《Roslyn》 The beginning. What''s the purpose of trying so hard. You fail and fail, over and over again but always...get back up, for the things you don''t truly like. What''s the point in that? The date was back at 27/11/2012. It was my last year of school. My teacher, Mr Blake went up to me. "Roslyn, what are you planning to do after you graduate?", he asked. My mind went blank. "Exactly, what will I do." I thought to myself. I had no plans, no destinations nor goals to achieve. "I''ll think about it, sir.", I replied. As I walked past him, I started wandering around the school and looking back at the memories, it was fun. I went into my class. Sat on the very little desk and started looking afar into the distance. I heard the door opening and it was my classmate, Lina. She was surprised to see me in the classroom. "What are you looking at?", she asked, with a confused look on her face. "Nothing much, honestly I''m just thinking about something.", I replied. Lina, being a person who liked to shove herself into other people''s business said, "You thinking about your boyfriend or something?" she giggled. I was getting annoyed at her and decided to walk out of the classroom and ignored her. She was surprisingly not very responsive after how I treated her just now. Even though I felt bad, I didn''t really care. At 4:00pm, the school ended. Everyone including my classmates went home after waving goodbye to each other, as this was our last day at this school. It was sad but sometimes in life, we just have to move on. Suddenly, as I was walking home, a car sped up towards me when I was crossing the road. The last thing I knew, it was pitch black. I heard voices and cries calling for my name. I woke up, I found myself lying on a bed. There were many people in front of me, they were surprised and some were happy. I was confused. "Where am I?" "What''s going on?" I thought to myself. As it turned out, I got involved in an accident and was submitted to the hospital. I was at a loss for words when I found out I had been asleep for 3 days. The doctor walked in, he checked up on me, asked some questions and making sure that I was okay. I was- until the bad news came in, I was prepared to hear it. But who would''ve thought...that it was gonna be this bad. There was a critical injury that I received after getting the hit from that vehicle. As I was sent flying by the car, the impact made my body weak. After hearing that, I knew I couldn''t have the same life as I did before. "Why must this happen to me? What have I done wrong. Is this my destiny, my fate or the path that god was suppose to give me? This must be a mistake." as I grunt and sighed. "Cheer up, honey. No matter what problem comes, I will always be there for you." my mom said to me as she brushed through my black yet smooth hair. Her voice was like a lullaby, sang by a fairy in a fantasy world. The soothing melody that flows, filling up the horizon. It enlightened my hearts, so I was able to calm down. This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. "Thanks mom." I said as I hugged her. That''s right, I should be much more optimistic at times like this. Cheer and motivate myself up, just to know things will go better....right? That''s what I thought... ---------- A WEEK LATER ---------- I was discharged. The whole week I spent there was boring, just laying in bed, reading books and stuff. Some of my friends visited me, I was happy that they did. We had fun talking together in the ICU room. But now, I am finally back home. It was great getting to walk around freely but my body was so weak, that I always feels tired. It was bothersome but it was my fate. As I do not need to go to school any longer, I hanged out with my friends in the nearby city. Others went to find a part time job to work at while waiting for their university application to be approved. I was impressed by the dedication put by them just to get a decent life. "Hey Yuu, what''s the point in trying so hard?" I asked. "To make sure that you can get what you want." Yuu replied. "What if they failed in the end? Doesn''t that make them looks like a loser? After trying so hard just to get the things they want but unfortunately, they couldn''t. Also, wouldn''t they just give up?" I replied profusely. "Heh- you really thought of that huh? Well if that''s so, then no. It doesn''t make them look like a loser because getting what you want, isn''t that easy. But what you said was not wrong and wasn''t right either. After failing, you were given two options. Try again or give up. Mostly would have given up and pick an easier path but others could pick the option to try again no matter how many times it will took or how hard it will be as long as they can get what they want." she replied. "But is it really what they want?" "What?" "Our friends are working hard just to get a decent life but is it really what they want? All those hard work, just for a mere sad life living normally?" Yuu stared at me, she reflected on what I said, "I have never thought about that- wait yeah you''re right. Some want to be a singer, actor, artist and a lot more awesome career, but yet they couldn''t. Those are just dreams that will never come true. Reality can be harsh sometimes-" "Haha, you went into thinking mode there but yeah. What I said wasn''t wrong. It is a true fact and will always be." I interrupted. She smiled. "Well it''s 8pm now, let''s go back home shall we?" "Yeah." As the conversation ends. It was time for us to head back home for the night. Her presence faded away into the crowd as we begin to move on. It felt as if I would never met her again. As I''ve arrived at home, I was greeted by my mom. "Welcome back, Roslyn." she said. Just listening to her soft voice that enlighten my heart and makes me feels safe and comfortable. "I''m back, Mom." I replied. I went to take a shower and head to the kitchen to have dinner. As we sat down at the dining table to eat. "So, how was the day?" she asked. "It was fun but overall tiring." I replied. She had the smile of a goddess. A smile that can brighten up the whole world. We could had stay like this forever. Motivation & Demotivation My mom and I talked a lot during dinner. It was enjoyable as we shared our moments of the day. After we are done eating, I went to help my mom to clean up the table and such. "Mom, what should I do in the future?" I asked. It was a question that came out randomly from my mouth. Mom were shocked as she didn''t expect that question. "Maybe somethings that suits you the most?" she replied. "Something that suits me? What''s that supposed to mean?" "Okay, so tell me, what are the things that you love doing now at the moment?" "I like hanging out with Yuu, drawing and reading?" "Since you like drawing, why don''t you thrive to be an artist?" "What''s the purpose of an artist? Showing their magnificent art to the world? That seems boring. Plus, I''m not really that good at drawing, Mom." "How about you try looking at a popular artist illustrations and the purpose of being of one or the journey of being an artist. Maybe that will change your mind." "I''ll think about it, Mom." As the conversation ended, I went to my bedroom to sleep. I reflected on my mother words, "Maybe I will try looking at some." I thought. I searched up some popular artist name and their works. The art was beautiful, they were like an illusions that''s from another dimensions, it filled my mind with breathtaking thought from an art that shouldn''t be in this world. After such satisfaction, I decided to went to sleep but the room was too dark, so I drew back the curtains. ''Woah." I spoke in amazement. The dark skies that felt empty were filled with stars that shone as bright as diamond. It was a breathtaking view from below, I- what is this feeling deep down in my heart. This feeling that I can''t comprehend. "Is this excitement? No, it''s a feeling of motivation and inspiration but do I really want to be an artist? What if I failed? Do I try again.....or give up?" I thought but I decided to ignore that thought for now. I looked back at the beautiful sky, the emptiness in my heart that were as dark as the void, not knowing how deep it is makes it an endless fall. It soon changed after I experienced this moment. The admirable skies, it was gorgeous. What a great night. "Roslyn." "Roslyn." "Roslyn." "ROSLYN!" I woke up, I was flabbergasted. I had such an amazing dream, yet I got woken up. "Finally, I have been trying to wake you up in ages. Get up and help me do some chores." she said. "Fiiiine." I sighed. I got up and went to shower to start the day off, put on some clothes and head downstairs to help my mom with chores. When I reached to mom, she gave me so many unbelievable chores to do, I felt so lazy to do anything as I prefer to just stay in bed. I still did it willingly(definitely). After it was all done, mom gave me some desert to reward my hard work. It was a delightful treat after all those chores. The treat was some chocolate cheesecake and coffee, it was mouth watering. "Oh yeah did you know, Yuu had moved out somewhere far away, yesterday was her last day here." mom said. Unexpected.....it was very unexpected. "Wait- what, how come she didn''t tell me about this, it is such an important matter yet I had no information of it. Where did she moved out to and Why?" I replied shockingly Mom were shocked too. She thought I had knew of this information since Yuu was my bestfriend, but yet I didn''t. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. "She moved out to New York." New York? That''s so far away, why didn''t she tell me this... we could''ve had more fun, memorable and special time together. Why? I was upset, my long time best friend has decided to left me without a single word. I felt betrayed. "What are you planning to do now because usually, you went hanging out with her." Without no words, I left the small little table that we were sitting at and went upstairs. The feelings I felt yesterday was true, that feelings of losing someone. I was filled with multiple emotions, anger, sadness, I couldn''t control all of them one by one. It felt like I might burst out crying anytime, but I decided to take a short nap. I locked the door, felt relieved as no one will bother me sleeping. "Hey, Roslyn." an unknown voice appeared out of nowhere. I opened my eyes and found myself to be in an another dimensions. "Who are you?" I replied. "It doesn''t matter who I am but if you still insist to know, I am ''??????????;?????????????.??????,????????????''???????????;????.??????????,???????????;???????''????????.???????,????????. ." I couldn''t comprehend what it''s name was. All I heard was gibberish. I shouldn''t care that much, this is a dream. It has to be... "So, what is it that you want from me?" "Are you sad? Angry? Or perhaps frustrated?" "I don''t know.....I''d rather not know and let the feelings slowly disappear into the horizons." my feelings were like a train that couldn''t be stop, a train that will drive through any walls. A train full of mixed emotions. "Look at you, always trying to ignore the negativity and cheer yourself up while being empty inside. It''s sad, that you got involved in an accident, your body is getting weaker despite being so young and now your best friend left you without a trace. So pitiful." "Shut up.....get out of my heads. now!" I woke up, astonished. I tried to comprehend what I just dreamt of but I can''t. All I know that it was me talking to someone or something. It pitied me, I couldn''t accept it. "Who or what was that?" Suddenly, *KNOCK!* *KNOCK!* Woah that surprised me. What''s that about? I heard mom voice. "Honey, are you there? Are you okay?" she asked worryingly. "Yes I am here mom and I am okay. Don''t worry about me." I replied. "Can you at least, maybe unlock the door for me?" she requested I went to unlocked the door, my mom rushed in and hugged me tightly. "Thank goodness you are okay. Don''t be sad, I''m here for you." I felt bad for making her worried about me to the state of crying. "I''m sorry for worrying you mom." "It''s fine honey. I''m just glad that you are fine." she replied. I''m still confused, trying to comprehend of what I dreamt but couldn''t. That dream was too weird, it felt too much like reality. It felt as if...I was talking to myself. I decided to head out after getting my mom''s permission. Went to the nearby cafe to cool myself down, it was my favorite cafe in the town. Mrs Chloe, the owner of the cafe, greeted me as I am a regular customer there. It was the only place other than home, that feels safe. A place where I can let out the feelings deep inside. "Last night, it was amazing. The stars that shone as bright as diamond and filled up the empty black skies. It was too good to be true." Do I want to be an artist? An artist who will let express my feelings, by using art. "Sounds great." I smiled.