ã€ŠVanisherã€‹


 Prologue: The Leap

    They had been activated. The time had come to leave everything behind, and now they were standing on the apartment balcony.

    ---

    A gunshot had rung off the back of the master''s head. Had scraped away the skin and then bounced off the steel plate. Her short hair had been mangled by the blast and impact of heavy, military grade ammunition from and M249 light machine gun. And then she''d turned around and smashed her forehead into the man that had shot her at nearly point blank range and knocked him out cold. The mercenaries may have opened fire on everyone, but they were there for her.

    Before anyone knew what was happening. Before the shooting had even stopped, she was in her car drifting around the narrow walkways of the outdoor sections of the indoor-outdoor mall. And she had called out to her students. Two words. And they followed her immediately.

    "It''s time."

    They had gone up to the apartment. Never mind the erratic and wild drive there, drifting around corners and through busy city intersections. Sara had raced up first and started ripping up papers and pouring grain alcohol on everything they needed to leave behind like a mobster pouring gasoline in a recently dead man''s house. Connor was already on the balcony. Josh followed nervously.

    The master had already left. Gone her own way to keep them safe and give them the time they needed. And when Connor started with his laptop, part of Josh''s stomach sank. The large black rectangle that represented nearly everything his friend and roommate had accomplished in his college degree went flying into the open air. Then his phone.

    Josh started to follow him. His phone first. And he felt all of his connections to his family go into the abyss. He thought of the first time he had said hello to everyone on his contacts list. Said hi to his mother and father, his sisters, his little brother. To Sara, to Connor. Every awkward first text and every unexpected final text.

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    Connor already had his wallet out. He was tossing business cards, flash drives, credit cards, all of it, one by one. Josh knew what that meant. Apprehension. They were his stability. He could do all his work, all his connections again. But he couldn''t do that to money or to his identity. At least not the normal way. Not the way he''d already done it.

    Josh took out his own wallet and something similar happened. The first credit card was easy enough. The business cards were fine. The empty business card style flash drive he''d kept in his wallet for years was easy. It was empty after all. The wallet itself he was more attached to, but even that drifted away. The only thing that hurt were the marks on his arm, aching like raw skin still. Even as he threw away his life.

    Somewhere between hearing the voice of every bank teller and DMV worker saying hello to him as he threw their respective documents and identifying items into the abyss of the city below them and staring out into the city below, Connor had jumped and begun to vanished into the night. And it hurt his heart. What if it had all been a lie? His roommate had made the final decision so quietly that Josh hadn''t noticed in time to react. He hadn''t really even realized that he''d watched him prepare out of the corner of his vision. He''d stepped out of his shoes and then, barefoot, he''d run and jumped and plunged into the open air.

    Josh froze. He knew Sara had probably already made it out a window. He could already smell smoke from the apartment behind him. They were both on their way and he still had a half full wallet in his hands. And the marks on his arm hurt. They ached. He was amazed that it was that moment that made him hesitate. After everything. It was then that he felt the fear of what it was he was losing.

    He watched Connor drift away like he was in slow motion. Free falling, gliding like an extreme sports junky leaping off a cliff with a glide suite and a go pro. But there was no glide suite. Connor was descending so quickly he looked like he had grown two sets of arms from that angle and was gliding on wings made of human arms as he shifted from moving off and away more than down. But still down.

    Josh flexed his arm one more time. It was a casual motion he had taken countless times before, before he had felt the ache of the marks on his skin. It had become a ritual since then, a  stretch to try and relieve the pain. The pain of the marks that Sara had put there. That the master had let her put there.

    He hadn''t even noticed that he had tossed his whole wallet. That he''d taken off his shoes. That they were tumbling off now him. The only thing he felt was fear as his stomach plunged deep into his chest and he jumped.

    And then the marks stopped hurting.

 Ch.1 Potential Encounter

    I have spent far too long agonizing over how I have lost. How I have lost games. How I have lost time. How I have lost the things that I haven¡¯t even noticed are gone. And how I have lost people.

    Not like a parent loses their child at the department store when they duck under a clothing rack to surprise you later. But how you lose track of people. How you lose the connection you built with them. Your friends are treasures. But hours can become days, and then weeks, and then months, and then who¡¯s to say which of you is at fault for not keeping in touch with the other. Whose job is it then to close the gap?

    Neither of you know. So you lose them. And they lose you. But who¡¯s to say that the other person misses you like you miss them? Do they agonize over that loss like you do? Or do you merely disappear to them? And, like so much loose change and your mother¡¯s car keys, vanish?

    Elizabeth Bishop wrote that losing was an art, and an easy one to master. That things collected are often filled with the apparent intent to be lost on their own. That loss is, in essential, a state of elastic potential energy. A taut rubber band waiting to be whipped off a finger tip into and unknown corner of the room. But it is never a rubber band. It is never just the car keys. It¡¯s time. It¡¯s love. It¡¯s people.

    You don¡¯t simply stay close to your friends. You cling to them like you both have a resistance band around your waist and you¡¯ve stretched out to be with this other person, and they¡¯ve stretched their limits to be with you, and now you both must exert effort or the band will draw you back and away from them.

    I¡¯m sure you can tell that I really do agonize over it. My arms are weak, and while I enjoy the embrace, I cannot hold on for very long. I need stronger arms to take over on the other side when mine give out. And those are few and far between. And so, I agonize. I fret over ever loss. And I have many. I remember them all. Their voices, their personalities, everything they tell me that matters.

    But I have spent so much time fretting over the losses, the vanished people, that I have forgotten how I grew close to them in the first place.

    Did I meet them at the store? On a weekend? Was the first thing I noticed something small? What day was it? What did I say?

    Was it, ¡°I heard you were looking for some help?¡±

    Did she tilt her head to the side and smile? Was she beaming back at me like I was the answer to an unspoken prayer? That would have been too much right? Maybe it was an exaggeration.

    ¡°You were listening in on my conversation during class?¡± She was smiling. She was accusatory. And she was smiling. ¡°That¡¯s lovely. I¡¯m glad you did. Charlotte was not going to help me, I could feel it. I love her, but I think the feeling is one sided.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just meet her today?¡± I was caught off guard.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± There was a sigh in her voice. Disappointment, but an optimistic sort of disappointment. She knew better now. ¡°But you overheard me saying that I need help moving boxes up to my new apartment. So, you can help me, right?¡±

    I was confounded. Flabbergasted. Probably three other things that mean the same thing too. I had never met someone so positive before. I could see Charlotte giving Sara a weird look as she walked away further down the hallway and out the door towards the rest of campus. Sara was right. It was a one sided feeling that she¡¯d felt. Not everyone clicks immediately. Most people don¡¯t. Did I say something like that then?

    ¡°So, you¡¯re free this weekend, right Josh?¡± Her smile was toothy and going from ear to ear.

    And she had leaned down with her hands clasped behind her back so she could be sure to look up into his eyes. She needed to be sure that Josh was looking, that he could see her smile. And he did. He saw other things too. That was the danger of leaning forward towards someone just slightly taller than you when you wear a loose fitting tee shirt. But it couldn¡¯t be helped. She didn¡¯t care.

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    There was too much golden blond hair for Josh to really understand what he was looking at. Long golden blond waves of hair, waving back and forth in front of his view. And then he did see her smile. It was honest, eager, and genuine. Like a child¡¯s smile. Maybe a hint of a smirk that spoke to a knowledge of her position and what she was showing. But mostly, it was hopeful. There was no denying it. Sara wanted to be friends with him. Friends at least. And for Josh, it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him since he¡¯d started college.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m free¡­¡± Which was mostly true. ¡°You said you need help moving into your new apartment?¡±

    There was a huge grin on Sara¡¯s face as soon as she heard any hint of a yes. ¡°I¡¯m Sara by the way.¡±

    She held her hand out to shake his, becoming, all of the sudden, a very serious negotiator. And it was awkward, to Josh at least, but he shook her hand and felt distinctly that the awkwardness of the interaction didn¡¯t matter any more. It was an unfamiliar feeling for him.

    ¡°Meet me at the entrance to the Clark street dorms at¡­ ten o¡¯ clock.¡± Sara¡¯s grin was goofy and infectious, Josh couldn¡¯t help but smile back. ¡°And bring some clothes you don¡¯t mind getting messy.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll be there.¡± Josh stammered as Sara waved goodbye and made her way to wherever it was that interesting and chatty people go when they stop chatting with you.

    That was how Josh thought of it. The second she turned the corner down the hall, she could have been going anywhere. She could be getting lunch, going to her next class, maybe she had a part time job. It was still day one of classes, so the campus was still in chaos. And who knows what would have happened if he hadn¡¯t signed up for that elective credit. He definitely wouldn¡¯t have come back to it later and learned more about ¡®stars, planets, & life¡¯ and he was glad he was experiencing it now. Even if it had nothing to do with law, critical thinking, or communication.

    But who was he to say that it wouldn¡¯t be a relevant class. This was only his second year. He still had general studies and electives to do before he got into anything serious.

    ¡°Did she just say that she loved that other girl?¡± A hand clamped down on Josh¡¯s shoulder and, after a moment of being caught off guard and startled, he recognized the voice of his roommate.

    ¡°I mean¡­¡± Josh shrugged, unable to adequately answer the question.

    ¡°Whatever.¡± Kerry shrugged back. ¡°What did I tell you. Pretty girls are all about astrology and they think this class is the best. That¡¯s why I audit it the first week every semester. These girls are going to go to frats and disappear from the social circles of the school by week three, so you have to get to know them fast.¡±

    Kerry gave Josh a pat on the back for good measure before leaning to the side to watch another girl leave the classroom. He gave her a grin and a casual nod while he swept his curly blonde hair back and seemed exceptionally satisfied when the girl glanced at him and brushed her own long auburn hair off her shoulder.

    ¡°See. Pretty girls.¡± He grinned, giving Josh another loud pat on the back. ¡°And they like astrology, so you can just tell them your birthday and they know right then and there if they¡¯ll sleep with you. Just gotta find one with the right star sign.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s disgusting, Kerry.¡± Josh sighed. ¡°But if you actually want to try, that girl, Sara, she¡¯s moving into a new apartment on Saturday and asked for help. Good chance to show off some lifting strength, right?¡±

    ¡°I mean, if you wanna lift boxes up ten flights of stairs for hours on end. Have at it.¡± Kerry shrugged, making the motions to indicate he needed to head to another class. ¡°And it¡¯s not like I¡¯m gonna get in your way if you wanna make a move on her. I don¡¯t compete for girls, not with bros.¡±

    Kerry always talked like that. Like there was some kind of bizarre type of chivalric code he was bound to follow that demanded he go out and get laid on a near weekly basis (though he rarely succeeded) but never if it meant ruining a friendship. And for the most part, Josh appreciated that part of his roommate¡¯s personality. He was always willing to offer dating advice, and he definitely had the experience to back it up. But sometimes that bro code personality covered up the fact that Kerry was actually scary smart and that seemed like a waste. If Josh had to choose between being successful with women and being intelligent, he¡¯d choose intelligence every day. Not like getting laid will get me a job at a good law firm was what he kept telling himself; but sometimes he really had to convince himself that it was true.

    There was a buzz on his watch as Josh remembered that he still had one more class to get to before he was done for the day. He had to shake his head to get out of his own thoughts, but with a solid shake, and light tap on his cheek that he was glad no one else in the hallway saw or heard, he made his way towards the stairs and on towards his final destination for the day. Utterly clueless as to how monumentally influential on his life the interactions he had just experienced would be.

 Ch.2 Potential Parent

    Saturday came quickly. Quickly in a way that doesn¡¯t often happen. Often one looks forward to the end of the day with anticipation and it feels as though it takes several days worth of waiting for that end to come. Perhaps this law of waiting applies more to closer events, or events which contain no anxiety and for which one has only eager anticipation and conviction to act appropriately when they arrive. Any high school student could tell you, for instance, that the time between the start of their last class of the day and the time at which the bell rings and then the time at which they are allowed to leave are all exaggerated and excruciatingly long periods of time that add up to well over their actual time. But, conversely, a dreaded event, or an event about which one is uncertain, tends to approach much more quickly.

    This is all to say, that though the day which Josh had been invited to help Sara move into her new apartment came sooner than expected and Josh himself was uncertain why exactly that seemed to be. He was not nervous about it, and in fact expected very little to happen as a consequence of his help. There was a small possibility he could earn a date with Sara, which was part of his motivation, but there was also a general curiosity about this girl. It was unclear who she was, shy she seemed to be so unerringly happy, and why she had asked him for help at all.

    It had only been a short walk for Josh. Or it seemed short. Josh lived in the boys only dorms on the other side of campus. It was a complicated few blocks to cross from there to the mixed dorms, but the streets were all so familiar that it felt like a shorter walk than it was. Consequently, Josh arrived at the steps of the designated dorms exactly at ten o¡¯ clock.

    A particularly tall younger looking male student walked past Josh, giving him a look of what felt like mild disgust. Josh didn¡¯t pay it much mind, some people were just mean or having a bad day and that was none of his business. But the encounter was unnerving for a reason Josh couldn¡¯t quite place. It felt personal and informed, even when it had no right to be. But Josh ignored it and waited. He would wait, he decided, for thirty minutes.

    After twenty one minutes, Sara exited the front door of the dorms. Her appearance was a relief but also concerning. She had been specific about the time, and yet Josh had been waiting on her. It gave him a bad impression of how Sara scheduled her time.

    ¡°Oh my goodness, have you been waiting out here this whole time?¡± Sara¡¯s voice, despite the impression she¡¯d made, was genuine and apologetic.

    ¡°Just a little while.¡± Josh fumbled with his words. ¡°Almost thought you meant to say somewhere else¡­ or maybe it was tomorrow. You said weekend, not Saturday, so I kind of guessed.¡±

    ¡°Did I? Huh.¡± Sara scrunched up her face in an attempt to remember, but the gesture was almost entirely superficial. ¡°Well, I meant today. I¡¯m just a little late. My roommate and I spent all last night putting things in boxes, and we didn¡¯t realize we packed up most of our food and plates and things. So they left a while ago to pick something up and they got back with donuts a bit late¡­ so, that¡¯s why you waited¡­ I guess.¡±

    There was an awkward pause.

    ¡°So, Josh, you want a donut?¡± Sara raised and waggled a goofy eyebrow.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± It felt like he had saved up all the air in his lungs since he¡¯d talked last and let it all go at once. ¡°That sounds nice¡­ lead the way.¡±

    Josh awkwardly signaled for Sara to go ahead of him back into the dorm so that he could follow. He¡¯d never actually been in these dorms, though he¡¯d seen pictures from the housing website for campus. They had been intimidating for him, since most students seemed to think of these dorms as a means of finding a sexual partner that would be randomly selected for you. Like a blind dating service. That was the interpretation from the outside at least, what he experienced on the inside was extremely underwhelming.

    The dorm seemed to be constructed in the same way as his building was. Everything from the lighting fixtures to the carpet seemed to be the same. The only thing that was obviously different were the split communal bathrooms, which made sense. The school could hardly be eager to encourage men and women to share the same showers and bathrooms. The more Josh saw of the dorms, the more he realized that he had gotten in over his head. It took him several flights of stairs to realize that he had agreed to help move someone¡¯s things from one upper floor apartment to potentially another upper floor apartment with no guarantee of working elevators.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s just the fifth floor.¡± Sara¡¯s words were hardly comforting.

    The fifth floor meant that, without an elevator, there would be multiple trips up and down five flights of stairs and then who knew how many flights of stairs potentially at whatever place she was moving in to. That was not a workout that Josh wanted to participate in, but it was too late now. He had already agreed to help, and worse, he was already finding himself on the fifth floor of the building and leaving from there would be a very obvious departure.

    ¡°So, here it is. The mess.¡± Sara stopped in front of an open dorm room and gestured wildly into the door as she spoke. ¡°Ooh, and there¡¯s some donuts left if you want one, I forgot to mention that.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re gluten free¡­¡± a male voice from within the dorm started, but then the voices owner and Josh locked eyes and the sentence was not finished.

    Just inside the room, amid a pile of boxes and with a very plain looking donut in hand, was the guy that had passed in front of Josh earlier that morning and given him a very judgemental look. It was strange, to Josh, that he remembered this person at all given how brief the exchange was and how detached from any sort of real interaction it had been. But for some reason the feeling returned when their eyes met.

    Sara sighed a deep and slightly embarrassed sigh. ¡°Connor, what the hell are you doing?¡±

    ¡°He looks like a creep.¡± Connor¡¯s words were cutting.

    The words had no basis, but they hurt. Josh felt a sudden and intense sadness upon hearing this strangers opinion. He hated himself for feeling it, and he couldn¡¯t explain it, but it was terrible. He had offered to help in his free time, he had stayed knowing full well it would be a hassle, and he was called a creep. For what?

    ¡°Nah. He¡¯s fine. He passed the shirt test.¡± Sara shrugged. ¡°He only took one look too, so he passed with an A.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Connor¡¯s look instantly changed to a more friendly countenance. ¡°Good job dude. Have a donut.¡±

    Connor, without any hesitation tossed a brown paper bag with three donuts to Josh and then turned to share a pointed look with Sara. What transpired between them was something of an extremely quick but succinct conversation of glances. One gesture on Connor¡¯s part, combined with a questioning look, and a head shake and shrug with a look of uncertainty from Sara. That was all they needed to say to each other, and they understood without a word spoken. What¡¯s more, Josh didn¡¯t see any of it. He was too busy catching the bag of donuts.

    There was a moment of confusion. Josh found himself the center of attention as he held the bag of donuts. He had never been in a situation like that before, going from one extreme to another in a way that didn¡¯t seem to have a reason or a way to respond.

    ¡°What do¡­ what?¡± Josh muttered in confusion.

    ¡°Dude. Just eat a donut. We¡¯re weird and we don¡¯t socialize well.¡± Connor slapped Josh on the shoulder as he turned to the mess of boxes in the dorm. ¡°Or you can even leave if you want. But, it¡¯d be a dick move.¡±

    Josh turned his attention to Sara, but she was grinning like an idiot. She was as cheerful as ever and giving Josh two thumbs up.

    ¡°Sorry he¡¯s so weird, but you¡¯re doing great.¡± Sara hissed under her breath, her voice fully of support. ¡°This is a good first impression.¡±

    Without knowing how else to respond, Josh reached into the bag and pulled out a donut. It was delicious. For the few second it took him to eat it, he didn¡¯t mind that he¡¯d essentially been bullied into doing so. And after he was done, the interaction felt less weird. He¡¯d had time to think things over, and he¡¯d come to the conclusion that anything was weird if you thought about it enough. And even though Sara and Connor were acting weird, they were being very honest. Even though they were behaving strangely, like they might not be well psychologically, they clearly didn¡¯t have any ulterior motives or bad intentions. Sara still had that aura about her, that vibration that sent out the signal that she wanted to be friends. And Connor, though Josh was having an incredibly hard time figuring him out, seemed very uncomplicated and sincere.

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    With all the thinking ad donut sugar rushing through his body, Josh hardly noticed that he was starting to pick up boxes and carry them down to the bottom floor of the building. He just was. And it felt nice to help. And at some point, after making two trips down to the front lobby of the dorm on the ground floor, Josh realized that they weren¡¯t actually loading boxes into a moving truck or a car or anything like that. They were just stacking boxes on a different floor. And the number of boxes was surprisingly large, much larger than it had initially appeared. These dorms weren¡¯t just a small room with two bunk bed desks, they had closet space and a small meal preparation space and desk space and space for storage under beds. The rooms were actually somewhat bigger than the dorms that Josh lived in.

    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Josh called out to Sara as she reached the bottom floor of the door with a stack of boxes in her arms. ¡°Where¡­ where¡¯s your new place? Shouldn¡¯t we be getting all this in a truck?¡±

    Sara, for once, did not seem enthusiastic. In fact, she almost looked a little worried. ¡°Oh. Right. My¡­ uh¡­ my mom¡­ is coming by with a truck. She should be here soon. But you can leave before that¡­ if you want. The new place has a freight elevator and my mom is going to stick around to help unpack and¡­ stuff.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± The elevator made it sound like the place was interesting, maybe even a little upscale. It definitely piqued Josh¡¯s curiosity, as did the strange tone that had arisen from the topic. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m free to stick around. I cleared my day out to help. And no offense, but Connor is starting to look a little pale.¡±

    Connor, who had just made his way down the stairs one more time with several boxes in hand, did indeed look pale. He was winded from the constant slow motion and dodging around other students on the stairs. He had started out energized, but it had not lasted very long.

    ¡°Maybe we should take a five minute break¡­¡± Connor muttered through deep breaths, though he was trying very hard to keep the severity of his windedness under wraps. ¡°You know. Wait for Margot to show up. And she can carry stuff down.¡±

    Sara shot Connor a devilish look, one of both mischief and revenge. ¡°Okay then. Would you go back up and lock the door so we can all wait down here where half of our things are?¡±

    Connor, who was not very happy, took one deep breath and turned back to the stairwell. ¡°You¡¯re lucky that I like you.¡±

    For a moment, as Connor walked away, Josh wondered how much the two liked each other. Sara and Connor were roommates, but they acted like they were best friends, maybe even siblings. But they had chemistry too; there were clearly on the same wavelength¡ªif not when Josh had been properly introduced, then certainly every time the two of them had shifted around each other in the confined space of the dorm and never once bumping into each other.

    But as soon as Connor was out of view, something else stuck to Josh¡¯s mind. Something that seemed so mundane and could have easily been explained away, but that seemed very intentional. Why had Connor called Sara¡¯s mom by her first name? Or was that what had happened? Josh was assuming that ¡°Margot¡± was Sara¡¯s mom, but it very easily could have not been. And even if it was, that could have just been a part of the relationship that they shared. It wasn¡¯t entirely uncommon for friends to call each others parents by their first names, particularly if they were trying to assert themselves as adults. But it was still strange. The familiarity that Sara and Connor seemed to have with each other felt like a friendship forged over years, long enough to have gone back into middle school or maybe even longer, and that didn¡¯t seem like the kind of relationship where you called each others parents by their first names. At least, not to Josh. And while it could be explained away, it was still stuck in his head that something else was going on.

    ¡°You look like you can see into the fourth dimension.¡± Sara, who had gotten very close to Josh¡¯s face as he had begun to stare into the distance, sounded almost impressed by the vacancy in his stare. There was definitely a hint of disappointment as the comment snapped him back into reality. ¡°What¡¯s eatin¡¯ ya?¡±

    Not wanting to admit that he had just given as much thought as he just had to the way that Connor had spoken, he tried to shrug the question off. ¡°Nothing. Just¡­ I think maybe that donut is starting to wear off.¡±

    ¡°Oh. You know what that means.¡± Sara took a step back and held out the paper bag that still had one more donut left. ¡°You need more.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to get me on a sugar high at¡­ oh jeez it¡¯s almost lunch.¡± Josh had just checked his watch.

    And looking to the pile of boxes that had grown next to where they were standing, he was also taken aback by how much they had accomplished. It hadn¡¯t felt like a lot in the moment, but a five minute break seemed to give it all perspective.

    That moment of perspective was burst like a soap bubble as a woman who neither Josh nor Sara had seen approach jumped out and grabbed Sara by the shoulders. Sara was startled, Josh jumped.

    ¡°Oh my gosh¡­ ma-mom,¡± Sara stuttered, nearly saying something else before correcting herself to say mom, ¡°you can¡¯t just scare me like that in public. People might think you¡¯re trying to kidnap me or something.¡±

    ¡°If I was going to kidnap you, sweet-pea, I wouldn¡¯t be so loud.¡± The woman gave a huge grin before laughing.

    Sara laughed too, but less loudly.

    Josh gathered that this was a common occurrence. Or at least he hoped it was semi-normal¡­ or maybe hoped wasn¡¯t the right word. In the wrong context, he could see it being a recurring event in a cycle of abuse, scaring your child by sneaking up on them. But it could also be a game. That was a better hope. A familiar game they were both willing participants in.

    ¡°And who¡¯s this?¡± Sara¡¯s mom tilted her head in Josh¡¯s direction as if just noticing him. ¡°Is he¡­?¡±

    Her voice trailed off as she gave Josh an assessing look, as if sizing him up. It made Josh uncomfortable, like he was being given a value of some kind based on his appearance.

    ¡°Oh, no.¡± Sara stammered, still smiling, but now blushing heavily as well. ¡°No. This is Josh. I asked a lot of people to help me move and he was the only one that agreed to help and then showed up. And Connor approves of him too, so I trust him.¡±

    Sara¡¯s mom nodded, as though Connor¡¯s approval meant more than her daughter¡¯s.

    ¡°Josh,¡± Sara turned to speak to him directly, ¡°this is my mom, Margot.¡±

    With a proper introduction Josh made an assessment of his own of the woman. It only seemed fair after she¡¯d looked him over so directly. Josh elected to be more subtle of course, keeping eye contact while offer to shake her hand, but also giving strategically timed glances at her person when she looked to Sara.

    This woman, Sara¡¯s mom¡­ Margot, the strangest thing about her was that she hardly looked older than Sara herself. If Josh had to guess, he would say she was maybe in her late thirties¡­ maybe. And that observation alone led to a cascade of speculation. When had Margot had Sara, was she the result of a high school romance and teen pregnancy? Was she adopted? They seemed very informal, so either could be the case. But then there was more as well. Margot¡¯s attire seemed out of place for someone in a maternal role. She was wearing what looked like legitimate military style camo pants and a black tank top like a marine straight out of a movie, she even had the ball cap on that hid her hair. And she looked sturdy. That was the best way Josh could put it. Not muscular, not at all, but she had perfect posture and a confident stance to her; it made it seem like she was prepared to twitch and catch an oncoming projectile at any moment.

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you, Josh. And thank you for helping my daughter.¡± Margot accepted the hand shake, revealing a very firm grip.

    ¡°She¡¯s nice and it¡¯s been easy enough work.¡± Josh forced a polite smile. ¡°And she gave me a donut, and that doesn¡¯t hurt.¡±

    Margot frowned. ¡°Just one donut? You¡¯re not paying him anything?¡±

    ¡°I already ate, ma¡¯am. And I don¡¯t need the money.¡± The first part of that statement was true, the second part was a blatant lie. A polite lie, but still a lie.

    ¡°Nope.¡± Margot reached around to her back pocket and retrieved her wallet. ¡°How long have you been helping? Thirty an hour is pretty standard for movers¡­¡±

    ¡°Really, I¡¯m fine¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Mom. He¡¯s fine, and you¡¯re making a scene.¡± Sara looked, probably for the first time, uncomfortable to Josh.

    At the best possible moment, Connor descended from the upper floors of the door with a small box in his hands. He seemed to read the room in an instant.

    ¡°Ms. Margot, is your truck ready to pack up?¡± Connor¡¯s smile seemed genuine, which made Josh think this was a common occurrence

    Margot seemed to soften immediately upon seeing Connor. ¡°We¡¯re all set to go¡­ but this isn¡¯t everything¡­ is it? You haven¡¯t been selling your things to get by, have you?¡±

    ¡°We were just about to take a lunch break, actually.¡± Connor still had that curt sort of opinionated tone to his voice when he spoke to Margot, but he was definitely making an effort to cut it back with her.

    Margot smiled as she put away her wallet. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind doing just a bit more, I already ordered pizza to be sent to the new apartment in about a half hour. And I picked up some things for you Connor, the pizza place didn¡¯t have a non-dairy, non-gluten option.¡±

    ¡°Go figure.¡± Connor gavea halfhearted laugh that sounded very practiced. ¡°You think we can really get the new apartment loaded with all the boxes in half an hour?¡±

    ¡°Maybe a little more than that, but only if we hustle.¡± Margot picked up a stack of boxes as she spoke. ¡°Connor, you help me load up the truck. Sara and Josh, you can bring down the rest.¡±

    ¡°Yes ma¡¯am.¡± Connor gave a mock salute and threw the apartment key to Sara. ¡°Will you guys be okay getting the last few boxes down? They¡¯re heavy.¡±

    ¡°I think we¡¯ll manage.¡± Sara gave her friend a faked sarcastic frown before turning to Josh. ¡°You wanna split the last donut?¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t¡¯ help but smile at her. ¡°Sure.¡±

 Ch.3 Potential Incident

    Josh had not been optimistic about Margot¡¯s time table. Half an hour to load a truck, get it somewhere else, and unload it was far fetched and asking for failure. But when Josh had made his first trip back down with one particularly heavy box in hand, almost all of the boxes they had left in the common area were gone. At first Josh suspected theft, but then he saw Margot walk in, pick up four boxes in a precarious stack¡ªone of which Josh knew was quite heavy, probably filled with books¡ªand then walk out the door as easily as if she were carrying one. And before he could make it all the way down with his second box, Margot was jogging up the stairs past him taking two steps at a time.

    When Josh made it to the common area he waited a minute for Sara to get down as well so he could attempt to ask what was going on.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be rude¡­ but¡­ is you mom¡­?¡± Josh didn¡¯t know exactly what to ask. He suspected military, but that didn¡¯t quite make sense given that she looked so young and had a daughter as old as Sara. It could have been steroids, but there was no polite way to ask that question.

    ¡°Yeah. She¡¯s ex-special forces¡­¡±

    Sara seemed uncomfortable with the topic, so Josh stopped her with upheld hands. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I just... I feel a little¡­ she¡¯s a lot, if that makes sense?¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t do anything halfway.¡± Sara let out a grim chuckle. ¡°And you better not slack off, she might get some opinions about you.¡±

    Sara didn¡¯t wait for Josh to respond before jogging back up the stairs.

    It was at that point that something strange crossed Josh¡¯s mind. Or rather, something common sense that was strange he had not realized it sooner. Sara cared what her mother thought of him, and Josh couldn¡¯t quite understand why. There wasn¡¯t really a reason for her to care, they were barely acquaintances and he wasn¡¯t entirely sure he wanted to be friends with her. She was amazing¡­ but amazing in a strange and alien-like happy sort of way. She was weird. And so was Connor, and so was Margot. But Sara seemed like she wanted to draw him in to her social circle; and, while that wasn¡¯t a bad thing, Josh didn¡¯t really understand why it was happening.

    Margot came down the stairs quickly with a box in each hand, moving at what Josh felt was a dangerous speed for descending stairs. ¡°There¡¯s two left up there, probably just one after Sara gets one, so let¡¯s be quick. I¡¯m hungry too.¡±

    Josh shrugged the strangeness out of his mind and quickly ascended the stairs to Sara¡¯s dorm. He had fully expected to pass Sara on the way up, but he found her standing alone in the dorm.

    ¡°Are you developing telekinesis?¡± Josh chuckled as he picked up the box next to the one Sara was staring at.

    ¡°I wish¡­¡± Sara mumbled. ¡°Hey. Josh.¡±

    The sudden request for his attention caught him off guard.

    ¡°What¡¯s up? Do you need help with that one?¡±

    Sara was avoiding eye contact. ¡°It¡¯s not that heavy¡­ but thank you. Thank you for helping. I don¡¯t think I said that when you showed up. I¡¯m not actually that great at talking to people.¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡± Josh wanted to put a hand on her shoulder but that felt too intimate. ¡°You¡¯re welcome. And don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯ve been paid in donuts and pizza.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but I should have warned you about stuff. Like Connor and my mom. They can be kinda hard to get along with¡­. they have very strong personalities.¡±

    ¡°They probably are, but get it. You¡¯re used to them and didn¡¯t think about it till now. But I¡¯m taking Rhetoric two from Professor Shaw, I think I can handle some strong and obnoxious opinions and personality.¡± Josh held out the box he had picked up. ¡°Here. This one is light. I¡¯ll trade you.¡±

    Sara finally made eye contact and her eyes were sparkling. Not quite teary, but wet. But she was smiling like she¡¯d just been told exactly what she needed to hear. Josh tried not to take it too seriously. He didn¡¯t feel like he was qualified to offer her advice about her personal life at all, but she was making it about him and he couldn¡¯t just ignore her.

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    Sara took the box Josh had offered and made a quick exit from the dorm. Josh picked up the box Sara had been looking at, which was actually pretty heavy, and tried his best to keep up. He nearly fell down the second set of stairs though and slowed down after that.

    ¡°Is that the last box?¡± Margot was waiting for Josh at the bottom of the stairs.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I think.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll send Connor back up to do a last minute once over, but if we load up really quick we can get to the new apartment with five minutes to spare before the food gets there¡­ which is plenty of time.¡±

    That was certainly not plenty of time, at least to Josh, but he didn¡¯t argue. He made his way out of the common area and onto the busy city street once again, with Margot right behind him. There was a quick gesture and Connor was sent back inside while Josh made him way to a small box truck that was parked by the curb. Sara was halfway in the back of the truck stuffing her box on top of a neat stack of boxes that Margot and Connor had made. There wasn¡¯t much space in the back of the truck, but it wasn¡¯t very big to begin with; the cab honestly looked almost as big as the cargo space.

    ¡°Here, I left a spot for your box.¡± Sara grinned as she reached out to take Josh¡¯s box. ¡°We¡¯re gonna have to stuff it in though.¡±

    Margot pulled herself on to the back of the truck and started to move a stack of boxes. ¡°Really should have started with the heavier ones, that way nothing gets squished¡­ here.¡±

    Much to Josh¡¯s astonishment Margot was lifting an entire stack of boxes with just one arm so Sara could slide the last one underneath. It wasn¡¯t impossible that the boxes she had lifted were light, but it was still such an unnatural display that Josh couldn¡¯t help but stare. But it was only for a moment, and then everything was like it had been before Margot had shown her strength. Connor was back almost immediately after, and the truck was closed up. Josh practically watched silently as the three began to load up in the truck without him before Sara realized that he was still dazed.

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    ¡°You really are out of it¡­ You¡¯re not diabetic¡­ are you?¡±

    Sara was waving her hand in front of his face when Josh finally snapped back to reality. ¡°Oh, no. I guess I must just be hungry.¡±

    ¡°Alright, hop in. There¡¯s only three seat belts, so I¡¯m probably going to have to share with Connor. So you¡¯ll probably be in the middle.¡±

    Margot was already in the drivers seat when Josh came up tot he passenger side door, and she patted the empty middle space on the bench next to her when she saw him get closer. ¡°It¡¯s alright Josh, I¡¯m not going to bite.¡±

    ¡°I thought the phrase was I don¡¯t bite¡­¡± Josh had noticed the difference.

    ¡°I know what I said.¡± Margot laughed loudly as Josh climbed into the the truck cab with Connor and then Sara close behind.

    ¡°Ew, mom.¡± Sara scrunched up her nose at her mom¡¯s insinuation.

    ¡°What? I¡¯ve had to do it in the past to stay alive¡­ remember that story I told you about the time I was in Istanbul?¡±

    Margot started the truck as soon as all the belt had been clicked into place. As soon as the truck started Josh became uncomfortably aware of how close he was to Margot. Her elbow was nearly hitting him in the chest when she switched in and out of reverse. And as much as he didn¡¯t want to be able to, he could smell her.

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make it right to joke about biting people you hardly know.¡± Sara scowled.

    Sara was sitting awkwardly on Connor¡¯s lap, though the two seemed not to make anything of it. They definitely seemed more like friends than anything physically intimate. Josh wondered for a brief moment if Connor was gay, but then quickly corrected himself. It was none of his business, and if Connor was it wouldn¡¯t really change anything. Sara was still sitting on his lap and Josh was tucked between the two of them and Margot. As physically uncomfortable as it was, it was strangely comforting to be around people that were so casual around each other.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know the soldier holding a knife to me in Istanbul either.¡± Margot was laughing less heartily now, but she didn¡¯t seem to be taking what was probably a very traumatic story too seriously. ¡°Still bit him.¡±

    ¡°Thankfully Josh is neither armed nor trying to kill you.¡± Connor piped up with a sly snark to his voice. ¡°But I think Sara might try if you keep it up.¡±

    ¡°She should, we haven¡¯t sparred in so long. I want to be sure you¡¯re still light on your feet, both of you. The city isn¡¯t any safer on the other side of the street.¡±

    ¡°Do you teach self defense?¡± Josh asked, he was doing his best to remain casual but genuine curiosity had taken over.

    ¡°Mostly just to these two. I wanted to be sure they could defend themselves when they moved out here.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s been teaching Sara since before we met, but I¡¯ve been trying to keep up since middle school.¡± Connor filled in. ¡°But she¡¯s a lot better fighter than a teacher.¡±

    ¡°For that I¡¯m not going to hold back.¡± Margot smiled to the side, but kept her focus on the road.

    Josh had hardly noticed, but Sara¡¯s mom was an extremely safe driver. It was almost like the truck was the only car on the road, it didn¡¯t feel like anyone was getting in her way, but Josh quickly realized that that was because Margot was paying very close attention to the car¡¯s around her. Any time another car seemed to swerve or try and jump ahead of the truck, Margot was already making space and getting out of the way. She wasn¡¯t driving slowly either. They were making good time, or So Josh suspected. He still had no idea where the apartment they were going to unload the boxes was.

    It was startling then, when the truck pulled over to the side of the road and Josh recognized the building. It wasn¡¯t far from campus, but it was a new development. Or rather, it was a new renovation. The building had just finished being almost completely torn apart and rebuilt over the course of several years. It had been almost done when Josh moved into the city, and he¡¯d seen the projected rent when he was thinking about moving out off campus at the end of the previous year. Not only had the rent for this building had been so far out of his price range that he had laughed and shown Kerry and they¡¯d made a running joke about it. The building even had private penthouse apartments at the very top for an even more ludicrous price.

    Given the price of the building directly in front of them, Josh expected that they would unload their boxes to a neighboring property. But Margot had unlatched the back of the truck and started to carry two boxes towards the very building that Josh had joked about with his roommate. As he carried his own box towards the front door of the building he got a better look at the name of the building; The Benedictine.

    Margot had waited in the lobby to direct them towards their destination. ¡°There¡¯s a freight elevator down that hall, it should be unlocked for us. Just stack your box in there and we¡¯ll see how much we can fit.¡±

    Sara had made it in first and Josh followed her as she walked through the lushly decorated lobby space and into the hallway her mom had pointed out. Sure enough, at the end of the hallway, which looked to be more of a service corridor than a residential one, was a wide double door. Behind the door was a much more rickety looking elevator platform and matching elevator shaft. It looked like it hadn¡¯t been altered much when the renovations had been completed. A few spots were clearly reinforced with more modern materials than brick, and the cables for the elevator car that could be seen still had some shine to them. But that was about it.

    ¡°I think we¡¯ll need to make two trips¡­¡± Sara grimaced at the state of the elevator. ¡°Or more.¡±

    She didn¡¯t hesitate to place her box in the corner of the elevator and Josh followed suit. Connor and Margot were right behind him. Josh noted the sign next to the double door on his way back. It listed a maximum weight of eight thousand pounds, but Josh was skeptical.

    ¡°Actually, mom, can I talk to you real quick while the boys get started on the rest of the boxes?¡±

    Margot stopped where Sara had, just inside the hallway towards the elevator. ¡°Sure. You boys bring back as much as you can carry. The food should be here any minute.¡±

    Sure enough, when Josh followed Connor back out, there was a car with a delivery sign stuck to the top of it idling just two spots away from the truck.

    ¡°You should tell Margot that the delivery guy¡¯s here so she can go up ahead of us and pay for the food.¡± Connor nodded towards the car and then nodded back towards the building. ¡°I think it¡¯ll take us a little bit to fill the elevator up.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be right back.¡± Josh nodded and did a light job back to the building and through the lobby.

    Sara and Margot were not immediately visible, they had moved down the hallway just a few feet, but Josh heard them talking before he saw them.

    ¡°I still think you should wait¡­¡± Josh heard Margot saying quietly.

    ¡°I¡¯ve waited since I was a kid. You gave it to Connor after high school and we¡¯ve been away from home for years¡­¡± It was around that point that Josh turned the corner and the two women stopped their conversation immediately.

    ¡°Sorry to interrupt, but the pizza guy is in the building, or at least his car is out front. He¡¯s probably already headed up.¡±

    ¡°No, thank you. I¡¯ll go up right now.¡± Margot put a hand on each of Sara¡¯s shoulders. ¡°We can talk more when we have everything in the apartment. I promise.¡±

    ¡°Thanks mom.¡± Sara sounded a little let down, but the feeling only lasted for a moment. ¡°Do you want us to wait to bring the elevator up?¡±

    Margot was already jogging back through the lobby when she turned back to answer. ¡°You can bring it up, remember, unit sixteen!¡±

    Josh shrugged off the unit number. He had no idea what that number would relate to. There was no board with the number of floors or how many units were in the building¡ªat least not readily visible. But the surprise he had felt when they had pulled up to The Benedictine was nothing compared to what he would feel when they arrived at the apartment.

 Ch.4 Potential Turning Point

    The revelation of what ¡®unit sixteen¡¯ entailed came sooner than Josh anticipated. Margot had made good time getting up to catch the pizza delivery person and then back down. They had barely made two trips in the same time. And as soon as Margot was involved in moving the boxes, things went much more quickly than anticipated. It seemed to be a core part of her identity¡ªbeing quick and efficient¡ªand if Josh couldn¡¯t see her with his own eyes he might have thought she was some kind of robot. She was carrying stacks of heavy boxes, keeping perfect posture and balance, and moving around like she weighed nothing. It was incredible, and Josh couldn¡¯t help but admire her.

    With everyone loading the elevator, it took a total of two minutes to empty the truck. And that was when Josh stepped into the packed elevator car with everyone else and witnessed the second biggest surprise he would bear witness to that day. The elevator didn¡¯t have any stops before the thirty-fourth floor, and every floor after that was marked as a single unit. Unit sixteen was the top floor. The penthouse. Probably the most expensive apartment in the building and having a potential cost well over a million dollars. It made Josh wonder.

    ¡°We¡¯re moving you into the penthouse?¡±

    Sara blushed. ¡°It¡¯s not a huge deal. We know people and mom makes good money.¡±

    ¡°I saved the life of the building owner.¡± Margot grinned.

    ¡°But¡­¡± Josh was flabbergasted.

    He couldn¡¯t wrap his mind around what he was being told. It didn¡¯t make any sense and so he began to doubt the truth of it. Even as the elevator doors opened on the fiftieth floor, and he saw the entrance to the apartment, he didn¡¯t believe where he was. If they could afford this apartment, even at a discounted price, why had they moved everything themselves? Why had Margot brought such a cramped truck? And why had they chosen such an auspicious apartment? It didn¡¯t seem to match with Sara or Connor¡¯s personality. They didn¡¯t seem rich, or even well off. That had been what caught him off guard the most.

    ¡°Don¡¯t think about it too hard.¡± Connor dropped his fist down gently on Josh¡¯s shoulder in a casual gesture as they all stepped out of the elevator. ¡°The world doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    As much as Josh wanted to linger on the questions in his head, Connor was right. In a way. It wouldn¡¯t make sense no matter how much he thought about it, and as strange as it felt it was happening. Burning all his attention on it wasn¡¯t going to make it make sense and there was no real point to making sense of it. He was hardly involved at all.

    Somewhere between realizing something was off and accepting that there was nothing he could do about it, Josh had picked up the first box he had seen and begun to follow Sara¡¯s lead out of the elevator. He had resolved to stay level headed, no matter how absurd the apartment itself was going to look. And to a normal person, or what the majority of us would call a normal person, what lay in wait behind the sturdy black stained oak door just down the hall was absurd. When Josh walked in behind Sara, that was his first thought. But he was ready for it and didn¡¯t make a big deal out of the hardwood flooring and marble counter tops, or the shear square footage of the apartment, or the extremely sturdy and expensive looking furniture that was already in place, or the large screen TV ready and waiting on its wall mount, or any of it. He took a breath and made clear eye contact with Sara as she put down her own box.

    ¡°Do you know where you want things yet or are we just going to make a big pile?¡±

    ¡°We had a system¡­¡± Sara began but she was interrupted by Connor.

    ¡°Anything with white tape goes in the kitchen, red tape goes to the living room, blue goes in one bedroom, green goes another, brown goes in the bathroom¡­ everything with clear tape goes right here.¡± Connor pointed down where he and Sara had just placed their boxes.

    ¡°We ran out of color tape.¡± Sara smiled brightly at the failure to prepare.

    Margot shrugged and put down the three boxes she¡¯d been carrying before pulling one aside to put on the kitchen counter. The kitchen, which was back and to the left of where they came in and could be seen from the main living space with only a large split bar top island separating the space from a small open study space and living room, was massive. And sitting on the island right next to where Margot put the box, was a different colored box¡­ several of them, filled with pizza.

    The sight of food made Josh¡¯s stomach rumble, and the smell that gradually made its way over to him wasn¡¯t helping either, but he knew there was still an elevator full things that needed to be brought in first and they had all agreed on it. But if he moved slowly enough, Margot would probably take care of most of it and he wouldn¡¯t need to exert as much effort. But what Sara said stuck in his mind. Margot would notice if he started slacking off, and she would think less of him. And for some reason, that bothered him. It bothered him enough that he tried to keep pace with the woman as she went back and forth in and out of the apartment. He couldn¡¯t carry as many boxes, though he tried initially. But it seemed that the more he tried to keep pace the more Margot started to carry. And then they were done, and Josh felt like he was going to be sick.

    ¡°Did you say something to him about Margot?¡± Connor whispered to Sara as they settled on bar stools at the kitchen island. ¡°Josh just pushed himself way too hard.¡±

    Josh could hear the whispering¡ªnot well, but he could hear it¡ªbut didn¡¯t feel like he knew anyone in the room well enough to defend himself in any meaningful way.

    Margot, however, seemed to have a very different opinion of Josh. ¡°You kept up pretty good. You are a student right? That¡¯s how Sara met you? Are you a planning on going into physical therapy or some sort of athletic field?¡±

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    Josh was almost shocked at her final question, enough to laugh at least. ¡°Oh, hell no. No offense if you¡¯re into that. But I am out of shape. I¡¯m pre-law.¡±

    ¡°Oh? How¡¯d you cross paths with Sara then? If you don¡¯t mind me asking.¡±

    ¡°We have an astronomy lecture together, we ran in to each other after the second class this week and I asked him if he wanted to help. And he said yes.¡± Sara chimed in. Her voice made it clear that that sort of interaction she had performed when she first interacted with Josh was a relatively common practice for her. And the casual nod from Connor and Margot only helped to confirm that.

    ¡°Astronomy? That¡¯s an odd choice for pre-law, even as an elective.¡±

    ¡°It is an elective. My roommate convinced me and I don¡¯t mind it.¡± Josh sighed. ¡°He audits the class every semester to get easy dates from freshman girls, but I just enjoy learning things outside of my normal course work.¡±

    ¡°I guess we¡¯re lucky Sara ran into you, and not your roommate then.¡± Margot frowned, but it wasn¡¯t a disappointed expression. Almost impressed actually. But she seemed concerned. ¡°Actually, you¡¯ve reminded me of something. Would you help me find something in one of the boxes in your room, Sara?¡±

    Sara brightened up immediately at the request and was already out of her seat when she said, ¡°Yes, of course!¡±

    Margot was quick to chase her daughter down as they walked the length of the apartment and into the more closed off half where the bedrooms were.Once they were out of sight that left Josh and Connor alone at the kitchen island with four boxes of pizza which Connor had no apparent interest in.

    ¡°Not a big pizza fan?¡±

    ¡°It smells great¡­ but I can¡¯t eat it.¡± Connor sighed. It felt like an answer he had to give often.

    ¡°Can¡¯t eat cheese?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Or wheat.¡± Connor took in a long dragging breath. ¡°Or soy, or corn, or artificial dyes¡­ honestly I could list a lot of things I can¡¯t eat. It¡¯s almost easier to list what I can, but Margot knows¡­¡±

    Connor stood up, as if reminded that he had forgotten it was an option, and made his way over to the refrigerator. After a moment he made his way over to the microwave with brown paper bag, which he pulled out three Tupperware from. One with chicken, one with rice, and one with carrots. It looked like an incredibly bland meal, but he seemed content.

    ¡°Don¡¯t get the wrong idea¡­¡± Connor began talking with his back turned as he watched the food in the microwave. ¡°Margot¡¯s my best friend¡¯s mom, and a lot of guys assume that, because we have such a close relationship, there¡¯s more going on. But she¡¯s just like a second mom to me.¡±

    ¡°It hadn¡¯t even crossed my mind.¡± It really hadn¡¯t. Josh had been preoccupied by everything else. ¡°But I understand that. I know I said that my roommate hunts for dates and stuff, but I don¡¯t get that attitude about relationships. I just want to get my degree. I don¡¯t need to see relationship things like that everywhere I look.¡±

    ¡°Huh.¡± Connor sounded curious but refused to ask a question to satisfy his curiosity. Instead he retrieved his food from the microwave a second before it beeped to let him know it was done and began to eat.

    ¡°Do you know if there¡¯s toilet paper in the bathroom over here?¡± Josh was pointing to the bathroom to the left of the island, close to the the front door of the apartment. He knew there were two, but everyone had brought the bathroom boxes to the other bathroom that was by the bedrooms.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. There¡¯s nothing to dry your hands on either. I think Sara already used the other one though, so she probably unpacked some things.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Josh pushed himself away from the island and stood up. ¡°I¡¯ll just excuse myself then.¡±

    Connor gave him a nod, as if he was approving his need to use the facilities worthy. It was still awkward, using someone else¡¯ bathroom before they even had. But Josh hadn¡¯t realized how bad things had gotten over the course of the move. He hadn¡¯t been drinking enough water, but as soon as he¡¯d sat down and gotten some pizza he¡¯d started to chug fluids as fast as he could and it was having an adverse reaction. And as he made his way to the other bathroom he grew close enough to Sara¡¯s bedroom, which was directly across the hall from the bathroom, to hear her and her mother talking.

    Josh couldn¡¯t fully understand what they were talking about, but the door was cracked open just a bit and he could make out most of their conversation.

    ¡°...I think¡­ I guess I forgot how mature you are now, and what kind of people you¡¯re around.¡± Margot said.

    ¡°You don¡¯t mean Josh, do you?¡±

    ¡°No. He seemed like a nice guy¡­ little awkward¡­ and you¡¯re sure he can¡¯t¡­?¡±

    ¡°No he can¡¯t see it. At least I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    The second Josh heard his name, he stopped in the hallway. He looked back to check to see if Connor was watching him. But Connor had sat back down at the island and was facing away from the side of the apartment where Josh was; and on top of that, the door that separated the bedrooms from the main room of the apartment was partially closed. There was no way either Sara or Margot could see him either, though there was a possibility they had heard him walk close. If they had they didn¡¯t stop talking.

    ¡°Right. I¡¯m sorry, Sara. I should have listened to you sooner.¡±

    ¡°No, don¡¯t apologize. You just¡­ have a hard time seeing that I¡¯m a full grown woman now.¡±

    ¡°I honestly wish I couldn¡¯t see it, but now that I have I can¡¯t see my little girl as clearly.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll still be here, I¡¯ll just also be someone else too.¡±

    Josh was beginning to feel uncomfortable listening in, it sounded like a personal conversation. But there was something about the secrecy that had been used to move them into a private space that made him linger. There was a deeper conversation at the heart of what they were saying, and it felt like something that would explain why the three people Josh had spent most of his day with were so strange.

    ¡°I know¡­ Are you sure you¡¯re ready though? Really sure?¡±

    ¡°You ask me like you don¡¯t know that I¡¯ve wanted to be like you my whole life. Of course I¡¯m ready to get my marks. I¡¯ve been ready since before Connor was.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Hold out your arm.¡±

    ¡°Really? Just like that?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not a cult ritual, sweatpea. It¡¯s an ongoing right of passage.¡±

    ¡°Do you think I should call Connor in here?¡±

    ¡°Why does it sound like you¡¯re having second thoughts about this?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not¡­ I¡¯m not. It¡¯s just kind of a big deal and I¡¯ve been wanting to talk to you about this for months and you¡¯re suddenly just ready to do this all of the sudden. I¡¯m ready. But maybe I just wasn¡¯t prepared¡­¡±

    ¡°Give me your arm before I think twice about this.¡±

    ¡°Right. Right. Fine.¡±

    Within moments of Sara saying that, something else happened that would change Josh¡¯s life forever. It was wholly unfortunate that one of the biggest parts of his memory of that moment was that his bladder was incredibly full. Because what he saw from his eavesdropping spot in the hallway was something unearthly and incredibly¡­ indescribable. In his own words, it was like someone had turned on a hundred florescent light bulbs in the room. And that light was enough to draw his gaze closer to the fine gap in the door. And in that gap, Josh saw something truly bizarre.

 Ch.5 Hidden Fear

    Margot, who Josh had thought did not have any tattoos, had suddenly gained a rather large and complex half sleeve that covered her entire forearm. But what really shocked Josh to his core was that the design on her arm was glowing a bright white light. And as she held her arm close to Sara¡¯s forearm, that light was spreading. Like it was being transferred from contact paper, the marks were beginning to appear on Sara¡¯s arm.

    That was when Josh stepped back and decided that he hadn¡¯t seen anything. He went to the bathroom, closed the door very quietly, took care of his business¡ªwhich took a while¡ªand returned to the kitchen area. Margot and Sara were already back and engaged in quiet excited conversation with Connor. They transitioned into something more audible as Josh approached and their level of casual banter seemed incredibly natural. If Josh weren¡¯t still able to see the suddenly very visible tattoos on both Margot and Sara¡¯s left arms, he would think nothing had changed. Out of curiosity, Josh¡¯s eyes made their way over to Connor¡¯s left arm. But it was obscured by his long sleeves. If there was anything there the only part he¡¯d be able to see wouldn¡¯t confirm any of his newfound paranoia.

    ¡°Thank you again for helping, Josh.¡± Sara was beaming at him as he sat down. ¡°But I won¡¯t make you help us unpack. That¡¯s a lot to ask of you. But, when we¡¯re done¡­ maybe¡­ would you want to come over for a movie night?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ I¡¯ll see how things go. I have to go over some early homework for a few classes, but I could maybe make some time.¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re welcome here any time¡­ Preferably while I¡¯m here too, but I¡¯ve decided not to move in.¡± Margot looked pained as she said it. ¡°So I won¡¯t be around that much.¡±

    Her meaning was distinctly unclear. It sounded like she was warning Josh against getting close to her daughter in an unsupervised setting, but also like she was encouraging those unsupervised social interactions to happen. And yet the tone she had used for each seemed swapped with what Josh thought it should be.

    ¡°I¡¯ll remember that. But I should also go and get ahead on that homework¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah. We got it from here.¡± Connor stood and waved Josh towards the door with food still in his mouth. ¡°Take care of your business, you helped with ours.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Josh wasn¡¯t exactly sure how best to exit, but he figured heading towards the door was a good start.

    ¡°Thank you again.¡± Sara smiled and waved. ¡°Oh! Wait!¡±

    Josh froze in his tracks. And for a moment he was afraid that she was going to say something about what he¡¯d seen¡­ maybe that she¡¯d realized he¡¯d been so close when it happened. But she didn¡¯t have a hint of malice in her voice.

    ¡°Let me get your number.¡± Sara held out her phone and an empty hand to take Josh¡¯s. ¡°You know, so I can invite you to movie nights and stuff?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± Josh reluctantly handed over his phone and accepted hers.

    It was a different model of phone and Josh struggled initially to figure out how to put his number in while Sara seemed to be done before he could understand what was happening.

    ¡°Oh, yo. Put mine in there too and send me a text.¡± Connor called from the island.

    ¡°Wait¡­ Why?¡± Sara sounded just as confused as Josh was by the request.

    ¡°Because you¡¯re gonna harass him and not know it, and I¡¯m gonna be the one to apologize for you.¡± Connor laughed, nearly spitting out his food. ¡°You¡¯re not a low energy person Sara. You need a balance.¡±

    ¡°I worry about you two.¡± Margot sighed. ¡°And heaven help you, Josh, it¡¯s too late to get out now.¡±

    Something about the way she said it made Josh¡¯s eyes dart to to Margot¡¯s arm where the marks that hadn¡¯t been there before still lay visible. The glance did not go unnoticed by Margot, but Josh quickly thrust the phone in his hand back to its owner and accepted his own back.

    Josh tried to act casual, but the strangeness was starting to get to him. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine, just don¡¯t run up my phone bill.¡±

    ¡°No promises.¡± Sara was completely unphased by the awkward tension in the room. She was smiling, same as she had been when she first met Josh. All sincerity. No doubts that she wanted to be friends.

    Josh couldn¡¯t feel uncomfortable, not completely, not with the pure honest glowing off the girl in front of him. But he couldn¡¯t keep talking, he needed to leave. To breath air untainted by confusion and insanity. And with a nod, he left. He didn¡¯t see the nodding behind him as he turned to leave. And as soon as he closed the door he made his way immediately to the elevator while he checked his phone. There were two new numbers in his contacts, Connor Bushnell and Sara Wilder.

    And while Joshua Hall was looking at his phone, mid descent on the long elevator ride back down to earth, Connor, Margot, and Sara were sharing a silent conversation. One that quickly grew out of its silence.

    ¡°You said he wasn¡¯t able to see your mark before¡­ but you¡¯ve had sleeves on all day, haven¡¯t you?¡± Margot¡¯s tone had quickly because accusatory.

    ¡°I think so¡­¡± Connor¡¯s face went flush. ¡°I was cold this morning though¡­.¡±

    Margot sighed. ¡°If your mark was active I¡¯d be a lot more frustrated with you, but you¡¯re both still young and the rules don¡¯t mean as much to you yet. When you get activated, you¡¯ll understand. But you need to keep your marks visible as much as possible. That way, when someone else can see them, you can help.¡±

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    ¡°You¡¯re sure he saw yours?¡± Sara was being uncharacteristically sheepish. ¡°He didn¡¯t seem to react when you showed up, and he didn¡¯t react to mine¡­¡±

    ¡°I just gave you yours, and he wasn¡¯t looking at your hands when you traded phones.¡± Margot had her face in her hands now. ¡°So you two need to find out if he can see your marks¡­ and if he could have always seen them or if interacting so closely with you two changed things.¡±

    ¡°He might have seen you pass it on¡­ he went to the bathroom while you two were off¡­ changing Sara¡¯s fate.¡± Connor was back to his food, but there was a sulking manner in his posture as he finished off his meal.

    ¡°That¡­ is admittedly possible. When we came out, the bedroom door was ajar.¡± Margot brought her fingers to a point and rested her chin on them. ¡°And I don¡¯t frankly remember which of us closed it, or tried to at least. So there¡¯s no blame to put on anyone if that¡¯s what happened. But I admit, it would be regrettable if we cut his future short like that. I don¡¯t care for the people that have bright futures here, but we all agreed that dragging them out of their potential was a bad idea. It¡¯s a shallow world for them, but it isn¡¯t painful.¡±

    ¡°Marked life doesn¡¯t have to be painful either, Margot¡­¡± Sara started, ¡°and he doesn¡¯t seem the type to pry. He might be content to just move on with things if he gets pulled in¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen that happen with interrupted people. But we don¡¯t even know if that is what happened.¡± Margot sighed. ¡°But we can worry about it in a bit. You two should get unpacked. I¡¯ll take the truck back and then sleep here for tonight. But after that, I want you two to figure out what¡¯s going on with Josh¡­ and please, for the love of all that is good, don¡¯t scare him. You knew Connor for a long time before he was ready to hear the whole truth, and he¡¯s been able to see the marks his whole life.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­¡± Sara and Connor sighed in unison.

    And by the time that conversation had played out, Josh was walking down the street; occasionally he would look up and back towards the highest balcony on the building he was fleeing from. There was no way that he would be able to see if any of his new acquaintances, or for them to see him as he walked away. But there was an intense sense of fear that Josh couldn¡¯t explain developing within his mind. Fear of something he couldn¡¯t explain no matter how hard he tried to pretend he¡¯d imagined it. It was as though he was waking from a nightmare and trying to calm himself by saying it was all just a dream.

    But it wasn¡¯t. It wasn¡¯t a dream at all. Quite the opposite sensation seemed to be dawning on him.For reasons that Josh did not understand, he began to feel more and more as if the world he was in¡ªthe world he had always been in¡ªwas more dream or nightmare than reality and he was struggling to convince himself that he¡¯d woken up from it. That daze of confusion and fear persisted even as Josh opened the door to his door and slid through the barely opened door.

    The door to the dorm was in poor condition. It opened all the way, but squeaked very loudly if opened more than two feet wide. Which meant that if anyone wanted to sneak in or out, or even just not draw attention to themselves, they had to squeeze through a small gap. It made it helpful for Josh when he was trying to judge when it was safe to venture out of his room when he knew Kerry had company over. He didn¡¯t tell the girls he brought home about the door on purpose, that way he knew if they tried to sneak away from him. It as also a decent alarm in case anyone tried to break into the dorm, which had happened once.

    ¡°How¡¯d the move with the spunky blonde chick go?¡± Kerry didn¡¯t need to hear the door to notice that Josh had slunk back in. ¡°Did you get any?¡±

    Josh groaned. The discomfort of being asked a question like that, combined with the psychological discomfort of what he had seen was not a pleasant cocktail.

    ¡°Things were fine, for a bit. But they got¡­ weird.¡±

    Kerry was reclined at one of the study desks, eyes on the front door. The room was shockingly empty of companionship for a Saturday.

    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s usually why I try and keep things in my own space instead of going to a girl¡¯s place. Unless its a really nice place¡­ like the girl is rich or something. Like¡­. ah¡­ what¡¯s her face¡­ Jennifer...¡± Kerry lost track of his thoughts as he rambled on. ¡°But what happened? Weird how?¡±

    ¡°She moved into the Benedictine¡­ into the penthouse.¡± Josh didn¡¯t know how to start with anything else that went weird, and that seemed to be the most unusual part of his day.

    ¡°Oh¡­ snap. That¡¯s ritzy.¡± Kerry turned around completely, immediately interested. ¡°But it¡¯s weird that she asked for help if she¡¯s got that much money.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea if she has money or not. Her mom said they got a discount on the apartment¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, woah. Hold up. Her mom was there?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and her roommate¡­¡±

    ¡°Was her roommate cute?¡± The question was basically a reflex for Kerry, Josh couldn¡¯t fault him for maintaining his priorities.

    ¡°I¡­ guess?¡± Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure how to process the question. The fact that Connor was a man and Kerry was not interested in men totally slipped his mind. ¡°Not the point¡­¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ Right. Josh, I¡¯m sorry. What else happened?¡±

    ¡°I saw¡­ something. I don¡¯t know how to describe it. It was like I was seeing magic. Real magic.¡±

    Kerry stood and made his way over to Josh, concern clear on his face.¡°You¡¯re going to have to be real careful about how you explain this to me, and you need to explain this to me or I¡¯m going to ask you to see someone in the campus clinic. What did you actually see?¡±

    ¡°I saw Sara, the girl you saw me talking to after class, and her mom in her room. And her mom did something. And there was a bright light, like a glow, and she gave Sara a tattoo¡­ I think?¡±

    ¡°Hell¡­¡± Kerry hissed through his teeth. ¡°That sounds bad.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think it was bad¡­¡± Josh was about to try and play it down, but he was interrupted.

    ¡°No, I mean you sound like you¡¯re crazy and I¡¯m worried about you. I think you should get checked out. Maybe you overworked yourself and got lightheaded and saw something that didn¡¯t happen.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ might have.¡± Josh paused. ¡°But I have a better idea. I can¡¯t afford another clinic visit this year. But they invited me over for a movie night tomorrow after they finish moving in their things, and you can come with me to verify if I¡¯m losing it. And I promise, if I¡¯m seeing things you don¡¯t I will absolutely get help.¡±

    ¡°You promise you¡¯ll trust me if I say you¡¯re seeing things?¡±

    ¡°You tried to gaslight me into believing I ate the last frozen burrito twice last month.¡± Josh was mostly joking, but as he made eye contact with Kerry he knew his roommate and friend was taking the situation more seriously than he normally took anything. ¡°But yeah. I trust you about real stuff.¡±

    ¡°And this is real stuff. People doing magic is always real stuff. Because people thinking they see magic never turns out well.¡±

    Josh nodded in unison with Kerry at the sentiment. They¡¯d both completed a unit on Salem the previous semester for their rhetoric one class. They knew how slippery things could get one people believed they were seeing things that weren¡¯t really happening. If historical accounts were anything to go by, someone usually died.

 Ch.6 Hidden Investigation

    When Sunday arrived, there were two similar conversations happening nearly simultaneously in two very different places. On one side of the school campus, Josh and Kerry sat across from each other at their tiny kitchen table where they had eaten breakfast. But now all that lay on the cracked laminate surface between them was Josh¡¯s phone. On the other side of campus, in Connor and Sara''s penthouse apartment, two best friends marked apart from the world sat on opposite sides of a coffee table in their living room. On the table between them was Sara¡¯s phone.

    ¡°I¡¯m just going to do it.¡± Sara and Josh both announced as they reached for their phones.

    ¡°Okay. Do it.¡± Connor nodded in agreement with his best friend.

    ¡°Hold up. She said she¡¯d invite you, right?¡± Kerry held his hand up to signal Josh to stop. ¡°And they all made a big stink about her being impulsive and chatty, right? So let her be her natural self so they don¡¯t get suspicious.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Sara and Josh both nodded slowly, hesitating for very different reasons.

    Josh put his phone back down on the table and leaned forward with his head in his hands so he could prop it up on the table over his phone. He was nervous, but he had gradually become less afraid of the unknowns that he had encountered as he and Kerry had talked. And they had talked for a long time. As stereotypical as Kerry often was, he was always a good listener. That trait alone was what often attributed to his various social successes.

    Sara, on the other hand, flexed her fingers and shook her head slightly to loosen up her neck and shoulder muscles. She had never been so nervous about talking to someone before.

    ¡°How about¡­, hey did you finish up your studying? We¡¯re trying to pick out a movie and can¡¯t decide what to watch.¡±

    Sara had typed the message up as a draft on her phone and tried to show it to Connor but he leaned back and pulled away from the screen.

    ¡°I can¡¯t write it for you. He¡¯s smart. He would probably realize it wasn¡¯t you.¡±

    Josh¡¯s phone buzzed and he shot up in his seat as he saw the notification illuminated on the screen in front of him.

    ¡°Should I tell her I finished studying early? Maybe I should offer a movie suggestion?¡± Josh hadn¡¯t even opened the text properly, just read it through the notification just in case Sara¡¯s phone would alert her that the message had been read.

    ¡°Chill out dude, just tell her you found the time and that your roommate is bored and wants to come with you¡­ ooh, and ask her if we should bring snacks.¡± Kerry had been distracted by the thought of food, and he started ramble off the snacks he was craving.

    Josh was hardly listening at that point. He was typing out a response in a notepad on his phone, so uncertain of how to phrase his response that he had made it through several revisions before he copied the last thing he¡¯d written over to the text messenger and pasted it in to send while he closed his eyes. And after sending it, and finally opening his eyes, Josh scrambled to fix the errors he had typed. But of course he couldn¡¯t edit the text, and he ended up sending more messages with asterisked corrections.

    ¡°It turns out the studing wasnt as bad as I thought it¡¯s be, so I have the rest of my day free.¡±

    ¡°*the studying wasn¡¯t as bad as I thought it would be¡­ sorry.¡±

    ¡°I officially invite you to movie night then.¡± Sara added a smiley face emoji at the end of her text, but she had agonized so hard over which one to use that she accidentally picked the one that stuck its tongue out.

    ¡°What time? And should I bring snacks?¡±

    ¡°We start early, 4pm. No snacks required. We¡¯re ordering in.¡±

    ¡°Four o¡¯clock, and no snacks. They want to order dinner in.¡± Josh looked up to Kerry to see what he should say next.

    ¡°Okay?¡± Kerry, conversely, had no idea what Josh was expecting from him. ¡°Say cool and make sure they know I¡¯m coming. I don¡¯t want to show up and them not be prepared for me. They need to be comfortable if we¡¯re going to dig to the truth.¡±

    ¡°Right. Yeah.¡± Josh nodded as he began to type a response text.

    ¡°Is it okay if my roommate comes too? I promise he¡¯ll behave.¡±

    ¡°The one you were talking to during class?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. The obnoxious one I was talking about yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Oh, let them know I¡¯m bringing some booze.¡± Kerry pointed a finger back to a his series of glass bottles on the kitchen counter. ¡°It should help them loosen up.¡±

    ¡°He says he¡¯s bringing booze.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Maybe don¡¯t do that. Connor¡¯s still only 20, and he probably can¡¯t drink any of it anyway. And I feel bad getting drunk when he can¡¯t¡±

    ¡°Right, sorry. No booze.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t bring drinks.¡± Josh looked up at Kerry, who had become instantly deflated.

    ¡°Dude, what the hell? Why not? Are they religious?¡±

    ¡°No, her roommate can¡¯t eat a lot of stuff like soy and corn, and she feels bad if she gets drunk when they can¡¯t.¡±

    Josh was intentionally avoiding mentioning that Connor was not a girl. He had eventually realized that he had called Connor cute, mostly by accident, and he did not want Kerry to pick up on it. Josh was fully prepared to let Kerry figure that out on his own.

    Kerry groaned and rolled his eyes but waved the issue away. ¡°Fair enough. If I can get through a date with the only sober vegan on campus, I can deal with sober rich girls.¡±

    ¡°Also, the roommate¡¯s twenty.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Yeah. No. I¡¯m not giving booze to someone that can¡¯t drink it for medical reasons, and I¡¯m definitely not getting someone drunk that can¡¯t legally drink. It¡¯s a crime. A dumb one. But a crime. Also sleazy as hell.¡±

    ¡°Good to know that your boundaries on drinking are serious bodily injury ranging to death and federal crimes.¡± Josh laughed. It felt like the first time he¡¯d done it in ages.

    Kerry let off a grin, but resisted the urge to laugh loudly. ¡°What can I say. Drink responsibly is a very subjective guideline.¡±

    While Kerry and Josh managed to chatter off and on throughout the rest of the day leading up to four o¡¯clock, Josh found himself unable to do anything else of importance.He was waiting, hours in advance, for something he couldn¡¯t help but dread.

    Likewise, Sara was waiting as well, slowly pacing the lengths of the apartment while trying to make her path look discrete. Connor seemed patient enough as he read a book, but Sara couldn¡¯t sit still to save her life. She was tormented by an odd mix of anxiety and excitement. On the one hand, if Josh could see the marks on her and Connor¡¯s arms, they might have been responsible for ruining his life, but she would have a more likely friend than enemy because of it. And if he couldn¡¯t see? Then he would be just fine, but it meant that her identity was a confusing and bizarre amalgamation to someone she had wanted to be friends with and he would likely stop talking to her.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    And eventually, despite the eternity that passed as the two waited, three o¡¯clock rolled around in that way that disliked relatives do around the holidays. There is some mild excitement and definitely anticipation, but also dread. It is the sort of excitement, anticipation, and dread one experiences at the top of the first drop of a roller-coaster when one is particularly squeamish. But in a situation such as Sara and Josh were now in, it was an ideal time to begin preparing for the evening in earnest. Ordering food, putting on socially appropriate clothes, tidying spaces, and getting yourself cleaned up. And then a short wait while you decide if you want to risk arriving early or not. Or maybe you worry about arriving too late. Kerry was concerned about Josh and his obsession with arriving at the perfect moment. Sara was worried that they might not show up at all.

    When the time came (which was three-thirty for Josh) and the walk to the apartment began, Josh could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Kerry felt nothing. Nothing abnormal at least. He was already prepared for the worst and expected a grand total of nothing to happen.

    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Kerry let out a light breath as they walked up to the front of the Benedictine. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever actually been this close.¡±

    ¡°It gets¡­ bigger.¡± Josh muttered. ¡°Somehow, on the inside I mean. It feels bigger.¡±

    The two walked into the lobby, were greeted by an employee of the building, and stopped at the center of the lobby. The whole time Josh had been moving boxes he had never once looked up. It was like a scene out of a movie, like a royal ballroom with a chandelier¡­ but also with more stairs and slightly bland furniture. It seemed the gap between what Josh had expected and what he continued to see.

    ¡°Whoa¡­ you were right¡­ it is bigger on the inside.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ the elevator¡¯s¡­¡± Josh paused and shifted his view from the hallway that held the freight elevator to the center of the far wall of of the lobby where a line of elevator doors stood. Josh hadn¡¯t looked back on his way out and wasn¡¯t entirely sure if it was the right place. ¡°One of those should go all the way up.¡±

    The ride up was long. It was plenty of floors to ascend. More than either Kerry or Josh would have walked up. And when it stopped and the two passengers cross the hall to the apartment door at the top of the Benedictine, and then they knocked on the door, there was only a second or two before it opened. Neither commented on how someone must have been waiting for them behind it, but they both knew.

    ¡°You¡¯re here, great, we¡¯ve narrowed it down to two movies but we need a tie breaker.¡± Sara had opened the door and was doing her best to be cheerful and nonchalant.

    ¡°Awesome.¡± Kerry made his way past Sara as she stepped aside to welcome her guests. ¡°This is a beautiful apartment, thank you for having us over.¡±

    ¡°This is Kerry, by the way.¡± Josh introduced his roommate awkwardly as he followed behind. ¡°Kerry, this is Sara.¡±

    Once they had stepped through the door and the apartment was open before them, Josh could see Connor across the room, sitting in a small nook in the study area with his feet up. It had been quite the site out the three windows that walled in the trapezoidal nook during the day when Josh had helped them move, he could only imagine how amazing it was at night with the view. Connor was also doing his part and acting nonchalant, or rather, he was actually being nonchalant and reading a book.

    ¡°And that¡¯s Sara¡¯s roommate, Connor.¡±

    Kerry turned to give Josh a dirty look, but didn¡¯t make a comment. That was the ideal scenario for Josh. It was just enough of an audience to keep Kerry in line. It also occurred to Josh, midway through the walk there, that Kerry probably wouldn¡¯t have come if he knew it would be mostly men present with only one woman. He detested male prominent gatherings, or so he said when Josh had asked him about fraternities at the start of their time as roommates.

    ¡°Good book?¡± Kerry asked casually.

    ¡°It¡¯s homework. So no.¡± Connor smirked. ¡°But it is interesting.¡±

    As Connor sat up and put his book down, Josh had a clear view of his left arm. And Sara¡¯s arms for that matter. They were both suspiciously sleeveless. And Josh could see, just as clearly, that they both had the exact same tattoo in the exact same place. Their left forearms had a tattoo that covered from just above the wrist to just below the elbow. And now that Josh was looking at it again, and looking with less fear, he could describe it; a task he had been unable to do after leaving the apartment the previous day.

    Just above the wrist was a solid black line. And, beginning at four equidistant points on that cuff of ink, four lines that made tight spirals wound up their forearms. Just below the elbow was another solid band that encircled their arm. But it wasn¡¯t black, it was a dark gray with opalescent shine to it. But as Josh looked at it, that shine seemed to travel down to their wrists in unison. Maybe it was some trick of the light and special ink, but the tattoos seemed to move. As he looked at them, the winding spiral lines seemed to twist and spin in a hypnotic way. And, for a moment, as Josh looked at Sara¡¯s arm, he was transfixed.

    ¡°So what movies did you two stall out on?¡± Kerry made his way over to the sofa and living room area of the apartment. ¡°I half expected chic flicks, but now that I know we have a majority of men here, maybe there was at least one good option?¡±

    ¡°Well, I was voting for Breakfast at Tiffany¡¯s,¡± Connor began as he made his way over to the small table just underneath where the TV was mounted to the wall and picked up the DVD case for the movie, ¡°but Sara was adamant on watching a Bond film.¡±

    ¡°A View to Kill is my favorite.¡± Sara smiled as she put her hands together in excitement. ¡°It¡¯s Roger Moore¡¯s last appearance as Bond, and Walkin gets to be the big bad. Also, we get a hench-lady¡­ which is not as good as a female villain, but we all know the villain never really fights the hero. It¡¯s pretty much always the henchman.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not watching Hepburn tonight, are we¡­¡± Connor sighed.

    ¡°Sorry dude. I don¡¯t know how you can top that.¡± Kerry shrugged as he sat down. ¡°But you could still try to win me over.¡±

    ¡°We do have probably five-ish minutes before food gets here.¡± Sara held her hands up to cover her mouth and give Connor the floor to fight for his movie.

    Rather than fight for it though, Connor tossed the DVD case back to the table he¡¯d gotten it from. ¡°Not mad, but this does mean I get the pick next time.¡±

    ¡°Done.¡± Sara held up her hand as if to swear it. ¡°But don¡¯t forget your consolation as the loser of the movie night vote, you still get to interrupt whenever you want and we can¡¯t stop you.¡±

    Josh sat down on the couch and sank into the plush cushions. ¡°I didn¡¯t know there were special rules for movie night¡­¡±

    ¡°There are.¡± Sara nodded, before gesturing for Kerry to sit down as well. ¡°And they go back years to when Connor and I were kids. We always used to fight over what to watch, and my mom would always say you don¡¯t have to like it so long as you get along. And it just sort of grew from there.¡±

    ¡°Honestly, it¡¯s my favorite part of movie night, because talking about the movie is way more fun than actually watching the movies we have.¡±

    Josh watched with interest as the two roommates talked casually while he and Kerry absorbed the rules of the event they had been invited to. They seemed more comfortable around each other than they had the previous day. Less like roommates and more like genuine friends. Almost like siblings that had finally grown out of the stage of being at each others throats.

    And for a moment, as he watched, Josh noticed something.

    It was subtle, and he wasn¡¯t sure what it meant. But he saw Connor and Sara¡¯s eyes lock onto his at the same moment and then shift away a second later, like they were making sure they knew where his eyes were looking. And they had caught him looking at their arms again.

    ¡°That¡¯s a weird story¡­¡± Kerry jumped in on the conversation casually. ¡°Weird because I did pretty much the exact same thing in high school. I was in the film club, and there was always this one big punk rocker guy that hated every movie we watched but he showed up every week to watch with us. He never offered a choice of movie, and he was never mean about it, but he always criticized the films and talked over them while we were watching. It was the weirdest thing, because he did it really eloquently too and we had some amazing conversations as a club because of him. But it was always so weird to hear that kind of intelligent critique from a guy with a terribly done neck tattoo and all those piercings.¡±

    ¡°You can never really tell with people like that.¡± Connor chuckled. ¡°Appearances don¡¯t mean much.¡±

    ¡°Well, I mean, in high school.¡± Kerry pushed back. ¡°But yeah. Once you get to be on your own, no one really cares what you look like or if you have tattoos or piercings¡­ or if you wear jeggings everywhere.¡±

    Sara laughed. ¡°He wore jeggings everywhere?¡±

    ¡°He said they were skinny jeans, but if the tags on them said denim I would be surprised.¡±

    That line got a laugh from the whole room.

    ¡°You guys look respectable though. No tattoos, no piercings, no jeggings.¡± Kerry sighed. ¡°So we¡¯ll probably have really crappy conversation.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll talk much¡­ at least I won¡¯t. I¡¯ve never actually seen any of the old Bond films.¡± Josh smiled nervously.

    Kerry clearly wasn¡¯t seeing what he was seeing. The tattoos were so clearly there, Josh had no idea how his roommate wasn¡¯t seeing them. But that had been his signal, though they had never agreed on one. Kerry was discretely telling Josh that he was seeing things. But he wasn¡¯t. Connor and Sara had weird tattoos, and they were keeping track on if he was looking at them. It was a discrete investigation on both sides, as Josh took in every detail of the tattoos and was in turn watched by the owners of them.

    The sight of the black ink marks on their arms gradually began to make Josh¡¯s arm itch. Even as Sara stood up to answer the door and pay for food. Even as Connor made his way to the kitchen to heat up his own dinner. The marks themselves were out of his line of sight, but they still felt like they were there, close by. But the longer they stayed out of his sight, the harder they became to visualize. Josh gave Kerry a look, as if to say that he was wrong; that there were tattoos, and that he wasn¡¯t crazy but Kerry was just going blind. But all he received in return was a worried look from his friend and roommate.

    And it was a worried look that was well warranted.

 Ch.7 Hidden Conversations

    ¡°This is nothing like what you described, Sara¡­¡± Josh had barely witnessed thirty minutes of film time when he realized the movie was only getting more campy. ¡°It¡¯s so much better.¡±

    ¡°I know right? Most people think Bond movies are serious and gritty. But they¡¯re mostly satire¡ªat least the movies are, especially this generation.¡±

    Connor sighed long and loud to make sure everyone heard him. ¡°The worst part of the interruption rule is that you interrupt your movies more than I do. And it¡¯s like¡­ what¡¯s the point of giving me free reign if you trash on the movie just as much.¡±

    ¡°Probably because it¡¯s funny.¡± Kerry chuckled, chopsticks in hand as he continued to slowly work his way through what was left of the Korean takeout that had been delivered.

    Everyone else had stopped eating, but Kerry had a habit of eating a large amount of food very slowly so that he could¡ªas he claimed¡ªenjoy as much of the food as possible for the longest amount of time it was edible. Having his mouth full of food for a long period of time also gave Kerry a good opportunity to step aside in the ongoing conversation and just observe.

    ¡°How did we go from horse racing to this?¡± Josh laughed.

    It was one of many comments that brought laughter into the apartment, only partly at the expense of the film. In light of the laughter and conversation, Josh was surprised by how well everyone seemed to be getting along. Even Kerry, who had a tendency to get agitated in mostly male groups. He attributed this successful and upbeat feeling to Sara who, though she was still behaving oddly compared to when Josh had first met her¡ªand even then she had acted strangely in Josh¡¯s opinion¡ªas she and Connor continued to watch where he was looking carefully.

    ¡°Okay. I know the answer is probably it¡¯s an artifact of the styles at the time, but what¡¯s with the makeup in this movie?¡± Connor finally leveled a complaint.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me, I don¡¯t wear makeup.¡± Sara held her hands up in defense.

    Josh mimicked the more. ¡°Same here. No makeup.¡±

    ¡°Believe it or not, I have an educated opinion on that.¡± Kerry raised his chopsticks like he was trying to get a professors attention during a lecture. ¡°In the sixties, cosmetics companies realized that they could increase their profits by selling mens products. Lotions and aftershaves and all that good wood oil scented stuff. And by the end of the seventies, the cosmetics companies realized they didn¡¯t really have any new people to sell to, so they just started trying to convince people that were already buying to buy more.¡±

    ¡°That sounds¡­ possible.¡± Connor frowned. ¡°But why like that.¡±

    ¡°Warpaint, maybe?¡± Josh offered. ¡°Or maybe it¡¯s to give it kind of like a science fiction sort of vibe.¡±

    ¡°Hold up.¡± Sara cocked her head to the side. ¡°I wanna talk about warpaint. Because she loses a lot of that makeup later in the film right before she dies. Spoilers.¡±

    Kerry chuckled. ¡°I think we all assumed it was coming.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. But she loses the warpaint when she decides to redeem herself. So is warpaint an evil trait?¡±

    ¡°It could be. As far as cinema is concerned. Literal warpaint is used mostly for tribal appearances, which often signifies an evil character because of the inherent racial profiling of villains. They¡¯re all either super white, and therefore evil, or not white and therefore evil. And warpaint makes the lack of whiteness obvious.¡± Connor sat up as he was talking like he was about to actually give a lecture.

    ¡°Hold up, are you a film or a sociology major?¡± Kerry asked, suddenly taking on a real and serious tone to his voice. ¡°Because you have some good points, but I don¡¯t know if I have the spoons to talk about real stuff right now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re safe, I¡¯m a biology major.¡± Connor cleared his throat, as if trying to signal to change topics.

    ¡°That reminds me, I know you¡¯re pre-law, Josh, but we should say what our majors are in case we have any class overlap outside of electives.¡± Sara had caught the signal and her shift in topic was nearly effortless.

    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°My major is philosophy and rhetoric, actually. But that¡¯s basically the path for pre-law.¡± Josh corrected.

    Kerry held out a finger in a playful gesture. ¡°Business management.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m undeclared, two years and running.¡± Sara grinned ear to ear as she said it as if it was something to be proud of.

    Sara¡¯s announcement turned Josh¡¯s head so he could look at her directly. ¡°Really? You didn¡¯t enroll with any plans?¡±

    ¡°None whatsoever.¡±

    ¡°Why go to college at all then?¡±

    ¡°I wanted to find something that interested me.¡± Sara was starting to deflate as she explained herself. ¡°It¡¯s only the first little bit of college, so it¡¯s no stress¡­ right?¡±

    ¡°Oooooh, woooah!¡± Kerry interrupted everyone as he leaned back into the couch and made a noise that could most accurately be described as an expression of disgust and awe. ¡°They just chucked him right into the propeller! Who does that?!¡±

    Sara burst out laughing at Kerry¡¯s response. ¡°You know, at this point, I¡¯m a little unclear if the lower level henchmen are KGB or just Nazis.¡±

    ¡°This movie makes absolutely no sense, and I¡¯m here for it.¡± Josh joined in on the laughter.

    The movie carried on much the same, though the four watching it became more comfortable with each others boundaries as it went on. Connor began to be more careful about where he steered conversation and Sara preoccupied herself mostly with joking remarks. Josh and Kerry were more comfortable interjecting on their own as well. And by the time the movie ended, everyone seemed like friends. Josh had almost forgotten the real reason why they¡¯d come. In fact he could see himself coming back for regular movie nights.

    ¡°Hey, thank you guys for letting me tag along.¡± Kerry was the first to stand when the movie ended, and the first to try and make a break for it. ¡°But I really should get back home so I can sleep. I¡¯ve got an important day tomorrow, it¡¯s the last day before you can drop out on audits without it permanently showing up on your records.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Sara gave Kerry a knowing smile. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t want to tip anyone in administration off to your methods.¡±

    ¡°No. They might get suspicious.¡± Kerry glanced to Josh, who shrugged, as if to say is it really that big of a deal that I told them? But Kerry didn¡¯t make a big deal out of it, as much as he wanted to. ¡°And it¡¯s my last chance to¡­ well, I¡¯m sure you know.¡±

    Connor couldn¡¯t help but laugh at the embarrassment on Kerry¡¯s face. Not a mean laugh, but still a laugh. ¡°Well, good luck.¡±

    ¡°And remember, you¡¯ve always got a second chance with a Gemini.¡± Sara waggled her eyebrows and Josh burst out laughing at the joke.

    It took Kerry a moment to catch on. ¡°Ah, right. Gemini. Two chances. Anyway. Thanks again for the food, the movie, and the conversation. Certainly made my Sunday night. Let¡¯s head out, Josh.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Josh turned to give both Sara and Connor a nod, almost a bow, but that felt silly. ¡°Thanks for having me over. And let me know if you wanna do this again. I can chip in for food next time.¡±

    Josh got one last look at the marks on both of their arms. They were still there, still just as unearthly as they had been when he first really looked at them. But they didn¡¯t seem to pay them any mind.

    ¡°I¡¯ll text you.¡± Sara smiled, bright as the light Josh had seen when Sara had gotten her mark. It was nearly impossible not to smile back.

    As soon as they had left and the elevator doors had closed for the car to descend back to earth, Kerry was immediately uncomfortable. And he made it obvious.

    ¡°That was weird.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s kind of grown on me.¡± Josh felt bad, like he¡¯d talked down on Connor and Sara when they couldn¡¯t defend themselves.

    Kerry put put the palm of his hand over his face. ¡°Not just the behavior. They definitely didn¡¯t have tattoos. Neither of them.¡±

    ¡°On their left arms? Just above the wrist?¡± Josh was growing slightly more afraid of what his roommate thought.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t see any.¡±

    ¡°But they were so obvious¡­ so..¡± Josh was beginning to forget what the marks looked like.

    It was still so soon after he had looked at them too. It felt like the further away from them he was the less concrete the memory of them was. He couldn¡¯t recall anything about how they looked, other than that they were mesmerizing.

    Back in the apartment, a similar conversation had begun.

    ¡°He saw them. Both marks. I saw him zone out while he was looking at yours.¡± Connor had laid down across the full length of the couch, stretching out his long and lean body to take up nearly the full space. ¡°And it¡¯s probably our fault.¡±

    Connor¡¯s face was in his hands. He didn¡¯t know exactly how to articulate his frustration, and so he just did his best to hide his face from the world.

    ¡°Yes, but did you see how much more comfortable he was around us? Even his roommate was super nice.¡± Sara was trying to find the positive side of the situation. ¡°I think he¡¯s mellowed out to us and he¡¯s probably saying good things on our behalf. Why else would he invite his roommate over?¡±

    Connor let out a deep sigh that lasted for nearly a minute. ¡°I have a theory¡­ I saw Kerry looking at our arms too. But then he just started looking for anything, like he knew something was supposed to be there but he wasn¡¯t sure what or where exactly.¡±

    ¡°You think Josh knows something weird is going on?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah. Definitely. And I think he¡¯s trying to figure it out on his own.¡±

    ¡°Do you think we should tell him?¡±

    ¡°I think we should tell Margot.¡±

    And like that, a decision had been made¡ªunbeknownst to Josh¡ªthat would seal his fate.

 Ch. 8 Hidden Motives

    Margot began to pace around the perimeter of the study, cutting a sharp ninety degree turn around the end table that defined its outer most corner in the apartment. As she rounded the corner for perhaps the fourth or fifth time, she took a deep breath and pressed the bridge of her nose tight between her index finger and thumb.

    ¡°So he saw¡­ you¡¯re sure?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re about eighty percent sure.¡± Connor answered for Sara, who couldn¡¯t bring herself to actually answer her mother.

    ¡°But you¡¯re sure he can see now?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s closer to ninety-nine percent.¡±

    ¡°And the one percent being?¡±

    ¡°A massive coincidence that he kept staring at our left arms.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough.¡± Margot started pacing again. ¡°And he brought his roommate, and you¡¯re pretty sure the roommate can¡¯t see. And what¡¯s worse, you think they both suspect something strange is going on¡­¡±

    ¡°Is that last part so bad?¡± Sara asked weakly. ¡°Something strange is happening. It¡¯s always happening. Josh, at least, should know about it now.¡±

    Margot stopped again, this time near where Sara was curled up on the window seat in the study, and put a comforting hand on her daughter¡¯s head. ¡°I should be more clear. I¡¯m not mad at you. And I¡¯m not disappointed. Not even a little. You did good for your first real challenge as a marked. But you¡¯re right, someone has to tell Josh about what¡¯s happening around him now. And I don¡¯t think it should be me.¡±

    ---

    Sara approached Josh alone.

    It was very nearly like the first time they¡¯d talked in front of the doors of the astronomy lecture hall after class. Same place, same time of day, Sara even wore the same t-shirt underneath her hoodie for good luck. What Josh noticed though, was the same smile that he¡¯d seen the first time she had approached him. She was bright and bold, and yet somehow still a little nervous, still a little vulnerable.

    ¡°So¡­ I think I should talk to you about something¡­¡±

    Josh stopped and prepared himself. Her tone did not speak of casual conversation. ¡°Oh. Okay? Is something wrong?¡±

    ¡°No. No. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s just kind of private.¡± Sara couldn¡¯t help twisting her fingers together nervously while she spoke. ¡°Do you mind coming with me to the observatory? It¡¯s the middle of the day so it should be empty.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Josh couldn¡¯t think of a good reason to say no. He wanted to. But he didn¡¯t want to be rude and risk ruining a growing friendship. ¡°Okay. Sure. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    Josh held his arm out for Sara to lead the way and she eagerly began to march towards the nearest stairwell. It was a bit tiring to walk up the four flights to the ladder on the top floor of the building, and worse than it could have been at any other time since they were both carrying bags. When they reached the steep stair to the small observatory dome on top of the building, Sara paused to check around the deserted hallway as if she anticipated that someone was following them. Satisfied that no one was, she nodded her head for Josh to follow her up the precarious steps to the near hatch-like door.

    Inside the dome¡ªwhich was only about twelve feet wide in diameter¡ªthere were some chairs, a desk, the modest department telescope, and a whole lot of stale air. To top it all off, the room was very poorly lit. There was a single dull yellow bulb screwed into an exposed socket right next to the door, which Sara had turned on as soon as she opened the door. And as soon as Josh followed her in, she closed the door quietly behind them.

    For a moment, Sara looked as though she wanted to talk but didn¡¯t know what to say. Then without warning, she dropped her bag and began to remove her hoodie. For a moment, Josh feared she was going to remove her top altogether. But only the hoodie was removed. The removal left her arms mostly bare and Josh was again confronted with the mark on her left arm that he couldn¡¯t ignore, and he knew immediately that that was what this was about.

    ¡°You can see that¡­ can¡¯t you.¡± Sara held her arm out.

    ¡°I¡¯m not entirely sure¡­¡± Josh tried to deny her claim, but he was quickly interrupted.

    ¡°Don¡¯t play stupid, I know you¡¯re not. You¡¯re not blind either¡­ and neither an I.¡± Sara¡¯s tone was uncharacteristically severe. ¡°You can see the mark on my arm.¡±

    Josh sighed. Despite his fears he knew there was only one option. ¡°Yes. I can see that. Whatever that is.¡±

    ¡°And you know that¡¯s not normal¡­ right?¡±

    ¡°Considering Kerry can¡¯t see it, and your mom and Connor have the exact same spiral pattern tattoo on their arms¡­ which I did not see before¡­ yeah. I kind of figured that it wasn¡¯t normal.¡±

    Sara began to bite her lip as she contemplated what she should say next, but Josh didn¡¯t give her the chance to explain any further.

    ¡°And I saw, at least I think I saw, your mom give you that.¡± Josh pressed his fingertips into his forehead to try and alleviate some of the pressure from the stress he was experiencing. ¡°So, clearly it isn¡¯t just a tattoo. And the way it almost glows, I don¡¯t think that can be done safely with ink.¡±

    Sara smiled weakly at the honesty. ¡°See, I told you you weren¡¯t stupid. But you did do something kind of stupid. You shouldn¡¯t have brought Kerry into this. You shouldn¡¯t have told anyone, and you still shouldn¡¯t tell anyone about it. They won¡¯t just think you¡¯re crazy, which they probably will, but telling the wrong people could get someone hurt.¡±

    If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    The words Josh was hearing were churning up a brand new and difficult to process fear. Not just that he could get someone hurt, but that there was actually a bigger secret at play. It was a scenario out of a novel, but Josh didn¡¯t want that sort of secret or responsibility thrust on him. He never had. He was too normal to deal with that kind of bizarre ordeal. And it went against most of what he wanted to accomplish in life. Harboring a secret that could harm others was the exact opposite of helping people in his mind.

    Sara seemed to pick up on the fear that Josh was feeling.

    ¡°I know that¡¯s kind of a big bomb to drop, but I needed to tell you sooner rather than later. Really, we should have told you even sooner, but we weren¡¯t sure you actually could see them and we didn¡¯t want to risk you getting hurt if you couldn¡¯t.¡±

    There was no good way to respond to Sara. At least none that Josh could think of. His mind was racing and he couldn¡¯t keep up. Was this real? Was he having a fever dream? Was he imagining things because he was overwhelmed that a girl had asked him into a secluded and private space one on one? Was it actual magic? Was he even awake? Josh pinched himself quickly and quickly realized that he was awake.

    ¡°That¡¯s about right¡­¡± Sara chuckled. ¡°It probably doesn¡¯t feel real. Right? Even stranger than a billionaire military science experiment gone wrong trying to blow up an entire city so he can corner the world market on microchips. But not as wild.¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t help but laugh as well. ¡°I guess you could say that. It¡¯s a small scale kind of weird. It¡¯s personal, and it¡¯s more than a little frightening.¡±

    ¡°I know. When I was little, my mother tried to explain it all to me and I nearly ran away from home. She didn¡¯t know what to do. I wouldn¡¯t talk to her at all. But then one day I realized that there was no way it couldn¡¯t be real, because she was real. And her mark was real. And that was enough for me.¡± Sara seemed to relax. ¡°And you¡¯re not a little girl, and I¡¯m not calling you one, but it isn¡¯t very complicated. People with these marks are different, and that makes other people angry. And¡­ I could try to tell you more, but it wouldn¡¯t be complete. I¡¯m still new to this half of the equation myself.¡±

    Rather than let Sara continue to ramble on, Josh held up a hand to interrupt. ¡°But, what if I want to just¡­ go on with my life and not get involved?¡±

    ¡°You could.¡± Sara looked sad for probably the first time at that prospect. ¡°But I would like it¡­ I think you should talk to my mom first. She can tell you what you need to know before you make that decision.¡±

    ¡°What if I can¡¯t go back to my normal life if I hear that?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ you can¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t think what my mom has to say would do that. She knows what she¡¯s doing and she wouldn¡¯t put you in front of a danger she wouldn¡¯t face with you.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Josh let out a breath he hadn¡¯t realized he had been holding. ¡°When can I talk to your mother?¡±

    The faint smile on Sara¡¯s face was an obvious sign of hurt. Hurt that Josh had had to be convinced of doing what she felt was the right thing. It went against her opinion of him. ¡°She¡¯ll be by tonight, around six. She might crash on our couch.¡±

    ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll be there. Six thirty?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯ll be ready.¡±

    After a near minute of silent nodding where neither Sara nor Josh could decide how best to leave. They both had to go a fairly long distance before their paths diverged, and they both knew it. But there was nothing left to say.

    ¡°You can go on ahead, I need to think about some thing.¡± Josh nodded to the side to gesture Sara away.

    Sara offered one last nod and headed out the door to the small observatory, leaving Josh alone with his thoughts. Thoughts of panic and fear, of mystery and disbelief. There was no way he could believe what he was being pulled in to. But at the same time there was no way he could deny it either. If it was a hallucination, it was a strangely consistent one. And what was worse, Josh felt fine¡ªunlike he had the day he helped Sara and Connor move¡ªand couldn¡¯t come up with any reason as to why he would be hallucinating or imagining things.

    After about ten minutes of time to himself, Josh flipped the observatory light off and made his way back down through the building. And waiting for him, at the bottom floor, was Kerry. Josh had seen his roommate leave the lecture hall earlier when class had gotten out, but it had been at least twenty minutes since then.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± Josh asked as soon as he was within ear shot.

    Kerry had made eye contact as soon as Josh was visible, making it clear he had waited for his roommate. But there wasn¡¯t any visible motive or expression on his face. What was worse, or so Josh thought, was that Kerry was not watching out for girls. Several passed right in front of Kerry before Josh made his way over and there had been no visible reaction on the face of his girl crazy roommate.

    ¡°Did you sneak off with Sara after class?¡± It was the worst possible question that Josh could have heard after the conversation he had had with Sara.

    ¡°Yeah. She took me aside to talk. But it was just about movie night.¡± Josh wasn¡¯t sure what he should say, if anything. Kerry finding out more could be dangerous for him. ¡°But I checked for tattoos again, and I didn¡¯t see anything. I think I may have just been seeing things. Like when you stand up really fast and you haven¡¯t had enough water. It was just my eyes being out of focus.¡±

    Kerry¡¯s eyebrow went up in calm disbelief. ¡°Are you sure? You seemed pretty adamant about it the other night.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see how else I could have seen something that wasn¡¯t there though. So I might have been sure then, but I¡¯m not anymore.¡± Josh shook his head as he tried to dig back into a topic that he had talked over with Kerry before. ¡°Like in trial, witness testimony can change over time. It¡¯s part of why human witness testimonies are so unreliable. All you have to do is ask the right question and the witness won¡¯t believe their own story anymore.¡±

    ¡°Alright. But promise me one thing, okay?¡±

    ¡°That depends on what the promise is.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t go back there for a while. I don¡¯t trust them.¡±

    ¡°Sara invited me over tonight to go over notes from today¡¯s lecture.¡± Josh had to think of some kind of excuse, and he couldn¡¯t bear lying outright. He was going to speak to Margot, and it wasn¡¯t something he wanted to hide. He wasn¡¯t a teenager anymore, there was no need to sneak out after dark.

    ¡°That¡¯s my one condition, Josh.¡± Kerry shook his head. ¡°Please, just say you¡¯ll keep your distance.¡±

    Josh didn¡¯t want to argue about it, least of all in public, but it seemed like he needed to do some kind of defending of himself. ¡°You know how bad I am at meeting new people and getting along with them¡­ how many friends have you seen me make in the whole time we¡¯ve known each other?¡±

    Kerry let out a deep sigh as he answered. ¡°Zero. Because you don¡¯t talk to people. That¡¯s what makes me nervous. You¡¯re changing your pattern of behavior so quickly with Sara. Do you like her? Is there more going on?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s nice, Kerry.¡± Josh didn¡¯t have to lie about that, and it made it all the more comforting to say out loud. ¡°And sincere. There isn¡¯t an ulterior motive in her head, and I don¡¯t think she could handle one if it crept in. She¡¯s innocent.¡±

    ¡°Not that innocent¡­¡±

    ¡°Well, she¡¯s the nicest person I¡¯ve met in a long time and I don¡¯t want to mess it up.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Fine¡­ fine¡­¡± Kerry shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t exactly think she¡¯s going to hurt you, or that Connor is. But if you start seeing things again, leave. That¡¯s my bare minimum request.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Done. If things start getting weird again¡­ or weirder. I¡¯ll leave.¡±

 Passing on a Mark of Possibility

    A mark of possibility, which will be explained more later, has a rather simple process by which it is passed on from a being which already has one to one that does not.

    When both the mark holder and receiver agree to participate in the process, the receiver hold out their left arm and the holder places their left forearm to the receivers. The holder than encircles the receivers arms in a motion that keeps constant skin contact. The process can, but does not always, generate a great deal of light and sometimes heat.

    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Witnessing someone receive a mark, when you yourself are not someone who can see or receive one, alters your fate and allows you to see and potentially receive a mark. To this end, the passing on of a mark of possibility is usually done in private.

    The act is also somewhat intimate, and generally only performed by individuals that trust each other a great deal. Such relationships often take the form of a trusted mentor and student.

 Ch.9 A Not-So-Subtle Exchange

    Josh was not entirely sure how long he had waited in silence in front of the apartment door on the top floor of the Benedictine. He knew the residents were probably aware that he was waiting outside, but was comforted by their respectful distance that they maintained. If they had come out to draw him into the apartment, he wasn¡¯t sure how he would react. He might have even run away. But eventually he worked up the courage to knock, and, before he knew it, he was sitting on the window seat with his back to an amazing view of the city and campus. And sitting on the desk across the small cozy space from him was Margot.

    Rather than linger anxiously, Sara had elected to sit on the opposite site of the apartment in the living room. Sara could still hear what was being said, but she had positioned herself so that she could not see what was happening and so as to make it obvious if she turned around to insert herself in the discussion. And to her credit, she was doing a fantastic job of minding her own business. Her patience made it clear to everyone in the apartment that she cared about what was happening behind her.

    Margot hadn¡¯t been sure where to start given the circumstances, and figured that an easier and less involved question would be as good a point as any. ¡°Out of curiosity, what does the mark look like to you?¡±

    ¡°Sort of a four striped spiral that winds around your arm.¡± Josh was looking closely at the mark on Margot¡¯s exposed forearm. The words didn¡¯t come easy, but seeing it definitely helped him describe what he was seeing. ¡°Does it not look like that to you?¡±

    ¡°What these marks are¡­ is¡­ they aren¡¯t quite physical. Not in the way that the ink in a tattoo is physical. They look different to everyone that can see them, but they all look the same to the same person. And the way they look reflects the unique perceptions of individuals.¡± Margot paused to hold her arm out so that they could both see it, and she began to trace a pattern that did not match what Josh was seeing. ¡°For instance, what I see is much more complicated. Winding dendrite type lines and blotches in mirrored alignment like a psychiatric test. But, together, they almost look like a chain of bodily organs that make up the innards of some alien creature¡­¡±

    As Margot described what she saw Josh thought he could see it for a moment. Maybe it was because Margot was tracing what she saw, or maybe it was a trait of the mark. But as soon as she stopped, the spiral pattern returned.

    ¡°It¡¯s because what the marks actually look like is antithetical to reality as we normally see it. Your mind can¡¯t decipher the real appearance, so it shows you the best way it can in a way that lets you know its there.¡± Margot explained slowly. Josh could tell she was being very deliberate with her words. They didn¡¯t seem to match her attitude or previous conversational patterns she had expressed. ¡°And the people that can¡¯t see them, most people can¡¯t see them because they live so far into the understanding of what is normal that their minds are afraid to show them anything.¡±

    ¡°So why couldn¡¯t I see them and now I can?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s three,¡± Margot stopped herself, and then continued as if one of the things she was going to explain was too complicated. ¡°Well, two ways that you can really see these marks. The first way is the most common. People who are fated to be ground to dust and have no future in this world, but are not yet slaves to it, can see them from the moment they¡¯re born. These marks are not common though, so a lot of people that can see them never do or never think to ask about them. The second way is through witnessing a mark being passed on.¡±

    Josh whispered, mostly to himself, but was loud enough that Margot could hear him. ¡°And that¡¯s what happened.¡±

    ¡°Your mind has seen something impossible, and in a way that it cannot deny has happened.¡± Margot let out a deep breath as if she was delivering bad news. ¡°And it means that you are very likely destined to be a slave to the world, rather than a successful conqueror of it.¡±

    It was difficult for Josh to look up at Margot and make eye contact. There was an odd mix of shame and fear bubbling through his mind. Uncertainty as to how he should feel about the information he was being presented with certainly made him want to stare at his own feet. But the mark was all he could look at, and looking away seemed just as painful as the idea of looking Margot in the eyes. And yet, somehow, he managed to, if only for a few seconds.

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    ¡°You keep talking like they¡¯re more out there than just our world. Do I want to know about that? I mean, if I want to go on and try to get back to my normal life.¡±

    Margot slid off the desk and came over to sit by Josh. It was meant to be a comforting shift, but Josh did not appreciate it. ¡°There isn¡¯t really a way to go back to the world you knew now. You knew too much the moment you tested whether or not you were sane. And you could try, but you would be putting yourself at risk. If you don¡¯t want anything to do with us or want to know anything else about the world you¡¯re part of now, I won¡¯t force anything on you. But staying close to us and letting us take responsibility for what has happened to you, it could prevent some very bad things from happening to you.¡±

    Josh collapsed forward and started to curl up in his seat. ¡°I don¡¯t want to take advantage of your guilt. I can tell you all regret what happened. And while I don¡¯t understand why you do, or what really happened, that¡¯s not my problem. I don¡¯t want to be some character in a fantasy story. I don¡¯t want to live dangerously. I want to be a boring lawyer that handles estates and property and¡­ and taxes. I want to live comfortably and without having to worry about some unseen threat I don¡¯t know anything about.¡±

    ¡°There are so many things that you don¡¯t understand about what you want out of life and what your options are now. If you knew everything, about these marks and where they come from and what they do¡­ I don¡¯t know what you would do with that information, but I think you deserve to know it. To make a more educate choice about what you want to do from here on out.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve given me a very hard choice to make.¡± Josh partially uncurled himself, enough that Margot could see his face. ¡°I could live my life like normal, pretend nothing happened. But I¡¯ll always be able to see the marks on people and I¡¯ll never be able to really escape that. And I could learn more and make a more education decision, but I would be even less likely to have any semblance of a normal life.¡±

    ¡°I think¡­¡± Margot had a pained look on her face a combination of struggling to find the right words and wanting to help but being unable to. ¡°I think maybe you¡¯re too tied up in wanting to be normal. Normal is¡­ subjective. You never have to get a mark of your own, and you can still try to be what you think is normal, but at least let us show you what normal could be. And more importantly, let us protect you. At least while we can.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m doomed no matter what, right? My curiosity got the better of me and I¡¯m paying for it. I might as well learn what I¡¯m doomed to.¡±

    There was a harsh conflict playing out in Josh¡¯s mind. He was still curious. But he had already started to realize how much danger his curiosity had already put him in. Kerry had probably been near calling a doctor to check on his sanity, and he was realizing that saying the wrong thing to the wrong person could lead to a much harsher response. He could be institutionalized. And it was likely, if only because he was not a convincing liar. But the more he learned, the more he would have to lie and the more danger he would be putting himself in. At least as long as he tried to be the person he had always been. But he was starting to realize what Margot meant by letting them protect him.

    ¡°When you say protect, you mean isolate. Don¡¯t you.¡± Josh slid away from Margot to look her in the eye and judge her reaction. ¡°I¡¯ll be safer if I spend more time with you and less time with people who don¡¯t have marks like that. Because I¡¯ll be less likely to incriminate myself or accidentally convince someone I¡¯m insane.¡±

    ¡°Partly.¡± Margot nodded slowly. ¡°That is a benefit. But there are active threats too. There are some people that are very antagonistic towards those of us who bear marks. And staying close to us mean we can protect you.¡±

    Josh was about to interject that that made no sense. That he wouldn¡¯t get singled out if he didn¡¯t have a mark, and the only threat he would face, by Margot¡¯s logic, was collateral damage from staying close.

    ¡°And I¡¯m not talking about fighting or anything like that. Yes, there¡¯s a small threat of violence. But most of the threat is social. They¡¯ll try to make it so we can¡¯t have money, they¡¯ll try to give us criminal records, and they¡¯ll threaten the people all around us if they figure out who we are. And we can prevent that from happening. We can stay ahead of suspicion. We move around a lot, we avoid detection, and we help each other. Without a mark, you won¡¯t be able to protect yourself in the same way on your own. And without a mark, they can still single you out because we¡¯ve all spent time with you. They¡¯ll know there¡¯s a chance you have the potential to get something they can¡¯t and they¡¯ll treat you the same way they treat us.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound enticing.¡± Josh shook his head.

    He was about to reject everything he¡¯d just been told and leave when Margot said something that triggered something within him that he did not understand.

    ¡°Earlier you said you were doomed.¡± She said. ¡°And that¡¯s partly true. But it doesn¡¯t have to be bad. You¡¯re fated, not doomed. There¡¯s something inevitable hanging over your future now, something that wasn¡¯t there before, but it doesn¡¯t have to be bad. Let me show you how it can be good.¡±

 Ch.10 A Not-So-Subtle Arrangement

    ¡°Okay, so I want to learn more. Go ahead and tell me. Tell me everything.¡±

    Josh was resigned to his fate at that point. If there was no point in avoiding the full truth, he might as well know all of it.

    ¡°No.¡± Margot¡¯s curt reply was immediately infuriating to Josh.

    ¡°What do you mean no? You just¡­¡±

    ¡°No for now.¡± Margot interrupted. ¡°It would take days to explain everything to you and even then you wouldn¡¯t be able to understand it all. For now, you get two questions. And I reserve the right to refuse to answer either if they¡¯re too complicated. Is that acceptable?¡±

    ¡°Sure?¡± Josh didn¡¯t know how to respond to the ultimatum he was suddenly being given.

    ¡°I¡¯m not counting that as your first question even though it sure did sound like one.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± Josh let out a long sigh. He had no idea it was going to be this tedious to learn anything from Margot. He might not have agreed to accept her help if he had. ¡°Fist question. What do the marks do?¡±

    ¡°Ah, now you¡¯re getting somewhere.¡± Margot tapped her finger to nose in a gesture Josh didn¡¯t quite understand. ¡°These marks access our potential. And not in a we only use twenty percent of our brain kind of way. It¡¯s less literal than that. It¡¯s¡­ kind of a complicated answer, but its not hard to explain with a visual aid. Sara, do you still have a white board?¡±

    Sara, who had been listening in this whole time, jumped up off the couch immediately and made a break for her bedroom. ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll be right back with it!¡±

    The second Sara was out of earshot, Margot turned sharply back to Josh and whispered, ¡°If you ever get my daughter hurt, I¡¯ll kill you myself. Clear?¡±

    Sara was back in the room before Josh could respond, and now that she was back all he could do was nod. It wasn¡¯t an unreasonable warning, but it had been sudden. It made sense that Margot had waited until Sara was away too, though Josh wasn¡¯t sure that had been the purpose of sending Sara away. The sudden shift in tone in Margot¡¯s voice, between when she had sent off Sara, offered her warning, and then once Sara had returned, was disorienting and it made it difficult for Josh to focus on what she was saying.

    ¡°The best way I can describe this is with a more math based approach, and I¡¯m not great at maths, so bear with me.¡± Margot popped the cap off of a dry erase marker and began scribbling something on the white board that was now covering her lap. ¡°Lets consider two subjects, John and Stacy. John has what we¡¯ll call a life potential value of seventy-eight. That¡¯s a little below average, but it¡¯s certainly not zero. And Stacy have a life potential value of one hundred and thirty, a little above average. And the world as we know it has a filter that separates individuals based on that life potential value. Anyone below one hundred will be barely successful in their life or not successful at all, and anyone above one hundred will be successful. Are you following me?¡±

    Margot was pointing down to the white board where she¡¯d drawn stick figures and added numbers and a line between the two figures. Josh nodded his head even though he wasn¡¯t entirely sure where she was taking her explanation. Sara had lingered after handing over the white board and was nodding her head from where she sat opposite Margot.

    ¡°One last assumption. Let¡¯s assume these values are fated and irrevocable. John will always have a value of seventy-eight, Stacy will always have a value of one hundred and thirty. And as their lives play out, Stacy will use her up to her entire capacity of one hundred and thirty potential as her successes lead to further successes that she can take advantage of up to a point. But John, as he is only ever marginally successful, and presented with little opportunity as a result, only uses up to forty potential.¡± Margot was still writing as she spoke, but now we was doing actual math on the board as well. ¡°That leaves thirty-eight points of potential untapped.¡±

    ¡°And a mark taps into that potential that get unused¡­¡± Josh filled in the blanks.

    ¡°Right. And these numbers are arbitrary, but that filter is more or less real.¡± Margot had mostly scrapped her diagram, but was still doodling idly Some people have a lot of potential, usually the ones that are deeply apart of the world they live in. I¡¯m not entirely sure how that part works. But those people can¡¯t see the marks. And conversely, people with lower potential can¡­ but they usually don¡¯t for other reasons that are more complicated than this explanation already is. But the people that can see marks innately are all low potential. And the mark makes up for that lack of used potential and low innate potential by manifesting certain things.¡±

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    Josh waited for Margot to go on, but she had stopped short of where the explanation seemed to be going. ¡°You¡¯re going to make me use my second question to ask what sort of things the mark manifests¡­ aren¡¯t you.¡±

    Margot said nothing, but a chuckle from Sara and a playful smile from her mother seemed to indicate that that was the case.

    ¡°Fine, second question¡­ what do the marks actually do?¡±

    ¡°They all do different things depending on the person. The same way everyone sees them differently, they rely on your perception of your shortcomings to bridge the gap.¡± Margot stood and walked over to the large wooden desk that had been sitting in the study area when they had moved in. And, without warning, lifted the desk from its center mass with just one hand. ¡°Mine gives me strength that my body can¡¯t have on its own.¡±

    ¡°So you get superpowers?¡± Josh knew it was another question but it seemed to follow naturally and he had already been cheated out of his second question.

    ¡°No¡­ well¡­ almost.¡± Margot put the desk down and sat on top of it. ¡°It isn¡¯t inaccurate, but it isn¡¯t in the spirit of what the mark does either. And I could explain more, but that¡¯s all the questions I want to answer today.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to say anything else, mom?¡± Sara goaded her mother. ¡°Anything¡­ about safety?¡±

    ¡°No. Now get back to studying.¡± Margot turned again to Josh as her daughter groaned and moved to the other side of the room again. ¡°There¡¯s one last thing. And you can decide not to do this, but I personally would feel a lot better if you let me teach you how to defend yourself.¡±

    Josh started to shake his head, but then caught himself. The thought of learning self defense wasn¡¯t exactly appealing, he¡¯d never gotten in a fight before. But he had also never really ventured out much. And now his life was changing and he had no idea what was waiting for him. The thought occurred to him that at the very least he should be able to defend himself if worst came to worst.

    ¡°And before you say no¡­¡± Margot paused for a moment. ¡°Whenever you come over and I¡¯m here, I¡¯ll answer two questions about marks and related things. And¡­ I hesitate to offer this, because I doubt it will happen and I don¡¯t want to give you a false hope. But if you can pin me while sparring, I¡¯ll answer an additional question every time.¡±

    Josh gave Margot a confused look. ¡°Do you think I¡¯m that impatient?¡±

    ¡°I suppose not.¡± Margot let out a single humph of a laugh. ¡°And like I said, it would be unlikely to happen. So, we can scratch that.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll get anywhere goading me either. Not that I need it, I think self defense lessons would be a good idea.¡±

    ¡°You an spar against me if you think that¡¯ll be easier!¡± Sara called from across the room.

    Her offer made Josh blush. Getting into close quarters with Sara would be awkward but interesting. Almost like the equivalent of playing twister with a girl in high school, except now the girl would be trying to harm him.

    ¡°Alright, you can spar with Connor and Sara to start off with, it¡¯ll probably be a good idea to practice all together since they¡¯re so rusty now. What days do you have the lightest course load? We should practice weekly, at least.¡±

    ¡°How about Wednesdays? I have easy lectures Thursday mornings.¡±

    ¡°Not weekends?¡± Sara asked loudly from across the apartment again. She was trying not to intrude on the conversation, but the longer it went on the harder and harder it had become for her.

    ¡°Weekends are for movie nights, right?¡± Even though Josh suspected that movie night had probably been a ploy to observe him, it had still been a good time.

    ¡°Of course they are.¡± Sara had turned to face her mother and Josh, and she was beaming. ¡°But that¡¯s Sunday. You could come over Saturdays to do some exercises¡­¡±

    Margot had a strained look on her face but she didn¡¯t say anything to indicate why. ¡°If you want we can train and talk every Wednesday and Saturday. Would you be comfortable doing that?¡±

    ¡°I can back out and stop any time I want if things get too weird, right?¡± Josh had been hopeful when he asked but upon seeing the serious and troubled expression he was answered with he became nervous. ¡°Right?¡±

    ¡°You can try.¡±

    ¡°Okay. I should go.¡± Josh stood awkwardly, unsure of how many more ominous messages he could take before things truly progressed to the point where he felt he needed to follow his roommate¡¯s advice.

    Up to that point ¡®weird¡¯ had been more subjective, Josh already knew something unnatural was happening around him that he couldn¡¯t explain and talking about it was hardly weird in and of itself. But the cryptics were becoming too much.

    Before he could make it to the apartment door, however, Sara had jumped up to great him. And there was no getting past her. Without a word, she hugged him tightly around his whole body¡ªarms included. It wasn¡¯t so tight that she was squeezing him, in actually felt quite relaxing to be held in place like that. And just as it was becoming awkward as well, Sara withdrew and smiled. She seemed to know that there were too many words being said and that Josh was becoming overwhelmed.

    And with that send off, Josh departed back into the world he had know his whole life. But as he descended in the elevator, he couldn¡¯t help but think how it was no longer the real and normal world. Not to him. Not anymore.

 Marks of Possibility

    A mark of possibility is the semi-physical manifestation and empowerment of unrealized potential.

    It is called a mark of possibility because there is a set amount of potential in each person, and a consequently finite amount of achievement that they can reach because of it. When that potential is high enough to be significant but too low to break through past the successes of others, you have the potential to gain a mark. It is something of a convoluted equation, and it is unclear why this is the case.

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    Only those with the potential to gain marks can see them. And, if you do not have a mark, you cannot describe one without looking at one.

    In order to receive a mark, a marked being must arrive at a mutual consensus with you.

    When a mark is received, it is dormant. You will be marked, but gain no other inherent benefit from it.

    When someone that you know, that cannot see marks, manifests their own potential and gains success in life and begins to forget about you, your mark will become activated.

    An activated mark will guide you to the abstract world. And once there, will awaken your full potential.

 Ch.11 Confusing Dreams

    After learning what could have very well been a bunch of lies, Josh had returned home to his dorm and sequestered himself. His mind was awash with doubts.

    Was anything Margot told him even real? It all seemed too fantastical to be possible. But he¡¯d seen her lift that desk, and many other heavy things when her body looked like she could hardly have any muscle at all. Something was strange about her at least, supernatural or no. And then Sara and Connor had the same marks on their arms as Margot. The exact same. And there was no possible way they were made in any conventional way. But they weren¡¯t strictly speaking impossible. And the light Josh had seen when he witnessed Sara get her mark could have been performed with some kind of lighting and mirrors. Really nothing he had seen couldn¡¯t be explained away by some sort of illusion or deceptive tactic.

    Dismissing what he had seen didn¡¯t sit well with him though. The explanation he had been given didn¡¯t seem to have an ulterior motive, at least not one that Josh could see. Though the method he was being given information made it feel like there was something dishonest going on behind the scenes. There didn¡¯t seem to be a reason why Margot wouldn¡¯t tell him everything, or at least more than two questions. Even if it was complicated, it would have made more sense to explain as much as possible so that questions could be asked while they were still freshly thought. It made Josh afraid that there was something genuinely dangerous or sinister waiting for him just a little further down the path; something which, once he heard about it, would make him want to bail out. But of course, at the rate he was learning, he would be too far invested to bail out at the proper time. He¡¯d fall victim to the sunken cost fallacy and probably be stuck paying for the decisions he had just made.

    And as Josh laid in bed, trying to ignore the sound of Kerry socializing in the next room over, he couldn¡¯t help but hash out every possible danger and risk he now faced. And when he had accumulated the list of likely dangers, he moved to the less likely ones¡ªthe ones that hinged on some sort of magical force being real and active in the world¡ªand from those to the unlikely and increasingly more sinister scenarios. Normally the activity would have been calming, as he could apply logic and reason to eliminate the unlikely and absurd things that scared him so that he could exist apart from those fears. But the world was different now, even if the powers that Margot and Sara had led him to believe existed weren¡¯t real there was enough doubt in his head that he couldn¡¯t dismiss the absurd and illogical fears.

    Even as Josh fell asleep, the terrors in his mind began to gather and multiply, and his dreams were poisoned with the touch of the uncertainty. What should have clearly been dreams could have been real and Josh would have never known. In fact, he didn¡¯t realize he had started to dream when his dreams began that night.

    Without being able to recall where he had come from or where he was going, Josh found himself walking down the city streets around campus. Passing by his preferred bakery, the campus library, and then the science building where he had met with Sara in the observatory that very day. Of course it didn¡¯t feel like he had met her that day. The day itself felt like the first one he had spent at school when he had ventured out to explore the surrounding area ad get a feel for it. Even the weather seemed to match that first day.

    But as Josh walked about the city, it dawned on him that things were out of place. Locations that were next to each other as he passed them were not normally so close together. The world around the corners of what he saw was blurry and the more he noticed and the more he moved about the space he found himself in, the more sluggish his vision and sensations became. And then, as he began to realize that he was dreaming, and his vision began to black out sporadically, he became aware of a shift in the dream. Someone had approached him. And as Josh strained to open his eyes, he felt a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes opened suddenly to see a masked man pull a knife free of his body and retreat into an alleyway. Josh looked down at his hands to see them covered in blood, before pain began to course through his body. For a moment, he thought he would wake up, but the pain didn¡¯t startle him into consciousness. Instead Josh found himself lumbering down the alleyway after his attacker. He left blood smears on the walls and a steady trickle trailed behind him on the ground.

    The net moment Josh looked up, there was nowhere in the direction he was going. Whoever he was chasing was gone. He looked down and the blood on his hands was dried and dark. The alleyway he had stumbled through was crumbling. The ground was splintering into cracks beneath his feet. And for a second, just a brief second, Josh looked up and saw tree roots protruding from an earthen dome above him. But as he looked up, he fell. Into darkness for a brief moment, and then into blinding sterile whiteness.

    As he was engulfed in the empty white void, he ceased falling; at least, the sensation of falling was gone. Rather than fall, a translucent pale indigo bubble formed around him. It never touched his body, and if he was falling it was falling at the same speed and positioned just perfectly that he couldn¡¯t touch it if he wanted. And while it was uncertain and mysterious, Josh felt safer knowing there was something between him and the endless expanse beyond it. Safe in the same way that a diver feels with goggles on. Josh looked through the opaque bubble¡ªpartly because there was nothing else to do from within it, partly because something ineffable within his mind urged him too¡ªand watched the void he had entered and was shielded from. And as he looked, he noticed that it was not quite as empty as he had thought.

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    There were other similar bubbles off in the distance. He couldn¡¯t tell how far away they were, or how big they were, but they were there falling with him. Or were they falling. Josh still couldn¡¯t surmise if he was moving in a direction or not. But the other bubbles seemed to be offset from him, some higher, some lower, some closer, some further away and partially obscured by other bubbles. If they were all falling, Josh imagined that the collection of bubbles might look a lot like pearl beads being broken free from a snapped necklace as they plummeted to the floor. But there wasn¡¯t any floor, just like there wasn¡¯t any necklace to fall from.

    The more Josh looked out from his bubble, the more disoriented he became. He no longer remembered which way he had fallen initially, or if there was a way that was up at all. He couldn¡¯t tell how long he had been in the bubble either. In fact, the only thing that alerted him to the passage of time at all was something out of the ordinary. A bubble dropped¡ª or moved, Josh couldn¡¯t be sure the way it moved was down, but it moved parallel to the way his body was stretched out¡ªclose by his own. There was an indistinct shadow in a human shape concealed within it. Soon after the other bubbled sped past, Josh saw it stop.

    It didn¡¯t stop suddenly, or completely, not at first at least. But it looked like it was caught in a sheet, or like it landed in a thick syrup. It bowed down against some invisible elastic plane, popped back up a short distance and then settled back down to a point where it sat. And while it sat there, Josh realized that he too was moving toward the same vertical position. He was falling. The other bubble had just been falling faster.

    With a lurch, Josh impacted the same elastic plane as the other bubble had. For once, his feet touched the indigo barrier around him and he was forced to collapse into the bottom of it. Unlike the sensation of being stabbed, colliding with the bubble was not painful; though, it did feel unnaturally painless. As the bubble jostled back up into a more level place, Josh could feel it stick to whatever it had come into contact with. And as it lurched back upwards he was flung into the top of the bubble and fell again painlessly to the bottom. After the impact, the bubble was still and Josh felt a sense of direction again.

    The bubbled that had landed first was surprisingly close and roughly the same size as Josh¡¯s. He couldn¡¯t see through the surface of it, but if he were able to reach past the limits of his own bubble he would have been able to touch the other one. And as soon as that crossed his mind, he was filled with an uncontrollable urge to try and do so. The urge made no sense, but as Josh reached out with his left hand, it passed through the indigo barrier. Josh had to brace himself against the barrier with his right hand, which strangely did not pass through it, in order to reach out in the right direction. His hand made it through easily enough, though it felt a little numb as it exited the bubble, but as soon as his arm began to be exposed it began to burn. Not like a heat burn, but like an acid burn. And worst still, there was a force pulling it further out like an incredibly powerful vacuum. Josh couldn¡¯t fight against the pull and it slowly became too painful to feel. By the time his arm had been pulled out up to his elbow it was completely numb.

    And that was where it stopped. But Josh quickly realized that it was more than just pain and numbness. His arm felt distinctly and indescribably different, as though it was not his arm but a phantom arm sewn own from another body. More noticeably though, and to Josh¡¯s horror, there was a pattern on his left arm now. A mark like a tattoo but it seemed to shine and change color subtly. It was formed by a band at the wrist, a band just below the elbow, and four lines that made a tight spiral between the two bands. Josh recognized it immediately.

    But the mark appearing on his arm, which was not really his arm, was not the most horrifying thing that transpired as he slept. What woke him was.

    His arm was stuck where it was, partially outside of the bubble and reaching towards the other one that was close by. And while he was trying to pull his arm back in, Josh saw a movement in the bobble opposite him. The humanoid form obscured by the bubbles opaque outer sheen shifted into a position not unlike his own, braced up against the side as it was. And like lightning, an arm whipped out from the other bubble, reaching well beyond the limits of its elbow, and grabbed hold of his hand. The touch was cold and clammy, as if it had been submerged in water for a long time and it was wrinkly and weak. But the grip was strong and powerful. It began to pull Josh¡¯s arm and more of his body was pulled into the void around the two bubbles. The pulling was slow at first, almost unsure, but as soon as the other arm felt some give it yanked hard and Josh was quickly pulled out of his bubble altogether.

    For a moment, Josh felt that strange sensation that had been localized to just his arm before. That alien sensation that came from himself, like his flesh was someone else¡¯ and did not belong as part of his body. For a moment, as his whole body was exposed to that feeling, he felt whole. And for a moment, as his hand was pulled into the other bubble, he felt something wet and slimy¡ªlike he had dipped his hand into a vat of thick grease. And as his head was pulled through, in that sudden jerking motion he had been dragged along with, he woke up.

    Josh bolted upright in his bed. He was still in the clothes he had worn the day before, as he had never bothered to change them. And he was covered in a cold sweat. His dream had been mortifying, perhaps more as a product of his brain producing the chemicals that stimulated fear than witnessing something actually terrifying. And while the last thing he had seen was the oncoming wall of indigo he had been pulled into, the last image that stuck in his mind was that of the arm that had grabbed hold of him. It had been a left arm. And it had had a mark on it, but it was not the same mark he had seen on Margot and Sara and Connor. It was distinct. And recalling the pattern in his mind filled him with dread.

 Ch.12 Sympathy

    Josh did not attend his classes that next day. He rationalized that he was paying for them and he could afford to pay not to go to them if he really couldn¡¯t handle doing so. Instead of rest at home, however¡ªas sleeping repulsed him to the point of nausea¡ªJosh spent the time trying to draw what he had seen. Unlike before, when he had seen the marks on Sara and Connor and Margot, he remembered vividly what the ones he had seen in his dream looked like.

    He recalled the spirals that had appeared on his own arm with perfect clarity. And, likewise, he recalled the mark on the other arm just as clearly too, though he wished he couldn¡¯t. Even the crude drawings he had produced of that other mark made him anxious to look at, which he realized was an indication of their accuracy. They were accurate enough to trigger the memories of seeing it.

    Unlike other dreams Josh had experienced, the memories of walking through the city, falling through the void, and then being pulled out of his bubble all stayed with him as clearly as if they had actually happened. If he stayed still too long thinking about what he had seen he could feel himself shaking from the force of his own heartbeat.

    Not long after Josh had woken up in the middle of the night, Kerry had come over and knocked on Josh¡¯s door.

    ¡°Are you doing all right in there?¡± He had asked. He had even jiggled the handle to check if the door was locked in case he needed to come in to offer some kind of emergency assistance.¡±

    Josh had responded weakly, but with enough force to be convincing that, ¡°I¡¯m okay. Just¡­ a horrible dream and¡­ I actually don¡¯t feel that great. I might be sick.¡±

    Kerry had left at that. Offer to buy some soup, but left. He was good about not prying when things seemed private. And Josh considered his dream incredibly private. For hours as he sat and tried to recreate what he had seen he battled in his head as to whether he should tell someone. Maybe Margot, maybe Sara¡­ maybe even Connor. Connor seemed the sort of guy who would be level headed and honest. Not too invested but helpful. But Josh didn¡¯t feel like he knew Connor well enough to trust him with the sort of experience he had just endured. Similarly, telling Margot felt like it might have some sort of repercussions. Perhaps she¡¯d refuse to tell him more, or perhaps the other way around. Maybe knowing he had had a dream like that would make her more absolute, perhaps she would force a mark on Josh whether he liked it or not. Sara seemed the only person he could imagine sharing his experience with, though he couldn¡¯t exactly understand why he trusted her that much. Perhaps it was because she never seemed to have any expectations, she was always just happy to be involved.

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    So, while it went against his better judgement, Josh turned on his phone and texted Sara.

    ¡°Hey, do you have a moment to talk? Or just text?¡±

    Her response was nearly immediate. ¡°Yeah. What¡¯s up?¡±

    Josh felt incredibly stupid typing out his message but now that he had started talking he felt the need to tell her what had happened. It was, strangely, comforting. ¡°I had this dream. And I feel like it actually meant more than just a dream. Is that. Does that happen?¡±

    ¡°Hold on. I want to ask my mom something. I promise I won¡¯t tell her anything about you.¡±

    Josh was filled with dread at the prospect of Sara telling Margot about the dream, or even that he had had a dream and it might mean something related to what they were. And the time between Sara¡¯s text and her next one felt like ages, but it was really probably just a few minutes.

    ¡°I remember my mom telling me that she¡¯d had strange dreams when she¡¯d gotten her mark. I don¡¯t want to share too much in case she gets mad at me. But maybe you could tell me about what happened and I could let you know if you should be worried?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s. It¡¯s long. Okay.¡± Josh was fumbling, still thinking about how he could retract his request to have a listening ear. But he was already this far, and that was enough to keep him going. ¡°Maybe I should type it and send you an email?¡±

    ¡°Okay. That works. My email is -----------------.¡±

    Josh spent the next half hour agonizing over the details of what he¡¯d seen and how it felt. He even considered scanning or taking a picture of what he¡¯d drawn, but something felt wrong about that. Like it was too personal and having a copy on his phone where it could be detected by apps and other software felt invasive. When he had written it all out, it seemed even sillier than it had when it was mostly just in his head. Josh almost didn¡¯t send it to Sara, the thought of what if this is too personal and she gets weirded out, or what if she thinks this is stupid nearly paralyzed him. Never before had he cared so much about what someone he knew so little thought of him.

    ¡°I sent it. Let me know when you get it.¡± the thought that maybe he¡¯d put in her email address wrong terrified Josh. And while he had checked and double checked it, and it was exactly the same as the one she¡¯d sent, it was still nerve wracking. If it went to someone else he didn¡¯t know what he¡¯d do.

    After an agonized few minutes, Sara responded with ¡°Got it. Give me a minute this is long.¡±

    ¡°Holy¡­ Josh. You need to tell Margot about this.¡±

 Ch.13 Confusing Marks

    The thought of having to tell Margot about what had happened petrified Josh. Margot was intimidating in a way that few people were, somewhere in the middle between high school mean girl and drill sergeant¡ªthough she didn¡¯t behave like either. She behaved like a young mom trying to be a cool parent, but somehow that was even worse. And while Josh trusted Sara, more or less, he didn¡¯t trust her insistence to share his dream with her mother.

    ¡°I don¡¯t really feel comfortable with that.¡± Had been Josh¡¯s initial reply.

    Of course, Sara had not relented. ¡°I¡¯m not going to force you, and I won¡¯t tell her myself, but this isn¡¯t the sort of thing you should keep quiet about.¡±

    ¡°There was more too it, it¡¯s not just what happened and what I saw.¡± Josh didn¡¯t want to say too much, but he couldn¡¯t think of a better reason to deny Sara¡¯s advice.

    ¡°I know you felt terrified, but you didn¡¯t explain why.¡± Sara was ready to dig deeper into the problem that Josh had thought, and he couldn¡¯t deny that it felt nice to have someone else try to understand what he was feeling.

    Josh was hesitant to share the detail that bothered him the most over text, but he realized that, short of inviting Sara over in person, there wasn¡¯t exactly any part of this he was really comfortable talking about. ¡°It was the marks mostly. I can still remember what they look like. I haven¡¯t been able to do that before.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°I actually drew them. But I don¡¯t want to take a picture of them.¡±

    ¡°Can I come over and see them myself? I¡¯m curious what would happen if I looked at them.¡±

    ¡°Would anything?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. If they freak you out so much, there might be something to it.¡±

    Though he¡¯d imagined it as possible the only scenario where he might feel comfortable sharing actual images of what he had seen, Josh didn¡¯t want Sara to come over. He was a mess, his space was a mess, and the reality of what he¡¯d experienced¡ªdream or not¡ªstill haunted him. He glanced down at his notebook where he had sketched the marks while he weighed the risks and benefits of letting Sara get as close to him and his problems as she was proposing. The sight of the strangers mark, the one that had been on the shriveled arm from the other bubble in his dream, filled him with dread. But the longer he looked at the mark he had seen before, the spiral, the less bothered by it he was. It was still laced with trauma, but it seemed to be intrinsically, not good. Perhaps neutral. Neutral in a way that the stranger¡¯s mark was not.

    ¡°Fine. But just you.¡±

    After agreeing to have Sara over, and telling her where his apartment was, Josh waited. He kept his eyes alert for any movement in the apartment or even in the hallway outside it. He would recognize the sound of Kerry on his way, his roommate always wore his keys on a clip he attached to his belt loops. The sound of jingling keys was distinct two, since Kerry only kept three on the key chain. And for all his listening, Josh heard nothing.

    He listened so hard and heard nothing that when a knock came at the apartment door he was nearly shocked. He hadn¡¯t heard anyone get close, and he had been hearing footsteps all day. And, of course, as he peered through the peep hole in the door he saw Sara standing nervously outside in the open hallway.

    Sara knocked again before Josh could open the door, but he managed to start on the lock before she stopped knocking. Cut short, Sara backed away and gave a nervous glance around the hallway before Josh opened the door and silently gestured her in.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to get the wrong idea¡­¡± Sara started. ¡°I¡¯m just hear to comfort¡­ no¡­ that¡¯s bad. I¡¯m here to hear the whole thing from you. If that can help you calm down, it¡¯s a win.¡±

    Josh nodded soberly, eager for some reason to have a truly sympathetic ear at his disposal. ¡°Do you mind¡­ coming back into my room? I don¡¯t want to risk Kerry barging in and seeing you here.¡±

    ¡°Does he not like me?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly.¡± Josh scratched the back of his neck nervously, already worried that his roommate would pop in while they were talking just inside the door. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I don¡¯t want to take the drawings out of my room either. And trust me, it¡¯s as awkward to have a girl in my room as it is for you¡ªthe girl¡ªto be in it.¡±

    Sara¡¯s cheeks went flush immediately. She hadn¡¯t actually thought about that insinuation, at least not fully. ¡°Oh. Right. Yeah. Not a big deal.¡±

    It was, however, a big deal to Sara. She had never really been in a real boy¡¯s room. Connor didn¡¯t count in her mind, he was like a younger brother and best friend. Josh was still mostly an unknown factor, still intriguing, still a wild card. And so, pushing hard against her internal hesitations better judgement, Sara followed Josh into his cramped bedroom. Though, it was hardly a bedroom at all. It was more like a big closet that had had a loft bed and study desk crammed in one corner and a plastic three drawer dresser shoved in the other.

    The floor was littered with the odd piece of clothing and notebook, as Josh hadn¡¯t bothered to clean up amid his anxiety. In fact, the mess had gotten much worse since his dream. Loose sheets of partially sketched marks or badly written out accounts of the dream were scattered on the floor where he had thrown them after tearing them out of his notebook. The failure to communicate his experience had only made his stress level higher, but the tearing of the page had been cathartic enough to balance the stress out.

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°I don¡¯t expect you to have the same reaction I did, but here.¡± Josh ambled over to his desk and retrieved the notebook with the drawings page open. ¡°The one of the left is the weird one, the one on the right is what I see on your arm.¡±

    Josh looked down to Sara¡¯s arm as he spoke. Her left arm was fully exposed as Sara was just wearing a t shirt over a tank top. Josh watched the spiral pattern on her arm as she reached out to take the notebook, completely forgetting the panic he had felt that whole day. But only for a moment.

    ¡°What on earth is that¡­¡± Sara sounded dumbstruck, maybe even a little disgusted. ¡°That looks¡­ so wrong. I can¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t explain why either.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s not terrifying exactly. But it looks¡­ twisted? Like a corruption? Maybe that¡¯s a good word¡­¡± Sara was transfixed on the page with the stranger¡¯s mark drawn on it. ¡°Or maybe it¡¯s like the mark is the actual negative space and the skin is the real mark.¡±

    Sara¡¯s final comment made the muscles on the left side of Josh¡¯s face twitch. It felt accurate. Far too accurate for his own comfort. Almost too accurate for her to have come up with just by looking at his sketch. But the only way she would have had any insight into the mark was if she already knew about it, like seeing it was a common thing.

    Rather than beat around the bush, Josh asked her directly. ¡°Have you ever seen that before? Or something like it?¡±

    ¡°No. Not ever.¡± Sara was adamant, and a little put off by the insinuation. ¡°I¡¯ve been able to see my mom¡¯s mark my entire life and it¡¯s always been the same. And when Connor got his, and when I got mine they¡¯re the same. Like an infinite ocean wave made of feathers.¡±

    ¡°Have you ever seen anyone else with a mark?¡± Josh¡¯s skepticism was starting to take over and replace his anxieties¡ªor perhaps they were merging into paranoia.

    ¡°My¡­ aunt. She can¡¯t visit much because it¡¯s hard for her to travel. But she had the same mark.¡±

    ¡°And there¡¯s not different kinds of marks, are there?¡± Josh wasn¡¯t about to let this go. ¡°Because we all see them the same way, what if we all see the same mark the same way and different marks differently than the ones you guys have?¡±

    Sara put the notebook down and turned to Josh with an expression of frustration and concern. ¡°Look. I¡¯m still worried about you, but you¡¯re getting a little weird. I know not being to ask my mom as many questions as you want is tough, but learning about marks and the way the world really works and these other things that you have to deal with now¡­ that takes time. If you don¡¯t slow don¡¯t you¡¯re going to get overwhelmed and you¡¯ll probably have more dreams like this.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± Josh frowned but Sara was right, he was losing his cool. ¡°You¡¯re a really honest person and I shouldn¡¯t take advantage of that. So, thank you, Sara.¡±

    At the sound of her name, Sara seemed to perk up like a dog that had heard the word walk and was about to get exactly what they wanted most. But she quickly hid her joy and refocused to the problem at hand.

    ¡°I still think you should talk to my mom about this. Because I don¡¯t know anything about this other mark, but the fact that you were able to draw this on your own without looking a real mark isn¡¯t normal.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Josh had figured there was some sort of effect that prevented him from being able to recall details about the marks he had seen if he wasn¡¯t looking at them, but it wasn¡¯t a question that had come up or been answered.

    ¡°Well, they look different to everyone because they defy the way we perceive the world. And for someone that can see them but doesn¡¯t have one of their own, it¡¯s even more difficult to linger on. It¡¯s like trying to save an MP3 as a PDF file on a computer.¡±

    Josh¡¯s eyes widened as the analogy finally made the disconnect click into place for him. ¡°That makes so much sense. I can understand that. Why can¡¯t your mom talk like that when she¡¯s explaining things?¡±

    ¡°My mom might look like a teenager, but she¡¯s old.¡± Sara snickered. ¡°That, and she¡¯s not great at talking to people. But that kind of runs in the family.¡±

    After a pause, Sara spoke up again. ¡°But you should still talk to her about this. She might not be great at talking to younger people like us because of it, but she has seniority. My mom and seen and experienced stuff that most people haven¡¯t, even people with marks. And I don¡¯t think what you saw is going to change much of what she plans to do for you.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not going to force a mark on me, is she?¡± Josh had blurted out his worst fear, almost effortlessly. And while it was somewhat embarrassing, it felt calming to admit.

    ¡°Not possible.¡± Sara smile and put a hand gently on her own mark. ¡°Passing on a mark is a fully consensual process. It can¡¯t be forcibly given or taken. And it¡¯s kind of a personal and meaningful thing too, so I don¡¯t think anyone would rush you in that direction. Definitely not if you weren¡¯t interested.¡±

    While that was reassuring, Josh still didn¡¯t feel entirely comfortable talking to Margot. But talking with Sara seemed fine, maybe even comforting, and it made Josh wonder if that would translate over into a conversation with Margot if Sara was part of it.

    ¡°You¡¯re probably right, I should talk to Margot, but would you stay close by when I do?¡± Josh felt embarrassed to ask, but it was the only thing he could think to do. ¡°Not that¡­ you know. I don¡¯t know that much about all this yet, and I¡¯m not sure I really do if dreams like this are going to keep happening or worse, but you know a decent amount and you aren¡¯t your mother. Maybe you could help direct and explain things in a way that doesn¡¯t put me at a disadvantage?¡±

    ¡°You mean you want me to moderate your discussion with my mom?¡±

    ¡°I guess? I just don¡¯t want to agree to anything that might oblige me to things in the future that I can¡¯t know for whatever reason and won¡¯t be comfortable with.¡±

    ¡°No. That makes sense. Like having a lawyer.¡± Sara chuckled.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just funny because you want to be a lawyer.¡±

    ¡°I guess that¡¯s ironic, but I¡¯d be stupid not to consult an expert that understands where I¡¯m at.¡± Josh laughed quietly at the irony, but tried to stay as serious as he could. ¡°When should I come over to talk to her?¡±

    ¡°Just come over tomorrow after classes. You were already going to anyway, right? But just get there early so you get some time in before self-defense practice.¡± Sara moved towards the door as if she was suddenly eager to leave. ¡°Unless you don¡¯t want to start that just yet.¡±

    ¡°No, self-defense practice is fine.¡± Josh nodded. He had almost forgotten about agreeing to learn and then forgotten what day it was amid his anxiety. ¡°Just. Just don¡¯t tell anyone about this yet. Okay?¡±

    ¡°Only if you never tell my mom, on pain of death, that I¡¯ve been in your room.¡±

    The request caught Josh off guard. It made sense given how protective Margot seemed to be of her daughter, but Sara was an adult. She was autonomous. She could go where she pleased. But there might have been other agreements that she had made with her mother about spending time with boys.

    Josh shook off his confusion and agreed immediately. ¡°Done.¡±

    ¡°Then my lips are sealed.¡± Sara pressed her lips together and made a zipping motion over them. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow.¡±

    Without any other questions or answers, Sara made her way out of the apartment with Josh at her heels to courteously show her out. He also wanted to be sure he couldn¡¯t hear Kerry coming. If his roommate saw Sara in the building he would start making guesses and would get it right eventually. After Sara left, Josh kept his ear to the door and listened. He didn¡¯t hear Sara walk away, and he didn¡¯t hear Kerry. He found himself in much the same position he had been in when he was waiting for Sara to arrive. It was almost as if she hadn¡¯t shown up at all.

 Ch.14 Confusing Interactions

    Wednesday morning during the astrology lecture, Josh couldn¡¯t help but be distracted by Sara sitting a few rows down from him. He could see the back of her head and occasionally the mark on her arm. Sara, conversely, wasn¡¯t entirely sure what Josh was thinking though she had caught him looking at her twice. It made it difficult for either of them to focus on the lecture and they ended up missing most of it.

    After losing sight of Sara proved to be even more distracting. Josh couldn¡¯t focus at all during either of his other two classes that day. His professors noticed too. After both classes they had requested that he stay behind for a minute. They had each asked him, in their own way and with their own words, if there was anything that he needed help with or if there was anything in another class that was taking up more of his time than normal. Both times, Josh had lied. He had given the excuse that he¡¯d been under the weather and hadn¡¯t had the chance to catch up yet. Neither professor had caught his lie, which was unusual, and both wished him well.

    As soon as his third class ended and his professor had been satisfied that he wasn¡¯t in any trouble, Josh made a break for his apartment. Ever since he had left it that morning he had been on edge. Against his better judgement, he had left the notebook with his depictions of the marks behind in his room. The thought of Kerry or anyone else coming across them had been in his head all day. If just seeing his shoddy renderings was enough to convey the dread he had felt in his dream to Sara, there was a chance that seeing either mark could effect someone who was otherwise normal. He might end up spoiling someone else¡¯ life in the same way he had spoiled his own by eaves dropping.

    Josh spent maybe two minutes at home. He ditched his backpack, thought better of it and shoved the notebook into his pack, used the bathroom, and then headed right back out. He grabbed something to eat from a vending machine on campus rather than make something at home. He refilled his water bottle from a fountain as well, rather than at the sink in his apartment. And rather than head directly to Sara and Connor¡¯s apartment, Josh made a roundabout path across the opposite side of campus before ducking into a subway tunnel and then back out without boarding anything.

    It wasn¡¯t just the possibility of Kerry following him that had Josh worried, it was the possibility of anyone following him. Anyone could have noticed his strange behavior. Any class mate, teacher, janitor, or teaching assistant. And so he had opted to act even more strangely in order to lose the watchful gaze of the world around him.

    No one was following him, of course. No one had even realized that anything was wrong with him. It was a tragedy of sorts that, though he knew he was relatively unattached to other people, Josh was a loner. Tragic because there wasn¡¯t anyone that would notice his strange behavior, except perhaps Kerry; and Josh was making a special effort not to interact with Kerry. At least for the time being.

    When Josh reached the Benedictine, the lobby was silent; as it always seemed to be. Josh was beginning to wonder if anyone else actually lived in the building or not. He had only ever seen employees there, and never any other tenants or plain clothes individuals. As he stood waiting for the elevator, something unpleasant dawned on him. There was a sense of finality in what he was doing. He would walk into the penthouse, explain his dreams to Margot, get her advice, and then learn from her. He had tried to make the arrangement with her easily navigable; but, the more interaction he had with Sara and Connor and Margot, the more he realized that he was only digging himself in deeper with them. There would be no turning back after a certain point and he couldn¡¯t see if that point had already passed or if it was still ahead of him. Josh wasn¡¯t even sure he¡¯ be able to see it, whether it be before or behind him.

    The elevator doors had dinged to let Josh know that the car was ready to take him up, but he had already wandered away. He wasn¡¯t going to leave, but he needed time to think and that time seemed like it would be best found in the stairwell. But by the twentieth floor Josh felt that there wasn¡¯t much more to think over and that if he didn¡¯t sit for at least half an hour he wouldn¡¯t be able to stand when self-defense training started. And really, it was the thought of learning how to defend himself better that calmed Josh down. He had been paranoid for the majority of his walk to the building, and most of the steps up the stairs had been underpinned by fear of someone following him and learning that he was associating himself with the people he had promised he wouldn¡¯t.

    It didn¡¯t take the full flight of stairs to the penthouse for Josh to get his head on straight. Only the first thirty floors. Which was an accomplishment by his standards. He hadn¡¯t been going particularly fast, but it was still more stairs that he had probably ever climbed. But after thirty floors, he took the elevator. First down to the lobby, then the elevator that went to the penthouse and the several larger apartments below it. By the time that Josh knocked on the penthouse door, his mind was completely clear. He wasn¡¯t entirely sure where his course of actions would take him, but he was comfortable making the decisions he would have to make one way or the other.

    ¡°That¡¯s Josh!¡± Sara voice was muffled behind the door of the apartment, but perhaps more so than if she was right in the living room.

    ¡°He¡¯s early.¡± Josh heard Connor should back from somewhere closer to the door.

    ¡°Yeah, get the door!¡±

    A moment later the apartment door creaked open and Connor peaked out cautiously. Upon seeing Josh, the door was opened wider and Connor nodded Josh in.

    Connor was well into the living room and slumped down on the couch by the time Josh had walked in and removed his shoes. ¡°Make yourself comfortable, Sara¡¯s just getting out of the shower.¡±

    As if on cue, Josh heard a hairdryer turn on and create an odd humming ambient noise that echoed throughout the apartment.

    ¡°What are you reading?¡± Josh asked casually as he found his way to an armchair across the living room from Connor.

    ¡°I am reading¡±¡ªConnor flipped up a stack of papers from his lap like an old man reading a newspaper¡ª¡±a graduate thesis on a potential method of reversing pancreatic damage to people suffering from type one diabetes by altering the mitosis stage that the cells in their pancreas undergo. It¡¯s like the opposite of a stem cell answer to diabetes. They take your own cells in small batches, alter them, and then attempt to implant them back in and hope they take over and produce insulin.¡±

    Josh didn¡¯t really know how to react to the explanation. Connor always seemed far too relaxed to have serious interests, but that was probably the most serious response Josh had ever heard in response to such an innocent question.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡±

    ¡°Really dull, right?¡± Connor chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m not even diabetic, thank goodness¡±¡ªConnor leaned over to the table in the middle of the room and gave it a solid two knocks¡ª¡±but out of the box medical solutions fascinate me. I mean, this probably isn¡¯t going to go anywhere, but it has implications.¡±

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°Yeah, that sounds dull.¡± Josh shrugged. He might as well go with it. ¡°So you¡¯re not diabetic?¡±

    ¡°No. But I have allergies. Not that the word allergy does it justice.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s not weird to talk about?¡±

    ¡°Eh. I¡¯ve had to deal with it for twenty-ish years, I make my own food, and my friends know what¡¯s up. I¡¯m adjusted. Just don¡¯t pity me.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough.¡±

    All this time, Josh was taking a closer look at Connor. He hadn¡¯t paid much attention to Sara¡¯s roommate because he was usually so quiet and direct. It was normally like being in the room with a piece of furniture that had googly eyes glued to it. And while Connor wasn¡¯t exactly opening up, Josh had an actual reason to look in his direction. His hair was a dark mess that dangled just below his ears, his clothes were cheap and basic, and his frame looked far more solid than Josh remembered from when he had helped them move in. Maybe it had something to do with Connor only wearing basketball shorts and a tank top now, leaving his shoulders and legs largely exposed.

    ¡°Is Margot not here yet?¡± Josh had looked away from Connor to clear his head and realized that the apartment was mostly empty except for them.

    Connor looked up from his reading with a look of casual surprise. ¡°Oh. Weird. She isn¡¯t. I guess she¡¯ll show up soon.¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t let you know when she¡¯s coming over?¡±

    ¡°Margot doesn¡¯t have a phone dude. She just comes and goes. Getting her to be in the same place at the same time on a regular basis is nearly impossible.¡±

    For a moment Josh felt bad about requesting a weekly meeting with her, but then it dawned on him how outlandish it was. Not having a phone on its own was strange, but having a pattern of just showing up and leaving at odd intervals was bizarre.

    Connor caught on to the bewilderment on Josh¡¯s face and chuckled. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t freak out about it so much. She¡¯s reliable, even if she tries not to be. Staying off the gird is just her defense mechanism.¡±

    ¡°Riiight¡­¡± Josh let out a deep breath as he uttered the word.

    ¡°But really, shes trying to help you. You can¡¯t see it very well because you haven¡¯t seen how she treats strangers, but you¡¯re getting the royal treatment.¡±

    ¡°Why would I be getting special treatment?¡±

    ¡°Because Sara likes you, and trusts you. Because I like you and trust you not to do anything stupid. And probably because you tried to keep pace with her. There¡¯s a respect for that.¡± Connor smiled as he spoke.

    There was something about the way Connor said ¡®I like you¡¯ confused Josh. It was said with such confidence with so little to back it up. There wasn¡¯t any reason he would have a strong enough opinion of Josh, and yet he did. Worse still, it was so casual.

    Unbeknownst to either Connor or Josh, Sara had quietly made her way out of the bathroom and was leaning on the doorway that opened into the main space of the apartment. ¡°Connor, are you flirting?¡±

    Josh went wide eyed and red faced. Connor did not.

    ¡°Nope.¡± Was his simple reply, and Connor went back to reading.

    Rather than look at Connor, out of unexpected embarrassment, Josh looked to Sara. Doing so was a worse idea. Sara was standing in the doorway in what appeared to be just a towel. If Josh¡¯s face could have gotten redder, it did. It was even worse for the split second between when Sara dropped the towel from around her and when Josh realized that she was mostly clothed underneath. Mostly. Short shorts and a baggy tank top certainly wasn¡¯t the most conservative ensemble. It definitely wasn¡¯t what Josh was expecting in either sense.

    ¡°That¡¯s mean, Sara.¡± Connor chided his roommate as he glanced up at her.

    Josh nodded in agreement as he tried to collect himself again. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ that¡¯s. Yes. I don¡¯t know how comfortable I am with that kind of practical joke.¡±

    Sara registered a faint blush. ¡°Sorry. I wasn¡¯t thinking too hard about it. I know you¡¯ve had a rough time, I was just trying to lighten the¡­¡±

    Sara was cut off in her explanation, and she was grateful for it. She didn¡¯t enjoy admitting that she had just made something of a fool of herself. So when her mother started unlock the door and enter into the apartment, it was a welcome reprieve. Everyone relaxed slightly as Margot made her presence known.

    ¡°I feel like I just walked in on something.¡± Margot narrowed her eyes first at Josh, who shrank back, then at Connor, who had no reaction whatsoever, and then at Sara. ¡°We¡¯ll talk later, sweat pea. But for now, you¡¯re here early, Josh.¡±

    ¡°Right, sorry.¡± Josh was still stammering. He had thought he would be calm and collected, he thought he had mentally prepared himself for this, but he hadn¡¯t been able to prepare himself for a single thing. ¡°Something happened, and I asked Sara about it and she said I should talk to you.¡±

    Margot seemed to shift into a much more serious stance, her eyes taking in the people around her in a whole new light.¡±Is this a private conversation or an all of us conversation?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ mostly private?¡± Josh looked to Sara for help but only got an encouraging nod. ¡°Not Connor. No offense.¡±

    ¡°Hey, none taken.¡± Connor replied coolly from the couch.

    ¡°And somewhere less¡­ open?¡± Josh was floundering, he didn¡¯t want to show the things he¡¯d drawn where just anyone that came into the apartment could see them. ¡°Like an office or bedroom¡­¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a third bedroom that¡¯s mostly empty.¡± Sara tilted her head back to the more closed off portion of the apartment behind her.

    Margot nodded, and made her way past Sara without a word. Her boots echoed loudly with each step she took on the hard wood flooring. As soon as she was out of eyesight the three remaining in the living room all shared a look, a silent exchange of ¡®good luck¡¯ and a response of ¡®we¡¯ll need it.¡¯ Without much else to convey, Josh followed Sara back down the hallway behind her and to the second door on the left.

    The third bedroom was almost completely empty. It was furnished with a bed and with a simple wooden armchair. It made the room feel out of place compared to the rest of the penthouse. Margot was sitting on the side of the bed, and Sara joined her on the other side. Josh defaulted to the armchair and regretted it immediately as he realized the height difference between the chair and the bed.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Margot¡¯s voice was cautious.

    Josh took a deep breath and collected himself as quickly as he could before he launched into his story. ¡°I had a dream that I don¡¯t think was normal.¡±

    The more Josh conveyed about his dream, the more still Margot became. It was almost as if she had stopped breathing after a certain point. And when Josh reached the end of his recollection of the dream Margot stopped him with a sudden hand gesture.

    ¡°Show me the marks. Both of them.¡± Her commanding voice wasn¡¯t new or unexpected, but it still put Josh on edge. ¡°You brought them, yes?¡±

    Josh produced the notebook and stood to hold it out to her. ¡°I did. And like I said. I drew them from memory. Including the one I can see on your arm right now. I drew it without looking at one.¡±

    Rather than comment on what Josh was saying, Margot took a moment to analyze the drawings. Her silence was nerve wracking. She didn¡¯t respond at all. When she was done she handed the notebook back and gave Sara a look that Josh didn¡¯t quite understand.

    ¡°It¡¯s strange¡­ right?¡± Josh was desperately hoping he hadn¡¯t made a fool of himself and made a bigger deal out of a dream than it was.

    Margot turned her gaze to Josh, and, rather than exchange a cryptic look, addressed him in gentle words. ¡°That is strange. Not the strangest thing I¡¯ve heard of happening, but not anything I¡¯ve heard of happening either. And I can guess at what you experienced, but I don¡¯t have any easy answers for you.¡±

    ¡°Could you get close? I feel like I¡¯m going crazy. If this is the sort of thing that happens when someone that can see marks gets too close¡­¡±

    ¡°No. That¡¯s unlikely.¡± Margot interrupted. ¡°It could be related to marks, but I highly doubt this is some sort of exposure response. If anything, it probably has to do with your fate. It could be your future, it could be your past. It could be an echo from another life, or a million other things. But I can almost assuredly tell you that it isn¡¯t because you¡¯ve been startled into seeing marks. At least not entirely.¡±

    ¡°Do you think this means he needs to go a little faster?¡± Sara asked.

    Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure what Sara meant by ¡®go faster¡¯ but he assumed she was using phrasing that left him in the dark. If she was really willing to help him in the way that he¡¯d asked, that would be part of it.

    ¡°That¡¯s entirely up to him¡±¡ªMargot paused to let out a long held breath¡ª¡±not us. But I think, I want to be sure before I suggest changing anything.¡±

    ¡°Be sure of what?¡± Josh was getting the feeling that things were going to get more complicated.

    With a simultaneously mischievous and sad look on her face, Margot turned to Josh. ¡°I need to run a test of sorts.¡±

 Ch.15 Painful Test

    ¡°Let me see your arm.¡±

    Margot¡¯s command was met with immediate rejection from Josh. It was as if his worst fears about opening up to the woman had been realized. Even Sara gave her mother a wide eyed look of confusion and frustration.

    Margot tsk¡¯d her daughter and then turned to Josh. ¡°Nothing will happen. At least nothing should happen. If anything does, it was going to happen no matter what.¡±

    ¡°Is that supposed to be comforting?¡± Josh asked in alarm. ¡°You¡¯re not even going to tell me what you¡¯re going to do, but that something might happen¡­ There¡¯s no way I¡¯d just let you do whatever you want!¡±

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m not good at being gentle or forthcoming, cut me some slack. I¡¯m trying to keep information as reversible as possible.¡± Margot ran her fingers through her short dark hair in distress. ¡°The test is, if I touch my mark to your arm¡­ in the place where you would have a mark, if you had a mark¡­ and some sort of mark showed up¡­ temporarily. I¡¯d be able to learn a lot more about what happened to you.¡±

    ¡°And you won¡¯t pass your mark on?¡± Josh raised an eyebrow. The honestly, despite the further creeping entrenchment of information that would forever change him, was refreshing and lowered his guard.

    ¡°It can¡¯t be passed on without two consenting parties.¡± Margot repeated what Sara had told Josh the day before.

    Josh believed both of them, at least he nodded slightly in agreement, but there was still an uncertainty about the proximity. The idea of actually touching one of their marks felt incredibly personal in a way that he was not comfortable with. At least not with Margot. Margot was older, more mature, had an air of authority, and she didn¡¯t seem¡­ Josh didn¡¯t quite know how to phrase his distrust. It wasn¡¯t that she was an adult. Josh considered himself an adult. It was more that she wasn¡¯t a peer. She wasn¡¯t someone he felt comfortable connection with. But Sara, Josh thought they could both be somewhat comfortable with that.

    ¡°I¡¯d prefer it if Sara did the test then, if you don¡¯t mind.¡±

    Sara¡¯s eyes lit up and her face looked genuinely warm. Margot¡¯s face also softened at the trust she saw placed in her daughter. But that look of uncertainty and apology was not gone.

    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡± Sara sounded hopeful, but her hopes died out as she looked to her mother.

    ¡°I don¡¯t mind either, but it won¡¯t work. Sara¡¯s mark¡­¡± Margot growled quietly to herself. ¡°Her mark isn¡¯t in an active state. She can¡¯t do anything with it. And Connor¡¯s the same.¡±

    There was a quiet stare down as all three ran through more or less the same train of thoughts. Josh and Margot had hardly spent any time around each other, and what little they had was spent with Margot asserting her authority to compensate for her youthful appearance. They had a certain respect for each other, but it was the sort of respect that teenagers had with their friends parents; distant and based on fleeting interactions and basic appearance. And while they all lingered on that seemingly insurmountable lack of trust that existed, Sara offered the only real suggestion she could.

    ¡°Would it help if I¡ªand please don¡¯t take this the wrong way¡ªheld your hand?¡± Sara was blushing slightly but her face was serious. ¡°Just so I can be close and pull your arm away if something starts to happen.¡±

    Margot looked from Sara to Josh as she assessed what sort of relationship was growing between them. She certainly hadn¡¯t anticipate her daughter being so ready to offer help in such a personal way. She knew that Sara wasn¡¯t reserved, but she wasn¡¯t cavalier about personal interactions either. But right then, as she looked at the kindness that existed between her daughter and this boy she hardly knew, Margot realized that she needed to trust her daughter. And if Josh could trust Sara, he could trust her mother by extension.

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have much time to react, but you could try.¡± Margot offered.

    Josh, who had been very uncomfortable up to that point, relaxed at Sara¡¯s offer. ¡°I think I could be okay with that. But I reserve the right to stop this at any time I feel like.¡±

    There was a general nod from all three as they didn¡¯t find anything wrong with that arrangement. Margot held out her hand to take Josh¡¯s arm and Sara gripped his left hand with hers, interlocking their grip around each others thumbs as though getting ready to squeeze to alleviate pain. Neither of them expected pain to be a possible reaction based on Margot¡¯s explanation, but Josh still clenched his jaw as Margot grabbed hold of his arm with her right hand and brought her left arm over it. The tendons in Josh¡¯s forearm were starting to twitch and tighten, not abnormally, but uncomfortably; the movement was visible on his forearm, just below the skin.

    Before she pressed her forearm down, Margot looked carefully into Josh¡¯s eyes. She looked for regret, for second thoughts, for fear. But she didn¡¯t see them. She saw determination, a set to the brow that accompanied a clenched jaw, and she saw frustration. Margot wasn¡¯t entirely sure herself what would happen when she lowered her arm down to his, just as she wasn¡¯t sure why she saw any of the things she did on Josh¡¯s face.

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    The movement of her arm was slow. Excruciatingly slow in Josh¡¯s mind. But when it finally touched his skin, it felt like a white hot iron. Sara didn¡¯t have the speed to pull away Josh¡¯s arm. By the time she felt it tense at the feeling and she saw the light radiate off the connection, Josh had already ripped his arm free and taken a step back.

    ¡°What the hell did you do to me?!¡±

    Looking just as surprised as Josh, Margot raised her hands in defense. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen that happen before! I don¡¯t even know what happened!¡±

    ¡°Josh, try it on mine.¡± Sara held out her arm arm with the wrist up. ¡°I want to see if it¡¯s just Margot¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Are you crazy? That hurt like hell, there¡¯s no way I¡¯m doing that again. I need¡±¡ªJosh paused mid motion as he rubbed his arm where the mark had touched it¡ª¡±what?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Margot was trying to creep close off the edge of the bed, but Josh took another step away.

    ¡°It¡¯s not burning.¡± Josh muttered. ¡°And there¡¯s something wrong with the skin.¡±

    Josh held out his arm in confusion, unable to completely process what had happened. His skin had lightened. Not just in the way that skin lightens over time when not exposed to sunlight. It looked like a splotch of someone else¡¯s skin had been grown on Josh¡¯s arm like a bacterial culture. If it was anything other than a paler skin tone, it might have looked like a rash.

    But stranger than the skin tone blotch, was the dark smudge on top of it. It looked like someone had written something on a piece of paper with a paint marker and then pressed it against his arm. It was a fuzzy relief of the mark on Margot¡¯s arm. Not a mark of his own, but a mirror of it; it was dark where the mark was light and light where the mark was dark. And it looked as if it had been made with a bleeding ink as well, further messing up the appearance and distorting what it was. For all the pain that it had caused, the deformation was only about four inches long and two inches wide, but it was still obvious what it was. And as all three looked at Josh¡¯s arm, they watched the deformation fade slowly. At the rate it was going it would be nearly half an hour before it was gone completely, but it was visibly fading.

    ¡°What does that mean?¡± Josh finally made eye contact with Margot as his curiosity overcame his fear. ¡°That was what you thought would happen, right?¡±

    ¡°I thought it was a possibility, but I didn¡¯t know what was going to happen.¡± Margot took a deep breath as she continued to process what they had all just seen. ¡°I honestly hoped nothing would happen.¡±

    ¡°Okay, but what does it mean? What did the test prove?¡± The mild frustration that Josh had been experiencing since he arrived was growing into anger.

    Sara looked to her mother as well, not with anger or frustration, but concern. She was just as lost as Josh was, which shocked her. She had spent her whole life learning about her mother and the marks and what they meant. But this was new. This was unheard of. It was legitimately strange. Strange to a strange person.

    ¡°It means,¡± Margot let out another sigh, she was struggling to find the right words. ¡°It means that you can¡¯t avoid the mark. It doesn¡¯t matter that you don¡¯t know really anything about them, or that you don¡¯t want one. At some point, you are are going to receive one. It¡¯s inevitable. It¡¯s fated to happen.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean fated?¡± Josh groaned as he reeled back and began to pace the room. ¡°Where¡¯s the consent in that? If I can¡¯t avoid it why is it supposed to be a choice?¡±

    ¡°Fate sometimes cheats.¡± Margot shrugged weakly.

    ¡°Or, maybe¡­¡± Sara began tentatively. She wouldn¡¯t have stopped if Josh hadn¡¯t turned suddenly to her and urged her on with his eyes. ¡°Maybe, it¡¯s something you¡¯ve already said yes to and just haven¡¯t realized it yet. Marks aren¡¯t bound by the same perception as us. They are part of a force that can see your future, so maybe you just haven¡¯t said yes out loud yet but there¡¯s no way you won¡¯t.¡±

    Josh almost laughed, it was the silliest thing he¡¯d ever heard. He couldn¡¯t fully wrap his mind around it but it was absurd. ¡°You¡¯re kidding me right? If it can see into the future and know I¡¯ll ask for a mark, then how does me knowing that know mean I¡¯ll still want one later? It¡¯s a paradox.¡±

    ¡°Not exactly.¡± Margot hummed. ¡°Witnessing the future can alter it, but some things happen no matter what. Mostly things that depend on who a person is at their core. If someone is the type of person to make a certain choice, even if they know it might kill them, they will still make that choice.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and I suppose you¡¯ve seen the future before? That¡¯s how you know about this. Does your mark let you do that too?¡± Josh sneered. ¡°Or is it just super strength.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t personally seen the future unravel. But there are people who can see and have seen possible futures.¡± Margot wasn¡¯t at all concerned with the tone Josh was taking. She saw it as a natural reaction. ¡°But I know that time is fluid. People aren¡¯t though.¡±

    ¡°You sound so crazy right now.¡± Josh shook his head. He was about to leave when Sara piped up once again.

    ¡°You saw for yourself . It¡¯s crazy but it¡¯s real.¡± Sara stood and grabbed Josh by the shoulders. ¡°And I¡¯m not going to lie to you. This is real. It¡¯s real, and it¡¯s serious.¡±

    ¡°I know¡­¡± Josh let out a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ this is terrifying.¡±

    ¡°Let us help.¡± Sara continued. ¡°We can tell you anything you want to know, we¡¯ll show you how to stay safe. You could even move in here if that helped. But I don¡¯t think you want that.¡±

    ¡°I think, I just need to sit down for a bit.¡± Josh muttered as he gently lifted Sara¡¯s hands off his shoulders and sat back down in the arm chair. ¡°This is a lot.¡±

    Margot stood up and spoke with a bowed head. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to thin that I¡¯m trying to force you into this. But I think you¡¯re probably stuck. And I want to help you get un-stuck if I can. I¡¯m going to go talk to some people about what just happened. I know someone who had an experience similar to yours, they should be able to help.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Josh muttered. ¡°I guess that means no self-defense practice.¡±¡¯

    ¡°Oh, I think we crossed that line a while ago.¡± Sara chuckled weakly. ¡°I think today calls for greasy takeout and a nap.¡±

 Ch.16 Dangerous Level of Comfort

    ¡°Egg roll.¡± Sara demanded.

    Josh reached over to pick up the brown paper bag with the eggs rolls and held it out to Sara. They were both laying down on the floor in the middle of the apartment, about a foot apart and facing the opposite direction. Josh had a brown paper bag with egg rolls and a white takeout box with chicken teriyaki. Sara had a tall container of beef pho soup and a tray of California rolls. Sara was dipping everything in the soup, which wasn¡¯t so strange with the egg rolls, but the sushi made Josh a little unsettled; at least, before he¡¯d tried it and realized that the addition of salty broth to the mixed texture of the sushi was actually pretty good. The beef savoriness was still strange, but it felt nice in his stomach.

    ¡°Rice cracker!¡± Sara announced as she unwrapped a rice cracker and threw it at Connor.

    Connor had moved the couch back into the no mans land of the apartment so that he could watch TV and still keep an eye on his roommate and Josh. As the cracker was thrown in Connor¡¯s direction, he bent his head to the side and tried to catch it in his mouth but missed. The cracker hit his chin and fell down his shirt.

    ¡°Why do you throw them so low?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m laying down on the floor, I have a low starting angle.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Put some muscle into the next one.¡± Connor chuckled as he fished the cracker out from his tank top and dropped it into his mouth like a cartoon cat savoring a fresh fish. ¡°Ah, processed food my beloved.¡±

    ¡°Is that really the only processed food you can eat?¡± Josh was still impressed Connor could eat it at all considering how many things he had listed that he couldn¡¯t.

    ¡°Only thing I¡¯ve found.¡± Connor paused as Sara gave him a silly look. ¡°Well, besides this one kind of prepackaged trail mix I found at a whole food store, but it tasted like baby wipes.¡±

    The evening continued like that. They ate takeout and told dumb stories that didn¡¯t matter. And when the takeout was gone, Sara pulled out some ice cream. And when the ice cream was gone, and Connor had decided to wander off to bed, Sara discretely pulled Josh over to the kitchen and let him know where they kept their booze.

    ¡°This is Vodka, that¡¯s rum, and that¡¯s basically ethanol.¡± Sara pointed a finger to each bottle as she listed them off, the last bottle was an unlabeled glass gallon jug. ¡°It¡¯s Connor¡¯s. He won it, or so he says, from his shifty uncle in a card game. He puts it on fruit when he wants to get wasted¡­ and that¡¯s only happened once in the entire time I¡¯ve known him. He doesn¡¯t really drink. I don¡¯t drink much either, but that¡¯s because I don¡¯t have a reason to. But if you need to empty your head completely, you are welcome to what we¡¯ve got.¡±

    ¡°Thank you¡­¡± Josh seriously considered it.

    He didn¡¯t drink much either, mostly because it made him sad and then he passed out, but it was tempting. Not the sad part, but the passing out part. After the night before, when he¡¯d had his dream, he hadn¡¯t properly been able to sleep. More truthfully, he hadn¡¯t let himself sleep. He¡¯d gone out and bought a pack of energy drinks and chugged them through the night to prevent himself from closing his eyes. The very thought of dreaming, even a good dream, felt sickening. But the thought of making a fool of himself for that short time between sober and passed out felt just ever so worse.

    ¡°I think I¡¯ll pass.¡± Josh closed the kitchen cupboard himself with nearly flat, vacant smile. ¡°But¡­ I do have a slightly embarrassing request to make.¡±

    Sara shrugged and smiled. ¡°If I can help I will. It would have to be pretty bad for me not to.¡±

    ¡°Can I crash on your couch?¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ but we have a spare bed too. You could crash there.¡±

    ¡°No. I mean, I¡¯m sure it¡¯s fine, but after what happened to my arm in the spare bedroom, I kinda want to avoid it if I can.¡±

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    ¡°I¡¯ll grab you a blanket then.¡± Sara was about to leave when she turned on her heal with a frown. ¡°Actually, I have a condition. You can only crash on the couch if you tell your roommate where you are.¡±

    Josh was taken aback by the sudden change in attitude. ¡°Why?¡±

    It didn¡¯t quite make sense to him that Sara wanted him to let Kerry know. It was probably a good idea, but it didn¡¯t sound like something Sara would suggest.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been acting weird and I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea to let him worry about you being passed out in a itch somewhere.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll probably be more upset to learn that I¡¯m spending the night here. But I¡¯ll tell him.¡±

    Mid way through typing up a text to Kerry, Josh had a better idea than the full truth and began to type up a half lie. ¡°Hey, Kerry, I¡¯m gonna spend the night at Sara¡¯s. I¡¯m too drunk to walk home.¡±

    Josh spent another minute making the spelling look bad so it would feel like he actually was drunk; which may not have been very convincing. Josh tended to text pretty well even while drunk, though mostly because he had such a low tolerance that by the time he would have been noticeably impaired he was unconscious.

    ¡°There. Is that good enough?¡± Josh held up his phone with the sent text.

    Sara frowned at the lie, but shrugged. ¡°Sure. I¡¯ rather you not drag me into a lie I might have to remember, but sure.¡±

    ¡°Right. Sorry.¡±

    ¡°You get one.¡± Sara smiled and held up one finger over her shoulder as she walked off to get a blanket.

    It was well past midnight by that point. There was no reply on Kerry¡¯s end when Josh finally went to sleep. And he slept well, or at least without dreams. He was unsure of why he slept well so well. Nothing had really changed, he was still terrified of what could be lurking out in the world now that he realized there could be things that lurk. After his experience with Margot¡¯s test, that hadn¡¯t exactly gotten any better¡ªit had gotten worse. And the dream he had had before, of falling through the void, still haunted him as he had closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep. But when he woke up, nothing had changed.

    He was stable.

    Nothing had gotten better, but nothing had gotten worse either. And it definitely wasn¡¯t the couch. It was a nice wide couch but it was still a couch and not a bed. Maybe it was the extra, old and somewhat musty, blanket that appeared while had was asleep. Maybe it was the smell of sausage, egg, and hash browns waiting for him when his nose heard the message that consciousness was imminent. Or, maybe, it was something else.

    ¡°Look who¡¯s up.¡± Sara¡¯s voice rang out like a chime from the kitchen.

    She was siting at the island on her usual bar stool watching Connor make breakfast. Connor was at the stove, apron on, tending to everything that smelled good in the apartment.

    ¡°Thank goodness, I can be as loud as I want now.¡± Connor shouted. ¡°Get something to eat, or go home hungry.¡±

    As Josh stood up from the couch he realized that he¡¯d slept in the clothes he worse the day before. He didn¡¯t have anything else to wear, of course, but he was starting to stink. ¡°What time is it?¡±

    ¡°It is¡±¡ªConnor leaned to the side to check the clock on the oven¡ª¡±9:38 am. You slept in a bit, but so did we.¡±

    ¡°Well, I guess I¡¯m not going to class today.¡± Josh groaned as he sat down next to Sara. ¡°I might as well skip all of them if I¡¯m going to miss the first one.¡±

    Sara cocked an eyebrow at Josh as he grumbled, but didn¡¯t comment. It was clear she wanted to say something, but was holding her tongue for some reason. Most likely, she didn¡¯t want to disturb the peaceful atmosphere of a late morning breakfast.

    Connor dished up three very full plates of hot food and tossed a bag of shredded cheese to the other side of the island for Sara and Josh. Sara also rustled through the fridge for a bottle of ketchup, but Josh thought better of using it. The cheese though, Sara and Josh both piled their meals high with cheese and let it melt while the food cooled to a more edible temperature. And when it was cooled and the cheese was gooey and soft, they ate.

    There was no talking in the kitchen for several minutes. The only sound was the rustling of utensils on plates as they ate. Talking would have ruined it. It was hearty and filling and delicious. Connor might not have been able to eat much, but he had mastered making the food he could eat taste good.

    After most of the food had been eaten, and they all reclined in their chairs with full stomachs, Josh began to ponder what his next move should be. ¡°I need to go home¡­ probably. I need a shower, and fresh clothes, and I need to catch up on the classes I¡¯m missing.¡±

    ¡°You probably should.¡± Sara nodded in sober agreement. ¡°But you can stay here as long as you need. My first class is at eleven, Connor mostly has online classes this semester, and I doubt you¡¯d steal anything. And if you did, I know where you live and what scares you most.¡±

    For a moment, that last part made Josh cock his head to the side in confused surprise. After the playfulness in her voice clicked it was fine, but for that moment, Josh realized exactly how dangerous Sara and Connor could be. They knew a decent amount about him¡ªthough he now knew a fair amount about them¡ªthey knew where he lived, and they knew where he lived. He could move, but something told him that the trail he had already left would be enough for them to follow anywhere he went. And while that paranoia wanted to eat away at him, there wasn¡¯t much to eat. They wouldn¡¯t hurt him. And if they did, he¡¯d accept it as a fair misjudgment on his part. He felt safe.

 Ch.17 Dangerous Patterns

    After Josh had left the Benedictine, there had been an odd calm in the penthouse apartment. An uneasy calm, like a cavernous echo. Connor had defaulted to the couch and Sara had gone to the window seat in the study area, both gave each other vacant wandering looks as though they had been planning on doing something fun but their plans had been canceled. They weren¡¯t bored, per se, they had plenty to do, but they were unfulfilled. Sara and Connor had experienced, for perhaps the first time in their lives, a taste of real fulfillment and purpose. Not because they had led uneventful or meaningless lives, but because something about fostering a friendship with Josh met a deep rooted and not altogether natural need within them.

    ¡°You feel that right?¡± Connor turned to his roommate with a mildly confused expression on his face.

    ¡°Yeah. It feels like¡­¡± Sara trailed off, unable to properly define what she was feeling.

    Connor picked up where she had trailed off, ¡°lighter. Like you¡¯re floating in water?¡±

    ¡°Yes. That. You feel it too?¡±

    ¡°Uh huh¡­ Margot¡¯s never mentioned that feeling before, but she has to have felt it. Right? That¡¯s gotta be normal for marked people. It would be weird if it wasn¡¯t at this point.¡±

    Sara lifted herself up onto the kitchen counter to sit next to where Connor was standing as they both looked at the apartment door. ¡°I don¡¯t know. She seems confused about Josh. Like he shouldn¡¯t be able to do the things he is.¡±

    ¡°Has he done anything else than see marks?¡±

    Connor hadn¡¯t been clued in on the dreams. And while Sara didn¡¯t see the harm in doing so, she remembered the promise that she had made. That was Josh¡¯s business and he had asked for help from her specifically. It was not her story to tell.

    ¡°That¡¯s not for me to say.¡± Sara wasn¡¯t sure how else to avoid the question without actually confirming or denying it and not lying.

    ¡°That¡¯s fair.¡± Sara was always grateful for Connor¡¯s easy going attitude. He was never one to pry or make someone uncomfortable.

    ¡°But still, there¡¯s something different about him.¡±

    ¡°There is. And I think we¡¯ll see what exactly soon.¡±

    ---

    When Josh returned to his apartment, Kerry was waiting for him. It was the middle of the day, and his roommate should have been in class. But there he was. Waiting in the kitchen, sitting on the counter, sipping something from a glass bottle¡ªJosh couldn¡¯t see exactly what it was because Kerry¡¯s hand covered the label, but that hardly seemed to matter in that moment. What did matter was that this was a confrontation. His roommate had been waiting for him.

    ¡°Back safe and sound I see.¡± Kerry muttered, his words overshadowed by his piercing glare. ¡°And you look like you¡¯ve had a good time too.¡±

    Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure what he meant by ¡®good time¡¯. He had guesses, but he didn¡¯t want to commit to any assumptions. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°If you aren¡¯t the picture definition of the men¡¯s version of a walk of shame, I don¡¯t know what is.¡± Kerry put his drink down and let out a long sigh like he¡¯d just taken a satisfying gulp of whatever it was. ¡°And I have to say I would be proud¡­ I would be, if I wasn¡¯t disappointed.¡±

    ¡°Disappointed? Really?¡± Josh sighed and started to go towards his room. ¡°What are you? My step-dad?¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡±

    Josh cut off Connor¡¯s retort before it escaped his mouth. He had seen the childish sneer of a smile that crossed Kerry¡¯s face whenever he was about to make a dirty joke. ¡°I swear, if you make a joke about having sex with my mom, I will break your nose.¡±

    ¡°Fair.¡± Kerry let out a dark chuckle as if the implication was enough to satisfy him. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t change the fact that you broke your promise to me, J Dog.¡±

    Kerry calling him J Dog was Josh¡¯s final confirmation that his roommate was drunk. And that meant that Josh definitely didn¡¯t have to deal with whatever crap Kerry was about to bring up. But as Josh continued to try and make his way to his bedroom and avoid the half of the apartment Kerry was in, Kerry made a move of his own to cut Josh off. The tiny hallway that both of their rooms were off of connected to the front and back of the apartment, and Josh¡¯s room was closer to the back than the front, so Kerry had a slight advantage.

    ¡°You broke a promise, man. Why would you do that? Huh? What happened to if things start getting weird again I¡¯ll leave?¡± Kerry was blocking Josh¡¯s door now, and taking a menacing posture to stop Josh from trying to push past. ¡°Because I know for a fact you woke up in the middle of the night the other day and freaked out. I know you didn¡¯t sleep the next day either. And I know Sara was in here.¡±

    That had been Josh¡¯s worst fear. But there was no way Kerry could have known Sara was in the apartment. He hadn¡¯t been there. He hadn¡¯t even been in the building. The only way he could have known was if he had cameras in the apartment or Sara had left something obvious behind.

    ¡°Oh, didn¡¯t think I¡¯d find out about that, did you?¡± Kerry sneered. ¡°Jenna came by the other day to pick up her bra and saw Sara leave the apartment. She immediately thought I was two timing her and left me a very angry voicemail, she even called me a manwhore.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry she inferred correctly from bad evidence?¡± Josh knew for a fact that Kerry didn¡¯t date and any hookup was only a one or two time thing.The odds of him two timing Jenna, whoever that was, were extremely high. It gave Josh the means to present a double standard.

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    ¡°Shut up, you know this isn¡¯t about that.¡± Kerry growled in frustration. ¡°No one should be surprised that I mess around with a lot of different girls. And they certainly shouldn¡¯t be disappointed. The world has very low expectations for me. But you¡¯ve never lied to me before now. And you¡¯ve never broken a promise.¡±

    For a moment, it almost looked like Kerry was on the verge of tears. But he growled and wiped the dew from his eyes. He knew he was getting emotional. He had probably known he was going to get emotional as soon as he decided to confront Josh. And that was probably why he was drunk. Kerry and honest feelings didn¡¯t go together.

    ¡°Your drunk, Kerry. And you¡¯re starting to sound like me when I¡¯m drunk.¡± It was a low blow, insinuating that Kerry was being overly emotional, and not one that Josh actually meant.

    In fact, Josh actively regretted saying it. He knew that Kerry needed to open up more with his emotions, it was a serious problem for him, and if he needed alcohol to do that it was at least a start. But shutting him down and chastising him for expressing emotions while he was vulnerable felt dirty. And while Josh may have been studying law, he had never fought dirty before. It caught Kerry completely off guard. So much so that in his stunned state an actual tear managed to break free of Kerry¡¯s eye. At least one. Josh couldn¡¯t see if there were more. Kerry had moved out of the way and was making a quick and silent path to his own room.

    It was an uneasy few steps to his own room, but Josh knew that if he let himself give in and apologize to Kerry he¡¯d end up telling his roommate everything. So, he moved on. He attempted to forced himself to stay in his room for the remainder of the day. Josh didn¡¯t hear Kerry leave, but by the time Josh couldn¡¯t stand his hunger anymore and breached the safety of his tiny bedroom to get something to eat, his roommate had left. His bedroom door was open and Kerry was nowhere in sight.

    Kerry didn¡¯t come back that night. Josh suspected he had gone out to a bar or party to pick up girls and was planning on crashing in the bed of whichever girl would say yes. His roommate had low standards when he was upset. It bothered him more than usual, not that Kerry¡¯s behavior at that moment was usual, because for once Kerry was upset with him. They had shared a space for over a year Josh considered him one of his few friends. But, now, he had legitimately betrayed his friend. He had broken a promise. And he had lied. For good reason, or so Josh told himself, but it didn¡¯t change the fact that he had done something wrong.

    The confrontation with his roommate had spoiled whatever good feelings had lingered from his time at Sara and Connor¡¯s apartment. And when the time to sleep came again, Josh was dreading it. He tossed and turned in bed, he ground his teeth as he tried to calm his mind, and he couldn¡¯t seem to feel comfortable in his own clothes. His discomfort was so great, that Josh didn¡¯t fully realize when he had actually passed out due to exhaustion. And he certainly hadn¡¯t realized that he had begun to dream. For he knew, Josh was still wide awake as he tossed and turned in his bed.

    ¡°Screw this.¡± Josh mumbled to himself as he rolled out of bed.

    The second his feet hit the floor something felt wrong. The threadbare carpet didn¡¯t feel cold under his bare feet. But that wasn¡¯t something that Josh realized, he only knew something wasn¡¯t right. It was like looking at a very difficult hidden image picture, or perhaps a hidden image picture that didn¡¯t actually have a hidden image. Without actually feeling hungry, Josh made his way to the kitchen to rummage through the fridge. But the fridge was empty. Perhaps more surprising, it was clean. Josh had never seen it clean.

    Unsettled by what he had found in the fridge, Josh looked to the junk food shelf that he and Kerry stocked jointly. But though he had seen it full out of the corner of his eye not moments before, it was barren. And the process continued on like that. The dry goods, gone. The booze, not a trace. Even the little half dead cilantro plant by the sink that Kerry insisted was still salvageable, it was like it was never there to begin with. The more things Josh looked for, the emptier and emptier his surroundings became.

    It quickly became apparent that he was not in the real world any more. But this, whatever it was, was incredibly vivid. Josh¡¯s mind was not foggy, his movements were not sluggish, and nothing apart from the continuously vanishing objectives Josh sought out seemed to be behaving strangely. As soon as Josh realized this, and the pattern behind the disappearing objects, that he began to feel fear. This sense of reality and alertness in an unreal situation felt almost exactly like the dream he had had of falling in the bubble. And when that thought was triggered,the logical progression that some mark might be on his arm followed. When Josh looked down to see his arm, the pattern continued.

    Josh¡¯s arm was gone. He had sought it out and it had vanished. In its place was the strange foreign arm he had seen in his other dream, and the spiral mark was there on the forearm in that same shimmering black tone. Without sense, Josh began to claw away at the mark with his right hand¡ªa hand which he now saw matched the foreign one. But it obeyed. He clawed away and pulled off shreds of skin as though they were dried glue. As he shed the skin, he could see traces of his true arm beneath, familiar and unmarked. But the strangers skin grew back faster than he could shred and peel.

    Josh was so focused on his panicked task that he did not notice the world around him shift. He didn¡¯t notice the faint indigo tint that it took, or the translucent quality of it. He was only paying attention to the world around him out of the corner of his eye, and the world around him¡ªhis nearly empty apartment¡ªwas still similar enough to how it should be that he didn¡¯t register the change. But the next change made him pause.

    The ground had begun to swell and warp in small lumps all around him. When Josh looked up he saw the same swelling boils on every surface around him. In an act either brave or stupid, Josh couldn¡¯t quite decide which, he kicked one of the distortions near his foot. It wiggled slightly, like a gelatin, but then with a a sudden and expected wet popping noise it collapsed. The give of the bulge felt like popping a pimple, but instead of puss coming out, something else much worse had. An arm, blackened and twisted as though it had been exposed to fire, burst out of the bulge and began to scrape the ground blindly in search of something.

    After the first popping, the other swelling mounds that had appeared on every other surface popped as well with their own disgusting accompanying sounds. Each sprouted the same hand. And each hand, including the first, bore the mark inspired unwarranted fear in Josh¡¯s soul. An arm on the floor grabbed hold of Josh¡¯s ankle, but he was too afraid of the image on it to respond. More arms grabbed hold of Josh, on his shoulder, his waist, his head, his throat. They seemed to be drawing closer to him now that they knew where he was. And with each hand that grabbed hold of him, Josh was pulled deeper and deeper into the space from which they came. Not necessarily through the floor or the walls, but pulled through the space around him like an egg yolk being extracted from inside the white without splitting it.

    As his vision of the apartment faded, another sight filled his mind. A new sight. A dark room of pulsating flesh, covered completely in the mark¡ªor rather, an extension of the pattern that appeared on the arms. There was so much more to it now, not just the same repeating pattern, but something alive and spreading. Spreading like mold.

    Josh retched at the sight of the world he had found himself in, of the dream he had entered. But the retching was not in the dream. Something, perhaps the terror, perhaps the absolute alien nature of what he had just witnessed, had jolted Josh awake. He had sat upright in his bed and before he had even opened his eyes he expelled the contents of his stomach.

 Ch. 18 Painful Realization

    Josh hadn¡¯t realized it at first, because he had been so preoccupied by stripping his bed and bundling the sheets and blankets he¡¯d dirtied, but the blotches of foreign skin and the spiral mark had returned to his arm. It wasn¡¯t until he had made it all the way to the communal laundry room in the dorms that he saw the change. But it wasn¡¯t the same change. The mark was the right way around this time, not an imprint, and it wasn¡¯t quite so smudged either. Josh would have panicked, but he had seen the features fade before. He had thought they were permanent. And as he sat in the laundry room, he waited quietly in the dark for the skin to turn back to the proper color and for the traces of the mark to disappear.

    Neither shift occurred. Not in the two hours that it took to clean his sheets. Not even a little. It wasn¡¯t until Josh started to scratch as the skin that anything started to change. Just like how it had in the dream, the altered skin peeled off; though it wasn¡¯t as easily removed or as painless of a process. When the peelings touched the floor they crumbled into nothing. And after Josh had scratched them all of, there was a lingering pink patch on his arm that felt raw like he¡¯d just picked scab off early.

    When Josh had returned to his apartment and set his room to rights, he finally picked up his phone. He was still trembling in the wake of his experience, but he wasn¡¯t afraid. Not in the same way he had been the first time. That was the kind of fear that you only felt the first time, though you could never fully acclimate to it. What lingered within Josh was more akin to anxiety or paranoia, and it was closer to what he had experienced long after he had woken from the first dream.

    With shaking hands, Josh sent a text to Sara. ¡°It happened again.¡±

    It was still early in the morning, not even four o¡¯clock yet, so Josh didn¡¯t expect an immediate response. But he knew that if he didn¡¯t send the message then it would be harder to do later. If he waited he would be able to talk himself out of it, and he didn¡¯t want to do that. Sara and Connor were safe, he trusted them, and they were willing to help with this problem that they also knew about. There was no risk of pulling either of them into the situation Josh now found himself in, torn between two realities, because they were already there.

    To Josh¡¯s surprise, a response text came only a few minutes after he sent his. ¡°What happened? Another dream? Do you need someone to come over?¡±

    ¡°Why are you even awake right now?¡±

    ¡°My phone went off, so I checked it and there was your text.¡±

    ¡°Sorry. I didn¡¯t think it would wake you up.¡±

    ¡°Forgiven. You still haven¡¯t answered me. What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°I had another dream. It was a little different. But it was there and a lot worse.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s awful. Do you want one of us to head over?¡±

    ¡°Why is she trying so hard to get herself invited over¡­¡± Josh muttered to himself as he read the last text. He couldn¡¯t sense or think of an ulterior motive, but that didn¡¯t mean there wasn¡¯t something else going on. He wasn¡¯t entirely sure he didn¡¯t want her over though. All the same, the sun hadn¡¯t even risen yet and he didn¡¯t want to ruin her or Connor¡¯s day so early.

    ¡°I¡¯ll manage.¡± Lingering on the thought of what he¡¯d seen, Josh quickly followed up with, ¡°Hey, Connor¡¯s had his for a while longer than you, right?¡±

    ¡°Almost a year. Why?¡±

    ¡°I think I want to talk to him about it. I wonder if he¡¯s had any similar experiences.¡±

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    ¡°I don¡¯t think so, and he probably would have told me¡­ but maybe?¡±

    ¡°Can I come by tomorrow after classes wrap up then?¡± Josh didn¡¯t want to be clingy, and he realized that he had spent most of the past several days in the penthouse, but there wasn¡¯t really anywhere else to turn for answers.

    ¡°Yeah, come by any time. It¡¯s nice to have company.¡±

    It may not always be nice to have company, and he was sure Sara knew that when she had sent the text. But the right company made all the difference. And the more Josh thought about it, the more he realized that he considered Sara and Connor to be the right company more than most of the people he knew and called his friends. Everything else had been such a shallow relationship by comparison; which was both sad, and wonderful. Josh was sad that he had failed to create any better relationships up to that point. But it was wonderful to be around people that genuinely cared and took the time to coax him out of his shell. No one had really done that for him before, not even Kerry. Kerry had been more of a forced connection that was convenient and entertaining. Josh didn¡¯t harbor any bad feelings for his roommate though; in fact, the concern that Kerry had shown the day before had been incredibly touching.. if not misguided.

    ¡°Oh, by the way¡­ if you see Kerry, and you probably won¡¯t¡­ but if you do, let me know.¡± Josh wanted to apologize, but he doubted he¡¯d have an opportunity for a few days. In the mean time, he probably wouldn¡¯t see Kerry at all until he decided he needed something from the apartment.

    ¡°Funny you should mention Kerry¡­¡± Sara sent the first line of text, and Josh waited an agonizing minute for a follow up. ¡°He¡¯s actually asleep on the couch.¡±

    Given the time between the texts, Josh guessed Sara wasn¡¯t sure what to say and went for the simplest form of the message. It was still surprising.

    ¡°What?! Why?¡±

    ¡°He was banging on our door a little after midnight, Connor went to see what he was shouting about, Kerry threw a punch, and Connor knocked him out.¡± Josh was staring dumbfounded at his phone screen, unable to respond. For a moment, he actually forgot the fear and anxiety his dream had instilled in him. ¡°At least. That¡¯s the summary of it.¡±

    There was something touching about Sara¡¯s account of events to Josh. Namely, that she hadn¡¯t painted him in an unfair light. He¡¯d probably been wasted, rude, and aggressive. But Sara¡¯s account was a factual one, not an emotional one. Josh¡¯s roommate had essentially assaulted Connor, and it didn¡¯t seem like there was any bad blood after the encounter. Josh couldn¡¯t decide if that was noble or incredibly stupid. Probably stupid; Kerry didn¡¯t like anyone having a victory over him.

    ¡°I¡¯ll come get him.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. He¡¯s out cold and it wouldn¡¯t be a great idea to drag him around at this time of night. Also I want to talk to him in the morning.¡±

    ¡°Talk to him¡­¡± Josh muttered. ¡°What are you going to talk to him about?¡±

    ¡°I want to make sure he can¡¯t see my mark¡­ and I want to give him a chance to try and beat up Connor while he¡¯s sober. Just to be fair.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want him to feel like he made a fool out of himself. Less likely to try and get even later.¡±

    Sara¡¯s approach, while somewhat unusual, was a very fair way to approach the problem. If Kerry felt embarrassed or like Connor had gotten a lucky shot in, it would only compound whatever negativity had brought him to the penthouse in the first place. But if he had the opportunity to air his grievances, more so while sober, there was less of a chance that he¡¯d make a point to take out his anger on them later. Josh was worried, however, that Kerry would beat the daylights out of Connor for getting the better of him. It wouldn¡¯t have been the first time, though most other times Kerry was drunk and surrounded by women he wanted to impress.

    ¡°Alright. Let me know how that goes¡­ I think I¡¯m going to try and draw some more, see if I can¡¯t figure out what I actually saw.¡±

    Without looking at his phone again, Josh pulled out the notebook with his sketches of the marks and flipped to a new page. He started drawing the room of flesh, first by outlining the space of the room and then by going back and recreating the extension of the marks. It was grotesque, and lingering on the memory was sickening, but it was also cathartic. Focusing on the mark that had filled that space made Josh¡¯s heart race and his breathing feel thin. And when he was done the drawing did too. But once it was on paper, it was nearly out of his head and he felt like he could start forgetting it so long as he knew it was somewhere.

    By the time Josh stopped and put the notebook down, it was already six thirty and there was a message on his phone that had been there since just after he¡¯d sent the last one. It read, ¡°You don¡¯t need to sleep, but just make sure you rest.¡± And as sweet as the sentiment was, Josh didn¡¯t feel like rest was possible. Not anymore.

 Ch.19 Painful Resolution

    Josh had dragged himself through three classes with next to no sleep. He had walked between buildings on campus like a zombie with a bad limp caused by a missing leg tendon. He had stuck to elevators and gentle flights of stairs to navigate vertically. But all of his efforts to save energy weren¡¯t enough to keep him from nearly collapsing before his final class of the day was over.

    Nearly might be an understatement. Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure if he had actually fallen asleep during the lecture, but when he hadn¡¯t realized the class was over until another student on his row in the lecture hall brushed past him on his way out¡­ it didn¡¯t really matter at that point. He¡¯d gotten nothing out of the lecture. Not even notes.

    After being rustled awake in the lecture hall, Josh managed to scramble his things together and avoid getting called out by the professor on his way out. But once he made it too the hall he began having trouble keeping his eyes open. Every few steps he had to hold still and blink for an extended period of time, and every time he passed a water fountain he took a sip to get something cold in him. His system worked as he crossed through the various buildings on campus as he made a direct route towards Sara and Connor¡¯s apartment. But when he reached the last part of campus that stood between him and his destination, things got a little more difficult. He had to cross busier streets, there were no more water fountains, and if he stopped to shut his eyes for a second too long he felt like he might actually pass out. And he almost did just a few steps out from the Benedictine. He had reached out to pass through the door to the lobby, and someone else had pulled it away from him to leave. That sensation of not having anything to hold on to kicked in and Josh nearly toppled over into the lobby and onto the strangers shoes.

    With a great deal of effort¡ªeffort that induced nausea¡ªJosh managed to right himself before he lost his balance. The woman who had opened the door in front of him uttered a muffled apology as she slipped past him. She seemed the type to avoid anyone you could use the word riffraff to describe. And in that moment, Josh was riffraff. He looked dead on his feet and the woman, with her Chanel coat and Gucci handbag, gave him a wide birth. It was as if one touch would spread his disease. And with all the nightmares and weariness, Josh felt like he was diseased. He didn¡¯t blame her, or any of the people that had looked at him with disgust while he was walking along. He looked exactly like what they all thought he was, and it was more or less his own fault for not sleeping. He knew he could sleep, he had slept the night before. But going back to sleep and closing his eyes of his own free will when all he could see when he closed his eyes on purpose was that room of pulsating flesh... it was unthinkable. It was bad enough that his exhaustion forced him to close his eyes for a prolonged period of time every minute or so so that they wouldn¡¯t shut on their own, because he saw it then too. And the feelings that room room evoked, of fear, of being hated, of existential desolation¡ªit was literally soul crushing to experience.

    With his mind racing as he pondered his experience, Josh didn¡¯t realize that he¡¯d made his way into the elevator and was on his way up to the penthouse. His body was more or less moving on its own at that point.The elevator ride itself gave him a little motion sickness, but even that hardly registered. And when he made it to the penthouse, he barely managed a knock on the door. It was as if existence itself had become exhausting.

    ¡°Hey, come on¡­ holy hell.¡± Sara had opened the door and started talking before she¡¯d even seen Josh, but the moment she did she stopped dead in her tracks. ¡°You look worse than last time. Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s cumulative. Can I take a nap on your couch?¡± There was nearly no break between the words that tumbled clumsily out of Josh¡¯s mouth.

    Sara didn¡¯t even answer. She just pulled Josh in by the arm and practically threw him on the couch. The cushions were stiff, and they smelled mildly of body odor and vomit, but as soon as Josh made contact with them he was out like a light.

    ¡°Is that¡­?¡± Connor made his way over from the refrigerator, his voice loud at first he cut himself back to a whisper as soon as he saw Josh unconscious on the couch. ¡°That¡¯s the second one in twenty four hours.¡±

    ¡°The second what?¡± Sara whispered back. ¡°Hapless guy from school to pass out as soon as they walk in our door?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ pretty much.¡± Connor nodded, the made motion more difficult by the ice pack he was holding to his left eye.

    ¡°The first one doesn¡¯t count, since you¡¯re the one that knocked him out.¡±

    ¡°Oh, he was drunk off his rocker. It was only a matter of time.¡± He rolled his eyes, or eye, the other was swollen shut. ¡°I practically caught him on the way down.¡±

    ¡°You definitely caught him the second time.¡± Sara chuckled quietly.

    Connor frowned, but shook off the laughter. ¡°Get your giggles in while you can. Once Margot gets back, we¡¯re picking up sparring again.¡±

    ¡°And then I¡¯ll get to knock on your butt.¡± Sara knew the joking was going to turn into an impromptu sparring match, and as much as she wanted to prove her point she relented with a nod over to Josh. ¡°The only one that¡¯s been really beat up today is him.¡±

    ¡°Did he tell you what happened?¡± Connor dropped the joking aggression easily, he ha no desire to get in a second fight.

    ¡°He was going to talk to you about it, and I can¡¯t really tell you¡­ but he hasn¡¯t been sleeping.¡±

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    ¡°He was sleeping right there the other day though¡­ is this a recent thing?¡±

    Sara didn¡¯t know how much she wanted to tell, but she wasn¡¯t as afraid of letting little pieces go now that Josh had said he wanted to explain what was happening to Connor. ¡°Connor, I think that might have been the only real sleep he¡¯s had in about four days.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Connor was at a loss for words and so started swearing under his breath. ¡°You think that¡¯s why Kerry was over here and pissed at us? Maybe he thinks we did something to Josh?¡±

    ¡°Maybe?¡± Sara shrugged. She was at just as much of a loss. ¡°He said I don¡¯t want you in my apartment anymore¡­ which¡­ I mean, I was over there the other day. But Josh asked me to come over.¡±

    ¡°That, or maybe he just doesn¡¯t like us.¡±

    Sara shook her head in strong disagreement. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think that¡¯s it. And no, I¡¯m not being egotistical. He just doesn¡¯t have a reason to have any sort of general opinion like that, not unless Josh has been talking to him about us. But I don¡¯t think Josh would be telling him bad things about us¡­ unless we seriously misjudged Josh?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± Connor let out a single huff of a laugh. ¡°He¡¯d have to be a total psychopath to act that well, and we¡¯d be able to tell. There¡¯s signs for it, and I don¡¯t think he could see the marks if he was that warped inside.¡±

    ¡°Hold on, you remember that story Margot told us about the guy in her boot camp?¡± Sara narrowed her eyes on Josh¡¯s unconscious body. ¡°He was a cannibal and he could see the marks.¡±

    ¡°He was a cannibal because he did bath salts on a regular basis.¡± Connor scoffed.

    ¡°Shssshh.¡± Sara hissed with a finger to her mouth.

    ¡°Look, what I¡¯m saying is that some people are just deeply messed up and choose to nurture that part of their psyche over the parts that would keep them stable. And they do that for whatever reason. I don¡¯t think that kind of personality would be willing to actually grasp a mark; their minds are already in their own¡­ other reality removed from this one. They wouldn¡¯t know something truly alien if it bit their face off. But people that do hard drugs, they¡¯re just normal people¡­ that have drugs in their system.¡±

    Sara rolled her eyes, unwilling to dive into the conversation she had been presented with. ¡°Whatever, what I¡¯m saying is, Josh is normal. He wants to be a lawyer and work in an office the rest of his life so that he can help people. That¡¯s the pinnacle of just barely over the line. He¡¯s the epitome of normal.¡±

    ¡°Homicidal maniacs looks just like everyone else.¡± Sara caught the corner of Connor¡¯s mouth twitch up in a smile that was begging for her to answer the movie quote.

    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ I¡¯m being serious¡­¡± Sara¡¯s face scrunched up in a sour expression. ¡°You really think I haven¡¯t seen Adams Family?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s older¡­¡± Connor half whined. ¡°You could have missed it.¡±

    ¡°You think I missed it¡­ by that much?¡± Sara held her fingers up in a pinching gesture.

    ¡°C¡¯mon, Sara. Please. Get Smart was satire. Of course I¡¯ve seen it.¡± Connor laughed as quietly as he could. ¡°You know I love movies that make fun of themselves. Saves me the trouble.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a draw then.¡± Sara hit Connor with a silly glare. ¡°Truce?¡±

    ¡°Truce.¡± Connor agreed easily and held out a hand to shake on it formally.

    Sara shook Connor¡¯s hand and went for a flourish shake with her pinky finger at the same time as he did. It was a common silly handshake they had started doing in their childhood. It felt strange to do in their adult lives, though they didn¡¯t really consider themselves adults. But they were living on their own, they had responsibilities. The biggest one on their minds in that moment was sleeping on their couch.

    And he slept there for over an hour. Connor had given up on waiting after the first thirty minutes. It was about at that point that he figured Josh had been downplaying his request when he called it a nap. After giving up on waiting, Connor had moved to the kitchen to wash off berries and then snack on them. Sara had gone back to studying. Both were done with their tasks before Josh woke up.

    After Sara had finished studying, she had gone over to the living room and sat down on an armchair next to the couch so that she could read and keep an eye on Josh. Strangely, the closer she was to him the less anxious she felt about his condition. It was like she had developed an instinct for his safety, and as she thought about it she started to wonder if she could test that feeling. But when she stood up to see what kind of radius her sense of security around Josh was, it was gone. For a moment she thought it might have been a vertical distance issue, or a line of sight feeling, but as she looked back to Josh she realized that it was because he had woken up.

    ¡°Hey.¡± She said, her signature huge grin bright as ever. ¡°You slept for like two hours.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ heck.¡± Josh stumbled to his feet.

    ¡°Yeah, and you were sleepwalking. You gouged out my eye and knocked over the jar of spoons in the kitchen.¡± Connor called out with an air of false aggravation.

    ¡°Did I?¡± Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure what was going on. He only saw Connor¡¯s swollen and bruised eye and the now vacant space on the kitchen island. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±

    ¡°Shut up. Don¡¯t apologize to him. You didn¡¯t move a muscle the whole time.¡± Sara said with a laugh. ¡°That¡¯s from Connor¡¯s fight with Kerry.¡±

    ¡°You should see him.¡± Connor waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke, but winced when the motion reopened a barely scabbed cut over his left eye. ¡°I think I broke his nose.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be the first time.¡± Josh coughed up a chuckle thick with the phlegm accumulated from sleep. ¡°His dad¡¯s a plastic surgeon, so if there¡¯s long term damage he can get it corrected.¡±

    Sara sat back down and put a hand on Josh¡¯s shoulder to get his focus. It worked. Josh was immediately looking at Sara, his mostly vacant tired expression catching her off guard.

    ¡°Are you¡­ are you okay? Did you have another dream just now?¡± Sara asked quietly enough that Connor would have a hard time hearing her.

    Josh messaged his temples as he tried to recall any memory of a dream. ¡°No. It feels like I blinked.¡±

    Connor sat down on the other end of the couch and for a moment looked like he was about to put a hand on Josh¡¯s other shoulder, but thought better of it. Too much contact after waking up didn¡¯t sound like a recipe for successful comforting. With his arm already awkwardly up, Connor let it rest on the couch behind Josh.

    ¡°You wanted to talk to me about something?¡± Connor wasn¡¯t sure what to anticipate, and tried his best to make his voice and position seem friendly.

    Josh gently withdrew from Sara¡¯s grasp and turned to Connor, getting close enough to be slightly uncomfortable by accident. Both men scooted back an inch on the couch to facilitate a more casual conversation.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been having dreams. Awful¡­ terrifying dreams. I think it¡¯s because I can see the marks, because I keep seeing a mark on my own arm in them¡­ and I was wondering if you¡¯ve ever experienced anything like that?¡±

    ¡°I have a lot of dreams, Josh. You¡¯re going to have to tell me more.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Josh took a deep breath. ¡°I think I might be able to show you better than I can tell you.¡±

 Ch.20 Confusing Answers

    Though the living room in the penthouse was open to most of the space in the apartment, and though there were three adults in it, it was dreadfully quiet. The sound of Connor turning the page of the notebook he had been handed was deafening. It made Josh¡¯s jaw clench like he¡¯d been right next to a chalkboard while someone scraped their nails across the surface. And just like with Margot, Connor¡¯s reaction to what he was seeing was subdued and frustratingly hard to read.

    ¡°I feel like you¡¯ve just handed me a snuff film.¡± Connor breathed out the words as he dropped the notebook back in Josh¡¯s hands. ¡°And I can¡¯t describe to you why that¡¯s how I feel. But it is.¡±

    ¡°That makes sense.¡± Josh said with a sigh. ¡°My dreams have been terrifying, but not in a way that I could tell you and you¡¯d understand. It¡¯s not a rational fear.¡±

    ¡°No it¡¯s not.¡± Connor nodded in agreement. ¡°And while I can say that¡­ I¡¯ve never actually seen this before. Neither of those marks look familiar. And that one, the room¡­ I¡¯ve never heard of or seen a mark go on like that.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d recognize them.¡± Josh said with a breathy voice. ¡°That¡¯s the one I see on you guys. That one is just¡­ horrible.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s strange you say that. I didn¡¯t think it was possible for someone like you to replicate what a mark looks like.¡± Connor raised an eyebrow to Sara, looking for some kind of reassurance that he wasn¡¯t getting his information wrong. ¡°I remember before I got my mark, I could see them and describe them in the moment but I could never attempt to recreate them if I wasn¡¯t looking right at one.¡±

    ¡°Really? You couldn¡¯t remember what they looked like for years?¡±

    ¡°I mean, it gets a little less foggy the more exposure you get, but yeah. It¡¯s an alien thing that your brain isn¡¯t used to seeing. And I think it¡¯s also kind of like a defense mechanism.¡± Connor leaned back into a more casual position as he explained. ¡°The less you can tell other people, the safer the people with marks actually are.¡±

    The idea of marked individuals not being safe wasn¡¯t something Josh had lingered on. It had passed through his head many times, more so after Margot had told him that there were some dangers, but she had downplayed it. Now, after the dreams, that danger seemed real.

    ¡°When you say safe¡­¡±

    ¡°Actually, what just happened with Kerry is a good example.¡± Connor indicated to his swollen eye. ¡°When people that can¡¯t see marks catch wind of them, it tends to go badly. There¡¯s an instinct in the human mind to preserve sanity, whatever that means for different people. And When confronted with the choice between violence and insanity, people usually choose violence without really thinking about it.¡±

    ¡°But that¡¯s it? Just normal people confused and unsure of what¡¯s going on?¡± Josh wanted to make his question clear, because what Connor had just said and what Margot had said didn¡¯t seem to match up. ¡°There¡¯s nothing¡­ else?¡±

    ¡°There are other things too. Certain people that know about marks but can¡¯t have them¡­¡± Sara started, but she looked uncomfortable talking. ¡°Those people are jealous and they sometimes seek out people with marks and torment them.¡±

    ¡°But that¡¯s part of a broader explanation of things.¡± Connor cut Sara short. ¡°I swear we¡¯re not trying to hid things from you, but given your situation you should really hear about all of this stuff from Margot.

    Josh leaned back, away from both Connor and Sara. ¡°What do you mean, my position?¡±

    Sara¡¯s face tinged red as she shyly tried to explain. ¡°You¡¯re not a normal person.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re different than the normal type of person that can see marks, she means.¡± Connor corrected. ¡°Your mind has already adjusted like you have one, but you don¡¯t. It¡¯s like you¡¯re getting side effects but no benefits.¡±

    ¡°Side effects?¡± Josh felt like he¡¯d just had a bomb dropped on him, he could hardly give his words any volume.

    ¡°Having a mark makes you sensitive to a lot of things. Sensations get a little more focused, your mind gets a little easier to clear, and you can have dreams about¡­ where the marks come from.¡± Sara had held up a hand to stop Connor from interrupting her. She was still uncomfortable explaining as she was, but spoke with confidence. ¡°Not everyone has dreams though. And not usually when their¡­ here¡­ I can¡¯t exactly explain that¡­ but if you¡¯re willing to wait out a better explanation, Margot should be back tomorrow some time¡­¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t keep his thoughts contained. He was confused, and afraid, and frustrated. And he couldn¡¯t stop himself from an outburst.¡°Why do you keep calling your mom by her name? Both of you do it and it¡¯s weird.¡±

    There was a long pause.

    Sara had gotten so red in the face that it looked like she might be having a heart attack. She was like a tomato. A horribly embarrassed tomato. And Connor, though he also looked more uncomfortable than he usually did, was starting to chuckle quietly to himself.

    ¡°Dude, Josh. It¡¯s a lot. For all of us. We¡¯re still new to this stuff too.¡± Connor tried to sound comforting, but he couldn¡¯t get rid of that hint of a laugh in his voice. And it got worse every time he looked at Sara. ¡°We¡¯ve known about it for years, yeah, but Margot didn¡¯t really tell us the nitty gritty stuff till we got a lot older. ¡°

    ¡°Yes, exactly.¡± Sara¡¯s face lightened at the assistance from Connor. ¡°We were ready to hear what she had to say because we grew up expecting it to be said. But you¡¯ve just been thrust into all this later in your life¡­¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    ¡°You make it sound like I¡¯m old! I¡¯m twenty-two!¡±

    Connor pointed a finger in objection. ¡°That¡¯s about when most people start getting their imaginations crushed out of them.¡±

    ¡°You know what? I actually want to take this seriously so shut up for a second.¡± Josh held up both hands, palms wide, in gesture of submission. ¡°How about I ask a question, and you guys give me a straightforward answer without getting sidetracked. And if you can¡¯t or don¡¯t think I¡¯m ready for the answer, just say next. Will that work?¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Sara and Connor said in near unison.

    ¡°Okay.¡± Josh let out a deep sigh. ¡°I like you guys, but sometimes you get really hard to follow. Alright. First question. Do either of you have dreams because of your mark?¡±

    ¡°Once, the night after I got it.¡± Connor nodded. ¡°But nothing like what you described. It was actually really peaceful. I was in this bubble floating around an invisible pond like I was on a pool floaty, and it was warm and serene. One of the best dreams I¡¯ve ever had.¡±

    ¡°Never.¡± Sara answered simply.

    ¡°Okay. I might come back to that Connor.¡± Josh turned the notebook to the page where he had written down everything that had happened in the first dream and put an asterisk next to the first line that mentioned the bubble. ¡°Second question. Where do these marks come from?¡±

    ¡°Next.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Question two B. What¡¯s older, human history or marks?¡± Josh knew he wasn¡¯t going to get specific information, but vague information he could begin to draw conclusions from would be better than nothing.

    ¡°Marks.¡± Came the unanimous reply.

    That told Josh more than he expected. At the very least that he was getting into something very old and very serious. It gave him a certain outline of the potential scope of the situation at the very least.

    ¡°Third and last question. What activates a mark?¡±

    Connor looked to Sara in subdued alarm. He had been totally unaware that Josh knew that activating a mark was something that happened. But the look that Sara gave him filled him in enough that he had an idea of what had happened. But his roommate still looked uncomfortable to him, uncertain. She was, much like Connor, unclear what where the answer to that question would go and if Josh was ready to here it yet or not.

    ¡°Next.¡± Connor answered with an aimless gesture that indicated he had given up on deciding if it was something that should be answered.

    ¡°No. Wait.¡± Sara bit her lip as she thought about how she wanted to phrase her next words. ¡°It¡¯s complicated, but it isn¡¯t that strange or abstract. A mark activates when you experience serious danger and the world turns its back on you. It¡¯s a moment when you have to fend for yourself and the mark activates to enable you to do that.¡±

    Josh leaned forward and watched the silent exchange between Connor and Sara. They were in disagreement about something. Worse than that, they were avoiding saying something specific. Josh could tell, they wouldn¡¯t have been able to have such a complex conversation silently otherwise.

    ¡°I know I said that was the last question, but judging from the looks on your faces there¡¯s more to it. What kind of danger are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a very specific kind of danger. One that really only marked people face. It happens¡­¡± Connor drew in a breath mid sentence and caught himself, as if he was deciding if he should actually finish the sentence. ¡°It happens when someone important forgets you. It¡¯s when you lose all chance of having an important role in their life and reality comes crashing down on you.¡°

    ¡°What does that mean?¡± Josh had grown frustrated again. ¡°I understand the words your saying but they don¡¯t make sense. You¡¯re still leaving things out.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t make it make sense.¡± Connor said with a sigh. ¡°It hasn¡¯t happened to me yet, so I don¡¯t exactly know what all it entails either. Just that I¡¯ll need to defend myself and seek shelter. And even then, that could be metaphorical instruction.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, it¡¯s complicated stuff.¡± Sara had come to Connor¡¯s defense before Josh could snap at him again. ¡°You deserve real answers, but we can¡¯t give them to you in a complete way. Margot¡­ my mom, she can tell you what you want to know.¡±

    Josh wiped his hand across his face and took in a deep breath. It was a long time before he let the air out again though. He needed to compose himself. The lack of information he was getting wasn¡¯t their fault, Sara and Connor were just less in the know than he had hoped. He needed to know one more thing though. One more thing before he let his questions go and gave in to the growing need he felt to close his eyes and sleep again.

    ¡°Last last question then. Who is Margot? Who is she really?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s¡­¡± Connor struggled to vocalize the word he wanted to use. He knew it would sound wrong coming out of his mouth.

    ¡°She¡¯s my guardian.¡± Sara said with a weak smile. ¡°She¡¯s raised me my whole life, but she¡¯s not my mom. She¡¯s barely even my adopted mom. Margot¡¯s like a teacher whose job is to take care of me until my mark activates.¡±

    As Sara spoke Connor found the proper framing for his answer. ¡°In the terminology that marked people use, she is what is considered a master. Like a karate master, but for marks.¡±

    Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure how to respond, and so he ended up saying the first thing that came into his head. The first thing that remotely resembled words at least. ¡°So she¡¯s just¡­ some woman?¡±

    ¡°No. She¡¯s my legal guardian. My parent. But she was assigned to me.¡± Sara said firmly. ¡°My actual mother... doesn¡¯t come around a lot. I¡¯ve met her a handful of times, and she keeps tabs on me, but Margot is the one that raised me. She¡¯s also just¡­ not very confident when it comes to being a motherly figure. So, in private, she prefers me to call her by her first name. So, I think of her more like an older sister.¡±

    ¡°Okay, so how old is she really, then?¡± For once, the answers Josh was getting sounded reasonable. They raised a lot of other questions, but the answers he got made sense. ¡°Because she looks our age.¡±

    ¡°Old.¡± Connor smirked. ¡°Very old.¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t age at the same rate as normal people. It¡¯s a side effect of having an active mark.¡± Sara tacked on. ¡°But she¡¯s not very mature in a lot of ways. That¡¯s a side effect of being an outcast, not her mark.¡±

    ¡°So, marked people live for a long time?¡± Josh hadn¡¯t heard about that part of being marked. It seemed there was a lot more to it than just getting unique special abilities, but those things had just been left out.

    ¡°Yes and no.¡± Connor tilted his head back and forth in a gesture like a scale trying to decide where the most weight was. ¡°That¡¯s a question I would actually skip. But short answer, before you get there, marked people aren¡¯t immortal. It¡¯s more like they get really good moisturizer.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ right...¡± Josh yawned. ¡°I think¡­ I think I¡¯m getting too tired to ask questions.¡±

    Sara looked at Josh with the most gentle smile he had ever seen. It was an odd cross between a motherly smile and kind of smile that dogs get when they¡¯re at peace. Josh was so tired and entranced that he hardly heard her tell him to, ¡°Get some sleep then. If you have another dream, get one of us and we¡¯ll keep you company.¡±

    There wasn¡¯t much more that Josh could do. He nodded and closed his eyes to blink. But then his eyes didn¡¯t open back up again. His body went slack and he crumpled backwards onto the couch in a mostly upright position. And the next time he opened his eyes it felt like he really had blinked. But it was morning when he came to. It was morning and someone new was sitting at the end of the couch near his feet. A very concerned woman that looked a lot like Margot.

 Abstract Dreams

    Marked beings are capable of having incredibly realistic and meaningful dreams.

    Similar to lucid dreams, these visions¡ªas they are sometimes called¡ªgenerally focus on the nature the expanse and the abstract world. The interpretations of these dreams can be very insightful to the dreamer and not mean much else, if anything, to other beings.

    While some marked beings can experience these dreams regardless of what world they are in, they are most common in the abstract world. This is likely the result of having both a mark and the flexibility to defy the innate laws of the abstract world.

    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    Some dreamers claim to witness the future, or possible futures, through their dreams. Others claim to have been shown aspects of the past, perhaps things which occurred and they could not have known otherwise.

    Very rarely, dreamers are able to contact other beings through their dreams. Typically, this only extends to beings which they are familiar with and reside within the same world as the dreamer at the time of dreaming. Such communication is limited by the ability of the recipient to maintain a clear and organized mind while sleeping.

 Ch.21 Hidden Call

    ¡°Did he have any more episodes?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he said it happened again last night. And he messaged me pretty much right after it.¡±

    ¡°And he saw the same thing?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. But bigger this time.¡±

    ¡°Bigger?¡±

    ¡°Like it was covering every surface around him.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ that¡¯s unusual.¡±

    Josh listened to the conversation around him as he woke up. He had opened his eyes enough to see Margot sitting next to him, but then closed them again when he realized that she was talking about him. It wasn¡¯t clear if they knew he was awake yet or not, but Margot and Sara¡ªit sounded like she was the other voice¡ªwere talking like he was still asleep. Without a way to properly explain why he had feigned sleep, Josh opted to just wake up again.

    ¡°I know you just woke up, but I¡¯d like to talk to you.¡± Margot said as soon as Josh sat up. ¡°It¡¯s important.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Okay.¡± Josh was still drowsy, his body still heavy with sleep, but he felt awake enough to talk. ¡°Is it about the dreams? The test?¡±

    Margot bit her lip, uncertainty clear on her face for once. ¡°Do you want to talk about this privately?¡±

    The room was mostly as Josh had left it. Connor was on his computer in the study area and Sara was sitting where she had been the last time Josh had been awake. Nothing seemed wrong. It took a moment for Josh to realize that he had slept without dreams, but when it dawned on him he couldn¡¯t help but smile. For the first time in days, he felt comfortable and safe.

    ¡°No, this is fine. I told Connor about it and Sara already knows.¡±

    ¡°I caught up with someone I know¡­¡± Margot began, still unsure. ¡°Another marked person with an activated mark. They¡¯re much more experienced than I am, so I trust them and their knowledge. And they know of two other individuals that have had similar experiences to yours. One saw the mark in a dream and was able to recall it before they had received it. The other was able to see the different mark that you described, but didn¡¯t see it in dreams.¡±

    ¡°Was? Are they not around anymore?¡± Josh knew now that marked individuals aged more slowly, so it must have been a very old marked individual who had passed away. Or so he assumed.

    ¡°No¡­¡± Margot¡¯s expression grew sad, as if that had been the question she hadn¡¯t wanted to answer. ¡°She never never received a mark. During her exposure to marks and marked individuals, she identified two individuals with that mark and soon after dropped contact with her mentor.¡±

    Unsure of how to interpret the information he had been given, Josh could only scrunch his face in confusion.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what that means, but my friend sounded pretty grim. They think that other mark is a bad omen, but they think that being able to see these marks¡±¡ªMargot touched her own arm gently¡ª¡±through dreams and visions, is a good omen. That you¡¯ve experienced both is new, as best as any of us can tell. There are older stories about both the dreams and the other mark, but no one around who knew the people those stories are about. At least, no one I could talk to.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ intimidating?¡± Josh wasn¡¯t sure if that was the word he was looking for. ¡°Overwhelming maybe?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a lot.¡± Sara nodded in agreement.

    ¡°It is.¡± Margot completed the circle of agreement. ¡°Which is why, if you¡¯re willing, I¡¯d like to keep a closer eye on you. I don¡¯t want you disappearing in the night, or who knows what. I also want to know understand what it is you¡¯re going through. So is there anything else you haven¡¯t mentioned to anyone yet?¡±

    For a moment, Josh began to shake his head no, but stopped. There was one thing. One thing he had kept out of his retellings and written account of what he experienced. He had been afraid that acknowledging it would make it more real, and he wasn¡¯t entirely sure he had been awake when it happened. Or rather, he hadn¡¯t decided to believe if it had happened while he was awake or not.

    ¡°There was something else. From the last dream. It happened just before things went really bad.¡± Josh took a deep breath before backtracking. ¡°In the dream, initially, whenever I looked for something it disappeared. And there was a point where I looked down at my arms, and my left arm was replaced again. And the mark was there, but I was able to peel it off. It kept bleeding back to the surface of the skin like ink on paper, and really fast, but I was able to peel it off like I was peeling foil off a piece of candy. And then when I had woken up, it was still there. Not the whole arm, but the blotchy test result looking version. A little more defined than when we actually did the test, but still incomplete and like a rash. But it didn¡¯t fade. It was on my arm for nearly an hour. I had to peel it off like dead skin on a sunburn to get rid of it.¡±

    Neither woman responded immediately to what Josh had said. Sara looked intrigued, but not worried. Margot looked bewildered. Her eyes had narrowed and she almost seemed like she didn¡¯t believe what she was hearing.

    ¡°I need to go back.¡± Margot stood without a warning and started to make a break for the door. ¡°I just get here and I need to get back. I need to ask about that. That¡¯s not normal.¡±

    Stolen story; please report.

    ¡°You just got here!¡± Sara protested. ¡°Josh¡¯s problem can wait for a bit, right?¡±

    Sara¡¯s eyes met Josh¡¯s for a moment, pleading for him to agree with her. How could he say no. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. I just had a good night of sleep with no dreams, so I should be okay for at least a day.¡±

    The words of her daughter seemed to be what slowed her down, and Josh¡¯s agreement stopped her with her hand on the doorknob. ¡°I¡¯ll just see if I can¡¯t get through on a call then. This is still a big deal, so I should at least try to report in. Do you still have the emergency phone I left here?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s¡­¡± Sara fumbled for a moment. ¡°It¡¯s in the¡­ spice drawer in the kitchen, I think.¡±

    Without further direction, Margot walked quickly to the kitchen. She fumbled around a drawer next to the fridge, Josh heard it slam shut, and Margot made her way towards the bedrooms. She shut first the door to the hallway and then Josh and Sara heard the door to a bedroom close as well. Whoever she was calling, she wanted it to be private.

    Of course, the first response Sara had was ¡°Do you want to listen in?¡±

    She wasn¡¯t mischievous as he words might suggest. Sara didn¡¯t mean listen in in the way that little kids listen in on their parents talking about Christmas presents. It was the sort of listening it that little children did when they were trying to learn if their parents were going to get a divorce. It was a somber suggestion, and one that Josh easily could have said no to. But then as he wondered why Margot would bother with closing two doors to make a phone call about him, after they had already established an understanding of mutual trust¡­ his interest in the matter became overwhelming.

    ¡°Yes. How do you want to do that?¡±

    Sara was already up and walking over to the door that led to the closed off half of the apartment. She gave a silent nod for Josh to follow. It suddenly occurred to Josh that Connor, who had been silent this whole time, was still watching what was happening. As Josh made his way over to Sara side, he looked over to Connor. He was watching carefully, but not saying anything or reacting in a significant way. It made Josh nervous, but he didn¡¯t fully understand why. As Sara opened the door slowly and quietly, Josh thought he saw Connor shrug out of the corner of his eye.

    The hallway beyond the first door was dark, but Josh could see light coming out form under the far door on the left side of the hall¡ªthe door to the spare bedroom in the apartment. And from the furthest side of the hall they could already begin to hear conversation. But Sara crept closer and beckoned Josh to follow her. By the time they made it past the first bedroom door, they could hear Margot clearly.

    ¡°Negative. I told you I need to speak with Gul. Yes. Gul. I know they¡¯re not with you right now, send someone to ask if they can come out and talk. I have something that I need to¡­ yes, I can stay on. Just get them on the line.¡±

    There was a long pause. They could hear Margot start pacing the length of the bedroom as she waited for whoever Gul was to get on the phone. When she began to speak again it was sudden and direct.

    ¡°Hey, Gul, I know I just checked in with you¡­ Yes. Sorry. I know you don¡¯t like to¡­ it¡¯s urgent. I know I told them no one is in immediate danger, but it¡¯s still urgent. That kid I was talking about, the unmarked. He had another dream and he had part of a mark on him when he woke up.¡±

    There was a long pause in conversation where they were sure Margot was listening to Gul.

    ¡°No, he said it lasted this time, no fading. He peeled it off. In his own words, like dead sunburned skin. And the mark was more defined.¡±

    Another long pause.

    ¡°Yes, the same skin oddities too, exactly like I told you before with the test I did. It¡¯s like he¡¯s already marked and doesn¡¯t know it yet. More than that, it¡¯s like he¡¯s already active and reset. But he¡¯s not marked. If I had to put it into words, it¡¯s almost as if his mind knows that other mark is dangerous and is protecting his sanity by manifesting a mark unprovoked.¡±

    Josh thought he heard a second voice briefly, though he couldn¡¯t be sure what it was saying or what it even sounded like. The primary sound was phone static.

    ¡°There was something else, yes. The mark, the other one that he saw in his dream¡­ it was bigger this time. It covered a whole room, and there were more hands. He said¡­¡±

    There was another short break as Gul interrupted Margot. Whatever they said to her had made her uncertain again. Her voice was definitively nervous when she spoke again.

    ¡°I¡¯ll ask, but I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll agree. He¡¯s not a people person¡­ yeah I know you aren¡¯t either. He¡¯s not exactly thrilled about being able to see marks either. But I¡¯ll ask.¡±

    There was a click as Margot ended the call. Sara had a rapid realization that they needed to get back to the living room and began to slink rapidly back down the hallway. But she only made it to the door to the living room, with Josh close behind her, before Margot¡¯s voice stopped her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t bother, sweat pee. I know you¡¯re listening.¡± Margot called out through the bedroom door. ¡°You open doors like a bull in a china shop and apparently Josh can¡¯t tip toe to save his life. Get in here, both of you.¡±

    ¡°Called it!¡± Connor said loudly from the living room.

    Shamefully, for Sara thought she had been very quiet, both Josh and Sara made their way to the spare bedroom where Margot was sitting on the bed waiting for them. The scene quickly became a lot like it had been before when the three of them had sat in that room and talked about what Josh¡¯s dreams meant. But the tone now was very different.

    ¡°I left the living room as a courtesy. Both to you and my friend. They don¡¯t like being overheard, and I didn¡¯t want to pull you in further than you already were, Josh. And explaining why I stepped out would have done about as much damage as letting you listen in anyway, which is why I didn¡¯t present the option.¡±

    That confused Josh. He wasn¡¯t sure what about the phone call had been involved enough to put him at risk of irreversibly learning about marks, but he didn¡¯t question that part. He hadn¡¯t heard the full phone call after all. Though know that he thought about it, he didn¡¯t see the cell phone Margot had brought in with her.

    ¡°But you listened in anyways, so you at least heard some of what I was saying.¡± Margot said with a sigh. ¡°You probably didn¡¯t hear my friend, Gul, though.¡±

    ¡°No, just most of what you said once they picked up the phone.¡± Josh didn¡¯t see the point in lying about it if she already knew they had been listening in.

    ¡°Well, they want to talk to you.¡± Margot raised an eyebrow as she spoke, as if testing the waters of Josh¡¯s response. ¡°In person.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­when?¡±

    Josh was wary but open to the possibility of talking to another marked individual. If anything he would get a better sense of what other marked people were like. But there was still a risk. A risk that he might finally cross that threshold of not being able to turn back and forget everything he had learned thus far. Though there was a part of his mind, and he wouldn¡¯t let the rest of it admit as much, that realized that point had already come and gone.

    ¡°Sunday.¡± Margot said firmly. ¡°Tomorrow.¡±

 Ch.22 Overwhelming Exhaustion

    ¡°What do you mean tomorrow? Tomorrow¡¯s Saturday. Right?¡±

    At first, Josh had been overwhelmed by the request that he had received. A request to meet a more experienced marked person. It was intimidating, especially considering the way in which Margot spoke about them. She seemed nervous, as if this Gul person was very influential and important. And though she had called them a friend, there was clearly more to it than she was letting on.

    Of course, that overwhelming feeling was quickly overshadowed by Josh¡¯s realization that he may have been asleep for longer than he thought.

    ¡°You were asleep for like thirty hours dude.¡± Sara said gently, as if to avoid startling him. ¡°You skipped Friday altogether.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel¡­¡± Before Josh could finish, his stomach groaned and he suddenly felt very dizzy. ¡°I take that back, I do feel it.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we should get some food in you¡­ maybe let you shower up too.¡± Sara offered a hand to Josh to help lift him out of the chair he¡¯d taken in the spare bedroom. ¡°Food first though.¡±

    Josh tried to stand up without help initially, but soon realized that the longer he was awake the more weak he felt. It was amazing, in retrospect, that he¡¯d made it to the spare bedroom from the couch at all. But food sounded amazing, so much so that Josh managed to pull himself to his feet and shamble back out to the kitchen.

    Back out in the open space of the penthouse apartment, things looked much the same. But they felt different. The bright daylight outside the windows had new meaning. Time hadn¡¯t left a mark on the apartment, but it had still passed over it. It made everything that had seemed normal before look a little strange. A little different.

    Connor was still stationed at his chair in the study, laptop open and now fully occupying him. He didn¡¯t even look up at the three of them when they walked through the room and made their way to the kitchen. Not until Sara opened the fridge at least, then Connor took notice.

    ¡°Hey, toss me an apple?¡± He called out from the study.

    Sara had an impish grin and she pulled the fruit from the crisper and looked first to Josh, then to Margot.

    ¡°Give him you best shot, sweet pea.¡± Margot said with a quiet chuckle.

    The look of relaxed humor on her face made Josh relax somewhat as well. Margot had been visibly concerned and anxious up to that point. So as Sara lobbed an apple in an impressive overhand pitch directly at Connor, Josh couldn¡¯t help but snicker as well. The throw was good, nearly perfectly at his face, and Connor struggled to duck out of the way when he realized what was happening. He managed to get a hand up to block his face, and the apple hit his thumb and rolled off to hit his forehead too. There was a hollow crunch, louder than Connors exclamation of pain, as the apple split in half on impact.

    ¡°Underhand next time? Please?¡± Connor muttered quietly.

    Sara ignored the comment and turned back to Josh. ¡°Sandwich sound good? Turkey club?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to make me a sandw¡±¡ªJosh stopped mid statement as he picked up the motherly glare in both Margot and Sara¡¯s eyes¡ª¡±Sure. A turkey club sounds great.¡±

    While Sara began to assemble a sandwich, Margot gestured for Josh to give her his full attention. ¡°I want to warn you a little about Gul, since you¡¯ve agreed to meet them.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t promise I¡¯ll be able to focus, my body is really wigging out on me right now. But I will try.¡±

    Josh¡¯s answer was half excuse to avoid having to listen too closely, half true. He was starting to realize that he was dehydrated as well, and began to worry about his bladder, which surprisingly had not burst in the whole thirty hours he¡¯d been asleep. But as that dawned on him it began to feel as though it might.

    ¡°Actually,¡± Josh held up a hand as he spoke. ¡°I need to go really quick.¡±

    Josh stood, shakily at first, and managed to stay on his feet as he made his way to the bathroom. Once he was inside with the door closed behind him, he realized how wobbly his legs were. It wasn¡¯t safe to stand. So for the next ten minutes, Josh sat on the toilet and let thirty hours of delayed functions take their course. Whatever magic had preserved his faculties, Josh was grateful. It would have been embarrassing in the extreme if he had lost control of them while asleep on the couch.

    When Josh returned to the kitchen, he was given curious and concerned looks, but there were no comments. There was a sandwich on a little circular plate waiting on the kitchen island in front of the chair he had been sitting on. Without a word, Josh sat down and began to eat; for which his body was incredibly thankful. Josh wasn¡¯t sure food had ever tasted so good before, but that was probably because he hadn¡¯t eaten in over a day. When the sandwich was gone, and it was gone quickly, Sara pushed a tall novelty cup of water over to Josh and took his plate. Water, it seemed, had never been quite so refreshing either. If the experience hadn¡¯t been so fraught with negativity, Josh thought that a day of sleep and fasting might have been a nice experience if ending it always felt so nice. But as things were, it wasn¡¯t worth it.

    ¡°Feeling better?¡± Margot asked as soon as Josh put down the cup.

    ¡°Yes. That¡­ that helped a lot.¡± Josh said with a gasp fresh from finishing his drink. ¡°You wanted to tell me about Gul? I¡¯m pretty sure I should be able to focus now.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­¡± Margot said with a drawl that ended in a sigh. ¡°Well, they¡¯re not very sociable. They don¡¯t like meeting new people, because it¡¯s very taxing on them. There¡¯s this self-appointed obligation that they have, they need to be clear on who they are and how to talk to them before you can actually talk to them.¡±

    ¡°I think I¡¯m getting to understand why that might be.¡± Josh hummed.

    Margot let out a huff of air in agreement as she shook her head in agreement. ¡°A lot of us are different. Marked people all have an opportunity to reinvent themselves, to reset as we call it. Gul, however, resets often. They¡¯ve been trying to lock down an identity for themselves for longer than I¡¯ve been alive. And while it¡¯s difficult to address them because of that, calling Gul they or them is a lot easier than what the old norm used to be.¡±

    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

    ¡°Just out of curiosity, what was the old norm?¡± Josh really wanted to ask about what she meant by resetting. He¡¯d heard the term while Margot had been talking about him. But it didn¡¯t seem like the right time to ask.

    ¡°When I first met Gul, they still insisted that rather than gender them we all use the phrase ¡®that one¡¯.¡± Margot groaned at the memory. ¡°Which was well within their right to request, but it was so wordy that my mouth couldn¡¯t keep up with what I was saying. You wouldn¡¯t think two words would be that bad, but in a conversation it¡¯s torture.¡±

    ¡°So I need to be careful about how I address Gul. That shouldn¡¯t be too bad.¡±

    ¡°Well, that. But you need to let Gul explain how to talk to them. And patiently.¡±

    ¡°A little harder. But if I can endure a two hour lecture, I can listen patiently to someone that wants to help.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the other problem.¡± Margot said with a hissing noise made through clenched teeth. ¡°Gul may not want to help you. They want to meet you, but that doesn¡¯t mean that they¡¯ll help. Gul¡¯s inquisitive, so they might just want to keep an eye on you for record keeping and study purposes.¡±

    ¡°They want to meet me so they can study me?¡±

    Josh watched as Sara¡¯s eyes were starting to dart back and forth between him and her mother. It felt like she knew something that Margot wasn¡¯t saying.But at this point Josh wasn¡¯t going to bother asking what it was because he knew it was only going to lead to more questions and information that he probably didn¡¯t want to hear.

    ¡°Considering your unique circumstances¡­ yes. I¡¯m fairly certain Gul wants to study you, but probably not up close. They probably want me to study you, actually.¡±

    Sara was starting to lean closer into the conversation, as if trying to make a space for her to make a comment that she clearly wanted to make.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what kind of studying you mean, but I¡¯d rather not be a lab rat.¡± Josh said with a frown. ¡°But I¡¯ll talk to them at least. Maybe I¡¯ll learn something.¡±

    ¡°Just¡±¡ªSara went ahead and burst into the conversation¡ª¡±Just make sure you don¡¯t stare at them. That¡¯s impolite, but a common reaction.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯ve met Gul before?¡± Josh turned his attention to Sara now, realizing he may have preemptively misjudged whatever information she had.

    Sara bit her lip nervously and nodded, her golden hair bouncing around her face as she did. ¡°They were very nice to me, but that was probably because of Margot. They even forgave me for staring at their head.¡±

    Josh was about to ask, but Margot answered before the question could be said. ¡°Like I said, Gul is still refining their identity. They do have a few things decided on, though. Firstly that they like the name Gul, and secondly, that they hate having any sort of bodily hair. And to that end, they have removed all of the hair on their body.¡±

    That was a strange description to Josh. While changing one¡¯s name and deciding the level of hair on their body was totally within the realm of things one could normally do with their physical appearance, those being the only things that Gul had decided on in regards to their identity made Josh question just how all-encompassing a reset might be. Was it just a formal changing of identity and appearance? Or was there a more surgical element to it?

    ¡°Oookay.¡± Josh let the word linger in his mouth. ¡°I think I can avoid staring too. Anything else I should be aware of before I plunge headlong into this meeting?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not so much a thing you need to worry about, because I¡¯m sure you wouldn¡¯t do anything stupid while talking to Gul¡­¡± Margot began, but the more she talked the less confident she sounded. ¡°There aren¡¯t exactly ranks amount marked people, we don¡¯t have a leadership hierarchy at least. We each have our own designs and groups that cooperate with each other, but some of us are highly regarded. Gul is one of those highly regarded marked individuals. So, don¡¯t get on their bad side if at all possible. If anything, make a good impression so that marked individuals will be more friendly to you.¡±

    That wasn¡¯t ominous at all. And the confidence that Margot was showing in Josh was amazing. It made him excited to go to sleep and wake up the next morning to meet Gul and have all of his problems figured out. But these are sarcastic comments of course, sarcastic comments that made their way through Josh¡¯s head and and no further in the direction of the real word. He was fully capable of keeping his mouth shut and listening to the advice of those around him. That didn¡¯t change the fact, of course, that that advice was beginning to veer off the rails.

    ¡°So where and when am I supposed to meet Gul?¡±

    Margot cocked her head to the side, as if finally accepting that the meeting was going to happen at all. ¡°I¡¯ll get a message to them and we should know by tomorrow morning. But if I had to guess, Gul will choose somewhere in public that they can reserve a private space. Maybe a library or a restaurant, and it will probably be later in the day.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯ll have all day to wait for them¡­¡±

    Josh didn¡¯t like the sound of that. Knowing that something was looming in his future that he had to plan around made him not want to plan anything at all. After all, what could you plan on doing during the day when you have an important meeting of indeterminate length at an indeterminate time?

    Sara intervened again, leaning in to make sure no one would interrupt her while did. ¡°We can finally do some self-defense practice while we wait! If you want to, I mean. Today or tomorrow. Or both.¡±

    That was something Josh felt like he hadn¡¯t though about in ages. At least since the first dream. And it was still something that he wanted to do, but as he sat there and realized how disgusting he felt after sleeping for over a day, the last thing he wanted was to be in close contact to other people; and definitely not if it was some sort of exercise.

    ¡°I think I want to go back to the dorms and clean up first. I have a lot I need to process¡­ and I smell awful.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t gonna say anything.¡± Margot said with a cheeky grin. ¡°But yes. You do.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s probably a good idea. But¡­ maybe¡­¡± Sara was struggling to say something important, Josh could tell. She was getting flush in the face and was clearly too embarrassed for whatever reason.

    Connor was the one who finally said what Sara wanted to. ¡°Once you clean up, pack an overnight bag. You should spend the night here till we know more about what¡¯s going on.¡±

    ¡°I should be fine on my own¡­¡± Josh was quickly interrupted by Sara.

    ¡°No. One horribly inexplicable dream is a unfortunate, but having two so similar¡­ that¡¯s the start of a pattern.¡± She was less red in the face now that Connor had broken down the conversational barrier for her. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have to risk that happening a third time if we know you can sleep here safely.¡±

    What Sara was saying was a truth that Josh wasn¡¯t ready to acknowledge yet. There was the beginning of a pattern forming, Josh had already known that. But two times could still be a coincidence. At least that was what he had told himself. And there had been the one night after the first dream where he had passed out from exhaustion and not dreamed at all. It had been a lot like the night¡­ or day, he¡¯d just had. Who was to say it wasn¡¯t just a matter of having an overactive imagination.

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it.¡± Josh said, trying very hard not to sound dismissive about it. ¡°But getting the grease of a full days sleep off me is still at the top of my priority list.¡±

    ¡°At least, come back when you¡¯re done. Even if you aren¡¯t going to spend the night. We can still get some more questions answered if you want.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± There was no apprehension in Josh¡¯s agreement and Sara looked very pleased with herself for negotiating her deal.

    When Josh made his way out of the apartment, he was immediately self-conscious about his disheveled appearance. It didn¡¯t matter if he didn¡¯t see a single soul he recognized, he still regretted that he looked like he¡¯d showered in days. And he felt it was a pretty obvious look. The few people who¡¯s gaze he did meet at random gave him disgusted looks, which was enough to compel him to take the long way around campus to the dorm in case he did actually see someone he knew.

    The walk was long, and by the time Josh had made it back to the bottom floor of his dorm he was hungry and thirsty again. He felt like he¡¯d been wandering in the desert, even though it was a crisp sixty-five degrees out and overcast. Josh wasn¡¯t worried at all about Kerry being home when he got there, but as soon at he went to unlock the apartment door he heard his roommate inside and he braced for the worst.

 Ch.23 Overwhelming Urge To Run

    By the time Josh realized that Kerry, or someone else, was in the apartment, it was too late. Josh had already stuck his key in the lock and the noise was easily heard from any corner of the tiny apartment. If it was someone robbing the apartment, they¡¯d have probably chosen that point to run. If it was Kerry, Josh suspected that nothing obvious would happen. But then something very obvious did happen.

    The door opened before Josh could unlock it.

    ¡°Dude, where have you been? I¡¯ve been worried sick. I almost called the police.¡± Kerry was there, door open, calm and sober as if nothing had happened.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been over at Sara and Connor¡¯s. I haven¡¯t been sleeping very well and they let me crash on their couch. I think it might be a noise thing.¡± Josh said the first excuse that came to mind and went with it. ¡°It¡¯s a lot quieter up there.¡±

    Kerry pulled Josh into the apartment by the elbow in a way that that made Josh mildly uncomfortable, even though he knew that was just the way Kerry was; though it was uncomfortably similar to their last encounter. ¡°I must have just missed you. I crashed there the other night, and then I got back and you weren¡¯t here¡­ and then like a whole day happened and I didn¡¯t hear from you¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I should have left a note or sent you a text or something. I¡¯ve just been really out of it. I nearly slept all of yesterday.¡± Josh tried to push past Kerry and towards his own bedroom, but his roommate wasn¡¯t budging.

    ¡°No, hold on.¡± Kerry had shifted from passively blocking Josh¡¯s way to actively blocking it. ¡°Josh, I¡¯m sorry. I was drunk and I overreacted. I¡¯ve been acting like a real fool, like I own your friendship. But I¡¯m glad you have more friends, even if they¡¯re weird.¡±

    Josh looked up to meet Kerry¡¯s eyes and noticed a slight discoloration of his face. Like a bruise was nearly gone. But it wasn¡¯t just one bruise, it was a few. Mostly around the jaw and nose. And based on how tightly packed the blotches of slightly yellow skin were, Josh wagered Kerry was probably covered with them.

    ¡°I¡­¡± Josh let out a sigh, but he really meant what he was saying. ¡°I forgive you. And I¡¯m sorry for being so mean to you. You didn¡¯t deserve the crap I said about you being over emotional¡­¡±

    ¡°And I forgive you dude, because you were totally wrong. I¡¯ve been hella stupid about telling people how I feel. I don¡¯t need to get drunk to be honest.¡±

    That took Josh by surprise. His whole attitude did. He saw Kerry standing in front of him, but it was like an invasion of the body snatchers situation. He wasn¡¯t acting like himself at all. If anything, he was acting nearly the complete opposite of how he normally did.

    ¡°How hard did Connor hit you?¡±

    ¡°Pretty hard.¡± Kerry said with a laugh. ¡°He¡¯s kinda terrifying. But he knocked some sense into me¡­ I think. That or maybe it was just how nice they were after I treated them like trash. That didn¡¯t have any reason to do that, but they did. They made me breakfast, gave me a fair fight and an ice pack for the consequences, and they treated me like a person. It was the sexiest thing anyone¡¯s ever done for me.¡±

    That sounded more like Kerry. Maybe a little like he¡¯d had some kind of gay awakening after Connor beat the crap out of him, but still like Kerry.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you got something out of it.¡± Josh stifled a laugh as he said it. It was good progress for his roommate and it definitely eased some of the tension he¡¯d been feeling between them. ¡°So no hard feelings?¡±

    ¡°No, I think we¡¯re square.¡± Kerry said with a huff of a laugh. ¡°I¡¯m about to head to the gym, you interested?¡±

    ¡°Nah. I need to shower.¡± Josh gestured to his appearance and Kerry caught on. ¡°Like I said, I basically slept for a whole day.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you change your mind¡­¡± Kerry moved aside to let Josh pass.

    Despite the importance that Kerry had apparently ascribed to the interaction, he left the apartment almost immediately after. Which was a relief for Josh. He wasn¡¯t sure if he could handle actual conversation or close proximity with other people for a while. Everything he had heard and learned at the penthouse was still swirling in his head like a vortex, and though running into Kerry had temporarily disrupted it, it hadn¡¯t lost any of its force. The second Josh found himself alone in his room it went right back to spiraling.

    ¡°Okay. Dreams good, nightmares¡­ bad.¡± Josh found himself letting the thoughts out of his head out loud and he wasn¡¯t going to put a stopper on that, holding all the thoughts in was only going to make things worse. ¡°Obviously. But they don¡¯t cancel out. At least¡­ they probably don¡¯t. The mark I woke up with didn¡¯t fade, and if Margot was right about it being a defense mechanism¡­ maybe it would help?¡±

    Josh had to shut up as he left the apartment with clean clothes and toiletries. The halls were no place to talk to yourself. And the showers were definitely not the kind of place you wanted to be caught talking to yourself. All the same, his mind carried on the conversation very clear as he extracted information from the vortex of words in his head and tried to place them in a coherent order.

    ¡°If I try and trigger another dream, and I wind up with an incomplete mark like last time¡­ would it stay around long enough to help prevent a fourth dream? Or would it peel off on its own? Is a barely physical symptom of some mixture of insanity and magic water soluble?¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t help but laugh out loud at that last thought. But it also stuck in his head. If he could endure another dream he could begin to experiment somewhat, perhaps even learn for himself what he had gotten himself into. He didn¡¯t necessarily want to separate himself from Sara and Connor and Margot, but if he could do it himself he would feel safer and more confident about whatever he eventually chose to do with the information he¡¯d been given.

    So, when Josh finally ended his nearly half hour long mid-day shower, he sent a message to Sara.

    ¡°I think I want to give sleeping on my own one more shot. If I can¡¯t handle it, I¡¯ll come over first thing.¡± It didn¡¯t sound as confident as Josh felt, but it conveyed what he wanted it to.

    Sara¡¯s response came quickly, almost as if she had been waiting with phone in hand¡ªwhich Josh really hoped was not true. ¡°Are you sure? You¡¯ve been really bad after both dreams, and if it happens again you might not be as prepared as you think.¡±

    ¡°I know it¡¯s going to suck, if it happens, but if I¡¯m prepared for it I want to see if I can defend myself.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s how it works. But good luck.¡±

    A moment later, after Josh had started pacing his room and digesting the information stuck in his head once again, a different text message came across his phone.

    ¡°Hey. Salted lemon wedges.¡±

    Josh was extremely confused at first, but then he saw the contact information on the text and the syntax began to make sense. It was Connor. And his follow up text put the entire thing in perspective.

    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    ¡°It helps you dream a little lighter after you eat them. Easier to wake up or have a lucid dream.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Thanks. That might help.¡± It was all Josh could manage, and there wasn¡¯t much else to say.

    Connor must have thought so too, because he didn¡¯t send another text. Josh was just left there, mid-pace in the middle of his bedroom with the knowledge that salted lemon wedges would help him in some manner. Josh didn¡¯t exactly want the already extremely lucid dreams to become more lucid, though he doubted that salted lemon wedges would help with that. But being able to wake up easier from a dream might be nice in case things started to get even worse than they already had in the past.

    In the first two dreams, the trauma had been enough to shock Josh to a wakeful and alert mind set. Though the bar for what amount of trauma would wake him up had shifted between them. Just being pulled into the other bubble by the marked arm had been enough to wake him up the first time. But the second time, Josh had been pulled through to whatever place the marked arm wanted him to be. And that place had been much much worse. And the longer he thought about getting pulled back into a space like that, the more Josh wanted to text Sara back and tell her he¡¯d changed his mind. Amid his agitation, he¡¯d already packed an overnight bag; but he was determined not to use it. At least not yet.

    Once Josh had forced himself to eat a light dinner, that included some very painfully eaten salted lemon wedges, he continued to pace. The anxiety he had cultivated by thinking his plan over had driven the hunger of the day of sleep into a balance; he wasn¡¯t starving, but he wasn¡¯t satisfied either. It was like a brick was sitting in his stomach and his body knew it wasn¡¯t food. His pacing path was now the length of the small apartment.Kerry had come and gone while Josh had hid in his room. Different though he was acting, Kerry was still Kerry and a Saturday night meant hunting for a booty call. And that was great for Josh. If he was really lucky Kerry would wind up in whatever girl¡¯s bed and wouldn¡¯t hear it when Josh¡­

    It was around that point that Josh had to sit down. He was determined to go through another dream; for science if for no other reason. But whenever he thought of the consequences his stomach turned and his fingers went a little numb as his circulation cut back. It was an odd and uncomfortable sensation to say the least. And nearly every time it ran through his body, Josh found himself aiming for the apartment door. He was ready to go and give up on a moments notice. Just one realization too far into the reality of what he was about to do would have been enough to send him packing.

    But that thought, that perfect alignment of ideas that would have sent him running for the hills, never came.

    Instead, Josh found himself laying flat and stiff as a board on his back in his bed. The light was off, his phone was just out of reach, and the dorm was strangely quiet. Out of fear that the dream had already started without him realizing as it had last time, Josh frequently lifted his arms and let them drop by his sides to check if the sensation was correct. It was, every time. His eyes were shut and he was doing his best to relax and sleep, but it was nearly impossible to manage. Nearly impossible.

    After well over an hour of trying and failing to sleep, Josh resorted to more desperate tactics. He loosened his neck, tipped his chin up every so slightly, and began to take more shallow breaths of air. Gradually, as his breathing became more shallow, he also did his best to space out his breathing. Only deep breaths in and out. Not held for long enough to send him gasping, but just long enough that he didn¡¯t have to flex his muscles to keep his diaphragm in place. It was the edges of his natural breathing patterns, the furthest he could go without doing direct damage to his body. And it worked.

    Gradually, as the oxygen in his body began to thin, his consciousness began to wane. And as he slipped into a sleep, his neck tipped back down to a comfortable and easy to breath . His limbs went slack. And without fully realizing it, for very very few who sleep have the realization that they are falling asleep when they do, Josh began to sleep. And as time passed and his mind stirred in unconsciousness, he began to dream.

    Josh found himself lying on a hard stone slab in the dark. It was silent at first, but eventually, as his senses awakened to the internal world of his mind, a white fuzz of noise began to grow and fill his mind. Before Josh could see and realize what that sound was, he tasted salt and lemon. And then he opened his eyes.

    There was water rushing down towards Josh¡¯s face. A torrent that quickly became a waterfall. In fact it was a waterfall, a cold blanket of water than had already begun to fall over Josh¡¯s form as he lay on a stone alter of sorts. Josh startled and stumbled off the stone and to his feet for fear of getting wet, but he quickly realized that the water was falling off him like an oiled canvas and slipping to the ground and forming a placid mirrored floor.. Moreover, it didn¡¯t feel like it was hitting him at all. If anything was touching his skin it was a sensation of a light breeze. Beyond the torrent of water, there was nothing. There was only an endless curtain of falling water, heavier than rain, but lighter than a solid resting body.

    As the water washed over him, Josh felt a shift. A change in the emotional atmosphere that surrounded him. The water continued to grow louder into a deafening roar, overwhelming his senses. All Josh could hear was the water. All he could see was the water and the stone he had woken up on. But there was a smell, a taste in the air of something else. It was rotten and clawing at Josh¡¯s mind, invading and taking a space for itself.

    For fear of becoming lost, Josh didn¡¯t stray away from the stone he had awoken on. But he was beginning to circle it in an attempt to observe anything that had changed. And it seemed like minutes had passed with nothing but a growing smell of death, before something did physically change. A shape formed from the falling water, not coming from any surface but from the water itself. A hand, as Josh had expected, but incomplete. Almost incorporeal, soft. It didn¡¯t feel as though it had any means of actually grabbing anything. And there were no discernible markings on it.

    Josh looked down to his arm, but noticed no change. It was still the same arm it had been when he fell asleep. And when Josh looked up from his hand, it was not him but the world around him that had changed. The waterfall had stopped running and the sound of rushing water came to a sudden and eerie stop. The hand that had formed before him, only a matter of feet away, began to reach out to him. Other smaller and more corporeal hands reached out from the fingertips and that was when Josh saw the mark. The horrible sensation of dread that had filled him every time before returned, doubled and doubled again. It made his body tremble in horror. The water shook around him, which was the only indicator that Josh was now at the bottom of a resting body of water.

    ¡°Stay back!¡± Josh managed to shout. Or say loudly. He could not quite bring himself to really shout. ¡°Stay back, I don¡¯t want this!¡±

    And, oddly, the hands stopped. They stopped when Josh raised his own hand to ward them away. There was still fear quaking through his form, but less than Josh had anticipated. It was more chemical than psychological. Or at least it was before he saw his arm outstretched before him, completely changed. A mark of four tight spirals wound up not just his forearm but up to his shoulder and down to his fingertips. The skin had changed in tone, to a lighter flesh color. And the shape was distorted from what it had been before. And as the hand before him, ominous and hungry, began to grow closer again, Josh could not help but scream out in fright as he turned to run.

    ¡°Wake up, wake up wake up!¡± He shouted the order to himself, but the voice he heard was not his. It was garbled and completely unfamiliar. It may as well have been the voice of a stranger.

    ¡±Wake up¡­ wake up¡­ wake up¡­¡± A second voice warbled through the water in a deeper echo. If the voice that had come from his own mouth was strange, this one was completely alien.

    In a fit of desperation, Josh turned again. He faced the hands that had begun to accelerate the speed of their advance and he looked to the stone slab where the dream had begun. The hands interposed between him and the stone, he had no other logical recourse. Josh dove forward, half leaping half swimming, and collided with the hands. He passed through, colliding with the grasping hands like a rock thrown into a column of foam. And for a moment, Josh saw a space arranged unlike anywhere he had ever seen with his waking eyes. A room aligned with tall pillars of white metal that stretched from a floor to a ceiling, both made of a smooth black stone. There seemed to be no walls apart from the floor and ceiling. Among it all was a thick and viscous blue gel or fluid, almost like gelatin. And in the middle of the space, was the silhouette of a human figure. It was standing upright, arm outstretched to Josh.

    And as quickly as the vision of that space came, it faded and Josh found himself collapsing against the side of the stone slab. It was cold under his touch, though the sensation of touching anything felt wrong.

    Josh turned to see the hands reforming after his breakthrough. And, as he witnessed that bloodcurdling sight of translucent and opaque flesh coalescing into a shape once more, some previously unfelt instinct took hold of him. He turned back to the stone slab, reeled his head backwards, and pulled his brow towards the rock as fast and as powerfully as he could.

 Ch.24 Painful Consequences

    When he awoke, Josh found himself somewhere unusual. Rather than laying down in bed, Josh was in the showers of the dorm. Fully clothed, water on and drenching him, and he had smashed his forehead into a pipe that ran from the wall to the shower head. And that smashing had been done rather forcefully. Forcefully enough that the pipe was bent in a way that lowered the water pressure of the shower head, and forceful enough that when Josh came too his vision was obscured with a wash of watered down blood. He¡¯s put a gash in his own head, but he was awake.

    More questions had been answered as well. He had been able to wake himself up without being fully pulled into whatever horror world the hand with the other mark wanted to take him. Though, he had glimpsed it and felt cold down to his core; but there was no guarantee the chill wasn¡¯t from sleepwalking into the showers. Though the more unexpected question that had been answered, and the one that drew Josh¡¯s complete attention, was whether or not the temporary mark he had had before was water soluble.

    For there was another sort of mark on his left forearm now, not blotchy but nearly full. The only deformity it held was an apparent deterioration, not unlike the way that a temporary tattoo crumbles off the skin. Josh was afraid to scratch at it, in case it peeled off again, but it certainly looked more stable than the last time it had happened. But there was still something off about it. The skin beneath was a blotchy mixture of Josh¡¯s natural skin tone and a lighter one. What was more, his arm felt sore, like it was bruised through to the bone in several places.

    In a daze, Josh stumbled back to his apartment dripping wet and bleeding. When the door was closed behind him, he didn¡¯t think to check if he could hear his roommate knocking about, he went directly for his own room and peeled off his wet clothing before tending to the gash in his forehead, drying off, and putting on fresh clothes. No longer a physical mess¡ªjust a psychological one¡ª Josh went to retrieve the sopping went pajamas when he realize that there were wet footprints leading from his bed to the door in a path that Josh was fairly sure he had not tread after returning to his room. It was a discovery to be sure, but nothing Josh was willing to think about when he saw it. Instead of investigating further, Josh ignored the wet footprints that wound all through the apartment and then out into the hallways of the door towards the shower¡ªand Josh made his way to the laundry room. He sat there, as he had before, tucked away while his clothes dried out.

    ¡°Are you awake?¡± Josh sent the message to Sara with high confidence that she was.

    ¡°Yup. How¡¯d it go?¡± Her response was fast enough that Josh felt like she¡¯d had her phone in hand when he¡¯d sent his text.

    ¡°I had a dream.¡± Josh sent the first half of what he wanted to say first, but the he found it difficult to articulate the rest of what he wanted to say.

    ¡°Was it bad?¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t help but let out a small hysterical laugh at how much of an understatement the word bad felt.

    ¡°I would say it was as bad as it probably could have been, but something tells me it could have been a lot worse.¡±

    ¡°Do you still want to come over to talk about it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ but I hit my head pretty bad and I don¡¯t think I should be walking around too much like I am. I¡¯m getting a little dizzy.¡±

    ¡°What happened?!¡±

    ¡°I was in the dream, and things were getting bad. So I smashed my head into a stone to wake up. But it turned out I was sleep walking too. So I actually ended up smashing my head into a pipe.¡±

    ¡°JOSH?! What the hell?!¡±

    Josh was mid reply when Sara¡¯s second message came through and made it harder to respond. ¡°We need to get you to the student health center! I¡¯m sending Connor over.¡±

    Not wanting to go to the health center, Josh began to think of any reason to avoid it. On a whim, he checked the time and quickly realized the biggest glaring flaw in Sara¡¯s decision to take him to the student health center.

    ¡°It¡¯s 2am. The health center isn¡¯t even open.¡±

    After a minute, in which Josh imagined she had spent her time looking up information for an alternative, Sara responded again. ¡°There¡¯s a 24 hour clinic just off campus. We¡¯re taking you there.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that bad, I promise. I¡¯m just a little dizzy. And, besides, I can¡¯t afford it.¡±

    ¡°Are you bleeding?¡± It was a simple question, but Josh knew it was leading somewhere.

    ¡°Yes. But I have some gauze and a bandage over it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re bleeding, we¡¯ll pay for it. We¡¯re coming over. If you object, we¡¯ll carry you.¡±

    It was about at that point where Josh realized that there would be negotiating. They were helping, and that was final. ¡°Fine.¡±

    Josh waited after that. First he waited for his laundry to finish drying, which it did fairly quickly, and then he stumbled back to his apartment and waited for He knew it wouldn¡¯t take them long to get down to the dorms, but somehow it still felt like an eternity had passed by the time he heard a knock on the apartment door.

    ¡°Hold on¡­¡± Josh mumbled to himself as he stood up from where he had been resting on the couch.

    The knocking had been relatively tame, but it still sounded loud and incessant to Josh. He had developed a headache since sitting down to rest, and most noises were proving too much for him to handle calmly.

    ¡°Oh my¡­¡± Was the first thing Sara said when the door had been opened for her. ¡°That¡¯s a lot of gauze.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just bad at putting it on and used most the roll I had¡­ it¡¯s not that bad.¡± Josh tapped the wrappings gently with a finger as he spoke.

    ¡°Where¡¯s the pipe?¡± Connor asked. He was leaning over Sara¡¯s shoulder and looking into the apartment with morbid interest.

    ¡°It¡¯s in the dorm showers, I can show you if you want¡±¡ªa thought occurred to Josh that he had completely glossed over before¡ª¡±actually, I should clean up. There was blood all over the floor because there was water¡­ it¡¯s a mess.¡±

    It was half excuse not to go to the clinic and half genuine concern. He could be fined for damaging the property in the dorm, and the pipe was definitely damaged.

    ¡°I can clean it up, just show me where.¡° Sara shook her head as she said it, unable to believe how misplaced her friend¡¯s priorities were.

    ¡°Right. This way.¡± Josh wobbled along the hallway of the dorm for roughly three steps before Connor stepped in and put Josh¡¯s arm over his shoulder.

    Josh led his friends to the showers on his floor of the dorm and pointed out which stall he¡¯d been at when he woke up. He hardly remembered which one it was from memory but he knew where to look for the dent and the dent was still there and easily spotted.

    ¡°That¡¯s where I woke up. Water on, head bleeding, dent in pipe.¡±

    ¡°Holy cow.¡± Connor let out a whistle as he examined the damage. ¡°Is that lead piping?¡±

    ¡°I dunno. I didn¡¯t wake up till after I¡¯d hit it, so I don¡¯t know exactly how hard it was.¡±

    Sara knelt down to where she could see the dent closely and tried to bend the metal on her own. It didn¡¯t budge. And the harder she tried the more it seemed she was more likely to rip out a whole length of pipe than bend just a small portion.

    ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll go grab Margot really quick and have her bend that back into place¡­ And I can get some cleaner too¡­ there¡¯s a lot of staining on the tile.¡± Sara looked up to Connor with something akin to bewilderment on her face. ¡°You think you can get Josh to the clinic alone?¡±

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    ¡°You think you and Margot can break into the boys dorm without a guy to make you look less suspicious?¡±

    The answer to both questions was a resounding yes that never went said.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about the mess, it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s so much.¡± Josh murmured. He was still quite tired, and his head was not doing great. ¡°The water was on when I woke up, and the blood and the water were mixing, and I couldn¡¯t see, and the mark didn¡¯t wash off so I didn¡¯t know if it was real right away or not¡­¡±

    ¡°Mark?¡± Connor asked, surprised. He turned Josh around so that his arm went from around Connor¡¯s shoulder to his own side. ¡°Holy. Whoa.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ a lot.¡± Sara¡¯s eyes widened as she saw the extended mark that reached from Josh¡¯s finger tips up to where his short shirtsleeve covered his shoulder. ¡°How did we miss that?¡±

    ¡°We were looking at the gauze.¡± Connor¡¯s eyes were wide as well and his hand was nearly reaching out to touch the mark. ¡°That just happened on its own? And the skin¡­ mother of¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡­ it kind of itches.¡±

    ¡°Does it peel off? Sara asked, stepping closer to Josh to see the mark.

    Josh pulled his arm back as he began to feel surrounded. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to try. I think not messing with it is what kept me safe and let me escape.¡±

    ¡°Escape?¡± Sara sounded surprised. She¡¯d heard the account of both dreams prior to this one in detail, but Josh had never mentioned a feeling of being trapped. Not explicitly at least.

    ¡°I ran through the hand¡­ it was made of water, I think¡­ and it wasn¡¯t able to pull me in. I wasn¡¯t exactly fighting back, but it was something.¡±

    Connor put a hand up to indicate that he wasn¡¯t going to try and do anything stupid, but got close enough that Josh could put some weight on him again. ¡°Let¡¯s get you to the clinic then. Sara, you sure you got this?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t worry about me. I¡¯m bringing backup.¡±

    ¡°Alright, text me when you¡¯re done. Or I¡¯ll text you when we¡¯re done. We can meet up back at the Benedictine.¡±

    ¡°Wait, I have an overnight bag.¡± Josh was beginning to feel truly tired again, and it was getting hard to concentrate.

    Sara held out a hand. ¡°Give me your key and I¡¯ll go grab it right now. I¡¯m headed back home to grab Margot anyway.¡±

    Without argument, Josh dropped his apartment key in the palm of Sara¡¯s outstretched hand and let Connor lead he out of the dorm. In retrospect, giving the key to your home was a pretty risky move and not that Josh would have made under normal circumstances. But the longer he remained conscious the worse his decision making skills seemed to be getting. And likewise, the worse his introspective abilities became. Consequently, Josh didn¡¯t really care. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep again. But Connor wouldn¡¯t let him.

    As they walked out into the night, Josh grew more sluggish and Connor had to take a more active role in dragging his friend along. At one point Josh almost fell asleep completely while still on his feet and Connor had to give him a few rough taps on the cheek to keep his eyes open. But eventually they made it to the clinic.

    The waiting room was deserted. The receptionist, an older woman, was at her desk with watching a tv drama on a laptop. Josh recognized the show from the scene he could hear playing out, it was a show that his mother watched regularly as a distraction from doing household chores. As soon as Connor dragged Josh in, the receptionist looked up and did a double take.

    ¡°Is there someone we can see about light head trauma?¡± Connor asked quickly. ¡°My friend was sleepwalking and bashed his head in pretty bad, I think he may have a minor concussion.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it could be a concussion, you¡¯re right.¡± Josh mumbled, the thought only just occurring to him.

    ¡°Hold on, I¡¯ll get Doctor Mills, he¡¯s organizing in the back.¡± The receptionist got up so quickly that she forgot to turn off her show.

    Josh appreciated the haste. Both because it didn¡¯t leave the room silent and because it meant that the receptionist was actually taking her job seriously when a task presented itself.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get you in a wheel chair before my arms get numb.¡± Connor grunted as he hefted Josh in the direction of a wheelchair in the corner of the room just beyond the reception desk.

    It was strange, the ease with which Connor carried Josh¡¯s weight around. At least Josh thought so. The latter half of their walk to the clinic he hadn¡¯t been able to support himself much at all. And he was glad for the help, but nothing about Connor¡¯s appearance hinted at the sort of strength and endurance it required to heft an adult for two city blocks without stopping and still not be worn out.

    ¡°What do you think will happen, when your mark gets activated¡­¡± Josh asked absently as he relaxed into the seat of the wheelchair. ¡°Will you get strong like Margot?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Connor answered casually. ¡°I think¡­¡±

    Connor didn¡¯t get to finish and say what it was that he thought because the receptionist returned with the supposed Doctor Mills in tow.

    ¡°Doctor, this boy says his friend hurt his head while sleepwalking.¡±

    ¡°Alright, follow me to an exam room. We¡¯ll see what you need.¡± The doctor grumbled casually. ¡°Both of you. We can get you to sign paperwork after, since it¡¯s an emergency.¡±

    The doctor pointed towards the direction he¡¯d just come from and began to walk back that way. Connor wheeled Josh behind him in the chair. Josh didn¡¯t particularly like the look of the doctor. He looked lazy. Or, rather, he sounded lazy. Or jaded. His short ginger hair said he¡¯d taken great care to make himself professionally presentable, but his round and lumpy figure tucked into undersized clothing said that that was mostly where the self-care ended. It didn¡¯t mean Josh thought he would be a bad doctor, that didn¡¯t exactly matter, but Josh didn¡¯t trust the doctor to be honest with him.

    In the exam room, the doctor had Connor lift Josh onto a padded table with a paper liner. He began to gather his tools about him and chat idly with Connor as Josh didn¡¯t have the energy to respond. At one point he¡¯d said that ¡°if he started to drift off, just squeeze his hand a little to keep him awake. If he has a concussion I don¡¯t want him closing his eyes just yet.¡±

    Doctor Mills began to run a standard series of tests on Josh. Checking if his pupils would dilate, checking for any soreness on various areas of his head, looking for any other areas that might be bleeding. Josh had woken up somewhat with the florescent lights of the examination room shining directly down into his eyes, and was able to answer in a coherent manner, but only barely.

    ¡°And you said he¡¯d been sleepwalking?¡± The doctor turned again to Connor.

    ¡°Yes. He hasn¡¯t been sleeping well for the past couple days. I¡¯m not sure how much rest he¡¯s gotten, but he slept almost all day Friday.¡±

    ¡°And he hit his head on something?¡±

    ¡°He was walking around the dorm on campus and he hit his head on a metal pipe in the showers¡±

    ¡°That is quite a walk¡­ But I¡¯ve heard of somnambulists doing a lot more, so that doesn¡¯t strike me as being too strange. Walking into a slipping hazard is probably the worst thing that could have happened though. But let¡¯s not assume the worst, let me see the wound.¡±

    Doctor Mills carefully unwrapped the gauze from around Josh¡¯s head, sterile cleaning pad and more gauze at the ready. When he pulled off the original covering for the wound Josh felt some of whatever scabbing that had started to form go with it and a small trickle of blood start to run across his skin. The doctor quickly mopped up the mess with a relieved grumble, dressed the gash, and began to recover it with a sterile pad and gauze.

    ¡°It looks mostly superficial. I¡¯d say your friend probably just nicked the side of the pipe on his way down.¡± He shifted from addressing Connor to trying to get Josh¡¯s attention ¡°You¡¯re lucky. A more direct impact and you could have done some serious damage to your skull. But as it is, you¡¯re hardly going to have a bruise. The cut should be healed enough to take the wrappings off by lunch tomorrow, though you should probably change the bandage out once you wake up again¡­ But just to be sure, I¡¯m going to prescribe you a strong antibiotic ointment to dress any other bandages with. I know how filthy those dorms can get, and who knows what you got in there after you fell.¡±

    The doctor swiveled around in his chair so he could face his desk and began writing up a prescription on a notepad. ¡°If there¡¯s any further pain, you¡¯re welcome to come back here. Make sure to wake your friend every two to three hours while he sleeps to make sure he wakes up normally. If he doesn¡¯t wake, get him to an emergency room.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Connor said, polite as he could be. It hardly seemed normal for Connor to participate in politeness and formalities, but he was dealing with a doctor and that seemed to change his tone and behavior.

    ¡°Here is some paperwork you two will need to fill out before you leave, and if you do that first page just right now I can take it to the office and call in to have the pharmacy at the end of the block fill the prescription. With your consent, of course.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll fill that one out.¡± Josh grumbled as he sat up and accepted a clipboard and pen.

    Josh spent longer than normal to fill out the paperwork. He was glad the doctor had stepped out after receiving the prescription form because it was embarrassing enough to have Connor watch him fill out the paperwork slowly and with terrible handwriting. By the time the doctor returned, the paperwork had been filled out and Josh and Connor were ready to leave. They had hardly talked at all during the visit, at least to each other. But when they stepped out of the clinic with a pleasant farewell to the receptionist, that changed.

    ¡°Are you going to be okay with me telling Sara and Margot about that? How you should probably have a lot more damage than you do?¡± Connor asked. Josh was still half hobbling next to him so neither of them had to raise their voice above a casual volume, even with the sounds of the city around them.

    ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡± Josh mumbled. ¡°I¡¯m not entirely sure what it means and I¡¯d like to know. I¡¯d also like to know why I¡¯m having such a hard time keeping my eyes open if I¡¯m not concussed.¡±

    ¡°If I had to guess, I¡¯d say you¡¯re body is losing a lot of energy by trying to make that mark on its own.¡± Connor nudged the marked arm that was hanging over his shoulder. ¡°Notice how the receptionist and the doctor completely ignored it? That means they can¡¯t see it, which means that your mark is genuine. Not fully formed or authentic, but genuine.¡±

    ¡°Are you saying I pirated a bootleg mark in my dreams?¡± Josh chuckled.

    Connor laughed at that. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you did, but it¡¯s probably not great for your health. I think you should probably see if you can¡¯t get it off.¡±

    ¡°When we get to the apartment. I want Margot to see it first at the very least.¡± Josh couldn¡¯t manage to hold much of a conversation after that.

    The dim lights of the city at night lulled his eyes back to a glossy fog. The entire walk to the Benedictine, sleep threatened to overtake him. But he managed to keep his eyes open. He didn¡¯t want Connor to slap him again. And when they finally made it to the elevator, the movement of the small room ascending brought an alertness that carried Josh through the rest of the night¡¯s events.

 Ch.25 Uncomfortable Removal

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen anything like this before, Josh. Never. Not even with a real mark.¡± Margot muttered with her eyes locked on the incomplete mark on Josh¡¯s arm.

    ¡°Is that bad?¡± Josh asked, nervous.

    Margot gave the mark another careful examination before returning it to Josh¡¯s control. ¡°There¡¯s a lot going on here. But at the roots¡­ this doesn¡¯t bode well. A mark isn¡¯t supposed to extend this far, and I can tell it''s a mark because I see what I see with every other mark. You said it was a spiral pattern for you, but I still see my blot pattern. It¡¯s roughed up, but it¡¯s there. And there¡¯s a reason that our marks only extend the length of our forearms.¡±

    ¡°Are you going to tell me that reason?¡± Josh was hesitant to ask, but Margot had stopped talking.

    ¡°Sush.¡± Margot hissed. ¡°I¡¯m trying to figure out how to explain this to you. There¡¯s a lot of background that you don¡¯t have yet that I would have to skip over to explain what I need to.¡±

    After another awkward pause, Sara asked something from across the kitchen island¡ªwhere they were all gathered around¡ªthat scared Josh more than anything argot was saying. ¡°If you¡¯ve decided that this is the path you want to take we could start from the beginning and explain everything. But only if that¡¯s what you want¡­ is it what you want?¡±

    ¡°I¡ªI still don¡¯t know.¡± Josh stammered. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m ever going to forget what I¡¯ve seen. It¡¯s burned into my memory. But from what you¡¯ve all said, it sounds like it would completely change my life forever.¡±

    Connor chimed in, calm and straightforward as always. ¡°I don¡¯t think you can avoid that at this point.¡±

    ¡°Hold on, I think I¡¯ve got it.¡± Margot held out a hand to stop her students from goading Josh any further. ¡°Josh. I¡¯m not going to tell you everything, because you can still change your mind and decide to leave us behind, but I¡¯m going to tell you enough. Just the important things. Is that okay?¡±

    ¡°Just do it. At this point, I¡¯m damned if I do damned if I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Right. At the most basic, all marks are a symbol of power taken from a point outside of reality. And I know that¡¯s a lot to take in, but that¡¯s the biggest thing you¡¯ll have to wrap your head around. Think of it like¡­ a pond. There¡¯s a leaf floating in the water. That leaf is everything you know; everything on earth, the stars and planets and everything in space is contained within that leaf. And then there¡¯s the water, just a surface for our leaf and others to float on and through. It¡¯s hard to explain the water, but it¡¯s there. And all the leaves on the surface, floating around, those are little pockets of reality created by happenstance or intelligence. They can look and behave differently, but outside of them there¡¯s nothing.¡±

    Confronted with a sudden metaphysical discussion, Josh silently pressed his fingertips into his neck and began to massage it. He would have pressed them into his forehead and taken the bonus of hiding his face but the gash in his head was still too fresh for that.

    Margot leaned down to make eye contact with Josh, mostly to make sure he wasn¡¯t dissociating. ¡°I¡¯m going to keep talking, but you can tell me to stop at any time, and I can come back to some topics, but things are about to get simpler. Okay?¡±

    ¡°Keep going.¡± Josh said, shaking his head in disbelief. But the image of the indigo bubbles on the invisible placid surface in his first dream came to mind and he couldn¡¯t deny the similarity.

    ¡°Okay.¡± Margot sat back up and held her hands out in front of her to assist her in speaking. The more gestures she made, the more confident she felt about her explanation. ¡°These marks, the ones that we have and you are copying somehow, come from a different leaf in that metaphor. But one that is stuck on the one that contains the world as you know it. Though, more accurately, this one we are in now was placed intentionally over the one the marks come from. So they are floating through the void in tandem. And the marks, when they are part of us, let us bring some of that power from that other world here.¡±

    Margot stopped there. Josh wasn¡¯t sure if that was the end of her explanation or if she was waiting for him to ask a question. It was awkward for a moment, Josh realized, as all other eyes in the room were focused on him and all he could do was look down at his arm and try to puzzle out how any of what he had just heard could make sense.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t your marks go past the forearm, then?¡± Josh asked, remembering the initial question that had prompted this explanation.

    ¡°This world can only tolerate so much, and these marks defy the rules of this reality. They are confined to just a small part of our body to limit their influence. If we tried to bring more power from that other world to here, either by expanding our marks or changing them altogether, there¡¯s a good chance it could damage us or the world around us in terrifying and unpredictable ways.¡±

    ¡°It would take more energy too¡­ wouldn¡¯t it.¡± Josh mumbled. ¡°Make me feel so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if your lack of energy is because of the size or the haphazard nature of your mark.¡± Margot bit her lip as she paused to better explain where the distinction was. ¡°You see, an active mark is almost like a battery, it fuels the owner in various ways. It doesn¡¯t take energy to use because it gives energy to use. But that¡¯s when one is passed down legitimately. You¡¯ve made your own, and I have no idea how.¡±

    ¡°Well, someone made the first mark, right?¡± Sara asked, her own curiosity pushing her on to take over the questioning. ¡°So, why wouldn¡¯t Josh be able to make his own?¡±

    ¡°Or any of us.¡± Connor added. ¡°Why aren¡¯t there more marks out there for that matter?¡±

    ¡°I wish I knew.¡± Was all Margot could say in response.

    A moment of silent passed as all four individuals at the table pondered what they had learned. Margot thought on how Josh¡¯s incomplete mark could have possibly occurred. Sara and Connor pondered what making a mark from nothing would require. Josh sat and thought about the state his body was in; it felt decrepit and worn, drained of life almost as if he had been the victim of a vampire attack. And as Josh looked down at his arm, his eyes traced the pattern of the mark and then the outlines of the blotches of skin that didn¡¯t match his.

    ¡°What about the rest of this?¡± Josh mumbled his question. It was loud enough to be heard, but devoid of all confidence. ¡°Where the skin doesn¡¯t match.¡±

    ¡°If I had to wager, that has to do with a different part of being marked¡±¡ªMargot was beginning to fidget uncomfortably, twisting her fingers through her short dark hair¡ª¡±called a reset. It¡¯s an opportunity for people with marks to reinvent themselves. Once a mark activates, it leads you to the other world and the nature of that other world allows you to change who you are on a physical level through your mark. Most people become who they feel they really are, or who they want to be. And it is something of a perpetual process, but most don¡¯t really spend too much time changing themselves after the first time. When you do it, it feels like it¡¯s an instinct that guides you. Most people consider their reset bodies a result of fate.¡±

    What Margot was describing was not at all the sort of explanation that Josh was expecting. Not even what he had expected a reset to be. He¡¯d heard her use the term, and guessed that she had been talking about the discoloration in the same context, but what she had just described was beyond anything that Josh was prepared to hear or process internally.

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    ¡°Stop.¡± Josh hadn¡¯t wanted to invoke his privilege to stop the explanation, but he had to get over what a reset was first. Somehow, it was a much bigger hurdle than the leaves in the pond. ¡°You¡¯re going to need to start over on resets. That sounds¡­ impossible.¡±

    To Josh¡¯s surprise it was Connor that accepted his invitation to start the topic over. ¡°Here, maybe. But in the other world, things are a little more fluid. Focused thoughts have about as much power as¡­ well, this.¡±

    Connor lifted a cup off the kitchen island and put it back down in demonstration.

    ¡°How would you know?¡± Josh narrowed his eyes at Connor.

    His testimonial was suspicious. Connor didn¡¯t have an active mark and clearly had never been to this other world, if it even existed. But he spoke as if he already knew how the process worked and what the other world was like.

    ¡°Sorry. You''re right... I haven¡¯t actually been there, but I¡¯ve learned as much as I can; I pestered Margot about it for years before I got my mark. It¡¯s been the biggest focus of my life ever since I found out it was possible.¡± Connor looked a bit sheepish for once. ¡°Being able to reset my body is something that I¡¯ve wanted my entire life.¡±

    Seeing Connor at the kitchen island, surrounded by things he couldn¡¯t have because of his dietary restrictions, and hearing him phrase his desire as he had, made it click for Josh. Of course Connor would want a reset, he could hardly eat anything. Josh had really only see him eat a few very specific types of fruit, chicken, beef, rice, and a few very specific vegetables. Having the opportunity to enjoy the things that all the people around you did was something Josh would have leapt at in a heartbeat if he¡¯d been offered it.

    ¡°Right.¡± Josh whispered, mostly to himself. It didn¡¯t remove the suspicion entirely, but it did remove the suspicion he had of Connor. ¡°So how does resetting play into what¡¯s happening to my arm?¡±

    ¡°I think¡­ think, not know, that maybe it is a fated change for you.¡± Margot let out a long sigh as she paused. ¡°If you choose to receive a mark, and it becomes active, and you are given the chance to reset, you will probably feel drawn towards whatever appearance and form is already creeping through this false mark.¡±

    ¡°If that time ever comes¡­ I¡¯ll have a choice though¡­ right?¡± Josh didn¡¯t like the idea that maybe his body was turning into something else and he had lost control.

    ¡°Of course you¡¯ll have a choice, it¡¯s an active process. You wouldn¡¯t even need to go through a reset if you didn¡¯t want to. It¡¯s just that most people do.¡± Margot waved away the concern easily, but then tacked on, ¡°Not that most people dislike their appearance or hate certain things about themselves they want to change. Its just that your body feels... different after you have an active mark.¡±

    ¡°So, this is safe?¡± Josh¡¯s hand went instinctively to his arm and his fingers pressed up against one of the discolored spots.

    ¡°No. Like I said before I started explaining things, this doesn¡¯t bode well. What you are experiencing is probably too much for your body to handle.¡± Margot had a pained smile on her face as she suggested her solution. ¡°We should remove it.¡±

    It was what Josh had expected since before he¡¯d gone in the apartment and started talking. He had known that removing the mark somehow would probably be the safest choice. He still wanted to test it, if at all possible, to see if the dreams would stop if he left it on. But if it was going to hurt him to have this defective mark on his arm, it would be best not to experiment.

    The trouble was, however, that the mark didn¡¯t seem to be coming off quite so easily as it had before. The first mark that Josh had woken up with had peeled like the dry and flaky dead skin that shows up after a sunburn. This mark seemed to be more attached to Josh¡¯s skin. When he pulled his sleeve up, he could see the point where the mark ended at his shoulder and he could feel the skin itching with discomfort at the false mark and all that it brought with it. It was a little unnerving to have everyone watching as Josh began to pick at and peel away the mark, but they were fascinated. Even as Josh managed to find a lip in his skin that began to peel away a large chunk of the top layer where the mark was, Sara and Connor and Margot were leaning in closer to see how it was working.

    Unfortunately, as Josh began to remove the very top layer of the skin on his arm where the mark had made its home, it began to seethe with pain. Unlike the dry peel of the previous mark, this was a wetter peel; akin to the dead skin that covers blisters and calluses. Josh wasn¡¯t quite ripping his skin off, as it offered little resistance. But it hurt like hell.

    ¡°I can¡¯t do it. It¡­¡± Josh continued to peel, even as he objected. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m bleeding.¡±

    There was no blood, as Sara announced after a close inspection. But she stayed close and offered to hold on to Josh¡¯s left hand so that he had something to squeeze in response to the pain. And that helped, until Josh had made it down to his bicep and the peeling skin had formed almost a sleeve of its own as it came off.

    ¡°I can get you a belt to bite down on, if you want?¡± Connor asked, his face going a little green at the sight of what was happening.

    Josh nodded and Connor disappeared quickly, eager to be out of sight of the display. He came back just as quickly as he''d left, as the morbid curiosity of what was unfolding around him was too much to ignore. He didn¡¯t return to the position he¡¯d had before though. After he handed the belt to Josh, Connor moved to a much less direction viewing position.

    Josh bit down on the folded up leather belt and began to remove more of the marked skin, letting out muffled groans of pain as he did so. When he saw Sara¡¯s eyes start to wander over to the alcohol cabinet, Josh shook his head no and squeezed her hand tighter. The squeeze was answered and the pressure on his arm was comforting enough to let him continue.

    When he made it to the elbow, however, things became much much worse. Josh had more hair on his forearms and the hairs all slipped through the layer of skin that was being pulled free. The feeling was nauseating, as each hair follicle received a tug and Josh could feel the skin slide over the hair as the strength which which it pulled varied. It was at that point, Josh looked pleadingly to Margot.

    Margot understood. She had been in similar situations before, generally much worse ones. Situations where there were three or four people in a tent in the middle of nowhere with a half stocked medical kit and a man with a bullet in his leg. Margot knew the look. She stood up and positioned herself behind Josh and grappled him in place so that he couldn¡¯t move his head or torso. Josh let go of Sara¡¯s hand, grabbed the connected sleeve of dead skin, and pulled as hard as he could like he was ripping off a rubber glove.

    The whole mark came off, leaving Josh¡¯s arm raw and red and a little damp from subcutaneous sweat and small specks of blood that had begun to leak out of the pores in his skin. Josh screamed as the skin came off in a near perfect glove of his arm, spitting out the belt from the shear force of his voice. It was a high pitched shriek. Connor went pale and turned as he began to gag. Sara had had her eyes squeezed shut in anticipation of what she had known was about to happen, and opened them when she¡¯d heard the scream. Margot didn¡¯t let go until Josh dropped the skin on the floor and managed to get a few gasps of air into his mouth.

    ¡°Go lie down, I¡¯ll get some aloe.¡± Margot muttered into Josh¡¯s ear in a gentle and reassuring voice. ¡°Just lie down.¡±

    There was no objection from Josh. His eyes were wet with tears and he was breathing hard. His whole arm felt like an open wound as he collapsed on the kitchen floor. Still awake, still in pain, but no longer as tired as he had been. No longer as deeply pained either. His insides felt like they had come back to an agreement at just the perfect time for a wave of pain induced nausea to flood him from head to gut. Thankfully Sara was already there with a small trashcan from the study to offer when Josh lurched up and began to vomit.

    ¡°There is something¡­ so psychologically wrong with what just happened.¡± Connor murmured. ¡°I feel like I just witnessed a murder.¡±

    ¡°Me too.¡± Sara said with a confused sigh. ¡°But it was the right thing.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Connor agreed, though his tone didn¡¯t. ¡°How do you feel?¡±

    ¡°I feel¡­ like a raw nerve.¡± Josh answered through gasped breathing. The taste of vomit was still fresh in his mouth and he didn¡¯t dare move away from the trashcan.

    Margot walked quickly back into the kitchen with gauze,  a bottle of aloe vera, and a handful of cotton balls. ¡°Hold still.¡± She ordered as she began to apply the aloe on Josh¡¯s arm with the white wads of cotton. It stung like crazy, but Josh wasn¡¯t about to move a muscle; both because he knew that moving his arm, especially bending it, would hurt much worse, and because he wasn¡¯t about to disobey Margot¡¯s order. The way she had said it made Josh feel like she knew exactly what she was doing, and she certainly carried out her task with the same attitude and efficiency. It wasn¡¯t long before Josh¡¯s whole arm was covered in soothing aloe gel and wrapped in a double layer of gauze. Even his fingers, which had lost a layer of skin in the final pull were obscured from his view under the bandaging.

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Josh muttered. ¡°And if you don¡¯t mind¡­ I¡¯d like to sleep on the bed tonight.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all yours.¡± Margot chuckled.

    Josh didn¡¯t move after that. He¡¯d passed out from the mixture of pain and exhaustion that had wrecked his body over the course of the night. And as the very first glints of morning light crept through the window of the penthouse, Margot and Connor carefully lifted Josh¡¯s limp, unconscious body and laid him down on the bed in the guest room.

 The Expanse (Basics)

    There are many worlds in the infinite cosmos. To call them worlds, however, is a shortcoming. They are all distinct pockets of separate reality. They are governed by different laws, contain different types of existence, and they all float in the expanse.

    The expanse is, as one might aptly guess, a limitless expanse of void. To perceive it in its raw form is to invite madness. All those that see a semblance of it, much like marks of possibility, see it differently; though the nature of it remains more or less consistent.

    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    The expanse, technically, contains no matter and simultaneously all matter. The spaces between each reality are empty, and yet the expanse contains those empty spaces and the pockets of tangible reality as well.

    One cannot simply traverse the expanse, as attempting to enter the empty space of the expanse would create a new small pocket of reality and prevent you from entering it properly. It can, however, be viewed.

    Each pocket of reality is more or less tangible in the expanse, and two or more pockets can collide. When this happens, they either drift apart again or stick together. When the latter happens, one pocket is hypothetically capable of absorbing the other.

 Ch.26 Uncomfortable Preparation

    Josh awoke, not quite refreshed, but clear headed at the very least. His arm still raw as though he¡¯d peeled back a blister across the length of his entire limb. But it didn¡¯t hurt as badly as he had expected. The aloe helped, and the bandages had prevented him from getting blood all over the bedding in the guest room. The gauze needed to be changed. Josh could see blotches of dark brown that had spread through the cotton fibers, and the whole limb seemed to be scratchy from a crust of dried blood that made it uncomfortable to move the whole thing. Sleep had been good though.

    How Josh had ended up on the actual bed that he¡¯d said he would take was a mystery. To him at least. It was an interesting thing to go unconscious in one location and wake up in another. Startling, almost. Disorienting, definitely. But the surroundings of the guest bedroom in the penthouse were not strange to him and the familiarity helped to calm him down as he shifted incrementally back into full consciousness.

    For once, Josh knew what day it was. It felt like it had been weeks since he had been certain of the time. But he hadn¡¯t slept for that long. It was Sunday morning, and his meeting with Gul was imminent. With that thought in mind, Josh carefully swung his feet down to the floor and put weight on them for the first time in what felt like days. They weren¡¯t eager for the effort, but they cooperated; which was a relief. Staring out the day by needing help to get out of bed would have tainted the rest of the day to be sure. Still, Josh couldn¡¯t help but feel a gnawing sense anxiety as he thought about what lay ahead of him.

    As Josh walked out to the open common area of the apartment, he realized that for once he was the first one awake. Or appeared to be. No one else was making noise in the apartment. Bedroom doors were closed, the study space and kitchen were empty, and Margot¡ªwho had fallen asleep on the couch¡ªwasn¡¯t reacting to his presence in the living room area. So, as Josh made his way to the kitchen, he did so quietly. He needed three things, the aloe from the night before, the gauze, and whatever tape he could find¡ªJosh didn¡¯t feel confident that he could tie off the gauze as cleanly as Margot had without tape.

    All three items were acquired and Josh tip toed back to the guest bedroom for his overnight bag. At least, he assumed it was there. Josh couldn¡¯t¡¯ quite remember where he¡¯d placed it when he and Connor had arrived at the apartment. In fact, there were several things he couldn¡¯t remember about the night before. The bag was there by the door to the bedroom, on the floor where it was clearly visible, though it seemed to have a new weight to it now that Josh couldn¡¯t only haul it with one arm.

    ¡°I guess I get the shower first¡­¡± Josh mumbled to himself.

    The bathroom was empty, no one else was up, and Josh could smell himself now. That was a bad sign.

    Peeling off the gauze was the worst part. The skin had healed enough that it wasn¡¯t as bad as it could have been, but the gauze still stuck to the dried blood and came off with a familiar peeling sensation that made Josh gag. What didn¡¯t peel off with the gauze cracked as Josh bent his arm to test it¡¯s recovery. If he¡¯d been smart he would have taken a plastic bag into the bathroom so that he could cover his arm while he showered and then clean it off on its own. That isn¡¯t to imply that Josh was stupid. Just clueless when it came to matters of physical injury; he¡¯d never broken a bone, had a cut deep enough to scar, or ever needed to go to the ER for any reason. And while it was stupid to let his oozing arm soak, it felt good while it lasted. And it was nice to be clean.

    It wasn¡¯t until Josh attempted to dry off that he realized that he¡¯d made a terrible mistake. Even patting his arm dry was excruciating, and it was incredibly difficult to dry his right arm without moving his left around around. And the soap had not been kind to his left arm once it had begun to dry. The already sore skin was drying out and cracking. Even when he¡¯d gotten aloe over his arm, Josh still felt the dry ache of skin ready to split.

    But that was just the worst part. Once his arm was wrapped in gauze again it felt like Josh was being held together and the soft pressure was soothing. The covering of his arm also eased the pain and allowed Josh to relax his body, undoing a problem he hadn¡¯t even realized he was experiencing. His shoulders and back had been tensed in anticipation of pain, but felt the relief of dropping a weight. And with his body relaxed, Josh began to hear the sounds of life outside of the bathroom.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re doing better.¡±

    Sara was waiting outside the bathroom door with a smile, looking a little frumpy from sleep and with a bundle of fresh clothes in her arms.

    ¡°Me too. Arm¡¯s a bit wrecked still, but I think I¡¯m doing much better.¡± Josh couldn¡¯t help but smile. IT was like hearing that someone else cared about him was the final signal of relief that he needed to truly relax.

    Something Josh had set made Sara cringe, but there was still a smile buried in her expression. ¡°About that¡­ your arm¡­ Connor¡­ you should probably just go talk to Connor. He tends to eat before he gets cleaned up for the day.¡±

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    Unclear of what exactly Sara was talking about, Josh turned to the open half of the apartment to find Connor about where he expected. At the kitchen counter. But between Josh and Connor, like an odd road block, was Margot. The supposedly older woman was situated in the middle of the apartment, performing some kind of levitating stretch that kept most of her mass hovering just off the ground. It took Josh a moment to realize that her fists were planted on the ground, knuckle down, and she was essentially just doing over-complicated push-ups.

    ¡°Glad to see you up and moving.¡± Margot grunted as Josh walked by. ¡°If your arms wasn¡¯t as bad as it is, I¡¯d have you doing some light exercise and some basic self-defense training. You can never be too careful when you¡¯re going out to meet new people.¡±

    ¡°Right. Maybe you can show me something in a bit.¡± Josh wasn¡¯t entirely sure where to start asking questions with that small snippet of information and decided not to ask anything instead.

    ¡°Connor, Sara says you wanted to talk to me about my¡­¡±

    Connor had looked up as son as Margot started talking, and Josh had noticed him move around the kitchen area to retrieve something. Before Josh could finish asking his question, Connor tossed a plastic gallon bag in his direction. The need to catch something being thrown at him stopped the question in its tracks, but the moment Josh realized what was in the bag he regretted even beginning to ask the question in the first place. For, as Josh quickly realized, inside the plastic bag was the preserved sleeve of skin that Josh had removed from his arm the night before.

    ¡°It¡¯s disgusting.¡± Connor nodded in agreement with Josh¡¯s unspoken disgust. ¡°But it¡¯s not decaying, not drying out, and if we throw that in the garbage and someone finds it there will probably be police involved.¡±

    Josh nearly gagged. The combination of sheer gruesomeness and the psychological horror that had driven him to remove that part of his body were almost too much. ¡°Well, what do ou expect me to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Bury it, burn it, keep it as a souvenir? Just don¡¯t show it to anyone.¡±

    ¡°You think it would¡­¡± Josh couldn¡¯t bring himself to actually stomach the idea of what he was insinuating. That the out of control mark he had removed could be seen and used by someone else.

    Connor cringed but nodded. ¡°I would imagine there are people that could and would use that for the wrong reasons. Not that anyone besides the four of us knows that it exists. Which, it should stay that way. This isn¡¯t a secret to share with anyone else.¡±

    ¡°Except Gul. If they ask about it.¡± Margot interjected. ¡°They already know a bit about your mark anyway, and they¡¯ll want to either see it or hear what happened to it.¡±

    ¡°Have they decided on an exact time and place to meet?¡± Josh hazarded the question that he had been silently dreading all morning.

    Margot let out a sigh as she nodded and explained. ¡°They want to meet at precisely eleven fifteen, outside the front door to the Charming Cat Cafe. I¡¯m familiar with the location but¡­ for the life of me I have no idea why they want to meet there.¡±

    Josh tilted his head as he tried to dredge his memory for a piece of information about the cafe. It sounded familiar. ¡°Is that the place with the guy out front in cat ears that passes out fliers all day?¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡± Margot groaned.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m out.¡± Connor sighed. ¡°I¡¯m not setting foot in a place with cat hair all over it.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Josh turned to Connor, perplexed for some reason that the man who seemed to be allergic or intolerant to everything was also allergic to cats.

    ¡°Cats, horses, and long haired dogs.¡± Connor confirmed, a more humored expression on his face than when he explained his dietary restrictions. ¡°Lucky for me, I don¡¯t need to worry about eating them. Just the hair.¡±

    ¡°How are you even alive?¡± Josh joked, He felt bad about it almost immediately after.

    Connor didn¡¯t seem fazed by the inconsiderate jab. ¡°I ask myself that question every day.¡±

    Margot chuckled at the comment, as if agreeing for some yet unknown reason, before trying to bring the conversation back to a serious point. ¡°I don¡¯t think they would want us in the meeting anyway. If fact, they¡¯ve probably rented out the entire cafe for your meeting. We¡¯ll be waiting close by, of course, in case things¡­ go sideways.¡±

    ¡°Hold on. You¡¯ve kind of hinted at this sort of thing before. What do you mean by go sideways?¡± Josh hadn¡¯t really been in a position to ask that question yet. He had wanted to, but the conversation had always been interrupted by something more urgent or relevant. ¡°Are you saying that Gul¡¯s going to attack me? Is that why you wanted to run me through a self defense lesson?¡±

    ¡°As¡­ odd as Gul is, I don¡¯t think they¡¯ll attack you.¡± Margot hesitated before actually answering the question she had been asked. She clearly had been avoiding it for some time now. ¡°But there are people that hunt marked individuals¡­ actively. And Gul is something of a high value target for them. It¡¯s not very safe for them¡­ for Gul to spend a lot of time out in the open. I¡¯m kind of at risk as well. It¡¯s why I use burner phones and don¡¯t stay in one place very often anymore. After my mark was activated, I hid in the military, but even then they found me and very nearly killed me. So you might get caught up in the crossfire if there is¡­ well¡­ a crossfire.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re saying I might get shot?¡±

    Margot answered in a mumble of, ¡°Not necessarily¡­¡±

    ¡°You might get stabbed or hit over the head with a rock.¡± Connor chuckled.

    ¡°And you¡¯re laughing?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Because we¡¯ll get killed first if anything happens.¡±

    ¡°We will be waiting outside the cafe,¡± Margot corrected. ¡°So if something does happen, we will face any risk first. Which should be at least a mild reassurance.¡±

    ¡°And,¡± Sara chimed in as she leaned into the main room of the apartment, a towel wrapped around what was visible of her torso. ¡°If we die, there¡¯s not much point in carrying on with this whole thing, is there?¡±

    Margot¡¯s glare shifted from Connor to Sara as she let out a deep sigh. It was clear there was no getting around the information she had not wanted to introduce directly. Josh could see the conflicting desire to share more with him and the desire to gently walk him through everything he should know. But there was nothing she could truly say to ease his mind at that moment.

    ¡°Put some clothes on, girl.¡± Margot snapped. ¡°And you, Connor Square up. You¡¯re going to help me demonstrate some self defense maneuvers. Watch closely, Josh.¡±

 The Real and Abstract Worlds

    Of all the realities that exist within the expanse, two in particular are of concern. Neither has a proper name, as defining such a thing as a reality gets quite complicated, but are often called the abstract world and the "real" world.

    The abstract world was created first, and the "real" world was created shortly after. The two realities experience an uncommon amount of overlap, like two leaves stuck together on the surface of a body of water. This is due to the nature of the creation of the "real" world, as it ballooned into existence almost on top of the abstract world.

    The laws that govern the two worlds are similar, though those in the abstract world are more flexible. Put simply, the abstract world has all the same laws of governance but they can be selectively opted out of. Moreover, with enough focus, they can be ignored altogether to achieve desired outcomes. Marks of possibility are key to this, as they are both native to the abstract world and the tools by which beings that reside there overcome the laws that govern it. They, in essence, allow each resident of the world to act in the same capacity as the being that created it; though, perhaps to a lesser degree.

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    The "real" world has a makeup much like the world that you live in. Though, of course, it is tainted with the presence of beings from the abstract world.

    Due to the overlapping, beings can cross between the two worlds. The bridges between them, however, are largely controlled by the abstract world and kept very well hidden. Only someone that knows exactly where to look and what to do, or has the guidance of an activated mark, can find them.

 Ch.27 Gul

    Everything on the narrow street outside the Charming Cat Cafe looked perfectly normal. Even the cafe itself, strange as it was, looked inconspicuous. A young man, probably in his early twenties, was standing outside the establishment and handing out fliers. He was wearing a headband with black cat ears on it that almost seemed to look natural as the color matched his short and messy hair. Everything looked exactly like Josh remembered it the last time he¡¯d walked down this street. Only now he was the weird thing in the picture. His arm and forehead were still bandaged and he was flanked by Margot and Sara, while Connor trailed behind and looked over the top of everyone¡¯s heads at the various other pedestrians. They moved like a small security detail, which felt strange to Josh. It was like he had bodyguards.

    Since it had been explained to him that Gul was something of a valuable individual, Josh half expected to see bulky men in black suits waiting outside the cafe. But he felt like the only thing that stood out.

    ¡°Time?¡± Margot asked as they came to a stop a few feet away from the man handing out fliers.

    ¡°Twelve past.¡± Sara answered after a quick check of her watch.

    Josh performed a quick scan of the other pedestrians in the area, looking for someone matching Gul¡¯s unusual description. A complete lack of body hair might have sounded out of place initially, but Josh quickly realized that it would be almost impossible to recognize someone from that trait alone in a crowd, even a small one.

    Margot, noticing Josh¡¯s nervous searching, put a reassuring hand on his good shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about finding them. They¡¯ll be here exactly when they said. Just steel yourself for when they do.¡±

    ¡°Right. Steel myself.¡± Josh muttered to himself, the recitation did nothing to calm his ever increasing nerves. ¡°Where are you guys going to hold up while I¡¯m in there?¡±

    ¡°Sweets shop across the street?¡± Sara shrugged as she gave her own answer, but the response of ¡°back alley¡± and ¡°corner bodega over there¡± overlapped her.

    ¡°How about I watch the back of the cafe, while you two stay out front?¡± Margot said with a quiet sigh. ¡°If anything goes down, it probably won¡¯t be an armed assault from the street. So you¡¯ll all be safer in a more public space.¡±

    ¡°You better get back there then, it looks like they¡¯re here.¡± Connor said quietly as he nodded his head off in the direction of the opposite side of the street.

    ¡°Good eye, Connor.¡± Margot whispered before rushing off towards a side street.

    There was no further advice or instruction given. Margot merely disappeared. Josh had been distracted by the indication of their anticipated contact, and hadn¡¯t even seen Margot vanish into the gentle flow of pedestrians. But what Josh did see was the nonchalant approach of of a small group of four people that were keeping in a tight pack.

    Two of the group looked almost exactly alike; men in their twenties with short sandy blond hair, both on the the taller side, but not the tallest of the group, and both with the same lightly tanned skin and vibrant blue eyes¡ªJosh was surprised he could even discern the color from so far away, but that only spoke to their potency. The shortest of the four looked to be a girl, possibly in her teens, perhaps older¡ªJosh had to pause and think about ascribing an age based on appearance after learning how irrelevant the aging of marked individuals was¡ªher face was partially obscured by messy, thick black hair; the only other distinguishing trait Josh could see from across the street was that she had a wide frame, though she didn¡¯t actually look big. The last of the four stuck out the most to Josh, and it was for the exact reason he thought he wouldn¡¯t have been able to recognize them. The final member of the group was a tall androgynous individual, well over six foot tall, fair skin, and glaringly bald. The baldness wouldn¡¯t have stood out so much, were it not for their pale white skin contrasting with the black hoodie pulled up casually over half of their head. Josh dared not make any other assumptions about them.

    A short walk up the street put Josh right next to the androgynous individual as the door to the cafe was held open for them by the man handing out fliers. Gul, or at least Josh was pretty sure that it was Gul, stepped aside and gestured for him to enter first.

    Josh didn¡¯t want to be the one to talk first, it felt strange to introduce himself to a total stranger. But as Gul stepped through the door and led him to a booth in the otherwise empty cafe, it became clear that this was not going to proceed as he had expected.

    There were a dozen cats roaming freely throughout the main serving room of the cafe, but the building smelled surprisingly nice. Even better, the cats all seemed well behaved and not at all bothered by new customers entering their space. They were a surprise, it was a cat cafe after all, but it was definitely not the atmosphere that Josh had anticipated. It was actually quite calming, even though Josh wasn¡¯t particularly fond of cats or pets in general.

    Without a word spoken, a charming young woman behind a small counter near the door offered both Josh and Gul a nod and made her way over to pass out menus. Two cats followed behind her and lingered at the foot of the table after she made her leave.

    Josh couldn¡¯t take it anymore.

    ¡°Please say something.¡±

    ¡°You have no idea how strong the impulse to reply with ¡®something¡¯ and nothing else is. It must be a human instinct to toy with pitiable things.¡±

    Gul¡¯s voice was mild and methodical. Their words were evenly paced, and their tone was as androgynous as Josh expected. They spoke like a scientist observing a lab rat; at least, Josh felt like a lab rat under their careful eyes.

    ¡°Ooh¡­ no.¡± Josh said with mortified sigh. ¡°This was a bad idea.¡±

    Gul, unexpectedly, chuckled in response. ¡°You were expecting nothing but business, I take it. But I hope you can forgive me for practicing my ability to socialize; I do not get to do so often.¡±

    ¡°My life has been turned inside out over the course of a week. I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t feel like I can socialize.¡±

    ¡°I forgive you.¡± Gul responded in a dull voice. ¡°Would you like to eat at all? Perhaps hold a cat? I understand they can be quite calming.¡±

    Gul, as they spoke, reached down to the side of the table and hefted one of the trained cats that had followed the hostess. In a somewhat clumsy movement, the cat was placed on their lap. The beast seemed to sense something was odd about Gul, but didn¡¯t jump to freedom. It stayed put on their lap and purred quietly, but was otherwise frozen in place.

    ¡°Fascinating.¡± Gul muttered under their breath.

    ¡°I think¡­¡± Josh glanced down at the menu. ¡°I¡¯ll have a drink when the hostess comes back. But can we talk about this?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not an almanac, but I realize that you have questions¡­ and I would like to know a few things myself.¡± Gul motioned for the hostess to come back without looking away from Josh. ¡°I think I will try an espresso. I don¡¯t now what that is, but it sounds exciting.¡±

    ¡°What can I get you two?¡± The hostess seemed to have just missed Gul¡¯s mention of espresso, or, if not, was being polite.

    ¡°I would like an espresso¡­ and some of these¡­ biscuits.¡±

    ¡°Alright, espresso and¡­ biscotti?¡±

    ¡°Is that how you pronounce it? That makes sense. Yes. Biscotti.¡±

    ¡°And for you, sir?¡±

    The hostesses address of sir for Josh and no initial address to Gul was not lost on Josh. ¡°Lemon ginger tea, please.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get that right to you,¡± the hostess said with a strained smile. ¡°Make yourselves comfortable.¡±

    Josh nodded politely and Gul mimicked the gesture nearly identically. For a moment there was a careful silence at the booth, with the only noticeable sound coming from purring cats.

    Gul was the first to speak. ¡°Do you mind if I see under your bandages? I wasn¡¯t aware that your mark had spread to your cranium.¡±

    ¡°My¡­¡± Josh¡¯s hand went to the bandages on his head. ¡°No, this is from when I smashed my head into a pipe¡­ It¡¯s a long story.¡±

    ¡°Joshua, everything is a long story. I wish I had time to hear all of them, but today I came here to hear your long story.¡±

    ¡°You heard about the dreams, right?¡±

    ¡°Margot told me about that, yes.¡±

    ¡°The last time it happened, I couldn¡¯t wake up. I thought I could force myself awake, and it worked. I had been sleepwalking though, so it didn¡¯t go as painlessly as I had intended.¡±

    ¡°Vivid dreaming is common among marked peoples; somnambulism less so, but still more common than with unmarked peoples.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t had a dream since then, though. Margot says that¡¯s because being around more marked people has been protecting me. I still think it might be because I¡¯ve got a minor concussion.¡±

    ¡°Would you like me to check to see if you have a concussion?¡±

    ¡°Are you a doctor?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Then no.¡± Josh paused as he remembered that he had been told that Gul would be more particular and demanding of his respect. They seemed to have completely forgotten to introduce themselves and Josh¡¯s attitude didn¡¯t seem to be bothering them.

    ¡°You¡¯re worried about something.¡±

    Something about the abruptness of the statement caught Josh off guard. He didn¡¯t feel like he¡¯d been all that expressive, and he was pretty sure that Gul wasn¡¯t a mind reader. But they had still picked up on his confusion and quickly developed anxiety almost immediately.

    ¡°My apologies.¡± Gul frowned mechanically as they spoke. ¡°I believe you were told things about me and I am flouting your expectations. But, frankly, I expected you to hear enough about me that I could focus on my investigation of you rather than my own introduction. I am practicing being less self-centered.¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t help but curl his lip in frustration at the way this meeting was going. Gul was every bit as odd as he had been told, but not in the ways he had specifically been warned about. The lack of hair was easy enough to get over after a little bit, though Josh found himself glancing about at Gul¡¯s various physical features whenever he felt he¡¯d been holding eye contact for too long and it began to grow awkward. Gul seemed to be almost perfectly generic, despite their obvious strangeness.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Josh said with a heavy exhale. ¡°I just, I guess I just expected things to be more¡­¡±

    When Gul realized that Josh couldn¡¯t find the word he was looking for, they pitched in with ¡°Satisfying. Perhaps you expected I would have all the answers to your questions and that I would tell you everything you wanted to know."

    "Yeah, I guess that''s it."

    "But I am not a satisfying person. I consider myself to never be satisfied with anything, not until I have explored everything there is to know about something. Perhaps you heard an anecdote about my choice in form from Margot. But maybe she didn¡¯t mention that I didn¡¯t choose to exist this way without trying all of my other options first.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ a lot of trying options.¡± Josh had to swallow hard to center himself. He didn¡¯t know how else to reply to that kind of information. It wasn¡¯t exactly the kind of thing people just talk about out of the blue.

    ¡°And I''m still trying options. Like this skin tone. It is slightly too white for my liking now that I see it in the light of your world." Gul seemed distracted as they glanced down at themselves, but quickly refocused. "But, I¡¯m here because I want to learn; not because I want to continue my testing or teach you or advise you on your life decisions. But I¡¯m willing to trade information for information.¡±

    With a slow nod, Josh began to dredge his mind for the questions he desperately wanted answered but had fled from thought.

    ¡°I would still like to see your arm, if that¡¯s all right with you?¡± Gul¡¯s thin and hairless brow furrowed as they leaned forward across the table.

    Josh was about to unravel a portion of bandage over his arm when the hostess returned with a small platter carrying tea cups and a plate of pastries. She offered a silent scrunched expression at the sight of Josh¡¯s bandaged arm, as though she had just noticed that he was injured, but didn¡¯t actually comment on it. Josh was grateful for both the sympathy and the discretion.

    As soon as the hostess left their booth, Gul leaned back over the table to get a better look. Not wanting to draw too much attention, Josh held his hand out over the table instead so that Gul didn¡¯t have to lean forward so far. And, careful no to agitate the skin beneath, Josh began to unravel the bandage that ended around his wrist. He was grateful that he had separated it into segments, as unraveling any of the bandage on his hand would make a tangled mess that would be hard to get back in place.

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°Fascinating.¡± Gul muttered as they fixed their eyes on the still dewy sheen of Josh¡¯s arm; it hadn¡¯t had much time to heal since he had wrapped it, but it felt better. ¡°So you removed it. And it looks like it took a significant amount of skin with it.¡±

    ¡°That makes two times I¡¯ve removed a mark. The first time it was like a temporary tattoo and it peeled off like a sunburn. Just the top layer, and the skin was dried out so it came off easy. The first time, the skin under the mark got blotchy, like¡­ like that one skin condition.The only thing that¡¯s coming to mind is alopecia, and I don¡¯t mean that¡­¡±

    ¡°Vitiligo?¡±

    ¡°Yes. That. Blotches of skin in a different tone, lighter than mine. And that all peeled off too. But the second time it all happened, I¡¯d woken up from a nightmare and it was like it was a real mark. It was solid, fingertip to shoulder, and the skin was completely different. All lighter toned, it was like I was wearing a sleeve.¡±

    ¡°Interesting.¡± Gul muttered with a nod as they beckoned for Josh to hold out his hand. ¡°And the lighter skin? That came off with the mark both times?¡±

    Josh let Gul take his hand and watched carefully as they pulled it closer to them. There was a shrewd sort of analytical focus to Gul as they looked closely at the skin. But Josh carried on, as if trying not to make a big deal about what Gul was doing. It seemed like the simplest way to move forward.

    ¡°Yeah. Like it was part of it.¡±

    ¡°And your dreams,¡± Gul bit their lip in, what Josh thought looked like, excitement. ¡°Every time you had one of these dreams, it was linked to an instance of a mark appearing?¡±

    ¡°Yes. It happened three times, actually. But the first time, the mark went away on its own.¡±

    ¡°But you had the mark in the dreams first, and then they came with you when you woke up?¡±

    Josh sat back, incidentally pulling his hand free from Gul¡¯s grip in the process, and tilted his head down in thought. He hadn¡¯t thought about it like that before. Had they come with him from his dreams. Dreams weren¡¯t real though, they didn¡¯t have form, they were just thoughts. But the marks had appeared on him in dreams and then been there when he¡¯d woken up. He had always thought they had just appeared, that he¡¯d done it to himself somehow because of his dreams. But what if they had followed him like they had a separate intelligence?

    ¡°I don¡¯t know? I was aware of them in the dreams, but I don¡¯t know when they showed up on my arm.¡±

    Josh took a sip of tea to calm himself. It was delicious and the steam wafting off the top of the liquid was soothing as it swept over his face.

    ¡°That is a test I would be eager to hear the results of¡­¡± Gul muttered, more to themselves than to Josh. ¡°If you are willing, I would ask you to perform an experiment. Fall asleep away from Margot¡¯s safety, and the presence of her students, but have them nearby so that they can observe you in the midst of one of these dreams. I would like to know when the mark appears.¡±

    Josh frowned at the possibility of enduring another dream. They had only gotten worse the more he¡¯d experienced them. But learning how it worked could help unravel how it worked and why it was happening. That Gul wanted to know the same things didn¡¯t matter as much to Josh, but if he did experiment with it he might as well tell them any results.

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it.¡± Josh said with a nod. ¡°But it¡¯s only gotten worse each time I dream.¡±

    ¡°That is something else I¡¯d like to know more about. These dreams. I understand that you¡¯ve said there was something else in them. Some kind of other presence. Describe it to me.¡±

    Josh took another gulp of tea and let out a long slow breath before offering his description. ¡°The first time, the first dream, I was in a bubble. Not a big one, just like a small room. And I reached out of it to touch another bubble, and an arm reached out of that bubble to grab hold of mine. It was¡­ wrong. I don¡¯t know how else to describe it. It had a different mark on it¡­ Actually. That first time. That first time when I reached out of my bubble, my own arm changed then too. The mark had been clear, the skin had been different, and the color of the mark was¡­ shiny, somehow.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll come back to that... probably. Tell me about the other mark and the thing that had it on its arm.¡±

    The way that Gul said ¡®thing¡¯ felt strange to Josh. It felt like they were familiar with whatever it was, at least a little.

    ¡°It had a human silhouette, but the skin was grayish and damp. The mark looked like¡­ like. I drew it actually, when it was fresh in my mind I drew it.¡±

    Josh began to rummage through his backpack. He¡¯d almost completely forgotten it was still strapped to his back. The only things in it were loose junk paper and the one notebook, but it felt like he had to really dig to get his hands on the notebook. As soon as he did manage to hold on to it, he ripped it free of the backpack and held it out while he flipped to the proper page.

    Gul hummed while they looked at the crude drawing Josh had made while delirious. ¡°How accurate would you say this is?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ uh, not an artist. So it¡¯s not great. But I still get chills when I look at it.¡±

    ¡°Joshua, seeing this makes me uncomfortable.¡± Gul closed and pushed the notebook back across the table to Josh. ¡°This is the first time I¡¯ve seen something like that before. And, as you know, marks look the same to everyone but everyone sees them differently. But I have heard it described before, just as you saw it; or nearly like this, at least. I heard it from someone else, who, in turn, had heard it from a secondary source.¡±

    ¡°Do you know anything else about it?¡± Josh was suddenly very hopeful. He hadn¡¯t expected Gul to know about this other mark, but it was at the heart of his deepest fears and any information could be a comfort.

    ¡°I have a hypothesis,¡± Gul said with a hum, as if trying to decide whether or not they were willing to share it. ¡°You are aware that this reality, this universe, is one of a near infinite amount, yes?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, like leaves floating in a pond.¡±

    Gul nodded encouragingly, ¡°yes. An apt metaphor you no doubt heard from Margot. I explained it to her just so when she was undergoing a process similar to what you are undertaking now. She witnessed me passing a mark on to someone else, much the same way you witnessed her passing a mark on to Sara. But there are some things Margot would not know, or would not be able to tell you about the other reality from which these marks stem, because I have not told her.¡±

    Gul paused amid their explanation. They took a sip of their espresso and nibbled on a biscotti. There was still a clear air of indecision about them, as if they had a ready answer but were unwilling to share it. But something clicked. Amid the chewing of food and the sipping of coffee, Gul reached a decision.

    ¡°That world and this one, they overlap a great deal.¡± They let out a deep sigh, hesitation still in them but being forcibly shoved to the side. ¡°The cause of this I would only explain to you in a place where I feel absolutely safe to do so. But the important information here, is that our two worlds are different worlds. They are overlapped, but they are distinctly separate. They form a clot of sorts in the fabric of existence. A clot which occasionally becomes clumped with other smaller pockets of abstract and foreign reality; other different and separate places and things that graze the outsides of our conjoined worlds. The majority of these small pockets are subsumed by either your home reality or mine, but some remain attached and dormant to the point where we cannot detect them. And I suspect you have made contact with one such pocket.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m not the first.¡± Josh muttered to himself.

    ¡°I suspect not. Though if it is the same pocket of space and the same being within it, what you have made contact with is far more ancient than nearly anything I have ever heard of.¡±

    ¡°Are you telling me I¡¯ve established some sort of connection with an evil ancient monster?¡±

    ¡°Not at all.¡± Gul frowned as they spoke. The expression was more confused than unhappy, but verged on frustration; not at Josh, but at an inability to communicate. ¡°It is hard to tell you what I¡¯m trying to now; communication is so limited here. But I can tell you it isn¡¯t evil. If it makes sense, I would call it different. Uncomfortable. Even among people from our world, there are stranger ways of existing that are alien to us, that confound us and instill fear in our minds as a defensive instinct. I don¡¯t think any mind, regardless of where it originates, is equipped to handle understanding an existence that is purely alien.¡±

    Josh wanted to ask so many questions, but there was only one that he needed answered right then and there. ¡°How do I get rid of it?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d love to answer that question, but I can¡¯t.¡± Gul shrugged. ¡°But I¡¯m sure there are other questions you have, I still have plenty of my own.¡±

    ¡°What about the dreams themselves. Those are kind of normal for marked people, right? Why am I getting them without a mark?¡±

    ¡°No clue.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ what about the skin change?¡±

    ¡°That could be any number of things. Marks are complex and reflect the person they become part of, indelibly linked to their entire existence. I¡¯d wager, and I could be completely wrong, that when you became aware of marks your fate changed entirely. Consequently, you are only just now feeling a connection to your new future. And your future identity is asserting itself in the past as a means of self-defense.¡±

    Gul¡¯s explanation didn¡¯t make any real sense to Josh. The words themselves were words, and they kind of conveyed an idea, but it didn¡¯t process. It sounded like Gul was suggesting some kind of time travel was at play, but also not.

    ¡°Okay. That¡¯s one theory I guess. Whatever that actually means.¡± Josh grumbled out the words with his face in his hands. The closeness of his wrist to his face reminded him that his arm was partially exposed and the bandage was unraveling slightly. ¡°You didn¡¯t have any more tests or observations to make about my arm, did you?¡±

    ¡°Just a question.¡± Gul pulled back their own sleeve on their left arm to reveal their own mark. ¡°The last mark you removed, it went across more of your arm than this? Finger tip to shoulder, you said?¡±

    Josh¡¯s eyes passed over the mark on Gul¡¯s arm, with only mild curiosity at first, but one quick observation led to another. Gul¡¯s mark seemed to encompass less of their arm than Josh seemed to remember Margot¡¯s and Sara¡¯s and Connor¡¯s. What was stranger was that the spiral pattern on Gul''s arm, the one Josh had seen several times up that point, had a slight wobble to it. It was still the same mark, Josh could tell from the way that he felt when he saw it. But there was something wrong about Gul, something different that went far beyond their odd lack of hair and androgynous persona.

    ¡°Joshua?¡± Gul tilted their head to the side, their expression hollow and curious.

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah. Yes. All the way up my arm.¡± Josh took that as the cue that he didn''t need to keep his arm exposed and began to wrap it back up.

    ¡°The same pattern?¡±

    ¡°The same spiral I see on your arm.¡± Josh was going to leave it at that, but then he corrected himself as he thought about it. ¡°Actually, it didn¡¯t have the bands at the top and bottom. At least not that I saw. But, I mean, there wasn¡¯t really a top and bottom to it.¡±

    ¡°Of course, of course.¡± Gul said easily, nodding as if it were the most natural conclusion in the world. ¡°A spiral, you said?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, four lines that spiral around the arm from the bottom band up to the top.¡± Josh wasn¡¯t sure if it was appropriate to ask what Gul saw, but it felt like the right follow up. ¡°What does the mark look like to you, if you don¡¯t mind sharing?¡±

    Gul didn¡¯t respond right away. They pulled their arm in close to them and looked down to it like it was a baby being held close to their chest. A gentle stroke of their fingers across the marked skin seemed to snap them back to reality.

    ¡°Stars. The way stars look up close. As I said before. It¡¯s difficult to explain some things with the limits of the languages here.¡±

    ¡°That sounds¡­ fascinating.¡±

    Gul¡¯s comment had caught Josh off guard and he didn¡¯t know how else to respond. ¡®Fascinating¡¯ definitely wasn¡¯t the word that he wanted to use. ¡®Creepy¡¯ was, but he couldn¡¯t just say that.

    ¡°You find it unnerving. That¡¯s fine.¡± Gul muttered.

    Josh was about to open his mouth and ask the question that came to mind, but as soon as the muscles on his face moved, Gul interrupted him.

    ¡°My mark does not give me the ability to know the thoughts of people. Not exactly. My mark grants me empathy beyond what most creatures experience. It enables me to learn and to intuit.¡±

    ¡°Do I even need to say anything then? Or can I just sit here and silently react to anything you say and you can just keep gathering information.¡±

    Gul put a piece of biscotti over their pale, thin lips as if it was replacing a finger tapping in contemplation. ¡°We could have a conversation like that. But it would be hollow and devoid of contemplation. Most intentional human thought processing occurs while constructing verbal conversation, while physical expression forms through instinctual response.¡±

    Making conversation with Gul was becoming harder and harder. It seemed the more they talked, the more bizarre Gul reacted. Josh was about to give up, when something occurred to him.

    ¡°Pardon my asking, but do you have many drawn out conversations with people from my world?¡±

    Gul seemed almost flustered, but most of what Josh detected was a conscious effort to conceal something. ¡°Not many. Why do you ask.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just that you¡¯re very observant, but not very good at conversation. So, it stands to reason that you haven''t had many drawn out conversations to gather experience from.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re quite observant yourself.¡± Gul said with a gentle frown.

    It wasn¡¯t an unhappy frown, at least it didn¡¯t convey that they were upset. If anything, Josh felt the full weight of Gul¡¯s curiosity in that frown. And, for a moment, Josh fully understood why he had been warned so thoroughly about Gul. He could tell, or at least he felt like he could tell, what was going through Gul¡¯s mind and it wasn¡¯t a pretty picture; it was the cold and calculated desire to dissect something and meticulously record all of its parts.

    By the time Josh realized that he had reacted to Gul¡¯s frown, it was too late. They had exchanged a small conversation of expressions before Josh could really understand what was happening. But even when he tried to wipe his hands over his face to loosen his facial muscles and neutralize any expression he was showing, Gul had already seen what he was thinking.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to do anything to you, Joshua. But, I believe you''ve garnered some insight into the methods I use to learn.¡± Gul looked slightly ashamed as they spoke, but there was still an underlying curiosity and confidence that unnerved Josh. ¡°I am a student of existence. I can¡¯t help but be curious about everything, because I want to learn everything. It¡¯s part of my mark and it¡¯s part of my very nature.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not exactly what I¡¯m afraid of.¡± Josh didn¡¯t know where he was going just yet, his thoughts hadn¡¯t quite caught up to the situation. ¡°I have a purely selfish question to ask you that doesn¡¯t benefit your curiosity at all.¡±

    ¡°Why would I answer it then?¡±

    ¡°I can offer you something purely for your curiosity in return.¡±

    Gul¡¯s eyes lit up, and it dawned on Josh just how ironic Gul¡¯s choice of location was. At that moment, the hairless, pale, and lithe creature sitting across the booth from him looked very much like a hairless cat. Their eyes were alight with a glint of curiosity that Josh had only ever seen in a cat peering over the edge of a table at something wandering underneath. It was just as much curiosity as it was preparation to pounce.

    ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡±

    ¡°I still have the sleeve of skin with the mark that I removed. Not with me here. But if you wanted access to it¡­ for research purposes, I¡¯d be willing to give you that.¡±

    Something dark and powerful crossed Gul¡¯s face as Josh made his offer. It wasn¡¯t insidious per se, but it wasn¡¯t benevolent either. It was almost like a lust for understanding. Gul¡¯s frown had spoken volumes about their desire to understand and the lengths they would go to, but this¡­ Josh wasn¡¯t exactly sure what Gul had just shown him. He didn¡¯t even have a proper word for the feeling it was that he¡¯d seen or how he felt because of it. It was, to use the term that others around him had used before, alien.

    ¡°And your question?¡±

    Josh paused. He hadn¡¯t known if he¡¯d ever actually get a chance to ask the question that had been on his mind since the moment he¡¯d been clued in to the existence of marks and other worlds. But he felt, at that moment, with the promise he had offered Gul, he could ask them anything at all, even something personal and unutterable, and he¡¯d get an answer.

    ¡°Why is this all happening? Why do marks exist? Why is it that both of our worlds are like this?¡±

    It took three questions to express what it was Josh meant. He understood why he was caught up in the mess, he understood what the mess was¡ªat least partially¡ªbut he didn¡¯t have a clue as to why it was happening. And that was the most important part. It was what was keeping him teetering on the fence. If the answer was right, then he knew there would only be one choice. And it was the choice he had been putting off for as long as he could.

    ¡°That¡¯s a very good question¡­¡±

    Gul was interrupted by commotion outside; loud noises, the crashing of something big and metal, and then a loud sharp snapping noise. A gunshot.

    Josh instinctively looked to the front of the cafe, out the glass window towards the street. But there was nothing wrong outside the window. The three people that had arrived with Gul were pretty clearly stationed outside, but at the noise Josh saw them bolt to attention and the two taller identical men made a B line to the side of the cafe.

    It took Josh a moment to remember what it all meant, but it clicked as soon as the two men bolted for the side alley. That was where Margot had gone to keep watch. Panic welled up in Josh, guilt and fear that he had been the cause of something terrible. But Gul seemed as calm as they had been the moment they walked in.

    ¡°Perhaps you should see the events unfolding outside for yourself, and then at least part of your question will be answered.¡± Gul turned to signal the hostess, who was now cowering behind the front counter of the cafe. ¡°Check please.¡±

 Resetting

    Of the several boons granted by a mark of possibility, the power to reset is perhaps the most coveted.

    Put simply, the combination of increased potential and power granted by a mark, along with the loose structure of the abstract world, allows one to reshape their form.

    Most commonly this is used to overcome physical limitations experienced in the "real" world. Loss of limb, genetic disease, and other debilitation can all be altered. Not everyone desires this, however.

    Also fairly common is the alteration of appearance. The abstract world is a place of near total acceptance and those that reside there experience the urge to appear as they feel. These physical changes can be as simple as a different hair color or as profound as complete erasure of previous appearance.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Upon entering the abstract world for the first time, newly activated marked beings are encouraged to spend time alone and acclimate. This includes the opportunity reset and instruction on how to do so.

    The ability to reset is not limited to a single use, though subsequent resets can become more difficult after the first.

    Being comfortable in ones body is an important aspect of being marked and not something that any marked person will scoff at.

 Ch.28 Hidden Conflict

    There was truly no way of knowing what to expect after hearing the gunshot. At first, Josh was frozen in place, but then the thought of Margot bleeding out in the alleyway made him jump to his feet. It had only taken him a moment to realize that if anything happened it would be his fault; and, consequently, it had taken him mere moments to raise his determination to the point where he was following the pointing of the hostess towards a back door out of the cafe.

    Surprisingly, the door wasn¡¯t locked. More surprising still was the scene that Josh found himself bursting in on.

    Margot was about twenty feet down the alleyway to his right, with someone he couldn¡¯t see very well on the ground, on their back, at her feet. There was a scattering of trash sprawled up the backstreet towards where he stood, with two toppled trash cans laying on the ground just a short distance away from Margot being the obvious source. The actual events that had led up to this moment were trickier to decode. The woman he considered a would be mentor was no where near as distressed as he expected she would be. He knew she was capable, but a gunshot could have meant anything and it wasn¡¯t the sort of attack that could be handled with strength alone.

    But Margot was not entirely reliant on her superhuman strength. And it was the moment that Josh thought that, that the scene before him made sense.

    Someone had been sneaking up the alleyway and Margot had probably caught them by surprise. The trashcans had probably been knocked over as she had lunged from her hiding space, the would be attacker was pinned right next to the toppled cans. The gunshot probably hadn¡¯t hit anyone; there wasn¡¯t a sign of blood or serious injury on Margot that Josh could see at least, and there weren¡¯t any sounds of distress or pain. Margot had tackled the person to the ground and the gun that had fired the shot that everyone on the block and probably heard, was knocked to the side of the attacker. Though, the more Josh thought about it, Margot was more the attacker than the person that had been creeping up the alleyway with a gun.

    The scene hadn¡¯t stopped just because Josh had stepped outside though. Margot wasn¡¯t careless enough to pause at the sight of Josh. She had lunged down to grapple the now flailing gunman. And the struggle was growing messy. They were a blur of arms and legs as they struggled to maintain a grip on each other and escape the various strikes and holds being exchanged.

    ¡°She¡¯s a very capable fighter, isn¡¯t she.¡± Gul whispered from behind Josh.

    Their appearance made sense, but Josh hadn¡¯t heard them at all. Granted, he wasn¡¯t paying attention to anything besides Margot and the gunman sprawled out on the back alley street in a contest of strength.

    Gul placed a hand on Josh¡¯s shoulder to move him to the side just enough for them to squeeze past. ¡°But if we don¡¯t step in, it will be a stalemate.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Josh didn¡¯t know what else to say.

    Margot was incredibly strong and agile, there wasn¡¯t really a scenario that made sense in his head where she lost the fight. But Gul was right, neither Margot or the man seemed to have an upper hand.

    ¡°Just the one?¡± Gul called out to Margot.

    Their interruption stopped both of the figures struggling on the ground, at least for a moment. Margot paused just a moment longer than the gunman, who took the opportunity to throw Margot off of them and reach for their weapon.

    Much to Josh¡¯s surprise, Gul was the first to react. They pushed Josh back into the open back door of the cafe and leapt into the alleyway. Margot jumped back to attention as well and as soon as she was on her feet again, she was jumping at the gunman. Margot reached him first, stepping behind him and twisting the pistol to the side and trapping their finger in the trigger guard. The gun fired into the brick wall to their right and a shriek of pain confirmed to Josh that their finger was probably broken. The shriek was cut short as Gul made their way in front of the gunman and struck their hand down at them. Josh couldn¡¯t see where the strike connected, but he witnessed the gunman go from being upright on his knees to slumped on the ground.

    For a moment, Josh feared that Gul had just murdered the man with a single punch. But Margot quickly put the fear to rest.

    ¡°He¡¯s unconscious but still breathing.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s still conscious.¡± Gul corrected plainly before leaning down and placing their hand on the man.

    After several second of silence, Gul announced, ¡°now he¡¯s unconscious.¡±

    Josh crept quietly and nervously up the back alley. Even though the man was unconscious, he didn¡¯t feel like he should be there. It was still dangerous. There was a gun right there on the ground and it made him panic a little just seeing it.

    ¡°Joshua,¡± Gul had heard his approach and turned to Josh as he stood quietly several feet from the unconscious man. ¡°I would like to test your eyes for a moment.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Josh stammered, unable to meet Margot¡¯s frustrated gaze.

    ¡°You are a very intelligent and focused young man. Tell me what your impression of this man is.¡±

    The thought of doing what Gul was suggesting made Josh uncomfortable, but then again almost everything about Gul made Josh at least a little uncomfortable. But after hearing it, Josh couldn¡¯t help but take a closer look at the man sprawled out face down on the ground.

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

    He was light skinned, dark haired, probably six foot tall with a medium build, and dressed casually in nice but inexpensive clothes. All of his clothes were either tan, white, gray, or black. He was incredibly nondescript. So much so that it actively took Josh a moment to realize that that was the point.

    ¡°Can I see his face?¡±

    Margot didn¡¯t answer, but flipped the man over. She was careful not to jostle him too much, and kept herself positioned so that she could restrain him at a moment¡¯s notice.

    The man¡¯s face was also incredibly average. Clean shaven, well maintained, and no visible scars or skin defects apart from light freckles. His nose was just pronounced enough to be clearly a nose and his jaw was set at such an angle that if there was anything remotely remarkable about the man he might have been incredibly attractive. But there was an oddly specific level of flatness and plainness that kept him from being anything close to remarkable. If Josh wasn¡¯t looking directly at him, he wouldn¡¯t have been able to remember his face at all.

    There was only one thing that stood out to Josh. At the wrist, just below an incredibly plain looking digital wristwatch and above the bit of shirt cuff that was pushed up his right arm, there was a hint of a tattoo.

    That was Josh¡¯s first thought, but immediately after processing the thought of the word ¡®tattoo¡¯ the next logical conclusion shook Josh to his core.

    ¡°Roll up his right sleeve.¡±

    Gul let a wide and mildly sinister smile stretch across their face at the order and nodded to Margot to do as Josh said. Josh didn¡¯t see the smile or the nod. He only saw the mark on the man¡¯s arm. It was a cuff tattoo, stretching from just above the wrist to halfway up the forearm. It didn¡¯t look like an intentional design at first, comprising of varying thicknesses of vertical line that wrapped around the man¡¯s whole arm. But it slowly dawned on Josh that it was a very intentional pattern.

    ¡°It¡¯s a bar code.¡± Josh muttered to himself.

    ¡°What¡­¡± Margot started to ask a question, but Gul quickly interrupted.

    ¡°Excellent, Joshua.¡± Gul said with a slightly more measured smile. ¡°Do me a favor and mark the top, bottom, and a vertical blank space connecting the two with this.¡±

    Gul held uncapped and held out a white plastic marker. It looked like it had a tip like a permanent black marker, but it was a clear or white ink.

    ¡°Like a capital letter I with serif.¡± Gul carried on and shook the marker for Josh to take. ¡°Go on. It¡¯s not going to hurt him, its just a UV marker.¡±

    With a nod from Margot, Josh took the marker and gently drew a line between two of the bar code lines on the man¡¯s arm and then capped it on both ends with a horizontal line. The look that Margot had given him with the nod didn¡¯t make him feel any better about what he was doing. When Josh looked up he noticed that the two identical men that had accompanied Gul to the cafe were now stationed at either end of the alleyway behind the cafe, and the woman that had been with them was standing in the back door to the cafe as well. He had the feeling, amid the confusion of the moment, that he and Margot had been surrounded.

    ¡°Steven, would you be so kind as to escort our friend back home?¡± Gul asked as they looked up to one of the men at the end of the alley.

    Both of the men nodded and approached, picked the man up under the arms and began to carry him off back towards the street.

    ¡°Jacqueline,¡± Gul turned to the woman at the back door, ¡°be a dear and flash a badge around so people don¡¯t ask too many questions.¡±

    The woman nodded and retreated back into the cafe.

    Josh was left in the back alley, dazed and confused. Margot stood and lifted Josh off his knees with her as she did so. Amid his confusion, one thought surfaced and attempted to untangle what had just transpired.

    ¡°Gul, how does that answer my question?¡±

    Gul¡¯s smile subsided and the excitement faded into their normal neutral expression. ¡°You didn¡¯t forget. Good. But you¡¯re right, it can be difficult to glean information from such an unprecedented event.¡±

    ¡°What question did you ask them?¡± Margot practically hissed the question.

    She wasn¡¯t angry, but she was clearly still stressed form her encounter. Her hands were scraped from being dragged across the concrete and she was still breathing heavy. The adrenaline in her system was lingering longer than she wanted it to and it was making it hard to stay calm and collected. Even after practicing sparring with Connor earlier that morning, Margot hadn¡¯t looked this winded.

    Josh couldn¡¯t answer, he was still lost in everything that had happened. But Gul took the opportunity to intercede. ¡°Why.¡±

    Margot took a deep breath and centered her gaze on Josh. ¡°That¡¯s a big question. Are you sure you really want to know that?¡±

    A lump formed in Josh¡¯s throat. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that it was all that was standing between him and having her give him a mark there on the spot. But the words couldn¡¯t bubble up past his hesitation. No matter how hard he focus, Josh couldn¡¯t bring himself to admit that he wanted to feel safe again; because right then, he felt more afraid of the world than he ever had before.

    So, instead, he nodded.

    Gul¡¯s smile returned, a slight sinister edge tinged with pity. ¡°Because there will be people in your life that forget about you one day. They¡¯ll move on to succeed and recline in succulent bliss as they reap the rewards for it without ever having to worry another day in their life. And the only way those people can continue to carry on in luxury is if they never remember you. To that end, the one that enjoys the pleasures of the victors will ensure that you are erased from this world.¡±

    There was a pause as Gul took a breath of air in and savored the tension then had created, the fear that manifested across all of Josh¡¯s body language. ¡°Because, when you do not have the chance to succeed but you still contain the potential to grow¡ªas all beings do when they are not crushed into the earth¡ªyou pose the greatest threat to the prosperity of the people that would exercise power over you. Because that¡¯s what a mark is, the potential to grow and the draw to a world where you can.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡± Josh fumbled with the few words that did manage to come out of his mouth after Gul¡¯s explanation.

    ¡°You won¡¯t. No matter how well I explain it, you won¡¯t be able to make sense of it until you are marked. But when you are, it will cascade down on you. Reality will make itself known.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re pushing him.¡± Margot whispered.

    ¡°Look at him. He needs it.¡± Gul whispered back in a gentle voice that did not sound like it belonged to the cold and calculating creature that Josh saw before him. ¡°It will only take a small push. Just a little, and then he can be everything he is able to become. I can feel it.¡±

    There was silence following Gul¡¯s words. Josh didn¡¯t dare respond or ask another question and Margot was struggling to try and find a mix of words that could comfort Josh while also reassuring him that Gul couldn¡¯t be sure, at least a mix of those things that wasn¡¯t a lie.

    In that silence, Gul¡¯s eyes grew gleeful. It was as if all their guesses were proving true in accelerated time. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Joshua. You still have a choice¡­ and time to make it. But you should leave now. Where one of these agents of erasure goes, more will follow.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re right.¡± Margot said with a low sigh. ¡°We need to collect Connor and Sara quickly before they do anything foolish.

 Ch.29 Confusing Aftermath

    Margot had been dodgy as they had collected Sara and Connor, even more so as they all made their way back to the apartment building. But it wasn¡¯t until Margot led them all to the back of the apartment building and up a service stairwell instead of an elevator that Josh realized just how paranoid she had become. She wouldn¡¯t say anything to any of them despite their constant questions. Even when Connor or Sara tried to ask Josh what had happened, she shushed them quickly and beckoned them to follow her in silence.

    Once they had slogged their way up the far too numerous flights of stairs to the apartment and the front door was sealed behind them, Sara caught her mother by the wrist and in the most frightening voice Josh had ever heard asked, ¡°What the hell was that, Margot?¡±

    Unsurprisingly, Margot was caught off guard.

    ¡°Josh, what happened in that cafe?¡± Sara had turned her frustration to Josh and he immediately shrank back.

    ¡°It was just one guy¡­¡± Josh tried to stammer out but he was at a loss for words. He was physically tired from the stairs and mentally exhausted from everything else before that.

    ¡°Someone showed up to kill me.¡± Margot said with a deep breath as soon as she managed to collect herself. ¡°Me or Gul. But based on the training and abilities they had, I¡¯d say me.¡±

    There was a slouch to Sara righteous indignation at the comment, and her grip on her mother¡¯s wrist weakened. In turn, Margot held her daughters hand in her own and returned the frustration with gentleness. It was the kind of reaction that Josh would have expected from Sara, but it made sense that her mother could be just as kind and soft with people; even if it was the first time Josh had really seen that kind and mothering side of Margot.

    ¡°It can¡¯t be that bad, right? Our marks aren¡¯t active. If it was bad, we¡¯d be running for an exit¡­ right?¡±

    Connor had started pacing nervously, only stopping to make his comment. The complete disarray of everyone¡¯s reaction was bringing genuine pain to Josh¡¯s head. He felt the blood pressure under his bandages. His pulse was racing and he was getting a little dizzy.

    ¡°We aren¡¯t hitting the fan just yet, no.¡± Margot shook her head as she spoke, both reassuring and contemplating for herself how bad things really were. ¡°But we need to spread out for a little bit. I need to get off the grid for a week or two and you three should see if you can hide out away from here for as long as you can.¡±

    The moment became too much and Josh slumped down on the couch. He sat with his face in his hands and he wanted so badly to press them into his eyes as hard as he could. But apart from the normal pain, he had to worry about his head injury.

    ¡°It¡¯s a long weekend.¡± Sara nodded along with her mother. ¡°We can go camping¡­ but I don¡¯t think Josh is fit for much outdoor travel right now. And if we leave him alone he¡¯ll have worse dreams and might end up with a prototype mark that could kill him.¡±

    ¡°I can stay with Josh.¡± Connor muttered, stopping his pacing just feet away from the kitchen cabinet that held all of their alcohol. His pacing had slowly been taking him that direction.

    Josh finally took a deep breath and let the information swirling around him settle.

    ¡°Why is it a long weekend?¡±

    ¡°Josh, it¡¯s Labor Day.¡± Sara answered confused, but then her eyes darted to the bandages on Josh¡¯s head and the lapse in tracking time made sense.

    ¡°I¡¯ll visit my family.¡° Josh started in a mutter that grew slowly into a more confident and decisive tone. ¡°They have a blowout barbecue every year. Connor can come with me, they won¡¯t care if I bring him and I kinda told them I¡¯d be there anyway.¡±

    Margot seemed to approve of the plan and her tone as she asked ¡°Can you get there tonight?¡± reaffirmed Josh¡¯s resolve.

    ¡°Yeah. They probably won¡¯t expect me, but I can just say I finished my school work early and decided I didn¡¯t want to waste half the day on the subway.¡±

    ¡°As long as I can get some safe food, I¡¯m fine.¡± Connor said with a shrug.

    There was a slow approving nod from everyone in the room. It seemed simple. But everything underneath the events that had just transpired still echoed in everyone¡¯s thoughts. Josh, in particular, was still perplexed with what Gul had said about why the world was the way it was. It sounded like gibberish, almost political in how convoluted it was, but one thing in particular stood out.

    The one that enjoys the pleasures of the victors¡­

    It almost made sense. Someone, something, some creature or force was arranging the world to be the way they liked. Josh couldn¡¯t think of much else in the ensuing hours. He had picked up his bag intended to be his overnight bag and waited by the door to the apartment. Margot had left as soon as everyone had decided on a course of action. Sara was busy scrambling to pack away a what scant camping gear was scattered throughout the apartment. Connor had slowly and methodically packed a bag and had been sitting quietly at the kitchen island for what felt like hours, but was probably only ten minutes.

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°Are you two going to be okay while I¡¯m gone?¡±

    Sara seemed nervous, less about being on her own for two days and more about leaving Connor and Josh unsupervised. There was a familiar motherly tone to her words that resonated with the same feelings that Margot had just shared with Sara. It was mildly infantilizing, at least Josh felt that way, but he appreciated the gesture all the same.

    ¡°Yeah, mom. We¡¯ll be fine.¡± Connor hit back with a friendly sarcastic tone performance that didn¡¯t mesh with the experiences of the morning.

    ¡°Are you going to be okay camping by yourself?¡± Josh asked, pitifully earnest.

    Sara just smiled and waved it off. ¡°Margot¡¯s been giving me survival training since age five. I can handle two nights at campground in the woods. But I¡¯m still worried about you guys. What if Connor¡¯s mark isn¡¯t enough on its own to keep your dreams at bay? What if your family doesn¡¯t have any food Connor can eat? What if you die on the subway?¡±

    Josh couldn¡¯t help but laugh at the increasingly ridiculous focus of Sara¡¯s questions.

    ¡°We¡¯ll be fine. But if we don¡¯t come back by Tuesday, maybe check the local news and make sure there wasn¡¯t a double homicide at a family barbecue?¡±

    With a light laugh and a heft of her light pack of gear, Sara left the apartment.

    Without any further reason to stay and potential endanger themselves, Connor and Josh exchanged a look. Josh wasn¡¯t quite sure what it conveyed, but it felt like a mutual understanding of some kind. Rather than let it linger, Josh made his way out the door and towards the elevator.

    Leaving the apartment separately was part of the plan. Sara would go down the back stairwell that they¡¯d just come up, Josh and Connor would take the main elevator. And while the paranoia that Margot that instilled in them on the way to the apartment still lingered, Josh couldn¡¯t see a single sign of ill intent. There were no impossibly innocuous people trailing them, no gunshots through a crowd, and no one came up behind them with a rag soaked in sedative. Josh and Connor, at least, made it to their initial destination safely.

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be a long ride.¡± Josh mumbled through the din of weekend commuters on the subway car. ¡°And I should probably warn you, my family¡­ they¡¯re not the greatest kind or people to be around for extended periods of time.¡±

    ¡°Everyone¡¯s family is like that, though, right?¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ sure¡­¡± Josh didn¡¯t want to have to prove that he was right about his own family and his experiences with them, especially not in such a public space, but he sincerely didn¡¯t want Connor to meet his family unprepared. ¡°Everyone has their crazy uncle and super argumentative cousin. But my family is all like that. My dad is the crazy uncle. My mom is the argumentative¡­ cousin. Don¡¯t make an incest joke.¡±

    Connor had an eyebrow raised and ready to go, but held out his hands and shrugged. ¡°Should have picked a different metaphor if you didn¡¯t want it to get weird. But hey, my dad¡¯s not his own grandpa, so I can¡¯t judge.¡±

    Josh only barely made the connection and the joke didn¡¯t land well. Not that he was prone to laugh at jokes in the first place.

    ¡°Alright. Not a joker. Fair enough.¡± Connor said with a sigh. ¡°Sorry if I can¡¯t help it though, it¡¯s a nice way to relieve stress.¡±

    ¡°I get it.¡± Josh mumbled, quieter this time. Connor could barely hear him among the other voices talking in the car. ¡°Sorry if I¡¯m just a downer. I honestly had been planning on skipping the family events this year. I wanted to focus on my grades and making friends and¡­ I really didn¡¯t want to come back home and have to deal with all the drama.¡±

    ¡°Same.¡± Connor huffed out the word with a single laugh. ¡°But I guess I managed to avoid it.¡±

    ¡°I wish you didn¡¯t have to deal with my family though. It sucks for me, but I can only imagine how they¡¯ll try to tease you.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, how are they gonna make fun of me? My life¡¯s already a joke.¡±

    ¡°Well, they¡¯re probably going to start by calling you my boyfriend. And after they learn about your dietary restrictions, they¡¯ll probably try to convince you that it¡¯s some kind of placebo that you did to yourself for being¡­ you know¡­¡±

    ¡°I mean, you don¡¯t. And they don¡¯t.¡± Connor said, now with a genuine frown. ¡°Are they really caught up on the homophobia angle that badly? I mean¡­ you¡¯re not¡­? Are you?¡±

    ¡°Are you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not homophobic.¡±

    ¡°I think we¡¯re talking about different things now.¡±

    ¡°Oh. You mean gay?¡± Connor said the words so easily that Josh felt a little uncomfortable.

    Connor noticed.

    ¡°I mean. I never really thought about it. Like, I thought about it. But I never really came to a conclusion. Who would want to be with someone who can¡¯t kiss them unless they shared the same incredibly restrictive diet? Gay or straight, that¡¯s a tall order. I¡¯d probably just take whatever opportunities presented themselves¡­ maybe.¡±

    His explanation sounded partially sincere, but there was still a joking undertone that made Josh uncomfortable. Mostly uncomfortable because he knew where the conversation was headed next.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me anything about yourself you aren¡¯t ready to say yet.¡± Connor had taken Josh¡¯s silence as a kind of answer to the question he knew that Josh was expecting him to ask. ¡°But, if you¡¯re family is going to be on your case and making fun of you for being different in any kind of way, I¡¯ve got your back.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Josh whispered.

    ¡°It¡¯s what weirdos like me are for.¡± Connor let loose a cheesy toothy grin that cut past the tension in Josh¡¯s mind. ¡°If people that get made fun of can¡¯t band together, what¡¯s the point.¡±

    His comment pulled Josh¡¯s eyes down to Connor¡¯s arm, to his mark. With short sleeves on, Josh could see almost all of Connor¡¯s slender and fair skinned arm. The mark looked almost perfectly contrasted with his skin tone. And, at that moment, it looked inviting and hopeful.

    More of what Gul had said was beginning to piece itself together.

    If a mark was a mass of potential and a tool of liberation, then it meant that there were contrary forces acting on the people the marks belonged to. People with undiscovered potential had to be quashed to continue going undiscovered. Liberation required oppression. And the mark¡­ required an antithesis. Something perfectly uniform, but uniquely identifying. Something like a bar code.

    ¡°One more thing, about my families house¡­¡± Josh started, but as he was saying it all the confidence left his body. ¡°There probably won¡¯t be a lot of space¡­ for sleeping¡±

    Connor laughed at the implication. ¡°You don¡¯t have to share a bed with me. This isn¡¯t Moby Dick and your parents house isn¡¯t The Pequod. If there aren¡¯t enough beds, one of us can sleep on the floor.¡±

    Josh felt his face go red. He didn¡¯t know what was happening. Not with the conversation, not with his expectations for his stay with his family, and not with Connor¡¯s absolute candor. But it wasn¡¯t something he was comfortable with. At least¡­ not any time soon.

 Ch.30 Uncomfortable Home

    ¡°What color car are we looking for?¡±

    Connor was peering over the small stream of people exiting the subway station. Their destination in the suburbs had been reached with no issue. Josh had texted his sister to see if she would pick him up. She hadn¡¯t responded, but she never did. It was her primary tactic. If she was asked to do something, she would usually do it without any sort of warning, and without the heads up it would usually not happen. But she would show up and blame however asked her to do it for not holding up their end.

    Consequently, no one asked her for much anymore. But Josh wasn¡¯t ready to deal with anyone else.

    ¡°Blue. It¡¯s a bug, and she keeps it very clean. You¡¯ll see it.¡± Josh hummed with a nod. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    Within mere moments of Josh¡¯s comment, Connor exclaimed, ¡°Oh, dang. I do see it. That really stands out.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. But, please¡­ don¡¯t avoid eye contact. She¡¯s gonna test you.¡±

    ¡°Eye contact with¡­ oh.¡± Connor paused as a woman established herself from the crowd of people that were exiting the subway and pressed up against him. ¡°Hello?¡±

    ¡°Your boyfriend¡¯s got pretty eyes, Joshy.¡± The woman said in between the smacking of chewing gum.

    Josh, who had expected this sort of stealthy arrival, cringed at the abrupt introduction. ¡°Chelsea¡­ he¡¯s my roommate and he didn¡¯t have anywhere to be for the weekend. Can you not?¡±

    ¡°No, I can¡¯t.¡± Chelsea sneered. ¡°So how does that work, roommate? Is your situation coed or what?¡±

    Connor, much to Josh¡¯s horror, had a massive grin on his face as he glared down at Chelsea. She¡¯d gotten in close so that they were nearly chest to chest, but the severe high difference forced her to look almost straight up to keep eye contact.

    ¡°You remind me of my little sister.¡± Connor surprised Josh and began talking with calm and gentle sincerity. ¡°You can¡¯t be much older than her.¡±

    Josh winced at the insinuation, but he was impressed. It was a good move. Chelsea had always been short, barely over five foot, even though she was the oldest sibling. And she still looked the same as the last time he had seen her; still painted in all the makeup that made her feel comfortable, still manicured with precision, still donning the same bubbly style of clothes she¡¯d worn in high school. She probably had close to ten years on Connor, but somehow she didn¡¯t seem to be able to express any kind of influence over him.

    ¡°You¡¯re right, Joshy. He couldn¡¯t be your boyfriend. His balls are too big.¡± Chelsea¡¯s voice was a mix of genuine contemplation and an uncomfortable amount of interest. ¡°Get your crap in the car, I need to stop and get some groceries on the way home.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t tell mom and dad I was coming tonight, did you?¡± Josh asked nervously as he motioned for Connor to follow him and his sister to her car.

    ¡°Of course I did. What made you think I wouldn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°I mean... I asked you not to.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that was stupid. You shouldn¡¯t just show up places and expect a royal treatment.¡±

    ¡°I already told them I¡¯d be there for the family barbecue!¡± Josh defended. ¡°Just not when I¡¯d get there. Now they¡¯re going to think something¡¯s wrong.¡±

    Connor had already stowed his thinks in the small blue car but was waiting for someone else to get in first. Chelsea was leaning on the drivers side door and sneering at Josh as he stuffed his things into the small hatch compartment in the back of the car. He had packed light, essentially just the bag he¡¯d taken to stay the weekend at Connor and Sara¡¯s apartment along with a few extra bandages to replace his current ones.

    ¡°I have to get in the back seat¡­ don¡¯t I¡­¡± Josh said with a sigh.

    ¡°Sorry, dude. I don¡¯t really fold in half all that well, and there¡¯s no other way I¡¯m cramming myself back in there.¡±

    It was a fair assessment. Chelsea had chosen her car to be the most inconvenient vehicle possible for other people to use; it suited her own purposes just fine of course, but the moment someone else needed her help, it became a very hostile vehicle.

    Josh gave Connor a weak smile as he folded back the passenger seat and climbed in the back with a grumbled, ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    Chelsea follow suit and Connor squeezed in last. Even with the extra leg room of the front passenger seat, he still look far too tall for the car. And throughout the processes of driving around the poorly maintained suburban roads, getting out and back in for groceries, Connor was being jostled around pretty roughly.

    It was a few minutes before Chelsea made it back to their family home that she asked the question that Josh knew she was going to save for the most opportune moment. And she had calculated it pretty perfectly.

    ¡°So, are you going to tell me what happened to you?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Josh knew exactly what she meant. His bandages were extremely visible and there wasn¡¯t much else standing out.

    ¡°You¡¯re covered in gauze and your terrified that mom and dad will think something is up.¡±

    That last part hadn¡¯t been something Josh thought she¡¯d pick up. He hadn¡¯t been subtle about it, but he didn¡¯t think she¡¯d piece the two together. And even though the two things weren¡¯t exactly connected, there was a certain narrative that tethered them together that Josh had no intention of telling his sister. Or anyone for that matter.

    ¡°I slipped in the shower and smashed my head on an exposed pipe. The arm is from falling off an electric scooter going fifteen miles an hour.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re lying.¡± Chelsea called him out almost immediately. ¡°I can¡¯t tell which one though. You said them differently, so one of them¡¯s the truth and ones a lie.¡±

    Technically, both were lies. One was just more of a lie than the other.

    ¡°Is your sister one of those human polygraph people?¡± Connor laughed. ¡°Because I would have believed it if I didn¡¯t know different.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and do you want to tell me what happened to my little brother, big guy?¡± For moment Chelsea almost sounded defensive, like she really cared that Josh was hurt. Josh didn¡¯t buy it, but it was tempting to take comfort in it.

    Connor chuckled, calm as ever, and answered, ¡°he got poison ivy in the campus gardens¡­ from a specifically labeled poison ivy plant.¡±

    It was a good lie, or it would have been in any other situation. A contagious wound was less likely to be inspected. But Chelsea, to her credit, knew Josh better than Connor. And even though Connor¡¯s tone and demeanor was near perfect, she could tell he was lying.

    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

    ¡°Joshy doesn¡¯t get poison ivy rash.¡± Chelsea growled, frustrated. ¡°And you¡¯re lying for him, so it has to be something really embarrassing.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Connor frowned, put out by the failure. He looked genuinely disappointed.

    The timing of the lie couldn¡¯t have been worse for Josh either. Chelsea had timed her question hoping that it would cause an argument that she would be able to carry into the house and let other people hear. If it was something embarrassing and Josh¡¯s fault, people would be on his case about it¡­ and Chelsea could do anything she wanted and be ignored.

    And at that moment, Chelsea was in the process of pulling into the driveway of the Hall family home. She was poised to carry out her little tactic perfectly. But Josh had a far better lie come to mind. More of a truth than falling off a scooter or getting poison ivy, and one he could leverage against his sister in a more personal way.

    ¡°Fine. I was going to get a tattoo, but the place I went to tried to shave the arm hair down with a nasty razor and I lost some skin and there¡¯s a big skin infection.¡± Josh snapped at his sister. ¡°And if you breath a word of it to anyone, I¡¯ll tell them about why you always wear long shirts that cover your¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Chelsea interrupted. ¡°You swore!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, fat lot of good that does in our house.¡±

    There was silence in the car as it was turned off and no one moved to get out. Connor was clearly very uncomfortable. He hadn¡¯t anticipated it being quite so bad, and he began to fear what waited inside if Josh had elected to have his sister pick them up rather than anyone else. If this was the least bothersome route, the interior of the house may as well have been hell.

    ¡°When you¡¯re a lawyer, you¡¯re getting me out of every single parking ticket.¡± Chelsea growled. ¡°All of them. And if I ever get arrested to setting a future boyfriend¡¯s car on fire, you¡¯re getting me out of that too.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very specific. You better not ever do that specific crime because I¡¯ll have to bear witness that it may have been premeditated.¡±

    There was another moment of pause before Chelsea began to snicker lightly, like they had just established some kind of inside joke. ¡°Right. Now get your stuff out of my car.¡±

    There was a not so subtle nod to Connor as she said ¡®stuff¡¯ that reassured Josh the topic of them dating hadn¡¯t been dropped. If anything, she was probably going to feed it to the rest of his family as ammunition. But anything directed towards his injuries, she¡¯d deflect if she could. That was the unspoken agreement Josh had created. His blackmail material on his sister was scant, but the secret of her tattoo and the story around it was enough to keep her mouth shut and buy a little bit of camaraderie.

    The tactic paid off almost immediately. Josh¡¯s dad had marched out the front door to help Chelsea with groceries, and upon seeing the extra passengers in the car, had stopped at Chelsea¡¯s door to get filled in on what were apparently worthy details.

    ¡°Look who I found wandering around the subway station.¡± Chelsea chuckled. ¡°Mr. Pre-Law and his new boy toy.¡±

    Josh took the initiative to attempt to dispel the attack before it began in earnest. ¡°This is Connor, my roommate this semester. Sorry for not giving you more of a heads up, but I finished all my assignments early and though I could make it out here before it got too late. Connor is tagging along to avoid his old roommate and her mom.¡±

    It was all¡­ nearly true. At least everything about Connor. Josh had spent nearly as many night at Connor and Sara¡¯s as he had at his own apartment, so he was basically their third roommate. And he and Connor were intentionally staying away from Sara and Margot so they couldn¡¯t all be found together and would stay inconspicuous. Of course, if there was a big enough fuss at the Hall household, people would find out they were there anyway. Things could get loud; and that was exactly what Josh was trying to avoid.

    ¡°Say no more.¡± Josh¡¯s dad held up a hand. ¡°We have plenty of food now and your room is empty for the weekend. Your brother decided it was going to be more fun to spend the weekend in Vegas with his new art school friends. So we aren¡¯t saving anything for him when he shows up tomorrow at five in the evening with a raging hangover and no idea why his twenty year old behind got dragged half way across the country by your uncle.¡±

    Josh wasn¡¯t going to ask any questions about that. He knew it was bait. His next youngest brother, Davis, was probably not going to get dragged home by his uncle and his police connections. HE probably was spending the weekend with friends in Vegas, but he knew for a fact that his brother was too timid to drink after all the teasing he¡¯d gone through at home while their dad drank. And the color on his dad¡¯s face didn¡¯t escape Josh¡¯s notice either.

    ¡°Sucks to be him then, I guess.¡± Josh said flatly, trying and failing to deliver a convincing snarky chuckle in response.

    ¡°Yeah. Anyway, go introduce your friend to your mom, she¡¯s finishing up dinner. Chels, I¡¯ll grab some bags¡­ did you get the right kind of buns?¡±

    The conversation between Josh¡¯s dad and sister began to ramble as he and Connor made their way towards the house with their things. Josh could tell his dad hadn¡¯t had too much to drink, not yet at least. He rarely had more than a few sips before dinner and controlling his intake was one of the few things his dad was actually good at. He put up an off kilter facade, but he was still sharp underneath. That¡¯s how their house managed to stay together, literally and metaphorically. His dad was a private investigator that did most of his work listening in on conversations while pretending to be drunk.

    And the house that got kept together was deceptively serene.

    The Hall family lived in an old neighborhood. It was a decent drive from the interstate and any other public transportation connections but close enough to a supermarket to make the odd last minute grocery trip reasonable and convenient. The house itself was a brick and tan panel two story barn style home with a detached garage and outdoor car port. The front yard was crowded with rich and green plants interspersed with rarely tended gardens that still had the beauty of several flowering plants that refused to die on their own. It was placid, all things considered. They had inherited the house from Josh¡¯s mother¡¯s parents. Her father had been a doctor and this was the ¡°summer¡± home that he had cheated on his wife in. No one else in the family had wanted the property, and they had tried to convince Josh¡¯s mother to sell it and erase the memory of it all together. But she had been charmed by the idyllic visuals.

    Josh could hear his mother cooking in the kitchen from outside. She had opened the kitchen door to the screened in porch to let out some heat as she often did in the warmer months. She heard the porch door open and shut first, but she didn¡¯t see who had come into her kitchen until Josh and Connor walked in.

    ¡°Oh, hi, Joshy. Your early¡­. oh my gosh what happened to you?!¡± Josh¡¯s mom had only caught him out of the corner of her eye at first. But the second she put down what she had been working on and too a proper look at him she saw his bandages.

    For all the contention in their home, Josh couldn¡¯t call his mother complacent. She wasn¡¯t the type of mother to brush off injuries, even minor ones, or invalidate problems she was made aware of. She would have been fired from her job as a school administrator a long time ago if that was the case. Rather, the opposite was true. She was very attentive to the needs of her family. Perhaps too attentive. And she made it her job to fix any and every problem her family had if she possibly could.

    Josh had to shield his bandages from his mom¡¯s hands. There was a small chance that she¡¯d tried to redress his injuries if she wasn¡¯t stopped. ¡°You know how victims of abuse that don¡¯t want to admit they¡¯re being abused say they¡¯re clumsy? I¡¯m apparently just that clumsy.¡±

    The comment was supposed to be a joke. Dark humor usually played off okay with his mother. But she was still focused on him enough that she didn¡¯t even offer a comment about Connor yet. Josh was sure that she saw him standing awkwardly in the doorway behind him. But she was focused on the bandages now.

    ¡°You¡¯ve never been this clumsy before! What happened?¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ I kind of have been. But this one,¡±¡ªJosh pointed to the bandage around his forehead¡ª¡±is not so much my fault. I slipped in the showers and hit my head on a pipe. I think someone left soap on the floor or something. It¡¯s mostly a blur. The other one is from falling off one of those rental scooters.¡±

    ¡°And you got road rash so bad you had to bandage your whole arm?¡±

    ¡°Well, my palm, forearm, elbow, and shoulder. So pretty much.¡± Josh offered with a shrug.

    It felt like the more casually he played it off the more believable it would be. His mom didn¡¯t seem to buy the whole story, but seemed to be satisfied enough to drop it. But then her eyes moved to Connor.

    ¡°And who is this strapping young man¡­¡±

    The deep discomfort that his mother¡¯s comment caused Josh elicited a drawn out groan of disgust. ¡°This is my roommate, Connor. Connor, my mother. My happily married mother that works with high-schoolers that aren¡¯t that much younger than you.¡±

    ¡°Jeez, take a joke Josh.¡± His mother sneered, but turned a polite face to her guest. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you Connor. Please make yourself at home.¡±

    ¡°Thank you misses Hall.¡±

    Connor had been standing by waiting for his signal to be polite and try not to cause more trouble than he already had. It became more apparent with every family member he met, that Josh¡¯s family was a problem uniquely suited for Josh to deal with. Josh had been dealing with them his entire life, after all. And that kind of familiarity with ones family issues was something that Connor understood all too well.

    ¡°Right. One your dad and sister get in with the groceries for tomorrow, we can sit down and eat. We¡¯ve got corn on the cob, meatloaf, and cheesy mashed potatoes.¡±

    Josh could feel Connor wince at the mention of nearly every food he couldn¡¯t eat mixed with a taste of things he could.

    It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

 Ch.31 Unpleasant Escape

    ¡°That was wild.¡± Connor had told Josh as they sat across the room from each other after dinner.

    It was Josh¡¯s childhood bedroom. And while it had been updated throughout his life, it still had all the marks of a space that had seen varying levels of habitation by a growing boy. Scratch marks and dings in the paint, holes in the walls and ceiling where thumbtacks had held various things in place, a desk etched with the carvings of an idle mind. Most of the things left in the room were things Josh had anticipated taking to his own home one day, whenever he had a space that was truly his own. But now¡ªseeing Connor, a living symbol of how his life was changing in perhaps the most dramatic way possible, sitting at the desk in the room¡ªeverything felt wrong. And those words. That was wild. They seemed to carry all new implications as they bounced off the walls.

    Sitting down comfortably in his own room, Josh felt like he was sheltering in the wilderness.

    ¡°That was pretty par for the course, actually.¡± Josh had replied. ¡°It gets worse on holidays.¡±

    That was what he¡¯d said, but it felt dishonest. Somehow, it felt wrong to accuse his family for their malicious behavior. For the sneering and passive aggressive comments they¡¯d made about him and Connor and anyone else that came up in conversation and made for a fun target. For the not quite so playful physical jabs at shoulders and flicking of the nose. For the sharing of embarrassing stories purely for the purpose of embarrassing the subject. It didn¡¯t feel like this had been the norm his whole life. But, what else had there been? Had it always been that bad?

    Josh couldn¡¯t conjure up a time when at least something like an amalgamation of the chaotic behavior he had just been immersed in was present in the house.Even on good days, there had always been something. Maybe it was just the natural product of being part of a big family, maybe it really was abnormal. It felt like it had gotten worse since Josh had left for college. And even if it hadn¡¯t¡­

    It was too painful to think about. The longer Josh lingered on the memories of growing up around his family, trying to conjure up positive memories, the more uncomfortable he felt.

    Connor had seen the shift in behavior just as he had seen the shift in behavior as soon as Josh began interacting with his family. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± He¡¯d said. ¡°It¡¯s okay to not like where you came from, and it¡¯s just as okay to want to. But I think you turned out fine.¡±

    It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to Josh within the confines of those four walls. And it was the only thing that calmed his mind down enough for him to fall asleep.

    There hadn¡¯t been any more conversation, no back and forth, no tragic life stories, just the simple exchange of sorrow and comfort. And then there was sleep.

    Initially, when Josh had felt his eyes sagging and his consciousness fading, it had been a relief. Rest was the thing he needed most in his life, and he couldn¡¯t have asked for anything more. With Connor there in close proximity, he was safe from the horrible and invasive nightmares that would have otherwise plagued his sleep. But there was something he had not expected at all when he let himself close his eyes. After all, this was one of the first real nights of restful sleep he had gotten since his last false mark had appeared. He had been exhausted enough nearly every night since he¡¯d been able to see marks, that had had only either had a dreamless and hollow night of pure recovery or a nightmare.

    The last thing Josh expected to experience was an honest to goodness peaceful vision of the beyond.

    It hadn¡¯t started out as any kind of vision or spiritually guided dream or whatever it was that marked individuals had. No dream ever really and truly is just one thing, after all. Even if it does contain a portion of true understanding of the cosmos, as dream is just as likely to include a horrifying scene of teeth falling out or being bitten by snakes or of running and only being able to move forward in slow motion. And all of those bits and pieces around the significant portions of a dream, they often don¡¯t mean anything at all. For all the desire that dreaming creatures have to ascribe meaning to their dreams, there is little evidence¡ªeven in the infinite realities of the beyond¡ªto suggest what dreams actually are or even how they work. There are theories, sure, but there isn¡¯t any reason or explanation as to why, for example, Josh began this particular dream with a sensation of a runny nose and an aimless mission to progress through what appeared to be a nondescript suburban neighborhood.

    And that was the beginning of his dream.

    It wasn¡¯t clear exactly when the dream began or when Josh felt aware enough to perceive it. But it was around the moment where Josh reached a level of awareness that neared waking consciousness that the world around him manifested. It was a suburban neighborhood. Simple, discrete, pleasant. The sort of place that that would show up on television as a background shot. As idyllic as it was, it was also strange. There were no other people to be seen. There was no hint of wind or sound of any kind. It was just Josh, standing in the middle of the street with snot building up in his nose.

    The strangeness, rather than instill fear or discomfort, was a sirens call of adventure. That is the way dreams are, sometimes. Sometimes dreamers become passengers for a film made by their own eyes and sensations as though they were possessed. Even with lucid dreaming, where the dreamer is unnaturally aware, the world can still have a script of its own that the dreamer cannot alter. And such was the case with Josh. He could not run, he could not leave, he could not escape the movement of the world to pull him towards the front door of a pleasant two story colonial house with white panel siding and a stone brick stoop. There was nothing to stop him from knocking on the dark blue wooden door or look through the frosted glass window right next to it.

    And there was nothing to stop him from turning the doorknob, pulling open the unlocked door, and entering the strangely empty living space. Nor was there anything stopping Josh was stepping inside.

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    That was the beginning of the real dream. Through the doorway of the house was the entrance into an ascended state of the mind the likes of which most dreamers never reach. As soon as his feet were inside the door, the door was gone and Josh was awake. Awake in a place both familiar and tainted with unpleasant memories.

    ¡°Oh no¡­¡± Josh muttered to himself.

    As soon as he said it he regretted it. He remembered how alone he really was there. Or rather, how not alone he was.

    Josh stood in the pale violet bubble he had descended through the beyond in during his first dream. The bubble he had reached out of and then been pulled out of by the being that resided in the bubble next to his. And it was still there. But something was different.

    While the bubble itself was much the same as it had been the first time, Josh was more aware of what it was. It wasn¡¯t clear if it was a true slice of reality outside the bounds of everything Josh had ever known or been told about before, or if it was just a vessel constructed by his mind to make sense of the alien concepts he was being exposed to. But it was clearly a place. A place drifting through an expanse. Josh could see that much through the translucent sheen of the bubble very clearly. There were other bubbles out in the space beyond his, like the one mere feet from the edge that Josh could distinctly feel the presence of the other being in. The only real limits to the other bubbles that Josh could see were the range of his vision and his understanding of the expanse beyond the safety of his own space.

    Josh¡¯s bubble and the other beings bubble were suspended on an invisible surface, like a net of gravity that stretched out forever on a two dimensional plane. But other bubbles seemed to be suspended at other points not in line with the plane that held his and the being¡¯s in place. It was as if there were countless other planes of invisible force covering all other points of space within the expanse that each bubble could rest on; like any simple particle of perceivable space could be an infinitely spanning net and also merely single atom. And the force holding them to that point or that net, could have originated from any direction. Just as Josh felt he had fallen into place alongside the other bubble, every other sphere stuck in place might have fallen there as well, just from a different angle.

    The more Josh looked outside of his bubble, the more he realized that everything he was observing in relation to position and space and distance and direction was all relative. He thought he had fallen down to where he was, because his feet had decided that that direction was where the ground was so he could stand, but he could have just as easily dropped up and his feet were lying to him.

    Somewhere along the train of thought that the idea of ¡°down¡± was limitation brought on by Josh¡¯s experience living in a world with gravity, Josh realized that he wasn¡¯t standing anymore. At least, his feet weren¡¯t planted on any surface of the bubble. He was drifting, rotating slightly, around the interior of his bubble. And while the act should have caused him nausea, he felt fine. Whether that was because this was a dream and nothing he experienced in it could truly connect to his bodily sense¡ªexcept for severe psychological trauma caused by the presence of an alien being and their mark¡ªor because the bubble he was in and the expanse beyond it was so simple to perceive was unclear. Spinning wildly on a carnival ride was one thing, as you were able to see so many different colors and space and you felt the pull of gravity and the powerful forces moving you around it. But it was something else entirely to be free from all gravitational restrains gazing into an empty expanse populated only by the most simple shape in the universe.

    It was peaceful. Even with the threat of the alien being that¡¯s very existence corroded his mind merely a few feet of abstract space away, Josh felt like he was satisfied. Both psychologically, emotionally, and physically. There was no real way of explaining it¡ªand, really, the bound of language have been stretched by the expanse enough already¡ªbut it felt¡­ correct.

    After who knows how long of doing nothing but floating and watching the empty white abyss, Josh noticed a hint of movement in the bubble next to him. A silhouette that had not been entirely discernible before became more clear behind the two layers of translucent violet film. It was like seeing a shape illuminated from behind through two reversed layers of one way glass. Something about it¡¯s shape made Josh feel as though it was significant. That it appearing was intentional. And something compelled him, be it madness of an overabundance of peace (though they aren¡¯t that different in my opinion), to try and make himself known as well.

    As with many things that happen in the simplified world of dreams and abstract cosmic reality, there is no explaining how one can make themselves known to another creature that is entirely different from oneself. There must, on some level, be an innate spark of universally present energy that connects all things animate and inanimate¡ªbecause as soon as Josh desired to make his existence known to the other being, he felt that it had been done. And moments later, as both he and the other thing, that being which resided beyond the reaches of the space Josh felt confident and safe within, expressed their desires, there was some realization of acknowledgement. Josh felt it. Felt it in some part of his brain he wasn¡¯t entirely sure he had in real life, as though there was some extra lobe dangling off his cerebrum somewhere that bestowed upon him a level of abstract understanding heretofore impossible for humans to experience. It wasn¡¯t powerful, nor was it profound. It was simple, gentle, and intimate in a way that felt foreign to Josh¡¯s mind. In his attempts to explain the experience to himself in that moment, all Josh could compare it to was a handshake shared across a distance which could not be bridged by hands and arms alone.

    Josh didn¡¯t dare press the communication to any further point. The other being seemed more cautious now, if there was any understanding of the concept of caution within it to begin with that is. It was, perhaps, the first step in realizing what Gul had tried to talk to Josh about. The other being, the one he was making just the faintest degree of contact with, was perhaps so incompatible with anything that he could understand that anything more complex than just the simplest and most foundational concepts of being could be shared on anything close to common ground. And that was all the psychic handshake Josh had shared with the being was. It said ¡°I am¡± and the being¡¯s response said ¡°I am as well.¡± And even that felt like a more complicated summation of what it had really been. In actuality, it had not even been a handshake; Josh realized this as he drifted around the bubble and faced his neighbor¡¯s habitation. What he had shared was the psychic equivalent of locking eyes across a vast room from a distance at which the other participant was unintelligible apart from their eyes and the intelligence behind them.

    That communication, whatever it really was, lasted for the remainder of the dream. It never changed. It never became anything more or less than what it started as. And when Josh woke up, he couldn¡¯t seem to articulate the feelings he had experienced in his dream; even in his own mind, what he had just gone through was beyond his ability to comprehend. But he felt at peace. He felt¡­ whole.

 Ch.32 Regrettable Return

    ¡°Are you awake?¡± Josh asked quietly.

    Connor was just out of his line of sight, sleeping on the floor on a jigsaw puzzle of foam camping mats and spare pillows. He had been too tall for the meager full size bed and insisted that Josh take it. Something told Josh that Connor¡¯s ability to sleep on demand in an environment that uncomfortable came from experience, but he wasn¡¯t quite sure what kind of experience and if it was a tragic painful tale or the tale of a guy that outgrew his living space faster than his parents could afford to furnish a new one.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been up for nearly two hours now.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I got my eight hours in and my body decided that was it.¡±

    ¡°And you just stayed there?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that bad actually. The lumps are actually kind of ergonomic when you curl around them.¡±

    Josh let out a quiet and mildly frustrated sigh as he picked up on Connor¡¯s facetious tone. ¡°Connor, why are you like this?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good question. I think it might have something to do with my diet.¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­¡± Josh groaned and rolled over to check the alarm clock that had been on the nightstand next to his bed since he was thirteen. ¡°It¡¯s too early for that. You can be snarky after breakfast.¡±

    ¡°Nice to know you¡¯re in a good mood.¡± Connor acted mildly offended, but in truth he was relieved. Josh seemed more open and communicative than he had been the night before. Regardless of the reason, Connor took it as a personal success.

    Without much fanfare, Josh directed Connor to the guest bathroom¡ªwhich was miraculously available, though it was earlier than Josh¡¯s family usually woke up¡ªand changed clothes in the bedroom while Connor occupied the bathroom. Josh was dressed before Connor was out, and waited idly in the hallway. The only light illuminating the space was the golden early morning sunlight that pushed through the curtains and blinds of the exterior various windows, Josh didn¡¯t dare turn on any of the actual lights in the house for fear it would be grounds for a sibling or parent to exit their space and proclaim that the light had rudely woken them up from a peaceful sleep and good dreams. Hearing the shower running or the loud ventilation fan that turned on with the bathroom light was already a potential aggravator this early in the morning. But there was no getting around it, and it was really best if they both took care of their business in the bathroom before anyone else woke up. Josh didn¡¯t plan on actually showering, as that risked someone bursting in the bathroom while he had his bandages off, but there was no getting around pretty much every other part of his morning routine.

    Josh executed his normal routine, minus showering, as fast as he could. But something he¡¯d seen before actually getting into the bathroom was stuck in his head and distracting him from what he was trying to do. Connor was now donning a basic tee shirt and jeans outfit, with his mark plainly visible on his arm. It didn¡¯t seem likely at all, considering Josh hadn¡¯t been able to see marks until he¡¯d witnessed one being passed on, but the thought of one of his family members being able to see it terrified him. It was a fear rooted in a selfish desire to be unique in his family, which Josh had never felt before, and a fear that acknowledging a mark could drag a member of his family into an incredibly perilous world that might get them killed; or worse.

    Despite the strange nature of his dream, Josh didn¡¯t dare peak at his own arm. He knew he would need to change the bandage soon, just to keep it clean, but the combination of the thoughts what if someone sees my injury and figures out really happened and what if there¡¯s another false mark there that I¡¯m not prepared to deal with was powerful enough to undermine his desire to recover quickly and safely. On an intellectual level, Josh knew both of those paranoid outcomes were unlikely¡ªthe former more unlikely than the latter¡ªbut there was no escaping those unreasonable fears. Even with the odd sense of peace still present in his heart, the fear that proximity to his family created was stifling.

    The thought of his dream reminded him that Connor had also said he had dreams. Nothing quite on par with Josh, and certainly not any that brought him into contact with beings beyond comprehension. But perhaps there was some kind of link between Connor¡¯s presence and Josh¡¯s ability to dream that way without being overcome by the other entities influence. It was something that Josh eagerly wanted to ask his friend, but as soon as the two of them settled at the kitchen table to sort of breakfast, Chelsea emerged from her room and perched on a nearby chair and waited intently for something to interrupt.

    Not finding any, Josh¡¯s sister made her own abrupt entry into the conversation.

    ¡°So, Connor, since there¡¯s so much stuff you can¡¯t eat, what are you going to have for breakfast? Maybe I could order you something from a restaurant?¡±

    Josh knew the offer was entirely disingenuous, and equally improbable; there wasn¡¯t a single restaurant in the vicinity that delivered breakfast food. Even the third party food delivery services wouldn¡¯t be up and running yet.

    ¡°Or do you usually wait a bit to eat? Six thirty AM sure is early, probably too early for your body to be awake enough to eat anything.¡± Neither Josh nor Connor had taken the first bit of bait, so Chelsea had skipped a few steps and gone straight to complaining about how early it was for her and them to be up.

    ¡°Actually, it¡¯s a bit late for me. I¡¯m usually up at five, I have an early class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday semester.¡±

    Connor couldn¡¯t help but say something in response. Even if he was trying not to take any of the conversational bait being offered, saying anything was enough to get Chelsea started. Anything is an invitation if you are eager to complain, after all.

    ¡°Goodness,¡± Chelsea enunciated the exclamation like she was a southern belle. ¡°How early is your class if you have to get up at five.¡±

    ¡°Six.¡± Connor gave the most basic reply he could, before realizing that it was an even more open ended invitation and adding on, ¡°Which is pretty standard. Most classes are on an hour or hour and a half rotation, especially lectures. There¡¯s actually a two hour lecture class that goes along with one of my chemistry labs I have next semester and I¡¯m not looking forward to it. Lab work is bad enough, but listening to someone talk about lab work and procedures is already tedious in small doses.¡±

    Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!

    Chelsea, ever the opportunist, took a crack at Connor¡¯s train of thought with a, ¡°Holy cow, talk about two hour lectures¡­¡± But she was ignored.

    Josh had picked up the loose end of the conversation that had been interrupted and put it back on track. ¡°Is that one of the four hundred level labs? I think I¡¯ve heard about it. Everyone is always complaining about the cadaver lab unit.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Chemistry in the human body. You have to take a sample from some recently removed stomach tissue and determine the concentration of specific chemical that the professor changes every semester. The analysis part I get, but I don¡¯t understand why they make us take the sample ourselves.¡±

    ¡°Maybe the levels vary too much if it¡¯s been sitting around in a lab?¡± Josh offered.

    ¡°I envisioned it as more of a methods test,¡ªsince each sample could have a lot of differences¡ªand less of an active figure out the correct numerical value sort of assessment, but maybe.¡±

    ¡°You two are disgusting.¡± Chelsea growled.

    Josh took a moment to relish in the small victory of making his sister uncomfortable. ¡°That¡¯s just the kind of thing you learn about in college.¡±

    And that small victory was enough. Chelsea retreated to her own corner of the house, no doubt to wipe away the grime of sleep. But Connor and Josh stayed at the kitchen table. They talked through a light breakfast¡ªConnor had brought fruit leather and paired it with a poached egg, Josh ate toast¡ªand they talked through everyone else¡¯ breakfast too. Even when the rest of Josh¡¯s family arrived for the barbecue around lunch¡ªhis older brother Kyle, who had been the first sibling to move out; and his younger sister Danielle, who had been staying at a friends house over the weekend¡ªJosh stayed put. The kitchen table was the most neutral ground in the entire house until dinner time, when it became the most hostile area in the house. No one lingered there for very long, and no one really talked much while they were there. It was a place for eating and not much else.

    It wasn¡¯t until the neighbors began to gather, and people began to socialize in the back yard, that Josh dared escape the confines of the kitchen. And Connor, without much else to do or anywhere to go, followed.

    Josh¡¯s dad had begun grilling not long after noon, and it had been the smell that had brought people to the backyard. Neighbors and their kids and a family dog or two. Once the smell and promise of food had drawn them in, there were plenty of other things to distract them. Josh¡¯s family had a large back yard. Large enough to fit an decent sized above ground pool, a flower garden, an herb garden, a compost pit (far off and away from the house), a volleyball net, and a reasonably sized patio with multiple tables and sets of chairs. It wasn¡¯t huge, some of the things were smushed together a little, but there was enough space for what looked like thirty people. Or, rather, there were about thirty people gathered in the back yard, including Josh and Connor.

    It was a strangely ordinary sight and it stood in stark contrast with the casual venom that had been passed around through conversation at dinner the night before. Events like this were the few and far between times that Josh ever felt like his family was normal. But now, Josh also saw it far what it was. A good face to mask the reality that lingered just beneath the surface. His entire family was acting. Even his own father, placid and clever as he normally was, was uncharacteristically boisterous at the grill as he made easy small talk and let himself be the center of that conversation. Josh¡¯s mother, who was only directly visible through the open kitchen window as she prepared food inside the house, smiled and watched passively as the people in her care made their mistakes and had their own lives separate from hers. Chelsea was charming and acting as an intermediary with her family and their guests. Kyle, who was normally eager to challenge anyone to anything, regaled anyone that would listen with interesting stories of his work rather than provocations that would anger someone into confronting him. Danielle, who Josh had spent the least time around among his siblings, was the only one that seemed to be honest and normal in her behavior. She was only sixteen, after all, and hadn¡¯t yet codified her own unique brand of misery. But there was something forlorn about her that made Josh focus on his youngest sibling among the crowd of people.

    A sad truth that holds firm for any group wherein there is at least one toxic personality, is that there will always be an easiest target that receives most of the abuse from that toxic person. They are the path of least resistance through which the toxicity flows from the heart of the vile personality into a place where it can be separated from its originator. But as the members of a group shifts, or as the toxic person leaves and joins other groups, the easy target can shift just as easily. Some people are defined in society by their meekness in receiving punishment, and no matter where they go or how many toxic people are in the group that they cling to¡ªor that clings to them¡ªthey will always have that role among those people. Such was the fate of Josh and his family for the majority of his upbringing.

    As soon as Josh could be the butt of a joke, he had been, and he had been the butt of nearly every joke and jab in the family until he had left for college. Lesser men¡ªor, perhaps, other men¡ªmight have been driven to extremes by the torment. But Josh had held fast to the idea that one day he would be around better people, and perhaps his family would see him happy and treat him better. Secretly, he had hoped that perhaps his family would grow sorrowful in his absence and jealous of the people he could choose to spend time with instead of his family. Perhaps, one day, they would treat him the way they all seemed to treat each other. And, among all these secret hopes and life preserving psychological strategies, Josh had never once considered what would happen in the wake of his departure. Who would become the new path of least resistance?

    Chelsea was old enough to fend for herself, but chose to live her family as a means of saving money. Kyle was already free to come and go as he pleased, and only visited when it suited him. His mother and father were, by all accounts, stuck happily together in what felt more and more like a toxic marriage. His younger brother, Charlie, had escaped as well and made his way across the country to art school where he partied to his heart¡¯s content. Danielle had no means of escape and no innate sense to defend herself. She hadn¡¯t been the butt of every joke, because Josh had been there to take those attacks, but now she may well have become the designated victim of the family.

    ¡°Who are you staring at?¡± Connor had asked after a long moment of silence at the patio table they¡¯d taken up residence at.

    ¡°My sister, Danielle.¡± Josh muttered quietly enough that only Connor could hear him. ¡°I¡¯m worried about her.¡±

    A frown and contemplation played across Connor¡¯s face as he also narrowed his eyes at the girl. ¡°Do you want me to do anything? I mean, I know it¡¯s none of my business and I really don¡¯t want to get involved¡­ but I¡¯m younger than you and I guess I could maybe relate to her more?¡±

    ¡°Nah. You probably don¡¯t want to get involved. If what I think is going on actually is, then there¡¯s not much we can really do.¡±

    It was at about that moment that Danielle caught Connor looking at her and made her way over to the patio table where they were sitting.

    ¡°Hi Joshy!¡± She said cheerfully. The greeting reminded Josh of when she¡¯d been a toddler and his was the first name among their siblings she¡¯d been able to really say. ¡°I know you¡¯ve got a friend with you, but you should really start making conversation with other people before it gets too late and no one wants to talk to you.¡±

    ¡°I mostly just came here for the food, Danni. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Then why¡¯d you bring your friend?¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t really have anything else to do so¡ªoh, wait. You haven¡¯t actually met him yet.¡± Josh chuckled to himself as he realized that she had been the first member of their family that hadn¡¯t immediately implied that he and Connor were dating. ¡°This is my roommate, Connor. Connor, this is my little sister Danielle. She¡¯s the youngest out of all of us.¡±

    There was a moment of silence as Danielle sized Connor up. Almost literally sized him up, she was nearly half his height. And Josh thought he saw a hint of speculation cross her expression, but what alarmed him more was the lingering look that she was giving Connor¡¯s arms. Namely, his left arm.

 Ch.33 Chaotic Exit

    ¡°So what are you studying?¡± Danielle asked, doing her best act of making casual conversation. ¡°Are you going into law like my brother?¡±

    ¡°Chemistry, actually. Human chemistry and biology¡­ it¡¯s weird, actually. I don¡¯t technically have a real major, I just consider myself undeclared and take classes that I want think will help me understand the human body better.¡±

    Some element, and Josh sincerely hoped it wasn¡¯t what he thought it was, of Connor¡¯s answer seemed to intrigue Danielle and she made herself more comfortable at the table.

    ¡°Oh, really? Chemistry? Why not just biology? Or medicine?¡±

    ¡°Medical classes are really hard to get into. And biology means I have to deal with a lot of other things, like non-human animal anatomy and plants and things.¡± Connor seemed to be comfortable answering her questions, though he glanced nervously to Josh as if trying to figure out if he should be more alert. ¡°I just want to know about what I want to know about, you know? Like, why are certain people pee-disposed to diabetes? Why do some people have allergies that don¡¯t match the patterns of allergens that other people with similar allergies have? Can anyone really eat cheese and be okay?¡±

    ¡°Connor has a lot of food allergies.¡± Josh offered, his eyes still keen on everything Danielle focused on. ¡°I think he wants to play Frankenstein and make some kind of crazy cure.¡±

    Danielle¡¯s eyes were still fixed on Connor as she replied with a passive, ¡°That¡¯s interesting.¡±

    She wasn¡¯t staring at his arms any more, but she kept going back to them. It wouldn¡¯t have worried Josh so much if they all weren¡¯t sitting so close together. It could be easily dismissed as a casual glance at someone from a distance, but up close it felt kind of like she was scanning him it was so obvious. Part of Josh wondered if there was something more to it, perhaps he had a bar code mark on her arm and was simply waiting for the opportune moment to strike. That fleeting moment of unreasonable paranoia opened Josh¡¯s eyes to the potential threat of everyone at the barbecue with long sleeves on¡ªwhich was most everyone¡ªand his eyes were no longer on his sister.

    For a moment, and just a moment, Josh was distracted by everyone else around him and the two people closest to him faded from focus. And when Josh shook the fear off and told himself that if it was bad Connor would know because his mark would activate, he quickly realized that Connor and Danielle were gone.

    That caused real panic.

    Josh wasn¡¯t sure how long he¡¯d been looking away, but clearly it had been long enough. The back yard was an open space and big enough that he couldn¡¯t quite see everyone at once. Even from the corner of the yard, the various trees and other obscuring elements made it hard to really filter through the people that were gathered. He could make his way through everyone, but that still left the very real possibility that they simply weren¡¯t in the back yard and that that Josh would get stuck talking to someone or asking people if they had seen his roommate or sister. And any questions he asked would only serve to inform people¡ªparticularly, members of his family¡ªthat there was something happening under their noses. And there probably wasn¡¯t, at least not really. Josh trusted Connor not to do anything stupid, but he couldn¡¯t say the same for Danielle. Josh had felt the same familial social pressures she was now likely enduring and he knew that it could drive you to do strange and stupid things. Like maybe try to seduce your siblings roommate.

    That was Josh¡¯s working theory. Why Connor had left still confused him. But it had to have been a good reason. Josh hoped as much. And he hoped desperately that it didn¡¯t have anything to do with marks.

    He felt awful for thinking it, but he couldn¡¯t help but hope that it was because his sister was trying to pull some stupid and desperate move on Connor. It was really the only conclusion that would keep her safe in the grander scheme of things, even if it brought the wrath of their parents on her. As long as it was brought to an end before it became any worse for all of them, because whatever it was that was going on it was definitely not low key. And at that moment, that was all that Josh wanted to be.

    He wasn¡¯t sure what he was hiding from exactly. Maybe it was some kind of artificial intelligence? Something that could see through the cameras of electronic devices. Maybe it was some kind of covert government agency carrying out domestic espionage operations. No one had really been clear on what this mysterious force was that enjoyed the lives of people so much that it killed to keep them happy and oblivious. But just thinking about it as Josh began to worm his way around the back yard made him anxious. Anyone there at the barbecue could have been another discrete and unnoticeable agent.

    Thankfully no one was really noticing him and he looked around. Well, almost no one. There was one pair of eyes trained on Josh, and it was the most unfortunate pair he could have attracted. Saying he had attracted the gaze wasn¡¯t entirely correct, as they had been watching the whole time. But his older brother Kyle had been waiting for his moment to strike at his favorite punching bag. And as Josh was about to circle back around to the kitchen door and check inside the house, Kyle made his move.

    ¡°Hi little bro.¡± Josh was very accustomed to the sneering tone that contrasted his brother¡¯s otherwise kind expression. If anyone was looking, they might think that Kyle was genuinely trying to help. But they would be wrong. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    Josh, not wanting to cause a scene, even though he knew it was probably too late for that now, tried to play along. ¡°You haven¡¯t seen Danielle recently, have you? We were talking and she disappeared while I was distracted.¡±

    Kyle smirked, it was a lazy answer and he knew it. ¡°Important conversation then? Commiserating about the boys you have a crush on?¡±

    ¡°I was going to tell her a trick to dealing with you, actually. Now that she¡¯s going to have to do that more.¡±

    ¡°Oh? What kind of trick?¡±

    ¡°The best kind. The kind that lets me make you lose at your favorite game.¡±

    There was a hint of worry on Kyle¡¯s face, but he tried to play it off with a quirk of the eyebrow. ¡°Are you¡ªare you challenging me? To my favorite game¡­ do you mean arm wrestling?¡±

    ¡°I mean, only if you think you can still beat me. I wouldn¡¯t want you to look like an idiot in front of all these people.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Kyle was interested. Mildly concerned, but interested. ¡°Step into my office. And if you win, I¡¯ll even tell you where you can find Danni and your boy toy.¡±

    The latter part of Kyle¡¯s taunt made the corner of Josh¡¯s lip twitch slightly. Kyle had seen something, and he knew that it was probably what Josh was looking for. But he wasn¡¯t going to tell. Even if he lost he¡¯d still twist things in his favor. The only way Josh would really get Kyle off his back so he could find Connor and Danielle discretely was if he destroyed him. And that¡¯s what he planned to do.

    ¡°You remember the rules, right? College hasn¡¯t clouded your mind over with so much useless nonsense that you forgot how to handle yourself?¡± Kyle goaded as he sat down at a patio table and patted the surface.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you realize how common this kind of stupid game is at frat parties.¡± Josh retorted.

    He tried not to make a big deal out of it, but rather than sit in the seat Kyle was facing at the table, he moved to the other side so that he could face him with the edge of the table on the left. They would only have so much room to put their elbows, at least if they were going to do it at a ninety degree angle without getting too close. There would be a perfect arrangement of things that would work in Josh¡¯s favor, and this was the first step.

    ¡°Alright. Left hands down, right hands up. I don¡¯t want you having to use your injured arm. It wouldn¡¯t be fair anyway, you know, since I¡¯m a lefty.¡± Kyle was already ready to lose, he was giving Josh a slight advantage he could use to play off a loss later. ¡°How¡¯d you get those bandages anyway? Handle some guys athlete¡¯s foot a little too intimately and get an infection?¡±

    ¡°Actually, this is what happens when you slide on concrete going twenty miles an hour and land on your shoulder while you wear a tee shirt. I could show you if you like?¡±

    ¡°Maybe later. That can be your punishment for losing after trying to sound cool.¡±

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    ¡°Alright. Just shut up and square up.¡±

    Josh slammed his right elbow down on the woven metal table top and slid his left hand down so that he could grip Kyle¡¯s hands; left hands beneath for stability, with right arms above for actually competing. Kyle¡¯s grip was firm, but Josh wasn¡¯t intimidated. Instead, he employed the second stage of his plan.

    ¡°You were really eager to hold hands, weren¡¯t you¡­¡± Josh smirked.

    Kyle wouldn¡¯t show that the comment phased him, but Josh knew it was. That was his only real weakness. Despite his desire to be physically superior, Kyle didn¡¯t like to be touched. It was also why he never stayed in relationships for very long. He¡¯d never said as much, but Josh knew. Josh had known Kyle his entire life, how could he not have figured it out.

    ¡°On three.¡± Kyle growled, flexing his fingers and gripping tighter on Josh¡¯s hand. ¡°One, two, three¡ª¡±

    Kyle was cut off by his own forceful grunting as he applied all the strength in his arm immediately. That meant the second part of Josh¡¯s strategy was a success. But part three had to kick off immediately afterward.

    With as little noise as possible, Josh braced himself to stay put. Not to win, but to stay in the middle. He locked his shoulders, pressed his foot down on to the leg of the patio table, and let his whole body go taut. It was enough to stay just a little right of center, as even with all the power Josh could muster, Kyle was absolutely stronger. At least, he was for that first little bit. After about three seconds, Kyle had to take in a deep breath to refill his lungs and try again. Josh used that moment to tip things in his favor. Literally.

    The bend in Josh¡¯s left elbow was placed directly on the edge of the table, and the small bump of his folded arm joint was hooked ever so delicately on the lip. And that hooked bit of elbow was the first point where Josh was applying leverage and ever so gently moving Kyle towards the edge of the table. If it hadn¡¯t been covered in gauze, the pressure directly on the thin and taut skin of his elbow would have been awful. It wasn¡¯t the only point of leverage though. The foot Josh had placed on the foot of the table pushed simultaneously, moving the central column and point of balance for the table ever so slightly in the opposite direction he was pulling Kyle in.

    In that moment of readjustment, Kyle had gotten his breath in and Josh locked up again. It was a more painful and tedious position to hold this time, since he had to balance the table and hold his elbow to the edge of the surface. But it wouldn¡¯t last as long as the first time. Kyle was going to go all out, and that meant the force wasn¡¯t going to last as long. Even as his brother pressed his own elbow down harder on the table, Josh was holding the whole thing up and waiting.

    And as soon as Kyle took another breath, Josh put his force into moving Kyle¡¯s arm for once.

    It didn¡¯t have to make it all the way, and it didn¡¯t. Josh never felt the impact on his left arm that meant he¡¯d actually won. But it was close. Close enough that he could let the balance of the table go and send Kyle toppling over. Which was exactly what happened. Kyle hadn¡¯t felt the shift in balance and he¡¯d put almost his entire body weight on to his right elbow to try and anchor himself. So when the table went, Kyle fell out of his seat and went down with it.

    The maneuver was something Josh had been pondering since the last time his brother had forced him to arm wrestle and nearly dislocated his shoulder in the process. And while Josh hadn¡¯t been confident he could win, it was still the fastest method to resume privacy. Kyle probably knew that Josh had cheated to a degree, but he¡¯d been humiliated in front of other people and that would be enough. Winning and losing was only a pretense when you could scoff off either.

    Kyle wasn¡¯t exactly quiet in defeat though. Not in the way that Josh had expected.

    ¡°Holy hell, Josh. What happened to your arm?¡±

    The comment brought to attention two things that Josh hadn¡¯t being paying any attention to until that moment. The first was that the arm wrestling match had actually garnered a decent crowd of family and neighbors. The second was that all the force Josh had applied to his elbow had loosened the gauze enough to come mostly unraveled from the elbow to the wrist. He had been so focused on his strategy that he hadn¡¯t paid attention to much else, and now he was paying the price for victory.

    And the price was that all eyes were on him.

    The crowd wouldn¡¯t have been that bad if it weren¡¯t for the uncovered wound. But the wound was uncovered and that made things very bad. Since Josh hadn¡¯t reapplied bandaging to his arm in a while, or cleaned the wound out, the scabbing and partly recovered raw skin looked far worse than it really was. The surface was a mottled mix of dark purples where force had been applied and resulted in an ugly bruise, reddish brown glistening scabbed spots, and pink raw skin. The sight of it had brought everyone that was standing near the toppled patio table to an absolute silence. And that silence in turn silenced everyone else.

    By some miracle though, some absurd twist of fate¡ªor maybe it wasn¡¯t fate, and Connor was just an incredibly perceptive madman¡ªthe voice Josh had been listening for prior to the arm wrestling match was heard over everything else in the back yard. And the words it spoke were powerful enough to turn everyone¡¯s head towards the open kitchen door.

    ¡°I thought you said you were pregnant?¡±

    Josh wanted to gawk too, but everyone else¡¯ dismay was the perfect opportunity to slip away. Not even Kyle, stunned and prone on the the concrete patio as he was, noticed Josh slowly back away to the edge of the pool. From the cover of the pool to the back of a gum tree. And from the cover of the gum tree to the corner of the side hedge that ran along the farther side of the house opposite the kitchen.

    There was shouting, Josh recognized his mother¡¯s angry voice, but none of the words being said amid what was quickly becoming an awkward commotion could be distinguished. By the time anyone looked back to see where Josh was, he was already at the front door.

    No one had been lingering inside apart from Josh¡¯s mother and, apparently, Connor and Danielle. When Josh cracked the front door open to sneak inside, he began to be able to make out some of the shouting match that was going on.

    ¡°How dare you sneak around like a little harlot!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a harlot, mom! We¡¯re dating!¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me you were dating anyone! So, no. You aren¡¯t dating! And you won¡¯t be dating anyone else until you graduate high school and move out from under my roof.¡± Josh¡¯s mom¡¯s voice was quickly transitioning from a roar of anger to a loud hiss of contempt. ¡°My roof, my rules, and that means no more boys.¡±

    Danielle had some other colorful things to say, but Josh could only make out bits and pieces. Danielle was loud, but Josh was focused. He had all his things gathered back into his backpack when he noticed Connor creeping into the bedroom behind him with the small bag he¡¯d left in the bathroom.

    Neither of them spoke. Josh raised his eyebrows, as if to question what was going on, but Connor just shook his head and pointed back towards the front door.

    With as much silence as they could muster, they made it back out the front door of the house and part way down the street before even turning back to see if anyone had seen their departure. To the best of their knowledge, no one had.

    Two blocks away at the nearest bus stop, Josh finally paused to try and secure his bandages again. After fumbling for a few minutes in silence, Connor shooed away Josh¡¯s hand and did it himself. It took far less time for Connor to accomplish the task, and before the next bus showed up, the two of them looked almost normal.

    ¡°Pregnant?¡± Josh finally asked after they had boarded a bus. ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°I guessed.¡± Connor shook his head, still dazed by the encounter. ¡°She was asking a lot of questions about chemicals in makeup and stuff, like if scented lotion is bad for your skin, and then she jumped right into the topic of sushi and raw meats. If I hadn¡¯t had an assignment on teratogens, I wouldn¡¯t have even noticed. It was basically the kind of thing I was already talking about, like my allergies.¡±

    Josh had to think about that. If Connor had just been guessing, than there was a chance it wasn¡¯t true. And Josh hoped it wasn¡¯t, for Danielle¡¯s sake. It didn¡¯t matter what she did about being pregnant, if she actually was, but his parents were going to make her life a living hell. They¡¯d found Josh reading a comic book rated above his age once, and because he¡¯d been doing it in his bedroom with the door closed they took his bedroom door off the hinges so he couldn¡¯t hide anything.

    It wasn¡¯t until they had made it from the next bus stop to the subway station that Josh finally managed to ask the question that was really bothering him.

    ¡°She pulled you inside to talk about that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, no.¡± Connor almost chuckled, but the topic was still too serious. ¡°She was trying to put the moves on me. She was trying to inch me towards he bedroom. And I have the most paranoid idea that it was probably so she could blame me for being pregnant a little later down the line and offload part of the blame on you.¡±

    Josh groaned as the theory clicked into place. ¡°That sounds about right. But why on earth did you let her lure you in that far?¡±

    ¡°She was eyeing my arm, right?¡± Connor almost sounded confused that Josh hadn¡¯t put two and two together. ¡°I saw you clock that. I needed to make sure if she could see my mark or not.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why?¡± Josh said, a little too loudly. ¡°Even if she could see it, you weren¡¯t going to do anything¡­ right?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a big deal, Josh. If someone sees your mark, and you confirm it, that person is partly your responsibility. You need to make sure that someone makes contact with them, if not you, that can help ease them into a position where they can make an educated decision about whether or not they want a mark too.¡±

    It made sense, and Josh didn¡¯t like that. He didn¡¯t exactly want to be responsible for other people just because they could see something. And it felt like a good way to get caught by someone that suspected you had a mark but couldn¡¯t prove it. But what else could you do? If it meant you could help someone, lighten the burden of the inevitable weight of being forgotten and hunted down. It might even save someone¡¯s life.

    ¡°So¡ª¡±Josh stared down at his hands uncomfortably. ¡°Could she?¡±

    ¡°As far as I could tell, no.¡± Connor shook his head, reliving the relief he¡¯d felt after his line of questioning. ¡°I think she was just looking at my arms.¡±

    Though it was initially to joke about Connor¡¯s arms, Josh grabbed hold of Connor¡¯s bicep and gave it a mocking shake. But it was solid.

    ¡°You do have good arms.¡± Josh muttered, joking. ¡°Pity you missed these guns though.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I saw.¡± Connor burst out laughing, ignoring everyone else around him on the subway car. ¡°That¡¯s why I made that distraction.¡±

    ¡°Well, thank you.¡±

    ¡°Couldn¡¯t let you upstage me.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    It was dinner time when Josh and Connor made it back to campus. It was dark out and the city lights were a welcome sight that felt safe and familiar. Even though they¡¯d witnessed an attempted assassination not five blocks away and forty-eight hours ago, it still felt like a reprieve.

 Ch.34 Awkward Reorganization

    The apartment was dark when Connor and Josh returned. They were the first to make it back, and deep down they were worried that that meant they had been too early to return. It likely wasn¡¯t much safer than it had been immediately after the confrontation behind the Charming Cat Cafe, but they couldn¡¯t avoid their normal lives for much longer without drawing even more suspicion. Josh had already missed too many classes as it was. And while that felt like a very superficial problem compared to being hunted and killed by a shady agent of some unknown organization, it was still a serious problem. And it was one of many that was on his mind as Connor and flipped the lights on and locked the door behind them.

    ¡°I¡¯m kinda bummed we didn¡¯t actually get to eat any meat.¡± Connor grumbled, making a B line fore the kitchen. ¡°It smelled really good. Which was conflicting.¡±

    ¡°Conflicting?¡±

    ¡°Like, that whole time we were at your family¡¯s place¡­ like. They had a lot of nice accomplishments and stuff. Like your mom had all those letters on the wall from the students she helped, and your dad has those awards for crime prevention in his office. The house was well kept, things were neat and clean, the food was¡ªas far as I could tell¡ªvery good. But they were awful.¡±

    Josh was about to agree, but Connor cut him off with an apology. ¡°I know it¡¯s not my place to say that, I on;y spent about a day with them and they¡¯re not my family. But that was awful.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for your politeness after the fact, but you were right the first time. They are bad people.¡± Josh chewed on his lip as he carried on. ¡°And I think that bad people are capable of doing decent and good things. Same way good people can do bad things.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just a shame that people that can do so many good things are just¡­ so bad.¡±

    Connor seemed to have gotten more comfortable complaining about Josh¡¯s family, and while Josh knew that it wasn¡¯t incorrect, it still made him mildly uncomfortable. They were still his family, and he was the one that was supposed to be complaining more.

    ¡°But the worst part¡ªthe absolute worst part¡ªis that they don¡¯t realize it.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I think they know.¡± Josh grumbled. ¡°I don¡¯t see how they couldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I think, and again my experience was limited, but I think they actually thought they were doing the right thing. Or at the very least surviving.¡± Connor was going through the fridge now, digging for something to eat, and his voice was being muffled a bit. ¡°Your parents, at least, they probably think that they¡¯re doing the right thing. They have their own trauma, probably, that lends to their behavior, but they also probably see how it can be problematic. But I¡¯m betting they carry on with it because they think that either the ends justify the means or that they turned out okay and so it must be fine.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re talking like you have some experience. I didn¡¯t know you were taking family psych classes too.¡± There was a hint of a sneer in Josh¡¯s words, which he regretted, but it was a natural reaction to his family being attacked.

    Connor paused. Suddenly he was very serious, as he turned away from the fridge and put down the small container of the food he¡¯d chosen as his dinner.

    ¡°I have some experience being in an awful family too. And I won¡¯t trouble you with my life¡¯s story, because I don¡¯t want to come off like I¡¯m trying to compete to see who had the more miserable childhood. But I understand what it¡¯s like. So, if you ever want to talk about it¡­ you know¡­ I don¡¯t mind.¡±

    Josh wasn¡¯t exactly sure how to respond. It wasn¡¯t the sort of conversation he was prepared for amid all his other anxieties, but it was a relieving thought. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± Connor offered a gentle, but hesitant, smile. ¡°Anyway, did you want some beef and black beans? Or were you going to eat something else?¡±

    After a quick inspection of the offered food container, Josh nodded. ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll take some. Just plate them separate so I can put spices on mine.¡±

    ¡°Why would I put your food and my food on the same plate¡­¡± Connor narrowed his eyes.

    ¡°Because you wouldn¡¯t want to wash extra dishes?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to rinse them off if I¡¯m the one preparing the food. That¡¯s the fair way to do it at least.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I guess that¡¯s fair.¡±

    ---

    Sara had not expected to be the first to return. Though, she had expected a different sight than what she walked in on. The boys hadn¡¯t felt safe enough to split up into different rooms, but it had felt too awkward to share a proper bedroom; so, they were sprawled out on the couch. They had planned to keep a rotating watch so that someone would be awake an alert if something went wrong, but they quickly collapsed in sleep after they¡¯d each taken a one hour turn at being awake. And because Sara was coming back at around two in the morning, not even her noisy jostling of the door woke them up. And she couldn¡¯t blame them. She was tired too.

    Sara had spent her time alone at a camp ground in a nature reserve. It had meant taking four different buses, and then hiking several miles both ways. But it had been refreshing. Mentally refreshing. Physically, she smelled like sweat and dirt. She checked. She¡¯d checked several times, but she did so again to compare to the general stink of the boys. They¡¯d been on public transit for a good chunk of their day as well. So even when Sara dropped her bag by the door and walked over to the couch, shoved Josh¡¯s leg off the middle cushion, and plopped down between the boys¡­ no one woke up.

    It didn¡¯t take Sara very long to get to sleep either. She just reclined, closed her eyes, and let the world fade around her.

    By some stroke of luck, no one else even got close to the penthouse that night. Not even on the same floor or even another penthouse floor. Lucky because, not only had Sara left the door unlocked after she returned home, she had left it open. And when morning came, it was still open.

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    Connor was thee first one to wake up, and the first to notice the door.

    ¡°Josh! Someone¡¯s broken in! Get the bat!¡± Connor leapt off the back of the couch to lunge toward the study area where they¡¯d left a wooden baseball bat for home defense purposes. He was, however, off balance and landed face down on the hard wood floor.

    The shouting had worked though. Josh was up. And much like Connor, off balance. He also had the disadvantage of having been moved slightly in his sleep, which made him even more disoriented. He hadn¡¯t really heard what was being shouted, either, so he merely heard shouting and reacted by attempting to dive deeper into the couch.

    The one person who had not woken up, was Sara. She was far more tired and operating on far less sleep. Not even Connor¡¯s shouting had stirred her. But being headbutted in the stomach by Josh, as he dove to safety, definitely woke her up.

    And the chain reaction continued. Sara bolted upright off the couch, brushing Josh¡¯s mostly limp and barely awake body to the floor in the process, and drew a knife from a sheath tucked behind the inside of her waistband. She had hidden it for her travel back, but not had the energy to actually disarm herself when she¡¯d made it home. And while she wasn¡¯t entirely conscious either, her instincts were perhaps the sharpest of the three. So without even really paying any mind to what she was doing, she lunged with the knife for Josh, who rolled away¡ªsleepily unaware that he had just dodged death by a matter of a foot¡ªwhile Connor scrambled to the baseball bat and then rushed to slam the door shut.

    It was the slamming of the door that brought everyone to their senses. It was loud and sharp and jarring. And while they all had varying levels of sleep deprived headache, they were fully conscious.

    ¡°What happened?!¡± Sara shouted. ¡°Where¡¯s the threat?!¡±

    ¡°The door was open, someone was inside the apartment!¡± Connor shouted back.

    ¡°The¡­¡± Sara paused before going red in the face. ¡°No. No. I think¡­ I think I left it open last night.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Josh grumbled, still on the floor and perhaps the least focused of the three.

    ¡°I got home late last night, and¡­ I think I just dropped my bag and crashed.¡± Sara feigned a nervous laugh and brushed her hand through her hair as she tried to recall the events of the night prior. ¡°I remember opening the door. But that¡¯s about it.¡±

    Connor deflated from his alert posture and sunk to the floor with his back against the door. Somewhere on the way down, his tank top rolled up around his chest as he sank. ¡°Geez, Sara.¡±

    It was a frustrated exclamation, but it quickly devolved into laughter from all three.

    ¡°So how was the family barbecue?¡± Sara asked between breaths.

    Connor choked out snorting laugh, but Josh answered before he could. ¡°Oh, it went real bad. Apparently Connor knocked up my sister.¡±

    Sara¡¯s face went white in a mixture of emotions that Josh couldn¡¯t pin down, but Connor lost it cackling.

    ¡°No. No.¡± Connor tried to correct the story, but he was having a hard time talking. ¡°I allegedly got her pregnant. At least that¡¯s what she was going to tell her parents before I outed her.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s awful, Conner! How could you do that?

    Sara¡¯s reaction was far different than Josh expected, but he understood why. Outing someone¡¯s pregnancy to their parents, especially when it was a secret was really messed up. But this had been a special occasion and Danielle had been far more twisted than Josh had expected.

    ¡°It was warranted.¡± Josh widened his eyes to try and express how absurd and horrible the whole ordeal had been. ¡°My little sister was trying to lure him to her room so that she could get caught or claim that he¡¯d coerced her when she couldn¡¯t hide it any more. Which, honestly, fits with her pattern. I hadn¡¯t noticed it when she was younger, but she has always been the type to let other people get in trouble for her. The youngest child can do n wrong, after all.¡±

    ¡°And she still wasn¡¯t the worst member of your family.¡± Conor rolled his eyes as he said it. It still made Josh uncomfortable, but it wasn¡¯t inaccurate.

    ¡°I had to throw my brother on the concrete patio, lie to my older sister multiple times, agree that my younger brother was a horrible worthless drunk on several occasions, and go along with both of my parents toxic parenting philosophy. And the whole time, every single one of them joked that Connor and I were dating.¡±

    Sara¡¯s face was scrunched up with scrutiny and disbelief. ¡°I can¡¯t tell if you¡¯re lying to me or exaggerating¡­¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s being completely honest. It was actually worse than it sounded too.¡± Connor chimed in, his laughter finally fading. ¡°But what about you? Did you get chased through the woods by assassins?¡±

    Mention of her trip made Sara perk up immediately. ¡°No. But I saw a doe, two opossums, a great horned owl, and a set of bear tracks.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a real spirit quest.¡± Connor said with a smirk. ¡°Did you have any profound realizations while you were out there?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Nature is beautiful and enjoying it alone is boring.¡± Sara said with a humph.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take your word for it.¡± Josh muttered quietly as he finally got off the floor and dusted himself off. ¡°I¡¯m not a big outdoors person, so¡­ yeah.¡±

    There was a pause in conversation while each of them digested the events they had missed. Josh inevitability began to linger on the things that had been making him anxious the night before. But being with both Sara and Connor made him feel much more at ease, even after the spectacular mishap they¡¯d had after waking up.

    ¡°Where do you think Margot is?¡± Josh was the one to ask the question, but they were all thinking it. Though, Josh was thinking it for a very different reason.

    Sara shrugged, not wanting to think about where her mother had run off to hide. ¡°She¡¯s fine, probably. But I doubt she¡¯ll turn up for a week or so. If she¡¯s following her normal patterns, she¡¯s making a discrete but traceable path across state lines. She¡¯ll lure the attention of anyone following her, so they¡¯ll be looking far away from here. And when she thinks it¡¯s safe to come back, she¡¯ll disappear completely and make her way back. She¡¯ll probably scout out around us a bit before making herself known, but it shouldn¡¯t be that long.¡±

    ¡°Is that¡­ normal?¡±

    Josh¡¯s question had clearly struck a nerve, but Sara just shrugged again. ¡°Kind of? Margot wasn¡¯t actively being hunted down until I was most of the way done with high school. So it¡¯s kind of a newer pattern of behavior, but this has happened a few times. Though¡­ she¡¯s only actually been attacked twice before this.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± It wasn¡¯t exactly the kind of thing Josh had been expecting. He knew she was dodgy and had been in combat before, but being singled out while home seemed like an awful thing to have to worry about.

    ¡°Both times while she was away from home, so I was mostly safe. But it was a gray man both times too. So they had probably kept track of me to some degree.¡±

    ¡°Gray men are what Margot calls the kind of people who blend in absurdly well.¡± Connor jumped in, preemptively answering Josh¡¯s question. ¡°Special operations and espionage types. The kind of people that anyone trying to hide probably won¡¯t notice until it¡¯s too late.¡±

    ¡°The guy at the cafe was like that. I couldn¡¯t tell you what he looked like at all. I mean, I could, but it was just a really normal looking guy.¡± Josh held his hand to his forehead as he tried to remember, but even the more simple and easy to recall memories seemed out of focus around the assassin. ¡°The only real thing that stood out was the bar code tattoo on his arm, and I got the impression that I was the only one that could see it.¡±

    ¡°Is that what happened?¡± Sara raised in eyebrow.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I just realized I never really got a chance to tell you guys what happened at the cafe. And everything that happened with Gul¡­¡±

    Connor made his way back across the room towards the couch to get into a more comfortable position to listen to the story. ¡°We need to hear everything.¡±

    ¡°I really want to tell you guys everything. But¡ª¡± Josh paused as he took stock of himself. ¡°But, can I shower first? I haven¡¯t really changed the gauze in two days¡­¡±

 Ch.35 Renewed Focus

    ¡°...But that¡¯s the gist of it.¡± Josh concluded his recounting of events and was met with confused looks.

    It had taken some time to get to that point. Everyone had taken turns in and out of the bathroom, gradually alleviating the stench of sweaty college student from the apartment. And breakfast had been eaten too, though they had moved over to the living room to eat so that they could sit more comfortably while Josh had started recounting events. Josh had taken up residence in an armchair, while Sara and Connor were positioned across the coffee table from him on the couch. They were all on the edges of their seats and leaning over to eat their food over the table though, so it felt like they were all closer together than they actually were.

    ¡°They really were as cryptic as they could be¡­¡± Connor muttered while he shook his head in confusion. ¡°I mean, some of that made sense. Like the part about being left behind, that¡¯s pretty par for the course of getting a mark. But all that nonsense with the bar code tattoo. What was up with that?¡±

    ¡°You think maybe it¡¯s a different kind of mark?¡± Sara asked, quietly.

    It wasn¡¯t the first time Josh had broached the subject with her, it had been one of his initial questions when he¡¯d shown her his sketch of the alien mark from his dreams. But it hadn¡¯t been as real then. None of it had been. Back then, Josh barely felt like marks were real at all. But now he was engrossed in the mess of marks and alien intelligence and reality beyond his mortal understanding. It hadn¡¯t even been that long either. Josh tried to count back the days to when he had been normal, but it hadn¡¯t been more than two weeks and there were several days of that where he¡¯d been mostly unconscious. But that reminded him.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about the bar code, but I did have another dream about the other mark¡­¡± Josh wanted to tell them everything about that too, but it was much more complicated to try and describe.

    Mention of the other mark and a dream seemed to get a negative reaction, particularly from Connor. ¡°But I was with you the whole time. Is it getting worse?¡±

    ¡°No, no.¡± Josh held up his hands to try and correct the direction of the conversation. ¡°It wasn¡¯t a nightmare and the other thing didn¡¯t attack me. I just kept my distance, and it kept its distance. It was like the first dream, but we both sort of decided to let each other know that we were there. I spent most of the dream just looking into the void, really. It was kind of wild. I can¡¯t put it into words, but it felt like I was on a whole other level of understanding.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a lot to take in, Josh.¡± Sara still sounded worried, but it was quickly overcome with a trusting smile that made Josh feel like she was listing. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re going to be okay? The dreams might not be bad right now, but if you¡¯re having them while we¡¯re still around, they might be getting too powerful for you to deal with.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not really as worried about it as I was before.¡± Josh ran his fingers through the hair on the back of his head as he tried to put together the words Gul had used to describe the situation. ¡°If it really is another thing trying to communicate with me, like Gul said, it might be just as terrified of me. But that¡¯s assuming that it can feel fear¡­ It¡¯s actually really hard to think about. But I¡¯m probably just as alien to it as I think it is to me. Whatever it¡¯s doing, it might think is perfectly natural. It could have no idea it¡¯s hurting me like it is. And I think we both kind of recognize that now.¡±

    ¡°You think you¡¯ve actually mad e that clear?¡± Connor asked. ¡°Because I¡¯d still be really nervous. Just because it could be peaceful and just trying to make contact, doesn¡¯t mean it is.¡±

    Josh nodded in slow agreement. It hadn¡¯t felt like a very deep connection, and Connor was right, it was entirely possible that the creature was incredibly dangerous and malicious. But it hadn¡¯t felt that way exactly during the last dream. ¡°You¡¯re right. I don¡¯t think I ever want to move any further into any sort of communication with it, because it felt really weirdly personal just letting it know I existed. I don¡¯t really even want to do that much again.¡±

    ¡°Just in case it does get worse¡­¡± Sara started her question quietly, but then trailed off before she could actually say what she wanted.

    ¡°That¡¯s not like you. What were you going to say?¡± Josh was trying to look into Sara¡¯s eyes, but she was avoiding his gaze.

    ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ I know it¡¯s still so soon. But you were pretty gung ho about giving up on going back to a normal life. And it¡¯s been a few days since you decided you were going to try and get deeper information about marks and stuff¡­¡± Sara trailed off again, but now Josh knew where she was headed.

    ¡°You want to know if I want a mark or not.¡±

    ¡°I do too, but I wasn¡¯t going to ask.¡± Connor chimed in.

    Josh leaned back in the armchair he¡¯d positioned himself in opposite the couch. ¡°Why not? It¡¯s a fair question.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s personal though, and it¡¯s not like we can pass a mark on to you.¡±

    ¡°Connor, I¡¯ve heard you snore though the night and you¡¯ve met my family. By all accounts, we have a more intimate relationship than anyone else I¡¯ve ever dated.¡± Josh frowned as he said it. It had been uncomfortable enough when his family had teased him about it, but it made sense in a certain light.

    ¡°That¡¯s kind of sad.¡± Sara said with a slow nod. ¡°Have you never seen your significant other naked, then?¡±

    The question had come out of left field and Josh couldn¡¯t do anything else but stare at her in disbelief.

    ¡°Or is that¡­ did you two¡­?¡± Sara didn¡¯t actually finish her questions, but she was wagging her eyebrows.

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    ¡°Nope.¡± Connor answered calmly and confidently. ¡°It would have given his family too much satisfaction.¡±

    Josh was beat red in the face by that point and no amount of shaking or light slaps to the face were changing that. But at least, after a moment, Josh managed to speak.

    ¡°Anyway¡­ I was going to say, yes.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you¡¯ve decided? Or¡ª¡±

    Josh cut Sara off. ¡°Yup.¡±

    ¡°¡ªOh. And you decided¡­?¡±

    ¡°I decided that I would like to not be the most helpless person in this apartment.¡±

    ¡°So¡­?¡± Connor canted his head to the side, asking a whole new question with even fewer words.

    ¡°I think I should move in too¡­ if you guys are okay with that?¡± Josh hadn¡¯t been very sure about that part, but getting a mark seemed to lend directly to him moving in. ¡°But it had kind of been implied¡­ I know you guys never really asked, and I don¡¯t want to assume anything.¡±

    ¡°Oh, no. Absolutely. If you¡¯re getting a mark, then you have to move in too. It¡¯d just be too weird to have to navigate around Kerry with everything else you¡¯ll have to learn.¡±

    The mention of his roommate caught Josh off guard. He had almost totally forgotten about him. It started a sort of downward spiral of worries in Josh¡¯s mind as he realized that there would be additional steps in actually moving residences. He would have to pack all of his things and move them out, change his address with the dorm administrator and the school administrator; and Kerry would probably be there for all of it. And, frankly, this whole ordeal was almost his fault. If Josh had never relented and started the astronomy course with Kerry, he never would have met Sara and none of what had transpired since would have happened. Josh would have still been perfectly normal and probably bound for a life of relative success. There would have been no dealing with assassins and alien entities and other realities. There would have been several more semesters of college courses and mundane assignments.

    ¡°Actually¡­ Maybe¡­ could we move my things over here sooner rather than later?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡±¡ªConnor leaned to check the digital clock on the oven in the kitchen¡ª¡±almost ten already. Classes are probably getting into full swing. We could probably get in and out in one or two trips while Kerry¡¯s in classes.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you don¡¯t have that much stuff in your room¡­¡± Sara muttered.

    The comment caught Connor off guard and he turned to look at his best friend with confusion and shock. ¡°Sara Wilder, have you been in a college boy¡¯s room alone with said boy? In direct violation of your mothers rules?¡±

    ¡°It was one time after Josh had that first nightmare, and he was way too afraid to actually do anything. C¡¯mon, Connor, you know I¡¯m not about to sleep around campus.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the one that went boy crazy in high school.¡± Connor held his hands up in defense.

    ¡°I thought Margot was going to ship me off to some private college in Europe after high school to keep me safe, I didn¡¯t think I was going to get another shot at a normal relationship after graduating.¡±

    ¡°Can we get back to the problem of me¡­¡± Josh tried to interject, but he was too quiet and the two of them were getting into a heated¡ªalbeit pseudo-serious¡ªdebate.

    ¡°We both know that you developed the tee shirt test after several months of practice, Sara.¡±

    ¡°And you helped!¡±

    Josh buried his face in his hands. He had expected the day to go very differently than it was already. He had already missed one class and he didn¡¯t think he¡¯d make the next. He was avoiding Kerry entirely, and now Sara and Connor were slowly devolving into an argument that was becoming less of a back and forth banter and more of a genuine bickering.

    ¡°Whatever.¡± Sara grumbled, loud enough that it snapped Josh back to reality. ¡°We can talk about that later, we still need to figure out how we¡¯re going to move Josh on such short notice.¡±

    There was a quiet minute of contemplation as all three pondered the best course of action. It was more than two blocks from the dorms to the Benedictine and that was moving through campus, which Josh wanted to avoid. They didn¡¯t have a car at their disposal, and relying on public transport was either too pricey if they used a cab or too unreliable if they tried to wait for a bus. And it would probably end up being more than one trip, so walking meant it could take over an hour. And Kerry could stop back by the apartment between any of the blocks of classes; in fact he often did, since the dorms were so close to several of his classes it was convenient leave books and other things there to trade out between classes.

    ¡°What if we do it slowly?¡± Connor offered. He was the first to speak up and he had an odd mischievous confidence in his voice that told Josh he definitely had more of a plan than either he or Sara did.

    ¡°Explain.¡± Sara hummed. She couldn¡¯t tell where he was going with his idea, but she was willing to entertain any strategy at that moment.

    ¡°The campus post office is right across the street from the dorms, right? What if we just box everything up that we can¡¯t fit in one suitcase or backpack and mail it here? We still have boxes left over from when we moved our crap here, and shipping labels too. It would be less than a five minute walk from the room to the post office, and we could do the whole thing in under a half hour.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ kind of brilliant, actually.¡± Josh wasn¡¯t prepared for the idea at all, but it definitely sounded doable. The only issue was¡ª¡±But I can¡¯t really afford that. They charge shipping costs based on weight, not distance.¡±

    ¡°Bleh, not an issue. If you¡¯re getting a mark and you¡¯re moving in, you get a share of the savings.¡± Sara shrugged the issue off as casually as one might dismiss a fear of the ocean while stranded in the desert. ¡°And before you say that you can¡¯t accept that, you need to get it in your head that it really doesn¡¯t matter. Money is fake and as soon as our marks get activated it¡¯s all gone anyway.¡±

    ¡°Wait, what?¡± Josh was lost. Money as a fake thing kind of made sense, but the money going away didn¡¯t click.

    ¡°When our marks get activated, we have to get out of town on a dime and book it to the nearest entrance to the other reality, to the abstract world. When that happens, all bets are off and there¡¯s virtually no way we¡¯ll be able to come back here and resume life as normal.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ Margot lived here for¡ªshe had you¡­¡±

    ¡°Margot came back here after she¡¯d been activated, joined the military, and started her life from scratch so that she could help other marked people navigate this world.¡± Sara shot back. ¡°I was barely a factor to consider when that all happened. And I know that¡¯s a lot to take in too, but you should really be prepared to let things go when the time is right. All of this is nice, but it¡¯s extremely temporary.¡±

    ¡°O¡ªokay.¡±Josh tried to nod and accept it. It was difficult, and it didn¡¯t fully make sense, but he didn¡¯t question it. ¡°Right. Okay, you guys can help pay for it the shipping.¡±

    The issue of shipping Josh¡¯s things hardly seemed like the issue at hand anymore. Sara had just dropped a bombshell on his expectations of what life would be like if he got a mark. And deep down he had already suspected as much, but that wasn¡¯t something he had fully accepted as part of his future yet. There were a lot of things that Josh was avoiding thinking about in conjunction with receiving a mark. And he wasn¡¯t about to let those things cloud his judgement. Survival needed to come first, keeping the people around him safe would come second, and the other factors of his life could trail behind that.

    ¡°So, we¡¯re all going to be skipping classes today, I guess¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, absolutely.¡± Connor announced with a nod.

    ¡°It¡¯s for a good cause.¡± Sara shook her head in agreement with him.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get going then.¡± Josh said with a deep sigh. ¡°Next period starts at eleven thirty. We need to get some eyes on Kerry before that.¡±

 Ch.36 Penultimate Departure

    ¡°He¡¯s in the building now, we have just over an hour and a half before his class is out and he comes back to the apartment for lunch.¡± Josh hissed over his shoulder.

    Kerry had been easy enough to spot going into and out of the dorm, he had a pretty consistent routine that he followed. It had overlapped enough with Josh¡¯s that there was very little guesswork involved in planning their approach to the dorm. They had a stack of four broken down moving boxes, Josh¡¯s backpack, and a dream.

    There wasn¡¯t a lot of time to waste, and Josh didn¡¯t want to waste any. He practically pushed Connor and Sara into the dorm in front of him. At this point, he didn¡¯t really care who saw him go in and out as long as it wasn¡¯t Kerry. Kerry would try and stop him in the hall or in the apartment and talk to him. He might have even tried to convince Josh not to move out or to get some distance from Sara and Connor. But that was the last thing Josh was prepared to do. They were the only thing keeping the nightmares and the alien influence of whatever it was that was trying to make contact with him at bay. The only other option was to get a mark so that he could do that himself, but Margot was the only one that could do that and there was no reaching her until she was satisfied that things had calmed down and it was safe to return.

    In the mean time, Josh was left with the task of avoid those conversations and thoughts altogether. If he could get in and out with his things before Kerry got back, he could handle any problems with a more distance method of communication that would give him a lot more control over the situation. Kerry might still try and stop by the Benedictine, since he knew where Connor and Sara lived¡ªwhich Josh regretted, but couldn¡¯t undo¡ªbut that wasn¡¯t as pressing of an issue. The Benedictine felt like a fortress, even if only superficially because it would be where Sara and Connor were. That was what really mattered anyway.

    That was what Josh kept telling himself, at least; all the way from the front entrance of the dorms to the apartment door. He just had to get himself out and into a more secure location. He could handle the rest after that was done.

    ¡°Let¡¯s start with two boxes. I think we can condense some things.¡± Josh directed as soon as they were standing at the entrance to his bedroom door. ¡°And we can forget about pretty much everything in the kitchen. It¡¯s just cheap dry good and second hand cookware.¡±

    Connor didn¡¯t waste any time unfolding the boxes and securing them with packing tape. Josh was already starting to pull things from shelves and hand them to Sara. It was haphazard, but the more Josh thought about it, the less any of these things actually mattered. He had a few knickknacks, some books, spare school supplies, his computer, clothes, textbooks, notebooks¡­ and that was pretty much it. And of all those things, the ones he really cared about were the things that were required for him to stay undetected and discrete. That meant clothes and school supplies.

    And hygiene. Josh had totally forgotten about what he¡¯d left in the bathroom. A decent portion of what he¡¯d packed in his initial overnight bag had been toiletries, but there were still things he¡¯d left behind. Extra soap, shaving implements, his towel¡­ Other things¡­

    ¡°Actually, could you pop up that small box too? I just remembered I have some more things in the bathroom.¡±

    Sara looked like she was at a loss of what to do as Josh started to walk out of the room. ¡°What about the rest of this?¡±

    ¡°Just get the bedding and anything on the shelf that isn¡¯t a knickknack.¡±

    ¡°Gotcha!¡± Connor called after Josh, but he was practically already in the bathroom.

    Josh ripped through the cabinets and vanity area as fast as he could, piling everything up under his arm as he identified the various things he considered necessary to keep healthy. It was pretty much just the things he felt he¡¯d need to buy again if he left them behind. Only the things he used regularly. And by the time he made it back to the bedroom, Connor had already assembled the smallest of the moving boxes and held it out for Josh to dump all of the toiletries in. The first box was nearly full as well. With the bedding having taken up most of the space. Without further direction beyond that, Sara was left nervously picking through the school supplies from the shelf that hanged over Josh¡¯s desk. He was glad none of the furniture in the apartment was actually his. It would have been a big hassle to drag a desk or a chair to the post office, not that there¡¯d be anywhere to put it by the time that it eventually got to the Benedictine.

    All in all, the three of them made good time and managed to pack everything that Josh cared about into three boxes and his backpack. Everything in the backpack were things that he expected to use within the next couple of days; like clean clothes, school books, and shaving implements. The rest he could live without for a few days. At least, he hoped so.

    ¡°I think we can do this in one trip.¡± Josh was trying to muster confidence in his voice, but it had gone so smoothly that he expected things to go wrong quickly at the first sign of trouble. He just didn¡¯t have any idea what that trouble would be.

    Not initially, anyway.

    Once Josh had led the way out of the apartment, making sure to leave his key and a short note for Kerry on the kitchen table, he was practically running down the stairs towards the exit of the dorm. He even managed to get outside safely undetected. But that was where his luck ended. When he looked around the quad outside the dorms, he Saw Kerry walking casually towards him. Or, rather, towards the dorms. But he caught sight of Josh, box in hand, and then Connor and Sara behind him. They stood out easily with their exaggerated load.

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    For a moment, Josh thought Kerry was going to try and catch up with them. He was still on the opposite side of the quad and they weren¡¯t headed in his direction, but if it was serious he might have run after them. So Josh started running. He didn¡¯t wait to see what Kerry would do. Josh was fueled by guilt, fear, and a desire to accomplish the task at hand. He didn¡¯t even look back to make sure Sara and Connor were following him. When he finally looked up and found himself at the post office, they were right next to him, but he was panting so heavily he wasn¡¯t sure how long it had taken him to recover or how long they¡¯d been there.

    But Kerry was gone. At least physically. Josh couldn¡¯t see a trace of his now former roommate. But as soon he was confident that Kerry had run after him, Josh¡¯s phone buzzed in his pocket and a notification saying that he¡¯d received a text from Kerry was plainly visible on the screen.

    It read, ¡°Are you going to tell me what¡¯s going on, or are you going to just keep running away from me?¡±

    Josh didn¡¯t want to reply at first, but he realized that the longer he took to respond the more likely it was that Kerry would seek him out to try and settle things in person. So he responded.

    ¡°Things got a little crazy. I visited my parents and they are going to cut off my financial assistance. Connor and Sara offered to let me stay with them for cheap.¡±

    Josh made eye contact with Sara and held up his phone so she could see the text window open. ¡°Could you guys get these in there and start things? I might be too distracted to actually help for a bit.¡±

    Sara gave him a silent thumbs up while Connor gave him a nod and a gentle pat on the shoulder. It was a silent good luck, you¡¯ll probably need it. And Josh definitely did.

    ¡°Well that¡¯s a lie.¡± Came Kerry¡¯s first reply, closely followed by. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d really do that to me after we¡¯ve been roommates for so long.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t know what else to tell you.¡±

    ¡°Well, the truth seems to be off the table.¡±

    ¡°I wish I could, but I wasn¡¯t lying about things being crazy.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re not just jumping into bed with Sara?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s not her. But it does also have to do with money. They can cover a lot of expenses for me, and we get along really good.¡±

    Josh was nervous the further into the text thread he got. He felt like he was nearly going to let something slip that would defeat the purpose of moving out in the first place.

    ¡°Would it have been so hard to tell me that in person?¡± That was the hardest question Kerry could have asked. Not because it was difficult to answer, Josh knew the answer¡ªit was yes, absolutely¡ªbut it was hard to actually say it for the same reason that it would have been hard to talk to Kerry about this in person.

    ¡°I know you don¡¯t trust them. But they¡¯ve been really nice to me, and I trust them. That¡¯s what matters to me. And I know you want to talk me out of it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s your life, Josh. Just don¡¯t let them take advantage of you.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    Kerry didn¡¯t respond after that.And, by then, Sara and Conner were already at the desk in the post office with the boxes, double checking the shipping labels and getting ready to pay. Josh didn¡¯t need to go in at all. He just crouched down on the sidewalk outside and read back over the texts that he¡¯d sent and received. He second guessed all of of them at least once, regretted sending most of them, but was relieved that it was over with. It left Josh in a daze.

    The situation was mostly dealt with. He followed behind Sara and Connor quietly as they helped guide him to the proper office on campus where he could fill out change of address papers. Josh could barely focus the whole time because of the empty humming in his head that echoed in the wake of such a dramatic shift in his life. He¡¯d been focusing so hard on accomplishing the task at hand, that Josh hadn¡¯t really let himself realize how drastic of a change that task had made. And on top of that, all of the other anxieties that Josh had pushed back behind the problem he could solve then and there were starting to come flooding back in.

    Without really noticing how he¡¯d gotten there, Josh found himself back in the spare bedroom of the Benedictine penthouse apartment. His bedroom. Sara and Connor had left him there to settle in and unpack, at least that was what he was pretty sure that they¡¯d done. He couldn¡¯t quite remember. They had also needed to get back to their schoolwork, as they weren¡¯t as far behind as Josh was.

    ¡°What now¡­¡± Josh whispered to himself. The words faded to silence quickly in the room, but they lingered in Josh¡¯s ears.

    And, without alternative, Josh pulled free from his backpack and then dropped his several notebooks on the desk. He didn¡¯t flinch at the loud cracking noise that the cardboard cover made on the faux marble laminate top desk. He opened the page of the notebook on top to his notes on the last lecture he¡¯d attended, and he was about to read over them before he realized that they were nearly a week old. And that meant he needed to catch up, which meant that he needed to send out emails. And that reminded him that he needed to email the dorm administrator and let them know he had moved out so he could get part of his semester¡¯s rent returned.

    Things were beginning to stack themselves in a queue of tasks that Josh could write down and organize before tackling. None of the major anxieties, nothing Josh couldn¡¯t do anything about, made it onto that list. He was tempted to write up a second list exclusively of things he wasn¡¯t able to do, but that seemed even more wasteful than making a list of things that he could actually do.

    It was dinner time again before Josh had accomplished enough of the schoolwork that he wanted to get done. And even then he knew there was still piles of it left, half his professors hadn¡¯t gotten back to him at all¡ªand he didn¡¯t blame them, they probably had a backlog of emails from the long weekend. When he realized what time it was, though, Josh let himself relax a little. The rest would be a little easier now.

    Just a little.

    He still had questions he wanted to get answered, most of which he suspected neither Connor nor Sara could provide adequate answers for. And he still wanted to settle the matter of getting a mark before he changed his mind, not that that felt particularly likely at that point. It seemed all his problems went back to having to wait for Margot. She had the answers he wanted, she had a mark she could pass on; even self defense training¡ªas impractical as it still was with his arm bandaged and his head sore¡ªseemed like a welcome reprieve from the worries and second guessing that plagued Josh¡¯s mind.

    Every time a difficult topic began to well up in his thoughts, Josh pushed it back down. But the more he pushed them down, the harder that they became to dismiss and the more sparse the reasons were to dismiss them. And as Josh stood and readied himself to venture back out into the apartment and the presence of his new roommates, he found himself muttering to himself. It was almost like a quiet prayer, but less reassuring and more hopeful.

    ¡°Please hurry up, Margot. There¡¯s so much I need to talk to you about.¡±

 Ch.37 Painful Waiting

    If there was ever anything worse than waiting for something to happen, it was waiting for someone else to do something. And while those two misfortunes may have some overlap, they are by and large distinct. While one can wait for the sun to rise, knowing it will eventually, one might wait for a parent to return home and be forever disappointed. The mechanisms of nature, while intricately intertwined, are relatively simple. The mechanisms of human thought and action are so absurd they cannot be reckoned with to any degree of certainty; to think otherwise is to dive deeper into the pot of swirling human motives and further complicate the lives of everyone else. The key difference is that a something will always act the way it is meant to, but a someone will just as often act contrary to its own designs as it will act in line with them.

    And, while Josh was eager to have Margot return from her self imposed exile, there was an insufferable mix of the two problems in front of him. He had to wait for something he had finally decided that he wanted, a mark. And that mark was only going to happen by way of Margot, the someone who seemed to be acting on a particularly unfortunate time frame. The longer Josh waited, and the longer he went without a mark, the more it felt like he was going to miss his opportunity. Connor and Sara would have their marks activated and he would be left in the dust. Even if someone stayed close to keep an eye on him, he wouldn¡¯t moving forward at the same rate as his friends. And he was already so far behind.

    Two days after Josh and Connor had returned home, late on a Wednesday evening after classes, Josh sat on the window seat in the penthouse and looked out over the city he now towered over. It was confusing, in a way. Josh had never felt like he had ever wanted to live in such a place, something so lavish, but the thought that it was only a temporary luxury made it feel comfortable. The view was tranquil, perhaps even a little mesmerizing. It was completely distracting Josh was what he was trying to do.

    As if the universe had commanded her, Sara had sat down next to him on the window seat and gestured to the notebook in Josh¡¯s lap.

    ¡°Those don¡¯t look like lecture notes. Not any notes I¡¯ve ever seen at least.¡±

    Josh looked down to where her finger was pointing before answering. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Actually, those are notes. Kind of.¡±

    ¡°Looks like alchemy to me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a logic diagram. It¡¯s just a handy pattern to help people see whether or not a sentence structure could contain a verifiable factual statement. If the grand scheme of things, it¡¯s virtually worthless. But it¡¯s fundamental for more complicated rhetoric.¡±

    ¡°Uh huh¡­ looks like it will tell you when you need to call for roadside assistant, internal affairs, or a video game production company.¡±

    Josh chuckled at the implication. The acronyms were almost accurate. ¡°Those just tell me what kind of structure I¡¯m looking at. I see the structure, I put it in a quadrant, I compare it to the opposite and if it checks out it¡¯s factual.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t look like that¡¯s what you¡¯re doing though. You don¡¯t have a textbook at least.¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m actually using the other sheet.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m writing a list.¡± Josh slid the notebook around all the way so Sara could see the second sheet he was open to. ¡°Things that bother me, why they matter, and why I¡¯m willing to deal with them.¡±

    ¡°Uh huh¡­¡± Sara chewed on her lip as she looked over the page. ¡°This is kind of morbid, Josh.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°This says, I¡¯m never going to see my family again and that¡¯s okay because they¡¯re awful.¡± Sara pressed her finger down on the page where Josh had written it down. ¡°That¡¯s sad.¡±

    Josh frowned, nodded, and started to bite his lip nervously. ¡°That¡¯s why it bothers me.¡±

    ¡°And I don¡¯t suppose there¡¯s a particular reason you¡¯re making this list in this notebook?¡± Sara had caught on, not that it had been too difficult to after he¡¯d already described the diagram from his logic and rhetoric notes.

    All he could do was nod and confirm her suspicions. ¡°I¡¯m writing them all down to see if my logic checks out. I¡¯m testing my fears.¡±

    ¡°And do they check out?¡±

    ¡°Not really. But they¡¯re not supposed to. It¡¯s part of the reason with subjective arguments. It¡¯s virtually impossible to find truth. You need to rely on proofs that have been worked on throughout history, and even then some of them get disproved by modern logicians.¡±

    ¡°Why check them then?¡± Sara was attempting to bring her smile into the conversation; tentatively at first, but the longer she spoke the closer to a real and gentle smile she got.

    With a clap of pages, Josh shut the notebook closed on his lap and reclined against the window sill. He wasn¡¯t entirely sure why he was testing his own fears and anxieties. ¡°I¡¯m not sure really. I suppose¡­ I suppose I just want to actually put my arguments to paper. I can¡¯t find any kind of real truth, but I can let them marinate and see what I think of them as though they had been presented to me.¡±

    Sara let loose a real smile, bright and warm and understanding, as she said ¡°I won¡¯t say that this is silly, but you could have made a list.¡±

    ¡°I tried. But my brain just can¡¯t make heads or tails of a list unless there¡¯s a more complicated purpose or order to it.¡±

    ¡°You get so focused, sometimes. You know that?¡± Sara tapped Josh gently on the head with her fist like she was knocking on a door. ¡°I think you¡¯ve been sitting there for an hour now, and you¡¯ve been reading your own list the whole time.¡±

    ¡°Has it really been an hour?¡±

    ¡°Just about.¡±

    ¡°That explains my stomach growling.¡± Josh¡¯s stomach let out a low moaning gurgle as he said it. It had been making the same noise for a while. ¡°And my eyes hurting.¡±

    ¡°Have you been blinking enough?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I should probably be drinking more water too.¡±

    Sara stood and offered a hand to Josh. ¡°Probably. But I think a different exercise could be helpful for your problems.¡±

    There were only a few things she could have meant. And while Josh immediately dismissed the most illogical and stereotypical fantasies of what she could mean, they still crossed his mind. Her actual intent was quickly revealed.

    ¡°What kind of¡ª¡± Josh couldn¡¯t finish asking his question, as the acceptance of Sara¡¯s hand prompted a jerking pull that more than lifted Josh from his feet.

    ¡°Sparring!¡± Sara¡¯s voice was gleeful as she watched Josh roll across the floor towards the center of the apartment. ¡°Hmmm, maybe I should have been gentler.¡±

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    Across the room, reclining on the couch, Connor chuckled and corrected her. ¡°Josh wouldn¡¯t have laid a finger on you unless you gave him a reason to.¡±

    It was more than a little annoying that Josh was being talked about as though he weren¡¯t there, sprawled out on the floor like he was. And while Josh growled in frustration, he attempted to breath deeply and calm himself.

    ¡°I still don¡¯t want to fight her.¡± Josh called back to Connor.

    Sara groaned in frustration, as if that had been her plan all along. ¡°Aw, come on. What if the next gray man is a gray woman? Are you going to object to fighting her?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not¡±¡ªJosh lunged from the floor towards Sara¡¯s knees as he spoke¡ª¡±why I don¡¯t want to fight you.¡±

    The lunge, despite being unprecedented and overshadowed by Josh¡¯s words, was easily dodged. Sara jumped over Josh and landed gently in the middle of the apartment as if she had gently glided there on wings. She took up a defensive stance, expecting to fight, but Josh wasn¡¯t eager to get off the ground and actually engage her in any kind of sparring.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to fight you because you know what you¡¯re doing and I don¡¯t.¡±

    Josh was tempted to add in that his arm wasn¡¯t at one hundred percent yet either, but the bandage was off and everyone could see that the lingering damage was almost entirely superficial. Even his head wound was mostly fine. All of his wounds were healing much faster than he thought they would, but that was one of the many things that had been on his list. It was under the subcategory he had titled, fear of being inhuman.

    ¡°Nah, don¡¯t worry about that.¡± Connor said as he peeked his head over the back of the couch, clearly amused by the thought of Josh being knocked around the room. ¡°You¡¯re both pretty close to the same size, it should be a fair fight.¡±

    There wasn¡¯t going to be any way out of sparring, Josh quickly realized. It had been an inevitability from the moment Sara had decided it was going to happen. So, while Josh succumbed to the peer pressure and stood to face Sara, he held out his hands to make it clear he wasn¡¯t going to start yet.

    ¡°Are there any rules?¡±

    ¡°Just don¡¯t break anything.¡± Sara responded, grin on her face. ¡°And try to stay away from furniture and sharp edges... but that¡¯s more of a suggestion than a rule.¡±

    Josh breathed out a long sigh of defeat as he tried to take a stance similar to he one Sara had. As soon as he lowered his hands, however, Sara was on him like lightning. Her movements were careful and her speed was intense. She cleared the roughly seven feet between them as fast as Josh could blink and before he could do anything, she had her arms wrapped around him and her leg was sweeping his out from under him. Her upper body followed Josh to the ground, but she kept her footing and managed to get on top of him and pin his shoulders to the had wood floor.

    ¡°Can you get out of that?¡± Sara grunted as she held Josh in place.

    Her voice was both serious and playful. And while it was clear that she meant for this to be a somewhat instructional match, Josh wasn¡¯t learning anything and Sara had clearly already gotten into a fighting mindset rather than a teaching one.

    ¡°No.¡± Josh grunted as he tried to push her directly off him.

    It was no use, of course. Sara knew what she was doing. Her arms were wrapped around Josh¡¯s head, one against his neck and one under his armpit, and her hands were locked together behind Josh¡¯s neck. The full weight of her torso bore down on him and from her position kneeling right up against his side she was pushing down lightly too. No matter how much Josh pushed against her shoulders, Josh was still fighting against her entire body weight and part of his own as well.

    ¡°Can you move at all?¡± Sara checked again.

    Josh tried to reposition his arms, but as soon he pulled them out from under Sara she hugged him closer and he couldn¡¯t get a grip on her at all. His hands wouldn¡¯t reach that close to him, and his elbows smacked the floor beneath him.

    ¡°No.¡± He whispered, deflated. He loosened his arms and let Sara grapple him tighter.

    Connor, still watching, booed from his spot on the couch. ¡°Come on, you didn¡¯t do anything. You can totally get out of that.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you want to tell me how?¡±

    ¡°Try and figure it out first. If you¡¯re thinking about moves and maneuvers in a fight, you¡¯re going to distract yourself and lose. It needs to be instinct.¡±

    ¡°A hint then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you can move something.¡± Sara huffed, her face nearly right next to Josh¡¯s.

    The proximity was starting to become noticeable. It hadn¡¯t been as awkward at first, since it had felt more like Josh was being attacked. But now that he was basically limp and submitting, the closeness was creating a different sort of discomfort than it was intended to.

    After a deep breath, Josh ran down the list of things he could try in his head. Hands and arms were a no go, Sara was blocking them out pretty effectively. Head might have been an option, but there wasn¡¯t really enough space for Josh to build up force to make any kind of headbutt worth it. Shoulders were almost completely immobilized and there was no lifting his torso. He could move his legs pretty easily, but he was on his back and Sara was positioned almost entirely on his torso; so there was no way he could kick her.

    ¡°I can move a few things, but I can¡¯t hit you.¡±

    ¡°But can you escape?¡± Connor asked, nodding slowly as though trying to nudge Josh on in the right direction.

    For lack of a better strategy, Josh just flexed as many joints as he could to see what would actually give. There was a little shift in Sara¡¯s hold from where he moved his arms, but Felt like he was going in the right direction with his legs. There was no way he could kick her or hit her with his knee, but he could start to lift himself up a little by pushing against the ground with his legs and forming a bridge.

    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re getting it.¡± Connor cheered on. ¡°You want another tip?¡±

    ¡°Stop helping.¡± Sara growled as she struggled to try and keep Josh¡¯s shoulders pinned to the floor.

    ¡°No, keep helping.¡± Josh grunted as he tried to tip Sara off his chest.

    ¡°Don¡¯t just move in one direction with your legs. It¡¯s easy to hamper movement in a straight line, not so much at a diagonal.¡± Connor carried on, completely ignoring Sara¡¯s demand.

    Josh took the advice and tried to figure out how best to implement it. There was no way he was going to lift Sara straight up off him, he didn¡¯t have the abdominal strength or the leverage. But he could probably spin her off him. Josh braced his feet against the floor and attempted to push up and to the side, away from Sara. She gave way. Not completely, but she had to get onto her feet rather than rest on her knees. From there, Josh rocked back into her and managed to put pressure on her arms. Under the pressure Sara slipped and collapsed on top of Josh.

    For a moment, Josh wasn¡¯t being pinned down and he used it to get his arms back under Sara and push against the inside of her elbows to try and break her hands apart. Sara was back in her grappling position fast, but Josh was already prying her hands apart and breaking her hold. And as soon as her hands were apart, Josh slid out from between her arms a pushed himself away.

    ¡°Woooo, yeah!¡± Connor hollered from the couch. Josh could see that Connor was an engaged observer now. Snacks, though how much you can define orange slices as snacks is debatable, in hand and eyes locked on the action.

    ¡°I need a break.¡± Josh huffed as he got to his feet. ¡°Please don¡¯t tackle me again.¡±

    Sara got back up on her feet as well, breathing a little less heavily than Josh was, and grinning in a way that glowed in a totally different light than her normal smile. There was mischief and glee in her, and Josh understood why. She enjoyed the challenge, and he couldn¡¯t deny that it had been fun to actually pry himself free. Maybe less fun and more gratifying. Josh had never bothered to figure out how to physically defend himself, his brother Kyle had made it clear at a young age that he would never be able to protect himself if someone stronger wanted to hurt him. But that clearly wasn¡¯t true.

    ¡°Oh, shoot, you¡¯re bleeding, dude.¡± Sara¡¯s voice changed instantly from competitive to worried as she realized that Josh¡¯s arm had a light trickle of blood running down it.

    It didn¡¯t hurt, and Josh hadn¡¯t even felt the blood, but that was probably due to the slight numbness that had been present in his left arm since taking off the bandages. The bandages had applied pressure that had helped him fee like he actually had an arm, but now it felt more like he had a skeletal limb.

    But it wasn¡¯t a skeletal limb. There was still skin. Very dry skin that was still healing on the surface. Except for a few spot where the damage had remained a bit deeper. Like where there was now a crack in the dry skin and blood trickling out.

    ¡°Heck.¡± Josh spat. ¡°We don¡¯t really have a ton of gauze left either.¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­¡± Connor winced as he tried to recall something. ¡°Maybe just get a big bandage on that.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Josh ambled over to the kitchen and pulled some paper towels loose from their spool to cover the crack in the skin.

    Sara was right behind him, digging around the designated drawer for their first aid kit and the single large adhesive bandage in it.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Josh. I thought you were good enough to¡­ you know¡­ we kind of promised you we¡¯d show you how to protect yourself.¡± Sara stammered as she managed to get her hands on the bandage and peel off the backing.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. It doesn¡¯t really hurt.¡± Josh said with an easy smile.

    But it did hurt, and quite a lot as the adrenaline of sparring died down. But it was refreshing. The pain reminded Josh that he was actually still human. For now at least. And that was comforting. It was like the penthouse. Temporary, but pleasant while it lasted. Even the pain, uncomfortable as it was, was temporary.

    It hadn¡¯t helped in the way that Sara had intended, but sparring had brought Josh some mental peace. The effort had been refreshing, as had the victory and the pain that accompanied it. It was all temporary struggle. And just like waiting, it would end eventually.

 Ch.38 Unpleasant Zen

    Two days after Josh had split his skin open when sparring with Sara, his arm was almost completely back to normal. There had been no further dreams, no further injury, and no further contact from Kerry. Connor and Sara had taken to sparring with each other and narrating what they were doing to Josh as he watched. It was intriguing, and Josh felt like he was learning a lot. There was an obvious setback of not being able to practice what he was learning just yet, but that didn¡¯t bother him. Everything was fine.

    Margot would return when she was able to. She would give Josh a mark. And then Josh would wait for that mark to activate. When it happened, he could begin his life all over again. He would be able to discover what he was really capable of, would become who he was really capable of being. All he had to do was wait patiently and prepare himself. In the time since he had put down his list of anxieties, Josh had spent his effort steeling his mind in preparation of learning something new and mind boggling. In essence, Josh had prepared himself to be confused.

    Classwork and homework, and lectures and school life carried on. Though, Josh hardly paid them any attention. The didn¡¯t matter as much as they had in the weeks before everything had changed. How does one focus on the topic of moral philosophy when they have to face the reality that they are burdened by the presence of an alien mind boring into their thoughts and dreams. Human philosophy didn¡¯t have any sort of room for things beyond the reality that it knew. So many theories and thought experiments were designed around the ideas that were fundamental forces in the world, but could be so easily discarded if there were things beyond it. What was the worth in understanding what made gravity work, when it may have well been a concept unique to the world Josh found himself in.

    And, rather than be disturbed by the helplessness that he felt¡ªthe feeling of being so inconsequential as a speck upon a speck in a sea of endless other specks¡ªJosh took comfort in the scale of everything. Not much was to be expected from a speck. He could learn to do amazing things, could gain the power to upset the balance of the world he knew, but he would still be a speck. It wasn¡¯t precisely comforting, and the more he lingered on it the less genuine comfort he took from the perspective he¡¯d gained. It was humbling.

    ¡°He¡¯s being a little creepy today, right?¡± Connor had whispered to Sara while Josh sat placidly on the window seat overlooking the city below.

    ¡°He¡¯s been like this for almost two days now, how have you not noticed?¡±

    ¡°I was busy?¡± Connor shrugged in his defence. ¡°And I mean, it¡¯s creepy¡­ but it¡¯s not that bad. I just meant something seems off. I don¡¯t know if he¡¯s doing okay.¡±

    Josh, of course, overheard none of this. He knew they were talking quietly on the other side of the apartment, he could hear that much. The first indication that he was the topic of their conversation was Sara walking over and placing a had gently on his shoulder.

    ¡°You doing okay?¡±

    Josh wasn¡¯t sure how to respond. ¡°Fine? I guess? It¡¯s a little weird, though, right? Nothing here really matters.¡±

    ¡°Oooooh, no.¡± Connor groaned from across the room.

    ¡°What?¡± Josh asked, ,alarmed at the sudden shift in the mood of the room.

    ¡°It¡¯s just something that everyone goes through before they get their mark.¡± Sara answered with a chuckle and half smile. ¡°Nihilism is a big hurdle, but everyone gets there one way or another.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, nihilism?¡±

    ¡°Nihilism is¡ª¡±

    Josh held up a hand to stop Sara mid-explanation. He knew it was rude, but he¡¯d misspoken. ¡°I know what nihilism is. I already had a class on moral philosophies and it kind of comes up a lot when you¡¯re a philosophy major. But I¡¯m not being nihilistic.¡±

    ¡°You just say none of this matters. Which is what I¡¯m talking about. But what are you talking about?¡±

    After a deep breath, Josh rested his chin down on his fist in a relaxed and contemplative pose that sat in contrast with how little he¡¯d actually thought about what he was about to say. ¡°That¡¯s not exactly nihilism. It¡¯s one version of it, sure. But nihilism rejects that there¡¯s any sort of real truth or knowledge or morality or value or meaning to anything. And that¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying.¡±

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    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Sara drawled off as she sat down next to Josh with a frown on her face and processed what he was saying. ¡°So you¡¯re saying, you still think there¡¯s truth and all of that... but that it still doesn¡¯t matter?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Josh said bluntly. ¡°I think¡­ Well, some of it has to matter. But If I can¡¯t grasp it, why should I bother. Right? Every individual has their own truth and meaning to them, and there are things out there that aren¡¯t even human but just as intelligent or more so. They must have a truth and meaning to them as well, but it couldn¡¯t possibly be the same as our own vision of those concepts.¡±

    Sara was about to object, but Josh just kept talking.

    ¡°And you¡¯d think truth of any kind would be pretty easy to figure out. Like am I sitting down on a chair? Well, you¡¯d think so. But there are places, modes of existence beyond this reality, where I could be sitting on a chair and simultaneously not sitting on that same chair. You wouldn¡¯t be able to discern the truth of the present from a different simultaneous present or any sort of overlap in temporary reality. And that¡¯s not even getting close to morals. Even in our own world, there are cultures where what is moral and right is completely different than what other people thing is moral and right. There are cultures that eat the bodies of the dead, and it¡¯s considered a good and noble thing to do. But that feels so wrong, doesn¡¯t it? I can¡¯t possible even image what other kind of¡ª¡±

    Without warning, at least none that Josh could see, Sara slapped him across the cheek. The shock of the strike caught him completely off guard.

    ¡°What the hell?!¡± There was a shrill hint of panic in Josh¡¯s voice, as though he had been betrayed.

    ¡°Did that hurt?¡± Sara asked calmly.

    ¡°Yeah! That hurt a lot!¡±

    ¡°Okay. Well, there you go. There¡¯s some objective truth for you.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not how¡ª¡±

    Sara slapped him across the other cheek. Josh managed to move out of the way slightly, but the slap still connected.

    ¡°You feel it, right? That¡¯s what matters.¡±

    Connor joined in from across the room. ¡°Maybe you should slap him harder.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Josh held out his hands in protest. ¡°Stop. No more slapping.¡±

    ¡°Do you still feel like the things you¡¯re experiencing don¡¯t matter?¡±

    ¡°Maybe? I don¡¯t know?¡± Josh still wasn¡¯t processing things again. The shock of being slapped twice was preventing him from thinking much of anything.

    Sara put her hand gently on Josh¡¯s shoulder again, ignoring the flinch that occurred when she brought her hand close to his face again, and smiled. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for hitting you. But you were scaring us, and that¡¯s how we were brought out of it when we went through the nihilism part of our journey.¡±

    ¡°You probably just could have just tried explaining it to me.¡± Josh grumbled.

    There was stifled laughter from across the room as Connor shook his head. ¡°Doesn¡¯t work.¡±

    ¡°Ignore him.¡± Sara shook her head, but kept smiling. ¡°What¡¯s important is that you stay close to the people around you, the people you care about. We care about you, because your well being is part of our responsibility now. It¡¯s our fault¡­ mostly my fault that you can¡¯t live a normal life anymore. And I hope, if you care about us too, that you¡¯d do the same things to keep us from giving in to the kind of thinking you were getting stuck in. You can slap me back if that ever happens.¡±

    ¡°I do care about you guys.¡± Josh bit his lip as he said it, it still felt strange to admit because he hadn¡¯t known them for very long at all. ¡°But how can you just ignore it all? There¡¯s proof right in front of you that there are experiences more than human out there and that what we¡¯re doing isn¡¯t worth doing.¡±

    Sara let out a sigh and lifted her other hand to Josh¡¯s other should. ¡°Listen. I know you¡¯ve seen some things¡ªthe kind of stuff I¡¯m probably never going to be able to comprehend¡ªbut the universe isn¡¯t that complicated. It¡¯s complex, but it doesn¡¯t have to be complicated. It¡¯s just you, the people you care about, and the things you have to do to keep them safe. Does that make sense?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I guess that makes sense.¡±

    With her hands on his shoulders, Sara leaned in to make close eye contact with Josh. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to, at least not right away. But there¡¯s more to existing than just doing the things you want. And even if there isn¡¯t a purpose to it all, you still get to exist and choose and do things. You can understand yourself, you can understand the people around you, and you can understand why there are problems that endanger the people you care about.¡±

    ¡°I guess that¡¯s what you guys are doing, isn¡¯t it¡­¡± Josh muttered. He suddenly felt more awake than he had been before, though he hadn¡¯t noticed feeling tired. ¡°You¡¯re trying to figure yourselves out.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m studying biology.¡± Connor nodded. ¡°I want to make sure that whatever form I take is reliable and healthy, no matter what world I¡¯m in.¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s why I¡¯m still taking classes.¡± Sara added, letting go of Josh¡¯s shoulders and leaning back against the window frame. ¡°I want to know what I want to do with the time I have, I want to figure out everything that interests me. And I¡¯ve found a few things, but I know there¡¯s still more out there that¡¯s fun and interesting. And I want to figure it out so that I can share it with the people around me.¡±

    ¡°Maybe I should switch out of some of my classes, then.¡± Josh said, more to himself but he knew Sara and Connor were still focused on him. ¡°I don¡¯t think what I¡¯m studying is very useful.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s what you make of it, dude.¡± Connor said with a shrug. ¡°Maybe you don¡¯t really need to know yourself, at least not right now or any more than you already do. Maybe you aren¡¯t ready for that. But you can always try to figure out other things.¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ maybe I can try to figure out¡­ why.¡±

 Ch.39 Drunken Preamble

    The evening that followed the slap, there was something else on Josh¡¯s mind. Something that didn¡¯t necessarily worry him, because he trusted Connor and Sara, but that he was nervous to mention. They might have thought he had completely lost it, but it was something he needed to do before he got a mark; and he knew that as soon as Margot made her way back, he wouldn¡¯t give her a second of rest before he begged her to bestow one. So, rather than bring the suggestion to his roommates in the straightforward way they probably would have appreciated, Josh devised a plan.

    ¡°It¡¯s Friday night. We¡¯re going to drink!¡± He had announced once they were all in the same room together after classes.

    Connor had been the first to respond. And while Josh was nervous because he seemed like the most likely to oppose the suggestion, his response was a relief. ¡°Normally, I¡¯d say no thanks. But you¡¯re family is still bothering me¡­ in my head I mean. They¡¯re the kind of people you need to shake off with booze.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, and I just got a fruit tray¡­¡± Sara said with an excited clap of her hands.

    ¡°Oh, we¡¯re getting wasted tonight.¡± Connor said with a laugh.

    All things considered, Josh was a little worried. He didn¡¯t want them to get ruined with booze, just a little inebriated. Just enough to say yes to what he actually wanted to do. And they were so quick to agree too, it made him question his plan. It might have been easier to just try and ask them sober. But it was too late now. Connor had already made his way to the liquor cabinet and pulled out his clear glass jug of grain alcohol, and Sara had already made her way to the fridge to retrieve a tray of fruit the size you might bring to a family picnic with over a hundred people.

    ¡°Right, Josh, since you¡¯re new, you should know we have rules about being drunk.¡± Sara explained as she set down the tray on the kitchen island. ¡°Rule one, never push yourself. You get too drunk, you go to bed. Rule number two, you don¡¯t drink the grain alcohol. It¡¯s literally poison. And rule three, if you¡¯re going to get drunk you need to have fun doing it.¡±

    Those weren¡¯t the kind of rules he¡¯d been expecting. But they seemed far healthier than any other ground rules Josh had heard at drinking events, especially during his freshman year. People had just seemed to want to get wasted with the thought that it was expected of them.

    ¡°And rule four,¡± Connor added in, ¡°is unofficial, but it¡¯s part of rule three when we¡¯re busting out the big guns. But when we drink like this, we play a specific game.¡±

    ¡°Dare or dip!¡± Sara shouted, excitedly. She had almost reached the level of ¡®ready to party¡¯ that a lot of freshman girls did their first weekend at college, but she clearly had some level of restraint. It was odd seeing her acting so careless though.

    ¡°It¡¯s like truth or dare, but we don¡¯t do anything too stupid besides eat fruit dipped in poison.¡± Connor said with a laugh. ¡°No forcing people to spill secrets, and we have a rule about no dares that make people uncomfortable. Like no kissing, touching, or nudity.¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ we¡¯ve been roommates for a while¡­¡± Sara wiggled her eyebrows playfully at Connor, but he just shook his head. ¡°But we¡¯ve lived together long enough. We¡¯re basically siblings and anything like that would be gross.¡±

    ¡°Even worse if we were drunk to boot.¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡± Sara agreed.

    ¡°But the basic rules are pretty simple. One person poses a dare to one, or both now, I guess, other player and they either have to do it or take a piece of fruit, dip it in grain alcohol, and eat it.¡±

    ¡°Oh jeez.¡± Josh grumbled. ¡°I might not have suggested drinking if this is what you guys do¡­¡±

    ¡°You can abstain. But I think you might enjoy it. The dipping really limits the intake and the calories from fruit helps balance the buzz.¡± Sara said with a gentle smile, though she was still clearly excited.

    ¡°And you can just eat as much fruit as you want anyway. It¡¯s good for you and helps you water down your system with fluids and calories.¡±

    Josh gave them both a stern look, brow furrowed and mouth set in an expression of mild concern. ¡°Is there anything else I should know before we make this official?¡±

    ¡°Sara belches like an old man when she¡¯s drunk.¡± Connor spit out as fast as he could before dodging a halfhearted punch from Sara.

    ¡°Yeah, and your bladder shrinks to the size of a dime.¡± Sara said as she managed to land a harmless punch on Connor¡¯s back as he ducked away. ¡°But everyone gets a little quirky when they¡¯re drinking, right?¡±

    ¡°I mostly just get tired¡­ and kind of sad.¡±

    ¡°Well, not tonight!¡± Sara cheered as she handed Josh a strawberry from the tray. ¡°Everyone starts with one.¡±

    Connor held up a strawberry of his own, like he was offering a toast, and Sara followed suit with a chunk of melon. Josh shrugged and added his own strawberry to the toast before they all three dunked their fruit in a small bowl of the alcohol that Connor had poured. Sara and Connor downed theirs like shots, wincing at the taste, and Josh was quick to follow in kind. There was no point avoiding it now. Whatever happened, happened. Josh¡¯s plan was in motion.

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    ¡°Oldest gets to dare first!¡± Connor said with a hearty laugh.

    Sara looked over to Josh, eyebrows raised. ¡°Now we get to be a little rude and ask each other exactly how old we are.¡±

    ¡°Twenty-five.¡± Josh said slowly, hoping to be cut off by Sara. But her answer never came.

    ¡°Hah! Old man!¡± Sara jeered, still playful, though Josh felt a little stung by the comment.

    ¡°Fine, Sara I dare you to tell me how old you are.¡±

    She stuck out her tongue in response and mumbled, ¡°Party pooper,¡± before she visibly debated whether or not to take a penalty instead of answering the question.

    ¡°No, come on, save your sobriety for when it counts.¡± Connor moaned. ¡°I¡¯m going to dare you to do way dumber stuff.¡±

    ¡°Fine. I¡¯m twenty-two. Not that it¡¯s much of a secret. I¡¯m pretty sure Connor already got me to spill that in passing a while ago.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Clockwise then?¡± Josh nodded to Sara, who was sitting to his left around the island.

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯ll be too confusing to go counterclockwise when we¡¯re really in it¡­ though it hasn¡¯t really mattered before.¡±

    ¡°We did this with Margot that one time right before we moved in together.¡± Connor objected. ¡°We went clockwise then too.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah. Heh. That reminds me.¡± Sara¡¯s face grew mischievous. ¡°I dare you to tell Josh why the no kissing rule exists.¡±

    ¡°But what about the no secrets rule?¡± Connor whined.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a secret if three people know it and haven¡¯t agree to never talk about it again.¡±

    ¡°Fiiiiiine. Ugh.¡± Connor turned sharply to Josh. ¡°We got really drunk that one time with Margot, and she was throwing out really good dares that I chose not to do. So when it was my turn¡­ and I was nearly out of it, I dared her to kiss me on the lips. And she did.¡±

    ¡°Yeeeugh, gross. Just remembering makes me gag.¡± Sara¡¯s face was an exaggerated portrait of disgust as she spoke.

    ¡°Come off it, it wasn¡¯t that bad. There have been grosser dares.¡±

    Josh sat quietly while the drama played out in front of him. The sour taste of the alcohol still fresh in his mouth, and he found himself reaching for more fruit to numb the taste and snack on while his roommates entertained him.

    ¡°You told me she kissed you with tongue.¡± Sara objected. ¡°That¡¯s my mom, dude. My mom frenched you.¡±

    ¡°No, I said there was tongue. I never specified whose.¡± Connor protested right back, his face getting red in the process. ¡°And she slapped me for the dare after, so we¡¯re even¡±

    ¡°Good enough.¡± Sara huffed. ¡°That makes it your turn.¡±

    ¡°Finally.¡± Connor threw his head back in mock boredom. ¡°I dare both of you to compete in a handstand competition. Loser drinks. I decide who stays in proper form. First to fall loses.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Josh groaned. ¡°You know she¡¯s gonna win.¡±

    ¡°Do I? And besides, if I asked you when you¡¯re drunk enough to say yes immediately, you¡¯d both be totally incapable of even doing a handstand to begin with.¡±

    Josh exchanged a look with Sara, but she just shrugged and stood up.

    ¡°Bring it, old man. ¡° She taunted in a mock adversarial jab.

    ¡°And you need to tuck your shirt in.¡± Connor added on. ¡°No nudity means no flashing to distract your opponent.¡±

    Sara stuck out her tongue, but complied.

    ¡°Okay. Three, two, one, go!¡± Connor counted down and waved his hand to signal the start of the competition.

    Josh started out uncertain, he hadn¡¯t done a handstand since grade school. But once he actually managed to get from a headstand to a proper handstand, it wasn¡¯t that bad. He wasn¡¯t even watching Sara go, but in a matter of seconds Connor poked Josh¡¯s foot and knocked him over as he declared the winner.

    ¡°Sara loses. That¡¯s a shot for the scrawny armed lady.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair, Josh actually has muscles.¡±

    ¡°Oh, barely.¡± Josh laughed it off. ¡°It¡¯s not like I work out regularly. Only when Kerry would drag me to the gym on campus to spot him while he scouted for girls.¡±

    ¡°Gross¡­¡± Sara hissed as she swallowed her losing punishment of alcohol dipped fruit.

    ¡°What, the gym or the fruit?¡± Josh asked.

    ¡°You don¡¯t scout out women at the gym. That¡¯s just mean. No one wants to be bothered when their working out, and us girls already have a hard enough time with our images as it is without having to stress about being all sweaty and gross while exercising.¡±

    ¡°It usually didn¡¯t go well for Kerry, if its any consolation.¡± Josh offered. ¡°And mostly I just lifted free weights.¡±

    ¡°Well, advantage to you then, because I haven¡¯t worked out from a few sparring sessions since I got here.¡±

    The evening carried on much in that same pattern. Sara would aim her dares more towards telling stories, though never anything too personal or embarrassing. Josh dared them both for information; about them, about marks, about anything he wanted to know and hadn¡¯t gotten around to asking yet. And Connor never stayed consistent; he made dares for competitions, pop quizzes, mundane information, and anything else that seemed to pop into his head¡ªthough most of his dares did have a way for someone to be a loser and have to take a drink regardless.

    Very quickly, they all became quite drunk. Josh less so. He¡¯d made a point to avoid drinking as much as possible. That had meant he¡¯d ended up doing and sharing more than he had intended. But it was also mildly liberating to share more about who he was and what he had done in a way that was genuinely safe. At least, it felt safe. The alcohol was questionable at best, and lethal at worst. There had to be several water and bathroom breaks to help keep them from overdoing things.

    And around eleven at night, when it felt like things were about to wind down, Josh issued his final dare.

    ¡°Alright¡­ alright. Last one from me. Guys. I dare you both, to go down to the lobby¡­ and wait there for like¡­ half an hour. I¡¯m going to try and sleep. And I¡¯m going to try and have a nightmare. And I want you guys to see when a mark shows up, if at all.¡±

    ¡°No way.¡± Sara exclaimed loudly and with a slap against the cold stone countertop. ¡°I¡¯m not peeling off another sleeve of skin. That was nasty.¡±

    ¡°Hold on, hold on.¡± Josh interrupted calmly, pushing his hands down in a motion as if he was trying to quell a crowd. ¡°Gul told me I should do it. They want to know if I¡¯m taking the mark back¡­ with me when I wake up¡­ or if it just kind of happens while I¡¯m asleep.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely doing it.¡± Connor exclaimed, his voice a little wobbly as he squinted at his two roommates. ¡°And it can be the last one. Because if I drink any more, I¡¯m going to pass out.¡±

    ¡°Fiiiiiine.¡± Sara groaned, her voice slightly slurred from inebriation. ¡°But if we come back and you¡¯re doing something weird in your sleep, I¡¯m waking you up.¡±

    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s why you need to come back while I¡¯m sleeping¡­ dreaming. While I¡¯m dreaming.¡±

    Connor stood up right then and there to head down to the lobby of the building, but wobbled and had to hold on to the countertop to steady himself.

    ¡°Water first.¡± He announced as he turned the opposite direction he¡¯d been heading before and made his way to the sink. ¡°You too, Sara.¡±

 Ch.40 Forced Entry

    Josh had taken another drink, another bite of booze covered fruit after his roommates had left. It was the last bit he needed, the last straw to break the camels back that was his consciousness, before he passed out on the couch. Exactly as he¡¯d planned.

    But what happened next was nothing he had ever planned for. And how could he. He was dealing with forces far beyond his comprehension. Such is the nature of dreams.

    It began with a departure from an elevator. For a moment, Josh thought he might not have been dreaming at all. It looked like the hallway outside of the penthouse, and the elevator that was closing behind him as he walked it had felt very much like the elevator in the Benedictine. It was entirely possible that Josh had merely passed out and walked out to the lobby to try and find his roommates, but returned unsuccessful. Stranger things had happened to Josh while he¡¯d been asleep after drinking. What had never happened to Josh while drinking, however, was a feeling of loss of autonomy.

    And that was exactly what Josh realized he was experiencing.He hadn¡¯t meant to walk out into the hallway, but his body was doing just that. And it was taking him to a door that looked very much like the door to his apartment. He was helpless as his arm reached out, turned the doorknob, and opened the door. And he was helpless as he was engulfed by the world beyond it.

    It wasn¡¯t the apartment that he had been expecting to find beyond the door. It wasn¡¯t a nightmare, exactly, either. Or the bubble that he had found himself in before. And it wasn¡¯t the old apartment he had shared with Kerry. It was just¡­ a different apartment. A cramped studio apartment, kitchen sink and hot plate in one corner, folding bed tucked into another. The space was littered with loose clothing, the wrappings that several orders of fast food had come in, and a strange assortment of objects Josh wasn¡¯t familiar with.

    Still without an ounce of control, Josh leaned down and picked up one of the strange objects. It was a little star shaped prism that fit in the palm of his hand, matte black in color, and the texture was glassy; though the points had a rubberized give to them. Another, still on the floor at his feet, was a similar object. The material was the same at least, the shape was more rounded, almost egg shaped. They all seemed to be the same material, but each was shaped slightly differently. In all, there were probably twenty or so scattered about the space.

    Josh watched, like he was watching a movie in VR, as his hands stroked the material gently. Pushing against the points and rolling the whole thing between his hands. It didn¡¯t feel great, but it was certainly interesting. The presence of sensation at all actually felt strange. For some reason, though Josh was sure it was still his body, it felt like there was a disconnect between what he was feeling and what he knew he should be feeling. It made the immersion, that virtual realty goggle like feeling, fade somewhat.

    And with the fading of the reality of the scene that was playing out before him, things began to appear less real. The color faded into a more muted palette of browns and reds and yellows. Shapes became less clear, like he was looking through squinted eyes. And the sounds of the world, sounds he hadn¡¯t even noticed were there at all, became muted; muffled like a cloth sack had been placed over his head. Then another sensation came, a burning on his left arm. And when he looked down, expecting to see a mark, there was none. It was just his arm. Sound began to floor back, loud and violent. Someone was slamming the door open behind him, he could feel it. Feel it in that way you can feel abstract hings in your dreams. How you can feel that you¡¯re you, even when you don¡¯t look like you, or that you¡¯re in your house even when you clearly aren¡¯t. Someone was coming to get him, and they were going to a lot of trouble in the process.

    His vision cleared again, trading back out with the clarity of sound he had experienced. He watched as whoever or whatever was piloting his body began to run. Not so much run and dive, dive across the small studio apartment, towards a sliding glass door on the other side. There was a tiny balcony just outside, he could see it. And he knew that if he made it there, he would be safe. And as he dove, he felt himself gain control again.

    Josh looked back towards the door he had come in from as he fiddled with the lock to the glass door. But when he looked back, he saw himself. His body was being pulled back by countless hands reaching from seemingly nowhere. The look on his own face, at least, his body¡¯s face, was one of abject horror. Josh thought of turning back all the way to try and grab hold of his hand to pull his body to safety and stop it from being taken wherever it was the hands were taking him, but he was falling backwards.

    The mix of sensations made it difficult to process. Some part of his consciousness was still trapped in the body he had seen being dragged away, but his functional self that could move and make decisions was falling backwards out of the now open sliding glass door. Where there had been a balcony before, there was just a sheer ledge into an abyss below. And so, initially, Josh felt as though he was being pulled apart in opposite directions. One way by the nightmarish hands and another by gravity. But in the end, it was the falling consciousness that could control its own actions that won out.

    At first, Josh expected to plummet back into the empty white expanse and find himself inside the familiar bubble. But that didn¡¯t happen either. The nightmare running rampant through his mind seemed intent to subvert all of his expectations. Instead, the darkness he fell through gained color again. Josh found himself falling through an open doorway, the doorway to his actual apartment at the Benedictine, and sideways through a series of rooms that didn¡¯t seem to line up with the actual layout of the apartment. He began in the room he had taken as his own, then through the hallway, then Sara¡¯s room, then Connor¡¯s room, then the hallway again. But that next doorway led him to the opposite side of the apartment, where the laundry room door exited into the kitchen; though the actual layout wasn¡¯t quite right.

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    It was a straight fall down, though the directions that were down did shift slightly. Mostly ¡®down¡¯ was sideways, like the whole building had been tipped on its side. But after entering the kitchen, it shifted so that a different wall was down. So as Josh fell, he began to fall towards the open door to the balcony. He could feel his trajectory becoming certain, and while he could move his body there was no controlling the way the world turned to send him where it wanted. He scrambled to grab anything, a chain, a countertop, a blender, the door to the balcony. Anything he managed to actually get his hands on slipped through his fingers. It wasn¡¯t until there wasn¡¯t anything below him but the expanse of a sideways city landscape that Josh managed to hold on to anything. And the thing he had managed to grab was literally the last thing that would have been within his reach¡ªthe balcony railing.

    The railing, both in the real world and in the nightmare, was an ornamental wrought iron fencing. Thin bars were interwoven with a sturdy mesh of metal ivy. Josh¡¯s fingers were wrapped around one of the bars as the rest of his body hung sideways, threatening to drop into the void. But then he managed to get his other hand on the railing as well. There was a chance he¡¯d be able to pull himself up, and from there he could jump and grab the door frame and pull himself back into the apartment. He wouldn¡¯t be able to do anything about gravity being sideways, but it would be a lot safer than staying outside.

    As he was struggling to pull himself up, the nightmare corrected his course once again. This time, much more directly. A lump had formed in the concrete of the balcony floor. And that lump slowly grew and extended until it was a hand, and then an arm, and then nearly a shoulder. Josh recognized the arm immediately. It was a grayish shriveled limb, nearly human but just slightly too long. And along the forearm was a mark. The mark that filled Josh¡¯s heart with dread just by looking at it. It wasn¡¯t a spiral of possibility, it wasn¡¯t a generic bar code, it was alien and unintelligible.

    Josh knew what it meant. And he wasn¡¯t about to let that hand touch him. Falling into the void was a better fate. And so, he let go.

    He wasn¡¯t sure how far he fell, or how long it had taken. But it seemed to be a long time and a great distance. But it was hard to tell. Everything around him was dark. He could see his hands in front of him as clear as day, but it was almost as if there was nothing else around him. No shapes or objects in the distance, no rushing air that told him what direction he was falling, not even particles of matter or light. It really was the void, and it felt like it would never end.

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t they waking me up yet?¡± Josh asked himself out loud.

    His memory had returned in the calm of the void, and he could recall that Sara and Connor had said they would come wake him back up after a set amount of time. Maybe they¡¯d had too much to drink and hadn¡¯t been able to make it back up to the apartment from the lobby. Maybe they¡¯d had their marks activate and abandoned him. That latter thought seemed to stick. He felt very much alone, abandoned by the people he cared about. And the lack of other things to focus on made it feel like an all encompassing sorrow.

    That sorrow and anxiety and fear seemed to grow beyond the physical boundaries of Josh¡¯s body. It was a similar abstract feeling as when he had known something was breaking down a door behind him earlier. But quickly that abstract feeling became more concrete. The darkness around him seemed to grow brighter. He could see a tint of color around him as the world began to lighten. And eventually, Josh found himself where he had expected he would be. He was within the confines of a semi-translucent violet sphere floating in a white expanse. But it didn¡¯t feel the same.

    Josh looked around the exterior of the sphere, and there was another bubble just outside his own. Within the other bubble he could see a silhouette of a person. Not an alien creature, but a human person. They were of average size, but Josh couldn¡¯t make out much else. It was moving around, pacing almost, and soon pressed up against the side of the bubble. Josh watched as a slender human hand pushed passed the confines of the other bubble and reached out towards the violet exterior walls of the bubble he was in. He felt, in his loneliness, a profound desire to hold that hand.

    There was no hesitation, no loss of control, no deeper thought in Josh¡¯s head as he jerked his body to the side of his bubble and pressed his hand hard against the side. It didn¡¯t give at first, but after applying a great deal of force, he managed to push in through. It was like punching a mixture of cornstarch and water. Both dry and wet at the same time. But when his arm emerged on the other side, it didn¡¯t look like his arm. It looked desiccated, gray, elongated, and horrid. It had a mark on it that he had no desire to look at further than to confirm what it was. What he was.

    He was not out of control. He was something different. He was alien.

    A strange desire took root in his mind. Not just to grab hold of the human hand that had been extended towards him, but to draw it in to him. To have that hand, that arm, that body that lay beyond. To possess it. It was a desire driven by loneliness, by grief, and carried out in desperation. There was hardly any resistance as he managed to grab hold of the other hand. And it was a trivial matter to begin pulling it closer. To begin pulling the other being out of their bubble. They looked grotesque¡ªsmall, soft, frail. In short, they were pitiable. But they belong to him now.

    And as he drew that other creature into his own bubble, hand first, something rocked the foundation of the world. It was as though the invisible net that their two bubbled were suspended on, had been snapped like the reigns of a horse. The other hand had made it inside his bubble, but there was no fighting this new quake in reality.

    Josh was shaking, his bubble was rattling like a maraca, his entire world was shaking.

    ¡°Wake up!¡± Sara shouted directly in Josh¡¯s face as something wet and cold poured over him.

    ¡°Should I get another bucket?¡± Connor asked, frantic. ¡°Ice water this time?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡± Josh managed to hiss.

    There was a fury in his mind that he didn¡¯t fully comprehend. He had been interrupted, but the feeling quickly faded as he realized he was awake.

    He was propped up on the couch in the apartment and Sara was holding him by his shoulders. She¡¯d been shaking him, and something warm on his face told him that she might have slapped him too. But the rest of his barely conscious mind was occupied by the discomfort of Connor having dumped a bucket of water on him.

    ¡°Thank goodness.¡± Sara said with a drawn out exasperated breath. ¡°We thought you were gone for a bit there.¡±

 Ch.41 Forced Soothing

    There had been a scramble of thoughts and questions and reassurances that spanned the next half hour. There was no getting around it. Josh could hardly keep his own mind straight for what felt like ages. He wouldn¡¯t even talk after his initial shock awake. All he could do was listen while his friends tried to calm him and ease him back into consciousness.

    ¡°Just¡­ stay here. I¡¯ll get some blankets. And a bucket.¡± Sara reassured him as she got up from the couch. ¡°Connor, get him a towel.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But why the bucket?¡±

    ¡°Dude, we all just consumed liquid poison and solid foods. He¡¯s gonna puke.¡± Not two steps away from the couch Sara felt the sting of that poison herself. It hadn¡¯t been that long, but the height of the effects were passing and her body was trying to shut down much the same way Josh¡¯s had.

    ¡°You look like you¡¯re gonna puke.¡± Connor said with a drunken chuckle.

    Their departure was only momentary. Sara returned with blankets and then left and came back again with the mop bucket that had been used to drench him and set it down on the floor next to the couch. Josh was about to wrap himself up into a cocoon and never emerge again, but Connor arrived just in time to plot a bath towel over his head. The touch felt, for a moment, unbearable. Like the invasive influence of whatever creature he¡¯d connected to in his sleep. But as soon as Connor¡¯s hand withdrew he felt better.

    ¡°Hm.¡± Connor hummed.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sara said with a narrow glare at Josh. ¡°Yeah, I saw that too.¡±

    ¡°Let him dry off first.¡± Connor grumbled with a shake of his head that nearly sent him into an inebriated balancing act.

    Josh wasn¡¯t paying much attention to what they were saying at that point. He only processed that they were talking, and didn¡¯t care to try and decipher what they were talking about. Drying himself off as much as he could was his primary objective, and he was doing so quite well. The water had hit him at and angle, so most of it had landed on his face and shoulders. His shirt was a little soaked, but the couch was dry. As were his pants. Which he was grateful for.

    The remnants of the alcohol he¡¯d consumed, while he had only really had enough to let himself get knocked out, left Josh far less caring about certain things. Things like, caring where he slept, or what was happening around him, or if he kept his shirt on. There was no hesitation as the problem of his damp clothing was solved in the easiest way possible. He was just going to cocoon as soon as it was off anyway, so what did it matter.

    ¡°Oh.¡± Sara gulped the word down as she watched Josh disrobe.

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Connor hummed. ¡°I mean. Sure.¡±

    ¡°And no mark.¡± Sara said with a nod as she caught a glimpse of Josh¡¯s exposed arm. ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±

    ¡°Probably.¡± Connor agreed.

    Again, Josh wasn¡¯t as concerned with what they were saying. Even if it was about him, the only thing he wanted was to be wrapped up tighter and disappear from the world. But their actions next were beginning to infringe on that.

    ¡°Hey, can we sit here too?¡± Sara asked warmly, patting the couch cushion next to where Josh was curled up.

    If he¡¯d been bundled up as much as he wanted to be, he wouldn¡¯t have seen the gesture or cared about it. But it was the middle of three cushions and closer to him than they needed to be. They wouldn¡¯t be too close though, so Josh nodded. The signal was enough for Connor and Sara to jump at and they quickly made themselves comfortable. Sara sat closer to Josh, and Connor leaned on her shoulder like a pillow.

    ¡°It¡¯s actually kind of chilly tonight, and I gave you all the spare blankets. Can we borrow this little bit?¡± Sara asked again, just as warmly and just as innocently. She was far too drunk to be deceptive, or so Josh thought.

    Another nod was given, and the tail end of one of the larger blankets was lifted up and draped over Sara¡¯s legs and part of Connor¡¯s arm. It obviously wasn¡¯t going to do much, so Josh didn¡¯t make a fuss when they nudged a little closer to get more coverage.

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    ¡°My feet are cold, actually.¡± Connor mumbled as he tried to adjust his body into a more comfortable position. ¡°Let me just¡­ can I get on your other side?¡±

    Again, Josh didn¡¯t object. It made sense. They wanted to be warm. It was a nice feeling after all. Connor shifted to Sara¡¯s other side and in so doing brushed up against Josh¡¯s foot. He retracted the limb immediately and found himself completely curled into a tight stressed up ball.

    ¡°Alright. I think that¡¯s good.¡± Connor said with a very slow and gentle nod. ¡°Ugh, but I¡¯m getting a headache now. Can¡¯t I¡­ can I lean my head up against the outside of this blanket bundle?¡±

    It was obvious now, what they were doing. Josh wasn¡¯t a stranger to the story of the camel in the tent. But it definitely felt like they meant well. They had asked at every step, and he knew that if he¡¯d shaken his head no to any of the requests they would have stopped. And unlike the tent in the story, there was plenty of room on the couch for all three of them.

    The glancing touch to the foot had reminded Josh that human contact wasn¡¯t the worst thing. It was uncomfortable in the way that being close to anything could be uncomfortable if you weren¡¯t careful about how you positioned yourself. Getting close to people always had a risk, a risk that they could take advantage of vulnerability. And physical touch was no different. But right then, it was pretty much the only thing Josh really wanted. Not the exploitation of weakness, but the rewarding warmth of allowing trust to blossom. All he wanted was a hug.

    ¡°For crying out loud.¡± Josh hissed, only mildly annoyed. ¡°Just get over here.¡±

    ¡°Yay.¡± Sara muttered with mock joy. Her lackluster tone was more due to a growing headache than sarcasm.

    ¡°Alright, get over here Sara.¡± Connor grunted as he lifted her to sit between him and Josh.

    With a quick shifting of blankets, Josh allowed them into his cocoon. It was only mildly uncomfortable to be shirtless underneath all the layers of blanket, but it was odd to have Sara pressed up against him without a shirt on. Sara noticed, perhaps because it had made her just as uncomfortable, and sat back up a little.

    ¡°I forgot you took your shirt off. Weirdo.¡± Sara chuckled weakly as she proceeded to remove her bulky university hoodie. ¡°Here, put this on. It only smells a little sweaty.¡±

    The request was unusual, and Josh couldn¡¯t think of a time when he¡¯d actually worn a girl¡¯s clothes before. Not that it bothered him, per se, but it was the first thing that came to mind when he put it on and seemed significant somehow. Like he¡¯d just won a dare or reached a new world record. It was a silly feeling, and hard to ignore. The hoodie, however, was incredibly soft on the inside and very warm. It smelled a little like Sara too, which Josh noticed and hoped to himself that it wasn¡¯t creepy that he had. Not long after he realized that the smell was hers, he realized that Sara was now wearing just her tank top amid the pile of blankets they were all thoroughly entangled in. He couldn¡¯t feel anything specific pressed up against him because of the hoodie, but there was a light pressure on his chest that told him at least part of Sara¡¯s body was resting up against his there.

    With all three comfortable and close and warm, Josh felt like he might sleep again. The horrors of the dream he¡¯d just had, though fresh in his mind, didn¡¯t scare him off from the prospect of sleep as they had in the past. He was as close as he¡¯d probably ever be to the two people that could keep him safe from those dreams. And they didn¡¯t seem intent on leaving. Sara didn¡¯t have sleep in mind just yet, though.

    ¡°What did you see, Josh? In your dream, I mean.¡±

    ¡°Lots of things.¡± Josh grumbled in answer from within the folds of blanket. ¡°But I think¡­ I saw inside the thing¡¯s head.¡±

    ¡°The thing?¡±

    ¡°The other being that my dreams seem to be connected to, with the alien mark that makes you feel uncomfortable. I think I saw his perspective.¡±

    ¡°His?¡± Connor asked. He looked like he was barely fending off unconsciousness, but he was awake enough to be invested.

    Josh nodded slowly, still not entirely sure himself. ¡°It definitely felt¡­ masculine? I guess? I don¡¯t think it necessarily knows anything about gender, but it had an attitude that I would call male.¡±

    It hadn¡¯t been very clear when the change in perspective had occurred. Josh had almost slipped into being the other creature; it had almost been like falling asleep and then slowly realizing that you were dreaming, except he¡¯d known it was a dream almost the whole time he¡¯d been asleep. Thinking about it conjured up the fragments of what the dream had contained. Josh couldn¡¯t recall everything with perfect clarity, but most of the events had stood out. Up until he had entered the perspective of the other being at least. Beyond that, it was far more fuzzy.

    ¡°I think I saw something else too.¡± Josh closed his eyes to try and focus and sharpen the image in his mind. ¡°Part of the dream was like the first dream I¡¯d ever had about him, only from his perspective. He was very¡­ possessive. But I saw¡­ I think I saw myself. But¡­¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to explain it if you don¡¯t want to.¡± Sara said with a yawn. ¡°Dreams can be weird and private.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s just. I can¡¯t really see it in detail in my head, but I know what I saw.¡± Josh opened his eyes again and looked at his roommates, full seriousness clear even in his drunken state. ¡°In my first dream, I left my bubble. I reached out and he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his. And when I left my bubbled, I saw my arm change like it had when the fake mark appeared. But seeing it happen through his eyes, I think I saw the whole thing. I think I saw what I¡¯m apparently supposed to look like¡­ later. After I reset.¡±

 Ch.42 Sober Aftermath

    ¡°So¡­¡± Connor was the first to ask, clearly the most eager to learn more about what had happened. Sara would have asked herself, as well, but her priority was still making sure that Josh was okay. ¡°Do you remember¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Josh cut him off coldly. ¡°I don¡¯t remember what I looked like. Everything I saw through his eyes is a blur. It¡¯s like I spoke his language for a little bit, and now that I¡¯m not in his head anymore I only speak English. Not just with words, but all of my senses. Everything I saw, everything I heard, all of it; I only remember what it was, not what any of it was like.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± If Sara hadn¡¯t thought of a way to ask that wasn¡¯t about Josh¡¯s well-being, she wouldn¡¯t have asked at all. ¡°You sound a little manic.¡±

    After a deep breath, the final dregs of whatever chemical fear cocktail that had been running through Josh¡¯s veins subsided. ¡°It was¡­ If I was going to compare it to technology, I felt like I was an mp3 player running an immersive video game¡­ and then I was an mp3 player again. I shouldn¡¯t have been able to comprehend that sort of data, but I did, and now I can¡¯t anymore. It¡¯s still there, but I can¡¯t decipher any of it.¡±

    ¡°That actually makes sense.¡± Connor said with a gentle nod. He seemed intent to ask a follow up question as well, but he cut himself off with a yawn.

    ¡°Connor¡¯s right. We should get some sleep.¡± Sara nodded, copying Connor¡¯s yawn. ¡°Real sleep.¡±

    Despite Sara¡¯s suggestion, neither of Josh¡¯s roommates moved from their position around him on the couch. And that was fine. Nice even. In that moment, Josh felt as though they would stay by him no matter what he looked like or what he was. It was a feeling he had never experienced before, and a familiar impulse of possessiveness came over him. Though it was chilling and foreign at first, as he fell asleep, Josh began to understand it.

    It was selfish, but selfless at the same time. These were his people. They had become his people. It was almost as if he was actually feeling the projected emotions people give to pets, to call their owners ¡®their people¡¯ when the animals themselves likely only thought of their owners as some other animal. The desire to hold them close and never let them escape, for fear of being far more lonely than he had ever been before, kept Josh awake longer than either Connor or Sara. Just a few minutes, but it was enough time to remember where the feeling felt familiar from. Josh had never felt this way himself, but the entity he had shared dreams with had expressed it towards Josh himself. And in a way, that made sense. Nothing else had probably ever made contact with it; and if they had, they weren¡¯t capable of understanding it. But Josh was.

    That thought lingered in his mind, even as he slept. And though no nightmares or invasive experiences came to him, Josh couldn¡¯t shake the feeling that something was wrong. He was wrong. Even among the marked, he was abnormal.But being abnormal wasn¡¯t a bad thing. At least, that was the thought that was circulating in Josh¡¯s mind when he woke up.

    It seemed that many things had changed when Josh woke up. He was alone on the couch once again. He was still buried in blankets and pillows, but his roommates were off doing their own things. But that was just the physical change. The atmosphere in the apartment seemed to have shifted as well. It felt more casual, more comfortable, and more like home. At least, for Josh, it felt like more of a home than any other place he¡¯d lived. And as he watched his roommates go about their morning, eating breakfast, coming and going from the other side of the apartment to wash up, he was happy. This was, really and truly, his apartment now.

    There were pleasant and casual good mornings as Josh got up and made his way to his room. Half of his things were still in boxes after they¡¯d been shipped in a rush, but that wasn¡¯t a big deal. The room still looked like a guest room, but it felt more like his room. His clothes were strewn about, the desk was littered with his homework and study materials, and the bedding was pulled back just like he¡¯d left it after the previous morning. And when Josh went to wash up for the day, he couldn¡¯t help but smile when he looked on the bathroom counter and saw his own things sitting there with equal distribution to all of his roommates things. In the kitchen, there was food in the fridge that Josh had picked up for himself on the other side of the small divider that Connor had put up to section off his own specific corner of the fridge, but everything was all there and equal. Maybe it was because Josh had grown up in such a large family, or because he was in a living space where there wasn¡¯t a divide between adults and kids, but feeling so equal was special and comforting.

    ¡°I have an announcement to make!¡± Sara called out from the center of the living space while Josh was working his way through a bowl of cereal. ¡°Since we didn¡¯t get to enjoy movie night last week, and since we¡¯ve all just gotten wasted and traumatized, I hereby declare today movie day.¡±

    ¡°Here here.¡± Connor chanted absently, not looking up from the book he was reading in the study.

    ¡°Here here.¡± Josh copied slightly more eagerly through his mouth full of food.

    ¡°I also propose that we select the new movie picker and nitpicker in a different way.¡± Sara carried on after a quick bow at the approval of her announcement.

    Josh averted his eyes as she bowed and let her tank top hang loosely around her torso. He knew it was a tongue in cheek test. Probably just to make sure there hadn¡¯t been any misinterpreting the previous night of group cuddling. And to her credit, Josh agreed that the check was warranted. He had to assess how he felt himself still, but he was pretty sure he was still leaning mostly platonic towards both Connor and Sara. Platonic relationships seemed to be what he wanted and needed most anyway.

    ¡°Since we have three people in the apartment now, we can¡¯t just back and forth, and it wouldn¡¯t be fair if we let both non-pickers be nitpickers. So we should settle thing, I think, by sparring.¡±

    ¡°Aw, no fair.¡± Josh booed through his last bite of breakfast. ¡°I¡¯m gonna lose every time.¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡± Sara countered, no cheer lost from her demeanor. ¡°But since it¡¯s just about who starts the rotation and who gets to be the first nitpicker, it¡¯s not a huge deal, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I don¡¯t mind.¡± Connor said as he put his book down and reclined casually in the office chair. ¡°But I don¡¯t think it¡¯s fair if the nitpicker rotates the same way the picker does. If it does then that means the same person nitpickers the same picker all the time.¡±

    ¡°Will we be able to track it if we have a swapping nitpicker every time someone becomes picker?¡± Josh offered. ¡°That way, every time if my turn, for example, you two swap being nitpicker and neutral?¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­ no¡± Sara frowned as she thought the problem through. ¡°We¡¯ll forget really fast.¡±

    ¡°How about a losers bracket for every pick?¡± Connor asked with a shrug. ¡°The two who aren¡¯t the picker have a spar and the winner get to be the nitpicker?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m never going to be nitpicker.¡± Josh said with a chuckle. ¡°Not that I mind. I don¡¯t care to nitpick too much anyway.¡±

    Sara help her arms up over her head in victory as they all seemed to reach a silent agreement. ¡°It¡¯s decided! We all beat each other up, take a break with a movie, and then beat each other up again!¡±

    ¡°Can I make a request though?¡± Josh was a little surprised at Connor¡¯s follow up question, he generally seemed to go along with anything pretty easily, but if he was making a caveat for something it was probably important. ¡°Can we agree, no strikes above or below the chest?¡±

    ¡°Does a leg sweep count as a strike?¡± Josh asked.

    ¡°No.¡± Connor and Sara answered in unison.

    Their confident and firm response was almost comical. Clearly they planned on using leg sweeps as much as Josh had planned on. It seemed his best chance to get either of them off their feet.

    Connor went a step further with his response though. ¡°I think a light tap to the back of the knee or a leg sweep is fine. Mostly I just want to avoid up having any sort of bruising in a sensitive area while we¡¯re watching a movie. Like, a strike to the groin is going to make sitting down and enjoying a movie kind of impossible.¡±

    Josh was nodding along as soon as Connor mentioned the possibility of taking a hit to the groin, but Sara was snickering to herself.

    ¡°Impossible for you, maybe.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t joke like having a bruised thigh or pelvis isn¡¯t bad too.¡± Connor snapped back, his expression calm but mildly threatening.

    ¡°I mean, I¡¯m all for the rule too. But you guys have a lot more to lose than I do.¡± Sara said with her hands up in surrender. ¡°Just remember, in a real fight, a knee to the groin is almost always a good move if you can make it.¡±

    There was a moment of silent waiting as they all three paused to see who would step up to spar first, but when no one did, Josh leaned back at the kitchen island to dig through a nearby drawer that he knew had wooden skewers.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    Holding them up he casually declared, ¡°Okay. Lot drawing it is.¡±

    Sara came over first, and was about to grab the skewers to break one when Josh pulled them back and reached for a pen on the other side of the island. He marked two skewers at the blunt end, blew on the ink quickly to dry it off, and then wrapped up the marked ends in his hand. Connor walked over as Josh held the skewers behind his back and scrambled them around so even he didn¡¯t know which was which.

    ¡°Okay, the two marked skewers fight. Loser fights whoever didn¡¯t and then the winner of the second match fights the winner of the first one.¡±

    Sara¡¯s face scrunched up in confusion. ¡°But then doesn¡¯t the person who draws the blank one have a disadvantage? They only get one chance to fight for the winning spot.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like we¡¯re organizing a martial arts tournament.¡± Josh said through stifled laughter. ¡°And the person who gets the unmarked skewer is basically just drawing the short straw.¡±

    ¡°And whoever loses the first match will be more tired than their second opponent.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Fair.¡± Sara grumbled with a mock slouch of defeat.

    Everyone held their hands out and drew skewer at the same time. In the scramble to pick the skewer he wanted, Josh poked his palm on the sharp end and he regretted marking the blunt end for a moment. But as soon as he felt the pressure on the hand that was obscuring the blunt ends, he realized that one light poke was better than being stabbed by all three. In the end, Connor was the one with the unmarked skewer, which meant Josh and Sara would be up first.

    ¡°Aw yeah, rematch!¡± Sara cheered as she held a fist up triumphantly.

    Josh didn¡¯t bother mincing words, he¡¯d had enough time to steel himself for fighting either of his roommates. It wasn¡¯t as awkward as it had felt the first time and he was ready. He just walked out to the open space in the middle of the apartment and gave Sara a nod to come at him.

    ¡°Okay, no nonsense, lets do this. Faster I pin you, faster we get to watch Casino Royale.¡±

    Sara came at him fast. Josh barely had time to get his feet in the right position before she was trying to grapple him. He had made sure his stance was wide enough that she couldn¡¯t sweep his legs out from under him and his body was low enough that she couldn¡¯t get him off balance. As she wrapped her arms around his stomach, Josh was focused. He didn¡¯t know what she was trying to do, but it felt like she was trying a sumo sort of approach to knock him over. It wasn¡¯t a bad idea, as Josh hadn¡¯t braced himself against being pushed backwards fully. But he was able to push down against her arms before they could get all the way around him and sweep her grapple off, though she nearly pulled his shorts down as she tried to grip on.

    Josh retaliated as Sara took a step back to try and move around him. He went for his own leg sweep before she could get in a defensive stance, but Sara was in the air in an instant. She seemed to linger, her body crouched midair, above him like she was floating. But just as quickly as she had leapt up, her legs shot out towards Josh¡¯s chest. It was a terrifying fast dropkick, but she hadn¡¯t been able to put any momentum behind it. Josh had been able to turn slightly and avoid taking the hit directly to his torso, but it still caught his right shoulder. Even without the potential momentum that the kick could have carried, it hurt immediately.

    ¡°Holy¡ª¡± Josh hissed.

    He was about to bring his hand around to cradle the shoulder that would undoubtedly bruise, but there was an opportunity. Sara was still falling, and her legs were still stretch out. She was going to try and curl her legs back in to help land safely, but Josh was narrowed in on her movements. In a moment of near complete tunnel vision, Josh wrapped his right arm around both of Sara¡¯s legs¡ªright below the knees¡ªas she was trying to retract them. He brought his left hand around to clamp her legs together, took a step towards her, following the pull of her legs, and then let her downward momentum and gravity do the rest. When her back hit the floor, Josh pushed down with her legs and forced her into a ball.

    With a grunt of pain, Sara tried to retaliate by grabbing on to Josh¡¯s arms. She would have a harder time pushing up against his body weight directly, but if she could grab on to Josh¡¯s arms or shoulder, she could try and roll him off her. Her grab was cut short as Josh sunk into a half kneeling position to get his knee over her right arm twist slightly to the side to avoid her left hand.

    ¡°Done yet?¡± Josh grunted.

    His question was answered by a very forceful push against his torso as Sara attempted to straighten out her legs. She almost managed it too. But with the majority of Josh¡¯s body weight pinning her down in two places, she was trapped.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Sara growled. ¡°When did you get good?¡±

    Josh laughed nervously as he let Sara go. ¡°I guess I just decided to ignore everything else?¡±

    As he said it, Josh began to feel the throbbing in his shoulder from the kick he¡¯d taken. ¡°Oh, blegh¡­ you didn¡¯t hold back at all, did you.¡±

    ¡°Not a chance.¡± Sara said with a mock scrunch of her face. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to make things easy on you.¡±

    ¡°Not that it did you much good.¡± Connor snickered. ¡°You just made both of you easier for me to beat.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure.¡± Josh huffed as he massaged his shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m getting some ice, and when one of you is done beating the other up I¡¯ll do it all again.¡±

    With his falsely confident statement, Josh made his way over to the freezer and fished out a handful of ice cubes from the tray and dropped them in a plastic sandwich bag. It was just a little too cold, so he wrapped up the bag of ice in a towel. That seemed to do the trick. And by the time he was feeling a little better, he tuned back into the sparring match that Sara and Connor had started.

    Both roommates looked like they were completely in the zone. Sara was sticking to high jumps and evasive movements to stay out of Connor¡¯s longer grabbing range. It seemed like Sara was using less energy and Connor was slowing down when he suddenly grabbed hold of Sara¡¯s wrist as she was jumping to the side to dodge a punch. He pulled her back into range and, almost like he was leading in a formal dance, rolled her body into his longer arms so that her back was against his chest and her arms were wrapped underneath his. Sara took a step back into Connor¡¯s mass to try and get him off balance, but he went with the shove and let himself fall onto his back. In an effortless move, Connor had his legs around Sara as well and she was fully immobilized again.

    ¡°Gah! No fair!¡± She roared. ¡°Josh got me off my game.¡±

    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t blame me.¡± Josh said with his hands up in defense, but the movement made his shoulder twinge as he lifted the makeshift ice pack from it. ¡°You¡¯re the one that didn¡¯t keep your elbows in while dodging.¡±

    Sara was about to object again, but Connor cut her off as he let her go. ¡°He¡¯s right, if you¡¯re not punching or trying to grapple, your elbows should be in. I don¡¯t know why he knows that, but it¡¯s pretty basic form. If Margot was here she¡¯d be chewing you out for it too.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m rusty, okay?¡± Sara said with a huff.

    ¡°And that¡¯s why we do this.¡± Connor said with a shrug, his arms out wide to signify the area they had silently agreed was for sparring.

    Sara sighed and made her way over to Josh, who handed her the ice pack. ¡°At least now I get to see you two beat the tar out of each other.¡±

    ¡°Or Josh could forfeit.¡± Connor said with a waggle of his eyebrows. ¡°No dice?¡±

    ¡°Nah. We haven¡¯t actually sparred before.¡±

    A surprised confusion washed over Connor¡¯s face as he attempted to recall if that was true. ¡°Oh. Heck. We haven¡¯t, have we.¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± Josh said with a deep breath as he refocused and walked up closer to his roommate. ¡°Not yet.¡±

    ¡°Well, now¡¯s the time.¡± Connor said with a smile as he grunted and let fly a quick flurry of jabs.

    Every punch was aimed squarely at Josh¡¯s torso. And each one was a hit. Josh felt four impacts, though it might have only been three, as he struggle to get his arms up to block. Connor¡¯s combo reminded him of a boxer, though he seemed to have a steadier planted stance than he¡¯d ever seen a boxer have. Connor¡¯s longer arms gave him a distinct advantage, as he could punch from farther away and not have to worry so much about getting hit in return.

    By the time Connor¡¯s second flurry of punches came, Josh was fully prepared. His vision narrowed again as he locked in on his goal. Two more punches landed, one across Josh¡¯s pectorals and the other on his right shoulder. Both hits hardly registered as Josh ducked under the third and sent out a punch of his own. His body twisted naturally to make up for the extra distance between them and pushed an extra pound or two of force behind the impact. Connor had been so intent on delivering fast barrages of punches he wasn¡¯t ready to defend. Josh¡¯s punch landed directly in Connor¡¯s gut.

    With a wheeze, the air left Connor¡¯s lungs as his diaphragm was forced to contract. He stumbled back a step, but didn¡¯t miss the opportunity to hook his right foot behind Josh¡¯s left knee and pull him down to the floor too. But while Connor landed on his butt, Josh tumbled forward into a kneeling position¡ªa counter-intuitively less than ideal position. Connor had his legs between him and his opponent, while Josh¡¯s feet were in a mostly behind him and under him position. Connor reached out with his legs as he scooted back towards Josh and wrapped them around Josh¡¯s torso. After a slight struggle, Josh managed to free himself and twist his body so that he could slide his legs out from under him in a kick. He stopped just short of hitting, as he realized that the kick would land squarely in Connor¡¯s groin. His roommate, oblivious to the hesitation, sat up and pinned both of Josh¡¯s legs under one of his own and promptly flatted his opponent in a full body pin.

    ¡°Okay.¡± Josh grunted from underneath Connor¡¯s torso. ¡°Okay, you win.¡±

    As Josh tapped the floor to signal his forfeit, he let his focus fade. He could hear Sara laughing hysterically as Connor lifted himself slowly.

    ¡°He nearly kicked your nuts back into your stomach.¡± Sara wheezed as she clapped her hands together to accentuate her laughter. ¡°You only won because he was paying attention. If he let that kick go through movie day would be over.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Connor¡¯s brow furrowed as he looked back down to where he¡¯d landed and attempted to grapple Josh initially. ¡°You¡­ oh. Oooh. Thank you.¡±

    Connor clapped his hands down on Josh¡¯s shoulders, causing Josh to wince weakly at the contact, and stared him down face to face. His expression was completely serious, though what he said didn¡¯t feel very serious.

    ¡°Thank you for not sterilizing me.¡±

    Sara was still cackling, nearly falling off of the bar stool at the kitchen island in the process. Josh¡¯s just nodded. He didn¡¯t want to make a big deal out of it. It would have been a good move in a real fight, but this was just practice.

    ¡°Does this make me the nitpicker?¡± Josh asked as he pulled himself off the floor and dusted himself off.

    ¡°Sure?¡± Sara answered with a shrug, which Connor copied. ¡°What¡¯s you pick, by the way? Still aiming for Breakfast at Tiffany¡¯s?¡±

    ¡°Not quite. I¡¯m still in the mood for Hepburn, but I think it¡¯s time for a slightly more¡­ intense movie.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Josh asked absently as he plucked the makeshift ice pack back out of Sara¡¯s hands.

    ¡°We¡¯re shutting all the blinds, drawing all the curtains, turning off the lights, and watching Wait Until Dark.¡±

    ¡°Yessss!¡± Sara hissed happily as she ran across the room and quickly plunged it into darkness.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a horror film?¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t seen it?! It¡¯s a thriller!¡± Sara answered Josh¡¯s question cheerfully. ¡°And it¡¯s a little scary¡­ but I don¡¯t think it¡¯ll freak you out too much after all you¡¯ve been through.¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s still best watched in the dark.¡± Connor hummed as the last source of light in the room was extinguished. the last expression he saw on his roommates face was an eerie grin that only made him more excited about what he was about to witness.

 Ch.43 Chilling Return

    The movie had given a warning at the start, that it would be shown with the theater at its legal dark limit. It may well have been a gimmick, but the apartment had been darkened as well and the effects were not lost on Josh. Movie night had become, in the best way possible, startlingly scary. Even as the end approached and Josh felt like Sara had oversold it, the jumpscare happened. The damsel in distress, blind and terrified, ran across the screen and the murderer that had just apparently died flung his own body from the darkest corner of the room to grab her ankle. It was sudden and perhaps the least expected scare that Josh had ever witnessed in a movie, and it was appropriate.

    When the moment came, everyone on the couch jumped. Even Sara, who had seen the movie already, let out a shriek of fright. For a split second, Josh wasn¡¯t sure why she seemed to scared. But then all of their heads turned towards the front door as it burst open just a second after the scare and let light stream into the pitch black room.

    ¡°Mother f¡ª¡± Connor shouted as he leapt up and lunged for the trespasser.

    Connor, valiant though his attempt was, was quickly subdued. His shout was cut short, and as the door closed and the light that had flooded the room for a moment disappeared. Josh and Sara heard Connor get dropped to the floor and let out a muffled struggling moan. And for a moment, the two of them sat paralyzed on the couch. Sara had her hand locked on Joshes shoulder, holding him back as he fearfully attempted to stand and fight as well.

    But then the light switch was flipped up. And while the end of the movie played out loudly on the TV, the scene unfolding in the apartment was the focus of everyone¡¯s attention. Connor lay prone on the floor, a boot pressing down on his back as the intruder held his arms tight in one hand. But, despite the condition of their friend, Josh and Sara relaxed. Sara was the first to laugh, but soon the whole room was echoing with the noise as everyone but the intruder joined in.

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it. If this was your attempt to protect yourself, it¡¯s been a piss poor one.¡± Margot grumbled as she dropped her bag by the door and released Connor from her grip.

    Sara stopped laughing long enough to explain. ¡°No, we were just watching a movie and you barged in right after a jumpscare¡ª¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask for an explanation.¡± Margot grunted as she walked through the apartment and towards the bedrooms. ¡°I¡¯m boring clothes from one of you, don¡¯t care who.¡±

    Josh stopped laughing at the curt entrance and his eyes darted back and forth between Connor and Sara¡¯s before settling on his own hands. They seemed to be the safest thing to look at. Everything Josh wanted seemed to be coming true. Connor and Sara were happy and by his side, Margot had made her way back, and everything was set for him to get a mark. But Margot didn¡¯t seem to be in the mood to do anything that wasn¡¯t already on her playbook, and that was far more disheartening than Josh had realized. The more he thought about it, the more worry crept into his mind.

    ¡°Hey.¡± Connor had gotten off the floor and made his way back to the couch. ¡°Josh, don¡¯t freak out about it so much.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Josh looked back up from his hands at his roommates and their concerned expressions.

    ¡°She¡¯s just grumpy because she¡¯s been on the road for a long time.¡± Sara explained. Her words made it sound like she was trying to wave the behavior away, but her expression remained as worried as when Josh had looked up.

    ¡°It¡¯s a little worse it¡¯s been before.¡± Connor hummed, his head swaying as if weighing the currently foul mood against past ones.

    The sound of footsteps approaching the living room cut everyone short, but Margot never showed up. The bathroom fan turned on, the shower started to run, and it was clear that her priorities were not to socialize. Not yet at least. Curiosity took root in Josh¡¯s mind though, about the last thing she had said before storming off towards the bedrooms.

    The curiosity leading the way, Josh got off the couch and crept towards the bedrooms.

    ¡°Did either of you hear a door before she went into the bathroom?¡±

    Connor scrunched up his face, confused at the sudden shift in topic. ¡°No?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡± Sara confirmed. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s clothes do you think she stole?¡±

    ¡°My door¡¯s closed¡­ at least it should be.¡± Sara mumbled. ¡°I¡¯ve been paranoid about it ever since you peeked.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°And I left my mine open because I honestly don¡¯t care.¡± Connor added on with a shrug.

    Josh peeked down the hallway to confirm his suspicions, careful not to make more noise than necessary as he did so. Margot had already proven once that she could hear well enough when he was trying to sneak around.

    ¡°Huh. I left mine open too.¡±

    ¡°And our rooms our right across from each other.¡± Connor was beginning to show interest in the mystery as he followed Josh. ¡°So it¡¯s basically fifty-fifty shot.¡±

    Josh copied Connor¡¯s tilting head motion as he contemplated the odds himself. ¡°I leave more clothes out than you do, though. So, I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re closer to her size as well.¡± Sara added on, suddenly revealing how close behind the boys she¡¯d crept up. ¡°So she¡¯s either wearing really baggy clothes she fished out from Connor¡¯s closet, or actual decent fitting clothes from Josh¡¯s floor.¡±

    ¡°Hey, I don¡¯t just throw clean clothes on the floor.¡± Josh huffed. ¡°I have a system.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re system is clean clothes on the chair and dirty clothes on the floor.¡± Sara said with a laugh. ¡°And I¡¯m not judging. I do the same thing with the addition of nice clothes go in the closet and pajamas go on the bed.¡±

    Josh paused for a moment, both wanting and fearing admitting that those were also things he did as well. The threat of his behavior seeming feminine suddenly felt too real and unexpectedly dangerous. It probably wouldn¡¯t have if it wasn¡¯t also clear that Margot¡¯s preference wouldn¡¯t also be his clothes, making even the clothes themselves more feminine. It was part of a greater conversation that the roommates had yet to have about who they were and what their styles of living and behavior were like. Ideally, Josh would have liked all that information and conversation to happen organically; and even more ideally, he wanted it to come up after he¡¯d had a clear enough head to think about it long and hard himself. Connor had already told him that there was no pressure to identify anything like that about himself, but it almost felt like he was being outed on something he suddenly wasn¡¯t sure he was or wasn¡¯t.

    Thankfully, it was Connor that snapped Josh out of his own head. ¡°Yeah, my dad does the same thing. Well, he used to.¡±

    The addition of he used to sparked a totally different curiosity in Josh¡¯s mind, though a quick look to Sara told him it either wasn¡¯t and interesting topic or it wasn¡¯t a discussion worth having right then. And it was fair. Josh had already been in his own head too much about how he saw himself and he was grateful that no one had brought it up¡ªJosh doubted that the same thoughts had even crossed either roommates minds¡ªand so he didn¡¯t have to think twice about dropping the topic before it even became one.

    ¡°What clothes do you think she¡¯s stolen?¡± Sara asked, mischief in her voice as she casually walked over to the desk lamp in the office and turned it on. ¡°I know she had an affinity for mens clothes so she might have been a bit pickier than she let on.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna guess blue or gray slacks, a white t-shirt, and a button up shirt.¡± Connor answered with a laugh.

    The first response had come quickly and it made Josh a little self-conscious. It wasn¡¯t unlikely though.

    ¡°Oh, crap, yeah.¡± Sara mumbled as she looked over Josh. ¡°You need to update your wardrobe dude. That¡¯s basically all you wear.¡±

    Despite feelingly like he¡¯d just been called out, Josh couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°You¡¯re probably right. I don¡¯t need to keep dressing like I¡¯m trying to get into a proper job anymore. And I¡¯ve always wanted to wear fun clothes.¡±

    ¡°Fun?¡± Sara asked, raising a single eyebrow. Her bright smile and mischief seemed to be going hand in hand more and more as Josh grew to know her better.

    The question still made Josh squirm a little. He wasn¡¯t exactly sure what it meant either, though he had ideas. He¡¯d always worn cheap clothes or clothes that looked professional or that didn¡¯t stand out too much. But if he was going to be an inherently different person, proudly unable to blend in with the rest of the world, he may as well try and see what that would look like.

    ¡°You know¡­ Just¡­ More like what you guys wear¡­?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s kinda cute.¡± Sara cooed, a new kind of smile donning her face¡ªthe kind that people get when they see a puppy or a cute baby.

    ¡°I think he just means with less sleeves.¡± Connor interrupted Sara¡¯s cute moment and Josh¡¯s mildly mortifying one. ¡°But I mean, I¡¯m not gonna lie, sleeve are BS and basketball shorts are definitely more fun than slacks.¡±

    Connor¡¯s alternative to Josh¡¯s wardrobe seemed to be focused on his own choice of clothes. Basketball shorts, tank top, ankle socks, and slipper sandals. Even though he¡¯s left the sandals by the door, Josh knew that Connor¡¯s wardrobe choice was a conscious effort to maximize comfort and minimize the amount of care he put into his appearance.

    ¡°Not wearing sleeves is sort of part of being marked, so that might be a good thing to invest in anyway.¡± Sara said with nod of agreement. ¡°But just the white t-shirts are fine for that.¡±

    The conversation had quickly gone beyond Josh¡¯s expectations and control. He had attempted to cut in and object or lead the flow in a different direction, but there was hardly a chance. And by the time there was a pause after Sara had spoken, Josh didn¡¯t know what to say.

    ¡°I know, as a guy, that it may be the last thing you expect to feel, but shopping for clothes is actually really fun.¡± Connor said with a chuckle as he took back the couch for himself, leaving Josh standing alone in more or less the middle of the room. ¡°At least, when you get to choose when and where to shop.¡±

    ¡°And when you¡¯ve got a big budget.¡± Sara added with a waggle of her eyebrows.

    ¡°Why do I get the impression that you two are going to be taking me shopping?¡±

    ¡°Because we are.¡± Connor and Sara replied in unison.

    ¡°But not today.¡± Connor added on.

    ¡°No, not today.¡± Sara agreed.

    ¡°Why not today?¡± Josh asked nervously, his eyes darting to the kitchen to get a glimpse of the digital clock above the stove. It was only barely past noon, so there was plenty of time to go out if they wanted to.

    It was Margot that answered. Her entrance had been quiet and unexpected, much like the final moments of the movie. Josh jumped at her interruption, but ultimately her words were more comforting than anything else that he¡¯d been told that day.

    ¡°Because today you get your mark.¡±