《PINAN: Refuge》 1 - Coming Home long for the beauty of natural sunlight, for the warmth of open air, for- something from falling out. 3 - Residual Dusk Japan- for someone who would have had to stop attending his village school the next year, he knew he wasn¡¯t the kind of person who came across an opportunity like that with ease. In anticipation, Haeok had packed a bundle of clothes and socks- And! Today was the first day he¡¯d seen the ocean, and it was just so vast. Maybe he was dumb, but- Haeok just hadn¡¯t realized just how far it spread until he¡¯d seen it from Busan port, how endless¡­ How big the world must be. Nagasaki, the man next to him had told them, tall enough to read the kanji of a passing sign). From there, another boat. In. Out. Mouth open, gasping like a fish out of water, he struggled to breathe. Drip. Drip. Salt like nails against his back, cold sting sharp as acid, an itch he couldn¡¯t scratch. It collapsed, it¡¯s collapsing, I¡¯m trapped, going to die, I¡¯m- feel. The raw stone that encased him convulsed, threw him against the narrow walls like dried rice in a box. The roughness of it scraped him raw, Haeok was sure he bled- Iron, Salt. A drop against his back. I¡¯m dying, I¡¯m- ba jige, to hold the cage of chickens. They squawk loudly at the betrayal as Jungok lifts their carrier onto his back. sokuri basket atop her head as she walks, filled with the persimmons from their yard. 3 - Residual Dusk Japan- for someone who would have had to stop attending his village school the next year, he knew he wasn¡¯t the kind of person who came across an opportunity like that with ease. In anticipation, Haeok had packed a bundle of clothes and socks- And! Today was the first day he¡¯d seen the ocean, and it was just so vast. Maybe he was dumb, but- Haeok just hadn¡¯t realized just how far it spread until he¡¯d seen it from Busan port, how endless¡­ How big the world must be. Nagasaki, the man next to him had told them, tall enough to read the kanji of a passing sign). From there, another boat. In. Out. Mouth open, gasping like a fish out of water, he struggled to breathe. Drip. Drip. Salt like nails against his back, cold sting sharp as acid, an itch he couldn¡¯t scratch. It collapsed, it¡¯s collapsing, I¡¯m trapped, going to die, I¡¯m- feel. The raw stone that encased him convulsed, threw him against the narrow walls like dried rice in a box. The roughness of it scraped him raw, Haeok was sure he bled- Iron, Salt. A drop against his back. I¡¯m dying, I¡¯m- ba jige, to hold the cage of chickens. They squawk loudly at the betrayal as Jungok lifts their carrier onto his back. sokuri basket atop her head as she walks, filled with the persimmons from their yard. 4 - Misted Figures changed, if you were here you would understand-¡± Hastily, she cuts herself off. should have been with them, but that¡¯s beside the point. ¡°I¡¯ll ask her, yeah?¡± 5 - Deserted Spirit salg, are you kidding me?¡± Haeok¡¯s voice, tight with anger. ¡°Only one night, and a fucking leopard cat got to it.¡± salg cat got to it this morning.¡± haeng ju jwa wa- vivid mindfulness, as it¡¯s called, in every action. yeosil jigyeon, a state of detached concentration, giving insight in accordance with reality; to know and see the reality as does the buddha, without discrimination. ba jige sits next to the door, already packed. Haeng ju jwa wa. 6 - Grasping Wind Suok feels herself sliding out of sleep, and it¡¯s very annoying. She reaches for that comfortable, drowsy state, and chases it. Eyes closed and senses fuzzy, she nestles into the corner pressed against her head. But- she¡¯s being shaken, and it¡¯s very annoying. ¡°¡­What?¡± She mumbles, tucking her head further into that corner. Her neck hurts and the corner isn¡¯t very comfortable, but opening her eyes and moving to find somewhere else is definitely not worth it. ¡°Kkoma, wake up.¡± The gentle whisper stirs her consciousness. It¡¯s Jungok. Of course it is. Suok is shaken again. ¡°Kkoma, everyone¡¯s leaving. We need to get off the train.¡± Louder, this time. Grunting, Suok lets her sister pull her up, and lead her onto the aisle and to the door. She totters down the ramp, gripping her sister as they walk onto the platform. Her siblings whisper something, seem to come to a decision as they merge with the crowd. Eyes half-lidded, Suok struggles to track Haeok¡¯s figure against the darkness of the night sky, Jungok pulling her along. Suok shivers as the wind nips at her skin, chilled by the autumn night. Kyongsong doesn¡¯t feel very different from home. Stumbling over the pavement, the noise around her rises as a gush of warm air hits her face- blearily, her eyes squint against the light to see they¡¯ve entered the station, domed room even wider than Daegu¡¯s and the conversation of a hundred voices humming around her. Haeok¡¯s sharp gaze surveys the room, before landing upon a section of the wall close to a side door- between the seating and a wide pillar, Suok doubts they¡¯ll be bothered as he leads them over to sit. She makes for the wall, leaning against it as she sits on the floor. She sighs, missing their warm gudeul floor as the cold tile chills her skin. Leaning her head against the wall, she looks up. Across from her, Jungok rifles through a wicker bag, producing two small onggi Opening the onggi to reveal cracked barley and kimchi, Jungok hands them chopsticks and a persimmon each. ¡°I cooked it before we left,¡± she explains. Haeok nods, sending a small smile to Jungok before biting into his persimmon. Suok bites into the fruit appreciatively, and the meal continues in silence as they quickly eat. She watches the way that Jungok covers the Kimchi when they finish it, careful not to draw any attention- the way that Haeok stands up to lean against the pillar as he finishes, eyes never leaving the crowd around them; Suok finishes as fast as she can. Her tongue is dry with thirst, but she stays quiet. Finishing, Jungok returns the onggi to the bag, tucking it away carefully before standing and dusting off her skirt. ¡°I think the tickets are over there,¡± Haeok says, pointing a good distance away to a booth fixed in the middle of the hall. A small line of people lead to one of the booth¡¯s windows, with a timetable propped next to it. Nodding, Jungok follows him as he gestures for them to walk towards it, Suok trailing after them both. Standing at the end of the line, she moves to the front of the three. The line moves fairly quickly- unlike at Daegu station, the transaction is efficient and straight to the point when Suok finds their turn next. A nudge from behind her pushes her forward, and she goes to stand before the counter. ¡°Hello, where are you going?¡± The man behind the counter intones. ¡°Pyongyang, please.¡± ¡°How many of you are there?¡± ¡°Three.¡± ¡°Which carriage?¡± ¡°Third.¡± Practiced hands find the roll of tickets, snapping off three with quick efficiency. ¡°Here you are.¡± The tickets are slid under the window. Suok gives a rushed thank you as she¡¯s jostled out of the line, the man behind the counter already helping the next group of travelers. Frowning, she looks down at the tickets in her hands as they stand by the timetable. ¡°Kyongui line, he said, in half an hour. Where¡¯s that?¡± She wonders, looking up to her siblings. Jungok stares back at her, expression doubtful as she shrugs. ¡°Dunno,¡± her sister voices, turning to where their brother faces the crowd. He sighs into his response, eyes scanning the hall for signage. A small frown crosses Jungok¡¯s expression, almond eyes meeting Suok¡¯s. Passively, Suok nods. A quick look back at the ticket line tells her waiting there again in the hopes of getting clearer directions isn¡¯t worth it. Instead, she leans onto the tips of her toes, trying to peer over Haeok¡¯s shoulder to look over the crowd. Predictably, she can¡¯t find anything- as her siblings can¡¯t at their height, she¡¯s completely unable to. But- eyes squinting, she shifts her vision down to the movement of the crowd- and quick movements, someone floating skillfully between the clustered groups of people, catch her eye. He looks around her own age, Suok thinks. With plain clothes, a broad face and ears that stick out just enough to be obvious, the boy goes largely unnoticed as he slips alone through the crowd. Compared to the single-minded rush of people carried through the station as though pushed by a current, the boy weaves through the waters with ease. Someone like that, who moves with such confidence- surely he knows where to go. So, Suok waves. ¡°Sumimasen!¡± She calls, frowning a little as it goes unnoticed and he continues to walk. She moves to follow him, making her way into the center of the hall to follow his retreating form. ¡°Hey- Suok-ah!¡± Jungok¡¯s calls fade as Suok hurries ahead. ¡°Asking for directions!¡± She returns, turning over her shoulder before continuing to follow the boy. She runs slightly to catch up, hastening as he moves to round a corner. Now just a few footsteps behind, she tries again. ¡°Sumimasen!¡± Startling, the boy turns, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. His cheeks are brushed with dirt, Suok notices. ¡°Sorry,¡± she starts again. He closes his mouth, before opening it again. ¡°Uh,¡± he stutters, before shaking his head. ¡°Sorry!¡± Suok apologizes before he can walk away, in clear Korean. ¡°Sorry, I just meant to ask if you knew how to get to platform for the Kyongui line.¡± "Oh- oh?" He blinks, open-mouthed, before closing it again as if on realization. His thoughts are so apparent on his face, Suok thinks, bemused. "Yeah, I- I know where it is. I could¡­" his tone is hesitant, trailing off as his gaze meets the floor. "Really?¡± Suok confirms, a relieved smile crossing her face when he nods. It¡¯s then that her siblings finally catch up to her, the bulky ba jige on Haeok¡¯s back prominent as they break through the crowd. "Suok-ah!" Jungok admonishes, walking to meet her. "He says he can take us to the platform, ah-" She looks back to the boy, questioning. Startled, looks up "Ah, you can call me noona if you want.¡± She smiles, and gestures to the two who just arrived, ¡°Oh, uh- nice to meet you,¡± he stutters, leaning into a bow. ¡°Sure. That¡¯s really kind of you,¡± Jungok says, to which Injae shakes his head. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s okay,¡± he mumbles in response, averting eye contact. Following his lead, they walk through the station with ease, avoiding the commonly walked paths. Suok wonders if some of the hallways they pass are meant to be used by travelers at all, but she keeps this thought unvoiced as she follows Injae¡¯s sure steps. It¡¯s been just a few minutes of walking when, after pushing open a side door, She finds herself standing on a largely empty platform, a great steel train motionless before her. A moment later, and her siblings are pushing through the door to stand beside her. In front of her, Injae turns to face them, gaze skirting between the three. ¡°Well- this one¡¯s the Kyongui,¡± he says, hesitating slightly. ¡°Thank you so much,¡± Suok smiles, nodding to Injae. His head shakes quickly as she finishes. ¡°Let¡¯s get on it before we do miss it, then,¡± Haeok interjects, nodding to where the train stands, and stepping forward towards it. ¡°Thank you, Injae-yah!¡± Jungok affirms, tone bright as she follows Haeok to the train. The pinkness of his ears are visible even as he exits back through the door. Suok waves to him as it closes- through the door¡¯s darkened glass, she thinks he waves back. The train is half-empty as they board it, despite having only a few minutes until its departure. The seats are again in rows of three, with two rows facing another and sharing a window. Suok walks past a man reading the newspaper in his seat as she slides into a row by the door, sitting next to the window. Jungok comes to sit beside her, Haeok sitting at the window seat across from them. Waiting for the train to move, Suok sits nestled against the familiar warmth of her sister, gazing out of the onto the platform. However- her head tilts in curiosity as she spies a familiar figure with big ears slipping onto the platform. Pressing her hands on the cold window-pane, she peers out to confirm- Injae? Not a moment later, soft steps sound behind her as someone walks onto the train. Across from her, Haeok¡¯s eyes are widened, incredulous- Suok turns to look over the back of her seat towards the door. It is Injae who stands behind her seat, posture hunched inwards with the expression of someone anticipating a scolding- a dog with his tail between his legs. ¡°Hi,¡± he mumbles, eyes darting across the ground between him and where the siblings sit. ¡°Hey,¡± Jungok says, smiling. ¡°Uh- yes,¡± he stutters, nodding vigorously. His eyes flit up to meet Suok¡¯s, before darting back to the floor. ¡°Well, you should ride with us,¡± Suok adds, Jungok nodding in agreement beside her. Across them, Haeok¡¯s eyes are narrowed as they watch the boy suspiciously- though even he doesn¡¯t question Injae¡¯s sudden reappearance. Jungok¡¯s eyes are teasing when she continues. Timidly, Injae moves forward. The tips of his ears are tinged a light pink as he sits next to Haeok, who grunts as he moves to leave the middle seat empty between them. ¡°Hi,¡± the boy mumbles, glancing over to Haeok before quickly looking away. The older¡¯s only response is a noncommittal grunt, arms crossed over his chest as he leans back against the seat, eyes closed. Across from them, Jungok scoffs. ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± She assures Injae¡¯s bewildered expression. Legs held against her chest, Suok sits comfortably curled between her sister and the window as the train shudders beneath them, beginning to clack against the rails as it slowly moves forward. 7 - Biting Darkness The rumbling of the train jostles Suok up and down where she sits as the train pulls into Pyongyang station. ¡°We¡¯re not stopping at Pyongyang,¡± Jungok explains over the rattling of the tracks below. ¡°Oh, huh. Uh- me too,¡± Injae stutters, gaze flitting between the other three. ¡°Really?¡± Jungok¡¯s eyebrows are raised, with an unconvinced tone Suok knows well. ¡°Sure. Luck.¡± Haeok¡¯s tone is flat, small lips pressed into a thin line. Jungok shoots him a glare, pushing back the stray hairs from her forehead. ¡°Yes, luck.¡± She sighs. When the train screeches to a halt, the four trail the meager group of passengers out of the train. Suok flinches as the cold air hits her, shivering beneath her thin work clothes as she follows Haeok into Pyongyang station. The northern cold really was no joke. Sighing at the relative warmth of the station, she wraps Jungok¡¯s arm around herself as her sister follows Haeok to a group of black metal benches close to the exit, Injae trailing at the rear. Suok moves to sit down, frowning when Jungok resists her pull. ¡°Unnie,¡± Suok whines, looking up with a pout as her sister tries to shake off the grip on her arm. ¡°I have to go outside to cook, Suok-ah,¡± She says, peeling the younger off. Suok can hear the smile in her voice. ¡°Fine,¡± She relents, plopping down next to Haeok on the bench. He¡¯s already unstrapped the ba jige, and it leans against the bench on his other side. ¡°I think that¡¯s a drinking fountain in the corner, though-¡± Jungok points to the far wall, where a white marble bowl stands. Suok doesn¡¯t need any more encouragement to leave their small group, walking through the waiting lounge past several more rows of benches to reach the fountain. She¡¯s been thirsty since they had arrived in Kyongsong, and now one station later she hastily bends to drink the water, uncaring when some trickles down her chin. She hears footsteps behind her, and after splashing some water onto her face she turns to find Injae standing there, gaze skirting across the tiled floor. ¡°Sorry,¡± Suok says, sleeve wiping her chin dry. Shaking his head quickly, Injae¡¯s eyes meet the floor again as he steps towards the fountain. Standing to the side of the fountain, Suok looks around the high-ceilinged room as the trickles of the fountain resumes. Busier than Daegu, though not as hectic as Kyongsong, passengers sit on the clusters of black benches. They¡¯re probably laborers, she thinks, taking in the worn clothing of the man closest to them from where he sits alone on a bench. Further down the hall, where the seating is padded, she spots some men in more expensive attire. The sound of water stops as Injae stands up, stopping in place when he notices Suok¡¯s gaze. ¡°You should wash your face too,¡± She says, eyeing the dust smudged against his cheeks. Nodding, Injae obliges, pushing the faucet on again to cup some water, and run it across his face. Still bending over, he shakes his head to dry it before standing up again. ¡°Better?¡± He mumbles, cheeks flushing as Suok scans his face critically. The dirt now gone, she nods in approval. Returning to the benches, Suok sits next to her brother while Injae seats himself at the bench which faces them. As soon as they¡¯ve sat, Haeok¡¯s narrow eyes meet Suok¡¯s. ¡°Watch the stuff. M¡¯gonna get a drink,¡± he states, standing up to walk towards the fountain. Suok nods in affirmation, waiting until her brother is out of earshot before she turns to address the younger. ¡°Hey,¡± She starts watching as Injae¡¯s head snaps to face hers, gaze still averted. ¡°You weren¡¯t planning on traveling, were you?¡± Her factual tone makes the question more of a statement, but Injae shakes his head regardless. ¡°Why¡¯d you come, then?¡± That¡¯s the real question, to Suok- Nobody would have gone so far on a whim. Injae¡¯s voice is slow when he responds. ¡°I didn¡¯t plan on coming, but I¡­¡± When he pauses, Suok can see him swallow. Suok nods, accepting the answer. She watches his eyes widen, his mouth open for a moment before he responds. She nods, assured. Quickly, Injae shakes his head. Suok smiles. Of the samulyangsimjamulyang The two sit together for a few minutes before Suok¡¯s eyes catch the movement of the door through which they arrived. It¡¯s Jungok, clutching a pot as she walks towards the benches, steam emanating from it apparent against a gust of cold air which slips through the open door. Jungok shivers as she walks, before sitting next to Suok and setting the pot on the ground. ¡°Aish, it¡¯s so cold outside,¡± She mutters. Wrapping her arms around the older, Suok squeezes her sister into a hug. ¡°I¡¯ll warm you up Unnie,¡± She says, playfully resting her head on her sister¡¯s neck. ¡°You just want a pillow,¡± Jungok scoffs, ¡°Get off, brat,¡± Jungok scolds, pinching the younger¡¯s arm. Reluctantly, Suok slides off her sister¡¯s back, unclasping her arms. She sits back, watching as Jungok sets out four bowls, taking the lid off the pot to scoop some millet into each of them. She adds jeotgal Haeok sits next to Injae, accepting a bowl when Jungok hands it to him first, tucking in and nodding his approval. When Jungok reaches to hand one to Injae, he ducks his head, avoiding the warm steam wafting up from the bowl. ¡°You didn¡¯t need to make me any,¡± He protests, shaking his head. Jungok scoffs. Injae shrugs. ¡°I know you¡¯re hungry, just have some,¡± She insists, exasperated. ¡°No, it¡¯s okay,¡± He resists, shaking his head. Jungok¡¯s voice is firm when she continues. Injae opens his mouth for a moment, before pursing it in a slight grimace. He nods to Jungok, letting out a mumbled The corner of Jungok¡¯s mouth is quirked satisfaction when she nods, beginning to eat from her own. The meal is finished quickly, the bowls practically clean when they¡¯re tucked away into Jungok¡¯s wicker bag. Suok stands, swinging her bags over her shoulders. Once all the bags have been collected, she spots a small line at the end of the departure lounge- likely the ticket booth. It is, she confirms as they approach the small queue, leather seating partitioned across from them with red velvet rope. She spots a timetable propped against the ticket booth- beckoning, she leads their small group to stand before it. ¡°The Kyongui line- That¡¯s the one we¡¯ve been on- it¡¯s next stop is in Sinuiju,¡± Suok reads, Squinting, Suok looks again the timetable. Haeok shrugs, face impassive. ¡°Sure,¡± Jungok nods. ¡°Let¡¯s get tickets for Manpo,¡± Haeok decides. From where he stands to the side, Injae clears his throat, gaze fixed on the floor. ¡°Uh, I-I¡¯ll meet you there, okay?¡± He says, not waiting for a response before he¡¯s leaving the timetable and heading for the platform. Jungok¡¯s brow is furrowed when she looks to Suok. ¡°He¡¯ll meet us there? What does that even mean,¡± Jungok complains, letting out a breath of air. I guess that means he¡¯s coming with us to Manpo?¡± She looks to Haeok, quizzical. They walk to join the line for tickets, standing at the end behind a group of laborers. ¡°I asked Injae if he wanted to come with us to Manjuguk," Suok reveals. When silence follows her statement, her head cocks to the side as she looks between her siblings. ¡°Kkoma, that¡¯s more money," Jungok says, sounding tired. ¡°He would be helpful, I can tell. With the way he knows how to get into places?" Seeing the objection on her sister''s face, she hurries to continue. ¡°Two. You¡¯re going to finish school.¡± Suok glares at her sister. ¡°Also, I don¡¯t think he has any family, cause I asked him why he came with us in the first place, and all he said was he needed to leave Kyongsong.¡± ¡°He¡¯s not our family though, Suok-ah. He¡¯s not our responsibility.¡± But her voice is uncertain. They take a few steps forward in the line. ¡°Unnie, he won¡¯t be a problem.¡± And it''s true- Suok doesn''t think anyone could argue that the skittish kid would cause trouble. Suok watches her brother''s expression, gaze distant and thin lips pursed as they reach the front of the line. Maybe it wasn''t fair to add that last bit about family, but Suok knows her brother has a soft heart when it comes to stray children- and from the expression on Jungok''s face, she knows it too. Finally, Haeok sighs. She beams up at him. This time, Suok is sure to ask for directions when she purchases the tickets, and when the man behind the counter points towards the correct terminal, she thanks him and leads her siblings in that direction. Now, walking onto the platform, she looks around- but between the light emanating from the station behind them and the platform¡¯s empty stretch of concrete, she doesn¡¯t see any sign of Injae. She turns her head to look to her siblings, wide-set eyes squinted, when movement from one of the train¡¯s windows catches her gaze- a hand, rapid waving, a face pressed against the glass. A laugh escapes Suok when she turns to her siblings. Jungok snorts. Haeok is silent, though a small smile plays on his lips even as they enter the train, handing three of their tickets to the attendant by the door. He nods to Injae, taking a seat next to the boy when they arrive to where he sits. Suok slides into the window seat across from them, Jungok sitting beside her. They¡¯ve been seated for a few minutes as the only passengers in the compartment when an attendant walks through the center aisle to let them know the train will depart soon. A few moments after, the doors are still open for boarding when a figure stumbles through. With bare feet and worn clothes tracking water onto the compartment floor, they slip and nearly fall through the doorway in their haste to enter. A girl, Suok thinks, catching a glimpse of the face underneath the mess of hair as the figure moves to an empty seat two rows from the door, pulling her knees up to her chest and folding over them. It¡¯s then that the door is closed, as a figure outside walks alongside the train. A girl maybe her sister¡¯s age, looking like that and traveling alone to Manchukuo? Jamulyang, . Her brow is furrowed as she looks over her siblings. Jungok is blinking tiredly beside her, Haeok staring vacantly out the glass. Beneath them, the rumbling of the train has already begun. Only Injae meets Suok¡¯s gaze, albeit fleetingly, nodding uncertainly in acknowledgment when she gestures towards the last arrival. ¡°Oppa,¡± Suok mouths, hoping to catch Haeok¡¯s attention. It doesn¡¯t, but his gaze snaps away from the window after Injae taps him, looking at the youngest in question. ¡°Look,¡± she hisses, breath raised to a soft whisper as he finally finds her imploring stare. She tilts her head slightly in the direction of the girl. Haeok¡¯s eyes narrow as his gaze finds her, thin lips pressed into a line as he takes in the huddled form. The train screeches as it lurches forward, steam stacks announcing its departure. Suok watches how his hand moves to the edge of the seat, to push himself into a standing position- Just as the two female train staff make their way back up the aisle, returning to the front of the train. She watches how the attendant closest to them leans in to whisper to the other, eyes flitting over the newest arrival before they step forward. ¡°Excuse me, Miss?¡± The shorter of the two calls, standing directly between their aisles. Noticing the commotion, Jungok¡¯s head snaps to Suok, eyes wide as she meets her gaze. The younger shrugs. ¡°If you don¡¯t have a ticket, you need to leave.¡± The girl remains seated, motionless. ¡°Hey!¡± the staff nudges her shoulder. ¡°Wait,¡± a voice interrupts, Japanese broken- Haeok, now fully risen from his seat. ¡°Sorry,¡± Suok interjects, rising from her seat to stand beside Haeok. ¡°What my brother means to say, is that she¡¯s our sister. She has some¡­¡± She gestures meaningfully towards her head. Jungok¡¯s sigh is exasperated, if quiet from where she remains seated. The woman¡¯s expression is one of disbelief when Suok rises, beaming up at her. ¡°Okay. You have her ticket, then?¡± She asks, eyebrows raised. Nodding assuredly, Suok turns to the bag on her seat, and reaches inside to retrieve Injae¡¯s unused ticket. Extending her right arm, she presents it to the woman with a smile. Pinching the bridge of her nose, the staffer holds the ticket up to read it- with a grimace, she rips the stub off and hands it back to Suok. Injae¡¯s eyes are wide, lips slightly parted when Suok returns to her seat. ¡°Sorry for the trouble ma¡¯am,¡± Suok says. The woman nods tersely, before following her coworker to continue down the aisle. With the staff gone, the girl¡¯s hunched posture unfurls into something poised, imposing. Her gaze is steel as she looks up, greeting them with a glare. Now facing them, Suok can see her face. The girl¡¯s nose is slender, skin pale beneath the layers of dirt coating her slim face. Her eyes are large, single lidded and angular, fox-like. By any metric she¡¯s beautiful, though smelling of sweat. ¡°Don¡¯t expect me to be fucking grateful,¡± She spits, lips curled. ¡°I don¡¯t owe you shit.¡± Her face is hard, as if daring them to object. Next to Suok, Jungok sister looks to the side, shocked embarrassment flushing her features. ¡°Do what you want.¡± It¡¯s Haeok who speaks, tone indifferent in the face of her unwavering glare. Her scowl deepens, if possible. After a moment, she stands, walking across the aisle to sit beside Jungok. Suok feels her sister press closer to her, feeling increasingly squished against the cold metal wall. Shifting, she looks out the window- Now out of the city, the only thing visible is her shaky reflection on the windowpane against the pitch black of night in the countryside. 8 - Baektu Dreaming
¡°Where¡¯d you even get the ticket?¡± The girl asks, breaking the silence. Her tone is accusatory, thin eyebrows drawn together as she fixes Haeok under a glare. It¡¯s Jungok who responds. ¡°I- Sorry,¡± he stutters, gaze shifting to the window. The response catches the girl¡¯s attention, gaze swiveling to fixate on Injae. ¡°You¡¯re from Kyongsong, aren¡¯t you? You can¡¯t be their brother.¡± ¡°N-no, I¡¯m not.¡± The resulting laugh is cruel. Haeok¡¯s voice is cold when he interjects. ¡°Don¡¯t talk like you didn¡¯t make me do this-¡± Cutting her off, Suok turns to the older girl imploringly. ¡°Unnie?¡± Her eyes widen in shock, the pause draining the venom from her tone. ¡°You¡¯re right, sorry.¡± Suok nods her head slightly, smiling. ¡°I-¡± The older girl swallows, off-footed. ¡°See? I knew it,¡± Suok confirms cheerily. From beside her, Jungok laughs. At that the aggression is back, the oldest girl turning to glare at her. ¡°What?¡± She glowers. ¡°Nothing! Nothing,¡± Jungok interjects through giggles. ¡°Hm.¡± The girl- Yongam¡¯s ¡°Haeok-oppa, ¡°The three of us are from, well. close to Daegu.¡± An amused huff escapes her mouth. ¡°Oh, Really?¡± Jungok perks up in her seat. ¡°Of course,¡± Yongam smiles, an expression reminiscent of something feral. ¡°Wahh,¡± Jungok reacts. Yongam¡¯s angular eyes flit from Jungok to her brother, curious scrutiny fixing him under her gaze. Lips pursed, Haeok nods once in acknowledgment. Yongam looks at him expectantly, eyebrows raised. Guiltily, Jungok shifts in her seat. Suok glares at Yongam, but the oldest girl gives no acknowledgment. ¡°I prefer the forest,¡± He responds, jaw clenched in obvious tension. He turns, facing the window. Features stretched in incredulity, Yongam lets out a huff of air, mouth curled into a small smirk. ¡°The ocean is beautiful. Where I¡¯m from, I could find all kinds of things washed up on the shore- shells, sometimes glass from Japan.¡± The smile on her face is the most genuine expression Suok thinks she¡¯s seen on her. ¡°Oh, really?¡± Jungok reacts, awed. ¡°Yeah,¡± Yongam affirms, a note of pride in her voice. nakksijji guseul ¡°They¡¯re called ukidama, A soft smile crosses her dirt-stained features as the words seem to leave of their own accord. With that, Suok watches as the door is neatly slid shut over her complexion, features fixing into something stiff. Suok feels the weight of that as much as any of them do, she¡¯s sure- Beside her, Jungok shifts as the conversation plummets into a stilted silence. Turning to look up at her sister, Suok pouts. ¡°Unnie, I¡¯m hungry,¡± she whines, jutting out her lower lip. Her sister lets out a huff of hair, blowing a stray hair to drift against her cheek. It hadn¡¯t been long since their last meal at the station, but the night was drawing late. ¡°I have napjak mandu, if you want some?¡± Jungok offers. She laughs softly when Suok nods enthusiastically, reaching down to draw from her wicker bag. leaning up, she brings with her a small pot, removing the lid to reveal the mandu. ¡°What¡¯s this called?¡± Yongam asks, leaning over to gaze at the pot with apparent hunger. Now it¡¯s Jungok¡¯s voice which lifts in pride to respond. ¡°Are you sure?¡± Yongam asks tone wary even as her gaze remains fixed on the food. ¡°Of course! It¡¯s practically a crime that you haven¡¯t had any, really,¡± Jungok assures, nodding again towards the dumplings. Somewhat vainly, Yongam wipes her hands against her skirt. A small grimace crosses her face when it does nothing to clean the grime, the fabric equally dirty. With the quick look of someone daring objection, she takes three from the pot. Jungok it the pot to Suok next, who takes two before passing it to Haeok. Injae takes his share after with shaking hands, and gives the pot back to Jungok. Eagerly, they begin to eat. ¡°S¡¯good, yeah?¡± Suok asks, looking to Yongam and Injae. ¡°Mhmn.¡± Yongam hums appreciatively. Injae nods. Next to Suok, a small smile crosses her sister¡¯s face before she reaches into the bag again. This time, cooked millet and the remaining persimmons are passed around the group. The meal continues in silence, everyone enjoying the food, Yongam eating especially hungrily. When Suok finishes, she turns to face the window, back leaning against Jungok¡¯s side. Outside, the pale crescent moon hangs low in the sky, distant lights of a village flickering from across the flat fields. Her eyelids flutter. ¡°Sleepy, kkoma?¡± Jungok whispers against her. Suok hears rustling, then feels the soft weight of fabric. Opening her eyes, she shifts to wrap the sheet spread over her around her feet, kicking off the rubber boots. Drawing the blanket around her, she curls against her sister¡¯s chest. The lull of the tracks and Jungok¡¯s breathing swaddle her in a gentle familiarity as Suok feels her mind drift away. ¡­ When Suok awakens, it¡¯s to the now-familiar rumbling of the wheels beneath. The rays of the morning sun press against her eyelids in their warmth, tender, but firm. She blinks slowly, carefully sitting up from where sleep finds her curled in Jungok¡¯s lap. As the world fades back into focus, she hears the soft snores of her sister beside her, looks around to find the still sleeping faces of the rest. Mouth dry, she runs her tongue against the back of her teeth. Only the movement of the train disturbs the silence of their compartment, bumps coinciding with the rumbling beneath. As the sun stretches her reach into the train, stripes of warmth play atop the center aisle, illuminate the leather backings of empty rows. Suok breathes, for a moment, closes her eyes. The compartment is cold, she realizes, shivering slightly where she sits and drawing the blanket closer around her. Thwack! She looks to the window, startled; a branch had hit against it, blows away before the sea of colors behind the pane, the forest outside the window. Eyes widened, Suok moves closer, forehead cold where it presses against the glass. The dry rice paddies of the countryside long passed during the night. The forest, made up of a thousand dots of a thousand trees, a thousand colors- the rustle of delicate leaves dripping like honey, like sparks of flame as they swirl in the wind, falling to the dirt as Suok flies past them. An untouched carpet of rust, amber, of paper-thin leaves that would crinkle under her footfalls with the ardent flavor of life, a musty scent- through the glass, she can taste it. Suok looks up, ahead, to where the mountains meet the sky. The horizon is shadowed, shaped by their jagged peaks and gentle slopes, climbing beyond her sight in reach of the heavens. And behind them all, Baektu Mountain looms greater, standing like a proud mother watching over her creation. Draped in swirling grays, the shawl of her distant mist bleeds into the cotton puffs drifting in the sky far above Suok, and the frigid breath of Baektusan whips against the cold pane she peers though, fogs the glass when she exhales, eyes wide, spilling down her cheeks with the exuberance of The Mountain.