《Why Not?》


 Why Not?

    I wake up.  It''s 3:30.  Little over an hour before my shift.  Take a shit, wash my hands, brush my teeth.  Heat up soup in the microwave, my only appliance.


    ¡°Why not kill someone?¡±


    I glance over.  I see a dark blob, sporting a wide grin.  I go to work.


    I get back at 11.  I heat up mac and cheese, in a can.  I turn on youtube, watching a video I¡¯ve seen many times.  I finish eating, and brush my teeth.  I crawl into bed, and watch a bit more.  I¡¯m tired...


    I wake up.  It''s 3:34.  Little over an hour before my shift.  Take a shit, wash my hands, brush my teeth.  I open canned green beans, and eat.  I don¡¯t want to, but if I don¡¯t I¡¯ll feel even worse.


    ¡°Why not kill someone?¡±


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    Blob, same grin.  I want to wrap myself up and crawl into bed, but I go to work instead.


    I get back at 11.  I open some canned peaches, one of my few luxuries.  I turn on youtube, see a new video in my subscription box, and watch it.  It barely fills me.  I finish eating, and brush my teeth.  I crawl into bed.  I¡¯m still tired.


    I wake up.  It''s 3:25.  Little over an hour before my shift.  Take a shit, wash my hands, brush my teeth.  I stare into the mirror.


    ¡°Hey.  Why not kill someone?¡±


    I don¡¯t look, but I know he¡¯s not smiling.  I don¡¯t know what to say.  He waits patiently.  Staring into the mirror I see him in the corner, just outside the bathroom.


    ¡°I could never...  Bring myself to kill another person.¡±


    ¡°You could never kill someone else, huh?¡±


    He¡¯s right.  I know he¡¯s right.  It''s tempting, but instead I go to work.