《August Wind》


 Chapter 1. Night

    The night seemed normal. It was Friday. Fourteen year old, Maggie Peters sat cross-legged on the living room floor playing Monopoly with her younger brother, Skeeter. The phone rang. Maggie heard her mother pick up the receiver and say, "Hello," then her voice broke. She slammed down the phone within a matter of seconds. Maggie braced herself. Something terrible had happened.


    Mama stumbled out of the dark hall. Her nightgown fluttered around her. She was trembling. Tears slid from her eyes. In a choked voice she whispered, "Daniel...drowned. Daniel drowned today." Her mother turned and disappeared back into the darkness.


    What? Maggie''s entire body went numb. She looked at Skeeter, and he didn''t seem to be breathing. What?


    Maggie heard her mother dialing the phone. She must be calling Garnet. Maggie knew she would tell her they were coming. When they got there however, Daniel wouldn''t be there. He wouldn''t ever be there again. What happened? Her mother¡¯s voice in the hall was muffled. Maggie couldn¡¯t understand what she was saying. When Mama hung up the phone, she re-entered the room. Her voice was flat and hard, "It happened in the cattle tank this afternoon. Get packed. We''re going as soon as your daddy gets home." She disappeared again to call Maggie''s father at the fire station.


    Skeeter sat wide-eyed and frightened. "Come on," Maggie said. She went into the kitchen and got each of them a paper bag from under the sink. They didn''t have suitcases. Skeeter grasped his bag and went to his room. Maggie went to hers. She hurled her jeans, overalls, T-shirts, underwear and shoes into her bag. She carefully placed her best blue dress on top of the pile. It was for the funeral. She took her bag to Skeeter¡¯s room. He was frantically dumping clothes into his bag. When he finished, Maggie checked the contents. Only one pair of underwear, one sock, last year¡¯s blue jeans and seven shirts. She added the missing items. He was trying so hard, but he was only eight and he was frightened. Maggie was scared too.


    A little after midnight, Maggie''s father returned home from a house fire. He smelled smoky. Mama waited impatiently as he took a shower.


    Skeeter sat beside Maggie on the living room couch waiting. Before them loomed a pile of paper bags, pillows and sleeping bags. Mama came into the room and said, "Pack the car."


    Immediately Maggie and Skeeter jumped up. They grabbed as much as they could hold and took it outside. With her left hand, Mama held her suitcase, with her right hand, she opened the trunk of their little red Mustang. Maggie stared into the tiny trunk. All their stuff was never going to fit in there. Some how after several trips and a lot of rearranging, everything did fit.


    ¡°Get in the car,¡± Mama said.


    Maggie and Skeeter obeyed. Maggie looked out her window at the house next door. Eight years ago Daniel and his family lived there. If they hadn¡¯t, now wouldn''t matter. Daniel would just be some stranger Maggie had never heard of, instead of a friend she¡¯d just lost. As she stared at the house, she remembered how Daniel used to push his two younger brothers up and down the driveway in their old red wagon. "Faster! Faster!" John Carl and Billy yelled. Daniel always smiled as he ran. It hurt to think she wouldn¡¯t see that smile again. Some how this couldn¡¯t be true.


    When Maggie¡¯s parents got into the car, they left. Ten minutes into the trip, Skeeter¡¯s light brown head slid onto Maggie¡¯s shoulder. She glanced down at his relaxed features. He was asleep. Maggie wished she was.


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    For half an hour Maggie tried to force herself to sleep. It was useless. She opened her eyes and looked out her window at the sky. The stars remained constant in spite of the car¡¯s movement. As she stared out at the night, she wondered if Daniel was up there among the stars. Was his soul flying to heaven? Or was he already there? She wondered how long it took to get to heaven. Was death like a journey or like stepping through a door?


    In the front seat Mama and Daddy remained silent. Maggie wished they would talk. Their voices might distract her, perhaps even lull her to sleep. If nothing else, she wished they would turn on the radio. She wanted to ask them to, but for some reason she was afraid to break the silence.


    Maggie closed her eyes again. She longed for sleep but it wouldn''t come. Images kept rushing around exploding in her memory, Daniel''s rough knuckles, his freckles, his tousled red hair, his smile, and his laugh. All quiet, all stilled. Hard as she tried, she couldn''t feel that he was gone. She had an ache in her chest like a knot. It was very heavy and it made her gasp for air. She tried to think of other things. It was no use. Her tired mind kept returning to Daniel and the past.


    Around four a. m. Maggie dropped into fitful sleep. Part of her still heard the sound of the tires as they turned against the pavement. Skeeter sighed in his sleep. For two hours she continued in this state, then the sky began to lighten.


    Maggie awoke in the blue light of pre-dawn. As she scrubbed the sleep from her eyes, she wondered why she had been so anxious for time to pass. Now, she wished the sun would never appear. She didn''t want to face what this day would hold. She wanted to go back. She wanted to go home. Despite her wishes, the sun burned over the horizon. She squinted and turned away from the window. They would be there soon. If only the sun would sink and hide itself, or better yet take time backwards to yesterday before IT happened. The sun climbed higher and higher.


    The red earth beyond Maggie¡¯s window rose and fell in gentle waves. The scrub oak and mesquite trees stood in clumps. The tall brittle grass swayed in the wind. They passed a little cemetery. It contained a fresh grave. Maggie stared at it. Skeeter whispered, "Is it Daniel''s?"


    "I don''t think so," Maggie said as she turned to face him. "They usually don''t dig graves until the day of the funeral."


    Fifteen minutes later, they left the asphalt highway and turned onto a dirt road. Pale red dust swirled behind the car. Peanut fields flanked the road. Maggie¡¯s father turned into the Will¡¯s drive and stopped the car in front of the cattle gate. Maggie got out and opened the gate for him. From where she stood, she could see the Will¡¯s house. Its bare boards were weathered silver and its tin roof was rusted red. A flash of reflected light caught Maggie''s eye. It was the sun upon water. She saw the cattle tank and felt sick. Daniel had died there only yesterday. Quickly she looked away. Daddy drove the Mustang through the gate and Maggie climbed back into the car.


    They passed Uncle Woody''s trailer and drove down the steep grade where the branch intersected the drive. The branch bottom was dry and sandy from lack of rain. When they crested the hill, Maggie saw Daniel''s red and white truck. John Carl''s white truck was beside it under the oak tree. Daddy pulled the car under another tree behind the house.

 Chapter 2. Water

    From the backseat, Maggie watched the Wills come out the back door, Garnet, Bill, John Carl, Billy and Corey Jean. Mama wasted no time getting out of the car. She flew into Garnet''s arms. They stood clinging to one another for a long while, crying silent tears. Maggie remained where she was. Skeeter, still beside her, reached for her hand. His hand was cold.


    Maggie studied Garnet. She wore a faded housedress and satin slippers. Her graying auburn hair clung to her tear-stained face. In spite of her sadness there was a glow about her. Bill had the same sort of glow. His black hair was wet and combed back. He held a cigarette in one hand. His lips trembled as he smiled and shook hands with Daddy.


    With great effort, Maggie propelled herself out of the car. Skeeter followed. He didn¡¯t let go of her hand until they reached the others. The next thing Maggie knew she was in Garnet¡¯s arms. She buried her face in the softness of her shoulder. There was a tension in Garnet¡¯s body that communicated itself to Maggie. Quickly, Maggie let go of Garnet. She had never been so close to such sadness. When she hugged Bill she only embraced him a moment. She didn¡¯t want to feel his sadness too.


    "Hey girl," Billy said. He hugged Maggie so hard her ribs hurt. Though she tried to struggle free of him, he didn¡¯t let go until he was ready.


    Four-year old Corey Jean hopped around as she waited for her hug. Maggie knelt down, the child smelled sweet and clean. Her reddish curls caught the sunlight. Maggie found comfort in her tiny arms.


    John Carl stood away from the group. Maggie hesitated, she looked at him, his eyes were down cast. Sudden shyness overtook her. Perhaps he didn¡¯t want to hug her. Maybe she should be relieved. Still it seemed rude to hug everyone else and not him. If only he would look at her she would know what to do. She waited. He kept his eyes on the ground. Garnet and Mama went inside, followed by the rest. John Carl was last. As Maggie watched John Carl¡¯s back disappear into the house, a great emptiness swept through her. He had not wanted to hug her. Hurt, she walked up the porch steps.


    At the screen door she saw Daniel''s boots. They were old, worn, slouched over and caked with mud. It was odd but Maggie felt like they were waiting for him. Inside the house it was oddly silent. Even talkative Corey Jean was quiet. Usually coming through this back door meant entering into laughter. Daniel wasn''t there to say "Hi, Mag-gie." He always pronounced both G''s in her name. He wasn''t there to smile at her or give her a quick hug. This loss shot through Maggie. She felt suddenly sick. She ran through the kitchen and into the bathroom. Her stomach was raw. She prayed she wouldn¡¯t throw up. The ache in her chest twisted tighter and tighter. She locked the door and turned on the faucet. The cool water she splashed on her face helped a little.


    The metal doorknob rattled. "Maggie, Maggie," Corey Jan said. "I got to pee-pee.¡±


    Maggie opened the door. Corey Jean pushed passed her and quickly shed her tight pink shorts.


    "Whew," she said. "I didn''t think I''d make it. Just knew I''d have a accident. Daddy gets real mad. He don''t like accidents. He says I''m too big for accidents. But sometimes I just can''t hold it." Corey Jean hopped off the toilet.


    "Corey you forgot to wipe."


    "Boys don''t have to wipe so why should I?"


    "Because, you aren''t a boy."


    The child pulled up her shorts and hurled a defiant glare in Maggie''s direction. She ran out of the room. Maggie heard Garnet ask, "Did you wipe Honey?"


    "Oh yes Mama, I did," Corey Jean said.


    Maggie stood in the doorway. Billy, who was leaning into the open refrigerator by the bathroom door, asked, "You planning to stay in there all day?"


    ¡°No.¡± Outside, she heard the crunch of gravel. She went to the bathroom window. Billy followed. He stopped just behind her. He rested his chin on her shoulder. Maggie could feel the tension in his body.


    In the drive, Uncle Woody¡¯s green truck came to a halt. Uncle Woody climbed out of the truck, followed by his three sandy-haired, freckle-faced boys. Don was eight, Earl had just turned seven and Bee Bob was five. Uncle Woody looked at the house. His green eyes were dull.


    The sound of the screen door smacking against the house startled Maggie. Corey Jean ran down the sidewalk into Uncle Woody''s arms. As Uncle Woody swung her up she said, "Guess what Uncle Woody, my onliest girl cousin, Annie, is coming from Colorado with Grandma Marcy" She glanced disdainfully at the boys. "When she gets here I''m not gonna have to play with you dumb old boys."


    Don said, "That''s the best news I''ve heard this year."


    Corey Jean stuck her tongue out at him.


    Before Billy moved away from the window, he said, "It won''t be much longer till the people start coming. Mama wants me to go to town to get some cokes and chips. Want to come?"


    "Yeah, sure." She followed him into the living room while he got money from Garnet. The living room was the same, but nothing in this house felt the same. Like Daniel¡¯s boots at the back door, everything seemed to be waiting, waiting for him to return.


    ¡°Don¡¯t take too long,¡± Garnet warned.


    ¡°I won¡¯t Mama.¡±


    Maggie followed Billy out the backdoor. Skeeter and the boys were headed down the drive for the branch. Corey Jean followed behind them.


    Uncle Woody had not gone into the house yet. He was leaning against his truck. Maggie¡¯s father was beside him. He called out, "Hey Maggie." He opened his arms to her.


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    "Hi, Uncle Woody," she said, giving him a hug.


    Uncle Woody glanced at his nephew, "Now Billy, you look after our Miss Maggie."


    "Yes, sir."


    Maggie looked at her father and said, ¡°We are going to get some chips and cokes.¡±


    Daddy nodded.


    On the ride into town Billy didn''t swerve or stop abruptly. Usually, he liked to scare her. She noticed he was breathing kind of funny. She asked, "What''s wrong? You sound like you have a chest cold."


    Without looking at her Billy said, "I swallowed a lot of water when I tried to pull Daniel out yesterday. The doctor said some of it went in my lungs. It hurts when I breathe."


    "You were there?"


    "Yeah,¡± his voice became hard, ¡°so was John Carl.¡±


    "He was? What happened Billy?"


    He didn''t answer.


    Maggie looked at him. His body, though slumped over the steering wheel, was rigid in every muscle. His hands gripped the wheel so tightly they were white. He looked at her. His blue eyes were red rimmed and blood shot. He turned away from her and flipped on the radio.


    *


    Around eleven, people started coming to the Will¡¯s house. Friends, neighbors, and church members brought casseroles, sandwiches, cookies and cakes. Food for the grieving. The dining room table groaned under the load. As Maggie looked at the table, she remembered she hadn''t eaten since yesterday. Even so, she didn¡¯t feel much like eating now. She picked up a cookie and shoved it in her mouth. The act of chewing it and swallowing it was difficult. She went into the kitchen for a glass of tea. A girl with long brown hair passed her and went into the living room. John Carl got up from the couch. The girl wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her. Maggie wished she was that girl.


    As time passed, more and more people came. Maggie watched as Bill and Garnet sat on the black vinyl couch. People hugged them, patted their hands, and talked to them. Maggie didn''t know how they stood it. She wanted to tell everyone to go home and leave them alone. Or maybe, she just wanted to be left alone. She didn¡¯t like it being so crowded. She hated it being so crowded. She couldn¡¯t breath. With the thought, I can¡¯t take this anymore, she dashed out the back door and ran down the drive. She veered onto the cow trail that led to the branch. From the trail, she could hear the sound of flowing water. The mesquite trees and scrub oaks offered cool shade. At the branch, she slid down the steep bank. A tiny spring-fed stream bubbled. She sat down by one of the pools, pulled off her tennis shoes and plunged her bare feet into the cold water.


    Farther down the stream, Uncle Woody''s boys and Skeeter emerged from a thicket of trees carrying rusty cans and old shovels. She knew they were going to build a dam. That is what she and Billy used to do.


    Don said, "This is the spot." It was the place every dam was built. A knee-deep pool spilled over a sandbar. All that was needed was an hour of dam building and the water would back up nicely.


    Skeeter said, "I bet by supper time it''ll be real deep."


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Earl agreed.


    Bee Bob just nodded and sucked his thumb.


    Earl spotted Maggie. "Come on, we need some help."


    She picked up her shoes and hopped from rock to rock. Skeeter handed her a shovel. She said, "Once Billy and I built a dam so high we got the water waist deep." Of course her waist had been much lower at the time.


    "Wow," said Don. "Do you think we could do that?"


    "Sure," Maggie said. She thrust her shovel into the sandy bank and heaved the load into the shallow water. For a while she forgot about the knot in her chest. She even forgot about Daniel.


    They worked steadily. The hot sun began to suck the coolness out of the branch. The shade grew deeper and shorter. Maggie''s back ached. She stretched and shaded her eyes against the sun. The dam was finished. She sat down in the cool damp sand and swished her toes around in the water.


    Don said, "I bet this is the best dam ever."


    Skeeter grinned. "We''re gonna have some fun tonight."


    "Yeah," Earl said.


    Bee Bob sat down beside Maggie and stuck his sand-covered thumb in his mouth.


    Don made an ugly face at his baby brother. "You¡¯re gonna get worms from that nasty thing."


    Bee Bob pulled his thumb out of his mouth, "Am not." Defiantly, he popped it back in.


    Don returned the ugly face and taunted, "Oh, yes you are gonna get worms. Big, slimy, black worms. Aunt Garnet says so and she don''t lie. You''re gonna get a belly full of GIANT worms."


    Sun light glinted off the growing pool. A sudden realization struck Maggie. This water that was now gurgling innocently into the boys¡¯ current swimming hole, came from the same spring that fed the cattle tank. Water was a terrible, powerful thing. The knot in her chest returned.


    Bee Bob put his hand on her knee. "What is it Maggie?" he asked.


    She looked into his eyes. She saw fear in them. She didn¡¯t want to make it worse, so she lied, "Oh it''s nothing. I was just thinking about how much fun you are going to have swimming this evening.¡±


    "Yeah," he said smiling. He put his thumb back in his mouth and waded out into the water.


    Maggie drew her knees to her chest and hugged them. For a while, she had forgotten Daniel was dead. She wouldn''t forget again. A car door slammed up at the house then another one. Maggie put her hands over her ears.

 Chapter 3. People and Gossip

    The afternoon sun burned down. Maggie sat on the back step trying to eat a cheese sandwich. She really wasn''t very hungry but Mama said she had to eat something.


    The screen door creaked as Billy came outside. A cigarette dangled from his lips. Quietly, he sat down quietly beside Maggie and blew a stream of smoke out the corner of his mouth.


    Maggie wrinkled up her nose at him. ¡°You''re still doing that?"


    He glanced at her and said, "Yeah, get over it."


    They sat in silence until a girl in white jeans approached them. Billy stood up and said, ¡°Hey Brenda.¡±


    The girl smiled. She had streaked blonde hair and her face was familiar to Maggie though she had never seen her. Brenda was John Carl''s girlfriend. Maggie had seen her school picture in his wallet. An older man followed Brenda up the sidewalk. Billy went to the girl and hugged her. He said, "John Carl''s in the living room eating." He, then, extended his hand to the man behind Brenda. "Hi, Mr. Thompson."


    The man shook Billy¡¯s hand and asked, "How are you son?¡±


    Billy shrugged as he let go of Mr. Thompson¡¯s hand. He asked, ¡°Are ya''ll hungry? We got a ton of food in there."


    Maggie got up to let them pass. Billy followed but Maggie did not. Instead, she remained on the porch, in what was left of the shade. Sweat stung her eyes, tears too if she was honest with herself. She was not honest. That Brenda was even prettier than her picture and she had curves her picture hadn''t shown.


    The back door banged open. Corey Jean burst through the doorway and plopped down beside Maggie. In a disgusted voice she said, ¡°Icky old Brenda''s here.¡±


    Grateful for an ally, Maggie asked, "You don''t like her?"


    Corey Jean shook her head. "No I don¡¯t. I wish she''d go home.¡± She glanced over her shoulder. ¡°And I wished all them other peoples in there would too. They make Mama sad. They talks to her and tears come out her eyes."


    Maggie knew what she meant, however she felt compelled to explain, "They are here to let your mama and daddy know how much they cared about Daniel."


    "Well some of them had a funny way of showin¡¯ it when he was still here. I heard Mr. Brown call Daniel a moron once. I told Mama and she cried." Corey Jean looked up at Maggie and asked, "Why''d she cry?"


    Maggie put her arm around Corey Jean. "It always hurts your mama when somebody talks about Daniel like that. He just had trouble learning. He wasn''t a moron."


    Corey Jean leaned up against Maggie and said, "Mama says Daniel''s in heaven now. She says he''s up there with my sister, Marcy, who died. You know, the one that come before me a long time ago and didn¡¯t live very long. Anyways, Mama says now she''s got two babies in heaven. I told Mama Daniel wasn''t no baby, he''s almost a man. That made Mama cry. Seems like everything makes Mama cry. Why do you think Mama cried when I said that?"


    Not sure what to say, but knowing some explanation was needed, Maggie said, "She''s crying so much because she misses Daniel."


    "She can''t miss him too much, he just left yesterday. Why he''s gone two weeks in June and Mama didn''t cry then." Corey Jean wrinkled her forehead. "How you think he got to heaven? Mama says somethin¡¯ about his spirit. I guess that''s like a ghost, though I can''t imagine Daniel being a ghost. But if he was a ghost he''d be a nice ghost. Don''t you think?"


    Maggie nodded.


    "Anyways, his spirit is supposed to go up to heaven and that''s how Mama says he got there. His spirit goes up. I guess it floats like a bubble, but it don''t pop. His body don''t. Brother Stephens told me Daniel''s body is just a shell. I thought a preacher ought not to say somethin¡¯ so stupid. Daniel don''t look nothin¡¯ like a shell." Corey Jean took a deep breath and changed the subject. "My onliest girl cousin''s comin¡¯ tomorrow."


    "Yes I know."


    "How''d you know?"


    "I heard you tell Uncle Woody."


    "Oh, well anyways I can''t wait." Corey Jean hopped up, banged open the screen door just as Mr. Thompson came out the back door. She said, ¡°¡¯Scuse me,¡± and swerved around him.


    Maggie stood up to let Mr. Thompson pass. Without a word he headed down the sidewalk to his truck. After he drove off, Maggie went to the well-house where the chickens were scratching. She broke her sandwich into tiny pieces and tossed it to the squawking birds. Her stomach was too upset to eat. She was getting over heated and she needed to go inside. She headed for the house, walked up the steps and stopped. Unable to force herself to go inside, she sat down on the top step. In that instant the screen door banged open once again. Brenda¡¯s long white denim covered legs strode passed her. John Carl brushed against Maggie¡¯s arm as he hurried after Brenda. He glanced back and said, "Sorry."


    Brenda stopped at the end of the sidewalk. She glared at John Carl. "I want to go to Liddie''s now, John Carl."


    "I told you I can''t leave yet. Mrs. Jenkins wants to see me and Mama told her I''d be here."


    "I knew I should''ve gone home with Daddy. I can''t stand being in there one more second." Brenda grimaced at the house.


    "Please Brenda. It''s hot out here, come inside." John Carl reached for her arm. Brenda jerked away from him.


    "If I die of heat stroke it''ll be all your fault." Maggie noticed John Carl wince at Brenda¡¯s words. He dropped his hands helplessly to his sides.


    Brenda thrust her chin into the air and stomped down the drive. She disappeared around the house. A truck door opened and slammed. Rock music blasted from what Maggie guessed was John Carl''s truck radio.


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    John Carl stared in the direction Brenda had gone. He shook his head then walked toward the house.


    Maggie said, "She seems kind of mad."


    Without looking at her, John Carl said in a low flat voice, "When isn''t she mad?"


    *


    Around four, John Carl finally took Brenda home. After that more and more people left. The ocean of cars and trucks that had surrounded the house thinned out to just a few. At last Maggie felt she could go inside. Her head ached a little from sitting so long in the heat of the bright sun. It took her eyes a couple seconds to adjust to the cool darkness of the house. She went into the living room. There was an empty space beside Billy on the couch. He smiled at her as she sat down. Her arm rested against his. They didn''t talk or even look at each other. Being together was enough. Maggie leaned back and closed her eyes. In a matter of seconds she was asleep.


    Two hours passed before she stirred. Women''s voices pulled her out of sleep. Two separate voices spoke in soft whispers beside her. Maggie opened her eyes. They were a pair of neighbor women she had met during her sojourn on the back step.


    The woman in the flowered blouse hissed, "Yeah, that''s what I heard."


    The blonde woman in the white sleeveless blouse nodded and whispered back. "Sure is strange the way it happened."


    "Yeah I''ll say. I thought Daniel could swim."


    Their voices dropped lower. Maggie strained to hear the blonde say, "I heard those boys was drinking and doing dope."


    "No, not Daniel."


    "Oh, I don''t think so either, but you never know with kids these days."


    Maggie leaned over and glared at the two women. How could they say such things in Daniel''s house? What if Garnet or Bill overheard? They were cruel, spiteful women.


    "Oh, you''re awake, honey," the one in white said.


    The other laughed, "How long have you been awake?"


    "Long enough," Maggie said. She got up and walked angrily away. She wanted to slap those women. She slammed the front door behind her. Her heart was beating hard. How could people be like that?


    Uncertain what to do Maggie stood on the front porch and looked at the evening sky. It was still cloudless. A stray breeze carried the sound the boys and Corey Jean''s voices. Suddenly she heard Don yell, "Geronimo!"


    Maggie wanted to be with them. She raced down the cow trail leading to the branch. The kids were jumping up and down in the water hole trying to see who could make the biggest splash. Billy leaned on a shovel ready to repair the dam if it broke. "Finally, wake up?" he asked Maggie as she climbed down the steep bank.


    She nodded.


    "I couldn''t believe you just fell asleep."


    Maggie smiled shyly at Billy. He wore cut-offs. His back and chest were tan. His legs were getting hairy and he had a little stubble on his chin. He seemed a stranger. She was loosing her Billy to this emerging man. Maggie sat down in the soft sand and yanked off her shoes. She waded across to him. He grabbed her hand. It was all right. He was still her Billy.


    Before she realized what was happening he grabbed her other hand and shoved her backwards. Maggie landed in the cool water. "You," she yelled. Maggie reached for Billy. She started to pull him down too. Then, she thought of how he had been coughing earlier in the day. She put her hands back in the water and pushed herself up.


    The boys laughed as she waded back to shore. Her clothes were soaked.


    Angrily Corey Jean ran over and kicked Billy''s shins. "You be nice to Maggie or I''ll tell on you." Corey Jean''s eyes flashed in Maggie''s direction. "Us girls got to stick together."


    Billy walked over to where Maggie stood. He touched her face gently with his left hand and said, ¡°I¡¯m always nice to Maggie.¡±


    Maggie felt shy and a little embarrassed. She looked at Billy. His mouth smiled, but his eyes didn¡¯t. He turned his attention back to the dam.


    *


    Maggie lay awake on the old lumpy couch on the screened-in front porch. She couldn''t go to sleep. She had been here all day and still she didn¡¯t know what happened when Daniel died. No one told the story from beginning to end. From what she had managed to over hear, Daniel, John Carl, and Billy were all home from work yesterday. They ate. They went to the tank. Billy tried to save Daniel. Daniel drowned. No one said what John Carl did.


    Maggie rolled over and looked at the blank space under the oak tree where John Carl¡¯s truck should be. He was still with Brenda.


    It was so hot and still. Maggie kicked her sheet off. Her nylon sleeping bag was sweaty beneath her. She could have slept with Skeeter on the fold-out couch or on the floor in Daniel''s room. In spite of the heat she¡¯d rather be exactly where she was. She needed to see the stars in the deep black sky. The sky comforted her in a way she couldn¡¯t explain. She stared at the big dipper and wondered if people in heaven knew about the future. If they did, then Daniel knew whether or not John Carl would ever like her or even love her.


    She heard a truck bumping down the drive. She re-covered herself with the sheet. It had to be John Carl coming.


    The brakes squealed. It was John Carl''s truck. Maybe he would go through the front door. Maggie lay there waiting. She heard his boots crossing the brittle grass. He turned. He was going in the back door. Maggie sighed and kicked the sheet off again.

 Chapter 4. Funeral Home

    The house was quiet Sunday morning. The mourners were either asleep or in church. Garnet and Bill were at the funeral home making arrangements for Daniel''s service.


    After her shower, Maggie walked into the dining room where Skeeter was eating scrambled eggs. He looked up at her and said, "I don''t want to go."


    Maggie knew he was referring to the funeral home. She didn¡¯t want to go there either. In a low voice she said, ¡°Me neither."


    Skeeter jabbed his cold eggs with his fork before he spoke. "Why''s Mama making us?"


    Honestly, Maggie wasn¡¯t sure. She sat down at the table and shoveled some eggs onto her own plate. The bacon was all shriveled up and grease soaked. She stabbed a strip of it with her fork.


    ¡°Well?¡± Skeeter asked.


    The first thing Maggie thought was, why don¡¯t you ask Mama yourself? She knew he wouldn¡¯t though. So she said, "I guess it has something to do with respecting the dead."


    He wrinkled his nose and asked, "What''s respecting the dead mean?"


    "It means to show that you thought well of the person while he was alive. If you don¡¯t go to the funeral home, I guess Mama thinks that would be disrespectful."


    Skeeter rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Gees Maggie I don¡¯t get it. Mama says Daniel''s in heaven and he can see me like Santa Claus can. If he can see me why can''t I just tell him I respect him with out going to the funeral home?"


    Maggie shrugged her shoulders. "I don''t know."


    *


    The hot afternoon sun blazed down upon the Peters¡¯ car. The air conditioner didn''t work too well. Maggie had on one of her mother''s sundresses and it didn''t quite fit her. Skeeter sat beside her humming. Maggie leaned her head against the hot glass and looked out the window. Peanut fields rushed by. The sky was deep blue with misty smears of clouds. Maggie watched the pale red dust blow across the highway. Everything was coated in dust, the grass, the cows, the trees. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.


    "I wonder how Daniel''s going to look," Mama said to Daddy.


    Daddy grunted.


    Maggie had never seen a young dead body before. Daniel would never have a wife, or children, or grandchildren. He would never grow old and wrinkled. Just twenty, six more years than Maggie had lived so far. The thought chilled her. She had never thought of death in connection with herself. It was something far away, something that seemed like it would never happen. But it could, it would. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in six years. Maybe she would never marry or have children or grand children.


    "We''re here," Mama said as they pulled into the parking lot of Baker¡¯s Funeral Home. "Now, Skeeter, you act like you''re supposed to act in church. No running or loud talking."


    "Yes, Ma¡¯am." Skeeter grabbed Maggie''s hand and followed her inside.


    The funeral home was dimly lit. People spoke in whispers as if in a library. When Maggie stepped into the foyer, she saw spots. Then her eyes adjusted. She saw red carpet, red curtains, red crushed velvet cushions, and red roses. Why red? Red reminded her of blood.


    She followed her parents to a little white book. Daddy lifted Skeeter so he could carefully print his name in it. Michael Peters. Maggie signed her name below his.


    Her family went into Daniel''s cubicle. She hesitated and looked through the door behind her. An old man lay silent, dead in there. Slowly she turned away and walked into Daniel''s room. She didn''t want to see this. Her parents stood before the open casket. Daddy was still holding Skeeter. Skeeter glanced at Daniel then asked to be put down. He went over and sat on one of the red velvet benches. His feet didn''t touch the floor. He swung his legs back and forth.


    Maggie looked down at Daniel. Seeing him dead made this real. A lump formed in her throat, she closed her eyes then turned away. She went to Skeeter. He whispered, "He looks kind of funny, don''t he?"


    Maggie nodded her head.


    "He looks like them wax people in that movie we saw. Remember?"


    She remembered and it was true. Daniel did look like a wax figure of himself. She whispered back, "His hair don''t look right either. Did you see the way they had it all brushed back."


    "Yeah, they pulled out all the curls. How do you think they did that?"


    "Hair spray I guess."


    The two gossipy neighbor women Maggie had seen yesterday entered the cubicle. They were dressed in floral dresses. They stood for a long while staring down at Daniel''s body. "Look Bobbie, his hands aren''t showing. I heard they''re hidden because they couldn''t get them straightened out. His hands are all twisted from struggling. He was missing so long they got stuck that way."


    Maggie didn''t want to know that.


    The lady named Bobbie added, "See how his arm is kind of twisted."


    The women ceased their whispering when Garnet entered the room with Corey Jean. Garnet took her over to Daniel''s shiny brown casket.


    Corey Jean peered into Daniel''s face. She asked, "Is he sleeping?"


    Garnet shook her head.


    "I thought you said he went to heaven."


    "He did," Garnet said.


    "How can he be here sleeping and be in heaven?"


    "Remember, honey? I told you about his spirit and his body."


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    "Oh yeah, I forgot." Corey Jean stared at Daniel, her face a model of intense concentration. "Daniel, I come to say Goodbye. Mama says if I listen to Jesus and eat my vegetables I can go to heaven too."


    "Corey Jean."


    "Mama, I want to get down now." The second she hit the floor she ran over to Maggie. "I saw some swings across the road at that church. I told Mama about them when my babysitter dropped me off. She said, ''After you say goodbye to Daniel you can go swing.'' I did so let''s go."


    Maggie looked at Garnet. She nodded.


    Corey Jean tugged her hand, "Come on." She pulled Maggie to her feet and propelled her outside. Skeeter, shuffled behind them and scuffed his new dress shoes as he walked.


    "Stop that," Maggie said.


    Skeeter stuck out his tongue. He kicked up a cloud of dust.


    The August sun pounded down upon them. Sweat trickled in Maggie''s eyes as she swung the children.


    "Higher," squealed Corey Jean. "High as heaven. I want to see Daniel''s spirit."


    "You can''t see heaven from here," Skeeter told her. "And you can''t see Daniel''s spirit. It''s invisible. Only dead people can see each other cause they got special eyes. Besides that, the sky and the clouds are in the way."


    "I can see heaven at night," Corey Jean told him. "It''s between the stars."


    "Nuhun, isn''t either. It''s passed the stars."


    "Maggie, Skeeter says heaven is passed the stars. Is it?"


    Across the street Maggie saw Billy drive up and get out of his old white car. He waved to her and went inside.


    "What Corey Jean?" she asked.


    "I said, Skeeter said heaven is passed the stars. Is it?"


    "I think so."


    "Then I guess I can''t swing that high, huh?"


    "No I''m afraid not." She pushed Corey Jean even higher.


    The four-year old swung silently for a moment, then said, "Daniel sure did look funny. He just didn''t look like hisself. I never seen him in a suit before. I guess you got to get dressed up to go to heaven like you got to get dressed up to go to church. Except I thought everybody wore wedding dresses in heaven like the angels."


    "Wedding dresses?" Maggie asked.


    "Yeah, you know like the pictures in the Bible of angels. They''re wearing wedding dresses just like the one Aunt Betty wore the last time she got married."


    Skeeter rolled his eyes. "You are so stupid. Daniel''s soul isn''t wearing a wedding dress, neither are the angels. Those are choir robes, aren''t they Maggie?"


    She shook her head. "Actually Skeeter, those aren''t choir robes. They are called tunics in the Bible."


    "Whatever."


    Back and forth the children swung while Maggie pushed. Her back began to ache. She remembered how Daniel used to push her in their backyard swing when she was Corey Jean''s age.


    Billy came out of the funeral home and walked across the street. "Mama wants me to take Corey Jean home.¡±


    Corey Jean protested, "But I''m not done swinging yet."


    "Yes, you are. Maggie, you and Skeeter want to come along?"


    "For sure," Skeeter said as he jumped out of the swing.


    Not sure it would be okay, Maggie said, "I better go ask Mama, first." She headed across the street. Claustrophobia paralyzed Maggie the instant she stepped from the bright sun into the dim light of the funeral home. She wanted to turn and run back outside. The only way she could leave now, though, was if she asked Mama first. Reluctantly, she went into Daniel''s room.


    Mama was standing beside the casket clinging to Daddy. Her eyes seemed to be tracing Daniel''s every feature. She said, ¡°That could be Skeeter or Maggie laying there."


    "What?" Maggie asked.


    "Oh," her mother said. ¡°Maggie, I didn''t mean, I''m sorry."


    Maggie looked at her mother. How could she think something like that and say it out loud? Her mother grabbed her arm. Her fingers bit into Maggie''s flesh. Maggie¡¯s sense of claustrophobia increased. She had to get out of there fast. In a rushed voice she didn¡¯t ask, but told her mother, "Mama, we are going back to the house with Billy." She yanked her arm out of her mother¡¯s grasp.


    Her mother¡¯s voice shook when she said, "Don''t you let Skeeter go near that tank."


    "I won''t, Mama," Maggie said. Her mother¡¯s arms reached for her and pulled her into strangling hug. Maggie didn¡¯t hug her back. As soon as she let go, Maggie ran out of the room.


    When she got outside Billy had the kids loaded in the car. Skeeter''s bare feet dangled out the back window. He was laying down in the back seat staring at the tiny holes in the rusted roof. Corey Jean was in the front seat. She moved to the middle of the seat when Maggie slid inside.


    As they traveled down the highway the interior of the car became like an oven. Maggie''s back stuck to the blue vinyl seat covers. Corey Jean¡¯s hot little body leaned against her. The child had fallen asleep.


    Billy didn¡¯t speak until they pulled in to the Will¡¯s drive way. He cleared his throat and said, "Daniel looked real good. Don''t you think?"


    "Ah, yeah," Maggie lied.


    "He didn''t even have a suit to wear when he graduated. He does now, for all the good it will do him." Billy parked the car. Without looking at her he asked, "Did you see John Carl there?"


    "At the funeral home. No.¡± Maggie shook her head.


    "I didn''t think he''d show up."


    Maggie detected a bitterness in Billy''s voice that she didn''t understand. She asked, "Why did you think that?"


    "Just did."

 Chapter 5. Between Brothers

    Billy turned off the car and climbed out. Skeeter crawled through the open back window and headed for the house. Maggie didn''t see John Carl''s truck there. She glanced at Billy, he noticed it was missing too. He lifted Corey Jean up and carried her inside to Daniel¡¯s room. Maggie followed after him. She watched him gently lay his baby sister on the bed. The child didn''t stir.


    Billy studied his brother''s room. He touched one of Daniel''s 4-H ribbons that hung on the wall. His face turned red. He let go of the ribbon and left the room.


    Maggie closed the bedroom door behind him and peeled off her mother¡¯s sweaty dress. She tossed it on the floor beside Daniel''s chest of drawers. On top of the chest was the Zane Grey novel, NEVADA. She''d been reading it to Daniel during their last visit. They never finished it.


    The cold air from the air conditioner gave her goose bumps. She quickly pulled on her cut offs and red T-shirt. She looked down at Corey Jean. A nap might not be such a bad idea. Maggie yawned. She hadn¡¯t realized until that moment how tired she was. Careful not to wake her, Maggie lay down beside Corey Jean. She pulled Daniel''s afghan over both of them.


    *


    "Maggie, Maggie, wake up." Maggie opened her eyes. Corey Jean was leaning over her. "I''m hungry." Corey Jean hopped off the bed, banged open the door and ran out of the room.


    Disoriented, Maggie looked around her. Suddenly, she had the feeling that Daniel''s room was waiting for him. Like it just knew any minute now, he would come walking through the door. If only he could.


    In her high-pitched voice Corey Jean called, "Maggie." It sounded like she was in the kitchen.


    Maggie groaned and got up. As she passed through John Carl and Billy''s room, she literally ran into John Carl.


    Grabbing her shoulders, he said, ¡°Whoa.¡±


    The warmth of his hands on her shoulders sent a strange sensation through Maggie¡¯s entire body. She looked into his hazel eyes. He smiled.


    The phone rang. "John Carl, it''s Brenda," Billy called from the dining room.


    "Excuse me," John Carl said. The magic moment was over before it started. Annoyed, Maggie kicked Billy''s bed. Since she didn''t have her shoes on, it hurt. She went back into Daniel''s room to retrieve her shoes.


    Corey Jean whined, "Maggie, I''m gonna starve."


    Angrily Maggie shoved her feet into her sandy tennis shoes. She really needed to get over this John Carl thing.


    When she went into the dining room, John Carl was still on the phone, but he wasn''t talking. Maggie could hear the muffled sound of Brenda''s voice. He tilted the phone''s receiver away from his mouth and smiled at her again. In spite of herself, she grinned back.


    After Maggie filled a plate for Corey Jean, she went into the living room. Billy sat on the couch by a girl she¡¯d never seen before.


    Maggie asked, "Where''s Skeeter?"


    He said, "Don and the boys came by. He went off with them.¡± Billy turned away from her and continued talking to the girl beside him. He obviously didn¡¯t have time for her either. Maggie went over and sat down beside Corey Jean on the floor.


    A car horn blasted outside. Corey Jean jumped up and spilled her food all over the floor. She squealed, "It''s Annie!" Her pudgy fingers locked around Maggie¡¯s wrists. The child was strong. She pulled Maggie up, then out the front door.


    Aunt Betty''s little VW bus struggled up the steep drive. Grandma Marcy and Annie waved from the window. Aunt Betty looked like she was swearing as she gunned the motor.


    When they crested the hill Aunt Betty parked the van. Grandma Marcy and Annie climbed out the sliding side door. Aunt Betty slammed the door when she got out. She looked at Corey Jean and said, "I wish my big brother would do something about that driveway of his."


    Corey Jean wasn''t paying attention to her aunt. She rushed up to Annie and said, "Oh Annie, I''m so glad you comed." The two little girls hugged.


    Grandma Marcy leaned over and hugged the two children where they stood. She walked over to Maggie and wrapped her bony arms around her. "You''re getting mighty pretty. Have my grandsons noticed?"


    In a flat voice Maggie said, "No."


    "Give them time honey, they will."


    Aunt Betty hugged her too. "How''s it going kid?"


    "Uh, fine," Maggie said. Aunt Betty always made Maggie a little nervous. She was twenty-six and worldly. Her dark hair was the same color and texture of Billy''s. She wore a lot of make up. Maggie''s mama said Aunt Betty was wild. Maggie thought she was beautiful.


    After the others went inside, Maggie walked down the drive and cut through the branch. She looked at the sky. Though the sun was moving closer to the horizon, darkness was still a few hours away. She didn''t want it to get dark. She didn''t want today to end. Tomorrow was Daniel''s funeral. Hard as she tried she couldn''t rid herself of the image of his dead body. It was a memory she didn''t want. She sat down on a flat sandstone, hugged her knees and tried to comfort herself.


    Downstream she could hear the voices of Uncle Woody and the boys. She recognized Skeeter''s voice. Good. At least she knew where he was now.


    Up above, the clouds floated in puffy clumps. Maggie wondered if there were clouds in heaven. She used to think the angels jumped on clouds the way she jumped on the bed. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone puking. She got up and headed toward the sound. Further upstream, she found Billy hunched over beside a protruding sandstone. She slid her left hand into his right hand and asked, "You okay?"


    Billy straightened himself, but he didn¡¯t look at her. He pulled a paper napkin out of his left pocket and slowly wiped his mouth. In an agitated voice he said, "I''m okay. I think I ate too much." His trembling fingers gripped hers. He looked at her and said, "I got so many things I don''t want to think about."


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    Maggie could see the pain and confusion in his eyes. Just meeting his gaze made her hurt inside. Gently she said, "I know."


    Billy squinted at her and then led her to the sandy bank beside the stream. He pulled her down beside him. The sand was hot. Billy did not look at her, he kept his eyes on the sky. She noticed Billy was breathing funny again. That was not good. He needed to be distracted. She needed to distract him. But how? Several silent minutes passed before inspiration struck. She asked, ¡°Is Aunt Betty still married to Barry?¡±


    "No, she''s between husbands right now."


    Maggie waited for him to say more, but he didn¡¯t so she asked, "How many has she had so? Is it three or four?"


    In a flat voice Billy said, "Three. She never married Hank. Grandma Marcy says she can pick them, she just can''t keep them."


    "I wonder what it''s like to have so many husbands."


    Though his concentration was still on the clouds, Billy squeezed her hand and said, "That''s something I hope you never find out.¡± The tone of his voice became more even when he asked, ¡°Say won''t you be starting high school in a couple of weeks?"


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Billy turned and smiled at her. "Soon you''ll get a boyfriend and go on dates and to parties."


    Maggie didn''t want any old boyfriend, she wanted John Carl. This topic made her uncomfortable. In an effort to change the subject she said, ¡°It sure is hot this evening.¡±


    Billy shook his head and softly laughed. "Yeah, it''s hot."


    In the distance Maggie heard John Carl''s truck rumble down the drive. She didn¡¯t know how she knew it was John Carl¡¯s truck, she just did. He was probably on his way to Brenda''s house. She sighed out loud.


    Billy asked, ¡°What was that for?¡± Before Maggie could think of an answer she heard brakes squeal and a horn honk. Billy let go of her hand and stood up. Maggie also stood and turned to look. John Carl had stopped his truck where the branch intersected the drive. He called out above the roar of his truck motor, "Want to come into town with me? Mama needs some more ice."


    Maggie wanted to squeal yes, but nodded instead. Beside her Billy said, ¡°Well I guess I¡¯ll go too.¡±


    When Maggie climbed into the truck, Billy slid in next to her. Possessively he slung his arm around her and pulled her to him. She tried to wiggle away from him but he held her fast. She glanced at John Carl. His eyes were on the drive. He punched the accelerator, the truck sputtered and lunged forward. Maggie felt like she was suspended between the two brothers on a tight rope. Their hostility toward each other passed through her. The tension inside the truck grew with each minute that passed. No one spoke. The silence was awful. It brought her physical pain. She must say something to break the awful tension but nothing would come to mind. Warm air swirled through the open windows. A growing uneasiness twisted in Maggie¡¯s stomach. Something was terribly wrong between these two brothers. There had always been personality conflicts between them, but this was different.


    Finally, they pulled into the convenience store parking lot. She could not get out of the truck fast enough. Apparently Billy felt the same. He opened the door as soon as the truck stopped and hopped out. Maggie slid out behind him. Billy went inside to get the ice while John Carl put gas in the truck. Maggie started to follow Billy, but John Carl grabbed her wrist when she passed him. His fingers were warm, his grasp firm. The touch of him once again made her feel peculiar. John Carl let go of her wrist and pushed the gas nozzle into the truck¡¯s tank. He stood silent as he watched the numbers change on the gas meter. When he finally spoke his voice was gruff. He asked, ¡°How was the funeral home?¡±


    She looked up at John Carl. His eyes were still watching the number¡¯s change. "It was weird. Didn¡¯t you go by there?"


    John Carl shook his head. He pulled the nozzle out of the truck tank and screwed the gas cap back on. He touched her elbow, and then headed inside the store. Maggie followed. As he neared the counter where Billy had already set the bag of ice, a plump woman rushed up to John Carl and pumped his hand. In a stricken voice she said, "I''m so sorry. I just heard this morning."


    John Carl nodded.


    Still holding his hand, the woman continued, "I was just telling Billy how sweet Daniel was, real sweet. He used to come in here on Friday nights and keep me company." She let go of his hand and shook her head.


    After John Carl paid for their purchases, they headed back to the truck. This time when Billy got in he didn¡¯t plaster himself up against Maggie.


    As they made their way back to the farm the sun touched the horizon. The atmosphere inside the truck did not change. The only difference was that she was a little closer to John Carl and a little farther away from Billy. Maggie stared at the color tinged clouds. Usually she loved sunsets, but not this one.


    The truck hit a bump. Dust spewed in the air. Maggie was reminded of another truck ride she had taken back in June. Daniel had been driving then. Everyone was laughing. She was squashed between Billy and John Carl. Skeeter and Uncle Woody¡¯s boys were in the back. She wished she could go back in time to that day. If only something could have stopped what happened to Daniel. The sky turned lavender. Soon stars would appear. If only she could stop tomorrow.


    *


    It was late and Maggie couldn''t sleep. She felt so isolated. She couldn''t go inside. Grandma Marcy, Aunt Betty and Annie were sleeping on the fold-out couch. Skeeter was on the floor in John Carl and Billy''s room. The only place left was the floor in Daniel''s room, and she didn''t want to sleep in there.


    The sky seemed so big tonight. Never had she felt so alone, so insignificant. Maggie threw off her cover and went out the creaking screen door. "Patches," she whispered.


    Daniel''s old dog appeared from beneath the house. He shook out his black and tan coat and sat down at her feet. He was part Shepherd. She stroked his bony head. Tears slipped down her cheeks. Patches licked her face. She wrapped her arms around the old dog. She wanted to make it all better for John Carl and Billy, for every body really, but she didn¡¯t know how.

 Chapter 6. Before and During

    The roar of John Carl''s truck woke Maggie. Next, she heard Billy''s angry voice, ¡°You big fat coward. You jack ass, get back here!¡±


    What was happening? She sat up and stared down the road. John Carl''s truck disappeared in the distance. The screen door slammed as Billy stormed back inside. He didn¡¯t look at her. He opened the front door and slammed it too.


    Maggie got up and stumbled into the house. After the warmth of the sleeping outside, the cold inside air was numbing. Garnet, Billy and Grandma Marcy stood in the living room.


    "He should go," Billy shouted. "You know he should."


    Grandma Marcy said, "Billy, you calm down. You''re upsetting your mama."


    Billy sputtered, "I''m upsetting her. What about him?"


    In a soothing but firm voice Grandma Marcy said, "We all grieve differently, boy. You go on and get dressed."


    He grunted, ¡°Some don¡¯t grieve, they just run away.¡±


    Grandma Marcy warned, ¡°Billy, I said get dressed.¡±


    Sulking, Billy left the room.


    Grandma Marcy turned to Garnet who stood silent, staring at nothing. She hugged her and said, "I''m gonna call Woody, honey." She let go of Garnet and tilted her chin up. Gently she said, "He''ll look after John Carl."


    Garnet nodded.


    Maggie had to pass through Billy''s room to get to her clothes. In his room Billy was angrily opening and slamming drawers. His dress clothes were in a messy heap on John Carl''s bed. He didn¡¯t even look at Maggie as she walked through his room.


    In Daniel''s room, Mama was ironing. She looked up at Maggie when she entered and said, "John Carl''s not going to the funeral."


    "He''s not?" Maggie asked even though she had figured that out already.


    "No." Mama resumed her ironing.


    As Maggie got her dress out of the closet her mind filled with questions. Wasn¡¯t everybody supposed to go to funerals? Surely there was a rule about it wasn''t there? She didn''t want to go either but she had never considered not going. What would people say if John Carl didn¡¯t go to his brother¡¯s funeral? He just had to change his mind.


    *


    Back and forth, Maggie paced in the drive. Her high-heeled shoes made tiny prints in the dust. "Dear God," she prayed over and over, "please send him home." She was worried about John Carl. Where was he? Was he all right?


    Daddy called, "Maggie."


    It was time to go. John Carl wasn''t home. He wasn¡¯t coming home. She walked slowly to the car. Daddy honked the horn. Chickens flapped squawking into the air. "Hurry up," he yelled.


    Maggie got in. Skeeter fidgeted in his dress clothes. He tugged at his collar and fiddled with his sleeves. "Sure are slow," he said to Maggie.


    Mama sat in the front seat. Her face was tense. She wore a dark blue dress with little red flowers. She stared straight ahead. A shredded tissue lay crumpled in her lap.


    Maggie''s feet were sandy from pacing in the drive. She dusted off her new dress shoes. She hadn''t planned to wear them until school started. A few days ago, school was the most important thing on her mind. A few days ago seemed like a hundred years ago. Daddy started the car. She looked into the cloudless sky. It was just another summer day for most people. She watched houses, cows and fields rush by. Soon they would be there. Soon she would look upon Daniel for the last time. She shuddered.


    *


    The chapel was packed. Garnet asked Maggie to stay in the foyer near the phone in case John Carl or Uncle Woody called.


    The organ began to play. The service was starting. The phone rang. Maggie¡¯s hand trembled as she answered. She whispered, "Hello."


    "Maggie is that you?" It was John Carl''s voice.


    "Yes."


    "I''m at Uncle Woody''s trailer. He''s here with me. Would you tell Mama?"


    "Okay."


    "Bye," he said.


    Maggie raced down the hall where the family section was. She whispered the message to Aunt Betty who passed it on. Maggie searched the packed pews. There was no room for her.


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    She walked back down the hall alone. She didn''t want to sit by herself. She slid into the back pew beside a blonde woman she had seen at the house. The woman smiled at her as she sat down. She was one of the many women in hot pursuit of Uncle Woody.


    A woman in a lavender dress moved behind the pulpit. She began to sing.


    Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,


    naught be all else to me, save that thou art


    Thou my best thought by day or by night


    Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.


    Be thou my wisdom, and thou my true word;


    I ever with thee and thou with me Lord;


    Thou and thou only first, in my heart,


    Great God of heaven, my treasure thou art.


    Great God of heaven, my victory won,


    May I reach heaven''s joys, O bright heaven''s Sun!


    Heart of my own heart, whatever befall


    Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.*


    The woman closed her music and sat down beside Brother Stephens. Maggie had never heard that song before. She looked over at the Wills. She could barely see them through the white latticework that separated them from the rest of the congregation. Why hadn''t anyone saved her a place? She clasped her hands together.


    Brother Stephens rose. He raised his dark hands heavenward. "Let us pray," he said in his deep booming voice.


    "Dear Father,


    We thank Thee for being with us this day. We miss Daniel, but we know he has been released from the limitations that bound him here on earth. Hold these grieving friends and family. Comfort Garnet and Bill. We ask this in Your Son''s precious and holy name, amen."


    Brother Stephens lifted his head and looked out at the congregation. His voice was soft. "Friends, we''re here today to pay tribute to one of God''s children. Daniel Woodrow Wills was a fine young man and a credit to his God. He loved all God''s creation, all God''s creatures. He had a depth and a wisdom that was often amazing." He paused and turned to look at the family. "His ways were gentle and Christ-like. I remember the night I baptized Daniel. I had never seen such a glow on a young man''s face."


    Memories of Daniel filled Maggie''s mind. She saw him waving from his red and white truck. She heard his laughter. She remembered the feel of his hands upon her shoulders. Her eyes burned, but no tears fell.


    "There are many of us here who feel as Mary felt when she said Christ, ''Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.


    When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled.''


    Jesus wept with Mary and Martha. Those watching said, ''Behold how he loved him!'' Still the question echoed and re-echoed among the mourners, ''Could not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind, have kept this man from dying?''"


    Maggie''s mind hung on the phrase, ¡°kept this man from dying." Why hadn''t God kept Daniel from dying? She couldn''t see any reasons. She wanted Daniel to come back. Jesus had raised Lazarus. She knew he wasn''t going to raise Daniel.


    She stared at Daniel''s casket. She could only see the tip of his nose and a little of his forehead. If only he could get up and get out of there.


    Brother Stephens read Ecclesiastics chapter three. "To everything there is a season." She didn''t want to listen to the rest. She had


    heard it at all the other funerals she had ever attended. Daniel''s season had been too short.


    The music began to play. Brother Stephens said, "Amen." It was over. This evening Daniel''s body would be in the ground.


    The people stood and filed passed Daniel''s open casket. Maggie didn''t want to see him like that again. Besides it wasn''t really him anymore.


    When it was her turn, Maggie forced herself to look down at Daniel. A tremor ran through her. Death was ugly. It was puffy and cold. She didn''t blame John Carl for not coming. He would never have to remember Daniel in a box. She looked away and rushed out of the chapel.

 Chapter 7. John Carl

    <div>


    The funeral procession moved too slowly for Maggie and Skeeter. They stared out their separate windows. Daddy clasped and unclasped the steering wheel. Mama stared straight ahead, her back rigid. Finally, they pulled into the cemetery. Everyone filed out of their cars. The brittle grass crackled under foot. A red mound of dirt lay beside the green tent with the green chairs and the green carpet. Baker¡¯s Funeral Home was emblazoned on each chair in big white letters.


    Maggie got her first clear look at Garnet. She wore the same maroon dress she wore the night of Daniel''s graduation. Garnet moved to the front row of chairs. Grandma Marcy trailed behind Bill. She had out lived another grandchild. Billy stumbled to his seat. His eyes were red and so was his nose. His girlfriend, Sally, sat down beside him. Her hair was the color of a new penny. Corey Jean was at the baby-sitter¡¯s with her cousin, Bee Bob.


    People huddled around the tent. The sun glared down. The doves cooed deep in their throats. Brother Stephens stood up and began to recite the twenty-third Psalm. His eyes did not leave Garnet¡¯s face. When he finished he said, "Daniel has passed through the valley. We who are still here must walk through this valley of the shadow. God knows how dark it is. He feels your pain. You are not alone."


    After a short prayer, it was over. Maggie stared at the casket. It was draped with a big spray of roses and white carnations. Beneath the casket was a little green skirt that hid the gaping hole below. Maggie averted her gaze. She wouldn''t think about that. She wouldn¡¯t think about Daniel¡¯s body being covered with dirt.


    The people began milling arund. Maggie walked over to a spray of flowers and plucked a carnation. She wanted some token to remember Daniel. As she put it in her pocket, Billy grabbed her unaware and spun her around. He crushed her to him. She gasped. He let go of her abruptly and walked away.


    Skeeter sat in the shade of a tallow berry tree with Don and Earl. Maggie joined them. Earl got up and tugged at Maggie''s skirt.


    "What is it Earl?"


    "I heard Mrs. Jenkins say that when Daniel went heaven he got a new body. Is that true?"


    "That''s what it says in the Bible."


    "Oh. Will I be able to recognize Daniel when I get there?"


    "Of course you will," Maggie told him.


    He looked up at her and his eyes filled with relief. "I was afraid when I got to heaven I wouldn''t know Daniel or my mama and they wouldn''t know me.¡±


    The two gossipy neighbor women walked by on their way to their cars. They nodded at the children.


    "Well there is one blessing in this," Maggie heard the woman named Bobbie comment as they passed.


    "What''s that?"


    Bobbie lowered her voice, but Maggie still heard her say, "Well, at least it was Daniel and not John Carl. John Carl''s never been baptized, you know."


    "I didn''t know. Garnet would never be able to find any rest for her soul."


    Before they got in their car, Bobbie looked back at the crowd and said, "I noticed John Carl wasn''t here." Maggie saw them shake their heads in unison. For the first time in her life she felt hatred.


    Patsy, the woman Maggie had sat beside at the funeral, walked over to the tree. "Hi there," she said to Don and Earl. The boys didn¡¯t respond. This didn¡¯t bother Patsy. She smiled and continued, "Garnet asked me to take you on home." She looked at Maggie and Skeeter, "Your Mama and Daddy''s going to stay a while. You can come too if you like."


    "Sure thanks," Maggie said grateful for the chance to get away from this place.


    Annie appeared from the crowd tugging her mother''s arm. "I want to go too."


    "Do you mind?" Aunt Betty asked.


    "No, course not," Patsy said.


    Annie ran to Maggie. For the first time she noticed Annie¡¯s eyes were like Daniel''s, gray green. She slid her sweaty hand into Maggie''s.


    Patsy led them to her blue Mercury. She didn''t look too unhappy. In fact she didn¡¯t look unhappy at all. She was even humming a little under her breath as she started the car. Maggie suspected Patsy only came to the funeral to see Uncle Woody. Grandma Marcy would say that wasn''t a very charitable thought. Still, Patsy seemed awfully pleased and eager to be taking them home. She drove like lightening down the dusty highway.


    The air conditioner''s cold air blew into Maggie''s face. It soothed her hot body. She relaxed against the seat. Annie let go of her hand. The radio blasted out country music.


    Patsy chattered away about Uncle Woody. Maggie glanced back at Don. He rolled his eyes. Earl and Skeeter had their noses pressed against the back window watching the cloud of red dust swirl behind the car.


    Maggie looked at Patsy. She wasn''t Uncle Woody''s type. His wife, Emily, had been quiet and sweet. She had brown hair and wore glasses. After she was killed in a car accident in Arlington, Uncle Woody and the boys moved to the farm. Earl was only four when she died. Maggie was surprised Uncle Woody hadn''t remarried yet. She heard he was dating some lady in Carbon. She guessed Patsy didn''t know, or else she pretended not to.


    "Oh, girl, if things work out like I plan me and you could be real good friends," Patsy said as she turned into the Uncle Woody''s drive.


    Maggie saw John Carl''s truck beside Uncle Woody''s trailer. What would she say to him, what could she say to him? She crushed Daniel''s carnation in her anxious hand.


    When Patsy stopped the car Maggie felt sick. Her empty stomach turned over and quivered. Patsy burst out of the car and practically ran to the front door. It seemed like she was in a real hurry to see Uncle Woody. Annie and the boys were right behind her. Maggie was the last one out of the car. She slammed the door closed. Her palms were sweaty. She brushed her hair back with rigid fingers. A shiver of fear ran through her. What would she say to John Carl when she saw him? What would he say?


    From the front Don, yelled, "Come on slow poke."


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    ¡°I will be there in a minute.¡± Don shrugged and slammed the door closed. Maggie looked at the trailer. Every instinct she had told her to run. Her feelings were so mixed up. She didn¡¯t understand why she was so confused and scared. Tears threatened to surface. She took a deep breath and headed for the door. Her wet fingers wrapped around the hot metal knob. She turned it and went inside.


    The instant John Carl saw her he stood up. Despite the circumstances of the day and the moment, appreciation flashed in his eyes. Maggie realized he thought she looked pretty all dressed up. She blushed and raised shy eyes to him and smiled. He tried to return her smile, but couldn''t quite manage it.


    From the kitchen, Uncle Woody called, ¡°Hey Miss Maggie.¡± He came into the living room followed by Patsy. He whistled when he saw Maggie. "I don''t believe I''ve ever seen you all dressed up, Girl. You look real pretty, don''t she John Carl?"


    Maggie glanced at John Carl. He nodded. She blushed again.


    Pointing at the couch Uncle Woody said, ¡°Sit down you two.¡± In unison, Maggie and John Carl did. The couch tipped a little and bumped against the wall. Uncle Woody crossed the room and plopped his long frame into his brown recliner. With out invitation, Patsy perched herself on the arm of the broken down recliner. Uncle Woody wrinkled his nose a little then shifted himself to the opposite side of the chair. Though Patsy pretended not to notice, Maggie could see the frustration in her eyes. She thought, My quest for John Carl is as hopeless as Patsy''s is for Uncle Woody. She glanced at John Carl. He was so close to her and he was not leaning away, in fact he seemed to be leaning toward her. With another quick glance, she admired his sunburned nose and wonderful square chin.


    Patsy said, "Woody, the funeral was lovely. Too bad you couldn''t be there.¡±


    Maggie saw John Carl tense his jaws. Uncle Woody looked up at Patsy. His eyes said, shut up woman. If Patsy noticed, she pretended not to. She continued, "Tell them Maggie.¡±


    This was something Maggie did not want to do. The funeral was not ¡°lovely¡±. Were funerals ever lovely? Maggie pulled the carnation out of her pocket. She stared at its wilting petals and said, "Uh, Brother Stephens was in good voice," She didn''t exactly know what that meant, but it was what Grandma Marcy always said about preachers.


    "Oh, he was," Patsy agreed. "He said the most comforting things. And he just went on and on about what a good person Daniel was. I''m sure he made Garnet feel better. Don''t you think, Maggie?"


    John Carl stood up. Maggie looked at Uncle Woody. His face was red. She said, "I don''t know."


    Skeeter, Annie and the boys ran into the room from the kitchen. All the boys were dressed in cut offs and T-shirts. Skeeter had his dress clothes in a sandy wad under his arm.


    Earl said, "We wanna go to the house. Ain''t nothing to eat here, Daddy."


    "I''m fixing to go up there myself," John Carl said. He turned to Maggie. "Want to come?" She nodded. The kids ran out the front door and climbed in the back of John Carl''s truck. Maggie waved good bye to Uncle Woody. He raised two fingers to her and rolled his eyes at Patsy.


    Outside, John Carl opened the truck door for Maggie. She sat down. The vinyl seat cover was hot. John Carl got in and started the truck. It roared as he spun out of Uncle Woody''s drive. The kids shrieked in the back.


    "How was the funeral, really?" he asked.


    Maggie tried to clear the lump in her throat. Her voice was raspy when she said, "It was nice, I guess, as funerals go. The music was pretty. Brother Stephens did say some good things about Daniel."


    With fingers gripped tightly around the steering wheel and his eyes staring hard at the drive, John Carl said, "You know what really upsets me?"


    "No."


    "For the past three days all I have heard is how wonderful my brother was. Well, if he was alive, more than half the people who''ve been up to the house would still be calling him a retard or a slow mo behind his back."


    "Corey Jean said the same thing the other day. I never thought of him like that. Daniel was so smart. He remembered things after hearing them only once."


    John Carl nodded. "I know. Mama got some of the teachers to give him oral tests. That''s how he passed high school."


    "The thing he could do that always amazed me the most was how he knew what I was thinking or feeling without me saying a word."


    "Yup. He did the same for me. God, I''m going to miss that." The muscles in John Carl¡¯s jaw relaxed then flexed. His voice was strained when he said, "It''s weird to think he almost didn''t even make it into this world."


    "He was born premature wasn''t he?"


    "Yeah, because Mama was just barely sixteen when she had him. Why that''s only a little more than a year older than you are right now."


    Maggie shuddered. She hadn''t even been kissed yet, except for spin the bottle and that didn¡¯t count.


    John Carl pulled the truck under the oak tree. The kids scrambled out. Skeeter dropped his dress shirt and Don stepped on it. Annie pick it up. The little girl hugged the it to herself and then ran after the boys. John Carl came around and opened Maggie''s door. He offered his hand. She took it. Once again a warm tingling sensation ran all the way up her arm. For a second they stared into each other¡¯s eyes. John Carl seemed to want to say something but was having a hard time getting it out. Finally he managed to say, "You are growing up real¡­fine."


    The compliment pleased Maggie. She smiled up at him. The smile he gave her was strained. Abruptly, he let go of her hand. He took a step away from her. ¡°We best get inside, before the boys tear up the house.¡± He took another step. Maggie didn¡¯t want him to leave her. She wanted his hand back in hers. He walked quickly toward the house and disappeared into the house. Maggie let out a long slow sigh before she followed.


    Inside the boys were greedily piling food on their plates. Annie held a paper plate in one hand and surveyed the food. John Carl asked, ¡°Need some help Annie?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I can¡¯t reach the ham sandwiches in the middle of the table.¡±


    While John Carl helped Annie, Maggie went to change her clothes. She passed through Billy and John Carl''s room. She placed the wilting carnation on John Carl''s chest of drawers.


    .


    <div>


    <div>

 Chapter 8. Tears

    Soon the house was overflowing with hungry, sad people again. Garnet sat in the black vinyl chair and distributed mementos of Daniel. She had given his favorite cowboy shirt to Aunt Betty. She gave Grandma Marcy a recent photo of him. She handed Uncle Woody, Daniel''s stars and stripes bandanna. Maggie sat on the floor watching. She longed for something of his but she didn''t ask for anything.


    Across the room John Carl and Billy eyed each other coldly. Both were busy with guests. Maggie had to get out of the crush. She went outside and ran down the trail to the branch. Corey Jean and Annie were wading around in the water trying to catch minnows with Styrofoam cups.


    When Maggie reached the stream bank, Corey Jean immediately started to talk to her. She said, "I was at the baby-sitter¡¯s today and I saw my boyfriend Brice. He says he''s real sorry about Daniel. I said, ''It isn''t your fault. Why are you sorry?'' He said that''s what he''s supposed to say. So I told him I ''preciate it. Me and Brice''s gonna get married and have seventy hundred kids."


    Annie pulled her empty cup out of the water and looked at her cousin. She said, "There¡¯s no such number as seventy hundred.¡±


    Corey Jean said, ¡°Is too. Right Maggie?"


    "No, I don''t think so."


    "See." Annie said, sticking her tongue out at Corey Jean.


    "Well, anyways," Corey Jean continued, "we''re gonna get married."


    Annie thrust her cup back into the water. As she followed a minnow she said, "I''m gonna marry Skeeter."


    "Oh, yuck." Corey Jean cringed. ¡°When me and Brice---¡±


    Annie cut her off, "Skeeter''s so cute. He''s my boyfriend."


    Maggie was certain Skeeter had no knowledge of this.


    Corey Jean glared at Annie. "Quit interruptin¡¯ me. As I was sayin¡¯, me and Brice is gonna get married and I¡¯m gonna have seventeen bridesmaids.¡± Corey Jean looked up at Maggie and asked, ¡°Know what?"


    "What?"


    "Brenda says I get to be a flower girl when she marries John Carl. I don''t like her much but I want to be a flower girl and wear a pretty long pink dress."


    This bit of information upset Maggie. "What? When are they getting married?"


    "I don''t know. Brenda says Mama was younger than her when she got married, and Mama is real old, so I suspect it could be anytime."


    Annie shook her head. "Nuhun. I heard Mama and Aunt Garnet talking. She said John Carl hasn''t even asked that girl. It''s just Brenda talking."


    Anxiously Maggie asked, "Are you sure?"


    "Yep, I was sitting right there." Annie tossed her dark hair over her shoulders and pushed her cup back under the water.


    Corey Jean shrieked, "A minnow bit me, a minnow bit me." She sloshed out of the water, sat down by Maggie and asked, "Who''s your boyfriend?"


    Maggie hated this question. She hated the answer even more. In a flat voice she admitted, "I don''t have one."


    "Why not?"


    "I just don''t."


    ¡°Don''t you want to get married and have seventy hun-,¡± Corey Jean glanced at Annie and corrected herself, ¡°a bunch of kids?"


    "Yeah, I guess."


    "Well, first you got to have a boyfriend, cause after a while he turns into a husband.¡± The four-year-old studied Maggie and asked in a low voice, ¡°Don''t you want a boyfriend?"


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    Maggie nodded.


    Corey Jean slapped her chubby little leg with her chubby hand and said, "Well, just get one. Lots of John Carl and Billy''s friends is at the house. I can help you pick one out if you want. It''s real easy to get a boyfriend, ain¡¯t it Annie?"


    Annie nodded.


    In an effort to change the subject Maggie asked, "Have you two caught any minnows yet?"


    Corey Jean got up and waded back into the water.


    Maggie rested her chin on her knees as she watched the little girls. Would John Carl really marry Brenda? Did he want to? They were too young to get married.


    Corey Jean jiggled on one foot and said, "I got to pee-pee."


    "Go behind a rock," Annie said.


    "I''m not gonna pee behind no rock. A snake might bite my butt."


    "Come on," Maggie said, getting up. "Let''s go to the house." The little girls splashed out of the water and climbed up the steep bank. Maggie followed. On the way to the house they passed Aunt Betty''s van. Billy was setting on the bumper talking to two girls in matching short outfits. He had an arm slung around each girl. The girls glanced at Maggie but Billy never looked at her.Hurt, Maggie jutted out her chin and walked to the house. The place was still jammed with people. She pushed her way through the crowd and headed for Daniel''s room. Once inside she closed the door.


    In the dining room, the phone rang. She heard Uncle Woody say, "John Carl, it''s Brenda."


    Maggie threw herself down on Daniel¡¯s bed and scrunched her face in Daniel''s pillow. She told herself she was not going to cry. She would never, ever, ever get a boyfriend. All her friends had them. She would never, ever, ever get a real kiss. She was just a kid, she had to be, Billy hadn¡¯t even noticed her. He only noticed goop-faced girls. What would his girlfriend Sally think? He was nothing but a flirt. She smashed her face even deeper into the pillow. It still smelled like Daniel. She threw the pillow away from her and started crying.


    Grandma Marcy came into the room and asked, "What''s a matter child?"


    Maggie looked up at her and said, "Everything."


    Grandma Marcy sat down beside her and gathered her in her arms. Maggie rested her head on her boney shoulder. Her body shook with sobs. "There, there child,¡± Grandma Marcy whispered, ¡°It''s good to cry." Cry was all Maggie could do at the moment.


    When her sobs began to ease, she asked, "Why''d he die Grandma? It is so unfair. Why? I don''t understand."


    In a gentle voice, Grandma Marcy said, "Death has nothing to do with understanding. You can''t. In time you learn to accept it and go on. When my Jed died, I stormed heaven with questions. I ranted, I raved and finally I just turned my back on everything I ever believed. I met Betty''s daddy. We got married, had Betty and somewhere along the way I stopped asking why. It''s all right to ask, honey, and to cry. Still, I think the why of death is something between God and the person He calls home. We aren''t ever gonna understand it this side of heaven." She patted Maggie''s cheek. "Get some rest now. You''re all worn out. I think I''ll take a nap myself." She let go of Maggie and lay down. Maggie snuggled beside her. Grandma Marcy emitted a strength and fearlessness that she needed so much right now. After a while, they both slept.

 Chapter 9. On the Porch

    That evening, the sun set like a big orange ball. There were no clouds to reflect its fading light. Maggie stood in the yard and watched for the first star. The first star appeared filling her with deep sadness. She had a lot of wishes but she was sure none of them would come true. Unable to bear her own company she went inside. From Daniel¡¯s bedroom she heard the voices of Aunt Betty and Grandma Marcy. She went to them.


    Betty stood in front of a small mirror propped on Daniel¡¯s chest of drawers. She had on a tight black dress with skinny straps, black hose and gold pumps. With a tiny brush she was making the most amazing swirls with her gold eye shadow. She said, ¡°Hey girl, I got me a date with one of Woody¡¯s friends. Want me to fix you up.¡±


    From the bed Grandma Marcy growled, ¡°Leave the child be.¡±


    Aunt Betty laughed, ¡°Mama, I meant make up not a man.¡± She held out a tube of lipstick. ¡°Want some?¡± With a glance at Grandma Marcy she added, ¡°This is supposed to make your lips kissably sweet.¡±


    Embarrassed Maggie said, "No, thanks." She didn¡¯t like lipstick. It tasted funny when she had to lick her lips.


    Aunt Betty brushed out her thick curly hair until it glistened. She put a wide gold belt around her thin waist. Maggie could see her thigh muscles move through her tight dress. She glanced at Grandma Marcy. By the twist of her mouth, Maggie could tell she was not pleased. Aunt Betty tossed her thick hair to one side. She pouted her lips and applied a fresh coat of lipstick. Then she kissed a piece of toilet paper. She spun around and asked, "What do you think?"


    What Maggie honestly thought was that Aunt Betty looked like the hooker she''d seen on a TV movie last week. She lied, "Uh, real nice." Grandma Marcy did not say a word but her every feature spoke what she thought.


    ¡°Oh Mama stop making that face.¡± Aunt Betty laughed. Her eyes filled with mischievous light. A horn honked outside. She kissed Grandma Marcy and flew out the door. Grandma Marcy wiped the lipstick kiss off her face and shook her head. "All I can do is pray that girl grows up before Annie does."


    Maggie left Grandma Marcy and went out to join the kids on the front porch. June bugs crashed into the naked porch light bulb. Three boxes of dominos were dumped out on the wooden floor. Don and Skeeter were carefully standing them up in long rows. On the couch, Earl was studying a book of illustrated Bible stories. Bee Bob sat beside him. From time to time, he''d yank his thumb out of his mouth and say, "Turn the page." Annie was on the floor beside Skeeter. She stared at him with rapt intensity. Skeeter didn''t seem to notice, but Corey Jean did and she was jealous. She jumped up and started skipping round the porch.


    Don said, "Cut it out."


    Corey Jean stuck her tongue out and started hopping up and down.


    "Stop it before you knock down our dominos." Don took a swipe at her.


    Corey Jean spun around and glared. "You best not hit me Don Woodrow. You know you¡¯re not supposed to ''cause I''m a,¡± she jumped up to emphasis the word, ¡°girl.¡± She took another bounce and said, ¡°Besides I''m littler than you."


    The dominos trembled on the floor. Annie looked up at Corey Jean and said, ¡°Please stop."


    "No." Corey Jean jutted out her chin. With each word she spoke she accentuated it with a hop. "I can do anything I want to on my OWN front porch." The floor boards rattled as her plump little body bounced up and down. The first domino fell, striking the next one. Corey Jean stopped and stared in wicked fascination as the dominos cascaded on the floor. When the last one fell, Don jumped up and grabbed Corey Jean''s hair. He yanked it hard.


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    She screamed and started to bawl.


    The front door swung open. Bill glared at Don. "Let go of her this minute. What''s a big boy like you doing picking on a little girl?" Don let go. Bill went back inside.


    A slow smile spread across Corey Jean¡¯s face. Triumphantly she said, "See I told you."


    Don glared at her. "You are such a weenie.¡± He plopped down and started to rebuild what Corey Jean had destroyed. He asked Maggie, "Will you help us?"


    She nodded and sat down beside him on the floor.


    *


    At ten thirty and eleven John Carl and Billy returned home from their girlfriend''s houses. Neither of them entered the house through the front porch where Maggie was trying to sleep. Around midnight she finally dozed off, but she didn''t get to sleep long. A strange truck roared into the drive. Maggie sat up and looked out. She saw Aunt Betty stumble out of a truck and slam the door.


    "Thank you for the ride home, Chester." Aunt Betty clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Aunt Betty was drunk. She blew the man a kiss as he pulled out of the drive. Unsteadily, she lurched and stumbled onto the front porch. When she saw Maggie was awake she said, "Hi, kid," and dropped onto the couch right on top of Maggie¡¯s legs. The moon illumined Aunt Betty''s face. Her perfectly applied make-up was now smeared and blotchy. She reeked of booze and cigarettes. She opened her purse and pulled out her cigarette case and lighter. After a few bumbling attempts she finally got the thing lit. She took long slow drags on her cigarette. Maggie''s legs were falling asleep.


    The front door creaked open. Grandma Marcy peered out. Her eyes rested on Aunt Betty. ¡°Betty you promised me.¡±


    Aunt Betty said, "I''m sorry Mama. I know I did.¡± Her voice broke, ¡°I just had to go off and forget."


    Grandma Marcy¡¯s body stiffened. "How many times have I told you, drowning your sorrows in booze only makes them worse later on. Get in here and leave this child alone. You ought to be ashamed." Grandma Marcy had to help Aunt Betty get up off the couch.


    Even though Aunt Betty was inside, the smell of alcohol lingered on the porch. It made Maggie feel queasy. She wiggled her legs trying to get the feeling back into them.


    From the house she heard Grandma Marcy¡¯s muffled voice as she put Aunt Betty to bed. After awhile a heavy silence filled the darkness. Maggie pressed her eyes closed. She tried to will herself to sleep. Minutes, maybe hours passed she didn¡¯t know and still sleep would not come.


    In the stillness she heard a low moan. Next came an awful sound. A sound like she had never heard before. It was the sound of a mother grieving. Maggie crammed her fingers into her ears. Garnet''s tears until now had been silent and controlled. There was no control in the wild, grief stricken sobs that penetrated the wall. Was anyone else awake to hear her? Did they all hear her? Garnet''s shuddering breath tore through Maggie. It scared her. She couldn''t bear it. Garnet went on and on and on.


    Maggie threw off her sheet and went to the end of the sidewalk. She called, "Patches." He appeared from beneath the porch. The old dog''s eyes were liquid in the moonlight. She hugged him to her.


    The vast sky was too big. It would swallow her up. She hid her face in Patches'' coat. She wondered what it was like for Daniel up in heaven. It was pretty awful on earth right now. Did he know? Did he care? Did God? Patches whined deep in his throat.

 Chapter 10. Storm

    The atmosphere inside the house was subdued. Aunt Betty lay sprawled on the fold out couch. The boys were already at the table plowing through a mound of scrambled eggs and bacon. John Carl and Uncle Woody had gone back to work. Corey Jean and Annie played baby dolls on the floor. Corey Jean looked up at Maggie when she sat down at the table. She asked, "Want to play? We''ll let you be the grandma."


    "No, thanks." Maggie said. She blinked hard, her eyes felt like they had been ground in sand. She stared at the food on the table. She picked up a piece of toast and bit into it. It stuck in her throat. She wasn¡¯t hungry. She got up and headed for Daniel¡¯s room to change her clothes. As she passed through Billy and John Carl¡¯s room, Billy who was propped up in his bed reading a magazine, grabbed for her. His hands went around her waist. He said, ¡°I got you,¡± and pulled her onto his bed. He started tickling her.


    Maggie squirmed in his grasp. "Billy, you stop tickling me. You know I hate to be tickled."


    He laughed, pulled her closer and whispered, "I know," in her ear.


    Maggie''s face brushed against Billy''s cheek. She looked up at him. His face was so close to hers. She could feel his breath. Mischief flashed in his eyes. He was going to kiss her. She hadn¡¯t brushed her teeth yet. He cupped her chin with his hand and brought her face closer to his. Never had he tried this before. A frightening thought jumped in her brain, what if Daddy caught her in Billy''s bed being kissed in her pajamas? She jerked her chin free and spun out of his arms. Billy made a swipe at her rear as she got out of bed, but he missed. Maggie crossed the floor to Daniel''s room and slammed the door. She heard Billy laugh on the other side.


    Confused, Maggie sat down on Daniel¡¯s bed. What was with Billy? One time he ignored her and the next he tried to kiss her. She didn¡¯t know how to act around him any more. She used to know. She used to always know.


    Through the door Billy asked, ¡°What are you doing in there?¡±


    She didn¡¯t answer. She took her paper bag of clothes and went into Daniel¡¯s closet to change because she was worried Billy would hear her changing. The closet was little and Maggie bumped her elbow against the wall. It made a loud thump. She zipped up her shorts. The sound it made seemed too loud in her ears. Had Billy heard? When she was done she went to bedroom door and listened. Was Billy still there? She opened the door just a crack to see. He was still in bed. With a quick jerk she opened the door and ran passed Billy. When she was safely out of arm range she asked, "You staying in bed all day?"


    He snickered and said, ¡°Only if you join me.¡±


    Maggie¡¯s mouth flew open. Hot embarrassment flushed her face. How dare he! He just laughed. Angry and insulted, Maggie said, ¡°That was not funny.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes it was.¡± He winked at her.


    Disgusted with him Maggie went to the dining room. Grandma Marcy was putting fresh scrambled eggs on the table. She said, ¡°Try these, they¡¯re still hot. You need to eat girl.¡±


    Obediently, Maggie pulled an empty paper plate off the stack and shoveled some of the steaming eggs onto it. Grandma Marcy patted her shoulder and poured Maggie a glass of orange juice. She cleared her throat, before she asked, ¡°Did you sleep okay honey?¡±


    Maggie nodded. She wondered if a nod counted as a lie.


    Grandma Marcy sighed and said, "I''m sorry about Betty last night.¡± She turned and went back into the kitchen.


    The food had no flavor. Grandma Marcy kept checking on her to make sure she was eating her eggs. Aunt Betty came into the dining room and eased herself into the chair beside Maggie. She folded her arms and leaned her head on the table. In a hoarse voice she said, "Oh God, what a night."


    Grandma Marcy marched into the room waving her spatula, "I don''t want you talking about what kind of night you had in front of Maggie. You hear?"


    "Yes, Mama."


    Maggie could feel the tension between Aunt Betty and Grandma Marcy. Aunt Betty groaned as her mother put a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her. Maggie took her glass of orange juice and went out the back door.


    Chickens peacefully scratched the ground. Maggie sat down on the step to sip her orange juice. She thought, It might be nice to be a chicken. They didn''t have trouble sleeping or stupid feelings. They scratched, they squawked, they slept.


    *


    After lunch Grandma Marcy, Aunt Betty and Annie left. Maggie watched the van lurch down the drive. Her cheek was damp from Grandma Marcy''s kiss. She didn''t want her to leave.


    Corey Jean stood holding her mother''s hand sobbing. "I don''t have nobody to play with but dumb old boys. Nobody but dumb old boys."


    Garnet looked at Maggie. Her face was ashen in the afternoon light. In a quavering voice she asked, "Could you take her? I can''t deal with this right now."


    With effort, Maggie pried Corey Jean''s hand out of Garnet''s. "Come on, I''ll read you a story." Corey Jean followed her inside. Maggie picked The Princess and the Pea from the shelf and sat down on the couch. Corey Jean usually liked this story. The four-year-old scooted onto the couch beside her and leaned her head against Maggie¡¯s arm. Her face was still wet with tears. Her little lip trembled as she said, ¡°I didn¡¯t want Annie to go.¡±


    "Annie will come visit you again."


    Corey Jean shook her head. "Nuhun, you don¡¯t know that for sure. She might die too, then I''d never see her again like I''m never gonna see Daniel again."


    In an effort to comfort her Maggie said, "Oh, you''ll see him again."


    "Not until I''m dead too. Maggie I don''t want to die." Corey Jean flung her arms around her and buried her face in her shoulder.


    "Sweetie you''re not going to die till you''re a real old lady."


    Angrily Corey Jean said, "You don''t know that either."


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.Maggie held the child tightly against her. Corey Jean was right, she didn¡¯t know.


    *


    Around six a big thunderstorm blew up. The air quaked with thunder. Corey Jean sat wide-eyed and frightened in her mother''s lap. With each crash she trembled. Skeeter and Uncle Woody''s boys had their noses pressed up against the living room window.


    "Wow, did you see that one?" Skeeter asked.


    Don said, "Sure did. That was the biggest jag of lightening I ever saw. You think we could find the burned spot tomorrow?"


    Skeeter shrugged. "It''d be awful far away. After lightening strikes you count till you hear thunder. The number you count is the amount of miles away the lightening struck. Isn''t that right, Maggie?"


    "That''s what my science book says." Maggie was sitting on the fireplace. John Carl was on the couch near her. Maggie kept sneaking glances at him. He looked good, even in his greasy work cap.


    He caught her eye and smiled at her. He said, "I think I''m going to stay home tonight."


    Surprised, Garnet asked, "You are?"


    With his eyes still on Maggie he said, "Yes. I think I like the company here better."


    Maggie felt herself blush. Did he expect her to respond? She needed to say something. What? Finally she blurted out, "Do you think all this rain will make the branch rise?"


    He winked at her before he answered. "Yep. I''m going to have a heck of a time getting my truck out in the morning."


    Corey Jean whined, ¡°I wish it would stop.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be wishing that Honey, we need the rain,¡± Garnet said. ¡°Maggie would you bring me a coke?¡±


    Reluctant to leave the near vicinity of John Carl, Maggie got up, went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. John Carl followed her. The nearness of him made her heart feel funny. She grabbed a coke. John Carl set his tea glass on the counter then took a step closer to her. In a low voice he said, "I guess you''re going to be sleeping inside tonight."


    "Yeah, but I don''t want to."


    "Why?"


    Maggie forced herself to meet his eyes. She had to be sure he really wanted to know before she confessed her fear. His eyes met hers. A strange and unfamiliar something twanged inside of her. Would he understand? She whispered, ¡°Because, I don''t want to sleep in Daniel''s room with my parents."


    "You could sleep with Skeeter," he suggested.


    "No thanks." Maggie lowered her eyes. "Nobody knows this except me, sometimes Skeeter pees in bed. Not very often any more, but it''s real embarrassing, so I don''t tell Mama." She felt John Carl touch her hair. He ran his forefinger down her nose, over her lips and tilted up her chin. Maggie met his gaze. Her heart was banging in her ears. He had that look in his eye, so similar to the look Billie had given her just that morning.


    In a gentle voice he said, "I won''t tell anyone about Skeeter."


    The phone rang. Even before Bill spoke Maggie knew who it was. Bill called out from the dining room. "John Carl, it''s Brenda."


    John Carl turned away from her. Maggie watched him go to the phone. The receiver had a long cord. He took it into his dark bedroom.


    What is Brenda, psychic or something? Maggie thought. She went back into the living room, handed Garnet her coke, and sat down beside her. Corey Jean slid into Maggie¡¯s lap and relaxed against her.


    Uncle Woody, perched in the black vinyl chair, took a sip of his tea. He winked at Maggie. She wanted to wink back but she was too shy. She felt herself blushing again.


    "Maggie girl,¡± he said, ¡°did I ever tell you about the time Daniel was sleep walking up at my trailer?"


    Maggie shook her head.


    "Well, I never will forget that night. I was sound asleep. Then I hear this strange thud, thud. Somebody was walking around in the front room. I''m thinking where''s my gun? Can''t let nobody hurt my boys. I jump out of bed. Suddenly, Daniel walks in. He''s decked out in his boots and cowboy hat but he don''t got nothing else on but his drawers. He mumbles, ''Uncle Woody where''s my banana?''


    "I said, ¡°What?''


    "''Where''s my banana?''


    "''Your banana?''


    "''Yeah, it''s the red one.''


    "I said, ''Boy, bananas ain''t red.''


    "He said, ''Yeah, they are. They can be purple or blue or any color.''


    "''Only bananas I ever seen was yellow.''


    "''They can be yellow too,'' he says. Then he clomped out of the room. I hear him take off his boots and lay back down on the couch. After a while I heard him snoring. Now Miss Maggie, what do you suppose Daniel was talking about?"


    She thought for a moment then she knew. "He wanted a bandanna not a banana."


    "Smart girl," Uncle Woody said.


    John Carl came back into the room and sat down on the fireplace. Uncle Woody glanced at Maggie then asked, "That girlfriend of yours isn''t feeling long winded tonight?"


    "I told her we have company."


    Sarcastically Billy said, "We''ve had company for days.¡±


    John Carl glared at him.


    Tension, the ever present tension, filled the room. Uncle Woody looked uneasily from one brother to the other.


    Outside, lightening illumined the dark night. The electricity flickered.


    Corey Jean squealed.


    The lights came back on.


    Nervously Bill asked, ¡°Woody, why don¡¯t you tell us another story?¡±


    "Well, now," Uncle Woody said, "does anyone remember that pig of Daniel''s that wouldn''t grow until his tail got bit off by that dog?"


    Every one nodded except Corey Jean. She said, ¡°Tell me Uncle Woody, I must of not been borned yet.¡±


    *


    The moon made rectangles of white light on the walls. The rain had stopped. On the floor in Daniel¡¯s room Maggie had her sleeping bag pulled up to her chin. She had asked to go out to the porch, but Mama said it was too wet. Her entire body was stiff, because of Daddy. If she moved, he would say, "Be still." He didn''t tolerate any movement or noise from anyone when he was trying to go to sleep. That included Mama.


    She wanted to read, but Daddy didn¡¯t tolerate flashlights either. Daddy didn¡¯t tolerate much, the big baby.

 Chapter 11. The Cattle Tank

    "Maggie, you awake?" Skeeter asked.


    She rolled over and squinted up at Daniel''s digital clock. It was three a.m. She whispered, "Did you sixteen?" Sixteen was their code word for wetting the bed.


    "No."


    Maggie got up and followed Skeeter into the living room. "What''s wrong?"


    "I¡¯m scared. Will you sleep with me?"


    "Yeah, but go to the bathroom first."


    "Gees Maggie, I haven''t had a sixteen in two months."


    "If you want me to sleep with you, you will go pee."


    "Okay, but stand outside the door and wait for me." As they walked through the dark kitchen, Skeeter put his hand in hers. It was sweaty. She flipped on the bathroom light for him and then closed the door. He did too have to pee. A lot.


    When they got back on the couch Skeeter snuggled up against her. It had been a long time since he had done that. He whispered, "Maggie, me and Don went to the cattle tank."


    Unexpected fear tore through Maggie. She scolded, "You didn¡¯t take Earl and Bee Bob did you?¡±


    Skeeter shook his head. ¡°Course not. They¡¯re too little.¡±


    ¡°You know Daddy told us not to go anywhere near that place. Its¡¯ dangerous. Don¡¯t go there alone again."


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t alone. I was with Don.¡±


    ¡°You know what I mean.¡± She paused then asked, ¡°Did you see anything?¡±


    "We saw a lot of footprints on the bank and tracks where the ambulance came. There was two dents in the mud that looked like two knees¡­and a place where it looked like a body had been laying." Skeeter started to shake.


    Maggie was glad she hadn¡¯t seen that. She wrapped one arm around Skeeter and asked, "How about I tell the flying mouse story?"


    "Yeah, I like that one."


    Maggie launched into a complicated tale about an ornery mouse with wings. Ten minutes into the story Skeeter fell asleep.


    *


    After breakfast Uncle Woody''s boys came by for Skeeter. Don said, ¡°Man you should see the branch. Its like Grand Canyon Rapids, the waters going so fast.¡±


    Maggie followed the boys to the branch. She wanted to see the water too. The boys beat her to their swimming hole. When she got there they stood in a dejected half circle looking at their dam.


    Earl shook his head. "Oh, man."


    Bee Bob pulled his thumb out of his mouth and said, "The dam thing''s busted."


    "Uhmmmm.¡± Earl frowned at his little brother and wagged his finger. ¡°You shouldn''t say cuss words.¡±


    "Well what else do you call a dam?" Bee Bob asked.


    Don shouted, "The boy has a point."


    Skeeter looked from the water to the broken dam. "We aren''t going to be able to fix it today. The water is moving too fast." The others nodded in agreement.


    Don looked at Skeeter, then he grinned. He yelled, "Geranimo!" and plunged into the branch. Water shot into the air and some splashed Maggie in the face. It was cold and hit her like a smack in the face.


    *


    After what she said to Skeeter earlier that morning, she shouldn¡¯t be doing this, but she felt driven. She sat down on a rock and yanked off her shoes. Cautiously she looked up and down the drive. No one was in sight. She stepped into the cold stream. The water swirled around her bare feet. She headed up stream toward the tank. The water was muddy in some places, all stirred up by the storm. She turned down the dry bed. This morning it was filled with shallow rushing clear water. She crested the bank of the branch.


    Like a clear glass plate the cattle tank reflected the afternoon sun. Not even a week ago, Daniel had stood here. Looked at this water, then dove into its depths. Slowly she approached the water¡¯s edge. Last night''s rain had obliterated all signs of struggle along the bank. What Skeeter had seen, was gone. The earth was soft, squishy and pliable. Something inside of her suddenly wanted to jump into the cold muddy water. She took a step closer.


    A voice behind her asked, ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    Startled she turned. It was Billy. His entire body was taunt. His eyes dark and hard. ¡°You need to get away from there Maggie. You shouldn¡¯t be here alone.¡±


    It was true. She shouldn¡¯t be, but she was.


    In a flat voice he said, ¡°We best get back to the house.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Maggie stepped away from the bank, but Billy remained rooted. His eyes transfixed by the water. In words so low Maggie could barely hear them, he said, "When Daniel dove in he came up sputtering. I thought he was just fooling around. Hell, he taught me to swim. I yelled, ''Aw cut it out. You aren''t drowning.'' But he was Maggie." Billy reached for her hand. It was cold and she could feel his pulse beating in his palm.


    With his eyes still on the tank, he continued, "I keep thinkin¡¯ if only I''d dived in sooner. If only I''d gotten there quicker. Maybe. When I reached him he was crazy, thrashin¡¯ around and pullin¡¯ me down with him. I couldn''t make him stop. He got away from me. I shot up for air. I went back down and he had disappeared. I dove and I dove but I couldn''t find him."


    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it."


    Where was he?" Maggie asked.


    "A paramedic found him down on the bottom in the mud. The thing that puzzles me most is that the water he first dove into is only six feet deep. If he stood on his tip toes he could''ve breathed." Billy looked at Maggie. There weren''t any tears in his eyes, but they were red and wide. His pupils were large.


    She whispered, "Billy you did your best. I''m sure Daniel knows that."


    "It don''t matter none. I still failed him"


    "I''m sure he doesn''t think that," she said.


    "


    How do you know what he thinks?" His eyes narrowed.


    Maggie looked at her muddy feet. "I don''t, but I know Daniel. He loves you. He wouldn''t be mad at you. You tried."


    Billy didn''t respond.


    She tugged at his hand. "Let''s get away from here."


    *


    *


    Maggie sighed and sat down on the front step beside Patches. She had come outside for a few minutes to herself before Mama and Garnet went into town. Garnet had asked her to watch the Terror while she was gone. Corey Jean was making Maggie crazy. The child never shut up.


    A motor roared in the drive. It was John Carl''s truck. She hadn''t expected him home. Warmth spread through her body and she realized she was smiling. As he neared the house, Maggie saw Brenda was with him. Warmth and smile, gone. Patches stood up and wagged his tail. Maggie started stroking him as if she were oblivious to John Carl and Brenda. She pretended not to hear the truck stop. Maggie kept her eyes on Patches, but she knew they were coming toward her. Why? John Carl always went in the back door. Why change now?


    "Hi, Maggie," John Carl said smiling down at her.


    ¡°Hi," she mumbled looking up. Brenda was dressed in tight faded jeans and a powder blue T-shirt. Her cleavage showed.


    "Brenda this is Maggie," John Carl said. "Maggie, Brenda."


    "Hi," they said in unison. Brenda wrinkled her nose at Patches.


    Maggie got up so they could pass. After the screen door slammed she looked ruefully at her own chest and sighed.


    Corey Jean came bounding out of the house and crashed into the screen door. "I been looking for you," she said as she slammed the screen door with vengeance. "That old Brenda is here." She plopped down beside Maggie. "She comes over here and hogs John Carl. He don''t pay no attention to me. And every time I say something she says, ''Such a funny child.'' I''m not funny. John Carl and her babysitted me once. It was awful. She kept saying, ''Stop, don''t do that.¡¯ John Carl kept telling me to shut up because he couldn''t hear the TV. I forgived John Carl but I''m never gonna forgive old Brenda. She''s such a funny child." Corey Jean rolled her eyes.


    Garnet called from the front door, "Corey Jean it''s nap time."


    Corey Jean spun around and looked defiantly at her mother. "I''m not taking no nap." She placed her pink hands on her hips. "I heard you say you was going shopping when I took my nap. Well, I''m not taking no nap and I am going with you."


    "No you are not."


    "Yes I am," she yelled back.


    Garnet strode across the porch, banged open the screen door and snatched up Corey Jean. Maggie followed them inside.


    From Garnet¡¯s bedroom Corey Jean yelled, "I told you I ain¡¯t taking no nap."


    Garnet came out of her room. Her smile was weary. She kissed Maggie on the forehead. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Sit with her a while and maybe she will go to sleep.¡±


    Maggie nodded. She went into the bedroom. Corey Jean lay on her cot next to the wall. Her little face was twisted into an ugly grimace.


    Maggie flopped down on Garnet and Bill''s double bed.


    Corey Jean shouted, "God, I hope John Carl don''t marry Brenda."


    "Shh, Corey Jean not so loud. They¡¯ll hear you. Besides, you know your Mama don''t like you to swear."


    Corey Jean scowled at the ceiling. "Oh, poot. I¡¯m not swearing. I¡¯m praying. I want Brenda to hear me too. Sides, saying God isn''t swearing. And anyways, why can''t I say swear words? Daddy, Billy and John Carl says them all the time and they don''t get spanked. I say one thing and I get popped. Isn''t fair. Seems to me big peoples spend all their time trying to get us little peoples not to do what they do. I think that''s stupid.¡± Corey Jean rolled over and looked at Maggie. In a loud voice she said, ¡°If John Carl does marry that old girl, I''m going to be real mean to their kids."


    "Corey Jean, hush up and go to sleep." Maggie wanted to get out of there. She wanted to know what John Carl and Brenda were doing. She wanted to see how John Carl looked at Brenda.


    The four year old yawned and said, "I''m not sleepy. I hate naps. When I go to school I won''t have to take naps no more. Earl says you don''t take naps in first grade. When I get kids I won''t never make them take naps. And I''ll take them shopping ever time I go."


    If Corey Jean''s kids were like her, Maggie doubted they would get to go anywhere.

 Chapter 12. For the Love of Billy

    <div>


    <div>


    <section>


    On tip toe Maggie crept out of the bedroom. All the men, John Carl and Billy were in the dining room. She peeked through the door. Brenda sat at the table arm wrestling with Uncle Woody. Oh, sure, she thought, you can really beat him. Brenda''s arm hit the table with a thwack. Maggie leaned against the door jam. All the males were entranced by Brenda. Billy, Daddy, Uncle Woody and Bill were all smirking and jabbing each other.


    Brenda pouted, "You shouldn''t pick on me like that Woody. After all I''m just a girl."


    Maggie rolled her eyes. What a stupid thing to say. She looked at John Carl. She met his eyes and wrinkled her forehead as if to say, so this is who you''ve been spending so much time with.


    Brenda said, "Let''s go outside and I''ll show you what I learned in my judo class. I took it for self-protection." She stood and swiveled out the back door. The men fell behind her. Maggie tagged along to see if Brenda really did know judo. She also wanted to find out what was so fascinating about the girl. She sat down on the back step.


    "I bet you can''t throw me," Billy said taking a lunge at Brenda.


    he caught him by the arm and threw him down.


    Uncle Woody snickered. "Ha, you got thrown by a girl."


    Brenda approached Uncle Woody. She grabbed him and flipped him.


    Billy laughed, "I can''t believe you got thrown by a girl."


    "I''m going to flip you next, John Carl," she said. Brenda started after him. She didn''t see Patches'' water bowl. Maggie did. Brenda stepped in it. The bowl tipped, water flew into the air and soaked the front of Brenda¡¯s shirt. Maggie thought it was really funny until he saw how the men were looking at Brenda in her wet T-shirt. They were so stupid.


    From the shaded side of the house Maggie could heard the boys voices. She got up and walked around the house. No one noticed her leave. Beneath the air conditioner, an intricate road way had been traced in the sand. The boys were pushing cars and wrecking cars. The air conditioner jolted on and roared overhead. Earl shouted, ¡°In coming jet.¡± Maggie sat down beside Don, the sand was cool and damp. She and picked up a little blue truck.


    Don swiped it out of her hand. Angrily he said, "That''s my best truck. And you can''t have it." He cocked his head sideways and said, "Besides, you''re too big to be playing cars. You''re supposed to be off kissing." He made a long series of kissing noises, "Your boyfriend."


    "Aw leave her alone," Skeeter told him. "Maggie don''t have a boyfriend. She''s not that stupid," he paused then added, "yet."


    Earl handed Maggie one of his cars and smiled. She took it from him and patted his cheek. He was always so sweet. Everyone said he took after his Mama.


    Bee Bob confiscated all his cars and sat down in Maggie''s lap. He leaned against her. She stroked his hair while he ran his cars up and down her shoes.


    Half an hour or more passed.


    The back screen door slammed closed. Maggie heard Brenda call out, "We''ll see you later." Maggie wanted to hide.


    When John Carl and Brenda passed by, Brenda looked over her shoulder and smirked. In an amused voice she said, "Why John Carl I thought you told me she was fourteen. By the time I was fourteen, I''d quit playing with little boys."


    Bee Bob stood up and said, "That''s just cause little boys don''t like to play with you."


    Don said, "The boy has a point."


    Brenda frowned at Don. She headed for John Carl''s truck.


    John Carl looked at Maggie. He smiled apologetically. Maggie didn''t smile back. She knew she wouldn''t see him for the rest of the day.


    After they drove away, Maggie got up and went inside to check on Corey Jean. The child was still sleeping. Her curls stuck out at crazy angles around her face. Maggie flopped down on Garnet and Bill''s bed. She rolled over and stared out the window.


    What is it about that Brenda? What does she have that I don''t? Aunt Betty had it too. Men didn''t look at Maggie the way they looked at Aunt Betty and Brenda. Whatever it was, they must have been born with it and she had been born without it.


    Waking up, Corey Jean asked in a groggy voice, "Is that old girl gone?"


    Maggie nodded.


    "Good," she said.


    *


    It was late evening. Maggie sat on the couch by Billy doing a crossword puzzle. "What''s a nine letter word for obnoxious?" she asked.


    Billy grinned and said, "Corey Jean."


    "That''s two words."


    Corey Jean looked up from her coloring book and asked, "Huh?"


    The adults were in the dining room playing cards. Garnet''s voice rose above the rest, "No, Bill. It was his time. Nothing nobody could have done would have stopped it from happening."


    Maggie heard a chair scrape across the linoleum. Then Bill shouted, "You are wrong. This could have been prevented."


    Billy sat straight up, his body tensed.


    Lowering her voice, Garnet replied, "It says in the Bible our days are numbered."


    Though Bill didn¡¯t shout this time, his voice was still angry. "It also says King Solomon had a thousand wives. You don''t see me going out and getting a few more. Right now the one I got is about all I can handle." Maggie saw Bill walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door. "Billy, we''re out of Cokes. Go get some."


    Billy turned to Maggie and whispered, "Will you come with me?"


    "Yeah, if Daddy will let me."


    They went into the dining room. Maggie asked, "Daddy can I go too?"


    Daddy looked her up and down a second before he said, "I guess.¡± He then squinted at Billy and said, ¡°Boy, you come straight back."


    Billy said, "Yes sir."


    Maggie was embarrassed by her father¡¯s attitude. Billy didn¡¯t seem to notice.


    Billy went to his car. Maggie opened the door and slid onto the seat. He turned the key and pushed down the gas pedal. Nothing. After a several tries it finally started. When it did, Billy turned on the radio and roared down the drive. Overhead, the stars were just coming out. Maggie watched them twinkle into the sky, one by one. The night air moved through the open car. Maggie wanted to stick her head out the window and feel the wind rushing through her hair. The headlights bobbed crazily. The road was still slick in some places from the rain. When they entered town, Billy waved or honked at every car. He knew everybody. Back home, Maggie didn''t even know all the people on her block, much less the whole city.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    In the drive of a white frame house was John Carl''s truck. He pointed and said, "That''s were Brenda lives."


    Maggie didn¡¯t respond. A block later, Billy pulled his car into the convenience store parking lot. He hopped out. "This''ll just take a second."Maggie sat alone under the parking lot lights. Loud music drifted from passing cars. She wondered what John Carl and Brenda were doing. No she didn¡¯t.


    When Billy came out he slung two six packs of cokes through the open window onto the back seat. He fired up his car, which started on the second try, and spun out of the parking lot. Maggie crashed against him. He grinned and said, "Hold on girl."


    Maggie righted herself and tried to put on her seat belt. It was busted. Billy laughed. When they passed Brenda''s house, Maggie strained to see in the windows. The house was completely dark except for a square of blue light that must be the TV. She couldn''t see anything.


    "Don''t waste your time on John Carl, Maggie.¡±


    "Why not?"


    Billy lit up a cigarette, then said, ¡°Brenda¡¯s got him fast. He¡¯s not going anywhere.¡±


    Maggie looked at Billy. The dull orange glow of the ash illumined his face. He looked tired. Maggie noticed deep lines around his mouth and under his eyes. She leaned toward him and asked, "Are you all right?"


    "Yeah, it just hurts when I breath.¡± He thumped his chest. ¡°I feel like this sometimes.¡± His voice shook, ¡°It''s like the water is still rushing in and I can''t get any air."


    Maggie reached for his hand. Billy grabbed it and pulled her close beside him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, then tugged the cigarette from his lips. In a gentle voice she said, "This isn''t doing you any good."


    Billy took the cigarette from her and tossed it out the window. He flipped off the radio and asked, "Who do you think is right about Daniel dying, my mama or my daddy?"


    Honestly, Maggie didn¡¯t know. He wanted an answer. She could feel his ribs heaving in and out as he struggled for breath beside her. What to say, she had to say something. She stammered, "I don''t know." She felt his body stiffen beside her. Then words came to her, she said, "Seems like thinking one way helps your mama, and thinking the other way helps your daddy."


    Billy sighed. "Neither way helps me. Daniel was too young to die. I heard some stupid woman at the funeral say, ''Daniel was just too good for this earth.'' What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"


    "I heard a lot of weird stuff too. My mama thinks this happened for a reason, but I can''t see no reason in Daniel dying. It''s crazy."


    Billy griped the steering wheel with one hand and held onto Maggie with the other. "Why did God let this happen?"


    "I wish I knew," Maggie said.


    "Makes me wonder if He even exists." Billy''s voice was hard.


    Maggie whispered, "I hope He does because I want to see Daniel again."


    ¡°Do you think Daniel can see us?"


    "I don''t know. Mama says he can."


    "I miss my big brother."


    "I know." Maggie stroked his cheek. It was wet.


    Billy went on, "I''m afraid John Carl and I might kill each other without Daniel to stop our fights. He had to pull us apart more times than I care to remember."


    "Why can''t you two get along?" Maggie asked.


    Billy shrugged his shoulders.


    They rode the rest of the way home in silence.


    When they pulled up behind the house Maggie whispered, "Billy, I love you."


    "I know," he said and he wrapped his arms around her. For a moment they clung to one another in the darkness. "I love you too."


    He kissed her cheek. "Will you take these Cokes in. I''m not up to going back inside. Tell Mama I''ll be back before it gets too late. I''m gonna go see Sally."


    "Okay." Maggie slid out of the car. "You be careful."


    He smiled up at her. "I will."


    Maggie hugged the six packs against her. She watched Billy''s car slip into the darkness.


    *


    Thick fog. Maggie struggled against it. She screamed. A hand gripped her shoulder. The fog disappeared. She felt the couch beneath her. It was only a nightmare. Patches thumped his tail on the floor beside her, and then she felt the pressure of someone¡¯s hand on her shoulder. She gasped, "Aah," and sat straight up. Her eyes flew open. It was John Carl.


    "Oh, I''m sorry," he said. "I didn''t mean to scare you." He let go of her shoulder.


    Maggie squinted at him. "What are you doing?"


    "I was on my way into the house and I heard you talking in your sleep. I thought I better check on you."


    "I was having a terrible dream."


    He sat down on the arm of the couch and said, "I''ve been having some myself. The other night when I woke up from one I saw you sitting in the moonlight with Patches. You looked like you were crying.¡±


    Maggie glanced up at him. It was too dark to read his expression. She whispered, "You saw me?"


    He nodded. "Yeah, I wanted to come outside, but I didn''t think your daddy would like that."


    "Nope, he wouldn''t. Skeeter says if I ever get a boyfriend with Daddy around, it will be a miracle." Maggie dropped her eyes. Sudden embarrassment flushed though her. She thought God why did I say that?


    John Carl asked, "You okay, now?¡±


    Maggie nodded.


    He got up off the couch and said, ¡°Guess I better let you get back to sleep. Night Maggie.¡±


    "Night, John Carl.¡±


    He touched her cheek and walked quietly into the house. Maggie felt a silly smile spread across her face. For the first time in her life, a nightmare, had turned out to be a good thing.


    </section>


    <div>

 Chapter 13. Asked Out?

    It was morning. She needed to go inside, but couldn¡¯t. Maggie felt a sob rise in her throat. She tried to hold the tears back but they would not stay. Quickly, she got up and crossed the porch. No one must see her cry. The screen door creaked a little when she opened it. Patches woke up and followed her out the door. As soon as she got to the drive, she ran. The trail to the branch was damp. The sand clung to her bare feet. After she climbed down the steep bank, she sat down on her favorite rock and pulled her knees under her chin. Awful sobs came from her stomach and erupted in her vocal cords. The sobs hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. Her wild grief frightened her. Eternal minutes passed. Her chest ached, her eyes burned. She didn¡¯t want to feel this. She wanted it to go away. Slowly her cries lessened in intensity. When they stopped all together she felt spent.


    The August wind blew through the branch and wrapped itself around her then went on its way. The peace that comes after tears of grief settled over her. In that moment Daniel felt very near to her. It was as if he placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "It''s okay, Maggie."


    Patches, of whom she had been totally unaware, gently licked her cheek. She leaned over and whispered, "I''m okay boy. Thanks for coming with me." The dog thumped his tail. He seemed relieved.


    For several minutes Maggie sat and stared at the shallow water as it flowed passed. Then, she scrubbed her eyes with the hem of her nightgown to remove all traces of her tears. When she felt calmer, she stood and made her way back up the trail. She heard a rumble, John Carl''s truck was coming down the drive. He stopped the truck when he saw her. She walked over to him and placed her hands on the rim of his open window.


    "Morning," he said.


    "Hi."


    He squinted at her and asked, "Have you been crying?"


    Maggie ducked her head. She hadn¡¯t waited long enough, her eyes must still be red. She felt John Carl put his hand over hers. She looked up at him.


    "Are you okay, now?" he asked.


    "Yeah,¡± she lied.


    He squeezed her hand. ¡°I hate the thought of you crying all by yourself. Come get me next time, okay?"


    She said, "Okay," even though she knew she would never have the guts to do it.


    John Carl looked down the drive. In a tired voice he said, "Well, I best be getting on to work now.¡± He pulled his hand away from hers and placed it back on the steering wheel. Maggie let go of his truck. He smiled at her and said, ¡°I¡¯m coming home for lunch.¡±


    The question leapt out of Maggie¡¯s mouth before she could stop it, "Is Brenda coming?"


    He shook his head. "No, she don''t like it here much."


    "I love it here."


    "I know you do. See you at lunch." John Carl waved.


    Maggie watched his truck until it disappeared down the road.


    Garnet and Maggie''s mother were on the front porch talking when she got to the house. She heard Garnet say, "I''m worried about my boys. Billy''s so angry. He''s angry with Daniel for dying, he''s angry with himself for not being able to save him and he''s mad at John Carl for not being able to help. Then there''s John Carl. He won''t talk. He won''t even---" Garnet looked up and saw Maggie.


    "Morning, young lady."


    "Morning Garnet, morning Mama."


    "Maggie Alecia Peters what are you doing running around in you night shirt?" her mother asked.


    "I just went for a walk Mama. Patches was with me. Nobody saw me."


    "Except John Carl," her mother corrected her. "You are too big to be running around like that.¡±


    Maggie didn¡¯t say anything, but she thought, Seems I¡¯m getting too big to do a lot of things.


    *


    When Maggie finished her shower she found Corey Jean propped up in Billy''s bed with a big pile of story books. "Sit down," she said. Maggie obeyed. Corey Jean snuggled up beside her. "Now," she said opening a book with a chicken on the cover. "Once upon a time there was this little chicken named Dolores. She wore ruby slippers. Everywhere she went she said, ''There''s no place like home.'' All the other animals said, ¡°Then go home.'' So, she did."


    Maggie looked at the book. "That''s not what it says."


    Corey Jean rolled her eyes. "Well, how am I supposed to know what it says when I can''t read yet? You think I''ll ever be able to read?"


    "Sure, why do you ask?"


    "Daniel never learned to read so good. He used to make up words to go with the pictures. His stories was better than the books though." Corey Jean sighed.


    "I know, he used to do the same for me when I was your age."


    "Maggie, you think animals go to heaven?"


    "I think so. Uncle Woody''s dog, Barney, might be up there playing fetch with Daniel."


    "Nuhun," Corey Jean said shaking her head.


    "Why not?"


    Corey Jean rolled her eyes. "Barney didn''t go to heaven ¡®cause he chased chickens."


    "Oh," Maggie said.


    "I bet Patches will go to heaven though. Don''t you think?" Corey Jean asked.


    "Yes. He''s a good dog."


    "Read me this one." Corey Jean handed her a battered copy of the Ugly Duckling. "This one was Daniel''s when he''s little like me."


    *


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    At noon John Carl came home for lunch. Maggie was waiting for him by the oak tree. When he got out of his truck he handed her some sympathy cards from work. "Would you take these in to Mama? I need to ask your daddy something."


    "Sure," she said.


    A few minutes later, John Carl came into the house. Maggie was at the table picking at her sandwich. He sat down beside her and asked, "Have you ever been to a drive-in movie?"


    Maggie shook her head.


    "How''d you like to go to one with me tonight?"


    Was he asking her for a date? Would Daddy let her go? No. But maybe by some miracle. She stuttered, "Uh, Uh, yeah, sure, but Daddy won¡¯t let me."


    "Yes he will. I just asked him. Don and Skeeter''s coming too."


    "Oh," Maggie said. He was just taking all the little kids, and he saw her as one of them. This was not a date. But maybe, just maybe, John Carl had asked the boys to come because he knew her daddy would never let her go to the movies alone with him. She hoped that was it.


    John Carl went into the kitchen to get himself a sandwich and a glass of tea. He came back and sat down across from her. He took a sip of his tea and said, "We''ll be leaving around seven-thirty because we''ve got to go pick up Brenda."


    "Brenda?"


    "Yeah, I called her before I left work."


    Maggie felt sick. She wasn''t anything to him but one of the tag along kids.


    *


    The afternoon sky was cloudless. Don, Skeeter and Earl were playing on top of the old shower house. Bee Bob and Corey Jean were still too little to climb up there.


    Bee Bob stood below crying. Corey Jean was beside him. She shook her finger and said, "You stop it Don Woodrow or I''ll tell Mama."


    "Tattle tale, tattle tale," Don said.


    Bee Bob ran over to Maggie. "They won''t play," his little voice shuddered, "with me."


    Don chanted, "Titty baby, titty baby. Bee Bob''s just a titty baby."


    Maggie climbed up the side of the shower house. She glared at Don and said, "You get down, now."


    Skeeter and Earl scrambled down. Don laughed and said, "You aren''t my mama, and you can''t make me."


    Maggie pulled herself over the edge beside Don. He backed away.


    "Maggie''s gonna whip you," Corey Jean said from below.


    Don laughed. "I''d like to see her try. She isn''t nothing but an old meally mouthed, weak-kneed girl."


    "I wouldn''t be so sure about that if I was you," Skeeter yelled at him.


    Maggie grabbed Don''s arm and yanked it behind him. She spun him around so fast he stumbled. Then she put him in a head lock. She hissed in his ear, "You take back what you said."


    Don squirmed in her arms. "No."


    Maggie tightened her grip.


    "Aw cut it out," he said. "take it back. I take it back." Maggie let go of him.


    From below Skeeter said, "See I told you."


    Bee Bob frowned at Don and said, "You''re such a poot head." He then turned and smiled his thanks to Maggie.


    Don climbed down. ¡°Come on,¡± he said. He and the boys headed for the side of the house to play cars.


    When Maggie got down she asked Corey Jean, "Aren''t you going with them?"


    "No. I''m sick of playing with boys."


    *


    At five-thirty Maggie heard John Carl''s truck in the drive. She watched him head toward the back door. As soon as he disappeared around the house, she ran out the front door. She was NOT going to the movies with him and Brenda. For a while she wandered along the branch. She found a secluded water hole and hid behind a rock. An hour later Don and Skeeter found her throwing pebbles into the water. The splashes had given her away.


    "What are you doing down here?" Don asked. "Shouldn''t you be up at the house making yourself beautiful for John Carl?"


    "I''m not going," she said.


    "Oh, yes you are. John Carl''s been looking for you."


    "So."


    "So? Do you think he asks me to go to the movies every night of the week? He''s never asked me before. And if you don''t go I suspect he won''t take us neither." Don glared at her.


    "Yeah," Skeeter said. "Get off your fat buns and come on."


    Maggie didn''t move. "I''m not going."


    "Well, you have to tell John Carl you''re not going because I''m not." Don''s face was flushed with anger. "If we don''t get to go because you aren''t, I''ll never forgive you for as long as I live."


    Reluctantly Maggie said, "Okay, I''ll tell him and I''ll make sure he still takes you two."


    Skeeter said, "You better."


    Maggie followed the boys back to the house. When she stepped inside John Carl wrinkled his forehead. "You''re not ready. You are coming aren''t you?"


    She wanted to scream No! at him, but instead the most amazing thing happened. She said, "Yes." Then she said, "I was just fixing to go get ready." Where had that come from? She went into Daniel''s bedroom. Her mother was ironing Maggie''s white eye-let blouse. She handed it to her. "You always look real pretty in this."


    Maggie took the blouse and frowned. "What difference does it make Mama. I''m just one of the kids to him."


    Her mother patted her cheek and said, "I wouldn''t be too sure about that."


    "I am," Maggie said. She pulled her jeans out of her paper bag.


    "No you''re not. If you were you wouldn''t be going tonight." Mama picked up her make-up bag. "A little of this might sway John Carl''s opinion of you."


    Did she want to sway his opinion? Was it even possible? Maggie didn''t know. She took her mother''s make up bag.

 Chapter 14. The Drive In

    Mama left the room. Maggie pulled off her clothes and put on her jeans and the blouse. She brushed out her hair. She put on some mascara and a little eye shadow. Not too much because she didn''t want Don and Skeeter to tease her.When she walked into the living room Bill put an arm around her. He whispered in her ear, "I don''t know why my boy is taking that Brenda girl along. I''d have more sense if I was him."


    Maggie grinned at Bill.


    Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting beside John Carl in the cab of his truck. He kept looking at her. She tried to ignore him but she couldn''t. He smiled at her. She blushed.


    Don jabbed Skeeter in the shoulder, and said, "Sure is amazing the way Maggie turns red every time John Carl looks at her."


    Skeeter said, "Shut up, Don."


    Don started humming under his breath.


    When they pulled up at Brenda''s, John Carl honked. Brenda came bouncing out of the house smiling until she saw Maggie sitting by John Carl. He got out to let Brenda in. She slid onto the seat beside Maggie and said, "I didn''t know we were taking a crowd tonight."


    "Three extra''s not a crowd unless you''re one of them," Don said.


    Brenda frowned at him.


    Don started sniffing the air. "Something stinks." He leaned over and looked at Brenda, "Oh, it''s you. Bit heavy-handed with your oudee toilet."


    "Don," John Carl said.


    Don shrugged and pinched his nose closed. Skeeter slapped his hand over his nose and mouth. Maggie turned her face away from Brenda and smiled. She thought, Tonight might prove to be very interesting. When she turned back she saw Brenda put her hand on John Carl''s knee. Suddenly Maggie felt ill. Brenda''s perfume really was a bit too strong. It was close and hot in the truck cab. She wished she could sit in back. She wanted to go home. She should have said no.


    Skeeter touched her arm. "Are you okay?"


    She shook her head. Her stomach churned. She felt like she was going to throw up. Skeeter pulled her head down to his cupped hand. He whispered, "You''re lot''s prettier than her."


    "Thanks," Maggie whispered back.


    Brenda said, "It''s not polite to whisper."


    "It ain''t polite to kill people with your oudee toilet either." Don clutched his throat and gasped for air.


    "Why did you bring him?" Brenda asked.


    John Carl shrugged.


    In a high pitched sing song voice Don said, "He bringed me cause he loves me."


    Maggie couldn''t stand the near proximity of Brenda a second longer. She asked Don, "Can I sit by the window."


    Don leaned over and looked at Brenda. He said, "For you Maggie I would do anything. But what about poor Skeeter? He is sure to die of suffocation sitting so close to her."


    "Don, that is enough," John Carl said. "You can go ahead and switch Maggie."


    Maggie hopped over Don and Skeeter. She stuck her hand out the window. The rushing air made her feel calmer. Her stomach settled down.


    When they got to the drive-in''s pay booth Don pushed Skeeter into Brenda. "Hey, watch it," Brenda said.


    "Don''s doing it," Skeeter told her.


    Don leaned against Skeeter digging in his pocket for his money. He handed John Carl the rumpled bills ramming them right under Brenda''s nose.


    "That''s okay Don," John Carl said. "Tonight''s my treat."


    "Oh, wonderful," Brenda said. "I guess this means you''ll be broke until pay day."


    *


    The movie, HIGH SCHOOL HEAVEN, was boring. Brenda seemed to think it was hysterical. Halfway through, Don and Skeeter disappeared. They claimed they needed to go to the restroom, but they hadn''t come back. Maggie told John Carl, "I better go find Skeeter and Don."


    Brenda snuggled up against John Carl and said, "That''s a good idea. Take your time."


    Maggie could tell by Brenda''s expression what she meant. At this point Maggie didn''t care. John Carl was stupid and she was having the worst time ever. She should have stayed at the house.


    Slowly Maggie threaded her way through the parked cars. She found the boys staring wide-eyed at one couple. In a low voice she heard Don say, "I think he is trying to eat her." Then he burst into a chorus of smacking noises.


    Maggie grabbed his arm and said, "Shh." The couple in the car didn''t even notice them. Maggie led the boys away from the car.


    Don whined, "This movie is so dumb."


    "Well, you''re the one who wanted to come."


    Don rolled his eyes. "What do I know? I''m just a kid."


    Maggie took the boys over to the concession stand. At the counter she placed her order then turned to ask the boys what they wanted. They were gone. The woman at the counter waited. Maggie said, "Never mind."


    As she started back toward the truck she noticed the light in the women''s restroom flickered on and off, on and off. Surely they wouldn''t be in there. Maggie went into the restroom.


    Don whispered, "Quick, someone''s coming." The room went dark.


    Maggie heard a stall door slowly creak as it opened. She could make out the shadowy form of her brother riding the stall door. She reached up and grabbed his foot. Skeeter screamed. The lights flashed on. Skeeter muttered, "Its just you."


    From the over turned trashcan by the light switch, Don grinned down at her and said "Skeeter screams like a girl."


    "Get out of here now." Maggie marched the boys to the concession stand and stayed behind them so they wouldn''t run off again. As they walked back to the truck, Don and Skeeter tossed popcorn into the open cars.


    When they got to John Carl''s truck Don climbed up on its roof. He sat down cross-legged. The car behind them beeped.


    "Aw, knock it off," Don yelled. "You can see over me. I''m a short kid."


    John Carl jumped out and pulled Don down.


    "You wonder why I don''t take you anywhere." He tossed him in the truck bed. "You stay put." John Carl got back inside.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.Maggie and Skeeter joined Don in the back. They threw popcorn into the air and tried to catch it with their mouths. Skeeter was the best.


    Finally the movie was over. Don jumped up and yelled, "Praise the Lord."


    John Carl turned and frowned at him. Then he looked at Maggie and asked, "How about coming back up front?"


    She shook her head. "No thanks."


    John Carl''s truck rumbled. Slowly they drove out of the Drive-in. The truck turned on the highway, then accelerated. The wind pulled at her hair. Maggie looked up at the sky. There were so many stars. The night air felt wonderful as they zoomed down the open highway. It felt like flying.


    When they pulled up to Brenda''s house Brenda got out on the opposite side of the truck. John Carl didn''t get out at all. Brenda slammed the door and then stomped to her front door. Just before she slammed it closed Don yelled, "Good night, oh woman of great odor."


    Maggie clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from giggling.


    With great satisfaction, Don said, "She ain''t too fond of me."


    John Carl leaned out his window and tugged at Maggie''s shirt sleeve. "Will you ride up front with me now?" he asked.


    Skeeter nudged Maggie and nodded.


    "I guess," she said. She crawled over the boys and climbed through the opposite window.


    John Carl started the truck. As they pulled out on to the road he said, "I''m sorry you didn''t have much fun."


    "That''s okay," Maggie said. She didn¡¯t know what else to say. Silence hung heavy between them. She wished she was in back with Don and Skeeter. John Carl rested his right arm on the back of the seat. His fingers were just inches away from her shoulder.


    She took a deep breath. The silence was unbearable. In a shaky voice she asked, "Why did you ask us to come along? Brenda obviously didn''t want us around."


    John Carl glanced at her. Maggie looked away. She couldn''t meet his eyes.


    He said, "I figured you must get tired of being stuck at the house. I knew if I asked you I''d have to ask Skeeter too. I took Don along for Skeeter."


    Wasn''t that nice of you, Maggie thought. Aloud she said, "Oh, I don''t mind being at the house. It has been a little lonely since Daniel, well you know. He used to play cards with me or I''d read a Zane Grey novel to him. He didn''t go off all the time like you and Billy do."


    "He didn''t have a girlfriend," John Carl said.


    Maggie didn''t respond. Inwardly she groaned.


    "Daniel and me were talking about you a couple weeks ago," he continued.


    "You were?"


    John Carl stretched his arm out further behind her and touched her shoulder with his fingertips. "He told me you''ve got a crush on me."


    Maggie felt like she had been hit. Why did Daniel betray her confidence? She was angry and confused. Was she allowed to be mad at someone who was dead? Daniel promised he wouldn''t tell.


    "I was real flattered," John Carl said. "A girl as pretty as you." He ran his fingers along the base of her neck.


    Maggie looked out the window. Her throat was tight. He was flattered, that was all.


    Still touching her he said, "You''re going to be starting high school soon."


    Maggie managed to mumble, "Yeah, in two more weeks."


    John Carl sighed. "I can''t believe I will be graduating this year. It''s gone by too fast. I''m not sure what I''m going to do next year." He squeezed Maggie''s neck gently then let go. He kept his hand on the seat behind her.


    Maggie looked at him. He smiled at her. To her amazement, she smiled back. Why?


    A few minutes later they were home. Maggie got out of the truck. John Carl came around to her and extended his arm to her. Did he want her to take his arm? "May I escort you home?" he asked.


    Maggie nodded. She wrapped her hand around his bicep. Touching him felt good. If only the house were a million miles away.


    Don and Skeeter ran ahead of them. Don was spending the night.


    John Carl stopped Maggie just before they went inside. "I was afraid you weren''t going to come when I got home this evening. I''m really glad you came tonight."


    "Me too."


    *


    Maggie was on the front porch couch reading Zane Grey''s novel, NEVADA, by flashlight. She heard Billy''s car pull in under the oak tree. His boots crunched across the gravel. "Hey," he said as he swung open the screen door. Maggie rolled over and sat up. She shone the flashlight directly into his eyes. Billy yanked it away from her and flipped it off. He sat down beside her and sighed.


    "What did you and Sally do tonight?" Maggie asked.


    "Drove around mostly." Billy fumbled with his pack of cigarettes.


    Maggie put her hand on his and said, "Don''t."


    "Okay, Miss Health Police. How was the movie?"


    "Awful," Maggie said. "Billy?"


    "Mmm?"


    "Can you tell me what''s so wonderful about Brenda?"


    Billy scratched his chin and looked at Maggie. "Well she''s built and she knows how to get her way. She has this look that makes guys jump and take notice. She also knows how to flirt."


    "I don''t know how to flirt," Maggie said. "Sally''s not a flirt and you like her just fine."


    "That''s ''cause I''m the flirt in our relationship." He grinned at Maggie.


    "Why do you think John Carl asked me to go tonight?"


    "I don''t know. Maybe he likes you. Maybe he just likes to be seen at the drive-in with two pretty girls. I can''t figure him out," he said.


    Billy got up.


    Maggie grabbed his hand. "Do you think John Carl''s just flirting with me?"


    Billy leaned over and kissed her full on the mouth. "I don''t know about John Carl, but I sure am."


    Maggie pushed him away. "You are awful," she said wiping her mouth off.


    Billy laughed. "Tis sad but true." He patted her head then went inside.


    Maggie flipped the flashlight back on and continued to read.

 Chapter 15. Favors

    When Maggie woke up the flashlight was still on and her face was mashed against the novel. It left ridges on her cheek. Maggie stretched and looked around her. A week ago Daniel had woken up in his bed. Had it only been a week? It seemed like the past seven days had lasted longer than Maggie''s entire life.


    She heard the voices of her mother and Garnet in the drive. The breeze caught pieces of their conversation. Maggie heard Garnet say, "My Marcy would be thirteen. She and Maggie could have been best friends."


    Maggie¡¯s mother¡¯s voice shook a little when she said, "Like us."


    The two women stopped. Maggie lifted up on her elbow. She saw her mother take Garnet¡¯s hand. In a low voice Garnet said, "I wish we didn¡¯t live so far apart."


    Mama said, ¡°Me too.¡± The two women continued their walk. Maggie lay back down and stared at the ceiling. If Marcy had lived would she have been her best friend instead of Billy? Maggie couldn¡¯t imagine that. She also couldn¡¯t imagine having two children in heaven like Garnet.


    *


    After her shower Maggie sat propped up on Daniel''s bed reading, NEVADA. Garnet came into the room. She was still in her robe. She sat down beside Maggie and leaned over her. She looked at the cover the novel. "Daniel and I finished that after you left," she said.


    "I was wondering if he ever found out how it ended."


    ¡°He did. He thought you¡¯d like the way it turns out.¡± Garnet smiled at Maggie and reached into the pocket of her robe. She pulled out a tiny red Gideon''s New Testament. Softly she said, "This was Daniel''s. I want you to have it."


    Maggie took it from her and opened it. Daniel had written his name on the first page. She touched his name and whispered, "Thank you."


    Garnet smiled again. Her smile was tired. She sighed and said, "Daniel used to run his fingers over the words. He told me once, ''God speaks to people in this book. I wish I could read better so He could speak to me.'' I told him the Bible wasn''t the only way God talks," Garnet''s voice broke. She cleared her throat. "I read him the verse in the Old Testament about God''s still small voice. I think he learned to listen to it." She brushed away a tear with the back of her hand.


    Maggie reached for Garnet. She felt the softness of her. She felt how much this woman loved her. When she released her Garnet said, "Daniel thought you were real special." She paused then added, ¡°I know someone else who thinks you are real special."


    "Who?"


    "John Carl.¡±


    Maggie didn¡¯t believe her.


    Garnet nodded her head. ¡°He does. I''ve seen the way he looks at you. He doesn''t look at Brenda like that. I¡®ve been thinking maybe he would talk to you. He won''t talk to me. He seldom does. But I can''t stand to watch him hold in all his pain. He has to let some of it out. Could you try to get him to talk?"


    "I can try, but I don''t know if it will do much good. If John Carl doesn''t want to talk, he doesn''t talk."


    "I know, but I''d appreciate it if you¡¯d try," Garnet said.


    "Okay."


    Garnet hugged her again and left her to her novel. Maggie closed the book. How was she going to get John Carl to talk?


    *


    The kids were down in the branch playing. The morning sun shot shafts of white light through the trees. The water glistened. Maggie sat on a rock watching the children. Corey Jean was beside her singing,


    "The grass is green


    The trees is green


    The cars is green..."


    The boys were rebuilding the dam. Don looked at Corey Jean and yelled, "Shut up shrimp."


    "I am not no shrimp," she said. She stood up and yelled, "You be nice to me Don."


    "Make me," he said.


    Corey Jean put her hands on her hips. "If Daniel''s here he''d make you."


    Soberly Don said, "But he''s not here."


    Corey Jean sat back down and whispered, "I know.¡±


    Earl stopped digging, "I wish he was here now."


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Bee Bob pulled his thumb out of his mouth. "I miss him." Tears stood in his eyes.


    Maggie thought, We all do.


    Skeeter thrust his shovel into the sand and glared at Maggie. Angrily he said, "Get off your butt, we need some help."


    Maggie obeyed. She needed to divert them. She picked up a shovel and started tossing sand on the dam. The effort seemed so futile. Every day, the dam busted. Every day, the boys rebuilt it. At least it was something to do.


    After a while Corey Jean resumed her singing. Don clamped his hands over his ears. He looked at Maggie and said, "Hey, why don''t we pretend we''re Cherokee?"The boys nodded in agreement and Corey Jean shut up long enough to listen.


    Don thumped his chest and said, "I¡¯m Big Beaver, Skeeter''s Brother Buffalo, Earl''s Great Elk, Maggie''s Gentle Doe, Bee Bob''s Little Gopher and Corey Jean is," he paused dramatically and shouted, "Running Mouth."


    Corey Jean flew at him. She punched him hard in the stomach. In a shrill voice she said, "You shut up Don Woodrow. You shut up this minute or I''m gonna tell."


    "Go ahead."


    Corey Jean stuck her tongue out at him, but she didn¡¯t run to tattle, instead she started singing again,


    "The sky is green


    Don is green


    The trees is green


    The flowers is green. . ."


    Don groaned.


    *


    At noon Maggie took the kids up to the house for lunch. John Carl and Bill were eating in the dining room when she walked in. John Carl glanced up at her but he didn''t smile. Bill looked angry.


    Maggie found Garnet sitting on the couch watching the clock over the fireplace. The hands moved. A full week had passed since Daniel drowned. Garnet sighed. She asked Maggie, "Could you fix Corey Jean a plate?"


    "Yes, mam." Maggie went into the kitchen followed by Corey Jean. She opened the refrigerator.


    "I want a cheese sandwich," Corey Jean told her.


    Maggie got the ingredients out then grabbed a slice of bread and smeared it with mayonnaise. John Carl came into the kitchen. As he put his glass in the sink, Maggie knew it was now or never. In a hoarse voice she said, "Uh, John Carl."


    "Yes?" he asked without looking at her.


    "I was wondering if you and me could go for a ride after you get off work?" Maggie put the cheese on the bread.


    "I guess," he said. He went back into the dining room. He picked his cap up off the table, put it on and left.


    Maggie handed Corey Jean her plate.


    *


    The living room clock hands rested on 5:30 p.m. Maggie got off the couch and went out the front door to the porch steps to wait for John Carl. From a distance she saw Billy''s car enter the gate. She watched it snake down the drive and disappear when it dipped into the branch. It appeared again. He he parked under the oak trees. Would he go through the back or the front door.? His car door slammed and he came around to the front where Maggie waited. As he passed by her, he tweaked he nose but didn''t speak. Maggie jumped when the screen door banged behind him. She was so tense. She didn''t know how she was going to accomplish what Garnet wanted her to do.


    She saw John Carl''s truck on the road. He pulled into Uncle Woody''s drive then continued down the dirt road. Maggie''s heart started beating funny. She felt sick and she couldn''t breath very well. The truck stopped under the oak tree beside Daniel''s truck.


    John Carl got out of the truck. When he saw her he smiled timidly. He hesitated, then walked toward her. Maggie stood up. "You''re still going to take me for a ride aren''t you?" she asked.


    John Carl nodded.


    "If you don''t mind I''d like to go in Daniel''s truck."


    John Carl winced as if he''d been struck. After a very long minute he asked, "Why?"


    "I want to ride in it one last time," she said.


    "Oh, I guess so." His voice sounded tired. "Let me eat and take a shower first."


    "Okay." She sat back down to wait. *

 Chapter 16. In the Cemetery

    The hot evening sun burned its way into the truck cab. Being in Daniel''s truck was weird. She thought it would be comforting. John Carl didn¡¯t look right driving it. She wished they were in John Carl''s truck instead. Really what she wished more than anything was that Daniel could still drive his own truck.


    They turned off the dirt road and headed onto the pavement. Up ahead was the cemetery. Maggie pointed at it. "Can we stop there?"


    ¡°Why?¡±


    That afternoon she had decided that the best way to get John Carl to talk was to take him to Daniel. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now she was not so sure. Lamely she said, ¡°Cause I want to.¡±


    John Carl shrugged. He pulled up to the gate. Maggie got out. John Carl didn''t move.


    "Will you come with me?"


    He sighed and looked at her. "I don''t really want to."


    "Please?" she asked.


    "Why?"


    "Please," she said again.


    Finally, John Carl got out. He opened the gate for her but he didn''t follow her.


    For a moment Maggie couldn''t find Daniel''s grave. A fresh grave near his confused her. She looked back at John Carl. He was slowly coming towards her. "It''s over here,¡± she told him.


    The hard dirt clods had melted in the heavy rains. The grave looked softer, not so much like a scar on the earth. Maggie rounded the grave and stood facing John Carl. He stopped five feet away. Everything about him was tense and withdrawn. He waited.


    Maggie plucked a few wild flowers and placed them by the little marker with Daniel''s name on it. She cleared away some of the dead dried wreaths.


    Maggie looked up at John Carl. He was studying the toe of his boot. Now what? she thought. Dear God what do I say?


    The wind blew through the trees. The dry leaves brushed against one another. It reminded Maggie of yesterday morning in the branch. She had felt Daniel''s presence then, she wished she felt it now. She forced herself to speak out loud. "Daniel, it''s me, Maggie. John Carl''s here too. I''ve heard it''s real nice up in heaven. Your mama says you got a lot of family up there. So I guess you aren''t lonely. We sure miss you down here, though." Maggie glanced back at John Carl. He was still looking at his feet. She didn¡¯t know what else to say, so she walked to where John Carl stood.


    In a husky voice he asked, "Do you think he heard you?"


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    At that moment she didn¡¯t know, but she hoped. She hoped Daniel was watching them. She hoped he or God would give her a sign that would help her know how to help John Carl.


    Still looking at his boots John Carl asked, ¡°Can we go now?¡±


    They hadn¡¯t talked. She hadn¡¯t done what Garnet wanted her to do. It looked like no sign was coming. ¡°Uh, I guess.¡±


    As they made her way back to the truck Maggie noticed a big dent in the tailgate.


    She asked, ¡°What happened to the tail gate?¡±


    John Carl stopped. He looked at the tailgate. In a flat voice he said, ¡°Billy did it."


    "How?"


    For several seconds, John Carl stood there staring at the dent. Maggie wasn¡¯t sure he was going to answer her. Finally he said, "Daniel, Billy and me were out in the woods gathering dead mesquite branches for Uncle Woody''s Fourth of July barbecue. When we got finished I wanted to ride next to the window and so did Billy. Daniel took my side. Billy said, ''You always take his side.'' Which wasn¡¯t true. Billy picked up a big branch and made a swipe at me. I jumped just in time. He hit the truck instead of me. That¡¯s where the dent came from. It made Daniel madder than I¡¯ve ever seen him. He cussed at us, jumped in the truck and drove off.¡±


    "Why don''t you and Billy get along?" Maggie asked.


    John Carl didn¡¯t answer. He grabbed hold of her hand, and led her to his door. He opened it. She climbed in. When she scooted to her side of the seat he asked, ¡°Why you sitting way over there?¡±


    Shyly, Maggie slid beside him. He put his arm around her. A warm and wonderful something wrapped itself around her. She could feel her heart beating faster. She had never sat so close to a boy, except for Billy, but he didn¡¯t count did he? Perhaps John Carl¡¯s feelings for her were no different than Billy''s. She pushed the thought away.


    After they had gotten a little ways down the road, John Carl asked, "Do you ever think about dying?"


    Really, at this moment, she didn¡¯t want to talk about death with John Carl, even though that was what she knew Garnet wanted her to do. She took a slow breath in and said, "Until this week I didn''t."


    His arm tightened around her. ¡°Me either.¡± He paused then asked, "What did you mean when you said you wanted to ride in this truck one last time?"


    "This afternoon I heard your daddy say he''s going to have to sell it to help pay for the funeral. It must cost a lot to die."


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    She asked, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you go to the funeral?¡±


    John Carl didn¡¯t answer. He stared at road. Silence filled the cab of the truck, heavy suffocating silence. Maggie started to feel queasy.


    The sky turned from pink to lavender. The breeze was beginning to cool. Maggie was failing Garnet. She was supposed to be getting John Carl to talk. He wasn¡¯t talking. She didn¡¯t know what to say. Then, she felt him wrap his fingers in her hair.


    He said, ¡°Your hair is so soft.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°I think it is the softest hair I have ever touched.¡±


    Immediately Brenda came to Maggie¡¯s mind. Her hair was softer than Brenda¡¯s. That was something, wasn¡¯t it?


    The first stars began to dimple the sky. John Carl leaned his head against hers. "You''re Daddy told me to get you home before dark. Looks like we are gonna to be late.¡± He asked, ¡°What do you think he will do to us?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, hopefully just gripe, he¡¯s real good at that.¡±


    John Carl laughed. ¡°My dad is a good griper too. I wonder if I will be one when I¡¯m a daddy.¡±


    ¡°A griper? I don¡¯t think so.¡±


    His fingers twirled through her hair. ¡°I¡¯ve been watching you with the kids. You are so patient with them. You¡¯re really good with kids.¡± The compliment pleased Maggie deep down. He had been watching her. He had noticed her. That meant something didn¡¯t it?


    They turned from the pavement onto the dirt road. They were almost to the house. She wasn¡¯t ready. She wanted to ride forever pressed up against John Carl. She saw the gate. John Carl pulled up to it and stopped. Maggie slid out her door to open the gate. John Carl drove through. After she closed the gate, she got in on her side, then quickly slid across the seat. John Carl put his arm back around her. It wasn¡¯t over yet. They headed down the drive. The truck hit a bump as they ascended the drive. The headlight beams bounced crazily creating weird shadows in the trees. Maggie could see the lights of the house.


    John Carl pulled Daniel¡¯s truck beside his own. They needed to get out, but Maggie didn¡¯t want to, she didn¡¯t ever want to. John Carl looked down at her. He seemed to want to say something, but she wasn¡¯t sure what it was and she was too shy to ask.


    There was the crunch of grass beside the truck, then a small head popped up through the open window. It was Don. He asked, "What you tryin'' to do John Carl, kiss her? I''m tell''n. You are gonna be in so much trouble." He jumped down and raced to the back door. Maggie heard it bang closed.


    John Carl said, ¡°I guess we better get inside.¡±


    Embarrassed, Maggie nodded. All she could do was pray Don was just teasing. Had John Carl been about to kiss her? She slid out of the truck behind John Carl. Without touching or speaking they walked to the house. When they entered the dining room, Daddy looked at John Carl and said, "Last time I checked out the window it was dark."


    "I''m sorry sir."


    "Well don''t let it happen again."


    Maggie looked at John Carl and raised her eyebrows. That wasn''t so bad. Don had just been teasing.


    In the living room Garnet, Bill and Maggie''s mother were looking through an old photo album. "Come see this," Garnet said to her.


    Maggie looked at the picture Garnet held out to her. It was a picture of her when she was four and Daniel was ten.


    John Carl looked over her shoulder. "You were so cute."


    "She still is," Billy said. He sat down on the fireplace and smiled at Maggie. He didn''t smile at John Carl or even look at him when he said, "Oh, by the way John Carl, Brenda called. She was pissed about something."


    John Carl shrugged. ¡°When isn¡¯t she?¡± He didn¡¯t go to the phone. He stayed behind Maggie. So close she could feel his breath on her neck.


    Maggie handed the picture back to Garnet. Garnet looked from her to John Carl. She mouthed the words, Thank you.


    Maggie bit her lip. She hadn¡¯t done what Garnet asked her to, not really.


    Corey Jean raced up to Maggie and handed her a picture of a baby. "I think this baby looks just like me, but Mama said its John Carl."


    Maggie took the picture. A chubby baby grinned in the photo. Yes, that was definitely John Carl''s smile.


    Corey Jean snatched the picture away from her. "Mama says I got to take a bath. I told her I wasn''t taking no bath till you got back."


    "Do you mind?" Garnet asked.


    Maggie really didn''t want to but she said, "No, I don''t mind."


    Corey Jean dashed off to the bathroom. Maggie followed. She glanced back at John Carl, he was watching her, and so was Billy.


    When Maggie entered the bathroom Corey Jean slammed the door closed. "Listen," she giggled.


    Bill yelled, "How many times have I told you not to slam the door, Corey Jean?"


    "He always says that." Corey Jean lifted her arms up so Maggie could undress her. "Is John Carl your boyfriend now?"


    Maggie said, "No."


    "Shoot, I was hoping he was. Well I wish you''d think about getting him to be your boyfriend because I''ve had about all that old Brenda girl I can take."


    Maggie turned on the water and Corey Jean tested it with her toe. She grimaced and said, "It''s too hot. What are you trying to do, boil me?"


    "No." Maggie turned the faucet to cold.

 Chapter 17. A Kiss and a Confession

    Maggie flipped off the bathroom light and made her way through the dark house. Everyone else was asleep, or at least she thought they were. As quietly as she could, she opened the front door. In the moonlight she saw John Carl sitting on the porch couch. What was he doing? If Daddy caught him¡­


    John Carl stood. It was too dark to see his face but she could feel his eyes on her. He asked, "Could I kiss you good night?"


    Maggie stared at him. Two stupid questions flitted through her head. Had he kissed Brenda that night ? And, if he had would he still have her germs  on his lips? Two more questions came to mind. If she let him kiss her, what would it mean? If she didn¡¯t what would he do? Panic seized her. She¡¯d never had a real kiss before.


    He took a step towards her and then reached for her. Something bigger than her fear pushed Maggie into his arms. He brought his lips down on hers. They were soft, but through them Maggie felt the oppressive force of his grief. The sensation was suffocating. She couldn¡¯t breathe. He pulled her closer. So close she could feel the beat of his heart. It was beating funny. She wanted him to stop.


    The front door swung open. The porch light flipped on. Maggie knew without turning around that it was Billy. He must have seen John Carl kissing her through their bedroom window.


    Billy shouted, ¡°Let go of her. Can¡¯t you see she doesn¡¯t want you to kiss her?¡±


    Instantly, John Carl let go. He looked down at her. She whispered, ¡°I did want you to.¡± He touched her face with his hand.


    Billy warned, ¡°Don¡¯t kiss her again.¡±


    John Carl asked, ¡°Why not?¡±


    They were so loud they had probably woken everyone up by now. Especially Daddy. He was going to be so mad. Maggie stepped from between the boys.


    Billy snarled, ¡°Cause you got a girlfriend.¡±


    With a slight jerk of his head, John Carl said, ¡°Last time I checked, so do you.¡±


    All at once Maggie felt dirty. Did they just kiss her because they could? Because she hadn¡¯t stopped them?


    Billy moved towards John Carl. He had his fist wadded in a ball. Before Maggie could say anything, Billy¡¯s fist made contact with John Carl¡¯s chin. John Carl¡¯s reaction was so swift, Maggie wasn¡¯t sure she even saw the blow. The next thing she knew, Billy was falling backwards, in a slow motion, it was so weird. She saw his head hit on the wooden armrest of the couch. It bounced against his chest. His body twisted sideways and landed with a thud on the floor. He didn¡¯t get up. He didn¡¯t move. Blood trickled from his mouth.


    Unbidden, Billy¡¯s words echoed in Maggie¡¯s mind, ¡°Without Daniel around, I''m afraid John Carl and I might kill each other one day.¡± Had this fear been realized already?


    Terrified, John Carl backed away from his brother.


    The house lights turned on. Bill was the first one out the door. He looked from Billy to John Carl and asked, ¡°What did you do now?¡±


    John Carl ducked his head and spun around. He banged the screen door open and ran into the night. The door closed with a jarring thwack.


    Garnet came out onto the porch in her robe. Behind her was Mama. When Garnet saw Billy, her face turned ashen. Her knees buckled. Mama grabbed hold of her.


    Daddy was the next one out. He went to Billy¡¯s side. Carefully he lifted Billy¡¯s eyelids. Then he listened to his chest. He pulled Billy¡¯s lip away from his teeth and said ¡°Looks like he just busted his lip. I don¡¯t think the bleeding is internal. Maggie, go get my first aid kit and my flashing light out of the car.¡± He tossed her his keys.


    Amazingly, she caught them and headed out the screen door. She listened for the sound of running feet. The night was still. Where had John Carl gone? She went to the Mustang and unlocked it. Daddy¡¯s flashing light was on the dash. She tucked it under her arm. The first aid kit was under the front seat. She got it, slammed the door shut and raced back to the porch.


    Daddy took the first aid kit from her and pulled out a small tube. He opened it and waved it under Billy¡¯s nose. It smelled terrible. Billy did not stir. Daddy shook his head.


    Garnet asked, ¡°Is it bad?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Daddy said. He looked at Maggie. ¡°Go call Woody. We need his help moving Billy.¡±


    Maggie ran inside. Skeeter sat up on the fold out couch and rubbed his eyes. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Billy¡¯s hurt. Skeeter, do you know Uncle Woody¡¯s phone number?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± He got out of bed and went to the phone. His small finger punched out the numbers.


    Maggie put the receiver to her ear. Uncle Woody¡¯s sleepy voice said, ¡°Hello.¡±


    ¡°Uncle Woody, Billy¡¯s been hurt. We need you.¡±


    ¡°I will be there in a second princess.¡± He hung up the phone.


    Skeeter followed Maggie out onto the porch.


    Bill held up a piece of plywood. He asked, ¡°Will this do?¡±


    Daddy nodded. ¡°Just put it here beside him.¡±


    Bill did. When he stood, he looked at Maggie and asked, ¡°What happened here?¡±


    ¡°Uh,¡± Maggie hesitated. How could she say it? This happened because of her. ¡°Uhmm, John Carl kissed me and it made Billy mad and he hit John Carl, then John Carl hit Billy. Then Billy fell and hit his head on the couch." Maggie wished she could spontaneously combust right there.


    Bitterly Bill said, ¡°Idiots. I thought those jack asses I call sons would have learned something by now.¡±


    Maggie stuttered, ¡°I¡¯m, I¡¯m sorry.¡± She dropped her eyes to the floor.


    Bill said, ¡°Wasn¡¯t your fault. If it hadn¡¯t been you it would have been something else they were fighting about.¡±


    Maggie felt Bill put his hand on her shoulder. She couldn¡¯t look at him.


    Uncle Woody clumped onto the porch.


    Daddy said, ¡°Woody we have to move Billy onto this board, in case he has broken his neck.¡±


    Garnet shuddered.


    With cautious hands, the men slid Billy onto the board.


    Daddy said, ¡°Lift it slow on the count of three. One, two, three.¡± Daddy was so calm, so in control. He knew what he was doing. For the first time in her life, Maggie wondered how many people her father had rescued as a fireman. Slowly they lifted Billy, careful to keep him level. Daddy told Maggie, ¡°Open the door.¡±


    Still holding the flashing light, she pushed open the screen door with her back. Her eyes raced across the darkness. Somewhere out there was John Carl. Was he watching them?


    The three men took Billy out to the bed of Daniel¡¯s truck. Once they got Billy settled, Daddy said, ¡°Maggie, I need my light.¡± She handed the light to him. It had a magnet and suction cups on it. He attached it to the top of Daniel¡¯s truck and put the cord into the cigarette lighter. The light began to spin and flash.


    Garnet got into the back with Billy, so did Daddy. Mama climbed in front with Bill. Slowly Bill backed out and made his way down the drive.


    A small hand slipped into Maggie¡¯s. She looked down. Skeeter¡¯s eyes were wide and frightened, he asked, ¡°Is Billy gonna die too?¡±


    ¡°I hope not.¡±


    *


    Uncle Woody¡¯s boys were asleep in Daniel¡¯s room. Corey Jean had slept through everything and was still asleep. Maggie lay beside Skeeter on the fold out couch. Uncle Woody was asleep in Bill¡¯s recliner. John Carl had never come home.


    Careful not the make the metal frame of the fold out couch creak, Maggie got out of bed. She shoved her feet in her shoes and snuck out the back door. She knew where John Carl was. At least she thought she did.


    Patches met her at the step and followed her down the drive. She turned into the branch. It was scary at night, nothing like it looked in the day. With every step she took she prayed that she would NOT step on a snake. Patches whined. The old dog didn¡¯t seem to approve of where she was headed. When she reached the cattle tank, sure enough, John Carl was there, throwing small pebbles into the water.


    For a moment Maggie watched the dark circles move outward from the splashes.


    John Carl said, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be here.¡±


    ¡°Neither should you.¡±


    He grunted and threw another pebble into the water. His voice was raw when he asked, ¡°How is Billy?¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t know yet. He¡¯d just gone to x-ray when Mama called. She said the important thing is that he is still alive.¡±


    John Carl¡¯s voice dropped, ¡°Hope he stays that way, don¡¯t know if I could stand knowing I killed him too.¡±


    His statement chilled Maggie. She asked, ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    John Carl¡¯s shoulders slumped forward. ¡°Daniel might still be a live if I hadn¡¯t made him run all the way from the house to this stupid tank. Mama and Daddy won¡¯t say out loud that it¡¯s my fault, but I know they are thinking it. Billy too.¡± John Carl took in a shuddering breath. His voice dropped low. "That Friday after lunch we were gonna go swimming. Right before we left Daniel made some comment about Brenda. Made me mad. So I told him, I wasn¡¯t taking him to the tank in my truck. Then he said he could beat my old sorry truck on foot. He bet me ten bucks he¡¯d win. I said, ¡®You are on.¡¯ I got in my truck and he took off running. Billy jumped into the truck bed before I could get down the drive. I didn¡¯t want him in my bed, so I swerved hard. Didn¡¯t do any good, just wasted time. Daniel did get here before us. He did win. He was sitting on the bank laughing when we pulled up. He shouted at me, ¡®You sure are slow.¡¯ Then he dove into the water.¡± John Carl¡¯s eyes fixed on the dark cattle tank. He whispered, ¡°That was the last thing he said to me.¡±


    He walked away from the tank, away from Maggie. Fearful he might run again, Maggie started to go after him, but he stopped. He turned and faced her.


    ¡°I saw Billy jump in, and go down. I saw Daniel go down and try to take Billy with him. I just stood on this shore like a statue and didn¡¯t do anything. I was frozen, couldn¡¯t seem to move. Like in a nightmare.¡± He paused, took in a breathe. ¡°Only it wasn¡¯t a nightmare. While they were working on Billy I heard one of the paramedics say the heat and exertion probably caused Daniel¡¯s body to go into shock when he hit the water. If only I hadn¡¯t¡­if only...¡±


    Maggie ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. She held him but he didn¡¯t hold her back. He just stood there with arms straight to his sides, like he didn¡¯t deserve to be held.


    She whispered, ¡°It was an accident, both times were accidents. Daniel and Billy. You couldn¡¯t know. Daniel decided to run, you didn¡¯t make him. Billy threw the first punch.¡±


    Abruptly, he pulled away from her. ¡°No. I should have given Daniel a ride. I should not have hit Billy.¡± He turned from her and said, ¡°You need to get back to the house.¡±


    ¡°So do you.¡±


    There was a crunch behind them. Patches woofed. Maggie turned. It was Uncle Woody. He shined his flashlight at her and said, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be out here young lady.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    He shined the beam on John Carl. ¡°Neither should you.¡±


    Maggie went to Uncle Woody, but John Carl remained where he was.


    Sternly Uncle Woody said, ¡°John Carl Wills. Home. Now. You need to call your mama and tell her you are okay.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk to Mama.¡±


    ¡°Do you think I care what you want? To the house, now.¡±


    Reluctantly, John Carl obeyed.

 Chapter 18. The Morning After

    The first light of day, peeked through the living room windows. Maggie opened her eyes. Beside her on the fold out couch Skeeter slept. In this moment she was so thankful for her little brother. So thankful that they never fought like John Carl and Billy.


    The smell of coffee filled the house. Uncle Woody was in the kitchen humming softly to himself..


    Outside a truck motor sounded, Maggie kicked off the covers, bolted out of bed and flew through the dining room to the back door. She banged it open without a thought to waking the kids.


    Bill parked the truck. Mama, Daddy, Garnet and finally Billy got out of the truck. Billy had a big bandage on his head. His legs were unsteady and he was woozy. Daddy and Bill helped him walk inside. As they steered him into his room, John Carl came out of the room. He did not look at Billy or speak. Maggie could not tell if he was even relieved to see his brother home. No one spoke to him, and he kept his eyes averted. Maggie did see Bill¡¯s face go a shade of red when he heard the back door bang.


    Gently, they eased Billy onto his bed. Uncle Woody had followed them into the room, so had the boys and Skeeter. Corey Jean was still asleep. Garnet pulled the cover over her boy and kissed him on the cheek. He mumbled, ¡°Thanks Mama.¡± He glanced up. All eyes were on him. Pleased by the attention, Billy gave them a lopsided grin. He said, ¡°Ya''ll should thank the Lord I got such a hard head.¡±


    In a weary voice Garnet said, ¡°This is the first time, I have ever been thankful for that. If your head was softer, it could have been a lot worse. Remember you have a concussion, and the doctor wants you to take it easy for a few days."


    Billy''s grin grew bigger. "Oh, I think I can manage that."


    *


    Maggie lay down on John Carl¡¯s bed to watch Billy¡¯s chest rise and fall. Breathing was a miracle and she was so thankful, the air could still come and go out of him. What would they have done if he had been seriously hurt? What would John Carl have done? It could have been so bad. From Garnet and Bill''s room, came their combined snores. Garnet¡¯s snore was louder. At least Garnet was resting.


    Billy stretched and whispered, ¡°I got good drugs.¡± Maggie propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. His eyes were bright and twinkling. ¡°The best drugs I ever had,¡± he continued. ¡°I can¡¯t feel a thing.¡± He held out his hand to her. Maggie got up, went to his bed and took his hand. He squeezed hers. For a moment they just looked at each other. Billy broke their silence by asking, ¡°So how did it feel to have two men fighting over you?¡±


    If he had not just gotten home from the hospital, Maggie would have slugged him. She knew her face was red. Enjoying her discomfort Billy laughed at her. Angrily she said, ¡°I did not like it. Why were you spying on me?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t spyin¡¯ on you. I was just admiring the view.¡± His emphasis on the word view, implied that she was the view. This only rankled her more.Stolen novel; please report.


    ¡°Why did you hit John Carl?¡±


    ¡°He kissed you and he has a girl friend.¡±


    ¡°So, you kissed me and you have a girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but when I kissed you it was just to tease you. John Carl meant it.¡±


    This information made Maggie blush even more. Did this mean Billy thought John Carl might like her just a little?


    ¡°Oh, Maggie why you gotta like him?¡±


    Maggie did not know why. She just did. After last night, a part of her wished she didn¡¯t, but she just couldn¡¯t help her self.


    Garnet¡¯s snore rose to a new level.


    Billy squeezed Maggie¡¯s hand and said, ¡°God I hope the woman I marry don¡¯t snore like Mama.¡±


    Unable to help herself, Maggie giggled.


    Billy yawned. ¡°This stuff they got me on makes me so sleepy.¡± He closed his eyes.


    Maggie held his hand until he fell asleep. Gently, she pulled her fingers free from his. He stirred a little but did not wake up. She went back to John Carl¡¯s bed and laid down. The bed smelled like John Carl, a mixture of soap and tractor grease. The old mattress had lumped itself into the form of his body. She curled herself up in the lump. Soon she too, drifted off to sleep.


    *


    When she woke up. John Carl was standing over the bed looking at her. Embarrassed, she said, ¡°I am sorry, I should not be here.¡±


    Expressionless, John Carl said, ¡°No, it is okay.¡± Without a glance at Billy, he walked out of the room.


    Maggie slid off the bed and went after him. He stood in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. Silently she stood beside him as he spread mayonnaise on white bread. An uncomfortable tension played between them. Maggie felt the pressure of it and wanted to dispel it. He put the knife in the sink and clamped his cheese sandwich together. Without a word to her, he took his plate and went into the dining room.


    Maggie followed him. She said, ¡°Billy¡¯s doing really good.¡±


    John Carl didn¡¯t respond. He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it thoroughly.


    Maybe he hadn¡¯t heard her. Again she said, ¡°Billy is doing really good.¡±


    He swallowed and said, ¡°Yeah.¡±


    She touched his arm. He pulled it away from her.


    Hurt, Maggie dropped her hand. Uncle Woody came into the dining room smoking a cigarette. He sat down at the table. His eyes traveled from John Carl to Maggie, then back again. He asked John Carl, ¡°So where have you been?¡±


    ¡°Around.¡± John Carl stood and took his plate to the kitchen. Maggie remained where she was.


    Billy passed through the dining room on his way to the bathroom. Maggie¡¯s eyes followed him. For a moment John Carl and Billy looked at each other. Billy said, ¡°You gonna try to take out Corey Jean, so you can be an only child?¡± The poison in this remark burned Maggie¡¯s heart. She didn¡¯t know Billy could be so mean.


    John Carl didn¡¯t answer. He walked out of the kitchen, grabbed his cap off the table and slammed the back door behind him.


    To Billy, Uncle Woody said, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to say that.¡±


    A hard light came into Billy''s eyes. He asked, ¡°Why not?¡±¡°Cause he is the only brother you got.¡±


    Anger flared out of Billy¡¯s eyes. ¡°I wish I had my other brother.¡±


    ¡°I bet John Carl wishes the same.¡±


    Billy didn¡¯t say anything more. He went into the bathroom. Outside, Maggie heard the roar of John Carl¡¯s truck. He revved it. The toilet flushed. The next sound was that of spewing gravel as John Carl spun out of the drive. Billy passed back through the dining room. Bitterly he said, ¡°I am glad he''s gone.¡±


    Uncle Woody gave him a stern look, but didn''t say a word..


    Slowly, Maggie got up from the table. She told Uncle Woody, ¡°I am going to the branch to find the kids.¡±


    ¡°Okay, Sweetie. If the boys give you any trouble let me know."


    "I will." Silently, Maggie wondered, why do boys have to be so MUCH trouble?

 Chapter 19. Goings

    Once outside, she did not go find the kids. She went to the old shower house, and climbed up the ladder. In the shade of its barrel, she pulled her knees up under her chin and began to weep. This awfulness between John Carl and Billy would it ever end? Would it always be like this between them because Daniel was not there to make them behave? He was the bridge between them and now he was gone. Gone. Maggie began to sob so hard her chest ached. She did not hear Uncle Woody climb up the ladder. The next thing she knew, an arm slid around her. She crushed her face against his chest. He smelled of cigarette smoke. In a soft voice he said, ¡°Maggie, you can¡¯t fix this.¡±


    ¡°Somebody needs too.¡±


    Uncle Woody held her away from him and looked her directly in the eyes. ¡°What makes you think that somebody is you?¡±


    ¡°Garnet said, she asked me---¡±


    ¡°She shouldn¡¯t have done that. You can¡¯t make John Carl forgive himself any more than his mama can. You can¡¯t end the fight between John Carl and Billy.¡±


    ¡°But I started it.¡±


    ¡°No Girl, you didn¡¯t. It began the day Billy was born. Those boys are so different, I don¡¯t know if they will ever get along.¡±


    ¡°But, I could---¡±


    ¡°Stop Maggie. For a week you have been taking care of everybody else, trying to help everybody else. You can¡¯t fix this, nobody can. Time will make it easier but the pain of loosing Daniel will never completely go away. Loosing Daniel, didn¡¯t just happen to everybody else. It happened to you too. Don¡¯t you realize that?¡±


    Maggie stared up at him. New tears stung her eyes and dribbled down her cheeks. She didn¡¯t want to feel the loss of Daniel. She wanted it to go away. Her chin quivered.


    Uncle Woody pulled her close again. ¡°Girl you got such a good heart, but you can¡¯t give it all away. You got to leave some of it for yourself.¡±


    Maggie¡¯s tears were making a wet spot on Uncle Woody''s shirt, her snot too.


    ¡°Maybe some day John Carl and Billy will get along, maybe someday, John Carl will get passed his guilt, but those are things they have to do, nobody can do it for them. Not their Mama and certainly not you.¡± He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her. ¡°Now dry your eyes sweet lady and come inside. Corey Jean will soon be up from her nap unleashing her tongue on the world.¡±


    The cotton handkerchief was soft on Maggie¡¯s wet face. It soaked up her tears quickly, she wished it could soak up the ache inside of her.


    *


    Maggie waited on the porch step for John Carl to come home. Tomorrow morning, they would be leaving. All afternoon she had prayed God would let her talk to John Carl one more time. As she sat on the porch the sun headed toward the western horizon. A part of her realized he was not coming home, but still she waited. When it grew dark, she went inside.


    Billy was a sleep. Garnet was on the couch crocheting. Corey Jean sat at the coffee table absorbed in her coloring book. She colored way outside the lines. Maggie sat down on the floor beside her. The child pushed a curl out of her eyes and said, ¡°John Carl is at that dumb ole girl¡¯s house.¡± Maggie knew what that meant. It meant that he would not come home for a long time.


    *


    Small hands shook Maggie awake. Skeeter said, ¡°Get up.¡± She opened her eyes. Skeeter was right in her face. His hazel eyes looked into hers. They were not the same, they would never be the same after this past week. He said, ¡°Daddy¡¯s got the car all packed, ¡®cept your stuff. He told me to tell you, ¡®Get your butt in gear.¡¯¡± With a jerk, he pulled back from her and ran back inside.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    Maggie propped herself on her elbows. The morning sun warmed the cool blue sky. The leaves on the trees that lined the branch whispered to each other. Soon, she would be back in Houston, back to the noise of streets and freeways. Usually, she was reluctant to leave. This morning all she wanted was to be home. She kicked off her sheet, rolled it up in her sleeping bag and went inside.


    Billy¡¯s bed was empty, so was John Carl¡¯s. Maggie went into Daniel¡¯s room. As she changed into her clothes, she looked around the room trying to memorize it¡¯s contents. On the chest of drawers was the book NEVADA. She hadn¡¯t finished it. Without asking if she could have it, she tucked it into her bag. She would finish it when she got home. She hoped it had a happy ending, she could use a happy ending.


    After she had checked and rechecked the contents of her bag, she got dressed and took her bag outside. Billy was leaning against the trunk of the Mustang sipping coffee. He was still half stoned on his pain meds. He gave her a goofy grin. She put her stuff in the trunk. He said, ¡°I will be missing you.¡±


    She gave him a quick hug and said, ¡°And I will be missing you.¡±


    From the porch there was the squeak of the screen door being closed. Maggie glanced up. It was John Carl. He headed toward his truck. She left Billy and went to him. Shyly she placed her hand on his arm. She said, ¡°We are leaving.¡± For a brief moment he looked at her, and then at her hand. She expected him to jerk his arm away from her, but he did not. In a choked voice he said, ¡°Thanks for caring about me. It means a lot.¡±


    Before she could answer him, he pulled away from her and jumped into his truck. She wanted to say something, anything. His truck roared to life making speech impossible. He gave her a weary smile and backed out of the drive. She watched the dust cloud his truck made until he disappeared. She turned away and went back to the car.


    Garnet, Bill, Mama, Daddy, Corey Jean and Skeeter had come outside.


    Daddy said, ¡°We best be going.¡±


    Mama grabbed Garnet and said, ¡°I will call you when we get home.¡± The two women held each other along time. They didn¡¯t let go of each other until Daddy put his hand on Mama¡¯s shoulder.


    He hugged Garnet and then shook Bill¡¯s hand. Bill said, ¡°Thanks for coming. We couldn¡¯t have got through this week without you.¡±


    ¡°Glad we could help.¡±


    Maggie hugged Garnet. She felt once again the awful stinging sadness in Garnet. Quickly, she let go of her and hugged Bill. The stubble on his chin scratched her cheek. He rubbed her face and said, ¡°Guess I need a shave.¡±


    Corey Jean hopped around Maggie with her arm¡¯s stretched out. Maggie stooped to hug her. When she let go Corey Jean said, ¡°I am gonna miss have¡¯n a girl around. All that lives here is dumb ol¡¯ boys.¡±


    ¡°Hey,¡± protested Billy. ¡°I ain¡¯t dumb.¡± The next instant, he pulled Maggie in his arms. She could feel the thready beat of his heart through her chest. His lips brushed her cheek. Mama, Daddy and Skeeter climbed into the car. Patches with his tail swinging, waited beside Billy. Maggie stooped down and petted the old dog. He had been such a friend to her over the last eight days. She whispered, ¡°Take care Patches.¡± His warm brown eyes smiled up into hers.


    Daddy yelled, ¡°Come on.¡± Maggie raced to the car and climbed inside. Daddy turned on the motor and backed into the drive. With one last wave, they headed home. Patches barked and chased them down the drive. When they reached the branch, he stopped planted himself and wagged his tail. Maggie wished she could take him home with her.


    When they passed Uncle Woody¡¯s trailer, Don, Earl and Bee Bob were hanging out their window waving. Skeeter waved back. Maggie blew them kisses.


    A cloud of red dust swirled behind the car as they drove down the dirt road. Soon they were on the highway. They passed the garage where John Carl worked. Even though the garage was closed his truck parked out front. Maggie strained to see him inside. She couldn¡¯t. The car was moving too fast. At least he wasn¡¯t at Brenda¡¯s.


    They passed through Dublin. Other small towns were blurs. Mile after mile slipped behind them. Maggie stared out her window. So many memories, some near, some far played slowly through her mind. It hurt to remember. Uncle Woody said time would make it easier¡­she wondered how much time it would take.


    The sun traveled across the sky. They were nearing Houston. Soon another day, another week would pass. They would visit the Wills on Labor day weekend. In a few weeks she would see Billy, Garnet, Bill, Corey Jean, Uncle Woody and his boys and even John Carl¡­but it would be a lifetime, her own lifetime, before she saw Daniel again. She turned her eyes to the big Texas sky. Somewhere up there, and in her heart, was Daniel. He would be with her always.