


    The tea was slightly fruity, really sweet. It felt almost ironic against the storm and the warmth of the candles, with its sunlight-filled flavor. The beautiful red - of dried berries and crushed leaves - swirled in the little glass pitcher, reflecting the yellow tint of the candle lights. I held the cup close to my face, staring at the etrine cape while it dried up in front of the stove. It had a sky full of stars embroidered on its back, building up to a flower of suns and moons ¨C as if counting the eternal days.


    - ¡°I wonder why mom left it for you.¡±


    - ¡°It was hers?¡±


    - ¡°No, no. Io¡¯s. It was a gift my mom gave him, but he never used it. I guess it was forgotten here when he left.¡±


    - ¡°Io sounds more of a mystery every time I hear of him.¡±


    - ¡°He was like that for us too.¡± ¨C He whispered. But, all of sudden, his whole being jumped, his eyes wide open. ¨C ¡°That smell! Oh that smells so good-¡±


    - ¡°The pie must be almost ready by now.¡±


    - ¡°It smells so sweet¡­!¡±


    - ¡°Calm down-¡±


    The pie was slightly burnt at the bottom, but still looked pretty good, if I say so myself. I left it to the side to cool down, hoping it would be good enough for someone of royalty. But Arsamira seemed so excited, surely it would be fine.


    Even after the pure chaos I caused by setting the ceiling on fire, I wanted to give it a try once again ¨C magic, I mean.


    If magic was moving energy, maybe, just maybe, I could also take away energy.


    - ¡°Arruinar el pie ser¨ªa est¨²pido, right? Right. Uuuh Arsamira, pass me a candle.¡±


    - ¡°Sure, why?¡±


    - ¡°Nothing, nothing. Just want to try something.¡±


    As if to canalize the storm outside, as if to move yourself with the winds. And then, to take it all away.


    All is yours - the breeze, the land, the sky, the seas, and every being that roams their corners.


    It felt like inhaling. My fingers were burning once again, the pain from the previous wounds making my arm go numb. I¡¯m not the smartest person, surely. I didn¡¯t think it would hurt so much. It felt like needles - entering through my pores, traveling through my veins, stabbing my heart-


    I took a deep breath, holding my pained arm. Arsamira rushed to hold me as I fell back. He eased me down to the floor, my legs giving out underneath me.


    - ¡°What the- What? What in the King¡¯s name do you think you¡¯re- You¡¯re- You absorbed the flame?¡±


    - ¡°Well I- I have to practice some magic on my own too.¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t even think that¡¯s a thing people are allowed to do.¡±


    - ¡°Oh.¡±


    - ¡°I had no idea you had a wand with you- Why did they even give you one-...¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t have a wand though?¡±


    He stared at me with severe eyes, and started picking through my pockets. Of course, all I had there was my wallet.


    - ¡°¡­Okay uh ¨C uh- so. I don¡¯t know much about magic, yes. I don¡¯t. But I¡¯m pretty sure you can¡¯t- ah- do magic without at least a little branch.¡±


    - ¡°Oh- Oh well. That¡¯s¡­ not sounding good for me.¡±


    - ¡°If you don¡¯t want to... ah... stand out, yeah. That¡¯s pretty bad.¡±


    - ¡±I better not do that again then.¡±


    - ¡°Isn¡¯t this like the-... Well- You even set the ceiling on fire, didn¡¯t you? ...What am I going to do with you...?¡±


    I looked up to his face as I was sitting on the floor, supported by him. That was a pretty strong jawline, when you looked at it from down under.


    - ¡°Well, let¡¯s have some pie, alright? I¡¯d like some critique.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m still surprised at how easily you can brush off your problems.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s a skill acquired through years of nihilism.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡¯m not even going to ask what that is. Serve me some pie then.¡± - He said, letting go of me.


    - ¡°Surely, Your Majesty.¡± ¨C Up I go.


    I started cutting the still-warm pie. My arm was still in pain, but I preferred to ignore it. There was no actual damage, and I could move it just fine; there was just the throbbing in my fingers - and a strange feeling, as if my pores were so open that I could feel the breeze go through them. It was the third time I had used magic that day ¨C a particularly long day, at that. Even though the rapid pumping of my heart probably wouldn¡¯t let me sleep that night, my mind awake and aware of the previous day ¨C I still felt my eyes droop here and there.


    I placed the pie in front of Arsamira and served myself a slice. It would have been great to have ice cream, too.


    - ¡°Hmm. It¡¯s good, kind of.¡± ¨C I laughed. - ¡°Could have been better - it¡¯s my first time using a wood-fired oven.¡±


    I looked at Arsamira, who was eating in silence ¨C but fast. He stopped for a sip of tea.


    - ¡°It¡¯s good! I like it!¡±- He smiled, staring at me. ¨C ¡°It¡¯s, uuh, more crumbly than I expected!¡±


    - ¡°No more feedback? I mean, it did get burnt.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yeah. That¡¯s annoying, a tad bit. But I wasn¡¯t expecting anything professional, so this is pretty much on the high-end of my expectations!¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Uhm, thank you.¡±


    He smiled and kept eating. I drank my tea, looking at the ceiling. Well, not at the ceiling - I didn¡¯t want to look at the ashy circle my mistakes left. I was actually looking at the skylight windows near the plants, where I could see the storm lashing against the glass, thunder in the distance, havoc aplenty. It was relaxing watching the flames flicker as the breeze flowed above us. I raised my pained arm towards it, stretching my fingers, clenching my fist - all in an attempt to bring life back to it.


    Arsamira finished his slice and immediately went for another. I had just emptied my tea, and instead of eating the other half of my own slice, I divided the rest of the pie so that I was able to take it to my room for Kio ¨C hoping the little basket I borrowed from under the table was not going to be needed in the morning.


    The prince¡¯s gentle tone caught my attention once again.


    - ¡°Are you not going to eat with me?¡±


    - ¡°Well, it¡¯s time I go back - or try to, de hecho.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s bad manners to just stand up and leave.¡± - He pouted.


    - ¡°It¡¯s bad manners to sneak into the kitchen for sweets at midnight too, but I¡¯m not snitching.¡±


    - ¡°Fiiiine. But at least let me take you to your room, or you¡¯ll just get lost again.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Just this time.¡±


    - ¡°Right, right. Just this time.¡±


    I sat back down and slowly finished my slice of pie. It didn¡¯t exactly taste like home. It felt wrong ¨C it felt foreign. I looked at Arsamira once again.


    - ¡°Have I bothered you too much?¡± ¨C I asked, my eyes falling down once again. ¡®Goddamnit - it keeps happening.¡¯


    - ¡°No, why?¡±


    - ¡°I just wonder. I had so many privileges gifted to me just for being from somewhere else, I wonder if that gave you trouble¡­ around the people and all.¡±


    - ¡°Amongst the militia you are on our side, you are the one I brought here to tip the scales. Amongst the common folk, you are the one I brought to protect them if the Court was to go to war despite our pleas. I don¡¯t see the problem with that.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ But what if they notice that I¡¯m the one that¡¯s keeping the war going?¡±


    - ¡°¡­?¡±


    - ¡°The Court was about to surrender by a majority, it would not be hard to press the Queen to approve of it.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s not easy to corner the Queen, Von. Her will is absolute, no matter what the Court thinks.¡±


    - ¡°But even then-¡±


    - ¡°But even then, you are not the one keeping the war going. You are one of many forces, but it¡¯s inevitable. It will happen, it has to.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Why do you want to keep the war going, Arsamira?¡±


    - ¡°Because it is inevitable. It¡¯s all or nothing. They will attack us at any moment, and we will march to war. I¡¯m not about to give my country away-... wrapped up in a pretty box.¡±


    - ¡°¡­That¡¯s it?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m trying to do what¡¯s best for my people, and that¡¯s protecting their home.¡±


    - ¡°But isn¡¯t going to war just... sending them to die?¡±


    - ¡°It won¡¯t be. That¡¯s why you are here.¡±


    - ¡°That sounds like a bad decision.¡±


    - ¡°You agreed to do this, Von. You can¡¯t back out now.¡±


    I glared at him.


    - ¡°Sorry. No pressure.¡± - He looked away. - ¡±I know you are doing your best ¨C It¡¯s just... Well. This is stressful. If you told me, four years ago, that we were going to war- I would¡¯ve laughed. But here it is, in front of me¡­. I mean... I¡¯m not even ruling yet. We can¡¯t afford to lose; we can¡¯t afford to live with such shame.¡±


    - ¡°¡­It¡¯s a lot to deal with¡­ I-¡­ I also don¡¯t want this kingdom to disappear.¡±


    - ¡°With you by my side, it won¡¯t. It can¡¯t. Stay by my side, Von. We can do this together.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ I will try. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing, but whatever it is, I¡¯ll try my best.¡±


    - ¡°Thanks. And¡­ thanks for the pie, too. Shall we get going?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes, yes. Let¡¯s go. Was the tea okay, too?¡±


    - ¡°Decent enough.¡±


    - ¡°Hmm. I¡¯ll ask Loe for tips.¡±


    - ¡°Oh! Then I¡¯d be glad to be your judge.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Ah, sure. That would be nice.¡± - He smiled at me as we started to walk towards the room.


    The dark seemed to vanish around him, as if his smile alone was enough to light up the halls.


    Lightning gleamed and thunder struck - I held his sleeve, a trembling mess. He didn¡¯t seem to mind; he just softly patted my back.


    And finally, in front of my room, he turned to me.


    - ¡°I believe in you, okay?¡±


    - ¡°¡­ I know.¡± ¨C I tried to smile a bit.


    - ¡°Sleep well.¡±


    - ¡°You too.¡±


    He nodded and walked away after one last pat on my shoulder. The sharp light of the prince faded before my eyes. I spent a moment in the dark listening to the storm. The halls changed shape in the corners of my eyes, as my breathing slowly became steady ¨C heartbeat harmonizing with the crackling of the storm. As lightning illuminated from behind - my body tensing up, I slightly opened the door. It was my room - it was still there. What was there to doubt? In the dark, well- a lot.


    I spent a few more moments thinking.


    - ¡°I¡¯m walking on thin fucking ice aren¡¯t I.¡±


    It will be fine.


    I walked inside, the candid warmth of refuge welcoming me with open arms.


    I found Kio sleeping there, sitting next to my bed, and the sansa sleeping on his head. The sight alone was so gentle, my tired body relaxed to the point all I wanted to do was sleep. I dragged my feet towards my bed, leaving the basket next to Kio.


    It was finally the end of the day. It had felt so long, I was so exhausted, that when I was greeted by the silky bed sheets and the warmth of darkness - and a dreamless void of ethereal consciousness ¨C I gently held to it, as it cradled me away from reality, curled in my fluffy etrine cape.

 16 - Hovered over

    Even if night seemed never-ending, the sun rose again; open curtains letting it through, sunshine fell on my tired eyes. It did not feel like I had slept, but then again ¨C when was I not tired?


    It felt as if my eyes were sealed shut with sand.


    Loe laughed at my morning face and served me the morning¡¯s glass of water.


    - ¡°You slept for half a day, sir - how are you feeling? I was surprised to not see you in bed by midnight!¡±


    - ¡°You slept for half a day, sir - how are you feeling? I was surprised to not see you in bed by midnight!¡±


    - ¡°Gub monin¡­ Uh? Wait, you clean at night too¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, sometimes I do- Why?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, uh¡­ since you knew I wasn¡¯t here¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, that- Well, this time, I was mostly just keeping Kio company last night, figured we could have some tea while he waited. Not much to do more than change some towels. That aside¡­ Were you alright? Walking around the palace during a storm- you had us worried.¡±


    - ¡°Sorry¡­ I was with the prince. I had made some app- parcena pie.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes! I put the basket there, on your desk, sir. What a strange thing - you baked it yourself, you said?¡±


    - ¡°Yup. Uhh¡­ Is Kio outside or¡­?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, yes, yes- do you want me to call him in?¡±


    - ¡°Please. I need to apologize for making him wait for so long. He even had to sleep here.¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t think that he minds at all, sir. I think I¡¯m done already, so I¡¯ll leave you three be.¡± - She said as she opened the door.


    - ¡°Uh? You are lea- You three?¡±


    That question was answered when the sansa appeared out of nowhere, jumping straight into my face - landing with its little back claws digging into my cheeks. I tried to pull it off, but it kept grabbing my hair, so I just gave up. Kio rushed in to help me, growling at it.


    - ¡°Sorry sir! It kept stepping on your face while you slept so I took it outside- But it kept coming back and scratching at the door.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine- It¡¯s fine. Thank you for taking care of it.¡± ¨C I sat on the edge of the bed, stretching. ¨C ¡°I¡¯m glad the storm is over.¡±


    Loe spoke to us from the doorway. - ¡°And what a storm it was! Some windows broke because branches came flying from the garden- The library was soaked this morning! Good thing the books were safe, but the carpet was ruined.¡±


    - ¡°Oh. Poor Mizuen. Is he alright?¡± ¨C If anything, I was glad Loe didn¡¯t mind talking about how close they were, despite how embarrassed they were the previous day.


    - ¡°He came crying to me about how his poor and fragile signed copy of Toescati was now ruined.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, that sounds awful-¡±


    - ¡°But the book is completely fine! It just fell down from his desk and a page got bent!¡±


    - ¡°Oh, what a tragedy.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s literally fine!¡± ¨C She laughed. ¨C ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll be leaving now. Remember sir, if you need anything, just look for me.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you Loe.¡± ¨C I waved to her. ¨C ¡°Take care.¡±


    Kio also waved, the sansa now crawling down his arm. I grabbed it and put it on the bed.


    - ¡°Sir, excuse me- not to pry, but... what¡¯s with Loe and sir Mizuen?¡±


    - ¡°They are dating, I think?¡±


    - ¡°Oh, oh, alright. Were you alright yesterday, by the way?¡±


    - ¡°Uh, I did get lost, but- like- I was fine, don¡¯t worry. I made parcena pie.¡±


    - ¡°I saw! It¡¯s a shame it got cold.¡±


    - ¡°Oh- It¡¯s better cooled down. Lemme go get it.¡±


    - ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you get dressed first, sir?¡±


    - ¡°Eh, who minds?¡±


    - ¡°Fair. May I have a slice?¡±


    - ¡°Kio, I saved all of this for you.¡±


    - ¡°¡­You did?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah. I don¡¯t eat that much.¡±


    - ¡°Ah- Thank you so much, sir! I¡¯m honored to eat what you made for me!¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s fine. Should we get some tea?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯ll go then! I¡¯ll be back soon!¡±


    I used that time to get dressed anyway..


    So, breakfast was lively ¨C and a lot of fun. The rest of the day was just as eventful.


    The aftermath of the storm had everyone running around fixing and cleaning, so Daien saw a chance to teach me a few things. While helping with the repairs, of course.


    Little movements, controlled slips of magic ¨C we helped lift and bend things, we helped provide light and water, just little things. I was, of course, exhausted already because of the previous night, so I mostly focused on lighting candles for those who wandered into dark rooms.


    To say- well, I did try. Most of the time it would be no more than a spark ¨C and the moment I¡¯d get distracted, I¡¯d almost burn the ceiling again.


    To avoid the shame of falling asleep in the middle of the dining hall, I wandered around the halls until my internal compass led me to the kitchen. The lunch-time rush made it so that I could sneak in, steal a bagel, and leave.


    The evening was spent out on the garden¡¯s terrace, writing while watching the birds bathe in the puddles left behind.


    Kio had been busy after breakfast ¨C the river had overflowed, so he was helping with the rescue of a few goats, as well as the ordeal of fixing houses and carrying fallen trees. So the rest of the day, Arsamira kept me company, talking about his day every once in a while.


    And that is how a few days went by - training and writing. The sansa stayed with me all those days, too comfortable to want to leave. We got used to sleeping together, once the matter of stepping on my face and trying to suffocate me to death was solved.


    That, added to the occasional visit to the apothecary and the late-night chats with Loe, made a week or two go by quickly.


    I got along with the workers, hung around the kitchen.


    Meanwhile, I kept thinking. I had received word from the Princess about the kidnapping incident. It was during a morning in which we¡¯d decided to try a new blend of tea together - the janpora finally had berries.


    - ¡°While we could not really do much about him, as he wasn¡¯t directly involved, I was able to have a little chat with the Koen you mentioned. The rebellion has been getting loud lately, he apologized about the damage that has been done to you.¡±


    - ¡°You went to talk with a rebel?¡±


    - ¡°Why, yes. We both have the wellbeing of the people as our priority, even if we are against each other. Koen understood that, as their leader, so there are certain topics he¡¯s open to discuss with me. He may be sly, but commoners can only know so much about how to operate a kingdom. It¡¯s natural he would be eager to talk with me.¡±


    - ¡°T-That¡¯s¡­ quite the thing.¡±


    - ¡°You might find value in getting acquainted with them too, Von. The nobles already believe my brother will do anything you say - don¡¯t you think having the rebels believe that, too, might prove useful in the future?¡±


    - ¡°I don¡¯t think I could do such a thing¡­¡±


    - ¡°Why? Becoming their voice to the nobles would grant you their favor.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes¡­ I just don¡¯t think they can stay calm with me around.¡±


    - ¡°Why is that?¡±


    - ¡°I just¡­don¡¯t know how we are going to do this, I can¡¯t give them answers nor confidence nor- maybe they are right and war is stupid.¡±If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    - ¡°War is stupid anyways! But it¡¯s not like our country is poor or lacking, so why are we struggling so much?¡±


    - ¡°Do we? All I¡¯ve seen is nobles giving up, saying there isn¡¯t enough for a war.¡±


    - ¡°Those are matters you¡¯ll have to discuss with the treasurer. I know of no noble that isn¡¯t rich.¡± ¨C She smiled before sipping on her tea. ¨C ¡°I, for sure, wouldn¡¯t be drinking this delicious tea if my people were poor and in need.¡±


    I let her words steep in my mind as the day went away.


    Surprising it was that I barely left the castle ¨C or maybe not, considering what happened last time I wandered the city, even after our little chat. Meetings with the captain did take place, though! Not much more than mere talks and updates ¨C but I did write a report.


    A report based on Mizuen¡¯s investigation, describing the multiple uses posporita could have if we were to incorporate explosives into the fight. I never got a proper answer to it, aside from a grunt when I handed it over, but Arsamira did tell me they had already been considering it, even from before my report.


    Later on, after an always-delicious lunch, I did finally manage to go out for a little stroll - despite Arsamira¡¯s protests. He sent a guard with me since Kio was still busy - which was quite ironic, ¡®cause I was going out to visit him by the river.


    The walk across the city was not long. I already knew the path towards the outskirts, yes, but it felt eternal, as I kept getting looks once again. There were whispers, murmurs, muttering. But there were also greetings, apologies ¨C some people felt sorry that I had such an experience. That this was not a common occurrence- that it¡¯s just the times, that it¡¯s normally a really safe place. That they were sorry the ¡°Prince¡¯s chosen one¡± was in danger, asking if I could forgive them. That it was probably ¡°those rebel kids who want to cause a ruckus, they don¡¯t respect no one,¡± to ¡°please forgive them, they don¡¯t understand the Prince is doing his best for us.¡±


    It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s no problem, I¡¯m fine, no one got hurt.


    That feels like such a faraway whisper.


    The central plaza was left behind after a quick break, and I finally found Kio resting under a tree. He was wearing a hat ¨C he was wearing a hat, I tell you! Some sort of small tricorn made of leather! With a little feather on the side!


    I tried to hide my grin, but even the guard laughed a little.


    - ¡°Vo- Sir! Wh-Why are you here? It¡¯s-¡±


    - ¡°First of all, hi!¡±


    - ¡°Ah, yes, I apologize. Good afternoon, sir.¡±


    - ¡°Just say hi back, you dork.¡±


    - ¡°Why, I can¡¯t be so friendly in public-¡±


    - ¡°You are not working under me today, right? Then, I¡¯m just visiting a friend during his break.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Fair. Then, si- Von, what are you doing here? It could be dangerous.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s okay, I have a guard with me.¡±


    - ¡°I worry about your mental state too, si- Von.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m fine, I¡¯m fine! I mean- I wasn¡¯t. I think I was shaking the whole way; I don¡¯t know why I decided to walk ¨C well, probably because I hate myself. I don¡¯t know, sometimes I would feel the need to call my ex even when ever- I mean. Yes. I am.¡±


    - ¡°You don¡¯t talk like that when you are okay. Come sit with me sir, I have some cookies if you¡¯d like.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, sure. Uh, Adeile, have you eaten lunch yet?¡± ¨C I asked the guard.


    - ¡°No sir, my shift had not ended when I got assigned to you.¡±


    - ¡°Ah! Here, Arsamira gave me some money- Go have lunch, alright? I will be here with Kio, I¡¯ll be okay, so go take a break.¡±


    - ¡°Sir, I¡¯m afraid I canno-¡±


    - ¡°Then should I order you? That way you have no responsibility if something happens.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Von, I think you are making him uncomfortable.¡± ¨C Kio whispered to me.


    - ¡°A-Am I? I don¡¯t want him to have to wait if I¡¯m just going to be chatting with you!¡±


    - ¡°Sir, if I may-¡° ¨C Adeile tried to say ¨C ¡°I will be around the area, having lunch as you ordered. It is not my intention to inconvenience you with my presence.¡±


    - ¡°Right- Sorry. You aren¡¯t¡­ Uh, nevermind. Go, go. I don¡¯t want to feel bad for making you miss lunch. Come back in an hour, please.¡±


    And so he left after a quick goodbye.


    Kio questioned me.


    - ¡°That was weird- are you okay?¡±


    - ¡°W-Why?¡±


    - ¡°You just- Well, ordered him around.¡±


    - ¡°Oh lord I did- I did.¡±


    - ¡°So it wasn¡¯t intentional.¡±


    - ¡°I think the Arsamira is rubbing on me too much.¡±


    - ¡°Pffftt- It¡¯s a good thing that you are trying to act as your reputation demands. It just seemed weird. Show more confidence! Relaxed body, open arms.¡±


    - ¡°It ain¡¯t fair, now. You do it without even trying ¨C being charismatic and all.¡±


    - ¡°Oh, I wish.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Oh¡­ Uh, I¡¯m sorry-¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s alright sir- Von! If it seems effortless, it just means I¡¯m that good at it.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m going to need some of that today¡­¡±


    - ¡°Huh? Why? Have you got any special plans?¡±


    - ¡°I was thinking about¡­ the money. The money we don¡¯t have for the army. And the foreign market. We need to arm the soldiers... and the Captain isn¡¯t moving quickly enough.¡±


    - ¡°Well, but- you should leave that to the prince, sir.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s my job to be of use. I shouldn¡¯t be waiting for others to do what I know needs to be done. I know that in reality I have no power and no title, but I do have Arsamira¡¯s support.¡±


    - ¡°Y-You are going to get yourself into trouble, sir. The nobles could come for you if they see you are getting too involved.¡±


    - ¡°Maybe. But they are hiding money from the crown.¡±


    - ¡°¡­I¡¯ve heard things like that, about Count Latrei¡¯s massive fortune. But sir, you can¡¯t depend only on rumors.¡±


    - ¡°That¡¯s why I was going to talk to the treasurer.¡±


    - ¡°The sheep?¡±


    - ¡°The princess insisted quite a bit on it, so I¡¯d say he¡¯s trustworthy.¡±


    - ¡°Please don¡¯t do this. So many things have already happened, I-¡±


    - ¡°I will be fine, Kio. I doubt they want to get on the bad side of the beloved Prince.¡±


    - ¡°¡­It¡¯s not like I can stop you, I suppose. I¡¯ll finish this job and be back soon, sir. I¡¯ll do everything I can to protect you.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you, Kio.¡±


    We kept chatting for a while- making a few jokes, talking about the days we had been apart. He told me about the food he ate, the birds he saw, about the goats he rescued, the people that thanked him. I put my head on his shoulder and listened to every word. I guess after a few days, I had already been missing his company.


    The hour passed ¨C too quickly, I¡¯d say.


    Back at the castle ¨C (or palace? I¡¯d never stopped to think it through - it wasn¡¯t actually a palace, it was more of a weird mix of a mansion, a greenhouse, and a castle that somehow just looked right.) ¨C I kept thinking about a few little things. There was nothing planned for the evening, and there was a certain topic to address.


    - ¡°Adeile, could you take me to Treasurer Sheqipi¡¯s office?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, sir. Please come this way.¡±


    It was in a secluded corner of the second floor, one of its doors stuck in place by overgrown vines. It had just a small plaque, ¡°Treasury Paper-Office¡± would be the most accurate translation of it. Above the plaque, a carved ron-k¨®n that held it in place. Knock knock.


    - ¡°C-Come in, yes. The door is open!¡±


    And thus I did. ShepiSheqipi was pushing things aside on his desk as I opened the door - knocking some important-looking papers off.


    - ¡°Are you okay? I mean- Good evening.¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes, I¡¯m okay. Good evening we are having, indeed. The day has been lotta breezy, it feels fresh in the fur- aH. Sorry, sorry. Come, sit down, please. What can I do for you?¡±


    - ¡°Thank you.¡± ¨C Oh golly, what a comfy chair that one was. ¨C ¡°Well, I have a few questions, and I was told you were the best person to answer them.¡±


    Sheqipi, the sheep. You could hear the tap of his hooves under the table, a light tap, and the sound of the wind passing through the holes in the wall ¨C the vines took over the whole right window and the pillars, making the room seem like an amalgamation of ruin and elegance. In the very corner of the palace, the window in front of me that was still intact - it looked out at the backside of the city - a place I hadn¡¯t visited yet.


    Small farms and fancy houses of powerful merchants, all the way to the forest.


    That was the eastern part of the Reion forest.


    I looked down.


    Better to not waste time.


    There was an unspoken tension with my presence there. My body went stiff.


    - ¡°...So, what is it? I¡¯ll do my best to answer what I can, if you would be so kind as to answer a question of mine.¡±


    - ¡°One for one per moon, was the saying?¡±


    - ¡°One for one to reach the moon, actually.¡±


    - ¡°Oh- well, uh¡­ Right. I wanted to talk to you about the foreign market. No - actually, the fact that there is a second coin only accessible by the nobles.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, that¡­ It¡¯s just a prelude to opening our borders to external trade. We want to do it slowly, so that people don¡¯t fall to the entrapment of debt. We do not possess a bank in the way a traditional kingdom would, after all. That system is, unsurprisingly, controlled by the Ur-Union, which we do not wish to belong to.¡± - He looked down, fixing some papers.


    - ¡°But that power doesn¡¯t have any effect here, does it?¡±


    - ¡°It is not our wish to become entangled in a system with which we have no experience. As this land originally worked under a barter system, we treasure that feeling of unity. We wouldn¡¯t want the people to feel as though their money belongs to an institution and not to them. That aside, it¡¯s in our best interests to not pick a fight with the Union.¡±


    - ¡°Then, may I ask another thing?¡±


    - ¡°What thing?¡±


    - ¡°Where did all the nobles get that money, in the first place? If the foreign market has been open for less than five (5) years, then how is it possible that they could amass such a fortune without the incredible loss of converting their nur to- what¡¯s the coin called?¡±


    - ¡°Our foreign trade coin? It¡¯s called mana, it¡¯s commonly used within the northern region.¡±


    - ¡°Yes, mana. Nur is basically useless in the foreign market; how did they make that money? It couldn¡¯t have been by exchanging one for the other. So, that means they must have exchanged goods directly for mana - but if they did only that, the economy of such a small and balanced kingdom wouldn¡¯t survive. There is something hidden here, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    - ¡°It may be hidden for the people for the mere reason that they need not to involve themselves in this. In reality, it¡¯s no more than royalty exchanging services and highly skilled mages to the land of Helan, as part of our alliance as the future Da¨®n Union.¡±


    - ¡°A union?¡±


    - ¡°Yes, sir. The Northern lands have no known contracts inside the Ur-Union, thanks to their hostile relationships with Morne-tea, where the Ur-Union¡¯s main headquarters are. We have used our contacts to ally ourselves with them.¡±


    - ¡°But that isn¡¯t relevant to my question, is it? That- that isn¡¯t some hidden thing.¡±


    - ¡°It is, sir. This isn¡¯t an official union, nor are the people aware of the crown¡¯s activities. In the meantime, we keep our relationships with the Northern Lands as friendly as we can afford with commercial trade and the citizens exchange program.¡±


    - ¡°So they are selling things and people. Not only their work, but themselves, too.¡±


    - ¡°Our artisans are given back an appropriate amount for their services, and our mages are given the chance to work abroad, working as representatives of our traditions and skills.¡±


    - ¡°The artisans¡­ they get paid in nur, right? Isn¡¯t that just using them for cheap work?¡±


    - ¡°It might seem like it, but-¡±


    - ¡°The people don¡¯t know any better. It¡¯s enough for them, they can live happily with what they have. But- they don¡¯t know they are being robbed. They don¡¯t know the value of their own work!¡±


    - ¡°S-Sir- Please calm down, ayo.¡±


    - ¡°Ah-¡­sorry, sorry. But- Maybe I wouldn¡¯t get so worked up if you answered my question.¡±


    - ¡°But I did, sir. As much as I can without putting my life at risk.¡±


    - ¡°There must be something else. Something that explains how the Director became so rich. How can you have a fortune in this kind of economy through simple, small-scale trade? There is no major industry to depend on.¡±


    - ¡°The Dire-¡­Oh, Count Latrei. His fortune is inherited, as most are. I guess the difference is that he does not make use of it.¡±


    - ¡°Because it¡¯s stolen money?¡±


    - ¡°It could be considered stolen - if there were lack and poverty. But there is none amongst our people.¡±


    - ¡°There is a war going on, and there is, supposedly, no money for your people to fight it.¡±


    - ¡°Do you perhaps plan to go knocking on noble doors and beg for funds?¡±


    - ¡°Might as well do! I want to buy from the foreign market - whatever I can get a hold of, as long as it helps. I have no funds and nur alone won¡¯t do it, since it¡¯s, well - a foreign market. What other choice do I have?¡±


    - ¡°You owe me five (5) answers by now, sir. May I?¡±


    - ¡°Go on, then.¡±


    - ¡°Supplying the army - purchasing weapons through the foreign market - is not your main motive, right?¡±


    - ¡°¡­right.¡±


    - ¡°But rather, because you suspect there to be something unlawful going on, and thus plan to use it against the nobles, yes?¡±


    - ¡°M-Maybe?¡±


    - ¡°If I assured you that it¡¯s nothing unlawful, but that its nature is secretive due to a rather¡­ unique set of circumstances, would you believe me?¡±


    - ¡°No, not at all.¡±


    - ¡°Well, I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s the only answer I can give you. As I said, my life is on the line here.¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s okay, you can just say that I pushed you against the wall, sword in hand. I pillaged your office, I threatened you, all the yada yada.¡±


    - ¡°No, sir. That wouldn¡¯t be enough. You don¡¯t understand- if I answer, my life is gone. I¡¯m disposable, no one would bat an eye if I were gone.¡±


    - ¡°W-What- No you aren¡¯t-. They wouldn¡¯t throw you away like that. You¡¯re the treasurer-!¡±


    - ¡°They will, sir. You might have noticed already, it¡¯s not hard to see. I¡¯m not wanted here.¡± ¨C His dense white curls fell over the dark fur on his face as he lowered his head, his hands pressed together ¨C as if praying- no, begging.


    - ¡°Who is it?¡±


    - ¡°What?¡±


    - ¡°Who¡¯s going to get rid of you?¡±


    - ¡°¡­The Duke. Duke Meillar. But sir- please don¡¯t do anything stupid, you shouldn¡¯t concern yourself with m-¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯ll decide that for myself. My job is to make sure the people of this kingdom survive. Were-... Were I to cause your death with my¡­ irresponsibility, I would already have failed.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Sir¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sorry for causing you trouble with this.¡±


    Sheqipi was stunned for a second, a long second of tense silence. Then, started to laugh.


    - ¡°You have such a way with words, sir! Lords, I haven¡¯t met anyone as harmless as you in a long while. There was no point in being on guard, in the end.¡±


    - ¡°Is¡­is that a bad thing?¡±


    - ¡°Not at all! Hear me, I¡¯d rather you be simple than a genius, if you are the one who has to get us out of this mess.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m kind of getting offended.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, sorry, sorry! It¡¯s just funny. We were trying to be so proper at the start; I should have offered you some cookies instead. Let¡¯s have a more pleasant chat next time.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯d appreciate the cookies¡­ sure? But I do need information about the market. The princess herself offered to act as a mediator ¨C but I can¡¯t depend on her for everything. It might be risky, but I have to at least try to do things myself.¡±


    - ¡°You shouldn¡¯t. Didn¡¯t you almost get kidnapped not so long ago?¡±


    - ¡°Yes. Yet¡­ I don¡¯t know. I want to do more. I want to be in there, doing those things. I want to see things move by my own hand, feel like I¡¯m actually part of the story.¡±


    - ¡°So, that¡¯s why you were looking at how the nobles got their fortunes?¡±


    - ¡°I just want their cooperation. The common folk don¡¯t like information being hidden. The rebellion even less.¡±


    - ¡°Oh lords. You really- you really are ambitious.¡± ¨C He pressed the bridge of his nose. ¨C ¡°Your position is so unique¡­ You could rise above all ¨C the favor of the whole royal family is yours to relish. But you are looking to meddle against the power...¡±


    - ¡°Ah, I guess I am. It¡¯s hard to be aware of¡­ how much is on your shoulders. Carrying the hope of the people isn¡¯t for me. I really don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing! But -¡± - I laughed. - ¡°even if I didn¡¯t ask for this position, this influence - even if I don¡¯t have much of a choice, I have to make use of it.¡±


    - ¡°Ayo ayo, surely! Then, I¡¯ll look forward to seeing what you come up with - you, who has no idea what you¡¯re doing.¡±


    - ¡°That sounds like partnership, does it not?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m the treasurer. I¡¯m on the side of the kingdom. If you are, too, doing all of this for the kingdom¡¯s sake, then we are indeed partners.¡±


    - ¡°Then, what information can you give me, partner?¡±


    - ¡°I will make a list of the services available in the foreign market. That¡¯s all I can offer you.¡±


    - ¡°Ah, that¡¯ll be fine for now. The fortunes¡­ I will ask the princess to get that information for me instead. I don¡¯t wish to involve you further in this.¡± ¨C It was genuine, but he looked slightly terrified.


    - ¡°¡­Alright. Alright I will-! I will do what I can. Okay? Just¡­ Don¡¯t do anything stupid. You are already crossing too many lines.¡±


    - ¡°I am. But it¡¯s needed. And you are a good person, so I don¡¯t worry about you- but for you.¡±


    - ¡°I can¡¯t believe you are using your intuition as the base for all of this.¡±


    - ¡°I have nothing else! I want to help this kingdom, that¡¯s all. That¡¯s all I know. If push came to shove- if you had to choose, would you let the Duke live his fancy life while the people here are murdered?¡±


    - ¡°Well, but- Just saying that is already an attack against him. You should be more careful-¡±


    - ¡°But you said so yourself, didn¡¯t you? That I have the backup of the royal family.¡±


    - ¡°¡­ Sir, you are truly one of the stupidest people I have ever met. I hope you come to visit me again soon.¡± - He pointed at the door with his hand open, a tired smile on his face. I nodded and got up from the chair, my heart racing.


    - ¡°Alas. But I will come visit soon, in case the offer of the cookies is still available.¡±


    He laughed at me again, waving goodbye. I left the room shaking, barely able to stop myself from wheezing. I struggled trying to walk. I couldn¡¯t believe I was actually starting something, and not absolutely fucking it up.


    The day went away in a haze of manic panic, or so it seemed.

 17 - Fidelity

    I tiptoed to my room as fast as possible - head aching, hands sweating. I felt¡­ like I was floating. My heart had been left behind.


    Well, not really - it came back to hit me once I threw myself onto the bed.


    I think I spent a whole 10 minutes just screaming into my pillow.


    - ¡°What the hell am I doing? What the HELL am I doing?¡± ¨C Calm down, calm down. ¨C ¡°No but like what the hell. Gods I really just- I really just bluffed my way out of that oh lord.¡±


    A knock at the door.


    - ¡°How the hell am I going to make them use their money? ???Ni siquiera puedo hablar con gente sin morirme y la wea??? Like what the fuck??? I probably got him in trouble?? What if the treasurer gets killed? It¡¯s gonna be my fault!!!!¡±


    Another knock.


    - ¡°Von? Adeil¡­Adelai¡­Ad- The guard told me you were back already. Can I come in?¡±


    - ¡°Like hell you can-! AH! I mean! Uh- Sure, give me a, uh- a sec!¡±


    - ¡°¡­A sec?¡±


    After fixing up my hair and stuff, I went to open the door. There he was - Arsamira, in his fancy outfit, smiling at me.


    - ¡°What do you want? Sorry- Good evening.¡±


    - ¡°¡­You sure are nervous. Was the walk around Leva dangerous? Are you okay? Ad- Ael- The guard told me you were with that guy, your retainer. Did he do anything to you?¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯m fine, I¡¯m fine. That went well. I was just¡­ talking stuff¡­with the treasurer, just now¡­¡±


    - ¡°Sheqipi? What were you doing talking with him? You shouldn¡¯t hang out with people on the Duke¡¯s side.¡±


    - ¡°¡­So, the Duke... He¡¯s the one-¡­ I mean, uh¡­ What¡¯s up with the Duke?¡±


    - ¡°Let¡¯s sit down first? Von, you need to calm down a little. What did you talk about with Sheqipi?¡±


    - ¡°Sorry, sorry. I should have talked about this with you first. Since we are in this together and all¡­¡±


    His eyes lit up. His ever-present smile turned into a genuinely sweet smirk.


    - ¡°Yes! Exactly! We are partners! So, what was it, Von? What happened?¡±


    - ¡°Remember the report I made? About the posporita?¡±


    - ¡°Yeah, the Captain discussed it with me.¡±


    - ¡°I was trying to map out the amount of money we would need for that. It eats at least half of our funds. I don¡¯t think the Captain is thinking that through, so-¡±


    - ¡°He is, but¡­ He has to act according to what he has. We don¡¯t direct much funding to our troops, not even in war times.¡±


    - ¡°Right... And the princess told me about the foreign market.¡±


    - ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t like where this is going.¡±


    - ¡°One thing brings another¡­ I asked for- well. I wanted to know how the nobles got so rich. I know it was something fishy. It- It definitely is.¡±


    - ¡°That is pretty straight-forward of you.¡±


    - ¡°I know they are hiding their fortunes while we are struggling to make ends meet for the army.¡±


    - ¡°¡­And what do you plan to do with that information?¡±


    - ¡°The princess talked with the leader of the rebellion the other day.¡±


    - ¡°Hold it right there Von. No, no nonononono. Ayo. No. Just- no. They tried to kidnap you, right? That¡¯s not-¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    - ¡°The leader cannot control everyone. But they do pay for their actions. I won¡¯t blame him for what a few followers did¡­ And, that blame can be used to our advantage. I¡¯m sure that if the people knew that the reason the nobles don¡¯t want to go to war is not to protect the people, but to protect their fortunes, they would rise up.¡±


    - ¡°This is- is dangerous! It¡¯s too risky! You could be targeted by the nobles- What were you thinking? Why did you even-¡±


    - ¡°Well¡­ I have your backup, don¡¯t I? I¡¯d like to think I can trust in your support.¡±


    - ¡°You should have told me about this earlier!¡±


    - ¡°If I did you would have stopped me-¡±


    - ¡°Of course I would have!¡±


    - ¡°But it¡¯s true, right? That I have your support?¡±


    - ¡°You- I- Agh.¡±


    - ¡°Are you mad? That I¡¯m using you, now? I¡¯m just trying to do my job here.¡±


    - ¡°Shut up¡­! Well¡­ Good work, I guess. It¡¯s true that they are hiding money. It¡¯s not nur, so the crown can¡¯t make direct use of it without people suspecting something.¡±


    - ¡°Right-... Ah. I will need access to the market, too. I need to see what other options we have. The Princess offered to do it for me, but I¡¯d rather make the deals myself.¡±


    - ¡°You are getting too far ahead of yourself again.¡±


    - ¡°I am - that¡¯s why I need you.¡±


    - ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll help you. I don¡¯t want you getting hurt or something again.¡±


    - ¡°Thank you, Your Majesty.¡±


    - ¡°Quit that. And why did you actually go talk to Sheqipi? He could be telling the Duke right now.¡±


    - ¡°I trust him. If he weren¡¯t trustworthy, the princess wouldn¡¯t have insisted as such.¡±


    - ¡°You give my sister too much credit. She¡¯s still 16 moons old, Von. Remember what I told you, stop getting in trouble.¡±


    - ¡°Then why are you smiling so much, Arsa?¡±


    - ¡°¡­It feels like the start of something between us. That¡¯s all.¡±


    - ¡°Something between you and me? It¡¯s just a simple partnership.¡±


    - ¡°Are you really going to push your luck this much, Von? If I wanted, I could make you mine.¡±


    - ¡°Sorry, not my type.¡±


    - ¡°So what is it - your type?¡±


    - ¡°Like I¡¯d tell you, dumbass. And? Why did you come here?¡±


    - ¡°Ah, why did I- Right! You probably don¡¯t know, but my birthday is coming soon.¡±


    I totally did know; he had been talking about it the whole week.


    - ¡°And?¡±


    - ¡°One of my presents arrived this morning. I wanted you to be the first one to see it.¡±


    We walked together to his room, then. I had never been to Arsamira¡¯s room before, but I had a pretty accurate idea of how it looked. The fancy, elegant, delicate ambience given a homely touch ¨C a feeling of caring about appearances, but not letting it take away the fun. The amount of memorabilia in Arsamira¡¯s suite was equal to a grandma¡¯s. It was cute in its own way.


    It was divided into three rooms, actually. A little study, the first room you enter; neatly placed books next to his favorite swords, a few paintings of scenery and myths, and a few scarves on the coat hanger. The second room was his bedroom - the bed facing at the door, obscured, laid in front of a massive window. It felt grandiose. The shadows and gleams from the translucent curtains danced with the wind as Arsamira opened the window. Behind it was a plant-covered terrace, its white floor turned yellow by the falling sun.


    The other room was, well, the bathroom.


    We sat on a snuggly couch in front of a box. A box with a sort of cone atop it - one that looked like a flower vase. Arsamira lifted its covert ¨C there was space to put a square disk. It took me an extra minute to notice that this flower-vase-topped-box was just a strangely-shaped vitrola. The Prince smiled at me, shining brighter than the sunset.


    - ¡°It came from the West Continent. Imagine, listening to music in your room, without needing an actual musician! Just these little posketes!¡±


    (Note: Posketes that, for the sake of my own memory, I¡¯ll translate as disks.)


    - ¡°¡­Oh. That¡¯s- Ah... I¡­¡± ¨C missed music so much. I tried to not think about it, but it was lonesome. For someone who used to listen to music 24/7, it all felt empty. Noises were too much; silence was too much. ¨C ¡°I haven¡¯t listened to music in a while¡­¡±


    - ¡°Let me wind this then!¡± ¨C The system seemed to be the same as back home, a little¡­ dial? Of sorts. It looked more like a screw. Then, a click announced that the disk was secured to the center. Said little black disk started spinning around a needle on its base. Arsamira put the cover back on - the flower-vase square top.


    A strange melody started playing. A grainy tone and bad quality. It was like the early morning in sepia, from memories gone. Daisies and dandelions brushed by the breeze, as the yellow-tinted sky was covered by clouds. Like a hop around the riverbend. Like stepping on stones you¡¯ve never seen before.


    It broke - the melody. Instruments that weren¡¯t quite familiar, yet sounded like home. The winds and the strings, like crying rainfall, covered the sepia sky in grey and brown. I closed my eyes. The plaid blanket for a left-away picnic, the splashing of a frog in the pond. Giant trees in the distance, emptiness in the hills. A beast of memories lurked in the dark of the storm. The feeling of life that wasn¡¯t quite life, full of hope and broken dreams.


    Time went by just like the sound, and it ended with the droplets of a little drum, saying goodbye to what it was. My heart flew away in pain.


    Oh, god, how much had I missed music.


    (Spare me from the weight of what I tried to ignore.)


    I started sobbing in silence, hiding my face from the sun. The sun stared at me, gently brushing against my back.


    - ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Are you okay, Von?¡±


    - ¡°Y-Yes¡­ Yes I¡¯m okay. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m okay.¡±


    As if he understood, Arsamira held me in his arms with care. How did music in this world sound? I had never thought about it. It was haunting ¨C it seemed so human, but it wasn¡¯t human enough. It could never be human, not in the way I was human. Not in the way I experienced humanity.


    What was humanity?


    I looked at Arsamira.


    - ¡°Arsa¡­ Do you think I¡¯m human?¡±


    - ¡°W-What?¡±


    - ¡°Do you think I¡¯m human¡­ of the Versivae, a versiva the same as you?¡±


    - ¡°I-I don¡¯t think you are a versiva. You aren¡¯t from this world¡­ It is a different thing, a human, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    - ¡°Right¡­? Versiva, human, niwe, we live life differently, even if we are pretty much the same¡­ Is that why this music sounds like it does?¡±


    - ¡°How does it sound?¡±


    - ¡°Like it¡¯s not of humans. It feels like music of the Versivae. It feels like you, like your world and your people. It¡¯s so close - so close to home. But it will never be home.¡±


    - ¡°¡­Do you miss your home, Von?¡±


    - ¡°I do, of course I do. I miss our music, our food, our land. I never truly felt at home anywhere, but¡­ This is a violent¡­ dissociation. I¡­really¡­ don¡¯t belong here. And that, ah, kind of hurts¡­¡±


    - ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­. it¡¯s okay.¡± ¨C He whispered to me, brushing my hair. ¨C ¡°It will be fine.¡±


    I wanted to answer. I wanted to be bitter about it, to blame him or something. Words didn¡¯t come out, just broken cries. Formless exhalations. Like begging in silence, hoping you won¡¯t be heard.


    I laid on his shoulder, dry throat, stiff jaw, and a throbbing headache. I wasn¡¯t able to cry.


    To not feel human because I felt too human. What a sick twist the gods lay upon me.


    We shared the evening until the sun went down. For once, in peace. Something inside me told me to be wary. To go away.


    But I felt so lonely.


    He kept me close, warm as the setting sun. It burned.


    Then night would come, cold and dark. No light, no warmth next to me.


    But isn¡¯t it hard to stay away ¨C when you need embrace so badly?


    It had been a hard day.


    It was okay to rest this once.


    Time started again, as we stepped out of the room. Dinner, as always. Night, as always. Such is the working of time.


    I stared at the far away sky until my eyes gave way. Embraced by the darkness of a single candle, its fire gone, I held myself. There was a gleam of hope, as if, if I grasped hard enough, the warmth would stay.


    They were dreams filled with the melody we heard together. It colored them with life long gone, a feeling of alienated love. The sansa curled in my arms, calm ¨C the night was still, silent. The world was asleep, heartbeat in the distance.


    Those were drums, echoing in the valley.