《Depending》 Chapter 1 ¡°Gin, do you ever think that maybe you are too scared to do something and don''t even know how to do it?¡± Grace stares past me and continues ¡°So you end up doing the opposite and after a while you realize you¡¯re just hurting yourself? And maybe those around you¡± Watching the Rugrats Special, lights dim and the bedroom door crack open. If not, her parents would kill me. Our days are usually quiet and chill, hardly any drama unless she starts complaining about her boyfriends, but this is a first. Everything seemed fine when we walked home and even chatted awhile before watching the special. I¡¯m trying to think, when did she get so caught up in her own head. I slowly lift my head up from her lap to have a closer at her face. The TV¡¯s light reflects on her face. I don¡¯t understand her question, should I ask more or leave it? I want to reach out to her and comfort her in a way she won¡¯t have to question and feel insecure. Would she disregard me for the feelings I have? She¡­. Instantly a chill creeps up when their doorbell rings from downstairs. Crap! ¡°Grace what time is it?¡± I say pausing on what she said. Grace leans back to glance at her phone. ¡°Hmmm... 6:30. Do you have to go somewhere?¡± Grace says puzzled. ¡°Shit! I need to grab ma before they start hackling like hyenas,¡± I say jumping out of bed. Our families have been neighbors and friends for years. Grace and I have been going to the same schools too. Which means our moms use us as an excuse to hang out and chat for hours. And I mean like high school kids drinking and partying but their two middle age women. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Tv¡¯s still on in the background, I march over to the door and toss my backpack over my shoulder. ¡°Haha! It''s true they love talking to each other.¡± Grace says sluggishly. For a split second Grace¡¯s face changes as if she is having an internal battle and suppressing them wins. ¡°Well let''s get your mom. Starting tomorrow we won''t be able to go to school together in the mornings. I''ll be with my boyfriend, he doesn''t like how close we are,¡± Grace says plasting on a half smile. ¡°What?!¡± I yell. I accept not being any closer to her than just a best friend, but this sounds as if I¡¯m not even allowed to even be that. ¡°Gin! It''s time to go! ¡°Mom yells from downstairs. ¡°Oh, hey Stella, how are you?¡± Crap! Mom is getting ready to settle in for a long chat. ¡°I''ll talk to you later. Ima grab mom before they start¡± I say opening her door, taking the opportunity to collect myself. ¡°Great idea, I''ll help too. My mom isn''t much help either¡± Grace says giggling to herself, walking towards the door from the bed. She has such a beautiful smile. I just sometimes wish I could take a photo of it. For a second, I forgot what we were about to do. ¡°Are you coming?¡± Grace says, already halfway down the stairs. ¡°Yeah, sorry!¡± I say running downstairs right behind her. ¡°Mom lets go- I¡¯m hungry!¡± I say holding my stomach; this tactic worked before, hopefully it will work again. ¡°Ha-ha, look at Gin acting like a child! You would have never thought he can cook for himself,¡± Mom says laughing with Stella. I begin to blush. ¡°Mom let¡¯s gooo,¡± I say glancing at the door. ¡°Hahaha! Let me tell you Grace is the same way! I wonder if it¡¯s because we spoil them too much,¡± Stella says, clapping in laughter. ¡°Mom!¡± Grace says in a hushed voice, blushing. ¡°Okay, okay. I guess the kids hate it when we chat. I''ll see you in the morning Stella,¡± Mom says getting up from her chair. ¡°Have a nice night!¡± Stella says waving mom and I goodbye. ¡°Sorry, bye!¡± I say to Grace in a low whisper. Ch 2 ¡°Mom!¡± I whine as soon as we¡¯re out of sight, ¡°but seriously though, what are we having for dinner?¡± ¡°Son, you spent countless hours there. I don''t understand why you don''t just eat there,¡± Mom says glaring at me. Mom locks the door behind us after we walk into the house. ¡°I can''t just eat their food,¡± I tell mom. ¡°You did that as a kid,¡± mom says over her shoulder, heading to the couch. ¡°Well, I''m not a kid anymore and it''s rude!¡± I say heading to the kitchen. I look around the kitchen and shout, ¡°Mom where''s the food!¡± ¡°I''ve told you, feed yourself!¡± Mom shouts, sinking into the couch. I sigh, rolling my eyes. ¡°Mom, seriously!¡± ¡°It''s in the fridge! Man, if I don''t cook you act like a chicken with his head cut off,¡± Mom says, turning on the TV. I swing open the fridge with excitement, finding beans and rice in a container sitting on the top shelf. ¡°Thanks, Mom, love you! I¡¯m gonna eat and go study,¡± I say stuffing rice and beans in my mouth. ¡°Yeah, yeah. I might just fall asleep on the couch. Work was not pretty today,¡± Mom says laying down on the couch. ¡°Work is never pretty for you,¡± I say walking towards my room. ¡°Haha, goodnight.¡± Mom laughs, lowering the volume on the tv. Mom is a nurse and luckily today she had a morning shift. She usually doesn''t cook for me, I tend to try to cook something quick when she has night shifts. But when she has morning shifts it always feels as if we at a buffet. Opening the door to my room, my phone buzzes as soon as I step inside. It¡¯s Grace texting me ¡®goodnight¡¯. I sigh walking into my room, placing the container on the bed to text her back. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! A few minutes later, laying on my bed, eating beans and rice, I try to remember when it first started, me falling for her. ¡®Mmm. Maybe kindergarten?¡¯ I whisper. She used to be very feisty and outgoing. She never let anyone push her around. And I was the type of kid who always wanted to test that. I loved the way I could tease her, and she knew how to get me back, and never failed to fight back. I later grew to just be attached to her. Like a fly hanging around a Venus flytrap. And I did not care how trapped I was, I just loved being around her. ---- ¡°Hey,¡± Grace texted, ¡°Sorry, I can¡¯t walk to school or home with you, but I¡¯ll make it up later¡± ¡°Son, get off your butt and go to school,¡± Mom says from the other side of the door. ¡°I hear ya I hear ya. But can¡¯t I skip today?¡± I say with sadness in my voice. ¡°What?!¡± Mom yelling through the door. ¡°Nothing¡­ I''m getting dress¡± I quickly get up to get ready. Mom hates it when I skip school. Like ¡°school is very important, if I hadn''t made mistakes back in the day we would be living an easier life. For your future, you need to focus on¡­..¡± Blah, blah heard it too many times. Plus, she usually finds me when I do, like she has a GPS on me. School ends in a lonely silent kind of way. Grace and I are in the same class but instead of hanging out with me. She has been texting and spending her lunchtime with her new boyfriend. It¡¯s like I have been forgotten; what made it even worse was the fact that they were walking in front of me, heading home. I just hope they don¡¯t last long; I don''t know how long I can handle this. ¡­¡­. Lying in bed imagining every little thing Grace and her new boyfriend are doing right now. My phone buzzes. ¡°Hey!¡± a text message shows up. Ugh! It''s Mel she has a thing for me and hates grace. I''ve told her more than once that I am not into her, but she seems to not get it. Another message pops up right after ¡°Hey!! Me and the guys are heading to the movies¡± ¡°Okay? Have fun¡± I text back. ¡°Noooo!!!! Come on! It''ll be fun, it''s the new Fight Fight O.K.¡± another message follows ¡°I''ll pay for your ticket¡± Mel texts in all caps. Minutes pass, I don''t answer. ¡°Free food¡± ¡°???¡± Mel text ¡°Fine¡­ Only for the food¡± I text back, feeling annoyed Plus, there isn¡¯t another option since Grace is busy with her new boyfriend. I will message grace before leaving though. ¡°Hey, I''m heading out to hang with friends. We¡¯re going to watch a movie. Message me if you want to come or if you need anything¡± I know it sounds desperate, but I keep myself available for her. Hoping for her to want my company. Ch 3 Arriving at the movie theater. I see Mel waiting outside. She looks over at me with a huge smile ¡°Hey, you made it! The guys are inside playing at the arcade¡± Mel says pointing behind her. ¡°Mhmm- okay. Then let¡¯s get inside,¡± I say looking around I follow Mel inside; She pays for our tickets and buys me a few snacks. We played at the arcade for what felt like an hour and headed over to watch the movie. ¡°Hey, do you mind if I sit next to you? Hade sleeps through movies,¡± Mel says arching her back to not disturb those behind us. ¡°If you want,¡± I say, regretting it later. An hour and a half into the movie, Mel would not stop taking glances at me. Which was starting to make me uncomfortable. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to escape. Another hour passes: I left the bathroom and called Stella since mom is at work to pick me up. While waiting I hear people coming out of the movie theater talking about the different movies they have just watched. I guess the movies are over. ¡°Hey, Gin! Are you okay? You never came back,¡± Mel spotting me sitting on the curb outside ¡°Yeah, my stomach hurts. Ima just head home. Thanks for the invite,¡± I say faking my illness. ¡°Okay, do you want me to come with you? I don¡¯t want you to get hurt or anything,¡± Mel bending down in concern for me. She just never stops! ¡°Ugh¡­ no. I just need to go now. Plus, I already called my mom,¡± I insist, getting up from the curb. ¡°Gin! I¡¯m here¡± Stella calls out to me from the car window. ¡°Well, that¡¯s my ride- Bye!¡± I say with an instant burst of energy running to the car. Thank god, she got here just in time. ¡°Oh, um bye,¡± Mel says standing there awkwardly. Hopping into Stella¡¯s car, Stella shocks her head watching me buckle up. ¡°Sir you owe me,¡± Stella says, raising her eyebrow. ¡°Yeah, yeah, I know. I just really needed to leave,¡± I say looking out the window ¡°Was it that bad?¡± Stella says driving away from the theater. ¡°Yeah- Ummm... how¡¯s Grace?¡± I say not making eye contact She glances over grinning, ¡°She¡¯s fine. I told her I was picking you up. Soo ¡­ I¡¯m guessing she¡¯s waiting for us at home¡± Stella winks ¡°What about her boyfriend?¡± I say trying to hide the jealousness in my voice. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about him. To me, he¡¯s temporary until she figures out her feelings for you¡± Stella says laughing I blushed to a tomato. I can¡¯t even feel my face! ¡°What?! I- Who-¡± I say flustered ¡°Sweetheart, I love you the both of you guys and I mean, what do the kids say nowadays ¡®I ship it!¡¯¡± Stella says patting my back with one hand and steering with the other. ¡°Oh, my goodness!¡± I say bearing my face in my hands. Stella laughs ¡°Awe sooo cute!¡± With my face still hot and red, Stella makes a few turns and We arrive at their home. ¡°Are you coming in to say ¡®hi¡¯ or going home?¡± Stella says parking the car in their garage. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°I think I¡¯m just going to go home. Thank you for picking me up¡± I say grabbing my things and unbuckling my seat belt. ¡°Anytime sweetheart, do not forget what we talked about. You go and fight for what you want. I¡¯m rooting for you. Plus, you all are seniors and I do not know where she wants to go or where you want to go. I do not want you guys to miss any chances¡± Stella gives a gentle smile both sad and warm. ¡°Thanks, but it¡¯s easier said than done¡± I state in heartache. Stepping out of the car, waiting and watching Stella getting out. ¡°True but that¡¯s up to you. Goodnight dear!¡± Stella says before heading to her door. ¡°Goodnight,¡± I say turning towards home. Walking home I start thinking hard about Stella¡¯s words. It is true I don¡¯t want to miss this opportunity, but I don¡¯t mind where we are in our relationship right now. Right? ----- Morning rises, and I have not had an inch of sleep. I have been pondering over Stella¡¯s words and clearing my thoughts on what to do next. Grace will hate me if I try to sabotage her current relationship. ¡°Morning Gin! I just made breakfast. You will have to make your own lunch though. I just got back from an insane night. I¡¯ll tell you about it when you get home. Love you, Ima sleep¡± Mom yells from my door. ¡°Okay, Love you too¡± I yelled back After breakfast, I lock the front door and make my way to school. ¡°Hey, Gin!¡± My heart skips a beat, stopping in my tracks. I know exactly who that voice belongs to. ¡°Hey, Grace,¡± I say, feeling a little bit excited. I turn around to wave but once I turn, I regret even turning. I take in a deep breath ¡°Hello, you must be the boyfriend¡± I say looking away. ¡°Oh, Gin stop I told you about him,¡± Grace says trying to liven up the atmosphere. ¡°Hey¡± Brad says with an awkward silence that follows ¡°Okay¡­ nice to meet you but we are probably going to be late for school. Ummm¡­ I¡¯ll run ahead. See ya,¡± I say darting in embarrassment. Grace''s face changes into a frown. Mhmm¡­ I can¡¯t help but want to comfort her, but it is not my place, right? ¡°Okay, umm¡­ bye,¡± Grace says ¡°Yeah,¡± Brad says, rolling his eyes. Without looking back, I continue my jog. My heart aches the farther I¡¯m away from her. I cannot change who she is interested in but only admire from a safe distance. ----- School ends with another painful day passing. I arrive home, finding mom in the kitchen. ¡°Hey? No work today?¡± I question, slowly placing my backpack on the kitchen table, looking around at the mess that has been made in the kitchen. ¡°Nope! Today is a free day!! Stella and I planned a family dinner,¡± Mom says, shaking her hips to a beat I can¡¯t hear. ¡°Mom we aren¡¯t their family, you can¡¯t keep calling those dinners family dinners,¡± I say grabbing a broom from the hall closet. ¡°Boy, go get change. I¡¯m almost done with the Mac and Cheese then we''ll head over,¡± Mom insisted, taking the broom out of my hand and pushing me towards my room. Stella and Mom act like long-lost sisters. Sure, we have been neighbors for years, but man there¡¯s no separating them, they¡¯ll find any excuse to hang out with each other. Truth be told I don¡¯t mind. I don¡¯t enjoy the family aspect of it. Taking off my shirt I find cheese shuck to the back of it. Thanks, Mom! After changing into a T-shirt and jeans, Mom¡¯s voice echoes the house. ¡°Gin! Come help me carry this over,¡± mom yells from the kitchen. ¡°I¡¯m coming! I¡¯m coming!¡± I echo back, struggling to put on my shoes. Once we walk outside, I begin to feel butterflies in my stomach, I have not talked to Grace since this morning. I¡¯m nervous! ¡°Mom, can we skip just today?¡± I whine shifting my weight from side to side. ¡°Boy, you know damn well my off days are not easy to come by. Keep walking! Stop wasting my time,¡± Mom growls at me. ¡°Ugh...¡± My butterflies start getting intense. Ugh... I feel the urge to vomit. We walk through Grace''s family¡¯s front door. ¡°Hey, we¡¯re in the kitchen. Dinner is almost done¡± Stella shouts ¡°That¡¯s fine. We brought Mac and Cheese¡± Mom says ushering me towards the kitchen. Looking around, I don¡¯t see Grace. Usually, she¡¯s helping her mom. Is she in her room?