《For the Voyage is Long and the Winds Don't Blow》


 Chapter One

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    Andy thought that if she jumped out into the sea, if she let her body float wherever the current took her, she would never be seen again and that maybe it wouldn¡¯t be such a bad thing. There were no ships for miles. By the time anyone sailed past, she would be long gone, sinking to the bottom of the ocean. She would be picked apart by fish by the time she hit the floor, the only remaining bits of her body bloated and blue. And then as days went by, weeks, months, a year, she would be nothing but a skeleton buried in the sand.


    Tobi met her where she stood at the railing at the stern. She didn¡¯t look at him. She kept watching the ripples the ship left behind. The water was calm that day, and they seemed to be the only disturbance. If Andy jumped in, the circle of waves she would make would go on forever.


    Out of the corner of her eye, Andy could see Martin standing with them. He kept his distance as he usually did around Tobi but stuck around for her.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be docking in a week,¡± Tobi said.


    Andy nodded. They were docking for food and supplies. Andy¡¯s small crew would get time on land, and then they would be back on the ocean, hopefully, in time to cross paths with an English merchant ship. But after that, Andy wasn¡¯t sure what to do. If they were lucky, they would get a few new crew members out of the merchants. And they needed more crew. If they weren¡¯t so lucky, Andy would lose even more men, and she would have to recruit at the next port they stopped at. And she didn¡¯t know how much money she could spare to bribe pirates to get on her ship.


    ¡°I think we should get out of these waters soon,¡± Tobi said.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because the longer we sit here with a weak crew, and an even weaker captain, the more likely we¡¯re going to run into the Navy,¡± Tobi said as if explaining the situation to a toddler. If Andy had a fraction less of self-restraint, and if she hated Tobi just a little more, she would have thrown her arm out and struck him. ¡°We¡¯ve been sitting in the middle of their route. And if we run into the Navy right now¡ª¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± Andy snapped. There would be no way they could take on the English Navy at the moment. Not with their crew. Not with Andy debating jumping ship. ¡°We¡¯ll sail south after we dock. How¡¯s that?¡±


    Tobi nodded. ¡°Should I make a route now?¡±


    Andy shrugged. ¡°If that¡¯s what you want. I really couldn¡¯t give a fuck.¡±


    Tobi didn¡¯t look amused. But he never really looked amused. He was always scowling. He had scowled as long as he had been first mate on the ship. Under Eli¡¯s captaincy, he scowled. Under Andy''s captaincy, he scowled just a little bit more. He scowled so much that he had permanent lines around his mouth, carved in like someone had chiseled away at his face.


    He left her alone. Martin stepped forward and took his place. He looked out into the ocean with her. He hadn¡¯t been a man of the sea before Andy had found him at a port. The ship was in desperate need of a surgeon, though, and he was in desperate need to leave land.


    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Are you going to ask me that every single day?¡±


    ¡°Until I know you¡¯re back to your old self.¡±


    ¡°I am back to my old self.¡±


    Martin hummed. He hummed a lot. Andy never minded it. It was a habit of an old man, and she couldn¡¯t deny an old man his habits.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Andy insisted. ¡°Leave me alone.¡±


    Her body didn¡¯t ache all the time, and she wasn¡¯t waking up every night drenched in her own sweat. The relapses of midnight fevers were growing further apart. It had been almost a week since she had woken up so sick, a new personal record. It was good enough for her, and she would make it good enough for Martin.


    Though, the old man was nosy and always meddled in her welfare. No one else on the ship particularly cared about one another, and Andy never figured out why Martin was the exception. He was a terrible pirate. He never took anything from other ships but medical supplies. He wasn¡¯t ever eager to jump into battle like the rest of them. Often, he complained to Andy when she was about to throw the crew head-first into a raid. He was a very terrible pirate.


    But Andy could never get rid of him. He patched up bullet and knife wounds better than anyone else she had ever seen. He knew more than just stitching up gaping holes in bodies, too. He knew how to treat fevers. He knew how to splint a broken arm. Before him, their medical care had been crude. Andy couldn¡¯t go back to that.


    ¡°If you¡¯re not fine, I¡¯ll bleed you again one of these nights,¡± Martin offered. ¡°It¡¯ll get you back in shape.¡±


    Andy held her breath, hoping that Martin would leave. But he laid his rough, thick hands on the railing, and he stared out into the ocean with her. She wondered if, with his distant eyes, he thought about the same things she did. Going overboard, letting the ocean swallow him up. She wondered if he knew, as a surgeon, the best ways to die. The least painful. Andy had heard once that drowning was quick and easy. A lungful of water, and it would begin. And then the brain apparently blacked out what came next.


    It was preferable to bleeding out from being run through with a sword or having a bullet rip through her. It would especially be preferable to succumbing to a fever or infected, pus-filled wounds. But it would have to wait for a different day when she was a little more certain that she wanted such an intimate relationship with the sea.


    ***


    That night, there was light fog. Andy sat on the deck with the rest of the crew, half-listening to the ghost stories they told one another. She considered sleeping outside that night just so she wouldn¡¯t have to walk all the way to her quarters. It was warm enough, though she would probably wake up damp and sticky in the morning when the fog cleared.


    But if she woke up in the throes of another fever, her pain would be on display for the entire ship to see.


    She pushed herself up and walked to her quarters. They were spacious. Whoever had initially owned the boat wanted something grand to separate them from the rest of the crew, who only had a handful of meager bunks and hammocks.


    Eli had taken little things from every captains¡¯ room of every ship they had pillaged and spread them over the quarters when he lived in them. There had been animal furs, statuettes, compasses, globes. Some were useful to Andy when she took over. Others, she tossed overboard. They weren¡¯t her trophies. She didn¡¯t want them near her.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    And anything that reminded her of Eli was better off at the bottom of the ocean. She had found enough in the past year of leading raids to make the quarters her own. Useless, dirty things cluttered every available space. They were nothing sentimental, but they stayed anyway even as Andy piled more and more on top of it all. She almost suffocated in her clutter, but it was how she liked it.


    She stretched out on her bed. The sheets had been stolen from a Navy ship long ago. They weren¡¯t great, but they were better than what the rest of the crew had. They were better than what Andy had had a year ago. They were, honestly, almost better than any other blanket she had ever had in her life.


    At some point between blinks, as she stared up at her ceiling, she fell asleep. It wasn¡¯t long before she was awake again, imagining freezing cold hands grabbing her limbs and pulling them down through her bed. She felt like she was choking. And then she heard a blood-curdling, pained scream and wondered if it was her or someone else being dragged away by the detached hands.


    They grabbed at her hair and gripped every joint in her body tightly. The pain was almost unbearable. Like the hands were crushing her bones. Like her body was swelling up against them and every muscle was tightening.


    She fought with her sheets, trying to free herself from the moldy, rotting corpses¡¯ hands. She pushed the blankets off of her arms and kicked them to the bottom of her bed where they wrapped around her legs, finally breaking out of sleep. The hands were gone, but she still heard screams.


    They sounded like they belonged to an animal. When Andy¡¯s eyes snapped open, she thought for a second that something was dying right next to her. But then she realized she was alone, and no animals could be anywhere on board. Not any animals that could make such an awful sound. The screams weren¡¯t real, Andy assured herself. There was no way they could have been. They were part of her nightmare. They would be gone with the icy hands. Though, the chill they left behind was still there.


    She was soaked. Her sheets were wet where she had laid, and her hair was plastered to her forehead and around her ears. Her head was fuzzy and heavy, hard to lift off her pillow. Her bones really did ache. Her joints didn¡¯t want to bend.


    When she was a little more aware of her surroundings, she pulled her legs from the tangled blankets. The night air chilled her when it touched her damp skin. The hair on her arms and legs pricked up.


    She should have assumed her midnight fevers weren¡¯t behind her, and the long vacation from them must have meant that she was due for another relapse soon. It was frustrating. To still be sick after so long. To be weaker than she ever had been. It was humiliating. Surely, her crew saw her as infirm.


    There was commotion outside. Andy pulled her sheets back over her legs. If there was a real problem, Tobi could handle it and brief her in the morning. She didn¡¯t want anyone to see her in her current state.


    But the commotion grew, and then Andy heard the scream from her dream again. Something was dying. It clawed at her chest. It made her feel sick.


    She threw her blankets off of her again and grabbed her boots and floor-length, black coat even though every part of her body protested. She felt for her gun in the pocket. Whatever was making that awful noise, she was going to put it out of its misery and then return to bed before she collapsed.


    The crew was gathered on the deck, looking out into the black ocean. There was barely a moon. The water was still. The fog hadn¡¯t cleared, and it smothered the light coming from the crew¡¯s lanterns.


    Andy¡¯s head swam at the next scream. It fell flat without an echo, and Andy couldn¡¯t hear it coming from any real direction. But it certainly wasn¡¯t coming from the ship. It made her head spin until she couldn¡¯t see straight and chilled her further to the bone.


    Andy¡¯s knees were weak. The scream ended, and she crashed to the floor. She shivered too hard to move her arms underneath her to push herself back up, and her entire body begged for her to stay down.


    She thought that maybe that was how she was going to die. Some monster in the ocean was going to jump onto the ship and trample them all. She would go first, having no fight left in her. Or maybe if the crew got too restless, she would be crushed by them while they ran for safety. Boots would stomp on her throat and chest, and no one would even notice her let alone help her up.


    The deck was sticky and musky. Andy¡¯s cheek was pressed into it, scratched by the splinters of wood that stuck out. She was so cold, though, she couldn¡¯t feel if they were piercing her skin.


    When she closed her eyes, ready to let whatever was going to happen, happen, she was hauled to her feet. Four hands pulled her up and then dragged her to lean against a mast.


    ¡°Captain?¡± Tobi asked.


    Her lips and cheeks tingled. She grabbed onto the mast but could hardly feel it under her stiff fingers.


    ¡°What do we do?¡± Tobi asked.


    Andy wanted to say that they could leave her alone. She was upright again, and she could lean on the mast until she could support herself. Attention didn¡¯t need to be drawn to her little spell or her fever.


    Martin raised a flask to her mouth. It was one of the only things he owned before he became their ship surgeon. It was nice. Silver. Engraved with his name. Dented and dingy. It was filled with whiskey, and Andy lapped it up. Martin somehow always had a little whiskey on him. It was used sparingly. Recently, it seemed like it had only been Andy who took sips from it.


    ¡°What are we going to do?¡± Tobi repeated.


    Andy pushed the flask away. The whiskey burned in the pit of her stomach, but her senses were returning to her. The ship looked a little sharper. Her limbs felt like they were part of her body again, under her control. Martin kept a tight hold of her elbow. She could feel his fingers pressing to what used to be thick muscle. She could feel the moist wood under her hands again. Slimy as usual. Just as a lot of the ship tended to be.


    The deck felt a little more sturdy under her. Or, her legs weren¡¯t as shaky.


    She wrapped her jacket tighter around herself. The chills wouldn¡¯t leave until morning.


    ¡°Captain, what do we do?¡± Tobi said.


    ¡°About what?¡±


    ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake.¡±


    There was another scream. Andy cringed. Her shoulders went up to her ears, and she tucked her chin down into her chest.


    ¡°God,¡± she moaned.


    It didn¡¯t sound so distant anymore. Andy looked around again. The crew was leaning over the railings of the ship, carefully, holding out their lanterns at arm¡¯s length. They looked prepared to pull back at any moment as if they were worried something would leap out from the water and snatch them.


    ¡°What the fuck is that?¡± Andy asked.


    ¡°We don¡¯t know,¡± Tobi said.


    ¡°I say we go find it, figure out what it is, and we shoot it.¡±


    ¡°It could be miles away.¡± Tobi continued talking, but Andy barely listened. She pushed herself away from the mast, away from Martin¡¯s hands. ¡°I meant what do we do to stop us from going insane?¡±


    Andy slowly moved up the short steps to get to the forecastle. Martin and Tobi followed her. Above the rest of the crew, Andy looked out ahead of the ship, to the approaching water. She couldn¡¯t see anything.


    She held her breath. When another scream came, she closed her eyes. She focused on the feeling of the light waves under her and the creaking of wood.


    It felt like something was tugging her forward. Like something was embedded in her chest, like a harpoon, reeling her in right over the bow of the ship. Something wanted to keep her moving forward. Something was drawing her towards it. Something wanted to meet her.


    ¡°It¡¯s ahead of us,¡± Andy said.


    ¡°So, we turn around?¡± Tobi asked.


    ¡°No. We keep going forward."

 Chapter Two

    Andy poured candle wax into her palm and rolled it around until it formed a soft lump. She plugged one ear with it and began the process again. Everything was muffled. The screaming that came every few minutes didn¡¯t sound as gut-wrenching and didn¡¯t knock her to the ground. But she could still hear it. It still pierced through the wax.


    They were sailing close to an islet made completely of dark rocks. Andy was certain that was where the screaming was coming from. It sounded like they were right on top of it, and it had only been growing louder and clearer as they got closer. With a telescope, Andy saw something moving on a slab of rock. It might have been a sea lion or baby dolphin, washed up and stuck and drying out. If that was all, they could shove it back in the water and let nature do whatever it wanted with it. Either that or Andy¡¯s initial plan, to put it out of its pain, would be all they would do.


    The crew gave up on talking, unable to hear well enough unless they were pressed close to one another¡¯s wax-filled ears. Andy tapped Pinkey on the back. He was tall and strong and young. He would be the best to bring along.


    Tobi readied a boat, and the three of them climbed in. Andy nodded, and they were lowered into the water. It was much colder on the boat than on the ship. The iciness of the ocean wafted up and wrapped itself around Andy. She pulled her jacket tight around her and kept her eyes on the rocks ahead of them.


    She pulled out her telescope again to look at the dark figure. She saw thin limbs and long hair. An arm raised for a second and fell back down. Realizing that she was looking at a woman, Andy gasped. Neither Tobi nor Pinkey heard.


    What was a woman doing in the middle of the ocean? Andy thought about the possibilities. She was a victim of other pirates, or she was a stowaway on a ship that threw her overboard when she was discovered. Maybe it was just a freak accident.


    Tobi rowed closer, slowly, in ignorance. The woman watched them get closer.


    Andy held out her lantern. The woman was wrapped in a fishing net. It was loose around her shoulders and chest but tightened as it went further down her torso. For a moment, Andy didn¡¯t notice any bottom half of her body and she thought that maybe the woman¡¯s legs had been cut off and that she was somehow still alive, hanging on until someone could bring help.


    But looking down at her and moving the lantern closer, Andy realized that the bottom half of her body wasn¡¯t missing. Where she should have had legs, she had a thick, long tail. It was gray and easily blended in with the rocks she laid on. Scales crept up her body from her waist, tapering off before they could reach her chest.


    The three pirates stared at her. No one moved. Pinkey¡¯s mouth was open, and his eyes were wide. Even Tobi, an old veteran of the sea, who had claimed to have seen it all, almost lost his grip on the boat¡¯s oars.


    ¡°It¡¯s a mermaid,¡± Pinkey said, breathless.


    ¡°No, a fucking siren,¡± Tobi said.


    Andy dug out the wax in her ears and motioned for the men to do the same. The woman on the rocks hadn¡¯t made a sound since they got to her. The balls of wax fell to the bottom of the boat.


    Andy held the lantern up higher. The siren¡¯s eyes reflected the light. They were two, bright, white spots in the middle of her head. Her breathing was labored, but she raised her hand to look at Andy.


    Andy should have looked away. She knew the stories of sirens. Eli had told the crew long ago that they weren¡¯t to be trusted. They were to be killed on sight before they lured anyone under the water. They were nasty, cruel creatures.


    Eli had claimed he watched a siren devour a friend when he was young. They were stowaways on a merchant ship. One night, they heard what Eli described as the most beautiful voice he had ever heard. It sounded like a mother¡¯s lullaby. It was warm and comforting, and it was as if it was especially for them. They were pulled out from their hiding places and crawled to the top deck.


    A woman sat at the edge of the ship. She had held the boy''s face, smoothed her hands over his cheeks. Like a mother, she cradled him and looked into his eyes while she continued to sing. And then, her face peeled back to reveal three rows of teeth and bright, beady eyes. She pulled him in, head-first, and swallowed him whole. The shock of seeing the monster pulled Eli from her spell, and he ran back to his hiding spot with his hands pressed into his ears.


    But Andy was never sure if she believed him. It sounded too much like a fairy tale, and it didn¡¯t match any of the other witness accounts of sirens¡ªthe few that existed. There had never been any stories of gaping mouths with sharp teeth and motherly voices.


    It was clear, now, that the story was nothing more than that. A story.


    Their boat bumped the side of the rocks, and Andy climbed out. If the siren hadn¡¯t struck yet, then maybe she never would. Maybe they would help her out, and she would be on her way, thankful enough to not kill them.


    But she noticed the siren¡¯s eyes were not on her anymore and were set behind her. Andy looked over her shoulder. Tobi sat in the boat, his gun trained on the siren.


    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± Andy snapped.


    ¡°It¡¯s just a warning,¡± Tobi said.


    Andy¡¯s hands shook. She kneeled next to the siren. Her clothes were getting soaked from the ocean spraying them, and it was making her chills much worse. She tried to grab her knife, but she couldn¡¯t hold it steady enough.


    ¡°Pinkey, get over here,¡± she said.


    ¡°Sir?¡±


    ¡°Cut her loose.¡±


    He stepped out of the boat. There wasn¡¯t much room on the rocky island. They squeezed together.


    Andy shoved her knife at Pinkey and tried to keep the lantern still. Pinkey grabbed the net where it laid across her chest and sawed through it easily. He kept going, working his way down until he reached her tail. He hesitated either because the thick rope cut into her tail, leaving hardly any room to work. Or because he was taking it all in. It was a real siren tail. Right in front of him. And he had to touch it, free it.


    The siren had laid back down. Her eyes were half-closed, exhausted. She let Pinkey do what he needed to do.


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    ¡°Keep going,¡± Andy urged. ¡°She won¡¯t hurt us.¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    Andy held the lantern closer to the siren¡¯s face. She didn¡¯t know what a siren was supposed to look like, but this one looked like a sick human. Her face was gray. Her mouth was open, taking in weak breaths of air. All over her, the net had burned and wounded her. Deep gashes and mangled flesh were on display.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think she can,¡± Andy said.


    Pinkey tried grabbing hold of the net at her waist. He had worked in fishing markets, and he was used to working with slippery, slimy things. But her tail was different. He didn¡¯t want to touch it too much. He pressed the knife into the top of the rope and tried to saw through it. The net pushed further into the siren¡¯s tail and wiggled around in the wound it had already made. The siren¡¯s back arched, and her face scrunched up in agony.


    Andy pressed her hand over the siren¡¯s mouth to stop her from screaming. If they were on the ship, Martin would give her a belt to bite on. But they weren¡¯t, so Andy kept her hand over her mouth.


    Pinkey sliced through the rope with long strokes of the knife. It didn¡¯t free the siren much. He sat back and examined the mess. He began pulling at what he could, untwisting what was loose. The rope squeezed at scales, yanking them out in chunks and leaving splotches of exposed, pink flesh all over. Her tail had been rubbed raw in some places.


    For the next hour, the knife dulling quickly, Pinkey cut away small sections of net and pulled away what he could. Blood ran freely from the siren¡¯s tail, darkening the scales that remained and staining Pinkey¡¯s clothes and hands. He concentrated even though the splashes of seawater flattened his coily hair and plastered it to his face. He kept working, and Andy felt respect for him start to spark inside her.


    She shivered over the siren. Her hand didn¡¯t press into her mouth as hard. Her fingers were numb. Her limbs were starting to burn from the chill, and her head felt like it was about to roll off her shoulders. She watched Pinkey work, wishing he could go just a little faster, and then turned to the siren.


    She looked probably just as Andy did. She began to shiver as well. Her thin arms lay over her bare chest, crossing as if she was trying to hug herself. Andy took off her jacket. It wasn¡¯t keeping her warm, anyway, and she was too ill to be callous and watch a naked thing convulse from the cold.


    Andy laid the jacket over the siren¡¯s chest. The siren dropped her head closer to it, tucking her chin into whatever warmth it provided, and closed her eyes. She looked almost dead. Her long, black hair, what Andy could make out against the dark rocks, fanned out around her where it didn¡¯t stick to her face. It made her face look as white as a ghost. Even her lips, now, were pale.


    Pinkey gave a triumphant cry. He cut away the rest of the net and spread it on the rocks. He looked behind him and awkwardly turned around to examine what he had left. The siren seemed aware of what he needed, and her tail weakly lifted out of the water and bowed towards them before flopping back down. Pinkey sighed and leaned over the edge of the rock and sank two arms into the water. He hugged the tail to his chest, now clearly more comfortable with handling it, and pulled it onto the rocks, twisting the siren around. She didn¡¯t seem to mind being manhandled or, at least, could not protest against it.


    Pinkey moved the lantern closer to him. The tailfins were an even bigger mess than the rest of her tail. They were folded over and tied up in the net. There were, at least, not as many gashes. Pinkey got to work.


    ¡°We¡¯re bringing her on board,¡± Andy said.


    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± Tobi said.


    ¡°If you disagree, you can mutiny later. But if she stays here, she dies.¡±


    ¡°And why does that matter to you?¡±


    Andy wasn¡¯t sure why. Leaving her behind would be like abandoning an injured animal. Maybe her own illness made her more emotional, clouded her logic, but she didn¡¯t want to wonder the next morning if the siren would have made it if they had just stayed with her. It would be a level of cruelty Andy couldn¡¯t commit to, to help something just a little yet still leave it on the brink of death to squirm and suffer until it finally passed.


    ¡°We¡¯ll drop her off somewhere else when she¡¯s stronger,¡± Andy said. ¡°Or we use her as a crewmate. She owes us her life now.¡±


    ¡°And if she retaliates? She¡¯s not a human. She¡¯s a monster. She won¡¯t be loyal.¡±


    ¡°If she gives us trouble,¡± Andy said, grasping for an excuse, ¡°we keep her as insurance. In case the Navy finds us. We hand her over, and they let us go. And then she¡¯s not our problem anymore.¡±


    Andy was impressed with how quickly she thought of that with how sluggish her mind was running. Tobi didn¡¯t say anything, so Andy knew he was okay with the arrangement. Or he, at least, couldn¡¯t argue with it.


    The air managed to get even colder, and Andy no longer had any warmth anywhere in her. Every spray of water that hit her felt like a slap of ice. She was drenched. She wondered how neither Tobi nor Pinkey seemed affected. They wiped water out of their eyes and pushed back their drooping hair, but Pinkey kept sawing away at the rope.


    Tobi continued to watch, gun still pointed at the siren. Surely, it was too wet to work. The gunpowder had to be useless. It would never ignite. But Tobi¡¯s threat and distrust couldn¡¯t be taken back. He had to keep the gun steady if he wanted to maintain any control over the situation. Over the siren. Over Andy.


    Andy wanted to hide away in her cabin once they were back on the ship. She would lay under every blanket she owned. Martin, unfortunately, would want to bleed her. She was definitely burning with a raging fever by now.


    ¡°Captain,¡± Pinkey said, drawing Andy out of the cloud of her self-pity. ¡°She¡¯s free.¡±


    Andy nodded, slowly. Her mouth was so dry, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She peeled it off and croaked, ¡°Get her on the boat.¡±


    Andy stood. Her vision left her for a moment. The fog grew darker and thicker until suddenly it cleared. Pinkey was pulling the siren into the boat. He held onto the upper half of her body and dragged her tail across the rocks. She was limp, offering no help but not resisting. She was either resigned to the fact that she was going to be brought onboard a strange ship or was hopeful that she would be getting help.


    The four of them barely fit in the boat. It sat low in the water, and the siren¡¯s tail was draped over the edge, dragging behind them in the water and nearly tipping them over at times. It was awkward getting back to the ship, but they made it without drowning. The crew lifted their boat back up to the deck.


    The jerking and tilting of the boat as it was heaved up in the air made Andy more dizzy, more sick. She looked at the siren. She didn¡¯t look well, either. She rested against Pinkey now who held her almost like she was a pet.


    Tobi was out of the boat first. Then, Pinkey. Together, they pulled the siren out while the crew gawked. Andy could see, now, how magnificent she was. Her tail was long and thick and if it hadn¡¯t been covered in open sores, it would have been beautiful and shiny all over. In the light of the crew¡¯s lanterns, Andy could see how the unharmed scales reflected the light like a hundred tiny rainbows.


    Andy¡¯s jacket had fallen off of her as she was laid out on the deck. Her waist was thin, but her shoulders and chest were broad and had good muscle on them. Her torso was built like an upside-down triangle. Her arms, weakly trying to wrap around herself, were unsettlingly long. They seemed to stretch for a mile. Her hands, too, were large. Her palms were huge. Her fingers were spindly.


    Everything about her looked just a little off. Her awkward proportions, the combination of her muscle and slender frame. Even her face was a little off. Her eyes still glowed in the light when it hit them just right. Her cheekbones were unusually high.


    She was beautiful. Andy wanted to look at her for hours more. She wanted to take notes on her body and poke and prod her. When she would make Martin tend to her wounds, later, Andy wanted to join and feel if her skin was soft or maybe rough. She wanted to touch her hair and find out why it refused to tangle and mat despite dripping in saltwater and blood. She wanted to feel the hard muscle on her biceps and the subtle softness of her belly.


    The siren was a mystery that Andy was going to solve.


    Martin stretched over the side of the ship and offered his hands to Andy while the rest of the crew stood over the siren. Andy took his hands and slowly stood. Her soaking wet clothes clung to her body and made her feel like she had a hundred pounds tied to her. She was so cold and tired that she could no longer shiver. Her bones creaked as she moved, and when she swung her leg over the edge of the ship, her vision started to darken again.


    It never cleared. She tried to get her footing, but the ship¡¯s deck felt so uneven. She felt her knees slamming into the ground before she realized she was falling. Martin¡¯s hands grabbed at her shirt, at her slippery arms, but she fell further forward. On her way down, the rest of her vision left her. Her head hit the deck, and she was out.

 Chapter Three

    There were a few stories about sirens that Andy could remember.


    The first being Eli¡¯s which she did not want to think about anymore.


    The others were stories her father told her after long weeks at sea. Her mother didn¡¯t approve of any of them, but her father would let Andy sit up with him after her mother had fallen asleep. He would tell her the stories just as his crewmates had with a lantern between them and a mug of rum in one hand and his pipe in the other.


    ¡°He said his grandfather almost caught one. He said he swept one up on his boat by accident, but he let her go.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to sell sirens?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to. He could have gotten a pretty penny for her, but he got something better. He got to marvel at this thing, alone. He got to go home and be the only man in his village to have seen a siren. It was like he kept her for himself. And that was worth more than any money, Andrea.¡±


    ¡°Was she pretty?¡±


    ¡°Oh, she was as beautiful as his mother, his wife, and his daughter combined.¡±


    Her father had sketched crude drawings for her while he told the stories. The top half was always a woman, the bottom half always a fish. Though, her father told her, they could easily change their form. They could change from fish to humans. Some said they could even change into birds and swoop down on sailors from the sky.


    ¡°But you shouldn¡¯t get close to one. Not if you can help it.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°They can be temperamental things. For every man that gets to walk away, another three get pulled into the water.¡±


    ¡°What happens to them?¡±


    ¡°Well, we don¡¯t know. They can¡¯t come back up and tell us, can they? I was told the sirens eat them.¡±


    ¡°But then how do people sell them to the Navy?¡±


    ¡°They get lucky. Or they get cruel.¡±


    If only her father could have seen her pulling a siren off a rock in the middle of the ocean. It would have been a grand story for him to tell his crewmates. He would have set it up perfectly, as he did all his fishing stories, with alcohol and lanterns and his pipe.


    Martin laid his knuckles over Andy¡¯s temples. She could barely feel him next to her. She was in her own, suffocating world, memories of her father fading as she opened her eyes. Her frozen limbs had thawed and began to burn. Her bones felt like they had shattered inside her. Everything about her body felt wrong.


    It was almost as unbearable as she felt weeks ago.


    Through all of the pain and burning, she looked around her cabin. Martin sat next to her, falling into the shadows. He moved with the fleeting light. He dipped in and out of her vision as yellow light swung back and forth.


    She rolled her head down on her pillow. There was a spot of light, a lantern hanging from the ceiling, what seemed to be a mile away. At the end of the long stretch of room, in the light, was a fainting couch stolen from some fancy naval captain.


    Andy¡¯s eyes strained to try to focus on the lump on top of it. She didn¡¯t remember leaving anything on it. Not anything that big.


    She squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, her eyes were covered in just a little less water and grime. The edges of her vision were a little less blurred. The couch came into focus.


    The siren was wrapped up in a ratty blanket. She was unconscious and gagged with a rag between her teeth and wrapped around her head.


    Andy tried holding out her hand towards her, to point at her. She couldn¡¯t speak. She couldn¡¯t ask why the siren was in her cabin. But moving her arm made her swollen joints flare up in pain, like every nerve inside ruptured. She whimpered, weakly, pathetically.


    Martin took her wrist and laid her arm by her side.


    ¡°Don¡¯t move,¡± he said.


    He began pulling jars out of his bag. It was a dirty, old Gladstone. The leather was discolored and had cracked in some places. Whenever he opened it, a little bit of the exterior would flake off. He had had it for so many years and there were no longer any chances to replace it.


    Martin scooped a salve out of a jar and began rubbing it into Andy¡¯s bare shoulders. Martin worked the salve in her elbows next and then her wrists and then her hands. It smelled of foul herbs and left her skin greasy.


    Martin began working the salve into her ankles and then up to her knees. He had diligently covered her in it every day when she was ill. Andy couldn¡¯t remember if it helped any. Most of her memories of her illness were hazy from fever. But she could always remember Martin being by her side every day, tending to her.


    ¡°Stay put,¡± Martin said. He finished massaging her hips. ¡°If you move, you¡¯ll only make yourself more ill.¡±


    He laid the blankets back over Andy. He was so nauseatingly caring. Andy almost hated it.


    Andy waited for the siren to move. She was so far away, and Andy couldn¡¯t see well at all. It was hard to tell if she was shifting around on the couch or if the waves were rolling her. Andy couldn¡¯t see if she looked any better than she had when they brought her on board.


    The siren, surely, wasn¡¯t dead. If she were, the crew wouldn''t have dumped her in Andy¡¯s cabin. They would have wasted no time in dumping her overboard before she began to decay. Unless Tobi had cooked up some plan for her corpse. Unless he thought they could still use her as a bribe for the Navy. If they could pack her up in salt and preserve what they could just in case they needed her.


    The Navy was always looking for sirens to study. Every year flyers were hung up around seaside towns offering an award to any fisherman or merchant who returned home with one. The award was a very handsome amount of money that always seemed to increase. When new flyers were spread around towns, everyone packed extra fishing nets and ropes and claimed themselves to be perfectly capable of snagging a siren.


    But few men had ever actually been confirmed as selling one. There had been maybe one or two sirens caught every half-century. Andy, after all, had been on the water for years and had never seen one. Her father had fished for decades and only had crewmates¡¯ stories to tell.


    Which made Andy wonder if the sirens knew about the Navy¡¯s deals. Human civilians rarely saw sirens, but it didn¡¯t mean that the Navy wasn¡¯t poaching and catching sirens on their own. It didn¡¯t mean that the siren population could have been slowly dying while humans went about their days not even thinking about them.


    But it also didn¡¯t mean that the Navy was finding sirens on their own. After all, if they had had luck on their own, they wouldn¡¯t pay so much if a civilian happened to catch one. What Andy was most curious about was if their threat to turn their own siren over to the Navy would be a threat at all. Maybe she would laugh in their faces. Maybe she wouldn¡¯t even understand. There was also always the chance they didn¡¯t speak the same language.


    Andy couldn¡¯t make sense of it in her boiling brain. There was absolutely no way of knowing how much the sirens even knew about human life. And thinking about the Navy brought back unwanted memories of knives plunged through hands and dirty inns.


    Ultimately, Andy had no intention of handing her over to the Navy. She wanted to speak to the siren and she didn¡¯t want to help the Navy in any way even if it could save her life. If anyone would threaten the siren, it would be Tobi. And it would be very satisfying to watch Tobi¡¯s plans crumble. She knew that he was building it up in his head already.


    The power he could have over the siren¡ªthe money he¡¯d get if they turned her over. Andy wouldn¡¯t let it happen. She had never particularly wanted to meet a siren before, but now that she had, she wasn¡¯t going to let go of her until she got her answers.


    ***


    Martin never wanted an apprentice. He wasn¡¯t much of a teacher. If he needed an extra set of hands, he would bark orders at a crew member at random. Sometimes even at Andy. That evening, whichever evening it was, he had Jonny hold a bowl under Andy¡¯s arm.


    Martin propped Andy up in her bed and held her by the wrist. He readied his lancet and made an even cut below the inside of her elbow. Andy winced. Blood welled up immediately and streamed down into the bowl.


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Jonny held the bowl steady. He caught every drop of Andy¡¯s blood. Andy hoped he didn¡¯t enjoy the sight of her blood too much.


    Andy looked up. The siren was awake and watching her. Her eyes were dark. Andy got sucked into them. She tried looking at anything behind them beyond pure, raw exhaustion. And curiosity. Andy felt like she was being studied, like the siren was watching her as she watched the siren.


    Sweat began to break out all over Andy¡¯s body, chilling her immediately. She struggled to breathe.


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel well,¡± she said, laying her head back on the pillows.


    The familiar sensation of lightheadedness came back. Martin pressed a cloth to her arm, pushing down on the cut. Her lips were numb. Her limbs were cold. Blood rushed into her ears.


    ¡°Captain? Captain?¡±


    She opened her eyes. Jonny leaned in front of her. His bearded face was only inches away. Martin stood over her still, packing up his bag. Her arm had been wrapped up.


    Bastard, Andy thought.


    She must have fainted quickly. Martin patted her shoulder.


    ¡°Rest,¡± he said.


    She didn¡¯t want to. She wanted to throw her fists at Martin and pound his arms. She didn¡¯t want him to leave her alone, not with Jonny still standing there, holding her blood, so close to the siren who was probably so vulnerable. She wanted Martin to help her get to the siren, to swim through the fog of her fever so she could ask her if she was okay, if she needed help, and how she got wrapped up in the fishing net in the first place.


    But she felt heavy and weak, and her body didn¡¯t let her get up and fight. She fell asleep in her sweat-drenched clothes, a pounding between her ears, trying to focus again on the siren still watching her.


    ***


    Andy slept through the fourth day of her fever, unaware that it was the third day. When she woke up on the fifth day, she felt like she had been in bed for weeks.


    Her body didn¡¯t ache as much. The deep, splintering pain all over her body had been replaced by a dull throb. She took in deep, easy breaths. She propped herself up on her arms and looked at the fainting couch. The siren sat there, watching her. It had been real. She was real. Andy had a hundred things to ask her if she could understand them.


    The siren was dressed in a shirt that might have once been white but was now a dingy yellowish color. Her hair had been pulled back and was tied at the base of her neck.


    Andy sat up and put her feet on the floor. She tested her strength and slowly pushed herself up to stand. All was well. She took a step. Her hips creaked and resisted moving, but she pushed through it.


    By the time she reached the siren, she was out of breath and her legs shook. She sat on the edge of the table that sat across from the fainting couch. She pushed all of the junk on top of it aside. Nothing was important. Mostly junk Andy had quickly grabbed from other ships. Old documents, a paperweight, a few broken pens.


    The siren didn¡¯t move. She watched Andy. They stared at each other for a minute. Andy reached out for her, but the siren pulled away as her hand came closer to her face.


    ¡°I just want to take this off,¡± Andy said.


    She reached behind the siren¡¯s head and shoved her finger into the knot. The gag fell loose. The siren opened her mouth, and Andy pulled the rag out. The siren licked her lips with a wince. The corners of her mouth were cracked and dried.


    Andy threw the gag aside. There was no need for it. Andy knew, deep down, that the siren wouldn¡¯t hurt her. There was no need to. It would have happened by now, Andy thought. If she were strong enough, if she were malicious enough, she wouldn¡¯t have sat in that room, on that couch, for so long. Besides, her father''s warning has been that sirens were temperamental. Not inherently vicious. Andy just had to stay on her good side.


    The siren held up her hands. Her wrists were loosely bound with rope. Andy worked it loose quickly. Whoever had tied it must have had mercy for there were no marks left behind. Whoever tied it, Andy believed, knew she wasn¡¯t any threat.


    Andy could see now that the siren looked a little more human and a little less dead. Her face was covered in healing, small scratches, but it had recovered a healthier pallor. The biggest change was her tail. It was gone. Andy could see two lumps under her blanket and assumed she had sprouted legs. As the myths said, the siren could shapeshift.


    ¡°So,¡± Andy said. She was nervous. She didn¡¯t know what to say to a siren. She didn¡¯t know if the siren could even understand her. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±


    Andy had never asked anyone how they felt before. It was a cringe-inducing question. It didn¡¯t sound genuine, either, coming from her.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± the siren said.


    ¡°Oh! You can speak English? You can speak human languages?¡±


    ¡°Obviously.¡± The siren didn¡¯t seem amused.


    In her head, Andy suspected that the siren would be passive and helpless. Andy had imagined herself as her hero and that the siren would be grateful for her. But she seemed indifferent. Almost like she didn¡¯t want to be bothered. Which was a shame because Andy had never wanted to speak to someone so much before.


    Part of it was because she was a siren, and Andy was curious. Another part was because she thought the siren was very beautiful and talking to her would let Andy look at her longer. It was as simple as that. Andy liked pretty women, and that was apparently not limited to human women.


    ¡°I was told a story once about a siren," Andy said. She wanted it to be clear that she knew a thing or two about sirens. Or that she had at least heard about them. "Apparently she was beautiful. But she ate someone."


    The siren stared at her, mouth opening to form a response but then closing again. Finally, she settled on, ¡°I think that was just a story.¡±


    ¡°Probably was.¡± Andy leaned back and sighed, trying to make it appear that she wasn¡¯t bothered by the siren¡¯s dismissiveness. ¡°The man who told me wasn¡¯t the most trustworthy. He said he saw a siren peel back their face and eat a man whole with six rows of teeth.¡±


    "Does it look like I have six rows of teeth?"


    "Well, not right now."


    ¡°Maybe that man was lying because he was the one who killed and ate that man.¡±


    ¡°Humans don¡¯t eat other humans,¡± Andy said. Then, she quickly corrected herself. ¡°Some humans do. But not this one never did.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t sure the reason for Eli¡¯s lie. Maybe Eli had killed someone and blamed it on a siren if it was before his pirating days, if he was still young. Or maybe the whole story was fabricated. Maybe the friend hadn¡¯t existed at all. Eli liked attention, and he liked lying.


    Eli was dead, though, so there wasn¡¯t much reason to think about it for long.


    "I know other stories," Andy said.


    "I don''t want to hear them."


    The door to Andy¡¯s cabin opened. Pinkey walked in holding a jar of thick, white salve. He looked startled when he saw Andy and the siren sitting together. Andy didn¡¯t know her door had been unlocked and that her crew had been letting themselves in and out. Martin probably allowed it, not realizing how dangerous it was. Tobi probably encouraged it, knowing exactly of Andy¡¯s fears.


    ¡°Captain, you¡¯re awake,¡± Pinkey said. He lifted the jar. ¡°The doctor told me to bring this in for her.¡±


    Andy looked at the siren. She threw her blankets aside. She wasn¡¯t wearing any bottoms. Andy couldn¡¯t believe what she was seeing. The nasty gashes up and down her legs had already scabbed over. The worst was still red and puffy, but it looked like she was healing at an exceptional rate.


    ¡°You can leave it with me,¡± the siren said.


    Pinkey¡¯s eyes widened, and he held out an accusatory finger at her. ¡°You¡¯re talking! Has she been talking to you, captain?¡±


    ¡°Of course, she has.¡±


    ¡°We tried getting her to talk. We stuffed our ears with cotton and took off her gag, but she just looked at us with those big eyes. Tobi told us to keep the gag on her if she wasn¡¯t going to cough anything up. I figured she didn¡¯t understand anything.¡±


    The siren glanced between Andy and Pinkey. She didn¡¯t seem bothered. She held out her hand for the jar.


    ¡°All those times I¡¯ve sat with you and just chatted, you knew exactly what I was saying?¡± Pinkey asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± the siren said.


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you say anything back?¡± Pinkey lowered his voice. ¡°I would¡¯ve taken that nasty rag out for good.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to interrupt.¡±


    Andy could see that Pinkey wasn¡¯t truly upset. The siren had such a smooth way of talking, it was hard to be mad at her. Andy suspected that it could have been her siren powers but then thought better of it. Pinkey was also easygoing. He seemed to get a little kick out of interrogating her.


    The door opened again. Martin let himself in and immediately cast a dark look at Andy.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be up,¡± he said.


    ¡°And you shouldn¡¯t be coming in and out of my quarters with my permission,¡± Andy said.


    ¡°And let you boil alive from your fever?¡±


    Martin joined the three of them and took Andy by the elbow. Andy pulled out of his hold.


    ¡°I¡¯m talking to our guest,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯d be rude of me to ignore her. I was just about to ask her for her name and if there were any accommodations we might provide for her. I¡¯m trying to be a good host.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are. Back to bed.¡±


    Pirates weren¡¯t supposed to rest, yet Martin always insisted on it. If Andy had her way, she would be back on the deck. Martin took her elbow again.


    ¡°Do you have a name?¡± Andy asked, quickly.


    ¡°Syan.¡±


    ¡°Syan,¡± Andy repeated, wanting to say it over and over again. ¡°I¡¯m Andy.¡±


    Martin glanced Syan over, mildly surprised by her talking. But he recovered quickly and pulled Andy to her feet.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be on my way,¡± Andy said to Syan. ¡°But if you need me, you know where to find me.¡±


    Syan nodded, smiling just a little. Almost like she didn¡¯t want to but couldn¡¯t help it.


    Martin sat Andy back in bed. He went through his examination of her, checking her joints and temperature, and pulse. Andy looked over his shoulder and watched Syan. She rubbed the salve from the jar into the wounds on her thighs. When she tried to bend down to reach her calves, she suddenly winced and sat back up.


    Pinkey gently pushed her back and took the jar himself. Like an expert, he covered her legs and feet in a generous amount of salve. Her skin was shiny and whitewashed when he was done. He sat next to her, and she lifted her shirt to her ribs, revealing thick lines of healing gashes that stretched almost entirely around her waist. Pinkey scooped out more salve and began smoothing it out over them.


    ¡°How long has he been doing that?¡± Andy asked. Pinkey seemed to know what he was doing.


    ¡°He said he wanted to help her the morning after you brought her onboard. So, four days, is it? Maybe five. The days, they all seem to blend together.¡±


    ¡°Why is she even in here?¡±


    ¡°There was no other place to put her, and Tobi said that since you were obsessed with her, she might as well stay with her.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not obsessed with her.¡±


    Pinkey helped Syan to lay back down. She seemed so tired all of a sudden. She accepted all of Pinkey¡¯s help pulling the blanket back over her legs. Her head fell to the side. Her mouth was turned down in a frown. Her eyes looked almost sad, her brow was pinched so.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on with her?¡± Andy whispered. ¡°How are her legs totally fine?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re not,¡± Martin whispered back. ¡°I suspect there¡¯ll be some permanent damage. Her wounds went deep.¡±


    ¡°But she looks healed.¡±


    ¡°Ah, she does look fine on the outside.¡± Martin looked up from his examination of Andy¡¯s knees. She could see a smile under his beard. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m just that good of a doctor.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Andy said, ¡°it has to be something else.¡±


    ¡°Sirens must heal quicker than us humans. I¡¯ve heard sea creatures can do remarkable things to mend themselves. Like a starfish that can grow its leg back after it¡¯s been severed.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not a starfish.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s an outstanding observation. Come, lay down. I can see you¡¯ve worn yourself out.¡±


    Andy was feeling a bit tired, but she wanted to stay up longer. She could push herself. She wanted to keep an eye on Pinkey and talk to Syan more. Still, her head sunk into her pillow. Her eyes grew heavy. There was a mild throbbing growing behind her temples.


    ¡°You can enjoy your company later,¡± Martin said.


    ¡°I¡¯m not enjoying her. I¡¯m putting up with her presence and interrogating her.¡±


    ¡°You can tell yourself that.¡±

 Chapter Four

    Sometimes, Andy could feel Eli¡¯s hands on her.


    They tugged on her shirt. They untied her trousers. They felt for her breasts under the bandaging she used to bind them close to her chest. They chilled her flesh wherever they touched her until the freezing cold spread all over her body. She was left trembling.


    His hands were large, and his fingers were thick. When they grabbed her arms, they crushed her muscles. Andy could feel every callous on his skin. His hands were so rough it was like being rubbed down by coarse sand. A thousand tiny scrapes appeared on her arms, too tiny to see but still stinging.


    She felt his hands when she slept. Especially when she was feverish.


    When she felt his hands in the middle of an awful dream after her relapse, they felt too real. It was as if he was standing over her again. Andy balled up her fist and swung upwards. She wouldn¡¯t let him get any further than he had last time.


    Syan stumbled back. Andy¡¯s fist just missed cracking her jaw. She stared down at Andy, eyes wide and betraying the stoic mask she had been wearing. Her hands were clasped together in front of her.


    ¡°You were crying out,¡± she said. ¡°I was going to wake you.¡±


    Andy sat up, curling her legs underneath her. Sun lit up the room. She looked around Eli¡¯s cabin¡ªher cabin. She saw all of her junk. All of her little pillaged treasures covered every inch of the place. There wasn¡¯t a sign of him anywhere.


    She looked up at Syan who still stood next to her bed, awkwardly, unsure what to do. Syan¡¯s poise was gone. She had been shaken, frightened, and she couldn¡¯t hide it from Andy. Her hair which had been so beautiful and tangle-free now looked like it had been slept on for days. It hung in her face, making her cheekbones look that much more hollow and alien.


    ¡°Get back on your side of the room,¡± Andy said. She felt like a child again, demanding her own space for herself.


    Syan held her shoulders up, reclaiming some of her pride. ¡°Don¡¯t cry out in your sleep, then. I only wanted to repay you.¡±


    She turned and began walking back to the fainting couch. She limped. Her wounds clearly weren¡¯t as healed as they looked. Martin must have been right. There had to have been damage underneath.


    Andy tossed her blankets aside. She was hot all of a sudden. Her fever was still burning through her. If Martin found her sweating and panting, he would bleed her again, and she wasn¡¯t sure if she could go through that twice in one week.


    ¡°What do you mean by repay me?¡± she asked.


    ¡°You freed me from the nets six moons ago,¡± Syan said. ¡°I thought waking you from a night terror would be some help to you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to repay me. I only pulled you out of the fishing net to get you to shut up. Did you know we could hear your screaming miles away?¡±


    ¡°Yes. That was my intention. I was looking for help.¡±


    Andy crossed her arms. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t cry for help from just anyone. You could have attracted the wrong people.¡±


    ¡°As far as I¡¯m aware, you are the wrong people. I wasn¡¯t looking for humans.¡±


    ¡°Then who were you looking for?¡±


    Andy fell back on her pillows. She spread her arms and legs out. It was blessedly empty. Free of all hands except her own.


    ¡°My choir. I was expecting to drive away any humans. I have no idea why you came.¡±


    So, Syan had been trying to deter humans and trying to attract her people. Her sirens. It was probably why Andy felt so ill that night. Maybe they shouldn¡¯t have chased after her. Maybe it was a dumb decision to sail into the sickening shrieking.


    But then Syan probably would have died. She didn¡¯t look well at all when they found her. She didn¡¯t look well sitting on the fainting couch, either. She was trying to calm her breathing. Andy could see her chest rising and falling a little hard after her short walk.


    ¡°How did we beat your choir to you?¡± Andy asked. ¡°How did you get so far away from them?¡±


    Syan laid her hands on her legs. She spread her fingers out wide, her palms pressed into the raised scarring of her thighs.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know how we reached you first? Or you don¡¯t know how you got so far?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Syan rubbed her thumbs into her legs, massaging little spots. ¡°We were separated somewhere in northern waters when I was trapped by the net. I was dragged away, and when I finally broke free, they were gone. They hadn¡¯t followed.¡±


    Andy almost held her tongue but, as usual, she did not. ¡°That¡¯s shit. That is a heaping pile of whale shit.¡±


    Syan let out a short bark of a laugh. ¡°You¡¯re crude.¡±


    ¡°But tell me I¡¯m wrong. Your choir could have helped you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what happened. Maybe they had to leave. There could have been more trouble. It might have been too dangerous for all of us if they had followed me.¡±


    ¡°What I don¡¯t understand is that you managed to pull a fishing net off of a boat. You must be incredibly strong. You¡¯re telling me that a group of you couldn¡¯t have easily freed you before it dragged you away?¡±


    Syan shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m not that strong.¡±


    ¡°I suspect you must be stronger than humans. When we¡¯re both well again, we¡¯ll have to wrestle to determine that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you up on that challenge.¡±


    ¡°Have you ever wrestled with a man before?¡±


    ¡°A man, yes. A woman, I haven¡¯t had the pleasure.¡±


    She thought about the excitement of having Syan¡¯s wide, strong hands pin her to the floor. Syan¡¯s hands would warm her where Eli had touched her.


    ¡°You need to tell me all about your type,¡± Andy said, her curiosity peeking out again. ¡°How often do you interact with humans?¡±


    ¡°We try to keep our distance, but humans have been bothering us an exceptional amount. When they come into the same water we¡¯re in, and they stay around a little too long, we have to do something.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s when you eat humans?¡±


    ¡°I told you. We don¡¯t eat humans.¡±


    Andy laughed to herself. She got a sick joy from annoying other people. And something about annoying Syan brought her extra joy. She loved seeing Syan¡¯s half-pout on her otherwise well-controlled face.


    But as much as she wanted to continue annoying Syan, she also wanted answers to all of her questions. She sobered up and sat up again. The muscles in her back tightened, and her hips fought against her. She settled on lounging back, supporting herself on her elbows.


    ¡°What about the Navy?¡± she asked. ¡°How often do you see them?¡±


    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°The Navy?¡±


    ¡°They have big ships. White hair. Blue uniforms.¡±


    ¡°The Blue Men.¡± Syan lowered her head down and then back up. She didn¡¯t meet Andy¡¯s eyes. She squeezed her hands together. ¡°We see them a lot.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re violent, aren¡¯t they?¡±


    ¡°Yes. But we can be more so. It¡¯s just their¡­ determination that causes the most trouble. They never give up looking for us. And it¡¯s exhausting.¡±


    ¡°They never give up chasing us, either.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s your relationship with them?¡±


    ¡°Well, we¡¯re pirates. Pirates and the Navy are natural enemies. They want to capture us. We want to avoid them. Or kill them. Mostly avoid when we don¡¯t have a lot of men to defend the ship.¡±


    ¡°Are you avoiding them right now?¡±


    ¡°We are.¡±


    ¡°Have you ever had to fight them before?¡±


    Andy had. She thought about bloody hands and her long-lost knife. She thought about other, larger encounters with them while she was under Eli¡¯s command. But they always paled in comparison to her first confrontation, when she was alone.


    ¡°There was this one run-in I had,¡± Andy said. ¡°I got away. I stabbed this captain through the hand with my knife and ran.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°What about you? Any good stories?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve drowned a few of them with my choir. But we haven¡¯t been as lucky as you. Not everyone in my choir has been able to run away.¡±


    Andy let out a slow breath of air. She wanted to know more, but she was also happy leaving the conversation where it was. She didn¡¯t need the grim details of Syan luring men off their ship and holding them underwater while her kin was kidnapped, and Syan didn¡¯t need to know any more about Captain Bettridge.


    It wasn¡¯t like they would run into him. It would be a miracle if he continued serving after Andy stabbed him. She had driven her knife directly through the middle of his hand, sticking him to the table, severing anything inside that got in the way of her blade. There was no way he could have ever used that hand again.


    Andy was positive he was no longer a Navy captain. He probably returned in shame after letting a pirate get away. Not even an experienced pirate, at that. Just a young person who wandered a little too far away from the rest of her crew on land.


    There was a knock on the door. Martin walked in holding two bowls. One was in his hand. The other was wedged in his elbow like he was a poorly-trained servant.


    ¡°You need to build your strength back up,¡± he said. He handed one bowl to Syan. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if this isn¡¯t to your liking, my dear, but really, it¡¯s not to any of our likings.¡±


    ¡°The gruel isn¡¯t very good on a pirate ship,¡± Andy said when she took her bowl.


    She stirred the porridge around. Her hollow stomach ached. She hadn¡¯t had much food, and she was starving enough to be eager for the tasteless lumps.


    ¡°Oh no,¡± Martin mumbled.


    Andy looked up. Syan had forgone her spoon and had begun scooping her porridge out with her fingers. She bent her fingers and brought her mouth forward so as to not spill any food on herself. She took one slow bite and then finding that the porridge was edible, began diving her fingers back in and quickly pulling them into her mouth.


    Martin sighed. Andy smiled.


    ¡°I like her,¡± she said.


    She dropped her spoon and dug her fingers into her bowl.


    ***


    It took a few days for Andy and Syan to totally get out of bed and step outside beyond Andy¡¯s cabin. Syan¡¯s legs had almost totally healed on the outside. Her scars had flattened and faded. But she still walked a bit unsteadily. She wobbled up the stairs that led to the deck, Martin keeping a cautious hand out behind her.


    The sun hurt Andy¡¯s eyes. Pain pierced through her head until her vision adjusted to the bright light.


    She was pleased to see the day crew had gathered on the deck. They sharpened their knives and swords. They napped in sunny spots like they were a bunch of cats. Tobi, of course, was missing. He was probably buried under logs and maps somewhere.


    Syan watched them all in what was probably her own, subdued version of awe.


    Andy walked Syan to the edge of the ship on the upper deck and found a spot for them to sit. Syan stretched her legs out in front of her. She had been lent a pair of trousers by someone, though Andy wasn¡¯t sure who had any clothes to spare. They barely fit her. They looked as if they were supposed to be long enough to reach her ankles, but they stopped before. A rope held them up at her waist, bunching the fabric together.


    ¡°How many men are on this ship?¡± Syan asked, craning her neck to look at all of them again.


    ¡°Right now, there¡¯s 17 of us. There¡¯s me, the captain if you haven¡¯t caught on yet, and Tobi, my first mate.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s a first mate?¡±


    Syan ran her fingers through her hair. She swung it over one shoulder and began dividing it into three sections, pulling it apart. It seemed that all she needed to do to untangle her hair was run her fingers through it.


    Andy felt her own hair. She liked keeping it short. She sawed away at it with a knife every so often so that it never reached past her ears. But it always had a straw-like texture. It was dry and knotted most days.


    ¡°A first mate is the second in command,¡± Andy said. ¡°If I couldn¡¯t act as a captain, Tobi would take over.¡±


    He was probably acting captain as they spoke. He wasn¡¯t one to waste time taking command. He wouldn¡¯t like having to hand it back over now that Andy was out of bed.


    Syan plaited her hair. Her fingers worked fast to braid it together until she reached the ends. It was tight and even. It looked perfect. Without anything to hold it together, she let go and let the very bottom unravel.


    ¡°That¡¯s Jonny, our quartermaster.¡± Andy pointed. Jonny sat below them, whittling a chunk of wood. ¡°He keeps track of all our records. He knows what we have and don¡¯t have on the ship. And you¡¯ve met Martin. He¡¯s our surgeon. Everyone else is a deckhand. And half of them are off their shift right now, so they¡¯re probably sleeping.¡±


    There would have been more to introduce if that nasty fever hadn¡¯t killed them. If Syan had only been there months before, she would have met Andy, healthy, and a handful more men.


    ¡°What does the captain do?¡± Syan asked. ¡°Besides lay in bed for a week after recklessly chasing sirens?¡±


    ¡°I do a lot. I lay in bed for a week even when I¡¯m not recklessly chasing sirens.¡±


    Syan sighed and looked back to the crew. Without a serious answer, she wasn¡¯t going to humor Andy with any more conversation. It looked like Andy was going to have to lay off the jokes. After all, Syan had been straight with her about her life. Andy could at least keep the balance and offer some sincerity.


    ¡°If you really want to know,¡± Andy said. ¡°I decide where we¡¯re going. I decide what ships we attack. I decide which ships we avoid. When we need more crewmen, I decide who we snatch off other ships and force to join us.¡±


    Syan ran her fingers through her hair again, undoing her plait. She didn¡¯t look worried or scared, but she asked, ¡°Was I snatched to be part of your crew?¡±


    ¡°Why, do you want to stay here?¡±


    Andy was a bit too quick with her question. She sounded desperate. But having Syan on board took her mind off of her problems. She had only been there for a week¡ªand most of that week, Andy was unconscious¡ªbut while she was there, Andy hadn¡¯t thought about how much she usually wanted to jump overboard. The water didn¡¯t call for her.


    Syan was new. She was change. Not only that, she was proof that there was more life beyond what Andy knew. Proof Andy could touch. And Andy wanted the opportunity to touch Syan. She wanted to tease her and talk to her until Syan allowed her hands on hers.


    ¡°I¡¯d just like to know if I¡¯m here for convalescence or if I¡¯m here to do dirty work for you,¡± Syan said.


    ¡°You¡¯re here for whatever you like. You told me you drowned men. I¡¯m not going to force you into anything.¡±


    She did wish Syan would stay, though, just a little longer. Syan¡¯s hands left her hair and laid on her thighs. If she did want to leave, Andy wasn¡¯t sure if she could. Not yet, at least.


    ¡°Right now,¡± Andy said, ¡°we¡¯re headed to a port. There¡¯s a small town we¡¯re stopping at to pick up supplies and recruit more men. Between now and then, I don¡¯t plan on having a run-in with any other ships if we can help it. We have a few weeks left at sea where you don¡¯t have to do anything.¡±


    Andy didn¡¯t want to make the offer, but she did anyway. It would be the right thing to do, and while she hardly ever cared about doing the right thing, she knew it was different this time.


    ¡°So,¡± she said, ¡°when we get to the port, you can hop off the ship and do whatever you want. Or you can stay with us.¡±


    ¡°Until I find my choir?¡±


    ¡°Are you really going to go looking for them?¡±


    ¡°Of course. I need them.¡±


    ¡°But they didn¡¯t look for you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know that. They could be looking for me right now. So, I could either depart at the port and swim back to where I lost them. Or I could stay with you and look for them wherever you¡¯re going?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t exactly what Andy was offering. Maybe it would be too much to offer someone a permanent place on the ship when they weren¡¯t even human and when they had something else waiting for them. Possibly waiting for them.


    Andy doubted that Syan¡¯s choir was out there looking. She would think it wouldn¡¯t be hard for sirens to find one another if they could be heard so far away.


    But still, Andy wanted to ask if she wanted to stay for reasons beyond trying to get back to her choir. She wanted to ask if being on a pirate ship inspired any new feelings. Anything that made her want to be a little adventurous. She wanted to know if Syan had been tired of her old life, too.


    Thinking about going back to her old life, with a siren only being a fleeting moment in it, was more devastating than if Andy had never met Syan at all.


    ¡°But why do you need them?¡± Andy asked. ¡°Why do you need to find them?¡±


    ¡°Because I need¡ª¡± Syan began to snap. She stopped herself. ¡°Because sirens don¡¯t travel alone. We just don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not alone. You¡¯re with a whole crew of people.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant.¡±


    Andy didn¡¯t press. She wasn¡¯t going to get on the bad side of a siren. She didn¡¯t need to know everything so badly.


    The idea of Syan leaving and, really, the idea of Andy meaning less to Syan than Syan already meant to Andy was crushing. Andy had just met someone new, someone she could explore and get to know, but she had no intentions of staying longer than she had to. Because Andy wasn¡¯t worth getting to know.


    Andy looked out to the ocean. Everything she felt only moments ago was different. If Syan wasn¡¯t true, lasting change, then maybe an accident where Andy toppled overboard was appealing again.


    ¡°Let me think about it,¡± Syan said. ¡°It might be a while before I¡¯m fully recovered. I don¡¯t know what it¡¯ll be like to swim in my condition right now.¡±


    ¡°Take all the time you need.¡±


    And in that time, Andy would hope she would decide to stay.

 Chapter Five

    Andy slowly returned to her duties.


    She slept heavily at night and woke up, often drenched from a midnight fever, with the sun almost completely over the horizon. Every morning Syan would already be sitting up and staring at her. It had been almost unsettling at first, but then Andy began to appreciate it. She had never had someone wait for her to wake up before.


    In her youth, she had been woken up by her mother loudly listing all of the morning chores that needed to be done. On ships, she had been violently woken up by crewmates getting ready for the day. As captain, she rose when she wanted to, but it was always to emptiness. Syan wasn¡¯t watching Andy with the intention of being unnerving. She was being patient.


    They left Andy¡¯s cabin together and took meals together. Andy taught Syan how to hold a fork between her thumb and fingers, though Syan usually abandoned her cutlery for her hands. She claimed it was a waste of utensils. Why would she need a vessel to bring food to her mouth when she had perfectly useful hands? Andy couldn¡¯t argue. Her logic was sound. And it wasn¡¯t as though any of the men cared.


    Between meals, Andy let Syan follow her around. She showed her the ship but barely introduced her to the rest of the crew. Syan showed some interest in the workings of the ship. She liked watching the men throw their swords around in practice duels. She liked learning how pirates lived. But often Andy found her staring out in the water, not listening. And when Andy caught her staring off, she had to stop herself from doing the same.


    Andy wondered if one day she would be looking out into the ocean and a dozen sirens would swim up and wave to Syan who would jump in the water to join them. Andy held her breath sometimes when peering out into the open waters. But Andy remembered what Syan had said to her. She probably couldn¡¯t swim in her condition. For the time being, Syan was going to stay.


    And if she was going to stay, she really needed some ability to defend herself. There was no guarantee they were going to have an easy journey back to the port, and Andy didn¡¯t know how willing the crew would be to help her.


    ¡°How are you out of the water?¡± Andy asked one morning. ¡°I mean, how well do you think you can defend yourself if you were stuck on this ship?¡±


    Syan had tried looking dignified. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I¡¯ve never had any trouble with anyone outside of water.¡±


    Andy hummed. She thought in the absolute worst case, if something were to happen, Syan would be nearly defenseless.


    ¡°What about singing?¡± Andy asked. ¡°What does that do?¡±


    ¡°A siren¡¯s song will distract and attract.¡± Syan said it as she was reading from a book. ¡°A song won¡¯t be useful if I don¡¯t have anything else at my disposal.¡±


    ¡°It would buy you time,¡± Pinkey said, butting in. Andy clenched her jaw. ¡°If you could sing when you¡¯re in trouble, you could make a run for it.¡±


    ¡°But if I¡¯m on a ship in the middle of the ocean without anywhere to run to, I would just be delaying the inevitable,¡± Syan said.


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t it give you time to run some men through with swords? If you¡¯re surrounded, and you have all these men under your spell, you could just stab them all up before you stopped singing.¡±


    Syan tilted her head. She stared down at her porridge in deep thought. It was the most ridiculous thing Andy had ever heard. If Syan had unlimited killing power, she would know.


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought about something like that before,¡± Syan said. ¡°I suppose it could work as long as a siren could keep their concentration. It is exhausting having to sing, after all. And to put so many people under a song while attacking all of them at the same time¡ªa siren would have to be very disciplined. But even then, sirens aren¡¯t cold-blooded killers. I don¡¯t know what stories you¡¯re all told, but sirens don¡¯t mindlessly kill humans.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard that it¡¯s a siren¡¯s beauty that really lures men to their death.¡±


    ¡°Then it must not be an unpleasant death for you humans.¡±


    Andy sighed loud enough to interrupt them. If not, the hypotheticals would go on forever.


    ¡°You should learn how to defend yourself with a sword. That¡¯s what I¡¯m getting at,¡± Andy said. ¡°If you can¡¯t drown a man, you should know how to stab one.¡±


    ¡°How do I learn?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to teach you. Today.¡±


    Syan spooned another three-fingerful of porridge in her mouth. She didn¡¯t protest, so Andy pulled out two swords after they finished eating and took Syan to the main deck. Pinkey followed them and watched Syan hold her sword. She tested the weight of it, lifting it up and down.


    ¡°It¡¯s a cutlass,¡± Andy said. ¡°The blade is short and curved. The hilt will protect your hand.¡± Andy gripped the handle of Syan¡¯s sword, showing her how solid the guard was. ¡°It¡¯s for close combat.¡±


    Andy loved a good cutlass. They were short, sturdy things just like herself. It felt right to have one in her hand. She had mastered holding them. They always felt like an extension of her arm¡ªsomething she would have to tell Syan to try to replicate once she learned the absolute basics.


    Andy had had many good times with a sword. They were more satisfying and more useful than guns. To drive a blade through a man trying to kill her was a feeling like no other.


    ¡°The great thing about a cutlass,¡± Andy said, ¡°is that you can hit from any angle. You can slash someone. You can stab through them. You can also beat them with the guard.¡±


    Andy demonstrated, gently punching Syan in the shoulder. Syan frowned at her and punched back. The metal made contact with her arm at a snail¡¯s pace. It shouldn¡¯t have hurt, but the metal digging into her made the dull ache in her joints flare up for a moment.


    ¡°Hold out your sword,¡± Andy said. ¡°I¡¯ll teach you how to disarm. If you learn how to disarm someone, you stand a chance at buying yourself time to attack.¡±


    Syan held the sword out vertically. Andy raised the blade so that she was in a proper fighting position. At least, the sword was. Syan¡¯s empty arm hung limply at her side, and her legs were close together. She looked like an awkward baby animal trying to take its first steps.


    Andy pressed her sword against Syan¡¯s. Then, she quickly slid the blade down until it was hooked right above Syan¡¯s hand. She twisted, and Syan gave in to the pressure. There was a satisfying clatter of a sword hitting the deck.


    ¡°The closer you are to your opponent¡¯s hand, the easier it¡¯ll be to push their sword away,¡± Andy said.


    ¡°How do I stop someone from disarming me, then?¡±


    ¡°You have to act first. You have to be quick.¡±


    Syan had gumption. She held her sword back up. Andy met her blade. Again, she went low until she could twist Syan¡¯s sword. But Syan put up a fight this time. She kept her blade steady and tried twisting her body to give herself more leverage. Every move she made was on instinct, trying to use all of her brute force to overpower Andy¡¯s skills.


    Andy laid her hand against her blade and twisted further until Syan couldn¡¯t keep her hold or her stance. She gave in to Andy¡¯s weight, allowing herself defeat, and then stumbled back. Her feet couldn¡¯t keep up with her. She fell to the deck and looked up at Andy, her hair hanging in her face and almost snarling. At least, her anger would drive her to keep trying.


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    Andy offered her a hand. She hadn¡¯t meant to throw Syan to the ground, and she wasn¡¯t particularly fond of looking down at Syan who was still injured, still weak.


    ¡°Captain,¡± Pinkey said, ¡°it¡¯s not fair. You haven¡¯t taught her a good stance yet.¡±


    He offered her a hand as well, but Syan ignored both of them. She pushed herself to her feet by herself, taking a second to get her footing.


    ¡°Show me how to stand,¡± she said.


    Pinkey took her gently by the wrist and guided her arm out. Her elbow was at a good angle. Her sword wasn¡¯t too high or too low. Pinkey had Syan mimic his stance, knees bent, legs apart. Pinkey was a good fighter and a better teacher. Andy had to admit it. And he made Syan look like a good fighter. She looked good like she was ready to take on Andy.


    They readied their swords. Their blades felt one another, running up and down against each other. Andy pulled away and swung harder than she probably should have. Her sword hit Syan¡¯s with a loud clang. It was a nostalgic sound. It reminded Andy of being in battle again, throwing her sword around and looking enemies in the eyes before driving the sword home into their bodies.


    But she wasn¡¯t looking at an enemy, she was looking at Syan¡¯s wincing face. Andy was ready to take it easy. There was no point in abusing Syan or exhausting her until she couldn¡¯t practice for another three days. Andy should have taught her the basics, taught her how to give herself a chance in a fight, and built from there. Smashing swords wasn¡¯t going to protect Syan at all.


    Something was triggered in Syan, though, and she swung her sword back. When their swords clashed, Andy keeping hers firmly in place, Syan slid her blade down until it reached Andy¡¯s guard. She tried pushing it away, but Andy held it steady. The muscles in Andy¡¯s arms flexed and throbbed. They were underused and had shrunk, leaving Andy feeling weaker than she had in a long time.


    With all of her weight, Syan stepped forward and pushed again. Andy immediately saw the mistake. The top of her blade was only inches away from Syan¡¯s neck. With one easy move, Andy could push it into the soft flesh on her throat, slicing through her arteries and veins. It would take only seconds for enough blood to kill her to spill out onto the deck.


    ¡°Stop.¡± She pushed her hand into Syan¡¯s chest. ¡°You¡¯d be dead. Look.¡±


    She tapped Syan¡¯s throat with her blade, lightly. Syan, probably more frustrated in herself than with Andy, lowered her sword and her head. She pushed Andy¡¯s sword away with the back of her hand.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Andy said. ¡°You¡¯ll learn. It¡¯s all about technique.¡±


    ¡°Then show me the techniques.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to. You¡¯re not going to learn it all in one day.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s better if you make your mistakes with the captain instead of someone who wants you dead,¡± Pinkey said, helpful twice in one day. ¡°Captain Andy knows all the ways to kill you, but she won¡¯t do it.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± Andy said. ¡°You need to fuck up with me or else you¡¯ll fuck up with someone else.¡±


    Syan pulled her hair behind her shoulders. They would have to find something to tie it back with later. ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s try again.¡±


    They laid their blades against each other. Syan slid her sword down. She twisted her arm. Andy twisted back and took a step to the side. Syan followed her. It was impressive. Syan was strong. She was determined. If Andy could keep that energy in her, Syan would have no problem learning.


    Andy¡¯s shoulder was starting to ache from Syan¡¯s shoving. She stepped further back, trying to relieve the pressure. Eventually, Syan was running her backward, shoving her down the deck. Pinkey followed, skipping and bouncing all the way. He whooped and cheered on Syan.


    Andy¡¯s upper body screamed. It was on fire. She couldn¡¯t compete with Syan¡¯s strength. When she thought she wasn¡¯t going to last much longer, Syan slowed down and stumbled, and fell to the deck floor. Her sword clattered next to her.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Andy asked.


    Syan hung her head again. She grabbed her legs, digging her fingers into her flesh. Her face was twisted in pain. Andy sat down next to her. They should have started slower. She shouldn¡¯t have let Syan get so worked up.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± she repeated.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± Syan said. She took a deep breath. ¡°I just need a minute.¡±


    ¡°I think we¡¯re done for today.¡±


    Andy¡¯s legs also felt weak. Her arms burned like when she was young and first learning to handle a sword. She wanted to be done just as much as she wanted Syan to be done. It was a good start, she told herself. For both her and Syan. She would need to keep up her own training if she ever wanted to rebuild her strength.


    Pinkey looked down on them. His hands were on his hips, and he was laughing.


    ¡°That was a good show,¡± he said. ¡°You almost had her, Sy.¡±


    Andy cringed at the nickname. Pinkey was far too comfortable with Syan. And standing over them, towering over them, it was like he was leering. Andy wanted to crawl away. She felt like she had a year ago, sitting on the deck while the crew surrounded her. A hot gun still in her hand. Eli¡¯s blood splashed on her clothes and face.


    She felt like she was being watched. A dozen eyes were on her.


    ¡°You should ask the captain how to shoot a gun next,¡± Pinkey said. ¡°It¡¯s what she prefers, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Andy looked up. There was a little light in Pinkey¡¯s eyes. She remembered all the men looking down on her the night Eli died, staring at her with wide eyes and then smiles. She couldn¡¯t remember who it was who had grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her up off the deck, declaring her captain. But she remembered that it hurt.


    ¡°Would you?¡± Syan asked, oblivious. Or at least, pretending to be oblivious.


    ¡°No,¡± Andy said. ¡°If you can¡¯t handle a sword, you can¡¯t handle a gun.¡±


    She pushed herself to her feet despite all the aches that shot through all of her joints. She held her hands for Syan and took her weight while she stood, slowly, her legs shaking. Without thinking about the intimacy of it, Andy wrapped her arm around Syan¡¯s waist. She could feel Syan¡¯s muscles twitching under her hand, straining to keep her upright. Andy tried not to think too much about the curve of her hip right below her fingers or the sticky warmth of her sweat clinging to her shirt.


    They walked back to Andy¡¯s cabin and sat on the fainting couch together. Syan wiped her brow. Her hair was damp, and her cheeks were flushed.


    ¡°What did he mean?¡± Syan asked. ¡°He said you prefer a gun.¡±


    ¡°He was referring to something that happened a long time ago.¡±


    ¡°I could tell. That¡¯s why I¡¯m asking.¡±


    Andy wasn¡¯t sure why she was unwilling to tell Syan about Eli¡¯s murder¡ªbeyond not wanting to talk about it at all. It wasn¡¯t that she was embarrassed, but thinking about how Eli behaved that night made her skin crawl. She didn¡¯t even feel all that bad that he had died. Pirates died often. If he had wanted a long life, he wouldn¡¯t have chosen a life where he fought hard and spent long stretches of time on the open sea where land was spotted so rarely that it was hard to remember what it looked like.


    Eli got what he deserved in the end. No one seemed to mourn him. Martin had firmly told Andy she did what she had to do and that she should never feel shame. But there was so much left behind for Andy to think about. What could have happened, how far Eli would go, if it would continue until Andy found a way to escape.


    ¡°If it¡¯s not important, you don¡¯t need to say anything,¡± Syan said.


    Andy could feel Eli¡¯s hands on her shoulders again. He had rubbed her shoulders, commenting on how small they were for a man but how suitable they were for a woman.


    ¡°I.¡± Andy inhaled. She stiffened. ¡°Killed our previous captain. And that¡¯s how I became our current captain.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Did you shoot him?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Syan lowered her voice. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°He¡ª¡± Andy waved her hand. ¡°Pirates kill each other. It¡¯s what we do.¡±


    Syan nodded and stayed silent. Andy was sure she didn¡¯t believe it. But she was sure that Syan understood the unsaid because, regardless of species, domination and power seeped out of people in the same way.


    While the crew had celebrated her promotion, none of them had understood the burden that came with it. And then there was Syan, offering an extension of compassion halfway to her.


    ¡°If I tell you something new about sirens,¡± Syan said, ¡°will you keep it to yourself?¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯d like me to.¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t use it against me?¡±


    ¡°I think we¡¯re past the point of ensuring one another we won¡¯t kill the other.¡±


    Syan must have been telling Andy as a way to sort of meet her halfway, to share the vulnerability.


    ¡°Our singing is important, but there¡¯s nuance to We don¡¯t have unlimited sway over humans. It takes concentration and skill and discipline. And when the moon goes dark every cycle, it¡¯s difficult to have any of those. We weaken and strengthen with the moon.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re useless once a month? Is that what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    ¡°Not useless. Just weaker. It¡¯s like my head is foggy. If I had to defend myself, I probably wouldn¡¯t be able to do much.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d be vulnerable?¡±


    ¡°More so than I am now.¡± Syan looked down at her legs. ¡°We¡¯re due for a dark moon soon, and I¡¯m going to be especially weak this time.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll just have to look after you then.¡±


    Syan looked up with mild surprise playing on her face. She smiled, confused. ¡°You would do that for me?¡±


    ¡°Of course. What else should I do? Lock you up somewhere so no one can find you?¡±


    ¡°No one¡¯s offered to look after me before.¡±


    Andy brushed it off. She felt a touch relieved. Lighter. And she felt closer to Syan. Organically so.


    She didn¡¯t move from her spot next to Syan, and Syan didn¡¯t give any indication that she needed space. Pirates weren¡¯t usually ones to have their stomachs do flips over something so minor. Andy put every pirate captain before her to shame. She could feel them shaking their heads at her. She was supposed to pillage and raid. She wasn¡¯t supposed to know boundaries or respect or stomach flips. But she was starting to think about Syan more and more as a person she wanted to sit next to more often, and she couldn¡¯t help being a bad pirate for it.


    Eli had sat next to her only half a dozen times before he unraveled her secrets. Before he pieced together that under her father¡¯s large jacket and her baggy trousers that she wasn¡¯t a young man and rather a young woman. It only took those six sit-downs before Eli found her alone under the deck and tried to rape her.


    It only took her and Bettridge to sit together once before he confronted her in a small inn bedroom with talk of laws on piracy and how he knew a pirate when he saw one.


    How different Syan was. They could have easily destroyed one another, but there they sat, quiet, and okay.