《Manifesto》 Prologue Hi, to whoever is reading this. This book is a collection of ideas, discussions, and emotions. I don¡¯t know how my readers will perceive this book ¨C a journal, a vent, or a suicide note. Either way, I¡¯m probably dead by now. Or I¡¯m alive, but you¡¯ll just never see me, because I don¡¯t want you to see me. I half-jokingly intended this to be my suicide note. I wanted it to be like a summary of my mind, whatever that means. Now I don¡¯t know what it is anymore, so I published it, and I¡¯ll see how it goes. I have OCD. And I¡¯m bipolar. And I¡¯m trans. And I¡¯m queer. You get the point. The only word to describe it is ¡°tiring¡±. I constantly pinch my nose and my neck, because otherwise I get uncomfortable. I close the bathroom door with a lock because I absolutely hate bathrooms. I check the time constantly. I spend time every morning making sure my socks are the exact same height. I wipe my glasses so much my hand hurts. I have gotten alcohol poisoning from Dettol seven times because I use it too frequently. Ties are a pain in the ass because the dip has to be perfect. There has to be the same amount of weight in each jacket pocket. When I look right, I look left to ¡°balance it out¡±. Books and papers must be in the exact middle of the table when I put them down. The tip of pens cannot face me. There are so many tics and compulsive actions that I have, I''ve lost count - I use to have a list, but I stopped writing things down when it got to over two pages. I also hate being around humans. Every time I walk into a room full of people, all I can think about is the sweat, saliva, mucus, and the churning organs in their body, and the smell of bad breath, and all the wax, and bacteria, and waste. I can''t even hug someone without feeling nauseous and yet I desire to touch people so much. I hate it. I am repulsed by myself; I am repulsed by others; I am repulsed by everything. There was this one time where I was in Singapore with my family, it was supposed to be a fun trip, but the entire time I just thought about how I wanted to cut my brother''s ears off so his head would be smooth, and how satisfying that would be. And I don¡¯t regret it because it was enjoyable. But I want to. I want to regret it so much.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. And my compulsions go beyond the physical. I want to be purely logical and always just think about science and math. I have this deep belief carved into my mind, that anything other than logic is irrational, sensitive, weak, degenerate and unimportant. I just keep trying to be an ideal. A perfect entity. A fucking machine. Even though I want to stop, even though I know it''s not healthy, even though I know it''s not true, I still can''t get it out of my head. There''s just this constant voice that''s always reminding me how irrational I am, and stop, fix it, now. Logic and rationality are the only things that matter because emotions are bad, they are useless and a waste, it is a biological burden, a primal instinct, and we should use our best efforts to completely get rid of it. How obsessed do people have to be with material flesh that they constantly worry about humans instead of bigger things, right? Not to even mention the whole transgender and sexuality part. So I want to kill myself. Sometimes (a lot of times) I think that I don¡¯t have a ¡°good enough reason¡± to be depressed. I always tell it off in my brain as a chemical imbalance ¨C but is that true? I haven¡¯t even done an MRI before. What if the feeling isn¡¯t innate? Enough about that. There are so many things I could say about my feelings ¨C doesn¡¯t mean you, as the reader, wants to know about it. I refer to a person called Neil a lot in this book, and the conversations with them I wrote about are real, but Neil is not their real name. Not everything in this book is real. Just so you know. So. Everything in here is really political and idealistic. I wrote a lot about ¡°my system¡±, which you will read about later. This entire book can be interpreted as a criticism to the status quo, or a fantasy about a better but unachievable life. I am hopelessly pessimistic, stubborn, and libertarian. The friends around me have either described me as altruistic or masochistic for my complete disregard and nonchalance towards the wellbeing of myself and humanity, and my almost worship like belief towards transhumanism and technology; others have described me as selfish or cynical for my criticism of social norms, morals and just in general, other people¡¯s feelings. My personality and opinions fluctuate with my emotions, so you will be reading a lot of contradicting and different radical passages in this book. My entire mind is just a messy debate, I am nothing but an angsty furball of opposing viewpoints. Welcome to hell. I have nothing else to say. I hope you enjoy (you probably won¡¯t enjoy) the book. Just as a warning though, it will be messy, weird, and overwhelming to read ¨C so be ready. Best Regards, Subatomic Prologue Hi, to whoever is reading this. This book is a collection of ideas, discussions, and emotions. I don¡¯t know how my readers will perceive this book ¨C a journal, a vent, or a suicide note. I actually half-jokingly intended this to be my suicide note. I wanted it to be like a summary of my mind, whatever that means. Now I don¡¯t know what it is anymore, so I published it, and I¡¯ll see how it goes. I have OCD. And I¡¯m bipolar. And I¡¯m trans. And I¡¯m queer. You get the point. The only word to describe it is ¡°tiring¡±. I constantly pinch my nose and my neck, because otherwise I get uncomfortable. I close the bathroom door with a lock because I absolutely hate bathrooms. I check the time constantly. I spend time every morning making sure my socks are the exact same height. I wipe my glasses so much my hand hurts. I have gotten alcohol poisoning from Dettol seven times because I use it too frequently. Ties are a pain in the ass because the dip has to be perfect. There has to be the same amount of weight in each jacket pocket. When I look right, I look left to ¡°balance it out¡±. Books and papers must be in the exact middle of the table when I put them down. The tip of pens cannot face me. There are so many tics and compulsive actions that I have, I''ve lost count - I use to have a list, but I stopped writing things down when it got to over two pages. I also hate being around humans. Every time I walk into a room full of people, all I can think about is the sweat, saliva, mucus, and the churning organs in their body, and the smell of bad breath, and all the wax, and bacteria, and waste. I can''t even hug someone without feeling nauseous and yet I desire to touch people so much. I hate it. I am repulsed by myself; I am repulsed by others; I am repulsed by everything. There was this one time where I was in Singapore with my family, it was supposed to be a fun trip, but the entire time I just thought about how I wanted to cut my brother''s ears off so his head would be smooth, and how satisfying that would be. And I don¡¯t regret it because it was enjoyable. But I want to. I want to regret it so much.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. And my compulsions go beyond the physical. I want to be purely logical and always just think about science and math. I have this deep belief carved into my mind, that anything other than logic is irrational, sensitive, weak, degenerate and unimportant. I just keep trying to be an ideal. A perfect entity. A fucking machine. Even though I want to stop, even though I know it''s not healthy, even though I know it''s not true, I still can''t get it out of my head. There''s just this constant voice that''s always reminding me how irrational I am, and stop, fix it, now. Logic and rationality are the only things that matter because emotions are bad, they are useless and a waste, it is a biological burden, a primal instinct, and we should use our best efforts to completely get rid of it. How obsessed do people have to be with material flesh that they constantly worry about humans instead of bigger things, right? Not to even mention the whole transgender and sexuality part. So I want to kill myself. Sometimes (a lot of times) I think that I don¡¯t have a ¡°good enough reason¡± to be depressed. I always tell it off in my brain as a chemical imbalance ¨C but is that true? I haven¡¯t even done an MRI before. What if the feeling isn¡¯t innate? Enough about that. There are so many things I could say about my feelings ¨C doesn¡¯t mean you, as the reader, wants to know about it. I refer to a person called Neil a lot in this book, and the conversations with them I wrote about are real, but Neil is not their real name. Not everything in this book is real. Just so you know. So. Everything in here is really political and idealistic. I wrote a lot about ¡°my system¡±, which you will read about later. This entire book can be interpreted as a criticism to the status quo, or a fantasy about a better but unachievable life. I am hopelessly pessimistic, stubborn, and libertarian. The friends around me have either described me as altruistic or masochistic for my complete disregard and nonchalance towards the wellbeing of myself and humanity, and my almost worship like belief towards transhumanism and technology; others have described me as selfish or cynical for my criticism of social norms, morals and just in general, other people¡¯s feelings. My personality and opinions fluctuate with my emotions, so you will be reading a lot of contradicting and different radical passages in this book. My entire mind is just a messy debate, I am nothing but an angsty furball of opposing viewpoints. Welcome to hell. I have nothing else to say. I hope you enjoy (you probably won¡¯t enjoy) the book. Just as a warning though, it will be messy, weird, and overwhelming to read ¨C so be ready. Best Regards, Subatomic On Perspective Neil: Do you fear growing old? Me: Do you mean growing old as aging near death or just growing up to be an adult? Neil: Not nearing death, but pretty old. Me: No...why would someone fear growing old? That¡¯s irrational. Maybe some people don¡¯t look forward to it, but I don¡¯t think anyone fears it. Neil: Well, as an old person, you really lack your potential to grow, and you lose your impact to society. Me: So what? I don¡¯t care about my impact to society. Neil: Don¡¯t you find the life of an elder to be boring and hopeless? Me: Boring? I got all the time to just think to myself. Hopeless, probably, but absurdism vs existential depression has always been a debate among people. And everyone has different views on the meaning, purpose and hope. Neil: Your brain probably also sucks when you¡¯re old. Me: Well, probably. Ignorance is bliss, what¡¯s wrong with bliss? Neil: That¡¯s so contradictory. I don¡¯t think you¡¯re ignorant. Me: But if I grow old and I become ignorant, then I¡¯m happy, right? Neil: I think you¡¯re just going to be dumb but wise, so you¡¯ll know that you¡¯re dumb but you can¡¯t do anything about it, thus creating a depressive vibe. Me: Yeah, that¡¯s probably true. If I know that I¡¯m going to be dumb then I¡¯ll definitely make an effort to not care about the fact that I¡¯m going to be dumb. Neil: The inevitability of mental decline results in even more depressive fear. Fears aren¡¯t rational ¨C we fear things that are inevitable like death or losing a loved one. So you¡¯ll still fear that you¡¯re going dumb. Me: Well. Of course fear isn¡¯t rational. People have an irrational fear of having irrational fear. Neil: That goes back to my point, there¡¯s nothing that we could do about it empirically that would stop aging, but we could change our mindsets to mitigate to depression. Me: Exactly my point. Neil: How do we mitigate old age depression? I¡¯m thinking more old age achievements. Me: There¡¯s not much you can do when you¡¯re old except for just sitting around all day. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a lot of achievements to be completed when you¡¯re old. Neil: I think that the mindset of the drop of mental ability is false. I mean, an old person could use their observations to create remarkable products, they just need the right mindset and motivation to do it. Me: What products? Neil: Warren Buffet mastered the market around 50 years old, through observation. Me: It¡¯s not about the mindset, it¡¯s about the facts; Just like the fact that adolescent minds are underdeveloped, and they can¡¯t think as well as adults. A good mindset might make it better but it¡¯s not a guarantee success. Neil: Yeah true. If our world is filled with elder entrepreneurs, I think it would be awesome as well, you know? Me: I don¡¯t think that¡¯s achievable based on the status quo, but yeah, it would be pretty cool. To have a world filled with older entrepreneurs, it means we must stop the improvement of the education system. Each generation is smarter than the last, thus creating younger innovators, but if we prevent them from getting smarter, we can have older entrepreneurs. From a general human species development prospective I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good idea. Neil: I don¡¯t think that the current education system is good enough to outweigh the years of observation. Me: That¡¯s debatable. With new technology, better health, more connection and more ideas, recent generations will have a longer lifespan, better mental capacities and be more cultured and in touch with the world than the last generation. Neil: I disagree that we would be more cultured, because we are often unexperienced, and we are drowned in information and spam. Me: Okay but ¨C take Gen Z as an example. 72% say they want to start a business, and we are very ambitious with two-thirds saying their goal in life is to make it to the top of their profession. We are also the best generation at multitasking, communicating, and researching, along with the fact that we are more tech competent than all past generations.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Neil: A brain is not built to multitask. We¡¯re more distracted than any other generation. We are more likely to quit than anyone else. Even if we are ambitious and competitive, the mindset it buildable for others as well. Me: Anyone is likely to quit. More information has its own downfalls, but it also means more entrepreneurs. Each generation can handle more information than the last, and it¡¯s exponentially growing. Plus, I haven¡¯t even talked about ¨C Gen Z are regarded as more cynical, we often have a more realistic outlook, which can be beneficial. Neil: We have an average attention span of 7 seconds; do you really expect us to make the world a better place? Me: You think you can¡¯t focus for more than 7 seconds? Yes, increased information is lowering attention spans for a lot of people, but it¡¯s also creating more people who are educated and curious, like you. Neil: That¡¯s not the average Gen Z. I don¡¯ think that our generation is really much better. We are more courageous and risk-favoring, but we are also more likely to give out empty promises that doesn¡¯t convert into diligent to-dos. Me: There aren¡¯t much statistics or studies, so I can¡¯t really make a decision on which generation makes the better entrepreneurs, but what I can say is that we are a much more technologically advanced, enthusiastic, engaging and active generation than the last, and we are coming up with new values and viewpoints on the world more than ever before. Neil: Unfounded viewpoints, nevertheless. Plus, technology isn¡¯t a skill. Me: Not talking about skills, I¡¯m talking about our generation¡¯s general culture and environment. Neil: The culture and environment right now is an overwhelming amount of information. I¡¯d say this situation is actually worse than 1984¡¯s lack of information, because in a lack you at least realize that you are lacking. Right now, you just feeling like you have the opportunity to achieve things but you never really do it. Me: Are you seriously arguing that 1984 is better than now? Yes, we have too much information and too little motivation. Yes, we have a shorter focus span. Yes, we all have a crippling social media addiction and crippling depression. But we are the most diverse and competitive generation anyone has ever seen. We are active and stubborn ¨C 99% of Gen Zs reported they have attended a protest, or posted about a protest, and more than 50% of YouTube creative influencers are under the age of 28. We are the generation that actually wants to make a change, and actually has the will to do it. Neil: We live in a world where hard work is not valued over cultural influence and popularity. We are twisted. It is harder to be successful these days, because it doesn¡¯t just take motivation ¨C it takes the ability to fight your human nature. The most distracting devices we have ever seen are hooking us up like drugs. Take me for an example, I am becoming more and more like a failure. Me: No success ever just comes from motivation. You need to have skill and money along with so many other things. Motivation is important but not the only factor in success. And, every generation has distracting devices, and successful people always fight human nature. Although now that you¡¯ve mentioned it, society today does have higher expectations, which can be stressful and depression. Neil: Yeah. We see all those people who have perfect lives on social media, making us unable to even take the first step. Me: A more pessimistic view is that throughout the years we have invented things to make our lives easier, but it has backfired. We invented cars as more efficient transportation, but now life without a car is hard. Imagine living without a phone ¨C it was normal a few decades ago, but now it is impossible because social standards have significantly changed. Life becomes more expensive and harder to maintain. It is kind of as if we are bounded by our own progress. Life these days is just politics and controversy. Corporations are not serving people anymore, rather they are focusing on gaining profit. People are getting even more stressed and depressed, and expectations will just get higher. Neil: That¡¯s right, humans could never reach true satisfaction. Gratification is never achievable. I think even if I have 10B or 20B or even 200B I would still be unhappy, because materialism cannot fulfill the void that I will never fell I am truly accepted for who I am. But without materialism it would be a testimony of my failure, so I have to achieve it, nevertheless. We now become successful not to become happy, but to become less unhappy. Me: This is very similar to a web novel I¡¯ve read, where it¡¯s in a totalitarian world, and the state induces propaganda telling everyone that if they work harder, they¡¯ll receive benefits. So, everyone starts working harder but gets nothing, so they work even harder, not realizing the goal is unachievable. But it¡¯s a functioning society, production has skyrocketed, and the workplace is extremely active. Neil: I think the solution comes down to a simple biological solution - refreshing our expectations by lowering them at the end of 24 hours, and we will feel the true gratification of our life. When I came back from COVID isolation back in March 2020 or when I came back from stabbing my hand a year ago, I felt true happiness and gratification. Me: No, the solution is to try and get rid of biological instincts so we won¡¯t feel depressed about life. I have a question; it¡¯s not really related but I want to discuss it. Neil: Sure. Me: Is it worth it to get rid of all emotions, where we can¡¯t feel sad, but we can¡¯t feel happy either? And just keep the ¡°logical¡± part of us? My opinion is yes, but my viewpoint is biased so I¡¯m asking for yours. Neil: I think then there would be no point of being logical because computers would do it better than us. Me: I was thinking that too. But if logicality is relative to emotions, and at the same time logicality and intellect are the goal, aren¡¯t we pursuing a "bad" goal? Neil: Logics are an aid to us for becoming happier by making better judgements. We would be more happy if we chose to not stab ourselves than if we did, and logic is there to prevent us from doing it. But without happiness, how will we be unique? Why would we even need to be logical? What would be the incentive to even live? Me: If we were logical, we wouldn¡¯t need an "incentive¡± since a sense of meaning and community are deeply sentimental. Neil: Yes, that is true, but then we would be lesser than the machines we built. Me: What¡¯s wrong with being machines? Why do we have such an attachment to being ¡°human¡±? Neil: Nothing, it¡¯s just that robots would quickly throw us out. ¡®Look at those sapiens, time to rid these old bunch of motherfuckers.¡¯ Me: Pfft. Neil: ¡®Hey, AI-45454646674, don¡¯t you think that Sapien IQ-107 over there is making a calculation mistake? Stupid. Our copies have been keeping up a 15-year streak. These Sapien slaves should really get wiped out.¡¯ This is becoming a solid, robust reality that everything we do should follow a hedonistic criterion, that is we should be happy, because we would not win in a logical fight. Me: HAHAHA; Alright, but in all seriousness - I don¡¯t think that would be the case. If the world were run by robots, there wouldn¡¯t even be conversation. There would just be a large machine, barely functioning to keep the earth alive. Just chunks of machinery. There will be no consciousness because there¡¯s no need. Neil: My point is that becoming a robot is great, except that we would be quickly outdated. And assuming that the purpose is not to preserve ¡°giant chunk of machine¡± but to preserve ¡°humanity¡±, we should follow whatever makes us overall happier. Me: Why is the focus on humanity? I mean, shouldn¡¯t the ultimate purpose not to preserve humanity but to simply just preserve? Neil: Preserve what? Me: Nothing. To simply just preserve. Live. Survive. To just function. Why should the focus be on humans? What makes us superior? Is It because we consider us ¡°conscious¡±? What the hell even is conscious? Just because a machine has a metal brain does it mean it cannot think? Neil: So the greatest interest of our species would be to preserve robots? Sounds overly altruistic. Me: Well not altruistic, I would say more like ¡°I generally don¡¯t give a shit if humanity dies out, please kill me¡±. Neil: Then we don¡¯t need to go through the entire procedure, let¡¯s just mass genocide. Our main concern shouldn¡¯t be whether there is ¡°net good¡± for the universe because we are not Gods, and even Gods only care about the net good of their created world. Me: Think about it, everything we deduce, say, think about is all a metanarrative, and even my idea of not having a metanarrative is a metanarrative, there¡¯s no truth. Everything is from a perspective, but there is no objective view of the world. So, I¡¯m challenging the view of focusing on humans. Neil: There¡¯s no truth, so we should be solely conservative. Me: No, there¡¯s no truth, so let¡¯s not make one up. Neil: Yeah, let¡¯s all just do whatever we want. Me: Sounds great. Neil: Except, don¡¯t go raping and killing random people on the street, this is from a philosophical point of view and a legal point of view. Me: Heh. ¡®Your honor, my client pleads guilty but nihilistic!¡¯ - End- Time Traveler I¡¯m a time traveler I live in a time of war Where people tell you what to follow, what to fight for I¡¯m a time traveler In our age we are dying We create gigantic waste People starve until they¡¯re dying I¡¯m a time traveler I contradict with others Don¡¯t like the way we liveThe tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. The way we think The way we hide and cover I¡¯m a time traveler I go to prehistoric times I find the origin of life When everything else is just politics and grime I¡¯m a time traveler I break the laws of space-time I obstruct justice I obstruct all order I create unnecessary crime I¡¯m a time traveler I don¡¯t like the human race I stand in a crowd of creatures Spitting nothing but shallow haze ¡®Cause I¡¯m a time traveler I hate everything about us Our faces Our games Our lives Our lies The group identity we create The constant bullshit put up facade The work we¡¯ve built The things we killed The overbearing need to talk The horrible, horrible paths we walk The huge mask all over our faces The excuse to live through another miserable day The living flesh we confine our minds to The primal instincts we give ourselves into The things we are taught The lives we have fought Everything goes to waste! Nothing ever stays the same! ¡®Cause I¡¯m a time traveler And I say, fuck them! And abandon the way people have told us to go Because everything is a shame It all feels like a play Let¡¯s time travel to the hospital we were born in And kill our young selves So we can fade And decay ¡®Cause I¡¯m a time traveler Last Breath You¡¯re walking in the streets, that¡¯s when you see the knife A terrorist, a murderer, or possibly a butcher The knife-holder comes near you and your instinct is to flight But then they lunge and stab your chest right in the center What did I do? You think, you don¡¯t deserve the hate But then again maybe this death was just your planned fate In your lungs you feel weight, in your stomach you ache You sink into this painfully horribly dizzy state Pain in your chest, ribs, lungs, and your world fades to black Your family is ahead of you and your friends are in the back You scream and roar but no one seems to care Your heart rate is quickly slowing down then going flat Life is a racetrack, you realize You run, you stumble, and then you get a fallbackThis tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. All to leads up to this moment, where everything gets shred into scraps You scrape your knees on the running dirt track pay back flashbacks Backtrack What¡¯s difference? You think, your life is a sack of crap! Pointlessness, purposeless, you wrapped your entire identity around your political and scientific beliefs You don¡¯t even want to live, you just want some relief Your life is a fur ball of angst and dismay You¡¯re at your last moments and all you can think about is how you always wanted to rust away You have no hope, you have nowhere to hold on to And yet you dislike this You don¡¯t want this Because you want to be heroic, fearless, courageous And yet you¡¯re here, bleeding and lifeless on the ground, praying a death wish You want to be noticed, want to be remembered, that person who was a genius who left their own traces You want famous last words You want to show the world your hurt But now you¡¯re here, you rat, unable to think of anything and just swearing in your head Over and over, those curses All those thoughts, discoveries, contributions, gone to nothing! This wasn¡¯t planned, no, it was supposed to be your death, your killing, your sudden spur of the moment You still had plans, you wanted to be a lawyer, a scientist, a politician And this wasn¡¯t supposed to happen! But then again you would¡¯ve never made it anyway You¡¯re a bag of worthlessness you¡¯ve got nothing to motivate It was always just a dream and you knew it was going to blow away So don¡¯t even try to stay Just let go Shut your eyes closed Stop trying to live You¡¯re not going to like it So just stop Give up You thought it was all going to be all okay? How pathetic You were always going to fade This was as always how you were meant to go By a random murderous death So breathe your last breath And hope you don¡¯t wake up again the next day A Million People Sometimes I want to be a Soviet or Nazi soldier. This is only half a joke. Not because I believe in those ideologies, but because I want to fit into a group like that - as if I were in a party, and there was large music blearing in the entire venue, and a million people were hyped up, drinking, dancing, that momentary bliss, the vibrations of sound piercing through my bones, basking in the boiling air and the sour alcohol and the giddy highs and giddy lows, the ridiculous adrenaline, just melting into the crowd, melting into the rhythm, bathing in sweat and shouts and chaos and our entangled, intertwined voices- If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. I want to be in a war, shouting "ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" or something like that, then charging, screaming, holding guns, blindly bashing, shooting, running, feeling the heartbeat, listening to the roaring footsteps of a million people, a million faces, a million comrades, compatriots, fighting for a higher purpose, worshiping someone, or something, tears, blood, letting this God or something else take me over, letting the rumbling ground engulf my senses, letting me to be crushed, and crushed more, and crushed even more, until I am nothing but mush and puddles, and a follower, a believer, a soldier, and there will be a million people with me too, and there will be a million more, and a million more. On Meaning People have popularized the saying ¡°life has no meaning¡± and treating it as some depressive truth. First, meaning is not an objective thing to discuss - it¡¯s a thing that depends on perspective, for example philosophers like Nietzsche and David Wallace have developed a nihilistic view, whereas people like Camus and Habot have developed a more positive or as some might say ignorant view. The definition of ¡°meaning¡± and ¡°truth¡± and other fancy vague words just depend on morals, community, and your emotions. It¡¯s something that varies between everyone and is not a suitable subject to academically discuss or debate. I mean, who gave these people the right to define such a big concept? The reason we yearn for ¡°meaning¡± so much is just because we are biologically inclined to, we want to fit into a community, we want a goal or a thing to work towards, we need these things (for example religion) to maintain a harmonious and orderly society. It¡¯s just how we¡¯ve evolved. The entire concept of meaning and truth is a human thing, not a universal ultimate truth thing, it¡¯s simply an illusion in our minds. The universe was not created for a purpose - it simply just came to existence. Like the quote - at first there was nothing but nothing was unstable so there was something. Nothing in this world can be discussed under ¡°has meaning¡± or ¡°does not have meaning¡±, since meaning is not a concept in the world in the first place, it¡¯s not a measurement we can place on things.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it It¡¯s also not really something to be depressed about, really, you¡¯re nothing, and what is so wrong with that? You don¡¯t need to ¡°matter to the universe¡± to get an ego boost to be happy. Some people have told me ¡°well if there¡¯s nothing to work for why we don¡¯t just kill ourselves?¡± And my response to that is literally ¡°Sure. That¡¯s an option too.¡± That¡¯s it. Really, it doesn¡¯t matter, you can do anything, it¡¯s seriously your choice and if that¡¯s your mindset then go for it (I¡¯m not encouraging suicide, simply just justifying the concept). Why do we treat suicide as such a big thing? If someone is in pain or feels insignificant or depressed or whatever, they should have the right to kill themselves. No one exactly asked to be borne. Some people have also told me ¡°but suicide is selfish, because it hurts the people around you¡±, and my response to that is 1. It¡¯s still your choice. It¡¯s your thing, and if you¡¯re only considering others when you are in so much pain, then we¡¯ll, you¡¯re overly altruistic, and that¡¯s not good either. 2. If you¡¯re at the point of suicide, I¡¯m pretty sure your pain is worse than the pain the people around you will go through. It¡¯s okay to stop wanting to exist, even if it might hurt others. Still though, not encouraging suicide, if you have suicidal thoughts, you can still get help. I¡¯m simply just trying to challenge the concept of treating death as such a huge thing. I¡¯m kind of just arguing for arguing¡¯s sake, really.