ã€ŠPrismã€‹


 Chapter 1

    ¡°Happy Birthday!¡±

    I grin through all the shouts. Everyone starts talking over each other, speaking and moving and launching congratulations all around. Ken even dumps a handful of confetti over me, forcing me to wave my hands around and brush it off my shoulders and out of my hair with a laugh.

    Mom comes up, wrapping me in a hug. ¡°My little boy''s finally becoming a man,¡± she says, suddenly tearing up.

    ¡°Cut it out, Mom,¡± I grumble, putting up a show of trying to pull away, but my Dad comes up right behind, and we pause.

    ¡°Sei, you''re an adult now, I expect you to act like it.¡± Yeah, way to bring the mood down, Dad...

    ¡°I''ll do my best,¡± I assure him anyway. I mean, I''m not a full adult for another six years anyway, but whatever.

    He thumps me on the shoulder, his hand big and heavy enough to hurt a little, but not enough to make me flinch. I''m used to this much after sixteen years of it. ¡°And by god, try to man up a little.¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡± You say that like it''s my fault...

    Eventually, I manage to get my parents to back off after assuring them repeatedly that I''m all packed and ready to head off to high school. I go tomorrow because of course my birthday is immediately before term starts.

    Ken''s lucky, his is in like a week, so he missed the cut-off. So instead of starting high school within days of the end of middle school, he got a whole year off. At least this means we get to be in the same class now, he was always a year ahead of me before.

    Ok, most people get a whole year off since there''s like a two week gap between the end of middle school and start of high school semesters, and only adults can go to high school for legal reasons, something about minors being required to live with guardians I think. So, it''s just that I have awful luck being born in that narrow sliver of time between the two.

    Trying not to worry about that too much, I remind myself that things will get better. Any day now...

    With a successful retreat from my parents, I to flop down into a seat by the table, grabbing my cup and taking a long drought of cola, almost emptying it in one go.

    ¡°So, how''s it feel to join us in the adult world?¡± Jen asks with her signature, shit-eating grin.

    ¡°I feel taller.¡± I deadpan back.

    ¡°Oof,¡± she plays at holding a hand over her heart like she''s in pain. We all share a laugh, then settle into our usual chatting and banter. For the most part, we''re all excited to start high school. Them moreso than me, since they''ve had months, or in Ken''s case, almost a full year off. He''s nearly seventeen already because of it.

    ¡°So, romance, romance!¡± Jen suddenly chimes excitedly. ¡°Do either of you have eyes on any of the girls?¡±

    ¡°Hah? We haven''t even found out who''s in our class yet!¡± Ken balks.

    ¡°Yeah, there are gonna be so many new faces,¡± I add in. Middle school was just Ferrvale, high school is all of Meridan county. That covers all of Jostole and Teekton just to start, both of which are bigger than Ferrvale is, so chances are, everyone we know will be all split up into different classes. She already knows this, why is she asking dumb questions?

    ¡°Ahh, who cares!¡± Jen waves her hands. ¡°We''re finally adults, I want to get a boyfriend!¡±

    ¡°You and me both,¡± Ken agrees solemnly. When he catches us both smiling and trying not to laugh, he snarks, ¡°Oh, you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°What about Runa-chan?¡± Jen asks, voice dropping lower, and directing all of our eyes over to her, sitting on my family''s couch, ringed in on both sides by her parents, the Danns. She''s pretty much always been miss perfect. With her gorgeous black hair, sexy curves, those big boobs...

    It comes again, that unpleasant stirring in my pants. I flush red, looking away in a fluster. I know the feeling, it''s exactly what the other guys described. Just feeling it assures me, I''m finally hitting puberty. About damn time! The shit I''ve gotten from my Dad for these last years over not changing, and from the other kids ever since I was young, all because of how I am...

    ¡°Helooo, Miel to Seikooo, anyone hooommmee?¡± Jenna waves a hand around in front of me, finally catching my attention.

    ¡°A-ahh, sorry. What were you saying?¡±

    ¡°You''re all red, what''s up?¡± she questions, leaning in closer, eyes boring into mine like a predator.

    My hands go up defensively. ¡°N-nothing, I''m good.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, is our little Sei finally getting interested in girls?¡± she practically purrs, leaning in even closer, putting her own chest directly in my line of sight. She hasn''t really grown much there herself, and it''s just Jen, so I purposely cross my arms and huff, turning my head away.

    ¡°Awwwww...¡± She doesn''t even have to say anything else for me to know what she''s thinking.

    ¡°Come on Jen, back off,¡± Ken finally steps in with a tired sigh.

    ¡°But he''s so cute when he pouts...¡± There''s a silent look between them, then she pouts too. ¡°Ok, fine... Come here, Sei.¡± And she gives me a hug. Even that reminds me that she has like fifteen centimeters on me, but I sigh and try to shrug it off. I''ll definitely shoot up now that my growth spurt should be coming.

    Still... releasing Jen, my gaze wanders over to Ken. The guy comes from a family of giants. He''s like a hundred eighty five centimeters tall already. At a hundred forty five, I''m barely eye level with his chest. His brother''s practically a professional basketball player!

    I shake my head. I know he''s not the kind of person I should be comparing myself to. I can''t even dream of being as manly as Ken. As depressing as it is to say, I probably don''t even reach Jen''s level right now...

    Still, it''s not like I need to worry about it, I tell myself. I''ll start growing any day now, all I have to do is wait and let nature take its course. It''ll make me into the man I''m supposed to be.

    <hr>

    ¡°Meridan County High School. Arriving at Meridan County High School.¡± Even the generically female, synthesized voice that drones over the intercom sounds bored somehow, as the shuttle pulls up to the curb, and we all pile off in a herd. I stretch and yawn after so long cooped up on the ride all the way out here. Not a trip I''d want to make regularly. At least it means I''ll only have to go home on holidays.

    With the shuttle pulling away behind us, we all start to disperse away from the road. The building that meets us is downright daunting. Five, six stories of vaguely teal, cheap-ass funky reinforced concrete-polymer stuff that they started making a lot of these buildings from a few decades back.

    Even at its height, it still sprawls all across the surrounding campus like some sort of labyrinth. Ugh, I''m going to need a map to get around, won''t I?

    ¡°Oh, look at that,¡± I mumble, when the crowd clears around me enough to see. It''s a map. Ken is already heading that way, so I plod after him.

    ¡°We''re supposed to go to drop our stuff in our classroom, then head to the opening ceremony, right?¡± he asks for a reminder, and I confirm while shaking myself more awake. ¡°Alright, then...¡± Approaching the big, old-fashioned standing map, encased in black and clear plastics, he starts to figure out where we are. I stand back since other new students, all significantly larger than me, are also moving in to crowd around it.

    For now, I grab my mobile and pull up maps. A place as big as this should have their floor plan available, right? ¡°Yes!¡± I clench my fist when it comes up. Now, if only I could actually use it inside... The junk they build these places with absolutely demolishes sat signal. I''d have to get near a window first.

    With a dejected sigh, I slide the little, indestructible plastic brick back into my pocket. I''ll just have to follow Ken, I guess. Once he has an idea of our location, he points, and we head off. It''s not too long before we arrive where we need to be, at one of the huge boards staked up in the middle of the lawn, listing all of the class assignments. We migrate to the far end with the first year classes, and start to scan for our names.

    Where is it, where is it...

    Ah, there! Seiko Maka, class 1-C. Now what about the others...? Oh, nice! Kentan Yono, same class!

    ¡°Aww, damn...¡± a familiar voice comes from behind. When I turn, it''s Jen. Searching the board for a little longer, I finally spot it. Jenna Corro, class 1-D. So we won''t be together after all...

    ¡°Hey, don''t worry about it,¡± comes another voice I recognize, and I turn back to see Finn slouch himself onto Jen, an arm hanging over her shoulders. ¡°Look at the bright side, we''re in the same class this year.¡±

    ¡°It''s nice to see you again too, Olrick-san,¡± she greets him coldly, but doesn''t really put any venom in her tone, even as she shrugs his arm off.

    ¡°Don''t be like that, babe,¡± he chuckles while I walk over toward them, waving a hand to get their attention. ¡°Waa! Sei-chan!¡± Finn gasps exaggeratedly, and pounces on me. Shifting my head, I bury it in his chest with a thud, and he lets out a grunt, his body flopping over me.

    ¡°Finn-san, you''re heavy,¡± I complain when he leans his entire body weight on me.

    ¡°Come on, off of him,¡± Jen gives him a swat, then pulls him off, and he ends up rubbing both his chest and the back of his head with a pained expression.

    ¡°You guys are no fun...¡± he pouts, thrusting his bottom lip out so he looks like a goof, and we all crack up.

    ¡°Hey, having all this fun without me?¡± Ken calls as he comes over. ¡°Hey, Finn-san, how''s it going?¡± They bump fists.

    ¡°Not bad, I''m in class D.¡±

    ¡°Oh, too bad, we''re class C.¡±

    ¡°I''m D too,¡± Jen volunteers with a frown and a sad sigh. ¡°With this clown,¡± and stabs a thumb at Finn.

    ¡°Don''t worry, you''re right next door. We''ll still see each other on breaks, right?¡± Ken says.

    ¡°Oh yeah, that''s not so bad,¡± she perks up a little. ¡°Well, let''s get going, I think the opening ceremony starts soon.¡±

    With calls of approval, the four of us head toward the school. All around, it''s a buzz of activity. Students flowing in every direction, some in groups, some flying solo. And lots and lots of them looking around, utterly lost. More than once, our group is among them.

    Thankfully, there are upperclassmen around to help provide directions. It''s easy to tell them apart too. We all have green ties and ribbons on our uniforms as first years, while the yellow, blue, and red are for older students.

    We''re around the second southwest wing, fourth floor, when we finally find our own classes. ¡°There, they really do exist,¡± Jen groans when the signs come into sight. Like we thought, 1-C and 1-D are right next door to each other. Or rather, across the hall from each other, technically. After we pass 1-A and 1-B, they''re on either side, 1-C on our right, 1-D on our left. Just beyond them, the hall ends, with a stair well on the right hand side.

    We all break up briefly into our classes, and deposit our bags in rows of numbered lockers at the back of the room. There are actually a few people inside already, but when one girl with long silver hair suddenly glares at me, I quickly lower my gaze and try to finish up quickly. We meet up with our friends in the hall shortly after, and fight once more to find our way toward our destination: the sports field where they''re holding the opening ceremony.

    <hr>

    I fall into my seat with a heavy sigh. None of us expected the opening ceremony to be that boring. I almost fell asleep standing up a few times. Finn did, and one of the teachers dragged him off to give him a talking to...

    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    ¡°Hey, this isn''t too bad,¡± Ken says from his seat. However the student numbers were organized, we both wound up with window seats, far left side of the room. I''m in the second row, desk six, while he''s two behind me, desk sixteen. Not too bad. We chat for a bit, before a guy with short black hair and a book in hand arrives and takes the desk between us.

    I gulp nervously. Come on, this is high school. I''m becoming a man, I have to have some guts...

    ¡°Umm, excuse me?¡± I speak up.

    ¡°Mm?¡± Just that gives me the impression that he doesn''t want to talk to me, but I tell myself I must be imagining it and push on anyway.

    ¡°Hi, I''m Seiko Maka, it''s nice to meet you.¡±

    ¡°Trace Gon, nice to meet you,¡± he responds in kind.

    Pushing through my awkwardness, I ask, ¡°Gon-san, if it wouldn''t bother you too much, could we switch seats during breaks?¡±

    Immediately getting my meaning, he turns back to look at Ken, who offers a small smile. ¡°Sure, no problem,¡± he responds easily, and gets up so we can swap.

    ¡°Thanks a lot,¡± I say as I take his seat.

    ¡°Don''t sweat it.¡± With that, he opens up his book and starts reading. Turning back to Ken, I let out a small, relieved sigh. I can''t believe that worked!

    ¡°Good job, Sei,¡± he praises me with a thumbs up, and I beam at him proudly. Yes, I''m an adult now, things will be different.

    <hr>

    It''s a short day, with half length classes and no gym. Mostly just time for the teachers and students to all get acquainted. Jen and Finn don''t come over, so they''re probably working to get to know their own classmates today. We do pretty much the same, going through introduction after introduction with our new teachers, and I jot down names, trying to remember them.

    Between classes, Gon disappears immediately. I guess he has friends in other classes and isn''t really interested in knowing this one. It leaves his seat free though, so at least I''m not bothering him wanting to switch all the time. Similarly, a bunch of other students leave, while others arrive here from their classes. During one break, two purple haired girls from our class come over. They''ve been going around greeting everyone, so I guess it''s our turn?

    It''s a rather odd sight though, the short one, hardly even taller than me, is enthusiastically dragging along the taller one, almost Ken''s size. Despite her short height, she''s got a really nice figure, visible even under her school uniform, with these long pigtails most of the way down her back.

    ¡°Hey, I''m Lucy Miki, my friend here is Amari Jann! It''s nice to meet you!¡± she barrels right through their introductions.

    ¡°Nice to meet you...¡± Jann parrots her quietly, bowing a little. With her height and slim figure, the motion immediately draws my eyes to her huge chest, before I force myself to look away.

    She doesn''t even wait to hear our names, she must already know them from our earlier introductions. ¡°So, how''s it going, Yono-kun?¡± she asks, and throws a hand out for a handshake, which he accepts while chuckling at her antics.

    ¡°Good, good.¡±

    ¡°How about you, Maka-chan?¡± she chirps, and throws her arms around me in a hug. The move presses her breasts right into my face, my heart immediately thundering and my body reacting before I shove my hands down and clap my legs together to cover myself. Stupid body!

    When my words fail, Miki draws back. ¡°Huh? What''s wrong?¡± she asks when she sees my face.

    Grabbing her by the arm, Ken interjects. ¡°Uhh, Sei''s a guy, so...¡±

    ¡°Eh?!¡± Miki lurches back for just a moment, then immediately leans in and slaps her hands flat on my chest.

    ¡°Eee!¡± I let out a strangled gasp, face on fire from ear to ear, and my hands come up automatically to knock hers away, before wrapping around myself protectively. I lower my head and grit my teeth, trying desperately not to cry. I don''t have anything there, why do people treat me like this?!

    ¡°Miki-san,¡± Ken''s voice comes low and dangerous. ¡°What are you doing to Sei?¡±

    ¡°Ah! I''m so sorry!¡± her hands flailing. ¡°I didn''t mean to, I moved without thinking! Umm, uhh, how about...¡± Spinning around to frantically dig through the bag hanging off Jann''s shoulder, she suddenly pulls out a stick of gum and offers it to me, whole body bowing deeply. ¡°A peace offering,¡± she says, dead serious.

    ¡°H-hey, that''s mine!¡± Jann exclaims quietly from behind in shock. Seeing Miki''s response, the way she apologized... It takes a few seconds to calm down, but I take the gum. She... doesn''t seem like a bad person. She didn''t mean anything by it, she was just surprised...

    ¡°Ok, I forgive you,¡± I sigh, then lean past the bowing Miki to give Jann back her gum.

    ¡°Oh, Maka-san,¡± Miki says quietly, leaning close, and I start to worry. She isn''t going to do something else, is she? ¡°Don''t overreact or anything, alright?¡± she whispers in my ear, moving even closer, blocking my view of the rest of the class. ¡°Nice and slow, just fix yourself, alright?¡± and moves her eyes downward to show what she means.

    With my attention going straight back to the tightness in my pants, I blush bright red, tears pushing at the corners of my eyes, but do as she says, and don''t immediately overreact. The way she''s standing, her body is blocking anyone from seeing.

    Stupid embarrassing body... Reaching down, I fix myself to avoid any more issues, and share a shaky smile with Miki, before she pats me on the head.

    ¡°I guess Maka-san is a boy after all. Sorry about the trouble. You can call me Lucy, alright?¡± she looks to both of us as she speaks.

    ¡°Sure, Lucy-chan,¡± I reply with a sigh, and Ken joins shortly after. Then Lucy throws both hands out, one for each of us to shake. When we take them, she shakes her hands up and down and asks, ¡°Friends?¡±

    I glance up at Ken, but he''s looking at me, obviously waiting on my answer. ¡°Yeah, friends,¡± I agree despite my reservations. Shortly after, the teacher arrives and we have to return to our seats for class.

    After that, Lucy and Jann join us during breaks, and after some prodding of her much more shy friend, we all wind up on a first name basis by the end of the day.

    Once the last bell rings, we sit for a bit longer while everyone packs up to head to their dorms. ¡°So, how do you two know each other anyway?¡± Ken asks, ¡°Not to be rude or anything, but it''s a surprise, I wouldn''t expect you two to mesh together so well.¡±

    ¡°Ah, we''re purple hair best friends!¡± Lucy claims with a big, goofy grin.

    ¡°E-excuse me?¡± Ken stammers.

    ¡°Purple...?¡± I mumble.

    Blushing deep red before she covers her face with her hands, Amari explains for her. ¡°When we were in kindergarten, Lucy grabbed me on the playground and said we were best friends because we both have purple hair...¡±

    ¡°A-ahh...¡± we both fail to respond to that.

    ¡°What about you?¡± Amari asks, hands still on her cheeks. ¡°How did you meet Sei-kun?¡±

    ¡°Well, about that...¡± Ken scratches a hand through his rough red hair, like he doesn''t know how to say it, so I speak up.

    ¡°Ken saved me from bullies as a kid.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I''m sorry...¡±

    ¡°N-no, it''s fine, it was... a long time ago...¡± I wrap an arm around myself anxiously when I think about it, looking off to the left automatically. That''s when I see him. Spiky blond hair and a sloppy uniform. Only a hair shorter than Ken.

    Bolin Vance.

    He''s been gone every break today, but now, he''s coming our way. He pushes past the black haired beauty Vicca, coming right toward my desk.

    Ken is already halfway out of his seat when Vance stops, leaning one hand down on the front corner of my desk. ¡°Hey there, Seiko-chan,¡± I recoil, arms clutching tighter around myself. ¡°Didn''t see you earlier. You''re still so tiny, I missed you completely. It''s been a while, but you''re still just as cute as I remember.¡±

    I can''t speak, I''m suffocating. With one step closer, his fingers trail lightly over my desk, and I squeeze my arms tighter around my chest. Not him. Not now. I can''t.

    Don''t cry, don''t cry, don''t cry... Even with Ken right at my shoulder, I''m paralyzed.

    ¡°So, Seiko-chan...¡± his voice drops lower, and I quiver, tears forming. ¡°Has your dick fallen off yet?¡±

    ¡°Asshole!¡± Ken immediately snaps, lurching forward to snatch his collar up in one hand. ¡°Leave Sei alone!¡± Even at nearly the same height, Ken is much more built, his strong hands pulling Vance almost up off his feet.

    But even when Ken draws a hand back threateningly, Vance just smirks. ¡°What are you going to do, hit me? In front of all these witnesses?¡± And he waves at the room of staring, half-packed up students around us. ¡°Remember, we''re adults now, Ken. I''ll press charges. You remember who my Dad is, right?¡±

    ¡°Tch!¡± Ken grunts, face screwed up in anger, and his fist clenches so tight his knuckles go white. I can''t breathe, but I can''t let him get in trouble like that! Jolting up out of my seat, I grab Ken''s arm.

    ¡°Please, don''t do it!¡± I plead. Ken grits his teeth, then drops his hand. When his arms fall to his sides, Vance takes advantage of that moment to thrust a hand out at me. I''m still holding onto Ken''s arm, and don''t have any time to react.

    He''s going to touch me.

    My eyes squeeze shut, entire body freezing in horror, but the hand never comes. I finally squint an eye open, to see that a girl caught him by the shoulder. Looking up at her, it''s Leona Vicca. Tall and strong, with her black hair chopped into a short pixie cut, she is all leg, and looks like a supermodel, even in her school uniform. By far the most beautiful woman in our class.

    The look on her face though, the withering glare and aura of command, make me feel even smaller than usual.

    When she speaks, my stomach is in knots. ¡°I will not permit such conduct within my sight. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°What? We''re just some guys messing around-¡±

    ¡°I said. Do. You. Understand.¡± Then, she flares, a brilliant glow of purple spreading from her irises, like a pool of light spilling from her eyes, and every sound stops dead. No one even dares to breathe before her.

    A few moments drag on and on, every eye in the room nailed to the sudden, impossible appearance before us.

    A Psion.

    ¡°Yes.¡± That is the only word Vance can force out. He can''t even look at her.

    Turning on a heel, Vicca grabs her bag and sweeps out of the room, other students throwing themselves out of her way as she passes by. Even after she leaves the room, everyone continues to stare at the door for a while, before there is a collective intake of breath.

    I pant for a couple seconds, starting to shake. I think most of the class does.

    Holy shit we have a psion in our class?! It''s so different from the movies!

    That''s when I smell it, and my eyes move to Vance on the floor. He pissed himself. I''m not surprised, I would have too. I might have a little... Still, seeing him like that makes me feel a tiny bit better...

    Eventually, everyone recovers, and starts heading out, Vance being the first one to run off. I really hope that puts an end to his bullying. He never had the guts to bully me after Ken and Jen beat him up in middle school. He must have thought things would be different here since we''re adults now.

    I wish I never had to see his awful fucking face ever again...

    Word is already spreading about what happened. Tiny whispers, but I keep hearing the same words. Vicca, and psion.

    While the four of us are shakily gathering our things, Jen shows up from the next class over. She has Runa and Finn trailing behind her too. ¡°Woah, what happened here?¡± is the first thing she asks when she sees our shocked expressions.

    ¡°We have a psion in our class, Leona Vicca. She stopped Vance from bullying Sei.¡± Ken''s flat, matter of fact reply sends all their eyes open wide, but it''s Jen who responds just a moment later.

    ¡°Leona Vicca? From the Vicca family?¡± she gapes, but when it''s clear no one else knows what she''s talking about, she snaps at us. ¡°We did that report on the Vicca''s, remember? They''re a powerful family of psions from the military!¡±

    ¡°A-ah, did we do something like that...?¡± Ken replies uncertainly.

    Blowing out an annoyed breath, Jen looks over our group. ¡°Yes, we did. If she''s in your class, she probably just got back from her military service. Scary...¡± Even Jen shudders at the thought, then immediately tries changing the topic. ¡°So, who are the new girls?¡±

    Barely snapping out of their dazes, the two girls introduce themselves, and Jen responds, ¡°Jenna Corro. If you''re friends of these dorks, you''re friends of mine. Call me Jenna.¡±

    ¡°Sure, you can call me Lucy, Jenna-san.¡± Lucy still looks a little shaken up when she speaks.

    ¡°Amari,¡± the shy one says, pressing a hand to her chest. ¡°You can call me Amari.¡±

    Smiling kindly, Jen draws the girls into a hug. ¡°Good to meet you, Lucy-chan, Amari-chan.¡± Then she pulls Finn and Runa into the conversation, and gets everyone introduced to each other.

    While they''re all talking, my eyes drift up toward where Vicca was standing earlier. Still in a shocked stupor, like a buzz in my head, I shift a step forward, gaze glued to the odd little something hanging in the air. Like a smudge of... stuff.

    There''s a color without color. No reflection or refraction of light. Just... something. I can''t so much see it as see it. It''s up above my head, so I wave a hand slowly toward it.

    I feel it. Everything and everyone. Forever. Then it''s gone.

    I blink a few times, before Ken wraps an arm around me from the side and pulls me back toward the others.

    They''re finishing up with the introductions. As soon as they''re done, Jen snaps her fingers at the two of us, and goes on, ¡°Come on boys, can''t sit there forever. Let''s get back to the dorms. I want to see my new room.¡±

    ¡°S-sure...¡± I mumble. My thoughts are still a complete mess after everything that happened. I thought things could be different here. So why...?

    We all walk back to the dorms, everyone chatting, especially Jen and Lucy, who are already bouncing off each other like the best of friends. Even Finn manages to get Amari out of her shell a little and they speak quietly, Amari giggling once in a while.

    I hang back with Ken and Runa, a couple steps behind the others. ¡°Rough day?¡± Runa asks quietly. She tucks a loose strand of her long black hair behind her ear as she looks down at me, and I mimic the gesture automatically.

    ¡°Yeah, Vance-san,¡± I murmur. I feel sick. ¡°Why does he have to be so... so...¡±

    ¡°He''s a dick,¡± Ken grunts. ¡°He''s just a dick that likes to make people suffer.¡± With a grin, he jostles me by the shoulder. ¡°And all he has are words, even you could kick his ass. You shouldn''t let him get to you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you''re right. Thanks Ken.¡± That''s how I answer, but inside, my heart is sinking. I know Vance is just messing with me, he can''t do anything to me anymore. I know I should ignore him.

    I know that... that I need to just man up and forget about it all. But if I could do that, I would have done it years ago! How do you just ''man up?'' What the hell does that even mean?!

    Like always, I bury those thoughts deep down inside. I just have to wait. Once I grow up and become a man, I''m sure it will all make sense...

 Chapter 2

    ¡°Alright, see you guys tomorrow,¡± Jen calls as she and the other girls split off toward the girl''s dormitory. It''s one building, really, but split into two parts, for each gender.

    ¡°Come on, let''s head in,¡± Ken says, rolling his shoulders with a tired look. I keep following. As much as I try, I can''t shake off this funk. Maybe I just need some sleep. Tomorrow should be better. We started on a Friday so we have a nice early weekend. After going inside and checking the room assignments posted on a board, I''m glad to see that I''ll be rooming with Ken. We put the request in on our applications, but it''s still huge relief that I know I won''t be sharing a room with... anyone else.

    ¡°Third floor, room seventeen,¡± Ken says to the person running room signups. He swipes Ken''s mobile, records the scan of his hand, and waves him on, then I go through the same process, and Finn follows along behind.

    We head upstairs, waving as Finn splits off for his room on the second floor, then arrive in the third floor common room, where there are some guys talking. They stop when we walk in, then the first thing out of one''s mouth is, ¡°God damn man, you''re fast!¡±

    Huh? All three of them rush over our way. The one with the spiky green hair who spoke earlier grabs Ken and exclaims, ¡°Bringing back a girl on your first day, what a stud!¡±

    My heart races. Don''t cry, don''t cry, don''t cry...

    ¡°Hah? The hell are you talking about man? Sei''s my roommate.¡±

    ¡°Woah, seriously?¡± the guy backs off in shock. ¡°Sorry about that dude,¡± he tries grinning at me, bending down to get to my height, then offers me an apologetic fist bump. As I''m lowering my arm, he just has to go on. ¡°If you don''t want to get mistaken for a girl, why don''t you cut your hair?¡±

    ¡°My hair...?¡± I ask stupidly, most of my thoughts still forcing down the tears welling up from inside. I grab a lock, looking at it. It''s nice and smooth because I always take good care of it, and colored platinum blond, falling to the tops of my shoulders. That isn''t all that long, is it?

    ¡°I think... my hair makes me look cool. Like a rock star or something...¡± I mumble an answer. It''s the answer I''ve always given whenever my Dad told me to cut it. I don''t know, I just really like my hair...

    The man scratches his chin, his look saying loud and clear that he doesn''t get it. ¡°Well, you do you, I guess,¡± he shrugs it off. Then he claps one hand down on my shoulder and offers the other for a handshake. ¡°Andre Blumen, class 2-B.¡± So a second year. Right, he has a yellow tie...

    I take his hand and answer, ¡°Seiko Maka, class 1-C.¡±

    We go around, doing the rest of the introductions, before the three guys wave us on, directing us toward the hall where we''ll find our room. Moving past them, we look around for a bit. The common room has plenty of chairs, couches, and tables for lounging studying, gaming, whatever. There''s a kitchen with some counter space for eating attached to the common room, with a long bar and bar stools too. It looks really nice and roomy, actually.

    We peek into the bathroom, and it looks pretty big. It has a changing area, wash area, and an open bath, so it''s well suited for so many people living here. It would probably be really enjoyable, but I can''t shake the knot of worry about bathing with other people, especially guys who are all going to make fun of me...

    Thankfully, when we finally wander our way over to our room, it has a its own washroom, with a shower. At least I don''t have to use the bath if it makes me too uncomfortable...

    Our boxes are all stacked up in the doorway, and the furniture is already in place. A pair of beds, one on each wall, with empty dressers and bookshelves at the end. Desks for working between the beds, set up right in front of the window. And a little scrubby green floor rug in the middle of the faux wood floor. All in all, it looks pretty generic, probably what they have in all the dorm rooms.

    It''s sparse, but has plenty of room for each of us. All we do is point, at the same time, to claim our sides. Me on the left, him on the right. Laughing between us, we get to unpacking.

    <hr>

    My mood finally lifts as afternoon fades to night. We pull out all our stuff. His laptop, my computer. His books, my weights. His game console, and my TV projector. We negotiated on that one earlier, each of us saving up for one of the two so we would have both once we moved in here. He throws up the posters all around the room with a sloppy tape job, and I pull out my statuettes and plushies, organizing them on my bookshelves and bed.

    Then we get our computer stuff set up, along with the projector and game console. Since there isn''t anywhere else for it, we stick it to the ceiling so it points to the door out. Not the best solution, we''ll probably get a screen at some point to project onto. The console goes with the other computer stuff and Ken sets up the wireless link with the projector while I make the beds... as much as I can. I''m not really sure how, but I do my best.

    We talk and talk the entire time, about anything and everything. What we think of the school so far, how scary that psion was earlier, (and how hot she was). Actually, if she just came back from the military, that makes her older than us, doesn''t it?

    Once we bring that up, I mention how any adult can join, but if they delay for more than two years, they aren''t allowed to go to high school anymore because they''re too old. Which is ridiculous - high school is voluntary anyway, so there''s no good reason to have age limits like they do.

    ¡°Wait, seriously?¡± Ken balks.

    ¡°Yeah, my Mom was going on about it one day for some reason. Apparently it''s a serious problem and the government isn''t doing anything about it.¡± Of course, when Dad overheard, he claimed the military teaches you everything there is to know...

    ¡°Well no shit, aren''t they supposed to teach us like, how to actually be adults here? The hell are you going to do if you just skip all that?¡± Not to mention, no job wants to hire someone who doesn''t even bother to go to high school.

    ¡°Exactly.¡± We both shake our heads. God, our military is messed up. I actually feel kind of bad for Vicca now, having to join because of her family or whatever. Being a psion, it''s amazing she came back to high school at all...

    Sure enough, the night eventually winds down as we get all our stuff unpacked. When we''re basically done, Ken asks, ¡°We going to the bath or nah?¡±

    ¡°No, it''s late and I''m...¡± Hmm, ¡°Actually, let''s do that.¡± Since it''s so late, hopefully it will be empty.

    ¡°Sure, let''s go,¡± he shrugs.

    Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

    While Ken digs some extra boxers and a towel out of his dresser, I grab my bath stuff. On our way down the hall, he asks, ¡°What''s that?¡±

    ¡°Hmm? Bath stuff.¡± I lift the bag a little, and he just gives a questioning look, before shrugging and dropping it.

    As I expected, when we get to the bathroom, it''s deserted. We throw our clothes into a couple baskets, take our towels, and move over into the bath. When we sit down to wash off, Ken mutters, ¡°Huh, this is pretty new. Never really did public bathing before. I wonder what it''s like when it''s crowded...?¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± I try to sound unconcerned when I shrug, and start pulling my stuff out. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a scrubber...

    ¡°Uhh...¡± As I''m starting to lather with the shampoo, Ken''s confused voice draws my attention.

    I look over and ask, ¡°What?¡± Without meaning to, I catch sight of his penis as he rubs himself with a bar of soap.

    Immediately snapping my head in the other direction, I blush all the way to my hairline. I know he started puberty early, but what the hell was that? It''s- I mean, ok, he''s a huge guy in general, so I guess I shouldn''t be that surprised, but seriously!

    ¡°Sei?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah?¡±

    ¡°Come on, we''re both guys,¡± he laughs and slaps me on the back. ¡°Nothing to be that embarrassed about. You''re just a late bloomer.¡± An absurdly late bloomer...

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡± I mumble. I''ll definitely get more manly... As I get anxious about that, I keep working the shampoo into my hair, then rinse, and get started on the conditioner. I''m only up to scrubbing myself when Ken rinses off.

    Did he just... soap his hair...?

    With a dull horror, I watch him wash the soap out of his bright red hair, give it a shake, and it''s right back to its normal spiky look. H-how...?

    ¡°You almost done, dude?¡± he asks, looking me over.

    Even if it''s Ken, I still shy back under his gaze, answering, ¡°Y-yeah, almost. Just need to finish with this...¡±

    ¡°Alright, I''ll wait then.¡± Sitting on his stool, Ken spreads his legs and rests his elbows on his thighs, leaning over into a comfortable, if kind of weird posture... Trying to ignore that, I finish scrubbing myself with my body wash. I did it extra fast today since Ken''s waiting, so the conditioner didn''t have that long to soak in, but it should be good enough.

    Thinking as much, I rinse off, and stand up. ¡°Alright, done.¡± I throw my shower stuff back into my little bag and slide it off to the side of the room, grab my towel, and we both move over to the nice, hot open air bath.

    Sinking into it with a contented moan, I think how this is amazing. So much nicer than a little bath at home. I could get used to this... Ken slides in next to me, and we both sit there, enjoying the silence and soaking in the wonderful warmth of the water.

    Eventually, Ken lifts himself up out of the bath. I glance up at him, and manage not to give myself whiplash when I accidentally get a eyeful between his legs again. Don''t freak out, it''s just Ken, I tell myself. Still, I feel like after my Dad, he''s everything I''ve ever imagined when I think of a ''man.'' Sure, he''s not the most bulked up guy ever, but he''s still got the big arms, with thick, toned muscles that a man should.

    Meanwhile, I can bench press ten times my body weight, but I have no muscle to speak of. It doesn''t make any damn sense...

    ¡°You coming, or you want to stay longer?¡±

    I consider it. It''s so nice here, I want to soak more. But... it''s a bad idea. If anyone came in, I know it wouldn''t end well. So I stand. ¡°Yeah, coming.¡±

    I grab my shower bag on the way out, change into some fresh boxers, and hang my towel around the back of my neck. Once we''re out of the bathroom, the cooler air in the hall makes me shiver a little. Maybe I should change into heavier clothes after baths? Well, it''s spring right now, so it won''t be too bad once summer comes...

    We pass through the common room on the way back, and it turns out we aren''t the only people still up. ¡°Hey you, wrong dorm.¡± A guy sitting in a chair stands, dropping his book into the seat and staring at me, straight at my chest. I anxiously cover myself with my hanging towel, even as I tell myself there''s nothing for me to cover, and slide behind Ken. Can''t I even walk back to my room in peace?

    ¡°Right dorm, Sei is a guy,¡± Ken corrects, crossing his arms and planting his feet.

    ¡°Do you think I was born yesterday?¡± the man deadpans. ¡°If she gets caught here overnight, we''ll all get an earful you know.¡±

    ¡°I''m telling you, he''s a guy. We''re roommates,¡± Ken argues back. In response, the man hooks his hands on his hips and stares at me with a frown, not even responding. Why won''t he believe us...?

    ¡°I... I am a guy,¡± I tell him.

    ¡°Says the little girl hiding behind her boyfriend''s back,¡± he snaps back, and I flinch, my heart thundering.

    ¡°He''s not- I''m really a guy!¡±

    ¡°Uh huh.¡±

    ¡°I- I am!¡±

    ¡°Mm.¡±

    Why is this guy such an asshole?! ¡°Hey, Sei, chill,¡± Ken tries to calm me down, putting a hand on my shoulder.

    ¡°I... I...¡± I start to deflate. Don''t cry...

    ¡°Come on, you have nothing to prove to that dickhead. Let''s just go.¡± Pulling me forward, Ken shoulders past the asshole, and but we only make it to our hall before the guy calls out.

    ¡°Look how small she is. You know it''s illegal if she''s underage, right? I''m going to have to call the police.¡±

    ¡°The fuck-¡±

    ¡°I''m a boy!¡± shout over Ken. ¡°I... I have a fucking dick!¡±

    ¡°Pssh, yeah right,¡± he just brushes me off.

    Stalking forward, I think all of my feelings from today are overflowing at once. ¡°Why don''t you believe me, you piece of shit?!¡±

    He just raises an eyebrow and asks, ¡°Would you?¡±

    All my protests die in my throat. I should say ''yes,'' but I can''t. I''m supposed to be a guy, but instead, I''m like this...

    Squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears in, I scream through my clenched teeth, and yank down my boxers.

    ¡°The fu-¡± he stammers, but I don''t know or care about anything after that. With my whole body flushing red and ashamed, I pull them back up, then cry my way back to my room. I flail my hand at the reader to get the door to open and throw myself down on my bed, grabbing a plushy and squeezing it to my chest while I cry.

    I hate this. Why did I think it would be any different here? Who cares if I''m an adult now, I''m never going to be the man I''m supposed to be. I''ll never be the strong, manly man my parents want, no matter how much I try. No matter how much I trained, it never made any difference! My body won''t be the way it''s supposed to be!

    Sobbing into my hands, I feel a hand gently patting me on the back. I don''t know when the last time was Ken had to comfort me like this. I tried not to cry. I always tried not to cry because men shouldn''t cry, but I couldn''t do that either...

    My parents would be so disappointed with me. No matter what I''ve done, I''ve never lived up to what I''m supposed to be... Why is it always like this?

    I wish I could just be a girl instead, then no one would tell me to be a boy.

    Eventually, my cries die down to sniffles. My head is foggy. ¡°Don''t worry, Sei, it''ll be alright. You just need more time, you''ll grow, then you''ll show all those asses what''s up. You''re the biggest baddass I''ve ever met, never forget that.¡±

    ¡°...Thanks, Ken...¡± It''s a small comfort, but at least no matter how other people see me, Ken will always be there. I roll over, burying my head into my pillows and plushies, and try to get some sleep.

 Chapter 3

    There''s something strange. Like a surge, or like a wave washing over the world. It burns through me, until I squint my eyes open and it resolves into real sound.

    It''s my mobile ringing.

    Rolling onto my side, I swipe it off the desk next to my bed and immediately answer before I miss the call. ¡°Yeah? What is it?¡± I groggily mumble, trying to wake up, but totally failing. It''s only my mother''s frantic voice that manages to keep me conscious.

    ¡°Seiko! Are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Uhh, yeah?¡±

    ¡°Oh thank goodness! They reported a psi tremor at your school! I''m so glad you''re ok!¡±

    ¡°...Yup....¡±

    ¡°Ah, did I wake you up? Sorry, growing boys need their sleep. I''ll call you later, alright?¡±

    ¡°...Sure...¡±

    I almost slip away, my mobile sliding out of my hand, to bounce away on the floor, before Ken''s voice rouses me again.

    ¡°Psi tremor?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Man, your mom worries too much.¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡±

    I bury my head in my pillow again, the sound of the news coming from the projector. Ken always was an early riser, wasn''t he...?

    ...

    I have to pee... Grumbling my way up out of bed, I stumble past him in his desk chair, to our little attached washroom. I flail and almost fall over getting the toilet seat up and my boxers down. God, I feel like I''m going to fall asleep on my feet... The hell happened last night that I''m so tired? Why do I feel so hot? What time is it anyway?

    ¡°....¡±

    Something is wrong.

    ¡°.....Huh.....?¡±

    Why are my legs all wet?

    Shit, did I actually fall asleep standing up and miss the damn bowl...?

    I practically fall against the sink, fighting to keep myself upright, and, splashing water down my legs to clean them. It doesn''t take long to realize it''s a lost cause, I failed miserably and totally soaked myself. Ugh, fucking gross... God, what''s wrong with me today...? Fumbling into the shower, I stumble into the side and grunt in pain. I run the water, washing my own damn piss off myself.

    Then I throw a towel on the floor and give it a kick, but the floor is all wet. I almost fall over and knock myself out on the edge of the shower before giving up. Shambling my way back through our room, I mumble out something about missing and fall back into bed.

    ¡°Wait, Sei? You left everything running! Ugh, why''d you piss all over the floor? Sei?!¡± I don''t hear anything beyond that before I''m out again.

    <hr>

    I''m being shaken. ¡°Whuh...?¡± I flail a little, trying to right myself, then realize that it''s Ken shaking me. He holds out my mobile for me to take while I stare up at him through bleary eyes. ¡°Hello?¡± I croak.

    ¡°Seiko, you sound awful. You aren''t sick, are you? You''ve only been gone a day!¡± Mom?

    ¡°I''m... uhh? Sorry, I just woke up.¡± I don''t even need to say anything, I just wave a hand at Ken and he tosses me a bottle of water. Pinning my mobile against my shoulder, I crack it open and take a long drink.

    In the meantime, Mom starts in. ¡°What? It''s already three in the afternoon! You can''t go getting lazy just because you''re living on your own you know. Get up and get some food! You won''t grow if you don''t eat!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Mom,¡± I hold back from sighing. I''ve only been gone a day and I''m already getting lectured... I flop my head down on my pillow as she continues lecturing me on how only worthless men lie around all day. I''m trying not to fall asleep, but I''ve heard this so many times already...

    ¡°Good, as long as you''ve learned your lesson,¡± she suddenly finishes up out of nowhere. ¡°Now, here''s your father.¡± Ugh, Dad...? Mom was bad enough already...

    ¡°Sei?¡± Dad''s voice comes over the mobile, and I can''t help from frowning at myself.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m here, Dad.¡±

    ¡°You sound terrible,¡± are the first words out of his mouth, and my heart falls further. ¡°And you sound different, is your voice starting to change?¡±

    In an instant of panic, I grab my throat, but I don''t feel anything there. Ok, nothing''s changed...

    ¡°No, Dad, not yet.¡±

    ¡°Fine. You have to focus on your weight training, you didn''t think I didn''t notice you haven''t been doing it, did you?¡±

    I have been, just not with you around because it makes me self-conscious... ¡°Yes, Dad.¡±

    ¡°Good. And make sure to get plenty of protein. Now that you''re finally going through puberty, it''s time to really pack on the muscle. Maybe one day you''ll be stronger than your old man.¡±

    Yeah right, like any amount of training would get me to his idiot strength. ¡°Yeah, I''ll do that. Thanks, Dad.¡±

    ¡°You''re welcome. Don''t get discouraged, as long as you keep working at it, you''ll grow up big and strong, just like you always wanted.¡±

    Just like I always wanted, huh...? ¡°I will.¡±

    ¡°Good, good. I won''t hold you up any longer, so get that lazy ass up.¡±

    ¡°Sure, love you. Bye.¡±

    When the call disconnects, I let the mobile slip from my hand, bouncing away on the floor again. I just want to go back to sleep...

    ¡°Oh no, come on, Sei,¡± Ken stops me. ¡°You look sick and you''ve been out for a long time. You really do need some food.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, fine...¡± If Ken says so...

    ¡°Cool, come on.¡± He waves, then walks out of the room. Right, right, food. Following just behind him, I stop for a second to grab a shirt and some baggy jeans from my dresser, throwing the shirt on, then struggling into jeans as I follow him out the door.

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I grunt, staggering into the far wall. God, I feel like shit... I guess I am sick. My head''s spinning, I''m hot all over, and there''s this painful tightness in my chest... It''s not hard to breathe at least, but if it gets any worse, would I need to go to a hospital?

    No, no, the Larosian healthcare system is a burning dumpster fire, I''d be as likely to catch The Plague there as literally anything else. Then probably get thrown into the military in a futile attempt to pay off the medical debt.

    Leaving those stupid thoughts behind, I follow Ken into the common room. ¡°Woah, dude!¡± are the first words I hear, and I want to groan. What is it going to be this time?

    ¡°Yo, are you that guy?¡±

    ¡°Dude, he''s gotta be, literally no one else fits his description,¡± someone else laughs.

    ¡°What is it? We''re hungry,¡± Ken asks the group of five plus guys all gathered around, moving in front of me protectively.

    ¡°There''s this crazy rumor about a guy that looks like a chick. Mason-san was giving him a hard time, being his shithead self. Didn''t believe he was a guy, so this dude straight up flashed his dick to prove it!¡±

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I groan, hiding my burning face in my hands. God, why are there rumors about that?!

    ¡°Damn man, I don''t care how you look, you''ve got balls of steel!¡± one of them laughs and slaps me on the back. Wait, seriously? They''re praising me for doing something so, so... ugh. I can''t believe these people, why is everyone around me like this?

    ¡°Well, there you have it. Seiko Maka is a badass, so stop giving him so much trouble all the time, got it?¡± Ken says, and somehow, everyone agrees. Enthusiastically. What... the actual fuck...?

    With all those guys out of the way, we get to the kitchen, and Ken searches through the fridge for something edible.

    It''s not like we know anything about cooking, having literally just moved out of our parents'' houses. Since I''m clearly incapacitated, he at least manages to throw some meat and vegetables in a frying pan and heat them up so I don''t get food poisoning or anything.

    Certainly not the best meal in my life, as I chew my way through a stalk of undercooked broccoli, but I''ll live. When I''ve had my fill, we toss the rest. I can''t eat much anyway, my stomach is all twisted up in knots...

    Once I''m fed, I start feeling hotter again. I have to hold myself up against the counter to stay upright. ¡°Yeah, I''m done,¡± I pant, so Ken helps me back to our room. I''m out again as soon as I hit the bed.

    I wake up a few times. Sometimes with Ken there to give me food or water. Sometimes it''s just me. Then, Jen is there.

    ¡°Sei, you''re up!¡± she exclaims, leaning down and hugging me.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m up...¡± I waver, trying to sit, until she grabs my arm to steady me. I''m still in our dorm, right? What time is it? When I ask, she tells me it''s already Sunday afternoon. Our first day here was a Friday, so I''ve been out for a day and a half...?

    ¡°Ken told me how you''ve been out of it, how do you feel?¡±

    ¡°Kind of hot, but mostly better, I think,¡± I answer honestly. ¡°I guess I caught a cold?¡±

    She sighs. ¡°As long as you''re feeling better, Sei. I was worried because you had a really rough first day, you know?¡±

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± I don''t even want to think about it...

    ¡°Oh, about that, Jen. You wouldn''t believe it but...¡± He waves her closer and starts whispering in her ear. He isn''t...

    ¡°Oh my god, Sei?¡±

    ¡°Nooo!¡± I flail and cry out. ¡°Don''t tell her about that!¡± Blushing again, I cover my face.

    ¡°You''ve really grown some balls, haven''t you?¡±

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I groan into my hands. ¡°No, I just didn''t know what else to do, he was threatening to call the cops on Ken, and I was so mad...¡±

    ¡°Uhh, what?¡± Jen deadpans.

    While I roll over and bury my face in a giraffe plushy, Ken explains the whole story, which leaves Jen fuming. ¡°What an asshole! Good job putting him in his place, Sei.¡±

    ¡°Mrrmmm...¡± I mumble into my plushy. That earns a sigh, and she rubs my head for a bit. Oh, it feels really nice when she runs her fingers through my hair like that... It nearly puts me to sleep before she realizes what''s happening.

    ¡°Ooh, this is new, I think I found his weak point,¡± she chuckles, and redoubles her efforts. I let out a long, contented sigh, and I''m drifting off before I know it.

    <hr>

    The next time I wake up, I don''t feel hot anymore. In fact, I think I''ve slept so much, I actually feel pretty great. I push up out of my bed, to find Ken across, snoring away softly in his own. Huh.

    My back feels a bit sore from lying down so long, so I do some quick stretches to work the tightness out.

    ¡°Ahh, that''s nice...¡± I mumble, rolling my shoulders and neck a few times. ¡°Alright, so...¡± Looking around, I take in my new room for the first time in... what, a few days? Damn, I was really out of it, wasn''t I?

    I grab my mobile, and check the time. Monday..... two in the morning. Alright then. At least I''m up in time for school. Sort of.

    Well, I''m a sweaty, hungry, thirsty mess. Let''s fix that. I have the time, if nothing else. So first, I go to the wash room, moving slow and quiet in the dark so I don''t disturb Ken. I brush my teeth, wash my face, drink some water from the tap... Should I take a shower or a bath? I plop down on the toilet and start going through notifications I missed over the last two days.

    Yeah, after those calls from my parents, they texted me a few times. I send one back to assure them I''m alright and everything is normal. I was just... busy over the weekend. No need to tell them and get them all riled up over a cold, they''d just wind up calling me and then I''d have to talk to them more...

    With that done, I scroll through more random notifications, but nothing immediately jumps out at me, so I just clear them all and set my mobile down on the sink. I lean back and sigh. Another day of school ahead, huh? Another day with Vance and a terrifying psion in my class. Another day of dealing with... with everyone around me.

    No, it''ll be fine. I''m finally growing, finally becoming what I''m supposed to be... right? Even if thinking about it disgusts me, I did something pretty manly on Friday, didn''t I? That''s what everyone keeps telling me anyway. And as awful as they feel, I can get erections now, which means I''m becoming a man.

    ...Right? Even if it needs time to grow to be big and... and manly, all I have to do is wait... My hands move between my legs to poke at my penis, but...

    Uhh? Blinking into the dark, I shift my legs closed. Why don''t I feel it there? Spreading them again, I reach between my legs, moving my hands over the space there in the dark. I confirm it, my penis is gone. Just... poof.

    In its place, there''s a slit. My finger slides over the surface, then into the crevice. Even if I''ve never felt anything like it before, it doesn''t take a rocket scientist to guess. Vagina...

    Why? How?

    But I''m... supposed to be a man...

    I sit there in the dark, just pressing my hand against that spot, telling myself over and over that this is actually happening.

    I don''t know for how long, before I finally move on. My hands come up to my chest automatically. To the place where there was never anything before. Slipping my hands up under my shirt, I touch myself, and get a slight soft feeling. A little squishy and springy. Small, but definitely there. Breasts.

    Once more, I just sit for some time, letting the feeling from both my hands and breasts confirm that this is real.

    Wait, I''m not dreaming, am I? Nothing about this feels like a dream. Nothing weird is happening around me, nothing but the changes to my body.

    But why? Why did I change? And why like this? It''s almost like-

    Something supernatural. Like a psion ability.

    That psionic tremor on Friday.

    Did that affect me somehow? I can''t think of any other possibility. What else could possibly change someone''s body like this?

    My hands finally fall to my sides. My heart is beating fast, but I keep my breath steady. Ok, not freaking out. Just have to take things nice and slow. As sad as it is, having girl parts isn''t even that much of a step back from where I was before. I just have to figure out how to change back, then I''ll be able to become a man, right? Like my parents always said.

    My parents... As soon as I think about them, the tears come. I can''t stop them at all. What would my parents think? I''ve failed the one thing they always wanted so badly, would they ever even talk to me again?

    Why did this have to happen?

    For a while, I sob quietly into my hands. I don''t know what to do...

    My shoulders are still trembling when I stand up. Come on, I can''t just wallow, I have to get to work. This new body of mine isn''t going to bathe and feed itself. Since the baths are absolutely out of the question now, I take a shower.

    ¡°Oh, wow...¡± I mumble to myself as I wash. My body feels so good... Just touching my own skin gives a really pleasant sensation under the hot running water. I try to avoid my breasts though, they feel a bit tender to the touch and I don''t know what that means, so I avoid messing with them for now. By the time I finish and get out, I''m actually relaxed again, despite my current circumstances.

    Moving through the dark room once more, I listen for Ken''s soft snores while I open my dresser and rummage around inside. What am I supposed to tell Ken? Do I tell him?

    Duh, of course I have to tell him, he helps me with everything! Besides, even if I wanted to hide it for some reason, we''re roommates. Just because these new breasts on my chest are small, that doesn''t mean they aren''t dead obvious to anyone who would see me without my shirt on. Like, say, my roommate who regularly sees me change.

    Ok, so telling Ken somehow, who else? Absolutely not my parents, no matter what, which means not the school. Adult or not, I''m sure they would tell them about what happened, and I''m not looking to get disowned or something. I do not have the means to survive without their financial support and I know it.

    So, I have to hide it at school. That shouldn''t be too hard, right? Then my stomach drops out.

    How much has my appearance changed?! Shuffling back into the bathroom with silent terror building, I slowly swing the door closed before I turn the light on and look myself over in the mirror.

    Oh. Ok, this is fine. There''s no real changes to my face that I can tell. Still the same round face, pouty lips and big, delicate blue eyes. In short, I... still look like a girl. Because I always did from the beginning.

    Great, so now I won''t be telling people I''m a guy because I don''t look like it, I''ll basically just be lying outright. But, no, I am a boy, it''s just that my body is messed up right now! I just have to fix it, then I''ll be how I''m supposed to be...

    Right, this is all so I can become a man. I have to keep my goal in mind...

    Finally getting past that, I decide to give my naked body a look. Besides the small breasts, I don''t think my build is much different. Still as skinny, slight, and feminine as ever... My hips might be a bit more full? And it''s kind of hard to tell in this light, but my skin might be a little nicer. It felt softer in the shower, anyway.

    Sitting down on the floor, I use my mobile''s camera in place of a mirror and spread my legs. Hmm, it''s smooth, no real coloring any different from my skin. It basically just looks like a slit. When I spread it open, it''s a bit pink inside. I nod to myself. So that''s what it''s like, alright.

    It''s only after I stand back up, that I finally realize, I just stared at a girl''s naked body and all of her private places. And I didn''t feel anything? I wasn''t turned on at all... Do I not like girls anymore because my body is like this? Am I going to start feeling weird around guys?

    No, scratch that, being around guys is always weird. No change there. But, does this mean that I can''t get a girlfriend until I fix my body?

    Duh, of course I can''t! No one can know about what happened! Why am I even thinking about stupid stuff like that right now?!

    Pressing my face to the sink and releasing a long sigh, I try to return to my actual problem. So, I don''t feel turned on or anything looking at myself in the mirror now, right? Maybe it''s just me? I basically looked like this before and it didn''t bother me then.

    Pulling up my web browser, I do a quick search for sexy women and... ok, yeah, I definitely still like women. Which is great! It means I''m definitely still a guy! On the inside at least...?

    Actually, I''d say the feeling is way more clear now than it was before. Like, ding ding, you like women! Rather than just getting all flustered and getting a disgusting, embarrassing erection... Now I kind of feel all warm and tingly as I scroll through images. It''s a surprisingly nice feeling, actually. I do it for a little longer, just to enjoy the feeling.

    Ok, getting back on track. I swipe the images away and return to productive thoughts. Like getting dressed. Once more approaching my dresser in the dark, I pull out underwear, a shirt, and another pair of jeans. I slide into them, and confirm that my hips are definitely a tad wider. The jeans actually feel kind of rough against my legs now. Hmm, maybe my skin is a bit more sensitive? Well, I can deal with that later.

    Finally dressed, I make sure to double check myself in the bathroom mirror to ensure that... that my boobs aren''t easily visible through the shirt. Thankfully, it''s loose enough to mask the shape of my body, so I think I''m safe.

    I''ll probably have to wear more jackets and hoodies to cover these up, won''t I? Any tight fitting clothing is right out. On the bright side, at least they''re small. If they were huge like what some girls have, there would be no hiding them and I''d be totally screwed.

    Finally making my way out of our room after those disturbing thoughts, I rummage through the kitchen. I don''t know how to cook, so I grab some vegetables and scarf them down. Ok wow, crashing out in bed for two days leaves you hungry, doesn''t it?

    Quickly retreating to my room again after my meal, I check my mobile again. Alright, food, shower, and existential crisis only cost me three hours, not bad. School starts at eight, so Ken will probably be up around six or seven. I should just wait and try to relax and calm down until then. After all, my hands are shaking like leaves in a storm...

    I settle in on my bed, and I''m about to grab a plushy, when I notice how disgusting my bed is. Right, I basically just fever sweated into it for two days straight, didn''t I? Changing the bedsheets would probably make too much noise right now, so I just sit on the floor, back against my bed frame, and play some mobile game. Something nice and simple and fun, to get my mind off things for a while and calm down.

    When six o'' clock rolls around, I put my mobile back on my desk, and gently shake Ken. It took me a while to come to grips with things, so he might need some time too. So I work to get him up, which isn''t too hard. He''s an early riser anyway.

    ¡°Sei?¡± He rubs at his eyes. ¡°Ah, looks like you''re up again. How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Good, I''m better. But there''s something I need to talk to you about.¡±

    ¡°Alright, what is it?¡± He sits up, legs hanging over the edge of his bed, still rubbing at his eyes, and I plop down next to him. All at once, it hits me. What I''m about to tell him. It''s like a crushing anxiety, but I thrust myself forward before my stupid brain can seize up.

    I just blurt it out. ¡°I became a girl.¡±

    ¡°Uh huh. Good for you.¡± I... don''t think he gets it.

    ¡°No, no, bad for me.¡± I wave my hands uselessly. ¡°I''m supposed to be a boy, but my body became female.¡± Clearly, it''s still not making it through entirely. I sigh into my hand. ¡°I lost. My dick.¡± I drone at him.

    He nods slowly. ¡°Oh, ok.¡± Then, I see when he finally gets it. God, he can be slow right after he wakes up. ¡°Oh!¡± He blinks rapidly at me. ¡°Shit, so you what, you got girl parts now?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± He thinks about that briefly, but I can tell from the way he''s looking...

    ¡°Ugh.¡± I roll my eyes and pull up my shirt. When I lower it again a moment later, I glare at him in an attempt to hide my burning red cheeks, but it clearly doesn''t work.

    ¡°O-oh, shit, I''m sorry Sei, you didn''t have to show me,¡± he apologizes immediately. ¡°You''re still you, no matter what your body is like.¡±

    My glare softens. ¡°Eh, it''s fine, you''re always helping me with everything after all. In return, I''ve shown you your first pair of boobs,¡± I try to joke to play it off, but even that isn''t helping with the heat in my cheeks. ¡°Sorry they aren''t bigger.¡± I try again with a shrug, but my heart is doing flips. Oh god I''m making it worse not better. Abort abort abort...

    ¡°So, uhh, right,¡± I cough into my hand. ¡°My best guess is it had to do with that psi tremor the other day, because that''s when I started feeling weird. So for now, my plan is to talk to Vicca-san since she''s the only psion we know, and, you know, keep this all a secret from basically everyone else.¡±

    ¡°Really? Why''s that?¡± he asks immediately, so I explain how becoming like this, my parents would think I failed them and would disown me. Well, maybe not Mom, but definitely Dad. Seeing his son like this... he''d totally have a fit...

    ¡°Alright, I''ve got you so far. We have a plan, so... what do I do?¡± Ken asks.

    ¡°What do you do?¡± It seems like a weird question, I have no idea how to answer it at first. As it turns out, it''s simple once I stop trying to overthink it. ¡°Just keep being you. Help me get through the day without anyone finding out?¡±

    He grins. ¡°That...¡± The grin fades. ¡°Oh god, that could be really hard.¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡±

 Chapter 4

    ¡°So, we telling Jen next?¡± Ken asks after we sit for a bit longer.

    ¡°Mm, probably should. She''d definitely notice if we tried to hide it from her and get super pissed.¡±

    ¡°Alright, I''ll text her.¡± While Ken''s fiddling with his mobile, I get up and strip the nasty sheets from my bed. They go in the hamper, then I pull my spare set from my dresser. I only have these two to switch between, so I''m going to need to figure out how to do laundry...

    By the time I''ve fixed up my bed, Ken is done. ¡°She said she''d meet us out front, let''s go.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    Just in case, I throw on a big hoodie on our way out.

    Thankfully, it''s still really early, so we only pass by a few sleepy, wandering early risers on our way downstairs. When we reach the front of the building, Jen is already heading our way down the sidewalk from the women''s side of the dorm building.

    ¡°You guys better have a good reason for dragging me out at this hour...¡± she grumbles at us while rubbing her eyes. ¡°Sei, you feeling better?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, feeling a lot better, but there''s something I need to tell you about.¡± Jen perks up immediately at the tension in my tone. I look around, but there''s no one around us to overhear. Just well manicured grass stretching away to the distant school building, and the first traces of pink on the horizon before the rise of the sun.

    ¡°So...?¡± she prompts me.

    Again, I force the words out before I have time to get anxious over them. ¡°I became a girl.¡± As expected, there''s no response. I dump the rest out in a rush. ¡°Or, my body at least. I think it had to do with that psi tremor the other day, I can''t imagine any other way for something like this to happen.¡±

    After some thought, she goes, ¡°Uhh, so that means...¡± and kind of points toward my crotch with this heavy lidded, disbelieving look.

    With a sigh, I point at my chest and groin. ¡°Girl parts.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡±

    ¡°I''m not flashing you to prove it.¡±

    She takes a breath, one finger coming up like she''s going to say something, then tilts her head to the side and goes, ¡°Huh. That''s fair.¡± Quickly recovering, she asks, ¡°So, what now?¡±

    I quickly relay my current plan, about keeping things under wraps and trying to talk to Leona Vicca about it. ¡°Alright, sounds like a plan,¡± Jen responds. Then she moves up next to me and slides an arm around my shoulders. ¡°Now, come with me. Just Sei. Ken, you can head back.¡±

    ¡°Huh? Well, sure, I guess.¡± He shrugs it off. ¡°See you guys later.¡±

    I start going with Jen as she pulls me along, but have to ask, ¡°Where are we going?¡±

    ¡°My room, there''s some stuff we have to talk about.¡±

    ¡°Ehh? Is that really ok? Won''t you get in trouble or something?¡±

    ¡°Get in trouble for what?¡± she deadpans, not even needing to say the rest. Of course she wouldn''t get in trouble bringing me to the girl''s dorm as I am now. It wouldn''t even have been an issue before my body changed...

    So, I go along with her.

    She''s on the second floor. We pass by a few girls getting up to start their day, but none of them pay us any mind. Then she taps her hand on the reader by her door, and it slides open to allow us in.

    Turning around at the sound, there''s a pretty girl standing right in the middle of the room, wearing nothing but some frilly underwear, and holding a dress out in front of her as she looks it over.

    ¡°Geh.¡± That tiny sound slips from Jen''s mouth when she cuts short in the doorway. Her arm still held tight around my shoulder brings me to a stop too.

    ¡°Oh, Corro-san. Who''s your friend?¡±

    Jen''s response is surprisingly smooth. ¡°Hey Phan-san, this is Seiko Maka.¡±

    ¡°Ahh, it''s nice to meet you.¡± Still holding the dress in both hands, she offers me a kind smile. What a nice girl...

    ¡°Oh, Phan-san, we kind of had some stuff to talk about. Could I use the room for a bit?¡± Jen asks apologetically.

    ¡°Sure, sure, no problem,¡± the other girl waves it off as no big deal. ¡°Just give me a minute.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    Jen pauses, and just as I think we''re about to stand outside to wait, the girl raises a brow, and Jen hurriedly herds me in. Into the room with the pretty girl in her underwear. When Jen sits us down on her bed, I don''t know what to do. Do I not look? Or would that be weird? While I''m blushing at the floor, the girl suddenly starts talking to me.

    ¡°Wow, you have such pretty hair, Maka-chan.¡±

    Heart hammering and head snapping up, I get another look at the curvy, older looking girl, and her frilly pink bra and panties, and only blush worse. ¡°Th-thanks. I, I uhh, I like your hair too.¡± It''s darker and wavier than mine, more of a yellow than my platinum, but it reaches all the way down to her waist and swishes around behind her when she turns and poses playfully.

    ¡°Hehe, thanks,¡± she giggles, then gets back to pulling on her dress. It''s pink and yellow, with these frilly ruffles all the way down from the waist to the floor length hem.

    I end up just watching her as she straightens the sleeves and skirt out with a few pats, turning to look herself over in the floor length mirror she has set up in front of her desk.

    ¡°Ok, I''m heading out. Be back in a bit.¡± With that, Phan waves and leaves the room. It''s only after she''s gone that I wonder, why is she even wearing that dress? She''s going to have to change into her school uniform before class anyway...

    ¡°So, you still like girls, I take it?¡± Jen asks jokingly. I respond with a mute, blushing nod. ¡°Right... Hmm...¡± She thinks briefly before asking, with a hint of disgust, ¡°Uhh, you haven''t done anything pervy with that new body, have you?¡±

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°Uhh, no?¡±

    ¡°You didn''t touch yourself at all?¡± Why does she look so surprised?

    ¡°Well yeah, that''s how I noticed the changes.¡±

    ¡°That''s not-¡± Lowering her head into her hands, she takes a big, deep breath, before coming back up. Is she blushing? ¡°Alright, I''ll just leave it there. Come on, there''s some important stuff I have to check. Take your clothes off.¡±

    ¡°M-my clothes?¡± I stammer. Even so, this is Jen. I stand up and I do as she says. I''m immediately self conscious of my chest when I drop my shirt on the floor, but she waves at me when I stop in my boxers.

    ¡°All of it,¡± she says. I''m as red as a tomato, and even her cheeks are tinged pink, but she doesn''t look away at all. Once I drop my boxers, she walks right up at me, eyes trained on my chest. And then she touches me. My whole body shudders under her gentle fingers.

    ¡°Let''s see, this size...¡± her murmured words help draw me out of my embarrassed stupor. ¡°Sei, whatever happened to you, it didn''t start you from zero.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I ask, not really getting it.

    ¡°Here, feel.¡± She grabs my hand and presses it to my breast. I''m still blushing, but something about her clinical tone is helping me ignore that. ¡°I hit puberty around eleven, but my breasts didn''t get like this for at least like, a year, I think. Maybe two.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± It''s kind of obvious when I think of it that way. Girls don''t normally just grow boobs overnight.

    ¡°Anyway, what I''m saying is that whatever happened, you got dropped into a body that''s already in the middle of changing. With development like this, you''re still a very late bloomer, but not quite as extreme as before. About where I was at... thirteen, I think.¡±

    I nod. ¡°Ok, I got it.¡±

    ¡°Good, now, how do you feel? Any issues? Any questions?¡± she asks. I smile a little when she says it like that. I can always count on her, can''t I?

    ¡°Well... I feel like my skin is more sensitive? A-and my... breasts, they''re kind of sore, is that a problem?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Sore? Where?¡±

    ¡°Mm, kind of...¡± I press gently around my breasts with my fingertips. ¡°I think like... here, kind of near the tip, and a bit around that...¡± I murmur.

    After thinking a bit, Jen shrugs and says, ¡°That sounds fine. I''ve had some soreness from time to time. It probably just means they''re growing.¡±

    ¡°Th-they''re growing?¡±

    ¡°Well, yeah. You''ve got a girl''s body now, so that much is obvious,¡± she waves it off like it''s nothing, but my heart is pounding at the thought. What do I do if they get bigger? I... I have to change back somehow...

    ¡°As for your skin, you should at least be using a moisturizer to take care of yourself, I''ll lend you one later. Oh, speaking of,¡± she suddenly perks up. ¡°You have to take care of yourself like a girl now. There''s a lot that goes into that. Let me show you the basics.¡± Dragging me by the hand, she pulls me over into her wash room and sits me, still naked, down on her toilet.

    ¡°Have you peed like this yet?¡± she asks seriously.

    ¡°Well, no, I...¡± Then I remember what happened the other day. I wasn''t just being a sleepy idiot there, was I? Hunching forward, cover my burning face with my hands.

    ¡°I''ll take that as a yes. Did you have a problem or something?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°It was bad. Don''t want to talk about it...¡±

    ¡°Oof, that bad? Well here, listen very closely.¡± Then she kneels down and spreads my legs. I let out a surprised squeak before covering my mouth.

    Ignoring my reaction, Jen looks right at my vagina. ¡°Alright, it looks pretty normal, still underdeveloped, and I''m not seeing any body hair yet.¡± Then she spreads the lips open, and I squeeze my eyes shut. ¡°Hey!¡± She snaps her fingers at me. ¡°Stop being embarrassed and watch!¡± Jen suddenly scolds me, and I force myself to open my eyes again.

    ¡°Alright Sei, look here.¡± She grabs a small hand mirror from her sink and holds it so I can see. ¡°See here? This is where you pee from. And here? This is your vagina. Rule number one, wipe front to back when you pee. If you do it the wrong way, you''ll pull nasty germs and stuff from your butt, all over the parts where you really don''t want those germs. You''ll get some bad infections, and if you don''t do anything about them, you''ll wind up in the hospital, or dead or something.

    Hearing something like that out of nowhere, I go pale and nod jerkily.

    ¡°Long story short, always wipe backward, UTI''s are no joke. Don''t go getting sick on me because you don''t know how your new plumbing works.¡± I keep nodding. Who knew girls had to worry about stuff like this...?

    After a few more embarrassing but essential pieces of advice for keeping myself both sanitary and breathing, Jen drags me back out of the wash room and lets me put my clothes back on. Sitting back on her bed, Jen says, ¡°If you notice any more changes or weird feelings with your body, tell me. I know you can''t go to a doctor, so I''ll teach you about any girl stuff you need to know, alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah... Thanks for everything, Jen.¡±

    ¡°You''re welcome, Sei. Now, forget about the body stuff.¡± She leans in and looks me right in the eye. ¡°How are you feeling? What are you thinking about now? Talk to me.¡±

    ¡°How I''m feeling...?¡± I mumble. How am I feeling? ¡°I don''t know. It guess I''m feeling normal, but what does that really mean...?¡±

    ¡°I''m... not sure I follow.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, how do I say it... It''s like, I don''t actually feel any different than usual. My body changed, but I don''t feel like I''ve changed. Does that make sense to you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I get it,¡± she chuckles and ruffles my hair playfully. ¡°Sei is still Sei. Got it.¡±

    ¡°Mm. Besides that, I''m... well, I''m scared about people finding out, mostly. Especially my parents. Like, I''ve gotten even further away from what I''m supposed to be.¡±

    I go quiet when my thoughts touch on something I really don''t want to think about. ¡°Hey, Jen, do you... remember what they all used to say?¡± While my voice falls to a whisper, Jen grimaces.

    ¡°Yeah, I remember.¡±

    ¡°I feel like... I don''t know, like they were right somehow.¡± As my gaze wanders away from hers, all I can picture is Vance, and it makes me sick. His words from the other day replaying over and over in my head. ¡°Like... they always called me a girl and... now they were all right.¡±

    While tears are starting to run down my cheeks, Jen hugs me from the side, then draws me close to her chest, rubbing the back of my head and stroking my hair gently. ¡°Don''t worry, it''ll be fine. Like you said. You''re still you. Still the same Sei we''ve always known. No matter what your body is like. Who cares if you''re a boy or a girl? It''s what''s inside that counts.¡±

    I let her stroke my hair a little while longer, sniffling and calming down. Enjoying the feeling of her hands, until the door to her room opens up. I jerk away from Jen, arms coming up to wipe the tears away from my face.

    ¡°I''m not... interrupting, am I?¡± Phan''s voice comes from the doorway.

    ¡°A-ah, no, we''re good.¡± Even though she sounds a bit panicked, Jen pulls me up from the bed. ¡°You know, just some stuff. Here, Sei.¡± She quickly grabs a bottle of moisturizing lotion from her dresser and passes it to me, before starting to push me toward the door. ¡°I''ve gotta get changed, see you at school?¡±

    Getting her point, I nod quickly. ¡°Yeah, see you later, Jen.¡± I pass by Phan in the doorway, and wave awkwardly with my free hand as I stumble down the hall. She waves back with a sweet smile before disappearing into her room.

    From there, I leave the girl''s dorm as quickly as I can without looking like I''m in a rush. I head across to the boy''s dorm, glancing up at the building as I go. It''s just one structure, but right in the middle, there are no connecting hallways between the two sides.

    Entering the boy''s side, I shove the moisturizer in my hoodie pocket. This isn''t the kind of thing a guy would normally carry, is it? There are so many more people around now that we''re getting closer to the start of classes. A ton of eyes follow me, but all I catch are things like ''badass'' and ''legend'' being thrown around. No matter which way I look, those rumors have spread all through the dorm already, haven''t they?

    I make it most of the way back to my room, before a practical thought makes it through my mortified embarrassment. That rumor is going to keep people from questioning me, isn''t it? They all think I''m a guy now despite my appearance, because they all heard how I showed my dick to someone.

    That''s... convenient...? Horrifying, but convenient....

 Chapter 5

    I have to run to catch up to Ken, and end up meeting him halfway to the school building. I guess he didn''t know when I would show up, so he left before I got back to our room.

    ¡°Oh, hey, Sei,¡± he calls with a wave. He shortens his strides, and we fall into step. We walk across campus with the sun slowly rising for a while.

    ¡°So, what did you talk about with Jen?¡± Ken eventually asks, eyeing the area to ensure none of the other students traveling this path are close enough to overhear.

    ¡°Well...¡±

    Breast development.

    Body hair.

    How to clean my girl parts.

    ¡°N-nothing much, don''t worry about it.¡±

    While I''m blushing furiously at the ground, he just ''huuhh''s at me, but doesn''t press any further. We make it to the right section of the building much faster than on our first day, and it''s pretty clear that Ken knows his way around better. He did have all weekend to get acquainted with the campus...

    When we reach our classroom, we stop at one of the first desks at the front of the room. Oh, it''s Zeke.

    ¡°Hey, Zeke-san, what''s up?¡± Ken raises a hand in greeting.

    ¡°Hey Kentan-san,¡± I catch his eyes falling on me just for a moment, before he looks back to Ken. ¡°Sei-san.¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡± What was that look for? I''m getting a little nervous with the way he isn''t really looking at me. I''ve got my uniform on, shirt, vest, tie, jacket. All like normal, so there''s no way I look any different than usual...

    While I worry about that, they exchange a few words about not meeting up last week and how we should hang out again sometime, before Ken moves on, and I quickly follow behind. Gon isn''t in his seat, probably hanging out with his friends in another class, so I sit there, and try to chat with Ken to calm my nerves while the room fills and our class time approaches.

    ¡°Yoohoo!¡± The greeting alone is enough identify Lucy. ¡°Hi guys, long time, no see.¡±

    ¡°Good morning, Lucy-chan,¡± we both greet her together, then follow with Amari as she comes up behind.

    ¡°Good to see you-¡± she starts to respond before Lucy cuts right back in.

    ¡°Woah, Sei-san, your hair is longer!¡±

    ¡°Hah?¡± Ken and me have identical responses. Then I grab my hair, pulling one of the platinum blond locks around to get a better look. The appearance is the same as usual, so I pull an arm back and try to feel it behind my back. I''m barely flexible enough to reach, but I manage. My eyes widen, immediately realizing that my hair doesn''t fall to the top of my shoulders anymore, now it''s at my shoulder blades. That''s what, seven or eight centimeters? In two days?

    Impossible.

    I have no way to explain. I don''t even know how to try. Then Ken comes in with the save before I can completely fall into panic. ¡°Oh damn, that''s pretty crazy, isn''t it, Sei?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah, wow. That''s so weird.¡± Are we... convincing...?

    Lucy looks back and forth between us for a few seconds after that. Then, ¡°So, uhh, you have no idea? That looks like six months of new growth you know,¡± she grins and looks amused.

    I shrug. ¡°Got me.¡± I think that sounded believable enough... Lucy laughs at my nonchalant response and starts running her hands through my hair, still with that same grin.

    ¡°Heeeh, you heard about that psi tremor? Maybe that made your hair grow,¡± she jokes, and I try to chuckle. So does Ken behind me, and I can feel the hint of nerves even without looking.

    Lucy doesn''t notice though. Thinking it was just a throwaway joke, she hops up to sit on Ken''s desk and continue running her hands through my hair. Without even thinking about it, I lean back, just enjoying the treatment, and sort of tune in and out of the conversation the three hold about some teacher for one of our classes.

    Fortunately, much of the day passes without issue. No problems with any of the other students or anything. We just hang out and chat. Jen comes over with Finn or Runa during breaks and lunch, and we all talk about news and games and whatever. ¡°Jenna-san, Jenna-san,¡± Lucy calls during the first break Jen comes over. ¡°Look how long Sei-san''s hair grew! Isn''t that weird?¡±

    ¡°Oh wow, yeah, really weird. I, uhh, totally didn''t notice earlier, Sei,¡± she laughs, but she gives me this apologetic look that tells me she missed it because of, well, everything else. Thankfully, nothing comes of the comment, and life moves on. We make it through most of the day just like that.

    Unfortunately, Leona Vicca never shows up.

    Even sitting, chatting, and having the girls laugh and play with my suddenly longer hair, I can''t fully relax. Not completely. Not while worrying about my body, and not when I catch glimpses of Vance''s spiky blond hair on the other side of the classroom.

    The way Zeke doesn''t come over to hang out bothers me too. Is he avoiding us now that we''re in high school? Or is it just me? He talked with Ken like it was no problem...

    With another bell ringing through school, Jen waves goodbye and rushes out of the room for her own class across the hall, dragging Runa behind her. I check my schedule, again. We''re almost to last period.

    ¡°...Shit...¡± I curse. Gym class. I was not thinking about this earlier.

    ¡°Alright alright, everyone!¡± comes a guy''s voice, cutting through the rising noise. He moves up to the front of the room to stand beside the teacher''s desk, clapping and getting everyone''s attention as they quiet down. This guy, he''s the class rep, right? Bray Folle, I think his name was.

    ¡°Time for gym. We''ll be sharing the period with class D. Girls change in here, guys change in D. Got it?¡± Then he claps his hands a couple more times and starts waving everyone out. Looking away from Folle, I catch Jen rushing back into this room.

    ¡°Guess I''m changing in here, tehe~¡± she makes a funny sound, and we both shake our heads at her. That draws an amused pout for a moment, before she gets serious again.

    ¡°So, Sei?¡± She doesn''t need to say anything else.

    ¡°I''m... going to the toilet,¡± I answer. Both of my friends nod together, and wave for me to get going. I stop at my locker at the back of the class to grab my change of clothes, then leave, trying not to be conspicuous when I head down the hall toward the nearest toilet instead of class D.

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    Turning into the men''s room, I listen for a moment but don''t hear anything, and enter a private stall. Ugh, tight... Without much room to maneuver, I struggle out of my clothes, doing my best to fold up my uniform and stuff it into the bag I pull my gym clothes out of.

    As soon as I get my top layers off, I look down, seeing the little lumps of my breasts. It''s... weird. Having these all of a sudden. I poke one lightly. Yeah, still kind of tender. Moving on, I throw on my gym shirt. It''s white and I''m a little uncomfortable in it. It''s not super form fitting, but doesn''t do much to hide my figure either...

    At least I have my gym jacket, so I throw that on and zip it up. Yes, that''s great. It''s a dark navy blue, and big enough to completely hide my body. I pull down my pants, then stop. Actually, this is a good time to relieve myself, isn''t it? While I know I''m alone and without drawing any attention or anything...

    Thinking as much, I sit down. I don''t really have to go that bad, but try anyway. The feeling of relaxing my muscles is different, and it feels way different coming out too. Not bad, just... different.

    It does leave a bunch of pee all on my skin down there though because the hole it comes out of is like, inside now, instead of out on the end of a penis. I never thought about it like that before. No wonder why wiping is more important... I make sure to do it carefully, just like Jen taught me, until I''m all dry, and it''s done.

    Huh, even with the changes, it''s not really difficult, I can manage it fine. Feeling a little more confident, I finish changing into my big, baggy gym shorts. They match the dark blue of my jacket. They''re so big, and my legs are so skinny and girly looking...

    I shake my head. Now isn''t the time, I have to get to class. Stuffing the rest of my clothes in my gym bag, leave the stall and wash my hands. When I leave the toilet, I''m surprised to see everyone waiting for me.

    Not just Ken and Jen. Lucy, Amari, and even Finn and Runa, they''re all hanging around, chatting.

    ¡°A-ah! I''m sorry, I didn''t mean to hold you guys up. I didn''t realize you were going to wait for me.¡±

    ¡°No prob, no prob,¡± Finn waves lazily in the background, while Lucy is the one to step forward with a playful look and her hands planted on her hips.

    ¡°What, you thought we''d just abandon you here? Do you even know how to get to the gym?¡±

    ¡°...¡± I raise a hand, but have absolutely no response for that. ¡°True.¡± One snarky grin and wave down the hall later, we all set off at a quick pace since so we won''t be late. They''re all so much taller though that I need to jog to keep up.

    ¡°Still...¡± Lucy speaks as we walk. ¡°I guess you''re pretty self-conscious, huh?¡±

    I can''t even deny it. With or without the recent changes. Changing for gym has never been a pleasant experience before...

    ¡°I totally understand,¡± Amari suddenly sighs from the side.

    ¡°Really? But you''re so pretty!¡± Jen chirps, but that makes Amari look away shyly. When Jen makes a questioning sound, Lucy is the one to explain.

    ¡°Amari hit her growth spurt early. Like, a year and a half before the rest of us.¡±

    Jen hisses. ¡°Ooh, that''s rough...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, same,¡± Ken nods from the side.

    ¡°It''s different for girls,¡± Jen scoffs at him. ¡°You guys all get bigger and stronger and all the guys think you''re awesome. You know what I mean.¡± He gives an affirmative shrug, since she''s right. That''s exactly what happened when he started shooting up and putting on muscle. The other guys basically worshiped him back in middle school.

    The conversation is put on pause when we hit the stairwell, all circling from landing to landing as we descend to the ground floor. Once we''re out, Jen picks back up where she was.

    ¡°For girls, everyone else gets weird around you, or jealous. It sucks.¡± I glance Runa''s way at the comment. Were other girls that jealous of her? She was always the best looking, and is a close second or third now, behind Leona Vicca and possibly Lacey Monasta.

    As I look though, she''s just staring off into the distance, like she''s not paying attention. ¡°I mean, just think how much things suck for late bloomers, right Sei?¡±

    I jolt when Jen suddenly calls on me to chime in, but in this context... I have to keep my hand from coming up to my chest automatically. Everyone else''s are bigger because they''re older than me and went through puberty normally. Mine are like this because even with the strange change that happened to me, I still ''started'' extremely late.

    No no, that''s not the point at all! I don''t care about their size, I''m supposed to get rid of them!

    ¡°Y-yeah,¡± I make myself respond like I''m not freaking out in my head. ¡°It really sucks seeing everyone else grow up around you.¡±

    ¡°We''ve all got our own problems...¡± Finn summarizes the whole conversation in a wistful tone, like none of this concerns him in the slightest. It makes the rest of us laugh as we approach the gym. Even rushing, we''re the last to arrive, the teachers already looking over the girl and boy sides of the classes.

    Splitting up, we trot over to our groups and slide to the floor at the back. When the teacher eyes me, it makes me nervous, but he doesn''t say anything. Even with my appearance, I guess he assumes I''m not really a girl dumb enough to go to join the wrong group by accident?

    Once he goes through the class roster, he confirms it, then calls us all up and says we''ll be running laps for our first day. It turns out the girls are doing the same, but they send our groups going around the gym in opposite directions so we can''t run together.

    Shrugging it off, I match pace with Ken. He''s so much taller, with such long legs, I have to put extra strength into my steps to lengthen my stride. It''s no big deal though, it lets me keep up without issue.

    It''s kind of fun, actually. Since everyone''s always been a year ahead of me, I never got to have class with them before. Playing sports and stuff with my friends might actually be pretty nice.

    Only one problem. Despite their small size, my breasts have this little bit of bounce to them. At first I don''t mind it, but the longer we run, the more my nipples start to hurt as they rub against my sweaty shirt with every step. Is this normal? What do girls with big boobs do? When I glance around, it doesn''t look like theirs are bouncing quite as much as I''d expect, even girls like Amari with really big boobs.

    Whatever, just ignore it, I tell myself. Men are supposed to endure things, right? I just have to do that. Just remember what Dad said...

    ''If you can walk, you''re fine.''

    <hr>

    ¡°Haa, that was nice,¡± I sigh out when they finally blow the whistle to stop.

    ¡°Wow, I never knew you could run like that,¡± Ken pants out, a clear expression of surprise as he looks my way. I shrug, but get an unexpectedly sharp sting from my chest for it. I think I overdid it there...

    Sweating and panting, the girls all come over. ¡°Wow, Sei-san,¡± Lucy slides an arm over my shoulder as she leans down on me, ¡°I saw you keeping pace with Kentan-san. I''m really impressed!¡± I suppress a wince at the movement, and just laugh her comment off.

    Wow, she''s so sweaty though. Actually, they''re all really sweaty, and panting a lot. I''m pretty hot in my jacket, but it''s not that bad...

    That''s all the time we have before our teachers call the two groups back, give a short talk about keeping it up, and dismiss us to get washed up. As soon as everyone heads for the showers attached to the gym, I start to panic. What do I do now?

    Actually... I get an idea, running over and calling out to Jen. The move draws a lot of eyes, but I don''t know what else to do here. She comes without question as I go over to my teacher. ¡°Excuse me, sir. I''m not feeling so well.¡±

    He waves it off. ¡°I''m not surprised, I saw you pushing to keep pace with that other guy.¡± He gives a sort of guy-gesture, where he jerks his chin up, toward Jen. ¡°Get him to the infirmary.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± she answers succinctly, wraps an arm around my shoulder, and makes a show of herding me out of the gym.

    ¡°Good move, Sei,¡± she whispers once we''re far enough away. We only make it so far before she adds, ¡°Though, you didn''t actually push yourself too far, did you?¡±

    ¡°Oh no, I''m fine,¡± I assure her. ¡°I do have one problem though...¡±

    She raises an eyebrow, and I glance around. There are no occupied classes this close to the gym, so it''s pretty empty. Even so, I wave for her to lean down so I can whisper in her ear. ¡°My, uhh, nipples are really sore...¡±

    She takes a moment to process that, cheeks turning pink, while I blush at the floor. Then she clears her throat, and whispers back. ¡°Right, uhh, shit. Sorry. I didn''t think about that...¡± She lets out a hissing breath, then asks, ¡°How bad is it? Should I actually take you to the infirmary?¡±

    ¡°N-no, I''m fine. I can ignore it for now. I''m worried about dealing with the doctor if we go, you know?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get it,¡± she sighs. ¡°Let''s head back to class then.¡± I nod, and we quickly head off.

 Chapter 6

    On the way to class, we stop at the toilets to change out of our gym clothes. When I pull off my shirt, I hiss. ¡°Ow, ow ow...¡± I mutter. Damn they''re really sore now... How do girls deal with this...? I quickly struggle back into my uniform, keeping an ear out for anyone coming in, then head back out once I''m done.

    I have to wait a little while for Jen to come out. Does it really take that much longer to change into the girl''s uniform? Guys have shirts, vests, jackets, pants, and ties, with a whole bunch of buttons to do up, but the girls only have the shirt and vest, with a skirt. Their ribbons are even attached to their shirt, I think, so they don''t have to tie them every time. Why does it take so long, I wonder...?

    Finally, she comes out, and we head back to our classrooms. Since we didn''t shower, we make it there before everyone else. ¡°I''m sorry, you didn''t get a shower because of me. Do you feel alright?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Pssh, whatever. If the guys can''t deal with me sweaty, then I don''t need them.¡±

    ¡°Haahh...¡± What is that even supposed to mean...?

    Giving me a pat on the head, Jen says, ¡°I''ll pick you up after last period to deal with your issue, alright?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    We split up there, and I wait for a while, until everyone comes back.

    ¡°Hey, Sei. You alright now?¡± Ken asks as soon as he arrives.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m feeling better. Don''t worry about it.¡± Even when I say that, he can clearly tell I''m not being totally honest. I know a little of the pain is leaking into my voice. ¡°Really, I''ll tell you about it later.¡±

    That earns a shrug. I manage to similarly wave off Lucy and Amari''s concern.

    Last period comes and goes in a flash. All it really is, is just a short class meetup before we break for the day. It''s not that long and there isn''t even a teacher to take attendance. It''s literally just a time to our class to keep its affairs it order, isn''t it?

    I have a feeling that from today on, a lot of people are going to be skipping this period entirely... Whatever, not really my concern.

    As soon as the bell rings, everyone''s already packed up. We didn''t have much else to do.

    I glance up, one seat ahead, one to my right. Leona Vicca''s desk. She never showed up to class today. Why not? Maybe I could ask a teacher?

    Just as Lucy and Ken are striking up a conversation, Jen sweeps into the room. She waves at me, and I start to rise, grabbing my bag. ¡°Coming!¡± I call.

    ¡°H-hey!¡± Ken stammers, ¡°what''s up?¡± I pause, I don''t really know what to say. I obviously can''t talk about it here. While I''m thinking, he catches my sleeve from behind. My clothing shifting suddenly is like a sting. Everyone catches my wince and grimace of pain, and Ken releases me with a jolt.

    ¡°Sorry, I-¡± I still don''t know what to say. I throw a glance at Jen, but she just gives me a look to say this one''s up to me. ¡°Come with us, I''ll explain.¡± I wave for him to follow along.

    ¡°Sure. We''ll see you later?¡± he directs the question at Lucy and Amari, who immediately agree. It''s clear that something is up, even if they don''t know what.

    With a few more words, we get on our way.

    ¡°So...?¡± he asks expectantly as we walk.

    Looking between us skeptically, Jen asks, ¡°Are you actually going to tell him?¡±

    I bite my lip. It''s embarrassing. It''s a girl thing and Jen knows how to help with that stuff. But I''m living with Ken. I can''t just leave him out of stuff like this, can I?

    ¡°Ugh, yeah, I''ll tell him. Just... when we''re alone.¡± It doesn''t feel like the kind of thing to mention in the hall at school, even when there isn''t anyone immediately around us.

    ¡°Whoo,¡± she whistles. ¡°Brave.¡± Then she reaches up and slaps Ken on the shoulder. ¡°I have a feeling you''re going to learn more about girls than you ever wanted to know. Prepare yourself.¡±

    ¡°Mmm...¡± Ken rumbles uncertainly, but doesn''t offer much response.

    ¡°Where are we going anyway?¡± I eventually ask.

    ¡°School store. I can only offer a temporary solution right now, we''ll have to go shopping next weekend.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, ok?¡±

    Following along from there, we arrive at the store, and Jen picks up... bandages? After some consideration, she also grabs some antibiotic ointment. She swipes her mobile over the reader, and we head out from there, making a beeline for the dorms.

    Without a hint of hesitation, she leads us into the men''s dorms. It feels like every eye is glued to us as we enter. Even the staff member at the desk raises an eyebrow when she asks us our room number over her shoulder, then starts to lead us up the stairs when we tell her.

    I do my best to ignore the stares, but I keep hearing mutters of ''damn,'' ''legend,'' and ''balls of steel.''

    Ugh...

    Soon enough, we hit the reader on the door and the three of us head inside. I toss my jacket on my bed, then start undoing my vest, while Jen takes a look around briefly, before opening the door to our wash room.

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    ¡°Huh, same as the girls'' side,¡± she notes with a shrug. Once I dump my vest in the laundry bin, I immediately see how my nipples are clearly visible, painfully hard and irritated under my white shirt. It makes me blush, especially when I catch Ken and Jen looking right at them.

    While Ken averts his eyes, Jen grabs me by the arm. ¡°Come on, Sei.¡± She drags me toward the wash room, saying, ¡°Ken, stay here.¡±

    Once we''re in the wash room, Jen goes to close the door, but I hold up a hand to stop her. ¡°Ken wanted to know, he should listen.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, alright,¡± she responds uncertainly, then calls, ¡°Ken, come here.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± he asks, walking over to stand just beyond the open door.

    Jen looks at me. ¡°Do you want to explain or should I?¡±

    I think about it, already blushing. I don''t really know that much besides what I''ve experienced, but I can''t just make her explain everything... Looking up to Ken, I say, ¡°So, running during gym made my nipples really sore.¡± His blush just makes me blush even more. He brings a hand up to cover his mouth and looks away briefly, and I can see him fighting to compose himself.

    ¡°Right,¡± he finally manages. ¡°So, a girl thing. Right.¡±

    I don''t really know how to explain any better, so I look to Jen pleadingly. She sighs, then gets to it. ¡°It''s called nipple chafing and it can happen to guys too. It''s just way worse for girls because you know, boobs.¡± She says it in a gruff tone, but even I catch her flushing red. ¡°It''s caused by your nipples rubbing against your clothing too much, like when you run. Now, turn around. You can listen, but I swear if you try to peek at Sei, I''ll cut your balls off and feed them to you.¡±

    With that... colorful threat lobbed his way, Ken immediately turns his back and promises not to look.

    ¡°Alright Sei, shirt,¡± she says expectantly. I nod hesitantly and pull it off, gulping and watching as she leans down to examine my breasts.

    ¡°Shit,¡± Jen hisses. ¡°They shouldn''t be this bad after one run. I guess because you just changed or something...? Anyway,¡± she waves a hand. ¡°Hold still, this is going to sting.¡±

    I nod a few times and prepare myself. As she works, she explains. ¡°First, since they''re already chafed pretty badly, wash them with soap and warm water. You want them clean to avoid scabs and more irritation.¡±

    I whine through my gritted teeth. The way she''s scrubbing feels like it''s burning... Thankfully, it doesn''t take her long.

    ¡°There, once that''s done, dry them.¡± She grabs a towel. ¡°Pat dry, don''t scrub. It''ll just hurt more and cause more irritation.¡± She does as she says, and I''m glad, this part doesn''t hurt as bad. ¡°Alright, the next part is the important one. You need these,¡± and she holds out the box of bandages.

    ¡°The idea is simple. Put a bandage over the nipple so it doesn''t rub against your clothes.¡± Oh, that is simple. ¡°However,¡± the interjection stops me there. ¡°It''s not a great solution, just a temporary one. First, because you need to replace them every day, or any time they come off, like any bandage.¡± That''s... fair. Even as a kid, bandages on a cut might need to be replaced multiple times a day if they get wet or something.

    ¡°And second,¡± she goes on, ¡°because taking them off hurts like a bitch.¡±

    Oh. Shit. Just thinking of pulling a bandage off normally, then applying that to these overly sensitive, sore breasts of mine... This going to be really unpleasant, isn''t it...?

    ¡°A-alright, I think I get it.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now, this time we''re going to use some ointment, like you would with a cut, to help with the chafing. Normally, you could just bandage it.¡± With her explanation finished, she offers me the box and starts working to unseal the ointment.

    I pull out one bandage from the box and start turning it around. It''s one of the large kinds with tabs running off in all four directions, that I''ve used for skinned knees and stuff before, instead of the little straight ones. I''m assuming they work better for this?

    ¡°Alright, here.¡± she hands me the ointment, then stands back to watch. Wincing a little, I take my time to carefully put them on, just like I would with a cut.

    ¡°And... done,¡± I mutter as I finish.

    ¡°Yup, just like that. Put those on every morning, and bring a few in your bag in case they come off during the day,¡± Jen instructs.

    I nod. I can do that. ¡°Now, like I said, this is just a temporary solution. This weekend, I''m going to take you to get some bras.¡±

    ¡°Bras?!¡± I gasp at the same time as Ken, who turns back in shock.

    With a growl, Jen socks him in the arm hard enough to make him recoil. ¡°I told you not to look, damn it!¡±

    He waves his hands in surrender. ¡°Sorry, I didn''t see anything!¡±

    ¡°You''re looking right now!¡± Shit, she''s right. I catch his eyes flicking past her, to my chest when she says that, and my arms come up automatically.

    No no, what am I covering up for?!

    As she''s stalking forward to hit him again, I lurch after her, grabbing her shoulder. ¡°J-Jen, hold on. It''s fine.¡±

    ¡°Hah?!¡±

    ¡°I don''t care if he sees my chest. I''m a guy, after all.¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah, I don''t care if I see Sei naked,¡± Ken agrees.

    Jen turns her glare back and forth between us, mouth half hanging open. Then she addresses me with a hard tone. ¡°You. I might believe you more if you could say that without blushing from chest to hairline.¡± I flinch when she hits me with that one.

    Then she spins back. ¡°And you. What''s with that?¡± Jen spits the words out like daggers, and points straight to Ken''s crotch, where his dick is straining against his pants.

    Oh god, I''m so hot I feel like I''m going to faint...

    ¡°I...¡± For a few seconds, Ken can''t argue back, but then he crosses his arms and squares his shoulders. ¡°I can''t control how my body reacts,¡± he suddenly claims, dead serious. ¡°I don''t care what it says, Sei''s a guy, so it doesn''t matter what he looks like.¡±

    Is he... for real...?

    Ken and Jen lock gazes for a long time, the air heavy between them, before Jen finally turns away with an angry snort.

    ¡°Fine, I know you''re serious, Ken. But this is not up to you. If Sei isn''t comfortable with it, then you don''t do it. And just look at him, does he look comfortable?¡± Stepping aside with a wave of her arm, she directs his gaze back onto me.

    I''m standing, shirt clutched in my hands, starting at Ken with wide eyes. ¡°I...¡± Why am I so embarrassed? It''s just Ken. He''s seen me without a shirt thousands of times, ever since we were kids.

    ¡°It''s... It''s just... It has to be this body,¡± I mumble at them. ¡°I''m ashamed to be seen like this. Like a girl... That has to be it... I shouldn''t be like this. I''m not supposed to be like this...¡±

    ¡°Sei...¡± Jen takes a half step forward, but I flinch away, arms wrapping around myself.

    ¡°I''m sorry, I just... I think I need some time...¡± When the tears form in my eyes, I cover my face. I''m not supposed to cry...

    ¡°Come on, Ken...¡± With soft steps, they both leave the room, and I flop down in bed. Why won''t the tears stop? I grab a penguin plushie, squeeze it to my chest, and cry.

    At some point, I fall asleep, but the next thing I know, I''m in a familiar scene...

 Chapter 7

    -Point of View: Jenna Corro-

    I don''t get it. Ken''s one thing. Stubborn as a brick, but he loves Sei to bits. Probably throw himself in front of a truck for the kid.

    But what the hell is with Sei? He looks like a girl, acts like a girl, and the world magically gives him an honest to god girl''s body, and he still says he''s a guy? Why is he so attached to the idea of manhood? It doesn''t make any damn sense! Is that really what he wants?

    Growling through my teeth, I march down the hall with Ken trailing behind me.

    He mentioned the bullying he went through when he was younger yesterday, is that it? Was being called a girl as an insult by a bunch of assholes really enough to put him off the idea that much? It can''t be that he looks down on women or something, he''s never shown one bit of disrespect for me or any other woman, like any of the bullying pricks we''ve had to deal with this whole time.

    So why is he so. Fucking. Stuck?!

    Does he really believe he''s male so strongly that the mountain of evidence that says otherwise means nothing to him? If that were the case, then that would be fine since he decides who he is, but even his arguments sound insincere! Didn''t he say he''s ''supposed'' to be a man? What does that even mean?! Shouldn''t it mean he''s not?!

    My thoughts keep turning it over. Ken, the bullies, Sei, Sei''s parents... He said they would disown him, didn''t he? Why? Something about disappointing them? How does a psi tremor messing with your body mean you''ve failed your parents? Why would they even care? It''s something completely out of his control anyway!

    Stomping my way into the boy''s common room, I pointedly ignore the idiotic gazes directed my way and throw myself down in an armchair near the corner. One look scares off the guy occupying the seat opposite, allowing Ken to drop into it himself.

    ¡°Hey, Ken,¡± I grunt. ¡°Tell me about Sei''s parents.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°I''ve got all these pieces but there''s still something missing.¡± His blank stare isn''t helping. ¡°Just tell me about them. What are they like?¡± I only met Sei and Ken in middle school, I never got acquainted with them the same way he did since we were in middle school and we couldn''t really go over each other''s houses. The most I know is his Dad seems pretty strict...

    ¡°Uhh, let''s see... his mom''s nice, she was always cooking stuff for us whenever we hung out at his house. But most of the time, she''d kick us out, said boys should play outside. I mean, my parents said the same, so...¡± He shrugs. ¡°I guess his mom''s one thing, but his dad always seemed really strict to me.¡±

    ¡°Strict how?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Uhh, well, he was in the military for a long time.¡± Sei''s dad is veteran? ¡°He always told Sei to man up when he was being bullied, and got him to start lifting weights and working out to get stronger so he could fight back. That was right before I met him.¡±

    ¡°Huh? What do you mean he lifts weights? He''s so tiny!¡± And didn''t they meet when Sei was in kindergarten? That doesn''t make any sense...

    ¡°I don''t know, I''ve never actually seen him lift. They''re probably just for show to get his dad off his back. I doubt he can even pick them up.¡±

    That''s... absurd. He started pretending to lift weights at five years old just to appease his father?

    ¡°Tell me more. What else do you know about his dad?¡±

    ¡°Uhh, you''ve seen him, remember? Guy''s built like a gorilla, I saw him ripping trees out of the ground with his hands one time. Was always saying stuff like that is the job of a man.¡±

    I frown. I''m already starting to see a pattern... God, Ken is dense sometimes. ¡°What else? How... you know what, nevermind. I have an idea. You have Sei''s house number?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Cool, give me your mobile real quick.¡± Hearing from them should tell me what I need to know.

    ¡°What are you up to now...?¡± he wonders suspiciously, but passes it off anyway.

    Hopping up from my seat, I scan over the room, plenty of guys sitting around in various states of not paying attention to me and pretending not to pay attention to me.

    ¡°You,¡± I target an older one that I don''t recognize from middle school. The guy shouldn''t be from Ferrvale, so they won''t recognize his number. He looks up at me from his seat as I approach, eyebrows arching up on his surprisingly handsome face.

    ¡°Hey, can I borrow your mobile?¡± I ask. He glares suspiciously at the other mobile already in my hand, but someone else slaps him on the back and eggs him on, so he pulls his out and hands it over. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    Pulling up his dialer, I copy over the number from Ken''s mobile, and and hit call. Ken leans in close to my side to listen in. I ignore him and everyone else, and stare at the far wall of the room, mentally preparing myself. Building up my story... Alright.

    While it starts to ring, I shake my hair out, straighten up, and clear my throat. It connects.

    ¡°Hello, Maka residence.¡± Sei''s mom.

    I put on my serious, adult woman? voice. ¡°Good afternoon, ma''am, my name is Trisha Boston. I''m a counselor from Meridan County High School.¡±

    ¡°Oh my, is anything the matter with Seiko?¡±

    ¡°No, everything is fine, we''re just looking to build profiles on our students so we can better tailor our career counseling. For that, we''re calling select parents because they are the most likely to have a clear view of their children''s character.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I see. That''s much more proactive than any of the counseling they had back in my day,¡± she laughs pleasantly.

    ¡°Yes, it certainly is,¡± I throw in a pointless agreement. If only it was actually like that...

    ¡°Of course I''ll help Seiko any way I can. What would you like to know?¡±

    ¡°Oh, just some general information. First, how would you describe your son? Is he a hard worker? Bookish? An athlete?¡± I toss out a few examples with my opener.

    ¡°Let''s see... He''s definitely a hard worker, his grades have always been excellent.¡±

    ¡°I see, that''s very good to hear,¡± I chip in.

    ¡°Yes, now what else...? He''s always been so gentle and kind, and has a strong will.¡± It sounds like she''s on a roll, so I shut up and let her go. ¡°I''ve always said he has a gentle soul, but he gets flustered and self-conscious easily. He''s had confidence problems for years because he''s an extremely late bloomer, but those should start clearing up soon since he finally hit his growth spurt recently.¡±

    She''s starting to slow down, so I speak up again. ¡°Ahh, that''s unfortunate. I''m glad to hear things are improving.¡±

    I still don''t know how to move the conversation where I want it, so for now, I try staying with something safe until I see an opening. ¡°Now... has your son ever talked about what he wants to do or who he wants to be in the future? And also, what do you picture for him as he grows up?¡±

    Her reply is immediate. ¡°Seiko has always said he wants to grow up to be a man.¡±

    My eye twitches. ¡°Be a... man? Could you elaborate?¡± I guess that''s my opening.

    ¡°Ah, yes, I suppose that sounds silly without context. He had to deal with a lot of bullying when he was younger, so he''s always dreamed of being a strong man who can grab the world by the horns.¡±

    ¡°I see, I see, impressive character.¡± Did he say that because of the bullying? Pushing her onto the next part of the question, I ask, ¡°Now, what about your thoughts? Lots of parents have some sort of vision for their children, do you have any ideas about what you would like him to be in the future?¡± I know mine do, always telling me to become a secretary like my Mom. Like hell I''d want to be a glorified note-taker/coffee brewer...

    ¡°Of course. His dream is my dream.¡±

    ¡°...Pardon?¡± I stumble at the strange response.

    ¡°Hmm, what I mean is, I''ve always believed Seiko can be whatever he wants to be. He has always said he wants to be a man like his father, so that''s what I want for him too.¡±

    ¡°Wow, I see. That certainly is-¡± the hell do I say to that?! ¡°-impressive, Maka-san.¡± When she makes a questioning noise, I have to pause, panicking as I try to figure out where to go from there.

    Got it! ¡°There are plenty of parents out there who have very set directions they wish to push their children. I was saying it''s impressive how you support him so wholeheartedly.¡± Whoo, safe.

    ¡°Why, thank you, Boston-san.¡± Who? Oh, my fake name, right. I shake my head. Keep it together, girl!

    ¡°Of course. I believe those are all of my questions for you, could I speak to your husband? Is he available right now?¡± Now what I really want to know is who is this man? Why does Sei look up to him so much?

    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Yes yes, of course. Albert!¡± she shouts, but it''s quiet, aimed away from the phone. ¡°Come here, there''s a woman from Seiko''s school on the phone!¡±

    There''s some muffled fumbling with the phone, and the sound of Miss Maka explaining things briefly, before the vaguely familiar voice of Sei''s dad comes across the line.

    ¡°Hello? Boston-san, was it?¡±

    I take a deep breath, and refocus, getting to work. ¡°Yes, sir. This is Albert Maka-san?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you have some questions about Sei?¡± Sei? My eyes narrow, noting the difference. His father calls him by a nickname?

    ¡°Yes, sir. To start, could you describe your son?¡± For now, I''ll start with the same opener questions...

    ¡°Sei is... a work in progress.¡± What? ¡°He has so much potential, but he squanders it a lot of the time. He has booksmarts, but that''s not enough to get ahead, you know? He tries, but he''s weak willed and doesn''t have the guts to stand up for himself.¡±

    This... this man is trash talking his son? To a school counselor?!

    Biting down on my rising bile, I intone, ¡°Oh dear, that''s unfortunate. Has he tried to do anything to overcome those issues?¡±

    ¡°I guess, but his heart''s never in it. Seems like all the advice I give him on how to man up just goes in one ear and out the other.

    I pause, making an ''mhmm'' sound to make it seem like I''m writing up something, to give myself time. Do I press further here? Would it be too suspicious? No, I have to. I''m not sure if I could get back to this through a different line of questioning.

    ¡°So, advice...¡± I hum out like I''m considering his words. ¡°That certainly could be useful information to have. What advice would you give your son?¡±

    Thankfully, that doesn''t seem to raise any alarms from the man. Rather... ¡°Oh yeah, if you''re a counselor, you can give him my advice too. Maybe you''ll have better luck getting through to him.¡±

    ¡°Y-yes...?¡± Even I can''t help my voice shaking slightly here.

    ¡°Alright, make sure to note this down. First off, I got him training weights to bulk up, but he never uses them. I''m sure you know how important a solid base of fitness is for a growing man.¡± The weights again...?

    ¡°Of course...¡±

    ¡°Right, so there''s that. Then, he has these other weaknesses that he refuses to fix. He''s timid, and passive. He lets people push him around and leaves everything to others. If there''s one thing they taught me in the army, it''s that you should take what you want by force. Of course, he''s still too weak to do that, which is what the weight training is for...¡± The man sighs, as if all of these things are oh so woeful weights on his heart.

    ¡°There are also these things he does, like collecting fuzzy toys.¡± He says the words like they''re something disgusting. ¡°And ever since he turned ten, he''s refused to cut his hair. He says it looks cool, but it just makes him look even more like a girl than he already does!¡±

    This man... Is he seriously just going off about his kid like this to a school counselor right now...?

    ¡°He''s so soft and small... he''s fifteen centimeters shorter than his younger sister.¡±

    That''s... literally not even something he has control over...

    ¡°He always got bullied, and instead of listening to me and training so he could beat them himself, he found other people to fight for him. What''s he going to do the minute they''re gone? He''s like a helpless woman on his own!¡±

    A helpless woman? Excuse me?

    ¡°If he doesn''t get his act together, he''ll be a laughing stock forever and never catch himself a wife. No woman would touch a man like him as he is now!¡±

    So this is what Sei''s been living with. The father he''s always looked up to. I feel like I''m going to blow a blood vessel in my head if I keep listening. I don''t know if I even trust myself to speak at this point. Even so, I choke down and grit my teeth. ¡°My, that certainly is troublesome. Do you believe that your son entering puberty will help fix how effeminate he is?¡±

    ¡°Damn right, but only if he finally buckles in, mans the hell up, and starts listening. I''m sure he has it in him, he''s my son after all!¡±

    ¡°Yes, I''m sure he has excellent potential. Just need to cut out the flaws and polish him up, and he''ll really shine.¡± My facade is cracking...

    ¡°Of course he will,¡± the man grunts. ¡°Otherwise, I''ll have to throw him into the military, let them whip him into shape.¡± I can''t take this...

    ¡°Well, sir, you''ve given us quite a bit of information to work with, thank you very much for taking time out of your day for this.¡± Oh god, I need to get off this call.

    ¡°No problem, have a nice day, Boston-san.¡±

    ¡°You as well, Maka-san.¡±

    There''s a click, followed by a moment of silence.

    ¡°RRAAAHHHH!¡± I scream and fling the mobile off into the distance. Flailing in rage I see nothing but red, grabbing and flipping a coffee table into the air and scattering papers in every direction before huge arms grab me from behind.

    ¡°Woah, woah! Calm down!¡± comes Ken''s voice in my ear, and the next thing I know, I''m being dragged away from the sea of surrounding faces. I struggle, but Ken''s way stronger than I am, so I kick my legs uselessly until we''re outside the front of the dorm, and he finally drops me.

    Then I''m stomping back and forth in the grass, screaming at the top of my lungs. ¡°THAT BASTARD! NO WONDER WHY SEI IS LIKE THIS! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU FORCE SHIT LIKE THAT ON A CHILD YOU ARROGANT FUCKING ASSHOLE?!¡±

    After a few minutes of that, I have a hoarse voice, a good deal more ability to reason, and a very large crowd of onlookers. Standing very, very far back.

    ¡°Ugh, come on Ken, we have to talk.¡±

    <hr><hr><hr>

    -Point of View: Seiko Maka-

    ¡°Seiko? That''s a girl name!¡± The little boy points at me, no more than five years old. ¡°Are you a girl?¡±

    My first day of kindergarten.

    ¡°No, Mommy says it''s not!¡±

    I''m at the front of the class, giving my first day introduction. But the other boy just stands up and shouts that at me across the room.

    The whole class laughs, and I cry. That makes them laugh more, and my parents have to come pick me up.

    ¡°Really? Crying over something like that? You''re in school already, Sei! You''ve got to man up, son!¡±

    ¡°Why do I have a girl name?¡± I cry.

    ¡°It''s not, sweetie.¡±

    ¡°Except it is,¡± Daddy scoffs. ¡°Why did you do something like that? Didn''t we already decide on Bruce if he was a boy? Nice, strong name. So much more fitting.¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry, honey. I don''t know. It''s just, when I saw him for the first time and held him in my arms... Bruce was wrong. Seiko just came to me. I looked it up, it''s not a girl''s name. It''s about truth. I think it was meant to happen. I think it was the will of the world telling me that he needed to be true to himself.¡±

    ¡°Shina, I have no idea what you''re talking about. You looked up a poorly translated foreign name on a whim and used that to give our son a girl''s name.¡±

    ¡°No, I-¡±

    ¡°Sei, don''t cry. If you try twice as hard as the rest of the boys, you''ll be four times the man they''ll ever be.¡±

    ¡°What does that even...-¡±

    ¡°This is a man''s world, son. Ripe for the picking, as long as you''re strong enough. Don''t listen to anyone else, as long as you keep pushing, you''ll be just like me one day.¡±

    ¡°Oh, hush, he doesn''t even know what you''re talking about.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not now, but he will one day.¡±

    ¡°I''ll be like Daddy!¡±

    ¡°Of course you will, Seiko, as long as that''s what you want. You can be anything you want to be.....¡±

    The words all start to jumble together as the dream trails off.

    My eyes crack open slowly. It''s dark in my room and I''m lying on top of the covers, still half naked. I grumble, rolling onto my back and throwing an arm over my eyes as the images continue to play across my blacked out vision. Why did it have to be that dream again? They always said I could become what I wanted to be. So why did I become this...?

    Glancing over at the bed across, it''s empty. With a sigh, I roll over again to sit off the edge of my bed. Leaning over, I grab a weight. I sit there, mindlessly lifting for a while, switching hands back and forth.

    Why do I even bother? I could never gain any muscle before, and now I''m a... Now my body is female, so how would I ever bulk up?

    At some point, my mobile dings, so I slide over to my desk, absentmindedly checking it with one hand, the other continuing my pointless exercise. It''s a text from Mom about a call from a school counselor. What for? I keep scrolling through the message. She talks about a nice woman asking questions to refine my career counseling.

    ¡­

    What kind of bullshit is that? This school doesn''t even do career counseling, does it? I run a hand through my hair, agitated, before I get back to skimming the message. Apparently she gave Dad the phone and he just started going off at the counselor about me needing to get my act together.

    Ugh, of course he did. He''s not even wrong, I''m such a useless mess... God, he would be so ashamed if he saw me now...

    I have to drop the weight so I can wipe at my eyes. Damn it, I''m not supposed to cry...

    Eventually, I toss the mobile back on my desk and trudge into the wash room. I turn on the hot water in the shower and stand under it for a bit, trying to let it wash away some of these feelings. It actually does help a little. The hot water is relaxing...

    After some time, I turn my little pick-me-up into a proper shower, washing my hair and scrubbing myself clean. It''s nice, especially since I couldn''t shower after gym earlier. I probably take a little while too long standing under the hot water, but I''ve had an awful day, so I give myself some time.

    Once I get out of the shower, I frown at my fingers a little, because they''re kind of pruny. As I''m toweling off my oddly longer hair, I look at my new bottle of lotion. ¡°Mmm, Jen said to use this after showers...¡± I scan over the directions on the bottle, but it basically just says to put it on and rub it in.

    Alright, let''s see how this works... I take a few pumps from the bottle in my hand and start spreading it around my arms and legs. Wow, it actually goes pretty far. With just what I have, I get up to my chest and back too.

    Once more, I give my breasts an experimental squeeze. They''re still sore, but they give a kind of pleasant feeling anyway. You''d think a female body would be more... inconvenient? Unpleasant? It''s everything I''ve ever been trying to get away from, and yet it feels so annoyingly ordinary.

    Suddenly, there''s a swish, cutting off my train of thought. I don''t even have time to be properly surprised as the door opens and Ken is standing right there. He cuts short right in the doorway, eyes going wide. I''m too stunned to react for a few moments.

    Then he closes the door again. I keep standing there, face growing hotter by the second. My hands come up to my cheeks. No no no no, why do I feel like this?!

    After a minute of internal screaming, I wrap my towel around myself and walk out into our room. ¡°Wash room''s free.¡± I try to say it nonchalantly, but it ends up coming out as a squeak. Neither of us address that at all.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Ken replies in an actual nonchalant tone, and walks in. After I change into some clothes, I flop down in bed and grab my mobile. What time is it anyway? Ugh, pretty late. And I''m not really tired because I just slept through the afternoon.

    Grumbling to myself about messing up my sleep schedule, I fish some books out of my school bag and start reading. Mostly just skimming really, but it at least helps me familiarize myself with what we''ll be learning in class.

    Eyes scanning over the pages, I sigh.

 Chapter 8

    The rest of the week crawls by without incident. Each day is full of ups and downs, with Ken''s birthday landing in the middle of the week. We all have a party after school, but it isn''t too big a to-do or anything. Runa does bake cake though.

    Still, by Friday afternoon, effectively nothing has changed. I don''t get found out, but Leona Vicca never comes in either. When I ask the teachers, they just say she''s on leave, and have absolutely nothing else to offer.

    Things feel fine on the surface with Ken and Jen, but there''s this little bit of distance now, and I have no idea how to close it. It''s not like they''re avoiding me or anything, they''re just... I don''t know, something is different about them, but I can''t place it.

    The way they''re treating me? I think it feels about the same. Just as he promised, Ken doesn''t get weird or anything, even when he sees me naked a couple times. That doesn''t help my stupid, ashamed, blushing responses though.

    It''s not me that''s being different, is it...?

    As for Jen, she takes up playing with my hair on breaks more than she used to now that it''s a little longer. And I''m not complaining, it feels wonderful. She even compliments me on it and says it''s cute a couple times as she runs her hands through it. I''m not happy about the cute part, but... well, she''s being really sincere, so I eventually just take the complements.

    I manage to settle into a comfortable rhythm with classes too. I have to change clothes in the toilet before gym class, and some people walk in when I''m changing a couple times, but that''s no big deal. Since I can''t shower after gym, I take a quick one when I get back to my room each day. I quickly discover that putting on moisturizer when I get out makes my skin feel incredible.

    Of course, I can''t wash my hair every day or it''ll dry out, so I wind up borrowing some hair ties from Lucy to tie it up in the shower. Soon enough, those wind up in Jen''s hands between classes, and she has fun tying up my hair in all sorts of different styles. They''re met with various levels of praise and confusion as the girls try to make sense of some of the stranger ones.

    For the most part though, it''s just more compliments from them about how pretty my hair is.

    I really like my hair...

    By Friday, even Ken chimes in once, telling me it''s cute with his goofy grin.

    Somehow, I actually manage to enjoy my first week of school.

    After studying and some more weight lifting while Ken''s off taking a bath, I settle in on Friday night. There is one thing I''m pretty worried about coming up. Bra shopping...

    The bandages worked as well as Jen said they would, and I managed to get them off each day with minimal pain by doing it after they got soaked in the shower, but they were still a hassle. I know that a bra would solve these problems. It''s what they''re for.

    But, wearing one...

    When I think about it, all I can do is imagine my Mom and Dad, the disgusted looks on their faces...

    Why am I getting further away from being a man...?

    But! It''s not like I want to! It''s just this body, it has boobs, it needs one!

    I guess that was the bad part of this last week. Like every day up to now, I end up crying myself to sleep when I inevitably think of my parents...

    So much for not crying...

    ¡°Good morning, guys,¡± Jen chirps as we meet up in front of the dorm, early Saturday morning.

    ¡°Morning...¡± I yawn back, while Ken offers a much more coherent response. Always such an early riser...

    We all walk at a quick clip, across campus to the transit terminal. Even this early, there are other people gathered around. Soon enough, the shuttle arrives and we all pile on. It''s a quick trip as the automated vehicle blazes down the road, soon after calling out, ¡°Meridan East Mall, arriving at Meridan East Mall,¡± in its usual synthesized drone.

    The doors open up, and everyone piles back out. Except us. The doors close again, and the now-empty shuttle whisks us away from the mall right next to campus. Why? Because as Jen put it on the way to the terminal, going bra shopping at the local mall is a TERRIBLE IDEA.

    You know, the mall absolutely packed with our schoolmates where we''ll have a 99% chance of them seeing and the whole trip ending in catastrophic failure? Yeah, that mall.

    So instead, we''re going to a different stop, past that. The trip is twice as long, almost a half hour away way, but the alternative is blowing my cover at my school and being disowned by my parents, so it''s kind of a no-brainer.

    Once it''s just the three of us on the shuttle, Jen digs into a bag she brought with her. ¡°Sei, you''re going to need to wear these.¡±

    ¡°Hmm?¡± I watch as she pulls out a few articles of clothing. They just look like a t-shirt and jeans, pretty much like what I''m wearing now. ¡°How come?¡±

    ¡°Because, these are girl clothes and you do not want to be seen shopping for bras if the people there think you''re a guy, do you?¡±

    All at once, I cringe. For multiple reasons. At the thought of wearing girl''s clothes, and at the looks I would get, like a man shopping for women''s bras. What people would say.

    Pervert. Freak.

    I''m conflicted. Do I put on the girl clothes to avoid notice? Can I?

    ¡°Come on, Sei, don''t worry so much,¡± Jen chides me, ¡°just look at them.¡±

    Oh yeah, that''s right. They don''t really look much different from what I''m already wearing. That thought banishes the vast majority of my anxiety over the clothes, making it an easy decision to take them.

    Since it''s just us on the shuttle, we decide that I should change here. Especially because the alternative is finding a women''s toilet because as Jen says again, the men''s would be a TERRIBLE IDEA.

    If I''m supposed to be passing myself off as a girl, I can''t just walk in and out of the men''s toilet. So while Ken turns his back, I strip off my clothes and slide into hers.

    They... huh. They''re pretty much just like mine. Like, almost exactly like what I was wearing. Sure, the cut of the clothing is different so that it should be more form fitting, but Jen''s clothes are like, a half dozen sizes too big for me, so they''re just as loose and baggy as my own guy clothes.

    ¡°Ok, change of plans...¡± Jen mumbles, one of her eyes twitching at me for some reason. ¡°We get you some girl clothes, and then look for bras.

    ¡°Yeah, I guess we don''t really have a choice.¡±

    I don''t know if I''m nervous, excited, or what, as we chat the rest of the way to our destination. Soon enough, we hear the callout. ¡°Pilkton Square, arriving at Pilkton Square.¡±

    We climb off, into a quaint little paved courtyard that stretches between numerous shops. It''s not a nice, neat, enclosed shopping area with tons of stuff like the mall is, but there''s still plenty here.

    ¡°There''s the bra shop,¡± Jen calls it out as we walk past on our way to the clothing store. Even from this distance, I can see the lacy displays in the windows. I''m not... going to wear frilly stuff like that, am I...? My head is spinning and my cheeks heat at just the thought.

    Thankfully, we escape to the clothing store first. ¡°Alright, we aren''t looking for much, just something that actually fits you. Also, black shirt, trust me.¡± And Jen hands me a black shirt that looks like it''s my size. It takes a little longer to find a pair of jeans sized for me, especially at my height, then we head over to the changing room.

    ¡°Why black?¡± I ask on the way over.

    She looks pointedly at my chest, then responds, ¡°So you don''t show through.¡±

    I gulp. ¡°Y-yeah, sounds good.¡±

    I scan the two items in on my way into the changing room, then change into them. They''re definitely tight and form fitting. The jeans mold to my... surprisingly wide hips. Are they accentuating them somehow? I don''t think they looked that wide when I was naked... Besides that, the front of the black shirt completely shows the shape of my breasts... Is this how these clothes are supposed to be?

    ¡°Uhh, Jen?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Can you come look at this?¡±

    I swing the door open as she moves to look through, and her face absolutely lights up.

    ¡°Oh my god, Sei, you look great! That''s so cute!¡± The sudden gush of praise makes me go red from ear to ear, heart racing, and I look away bashfully.

    Wait wait, being called cute isn''t a good thing! No, but I''m supposed to look like a girl here, so that means it''s working, right? Yeah, being cute here is fine. It''s good.

    Shaking away my moment of doubt, I smile again and say, ¡°Alright, I''ll get them.¡±

    Then, I remember, and my heart sinks. ¡°Sorry Jen, could you buy them...? I''ll just, uhh, send you a payment...¡± I pull out my mobile and start to open up my payment app, when Jen stops me.

    ¡°Sei, aren''t you forgetting? You''re an adult now.¡± It takes me a moment, but then it clicks.

    I''m an adult! My parents don''t have access to my bank records for all my purchases anymore! I can buy clothes myself without them knowing!

    Jumping up and down, I squeal with delight. Then I lean over and swipe my mobile past the scanner to pay for the clothes, and I''m done.

    Leaping over the threshold, I tackle hug Jen, laughing and giggling with sudden, frantic energy. After a few moments, I realize what I''m doing and pull away awkwardly, coughing into my hand and trying to calm myself. I still have a huge grin on my face though.

    After giving me another quick hug, Jun rubs my head gently and says, ¡°Good for you, Seiko.¡±

    The smile falls from my face.

    ¡°Seik- Uhh, Sei?¡± Jen asks worriedly.

    ¡°A-ahh, no, sorry. It''s nothing.¡± I shake my head and make myself smile again. ¡°Let''s keep going, alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± let''s go,¡± Ken jumps in, sweeping us both up from behind and herding us out of the clothing store.

    I wind up in the squeezed into the middle on the walk, one of them pressed close on each side of me. It''s quiet, no one saying anything, but I can somehow feel an entire wordless conversation passing between the two of them as we go. What''s up with them, I wonder...?

    It''s a short walk across the plaza, before we arrive outside the bra store. Finally standing in front of it like this, I gulp nervously.

    ¡°Am I... really going in...?¡± I mumble.

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    ¡°Yup, come on,¡± and Jen pulls me gently by the hand, in through the front door. I glance back to find Ken following, arms crossed over his chest with an obviously uncomfortable expression on his face, and his gaze pointed up at the ceiling, only glancing downward briefly at the racks and tables of women''s underwear all around us.

    That''s when it finally registers. Jen called it a bra store, but isn''t this actually a lingerie store?! Somehow that makes me even more anxious!

    No no no, I''m only here for bras. I''m fine wearing my normal underwear. It''s not like I need girl panties the same way I need bras.

    ¡°Hello ladies!¡± I jump when a woman right in front of us that I should have noticed greets us. My heart''s hammering so hard, it''s getting hard to breathe... The woman''s eyes flick over to Ken, then back to us, before she goes on. ¡°What are you looking for today?¡±

    Jen closes her hands on my shoulders and speaks clearly. ¡°She''s never been shopping for bras before.¡± I twitch when she suddenly refers to me like that. Is this lady really not going to notice anything? No, it''s fine, there''s nothing to notice, not with my body as it is! ¡°For right now, she really only needs sports bras,¡± Jen finishes while I''m having my micro-meltdown.

    ¡°Alright, should I get her sizes?¡±

    Jen looks down at me briefly, and I stare back up. I don''t even really know what they''re talking about, so I''m leaving it all in her hands. ¡°Nah, not today. Maybe next time,¡± she decides.

    ¡°That''s fine, let me show you to the section you''re looking for.¡± While we follow the saleswoman through the store, I finally start to calm down and stop tunnel-visioning at the floor where I''m walking.

    I look up, and around us a little more. It''s... just underwear, isn''t it...?

    ¡°Alright, ladies, here you go.¡± I finally have the sense to look at the saleswoman, and I''m surprised. She has the same shade of purple hair as Lucy, and she''s surprisingly young. Older than us, but possibly still high school age. Nineteen or twenty?

    Looking past her, I follow Jen to the racks of plastic packages. There are whole rows of them, with some difference between each one I''m sure, but I don''t know how to tell them apart at a glance.

    ¡°Mmmm....¡± Jen is frowning for some reason. ¡°These are padded sports bras, do you have any unpadded ones?¡±

    The woman tilts her head slightly, her eyes moving to my chest for some reason, forcing me to fight off the automatic urge to cover myself. But then she says, ¡°Of course, right over here,¡± anyway. She leads us over to a somewhat smaller rack of packages.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± Jen mutters, tracing a finger over a number of them, before she plucks one from the shelf. ¡°Alright, look here, Sei.¡± As I scan over the writing, seeing that it''s marked as a three-pack, she explains. ¡°This is a sports bra, it will give you the support and protection you need while running. They don''t come in normal bra sizes, just small, medium, large, and all that, because they''re elastic.¡±

    Alright, I''m following so far. ¡°I picked out a small for you, and it''s flesh tone. That''s important because the color won''t show through any of your shirts. I don''t think I should need to tell you, but having your bra show through your shirt is bad.¡±

    I follow her surface meaning, how it''s just not something a girl wants. But underneath... how I absolutely cannot let anyone see that I''m wearing bras at school.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I answer nervously.

    Then Jen asks the woman who waited patiently through the whole explanation, ¡°Can she try one of these on?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± With a wave of her hand, she leads us to the changing room, then digs around behind the counter there until she finds an already open package of the same type, and hands me one to try.

    I walk into the changing room and close the door. By the time I have my shirt off, Jen speaks up in a voice loud enough to hear from inside. ¡°Slide it on over your head.¡±

    Following her instructions, I pull it up over my head, slipping my arms through, so the wide, flat straps should settle over my shoulders. I have to wiggle into it because it''s tight and stretchy, but once I''m in...

    ¡°Oh wow.¡± I turn around, looking at myself in a mirror. It''s basically the same tannish ivory as my skin, and molds itself tight to my body like a glove. This is really comfortable. I hop a couple times, and don''t get any of the breast bounce I normally do. So this is how the other girls in gym class manage, they wear sports bras...

    I straighten up, frowning at myself. ¡°Yeah, that''s really obvious, now that I think about it.¡± Then I shake off those thoughts.

    I really like how this feels, but I don''t actually know if this is how it''s supposed to be, so I ask, ¡°Hey, umm, how does this look?¡± and open up the door for them to see.

    On the other side, Jen and the saleswoman are standing there, giving me appraising looks, but my eyes catch on Ken, just a short way behind them, his eyes snapping to me, then swiftly away.

    Even as I feel the heat rise in my cheeks, I take deep breaths. He''s already seen me topless a half dozen times in our room, this hardly even counts. Yeah, being seen in a bra is no big deal.

    So why am I still so embarrassed?! Keeping my screaming thoughts inside, I turn around for them, and both women give me the ok. I close the door, and fight to wriggle my way back out of the bra. It takes a surprising amount of work, and in the end, I need to pull the whole thing off over my head, turning it inside out in the process, just to get it done.

    While I''m putting my shirt back on, I think about how much tighter girl clothes are. You can''t just throw them on and be done with it. Huh...

    I step back out of the changing room and hand the saleswoman back the bra I tried on, which she stashes away somewhere behind the counter, before leading us up to the front of the shop. We stop along the way so Jen can grab me another two packages of the same sports bras. So I''ll have nine bras to wear...?

    When we reach the front, the saleswoman scans the three packages and slides them into a fancy little bag, but I''m staring dumbfounded at the price. Bras are expensive!

    It''s fine, I need these. I shake off the sticker shock and swipe my mobile to pay.

    ¡°Nice doing business with you today, ladies.¡±

    ¡°You too,¡± we both respond together with big smiles.

    Then, just as we turn around to leave, a shock of purple hair enters my sight. Appearing right in front of us, Lucy at the entrance of the store. ¡°Woah, what are you guys doing here?!¡± she gapes, a moment before Amari comes in behind her.

    I freeze, the blood draining from my face as the two girls'' eyes fall on me. Their gazes flick up and down my body, with my tight fitting women''s clothes, and to the bag of underwear in my hand.

    Why are they here? Why now? What the hell am I supposed to do?!

    To everyone''s surprise, Lucy isn''t the first one to move, Amari is. Rushing straight up to me, she grabs my hands and clutches them tightly.

    ¡°Sei-kun, you''re a natural!¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± pretty much everyone has the same response to her incomprehensible outburst.

    While Lucy follows on her heels, it''s the shopkeeper the speaks next. ¡°Lucy, Amari-chan, do you know these girls?¡±

    ¡°Gir-¡± Lucy starts, but trips over her words. ¡°Uhh, yeah, they''re our friends from school. We hang out together all the time.¡±

    ¡°Really? That''s great,¡± the older woman beams. ¡°One week and you''ve already made new friends!¡± Stepping out from behind the counter, she stops momentarily to scan across the otherwise empty shop, before continuing.

    With a shallow bow, she says, ¡°Let me introduce myself. I''m Lucy''s older sister, Sanya Miki. Meridan High School, class 4-A.¡±

    One by one, we go around, giving our own names and classes at school.

    ¡°Haah, so Yono-kun and Maka-chan are in your class...¡± Miki says, a finger to her cheek in thought.

    ¡°I go over for all the breaks, and we have gym together,¡± Jen supplies.

    ¡°So that''s how it is...¡± With another warm smile, Miki says, ¡°It''s really nice to meet you all. I''m glad Lucy has such cute friends. And handsome, too,¡± she tags on after, throwing a look Ken''s way.

    All waving to Miki, we leave the shop. It''s only once we''re outside that Amari suddenly rounds on me again. ¡°Sei-kun, that cosplay is amazing!¡± I''ve never seen the shy Amari so heated up before...

    ¡°C-cosplay?¡± I stammer.

    ¡°Yeah! And it sounded like Sanya-san thought you were an actual girl!¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡±

    ¡°Speaking of...¡± Lucy chimes in, sounding curious rather than excited, and points awkwardly at the bag clutched tightly in my hands. ¡°What did you buy, anyway?¡±

    Red faced, I stare at the ground. They''re going to think I''m some sort of creepy pervert... We came all the way out here and still wound up running into people from school...

    ¡°Bras...¡± I admit at a whisper.

    ¡°Huh...¡± Lucy murmurs, eyeing my chest again. ¡°Guess that makes sense.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± What makes sense about that?

    With a little head tilt, she points at my chest. ¡°You got that effect from stuffing a padded bra, right?¡±

    ¡°Uhh...¡± I''m not sure what she means, but...

    But my awkward response makes Amari light up again. ¡°Don''t tell me, breast forms?!¡± I don''t know what she''s talking about, but she''s bouncing up and down excitedly coming right up to me. ¡°I''ve never met a crossplayer with those before! Can I feel?¡±

    ¡°Bu- no- I-¡± I have no idea how to respond, hands coming up ineffectually in my shock as she reaches for me from right up close. My friends see me panicking and move, but it''s too late.

    Amari''s grabs my breasts through my shirt, and she beams, closing her eyes and clearly savoring the feeling as she fondles them. ¡°Wow, they feel so realistic...¡± Everyone else freezes in place.

    A lump rises in my throat, tears filling my eyes. The roughness of her groping makes me wince, sending a few tear drops down my cheeks.

    Lucy looks across the three of us, the truth written on all of our shocked faces. She takes a halting step forward and grabs Amari by the arm. ¡°A-Amari... Stop...¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± she glances away to Lucy, then back to me, and flinches when she meets my eyes. Her hands draw away slowly. ¡°S-sorry...¡± she mumbles. ¡°I didn''t... Sorry...¡±

    With my shoulders shaking, all I can do is wipe at my eyes. What am I supposed to do now...? They found out...

    My parents are going to find out...

    ¡°We need to talk.¡± Ken''s voice doesn''t leave any room for argument. Trying my hardest not to panic, I follow along until we sit down somewhere.

    I stare at the ground between everyone''s feet, trying to keep breathing. They know I''m not a boy... they know I''m not a boy...

    ¡°First off, you can''t tell anyone about this, alright?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah, of course.¡± I glance up when Lucy agrees immediately, and Amari nods emphatically next to her. They... won''t tell...?

    ¡°So, uhh, basically, Sei''s body changed sexes,¡± Ken offers flatly.

    ¡°Well... yeah, guessed as much from the...¡± Lucy vaguely gestures to her chest. ¡°...you know. But how?¡±

    Jen says, ¡°Probably the psi tremor last Friday. That''s when it happened.¡±

    Lucy considers it, then snaps her fingers and goes, ¡°Aha, that hair growth last week!¡± and everyone nods. Then she tilts her head and starts counting off on her fingers. ¡°And changing in the toilet. And sneaking off at the end of gym. And you guys being all secretive. Sticking to you like glue. Running off at random. The hair play all the time... Ok wow we''re dense!¡± Lucy facepalms and laughs at herself.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± she waves her hands. ¡°It''s not even that surprising when I think about it. Heard of much weirder shit happening from psi tremors. Sei-san''s already such a girl that it''s been a week and no one even noticed.¡±

    Hearing it said like that... ¡°Hic,¡± I hiccup as I start to cry again.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Jen growls, ¡°Sei is really sensitive about that!¡±

    ¡°Huh? She is?¡±

    ¡°He,¡± Ken grunts.

    Amari makes a confused sound and asks, ¡°He? Didn''t you just say that, umm, Sei-san became a girl?¡±

    ¡°Whatever happens to Sei, he''s still Sei,¡± Jen huffs. ¡°He says he''s a guy, so he is.¡±

    ¡°Haahh...¡± After the two purple haired girls join together to make an uncertain sound, Ken is the next to speak.

    ¡°Sei got bullied when he was younger for not being very manly, and he really took it to heart. So he''s really sensitive to these things, alright?¡±

    ¡°O-oh, like Vance-san...¡± Lucy intones with a nasty grimace. ¡°Shit, that must have been rough.¡±

    ¡°You don''t know the half of it,¡± Jen sighs tiredly. ¡°But that''s a discussion for later.¡± Then she looks pointedly at me for some reason. Why? Lucy makes an understanding sound though, and moves the conversation on.

    ¡°So, Sei-san is hiding the changes to his body at school for now,¡± she surmises with a little head bob, before asking, ¡°uhh, why?¡±

    That just makes Jen sigh again and lay her head in her hands. Ken is the one that explains. ¡°His family would disown him if they found out.¡±

    ¡°Wait, seriously?¡± Lucy looks between us in disbelief.

    ¡°That fuck...¡± Jen growls into her hands.

    ¡°Yeah, that''s also a story for later,¡± Ken randomly adds emphasis. ¡°For now, we''re keeping it all under wraps while Sei comes to grips with his new body and looks for a way to change back. That''s kind of why he freaked when you found out, because he really needs to keep it secret from the school at large.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I''m sorry we scared you, Sei-san. Don''t worry, this stays between us,¡± Lucy grins, giving a surprisingly dependable feel compared to usual.

    Then Amari leans forward, reaching out and taking my hands gently. ¡°Umm, Sei-kun, I''m really sorry for touching you like that before. I got too excited, thinking you were another cosplayer, but that''s no excuse for what I did. I''m sorry.¡± She gives my hands a trembling squeeze, and I sigh softly.

    ¡°Don''t worry, Amari-chan, I know you didn''t mean it. I forgive you.¡± We share a smile shortly, before everyone sits back in their chairs.

    There''s an air of uncertainty for a while, no one really sure what to do or say next. Then, Jen perks up and asks, ¡°Hey, what brought you two all the way out here anyway?¡±

    Immediately blushing, Lucy lowers her head. ¡°It was my sister, she texted me about seeing a cute girl and her friends and I recognized you guys by your descriptions. We kinda got curious and came to check it out...¡±

    ¡°By ''we,'' you mean you...¡± Amari quips, while Jen facepalms and groans.

    ¡°Please, Lucy-chan, ask your sister to just not mention Sei to anyone, alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I can do that.¡±

    ¡°Cool, thanks.¡±

    Once again, we all sit back. It''s still early morning, but I''m already so tired...

 Chapter 9

    Following Saturday''s difficulties, Sunday turns into everyone coming over to our room to hang out, since everyone else splits their room with a roommate. Also, we have the projector TV. To our surprise, even Runa, Finn, and a couple guys from our dorm floor that Ken met last weekend come.

    With all nine of us piled up on the beds, desk chairs, and even the floor, we lounge around, watch movies, and chat for most of the day, until a building monitor shows up, quoting rumors of possible inappropriate behavior between men and women in our room.

    To that, we all just look around at each other and shrug. With an exasperated sigh, he leaves us alone and we return to our movie. It''s a surprisingly nice time. Not needing to worry constantly, and just getting to relax with friends.

    There is a point when Lucy, Amari, Ken, and Jen all break off to go talk, and I can''t help but worry that it''s something about me, after what happened yesterday. No, why would they talk about me in secret? I don''t know, but I do my best not to dwell on it, and just enjoy the break.

    When Monday morning arrives, so does Leona Vicca. The moment she steps in the door, a hush falls over the room, and everyone moves to give her a wide berth. When she sits down and begins unloading her bag, conversations pick up again, but more subdued than before.

    I turn to look over at everyone, and they all give me thumbs up. With shaking, nervous energy, I approach her. She''s only one desk up from me, diagonally. ¡°U-umm?¡± I try to get her attention, and the entire class goes silent again.

    ¡°Whatever it is, I''m not interested,¡± she sighs without even a glance in my direction.

    ¡°I-I''m sorry, it''s pretty important.¡±

    That gets her to glance my way, but she just sneers and parrots, ¡°Important?¡± like she can''t believe anything I saw would be important. She sticks her hands up mockingly. ¡°Ooh, miss big bad psion saves you from a school bully, it''s so important to thank her...¡± Is she... mocking me, or herself...?

    I shake my head. ¡°Uhh, well, yes, thank you for that. But there''s something completely unrelated I need to talk to you about.¡±

    Now I actually have her attention. ¡°Completely unrelated? Then why are you coming to me? I''m a scary ass tier seven psion, you know.¡± Again, her tone sounds weirdly self-deprecating, but-

    T-tier SEVEN?! I gulp anxiously, whole body going stiff. No, now isn''t the time to piss myself in terror!

    Clenching my chattering teeth, I force out the words, ¡°B-because I n-need t-t-to talk t-to you.¡±

    Vicca whistles appreciatively. ¡°Guess those rumors about balls of steel are true.¡± Hearing those words from the murderous psion monster, of all people, and in front of my entire class, it feels like my whole face catches fire in an instant. I think I stop breathing entirely.

    ¡°Haha,¡± Vicca chuckles, ¡°cute response.¡± Leaning her tall, deadly frame onto the back of her chair, ¡°Soo, what do you want to talk about?¡± she practically purrs.

    I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from crying. ¡°S-somewhere else?¡±

    ¡°Ooh, how demanding...¡±

    I can''t go much further, my whole body is locking up...

    Then without warning, an arm slides around my waist and picks me right up off the ground. With a surprised squeak, my eyes fly open to see that Vicca just scooped me up under one arm. There are surprised sounds from much of the room, and I flail my arms and legs, but she doesn''t even notice.

    ¡°S-Sei!¡± Ken and Jen call, but they can''t take a single step toward her.

    Ignoring all of this, Vicca walks right out of the room with me hanging from one arm. She stops in the hall outside the door and asks, ¡°Here?¡± There are still tons of people from both C and D staring at us through the open doors. In my mortified state, all I can do is shake my head silently.

    ¡°So picky...¡± she complains under her breath. With a sigh, she marches into class D, ignoring all the looks from everyone gathered. She uses her free hand to swipe the window open.

    Wait, she isn''t-

    She jumps out the window. This is the fourth floor! Apparently, that doesn''t matter. Just before we crash into the ground, a flare of deep maroon rolls out, and we just... stop falling.

    After a moment, gravity suddenly reasserts itself, and she touches down lightly in the grass. With a flick of her wrist, I spin back up to my feet, landing and staggering a few steps before I find my balance.

    ¡°Better?¡± she asks, but now everyone from class D is staring down at us from the windows. Where can I just talk to her alone? Preferably without her murdering me?! Easily following my gaze to the people still watching, she chuckles, ¡°So that''s how it is.¡±

    Her eyes flare, brilliant, mesmerizingly terrible indigo spilling over. She raises one foot, still dyeing reality in her colors. Then it comes down, and I flinch as the world moves for her. All at once, we''re skimming across the ground horizontally, the school building rapidly receding into the distance.

    I brace myself and pull in my legs, eyes flashing up to Vicca, expression unchanging, like she''s utterly unconcerned by this. The instant my feet touch the grass again, I''m sent into a crashing tumble. The best I can do is curl into a ball, trying to protect myself as I roll, and roll, and roll, and roll, and roll.....

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    ¡°Ugh... kughh...¡± I cough and groan when I eventually come to a stop near the edge of campus. I hurt everywhere...

    When I hear Vicca''s voice, I flinch on reflex, drawing my arms in to protect myself. But what I hear comes as a complete surprise.

    ¡°Shit. I-I''m sorry, that was not supposed to happen.¡± All trace of that cocky, joking woman from earlier are gone. She actually sounds really shaken up. ¡°Come on, we have to get you to the infirmary.¡±

    She picks me up again, but it''s gentle this time, her arms coiling under my back to draw me up into a careful princess carry. I don''t even care. With another groan, I wiggle my arms and legs to confirm that they aren''t broken. It hurts when I breathe though, I didn''t crack a rib, did I?

    Running on her own feet this time, Vicca flies across the school grounds, back toward the building. I raise a hand weakly. ¡°Please, no doctor...¡± I mumble. As bad as I hurt, it doesn''t feel life threatening. Getting disowned is.

    She raises a brow, but says, ¡°Fine.¡±

    Before I know it, we''re back at the school, and soon after, the infirmary. There''s a clatter of a chair and the startled voice of a woman, before Vicca calls out, her voice dripping with command once more.

    ¡°Out, I will be dealing with this myself.¡± As expected, the doctor runs for the hills. Then she sets me down in a bed and starts searching the room for medical supplies.

    She moves through the room like a raging storm, in and out of a dozen different cabinets, then she''s back at my bedside with arms full of bandages and ointment.

    Then she grabs my torn up jacket and pulls it off, followed an instant later by my vest.

    ¡°W-wait!¡± barely gasp out, but the effort sends me into a fit of hacking coughs.

    For her part, Vicca does wait for me to stop coughing, before she responds. ¡°There is no need for modesty, I''m dressing your wounds.¡±

    ¡°That''s...¡± Then I flop back down to show that I''ve given up. She''ll see in a second anyway.

    As soon as my shirt comes off, Vicca sees my bra and pauses.

    ¡°Wait, you''re a girl? Why are you wearing the boy''s uniform?¡± With a groan, I wave for her to keep working. Once she does, I get to explaining. My voice is weak and I have to stop for breathers repeatedly, but I manage to get the basics out as she''s cleaning and wrapping up my innumerable bruises, cuts, and scrapes.

    ¡°I''m sorry, I misjudged you. You were completely right to say you had something important to discuss. And then I injured you this badly before you could even say it.¡± Vicca bows down, a hand over her heart. ¡°You have my deepest apologies.¡±

    I''m not happy with what she did, but for a psion to apologize so sincerely...

    With a low mewl of pain, I manage to sit up a little to look her in the eye. ¡°I''ll forgive you, just please, help me figure out what happened to me and how I can fix it.¡± I''m more than willing to put aside an accident if it''ll get me the only person who might be able to help.

    ¡°Of course.¡± Then she raises her head again. ¡°We''ll likely be working together on this for some time. Please, call me Leona.¡±

    ¡°Alright, Leona-san.¡±

    She shakes her head. ¡°Just Leona is fine.¡± I flush when she says that. Isn''t that a little bit...?

    ¡°S-sure... Le... Leona...¡±

    After another bow of her head, she continues, ¡°Then I will do the same, Seiko.¡±

    I grimace. ¡°Just Sei is fine.¡±

    Unexpectedly, she argues back. ¡°But Seiko is such a beautiful name.¡±

    ¡°That''s why I hate it, I''m supposed to be a man. My name has brought me nothing but trou-¡± As I''m in the middle of speaking, Leona suddenly slides forward, way inside my personal space, to stare me in the eye. Her nose nearly touches mine, my words cutting off in my throat.

    I have no idea how to respond, and just stare in shock, until she draws back again. What was that? She''s so weird!

    With an unnecessarily serious expression, Leona says, ¡°I''ll take your words into consideration... Sei.¡± She says it slowly, like she''s getting a feel for the word on her tongue.

    ¡°Haahh...¡± I feel like she''s going to give me a heart attack if this keeps up. And that''s if she doesn''t kill me by accident first...

    She straightens up. ¡°Now, assuming you would like to keep your current condition secret, I would advise against resting in the infirmary in your present state.¡± I give her a heavy-lidded stare. That''s just a fancy way of saying that I''m basically naked because she destroyed my clothes, and I can''t let anyone see me like this...

    ¡°Fine, what do you suggest?¡±

    She continues in the somewhat formal tone, but doesn''t go all the way back to her previous cold manner from earlier. ¡°The safest location would likely be your dorm room. Are you able to walk, or would you like me to carry you there?¡±

    Carry me?!

    Back to the dorms?!

    I shrug, trying to stay cool. ¡°Let''s see.¡± Sliding over to the edge of the bed, I plant my feet on the floor, grit my teeth against the pain, and push up.

    ¡°Guh!¡± I grunt. Shit, this hurts! Still grinding my teeth together, I take a few shaky breaths. ¡°Yeah, it hurts, but I can walk.¡± I try to grin when I remember. ¡°A man can take this much.¡± That''s what Dad always said. ''If a man can walk, he''s fine.''

    ¡°Hmm, I see,¡± Leona nods at me. Then she walks up and sweeps me off my feet, back into a princess carry.

    ¡°Wh-what?!¡± I gasp, then start coughing again. Ignoring my weak protests between coughs, Leona carries me at her insane speed, all the way across campus, back to the dorm building. Completely ignoring the staff member gawking at us, she heads upstairs as I direct, soon arriving at my room.

    Still cradled in her arms, I reach out to tap the reader with a portion of one of my hands that isn''t wrapped in bandages, getting it to open. Leona walks us inside, glances between the two beds, and then deposits me in mine.

    While I start to stretch out and get as comfortable as I can in my current state, she picks up my fox plushy and admires it with a strange, intense look. ¡°Cute,¡± she suddenly comments out of nowhere, which just makes me blush at how weird it is coming from her. Miss drop dead gorgeous psion military veteran.

    She drops the plushy into my arms, then sends another glance around our room, before looking my way again.

    ¡°Hmm... I''ll let the teachers know you''re resting because you''re hurt. I''ll be back to speak more later,¡± she says, sounding all cool and composed again.

    ¡°Sure, thanks.¡± Wait, why am I thanking her, she''s the one who injured me!

    Turning on her heel, Leona sweeps out of the room. Before she closes the door, she fixes me with a cool look, nods, and says, ¡°See you later, Seiko.¡± It''s only after she''s already gone, that I can squeeze my fox plushy to my chest and grumble at the closed door.

    ¡°Don''t call me that...¡±

 Chapter 10

    After a day of rolling around painfully in bed while I should be in class, the door opens, and an entire group of people spill through the doorway, falling and piling up on the floor. I practically jump out of my skin at the crash, then quickly wrap my blanket around myself.

    ¡°Sei, are you alright?!¡± Completely ignoring their own predicament, a few of them call out to me together.

    ¡°I''m fine, I''m fine,¡± I wave at them, even though just moving hurts. Eventually, they manage to sort themselves out, all crowding around me. Wait, are there more faces here than before...?

    Ignoring that, I give a brief explanation of what happened without getting into the details, since there are a whole bunch of people here not in the know, and even more from the dorm floor gathered around our open door to listen...

    After I''m done with the recap, everyone starts chatting, and I''m sure the rumors are already sweeping through the dorms like wildfire.

    That is, right up until everyone freezes. Oh no... Moments later, Leona walks in through our open door.

    ¡°Good evening, Seiko,¡± she says flatly, ice cold again, while everyone stares at her with huge, terrified eyes. I do my best to remember how she acted once everyone''s eyes weren''t on her, and raise a nervous hand in greeting.

    ¡°Hi, Leona.¡± Calling her like that raises a lot of brows.

    Wading through the crowd like they don''t even exist, Leona says, ¡°About what we spoke of earlier-¡±

    ¡°W-wait! Ack!¡± I frantically wave my hands to stop her before it sends me into a coughing fit. Even so, I look pointedly at all the people around us. Why would she talk about that here?

    Leona scowls at me, her look telling me I''m being stupid, and I cringe away. ¡°As I was saying. About what we spoke of earlier: I''m going to take you somewhere to deal with that now.¡± Oh, duh, of course she wouldn''t actually discuss it in front of everyone.

    ¡°Can you walk?¡± Even though she asks, she has this look in her eye that tells me not to try acting tough like earlier.

    ¡°No, I, uhh, can''t...¡± I mumble, already blushing because I know what that means she''s going to do.

    ¡°Alright, let''s go.¡± With one step forward, she grabs my blanket to pull it away, and I jolt. Her hand stops, and in just a moment, all we use are our eyes to convey that I''m basically naked under the blanket. It''s not like I could get up to change.

    The moment passes, and she leans down low, sweeping me up off the bed in one move, blanket and all.

    ¡°Uhh, guess I''ll be back later?¡± I call out to my friends as she carries me from the room.

    ¡°Wait, hold on!¡± more than a few people yell, and then there''s a big commotion behind us, with a whole crowd toppling back out of our room before my friends break away to catch up with us.

    ¡°U-uhh, I''m sorry, Vicca-san, but where are you taking Sei?¡± Ken asks as he approaches from behind, but he stays a few steps back, clearly not wanting to come too close.

    ¡°I take it you''re Seiko''s friend? I''m taking Seiko to get looked at,¡± she gives a curt reply. I throw a thumbs up over her shoulder to let him know I''m fine with this, and he nods.

    ¡°Alright, please, just be careful with him. I haven''t seen him this hurt in a really long time, you know?¡± I catch the way Leona winces, but she shows no sign of it when she turns partway back to look at him.

    ¡°I apologize, I forget sometimes how fragile non-psions are. I will be extra careful with Seiko from now on.¡±

    ¡°That''s all I can ask, I guess.¡± He has to shrug, unable to make demands of a psion.

    With that, my friends fall back, letting Leona continue to carry me off. Despite the late hour, she hikes us back across campus, to the transport terminal. ¡°Where are we going?¡± I ask uncertainly as she fiddles with her mobile to set our destination. She''s holding me in her lap with her free hand, sitting on a bench to wait for the shuttle to arrive. This position is really awkward and embarrassing, but at least there''s no one else around to see...

    ¡°Local psion headquarters, we should be able to check out your body and see if we can find any clue whether it was a psion power that caused this, and possibly, what sort of power it was.¡±

    I nod slowly. That sounds good, it''s about as much as I hoped for when I went to her for help.

    As always, it''s a short wait before a shuttle comes. She carries me up on, and I jolt when I see how packed it is. Of course, all the eyes of the other passengers gravitate toward us in an instant.

    It''s not every day you see a supermodel beauty walk on holding... God, I must look like a disaster with my thrown about hair, bandages on my face, and everything else wrapped in a fuzzy blanket...

    <hr>

    The trip takes a long while. It looks like we''re heading all the way to Meridan Center City, two hours out from the school. Leona ends up cradling me in her arms, and I feel strangely safe, despite her almost accidentally killing me earlier. I wonder why...?

    It''s pretty late at night already, and I actually end up drifting off against her chest. Leona has to shake me lightly before I rouse. She murmurs that we''re here, and carries me off the shuttle.

    ¡°The office is a bit of a walk, just hang in there for a little longer,¡± she says absentmindedly, trotting at a quick pace.

    I''m still heavily fatigued, probably from all my injuries, but I look up and around anyway. I''ve never actually been to Meridan Center City before. The tech level is a dozen steps beyond the outlying area where most of us actually live.

    The buildings are all enormous, towering structures of super alloys, plastic composites, and nonsensical honeycomb substructures pioneered by some foreign scientist who keeps building towers into space...

    Staring up at them from ground level, the scale and engineering is unbelievable. They all crawl by as we move about in their shadows, the steady neon glow of their bases providing plenty of light to make up for the lack of sun during the day. Even in the middle of the night, visibility is perfect.

    Despite the hour, the city is pretty active, with shuttles running every which way on elevated roads tucked between levels of interlocked skyscrapers. We travel on the ground though. Down here, it''s all smooth stone, flat concrete in and around the buildings spanning the sky overhead.

    Even with the buzz of activity above, the ground is deserted, everyone opting for other methods of transit. Why are we walking anyway? When I ask, Leona sighs.

    ¡°Because the nearest shuttle transit terminal is an annoying distance from our office. It''s a big dead zone, something about city zoning regulations,¡± and she rolls her eyes. ¡°Normally I''d just run, but I promised to be gentle.¡±

    Cheeks heating, I glance away. ¡°...Thanks.¡±

    We make it quite a ways further, before a non-autonomous ground car rolls up on our left with bright flashing lights. I squint into them as a pair of massive men in heavily armored uniforms pull themselves from inside.

    ...Police...?

    Leona stops in place, looking them up and down, and I can feel her tensing up.

    ¡°We received reports of a suspicious person traveling through here,¡± one of the cops calls, standing like a dozen paces away from us, remaining in the car''s open door. ¡°What are you doing out here at this time of night?¡±

    ¡°On our way to psi-ops,¡± Leona answers evenly.

    ¡°Identification?¡± Leona responds to his request by tossing her mobile over to him. He scans it, and visibly flinches, before passing it back.

    ¡°Leona Vicca?¡± He clears his throat and immediately sounds more polite. ¡°Understood, ma''am. However...¡± he hesitates, before asking, ¡°who is that you''re carrying? She looks injured.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, sorry, I forgot my mobile,¡± I speak up dumbly. It''s not like I had the time to bring anything with me, even clothes...

    ¡°Seiko Maka, Meridan County High School, first year, class C. A classmate of mine,¡± Leona reports succinctly. ¡°Seiko is related to my psi-ops business tonight. I''m not permitted to say any more.¡±

    ¡°Of course, ma''am, thank you for your time.¡± The cop cuts it off right there. They retreat back into their car and drive off.

    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

    Once they''re gone, Leona sighs, and the tension goes out of her arms. A weight leaves my chest, and it''s easier to breathe all of a sudden.

    ¡°What was that about?¡± I ask as she starts on her way again.

    ¡°Policing here is really strict and all the cops are way too trigger happy. Something about city politics, I don''t really want to think about it.¡±

    ¡°O-oh...¡±

    ¡°I''m going to speed up, hold on.¡± I do as instructed, holding tight to her chest despite the screaming protests of my muscles, and Leona rapidly increases her pace, racing toward our destination far faster than before.

    I guess this is how she normally avoids the police, by getting around faster than they can respond...

    Before I know it, make it to the base of one building, indistinguishable from all the rest except by the oversized letters etched into the wall beside the door.

    ''Psionic Operations ¨C Meridan Division.''

    The large doors automatically slide open, parting at our approach, and stone turning to sharp, echoing tile as we cross the threshold. There''s a smooth marbled welcome desk, with a woman sitting behind. ¡°Back already, Vicca-san?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I''ll be heading to Mejja''s level.¡±

    ¡°Of course, I''ll call the lift now.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Their clipped conversation ends without any further comment, and the brunette woman hardly even glances at me. She just returns to whatever she''s working on behind her desk.

    Leona''s footsteps click evenly across the floor as she approaches a flat white slab of wall. She stops for a few moments, before I pick up the faint rumbling as it approaches.

    Then the doors open, sliding aside to allow us to enter. But... why is the lift big enough to fit like, an entire shuttle?

    Once we are situated in the center of the weirdly massive lift, the doors close again, and I feel the slight shake as we start to descend. We''re going down from ground level, not up?

    Soon enough, we stop with a small jolt, and the doors open.

    ¡°Ahh, Vicca, you''re here,¡± a man''s voice comes from further inside.

    ¡°Hey, Mejja,¡± she calls back, suddenly sounding a lot less... cool and business-like than usual. Why does she act so stern most of the time?

    ¡°Come in, come in,¡± the man calls, as he moves past, between the long tables scattered about the room that immediately reminds me of some sort of chemistry lab. It has the dark tile floor, and the same high, standing-height tables. And all sorts of unfamiliar, scientific-looking tools strewn about every surface.

    Even the man that appears as we enter the lab immediately gives off a distinct mad scientist vibe. He has the classic white lab coat, and his spiky green hair is unruly, like he hasn''t bothered dealing with it lately.

    He steps up with a quick gait. ¡°Aalin Mejja.¡±

    ¡°Seiko Maka,¡± I return the quick greeting.

    ¡°Good to meet you, Vicca mentioned bringing someone...¡± he starts, eyeing me, before Leona comes in to fill him in further.

    ¡°Seiko is the one related to the recent psi tremor. Could you run some scans? We''re looking for latent psi traces, energy anomalies, anything really.¡±

    ¡°You got it. Come on.¡± He waves us forward, face showing both surprise and elation at the news before he turns away. We trot through the lab, soon arriving at a very odd looking box near the back, with all sorts of thick wires and unknown tubes connected, shooting up to the low ceiling and down into the floor below.

    Mejja unlatches and opens a metal sliding door on one end of the large box, and looking inside, I realize that it''s kind of like a coffin...

    It must be how they''re going to check me, I guess. Despite my reservations being shoved into a strange coffin box, I go without protest. Leona slides me in, pulling away the blanket as she does, and they latch the door closed afterward.

    You know what? This isn''t that bad. It''s clearly made for people like double my size, so it''s not even that claustrophobic in here. It''s actually kind of roomy.

    Suddenly, Leona''s voice pipes in through a speaker somewhere. ¡°Alright, Seiko, please hold very still. And please be patient, this could take a while.¡±

    Doing as she says, I... don''t do anything. I just lie still and wait as a noticeable electric buzz fills the box around me. The lights inside come to life, glowing purple like a sort of black light. I don''t notice it at first, but the air starts to get heavier too, like it''s pressing in. It makes even this roomy box feel pretty tight and enclosing.

    Still, it''s not like I really care about that. I''m more focused on my stomach. I haven''t had anything to eat since this morning, so it''s actually starting to rumble at me pretty badly. I''d completely forgotten about it until now...

    At least I don''t have to pee.

    Despite there being nothing to do or focus on, the heavy pressure and slight chill in the air keep me pretty alert. It doesn''t help that I''m still dressed in nothing but bandages, not the best for staying warm.

    The time really starts to stretch on. Leona wasn''t kidding. Even with time going slow when you''re bored, I can tell that I''ve been in here a long time.

    But, it can''t go on forever.

    ...Right?

    <hr>

    At long last, the pressure relents and the buzzing quiets. The light fades out. Good thing too, even closed up like that, I was starting to lose the fight with sleep, and I''m positively ravenous.

    Soon after, they open up the door and Leona pulls me back out.

    ¡°Good job, Seiko,¡± Leona praises me while wrapping my blanket back around me. Then she turns to Mejja, who''s leaning down onto a counter and staring blankly at a screen, one hand scratching absently at his short and scruffy green beard.

    After just a minute, he clearly gives up one whatever he''s thinking about, and throws his hands up. Then he turns to us. ¡°Maka-san, I''d like to request you stay here for further observation.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± He blinks, clearly surprised by my quick decision. But really, what am I supposed to say to the only people who might be able to figure out what happened to my body, ''no?''

    He clears his throat. ¡°Alright, I have data to analyze and you''re clearly tired. There are some cots in the back for sleeping-¡±

    ¡°U-uhh?¡± I make a sound and raise my hand to interrupt.

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, could I, uhh, get some food? I haven''t eaten in forever so I''m really starving.¡± Especially after an extra like, day or two in that box. ¡°And... maybe some clothes?¡±

    That draws a grimace from Leona and a laugh from Mejja, What''s with those different reactions?

    ¡°Sorry, Seiko, I didn''t think about food at all on the way over,¡± she apologizes. Oh, that''s why.

    ¡°No, it''s fine, I was the idiot who didn''t feed myself.¡±

    Leona quirks a brow. ¡°You can''t even walk.¡±

    That silences my protests momentarily, but then I cross my arms and look away. ¡°Hmph! I can, it just hurts a lot.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± Mejja cuts in. ¡°I''ve got a lot of work to do, you two. Get, get.¡± And he waves his hands to shoo us from his lab.

    I rebelliously try to walk a couple steps, and it actually hurts a bit less than I expected, before Leona sweeps me up again anyway.

    ¡°...Stubborn...¡± she grumbles. Why is she pouting?!

    We head to a different level of their headquarters, arriving at a supply area, where Leona drops my blanket and throws me into an oversized white shirt so big it reaches my knees, and a white lab coat that practically falls off me. Then we shoot up to ground level again.

    ¡°Getting food, we''ll be right back,¡± Leona calls to the woman at the desk. While she continues to carry me through the neon streets, one thing quickly becomes apparent. I don''t have any underwear on! And it''s not like a big shirt does much to cover me up down there when she''s holding me like this...

    The best I can do is keep my legs together for now.

    Thankfully, we walk into a place within a couple minutes, some burger place tucked into the fourteenth floor of a nearby building. The scent of meat and grease that washes over me has me drooling in an instant. God, I''m so hungry...

    After setting me down in the booth, Leona taps out both of our orders on her mobile, since I don''t have mine. I wait impatiently, stomach growling louder and louder the longer we stay here like this.

    After the agonizing wait of a few minutes, a waitress appears with our meal. As she reaches our table, she jolts a little, blinking down at me. What a sight I must be... Dirty and bandaged, in these hugely oversized clothes. Sitting across from Leona Vicca.

    Then my stomach releases yet another painfully loud growl, shocking the waitress back into motion. She''s hardly even stepped back from the table when I dig in, absolutely chowing down on the burger with one ravenous bite after another.

    The delicious meat and cheese, the bread. Oh god, this is incredible... I make it halfway through the burger before I stop to breathe and take a drink of my soda, cutting short when the surface of the glass feels wrong under my fingers. Too slippery.

    That''s when I realize I have burger grease all over my hands. And face. And arms. And shirt.

    ¡°Seiko...¡± Leona offers me a handful of napkins with an awkward expression, and that''s when I notice the waitress hasn''t even moved, and is staring at me in shock.

    ¡°I think I... was a little too hungry...¡± I mumble, whole face flushed as I start working to wipe myself down with napkins. This might be a lost cause...

    Thinking as much, I look meekly up at the waitress and ask, ¡°Umm, do you have a toilet?¡±

    Nodding numbly, she points me over and I scurry inside as fast as possible.

    I have to wash my whole face and hands up to my forearms with soap and hot water to get all the grease off. It goes all the way down my chin and neck and chest too...

    Returning to the front of the restaurant, I slide back into my seat. ¡°S-sorry about that...¡±

    ¡°No, I''m sorry I didn''t get you food earlier,¡± Leona apologizes right back. From there, I finish off the rest of my food without smearing it all over myself like a wild animal, and finally sit back, somewhat painfully overstuffed, but absolutely content anyway.

    It''s weird, even though my body didn''t really change much, I still can''t eat quite as much as I used to. Whatever, don''t care. It''s happy sleepy time.

    Leona scoops me up from my seat, shifting me to one arm this time so I can rest my head on her shoulder. She gives a sincere thanks to the worried waitress, then carries me back out. We don''t even make it back to her office before I''m out cold.

 Chapter 11

    After arriving back at psi-ops, I spend all my time not eating or sleeping, in the box. They put me in the weird scanner repeatedly, for indeterminately long periods that really starts messing with my head. I try to clear my mind and relax, but no matter how much patience I have or how determined I am to get them the test results they''re looking for, I can only withstand so many weeks shut in like this.

    ¡°Ok, that''s it. Guys?¡± I eventually call out.

    Once they open up the door, Leona asks, ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry, I can''t. I have to move or I think my brain is going to start leaking out or something...¡±

    Behind her, Mejja whistles appreciatively for some reason, causing Leona to turn back and glare at him before she pulls me out of the box and sets me down in a nearby chair.

    I can feel my bruising is healed and I can walk again without trouble, but Leona still insists on carrying me anyway. ¡°So, Seiko needs a break. What do you want to do?¡± she turns and asks, while Mejja retreats back to his computer.

    ¡°I... sorry, I have no idea. Just something. Anything.¡± I feel like any longer with complete lack of stimulation, and I''ll turn into a vegetable.

    ¡°Alright, then let''s... uhh...¡± Leona stops and frowns. What''s wrong? ¡°Hey, Mejja, what do you do for fun?¡±

    Looking over from his computer, he deadpans, ¡°This.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡±

    ¡°Umm, Leona? What do you do for fun?¡± I ask her, even though I think I can guess the answer.

    She sighs. Of course it''s, ¡°Nothing. I don''t really get to do fun.¡±

    Thought so... Shit... ¡°Alright, then how about a movie?¡± I suggest. That''s always the low-effort go-to that satisfies everyone.

    ¡°Sure.¡± Then she pauses, with a slowly growing look of uncertainty.

    She doesn''t know how to do that, does she? ¡°We can go to a theater,¡± I quickly speak up to help her out. ¡°I don''t know the area, but there must be some around here. You can look them up in maps.¡± What did she even do in the military when she wasn''t fighting? And what about before that?

    ¡°Ah, got it.¡± She does so, and soon enough, we''re heading out again.

    When we pass the usual woman in the lobby, Leona says, ¡°We''re going to a movie, we''ll be right back.¡±

    ¡°A movie...?¡± The woman looks confused.

    We''ll ''be right back?'' I question similarly.

    Leona carries me through the city, eternally lit in neon dusk colors without the sun reaching down below. I don''t even know what time or day it is anymore...

    When we arrive at the entrance to the theater, tucked into one of the endless skyscrapers, I try to wiggle out of her arms. ¡°Put me down, people are going to stare.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? They always stare.¡± From her look alone, it''s dead obvious she has no idea what I''m talking about. With looks like hers, everyone around her must stare, all the time, I realize. Carrying me or not, it doesn''t matter what she does, the response will always be the same...

    I settle back down in her arms, and we go inside. Everyone stares at us. It''s... actually kind of sad...

    The employees show mixes of confusion and concern at my appearance, still wrapped up despite my injuries already being healed, and one even asks if I''m alright when we''re getting popcorn.

    I casually wave the guy off. I''ve spent so long in that box, I haven''t gotten to remove my bandages.

    We end up watching some cheesy romance movie for some reason, and by the time we come out...

    ¡°I don''t get it, didn''t she learn anything?¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± I laugh and shake my head.

    ¡°I don''t understand romance,¡± Leona sighs, ¡°why would you choose the same type of person as the one who ruined your life before? Why would you expect anything different?¡±

    ¡°And didn''t they leave the nice guy homeless in the end? What''s with that? Why does only the military jerk get a happy ending?¡± I complain too.

    ¡°Seiko, is this what movies are like?¡± Leona asks, clearly worried.

    ¡°No! God, no! That one was terrible!¡±

    ¡°It is... unexpectedly comforting to hear that,¡± she admits. The way she says that makes me laugh, and we head back to her headquarters to continue with the tests.

    At least I''ve gotten my head screwed on straight again, let''s see how much more monotony I can take this time...

    Thankfully, I make it to the end of the very surprisingly not endless scanning process before I lose it again.

    <hr>

    ¡°Fuck! Finally!¡± I moan, sliding my head to rest on my knees in a chair. God, you''d think crazy psion tech would work faster, how much schoolwork am I going to be catching up on? My friends don''t think I''m dead because I never came back, do they?

    Hell, I''m not going to get left back from missing too much school and end up a year behind everyone again, am I?

    While I''m fretting and groaning, the best I can do is tell myself that it''s worth it as long as I can get my body back to how it should be.

    ¡°Seiko Maka-san,¡± Mejja addresses me, as we sit down in a little meeting room off of his lab. ¡°To start, let me summarize. You were born male, then your body turned female due to an unknown cause, but your mind was not altered at all.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± So far, he''s just going over the information I gave him back before the ridiculous tests.

    ¡°You have come to us with hopes to fix your body and return it to its previous, male state.¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah.¡±

    ¡°Good, good.¡± The strange doctor(?) nods and makes a note on his laptop. ¡°Now, I''ve finished collection and initial analysis of the test data from your scans.¡±

    He folds his hands together, pointing out with his thumb and index finger, kind of like making guns with his fingers. He brings them up, pressing index fingers to his chin as he looks over something on his screen thoughtfully.

    Flicking his fingers forward to point at me, he says, ¡°We have good news and bad news. First, the good news.¡±

    He gets straight into it. ¡°Good news is we did find psi traces on you, so we can say for certain that a psionic power was the cause for your change.¡± Alright, that''s a good start.

    ¡°The bad news is, the traces we found weren''t any we could immediately identify. They didn''t show similarities to any of the psions in our registry, or any of our readings from past tremors, so we weren''t able to identify the exact nature of the power that changed you. This means, we can''t easily draw up a counter for it, to undo the changes that way. It will take us a good deal of time to figure things out.¡±

    ¡°Oh...¡± Well, expecting the whole answer to fix this just being stuck to my body would be too optimistic, I guess.

    While I consider what he''s told me, Mejja goes on. ¡°Now, the more-bad news, is that none of that really matters.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, what?¡±

    ¡°Look here.¡± Wait, aren''t you going to explain that last bit?! Barreling right on, he flicks up a big, holographic image over the conference room table. It''s probably a scan, with a faint grayish, three dimensional outline of a person''s body, very slowly rotating. The profile actually looks like Leona, I think, and a moment later, he confirms it.

    ¡°This is a scan of Vicca. The red and blue parts here are her psionic energy pathways. PEP for short.¡± As he describes, there is a ridiculously intricate system of bright red and blue lines, all laced together inside the holographic scan of her body. They swirl and curve and twine around each other, all radiating out from a couple spots in the center of her abdomen. The red a little more to her left side, and the blue a bit to the right.

    I stare at it for a while, following different parts as they move out toward her extremities. It reminds me a lot of a diagram of the circulatory or nervous system like you would see in a textbook, but way more detailed, especially displayed holographically.

    Eventually, Mejja thinks I''ve had enough time, and moves on. ¡°The PEP moves energy through the body. Not physical energy, obviously. Psionic energy. You can think of it as something like spiritual energy, essential for every part of life.¡±

    Mejja pauses for just a moment. ¡°Something something souls, blah blah blah.¡± He waves a hand dismissively. ¡°Jury''s still out on exactly what the nature of the energy is, but it''s definitely metaphysical in nature. The physical body has no impact on it. The body does rely on that energy system for survival though.¡±

    ¡°Mm...¡± Obviously, I won''t get the big picture if even they don''t, but he made his point. Psionic energy and powers come from the spirit, not the body, and keeps psions alive. Not at all surprising with how they just ignore the laws of physics at will.

    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    I nod a few times for him to continue.

    ¡°Good, now here''s a scan of me.¡± With his words, a second hologram appears, pushing the first off to the side. It''s much like the first, with those same intricate tendrils of color.

    ¡°Now, differences?¡±

    It''s not hard. ¡°You only have one color, yellow.¡±

    ¡°Yes, and?¡±

    I pause, glancing between the two. It''s a little hard to tell with the color difference, but... ¡°I think yours is a little more... dim? Like, not quite as many lines going out?¡±

    ¡°Good, good, one more.¡± I frown faintly. The last one isn''t as obvious. I keep looking back and forth for a few seconds, before I see it.

    I point as I speak. ¡°It''s centered in in your chest instead of your abdomen.¡±

    ¡°Perfect. Now, what do they mean?¡± That one''s rhetorical, because he immediately begins to explain. ¡°Color. To put it plainly, we use different types of energy. Our scanner represents them using different colors. They are unique to the individual, just as psionic powers are. Second is intensity ¨C the amount of psionic power. She has far more power, and even has two different energy types she mixes together. Thus, she is a much higher tier psion than I am. Tier seven to be exact, while I''m tier four.¡±

    I nod. Color intensity being power is pretty intuitive. Having two different types because she''s so powerful though... Leona really is incredible...

    Unexpectedly, Mejja makes a strange expression, waving his arms and going, ¡°Why aren''t you surprised?¡±

    ¡°Huh? By what?¡±

    ¡°Any of this?¡± I just blink at him. ¡°I just told you Vicca''s a tier seven psion, most people would be fleeing in terror by now,¡± he sighs. ¡°Do you have survival instincts?¡±

    ¡°O-oh,¡± it''s embarrassing when he puts it that way. ¡°I already knew, she told me about that before. I mean, yeah, I was really scared at the time...¡± I scratch my cheek, trying not to look at Leona as I admit this. ¡°But she''s been helping me a lot ever since then, and she''s nice, so I don''t feel like I should be afraid of her, I guess...¡± I don''t know if I''m really expressing what I mean. Underneath that earlier cold demeanor, it''s pretty easy to tell that she''s a nice person.

    ¡°Fine, I get that, but what about me?¡±

    ¡°What about you?¡±

    ¡°I''m a psion too! Isn''t that a shock?¡±

    ¡°No?¡± When he gives me a look, I shrug. ¡°You work at the psion headquarters. Isn''t like, everyone here a psion?¡±

    The man across the table facepalms so hard it looks painful. ¡°No,¡± he sighs. ¡°No, not at all. In the first place, psions make up barely five percent of the population, and because it''s basically hereditary, pretty much every one of them is centered in the highest class of government and military high command.¡±

    All I can do is bob my head numbly at the sudden lecture. Does he think I''m stupid? Everyone knows this... However, it ends with a big surprise that I don''t know. ¡°Vicca''s here dealing with the psi tremor business. Normally, I am the only psion in our branch.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Woah.¡± I let out a big breath. ¡°Alright, yeah. You surprised me now, happy?¡±

    Mejja just snorts, and gets back on topic without deigning to answer. ¡°Where were we...? Right, the intensity shown by our scanner relates directly to the energy levels inside your PEP. Last, and usually least, we have these.¡± He points out the places where all the energy gathers.

    ¡°These are energy cores, where psionic energy comes from.¡± He tilts his head. ¡°Or where it gathers together. We haven''t figured out which yet. But that''s not important. Usually this isn''t relevant to anything, but hey, there''s a first time for everything,¡± he shrugs and actually looks amused.

    ¡°Energy cores are located differently in men and women. As you can see, in the chest for men, abdomen for women.¡±

    I blink up at the floating diagrams. ¡°Oh, wow. Alright.¡± That''s kind of interesting, having such a difference between the two sexes in psions.

    Wait. ¡°Even though the PEP has nothing to do with the physical body?¡±

    ¡°Precisely,¡± he snaps his fingers at me and actually looks impressed. ¡°You could say it reveals the gender of the soul, more or less.¡±

    ¡°Mm, alright...¡± So psions have gendered souls...? While I consider that, I catch Mejja staring at me, like he''s looking for a response again. But... why?

    Leona elbows him lightly. ¡°I told you you should explain the other part first.¡±

    ¡°Fine, you win there,¡± Mejja shrugs. ¡°Here''s a scan of another staff member.¡± As he said, a third joins the first two. It''s much darker, the muted blue color spreading throughout dull and diffuse by comparison. A much weaker psion, I guess.

    ...

    Wait, didn''t he just say he''s the only psion here? Then who is this scan of? He said a staff member, right?

    ¡°There it is,¡± Mejja says, pointing at my face. ¡°This is the psionic energy pathway of a non-psion. As you can see, the psionic energy is still there.¡±

    Woah...

    ¡°Now, this is it, artificially brightened by increasing the scan time and intensity.¡± With a tap, the image brightens, the blue flaring up until it matches the strong blue shown in Leona''s scan, though the hues are different. It doesn''t just brighten though, it kind of smears around, like an overexposed photograph, blurred from a low shutter speed and motion blur.

    Actually, if their scanner machine works like a big camera for psionic energy, that''s probably exactly what it is.

    ¡°As you can see, it''s blurred from the subject moving throughout the scan, but it can still be usable for some of our research. Anyway.¡± He flips it back to normal, color fading to its original muted blue.

    ¡°Now, what do you see here?¡±

    ¡°Well... light blue energy, obviously, less of it, and, uhh, female.¡± I tick off the three things we''ve been going over.

    ¡°Yes. From the intensity here, this person is a tier three psion,¡± he notes. ¡°That''s why we can read it like this, any lower and we can''t even see it without artificially amplifying the output.¡±

    ¡°Huh...¡± Wait, one part of that doesn''t make sense. ¡°You called them a tier three psion, but just before you said they weren''t a psion. Which is it?¡±

    ¡°Both,¡± he shrugs. ¡°Bad definitions and technicalities, unfortunately. Tiers measure psionic energy, yes? And as you''ve just seen, everyone has psionic energy.¡± With a grin, he intones, ¡°Technically, everyone is a psion.¡±

    ¡°That''s, uhh.... ok....¡± I mumble.

    ¡°Don''t worry about it too much,¡± he somehow waves off my world-shattering realization. ¡°Like I said, it''s a useless technicality. Even if the energy''s there, they can''t use it. So they aren''t really psions.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± I get it, that''s why he can brush it off so easily, it really doesn''t matter.

    ¡°Based strictly off of energy, about ninety-nine percent of the population are tier three and below. Actual psions are some portion of tier threes, then everyone tier four and up. Those are the ones who have enough energy, and can actually control it.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± I return a simple nod. I''ve learned more about psions in the last five minutes than in my whole life up to now, and it''s pretty cool, but my thoughts are quickly returning to my own predicament. Applying what I''ve learned, I start to get a bad feeling...

    ¡°Wait, you''ve told me all this, but... My whole issue is with my body, right? How does all this stuff about psionic energy pathways and energy levels relate to me? Some part of my brain is screaming that he''s leading up to me being psion, but that can''t be it, I can''t do any psionic stuff.

    Then maybe it''s-

    I freeze up. He mentioned the PEP showing the gender of the soul. Don''t tell me, my soul isn''t...!

    ¡°Yes, that''s what you should be asking,¡± Mejja replies to my last question while I''m spinning in panic. ¡°The reason I explained all this, is so you''ll understand when you look at your own scan.¡±

    I gulp, looking up. It''s hard to breathe. I don''t think I''m ready.

    ¡°Ready for the bad news?¡± I don''t even respond, I just keep staring as he flicks the image up into the air above us. It''s... dark.

    ¡°Tier one, here it is artificially brightened. Thanks for holding so still during the scans, the detail is the best I''ve ever seen. Which is important because, well...¡± Then he hits it. The other holograms fade away as my scan expands to fill the room, color brightening dramatically so we can see the details.

    As he said, the lines are nice and crisp, without any motion blur. But that''s not the point.

    ¡°What...?¡±

    What am I even looking at?

    ¡°Exactly my response!¡± Mejja throws his hands up in outright exasperation.

    Within the faint, floating profile of my body, there are strings of color. Reds and blues and purples. Greens, oranges, every color of every hue and shade, mixed and tangled. Knotted and shredded into bits and dots all throughout my body. No tendrils, reaching out from the center, no intertwining system spanning through me.

    It looks like a crappy AI got creative trying to replicate a 4D rainbow.

    ¡°Yes, so.¡± Mejja waves his hands at the ridiculous display. ¡°First and foremost, it is not a mechanical or system error. This scan is definitely correct, I have a dozen others just like it from our observations, and I cross-checked them all to ensure the scanning unit was functioning properly. They all check out, this truly is what your psionic energy pathway looks like right now.¡±

    I''m still staring while he delves into the important parts. ¡°So, first I should point out that damage to your PEP is possible and we have recorded cases of it before.¡±

    He points up. ¡°See all these different colors? They are the traces of the psionic power which changed you. The damage it did your PEP is extreme, as you can see. Fortunately, we have seen pathways self-repair when damaged before, so it is within the realm of possibility that yours will eventually repair itself as well.¡±

    ¡°That''s... good.¡±

    ¡°Yes. It does pose a few problems right now though. First, is the part you were interested in. Obviously, with the damage as it is, you have no energy core. We can''t tell your gender.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡±

    ¡°And secondly... Well, the power completely shredded your PEP. If we ran the same process in reverse, we would damage it even further. That''s why for safety, we can''t do anything until it repairs itself.¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± I get it, but still. Shit. Basically, if and when they figure it out, they still can''t fix my body until I''ve healed.

    ¡°Lastly, this part is... Well, I can''t say it doesn''t concern you, but it''s nothing you have any power over. To put it frankly, I have no idea how you are still alive.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°As I mentioned, your PEP is critical for dispersing energy throughout your body to keep you alive. Yours is clearly in no state to do anything of the sort. As such, you should be very, very dead. I''m sorry, but I have absolutely no idea how you are surviving through this right now. To give an analogy, you are still alive and healthy despite having no blood in your veins.¡±

    Mejja plants his hands on the table in front of him. ¡°It makes no logical sense based on any of our knowledge of psionics, but we can''t refute the evidence in front of us. But as I said, the hows and whys are more of an academic interest, not something you need to concern yourself with.¡±

    It seems that he''s finished saying his piece, because the room goes quiet. I keep staring up at the nonsensical image of my insides.

    Even with all the excess information, I slowly manage to digest things as they''re actually relevant to me.

    To put it plainly, even my spirit, or soul or whatever - it currently doesn''t have a proper gender. Beyond that, they can''t fix my body with what they''ve learned, and even if they could, it would have to wait until I heal. So despite it all, there''s just... nothing to do?

    Mejja confirms it. ¡°For now, you''ll just have to wait. Looks like you''re getting by alright, so all you have to do is keep it up while you heal and we work things out. As such...¡± He stands and circles the table, passing through colored portions of the hologram as he goes. Stopping by my seat, the green haired scientist extends a hand.

    ¡°Seiko Maka-san, I would like for you to join us.¡± When I don''t immediately respond, he goes on. ¡°By that, I mean you would be employed part time. We wouldn''t interfere with your schooling, of course. Your duties would essentially be allowing us to observe and study you, since you present so many unknowns worth investigating.¡±

    ¡°That...¡± Is that good or bad...?

    ¡°There would be very little in terms of requirements and responsibilities, and the pay is exceptional,¡± he notes, lifting a brow. I''m... sure it is... Just that is really tempting, but he keeps adding on more. ¡°Naturally, the position would afford you psionic and military connections, which would give you leverage with your school''s administration, keeping them quiet about your current issues, if it came to that.¡±

    What he''s saying... if I had their backing, I could get the school keep things secret from my parents if word got out and I really needed to. I did mention I''m hiding it so I don''t get disowned... It''s not much of a backup plan, but it''s something. Which is a hell of a lot better than what I have now.

    Even without that, I''m sure the money would go a long way toward financial independence, if I end up needing to support myself after all.

    I''d have a ton of other problems if I lost my parents'' support, but it would push starving to death a little further down the list...

    Extending my hand, I take his. ¡°Sure, that doesn''t sound too bad,¡± I answer, still pretty rattled by all this.

    Then, Leona suddenly comes and chops me painfully on the head. ¡°Ow, ow, ow, what was that for...?¡± I grumble through my teary eyes.

    ¡°Seiko, don''t just go agreeing to important things without getting them in writing,¡± she scolds me. Oh, right. As an adult, I can actually sign contracts and stuff now. A literal job with psi-ops isn''t just some vague verbal agreement made with a handshake...

    ¡°Mejja, get someone to write up the contract so Seiko can read it over before agreeing to things without even knowing all the terms,¡± she practically growls at him.

    ¡°Of course, of course,¡± he waves her off placatingly. ¡°That was the plan all along, I just wanted to know if he was open to the idea or not before going that far.¡±

    ¡°Good, now Seiko, let''s go get you more food while he does that.¡±

 Chapter 12

    The contract Mejja hands me is lengthy. But as Leona said, as a legal adult with the authority to sign myself into binding contracts, it is crucial that I know what I''m getting into. I read the whole thing in detail, end to end, until I understand all the terms, before putting down any ink of my own.

    I don''t know if it''s the norm, but this contract is extremely favorable to me. There are hardly any restrictions, mainly that I can''t divulge any information I''ve been informed is classified, without first receiving the proper clearance. Mejja didn''t say that anything he taught me about psions falls under that, so it must all be fair game.

    Which... alright, when I think about it, it makes perfect sense. He couldn''t give me any classified information before I signed anyway.

    Besides that, my only responsibilities center around keeping myself in fit and healthy condition, which includes a ban on any smoking, alcohol, and hard drugs. A kind of silly requirement since most of those are still off the table until I turn twenty two. Well, plenty of people drink alcohol underage, so I guess it''s an extra protection against stuff like that...

    The last requirement is of course, the actual reason for hiring me. I need to come in once a month for scans and tests, and it even says I''ll have daily checks while I''m at school.

    ¡°How are you going to do this part?¡± I ask and point out the ''at school'' section.

    ¡°You will have someone on campus with you to check on changes to your energy pathways and any other psionic traces each day. It won''t be as thorough or invasive as fully scanning you, but it will provide us with a regular view of your PEP as it repairs itself,¡± Mejja reports.

    ¡°Watching it should both allow us to estimate how long it will take to heal, and see if we can suss out how you have not died from it being in its current condition.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± So, they''re going to send someone to watch me? I''m not sure how I feel about that, but whatever. Again, it''s, something that might help me.

    Besides what they require of me, there are whole sections of what they''re offering. Money. Like Mejja said, a lot of money. Protection and confidentiality at school. Support in fixing my body. Also level fifteen security clearance since it''s technically a military job.

    Everything I read looks good and fits the agreement we made, and I don''t see anything here they could exploit. No loopholes, suspicious wording, or vague clauses that they could twist later on. Just in case, I ask Leona to double check in case I missed anything, and she gives it the ok too.

    End to end, it''s a solid agreement that gives us both what we want. Help for me, and research for them.

    I sign the contract.

    ¡°Very good.¡± Mejja smiles and offers a hand, ¡°Welcome to psi-ops, Seiko Maka-san.¡±

    That concludes our business, so we head back out soon after. We make it to the transport terminal, onto the shuttle, and we''re on our way. When we leave the city and can finally see the sky again, it turns out to be sometime during the day. Early morning, it looks like.

    At least Leona doesn''t sit me in her lap this time. I still wind up drowsing against her side most of the way though, gazing out of the window. Watching the sunrise paint the sky into beautiful shades of tangerine and eventual blues as the road rolls away beneath the quiet hum of the shuttle. I smile a little, sinking closer to her warmth.

    ¡°Seiko, we''re here.¡± Leona shakes me lightly, then pulls me up from the seat while I rub tiredly at my eyes. Did I fall asleep...? She checks her mobile on the way off the shuttle, then turns to me as we stand at the terminal.

    ¡°It''s six thirty, are you up for school?¡±

    I respond slowly. ¡°Mm, yeah. I''m kind of tired, but I think I''m fine.¡± I can''t afford to miss any more class.

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    On our way back toward the dorms, I ask, ¡°So, what day is it anyway? And what am I supposed to tell the teachers about all the time I missed?¡± My heart is starting to sink. I secured help with my body problem, but at what cost...?

    ¡°It''s Thursday,¡± she starts off. ¡°We just have to tell the teachers. Since it''s government-related, any psi-ops absences are excused, so we''ll be fine as long as we don''t fall too far behind on our school work.¡±

    ¡°Huh...¡± Having the absences excused by the school is good, but... ¡°Wait, how are we supposed to catch up on our work though?¡±

    She tilts her head. ¡°Just go to the staff room and ask about what you missed, then read up on it, and do any extra homework assignments you missed.¡±

    ¡°No- right, yeah. I mean, I know that.¡± I shake my head. ¡°What I mean is, how are we supposed to catch up on so much work?¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± Head still tilted in plain confusion, she says, ¡°It''s not that much you know. Just get it done over the weekend.¡± Then she frowns. ¡°Seiko, you aren''t already behind, are you? Do you need help studying?¡±

    I''m so confused. ¡°No, I mean, just, we have like, months of catchup to do. How are we even supposed to start on that...?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    We both stop and stare at each other, right in the middle of the big grassy campus.

    ¡°Seiko, we''ve only been gone a few days, what are you talking about?¡± Leona asks again.

    ¡°A... few days?¡± I sit down on the ground.

    Leona kneels close in front of me. ¡°Seiko, what''s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I...¡± My mouth keeps moving uselessly for a bit, before I can get more words out. ¡°Leona, it felt like we were gone for at least three or four months.¡±

    She stares at me, eyes widening when she realizes how far off I am right now. ¡°Hold on.¡± She stands back up and pulls out her mobile. She turns, taking a few steps away and brings the device up to her ear.

    ¡°Hey. Yeah, we just got back to school.¡± I only hear the one side of the conversation as she starts talking to someone. ¡°Seiko just said something concerning and I need to know, have you heard of any incidents of, uhh, time slippage? Or, I should say, of someone you put in the scanner thinking they experience significantly longer than the actual time that passes?¡±

    If she''s talking about the scanner, would that be Mejja on the line? ¡°Yes. Yes, Seiko said that the last three days have felt like at least three to four months.¡± She pauses, and I can just make out the voice on the mobile getting louder.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, impressive, sure,¡± she grunts, ¡°but everyone''s mental fortitude has limits.¡± She pauses again and frowns as Mejja keeps speaking, then sighs. ¡°Fine, Mejja. I''ll contact you again later. Yeah yeah, I know. I''ll send the data as soon as I get to the first check. Uh huh, bye.¡±

    As soon as she lowers her mobile from her ear, she clicks her tongue in annoyance. ¡°Mejja says he hasn''t seen a reaction like that before, so he can''t give any insight into it, but he will keep it in mind for future scanning sessions.¡± Extending a hand down to me, Leona''s tone suddenly becomes much more gentle. ¡°Come on. I know it''s been a long time for you, but just try to remember that for everyone else, we''ve only been gone a few days, alright?¡±

    I take her hand and nod shakily. She pulls me up from the grass, and we proceed back across campus to the dorms. When it''s starting to appear in the distance, Leona reminds me to pull my lab coat closed since my shirt doesn''t do much to hide my breasts.

    Actually... As we''re reaching the front of the building, I''m getting completely red in the face. I''m supposed to walk through the dorm dressed like this?! All I''ve got on are the oversized lab coat and a white t-shirt that falls all the way to my knees, and bandages wrapped all over. I look like a kid dressed in their parents'' clothes or something!

    Apparently, Leona plans on escorting me all the way back to my room, because she doesn''t break off for the women''s side, and sticks by me right through the front entrance into the guys'' dorm building.

    At this time of morning, pretty much everyone is up and getting ready, so every eye in the building is on the two of us as we walk past. Like Leona told me, she''s beyond used to getting stared at all the time and doesn''t pay one bit of attention to anyone around us.

    I... can''t do that. I keep huddling down, bright red with everyone''s stares boring into me as I close the lab coat tight around me.

    When we reach my room, I tap the panel to open the door, and flinch a little when it opens and a blinding light shoots right into my eyes. Squinting into it, I hear, ¡°Sei!¡± the light clicking out a moment later when Ken shuts off the projector, and rushes out the door. ¡°You''re back! How did it go?¡± I blink away spots, Ken standing over me with his big, welcoming smile.

    I know it''s only been three days. But that isn''t how it feels. I throw my arms around him, his waist being about the highest I can easily reach, and hug him. I know I''m not supposed to cry, but a few tears of joy come anyway, and my shoulders shake.

    He freezes up, before he reaches down to rub my back comfortingly.

    ¡°Seiko came to psi-ops with me,¡± Leona reports, explaining things while I''m indisposed. ¡°We ran some tests to uncover the nature of Seiko''s current issues. For some reason, rather than experiencing it as three days in our testing environment, Seiko, well...¡±

    Leona sighs deeply, her cold, clinical tone slipping a little. ¡°To put it plainly, Seiko experienced the time as three or four months, sitting alone in a box.¡±

    ¡°Shit...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, shit,¡± she agrees.

    Ken bends down to my height. ¡°Sei, are you alright?¡± he asks, staring at me seriously.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m fine. I didn''t actually think it was that bad, since it was for something important. I''m really glad to see you again though.¡±

    ¡°You too, Sei.¡±

    After a few moments'' pause, Leona says, ¡°I''ll see you in class, Seiko.¡±

    ¡°See you,¡± I respond as she turns down the hall.

    Once she''s gone, Ken waves me inside. ¡°Come on, we have to get ready,¡± he says.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I agree easily. ¡°I need a shower.¡± The best I got the last few, days apparently, were some quick splashes under some cold running water. I feel grimy and really need a good wash. We have a little over an hour, so there''s time.

    I grab my stuff and head into the shower. ¡°Oh my god, hot water...¡± I moan, hands running over myself, up into my hair. After just standing under the wonderfully hot water for a bit, I remind myself I have stuff to do, and get to properly washing and showering myself.

    Once I get out, hot and maybe a little light headed, I pat myself dry and rub in the moisturizer Jen gave me. I want to see Jen again... I wrap a towel around myself, wobble out the door into our room, and gaze over at Ken as he''s changing into his uniform.

    Going through my own dresser, I pull out my stuff, along with one of my new bras. What ever happened to the one I was wearing back then...? When Leona almost killed me and destroyed my clothes? I can''t even remember anymore...

    ¡°Uhh, Sei?¡± I look up when Ken calls my name. When I do, he''s looking straight at my chest. That''s kind of embarrassing... Ken clears his throat, clearly stopping himself from looking away, then opens his mouth like he''s trying to say something. ¡°It... looks like you got bigger.¡±

    ¡°Did I...?¡± I grab my boobs and feel them. They aren''t quite as sore and tender as before when I give them a squeeze. Yeah, I think they kind of fill my hands a little more, don''t they...? ¡°Yeah, it looks like they did,¡± I confirm. He looks away, his face a bit red, and I get back to dressing.

    ¡°Oooh...¡± I mumble after slipping into my bra. I forgot how good these feel... I''m thirsty.....

    I slowly begin to realize that my mind is wandering. Going back to the washroom, I splash myself with some cold water and take a long drink from the tap. As I do, it feels like everything suddenly coming back into focus.

    ¡°Oh, wow, ok.¡± I blink rapidly and shake myself as I stare into the mirror. Damn, I was not thinking straight there, was I? Still shaking my head, I return to our room and finish pulling on my school uniform.

    By the time we make it through breakfast and leave the dorm, I''ve finally managed to clear the foggy-headedness from apparent lack of food and water, and getting overheated in the shower. All of which, I only realized afterward, when I was actually able to think clearly again.

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I rub my temples, embarrassed about past-me. ¡°Sorry about that, Ken.¡±

    ¡°No worries, Sei. You went through hell lately.¡± He dismisses it all like it''s nothing, and we share smiles on our walk to the main school building.

    When we reach our class, everyone else is already there, and they pounce on me immediately. I go for Jen though, hugging her tightly. It takes some time before they can get me off of her, and my brief explanation of how it felt like I was away a lot longer than I really was, before we all settle back into chatting like usual.

    I glance up to Leona''s seat a few times, but she doesn''t show up until the very last second, our first period teacher following on her heels.

    With the start of classes, I don''t have a chance to talk to her at all. Then when the teacher calls on me for attendance, he doesn''t make a single comment about me missing the last three days. Weird...

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    As soon as first period ends and we have our break, I call Leona, hoping to introduce her to the rest of my friends, but she just puts up a hand, shakes her head, and looks away again.

    Is she... ignoring me? Why? It''s off-putting, and I don''t really know what to think... But if she doesn''t want to talk, I guess I should leave her alone...

    My confusion and worry over Leona doesn''t put me in the best mood throughout the day, but I try to ignore that and enjoy my time back with my friends.

    For now, they don''t really ask about what happened while I was gone. I guess they''re waiting for me to bring it up. But... I''m not sure, am I supposed to tell them about psi-ops? I want to ask Leona, but she''s not talking to me...

    I''m worried about that throughout the day, until it comes time for gym class. I change in the toilet as usual, and again, I''m thankful for my sports bra. Those bandages got the job done, but this feels so much better.

    When I come out of the toilet, I''m surprised to find more faces than usual waiting. There''s a short guy hanging off of Lucy, which she seems to be unaware of for some reason, and Zeke is off to the side, talking to Ken.

    ¡°Hey,¡± I raise a hand as I approach. They all turn to me, and I catch a weird look from Zeke, just for a moment, before he goes back to not paying attention to me. Does he have a problem with me...? I don''t know what to think as we quickly set off toward the gym.

    We split up into our classes as usual, then head out of the gym for some general track and field stuff. Dashes, long jumps, high jumps... I go through it like normal. I''m kind of distracted with my worries about Leona and Zeke though, so I don''t do that great, and wind up tripping over myself a couple times along the way.

    Once we''re back in class for our last period, it''s clear that a lot of people skip this period already, since it''s just organizational. I do finally get to ask about the new guy, presently sharing Ken''s desk with Jen as she rubs her fingers through my hair. The guy''s slouched against Jen''s back, but she doesn''t even seem to care.

    ¡°Me? Matt Bell.¡± He offers a simple wave when I ask about him. I look around at the others, and they just shrug.

    ¡°Picked him up while you were gone,¡± Ken thankfully deigns to explain. ¡°He''s just... eh?¡± Huh, he does seem to just laze around from the looks of him...

    ¡°Fine, whatever,¡± I sigh, deciding not to put too much thought into it. Shortly after, last period ends. With the end of school bell, Leona approaches me for the first time.

    ¡°Seiko, come with me,¡± she says simply, and my friends immediately fall back, away from her. I frown, glancing back at them.

    ¡°Sure.¡± I follow her out of the room and through the school, until we end up at staff room. Oh, that''s right, I''m supposed to get any work to catch up on. Well, I''ve studied enough that even today''s lessons were no big deal, so I didn''t fall behind or anything, but I still need to pick up any missing homework...

    Following her inside, we begin to flag down the necessary teachers, until I''ve received all the work I need to catch up on. It''s a bit of a pile, but I''ll manage... It all goes in my schoolbag, then we head off down the hall again.

    The next place we stop is the infirmary. ¡°What are we doing here?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Two things. Dealing with your status, and your daily checkup.¡± Oh, right. In my funk, I completely forgot about that. Without further explanation, she leads me through the door. How does this checkup work anyway? Didn''t Mejja say he''d send someone to monitor me?

    My train of thought is interrupted by Leona addressing the doctor in the office, a woman in her early twenties with sky blue hair. ¡°Doctor, this is Seiko Maka. On orders from the Meridan Psionics division, Seiko''s medical records are to be kept confidential.¡±

    Taking a quick step forward, she thrusts an actual paper letter into the hands of the tongue-tied doctor. While the blue haired woman opens it and reads through, Leona continues to speak. ¡°Divulging any of Seiko''s medical information without direct authorization from psi-ops or military high command is punishable with imprisonment or mandatory military service for a period no shorter than two years.¡±

    My mouth falls open. But she isn''t done. ¡°This includes the school''s leadership, Seiko''s family, and any government personnel below clearance level five.¡± The doctor''s face goes completely pale. ¡°You are cleared to discuss Seiko''s medical information with Seiko, myself, Aalin Mejja from psi-ops, or any persons with level five clearance and above. Do you understand?¡±

    There''s a pause, then-

    ¡°Ahem,¡± the doctor clears her throat, looking up from the letter and straightening up, recovering remarkably quickly. ¡°Understood.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now, we will be using your office to conduct Seiko''s daily checkups from now on.¡±

    ¡°Alright...¡± she answers a little more uncertainly this time, before turning swipe at her computer, and I see what must be my records appear on the screen, because there''s an image of me in the corner. She spends some time scanning over the document while Leona pulls something out of her pocket, sticks it to her forehead, and looks around the office.

    ¡°Can''t stand, and need support...¡± she mutters. Her attention turns to a chair, and she leans down, looking at it intensely, then shakes her head.

    The doctor finishes reading through my records, turning to look at me once more, while Leona moves off through the office. She stands and says, ¡°Maka-kun? I suppose we will see more of each other. I''m unsure of...-¡± she glances over to Leona, currently pulling aside some curtains around the rest beds, ¡°-your circumstances, but I will help however I can. Alright? My name is Miha Belinda and I suppose I will be acting as your doctor for a little while.¡± She adds just a touch of humor at the unexpectedly serious situation.

    ¡°Th-thanks, Doctor.¡±

    ¡°Seiko,¡± Leona calls, so we both go over to where she''s standing, next to one of the rest beds near the back corner of the room, shaking out her hands and wrists, and bouncing up and down on her feet, like she''s loosening up to do... something? She takes out her mobile, presses a couple buttons, then sets it on the bed.

    ¡°Yeah, this will work,¡± she says to herself and takes a really deep breath, before her muscles start to tense. ¡°Take off your jacket and vest.¡± I do as she says, but... what''s wrong? She''s staring a hole through the curtain next to the bed, eyes squinted and jaw clenched. Even the air around her feels heavy somehow.

    I quickly take off my clothes as she directs, then she comes over, and my whole body locks up as soon she comes near me. When she looks at me, there''s a faint sparkle of violet playing behind her eyes. ¡°On the bed,¡± she says through her clenched teeth, but I physically can''t move. What is this feeling?

    Her hand comes up to lead me there, but her movements are jerky. She takes my arm and slides me over, and I can feel her grip clenching and unclenching on my wrist, until she winces and jerks. I stumble trip over the edge, sprawling out on the bed because I can''t move right under this crushing weight.

    The glow in her eyes is building, shifting blue, as she clumsily climbs up on top of me, sliding my shirt up to my armpits, then my bra. Her body is starting to shake as she presses one hand on my chest, firmly against my breastbone, between my breasts, and the other on my stomach.

    The air is too heavy to breathe as the shifting, cerulean light begins to spill over from her eyes. Her teeth clench together as she hesitates, like she''s waiting for something, and the air pushes heavier and heavier around us.

    Then she leans down, pressing her forehead to mine, her blazing sapphire eyes staring into mine. Even our noses touch. Then there''s this surge, and my whole body flares hot. Like an overheating reactor. I tremble, trying to gasp, but I can''t move right. Everything is spinning. Her hands against my bare skin are like brands of burning ice.

    The whole time, her eyes bore into mine, overflowing color of power drilling into my soul.

    Then she snaps up with a sharp gasp.

    ¡°Urrghh!¡± she groans in pain, through grinding teeth. Her hands go to her head as she staggers up and off the bed. ¡°I told you I could do it!¡± After a few more ragged gasps, she turns back to me with sweat on he brow and a shaky, triumphant grin.

    As for me, I''m sucking down air in rapid, shallow gasps. My heart hammering through my chest, and my skin is on fire. I want... I... I don''t know. I can''t think right. My legs keep moving and shaking on their own, and it feels so good whenever they rub together. My whole body is tingling like my nerves are on fire. I can''t muster any strength in my arms at all as they splay uselessly on the bed, my top still hanging disheveled around my shoulders.

    Once Leona''s moment of strangely unexpected triumph passes and she looks down at me, she frowns a little. But it''s the doctor who speaks up, drawing my gaze over to her. ¡°What was that...?¡± She''s blushing crimson all the way to her hairline, and her hands come up to her burning cheeks. ¡°A-and, why- aren''t you male?¡±

    Ignoring the doctor, Leona stumbles a step back to the side of the bed and grabs her mobile. She taps at it for a few moments with a huge, angry grin. ¡°I''m tier seven for a reason,¡± she growls through her teeth at the screen, before tossing it down on the bed again. Then she follows, plopping down heavily herself.

    Once she has finally sat and settled herself down, Leona asks, ¡°Seiko, how are you?¡±

    ¡°Uuuu...¡± I mewl. I can''t think and my skin is so hot. My toes are twitching. I want her to touch me more...

    ¡°Mm, just give it some time, the effect should pass in a while.¡± Then she closes her eyes and sighs, the tension going out of her shoulders.

    ¡°V-Vicca-san,¡± the doctor finally speaks up again. ¡°Could you please explain what''s going on? What did you do to Maka-...san and why is sh- he- she- th-uhh-theeim,¡± she fumbles uselessly before shaking herself and pushing on, ¡°l-like that?¡±

    Leona sighs. ¡°I forced a psionic flood.¡± She waves a hand dismissively. ¡°You wouldn''t understand what it is or how it works. I did it to check Seiko''s psionic energy pathways.¡±

    The doctor blinks rapidly. ¡°Maka-san is a psion?!¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Th-then, wha...¡± she trails off uselessly. ¡°I mean, how...¡± A hand comes to her face and she sighs heavily, a big breath in and out. ¡°Fine. Why did it leave Maka-san in that state?¡±

    ¡°Psionic floods can have all sorts of effects. Everything from fainting, to nausea, heightened physical and emotional responses... anything really.¡±

    The doctor turns a concerned eye down at me. ¡°Isn''t that... dangerous?¡±

    ¡°Only if I do it wrong. Or if Seiko faints and falls. That''s why I had Seiko lie down first.¡± As they speak, I''m slowly regaining control of my senses, a small amount of my strength returning. It won''t stop my shallow breaths or tingling skin though. ¡°Normally, you can tell what effect you''ll see based on the energies involved, but Seiko is a special case, so I expect it will be random each time.¡±

    ¡°Ok, but what about, uhh, their body? Maka-san''s record says male, but...¡±

    ¡°Some psionic power caused Seiko''s body to become female, and made it so that we can''t determine Seiko''s gender either.¡±

    ¡°So then...¡± She shakes her head. ¡°Then she''s female right now?¡±

    Leona frowns, her voice serious. ¡°Seiko is Seiko. Presently, there is no other word to express what Seiko is, except Seiko.¡±

    ¡°Huhh...¡± the doctor slowly exhales, absently rubbing her cheek as she thinks about that.

    My fingers are twitching. I barely manage to lift my arms, one reaching toward the back of Leona''s uniform on its own. When I tug weakly at the back, she turns to me again.

    ¡°Reowa...¡± I slur, eyes misty as I stare longingly at her. This heat inside is unbearable. If she would just touch me more...

    She looks confused for a moment, before her eyes pop open wide, and a beautiful, glowing red blush rises in her cheeks. ¡°O-oh,¡± she stammers, jerking up off the bedside. ¡°I-I didn''t realize that was the effect this time...¡±

    The doctor crosses her arms over her chest in a huff and mumbles, ¡°Do you have any idea how suggestive that looked earlier?¡± She shakes her head, but even she is blushing as she looks at me. ¡°At least cover her- uhh, Maka-san''s chest...¡±

    Coming over, she gives my shirt a tug down. It''s still a rumpled mess, but it partially covers me now. ¡°How long until this wears off? It''s rather...¡± and vaguely waves a hand.

    Leona runs a hand through her short hair, ruffling it, before saying, ¡°it really depends how long it takes to work the excess energy out of Seiko''s system.¡±

    ¡°How do you do that?¡± The doctor asks.

    ¡°Wait and let the system purge itself, or force Seiko to expend the energy.¡±

    ¡°Alright, how is energy expended?¡±

    ¡°Well, that would be...¡± Leona gives her some look, and they both blush a little brighter.

    ¡°Alright, waiting then,¡± the older woman decides immediately. ¡°How long should it take?¡±

    ¡°That''s...¡± Leona looks away guiltily. ¡°I used a lot of energy, so... it could be a while.¡± Then she facepalms and groans. ¡°No, Seiko''s energy distribution system is the whole problem. Who knows how long it will take...?¡± Looking back up, Leona sighs. ¡°I''ll take Seiko back to the dorm. We''ll just have to see if Seiko has recovered by tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine.¡± The doctor shrugs, like she''s given up on this. ¡°I guess you two will be back tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Yes, see you tomorrow, Doctor.¡±

    While the older woman moves away, Leona comes over and quickly straightens out my clothes. Just the feeling of her hands against my skin as she works makes me moan out, earning another deep red blush, despite her stoic expression.

    Once she has my shirt straightened, she slides my jacket over my shoulders to cover me, and drops my vest on top, before picking me up.

    Her arms, they feel so good and strong, I''m quivering, even as she rushes across campus. When we arrive at the boy''s dorm, she sweeps through, past the eyes that turn in our direction, too fast for them to get a proper look, shoots upstairs, and down the hall to my room, using my hand to open and close the door.

    Then Leona deposits me in bed, and I realize that Ken is standing right there, in the middle of changing out of his school uniform.

    ¡°Yono-san,¡± she addresses him immediately. ¡°You''re Seiko''s friend, right? This effect will wear off eventually. I''m leaving Seiko in your care.¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah... Sure...¡± he mumbles in response, eyes huge and terrified after her sudden appearance.

    Leona barrels on without a moment of hesitation. ¡°Also, I''m working as Seiko''s monitor, so I''ll be added to your door permissions.¡±

    ¡°Uh? Monitor?¡± Before he can properly ask her what she means, she''s talking again.

    ¡°I''ll be back first thing tomorrow to check on Seiko''s condition.¡±

    ¡°Haahhh...¡± He can''t manage more than that before she tears back out of the room.

    Ken stands for a bit, staring until our door swishes closed on its own. I wiggle on my bed. The sheets are soft and feel good... And the way my breasts press into the mattress... I want to touch them more... After some struggle with my weak, flailing arms, I manage to turn on my side.

    Ken looks over, moving to my bedside. ¡°Sei, what was that about? Are you alright? You look all red.¡± He puts a hand on my forehead. It feels so cool and strong...

    ¡°Shit, you aren''t actually sick now, are you? What did Vicca-san do?¡±

    My eyes are swimming. He''s so close. But at the same time... ¡°N-no, don''t look...¡± I moan. I feel like I''m going to melt, but Ken''s watching. Why does it have to be Ken...?

    My hands weakly cup my breasts, the gentle touch making my breath catch and the heat inside me prickle all across my skin.

    ¡°S-Sei?¡± Ken jerks up and takes a half step back.

    ¡°Feels... good...¡± I pant out. I can''t focus, the room is swimming. But Ken is still staring. ¡°Don''t look...¡± Amidst the desire, there''s a knot. A strangling guilt. I can''t do this. Girls do this.

    But my breasts feel so good. And I''m so, so wet... I''m ashamed...

    ¡°Keeennnn...¡± I drool the word onto my sheets. I have no idea what I''m thinking anymore. My desires are all tied up with shame and insecurity and regret.

    I''m crying. It''s so good and I''m crying. Every time I squeeze, all I see are the disgusted faces of my parents. I''m not like this. I can''t be like this.

    At some point in my sobbing pleasure, Ken makes a frantic phone call, and Jen shows up soon after, panting like she ran. She grabs me and sits me up in bed, her touch making me cry out as she draws me close.

    ¡°Ken, out!¡± she commands like the crack of a whip, sending him fleeing from the room. Then she stares at me. ¡°Sei, talk to me.¡±

    ¡°So... hot....¡± I moan. ¡°More...¡± Jen''s face goes beat red. She drags my shuddering body up off the bed and hauls me, panting from her tight, wonderful touch, into our wash room. She gets us in the shower, then turns on the water.

    It''s cold, like stabs of sensation rushing all across my skin, and my eyes roll back. ¡°Ahh!¡± I cry out, every muscle clenching up as the water hits me everywhere. So good, I''m melting...

    At some point, Jen drags me out of the shower and sits me on the toilet. I flop against the back, chest heaving. The cold shower helped cool the burning desire a little, but I keep staring out at her, eyes full of misty tears, lips twitching.

    ¡°Feeling better now?¡± Jen asks.

    I can function enough to shake my head now.

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Uuuu....¡± I groan. It''s no longer so overpowering that I can''t think, but I''m so painfully hot, now acutely aware of what I want, and what it means.

    God, why do I have to feel like this? I shouldn''t, I''m no supposed to, but the urge is so strong... ¡°Jen... help...¡± I coo, glazed eyes staring. I want it... No I don''t... But I do... But I shouldn''t...

    ¡°Argh... damn it!¡± She scratches her head angrily with both hands. ¡°Alright, I guess we''re doing this!¡± she shouts in the small room, standing up straight and squaring her shoulders.

 Chapter 13 (18+)

    With a big huffing breath, Jen crouches down and starts stripping my clothes off. ¡°I said I''d teach you girl things, so that''s what I''ll do!¡± she proclaims loudly, roughly pulling off my pants.

    Soon, my soaked clothing is piled on the floor, and Jen hauls me back out of the wash room and tosses me onto my bed. While I pant up at the ceiling, my hands already beginning to wander back to my bare, lusting skin, I hear the door open, followed by Jen''s voice.

    ¡°I swear, if you come in here, I will murder you.¡± Then the door swishes closed again, and she''s back at my bedside.

    Jen pulls me up to rest against my pillows, then guides my hands to my woozy, shuddering stomach. Just looking down at myself sends tears down my cheeks. I''m so soft and slim, with my small breasts and pointed, hard nipples. This is what I look like. I''m so cute... But I shouldn''t be cute...

    ¡°Alright, Sei, don''t worry.¡± Positioned right behind me, her head right over my shoulder, Jen strokes a hand through my hair, and it feels so good, my breath catches.

    ¡°Don''t worry, we all get horny sometimes. There''s nothing wrong with touching yourself when you want to. It''s your body.¡± But, but... I start to cry again. Not like this... ¡°Shh shh shh...¡± She whispers in my ear. ¡°Don''t think, just go with your instincts. Listen to your body, let it tell you what it wants, and what feels good to you.¡±

    Can I... do that...? But what about- what about what people would think? ¡°I can''t...¡± cry. ¡°No...¡±

    ¡°What''s wrong? Talk to me, Sei.¡±

    I can barely form the words. ¡°I''m not... I shouldn''t...¡± I feel like a girl... ¡°It''s wrong...¡± I shouldn''t...

    ¡°No, it''s not wrong!¡± she tells me, both quiet and firm. Shifting forward to stare into my eyes. ¡°What you should do is what makes you happy!¡±

    But... but...

    Isn''t she ashamed of me...?

    Silencing my protests, Jen guides my hands. ¡°Does this feel good?¡± she asks softly, rubbing my hand back and forth lightly across my belly.

    ¡°Nn...¡± I mumble.

    ¡°Good,¡± she purrs, ¡°and what about here? Is this better?¡± With her words, she gently shifts my hand up toward my side, stroking in wide circles over my rib cage.

    It still sends tingles over my hot skin, but... With small tears still leaking from my eyes, I mumble another, ¡°Nn,¡± in the negative this time.

    ¡°Yes, good job, Seiko. Listen to your body.¡± With slow, gentle movements, she leads one hand lower, to a spot just below my belly button. ¡°With the fingertips,¡± she murmurs in my ear, grasping the back of my hand, using it to apply gentle pressure that makes my thoughts scatter and my spine tingle.

    ¡°Mmmm....¡± I intone, staring at my fingers as they play over my skin. So... this is what it feels like...

    ¡°Yes, you like that spot,¡± Jen eggs me on, ¡°Let''s give it some more pressure.¡± With her words, she puts more force behind my hand, pushing harder with my fingers.

    ¡°Aah!¡± I moan, sides and back clenching at the sensation.

    Jen clears her throat, her voice getting husky as she goes on. ¡°Y-Yes, yes, that''s a good spot for you. Keep it in mind. Learn your pleasure spots. Get to know your body...¡±

    Then she releases my hands. ¡°Go on, Seiko, explore. Trust yourself. Learn about yourself. What makes you happy...¡± Then, she slowly strokes my hair, and just... let''s me go.

    And I finally stop thinking.

    I let my hands move. I let my fingers trail over my skin. Press into my flesh. Rub and stroke and moan out when I like it. When my body says ''yes.''

    ''Yes, this is good.''

    ''Keep doing this.''

    ''This place is nice.''

    ''That one is bad.''

    ''This spot is sensitive.''

    While I moan and stroke and finally explore my own body, Jen delivers small, encouraging whispers in my ear, with her fingers rubbing and scratching lightly at my scalp.

    ¡°Yes, Seiko, just enjoy being you...¡±

    As I explore, the burning heat in my chest builds and builds, hotter and better until the pleasure overflows, washing though me with small shakes and slow, delightful electric tingles that make me cry out in my high, pitchy, feminine voice, and leave me panting and whining in pleasure.

    Bit by bit, the fire inside cools, the raging desire going out as I allow myself to indulge in this pleasure, like a girl. Until finally, the desire is nearly gone. Just a tiny flicker inside, small enough to go out on its own.

    I''m left sweaty and thirsty, all my muscles limp and tired, yet slightly sore. Especially around my stomach and groin, the places that shook and clenched and worked the most.

    ¡°Finally feeling better, Seiko?¡± Jen asks softly.

    I can think clearly again. The first thing I say... ¡°I can''t believe I just did that.¡±

    ¡°Hush! No bad thoughts right now,¡± she scolds me immediately. ¡°What you just did was good. You deserve to love yourself, don''t let what anyone thinks take that away from you, Seiko.¡±

    But... What I just did... I don''t know... I''m so confused, what am I supposed to believe...?

    For now, I wrap my arms around myself and burrow under my blankets. Jen just helped me so much, I have to believe in her words. Everything felt so good, that has to count for something.... right?

    ¡°Mm, I''ll... try...¡± I mumble.

    ¡°Good. Just keep believing in yourself.¡± Finally withdrawing her hands from my hair, Jen smiles sweetly, before going over to the door.

    ¡°Alright, you can come back in, Ken.¡±

    As soon as he steps through the door, Ken flushes bright red. ¡°Oh god, it reeks in here,¡± he comments, but that just earns him an elbow from Jen. He coughs, then changes topics. ¡°So, Sei, you feeling better?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡± I mumble from under my blankets. Now that I''m calming down, I feel all sticky and sweaty, and the soaking wetness between my legs is getting really uncomfortable. I have to pee...

    ¡°Then, what now?¡± he turns his next question back to Jen.

    ¡°Now, you watch over Seiko. I''m going back to my room to die of embarrassment.¡±

    ¡°Uhh?¡± Without giving any further explanation, Jen excuses herself. After a minute of confused pacing, Ken falls onto his bed with a heavy thump and a sigh. ¡°You sure you''re alright, Sei?¡± he asks. ¡°Do you need anything?¡±

    I need a shower. But... I open and close my mouth a few times. This feeling in my chest... ¡°I need to take a shower...¡±

    Ken nods. ¡°Alright.¡± There''s a pause, him sitting and staring at me. Then he glances around, and raises an eyebrow, like he expects there to be something else.

    But... it''s just... I know I shouldn''t, but what Jen just said...

    I want to hold onto this feeling...

    I gulp, face flushing, and murmur, ¡°Ken... C-could you... turn around...?¡±

    Ken''s eyes shoot open, and he flinches slightly. Just for an instant, before he responds, ¡°Of course!¡± He meets my eyes, dead serious. ¡°Whatever makes you comfortable.¡±

    ¡°...Thanks...¡± Still sitting on the edge of his bed, Ken turns to face the wall, then I anxiously slip up out from under my covers. I grab a change of clothes from my dresser, then head into the wash room.

    As I have lately, I wind up standing under the hot water for some time, just trying to sort out my feelings. I''ve been given so much to think about lately, I hardly even know where to start.

    ¡°Don''t think, just feel...¡± I mumble what Jen told me earlier. Can I really do something like that? When there''s so much wrong with me being like this? No matter how I look at it, I''ve done nothing but get further from where I should be.

    How am I supposed to just... not think about that...? How do I believe in myself when everything I do is wrong? When I keep thinking and feeling these things I shouldn''t?

    ¡°I''m so sorry...¡± I press my head against the wall, the steaming water running over me. ¡°I''m sorry I do everything wrong...¡± Squeezing my eyes shut, I fail again, tears falling with the water. ¡°Can you ever forgive me?¡±

    When I finally get out of the washroom, I''m ready to cry myself to sleep again, but Ken has other plans.

    ¡°Sei, I''m sorry, but I can''t take it. It reeks of sex in here. For the love of god, please change your sheets. Flushing hot and red, I press my hands to my cheeks and stare at the floor. Did he have to put it like that?

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°S-sure...¡± I mumble, but I only make it halfway through stripping my bed before I remember my other sheets are already dirty. I have to do laundry. ¡°Urgh...¡± I groan. I feel terrible and I''m not in the mood, but I don''t really have any other options here, so I pile my stuff into my hamper and drag it out of our room.

    As I trudge through the dorm, I notice all the eyes on me, so many people staring as I go past, whispering to one another at the sight of me.

    What is it this time? For now, I try to keep my head down and ignore them all, like Leona does. When I make it down to the laundry room down on the first floor, I have to take a minute to figure out how to do laundry, with a ton of guys around me all looking at me. I get all my laundry washed and dried, and carry it back my room with me.

    I don''t even make it through my door before I hear the whispered snippets of new rumors spreading like wildfire throughout the entire dorm. What did I do now? Don''t these guys have anything better to talk about than me?

    I''m not in the mood for any more bad news, so I just trudge back to my room for the night.

    <hr>

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I grumble as some noise drags me back to consciousness. I squint my eyes open at my wolf plushy, words slowly trickling into my consciousness.

    ¡°The rumors made it to the entire dorm already!¡± Jen''s voice is groaning. ¡°If you hadn''t dumped Seiko without telling us about the situation, we might have been able to deal with things better. I don''t mean to be rude, Vicca-san, but you put Seiko in a seriously vulnerable position yesterday, then abandoned her.¡±

    ...Her...?

    ¡°I know... I''m sorry...¡± Leona''s voice is solemn.

    ¡°Apologies are nice, but what we need is to talk about this properly, for Seiko''s sake.¡± I''m starting to rouse, groaning a little as I move in bed, my arms and legs starting to wake up. The talking stops abruptly, while I take a few deeper breaths, clearing the sleepy fog from my brain.

    ¡°S-¡± Jen starts to say something, before coming to sit at my bedside, as I sit up slowly. I drowsily meet her eyes. ¡°Hey, Sei. How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Not bad, I guess.¡± She immediately frowns at me.

    ¡°You don''t sound ''not bad.''¡± Jen huffs in annoyance. When she says that, I see Ken moving in from behind her, taking position right past her shoulder. Leona is staying back though, with a complicated expression.

    ¡°I''m sorry, I just...¡± I give a small, useless wave of my arms, not even knowing how to put it.

    ¡°It''s fine, Sei,¡± Ken assures me this time, coming to rub my head gently.

    ¡°We were just talking to Vicca-san,¡± Jen starts to explain, while I stare down at my bed. ¡°Sei, we need to know about whatever she did to you to make you like that yesterday.¡±

    I look up at Leona, questioning with my eyes. She looks uncomfortable, and isn''t saying anything. There''s even a touch of red in her cheeks. What is she thinking about right now...?

    ¡°Leona.¡± I''m not sure what to say. ¡°Umm, about yesterday... Can we tell them?¡±

    She lets out the words like a sigh. ¡°If that''s what you want.¡±

    So we tell them. All about what I learned about psions, exactly what happened to my energy pathways, how I joined psi-ops for continued observation, and about Leona doing daily checkups by doing... whatever she did yesterday.

    That''s where she finally comes in to help, because my memory of her conversation with the doctor while I was... like that, isn''t entirely clear.

    ¡°So this psionic flood thing,¡± Jen summarizes, a hand rubbing her forehead, ¡°it basically sounds like you''re filling Sei with a bunch of excess energy, which causes random effects like what we saw yesterday. Then, we need to wait for the energy to dissipate, or help him burn it off.¡±

    ¡°Yes, that''s the idea. However...¡± With her stoic expression faltering slightly, Leona says, ¡°If you helped Seiko... burn off the energy yesterday, I still can''t say for certain how long it takes Seiko''s system to purge itself.¡±

    ¡°Well!-¡± Jen starts to snap, before clenching her teeth and hissing a breath out through them. She goes on, tone forcibly calm. ¡°If you had let us know beforehand, we could have been better prepared to deal with it.¡±

    Being a ridiculous psion from the military, the chastised look breaking through on Leona''s face seems so out of place, and she lowers her head. ¡°I''m sorry, I didn''t mean to get anyone else involved with Seiko''s psi-ops work, but...¡±

    ¡°But you''re still human,¡± Jen sighs out.

    ¡°Huh?¡± both Leona and Ken look confused by that one.

    Jen shrugs. ¡°Anyone would be uncomfortable, realizing that they need to ''help'' by getting someone off. How do you think I felt?¡± As she crosses her arms standoffishly, everyone grimaces. Even I blush when she puts it that way. I can''t believe I did that yesterday! With Jen guiding me through it!

    ¡°Still, Vicca-san,¡± Jen comes back, looking at the other woman intensely. ¡°Despite the rumors, I did what I did because yesterday was very important to Sei. How well do you know him?¡± What does she even mean by that?

    ¡°Not very well,¡± Leona admits. ¡°I have noticed a few peculiarities in Seiko''s personality, but I don''t have much insight into Seiko''s past to fully understand Seiko yet.¡±

    ...What about my personality?

    ¡°If you''re going to be treating him in the future, then there are some things that you need to know. Can you come with me for a minute?¡± She nods, and the women move into our wash room, closing the door behind them.

    With the room suddenly quiet, Ken settles on the edge of my bed. ¡°Man, things have gotten pretty rough lately, haven''t they?¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡±

    ¡°Hey, Sei?¡±

    ¡°Mm?¡±

    When I look up, Ken is scratching his cheek awkwardly. ¡°Yesterday, when you did that, did you like it?¡±

    ¡°Wh- K-Ken!¡± I stammer.

    He waves his hands, face going red too. ¡°N-no, I''m serious. Was it just the energy thing? Or did you actually like it?¡± He... doesn''t sound like he''s just being a perv, he sounds serious.

    ¡°Th-that...¡± I turn away, face getting even hotter as I consider it. What is there to consider? It was so good. ¡°I... stuff like that... O-of course........ not.¡± I look away, rubbing at my arm anxiously. ¡°I can''t... It''s... It''s wrong...¡±

    Ken sighs out slowly. ¡°Is that so...?¡± he mutters.

    A short time later, Jen and Leona come back out of the wash room. I immediately see the difference. Leona''s uncomfortable expression from earlier has turned dark, concerned and angry now. That stoic exterior that I''m feeling more and more is just a facade is nowhere to be seen.

    What did they talk about?

    ¡°Hey, Sei?¡± Jen starts in first. I perk up a little, and she goes on. ¡°You never told me... Why don''t you like your name?¡±

    I grimace the moment she suddenly asks about that, and that same recurring dream plays behind my eyes. ¡°S-sorry, you don''t have to talk about it if you don''t want,¡± she backtracks.

    ¡°...¡± I open my mouth, but at first I can''t get it out. But these are my best friends, I''ll tell them anything.

    ¡°I was supposed to be named Bruce, but my mom just... changed her mind. At the last second, Seiko just came to her and she chose that instead.¡±

    ¡°Bruce? Ugh...¡± Jen grimaces.

    I''m surprised when Leona adds her opinion. ¡°That''s a terrible name, Seiko fits you so much better.¡± Even her comment makes me frown down at my bedsheets.

    ¡°That''s the problem... My mom always said Seiko isn''t a girl name, but it is. My dad''s always called me Sei instead.¡±

    ¡°Your dad?¡± Jen breathes out, but doesn''t interrupt.

    ¡°So, when I was little, I got bullied for having a girl''s name. My mom was always going on about how it wasn''t like that. That the name had meaning, but Dad said it was just some bad foreign translation.¡±

    ¡°What did she say it meant?¡± Ken asks curiously.

    I think back on it, still fresh in my mind from so many recurring dreams of that same day. ¡°She said it had to do with truth.¡± I grin wryly. ¡°She actually said it was the world telling her that I should be true to myself. Ridiculous, right?¡±

    While I get weird looks from Jen and Ken, Leona suddenly comes forward. ¡°You''re sure?¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Are you sure that''s what she said?¡± Leona asks seriously.

    ¡°W-well, yeah. It''s been part of a recurring dream I''ve had since kindergarten.¡±

    ¡°Hmm, what about?¡± Ken asks, while Leona slowly backs off, with a concerned expression. What is she thinking about?

    As for Ken''s question, I groan. ¡°When I introduced myself on the first day of school, one of the other kids made fun of my name. I started crying and they laughed me out of class. My parents had to take me home. I remember the part about my name because my parents argued about it on the way home.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit, Sei...¡± Ken mutters.

    ¡°Kids are assholes...¡± Jen joins him, and they both pat me consolingly. ¡°You still dream about that? All the time? Damn...¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± I wince when my gut clenches and throat closes. I shove it down. Out of sight. Make myself say it. ¡°That''s... p-probably when I decided I hated my name. I-I started introducing myself as Sei instead.¡±

    They''re all watching me closely. My heart rate''s kicking up. Don''t let it show. I''m fine. We''re all quiet for a bit, and I''m hoping we''re done, before Ken raises an unexpected question.

    ¡°So, what do we do about the rumors?¡±

    ¡°What rumors?¡± Didn''t they mention something about that earlier? What is it this time?

    Jen buries her face in her hands. ¡°Everyone thinks we had sex.¡±

    ¡°W-what?!¡±

    Ken sighs, shaking his head. ¡°What else would they think, after everything you did?¡±

    ¡°Wha- I... What do you mean?¡± I ramble, not understanding.

    ¡°Come on, Sei, do I have to spell it out for you?¡± Ken grumbles. ¡°Everyone saw you two go in our room, while I stood outside, then Jen comes out with her clothes all soaked through, and then you drag a hamper full sheets that reek of sex all the way through the dorm. Even those morons are going to put two and two together.¡±

    He rubs his chin, wondering, ¡°The question is how to discredit a rumor like that. It''s one thing when it can be explained away with what really happened, but when it''s actually true...¡±

    ¡°Huh?!¡± Both Jen and I jolt when he says that.

    ¡°W-w-we!¡± I stammer, but Jen bowls right over me.

    ¡°Having sex and teaching someone how to masturbate are completely different!¡± There''s an instantaneous pause, before Jen''s whole face lights up. She covers her face with her hands, whole body shaking from side to side as she squeals, ¡°I can''t believe I just said that out loud!¡± And flops face first into Ken''s bed, rolling and groaning in embarrassment.

    Ken stands in shock for a few seconds, mouth hanging open, while Leona stares at a spot on the floor, red ear to ear.

    ¡°I-it''s...¡± I mumble. ¡°No, it''s not...¡± My chest tightens up. Those things I did... ¡°It''s not like I liked it!¡± I cry out, fighting the tears down.

    Stomping steps draw all eyes to Jen as she whips back around, stalking toward me from Ken''s side of the room. My words catch in my throat under her angry, hurt gaze. Without hesitation, she jumps on me, pinning my arms to the bed, jaw clenched in rage.

    ¡°You can''t say stuff like that,¡± she hisses, angry tears brimming in her eyes. ¡°Your feelings are important! Never be ashamed of them and deny how you feel!¡± I stare in shock as one tear escapes, landing with a splash against my cheek.

    ¡°I...¡± I''m trembling. ¡°But...¡±

    ¡°But nothing!¡± she snarls, before softening a little. ¡°No one dictates your feelings. No one can tell you that the things you feel are good or bad, right or wrong. That is for you, and only you to decide.¡±

    Both our tears are overflowing. I shouldn''t feel this way! How can this feeling be right?!

    Then the swish of our door sliding open cuts through everything.

    There''s a man standing there, the building monitor, with a half dozen guys looking in from behind him. They stare at Jen, pinning me down in bed, with the others standing around us. We all freeze, as the monitor opens his mouth.

    ¡°You-¡±

    He doesn''t get any further before Leona rounds on him, streaks of brilliant, flaring magenta trailing behind. ¡°Out.¡± Her command leaves no room for question. He falls away, landing on his butt, and the door slides shut.

    ¡°Well... shit,¡± Ken intones. ¡°I think we just made the rumors worse.¡±

 Chapter 14

    When we''re taking our seats, I grab Leona''s sleeve lightly. I can already tell from her expression that she doesn''t intend to join us again today, but...

    ¡°Leona, it feels weird, ignoring each other during school. Join us... please?¡± I ask uncertainly. Her eyes move past me, to my friends, and there''s a flicker of something in them, through her passive mask.

    ¡°Are you sure you want me to?¡± she asks.

    ¡°Yes. Come on.¡± I give another gentle tug, and she rises, following those few steps, to stand before my apprehensive friends. Ken and Jen are one thing, having spoken to her a lot earlier, but Lucy and Amari look frozen stiff.

    ¡°Hey everyone, this is Leona Vicca,¡± I introduce her. ¡°She''s... well, I''ll tell you two more about it later,¡± I address the purple haired girls. ¡°She''s... uhhh... a friend?¡± I look up at her, eyes uncertain and pleading. I''m not overstepping here, am I? With all she''s done, I think of her like a friend. We''re even on a first-name basis. But, does she feel the same...?

    Her lips twitch, forming into an unexpectedly nervous line. What does she have to be nervous about? ¡°If... you''ll have me...¡± she replies slowly. Her eyes moving to the rest of the group, and she says, ¡°Good to... meet you all...¡±

    It''s only seeing this, that I finally wonder...

    Is Leona shy?

    Unbelievably the addition of a psion to our group is overshadowed by the awkward gazes our two purple members turn on me and Jen. It only lasts a few minutes before Jen can''t take it anymore.

    ¡°I know what you''re thinking¡± she growls under her breath, drawing all of us into a tight huddle. ¡°The rumors are bullshit. I did not have sex with Sei yesterday, and this morning was a complete misunderstanding.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that''s a relief,¡± Lucy sighs. ¡°How would you even...¡± After her eyes trail down toward my crotch, they snap back up and she blushes, which just makes the rest of us embarrassed too.

    ¡°Wait, why is that a relief?¡± Ken asks once we all slide back into our seats. Well, I''m still in Gon''s seat since he''s never here, and Leona is in mine, while Jen sits on Ken''s desk like usual, but she''s refraining from playing with my hair today. Probably because of all the stares...

    ¡°Well, things would get kind of awkward, wouldn''t they? My sister said people get weird when they become couples.¡±

    ¡°Hm? Do they?¡± Ken wonders. We all glance around at each other, but none of us know. My eyes wander in Leona''s direction. She''s older than us, but...

    Whether she knows anything or not, she''s still kind of withdrawn, hanging at the edge of the group and not really interacting yet. I don''t really want to push her or make her uncomfortable though, so I leave it. I''m just glad that she''s here with us.

    Despite the rumors, whispers, and increasingly uncomfortable looks, we manage to pass our break times without issue, up until lunch. I only break away from the others for a minute to grab some food in the cafeteria, when an arm closes around my shoulders.

    I flinch and look up, but it''s... Zeke?

    ¡°Hey, long time no see, Sei.¡± I cringe a little when he addresses me so... intimately. We don''t know each other that well, do we? And he''s been avoiding me, hasn''t he?

    ¡°Hey... Zeke-san. What''s up?¡± I try to reply evenly, glancing around to see that there are a couple other guys standing close by. Zeke''s friends? I don''t recognize either of them from middle school.

    ¡°So, the word is that you''ve become the big stud on campus. Jen of all people? How''d you snag her?¡±

    ¡°I-I...¡± my words stick in my throat. That''s why he''s talking to me now?

    ¡°Come on, help a brother out. If there''s a trick that can get you a girl, I''ve got to know.¡±

    ¡°That''s not... I...¡± What do I say? ¡°W-we...¡± After sputtering for a bit, I finally find my voice. ¡°We didn''t do it... It''s just a rumor.¡±

    ¡°Don''t be like that, man. Everyone saw. You must know something.¡± He leans in closer, making my heart drop. ¡°How''d you fuck her?¡±

    My cheeks flush and I shake my head back and forth. ¡°I-I didn''t...¡±

    ¡°Seriously?¡± When he pauses, another guy speaks up and jabs Zeke with an elbow.

    ¡°Hey, weren''t they saying that she had him pinned this morning?¡± At the other man''s words, a huge, scary grin spreads across his face. Was Zeke always like this?

    ¡°Jen was always pretty butch. Don''t tell me... you''re the girl in the relationship?¡±

    ¡°N-no, I...¡± I try to pull away, but he holds tight around me, one hand clamped over my entire narrow shoulder. He pushes, and I stumble a step back into the wall behind me. My heart is racing. What do I do?

    There are a ton of other people all throughout the cafeteria, but they''re either watching, or not paying attention. My friends aren''t here. It''s like back then, I''m all alone.

    And this time, Zeke is one of the bullies.

    I push it down.

    ¡°Come on, Sei, tell me, are you a stud or a bitch?¡±

    I stare at my feet. ¡°Please stop.¡± Don''t cry, don''t cry, don''t cry...

    He presses me harder against the wall, leaning in close.

    When I feel pinned and helpless, it hits again, and I stop breathing. I can''t move.

    I stomp it all down.

    I will make him stop.

    ¡°Yo, can''t you see she''s not into you?¡± a deep voice suddenly cuts through, and I snap up from where I''m hunched under Zeke''s grip, to find a guy towering over both of us. He looks even taller than Ken...

    Once Zeke moves though, he sees my uniform, a flash of confusion playing across his face. But once it passes, he grunts, ¡°Scram,¡± sending Zeke and the two guys with him slinking back off into the cafeteria. Now that I''m looking, isn''t his tie yellow? A third year?

    ¡°Uniform...?¡± the man mouths the word more than speaks it. ¡°No wait, are you Seiko Maka-san?¡± He knows me? I nod hesitantly, pressing further back against the wall. I have no idea what to expect anymore.

    ¡°Dude, everyone''s calling you the legendary first year!¡± I let out a choked breath when he goes that way. He''s not here to bully me too. ¡°It hasn''t even been a month and you already got laid!¡±

    Oh god, why are men like this...?

    ¡°What are you doing, getting picked on by some dipshit like that?¡±

    ¡°I... he...¡± I mumble, but the upperclassman waves it off.

    ¡°Whatever, just got to man up when guys like that step out of line.¡± Just... man up...? ¡°Channel some of that big-dick energy,¡± he laughs and goes to give me a big slap on the chest. I flinch, curling up so he hits my shoulder instead. He doesn''t seem to notice though, he''s already walking away laughing, one hand waving back over his shoulder.

    My chest heaves. Don''t cry, don''t cry...

    I end up running back to the classroom without getting any food.

    The rest of the day continues without incident, but I can''t get those words out of my head. Man up. I have to man up.

    Dad always said I have to man up...

    When I get out of the toilet, changed for gym, I notice that Jen has a sour look on her face, but when I ask about it, she just shakes her head and says it''s fine. I don''t know...

    It turns out gym class is more track and field. With my discontent over this and everything that happened at lunch earlier, I try to stick close to Ken the whole time. I feel like Zeke is eyeing me now. Why is he so, so...?

    <hr>

    I swear, I don''t understand sports.

    Slumping over between runs, I sigh. I always feel so self-conscious when people watch me with anything athletic. Some people get so riled up over it, but then... I don''t know, no one seems to put in much effort? I don''t understand it at all.

    Like ¨C even Leona. When I look over at her doing a hundred meter dash, she just kind of runs along and does it. Even though I know as a ridiculously powerful psion, she could travel that distance in an instant.

    I guess everyone gets self-conscious about sports? Even the huge guys with bulging muscles. They should be so much faster and stronger than everyone else, but the results are always about the same. While I''m grumbling about that, I wind up getting called up, and half-ass my way through my run too.

    I already have enough people staring at me, and enough stupid rumors going around, I don''t want to give everyone even more reasons to make fun of me...

    When we go to the infirmary after last period, everyone comes along. ¡°Is this... really necessary?¡± I ask. ¡°I''m just getting my checkup, you guys don''t have to stick around.¡±

    ¡°Just your checkup?¡± Jen immediately drops in with a scolding tone.

    ¡°W-wait!¡± I shake my head when I realize that not only is our usual group. Bell''s here too, currently slouched against Ken''s side.

    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Eehh?¡± he whines lazily when I point him out. ¡°I can''t be here?¡±

    I bow my head. ¡°Sorry, this is a bit...¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine,¡± he waves it off, yawns, and wanders away.

    ¡°Seriously, what''s with that guy...?¡±

    ¡°Eh, who cares?¡± Jen shrugs. ¡°We asked everyone to come along so we can fill everyone in and get on the same page with all this psion stuff.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± I sigh. ¡°Thanks for taking your time for this, Lucy-chan, Amari-chan.¡±

    ¡°No worries, no worries,¡± Lucy laughs.

    We all head into the infirmary, and the doctor turns, standing up from her chair. ¡°Oh, good afternoon, everyone. What brings all of you here?¡±

    ¡°These are Seiko''s friends, they are all aware of the issues Seiko is going through right now, so we are bringing everyone up to speed.¡± The doctor bobs her head faintly to Leona''s explanation.

    Sitting on the edge of a few rest beds and chairs in the office, we take a few minutes to explain everything again, for Lucy and Amari this time. Once that''s settled, it''s time time for my checkup. But first-

    ¡°So, what was the result yesterday?¡± the doctor asks. ¡°Of course, I''ve already heard the rampant rumors...¡± and her eyes lock directly on Jen.

    At this point, when Jen crosses her arms over her chest, she looks more aggravated than embarrassed. With a clipped tone, she reports, ¡°Yesterday, I helped Sei burn off the extra energy by teaching him to explore and enjoy his own body.¡± Then she locks eyes with everyone except me and the doctor, and says, ¡°I''m sure you understand, it was an extremely important lesson for him to learn.¡±

    I don''t understand, why was it important? All it''s done is get me all mixed up inside... But for some reason, everyone nods solemnly. The doctor glances around, clearly also out of the loop on whatever they''re talking about.

    ¡°Now, moving on,¡± Jen waves a hand. ¡°Let''s do this daily checkup, and see how to deal with the side-effects.¡±

    Leona nods. ¡°Seiko, lie down. Same as last time.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    While I''m taking off my clothes, she warns everyone, ¡°Stand back and stay quiet. Don''t distract me, or it could be dangerous.¡±

    They all retreat as instructed, and I toss my jacket and vest on the end of the bed. Leona pulls out a little plastic tab thing and sticks it to her forehead, then messes with her mobile and sets it on the bed.

    I lie down on the bed with just my undershirt. I don''t exactly want to say it''s for modesty, but... no, she told me to do it the same way as last time, so this is fine.

    Once more, a heavy, oppressive air rolls off of her as she begins to focus. She continues taking deep breaths, while climbing up on top of me.

    ¡°Ok...¡± Leona mutters under her breath, pushing my shirt up. Her jaw is clenching and unclenching like last time. Just what is she doing that''s so hard...? Staring up at her eyes, I can see the way the glow behind them is growing, bit by bit as she works. Like before, the purple is wavering through different shades as the hue shifts back and forth, slowly working its way toward red. Wasn''t it blue last time?

    She slips a hand under my bra, sliding it up so she can press against the center of my chest again, the other coming down just under the base of my ribs. I take deep breaths too, trying to ready myself for the rush again this time.

    I see it, when the flaring glow pooling in her eyes reaches blood red, barely spilling over at the edges, and take a deep breath. Then she comes down, pressing her face to mine, and hits me with another overwhelming rush of light and color, baring down into me. The power washes through me, like electric fire pouring over every nerve ending until my heart is hammering out of my chest and my every muscle fiber is shaking uncontrollably.

    Then it''s over, her body snapping up with a hiss and gasp. She shows a wide, feral grin, for just a moment, but doesn''t even have time to get up, before I''m lurching to my feet, sending her stumbling.

    ¡°S-Sei?!¡± a few voices call in shock.

    I''m on my feet, shaking hands and legs moving rapidly, running in place.

    ¡°Have to- I have to move!¡± It takes every shred of self control not to throw myself out the door.

    ¡°Seiko!¡± Leona calls, grabbing my attention long enough to snap the jacket she''s throwing at me out of the air. I yank my clothes back into place, throw the jacket on, and see her pocket her mobile. ¡°It''s fine, go!¡± She waves a hand. I glance over everyone else, their surprise and concern, then I''m gone.

    I''m out the door in one move. Down the hall in another. Outside, in a field, and I''m running.

    My arms and legs pump. The grass flies past. I hit the edge of campus. There''s a large fence, two stories high, a mesh of plastic and wire. I turn to head along it. I run and run, every instinct in my body screaming and shouting in joy at the movement and power.

    Wind whistles in my ears, my eyes wide and grin spread from ear to ear. I keep circling the school grounds, the buildings and people flying past in the distance. Every step is like a surge of adrenaline and an explosion of powerful euphoria.

    I make a full circuit around the school grounds three or so times before the screaming power in my chest begins to sputter out. My manic running high begins to fizzle, and I aim back in the direction where I came from, my friends coming into sight a short way outside the school building.

    I pull to a stop before their shocked faces and stand, panting a few more wild breaths.

    Then I fall face first into the ground.

    <hr>

    ¡°Haa...¡± I sigh out, eyes fluttering open. What just happened?

    ¡°Sei?¡± I shift my gaze over to follow Ken''s voice, and find him sitting next to me.

    ¡°Hey.¡± I start to sit up, but hands immediately move to restrain me.

    ¡°Stay still for now,¡± Leona''s voice instructs. ¡°You just put your body under enormous strain, we''re still checking for injuries.¡±

    She says that, but I can already tell by the feel of my own body that I''m fine. ¡°Alright,¡± I agree and lie still anyway. ¡°So what was that? Too much desire to run or something?¡±

    ¡°Possibly. It looks like the excess energy also massively strengthened your body for the duration, so you were able to move much faster than should usually be possible. That''s why we''re worried about injuries, from your over-stressing your body when the power ran out.¡±

    ¡°Haahh...¡± Lying there, I briefly think back on my run. Just letting loose like that, without a care for what anyone watching thought, it felt so good...

    Oh god, but what are people going to say? Running that much, how many students saw me? What sort of rumors is it going to cause? As I''m just starting to spiral into worry, Ken speaks up.

    ¡°Heh, I knew Sei was a good runner, but that was next level,¡± he jokes, and everyone laughs lightly. I smile at the ceiling for a little longer, before I want to ask something.

    ¡°Hey, do sports make you guys self-conscious?¡±

    ¡°Sports?¡± Ken wonders. ¡°Well, not really?¡±

    ¡°What about gym? Everyone''s so...¡± I flutter my hands slightly, trying not to move my arms off the bed much.

    ¡°That''s not very descriptive, you know...¡± Jen sighs at me.

    ¡°What I''m trying to say is that no one ever gives it their all. I''ve been wondering, is everyone worried about people watching them? Is that why they don''t try?¡± I shift my head a little toward Leona, on my left. ¡°Leona, your hundred meter dash is like twelve seconds, right? Even though you could do it in an instant.¡±

    ¡°Mm?¡± She blinks down at me. ¡°That''s just how I run unpowered. Psion powers are important and shouldn''t be wasted for silly reasons.¡± Looking troubled, she tries to explain. ¡°There''s no good reason to expend power just to run around a track, especially when I''m supposed to be testing my regular, human body, in comparison to ordinary, non-psions.¡±

    ¡°Huh...¡± I mumble. I never really thought of it that way. But... even without her powers, that''s the best she can do? Just looking at her, tall and lean from her military service, shouldn''t she be way faster than she is?

    I don''t get it...

    After a little longer, I get the ok, the health scan coming up all green. The doctor reports no fractures, torn ligaments, or other damage that she can find. ¡°Looks like that power did its job right, strengthening your body until it ran out.¡± Then she sighs. ¡°This is going to be a long year, isn''t it?¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry,¡± I apologize awkwardly.

    ¡°Just... Come here if anything does start to hurt, alright?

    ¡°Yes, ma''am.¡±

    The doctor sends us off, and we all head back to the dorms together.

    <hr>

    I end up spending most of the weekend studying and catching up on homework with Leona while everyone else hangs out. That''s fine by me, it gives me a break from thinking about things for a while. My daily checkups start to smooth out too.

    Saturday I just wind up fainting for a while, and by Sunday, it seems like she''s started dialing in on how to do a psionic flood without quite as much excess power, because the side-effects don''t hit me as strongly as before, so I just get really hungry for a bit. The whole process seems less intense and stressful for her too.

    Most of our time is spent working in silence, or strictly talking about the work, but I do get the chance to make a small amount of conversation with Leona along the way. I''m still having trouble pinning her down though. Incredibly beautiful, powerful, from a ridiculously high class military command family. But also shy and strangely standoffish. And the weirdest part, how she pays so much attention to me all the time.

    Maybe it''s related to her work observing me, but I haven''t been getting that feeling. Something about the way she moves around me, always hovering, like she''s prepared to protect me from some unknown danger.

    I don''t know, maybe it''s just my imagination? I am definitely getting the same sort of protective vibe from her as I get from Ken and Jen. It''s an impression that only grows stronger as the weekend ends and we return to class.

    The days pass by peacefully, in part thanks to the new rumor spawned by my little run last week. Apparently, people suspect me of being a psion now. I have been hanging out with the only known psion in our school...

    That rumor... also ends up being the popular explanation on how I ''had sex'' with Jen. With mind control or something. Leona scoffs when she hears that one. Apparently powers like telepathy and mind control are absurdly rare and unique, exclusively among exceptionally powerful psions.

    Well, I don''t mind the rumor that much since it''s actually helpful, keeping people from messing with me.

    One thing that... Well, I''m not entirely sure how to feel about it, honestly. Leona calls me Seiko. I hate my name because of all the pain it''s brought me, but somehow, it''s different when she says it. Like, she isn''t just using it as one of my labels to remind me how I''m a girl now.

    Instead... It''s like she uses it to refer to all of me as I am right now. I mean, yeah, that includes the girl parts, but... Something about the way she says it makes me feel like she doesn''t care about anything else, and just sees me. It''s a complicated feeling but... I don''t hate it.

    Besides, Seiko is all she calls me. Literally, she will not refer to me any other way, which gets her into a few spots where her sentences just sound ridiculous.

    I think ''Seiko went to Seiko''s room because Seiko forgot Seiko''s textbook'' is the worst among them. It definitely draws some looks when she says that during class one day.

    My checkups are definitely a mixed bag. Even if they aren''t as dramatic as before, they''re still seriously disruptive.

    I get knocked into a mini-coma from Monday night to Tuesday morning, end up reading obsessively on Tuesday, and am unbearably itchy on Wednesday. It makes it pretty hard to do much of anything after school each day. I try my best to study and get through my homework when I can, but it''s way more of a struggle than I expected.

    Apart from all that though, there is one thing that really starts to bother me as the week wears on. Jen feels distant. She never explains anything when anyone asks, but there''s a clear shift. She isn''t opening up to us about it.

    We make it to Thursday before I come out of the toilet, changed for gym, and she''s not there. ¡°Where''s Jen?¡± I ask, getting shrugs from everyone except Amari.

    ¡°Monasta-san wanted to talk to her.¡± Lacey Monasta? She sits toward the back of the class. A girl who always has her silver hair in these ridiculously fancy braids. I haven''t really spoken to her myself. She''s pretty, but comes off as a really nasty person...

    Maybe my impression is a mistake, but hearing about her call out Jen makes me really uneasy. ¡°I''ll... go check on her. You guys can go ahead.¡± I wave them all off, then jog back to the classroom. Just as I''m about to open the door, Jen comes out, and we almost run into each other.

    ¡°S-Sei?¡± she stammers a little in surprise. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±

    ¡°I came to find you, you weren''t with everyone else.¡±

    ¡°Ah, alright. Let''s get to gym,¡± she immediately pushes me forward to get moving, and sets a jogging pace, since we''re so far behind.

    I didn''t get chance to ask though... What did Lacey Monasta want from her?

    Friday night, I manage not to cry myself to sleep for the first time in a while. I''m tired and just took a shower after an hour compulsively braiding my hair, and my skin feels wonderful in the sheets of my bed and... and I like it. I don''t want to ruin this feeling.

    So for tonight, I manage to put away the thought that I shouldn''t feel good, snuggle with a dolphin plushie, and relax into sleep.

 Chapter 15

    ¡°So, what are we doing today?¡± We''re sitting out in the front of the dorm Saturday morning, the sun still bisected by the horizon while we all chat. For now, I''m happy with whatever. With no one else around to stare, I''m sitting in Jen''s lap, and she''s running her fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp.

    It''s only been like a week, but I really missed how wonderful this felt...

    ¡°Don''t worry, we have a plan,¡± Lucy chuckles darkly, her fingers playing together like some evil genius. What is she thinking...? Then she flips back to normal like it never happened. Most of us go with it, but Ken can''t suppress a chuckled snort. ¡°Anyway, is everyone here? Is Vicca-san coming with us?¡±

    The question is obviously directed at me. Leona still hasn''t gotten close with anyone else, so anything related to her always ends up going through me.

    ¡°I don''t know, let''s see...¡± I respond slowly, pulling my mobile from my pocket. I proceed to stare at it in my hand for a few seconds. ¡°That''s right, I never got her number, did I?¡± With a sad sigh, I drag myself up from Jen''s lap, away from her wonderful hands.

    ¡°I''ll go ask her, be right back.¡± With a quick wave, I head over to the girl''s dorm and ask the staff member for Leona''s room number. She grimaces for some reason, before giving it to me anyway. So, she''s all the way up on the fifth floor? I start to go, but the woman calls out and warns me to be careful, before I move on. Everyone is really... that afraid of her...

    Since it''s so far up, I take the lift. But when the doors open, of all people to see...

    ¡°Why, good morning Maka-chan.¡± It''s Lucy''s sister, Sanya Miki, looking at me with a complicated expression. I consider turning right around, but swallow down the thought and move forward. The doors close and the tiny box shudders and starts to move around the two of us.

    ¡°Good morning, Miki-san,¡± I return her greeting, trying to keep it neutral despite what she knows about my body. What does she think, that I''m a girl going to school as a guy?

    ¡°So... certainly some strange rumors going around.¡± She raises an eyebrow knowingly. She totally knows I didn''t do what they said I did... Then she leans a little closer. ¡°Unpadded, was it?¡±

    I blush bright red, while she covers her mouth to keep from laughing. ¡°Oh, I''m just teasing. How is Lucy? Are you getting along?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah,¡± I fumble my recovery. ¡°She''s good.¡± Wait that came out wrong. ¡°I-I mean, umm, Lucy''s getting by. I think she''s been having some trouble studying, but nothing too bad. We''re about to go hang out.¡±

    The lift dings. We''re stopping at the third floor.

    ¡°Tell Lucy I said hi,¡± Miki calls as she steps off, not even leaving me time to respond. Then a few more girls enter, standing around me and chatting. It takes a few long seconds standing and staring at the floor to calm my racing heart after that encounter.

    We work our way up the next couple floors, occupants changing again on each, and I need to remind myself to be patient, until I get off at the fifth floor, wiggling my way out of the crowd of taller women.

    Right, that''s why I avoid lifts....

    I pull away from the other girls that got off on the floor with me and head to Leona''s room. After a few loud knocks, I wait. With so many people living in close quarters, the doors and walls have pretty great sound insulation.

    I have no idea if she''s even in her room, awake or not, before the door swishes open.

    Why is she naked?!

    Her short hair is messy and she''s rubbing one eye with a sleepy expression, wearing nothing but a pair of red panties.

    ¡°Morning, Seiko,¡± she says, moving aside to let me in. My burning face swishes back and forth to the handfuls of women in the hall who are definitely watching, before I rush through the doorway and pull it closed behind.

    Leona wanders over to her dresser while speaking. ¡°So, what is it?¡±

    I don''t know whether to avert my eyes or not, and wind up staring at her big, muscular back while she grabs a similarly red bra and turns back to me. I get another eyeful of her big boobs, before she pulls the bra on, leaning and stretching to get it closed behind her back.

    Her bra looks so different from mine, and it even closes differently?

    No, that''s not what I should be thinking about right now! Yet, I can''t help but stare as she pulls it away with one hand, cupping her breasts one at a time with her other, and settling them in place with practiced motions. Is that how girls with bigger breasts deal with them...?

    I finally manage to shake my head. I can''t think about stuff like that!

    ¡°Everyone is going to hang out, I wanted to know if you''ll come. A-and also, can I get your number? So I... don''t have to come to your room to ask you stuff like this...? I trail off meekly.

    ¡°Sure.¡± She taps her mobile screen, then extends the device, so I tap mine against hers, and they both chime.

    ¡°That''s a nice sound,¡± she comments on my phone chime out of nowhere, ¡°it''s cute.¡±

    ¡°C-cute?¡±

    Ignoring my embarrassed response, Leona says, ¡°Yes, I''ll come with you,¡± and continues getting dressed.

    She pulls on a deep, maroon colored button down and a pair of black, high waisted skinny jeans, tucking the shirt in.

    The way they hug her curves, but also look so thrown on and casual... Leona is just gorgeous in anything, isn''t she? Meanwhile, I threw a black hoodie over my black t-shirt to hide my figure, with a pair of sloppy jeans with holes in the knees because I haven''t outgrown them since the beginning of middle school.

    ¡°See anything you like?¡± Leona asks with an odd smile that doesn''t reach her eyes.

    ¡°Yes- I mean no- I mean...¡± I bumble immediately, looking away when I realize I''ve been staring. I shouldn''t, but... ¡°I really like your shirt...¡± I admit.

    I don''t know why, but Leona looks surprised. Ugh, she thinks I''m weird now, doesn''t she? I''m not interested in women''s clothing! Why did I say that?

    ¡°I''ll lend you one later.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°I think pink would be a better color on you.¡± This time, when I look up, her tiny smile actually does reach her eyes. ¡°Come on.¡± She grabs a few more things, like a shoulder bag, and leads me back out of her room.

    We draw even more burning gazes as we cross the dorm floor, and rather than the lift, we wind up going down all five flights of stairs to reach the ground floor, and leave the building.

    Once we arrive at the front of the dorm, there are more people around, moving out in clusters. Our friends all stand to greet us. ¡°Alright, time to go have fun!¡± Lucy gives an exaggerated cry and jabs her arm out, pointing at nothing in particular.

    ¡°Yes yes, fun fun,¡± the taller Amari patronizes her with a few pats on the head. That turns into the two of them making faces at each other as we join the other groups walking across campus in the direction of the transit terminal.

    I''d expect this from Lucy, but Amari''s pretty energetic today, isn''t she?

    When I remember, I wave a hand for attention. ¡°Oh yeah, Lucy-chan, I met Miki-san on my way. She said to say hi.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I''ll have to talk to her later,¡± Lucy responds while her and Amari continue to poke fun at each other.

    ¡°So, are you going to tell us where we''re going now?¡± Jen eventually speaks up, since Lucy never got around to that part.

    Showing a big grin, she responds, ¡°Jostole.¡±

    ¡°Hm? Why Jostole?¡± That''s a neighboring town, the better part of an hour away by shuttle, since it swings past the mall first, which is mostly in the other direction.

    Once more, we hop onto a packed shuttle shortly after arriving at the terminal, only for the whole thing to immediately empty, leaving our group alone once more. Except... Is that Gon?

    Unexpectedly, Trace Gon, who I hardly ever see despite him sitting directly behind me in class, is the only other person on the shuttle. He''s sitting all the way in one corner, head buried in a book. He doesn''t even seem to notice us, so I eventually turn back to the others.

    ¡°So, what are we doing in Jostole?¡± I ask as we all lounge on the way.

    ¡°It''s our hometown,¡± Amari shows a dazzling smile. ¡°There''s a ton of fun stuff to do there. We''re going to show you all around.¡±

    ¡°That sounds nice.¡±

    When we arrive, that''s exactly what they do. It''s not a huge town, but there''s a theater, a small mall with a clothing store, some scattered restaurants... After wandering a bit, I notice the shine in Leona''s eyes when we pass the theater, and recommend we watch something.

    Everyone agrees easily. When we head in, I point out the new movie they have advertised that just came out, and everyone jumps at the suggestion. Just looking around, it''s clear no one wanted to be the one to decide. I narrow my eyes at them, but they try playing it off, so I relent.

    The movie ends up being some over the top action movie where the villain ends up dying at the end by having a microwave gun explode the eyes out of his head. In... unnecessarily gory detail.

    It''s... huh.

    ¡°Seiko...¡± Leona murmurs on our way out. I can only offer her an awkward smile. ¡°You pick weird movies...¡±

    They all pile on agreements. When I fix them with my best unamused look, they turn away, pretending they didn''t add to the decision at all.

    The fake tension breaks when we all start laughing. At least it wasn''t that bad a movie. Saying as much, we put the theater behind us as lunch time approaches.

    ¡°Alright, time to show you all the best part of Jostole.¡± Amari can barely keep her excitement in check while we''re heading down the sidewalk, nice little buildings lining both sides of the city center. Semi-modern in appearance, at least compared to normal towns. Thinking back, Meridan Central was like whole different world...

    ¡°It''s weird, coming back now that we''ve moved away.¡± Lucy''s comment draws me from my thoughts, her words holding an unexpected awkwardness. Assent comes quietly from Amari, and even Ken and Jen look like they get it. I try picturing walking back through my hometown, and I can barely do it. It''s only been a month, and so much has changed...

    It''s quiet for a few blocks, until we arrive at our destination, and the group''s mood instantly shifts when we all look up.

    ¡°Uhh, ''Cosplay Costume Cafe Cosplay?''¡± Jen reads off the sign.

    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

    ¡°Aren''t there like... one too many ''cosplays'' in there?¡± Ken gawks.

    Both of the veteran cosplayers blow off our concerns entirely. ¡°Come on, inside, inside,¡± they keep calling, drawing us all in through the front doors, decorated with these incredibly cute pink bunny stickers.

    As soon as we enter, there''s a woman standing near the door. ¡°Ah, Jann-chan, Miki-chan, it''s so nice to see you again!¡± She''s dressed in a surprisingly revealing red outfit with big pink rabbit ears over her chestnut hair. Even though she''s a good deal older than us, the woman looks beautiful, leveling the first two members of our group with a big, beaming smile.

    ¡°We''re back, Flora-san,¡± they both respond together.

    ¡°So, who do we have here? New friends from high school?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. We''re hanging out, we wanted to show them around town.¡±

    ¡°Well, you came to the right place, come on.¡± Once she has us swipe our mobiles for the entrance fee, Flora waves us past the entrance and we follow in a pack behind her. ¡°Have you explained our deal here?¡± she asks over her shoulder, and the girls give knowing smiles while shaking their heads.

    ¡°Alright then,¡± Flora stops us in the center of a pretty expansive room, separated into a couple areas. ¡°We do all things cosplay here,¡± Flora starts. ¡°To your right, a cafe. With the servers in cosplay, of course.¡± I follow her gesture, over to a slightly elevated section with a woman in a fluffy pink magical girl dress serving a table of young girls.

    ¡°Now on your left, you can see we have racks of costumes to try on, pose, and take pictures, whatever. Enjoy yourselves! We just ask that you leave the costumes there, and don''t bring them into the cafe area. Don''t want an accidental stain, I''m sure you understand. Of course, you can purchase any costumes you like, we have a few new ones every week.¡±

    Once done with the introductory spiel, she gives us all a wave and returns to the entrance to greet the next customer.

    So... it''s a place we can get dressed up, and a cafe where we can be served by people dressed up. Huh...

    ¡°Alright guys, which first?¡± Amari turns and asks, but we all can''t help smirking. She''s already shuffling slightly toward the cosplay side even as she asks us what to do. We all go along with it, heading across the wide open floor to where there are a number of standing racks, with all sorts of costumes and accessories lined up.

    There are also a couple extremely oversized mirrors set in the pleasantly off-white walls, big enough for our entire group to stand in front of and fit in the shot. Between the mirrors, there are doors into changing rooms for men and women.

    Amari runs right up to the racks of costumes, poring over one section in particular and squealing about certain characters or certain shows. If she''s been coming here since she was younger, I''m assuming those are the new ones since she was here last?

    While I''m watching Lucy wander off in another direction, Jen grabs my sleeve. ¡°Come on, Sei,¡± she says and pulls me over to another rack, leaving Ken and Leona behind. I glance back, and surprisingly, the pair share somewhat amused looks.

    ¡°Here, these are marked for your size...¡± Jen intones while looking across the sizing marked above the racks, and stopping us at the right one. ¡°What kind of outfit would you like?¡± she asks, starting to scour through them.

    ¡°W-well, I don''t know...¡± I scratch my cheek, and start looking over the clothes until one sticks out at me. I think it''s... vaguely familiar from something I watched before. I pull it off the rack to look it over. It''s mostly white. Undershirt, blazer, and something like slacks, though the material feels soft and swishy.

    Overall, the style''s not that different from our school uniforms, but there''s no tie, and it has these bright red detailing lines down the sleeves, and a pointy, popped collar on the jacket. ¡°Go for it, see how it fits,¡± Jen encourages me, nudging me toward the changing rooms. But...

    When she catches me hesitate, she leans in closer. ¡°Stick with the women''s room, in case anyone sees you,¡± she advises, and pushes me that way. She says that, but is it really alright? We are the only ones in the cosplay section right now, so I guess it''s not so bad...?

    Trying not to think about it too much, I carry the costume into the back. There are some cubbies to use, so I pull off my clothes and stuff them into one of the baskets. I''m in my bra and boxers when the door opens again, Amari and Lucy coming through.

    I freeze up when their eyes land on me, shifting to hide behind the costume I haven''t changed into yet.

    ¡°Uh, Sei-kun?¡± Lucy speaks up first.

    ¡°I-I''m sorry, I should have used the other changing room, I''ll just-¡±

    ¡°No no, it''s fine!¡± she puts her hands up to stop me. ¡°As if you could go in there! What do you think a man would do if he saw you like that?¡± I initially flinch at the thought, but wait...

    ¡°Umm, nothing? I change in front of Ken every day,¡± I respond once I''ve thought about it.

    ¡°Geh.¡± They both cringe, before Lucy crosses her arms. ¡°Ken doesn''t count. He''s a good guy, and like, your best friend ever. There are tons of terrible people out there you have to be a lot more worried about. For instance, what if it was that one guy? Bolin Vance?¡±

    Me alone, with Vance, naked. As a girl.

    It''s like a bat to the head. Before I can push the feeling down, the box bursts and my response is instant. My arms come up around myself, whole body shaking uncontrollably.

    The way he touched me.

    ¡°S-Sei-kun?!¡±

    No.

    No! That was a long time ago!

    I square my shoulders. ¡°I''m fine,¡± I growl through my gritted teeth, rubbing away the tears from my cheeks. I slam the box shut and chain it closed. I''m not thinking about that again.

    ¡°You don''t... look fine...¡± Amari murmurs.

    I shake my head. Shove it deep down into the dark where it belongs. Those things will never happen again.

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''s fine,¡± I tell them so they''ll stop worrying. I slip into the costume and head back out of the changing room.

    ¡°Sei, you look good!¡± Jen immediately starts complimenting me, before stopping and asking, ¡°Is everything alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I''m fine. Just thought about something unpleasant, I''ll get over it.¡±

    ¡°If you say so...¡± she responds doubtfully. ¡°If you want to talk about it, just let me know.¡± She gives me a gentle nudge with her elbow, then moves on. ¡°Well then, let''s focus on something fun. Let''s take some pictures!¡± she quickly recovers her cheer and drags me over to a big mirror. I gratefully roll with it.

    I... look kind of odd. The costume is a tad large on me, so it''s a bit baggy. It''s most noticeable in the pants, which are definitely too long because I''m so short. The rest of isn''t too bad, though it''s not fit well enough to show my curves or anything.

    The quality is good enough that if you told me this was an actual school uniform, I''d believe it. It just doesn''t have that... weird, costume look to it. It''s like something you could wear in everyday life without standing out that much.

    With all that said, due to the fit, it still doesn''t look that good on me. I make myself smile for the picture, but overall, the outfit isn''t great, and I don''t feel good at all. Once she''s done, I turn my thoughts to looking for something else to avoid brooding. Soon enough, I find something else, and go change into that.

    I shuffle through a handful of poorly fitting outfits, always with too-long pants, but even if none of them are quite right, it''s still surprisingly fun, and after a few, my mood lifts again. One of my favorite parts is seeing everyone else get dressed up. Amari as a magical girl, Lucy as a knight, Jen as a goth skater. Ken in this red tropical shirt with a big golden chain around his neck that''s vaguely reminiscent of some show I remember.

    Even Leona, after some hesitation, tries on a couple outfits, and seems to be enjoying herself. Amari takes pictures of everyone, and even I take a picture of myself when I find one I actually like. It''s this costume with some leather pieces and a green half-cloak from some popular show virtually everyone watched when we were younger. It''s a tighter fit than the others, so it doesn''t look too bad on me, and the pants mostly fit too.

    By the time we''re all getting back into our own clothes, I''m not as bothered by changing with the girls anymore. I just focus on myself, and it''s not that bad. On our way back out of the changing room, I check my mobile, looking at the picture I took. I might actually look a bit cool in it, for once.

    When was the last time I took a picture of myself anyway? Frowning as I wonder, I tap to pull up pictures with me in them, and the last time is a family picture sent from my parents on my birthday. That was almost a month ago already, wasn''t it? Before that, a family picture sent from my parents over the holidays. And before that... a family picture sent from my parents on my last birthday.

    Do I... really not have any normal pictures of myself? I continue to scroll, until I find one picture. It''s me and Ken when we were really little kids. We''re all scratched up, and I look like I was crying with red, puffy eyes, and I''m kind of scowling. Ken has this big grin on his face. This was... what, when we first met, I guess? That was in kindergarten, when I was only five. When I was being bullied and he jumped in to save me.

    Just judging by the way the picture is taken, it looks like he grabbed my mobile and took the picture of us to remember.

    ¡°What''cha looking at?¡± Lucy chirps as she leans on my shoulder.

    ¡°An old picture.¡±

    ¡°Is that from when we met?¡± Ken asks, leaning over me from behind as we walk.

    Soon enough, everyone''s gathered up around to look at the mobile screen, before we all break apart again to take our seats in the cafe. We all order drinks, from the waitress dressed like sexy witch. I decide on some lemonade.

    Then Ken asks, ¡°Why were you looking at such an old photo?¡±

    ¡°A-ah,¡± I mumble awkwardly. ¡°I was wondering when the last time was that I took a picture of myself. Do you guys take pictures that often?¡±

    ¡°Only in cosplay.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    ¡°Sometimes?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    With all their varied responses, Ken shrugs, but Leona is the only one who says she doesn''t. I look around the table, and Lucy is the first to speak. ¡°I mean, maybe a few a day, whenever I think the lighting is good, or if I like my outfit.¡±

    Jen nods a few times. ¡°Yeah, really nice outfits are picture-worthy,¡± she agrees.

    ¡°Ehh, normal clothes are so boring,¡± Amari complains, lying her chin on the edge of the table. With those three out of the way, the attention at the table turns.

    ¡°It''s not like I just take pictures of clothes,¡± Ken laughs with his goofy grin. ¡°More like when I''m in a good mood or I just did something cool, you know?¡± Huh, such a different reason...

    Then there''s Leona. Not meeting our gazes, she leans back in her chair with her arms crossed, and shrugs. ¡°I don''t really like how I look.¡±

    ¡°Huh?!¡± Every one of us is staring at her, which just makes her withdraw even more.

    ¡°S-sorry, that''s just a big surprise,¡± Jen tries to explain. ¡°You''re like, the most gorgeous girl in class, even Runa doesn''t hold a candle to you.¡±

    ¡°Neither of you are even in our class,¡± Ken jokes, elbowing her in the side.

    ¡°Oh, you know what I mean,¡± she retorts, before going on. ¡°I''d love to have a body like you, for real.¡±

    ¡°Then let''s trade,¡± Leona sighs, with just enough venom that everyone winces.

    ¡°Mm...¡± Lucy slowly starts, before asking, ¡°So, what do you not like?¡± Leona looks around the table, before shaking her head.

    ¡°I''d rather not talk about it.¡±

    ¡°That''s fine,¡± Lucy backs off immediately. ¡°Not if you''re uncomfortable. But, uhh, we''re all friends here, right?¡± she goes on with a hint of nerves leaking through. ¡°Feel free to talk to us whenever.¡±

    Leona''s expression softens, just a little, and she nods.

    From there, we all settle into chatting as our drinks arrive. Ken and I get a sandwiches, Leona gets this foreign meatball dish, and the other girls get fruit parfaits. My sandwich is good, but the girls really look like they''re enjoying their parfaits...

    Why don''t I get one? I always felt too weird and self-conscious about eating food like that before, and I get this awful pit in my stomach when I think of parfaits in particular... But now there''s no reason to worry, right? I''d look just like them anyway.

    Wait, isn''t that a bad thing? I''m not supposed to look like them... But parfaits look so tasty... And no one would make fun of me...

    Eventually, I just put the thought aside. My sandwich is pretty filling. It''s... enough. I don''t need more.

    It''s enough.

    We chat over our food and drinks for a while. While the girls are bantering and poking fun at Ken, I notice someone at another table. Trace Gon? He came here too? As always, he''s reading something, sipping at his drink once in a while. He... is peering at the waitresses very closely when they go past though...

    Well, he is a guy, so whatever. I ignore him and eat, and just enjoy being with my friends now.

    Once we all finish up and chat for a little while longer, it''s time to head back. We leave the cafe with smiles and waves to the staff, and Flora sees us all off happily, with a reminder to stop in again sometime, of course.

    ¡°We should totally go again next weekend,¡± Jen says on the shuttle ride back.

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Ken chips in with a few strong nods, before he cracks a grin. ¡°So many pretty girls, if only I could find a girlfriend.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, same,¡± Jen throws her head back and groans. There''s a pause, then, ¡°Hey! You know what I mean! Didn''t we have this conversation already?!¡±

    Everyone laughs for a bit, before Jen spits out, ¡°Seriously, why not go for Runa-chan? You''re pretty hot, I think you could manage it.¡±

    Ken fakes a gasp. ¡°Was that a compliment?¡± And receives an elbow for his trouble. Still laughing, he returns fire. ¡°What about you and Zeke-san?¡±

    ¡°Zeke-san?¡± she questions, like she''s considering it, and my heart drops.

    ¡°N-not Zeke-san!¡± I can''t help but speak up, pulling all eyes on me. That draws questioning looks from everyone, and all I can really say is, ¡°You should stay away from him. He''s a jerk now...¡± I stare down at my knees, not wanting to look at them. Or explain what happened the other day. That feeling...

    Clenching my jaw, I shove it down.

    Jen says, ¡°That''s... concerning. I''ll take your word for it, Sei.¡±

    My outburst puts a damper on things for a bit, but we manage to lift the mood again by the time we get back to school. It''s only a half hour ride back, since we don''t need to swing all the way past the mall this time.

 Chapter 16

    ¡°Seiko, let''s go for your checkup,¡± Leona advises as soon as we step off the shuttle.

    ¡°Alright. Is anyone else coming, or are we splitting up here?¡± I ask. After the first day with everyone watching, some continued coming, but it quickly became clear that most of the time there''s nothing for them to do or help with, so it''s been me and Leona for the last couple days.

    Everyone excuses themselves, so it''s just the two of us today too. We greet the doctor as usual, then get to it.

    Even if Leona hasn''t fully explained the process since it''s a psion thing, I''ve managed to put a few things together. First, there''s the tab she sticks to her forehead, it''s definitely something to read her brainwaves, probably so that when she looks into my energy pathways, what she sees will be sent to her mobile and recorded. That must be what she sets up on her mobile first every time.

    Once more, after she pushes me down, I note that the places she puts her hands ¨C my chest and abdomen ¨C are the spots where energy cores should be. I don''t know why she''s choosing those parts, but I''m assuming it''s necessary for this to work.

    And then there are the eyes. I still don''t get it, all I can think of is that old saying that eyes are the window into the soul, but I have no idea if that has any meaning. It''s where her psionic energy always comes from though, so maybe that''s where the energy can come out of the pathways inside or something?

    Lastly, every time since the first, Leona''s eyes glow red instead of blue. I know the two energy types she has are those colors, though I wouldn''t even begin to guess what they actually mean. Since her energy usually comes out purple any time she isn''t doing a psionic flood, I''m assuming she normally uses the two together, and is forcibly focusing on only one of them for the flood.

    Why? I have no idea. To keep the energy in me from getting even more mixed up than it already is maybe? As for why she''s only using red, my only real guess is that she''s trying to avoid the arousal effect from the first time she did it. Even though it''s random every time? I don''t know, but it''s the only thing I can come up with.

    Again today, her eyes glow into mine, and there''s a smaller surge than before. She''s definitely gaining better control as she keeps doing this. The energy flows through me and... huh. When she comes up for air, panting lightly, I lie on the bed, feeling... a little different I guess, but without any apparent problems. Much different than usual.

    I sit up and fix my clothes while she taps away on her mobile, probably sending off the results to psi-ops, and just move my body a little. Yeah, I don''t think there''s anything this time. After a short exchange with Leona and the doctor, she has me stand up and walk around a little, and all I can do is shrug.

    ¡°Mm, maybe I''m a little sleepy, but I''m not sure if that''s from the energy or from going out today,¡± I intone uncertainly. In response, Leona leans in close to stare into my eyes again, but ends up shrugging afterward.

    ¡°Alright, let''s get you back to your dorm then.¡±

    With a short goodbye to doctor Belinda, we head across campus again, back to the dorm. Since I''m fine, we split up at the front, and I head up to my room alone. I flop down on my bed. I''m not sure what do do with myself, since I''ve been forced into dealing with the side-effects of psionic floods so much lately.

    With the unexpected free time, I end up playing with my mobile for a bit, before Ken gets back. We hang out, study, watch some TV, and eventually I turn in for the night, a little earlier than usual since I feel a bit off.

    The next day, Jen''s busy, so I just hang with Ken and some other guys. Play some games, watch some movies. It''s weird, getting... guy time. They all laugh and joke, horse around, talk about chicks... Despite none of them knowing about me, I just... don''t feel like I fit in. Even though they think I''m a guy, why don''t they treat me like one of them...?

    <hr>

    Eventually, Leona shows up in the afternoon for my checkup.

    Once more, things proceed as usual, right up until she gasps, and reels back at the end. ¡°L-Leona?!¡± I sit up as she groans, before righting herself.

    ¡°Sorry, I don''t think I put enough power into it this time, so there was some recoil.¡±

    ¡°Do you need to do it again?¡±

    ¡°No, I only have enough power to try once a day.¡±

    ¡°Even if you use blue?¡±

    I think it''s an obvious question, but Leona looks confused, just for a moment as she asks, ¡°Blue?¡± But then she shakes her head. ¡°...No. I... don''t have enough power.¡± But she won''t meet my eyes when she says it.

    Wow, I didn''t realize Leona was such a bad liar...

    ¡°Isn''t it going to be an issue missing the data you need for a day?¡± I ask uncertainly.

    ¡°No, missing one day is no big deal, as long as we don''t miss two.¡± The way she casually shrugs that one off tells me she''s being truthful this time. As long as it''s not a problem...

    ¡°Well, that''s all for today,¡± she sighs, ¡°Are you feeling alright? No energy buildup?¡±

    I move my hands a little. ¡°I... don''t think so?¡± I guess there''s nothing because it didn''t work?

    Leona leans close, staring deep into my eyes. After a few tense moments, she pulls back. ¡°I don''t think I''m seeing any problems, it should be fine. Let''s head back for today.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    <hr>

    Monday, classes continue on as usual, and I''m starting to get into the comfortable routine. I still miss Jen not playing with my hair during breaks, but I can hardly blame her with the way everyone is watching us. I also make sure to bring lunch with me to avoid splitting up from the others to go to the cafeteria. I may not be able to cook, but shoving food in a box is within my abilities.

    Classes continue as usual until gym. When we all arrive, the teacher says it''s a new month, so we''re doing weight lifting now.

    Ugh.

    We all head to the weight room. Lifting weights and machines of all types scattered around the large space. I always hated this place. So many people to eye me while I just want to be left alone. And it reminds me of Dad...

    Of course... ¡°Maka-san, you''re the smallest, but you''re still a guy.¡± The teacher calls me out like that. ¡°Pick up these weights and show everyone how to do a curl.¡± They''re just these tiny little five kilo hand weights. Ignoring my itching back at everyone suddenly watching me, I walk over while the teacher keeps talking.

    ¡°Weights like these are light enough that even you girls can lift them if you try. Guys, I''d point you to the tens.¡± What is this guy even talking about...? I get to the front, kneel down, and pick up the weights.

    ¡°Huh?¡± I blink stupidly at the crowd. Why are they so heavy?

    ¡°Come on, Maka-san, even you can''t be that weak, aren''t you a man?¡± the teacher sighs at me.

    ¡°N-no, I-¡± I stammer.

    ¡°Come on, just give us one curl,¡± he rolls his eyes. So I do. I grit my teeth, grip the weights, and do a curl with each arm. It''s kind of hard. These weights shouldn''t be so heavy...

    ¡°Are you sure these are five kilo?¡± I ask, ¡°they''re too heavy.¡±

    ¡°Then you should work out more and man up,¡± he scoffs at me, and a few people snicker. I... but...

    ¡°Seiko.¡± Suddenly, Leona calls my name as she steps out of the crowd of watching, giggling students.

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°What did you say? What''s wrong with those weights?¡± She sounds so serious...

    ¡°They''re heavier than they should be,¡± I reply.

    ¡°Don''t tell me...¡± Leona mutters as she rapidly crosses the distance between us. She grabs my chin, lifting my face so she can press her forehead to mine and stare deep into my eyes. My whole face flushes red. What is she doing in front of all these people?!

    There''s a room full of gasps, then she releases me and turns away, cursing and scowling. ¡°Damn it, I screwed up. That''s why yesterday went wrong.¡± She spins to the dumbfounded teacher. ¡°Sir, I''m taking Seiko to the infirmary.¡±

    He doesn''t even respond as she has me drop the weights and grabs my hand, pulling me away through the rapidly parting crowd of gawking students.

    We soon arrive in the office, where the doctor says, ¡°You''re early, shouldn''t you still be in class?¡±

    ¡°I screwed up with Seiko''s checkup yesterday. It didn''t work ¨C not because I didn''t use enough energy, because Seiko already had too much. The energy from Saturday didn''t burn off overnight after all.¡±

    ¡°Wait, it didn''t? Then what was the effect?¡±

    ¡°Weakness,¡± she responds immediately. ¡°You just said those weights were heavier than they should have been. Did you do anything over the weekend that would use your strength?¡±

    ¡°No...¡± I wasn''t really in the mood to lift my weights.

    ¡°I screwed up because we''ve been burning off the energy until now. We have to get you to burn off this one since apparently, your system isn''t purging itself at all. So you have to...¡± she pauses. ¡°Do physical exercise? While you''re in a weakened state, I guess?¡± She sounds uncertain, but that''s the best thing I can think of too. It worked while I was strengthened, so why not while I''m weakened?

    ¡°So does that mean we should go back to gym and I should just... keep working out until it wears off and I go back to normal?¡±

    ¡°Well, yes, but... Mm...¡± Leona curls a finger around her chin. ¡°Maybe not... Seiko, you aren''t all that weak right now, so maybe we should leave the energy there instead. Then you won''t have to go through random effects every day.¡±

    ¡°But...¡± What does she mean I''m not that weak? I had trouble with a five kilo weight. That''s hardly a fraction of my usual strength... At the same time, I can see the reason for it. It''s not like I actually have to use my strength most of the time. I only lifted and got strong so I could fight off bullies. As long as I keep my friends around, the bullies stay away.

    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Compared to everything else, effects which have usually eaten up an evening to deal with, it''ll hardly ever come up as an issue.

    ¡°So... I would just be like this normally...¡± I mumble. ¡°Wait, but what about the problem you had yesterday? Would you be able to keep checking me?¡±

    ¡°As long as you burn off most of the energy, I''ll manage. It''ll just be adding more each day, so you''ll have to exercise more to burn that off.¡±

    ¡°Exercise more, when I''m this weak...¡± I sigh. ¡°Well, fine I guess. Since this is the least disruptive to my daily life...¡±

    ¡°Good, one more thing.¡± With her words, Leona leans in to stare into my eyes again. I hold still, now that I have a good idea of what she''s doing. I guess compared to doing a psionic flood, this is more of just a peek inside?

    When she pulls away a few moments later, she groans. ¡°Now I see, the energy doesn''t show up unless it''s in use, that''s why I missed it before... Seiko, struggle.¡±

    Struggle? While I''m questioning what she could mean, her eyes suddenly glow with purple light, and the air grows unbearably oppressive. She grabs my hands and pins me against the wall, hard. ¡°H-huh?!¡± I gasp out, going red from ear to ear.

    Staring into my eyes from up close, she says, ¡°Come on, struggle. Try to get free.¡±

    Still in shock, I try, flailing and straining against her hands. But between her eyes glowing with psionic power and my own weakened state, I can''t budge her fingers even the tiniest bit. I only have to try for a few seconds before she nods. ¡°Alright, that works.¡±

    She pulls back, and I slide to the floor in a blushing heap. ¡°Good, as long as you''re physically exerting yourself, I can get a measure of the energy left, so you won''t accidentally burn it all off if I keep an eye on you.¡±

    ¡°R-right...¡± I mumble at the floor. So that''s what that was about... Why doesn''t she warn me before she does stuff like that...?

    ¡°Alright, Doctor, we''ll be heading back to class now.¡± She grabs me and drags me back out of the room, while I stare back at the doctor with eyes screaming ''save me!'' The woman smiles and waves.

    Once we get back to the weight room, everyone''s eyes are on us, but as always, Leona keeps up her cold act, like they aren''t even there. Instead, she keeps constant watch on me, pushing me to work out despite how mortifying it is with everyone watching.

    No matter how uncomfortable or self-conscious it makes me, she won''t take no for an answer. ¡°It will be bad if I can''t get a reading two days in a row,¡± she tells me while I''m fighting to lift the tiny weights. God, I''m so weak now... Ugh, it would be really bad if we missed today though. I don''t know how psi-ops would respond, so despite it all, I keep pushing on with all of my suddenly meager strength.

    To make matters worse, Leona checks me regularly, gazing deep into my eyes each time, while the rest of the class stares and snickers. I''m already so hot and sweaty, blushing hardly makes a difference...

    ¡°You could take off your jacket if you''re that hot,¡± Ken suggests one time as I''m panting on the floor.

    ¡°I can''t...¡± I grumble. All I have on under is my white undershirt, which isn''t enough to hide my figure.

    ¡°Mm...¡± he rumbles, ¡°Good luck, then.¡± With Leona hovering around me the entire time, the teacher leaves me alone and keeps his distance. As does basically everyone else.

    When class finally ends, Leona needs to hold me to keep me upright as she brings us over to the teacher. ¡°I''ll be bringing Seiko back to the infirmary now,¡± she tells him flatly.

    ¡°Right, sure.¡± He gives a stiff response, and lets us go without a single question. When it becomes clear I can barely stand, let alone walk, she sweeps me off my feet, into a princess carry again, and carries me away. I can''t miss the jeers from behind as we walk away.

    ¡°Noo....¡± I moan, covering my burning face. Why does Leona do the most embarrassing stuff...? Even as I want to crawl into a hole somewhere, she brings me back to the infirmary.

    ¡°What, are you skipping last period this time?¡± the doctor asks in a huff when we arrive. But then she frowns when she sees me. ¡°Maka-san, you''re clearly overheated, you need to drink more water,¡± she scolds me. ¡°And take off your jacket if you''re that hot.¡±

    I do as she says, unzipping my jacket and tossing it aside. When she returns with a glass of water, her eyes go wide, before averting her gaze. I look down at myself.

    My white shirt is utterly soaked through, sticking tight to my skin, my bra clearly visible through it.

    ¡°Well, I suppose I understand leaving it on in your circumstances...¡± the doctor sighs with one hand to her brow, them comes and hands me the glass of water. I drink it slowly for a minute, my foggy, tired brain beginning to work a little better.

    Since my shirt clearly isn''t helping, I wind up peeling it off. It lands in a sopping heap on the bed, beside my jacket. Just sitting in my bra is a bit embarrassing, but the cool air on my skin feels incredible. I drink a few more glasses of water before I feel like I''ve recovered. Then Leona comes over.

    ¡°Alright, time for another check. You still have two days of energy built up. I can''t risk missing two days in a row, so I''m going to be a bit more rough than usual. Alright?¡±

    ¡°O-ok...¡± I answer nervously. Rougher... how?

    After she prepares, Leona climbs on top of me, and starts gathering energy. Only this time, it''s stronger than usual. I can feel it in the air, like it''s going to crush me straight through the bed. Also, her eyes don''t hue shift this time. Is she using her full power?

    The light is starting to overflow from her eyes, when the sound of the office door swinging open cuts through the room. We both flinch, the light starting to go out in Leona''s eyes, before she grimaces and it returns. She isn''t stopping? Don''t tell me she can''t...?

    ¡°Keep quiet,¡± she hisses through her teeth, reaching behind herself to grab at the thin blanket and throw it over us. To... hide us, I guess. Then her full attention returns to me as her eyes glow brighter and brighter purple.

    The doctor has already thrown the curtain shut and run over to the door, surely knowing it will be a serious problem if someone sees us right now. ¡°Yes? What is it?¡± she asks.

    ¡°I have stomach cramps,¡± comes a girl''s voice. It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can''t place who it belongs to.

    ¡°Sure, sure, I''ll get you some medicine. Just wait here a moment.¡± Then her footsteps tap away across the room while Leona takes a few deep breaths. I know she''s about ready, either unwilling or unable to delay this, so I clamp my hands over my mouth because I have no idea how much worse this will be than usual.

    In those last few seconds, I hear light footsteps approaching, not the doctor''s, and I get a sudden, terrible feeling. We''re in the last rest bed on the end, and this girl''s steps are coming in our direction.

    Whether she notices or cares, Leona is going for it. She presses her hands into position, pushing down harder than normal. It''s almost painful. She grits her teeth and brings her face to mine. Indigo overwhelms my vision, and I''m being washed away in light.

    My senses start to sputter out, electric running over my skin, ice filling my bones. I lose comprehension of the world around me, until she pulls back, and I''m finally aware of the low whine leaking from my throat, into my clasped hands.

    On top of me, Leona''s entire body quakes in silence as she fights down whatever feeling overwhelms her.

    ¡°Alright, here''s some medication,¡± the doctor''s voice suddenly comes from directly outside the curtain. We both jolt, but manage to maintain our silence.

    ¡°Thank you, doctor,¡± comes the girl''s voice again. Whoever she is, she didn''t see anything, did she? Her footsteps take her back out of the room again, before the doctor pulls open the curtain.

    ¡°Are you two alright?¡± she asks when Leona rises and the blanket slides off. Leona is one thing, but I must look absolutely panicked.

    ¡°Y-yeah, I think so...¡± I eventually manage to answer.

    ¡°Sorry, I was really nervous there. I used too much power,¡± Leona murmurs. When she stands up, she actually wavers on her feet. She waves off the help of the doctor, standing up straight on her own. Her face is kind of pale though, and she looks weaker than I''ve ever seen her before.

    She grabs her mobile and taps at it for a bit. She got it done, but it looks like it cost her... ¡°Come on, Seiko, let''s get back.¡± There''s no strength in her voice.

    ¡°Y-yeah.¡± I pull my sweat-drenched shirt back on and cover it with my jacket for now. I''ll have to shower and change when we get back to the dorm. Since we''ve already missed last period by this point, we go straight back to the dorm building, though we''re both dragging pretty badly by the time we arrive.

    ¡°I''m turning in, see you tomorrow, Seiko,¡± Leona pants lightly.

    ¡°See you tomorrow, Leona.¡±

    We split up, and I trudge my way upstairs. I''m almost falling over, my body heavy and legs legs like jelly, by the time I make it up to the third floor. Everyone stares, whispers passing between them, as I end up limping through the common room, before I make it back to my own room.

    I go straight for the shower, dropping my disgusting clothing on the way, and end up just standing under the water for a minute to get the sweat off, before turning off the water and leaving the room.

    ¡°Sei-¡± Ken barely gets my name out before he goes beat red and spins away.

    ¡°Sorry... tired...¡± I mumble as I stumble my way over to the side of my bed and pass out, possibly before I hit the mattress.

    I end up waking up just after midnight with a pounding headache. ¡°Right...¡± I grumble. At least Ken threw a blanket over me. He''s already asleep, so I stagger up, and take care of my body. Water, toilet, a proper shower where I actually wash myself. Then clothes, and I trudge out into the common area to eat something.

    While I''m crunching my way through... what the hell is this? Whatever---

    ¡°Yo, you look like shit, bro,¡± a guy''s voice comes from nearby. He plops into a seat the wrong way, leaning heavily on the back. ¡°What''s up? Name''s Janson Bro. Everyone just calls me ''Bro.''¡±

    ¡°Bro?¡± I raise an eyebrow. Is that name unfortunate or....?

    ¡°Hey, I get to make all the bro jokes I want, bro,¡± he shrugs. ¡°You''re Seiko Maka, right?¡±

    ¡°Uh huh.¡± I bite into my food again. It figures everyone knows me by now...

    ¡°Man, you should hear some of the shit people say about you,¡± Bro laughs.

    ¡°I have, it''s a pain...¡± I grumble.

    ¡°Well, if half of it''s true, that still makes you a hell of a guy,¡± Bro chuckles.

    ¡°I doubt any of the rumors are true at this point,¡± I grouch. Can''t I just eat in peace?

    ¡°Really? Everyone I talked to was so sure of them, I even heard someone saw you boning Leona Vicca in the infirmary earlier.¡±

    ¡°Haah?!¡± I gasp, suddenly very awake, and very red. Why do guys have to say stuff like that?!

    ¡°I take that as a confirmation,¡± he laughs, half turning away.

    ¡°N-no,¡± I immediately deny it. ¡°Damn it, that person who came in,¡± I groan and drop my head on the table. ¡°It figures...¡± After I thump my head against the table in annoyance, I slowly sit back up. ¡°No, it was completely different, but it figures that girl started some stupid rumor like that.¡±

    ¡°Mm? Sounds interesting. What were you two up to then?¡± he asks with a smirk.

    ¡°We...¡± I trail off, then frown. ¡°Actually, I have no idea if I''m allowed to talk about that or not.¡± I should ask Leona at some point... ¡°Anyway, it was something else. Non-sexual. I have no idea why everyone''s always jumping to conclusions like that,¡± I huff.

    ¡°Damn, most guys would love the recognition, getting with the hottest chick around,¡± Bro chuckles. ¡°Why''re you so against it?¡±

    ¡°Why? Because-¡± Why am I against recognition like that? He''s right, even I know that most guys would revel in these rumors, probably use them to get even more girls. Dad even said doing something like that is a man''s dream at some point, didn''t he?

    When I feel the sting behind my eyes, I shake my head. I''m not thinking about him now. ¡°She''s my friend, I don''t want people spreading weird rumors about her. One of my other friends is already dealing with the same thing.¡±

    ¡°That''s... Jenna Corro-san?¡± Of course he knows that one too.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I complain, throwing my hands up. ¡°She''s been like, the best, most helpful friend of all time. Got me through all sorts of shit. And what does she get for it? Rumors that we had sex? Why? Urgh.¡± I take a few more angry chomps of my food as the big guy looks down at me, clearly amused.

    ¡°Sounds like you''ve got it rough, bro,¡± he gives me a playful slap on the shoulder as he laughs.

    But I''m not worried about me. I''m worried about them. Why are guys always saying I''m awesome, or that I''m a stud, or whatever, because what they think happened? Why doesn''t anyone pat Jen on the back for it? Because it''s me? The most pathetic guy of all time? Do they all feel bad for her?

    Practically fuming at myself, I scarf down the remainder of my food, and stand from the table. After I throw my plate and stuff in the cleaner, Bro waves me off for the night, and I head back to my room to sleep.

    It doesn''t come easy though, I''m wrapped up in my worries again. Especially my new one. I''m weak. The one thing I was able to fix about myself, to make me more manly - less vulnerable - has been taken away. I can''t even defend myself anymore.

    What would my parents think?

    I can''t help crying myself to sleep again...

 Chapter 17

    The next morning, I''m settling into my usual spot before class, when Leona comes in. She still looks a bit tired. ¡°Seiko, I''m sorry about yesterday,¡± she sighs as she takes my desk seat. ¡°I went too far, so I''m not in my best form today.¡±

    By that, does she mean she isn''t going to have as much power today? After using so much yesterday? ¡°Come on, let me check you,¡± she sighs, standing with a lot less strength in her posture than normal. But, how is she going to-

    Grabbing my hands, Leona lifts and easily pins me against the window. It''s not as hard as the other time without her powers, but I still can''t resist her at all like I am now. ¡°Struggle,¡± she grunts tiredly.

    ¡°L-l-le-¡± I stammer, whole face flushed and hot, with every eye in the room locking straight onto us. Everyone is watching! Oblivious to the audience, Leona leans in, and I struggle against her grip as commanded. I probably would even if she didn''t tell me to, in a situation like this.

    It''s futile, of course. She doesn''t need her powers at all to keep me locked in place against the thick glass window. When she releases me with a sigh, I want to cry. All that training, and it meant nothing...

    Leona falls back into her seat with a dejected groan, and I finally manage to peel my eyes off everyone around us to see her cradling her head in her hands. ¡°This is bad, I''m sorry Seiko. You have a lot of energy to burn by the end of school.¡±

    ¡°...That bad?¡±

    She doesn''t spare me. ¡°You''re going to have to exert yourself every chance you get.¡±

    ¡°Wonderful...¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, I''m sure you''ll manage...¡± Amari tries to cheer me up with a little smile. We all sit there for a little longer, before Leona groans and gets back up.

    ¡°Well, guess we should get started.¡±

    ¡°W-wait, now?¡± I stammer, before she grabs me again, pushing me back to pin me against the top of Ken''s desk this time, Jen sliding out of the way in a hurry.

    ¡°W-w-wait! Leona!¡± I cry out. Why like this?! As I''m fighting against her grip, a voice comes from behind.

    ¡°What are you two doing?¡± It''s Dolan, our homeroom teacher. He came in while I was flailing in panic, and is looking us over, exasperated. ¡°You aren''t bullying this boy, are you?¡±

    ¡°No, Seiko needs physical exertion,¡± Leona responds flatly.

    ¡°And why is that?¡± His eyebrow is visibly twitching with irritation.

    ¡°That''s confidential.¡± Unbelievably, that''s enough for the teacher to leave us alone?! It doesn''t stop the whole rest of the class from staring dumbfounded at us though. Still, with the teacher calling the class to order, Leona releases me, and I quickly evacuate the seat so Gon can sit down, and return to my own.

    After first period homeroom, Leona immediately pins me again, while I flail and cry out, to the laughter of our classmates.

    Why is it like this?!

    After I thankfully talk some sense into her, she decides to have me run up and down the stairs at the end of the hall. Unfortunately, after she checks me again, that''s no good. Apparently it specifically requires me to try exerting a lot of force, so cardio isn''t helpful.

    Which brings us back to---

    ¡°Whyyyy??!¡± I cry, inevitably pinned on my back again after third period, struggling and straining desperately to get out of this compromising position. Even when Leona apologizes, she absolutely refuses to release me.

    ¡°Don''t worry, Sei, you''ll get through this.¡± After Ken gives me a pat, my friends return, unbelievably, to chatting, as if this is an everyday occurrence. Even my classmates eventually grow accustomed to the sight of me pinned helplessly throughout every break period.

    ¡°Oh god, food, I need food...¡± I groan when lunch arrives. I''ve been half-dead through every class today and my stomach is screaming at me for all the effort I''ve already put in. I''m so helpless now, Ken escorts me down to the cafeteria to protect me. I stick close by his side, buying up a ton of food, then return to our classroom so I can stuff my face until I can''t eat any more, and spend the remainder of the break passed out on the desk.

    By the time we make it to gym, I''m already so worn out, I''m running on fumes. Pretty much everyone in class, the teacher included, watches on with pity in their eyes at this point, as Leona keeps pushing me, until I eventually just collapse completely.

    ¡°I''ll be taking Seiko to the infirmary now,¡± she tells the gawking teacher, once again carrying my listless body, right out of the weight room.

    ¡°What... happened to Maka-san...?¡± the doctor asks flatly when we arrive.

    ¡°Seiko has been working hard all day to burn off energy, so Seiko''s exhausted.¡± After lying me out on the bed, she strips off my soaking wet clothes, and the doctor lifts my head, slowly giving me water for a little while to rehydrate.

    Then Leona climbs on top of me again. ¡°You did a great job today, Seiko,¡± she praises me, petting my head. ¡°I''ll be able to manage today thanks to you.¡± Then she starts charging up, and the air turns heavy and suffocating. I''m practically delirious when she presses her face to mine and I receive another wave of power.

    Thankfully, it''s much, much smaller than yesterday. Leona controlled herself a lot better without an interruption, so hopefully, tomorrow won''t be so horribly exhausting.

    I''m so tired, I wind up drifting off once Leona is done with me. When I wake up, she''s sitting there on my bedside, waiting patiently.

    ¡°Only about an hour, I''m surprised. You''re unexpectedly strong, Seiko.¡±

    ¡°No, I''m not,¡± I sigh. Not right now. I feel so pathetic...

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    Even so, her smile is unexpectedly gentle. ¡°Come on, let''s get you cleaned up.¡± She waves, and when I sit up, I realize the problem. My arms come up around my chest automatically.

    ¡°W-where''s my bra?¡± I stammer, turning in place as I do my best to cover my bare chest.

    ¡°You probably don''t want to wear it right now, it''ll eventually cause some nasty chafing.¡± With those words, she hands it to me from somewhere under the lip of the bed. As soon as it''s in my hand, I feel how damp it is. Even though it''s made almost entirely of elastic, it''s completely soaked through. The same can be said for my gym clothes. Even my school uniform is sweaty and nasty from struggling against Leona in it all day.

    ¡°So... what am I supposed to wear...?¡± deadpan.

    ¡°No worries,¡± the doctor suddenly cuts in, and I look up to see her watching us. That sends my hand I took back my bra with, back to my chest, but she just laughs at me. ¡°It''s not like they''re very large,¡± she jokes.

    Blushing bright red, I retort, ¡°They''re still growing!¡± Then I clap my hands over my mouth. Did I just say that? Out loud?! I shake my head back and forth. ¡°N-no, I don''t mean, I don''t- that''s not...¡±

    ¡°Hey, I''m teasing, I''m teasing,¡± the woman says soothingly, coming over to pat my head, ¡°of course you''re growing. You look perfectly fine.¡±

    But that''s not the point. I don''t care about the size of my breasts, I shouldn''t even have them!

    The doctor drops a uniform in my lap, still sealed in plastic. ¡°Don''t worry so much. Here''s a spare.¡± If you''re going to keep this up, I suggest you bring an extra change of clothes with you.¡±

    While I''m bowing my head in gratitude and shame, Leona gathers up my other clothing. ¡°Here, put on your gym clothes. The showers are free now. Then you can put on the fresh uniform.

    I sigh and go along with it. Even so, slipping into my disgusting, sweaty gym shirt makes my skin crawl. It''s somewhat prickly against my skin from the salt in my sweat that started to dry into the fabric. God, I really need to wash this...

    My jacket goes over top to keep the ridiculously revealing shirt covered up. Then I pull on my pants, which aren''t much better.

    ¡°Come on, let''s get to the showers, I feel disgusting...¡± I complain, and we head out. The infirmary is right near the gym, since that''s where people get injured most, so it''s a quick trip over. After some discussion, Leona enters the girl''s shower room ahead of me to ensure it''s empty, then pulls me in after her. Again, it would be really bad to meet anyone in the men''s shower, and Leona hanging out around there would be too suspicious.

    So with her keeping watch nearby, I fling off the nasty gym clothes, tie my hair back with a hair tie, and finally get myself clean with some hot running water and a little soap left in the shower room.

    I feel human again...

    Keeping things quick, I get back out, rapidly towel off, and rip open the spare uniform from the doctor.

    Uhhh, what? Why is this the girl''s uniform? Shit! Biting my lip, I look back and forth between it and my discarded gym clothes. Then my bag that has my uniform in it. Cursing to myself, I pull on the girl''s top, then grab my pants out of my bag. They''re nasty, but not as bad as my gym pants. The girls'' uniform skirt is absolutely out of the question. What if someone saw me?!

    As soon as the extra clothes are stuffed into my bag, I lean out of the shower room and quietly get Leona''s attention. As soon as she sees me, she shows an odd, wavering smile.

    ¡°Come on, what else was I supposed to do?! We have to go back to the infirmary!¡± I can''t go back to the dorm like this. After saying as much, we sneak the short distance back, careful not to get spotted.

    As soon as we go inside, we stop dead. There''s already someone in the infirmary. What do we do?! When the girl turns back and spots me, her lips curl up and she starts laughing.

    ¡°Maka-san, what are you wearing?¡± I don''t recognize the girl, but of course she knows me. Her blue ribbon marks her as someone in our grade...

    Trying to control my flushed face, I address the doctor. ¡°Doctor, this is a girl''s uniform, I can''t wear this.¡±

    With a glance to the girl standing between us, she responds, ¡°Do you think I have spare men''s uniforms in your size?¡± Now that she mentions it, even the girls'' top she gave me is a bit big...

    ¡°W-well, I don''t care if it''s too big, as long as it''s something I can actually wear...¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine, so picky...¡± she gripes playfully, waving a hand and going over to a cabinet to draw out another plastic-wrapped uniform. She tosses it to me, already turning to the girl who was here before us. ¡°So, Rekka-chan, what was it again?¡±

    While they talk about sleep trouble or something, I move next to one of the rest beds and pull the curtain closed, then quickly change into the new uniform she gave me.

    ¡°Ugh, what...?¡± I mutter as soon as I''m in it. The thing is like... at least ten sizes too big. I feel like I''m wearing curtains or something. The jacket is so long it goes down past my knees. The pants literally don''t stay on at all. I have to take my belt and basically just strap the waist to my body. The shirt is falling off both shoulders too. I''m swimming in these clothes.

    When I step back out, glaring at the world, the girl, Rekka, breaks out laughing again, and even the other two can''t help but grin at my appearance. ¡°I''m tired, I''m going back!¡± I call out, and tromp out of the room. I try to proceed the same way across campus, but I don''t even make it halfway before the energy from my nap runs out. I''m rapidly losing forward momentum when the dorm begins to come into sight.

    ¡°Come on, Seiko,¡± Leona sighs, sweeping up behind me as my pace falls. She picks me up in the usual, embarrassing princess carry, and heads back to the dorm. Despite my protests and though she doesn''t seem to be at her best, she carries me right inside, up the stairs, and to my room. She sets me down, and we wave each other goodbye for the day, before I stumble through the door, straight into bed again.

    The night ends up being a repeat of yesterday, with me waking up past midnight to actually take care of myself, and thankfully remember to do my homework this time, before climbing back into bed.

    As soon as I do, my thoughts trail back over the day, and I''m crying again. Leona is one thing, pinning me like that, but what if it was anyone else? Would I have stood any better chance? And thanks to doctor Belinda, I wore girl clothes! And I got laughed at for it!

    Of course I would get laughed at. Who wouldn''t laugh at a guy wearing clothes like that...? Dad would disown me on sight... Mom would probably cry...

    I''m such a disappointment...

    <hr>

    The rest of the week passes similarly. Leona pinning me, struggling and helpless, every chance she gets to burn off enough energy so that she can check me at the end of the day. I''m constantly tired and all my muscles are sore, and I keep feeling more and more like a small, helpless girl.

    Surprisingly though, it feels like I''m actually getting stronger. It makes no difference against Leona, but I''m quickly able to lift heavier weights, a lot like when I first started lifting as a kid. Even weakened like this, I guess I can still get a little stronger...

    The days all end with me drenched in sweat, so I take a quick shower in the girls'' shower room with Leona watching for trouble, then change into the extra uniform I brought with me, and head back to the dorm to collapse.

    Thankfully, I''m burning down enough energy each day, that I outpace how much Leona has to add back. I''m blearily lifting weights on Friday, when Leona checks me again, then tells me to stop.

    ¡°Stop?¡± I ask stupidly. What does that mean again...?

    ¡°You''ve finally burned off a sufficient amount of energy.¡± She grins just a little. ¡°You only have a little left, so you should stop now.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    I flop onto my back and pant. I... made it? I don''t need to work desperately at every opportunity anymore...?

    ¡°Good job, Seiko. You can rest now.¡± I end up falling asleep right there, out of relief.

 Chapter 18

    -Point of View: Kentan Yono-

    It''s Saturday again, the weekend. I practically have to carry Sei out of our room, down to meet everyone out front of the dorm building. I toss him into Jen''s lap so he can loll sleepily and she can play with his hair.

    Everyone gathers up, even Vicca without needing Sei to call her, and to my surprise, Runa comes too. I share a look with Jen and she flashes me a smile. She isn''t actually trying to set us up, is she? I wouldn''t be opposed, Runa''s great. I just wonder if she''s interested? How do I ask?

    Like most things in life, being direct and honest is probably best. I should just ask her today. If she says no, then that''s that. I''ll never know without asking.

    Once we''re all together, we chat for a bit, and it sounds like we''re heading back to Jostole to hang out. It''s not too long before we get going.

    We all board the shuttle and Jen nudges me to sit next to Runa, squished in between all the other students on their way to the mall. We''re pressed right up against each other, but all we can do is share an awkward smile.

    ¡°So...¡± Runa starts.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Come on, play it cool...

    ¡°Umm...¡± her eyes wander across the packed space, like she''s searching for something. They end up landing on Sei and Vicca, where she has him pinned against the opposite side of the shuttle.

    ¡°Those two, are they... dating or something?¡±

    ¡°Well, no...¡±

    ¡°Then what are they up to?¡±

    ¡°That''s, uhh, complicated...¡± Don''t they have any idea how suggestive that looks to everyone around them? Even as I wonder, my head''s sticking on that last thing she said. Dating...

    ¡°But, Runa-chan, about dating...¡± she already brought it up! ¡°Should we?¡± Did that really just slip out like that?

    Runa''s staring at me, mouth open, but hasn''t responded.

    ¡°Date, I mean?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Because, you know, you''re really pretty, and I uhh, like you and, well, uhh...¡± Shit, I''m failing so hard! Why am I still talking?!

    ¡°...S-sure...¡± She said yes?! ¡°I mean... we''ve known each other a while and you''ve always been pretty cool, so...¡± She glances away with the cutest blush spreading over her cheeks.

    We sit there in silence for a bit, the whole shuttle full of noisy people all around us, but it feels like we''re in our own little bubble.

    ¡°So, uhh, I guess... We''re going out now?¡± I ask. ¡°What- I mean, what do we actually do? Like... as a couple?¡±

    ¡°Umm, I don''t really know,¡± she giggles. ¡°What do couples do?¡± The first thing that comes to mind is kissing, but there''s no way I''m bringing that up all of a sudden!

    ¡°Well, couples go on dates...¡± I try, ¡°and we''re already going out together, so do we call this a date?¡±

    Runa covers her mouth as she giggles nervously. ¡°I don''t know, aren''t dates supposed to be, you know, just us?¡±

    ¡°Haha, I guess you''re right,¡± I grin and scratch a hand up through my hair. For now, we don''t really know what to do, so we just sit together. It feels different though, like I''m more aware of her soft shoulder pressed against my side.

    Everyone piles off the shuttle at the mall, and at first, Runa moves to follow, before I grab her hand and remind her we''re heading to a different stop.

    ¡°Oh, right, Jostole?¡± she asks, and I nod. There''s a moment''s pause during which I become acutely aware that I''m still holding her hand. She does too, and we both stare at our hands, before snapping them back, like we''re afraid the other will bite.

    God, what am I doing? I shake my head, and extend my hand again. Still blushing, she takes it, and we share a smile.

    ¡°Awwww.¡± We both freeze when Jen makes a fuss, coming up to grin at us. ¡°So, you two are a thing now?¡±

    ¡°W-well... Yeah.¡± I puff my chest out proudly. I should be proud, I have my first girlfriend! ¡°Isn''t that right... Runa?¡±

    She lights up, red from ear to ear. ¡°Y-yeah... Kentan...¡± I go just as red. Oh god, it''s embarrassing referring to each other like this!

    Of course, Jen just keeps snickering at us. ¡°Well, what about you?¡± I challenge her, ¡°any boyfriend targets?¡±

    ¡°Mmm... Not many guys around to choose from...¡±

    ¡°What about Sei-kun?¡± Runa suddenly asks. ¡°I know there were those rumors, but it''s not like that should stop you from actually going out.¡±

    ¡°Aaahhhh, that''s....¡± Jen immediately scratches her head uncomfortably, glancing over in his direction, still pinned and helpless. It looks like he''s about to cry...

    ¡°Oh! If he''s already with Vicca-san, even if they aren''t dating yet...¡± Runa instantly tries to back off when she sees Jen hesitate.

    ¡°No no, it''s not like that. It''s just... complicated.¡±

    ¡°Kentan said the same thing.¡± Runa shows a cute pout, and we both share an awkward look. Is this really the time to tell her? Wait, actually-

    Just as I''m realizing the problem, Jen leans close to whisper in my ear.

    ¡°Shit, I didn''t think this through, what do we do when we get to the cafe?¡± Because Sei''s been using the women''s changing room, right.

    ¡°He could use the guy''s room?¡± I whisper back. When she gives me the stink-eye for my suggestion, I add, ¡°We change in the same room every day.¡±

    ¡°What if someone else sees?¡± she hisses back. Then she shakes her head, denying my suggestion. ¡°Let''s just say ''not now, later.'' Sei''s been looking more comfortable lately and I don''t want to mess that up now.¡±

    I still have some serious doubts about all of this. Jen seems so sure that Sei is really a girl, and I''ve seen some of the stuff she''s mentioned, but I''ve been the one watching him cry himself to sleep for weeks now, ever since he changed. Why would he do that if he doesn''t hate what happened to him?

    Even listening to her talk to his parents on the phone, they clearly said they wanted him to grow into the best man he could be. Sei always said so too. Wouldn''t being put in a body like that be absolute torture for a guy like him? I know it would be for me...

    I consider all that for a few seconds, her proposal hanging between us. Whether she''s right or wrong, helping Sei be comfortable and happy is good either way. I guess I''ll go along with it.

    I return to normal volume. ¡°Fine, I''ll tell Runa, you let Sei know.¡±

    ¡°You got it.¡±

    She moves over to them and I look down to my new girlfriend.

    ¡°So... tell me what?¡± she asks expectantly.

    ¡°Well, we''re trying to keep things easy for Sei today, so we''ll tell you the whole thing later tonight, alright?¡±

    ¡°Ok, that''s fine,¡± she agrees easily enough.

    ¡°So for now, just know that some stuff is going on with Sei. If you see anything obviously weird, like, you know,¡± and I gesture over to where the military psion has him pinned against a window as we speak.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± she murmurs.

    ¡°If you see anything, please just look the other way and ignore it. It''ll all make sense later.¡±

    ¡°Ok, I''ll do that,¡± she agrees.

    ¡°Thanks a lot, Runa.¡± She''s always been pretty awesome like that.

    We all sit back, and make it the rest of the way to Jostole.

    ¡°So, another movie, or...?¡± Lucy asks the whole group as we gather up.

    ¡°How about the arcade?¡± Amari suggests, ¡°we haven''t been there in a while.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, arcades are fun,¡± Jen chirps. Without much more discussion, we head off that way.

    ¡°Have you ever played arcade games before?¡± I ask Runa when we arrive and everyone immediately charges off in different directions. I used to go with Sei and Jen sometimes, but never had a chance with Runa.

    ¡°Yeah, some, with some friends.¡±

    Nervously taking her hand again, I lead her in. ¡°So, what do you like to play?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡±

    We all romp though the arcade for a few hours, hitting up different kinds of games. A shooter and a racing game that Runa''s surprisingly good at, and this dance game she''s surprisingly bad at.

    She even pulls me into a photo booth, saying, ¡°We need a picture to commemorate our first date.¡±

    ¡°I thought it wasn''t a date,¡± I joke.

    ¡°We''re alone now, aren''t we?¡±

    She''s dead on, and we both start laughing together. Then she plays with the screen on the photo machine, and we wind up getting a whole slew of silly pictures sent to our mobiles, all warped and strange, or with fancy stickers all over our faces. Neither of us can stop laughing until we''re finished, and head off to goof around more.

    By the time lunchtime rolls around, everyone is in high spirits, even Sei, despite looking half-dead from Vicca putting him through the wringer again today. When we ask, she says he''s done for today and can rest now. He gives a tired thumbs up.

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    ¡°I beat my old high score in Dance Evolution Dance!¡± Lucy boasts as we all walk to the cafe, followed by more reports here and there about various games people enjoyed.

    Apparently, Vicca made Sei do the sledgehammer strength game repeatedly until he ran out of energy ¨C that one where you hit the thing at the bottom and it rates you based on how hard you hit it. ¡°Two hundred points,¡± he groans. ¡°My best score was only two hundred points.¡±

    ¡°Hey, that''s not bad at all!¡± I try to encourage him. ¡°I only hit like three hundred points on it.¡±

    He just sighs. I don''t get it, isn''t that a good score? For his size, with his tiny arms, and even his body is female now... I''m actually pretty impressed. Maybe it''s all the working out Vicca''s been putting him through?

    Soon after, we get to the cafe. Being her first time, Runa looks around in wonder. ¡°Food first, I''m starving,¡± Sei speaks up immediately when we consider where to start.

    Once we''re all seated, I order a sandwich like last time. After a few weeks of attempting to cook for myself, I''m more and more grateful for meals made by people who actually know what they''re doing.

    Of course, the girls get parfaits, while Vicca decides on a meatball sub, of all things.

    And Sei gets... pancakes? For lunch? Well, if that''s what he wants I won''t question it.

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I nod through my mouthful of food once it arrives. Yeah, this and some soda really hits the spot. ¡°How is it?¡± I ask Runa as she munches happily on spoonfuls of ice cream and fruit.

    ¡°Delicious...¡± she sighs, a hand pressed to her cheek in joy. She''s so cute!

    Then Vicca has to restrain Sei when his small stack of pancakes arrive and he nearly shoves his face into the plate.

    ¡°Like a human this time, Seiko,¡± she chides him for some reason. When she catches all our questioning looks, she explains.

    ¡°When I took Seiko to central, we went out for burgers and Seiko inhaled half of it. Got grease everywhere and needed to go to the toilet to wash up.¡±

    ¡°Pshh,¡± we all leak out small laughs at the ridiculous story.

    ¡°Seriously, what are you even doing, Sei?¡± I shake my head and have to set down my sandwich.

    ¡°I-I''m sorry!¡± he stammers, already bright red in the face. ¡°I hadn''t eaten in three days!¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Wait, what do you mean, three days?¡± I ask. Not getting it. He only went over to psi-ops for like three days. Don''t tell me they didn''t feed him the entire time?!

    ¡°Ah, wait, sorry,¡± Sei immediately backtracks. ¡°That''s right, it only felt like three days, it was just a few hours, wasn''t it?¡± Oh, he''s talking about that whole time stretching thing they mentioned, that made it feel way longer to him.

    ¡°W-well still!¡± he suddenly exclaims, ¡°it felt like a long time and I was really hungry! Hmph!¡± When he crosses his arms in a huff, all I can think is, ''don''t do that, it''s way too cute,'' and sigh in my head. He really does act like a girl sometimes, doesn''t he?

    Vicca ends up patting him and apologizing a few times since apparently it was her fault that happened, before Sei gets back to devouring his pancakes.

    When he''s done, he still winds up getting syrup on his cheeks and nose, and quickly excuses himself to get washed up anyway. No one can keep in their laughter after hearing Vicca''s story. I wish she''d taken a picture, I would have loved to see Sei all messy like that.

    When he comes back, he eyes the girls'' half-eaten parfaits, then actually orders one for himself.

    ¡°You''re still eating?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Yeah, those pancakes weren''t actually that big.¡± I shrug at his reasoning. That''s understandable. ¡°And parfaits always look so good...¡± he mumbles out after, glancing away.

    I can''t help but grin. He gets to use his current looks to eat something girly like that without anyone making fun of him.

    Wait, didn''t that happen sometime back in grade school? Back when he never let anyone touch him? I definitely remember he got a parfait at some point when we were kids, but a bunch of bullies knocked it off the table and made fun of him, and when his dad saw him crying over it, he berated Sei over the crying and the girly parfait.

    That''s... not a good memory. As I watch the waitress in a dog costume arrive with the treat, I hope that Sei doesn''t remember that anymore.

    Thankfully, there''s no darkness in his expression as he smiles and digs in.

    ¡°Hey, don''t eat too much or you''ll get fat,¡± Jen jeers playfully.

    ¡°Not a chance with Leona around,¡± he retorts without missing a beat. That has Lucy and Amari in a fit of giggles, Lucy elbowing Jen. Even Runa joins in, laughing at everyone''s antics, and I wrap one arm around her narrow shoulders, holding her close to my side.

    I grin, glad Sei can finally eat what he wants without anyone giving him shit for it.

    We finish up soon after, though it turns out Sei''s smaller stomach isn''t quite enough for the whole parfait after all. He pouts about it a little, until Vicca swoops in and finishes it off. She actually shows an uncharacteristically surprised face as she mumbles about it being really good. So even she isn''t immune to the draw of sweets, huh?

    Once we''re done there, we all head over to the cosplay side of the cafe, and I give Runa a quick explanation while everyone else goes on ahead.

    ¡°Hah, so do you like getting all dressed up?¡± she asks with a little smirk.

    ¡°Yeah, they have some awesome outfits. Just watch, I''ll show you my cool side,¡± I claim.

    ¡°I''m looking forward to it,¡± she smiles up at me. ¡°I''m going to look for something cute.¡±

    ¡°Cool.¡± She trots off toward the racks of costumes, and I head to another section with much larger ones that will fit me.

    Like that, we play around for a while. I try a few different warrior costumes, one with an enormous prop sword, and everyone claps and takes pictures. Runa comes out in a poofy princess gown, blushing ear to ear and asks if it makes her look silly.

    ¡°On the contrary, ma''am,¡± I start, trying to sound as suave as possible, then, ¡°ya look fuckin'' hot.¡± We both lean into each other, holding our sides and laughing.

    Lucy and Amari look like they''re in a competition, continuously one-upping each other with ever more over the top outfits.

    Vicca goes through a handful styled after military uniforms, making a few remarks on how accurate, or in some cases, absurdly in inaccurate, some of them are.

    As for Sei and Jen, she manages to coax him into progressively less masculine outfits by repeatedly wearing the same outfit so they match. They both laugh and joke around about it, and Sei even looks pretty comfortable after the first couple.

    Then, Jen pulls one off rack that is not at all neutral.

    It looks like two pieces, a dark blue top, with a long white skirt. ¡°Woah, this one is so pretty,¡± she exclaims, looking it up and down. She turns to Sei, a couple steps away, fidgeting with his hands. ¡°Do you want to try this one?¡± she asks lightly.

    ¡°W-well, umm...¡±

    He''s clearly on the edge, but I think he''s about to deny it, before Jen laughs and says, ¡°Let''s give it a shot then. Just tell me if it''s no good.¡±

    Without further argument, she pushes Sei through the door into the women''s changing room. I''m a bit worried, is this really a good idea...? What if he really hates it and she''s pushing too hard?

    I glance over at the others still mingling and chatting among the clothes, and move a little closer to the changing room, before they come back out a couple minutes later.

    Sei is... woah. Even as his best friend, I have to admit he''s beautiful. The dark blue top has this serious businesswoman feel to it with buttons down the front and the way it''s tucked into the skirt all the way up at his waist. Then the white skirt falls to his knees, cut shorter in the front and longer in the back, with frills all along the bottom.

    It has this mature beauty that I''ve only seen on older women, like Vicca when she dresses casually, but on Sei, who''s so small and cute, it gives a completely different feel.

    All I can do is stare as I watch Jen push him out of the changing room, holding him gently by the shoulders to bring him in front of the large mirror, while continuously assuring him it looks really good.

    Then they stop and turn. Sei''s back is to me, but I can see him clearly in the mirror. I take a few slow steps forward, gaze fixed on Sei''s reflection.

    He looks at himself, eyes trailing slowly up and down as a vague wonder crosses his face. Then he smiles. A shocked, euphoric smile like I''ve never seen, tears welling in the corners of his eyes.

    That is not the face of a man in a dress.

    Holy shit, Jen was right.

    ¡°Look, it''s a good size too,¡± Jen is saying when they finally notice me approaching in the mirror and turn back to see me.

    I catch the fear in Sei''s eyes. That fear of rejection. Of being made fun of for being weird, or being wrong.

    I lean down and smile. ¡°Hey, you''re really pretty, Sei. It suits you.¡± A couple tears leak out, so I wipe them away, and grin a little more. Let her know we''re still best friends. Always.

    Sei turns back to the mirror, fumbling to pull out her mobile with shaky hands. Still with that same teary, wonderful smile, she snaps a picture of the three of us, together.

    As she swipes over to look at the picture with a big, dumb grin on her face, the mobile rings.

    It only shows up for a moment, the caller coming up over the camera app, right when Sei swipes, and the call connects.

    Just from the first note, I recognize the ringtone, Sei''s parents. Sei stares at the mobile for a moment, too shocked to respond.

    Then her dad''s voice comes over the line like a shout, loud enough to be audible from where I''m standing behind her.

    ¡°Hey, Sei. How ya doin'', son?¡±

    Staring at the girl in the mirror, I watch her heart break.

    The mobile drops to the floor as she goes tearing from the room.

    ¡°Shit!¡± Jen runs after her. Hands shaking, I pick up the mobile. For an instant, I want to scream at this man for what he''s put Sei through. I understand every bit of Jen''s rage after speaking with him two weeks ago.

    But I can''t. I know how important Sei''s parents are to her. I can''t tell them.

    So I choke it all down.

    ¡°Oh, hey, Maka-san, you just missed Sei.¡± Everything but my voice is shaking.

    ¡°Kentan-kun? Where''s Sei?¡±

    ¡°Shhheeoot,¡± I deflect, badly. ¡°He just ran for the toilet, might have eaten something bad.¡±

    He sighs. ¡°Figures, boy needs to bulk up, then he wouldn''t get the shits so easy. When I was back in the army, they would-¡± I stop listening. I can''t take hearing him talk about Sei like that. Not now.

    When the drone of his words finally stops, I fume into the phone. ¡°Sorry, have to go I''ll tell him you called bye,¡± and I hang up.

    Then I press my face into my hands, squat down, and clench my teeth so hard my jaw creaks, to keep from screaming in the middle of the store.

    Eventually, when I think I can control myself, I stand up again.

    Of course by this point, everyone is standing nearby, waiting expectantly. I turn to them, choking down the angry tears that want to force themselves from my eyes. All I can say is, ¡°Sei is a girl. Definitely.¡± I toss them the mobile, the picture still open, Sei''s brief moment of acceptance recorded right there. ¡°Then her dad called.¡±

    I don''t say anything more. I walk over to the changing room and knock on the door. ¡°You guys good in there?¡± There''s a muffled ''yeah'' and ''just a minute,'' from Jen, and soon after they come out. Sei trails behind, face to the floor like the life has been sucked out of her.

    ¡°Come on guys, let''s get back,¡± I say as we walk back past our shocked friends. ¡°I think we have a lot to talk about.¡±

    As we go, Lucy assures the hostess that we''re fine after she catches our dismal mood on the way out. She says we just had a bit of a family issue and we''ll be back again another time. Then we get on the shuttle. I hold Runa''s hand while Sei buries her head in Jen''s lap, and we explain how things are and catch Runa up on everything.

    I follow Jen''s example though, and so does everyone else. We all refer to Sei as ''he'' out loud for now, to avoid pushing her when she''s already so hurt.

    It''s only after that, as we''re approaching the school, that we finally ask.

    ¡°Sei, would you like us to call you ''she'' now?¡±

    She stares at me from Jen''s lap, mouth moving like she doesn''t know what to say. ¡°Only when we''re alone, of course. We know you need to hide it at school.¡±

    ¡°I... don''t know...¡±

    ¡°Alright, let''s put it this way,¡± Jen comes in. She pins Sei''s face between her hands and the two lock gazes. ¡°Forget the past. Forget the bullies. Forget school. Forget your parents. Forget us.¡± They continue staring into each other''s eyes, Sei''s breath shallow.

    ¡°If you had the choice, and nothing else mattered, which would you choose?¡±

    There''s a long stretch of silence, nothing but our breath. We''re almost to the school though, Sei needs to answer, before the moment is gone.

    ¡°...Girl...¡± The word passes her trembling lips, barely above a whisper. Then we pull to a stop, hardly a few seconds later, and the tension is broken as we''re all forced to depart.

    Once we''re off the shuttle though, we all stand in the terminal. I hook an arm around Runa, while Sei stands with her head down. Once we look around, determining we''re alone, Jen walks over. ¡°Come on, girl, let it out.¡± She hugs Sei''s head to her chest, and lets her weep quietly for a while. Jen pats her back and strokes her hair. She makes a few soothing comments, but she mostly just lets Sei cry.

    Shortly after, Jen and Vicca wave us off, saying that they''ll deal with Sei for today, and we all go.

 Chapter 19

    -Point of View: Seiko Maka-

    ¡°So, that''s how it is...¡± Doctor Belinda rubs her chin after Jen finishes explaining things. ¡°I guess it''s Maka-chan now?¡±

    ¡°I... I guess...¡± I mumble, still staring at the floor, my pounding anxiety not allowing anything else. Why is everyone so... so fine with this? Isn''t it weird? I told them I want to be a girl. Isn''t that disgusting? No one''s even shouted at me. They told me I''m pretty. If it was Dad...

    My shoulders shake, more tears and whimpers overflowing. I can''t believe I wore that earlier. I can''t believe how right it felt. I answered the phone dressed like that. What if he knew? Would he even stop at disowning me? If he wanted to hurt me for being like this, I wouldn''t even be able to stop him anymore.

    He always said I was supposed to be a strong man. He always said it ¨C I thought that''s what I wanted. Was I lying to myself? Telling myself I wanted what he wanted? Even though my heart was always telling me that was wrong?

    Is that why no matter how much I tried, I couldn''t actually do what he wanted? Every time he told me to man up and I had no idea what he was talking about? Because deep down, I''ve always just... been a girl?

    How could that be possible? Up until I month ago, I was definitely a guy. Too small and an extremely late bloomer, but definitely still male.

    Then... my soul? Like they told me at psi-ops, did I have a female soul before my energy pathways got messed up? What if I did? What would it mean? That I''ve been in the wrong body my entire life?

    And... what if I didn''t?

    What if all of this is just me running away from what I should be because I''m too weak?

    What if feeling like a girl only feels good because I haven''t failed at that yet?

    I have my face pressed tight to my knees, totally overwhelmed by my fears and doubts, when Jen hugs me again, stroking my hair from behind.

    ¡°Shh, don''t worry, Seiko, everything will be fine,¡± she whispers. ¡°We''re all here for you.¡±

    ¡°But... why...?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± she prompts me softly.

    ¡°Why are you here for me? I said I want to be a girl.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and?¡± Doesn''t she get it?

    ¡°I... It''s just- It''s wrong. It''s bad. I''m horrible and disgusting for wanting it...¡±

    ¡°Wha- no! Seiko, no!¡± Her arms squeeze tight before she spins me around to grab my face. ¡°There is nothing wrong with you! Wanting to be a girl is not bad. It''s not wrong. The things you want are perfectly fine and I''ll fight anyone who says otherwise!¡±

    I stare with wide eyes. How can she say that? That it''s fine? How could it be fine? I don''t understand... My hands clench at Jen''s shirt, and I bury my crying face in her chest. I don''t know what to do with these feelings, so I keep crying them all out, until I''m drained and tired. Then I snooze on the bed, the voices of the women drifting past for a while, until Leona shakes me lightly to rouse me.

    She takes some time for my daily check, then sits me down again. I''m still sullen, not knowing what to do with myself, when the doctor sits down beside me. She leaves a space between us, turning to watch me for a few long moments, before she speaks.

    ¡°Maka-chan. It seems you have a lot of mixed up thoughts and feelings on this, and some very deeply ingrained biases you may not be entirely aware of. For now, I believe the best course of action for you is to try and keep your prior notions out of this.¡± I gulp nervously. She''s saying that I''m not thinking about this right? Is that it?

    ¡°For now, forget right and wrong. Just focus on what''s in front of you, what you are experiencing right now. There''s no rush, take time to explore yourself and your feelings. Whatever you discover, no one can judge you for it. Alright?¡±

    I slowly digest her words, before nodding. ¡°I''ll try...¡±

    The doctor gives me a light pat on the head. ¡°Good.¡± Then she returns to her office chair.

    So... no matter what I think is right or wrong, or what others'' opinions might be, I should try to figure out what I like? Even considering that makes me incredibly self-conscious. The thought of just... doing whatever I want even if it''s wrong, surrounded by all the hate and insults on all sides for doing those things. Can I really just ignore things like that? Would I be able to? What if I get bullied again?

    ...What if it''s physical...?

    ¡°U-umm, what if I get bullied?¡±

    Leona''s answer comes instantly. ¡°I won''t let them.¡±

    Even so... ¡°Is it alright if I just... do it in private? Try to like, figure things out without everyone watching me...?¡±

    ¡°Of course, Maka-chan,¡± the doctor answers. ¡°If that makes you more comfortable, go right ahead. If you''d rather be more private or public about it, that''s entirely up to you. Though...¡± she puts a finger to her chin in thought. ¡°Actually, if you do decide to present yourself as female in public at school, you should let me know beforehand so we can inform the school administration and go through the process officially.¡±

    ¡°R-right...¡± Just the thought of that - of going to school as a girl - makes my heart race with horror and disgust-

    No.

    This is what she was just talking about. Am I disgusted, or am I excited? I stare down at my hands in mild shock when I catch myself- that immediate, trained reaction of mine. Have all of my feelings about this been colored by... what, my past, from the bullying? This rush, is it supposed to be a good feeling?

    I keep my head down, trembling slightly. Confused by the mix of feelings swirling around inside me. They''re right. I need time. I need to work things out. Figure out my own feelings about these things. My feelings, not the ones that have been instilled in me without me even realizing it, ever since I was a child.

    ¡°Ok...¡± I speak slowly to keep myself together. ¡°I have a lot to think about. Can I head back for today?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± the doctor excuses me.

    ¡°Yeah, let''s get going, Seiko.¡± Jen takes my hand, Leona leading the way out of the office, and back to the dorm. When I think we''re going to split up at the front, they continue inside with me, and escort me all the way back to my dorm room.

    After we say our goodbyes, I go inside and flop down in bed. No Ken right now, so it''s just me, lying on my back in silence and staring up at the ceiling. I''m so worn out emotionally, I end up falling asleep like that, not waking up until a few hours later.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Slowly sitting up, I rub my eyes. Looks like Ken is still out.

    I... think I feel a little bit better. The sleep helped. ¡°So...¡± I mumble to the empty room, ¡°what do I do now?¡± I''m supposed to explore. Figure out who I am and what I feel. How do I do that? I don''t know... I''m so completely lost at the thought, before I think better of it-

    I grab my mobile and call home.

    ¡°Oh, Seiko, it''s good to hear from you,¡± comes Mom''s voice as soon as she picks up. I''m paralyzed for an instant as the anxiety hits late. What if it had been Dad?

    ¡°Yeah, you too, Mom.¡±

    ¡°Is there something wrong, honey?¡± she asks. Leave it to Mom, of course she tell just from the tone of my voice...

    ¡°Nah, just a rough day,¡± I try to play it off like a guy would. ¡°Dad called earlier, I wanted to call back.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I heard. Food poisoning?¡± Food poisoning? What, is that the excuse they gave Dad? ¡°You have to be more careful with what you eat. Even if others say cooking isn''t manly, you should learn to do it right anyway. No woman wants a man who can''t even feed himself,¡± she lectures me, and my heart drops through my stomach.

    Is this how I always felt, talking to them? It was, wasn''t it? Every time they told me how a man should or shouldn''t act...

    ¡°Yeah, that''s a good idea, thanks a lot, Mom,¡± I thank her anyway. Now that I''ve decided to explore, why not try cooking? Like she said, male or female, it''s just a good thing to learn...

    ¡°Good good, you do that, Seiko. Now, should I get your father?¡±

    ¡°N-no!¡± I immediately reign in my panic. ¡°No. I''m good, just wanted to call you guys back. Tell Dad I love him?¡± I can''t talk to him now. My heart couldn''t take it.

    ¡°Sure.¡± The skeptical note is clear in her voice, but she doesn''t press me. ¡°Love you, sweetie, have a nice time at school.¡±

    We say our goodbyes, and hang up. Then I flop my arm down on my bed, mobile held loosely in my fingers. Eventually, I roll over on my front, but wince a little. Lying down on my boobs is surprisingly uncomfortable. So, I roll onto my back again.

    ¡°Haaa...¡± I sigh out. Then I get up and grab my school bag, I take some time to do my homework. Get that out of the way and take my mind off of everything for a bit. It helps me to refocus when I finish and lie down again.

    ¡°Alright, I decided to learn to cook, so let''s see...¡± I don''t feel like messing with my mobile''s small screen, so get up once more. I sit at my computer, pull up a browser, and try searching for how to cook. No reason why I can''t learn this the same was as studying school stuff, right?

    I click through explanations on different topics. Some theory, some practical stuff, simple recipes to see how it''s applied...

    I''m only at it for an hour or so before I sit back. Between my reading and the bit of experience I have from attempting to cook these last couple weeks, I think I have a decent enough basic understanding. All that''s left is to give it a shot.

    Mobile in hand, I walk out into the common room, trying to ignore the glances of all the guys hanging out on their day off. It''s getting later in the day, but not quite time for dinner yet, so I draw more than a few raised eyebrows when I go rummaging through stuff in the kitchen area.

    Hmm, there are various meats and vegetables, some spices... We have a stove top, oven, microwave, all the normal appliances from back home. When I look around a little more, there''s even a rice cooker and a blender shoved into the corner.

    After searching through some supposedly simple recipes, which all have like a half dozen ingredients that need to get cut and prepared in different ways, with half hour cook times for some reason... I think back to when I was a kid instead. What dead simple stuff did Mom make me back then?

    Thinking that, I grab some bread. I carefully tear out the center parts, put the outer part in a pan, then get a carton of eggs.

    This part... could be tricky. Mom always cracked the eggs on the edge of the pan, but I''m already imagining all the ways that could go wrong, so I get a small and most importantly, non-sharp, butter knife instead.

    I take a few whacks at it, slowly working my way up in strength until the shell cracks, then hold it over the bread in the pan, carefully try to pull it apart.

    ¡°Shit.¡± Some shell fell in. I manage to fish it out with a spatula, but break the yolk of the egg in the process, which quickly begins leaking all throughout the pan.

    ¡°Hmm...¡± I consider starting over, but it''s... technically still edible? So instead, I press on, setting the pan on the stove and turning it on. I wait briefly as the hidden electric element under the flat top heats up, and soon enough the egg starts to sizzle.

    I don''t know how long to let it cook and I''m trying not to burn my first attempt, so I flip it pretty quickly. Too quickly, as it turns out. The runny egg is everywhere in the pan around the bread.

    I''m not giving up yet. I flip the mess in the pan a few more times as the egg solidifies into a strangely misshapen form, then plate it. ¡°Huh,¡± I mutter to myself as I look at it. Rather than discouraged, I''m surprised I managed to put out something edible on my first try.

    I sit down and take a couple bites. It''s bad, obviously. The egg is rubbery, the yolk is completely cooked hard instead of runny like when Mom made it, and it''s all wrapped weirdly around the piece of bread that''s supposed to be holding it.

    As soon as I stand and push the plate away, a guy walking past asks, ¡°You gonna finish that?¡±

    ¡°Umm, no, do you want it?¡± I respond uncertainly. ¡°It''s not very good.¡±

    ¡°Hah, food''s food,¡± he claims, falling into a stool on the opposite side of the counter and pulling the plate across to him. He downs the thing like he doesn''t even taste it, giving a ''so so'' gesture with his hand.

    Is this... really the level of cooking that satisfies some men...?

    ¡°Well, uhh, I''m going to make some more, so...¡± I start, which puts a big grin on the guy''s face.

    ¡°What, learning to cook?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah... I heard women don''t like men who can''t cook,¡± I try to use what Mom said as an excuse. Despite what the doctor said about ignoring people, it still makes me incredibly anxious. I know what some people would do to me for it...

    ¡°That so?¡± he wonders aloud, like cooking is no concern to him. Well, if he''s fine eating my failure at making eggs, it might not be...

    I turn back to the stove, and repeat the same process a few more times, working to hone my strength for cracking the eggs and my feel of cooking time, until I get it right. I quickly realize that I need to add butter though, when my second attempt starts sticking to the pan, shredding apart, then burns. I have to dump it and wash the whole pan out before I can try again, with the butter this time.

    After that, my work improves steadily, until I''m more or less happy with it. My end result, an egg in a basket, with the yolk still a bit runny, and most of the egg contained within the bread. Like all the others, I take a couple bites to check the taste, and I think it''s alright, if a little bland, before I pass the plate to the first hungry guy walking past. They''ll eat anything, won''t they...?

    I do wonder why the taste is different from what I remember as a kid, so I look up a couple recipes, and see it immediately. Right, I forgot to add salt and pepper. According to my basic research earlier, some salt tends to make pretty much anything more palatable, especially savory food like eggs. Have to keep that in mind better next time.

    With my first foray into cooking complete, I wash up and head back to my room. Staring at the ceiling again, I consider what I learned. However...

    ¡°Wasn''t that kind of pointless?¡± Even if lots of people consider cooking girly, everyone likes good food. Why is cooking girly in the first place? I try searching for that on my mobile, and all I get are some vague answers about hunting and gathering from the distant past on some foreign website.

    But there are a few comments I come across that catch my eye. People talking about how nowadays, thinking cooking is girly is ''sexist.''

    I look up the word, and without a single bit of warning, I fall straight down the rabbit hole.

    Gender norms. Stereotypes. Double standards. Discrimination. Violence toward women. Before I know it, the door swishes open and I practically jump out of my skin.

    My arms flop down lifelessly on the bed at my sides as Ken comes in. ¡°You doing alright, Sei?¡± he asks gently.

    ¡°I...¡± I don''t even know anymore. ¡°Lots to think about.¡±

    ¡°Want to talk about it?¡± he offers, but I shake my head. ¡°Alright, I''ll leave you to it. Just let me know if you change your mind.¡± He lies down in his bed and clicks on the projector, putting some random movie on, while I''m still stuck in my head.

    How did I never know about any of this? I''ve been living through it, but no one ever brought any of it up. Is sexism just something everyone takes for granted? No, not everyone. Some of those posts on foreign message boards, from other people and places around the world, they make me worried. Someone called Laros a ''regressive, shithole country.''

    I never thought about it that way before. Are we all so used to the way things are that we don''t realize what we''re doing? That we all have these biases that rule our thinking because no one ever challenged them before?

    I was supposed to be exploring who I am, but now I have all of this to consider too...

 Chapter 20

    Sunday morning, I call everyone together in our dorm room. I have to tell them about what I discovered. I pull up all the web pages I read through, pointing out different words, explanations for things I took for granted, biases I never knew I had.

    When I''m finished frantically explaining it to everyone, Ken looks shell shocked, but everyone else shrugs.

    ¡°Yeah, that''s about right,¡± Jen says. ¡°I didn''t know we had words like those to describe it, but that''s pretty much how it is. Being a girl is hard.¡± Everyone nods along. All the girls.

    ¡°I... had no idea. Why doesn''t anyone talk about this?¡±

    ¡°I guess it''s just something girls pick up from a young age. Stay in groups, be wary of men. Expect to be objectified and sexualized...¡± Jen lists them off on her fingers one after another. ¡°That''s just how men are, it''s not like we can change it. They''re stronger than us, and you never know when one will get violent, so we have to keep our heads down and look out for each other. The way you grew up, you didn''t pick up on any of that, Seiko?¡±

    I slowly shake my head. ¡°No, it was more like... women, or just, femininity in general was bad. Because I was supposed to be a man, being seen as feminine was bad. People would be disgusted by me and try to hurt me. There''s a word for it...¡± I mumble, looking back to scroll through all the different words I learned. ¡°Misogyny.¡±

    Still staring at the floor, I shudder. ¡°I was constantly put down for anything feminine, so I think I... internalized it. That girls or being a girl were bad. That it would only bring me more pain...¡± Saying it out loud, I don''t even know what to think. I finally have words to express all these feelings, but the more I dig into them, the worse it gets.

    ¡°Did I... really look down on women that much?¡±

    Jen comes forward, hugging me close. ¡°No, don''t say that, Seiko. I wouldn''t have been your friend if you thought that way. From what I''ve seen, you only ever looked down on yourself as a girl. That''s why it was so hard to ease you into feeling comfortable with girly things.¡±

    I smile through my teary eyes. If she says so, I''ll believe her. I don''t want to be a bad person...

    ¡°Now, with that said, there''s something I''ve been holding back, but especially now that you''ve figured all this out, you have to know. Seiko, we have to talk about your father.¡±

    Dad?

    Jen leans back into my pile of plushies, face screwed up like she''s looking for the right words. ¡°Alright, so. I talked to your dad on the phone a few weeks ago when I was trying to figure out why you were so resistant against anything girly, and I basically figured out it was his fault.¡±

    My mouth falls open a little. But, but he always wanted the best for me, didn''t he? He wanted me to be strong and successful.

    ...As a man...

    As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I get a nervous feeling in my gut, before Jen verbalizes it.

    ¡°Every other word out of your father''s mouth is about how men should be, how they should act, how anything else is weakness and failure. Seiko, I know it''s hard to hear, but your father is a dick.¡± I wince. But...

    Her eyes soften, even as she hits me with things wish I never had to hear. ¡°Seiko... all that misogyny you mentioned, I think the bullying reinforced those feelings, but it was your father who put them there, when you were still just a kid. When you didn''t know any better, and everything your parents said, you just...¡± she waves a hand uselessly, ¡°believed it all. Why question it, they''re your parents. You know?¡±

    Damn it... I close my eyes, lowering my head to my knees. I know she''s right. I might have known all along, on some level. But I never wanted to hear it. How can Dad be a bad person...?

    Having talked through all of that, we all naturally find ourselves moving out into the common room for breakfast. I end up pitching in as Runa cooks, keeping myself busy while I try to process things.

    Runa is really good at cooking. She makes a dish with chicken, lemon, and a number of other things she helps me cut to add in before baking it in the oven. I watch carefully and she explains all about it, not just for me, but everyone else too.

    Of course, as we go through this, the small crowd of girls suddenly sitting in the guy''s common room kitchen draws a ton of eyes from everyone sitting around on their Sunday morning.

    The food has to bake for a while, so we all just sit around the kitchen counter and chat about whatever until it''s done. Then it comes out, immediately filling the dorm with the incredible scent of chicken, lemon, and vegetables. There''s enough to go around, and we eat happily, the jealous eyes of the guys in the dorm trained on us.

    Runa takes pity on them, pushing the remainder of the food out for anyone to take once we all have our portions. The food vanishes in an instant, while Runa snuggles up against Ken''s side and he praises her repeatedly for the wonderful meal.

    I beam down at my chicken to keep from staring. Seeing them together ¨C how happy it makes Ken ¨C they''re perfect together.

    I take another bite and savor the taste. With more practice, I should be able to make food like this too. Boy, girl, sexism be damned. Everyone loves good food.

    Eventually, everyone goes their own ways after breakfast. Except Leona of course, who pins me against the wall and forces me to struggle until I''ve burned off a sufficient amount of energy. Then she leaves.

    ¡°Yo, what''s up with that, Sei-san?¡± Finn asks as he comes over to where I''m panting on the floor. Part of me wishes she''d do it in my room rather than out here where everyone''s watching, but that would probably just lead to even worse rumors. ¡°I swear, Vicca-san has you pinned like that every time I see you these days. It doesn''t look like she''s bullying you... some kind of weird kink...?¡±

    ¡°N-no!¡± I blush when he puts it that way. ¡°I can''t really talk about the reason... But it''s nothing weird or sexual!¡± I claim. ¡°I guess... it''s more like I need a specific amount of physical exercise each day, and the simplest method is pushing against an immovable object...¡± I sigh sadly.

    ¡°That''s... weird,¡± he states flatly. I don''t really have any response.

    Once I''ve recovered, I give Finn a wave and head back to my room. I have some chores to take care of. First is laundry...

    I end up staring at my hamper for a minute. The last time I washed my laundry and everyone smelled it, it started all sorts of awful rumors. Now I have all these bras to deal with. I don''t even want to imagine what that would bring about, so I text Jen. She always knows what to do in situations like this.

    Her response... ¡°Hand wash them?¡± I look up what that is and how to do it, and it seems simple enough. Kind of time consuming, but all I need is soap and warm water. So I pull all my bras out of my laundry basket and take them into the wash room. I follow the directions I found online, filling the sink with lukewarm water, a little laundry detergent, then dunk them inside, swish them around some, and let them soak in the soapy water.

    They have to soak for a bit, so I just set a timer and play on my mobile until it goes off. Then I pull the drain on the sink, let the water drain away, and run my bras under more water to get the soap out of them. It takes a surprising amount of time and effort to get the water to run clean, with no leftover soap suds.

    After that, I''m not sure what to do about drying, so after I squeeze out all the water I can, I bundle them up in towels. I hope that''s good enough?

    Thinking as much, I take my laundry basket downstairs to do the rest like normal. Then it''s just sitting in my room, studying, watching TV, playing games, and having some time to relax before next week comes.

    <hr>

    I''m in a state of dull surprise all through the next week. Despite all the revelations about myself and the world around me, nothing really changes. Class is the same, my friends are the same, my daily schedule doesn''t change any either. The only real thing is Leona not pinning me to a desk every break since that would burn too much energy. Just gym is sufficient as long as we keep up our current pattern.

    The biggest and easily most concerning change though, is that everyone has caught onto how I go to the infirmary with Leona after class every day. With everything they''ve seen lately, it''s dead-obvious that something is going on, but no one can guess it for obvious reasons, so it just feeds into the ongoing rumor that I''m secretly a psion or something.

    Of course, that rumor butts heads with the one going around that I''m pathetically weak and was bullied when I was younger, and has all the jealous tough guys (who still have it in their heads that I''ve had sex with two of my friends for some stupid reason) eyeing me like hungry predators, so I spend every moment at school paired with at least one of my friends who can fight if anything happens.

    It makes me a bit tense whenever we move around outside of class, but for once, I have plenty of people around me and I know they''ll help me. Except for Jen. I don''t know why, but she always gets me to pair off with someone else. Probably trying to combat the sex rumors.

    In class, my friends still refer to me like a guy, but when when it''s just us in our rooms, or away from other students, I get grouped right in with the girls.

    It''s a kind of weird feeling. Like, awkward. That they can treat me like one of them now, even though I wasn''t before. That fear and wariness toward men Jen spoke about doesn''t apply to me now. Not that I''m sure it ever did, with the way everyone was always protecting me in the past, but still, it''s a strange feeling.

    I don''t think it''s a bad feeling though, I kind of like it. Getting to be a girl with them. I keep having to push down those dark thoughts though, those feelings of failure that nag at me, tell me I''m just taking the easy way out. Those aren''t my thoughts, they aren''t how I feel. With every passing day, I see that more and more.

    If my parents are disappointed in me for being like this, different than their sexist beliefs, it''s not my fault. It''s hard, sometimes, but I keep reminding myself of that. Every time my friends tell me I''m cute and it makes my heart flutter serves as a reminder. I do like being like this.

    Saturday arrives, and Leona comes into my room early in the morning.

    ¡°Seiko,¡± she wakes me with a gentle shake. After I bumble my way up in bed, she says, ¡°it''s time to head back to psi-ops.¡±

    ¡°Right, yeah...¡± I mumble. It''s been a month already, hasn''t it? ¡°Ok, I''m getting up.¡±

    We head to the transport terminal, boarding the empty shuttle before the sun has even come up. Not packed like last time, huh?

    Leona pins me against a window again, and I tiredly struggle in her grip for a while, until she says it''s enough, and get to relax, leaning sleepily against her the rest of the way into the city.

    Once we hop off the shuttle, it''s quite a walk to the psi-ops headquarters, but we don''t get stopped along the way this time. The sky is utterly invisible past the mega-skyscrapers dominating the surroundings, but the sun should be rising right around when we make it to the correct building entrance.

    After another clipped introduction with the still-unnamed receptionist woman, we take the lift down to Aalin Mejja''s lab. ¡°Ah, you''re here. Good to see you two, Vicca, Maka-san,¡± he greets us when we arrive. ¡°Come come, let''s get to the tests. I''m sure you''re looking forward to the possible good news.¡±

    ¡°S-sure...¡± I''m a little overwhelmed by his usual brusque manner, and try to follow along with his pace. ¡°I''m also a little less sure about the ''good news'' part after everything I''ve learned lately. Since I know I like being a girl, almost certainly more than being a boy, the prospect of changing back is worrying.

    Even if I don''t, I''m anxious about my energy pathways healing. What if when they do, my soul is male after all? What would that say about me? I don''t really want to think about it...

    Despite any reservations I may have, I climb into the scanner box and try to prepare myself for a very long wait. It''s a strange sensation, lying in the spacious box again. I felt like I spent three or four months in here, then had one month off at school, and now I''m in for another what, month or two? At this rate, it''s going to feel like I spend more time here than I do at school, and I really don''t know what to think about that.

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    Well, there''s no use worrying about it. Just have to wait. If anything, it gives me time to think. Step back through all of my memories from childhood, all the things my parents said. It''s not like I have anything else to do.

    <hr>

    I think about my father. Always telling me to man up. Instilling in me that idea that masculinity and power are the most important things in the world and aiming for anything else is wrong. That poisonous mindset that sent me flailing wildly, the rift between my words and my actions forcing me to despise myself.

    For days or weeks, I meander over the thoughts. The little words and looks he made all across the years of my life. Always pushing me one way or another, trying to mold me into his own vision of a man. Of course it never worked. In just a week of my friends treating me like a girl, I can already see the difference.

    It''s so easy. I don''t have to coach my every action and constantly check if I''m sitting, standing, speaking, breathing correctly. I can simply exist as myself without that ever-present worry of the judgment of every person watching me, if I''m passing their requirements of how I should be.

    How he said I should be.

    <hr>

    I think of my mother, how she told me to be who I want to be. And how that changed. How Dad''s constant pressure pushed me to say I wanted to be like he said. She supported it just like she said she would. But all it did was add another echo to my little box, telling me over and over to act like the man I never wanted to be. Another pair of eyes, another set of invisible requirements to meet.

    If I told Mom now, would she accept me? Would she still say she believes in me and supports who I want to be, even if it''s the opposite of what I always said before? Would she understand if I told her I realized I was always lying to myself? Would she change what she wants, what she expects of me? Or would she be disgusted? And if she did, how would I even respond?

    What would I do with myself if my own mother said she hated me, just for being who I am?

    <hr>

    Eventually, my mind moves past them, and I think of all the bullying. The things people said, always watching and always stepping in to hurt me when I failed to sufficiently hold up that disguise. Because in the end, that''s all it was, just the disguise of a man to stay out of notice.

    I consider the things they did to me. How it hurt me, how it changed me. Made me try harder and harder to pretend, fooling myself with my own act. All those bullies.

    People like Bolin Vance.

    Lying there with nothing but the scanner''s buzz and the heavy air pressing down around me, I remember something I don''t want to. Something better left alone, buried in the dark. But staring off for an indeterminate length of time, that nasty little box works its way to the front of my mind anyway. It takes weeks of silence and refusal, but there''s no stopping it in the end.

    The box opens, and I think about it. The feelings are as vivid as if it was all yesterday. From that time, back when I was still all alone.

    <hr>

    I was five years old when I first learned of cruelty.

    It was in those first weeks of kindergarten before I met Ken. Vance was there on the playground, just some kid from one grade up back then. He called me out because of my name, said he didn''t believe I was a boy. Pushed me down behind the school building where no one could hear me scream. Even when he saw for himself, he said he knew how to make me a girl...

    I didn''t let anyone touch me for years after that. Any time they tried, I fought back. Even though I was too small and weak. That''s when I wished to be strong, over and over. When I started lifting weights. And then I met Ken, and I didn''t have to fight any more. Just a few weeks too late.

    But I still didn''t let anyone touch me until around middle school, when I knew I was strong enough that nothing like that would ever happen again.

    <hr>

    ...Shit.

    I immediately regret those thoughts. I should have tried harder, kept the memories locked up in their little box, never to be thought of again.

    Because now I''m afraid again. I''m not strong enough to stop that happening anymore. And unlike back then, I truly am a girl now - in body, not just in mind.

    If someone touched me like that now... Or... what if they went further...?

    I lie there, sweating and chest heaving in sudden panic, until the buzz fades, and they pull me out. Even Leona''s touch makes me anxious as she helps me from the box.

    ¡°Seiko, are you alright? You started panicking, did something go wrong?¡± she asks, nerves in her voice.

    ¡°N-no. No, I''m fine. Just...¡± I shake my head. ¡°I don''t want to talk about it.¡± I slowly pull myself away from her, wrapping an arm around myself. It helps somehow, makes me feel a little more secure while I try to push those thoughts from mind and address Mejja instead. ¡°Is that enough, or do I need to go longer?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I think that should be enough,¡± Mejja says from his spot at the computer, ¡°these scans are already quite detailed.¡± Soon enough, he waves us back into the conference room to go over the results.

    ¡°Alright, Maka-san. Here is your current scan data.¡± He waves it up into the air above us, and I immediately see the difference. It''s way brighter, enough to see even without him enhancing it. And largely purple. I recognize the shade immediately. Leona''s color.

    ¡°Here, you can see that your current energy levels are around tier three due to the energy Vicca-san has left inside of you. Once we filter that out...¡± With another tap, the purple fades. Oh, I guess that was her energy. With another flash, he shows the artificially brightened version of my scan with her energy filtered out.

    It''s... not much different from last time, I think. Just jumbles of color everywhere.

    ¡°I know it may not look like much,¡± Mejja begins, ¡°but comparing the last scan to the current one, there are signs of your PEP stitching itself back together. At its current rate of recovery, I would expect to see it back to normal somewhere between six and ten months from now.

    That long?! Wait, given my current circumstances, maybe that ''s a good thing? It will give me plenty of time to explore myself before I have to decide on anything...

    ¡°...Alright.¡± I nod seriously. ¡°I understand.¡±

    ¡°Good good. That will be all then.¡± He stands up from his seat immediately. ¡°Lots of data to look over now, research to do. I''m sure you understand.¡±

    ¡°Wait, Mejja,¡± Leona calls him to stop. ¡°What about the time stretching effect, did you find anything?¡±

    ¡°So far? No. There is a mountain of scanner data for me to look through to see if there is anything, but it''s going to take a substantial amount of time.¡±

    Leona sighs. ¡°Yeah, fair enough. We can get going then?¡±

    ¡°Yup, have a nice time at school,¡± he waves without even looking at us, already walking away. I think he might have a few screws loose...

    ¡°Well, you heard him. Let''s get back, Seiko.¡± When Leona touches my shoulder to lead me from the room, I can''t help my slight shudder. I don''t think she notices, but I immediately berate myself for it. This is Leona, stop being stupid, body! Or is it my mind? I don''t know, but thinking back on that memory I tried to lock up has me really shaken.

    It was a long time ago. And I went through all that training to ensure I''d be strong enough to stop future problems. But none of that matters because of my current weakness. That same fear from when I was a child is still right there.

    Honestly, I don''t know if it ever left. Was I just burying it with the memory? Stomping it down with my newfound strength? Now that those safeguards are gone, it''s right there, a constant reminder that I should be afraid of what people will do to me. Especially with my new body.

    But it''s wrong. Like all the other things I learned as a child, I keep telling myself that fear is wrong. I can''t be afraid of touch just because of one bad thing that happened, look at how amazing it is the rest of the time! Like when people pat my head or play with my hair. The feeling hugs, or Jen''s hands massaging my scalp.

    All of those are wonderful feelings. Even when Jen walked me through touching myself. That gentle, caring guidance I never could have gotten without opening up and letting her touch me.

    Even as I argue with myself over that, we trek back across the city to the transit station.

    And then my brain reminds me, what if it was anyone else? What if it wasn''t Jen, gently coaxing me into exploring my new body? What if it was a man instead, forcing himself on me? No way I could stop him? What if it was Vance again? What if he came to finish what he started?

    I grit my teeth against the dark thoughts. No matter what, that''s not going to happen. I''m not alone anymore. I have tons of friends to help me. I''m an adult, not a little kid. I''m smart enough and careful enough to avoid dangerous situations where something like that could even happen.

    Just like Jen told me, girls learn from a young age to be wary of men for exactly this reason. This is normal for them. If I want to be a girl, this will be normal for me too. I just have to be careful like they are, and work with other girls to stay safe together. She told me, being a girl is hard.

    And I want to do it anyway? When being a boy is safer, easier, and you''re less likely to get attacked?

    Well... yeah...?

    How good I feel as a girl outweighs the fear and the hardship?

    I think it does...

    How am I supposed to know for sure? I''m not even really living as a girl yet, I''m still hiding it from everyone but my closest friends.

    But if I told everyone, there would be no way to go back. It''s not like I could just... try it to be sure or something. If I revealed everything, there would be no going back. Look how much I got bullied for not being manly enough before. If I told everyone, then even if I changed my mind later, no one would ever see me as male again.

    ¡°Seiko.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± I look up, blinking at Leona in a daze.

    ¡°You''ve been sulking for hours, is there something you need to talk about?¡± Huh? I check the time. We''re almost back to school already. I was lost in my own head for that long?

    ¡°I... well...¡± I don''t even know what to say. Groaning, I curl up to press my head into my hands against my knees. ¡°I''m afraid of being attacked while I''m weak like this,¡± I admit. ¡°I did a lot of thinking in the scanner. Weeks of it, really. And I remembered this one time, this really bad memory I tried to forget.¡±

    I peek an eye up at her, still listening intently, not showing any reaction yet. ¡°I got... bullied, and I was really afraid afterward. So I trained a lot, until I was strong enough that no one could hurt me anymore, but with this weakening effect, that strength is gone.¡±

    I gulp, not even knowing the point of opening up like this right now. But for some reason, talking about it feels strangely relieving, so I find myself going on a bit at a time.

    ¡°Now that my body is like this, I''m really, really scared someone will do something to me again and I won''t have any way to stop them. And that got me thinking if it would be easier to keep hiding, to keep from being attacked. But I''d go back to like things were before, and I was miserable like that...¡±

    I look up again, and this time, Leona''s eyes are wide with horror. ¡°...What?¡± I mutter nervously. She shifts forward, reaching for my face, and easily catches my slight flinch this time.

    Leona doesn''t mince words. ¡°Seiko, were you molested as a child?¡±

    ¡°N-no, I...¡± I look away. All I said was I got bullied, how did she get there from just that? ¡°I just...¡± I never admitted this to anyone before, not even my parents. Dad would have berated me for it, and it would have made Mom cry...

    ¡°...It was a long time ago...¡±

    ¡°Seiko...¡± In a surprise move, Leona''s hand brushes my shoulder, before she draws me into a hug. I go stiff at first, until I relax into it. ¡°We can undo the weakening effect if you want. We''d have to go back to random effects every day, and even at full strength, it wouldn''t be enough against a man with your body like this. But I''ll do it immediately if it will make you feel safer,¡± she offers quietly, still holding me.

    I open my mouth, but don''t know how to respond. That would solve a big problem for me. But it would create more problems. With random effects, there''s no telling what could happen. There would be all sorts of havoc. Like that first week.

    I know that logically, the way we''re doing it now makes the most sense. It has nearly zero impact on my everyday life. But I''m scared...

    ¡°N... No. We can leave it. I have all of you to protect me,¡± I eventually decide. ¡°I''m scared, but... We have to be practical. We''re way more likely to run into problems from random psionic effects every day than from someone attacking me.¡±

    ¡°Alright, we''ll keep things as they are now,¡± she agrees. ¡°But, if you change your mind, just tell me. And if anything happens, don''t hesitate. Fight. It''ll take time, but if you''re careful, you should be able to struggle until the energy runs out and you get your full strength back. That might give you the edge you need to get away. Alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I''ll do that...¡± That helps. I''m still afraid of what could happen before, but it gives me a last resort to fall back on. We walk a little further, nearly back at school, before I ask, ¡°Leona... please don''t tell anyone? I never wanted to tell anyone about what happened...¡±

    ¡°Not a word,¡± she declares, dead serious.

    ¡°...Thanks.¡±

    When we get back, we head to the infirmary like usual, but Leona is different now. When she pushes me down, it''s with a gentler touch. It tells me that she''s being careful with me. Rather than anxious, it makes me feel safe.

    In front of the dorms, Leona asks again if I''m feeling safe right now, and I tell her that I''m fine. I''ve managed this long, I''ll keep it up.

    Then I walk into the boy''s dorm and freeze on the spot. Oh god there are guys everywhere. No, no. No need to freak out, there have always been this many guys, it''s not like anything has changed. I''m just way more aware of them now. How much bigger they are than me. And stronger...

    I shake my head, I''m being stupid. What could possibly happen in the middle of a crowded, public place?

    I let out a slow breath, reminding myself of the same thing as earlier. As long as I''m careful, I''ll be fine. I need to ask Jen to teach me what to watch out for, I''m sure there are lots of tips she could give me since she grew up as a girl.

    For now, I just try to keep to myself and head up to my room. I fall face first into bed-

    ¡°Ow!¡± I roll onto my side. ¡°Shit, ow, ow, ow,¡± I mutter and curse repeatedly, rubbing my throbbing breasts. ¡°God damn that hurts!¡± I have to sit there and breathe for a bit before the pain recedes. Not as bad as getting kicked in the balls, but it''s really up there. I need to start being more careful...

    Once I''ve recovered, I sit up, pull off my shirt and bra, and toss them next to me on the bed.

    ¡°They are getting bigger...¡± I give them a few gentle squeezes. They''re big enough to kind of fit in my hands now, but still smaller than all the other girls. Still a super late bloomer, huh...

    I flop over onto my side and sigh. What am I supposed to do now...? If I even can change back, that''s like a half a year away, and I''d be doing it out of fear rather than because it''s what I want. In the meantime, I''m supposed to experiment and discover myself, but I''m scared of how everyone would react. So what do I actually do?

    When I can''t come up with anything, I eventually decide to give up on thinking for now. I''m hungry after so long at psi-ops, so I throw on a big hoodie and go to the kitchen to make some food. It''s fine, I have plenty of time after all.

 Chapter 21

    A few weeks pass. I spend my time as usual, with school and friends, but apart from Leona''s daily checkups, I''m a bit too skittish with touch, which everyone quickly picks up on and gives me some space.

    Still, the longer it goes on, the more it starts irritating me. I won''t want to be afraid of touching my friends!

    Fortunately, I don''t have to spend my breaks pinned to a desk for the first week, because I can burn all the energy I need to burn lifting weights during gym.

    That is, until we move on to basketball. It''s no help at all, so I''m right back to struggling uselessly against Leona for the first few periods every day. I swear, fate want me to suffer or something...

    Even if it''s Leona, being pinned and helpless with so many people around makes me kind of anxious. I''m just glad it isn''t anyone else...

    The biggest change though, has to be what I do after school ends each day.

    ¡°Maka-san, could you tell the class about the primary cause of the cessation of the Iberian peninsula from Gondle and its subsequent annexation into Laros?¡±

    Suddenly, the history teacher calls on me during one class, so I stand and answer. ¡°Wasn''t it because we invaded?¡±

    There''s a pause of silence, before the teacher responds, ¡°Of course not! The Iberian people were being mistreated, so Laros graciously stepped in to aid them.¡± The man scoffs at me, before returning to his lecture.

    At night, I''ve been spending a lot of my time online. I''ve been researching... pretty much everything. It''s sad really, how much of what I learned since childhood is seeming more and more like complete bullshit the more I dig into things. After everything about sexism, I expanded, looking for reasons. Explanations for why things are like this.

    A lot of it came from the less than spectacular historical record of Laros throughout the years. Apparently, classist military dictatorships aren''t that common outside of our little section of the world. It turns out, there are places out there that aren''t constantly in land wars with their neighbors.

    Needless to say, I don''t believe much of what we learn in history anymore.

    I still haven''t figured things out with myself, but just having a more clear view of the world around me is something.

    Nothing else major has changed, but I keep picking up on the little things. The one that worries me most is Jen. She doesn''t stick as close during breaks. I''m getting more concerned that maybe it has to do with me always being occupied with Leona. I don''t want to push her away or anything, but I don''t really have a choice about this.

    Except... she does come out on the weekends with us, and when she does, it feels like everything is back to normal. Like she''s only keeping her distance at school.

    Is it the rumors? As far as I can tell, they never really went away, so maybe she''s still having issues with that? By the three week mark, it''s clear that she''s off somehow, like tired or stressed or something. I''ve tried asking her about things a few times, but she always says it''s nothing...

    Then, on a day in the middle of the week, there''s a change. While Leona has me pinned to the desk and I struggle to push back, her hands move. For the first time, I''m strong enough to make her budge.

    Her eyes go wide in surprise, but all she has to do is apply more force to lock me down again.

    ¡°Good job, Seiko, I''m impressed. You''re unusually strong,¡± she compliments me. That makes me smile a little, but I know it''s not enough. Even against my full strength, she''s barely trying. And even if she''s from the military, a big guy like Ken would still beat her in pure strength, unpowered at least.

    But I''m getting stronger. If I keep it up, I might be able to get back to the point where I don''t have to be afraid all the time...

    A few days later, on a Friday, Jen looks particularly burned out, so I ask her to come with me to the cafeteria instead of Ken or Leona like usual.

    ¡°Nah, I''ve already got my lunch. Why not ask Ken?¡±

    ¡°Well, he looks busy with Runa-chan.¡± It''s an excuse, but it''s true. They''ve been cute dorks together the last few weeks as they work on figuring out the whole dating thing.

    ¡°Leona then. She''ll keep an eye on you, right?¡± Jen has a weird look in her eye, like she''s silently begging me to leave her alone. But, when she''s like this...

    I don''t want to push her, but I know Jen. She bottles things up and tries to deal with them on her own, even when she shouldn''t. Should I push a little here...?

    Then our conversation derails when Shirla Kaz walks up from behind and calls out to Jen. ¡°Corro-san, can I talk to you?¡±

    ¡°A-ahh, sure, Kaz-san,¡± Jen answers stiffly. I blink, confused by the random interruption, while the two girls walk over to Kaz''s desk. They briefly speak while pointing at the girl''s math notebook, probably going over some math problem. I didn''t know Jen knew Kaz, I don''t think I''ve seen them together before anyway...

    It only takes her a minute to get through the problem before Jen returns again. ¡°Sorry about that, Seiko. You know what, sure, I''ll go with you. I could use a walk.¡± I can tell she''s trying to hide it, but she looks just a little more sullen than before. Have people been relying on her for help with homework that much? It would be just like her to stretch herself thin helping too many people...

    ¡°Alright, let''s go,¡± I respond, keeping my thoughts to myself. After we leave the classroom, Jen leads me downstairs. When we get to one hall where we should turn left, she turns right. For a moment, I wonder if she took a wrong turn, but... no, I don''t think so. Rather, she''s leading us toward a spot behind the gym. It''s out of the way, so she must want to talk after all.

    After we head out a side-door in one of the less used wings of the school, we walk over to a little grassy spot where two walls meet, a little corner. We stop there for a minute, her staring at the wall, away from me, before she''s ready, and turns around.

    Pain and distress show through the cracks in her mask. ¡°Jen-¡± She comes forward and hugs me. I flinch at the sudden touch, before I push the feeling away and hug her back.

    ¡°I''m sorry, Seiko. I''m sorry. It''s a gamble. I don''t know what else to do. I''m scared...¡± What is she talking about?

    ¡°Jen, what''s wrong?¡± I ask quietly. Whatever it is, she''s been bottling it up, and it''s all coming to the surface now. But she can''t get it out. She keeps apologizing, saying she doesn''t have any other options. Did she do something wrong?

    ¡°Don''t worry, whatever it is, we''ll deal with it together, right?¡± I try to encourage her, tears in my own eyes now. She''s always protected me, so it hurts to see her like this. I can at least support her when she''s down, can''t I?

    Then the door we came through before opens again. I look back, to see a number of other students coming out. There are a couple guys I don''t recognize, but I see Shirla Kaz from earlier, Lacey Monasta, and-

    I jolt when Bolin Vance walks out, pulling closer to Jen. But when I glance her way, I''m not sure if she''s in any condition to help me.

    Shit! My heart is hammering, this is dangerous!

    I spin through thoughts, already feeling the hit of an adrenaline high as my fight or flight response kicks into overdrive.

    Even if Jen wasn''t out of it, there are five of them and two of us. The girls and Vance are one thing, but as awesome as Jen is, I don''t know if she can take on two big guys like them in her best form. Our best bet would normally be to break through and run away.

    ¡°Jen, we have to run,¡± I whisper, starting to pull her toward the right, away from the door and the bullies. But she holds tight to me, so I can''t move. ¡°Jen!¡± I hiss.

    ¡°I''m sorry...¡± she''s still murmuring.

    ¡°Come on, snap out of it!¡± I pull out of her grasp, glancing back at the advancing bullies. ¡°We have to go!¡± My eyes sweep across them, shoulders shaking at the sight. They''re already spreading out to box us in. Fuck! ¡°Come on, Jen!¡± I grab her by the shoulders, shaking her in panic.

    Should I run by myself? The bullies never focused on Jen before, wouldn''t they leave her alone? But what if they didn''t? There''s no way I could just abandon her. So I back us up, unsure whether I should be shielding her, or hiding behind her.

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''ll be fine. I''m sure it''ll be fine...¡± Jen mutters in my ear as we back up into the corner of the building. What''s she talking about now? With this, we''re truly cornered. The three guys stand in front, Vance in the center, with the girls a step behind.

    They pause there for a moment, before Lacey steps up between Vance and the other guy. She looks straight at Jen, smirks, and snaps her fingers. Huh? I look back to Jen, who''s staring at the ground, her shoulders shaking. She walks away from me, and the bullies let her pass, to stand a short distance behind them.

    What?

    Jen stands there, head to the ground and shoulders hunched, like a whipped dog.

    ...Why? Why is Jen with the bullies...?

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

    I thought she was my friend.

    This can''t be right. Jen can''t be one of them. There has to be another explanation for this.

    ¡°Ooh, how slow are you?¡± Lacey Monasta trills. ¡°Can''t believe your precious little friend betrayed you?¡±

    ¡°N-no...¡± I mumble. Jen wouldn''t. She... No... ¡°Why...?¡±

    ¡°Oh, who knows? Maybe she''s tired of hanging out with the sissiest little pussy on campus. Or how about you ruining her reputation? Or when you tossed her aside as soon as someone hotter came along? Or maybe just maybe,¡± she sneers, ¡°Corro-chan just hates you.¡±

    That...

    ¡°Monasta!¡± Jen growls, half turned toward the vile woman between us, face wet with tears.

    I wipe at my own face. There''s no way. No way any of that is true! Monasta is frowning and tutting at Jen.

    ¡°No. Interruptions,¡± she says the words in a high, playful pitch, and Jen immediately backs down. But why?

    ¡°Now then,¡± Monasta turns on me again. ¡°Vance-san, let''s see if we can take Maka-san down a few pegs, shall we?¡±

    Vance steps forward and my body locks up. ¡°Sounds great, I''ve been looking forward to this.¡± His face is twisted up into an ugly sneer, his proximity sending my arms up around me automatically.

    No no no, this can''t be happening.

    Anyone but him.

    He stalks closer, one suffocating step at a time, while I press myself further back into the corner. I stare up at him, but all I can see is the past. It''s going to happen again. I can''t stop it.

    His hand comes up. I can''t stop shaking, my head is going fuzzy. I can''t think.

    I''m scared.

    ¡°DON''T TOUCH ME!¡± The shriek tears from my throat on it''s own, my fist slamming out into his chest as hard as possible. Vance grunts, his large frame collapsing backward to lie on the ground.

    I stare down, eyes and breathing wild and shallow. Hyperventilating as the blood pounds in my ears. I won''t let him. Not again. Never again. He''s coughing on the ground, rubbing his chest where I hit him.

    ¡°Shit, he can throw a punch after all,¡± Vance coughs out, drawing himself back up from the ground with a groan. Then his eyes light up and a huge, wicked grin spreads over his face. ¡°Guess we get to do this the hard way.¡±

    He steps forward again, and I brace myself. Even if I''m weak, I''ll fight. I don''t have that much energy left to burn off, so if I really push, I should be able to regain my full strength. Then everything will be fine.

    ¡°You will not touch me,¡± I glower at him.

    ¡°Let''s see about that.¡± He cracks his knuckles. I put my hands up, but they''re shaking uncontrollably. I clench my fists anyway. Vance attacks, but... he''s slow. Is it his huge size, or is he just bad at fighting? He was never very strong when we were kids either, Jen and Ken had no trouble against him.

    I weave, dodging his hands and hit him back. My blows are wild, all over his chest and stomach, until he lands a hit of his own. I block it with my arm, but it hardly helps. I''m thrown sideways into the wall, staggering and gasping. It feels like my arm is going numb where he hit me.

    He presses in, and I dodge frantically. Why does he have to he so hard to beat when he''s so bad at this?! Gritting my teeth, I force my shaking hands to move, raining blows on Vance as fast and hard as I can, avoiding everything he throws at me, until I get him to fall back a step.

    ¡°What are you a damn squirrel?!¡± he snarls. Then he jerks his head at the other two guys, and they chuckle darkly, advancing alongside him.

    Fuck fuck fuck...

    I can''t do this! My eyes search through the gaps. But how? Pressing against the walls at my back, I tense, waiting a moment. Then I push off, straight to Vance in the center. He reaches for me, but I crash into his chest first, bringing my knee up straight into his crotch. I feel the hit, the crunch, snarling through my teeth, and slide between his legs, breaking past the wall of men.

    I kick back up to my feet, view suddenly filled with an elbow out of nowhere. Lacey Monasta checks me, the blow landing right between my eyes, and I stagger backward, vision swimming. By the time I recover, a huge hand closes around my wrist, and my whole body swings away from the ground.

    I don''t see it coming at all. My entire back slams, the back of my head cracking against the solid wall and everything goes out of focus. ¡°Ugh...¡± I groan, trying to shake off the hit, but I can hardly think through the pain.

    ¡°God damn, you guys are useless!¡± Monasta scowls at them as she advances, and the second of the two men grabs my other arm. I strain against their grips, heart jumping out of my chest even as I can''t focus on my surroundings.

    I can''t breathe. Everything hurts, and I''m trapped. There''s no way I can break out of this!

    My bleary consciousness settles on Lacey Monasta, standing with one hand on her hip, the other twirling a lock of her long, silver hair like some kind of fucking princess.

    ¡°Why?¡± I cough the question out. I''m already pulling at the men holding me, burning down the energy while I have the chance.

    ¡°Why?¡± She tilts her head, with that casual, unconcerned smile.

    ¡°Why are you doing this? I don''t even know you...¡± Why do random people have to bully me like this?

    She flashes a big, toothy smile. ¡°Oh? You don''t remember, do you?¡± Remember what? I couldn''t have possibly harmed her somehow, could I? ¡°On the very first day of school, you walked into the class.¡± She puts on a pouty, pretty girl trill as she speak. ¡°And you walked past me.¡±

    I... walked past her? What does she mean?

    Monasta leans forward, smiling and patting my cheek. ¡°Someone like you had the audacity to appear in front of me,¡± she chirps.

    That''s it? Just... just for existing...?

    ¡°Now, chop chop.¡± She raises a hand, hopping a step back and snapping her fingers a couple times. On her cue, Vance lumbers over, one hand still holding between his legs as he hobbles. Without a word, he sends a fist across my cheek, my whole head snapping to the side, like my neck is going to snap. Only the strong arms holding me from behind keep me from toppling over at the force of the blow.

    Before I can even respond, he drives a fist into my gut, all the air going out of my lungs, and the strength from my arms and legs. The men behind hold me upright as he follows with a second blow into the same spot. I feel it all the way through me, the like he''s crushing my organs against my spine.

    Vance steps back, still grunting and groaning. ¡°So soft it feels like I''m hitting a girl,¡± he laughs, staring down at me with a grin on his face and rage in his eyes. I''m still fighting to force a breath back into my collapsed lungs, when I see Jen again, standing off to the side behind Vance. She''s staring at me, tears running down her face.

    Really... what did she expect...?

    With all the strength going out of my body, I can''t even struggle. Vance approaches, his hand coming up toward my face. I can''t stop him at all. I can''t protect myself.

    My heart stops. My blood goes cold. The pain vanishes.

    All that''s left is the memory and the fear.

    He touches me again.

    His big hand closes under my chin, around my cheeks, jerking my head up to look at him. ¡°Well well well, what''s it been, ten years? And here we are again. But look, we have an audience this time.¡± He squeezes, shifting my head to meet Jen''s eyes, and announces for everyone to hear, ¡°Ready for round two, Sei-chan? Let''s see if I can make you a girl for real this time!¡±

    Eyes still locked with Jen, I see her moment of realization. The abject horror.

    I can''t stop this. He''s going to do it again. His hands close around the collar of my jacket, ripping it open, all the buttons snapping off. The guys holding my arms pull it off entirely, while Vance sneers. ¡°Seriously, you''re more of a girl than you were back then. You have girl hair and everything. Did you really like last time that much?¡±

    No... Not again... I have to keep fighting...

    When I start to struggle again, he throws another huge, body-staggering punch, right into the side of my head, then grabs my vest and rips that too. And another shot to the ribs. I think I''m going to pass out...

    When I look up again, my fading sight is filled with Vance''s face.

    Then there''s an enormous violet flare, and the hands holding me vanish. I slump to the ground immediately, completely unable to hold myself up. I look around in a stupor, not understanding, until I see Leona. She''s a blazing glow of light, hardly a few steps away.

    I''m... saved...?

    ¡°You!¡± Her words resonate with power, physically crushing me to the ground. But they''re aimed behind me. I turn and see the five bullies, pinned, backs against the school building, ten feet in the air.

    Their mouths move, but they''re under so much pressure, they can''t make a sound.

    ¡°You hurt Seiko!¡± her words fly out, the students bodies shredding, blood splattering against the concrete. She raises a foot, her eyes shifting to a blinding glow of reddened indigo and righteous fury. ¡°Begone!¡± The foot slams down, and... they''re gone. They just vanish. There''s nothing left but the splatters of blood formed into vaguely human shapes, and the scraps of cloth falling from their torn clothes.

    Did Leona just...

    Before I can even fully consider what happened to the bullies, Leona is on her knees in front of me. She hovers, but doesn''t touch me. ¡°Seiko, are you alright? Did they hurt you? Did he hurt you?¡±

    I can''t find my voice. I can''t think beyond the fact that I''m safe. I''m not going to be molested again. I break down sobbing, and Leona ever so slowly moves in to pull me into a gentle hug. I cry on her shoulder, hands clutching weakly at her back. I cry until the pain inside doesn''t hurt quite as bad as the injuries all over my body.

    Leona turns, holding me close, my only source of comfort and safety right now. Her gaze lands on Jen, who shudders and falls to her knees.

    ¡°Why?¡± with a flare of power, Jen is knocked prone on the ground, staring up at Leona from her belly.

    ¡°They blackmailed me. I didn''t have a choice. I''m so sorry... I''m the fucking worst...¡± She presses her face into the dirt, body wracked with sobs. ¡°I''m sorry, I didn''t know. Oh god, Seiko, I''m so sorry...¡±

    ¡°Didn''t know what?¡± Leona demands, eyes glaring down into slits.

    ¡°Vance-san. He- he said... he said he did things... Seiko, when you were just a child...?¡±

    ¡°HIM...¡± The word practically emanates outward from Leona''s entire body. ¡°He''s the one.¡± Her powers are overflowing, raining through the air around her. I can''t breath, and Jen is whining pathetically, her whole body crushed beneath the weight. ¡°If I ever see his face again...¡± she mutters darkly.

    I finally find my voice. ¡°What... happened... to them...?¡± The words come at a whisper. It doesn''t sound like they''re gone. I don''t need to worry about them anymore, do I?

    ¡°I sent them far, far away,¡± Leona murmurs soothingly, bringing herself under control again. ¡°They can''t hurt you anymore.¡± Then she turns to Jen once more. ¡°Give me your vest,¡± she demands, voice harsh. Jen complies without a single word.

    With slow, gentle motions, she takes the offered clothing, and wraps it around me, over top of my own torn vest, which reveals my undershirt and the faint curve of my breasts. Once Jen''s top is settled into place, Leona glowers at her.

    ¡°Tell me why this happened. Explain clearly why you betrayed Seiko like this.¡±

    Jen remains on her hands and knees, speaking in a low, deadened tone. ¡°Monasta-san threatened me. Her mother is a school administrator, so even if there''s no evidence and it''s my word against hers, I''m fucked.¡±

    That''s as far as she gets before a voice suddenly cuts all across the school grounds, emanating from the ever-present PA system. ¡°Jenna Corro-san, Seiko Maka-san, Leona Vicca-san. Come to the administration office immediately.¡±

    Jen''s reaction is instant. ¡°Oh fuck, oh fuck!¡± Her arms wrap around herself. Even after what she did to me, I recognize that terror, and it''s like a knife in the heart. I knew Jen wouldn''t do something like this for no reason. She''s afraid too...

    ¡°Come, we''re dealing with this,¡± Leona growls.

 Chapter 22

    Leona picks me up from the ground into a gentle carry. I tremble in her arms, curling against her chest where I''m safe. The fuming psion marches straight through the building, Jen trailing silently on her heels. Her steely gaze pushes aside any students who dare to exist along our path.

    When we reach the administration office, she slams the door open without an instant of hesitation. Everyone inside flinches from the crash, and before they have any chance to respond, her glowing gaze falls upon Bolin Vance. His body flings through the air, crashing against a bookcase with audible cracks, and he remains pinned there, eyes rolling desperately in his head, until they land on Jen, a few steps behind us.

    Even if he isn''t looking at me, the dark rage in them makes me shake uncontrollably and hold tighter to Leona. Why do people like him even exist...?!

    ¡°Vicca-san, what are you doing?!¡± a woman demands. Leona marches straight up to her desk. The silver haired lady with both hands pressed to the large office desk has haughty rage etched into her aging face. Of course, the placard between them reads ''Janice Monasta, Administration.'' Oddly she''s looking to the side, not directly at Leona.

    ¡°Securing the room,¡± Leona deadpans at her, gaze sweeping over the remainder of the occupants. Of the five bullies, only four remain. One of the guys from earlier is nowhere to be seen. Besides Vance, the other three are spread through the room, their uniforms shredded in various places and stained with small amounts of blood here and there.

    ¡°What is this nonsense?!¡± the older woman demands. ¡°I called you here because you attacked these students, and now you attack them again in front of me?¡±

    ¡°I am protecting my charge.¡± Her simple words are dripping with authority.

    The woman''s eyes narrow, but she still refuses to look directly at Leona. Is she afraid because she''s a psion? ¡°Explain yourself.¡±

    ¡°That man,¡± Leona jerks her head his way, eliciting a strangled cry of pain, ¡°has sexually assaulted Seiko Maka twice. I will not allow him to come near Seiko ever again, so long as Seiko remains in my care.¡±

    Then her voice drops, emotion bottoming out to leave nothing but dead ice. ¡°I have a mind to execute him on the spot for his transgressions.¡±

    She would... kill him...?

    I have no idea what to even think about that. Where to start.

    Leona, a murderer? It''s Vance, but would she really get blood on her hands for this? For me?

    She was in the military though. And she''s a psion.

    Has Leona already killed people?

    I have no time or attention to address any of the questions rambling through the back of my head as my gaze remains fixed on the fuming administrator at the desk.

    ¡°Don''t be stupid, you don''t have the authority to one-sidedly execute people without proof of any wrongdoing. And in the first place, Maka-san is a man. Sexual assault? Are you kidding?¡±

    ¡°Of course not, it happened in front of my eyes.¡± Leona growls.

    The woman grins wickedly and fires back. ¡°Legally, sexual assault is defined as touching a person''s skin without consent in such a way as to impinge on their modesty or chastity.¡± All my insides are twisting into knots as she speaks. Why does she she know the legal definition of sexual assault off the top of her head?! ¡°Tell me, was there any skin to skin contact? Hmm? Then there was no sexual assault.¡±

    ¡°That''s absurd!¡± Leona exclaims angrily. The only reason it didn''t get there is because she stopped him!

    ¡°You don''t make the law, girl,¡± Monasta spits the words at her in contempt. ¡°On the contrary, you three are in a whole heap of trouble. Inciting violence. Assaulting civilians unprovoked. Impersonating government personnel.¡± She starts rattling off random charges. I don''t even know what they mean.

    But Leona holds her ground. ¡°How do any of those claims hold water?¡± she challenges.

    Monasta smirks. ¡°Who threw the first punch?¡±

    Her daughter answers immediately. ¡°Maka-san did.¡±

    Leona glowers at the pair of them. ¡°Seiko''s back was literally pressed against a wall, taking on a crowd of assailants five to one. One of whom had already caused tremendous harm and trauma to Seiko in the past and made it clear he intended to do the same again. No court in Laros would rule that anything but self-defense.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± the administrator brushes it off. ¡°What about you? Look at these four. And the one you''re still attacking in plain sight. Using your psionic powers recklessly, attacking civilians without any provocation, I could have you stripped of your rank.¡±

    ¡°I have been assigned a duty which requires me to maintain Seiko Maka''s safety and wellbeing. That includes identifying and neutralizing any threats to Seiko. I have the authority to make judgments on who and what I deem dangerous, and react to them as I see fit.¡± Leona draws herself up even taller, her arms holding me safe and tight.

    ¡°I have determined these individuals pose a serious risk to Seiko Maka and will be responding to them as such.¡±

    ¡°That''s ridiculous! You can''t just decide those things on you own!¡± Monasta scoffs.

    ¡°I can and I have.¡±

    ¡°Well then, I''m using my administrative authority. Consider those rights revoked. I will not have a psion running wild on my campus.¡± The woman waves as if to shoo Leona with a smirk on her face.

    ¡°You do not have the authority to interfere with my orders,¡± Leona retorts without even blinking.

    ¡°Like hell I don''t!¡± Monasta''s whole face is starting to flush red and angry at the denial. ¡°What is your mission?¡±

    ¡°That''s classified.¡±

    ¡°I have level ten clearance.¡±

    ¡°Not high enough.¡±

    Monasta balks. ¡°What level do I need?¡±

    ¡°That''s classified,¡± Leona deadpans again.

    The older woman is speechless for a few moments. ¡°I don''t believe you. You''re just lying to cover your ass. I want to speak to your superior.¡±

    Leona pulls out her mobile. ¡°That would be Aalin Mejja-san from the Meridan Psionic Operations Headquarters. I''ll call him right now.¡± She dials his number, then puts the phone on speaker mode and sets it on top of me so she can settle my weight back into both arms.

    It connects.

    ¡°Hi Vicca, what is it?¡± his voice fills the quiet room.

    ¡°Mejja, I have Janice Monasta-san here. She is a school administrator with clearance level ten, challenging my right to make self-determinations for the sake of Seiko''s safety because I injured a number of students who were attacking Seiko.¡±

    ¡°Wait, Maka-san was attacked? Is he alright?¡± Mejja asks immediately. I didn''t think the mad scientist cared about me. Maybe he''s more worried about it affecting his research results...

    ¡°Seiko sustained numerous physical injuries and serious emotional trauma,¡± Leona reports, keeping the emotion out of her tone.

    ¡°Shit... If this affects our research...¡± Mejja groans across the line. In some way, it''s comforting knowing he''s focused on the results. The aloof scientist suddenly acting like he cares about me would just make me feel weird... ¡°Vicca-san, have you apprehended the assailants?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Have you beaten them within an inch of their lives?¡±

    Leona pauses, staring at the woman who still refuses to look at her, and releases a flare of crimson power, cries of pain echoing around us as flesh is torn and skin is flayed, all of the bullies collapsing, even the woman''s own daughter.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°Yes, I have.¡± Leona says with a dead straight face, to the gaping administrator.

    ¡°Good, send me their information later. If they have any impact on Maka-san''s test results, I''m going to throw the book at them so hard they''ll never see the light of day again.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Mejja. Now, here is Janice Monasta-san. She requested to talk to my superior because she does not believe that she does not have high enough clearance to be briefed on the details of my current mission.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Monasta-san,¡± Mejja comes back. ¡°Are you there?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I''m here.¡± Her words are short and clipped, her gaze locked on her collapsed, bleeding daughter, while she clutches the edge of her desk with bone white knuckles.

    ¡°Alright, I''m only going to say this once.¡± He clears his throat loudly, then speaks in a plain, straightforward tone, extremely at odds with his words. ¡°Get out of the way and stop obstructing our work before I have you charged with treason, you self-righteous, middle-managing cunt.¡± There''s a moment where her mouth falls open.

    Before she can verbalize any kind of response, he goes, ¡°Now, if that''s all, I have work to get back to. Vicca, please get me today''s data as soon as you reasonably can.¡±

    ¡°I''ll do that, Mejja.¡± Then the phone clicks when he hangs up. Leona leaves the mobile sitting on top of me in her arms, while Monasta looks shell-shocked.

    We stand in silence before the woman for a few moments longer, before she rallies, bald faced rage pitching higher. ¡°Even if you get off, she doesn''t!¡± her finger jabbing out at Jen. ¡°As I''ve been informed, she called Maka-san''s parents, posing as a school counselor.¡±

    Wait, what? I look her way, and Jen''s staring at the woman in terror.

    ¡°As you may know, school employment is a government position. As such, impersonating a staff member is a serious crime. It carries years of prison time and compulsory military service.¡± Her mouth curls up into a wicked smile again. Is this what Jen was talking about? How Lacey Monasta was blackmailing her?!

    Leona cuts right through. ¡°I ordered her to do it.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You heard me,¡± Leona is openly scowling when she glances Jen''s way. ¡°As a military officer, I ordered Jenna Corro to pose as a school counselor and call Seiko Maka''s parents.¡±

    ¡°You can''t honestly expect me to believe that!¡± Monasta slams her desk in rage, glaring holes through Jen.

    ¡°It doesn''t matter if you believe me, that is my official position on the matter. As such, Jenna Corro operated under my authorization and cannot be held to account for her actions under orders.¡±

    ¡°So you''re taking the blame on yourself?¡± the vicious woman''s eyes light up at the thought, but don''t move from Jen. She still refuses to even look at Leona.

    ¡°Of course.¡± Leona stands imperious. ¡°If you take issue with my actions, you can direct any questions or concerns to my superior, Aalin Mejja-san, at Meridan Psionic Operations Headquarters.¡±

    Monasta''s face goes pale. Leona has her.

    Snarling, Monasta slashes at the air with a hand. ¡°Get out of my office!¡±

    As Leona turns around and begins to leave the room, she utters a warning without looking back. ¡°I suggest you transfer these students to different classes.¡± Then the glow fades from her eyes and there''s a crash as Vance falls from the spot where he was pinned against the wall.

    We proceed down the hall in silence, heading toward the infirmary. Now that I''m finally calming down, the pains all over my body are really starting to set in.

    Then Doctor Belinda comes running from the direction of the infirmary, a bag of medical supplies hooked over one shoulder. She cuts short when she sees us, her eyes landing right on me. I must look like shit. I certainly feel like it...

    ¡°Vicca-san, what happened? I just got an emergency call to the administration office, she said there were students with severe injuries!¡±

    ¡°They won''t die, unfortunately,¡± Leona responds to the shocked doctor. ¡°Sorry for giving you more work to do. We''ll head to the infirmary first.¡± We pass by, and soon enough, I hear the doctor''s shoes echoing down the corridor again as she continues to run.

    When we arrive, Leona settles me down in a bed, sitting beside me, and then turns to address Jen.

    ¡°What do you have to say for yourself?¡± she demands, gaze scathing.

    Jen stands with her head down. ¡°Nothing. You already know what I did. I betrayed Seiko. I brought her right where they told me. I helped them. I''m so sorry...¡± Her voice breaks, a hand coming up to cover her face as she cries.

    Lying in bed, I struggle to sit up, staring down at Jen as she sinks to her knees, weeping. Despite her betrayal, I can''t help feeling bad. We were friends for so long. But...

    But...

    I''m conflicted.

    We had such good times together, but then she helped them hurt me.

    If Leona hadn''t come and saved me, I would have been molested again, probably... probably raped... After everything we''ve been through, Jen did that to me, when she knew I couldn''t fight back.

    No, she didn''t know about my history with Vance. She probably only expected them to beat me up. That''s not as egregious, but still. She knows about my body right now. What did she expect to happen if the bullies found out while beating me up? How could I possibly forgive her for something like that...?

    At the same time, I know they forced her to do it. Under threat of imprisonment or being shipped off with the military, what else should I expect? I wouldn''t want her to choose me over herself in a situation like that.

    But it still hurts that she did...

    I don''t know what to do. Forgive her? Never talk to her again?

    I like Jen. We''re best friends. Could I cut her out of my entire life for this?

    ...Yes. Yes, I could.

    Her actions would have ruined my life if someone else hadn''t stepped in.

    So why do I want to forgive her? I shouldn''t. I know I shouldn''t. Am I just too attached to her after relying on her for so many years? I can''t get it through my thick head that she''s done something unforgivable to me now? Am I still just in shock? Or denial?

    Jen herself knows it''s over, she isn''t even begging for forgiveness!

    Leona''s voice tears through my panicked thoughts. ¡°Corro-san, do you know why I brought you here instead of leaving you in a bleeding heap with the others?¡± Jen shakes her head mutely. ¡°Because you warned me. Why did you do that?¡±

    Jen warned Leona? How? When? I sputter out a question about that, so Leona explains. ¡°When she left the classroom with you, she gave me a look. If she''d just said something, I would have found you sooner and you wouldn''t have had to go through all of that. But, she did let me know something was wrong. I want to know why.¡±

    ¡°It''s not like I wanted to...¡± Jen cries. ¡°I was scared. I didn''t know what to do. I thought... you know, you''re a psion. Maybe you could help...¡±

    When she says it like that, I remember. What she said when she brought me out, before the bullies attacked. She said it was a gamble.

    Jen didn''t just bring me out there to betray me, she had an actual plan. And Leona didn''t just happen to save me, Jen called her there. It was intentional. Even if she knew she was putting me in danger, that wasn''t the point. It makes me think...

    ¡°Jen.¡± I finally speak, feeling a strange calm come over me as I know what I need to ask. Her head snaps up at my voice. Awaiting my judgment. ¡°What did Lacey Monasta tell you to do?¡±

    ¡°She told me to find an opportunity bring you to that spot alone,¡± she explains, eyes trailing back down to the floor.

    ¡°What else?¡±

    ¡°Huh? Nothing. That was all, I swear! I-I mean, except not to tell anyone!¡± She shakes, like she''s panicking at the question, and Leona leans in, whole body radiating threat.

    ¡°How long was Lacey Monasta blackmailing you?¡± I ask.

    ¡°That... about a month?¡± She says it like she doesn''t understand.

    I thought so. ¡°She told you to get me alone a month ago? And you only did it now?¡±

    ¡°It was the first opportunity...¡± She sounds guilty, but I get it now. So this is why...

    ¡°Jen, I get it. That''s why you''ve been distant at school. Even if they were blackmailing you, you were still avoiding actually going through with it.¡± She doesn''t respond, but she doesn''t have to. This explains all her weird behavior lately. The stress, her talking to people she''s never talked to before.

    Even though they were holding a prison sentence over her head, she avoided going anywhere alone with me at school for over a month, to avoid having to follow through on their demands. And even when she did, she signaled Leona to save me.

    She''s still the same Jen I always knew. Even if she was trapped and didn''t see any way out, she didn''t just throw me to the wolves to save herself. It doesn''t make up for what she did, but it''s a start.

    I look down at my hands, holding onto the calm inside me for now. ¡°Just one more thing. Why did you call my parents? Why did you pretend to be a counselor in the first place?¡± I''m not an idiot, if Leona actually told her to do that, Lacey Monasta couldn''t have used it to blackmail her.

    Still staring at the floor, she answers, ¡°I was trying to figure out why you were so resistant to the idea of being a girl. It''s how I found out about your father. I didn''t know it was so serious...¡±

    ...Shit. Now that she mentions it, it''s too obvious. When she told me that Dad was the one that filled my head with all that misogynistic crap, it never occurred to me that Jen doesn''t actually know my father.

    Groaning a little, I hold my head in a hand. So she got herself into all this shit by doing something stupid while trying to help me. It figures...

    ¡°Alright, I get it. Jen.¡± She looks up again when I call her name. ¡°I don''t hate you. I get why you did what you did. But you still did it. You know what Vance-san was going to do to me.¡± Her whole frame shudders. I have to swallow bile and fear that spikes through my forced calm, before I can continue. ¡°I don''t hate you, but I can''t forgive you for that.¡±

    She gives a defeated nod. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Just... go. I think I need more time.¡± Without another word, she leaves the infirmary. I flop down on my back, my whole body protesting. I cover my face with an arm to block out the light through my eyelids. Alone with Leona, I can finally stop forcing myself to stay composed enough to function. I end up crying and shaking.

    I don''t know what to think anymore. I''m tired and hurt and Jen is... I don''t know, Jen''s gone. I can''t trust her like I used to, and that hurts more than all the bruises combined.

    But even as my consciousness slips away, all I can imagine is Vance''s face, forcing me down. What nearly happened. What I''m still powerless to stop. My life and my body is completely out of my control, and it''s terrifying.

 Chapter 23

    Eventually, the tumultuous and unpleasant dreams fade back to the clinically bare ceiling as my eyes flutter open again. My first breath hurts so much I wish I could just go back to sleep. But Leona''s voice calls me, her face hovering over mine.

    ¡°Seiko, you''re awake,¡± she says softly. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Everything hurts,¡± I groan.

    ¡°I can see that,¡± she quips, and presses a large hand lightly to my chest. ¡°But how do you feel?¡± Of course that''s what she means...

    ¡°I don''t know.¡± My eyes slide to the side, unwilling to meet hers anymore. ¡°I''m hurt. I miss Jen. I wish things could go back to how they were before.¡± I admit things a bit at a time as they come to me. ¡°And... I''m scared. I don''t have any control of my life anymore. I don''t want to live in fear, but it feels like everyone around me wants to hurt me. And it''s only going to get worse. How can I trust anyone like this?¡±

    Leona doesn''t say anything. I almost expect her to remind me I can trust her, but she doesn''t. Probably knows I don''t need reminding. But at the same time... I want her to tell me. To say those words I don''t even need to hear because it would make me feel better. Why would it make me feel better...?

    I start to cry. I don''t even get why, but tears begin to roll from my eyes, my chest heaving, heart clenching. Why does it hurt so much...?

    Leona pulls me into another gentle hug, letting me sob and wail into her chest as she rubs my back soothingly. It helps, I think. When I let it all out, my sobs turn to sniffles, and I slowly pull away again.

    ¡°...Thanks...¡± I murmur.

    ¡°It''s no problem.¡±

    ¡°Hey... Leona...?¡± I speak up uncertainly. I feel so insecure. Even with her here, I feel like if I blink, she''ll disappear and I''ll be all alone again.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± she prompts me. Her face shows nothing but kindness and patience, so unlike the severe military veteran from earlier.

    ¡°You''ll keep protecting me, right? You aren''t going to leave me alone?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± I nod shakily a few times, trying to keep from just panicking right here. ¡°Would you like to burn off the rest of the energy? Would that help you feel safer?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah... I think. Maybe...¡± It would be something, right?

    ¡°Alright, here we go,¡± with gentle words, she takes my hands. She climbs up on top of me, pinning my hands down on the bed above my head.

    I push against her just like usual, but within moments, all the alarms are screaming in my head. I start to thrash under her, head shaking back and forth. ¡°No, please! Stop! No no no let me go!¡± I babble, words and tears and panic overflowing, before Leona reels back, hands up in surrender.

    ¡°I-I''m sorry,¡± she stammers. ¡°I''m sorry Seiko, it''s too soon, isn''t it? I''m sorry for making you panic.¡±

    Once I finally stop hyperventilating, I stutter out a meaningless reply. ¡°N-no, I just, I, I-I. N-no, y-you, I...¡± It takes a while longer before I can actually get my own thoughts in order outside of pure animal terror.

    ¡°Sorry, Leona. I didn''t... As soon as I was...¡±

    She stops me immediately. ¡°No, I''m sorry. I wasn''t thinking. You were just attacked, you have every reason to be sensitive. I''m sorry I made you relive any part of that.¡±

    ¡°But... what do we do now?¡±

    ¡°We''ll find another way to burn the energy off...¡± she starts, before checking her mobile and grimacing. ¡°A-actually...¡± Leona holds a hand to her head. ¡°I''m sorry Seiko, you were out for longer than I thought. I''ve already made Mejja wait too long, do you think you can hold out a little longer?¡±

    So we''re out of time today, and she needs to do the checkup? I shift a little, seeing the darker afternoon light pouring through the window. It was only lunchtime when I was attacked, which means I slept through the rest of school, and some time after that too.

    ¡°...Alright...¡± I can''t get in the way of her job. I need her to help me, I can''t afford to mess things up by getting in the way of her mission somehow.

    ¡°Ok, I''ll try to take it easy. Hang in there, Seiko.¡± She speaks quietly as she gets set up for my daily checkup like usual. Meanwhile, I look down at myself. Underneath the bed sheet, I''m only wearing my undershirt. In fact, weren''t my clothes destroyed? Jen''s vest is lying in a bundle at the end of the bed.

    ¡°Alright, Seiko.¡± Leona''s voice brings my attention back to her. ¡°Nice and easy, now.¡± Instead of simply sliding my shirt aside with a hand, she gently grabs the hem and pulls it up, her movements slow and delicate, like she''s going to break me.

    She follows with my bra, and I''m starting to blush, but I can''t even complain. I feel so vulnerable, and the actions are so similar to what might have happened, that I''m incredibly grateful for her gentler approach than usual.

    ¡°I''m going to touch you now, Seiko,¡± Leona warns me quietly. ¡°Is that alright?¡±

    ¡°Nn,¡± I mumble and nod. She brings her hands down pressing them against my chest and abdomen like usual. However, the touch makes me wince and grunt in pain. My chest is one thing, but I have big, dark bruises forming all across my stomach from the hits I took earlier. Leona''s hand is pressing on them, sending arcs of pain out in every direction.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± she immediately apologizes and draws her hand back a little. Her palm hovers just off my skin instead, as she charges up. Just the air pressing heavily around me is enough to make my entire body throb. The suddenly entrapped feeling sets every hair on end, and my heart pounds.

    I keep telling myself this is fine. Even if I''m partially naked. Even if Leona is touching me like this, it''s completely different. She is not attacking me. Leona would never attack me. She protects me.

    ...Like Jen?

    That thought is all it takes to send me spiraling.

    How am I supposed to know when Leona will turn on me? Betray me? Assault me? Just look at her, she''s already made a habit of pinning me, making me helpless. Stripping me and touching me. It''s just for examinations now, but what if she decides to go further? I already know I can''t stop her. I''ve struggled against her unyielding grip long enough to know that she could do anything she wanted with my body, any time she desired.

    Who cares if she protects me now? It''s just her mission, isn''t it? What happens when that changes? What if she gets new orders? What if Mejja wants to know how I respond to having my body toyed with? Leona would do it because she''s a soldier and follows orders, wouldn''t she?

    When it comes down do it, I don''t really know anything about Leona, do I? She''s from a powerful family. She''s a psion. She was in the military. That''s it. I don''t know jack shit beyond that! It''s not like she ever speaks about herself.

    In a matter of seconds, my entire state of mind has collapsed. It''s just in time for Leona to lean down, pressing her hands against me, bringing her eyes to stare into mine, gaze straight into my terror. The blinding glow of violet overwhelms my vision, and I''m completely crushed, trapped under her unstoppable power, unable to even scream. It flows in, filling me with more power. More weakness. Then it''s over.

    Leona gasps and snaps up again.

    I cry. Pressing my hands up to my face, I cry uncontrollably.

    How am I supposed to trust anyone anymore? No matter who it is, even my best friends will betray me if they''re forced to! And now I''m supposed to rely on Leona? The military psion I don''t know anything about, just to get through my life without being assaulted? Until she betrays me too?

    How am I supposed to live like this?!

    ¡°Seiko! Seiko, are you alright?¡± Leona is looking down at me, half panicked. ¡°Was that too much for you?¡± She reaches out, but draws back when I flinch away from her touch.

    ¡°How can I trust you?! How do I know you won''t betray me too?! Everyone has a price, or a breaking point! How can I trust anyone?!¡± I ramble at her through my tears.

    ¡°S-Seiko...¡±

    I curl into a ball, pressing my head to my knees and clap my hands over my ears. I can''t deal with this! I can''t deal with any of this!

    ¡°Seiko!¡± the booming, point blank shout physically knocks me onto my back, hands falling away from the sides of my head. I''m stunned for a few seconds, Leona appearing above me before I can recover. ¡°Seiko, listen to me. I know you''re hurt, but you can''t just give up on people. Life is messy and no one is perfect.¡±

    She sighs deeply, and in my shock, all I can focus on is her. ¡°I''m not clairvoyant, I can''t see the future. I cannot say with absolute certainty that for the rest of our lives, there is zero chance I will betray you. What I can do is promise, on my honor, that I will protect you. That''s the best any of us can do in this life. Is it still not enough?¡±

    I open my mouth, then close it again. I know she''s right. I think I was just panicking. Of course no one can guarantee perfection. The best we can do is relate our honest intentions, and it''s clear that Leona means it when she says she''ll protect me. She always has before, and without some big shift, there''s no reason for that to change.

    ¡°I''m sorry, Leona-¡±

    ¡°No. There is nothing to apologize for, Seiko,¡± she tells me pointedly. ¡°You''ve been through a traumatic experience and you need time to process it. No one can fault you for feeling unsafe or untrusting after what you have just been through. So, take all the time you need, I will be by your side to keep you safe, whether you can believe me or not.¡±

    ¡°I...¡± I blink at her. I have, haven''t I? I didn''t have anyone last time. I was all alone, with no one to talk to, no one to help me. All I could do was push everything down and try to forget about it. Get strong enough to feel like I had some control over my life again. But it never really went away. All I had was myself. Even when I met Ken, and later Jen, I never told them. I was afraid and ashamed of what happened, and hid it all inside...

    But it''s different now. Losing Jen''s trust feels like a raw wound, but I have so many more friends now than I used to, and I know they won''t laugh or look down on me, just because something bad happened to me. I have no idea how to regain what I''ve lost, but... Well, I think I''ll survive. After all, the worst didn''t happen. It''s a small consolation, but just knowing that he couldn''t even get all my clothes off this time makes me feel a tiny bit better.

    ¡°Seiko?¡± Leona''s question makes me realize I got lost in my own thoughts again.

    I shake my head lightly, noticing the swish of my hair across my back with a small tremble. Putting it from my mind, I look up at her. ¡°Thanks, Leona. I have a lot to think about. I... guess I''ll be relying on you a lot for now. So please take care of me.¡±

    I bow my head and she replies, ¡°Of course.¡±

    After some time, Leona stands, grabbing the vest and handing it to me so I can cover up. I don''t even care that it''s Jen''s. That it''s way too big for me. I don''t care that it''s a girl''s vest, with its oversized blue ribbon around the collar. It''s clothing, and it will keep everyone from seeing my chest.

    Leona extends a hand, holding it out for me to take, to help me up from bed. When I reach for it, but hesitate, she draws her own hand away. Huh? I look up at her, confused. She sees it in my face and frowns.

    ¡°Seiko, I will not pressure you when you are this vulnerable. After what happened, you have to know that your body is your own. No one has any right to touch you or pressure you into any contact you don''t want. If you are not comfortable with it, do not take my hand out of consideration for my feelings.¡±

    ¡°O-oh...¡± No one''s ever said anything like that to me before...

    Leona extends her hand one more time, and I look at it. After some thought, I reach out, and I take it. I get an instant, little rush in my chest when I do. It''s small, but it''s something I chose to do. I get to make some choices about my body at least...

    With gentle pressure, Leona pulls me up from the bed. Our hands stay clasped together a little longer, and we both look at them. With our eyes still on our interlocked hands, Leona explains, ¡°You have the right to withdraw your consent at any time, if you ever become uncomfortable for any reason. Or no reason at all. If you tell me stop, I stop. Tell me to let go, I let go. Do you understand?¡±

    Her eyes move from our hands, drawing my gaze to hers. I nod shakily and mumble, ¡°Nn.¡±

    ¡°Good, let''s head back, alright?¡± I respond with another small mumble, and she gently draws me forward.

    On the way out of the infirmary, we pass the doctor at her desk. Wait, how much of that did she hear? Her face is set, jaw clenched tight, and she doesn''t say anything. Leona tells the doctor we''ll see her tomorrow, and we leave.

    As we walk out of the school building, Leona looks down at me and asks, ¡°Would you like me to carry you?¡±

    Walking hurts so much that I''m limping badly, putting a good deal of my weight on her through our connected hands. But the thought of being carried, completely unable to move on my own...

    I shake my head in a hurry. ¡°Alright,¡± she answers easily, and continues helping me walk, even though we''re moving at a snail''s pace because of me.

    This is weird. Seeing me injured like this, she normally would have swept me up without a word by now. ¡°Hey, Leona? Why are you being so considerate now? You never asked for my consent for anything before...¡±

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    She has to think about that one before she answers. ¡°It wasn''t so important before. I had no trouble touching you casually because I could see it didn''t cause you any distress.¡±

    ¡°Huh? But what about that time you grabbed me in the front of the whole gym class? Or when you pinned me against the wall in the infirmary?¡±

    Leona smirks a little. ¡°Embarrassment and traumatic distress are very different things, Seiko.¡±

    ¡°That...¡± Huh. ¡°That''s fair.¡±

    We keep walking a while longer, and I''m soon regretting not accepting Leona''s offer to carry me. All my muscles burn, and each breath brings a stab of pain from the bruising across my stomach. But I can''t suddenly ask now, can I? Even after I refused earlier?

    ¡°Seiko?¡± Leona prompts me, her eyes telling me she already knows what I want to ask, so I should just say it.

    ¡°Leona... carry me please?¡± My cheeks heat a little when I ask for it myself.

    ¡°Sure.¡± She gently scoops me up into her arms. I settle there for a few seconds, but-

    ¡°No! No, put me down!¡± I flail, chest heaving with sudden, uncontrollable panic. Leona immediately sets me back on my feet, but lets me lean on her while I wait for my hammering heart to calm down.

    ¡°S-sorry-¡±

    ¡°You did nothing wrong,¡± she immediately assures me.

    Right... I said no, so she stopped... That actually makes me feel a little better.

    But... what do I do now?

    ¡°Umm, s-¡± I bite back another apology. Then I blush, staring at Leona''s chin because I can''t meet her eyes, and ask, ¡°C-can I... change my mind again?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± she answers smoothly. ¡°Whenever you like, as many times as you like.¡±

    ¡°...Really?¡±

    ¡°No, you''re only allowed to become uncomfortable having your body handled after forty four and a half seconds, no shorter, no longer.¡± She gives me this look to tell me how absurd that would be.

    ¡°No one else gets to dictate when you can give or withdraw your consent, only you,¡± she finishes warmly. ¡°Now,¡± and she gestures to me.

    I nod stiffly. ¡°You can pick me up again.¡± So she does. Slowly, Leona lifts me back into a princess carry, her strong arms holding me close. My heart rate picks up again, being immobilized in her arms like this, but I''m not trapped. I gave her permission, and if I say no, she''ll stop. I''m safe. This is safe.

    I manage to relax in her arms for a while after that, and she carries me across campus, nice and steady.

    And then I see some students in the distance and suddenly panic again, fighting and scrambling back to the ground like some kind of agitated cat.

    That''s exactly how I feel as I pant for a minute. Like a cat, suddenly not alright with being held for no apparent reason.

    ¡°Sorry, I guess I''m still skittish,¡± I mumble, an arm wrapping around myself protectively.

    ¡°It''s fine, I understand.¡±

    Once more, I ask her to carry me, and we continue across campus to the distant dorm building. It would be much faster if Leona ran, but she''s talking it slow and easy for my sake.

    I panic a few more times as we go, but I''m managing longer periods between attacks when the dorm building appears in the distance. It''s incredible how patient and caring Leona is being. I don''t know if it''s because of what I just went through, or because I lost Jen, or what.

    ¡°Hey, Leona?¡± I speak up quietly from her arms while we close in on the dorms. ¡°Why do you know so much about this stuff? Consent and all that?¡±

    All she does is smile down at me and say, ¡°It''s called ''bodily autonomy.'' It''s your right to decide what happens to your own body. I learned about it in the military, I''ll tell you about that... later.¡± Watching her from so close, it''s impossible to miss the way she glances away as she says it.

    ¡°Oh, sure...¡± Why in the military? Beyond them just going to fight, I don''t have any clear idea of what people actually do in the military And chances are, a high tier psion like her would have a completely different experience from normal people anyway.

    We''re coming up on the dorm when Leona leans down and speaks in a low voice. ¡°Seiko, I don''t want to sugar-coat things. With the way our country is, there are a lot of people who will not respect your bodily autonomy. Those are the people to watch out for.¡±

    ¡°Generally,¡± she goes on with a complicated expression, ¡°it''s men. The ones who have learned not to listen, not to stop, and to keep pushing, using force to get what they want. They are the ones who will get violent when you deny them, who won''t respect your decision when you tell them ''no.''¡±

    ¡°I know exactly what you mean...¡± I murmur sadly. That is exactly how my father acts. How he always told me to be. What I had in my head as ''manly'' was just...

    ''If force doesn''t get you what you want, you aren''t using enough of it.''

    I repeat the line he told me more than a few times, and Leona shows a disgusted expression for a moment before shaking her head. ¡°Yes, that is exactly the sort of thinking that comes out of the military.¡± She scowls down at the grass. ¡°While it''s mostly men, beware of any women who act the same way. They''re just as dangerous, if not more, because you might not see it coming.¡±

    I give a small nod, and it isn''t much longer before we reach the dorms. ¡°Do you want me to take you up?¡± I agree instantly. I don''t feel remotely safe enough to walk through a crowd of men on my own right now. So Leona walks inside, and all eyes immediately turn on us, as always.

    Only this time, I remember that I''m wearing Jen''s vest over my shirt. The thought instantly makes me panic, but between Leona and the all the huge men all around us, I know where I''m safer, and hug as tight to her chest as I can.

    Everyone watches us as we head upstairs and through the third floor common room, then Leona opens my door, and proceeds through the glow of the projector, into the room.

    ¡°Sei!¡± Ken calls out. I have to squint to see him standing from his chair, some other guy lounging on Ken''s bed as they watch whatever movie they have on.

    ¡°H-hey...¡± I mutter. I don''t know what to say or do, and end up not saying much as Leona gently sets me down.

    ¡°We were all worried, like half the class disappeared after lunch!¡± Ken goes on. Half the class? Me, Leona, Jen, Lacey Monasta, Shirla Kaz, Vance, and those two guys...? Even if not everyone''s from our class, that''s still a lot of people to vanish at once...

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡±

    ¡°We all heard that announcement too, did something happen?¡± Of course, he''s walked up and started to look me over, so he stops when he notices the oversized girl''s vest I''m wearing, and raises an eyebrow.

    Leona steps in to explain since I clearly can''t. ¡°A group of bullies targeted Seiko during lunch.¡±

    ¡°Wha?!¡± he gasps. ¡°What happened? Are you alright?¡± When he leans down closer, I flinch back on reflex. Ken catches it, his hands clenching into fists. ¡°Who was it?¡±

    ¡°Three members of our class, two from another class,¡± Leona reports. ¡°I dealt with them. When they return from the hospital, don''t expect to see them in our class anymore.¡±

    Ken deflates with clearly apparent relief. ¡°So you were there, thank goodness. What about Jen? Wasn''t she with Seiko?¡±

    ¡°Corro-san-¡± I put a hand up to stop her, and Leona cuts short whatever she was going to say.

    ¡°I... Some stuff happened with Jen and I''m really mad at her right now ¨C that''s why she couldn''t help me. I don''t really want to talk about it.¡± Even with what she did, I don''t hate her, and I don''t want to tell everyone and have it ruin all her friendships with the rest of our group. I turn a look to Leona to let her know we aren''t talking about Jen with the others, and she nods.

    ¡°Mm, alright,¡± Ken agrees reluctantly. ¡°What about that?¡± and points at my top.

    ¡°Right, yeah,¡± I sigh. ¡°Long story, it''s Jen''s.¡± There''s some other guy here, trying to stay very still and avoid interrupting our conversation as he sits on Ken''s bed, so I go over to my dresser, keeping my back to him so he won''t see anything. I pull off Jen''s vest and throw on a big hoodie before turning around and passing the top to Leona. ¡°Give that back to Jen?¡± I ask lightly, and she agrees.

    Then I look up at Ken again. ¡°I''m sorry, I''m really tired and everything hurts, can we talk about this more later?¡±

    ¡°Sure, Sei.¡± With a small word and a wave, Leona goes, and I lie down in bed, grabbing a candy plushie and squeezing it close to my chest under the covers. I want to go to sleep and think about all this later.

    But... I can''t fall asleep. Ken eventually returns to watching a familiar action movie I''ve seen a dozen times before. The sound doesn''t bother me, it''s the other guy in our room. I can''t relax at all with him there. What if he did something to me in my sleep?

    No, that''s dumb, Ken wouldn''t let him. But what if Ken leaves to get a drink, or goes to the toilet? It would only take a few seconds...

    But why would he even do that, it doesn''t make any sense! Normal people don''t just attack you out of nowhere! But how do I know he''s normal and not like Vance? No, even if he is, he thinks I''m a guy!

    I end up arguing with myself like that in silence, heart beating hard and fast, nervous sweat breaking out all over my body. Was it always so hot under my blankets?

    Oh god, this is going to be a rough night...

    I eventually roll over and check my mobile and try to take my mind off all of that.

    ¡°Geh...¡± I have over a dozen missed calls. From my parents...

    Seeking any amount of privacy, I go into the wash room and close the door behind me, blocking out almost all the noise from the TV ¨C thank god for sound proof doors.

    Groaning, as much from what I have to do as my battered body, I press the call button. The line connects almost immediately. What, was she waiting over the phone?

    ¡°Seiko, is that you? What happened? We got a call from the school, they said you got in a fight!¡± Got in a fight? Seriously?!

    And then I remember the school administrator, and groan right into the mobile. ¡°Was it the school administration? A woman?¡±

    ¡°Yes, she said her name was Janice Monasta. What happened, sweetie?¡±

    ¡°Of course it was her,¡± I frown at the floor. ¡°Don''t listen to anything she says, she''s basically evil.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡± Mom sputters.

    ¡°Her daughter was the one leading the bullies that attacked me, and they did it by blackmailing my friend using her authority as a school administrator. She even tried blaming me for defending myself after we fought the bullies off.¡±

    I''m massively generalizing, but I think she gets the point. Just thinking about it, seeing it all flash before my eyes again is making it hard to breathe. But I choke it down and hold myself together for my mom''s sake.

    ¡°That''s...¡± as expected, she has no idea how to respond to all of that. ¡°Well, as long as you''re alright. You said you fought them off? I''m so proud of you, Seiko, you''re so much stronger than you used to be. I can''t wait to see how much bigger you''ve gotten-¡±

    ¡°S-stop. Please Mom, stop,¡± my voice breaks into the phone when my forced calm cracks. I can''t take her talking like that, not now. Not after today.

    ¡°Seiko, what''s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I didn''t, Mom. I-I tried, but I couldn''t stop them.¡± I see Vance over me again, and I''m shaking. The arms holding me from behind. ¡°They held me down and- and they- t-they were going t-to- they- they were-¡± His hands touching me.

    I can''t say it. My thoughts are scattering. ¡°M-my friend came and- and s-saved me.¡± Why am I telling her this? Won''t she be disappointed? It feels so good though, letting it out instead of suffering silently this time.

    But won''t it just be worse when she rejects me? Tells me I''m not good enough as I am and need to man up? Magically become less of a woman that men like Vance can attack at will?

    ¡°Oh, Seiko, sweetie...¡± Mom''s voice shudders, and I can hear her holding back tears. ¡°You''re alright now though, aren''t you?¡±

    That''s all it takes.

    ¡°No! No, Mom, I''m not ok!¡± I cry, ¡°I''m scared!¡± I grit my teeth, crouching into a ball as tears fill my eyes. ¡°I can''t sleep because there''s some guy hanging out with Ken! I don''t feel safe in my own room!¡± Crying hurts, all my sore muscles are screaming at me for it.

    ¡°Seiko, shh, calm down honey, it''ll be fine. You''re safe now. Kentan-kun is there, right? You''ve always been safe with Kentan-kun. Just stay with him, everything will be alright.¡± Unbelievably, her voice remains steady and soothing.

    ¡°Nn,¡± I sob into the phone. But will it? Things are different between us now that I''m a girl. And Ken has a girlfriend. I can''t hang on him for protection all the time anymore, can I? Do I even have a choice? My only other option is Leona, but she isn''t here.

    ¡°Go give him the phone, alright? Can you do that?¡±

    ¡°Nn.¡± Slowly, I get myself to stand again, wiping at my eyes repeatedly, but it isn''t doing any good. The tears won''t stop. ¡°I-I''ll get Ken...¡±

    I leave the wash room, trying to ignore the looks I get from the other guy when he sees my crying face. I try to approach Ken, but I can''t take it. I can''t even walk past the other man. Ken is halfway on his feet when I throw my mobile at him and dive back into my bed for some semblance of safety.

    Ken flails, juggling the plastic brick until he gets a good hold of it, turning an irritated look my way as I hide under my blanket, before he checks the screen, and his eyes go wide. He puts the mobile up to his ear.

    ¡°H-hello, Kentan speaking?¡± he says it like a question. He only listens for a few seconds before the confusion disappears, replaced with concern, and he looks my way. What is she telling him?

    ¡°Yeah, of course. Alright, bye.¡± Then he looks over at the other guy in the room and says, ¡°Hey, Blumen-san, I''ve got something to do.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure. See you later, Yono-san.¡± The man sends one more look my way, and I curl up further under my blankets. Then he waves and leaves.

    Ken is immediately next to my bedside.

    ¡°Sei, are you alright? Your mom said something''s seriously wrong, what''s up?¡±

    I''m still bundled up under my blanket, only my eyes peeking out at him. ¡°I''m scared,¡± I admit. ¡°What happened today... Vance-san, he...¡±

    The more I think about it, the worse it gets. Who cares that he never got to skin? Who cares that Leona saved me before he had a chance to physically play with my body? It was never about that, was it? The damage was already done the moment he had me helpless before him. It''s the knowledge that there''s nothing I could possibly do to stop him that scares me the most.

    ¡°He molested me...¡± I can''t even look up to see Ken''s response. ¡°I''m so scared now. Men are terrifying. Any one of them could do the same thing. I can''t feel safe anymore, and I have no idea what to do about it...¡±

    ¡°Sei, you''re safe with me,¡± Ken says, patting the blanket. It makes me flinch underneath, my whole body locking up, panic overflowing in an instant.

    ¡°B-but you''re a guy too! What do I do if y-you decide to-!¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on,¡± he sighs. ¡°I''ve seen you naked a dozen times. I''m not going to push down my best friend, am I?¡±

    ¡°You...¡± he''s right. I know he''s right, as soon as I stop spinning.

    ¡°Even Leona''s more likely to push you down than I am,¡± Ken points out. Then, ¡°Actually, she''s the one who pushes you down the most, isn''t she?¡± he jokes.

    I actually crack a little smile through my tears. ¡°Y-yeah, you''re right. She does push me down all the time...¡± And I feel safe with her anyway, because I know she respects me and she would stop if I told her to.

    But what about Ken...?

    ¡°Hey, umm, Ken?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± he asks softly.

    ¡°Could you... hold my hand?¡± Just that much doesn''t feel too dangerous...

    ¡°Sure?¡± He doesn''t look like he gets it, but he holds his hand out anyway. I hesitantly place mine in his, and we hold hands briefly.

    ¡°Stop. Stop now,¡± I stammer out a little, and he releases me. I gulp down a few quick breaths of air. ¡°A-again.¡±

    Ken keeps playing along as I let him take my hand again. Then stop. Then take it again, then stop again. With the third iteration, he''s frowning at me slightly.

    ¡°Alright, Sei, what''s this about exactly?¡± he asks, clearly running a little thin on patience.

    I huddle down more in my blanket. ¡°...You stop when I tell you to stop...¡±

    At first, he doesn''t get it.

    Then he does.

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    He doesn''t have anything more to say after that. He just opens his arms to let me know I can hug him if I want. So I do. I leave the safety of my blanket, and hug myself up against Ken''s huge body.

    Yes, this is the friend who''s always with me, who protects me. Who is safe. Who I can be safe with. I start to cry. But this time, it''s not just sadness and pain. There''s also relief. Sweet relief that there are still safe places for me. I have Ken and Leona. It''s not much, but it''s something.

    I don''t remember much after that. Ken rocks me back and forth, and I think I end up crying myself to sleep against his chest.

 Chapter 24

    -Point of View: Shina Maka-

    ''What am I even doing here?'' I wonder to myself for the hundredth time. It''s been, what, more than twenty years since I last set foot in a high school? I never imagined I would make the trip here to see Seiko, rather than the other way around, that''s for sure.

    I''m actually pretty surprised this is even working. I had some serious doubts, going into the school''s administration office to scream at the lady working there about my son calling me last night in the middle of a mental breakdown thanks to her own daughter. Miraculously, it worked out, and I was actually granted admission to go see him instead of, say, a police escort off the campus.

    I was very concerned when she mentioned that the bullies were hospitalized though. From a simple fight? What sort of dangerous friends is Seiko making here? I don''t remember any of the men being that aggressive during my time in high school, have things really changed that much? It couldn''t have been Kentan, not from the way Seiko spoke, so it must have been some new friend.

    Whatever the case, my son went through something horrific, so I''m here for him. I have his room number from the administration office, so I go straight to the men''s dorm, flashing my guest pass at the suspicious staff member, and proceeding upstairs. I took the shuttle so early this morning, the sun wasn''t up yet. Even now, dawn is just breaking. Surely, on a Saturday morning, most boys their age won''t be up for another hour or two.

    With a sense of nostalgia, I opt for the stairs. Even if it''s the other dorm, everything is just like I remember from my time here. The same yellowing paint in the stairwell, the same scruffy carpets. Well, the carpets may or may not be the same color as they were, that detail has clearly slipped from my memory over the years.

    I make it to the third floor and cross the nearly empty common room, one boy half-comatose in front of a TV, making me wonder whether he slept out here last night. When I arrive in front of the correct door, I knock a few times, and wait patiently. They probably need to wake up, so I let them take their time.

    With a swish, the door opens, and I''m met with the tall form of Kentan filling the doorway. He looks down at me, mouth opening slightly in surprise, and begins to turn back, drawing my eyes across the room, to my son sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

    At least, that should be my son. He''d only barely hit his growth spurt before heading off to school, so I expected the intervening months to show some changes, but what I see is...

    There''s no square cut in his jaw like his father, no angles to his cheeks. If anything, the little changes around his face and eyes make him look even more feminine than I remember. And that''s with bruising on his cheeks, and a black eye...

    Not to mention, his hair falls down his back now, not just to his shoulders. It''s only been a couple months, did it always grow that fast?

    Seiko soon bolts up out of bed when he sees me, and I am grateful to see that he seems a little taller at least. He''s wearing a big black hoodie, which completely obscures any changes he might have had to his arms and shoulders, though if what I''ve already seen is any indication, I''m not expecting much there either. Did he sleep in that thing?

    I watch my son take a few halting steps toward me from across his room, dumbfounded by the changes I see. Is it just that he takes after me that much? He''s my spitting image, just like I looked at his age. Well, a few years younger since he''s a such late bloomer, but it''s downright shocking. If I wasn''t his mother, I definitely wouldn''t be able to tell he''s male.

    I hide my frown at that realization. I know how sensitive he has always been about his feminine appearance, so the last thing I want to do is mention that after his recent bully trouble.

    ¡°Mom...¡± Seiko says experimentally, still approaching like he''s wary. Like he doesn''t believe his eyes. Hearing his voice in person is jarring. It was one thing over the phone, where I could attribute it to call quality or interference, but now it''s abundantly clear that the pitch is higher, the overall quality more soft and female.

    Again, I bury any reaction to that realization, and smile warmly. Whatever he''s going through, he''s still my precious son. After he comes nearly to the door and Kentan steps aside, Seiko finally smiles, and throws himself into me without any hesitation.

    He''s so small and light, I barely fall back a step as his entire weight lands against me. I wrap my arms around him, and he''s immediately crying into my chest like a small child. Seeing him like this evokes another shock of pain and rage. People did this to him. To my son. They hurt him this badly.

    I''m still not sure I understand. Seiko wasn''t exactly clear, how he sobbed and cried over the phone. What exactly did the bullies do to him? What could make him this distraught? Ever since he reached middle school, he actually seemed pretty stoic when it came to dealing with bullies. He acted like they wouldn''t be able to touch him anymore. Was it his reliance on his friends that gave him that confidence? Was that confidence broken when he couldn''t hold his own and got beaten up?

    I lightly caress the bruise on one cheek with my thumb, letting my little boy cry his heart out. No matter how old he gets, he really will always be my little boy, won''t he? While he cries and we slowly migrate into the dorm room, I send looks around at their living conditions.

    Beds, desks, bookshelves. Pretty much what I would expect from the dorms. Probably what I had back then too. They do have a TV projector mounted up on the ceiling though, it looks like they set it up themselves. Besides that, I glance at his clothing bin. It''s not overflowing, so he''s taking care of his laundry properly. The floor is clean too, so they''re living neatly enough. I nod faintly in approval, then return my attention to my crying child.

    I shuffle him over in my arms, to sit down at the edge of the bed. He still has a whole pile of plush toys; I hope those aren''t the sort of habits that brought the bullies down on him... I bring a hand up to stroke the back of his head, and immediately notice how silky soft his hair is. I wish my hair still felt like this, age hasn''t done it any favors... Why is it so long though? He always said it looked cool, but even the most eccentric male rock stars don''t grow their hair all the way down their backs. There''s no way to look at it except extremely feminine.

    Sometimes, I wonder if I''ll ever understand my son. He has been almost obsessed with wanting to be stronger and manlier than any other child, to be like his father, pretty much since he began attending school and interacting with other children. Yet at the same time, he indulges in clearly feminine behavior, hobbies, even his appearance. What is going on in that head of his? Is there some disconnect between the masculinity he desires and the actual actions he takes that don''t bring him any closer to that desire?

    Maybe he''s afraid he won''t live up to Albert''s expectations? He can be such a hard man to please sometimes, I could imagine Seiko being scared by that. He''s always been so sensitive after all.

    When Seiko has mostly cried himself out, still sniffling with his head buried against me, I turn to Kentan, hoping to get a clearer picture of things. ¡°So, Kentan-kun, Seiko wasn''t entirely clear about things on the phone yesterday. Could you explain what happened to...?¡± However, just as I''m asking my question, the door slides open, and I end up trailing off at the end as I turn that way.

    There''s a woman standing in the doorway. Older than Seiko, probably eighteen. An upperclassman? But how did she open their door?

    Our eyes meet, and she blinks at me, dumbfounded, despite her carefully neutral expression. She has remarkable self-control for a girl her age. Then the confusion is gone, and she steps forward confidently.

    ¡°Maka-san, I take it?¡± she asks, and when I nod, she introduces herself. ¡°I am Leona Vicca, from Seiko''s class.¡±

    ¡°Seiko?¡± I arch a brow at her. She''s that close to my son? After hardly a few months at school?

    ¡°Yes, I''d say we''re pretty close friends,¡± she explains with a tiny nod.

    ¡°Friends? You aren''t dating?¡± I ask, knowing full well students their age like to hide such things from parents out of a newfound desire for privacy. I certainly know I did. Well, that, and to avoid my own father beating all of my boyfriends out of his fatherly desire to protect his daughter.

    However, Vicca''s answer is a simple, ¡°No.¡± No fluster, embarrassment, or even outrage that I would assume such a thing. Just a ''no.'' It''s actually kind of suspicious having so little reaction to such a question at her age...

    Wait, didn''t she say she''s from his class? At her age, that means- ¡°You''re from the military.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Alright...¡± I bob my head carefully. A female military veteran her age would be pretty strange in the head. How did she become friends with Seiko though?

    ¡°Maka-san,¡± Kentan finally cuts into our brief conversation as Vicca walks over and the door closes behind her. ¡°You wanted to to know about yesterday.¡± He gestures over and says, ¡°Vicca-san is the one who saved Sei.¡± Oh, now that makes a lot of sense. Thank goodness he''s made a strong friend like her. Even if she''s female, I''d expect her to be stronger than most, like Albert.

    While considering that, I pose the same question as earlier, to Vicca this time.

    She doesn''t mince words. She doesn''t sugar-coat it at all. ¡°Seiko was molested. The school administrator said it couldn''t legally be deemed sexual assault because I stopped them before they got all of Seiko''s clothing off.¡±

    Seiko whimpers in response to her words, huddling closer against me. I don''t even know how to respond. On one hand, there''s a fury burning inside me. They did that to my son?! But at the same time, I''m missing something. Something like that wouldn''t be so bad for a man like him, would it? Nothing like it would be for a woman...

    Could that be why? He already had so much trouble with his masculinity, could an experience like that make him feel like less of a man?

    Then she leans down, close to his side in my arms. ¡°Seiko, I''m going to tell her, is that alright?¡± She asks the vague question. Whatever it means, Seiko tearily nods.

    ¡°I should also point out-¡± With permission, Vicca suddenly goes on, her tone dark. ¡°The primary culprit was a boy in our class named Bolin Vance.¡± Wasn''t that a boy from town? They were always in school together. He might even have been one of Seiko''s childhood bullies... I nod to show my understanding. ¡°Vance-san already sexually assaulted Seiko once, when Seiko was a young child.¡±

    He... as a child?

    Seiko starts crying again, big, shaking tears, as he hugs me like the world is ending. With a sting in my own eyes, I cover my mouth.

    I had no idea. I knew he was bullied, but he never said anything about that. Could that have been why- No, of course it was! Those years he would hardly let anyone touch him. And now the same boy did that to him again? No wonder why he''s gone to pieces! It''s a good thing that boy is already in the hospital!

    We all wait a while longer for Seiko to calm down again. I don''t know what to do for him here. How do I console him after someone tore open all his old wounds?

    ¡°Let''s go eat,¡± I decide. Even if I''m totally lost, food is always a good place to start.

    ¡°Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.¡± Vicca agrees, and Kentan nods too. When I look down at Seiko, he mumbles an agreement. We get up, and by the time we make it to the door, I can feel him leaning on me heavily. If he wasn''t so small, it might be an issue.

    However, he freezes at the doorway, looking down at himself with a strange sense of panic. He''s still wearing a big black hoodie along with his uniform pants, which he must have slept in. I can''t even fault him for it in this situation. Besides, I''d expect at least a little slovenly behavior at this point. It is his first time living away from home.

    ¡°I-I''m sorry, can you give me a minute? I need to change.¡± Well, that''s a surprise, not slovenly at all...

    ¡°Of course, we''ll wait outside.¡± Vicca speaks for us, and it takes a moment to realize she means me too. I follow the kids out into the hall, but this just feels silly. I changed his diapers, nothing could possibly phase me. And why is Kentan waiting with us?

    No, it''s probably more for him. He looked to be in a lot of pain, so he probably doesn''t want anyone to see all the bruises.

    It''s still pretty quiet, but more faces are appearing in the halls. We did spend a while just letting Seiko cry.

    Oh my, what do they feed the boys here? They''re even bigger than I remember them being in my day... I''m still wondering about that when Seiko emerges.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    The only visible change is a swap from his uniform pants to some awful baggy jeans. He''s still wearing that big hoodie over his shirt. I just hope he''s remembering to change his underwear once in a while, boys his age have the worst hygiene, and I hope I raised him better than that.

    Unlike before, he goes to Vicca instead of me. Or even Kentan, it seems.

    With some silent exchange, Seiko takes her arm, like he''s leaning most of his weight on her as he limps, face screwed up in pain. As we start walking, Vicca leans down and whispers something in his ear. He considers it, then shakes his head. What are they being so secretive about...?

    I decide to leave it to them. He''s an adult now, so he needs his space. If there''s something he really needs me for, he''ll let me know, obviously. I wouldn''t be here right now otherwise.

    When we reach the common room, there are more students than I expected. I try to take a little distance because I know the kind of teasing and bullying school kids get up to over things like this, even in high school. Especially in high school.

    With that in mind, I stick closer to Kentan since I know he has nothing to worry about, and speak to him quietly, just thanking him for helping Seiko last night. Too quiet for the other boys to overhear, but enough to keep some distance from my son. I''m surprised that despite my presence, so clearly out of place, there are still so many eyes directed at Seiko. That is... worrying...

    Given Seiko''s condition, he takes the lift, and I head for the stairs with Kentan. He seems confused as we descend, so I quietly clue him in that I''m trying to avoid drawing any more bullies to Seiko, hoping it will help him play along a little better, if necessary.

    We reach the doors out the front of the building, and I''m still keeping some distance when a scrawny boy with black hair approaches, coming from the direction of the girl''s dormitory.

    ¡°H-hey, Maka-chan, there you are,¡± he says, like he''s slightly winded, ¡°I couldn''t find you anywhere.¡±

    Chan? He isn''t trying to bully Seiko right now, is he? My hackles start to rise, but to my surprise, Seiko doesn''t appear to mind it. He clings a little closer to Vicca, but offers an unexpectedly casual response.

    ¡°Gon-san? You were looking for me?¡± Then I catch Kentan facepalming out of the corner of my eye. Is there something I''m missing here?

    ¡°You never came back to class yesterday. We were assigned group projects for bio. We got paired up, so I had to go looking for you.¡± Oh, a classmate of his. Why does he refer to Seiko like that though, is it a friendly thing? I wouldn''t expect Seiko to be alright with it...

    ¡°So, is there some time we could go over it this weekend?¡± the boy asks.

    ¡°Well, I''m going out to breakfast right now...¡± For some reason, Seiko throws a glance my way, and I raise my hands to say ''don''t let me get in your way.''

    Gon notices and his eyes shift in this direction, before Seiko asks, ¡°Want to come with us?¡±

    The boy looks uncomfortable for a moment, but then answers, ¡°Sure, why not?¡± anyway. We all set off, and once we''re a respectable distance from the dorms, we draw together more.

    ¡°So, who is this?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Trace Gon-san. He sits behind me in class,¡± Seiko explains.

    ¡°And you are...?¡± Gon asks hesitantly.

    ¡°Excuse me, I''m Seiko''s mother. I''m only here because of... an incident yesterday.¡± I leave it at that since I really don''t want to go around spreading word of what happened to him. Even though I''m sure it will get around on its own. Gossip tends to do that.

    ¡°Oh, I heard that announcement yesterday,¡± he thinks aloud, ¡°what, did you get bullied or something?¡± Gon asks, gesturing to refer to Seiko''s bruised face and black eye.

    ¡°Something like that...¡± Seiko''s face falls, and Ken immediately steps in to help.

    ¡°We''re trying not to talk about it too much, we''re working on cheering Sei up right now. Besides, I would''ve thought the rumors would be all over campus already.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I don''t really pay attention to that stuff...¡± Gon scratches his cheek. ¡°Just, I don''t know, never really liked gossip...¡±

    Ken blinks down at him in surprise. ¡°Wait, so you don''t know about any of the rumors?¡±

    ¡°Not really, no.¡± What rumors is he talking about...?

    ¡°Fine, fine, that''s cool,¡± Ken immediately waves it off and changes topic. ¡°Anyway, I''m Kentan Yono, I sit behind you, and this is Leona Vicca-san, seat two.¡± He gives that quick introduction and Gon simply nods, probably already knowing them.

    ¡°So where are we going to eat?¡± Ken eventually asks as we approach the transport terminal. ¡°Sei?¡±

    ¡°I don''t know, anywhere''s fine, I guess.¡±

    I pull out my mobile, and a quick search finds a nearby breakfast place I know Seiko will enjoy. I plug that in as our destination, and we board the next shuttle that arrives.

    It''s crowded, with a whole bunch of students bumping shoulders. I wind up mixing in with them, the odd one out, while I note that Vicca has Seiko up against one wall, shielding him from the other students.

    She certainly is protective of him, are they really not dating? How do they know each other, and how did they get so close so quickly? My mother instincts are already telling me they could be a good, if extremely non-traditional, couple. Almost an exact reversal of Albert and me.

    That might not sit well with Seiko though. As the man of the relationship, he would want to be the stronger of the two. That would be hard for him normally, nigh impossible if his wife is a military veteran...

    Those are the sorts of things I consider until we arrive at the mall and everyone piles out onto the sidewalk. Oh yeah, that brings back memories...

    I smile wistfully as the students depart, before taking a seat in the now-empty shuttle as it speeds off to our destination.

    Everyone else settles in for the ride as well, Seiko ending up directly between Kentan and Vicca. Any closer and they''d squish him between them. I''m across, a short distance from Gon.

    ¡°So, what have you kids been up to lately?¡±

    ¡°Adults now, actually,¡± Ken puffs his chest up playfully, then laughs. ¡°But really, it''s mostly the same. We''ve made friends with two girls in our class and we all hang out during breaks. We''ve been going to Jostole on the weekends because there''s a great cafe there to hang out at.¡±

    I smile, nodding along with his description. It sounds like they''re doing pretty well so far.

    ¡°Yeah, I really like the place,¡± Gon agrees, getting confused looks from Seiko and Kentan.

    ¡°You know the place?¡±

    ¡°W-well, yeah, I go there all the time.¡±

    Then Vicca speaks up. ¡°What you didn''t notice? Gon-san has been there every time we went. He''s always at the table near the far wall.¡±

    ¡°Oh, uhh, sorry Gon-san,¡± I never noticed you over there,¡± Kentan apologizes, scratching a hand through his spiky hair.

    ¡°It''s fine, you guys are always having so much fun, I wouldn''t want to interrupt. I just like watching anyway.¡±

    ¡°Watching?¡± When I raise a confused question, Kentan explains that they also have an area for cosplay and a great variety of outfits available.

    ¡°Huh, that certainly is a unique concept,¡± I comment.

    The conversation naturally breaks off there when we pull up to our destination. Everyone gets off and we head into the restaurant.

    At first glance, it''s a homey, side of the road stop, for anyone who gets hungry while traveling, like on longer trips. Warm lighting, faux wooden paneling on all the walls and partitions between booths. It has an almost rustic feel as we approach the little reception stand.

    That is, until we find no one at reception. Another glance around the empty building reveals it''s just an auto-restaurant, so we move past and take a booth near the back.

    This time, Seiko sits between Vicca and myself, Kentan and Gon on the opposite side. It''s a bit tight with all three of us, but clearly this is the best arrangement. Both of the other boys are larger, so they fill their own side too.

    We all take a minute to place our orders on our mobiles, then wait for the food to come out.

    ¡°Sorry, sweetie, I didn''t realize this was an auto,¡± I sigh. I''ve never been fond of the places, food made by a machine is just missing something compared to food that comes from human hands.

    ¡°It''s fine, it''s not really about the food.¡± He leans into my side a little more, and I smile. I raised a good kid.

    ¡°What about you?¡± I ask when I remember. ¡°Did you start learning to cook?¡±

    His whole face brightens. ¡°Yeah, I did actually. I''m not very good yet, but I''ve been practicing, and we''ve made a few meals with everyone. Runa-chan taught me a lot when we cooked together.¡±

    ¡°Oh, by the way,¡± Kentan pipes up excitedly, ¡°me and Runa are dating now!¡±

    ¡°Good for you, Kentan-kun!¡± I chirp. ¡°Runa-chan is such a nice girl.¡± I''m going to have a lot to talk about with the rest of the neighborhood parents when I go home. Hehehe...

    Holding back those thoughts, I decide to play the wise elder who gets to embarrass the young ones.

    ¡°Just remember to stay safe,¡± I advise, of course knowing he''ll understand.

    Right on cue, Kentan blushes, as do the rest of them, even the somewhat older Vicca. I smile to myself. The government can say whatever it wants, they''re practically still babies to me.

    Kentan recovers astonishingly quickly though. ¡°Yes, of course,¡± he responds seriously, before his tone softens. ¡°Besides, we''re still just figuring things out, so we''re going to take our time.¡±

    ¡°Oohh, how mature,¡± I comment, honestly surprised. Not such a baby after all, huh. The men I dated wanted one thing, and they wanted it as quickly and as easily as possible. Albert was simply the best at getting what he wanted.

    ¡°W-well, I don''t know,¡± he chuckles a little. ¡°We don''t really know what we''re doing, and we both know it. Our first life skills classes aren''t until next quarter anyway.¡±

    Of course, he''s referring to the section of the high school curriculum that focuses on the necessary, practical skills for surviving in the adult world. Everything from military education, to law, to how to do taxes. If I remember correctly, first years cover sex-ed, driving, and self-sufficiency. I wonder if the driving courses have finally been phased out...?

    ¡°Mm, that''s understandable,¡± I shrug. ¡°I''m just glad you have the sense to look before you leap. God knows most men don''t.¡±

    ¡°A-ahh...¡± he continues to chuckle awkwardly. I suppose I''ve embarrassed them enough, so I relent. It isn''t much longer before our food arrives anyway.

    We all dig in, and for a while there''s no discussion, just the comfortable sounds of eating. I keep an eye on Seiko, glad to see he actually looks happy again. Maybe a little too happy as he digs into a plate full of fruit and syrup smothered waffles, but I''m certainly not complaining.

    When we''re mostly finished, just drinks and a few scraps of food left, Gon finally speaks up. ¡°Thanks for inviting me,¡± he starts.

    ¡°Yeah, you''re welcome, Seiko smiles back, actually looking comfortable and content. But for some reason, Gon suddenly gets flustered and red in the face.

    ¡°R-right, so umm, about our bio project, I wanted to know what you thought about doing it on the echidna. I think it''s a pretty cool animal and we could probably put together a presentation without much trouble...¡±

    I sit back as the boys chat about their school project. It''s so nice to see Seiko step out of his shell with someone other than his few friends. Even moreso after his breakdown earlier. I can''t remember the last time I saw him cry so much...

    When it sounds like they''re finishing up their discussion, I tune back in.

    ¡°So, I guess I''ll see you tomorrow to work on it,¡± Gon is saying. ¡°Library at ten?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I''ll...¡± Suddenly, Seiko cringes a little, immediately turning to look at Vicca for some reason. She nods, and he hastily confirms he''ll be there. Really, what in the world is going on between these two?

    We leave soon after, and I quietly pull Kentan aside to ask him about it.

    ¡°Sei and Vicca-san? Well...¡± He looks away, making it abundantly clear that he knows, but doesn''t want to tell me.

    ¡°Fine, I get it. Just tell me, it''s nothing harmful, dangerous, or illegal, is it?¡±

    ¡°Huh? Of course not.¡±

    ¡°Then it''s fine. As long as Seiko is safe and happy.¡± For some reason, Kentan frowns. ¡°What is it?¡±

    He bites his lip, suddenly conflicted. But all he says is, ¡°Sorry, Maka-san. I''m sure Sei will talk about it when... when he''s ready. Just be patient please? He''s going through a lot.¡±

    ¡°That''s fine,¡± I sigh. He should know he can tell me anything, but if he''s still not comfortable, I''m willing to wait.

    After a quick shuttle trip back to the school, we all stand at the terminal briefly. Seiko is still leaning heavily on Vicca, Kentan and Gon a short distance away.

    ¡°Well, I suppose it''s about time I head back, it''s a pretty long ride after all and your father will get cranky without food,¡± I joke. It''s funny because it''s true.

    I move forward, pulling Seiko into a hug and kiss his forehead. ¡°I know things are hard, and I know they can be scary sometimes, but you''re so strong, I know you can get through it.¡±

    Even if he''s not as big as the other boys, he has a strong heart. ¡°You''re already getting taller, if you just keep fighting, it''ll all turn out alright. You are your father''s son after all.¡±

    I finish with a smile, but Seiko can only offer a weak one in return. At the same time, I hear a ¡°Huh?¡± from Gon, who is looking around at everyone else, extremely confused by something. I''m more concerned with Seiko''s lacking response though. ¡°Sweetie?¡±

    ¡°S-sorry, could you, umm, not tell Dad about what happened? Or I guess, any of this? Please?¡±

    ¡°Seiko, your father loves you and wants what''s best for you.¡±

    Seiko''s face falls. Why would he hide things from Albert? He''s done nothing but try to make Seiko better. Even if Seiko didn''t listen most of the time, when he did, it worked, didn''t it?

    I don''t understand, but one look at his face, like he''s a second from crying, is heartbreaking.

    ¡°Please Mom, I can''t,¡± he pleads. ¡°Not Dad, I just, I can''t...¡± I don''t get it, can''t what? Why is he so distraught? What does his father have to do with it?

    ¡°Fine,¡± I give in. ¡°I won''t tell your father about this.¡± I may not understand, but it''s clear that it would hurt Seiko, so I''ll go along with it. However- ¡°On one condition.¡± He looks up, a hint of fear in his eyes. I can''t take seeing him like that, so I hurry up to explain. ¡°One call each weekend.¡± That dispels the fear. ¡°Tell me how things are going, alright?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Thanks, Mom.¡± We pull together into another tight embrace, but I can hear my shuttle approaching, so I try to wrap things up.

    Speaking over his head, I address the others. ¡°It was nice seeing you again, Kentan-kun, and meeting you, Vicca-chan, Gon-kun.¡± I glance back as the shuttle rolls up. Rubbing Seiko''s head, I smile and say, ¡°That''s my ride. Please, keep taking care of my son from now on too.¡± Kentan and Vicca smile warmly and nod, but Gon is staring at me with a dumbfounded look. What an awkward boy... I send a wave back as I move quickly to board the shuttle before I miss it.

 Chapter 25

    -Point of View: Seiko Maka-

    Mom''s shuttle rolls off, everyone waving as it disappears down the road. Once she''s gone, an unexpected voice raises.

    ¡°Uhhh...¡± Gon looks around at us as we turn to him. ¡°I''m sorry but, uhh, is Maka-chan''s mother, umm...¡± his voice trails off as he makes a ''crazy'' gesture. What?! Where is this coming from?! I start to bristle at the insult, but he doesn''t... look like he''s trying to be insulting. If anything, he seems uncomfortable asking.

    ¡°W-why?¡± I challenge.

    ¡°Well, you know, she suddenly just, uhh, started calling you a guy for some reason...?¡±

    Silence.

    Then, ¡°W-wait, you think I''m a girl?¡± I stammer, red in the face, my emotions flip-flopping all over the place.

    ¡°Yes?¡± He cocks his head at me like he doesn''t know how else to answer.

    ¡°Why?¡± It''s only dawning on me right now that through that entire breakfast out, Gon has been thinking of me as a girl. In front of my mother. If he''d said one wrong word...

    Gon glances around, like he''s searching Ken and Leona''s faces for some answer. ¡°W-well, uhh, because you are? I mean, is this a trick question? How do I even...¡± Going bright red in the face, he says, ¡°W-well, you''re pretty, and, umm, you look really nice in dresses, and I like your hair...¡± His voice quickly sinks down below the level of audible as he speaks, but what he does say is so embarrassing I have to press my hands to my burning cheeks.

    That''s right, he already said he was at the cosplay cafe when we were. He''s seen me in girl clothes! My head is swimming. I have no idea how to respond. All of the bits of information from earlier slide into place, and I get it.

    Gon said he doesn''t pay attention to rumors, so of course he never heard everyone talking about me being a guy. And he''s hardly ever in the classroom, so we''ve basically never interacted before. But I sit right in front of him, he should see me every day...

    ¡°W-what about my uniform?¡± I sputter out.

    ¡°That?¡± Still red in the face, he scratches his cheek. ¡°I always wondered, is our school really that lax with uniforms...?¡± He thinks I just like wearing the men''s uniform?!

    ¡°B-but, I-I''m in the b-boy''s gym class!¡±

    Gon pauses. ¡°That''s right, you are...¡± How did he not notice that?! ¡°I don''t get it, how?¡±

    ¡°Because- I- Because I''m-¡± I gulp. ¡°Because I''m a...¡± I can''t get it out. I squeeze my eyes shut and cough up the words. ¡°I''m a guy.¡± My shoulders are shaking, tears stinging behind my eyes until I peek them open again.

    Gon has an awkward expression. He clearly doesn''t believe me. ¡°Uhh, alright. I don''t get it, but if you''re pretending to be a boy, I guess I''ll go along with it...? Still, how did you get anyone to believe you...?¡±

    Ken steps forward. ¡°Actually, those are the rumors I mentioned...¡± He leans down close, whispering in Gon''s ears for a bit, as his face rapidly turns the color of a very ripe tomato.

    ¡°Ehh?!¡± he finally exclaims.

    Ken gives a wry smile and waves a hand. ¡°Don''t worry, all the rumors after the first one are just misunderstandings and stuff.¡±

    ¡°B-but then you mean she- sh- he?¡± With wide eyes, Gon looks straight at my crotch, and I know exactly which rumor he''s thinking of. Both my hands shoot down to cover myself and I immediately hide behind Leona, my own face completely red too.

    ¡°Keeeennnn!¡± I cry out, somewhere between anger, disappointment, embarrassment, and who knows what else. Whyyyyyy?!

    After everyone cools down and Leona gives the two boys well-deserved chops to their heads for being so gross, Gon is rubbing his head and asks, ¡°So, I''m still missing something. If you''re actually a guy despite,¡± and vaguely gestures at all of me, ¡°why do you always use the women''s changing room?¡±

    ¡°That...¡± There is no way to explain that away. I think about it but... ¡°Fine, I have no excuse for that.¡± I sigh out in defeat. I hardly know him, so it could be dangerous to tell him everything... ¡°I can''t really explain things, but can you just, umm, pretend I''m a guy in front of other people?¡± I''m not asking too much, am I?

    Gon scratches his head. ¡°I don''t really get it, but sure, that''s fine I guess.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Gon-san.¡±

    ¡°No problem. I guess I''ll see you tomorrow, Maka-chan.¡± Hearing him say it like that makes my heart flutter a little. Not as an insult or anything, he just... thinks I''m a girl... It helps a lot that he''s not big and scary like a lot of guys...

    After Gon heads off, Ken asks what we''re doing, and Leona speaks up. ¡°I was going to take Seiko to the weight room.¡±

    ¡°Geh,¡± I cringe. ¡°Is it that bad?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it''s not great. You didn''t burn off much energy yesterday, so...¡± So she had to use more than usual for my checkup, leaving me with more to burn off than I should have. Great, this again... ¡°I also figured lifting weights would be easier on you than our usual method.¡±

    Honestly, after all her help yesterday, a good night''s sleep and the visit from Mom, I''m feeling way more secure than yesterday, so I don''t think I would have too much issue with it. I mention that to Leona, but agree to the weight room anyway, since it should be more efficient for burning off energy.

    ¡°I should probably get a change of clothes though, for after,¡± I note, and she quickly agrees. We both know I''m going to be a disgusting mess by the time I''m done. We discuss things a bit more, and Ken says he''s going off to meet up with Runa and the others, then we split up.

    After a quick stop at my room to grab what I need, we trek slowly back across campus, and I let Leona carry me this time. Working out in my condition is going to be hell...

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    <hr>

    ¡°Urgh...¡± I groan, collapsing again. I don''t think I can physically lift my arms anymore. I manage to kick myself over onto my back, my entire body screaming at me for putting it through this when I''m injured, and ask, ¡°Good enough?¡± God, I haven''t even been going that long, but I can hardly breathe.

    ¡°Let me check.¡± Leona pins my hands and stares into my eyes, but... ¡°Seiko, struggle.¡±

    ¡°Nnnnngggggg-guh...¡± I try, but I can''t. ¡°Sorry Leona, I can''t move my arms.¡± That makes my heart race, especially with the eyes of the few men in the weight room that have been trained on us the entire time, but Leona is here. As long as she''s at my side, I couldn''t be safer.

    ¡°Legs then.¡± This time, she picks my feet up, rolling me into a ball, and leans down, my feet pressing into her stomach. My knees push up to my chest and I wince as I try to keep most of her body weight suspended, but I can barely even manage that. It''s enough for her to check me though.

    ¡°Barely, but it''ll have to do,¡± she sighs. ¡°Today''s going to be pretty rough, but you can hardly even move already...¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry...¡±

    ¡°Don''t be, it''s not your fault,¡± she assures me. ¡°Let''s get you cleaned up.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡± There''s a pause as she looks down at me on the ground.

    ¡°Need some help?¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡±

    Leona practically has to carry me to the showers since my legs will barely support my own weight. ¡°Are you really going to be alright?¡± she asks uncertainly once we''re in the empty women''s showers.

    ¡°I''ll manage.¡± After the trip over here, I can sort of move my arms again. Enough to change clothes, I think. When she leaves to stand outside, I do so, but...

    ¡°Umm, Leona...?¡± I ask quietly, peeking through the cracked door. ¡°Can you, umm, help me with my bra...?¡± I don''t have enough strength to pull it up over my head.

    ¡°Sure.¡± She comes inside, keeping her eyes trained on the wall instead of looking at me, and has me turn around to face away. ¡°Raise your arms,¡± she instructs, so I grit my teeth and do so. I can barely lift them over my head... ¡°I''m going to touch you now,¡± she warns. Then I feel her fingers slide under the bottom edges of my bra on both sides, and she smoothly lifts it up and off in one movement.

    ¡°Done, here you go,¡± she says quietly, holding it out so that I can take it without turning around. ¡°Also...¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± I ask when she hesitates unexpectedly.

    ¡°You may want to look for bigger bras soon, yours is starting to dig in and leave marks.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± I look down and sure enough, the spots where the elastic bands sit around my ribs are kind of pink from the pressure. Mom said I''m getting taller, and my breasts have grown a little. So I am starting to grow more after all, even with the changes to my body. ¡°I guess you''re right...¡±

    ¡°Well, I''ll wait outside again.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± I hear the door open and close behind me, take two steps back toward the showers, then the door opens again.

    ¡°Shit, the tennis team is coming!¡± Leona''s feet fly right past me. I stumble a couple steps after her.

    ¡°What do we do?¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''ll be fine,¡± she assures me, grabbing up my clothes from where I set them down and rushing back over. ¡°Sorry,¡± she grunts, and swishes my black hoodie right on over my head. I''m blinded, my heart hammering, panic starting to set in. She pulls it down so my head pops out through the neck and at least I can see again, then grabs me around the waist and lifts slightly. I flail, my arms stuck inside my hoodie, while she pulls my jeans onto my legs.

    Leona shoulders my bag with my spare clothes, and says, ¡°Alright, hold on. We''re getting out of here.¡±

    ¡°A-alright.¡± She holds me close, her arms embracing me tightly from behind, the door out standing right before us, and a massive weight crashes down around me. I have a good idea what''s coming, so I brace myself against her, then there''s a slam, and we''re moving.

    In an instant, the door in front of us is open, and we''re in the gym. The girls'' tennis team is right there, but we''re moving so fast, it''s like they''re paused mid-stride. Then we turn ninety degrees without warning, and it feels like Leona''s arm is going to cut me in half. Like all my insides are going to burst out of me.

    The gym moves past us, the door out already open as we pass through the gap, into the field outside. The school flies off until we hit the ground a short distance away.

    All at once, it''s like I''ve crashed into a brick wall. But the wall gives, Leona''s body both slamming into me and giving way as my momentum carries into her, and sends both of us tumbling across the ground like we just jumped out of a speeding shuttle.

    I feel the hits, some landing against my back and sides, but most of them reverberate through Leona. Her arms hold tight as she shields me from the whipping grass and any tiny rocks along our path, crashing so far through the campus, we eventually roll straight out onto the track.

    We skip and bounce across the gritty surface until there''s one more heavy slam, and we stop dead.

    ¡°Argh, fuck!¡± Leona coughs and groans, and I can feel her pull me staggering to her feet, slowly turning so I can see the track team, all staring at us with wide-eyed terror, and then the reinforced fencing we just smashed into. ¡°Seiko, are you alright?¡± Leona pants out, eyes bleary and wincing with pain.

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡± I reply, but everything hurts so much, I''m starting to cry.

    ¡°Infirmary...¡± she murmurs, lifting my body with a grunt, and kicks into a wobbly, lopsided run. When I look up, I see that the glow is still in her eyes as she eats up the distance between us and the school building. When we arrive, the gym doors are closed, the tennis team already gone into the shower room.

    We pass through the gym, then the few halls to reach the infirmary again. When we go inside, the doctor takes one look at us and shoots to her feet. ¡°What happened?!¡±

    ¡°I don''t know,¡± Leona groans, then starts hacking, her body shuddering against mine. But that doesn''t stop her from dragging me bodily over to the nearest rest bed. She isn''t exactly gentle, practically dropping me onto the bed before she grabs wildly for the curtain to pull it aside and fall into the next bed over herself.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Leona curses, still coughing in pain. ¡°Something went wrong with my powers, I think I broke a few ribs. Get me a stabilizer, then check Seiko.¡± There''s some shuffling, followed by sounds like plastic being torn open, and finally Leona hissing, alongside a high pitched schziit.

    Then the doctor comes over to my bed, carefully straightening me out, then hitting a panel over the head of the bed to start it scanning my injuries. All I can do is lie there, tears pouring out on their own because everything hurts so much.

    Time starts to blur together after that, with the scan finishing and the doctor treating my injuries with various different things. I can''t even tell what she''s doing, I think I''m going under...

    <hr>

    I slip in and out of consciousness for a while, until surfacing again to a dimly lit room. It takes some time to recognize the ceiling of the infirmary, painted in sunset orange. Is it already this late...? As soon as I shift my body, I''m hit with mind-numbing pain from everywhere, and immediately stop.

    I continue to lie there, motionless. My breath comes slow, every molecule of air burning like fire in my lungs. Every twitch of muscle a stab of pain. I let out a long, pathetic whimper as I suffer.

    Within moments, footsteps approach. ¡°There there, you''ll be fine.¡± The doctor''s voice comes to soothe me. ¡°Here, this will help.¡± I barely even register the sting in my abdomen amid everything else. But with it, there''s a wonderful numbness that spreads over my body, deadening all the pain.

    It takes a few moments, and when it''s done, I still hurt, but it isn''t completely unbearable anymore. ¡°Lankyu.¡± My thanks comes out all slurred together. My tongue won''t move right.

    ¡°Don''t try to move too much, you won''t be able to accomplish much with that painkiller in your system. You''ll probably just hurt yourself more. Rest. Sleep. You need it.¡±

    Then I hear the doctor''s footsteps. I don''t know why, but I can''t comprehend whether they''re coming toward me, or moving away. I don''t understand the shape of the room anymore.

    This is some painkiller...

 Chapter 26

    ¡°Nngh...¡± I groan. I can barely sit up again. I''ve been in and out all day, the doctor pumping me full of different drugs to aid my recovery since last afternoon. It''s already dark, Sunday night. I have class tomorrow, but I have no idea if I''ll even be able to walk. I was vaguely aware of people coming in a few times during the day, but wasn''t really capable of either understanding them or talking to actually interact.

    ¡°Seiko...¡± comes Leona''s voice from the next bed over, her words slow and pained. ¡°You up...?¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡± it''s hard to push my own words out through my dead brain.

    ¡°I''m sorry... I don''t understand...¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± I know she didn''t know that would happen. She hurt herself more than she hurt me. But still, this is the second time. Do her powers not work correctly around me? Or on me? I don''t know... It isn''t much longer until the doctor comes and doses me again, my thoughts scattering.

    The next time I''m conscious enough, I hear Leona groan loudly, the doctor''s voice coming stern, almost panicked. Leona says something about missing a day, and then she''s hanging over me. She speaks to me a few times before I can make out her words.

    ¡°I have to check you today, we missed yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Don''t overdo it, Vicca-san!¡± the doctor is warning her from behind, but Leona isn''t paying attention. Instead, she''s gathering power, her whole body shaking with effort and agony. I try to lie still as she reaches down, pressing her large hands against me. Some part of me is afraid, but I know how important it is for us to do this, to not miss too many days.

    Besides, all I have to do is endure the pressure of her hands and her power, Leona is the one doing all the work. She presses into me. I grit my teeth against the pain and the flood of blinding power, breath caught in my throat, until Leona pulls away, gasping and panting for air, her hands coming up to claw at her chest before she staggers away, and I hear a crash in the next bed over.

    The doctor barks out admonishments while I stare up at the ceiling, some banging and shuffling sounds coming for a while, with muttered curses about thick-headed veterans.

    I feel like I''m buzzing. Like there''s so much energy poured into me that it''s just going to start leaking out. This is going to be a problem, I can hardly move, how am I supposed to burn off so much?

    I don''t know what to do, and it isn''t long before the doctor comes and doses me again, my thoughts scattering with the spread of the strange medication. Like the world around me ceases to exist, and all I have is myself and the energy.

    What happened to my consciousness? Am I awake or asleep? I can''t move my body at all. I can''t even feel my body. The pain from before is still present, but without a source. Like all my nerve endings are just floating in endless space around me. Except I don''t really exist, do I?

    Rather, all I have is a mass of energy. It doesn''t seem to do anything, it just rests, inert. I push on it, but nothing happens. Duh, of course nothing happens, I don''t have hands. Am I dumb?

    I have thoughts, obviously. So I think the energy away. Just go away! And it leaves. Out and out it goes, the shining colors of the world just pushing off on their own, out and away, overflowing from themselves.

    Eventually, they stop. They''re at equilibrium with their environment, a pond in a marsh. Like groundwater. Yeah, that''s better. I like the color better. It''s a nice color, pretty. A color I can see through, like it isn''t there. Leona''s color.

    But also a bunch of different colors? I don''t know, it starts looking like something, the longer I look at it. Like it has shape. Red. Blue. Purple.

    What was the other color anyway? I blink.

    All at once, I realize I''m awake. There''s a moment of confusion. What is happening right now? What am I doing? Where am I? When am I? Who am I? Why am I here? Why am I awake?

    Literally every single question comes at the same time, all landing on top of each other in my suddenly conscious mind. Of course, I can''t untangle any of it well enough to act, so I continue to stare blankly until I do successfully realize I''m seeing a ceiling right now.

    Right, that''s somewhere to start I guess. Before this was... right, all those... weird thoughts that don''t make a single bit of sense to my conscious mind. Is that what it''s like to be on drugs? Whatever, probably not important. I think back again, recalling what all happened before this.

    Alright, infirmary because of an accident with Leona''s powers. My current state is... pain. I''m still holding very still, but the pain is quickly coming back with my conscious mind. It''s not as bad as I remember, probably thanks to the doctor.

    Having successfully understood the basics of what the hell''s going on, I leak out a groan to let anyone around know I''m awake. The doctor rushes over soon enough. ¡°Maka-chan, you''re awake! Something extremely strange happened while you were asleep!¡±

    ¡°...¡± I try briefly, but my throat is too dry to speak. I try to make a gesture with my hand, but can''t move it. It''s held in place by something, so I use my other, to gesture to my mouth and throat. She gets the message, coming over with water and holding it for me to sip for some time, until I can clear my throat.

    ¡°What happened?¡± I croak out.

    ¡°You- you just kind of started to glow, like when a psion uses their powers. It probably had to do with what Vicca-san did to you, but I don''t know. It was extremely unsettling though, seeing that happen in your sleep.¡±

    ¡°I don''t really know, but if I remember right, I think I did something while I was out of my mind from whatever you gave me.¡± I try to think about it more, but can''t come up with anything. ¡°None of it really makes sense when I try to think about it now though...¡± Did I release the built up energy somehow? I can''t tell, it''s not like I can actually feel it or anything. I''ll have to ask Leona to check me when she wakes up.

    Thinking as much, I shift my head as little as I can to see her in the next bed over, breathing lightly in her sleep. ¡°Is Leona alright?¡± I ask.

    The doctor shrugs. ¡°Vicca-san looked like she pushed herself too far with your checkup. I did what I could, and she''s been sleeping ever since. It''s... about three in the morning right now. If you don''t mind, I''m going to get some shut-eye,¡± she shows a wry grin, but her words finally get me to look at her more closely.

    Doctor Belinda has glassy eyes, with big dark circles underneath, and her hair is disheveled. Even her clothes are wrinkled, and even though I can''t really remember, I get the strong impression that she hasn''t changed them recently. Has she been watching over us the entire time since we came in here?

    ¡°O-of course! Get some sleep, I''m not going anywhere!¡± I assure her. She gives a loose smile, places the glass of water beside my bed, then wobbles away, actually giggling in a hollow voice, before I hear a dull thump from further into the room, then snoring.

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    ¡°Thanks, Doctor...¡± I murmur toward her. I close my eyes again, and soon enough, I''m out again.

    <hr>

    We end up in bed all Monday as well, before we''ve recovered enough to move around. ¡°You''re lucky you''re both technically military personnel,¡± the doctor scolds us, ¡°I''m not authorized to use those medications on civilians.¡±

    ¡°Haah...¡± I give a non-response.

    ¡°Supposedly, regens do weird things to you. Neither of you are experiencing any of these side effects...?¡± She clears her throat and frowns down at a tablet screen in her hands.

    ¡°Numbness in your hands or feet, panic, disorientation, nausea, paralyzed muscles, uncontrollable muscle spasms, confusion, drowsiness, misophonia, paranoia, trouble breathing, dizziness, blurry vision, migraines, seizures, loss of consciousness, out of body experiences, dry mouth, increase or decrease in sexual desire, irritability, spatial sequence synesthesia, insomnia, narcolepsy, anxiety, ringing ears, hallucinations, suicidal, heart attack, unexpected euphoria...¡±

    The doctor scrolls, her face tightening as she just keeps going. ¡°Obsessive compulsive behavior, increased blood temperature and or pressure, chemical imbalances, mood swings, itching, homicidal, constipation, fatigue, chromesthesia, pain, lack of pain, skin or hair changes, disassociation, loss of appetite, heart palpitations, excessive sweating, disillusionment, stroke, omnicidal, god complex, spontaneous combustion, and excessive fingernail growth. Oh, and... other unspecified effects...¡±

    ¡°Uhhh....¡± I blink at her like an idiot. What is that list of side effects...? Are those all even real things?

    ¡°Umm, don''t worry too much, it says that side effects only occur in... between three to ninety nine percent of people.....¡± After that, the doctor tosses aside the tablet, rolls her eyes, and comes to look us over. She pokes and prods for a while, doing what she can to check us for anything out of place. As far as I can tell, she doesn''t find any problems, and returns to her seat with a subtle air of relief.

    ¡°So, umm... I think I did experience... something?¡± I speak up. ¡°I don''t really get it now, but I think I like... released the built up energy somehow while I was all, uhh, out of it from that stuff.¡± She called them ''regens?''

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Leona sighs. ¡°I wouldn''t be surprised, regens are weird. They use them in the military. Here, I''ll check you.¡± Clearly nursing her wounds, Leona stands slowly from her bed and shuffles over to mine. She looks me over briefly, before gently lifting my feet to roll me into a ball again, then waves for the doctor.

    With a helping hand, she grunts and gets up on my bed, then the doctor helps ease her down to lean onto me. ¡°Nice and slow...¡± she breathes as she leans down. I grit my teeth, even pushing with my legs like this hurts. Leona touches her head to mine, looking into my eyes briefly, before she pulls back.

    Again, the doctor helps her back to her own bed. She sighs, releasing the tension in her body when she sits down, and says, ¡°Yeah, we''re in luck, it looks like you were able to dump some energy thanks to the drugs. I''ll do your checkup in a bit. Just... need a nap first...¡± Suddenly yawning, she looks about ready to fall over, when the doctor handles her to lie her down in bed again.

    ¡°You too, Maka-chan,¡± the doctor waves at me. ¡°I''ll be back soon with some more food. You need sustenance to heal, and I''m not keen on using any more sketchy military drugs in the place of proper nutrition.¡± Holding a hand to her head in irritation, the doctor walks away.

    That makes me smile a little, even though it really shouldn''t be funny. I return to resting.

    Thankfully, with some food in us, Leona manages my checkup again, without wrecking herself so badly this time, and we sleep through another night.

    Tuesday morning, the doctor finally gives us the green light to go back to class. As soon as I try to get up, I realize the thing I''d been missing the entire time due to pain, sleep, and drugs. I can''t move my left arm because it''s in a sling. Apparently it''s broken. Not that bad a break according to the doctor, but it''ll take some time to heal, even after the seemingly supernatural healing provided by the military meds.

    When we step outside, hobbling along toward the correct section of the massive school building, I immediately notice a difference in Leona I couldn''t see inside.

    ¡°Hey, your hair changed.¡±

    ¡°Did it?¡± She doesn''t sound particularly concerned.

    ¡°It''s kind of blue now. Like, in the sun.¡± Before it was just black, in her super short pixie cut. Now when the sun hits it right, I see a blue hue in her bangs as well. Those are some freaky military drugs after all...

    Leona shrugs. ¡°Eh, it happens.¡± I blink, confused by her nonchalance. ¡°Has it happened to you before?¡±

    ¡°No, but I saw others who had stuff change. If it''s just my hair, it''s fine.¡±

    ¡°Hmm...¡± The whole thing is off-putting. I pull around a strand of my own hair to peer at it closely. It... looks the same, I think. Length is the same too... I eventually shake my head and put those thoughts from my mind.

    ¡°Hey, Seiko,¡± Leona speaks up as we get closer to the wing of the building we''re aiming for.

    ¡°Mm?¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry, I didn''t realize that would end so badly. I always figured I could get us out of a tight spot with my powers by teleporting to safety, but if it doesn''t work correctly on you, that won''t be an option. Things might be a lot more dangerous than I realized.¡±

    ¡°Teleporting?¡± But...

    ¡°Ah, that''s my unique power. Psions are supposed to keep them secret, but mine is really easy to spot and I''ve already used it on you twice, and it hurt you both times. I figure I owe it to you to tell you about it. Just don''t mention it to anyone else.¡±

    ¡°Uhh...¡± I still can''t come up with a response.

    ¡°So, teleporting is moving instantly between two places. I can do it to myself, other people within a small area around me, or a mix.¡±

    ¡°Umm, well, yeah, I guess...¡± I already know what teleporting is, she doesn''t need to explain that. But... Leona raises a brow at my mumbled response. How do I word this? ¡°I-I''m sorry, but I don''t get it, how is it teleporting?¡±

    That draws a frown. ¡°Because... Well, when I use it, I disappear from one place, and then I appear in the other place.¡± She moves her hands with her explanation, like it should be simple.

    ¡°Huh? But that isn''t how it works.¡± She doesn''t just poof between positions, she moves.

    Leona blinks at me.

    ¡°What do you mean, that''s not how my power works?¡± She asks it flatly, like it hasn''t fully registered yet. Wait, maybe she''s calling it that because it''s really fast?

    I scratch my head. ¡°Well, you have to move between the two spots, does that still count as teleporting? Just because it''s fast?¡±

    ¡°Huh? That isn''t how it works. I don''t move between the two spots, it''s an instant repositioning.¡±

    Now we''re both looking at each other in confusion. ¡°When you did it with me, we definitely moved between spots,¡± I explain. ¡°It was so fast that I had a ton of momentum left when we landed. And I''m pretty sure it was that ninety degree turn in the gym that broke my arm.¡±

    ¡°Wh... what...?¡± She blinks down at me, dumbfounded. ¡°Is that why it doesn''t work right with you? Does something about you mess it up?¡±

    ¡°I don''t know, but...¡± I put some thought into it, and realize it actually wouldn''t be too difficult to test. ¡°Can you teleport through solid walls?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± Hmm, how would that work...? Well, technically, if you think of it in terms of straight lines, she ''went through walls'' in the gym, but that was actually by going around them instead.

    ¡°What about a closed space?¡±

    ¡°Uhh, a closed space? Like a room without any doors into it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I confirm. ¡°Or maybe even a room with a locked door? If your power only has to physically move you when I''m part of the equation, you should be able to teleport inside of a closed space without me. But with me, we''d just crash into the side or something.¡±

    ¡°I can teleport into locked rooms, but I''m not sure about the rest. I have to test it later. It sounds crazy, but I''m sure I''ll be able to confirm things with some work. I''ll let you know how it goes.¡±

    ¡°Just don''t hurt yourself, alright?¡± I pull on her sleeve lightly. ¡°Remember, if I''m right, you really don''t want to crash into a solid wall at a million kilometers an hour.

    ¡°Mm,¡± she nods with a small frown. ¡°I''ve never had any trouble before, so I should be fine, but I''ll keep it in mind anyway.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± I can''t believe Leona still doesn''t know everything about her powers. What in the world...?

 Chapter 27

    It takes us much longer than it should at our slow limping pace, but we do eventually make it to the school building. We arrive at the correct door in, then slowly but surely fumbling our way up the flights of stairs to our floor. We get to the classroom, and everyone is already there, shooting up to their feet when they see us.

    ¡°Sei! Are you alright?¡± Ken is already coming as he practically shouts across the room.

    ¡°I''ll live,¡± I try to calm him down as he approaches fast, stumbling back a little on reflex before he kneels down so he doesn''t tower over me, and looks me up and down, everyone else piling up behind him. Even Jen.

    With Ken checking me over, I look down myself. Now that I''m actually paying attention, I''m not even wearing my uniform, I''m still in my black hoodie and ratty jeans from last Saturday. They''re ripped to shit and back, not doing the best job to keep me covered, but the bundles of wrapped bandages that show through from underneath pick up the slack. But... Oh god, did I sleep in this underwear for three days? Ugh, disgusting...

    ¡°Is your arm...?¡± He directs the question at the sling my left arm is tied in, more or less immobilized over my stomach.

    ¡°Yeah, broken. The doctor said it''s not a bad break, but I''ll have to keep it still for a while.¡± Moving on from me, he stands and faces Leona.

    ¡°Vicca-san, could you explain?¡± His steely tone makes it sound like he''s blaming her for this, which, I guess she did do it, but it obviously wasn''t on purpose.

    ¡°Something went wrong with my powers when I used them on Seiko,¡± she explains, clearly still troubled by it.

    ¡°But why did you? Didn''t you hurt Sei last time too?¡± Ken challenges her.

    ¡°Once is a fluke, twice is a pattern.¡± He starts to scoff at her response but she continues, ¡°I can''t use my powers on Seiko again. Not until I figure out more.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± he huffs. ¡°Sei, what do you think?¡±

    ¡°A-ahh, it''s fine,¡± I wave my good hand. ¡°It seems like it''s my fault when her powers don''t work right, so I can''t really blame her. She had a good reason for doing it anyway, so... yeah...?¡± I don''t know how else to put it to him. Her powers are absurdly dangerous when they don''t work as intended, but she knows that and already said she won''t use them on me because it''s dangerous.

    Ken finally relents, turning and leading us back toward our seats. We''re pretty late though, so I''ve only just sat down when class is about to start and Gon walks into the room.

    ¡°Shit,¡± I leak the word out when I see him and remember. I completely blew our meeting on Sunday.

    ¡°S-sorry, Gon-san,¡± I start as soon as he approaches, his expression stiff and uncertain. ¡°Some, umm, stuff happened.¡± I vaguely gesture at all of me, broken arm, bandages and all.

    ¡°I can see...¡± he murmurs. ¡°It''s fine, you looks like you''ve been through hell. I can''t get mad at you when you''re injured like that, Maka-chan...¡±

    That''s all the time we have before our homeroom teacher comes in, so I groan, forcing myself up out of his seat to take my own.

    ¡°Vicca-san, Maka-san, where are your uniforms?¡± our teacher calls on us immediately as everyone is settling.

    ¡°My apologies sir,¡± Leona speaks up. ¡°We were injured pretty badly over the weekend and have only just been released from the infirmary. We haven''t had the time to return to our dorms to change clothes yet.¡±

    ¡°Mm, I get it,¡± the man sighs. ¡°You''ll be a distraction like that though, couldn''t you have gotten spares from the infirmary?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Leona admits, a hand to her head in shame for a moment. ¡°I didn''t think about that.¡± But then she perks up again. ¡°Actually, she doesn''t have any spares in Seiko''s size.¡±

    The man considers it, looking like he''s about to dismiss it, but then sighs. ¡°What about running back to the dorm? You have some time during homeroom. Then it won''t be an issue the rest of the day,¡± he advises.

    ¡°We''re injured and not very mobile right now...¡± she responds with a grimace and a look at me, before standing and squaring her shoulders. ¡°Alright, I''ll do it.¡± I watch her take a deep breath from behind, then the teacher''s eyes bug out. I feel the weight from where I''m sitting, just before Leona''s gone.

    She... was she right? She didn''t move from her spot, she just kind of vanished. Like, poof, gone. Actually, the bullies disappeared the same way the other day, didn''t they? She must have teleported them away. So why does it feel like we moved when she did it with me instead?

    ¡°W-well, uhh, yeah...¡± the teacher blusters in useless near-panic after Leona''s disappearance. Still, how much power does it take her to teleport around like that? She isn''t walking too well right now either, is she going to poof herself all the way over there? Do longer distances take more power?

    Huh, I really don''t know much anything about how Leona''s psionic powers actually work, outside of them breaking when I''m involved. Whatever the case, the teacher manages to pull himself together, clear his throat, and start homeroom. I awkwardly stay in my seat and pull out my notebook so I''m ready for our first class, until the classroom door opens a minute later, Leona standing there, leaning against the wall, chest heaving.

    The teacher stops long enough for her to call over, ¡°Seiko, clothes,¡± and wave a bag in my general direction. I stumble up out of my seat and limp across the room to the door, where she closes it behind me, and we both hobble over to the closest toilet.

    She comes right into the men''s room, pushing me into a stall and changing her own clothes outside. It''s not like she cares who sees, she mumbles, her eyes glassy and tired.

    After struggling into a clean uniform and fresh underwear, thank you Leona, we head back to the class, and I ask, ¡°You didn''t use too much power to get there, did you?¡±

    ¡°I''ll manage,¡± she tries to shrug it off, but she doesn''t seem to be in very good condition right now.

    ¡°Please, take care of yourself too, Leona.¡±

    ¡°Mm.¡±

    When we get back, no one says a word as we return to our seats, and homeroom is already over. After our first break, our classes start properly.

    The teacher who comes in goes through his lesson. I do my best, but I''m not feeling great either. My notes wind up rambling and I don''t know how well I''m going to remember this material.

    Halfway through class, Leona''s head hits her desk, and she''s out. She''s literally in the front row, directly in front of the teacher, but he doesn''t say anything. I don''t know if he''s afraid of her or just understanding because god, we really look like shit, don''t we?

    I don''t make it much further than her. By second or third period, everything starts to run together, and the next thing I know, I''m being shaken lightly. Once I''m conscious enough to realize that, I flinch away from the unknown touch, head and eyes flying around to find where it''s coming from.

    Ken. It''s just Ken. That eases my suddenly hammering pulse. I have to gulp down a number of breaths before the panic recedes, but I manage to overcome it pretty quickly this time.

    ¡°Y-yeah? K-Ken?¡± I stammer out, clutching my hands together to keep them from shaking so bad.

    ¡°It''s time for lunch.¡± He says it soothingly. He can see I''m scared.

    ¡°R-right, yeah, lunch.¡± I parrot. What about lunch?

    When it''s clear I don''t actually understand, Ken says, ¡°Do you have anything to eat? Do you want me to get you something?¡±

    ¡°Eat. Yes. Food.¡± I have to stop, curl into a ball and breathe for a minute. That finally lets me put aside the drowsy panic-addled terror thrashing around in my brain so I can think. Wow, not so over it after all.

    ¡°Alright, lunch.¡± That''s what''s happening. ¡°Yeah, I can''t walk much, could you get me something?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing.¡± Then he reaches out, slow enough for me to stop him if I want, and he gives me a gentle rub on the head. Yeah, this is good. Ken is safe. ¡°I''ll be right back. Stay with the others, alright?¡±

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± At his direction, I shuffle into Gon''s seat, a little closer to Lucy and Amari. Leona is still passed out at her desk, so I''m worried about that, especially with a bunch of other people nearby. But the two purple haired girls should be safe, right? Lucy can come on strong, but she helped me out before we even knew each other, so it should be alright...

    But, haven''t both of them touched me in bad ways? They both grabbed my chest at different times. No no, that was when they thought I was a boy and didn''t think it would be a problem. And they were really sorry when they realized it was wrong.

    My unsteady breathing returns with my rambling thoughts, and I huddle down in Gon''s seat, waiting for Ken to come back. Then, my gaze slowly turns, peeking at Jen out of the corner of my eye. What about her? She''s pointedly not looking at me as she eats some bread.

    I don''t even know where to start with Jen. All the good times, the protection, and her teaching me the basics of being a girl. That all tells me that she would respect me and my body and I''d be safe with her.

    But her betrayal says that she''s dangerous.

    If I told her no, would she stop?

    That thought remains at the front of my brain until Ken returns with Runa and some food. ¡°Haa...¡± I exhale, my whole body relaxing when he comes through the door. Safe again...

    Lunch passes with a somewhat awkward air, like there''s some unasked question hanging over all of us, but I''m not even sure what it is. Just a sense of tension because of everything that happened the last few days?

    I don''t know, I just try to ignore it and eat my food. The rest of the day passes about the same, but at least I manage to stay awake through the rest of my classes. Given our injuries, we just sit out in gym, and then school''s over. We both end up back in the infirmary, totally spent even though Leona slept through most of our classes.

    Even so, she draws out every bit of power she can muster, and checks me again. She''s so exhausted afterward, she actually collapses on top of me.

    ¡°Heavy...¡± I mutter from underneath, groaning and barely supporting her weight until I manage to call the doctor over to roll her off. Leona fumbles blindly for her mobile, eventually managing to send Mejja today''s results, before her arm flops down on the bed and she falls asleep again right next to me.

    I don''t last much longer, and soon we''re both out cold.

    ¡°Mmmm...¡± I mumble as my eyes squint open. Right, still in the infirmary. The ceiling is colored like sunset. I drowsily rummage around until I find my mobile and check the time. Huh, I''ve been out for like five hours. Yeah, the sun''s going down.

    I roll over a little, remembering Leona is right next to me. I''m still drowsy, but I don''t feel so unbearably tired like this morning, and I know we still have stuff to do. Eating, getting our homework done, and most importantly, a shower... It''s been days and I feel disgusting.

    I shake Leona lightly, until she rouses. ¡°Seiko?¡± she asks sleepily.

    ¡°Hey.¡± Once she wakes up a bit more, we call out, but the doctor doesn''t come. I guess she already left for the day. After we talk briefly, we get up and head back to the dorm. I still ache all over and Leona is weak from using way too much power in her condition, but we''re not drop-dead tired now, so the trip back isn''t all that bad.

    Leona slept through lunch, so we decide on food first. We go into the girl''s dorm since I''m still feeling really shaky around men. We take the lift all the way up to the fifth floor, and it takes forever with people coming on and off all the way up, all staring at us and wrinkling their noses. It''s making me wish I could take a bath, not just a shower. It''s so unfair, they have such nice baths here but I can never use them...

    When we finally arrive, I tell Leona that I''ll cook, since she actually seems more tired than I am. I''m good enough now to cook us up a couple plates of eggs and sauteed vegetables. I figure we could really use the nutrition. Although, Leona does have to step in to help a few times since I can only use one hand right now.

    As I cook and plate everything, I''m aware of the eyes of all the other girls in the common room watching us, but it''s so different from the men. Like... curious or wary rather than hungry and jealous. They see me as a guy in their space, don''t they? The thought makes me feel sick, so I try not to think about it.

    After we eat, we head into Leona''s room. I''m tired and it''s right there. ¡°Don''t worry, I don''t have a roommate,¡± she waves a hand at the empty bed across from hers. That''s... weird. ¡°I''m going to take a shower, just give me a minute.¡± She disappears into her wash room, and I flop down on the spare bed.

    Why doesn''t she have a roommate? It seems like too much of a coincidence to be random. Maybe because she''s a psion? They just gave her a room for herself? On one hand, it must be nice, but...

    Wouldn''t it be lonely...?

    Leona finishes up her shower as fast as she said, returning to the room with steam rolling off her skin and a towel wrapped around herself. She clearly isn''t concerned about modesty at all, but I avert my eyes anyway as she throws a loose nightshirt and shorts on. She falls into her own bed with a contented groan.

    ¡°Can I...?¡± I ask quietly.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    With her permission, I hesitantly enter her wash room. I look around a little, but... ¡°Umm, Leona?¡± I peek my head out through the door and call her name. ¡°I don''t see much in here.¡± She only has some soap and shampoo. ¡°There''s no conditioner or anything.¡±

    ¡°I don''t use it,¡± she waves it off. ¡°Military habit, I guess. Too much work. Long hair, and all that.¡± She rolls her head to look my way. ¡°Right, you would need that with hair like yours, I''m sorry, Seiko.¡± She moans tiredly, pushing up off her bed. ¡°Let''s go to your place then.¡± I nod a few times, and we leave her room.

    More eyes follow us across the common room, to the lift, and the other girls who get in all give off a weird atmosphere. I stick closer to Leona''s side until we make it out of the building. Then we have to go through it all over again on the way back up through the men''s dorm. When we finally arrive in my room, I let out a long sigh of relief.

    The room is empty, so Leona crashes on my bed while I grab a change of clothes from my dresser and head into the wash room. Once I''m inside, I pull off my clothes, and finally get in the shower.

    ¡°Ahhh...¡± I moan, wonderfully content as I let the hot water pour over me. But just that isn''t good enough. I grab my shampoo, scrubber, and everything and finally wash my filthy body for the first time in like four days.

    I scrub away the sweat and dirt all the nasty dead skin, lather my hair with conditioner, and feel wonderful doing all of it. It''s especially helpful that the hot water eases the bruises and aches all over. By the time I finish, I feel kind of tingly all over from scrubbing my skin, and the one arm I had to do it with is tired. But I''m clean and happy.

    Once I''m dry, I put on some lotion like usual. But, it''s the lotion Jen gave me, isn''t it...? I frown when she comes back to mind. I know why she did it, but every time I think about it, it still hurts... Trying to push past that, I relish the silky softness of my skin instead. I''m surprised it feels this nice even though this is my first time getting a decent wash lately.

    It''s a long and tedious struggle to get into my clothes with one arm like this. And when I finally do, they feel unpleasant and prickly. Maybe I scrubbed a little too hard. Trying to ignore the sensitivity, I leave the wash room. Leona is already asleep on my bed, so I go over to my dresser and search through it again.

    ¡°Do I have anything softer...?¡± Something not so scratchy... It''s all my old guy clothes though. Overused, threadbare, or just plain beat up. I barely replaced them since the beginning of middle school since I''ve hardly grown. Even the uniforms I have are the same kind of rough feeling fabric.

    Then I find it. ¡°Oh...¡± Buried underneath my other uniforms, there''s a different one. The girls'' uniform I got from the nurse that one time. It ended up stuffed in my bag, then buried in my dresser ever since.

    I pull it out with nervous hands, but find that the fabric really isn''t any better than the men''s uniform. There''s an instant stab of disappointment, and I sigh. Maybe I could try it anyway...?

    I glance around the room, but it''s still just me and the sleeping Leona. I''ve worn a number of girl''s clothes at the cafe the last few weeks, but a regular uniform is different. Like... real clothes, I guess. But now that the thought is in my head, I can''t stop myself. I slowly pull off my uncomfortable clothes and toss them aside, then slip carefully into the girl''s uniform.

    Yeah, it''s a little big and the fabric is scratchy against my skin, but I still like it. I go into the wash room, looking myself over in the mirror.

    ¡°Hmm?¡± Do I look different? How? I practically press my face against the mirror, but I still can''t place it. There''s definitely something about my appearance that''s different.

    ¡°-!!¡± With a startled gasp, I shove my good hand between my legs.

    ¡°Haaa....¡± I sigh out in relief. No changes there, so I haven''t suddenly changed back or something. Once I manage to stop panicking, I move on. ¡°Then what is it?¡± I return to looking at myself. I feel like I should be able to recognize a change in my own appearance, it''s my own body after all, but I totally can''t place it. I do look cute in the girl''s uniform though...

    ¡°Maybe...?¡± I pull up the top. I''m not wearing a bra right now since I figure I''ll be going to bed soon and it isn''t worth the struggle, so I take a closer look at my breasts. Still about the same size, no changes there either. My nipples are hard because the fabric keeps scratching against them. Something to be careful about, I don''t want to get them all chafed again. Still not what I''m looking for though.

    ¡°I give up.¡± I straighten out my clothes and take one last look in the mirror, smiling at myself. Even if they aren''t comfortable, they''re cute. They make me feel good.

    I leave the wash room again, taking a seat at my desk so I can work my way through some homework before I''m too tired and don''t get to it. For a while, silence rules, my focus on the papers in front of me. Nothing but the scratch of my pencil and the soft breathing of Leona next to me. I sink into the work, mind hazing over as I stretch my thoughts to all our different school topics. Math, biology, history...

    I actually get through a variety of assignments, before the door behind me swishes open. ¡°Hey, Ken.¡± I mumble over my shoulder to him.

    ¡°Hey Sei.¡± He comes and peers over my shoulder for a second, then, ¡°Haa, I guess I should get to my homework too...¡± He plops down at his own desk, and starts working. The quiet returns.

    After a few minutes, without even looking my way, Ken speaks up. ¡°Hey, that looks good on you,¡± he compliments me casually.

    What does? I sit there, blinking for a second, before I remember what I''m wearing. I only have a moment to panic, before I tell myself it''s just Ken. I can wear things like this around him. Just... need to be more careful. What if he''d brought someone back with him? God, I wasn''t thinking about that at all...

    But for right now, I''m safe. I can be myself here. I can''t help smiling like an idiot. ¡°Thanks.¡± We both keep on with our homework.

    Yeah, this is a nice atmosphere...

 Chapter 28

    ¡°Done...¡± I groan a little. How long have I been working anyway? I stretch my good arm and back, twisting a bit to loosen up my sore, bruised muscles. Ugh, it''s still infuriatingly scratchy when I move around. I go back to my dresser automatically, but no, the contents haven''t changed. There''s nothing more comfortable inside.

    Giving up on that, I go over to Leona and gently shake her awake. She mumbles a little as she sits up and checks the time on her mobile. It''s pretty late, but she almost immediately says she''s hungry again.

    ¡°I am too,¡± I sigh. We already had dinner, but I guess we need more food right now. ¡°Want any, Ken?¡±

    ¡°Sure, just remember to change first.¡±

    ¡°Ahh, yeah...¡± I jolt a little when I''m reminded again that I''m in the girl''s uniform. I can''t walk through the men''s dorm dressed like this... With a sigh, I grab another old shirt and pants, and pick up my black hoodie from where I dropped it earlier. I change in the wash room and toss the girl''s uniform in my hamper.

    ¡°Seiko, is something wrong?¡± Leona asks.

    ¡°My clothes are all scratchy and uncomfortable,¡± I complain, still rubbing a hand against my side in vague irritation.

    ¡°Can I see?¡± she asks as she approaches, so I nod and hold out my hand. She takes my sleeve and rubs the fabric between two fingers. ¡°Where is the problem?¡± she asks, looking down over me, like her eyes are searching my body for problems.

    ¡°Everywhere.¡± At my admission, she pulls up my sleeve and rubs a finger along my forearm, her eyes immediately narrowing.

    ¡°How does this feel?¡± Leona asks.

    ¡°Not bad? Your hands are a little rough.¡±

    ¡°Really... Yono-san, can you come here?¡± she calls for Ken.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Feel Seiko''s skin. What do you think?¡± After we share a short look, he brushes a finger along my skin like she did. The pad of his finger is even rougher than Leona''s, but not enough to be uncomfortable like my clothing is. However, his eyebrows shoot up in surprise for some reason.

    ¡°Sei, your skin is so smooth!¡± he practically gasps.

    ¡°Uhh, thanks?¡± I get a little red at the unexpected compliment.

    ¡°No, not like that.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°It''s like, perfectly smooth. It feels like, what is it, a polished marble countertop? But you know, soft because you aren''t made of, like, stone?¡± He''s falling over himself a bit, hands moving uselessly as he tries to explain, but I get the point he''s trying to make.

    My skin doesn''t just feel smooth, it feels weird smooth.

    ¡°Oh, uhh, is that... a good thing or a bad thing...?¡± I don''t even know which one of them to direct the question at. Having absolutely no roughness to my skin sounds good, right? But is that why everything else feels scratchy?

    While I''m wondering about that, Leona kneels down, lifting my arm above her, so she can examine it closely with the room''s light right behind it.

    ¡°Seiko, can I look at other parts of your body?¡± she asks. I get way more embarrassed when she words it like that, but she sounds serious, so I consent anyway. She sends a look at Ken, so he turns around and looks the other way. Then she pulls up my hoodie and shirt, and peers closely at my stomach, probing carefully with another finger before moving on.

    I try to move how she wants and ignore my embarrassment, just letting Leona work. But still! She starts by pulling down the waist of my pants and boxers, just barely keeping them high enough to cover me there, but revealing the whole area directly above it.

    When she trails a finger against that sensitive section of skin, I let out a surprised squeak. ¡°Seiko?¡±

    ¡°S-sorry, I''m fine.¡± I have to look away because my face is burning up. Leona keeps inspecting me all over, from my legs, to my breasts, to the back of my neck and even my ears.

    Her verdict: ¡°You have no body hair.¡± All of that for just... that?

    ¡°Umm, I already knew that. I haven''t really started growing body hair yet...¡±

    But Leona shakes her head. ¡°I mean you have no hair at all. Normally, human skin is covered with tiny, nearly transparent hair.¡± She pulls out her mobile, taps at it, then says, ¡°They''re called...¡± Her eyes search the screen, then, ¡°Vellus hairs. You don''t have any. It must be from the regens. They may grow back or they may not, I can''t say at this point.¡±

    ¡°Is it... a problem?¡±

    With her eyes still trained on her mobile, she scrolls a bit. Then the tension visibly goes out of her. ¡°It looks like they help sweat evaporate, so you might overheat easier in summer without them.¡±

    ¡°That''s, uhh, not so bad?¡± I don''t think she would have relaxed if it was.

    ¡°Yeah, it shouldn''t be too big of a deal.¡±

    ¡°Mmm, they probably help with protecting skin,¡± I think aloud as I rub at my own arm. It doesn''t feel any different than normal to me... ¡°Like a tiny barrier between your skin and the things you touch. That''s probably why everything feels rougher now.¡±

    Leona shrugs. ¡°Yeah, that sounds possible.¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever.¡± I shake my head. There''s nothing I can do about it. ¡°Food, right?¡± I ask, trying to get back to what we were doing before.

    ¡°Yeah, food. Yono-san, let''s go.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Ken calls, and we head out. The common room is almost entirely empty, just three people still sitting around, either reading or watching TV. But then I notice one is Morris Mason. That asshole who thought I was a girl and threatened to call the police on my very first day here. Which turned into the first of all the rumors when I... pulled down my pants to prove it...

    I scowl and cling closer to my friends, just trying to avoid him as much as possible. He''s exactly the kind of man Leona warned me about, one who won''t listen no matter what you say. Of course, when he catches sight of me, his eyes keep following me from across the room. Creep...

    Ignoring my pain and discomfort, I make some turkey and cheese sandwiches, since they''re easy and I don''t feel like putting a ton of work into a late-night meal like this. We eat and chat about class a bit, catching Leona up on what she missed today, and eventually land on the topic of our upcoming group projects for bio. I still haven''t had a chance to talk to Gon about it, I really need to do that tomorrow.

    Apparently Ken is partnered with the guy who sits behind him and they got most of it done already. Leona is unfortunately, utterly clueless. Whoever she''s supposed to be partnered with hasn''t come to talk to her, so she''ll just have to do it herself.

    With a sigh, we relay the outline of the assignment so she at least knows what to do. By then, we''ve finished eating, so we split up for the night.

    As soon as we get back to our room and finish getting ready for bed, I lie down, dead tired at this point. My injuries are healing thankfully, but after seeing how much Leona is sleeping, I feel kind of bad. Even with her ridiculous powers active, she took the brunt of the damage, and she''s been pushing herself really hard to keep up my daily checkups.

    I lie down with a sigh, but, ooh... My soft, fuzzy blankets feel really nice, totally the opposite of my clothes. Without any hesitation, I pull my clothes off and dump them out from under my blanket, but I notice Ken looking at me as I do.

    Cheeks burning, I stammer, ¡°W-what? They''re uncomfortable and my blanket feels nice!¡±

    Just as red, Ken turns away. ¡°Nope. Not saying a word.¡± He climbs into his own bed. There''s a stretch of silence, then both of us start laughing.

    ¡°Thanks for everything, Ken.¡±

    ¡°What are friends for?¡±

    <hr>

    The next day, I flag down Gon when he appears just before first period and make plans to at least start working together today. It''s Wednesday and the project is due Friday, so we don''t have that much time. After scarfing something down for lunch, we head to the library during our lunch break, with Leona coming along of course. Even if Gon isn''t big and scary, there''s no way I''d go anywhere alone with him.

    It turns out that he''s already partway through the work. I sit down next to him, Leona across the table from us to work on her own project, and I go over the research and writing he''s already done. It''s pretty good already, so I just chip in where I see places for improvement.

    Once I have a good idea of where we are so far, I''m feeling a lot better about the project. The remainder is easily doable in the time we have left. We head back, lunch almost over, and plan to meet up again after school today and tomorrow to finish.

    We manage our classes a lot better today, Leona actually staying awake the whole time. We sit out gym again though. I''m not about to play basketball with a broken arm, and Leona seems to have a few fractured ribs still left to heal.

    As soon as gym is over, I tell Gon that we have something to do before we meet up, so we''re skipping last period and we''ll see him in the library. Then he goes into the showers and I head to the infirmary with Leona.

    ¡°Is this really going to be alright?¡± I ask uncertainly as she''s preparing for my checkup. ¡°I didn''t burn off anything from Monday or Tuesday.¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, I''ll manage. Do you think there''s any way you could burn some off before tomorrow though?¡±

    ¡°I don''t know, it would be a lot easier if I could just release it like I did the one time...¡±

    Leona shrugs. ¡°You''d need regens. But they''re way too dangerous to use for anything besides serious injuries.¡±

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I know she''s right. This time I lost all the hair on my body. What might happen next time? With that list of side effects...

    If only I had some idea of the strange state of mind I reached, it might be possible, but it doesn''t make a single bit of sense now. Something about existence, marshland, and the stars? Or the colors of the universe? I don''t get it at all...

    I sigh. I don''t even know where to begin with all of that. But as Leona gathers power, her whole body trembling with effort and the air crushing down oppressively around her, I finally wonder: What about this?

    How does Leona do this? Well, she''s a psion, obviously, so it''s something she can do. But how? Why does it feel the way it does when she uses her powers? One part of my mind says these are stupid questions. It does because it does. There isn''t a reason for psionic powers doing what they do, they break all laws of logic and physics. They don''t make sense by their very definition.

    But if that''s the case, how do psions use those powers? How do they even know they can? Is it like some kind of muscle they can flex that doesn''t exist in normal people? In Leona''s case, she does physically strain from gathering a lot of psionic power, so maybe it''s related. She also gets tired and does show fatigue after she uses a lot.

    I continue to watch closely, trying to feel everything I can as she finally leans down, pressing her forehead to mine, and dumping power into me. I stare, wide eyed into the violet glow, so bright and blinding.

    But that''s not all, is it? With my sight drowned out in color, I think I can see it, that non-color behind it. I don''t understand what it is, but I can feel it there, inside Leona, around her, around myself. Inside me too. A strange thing beyond me, but it definitely exists.

    Then Leona reels back. I''m acutely aware of the air around me shattering. Is that even possible? That''s definitely what it felt like though...? I choke through a few breaths, I guess I was holding mine through that. While Leona growls out through her teeth and staggers away, flailing and groaning, I can feel my consciousness shrinking.

    My awareness of my surroundings is vanishing, all those feelings fading away into the noise of reality, like the ringing in your ears as a high note fades, no longer in your range of hearing. Still there, but you can''t perceive it anymore.

    That''s how it feels as I roll onto my side, looking over Leona as she sits, panting against the wall, tapping at her mobile before her arms flop down to her sides. I fix my clothes and get up, grabbing a towel, then kneel down and start patting her to dry off her forehead.

    ¡°You can''t keep this up, Leona.¡±

    ¡°Even if I can''t, I have to.¡±

    ¡°Come on, that doesn''t make any sense,¡± I pout at her. ¡°No matter how powerful you are, you have limits. Not that I can really talk...¡± It''s my fault she has to push herself like this, I''m the one who isn''t burning the energy off every day.

    No, that''s because she injured me. Even by accident, I totally see how the blame for this falls on her shoulders, so she''s trying to grin and bear it, but I just don''t see it being possible to keep this up much longer. The more power in me to overcome, the more I end up with, making it even harder the next time. Like exponential growth.

    I''m the only one who can do something about this. Either by burning the energy off despite my injuries, or somehow reaching that state of mind where I can release the psionic energy I literally can''t even perceive.

    But all of that comes later. As mundane as it is in comparison, I have a meeting to keep with Gon. When Leona can stand again, we say our farewells to the perpetually worried doctor, and head to the library.

    I take a seat beside Gon at the same table as earlier, and Leona collapses across from us.

    ¡°Uhh, is Vicca-san alright? What did you guys have to do?¡± he asks as soon as he sees her condition.

    ¡°A-ah, well...¡± I scratch my cheek. ¡°I can''t say exactly, but it''s a thing we have to do every day, and Leona''s having a lot of trouble with it lately. I want to do what I can to help, but I can''t manage much because of my injuries.¡±

    ¡°Not very descriptive...¡± he mutters. ¡°Well, I don''t want to pry, so, umm, let''s just get to work?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡±

    Despite the tense beginning, we manage to get into the work before too long. Leona rests her body on the table across from us, and I start to worry a little that she''ll be able to finish her project, but there isn''t any way I can really help with that right now. For now, I focus on my own work.

    ¡°So, Maka-chan, I''ve been wondering,¡± Gon speaks as we''re packing up for the day. ¡°You two seem really close, you''re always together. I mean, Vicca-san is here, even though she''s basically just sleeping. What''s up with that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, that? Umm...¡± I consider my words, not really knowing how to explain. I don''t really want to just throw my whole story at him out of nowhere, but it''s not like I can come up with an excuse either.

    ¡°I''m too scared to go anywhere alone, so Leona stays with me.¡±

    His eyebrows shoot up. ¡°Scared? Of what?¡±

    I avert my eyes. ¡°Well, people...¡±

    ¡°You''re scared of people? Why?¡± At this point, he sounds both concerned and curious. Which is a very strange combination in this situation, I think.

    ¡°Uhh, some reasons. Bullying and stuff.¡± I don''t want to get into details.

    Unexpectedly, Gon grimaces. ¡°Bullying, huh? Yeah, I get it.¡±

    ¡°Huh? You do?¡±

    ¡°Well, I got bullied a lot in the past too, so... yeah.¡± He has a sour look on his face for a moment, before he waves his hands. ¡°Oh, not anymore though. It''s fine now.¡±

    ¡°Really? What happened?¡± Does he know of a good way to stop from being bullied?

    ¡°Well, nothing happened really...¡± he mumbles, his face sinking. When he starts looking uncomfortable, I try to back off, saying he doesn''t have to tell me if he doesn''t want to. ¡°No, it''s fine. After my family moved to Meridan county, I just... mostly started avoiding people, so no one''s bothered me ever since.¡±

    ¡°That...¡± Rather than overcoming the bullies, he ran away and isolated himself instead. ¡°I''m sorry...¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''s fine,¡± he tries to wave it off like he doesn''t care, ¡°it''s not like I''m lonely or anything. I just focus on my hobbies and I can enjoy my time by myself.¡±

    ¡°Hobbies?¡±

    Gon freezes, his entire body jolting a little. Then, ¡°U-umm, j-just, uhh, nothing much, uhh, games and s-stuff, you know?¡± He isn''t fooling anyone like that, but it''s so clearly a sore spot, I don''t push.

    ¡°Ahh, yeah, games are pretty fun,¡± I agree. Just what sort of hobbies does Gon have...? ¡°Hey, I''m glad we got to talk.¡± I hesitate a little, glancing at Leona to steady myself. She''s right there, so I know I''m safe. ¡°...Friends?¡± I extend a hand, trying to keep it from shaking too badly. I''m the one offering here. This is fine.

    Gon glances at it, also hesitating. I wonder if he has trust and touch issues like I do...? Despite his hesitance, he does take my hand. I twitch a little, shoulders flinching at the touch, but this is still fine. I''m safe and I can''t imagine someone who was bullied like me forcing himself on me... probably.

    ¡°Friends...¡± he responds quietly, but his eyes are already widening, moving to our hands. ¡°Maka-chan, your hand...¡±

    ¡°A-ahh, that, umm,¡± I move to draw my hand back when I remember, but he doesn''t release it, and my heart jumps into my throat. Instant panic alarms start to blare, before he yanks his own hand back, sputtering an apology. I clutch my hand close, chest heaving, and he immediately goes into retreat, sliding his chair back with a screech, rambling more apologies.

    Right, it wasn''t on purpose. He was just surprised. ¡°F-fine,¡± I stammer out. ¡°It''s fine,¡± I eventually manage to assure him. ¡°Sorry I... Just... Touch issues...¡±

    ¡°No, no, sorry, Maka-chan, I was just, uhh, surprised was all. Your hand was, uhh, like...¡± he gestures vaguely, like he doesn''t know how to put it.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Is that why, you know,¡± his random, anxious hand waving really isn''t helping with his points. ¡°Your touch issues?¡±

    I blink a little, taking a moment to put meaning to his broken up speech, before responding, ¡°That? No, umm, that''s new, actually.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    The sort-of changed topic helps me calm down. Focus on that instead. ¡°Yeah, it''s from some...¡± Wait, am I allowed to talk about the regens? I look across the table to Leona, who''s watching us closely in case anything happens. I ask her with my eyes if I''m allowed to mention this, and she nods. ¡°It has to do with my injuries, the doctor used some strange medicine to help us heal, and it looks like it had some weird side effects.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that''s... interesting?¡± he gives an uncertain response to the information that completely comes out of left field compared to our previous topic.

    Still trying to calm my heart, I sort of just ramble on, just to keep myself talking instead of spinning in my own head. ¡°Yeah, it like, made my skin feel weird and got rid of my body hair. All my clothes have felt rough and scratchy ever since, so it''s super annoying actually.¡±

    ¡°That''s- umm, unfortunate?¡± Both of us pause, tense and awkward, like we don''t know what else to say, but the silence is even worse. Then Gon perks up a little, like he just thought of something. ¡°Wait, you said they''re uncomfortable? Our uniforms are mostly just cotton blends. Have you tried rayon, silk or microfiber fabrics?¡±

    I blink. ¡°Umm?¡±

    ¡°A-ahh,¡± he waves his hands. ¡°Do you know what I''m talking about?¡± When I shake my head, he elaborates. ¡°Different fabrics can feel significantly different.¡± That much I know already, just from wearing different clothes. There are different types of fabric, obviously, but I can''t say I''m familiar with any specifics.

    ¡°There are certain types that are softer and more comfortable that you''d probably want to look into. A basic one that they make, like, everything out of is cotton, but it isn''t always super comfortable like some other fabrics are, without putting more work into it.¡±

    ¡°Oh, alright...¡± I''m still a little off-balance from his sudden outburst of information. ¡°You, umm, know a lot about this I guess? Do you have any suggestions? You mentioned ''rayon'' and, umm...¡± I don''t remember the others.

    Gon stiffens up, eyes shifting through the room nervously for some reason. His gaze sticks on Leona who is still watching him with the energy of a lazy cat. ¡°I, uhh, guess I do?¡± he hedges awkwardly. ¡°Just kind of... something I picked up?¡± He''s clearly downplaying it, nervous about knowing about this. I don''t know why, but again, I don''t want to make him uncomfortable.

    ¡°Here, let''s trade numbers. You can text me the info, then I can look it over later, and have it on me when I go shopping for something decent to wear. Sound good?¡±

    Gon deflates slowly, most of his nervous tension dissipating. ¡°Yeah, that sounds good.¡±

    ¡°We should bring him shopping,¡± Leona suddenly advises out of nowhere.

    ¡°Ehh?!¡± Gon flinches. ¡°Me? Why?¡±

    ¡°Multiple reasons.¡± She twitches an eyebrow at him slightly, then gives just one reason. ¡°You''ll be a good source of information.¡± What about the other reasons, I wonder...?

    ¡°W-well, umm, I don''t know, maybe...?¡± Gon gives an uncertain response, so I decide to let him think on it more.

    ¡°Here, let''s trade numbers like I said. ¡°You can give an answer later.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± We tap mobiles, getting a chime in response, and he vaguely mentions sending me the information later, before we awkwardly split up for the day.

    ¡°Are you sure you should have invited Gon-san? He looked really uncomfortable...¡± I mumble as we head back toward the dorms.

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''ll be fine. I do have another question though.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Besides Gon-san, is there anyone else you want to bring?¡± Leona asks, giving me a strangely knowing look, like she''s thought of something I haven''t. Anyone else? If we''re just drawing from my friends, Ken''s a guy and I''m still a little iffy about Lucy and Amari. Then there''s Jen-

    As soon as I think of her, she sticks in my head. She''s the one who took me for all of my clothes shopping so far. She even chose the bras I''ve been wearing, which I should replace when we go out next. Of course Leona is referring to Jen, but...

    But with the way things are between us now...

    Could this be a chance to mend things? Even a little?

    I would like that. I would really like that. I hate how things are between us, but I''m just so scared of opening up to her again, would this really help...? I have no idea, and just thinking about it is making my heart race and my hands clam up.

    I gulp anxiously. ¡°I... I''ll talk to Jen...¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    I end up spending the night with Leona, mostly helping her with homework she''s been neglecting due to fatigue. We eat another two dinners, and I''d be worried about all the calories, except I can tell how badly our bodies need the food by how ravenously hungry we are for each meal.

    By the time Leona escorts me back to my dorm room, it''s really late, and I flop tiredly into bed. My clothes are stripped immediately for the comfort of my blanket, and I let out a long, exhausted sigh. God, that scratchy feeling is going to drive me insane...

 Chapter 29

    I lie in bed for a while. I''m finally comfortable without those itchy clothes on, if still aching all over from my injuries. I should probably go to sleep, but there''s one last thing that nags at me, keeping me awake. What do I do about my energy buildup? No matter how much Leona forces herself, she can''t keep upping her power every day like she has been. She practically knocked herself out today, what''s going to happen tomorrow? The day after?

    I know it''s possible to let the energy out of me. But doing it took crazy military drugs that literally turned Leona''s hair blue and removed all my body hair.

    But it''s possible! There has to be some way, right? Huddled under my soft blanket, I grab my mobile and start searching up anything I think might be helpful. How psion powers work, how psionic energy collects in people''s energy pathways, why the powers do the things they do...

    For the most part, I only get the basics. All psions have telekinesis for moving things with their mind, as well as the ability to physically enhance their bodies with their psionic power. They glow when they use their powers. Yeah, yeah, literally everyone knows these things...

    Each psion also has a unique power, something special that only they can do. Huh, if you searched the whole world, you might find a second psion with something at least similar, but that''s besides the point... There''s also mention that some psions may have more than one power, but I see some people dispute that point.

    It does match up with what I''ve seen myself with Leona having multiple energy types, but I''m not finding anything online correlating number of energy types and number of unique powers as I tap through pages talking about it. So maybe it''s the combination of energy types that produces a single unique power...?

    Whatever the case, most of what I find is stuff I (and everyone else) already knows. I have a very strong feeling that the real explanations for my questions are classified information, the kind of stuff militaries keep to themselves.

    What I do find... ¡°Huh, they do that...?¡± One thing Mejja told me about, the ''gender of the soul'' he called it ¨C it looks like people in other countries use scanners like his to check people''s PEPs and energy cores to determine if their gender is different than the sex they were born as.

    ¡°So, there are other people like me...?¡± Well, I still can''t be a hundred percent sure about my soul or whatever, but I definitely feel better as a girl. Some of them even mention reports of people with energy cores outside of the normal two spots. Interesting...

    As I keep reading, digging up what little information is publicly available, I do come across a few blogs, written by foreign psions. It looks like some less militaristic countries treat them more like celebrities than military assets...

    ¡°Advice for young psions,¡± I read out one blog title as I land on it. I skim, and it talks all about what it''s like growing up as a psion and getting accustomed to your powers. Specifically, from someone who didn''t come from a family of psions, so they had to pick it all up for themselves.

    Then my eyes land on one line that leaps out from my memory on sight. ¡°The will of the world...¡± I murmur the words.

    ''It''s my opinion that psionic powers are the will of the world, allowing those it chooses to push their will into reality. At least, that is how it has always felt when I use my own powers. You tell the world what you want it to do, and as long as your will is strong enough, reality will make your desire come true.''

    Then I get into comments, where it''s a mixture of agreement and disagreement, along with a bunch of people insulting each other and saying that an ordinary person could never understand the experience of a psion.

    ¡°Huh...¡± I''m not sure what to think, so I try running another search.

    ''Psions will of the world''

    I type that in and hit go. The results I get... there''s a lot. Just skimming the search page with the bits of relevant text, there are way too many using that exact phrase to be a coincidence.

    I gulp. I know the next thing I have to search, but suddenly, I''m scared of the answer. I mean, there''s no way!

    But-

    All at once, the memory comes back to me again.

    ¡°I think it was the will of the world telling me that he needed to be true to himself.¡±

    My mom said that, back when I was five years old. And I still remember it thanks to the recurring dream I''ve been reliving over and over for so many years. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but looking at so many accounts from all over the world, so many people saying almost the exact same thing, it gives me a bad feeling.

    Why did she think that? That same line repeated by so many different psions? It brings me back to that same idea again, but I''m not a psion! I know that already! Even Mejja''s scans showed I''m only tier one, so I don''t have enough energy for it to be possible in the first place.

    Even as I think that, I''m tapping out another search with shaking hands.

    ''How do I know if I''m a psion?''

    I land on some message boards, question and answers, dozens of people asking that same question. The answer: ''If you''re asking, then you aren''t.''

    Oh, ok. I sigh out in relief. I scroll a little more for a better answer, eventually finding a couple self-identified psions telling people how psionic powers manifest at a young age, and since they naturally respond to the psion''s will, they all figure it out pretty much immediately when stuff starts floating around them and jumping into their hands. Apparently, the telekinesis part is super easy to activate at that age because, you know, people want to pick things up pretty often.

    I do find one account saying that the telekinesis didn''t come to them as naturally as their other powers, so it was a little less clear for them. So, I guess there is a little variation, but the end result is clear. I didn''t start flinging things around with my mind as a kid, so I''m definitely not a psion, no matter what weird thing my mom said when I was young.

    There''s just one problem... I continue to frown up at my mobile screen. Even though I''m not a psion, I have a ton of psionic energy inside me right now. Mejja said I was holding onto enough to count as tier three with the bit Leona left the last time we went to central.

    Three days of psionic floods without me burning any of it off, I must at least be up to the level of an actual psion. At least tier four or five, right? Not to mention that my energy pathways are wrecked in a way that literally shouldn''t even be possible without killing me.

    Ok, I have a lot more than the one problem. Point is, I''m sitting squarely in unknown territory, so psion or not, I have a whole bunch of energy and I know that there is some way I can interact with it. Even if it was under the influence of sketchy drugs, I''m distinctly aware that I was the one that got rid of the energy, it didn''t just happen on its own, or because of the drugs or something.

    Unless I was hallucinating. That''s always a possibility, I suppose...

    Ignoring that thought, I keep trying, but none of the information online is helping. I try looking up psionic floods to see if there''s anything about it online, but don''t get anything. There are only a handful of mentions of the term, but none of them are even referring to what Leona does. Probably a military secret, then.

    About ready to give up, I stare at my ceiling. All I really know is that I got the energy out, and that psionic energy comes out of the eyes. I squint, trying vaguely to like, push with my eyes or something, but of course it doesn''t work. I''m not accomplishing anything...

    ¡°I''m done.¡± I toss my mobile back onto my desk. I give up, I''m not getting anywhere.

    Even though I say that, I can''t help my wandering thoughts as I close my eyes to sleep, turning those ideas over and over in my head until sleep takes me.

    <hr>

    I''m sinking in the dark, everything falling away. That''s when things start to make sense. With nothing but the void and reality, the energy is so clear and pristine. All tangled and bottled up, just pop the lid and away it goes! It all returns, just like it''s supposed to be, and I wave it goodbye until I start to wonder, what am I doing...?

    ¡°Mm?¡± I think I''m awake again...? I sit up, rubbing my eyes groggily. That was a weird dream... ¡°Wait...¡± I don''t think that was a dream, was it? Was it... soda or something? What?

    I don''t get it. Even half asleep, it doesn''t compute to my waking mind. Something was flying...? I shake my head, trying to wake up a little, but that just sends the wisps of memory fleeting away into nothingness. I blink a little. What was I thinking about?

    ¡°Time, time...¡± I mumble. I grab my mobile and check it and... yeah, it''s like three in the morning. ¡°Ugh, I''m going back to sleep,¡± I complain to myself, flopping back down and snuggling further into my comfortable blankets.

    <hr>

    I spend the whole next day hedging back and forth, starting and stopping in my attempts to ask Jen if she wants to come shopping. Leona frowns at me, but doesn''t push me any more. I meet up with Gon again at lunch and we finish most of our project, and thankfully it looks like Leona is getting work done one her own too.

    School ends and Leona checks me again, and we''re both surprised when I don''t have quite as much energy built up as before. When she asks, I have no idea.

    ¡°I was thinking about it a lot last night, but I couldn''t come up with anything. I don''t... think I burned off the energy?¡± I reply uncertainly. I mean, I fell asleep last night, then everything after is that dull haze of sleep until I woke up for school. Did I like, figure it out in my sleep, or wake up and suddenly get it in the middle of the night?

    If so, it''s completely lost to me, buried under unconsciousness and sleep.

    ¡°Sorry, I wish I knew...¡± I sigh, but Leona waves it off.

    ¡°It''s fine, Seiko. Whatever happened, it helped. Thanks.¡± We share a quiet smile before moving on. Next up is finishing the group project in the library, after which Gon nervously agrees to go shopping over the weekend, before he heads off and I help out Leona to finish up her own... not-so-group project. For the short amount of time she spent on it between the constant naps, it''s not that bad.

    I finish off the day hanging out with Ken and Runa in our room, and it''s nice just getting to relax and feel like things are normal. They''re cute too, just sitting on his bed, leaning against each other comfortably as they watch TV. Ken even manages to wrap his arms around her, and they both look comfy. I would give them more space, but... well, that''s not really possible for me when everything outside of our room screams DANGER. I hope Ken understands...

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

    Friday comes with our group projects, and it goes decently. We got all our research and work done properly, so the teacher is satisfied.

    Everyone else gets by too, but Leona... Her partner, Larry Miller, is from the far side of our classroom. He stands there like he''s trying to disappear into the wall, while she gives a so-so presentation on her own, and sits back down. The teacher doesn''t say anything though, and the class moves on.

    At lunchtime, Leona gives me a look, and I know what I have to do. Jen is right there, but she feels so far away...

    ¡°H-hey...¡± I speak up, fighting not to choke on my words.

    Her eyebrows shoot up, shoulders trembling when our eyes meet. ¡°Yeah?¡± The heavy atmosphere instantly catches the attention of the rest of our friends, who are suddenly pretending very hard that they aren''t all listening.

    ¡°I need to go clothes shopping this weekend.¡± My lips tremble, and I feel like I''m about to cry. Is this really a good idea? ¡°C-can you... come?¡±

    She doesn''t even hesitate. ¡°Yes! I mean- sure. If, uhh, you know, if you want me to...¡± By the end, she''s wringing her hands together. She looks almost panicked.

    Leona steps in to help. ¡°We have to go to central on Saturday, so it''ll be Sunday.¡±

    ¡°Sure...¡±

    That''s all we manage to say.

    After school, the doctor looks me over before my checkup. She says my arm is healing well and should be back to normal in a week or two, which is great. Most of the rest of my injuries are more or less healed, they don''t even hurt much anymore.

    She even checks Leona, noting that her ribs are on the same timeline as my arm. Besides that, she has no other remaining injuries, probably thanks to her powers protecting from minor things like cuts and scrapes.

    Then Leona checks me. I didn''t magically burn off any energy this time, so she takes some time to recover after bowling me over with a ton of power. The more she does that though, the clearer I''m picking up on things, now that I''m paying attention.

    The air, the power, all of it. It only lasts a few moments, but I can feel the difference in the world around me. Like completely new senses opened up to me. Is this what a psion feels like? It is utterly unique, the experience of reality itself, but it''s always so fast. I can hardly look around and take things in with that strange clarity before it''s gone again.

    We head back, knock out our weekend homework, and turn in early, since we''ll be heading to central first thing in the morning again. It''s a good choice, because I''m still a groggy mess when we leave before the sun is even up.

    ¡°God, I can''t wait to get something decent to wear,¡± I complain as we board the shuttle to the city. These last few days have been killing me. Endless itchy annoyance, all over my body. The promise of comfortable clothes on the horizon is probably the only thing that''s keeping me going. We chat a bit on the shuttle, but we mostly drowse comfortably against each other until we arrive.

    After our usual lengthy walk across the stupid area with no transport terminals because dumb zoning laws, we arrive. ¡°Good morning.¡± The usual receptionist greets us, calling the lift up. We head down to Mejja''s lab, and he greets us from his desk, waving a hand without looking up.

    In his usual manner, he shunts me straight into the scanner, leaving any discussion for later.

    Once more, I lie still. I breathe in and out, nice and even, staring at the blank, gray ceiling of the roomy little box that I literally feel like I spend half of my life in. I hope he''s found some explanation, or even better a fix, for the ridiculous time-stretching effect I experience in here.

    For now, I let myself be patient. After all, it''s pretty comfortable in here, not to mention safe. If anything, it''s like my own little time chamber, a month off from all the constant troubles of my life and fear of everyone around me. When I think of it that way, it''s actually kind of nice. Even if it''s boring...

    The strangest part has to be the boredom, actually. I feel like if I was to sit on the floor in my room, I would be losing my mind from boredom within hours, but here, no matter how long passes, it doesn''t overwhelm me. It took, what, almost two, two and a half months that first time before I couldn''t take it anymore? Maybe because it isn''t actually that much real time passing?

    I''m just coming up with random explanations at this point, I guess, but it''s not like I have anything better to do.

    I spend the rest of my time in the box thinking over the stuff that happened. The bullying, being molested, being betrayed. I cry a little, but don''t completely break down this time. I have the space, the time, and the distance from it I think I need.

    After all, Vance and the others are gone, and I doubt they''ll ever appear in front of me again after what Leona did to them. I''m older and despite the trauma, I think I''m better equipped mentally to deal with regular bullies than when I was a child. I even have a group of supportive friends now. And then there''s Jen. Despite it all, it might be possible to reconnect eventually.

    I just let myself process all of those feelings for a good long while, until I feel better, like I can try to move on, at least a little. I''m in a better place than I used to be, at least facing everything that''s happened instead of being miserable all the time and trying to ignore it. I have a lot of fear, rational and irrational, and a ton of questions with very few answers, but at least I know who I want to be now. That''s a lot more than I had in the past.

    And maybe most importantly, I have the space I need to be myself. To experiment and find out just who ''me'' is. Maybe not in public, but my friends all accept me, and there are even some people who think of me as a girl first now, not just like, a guy who became a girl. And I''ve actually really been enjoying that.

    Throughout all my bits of thought here and there, I sink into the long stretches of time with nothing but the scanner''s heavy air and electric buzz. Some days I think, some I just rest. Finally, the vaguely month-long seeming time is up, and I feel the machine shut down around me.

    They open up the door and I slide out. ¡°Seiko, are you alright?¡± Leona asks immediately.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± I smile up at her. ¡°I had a lot of time to decompress, so I''m actually feeling a lot better.¡±

    That earns a sigh and a smile back. ¡°That''s good.¡± In fact, as we stand there, I realize that beside my clothes against my skin, I feel way better than I have lately. All my aches and pains are gone.

    It isn''t long until Mejja waves us into the conference room. ¡°Alright,¡± he waves a hand as we sit down. My scan unceremoniously appears in the middle of the room, flashing a few times as Leona''s energy is filtered out and my own is amplified, and we''re left with a view that looks much like the previous ones.

    Even if Mejja said my energy pathways are healing, it''s not like I can tell the difference just looking at this scan compared to the one last time. Even if I could see them side by side, I have my doubts.

    ¡°No big changes this time,¡± he waves at the floating hologram. ¡°Your recovery looks to be on track, no issues there. You do have a lot of Vicca-san''s energy built up in you though.¡± Then he turns to address Leona. ¡°I know he''s not bleeding off the energy normally, you have to get him to burn it off or you aren''t going to be able to get the data we need.¡±

    Unexpectedly, Leona looks abashed at his scolding. ¡°I know...¡±

    ¡°U-umm,¡± I speak up, knowing I have to ask. ¡°Mejja-san, the main problem is that I needed to burn it off with physical activity, but I couldn''t do it while injured.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that would be an issue,¡± he puts a hand to his chin, concerned now.

    ¡°So actually, we''ve made it this far because I managed to release some of the energy a couple times.¡± Now I have his full, undivided attention.

    ¡°The first time was when the doctor used regens to help with my injuries, and the second was on Wednesday or Thursday. I don''t actually know when or how, but I had less energy on Thursday.¡±

    ¡°Anyway,¡± I get back to my main point. ¡°The first time, I''m pretty sure I got rid of the energy, it wasn''t just an effect of the regens. I tried searching online, but I couldn''t find anything that would help me understand it.¡±

    ¡°That is... fascinating,¡± the man intones, his gaze wandering up and around the room as he thinks.

    ¡°Well, I kind of figured if there was anything, it''s probably confidential. So I was wondering, do you have any advice?¡±

    ¡°Ahh, I see.¡± He nods with understanding. ¡°You''re right, we have far more information on psions than the public. Good idea. However, we can''t help you.¡±

    ¡°O-oh?¡± The instant refusal catches me off guard.

    ¡°In the first place, you don''t have the necessary security clearance.¡±

    ¡°Oh...¡±

    ¡°But that doesn''t matter anyway, because we don''t have any information that can help you.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± Wait, they can''t tell me anything because it''s secret, but he''s going to tell me they don''t know anyway? How does that even work?

    ¡°Let me put it this way,¡± Mejja presses his palms together, pointing his hands at me. ¡°The requirement for being a psion is being able to control psionic energy. If you did do as you said, then you are a psion.¡±

    What?!

    ¡°But.¡± He waves a hand up at my scan.¡± You cannot be a psion.¡± Because I don''t have enough energy to meet the minimum requirement. ¡°Just like your continued survival despite the damage to your PEP, it''s an impossibility that, if you are correct, has occurred anyway.¡±

    I sit and stare. I already thought something similar myself during my research, but hearing it form the man who I expected to know about all things psion, my heart is doing flips.

    ¡°Normally, I would need to add you to the national psion registry now, but that''s only if we could actually confirm your ability to control psionic energy and classify you as a psion. Of course, we can''t do that, so-¡± and he throws up a big shrug. ¡°Nothing we can do now.¡±

    ¡°Umm, psionic registry?¡± I''m assuming it''s a list of all pions in Laros, but... ¡°Would that be good or bad?¡± Mejja scratches a hand through his bright green hair.

    ¡°I don''t know, both? Anyone on the registry gains social and political status, and mid-level government clearance, but it comes with restrictions on privacy and international travel, for obvious reasons. There''s also the whole psion social rigmarole to deal with.¡±

    ¡°That...¡± I don''t really know what to think. I don''t even understand all of what he said. But for now, let''s avoid any big, permanent decisions... ¡°I, umm, think I''ll pass. I don''t really want to jump into things, you know?¡±

    ¡°That''s sensible.¡± He shrugs it off. ¡°Not much point getting yourself on the psion registry when you''re tier one, it would just be a needless headache.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡±

    ¡°Well, if we''ve covered that, let''s get to the other interesting bit I''ve puzzled out about your situation.¡± I perk up a little, was there something else?

    ¡°I found evidence of the issue you''ve mentioned with the scanner. After some careful analysis, it appears that the results we''ve gotten were time stretched, as if any readings coming off of your body were subject to some sort of temporal anomaly.¡±

    I nod slowly, I think I follow so far, but he hasn''t really given me anything useful, he just confirmed that what I already told him is in fact detectable.

    ¡°Now, for what to do about this...¡± he rolls his head side to side. ¡°I haven''t found any indication of why this is occurring, it''s no help deciding how to circumvent it. But, given the psionic nature of the oddities surrounding your condition, I figure the place to start will be with changes to the energy used for the scan.¡±

    Yeah, I think I''ve lost him now. But at least he seems to have a plan.

    ¡°I''ll make some calls. The next time you come, I''ll bring in another psion to help out, see if we can produce different results.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± That''s all I can really say.

    ¡°That should be all. You two can go. And Vicca, you have to get that energy in Maka-san under control if you want to keep checking him every day. I don''t care how you do it, just get it done.¡± I''m startled when he actually sounds dead serious for once, a dangerous flash in his eyes.

    ¡°Yes, Sir.¡± Leona stands straight and salutes, the tension in her posture plainly visible. Then we go. When the lift doors close behind us, I let out a shaking breath.

    ¡°I''ve never seen him so intense before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡±

    ¡°Leona, are you alright?¡± She''s looking down after that.

    ¡°I''m fine, just...¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''ll be fine,¡± I assure her when she only gives that meager response. ¡°I''ll burn off the energy. I''m feeling way better now, my injuries don''t hurt at all anymore.¡± She shows a wan smile, but actually- ¡°No, I''m serious, Leona.¡± I pause, twisting and moving my body a bit. ¡°I actually feel really good now, like I got a ton of time to rest.¡± When I say that, a complicated look crosses her face, just for a moment.

    Then it''s gone, and she gives a more genuine smile this time. ¡°Sure, thanks a lot, Seiko.¡±

    I hesitate a little, then reach up and touch her shoulder. ¡°You''re welcome.¡± I''m not used to being the one to comfort her.

 Chapter 30 (18+)

    Leona''s mood lifts slowly, but she still feels a bit sullen after we get on the shuttle back to school, so I think for a bit, until I have an idea. ¡°Hey, let''s go see a movie.¡±

    ¡°A movie?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I think it will help you feel better.¡±

    Leona sighs and leans closer, wrapping one arm around my shoulder. ¡°Thanks again, Seiko.¡± We get the shuttle to change destinations, stopping at a theater along our route, and decide on some big flashy action movie this time.

    It turns out to be a sort of war movie, and I''m actually kind of worried how Leona will react, but she seems to enjoy it. Stuffing ourselves with movie theater snacks since we''re hungry probably helps.

    When it closes out with the heroes, victorious over some fictitious enemy force, she has a pleasant expression. The credits roll, and we leave, boarding another shuttle back to school.

    ¡°It wasn''t very realistic, but I liked how they strategized, taking the enemy force into account. Since they''d never have weapons like that in real life, I think they actually responded pretty well based on what they were dealing with,¡± Leona comments after some thought.

    ¡°Oh?¡± I mean, I guess, but it''s not like I know anything about war.

    ¡°Yeah, since the Froll soldiers all had those close range energy weapons, it was a smart move to switch to booby traps instead of ballistic weapons, it let the Laros soldiers lead them around and whittle down the larger enemy force.¡±

    ¡°Huh, that makes a lot of sense when you put it like that...¡±

    ¡°I do think Sharon-san''s powers were too convenient though,¡± she nitpicks one part. ¡°She could just throw illusions over all of their traps so no matter how many times the enemies tripped them, they couldn''t get any better at avoiding them. The chance of having that exact psion on hand is pretty much impossible.¡±

    Then she tilts her head and taps her chin. ¡°Actually, maybe it''s the other way around. They went with traps because they had Sharon-san there. That makes a lot more sense, it''s how we do things in real life...¡± I can''t help but grin. The way she analyzes the war aspects of the movie is kind of amusing, since like many other movies, a lot of it was done just so they could make the biggest, flashiest battle scenes they could.

    That does make me wonder though... ¡°Hey, about those visual effects, were they realistic?¡±

    ¡°Well, some of the stuff was made up, so I can''t say much about that, but I think the conventional weapons and psionic powers were pretty much right,¡± she responds after some thoughts.

    ¡°Huh.¡± Wait... My brow furrows on its own as something jumps out at me. ¡°Hey Leona, why does it look different when you use your powers?¡±

    ¡°Different?¡± She doesn''t get it. ¡°What do you mean, different?¡±

    ¡°Well, all the psions in movies kind of just,¡± I wave a hand. ¡°Light up like the sun.¡±

    Leona glances around, like she has no idea how to respond. ¡°Yeah. Psions glow when they use their powers.¡± She says it flatly, like she doesn''t know why she''s explaining this. Which makes sense. Everyone knows psions glow when they use their powers, but-

    ¡°But why do you glow differently?¡± She''s still clearly lost, so I take a breath and try to be extremely specific when I make my next point. ¡°Ok, so, every psion I''ve ever seen in a movie has their entire body glow bright, blinding white whenever they use their powers. But you don''t do that.¡± Leona opens her mouth, like she has something to say, before closing it, letting me finish. ¡°For you, only your eyes glow, and they glow with whichever color of your power you''re using. And when you use a lot of power, the color kind of comes out of your eyes. It''s way different than any other psion.¡±

    ¡°Seiko...¡± At that point, her words fail and she''s struck speechless for some time.

    ¡°Leona?¡± She keeps blinking, taking a while to recover. Did she not realize that? No, that''s impossible. She must have seen other psions use their powers when she was in the military...

    ¡°That''s...¡± The first thing she manages to say doesn''t really help much.

    ¡°Come on Leona, what''s wrong?¡±

    She finally straightens herself out and speaks clearly. ¡°That isn''t how it looks. Here, watch.¡± Then her eyes glow faintly purple. ¡°I should be glowing faintly now.¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°No, it''s just your eyes.¡±

    ¡°That doesn''t make any sense...¡± Leona pulls out her mobile and switches to the camera, starting a video recording. ¡°Alright, let''s assume you see it differently because of whatever happened to you.¡± Oh. I straighten up when she puts forth that possibility. It''s not her that''s different. It''s me. ¡°I can''t see the glow of my own power when I use it, but it shows up in videos. Watch this.¡±

    Her eyes glow with power once more as she she looks into the camera for a few seconds, then stops, and plays the video back. ¡°See? The light just blows out the video.¡±

    I blink down at the mobile screen. ¡°Umm, no it doesn''t? It looks exactly the same, still just your eyes glowing.¡±

    ¡°...What?¡± Leona openly gapes. Then she waves her hands. ¡°Wait wait wait, you''re saying that even when it''s recorded video, you still see it differently? That doesn''t make any sense.¡± She shakes her head. ¡°Alright, turn around. I have to test this.¡±

    I frown a little and turn my back to her. It''s pretty clear now that somehow, what I see is completely different than what everyone else sees. Leona''s right, that doesn''t make any sense...

    ¡°Ok, check this video. Tell me, what faces am I making?¡± She plays back the video and once more, her eyes are glowing. Which means to her, the video displays nothing, just blown out over-exposed white.

    But to my eyes... ¡°Smiling, frowning, smiling, sticking your tongue out, tilting your chin up...¡± I easily call out the movements she makes in the video she just took.

    ¡°Alright then...¡± Leona sighs. ¡°That proves it.¡± Then she sits back, scratching a hand through her short hair. ¡°For some reason, you can just... see differently than everyone else.¡± She turns and gives me a look. ¡°Psions included.¡±

    ¡°So... what does it mean?¡± I ask.

    ¡°I have absolutely no idea.¡± We both sit in silence for a while after that.

    ¡°Is there anyone we can ask?¡± I eventually question, but I''m not expecting much.

    ¡°I highly doubt it, and it''s a really bad idea.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    Leona grimaces, hesitating for some time, before her shoulders fall in resignation, and she begins to explain. ¡°If a psion keeps their powers active, the glow is bright enough to keep them from being seen clearly. They can hide their identities on the battlefield, so you never know who your enemy is, and you can never strategize based on which psions are where.¡±

    I don''t think I''m following, and she can tell. ¡°Alright, think of it this way. One psion can shoot fire, and another can mind control your soldiers. While they have their powers active, you have no idea which is which until things either start blowing up, or your own soldiers start killing each other.¡± I cringe slightly at the mental image, then nod for her to continue.

    ¡°So, you show up to the battlefield and you see an enemy psion, you have no idea which one it is. You have a dozen different options for how to deal with them, but you have no idea what they''re capable of, so you have no idea what to choose.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ¡°Ah, it makes a lot of sense when you put it like that...¡±

    ¡°Right, so. What happens if you find someone who sees things differently? Someone who doesn''t see the glow at all and can easily identify any psion when their power is active?¡±

    It finally clicks, and my blood goes ice cold. ¡°They''re an extremely valuable asset.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. You don''t want to spend the rest of your life watching video feeds of war frontlines, do you?¡± I shake my head stiffly. ¡°Then my suggestion is just, never tell anyone else about this. No one would ever expect you to see what you do, so as long as you don''t talk about it, no one will ever know.¡±

    ¡°A-alright, I''ll do that. Thanks for the warning, Leona. I really don''t want to end up in the military...¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry, you won''t.¡± Then she grins a little, and tries to lighten the mood. ¡°Well, except that technically you''re already in the military.¡±

    ¡°Hehe, good point,¡± I snicker. That manages to break the tension, and we settle in comfortably the rest of the way back to school.

    It''s pretty late when we arrive since we stopped for that movie. We don''t need to go to the infirmary, but I ask to go anyway to get my injuries looked at. Leona agrees, and we head over.

    ¡°Hey, I''m feeling a lot better, can you check my injuries again?¡± I ask the doctor when we get there. It''s weird, I don''t even feel injured, but I''m not about to start jumping around without the doctor''s go ahead. Besides, didn''t she say I have another couple weeks for my broken arm to heal... yesterday, was it?

    ¡°Fine, let''s take a look.¡± She has me lie down on a bed and starts it up to scan over my injuries, and I can''t help the wry grin that creeps onto my face. I''m doing nothing but lying around and getting scanned with different machines today, aren''t I?

    Soon enough, the results come in.

    ¡°Huh?!¡± the doctor balks. ¡°Gone, all your injuries are gone! Maka-chan, I need to see this for myself.¡± When the doctor takes a quick step forward, the intensity in her eyes sends me fleeing into the wall behind me on reflex, before Leona slides between us so fast she''s like a blur.

    ¡°Stop!¡± Her command is enough to bring the blue-haired woman to heel. ¡°You''re scaring Seiko.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I''m sorry,¡± she apologizes, though she looks confused. ¡°But, there''s nothing to be scared of.¡±

    ¡°Remember what happened? Seiko is very sensitive now. Especially to touch.¡± Leona scolds her. We never actually told the doctor about it, but she overheard more than enough of us talking to get the picture.

    ¡°Y-yes, that''s right, my apologies...¡± The doctor cringes when she remembers, and softens her tone, then asks, ¡°Maka-chan, would you allow me to examine you for injuries?¡±

    ¡°A-alright.¡± I stammer a little, still off balance from all of this.

    I slide forward on the bed again while she asks, ¡°Could you get undressed? You can leave your underwear on.¡± I do as requested, then lie still as the doctor goes over me, examining the spots previously bandaged, and takes extra time ever so gently having me move my no longer broken arm, searching for any remaining issues or pain. At least we already told her about my skin issues, so we don''t have to deal with that at the same time.

    ¡°Huh... I have no idea how, but you''ve made a full recovery. At least a week or two ahead of schedule. Did you do something since yesterday that would cause this?¡±

    I think Leona and I realize the same thing at the same time. Our eyes meet, and our faces say it all. The time stretching affects my body?!

    ¡°W-wait, so it doesn''t just feel like a month, it is a month?¡± I stammer out at her.

    ¡°I can''t think of anything else.¡±

    ¡°No but, wouldn''t I die of starvation?¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily, psionics don''t have to make sense. Remember, you don''t sleep either.¡±

    ¡°Then what about my body? If I heal, do I grow? Do I age?¡±

    ¡°I have... no idea...¡± Leona sighs out, pressing a hand to her head. ¡°I''m sorry Seiko, it''s all questions and no answers.¡±

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I don''t really know what to say, but now I''m reaching behind myself to check the length of my hair. One month of growth might not be something that''s immediately noticeable, it''s hard to say. It is a good bit below the bottom of my shoulder blades now...

    I pull some in front of me and notice that it goes about halfway down my ribs, well past my breasts. ¡°You should get a haircut,¡± the doctor comments. ¡°It''s been growing at a pretty miraculous rate, but you have a lot of damage and split ends. When was the last time you cut it?¡±

    ¡°I don''t want to cut my hair,¡± I respond, automatically on the defensive.

    ¡°Hm? Why not?¡± she asks curiously.

    ¡°I...¡± When I realize what I''m doing, I stop with a sad sigh. ¡°I always told my parents I thought it was cool, like a rock star or something. Obviously that was an excuse,¡± I roll my eyes at myself. I can''t believe I bought that. Did I really tell the lie so many times I convinced myself? ¡°So... yeah, I did it to protect my hair from getting cut off.¡±

    Doctor Belinda winces. ¡°Yeah, that sounds rough. But what I''m talking about is a trim. It''s important for women to get regular trims to keep their hair healthy.¡±

    ¡°Ahh...¡± I leak out a nervous reply. Can I really get my hair cut like a girl? They won''t try to chop it all off? Like when I was a kid?

    ¡°Here, since it''s been however many years without a proper cut, I''d recommend about four or five centimeters.¡± She shows me visually with her fingers, indicating how much to take off. It''s... just a little bit at the ends, nowhere near cutting it all off. ¡°It''s a lot since it''s the first cut, but it would be good for your hair.¡± She thinks that''s a lot? The thought is kind of amusing and helps calm me down with at the idea of a hair cut.

    ¡°Alright, that''s a good idea,¡± I admit. ¡°Thanks, Doctor.¡±

    ¡°No problem, Maka-chan. So, would you care to explain more about how you suddenly healed?¡± She smoothly transitions back to the previous topic from before we got sidetracked.

    ¡°Ahh, that...¡±

    Leona steps in to help, giving a brief explanation of how the scanner at psi-ops makes me feel like a lot more time is passing, and how that may actually be real time for me rather than just a weird trick of my perception.

    The poor doctor has absolutely no idea how to deal with that explanation, so we simply move on. I thank her for the checkup, and we head out. The sun is already going down, so we return to the dorm, and I cook something, relishing in my ability to use two hands again, and then retreat to our own rooms for the night.

    I know I need to burn energy, so I fight with my weights, making a futile effort to lift them. At least Ken isn''t here to watch and make me feel even more awkward about this. To think I used to curl these easily, now I literally cannot budge the heaviest from the floor at all. With both hands and my legs, I can manage the lightest, but that''s not really an accomplishment...

    I keep at it for as long as my newly healed up body holds out. When every one of my muscles has turned to jelly, I collapse, panting and gasping on the floor, until I can move enough to stagger upright and take a shower.

    Unfortunately, I wind up in the same predicament as the last time I wore myself out, struggling with my bra for a while before I manage to muster the arm strength to get the tight elastic off. I really need to get bigger ones tomorrow...

    Once I do manage to wriggle out of my awful clothing, I step into the shower water, and I feel like I''m going to melt. ¡°Holy...¡± Unlike my clothes, the hot water feels fucking incredible running over my sensitive skin. This is my first shower since the changes I experienced from the regens, isn''t it? That first one must have just gotten all the old dead stuff off.

    So now, I can''t help the moan that escapes at all. It''s like every part of me is being caressed, stroked lightly by gentle heat. I flush hot, my skin tingling even more. I''m getting turned on by this?

    Why wouldn''t I? It''s so good. Without another thought, I touch myself, letting my hands explore the places I discovered last time, stroking and massaging the spots that make me feel good for a minute, the hot water touching me everywhere else.

    As I''ve noticed before, the experience is worlds different from arousal as a man. I just feel good. But at the same time, I can still function, at least for now. I did lose it when that psionic effect made me way too aroused, but that hardly counts.

    There''s one sensation that makes me dizzy even now though. My breasts. Every drop of water is like a tiny electric tingle across them. I turn my back to the showerhead because it''s a bit much, but bring my hands up and rub them a little myself.

    They''re still kind of sore, but they feel so good in my hands. ¡°Mmm...¡± Of course I''ve heard men''s locker room talk about grabbing boobs and sex and all that, so I know it''s supposed to feel good for women, but I never imagined it would be like this. They never feel this good when I touch them normally!

    After some time gently caressing one, I poke my nipple experimentally and wince. Yeah, way too sensitive. I return my attention to the rest of my body, enjoying every sensation.

    After my breasts, I''m still a little intimidated by my crotch, so I just leave that alone and focus elsewhere. Like the back of my head and neck. When I let the hot water wash down my hair and massage the back my my scalp, it''s absolute bliss.

    Even worked up like this, I still have the presence of mind to work my way through showering properly, though it takes a while longer than usual as I stop regularly to just enjoy the pleasure.

    When I get out, I towel off, but I still feel hot. Still worked up and excited, but also vaguely sleepy, my body quietly craving more touch. Just putting lotion on has me biting my lip as my heart flutters.

    I start to put my clothes on, but my shirt is so scratchy on my already hot, aroused skin, that I can''t take it. The feeling of all that fabric, sliding and scraping and rubbing makes all my insides twist and I clench my legs together automatically. This feeling - I''m getting wet. I''ve heard men talk about this, so this is how it feels? Was I already wet? I couldn''t really tell in the shower...

    With my wandering thoughts, I abandon the clothes and wrap a towel around myself. It isn''t that much better, but it''s something. Peeking out of the wash room, I look around to confirm our room is empty right now. All my clothes go in the laundry, and I slide into bed, covered with my wonderful blanket.

    It takes some time for my body to calm down, but it does so without issue. Despite the little clothing problem at the end, that was incredible. I definitely need to do it again when I have the time. Wait, I hope showers don''t always make me feel like that, it would be a bit much to handle...

    Once I''ve calmed down again, the sleepiness comes to the forefront, and I slip off for the night, really looking forward to shopping tomorrow.

 Chapter 31

    When my alarm wakes me, I sit up drowsily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. ¡°Ahhh....¡± I groan and stretch my arms high up over my head. Yeah, that feels good...

    Flopping them down at my sides, I turn to see Ken in his chair. The TV is on, but he''s looking at the ceiling, a strange, amused grin on his face.

    ¡°Ken?¡±

    He chuckles and waves a hand at me, still not looking. ¡°What am I going to do with you?¡± he laughs out.

    ¡°Mm?¡±

    When I don''t get it, he goes, ¡°Thanks for the show, but I already have a girlfriend.¡±

    Oh. My arms come up to cover myself as I blush, but... Alright, I guess it is kind of funny. It''s a lot less embarrassing since Ken isn''t weird about it.

    ¡°Fine, fine, getting dressed,¡± I pretend pout, but I''m definitely not fooling him with that. I get up and pull some random, crappy clothes from my dresser. They get tossed on to give Ken''s eyes ¨C and my heart ¨C a break.

    When I sit back on my bed, I can''t help but notice the bulge in his pants. I don''t mention it, I still remember how horrible that felt, my body reacting like that without any way to control it. So awful and nothing like how I felt last night. Ugh...

    Trying to put those awful old thoughts from mind, I lie back and grab a crab plush, rubbing it softly against my cheek to enjoy the cushy, velvety texture. If only I could wear clothing this comfortable.

    Let''s see, we''re supposed to go shopping in a bit, right? I should head out to meet up with everyone. Before that, breakfast. ¡°Hey Ken, breakfast?¡± I call, and he agrees.

    It feels like most of my practice has centered around eggs and sandwiches up to this point. Hoping to expand a little, I ignore the eyes of the guys pull out chicken today. But what do I do with it...?

    ¡°Oh, I know.¡± I search around some until I find some potatoes and ground beef. It takes some time to chop everything up, but I think I''m getting pretty good with a knife now. Cutting through the sturdy potatoes takes a lot of strength though, so that''s the hardest part, and I have to be careful to keep my fingers away from the blade. I just healed and I''m not looking to head back to the infirmary so soon.

    I remember seeing Mom do this. The beef gets thrown into the pan and broken up with a spatula, releasing fat. Mom always drained it off or used it for other stuff. Here, I leave it. I throw in the chopped potatoes and chicken, and remember to add salt and pepper this time.

    I turn up the heat and keep stirring everything around in the pan, getting it nice and fried up, then plate it. Easy, and... well, it''s meat heavy and lacking in vegetables, but it''s still all fresh ingredients, so it shouldn''t be too bad nutritionally.

    It''s surprising how much it makes though. Two potatoes and some meat turned into an absolute mountain of food. I eat until I''m full myself, while Ken really lays into the rest of it. I guess he needs a lot of food for that huge body of his.

    When I think about that, I bring it up, and after comparing numbers, we find that Ken weighs two and a half times what I do. That''s... woah. If he wasn''t my best friend, I''d be absolutely terrified of him. Once we finish and I throw everything in the cleaner, Ken escorts me outside, where Leona is already waiting.

    In fact, all our friends are there already. Plus Matt Bell. I guess we''ve gotten in the habit of meeting up here, huh?

    Ken and Leona share a look for a moment, like he''s passing me off to her. Actually, I think that''s exactly what they''re doing. As soon as that''s done, he goes over to Runa and pulls her into a quick hug. She hugs him back, but... I don''t know, something feels off. When they come apart again, they both sit against the wall of the building, leaning into each other. Whatever I felt, it''s gone.

    No time to wonder about that, because I''m already turning to meet Jen''s gaze. Everyone quiets. We haven''t said anything, but everyone knows something happened. She still looks so guilty when our eyes meet, I''m hit with a confused tumult of emotions. Fear and anger, but also pity, and no small amount of pain. I can''t even pull the tangled feelings apart at all.

    ¡°Hi.¡±

    ¡°Hi.¡± We exchange a tense greeting, continuing to stare at each other while everyone else attempts to pretend nothing is happening and continue chatting. Thankfully, it doesn''t go on for too long before Gon shows up.

    ¡°Hi, umm...¡± he glances across all of the gathered faces. ¡°I didn''t realize, uhh, there would be, you know...¡±

    When I pick up his meaning, I correct him. ¡°Oh, no, these are my friends. Only a few are coming with us today.¡±

    ¡°Oh goo-¡± he catches himself. ¡°O-ok, well, umm, hi everyone, I''m Trace Gon.¡± He bows with his introduction, face still tight and anxious.

    ¡°He sits between me and Ken,¡± I explain, ¡°he''s never in class during breaks, so I sit in his seat.¡± Most everyone nods simply. Apart from Jen and Runa since they''re in class D, I think they already know him. ¡°Let''s go?¡±

    We all break up to go our own ways for the day. Ken going off with Runa, and Lucy, Amari, and Bell sticking together. Leona, Gon, and Jen join me on our way to the transport terminal. We hop on a shuttle with a somewhat smaller crowd of students than usual. I guess the mall isn''t as busy on Sunday.

    They all bail at the first stop, while we continue on to Pilkton Square, the same shopping center where we went for clothes the first time. It''s a bit of a somber trip. Gon gives me a basic overview of different fabric types, but it''s a little hard to focus on him consistently with Jen on the other side of the shuttle giving off the air of a sad puppy the entire time. Is it really a good idea to bring her for this...?

    Once the shuttle stops, we get off, and I bite my lip. Let''s just... try this...

    ¡°H-hey, Jen.¡±

    ¡°Yes?!¡± she flinches after responding a little too loud.

    ¡°Where should we go first?¡± It doesn''t really matter to me. I guess it''s just... a way to interact with her again...

    ¡°Well, let''s see, umm, where do you need to go today?¡± It''s such a plain question, but it''s loaded with so much tension, it makes me wince slightly.

    Even so, I try to answer evenly. ¡°I need clothing, bras, and a hair cut.¡±

    Jen nods, the movement so stiff it''s almost robotic. ¡°Right. I''d say bras, then hair, then clothes.¡±

    ¡°Ok.¡± Some part of me wants to ask why, just to keep her talking. Keep attempting to connect.

    Another part wants me to refuse her advice just because. That part isn''t helping, so I ignore it. Still, I can''t manage to push through the heavy atmosphere to continue the conversation while we head to the lingerie store. I just stick close to Leona''s side and glance Gon''s way, since he''s been so quiet.

    Even he has caught onto the tension and is clearly trying not to get into it. From the blush on his cheeks and his wandering eyes when we arrive in front of our destination, it looks like he''s going to stay silent for now.

    When we go inside, Lucy''s older sister is at the counter. There are also a couple older women off in different sections of the store. Just seeing other people in here makes me nervous. I forgot how embarrassing it is to walk through a store with so much underwear. Especially how skimpy and revealing some of it is! Do people really wear this stuff?

    ¡°Good to see you, Corro-chan, Maka-chan.¡±

    ¡°You too, Miki-san.¡± I offer a small wave. She quirks an eyebrow, glances across our group, and immediately seems to pick up on our awkward tension. ¡°So, anything you''re looking for today?¡±

    ¡°More bras.¡± Even though we''ve done this before, I still can''t help the blush of my cheeks.

    ¡°Alright, they''re just over this way.¡± She leads us like last time, stopping at one small rack. ¡°Are you sure you still want unpadded?¡±

    ¡°W-well, yeah, umm...¡± I don''t know. Actually, what''s the difference? ¡°Sorry, what''s the difference between padded and unpadded?¡±

    Miki looks a little amused. ¡°It''s just how it sounds. Padded bras have a soft pad inside of them. Mainly, it helps add a little more size to your bust.¡± She sends a look down at my chest, and my cheeks heat slightly. I know they''re still small... ¡°Also, they help keep your nipples from showing through your shirt.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Umm, yeah, then unpadded are fine...¡± As underwhelming as their current size is, it''s the only reason I can still hide them at school. Intentionally making them more noticeable is literally the worst idea.

    ¡°Mmmm,¡± she purrs, narrowing her eyes at me like a cat, ¡°interesting. Here.¡± Dropping the look, she tilts her head slightly to the rack of packages. I step forward, and gulp. Even if it''s a small section, there are more than a dozen different options. My eyes skim across all the different packages. I think I have some idea, but...

    I turn around. I asked her to come after all... ¡°...Jen...?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah. I''ll help.¡± She comes up beside me, and we both pause a moment, acutely aware that there''s only a short space between us. Returning her gaze to the shelf, she scans it shortly. ¡°So... why do you need new bras?¡±

    ¡°Mine are getting too small.¡±

    ¡°Ok.¡± I catch Miki looking back and forth between us throughout our awkward, clipped conversation. She has this sour look on her face, but doesn''t say anything. Jen looks over the shelf again before pulling one package. ¡°Here.¡± I hesitate when she holds the package out for me to take.

    Come on, she''s helping me, just like I asked. She''s trying so hard. With a trembling hand, I take the package and say, ¡°Thanks.¡± I look at it and read. Rivocconi brand, three pack, sports bras, light skin tone, unpadded, medium size... I try to commit it to memory so I can actually get more if I need to alone next time.

    At least I know they should be good, my bras are the only article of clothing I own that are soft enough they don''t feel rough against my skin. Even my other...-

    Oh crap I didn''t think of that earlier. My other underwear is no good, all my boxers are awful. The only saving grace is how they''re shaped to leave space and not to really go up between my legs, so I don''t have to deal with them feeling scratchy and terrible on my ridiculously sensitive girl parts...

    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    But I''m getting new clothes now, I can''t just stick it out with the same scratchy underwear, can I? It''s already been a week and there''s zero sign of my body hair growing back. It looks like I''ll be dealing with the changes to my skin for a long time, if not forever. So clothes that don''t drive me insane are non-negotiable.

    With that in mind, I''ve dealt with the male boxers until now, but if I''m buying new, should I get more boxers, or should I actually switch to girl panties...?

    I realize all of that at once as I stare at the package of bras in my hand, probably for too long, because Leona raises her voice. ¡°Seiko? Are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah, sorry. I just realized... I need to replace all my underwear too, don''t I?¡± I ask her.

    ¡°Mm, yeah, none of what you have is comfortable enough to wear now, is it?¡± Her response confuses the other two women. Gon already knows, but he''s currently trying to be invisible.

    ¡°Why is that?¡± Miki asks when it looks like Jen is too anxious speak up.

    ¡°I uhh, I guess you could say I just got... a skin condition?¡± That''s pretty much accurate, I think, at least in terms of the end result. ¡°It makes me a lot more sensitive to scratchy clothes, so everything I''ve been wearing until now feels terrible.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that''s unfortunate,¡± Miki frowns with a pitying expression.

    ¡°...¡± Jen opens her mouth to say something too, but can''t seem to find any words, and settles for a sorry look instead.

    ¡°So, I was wondering, do I go with more of what I have, or...?¡± I pose the question to Leona. It draws the eyes of her and Jen downward, since they know what I wear underneath. The other two catch it and follow their gazes, though they wouldn''t understand.

    Then Miki speaks again. ¡°If that''s what you''re considering, we have a good selection. What style do you wear now?¡±

    ¡°That''s, umm...¡± I flush red when she asks like that, but she looks confused, like she doesn''t know why I''m embarrassed.

    ¡°Boxer,¡± Leona suddenly answers for me. I don''t know whether to be relieved or angry or ashamed or what. Ok, definitely the shame.

    ¡°Ok, right over here.¡± Somehow, Miki isn''t phased in the slightest. She leads us to another area, with a sizable selection of underwear. Rather than being fancy display stuff like they had further to the front, these are in more plastic packages, all hanging on little hooks. She points out one area, and I see the package there. It''s labeled ''boxer.''

    Girls... have boxer style underwear? I thought- I thought girls all wore those panties. Those ones you see in movies or pictures. I glance across the lines of packages, reading. Boxer, hipster, bikini, mid-rise, boyshorts... They just keep going... Why do women have so many different types of underwear...?

    I have absolutely no idea what any of them are even supposed to mean. ¡°U-umm?¡± I turn a confused look back to the girls. Leona shows a wry grin, she knows I''m clueless about all of this. I mean, I lived with guy clothes until now! There were only two options! With a flick of her eyes, she directs me to Jen again.

    Jen... could help me with this. But...

    Do I trust her?

    To help me pick out my underwear?

    I look at her and swallow hard. I open my mouth, but I can''t get the words to come out. I try, but I can''t do it. So I kind of gesture to the rack of underwear with my head. Clearly at a loss for words herself, she bobs her head a few times, and goes searching. She heads over to the section with the boxers and looks among them, her hand reaching for one in particular, before she stops, her fingers paused just a moment from taking the package.

    Jen turns back to look at me, conflict on her face. She turns again to look over into the packages labeled boyshorts. She stands there, hesitating, then shakes her head, and goes to the bikini section. With trembling hands, she selects one, and holds it out for me.

    I swallow and take the plastic package. My hands are shaking. I can tell from her indecision how much thought she put in. That''s the Jen I know, always trying to make the best choice, to help me.

    She puts a hand up. ¡°Those-¡± She flinches a little at her own voice. ¡°Those are... cheap ones... They might not be soft enough...¡± she warns haltingly.

    ¡°Alright...¡± I nod, and with a few more words, Miki leads us over to the changing room. She rummages under the counter for a bra that matches mine. After she passes it off to me, she double checks the code on the package of underwear I''m holding, and taps it into a tablet on the counter. There''s a faint whir, before a pair of panties pops up out of a hole in the counter. Miki hands them to me, and I feel my cheeks heat faintly.

    I couldn''t actually tell since the ones in the package I''m holding are all different colors and kind of rolled up inside. Seeing them fully, they''re exactly the kind of girly underwear I always think of as ''girl panties.'' Jen specifically chose this style for me...

    As I''m thinking that, just beginning to move toward the changing room door, Jen asks, ¡°Sorry, are you sure those are sanitary?¡± Sanitary? That''s right, Jen taught me all about the importance of changing underwear regularly to avoid germs because girls can get bad infections down there if they don''t. I have no idea who or how many people have worn these already...

    ¡°No worries,¡± Miki responds easily. ¡°All our test undergarments are sterilized before and after each wear.¡±

    ¡°Alright, that''s fine then.¡± Jen sighs. I keep going, entering the changing room and closing the door behind me. It''s only after I''m out of sight that I wipe the tears from my eyes. When she does stuff like that, watching out for me, it fills me with all these complicated emotions. Grateful and happy, but sad and hurt at the same time...

    Once I bring my feelings under control, I pull off my awful clothes and slip into the new bra. It''s still nice and snug, but not as tight as the one I was wearing. I open the door again, trying my best to ignore the shocked, blushing gaze of Gon as he spins to face the other way, and call Leona over.

    ¡°Is this better?¡± I ask, turning my back to her so she can check. She slides a finger under the bottom and pulls lightly, testing the tension.

    ¡°Yeah, this one doesn''t feel too tight. It should be fine.¡± With her confirmation, I close the door again, then pull off my pants and boxers. I take the pair of girl panties and turn them around in my hands.

    ¡°Which way goes forward...?¡± I wonder quietly. I turn them around until I spot the information printed on them where a tag would go in boxers. That should be the back, right? Thinking so, I take a deep breath, and step into them. I pull them up, and they snap snugly around my hips.

    Wow, the shape is really nice. Unfortunately, her warning was on point. The moment I move even slightly, they feel all scratchy. Rubbing like that, directly against my groin, I can''t pull the things off fast enough. Holy fuck that feels awful!

    Ugh. I have to shake myself, trying to forget that sensation, which just sticks around even after I discard the panties. Ok so, definitely need something softer, I figure as I pull my boxers back on, still cringing and shuddering uncontrollably. At least these things don''t rub me there. This last week would have been impossible if they did. I swap my clothes back, then exit the changing room.

    I hand back the test underwear. Miki puts the bra under the counter, then taps out something on the console before depositing the panties for storage again.

    ¡°So, I definitely need something softer, but...¡± I hesitantly address Jen. ¡°I... liked the style. Thanks.¡±

    ¡°You''re welcome... Seiko...¡± The tiny hint of hope in her smile hurts to see. After I avert my gaze, I try to switch topics as soon as I can.

    Walking over, I address Gon for the first time in a while. ¡°Alright Gon-san, you''re up.¡±

    ¡°Huh?!¡± I looks like he''s about to panic. His eyes flick left and right, to the women''s underwear all around us.

    ¡°You said you know about different fabrics, do you have any suggestions for what to look for?¡± As I speak, I wave him up closer to Miki, who has one eyebrow so far up, it''s going to disappear into her hairline.

    ¡°W-well, umm, I, yeah, I, umm,¡± he sputters. His embarrassment is only making it worse for me though. One part of my mind is screaming that I''m about to have a guy choose the fabric of my underwear.

    Not thinking about that, not thinking about that...

    ¡°Just... forget about what it''s for, maybe?¡± I try. ¡°What do you think any good options would be?¡±

    After flailing for words a bit more, Gon finally takes a deep breath and settles down. ¡°Alright, let me think... A good place to start would be a cotton polyester blend. It''s an improvement over pure cotton, but not by much. Maybe something with a little spandex too. But synthetic fibers hold in heat and moisture, which isn''t always as good for long term wear...¡± As he gets into it, he visibly calms and starts to mutter to himself.

    ¡°So sticking to natural fiber would be best long term. Cotton in a microfiber weave would work for that and help with softness, and it''s not as expensive as it used to be. Some natural rayon might be an improvement, and there''s always linen or silk options, but they''re more expensive...¡± He bites his thumb for a moment in thought, before looking up at Miki, who is clearly very both amused and surprised at this point.

    ¡°Umm, what do you recommend?¡± he asks her, going red like he just remembered to be embarrassed again.

    Smirking, she responds, ¡°Yes, some women are sensitive to synthetic fabrics, so natural is the way to go, just to be safe. Certain blends aren''t a bad choice either.¡± She taps away at the console for some time, and I think she''s going through their catalog from what little I can see. One by one, she produces panties in about the same style as the one I tried on.

    Miki pushes them forward, and Gon''s whole face goes even brighter red. Even pretending to ignore his reaction, she can''t keep the smirk off her face as she says, ¡°These are based on your recommendations. Cotton microfiber, a cotton-rayon blend, and ever-dependable silk,¡± she finishes with a wink.

    It looks like Gon''s hit his limit. Still red out to his ears, he takes a couple steps back, waving his hands in surrender, before he covers his whole face and turns away. Still trying not to think about to save myself from the same fate, I move forward to relieve him, scooping up the three pairs of underwear and quickly excusing myself into the changing room.

    As I''m stripping off my pants and boxers, Miki tells me about their relative costs from the other side of the door, to keep that in mind. Mostly because the cotton microfiber is somewhat more expensive than the cotton-rayon, and the silk is like, triple the price of either of those. Oh, that''s... yeah, now I see why I need to keep it in mind.

    Thinking as much, I start with the cheapest option, the cotton-rayon. They''re an unassuming dark blue color. After I slide them on, I''m pleasantly surprised. The mixture is softer than the cheap cotton earlier. It''s nothing special, but it doesn''t feel terrible against my skin, especially where it sits directly against my groin. Yeah, this works.

    I try the next one, the plain white cotton microfiber, and it''s notably better, which pretty much lines up in terms of price, and actually feels really pleasant. The pink silk panties follow and I can''t say I''m surprised to find how soft and wonderful they are. I let out a low, contented breath. Yeah, these win by a landslide. If only they weren''t prohibitively expensive.

    ¡°Oh well,¡± I shrug it off. After changing back, I head out. With a few questions and suggestions from Miki, I decide on the cotton microfiber. It sounds like it will hold up better against heat and sweat, which I put my clothes through on a daily basis at this point, so that''s pretty important to me. With my decision made, we go to the section of the store where that one is, and I pick up ten pairs of the things.

    ¡°Umm, Maka-chan...?¡± Miki speaks up with a concerned expression as I''m starting to take them off the rack. ¡°I know you probably need to build up a wardrobe because of your condition, but...¡± She grimaces apologetically. ¡°We do have other options to choose from...¡± and she gestures at others on the same section.

    When I look closer, I realize that they''re the same ones I chose, just in different color options. ¡°Oh, umm, thanks... I''ll do that...¡± I... can get different color underwear? That''s an option?

    Instead of ten pairs of white panties, I change it up and get seven instead. I still get a couple white because I like how they look, but I get some blue, pink, and aqua green as well. After that, I also pick up ten pairs of the slightly cheaper ones, also in a variety of colors. I mostly manage to avoid grinning like an idiot as I do... I think.

    I figure, if I need to change my panties twice each day ¨C once in the morning and once after I sweat half to death ¨C this will be slightly more than I need to make it through a week. Those all get piled on top of my three packs of new sports bras.

    Given everything I''m already buying, I eye the silk panties. I could just get one for... I don''t know, special occasions or something? But I''m adding up everything else and the figure is already pretty staggering. Do I even have enough to cover all of this...?

    I pull out my mobile and check my bank balance.

    ¡°Woah.¡±

    Holy shit that''s right, I have like three months of pay from psi-ops sitting there now. That is a lot of money.

    With all my money concerns vanquished, I grab a pair of the silk panties too, and we go to the front to pay. The price is astronomical, but it doesn''t even put a dent in the ridiculous amount of money the government is throwing at me to basically be their lab rat. I swipe my mobile without any hesitation.

    Waving to Miki, we leave the store happily. ¡°Hey, Gon-san, Jen, thanks for the help.¡±

    ¡°You''re welcome, Maka-chan,¡± Gon replies in his usual awkward way, running a hand up through his short black hair. Jen doesn''t say anything. She just gives me this look, and that says it all. That she''s grateful I''m even willing to give her a chance, to try and reconnect.

    We keep walking, headed to our next destination. Time for my first hair cut in... how many years? I don''t know, but I''m starting to get excited and anxious at the same time...

 Chapter 32

    Since it turns out there isn''t a hair salon in this shopping center, we have to hop on a shuttle to another one nearby where we can find what we''re looking for. When we go inside, there are a number women in chairs, other women behind them, working on their hair.

    One lady at the front greets us. She looks over everyone and asks who''s here to see a stylist. I raise a hand slightly. ¡°That''s me.¡±

    ¡°Alright, right over here, miss.¡±

    Once I''m in the chair, a brunette woman approaches. ¡°Aww, what a cutie,¡± she coos. ¡°What are you here for, hun?¡±

    ¡°A... trim?¡± I don''t know, she seems nice, but it''s making me kind of anxious anyway.

    ¡°Sounds good, let''s take a look.¡± She sweeps forward, and I flinch a little, only now realizing that to cut my hair, I have to let this complete stranger touch me. No no no, Leona is right here, and the lady is a professional, she''s just here to cut my hair. I keep breathing and try to calm my racing heart.

    ¡°You have such pretty hair, I love the color. Is it natural or dyed?¡± She circles around me as she speaks.

    ¡°Natural.¡± Mom''s is silver and Dad''s is brown. Mine ended up somewhere in between at a sort of platinum blond.

    ¡°Alright,¡± she chirps, and I can feel her starting to touch my hair from behind. There''s a lump in my throat, but so far, she''s fine. She''s only touching my hair. I like people touching my hair, I remind myself.

    ¡°Looks kind of damaged at the ends, you definitely need a trim. It doesn''t look styled at all, did you have anything in mind?¡± I don''t even know what that means, so I just shake my head no.

    ¡°Hmmm, in that case, how about something cute?¡±

    ¡°Cute?¡±

    ¡°Umm...¡± Jen suddenly speaks from the side. ¡°I''m sorry, could you do something low maintenance with subtle layers? No bangs and not too much face framing?¡± The stylist raises a brow at the sudden request.

    ¡°I''m not sure how that would look, and it would be a waste of her potential...¡± She turns to look at me, like she wants my opinion. I mean, I am the customer, but I have no idea what they''re talking about.

    No, that doesn''t matter. They each have an opinion on what would look best. The question is, do I go with the recommendation of the hair stylist, or Jen? Do I believe Jen would make a better decision than a professional? No, not really. What does she even know about hair?

    Then why did she make the recommendation? She wouldn''t without a reason, right? Do I trust her enough to follow her word blindly?

    ...No. Not anymore.

    ¡°I''ll... go with your recommendation,¡± I tell the stylist. ¡°You said something cute?¡± Jen''s entire frame shrinks as she steps away, and I want to be sick. Why does seeing her like that have to hurt so much, even after what she did...?

    ¡°Alright then, I''ll get to it.¡± The stylist wraps a big black thing around me. I feel anxious and enclosed at first, but I can tell just by looking at it that it''s for keeping cut hair from getting all over my clothes.

    ¡°You have fine, straight hair, so I''m thinking a wavy up-braid would help with volume and fringe bangs would compliment the shape of your face. What do you think?¡±

    ¡°Umm, I''m sorry. Honestly, I don''t really know. I''ve never had my hair done before,¡± I admit. Maybe she''ll explain things a little better if she knows I don''t understand.

    However- ¡°Ah, then just leave everything to me. I''ll make you the cutest girl in your class.¡± She gives me a big, confident grin, but her words finally click on my head. My eyes flick to Jen, biting her lip and wringing her hands, like she''s about to cry.

    ¡°U-umm, wait, sorry, I uh, I changed my mind! Could you do it like she said please?¡± I wave a hand in Jen''s direction from under the big black cover in panic. If she made my hair that cute and girly, as much as I''m sure I''d love it, there''s no way I could possibly hide it at school. Everyone would see!

    That''s why Jen said what she did. Because she knew the stylist would make me look too good.

    ¡°Really?¡± the woman scoffs, irritated after I suddenly change my mind like that. ¡°It would be such a waste!¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry, that''s what I want.¡± Even as I cringe, I try not to cry under her harsh gaze.

    ¡°Fine, fine. I can''t guarantee the results though.¡±

    ¡°That''s ok...¡±

    The woman huffs, but gets to her job, washing and trimming my hair with practiced, careful hands. At first I''m a little stiff and nervous, but the professional air soon helps me relax and let her work. She blow dries it, which takes some time, before applying more hair product and snipping here and there with her scissors. It takes a surprisingly long time, with her turning me in the stiff, rotating chair.

    When she finally seems satisfied, she rinses and blow dries my hair one last time, before putting me in front of a mirror.

    ¡°Ooohhh...¡± I turn in place as I look myself over. My hair is kind of... fluffier than before. It feels strangely airy as I turn and it flows around my neck and back. It isn''t a huge change though, so it shouldn''t cause any big trouble at school either.

    It does feel wonderful to run my fingers through, even more than usual, and I don''t get any snags at the ends either. She didn''t even take off all that much. It''s around the bottoms of my shoulder blades again, but it still feels long and amazing and feminine. I love my hair...

    ¡°Thanks, this is nice.¡±

    ¡°Ehh, if you say so,¡± the stylist sighs, clearly disappointed. A small part of me is too, I know she could have made me even prettier, but I just can''t right now.

    ¡°...Can I see...?¡± Jen comes in hesitantly, keeping a few steps back.

    ¡°Sure.¡± Again, she knew exactly what I needed. Just like she always has...

    Jen slowly comes closer, stepping carefully around me without intruding on my little bubble of personal space. While she''s hovering, awkward and conflicted are emotions playing over her face. I think how it''s thanks to her that my first haircut didn''t turn into a disaster.

    My words come out low and tremulous. ¡°You... can touch it...¡± Hardly more than a whisper. Her eyes go wide and she roots herself to the ground, a little in front of me and to my right. I can''t get myself to look directly at her. Jen''s shaking hand rises, hesitating. She reaches out, and I don''t even know what I''m feeling anymore as her fingers stretch toward me.

    Then she stops. Then she draws her hand back. Jen holds it clutched tightly in her other hand, scowling down at it, at herself. ¡°No, I...¡± She shakes her head and doesn''t say any more. She doesn''t have to, the guilt is written all over her.

    So, Jen can''t forgive herself either...

    The stylist keeps eyeing us as I pay and we leave. When we hop on a shuttle back to Pilkton Square, I sit up against Leona, hoping it will cheer me up somehow. Gon is on my other side, coming a little close for comfort. Jen''s off on the other side of the shuttle, while he leans in and speaks quietly. ¡°I don''t want to pry, but... what happened?¡±

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°Jen did something really bad.¡± I really don''t want to get into this now. ¡°I can''t blame her for it, but I also can''t forgive her. I don''t think she can either.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, that bad?¡± he mutters back with a pained grimace.

    I stare at the floor between my feet. ¡°Whatever you''re imagining, it''s worse.¡± I don''t want to think about this anymore. ¡°We''re going clothes shopping next,¡± I make it clear I''m changing topics. ¡°Please help me choose good fabrics? Also, what should I do about my uniforms?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I''ll help,¡± he agrees. ¡°You can put an order in with the uniform manufacturer if you need them made out of different fabric. They need a letter from a doctor to prove it''s necessary for you though. Given your weird skin condition, the school doctor should help you out.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± They''ll do that? I blink a few times. ¡°How do you know all that?¡± I ask in wonder.

    With another awkward expression, he looks away and just says, ¡°I clicked around their site a bit and noticed they had the option.¡± We''re pulling up to our stop, so I remind Gon to text me what sort of materials I should request later, then we get off.

    It''s a short trip across the shopping plaza to arrive at the clothing store. But before we even start, Leona pushes me into the changing room and tells me to change into my new underwear. She doesn''t have to tell me twice. The bra isn''t too big of a change, but getting out of my scratchy boxers and into the soft and comfortable panties I bought is an enormous improvement.

    When I leave the changing room, Gon is already looking through racks of clothing. I notice the look of concentration as I approach, it''s the same way he looked earlier when he really thought about the fabric for my underwear. I guess he gets like that when he''s really immersed in a task...

    Not wanting to disturb him in his element, I head to another rack of shirts. I don''t know what I''m looking for like he does, but there is one thing only I can do. I run my arm down the whole line of shirts, grabbing any that actually feel good to the touch. Not too long after, Gon comes out of his trance, arms full of shirts for me to try.

    Once more his usual shy self, he passes off the stack, and I run a hand across to test them quickly. About half fail and I hand them back immediately. He looks each one over, taking note of the fabrics involved and nodding.

    I bring the other half over into the changing room, quickly trying them one after another to determine which types I think feel the best, and show him. ¡°Alright, it''s pretty much what I expected. Blends with mixes of cotton, polyester, modal, rayon, lyocell, nylon, and spandex.¡± Gon nods a few times. Then he tells me to pick out whichever ones I want while he goes to look for something.

    I do that, searching through the pile of comfortable ones and selecting a few shirts in colors I like, and that don''t have bad pictures or patterns on them. Like, there''s one that feels really nice, but it has ''You should see my ass'' printed across the chest in big letters. Just... ugh...

    After I''m done, I see Gon is tapping through the store''s catalog at a console, before he searches around the shop, selecting one particular shirt and coming back. It''s a pastel pink with a kind of low cut v-shaped neck, but other than that, it looks like a pretty ordinary short sleeve shirt.

    ¡°Try these. I''d like to know how they compare,¡± and he extends a second shirt in his other hand, I didn''t notice before. It''s similar in style, but pale green. I''m assuming they''re made of different materials?

    ¡°Sure.¡± Just holding them in my hands, I can already tell that they feel different from the others. I take them back to the changing room, wiggling into the pink one first.

    Oh, wow. It''s so soft and clingy, it feels like a second skin. It''s amazing but... As I turn around with it on, there''s one issue. It''s kind of... restricting? Stiff? It''s weird. It feels so soft and smooth against my skin, yet it restricts my movement at the same time. I''m not even sure how that''s possible, it seems contradictory. Compared to the absurd comfiness, it''s not much of an inconvenience, but it''s still really weird.

    After taking some time to just rub the shirt all over my body, I replace it with the green one. It''s also somewhat more comfortable than the other stuff I''ve tried on. Still not as good as the pink, but also missing the odd stiffness. Once I''m done testing them, I go out and report my findings to Gon. I wonder what he''s looking for with these?

    ¡°Mainly, I wanted to know whether there really was an improvement with mechanically processed bamboo fibers compared to viscose and rayon. It sounds like it''s a trade off. I guess they still haven''t perfected the the manufacturing process, or maybe the amount of stiffness isn''t something normal people would notice. Or it could be the weave, or it could even disappear after a few washes. Hard to say.¡± I didn''t follow any of that, but I nod along anyway. He really does know a lot about this, doesn''t he...?

    Still, ¡°Umm, normal people?¡± It feels uncomfortable when he says it like that...

    ¡°Oh,¡± he stiffens up. ¡°I meant it in a good way! Like, your skin condition makes you kind of special. You can feel the minute differences in cloth people like me can''t. Like, a mini-superpower or something?¡±

    ¡°Hahh...¡± It sounds cool said like that, but it''s mostly just been troublesome so far.

    ¡°Well, anyway, here are the types of fabric that we''ll focus on, alright?¡± He shows me a list he''s made up on his mobile of specific materials, and I scan it while he goes on. ¡°These should work for all your different clothes. For styles...¡± He glances around. ¡°I don''t know, that mostly depends on what you like.¡±

    I consider that for a moment, until Leona comes over. ¡°Seiko, remember that you need to buy two sets of clothing. You don''t want your only wearable clothes to be exclusively male or female styles.

    ¡°Ahh, that''s right...¡± I grimace when I look over into the men''s section. I have to get more of those...? I always hated shopping when I was younger, guy clothes were always just... bleh. It was a blessing I never outgrew anything so I never needed to go shopping for new clothes...

    ¡°Fine...¡± I pout.

    We split up, searching through the whole place, everyone piling up a wide variety of clothing for me, to the obvious confusion of the couple employees wandering the store. On one hand, it seems like a lot, but on the other... it really isn''t.

    I quickly discover that the material compositions Gon put together for what I''m actually able to wear are apparently pretty stringent. My skin is really sensitive now, huh? It isn''t a huge issue with women''s clothes, but as I''d kind of expected, the pickings from the men''s section are slim. Because men''s clothes suck. They just... aren''t made as soft and comfortable as women''s clothes. Because men are all supposed to be tough and not care about stuff like that, if my dad''s old words are anything to go by.

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I scowl faintly as I step out of the changing room in another guy shirt. It''s big and baggy and hangs off of me because even though the smallest clothing mostly fits me, anything too tight will show my breasts. So instead, All my guy clothes are a few sizes too large.

    ¡°It''s... fine,¡± I grunt. Despite being a specific cotton-poly blend, the exact same composition as a good number of the girl shirts I''ve found, it''s thicker, more rigid, and the weave just isn''t as soft or as comfortable. I know exactly what Gon was talking about about that now that I''ve felt the difference for myself.

    The worst have to be the jeans. Damn near all of the guys'' jeans are one hundred percent cotton. Not even good cotton. They feel atrocious. I only find one type of wearable men''s jeans, so I end up grabbing like a half dozen of them. Screw guy clothes, no one notices how guys dress anyway. No one will even notice they''re all the exact same pair and I don''t have the mental energy to fight with this anymore.

    On the completely opposite side of the coin, going through the women''s clothes is exciting. There are different colors instead of the endless blue-gray-black of men''s. Different styles, with every other shirt having different necklines, sleeve styles, hems, weights, just... everything. I try on dozens of different shirts, pants, leggings, even skirts!

    I step out of the changing room with a soothing, pastel green top tucked into a short black skirt, turning back and forth for the others to look. They feel so luxurious against my skin too, they definitely have a good amount of rayon in the blend. I''m surprised how fast I''m picking up telling things like that by feel alone. The texture makes me just want to rub them against myself in pure bliss.

    Giggling, I do a spin. The skirt spins with me. It feels so flowy and spinny, I swirl around again, grinning and blushing and wobbling when I lose my balance. My heart is pounding. This is amazing! I turn to look at the others, each with very different expressions, but all of their eyes on the same place.

    Leona looks amused, Jen''s uncomfortable, and Gon is red from ear to ear. Why are they looking at my skirt though? I spin a little more, and now that I''m looking, I see how it flairs straight out when I move like that. Oh, they can totally see my underwear...

    About the same time that registers, Leona steps up to stop me. ¡°Seiko, I don''t think Gon-san can take much more,¡± she warns, her amused grin faintly strained. Meanwhile, Gon is shielding his lower regions and covertly shuffling behind the racks of clothes to hide.

    My cheeks rapidly heat even as I try to stay calm. Leona and Jen have seen a lot, so that''s one thing, but I totally just flashed Gon! Not freaking out, not freaking out...

    I''m totally freaking out! The best I can do is retreat into the changing room for a while to cool off and change again.

    Note to self, skirts, while spinny and fun, have hidden dangers...

    The shopping trip continues for quite a while, but I do eventually get everything I need. Tops, pants, jackets, and yes, a few skirts. Everything, in all different assortments of colors and styles, both men''s and women''s. It''s really hard, but I greatly cull the women''s clothing from my selection before we head up to pay, only keeping my favorites. After all, I still have to wear guy clothes like ninety percent of the time on campus.

    Even with the absurd pay from psi-ops, replacing my entire wardrobe in one shot, exclusively with high-quality clothes that won''t drive me crazy, well, I do take a substantial chunk out of my savings this time. The sticker shock would probably put me on my ass if not for my new pay...

    With everything loaded up into massive clothing bags, Leona has me carry them, since the weight will help me burn off energy. And it does, the bags are fucking heavy. With a much better atmosphere than earlier, we make our way back to the transport terminal, ready to return to campus.

 Chapter 33

    While we''re on our way back to school, Gon walks me through how to order my replacement uniforms. His final decision for the fabric after our entire day out shopping is a blend of cotton, bamboo, and spandex, in varying compositions for each piece of clothing. He opts for cotton microfiber in place of regular cotton for my gym clothes though, saying the significantly increased price is worth it to help keep me from overheating. I input most of the information, but hold off on sending it in until I can talk to the doctor and get a note from her for it.

    When we''re nearing the school campus, I glance over to Jen a few times. The awkward tension definitely eased a little throughout all the clothes shopping, which is good. It''s going to take time, but I think there''s hope to fix things eventually.

    Once we split up at the transport terminal, Leona directs me first to the dorms to drop off my new clothes. We trek all the way across campus, and my arms are giving out by the time we reach the dorm building. Also, I don''t know if it''s the heat or because I''m still wearing my old clothes, but I''m absolutely dying, every bit of my clothing soaked through with sweat and the scratchy fabric is unbearable.

    But Leona just urges me on, telling me I''m doing great and we''re almost there. God, why didn''t I wear my comfortable clothes back? The junk I''m wearing now is drenched and feels like it''s going to rub my skin raw.

    As usual, all eyes are on us as we pass through the men''s dorm, but this time, everyone is staring at the huge bags of clothes I have on each arm. There are murmurs and question, wondering what''s going on, all the way through our common room. Leona opens the door for me since I can''t lift my arms from my sides, and we both enter.

    As soon as we''re out of sight of prying eyes, all the anxious, terrified tension goes out of me, and I melt onto my bed, dropping the bags off the side.

    ¡°Good job, Seiko. You made it all the way back. You really are exceptionally strong, that was quite a hike to do with so much weight.¡± Leona''s earnest compliment has me smiling at the ceiling for a few moments, before I realize-

    ¡°Ugh.¡± I roll off my bed, onto the floor with these nasty clothes. I don''t want to get my bedding all dirty and sweaty with them. Once I''ve had a minute to rest on the floor and a bottle of water, Leona urges me upright again.

    ¡°Let''s get this all taken care of, sound good?¡± she asks.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    So, we empty my dresser. Everything gets pulled out and dumped in my hamper. Then I cart the bin out the door, through the common room, with Leona close at my side and every eye on me. I dump the entire thing straight into the trash, then go back for another load.

    I try, but there''s no ignoring the conversations, not even staying below the level of whispers at this point. Everyone''s wondering why I''m suddenly replacing all my clothes. It takes a few trips to trash everything, then I pull off the vile clothes I''ve been wearing, swapping into another set of indistinct guy''s clothes that while no better looking, at least don''t feel like sweaty, chafing death rubbing against my now very irritated skin.

    When I make one last trip, clearly holding the clothes I was wearing right up until now, a few men actually laugh out loud. There''s no question among the rumors now. I''m throwing out all of my clothing. I shove them down into the trash with everything else, returning to my room with Leona one last time. I pull the new clothes from the huge bags, as well as the lingerie store bag with my new underwear, and take some time arranging all my new clothes in my dresser.

    That doesn''t actually take too long, but I do have to basically designate one spot in each drawer for the girl clothes of each type as I go. The only things that survived the cull were my uniforms, I can''t toss them until I get new ones. That drawer remains untouched.

    With all of that done, we finally head to the infirmary. A short way from the dorm, Leona gets an idea. Since my arms are tired but my legs still have some energy in them, she asks if I''m alright carrying her. It seems like a big ask, but... ¡°Sure,¡± I agree hesitantly.

    I don''t have any real issue touching Leona anymore, but having her climb up on my back is embarrassing nonetheless. I grit my teeth and push. She''s so much bigger than me, and she has a lot of solid muscle on her. She isn''t remotely fat, but she''s damn heavy.

    I struggle forward, on burning, shaking legs as I slowly but surely close in on the school building, aiming for the section near the gym. I try, I really try, but I can''t make it to the infirmary. I collapse shortly past the gym, like a puddle on the floor. When I do, it''s like all the pressure falls off of me. It''s a weird feeling, but I''m too tired and sweat-drenched to examine it very closely.

    ¡°Good job Seiko,¡± Leona praises me again as I lie on the cool floor, panting desperately for air. ¡°Just rest now.¡± She carries me to the infirmary and lays me down on the bed. Soon after, Doctor Belinda comes over with some water.

    ¡°I know Maka-chan has recovered, but please don''t push her too far, Vicca-san,¡± she sighs as she carefully has me sip water from a cup a little at a time.

    ¡°Seiko is unexpectedly strong. I know it''s rough, but I think Seiko can do it. Thanks for always working so hard,¡± she directs an unexpectedly warm smile at me.

    Once I''ve recovered enough to sit up, and downed a few more glasses of water, Leona braces herself, climbing up on top of me. ¡°Are you comfortable enough to be pinned?¡± she asks quietly. Her eyes are serious, searching mine for any signs of discomfort.

    ¡°It''s fine, thank you for asking.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± She pins my hands to the bed, and I push weakly against her. I''m already so tired, but it doesn''t really matter. I only need to keep it up for a few moments so she can lean down and check my current energy. Then she backs off, immediately asking if I''m alright again.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m fine,¡± I say. My heart rate picked up again, but I''m not panicking. I feel safe doing this with her.

    ¡°Good,¡± she doesn''t even try to hide her relief. ¡°So, you still have a lot of energy, but you burned off a lot more than I expected. Things aren''t looking too bad. It''ll take a while since we''re kind of already in the hole, but you should be able to burn it all off eventually.¡± I nod emphatically. Even if it means going back to random effects every day, I''ll feel way safer once I have my full strength back and I can protect myself again.

    Now that Leona knows how much energy she has to use, she starts charging up. I never knew this looked different to other people. I glance toward the doctor, who''s turned away. Then I look back up at Leona while I pull up my soaking wet shirt and bra.

    I''m aware of the heavy press of the air around me as she gets there, coming down with her hands pressed firmly against me. Her forehead touches mine, and my breath catches amid another blinding indigo wave. With the rush of power through me, I can feel it again. Those new senses beyond my perception. The energy. The power. It''s all there, but beyond my grasp.

    Leona pulls away, panting, with beads of sweat forming on her brow, and all the sensations fold themselves up into nothing again within the span of a breath. While I fix my clothes, Leona sends the data off, then comes back and helps me sit up on the end of the bed.

    It only takes a short conversation with the doctor, mentioning my skin issues, to get her signed letter for my special order uniforms. I add that to my pending request with the manufacturer, then send it. The automatic response comes back that they should be made and delivered in up to two days'' time. I guess I just have to put up with horrible uniforms for another couple days...

    With a tired thanks, we head back. Along the way, my I receive a second message. The invoice for my order, after someone looked it over, comes in at a pretty staggering cost, mostly because the specially processed bamboo fabric Gon recommended is considered a pretty exotic foreign product, so it''s really expensive, and they need to make me a whole set of new uniforms out of it, so it really adds up.

    Even after that is deducted, I still have a lot of money in my account, but just the thought that I went through so much in a single day is mind-boggling. I spent more money on clothes today than my entire life up to this point. Well, it''s not like there''s anything I can do for it. All that money was from psi-ops, and I sort of needed to replace all of my clothes because of everything going on because I''m working for them now, so guess it kind of evens out?

    I shrug, I''m probably overthinking it. We plod at my slow, exhausted pace back to the dorms, trying to mentally prepare myself for more school tomorrow, and Leona escorts me straight to my room again.

    When I get there, Ken is watching TV with a couple guys, but I actually recognize one of them this time. I squint and point. ¡°...Bro-...san?¡±

    He makes finger guns back. ¡°Bro~¡±

    ¡°...Bro...¡± I mumble with a sigh. What a silly name... At least I feel like he''s a probably-harmless goof. It''s the other guy I don''t recognize that puts me on edge. He''s pretty big, but he doesn''t pay me much attention after a quick glance.

    I''m all sweaty and gross, so I want to take a shower, but there are guys out here... I decide to make the best of it, digging through my dresser to pull out a change of guy clothes, with a nice big, gray hoodie. I decide to skip underwear since I''ll be going to sleep soon anyway and don''t see much reason to dirty another pair. I call out that I''m taking a shower, and the guys wave without much comment.

    Once I''m alone in the wash room, I relax. I set my change of clothes on the sink and run the shower. My dirty clothes go on the floor, balled up so no one will see the underwear when I have to carry it to the bin on my way out.

    I''ve gotten used to hiding my underwear. I have no idea what that says about me... Ignoring the thought, I tie up my hair since I''m not washing it today, and get in the shower. Just like last time, the assault of the hot water all over my body is incredible and I let out a moan without even meaning to. Shit, this is too good, I think I''m going to get turned on every time...

    I push through the feeling like butterflies in my stomach and heat flushing my skin, quickly using some body soap and a scrubber to get myself clean. I keep things short, and get out before the ridiculous caress of hot water can get me too worked up. After toweling off, I put on some lotion, frowning when I realize I''ve used more than half since I got it. I add that to my little mental shopping list, and finish, then throw my ugly, but thankfully comfortable guy clothes on.

    I shake myself, patting my cheeks and trying to get the aroused blush to go down. At least the feeling doesn''t make my body do stupid things anymore. I can just ignore it with a bit of effort.

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    Once I''m satisfied that I''m dressed inconspicuously, I pull out my hair tie to let my hair back down and head back into my room, dumping my ball of clothes down into the bottom of my empty hamper, and climb into bed.

    Despite trying not to do anything weird or draw any attention, I can feel all of the guys staring at me, their eyes following my every move as I glance in their direction in my peripheral. What is it? I have a big hoodie and jeans on, it''s not like they would notice anything, right?

    Even when I''m under the covers, I keep feeling their eyes straying in my direction. But they weren''t paying any attention to me earlier! I quickly discover that unlike when my body was male, the anxiety pushes all sexual feelings out of my head instantly. I go cold and huddle up with my plushies and duck further under my blanket until they can hardly even see my eyes peeking out anymore.

    Apparently that works. Within a few minutes, their attention shifts away from me again, but I remain that way for a while longer, scooping a ferret plush up to my chest and hugging it tight. I''m tired, but clearly not comfortable enough to sleep, so I drowse for a while, until the guys leave. Only then, do I emerge from the safety of my plush cocoon.

    ¡°Sei, did you... do something?¡± Ken asks immediately once we''re alone.

    ¡°Umm? I mean, I guess I got a hair cut? Why were you all staring at me like that?¡± For even Ken to stare...

    He glances to my hair, but doesn''t seem to recognize anything there. I guess he can''t tell the difference. Then he responds, ¡°I don''t know, you just... Sorry, this is going to sound weird.¡± I''m already frowning. ¡°You smelled really girly.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    He throws his hands up in surrender. ¡°Sorry, I don''t know. Did you use some kind of, uhh, something for your hair? Something with a strong scent? Or like, perfume or something?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I didn''t wash my hair. My body wash has a little strawberry scent to it, but nothing...¡± I wave a hand vaguely, but I know he gets my point. Nothing that would have a room full of men staring me down and saying I smell girly. Whatever that means.

    I shiver. I don''t understand what happened, but that was creepy. And potentially dangerous. Why would I smell like a girl? What do girls smell like anyway? Skin? Sweat? Everyone smells like that, and I just took a shower anyway. I shouldn''t smell like anything except what I used to clean myself.

    Without any good explanation for the disquieting experience, I text Leona about it, mostly just to let her know that something happened. Though I have no idea what. With so little information to go on, she just tells me she''ll think about it, after double checking that I feel safe now.

    Well, there isn''t much more to do about that, and I''m tired, so I eventually fall asleep.

    <hr>

    Lying across the desk, I sigh and thank Gon for his material recommendations. The exorbitant cost for these was absolutely worth it.

    Since I''d healed, I had to start participating in gym class again, which was absolute hell and left me with my skin painful and irritated until they finally delivered my new uniforms and I got to class, comfortable for the first time in way too long.

    Even if they have a bit of stiffness when I move, these feel incredible against my skin, finally giving me a break from the constant rubbing and irritation. The only issue is heat, since it''s getting hotter by the day. I think this fabric breathes pretty well, but it can only do so much through a shirt, vest, and jacket.

    In any case, I thank Gon, but as always, he isn''t actually here. I have started wondering about that. He said he avoids people, so could it be he''s not with friends like I guessed? He''s probably... hiding away alone during breaks...

    ¡°Hey, Seiko-san.¡± Amari calling me pulls me from my worries about Gon. ¡°Is that your new uniform? Can I feel?¡±

    I consider the request. I haven''t let the two purple-haired girls touch me since everything happened. But I''m feeling a lot more secure and happy lately, and at least the logical part of my brain says they''re friends and would respect my boundaries.

    It''s a good opportunity, so I take it. ¡°Sure.¡± I try to play it cool and hold my arm up for her to touch. When she does, her fingers grabbing and rubbing the soft fabric between them, I don''t even flinch this time. Yeah, I really am starting to feel better.

    ¡°Uwwaaa...¡± Amari gapes, mouth wide open like she''s about to drool. ¡°This feels incredible, what''s it made of?¡±

    While I''m recounting different parts to Amari, she waves Lucy in too. After another short hesitation, I give her the go ahead. Having both of them rub against me actually... it feels really nice.

    Yes, I like being able to touch my friends...

    It seems we draw the attention of Bray Folle, the class rep though. I''m almost worried for a moment that he''s going to chew us out for being too touchy feely, but instantly realize that''s ridiculous after everything he''s already seen us doing on breaks.

    ¡°Maka-san, everyone was saying you threw out all of your old clothing, is that a new uniform?¡±

    That''s what he''s asking about? Why is he even interested...? While I''m a little suspicious, I confirm his guess anyway.

    ¡°Alright...¡± He leans down since he''s so much taller and I''m sitting, and peers at my clothes in a way that immediately puts me on edge and Leona on her feet.

    ¡°It looks alright, I just have to confirm, it''s regulation and everything?¡±

    I blink. So that''s what this is about? ¡°Yeah, I put the order through with the manufacturer just like usual. I got the medical ok and everything.¡±

    Folle raises a brow at the last part, but doesn''t question it. Right, no one knows why I suddenly replaced my entire wardrobe. What he does says is, ¡°Alright, that''s fine, as long as our class doesn''t get in any trouble with the staff. What about summer uniforms?¡±

    I nod. ¡°Yeah, those were part of the full set.¡±

    ¡°Good good, that''s all. See ya.¡± He waves a hand without concern and returns to his seat.

    But now I''m thinking.

    ¡°Oh shit.¡±

    Our summer uniforms. We switch at the start of summer. June first. A week and a half from now. I''ve been completely shutting that out of my thoughts until now. I immediately pose the question to my friends, to a whole row of understanding grimaces. No one has an easy solution for me.

    I wind up worrying about it all day after that, only stopping after school when I have to carry Leona halfway across campus from our class to the infirmary. With this and other exercises between classes, I''ve managed to keep up our daily checkups, though I haven''t accomplished much in terms of actually decreasing the energy still inside me. There''s just so much of it. It''s really hard on Leona every day, so I''m trying my hardest too.

    Of course, that means after today''s checkup, I return to my room and attempt to lift my old weights, gritting my teeth and straining my muscles as hard as I can until I''ve got nothing left and finally collapse entirely.

    I lie on the floor for a while in a literal puddle of my own sweat, as gross as that is. I have been sweating a lot more lately, haven''t I? I guess it''s part of the changes to my skin, Leona did mention I''ll overheat more easily. Am I sweating more to compensate or something?

    Eventually, Ken comes back, and I wave at him from the floor. He stops in the doorway and jerks his head to let me know there are other people besides him, so I can quickly make myself decent by throwing my jacket back on over my drenched, very see through uniform shirt.

    I kick a towel on the floor too, to mop up the gross sweat as the guys shuffle inside. He''s with a green-haired guy I recognize, though I don''t remember his name. I''ve seen him hang out with Ken a few times before. Ken''s made a lot of friends at the dorms. Even if it makes things harder for me, I''m glad for him. That I''m not holding him back or anything.

    I quickly pull together a change of clothes and escape into the wash room to shower. After some though, I decide to wash my hair this time, wondering if I''ll see any change in the pattern of the last few days. Apparently, every time I get out of the shower, I smell really girly. Ken has so far been completely incapable of describing what that actually means, and I''m seriously wondering if it''s something with my skin. Like, the skin cells have been altered somehow to smell different when wet or hot or something.

    But it''s only when I shower. I''m sweating my ass off around these people all the time and no one ever mentions anything then. So maybe it''s a reaction to the chemicals in my body wash? Or from scrubbing away dead skin?

    I have a number of theories, but nothing has panned out yet. As planned, I wash and condition my hair, scrub myself down, and get back out pretty quick today. After toweling off, I put on some lotion, sniffing it again to make sure it still doesn''t smell, before throwing on my nondescript guy clothes and walk out into my room.

    I keep a careful eye on the guys as I walk over to my desk and pull out my homework. They aren''t staring at me this time, so I think it worked...? Does washing my hair somehow counteract the smell I give off? Something in the chemicals conflicting with whatever else is going on?

    Those questions continue to play through my head while most of my attention goes to my homework. When I eventually finish up, I roll right out of my desk chair into bed, and watch TV with the guys for a while longer.

    ¡°So, Yono-kun, how''s it going with your girlfriend? Uhh, Dann-chan?¡±

    ¡°Runa? Well...¡± As he''s starting to consider it, the guy looks away from the commercial playing on the TV and elbows him.

    ¡°You bang her yet?¡±

    ¡°Hah?!¡± Ken jolts at the question.

    ¡°Oh come on, you must have thought about it.¡± He jerks his head playfully, his spiky green hair flaring with the motion.

    ¡°W-well...¡± I see Ken''s eyes flick to me, only now realizing what''s happening through my own shock. It''s guy talk. Like guys used to do in changing rooms and stuff. The way they talk about girls when there aren''t any around.

    Except now I''m here.

    And of course, he directs the conversation my way. ¡°Come on, even Maka-kun beat you to the punch. You''ve got a girlfriend now, man, don''t you think it''s about time you get your dick wet?¡± Oh god. Why?

    ¡°Come on,¡± Ken tries waving him off. ¡°We''re going at our own pace.¡±

    ¡°Really? I''m just saying, as the man, you''d be much better off taking the reins. If you leave it to women, those legs will stay closed forever.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, I''ll, uhh, keep that in mind,¡± Ken says, clearly just trying to get out of the conversation. The guy apparently accepts that answer though, and drops it as the show comes back on. I don''t really pay much attention after that though. This was a pretty rough reminder of how some men think about women...

    A little while after, the guy leaves, and Ken turns off the TV. I''m rolled onto my side, staring at the wall with my cricket plushy held tight. I hear Ken''s footsteps approach, then the shift as he sits on the edge of my bed.

    ¡°Sei, I''m sorry.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°For Blumen-san. That must have made you uncomfortable. I''m sorry, you know how it is. Guys just... talk like that sometimes,¡± he sighs.

    ¡°You''re a guy,¡± I feel compelled to point out.

    ¡°But I''m not like that.¡± Ken argues. ¡°I''d never talk about a woman like that, it''s disgusting.¡±

    ¡°I know. But...¡± I bite my lip, then roll over to face him. ¡°You do want to have sex with Runa though, don''t you?¡±

    ¡°W-well, uhh, I-¡± he sputters, going red. Before he glances away and goes on in a gruff tone. ¡°I mean, yeah. I''m a guy. My dick tells me she''s hot, there''s nothing I can do about that. But that doesn''t mean I can do anything one-sided. I care about Runa, I can''t push her into it if she doesn''t want to, or she isn''t ready. Jen would kill me,¡± he adds, a small grin returning.

    I sigh, the knot in my chest loosening. ¡°How did I get like, the only decent guy as a friend?¡± Well, Gon and Finn are cool too... That changes my question to why so many of the guys around me are so much less sexist than everyone else, but Ken''s already answering.

    ¡°You didn''t get a good friend, you made one. You and Jen.¡± He rubs my head, smiling warmly. ¡°I saw all the horrible shit people did to you just for being yourself, so of course I learned not to be like that. Who knows what I would be like if I hadn''t met you? Thanks for that, Sei.¡± Well, that answers my question, doesn''t it?

    ¡°Thanks, Ken.¡±

    The night goes on comfortably. Ken does his homework while I surf the web for a bit, before we eventually turn in.

 Chapter 34

    The worry I''d put off about our summer uniforms comes back and continues to plague me for the remainder of the week, with no solution in sight.

    Saturday morning, I ask everyone to gather in our room because I don''t know what to do.

    I change in the wash room. A white, short sleeve polo shirt, with the usual blue tie for first years, and a pair of navy blue pants.

    I walk out into the room wearing this, my summer uniform, and there''s no question about it. Even if my breasts are still small, there''s no missing them in this outfit. With a finger rubbing along her chin, Amari steps forward and looks at me from the side.

    ¡°I think things would work with a vest. The vests are optional for the summer uniform, aren''t they?¡±

    ¡°Are they?¡± Lucy asks.

    ¡°I... think so?¡± Amari pulls out her mobile and starts searching. ¡°I thought I read it in the dress code before school started...¡±

    ¡°You read the student manual?¡± Ken laughs.

    ¡°W-well, yeah!¡± Amari huffs, ¡°I wanted to know what I could do with the uniform because normal clothes are boring...¡± She grumbles. While she''s searching, I pull out a vest and put it on over my shirt. Everyone nods. It''s loose enough to obscure the slight bulge of my chest. Then Amari finds what she''s looking for.

    ¡°Here it is. Winter Uniforms can blah blah blah... Summer uniforms. ''Men''s summer uniforms consist of a clean white polo shirt, year appropriate tie, and navy blue slacks or shorts. The top button can be buttoned or unbuttoned, and the sleeves can be rolled up into cuffs. The pants must be fit properly so they do not sag and do not reveal underwear. Pants must be cuffed if they are too long to avoid dragging on the ground. They may be replaced with shorts, but the same requirements apply, and shorts cannot end above the knees.'' I... don''t see anything about the vest...¡±

    Frowning at her mobile, she scrolls, eyes scanning, before she groans. ¡°There it is, girls can wear their vest if they want. Sorry Sei-chan.¡± There are a few sighs, before Leona speaks up.

    ¡°Actually, I think we can work with that. Since some students are allowed already, with a note from the doctor, we should be able to get you a special exemption from the administration.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that might work,¡± Lucy grins, ¡°And no normal people read the manual,¡± she takes a shot at Amari, ¡°so they''ll probably just assume it''s normal.¡±

    ¡°That sounds good,¡± I agree. ¡°But, umm, what about my gym clothes?¡±

    ¡°Ahh...¡± pretty much everyone has the same response

    ¡°Oh god, I''ve been sweating so much lately,¡± I realize aloud, ¡°My gym clothes are going to be soaked...¡± Even though I ordered off-white shirts to help with the see-through problem, they''ll still cling when that wet.

    ¡°We could... also try asking for an exception for your gym clothes, so you can keep wearing your jacket,¡± Leona suggests, but she doesn''t seem too certain of this one.

    ¡°It''s worth a shot,¡± I say, scratching a hand through my hair anxiously. We have to try.

    <hr>

    Everyone splits up for the day after that. We go right to the infirmary to talk to the doctor. ¡°I can write you the note for your normal uniform,¡± she says after we explain the problem, ¡°but... I''m not so sure about the gym clothes, Maka-chan. I''ve seen the level of physical exercise you have to do every day. Keeping that up with your skin condition, and that much clothing on, in the middle of summer? You''re going to get heat stroke.¡±

    I groan. I know she''s right. ¡°I don''t know what else to do.¡± The bed creaks lightly as I fall onto the edge of it.

    ¡°Maka-chan,¡± Doctor Belinda starts quietly. ¡°You do know, keeping things hidden was only ever going to be temporary, right? There''s no way you could hide the changes forever.¡±

    ¡°I know but...¡± I don''t think I''m ready.

    ¡°I know this is too short notice. I can write you a note to excuse you from gym for a few weeks, but that''s the best I can do, you can only miss so much class before it causes problems on your record. I don''t know if you want to just claim it''s a crazy psionic effect on your body, or really come out and tell everyone you''re actually a girl, but at this point...¡± She shrugs slightly. Either way, my life is about to change. ¡°Whichever you choose, can you prepare yourself for the change-over in that time?¡±

    I shudder. ¡°I guess I have to.¡±

    <hr>

    ¡°What do I tell my parents?¡± I ask on our way to deliver the note to the administration.

    If it''s up to me, I''m definitely going to tell everyone I''m a girl. Saying just my body got changed somehow wouldn''t cut it. Like I thought before, I''d just end up ostracized by everyone. I don''t even want to imagine the kind of things men would do to me if they thought I was a man suddenly put in a woman''s body. I''ve seen the way they talk about women as it is...

    Leona responds, ¡°That''s up to you, Seiko,¡± while I''m still considering what I said to the doctor earlier. I just... need time to mentally prepare myself.

    ¡°I know we can tell the administration they aren''t allowed to tell my parents, but there''s no way word won''t make it back to them,¡± I worry aloud. ¡°My mom always gossiped with the other parents. If anyone from Ferrvale tells their parents about me, the first thing they''ll do is tell my mom. And then she''ll tell my dad, and then-¡± I can''t breathe.

    ¡°Seiko! Seiko, calm down.¡± Leona gently pushes me over to lean against a wall. I have to take a minute to fight down the terror burning in my chest before I can even think again.

    ¡°S-sorry...¡± I mutter.

    ¡°It''s fine, Seiko,¡± Leona assures me. ¡°It''s fine to be scared. This is going to be a huge change. I don''t know what to do about your father, but your mother seems like a good person. I think you should talk to her. If you explain things, she may become an ally, rather than an enemy.¡±

    ¡°...Yeah...¡± As scared as I am, however it goes, I already know. I can''t let her find out through rumors and gossip. I have to tell Mom myself. ¡°Will you help me?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    It''s during my weekend call home after we go to the bitchy administrator''s office to turn in my note for a uniform and gym exemption, when I tell Mom I want to meet her again. I don''t have it in me to do it this weekend, and she''s busy next weekend, so we plan to meet in two weeks. It''s a short discussion to decide we''ll meet up in Teekton, since it''s partway between Ferrvale and the school. It''s obvious that Mom can tell something is up, she must know I want to talk about it when we meet.

    ¡°Just hang in there Seiko, my strong man.¡±

    I wince. ¡°Yeah, I will, Mom.¡±

    We hang up, and the next thing I know, I''m crying. Leona sits nearby, comforting me, until I feel a little better.

    <hr>

    The next days blur together. It''s all school, and working out to burn off energy, and hanging out with friends as much as I can as I try to mentally prepare myself for what''s to come. Then June arrives, with our new school term and the change to our summer uniforms. On a Friday again, like the start of our spring term. The day before I''m supposed to meet my mom.

    I get dressed, straightening out my shirt and vest, and have Ken take a look. ¡°Gonna have to be good enough,¡± he says with an understanding shrug.

    ¡°Y-yeah, pretty much.¡± With that said, we head to class. On the way across campus, I see lots of other people from the dorms heading the same way. I''m relieved to see I''m not the only one wearing a vest, though of course, the rest are women. My heart flutters a little when I realize that I''m sort of, technically dressing like a girl at school. Not really since it''s still a guy''s vest, without the bow, but it''s something.

    But that makes me remember again that come a few weeks from now, I''m not going to be able to hide it anymore. I gulp roughly. I''ve gotten to the point where it doesn''t make me panic outright, but all my insides twist up at the prospect of what happens after that. Being an outcast, being disowned, being attacked - verbally or even physically. I don''t even fully know what to expect, but I know bullying is a definite possibility. Again.

    I''m still worrying about that, and realizing I''m going to need to buy all new uniforms again, when we reach the classroom. Everyone else sits around me, with the same sort of vaguely nervous tension in the air. I am glad to see that Amari also decided to wear her vest with her uniform, and thank her quietly. It makes me feel not quite so alone in this. She laughs it off and says that she has to do something to dress up the bland summer uniform.

    But then of course, Bray Folle comes up. ¡°Maka-san, you do know that according to the dress code, only women are allowed to wear their vests with their summer uniforms, right?¡± Of course the ever-studious class rep is the one who has read the student handbook...

    I try to keep my reply even, hiding the boil of anxiety inside me. ¡°I know, I got a medical exemption from the administration.¡±

    ¡°A medical exception? To wear your vest?¡± He raises a brow, because obviously that''s a really weird thing to do.

    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    ¡°Yes.¡± I don''t explain any further. I literally can''t. Thank god the doctor is on my side...

    After his moment of suspicious hesitation, Folle shrugs. ¡°As long as it''s been approved. I''m assuming the staff already know?¡±

    ¡°Uhh.¡± I don''t know about that one. ¡°I told the administrator. She... should have told the staff?¡± It is her job, but...

    Following that conversation, I immediately discover that she did not tell any of the staff. Throughout the day, I have to explain the same thing to every teacher that comes in. There are a few interested murmurs the first time, but after that, I''m grateful that no one seems to care. Given all the previous rumors of something going on with me, Leona, and psi-ops, and how we go to the infirmary every day, it probably isn''t much of a surprise that I have ''medical stuff'' going on.

    At least there''s some upside to all those crappy rumors that have been going around for so long.

    With the start of the new term, at least we have a change in our schedule. Most of our classes are the same, but they move to different parts of the day, and we swap out our science from biology to physics.

    The big change is life skills. Taking the last class block of the day, it pushes gym earlier, with our usual non-class last period after. Life skills covers a whole array of different things that, as the name implies, we''ll actually need to know as adults.

    When the teacher starts going over the basics, he explains that things will be split up by week, rotating so we can cover everything we need to. For our first year, we''ll be switching between sex education, driving, and self-sufficiency classes, focused on cooking, cleaning, how to wash clothes, and so on.

    It''s... weird. We really could have used those self-sufficiency classes first thing, but they only start them the second term. Why? So we can see what it''s like to live on our own without knowing how? Harsh, but I could see it.

    I mean, I''ve gotten by since I at least paid some attention to Mom taking care of the house when I was younger and she took a minute here and there to show me the basics. I''ve seen the washers and driers out of order more times than I can count from the guys in the dorm having zero idea how to do their own laundry. Not to mention, I think I''m the only one on my dorm floor who''s really used the kitchen. And I''m a girl.

    And I only recently learned about sexism? God, I feel like I''ve been living with a blindfold on all these years, how could I miss crap like that going on around me?

    Also, why are we learning to drive?

    In any case, I''m surprised when we start right off with sex ed. Rather than the biological explanation of how a baby is physically made and grows inside of a woman, like we what we learned in middle school, the teacher makes it explicitly clear, right from the beginning, that we are now adults. Therefore, we will be meeting partners, dating, having sex, building families, and having children. That''s just what you do as an adult.

    ¡°As such,¡± the man declares pointedly, ¡°I will be teaching your how, and more importantly, how not to go around having children.¡± While the class that follows is kind of embarrassing to listen to, the man''s razor sharp, clinical breakdown on contraceptives is actually really informative.

    When the bell rings, I''m impressed, I actually learned a lot of useful information there, even if I''m in no situation where dating is on the table for me right now. Hell, I like women. Now that I am one ¨C physically ¨C I can''t have children anyway. Wait, can women even like other women? Is that going to be a problem? I start worrying about that during last period, while Folle stands up at the front of the class and gives some vague rundown on- Wait, what is he talking about?

    Something he said caught my attention, so I raise my hand and ask him to repeat himself.

    ¡°I said, we''ll be having physicals on Monday for the start of term, in place of our gym class. We will still be changing clothes, so make sure you bring your gym clothes with you. Also,¡± he adds, specifically to me this time, ¡°I know you are currently excused from gym, but you will need to participate in the physical too, so make sure to bring your gym clothes on Monday, Maka-san.¡±

    ¡°A-ahh...¡±

    He goes onto other topics after that, longer term things that aren''t remotely as important as the physical. I have to talk to the doctor.

    As soon as class is over, I carry Leona all the way to the infirmary on my back. ¡°Wow, Seiko,¡± she looks amazed as she praises me, once I''ve set her down just outside the door. ¡°You made it all the way here this time. I''m panting and drenched in sweat again, but I made it. I''m still too caught up with my worries to celebrate though.

    As soon as we go inside, I ask the doctor about it.

    ¡°Oh, no worries,¡± she waves off my concerns. ¡°I''ll just do your physical now. Don''t worry about changing, I''ll excuse you from it on Monday.

    ¡°Oh. Ok.¡± Yeah, that''s good. I let out a slow breath and sit down. ¡°I was really worried. You know?¡±

    ¡°Yes, that''s understandable. Do you think you''re going to be ready? You only have two weeks left.¡±

    ¡°Honestly, I don''t really know,¡± I admit. ¡°I don''t know if it''s even possible to really be ready for something like this. But I''m trying. I''m telling my mom tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Oh? I hope it goes well,¡± she says, smiling hopefully.

    ¡°Yeah, me too.¡±

    After I drink a few more glasses of water to recover, Leona checks me for today. I think I''ve burned down the energy in me, at least a little, with my brutal workouts these past weeks. Will I be able to recover my strength by the time I tell everyone? I would feel a lot safer if I could physically defend myself at that point...

    Afterward, the doctor brings me into a curtained off area for privacy while Leona lies down to recover. She has me take off my all clothes, and runs me through a whole battery of tests. Height, weight, measurements, she draws some blood... ¡°Is all of this really necessary?¡± I ask as she''s poking around with a little light in my ear. At least she''s being gentle and I''m pretty comfortable with her professional touch now.

    ¡°Not for a basic physical, but given your unique condition, this is a good opportunity to get all of your health data, you know?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that makes sense.¡± There are just so many weird things with my body, all this data might actually be extremely useful.

    When the doctor has me lift one arm and examines my armpit, she asks, ¡°So, no return of any body hair? And no growth of darker hair with puberty?¡±

    ¡°No, not that I''ve seen.¡±

    ¡°Mm...¡± She turns me around, presses on few spots around my belly, listens to my heartbeat, has me sit down and tests my knee-jerk reflexes, then takes a magnifying glass to my face, inspecting my skin and eyes. ¡°No acne yet?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Any vision problems?¡±

    ¡°I don''t think so.¡± Once she''s tested that and determined my vision is still good, she returns her attention to my skin. Peering at me close up with a little thing like a magnifying glass, the doctor pauses. ¡°Well that''s... Maka-chan, you don''t have visible pores.¡±

    ¡°Umm, is that bad?¡±

    ¡°Well, no. Most women would kill for it, but it''s just not realistic. Pores are important for skin, especially on the face. I could see yours being smaller since many pores also act as openings for hair follicles which you no longer have, but...¡± She trails off, getting a different thing and having me lie down. She puts a hand on my head, holding me very still, and leans close, pressing it to my cheek. There''s a subtle click, then she draws it back and I sit up again. When she turns it around, I see a picture on a built in screen that I can only assume is my skin.

    The doctor zooms in. ¡°See this? There should be numerous small openings for your body to let out sweat and oil necessary to keep your skin healthy, but... well,¡± and waves a hand to the picture. Then she taps at it repeatedly, the device zooming it in more and more, and I''m extremely impressed by the resolution of the camera, until we see it. ¡°Holy...¡±

    ¡°Are those...?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, those would be your pores.¡±

    She stops when she''s zoomed in far enough to finally see the absurdly tiny dots of the pores of my face. With so many of them, is that why I''m sweating so much now?

    ¡°No wonder why your skin feels so smooth.¡± The doctor is still staring. ¡°With no hair, and the scale of your pores... That might also be why it''s so sensitive. If the number of nerve endings is anything like the number of pores, that much would be a no-brainer. Of course, I''m just guessing but at this point I feel like anything goes...¡± She tilts her head to the side, rubbing a hand along her hair in confusion.

    ¡°That''s... understandable,¡± I agree. I guess we... finally got to the bottom of my skin changes...?

    ¡°Honestly, I don''t know what to make of a change like this. We''ll need to keep a close eye on it as you start to develop acne. With pores so small and close together, it could be a blessing or an absolute nightmare, there''s no way to say for sure. Also, like how you sweat now, you might produce a lot of oil and have extremely oily skin, we''ll have to wait and see.¡± I nod mutely. This is a lot to take in at once.

    ¡°Right, anyway, moving on with the physical...¡± Doctor Belinda quickly collects herself and discards the little medical camera. Next, she asks me to lie back and spread my legs.

    I''m still somewhere between shocked, hesitant, and a little uncomfortable, but I decide to say fine and do as instructed. She gives a warning, before gently touching me down there. She pokes around a little, and despite being gentle, it still makes me wince a couple times, before she finishes.

    ¡°Ok. Looks good and healthy for a woman your age, no abnormalities¡± she declares. Which is... a little comforting after that last one, actually. ¡°Just make sure you keep things clean and dry as much as you can, especially with summer here. No being lazy and forgetting to change underwear after a shower, or after sleeping.¡±

    I nod, I still remember all the awful infections I could get. ¡°I know this hardly applies to you with your current life situation, but I have to warn you anyway, just in case.¡±

    I nod and listen closely, wondering what else there could be. ¡°For now, I would recommend avoiding penetrative sex. You''re a very late bloomer, I don''t believe your vagina is developed enough, and it could be harmful until you give your body more time to catch up.¡±

    The advice is so sudden and clinical, I barely even feel the poke of embarrassment. ¡°Ok.¡±

    Wait, but I like women...

    Without the opportunity to unpack any of that, she moves on, pressing and checking a few spots in my neck and back, and doing numerous other tests that I have no idea what they''re even for. Then as she''s finishing up, a machine dings. She has me get dressed, and heads over, apparently reading out the results of my earlier blood test.

    ¡°All your levels look healthy and normal, not seeing any red flags for diseases... No drugs obviously... Your hormones are good... Yup. Blood test is all green.¡± She turns back to me and smiles. ¡°You''re in great health, Maka-chan. Also, you''re definitely in your growth spurt. You''re at one hundred fifty one centimeters and forty five kilograms right now. Compared to your last records from middle school, that''s exceptional growth. If you keep shooting up like this, you might actually end up taller than average.¡±

    ¡°U-umm, about that...¡± I speak up uncertainly. I''d love it if that was true, but there might be a little problem. ¡°I... might be aging faster. We aren''t sure.¡± I remind her about the psi-ops scanner and how the time-stretching seems to have some effect on my body. But we still don''t know how far reaching it is, whether I''m actually growing or changing faster than expected.

    ¡°Mm, I''ll definitely have to keep that in mind. But for now at least, everything looks good.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, doctor.¡±

    ¡°That''s it for now, I would like to do another full physical to monitor for any changes at the start of next term. Does that sound good?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Normal physicals are just once a year, but with everything going on with my body, that''s a really good idea.

    ¡°Well then, you''re free to go. Have a nice day.¡± She waves, and Leona, who''s been waiting patiently, joins me, saying bye to the doctor on our way out.

    With all of that out of the way and my worries about next week''s physical banished, my attention lands squarely back on the next, big, terrifying thing coming up.

    I have to tell Mom tomorrow.

 Chapter 35 (18+)

    From my afternoon checkup, we head back to my room. After a quick shower, I spend hours agonizing over tomorrow''s meeting with Mom. I keep talking at Leona, considering how to say it.

    Do I just tell her? Do I show her? Show up in girl clothes? Surprise! This is me now!

    Oh lord I think I''m going to be sick.

    Leona forces me to stop long enough to go into the common room and eat something for dinner. Cooking helps me keep my mind off of things, and I''m starving, as usual. So much exercise all the time will do that.

    After eating, it''s back to my room to low-key anxiety ramble about tomorrow. I go through my dresser, considering and reconsidering what to wear. I pull up maps, marking a bunch of spots in Teekton where we might go after we meet up.

    It''s no surprise when I break down crying. Eventually, Ken shows up, freezing in the door when he sees me crying into Leona''s lap, her stroking my hair comfortingly. He looks around, my clothes strewn all over the floor, and asks, ¡°You, uhh... need any help...?¡±

    Apparently, the question is directed at Leona, because she answers, ¡°I''m not really sure. Seiko is really stressed about tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get that,¡± he sighs, and starts collecting my clothes from the floor. He turns them around, sniffs them, then shrugs and puts them back in my still-open dresser. ¡°You want me to come?¡± he asks as he works.

    I don''t even hesitate, I nod emphatically, the motion flicking some tears from my face.

    ¡°Jen too?¡± he asks while pulling out his mobile. I freeze. He still doesn''t know. But... would having her there help? Would I feel safer? We''ve been getting along better since the shopping trip...

    ¡°No.¡± I shake my head. I have enough to worry about tomorrow. I don''t think I have the strength to add all the stuff with Jen to that.

    ¡°You sure?¡± He looks really surprised by that one.

    ¡°Yeah. There''s some... stuff right now. I can''t deal with that.¡±

    ¡°If you say so.¡± He pockets his mobile without another word, and sits down at the edge of my bed, joining Leona in rubbing a big hand over my back.

    ¡°It''ll be fine, Sei,¡± he encourages me. ¡°You''re the strongest person I know.¡± Strong? Really? When he sees my look, he grins. ¡°In here,¡± and taps my chest with a fist.

    I smile, and start crying again. At first he''s worried about what he said, but Leona waves him off and says they''re obviously happy tears. I can''t manage to speak, so I bob my head to agree.

    <hr>

    Leona doesn''t leave until I pass out, still crying in her lap. She''s there when I wake up in the morning, but in new clothes, so she must have gone back to her own room at some point overnight.

    Climbing out of bed, I feel like shit. I slept terribly, and even though it''s vague, I think I had a bunch of bad dreams about this all going wrong. I''m still anxious, even as Leona pushes me into the wash room and orders me to take a nice, long shower. She''ll pick out my clothes for me.

    It''s a great idea. I stand under the hot water, letting it run over me for a minute, the wonderful caress soon settling my anxiety. Instead of pushing aside the heat and the arousal that comes on from the warmth and wetness like I usually do to focus on showering, I let it take me. I know I need this right now.

    I lean back, letting myself focus on all the prickling drops as they roll over every centimeter of my skin. My hands come up, touching myself. Rubbing, squeezing caressing gently, allowing the water to do the rest of the job. My voice leaks out, a low moan. Sensual even to my own ears. It''s so much different like this...

    I lose myself in the pleasure. I don''t know for sure just how long. I just keep it up as the desire builds, like a heat inside me. At some point, I need more. I take the shower head down, bringing it closer, pressing it to my skin and feeling the euphoric massage of the pressurized water against my belly.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± I moan, louder this time. My head rolls back against the wall of the shower stall, and I pant out, my breath coming fast. I think I''m...

    My muscles start to twitch. I know this feeling. From back then, when I first learned how to do this. But it''s even more now. I bite my lip, shoulders trembling. The hand holding the shower head quivers, and I almost lose my grip on it. I bring it up again, rolling it around, over my belly and sides.

    My other hand touches my breast, following my instincts. ¡°Nngh!¡±

    They were too sensitive before, but now... My finger rubs across my nipple and I gasp, my toes starting to curl. It makes my head go funny, but I don''t stop this time. I keep rubbing, my back pressing against the wall as my legs go weak. The more I do it, the better it feels!

    I''m, I''m-

    ¡°Nrngaahh!¡± I practically shout when the sensation finally peaks, and my body shudders. I do lose my grip on the shower head this time, and it swings down against the other wall while I tremble, electric spasms coursing up and down my body. I slide down to the floor, panting heavily. I sit there for a bit, after shocks coming from time to time. As soon as I think they''re finished, another one washes over me.

    When they do finally taper off, I stagger up to my feet again. I still feel a little weak and twitchy, but that huge rush of pleasure definitely helped my anxiety. Maybe it''s just the afterglow, but I feel better now. More calm.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    I finally get to my actual shower, surprised when the hot water pouring over me makes my whole body shake and I immediately moan out loud. Oh shit, why does it still feel so good? I thought- That''s right, I heard about this. Girls don''t like, shut down after orgasm, do they? If anything, my body is even more sensitive now. I can barely take the water on my skin, it''s so good it almost feels painful. It makes all my insides twist up in pure bliss.

    Thinking as much, I point the shower head off to the side while I shampoo my hair and scrub myself. ¡°Oh, fuck...¡± I groan, the scrubber over my skin makes all my muscles clench up again. I push through it, but by the time I''m done, I''m panting heavily and I can hardly stand.

    ¡°Oh god, this body feels so good...¡± I mumble, running water over my head to wash the shampoo out. The conditioner goes in, and I massage it into my scalp and hair. I don''t care anymore, I just enjoy the absurdly pleasurable feelings as I rub it in. My mind clouds over and I can''t think too clearly through the heat and arousal by the time I rinse out the conditioner.

    That''s right, I''m done, aren''t I? I stagger back out, towel off, and rub lotion over my quivering, happy body. I wrap a towel around myself, and walk out of the wash room. Leona is waiting with my clothes ready, and Ken is still standing off to the side.

    Even in my current state, I jolt when his head snaps to me. ¡°Ken?¡± I ask uncertainly.

    Ken gulps. His hand covers his suddenly beat red face, then I can see him physically tear his eyes off of me. I glance to Leona, but she''s just glancing back and forth between us.

    Ken coughs roughly before he says, ¡°Sorry, you just smell. It''s really strong.¡± His voice is deep, gruff, and rumbling as he stares away from me. This again? Ken''s never reacted so strongly before. I look back at Leona, questioning whether she smells it with a look. She sniffs the air and she shrugs.

    ¡°Don''t worry, I don''t smell anything weird.¡±

    ¡°Right...¡± I take the clothes she offers me and retreat back into the wash room. ¡°What''s up with that? I washed my hair this time, but...¡± I take some time and push down the last of the arousal bubbling in my chest as I stare at the clothes Leona gave me.

    I can''t help but smile. She chose one of my usual bras, and my only pair of pink silk panties. Then there''s a pair of comfortable, very light colored, pale blue girl jeans. They''re a little loose so they won''t be immediately noticeable as such. For the top, it''s not even mine, but it''s just as comfortable as mine when I touch it. When I look at it, I remember, and star beaming.

    Once I''m dressed, I step out of the wash room, holding the big hoodie Leona included over one arm so she can see the soft pink, well cut top with the slick, pointed collar. It hugs the rest of my form nicely, showing off my still modest bust and narrow waist as well as it can. It''s not too long either, pretty much meeting the top of my jeans so when I stretch, a little skin shows through the gap. ¡°You remembered.¡±

    ¡°So did you,¡± she grins back. It''s exactly like the one she wore so long ago, the first time we hung out together, when I told her I liked her shirt. Only this is in my size, and pink, like she said would look good on me. She promised to let me borrow one ''later.'' I guess later finally came.

    Suddenly, I''m feeling a whole lot more confident for the upcoming meeting. I look good, I feel good, this is good. Yeah. I bob my head a few times as I glance around, but Ken is gone. ¡°Umm?¡±

    ¡°He stepped outside.¡±

    ¡°He keeps saying I smell ''really girly'' when I get out of the shower,¡± I explain, ¡°but I have no idea what that means and can''t find a pattern to it.¡±

    ¡°Huh.¡± She sniffs the air again and says, ¡°You smell nice, but it''s nothing huge...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I don''t get it. It''s only sometimes, but he had a much stronger reaction this time than usual.¡±

    ¡°And you didn''t do anything different this time?¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    Oh fuck I''m dense.

    ¡°N-n-nevermind!¡± I blush from ear to ear.

    ¡°I guess you figured it out?¡± She looks amused, like she knows what I did. Refusing to continue this conversation, I throw on the big black hoodie in my hands and stop thinking about that.

    It falls all the way to my thighs, completely obscuring my girl clothes. I still don''t know how I''m going to tell Mom, what I''m going to say, but if I have to show her, I just have to take off the big pullover.

    We head out of the room, and Ken''s waiting in the hall. It looks like he''s recovered from earlier, asking if we''re all set. We all head off together. We don''t have the will to make breakfast ourselves, so we don''t stop in the kitchen and decide to pick up some fast food on the way.

    As we head across campus, my anxiety slowly picks up again, until we arrive at the transport terminal, but... Jen is waiting for us.

    ¡°You''re going, right?¡±

    I stand, unsure what to say. Leona starts to step forward, until I grab her arm to stop her. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°You... can I... come with you?¡±

    ¡°...No.¡± Saying the word hurts.

    ¡°Alright.¡± Jen bows out, stepping aside. But seeing that- Seeing her accept my decision with absolutely no hesitation...

    ¡°Jen.¡± She looks up again, even with tears in her eyes. ¡°Why did you want to come?¡±

    Again, she doesn''t even think. ¡°To be there for you.¡±

    ¡°...Come.¡± I don''t understand my own decision. It just feels like the right thing. Jen nods her head, almost frantically, and moves to join us, though she still keeps a step behind. Ken sends a look my way. We still don''t talk much at school, so he hasn''t seen how stilted things are between us when we actually do.

    I think it''s pretty clear I don''t want to talk about it, but Ken can be dense too sometimes...

    ¡°What''s going on between you two?¡± he asks.

    I huff, ¡°I don''t want to talk about it right now.¡±

    ¡°That''s fine.¡± At least he backs off.

    After we get on the shuttle, it stops at the mall as usual, then a fast food place so we can eat, before speeding off toward Teekton. The ride is quiet, slowly growing more tense along the way, the closer we get.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Jen breaks the silence. ¡°Remember that time we went to Teekton? Second year middle school?¡±

    ¡°Umm...¡± I''m not really sure. They were a year ahead, so I didn''t go with them, but I don''t quite remember if my class went there either...

    ¡°There was that... uhh, trampoline place?¡± she offers. ¡°You went too, right?¡±

    ¡°...Yeah.¡± I think I do remember that place. It made enough of an impression that I enjoyed it, even on my own. ¡°What about it?¡±

    ¡°Well, umm...¡± Jen rubs her thumb along her cheek. ¡°I don''t know. Just... uhh, trying to to break the tension?¡±

    ¡°...Thanks...¡± There are a few more halting attempts at conversation after, and while none of them really go anywhere, it does help. It''s better than dead air. Between them, my friends manage to keep it up until we make it to Teekton.

 Chapter 36

    -Point of View: Shina Maka-

    I''m waiting on the bench at the transport terminal when the shuttle pulls up. I''ve been here for a half hour already. Something about Seiko calling to meet me here has me on edge. There''s something going on with him and whatever it is, good or bad, I''ll be there for him.

    The kids all climb off the shuttle, Kentan and Jenna, and also that strange new girl, Leona Vicca. Then Seiko steps down, and I can hardly believe my eyes. It''s barely been a month since I visited, but he''s even more feminine than before.

    Even his hair. He''s definitely gotten a haircut, which would be the first in years, and while it''s subtle, it''s definitely a female style. Was it intentional? Did the stylist do it because they they thought he was feminine and he didn''t know any better?

    Besides that, he has a huge, oversized black hoodie on just like last time, but with a much nicer pair of jeans. A... suspiciously nice pair of jeans. They don''t looks like anything he''s worn before. No sign of wear and tear of all his old, over-worn ones, and the way they fit his legs, it''s not obvious at a glance, but those aren''t a men''s cut.

    ...What is going on? Why would he wear something like that? They walk up, and I stand, pushing all those thoughts away for now.

    ¡°It''s good to see you again, Seiko,¡± I say, opening my arms up, and he hugs me. I notice the difference immediately. It doesn''t look like much, but the seemingly grungy hoodie he''s wearing is so soft under my hands, I wonder if it''s made of silk. What in the world?

    Again, I try to ignore it, hiding my confusion under my words. ¡°You''ve grown again, Seiko, you''re going to be taller than me in no time!¡± The top of his head is already level with my nose, if he keeps shooting up like this, he actually will get bigger.

    A small part of me is sad that my little boy won''t be so little anymore. I won''t be able to pick him up and throw him around once he''s bigger and taller, and he starts to fill out with muscle like Kentan has.

    Except... I can''t help but notice all the little changes as he hugs me. The clothes, the hair, all of it. He even smells nice. Is he wearing perfume? Or is it from his conditioner? I bring a hand up to rub his head, and even the feel of his hair is different than before. Softer and more supple under my fingers. I draw back, looking down at my perplexing son. He stares back up, his anxiety clear in his expression.

    ¡°Seiko?¡± I ask quietly. What is he nervous about? There weren''t any other incidents, were there? I brush a finger over his cheek-

    My hand flinches back on reflex. What was that?

    ¡°A-ah, umm, sorry, umm...¡± he gets all flustered by my reaction, so I reach out again, to calm him down. His skin though, it''s like nothing I''ve ever felt. Smooth and perfect, like glazed porcelain, yet with the same soft, supple feel of flesh. Skin like this would be the envy of all women, but on a man...

    He finally finds his words. ¡°I, I kind of had something happen, it sort of caused this skin condition. So now it feels weird,¡± he explains. ¡°It also made my skin really sensitive, so I had to change all my clothes, so they wouldn''t be itchy.¡±

    ¡°Ahh, I see.¡± That explains everything. Of course men''s jeans wouldn''t be comfortable enough after contracting some strange skin condition like that... It''s a pity he''s been forced into women''s clothes at a time like this though, I hope it isn''t hitting him too hard.

    ¡°Are you alright, sweetie?¡± I ask to make sure. ¡°What is this skin condition? Is it what you wanted to tell me about?¡±

    ¡°No, no,¡± he shakes his head. ¡°That''s just a weird thing that happened, you don''t need to worry about it.¡± Don''t need to worry? How could I not?! ¡°It''s not serious or anything, just a bit of a hassle, really. Besides, that''s not what I called you about anyway. Can we just go?¡±

    ¡°Sure, sure.¡± I don''t want to push and cause any more unneeded anxiety, he''ll explain things in his own time.

    ¡°Hello, kids,¡± I greet the rest of them as we come together and begin walking.

    ¡°Hi, Maka-san, it''s good to see you again,¡± Kentan returns the greeting, followed by the girls.

    ¡°So, where are we going?¡± I ask as we turn a corner in the mostly unfamiliar town. I''ve only been out this way a handful of times over the years.

    ¡°There''s this park nearby, I figured that would be a good place to talk?¡± Seiko offers, and we all agree. When we arrive, it''s quite a nice park. A playground with children running around some distance away, a few blacktop areas, some benches. As we walk through the small field, aimed toward the benches, I note that the grass is pretty well cut, if kind of scrubby and rough from the building heat of summer.

    I wonder if Seiko is hot in that jacket? We''re sitting down when I wonder about that, my next thoughts immediately following. If he had to wear women''s pants because he couldn''t find any for men that would work with his skin issues, would that go for shirts as well? He''d be so ashamed of that, no wonder why he would cover it up with a jacket, even in this heat.

    Once we''re settled on the somewhat stiff bench, Seiko glances around, but besides the kids running around over in the other section of the park, there''s no one here at this time of day.

    ¡°Is there something wrong, honey?¡± I can''t even help myself from asking. As soon as he turns to me, I can see the anxiety in his face again, in the stiffness of his shoulders and the sweat on his brow. Even his hands are clenched against his legs. Whatever it is, he''s scared.

    ¡°Nothing''s wrong, Mom,¡± he says, and it actually doesn''t just sound like lip service.

    ¡°Then why are you so worried? What is it?¡±

    ¡°I...¡± he''s starting to shake, like he''s getting choked up over something. What could it be? I pull him into my arms. He feels so frail, shaking like a small animal. ¡°I''m...¡± he mumbles into my shoulder, before audibly gulping. I can hear his shallow breath, panting like he''s about to have a full-blown panic attack.

    ¡°Whatever it is, I''m your mother. I will love and support you no matter what.¡± I squeeze my little boy tight, let him know that everything will be alright.

    ¡°Mom...¡± The words are so low, practically whispered in my ear. ¡°...I''m... a girl.¡±

    Huh?

    ¡°Alright, that''s fine sweetie, perfectly fine.¡± I rub the back of his head, while he''s shuddering and starting to cry.

    What does he mean, a girl? Like, he would rather be a girl? He wishes he was born different? Or that he just doesn''t want to be a man anymore? What could change his mind so suddenly? Were Albert''s expectations just too much for him? In my visits after he went to school, he''s only become more feminine, even with the onset of puberty.

    So, could it be physical? A chemical imbalance so puberty isn''t working correctly for him, so now he''s convinced he isn''t as much of a man as he should be?

    Or, it could even be the trauma after being molested. Does he simply not see himself as a man after what happened?

    I continue to spin in my own head for a solid minute while Seiko cries, any elaboration lost as I attempt to puzzle out anything I can from what I know. I show none of it, cooing softly and comforting my son, hoping to get him through whatever he''s going through. No matter what, I will support him, that''s a mother''s job.

    After some time, his friends who have been hanging back to give us some space, come forward, gently patting him on the back together, until he can peel himself away from my shoulder. Without any prompting, he goes on.

    ¡°I... I thought about it a lot. I don''t want to be a boy. I never did, I just- I was going with what Dad said. Lying to myself. I hated it so much-¡± That''s as far as he gets before his voice breaks and he''s crying again.

    He leans in and hugs me, hard. I wince. It''s hard to breathe, he''s way stronger than he looks. But it''s nothing I can''t handle, nothing compared to what I''ve been through before. So I bear with it and listen as he blubbers, frantic to get the words out despite the tears and sobs wracking his body.

    ¡°I was a-always a girl. I couldn''t see it, b-but I felt it. I kept saying what I thought you wanted to hear, but I w-was lying. It was all b-because of, of Dad and the bullies, so I wouldn''t get hurt, but it was never real! It was never me!¡± He keeps going on after that, but I can hardly even make out his words anymore, they''ve all turned to cries of anguish, trying to gouge my heart out.

    I can''t believe it, he''s saying this isn''t something new. That he''s always felt like this? When he told us he wanted to be a strong man, it was just a lie? Why would he lie to us like that? We''re his parents, we would support him, no matter what he does. Even if it''s something strange like trying to be the opposite gender.

    It takes a while this time, but he does eventually calm down again. I still feel like I''ve hardly processed this at all, but I show him a loving smile anyway.

    ¡°Thanks... thanks for listening...¡± he mumbles, not meeting my eyes. ¡°You don''t... hate me now, do you? Are you disappointed?¡±

    ¡°No, of course not. I''ll never be disappointed with what you want to do with your life. You''re my son.¡± He flinches at the word. The pain in his eyes, like he''s going to break down again- ¡°Sorry,¡± he said he wanted to be a girl, so, ¡°would daughter be better now?¡±

    He nods repeatedly, tears still running down his cheeks. This is going to take a lot of getting used to...

    <hr>

    When Seiko is calm again, we decide to go to a movie. It''s nice and dark and will give us all something fun to do together after such a heavy conversation. We end up watching some goofy, slapstick romantic comedy. I don''t pay much attention, mainly focusing on Seiko and his friends, and attempting to process what Seiko just told me. If he wants to be a woman, does that mean he likes men? It''s not like he could ever get one though... So he''s always going to be alone... Am I not going to get any grandchildren?

    No, Laila is only fourteen, but she''s already sweet on one of the boys in her class, she''ll probably be married sooner rather than later. Just have to warn her to to be careful because I don''t want those grandkids too early...

    I keep mulling everything over. I don''t think it''s just one of those high school phases. He always had these peculiarities about him, so having it all culminate after he goes off to school and starts to find independence is understandable. Either that, or the trauma of being molested again brought it all to a head, I can''t really say.

    But being a woman... What does Seiko even know about being a woman? He''s always been a boy and without the correct anatomy, no matter what he wants, he''ll never really be a woman. Not if he can''t bear a child, or be a mother. Not to mention, even if he says he''s female, all of his identification says otherwise. It''s not like just saying it will make it true.

    Oh god, the more I think about this, the worse it gets. What''s he going to do for any sex-separated activities or spaces? Changing rooms? Toilets? It may not be quite as bad for him since he''s so feminine he could easily pass for a girl and puberty doesn''t appear to be doing much to change that, at least for now...

    But it''s still a huge problem. If he gets caught, he could be attacked, or arrested as some sort of sex offender. And what happens when puberty finally does kick in for him properly? Once his voice drops, it doesn''t matter what he looks like anymore.

    Not to mention, how he looks or sounds is meaningless in a lot of cases. He''s male. It''s not like he could just tell the school he wants to attend as a girl, they would never accept something like that. Is he attending as a boy and only acting like a girl away from school? And what about his future job?

    The further I delve into this, the more worried I get about Seiko. Why would he decide he wants something like this? No matter how much I think, there is no upside!

    Even if I assume he somehow successfully navigates all the pitfalls and dangers, all he''ll have to show for it is being a woman. And being a woman is just, objectively worse than being a man! I would know, I''ve been dealing with it for forty years already.

    I almost wish I didn''t have a few full hours of movie to realize all of this. I briefly consider if I can change his mind, but I have no idea. He was so afraid of just telling me, I don''t want to push him right now. Besides, it doesn''t matter if I don''t understand or disagree. I said I would support him, so that''s what I''ll do. With that resolution, I watch my beautiful son... daughter(?) laugh and smile with his friends as the film comes to a close.

    After the movie, I''m surprised when it''s the seemingly stoic Vicca that chats most animatedly with Seiko about it. I give them space as we walk away from the theater. We end up at a little diner, pretty much moving on auto-pilot, where we sit as the talk of the movie finishes up. I''m just glad to see Seiko happy again.

    Seiko sits across from me, sandwiched between Kentan and Vicca, while I have Jenna to my right, against the window. They look kind of squished in on their side, with Kentan hanging partway out of the booth for extra space, but they don''t seem troubled by it at all.

    We order, and while we''re waiting for the food to arrive, Vicca nudges Seiko. ¡°Hey, let''s finish explaining, alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, right.¡± Once again, there''s a tightness to his voice that speaks to his nerves, but it''s hardly a fraction of before. What else is there to explain?

    ¡°I...¡± Seiko thinks, before nodding and starting to pull off his hoodie. He has to fight his way out of it since it''s so big on him, but once he does, my eyes go open wide.

    Beneath the black jacket, he''s wearing gorgeous pink top that looks both classy and extremely feminine. It looks... right, great on him, I remind myself. If he''s crossdressing as a woman, that''s an incredible look.

    But, his chest... He has a small bulge, like breasts. There''s only one way I could think to accomplish that. Is he wearing women''s underwear? I push down the surge of revulsion as soon as it comes up. If this is what he wants- If this is what Seiko wants, I won''t question it. He isn''t just a pervert wearing women''s underwear, he said he wants to be a woman.

    Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    Women wear women''s underwear, so of course he would do something like that, I tell myself. It''s fine. I have no problem with this. None at all.

    I''m grateful when the food arrives before the silence goes on too long. ¡°My, my, haven''t seen you folks before.¡± The words come from the ancient waitress, her stature short and face a mass of wrinkles from her long years of life. ¡°Are you new in town?¡± she asks as she slowly spreads plates of food to everyone, one at a time, with her withered, somewhat shaky hands.

    ¡°Just meeting here. We''re from Ferrvale, and it''s halfway between,¡± I explain.

    ¡°Ahh, ahh,¡± the lady chuckles, ¡°always good to see high school kids who don''t forget about their poor parents.¡± She jabs at Ken with her bony elbow since he''s the closest, before moving toward me. ¡°Nothing like my brats, back in the day, let me tell you!¡± With a small wave, she cackles and leans over to hand Vicca her plate, since she can''t reach all the way over the table.

    Even the kids can''t help grinning at the wacky old lady. She reminds me a little of my own mother, I think. I should give her a call sometime...

    ¡°Gorgeous girl you got there,¡± she grins at me, wagging her eyebrows and tilting her head toward Seiko. ¡°I pity those poor boys in her class, bet they can''t keep their eyes off her, huh?¡± And she throws another jab at Kentan, who blushes unexpectedly at the comment.

    ¡°Y-yeah...¡± Off balance, I chuckle awkwardly. ¡°He''s, you know, a really great kid.¡±

    ¡°Hmm?¡± the woman pauses, eyes moving from me, to Kentan, then to Seiko. That''s when I realize what I just said, and I see the look on Seiko''s face. The pain, and the fear, when he looks back at the waitress. The women''s face tightens with realization, eyes scanning him the same way I did earlier.

    ¡°Ugh!¡± Without another word, the woman drops the last plate of food, Seiko''s, on the edge of the table, spilling half of his eggs onto the floor, and stomps off.

    There''s silence.

    Then Seiko starts crying.

    It draws eyes from everyone else in the diner, but I barely register that, all I can do is stare at my son.

    He completely breaks down, bawling into his hands, his two friends hugging him from either side, rubbing his back for comfort, but he seems utterly inconsolable.

    ¡°S-Seiko...¡± I mumble. I don''t think he even hears me. But I get glares, hostile glares from Kentan and Vicca. They gently usher him up and out of the restaurant.

    I didn''t... I glance to the side, where Jenna is sitting with her head down, not meeting my gaze.

    Then the old waitress returns, a large man in a collared shirt behind her. Every eye in the diner follows them to our table.

    ¡°Ma''am,¡± he addresses me, ¡°this is a decent establishment, we don''t serve your kind. Get out.¡±

    ¡°I...¡± He doesn''t even give me time to try and respond. He grabs me by the arm and yanks me up out of the seat. I go limp on reflex as he drags me to the door and throws me outside. I stumble, almost falling over as my shoes click across the sidewalk. I look back to the entrance. ...Why?

    Then I see Jenna. When the man reaches for her, instead of letting him, she shows all her teeth and hisses at him like some kind of wild animal. That gives him pause, long enough for her to tramp out behind me. But before I can react to that display, she jams her shoulder into me, knocking me aside, her quick tread straight for where the other three are standing.

    But she cuts short at the last moment, just a step away from them. I''m still stunned and speechless when she rounds on me. ¡°Come,¡± she commands. She''s just a seventeen year old girl, but one look at her face has me following behind her. Seiko really found such violent friends...

    We make it down to the end of the block when Jenna stops. She turns on me, eyes burning. ¡°What was that about? Calling Seiko like that? She just told you she''s a girl!¡± It''s a shock, hearing Jenna call him like that. But that''s the point, isn''t it?

    ¡°I don''t- I didn''t-¡± My stammering words won''t straighten out. ¡°It''s just-¡± I wave my hands. How do I explain this? ¡°I- Just- He''s-¡±

    ¡°She.¡± Jenna growls.

    ¡°R-right, sh-she- Seiko said he-¡±

    ¡°She.¡±

    ¡°-sh-she wants to be a girl, but... But... I want to be supportive, but there are so many problems. Look at what just happened!¡± I wave angrily back at the restaurant. ¡°We got kicked out because he''s-¡±

    ¡°She''s.¡±

    ¡°-dressed like a girl! I won''t judge his-¡±

    ¡°Her.¡±

    ¡°-choices, but other people will! They''ll call him-¡±

    ¡°Her.¡±

    ¡°A freak and a pervert!¡± When I finish, Jenna is fuming.

    ¡°I don''t think you get it,¡± she snarls through her teeth. ¡°Seiko. Is. Female. End of story.¡± I blink at her, stupefied. How can she say that with a straight face?

    ¡°But, but... It doesn''t work like that, he has a-¡± Jenna''s eyes narrow with a dangerous snarl in the back of her throat, cutting me short before I say it.

    But then she says it herself. ¡°A penis? And that alone determines who she is? Hmm? Would you accept her if she cut it off?¡±

    ¡°Well, that...¡±

    ¡°Would everything suddenly be fine if Seiko''s body magically changed to female too?¡± Jenna presses on.

    But that- ¡°I mean, mostly, yeah?¡± My mind is lurching, unable to keep up.

    ¡°Seriously? The only thing that matters is her body?¡± Jenna demands. ¡°Let me guess... You think Seiko can''t be a ''real'' woman if she can''t give birth.¡±

    ¡°W-well, yes... As much as he wants something, if it''s not biologically possible...¡±

    ¡°What about you?¡± she suddenly turns it on me.

    ¡°W-what about me?¡±

    ¡°Ten, twenty years from now, you hit menopause and can''t have kids anymore. Are you suddenly no longer a woman?¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    ¡°Do you really think ''woman'' is defined solely by the ability to bear children? What about women infertile from birth defects, disease, or a miscarriage, or god forbid, injuries from being raped?!¡± She''s openly screaming at me now. Other people in the street are staring.

    I have no idea how to respond. I never thought about any of this before. I always thought- men are men and women are women. We''re just born that way, and that''s how we are. Men get big and strong and hairy, women stay small and delicate. Puberty sees to that.

    ¡°B-but, puberty...¡± I argue back when I think of it, ¡°it''s going to change him. He won''t look like a woman. No one will accept him.¡±

    ¡°Forget about them.¡± Then for the first time, Jenna''s tone softens slightly. ¡°No one else matters, just you. You are Seiko''s mother. She needs you to accept her. She needs you to see her for who she is. A girl. That''s all.¡±

    I grit my teeth. I don''t know what to do, how to mesh these conflicting ideas together. I''m supposed to just... toss aside what separates men and women and believe Seiko is female? No one else is going to. His life will be hell.

    ¡°Maka-san, sex and gender aren''t the same thing.¡± Jenna tells me. ¡°Sex is your body, gender is your soul. Did you know they can tell apart the souls of men and women?¡±

    I blink stupidly. ¡°No, but... But doesn''t that prove my point? That there are differences between us you can''t just ignore because you feel like it?¡±

    ¡°The soul isn''t dependent on the body. Sex and gender don''t have to match.¡±

    ¡°O-oh?¡± They don''t? What happens when they don''t match? Is Seiko is like that? A female soul?

    Before I can ask anything like that, Jenna continues. ¡°What I''m saying is, you can''t just dismiss something you don''t understand. When Seiko tells you she''s a girl, you''re supposed to believe her, because she knows herself best. Just because you don''t get it, doesn''t make it any less real.¡±

    I look back down the sidewalk, to where Seiko is still wailing in the arms of his friends. Can I really do that? Can I really change my whole view and see him as something other than the wonderful baby boy I gave birth to? Wouldn''t that be like losing my son?

    My mind goes back to all those years of love and memories... Feeding him, changing his diapers, seeing him walk for the first time. All the way up from a baby, to a child. Picked on and bullied for his name. I put so much care into his name, yet it only ever brought him pain.

    I still remember it so vividly. Those first few minutes, pushing through the drugs and pain and dead-eyed exhaustion.

    The doctor declaring him a healthy baby boy and letting me cradle him in my arms. The name that came to me on sight, Seiko. Like the whole of the universe delivering it directly into my brain. From that moment, there was no other option. At first, the doctor wouldn''t let me choose it, reminding me repeatedly he was a boy, not a girl. But there was no changing my mind. It wasn''t until he looked it up for me and found that against all odds, it was technically a gender neutral name, that he even allowed it.

    It''s funny, thinking back on that now. How I took the name, which by everyone else''s account is a female name, and how the world told me it meant I had to let Seiko be true to himself.

    That''s when it finally clicks.

    ...I was right. Everyone was right. On all counts, huh? Seiko is a girl''s name, isn''t it? And it took sixteen years, but Seiko did finally figure things out. Seiko figured out... that she is a girl.

    Tears come to my eyes, and I have to sit down against the closest building. It was there the whole time, wasn''t it? But I thought- Of course we thought Seiko was a boy, that''s what the doctors told us. Penis means boy, what else were we supposed to go by?

    But the whole time, the entire world was telling me, ''your child is female.'' And I kept pushing her the wrong way anyway. Every time, when anything happened. Oh god, how many times did Albert tell her to ''just man up?'' No wonder why none of his lessons stuck, Seiko didn''t have a damn clue what any of that meant, did she? Of course her words and actions never made sense, all the signals were jumbled, the lines crossed the entire time.

    Slowly, I raise my head, and Jenna is still there, waiting patiently. ¡°Do you get it now?¡± she asks.

    ¡°Yes.¡± I push against the wall to stand again. ¡°Yes, I understand now.¡± I rub the tears from my eyes. ¡°Seiko was a girl right from the start. The world itself told me, but I was too blind to see it.¡±

    ¡°Nn.¡±

    But now that I''ve accepted it... I groan, head in my hands. ¡°But what now? I can see her clearly now, but that doesn''t solve the real problems. She''s going to be hated and called a freak by everyone who doesn''t understand.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Jenna sighs, ¡°but there is at least a solution to some of her problems.¡±

    ¡°What''s that?¡±

    ¡°What Seiko was trying to tell you before that whole fiasco...¡± Here, Jenna hesitates, biting her lip. ¡°No, it''s still Seiko''s place to tell you, not me. Come on.¡± She waves for us to go back.

    Following behind, I say, ¡°Thanks, Jenna-chan. For talking some sense into me.¡±

    ¡°You''re welcome. I knew your heart was in the right place,¡± she shrugs noncommittally, a lot of her earlier energy draining as we draw closer to the others.

    I stop, a couple steps from Seiko as her friends cradle her in their arms, hugging her from both sides while she cries her heart out.

    They glare at me, a long stretch of silence between us mutely convey that I understand now. Only then, do they nudge Seiko to get her attention. Eventually, she looks up between them and they make small gestures to direct her attention to me.

    She turns slowly, and her face is painful to behold. Puffy red eyes, tears everywhere, snot running from her nose, she''s a total mess.

    And it''s all my fault.

    ¡°Seiko, sweetie... I was wrong, I''m sorry,¡± I apologize quietly. ¡°I was confused, and scared, and I couldn''t see what you really meant. But I get it now. You''re not a boy, you never were. You are a beautiful, strong young woman, and I''m so glad you''re my daughter.¡± When I open my arms, Seiko hesitates, like a scared child, afraid of being hurt again. Oh god, I did this to her.

    But her friends give her encouragement, the little push she needs, and she jumps into my arms. I hold her close, rubbing her head and cooing quietly in her ear, and let her cry it all out. I join in, unable to hold my own tears, and so do her friends. The whole time, I thank this world, if it''s listening, for blessing me with such a wonderful child.

    Seiko wails and cries and snots into my shirt until she falls asleep standing up. No longer supporting her own weight, I struggle to hold her up. She''s light, but she''s still an adult size dead weight hanging off of me. I manage long enough for Vicca to come and sweep her up like she weighs nothing. That''s the strength of a soldier for you.

    Not knowing what else to do, we make our way back to the nearby park. Vicca lays Seiko down in a nice grassy spot the shade of the tree, and we all sit around her. There isn''t much to say, it sounds like whatever is left, they''re leaving it to Seiko. So we all sit quietly, letting Seiko sleep. It''s quiet and surprisingly comfortable. We watch the children play and the clouds roll past. She isn''t out for long. With the change in her breathing, we all look toward her.

    Seiko rouses, sitting up. Her shoulders sag with emotional fatigue. We sit for a little longer as she looks around at everyone, smiling at her friends, then shyly at me.

    ¡°So, Seiko, there was one more thing you wanted to tell me? Your friends said you should explain?¡± I hope it isn''t too much more for her, she''s been through so much today already.

    With a weak grin, Seiko nods. ¡°Yeah, there was one more thing.¡± She just lifts her arms to gesture to herself. ¡°I didn''t just figure out I''m a girl. My body changed too. I''m physically a girl also.¡±

    I blink. Why is she acting like that shouldn''t surprise me? What could possibly change Seiko''s entire body? And... just how physically female...?

    All she does is give me a look, silently answering the question I haven''t asked. Still stunned, I turn to Jenna and ask, ¡°Why didn''t you tell me that earlier?¡± It solves a huge number of problems Seiko is likely to face...

    The girl is smiling, but looks guilty too. ¡°Not my place to say, and besides- If you''d only accepted Seiko because her body changed, you know how fucked up that would be, right?¡±

    I think about it and... Yeah. ¡°You have a point.¡± It would mean I think she changed into a girl, and only changed because her body did. Like she was replaced, or turned into a new person. That she wasn''t my daughter all along.

    Thinking that way, I''d be invalidating her entire life up to that point. It would be the death of my ''son'' and the birth of someone different. Jenna''s right, that would be incredibly fucked up. Shaking my head a little, I turn back to my daughter. ¡°I''m guessing it''s a bit of a story?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I''ll... I don''t know, I''ll call or text or something. I''m kind of tired now,¡± she says sheepishly.

    ¡°That''s fine, sweetie.¡± I wrap an arm around her and give her a kiss on the forehead. ¡°Whenever you''re ready.¡±

    ¡°A-and Mom?¡± After earlier, that anxiety that creeps into her voice makes me go still. ¡°Please don''t tell Dad?¡±

    ¡°Huh? Why not?¡± I don''t understand.

    ¡°He''s...¡± Seiko hugs closer to my side, looking down into the grass. ¡°I''ve learned a lot lately, while I''ve been figuring things out and finding myself. Some of the stuff I learned... I just don''t think Dad will react well when he finds out.¡±

    I don''t understand when she doesn''t explain anything. Why would Albert react badly? He always wanted the best for Seiko as a boy, there''s no reason that would change as a girl. After all, he''s always so protective of Laila.

    Could Seiko be worried about that? Like she would be taking Albert''s attention away from Laila? It feels like a stretch...

    ¡°Are you sure, sweetie?¡± I ask again, to make absolutely sure, and she nods. Again, I don''t understand, and it feels wrong to hide something like this from my own husband, but Seiko is serious, she clearly has a good reason. So even when I don''t understand, I''ll trust her.

    ¡°Fine, this will be our little mother-daughter secret, until you feel comfortable telling your father. Should I say anything to Laila?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she shakes her head. ¡°Just... keep it to yourself I guess. I have enough to deal with at school.¡±

    ¡°What''s happening at school?¡± Is there something else she hasn''t brought up?

    ¡°We switched to our summer uniforms,¡± she sighs. ¡°The school doctor got me a couple weeks grace period with a gym and uniform exemption, but once that''s up, there won''t be any hiding the changes to my body, and I''m not about to pretend I''m suddenly in the wrong body... So I''ll be switching over and start attending as a girl.¡±

    ¡°Oh my...¡± I''m reminded again of my laundry list of worries. What people will say, what they''ll think. How they will respond. It won''t be as bad with her body changed like this, but the chances of her classmates simply accepting things seems slim at best.

    ¡°Yeah, like I said, I have enough to deal with.¡±

    ¡°Sure, I understand. Just take your time.¡± No wonder she''s so stressed about Albert, she can''t take any more coming at her all at once.

    ¡°Mm.¡± The heavy talk subsides. We relax and chat for a little while longer, before going our separate ways.

    With Seiko set to start as a female soon, I can probably expect to hear about it through the grapevine. I hope I don''t hear anything too bad...

 Chapter 37

    -Point of View: Seiko Maka-

    I''m a mental and emotional zombie for the rest of the weekend. I do manage to send off a text to Mom with the rest of the story about the psi tremor changing me, and all the stuff with Leona and psi-ops, and my skin condition by Sunday night though. I don''t get much of a response, it seems like she needs some time to process things herself.

    Then Monday rolls around and I start to get a few comments on my clothes by lunch. It sounds like some guys saw me wearing my vest and thought they could too, only to get told off for it. Thankfully, me explaining my medical exemption every period in front of the whole class last week means they all know and rather than the rumors getting really weird or confused, everyone is wondering what sort of medical condition could possibly require me to wear a vest...

    For the most part, I try to ignore it and just chat with my friends. I''m feeling a lot better around Jen after what she did over the weekend. She absolutely saved the day, screaming some sense into Mom. I have no idea what might have happened without her there.

    When our usual gym period comes, it''s time for the physical. Everyone splits up to change as usual, and just like always, I go out into the hall between the two rooms. The bullies are gone, but Leona waits with me anyway, just in case, until Ken has finished changing. Then they swap places, and Leona goes into class C to change herself.

    ¡°Maka-san, we have the physical,¡± comes Folle''s voice all of a sudden, his hand closing on my shoulder from behind. Before I know it, I''m pulling away violently, jumping to gain distance, and Ken is sliding between us, blocking my body with his.

    My breath is shallow and panicked, my head going hazy. I can''t think. I stay behind Ken, my feet ready to give out under me.

    ¡°Uhh?¡± Folle is staring at us, as are the couple other people already out in the hall. His eyes slowly slip down to his hand, which he moves like he''s gripping lightly Probably remembering the feel of my clothes.

    ¡°Sei, are you alright?¡± Ken asks, leaning down closer to me while keeping his eyes on Folle.

    ¡°Y-yeah,¡± I stumble over my own words. With my instantaneous panic abating, I''m aware of what actually happened. ¡°Just... surprised me...¡± All he was doing was getting my attention, but he just had to touch me when he did it...

    Still, I''m all shaken up, so when Leona comes out in her gym clothes, we quickly escape to the infirmary before Folle can recover.

    We make it there before anyone else. The doctor isn''t around though, so we stand for a bit as the rest of our class catches up. Again, Folle approaches, but I see him coming this time. He doesn''t get a chance to say anything before the doctor arrives. She claps her hands and speaks loudly to be heard over the groups still chatting.

    ¡°Alright, form into two lines. Men over here, women over there. Maka-san, you''re fine, you can go.¡± Amid the shuffle of movement, there are a few voices raised, questioning why I''m the only one who doesn''t have to go through it, but the doctor ignores them and keeps directing the students to their places, while I flee the room.

    ¡°Hmm, what now?¡± I wonder. I never really considered what to do after getting excused. Well, I have nothing else to do, so I return to the classroom. I''m not falling over tired yet, so I continue working out to burn as much energy as I can. I''m alone, so pushups and squats are all I can really think of, but I''m so light that it isn''t enough weight to make me strain in the way I know I need to, to burn off the built up psionic energy. Normally, Leona would sit on my back or something.

    To solve the problem, I end up picking up my desk, with all my school books on it, and do my workout with that extra weight.

    It isn''t enough to keep my mind off of my biggest problem though. I''m alone. There''s no one else around right now, but what if someone shows up? What if that person wants to hurt me? I''ve spent every waking minute with Ken or Leona for weeks now, so being alone and defenseless is freaking me out.

    I can always run, I tell myself. I''m good at running, as long as I''m alone, I can just run away. That helps me calm down a lot. I''m grateful when everyone returns together, so I don''t need to worry about them trickling in one at a time. My friends come right over, sitting down and chatting some, while I''m instantly relieved.

    ¡°I made it to a hundred eighty five centimeters,¡± Ken declares proudly.

    ¡°He comes from a family of giants,¡± I add, getting laughs out of everyone. ¡°How tall was Joseph-san again?¡±

    ¡°Damn near two hundred,¡± Ken chuckles with a shake of his head, and the girls understandably gape.

    The chatter continues for a while longer, everyone pointing out different parts of the physical. Of course, in their back and forth banter, Lucy and Amari end up leaking each other''s breast sizes. B-cup and D-cup respectively. It''s not so bad since most of us are girls, except for Ken. Of course, he just puts his hands up in a shrug. He''s been rooming with me all this time, so he doesn''t care about stuff like that, he says quietly.

    The girls seem a tad suspicious of that. Speaking up in his defense, I murmur, ¡°The doctor said I''m still an A-cup, so I hardly count.¡± If my understanding of the measurements is right, I''m a hair off of B-cup at this point, so they''re definitely growing, but being such a late-bloomer is rough for anyone...

    Of course, I get pitying looks and a few whispered, encouraging remarks from the other girls. That is, until Bray Folle comes over and we all break apart, our whispered conversation cut short.

    ¡°Sorry about earlier, Maka-kun,¡± he starts with an apology. ¡°I wasn''t aware you were already excused from the physical. And I didn''t mean to surprise you like that earlier.¡± He bows briefly after.

    ¡°A-ah, yeah, it''s fine. I''m just, uhh-¡± I have no idea what I''m trying to say. ¡°-Not good with stuff like that. And, umm, yeah, the doctor has to keep up on my health, so I didn''t really need the physical today.¡±

    He looks curious, and doesn''t stop himself before asking the question this time. ¡°Has to keep up on your health? What sort of medical condition do you have anyway?¡±

    ¡°U-umm...¡± I freeze. Obviously I can''t tell him. ¡°I... can''t really talk about it. But, umm...¡± Maybe this is a good time...? ¡°You''ll find out in a couple weeks, so as the class rep, I hope you''ll help me out then, if I need it. Thanks for everything.¡± He is always dealing with the background class stuff and paperwork for us, so I may as well give him a little early warning.

    ¡°I''ll find out?¡± That one makes him very obviously curious. ¡°Sure, sounds good.¡± He extends his hand, and I cringe a little. I already know how this will go, but...

    I sigh and shake his hand. As expected, the moment my skin touches his, he jolts and looks down. Since I saw it coming, I just try to relax. I know he''s just surprised. ¡°My skin condition,¡± I offer to explain, letting him take a few moments to come to grips with it. He does surprisingly quickly, giving my hand one last shake before releasing it.

    I leak out a shallow breath. Folle isn''t so bad. So serious and studious, he feels like a pretty upright kind of guy. The kind who might actually respect me. I keep that in mind as we exchange a couple more words, and he returns to his seat.

    It isn''t long until our next lesson begins. Life skills, but... driving. Everyone stares blankly as the teacher reads the textbook at us. None of it makes a single bit of sense. Something about wheels and pedals and shifts? I don''t think the teacher has any idea either. The meaningless lecture continues right until the bell. Then he snaps the textbook closed and walks out. What in the world...?

    After last period comes and goes, the day continues as usual. My daily checkup, then it''s right back to my room for the night. I''m somewhat mortified when I go to take a shower though. Like I figured out the other day, men can apparently smell when I''m aroused. It must be something in my sweat, I guess, made ridiculously more powerful by my skin condition and how I sweat now. And showering feels so good it makes me horny.

    Fucking wonderful.

    Well, there isn''t really anything to do for it. When I get in, I just try to keep it short and keep my mind off of it. It... actually works really well. I''m surprised to find that I don''t get physically worked up at all when I actively don''t want to. If only that worked as a guy...

    Once I''m out of the shower, I glance a few times and spot no response from Ken. Alright, this should work. With the solution to that problem found, I finish out the night in peace.

    <hr>

    The days roll on, one after another, my time ticking down. I have to order an entirely new set of female uniforms, again with a note from the doctor. And I just got the old ones like, a week ago...

    Mom finally gets back to me over the phone on Friday night. We spend a long time just talking everything over. From psi-ops and my current position with them, to the specifics of my skin condition. I cry a bit here and there, but it feels really good to open up to her about everything that''s happened these last few months. I can''t go into every detail since I''m pretty sure some of it is still secret, and some stuff is just too dangerous to say aloud. Like the bit about possibly technically being a psion, and about seeing through psionic auras.

    Those are not to be mentioned again.

    I also leave out the stuff with Jen. That''s... still a whole different issue.

    <hr>

    Saturday morning, Leona comes and reminds me, it''s time to go back to psi-ops. Crap, that''s right. With everything else happening, I''d practically forgotten that was this week.

    So we head off to the city early in the morning like we have been. Only this time, I remember that we''ll be meeting a new psion there. Mejja did say he would bring in someone else for some reason...

    After our usual ride in, we walk to the building, and take the lift down. ¡°Theodore Flarec-san is already waiting,¡± the receptionist informs us, along the way.

    When the lift opens up and we step off, Mejja is over in the back section of his lab as usual. He waves a hand at us, as he bustles around and instead of throwing me straight into the scanner, he takes a minute for introductions this time.

    ¡°Seiko Maka. Theodore Flarec.¡± Mejja gestures between us. Apparently content with that, he immediately continues with whatever he was doing before. I look up at the man, around Ken''s height, but older. Maybe in his late twenties. He has dark blue hair, shorter than Ken''s but with that same weird, spiky look to it. He''s built with big, thick muscles. His appearance is immediately intimidating, and I stay close to Leona''s side.

    ¡°Good to meet you.¡± He extends a hand, but there''s no way I''m comfortable shaking it.

    ¡°Good to meet you too,¡± I respond, but move further behind Leona as I do.

    ¡°Your words don''t match your actions...¡± the man deadpans. That only continues to push me further, peeking out from where it''s safe.

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    ¡°Seiko is sensitive and not great with strangers, don''t worry about it.¡± She shrugs.

    Flarec just sighs. ¡°Fine, let''s just get on with the procedure. All I have to do is run the scanner, right?¡± He directs the question at Mejja. Wait, the scanner is run by a psion? So that''s why Mejja needed to invite someone else? Why not do it himself?

    I don''t get any answers as they wave me toward the scanner and I climb inside. After waiting a bit, it buzzes to life. Only this time, the lighting inside isn''t all purple black light. Instead, it''s a weird, pale orange glow. Everything else is the same though. Same electric buzz, same heavy air pressure, same weird, slow feeling. I''m pretty sure the time-stretching is still in effect...

    That thought becomes more and more certain as I wait, and wait, and wait. I''m glad whatever causes this effect somehow insulates me from boredom...

    I don''t have all too much to think about this time. There''s my upcoming change at school, but there isn''t so much to think about that. It''s going to happen, and I need to deal with the consequences, whatever they wind up being. I just... have to be prepared, I guess.

    So, I wait. It let the buzz flow around me, the heavy air feeling like a weighted blanket as time ticks by. I let my body and mind rest, thoughts blanking out and muscles relaxing into the machine. Nothing but the steady rise and fall of my chest.

    I''m surprised when it... kind of works. I don''t lose consciousness, but my time in the little box goes and goes, no thought or perception getting in the way and allowing the minutes, hours, and days to all fly past. It''s a strange sensation, the way it feels to do something on auto-pilot, only afterward. The action so unworthy of memory you don''t even recall it, your brain just blanks it out as unimportant after the fact.

    So, even after I spend my full month in the box, when the orange glow and buzz begin to subside, the weight lifting from my limbs, it feels like I just blanked out that entire period of time, despite being aware of all of it. A very odd feeling when it stretches over such a length of time. The door opens up and I climb out with a bit of help from Leona.

    I feel kind of hazy from spacing out for such a long period of time. I mumble a confirmation when Leona asks me if I''m alright, shaking myself a little, like I''m sleepy, as we move over toward the conference room.

    Along the way, we step up the little metal stairs and pass the computer station where Mejja usually sits. Just beside it, I see something. A console of some sort? But there''s something there. A color of movement. My glazed eyes slide off. I can''t see it. But it''s there. I stumble a step into the space, turning with the spot until the world is right.

    ¡°Umm... Seiko? You alright?¡± Leona is watching me with concerned eyes. I blink at her.

    With another shake, I go, ¡°S-sorry, yeah. Wow, that was weird. Kind of out of it from so long in the box. I like, tranced out for basically a month, so...¡± I shrug.

    With a faint grimace, she comes forward and rubs my head. ¡°Yeah, that''s rough. Feeling better now?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I think so.¡±

    With a much clearer head, we enter the conference room in the back.

    ¡°Alright, we''ve got your newest scan info, and generally, it''s more of the same,¡± Mejja says at the start. Flarec is off to the side, standing against a wall, but clearly listening too. ¡°Your PEP is still repairing itself at the expected speed. It''s looking like another five to seven months at this rate.¡±

    I nod slightly. ¡°As for the time dilation, how did it go this time?¡± Mejja asks, so I shake my head instead.

    ¡°Still the same, it felt like about a month... I think. I kind of stopped thinking and went into a trance for most of it, but... yeah. Pretty sure it was still a month. Also, I talked with Leona about this- it seems like it affects some aspect of my body, not just my mind. Last time, all of my injuries healed, which should have taken a few more weeks. Is there any way to tell what parts of my body are affected?¡±

    ¡°My, that certainly is unique...¡± Mejja rubs his chin, scratching at his short green facial hair. ¡°I''ve studied the time effects observed by our scanner, but I don''t believe anything I''ve seen would correlate with that.¡± He only shrugs. So, no clue on that one, huh?

    ¡°That''s fine,¡± I sigh. ¡°Is there anything else you''ve found, or is that it this time?¡±

    ¡°Yes, that will be all.¡± He nods, but as he does so, Flarec moves from his spot by the wall.

    ¡°Wait, why did I even come here?¡± he asks, clearly a bit irritated.

    ¡°I was attempting to find a way to avoid the time-slowing effect the scanner produces for Maka-san.¡± Mejja shrugs. ¡°If I could find a way around it, that would serve as a very good clue for why it occurs in the first place. This experiment showed that it is not tied to the psion providing power to the scanner, so I''ll need to think about another method to try next time. It''s a hard problem though, since I don''t really have anywhere else to start. And our scans are each a month apart, so I only have a few more opportunities before his PEP finishes repairing itself.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, ''his?''¡± Flarec quirks an eyebrow at the last part. I can''t help cringing, remembering what happened in the restaurant last week.

    ¡°Oh, Maka-san''s physical body was altered through an unknown psionic effect, he''s actually male.¡± That draws another wince. I haven''t had the time to explain things to Mejja yet, it''s always in and out of psi-ops so fast.

    The blue haired man is crossing his arms, head tilted like he''s considering that, when I speak up to correct Mejja. ¡°A-actually, I figured out I''m female after all.¡±

    Both men turn to stare at me, and I jolt.

    ¡°Really? You want to be a woman?¡± Flarec speaks first, his tone mocking.

    Mejja ignores him. ¡°Is that so? What made you change your mind?¡±

    I also try to ignore the rude remark and just focus on Mejja. ¡°I was always more like a girl and I hated all the guy things everyone told me to do. It drove me crazy. I thought about it a lot and I realized I was lying to myself and trying to live up to my father''s expectations, but it just made me hate myself. So I can say for certain now, being a girl is better for me.¡±

    That''s the best explanation I can give. It takes me some time to get through it, Mejja bobbing his head slightly from partway through as he comes to understand.

    ¡°Mm, a well thought out answer I see,¡± Mejja says. ¡°Then I suppose you do not want us to change your body back once we find the method?¡±

    ¡°U-umm,¡± I stammer slightly when that comes up and Flarec''s eyes narrow at me. ¡°No, it''s way better like this.¡± Mejja is nodding and making a note at his computer when Flarec finally crashes into the conversation again.

    He leans his big hands onto the table, staring me down. ¡°Wait, you''re telling me you dragged me all the way out here just to mess around with this little fruit?¡±

    I don''t know the term, but it clearly isn''t anything good. Can''t this asshole just mind his own business? Still, I keep myself from reacting, reminding myself that he''s from the military and not someone I should piss off.

    ¡°Are you so pathetic you think it''s better to stay as a weak little girl?¡±

    ¡°No-¡±

    Leona steps up at my side, her hand on my shoulder cutting me short. He voice comes raised, but steely calm. ¡°You have no right to speak to Seiko like that.¡±

    ¡°Says the other little girl,¡± he waves her off dismissively. Leona? Little? She''s almost as tall as he is!

    ¡°Really, Flarec-san?¡± Leona just looks annoyed at his bullshit. ¡°Did you forget I''m tier seven?¡±

    ¡°Pshh, wouldn''t stop me from beating the piss out of you!¡± he barks back with a sudden cocky grin, like he''s somehow amused by all this. ¡°Maybe your parents would thank me.¡±

    Leona''s whole expression transforms into a dark scowl. ¡°Shut up, I''m not dealing with your shit. Mejja, if that''s all, we''ll be going now.¡±

    Even Mejja has a sour look. ¡°Yes, get going. And you, buffoon, I''m done with you, get out of my lab.¡±

    We''re already on our way to the lift as he''s speaking. Flarec starts cursing, like he''s a kid throwing a tantrum, as we''re getting on. That guy is in the military? Seriously?

    Unfortunately, just before the huge doors close, a bright orange glow flares out from him, and he practically flies across the lab, boarding the lift with us, just so he can keep berating us.

    ¡°Oh yeah, the mighty Leona Vicca,¡± he sneers, ¡°on protection detail for some little faggot so obsessed with pussy he wants one of his own.¡± I know he''s just an asshole, but that doesn''t stop the tears burning behind my eyes. Or the lump rising in my throat.

    It''s not like that-

    Pressure crashes over the lift, halting my thoughts in an instant. Leona pulls me tight to her side, indigo painting the entire space, spewing from her eyes in all directions.

    ¡°Silence.¡±

    Her command only makes the asshole puff his chest up though, orange power overflowing from him in turn. He cracks his knuckles. ¡°Want to go, bitch?¡± He steps closer, the two psions a hairs breadth from each other, color overlapping and forming a wall between them. It clearly favors Leona, hers easily pushing in around him. She is way stronger than he is. Then the lift doors open, and the receptionist leaps from her seat, diving behind the counter as soon as she sees them.

    There''s a pause. Then, ¡°Seiko, hold on.¡± Leona''s eyes don''t move from Flarec at all as she holds me tight, and I do as she says, squeezing close as hard as I can.

    She doesn''t use her powers. At least, not to teleport. She kicks the ground hard, our bodies rapidly flying out of the lift, across the lobby, and out the entrance. She lands, skidding across the hard stone ground as I spot Flarec making a similar maneuver.

    The orange in his eyes explodes out. I don''t see anything, but the weight on me feels like it triples all at once. I flinch and have to grit my teeth against the feeling, crushing in from all sides. It pushes all the air from my lungs, and I''m gagging, while the whole world feels like it''s moving in slow motion.

    Leona kicks off again, just as a rapid fire series of explosions erupt past us. Like Flarec shot something at us, but missed. The weight recedes significantly as we open up the distance between us, and I can actually breathe again. I''m used to the weight of Leona''s power at least.

    That is, until there''s another massive spike, like hammer blows falling all over my body. I let out a strangled sound at the feeling, then there''s another series of explosions, directly past us in the direction we''re escaping. Leona leaps straight through the dust and spray of rubble, a flash of power scattering the dangerous rocky shrapnel before it can reach me. It only takes a few more instants of pounding adrenaline to realize that she vastly outpaces Flarec. Whatever he was shooting at us, he doesn''t get another shot as we blur across the city, faster than anything around us can respond.

    We go straight past our normal stop, further and further, toward the outskirts of the city. People and places all fly past so fast it''s like they''re frozen in place.

    Finally, Leona has to go into a long, drawn out skid to kill our momentum as we approach a terminal at the edge of town. She''s probably worried about using her powers to slow us, in case something goes wrong again.

    If she wasn''t with me, she could have just teleported out of that entire situation.

    I''m still in shock as she sits me down on a bench and calls a shuttle. ¡°Fuck, attacking us in the middle of the city...¡± she growls. ¡°Even if he was just trying to scare us, what if he''d hit you by accident?¡±

    ¡°Scare us...?¡± I ask flatly.

    ¡°He was shooting around us,¡± she sighs, rubbing her temples. When I still don''t get it she says, ¡°He was missing on purpose. I couldn''t use my powers to evade the attacks. He would have hit us if he was actually trying.¡±

    ¡°Oh...¡± I was a burden on her. She could have gotten really hurt... ¡°But why?¡±

    ¡°Why what?¡± she asks, sitting down next to me.

    I''m having a hard time forming the words through the latent panic. ¡°Why would he attack us? Isn''t that like, like super over the top? All we did was talk some and he didn''t like what we said. So he started like... psionic attacking?! What the fuck?!¡± As soon as I get into it, I boil over.

    ¡°Is he fucking insane? Why escalate things like that? I''m not a psion, he could have killed me!¡± When I start full-tilt freaking out, Leona moves to hug me, but hesitates, her arms outspread, eyes asking for permission.

    I nod frantically and hug her tight. Her hands close around me comfortingly. ¡°That...¡± she starts, with a strange guilt in her voice. ¡°That''s what happens. Have you ever heard the saying, ''when you''re a hammer, everything looks like a nail?''¡±

    It sounds familiar, I think... ¡°What I''m saying is, when all you''re taught is to fight, everyone looks like an enemy. When all problems are solved with force, any conflict immediately escalates to violence. Ugh...¡± Leona shivers, and for once, I rub her back. ¡°I don''t want to go back to that, Seiko.¡±

    It sounds like what Dad always talked about. Everything was harsh, force, violence, and pain. There was no place for anything else. Femininity was weakness. Softness was weakness. Kindness, mercy, vulnerability, understanding, curiosity, openness. All weakness. All stamped out with more violence. And anything you don''t understand was dangerous, anyone different was an enemy and needed to be destroyed.

    Leona... how long did she live like that?

    How did she ever turn out as caring as she is?

    And... what''s wrong with her parents?

    We pass the entire trip back to school hugging each other in comforting silence. Once we disembark, I ask if she wants to talk about anything, but Leona shakes her head and says she needs some time. ¡°However much you need. Thanks, Leona.¡±

 Chapter 38

    The next week goes far too fast. One day after another, with our ordinary classes, our ordinary lives. We start on our self-sufficiency lessons in life skills, and it''s good to get some proper instruction on the basics of cooking and cleaning I''ve mostly been picking up on my own so far.

    I''m... not as surprised as I should be to find most of the guys not paying any attention, and the teacher not giving a single damn about it. The girls meanwhile, mostly do, and get scolded when they slack off or lose focus, told that they''ll never make decent wives if they don''t know this.

    The sexism and double standards are staggering to watch.

    I do get the necessary enrollment paperwork from the doctor and fill it all out, giving it back so she has it on hand for when we go to the school administration.

    I keep sitting out gym, but this is my last week. The gym teacher even starts to hassle me about it; they know how much I''m working out every day, so they know my excuse is bullshit. By Wednesday, I get called to the administrator''s office during last period.

    <hr>

    ¡°You! I did not call you!¡± the bitchy woman, Janice Monasta jabs a finger at Leona as she enters the administration office with me. Leona starts to argue back, but I reluctantly wave her off this time.

    ¡°Just wait outside, I just have to talk to her.¡± I know we had it planned for over the weekend, but now I''m thinking we might want to do it a little sooner so they have time to change all my enrollment information.

    ¡°Alright, I''ll be right outside. Yell, or bang on the door or something if you need me.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± We share a small nod, then Leona leaves.

    I step forward as the silver-haired administrator''s eyes roam, scanning me up and down. I tense, immediately self-conscious under the gaze, like she can see right through me. I become extra aware of the slightly uncomfortable, sweaty feeling across my skin from all the exercise I''ve already done today, mixing with the nervous sweat quickly starting to join it.

    ¡°So, Seiko Maka-san,¡± she begins, already haughty and imperious without Leona around to check her. She slides a form across the desk. ¡°This is the doctor note you turned in for an exception from gym class for ''undisclosed medical reasons.''¡± She throws on the sarcasm and makes patronizing air quotes, because of course she does.

    ¡°It has been brought to my attention by Varn-san,¡± she refers to my gym teacher, ¡°that you have no physical issues which would keep you from participating in class as usual. In fact, once I asked, it became clear that you have been seen doing strenuous physical exercise all day, every day, for weeks now, for reasons no one can explain.¡±

    Here, her hands clench on the top of her desk, her voice dropping lower, more threatening. ¡°I spoke to the doctor who supplied your note, but she refused to tell me anything about your condition either. In fact, she refused to supply any information about you whatsoever. I would have her removed from her position for insubordination, but...¡± she leaves it there. Is she... threatening the doctor''s job? For doing her what she''s supposed to and obeying psi-ops by protecting my medical records?

    ¡°I will not stand for a student making a mockery of this school and corrupting its officials.¡±

    I grit my teeth, but keep myself composed the best I can. ¡°That''s wrong. It''s not the doctor''s fault she can''t tell you anything. She has orders to keep my records confidential.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± That''s when I realize, she already knows that. Doctor Belinda would have said as much herself. But she''s threatening her anyway? How could that be legal? A school administrator firing a medical doctor for obeying the orders of high ranking military officials? There''s no way that would be allowed, would it?

    ¡°Now, out with it. Tell me what is going on, or life here is going to become very unpleasant for you and the people around you.¡± Of course she has to go there... I close my eyes and take a few breaths. Yeah, I knew the time was coming, but I didn''t want it to be like this. With this bitch of an administrator no less...

    ¡°Damn it.¡± I mutter and go back to the door. Monasta makes a surprised scoff at my back, and I have a feeling she thinks I''m about to walk out on her. I open the door, Leona standing just on the other side. She turns halfway around to face me.

    ¡°Hey, Leona, can you go get the doctor? Tell her I think it''s time.¡± My face and tone tell her everything she needs to know. With a nod, her eyes flash, and she''s gone. When I close the door and turn back, the administrator is just standing there, glaring at me. I do my best to withstand it.

    ¡°Just wait a minute,¡± I tell her, crossing my arms over my chest to steel my nerves. She doesn''t respond, and we stay standing in our tense staring match, until there''s a knock on the door a couple long, long minutes later.

    ¡°Come in.¡± The door opens, Leona bringing the doctor inside. Monasta snaps at her to leave again, but the doctor speaks up.

    ¡°I actually need Vicca-san to stay here,¡± she says.

    ¡°Oh?¡± That draws her angry glare onto the doctor.

    ¡°Yes.¡± Doctor Belinda takes a deep breath, steadying herself, and meets my eyes. ¡°Think you''re ready?¡±

    ¡°I don''t think I''ll ever be ready, but there isn''t much choice now, is there?¡± I reply unsteadily even though I''m trying my hardest to keep it together. The glaring administrator looks between us a few times during our exchange, our words lost on her.

    ¡°Fair enough.¡± Returning her attention forward, Doctor Belinda draws an honest to god, official wax-sealed envelope from the pocket of her white medical coat. Monasta''s eyes go wide as saucers.

    Even her tone is stiff and official. ¡°Leona Vicca-san, I''m formally requesting the permission of the Meridan Psionic Operations Division to transfer classified information to Janice Monasta-san.¡± She hands over the letter, and Leona swipes a finger across, breaking the seal. She draws my enrollment papers and a typed note from inside. The doctor showed me some of it as she was working on it, so I have a good idea what it includes already.

    First off is that my sex is female, alongside the results of a DNA test proving that even my sex chromosomes support it. That one was a pretty big surprise, whatever changed me was thorough, all the way down to a molecular level. As such, the included enrollment papers should be used to change me from a male to female student in the school''s records.

    Unless the note went through some drastic rewrites that I''m sure Leona would reject anyway, she made sure to exclude any mention of the cause, or of psionics. That''s all clearly a secret we don''t want an already hostile school administrator knowing.

    Leona nods seriously. ¡°On behalf of the Meridan Psionics Division, I accept your request. Janice Monasta-san, the information herein is for your eyes only. You are required to share it as necessary to manage Seiko Maka''s school enrollment, and no more. This includes informing the school staff, but no one else.¡±

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    The administrator makes a small, unpleasant noise, but Leona ignores her and barrels on through a somewhat familiar spiel. ¡°Beyond that requirement, divulging this information without direct authorization from Psionic Operations or military high command is punishable with imprisonment or mandatory military service for a period no shorter than two years.¡± How many times has she said this to people...?

    ¡°This includes but is not limited to: Seiko Maka''s family, the student body, and any government personnel below clearance level five. You are only cleared to discuss the contained information with Seiko Maka, myself, Aalin Mejja from psi-ops, or any persons with level five clearance and above. Do you understand?¡±

    I''m not surprised to see Monasta''s jaw hang open in the face of Leona''s legal threats. As much as I''ve learned of the horrific downsides of military dictatorships online lately, they''re great at keeping people in line...

    ¡°U-understood,¡± the school administrator eventually chokes out, and Leona hands her the paperwork. Monasta''s eyes only make it through the first couple lines before her head snaps back up, straight at me. ¡°Is this a joke? Maka-san is a man. You can''t just...¡± then she stops, her eyes going to Leona. ¡°It''s you, that''s why psi-ops is involved. He''s like this because of of something psionic related, isn''t he?¡±

    Of course, no one answers. ¡°That has to be it.¡± Then she turns and sneers at me. ¡°How does it feel, Maka-san, being trapped in the body of a little girl?¡±

    I wince a little, but I''m not just going to take her shit. ¡°I am a girl.¡± I declare it, looking her straight in the eye.

    ¡°Hah!¡± she laughs derisively. ¡°I don''t know what you people are expecting, telling me to admit some faggot as a female student-¡±

    ¡°We''re expecting you to do your job,¡± Leona deadpans. ¡°Otherwise, we''ll gladly direct our inquiries to your higher ups. I''m sure they''ll love to hear from psi-ops.¡±

    That knocks the smile off her face. ¡°I can''t just change his records like this,¡± Monasta argues anyway. ¡°His records say he''s male, a doctor''s note isn''t remotely sufficient to overrule that.¡±

    ¡°Yes it is,¡± Leona rolls her eyes. We already looked this up and made sure we have everything set, that we''re following all the rules and regulations to the letter. ¡°Fine, then I''ll make it an order. Janice Monasta-san, as a member of psi-ops, I order you to do your damn job and update Seiko Maka''s school records as directed by Seiko''s doctor.¡±

    ¡°You don''t have the authority to order me!¡± the administrator snarls. ¡°Inside these walls, you''re just another student!¡±

    ¡°Want me to call Aalin Mejja again?¡± Leona starts to raise her voice. Monasta cringes, finally backing down at the threats.

    ¡°That... is not necessary...¡± There''s so much rage in her eyes as she glares at me, but she''s holding her tongue.

    ¡°Good.¡± Leona glowers at her, and it''s up to the doctor to step in.

    ¡°As it states in the paperwork there, we originally meant to begin this process on Friday. You have until Sunday to put through all the necessary enrollment and records changes. The staff will need to be informed and Seiko Maka-san is to be reintroduced into her classes next Monday. As for dorm assignments, she will need to be moved to the female dorm.¡±

    ¡°I can''t put him in the women''s dorm!¡± Monasta exclaims.

    Doctor Belinda gives her a look. ¡°You would have her,¡± and she gestures a hand at me, smaller than even the other girls, ¡°in a dorm surrounded by men?¡±

    ¡°Yes! No matter what he looks like, he''s still a man. I can''t allow a man to intrude in a space that''s meant for women.¡±

    ¡°As we''ve said,¡± the doctor says through her teeth, a hand rubbing her temple, ¡°Maka-chan is a woman. Mentally, scientifically, biologically, and empirically. There are no grounds for your argument.¡±

    ¡°Yeah right,¡± she flips her silver hair and rolls her eyes. ¡°Keep trying to say that after he assaults some defenseless woman.¡±

    The doctor''s mouth falls open. ¡°A-are you joking? Maka-chan is the one who''s been assaulted! By your own daughter!¡±

    ¡°Do not bring Lacey into this!¡± Monasta slams her hands on her desk, making me jump. ¡°Not after that monster attacked her! She was hospitalized for a month!¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Leona grunts.

    ¡°Not my point!¡± the doctor goes right over her. ¡°Maka-chan is not and has never been dangerous. She has been bullied and attacked since a young age for being who she is. She''s always been a victim, never an assailant, and nothing she has said or done has ever given any indication that will change.¡±

    ¡°Like I give a damn about that!¡± Monasta shouts.

    ¡°Then what is it?!¡± the doctor finally shouts back, totally exasperated at this point.

    ¡°Maka-san is male, nothing will change that!¡± There''s a moment of stunned silence.

    When the doctor speaks again, it''s clear she doesn''t care anymore. ¡°Fine, whatever. Your opinion doesn''t matter. You will do your job, or you''ll be receiving some very unpleasant calls from your superiors. Do as you are ordered, that is all. Come on, kids.¡± She waves for us to go, and we walk right out on the still dumbfounded administrator.

    ¡°Maka-chan,¡± she calls me as we head away from the office, ¡°I have serious doubts about this, I''m not going to let her screw things up. Come early on Monday so I can take you to the staff room and reintroduce you to the staff. I''ll help with your homeroom introduction too. Do you have your new uniforms ready?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Thanks a lot, Doctor.¡±

    ¡°Very good. You''re welcome.¡± She ruffles my hair a little, asking, ¡°Are you coming back to the infirmary?¡±

    ¡°Not right away, I still have to work out a little more. I want to do everything I can to burn my energy down, especially with everything coming up.¡± If only I''d been able to do it faster, but I know at the rate I''m going, I won''t make it in time. That doesn''t mean I can slack off though.

    ¡°Sure, see you in a bit.¡±

    Once she splits off, Leona leans down and asks, ¡°Are you doing alright, Seiko?¡±

    ¡°I...¡± I want to say it''s alright, but I''m really shaken up after all of that. Even with DNA test results in her hand, she simply refused to listen to anything we said. How could a person just... ignore every shred of evidence before them like that? It doesn''t make any sense...

    ¡°I don''t know,¡± I shake my head. ¡°I just want to run for a bit, alright?¡±

    ¡°Sure, whatever you want.¡± She climbs up on my back like usual. I''ve gotten a lot stronger, better able to hold her extra weight. It''s still a strain, but not as much as it used to be. I should ask her to start carrying extra weights if I really want to be efficient burning energy off...

    For now though, I set off running, circling the school building. The exertion helps take my mind off things a bit, but my stomach still feels all twisted into knots. The run isn''t all that long, I aim to arrive back at the infirmary when I''m pretty tired, panting and sweating, but otherwise alright. When I set Leona down, she praises me again, but I can tell she''s thinking the same thing I was. With a few words, we agree that we need to add more weight for future runs.

    ¡°Still, your strength is pretty incredible, Seiko,¡± she continues to praise me as we walk into the infirmary. As always, I can only offer a forced smile. It feels weird when she praises me for my minuscule strength. Sure, I''m a lot better than when I was first weakened, but it''s still just a tiny fraction of my usual strength. I haven''t been struggling against Leona lately since her ribs took a while to heal and she was trying not to push herself too hard, but I still can''t hold a candle to her as I am now.

    It''s just weird, being praised as strong when I''m so clearly not. I still have an uncomfortable, nervous feeling in my gut through Leona''s daily check, which only gets worse on our return to the dorms, with the knowledge that we''ve told the school administration. Even if it was a few days early and nothing will really happen immediately, the ball is rolling and there''s no stopping it.

    Once my class knows, word will spread like wildfire through the whole school. Eventually, it will make it back to my parents. Mom''s on my side, so she might keep things under control back home, but sooner or later, Dad will find out too. I could have weeks or months, but it will happen at some point.

    I don''t know how I''ll deal with that, but I have much more immediate concerns. Mainly my teachers and classmates. And the dorms. What the hell am I going to do about my room assignment? Who will I be with? Even being a girl and everything, I''d still feel incredibly uncomfortable if I end up rooming with someone like that awful woman - someone who refuses to accept me despite everything.

    Best case scenario would be sharing a room with Leona like we put in my enrollment change paperwork. She said she doesn''t have a roommate so it would make sense, but there''s no way that bitch would actually do something helpful for me. I guess we''ll just have to see...

 Chapter 39

    I spend all Thursday worrying. The stress is getting to me, and I keep having these panicked feelings whenever the teachers look at me. She didn''t already tell them, did she? They aren''t going to suddenly blow it all before next week, are they?

    I can hardly eat, and whether it''s the hunger or stress, continuing to work out starts making the muscles around my stomach stab with pain. My nightly shower doesn''t help, it actually feels more unpleasant than anything and I end up stumbling back out into our room. I can''t really sleep either, so I''m tired and feel like shit, and I can''t stop sweating. I think I''m starting to lose it by Friday morning homeroom.

    It''s just one more day. Just one day... I can just relax over the weekend.

    The first couple classes come and go, but I don''t know if I''m going to make it. My head is starting to pound and my insides are all wrapped into painful knots. We''re in physics, and I''m starting to get slightly lightheaded from the stress and pain.

    The teacher is talking about some equation, but it''s getting harder and harder to focus on the class.

    ¡°Ah-ah...¡± I twitch and cringe when I inhale a bit of dust in the air. ¡°Achoo!¡± All at once, it hits me.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

    I shoot straight to my feet, my chair clattering to the floor and drawing everyone''s attention with a snap.

    ¡°Maka-san?¡± the teacher is asking, but I hardly notice. I''m staring at Leona, huge eyes pleading for help.

    ¡°I-i-in-f-fir-m-mar-r-r-yyy.¡± The word barely comes out through my chattering teeth. I''m shaking uncontrollably. We ignore the complaints of the teacher and the eyes of the students as Leona escorts me rapidly out of the classroom. I think we make it to the infirmary in record time.

    ¡°Maka-chan?¡± the doctor questions when I come in the door, shaking like a leaf. ¡°What''s wrong?¡± She''s already on her feet, coming toward us.

    ¡°I- I- I''m...¡± I flail my hands, totally frantic. Hyperventilating. ¡°It''s- I''m- the-¡±

    ¡°Alright, calm down, deep breaths,¡± she takes my hands to stop me from flailing. We lock eyes and she takes big deep breaths so I''ll mimic her. Once my breathing is more under control, she tries again. ¡°Now, what''s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I''m- I''m bleeding, it''s... m-my period.¡± I manage to get the words out through my barely contained panic. I''ve heard about this, but I have no fucking idea what to do!

    She blinks a few times, ¡°Oh.¡± Then she smiles warmly. ¡°I see, congratulations.¡± Huh? ¡°Come on, I''ll show you what to do. She pulls me toward the back of the infirmary while speaking to Leona. ¡°Vicca-san, could you get Maka-chan a change of underwear? Pants too?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± While she leaves, the doctor brings me into a small wash room connected to the back corner of the infirmary. Besides the sink and toilet, there are some cabinets inside. She sits me on the toilet and pulls some gloves from the cabinet, putting them on with a plastic snap. Then she pulls a few different things from inside and returns to me.

    ¡°Take off your pants and underwear, I''ll show you what to do.¡± I nod shakily, while she fills a plastic cup with water from the sink.

    As soon as I get my pants off though, I''m staring down, trembling. I pull down my panties, and gulp, my insides all twisting up even worse than they already are. There''s blood everywhere...

    ¡°Maka-chan.¡± The doctor''s voice pulls me back. ¡°The first thing to do is clean yourself. Lukewarm or warm water. Soap isn''t necessary at all, but if you really want to, use a little plain soap, never anything scented.¡±

    She offers me the cup of water, and makes a simple gesture to get to it, so I do. I pour some on my hand and thighs and start wiping and washing the blood off with my hand. She has to refill the cup a few times, and I use some toilet paper to help.

    ¡°Now, only wash your vulva, not the inside of your vagina, it cleans itself and you don''t want to disturb it. Make sure to go front to back when washing, just like when you wipe.¡± She pauses. ¡°You do wipe front to back, right?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah,¡± I stammer a little. ¡°But, umm...¡±

    ¡°Hm? What is it?¡±

    ¡°I''m... not sure which part that is...¡± I vaguely remember us covering basic anatomy at some point during middle school, but it''s not like I was paying much attention back then, I didn''t even have those body parts at the time! I really should have researched all of this on my own. A little late to realize that now though...

    ¡°Ah, that''s understandable...¡± The doctor sighs. ¡°Let''s see...¡± She has to go back into the infirmary to retrieve a hand mirror, then she has me hold it so I can see down there, and I''m practically having flashbacks to Jen teaching me the same way.

    The doctor indicates as best she can with everything covered in blood, naming and giving a brief descriptions of the parts I need to know. It''s not much, but it''s enough to follow her instructions on how to clean myself. I can look up the rest on my own.

    ¡°Yes, like that, front to back, and be gentle, that''s a very sensitive region, especially your clitoris.¡± She isn''t kidding, I cringe when I''m wiping the blood off of the little spot. Not a pleasant feeling...

    As freaked out as I am and as important as this is to learn, it''s still absurdly embarrassing. My cheeks are burning hot, but I ignore it. I''m literally bleeding all over myself- this is way more important.

    I do as she instructs, washing away the blood until my skin is clean, then dry myself with a little more toilet paper. I still feel weird down there, so I know I''m still bleeding...

    ¡°Wait here, Vicca-san should be back any minute now.¡± She goes back into the infirmary, and I sit for a bit, letting myself breathe and calm down properly now that my body doesn''t look like a TV crime scene.

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    I''m going to keep bleeding like this, I realize. It''s just hitting me now, despite how obvious it should have been the whole time. I''m a girl. My body is one hundred percent female, anatomy and everything. I''m going to have periods every month, aren''t I? But for my first to be right now...

    I sit there, and suddenly I''m crying. It''s not that I''m sad about getting my period, I''m just... crying a little. I''m still like that a minute later when the doctor returns with Leona.

    ¡°Seiko, what''s wrong?¡± she asks immediately.

    ¡°I don''t know, I just...¡± I shrug, sniffling slightly, a few tears still on my face.

    ¡°She''s probably just overwhelmed,¡± the doctor guesses. ¡°Try to remember your first period, Vicca-san.¡± Leona visibly grimaces. Was hers bad too? ¡°Maka-chan also spent most of her life in a male body.¡± She''s clearly referencing how I didn''t even know all the parts down there, ¡°So this is all completely new to her, and with everything going on...¡±

    I nod a little, and the doctor offers a soft smile. ¡°Don''t worry, we all go through it. Once you know what you''re doing, it''s not much more than a painful monthly annoyance. The joys of womanhood, right?¡± she jokes to Leona, who finally cracks a little grin. Right, they''ve both been going through this for years already...

    ¡°Now that you''re clean...¡± the doctor rolls with the good momentum. ¡°When it comes to periods, you have a couple options...¡± She takes some time, teaching me about different women''s hygiene products. I''m kind of intimidated by tampons because they''re supposed to go inside me, so I decide on pads instead. She shows me how to stick one to the inside of my fresh underwear, then I slide them on.

    As soon as I pull them all the way up, I wince. It feels strange against my labia. Like weird, scratchy plastic or something. It''s not as bad as my old clothes or those cheap cotton panties I tried, but it''s definitely not comfortable. ¡°Is that alright?¡± the doctor asks.

    ¡°It''s kind of uncomfortable,¡± I admit. ¡°Probably because I''m so sensitive.¡±

    ¡°Would you rather switch to tampons?¡±

    ¡°W-well... no, I''ll keep trying this for now...¡± I catch Leona frowning at my answer. When I send her a questioning look, she speaks.

    ¡°I''d also recommend tampons, pads aren''t good when you''re so active. Sweating into them when they''re already full of blood... it''s a really bad combination.¡± Just the thought makes me grimace. Then I think, if sweaty clothes irritate my skin normally, what would a sweaty pad feel like down there?

    ¡°I''ll... try the tampons...¡±

    What follows is not pleasant. The doctor shows me how to unwrap them from their little plastic wrappers, and has me spread my legs. She hands me the tampon and I ever so carefully try to follow her directions, pushing it into place by feel. I... get it done, but it sucks. A lot.

    The upside is, I actually can''t feel it much once it''s up inside me. I wiggle around some, but the feeling is mostly gone.

    When I pull the pad out of my underwear, the doctor uses the opportunity to show me how I''m supposed to wrap them in toilet paper, then throw them in the garbage. She insists I''m not supposed to flush them, but...

    ¡°Umm, the men''s toilet doesn''t have garbage cans like this, do the women''s?¡±

    With a hand to her head, the doctor groans. ¡°Alright. Like I said, you need to change tampons every few hours. Come back and change it at lunch, then after school. Over the weekend, use your own wash room in your dorm, or women''s rooms if you go off-campus, alright? And always carry some tampons on you in your bag from now on. You''ll need them, because it takes a few years for your period to become regular.¡±

    I''m nodding stiffly. It coming on suddenly, when I''m totally unprepared is scary... When I ask if there''s any way to tell beforehand, she answers, ¡°Sometimes you can tell from your body. There are all sorts of different symptoms, by far the most common are abdominal cramps, it has to do with your uterus shedding its lining. You should have learned about it in sex-ed at some point. Mood swings and irritability are also pretty common.¡±

    ¡°Wait, these are from my period?¡± I ask, pressing a hand to my belly. I thought it was just way too much stress...

    ¡°You have cramps right now?¡± she asks in response to my motioning, and I nod. ¡°You should have mentioned that. If they''re bad, I can get you some medication.¡±

    ¡°No, I don''t think they''re that bad, just unpleasant. I do kind of have a headache though.¡±

    ¡°Ahh, I see. You are very active and exercise can help, so that''s understandable. A headache though... anything else?¡±

    ¡°Umm... mostly just a lot of stress stuff, but that''s... you know. Like, not eating or sleeping much.¡±

    With a few nods, she confirms. ¡°Yup, I''ve heard of all of that before. Though the food and sleep are probably contributing to the headache too. Even if you don''t feel great, you have to make sure to take care of yourself during your period. Try to get enough food, water and sleep, even if you don''t feel like it or you aren''t in the mood, alright?¡±

    I nod, of course I know she''s right. It''s just... hard. ¡°Alright, I''ll get you some pain medication, it should help with the cramps and headache.¡± When she leaves the room, I meet Leona''s eyes. I feel like she has something to say.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    She opens her mouth, considering it. But I can tell that what she says isn''t it. ¡°Good job, Seiko. You really held it together.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± I blink stupidly. ¡°I was totally panicking though.¡±

    ¡°Only panicking that much when blood suddenly starts pouring out of your body?¡± She grins, and the way she says it makes me giggle a little.

    ¡°How was it for you, your first time?¡±

    Suddenly, Leona laughs out loud, before clapping a hand over her mouth. ¡°Bad.¡± She only speaks briefly, a huge grin on her face before replacing her hand. The look doesn''t reach her eyes at all. Leona shakes her head. ¡°You can''t even imagine.¡± She keeps shaking like she''s laughing. ¡°I don''t even want to think about it. It was a nightmare.¡± Her reaction... is this ''laughing to keep from crying?''

    Without any prompting, I hug her. ¡°Don''t worry, it''s in the past.¡±

    Leona finally lets out a long, sighing breath. ¡°Yeah.¡± Then the door opens again, the doctor raising a brow at me, hugging Leona while she''s just kind of standing there.

    Apparently deciding to ignore it, she shoos me to the sink, telling me to always wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water after replacing my tampons. Once I''m done, she gives me a couple pills to relieve my cramps and headache, though she reminds me not to rely on them too much. I''ll build up a tolerance, so I should focus on doing whatever I can to relieve my cramps without medication, like using a hot pack on my stomach or back, apparently. I make a mental note to look up other methods later.

    ¡°Food, water, and sleep,¡± Doctor Belinda reminds me pointedly, again, as I take the pills with some water. ¡°They will help with everything else in life, period cramps or no.¡± She''s not wrong, even I know that taking care of my body makes everything better. Maybe I''ll focus on that over the weekend, just keeping myself happy and healthy to get through the stress and my period. Apparently it can last up to a week...

    With that worry nagging in the back of my mind, I take the black plastic bag she hands me, roll up my bloody clothes as she instructs, then seal them inside - to deal with any bacteria and odors, she says. I''ll have to wash them after school. Cold water to get bloodstains out, apparently...

    Leona pockets a few tampons, since it would be an issue if anyone found them on me somehow. With one last, big thanks to the doctor, we head back to class.

 Chapter 40

    When we arrive back at our classroom, our physics class is already wrapping up.

    ¡°So good of you two to join us again,¡± the teacher snarks at us, glaring.

    ¡°Sorry, Seiko had a... medical emergency,¡± Leona explains, with just a hint of hesitation.

    ¡°Oh really?¡± he plants his hands on his hips. Shit, I should have gotten a note or something, I wasn''t thinking... ¡°What sort of ''medical emergency?''¡± His eyes slide from me as I''m grimacing, to Leona, and I can practically hear his thoughts through his expression. Does he think we were doing something sexual?

    ¡°U-umm, that is...¡± But there''s literally nothing I can say here.

    ¡°That is confidential, for now,¡± Leona comes to the rescue. ¡°The school administration should inform you over the weekend.¡± That gets a raised brow from the teacher, not to mention a number of murmurs from the students. ¡°Should. If Janice Monasta-san decides to do her job properly this time.¡±

    That seems to satisfy the teacher, knowing that there''s definitely something and he''s going to find out soon. Not to mention her ire at the school administrator drawing into question what in the world it could be. He lets us return to our seats without further questions, and is just beginning to open his mouth, either to say something, or continue the lecture maybe, when the bell rings to end class.

    He gives a vaguely annoyed gesture before leaving. Everyone relaxes with the start of our break. Gon passes by on his way out of the room ¨C I still haven''t gotten to asking if he wants to sit with us. His eyes turn to me as he passes though, narrowing just a bit, but he goes without comment. What was that? When I move back one desk into his empty seat, I find out.

    ¡°Uhh, Sei?¡± Ken calls uncertainly.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°You, uhh...¡± he leans forward, sniffing slightly. Then his voice lowers, so only I can hear. ¡°You kind of smell.¡± My cringe is instantaneous. They can''t smell the blood on me, can they? The doctor didn''t mention anything like that. Besides, I washed myself well, and I''m in a fresh set of clothes...

    ¡°W-what do I smell like...?¡±

    ¡°Well, kind of just like sweaty? It''s not that strong or anything, but it''s not the best smell, I guess.¡± So I don''t smell like blood? But why would he smell my sweat now? It''s usually odorless, does it smell different on my period?

    I turn a look to everyone else, and with an embarrassed whisper, they lean in too. They try not to be too obvious, sniffing around me briefly. Leona and Amari just shrug, but Lucy makes a kind of ''so-so'' hand gesture. It''s around then that Jen, Runa, and Finn arrive from across the hall.

    ¡°What''s going on?¡± Runa speaks up first, since it''s clear that something''s up with everyone leaned into a close huddle.

    ¡°Well...¡± Ken gestures to me, which has Runa move a little closer, like she''s looking me over to see what he''s referring to.

    Then she cringes, her hand covering to her wrinkled nose. ¡°Seiko-san, you, umm...¡± she doesn''t need to say the rest. Jen and Finn follow of course, with no response from Jen, and a vaguely unpleasant look from Finn.

    I don''t get it, only some people think I smell? Is this anything like how guys react to my smell when I''m aroused? Because my sweat''s weird now? But in this case, it isn''t just guys, it seems to affect people at random. Some chemical only certain people can detect maybe?

    Whatever the case, the only thing that correlates to this change in smell is my period, so of course I''m going to assume that''s the cause, but who knows...

    When they all come close, expressions like they think I''m about to explain, I flush a little more. ¡°Well, umm... It has to do with leaving earlier.¡± I only make eye contact with the other girls, then press a hand to my stomach and say, ¡°If you think about it, you can probably guess.¡± I don''t know if that''s enough of a hint, but after some thought, I see the light bulbs all lighting up.

    ¡°Oh. That''s... different. No one''s ever told me I...¡± Lucy scratches her cheek, ¡°...smell different...¡±

    ¡°I''m pretty sure it has to do with my skin condition, I''ve noticed one other thing related to my smell that I think ties back to it.¡±

    ¡°What''s that?¡± she asks curiously, but I just shake my head since I clearly can''t discuss it here.

    ¡°What are you guys talking about, I''m kind of lost...¡± Finn speaks up, head tilted in confusion.

    ¡°Don''t worry about it, you wouldn''t get it,¡± Lucy easily waves him off.

    ¡°I don''t either...?¡± Ken comments, before shrugging. He must be assuming it''s a girl thing, so he''s letting it go.

    Moving past that, we settle into our usual routine. I''m actually kind of thankful that my period dragged me out of my stress spiral. Even with the cramps and the dull throb of the headache behind my eyes, it got my mind off of everything for a little bit.

    Despite my new pains, there''s no time to rest. I keep working out, lifting Leona on my back while I do squats and push ups until our next teacher arrives. I can''t tell if all the hard exercise is making my cramps better or worse...

    What it does do is make me sweat all over, spreading my vaguely unpleasant scent across a good deal of our classroom. Thankfully, besides wrinkling their noses for a few moments, the guys ignore it. The girls have similar responses, but even more subdued. Maybe just a snuffle and a shake of their head before they ignore it.

    Why are only some girls more perceptive? Do they have stronger noses? But then why do basically all the guys pick up on it? Do men have a better sense of smell than women? Is that a thing?

    I''m glad that I have this new thing to wonder about. It''s infinitely better than questioning my entire future at this school. Classes and breaks pass just like usual after that, even though my mood fluctuates weirdly.

    Sometimes I feel like normal, but other times, I just feel like absolute shit in the middle of the lessons, for no reason at all. Are these the mood swings the doctor mentioned? I mostly try to push through them and focus on class rather than myself to keep my mind off how I feel.

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    I return to the infirmary during lunch to change my tampon, as instructed. I sit in the infirmary wash room, trying to relax like she told me, gently tugging on the string attached to the thing to get it out. It''s still really unpleasant and makes me cringe as it comes out.

    Then, I''m immediately creeped out when I see at the swollen, blood red thing in my hands. Trying not to look at it too much, I wrap it in toilet paper like she told me to, and drop it into the garbage can. I''m not that squeamish, but still, blood...

    Maybe I''ll get used to it eventually, but it makes me shiver a little, seeing it like that for the first time. After struggling to put in another one, I wash my hands and sigh. I wonder if I''ll ever get used to that part.

    Being a girl can be hard...

    As soon as I get back, I make myself eat a full lunch, even though my body is telling me it doesn''t want anything. All I get for it at first is an upset stomach and more abdominal pain. That makes my mood plummet, but I keep telling myself it''ll help later.

    Later, later...

    When we get to gym class, I sit out again. The class breaks up, boys playing basketball in one part of the gym, girls stretching and doing gymnastics in the other. I sit on the bench watching, trying to ignore the random stabbing pains that have come back since those pain meds wore off a little while ago. Looking up methods to relieve cramps has rapidly climbed to the very top of my list of things to do after school today.

    I''m a little surprised when a girl joins me on the bench. But it only takes one look ¨C that pained, unpleasant expression ¨C she''s on her period too, isn''t she? The doctor said cycles average twenty eight days, with like five-ish of those being on your period, so that''s what...? I pull out my mobile and tap out the math. Almost twenty percent, ugh... Compared to the thirty-ish girls between our two classes, that''s about five girls, likely to be on their periods on any given day.

    Realizing that, it''s a big surprise. I hardly ever see more than a girl or two sitting gym out any given day. Does that mean they usually just ignore it? Maybe it''s not so bad once they figure out how to manage their pain...

    ¡°Hey, I''m not letting you sit out so you can play on your mobile,¡± the gym teacher suddenly barks at me, stomping over angrily.

    God, I''m so not in the mood for this... ¡°I''m not playing,¡± I respond flatly.

    ¡°Then what are you doing?¡± he challenges.

    ¡°Math.¡± I turn to show him my calculator app. Then I sigh and pocket the thing. Between that and me actually looking like utter shit today, he thankfully backs off, and returns to yelling at the guys about whatever.

    My eyes slowly drift back over to the girl''s side of the gym. They never have guys do gymnastics because it''s considered too girly. I wonder how I would do...? I''d probably suck... Suddenly, a girl''s voice comes from my side, the other girl sitting out, on the bench a short distance away. I don''t recognize her, I think she''s from class D.

    ¡°So, math?¡±

    ¡°...Yeah?¡± I don''t get it.

    She frowns. ¡°Wait, don''t tell me you were actually doing math.¡±

    ¡°...Yeah?¡±

    The girl practically snorts, her orange-red hair swishing around her shoulders as she shakes her head. ¡°What were you doing math for?¡±

    ¡°Uhh...¡± It would definitely sound weird if I told her, wouldn''t it?

    Her eyes narrow. ¡°Don''t tell me, was it something pervy?¡±

    Why would it be...? ¡°Uhh, no.¡± I really don''t feel like dealing with this conversation, but she seems a lot more energetic than earlier. Maybe she''s doing this to keep her mind off her own problems.

    ¡°Then what is it?¡±

    I frown at the floor. ¡°It''s not weird, but you would think it''s weird.¡±

    ¡°That doesn''t make any sense,¡± she points out the obvious.

    I can only shrug. ¡°It would make sense later.¡± Everything would make sense to them later if they thought about it, I realize, with a long, tired sigh.

    ¡°You know, you really look like shit,¡± the girl quips.

    ¡°So do you,¡± I snap back, really getting sick of this whole conversation. It''s only a moment after that I realize my mood is getting to me.

    She rolls her eyes. ¡°Uncontrollable bleeding will do that,¡± she growls back.

    ¡°Nn,¡± I agree with a nod.

    That gives her pause. Then she glares at me. ¡°Ugh, guys. You''re so dense, you know.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± What''s she even talking about? I''m literally not even a guy, what she''s saying doesn''t make any sense.

    ¡°What do you think I mean when I say uncontrollable bleeding?¡± she snaps at me.

    ¡°Your period,¡± I deadpan back. What else could she possibly mean?

    Her eyes go wide, mouth open. She chokes out a sound or two like that before recovering enough to flush bright red. ¡°Asshole!¡± she''s practically growling at me as she curses, keeping her voice low to avoid notice from the teachers.

    ¡°Ugh...¡± I groan. I know she''s just being bitchy because she feels like shit, but come on... ¡°What? I get it, you''re on your period, you feel like shit. You don''t have to take it out on me you know.¡±

    God, I have no right to talk, we''re literally in the same bloody fucking boat...

    ¡°Well what''s your excuse?¡± she demands.

    I can''t help letting a laugh slip out. I cover my mouth, until the laughter just makes my stomach stab at me even worse than before. Bending over forward, I groan and hug my arms around my stomach.

    Apparently, that finally gets through to her. ¡°Hey, uhh, are you alright?¡± she asks uncertainly.

    ¡°I feel like shit.¡± I turn to look up at her. ¡°Sorry for taking it out on you.¡± My response makes her face screw up. Like she subconsciously gets my meaning, but it just leads to utter confusion right now.

    ¡°A-anyway...¡± she trails off, wincing and rubbing her stomach, before going on, ¡°most guys get all weird and uncomfortable about periods, don''t even want to recognize they exist.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± I''m surprised, no one ever mentioned that.

    Oh, duh, of course they didn''t, that''s essentially what she just said.

    ¡°Well duh, what''s up with you, weirdo?¡±

    My eye twitches. ¡°Seiko Maka.¡±

    She rolls hers back, but she clearly gets my point. ¡°Lola Freeman.¡±

    Getting back to her question, I shrug. God, I''m so tired of hiding. Some part of me is screaming that Monday can''t come soon enough. ¡°Screw it,¡± I groan, totally not in the mood for this conversation anymore. ¡°You want to know what I what I was doing earlier? Figuring out that on average, three other girls are on their periods right now.¡±

    ¡°The... the fuck? Are you some kind of pervert?¡± she slides a little further away.

    ¡°Yeah, sure, let''s go with that,¡± I wave a hand dismissively. ¡°If it means you''ll leave me to my misery in peace.¡± I fold over forward, pressing my head to my knees. The position feels just a tiny bit better for my throbbing stomach. Why did I have to eat all that food earlier...?

    Freeman makes a few questioning sounds after that, but seems to get the message and doesn''t bother me again. When gym finally ends, we all slog through our last class. We''ve more or less made it through the bare basics of cooking, not that the guys bothered learning any of it.

 Chapter 41

    When school ends and we make it to the infirmary, I flop down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and waiting for Leona to get ready. ¡°That bad?¡± the doctor asks from off to the side.

    ¡°Yeah, it wasn''t that bad earlier, it''s definitely getting worse. Have to figure out how to deal with it,¡± I mumble at the ceiling. I can''t get back to my dorm soon enough. When Leona climbs up on the bed and presses her hands down, I let out a low, delighted ''mmmm'' in response. God that pressure feels wonderful on my belly...

    For the few moments that she gives me sweet relief, I feel like I''m going to melt into the bed. She leans down, filling my world with glowing power, and draws away. After a few more moments of crazy, universal clarity, it''s back to just me and my cramps. Still, they actually don''t hurt quite as much, maybe pressure and massage would be a good thing to try...

    As soon as Leona''s done, I fight through changing my tampon again. How many more days of this do I have...?

    We stop at the school store so Leona can buy a box of tampons which I then covertly stash in my school bag. We trudge back to the dorms, and as soon as I''m in my room, I pull out my mobile and start searching. My shower can wait a few minutes. Ken gives me a little side eye when I sit on the floor to avoid getting bed dirty with my nasty clothes. ¡°You alright, Sei?¡± he asks.

    ¡°I feel like shit,¡± I answer, most of my attention on my mobile screen. Methods of relieving period cramps... ¡°Food, food, food...¡± I mumble under my breath. Why are there so many food related ones? ¡°Heat, medication, reduce stress, hah.¡± I can''t help but chuckle darkly at that. Stress is like, ninety percent of my life right now. It''s why I feel so awful in the first place.

    My eyes still scanning, I mumble, ¡°Massage, there it is,¡± so that is known to work after all. Maybe I could ask Ken? ¡°Exercise-¡± The doctor mentioned that one... ¡°-diet supplements, sleep... uhh, shock therapy?¡± Isn''t that a little... I shake my head and just try to ignore that one, but then my eyes land right on the next. ¡°O-orgasm?!¡± I realize a moment late that I raised my voice in surprise at the absolute worst time.

    I glance to Ken, who is of course, staring straight at me. There''s a moment, just a single momentary pause, then her turns away. ¡°Nnnnope.¡±

    Despite his absolute refusal to react, I go completely tomato red, and quickly make my retreat to the wash room. Now that my research has crashed and burned so spectacularly, I grab my dirty clothes from today, hand washing them in the sink so they won''t stain as bad. The pants are fine, besides, I won''t even be wearing them again now that I think about it. My panties are definitely a bit worse for wear though.

    Whatever... Scowling lightly, I get into the shower. Of course, that immediately brings that last method of relief back to mind...

    Until I stand under the hot water.

    ¡°Of. Fucking. Course.¡± I growl. The hot water, while it feels good, doesn''t get me the slightest bit aroused as I am now. It figures. I must be too stressed, that''s always what pushed away any sexual feelings before. Obviously I''m stressed right now!

    If my tiny amount of past experience is any indication, masturbation would help with that. So of course the stress stops me from being able to do it. God, women''s bodies are so hard sometimes!

    While I''m grumping at myself, I at least take down the shower head and press it to my belly. The hot water thankfully does help with my cramps, letting my muscles relax some. I sigh. It''s better than nothing. That massage is looking better by the moment...

    If Ken won''t, I''m sure Leona will...

    When I get out of the shower, toss my clothes over something to dry and flop onto my bed. After a long, tired groan, I raise an arm overhead. ¡°Ken, I propose a trade.¡±

    He chuckles, clearly amused by this. ¡°I''m listening.¡±

    ¡°I''ll make something good for dinner if you give me a massage.¡±

    ¡°O...kay...? Should I ask why?¡±

    I eye him in my peripheral. It''s Ken, why not? I shift a little to watch for his reaction. ¡°To help with period cramps.¡± That gets a pretty awkward blush out of him, but as expected, it''s Ken.

    ¡°I see... so you''ve started getting periods now?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it''s my first one, but I can already tell you they suck.¡±

    He nods a few times. ¡°Sure, of course I''ll help.¡±

    ¡°You''re a life saver.¡±

    ¡°Massage or food first?¡± he asks.

    I bite my lip. ¡°God, I want the massage, but I have a feeling I won''t be doing anything after. Food,¡± I decide.

    ¡°Sounds like a plan.¡± We head to the kitchen, and I do my absolute best to ignore the pain as I pull out some chicken. I said I''d make something good... After digging around, I find some lemon. I only vaguely remember how Runa made that chicken a while back, but it definitely used a lot of butter and lemon. Besides chicken...

    I eye the rice cooker. I remember my mom making rice in a pot a few times, but it was always hit and miss. I''d probably burn it. Grabbing the rice cooker, I frown at it. I tap at the little screen on it and soon enough get some instructions. Equal amounts of rice and water, and press the button to make it go?

    Sounds doable, so I follow the directions, using the marks on the thing to determine the amounts, close the lid, and hit the button to cook. With that going I lean against a counter and take a few deep breaths. As long as I try to keep moving, I think I can manage. So I go back over to the chicken. It''s tricky and I mess up a number of times, but I eventually get the chicken breasts cut in half so they''re all similar thickness. Except for my numerous failures, of course.

    Now, how do I do the rest of this...? I look up a recipe, eyeing the ingredients for a general idea for the amounts of butter and lemon, and find that it actually doesn''t need all that much of the lemon for the flavor. I would have added way too much if I''d guessed...

    I have to stop for another minute to sit down. I wanted to get the butter melted, but that will have to wait.

    ¡°You sure you''re alright?¡± Ken asks uncertainly.

    ¡°No, but I''m trying,¡± I sigh.

    ¡°Want some help?¡±

    I raise a brow. ¡°Do you know how to cook?¡±

    ¡°Well, not really, but we did cover the basics in class? I''m sure there''s something I could do.¡±

    I consider it, then laugh a little and smile. ¡°I would accept your help, if I didn''t promise to make you food.¡±

    ¡°Pshh, what promise?¡± he waves it off and stands, circling around the counter. ¡°All I remember is saying I''d help you out.¡±

    I crack a smile. ¡°Thanks, Ken.¡± With that, I direct him through taking butter and getting it into the pan. He turns the heat on, melts it, and gets the chicken in, then covers it with a lid, lowering the heat as I direct. I''m not even totally sure I have the steps right, but it''ll have to do.

    By this point, I manage to get up again and search around until I find a few more ingredients I remember seeing in the recipe I scanned before. I toss some of them into the pan with a little lemon, and set a timer for it to cook.

    ¡°There, that wasn''t so bad,¡± Ken grins. ¡°Teamwork.¡±

    I smirk and slap the hand he raises. ¡°Teamwork.¡± Eventually, the rice cooker starts beeping at us. I''m assuming that means it''s done. When I open the top, it... looks good? I pull a little out and blow on it until it''s cool enough to taste test.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°Yeah, this works.¡± It''s nothing special, but it''s rice. Not soggy or burnt, it''ll get the job done.

    When the timer on the chicken goes off, I pull it from the heat and plate everything. After a long day of pain, the lemony butter smell finally gets my stomach to relax a little. I do my best eating, but still can''t get much down. At least it''s something. I drink a few extra glasses of water, then lie my head on the cool counter while Ken goes at the rest of the food with a big grin on his face. I think I''m getting a touch of headache again.

    As soon as Ken finishes, we throw the rest of the food to the scavengers and return to our room.

    ¡°Alright, can''t say I know how to do this, but I''ll give it a shot,¡± he shrugs. After a couple quick searches on his mobile, he rolls his head a little like he thinks he has an idea.

    Ken has me lie on my bed, on my front. He climbs up behind me and I gulp. This position is a little...

    ¡°Tell me if it hurts or anything, alright?¡±

    ¡°...Sure.¡± I can''t actually see him, but I think I hear him rubbing his hands together quickly. Friction heat? Not a bad idea... Then he presses down on my lower back, pushing and rubbing. It might be a little much, but it still feels good. He keeps it up briefly, and I do think I''m relaxing a little, even if it hasn''t done much of anything for the cramps themselves.

    Once he''s done with that, he pauses briefly, before pressing on one specific spot, right near my spine, all the way down near my tailbone. Instead of rubbing, he applies a steady pressure a few times. I''m not really sure what it''s supposed to do, if he''s even doing it right, but it feels alright I guess.

    After that, Ken has me roll over onto my back. At least now I can see him as he squints at his mobile, trying to follow the directions.

    ¡°Like this...¡± he murmurs. After lining up his hands, he pushes down on my abdomen, just a little below my belly button.

    ¡°Ooh...¡± I groan. Yes, that one feels good. I close my eyes slowly as the pain starts to ease. ¡°Yeah, definitely that spot...¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± he sighs, relief in his voice. He maintains the pressure for a bit, and I can feel myself loosening up. That gives him a little more confidence. ¡°Next is...¡± He moves down lower, and I can feel his fingers pressing lightly, experimentally. It feels like he can''t find the right spot through the hem of my pants.

    Grumbling, I pull my pants down some. I don''t care, I''ve got underwear on. Ken coughs into his hand, but doesn''t say anything. Instead, he finds the right spot, directly over the bone in my pelvis, and pushes down into it.

    Again, I let out a pleased sound as my muscles finally start to relax. ¡°Yeah, that''s good...¡± I tell him quietly. Once he''s done there, his hands move outward, and he gives another push. I flinch this time.

    ¡°Ow! Ow ow ow, too hard. Those spots are really sore.¡± I jerk, half sitting up, and have to settle myself again before he can continue. The next time is better. He''s nice and gentle, the pressure on the sore spots slowly but surely relaxing all the muscles in that area. My stomach feels woozy after so long all clenched up. I think I''ve finally reached a point where I can relax...

    Ken goes through a couple more spots, some working, some not so much. I tell him each time, harder, softer, just right, as I feel my body slowly turn into a happy puddle.

    ¡°God, thank you so much, Ken...¡± I sigh out as he''s finishing up. ¡°Best. Friend. Ever.¡±

    ¡°That''s what I''m here for,¡± and he flashes a big, cocky grin that makes me chuckle tiredly.

    I keep lying there for a little while, almost falling asleep before I remind myself that would be a really bad idea. I drag myself up out of bed, my body feeling like jelly as I head into the wash room and replace my tampon. It''s so much easier when I''m not clenching up in pain...

    I also grab a towel, because the doctor warned me about getting my sheets bloody. I don''t really have full confidence in the tampons to work overnight, I guess I''ll have to see... Once I put the towel down and set an alarm. I climb in, and that''s it, out like a light.

    <hr>

    I spend Saturday morning in bed after breakfast, watching TV and relaxing. Ken goes out to meet Runa, probably for a date or something, so it''s just me, with some nice downtime, all to myself in the safety of my room. I''m sure I could text someone to hang out, but this is nice too. I drink water, take a nap, and my body thanks me for it. Guess I can relieve some stress after all...

    I do take some time to research all my different body parts, like I should have done much earlier. Which one is where, what they''re for, how they work, the kind of things I figure a normal girl would learn like, super young, probably.

    ¡°Haahh...¡± I sigh when I figure I''m done. Back to relaxing...

    When the middle of the day comes and my stomach starts to growl at me, my appetite back now that my cramps aren''t that bad, I text Leona. I''m way too uncomfortable with the men in the dorm to be around them without protection.

    She comes over, immediately asking if I''m feeling better, and I tell her I am. Actually relaxing will do that. I make us some nice sandwiches, probably the thing I''m getting best at, and then we head outside.

    ¡°Sorry, but we have to get you enough exercise.¡±

    ¡°It''s fine,¡± I wave the concern away, ¡°I''m feeling better after some rest, and the exercise is always good.¡± We get to it. Now that it''s hot and I''m not in my greatest condition, Leona makes sure I get plenty of water, and breaks whenever I need them. And there''s a bag over her shoulder with anything I might need, just in case.

    In the late afternoon, we return to my room briefly, and I''m just coming out of the wash room when I get a message. It''s from the school? I sit with Leona so we can read through it.

    ¡°So, I''m getting my new room assignment... must move by noon, Sunday. That''s actually not that bad.¡± I check the room number, but... ¡°Huh? First floor?¡± There aren''t any rooms on the first floor though.

    Already fearing whatever bullshit the administration decided to pull, I leave with Leona. There''s some commotion on the first floor of the guys'' dorm, but I don''t have the attention to spare for that now. We cross the front of the building to the women''s side, and my heart is already sinking. There are a bunch of students gathered around, all looking in the same direction.

    Leona, with a solid twenty centimeters on me, sees it first, her expression dark and foreboding, before we push far enough through the crowd that I can see past all the people taller than me.

    What I see makes my whole body go cold.

    There''s a new section, automated construction bots chiseling it out from the poly-concrete wall that separates the building into male and female halves. There are a handful of construction workers too, with doors, signs, and a few other things while the bots rapidly buzz through the majority of the work.

    I can''t see most of the construction because the only visible part from here is a single doorway into another area with a security door leaning against the wall, not mounted into place yet. But above that... there''s a sign marking the new area.

    ''Trannies''

    I recognize the word. Even before I look it up to remember the exact meaning, I know it''s bad. When I do look it up...

    Oh god, I think I''m going to be sick. Trying not to cry outright, I look up at Leona and freeze.

    I don''t know what I expected. She''s furious.

    ¡°Seiko, stay here.¡± I can already feel her building power, and it''s just a moment more, before everyone turns to stare.

    The horror is only beginning to register on their faces when Leona simply vanishes without a trace. Nothing but the faint trickle of indigo that fades away within moments.

    ...What is she doing?

    That''s about all I have time to question, before she pops into existence next to me again, right where everyone is still staring, so we all practically jump out of our skin.

    And she''s screaming. ¡°-can''t use slurs on official government signage!¡± That''s when it registers - she''s holding the school administrator, collar balled in her fist and the woman lifted up onto her toes.

    ¡°Unhand me this instant! I''ll have you expelled for this!¡± Janice Monasta screams, and the crowd of girls begins backing away rapidly. A few of them scream. Even the construction workers are ducking for cover in front of the deadly, glowing psion.

    Leona hisses back, heavy weight and power rolling off of her. ¡°I told you I will remove any threats to Seiko''s safety, and speech like this is dangerous. If you do not fix this, I will remove you.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you, brat,¡± the vile woman spits back, but her tone is resigned. I guess she at least values her own life over fucking with me...

    Monasta waves a hand in the direction of the construction workers and raises her voice. ¡°Hey, take down the sign.¡±

    The men obey without questioning, unmounting the big faux wood sign from the wall and setting it down on the floor before backing away again.

    ¡°I see you''re dead-set on abusing your power, but I will not allow you to humiliate Seiko. If something like this happens again, it''ll be your head.¡±

    ¡°Piss off,¡± the woman sneers. So Leona throws her one handed, stumbling straight into the crowd. Of course, she flees, but can''t resist hurling insults back at us. ''Queer,'' ''faggot,'' ''tranny.'' I''m not even familiar with all the insults, but they hurt anyway.

    Why is she so... so evil? Why does she hate me so much, just for being me?

    One more swipe of Leona''s hand, and the sign on the floor shreds apart, into a trillion tiny bits, like sawdust, and Leona pulls me away from the scene. Since it''s clear that my new ''room,'' whatever the hell it winds up being, isn''t even made yet. We head back to the men''s dorm, only to realize that commotion we passed by earlier was literally the same thing as the one in the women''s dorm.

    It looks like they''re connecting my room to both sides. To show I don''t belong to either. I start to tear up again. It''s so unfair. I hate this...

    With another wave of her hand, the sign on this side vanishes right off the wall. Then Leona brings me straight back up to my old room so I can cry my eyes out into her lap.

    I don''t get much of anything done the rest of the night. I''m stressed and sad and hurt and in pain again, and everything fucking sucks. Leona has to carry me to the infirmary for my daily check, and my stomach is all in knots again at dinner, right through until I go to bed.

 Chapter 42

    I don''t catch a break Sunday morning. We wake up to another message from the school, clearly sent to all students, informing us that yesterday''s construction is complete. When I head downstairs with Ken, everybody is talking about it. No one knows what''s going on for sure, but there are a ton of rumors, a lot of them including Leona freaking out and attacking the school administrator.

    And even though the signs were destroyed, so many people saw them, now the word ''tranny'' has spread through virtually the entire student body''s vocabulary.

    There are questions, people not even getting it after it''s explained to them, jokes about men wearing dresses, and more than a few guys laugh over the idea of any man ever wanting to be a weak woman or wear women''s clothes.

    I barely even make it down to the first floor, and I''m already holding my stomach and fighting back tears. It wasn''t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to just go live in the women''s dorm. Why did she have to turn it into this?

    When we reach the front, we find the door into the new area now holds no large sign to indicate what it''s for, but there is a flyer stuck to the door itself. It''s standing directly next to the dorm monitor''s spot so he''ll see anyone who comes or goes, the same as using the main entrance.

    There are a bunch of guys crowded around the door already, and we join them to read the big flier posted. I''m not sure at first, what sort of thing would be written. If it was any sort of explanation, everyone wouldn''t look so confused.

    Then I manage to get a look. It''s a list of rules. First and foremost, on the list: You can''t use this to get into the wrong dorm, the doors on either end will only open for people registered on that side.

    What does that mean for me? My room is in the middle, not on either side. Can I open both, or neither? Can I even get to my new room? At this point, I wouldn''t put anything past that bitch.

    I can read the rest later. Right now, I hit the scanner next to the door, and I''m grateful when it slides open. However, the instant I step through, it closes again, damn near clipping my back on the way. Ken has to open it again afterward so he can follow me, and it does the same thing to him.

    Once we shake off the surprise, we look around and my first impression is pretty bleak. The space is no more than a few meters across to the opposite door. It''s not like the separating wall was ever all that thick. In fact, it''s more of a surprise they had this much wasted space before.

    However, the hall we''re in is unnecessarily narrow, so I can''t even stand shoulder to shoulder with Ken comfortably. There are a few other people, all of them guys, exploring the area too. The walls are the same weird teal as everywhere else, but it feels rough and unfinished when I touch one. Even with other people around, it feels like we just stepped into a haunted house or something. It''s just off compared to the rest of the dorms.

    Like it doesn''t belong...

    We squeeze past the guys, spotting a a door on either side around the halfway point, with the numbers one and two on them. Isn''t my room number ten? Where is it? There are no more rooms before we reach the far door, to the girl''s side. I tap the scanner, trying not to get my hopes up, and still end up disappointed when it doesn''t respond.

    Figures. Trying not to take the evil woman''s actions to heart, I turn and start looking around. Where is my room? She didn''t fuck that up too, did she? That''s when I see the stairs. Not too far from the sliding doors, there is a case of spiral stairs tucked into a little alcove off of the hall. This area has multiple floors? We start to climb, and I have to wonder, why is everything here so cramped, even for me?

    When we reach the second floor, I figure out that there are two spiral stairs at either end of the hall, a pair of rooms in the middle, counting up. No doors out, except for the ones all the way down on the first floor. Room ten puts me on the fifth floor.

    I''m the only person in this section of the dorms, so she decided I have to climb five flights of stairs to get to my room.

    God damn it...

    When we finally arrive on the fifth floor, it''s totally empty. No one else bothered to venture past the second. I curse the stairs silently. They had to make them narrow and spiral. If I slipped, there''s a good chance I''d tumble all the way to the bottom. Not to mention, there are no windows here either. Isn''t this a fire hazard?

    We reach my room, and I''m trying to keep my expectations as low as possible to avoid being disappointed again.

    I don''t have any idea how low she''ll go to fuck with me. I hit the scanner.

    The door doesn''t open. I blink and hit it again.

    I''m not registered to the door, I realize. She didn''t actually register my print to my new room, even though it''s already on file.

    My fists clench, and I have to stomp down five flights of stairs to register my damn handprint for my new room, then climb all the way back up again. It''s still morning but I''m already hot and sweaty. God my stomach hurts... I hit the scanner and the door opens this time.

    When I step through, I''m actually pleasantly surprised for once. The furniture looks like the same things as my old room. It''s almost suspicious. That is, until I realize the problem.

    It''s not the furniture, it''s the room itself. It''s small, really small... The walls are bare and blank, no windows, no doors. Do I not have a wash room? Where am I supposed to shower? What if I have to use the toilet?

    The men and women have a public bathroom on every floor, as well as attached wash rooms with a toilet and shower for every dorm room.

    This new section has five floors of nothing. There aren''t any toilets available outside of the dorm rooms either. Unless I got someone to let me into their room or ran all the way to the main school building, I literally don''t have anywhere to pee.

    This... this is unlivable. There''s no way it can be legal to give me a room without access to basic human necessities like running water. I pull out my mobile to text Leona. No service... Shit, with no windows, there isn''t even sat signal here. It''s basically a concrete coffin. We have to go all the way down and out just to contact her, then all the way up to my new room again.

    She meets us outside my room a handful of minutes later. I show her inside and explain the problems.

    ¡°That bitch, no one could live in these conditions. It''s inhumane. In fact, I think it''s literal torture.¡± She groans, and takes out her mobile, to call psi-ops. Of course, that means another trip down five flights of dangerous stairs to get out of the dorms just for a signal. This is fucking insane.

    Standing out on the lawn, the call connects. ¡°Mejja, we have a pretty serious problem,¡± she starts in after a brief greeting. ¡°Seiko is supposed to be starting as a female student tomorrow morning. Seiko is moving into a new dorm room today, but the school administrator...¡± She sputters out a little, not even knowing how to put it for some time.

    ¡°She is literally human garbage.¡± Blunt, but true. ¡°She''s had it out for Seiko the entire time but-¡± she coughs, sputters indignantly. ¡°She refuses to allow Seiko into the women''s dorm. She had an entire new addition to the dorms constructed so she could isolate Seiko in an area with no light, no people, at the top of five flights of stairs without a lift, no running water, no sat signal, and no way out in case of fire. At this point, I wouldn''t put it past her to start one herself in an attempt to kill Seiko. Mejja, she''s insane and dangerous, what can I do?¡±

    After her long rant, Mejja actually pauses for a few long moments. ¡°Wow, you really ran into a grade-A cunt. Thanks for calling, it''s good Maka-san didn''t get trapped in there. I''ll make some calls, someone I know will send down a direct order for where Maka-san stays. Do you have a room in mind?¡±

    ¡°Mine is fine,¡± Leona immediately suggests. ¡°Haven''t seen my roommate in months.¡± Wait, she does have a roommate? She just hasn''t seen them? Isn''t she worried about them disappearing?

    While I''m spinning in my own head over the implications, Leona goes over the room number he needs, and they end the call with hardly even a ''bye'' between them.

    ¡°Come on Seiko, Mejja will take care of everything. Let''s move your stuff to my room.¡±

    ¡°Sure. And thanks for everything Leona. There''s no way I could have made it through this without you. And Mejja-san too, I have to thank him for this later.¡± I sniffle, wiping a couple tears from my eyes, and my friends pull me into a hug.

    ¡°Don''t worry, we''re here for you,¡± Ken tells me warmly. ¡°We all are.¡±

    Together, we leave the dorms. We go to the school store first to pick up a number of cardboard boxes for packing up all my stuff.

    When we get back to the dorms, all of our friends are waiting for us with these big, knowing grins.

    ¡°Guys...¡± I wipe at my face while Ken rubs my back. Lucy bounces up to me and hugs me. It''s sudden, but I see it coming, and hug her back. Everyone else closes in around us, with Runa and Amari rubbing my head while we all end up in a sort of group hug.

    Soon enough, we break apart, all heading upstairs to my old room. With so many people, all my stuff is packed up in boxes in a flash. I feel a little bad sitting around and watching them, but my stomach is killing me after everything today. I need the time to relax and de-stress a little. It''s sad to see my already well-loved half of the room stripped bare, but my new room with Leona will be nice too.

    ¡°What about the TV?¡± Ken asks, looking up at the projector on the ceiling. ¡°You bought it, so you should take it.¡±

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    ¡°It''s fine,¡± I wave off his concern. ¡°You use it way more than I do and I have a ton of money to buy another if I want. Besides, this will probably keep being our hang out room from now on.¡± I glance around, and it''s clear everyone knows that. Especially now that it will just be Ken''s room, I''m willing to bet we''ll all wind up here a whole lot from now on too. Maybe I should leave a blanket and a couple pillows for the free bed...

    ¡°Well, fine,¡± he runs a hand up through his red hair, clearly not a hundred percent pleased about keeping the projector I spent so much time saving up for. I get it, but at the same time... things are kind of different now.

    ¡°Don''t worry, you''ve done more for me in the last few months than money could buy.¡± I grin up at him, and he finally lets it go. With that, we''re finished.

    ¡°You ready?¡± Leona asks meaningfully. When everyone sees us carrying all this stuff over, it''s going to cause a huge stir. And I wouldn''t put anything past the administrator at this point, even with direct orders on my room assignment from her superiors, we might still have some kind of fight on our hands. Anywhere and any way she can weasel out of giving me the things I have every right to.

    I want to say yes, but... ¡°How about lunch first? I''m betting we''re going to be too busy to eat for a while with everything coming up.¡±

    ¡°Good idea.¡± Leona accepts my decision easily. ¡°Early lunch, everyone?¡±

    ¡°Hell yeah, is Runa cooking?¡± Finn asks. I do a double take when I realize he''s here. Wait, he doesn''t even know what''s going on, does he? We never told him about me. Why does he think we''re packing up all my stuff?

    Then Matt Bell joins in. ¡°Yeah, food!¡± He- he isn''t even my friend, is he? What''s he doing here?!

    I sigh, then finally start laughing. You know what, who cares? We''ve all been hanging out for months now and they either haven''t noticed, or haven''t cared about the changes. With all my boxes stacked up near the door, we head out to the kitchen. There are nine of us, so we''re going to have to make a pretty big meal.

    In the kitchen, I stop. Looking everyone over again, it feels like someone is missing. After some thought, I take out my mobile and text Gon, asking if he wants to join us for lunch. When he doesn''t respond at first, I add that I''d really like him to come, as thanks for all the help with my new clothes.

    It takes him a little while longer, but he finally come back with a ''sure.'' I tell him we''re in the male dorms, third floor. He doesn''t respond, I assume that means he''s nearby and he''ll be right over. I turn my attention back to Runa, who is looking just a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of cooking a meal for nine-now-ten people.

    ¡°Hey, what are you thinking of making?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Well... Something good for a lot of people, mostly. A big, heavy casserole of some kind... Something filling, so stuff like meat, cheese and pasta.¡± She starts to fill a large pot with water, even as she keeps thinking.

    ¡°Alright, I think I have a plan. Grab some chicken to start.¡± I do as she instructs, putting it on the counter next to a cutting board. ¡°I''m thinking mushrooms, broccoli, cabbage... let''s chop a bunch of vegetables into it, alright?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± I keep grabbing ingredients as she calls them out and throw them all up to join the chicken. She''s done filling the pot, so she puts it on the stove to heat. We split up the cutting job, Amari, Lucy, and Jen joining us. Even Ken asks if there''s any way he can help.

    Since there isn''t too much he can do, he gets assigned to the pasta. He just has to put it in when the water boils and set a timer, then pull it off the heat when it''s done. A few minutes of quiet chatter pass as we all work our way through chopping the different vegetables and meat.

    The hard ones go in a pan with some oil to soften while the rest are poured into a big casserole dish, and we start the oven heating. After some searching through the cabinets and the fridge, a red sauce and a bunch of different cheeses go in too, and we carefully stir it all together.

    With that done, I step back and take a breather. I lean against the counter and rub my stomach. ¡°You doing alright?¡± Leona asks. I turn to answer, only now noticing that Gon has already joined us.

    ¡°U-uh,¡± I stumble, and she follows my eyes. He notices too and offers a shy wave, which I return. I shake myself and address Leona again. ¡°I''m alright, just stressed. I think this is helping,¡± and gesture around to all my gathered friends. Even with my whole life changing, they''re all still here for me. Then I look over and say, ¡°Hey, Gon. Thanks for joining us.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I didn''t realize there would be so many people, but... what are you making?¡± It looks like he''s trying to not pay attention to the people all gathered in the kitchen.

    ¡°Some kind of casserole, I''m not really sure. Hey, Runa, what is this exactly?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Pretty much that. Just a casserole. Casseroles can include any mix of ingredients you want, so it''s not like they have one fixed recipe.¡± We both nod slightly to the new information.

    When the timer goes off, Runa helps Ken out straining the pasta. It looks like long, tube shaped noodles. When I ask, she calls them ''penne.'' Once strained, they get mixed in with everything else in our big, cheesy casserole. Then even more cheese gets thrown over top and the entire thing goes in the oven.

    ¡°Now, we wait,¡± Runa declares. There''s a half hour for the whole concoction to cook in the oven, so we cluster into one area of the common room, circling up on some couches, all squished in since there are so many of us. Of course, I go between Ken and Leona since I don''t think I''m comfortable enough with the others to be quite this close. I lean back on the couch, letting my head rest, close my eyes, and breathe for a while.

    It helps. Between that and the slowly spreading scent of food from the kitchen, my stomach cramps ease for a while. I mostly ignore the chatter going on between my friends, something about a TV show some of them have seen lately. At some point, a nagging thought reminds me to change my tampon before we eat and get into everything else today, so I grab Leona to come with me. Even though my room is right there, I''m not taking any chances today.

    However, when I hit the scanner on the door, it doesn''t open. ¡°Uhh?¡± I look at her and she tries too, but there''s still no response. Did they already...

    I pull out my mobile and check the time. It''s like, three minutes after noon. Their message said to be out by midday, but to think that means they would wipe my room registration at noon... I shake my head. Of course they did, the bitch administrator probably saw to it herself. And now that it''s not my room, of course she took Leona''s out too.

    With a sigh, I try to shrug it off. I grab Ken to open the door up, letting everyone know what happened in the process, then put the whole issue out of mind. I refuse to let her shit get to me right now. Once I''m done in the wash room, we return, just in time for food.

    As intended, it''s a whole lot of nice, heavy, filling food so everyone can dig in to their heart''s content. I eat my fill too, rubbing my belly from time to time when it throbs a little worse than usual. I manage a decent amount of food too, nice and full when I''m done.

    The other girls finish up, and then it''s just the guys, all grinning and gorging themselves. Like always, there are dozens of jealous eyes on us, but I just stick up my nose at them. If they wanted good food, they''d actually pay attention in cooking class! Even so, when we''re finished and satisfied, we all rest for a minute.

    Before we can move onto anything else, I clear my throat to get everyone''s attention. ¡°So, I just wanted to thank everyone. Runa-chan for the food, Ken and Leona for always looking out for me. Gon-san, for helping so much with clothes I can actually wear. Jen too, for, you know, teaching me the basics. I wouldn''t have gotten this far without that.¡± I still feel awkward about us, but there''s no denying how much she''s done too.

    ¡°Amari-san, Lucy-san, thanks for showing us all to Jostole, hanging out there has been great. I hope we can keep going.¡± The girls grin and Lucy gives me a thumbs up. ¡°Finn-san and Bell-san, umm...¡± I scratch a cheek. It feels weird to just leave them out, so... ¡°Thanks for, like... just being cool and stuff?¡±

    ¡°Cooool...¡± Bell drawls lazily from his spot at the counter with a half-cool, half-silly hand gesture.

    At the same time, Finn snickers. ¡°Sure thing, Sei-chan.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Sei,¡± Ken speaks up right after, bringing one big hand to rub the top of my head from his spot at my side. ¡°Thanks for sticking it out so long. Never hesitate to call me up if you need something. Now, let''s all hope things go well, ready to take on the world?¡± He turns the last question to everyone, getting a mix of confident, and worried nods. And plain confusion from Finn and Bell of course, totally out of the loop as they are.

    While that finally prompts them to ask what we''re actually up to, Runa calls in the watching guys to finish off our leftover food as always, and we head back to... Ken''s room. When he hits the panel to open the door, I remind myself I don''t live here anymore.

    Once we''re inside and everyone''s starting to pick up the cardboard boxes of my stuff, I give the other two guys the explanation they''ve been missing. The whole school will know tomorrow, I may as well fill in the rest of my not-exactly-friends beforehand.

    ¡°I''m moving dorms,¡± I mean, that much should be obvious-

    ¡°Oh, I get it!¡± Finn snaps his fingers, face lighting up with understanding. ¡°That new section of the dorms, you''re a tranny?¡±

    I flinch. Gritting my teeth, I take a few deep breaths so I don''t cry. ¡°Well... I mean... yeah, kinda, I guess. But don''t use that word, it''s a slur.¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry,¡± he immediately grimaces, ¡°I didn''t know. So umm... what''s the right word?¡±

    ¡°That would be...¡± Wait, what is the right word? So far, I''ve just been saying I''m a girl, because it''s true. That word is used to say I''m sort of like a girl but not really. Which, duh, is what makes it a slur. I am a girl. Not a fake girl, not a guy dressing as a girl, just a girl.

    But... most people like me would still have a biologically male body, wouldn''t they? Even if they''re girls, soul and all, they''d be stuck in a body that doesn''t fully match. God, I can''t even imagine how painful that would be every day...

    I pull out my mobile, trying to search for the correct term. Even if it doesn''t fit me exactly because my body was changed by a supernatural phenomena, there must be some term for others like me, right?

    ¡°There,¡± I raise my voice when I find it on a message board and pull up a definition. ¡°It''s called ''transgender.'' It means... someone whose gender assigned at birth doesn''t match their actual gender. Oh, that does fit me.¡± Since the term doesn''t have anything to do with physical sex, it''s just ''what the doctor thought I was.'' It applies to anyone that they get wrong, doesn''t it?

    Because they assign gender based on sex instead of, you know, gender. I know it''s probably not feasible to put newborns in a scanner to check their actual gender, but still... In any case, physical body changes don''t have anything to do with it, so the term still applies to me perfectly.

    Scanning past the word... ¡°It looks like it gets shorted to ''trans'' a lot.¡± Then I mumble, ¡°No wonder why ''tranny'' is the slur for it... Ugh.¡± It''s basically the shortened form, twisted to sound ugly.

    ¡°So... you decided to be a girl?¡± Bell asks, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

    ¡°No, I figured out I already am one. It just took a while because of the way my parents raised me. And before you ask, no. Being male or female has absolutely nothing to do with your anatomy. Doctors just assign gender that way because doing it properly is too hard.¡± Well, that and if everyone around me is any indication, the vast majority of people aren''t transgender. So I guess it''s a ''good enough'' method for them. It doesn''t fail them often enough to care about.

    ¡°Huh...¡± the guys don''t really seem to get it, but at least they aren''t hurling insults at me or anything, like that bitch did.

    ¡°Meh. Girls, guys, who cares?¡± Finn finally shrugs the whole thing off. I don''t know exactly what he means, but I''ll take it as a good sign for now.

    ¡°Anyway, I''m changing dorms because I told the school I''m actually a girl and got my enrollment changed. The whole new wing fiasco was caused by the school administrator trying to fuck with me. Those rooms aren''t livable, and I''m pretty sure illegal. I''m moving into Leona''s room instead.¡±

    ¡°Oof, that''s rough.¡± Finn shakes his head, and everyone else agrees vehemently.

    ¡°Pretty much. I''m probably going to have a lot more fights for my rights to, you know, everything, but that comes later. Right now, it''s moving time. Everyone ready?¡±

    With a round of agreement, everyone gets to picking up boxes. Time to do this.

 Chapter 43

    Since there are so many of us, I don''t even have a box to carry to my new room. Probably a good thing, actually. Leona and Ken carry the ones my weights got split up into, because apparently they''re too heavy to carry together? I don''t really get that one, either of them should have no problem with that much weight, they''re the strongest people here after all.

    Whatever, not the time to question it. We all head out. On our way across the third floor common room, everyone stops to stare. At a glance, there''s no question about it, someone is moving. A bunch of them are still gathered around the kitchen counter, polishing off the last of the food from earlier.

    I start seeing people putting the puzzle together. Moving, the boxes coming from the room with me and Ken. The new section of the dorms. The light bulbs lighting up, just like with Finn earlier. Their eyes turn on me, jaws slack. And my blood goes cold.

    ¡°Holy shit, he''s a tranny?¡±

    ¡°Wow, no shit, just look at him!¡±

    ¡°Haha, should''ve figured that out months ago!¡±

    ¡°Believe it or not, I did figure it out!¡±

    ¡°Bullshit, you never said anything before.¡±

    I try to ignore them. Just don''t pay them any mind, they''re idiots who can''t even feed themselves properly. I stare straight ahead and keep walking, surrounded by my friends. Even if everyone else doesn''t get it, they do, and they''ll support me.

    Burdened with all this stuff, we take the lift down instead of the stairs.

    When they say that rumors spread like wildfire, I think they underestimate it. By the time the lift opens up on the first floor, word has already spread ahead of us. God damn it. Everyone watches, laughter and jeering coming from all sides. But it stops when we don''t head into the new section of the dorms, going right out the entrance instead. There are a number of confused questions raised behind us.

    I smile faintly, a tiny flame of vindication in my chest. We cross the front of the building, and I''m already seeing the mix of men and women, looking at their mobiles as the whole interconnected student body messages the news out to everyone they know as fast as they possibly can.

    We get to the female dorm and I stop at the front desk to register, because I guarantee the administrator refused to let it go through automatically.

    ¡°Seiko Maka, I''m here to register for floor five, room number twenty two.¡± Why am I not surprised the building monitor is scowling at me from behind her desk...?

    ¡°I was told to send you to the administration office when you arrived.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± I groan. ¡°What is it this time?¡± My stomach is already tying itself in knots at the thought of having to talk to that woman again.

    ¡°Go on, Sei,¡± Ken calls. ¡°We can just hang out here, right guys?¡± Even as they speak up, agreeing, they''re all piling the boxes up and sitting on them, right next to the monitor desk, drawing a long, irritated glare from the woman behind it. That just makes them grin even wider.

    ¡°Thanks, everyone. We''ll be right back.¡± I nod to Leona and we head outside. I don''t want to leave them waiting, so Leona picks me up, carrying me rapidly across the school grounds. We make it to the office in a handful of minutes, much faster than we could have otherwise, and knock on the door.

    ¡°Come in.¡±

    Of course she''s ready and waiting. We go inside, and I''m surprised she doesn''t try to kick Leona out this time.

    ¡°So, I received direct orders to put you in the female dorm, fifth floor, room twenty two,¡± she begins, her fingers trailing over the top of her desk before she looks at me. ¡°Unfortunately, I can''t do that, because the room is already fully occupied.¡± That excuse draws an immediate glare from Leona. ¡°Placing you in the room as ordered would require me to force one of the occupants out. That would be awful, being forced of your own room by someone who doesn''t belong, don''t you think?¡±

    Before she can get any further, Leona steps forward and interrupts. ¡°I''ll give up my room.¡± I grimace even more than I already was at the administrator''s words. Leona''s going to give up her own room for me? That''s so unfair!

    The woman definitely expected this response. In fact, it only takes a moment to realize that was her intention all along, she was trying to bait Leona. All it takes is the big, evil grin that cracks across her face.

    ¡°Consider it done.¡± She taps at her desk briefly. ¡°Since the most straightforward change will be a room swap, I''ll do that.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± I don''t- But my room was in the guy''s dorm. Is she sending Leona over there like some sort of revenge? How does that even work?

    When I glance up at her though- ¡°You know those rooms remotely livable.¡± My blood goes cold. Technically, my registered room right now is that hell hole, isolated from the rest of the building. She''s sending Leona there?

    Her comment only widens Monasta''s feral grin further. ¡°What, the big bad military girl is afraid of a dorm room?¡± she mocks.

    I clench my fists. This bitch! Somehow though, Leona isn''t rattled at all. ¡°Fine, I''ll take that room. However, I will be lodging a formal complaint about this.¡±

    ¡°Tch,¡± the woman scowls. Because she couldn''t get a rise out of Leona? Or because she knows it''s only a matter of time before Leona gets someone else to force her to fix things? But how is Leona supposed to get by in the meantime? ¡°Fine, have it your way. Just remember, that is your room now. The building monitor will see to it that you you only go into your own room at night, you will be penalized if you don''t.¡±

    ¡°Understood.¡± How can she be alright with this? She said it herself, there''s no way to live in there... But when I look, her stoic face doesn''t betray any impression of what she''s thinking.

    ¡°Good. There''s just one more thing I need to do before I can put through the room change. The sinister air Janice Monasta exudes suddenly spikes, and I shiver. What could it possibly be?

    ¡°One of my superiors, rightfully, has concerns about admitting a man into the women''s dorm, so he requested to talk with you before he gives me the go-ahead.¡±

    Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck...

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    Someone like her, but with even more power... And this completely unknown person is going to determine whether I get my new room or not? What happened, did something go wrong with Mejja calling in that favor?

    ¡°Well, I''ll give him a call now.¡± My heart is hammering out of my chest and I''m starting to get nauseous. I shouldn''t have eaten so much earlier. A video screen pops up from the edge of her desk as she taps at her desk console. It rings, and rings, and Leona leans in closer to my side, a hand squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. Then it connects, and Janice Monasta''s entire countenance switches. Suddenly, she''s all politeness and fake smiles.

    ¡°Hello, Sir.¡± Her voice is cheery. ¡°I''m calling about what we talked about earlier.¡±

    ¡°Good good, Seiko Maka-san?¡± comes a man''s voice.

    Before I can swallow down my trepidation, Monasta leans in toward the screen and says, ¡°I''ll switch the video.¡± With the tap of a button, the video screen swaps sides, the one facing us lighting up. I''m immediately met with the image of an old man.

    He''s shown from chest up, his lined face and bald head putting him in his fifties or sixties. He wears a dark military style jacket and a faint frown that looks like it hardly ever leaves his face.

    ¡°Y-yes, I''m here.¡± I can only say that much, trying not to press a hand into my throbbing stomach as he looks me over from the other end of the call. Even with the jacket on, he has the wide, powerful shoulders of a very large, built up ¨C possibly military - man like my father. The extra fat around his face and neck indicates he''s let himself go since then. The faint familiarity is bringing my anxiety pounding to the forefront of my thoughts. What if he''s like my dad?

    ¡°Let me introduce myself. I''m Roland Barrett, Bightock county finance department. Monasta-san informed me that she''s received orders from above to transfer you into the female dorm, despite you being male. I''m sure you can see the issue here.¡±

    ¡°U-umm, Sir.¡± I don''t know exactly how formal to be here, I know he''s higher up than Monasta, but by how much? Not to mention, he isn''t even from our county. And if he''s from the finance department too. He doesn''t even have anything to do with this, he''s just sticking his nose in where it doesn''t belong.

    But all of that just tells me he''s some government big shot... Trying to stay on the safe side, I lower my head slightly as I speak. ¡°Roland Barrett-san, I''m sorry, but the information you received is incorrect. I am female.¡±

    ¡°Oh really?¡± he lifts a brow, seeming more curious than malevolent, at least for now. Is he different than her after all? Then why did he go out of his way to get involved? ¡°But your identifying documents list you as male.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I understand that, Sir.¡± I''m glad I''m prepared for this at least. ¡°Those documents are incorrect, I''ve had a medical doctor confirm my gender and submit the documents to the school to correct my enrollment information.¡±

    ¡°I see that, however...¡± when he says that instead of accepting the explanation, my breath catches. ¡°I''ve heard the doctor in question has been ordered to hide all but that small portion of your medical information, and psi-ops will not explain anything either. I''m sure you can understand how all the secrecy makes me skeptical of you and your doctor''s claims, that your identifying information is somehow incorrect. And that it has not become an issue any time in the last sixteen years.¡±

    Fuck, I hate how he gives such a reasonable sounding explanation for what amounts to ''I don''t believe anything you say.''

    ¡°Now, I was hoping you could simply explain things, that would clear up any misunderstandings, wouldn''t it?¡± he goes on. ¡°Simply tell me what happened, why things are different now.¡± So that''s it, he must have heard Monasta''s guess that psionics are involved, and is trying to force the whole story out of me. But why? Who would want info on what psi-ops is up to?

    Of course, this is where Leona steps in. She moves up to my side, gives a crisp military salute, and bows respectfully. ¡°Pardon me, Sir. I am Leona Vicca from psi-ops. That information is confidential.¡±

    ¡°I have clearance level six,¡± he tosses back easily. I gulp when Leona''s fingers tense on my shoulder. Monasta only has clearance level ten, so he''s way higher up than she is.

    Leona nods her understanding, face not giving away the nerves that her hand does. However- ¡°My apologies, but that is not high enough. The details of Seiko Maka-san''s medical information require clearance level five.¡±

    That leaves the man surprised and flustered, he clearly didn''t expect to be denied here. ¡°Th- But- How could a kid''s medical record be a high command military secret?¡± Wait, clearance level five is what?

    While he''s still reeling, Leona whispers to me. ¡°Careful Seiko, do whatever he says. He''s too high, we don''t have the political clout to snub him.¡± Oh, fuck... That''s why even Leona''s being so polite to him, unlike Monasta. If he''s only one step below clearance for high military secrets...

    I gulp. How does Monasta even know this guy? ¡°Fine, fine, I see that there''s more to this than I believed,¡± Barrett recovers, straightening his dark jacket and standing up a little more, the very top of his head touching the edge of the video screen.

    ¡°In any case, without access to further information, my only choice is to confirm things for myself.¡±

    ¡°...?¡± I open my mouth, head tilting in confusion.

    ¡°Maka-san,¡± he says when it''s clear I don''t get it. ¡°Your records say you are male, which would make you a danger to the women in the dorm.¡± I have to stop myself from responding to that, to tell him it''s totally not true. Men aren''t automatically a danger to women! Only assholes who don''t take ''no'' for an answer! Biting my tongue and choking down, I just keep listening.

    ¡°So, to confirm you are female and not a danger to women, I''ll have to check your genitals.¡± He makes a gesture, telling me to get to it.

    What?

    I have to replay his words in my head three times before they fully register.

    He just- Did he really-?!

    With angry heat rising in my cheeks, I open my mouth, but Leona''s hand closes tighter on my shoulder. ¡°Do it,¡± she hisses through her teeth. She can keep her stoic face impassive, but can''t hide the rage in her own eyes, or the shaking of her clenched hand on my shoulder.

    She just told me, we don''t have to support we need to oppose him. I start to go cold inside. Just like Monasta had to cow to Mejja, now it''s our turn to capitulate to a higher power. Eyes trailing away from the screen again, Monasta is there, face plastered in a sickening grin so vile it turns my stomach.

    My hands move, but come up short. My breath is going shallow, darkness ringing my vision as I try again, make them move. I swallow and lower my eyes.

    Half of my brain can''t even believe this is happening.

    The other half brings my hands downward. Tears are already streaming down my face. My hands are shaking with helpless, ashamed fury.

    I unbutton my pants.

    Grasping the waistband, I pull them down with my underwear, and show him everything.

    I think I''m going to throw up. The old man is staring at me down there. Why do I have to do this? Why won''t anyone believe me? Why do they all care so damn much what I have down there in the first place?

    My god damn genitals do not decide who I am!

    But no matter how wrong and fucked up he is, I can''t correct him. Can''t deny him. So much for my bodily autonomy. Who cares whether people stop when you tell them to, if you aren''t even allowed to say ''no?''

    Barrett says something. He''s asking a question, but I can''t hear his words. I can''t hear anything over my pounding heart and the tears pouring out from my soul. More words pass between the people around me, but my vision is tunneled in on the floor at my feet. I can''t...

    When a hand touches my back, my entire body jolts and I flinch away, trying hopelessly to protect myself. Then I realize it''s Leona. When her mouth moves, the sounds don''t make any sense. With a few careful motions, she gets me to pull my pants back up, my hands still clenched around the waistband. Fingers clenched to the point it should hurt, but I don''t even feel it.

    Then I''m following her. I don''t know where. I think there''s grass. Then it''s flooring. More sounds of people talking. Loud voices. Concerned voices. I can''t see them through the tears. Can''t understand them through the pain.

    At some point, we move again. I have no idea what''s going on around me anymore. Everything slowly fades to black.

 Chapter 44

    I flinch awake, the rapidly fading memory of something terrible from a nightmare disappearing to the back of my mind. But it doesn''t matter, the waking world is no better. My breath is coming rapid and shallow. I jolt up, and immediately regret it. All of my insides are tied in knots.

    The next thing I know, I''m stumbling into the wash room, just in time to throw up everything inside me. But it only makes me feel even worse. When there''s nothing left, I keep kneeling over the bowl, crying and retching. God, why does everything hurt?

    ¡°...Seiko...?¡± The quiet, hesitant voice from behind makes me jump anyway. When I spin around on the floor, I see Leona hovering in the doorway. She looks like shit, nothing but anxiety and stress in her expression and posture. ¡°...How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Uuuuuu....¡± I cry wordlessly. I can''t manage anything else at this point. Leona kneels down to the floor, opening her hands out wide. I crawl over to her on my hands and knees, practically into her lap, but stop short.

    My hand trembles, reaching for her, but I''m scared. Why am I so afraid? My fingers hover, a hair off from her shirt shaking uncontrollably. Why do I feel like this? What''s wrong with me?

    Leona waits patiently, like a statue, prepared to take me into her arms, whenever I''m ready. But I''m not ready. I curl up, pressing my forehead to the floor. I can barely think through the throb of pain from my head and stomach and heart. The lasting nausea and every one of my emotions screaming that I am not ok.

    I end up sobbing on the floor, I have no idea for how long. When I''m too delirious to go on, Leona whispers to me comfortingly. How things will be alright. That I''m safe here. She''ll watch over me. Protect me.

    Eventually, she gets me to lay my head in her lap. Something about the contact is such a relief, it makes me cry all over again, to the point where I start hiccupping randomly. Then Leona''s mobile rings, and she releases a long sigh.

    When she answers, I soon realize it''s Mejja on the line. She tells him there won''t be any checkup data today, and when he asks why, she tells him what happened. Hearing it said aloud, I break down even further, fingers scratching at the tiled floor.

    I can''t take this. It hurts too much. I don''t know what to do.

    ¡°Shit. I can hardly hold that against you,¡± Mejja sighs. ¡°I didn''t expect someone like that to butt into our business. Keep me updated, I''m going to try running interference, keep his connections and high command off your backs. I need you to stabilize Maka-san''s condition, do you think you can do that?¡±

    ¡°I don''t know, Mejja. This isn''t the kind of trauma you just get over. There''s a reason women don''t get through basic you know. And Seiko''s already been through sexual abuse before. I''m worried, Mejja. Seiko is strong, but everyone has a limit.¡±

    ¡°I see... Should I send Allanna?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± I flinch away when Leona suddenly raises her voice. ¡°Oh, no no no, Seiko, it''s fine,¡± she instantly switches, cooing and gesturing soothingly. ¡°I wasn''t shouting at you.¡± I know that, but... I wrap my arms around my shaking body. I''m scared anyway, some part of my brain screaming danger and fear for no reason... ¡°This is a safe place, nothing bad will happen here, alright? I didn''t mean to scare you.¡± Slowly, she gets me to settle in her lap again.

    Only then, she returns her attention to the phone call, speaking softly into it while I grip at the knees of her pants, head resting on her thighs. ¡°Mejja, I''ll do my best, just please, leave it to me.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I''ll give you a few days. If you don''t get Maka-san stable enough for checking by Wednesday, I will send Allanna down there to help.¡±

    Leona hisses through her teeth, then speaks in a careful, controlled voice. ¡°Fine, I''ll do my best. Talk to you later.¡± After she hangs up, Leona leans a little closer. ¡°Hey, Seiko, would you like me to rub your head? I think it would feel nice. What do you think?¡±

    After some hesitation... ¡°Nn.¡± I nod into her lap.

    ¡°Alright, here I go...¡± she murmurs to me, before I feel her hand come down lightly on the back of my head. ¡°You can always tell me if you''re uncomfortable, Seiko. Remember, this is a safe space, and I will respect your boundaries, even if other people won''t. You can always, always tell me to stop.¡±

    Between her quiet reassurances and the soothing touch of her hand, I start to cry again. This time because it''s nice, when everything else is just pain.

    After some time, Leona whispers, ¡°Seiko, would you like to move somewhere more comfortable?¡± She''s right, the floor is hard and everything smells like puke.

    I nod into her lap again, and she ever so gently pulls me up, softly coaxing me to take her hands, and leads me over to a bed.

    She has me stand briefly as she grabs some stuff and throws it on the bed, then gets me to lie down. I''m on my side, using her thighs like a pillow again, while she strokes a hand through my hair.

    My insides are still all so twisted up, it''s hard to focus on anything but the one good feeling from her fingers, playing lightly over my scalp.

    I relax, just a tiny bit, and I''m asleep.

    <hr>

    The next thing I know, my eyes are fluttering open. I groan. I''m so hungry and thirsty, but my stomach is still in knots. How do I eat like this...?

    My gaze wanders above, seeing Leona, eyes shut, head hanging limply to the side. Her mouth opens and closes with slow, sleeping breaths. Did she... hold me all night?

    After all that crying and sleeping, I''m thankfully feeling significantly more put together. Like I''m not going to shatter at the slightest touch. That''s... not a very high bar, is it...?

    Thinking so, my already low mood sinks further. No, no, I can''t just wallow I tell myself. Even if that violation yesterday is still a gaping wound in my heart, I have to keep going. I''ve been hurt and healed before.

    Just... not so badly...

    When I was assaulted, there was something I could do about it. Get stronger, or rely on my friends.

    What do you do when you realize you have no true bodily autonomy because there are people above you that can do anything they want to you without repercussions? It wouldn''t be an issue in those other countries I read about, but in Laros, there will always be people that are above reproach.

    I''m slowly realizing that normally, no one needs to worry about that. Military high command practically lives in a different world from normal people like us, it''s my change and my involvement with psi-ops that''s drawing the attention of the giants down onto my tiny little life beneath their feet.

    ¡°Mmmmrrgghh...¡± I grumble to myself. All this thinking isn''t helping me feel any better. Leona hasn''t woken up, so I slowly pull myself up, out of her lap. As soon as I shift though, I feel it.

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    I look down to find that first, I''m not wearing anything. Literally no clothes at all. Instead of clothing, my lower body is covered in blood. I grit my teeth to keep from screaming. Don''t freak out, it''s fine, I tell myself. Just period blood, I''m not dying or anything. Deep breaths... After a minute, the panic fades, so I can look myself over calmly.

    Shit, I was such a wreck yesterday, Leona probably had to deal with things while I was unconscious. I guess rather than fighting with changing my tampons, she stripped me to keep my clothes clean. My bedding is covered with a number of now-bloody towels, since I''ve been bleeding into them all night.

    I get up, get a few sips of water, then slowly pick up the towels and look around.

    That''s right, this is my new dorm room, isn''t it? Won''t Leona get in trouble for staying here overnight? Thinking so, I shake her gently awake.

    ¡°Leona, hey Leona.¡±

    She''s still sitting up in her sleep, her back against the wall, so she partially loses balance before her head snaps upright, and she''s wide awake. I flinch a little at how sudden it is, some part of me ready to panic outright before I remind myself it''s just Leona. I probably surprised her more than she surprised me.

    I shake the feeling off as she looks at me, pretty much at eye level when she''s sitting up on my bed.

    ¡°Seiko? How are you feeling?¡± She starts to ask about me, even as she winces in visible pain and one hand rises to massage one side of her neck.

    ¡°I''m feeling a lot better, thanks to you. Really, thank you for staying with me, Leona.¡± That doesn''t even begin to cover how much she helped me while I was at my lowest, like some kind of wounded animal.

    ¡°What about you?¡± I turn the question around. ¡°Won''t you get in trouble for staying here?¡±

    Unexpectedly, Leona''s response is to smile at me warmly. ¡°Don''t worry, Seiko, I''ll be fine. Janice Monasta-san is an idiot.¡±

    ¡°Umm?¡±

    ¡°I can teleport, remember? As far as she can tell, I''m in ''my room'' right now.¡± She throws up air quotes with a big grin. I return it. I didn''t realize Leona had a plan, that''s why she jumped on the chance to ''give up'' her room to me.

    ¡°Oh god, I love you, Leona,¡± giggle, and give her a hug. Yes, hugging is nice with people who actually respect me...

    ¡°You too, Seiko,¡± and she pats me on the head.

    When we pull away again, another little throb of pain makes me ask, ¡°Leona, could you give me a massage? I still feel like shit...¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± she agrees without hesitation, ¡°as long as you''re comfortable being touched like that.¡±

    I hesitate, but then nod anyway. There''s no one I feel safer with. ¡°It should be fine, I''ll tell you if I feel uncomfortable.¡±

    ¡°Alright, how do we do this?¡± At her question, I grab my mobile and search for it. With a glance at the time, I realize it''s like three in the morning. Wow, early...

    I find a number of pages and skim them until I land on one that looks like the directions Ken followed.

    ¡°Here,¡± I hand her my mobile, ¡°Ken did this for me and it really helped.¡±

    She nods, looking it over quickly, before she grabs another towel to throw on the bed, and has me lie down.

    Just like with Ken, it''s a bit stop and go, with some of the spots not accomplishing much, but others are absolutely wonderful. Maybe the best part: I actually feel safe in Leona''s hands. Especially with how I''m lying here, naked, covered in blood, and she''s touching me in pretty intimate places. At least here, with her, my body is mine. Here, I have some control. That knowledge is probably the biggest help I could possibly receive right now.

    It takes a whole lot of time and effort for Leona to relieve my cramps with how awful I feel and all the stress and fear I can''t shake hanging over me.

    But it does help. When she''s finished, I think I can breathe a little easier. The lessened pain also just improves my mood all on its own, surprise surprise.

    ¡°Seiko, you should probably get washed up. Then we can get some food, sound good?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I should probably stop bleeding all over my new room.¡± At least I''m in a good enough mood for jokes now. When I stand up though, I realize it''s not exactly a joke. There are a number of bloody towels in the hamper, some on the bed that I was just lying on, a couple dark spots that look like drops on the floor, and when I open the door into the wash room, I''m met with a small dried puddle from when I just sat on the floor earlier.

    Note to self, don''t deal with periods by walking around naked...

    I get in the shower, letting the hot water run over me. I use a little soap and scrub at my thighs, working to get the dried blood off, then clean myself between my legs, just like the doctor taught me. God, there are so many hard parts to being a girl I never really thought of before. And as much as some of them suck, there''s a part of me that''s... strangely happy despite everything. Like, somehow getting to experience these pains as a woman is... a good thing? Like it tells me that yes, I really am a girl, no matter what those horrible people say. What a weird feeling...

    I take a nice shower, washing my hair and body, and coming out probably a little more light headed than I should be. Should have drank more water...

    I do that now, another long drink from the tap, and it helps. When I walk out into my room though, Leona is gone.

    ¡°Hmm?¡± I pick up my mobile, finding a text waiting. Oh, she teleported back to her room, to wait for me to call her over. I text her to let her know I''m out of the shower, and use my time to put in a tampon again so I don''t destroy any more of my clothes or room, then get dressed in some random, baggy guy clothes, with a big hoodie. I still have no idea how anyone will react, so I''m just... going to keep things inconspicuous until school starts.

    Keeping my body more covered up also makes me feel a little safer...

    When there''s a knock on my door, I open it, greeting Leona as if she wasn''t actually here all night, and we head out together. We''re in no mood to cook, so we leave the dorm. I swear, the dorm monitor gives us the worst stink eye, leaving at three thirty in the morning like this.

    I don''t care, my life has gone completely sideways at this point. We take a shuttle to some side of the road auto-restaurant, open all hours of the day, and order pancakes and eggs. It''s food I probably could make myself now, but I don''t care. It''s warm and it fills my empty, somewhat woozy stomach.

    I''m just glad a massage and hot shower eased the worst of my cramps. I still don''t eat that much, but what I do is tasty and helps me relax and be happy for a while. I end up snoozing contentedly against Leona''s side, right there at the table. When she eventually rouses me, we return to the school.

    <hr>

    We head up to our room together. To start, we clean up any blood left around and bring all the towels downstairs to wash. There''s only one girl up at the time, who tries very hard not to look at the pile of bloody towels we''re carrying.

    Once they''re washed and dried, it''s about time. We return to our room. I get dressed in my female uniform. It''s mostly the same, except I don''t have to put on a tie. The ribbon is already part of the shirt collar. The style of the shirt is a little different from the men''s, but I''m still feeling really self-conscious, so I decide to wear the vest too. It covers the slight curve of my breasts and makes me feel a bit more safe.

    The biggest difference is the skirt. I''ve mostly only worn them a couple times at the cosplay cafe, and when I bought a couple. I haven''t actually had a chance to wear them since. So now, I swish back and forth a few times, experimentally.

    ¡°Seiko, higher, and tuck you shirt in,¡± Leona advises, helping me get it into position like it should be, tightened up around my waist, rather than down on my hips. It raises the bottom hem of the skirt a good deal above my knees though...

    ¡°I''m not going to show anything, am I?¡± I ask nervously. The simple consideration sends a flicker of that memory flitting through my head. The old man, my pants down, the pain, and tears start to form before I clench my teeth. Force myself to breathe. Can''t think about that now...

    Leona doesn''t notice though, since she''s leaning down pretty low to the ground to check, before looking up and shaking her head.

    ¡°As long as they don''t flip your skirt or something, it should be fine.¡± Just the possibility makes me shudder. Come on, have to keep it together... I turn my attention to packing my stuff in my bag so I don''t throw up again. Among my new things are my new gym clothes, and Leona reminds me to take my tampons, since I''ll need them. In my own bag now, instead of hers.

    There''s... no real hiding anything now, huh...

    Once I''m packed, I get all freshened up, washing my face and steadying myself so I''m ready for the day, and we head out early. My cramps have mostly settled down after relaxing, which is great, and I''m feeling a tiny bit more confident. Just have to keep pushing forward and stay positive. We trek over to the school, right to the infirmary to meet the doctor.

 Chapter 45

    Doctor Belinda is waiting in the infirmary when we arrive.

    ¡°So, Maka-chan, how are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Nervous, excited... scared, kind of crampy...¡± I kind of just ramble as they come to me. ¡°I don''t know, how do you think this will go?¡± It can''t possibly go worse than yesterday. No, I''m trying not to think about that right now...

    ¡°That''s hard to say. My hope is that most of the staff won''t care one way or the other and you won''t see much change on that front. But there''s a good chance you''ll run into at least a couple who will give you trouble. I''m not sure what advice to offer for that one, whether trying to tough it out, just ignore them, or try to explain things. You''ll need to figure things out as they come.¡±

    Since there isn''t much more to talk about, we get going. We head over to the staff room, the doctor leading the way. Leona hangs back outside while we enter. There are already a number of staff and teachers present, getting ready for the day''s lessons.

    Standing at one end of the large office, the doctor claps her hands loudly a few times, startling a few of the more tired, dozing off instructors.

    ¡°Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement to make.¡± Her voice calls everyone out of sight, either behind things or from inside little cubicles, to come peeking at the commotion.

    ¡°You should have already been informed of this by the school administration, but frankly, I''m not expecting much out of Janice Monasta-san these days, so I''m here to tell you myself.¡±

    That has everyone''s attention. She gently pushes me a step in front of her, a hand each shoulder to keep me steady. ¡°This is Seiko Maka-chan. She has been enrolled as a male student for the last few months. Over the weekend, her records were updated to correctly reflect her gender.¡±

    An old man, not one of my teachers, or even anyone I recognize, speaks up from pretty far back in the room. ¡°Oh, he''s the tranny boy all the kids have been taking about.¡± When I flinch, the doctor gives me a reassuring squeeze.

    ¡°First off, that''s an offensive slur, using it in the workplace is a great way to find yourself in a meeting with Compliance. By the end of the day. Today.¡± There''s a pause, just long enough for that to start sinking in. ¡°Secondly, the correct term would be transgender. And third, Maka-chan is a girl, referring to her as a boy both is rude and insulting.¡±

    ¡°Uhh, but doesn''t he have a-¡±

    I see a flash of that man, my stomach turning. Just in time, the doctor cuts right over the female teacher that just spoke, her voice steely. ¡°I hope you weren''t about to start discussing the genitals of your students in public.¡± The woman goes bright red. ¡°I''d like to remind you all that Maka-chan is only sixteen years old. Any younger and you''d be talking about a minor. Again, Compliance.¡±

    There''s a short stretch of tense silence. Then the doctor pushes right on ahead. ¡°All in all, there won''t be much change. Just continue with your jobs as usual, alright?¡± There are a few murmurs, some displeased, but others are uncaring. Because my gender doesn''t affect their lives. Hell, half of them aren''t my teachers and never see me anyway.

    ¡°Dolan-san, you''re Maka-chan''s homeroom teacher, could you reintroduce her to her class today?¡± the doctor calls out when she spots him, walking us over. ¡°I''ll be along as well.¡±

    The man''s response though... He waves a hand, not even looking at us. ¡°Don''t care, too much effort. Do it yourself.¡± He has these huge bags under his eyes, and I can smell the faint tinge of alcohol still coming off him.

    He usually seems at least presentable by homeroom, so it''s a surprise he''s so trashed. ¡°Fine,¡± the doctor sighs, clearly losing interest in the slovenly man.

    We leave the staff office while everyone returns to their work, Leona waiting to greet us outside.

    ¡°How did it go?¡±

    The doctor smiles thinly. ¡°Not too bad, most seemed fine, and we didn''t run into any outright hostility, which is a big plus.¡±

    After that, we split up, since we still have about a half hour or so before we have to go. I head to the cafeteria with Leona for more food, since breakfast was at like three in the morning and won''t hold us until lunch. So we eat a second breakfast, trying our best to ignore the few others who show up early, all eyeing me and whispering.

    ¡°So, the whole school kind of heard already, after what Monasta-san pulled,¡± Leona explains, and I can only nod since I already picked up on that. But she goes on. ¡°You were... well, after everything with that man-¡± I don''t miss her whole frame tense, fingers clenching into claws when she mentions him, ¡°-you were non-responsive. Pretty much the entire girl''s dorm saw us on the way up to your new room. You looked like death, it was pretty ugly.¡±

    ¡°I see...¡± Yeah, I completely shut down after that, I don''t know what they said or how they responded. Maybe it''s better not to know...

    When the time comes, we return to the infirmary to pick up the doctor. Then it''s off to class. We make sure to arrive after everyone else. After the bell, and the homeroom teacher. Leona gives me a hug, then heads in so she isn''t a distraction.

    And... it''s time. Trying to hold down my anxiety and full-body trembles, I walk into the classroom. Everyone goes silent. All eyes are on me, roving up and down my new uniform and my legs, which I''m suddenly acutely aware, are bare for the first time in class. Which some other part of me says is silly because I wore shorts in gym.

    The sleepy teacher who still looks on the lower end of presentable, waves a lazy hand in my general direction, like that''s supposed to mean something.

    Coming in right after me, the doctor addresses the staring class. ¡°Good morning, I''m the school''s doctor. Today, I''ve come to reintroduce Seiko Maka-chan.¡±

    As soon as she says that, there''s a snicker, followed by an instantaneous pause.

    They aren''t all about to laugh, are they? That memory plays across my mind in the span of a moment. For an instant, I''m five years old again, about to get laughed out of the room on my very first day of kindergarten. I''m going to panic, or cry, or probably both.

    Then, that fleeting moment passes, and nothing happens. I''m... still fine. For at least a little longer. It won''t be a repeat of last time. The doctor keeps speaking.

    ¡°Maka-chan is transgender. That means she was assigned male at birth, but she is actually female. As such, she previously attended as a male student. Over the weekend, she updated her enrollment to correct the error, so now she will be joining you as a female student. I hope you''ll continue to get along with her.¡±

    Then the doctor turns, meeting my eyes with the briefest of glances, and walks out of the room. Once out the door, out of sight of the students, she gives me a big, silent thumbs up, before closing the door.

    I stand briefly, lost. All the eyes are making my anxiety return and my insides throb. I press a hand to my stomach, willing it to leave me alone, at least for now. I glance at the homeroom teacher, but he''s not bothering to do anything, calling the class to attention, shooing me to my seat, nothing. Is he... asleep?

    Then the first hand goes up. It''s a girl in the third row with curly blue hair. ¡°Bolton-san?¡± I call on her, trying not to let my voice shake too much.

    ¡°So, I don''t get it. Are you saying that you want to be a girl, or that you are a girl? How could the doctor get it wrong?¡±

    That... the way she''s asking, it isn''t an insulting question or anything. It comes as a relief, so I answer, ¡°I am a girl. The doctor got it wrong because their method for determining gender is a shortcut that doesn''t always work.¡± There are a few questioning sounds, so I add, ¡°Search like, ''PEP gender soul'' if you want more info on it.¡± I release a short breath, I think I have my shakes under control.

    A guy in the back raises his hand but doesn''t wait before speaking up. ¡°So what, you''re saying you ''soul'' is female or something? Who cares about that? I don''t want a girl with a dick!¡± I flinch, fingers clutching against the fabric of my top as I stare at the floor and try not to dry heave. Why is it always about that...?

    ¡°You don''t have to worry about that, like Sei''d ever date an asshole like you!¡± Ken''s shout draws my gaze back up. He''s half standing in his seat, with a grin just for me, that says he''s got my back.

    ¡°Yeah, at least Ken-san has a girlfriend!¡± Lucy joins in. ¡°Learn how to treat a woman before you mouth off! Right Amari?¡±

    ¡°Wha-? Y-yeah!¡± Amari squeaks.

    There are more remarks from a bunch of other girls in the class about him being a dick, which has him fighting an angry blush, before he sits back down.

    But then Zeke stands and speaks, lips turned up into a sneer and both hands pressed into the top of his desk as he leans toward me. He holds eye contact, even though he''s addressing everyone else. ¡°Hey girls, Seiko being undatable is one thing, but you''re the ones who have to share a changing room and shower with him now.¡±

    The whole class goes quiet again, looks of disgust and actual fear crossing the faces of the girls in class. Tears start to slip from my eyes. I''m never going to be accepted, am I?

    ¡°Oh come on,¡± Lucy comes to the rescue again. ¡°Seiko-chan has been changing in the toilets and skipping the showers for months because she''s the one who''s uncomfortable!¡±

    A girl on the end, near the hall, stands up, a hand pressed to her chest indignantly. ¡°Who cares? Just because he''s uncomfortable with the boys, we have to let him into our spaces? How is that fair to us?¡±

    Leona finally stands from her seat, turning an angry glare across the class as they all cringe away. ¡°Did none of you see Seiko on the way into the dorm yesterday?¡± There are grimaces and nods all around. If they didn''t see it, they heard about it. ¡°The things Seiko had to do,¡± she hisses, ¡°the trauma and humiliation Seiko went through just to get the school administration''s approval, would leave any one of you scarred for life.¡±

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    Just thinking about it again, I wrap my arms around myself, starting to crouch down to the floor. I can''t take any more of this...

    ¡°What, did they make him cut his dick off? I know I''d be humiliated,¡± Zeke jeers. ¡°You think you''re a girl? Show us your pussy then!¡± I''m starting to lose track of the voices, my vision going dark around the edges.

    There''s a stomp, right in front of me, and I jump in shock, before looking up to see Leona right in front of me. There''s a small haze of indigo fading from around her as she looks down and meets my gaze.

    But that''s all I have time for, with my rolling stomach, I already feel it coming. I run from the room. I barely make it to the toilet before I puke again. As I retch up everything inside me, my body''s futile attempt to make me feel better, I cry, and feel Leona holding my hair back as she speaks quietly in my ear.

    When I''m finally done, hollow and empty, I stay kneeling on the floor, sobbing. Why did it have to be like this? Why won''t anyone accept me?

    Why is that all anyone cares about?!

    Leona gently coaxes me up from the floor, gets me to wash out my mouth and tear-streaked face, then go back to class, where the first thing I notice at the door, after my still-staring classmates, is that Zeke is gone. I don''t really have the presence of mind to question where he went though, I just plod back to my seat.

    I huddle down on top of my desk, trying to ignore my cramps, and the feel of eyes, but neither is working. The best I can do is keep my tears silent as I bury my face in my arms and weep. This is the worst...

    <hr>

    Despite everything, I somehow manage to make it through my classes. For the most part, the teachers ignore me and go on with things as usual. On breaks, I''m surprised when Jen hesitantly touches my hair again. It''s the first time she''s touched me since that. I''m not sure how to feel about it, but... it''s helping right now, so I let her. The tiny bit of comfort and relaxation goes a long way.

    At lunch, Leona brings me to the cafeteria to get more food, since my stomach is seriously growling after throwing up earlier. Of course, I''m so woozy and sick from pain that I hardly manage more than nibbling on the food she gets me, but it''s something...

    After that, we go to the infirmary for more pain meds because I clearly need them. While there, I change my tampon, since I won''t have to worry about anyone else in the toilet there.

    God, I''m so nervous, I almost throw up the lunch I just ate, how long until the pills kick in...?

    <hr>

    Our afternoon classes come and go. The medicine definitely takes the edge off of my cramps for most of it. The only hiccup is in history class, when the teacher mentions an old, mandatory military draft for a past war, which only men needed to worry about. Then offhandedly tags on, ¡°Too bad, Maka-san.¡±

    It''s so sudden, I stare at him, the rest of the lesson lost as that sinks in, and I try to hide my burning face in my textbook.

    When we''re reaching the end of the day, it''s time for gym class. I grab my bag and stand, but when I turn to go, all the other girls are glaring at me. ¡°Like I could change with all of you...¡± I grumble under my breath, a hand squeezing at my abdomen. It''s been a few hours, I think the pain meds are wearing off.

    Their eyes follow me all the way out of the room. I go to the toilet with Leona. She reminds me to use the right one. Apparently, I puked in the men''s toilet earlier. I must have run there on habit.

    Just going into the right toilet makes me nervous, what about the other girls? They won''t say anything, will they? As soon as we enter, there are a few girls inside, standing at the sinks, and I freeze. They''re from another class, but everyone knows me already, so their eyes lock straight onto me, but when they see Leona glaring daggers, they don''t say anything.

    She stands outside my stall while I struggle to change. The stalls in the women''s room are definitely more narrow than the ones in the men''s room...

    Even just pulling on my gym clothes, I feel exposed. All I have is the off-white gym shirt and my short little gym shorts. Why are they so much smaller and tighter than the guys'' shorts...? Even just showing off the shape of my body makes me anxious now. Everyone''s going to stare...

    I shuffle out of the stall, keeping my gaze down, but I can''t miss the girls'' eyes snapping straight to my chest. I pull my bag up to cover myself and quickly head out.

    Everyone''s waiting outside, and I get a whole round of compliments from all my friends. ¡°Thanks, guys...¡± I mumble, blushing and feeling just a tiny bit better. Why can''t everyone be like them?

    We have to rush down to the gym like usual. It wouldn''t be such an issue if I didn''t have to change after everyone else... When we get to the gym, I sit down on the floor with the girls, panting lightly. I know exercise is supposed to help, but even walking fast hurts right now...

    It doesn''t help that the entire class, teachers and students, and even the boys collected on the other side of the gym, are all staring at me. I huddle closer between Leona, Lucy, and Amari, and even Jen moves in behind me, putting herself between me and the gawking boys.

    Despite the staring, the teacher manages to get class started before too long. We''re doing gymnastics again this week, so everyone drags out soft mats, setting them out on the hard faux-wood floor. On the other side, the guys are playing handball. Once the mats are set out, the teacher pairs everyone up.

    ¡°Maka-san, you''ll be with Rekka-san.¡± Since I''m the shortest in class, I get paired up with the second shortest girl, someone from class D. Even she has a few centimeters on me. She has a face full of freckles and kind of orangy-reddish hair in bunchy curls. She''s extremely slim and small, a build a lot like mine. Even her breasts aren''t much bigger than mine, is she also a late bloomer?

    ¡°Ugh, the tranny?¡± Those are the first words out of her mouth as she scowls at me. I flinch away from her, but the teacher only shrugs.

    ¡°Hey, I don''t make the rules. If they say to treat him like a girl, that''s what I''ll do,¡± and waves a hand over her shoulder while she wanders away. That''s it?!

    ¡°Fuck, fine, whatever,¡± Rekka continues to glower at me. ¡°If you do anything pervy, I''ll kick you in the balls.¡± I don''t have any and I feel like shit...

    When I look around, trying to figure out what to do, I immediately realize the problem. They''re all... touching each other...

    Ok, that shouldn''t be surprising, we''re doing pair stretches, but the thought of touching this... person... I cringe when she walks over, scowling and reaching for me.

    I flinch away on reflex, skittering back and away from her hands. I am not comfortable letting her touch me. ¡°Maka-san, what are you doing?¡± she growls and reaches out more aggressively this time. I go into immediate retreat.

    ¡°I-I''m-¡± I shake my head. I do the only thing I can think of. I rush over to the teacher, trying not to cry. ¡°S-sorry, Erra-san, can I, umm, change partners?¡±

    The teacher looks down and sighs at me. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I have, umm, touch issues...¡± I practically whisper the last part. When she gives me a dull, disbelieving look, I gulp, knowing what I have to do. I offer her a shaking hand. She holds the same expression as she takes it, the movement practically automatic.

    Then her eyes go wide. I know it''s a lie and an excuse, but if it gets me out of this... The teacher soon draws her hand back, a slightly disturbed expression touching her face.

    ¡°Alright then...¡±

    ¡°Could I partner with Lucy?¡± I ask, trying not to beg, ¡°she''s about my height.¡±

    ¡°Sure sure,¡± she agrees, blinking a few times, then calls, ¡°Miki-chan, Holton-chan, come over here.¡± I see the brown haired girl with braids, partnered with Lucy. She''s Erina Holton, from our class. She''s only a little taller than Lucy. She looks at me worriedly as the two girls stop their stretches and come over our way.

    When they ask, the teacher just says that she''s swapping partners around. I''ll be with Lucy, while Holton and Rekka will be together. We go off to one end of the mats.

    ¡°Thanks a lot, Lucy...¡±

    ¡°No problem, Seiko-chan.¡± She pats me on the shoulder. I shudder at the touch.

    ¡°Oh, sorry-¡± She starts to jerk her hand back, before I grab it. It feels good.

    ¡°No, it''s fine, just... sensitive. Rekka-san was...¡±

    ¡°Bitchy?¡± she gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze this time, and I nod. We make it to a spot with some space, and Lucy asks if I know what to do. When I shake my head, she starts to walk me through it.

    Pair stretches suck. Whether sitting or standing, the stretches rely on the other person serving as an anchor, pushing or pulling to get your muscles to stretch. In the guys'' class, we never did them, so I''m not nearly as flexible as Lucy is, and whenever she pushes, it just makes everything hurt worse.

    She goes really easy on me, but it''s still an excruciating experience. I need to start stretching regularly if I want to be anywhere near as flexible as the other girls. Just, maybe when I''m not on my period... And without everyone staring...

    Thankfully, the teacher calls the stretches to an end after a while. I''m already panting and feeling sick. But then we move into actual gymnastics exercises. She has us go back and forth across the mats, doing all sorts of moves the other girls have been doing since childhood, but I don''t even know what they are.

    There are different types of rolls, steps, balancing moves. I try to copy the movements on sight, but they''re completely new to me, and my balance is terrible. I can''t even move right because my entire abdomen is trying to eat itself. When I fail, it hurts worse. When I fall, it hurts worse. When the other girls laugh at me for falling, it hurts worse.

    Even the teacher is looking at me with open pity by the time I''m sitting on the ground, drenched in sweat and clutching at my stomach. I can barely breath, everything is pain. I want to cry.

    At last, the whistle blows to end the class. Everyone grabs the mats to put them away, while I kneel down, press my face to the floor, and wrap my arms around myself. I hear everyone else leaving, and of course there are worried remarks about me going into the showers. But I just stay like this.

    For a minute, I remain on the floor, squeezing tight and begging my body to just please have mercy. I hear someone sit next to me and assume it''s Leona like usual. ¡°Is it that bad?¡± she asks quietly, and I grumble an affirmative into the floor. ¡°Want a quick massage? We have to get going soon though, or we''ll be late for class.¡± Anything would be better than this, so I flop down, rolling onto my back.

    ¡°Please...¡± I beg at the ceiling. She leans over me and nods, doing it from memory. She only has the time to press into a few spots gently as I groan and cringe. Everything down there is so damn tender... Then the door from the guys'' shower room opens up, signaling the end of our time. We still need to change too, so we grab our bags, change in the toilet again, and hurry back to class as quickly as we can.

    Sitting back at my desk as everyone is pours into the room with the last minutes until class starts, I lie down across my desk. The teacher comes in and class starts not too long after.

    It''s life skills, and we''re back on sex-ed again. As I sit there, half my body on my desk and my arms hugged around myself, of course the topic winds up being details of reproduction, where he naturally gets into periods.

    Why now...?

    Some part of me wants to bludgeon myself with my desk. Having to listen to some man lecture us about how a girl''s period works while I suffer through my first one is too ironic. On average there''s what, like one or two other girls in here on theirs too?

    Just as he''s getting into it, he says, ¡°Menstruation is important because that''s how you know whether a woman can get pregnant. There are a few different parts of the cycle, women keep track of them. Maka-san, now that you''re a girl,¡± he chuckles, ¡°what part of your cycle are you on?¡±

    I blink when the question comes out of absolutely fucking nowhere. Somehow, my brain skips right over the obvious question about him actually asking that.

    ¡°I''m on my period,¡± I deadpan back at him, the words coming out of my mouth so fast, so automatic, I hardly hear myself say them.

    No shame or embarrassment even registers. I just hope it makes him uncomfortable. Share some of my misery. I glare at him for good measure.

    The class goes pin-drop silent for quite a while. The teacher doesn''t know how to respond. The other students probably don''t know what to think either. I wrap my arms around myself, thunk my head down on my desk, and wait for the guy to continue the lesson.

    He eventually manages it.

    He doesn''t address me again.

 Chapter 46

    When class ends, it''s time for last period. Since there isn''t anything much for the class to discuss, some people start packing up to leave. A lot of them though, they gather around me. My friends form a barrier so they can''t crowd me, but it doesn''t stop them from asking questions.

    ¡°Maka-san, why''d you decide to be a girl?¡± one starts.

    ¡°I didn''t,¡± I grouch, ¡°I told you, I''ve always been a girl, it just took a long time to figure it out.¡±

    ¡°Why? Shouldn''t something like that be really obvious?¡± Marissa Bolton asks this time.

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I grumble. ¡°I... don''t really want to talk about it...¡± I wouldn''t be comfortable talking about my relationship with my misogynist father in front of all these people, even on a good day...

    When they don''t get anywhere with that, one guy asks, ¡°So, how are you a girl if you''ve already had sex with girls?¡± The other guys start nodding as if that makes perfect sense, but the girls look disgusted. I''m not sure if it''s directed at me or the guys, but I join them, and glare at the one who asked the question.

    ¡°How many times do I have to tell you people? That never happened. Those rumors are fucking stupid,¡± I growl. Somehow, they all look surprised by my response. ¡°What? You guys really believed I had sex with some of my best friends? Who even does that?!¡±

    That finally has them all back off a bit, abashed and awkward momentarily.

    ¡°Why are you so mad?¡± a girl in the back pipes up.

    ¡°Because today sucks! I''m stressed and everything hurts and everyone''s watching my every move and I have no idea what bullshit the administration is going to throw at me next!¡±

    ¡°Hey, Maka-san.¡± When someone calls my name, I''m almost ready to bite their head off before I realize it''s Folle, the class rep. He''s trying to part the crowd so he can see me.

    ¡°You have been having a hard time lately, sorry I came after you a couple times about the uniforms and everything. I didn''t know so much was going on that you weren''t talking about. Is there anything else you''d like to tell us so we can try to be accommodating?¡±

    That... is actually really considerate. Somewhat dumbfounded, I repeat the thought aloud. Then, shake my head to clear it. ¡°Thanks, Folle-san. But I, umm, think I''m fine for now. All I could really ask is that you all treat me like a human being, not some sort of interesting science experiment...¡± Because that''s kind of what this feels like, everyone surrounding me, examining me, asking all these personal questions...

    ¡°Alright, I''ll keep that in mind.¡± He scratches his chin and nods before backing out from the crowd.

    Soon after, the bell rings and I leave with Leona. ¡°Are you up for a checkup today?¡± she asks uncertainly once we''re in the hall. That reminds me, Mejja told her to get back to it by Wednesday while I was breaking down last night.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m feeling better, but what about my energy level? I didn''t burn any off today.¡± She must have been going easy on me after last night.

    ¡°Let''s do what we can. Do you feel well enough to exercise though?¡±

    ¡°It could always be worse,¡± I sigh. I hope she''ll give me another massage later...

    When Leona climbs up on my back, I frown. Even with all the pain, Leona''s weight alone isn''t enough to make me strain anymore.

    ¡°Umm...¡± When I hesitantly point that out, she frowns.

    ¡°I see, you really are strong, Seiko... Give me a minute, I''ll go get more weight for you.¡± She runs off toward the dorms, flying out of sight, and I wait briefly. I''m especially nervous being alone now of all days, but I''m standing outside one of the less used doors and there''s no one else around.

    Leona returns quickly, just like she said, carrying one of my larger hand weights. It feels way heavier than it should. I really want to burn off the rest of this energy and get my full strength back...

    This time, she climbs up while holding the weight, the extra mass heavy enough that I have to push myself again.

    Forcing my body to run laps around the school building hurts like hell, but also eases my cramps somewhat, however that works. I keep going until my legs are ready to give out, and I feel like I''m suffocating inside my vest.

    As soon as we get to the infirmary and I drop Leona back to the ground, the vest comes off. I take a nice, long drink of water before flopping down on a bed.

    ¡°So, how was the big day, Maka-chan?¡± Doctor Belinda asks.

    ¡°It was¡­ Honestly, not quite as bad as I was worried about. I mean, some people said some shitty things, and my classmates asked a lot of personal questions, but no one outright attacked me or anything. I just wish my period would give me a break, I''m way too stressed right now¡­¡± And what about the other girls? Will they eventually ease up around me...?

    ¡°Yeah, unfortunately that''s just one of the things you have to get used to. It comes when it wants and all you can do is live with it.¡±

    ¡°Birth control is an option,¡± Leona suggests while she''s getting ready.

    ¡°It is, it tends to ease some of your period symptoms,¡± the doctor explains. ¡°However, it does have its own side effects. I''d rather see how Maka-chan does for the first few months with her natural hormone levels. And when she isn''t so unbelievably stressed.¡±

    Leona nods in silent agreement to the doctor''s plan, then climbs up on the bed. She pins me and checks my energy level, and it''s not great. Just carrying her around a bit didn''t do too much. But it''ll have to do. But... it feels like she''s actually starting to put in effort to keep me pinned when I push up against her hands. Whatever the case, she gets started.

    When Leona presses her hand into my abdomen, it hurts and feels good at the same time. It looks like she''s going to pull back when I wince, so I tell her I''m fine, I don''t want to mess her up. I try to keep breathing despite the heavy, pressing atmosphere that wants to turn me inside out.

    When Leona fills me with another rush of power, I clench my teeth, feeling the air itself shift and the bed sheets crackle at my pained, twitching shudders. It''s like-

    Gone. As always, it all fizzles away, almost too fast to comprehend. I sigh out a shuddering breath while Leona recovers, then works on sending the data off to Mejja. ¡°Hey, Leona?¡± I ask when she looks like she''s done. She turns back, and I ask, ¡°Can you help me with some stuff? I never got to do gymnastics, so I''m really far behind, I''m like, not flexible at all and, well, you saw today...¡± I blush, not able to meet her eyes.

    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

    I don''t want to admit it, but it feels like being bad at these things, the kind of stuff that''s expected of girls like basic balance and flexibility... It makes me feel like less of a girl than the others.

    It''s just... they all laughed at me for it, and I can''t shake the thought that that''s what they were all thinking as they watched me fail. Like, ''haha, he can''t do it because he''s not really a girl.'' Just the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don''t even want to imagine them thinking things like that about me...

    ¡°Sure, that''s fine.¡± Leona thankfully agrees to my request. ¡°When do you want to start? When you''re off your period?¡±

    ¡°Oh, well, I was kind of thinking as soon as I can, but it would hurt a lot, wouldn''t it...?¡± Can I really take another what, two or three days of them all laughing and making fun of me while I fail my way through everything?

    I bite my lip. Part of me wants to ask for a massage. I know it would make me feel better, but another part of me is saying that I can''t just keep asking her for this. I don''t want to be that selfish...

    ¡°Seiko, I could give you a massage, how does that sound?¡± Leona suddenly offers. Did she just read my mind?

    ¡°S-sure... I umm, I can do the same for you, you know... when you''re on your period...¡± I try to offer, as awkward as I feel. I have to at least try to make up for everything she does for me.

    ¡°Sounds good. Now, if you lie down... Actually, can you take your skirt off?¡±

    ¡°M-my skirt?¡± I stutter. Clearly realizing what she said a moment late, Leona''s cheeks glow slightly pink.

    ¡°Sorry, what I meant was, you''ll want to change into your gym clothes because you can''t do gymnastics in a skirt, and it kind of gets in the way for a massage, so you could take it off for the massage, then put on your gym shorts after. But it''s not actually necessary,¡± she pulls back, ¡°if you just flip the front up, I can get to your pelvis without any trouble.¡± Wow, it sounds like she skipped a whole bunch of steps in her head, which is why it sounded so bad coming out of her mouth.

    ¡°W-well...¡± It''s not like I have an issue with her seeing or touching me. I trust her with my body. I let her give me a massage buck naked. But that was back in our room, in private. The infirmary isn''t exactly a private place, and even if the doctor isn''t butting into our conversation, she''s totally listening to everything we say.

    ¡°Sure, fine.¡± I end up trying to play it off coolly, like it doesn''t worry me at all. ¡°It''ll make changing easier anyway.¡± Still trying not to let my nerves show, I unbutton my skirt and pull it off. That leaves me in nothing but my still somewhat disheveled top and a pair of plain bluish panties. Not exactly a helpful state of dress when I''m trying to relax...

    I try to ignore that and lie my head back while Leona gets to work. She''s done this a couple times and has somewhat started to learn which pressure points work best for me, but she still has to refer back to some instructions on her mobile repeatedly. I hardly notice though, each touch and press, whether gentle or firm, chips away at my aching cramps.

    Leona works for a few minutes, and I make sure to communicate, let her know what works and what doesn''t. Help her learn all the most effective places and the best way to do it. When I sigh and call for her to stop, she does so immediately. It actually makes me feel bad, the way she practically jumps off the bed to remove herself from my personal space when she does.

    ¡°A-ah, not like that,¡± I wave my hand frantically. ¡°I''m not uncomfortable, I actually feel a lot better. I was just thinking that we could probably stop here.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± she sighs, ¡°that''s a relief. I thought that last spot was a step too far and I made you uncomfortable.¡± It was right at my pantyline, but still...

    ¡°No, nothing like that,¡± I assure her. ¡°I''ll try to be more clear about that from now on, alright?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± With that settled, I quickly change into my gym clothes. We wave goodbye to the clearly bemused doctor, and head to the gym. I''m definitely feeling better. As usual after a massage, the throbbing pain is gone, just a little twinge of discomfort in its place. Now this I can deal with.

    I feel super awkward as soon as we reach the gym and see the men''s basketball team practicing. Even so, we grab a couple mats, laying them down out of the way, away from the section of the gym they''re using. Trying to ignore the guys and their watching gazes, Leona works me through the same stretches as we did in gymnastics, and more.

    There are actually a whole bunch of pair stretches, and it feels like she''s focusing on the ones that don''t rely on the partners being around the same height. Mostly ones that have me on my back, using her as an anchor to do different leg and torso stretches.

    She asks a number of times to ensure I''m still comfortable and it doesn''t hurt too much, especially in the more awkward or compromising positions, like the one where she presses on my knees to spread my legs open as wide as she can. I try to keep communicating, to let her know when I''ve reached my limit on any given stretch, but for the worst ones, I can hardly even breathe as my muscles scream at me, demanding I stop doing this to them.

    However, as Leona runs me through a number of different stretches and exercises, we do eventually repeat the same, or at least very similar stretches sometimes, and I do feel my muscles starting to accommodate. It''s clear it''ll take time, but I''m sure I can make progress with this. I can catch up to the other girls if I really try.

    Leona continues helping me stretch for a lot longer than I was expecting ¨C after all, we only did it for a few minutes in class. She must go on for at least fifteen or twenty minutes now, probably longer. When she does finish, I stand back up, kind of wobbly. Then she takes me through a handful of exercises, the bare basics, so I can start training my miserable balance. She keeps her arms out for me while I try to stand on one foot, and end up flailing and wobbling.

    But she keeps me upright, and bit by bit, like stretching, I begin to get used to it. I start to feel heavy though, spending so much time on just one foot like this. I''m getting tired.

    ¡°Le-¡±

    ¡°Watch out!¡± at the shout, I turn, just in time for a basketball to sail straight-

    It misses. Skims right past my cheek before I can respond at all, bouncing off the mat, then into the wall right behind me. The springy rubber sound marks it thumping away again across the gym floor. I keep looking ahead, to the guy practically sprinting toward us.

    ¡°A-are you alright? Shit, I''m sorry!¡± He looks so panicked, it actually distracts me for a moment from the fact that I nearly just got nailed in the face with that ball.

    ¡°Y-yeah, I...¡± my hand comes up to my cheek automatically. ¡°...Fine...¡± I think it barely grazed my skin a little. I shake myself, watching him sag slightly with relief. Being a basketball player, I''m not surprised by how tall he is, but he''s kind of scrawny and lanky, so he''s not too scary looking.

    ¡°Good, I''m really sorry about that.¡± As soon as he''s confirmed no one''s hurt, he glances over to the guys waiting, then waves and runs off to grab the ball. I slowly exhale, sinking into Leona''s still-outstretched arms. Ok, I think that rattled me a bit.

    ¡°Are you alright?¡± Leona asks me again, once the guy has run off.

    ¡°Yeah. Yeah, I''m fine, just startled. And tired.¡± Right, that''s what I was saying. ¡°Before- You know, before that, I was going to say I''m getting tired, so we should stop here for today.¡±

    ¡°That sounds good, Seiko.¡± We put the mats back up in the corner of the gym, then Leona points over at the shower room. ¡°Shower here, or back at the dorm?¡±

    I pause, considering it. Now that everyone knows, I don''t have to worry about using the showers anymore, do I? And they''re empty after school, so no other girls to worry about. ¡°...Sure.¡± I''m not a hundred percent certain, but I don''t want to never be able to use the girls'' showers. I''m a girl and I have the right, just like everyone else.

    We head into the shower room. I had my hair tied up for working out, but it got kind of messy, so I retie it before I strip and get in the shower. Besides some lockers and toilets, the main section of showers is just a couple walls, each with rows of showerheads all along. I take one all the way on the end so Leona can stand nearby, keeping an eye out in case of anything happening.

    Nothing does though, I finish up quickly and towel off. I change my tampon and pull on clean underwear, but only have my uniform to put on. It''s not too sweaty because Leona didn''t have me working out all day, but in the future, I should bring a change of clothes with me too...

 Chapter 47

    On Tuesday, I quickly realize that I''m finally at the end of my period, my flow tapering off as my cramps ease up, and by the end of the day, I feel way better. Shit, I have to do that every month from now on?

    Once I''m past that, I keep up with things, school, homework, my friends, and my new after school exercises.

    Even with a body handed to me on a silver platter, I still have to put in a lot of work to make up for the years I missed, all the normal girl experiences I never got to have. As the week goes on, it''s hard and there are a few times where I feel overwhelmed, and I have to stop and breathe. Or cry. It does get a little better though. After a few more days and a few more too-personal questions from my classmates, it kind of feels like the guys are getting used to the changes. It''s not like this has any significant impact on their lives after all.

    A lot of them still refer to me like a guy though. I''m not sure if there''s any way to fix that, but at least a few of them, like Folle, are understanding and seem to accept me.

    The girls are another story. They generally keep their distance and seem wary, even though I continue to avoid them, changing in the toilets and refusing to shower with them. On Wednesday, when I''m no longer collapsed on the floor after gym class from period pains, I finally do go in the showers.

    They all glare holes through me, even as I look pointedly away. Even if I''m attracted to girls, what kind of creep would look at them while they''re trying to shower? I wouldn''t want anyone to look at me like that! Just the thought sends nauseous crawling feelings over my skin when I remember that old man... Scowling at the floor, I use an alternate block of showers on the other side of the wall to get washed off.

    It goes the same on Thursday, but on Friday...

    After I tie my hair back and dump my sweaty gym clothes, I turn on the shower. I think I''ve gone through most of my uniforms, so I should wash them tonight. While I''m thinking that, I glance one eye to the side when the next shower over turns on. Leona stands under it. I pause for just a moment.

    Seeing her naked is... it''s weird. Obviously I try not to ogle her, but just like with Ken, I can''t avoid seeing anything. Especially when there''s just... so much. She''s so tall, with big boobs and those strong, toned arms and slightly tanned, bronzy skin.

    Besides her long legs which she probably only shaves because we wear skirts, the rest of her body hair is trimmed and neat, but she obviously has no interest in being clean shaven, the same way she doesn''t bother with hair care.

    She looks like some kind of warrior goddess, with her short chopped blue-black hair that she runs her hands through under the hot water, flicking droplets away as she visibly relaxes. She is fucking gorgeous.

    And I''m not attracted to her at all.

    I don''t really get it myself. I''m sure all of the things she has are things that I like in a woman. Hell, besides the short hair, I''d love to be her. All that feminine beauty, packed into a powerful, ''don''t fuck with me'' frame...

    More than anything, it reminds me how she told us before, that she doesn''t like her body. Why is that? Of course given my situation, I briefly consider the possibility of her being trans like me, but I''ve already seen her PEP scans, so I immediately discard the idea. So... why? What is there not to like?

    Does she wish she was smaller and more dainty? But she doesn''t act dainty at all. Is she trying to fit her appearance, but she wants to act differently? Or... a lot of her appearance, like those muscles, are from her time in the military. Does she only act the way she does because of her military training? Was she different before that?

    Thinking about this, I''m reminded again that Leona never talks about herself. I have all these questions, things I want to ask, but it''s like she has this wall up that stops me from asking. Like I had childhood issues I was repressing, is she doing that too? Do I really want to put her back through it by asking about her past?

    I... don''t know. Maybe that''s why I''m not attracted to her. I see her as Leona first, and a woman second. And ''Leona'' is still a massive question mark. I want to know more, but I don''t want to hurt her by asking.

    Returning my thoughts from the woman next to me to my own shower, I look down. I like my body, even if there''s still room for improvement. Besides growing naturally, my (honestly really intense) after school training exercises have already started helping with my flexibility and balance, and I''m not a constant miserable failure in class. I''m still bad, but the other girls, and even the teacher, have noticed my improvement in just the last week alone.

    ¡°I wonder if I''m a B-cup now...¡± I murmur absentmindedly under my breath, as I wash away the sweat on my breasts. They feel bigger... I think. It''s always so hard to tell since I see them every day.

    I wipe up and down my arms and turn-

    Girl.

    A frightened squeak escapes my mouth and I stumble backward when I see the girl peeking around the side wall at me. My arms jerk, covering my privates, tears already stinging in my eyes. She was looking right at me, at my body. Just like that man.

    Leona is there in an instant, placing herself between us.

    She barks, ¡°What are you doing?!¡±

    ¡°I-I-I- Sorry!¡± The girl flails her hands in panic, but she doesn''t look that sorry. That''s when I see it''s Marissa Bolton, from our class. ¡°I just, umm...¡± While she''s being flustered, I grab my bag and rapidly throw my uniform back on as fast as I can to cover myself, skipping my underwear entirely.

    ¡°I was just... kind of curious...¡± she''s saying, like that''s any sort of excuse. ¡°But you- If you look like that, then why...¡±

    ¡°Because I don''t owe you my body!¡± I cry, ¡°I shouldn''t have to show you fucks my pussy to earn your acceptance!¡± I storm past her. ¡°Creep!¡± I shout back, loud enough for all to hear, and slam through the exit door.

    I stand outside in the gym, shaking and crying and trying to ignore the couple guys staring at me from across the gym. I''m dressed in just my shirt and skirt, still soaking wet, until Leona rushes out seconds after me, half dressed herself so she flashes half the gym because she''s still pulling on her shirt when she appears.

    We both dry off and finish changing in the infirmary, then I stay there through the end of school. I just... don''t have the will to go back to class after that. To deal with that girl telling everyone else about me. If the girls are suddenly fine with me, all because they want to gossip about my body ¨C what I have in my god damn pants ¨C then fuck them.

    If that''s how it is, I don''t want their toxic fucking acceptance.

    <hr>

    After the last bell, I''m still lying on the rest bed when Leona sits down next to me. ¡°Seiko, how are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Terrible.¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry, but...¡±

    ¡°No, it''s fine,¡± I sigh. ¡°Let''s just do it. I''m fine with you.¡± I tell her. ¡°I can trust my body to you at least.¡±

    Leona''s whole posture softens. ¡°Thanks Seiko. That means a lot, coming from you.¡±

    ¡°Does it?¡±

    ¡°Of course, just look at what you''ve been through. And how touch averse you are with everyone else,¡± she points out.

    ¡°Oh... huh.¡± I mumble. ¡°Good point.¡± I think I''m just being slow and dull, all my thoughts are still tied up with what happened. I can''t stop thinking about that day... ¡°Thanks, Leona.¡±

    ¡°I''m trying to thank you, Seiko,¡± she turns a crooked grin on me, and finally gets a little snort and smile for it.

    I sit up and take off my vest while Leona gets set up, dropping the mobile at the head of the bed. When she climbs on top of me, I relax. She checks my energy, reporting that we''ve managed to burn down a good bit over the last week. I''ve been working really hard during breaks, so I''m glad to hear that.

    She starts charging up, and at this point, the heavy weight of her power actually feels nice now, no longer suffocating. Almost like a massage, all over my body. I let out a long, slow breath, and pull up my shirt and bra for her.

    I can tell just from the glow in her eyes that she''s having an easier time now. She doesn''t need to build up so much power that it''s physically painful for her.

    And then the infirmary door opens. This has happened enough times over the past few months that it isn''t an instant panic moment anymore, but... this time is different. We aren''t all the way in the back, we''re on the bed I was resting on, a little to the right of the door, only about halfway back. When I glance, we didn''t even close the curtain. If Leona really glows like she says she does...

    All this because of that girl earlier, throwing off our usual routine.

    Even as the doctor rushes over to deal with the student, I know we''re screwed. A girl''s voice raises in surprise, and I see blue hair in my peripheral, but Leona has to let the built up power go, so I keep my eyes on her as she comes down, filling me with another flood of glowing indigo energy.

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    The instant she''s done, she rounds on the intruder, lurching up and off the bed. At the same time, I see her. Marissa Bolton. Again.

    Her eyes are on me. With a burn and rage and shame, I sit up, yanking my clothes back into place as fast as possible. She jolts, her entire body jumping and flinching back dramatically as she meets my gaze with eyes widened to the size of saucers.

    ¡°Leave me alone!¡± I shout at her. I don''t even understand what''s happening or why she''s here, I just want her to go away!

    ¡°Maka-chan, calm down,¡± the doctor tries to calm me as she catches up to the blue haired girl. Next to each other, the sky blue colors are pretty similar, the doctor''s the darker of the two.

    ¡°She was the creep from the showers!¡± I cry out, and the doctor grimaces, before turning a hard look at Bolton.

    ¡°Now, why would you do that?¡± she asks pointedly.

    Bolton''s eyes haven''t moved from me for an instant, even as the doctor spoke. She doesn''t even blink as she answers, ¡°Sorry, I didn''t mean to... It''s just, I read up on the stuff you told us about... It made me really curious...¡±

    ¡°So what, you think that means you can just watch me in the shower?¡± The fuck is wrong with her?!

    ¡°No! I mean, well... I...¡± She bites her lip and clutches at her skirt. Finally pulling her eyes off of me, Bolton actually bows down deeply. ¡°I''m sincerely sorry, Seiko Maka-san,¡± she''s extremely formal all of a sudden. ¡°I allowed my curiosity to get the better of me and I apologize. I didn''t mean to hurt you.¡±

    Her sincerity takes the edge off of my anger, however... ¡°So? You still did. Why? You just had to know? Had to see for yourself? How would you feel?¡±

    ¡°Eh?¡± she lifts her head a little.

    ¡°How would you feel if I told you I don''t believe you''re a girl, and the only way to prove it is for you expose yourself to me? Huh?!¡± Her mouth falls open a little, I think it''s finally sinking into her thick skull. Clenching the sheets in my fists, I scowl at her. ¡°Now, how do you feel if your entire life here depends on getting people like you to believe what you say? When all they care about if what''s between your fucking legs?! You haven''t even seen the trans dorms, have you?!¡±

    I squeeze my eyes shut, starting to curl up. I can''t do this.

    ¡°Bolton-san, how about you see for yourself.¡± I look up when Leona speaks. She''s glowing, brilliant indigo spilling out around her stoic face. The blue haired girl staggers back a step in panic and fear in the face of the psion.

    But Leona moves before Bolton can. With a deep breath, she lifts one foot, then stomps down. The world bursts, with a heavy color rolling over me, and girl is gone.

    <hr>

    <hr>

    <hr>

    -Point of View: Marissa Bolton-

    All at once, the blinding white glare vanishes. I have to blink repeatedly, my vision swimming and spotting like I just stared straight into the sun. When it finally clears and I can see again, I realize I''m somewhere else entirely. Neither Vicca nor Maka are here, or the doctor. What just happened?

    One look around says I''m in the dorms, but... The room I find myself in is smaller than a normal dorm, about half the size with only one bed. The place has a bare feel. The bed is made, but there''s nothing on the desk, the book shelves are empty, nothing on top of the dresser either.

    Still partly stunned, I open the top drawer and there are clothes inside. When I see they''re panties though, I quickly shut it again. Always too curious for my own good, I berate myself. That''s how I got into this mess in the first place...

    My thoughts are finally catching up, things falling into place.

    So... what, did Vicca send me here somehow? Can she teleport people? Is this Maka''s room? No, everyone saw her get her room in the girls'' dorm and she''s been in and out every day since. Impossible to miss when literally everyone is talking about it.

    Then whose room is this? I check the dresser again, a different drawer so I don''t feel quite so intrusive. There are some shirts inside, so I take one out, and it''s immediately clear it isn''t Maka''s. Way too big. I sigh, arms flopping down in front of me.

    I really screwed up, didn''t I? After reading up online about gendered souls like Maka said, I just... couldn''t help myself. Maka always looked like a girl, but she said that she was born male, and everyone believed she was male because of that rumor about her flashing someone at the beginning of the school year.

    And then there''s what she mentioned at the end, needing to prove herself... Followed by mention of the trans dorms? I bring a hand up, pressing it to my temple. I pull the pieces together. What Maka said today, what Vicca mentioned earlier in the week, about Maka proving herself to the school...

    Did Maka have to... show her genitals to the school administration? The thought makes me sick to my stomach. No wonder why she was livid when I peeked at her...

    She did that just to get a room in the dorms? To... avoid being put in the trans dorms? I fold up the large shirt in my hands and tuck it neatly away before looking around once more.

    This room, while it has the same furniture, isn''t the same as the other dorm rooms, at least not in the girls'' dorms, I can''t really say about the guys'' though. I mean right off the bat, it''s a single room. At first glance, that would be pretty nice, not being forced to live with a roommate. But also, it might be a little lonely, especially if there aren''t as many people around because, well, Maka is the only transgender student, as far as I''m aware.

    Which again, makes me question whose room this is... That shirt was really big. I''m not exactly the largest, but I''m at least average size, and it would be too big for me. So, female, very tall... Vicca? Wait, is Vicca transgender too? Is that why they''re always together? Or is it... whatever they were doing in the infirmary? I couldn''t see anything through Vicca''s blinding glow, but she was definitely on top of Maka, with her shirt off for some reason...?

    There are those rumors about Maka being a psion, and the way she... I don''t know, it looked like she glitched earlier. One moment she was lying down with her shirt off, and then she just... wasn''t. Like a video stream skipping when you have a bad signal. But there was no psionic glow, so what was that?

    Could it have to do with whatever Vicca was doing to her? Is Maka some sort of... psion test subject or something? Vicca has her doing those extreme workouts on breaks too...

    ...Why? Does it have anything to do with being trans? The research she had me look up talked about using a psionic energy scanner to find the gender of a soul, so... Could she have traded her body to them or something, for use as a test subject, in exchange for getting solid evidence of being female?

    But none of that explains her body. She was one hundred percent physically female in the shower earlier. Could it be...

    I pull out my mobile to search up the transgender information I was researching before, but there''s no signal here. That''s right, this room doesn''t have a window, so that means no sat signal...

    Just from memory, I think there are other places where people do all sorts of things to get their bodies to match their souls. I only saw various chemical and surgical treatments mentioned online, but you could do it with psionics, right? You can do literally anything with them, as long as you find the right psion. She even mentioned being on her period on Monday. Unless she was screwing with the teacher, not likely given how sick and in pain she looked all day, that means the changes are internal too. I wonder if that would be possible through the sort of methods I saw online?

    But... could Vicca even do that? She just sent me all the way across campus, doesn''t that mean her power is for teleporting people? Then that still leaves Maka a mystery.

    ¡°Ahh, the more I think about this, the more I want to know!¡± I groan. That''s the exact meddlesome curiosity that caused me to overstep my bounds earlier though. I wish I could ask Maka about it, but she must hate my guts after what I did to her!

    I sigh, hanging my head in defeat. All I can do is try to make things up to her, even if I have no idea how. Vicca was right, I don''t know how Maka could have come back to school with her head straight enough to function the day after being forced to expose herself like that. I''d probably hole myself up in my room for a week...

    All to avoid living... here? I think again, as I survey the room, more closely this time. I''m not seeing any difference in the furniture. Besides being bare, it looks just like what I have in my room. I sit on the bed and the mattress feels the same, then the chair. Same again. What about...

    ¡°Huh?¡± I falter when I turn to check the wash room and... don''t find one. I circle the room once more. Besides the door that I open, briefly peeking outside to be sure it leads to the hall, there are no other doors here for the wash room. How are they expected to wash up?

    I grimace at the obvious shortcoming of these dorms. Being forced to wash up in a communal room, like the bathroom, must be especially awkward for people who aren''t even happy with their bodies... That may not apply to Maka given her body now, but just designing it like this is pretty inconsiderate. How much trouble has the school been giving her?

    Having looked around this room as much as I can, I step out into the hall. I turn one way, then the other. ...Oh. That sick feeling returns to my stomach. I walk down the hall one way, then the other. Then I head down the stairs to the floor below, and check that one too.

    Those communal bathrooms? There are none. And no common rooms. No wash rooms. No kitchen. No laundry room.

    These dorms...

    There''s nothing here.

    Oh god, they were going to make her live here? This is downright inhumane... By the time I make it to the ground floor, nothing but narrow teal halls and a pair of tiny, barely habitable rooms on each side, I want to be sick. I hit the scanner to leave, but... nothing happens. I try a second time, but there''s no change.

    They don''t lock people in here or something, do they? I look at the door in front of me and realize why. It''s right there. You can only exit on the side you''re registered to? So this door exits into the men''s dorm. I''m so turned around from just appearing in here, I had no idea. I start toward the other side, but slow to a crawl along the way.

    Wait, if you can only go out on one side or the other, were they trying to force Maka to still use the men''s facilities, since they didn''t put any in here? Changes to her body or not, how could they expect her to bathe together with men? That''s just asking for her to get assaulted! I guess she could circle all the way around to the women''s side, but none of the girls accept her there either.

    Because all they care about is what''s between her legs...

    The more I think about it, the more grimy I feel. I did the exact same thing to her. I''m such a creep, no wonder why she hates me.

    I exit through the door into the girls'' dorm, and stop dead when the building monitor sitting right at the desk puts a hand up to stop me. Crap, I didn''t think about that.

    ¡°Hey, how did you get in there?¡± Of course they never saw me enter. What do I do?

    Best choice is always: play dumb. ¡°I have no idea.¡±

    ¡°W-what do you mean?¡± she looks astonished.

    Just playing it up, I look all around me. ¡°Am I in the dorms? How did I get here?¡±

    Now she''s starting to appear concerned. ¡°Where were you before?¡±

    I screw up my face, like I''m trying to remember, but I''m actually frantically trying to come up with something. ¡°I was... where again? I remember being at school... I don''t know what happened after that though. Can I go to the infirmary?¡± I put my hand to my head, trying to look distressed, though I can''t say how good an actress I really am.

    Given the situation, she falls for it. ¡°Yes, straight to the infirmary, get yourself checked right away.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, I''ll go now.¡± I bow slightly, again attempting to look grateful to the woman, and run off before she can question things any more. Once I''m a good distance from the dorms, I stop. What do I do with myself now...?

 Chapter 48

    -Point of View: Seiko Maka-

    </a> I''m back in my room after a nice trip to Jostole on Saturday when Mom calls. She asks me how everything is going and it takes a while to talk through all the shit that''s happened since I came out at school. At least I''m off my period. Surprisingly, she congratulates me when I tell her about that. Why does everyone act like it''s a good thing? It''s painful, uncomfortable, messy, inconvenient¡­

    When I ask her about that, she says it means I can be a mother. That I can have children of my own one day.

    ¡°Oh¡­ right,¡± I mumble into the phone. I never thought of that. I haven''t really put much thought into being a parent in the future. There have been so many things standing between me and even considering dating, it always felt so far off, not something to worry about yet. But having kids is normal, isn''t it? Everyone has them eventually.

    But¡­ I like women. I''m still stuck on that when I finish talking with Mom and hang up.

    Lying back on my bed, I stare up at my mobile and do a search.

    ''Can women love women?''

    The internet''s answer¡­ ¡°Lesbian?¡± I read through some basic information, confirming that ''gay'' is a thing and how gay women are called lesbians.

    Then I land on a site talking about how being gay means you have a mental illness, and my heart starts to sink. It says that the way to fix it is with¡­ religion? They say you need to give up your life to God and how he''ll cure you.

    ...What?

    I leave that page, assuming it''s bullshit, and look around more. I manage to find one pretty soon after that says essentially the opposite. That some people are ''straight'' and some people are gay, that''s just how they''re born and there''s no changing it.

    That''s a relief. I''d really rather believe them than the people who say I''m mentally ill¡­ It still worries me though, what if those other people are right? And if they aren''t, why would they spread horrible misinformation like that?

    And then I find the hate. ''The gays are trying to destroy families.'' ''The gays will perv on you in the toilets.'' ''The gays will molest your children.''

    ¡°What the hell?¡± I scowl at the screen. Why would liking the same gender make you some kind of predator?

    ¡°Seiko, are you alright?¡± Leona suddenly asks from the other bed. I''m a bit startled, I thought she was taking a nap or something.

    ¡°Yeah, just looking something up.¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡± She sounds concerned and she''s sitting up, definitely because of how I''m looking at my mobile.

    ¡°Just people online.¡± When she gives me a questioning look, I go on. ¡°So, my mom told me how I could be a mother in the future, but I don''t know how that would work out, because I like women.¡±

    Leona''s eyebrows shoot up. ¡°You do?¡±

    I pause, a shard of worry in my gut when I see her so surprised. ¡°Yeah, I do.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I didn''t know girls could like other girls,¡± she admits.

    ¡°I¡­ didn''t really either. I just know that I do, so I tried looking it up and well¡­ So-¡± How do I explain this? ¡°-it''s called being¡­ homosexual,¡± I read the full term out from my mobile. ¡°It''s also called being gay, or for women, lesbian. I''m not sure why there are so many different terms for the same thing.¡±

    Leona is bobbing her head slowly, her full attention on me as she takes in the new information.

    ¡°So, the problem is, there are awful people online saying horrible stuff about gay people. Shit that doesn''t even make sense, like trying to get wives to divorce their husbands and ''recruit'' their children to be gay. It sounds insane.¡±

    ¡°That does sound pretty bad,¡± she agrees, ¡°what does Laros say about it?¡± As soon as she asks, my blood goes cold. I''m already having problems for being trans, don''t tell me there are more issues with being gay¡­

    After a few searches, I come up with a list of countries and their policies.

    ¡°It says some places deny rights or kill people outright...¡± I gulp, my breath beginning to come faster when I realize that. Forget being trans, why do people care so much about who you fall in love with?

    I keep scanning until I find it. ¡°B-but not Laros, that''s good...¡± I practically breathe out the realization in pure relief. ¡°I don''t see anything about being denied normal rights or anything... It does say Laros doesn''t legally recognize same-sex marriage. So I¡­ can''t get married?¡±

    That isn''t the most world shaking realization after what I read about other countries where I could literally be executed. I''ve never been in a relationship before anyway. I have no idea who would even date me if lesbians are so rare, not to mention most people refuse to even see me as female...

    ¡°Actually, how does that even work if I''m legally male?¡± I do another search and find absolutely nothing about the Laros government having any way to change your legal gender. On one hand, that means unless I get some sort of exception, they''ll never recognize me as female, but also... does that mean they won''t stop me from getting married? ¡°What a weird loophole...¡± I mumble. I don''t know how to feel about this...

    ¡°I''m not sure, but as long as there are no laws outlawing it, you should be fine,¡± Leona leans back, visibly relaxing.

    I don''t know why, but I can''t keep myself from asking. ¡°Hey, Leona? Do you think I''ll ever find another lesbian to date?¡±

    ¡°That''s hard to say. Like transgender people, we only just found out about them ourselves. If there are any other lesbians around, they probably never heard of it either. And that''s before considering how rare they might be.¡± I sigh and flop into my plushies, already feeling glum. Another couple searches, and I find that gay people make up... between one and ten percent of the population, depending on where you look and who you ask.

    So somewhere between one in ten and one in one hundred women will even be possibilities, and I have no real way of telling who...

    After scrolling a little further, skimming over different takes on the whole thing on both sides, I stumble across one particular mention that makes me shudder.

    It''s a specific group among the Laros'' military high command who have put forth the opinion that gay people are a danger to the values and families of our country. Their statement contains the same sort of vitriol demonizing gays that I already saw mentioned in other places. So at least some portion of the government is actively against gay people. That is really worrying...

    I keep going through the info I can find, expanding my understanding of the whole situation, and Leona eventually leaves for the night, teleporting back to her room. Just in case the administration wants to be sneaky and try checking up on her. There''s no reason not to at least sleep there. A working bed is about all there is after all.

    We say our goodbyes briefly before she vanishes in a heavy flash of indigo light. The feeling reminds me, I definitely think I''m starting to get a feel for psionics after so much exposure, but I''m extremely unsure of what to think about that. Especially after what Mejja said about getting added to a registry for it. Even if I do eventually figure it out, I''m definitely keeping it to myself...

    With those thoughts still pestering me, I continue my research. Looks like transgender people are even more rare than gay people, and apparently ''bisexual'' is a thing for liking either gender...

    Stolen novel; please report.

    ¡°Non-binary?¡± I mutter the term when I come across it, and go down a whole new rabbit hole into different types of genders and how there are some (much more progressive) places in the world where people are slowly expanding on the idea that there are only men and women. I''m not sure I completely get it, even after reading for a while. There are people who just... don''t feel like either? Or like something else entirely?

    How does that work with gendered souls? Can it be pinpointed the same way as male and female transgender people? It''s such a new thing, and such a small portion of the population, even in progressive countries, that I can''t find any solid confirmation or explanation of how it works. I do find my previous search results that turned up mention of scanners finding energy cores of non-standard positions, so that probably relates...

    ¡°Hmm...¡± I continue to ponder that and research all the related topics I can think of for a while...

    <hr>

    Knock knock.

    ¡°Mmm...¡± I mumble, rubbing my eyes and stumbling up out of bed when I register the knocking. I almost trip over my own feet for a second on my way to the door, hitting it so it slides open. ¡°Hey-¡± I cut short when I realize it isn''t Leona. Or any of my other friends.

    The curly blue hair bobs as Melissa Bolton bows deeply in my doorway. Suddenly very awake and very alone, I stumble back a few more steps.

    Why is she here? What does she want from me? Am I even strong enough to fight off a girl if I have to? She doesn''t look dangerous, but I raise my fists anyway. I''ll never go down without a fight, ever again.

    ¡°Woah woah woah!¡± she waves her hands frantically while backing up into the hall. ¡°I-I''m not- I''m sorry!¡± With no one near the door, it suddenly slides closed again between us. I sink to the floor, suddenly sweating and panting. After a few moments, there''s another knock at my door. Quiet and hesitant.

    I almost jump out of my skin anyway. I don''t go anywhere near the door. Instead, I scramble back on all fours, unwilling to take my eyes off of it even though I know she can''t get inside. I back into my desk, flailing a hand up and grabbing my mobile to call Leona.

    No answer. Shit, that''s right, she doesn''t get any signal in her room because fuck trans people. I call Ken.

    ¡°Huh? Hello? Sei?¡± he mumbles sleepily into the phone. ¡°What''s up?¡±

    ¡°C-can you come to my room? There''s someone outside and I''m scared.¡±

    There''s no hesitation. ¡°I''ll be right there.¡± Then he hangs up, and I sidle over to sit in the corner between my desk and bed.

    He''s on the third floor of the men''s dorm, and I''m on the fifth floor of the women''s. There''s a loud, heavy knock that I know is him, within like, two minutes anyway. When I open it, he''s there, covered in sweat and chest heaving rapidly. He must have sprinted practically the whole way over.

    He tries to ask how I am. I can read it on his lips, but he''s too out of breath to get the actual words out.

    ¡°Th-thanks, I''m fine,¡± I respond anyway. Then he steps through my doorway, standing close to my side as he turns back, to Bolton still standing in the hall, somewhere between shocked and nervous.

    With Ken at my side, I''m safe enough to ask her, ¡°Why are you here? What do you want now?¡±

    ¡°N-nothing!¡± she shakes her head, practically panicking. ¡°I just wanted to apologize again!¡± Her eyes keep moving to Ken, and she actually looks afraid. Good, I wish she''s stop messing with me!

    Wait, why does she want to apologize?

    ¡°I looked around the trans dorms like you said, and I saw the living conditions there. I realized how terribly you''ve been treated, and I wanted to apologize again for doing the horrible shit I did to you.¡±

    ¡°...¡± I don''t know how to respond.

    ¡°What did you do to Sei?¡± Ken asks when he recovers his breath, eyes narrowed dangerously. I didn''t want to tell the others about it...

    Bolton continues to bow down. ¡°I let my curiosity get the better of me. I was a dirty creep and peeked at Maka-chan in the showers.¡±

    ¡°You...¡± Ken starts to bristle, but I put a hand up to stop him.

    ¡°I get it.¡± At least she sounds like she regrets it. ¡°Just... leave me alone.¡±

    ¡°Is there any way I can make it up to you?¡± she asks.

    I find myself scowling immediately when she doesn''t listen and pushes. ¡°Leave me alone,¡± I repeat, voice harsh this time.

    ¡°A-alright,¡± she finally agrees. ¡°I''ll just... go. I''m sorry...¡± She scurries away. Once the door slides shut again, all the tension goes out of me and I stumble backward onto my bed. Ken sits down at the side and quietly pats my head for a bit before speaking.

    ¡°You doing alright, Sei?¡±

    ¡°I don''t know.¡± I''m still furious at Bolton for what she did, but seeing her so remorseful makes it seem like she learned her lesson. But why did she have to learn it after doing that to me?

    What does she expect me to say? ''Oh, I don''t care that you basically molested me with your eyes because you didn''t really mean it?''

    Fuck that!

    <hr>

    I''m quietly fuming about that for the rest of the day, even when we all hang out and have fun. Even when I''m working out with Leona. Even during my daily checkup.

    ¡°Seiko, do you want to talk about it?¡± Leona asks while I''m fixing my clothes.

    ¡°About what?¡± It''s a stupid question, we both know what she''s asking about. ¡°I don''t know. It just¡­ It really pisses me off. That she can do that to me and then just turn around and act like she knows better and she''s sorry now.¡±

    ¡°So what you''re saying is, you won''t forgive her, even if she''s changed?¡±

    ¡°No, why should I?¡± I challenge her. But she doesn''t respond and just ''hmms'' at me. ¡°Why do you think I should just forgive her?¡± I ask again, starting to pout.

    ¡°Huh? I don''t, that''s completely up to you.¡± What? Then why did it sound like¡­ ¡°I''m mostly wondering why you were so much more lenient with me.¡±

    I blink stupidly at Leona, I think I''ve completely lost the conversation.

    ¡°What do you mean? You never did anything to me though.¡±

    That raises both brows high. ¡°I injured you - seriously. Twice. I broke your arm, Seiko. But you weren''t even mad at me.¡±

    ¡°That? But that was an accident, it''s not like you meant to hurt me!¡± I stammer, trying to reassure her.

    ¡°But I still did. Isn''t it basically the same situation? I know physical and emotional trauma are different, is that why?¡±

    ¡°No, it''s different! Bolton-san did it on purpose!¡± I scowl.

    ¡°But she clearly didn''t mean to hurt you when she did,¡± Leona points out.

    ¡°Well she still did!¡±

    ¡°Exactly.¡± As soon as she says it, I get it. But that just makes me glare down at the bed.

    ¡°I don''t care, I''m not forgiving her.¡±

    ¡°That''s perfectly fine, Seiko. It''s your choice.¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± the doctor interrupts without warning, her heels clicking as she walks over to where we''re sitting. ¡°I think there might be a problem with that.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± But- but what she did!

    ¡°Maka-chan, I can understand you not wanting to forgive being wronged, but it''s important to consider why. As Vicca-san explained, you had no trouble forgiving an accidental injury, even a serious one. So it stands to question why you will not forgive an unintended trespass of your privacy?¡±

    ¡°It was intended,¡± I argue back immediately. ¡°She knew what she was doing! But she only cared about herself, she never thought about my feelings!¡±

    ¡°Alright, that''s fair.¡± The doctor raises her hands in a vague calming motion. ¡°So, she did something selfish, not realizing the harm it would cause. What part of that makes it so egregious in your eyes that you won''t consider forgiveness?¡±

    ¡°That''s¡­ It''s¡­¡± I don''t know¡­ ¡°All of it. The whole thing is so wrong. I mean, look at why! She said she was curious! Curiosity trumps my basic right to privacy now? These monsters don''t even look at me like I''m human!¡±

    My voice breaks, and I start sobbing, Leona wrapping me in a gentle hug while she glares at the doctor.

    The blue haired woman goes on anyway, sitting at the far end of the bed. ¡°There it is. So it''s not just about what Bolton-san did, is it? It''s about how people have been treating you lately. You must have felt alienated, like an outcast among your peers. Does that sound right?¡±

    I''m still crying as she asks me softly, and nod a few times through my tears.

    ¡°Now, I see why you feel the way you do, so what you''re doing is understandable. But still, don''t you think taking out all of that frustration on one person who wronged you - someone who has tried to make amends - doesn''t that feel wrong to you, Maka-chan?¡±

    ¡°Mrm,¡± I grumble, not knowing how to answer at this point.

    ¡°Don''t worry, it''s fine,¡± Doctor Belinda says. She opens her arms to give me a hug and I hesitate briefly, still against Leona''s side, before I shuffle forward and let her wrap her arms around my shoulders.

    Softly rubbing the back of my head, she says, ¡°You''re a good kid, but you''re going through a lot. You have to be careful not to let the negativity get to you or you''ll end up bitter. Stick with your friends, and don''t hesitate to make new ones. Let people learn and grow, and they''ll become the allies who will have your back later.¡±

    After her mini lecture, she releases me, to hold me briefly by the shoulders and smile down at me.

    ¡°...Thanks¡­¡±

    I leave with Leona soon after, still trying to process it all.

 Chapter 49

    The whole next week is more of the same. More school. More snags ¨C little bits of discrimination. Offhand comments and looks, but nothing overt, nothing anyone can get called out on. Except the girls avoiding me like the plague. I try not to let it get to me, but I don''t think it''s really working.

    At least my body is catching up thanks to my brutal after school exercises and no one laughs at me during gymnastics anymore. And my friends spurn the jerks and come to the block of showers we use after gym, so I don''t feel quite so alone.

    Unfortunately, I can''t bring myself to talk to Bolton again. She stays true to her word and leaves me alone too. However, she looks awfully downcast as she does it, which only makes me feel worse after that conversation with the doctor. I''m mad at her and mad at myself for feeling guilty for being mad at her.

    I hate it.

    It isn''t until next Saturday in the morning that something happens to change things up. Leona comes over first thing in the morning, telling me she received a reply from the government compliance division and building inspectors she called up about the trans dorms.

    ¡°O-oh?¡± She actually got the government to do something about it?

    ¡°I made sure to tell them the other party is hostile, so they''re making it a surprise inspection.¡± She flashes a feral grin. ¡°They''ll be here soon, let''s go meet them.¡±

    Even two weeks into everyone knowing, I still feel somewhat nervous when I change into a set of comfortable girl clothes. I eye a skirt in my drawer, but go with some dark jeans instead, though I can''t say if that''s much better since they''re pretty form fitting... Of course, my anxiety only gets worse when we leave my room, and half of the girls stare at me anyway, just like I expected.

    It''s just like I said, it feels like they don''t even see me as human. Like I''m some sort of dangerous animal. It''s been weeks and all I''ve done is normal stuff, not a single thing that should make them worried or scared, but so many of them haven''t changed at all. And I don''t know if they ever will.

    When we get clear of the dorms and the students in it, I relax, and we head to the transport terminal. It''s crowded like usual with students flocking in to board shuttles to the mall. The usual buzz of conversation and excitement cuts short when a much smaller and clearly better maintained vehicle pulls up. A personal or business shuttle I guess? I''m not sure if I''ve ever seen one outside of TV or pictures on the internet.

    It stops at the curb a short way from the terminal, leaving plenty of space for the normal shuttles to run through. After four men step out from inside, the door closes, but the shuttle stays parked in place, unmoving. It''s a little eerie to see in real life, actually...

    The men are all in their thirties and forties, dressed in slick business suits and dark ties, and I''m immediately feeling under-dressed. Even Leona has a pretty nice top on that I feel wouldn''t be out of place in a business environment. All I have is my soft t-shirt and a pair of comfy jeans...

    With every nearby student watching, the men look around until Leona waves them over. I feel their burning gazes as the men approach, all stopping a couple steps away. Leona extends a hand to no one in particular, and one of the men steps up to take it.

    The man that moves is approximately the oldest, with colorful blond hair that is just starting to recede, but he still has an attractive, squarish face with a strong jaw and looks well put together. He''s a pretty average height for a man, which puts him level with Leona as they shake hands.

    ¡°Martin Prower, Compliance Division,¡± he introduces himself shortly.

    ¡°Leona Vicca,¡± she answers, ¡°Meridan County High school, class 1-C.¡± As the man is nodding, she gives a military salute with her other hand and adds, ¡°Also, Psionic Operations, currently operating out of the Meridan Division under Aalin Mejja. Tier seven psion.¡±

    Prower doesn''t look surprised at all; I''m sure she already gave all her information when she called them in. When he releases her hand though, he instead extends it to me, and I jolt. Do I have to? He''s probably important, so maybe-

    ¡°This is Seiko,¡± Leona suddenly cuts right in. ¡°Seiko is touch averse, right?¡± she prompts me, and I nod emphatically. Probably a few more times than necessary in my panic.

    ¡°I see...¡± Prower intones, gray eyes still on me with a penetrating look that has me on edge.

    ¡°Seiko is...¡± Leona''s gaze shifts to the watching students, then back to the man. ¡°I''ll explain things on the way.¡± Clearly catching her meaning, Prower waves his men forward, and we start walking across campus toward the dorms. As soon as there''s some space between us and the ogling students at the transfer terminal, Leona continues.

    ¡°Seiko is also a student, class 1-C, with me,¡± she shortens my introduction somewhat. I''m just glad she''s doing it for me, these government men make me incredibly anxious. ¡°Also, Seiko is another member of psi-ops, the details of Seiko''s employment are confidential.¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Prower rubs his fingers over his clean-shaven chin in thought. ¡°Clearance level eight,¡± he tosses out. Leona nods.

    ¡°Alright, clearance check,¡± she says while holding out her mobile. He pulls his and they tap them together. She goes through the other three men as well. After confirming things, she speaks once more.

    ¡°Seiko is employed at psi-ops under Aalin Mejja in order to help further psionic research. Any more information requires higher clearance.¡±

    ¡°So secretive...¡± the man murmurs, still rubbing his chin as he peers down at me. I shift a little closer to Leona. She didn''t even mention my employment at psi-ops to the school administration...

    Soon moving on from that, Prower looks back up at Leona. ¡°Alright, I read through your original message about unlivable dorms and incorrect room assignments. Could you explain the situation in detail?¡±

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    ¡°No problem, here''s what happened. First, Seiko is transgender.¡± There isn''t much reaction to that. A small amount of confusion maybe. Do they not know the term?

    ¡°When Seiko told the school administration and submitted the required documents for changing the necessary enrollment information, Janice Monasta refused to accept it until ordered to do so by her superiors. Even then, instead of transferring Seiko to the female dormitory, she had an entirely new section of dorms created, which I do not believe provide proper living conditions due to lack of access to necessary amenities.¡±

    Leona takes a deep breath. ¡°That is my first complaint, which I would like you to confirm for yourselves when we arrive at the dorms. For the second one, when we confronted Janice Monasta about the living conditions in the transgender dorms, in order to get her to reassign Seiko to the female dorms, I was forced to trade rooms with Seiko. As such, my second complaint is my assignment to dorms that are not only not suitable for living, but also do not match my gender.¡±

    ¡°Alright, let me get this straight,¡± Prower speaks up uncertainly. ¡°Maka-chan here is... what?¡±

    ¡°Transgender. It means that Seiko''s gender does not match what the doctor''s thought at birth.¡±

    He tilts his head and looks down at me as we walk, apparent confusion all over his face. ¡°So... she''s... uhh?¡±

    ¡°Seiko was believed to be male at birth, but is actually female,¡± Leona says plainly.

    ¡°That''s...¡± he scratches his head. ¡°Honestly, kind of hard to understand.¡±

    ¡°How so? People make mistakes.¡±

    Prower is squinting. ¡°But how do you mix up a-¡±

    ¡°My point is,¡± Leona talks over him before he can say it, ¡°the school administration has obstructed Seiko every step of the way. Janice Monasta-san has caused undue suffering through Seiko''s assignment to a dorm which is unfit for human habitation, and in order to be allowed into the proper dorm, she instead assigned me to the wrong dorm out of spite.¡±

    Even Prower seems to get how bad that is, though he doesn''t comment on it outright. But I can see it in his face. ¡°She has repeatedly harmed us, members of psi-ops,¡± she adds with extra emphasis to point out that we have some standing above civilians.

    ¡°I see. These are some serious allegations,¡± Prower finally speaks on it.

    ¡°Yes, but that is not all,¡± Leona goes on, and he raises a brow. ¡°The worst thing Janice Monasta-san did. She has repeatedly facilitated the sexual abuse of Seiko.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± his mouth drops open, and I wince. I look down at the ground so I don''t have to see any more.

    ¡°First was when Lacey Monasta-san, her daughter and a previous student in class 1-C, led a group of students in the attempted sexual assault of Seiko. Including one who already sexually assaulted Seiko as a minor ¨C though that incident went unreported. Janice Monasta-san covered for them, arguing that it could not be legally deemed sexual assault because I managed to stop them before they finished removing Seiko''s clothing.¡± There''s a pause. Prower doesn''t even say anything.

    ¡°As such, she shielded the perpetrators by accusing Seiko and myself of assault instead, leading to no administrative or legal punishment for their actions, so the attack went unreported again.¡± Prower doesn''t say anything, but I can hear him heave a big breath from the side, similar sounds coming from the three men behind us. I''m just trying not to cry.

    It''s not really working.

    ¡°Next, was the fight over the dorms. In order to transfer dorms, besides taking my room, she appealed to a higher authority, a man named Roland Barrett-san from the Bightock County Finance Division. Barrett...¡± she cuts short, and I can hear her exhale, fuming through her teeth. ¡°In order for Barrett-san to give the go-ahead, he demanded Seiko allow him to visually inspect Seiko''s genitals.¡±

    ¡°Th-that''s...¡± one of the men behind mutters darkly, but never finishes.

    ¡°I know Barrett-san had level six clearance and a high enough position to demand just about anything, but-¡± Leona cuts off, before growling, ¡°But I still want it on the record that Janice Monasta put a sixteen year old girl into a position where she was forced to expose herself to an old man.¡±

    ¡°Holy...¡± Prower doesn''t have much more to say for a while, before, ¡°Vicca-san, do you have proof of any of this? Anything substantive? So it isn''t just your word against hers?¡±

    ¡°That''s... harder. For the assault incident, the school doctor should have records of treating the students involved, but there isn''t much to prove what they did. Also their hospitalization records, but those aren''t much help either.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you hospitalized them?¡± Prower exclaims.

    ¡°Yes. I received direct orders from my direct superior at psi-ops to ''beat the assailants within an inch of their life.''¡±

    The man pauses, but doesn''t say anything else on that for a few long moments, so Leona goes right on. ¡°For the second, it was a video call with Barrett-san, so there should be video evidence of the entire thing. Everything else... Well, we''re about to see the dorms, and the records changes for Seiko''s enrollment and our dorm room assignments should fill in the rest.¡±

    ¡°Alright. If that''s everything, let''s get to it,¡± Prower responds. Something about his tone, the edge of indignation, has me glance up at him again. He catches it and offers me a small, pitying smile. I don''t want others to pity me, but at the same time, it feels kind of nice, someone recognizing that what she''s done is wrong.

    The conversation was long enough that we''re almost back to the dorms, and everyone picks up their pace. We soon arrive, every student in sight in the girls'' first floor dorm stopping to stare at the men in suits.

    We arrive at the front desk, the female building monitor eyeing us all suspiciously. ¡°We''re here from Compliance,¡± is all Prower says, and her eyes pop wide open. After checking their credentials with shaking hands and numerous apologies, she registers them for free access to the entire building, and Leona leads us into the trans dorms.

    It goes pretty much exactly as we expected. They''re thorough, checking each room on all five floors, confirming that they lack all of the basic necessities from toilets to showers to food. They even take pictures and make notes on a couple tablets they have with them. Leona makes sure to mention that the dorms originally included those ''tranny'' signs too since language like that isn''t allowed in government buildings, which they make note of as well.

    And that her doing so essentially taught the entire student body an offensive slur that they''ve been using to refer to me ever since.That''s when she disappears briefly, before reappearing with the actual sign so they can take a picture of it for evidence.

    Apparently, she teleported it up onto the roof of the building to hide it until today.

    Once the men are finished, we stop briefly outside the front of the dorm, even though everyone is still staring at us. ¡°We have what we need here, we''ll be heading off to the administrator''s office to deal with the rest,¡± Prower tells us. ¡°There will be some follow-up pretty soon. Have a nice day, ladies.¡±

    After all of that, my nerves are pretty much shot for the rest of the day. I end up alternating between playing some computer games and napping in my room. I don''t have anything else left in me for more than that.

 Chapter 50

    It''s around the middle of the day Sunday when we inevitably get called to the administration office again. However, there''s an old woman there when we walk inside. She remains motionless, fingers interlaced on the desk. We both glance around, confused, before she speaks.

    ¡°Leona Vicca-san, Seiko Maka-san. I see you are the two troublemakers that got the last administrator removed.¡±

    Huh?

    ¡°Removed?¡± Leona asks. ¡°Janice Monasta was fired?¡±

    ¡°More than just fired, but yes,¡± the old woman confirms, her expression neutral and unreadable. They did more than just fire her? Like what?

    ¡°Yes!¡± Leona doesn''t even try to hide her joy, looking down at me with a big smile and clenching a fist in triumph. Her energy is infectious, and I grin back up at her, a few relieved tears trickling down my cheeks.

    ¡°A bit too excited, don''t you think?¡± the woman asks, a brow arched at us.

    Not breaking stride at all, Leona responds, ¡°Not at all, that woman was evil.¡±

    ¡°Oh, really?¡± Amid their back and forth, I finally have time to look the old woman over. Her hair is mostly gray, only hints of its original green coloring left. It''s wavy and cut short around her somewhat wrinkled face. Eyes moving down, she''s wearing a dark, professional looking dress, with an unusual maroon sheen when she shifts forward to lean on the desk and the light hits it just right.

    That''s what finally gets me to see that she''s not just at the desk, she''s sitting at the desk. I didn''t even notice at first- wait, how tall is she?

    My mind trips and I have to back it up when I realize that I''m looking up at the woman as she sits. I might be short, but that isn''t normal.

    Shaking her head and calming herself, Leona turns a polite smile on the woman. ¡°So, are you the new administrator?¡± Oh, that''s who she is! I feel slow when that finally clicks.

    ¡°That I am. Nora Ashil,¡± she introduces herself with a similarly polite smile. However, Leona flinches slightly at the name.

    Clearly trying to cover her response, Leona maintains her pleasant expression, even if it''s not fooling anyone now. ¡°It''s good to meet you, Ashil-san.¡± Does she already know this old woman somehow? Seeing Leona nervous is making me nervous to...

    ¡°You too, Vicca-san. Now, I didn''t receive much information about my new assignment besides you two being involved in the removal of the last administrator. Would you care to explain?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Leona agrees immediately. ¡°Since the beginning of the school year, Janice Monasta consistently persecuted Seiko, going as far as covering for the perpetrators of an attempted sexual assault, and building a new, legally uninhabitable section of dorms in order to isolate Seiko from the rest of the student body. There were other offenses as well, aimed at abusing, traumatizing, and denying Seiko basic rights and bodily autonomy as well, but I think you get the picture.¡±

    ¡°Holy...¡± The old woman blinks at us, eyes shuffling back and forth, clearly not expecting that. ¡°Well, that''s certainly egregious...¡± She nods a few times before her attention turns on Leona once more. ¡°What on Miel would possess her to do such things?¡±

    Leona shrugs slightly with her first answer. ¡°Part of it was likely a grudge when I hospitalized her daughter, the leader of the attempted sexual assault.¡± That has Ashil facepalming as Leona continues. ¡°Mostly though, she persecuted Seiko for being transgender.¡± When Ashil doesn''t recognize the term, Leona explains.

    ¡°So wait, Maka-chan was born male?¡± the new administrator looks down at me in confusion. ¡°But she''s clearly female. So how...?¡± She trails off, scratching her cheek, stumped.

    ¡°That information is confidential.¡± I''m confused when Leona sounds... resigned as she says that? Why?

    ¡°How odd,¡± the lady comments. ¡°I have clearance level four.¡± She says it with a somewhat dismissive wave of her hand, like that''s obviously enough to get any information she wants. But-

    I jolt, heart probably skipping a beat. Woah... that''s...

    ¡°Clearance check,¡± Leona intones with the same sound. Did she already know? Why is Ashil''s clearance so high? She''s just a school administrator...

    They tap mobiles so Leona can confirm the clearance even though she already knows, then turns to me. ¡°I''m sorry Seiko, can you step out for a minute? You don''t actually have clearance to hear about this...¡± She looks so apologetic, but... isn''t this my own information? I guess it''s a government technicality thing? According to the clearance info Mejja sent to my mobile at some point, my I have level thirteen from working for psi-ops, so I guess it''s understandable...

    I nod stiffly and back off, out the door. I guess Leona''s telling her how that psi-tremor changed my body and now I''m working for psi-ops so they can study my PEP. I have so many questions though. Why is it such a high level secret? Because anything related to psions and the military is that big a deal for the Laros government?

    And why, why does our new school administrator have such ridiculously high security clearance? Wouldn''t that put her in military high command? I''m about at the point of calling Mejja to ask, since I''m having trouble breathing through my worry because it''s so damn weird. But the door opens again and Leona waves me back into the office before I can pull out my mobile.

    ¡°My, my,¡± Ashil says as soon as I approach again, ¡°what an interesting one we have here.¡± Her eyes are practically gleaming as she looks me over with renewed interest, immediately sending me closer to Leona''s side. I''m already sweating, my palms damp as I try desperately to stay calm.

    With her political power, we can''t raise a single protest, can we? We couldn''t even fight Roland Barrett, and his clearance was only level six...

    Was getting rid of Monasta a good thing or a bad thing...? We didn''t replace her with someone even worse did we? What if she decides to hate me the same way? My life will be absolute hell...

    I''m already in a downward spiral, when she stands.

    I think my brain isn''t working right. The anxiety is getting to me or something. My eyes are reporting that her head skims the ceiling, soaring almost double my height. But that can''t be right. Humans don''t get that tall, do they?

    I don''t think I''m breathing by the time she steps around the desk between us. My hands cling, sweaty fingers digging into Leona''s arm with dull, disbelieving terror. When the woman stops in front of us, I''m eye level with her stomach.

    ...How?

    ¡°Oh, no need to be so gray,¡± she tuts. Even if I was thinking right, that wouldn''t make sense, would it? ¡°It sounds like you''ve been through an ordeal. You should be happy to hear that I won''t be piling any more issues onto your clearly already full plate.¡±

    That''s... that''s good? She''s not going to destroy my life for no reason? She raises a brow when I do nothing but stare in response. ¡°Maka-chan?¡± she prompts me.

    I open my mouth, some part of my brain automatically trying to respond. That''s when another part reminds me I''m not breathing, and I sputter to take a gagging breath. The whining sound has both of them looking concerned, before I manage to squeak out, ¡°Th-thanks?¡±

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    ¡°I''m sorry, Seiko has been through a lot,¡± Leona apologizes for me. ¡°So Seiko has a lot of anxiety, especially around high ranking government officials. If you request a copy of the Compliance report, I''m sure you''ll understand.¡±

    ¡°Is that so...?¡± the woman mutters pensively, ¡°I''ll have to do that. Now, I believe that answers my questions for now. Have a nice day, girls.¡± With a polite farewell, Leona herds me out of the room before I have a panic attack or something.

    When we make it out of the building, my feet stop working. Something is wrong. I fall against a wall, sliding down to sit in the grass because I can''t stand. I start to shake and cry, letting Leona hold me close and whisper comforting, unintelligible sounds in my ear. I don''t... what''s......

    My emotions swing wildly all over the place. The whole time, there''s this pounding in my head and a dreadful certainty that my life is over. I tell myself that the new administrator seemed nice, but that imminent sense of foreboding doom doesn''t diminish at all.

    I don''t even know how long it lasts, but I do eventually calm down. My wildly gasping breaths and pounding heart slow, and I slouch limply into Leona''s side.

    My eyes flutter, opening and closing a bit at a time. Where am I...? Once I can hold them open a little longer, I recognize the familiar ceiling. The infirmary? It takes a little while longer to sit up; I feel like all the energy has been sapped out of me. Before I know it, the doctor is approaching.

    ¡°Good to see you up, Maka-chan.¡±

    ¡°What happened...?¡± I ask, needing to put in effort not to slur my words together.

    ¡°By Vicca-san''s description, I think you had a panic attack.¡±

    ¡°A... panic attack?¡± Wait, like an actual panic attack? I know I was seriously freaking out in the new administrator''s office, but why would I have a panic attack afterward? That doesn''t make any sense...

    ¡°Pretty much.¡± The doctor sits lightly at the end of the bed. ¡°They can happen, especially when you''re dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety, so...¡± she shrugs. ¡°I can''t say I''m that surprised, but still. It must have been really frightening.¡±

    ¡°I...¡± I''m not sure how to respond. I''m not even sure how to describe it after the fact. That sense of doom. It didn''t even make sense during the panic attack, how the hell would I get it now? I end up shaking my head. ¡°Sorry... or thanks...¡± I''m not sure what to say here, and end up yawning, mouth open wide as I bring a hand up to cover it.

    The doctor ends up yawning too, like people do, and shakes her head, looking a little amused by it. Then she goes to the next bed over, where I finally realize Leona is, looking worried even in her sleep. The doctor shakes her gently awake, and she''s up and asking if I''m alright within moments.

    ¡°Yeah, I''m sorry, Leona. I''m fine now. Just... too much stress, I guess.¡± With a small sigh, I pull my mobile from my pocket. ¡°Shit, it''s this late?¡±

    ¡°Panic attacks tend to leave you really tired,¡± the doctor jumps back in to explain. ¡°You slept most of the day.¡± It''s pretty much time for my daily checkup, so Leona gets to it. I didn''t have a chance to burn off any energy though, so I''m going to be taking a big step backward. I was actually starting to get the level down too this last week, I would have been able to finish next week, I think.

    Another setback... I sigh sadly as Leona climbs up onto the bed. She apologizes softly, but it''s my own fault. Stupid panic attack...

    After Leona pins me to check my energy level, she reports that it''s not great, but I already knew that. Then we move to a bed in the back of the room and close the curtain; we learned our lesson not to mess up just because we were knocked off our routine that time with Melissa Bolton.

    Once the curtain is drawn, she climbs on top of me and starts charging up. The heavy weight on me is so comfortable now, I relax into the bed with a sigh. As I wait, my tired mind idly wanders.

    I wonder why it feels heavy? Air pressure? It''s funny when I think of it that way. Supernatural psionic power that can do literally anything, and it makes the air pressure heavier. How weird...

    Then Leona finishes charging up while I''m grinning like an idiot at the weirdness of it. She fills me with another rush of power, and suddenly I get it. That''s not air pressure.

    I understand. All at once, it all makes sense. Everything makes sense like this. Leona finishes, straightening up over me. As soon as her hands leave my chest and abdomen, I can feel the world closing in around me again.

    I only have an instant, but that''s all it takes. At the speed of thought, it''s done, and then the feeling is gone, buried beneath the background noise of reality once more.

    Leona jolts, stumbling backward on the bed with a startled yelp, and I look up at her, just in time for her to drop her mobile on my chest. It bounces off one of my breasts and I wince, watching it roll off the bed and onto the floor.

    ¡°Ow...¡± I murmur, rubbing that spot as I sit up.

    ¡°Wh-what was that?¡± Leona stammers.

    ¡°Umm, I think I figured it out?¡± I offer uncertainly. It''s disconcerting how even after doing it, I don''t understand it once the feeling is gone. Leona gets my point though, her eyes widening. She starts to open her mouth, before spinning to check the closed curtain. It''s clear what she means though.

    Oh, we definitely can''t discuss this in front of the doctor. I realize it moment late. No one can know about this if I want to keep off the psion registry. That''s the doctor''s cue to open the curtain, asking if we''re alright.

    ¡°Yeah, fine.¡± I blush when she averts her eyes, and quickly fix my clothes.

    ¡°Just dropped my mobile,¡± Leona says, climbing off the bed to grab it. Once she''s sent off the data to Mejja like usual, we say goodbye to the doctor. She reminds me to get some extra rest after my earlier panic attack on our way out.

    As soon as we clear the school building, Leona asks, ¡°So?¡±

    ¡°Let''s see...¡± I''m still trying to put together how to explain. ¡°Basically, when you do a psionic flood, I can feel psionic power. But it''s just for like, two seconds maybe, before it''s gone again. I figured out how to use it today. Or at least, I think I did, since it worked.¡± Her mobile definitely appeared in her hand when I wanted it to. She couldn''t have dropped it otherwise, it was up at the head of the bed before I moved it.

    ¡°Alright, ok.¡± She takes a few breaths. ¡°So, you just figured out how to use psionic powers. Ok then. But what you did - my mobile teleported. That was my power.¡±

    ¡°I''m probably piggy-backing off of you?¡± I offer my only real guess. ¡°Either from the psionic energy you put in me, or just like, the power you''re releasing or something? I don''t really know. Like I said, all the understanding just kind of poofs out of my head and don''t make any sense as soon as it''s over.¡±

    ¡°Mmm...¡± Leona considers that for a while. Eventually, she asks, ¡°So, what now?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, what now?¡±

    ¡°Are we training now? Or do you want to tell Mejja-san?¡± Huh?

    ¡°O-oh, definitely not telling Mejja-san,¡± I wave a hand anxiously. ¡°I don''t want to end up on any lists... And, umm, like I said, I''m not really a psion if I can only piggy-back off your power for like two seconds a day, you know?¡± And what was that about training?

    ¡°Ah, good point...¡± She runs a hand up through her short hair with a complicated expression. ¡°Sorry, I think my expectations were a bit...¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± What were her expectations?

    ¡°Well...¡±

    When I catch her hesitation and realize this probably touches on her past, I start to backpedal. ¡°You don''t have to talk about it if you don''t want to.¡±

    Leona sighs deeply. Then she turns and looks off into the distance, somewhere up in the sky. ¡°When I first used my powers, my caretakers immediately started my training. I spent all of my time honing my powers to make them as strong as possible. So, well, my first reaction was... I''m sorry, Seiko.¡±

    ¡°O-oh...¡± I grimace. ¡°No, it''s fine,¡± I try to comfort her, reaching up to rub her back. ¡°If that''s how it went for you, of course that''s what you would think of first. But for me, there really isn''t much I could do to train, even if I wanted to. I mean, I''ll probably keep trying things out in the time I have during our checkups, but it''s more curiosity than anything.¡± After all, the way things are, I''ll never be able to do anything freely on my own.

    ¡°Fair enough. Still...¡± she pauses for some time, before saying, ¡°you''re amazing, Seiko.¡± Huh? ¡°You basically find out you''re a psion and you just brush it off. Most people would freak out, don''t you think?¡±

    ¡°Ahh, it''s not like that,¡± I giggle a little. ¡°I already thought about it a lot and figured out that I''m not a psion. I have no idea what I am at this point, but a psion isn''t it.¡±

    ¡°Huh, that''s a good point,¡± she nods a few times. ¡°There are so many abnormalities in how things work for you, it''s like you fall into an entirely different classification. Something we''ve never seen before.¡±

    ¡°Great...¡± I twitch a little. Being some sort of unique, weird thing just makes me more anxious. Like I''m less human, when people already treat me like shit...

    In any case, we''ve basically decided to leave things as they are, so we drop into a comfortable quiet and head back to the dorms together. I''m really tired after my panic attack, so I climb right into bed. It looks like the new admin worked her magic and got Leona properly transferred into our room too, so one less thing to worry about...

 Chapter 51

    I''m feeling a little better come Monday morning. Or, at least less exhausted. I make it through class alright, but on breaks, there''s a new buzz of excitement.

    People are starting to talk about summer vacation. It''s a couple weeks away still but...

    When I''ve talked to Mom on the phone over the last few weeks, she hasn''t mentioned word of me spreading back home yet, probably because most people want as much space from their parents as possible.

    But once summer vacation hits and everyone goes home for the holidays, it''s going to be a whole different story.

    For now, I''m putting off stressing about that. I have plenty more immediate problems, mainly language class...

    ¡°Alright, break up into groups.¡± The teacher waves a hand and goes, ¡°Across, everyone in your row. Up, up.¡± With a few more words and waves of her hands, she gets everyone to cluster up into our groups.

    However, the way she formed them¡­ Most of my friends are staggered throughout the classroom. Amari is in my row, over by the opposite wall, but that''s it. It''s just the two of us, together with two other students I hardly know. Hell, Bolin Vance would have been in our group, but his desk has been empty ever since he attacked me.

    The other guy and girl in our group eye me while I slide a little closer to Amari. They''re Jeffrey Palla, who sits next to me, and Mary Lorelei, from next to him. As soon as we''re all grouped up, the teacher explains that we''ll be reading over some article and writing up a group response.

    As soon as she waves for us to all start, the other groups buzz to life, but ours kind of... doesn''t. We all keep looking between each other nervously, except Lorelei, who flicks a hand through her hair, sending one of her lavender purple braids over her shoulder with an annoyed look.

    ¡°Come on, this isn''t going to write itself,¡± she scoffs. That finally gets us moving, even if it''s just to stare down into our textbooks and read over the bit we''re supposed to read. Once we''re done, we get the paper written, but the whole thing is stilted. It quickly becomes clear that me, Amari, and Palla are the softspoken, introvert types, while Lorelei is one hundred percent extrovert. She ends up writing most of it with an annoyed scowl while the rest of us awkwardly chip in where we can.

    We somehow make it through that, and then the rest of the day is smooth sailing. Right up until gym.

    ¡°Alright everyone,¡± Folle calls from the front of the room, ¡°remember, we''re starting with our swim classes this week, so you better have remembered your swimsuits.¡±

    I cringe. Swimming? When did he say that? While I stammer my question at my friends, they grimace and say he mentioned it last Friday during last period. I... I guess I just wasn''t paying attention at the time? I don''t have mine...

    ¡°Don''t worry, Seiko,¡± Leona comes over and pats me on the shoulder reassuringly. ¡°I missed it too, I''ll go get our swimsuits.¡±

    ¡°R-right.¡± I sputter. Because she can get there and back in time. Everyone is just starting to get up and shuffle through their things when she turns in the direction of the dorms.

    ¡°I''ll meet you outside the changing room, just give me a minute.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± I nod, feeling the short burst of power rolling off her, then she''s gone. There''s a small shock of surprise through the class, some of them catching her teleport, or maybe just her glow beforehand, but it was fast enough that a lot of the students turning toward us didn''t even see themselves. That, and I think everyone''s started getting used to Leona suddenly teleporting once in a while.

    In any case, it isn''t long before we''re heading out the door, all flowing down the hall toward the school''s pool and attached changing rooms. They''re only used for the pool, not for gym class. I guess they didn''t want students walking all the way across the school in swimsuits?

    Of course, it would make too much sense for the pool to be near the gym so the changing rooms could be used for both; instead, it''s pretty much on the exact opposite side of campus, a fenced in outdoor section attached to one of the many wings of the monstrosity of a building. Which is why we normally change in our classrooms instead.

    Just like she said, Leona comes running up to us right outside the changing rooms. She''s panting, so she must have conserved some of her power by running partway. She passes me my school swimsuit as she approaches, and I sigh with relief. Now I won''t get scolded by the teacher.

    With that worry out of the way, I turn toward the changing room and frown. I still can''t change with the other girls. Turning in place as my friends all move into their respective rooms, I don''t see a toilet nearby. Where should I change then?

    Leona''s waiting with me as usual, so she shrugs and says, ¡°We can just wait a couple minutes.¡± I grumble, annoyed again with how other people''s stupid prejudice is making my life harder. ¡°Or, we could say screw them and go right in,¡± she shows her teeth with a dangerous grin.

    I actually consider it. If they''re all going to be dicks to me, who cares if they''re uncomfortable with my mere presence?

    But... I sigh sadly. I already know I''d be way more uncomfortable than them. They would be ogling me the entire time; the thought makes me instantly sick to my stomach.

    So we wait. After a couple minutes, to give the other girls enough time, we head in. There are a handful left, still partially dressed. They cover themselves and glare at me, but I ignore them and go to one corner where they won''t be able to watch me change. And then I wait a little longer for them to leave anyway.

    I fold up my uniform as I take it off, then pause to ask Leona whether I''m supposed to wear my underwear underneath my swimsuit. I didn''t with guy''s swim trunks, but I have no idea if this is done differently. When she shakes her head no, I remove them as well and slip into the dark swimsuit.

    It''s a simple one piece that isn''t overly skimpy, in a blue so dark it''s nearly black. None of that makes me feel the slightest bit more comfortable in the skintight clothing. I''ve seen these on plenty of girls before, so logically I know it''s no big deal, but wearing it myself? I feel positively exposed. There''s a reason I always wore loose fitting clothing!

    The soft, stretchy fabric and how it conforms perfectly to my body, especially my chest and groin, already have me blushing badly. Do I really have to wear this? Everyone is going to stare!

    ¡°Seiko, are you alright?¡± Leona asks, looking down at me with clear concern. Of course, she looks as gorgeous as always in her own swimsuit, reminding me again that these really aren''t that revealing. But they feel revealing...

    ¡°I-I just...¡± I flap my hands anxiously. ¡°Everyone''s going to stare at me!¡±

    ¡°It''ll be fine,¡± she assures me with a smile. ¡°You''re really pretty, you look great.¡± That''s not- I stare at the ground, cheeks on fire at her complement that''s totally not the point right now. Doesn''t matter, she called me pretty! ¡°You do need to tie your hair back though,¡± she reminds me, breaking me out of my panicked daze.

    ¡°Right right, my hair,¡± I babble, grabbing a hair tie and getting it all tied up, nice and tight so it won''t come out in the water. I shake my head and take a few breaths to steady myself. Just have to stay calm. Leona gets us moving, out of the changing room and into the pool area before we take too long and the class starts without us.

    My expectations were, obviously, correct.

    The moment we enter the fenced in area around the pool, and drop our towels over by the side, every eye lands on me, and I hide behind Leona, using her larger body as a shield. We shuffle to the girl''s side, where everyone is sitting at the poolside, still staring, like they can see me right through Leona.

    When we sit down, my friends cluster up around me, and the teacher gets to the lesson. Even she keeps an eye on me as she has us stretch a bit before getting in the water. It''s nothing like the pair stretches for gymnastics though, just a couple basic arm and leg stretches so we don''t get a cramp in the pool. Even the guys go through it behind us, on the far side.

    Then the teachers order the girls into the pool first, so we can swim a couple laps. As soon as I slide into the water though, I shudder.

    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    Woah, this feels weird. Like... it''s hard to even understand it. Like I''m sliding through the water instead of swimming in it...

    It''s only a few moments later that I realize the problem. I''m kicking my feet, but it''s hardly working. I immediately take a big breath, before my head goes under. The extra buoyancy helps keep me near the surface while I work to paddle my way up again.

    Once I do, I can keep myself above water, but it''s hard. I can''t tread water and stay afloat, I have to keep kicking and stroking, essentially swimming upward the entire time. It''s not too bad though. Once I start swimming across the pool to do laps, the movement more or less keeps me up. At least the extra effort keeps my mind off of the other students around me.

    When the teacher blows her whistle, we get out and swap with the boys. ¡°Hey,¡± a voice calls as I''m approaching the side to pull myself out of the pool. When I get my hands onto the smooth tiled poolside so I don''t have to keep kicking so hard, I look up. Charley Totek is standing right over me, a hand extended to help me out. He sits behind Ken in our class, with black hair and nothing in particular that stands out about him. But he''s still a guy. I wince, huddling down at the edge of the pool.

    ¡°I''m fine,¡± I tell him, trying not to sound too tense.

    ¡°It''s no problem,¡± he chuckles, like it''s no big deal, but that''s not the point.

    ¡°Really, I can do it myself.¡± I start scanning the poolside. Leona''s coming, but she''s still all the way on the other side. As for Ken, he''s already in the pool himself. Lucy and Amari haven''t noticed... Even with my friends all around us, there are a few moments I''m alone.

    ¡°Come on, Maka-san, what''s wrong?¡± he extends his hand further. How do I deal with this? I don''t want to be rude, but I try to be more firm.

    ¡°I''m fine. Please let me get out on my own.¡± As much as I try, my tone comes out clipped, and he notices, brow furrowing.

    ¡°What''s the big deal? I''m just trying to help,¡± he insists.

    I grit my teeth. Just stay calm... ¡°Thank you for the thought, but I have an aversion to touch. You''re making me uncomfortable.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± His tone says he doesn''t believe me. ¡°Isn''t that a bit much? What have I ever done to you?¡± He actually sounds kind of offended.

    ¡°Totek-san, please move.¡± I start sliding along the edge of the pool to get around him, but now he looks kind of angry. Should I swim away? I''m pretty tired...

    ¡°Come on,¡± he grunts, shifting in front of me again.

    That''s it. ¡°I said no.¡± I glare up at him, then kick off the side, swimming away and aiming for the side of the pool where Leona quickly circling around, her eyes locked on me. The whistle blows, drawing my attention while I''m pushing myself to get across the pool again. My muscles are getting really tired from how hard swimming is now...

    ¡°Maka-san, out of the pool,¡± the teacher calls, ¡°unless you''ve changed your mind.¡±

    Was that really necessary? I growl internally. ¡°I''m working on it!¡± I call back. I''m almost at my limit though, my arms and legs are getting really heavy. Leona stops at the poolside, just ahead of me, as I struggle the last of the way.

    ¡°Seiko, are you alright?¡± she asks, kneeling down over me.

    ¡°Yeah, can you help me up?¡± Holding onto the side, I actually do need help to get out now. She takes me by the forearms, easily lifting me straight up out of the water and setting me down gently on the grippy flooring around the pool.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I pant out, bending over as I pant heavily and try to catch my breath. I have to fight just to hold myself up, my legs feeling like jelly.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Her eyes are already aimed at Totek as he stalks away with an unpleasant look.

    ¡°He wanted to help me out of the pool, but he wouldn''t take no for an answer,¡± I grumble. ¡°Jerk.¡± We head over to where the other girls are sitting to grab our towels and rest. I immediately throw mine over myself because they''re all staring again.

    While the guys start doing their time in the pool, we rest, but it isn''t long before one of the girls speaks up. ¡°Maka-san, what''s with that outfit?¡± I duck closer behind my friends, sitting between us.

    I look between them, seeing that it''s Clara Mitchel who''s asking. She''s blond, with her hair pulled up into a short ponytail, like most of the girls right now. It looks shorter than most though, even mine.

    ¡°What?¡± I ask. I don''t even want to, but outright ignoring her would be bad. What about my outfit? My stomach starts to fill with more nervousness; they''re all staring at me...

    ¡°You look like a girl!¡± Mitchel exclaims, ¡°It looks like you have tits, and I can''t see your dick at all!¡± I my stomach turns at the word. All the girls are staring, their eyes all over my body. Faces of mixed confusion and disgust. The way they''re looking at me makes me feel sick. I try to bite my tongue, but I can''t this time.

    ¡°The fuck is wrong with all of you?! I already told you I''m a girl! If you don''t want to believe me, that just means you''re assholes!¡± I''m glaring across them, even as tears fill my eyes. My arms clutch around myself, fingernails digging into my arms as I curl up with my knees to my chest. ¡°Why are you all like this? What''s wrong with you?¡±

    When I bury my head against my knees, there''s a chorus of offended sounds, before one of the girls scoffs. ¡°What''s wrong with us? You''re the one pretending to be a girl so you can perv on us!¡±

    ¡°Oh really?!¡± I fire back indignantly, head coming up again to glower at them, a fire burning through me, pushing away the sick dread of being ogled with pure, indignant rage. ¡°Me perv on you? By getting kicked out of the changing rooms, bathrooms, and showers I have just as much right to as any of you? Shit, you''re the ones perving on me! You literally just asked about my tits and- and-¡± I can''t even say it. ¡°Fuck, you-¡± and I jab a finger at Melissa Bolton who is just staring at the ground, ¡°-peeked at me in the showers!¡±

    With my fists clenched and jaw set in pure, seething emotion I''ve somehow kept in check until now, I rail on. ¡°Why can''t you just give me a fucking break? Haven''t I been through enough?¡±

    ¡°Seriously? You''re just a tranny and now you''re playing the victim card?!¡± Tiffany Rekka barks with a leering scowl.

    ¡°Yes!¡± I finally throw my hands up. ¡°I am! I am a fucking victim!¡± I admit, staring down at their shocked faces. ¡°Why do you think we''re missing students? Why do you think the admin was fired?! What they did to me!¡±

    ¡°I''ve been bullied and oppressed and harassed and coerced and molested! Attacked, sexually assaulted, forced to expose myself-¡± I rapid fire with everything bursting out, ¡°-a psion tried to kill me and I almost got fucking raped! I''m too scared to touch people!¡±

    Angry tears are starting to overflow as their faces all twist and morph across every range of expressions, before I clench my fists against the ground, starting to curl up as I can barely contain myself anymore.

    Then-

    ¡°Oh shut up, a freak like you deserves it!¡± My eyes go wide as I stare up at Rekka, now standing and pointing a finger down at me. ¡°If you''d just disappear, all our lives would be better!¡±

    My mouth falls open and the fire goes out. How... how could someone say such a thing?

    ¡°I''m human too...¡± I whimper. ¡°Doesn''t that matter at all?¡± I''m too busy wiping at my eyes to notice when Leona rises beside me. Until her voice comes from overhead.

    ¡°Rekka-san, you''ve gone too far.¡± Her tone is flat, like a blunt weight as her power flows and the air crystallizes all around me. ¡°Leave.¡±

    Rekka cringes. ¡°W-why should...¡± she mumbles weakly before her words vanish, already backing away with terror in her eyes.

    Before Leona can push any further, Melissa Bolton stands as well. ¡°Rekka-san, Maka-chan has never done anything to harm any of us. What gives you the right to treat her like this?¡± Her gaze sweeps over the surrounding girls, even as her shoulders hitch up in terror at the sight of Leona. ¡°I don''t know about the rest of you, but the way she treats people- I''d take Maka-chan in our changing rooms over Rekka-san any day.¡±

    Everyone looks at each other, trading looks of confusion, confliction, uncertainty. There are murmurs of agreement and disagreement in seemingly equal measure, but even those who disagree scowl at Rekka. There are only a handful of girls out of the whole class who unapologetically stand by her with similar, hateful comments.

    All at once, the group splits. Seven girls gather with Rekka, slowly moving off, while the rest stay clustered together here. When I look around at the other girls, many of them still seem unsure, but some of them offer small looks of reassurance.

    ¡°Seiko,¡± Leona calls my name, and I turn to her. She''s kneeling, reaching out for me slowly, so she doesn''t surprise me. The glowing rage is gone from her eyes, replaced with care. Her hand finds my back, rubbing briefly before she sits down at my side again.

    When I settle against her, looking back toward the pool, I freeze, realizing that all the guys, and even the teachers, are staring. I just... shouted all of that in front of everyone, didn''t I...?

    I shrink down between my friends, and everyone lurches back into motion, continuing with gym class. For a bit, I just sit there, the splashing of the guys the only real sound while the girls remain in awkward silence. I can just make out the other group of girls all talking while they stand around one of the other fences, partway around the pool from where we are.

    Then it hits me, and I turn. ¡°Bolton-san,¡± I address her, and her head snaps over to me. ¡°...Thanks.¡± She really helped at the end there.

    ¡°You''re welcome, Maka-chan.¡± I smile a little at the name. It isn''t too long before the girls ease up, chatting about class and boys and movies, and with the help of my friends, I manage to make it through the rest of gym class. I''m glad that we switch on and off with the boys and have time to rest, because swimming is really tiring now.

    When everyone heads back in to change, I hesitate outside the door. Leona stays with me as always. Her one raised brow is all it takes to ask if I''m comfortable going in now or not. I... don''t know. Am I? A lot of the girls seem to have started accepting me, but the thought of them seeing me naked is still...

    I still can''t help the shudder and revulsion that comes with the thought. The reminder of being watched. The pain and violation from that day are still there. Even with the time that''s passed, the scar still feels fresh. I shake my head. ¡°No, I''m not ready yet.¡± With a small nod, Leona waits with me, a few extra minutes for the other girls to change, before we head in.

 Chapter 52

    The days that follow up my gym class breakdown are surprisingly fine. I''m still hesitant around the other girls, but now they all know why, and they actually seem to respect it. A few of them ask questions. They''re pretty personal, but I can tell now- they''re not asking to hurt me, and they recognize that it''s awkward and uncomfortable for me, and they accept when it''s too much for me to get into. That''s how they all get a little more of the details of what happened with Bolin Vance and Lacey Monasta. They''re sympathetic, but I tell them a few times that I don''t want pity, I just want to be me.

    The biggest change is slowly opening up to Marissa Bolton. It quickly becomes obvious that she''s way too curious about things. She oversteps boundaries a few times with her questions, but never trying to hurt me- I can see that now. And most of the time, I can see her immediately berating herself for it.

    I stay away from talking about psionics and the changes to my body, but with our continued swimming classes throughout the week, I''m pretty sure they all catch on to the fact that my body is female too. I don''t really care about that. It''s fine, as long as they aren''t being invasive or want to see me naked...

    Of course, all of this goes for the bulk of our class. Of the seven from gym who simply refused to accept me, three are from our class; the rest are from across the hall.

    Piera Illen, Aida Everette, and Violet Quincy. They remain outright hostile and refuse to interact with me whatsoever, which quickly isolates them from the rest of the girls. They end up grouping together with a few of the guys, like Zeke Bransh and Kiri Hooper. I try to ignore the vile looks they send my way, glad that most of them sit far across the room from me, so I don''t have to hear anything they say.

    Still, the week is a definite improvement. With my outburst and the ensuing acceptance of the girls, more of the guys are starting to catch on too. Somehow, that''s both good and bad. Some, like Charlie Totek act more friendly during our brief interactions, but I''m acutely aware the new issues that come with it. When they don''t listen to what I say, or talk over me like it''s no big deal. It''s not as overt as their previous insensitive attitudes, seeing me as trans.

    Instead, it feels more insidious. When I pay close attention, I soon realize it''s a normal thing when they do it with the other girls too. So, misogyny. And they don''t even know they''re doing it, the same way I didn''t recognize the crap I picked up from my dad.

    So they''re treating me badly because they do accept me. I really don''t know how to feel about that one...

    Apart from all that with my classmates, there''s... one little issue that becomes more of a concern throughout the week. I''m starting to have trouble burning off energy between classes. My weakened strength is finally reaching the point where I need a lot of extra weight to make me strain. Leona goes back to pinning me, since that''s about the only way to put enough force on me during our breaks.

    But it''s weird, she''s using her powers to strengthen herself, even though she should still be way stronger than me. No matter how I think about it, it just doesn''t make sense.

    Well, as long as it works, I guess? I''m slowly getting closer to burning off the excess energy at least. Now that I''ve made it past that tipping point where I could barely break even each day, I''m able to take it down a lot faster. It shouldn''t be long now.

    It''s kind of ironic actually. I''m going to be able to defend myself again, now that everyone''s more accepting and I don''t need to worry about being attacked like before.

    In any case, there are ups and downs, but overall, it''s a marked improvement from how things were before. I just don''t feel so... alone anymore. Ostracized, just for existing. Then Saturday morning comes, and it''s time for another trip to psi-ops. We take an early shuttle out like usual, arriving in Meridan Central with the rise of the sun, and make our trip across the ground, the megastructures above and neon below both familiar and unnerving when I remember our last time, forced to flee the city from a pissed off, unhinged psion. I just hope there are no more issues this time.

    ¡°Jinxed it...¡± I mutter when we arrive in the lab, and there''s another, new psion, waiting for us with Mejja. Even as we approach across the clinically lit lab, I notice a few things. First, she''s short. Really short. My height.

    Despite that, she''s clearly older, like she''s in her thirties or something, but with a soft, round face and short, fluffy blond hair that makes her look a good deal younger. With this strangely inviting, kind of motherly aura, just like my mom has.

    She''s wearing a pretty simple blue dress, and as we pass through the tables and their piles of unknown tools, she waves and smiles. I smile back.

    ¡°Hi, I''m Mina Allanna,¡± she introduces herself, extending her hand.

    ¡°Seiko Maka,¡± I take it with my own heavy hand, to shake. Her eyes twitch at the touch, then I do the same.

    Something is wrong.

    That''s all I can realize before I''m moving. She jolts as I pull myself forward by our connected hands. It''s feels like I''m falling right at her. She retreats a step, blinking at me rapidly. But all I see is the blank between us, stumbling into it, her, inside.

    ¡°Woah, sorry,¡± I stammer and blink rapidly as I almost run right into her, and pull back, shaking myself free of the strange, foggy feeling. Then I notice our still-locked hands and yank mine away on reflex. ¡°S-sorry,¡± I start to say again, before I lock gazes with her flaring green eyes instantly recognize the heavy weight on me.

    What is she doing?

    I pull back a step and divert my eyes, reminding myself that I shouldn''t be able to see her clearly through her glow. But it''s already too late, she definitely saw. Why is she using her powers in the first place?! I can feel it in the air around me now, so inundated with power that I realize I can pick up on the psionic energy, like right after a flood.

    As soon as I feel it, it all comes to me at once. The meaning resolves, and I understand. My head snaps back to Leona, who''s just watching all of this with her usual, vague concern. I can feel it. It''s something in her head, she can''t properly perceive what''s happening. If I just-

    At a thought, Leona''s eyes turn to slits. ¡°Allanna-san, what are you doing?¡± Leona snarls, her own powers flaring bright. I duck away, behind Leona''s back and peek out to see Allanna''s pretty face contort. She is terrified. Stumbling a dozen steps away, her powers sputter out, and she trips over a crate sticking out from under a bench. Her arms flail, feet slip, and she goes down, but she doesn''t even notice. Allanna scrambles back on all fours.

    ¡°M-M-Mejja-san, what is that thing?!¡± Allanna practically shouts, a finger jabbing out at me. He blinks stupidly, like he''s at a total loss for a few moments.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± he asks, face saying he doesn''t have a single clue.

    ¡°Allanna tried mind-fucking us!¡± Leona outright drops the honorifics as she advances, her powers reaching through the room for the tiny, older psion pressing herself down against the side of a table.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± his brow creases. That''s when I realize, he couldn''t perceive it either, could he? Holy shit, does she just use her powers all the time to keep anyone from realizing she is?

    ¡°M-Mejja-san,¡± I call. ¡°She was stopping everyone from perceiving her powers,¡± I tell him. His mouth falls open slightly, eyes narrowing. I see when he gets it.

    ¡°Allanna-san,¡± he tone goes dark. ¡°Why would you do that?¡±

    ¡°No reason!¡± she cries while ducking her head, but... What? ¡°I just do, you know?¡±

    He crosses his arms over his chest. ¡°No, I do not know.¡±

    ¡°I-I- umm, it''s-¡± she sputters, spinning as she looks back and forth between the two, still sliding slowly away along the table. ¡°Just to smooth things out, you know?¡± Smooth things out? That''s when I recall just a minute ago, our first interaction. How fine I felt with her. I didn''t even hesitate to shake hands. Is that it? She uses her powers to make people like her? And to keep everyone from realizing what she''s doing?

    She''s so distraught, I explain my thoughts to the others, and they''re soon shaking their heads as she sputters agreements that I''ve got it right. Partway through, Leona lets her powers flicker out.

    ¡°Well, I feel like quite the fool,¡± Mejja sighs. ¡°How long have you been doing this?¡± His question holding clear threat if she tries lying.

    ¡°All the time,¡± Allanna admits, deflating. ¡°It''s a habit, it just makes life easier when everyone gets along, when they aren''t always worried about me messing with their heads.¡± Now that I understand...

    Facepalming, Mejja says, ¡°Not worried about you messing with our heads, because you make it so we can''t. Wonderful.¡±

    ¡°H-hey, that''s what happened,¡± Allanna tries defending herself with tears in her eyes, ¡°as a kid, before I started... you know. When someone found out, everyone avoided me. They always thought I might be messing with their heads and blamed things other people did on me. Like I made them do it. My power doesn''t even work like that...¡±

    I grimace. Despite what she did, I can definitely empathize with her there. But... ¡°That doesn''t make it alright,¡± I tell her pointedly. ¡°Just because of your power, you think you can cheat? Force people to like you instead of putting in any work? Instead of showing them you''re actually a decent person? Doing it like that, you''re just proving they were right about you all along.¡±

    Leona knows what I''m really talking about, sharing my grimace as she hisses through her teeth. Allanna clearly catches it, glancing between us. With a long sigh, she pushes up to sit against a table, chastised. ¡°So, what about you?¡± she asks shortly after.

    My eyes narrow slightly. We share a look, just for a moment. Even without words, she''s saying she knows what she saw when we locked eyes. And that I''m hiding it. As soon as that silent communication passes, I instead explain the other part. The one that''s safe to talk about.

    ¡°I''m not sure, psionic powers don''t seem to work on me correctly,¡± I say. Her eyes widen slightly in shock. I would explain but... ¡°Does she know about your...?¡± I ask Leona quietly, referring to her powers, since I know their unique powers aren''t supposed to be shared openly. Hell, apparently that''s what got Allanna bullied as a kid in the first place. Never thought psions had to worry about that kind of stuff...

    Leona returns a curt nod, so I go on. ¡°When Leona tried teleporting me before, it didn''t work right. It was more like I got thrown out of a moving shuttle, and I got seriously injured.¡±

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    ¡°I see, so that''s why...¡± Allanna murmurs. Then she glances Leona''s way. I can see it in her eyes, not only does she recognize I could see through her glow before. She knows I did something to free Leona from her powers too. But she doesn''t say anything, doesn''t mention either of them to Mejja; she just looks at me once more, before lowering her gaze again. ¡°I''m sorry, I just...¡± She shrugs listlessly.

    ¡°Fine fine fine!¡± Mejja suddenly claps his hands loudly and we all jump a little. ¡°We can deal with you later.¡± Allanna visibly shudders and shrinks away when he scowls at her. ¡°I''d like to get on with Maka-san''s scan now.¡± He takes a few steps down from the computer he normally sits at. ¡°Now, I meant to have you make an attempt at altering Maka-san''s mental state while in the scanner to bypass its effects, but if your powers don''t even work on her... Ugh! What a waste!¡± He throws his hands up in defeat.

    Oh, so that was his plan... ¡°Mmm...¡± I mutter. Her powers did work on me at first, didn''t they? What actually happened? Did I like... get accustomed to them or something? I have no idea how to explain what happened.

    I bite my lip, totally lost. I know there was enough power coming off Allanna for me to understand the psionics involved, and do... whatever I did to help Leona, but it''s not like I can tell Mejja about that...

    I give up. For now, I''ll just go along with things and do the scan. If nothing else, it''ll give me plenty of time to think. I head over to the scanner, and Leona moves to join Mejja. ¡°Aahh,¡± he sighs, somewhere between dejected and exasperated. ¡°You know what? Try it anyway,¡± he instructs Allanna with a wave of his hand. ¡°If it doesn''t work, it doesn''t work. Might as well throw one more test at the wall.¡±

    ¡°Ok...¡± She sounds like a whipped dog. Always using her powers, when was the last time she''s dealt with conflict of any kind? I keep that thought to myself while I''m climbing into the scanner.

    Even if she could hide her glow from people by using her power, I wonder what she did to avoid being caught on camera...?

    Once I''m inside, the scanner buzzes to life with its comforting violet glow and perfectly still, dense atmosphere. I wait for a while, either due to the time stretching effect, or maybe Mejja is just taking a while describing what Allanna is supposed to try. Either way, it''s a pretty long wait before I feel her power overlapping with the scanner.

    It''s interesting, actually. I can feel the difference between Allanna''s power, infiltrating from one side of the scanner- my right side, the same direction that faces toward the computer Mejja uses. With so much energy all wrapped around me, I once more feel things sliding into place. The movement, the pressure, the power, it all makes sense again.

    ¡°So strange...¡± I murmur. It''s all so obvious, how do I not understand these feelings the rest of the time? I feel out the poke of Allanna''s power, attempting to alter my mind, a mental manipulation power. The way it''s moving... yes, she''s doing as Mejja said, trying to slow down my perception.

    When her power touches me though, I can feel something unusual from myself. A movement in perfect lock-step with hers, so the two meet in the middle. Am I piggy-backing on her power automatically? In order to cancel hers out? That''s absolutely what it feels like.

    And then there''s the scanner. It''s similar enough to Leona''s that I can tell it''s her power being run through the device. Hence the light being in her color. I don''t think I consciously realized that before.

    Staying very still with my eyes closed like usual, I can feel the way her energy collides with my own, bouncing off to be recorded, a little bit at a time. But there''s another effect encompassing me. It''s definitely the time-slowing effect. Where does that one come from? Me? The scanner? Somewhere else entirely?

    I don''t really know. I can feel it all around me. It takes hours, maybe days, allowing my expanded senses to carefully explore the powers saturating this closed space, trying relentlessly to pick out the details.

    What I find is that ''time-slowing'' isn''t quite the right description. It''s more akin to stasis, the attempt to render time completely null and drag everything to a standstill. However, the effect isn''t on me.

    It''s on everything else.

    How is that even supposed to work? It''s attempting to pause, what, the entire universe...? I guess that the universe itself is just too much? Or there''s something conflicting with the stasis, instead only slowing things partially.

    No matter how much I poke and prod, I still can''t say for certain whether it''s affecting me as well, or if I''m the only one completely unaffected, but I''m leaning toward the former. Like we noticed, I can''t be living through an actual month in here each time, that wouldn''t be physically possible. And slowing everything but me would... probably have the effect of me living through time normally.

    Probably.

    Besides all of that, there''s also the buzz of energy inside me. That must be my PEP, and also the energy still built up inside me. I''m tempted to let it out while I''m able, but of course there would be issues with that. Mostly getting put on that registry as I show psionic powers right in front of Mejja, while literally inside a scanner measuring the stuff.

    And second is that there''s already too much power in here anyway. It''s so flooded with the energy Leona''s pushing through the scanner, I couldn''t do it effectively even if I tried.

    I probably spend half of my month in the box puzzling my way through all of these powers, how they feel, and their associated meanings. At that point, I lie my head back. I could probably attempt to mess with the stasis- no, I''m sure I would be able to mess with the stasis, but again, I can''t do that in front of Mejja.

    And besides, I still don''t know where the thing comes from in the first place. It''s definitely attached to me in some way, but how? Without knowing anything definite, interfering could be absurdly dangerous. It''s a power that''s nearly bringing the entire universe to a halt after all. Not the kind of thing to poke at without a plan.

    The only other thing I really have to consider is how to deal with Allanna. She totally found out about my two secrets, even without a word between us about them. But she didn''t immediately blow either, she held her tongue. Why?

    I don''t have the slightest clue. The only thing I could really do is try talking to her after this.

    After a while longer in the scanner, my time is finished, and they pull me out.

    <hr>

    With my scanning session finished, we head up into the conference room, where Mejja takes his seat, and the despondent Allanna sits nearby. I try not to let my gaze linger on her and pay attention to Mejja.

    ¡°Alright, your scans are fine this time too. You''re looking at another six-ish months before your PEP recovers. There''s just one change, but it''s still hard to say what it means.¡±

    With his explanation, he flips the holographic image up above the table. Allanna, who''s the only one who hasn''t seen it before, gapes at the sprawl of colors.

    ¡°It''s a bit unclear do to the filtering for the excess energy you have built up, but if you look here¡­¡± He expands the image with a flick of his hand, zooming in and pointing at one spot in my shoulder. "You can just start to make out your energy pathways again.¡±

    I¡­ can? If I really squint at it really hard? I tilt my head far to the side. Maybe...?

    ¡°As you can see,¡± he starts, even though I really can''t, ¡°the energies from the psi traces on you have changed your natural energy pathways. I don''t know if the analogy holds, but you can think of it like scar tissue. I also don''t know what, if any, effects it could have. For all we know, it''s why psionic powers already don''t work on you correctly, even though you''re still months out from a full recovery.¡±

    Mejja shrugs, adding, ¡°I have no idea really, these are all just wild guesses on my part. I have years of data to sift through to try and find real explanations for these various phenomena.¡±

    ¡°That''s¡­ well, I guess that''s understandable,¡± I sigh. I really am starting to wish I had some answers. Why don''t psion powers work on me? Why am I sort of a psion, but only sometimes? But only piggybacking other powers, except for when I (if it''s even me doing it!) put myself in a half-ass magical time stasis bubble?

    I''m so confused¡­

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Mejja goes on without warning. ¡°I''m assuming this little cheat''s powers didn''t even work?¡± His tone alone makes Allanna flinch.

    ¡°Yeah, no good,¡± I confirm. ¡°They didn''t work, it still felt like a month long.¡± I¡­ probably shouldn''t mention that I figured out something around me is causing the stasis effect, like some sort of reflex to the scanner¡­ I did find out I could suppress if I tried, so he could get better data that way. But I''d be put on a list for it, so it''s out of the question.

    Ugh, why does this have to be so difficult?

    ¡°Now for you,¡± he finally turns a scowl on the short older woman. ¡°While I would love to have you brought in for abusing your power, it would necessitate an explanation for how it was disrupted in the first place. All I have there, is Maka-chan''s present issues, but roping her into all of that would be bad for our research. But don''t think you''re off the hook, I''ll be holding this over you for a long time to come!¡±

    ¡°I understand¡­¡± is the only reply she can give. After all, she isn''t even being directly punished, for basically brainwashing a ton of people for what, years? Decades?

    ¡°So, I think that''s all, Maka-san.¡± His tone instantly flips back to normal when he addresses me again. ¡°You can go now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± With a silent agreement from Leona, we head for the lift. I glance back at Allanna on the way out, Mejja standing over her with his arms cross. I''m definitely not getting a chance to talk to her now...

    <hr>

    We''re out of the building, walking our long walk back to the transport terminal, when I finally speak up.

    ¡°So¡­ I figured out, umm, kind of a lot from that, I think.¡± When she arches a brow, I explain. ¡°You know how Allanna-san used her powers just outside the scanner? And how I can sort of understand psionics sometimes? It basically gave me a month to figure it all out.¡±

    She blinks. ¡°Oh.¡± She clearly has no idea how to respond beyond that, so I go on.

    ¡°I figured out a bunch of stuff. I don''t quite get it now, but it''s basically right there.¡± I squint as I say it. Having a full month to pick through it, I remember it all intellectually, even with the full depth lost.

    ¡°I''m pretty sure I can piggyback off of your powers any time you activate them around me now. Well, as long as I''m standing close enough, I guess,¡± I add on when I think about it.

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She considers that briefly. ¡°Alright. Do you want to do anything about it? Like I said last time, I started training as soon as I could, to use my powers effectively. Do you care about that, or would you rather not?¡±

    ¡°Mm... Not really. And I''m pretty sure I don''t have any trouble using your powers... for some reason.¡± I squint and tilt my head awkwardly at the thought. ¡°I have no idea how, but piggybacking powers just kind of... works? Anyway, I mostly just wanted you to know what''s going on. I really don''t want to get out on any lists, you know?¡±

    ¡°Fair.¡±

    ¡°Oh, also, I figured out what happens in the scanner.¡±

    Leona''s eyes shoot open at that one. ¡°Why didn''t you mention that first?¡±

    ¡°Uhh¡­¡± It''s not like I have a reason, the other just came to me first, so I shrug. ¡°Sorry, I''m getting to it now?¡± She relents with a little sigh.

    ¡°So, it comes from a stasis type power that basically tries to put everything but me in stasis, but can''t, so it''s a lot like time slowing down. The power definitely comes from me, or something around me, or... something. I can''t even begin to guess why. I''m pretty sure I could control it enough to stop it though.¡± Or at least that''s what I thought at the time. I remember thinking it, even if I have no idea how it would work anymore.

    Not mentioning that, I shake my head slowly and add, ¡°I didn''t because you know, the list.¡±

    ¡°Mm,¡± she nods in understanding.

    ¡°And also, uhh...¡± I gulp, but I obviously have to tell her this. ¡°Allanna-san kinda... figured stuff out...¡±

    ¡°Stuff?¡± she gives me a look, and wring my hands together.

    ¡°She... The auras and piggybacking,¡± I practically mumble, but that''s all I need to say.

    ¡°Wh-¡± Leona sputters. ¡°Why didn''t you mention that first?!¡±

    ¡°Because I can only mention one thing first!¡± I squeak, arms flailing in near panic at her response. She bites thumb anxiously, stalking a few rapid steps ahead as she thinks, before I speak up again. ¡°But Leona, I actually think it''ll be fine.¡± That draws her attention back, pace slowing. ¡°She... I don''t know. She had this look, like she understood that I was hiding it to protect myself. And she didn''t say anything.¡±

    ¡°That''s...¡± Leona searches for words for some time, falling back into step beside me, then plants a hand on my head to rub comfortingly. ¡°You should know that''s not very reassuring, Seiko. I trust you, but I don''t trust her. Let''s at least talk to her, alright? I''ll give her a call later.¡±

    ¡°Thanks Leona.¡±

    Our conversation finally tapers off, back into comfortable silence. We walk for a while longer, arriving at the transport terminal and wait for our shuttle back to school. With all the psion stuff behind me, at least until speaking to Allanna again, it''s time to return to my more mundane worries. Mostly, the coming of summer vacation.

    In just a few weeks, I''ll be going home to see my father again...