ã€ŠRikaã€‹


 Come Back

    #1

    It''s dark in this room. Actually, it''s pitch black. Come to think about it I''m not even sure if this is a room, but the staleness of the air and a faint echo of a machine''s whirling noise suggests it is a closed space. A machine ¨C I do not know what it is. When I concentrate to listen more carefully it sounds like a sound of a spinning fan. It could be a cooling fan or some sort of ventilating device. I guess they both have the same effect, the only difference being the purpose. I spend about a minute intently listening to this ''fan'' noise.

    It is a small fan, rotating rapidly, which makes me think it is not a ventilation fan connected to outside, but a small fan located in a machine. What kind of machine would it be, I try to pick up any other hint that I can sense in this blackness. I try to smell. The air feels a little moist as it enters my nostrils. I find that the air''s actually rushing into my nose even when I inhale only faintly. I try to stop breathing. The air''s still flowing into my nose.

    I figured it out. I don''t know what happened to me, but I have a breathing mask attached to my face. Obviously, I''m not dead, but I feel no pain. I don''t remember getting into any accident that could have led to me ending up in some sort of a hospital. Besides, I don''t think a hospital''s room would be set to be so dark, even if it were night now. I try to remember. What was I up to before I found myself here?

    It was sunny. I remember the sunbeams. The sunbeams shining through the strains of her hair draping over my face. A girl, I can''t visualize her face at all, but I feel like she was smiling. The smell, she smelt sweet, yet salty. Her face was close to mine, her hands pinning me down by the shoulders, her knees placed tightly to each side of my torso.

    Then she parted her lips to say something. I did not see her face in the shadow and all I could see was the flicker of sunshine descending on me through her wavy hair, but I could feel a breath of sweet air landing on my lips as she spoke.

    I don''t remember any sound, no words, no particular message, but I remember feeling at ease and in peace, not in a tranquil and joyous way, but like my body was slowly dissolving into the ground in the most soothing manner, as if I was disappearing slowly. My eyes closed. My body was sinking. I think I was laying on a bed of long-grown summer grass. Each blade of the grass seemed to be softening as if they were turning into something fluffy. I could feel her face getting close to mine. For some reason, I remember thinking ''this is the last time''. Last time of what, I do not know. And then in all this haziness, a voice echoes into my skull, as if the girl was projecting the sound right into my head.

    "Come back"

    #2

    "So I was like, whoa, what''s going on? Is this for real?"

    I was talking to my friend Peko, who was the only one I was close enough to discuss such things with.

    "It probably wasn''t, and you are just talking out of your ass, Tobi"

    "No man, it was real. I read the note like a hundred times"

    "Yeah but you don''t know who actually wrote it"

    "I do. I knew it in the instant. I just needed to confirm that the note itself was real, the piece of paper that I was holding in my hand"

    "Lol. You don''t doubt your wild guess on who this girl could be but you doubt if a physical thing in your hand is real"

    "''cuz you never know right? But anyway, it did clearly say, and it was from her. I''m 100% certain"

    "What makes you so sure?"

    "We had eye contact"

    "What? That''s it?"

    "Yeah, it was a few days ago. We walked past each other and our eyes met, and in that instant, I felt there was something special about her like there was some inexplicable connection between us. I''m sure she felt the same"

    "Whatever man, but anyways, who is this mysterious girl that supposedly left a note for you?"

    "That girl over there"

    "Who?"

    "The one in the middle, with short cut hair"

    "Get outta here. She''s not in your league. She''s not even on the same planet"

    "But she is the one that left the note inside my desk"

    "You wish"

    "It is her, I''m sure"

    "Why don''t you go talk to her then? As if you can lol"

    "Nah, she may be embarrassed in front of her friends and all that, you know"

    "Yes she''d be embarrassed just to be talked to by you, you embarrassment of a human being"

    "Fuck off. I''ll do it casually, like a coincidence"

    "Ho?"

    "Look I will just kick to roll this ball over to her and go there to pick it up"

    Then I kicked the ball. I gave it a bit of power as she was somewhat far away, but I completely misjudged. The ball went ballistic and landed straight on her face, to my horror.

    "Oh boy¡­ what the fuck did you do.."

    "Jesus, are you ok?"

    I ran towards her as fast as I could. She was lying on her back on the ground, completely motionless, her girlfriends were kneeling over her in panic shaking her and asking if she was ok. I knelt down to check her out too, and one of the girls violently shoved me away and I did a half roll backward and banged my head on the ground too.

    "You jerk!"

    Oh, man¡­ I could feel I was fainting. I must have hit my head on some stone or something. Everything around me was going blur.

    Fack. This is not how it was supposed to go.

    #3

    I come back to my senses in the school infirmary. I open my eyes and see the white ceiling above me. I''m lying on a curtained-off bed. I grunt as I pulled my body up to bring myself down from the bed. For some reason, I feel like my dusty white trainers look pathetic as I slip my feet into them. Nevertheless, I stand on my two feet and stretch my back a little, giving my head a bit of shake. I feel better now. I pull the curtain in front of me wide open, and I see a girl laying on the same kind of bed I was laying on just before. It is her.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    She must be the one that left a note of confession on my desk yesterday, with just one sentence written on it "Meet me at the rooftop tomorrow after school". Technically maybe it wasn''t a confession yet, but I presumed that''s what she was going to do when we indeed meet after school today. I look at her face and luckily there is no sign of any bruise or scar, and she is sleeping soundly. What a pretty face, and what a pair of pretty little slender arms she has folded over her body in a cross, like¡­eh? This looks like how you position a corpse or like how a vampire sleeps. That is pretty weird.

    I should have known it''s silly, but before I knew it I was carefully grabbing her upper lip and pulling it upwards to check her teeth, and then she suddenly flashed her eyes wide open

    "Whaaaaaaa! I''m sorry!"

    "What are you doing?", she asks me, her arms still motionlessly folded over her chest, with just her lips moving.

    "I was just checking out your fangs"

    "What kind of perversion is that"

    "No look, sorry, I didn''t mean to. I just thought you were a bit weird¡­"

    "So you kick a ball onto my face, and then follow me to the infirmary to check my fangs, and call me weird?"

    "Something like that"

    "You know what? I think I''m just gonna scream"

    "Huh?"

    "HEEEEEEELLLLP!!!"

    Yikes. She just lay there in her same dead body pose and started to scream from the top of her lungs, and soon enough our school nurse rushed into the room, who happened to be a very bulky strong man.

    "What''s going on?"

    "This freak is doing something perverted"

    "You little piece of shit!", the school nurse grabs my right wrist and violently twists and yanks it to my back, while kicking the back of my knees. I instantly drop to the ground and he''s on top of me in no time.

    "Ouch, that hurts. Sorry this is all a misunderstanding"

    "Yes, it is difficult for normal people to understand a pervert like you", the nurse spits out these harsh words between his gritted teeth.

    "I didn''t do anything. Seriously"

    The nurse then turns his head to look at the girl, who is now sitting so tidily on the bed with her two feet dangling down as if to ask her what she thinks. She just kinda looks away and whistles.

    "Really, I didn''t do anything"

    "What were you trying to do?"

    "I just wanted to.. check out her fangs.. that''s all"

    Then the girl burst out laughing. The nurse looked confused for a while and then slowly let go of my wrists.

    "I don''t know what funny game you are into, but stop messing around in the infirmary. If you are not sick, then get out"

    "But he IS sick", the girl chimes in with a mischievous grin.

    "You guys, both get out"

    So we find ourselves outside the infirmary and the door slides shut with a loud clack behind our back. The girl starts to walk away as if nothing happened, and then I remembered how all this started in the first place.

    "Hey"

    "What?", she replies without turning her head to face me, just keep pacing forward in lanky strides.

    "er.. so what did you want to talk about after school today?"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "You left a note on my desk yesterday, saying you wanted to meet at the rooftop after school today"

    "You received such a note?"

    "Yes"

    "And you thought it was from me?"

    "Yes"

    "What made you think that?"

    "Sixth sense"

    She lifts her right foot and swings it around in one smooth motion, landing a kick right on my crotch

    "Sixth sense your balls"

    Today''s not a good day, I mutter to myself in pain as she turns around and walks away.

    #4

    I''m in pain from my head to my balls.

    The school bell rang finally and everyone''s packing to go home. I went over what happened today in my head, and it looks like the note wasn''t from this girl. No shit. So stupid of me to get my hopes up and think it was her. Nevertheless, some girl (or at least somebody) wanted to see me after school today. I will at least make my way up and see who it is.

    I wait a little while for most students to go home and slowly struggle up the stairs to the rooftop. The metal door was slightly open. I suppose there is at least some glimpse of sweetness waiting on the other side. It may not be a girl I like or someone I could accept, but at least this would be my first receipt of a confession from a girl. I fling the door open and step outside. The sun is setting and the sky looks like a molten core. I take few more steps out to look around, to see who may be there.

    Clang.

    I hear the door shut behind me, so I turn around to see who came through.

    "Sike! Motherfucker!", just as a massive fist was landing on my face at full force I saw this tall dude with bleached blond hair behind that punch.

    The sheer power of the punch sends me hurling onto the ground and I roll once or twice on my side. Fack. Today''s a really bad day.

    "Remember me?", this delinquent-looking boy asks me with a nasty smile.

    "Who are you¡­? What did I do to you?"

    "You got in my way and screwed up my chance before"

    "What the fuck are you talking about?"

    A kick lands on my side. I feel like throwing up.

    "So you don''t even know how you fucked things up?"

    "I have no fucking clue what you are talking about"

    The guy stomps on the side of my right knee, and a bolt of pain runs through my leg as my knee gets pressed onto the concrete floor.

    "I really hate people like you. Stupid and clueless"

    "Jesus, gimme a break. I can''t even say sorry if I don''t know what the fuck is going on"

    Then the blonde dude kneels over me still laying on the ground panting.

    "You really don''t know?"

    "No!"

    "Right, listen up dumbass. Two days ago I was talking to a girl just behind the school, and at the worst possible timing, some dumb fuck puked out of the window above and all that shit landed on my head. And yes, that dumb fuck was you"

    Oh. Wait.

    I remember I was playing this stupid game with my mate Peko during lunchtime. I had brought a lunchbox full of dumplings and I told him I can fit 15 dumplings in my mouth (which I actually did once when I was in primary school). He said no way, so I ended up shoving them all into my mouth, proudly setting a new record of 18 dumplings. But that didn''t end well, I literally bit off more than I could chew and the quickest way to get rid of them without making a mess in the classroom was to puke them out of the window.

    "Oh boy. Sorry man... I remember now... but I didn''t know anyone got hit..."

    "How could you not know! You ruined my life!", this time he kicks me on my ass.

    Yes, I guess I deserve some ass-kicking.

    "Ouch sorry man. I admit that was really shitty of me. But c''mon that''s not exactly ''ruining life'' is it?"

    "Look bitch. I was in the middle of making a fucking confession to the girl I like, and just as I told her I liked her and before she could answer, your sick shit landed full on my head"

    "Whoa, I''m sorry. I''m really sorry!"

    Suddenly the guy seemed to have mellowed out. I actually and honestly do feel sorry for him. How horrible that I vomited on his confession. I guess even tough guys have soft spots.

    "erm¡­ so what did she say¡­?"

    "She just said ''gross'', and then walked away¡­", I think even this tough guy might have cried a little actually.

    "I wish there''s anything I can do to make it up to you mate. I sincerely feel sorry"

    The guy pauses for thought and then spoke, "Actually yes. Maybe you can make it up to me"

    "How? Just tell me what I can do"

    "Go talk to that girl again for me. Tell her it was all your fault, and ask her to give me one more chance to confess properly"

    "Dude. It''s your confession"

    "Yes, and you fucking puked all over it"

    "Sorry. I will do as you say"

    Sigh.. what have I gotten myself into..

    "So, who should I speak to?"

    "Rika"

    "Who is Rika?"

    "She''s from Class 1A"

    "So what do I do?"

    "Go find her tomorrow during school, and ask her to come to the rooftop here"

    "Why the rooftop?"

    "So you won''t be fucking puking on my head again you dumb fuck", a very heartfelt thumping kick in my stomach ended the conversation there.

    Tomorrow will be another day.

 It would have hurt more

    #5

    It''s lunchtime. I still haven''t made my way to Class 1A. I''m in Class 1F, which is actually on another floor. It''s not like I can just randomly pass by that class and happen to run into this girl that I don''t even know, and casually ask her to come to the rooftop after school to receive confession from a guy that I puked on a few days ago. But I had to do it. I didn''t want to get beaten up again, but I genuinely really felt guilty too that I ruined his confession (but at the same time, it sucked major balls that what I thought was going to be my moment of confession turned out to be a beat-up).

    There was still half an hour or so left of lunchtime, so I finally got my courage up and made my way to Class 1A. I peep inside and there are many girls and boys chit-chatting and idling around in the classroom, as they normally do.

    I''m hesitating whether to go in or not, trying to take a step in but then turning back again, just rinse and repeat. Then a dandy looking guy comes up to me and asks,

    "Do you need anything?"

    "erm, yeah. I''m looking for someone"

    "Ah ok. I''m the Class Rep. Who are you looking for?"

    "Actually, I don''t know her. I''m here to look for her on erm¡­ my friend''s behalf. Her name is ''Rika'', so I''m told"

    "No problem!"

    Then the dandy little dude turns around and calls out into the classroom

    "Hey Rika! Someone''s here to see you!"

    A girl''s head pops out from a small group of students standing by the window, and as soon as I have eye contact I realise it is herl, the girl that I like, the girl that I made faint, the girl whose fangs that I tried to check out.

    "Whoa! It''s the freak!", squeals the girl, Rika, apparently.

    Other girls turn around to see me and I see another girl that shoved me the day before, the one that made me faint.

    "It''s this jerk again!"

    "Get lost you loser!", a random boy shouts ¨C dude... I don''t even know you.

    "It looks like you are well known to my classmates", shrugs the dandy little cunt of a class rep.

    "erm.. sorry but can I talk to you?", I ask Rika across the room, raising my voice because, well, I had to, to get heard over the crowd.

    "What do you want?", Rika asks back

    "It''s complicated. Please. This is not for me. I''m asking for a friend"

    "Yeah right, ''asking for a friend''. Who does he think he''s fooling?", says another random bitch from the crowd.

    "Well, let''s see what you''ve got to say", Rika looks amused and starts to make her way towards me.

    "Rika are you sure?", a concerned friend of hers asks

    "Don''t worry. I kicked his balls before and I can do it again" ¨C ah fuck, please no.

    So Rika and I are standing outside the classroom in the hallway, I can feel the eyes of disdain running over me from the other students but I came here with a mission.

    "Hi...Rika..? Let me first apologise about yesterday.."

    "Well, it''s okay now. I kicked your balls. So it''s settled"

    "Could you please stop talking about my balls¡­ anyways, I''m here because I have to make up to someone"

    "Oh? What could this be?"

    "You remember the guy that confessed to you like three days ago? And he got puked on from the sky?"

    "Yeah, it was gross"

    "Erm¡­ it was me"

    "What do you mean?"

    "I vomit on him from my classroom window, at a very unfortunate timing"

    Rika then burst out laughing

    "So let me get this straight, you vomit on a guy confessing, then kicks a ball to my face the next day, then stalks me to the infirmary to check out my fangs?"

    "ewww¡­ he''s so gross" ¨C I could hear multiple voices from the onlookers saying something of this sort.

    "Look, if you put it like that I really can''t say anything. But still, it''s all my fault and this guy''s in poor shape, the least I could do for him is to ask you to give him one more chance"

    "No. It''s my decision whether to accept a confession or not"

    "That''s not what I''m saying, at least give him a chance to do it again without it being ruined by stupid me, you can reject him for all I care, but at least the man deserves to be rejected with a clean face"

    "Hmpf. And what''s in it for you?"

    "Nothing. I just want to right the wrong I did"

    Rika seemed to contemplate for a bit, then gave her answer

    "Ok. I accept. I will grant him the chance to be rejected cleanly, and I will give you the chance to ''right the wrong''"

    "Thank you so much"

    #6

    "Tobi! Open the door!"

    "This is the police! Open the fucking door!"

    I hear them banging on my door. My mom, the police, and god knows who else. I''m running out of time. I have to get rid of all the trace, all the evidence, all the things that I never should have had.

    #Rattle, Rattle#

    They are furiously shaking the doorknob. I''ve pressed all the furniture in my room against that door. This should keep them at bay for a while, but if this went on they probably get a fire truck to ladder up to my window.

    "Open the fucking door! You have nowhere to run!"

    I''m slashing through pictures, printouts, handwritten notes, poster-size photographs. This kitchen knife is not sharp enough. At the same time as maniacally wielding the knife to cut up the papers ¨C my memories ¨C I''m using my left hand to grab and tear out other pictures off the wall, violently shoving them into my mouth and chewing like a mad man.

    #Boom, boom.#You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    I think they got one of those metal rod things to break open the door. I can hear the wooden door crack. It will be only a matter of time they will storm into my room.

    I have no time. This is bad.

    Then I see a can of lighter fuel I have long forgotten I had sitting on the bookshelf. This could go wrong but I have no other option. I grab the can and yank out the lid, viciously shaking them to pour out onto my desk and the wall. Just as the door breaks open and people in uniforms rush into the room I toss a lit match onto the desk. As I get barged on my back and the police batons beat me on my head I see the desk go up in flames from the corner of my eyes, and the flame''s quickly spreading onto the wall. All this time I''m still chewing the pictures in my mouth.

    "Get the fire extinguisher!"

    An officer screams out the order and in no time the white powders fill up the room. It makes me choke but I''m now chewing and swallowing the final bits of photo print papers in my mouth. They don''t taste good.

    Things settle down and the room gets quiet. I hear the sobbing sound of my mom just outside my bedroom door. The police officer with the fire extinguisher throws the empty can onto the ground and grits in frustration

    "Fuck. We''ve lost it all"

    This is a victory for you, love. I hope you are well.

    #7

    "So what happened?"

    "Well, predictably, she rejected him"

    "Oh poor sod"

    "Yeah. Feels bad man"

    "You are not any better. You seriously thought the note was from that girl, erm, Rika? But it turns out it was a bait note for a beat down"

    "Ah shut up. I was so sure it was her"

    "Why the fuck would you have thought that?"

    "I just had that feeling. There was a connection"

    "You didn''t even know her name back then"

    "But still¡­"

    "What do you mean ''still¡­'', you were proven wrong, end of"

    I sigh and look out of the window. I see Rika in the schoolyard, walking gaily with three friends. They all seem to be having fun. Rika''s smiling and other girls are laughing too. Maybe one of the girls made a funny joke. Maybe it was about some stupid weirdo that tried to see Rika''s fangs. Is this the end? Why does it hurt so much every time I look at her.

    Right from the first moment I saw her from afar, I felt this pang in my heart. It wasn''t ''love at first sight'' in a conventional sense. It almost felt like I was seeing a lover from my previous life, where our love ended and we had to part in some tragic way. No matter how far I watched her from, this piercing feeling always came. It hurt every time and I didn''t know why.

    Then she suddenly turned her head in my direction and I felt our eyes met. No, it couldn''t be. I was sitting by the window on the third floor and maybe sixty meters or so away from her. I could see her because I was looking out for her but she couldn''t possibly find my eyes in the bland background from so far away, but again, I felt certain that we''ve connected, just like the first time our eyes met. But then again, she turned her head away again and walked off, getting distant, continuing to talk with her friends.

    I must be deluding myself. I don''t know what''s wrong with me but this girl''s doing my head in. She is certainly pretty, but I keep telling myself there is something more, something special that I can''t pinpoint, some special connection.. this is going around in circles, and I''m probably making things up in my head now.

    "Snap out of it man" ¨C Peko gives me a flick on my head

    "Ouch dude"

    "You fucked up. Life goes on. It''s not like you''ve ever had a girlfriend anyway, and it''s not like you made a move on her or anything. Nothing happened. You didn''t break up or get rejected"

    That gives me an idea.

    "Should I ask her out?"

    "Lol fuck. Yes you can. You''ll get rejected, but you might as well"

    "Yeah.. I think I might as well"

    #8

    I never thought I would do something so stupid like this, but I''ve actually written a letter to put into Rika''s shoebox. Ironically, I decided to use the same bait note that I received for my beat down before ¨C "Come meet me at the rooftop after school tomorrow"

    After some time having observed Rika, I knew she had club activities on Tuesday after classes, which meant there was a window of opportunity where most students would have gone home but Rika would still be in school, and more importantly, her shoes still in her shoe locker, which would mean that she is guaranteed to see the note I put in.

    I went over to the shoes lockers by the entrance of the school building, looked around to make sure that nobody else was around. It took some time as every time I thought I could sneak the note in with no one seeing it I''d hear some people passing by so I freaked out and waited for another chance. After more than half an hour of toeing around the shoe locker area, it finally seemed to be the right time to take the action. I have already eyed up Rika''s shoe locker, so I quickly moved over and opened the door. Then I realized I have not really thought things through. How does this work? Am I supposed to just put it in the locker or actually put it inside the shoes? I remembered when I watched the animes the notes often fall out when the girl opens her locker. But that would be awkward if she came with her friends, as they''d all see it. At the same time, if I put it inside the shoes she might just put her feet in without realizing, which would also result in a rather awkward crumpled note getting in between her toes.

    So I just stood there looking at her shoes. I''ve now decided to put it inside her shoe, so I snuck the folded paper inside her right shoe. On second thought though, it looked like I put the note in too deep, it''s like I couldn''t even see that there was a note in there. This is no good. So I put my fingers in to pull the note out again, but it felt like the note was stuck and I couldn''t get it out. What''s going on? It seemed the note got stuck on the front edge. I tried to give the shoe a good shake but it was still not coming out, so I took the shoe out of the locker, held it up in the air, and tried to look inside.

    "Eeewww. You are sniffing my shoes?"

    "Whoa!"

    Rika was standing right behind me giving me a puzzled (and somewhat disgusted) look. She had her friends on each side and one of them was already starting to mouth me off.

    "You are that jerk that kicked the ball to Rika!"

    "You are the perv that stalked her to the infirmary!", another girl chimed in.

    "Look, this is not what it looks like"

    "Well it looks very much like you are sniffing my shoes"

    "No! I wasn''t!"

    "Then what were you doing?"

    "I was just putting something into your shoes"

    "Gross! What were you doing?!", one of her friends blurted out.

    "oh gees, that didn''t come out right. I was just.."

    Then her friend snatched Rika''s shoe out of my hand,

    "Get your dirty hands off Rika''s stuff, here Rika.. this guy''s such a creep"

    Rika just looked at me funny, then lifted the shoe to look inside, and then gave me a blank look again.

    "It''s okay girls, there''s nothing inside. Let''s just leave"

    Then she put on her shoes and walked off with her friends. Rika didn''t turn back, but one of the girls turned around to give me the finger on the way out.

    That night I couldn''t sleep at all. She surely must have seen, or at the very least felt the note inside the shoe. But she decided not to mention it to her friends. Was she trying to protect me in a nice way? In any case, she let me off on this one, but would she actually turn up tomorrow after school?

    I don''t know how the day passed the next day, but it did. Somehow. I waited a little while until most students have gone home, but then again I couldn''t make Rika wait too long either, so I hastily made my way up to the rooftop.

    As I reached the end of the stairs, I noticed the steel door leading out to the rooftop was slightly open. Rika must be here already.

    I opened the door and took a step out, and looked around to see where she was.

    "Sike! Motherfucker!"

    I felt a big punch on the back of my head and tumbled onto the concrete floor. As I looked up feeling hazy, I saw the face of the good ol'' blond dude from before.

    "Why¡­ what are you doing here..?"

    "That one was from Rika"

    "What the.."

    "And this one''s from me!" ¨C a thumping kick on my stomach. I felt like throwing up again.

    "Where is Rika?", I had to ask despite the unbearable pain.

    "You are a fool if you thought she''d be here. She doesn''t want to have anything to do with dip shit like you", snorted the scum bag.

    "She.. told you to do this?"

    "What do you think?", laughed the idiot as he stomped his foot on my head.

    #9

    I was standing in rain, in the middle of a small park that I knew Rika normally passes on her way home. It''s not that I wanted to be overly dramatic, or make myself look pathetic to induce sympathy. I just didn''t have an umbrella on me but I still felt I had to do it today.

    As predicted, Rika appeared. She saw me from about ten meters away, but she did not stop or hesitate, she walked directly towards me, or more accurately, she looked like she was just going to walk past me.

    "Hey", I halted her

    "What''s up?", Rika stopped and asked, looking nonchalant.

    "Why did you do that to me?"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "You got that scum bag to beat me up yesterday"

    "Did it hurt?"

    "Yes"

    "Would it have hurt more if I turned you down face to face?"

    That made me think.

    "Yes"

    "There you go then", and she turned around to walk off.

    "But I rather get rejected directly and face it like a man", I yelped behind her back.

    She stopped, turned around, and said.

    "But it would have hurt me to turn you down myself"

    What?

    Then she ran off.

    I''ve never seen her run before. She runs like a deer in the spring rain.

 Lets not mess this up again

    #10

    I ran into the public toilet and headed straight to the sink, projectile vomit coming out of my mouth. Fack. This blood in my hands, I have to get them off my hands. I look into the mirror and my eyes are bloodshot. My hands are trembling and my fingers feel like they are cramping like a corpse''s hand. I have no strength in my knees yet my arms are tight and taut like they are ready to rash out and tear anybody''s face off. My hair''s all crumpled and I look shit in the mirror but luckily I have no scars on my face. This place smells like rotting piss mixed with my vomit and this un-washable blood all over my hands and my body. I turn on the tap to the max and vigorously rub my face to clean it off. I feel like gouging my eyes out. I want to un-see everything I have ever seen and only leave with the things I want to remember, what is a memory but a self-comforting illusion anyway.

    #Swing#

    I hear a door open behind me. Shit, someone''s coming in. I quickly turn around and see a middle-aged man with a hat walking into the toilet. He''s got no cast on his legs but he''s on crutches, maybe physically impaired. It takes him a few seconds to run his eyes over me and see that I''m all covered in blood. His jaws drop almost like in slow motion and I knew I had to stop this before it becomes bigger trouble.

    I yank out the still bloody knife from my inside pocket and slit his throat in one big swing motion instinctively. I cut deep enough the first time to slash his vocal cord and the man can''t scream. The only sound he can make is the gurgling sound of blood in his mouth and the helpless flapping of his frail arms. One of his crutches drops to the floor and makes a clanging sound as it hit the tiles.

    #Clang#

    That''s the sound that an aluminum baseball bat makes as it gets a crisp hit on the incoming ball. I hit it perfectly.

    "Yeah, Tobi!!"

    I hear my classmates cheer. I see the ball make a beautiful high arc across the sky. Take that bitches ¨C it''s surely a home run and that means my class will progress into the semi-final of the school baseball tournament. I sucked so bad for the whole day, all my friends face-palming at every strike-outs I had to endure, but I''ve done it when it matters, so clutch.

    With the loud cheers of everyone ringing like a song of triumph in my ears, I wave to Rika standing by the school fence at the edge of the ground. She''s very far away but she sees me and shoots me the bright beam of a smile, waving her arms enthusiastically in return.

    I track the ball across the sky and it''s surely going over the fence. I keep my eyes on it all the way through just to make sure ¨C ah fack.

    "Rika! Watch out!"

    #Clang#

    Another crutch of the man drops and hits the tiles. He''s desperately clutching at his throat, trying to contain the blood gushing out. There is no chance he will survive. This man is suffering. I better end it quickly for him. I approach him slowly and roll him over to his back with my foot, slowly bend my body over his, and slide in the knife straight into his heart through his ribs. His eyes are looking around wildly as if to find one last hope that will never come, and inevitably, this gaze fixes itself on my own eyes, as if to say why are you doing this to me. I keep my eye contact with him and I can see his eyes going vacant. Does his soul escape through his cut open throat or is it deserting him through his eyes? Either way, I palm his eyes close. Rest in peace stranger.

    I hastily finish washing up and sleek my hair back with water. I step out of the toilet building and into the darkness of the night.

    I''m sorry girl. I didn''t mean to do you harm. I''m truly sorry.

    Now I find myself sitting by the bed of the infirmary where Rika''s lying down. Incredibly she managed to escape without a bruise or a cut this time ¨C just like the first time I knocked her out with a rocket football straight onto her face. I reach out and put my hands on top of hers. Her hands are cold. And she still has this funny way of sleeping with her arms folded over her chest like a vampire. That brought back a memory and made me chuckle. Just like the first time, how it all went pear-shaped and I had to explain how I was just checking out her fangs.

    Rika gradually opens her eyes and sees me sitting beside her. I give her an awkward apologetic smile.

    "You don''t have to be so nice to me all the time"

    "That''s not what you say to a man who knocked you out three times now"

    She lets out a quiet giggle.

    "Did you win?"

    "No. The ball bounced off your head and rolled back into play. I ran to you instead of hitting the bases so I was out. We lost"

    "You fool. You really are a fool"

    She closes her eyes as we both smile.

    "Get some rest Rika. I''ll be here"

    #11

    I spent another sleepless night trying to figure out what she meant ¨C and what was the meaning of all this. Ok, first she ''protected'' me from being embarrassed in front of everyone by pretending there was no note in her shoes. Then I turned up to confess and there was that mega asshole waiting for me to do that "Sike! Motherfucker!" shit again. Then I confronted her the next day still reeling in pain, both my body and heart, and after that, I can''t make any sense of what she said and how she acted. So she didn''t want to turn me down herself because it would have hurt her? Does that mean she likes me? At least a little? A tiny bit perhaps? Does it hurt her the same way it hurts me when I see her? But why make me get beaten up again?You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    One certain fact though was that she undoubtedly rejected me. It''s just her reasons and methods that were puzzling to me. But since her answer is clear ¨C should I even pursuit her any further?

    Futile question. It''s not like I can just say ''oh well, that was that'' and move on. I would have preferred to be hurt by her instead of some mega dickhead acting as her pawn. But what more could I say to her now? How will she act when she sees me again next time? Why did she run away?

    That was very unlike her, who always seemed so calm and carefree.

    The next day I went to school exhausted and still confused. As I sat down by my desk and was taking out a textbook for the first class from my desk drawer, a folded paper note fell out. I picked it up and opened it to read it.

    "Come meet me at the rooftop after school today"

    For fuck''s sake. This is getting old. What does she (or he) think I am. I will not fall for the same trick three times. It was either Rika who prepared to get me beaten up or the mega dick himself playing yet another prank - this time I didn''t deserve it. The more I thought of it, the more likely it seemed that Rika wanted to somehow ''punish'' me again for the little confrontation yesterday, and have set up yet another (this time predictable) trap for me. A bewitched man may burn at the flame again and again like a moth that can''t help it, but unlike a moth, man can put up a fight.

    Just to ensure my suspicions are correct, I deliberately went on roaming around the school during lunchtime where I thought I could run into Rika, and as hoped, I did end up facing her in the hallway leading to the school cafeteria. I did not say anything or give any expressions as we approached each other, but did keep my keen eyes on her all the way through. She did not cast her eyes on me even once all the way through, not even in a sneaky way, and she did not show any sign that she was putting in any degree of effort to avoid eye contact - she just walked right past me as if I were a ghost.

    Gotcha.

    I figured her out. She set up a trap. Come to think about it that poor sod I vomited on is probably hooked on Rika now and being used as a violent pet that she can unleash at will. I obviously cannot physically attack a girl, but beating that jackass would be equal to scoring a victory over her.

    Now that I knew what was up I couldn''t wait to pull off my little plan of revenge. I skipped the last class of the day and stole a baseball bat from the gym store. I snuck myself up onto the rooftop and took a position on the blind side of the rooftop entrance. All I needed to do now was wait, abide my time, and bring down the justice.

    I heard the school bell ring and it was only a matter of time. As anticipated, soon enough I heard someone stepping upwards on the stairs to the rooftop. I had kept the door closed, unlike this idiot that''s gonna walk right through. He will think he''s the first one here now, just like the previous two times, and plan to set up for me to come. This time I''m here first.

    Then the door flung open, and as soon as I saw a head pop in I whacked it with the bat.

    "Sike! Motherfucker!"

    #Flat.#

    Oh.

    Shit.

    Rika fell flat on her face on the concrete, a perfect face plant. I just whacked the shit out of her head with an aluminum bat.

    #12

    I''m sorry little girl, but you need to die - I say this to myself as I land another punch on her face. I can''t bring myself to say this to the semi-conscious girl that I''m beating on, so I''m uttering these words inside as if though it somehow makes the whole thing less sinful. Should I have strangled her - would that have been less brutal and merciful? Should I have used my knife to cut her? But I couldn''t bring myself to mutilate a young girl. Fack. Who am I kidding? I''m bludgeoning her to death with my bare fist and I can feel her cheekbones crack underneath. In most likelihood, she is already dead. Come to think about it, pounding someone''s face to death is not a very effective way to kill. But I can''t stop now. This is how it started so this is how it shall end.

    By the time I was done her face was unrecognisable. Sure they have DNA tests, fingerprints, and it will only be a matter of time they identify who she is. But at least whoever finds her first may avoid the unpleasant experience of finding the dead body of someone you recognise.

    Was it really necessary to kill this girl - I would never know. It''s just that there had to be a sacrifice and I have already committed myself to carry out this plan until the end. That is now the principle I need to live by. I felt sick with regret, but for now all I know is that I need to clean up and go back to where I belong.

    #13

    "Rika! Are you okay?"

    There was no answer. What the fuck did I do. I hammered a helpless little girl with a baseball bat and she''s lying motionless in front of me. Not only that, this was Rika, the girl that has captivated me for the past months. It only seems recent that we somehow ended up running into each other often, but whenever we did, it didn''t end well.

    "Rika! Please wake up, oh my god.."

    I kneel down to turn her body over. Her body feels completely loose with no strength at all, but as she flops on her back to face up, her eyes flash open.

    "Why you little shit¡­!"

    Before I could even open my mouth to let out a sigh of relief or ask her if she was okay, she grabbed my throat with both of her tiny but unexpectedly strong hands and started to squeeze.

    "ARGH, Sorry!"

    "Why do you always do this to me?!"

    "arrr..." I could barely speak now.

    "I will KILL YOU"

    And with that, I could feel that she was tightening her grip on my throat. I started to choke but she had no intention of letting go. I first tried to helplessly tap the floor, then her shoulder, and just wildly flail my arms around to signal to her this was going too far, but her ice-cold eyes were fixed on mine, and it felt as though she was sucking every single molecule of oxygen out of my body with her eyes.

    Fack. This is going too far...

    By this time I was grabbing her wrist and try to pull them away as much as I could, but it was to no avail. I couldn''t believe how strong this girl was, or maybe my body was already starting to get weak. I could feel my limbs start to curl up as all the muscles tightened with painful cramps. My vision was going blur and I couldn''t even look at her clearly anymore, and just before I felt like this was the end, I caught a twinkle of a smile in her eyes. What the¡­

    Then everything became black. Darker than black. Black as I have never seen or experienced before. Is this the death? There was no light at the end of the tunnel. It''s like everything was just a bottomless black pit, and I felt I would now slowly dissolve into nothingness, the emptiness, complete void. There was nothing transcendental about dying I realised.

    This. Was. It. Fack.

    "Come back", a voice booms inside my head.

    "Garrggrrggrghh!" I jolt up from the ground in total shock. I am drenched in sweat and panting hard. Was that a dream? What the fuck happened?

    "Who am I?". a girl standing in front of me asked. It was a very pretty girl, like no other girl I have ever met before - I knew her,

    "Rika."

    "That''s right. Let''s try not to fuck this up again"

    She extended her hand, beckoning me to grab and shake it. I hesitated a bit but took her invitation and shook her hand. Her hand was warm. Very warm.

 Something Beautiful

    #14

    My name is Dori. I have been meaning to make this recording at some point in my life but got around to do it tonight. I have kept a diary throughout my life because otherwise, it''s difficult to keep track of all that has been happening, but I always intended to burn it before I ever leave this world. I wanted to leave no trace of myself or my life, and my death behind if it came to it.

    But lately, I have been feeling a bit differently. If I were to disappear leaving no trace behind, would it be like I''ve never existed? Once everyone that I have ever met, or the last person that has even the faintest memory of me dies, would that be it?

    I didn''t use to care, and it''s not like I''m suddenly scared of dying and disappearing now after all these years, but if all were to end someday, I wanted to at least leave my voice behind, this voice that someone once told me was beautiful.

    The story of my life is not worth listening to, but I think maybe when someone eventually ends up listening to this, it might teach a lesson in life, death, and everything in between, and perhaps that lesson can guide her much better than the path I have let myself trudge along with no clear purpose.

    It''s easy to be cynical when you have lived as long as I did. 622 years to be exact, although from which date I should count the start of my ''life'' is a moot point.

    I was a carefree young girl, 15 years old when it happened. I lived in a small town where most people farmed for a single landlord who seemed to have owned pretty much everything around the area. As my dad used to say, you could stand on a field and everything you could see with your eyes belonged to him.

    He was not some evil or exploitative landlord as you hear in some of those folklores that survived to the modern-day though. I guess only the stories about bad men and hardships are passed down through the generations. It''s like evil memories and grudges last forever while good memories die with the people who treasured them.

    I was very frail back then, and dad used to comment I don''t look suitable to be a farmer girl for all my life. My pale skin, slender figures, and doll-like face looked more fitting to be an educated girl in a noble family. It''s embarrassing to say these words myself, but they come from my dad and I''m too old to care about these things now anyway.

    So I wasn''t much good or useful at farming. Instead of toiling the soil myself, I brought the farm products to the town market to sell. While we farmed for the landlord we were allowed to keep and use some for ourselves, and we also had our small garden farm and a chicken den at our house, so there were always some vegetables, fruits, and eggs to sell.

    It was one sunny day in June that I first met him. June 22 to be exact. Well, the calendars changed over the centuries so it is probably a different date when calculated now, but for me, it was June 22 back then so I will always remember it like that. It was the end of strawberry season and I''ve brought a particularly nice basket of strawberries to the market on that day. They looked so red and yummy, and if you brought your face close to them you could smell how nicely fragrant they were. I was looking forward to selling these as I was sure they''d fetch some extra coins. In fact, I was hiding it under a cloth cover because I wanted to sell it to a maid from the landlord''s household. She came to the market every morning to buy the fresh produce, and I thought if I showed her these strawberries she''d certainly buy them. They were good enough to be on the table of a noble family.

    As I was humming to myself indulging in these thoughts, I heard there was some commotion in the other end of the market where I couldn''t see.

    "Master! Please stop!", I heard a woman''s voice shouting, and then I saw this well-dressed boy running down the center passage between the market stalls with a mischievous grin on his face.

    "You will have to catch me Ema!", this ''master'' turned his head around to taunt the chasing woman - it was one of the maids from the landlord''s household.

    And then this shit happened. As he was running past my stall (it wasn''t even a ''stall'', it was just me with various things laid on the ground) he tripped and fell, and he literally faceplanted (we didn''t have this expression back then but I like it now) into my basket of strawberry. I was like oh no! my strawberries¡­ I didn''t know what got into me but I was so furious I grabbed his hair from the back of his head to force lift his face,

    If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation."What have you done!"

    The boy looked a bit phased out and his eyes looked around for a moment, and then he saw this cloth on the basket soaked in red. It was the cloth I had put on the strawberry basket to keep it clean.

    "I am¡­ bleeding?"

    Gees how stupid could he be? Then ''Ema'', the maid, caught up and said in a rush while trying to catch her breath.

    "Master, are you okay?"

    "I''m bleeding Ema", the boy said while feeling up his face with his hand.

    "Oh no!"

    "Calm down. You are not bleeding"

    "But look at all this blood! and my face hurts like a hell"

    "You ruined my strawberries"

    The boy then took his hands off his face to look at his palms, then at the cloth soaked with broken strawberries underneath, and then at me.

    "Oh."

    "These were the best, and probably the very last, strawberries of the season¡­ and you ruined them... I was going to sell them for good money and daddy would have been so happy.. you jerk."

    The boy stared at me dazed, and Ema cut in

    "Watch your tongue girl"

    I just looked back at her gritting my teeth.

    And then the boy said "Hey... I''m sorry"

    What could I do? The strawberries were all ruined and I couldn''t sell them anymore, but oh, they are rich right? They can surely pay for these as compensation

    "You will need to pay for these strawberries"

    "You are right... I should. Ema, please pay for this girl''s strawberries, it was my fault"

    Then Ema said "You are so kind Master" and took out a few coins from her pouch and handed them over to me

    "Is this enough?"

    Hell yeah, it was more than enough! Pity that no one could eat the nice strawberries but this was a big haul!

    "Yes! Thank you!"

    "Right. Master, please be careful next time. We should return to the mansion and have the house doctor check up on you"

    "But I''m fine"

    "There is something called ''concussion'', where you bump your head and you look fine, but some damage has been done inside your head and can later come back to cause trouble, You could end up very sick if not checked and treated immediately"

    "Huh? Is that true?". I asked as my curiosity kicked in.

    "Yes. That''s why I should take Master back home as soon as possible. I apologise on my Master''s behalf on your strawberries, but I believe you have been compensated sufficiently"

    "Erm yeah, thanks for that.. but I remember I fell from the stairs yesterday and banged my head on the ground too. It hurt a lot at the time but I thought it was okay, but now.. do you think I may have this ''concushion'' thing?"

    "It''s ''concussion'', not some kind of ''cushion'' and I''m not a doctor"

    Then the boy was like "Hey, you come to my house together. Let''s have the doctor check on you too"

    "Master, what are you suggesting?"

    "It''s okay Ema. If you are worried I have concushion from hitting my head, this girl might have been hurt as well"

    "It''s ''concussion'' Master.."

    "Ah whatever. Let''s just bring her home"

    "But I can''t go now.. my daddy will be worried if I don''t come home late"

    "Where is he?"

    "He''s working at.. erm¡­ ''your'' potato field now"

    "What''s his name?"

    "Yori"

    The boy then chuckled and said "That''s a weird name, is that his

    surname?"

    "Don''t laugh at other people''s names. Well we are Kazga, so he''s Yori Kazga, but us ''commoners'' just use the first name normally"

    "Right, sorry about that! Ema, please have someone sent to the field to tell Mr. Kazga we will take his daughter for a check-up with our doctor and he shan''t be worried"

    "Yes Master"

    "Right, Ms...Kazga, please come together with us"

    That was that. Our first meeting. It started off as this mega annoying disaster, but it was start of something beautiful, but also, something really awful.

 It kills time

    #15

    Since the day we almost killed each other on the rooftop, Rika and I clicked somehow. When Rika asked me a few days later to hang out together after school, it did not feel like inviting me to a ''date'' at all. For some inexplicable reason, it felt like just a reach-out from a fellow survivor of some catastrophe, like another passenger from the same ship I was in that sank and killed all the others.

    The first place we hit was an arcade in a mall. Rika turned up casually dressed in oversized t-shirts bearing some graffiti-looking logo and baggy jeans, with a navy-blue hooded jacket and white trainers. I was a bit taken back at first as she looked so different from her image in school, but she looked charming in her own way with this look too, especially as she just gave a slight show of her palm and greeted me with "Yo" when we first met.

    We walked into the arcade more or less in silence and once I got in I asked her if she likes playing games.

    "Well, it kills time"

    "Ok¡­ but you don''t really enjoy it?"

    "Let''s say it''s a necessity. Time has to be killed, especially when you have so much of it"

    "er..?"

    "Nevermind. Let''s go play something"

    "Right. What kind of games do you want to play?"

    "Killing games"

    That made me chuckle for some reason. I came to realise that she has this dull sense of humour with such deadpan comments.

    "I guess we could shoot some zombies?"

    "Woo yeah. I like shooting things that just never die. Or they die but come back. Again and again"

    Then we started to play this Zombie shooter in co-op mode, and damn she was good. She was pretty much shooting everything before I could even aim, and I felt like I was only shooting things that were designed to be physically impossible to be handled by a single player. I did die a few times, and each time Rika asked me to put more coins in so I can continue with her, as she has not died even once. In the end, after furious trigger pulls and loads of coins, we cleared the game, and I was happy when Rika gave me a rare smile as we high-fived each other.

    "So what do you want to do now?" I thought we have spent enough time in this arcade, enough to completely clear a game.

    "Let''s watch some movies"

    "Yeah let''s see what they are showing today"

    Then we took the escalator to the upstairs where there was a small cinema. Rika said she will go to the restroom for a bit and I can check the showtimes. When she came back she asked,

    "So what have they got?"

    "Well there''s this rom-com that''s really popular now ¨C I heard it''s pretty damn funny. And there''s this action movie with lots of car racing ¨C I like this one personally, and a sci-fi movie with some alien invasion ¨C I think this one looks a bit meh, and there''s a crime story about a serial killer"

    "Cool. Let''s watch the serial killer movie"

    "What are you, an emo goth?!"

    "Pfft, don''t give me such a label. It''s just to kill time"

    "What''s up with you and all this ''killing''"

    "It''s just a running joke I have"

    "With whom?"

    She paused for a very short but noticeable moment and then replied

    "Yeah.. with a friend. A longtime friend"

    "Your friend must be weird"

    "Yes he is"

    "A boy?", it would be a lie if I said I didn''t feel a tiny bit of sudden unjustifiable jealousy

    "None of your business"

    With that, the conversation was over. I bought two tickets and a massive box of popcorns (on Rika''s demand) and we entered the hall.

    After two hours of intense gore, the movie was over. Although it was disgusting in parts, I have to say it was pretty good and suspenseful throughout.

    "So did you like the movie?", I asked her.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    "Yeah it was alright"

    "It was pretty intense eh?"

    "Well a bit unrealistic though"

    "You think so? Which part? You mean like how the detective just happened to figure out who the killer is by chance?"

    "No. It''s just that¡­", then Rika hesitated a bit

    "Go on"

    "You know when you slit the back of a neck like in that second murder, it does not bleed that way in real life", she kinda murmured this and looked away, as if.. she was embarrassed?

    "You know some weird things. I don''t even know whether that''s true or just some ''joke''"

    "Nevermind. Maybe we do something else now"

    "Right. What do you want to do?"

    "You have been asking me what I want to do. Why don''t you think of something yourself?"

    I gave it a thought.

    "Let''s go to a caf¨¦. We''ve been out for the whole day today but have not really sat down"

    "We just sat in the movies for two hours"

    "er, I mean sit around and just talk, chill, you know"

    "Is that fun?"

    "Yes it kills time"

    She gave a short unexpected chuckle before quickly recomposing herself

    "Ok you pick a place then"

    #16

    I''m sitting on my desk chair and looking at the wall against my desk. It''s covered in pictures and photographs. Pictures of Rika that I drew, photographs of Rika that I printed off my phone. I actually had a few poster-size photographs. It would have been too embarrassing for me to take a picture file to a local printer and ask them to print a big size picture of a girl, but I had bought a regular A4 size colour printer that could print on photo print papers. I printed a big picture over multiple pages, like three by four, and taped them together to make my own Rika poster. We were not ''dating'', and by all means, we were more like friends. But I have grown more and more obsessed with her in a way that''s more than simply liking a girl. I wouldn''t even call it love. If my feelings were anything similar to love than obsession, I would call it a violently intense form of crush. There was only so much pictures could do though, as they only showed her appearances. I wanted more. I wanted to build a whole world where I can just indulge in Rika.

    I printed out a map of our town to mark down where Rika and I have been together, all the places where I ran into her by coincidence. I made a map of our school and did the same, also recording the times of our encounters. I wrote transcripts of all our conversations off my memory as soon as I could after talking to Rika, be it over the phone or in person. I printed out my favourite bits of her deadpan quotes and stuck them on the wall too.

    I plotted graphs on a time scale to show how much time I''ve spent with Rika each day. I was keeping statistics of common words she used and the common topics we talked about from my transcripts. They could have all been just stored on my computer but I wanted these records to surround me in physical form. I wanted to sit in my sweet spot in front of the desk and be completely engulfed by everything about Rika. All the moments were recorded, not just as memories, but as physically undeniable presence in front of my eyes. This allowed me to do more than just gaze at her beautiful faces on the countless pictures I have put up. I had the whole Rika experience in my room. This wasn''t a substitute to keep me going during the time I couldn''t see her. This was part of the whole package of having her in my life. I would not say these pictures and records mattered more than the real Rika, but I almost felt like these records were what kept my experiences with her real, for otherwise they might as well all have been a fantasy, only to be re-affirmed by Rika herself in person. Set up this way, my feelings, thoughts, and invaluable interactions with her were manifested in undeniable physical form, they were the proof of their existence, and in this way, also the proof that I exist in her life, as much as she exists in my life like a sore spot that hurts so much but also feels so good to scratch.

    Now as I sit and let myself re-connect and merge into the fabric of the reality that binds us together, I feel reassured that everything will be okay again. Rika is around. She is alive. She still exists somewhere. It''s been three weeks and five days since her disappearance, and although she has not gotten in touch with me during all this time, I knew everything was okay, and we shall meet again when the right time comes. Until then, I have to hold strong and continue what I have to do.

    #17

    "Dude I saw you with this girl Rika at the mall yesterday", Peko asked me in the morning before the homeroom started.

    "Oh you did?"

    "Yes, what''s up man? You managed to get a date with her?"

    "Nah it wasn''t a date. We were just hanging out"

    "A boy and a girl hang out together alone in a mall after school, that sounds like a date to me man. What happened? Did she accept your confession? That sounds impossible"

    "I ended up almost killing her a few days ago"

    "What the fuck?"

    "It''s embarrassing to say what or how it happened. It was my mistake"

    "But she looks okay now? What happened after you ''almost killed'' her?"

    "She almost killed me"

    "Lol, what in the fuck..? You are talking like a creep"

    "Well, I am a creep after all ain''t I. Everyone seems to think so"

    "Yeah I''m probably your best ¨C or even the only ¨C friend and I still think you are a creep too"

    "Thanks for that mate"

    "No problem. It''s quite amazing how you suddenly end up going out with probably the prettiest girl in our year though. I still can''t get my head around it"

    "No, as I said, we are not going out. We are just hanging out"

    "Same thing"

    "You won''t understand"

    "Yeah whatever man, congrats anyway. So how was the date?"

    "We killed some time"

    "Doesn''t sound particularly exciting"

    "No, it wasn''t. But it was. In a way. I don''t know man"

    "You are being weird again"

    "Because I am"

    "You freak, lol. Anyways hope it''s all good man. Let me know if you in any trouble or need anything"

    "Cheers bro"

    As Peko walked back to his desk and the teacher came in to start the homeroom, I reminisced back on my day before with Rika. She certainly was a weirder one. Unlike the pretty, likable, and popular girl image she held at school. I knew many guys had a crush on her, and some have even confessed already although we are only in the second month of the school year by now, like that blonde dude that beat me up before. Knowing her better now, she''s probably enjoyed the idea of me getting beaten up. But now that she seems to have opened up to me, talk about what she thought and how she felt, I felt closer to her and liked her even more, although in a bit of a weird way.

    I wanted to do what she likes, and I wanted to stop what she didn''t like. And that meant I now had a target, and a self-given mission to make Rika''s life better.

 But you cant kill me

    #18

    The room is still pitch black. Now that I deduced I am in some kind of a bed with a breathing mask on my face, I suspect I am injured and hospitalized somehow, although this would be a very weird kind of a hospital, and I do not feel any pain in my body. Am I in a coma? Am I paralyzed? The fact that I could not move my limbs, let alone even just fingers, probably meant one of these was possible. What happened to me? I do not know, but I probably deserve it after all that I have done. I didn''t mean it in a bad way, but I did bring a bad end to people who didn''t deserve it ¨C most of them anyway.

    #Clang#

    I heard some metallic sound that echoed into the room and felt a very subtle breeze brush over me for a second. It''s the door. Someone opened the door. Then I heard the footsteps, getting closer to me, and then stopping maybe a meter away from me.

    "You are awake Tobi"

    A male voice spoke. I would not say it belonged to an old man, but it was definitely not a young one. Maybe someone around forty-something.

    I tried to speak, but the breathing mask on my face made it difficult to do so, and I realized I actually can''t open my mouth.

    "I will take off the restraint on your jaws. Don''t do anything funny ¨C not that you can do anything anyway though"

    Then I felt the mask getting yanked out of my nose and mouth, and some sort of a belt that was wrapped around my head to keep my mouth shut being removed. Funny I didn''t think about it before, that my face was unnaturally tied like this the whole time.

    "I will ask you a few questions, and you will answer. Clearly, but you don''t have to be concise. Feel free to tell me as much detail as you can remember"

    "Who are you?"

    "There¡¯s no need for you to know my name"

    "Are you a doctor? Or the police?"

    "I guess you could say I''m some sort of a detective. Let''s leave it at that"

    "What happened to me?"

    "You are being detained and restrained in this facility"

    "For what?"

    "To serve for your crime, and to act as a bait"

    "Okay, I get that I''m caught. I''m fucked. But am I more fucked than I realise? Am I paralyzed or something?"

    "No. You are just drugged. It will wear out eventually and you will feel your body again"

    "You are not a police are you?"

    "No I''m not. But I did say I''m kind of a detective. I figured you out. I figured the whole thing out. And I''m taking actions to put an end to this disaster"

    "Who hired you?"

    "No one. I''m working for myself"

    "Fack. You doing all this without getting paid?"

    "There will be a personal reward for me after all this"

    "Whatever. So what about the second part of what you said before ¨C what do you mean I''m acting as bait?"

    "You know it fully well"

    "I have no idea what you are talking about"

    "For Rika. Rika will come here"

    Fack. My hazy mind was clearing up and I could now place my current state in the bigger context of things.

    "I have no fucking clue what you are talking about"

    Whack. I hear sound of something kicking something else I can''t see.

    "Gees. How foolish of me. You won''t feel it now even when I kick you. I will have to hurt you after the medicine wears out"

    "What the fuck do you want from me?"

    "As I said, you are just a bait for Rika. She will come. As long as you are here. She will come. Because she has to. You know that"

    "No she won''t"

    "Yes she will. I know"

    With that, I heard the sound of footsteps getting further away from me, and a metal door getting shut with a clanging sound.

    Run Rika. Please don''t come.

    #19

    It was getting closer to summer. Hot enough to make everyone sweat in the classroom, but not hot enough to meet the school regulation to turn on the in-class air conditioner. Normally we don''t mangle in the school because we did not want to draw any attention or cause rumors, but Rika and I often met at the sports equipment storage room during lunchtime and ate our lunches there together in peace, away from all the plebs ¨C oh, that''s a bad word. For some reason Rika hated the word ''plebs'' when we bitch about other people in school, she said using that word makes us sound like arrogant dickheads, the kind of people she hates the most. So she preferred to use (what she thinks is) the less offensive term ''normalfag''. I didn''t like that word either personally because it was too clich¨¦ of a word to be used by self-claimed outsiders, but Rika said she likes it ¨C it sounded hip, like youngster''s language. Whatever.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    On that day we were by ourselves again in the storeroom eating lunch. Rika ate simple most of the time. It looked like she mainly lived on potatoes. I once asked her if she doesn''t get sick of it, but she says this is her comfort food so I shouldn''t butt in. Fine.

    So we had our lunch together, talking about benign things, as I liked to do during those days ¨C to forget the non-benign things, things that I have done which I never wanted to talk about.

    The school bell rang signaling the lunchtime is over in five minutes, and we hopped down from the piled-up mattresses and made our way to the door. To our surprise, the door was locked. Shit. Why now? I know normally the storeroom should stay locked, but most of the time it wasn''t because there will always be one or more classes having PE any time of the day, and people needed to get things in and out of the storeroom. It looks like some idiot got scolded for not locking the door last time and remembered to lock it at a very inconvenient timing for us.

    "It looks like we are locked", I shrugged and told her. No big deal actually I thought, and besides this was a chance to spend even more time with Rika alone.

    "I want to get out"

    "Erm, but it''s locked from outside. Somebody will come eventually to get something from here, maybe by the next class time"

    "I NEED to get out"

    "Gees, calm down Rika"

    "I NEED to get out NOW"

    "hey, I''m sorry this happened and we''re locked in now. But what''s up, we can just chill here for an hour"

    Then she kinda turned her head away slightly and murmured something quietly without looking at me.

    "Sorry?"

    "I NEED TO PEE!", she snapped.

    "Oh, right. Erm¡­ I guess you can just go pee in the corner? I won''t look"

    "I can''t pee with you around here! That''s so embarrassing"

    "Heh, I thought you never get embarrassed"

    "Shut up and find a way out"

    So I hurriedly went around the storeroom to see if there was any way out, which was pretty stupid as it wasn''t like there would be any secret door in the sports equipment storage.

    "Hurry up. It''s getting urgent", Rika blurted.

    Then I looked up and saw there was a window on one of the walls just about two meters above the ground. The window was big enough for even me to go through.

    "Hey, I think we can pile up those mattresses and you can climb up to go through the window"

    "That will take forever to move the mattresses. You climb up there right now, get out, and open this freaking door"

    "Ok, I guess you are in hurry. I will stand below the window then, and you can climb on my shoulders. It''s not that high I think you can reach it fine"

    "Hell no. I''m not climbing up on your shoulders"

    "Why not?"

    Then she turned her head away again slightly and mumbled.

    "What did you say?"

    "If I climbed up I would probably end up PEEING ON YOUR HEAD!"

    "Oh. Sorry. That bad..? But I can''t climb up two meters myself, unless we

    quickly move those mats.."

    "I will stand below. Just stand on my shoulders"

    "Would it be alright?"

    "For fucks sake. Just do it now"

    "Okay okay, let''s go then"

    So Rika stands below me and I excuse myself and climb up, stepping on Rika''s shoulders. As we thought, I can reach the window frame easily.

    "Hurry up!", Rika rushed me

    "I got it, I got it. You can let go now I just need to pull myself up from the window ledge"

    Then I felt Rika let go of her hands around my ankles, and I dangle by the ledge and start to pull my body up, but then my grip on the window frame''s ledge slipped and I ended up falling.

    "Ouch, I''m sorry!"

    I realized I landed on Rika who probably didn''t have time to get away, but she didn''t give any answer. Uh oh. She would be pissed. Or.. maybe she already pissed.

    "Sorry, I screwed up. Let''s try this again"

    I quickly got off her and said, but when I looked down I realized Rika was still on the ground not moving, and to my horror, her neck was twisted in a way that is not possible for humans.

    "Oh fuck no! Rika! Are you okay?"

    I shouted in panic and knelt to embrace her. Oh no. What happened again. Why does this always happen. I hope she''s okay, but this time it looks serious, she probably broke her neck.

    I bring up Rika''s motionless body and tried to embrace her, then her head just draped downward as if her neckbones completely crushed and the only thing holding her head to her body was the skin of her neck.

    "Oh fuck no. Please no.. Rika¡­"

    This can''t be. I have to get help quickly. She will be alright. I''m sure she will be fine.

    "Help! Somebody help!" I screamed out as loud as I could with my neck stretched in the direction of the window, hoping that miracle will happen in time to save her.

    "Stop screaming, you dumbass"

    "Rika!" I look down again and there she was, looking perfectly fine again in my arms

    "Let go of me. It''s disgusting"

    "Are you okay?"

    Then she gave me a slap on my face

    "Again, and again. This shit again. All the time"

    "I''m sorry I keep hurting you... I really didn''t mean to.."

    "It was enough the first time, but it seems you can never stop"

    "I''m sorry.."

    Then Rika sat up, moving her head left and right, front and back as if to check she is okay.

    "I''m okay now. Just don''t do this again"

    As much as I was glad she was okay, it was astounding how she was not hurt ¨C wait.. it can''t be, I mean nobody would be fine if their neck snapped like this? But I guess it doesn''t matter. She''s fine.

    "Ok I''m sorry... I''m just glad you are okay. I thought I might have killed you"

    "You can''t"

    "er?"

    "You can''t kill me"

    "What do you mean?", I was puzzled

    "You can''t kill me"

    "er¡­ is your head alright? You mean you are like immortal?"

    "I am not immortal. But I said YOU can''t kill me"

    "That doesn''t make sense"

    "But I can kill YOU"

    "Wha..?"

    Before I realized what was happening, I saw a light flashing off a blade she took out from god knows where ¨C what the fu...

    She slit my throat with a knife. I tried to say something but I couldn''t speak, the only thing I felt was like air escaping my lungs through the open cut of my throat but at the same time, the back of my mouth was getting blocked with bubbling blood. I instinctively cover the wound with my hands to desperately stop the blood, but it felt too late. All this time Rika was giving me a cold glare, staring me directly in the eyes. This feels familiar. This feels like the time she was choking me and I passed out, but no, this time I''m dying. She''s killing me. Why. Was it that bad I fell onto her? Although she seems okay now? Why does she carry a knife? Why did she do this now? After what I have done for you Rika.. I thought we were something. Oh god. It''s that feeling again. I can''t tell if my life is escaping through the open gape of my throat or through my eyes ¨C getting sucked out by her fixed glare without a single blink. Everything was turning black.

    Fack. This happened before. But there is no coming back now. I''m not passing out. I''m actually dying. And there will be nothing. I return to nothing. Judging by how it feels now I don''t think there will even be an afterlife where I can regret anything. This was just it.

 Good old days, and a bad day

    #20

    This is my second entry, last time I ended where I was invited by Kooto to go to his mansion and see their in-house doctor. Yeah, that was the name of the boy. The only son of the landlord in our town, the one who owned everything I have ever seen in my life, for I have never ventured out of this town before ¨C I always told myself someday I would, that was my dream, but I hadn''t yet.

    Then happy days followed and now it is needless to count every single thing we did or talked about. There was nothing wrong with me or Kooto, I mean nothing like concussions. Come to think about it now it''s pretty impressive from a modern-day perspective that they knew about such things in the past. But anyways.

    After the check-up by the doctor, he asked me to stay for dinner. He turned out to be a much nicer boy than just a posh little brat I originally thought he may be. He was intrigued when I asked him if they had any potatoes during dinner because I was served a super nice lump of grilled meat like I have never tasted before, but I did miss my potatoes as it would have been the perfect side to that amazing meal. He said he''s never had potatoes before in his life, like never.

    That''s where we first noticed the vastly different lives we had lived. I was a commoner, as plain as one can be, just an average girl from a bit less than an average family selling things on the market that her father toiled for. My mother died when I was eight in the year of the great plague. That was very sad but I held strong as I realized I was the only joy left in the world for my dad. If I wavered, he would too.

    Kooto lived in a different world. Just like the potatoes, for example, he has not experienced things that are completely normal for the commoners like me. But at the same time, he''s experienced things that I thought I''d probably never experience in my life. He had maids in his household who seemed to take care of everything, a private tutor to teach him about things that I never heard of (or understood the point of learning when he energetically explained to me), and every now and then had a trip to the capital during the royal festivals ¨C gees, how I would have loved to go.

    He came to see me every day at the market, and always bought something, be it fruit, cabbages, carrots, whatever. But I stopped him from doing so after a few times because I felt like he was doing this out of pity, and I didn''t want to be pitied by him.

    We spent every day exploring the areas on the outskirts of the town. I showed him around the caves, forests, small ponds and streams, insanely big and awesome rocks that looked like an ancient giant had lobbed it onto the middle of the land for no reason. He seemed to enjoy all of this. As much as it was exciting for me to hear about his visits to the capital and all the fantastic things that were on show in royal festivals, he was genuinely interested in the life and the environment of someone like me. But then it became quite apparent that it wasn''t just because I was a curious commoner that he took an interest in me. I had never been ''loved'' before by a boy, but a girl''s sixth sense told me that he had feelings for me as boys do about girls.

    This flattered me, but I never showed it. In every shy little smile he made, every hastily made up excuses he came up with to cover up his feelings whenever it looked like he might end up revealing how he felt about me ¨C I loved it. I told myself that the time would come someday and he would confess to me properly, and if that time came far enough in the future it might even be a marriage proposal. I would be married into a noble family, which scared me a little, but it also made me blush to think about such things, not that I was intimidated by joining the class where I did not belong, but to imagine Kooto and I would be together forever felt like a dream and an unbearably embarrassing thought at the same time.

    Things went on like this for a few months. We''ve spent great summer together, watching many a sunset as they turned the sky into a molten core, something he proudly explained to me once back then as something he learned from his tutor. How cute, when I think about it now. Considering there had been no active volcanoes in our country for half a millennium up to that year, the way he was fascinated by it must have been like how the modern-day people are fascinated by legends of the old days that they have only heard as stories.

    It was about a fortnight before the autumn festival of that year in our town, that he told me he was going to this year''s royal festival in the capital. I was envious as hell, but I wished him well and asked him to tell me all about it when he gets back. He told me he will bring a special gift from the capital, and he has something important to tell me when he gets back ¨C my gosh, I thought, no, I knew he was going to confess to me when he gets back, maybe on the first evening of the autumn festival if he gets back in time. I was nervous as hell since he left for the capital, but at the same time I couldn''t wait for him to come back.

    #21

    "So I was like, whatever, because I had no intention of getting mixed up with such crap. But that bitch really bothered me. The way she accused me of being a slut when I haven''t done anything. It''s not my fault that the boy confessed to me. If she liked him, and if he liked her, this would not have happened right? Some girls are always like this, I get sick of it"A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    "Ah, I''m sorry to hear that"

    "What pisses me off even more is that now she''s going around spreading all these rumours. Like how I was such a slut and always play and lead the boys on, just to turn them down. This is getting too much"

    Poor Rika. She was the furthest girl from a slut that I could ever think of. She was absolutely, and totally indifferent to boys ¨C sadly including myself, and now she gets accused of being a slut. What the fuck.

    "So what are you gonna do?"

    "What can I do? I would kill her if I could!"

    "Maybe confront her directly about it?"

    "No I don''t want to have anything to do with that bitch again, and what''s worse, her crush is still chasing after me, trying to chat me up around the school and stuff, and she keeps on seeing this and starts making worse and worse comments to everyone"

    "That''s fucked up. Who is that boy anyway?"

    "Well, the blonde boy you vomited on before"

    "Oh shit. Somehow I feel like I''m related to this mess. I''m sorry"

    "Well, whatever ¨C sorry I burst into this, you asked me how I find my school life since I transferred in this year, so there you go. That''s my current school life in a nutshell"

    "And you have a boy who keeps on almost killing you"

    "That''s not funny at all"

    "Sorry¡­"

    "Let''s just talk about something else"

    "Right"

    A few days later I was waiting in the alley where I knew that bitch Rika told me about would pass by. I have been trailing her and saw that she always takes this shortcut on her way home. Not a smart move for a girl who makes someone like Rika her enemy.

    Then I heard some footsteps and the humming sound of a girl ¨C this is her. I waited for her to take a few more steps and jumped out right in front of her, for the maximum effect of intimidation. She was visibly startled and stuttered.

    "What.. what do you want?"

    "I want to talk to you"

    "Who are you..?"

    Then I could see that she was running her eyes from my head to my toes and seemed to be at least very slightly relieved that I was wearing the school uniform of our school ¨C at least I''m not some random criminal on the back alley.

    "The blonde dickhead you fancy, he beat me up, twice"

    "What?!"

    "I know it all. The first time he was confessing to the girl he actually likes ¨C not you ¨C I accidentally puked on his head"

    "What the hell are you talking about?"

    "That was my bad. Anyways, for that, he lured me to the school rooftop and beat me up there"

    "Whatever it was it sounds like you deserved it, you creep!"

    Then she turned around and started to pace away

    "Hey, I''m not done yet!" I quickly ran after her and grabbed her arm.

    "What the heck! Let go of me you freak!"

    "Then he beat me up the second time because I was going to confess to Rika"

    "What..that slut again?"

    "Don''t call her that, you are the one who''s acting like a bitch"

    "What the hell do you know!"

    "You see ¨C the boy you like, whom I have to say is an asshole himself, but anyway, he obviously likes her and has no interest in you. He probably never will. Rika has not led him on. He just likes her that much, to go out of his way to beat up some random pleb like me just for even trying to get closer to her"

    "I''m sick of hearing this bitch''s name! Fuck Rika!"

    Then she tried to yank her arm out from my grip, which I just realized that I was still holding firmly.

    "Anyways, my point is ¨C give it up. You are barking up a wrong tree"

    "You freak, what has all this got to do with you"

    "Look I''m just here to explain the situation so you''ll give it up and stop spreading shit rumours out of spite"

    Then her head dropped and she started to tremble slightly. I let go of her arm and just stood there in silence. Maybe what I said was right, but maybe it was a bit weird to confront her like this in this dodgy back alley, and maybe it was too cruel the way I said the things

    "I fucking hate people like you!"

    Suddenly the girl flashed out a knife from the side pocket of her backpack ¨C a butterfly knife? What kind of a girl carries such things?

    Then I realized she didn''t take out the knife just to threaten me, she was actually launching herself onto me with the knife pointed at my throat.

    Fack

    Purely out of instinct, I stretched out both of my arms to grab her front arm holding the knife, twisting it upwards to change its course. This has saved my life, but freakishly her head still moved forward with the momentum of the launch, then her arm folded with the knife jerking upward. The knife went cleanly through the spot where the bottom of jaws stop and the top of the throat begins, splashing blood all over.

    I was still grabbing her knife-holding arm as the knife was still stuck on her throat. Her eyes were fixed on mine full of lunatic rage ¨C this is one hell of a crazy bitch, but fuck no, this shouldn''t have happened.

    In my stupid panic, I quickly grabbed the knife out of her hand and pulled it out ¨C but I yanked on it too hard and not straight out so the knife ended up slashing downwards on her throat, making even more blood spurt out.

    She dropped onto the concrete floor clutching at her throat, her eyes still firmly fixed on mine, still full of rage, but fading slowly. Oh fuck, what did I do.

    "Furrrck you¡­"

    The girl spat out her final words with great struggle and died.

 People die when they are killed

    #22

    "You killed thirteen girls, and a man, from what I gathered"

    "I did no such thing"

    Whack. I felt a whip land across my bare stomach, sending a bolt of pain across my whole body. I was tied onto the bed, and I was no longer on drugs. I could feel the pain every time I got whipped, and every time my body jumped up in reflex the restraints holding my limbs down dug into my skin.

    "Let''s drop all these lies. I''m not asking you for confirmation. I''m telling you what I already know"

    The room was still dark and I couldn''t see anything. Maybe the guy had night vision goggles on for all I know, because his whipping was very precise, deliberately landing on the same spots multiple times.

    "Fuck. What do you want from me"

    Whack.

    "That does not sound like someone who repents"

    "Fuck you"

    Whack.

    "You know you shouldn''t die right? For the sake of your precious Rika"

    "Fuck. Why are you doing this?"

    "As I said, as long as you are here I''m certain that Rika will show up, to rescue her poor little slave"

    "You little piece of shit!"

    Whack. Oh, fack.

    "Now. I know what you did and I have some theories, but I want to hear it in your own words ¨C why did you do all this?"

    "I said, fuck you"

    Whack, whack, whack.

    "You know I can kill you. Like right now. It may not matter to you, but it will matter to Rika, aren''t I right?"

    Jesus, how does he know?

    "Right, you fuck. I did kill them all. What do you want?"

    "Let''s start with the first one ¨C why did you call Rika''s classmate?"

    "It was a fucking accident!"

    Whack.

    "You accidentally plant a knife through a girl''s throat in a back alley?"

    "Seriously, I didn''t mean it. I was sorry about it too"

    "You seem to kill a lot of people by ''accident''. Some people you''ve killed multiple times"

    Shit.

    "I have no fucking clue what you are talking about"

    Whack.

    "Let''s move on. Then you killed a man in the public toilet. What happened there?"

    "It was a fucking accident!"

    Whack ¨C this time the whip lands across my face. Fack this stings.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    "Don''t test my patience! You kill two people in the space of an hour, in

    different locations, by accident?"

    "Yes, you stupid fuck! I''m telling it like it is"

    Then unexpectedly, the man went silent, which made me more nervous as I was expecting another crack of a whip.

    "Let''s suppose you are telling the truth. You killed the first girl by accident. Then you killed another man ¨C possibly as a cover-up. These two murders you did not intend"

    "Now you get it"

    Whack. Fack. On my nose.

    "And the second girl?", I hear a very faint tremble in his voice.

    I could not answer him. Because it wasn''t an accident. My first planned and cold-blooded murder.

    Then the brutal whipping began all over my body and all I could do was wail in pain while he screamed "Why! Why did you kill her!"

    #23

    It was a few days after I accidentally killed the ''bitch'' that crossed Rika. I couldn''t believe what I have done ¨C how was a teenage boy supposed to react to accidentally committing a murder? Strangely though, I did not go into any mental breakdown, and I was able to nervously, but calmly continue my following days. The murder was reported on the same night on the local news channel, and it caused quite a stir in the school the next day, as expected. I wanted to see Rika for some comfort, although there was no way I could tell her about what happened, especially considering that I somehow was trying to do something for her, but with a terribly unexpected result, as always.

    But just as the luck would have it, she seemed to be occupied with some things in the following days. We could not meet up during lunchtimes or after school, and she just replied "sorry next time" to my texts. This made me nervous ¨C did she suspect anything? But even the police haven''t visited me yet, nobody knows. But then again, this happened after she specifically told me about this girl, so maybe she could reasonably suspect? But again, do I ¨C or any other normal schoolboy in my age ¨C look like someone who can commit murder and casually turn up at school the next day?

    The second murder of the man in the toilet also made the news. Initially as separate news, but soon the police and the media caught on that the weapon that was likely used for both murders were the same, or very similar. So all of sudden, the whole town was getting gripped with the fear of a possible serial killer on loose. For fuck''s sake, I''m just a normal boy who got into some horrible accident.

    On one unexpected afternoon, I received a text message from Rika just before school finished. "Let''s meet up after school today" it said.

    Hence we met up after school, and she duly greeted me. We just talked about random casual stuff and walked towards the mall which was not so far away from our school, and got a table in the caf¨¦ where we went previously, the very same place where Rika first told me about this girl that was bugging her, which was the start of this horrible incident.

    "So what do you think about the double murder on the news?", she casually dropped the question when there was that moment in a conversation between friends where a transition to a new topic would be the most natural thing to do. My heart dropped like a rock but I stayed calm.

    "It''s scary as hell. Two people were murdered on the same day. We haven''t even had a single murder case in this town in years"

    "Is that so" ¨C was this even a question?

    "er, so, what do you think?" ¨C was I looking for some justification?

    "What do you mean?"

    "Well, you know, the girl that got killed.. she was someone you hated"

    "Well, of course, I can''t say I''m ''glad'' that she died like that, but objectively my life is better without her" ¨C I felt vindicated.

    "That''s a very truthful and brave thing for you to say"

    "Why brave?"

    "Most people would feel guilty ¨C unjustifiably I have to say ¨C that someone they hated died a horrible death, you know, like bad conscience kinda thing"

    "Heck, it wasn''t me. People die when they are killed. Such is life"

    "Right. People die when they are killed.."

    Then she turned her head away slightly and murmured something, just soft enough for me to hear but not clear enough to be certain what she said, but it sounded like "but not everyone"

    "Sorry? What did you say?"

    "Button it up"

    "Huh?"

    "Your trousers button. It''s embarrassing"

    I then looked down and noticed that I was slouching back on the chair with legs parted, with my trousers unbuttoned.

    "Oops. Sorry"

    "sigh.. you really are clumsy, to the extent your clumsiness could kill"

    My heart sank again, but she probably didn''t mean anything by that, and she does use the word ''kill'' a lot anyways.

    "Haha..er.. yes, I knocked you out accidentally too when we first met"

    "Yes, and you tried to check out my fangs. What was that all about?"

    "Er... I don''t know. It was stupid of me. I just saw you sleeping and you had your arms crossed across your chest, and I just thought, oh, she''s like a vampire, and the curiosity got better of me before I could even realise what I was doing"

    "You really can''t control yourself ¨C your train of ridiculous thoughts get straight into action"

    "Well, that''s probably why I don''t have many friends.."

    "Poor you. Anyways. Let''s go"

    "Right"

    Then we walked out of the caf¨¦, said goodbye to each other, and headed home separately.

 Something Awful

    Warning: This chapter contains mature content

    #25

    It was the start of the autumn festival, which took place on the night of a full moon following the end of summer. Everyone in town was excited and busy preparing for the annual occasion. Markets closed early for the little girls like me, and stalls were put up specifically for the festival, selling yummy food and specially brewed drinks. It was only the last year that there was the first firework in our town, but this year everyone was already expecting and looking forward to it as if this was something that was a ''part of tradition''.

    I dressed up in my best dress (still not ''noble'' in any way, but at least they weren''t like rags) and strolled through the main festival street with my dad. I was enjoying the evening but to be honest, my heart was beating nervously the whole time ¨C will Kooto come back tonight? Unless something happened along the way like a late summer storm or something like that, he should be arriving this evening. Will he come straight to the festival? Or would he be too tired from the journey and come see me tomorrow instead. What did he bring for me as a present from the capital? What was he going to tell me when he sees me again.. was it really going to be a confession?

    As I was filled with these thoughts, someone tapped on my shoulder,

    "Hey Dori, you having a good evening?"

    It was my childhood friend Meto. We always used to play on the field together but not so much these days, firstly because he worked on the field during the day and I was at the market, and secondly because all my free time was now occupied with Kooto.

    "Oh hi, long time no see! How''s you?"

    "I''m fine. You wanna look around together for a while?" ¨C Meto asked me and looked at my dad as if to ask for permission

    "You guys go ahead, I will go get some specialty mead!", dad replied with a smile on his face. He doesn''t drink often but he did like the festival mead.

    "Sure, we haven''t hung out together in a long time"

    "Sweet! Let''s go then"

    Then we went around the festival together for a while. I thought it was good to spend some time with my friend again.

    "Dori, can I ask something?"

    "What?"

    "You seem to hang out with that son of the landlord awfully a lot these days"

    "Oh.. yes. Is that strange?"

    "Yes.. the nobles.., they don''t really care for us plebs do they?"

    "That''s not true at all! We have a great time together and we talk about many things ¨C he''s always curious to hear about the way we live"

    "He''s just playing and leading you on, Dori"

    "Hey, what are you talking about?"

    "I''m a guy. I can tell. He''s just messing with you"

    "Stop it. It''s not very nice of you to say such things, and you have no idea"

    "Do you.. like him?"

    I must have blushed instantly as I felt my face was getting hot.

    "That''s none of your business"

    "I knew it. You like this pretentious scum"

    "Shut your mouth ¨C you are way out of the line"

    "Have you ever thought of me as a guy?"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "Oh well, never mind. Sorry I was a bit worked up"

    "Why would you be?"

    "Dori, you are my good friend. I care for you a lot. Awfully lot. I just didn''t want you to get hurt by a bad man"

    "Thanks for the care, but c''mon, you don''t even know him"

    "I guess. Sorry. I was out of line"

    "Apology accepted"

    Then we walked a little longer, a bit of awkward silence between us, but we go back a long time and it''s not the first time we quarreled. Heck, it was just a verbal spat after all. When we were kids we used to actually throw punches at each other, the thought of that made me chuckle a bit.

    "What are you laughing about?"

    "Ah nothing. I was just thinking about how we used to get in to fight and punch each other when we were young. Now we are just fighting with words ¨C I guess we both grew up a little"If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    "Haha. That''s right. You surely did grow a lot"

    "Meh, I''m still too short though, I wish I was a bit taller"

    "Nah it''s cute for a girl to be short. Anyway, can I buy you a drink to make up for earlier bad?"

    "Cool! Sure"

    Then Meto gave me a thumbs up and a wink and walked across the crowd to a drinks stall, popping back out shortly with two wooden mugs on his hands.

    "It''s the Autumn Juice ¨C you''ve always liked this"

    "Thanks!"

    "Cheers, and bottoms up!"

    The wooden mugs made a blunt sound as we cheered and we both gulped down the juice in one go. Somehow it didn''t taste so good, like slightly bitter. Maybe one of the fruits didn''t mature so well this year. It''s a pity. But I didn''t want to comment on it as Meto made the nice gesture of buying them for me.

    "Let''s get back to my old man. I think he''d be worried if I came back too late"

    "Sure"

    Then we started to walk back, but after few steps, I felt like I was feeling a bit tipsy. I looked to my side to ask Meto if he feels alright ¨C because we drank the same juice ¨C but I couldn''t move my mouth properly and felt like I was only drooling when I was trying to speak. I couldn''t even slur.

    Meto then looked at me and smiled.

    "Are you alright?"

    I wanted to say help me Meto, but I really couldn''t speak and I felt my knees were giving away.

    "Oh, you look awfully unwell. I think you need to have a lie down"

    Meto put his arms around me to prop me up and started to walk towards a nearby inn. My feet were just dragging on the stone-paved ground and I could no longer stand straight by myself. What''s happening to me? And where is Meto taking me?

    I was feeling so dizzy that I can''t clearly remember how it happened, but I remembered us entering the inn, Meto giving a few coins to the innkeeper who gave him a slimy grin and a thumbs-up, and then Meto carried me upstairs into a room on his back. He gently laid me down on the bed and just stared at me for a minute, and I was starting to feel a bit better and my mind was clearing up, but my body got worse and I couldn''t move myself at all.

    "Oh, Dori. I wished our first time would be nicer"

    What''s got into his head?

    "But you left with no option but this. I can''t let you be taken by that little fag. He can own everything in this town, but not you. You are mine"

    What the fuck is this.

    "I''m going to make love to you Dori. Why have you never looked at me as a man, I don''t know. Maybe because we''ve known each other since too young... but now we''ll make love and you will see what a man I am.

    Oh god no. This fucking piece of shit!

    "Once we are done you will be mine forever. No noble fag will take a girl who is not a maiden. Your first time will be me, and you will always be mine"

    Please help. Somebody.

    But I still couldn''t make any sound. I wanted to scream so bad but nothing could be done.

    It was like watching an inevitable horror show, where you knew what was going to happen, you wanted it to stop, but the ultimate moment of the worst nightmare just kept on getting closer. I saw Meto get undressed and walk towards me, stroking his disgusting dick that was already pointing up. This is the worst.

    "I know you can''t move. I was told the potion will have this effect for a while, but I don''t know if you can feel anything while the effect lasts. It would be a pity if you couldn''t"

    I fucking wish I couldn''t. I fucking wish I just died, right here, right now, rather than be taken by this disgusting piece of shit.

    Then the inevitable came. He started to undress me, against all my will, and there was absolutely nothing I could do, no way I could resist, I was paralysed as if I was under a witch''s spell, it must be the sick potion he must have gotten somewhere and slipped into my drink.

    I was now fully exposed. I was dying inside in shame and humiliation, self-pity and rage. I couldn''t even move my eyelids to close them. My eyes were getting dry and the tears started to roll out, but I would have cried anyway. Then I felt something horribly disgusting thrust into me. I could feel it and it hurt so fucking much. This is it. It''s all over now. I''m fucked. Literally.

    I wanted to look away, but Meto was right on top of me. His face was close to mine, looking right into my eyes. It was so disgusting. I wished I could kill him with my eyes. Then he started to hump faster and faster, panting like an animal, and I could feel something grossly warm shoot and squirm into my tummy. This motherfucker. Why did this happen to me. Why. How is such a thing allowed to happen.

    After what seemed like an eternity where he just stopped still with his repulsive thing in my body, he finally pulled it out and rolled his body over next to mine, and wrapped his arms around me, fondling my breast. You fucking molester. I will kill you. I swear I will kill you.

    "How was it, honey?"

    Even his voice felt sticky, like his sweaty body pressed against my naked body.

    That''s when I heard a loud thumping sound outside the room, and in a very short moment, the door of the room flung open, the lock that kept the door shut getting yanked out of the door frame and flew across the room to smash the window. To my absolute joy and horror, it was Kooto.

    Oh god. He''s here to save me. But I can''t bear to live with the fact that he''s seen me like this. Please. Turn back the time, to the day before all this happened, or even to the day before I met Kooto, or even to the day before I was even born into this fucked up world.

    "What¡­ how could you..", Kooto was trembling with rage.

    "What''s up boy? Why are you disturbing us lovers?", Meto cheekily taunted him with a disgusting smirk on his face.

    "How.. how could you.. and I wanted to..", Kooto could barely speak coherently, and his voice was cracking.

    "Get outta here little boy. You have no business here"

    Just as Meto finished these words, Kooto flashed out a dagger from the inside pocket of his coat and lunged onto the bed. Meto was completely caught by surprise and all he could do was lift his arms up trying to cover his face, which only resulted in a few of his right fingers getting slashed off clean, and he let out a squeal like a pathetic little girl.

    "I kill you. I fucking kill you"

    Kooto was not done. Just as Meto was grabbing his now mutilated right hand with his left hand, he found the opening and stuck his dagger right into Meto''s eye.

    "Fuuuuuuck!"

    I can''t say I felt sorry for this piece of shit. I would have liked to do this to him myself, but it was horribly gory and I wished I could turn my eyes away.

    Kooto looked like he was possessed. After he pulled out the dagger from Meto''s eye, he lifted the dagger high and plunged it right into Meto''s chest. I could hear something crack, maybe the dagger crushed through his ribs. But it wasn''t over yet. Kooto pulled out the knife again and went on a mad rampage of stabbing and slashing the fucker, as if to turn him into a pulp.

    After the moment of violent madness. It was all over. I was crying inside. I couldn''t even feel happy anymore that Kooto came to revenge for me. It was all too late. Now I was ruined. He might have been enraged with Meto, but it didn''t change the fact that I was no longer a maiden, I could never be his again. What could have been, the infinite possibility of our future was cruelly destroyed, as much as the cowardly man laying next to me whose corpse no longer even resembled that of a human body.

    "Why¡­ how could you do this.."

    Kooto then finally turned his eyes on me. I wanted to move my limbs to cover my bare breasts but I still couldn''t move myself. I wanted to say something to him although I didn''t know what exactly, but I physically couldn''t anyway.

    "and I thought¡­ I thought we could¡­"

    I know Kooto. We could have been something special. We already had something special.

    "How could you cheat on me like this.. what a fool I was.."

    What the fuck?

    "What a fucking stupid fool I was! And what a fucking stupid shit I prepared!"

    Then Kooto took out something small from his inside pocket and threw it down, and it made a metallic clang as it hit the floor. Was this.. a ring? Oh my.. he brought a ring.. he was going to...

    "I''m such a fucking idiot! I loved you! I really loved you.. and I thought we could.. even be married ¨C I waited all this time to make tonight a special night"

    I''m sorry Kooto..

    ".. and you betray me like this"

    What ¨C hold on,

    ".. and you can''t even speak for yourself ¨C yeah that''s right, you know what you did, you got caught red-handed, or more like, with your legs wide open, you fucking slut"

    No. Fuck. He''s misunderstanding the whole thing.

    "I hate you. I fucking hate you"

    Please, get your head straight. This is not what you think

    "So be it. Let''s end it right here. You''ve got anything to say for yourself?"

    I wish I could speak. I wished with all my heart and soul, but I couldn''t.

    "That does it. You can''t even say sorry for the last time. You fooled me all this time while fucking around behind my back"

    No!

    "Good bye.. Rika¡­.I loved you.."

    Then he brought the dagger to my throat and cut it deep from left to right. Kooto ¨C this is wrong. This is just so fucking wrong. I can die. I wished I did when all this disgusting shit was happening. But I can''t die misunderstood like this. This is so fucking wrong. So fucking unfair. You really are a fool.

    Then everything was fading to black. I heard some more footsteps coming up the stairs. I couldn''t see anything anymore. The cut on my throat hurt so much and I felt like suffocating in my own blood. I heard some loud gasps. There must be a small crowd of people in the room or something.

    "Master Kooto Biaz. You are under arrest. Please drop your weapon and give yourself up"

    I heard a manly voice speak. It must be the town''s constable. And I heard the sobbing sound of a lady, which morphed into a barely audible whisper

    "Tobi¡­ oh Tobi¡­ what have you done.."

    That was it. That''s how I died. The first time.

 Wildest Dreams

    #26

    "Come back"

    A voice boomed in my head and my body jerked up with my mouth open with a big gasp. What the fuck happened?

    I maniacally looked around and saw Rika sitting right next to me. Looking calm and composed, as she always does.

    "You.. wait.."

    I brought my hands onto my throat ¨C I remember the last scenes before I blacked out. I was sure, Rika had a knife, and she slit my throat. I was bleeding. I was dying ¨C no. I actually died. But now I felt nothing in my throat. My skin was intact. Nothing had been cut.

    "What happened? Did I fall asleep? Fuck, it''s like I had the craziest dream ever!"

    "It wasn''t a dream"

    "huh?"

    "I killed you. You were dead. And I brought you back"

    "What?!" ¨C how was one supposed to react to something like this?

    "I don''t know if you should count yourself lucky, or cursed. But you came back from death, unlike the girl and the man you killed before"

    Fuck, she knew. How, why?

    "Not that it was your own doing. I brought you back from death"

    "Sorry, I''m extremely confused. Could you please explain..?"

    She chuckled and continued.

    "Well, you almost killed me too. Remember you dropped on my head?"

    "er.. yes, I''m sorry, I didn''t mean to.."

    "Stop fucking saying that!" Rika snapped.

    "hugh¡­ I''ll calm down and explain. You broke my neck. I should have died. Any normal human being WOULD have died"

    "But¡­ you survived..?"

    "Yes. I told you you can''t kill me"

    "We''ve had this conversation before... you are something else, aren''t you? You are¡­ immortal?"

    "You fool. I will say this again. YOU can''t kill me. Not again. Never again"

    "I''m still confused.. maybe I have a concussion? Is all this real?"

    "It depends on the way you look at it. But I will save that explanation until later"

    "I''m completely lost. I don''t understand anything at all"

    "You don''t need to. At least not for now. Just trust me and do as I say from now on"

    "er¡­ ok?"

    "I will say this just once. Get it engraved on the inside wall of your thick skull ¨C don''t die. Don''t you ever dare to die. Only I can take your life, and bring you back"

    As I sat there still puzzled, I noticed she sneakily took out a dagger from somewhere and was adjusting her grip on it on her side ¨C oh shit, not again...

    This time she stabbed the knife right into my chest, shoving the blade between my ribs and puncturing my heart in an instant. It was fucking painful. And all went black. Man. This is getting old quickly.

    Predictably, I woke up soaked in sweat. I don''t know how much time has passed, but I was in my room. Things were starting to make a little sense, although it was crazy to believe this could actually happen ¨C coming back from death? And Rika has power to do that? But why only me?

    I took out my phone from my pocket to check what time it was. It was close to midnight and I saw that I had an unread message.

    "Come meet me at the rooftop after school tomorrow"

    Right. I trust you this time. It is Rika.

    The next day after school I was walking up the stairs leading to the rooftop again. I have done this a few times now, but I guess things are different this time. I reach the end of the stairs and the door was still closed. Rika''s maybe not here yet, so I opened the door and step out.

    "Sike! Motherfucker!" ¨C oh fuck not again

    I felt something hard whack me on the back of my head and I drop like a rock onto the concrete ground. Gees, I won''t die from this but this hurts nonetheless.

    I see the blonde delinquent dickhead standing there with a baseball bat over his shoulders with a big grin on his face.

    "How..? what..?"

    "That was for Rika" ¨C I knew what he was going to say next

    "And this one''s from m-" he lifted the bat to swing it down on me again

    "Stop. That''s enough" oh, now, this is Rika''s voice

    "Meh, you spoil the fun"

    "Maybe there will be next time"

    "I hope so. This is fun"

    "Now get out"

    "Yes, my lady", the dickhead theatrically bows his head and walked down the stairs.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    "Get up"

    "Hell, you asked him to do this to me again?"

    "Yeah"

    "What''s the fucking point?! I now know you can kill me and bring me back. Were you trying to get him to kill me to prove that he can''t kill me or what?"

    "Nah, it was just for fun. Let''s say it''s a running joke"

    "For fuck''s sake, this joke ain''t funny"

    "Oh, and don''t get it wrong. You CAN get killed, and you won''t come back"

    "Huh?"

    "I can bring you back to life only if it was me that killed you"

    "I don''t know what to think or believe anymore"

    Rika just smiled and walked towards the fence of the roof, the sun was setting down bleeding the beautiful red onto the sky.

    I just followed her quietly and stood next to her, looking out to the sky as she was doing.

    "It''s beautiful here isn''t it", Rika broke the silence

    "Yes"

    "We used to do this a lot"

    "Huh?"

    "You, me. Long long time ago"

    "That doesn''t make sense. Nothing you have been saying makes any sense"

    "Consider yourself lucky. Nobody explained anything to me ever. I had to figure it all out myself. All alone. By trial and error, and with lots of bloody ends"

    "Just what are you..?"

    "That is the right question. It is up to you to figure out what you are. But you can ask me what I am"

    "So..?"

    "I''m the girl you killed a long time ago"

    "What the fuck?"

    She just gave me an angry glare, as if she was actually remembering an angry moment from a long time ago.

    "er.. you told me I can''t kill you though?"

    "Only since then"

    "Ok, fill me in from the start"

    "It goes back centuries. 622 years to be exact. You killed me on the first full moon of Autumn that year, on the night of mid-autumn''s festival we have in this town every year"

    "That still doesn''t make any sense, but do go on"

    "I don''t know how, or why, but I came back to life"

    This is the craziest thing I''ve ever heard.

    "And every year, I died again. On the same night of mid-autumn''s festival, for the past 622 years"

    "That is horrible"

    "You bet. But I''m used to it now. Lots of things happened in different variations. I inevitably die on the same night, but I always come back. Somewhere along the line, you ''killed'' me. The first time was puzzling, as I didn''t die when it would have been humanly impossible for me to survive that ¨C well, it is already impossible that I die every year and come back, but it was almost like I couldn''t be killed by you"

    "What makes you think that?"

    "Because every year I die in different ways, so although I always come back, I know I can be killed. But until then, no matter what fucked up mistake you make in between that should have resulted in me dying, I didn''t"

    "Man you must think I''m horrible.. but er, I don''t recall any of this, I only met you this spring ¨C so is this some kind of a time loop?" ¨C nothing was unbelievable anymore although it felt silly I was asking about something stupid like a time loop.

    "In a very loose sense yes. I die, but the world continues. I ''hibernate'' until the spring, when I come out again all fresh and clean, and resume my ''life''"

    "Is this like a re-incarnation?"

    "Not quite. I come back as same age. Always 16. I''ve never turned 17, although technically I''ve lived 622 years"

    "Hang on ¨C but if you ''die'', and come back the next year, wouldn''t that be like super weird to everyone? To put it most mildly that is"

    "After I die, every time, people just forget about me, forget the fact that I ever existed. Life continues and no one has any memory of me, and I come back the next year, sometimes meet the same people, and they treat me like it''s the first time they ever met me"

    "So memory of you gets erased after you die, then you come back, it''s like only you are stuck in your own time loop"

    "Something like that"

    "And.. how is all this related to me?"

    She then flashed another blitz of anger in her eyes and swiftly kicked me on my balls

    "YOU are the fucking idiot who caused all this"

    "Ouch¡­ I don''t know what happened but I''m sorry"

    "Sigh.. you will never know"

    "so.. am I in the same time loop as you? I always come back to your life?"

    "Not exactly. You came and went, in irregular intervals. Sometimes I met you again the next year, sometimes you wouldn''t turn up for like decades"

    "Did you miss me then?"

    Another kick in my balls.

    "Ouch, I need them you know?!"

    "Fuck you. You will never need them. I know that for a fact ¨C never!"

    Awkward silence.

    "so.. what do I do? How do I come back into your life? Am I also re-incarnating every now and then?"

    "You are easy to identify. You will always have that hateful name Tobi. No matter what decade or century it is"

    "Huh?"

    "that was.. a nickname we used between us", did Rika just blush a little?

    "Anyways. That''s irrelevant. But of course, it can happen that there can be other boys with the same name. It''s not common but it does happen"

    "How do you know then, that I am.. .this same ''Tobi''?"

    "Because you invariably end up accidentally killing me, or shall I say, almost killing me. So when that happens and I don''t die, I know it''s you"

    "I don''t know if that''s good or bad"

    "Me neither"

    Silence.

    "So.. what now?"

    "I don''t know. This is the first time things have taken a different turn. You ended up killing someone, someone totally unrelated to our doomed fate"

    "Yes I did.. how did you know?"

    "I just know. I don''t want to. But I just do"

    "It was an accident.."

    "I know. But it''s fine by me"

    "Really?"

    "Yes. Because that put a lot of things into perspective, the fact that you can permanently kill someone, but just not me"

    "What does that mean?"

    "Like I said. Nobody ever told or explained anything to me. There isn''t some human-like god or angel or even a devil that comes to you and speaks to you after you die. There is no fucking afterlife. But I come back, so I have time to contemplate. To go over the details. To deduce the pattern, to identify what''s happening and why"

    "That sounds depressing"

    "Irrelevant now. What became clear now is that you are an abnormally"

    "That''s a hell of a weird thing to say for a girl that''s been dying and coming back to life for past 622 years" ¨C I instinctively cover my balls this time, but Rika didn''t make a move

    "I think I know what you are now, but as I said, that''s for you to figure out. I know why I keep coming back, and why you could never kill me again after the first time"

    "And that would be..?"

    "You have wronged me. Grievously. I consider this as some grotesque form of justice, some kinda fucked up cosmic ''reward'' let''s say, that you shall never hurt me and take my life away from me again. And this is now proven by the fact that you are capable of and did kill other lives, and they are never coming back again" ¨C I felt a pang of guilt thinking about the bitch and the man in the toilet (that was a kinda horrible way to describe people that I killed accidentally), but everything was so surreal and I was captivated by Rika''s story.

    "I''m glad justice is being served. But why do you still die every year?"

    "I think it''s because to some extent, you can''t change the destiny. Although you killed me the first time by accident, it was still my fate that I shall not live past the night. Yet it''s like I am being cruelly rewarded to live my life again repeatedly. So I can relive this world and ''enjoy'' the life that had been cut short for me, but I get put back into my place when the fateful night comes"

    This was all too much to take in, let alone comprehend

    "So what now?"

    "I have some new theories, which I want to prove if they are true"

    "How?"

    "Go kill another girl"

 Not until the next spring

    #27

    Zap.

    "ARgggggh!", I screamed in pain as an electric shocker was thrust into my left side just below the rib cage and the lightning shock surged through my body ¨C enough to hurt like hell, but not enough to make me pass out.

    "So tell me. Why did you kill her?", the now-familiar voice of a man asked me as I still lay in the darkness.

    "You are fucked up. I was already caught by the police. They were bringing me to the station. I was going to be tried and probably get executed. I don''t know what fucking grudge you hold but there is no point you doing this to me now" ¨C actually, what fucking happened? I remember sitting inside the police transport, and that''s where my memory cuts off and skipped to the point where I woke up in this dreadful dark place.

    Zap. Zap. Fack.

    "I don''t actually give a fuck what other girls you killed. It''s despicable but that is to be handled by the law. I''m normally a man of laws, but this one you are right, I hold fucking grudge, like you would never know"

    "oh I see.. you her father or something?"

    "FUCK YOU!"

    I get zapped repeatedly and I''m almost on the verge of blacking out, but he stopped after maybe just one last time before I would have lost consciousness.

    "You killed my daughter. My one and only daughter"

    "I guess I have to say I''m sorry. Actually, I really am sorry.." I was sincere this time.

    "That won''t bring her back. It never will. Nothing you can do or no amount of apologies you make will ever bring her back."

    "What is the point of all this then?"

    "I hate you, but I don''t give a fuck about you. You are just a lump of meat, an insect to be squashed ¨C but I want that bitch"

    "that bitch?"

    "Rika"

    Why does he want Rika ¨C does he know anything about how shits are related?

    "Tell me, why do you want Rika?"

    "Because she''s the one who led you to kill my daughter, and I believe I can find a way to bring her back if I can catch her"

    "You are bat shit crazy", okay, this guy really was bat shit crazy, but I knew he was onto something

    "You say that now. But she will come. She will come to find you again. And I will catch her, and bring everything back to normal"

    "Your daughter can never come back to life, and Rika will never come here, she won''t even know where I am, fuck I don''t even know where I am now"

    "You think I''m doing this shit without a plan? She will find out, and she can''t help but come here trying to get you out, it''s just a matter of time"

    "Whatever the fuck you say ¨C and when would that be?"

    "Next spring"

    #28

    I''m waiting in the park at night. It''s the night of the crescent moon, as dark as the night gets. I see the girl walking across the grass field, make her way to the bushes on the other end. She''s holding a little paper packet in her hand

    "Come out kitties"

    She beckons into the darkness as she whispers.

    One fat cat comes out, looks around, and three more kittens come out as well a moment later.

    "How are you feeling today? Your babies are looking healthy"

    The cat meows and smells the food the girl has taken out from the bag and laid out on the grass. She takes one bite, and soon the kittens lunge forward to feast themselves on the food.

    "Good girl. You need to eat well to be healthy again. I''m sorry I can''t take you home. This is the best I can do", the girl says somewhat sorrowfully.

    I feel bad. I found this girl maybe two weeks ago by chance. She was a nice girl, feeding the homeless cat and her kittens at night, every day, and it''s the sad truth that her genuine niceness is the reason why she will get killed here tonight because I knew for a fact she will be here again tonight, alone, with nobody around nearby at all, she was just the perfect target to kill ¨C for Rika.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    I slowly started to creep up behind her, closing the distance quietly, trying to not make any sound. But the animals have much more keen senses than us humans. The cat is suddenly startled

    "What''s wrong kitty?", she obviously didn''t hear me herself

    Meow.

    The cat looks like she senses a danger ¨C would this be trouble for me?

    Nevertheless, I can''t let this chance pass. Soon the kittens will grow up and they may move on, I have to take this opportunity while she''s here, so I take a few more steps to be closer.

    The cat arcs her back up ¨C I heard this is what cats do when they feel threatened and want to make themselves look bigger, but hey, I''m not here to do you any harm, and frankly, you should not risk the lives of your offsprings to protect a random girl, no matter how kind she has been to you.

    As if the cat received my inner thoughts as a telepathic message, she scuttles away in hurry, grabbing one of the kittens by the scuffle of her neck. Other kittens are startled and they follow their mom into the bushes.

    "Hey! What''s wrong?", the girl asks in the direction where the cats have run off to, and by this time I''m standing right behind her.

    I hesitate for a minute, not because I was uncertain about killing her all of sudden, but because I couldn''t decide whether I should say I''m sorry before I stab her or after.

    As I was thinking this, she must have felt a presence right behind her slouched back, and as soon as she saw me holding the knife she let out a squeal.

    Fuck I wasn''t quick enough. I should have slit her throat before she could scream as I did with the other guy. But luckily, I was quick enough to instinctively punch her hard in her stomach, she gasped and fell to the ground panting, unable to scream as she was catching breath.

    This is it.

    This time it is no accident, and I don''t feel particularly good about killing a nice girl that is kind to homeless animals, but it had to be done. I quickly kneeled on her, my right knee pressed hard against her chest and the left palm covering her mouth. The faint light from the crescent moon reflected on her glasses, and our eyes met briefly. Why. Why always these eyes. I thought to myself as I plunged the knife into her throat.

    #29

    "''A girl is brutally murdered in a park while feeding cats''. Come on, isn''t this a bit harsh?", Rika asked me, looking up from her phone as she was reading the news.

    "Fuck me. I don''t feel good about it either. But it was the best chance to do it and she was just unlucky to be such an easy target"

    "Your self-justification disgusts me"

    "You wanted me to do this. I did it only for you"

    "Well, thanks I guess"

    "So now what? What does this prove? I hope this helped you because I feel fucking horrible about this one, unlike the ''bitch'' I killed before. So this better have been worth it"

    "Unfortunately, nothing conclusive. I have a hunch I am correct, but this is not enough sample size to conclusively prove"

    "FUCK. I had to.."

    "Shhh, there are people around here"

    I calm myself as I was reminded that we are sitting in a caf¨¦, a public place

    "It did help me somewhat. So thank you for that. But it''s just not enough. I''m sorry"

    "Oh man. What more do you want from me?"

    "You need to kill another one"

    "Jesus.."

    "But let''s make some rules because we might have to do this a few more times"

    "I really don''t want to do it again"

    "Please. You owe me this much at least. It should be fine if we set some rules and principles"

    "What would that be?"

    "You target the bitches that actually deserve to be killed" ¨C I almost said ''such as yourself'' but held back. It was crazy how much love and hate I felt for this girl at the same time.

    "Here. I printed this out. This shall be your next target"

    Rika then laid down a small photo card on the table and pushed it towards me. I look down to check the photo.

    "Right. This I can somewhat agree with. But you are truly evil"

    Rika just grinned back ¨C an evil grin.

    #30

    "Tobi Krux, you are under arrest for murder of.. thirteen girls and a man you fucking asshole!"

    A police baton came crashing down on my head. There was genuine anger on the hand that gripped this blunt object of violence.

    "I don''t know what you are talking about"

    "Tobi.. why¡­ is this real... why did you¡­", my mom came into the room, half out of herself with disbelief, and not coming any closer to me than a few steps away ¨C maybe even my own mom is disgusted with me now.

    "You guys got nothing on me"

    "You are busted. Give it up. We will bring you to justice, and you will be executed as you deserve"

    "Like I give a fuck"

    "Where is Rika?!"

    "Who?"

    Another brute hit of a baton landed on the back of my head

    "Oh fuck come on. I''m sure you guys are not allowed to do this"

    "Just answer the fucking question. Where is Rika?"

    "I have no fucking clue. And she has nothing to do with anything"

    Then the police officer that was pressing me down against the floor turned me over and looked me in the eyes, then spitting on my face.

    "We know she''s your partner in crime. We will catch her, just like we got you now"

    I found this unwavering determination and self-belief hilarious, so I burst out laughing. I couldn''t help it

    "What the fuck are you laughing about!"

    The cop gave a choking grip on my throat and yelled at my face.

    "You guys have no fucking clue. You will never find her again ¨C never"

    "We will find her ¨C whether you fuckhead cooperate or not"

    "You can''t. I bet you my life that you can''t. At least until the next spring"

    Maybe I said more than I should have, but it was hilarious and it wasn''t like there was anything they could have done. The cops brute-forced me up with handcuffs on my wrists and my ankles chained, dragging me down the corridors and the stairs banging me around a good deal along the way ¨C for fuck''s sake guys, I live on the thirteenth floor.

 Sweetest of them all

    #31

    Tobi..? I noticed a name near the bottom of the student list, ranked according to the mid-term exam result. That name sent a pang through my heart. It hurt. This is not the first time, but it''s been a very long time since I saw this name last. Maybe more than thirty years ago. I had to check for myself if this was who I thought it may be.

    After some digging around, it turned out this ''Tobi'' was just in the next class. I wanted to see him, to see how he looks this time, not that I missed him in any sense, but he is an undeniable part of the puzzle nevertheless, and I can''t say I never enjoyed any single moment that we shared ¨C it''s been too long for me to keep denying anything remotely good that happened between us. By this time I acknowledged that some things were worth reminiscing back at, as there were so few moments like that in my life.

    I got chatty with the class gossip girl to ask a few questions about this Tobi boy in the next class. She was a bit surprised I asked about him, but it was so obviously and completely out of the question that I would have any romantic interest in that boy, so she thought I was just after some creepy rumors. I didn''t know whether to be glad or feel bad that this Tobi had such a bad reputation. I was told that he was a quiet and awkward boy in the class, always looking kinda creepy, but very good at art ¨C the only problem was that everything he drew looked creepy too, although it was never discernable what he was drawing. Let''s say it was some sort of abstract creepiness art.

    There was one simple way to test if this Tobi was any good (or bad, should I say), so I sneaked into school one night and left a note inside his desk drawer, asking him to come to meet me on the rooftop the next day after school. I''ve used this trick once before, and it worked back then to identify him as the real thing.

    The next day, I was waiting on the rooftop, admiring the view of the red sky as the sun was going down. As expected, he came through the door and spotted me standing by the fence at the edge of the rooftop.

    "you¡­ you are the one that asked me to come here?", he asked shily. His personality varied from time to time, but there was always something invariable ¨C like his little shyness and being clumsy like a puppy, and this was exactly what I was going to use.

    "Yes. Come closer"

    He looked a bit taken back.

    "er, why?"

    "You know... I wanted to talk to you"

    "Why me?"

    "Come closer, I will tell you"You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    He hesitantly walked a few steps towards me and stopped

    "Why did you stop?"

    "I don''t know... what do you need from me?"

    "You know... I have been watching you for a while.." ¨C time to play girly.

    "er.. eh?"

    "It''s embarrassing to say it out loud, please come closer.."

    As stupid as he was, I think even he got the hint by now and walked a few steps closer to me, and stopped just about a meter away from me.

    "Is this.. close enough..?"

    "For now.. you know... do you have a girlfriend?"

    He was startled a bit, instantly followed by a blushing face. How cute.

    "No... No. I don''t"

    "What do you think about me?"

    "I... I don''t know you.."

    "Look up and look at me"

    He looked up at my face and our eyes met for a split second, and he was very quick to turn his gaze away

    "I think... I think you are very pretty"

    "Come closer"

    He was already just about a meter away from me, getting any closer would be, well, quite intimate, so he understandably hesitated, or more like, froze on the spot.

    I was losing patience a bit, so I extended my hand and pulled him closer to me by his sleeve, and he duly obliged. I pulled him so close that his face was maybe only twenty centimeters away from mine, and I could feel the heat from his blushing.

    "Look at me"

    "This is.. embarrassing"

    "I like you" ¨C It felt like I could hear his heart start beating faster

    "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

    "no.. no.."

    I closed my eyes, still holding his sleeves and keeping him close to me.

    "Kiss me"

    "I don''t know how.."

    "Just close your eyes if you are too embarrassed, and kiss me on my nose"

    "That... I think I can do... if it''s not on the lips I guess"

    I slightly opened my eyes and saw him squeezing his eyes so tightly shut. It was stupid but also kinda cute this way. He inched his face close to mine slowly, and just as his lips were just a few centimeters from my nose, I let go of his sleeve and grabbed his hand with mine. They felt warm.

    "Bwwaaaah!" he screamed in shock, startled ¨C it was probably the first time he''s ever had his hands held by a girl ¨C and with a sudden jerk of his head, he accidentally headbutted me on the nose ¨C ouch.

    Then I lost my balance and fell back towards the fence, which, erm, I knew had some screws loose, which meant that the fence gave away as I fell on it and I descended into a free fall towards the ground

    "Nooooooo!"

    I closed my eyes as the sound of his scream grew more distant, and I landed crashing my head onto the pebbly ground, probably cracking my head open. Ouch. This hurts.

    I then felt someone shaking me desperately by my shoulders, and my consciousness was coming back.

    "Please, oh god no, are you okay?"

    Ah ¨C this was Tobi. My Tobi. My one and only Tobi that I love and hate.

    I opened my eyes and saw him crying.

    "It''s okay Tobi. It''s okay"

    I embraced his head with my arms and gave a little kiss on the top of his head. This Tobi is probably the sweetest of them all.

 In the dark

    #32

    I was hiding behind a tree just next to the house gate of my next target girl. Rika indeed was pretty bad. The girl she picked was none other than her friend that I saw many times before, the one who always stood next to her and called me a jerk ¨C the one that first pushed me onto the ground after I kicked a ball onto Rika''s face, making me pass out. I don''t know what grudge Rika held against her despite hanging out with her all the time, but I didn''t like her either, and if Rika says she''s a bitch deserving to be killed, then I believe her.

    I was holding an aluminum baseball bat on my one hand while peeking out from behind a tree. I''ve already used the same knife to kill three people, and maybe I could throw the cops off a bit by doing things a bit differently this time. It was a dark cloudy night, luckily for me, but not for her. Today was the day of the week where this bitch normally studied until late in the cram school, and with Rika''s tip, I knew exactly when she would return home.

    I saw a silhouette of a girl walking towards the house of the girl ¨C this must be her. As she was getting closer I could hear her talking on the phone, I recognized her voice since I''m pretty good with these things.

    ".. and so I was like, so creeped out you know? That guy''s disgusting.."

    She''s bitching about someone over the phone ¨C this girl seems to be bitching about one man or other all the time. Gees, get laid or get fucked, in different ways.

    "anyways, I''m almost at home now ¨C I call you later after shower"

    Can''t she just shut up and go to sleep? Why does she need to be constantly talking? She''s probably gonna start bitching about something, or someone else later on the phone, but well, there won''t be later for her.

    As she was taking the house key out of her pocket I jumped out from behind the tree and viciously struck her head with the baseball bat.

    "Sike! Motherfucker!" ¨C heh, I always wanted to say this again.

    She fell instantly to the ground, but the bitch was strong-willed, which I did not expect. She grabbed my trousers around the ankle area and started to pull her body up. Shit, I was supposed to end this quickly and make a run, I can''t do that if she dies and I have to pry her dead fingers off my trousers. So I started to mindlessly beat down on her with the bat, again and again. She was screaming like a pig getting slaughtered, and that sent me more into panic, and I frantically sped up beating her head with the bat. If Rika saw this she probably thinks it''s funny, as the way I was beating her was like those double speed old black and white films, except that it was anything but silent. Then I heard someone running towards the gate of the house in desperation, with a cracking female voice screaming "Is it you Tika?! Are you okay?!" ¨C this must be her mom, and I didn''t want to hang around any longer. She was now laying flat on the ground facing up, blood flowing out from her obviously cracked skull.

    "you¡­" I think she recognized me for that moment, too bad bitch that the last face you see in your sorry life is mine ¨C then I whacked her nose down with the top of the bat in a planting motion. The gate was rattling now and I was running down the street, and just as I was turning the corner I heard a soul-crushing scream of a mother.

    The next day in the classroom, everyone was in viral shock and irresistible gossip about the news of yet another girl who was murdered last night. I overheard conversations of some boys theorizing whether this was the same serial killer from before or not, with one boy saying that it can''t be as serial killers tend to be obsessed with using the same method, while another boy chimed in to say maybe he did this to throw cops off the trail a bit.

    Then the teacher walked in to begin the homeroom

    "Everyone ¨C be quiet and return to your seat. Now"

    We all scuttled back into our seats and the class rep stood up to do the routine greeting, but the teacher waved her to sit down.

    "We will skip that for today"

    The class rep looked a little confused, then sat back down.

    "I''m sure you''ve all heard about another horrible incident last night, again, involving a student from our school"

    Everyone was silent.

    "The police officers have come to our school today, and as of this moment, they are standing guard by all the gates around the school"

    Oh? They think everyone needs protection now?

    "Listen very carefully. We have been told by the police officers that there is a very high chance that this dangerous criminal is in our school"

    What-? Some students were visibly unsettled and whispers and murmurs filled up the room

    "Quiet!" The teacher raised his voice as he slammed the attendance record book on the podium in front of the classroom.

    "They have good enough lead to be sure about this, and believe in the good nature of normal students ¨C this disgusting criminal is an exception like I have never seen among young people in my twenty years as a teacher"This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    All the students were listening attentively.

    "Now. Class rep, come out to the front"

    The class rep hurriedly jogged to the front and stood next to the teacher.

    "You will take this stack of paper and give one to every student"

    She hastily obliged. What''s all this about?

    "Now listen very carefully. This criminal, no matter how long you''ve known him, or how close you are to him, he is not someone you should hide, keep secrets for, or protect"

    He said¡­. Him? Well I guess it''s usual to suspect that it would be a man behind such brutal murders. I shan''t think anything much of this

    "That''s right. We know that it is a he ¨C this criminal is a boy in our school. Confirmed. I think there is a good chance that some of you may recognize this guy by the specific expression he used. We know it is a common slang, but he said it to a girl, which is quite odd, so we suspect this is a habitual expression this culprit uses"

    Uh oh

    "Now, I want you to write down the name of any boy, that you have ever heard saying, ''Sike, motherfucker''".

    Shit.

    #33

    "What the fuck were you thinking?!" ¨C Rika exploded on me, in a whisper.

    "Sorry, I have no idea how this happened"

    "Somebody must have fucking heard you!"

    "But I''m certain there was nobody around.."

    "Actually, I know"

    "¡­what?"

    "It''s Mila. She was on the phone with Tika. Mila''s the one who told the cops. She was on the phone with Tika and says she heard some male voice scream Sike Motherfucker, which I, and only I, for now, know for a fact that was you"

    "Shit"

    Rika was eye balling me hard.

    "Shit.. how did they know it''s someone from school?"

    "Did you get seen?"

    "I don''t think so. Her mother came rushing out but by then I already turned the corner and was out of the street"

    Rika seemed unsatisfied with the answer and looked at me up and down, and then she frowned.

    "Your trousers, your trousers, you silly boy"

    "huh?"

    "Look down on your left ankle"

    I looked down and noticed that it was slightly torn

    "Did she grab you?"

    Oh fack.

    "Yes"

    "Great. Now they have physical evidence. Take off your trousers"

    "Now..? here..?"

    "No dumbass, follow me"

    Rika then led me around to the usually not visited area at the end of the hallway on the ground floor, where I noticed for the first time there was a steel door with a number padlock on it. She looked around quickly and pressed a few buttons and took the lock out, and hurriedly rushed me into the room. It was very dark inside as she closed the door.

    "What is this place?"

    Rika took out her phone and turned on the flash.

    "It''s an old storage room that''s no longer used. Some bad shit happened here before a long time ago and the school doesn''t use it anymore"

    "How do you know? And how did you know the pin for the lock?"

    "Because I put that lock on. It was a long time ago. Too long time ago for any of the current staff to know why we have this room closed out. It''s just accepted over the years that this area is off-limits"

    "You sure know some weird shits"

    "sigh.. when you''ve been around as long as I have, you just know shits. Beside, I have been coming to this school for the past 117 years"

    "Jesus.. you are the first graduate from our school?"

    "I never graduated. You should know that. And of course, I was. I''ve been in this town for centuries before such an education system even existed for the common people. Now, just shut up and take off your trousers"

    "Er¡­ is this the right place and time..?"

    "What the hell are you thinking you pig?!" Rika gave a slap upside my head, so I duly obliged and took off my trousers. She took out a sewing kit from her skirt pocket and quickly went on to cut the end bit of the trousers as little as possible, folded it in, and started sewing it back.

    "Wow. You sure are skilled at this"

    "Because I have been going to home economics class for 117 years now dumb ass"

    "Right, I will shut up"

    "Ok, there, done. Put this back on. Nobody would notice anything, but if they really got onto you and examine it properly, they will be able to tell it was altered. So wear your spare school trousers from tomorrow on, and trash this one safely"

    "Gotcha"

    "And don''t say anything stupid like Sike Motherfucker ever again"

    "Sorry"

    A moment of silence

    "Do you think¡­ that could lead the cops to get on my tail?"

    "No. They will get on to a wrong guy"

    "Huh?"

    "The blonde dickhead. I wrote his name down"

    Oh.

    The same afternoon. The cops dragged the blond dickhead out of the school building and threw him inside the transport truck. They probably should have been more discreet about it, as, well, innocent until proven guilty ¨C that sort of stuff, but maybe they had no choice as the dude went on an absolute mental state screaming he was innocent again and again like a lunatic, which did make him look more suspicious and made it impossible for all the students to not notice who the police got on to.

    After that eventful day, I kept a low profile as Rika instructed, and there were no further instructions to kill anybody. Rika told me it was too risky to do anything further, and that she was quite certain about her theory that further killings may not be necessary now ¨C but she wouldn''t tell me what her theory was in the first place.

    In any case, the killings stopped, naturally, which probably piled more unwarranted suspicion on the poor sod. Sorry, I vomit on your head before, and now I shit down on your life.

 Innocent Blood

    #34

    This Tobi was the sweetest out of them all, and I was happy every day we spent together, almost making me nostalgic of the days I have spent with Kooto centuries ago, except that one ended horribly. It was the second time I saw real Tobi in this school, but the first one was no good. Our only real encounter was when he ran into the ladder I was on trying to put up some school banners, which made me fall hard onto the ground and crack my skull. He panicked, and then looked relieved when I came back around, apologized, and then we never spoke again. There were also some mis-hits, that I snidely lured into ''accidentally'' killing me, only to come back again the next spring. What a waste of time that was, although it''s not like I had a limited amount of time.

    This Tobi was a bit different. He was so obviously in love with me, and he was ready to admit it and express it, which I did not explicitly accept, but he was happy enough to accept my smile as a good enough answer and our time spent together every day in our school lives as a sign that we were hooked ¨C or more like, he didn''t seem to care whether we were officially a couple or not, he just stood by me like a loyal shepherd, never pressing for more, but never leaving me behind either.

    That''s why I had built up new hope for that year. I thought maybe, just maybe, in once in a six centuries chance, that this final ''happy ending'' of our relationship would end the bad cycle of doom and grudge.

    The summer passed filled with a lot of joy, with us spending most of our time together out in the sun and under the stars around the outskirts of the town. I still never managed to leave this town, but those days I felt like I never needed to if I could spend my days with him like that.

    As the autumn festival was drawing closer, I was growing nervous and excited at the same time. Would I survive past this full moon? Or would things go horribly wrong again and I have to repeat yet another year, with everyone having forgotten me and me needing to establish myself in school again as a transfer student, and the worst of all, probably with no Tobi around.

    That was the problem. Every year when I came back in spring, my previous classmates have moved up a year and lived on as if nothing happened. I even once gave a farewell graduation speech to my old classmates who no longer remembered who I was. But on the occasion where the real Tobi was in my school, I came back in spring, he was gone. He was not like me at all, because he was completely gone, physically, and was not remembered by anyone either. I never came up with a good theory for why that happened, but that''s how things worked.

    On the evening of the day autumn festival starts, I was nervously pacing around the fountain near the main festival street waiting for Tobi to turn up. He was late, which I did not like because he was always on time ¨C actually earlier than the promised time whenever we met up. Is something wrong? What is happening? Why tonight of all possible nights? This could be my last night, this could be the last time I see this Tobi, and this could, perhaps, be the night where everything could break away from the chain that slaved me to this way of ''life'' for so long.

    About an hour later than the agreed time, I saw a silhouette of a couple walking towards the fountain where I was. The man walked like how Tobi walks, clumsily swaying his body from side to side ¨C but who the fuck was the girl? My heart stopped cold when they got closer and I realized that she was holding onto Tobi''s arm, her body closely pressed against his, Who is this bitch.

    "Hey Rika, sorry I''m late", Tobi stopped in front of me, with the girl still clinging on to his arm.

    "What is this?" my voice was trembling and the girl seemed a little taken back by hostility in my voice that only another woman could sense.

    This, surely, must be some sort of misunderstanding. It''s so sudden and random ¨C but why tonight out of the possible timing.

    "You know, I probably should have told you earlier, so I''m sorry, but¡­"

    What the fuck?! I reflexively slapped Tobi on the cheek with a vicious swing of my hand.

    "Oh my god! What are you doing?!", the girl squealed.

    "Shut up you bitch!", I snarled back at her as I was reaching for the small but very sharp dagger I always kept with me tied around my thigh below my skirt ¨C this is just something I got into over the centuries.

    She looked completely in horror when I flashed out the knife, and Tobi jumped onto me shouting "Please stop!"This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    I was getting flashbacks ¨C all the expectations and worries had been draining me for the past two weeks, and to see Tobi, MY Tobi turn up with a girl on our special night drove me completely over the edge. I remembered back at the night when Tobi killed me, the anger, the rage, the disbelief, the pain, what he must have felt ¨C I hated him for not trusting me and making such judgment, after all the time we''ve spent he did not trust me when it mattered, but although it will never be forgiven in eternity, for a very brief moment I felt like I could understand how Tobi must have felt that night, albeit mistakenly.

    I brushed off Tobi''s launch onto my body and he fell heavily onto the stone laid out ground, and I turned the dagger around and smacked down on the bitch''s head with the bottom end of the grip. She let out a little yelp and flopped onto the ground.

    "Rika, please ¨C stop it, she is my precious.."

    Those words that were coming out of his mouth tipped me over completely even before he could finish the sentence. I''ve heard enough. I will kill this bitch first, then I will kill Tobi. This Tobi is no good after all, and it will be the first Tobi that I will kill, and I hope he never comes back.

    I flipped the dagger around again and gripped the handle hard with both of my hands, and drove it straight down to this bitch''s heart. It felt almost like a firework of blood ¨C oh how I would have loved to see the firework with Tobi on that night instead of what actually happened.

    "Noooooooooo!" Tobi screamed and ran over to the girl. She''s dead you little piece of shit. And you will be the next.

    "Gina, Gina¡­ wake up! Gina, oh god, no, please..". Tobi was hunched over to the girl and embraced her with one arm, while trying to stop the blood gushing out from the gaping hole in her chest.

    So you are not even looking at me now. As if I don''t exist. So this is how it was. I might have forgiven you if you came out clean with this earlier, but to do this tonight was unforgivable. I gripped my dagger tighter as I looked down on Tobi.

    "Rika.. why.. why did you.. I don''t understand.."

    I didn''t want to hear anymore. I slashed across the back of his neck as hard as I could, my blade making destructive sweep between his two vertebrates, cutting off all the spinal cord. Surprisingly, the blood did not shoot out as it did from the girl, but rather, it seem to just kinda drip out thickly.

    Tobi fell to the ground, his whole body writhing uncontrollably. It''s probably some fucked up reflex of his disgusting body. You, are just a fucking lump of meat after all.

    Tobi was spread on the ground on his back, his face looking up to mine with already half-vacant eyes, he looked like he was trying to say something, I was surprised he could move his mouth at all. I kneeled to listen to what this fucker had to say for the last time.

    "Rika.. why¡­ Gina¡­ my only living cousin¡­"

    Oh fuck.

    "Tobi! Tobi!"

    What the fuck did I do? Then it dawned on me ¨C he probably just wanted to introduce his cousin to me, who may have come to see him from out of town, maybe to check out the festival together with us. Maybe he was late because he had to wait for this girl to get ready, maybe he meant to tell me he should have told me earlier that his cousin was coming to town¡­ oh no.. what did I do¡­

    I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck trying to stop the bleeding, but I knew it was futile. I felt it before. I cut off his spinal cord. Bleeding was not an issue. There''s no way he can be saved.

    My tears were dropping on his face. I was rubbing my tear-soaked cheek against his that was still warm. Oh Tobi, no¡­ I made a mistake. I made a grievous mistake. Come back, please¡­ come back..

    "Come back!!!!!!!" I wailed into his face in despair, and against all logic and the laws of nature, his eyes flashed open and his eyes focused on mine.

    "how..Tobi.. are you okay?"

    "huh..? what happened.. are YOU okay? Why are you crying?"

    "Oh god.. thanks god you came back.. I''m sorry, I''m so sorry.."

    "You smell salty ¨C must be your tears"

    Then suddenly there was a loud bang sound and a pebble next to where I was kneeling over Tobi jumped up.

    "Drop your weapon and stand up slowly! Now!"

    Shit.

    I looked back and there were a bunch of police officers. To them, I must have looked like a murderess. Well, I was. I have no idea how Tobi came back, but I did kill this one girl, and she was never gonna come back. I stood up slowly, but keeping my eyes on Tobi, not facing the officers.

    "Rika.. what''s going on..?" Tobi started to sit up slowly, holding the back of his neck as if it hurt, but there was no more blood, in fact, there was no sign at all that it was cut open just a minute ago.

    I''m glad you are okay Tobi. But I did something terrible. I killed a girl in the heat of inexplicably foolish misunderstanding ¨C maybe I''m worse than you were back then. At least something actually happened, and you killed the bastard and me. It was not fair, but I could understand how you could misunderstand. But I killed a girl who was never in the mix. This was never supposed to happen in my cycles.

    "Drop your weapon! Now"

    I cant.. I can''t be caught and put into jail. Just like every year, things will reset again when the spring comes ¨C I have to force the reset.

    "Good bye Tobi. Thanks for the memories.. and I will find you again"

    I then swung around and dashed towards the town constable that was holding the gun up towards me, he was the closest one to where I was ¨C come on. Do it.

    I lunged myself towards his direction with my dagger pointed at him, I saw a flash of fear in his eyes, heard the loud sound of bang, followed by Tobi screaming my name, and I blacked out.

 The final job

    #35

    "Hey, I need another favour from you"

    "Uh oh. I don''t like the sound of this"

    "It''s already approaching late summer. You know my time is running out"

    "What''s all this about? Can you at least tell me now?"

    "No. Not yet. Me telling you now could affect the results."

    "You sound like some mad scientist"

    "Except it''s not for the science, but my life, and maybe yours too"

    "Well, I guess I''ll just have to wait and see. So what gives?"

    "Here is the list"

    She then pushed over a list of names printed out on a small card, with photographs of faces next to each name, as if it were a graduation album.

    "Holy fuck. This is like. A fucking list. You want me to do all of them?"

    "Yes. All of them. In as short a period of time as possible. Definitely before the start of Autumn Festival in any case, by whatever means"

    "I''m not sure about this.. this is crazy. It''s not only risky but maybe even physically impossible to do all this without getting caught"

    "This will be my last wish"

    "Hey don''t say that like you are dying or something"

    "I may as well be dead for you, although I probably come back next year, but¡­ you may not be around"

    "What do you mean?"

    "You will find out. Actually, I hope I''m wrong. We will see"

    "Whatever you say m''aam. It''s not like this whole thing ever made any sense"

    "And by the way, Tobi.."

    "What?"

    "This may be the last time I see you"

    "What? Why? Where are you going?"

    "I''ll go hide. Wait it out"

    "Where?"

    "I can''t tell you. If you knew, someone might get the information out of you and come find me"

    "Man, I will never turn you in, and it''s not like you''ve ever done anything yourself"

    "You may end up doing so against your will. And after all, I have given you orders to kill. That is a crime in itself"

    "Gees. Ok. So what then? Let''s say I get all these girls. What then?"

    "You just hold on to your life. And please don''t die. Under any circumstances, please don''t die. And maybe, just maybe we have a chance to meet again come next spring"

    "And what if I die?"

    "Don''t be stupid. If you die we can never meet again"

    "oh, I guess I''m not special enough to re-incarnate"

    "I told you re-incarnation is a wrong concept. And you are not like me in any way. You are a chance-based abnormally"

    "Whatever that means. Well anyway, what if I fail to kill all of them before the autumn festival?"

    "I don''t know. So don''t fail"

    "Ok"

    "Promise?"

    "I promise"

    #36

    "How.. how the fuck do you know all this?"

    The man, whose voice I was familiar with by now, laughed maniacally, his laughter echoing in the room which now sounded like it was walled with stones, and a hint of metallic reflection ¨C probably the door.

    "It''s funny how shits go around in circles, isn''t it?"

    "What¡­ are you?"

    "As I said, I''m the father of the sweet little girl you have killed. She was a kind soul, out to take care of lost animals, and you snuffed out her life, with no reason, with NO FUCKING REASON AT ALL!"The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    "FUCK OK! I''M SORRY! I''M FUCKING SORRY!"

    "That won''t cut it. Ooh, I love the pun. Cut it. Get it?", another manic fit of laughter

    "What do you want me to do? Please, just tell me what you want me to do!"

    "Like I said, there is nothing you can do for me you worthless lump of meat. You got nothing that can be of any use to me, or to my girl"

    "But your girl''s dead. I''m sorry, but there''s nothing that can be done. People die when they are killed!"

    "Not everyone though. I figured out that much"

    "What? How?"

    "The grudge. The desperation. The unopened passage of sweet future that should have come. The life that was cruelly and wrongly snuffed. There is no god or justice in the world. But things can happen with the sheer force of will that a piece of meat like you will never understand"

    "You are talking non-sense. And why are you keep calling me ''meat''?"

    "Because you have no soul. You have no soul Tobi"

    "What the fuck?"

    "I bet Rika didn''t tell you. You are nothing. You have no meaning. You are just a lump of cells that grew out of sperm, to disgustingly crawl on the earth till you are no longer needed, and rot away into nothingness"

    "Fuck you. That''s basically what every human being is"

    "No. Humans have soul. Sure, they disappear after they die ¨C it''s extremely rare they linger on, but while they are alive, humans very much have souls"

    "Just what the fuck are you?"

    "I''m someone who has been grieving for a hundred years. Someone who has been wronged by you and Rika''s fucked up chain of doom. Someone who took years and countless trials and errors over many lives. Someone who figured out the way to bring this to a happy end ¨C and to get his daughter back, who should never have died"

    "You are bat shit crazy. You do talk like you know something but it''s impossible"

    "You will see. Oh you will see"

    Then I heard the man walk out of the room and close the door.

    #37

    I ran through the list Rika gave me over and over. They were all from our school, some in my year, some seniors. I couldn''t find any connections between them at all, not in any visual or contextual way, not even in some kind of cryptic wordplay ways with their names. But Rika wanted them dead, and that was the only chance I would have in seeing her again for real. Otherwise, she may disappear ¨C and I may disappear, the only thing that keeps our time together grounded now are these memories I have propped up in my room. Everything we did together, everywhere we''ve been to, everything we talked about, it''s all here, right in front of me ¨C Rika is real. I am real. Nobody can tell me this is just a wild dream.

    This was going to be a complex task. I knew it would be extremely difficult to kill them all spread out over a longer period of time. The more I kill, the higher the chance it will be that the cops will find me. For now, that poor blonde sod is held in captivity as the prime suspect, although it is reported that he is still pleading not guilty and lack of physical evidence are making the persecution difficult. So I have to strike while he''s still the suspect, and as long as the killings are not happening things can stay in this limbo. As soon as one more girl is killed the police will sniff that there is someone else that''s loose on the street. I stared onto pictures of beautiful Rika, back at the list, and stared at her again, and back at the list again. Rika. I miss you, but I think I just found a way to do this for you. And I hope you are right. We will meet again. And all this will make sense in the end.

    Summer has passed uneventfully, and I was seriously in need of refilling my Rika charge. But other than that. It was actually boring as hell. I already knew what I was going to do. It was simple, and risk-free. This may not exactly be what Rika wanted, but at best I would walk away free and just wait for her to come back next spring, and at worst I am at least guaranteed to be alive after the upcoming shenanigans, at least until next Spring.

    On the first day of the semester after the summer break, I set myself up in the broadcast room of the school. The student that was on duty for the morning announcement has passed out, slumped over the desk with a big lump on the back of his head. I smacked him hard enough to knock him out, but he will live.

    I cleared my throat and started the broadcast, reading out the script this poor dude had prepared before. It''s not like anybody''s really going to think or care about why the broadcast voice sounds different today.

    After all the scripted announcement was made, I added my final words

    "The following students are asked to come and report in the science room after this announcement immediately. I repeat. The following students are asked to come and report in the science room after the announcement immediately" ¨C then I read out the names. It was just as simple as that.

    It certainly was weird that random students were called to come to the science room on the first morning of the semester, but ultimately I knew nobody would care. Teachers had their own jobs to do, they didn''t know what other teachers needed, students just did what they were told to do, and if they were not the ones asked to do something they will just let it pass as it doesn''t matter to them.

    I quickly rushed myself to the science room and waited inside, sitting at the teacher''s desk. Soon enough, the girls that got called to come came in one by one. As each of them walked in, I just told them every time that the teacher asked me to keep watch over the room so that no one messes with any equipment and materials until he comes back. The first one just shrugged and took a seat, and the next one just took the explanation as it is, since the first one was sitting around looking alright.

    When all six girls came into the room, I stood up and said,

    "Sorry, the teacher should have come by now. I''ll just pop out and have a quick look outside"

    Then I walked out and locked the door with a new lock that I had swapped in the night before. I pressed the button just outside the door that operated the blind to come down on the room''s windows, which were installed as some experiments that are part of regular course required dark room. I heard some unsettling noise coming from the room, so I hurried to the next step before they would start getting suspicious and rush to the door. I opened one of the windows on the corridor just outside the science room and took out a roman candle that I had taped just under the window sill. Hugh. This was it. I better get this shot right. I then opened the small window on the corridor side of the science room. A girl caught a glimpse of me and pointed at me, saying something to the other girls in the room. I then pointed the roman candle towards the ceiling light, lit it up, and off it went, a series of direct hits on the ceiling light. As girls started to scream, I pressed the emergency button for the science room, which let down a shutter to seal the windows and the door on the corridor side. This was installed some years ago apparently after a small accident where there was a poisonous gas leak from an experiment class that went wrong.

    What ensued was total chaos and wailing terror of a pig slaughterhouse. They were probably no better than pigs anyway. I had to trust Rika''s judgment. On the previous night, I had placed a bunch of containers filled with ethanol inside the light cover, and they were much easier to catch fire than petrol. Just to be extra sure, I had also switched all the content in the large number of containers that were kept in the science room, with ethanol.

    Once I was certain that things were catching fire, I pressed the fire alarm and ran downstairs to mix in with the crowd. Unfortunately for the girls inside, the sprinklers would not work in that room.

    Just an hour later, the whole school was shell-shocked, and students cried as the bodies covered in white sheets were taken out on stretchers to the ambulance. I counted that all six of them were dead. It was a mission success. Now, all I need to do is to recharge myself with my daily dose of Rika tonight in our little world and rinse and repeat until the promised time came in the spring.

    Or that''s what I naively hoped.

 Till death do us part

    #38

    How long has it been? I don''t know. I couldn''t keep track of time in this total darkness, completely isolated from outside, with no sound coming in, which probably meant no sound was going out either ¨C nobody would hear me even if I could scream, but the jaw strap I had meant I couldn''t do that anyway, and the most sound I could make was a muffled wimping of a helpless dog.

    In any case, it has surely been a few months at least. I wonder if spring was near. I knew it was about the time, but I couldn''t tell how long was left until then. Did the time pass faster than I realized? Or did it pass slower than I thought?

    I was kept alive on drips and an oxygen mask. The minimum needed to survive in this room for months. In an ironic way, I stayed alive as requested by Rika, but this was not how it was planned at all. My plan was that either I do not get caught, or I do get caught by the police and stay in jail, with the trial certain to drag on well past the spring. I don''t know if that was an acceptable condition or not, but hey, Rika was like a superhuman. I thought if I could keep my bargain of staying alive and not getting killed by any vengeful men related to all these girls I''ve killed, Rika will figure out a way to make things work.

    But life and destiny didn''t seem to take such a clear cut simple course. And here I was, tied down to a bed for months, barely kept alive just to act as a ''bait'' for Rika, by some mad man who somehow seemed to know more about the workings of Rika and me than I could figure out how he knew.

    Then it happened one day. Out of fucking blue, or more correctly, out of fucking black as it was. I heard the metal door open as it did every now and then. It became less and less frequent that the man came into the room lately, after all, there wasn''t much more for us to talk about. I can''t exactly say that I welcomed the return of this man, as it probably meant some more irrational rambling and torture, but it did bring in the breath of fresh air into the room, literally.

    What was different this time though, was the sound of footsteps. I knew the rhythm in which this man walked, the specific weight that forced itself onto the ground with each step, this all meant that after a long time, you can recognize the sound of someone''s footsteps.

    These footsteps felt much lighter and more¡­ careful?

    Then I saw a light flash ¨C fuck. How long has it been since I last saw any light? The light searched around, probably a flashlight, but although it was the first time I should have been able to get any visual image of the room, the way my eyes was not accustomed to even the faintest source of light for the past months meant that it felt blindingly bright, to the point that I had to squeeze my eyes shut.

    "What. The. Fuck.?"

    Rika! This was the voice of Rika!

    I opened my eyes, and at the same time, the whole room was flooded with light and I heard something cutting through the thick air, and landing on something that sound like it hurt.

    "Siiiiiiiike, motherfucker!!!"

    OH FACK. What is this?

    Then I heard a few more thumping sounds. Fuck. This fucker''s beating Rika. I gotta stop him, but how?

    After a few more unstoppable beatings, I could hear the man breathing heavily.

    "Get up, you bitch"

    I heard his voice. My eyes adjusted by this time, but since my head was fixed in a position I could only look at the ceiling, and a bright round white light that was installed on it ¨C this was extremely bright ¨C maybe halogen?

    Then I heard Rika starting to¡­ giggle?

    "Tehehe¡­ so.. Tobi''s alive. You kept him alive? I guess I''ll have to thank you for that"

    Whack. The man must have hit Rika again.

    "No more monkey business. This is the end. You will give up your useless ''life'' to someone who actually deserved it"

    "So it was you.. I was wondering what happened with the police, the disappearance of Tobi, the prime suspect of the mass killing.. MY FUCKING TOBI"

    "It doesn''t matter now, does it? You and I are both in this cycle"

    "Don''t put me in the same bracket as you. You amateur."

    "Well yes, fuck me, and you are a pro bitch" ¨C whack.

    "How far back do you remember?"

    "Until the moment you killed my daughter"

    "The first time? The second time? The third time? You don''t know do you?", and Rika burst into an evil laughter. What the fuck is going on?Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" ¨C a furious flurry of countless whacks.

    When the madness stopped for a moment, I could hear both the man and Rika breathing heavily. Shit. It doesn''t sound like Rika''s alright ¨C fuck, how could anyone take a beating like that.

    "That''s why you are a¡­ what''s the word they use these days..? Oh yes, you are a fucking NOOB"

    "Don''t mess with me!"

    "I have been around before you''ve ever had your daughter old man. And you were late. So fucking late. Not that it mattered. But you were just late. You incompetent piece of shit. I''ve never seen you save anyone. And you failed your own daughter too"

    "FUCK YOU!!" ¨C but I did not hear the whack anymore. The man''s voice was still fully in rage, but I could sense now there was a very slight hint of doubt and uncertainty.

    "What do you think you are going to achieve now? You got it all wrong, again, you got it all wrong. And you even kept Tobi alive for me, just as I wished. Haha! How fucking cute!"

    "You¡­ you can''t phase me anymore. We''ve gone through this many times, but this time it''s gonna be different. You shall die in the spring before you bloom again"

    "And how''s that going to bring your daughter back? Like puff! Magic!?"

    Rika was still breathing heavily but I could feel that some strength was coming back into her voice. I have no fucking clue what they were talking about, but if this was some mind games I think she''s starting to gain the upper hand.

    "Well. We will find out. And if it fails this time, I will try again next year. But I think it will work this time ¨C we have that piece of shit over there now"

    "Give it up old man. All your plot has been futile"

    "Is that so? Then I guess I could just walk over and put an end to that fucking lump of meat? What do you think then will happen?"

    Rika was silent.

    "I bet, actually, I''m hundred percent certain that you can''t bring him back to life. It will be over, for good. He will rot away like a discarded piece of meat. And it will be the end for you"

    "You believe that?"

    "Yes. You needed him to stay alive, and you at the same time. That was the chance you took. The only possible scenario that both of you may get over the autumn without dying again and a reset"

    What the fuck man¡­

    "Sigh.. you are onto something there"

    "But why¡­ why did you kill her? Why have you done this again..? And this time not even by your own hands"

    "Old man, I''ve never got to tell you this before, but I am actually sorry about the first time"

    "SHUT THE FUCK UP! It sickens me you are even pretending to be sorry!"

    "That''s a shame. Because I''ve always wanted to say this ¨C but I guess you would have never accepted it anyway"

    "You evil cunt"

    "I will say this again. One last time. I''m sorry about your girl Gina"

    "Don''t you dare to speak her name again with your filthy mouth!"

    "Give it up constable! This cycle. Is. Over. Now."

    Then I heard some mad flurry of sound cutting through the air, a blunt object versus something sharp. There wasn''t anything I could do to help, but I had to trust Rika''s skills with her knife. She would have had more time with it than any swordsman there has ever been.

    After what felt like a full minute of intense ballet with permanent death at stake, I heard a squishy sound.

    "That does it. Rest in peace, although both of us know full well there is no such thing as an afterlife" ¨C yes, this must have been Rika''s victory.

    "Fuck you.. this isn''t over.. I will be back¡­ and put an end to you¡­ and my baby will come back.. never to be taken away from me again¡­"

    "You poor bastard. Why do you think it took you so long to have the last one again?"

    "What the fuck do you mean?"

    "Because I have preemptively killed them you idiot"

    "What the fuck?!"

    "I hoped that would stop you from coming after me again. But every time it meant yet another grudge, karma as some idiots say, and yes, karma is a bitch"

    "I don''t under.."

    "You don''t need to. Just disappear forever knowing that now all the possible future generations of your daughters are killed"

    "Fuck y-"

    His words were cut short by another set of slashing and stabbing sounds. Whatever you did, or said, sounded fucking horrible. But I''m glad you won.

    Then I heard Rika approach me slowly, she was stumbling by the sound of it.

    I saw her blood-covered face come closer to mine, just inches away from my face. The halogen light above her was so bright that I couldn''t see her face in the shade formed. It almost felt like there was a sun shining down from directly above her head.

    "Tobi. I''m back"

    I felt a few drops of her tears on my cheeks.

    She un-did my jaw strap, lowered her face and kissed me on the lips for a long time.

    As she broke off and lifted her face again, I gasped for air

    "Salty"

    Then we both struggled in pain as we couldn''t help but laugh.

    Rika undid all the restraints on my body and helped me up, putting her arms underneath my armpits and putting my arm around her back of the neck and the shoulders.

    I looked around this dreadful room that I hoped I would never see again. I saw some carved marks on the wall as if somebody has been trying to record the count of something. There were many many lines. I also noticed there was what seemed to be a little altar set up for something, like something people have in their houses for praying to their ancestors.

    On the way out, I stumbled onto something and looked down, it looked like a small piece of bone. Maybe too small to be a human bone. Some animal maybe? Rika looked down, picked up the bone, smiled, and threw it away.

    We finally made our way out of the room, through the metal door, and as we walked out more, I realized we were actually in our school as the view of a school corridor opened up before my eyes.

    "Rika.. what is this¡­?"

    "Shhh¡­ let a girl keep at least a secret or two will you?"

    I didn''t know what to say, so I just nodded in agreement.

    "Tobi. This is my first second year of high school. I''m so excited"

    Rika giggled. And that was good enough for me.

    You are welcome Rika.

    -the End-