《Mombie》


 Life explodes

    The phone on the bedside table buzzed loudly waking me her from my slumber at the crack of dawn. Jamie could hear the sound of the shower running as Brian was getting ready for work. Groaning and wiping the sleep from her eyes, and the droll from her chin, she heard the phone buzz loudly again from her nightstand. She grabbed the phone, swiping it open to get a full view of some woman''s bush. Shocked, her stomach began to roll at how gross this is and who could have sent this to her. That''s when she immediately realized that it wasn''t her phone case. Scrolling up though the messages she read proclamations of love and midnight rendezvous. A better part of their conversations were about herself, picking apart her weight, her quirks and even the color of her hair ties, which this woman apparently had stolen and collected to boast about. The amount of disrespect that happened in her house had the tears streaming from her face and her hands shaking.


    And then there was the ultrasound. After 20 years of marriage, she had lost her chance to have children. After they had been married for three years Brian had decided that children were an extra burden he didn''t want to bear. The amount of work you have to put into raising them would limit the amount of fun times we had as adults. It took me three more years to accept that even adopting children with Brian wouldn''t be an option and Jamie had made peace with that. Her life with Brian had been full of parties and work and dates in the beginning. As they got older the parties and the dates became a lot of staying at home in front of the television and the lack of children always burned a little deep down so Jamie would throw herself into her renovation projects.


    The one thing that was always going right was her career. Jamie had grown up shuffled around the foster care system. She began working though high school at a local Dollar General and worked her way up to management by graduation. After establishing a stable income, Jamie bought herself her first home after graduation, and she worked her way though the renovations before she sold it for a massive profit. After buying and selling a few homes, Jamie quit her management job and became a landlord and a house flipper. It was a lot of work building the business from the ground up. There were a few instances of contractors using subpar materials or not doing the work they were paid for. Once her connections grew, her business began to thrive and Jamie filled her life with tiles and paint instead of children.


    Her stomach was in her feet, her vision was going black and white and her hearing was wavering. She could hear her heart in her ears, but also heard the shower turn off. Jamie quickly scrambled for her phone and took a couple of pictures of the messages in case she was gaslighted again. She had suspicions that things weren''t going right. The dead bedroom for the past few months was a huge red flag but she just figured they were getting older. The man couldn''t even get an erection without pills and his sex drive was never really enough for her either so she had never worried about his loyalty. As she heard the bathroom door shut she exited the app, locked the phone and placed it back on her table shrinking her trembling body back underneath the covers. She wasn''t ready for a confrontation. She wasn''t even sure what she would do at this point.


    Brian''s family had been her new family. His parents threw her a birthday party every year and she talked to his mother like she was her adopted mom. When she had trouble with a recipe, or didn''t know how something works, she always called Brian or his parents. Twenty years of family and love had been chucked into the bin. How could she even look at his parents after this? They had a grandchild on the way. ''Brian found her repulsive and made fun of her with his pregnant lover. There''s no way to make it sound pretty'', she thought to herself.


    The bathroom door opened and Brain began rummaging around the room until he found his phone. Jamie hid under the covers as Brian dressed for work and walked out the door. Jamie threw the covers off and began to frantically wipe at her body. She felt dirty inside and out. She frantically stripped and turned the shower as as she could get it and began to scrub at her body as the water washed away her tears. Every sexual experience she had with him recently felt like rape. She wished the dead bedroom had been entirely dead. She wished she had never met the man. She wasted her youth, her money, and her only chance at her own family connection that she never had when she was growing up. At age 50, if she raised a child now she would be 68 by the time they reached adulthood. And not having any living family members meant if she died that child would have no one. It just wasn''t feasible. Her husband would have the family she always wanted and she would be left alone in the world.


    Jamie sat on the shower floor and let the scolding hot water wash over her aged body. She was beautiful smart and successful but that wasn''t enough for her husband. Even the bed she just slept in was seen defiled by the cheating couple. And how they spoke of her. Old. Fat. Ugly. Annoying. They had whole jokes about how awful of a person she was because of the way a certain outfit looked on her, sharing unflattering photos and talking about how they were using extra money she got from closing a sale to go on a trip that she had thought he had gone on with his friend Anthony. Great friend that is. She guessed all of their friends knew and kept it from her. That''s when she realized she was all alone in this world. All their friends would be his friends and not hers if they knew. Leaving him meant leaving all sense of belonging.


    As the shower water turned cold, Jamie shakingly got up from the shower and dressed in some casual clothes. She stared at her phone realizing she didn''t even have anyone left to call. Her friends were Brians friends. Brians parents weren''t going to be her parents anymore. She grabbed her purse and headed to the liquor store. She couldn''t deal with this sober. Thinking on her future business plans she shot a few texts out to give herself a few days off. It had been years since she had let go and gotten good and sloshed. Approaching the liquor store, she changed her mind and headed to the local dive bar down the road that always seemed to sketchy to try. She just didn''t want to be alone.


    Parking around back, she walked in, ignoring the sticky floor and the sour smell and approached the bartender. Still visibly shaken, she asks for a whiskey.


    "Are you okay?'' he inquired as he filled the glass, pushing it to the shaking woman.


    "Define okay." she answered as she tapped the glass for another.


    He raised his eyebrows. "Sounds like you''re having a rough day." and filled the woman''s glass again.


    "Apparently I''m realizing its more like a rough 20 years." she self mockingly laughed as a small whimper came out of her, staring at the second shot for a moment before pouring it down her throat, hoping the burn would help soothe the dark pit growing inside of her. All of the issues she was about to face were closing in on her.


    "Oh?" he asked, leaning against the bar putting his weight on his elbows, staring at the wreck of a woman.


    "Found out my husband has a mistress, and she''s pregnant too." she choked out as tears began to spill down her cheeks. She frantically wiped at her face and the bartender handed her a towel.


    "Oh sweetheart, don''t cry." he assured her.


    "He was my only family. His friends all knew. I have nothing now.... nothing..." she blubbered as she grabbed the newly filled beer she hadn''t asked for and began to drink it. The bartender laughed because she had actually began drinking his beer.


    "Tomorrow isn''t today. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. At least you know now before you wasted another 20 years of your life on people who don''t appreciate you." he responded as he made himself another beer to drink with the sad woman. He couldn''t believe this beauty had been married for 20 years. She definitely didn''t look her age.


    "I just wish I could delete this morning from my memory, but there''s no way to ignore this until it goes away. Babies don''t go away. I lost everything. And I don''t even know what I did wrong."


    "Stop thinking it''s something you did. People cheat because their selfishness outweighs their respect for you. Good men don''t have time to cheat because they''re busy making their woman happy." he said as he sipped his beer, his eyes unintentionally drifting to the woman''s cleavage. Dave thought to himself, ''If her husband doesn''t want her, I''d gladly take her.''


    Dave had been single for the past few years after he caught his fiance snapchatting his best friend. Apparently it had been going on for years. Fortunately he found out in time to get the wedding deposits back, but the whole thing was a shitshow. He understood the losing of friends and the grieving process. Dave didn''t mind being part of this womans grieving process, if she was up for it. He hadn''t had a woman in about 6 months and for some reason her tear streaked face made his cock twitch. Her puffy red lips and sad eyes made him want to kiss her. The bar wasn''t even actually opened. It was only 8am and he had only came down to grab a coffee and clean up from the night before but had left the front door unlocked when he was airing out the carpets. Dave went ahead and made a management decision and closed the bar for the day.


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    Jamie and Dave spent the next couple hours drinking and talking about everything from Jamie''s husband to Dave''s ex to their careers. Dave was impressed by her success in home rehabilitation. Dave had bought the bar with the intent to flip it but he had a bunch of faulty contractors who ran away with the money. Jamie helped him with contacts and Dave was elated. As the hour pushed into noon, Jamie began to get a handle on her situation and what she needed to do and the talk began to become more flirtatious.


    It''d been a long time since Jamie had responded to flirting. Lately she noticed that her husbands friends had been flirtatious with her but she had thought nothing of it. It made sense that they thought she was fair game since her husband had opened up the marriage without telling her. If he was allowed to date, why couldn''t she? And the more she entertained the idea, the better it seemed. Jamie had never been one to be codependent, but without a family or a home it was hard to not look to him for her sense of self. But now it seemed that life didn''t start and end with Brian. There''s Dave and plenty of other men out there. And the friends who don''t stick around were poisonous to begin with, otherwise they would stick around. Simple logics were laid bare in front of Jamie and before she knew it her lips were on his and her legs were wrapped around his waist.


    Dave carried the woman upstairs to his apartment and their clothes fell off. He spent the next few hours showing her how a woman should climax, something that she had been missing after almost 10 years of faking it since her husband couldn''t last more than 10 minutes with no foreplay. Jamie couldn''t even remember the last time her husband had allowed her to initiate sex, so she had just stopped and began to only engage when he wanted to. There was no fire and passion like when this mans lips were on hers, roaming her body like it was covered in icing. Feeling his tongue inside her was a long lost feeling that her toys could never duplicate. He owned her body, commanded it and played it like a violin. Her entire being was singing by dinnertime.


    As her stomach began to grumble, the weight of what happened that day began to sink in. It was dinnertime, and she was supposed to cook for her husband. She laughed outloud at the thought. The man didn''t cook. He knew how, but he never did. And then he blamed the cost of takeaway on her lack of cooking.


    "What''s so funny?" Dave asked, his deep brown eyes staring into hers, with a half smile splitting his lips.


    "My life.... It''s dinnertime. I''m supposed to be at home cooking for that asshole." she cringed.


    "He doesn''t cook for you?" Dave asked, incredulous. Dave''s parent''s had always split the work at home so that everyone was happy, so he knew he was expected to his share.


    Jamie laughed aloud at that. "Not once in 20 years" she responded with a sad smile.


    "Do you like Italian?" he asked.


    "Who doesn''t?" she replied, "But I need to get home at some point to take care of all this mess."


    He evaded, "Yeah, but that doesn''t have to be right now. Besides doesn''t your phone have location sharing? He probably just thinks you''re at the bar."


    "He probably won''t check either. I guess he''s been so into his mistress that he didn''t even notice when I cut my hair. Something like that should be obvious right? "I don''t know. Everything seems like red flags now. Sorry I keep talking about this. It''s a lot."


    "I understand. Don''t worry, I''ve been there. It''s going to feel like someone died for a long time until you get past this. Besides my bar is right down the street, and I could use an extra... help" he said, suggestively. "But seriously, stay as long as you want. I''ll go cook you dinner because as a man I need to redeem my sex. Men can be great cooks too." She sat up as he got up from the bed and she watched his firm naked body as he slid back into his pants. She whimpered as he pulled them over his ass and he laughed. Pulling his shirt on he leaned over and kissed her head and left for the kitchen.


    Waiting until he left the room, Jamie''s heart was hammering in her chest. She second guessed her entire afternoon and began scrambling for her clothes. She kept bouncing between going home and restoring her sham of a marriage to understanding that the life she was living is actually over and she needs to start again. She had looked at the screenshot text messages all throughout the morning picking every message apart with Dave and even had Dave stalk her social medias to find pictures of her husband with this woman to be sure that there was no other way to explain what she saw. Fortunately her career could always be put on hold. The properties she had tenants in were in her name but it would be a legal hassle if he fought her for them. She huffed and ran her hands through her hair as she put her slid her pants back over her hips. Sliding into her shoes, she eyed the business card for Dave''s divorce lawyer friend, knowing that tomorrow would be a rough day. And fuck dinner. He can bitch about takeaway with his child bride.


    Knowing that she had to face him, and sleep in the same house as him, and actually face him, she began to shiver. Shaking it off, she walked into the man''s living room, headed toward the kitchen.


    "Can you use any help?" she asked.


    "No, go put something on the tv and get comfortable. There''s a netflix button on the remote if you don''t know how to use the system. I''ll be done in a few minutes. Why don''t you give Tom a call? It''s a little late but he''ll answer if you call from my phone. He owes me a few favors that I never had a chance to cash in on. Shoot, if I wipe out his bar tab he''d probably run your case for free haha."


    Jamie nodded, sat down on the couch and pulled out her phone and the business card. Dave rushed nervously about the kitchen. He was a decent cook but he wanted this woman to like his food. He knew it was probably just a one off for her, but he really enjoyed her. All of her. And the feeling she was giving him. "Today was like a big slice of birthday cake." he thought to himself, smiling as he stuffed the manicotti and popped it into the oven. At this point, whether or not it happened again, he was happy that today had happened. And although her life was messy, he''d been single for years and if she came back, he could wait. He leaned on the doorframe looking at the woman talking to his friend on the phone. He was thinking about all the little faces she makes when she''s showing her feelings to people. Especially the ones she made in bed this morning. Thinking the conversation she was having with his friend might get a bit personal, he went back into the kitchen to chop up a quick salad.


    "Supper''s done!" he said as he laid the dishes out on the dining room table. Jamie turned off the tv and almost cried at the food he prepared. She couldn''t remember the last time someone had cooked for her other than at a restaurant. As Brian dished out the manicotti he asked her, "So, what''s next?"


    "Well, I have to move. I have a few houses and one of the tenants who was doing a month to month lease is moving out in a few weeks, which will give me a place to live but in the meantime I guess I have to go back. I don''t want to confront him, I just want out. I feel like the man I lived with all of these years is a stranger. I mean, what if I confront him and he throws me out and moves this woman in and I''m homeless for the next three weeks. I mean, I can afford a hotel but that''s going to eat most of my savings which will hinder my investment plans."


    "You could stay here." he threw out there on a whim. He figured if its just a couple of weeks, it wouldn''t be too much of a commitment for her. She looked up at him shocked. "You don''t even know me."


    He laughed, "I know you enough to want to keep you around. It''s just a couple of weeks anyways. We can see where it goes." he suggested, smiling as his heart beat through his chest. This was impulsive and stupid but he really wanted her to agree.


    "Well I need to get my things from home without him blowing up and breaking everything so I need to leave slowly." she explained, wringing her hands.


    "The more you talk about this guy, the more I want to punch him in the face." he said, frustrated with the man.


    "You and me both." she replied guiltily, sadly looking down at her plate as she played with her food, then put her fork over the leftovers and pushed it away.


    "I want to see you again." he said to her. A smile lit up her face.


    "I''m still married though."


    "He didn''t seem to care. Why should you? You''re leaving him anyways. Here, give me your phone."


    She handed over her phone with a questioning look until he plugged his number into it and his phone lit up as her number rang it. He set her name with a little heart after into his phone as a little smile pressed on his lips. She felt like a kid with her first crush as she blushed to her ears. She had already eaten this man clean but simply exchanging phone numbers was turning her into a tomato.


    "Call me tonight, tomorrow, whenever. As soon or as late as possible. I''ll be there."


    She stood to exit the apartment and he followed her out of the bar and kissed her goodbye. He watched her ass as it swayed back to her car and drove off down the road. Dave smiled and lit a cigarette as he reminisced on his encounter.


    Jamie was happy and sad and scared all at the same time as she drove home. The emotions were crashing in waves and she drove in circles for about an hour as she kept changing her mind about when to go home. As she turned around for the 50th time to head back to her house she started having a mild panic attack. She didn''t even notice when the truck went barreling through the red light and T-boned her Lexus.

 Wading through the stink

    With a start, Jamie woke up in a yellowed room that smelled musty. She could hear the sounds of children crying and her body felt heavy. She sat up abruptly, causing her head to go dizzy and she heard a child scream. Finally realizing the weirdness of the situation, Jamie saw the children at the foot of the bed in the clutter filled room and she asked, "Where am I?"


    The child burrowed himself into her skirt half sobbing half laughing. He clutched her leg like it was his last lifeline.


    "Jared is a LIAR. Mommy''s not DEAD. SHE WOKED UP. LIES!" said the child between laughter and sobs.


    Jamie looked at the other sobbing children wondering what the fuck was going on. Furrowing her brows, all she could remember was driving home from the bar. The alcohol had cleared out of her system by the time she left. Then she remembered the panic attack. Maybe she was in an accident and the kids brought her here. She immediately struck that idea out of her head. Then she looked down at her hand, and felt her body. Freaking out, she slowly pushed the kid off of the stinky clothes on her body and started out the door.


    "Where''s the bathroom? She asked the wide eyed children. The oldest boy was clutching a book with weird glowly writing on it and pointed down the hallway. through more crap piled up on both sides of the hallways. Books, toys, clothes and everything you could need was piled up as tall as she was, and as she got to the bathroom there were even more things stored in there. The mirror was covered in old toothpaste spit but she could still see clearly that the young pudgy face staring back at her in the mirror wasn''t her own. Her fingers were as thick as sausages and her stomach was large enough to lift as it rolled over her pants. Her face and hair looked like they hadn''t been washed in a month and her body smelled like death. Jamie sat there in shock. No wonder everything smelled so bad. This body had died. She put my fingers against her throat and felt for a pulse. Finding one, she sighed in relief. Poking about her face and body, Little Caleb grabbed her leg again. "Mommy? Are you okay?" he asked with his dirty tear streaked face.


    "Yeah, why don''t you know where the bathroom is?" Ten year old Katie asked aloud, then whispered to her brother, although Jamie could still hear them, "What''s wrong with Mom, Jared? You said you fixed her?"


    Pushing the sobbing five year old away, Jamie wiped his dirty face, calming him.


    "Well aren''t we a mess. Lets all get ourselves cleaned up. Any filthier and we could be worms!" she said as she tickled Caleb''s armpits in an attempt to diffuse the situation. He rubbed his snotty nose and giggled. Looking up at the boy with the strange book named Jared, Jamie asked him quietly, "Jared. I assume you have something to do with me waking up like this?"


    "Yes ma''am." he choked out as he looked up into the face of his mother, who was addressing him like he was a stranger. He had no idea what he had done. He found this book at the library, and it talked about rebirth. He found it a few days before his mother overdosed, and after he found her, the book showed up in his mother''s room. His mother hadn''t left the house in over a month so he was scared.


    The shower was one of the only parts of the house that didn''t have things stacked up inside of it. Jamie told the children she wouldn''t talk with them until they all had bathed. They all shared one clean towel, something that was to be remedied once she waded through all the stacked up stuff. Although the body she was in currently smelled like a corpse, these poor child probably hadn''t washed since his mother passed who knows when. Jamie turned the shower on only to find that there was no hot water. The shower really looked like it had never been cleaned and there were mouse droppings in the corner. This home was really gross. The whole place rank of ammonia and B.O. as well. Jamie pushed open the bathroom window to get a brief respite and began to scrub the tub until it was passable. Drawing a cold bath, she went to the kitchen and washed a pot to boil water. The kitchen looked like the dishes hadn''t been washed, like, ever. Each room she passed seemed worse than the last. There was barely room to walk down the hallways. How this woman didn''t lose these children to the state is beyond her knowledge. After boiling a few pots of water she tested the temperature and let the little boy get in.


    While Caleb was in the tub, Jared hunted down a couple cleanish bedsheets that would have to work as a towels to dry off Caleb. Then it took another 30 minutes to find a cleanish outfit for the children to each change into. The whole house was just piled full of mess. Each new pile was another marathon. While he was soaking she checked out the state of the refrigerator and realized it needed cleaning as much as everything else. Half of the contents of the refrigerator was boxed wine and the other half was leftover take out food that had been picked over. I found a box of pancake mix that looked like it had been purchased years ago and a box of stashed chocolate above the fridge. These kids looked like they were starving to death and this woman had a stash of chocolate. Not wanting to put her gross hands on the food, she retreated to the bathroom to dry off the little one and get him dressed. All this running around was making her head spin and my lungs pant. It was trouble having to adapt to moving around in such a heavy body.


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    After I took care of Caleb''s bath, Katie began hers and Jamie shooed him down the hall to watch TV. Jared was still clutching the weird book while staring at his mother, trembling. Jamie wasn''t sure why he was scared and she didn''t want to frighten the small children so she waited to talk with the 13 year old alone, since the book he was clutching was glowing and that''s not normal.


    "Mom?" asked Jared, looking at her, part hopeful, part scared, and part sad. Jamie had pondered on how to approach the children to ask them questions about what her life is now without scaring them. This whole house seemed like a deathtrap. She felt like she woke up in a video game on hard mode. The only answers were with a 13 year old child and a book that is either supernaturally glowing or lit up with LED lights.


    "I''ve lost my memory. We probably have to go to the hospital. Do I have a wallet?"


    "Don''t go to the hospital!" Jared panicked, "Your wallet is in your purse hanging by the door." he said as he started walking towards it.


    "Wait, what''s the book?" Jamie asked the boy. He was so startled that he dropped it, then picked it up only to drop it again. Jamie walked over and took it from him. As both hands touched the book, it flashed and a tattoo of a book appeared on her left wrist and Jared fainted at the sight.


    As she woke him he asked, "What happened? Where''s the book?" and looked everywhere for the book that woke his mom.


    "What are you talking about? What book?" she tried to play it off like it wasn''t bothering her that a random book tattooed itself to her wrist. The boy was only 13 and he didn''t need this kid of burden on his shoulders. He looked at her like she was crazy, then he looked around and at his lap wondering if he was crazy.


    "It''s been a long day. I think I slept for too long. I really don''t have any memory so I should go to a doctor to be safe." she explained to Jared again. Jared stood there in a daze wondering if he had imagined the past 48 hours. ''Maybe mom really was just sleeping?'' he thought as he started boiling water for a change of bathwater.


    Jamie finally let out the water and started the process of heating her own new bath. She got her new body into the tub and washed everything with vinegar and baking soda and cold water, just to make sure she didn''t have the smell of death on her anymore. She checked her body for every line, every scar, every curve just so she would know her new self a little better. Then she scrubbed with some of the shampoo-water that was left in the bottle until she smelled human again. The amount of dirt that had gone down that drain was incredible. Wrapping herself in the bedsheet she began the next journey of finding clothes for herself, which was harder than it looked. Half of the clothes piled up around the house were in increasing sizes as the piles got higher. The ones the furthest to the top were the closest to fitting. Well now sheI had a goal. If she could just get this house cleaned up, she could probably fit into the smaller sizes again. The task seemed so monstrous. No wonder this lady took to drinking. Jamie still just couldn''t condone what this mother had put these children through. After finding a sizable tshirt and sweatpants, she went to the kitchen and washed enough dishes to clean off the stove. After getting that area done she cooked the kids up some pancakes. Unfortunately the dining room table was covered in paperwork that she wasn''t sure whether or not was important. Jamie spent the next ten minutes moving all of the paperwork into garbage bags just to make room for a meal. As she was moving things she saw a mouse run through the kitchen and she screamed. All the hair on her body stood on end. One thing at a time.


    "I made chocolate chip pancakes. Come out if you''re hungry!" she yelled down the hallway. Caleb had planned on cooking with me but when I started cleaning he made himself scarce. He came barreling down the hallway in glee. "PANCAKES MOMMY? YOU MADE THEM ALL BY YOURSELF?" he yelled happily as he sat at the table.


    "KATIE YOU CAN SEE THE TABLE AAAAND THERES PANCAKES WITH CHOCOLATE IN THEM!" yelled Caleb from the table.


    A hallway door cracked open and a little girls eye peeped through. "Are they poisoned?" she asked.


    Caleb took a big bite of a pancake and yelled "NOPE!"


    Katie crept out of her room and slunk into her seat at the table avoiding all contact with her. The table was quiet as the children scarfed down the first decent food they had in days. As the children ate, she poured them all glasses of kool aid with splenda because that was the only kind of sweetener she could find. She guessed at some point this lady tried to diet and it just sat in there. Blergh. Don''t judge. Everyone has their own battle to fight. This one looks like stress and depression.


    After the kids finished eating, Jamie sent the children to their bedrooms since it was getting late.  Their beds were a little dirty, but they were all dragging their feet and they each had school in the morning. Since the bathroom was such a mess and the kids had no toothbrushes, she sent them straight to bed and began to make a list of things she had to get the children somehow. Jamie was feeling completely overwhelmed with the amount of things she had to organize in order to get this life together and not wind up jailed in this body for neglect.  She hadn''t even had a chance to have a full and complete mental breakdown she deserved.  She had boiled another couple pots of water and had finished the dishes in the kitchen, Unfortunately she couldn''t put them away because the cabinets needed to be wiped down. It had been a solid 6 hours of cleaning until she finally got everything scrubbed. As she began to work on a pile of junk that was in the corner of the kitchen, the book tattoo on her wrist flashed and the entire pile disappeared, only leaving he white patch of untouched tiles the things were sitting on.