《Raft》


 Drown

    His fingers couldn''t stop fighting with each other. The clock struck 1, yet he was the only one present in the room. Except for Ben of course, who knew about the importance of punctuality, with eyes buried in his laptop as he typed away on some essay. A quick glance informed Sam nothing about its contents, and a question asked did little to help. He flipped to a page on the notebook comfortably positioned on his jittering legs, and recited a to-do list to himself


    "One, two, three-" He went, counting the days on a self-made calendar from two differently coloured pens, "Fourteen... Scene 5 would take three days... Scene 6... three more... Editing..." His fingers did mental gymnastics, computing result after result, "And then VFX, and final polish, and... submission... three plus three, plus..." He eyed the clock, watching its hand make its slow crawl back to 12, "Equals... fifteen. One off..." Then, he raised his voice. "Where are they? Why are they always late!"


    The classroom, after suffering supposed water damage along the walls and ceilings, found itself pawned off to four ambitious students. It had rows of chairs which wasted space rather than adding to it, and the little podium up front was more disruptive than one could think.


    "They get dismissed later than us. Calm down dude."


    "We''re one day off schedule! And if they keep coming late we won''t submit this film in time!"


    Ben sighed. He had heard these words from him millions of times before, "Sam. We''ll make it, okay?" He made eye contact. "Stop looking at your stupid calendar and just take a deep breath man. It''s as useless as screaming for help when you''re buried underground."


    "What? Stop speaking into metaphors, no one ever gets it."


    "I''m texting Sonia." Ben''s words were empty. Pulling out a second-hand phone, he texted her. The case wrapped around it displayed artwork from a game he had never played before "Where are you? You''re late."


    "I''m on my way." She replied back.


    He switched off his phone and laid back, rubbing against the cushion oddly. He readjusted his position multiple times, unable to get comfortable regardless of how he sat.


    "How was your weekend?" Ben asked, eyes finally pulled away from the screen.


    "Tsk! Same old, same old." He chewed on his pen, spinning gears in his head.


    "Ok. I watched a movie."


    "Mm."


    With ants in his pants, he stretches his arms and legs, then sits back down. The fidgeting came to a gradual stop as an idiotic smile creeps over. He avoids eye contact with no one, and chuckles to himself.


    "Are you thinking about her again?" Ben sounded disappointed.


    "What?" He complained.


    "She''s not your type, and you''re not her type. Trust me."


    "Right, because you know so much about her?"


    "Come on man."


    She entered first, and the world froze. She wore a shirt that ended right above her navel in a small knot, and a skirt that danced along her things. Her hair had a streak of pink at the second third of her fringe, screaming for his attention.


    "Hi." He said.


    "Hi!" Her voice pierced with pure light.


    Soon after, the jagged one entered. Sonia. The skies would turn grey upon sight of her. And her grey jacket camouflages her right in. He paid as much attention to her appearance as she did.


    "You girls are late again!" Sam reprimanded them.


    "We''re dismissed late," Sonia fired. It may have been a genuine explanation but her tone suggested otherwise.


    "Ok!" Ben clapped his hands together, "What''s the plan for today Sam?"


    "Scene 5. Let''s go. If we''re fast, we can finish this scene in two days and make the submission just on time. So chop-chop. Sonia, how much have you edited so far?" He asked.


    "A lot of the footage has the tripod in the frame, so I wasn''t able to edit much of it." All she had was criticisms of his hard work. Would it kill for her to offer a compliment on occasion? Furthermore, she willfully misunderstood his directorial intent.


    "For the last time. It adds atmosphere! And it''s actually the foreshadowing for the plot twist at the end, remember? That the whole thing was a film set all along?"


    "The plot twist isn''t effective. Firstly, it comes out of nowhere and devalues the entire story. Secondly, there is no build-up leading to it except the tripod, and most viewers would think it''s an amateur mistake rather than a detail anyway, And what atmosphere could you possibly create with a tripod leg?"


    "It begins..." Ben uttered to himself.


    "A good atmosphere? I''m the director, okay. Just use the shots with the tripod in the frame. Even if I wanted to change it, I can''t. We''re already one day behind schedule and if we reshoot all those scenes we will never submit it on time." Sam continued.


    "Then maybe film scenes without the tripod in frame to begin with."


    "You- whatever, scene five, let''s go. Honey, go put on the costume."


    "Ok!" Honey smiled. At least one person listened.


    "And can you please rehearse your lines while you put it on?" Sonia added.


    "Why?"


    "You always take five minutes to get into ''the zone'' and you always get your lines wrong. This is the main reason why we''re so behind time."


    "So you''re saying I''m a bad actress?"


    "Don''t listen to her, you''re a great actress."


    "Thanks Sam.", Honey replied.


    Ben mumbled to himself in the corner, disengaged with everything.


    "Ben, go set up equipment."


    "Also..." Sonia continued nonetheless, outlining her critique of everything from his cinematography to lighting and even the story itself. Sam rolled his eyes, deciding that she would shut up faster if he simply gave no reaction. He stood corrected. "And I know you can''t rent the lighting stuff from the school but we can try to use our phone flashlights at the very least, or I don''t know, something? Every other scene is like pitch black."


    Stolen novel; please report.


    "Because it''s a horror."


    "That''s not what horror means! Stop using the genre to excuse amatuer mistakes!"


    "Amatuer? You-"


    "Ryan broke up with me!" Honey screamed all of a sudden. He repressed his instinct to smile. Everyone stopped and looked at her. Pin-drop silence. She watched each of them for a moment before continuing "Yeah, I don''t even know why, it happened so suddenly I''m still trying to process it." Seeing her suffer made him suffer too.


    "Hey, it''s okay, he wasn''t a good guy anyway, you dodged a bullet." His head was filled with confetti and party balloons.


    "Can we put a pin in this?" Sonia raised her voice. "We have a film to shoot."


    "Shut up!" Sam fired back. "Go on, ignore her."


    "We were in the middle of flirting then all of a sudden he ran off and said he wanted to break up."


    "Oh no...", Sam placed a hand on her shoulder, it was shoved away. She rested her head on her knees.


    "He was a bad influence. You two weren''t compatible.."


    ''Hey! Leave her alone!" Sam defended, "You never even had a boyfriend."


    "Cause I''m lesbian?"


    "You never had a girlfriend either!"


    "Both of you shut up!" Ben shouted.


    "Yeah, and I just feel so...", She paused, letting out a small whine. He wanted to extract the pain from her and implant it on himself. He would gladly suffer for her.


    "Finish your sentence.", Ben said, groaning.


    "I don''t know how to express it in words, I''m just..."


    "Finish your sentence! Stop doing that trailing off thing!"


    "What thing?" Sam asked. Why was Ben causing trouble too?


    "You keep stopping mid-sentence so everyone has to sit in your silence for the next minute."


    "Ben! She''s trying to speak! Why are you judging her?" Sam fired back.


    "She isn''t- She just wants us to stare at her in silence and feel bad, like she always does!", Ben continued, his hand motions increased in aggression.


    "What''s the matter with you? Why are you so angry today?"


    "I''m so sad...", Honey cleared her throat.


    "Shh, it''s okay.", Sam continued.


    "Guys, can we please talk about this later? It has been ten minutes already!" Sonia rolled her eyes.


    "Shut up!" Sam warned her.


    Sonia threw her hands up in disappointment.


    "Mm!" Ben huffed. Sam noticed the smoke puffing out of his fists.


    "And I feel so heartbroken...", Honey continued.


    "Didn''t he smoke, or vape?" Sonia said.


    "Back. Off." Sam stood his ground. He balled fists.


    "I''m trying to help!"


    "Well, don''t!"


    The war continued. Blocking the onslaught of attacks the best he could, whilst doing his best to get Sonia to shut up once and for all. Now, his mind thought of the film, and how no one had moved an inch since they arrived, all sitting in a circle fighting and arguing with one another. But defending Honey''s fragile self-esteem held higher priority.


    "Shut up! All of you! Shut up! Just shut-", Ben screamed at the top of his lungs until his face turned bright red. "I am so sick of all of you, and and your stupid fights over nothing every single time we meet! I hate you, I hate every single one of you so much and I hope you all burn to death! I am done with this stupid club! How are you still together? How is this club still together? Why are all of you even in the same room? I am so sick and tired of trying to put out all the little fires because none of you can just shut up for one second! What is wrong with you, seriously? I-I-I-It''s like w-we''re on a raft in the middle of the ocean and all of you are arguing which way to row to shore! I would rather drown!"


    "Huh? Stop speaking in metaphors, no one likes it when you do that.", Sonia raised an eyebrow.


    He packed his bag hastily and stormed off, slamming the door as he left. The door unhinged from his sheer strength and fell flat to the floor, sending a gust of wind in their faces. For the remainder of that session, no one dared utter another word. No filming was done.


    **


    Off he went on his rusting bicycle down the familiar path he had gone on a million times towards Apple-Wood Childcare Center. All the adorable children were out and about on the playground, sliding down and climbing back up whilst another child slid down. The sand-pit suffered the damage of excavations for hidden treasure. The adults stood on the perimeters, vigilantly policing bad behaviour, shouting name after name as their caregivers arrived to pick them up.


    "Joe Windsor! Joe, Windsor! Your brother is here to pick you up!"


    The child ran out to him at top speed, grabbing his leg tightly. "Rawr..." He growled. Sam playfully walked back to his bicycle with the child still hooked onto his leg.


    "I bit you! You now have the virus, and you are a zombie!"


    "Rawr!" Sam responded, placing him on the bicycle. The child had to sit on his lap, and his head only slightly peaked above the handles. With an effortful push from his leg, they cycled their way back home.


    They rode past the streets at lightning speed, and Joe stared ahead with his hands on the handles, pretending to be a top F1 racer. Everytime Sam turned the bike, he would imitate the breaks, imagining himself drifting through the racetrack. Sam played along, imitating the sound of the engine, which attracted a few strange looks from the public.


    When they came close to home, they reverted back to the zombie roars, and ran around the front yard until they cowered to the afternoon sun. In a fit of carelessness, Joe bumped into a shelf, and the vase that perched on top wobbled. In cold sweat, Sam sprinted to rescue the artefact, carefully placing it on the ground. "Joe, be careful! Aunty Flower will kill you if you broke her vase!"


    "Sorry."


    "It costs thousands of dollars you know! And I''m not even talking about the vase, I''m talking about the flowers in it!"


    "Sorry."


    "It''s okay. Go draw, I have work to do."


    The child nodded, taking out his little workbook from his adorable school-bag and setting it on the floor. Sam sat a few inches beside him with his notebook in hand, and the two went into silent concentration.


    Ben''s sudden departure proved to be more disruptive than he could ever imagine, considering he was a part of the cast. He considered a complete rewrite of the film, but the reshooting required made it impossible to execute before the deadline. Sonia would advise him to give up on the project and simply upload it whenever it finished to the school website instead of the competition, but that would result in months of hard work going down the drain. The position of first place promised a prize of a thousand dollars, and he had no intentions of walking away with anything lesser.


    His idol for his filmmaking ventures came from his Uncle overseas. An aspiring film director himself, he enchanted young Sam with the promises of six-figure salaries and international fame in the business of film. And for his birthday, he passed down his exquisite camera to Sam, which remains in use to this very day. It didn''t bother him that the camera was considered irrelevant in today''s time.


    Killing two birds with one stone, he called Honey to come over. One, he could spend time with her alone, which he always looked forward to, and two, he would have a second opinion. She agreed swiftly, and he enlisted Joe''s help to prepare a cup of lemonade for her.


    **


    "What time is it?" Honey finally arrived. The sun had already begun setting, and as rehearsed, Joe ran out with a cup of lemonade. Sam broke into a smile at the sight of her. She mopped a ball of sweat off her head and wiped it on her work uniform, a bright red shirt with a name tag pinned right above her chest. The girl worked part-time at a restaurant as a waitress as a way to cover her living finances, which he found highly respectable.


    "Here you go!" Joe announced, passing her the cup they prepared together.


    "Aw, thank you!" She crouched down and patted his head, taking a sip of the beverage. "Holy- that is good!" True to her name, Honey loved sweet beverages.


    They sat on the couch, and Sam recited his idea of recruitment to her. Putting up flyers all over school for an audition, he wished to find a quick replacement for Ben, keeping the film on track for submission. This served as a last resort to his main plan of persuasion, hoping a calm discussion with Ben would convince him to return. He spent the rest of the day designing the poster, and summoned Honey to print copies of it at the library tomorrow.


    It wasn''t a long time before she dozed off. Slowly but surely, her head eventually tilted down onto his shoulder, and her legs shifted about, drawing attention to the length of her skirt. Sam tried his best to suppress his lust, focusing on finalising the design of the poster, but his eyes simply couldn''t pull away.


    A whiff of lavender could be extracted from her hair, and the boy wondered what shampoo she used. He was pleasantly reminded of the one time he got the rare chance to touch her hair, and it flustered him. Her head moved, letting out a soft grunt as she awoke, and Sam snapped out of it.


    "What time is it?", She asked, mid-yawn.


    "Uh... it''s 6 p.m."


    "And your parents still aren''t home?"


    "Well..." He shrugged his shoulders.


    "I think it''s time to head back... Bye Sam. I''ll print the flyers."


    "Thanks, and I can drive you home... so you can save money on the cab fare... or something, I don''t know..."


    "Aw! Sure! Ok! Let''s go! What''s the passcode on your bike lock?"


    "Your birthday."


    "What?"


    "Nah, I''m kidding, it''s 1234."


    The girl got on the passenger seat, wrapping her arms around him. He could barely keep a straight face, wishing to turn around and hug her back. Joe sat in his usual spot in front, excited to race down the street again.


    "Hey..." Honey asked. "How do you know where I live again?"


    On the final portion of the journey, Sam slowed the bike down, cherishing the moment for as long as he could. He leaned back a little, trying to gain more physical contact with her. Unfortunately, he arrived at his destination five long minutes later, and he bid her farewell.


    He wanted to spend a minute watching her enter her apartment safely, but Joe''s uncivilised yawn begged to differ.

 Rehearse

    They were in class when it happened. He had his hand on her thigh, and she laid on his shoulder, whispering random words into his ear after he expressed interest in ASMR. ¡°Table¡­. Floor¡­ Ms Lee¡­ she looks like her son said the F word this morning and she¡¯s trying to keep it together¡­¡± The teacher turned around, and her expression fit her description scarily well, which caused the two to burst into laughter. ¡°Any tingly feeling yet?¡±


    ¡°A little. I could fall asleep to this.¡±


    ¡°Well I could call you tonight and whisper until you sleep, or something¡­¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t tonight. My cousin is having a birthday party at his place. It would definitely last all night. And if my parents catch me talking to you, they¡¯d kill me.¡±


    ¡°But I get depressed at night!¡± She shook his arm.


    ¡°I know, I know, but not tonight Candy¡­ sorry.¡± He transformed her last name into a cute nickname.


    ¡°You always do this.¡± She crossed her arms and turned away.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Every time I need you, you say you have something going on and blow me off.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean every time? We have been calling until midnight all week! Come on, don¡¯t be unreasonable.¡±


    ¡°Unreasonable?¡± She raised her voice, catching the attention of the teacher. She apologised and kept silent until the teacher resumed her lecture. ¡°So it¡¯s all my fault huh? Fine.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it like that.¡±


    ¡°Oh, how sweet and loyal.¡±


    ¡°I am loyal! I just have something going on, come on! I¡¯ll call you tomorrow night, and the next night, and the next, forever and ever okay? Just not tonight.¡±


    ¡°Yeah well what if tonight I get super depressed? You won¡¯t be there. I¡¯m on my period and periods make me emotional, you know?¡±


    ¡°You get super depressed every night.¡±


    ¡°What is that supposed to mean!¡± She raised her voice again.


    ¡°Oh my god¡­¡± He covered his face with his hands. ¡°We need to talk.¡± He dragged her out of the class. The teacher watched with her mouth agape and arms at her hip. ¡°Where are you two going-¡± She cautioned. ¡°I am briefing the class about the upcoming project! Sit back down!¡± The two paid no attention to her.


    ¡°I can¡¯t do this anymore Candy!¡± He exclaimed. ¡°You- you ask too much of me, I can¡¯t deal with this. We¡¯re breaking up.¡±


    ¡°Wha-¡± Her face dropped. ¡°No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no wait, wait, wait!¡± She grabbed his arm. ¡°Wait. What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Why now all of a-¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about it for a week now. I just don¡¯t know how to tell you.¡±


    ¡°And you tell it to me like this? You dare leave me? Fine, then I guess I¡¯ll just go kill myself tonight then.¡±


    He sighed, stuck in a rock and a hard place. ¡°Come on, don¡¯t talk like that.¡±


    ¡°I mean, the only one person I have in this world has left me, so I guess I have nothing left to live for. I live on the seventh floor, it would be a pretty long drop.¡±


    ¡°Stop it, Honey! We both know you¡¯re not gonna kill yourself.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re confident huh? You wanna try me?¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really breaking up with me? Even after you cheated on me!¡± She shrieked.


    ¡°Keep your voice down, and what are you even talking about? Why would you think I¡¯m cheating on you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, you tell me.¡±


    He scratched his head. ¡°I genuinely have no clue what the hell you¡¯re talking about.¡±


    ¡°I stayed with you even after you cheated on me!¡± She shouted, ¡°But oh once I¡¯m a little too annoying, you just leave huh?¡±


    ¡°A little? I have lost sleep for months on end having to hear you cry every night! A little annoying? God, I wish you were only a little annoying! We¡¯re done!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡± She shouted at him as he left to no avail, and made a quick trip to the toilet to compose herself before returning to class.


    **


    During their five-minute break, Honey told Sonia the tale of her heartbreak, leaving out the detail where she bawled her eyes out in the wee hours. She could hear echoes of Sam¡¯s groaning from outside the toilet as he desperately tried to fix a technical malfunction. And in spite of the stall door blocking her view, she could make out every look of judgement Sonia had on the other side; arms crossed with a mocking smirk.


    ¡°So? Are you done judging me yet?¡± She exclaimed.


    ¡°If you knew I was going to do that, why did you even tell me in the first place?¡±


    ¡°You asked me to tell you.¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­ no I didn¡¯t.¡±


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    ¡°Oh my god, forget it, I don¡¯t even know why I try sometimes.¡± She flushed the toilet.


    ¡°Me neither. Nothing I say will go in anyway.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean!¡± She stepped out, revolted at the sight of her sitting by the sinks with zero care for hygiene. She groaned, having nothing left to say to her stubborn companion. She slammed the tap down and washed her hands hastily.


    ¡°You¡¯re over-acting the character.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Think of her motivation, would she really be crying that much? Wouldn¡¯t she be too tired to cry at that point? She¡¯s a ghost, meaning she would be sad about this for a long long time now.¡±


    ¡°Are you seriously giving me notes right now?¡± Her eyes watered.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be up studying all night.¡±


    ¡°So?¡± She stormed out and they resumed production.


    After they finished shooting, Honey made her way to the library with Sonia to print out the flyers. Sam gave the girls a budget of ten-dollars, which under the library¡¯s discounted prices, equated to around a hundred copies. Sonia couldn¡¯t shut up about how terribly designed the flyers were, stating that the colour palette caused her eyes to bleed.


    Honey listened to none of it, preoccupied with her breakup still. Her ex got called away by a teacher after her shrieks, and everyone eyed her differently ever since. Even her group of friends had cut her out, adding salt to injury. She lost everything.


    ¡°Hello? Are you there?¡± Sonia clapped her hands. ¡°Take half of it.¡± She dropped a stack of flyers onto her hands. They weighed surprisingly much.


    ¡°We can¡¯t just put them up like Sam wanted us to, so we can only give it out to people. I¡¯m gonna take the front gate, you cover the back gate.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± She wished to pass the flyers out with Sonia, finding the task unbearably shameful.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°They were all terrible influences. It¡¯s good you cut ties with them. Stop thinking about it..¡±


    ¡°No they weren¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°Whatever, forget it. And remember to rehearse your lines.¡±


    They moved to the respective gates and began passing the flyers out with little success. Most simply ignored them, dismissing them with a hand or a polite apology. Under the guise of her emotions, each rejection only solidified the losses she incurred as permanent. Everyone glared at her with curled lips, physically avoiding her in hastening pace. She developed telepathy, hearing every evil rumour they believed about her, and all the vile thoughts they had, and by the fifth flyer these thoughts got the best of her, and she ran to Sonia in retreat.


    Sonia had given out almost half of her flyers when she returned. How?  ¡°What are you doing here? Finish the pile, and how have you only given out five?¡±


    ¡°What is that supposed to mean!¡±


    ¡°Go back to the back-gate and give out the rest.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She looked into the distance. A great reluctance washed over her. ¡°Won¡¯t it be better for the both of us to give our flyers here? Barely anyone exits by the back-gate anyway.¡±


    ¡°And where did you get that theory from? Students exit through both gates equally. There¡¯s a bus station by both exits.¡±


    ¡°I know, but¡­ I just¡­ it¡¯s better to just pass it out here with you. Two heads are better than one.¡±


    ¡°Right, which is why I asked you to cover the back-gate.¡±


    ¡°No, I just¡­ I- ugh-'''' She could tell from Sonia¡¯s uncontrollable eye-roll that she was being toyed with.


    ¡°Can you just tell me what you want?¡±


    ¡°You already know what I want! You¡¯re just being annoying again.¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯m waiting for you to be honest and tell me directly what it is you want.¡±


    ¡°But you already know!¡±


    ¡°Is it really that hard to just say it?¡±


    ¡°Ok, fine! I¡¯m feeling lonely and I want to pass the flyers with you! I hate my life, okay? Leave me alone!¡±


    Sonia turned around, passing out another flyer.


    ¡°So is that a yes?¡±


    ¡°Whatever.¡±


    ¡°Is it?¡±


    ¡°Ugh!¡± Honey crossed her arms and turned around too, passing her flyers out in gloom.


    **


    Sonia alighted first, paying her half of the cab fare as she left. Her mother could be seen waving eagerly, and she eagerly waved back. She liked Sonia¡¯s mother, and wondered why her optimism didn¡¯t pass off to her daughter.


    The keys slammed into the lock like a battering ram, only slotting in after the third strike. Honey crashed on the couch with an exhausted sigh. Her back melted into the cushion, dozing off for a quick nap before she rose up again to lock the door and make herself dinner. With minimal furniture, the room had a mirage of space, deluding one into thinking it could house a family.


    One couch, one coffee table, and one tiny kitchen was all she needed to raise herself. Her computer acted as her television, playing all her favourite films from piracy sites with varying levels of quality. Lady Luck might bestow her with stunning-edge resolution and crisp audio, or curse her with blurry cammed footage and audio so soft she couldn¡¯t hear it despite turning the volume to its maximum. The option for subtitles was the jackpot of this lottery.


    House chores were an effective time-killer and a way for her to release pent up anxieties and sorrows during the wee hours. The sight of dust or any form of uncleanliness repulsed her, and she always ensured her eyes would be spared from such disgusting sights. This was the reason why she physically couldn¡¯t enter the dishwasher¡¯s area during work, and would need someone else¡¯s help to retrieve anything within that area.


    All the friendships she built came crashing down in an instant, as if they never mattered. The night grew darker, taunting her with its freezing chills until she reached the point of tears. Following her nightly routine beat for beat, she curled up on the couch and sobbed to herself until she fell asleep, or until something interrupted her; in this case it was buzzing from her phone.


    It took her a good minute for her to rationalise the purpose of answering the phone, wondering who would even call her at this hour, and if she even deserved to speak to them, or if she had anything good to say to them. There was only one way to find out.


    ¡°What do you want!¡± Honey lashed out, seeing the contact ¡®Sonia¡¯ appear on screen.


    ¡°Can¡¯t sleep.¡± Sonia said.


    ¡°Yeah well, same here. What do you want?¡±


    ¡°Nothing. Just calling to see if you¡¯re asleep.¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m not, are you happy?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, you¡¯re never happy with me.¡±


    ¡°Why can¡¯t you rehearse your lines?¡±


    ¡°Really? You¡¯re gonna talk about this now?¡±


    ¡°Do you still have your copy of the script?¡±


    ¡°Yes, obviously! Can you just leave me alone!¡± She shrieked at the top of her lungs.


    ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll play Ben¡¯s part. We start from the top.¡±


    ¡°What? You¡¯re joking, right?¡± Her voice returned to normal, and the tears stopped flowing. Her heart stopped sprinting at lighting speed, and the tension within her nerves began releasing.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not. From the top, okay?¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­ Ok, wait, give me a second.¡± She fished the copy out from her bag and flipped to the first page, where scrawls of notes and highlights distract from the original text. ¡°Ok¡­ I got it.¡±


    ¡°Ok, good.¡±


    They rehearse their lines past midnight, until Honey has completely abandoned her pity-party, and the night finally releases its grip from her. Both of their phones were drained, causing a hassle at school the next day.

 Full Moon

    She hated her life in these moments, feeling a familiar sting. And as if that wasn¡¯t enough, the teacher decided to poke his nose where it didn¡¯t belong. ¡°Sonia, what¡¯s your GPA for this semester.¡±


    ¡°I think you know that.¡± She folded her arms and avoided all eye contact. Her gut dropped ten levels, but she¡¯d do anything to appear otherwise.


    ¡°I want to know what you think your GPA is.¡±


    ¡°And I want to know why you think this talk would work when it failed five times before?¡±


    ¡°Sonia, I¡¯m just trying to help you.¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not working. So stop trying.¡±


    Her teacher sighed and let her go.


    She spent the weekend crafting said apology in her bedroom, rehearsing her words repeatedly and making mental edits of the speech as she went. Paying a visit to the stationery store, she even purchased a gift for him; a set of pencils from his favourite brand. Ben loved to sketch more than anything, always showing his artworks proudly and asking for critiques. She thought he had a long way to go before his sketches entered the rank of ¡®decent¡¯.


    Feeling the rough texture of a page from a sketchbook stirred more memories in her. She made more edits to her apology speech, remembering how he weathered through all her critiques of his sketches in humility. Never did he grow resentful of her comments, or act defensive like everyone else. Only he took her words in the spirit they were intended.


    She delivered it to him in fancy wrapping paper, sparking googly eyes from his nosy classmates. According to him, everyone thought the two were an item, despite the clear absurdity of that idea. He always flustered when she mocked these rumours.


    His eyes glowed, unwrapping the present eagerly, and upon reading the brand name, almost shrieked like Honey. ¡°It¡¯s my favourite brand!¡±


    ¡°Yup. There are¡­brands of pencils¡­¡±


    ¡°You see the dots across the pencil? It gives it a better grip than other pencils.¡± He pointed to the product inside. ¡°Thank you, this is nice.¡±


    She nodded, and all of a sudden her endless rehearsing went down the drain. ¡°I came here to¡­ um-¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going back to the club. I can¡¯t take it anymore.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± There goes her chances. She might as well leave now. ¡°Ok¡­ Well, I¡¯m¡­ sorry.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± He seemed surprised. ¡°Ok, thanks. I¡¯m glad at least one person can admit fault.¡±


    ¡°I- are we still- I don¡¯t know- Anyway, um¡­ yeah. I need to learn how to do the green-screen thing, since I have to do that now, since you¡¯re¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay. Sure.¡± He opened his computer and gave her a migraine from explaining endless terminology in alienating language. Most of it went in an ear and out the next, as she could only focus on remembering all the times they¡¯d edit together after sessions. They would review the footage clip by clip, deleting those they deemed inferior, and then work together seamlessly to edit the remaining footage together.


    Once, she had invited him over to her place to edit the ending of their previous film, hoping to celebrate after they were done. Her mother cooked them both pasta so mouth-watering Ben couldn¡¯t stop talking about it days later. He indulged her mother an hour of endless ranting about her unpublished novel, and then Sonia listened to him talk about sketching in a similar fashion for another hour as a movie played in the background. She learnt so much useless information about pencils and shading and 3D perspective.


    ¡°You got it?¡± Ben asked.


    ¡°Um¡­ yeah. I got it.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ cool. Anything else?¡±


    Her cheeks scalded at the mention of this topic. ¡°Are we still like- friends¡­ or like¡­ something?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Like are we still friends outside the club?¡±


    Ben went silent, speaking volumes of his feelings.


    ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll leave you alone now. Bye¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait, wait, wait, I just don¡¯t know how to say this properly.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I still want to be friends with you, I just don¡¯t know if that¡¯s a good thing or not.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it. And in the meantime, I wish the best for you.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°I hope you get better. And here¡­¡± He fished something out of his bag, and handed her a slip of paper, he flustered again. ¡°I drew a small comic of you¡­ thought it¡¯d be fun. Although¡­ I¡¯m sure you have loads of comments about the face.¡± She stared at a sketch of herself looking back at her. Eyes filled with exaggerated menace, brows burrowed to the point past naturalism. ¡°But I hope you like it anyway¡­ I worked really hard¡­ on it.¡±


    ¡°What am I supposed to do without you?¡±


    ¡°Why are you so dramatic? You still have Honey! God¡­ this is so awkward, someone kill me right now.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, okay, I¡¯ll leave you alone, I¡¯ll stop bothering you, You probably had enough of me¡­ ok, bye.¡± She closed the door behind her, rolling her eyes at the nosy classmates before she headed back to class.


    **


    A girl with clouds in her heels disturbed her at the cab station with a familiar flyer in hand. She introduced herself, hands scrambling to support the weight of a black case in her arms. And she passed Sonia a script, wishing that it would present her talents as a writer effectively, and make her the perfect candidate to recruit. It was clear the girl did not understand how the recruitment process differed from a job interview, but she indulged her anyway, and stored it in her bag.


    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    The two girls worked the job in very different ways. Honey had a bad habit of chatting the customers up, giving herself a coy excuse to slack, and despite the manager¡¯s repeated warnings, did nothing to remedy this behaviour. Regardless of whether the customer reciprocates her friendliness, she would chat nonetheless, sometimes holding them verbally hostage.


    She trended in the opposite direction, being cold and aloof towards customers. She wouldn¡¯t serve their dishes with an inviting smile, and her tone discouraged communication. Few complaints have been given to her because of this, yet as hard as she tries, she can¡¯t bring herself to smile. She had no reason to. One redeeming quality however would be her efficiency, which became her saving grace from termination.


    During her lunch break, she pulled out Ben¡¯s comic to read. His comics were often short, seeing he was a novice, lasting only a few panels across a page, which meant the narrative would only allow for quick punchlines. Honey came over with a cup of ice-cream in her hands and two spoons, sitting next to her.


    ¡°What is that?¡± Honey asked.


    ¡°I visited Ben today, and he gave me this as a goodbye gift or something¡­¡±


    ¡°Aw! Lemme see!¡±


    The comic portrays a girl stomping down the street in anger, who trips on the rock and screams a curse in response, tossing the rock away and hitting someone else in the back. Honey chuckled lightly. ¡°That¡¯s so cute!¡±


    She gave a light exhale, ¡°The eyebrows look stupid.¡±


    ¡°Open sesame.¡± Honey pointed a spoon of ice-cream towards her.


    Sonia burst into laughter. ¡°I can eat it myself.¡± She grinned.


    ¡°Break-ups suck.¡±


    ¡°I know, you¡¯ve said that a million times already.¡±


    ¡°Well ok, losing people sucks. Better?¡±


    On her lap laid the submitted script, and she read that next, keeping the comic safely in her bag. ¡®A Magical Journey¡¯, the title proudly presented.


    ¡°Aw, he drew you a whole manga?¡±


    ¡°What! No. A girl wanted to sign up and she gave me this because she thinks this is like a job interview or something.¡±


    ¡°Written by Erin Sky¡­¡± Honey reads. The two read the script together, which made reading more tolerable for Sonia. And by the end of the fifth page, they were in tears laughing at its horrendous quality. They had to hold onto each other as they laughed so as to not fall off the chair or hit their head on the wall.


    ¡°I¡¯m definitely not letting her in now!¡± Sonia concluded.


    ¡°Wait, but Sam seems pretty desperate for a replacement, I think you should.¡±


    ¡°If anyone has standards, it¡¯s that guy.¡±


    ¡°True¡­ true.¡±


    ¡°There is no way in hell he would allow a writer this bad into his perfect little club.¡± Honey seemed unconvinced.


    **


    Her mother blinded her like the sun, greeting her with undeserved optimism. ¡°How¡¯s work little genius?¡± She affectionately called her that, despite the title being far from the truth. Her mother stayed at home everyday, working on a novel that would never be finished. Every time she heard her mention it, the whole project only sounded more and more ridiculous.


    Her phone chimed, a message from Ben. ¡°I don¡¯t think we should be friends anymore.¡± It reads. She froze for a few seconds, before shutting her phone off and looking back at her mother.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s filming coming along?¡±


    ¡°Good.¡±


    ¡°You guys can handle well without Ben around?¡± Seeing that her mother could read her like a book, she kept little secrets from her.


    ¡°Mhm.¡± She looked away.


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Did something happen between you and Ben?¡±


    ¡°Nothing, okay. He just¡­ reached his limit with me. It¡¯s my fault and- whatever, I don¡¯t wanna talk about it, I¡¯m tired.¡±


    ¡°Ok. Just remember you¡¯ll always have me.¡± She smooched her on the forehead. ¡°And Honey.¡± She smooched her again. ¡°Goodnight little genius.¡±


    ¡°Night¡­¡±


    She locked herself in her room and took a shower, washing herself in more ways than one. Her mother would stay up late binging television shows of her era, and Sonia would stay up staring at the ceiling as she wondered why she was the way she was. Insomnia ran rampant in the family.


    The nights would be filled with echoes of her voice berating herself for every mistake she has made, is making, or will make. Pencils scribbled over paper, creating an illusion of noise or mess despite the serenity of night. The sight of herself in the mirror made her repulsive, and an urge to peel her identity away from herself would possess her hands. She wanted to be a mannequin, a being with neither face nor person, a fate better than being herself, she knew.


    As she tossed and turned around her bed, trapping her legs in her blanket, she thought of her insomniac friend, and how she would also be turning and tossing at this hour of night. Or more truer to her character, would be sobbing to herself in a little ball on her couch. She decided to give her a call, hoping to have company.


    ¡°Hi.¡± She began, resisting the urge to shed tears.


    ¡°Hi¡­¡± A broken voice returned.


    ¡°The breakup still hurts?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m lonely¡­¡± She cried out. ¡°I¡¯m so alone¡­ I have no one¡­ it¡¯s just me in this stupid apartment in this stupid bedroom¡­¡±


    ¡°You wanna rehearse some lines?¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t wanna rehearse my lines, what¡¯s wrong with you!¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°I hate my room so much, there¡¯s dust everywhere no matter how hard I clean it!¡±


    ¡°I could come over and help you spring clean.¡±


    ¡°No offence, you suck at hygiene. I mean, you literally sit beside the sink in the girl¡¯s toilet with like¡­ no hesitation. It¡¯s disgusting.¡±


    ¡°Why are you so afraid of dust anyway? Dust exists everywhere.¡±


    ¡°Well unlike you, I like my room clean and my clothes neatly folded.¡± Sonia looked to the pile of clothes in the corner.


    Sonia blanked on what to say next. She had to take care of Honey¡¯s endless self-pity, but hit a dead end on her consoling. ¡°Full moon today.¡±


    ¡°What? Really?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I¡¯m guessing. Wanna watch a movie together?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ what movie, and don¡¯t say-¡±


    ¡°Charlie Chaplin.¡± They both said together.


    ¡°Damn it, again? I want to watch a movie with people talking. Is it too much to ask for?¡±


    ¡°Your taste in movies is horrible!¡±


    ¡°Says the one watching movies in black-and-white.¡±


    ¡°Those are classics! They are the best.¡±


    ¡°Ugh. Fine! But if I doze off halfway, you know why.¡±

 Cute Girl

    She watched her old circle from across the canteen, laughing and chatting with one another, as if they never cared about her to begin with. She used to sit in the middle of them, laughing about anything from their incompetent teacher to off-colour comments about each other in camaraderie. Now she sat alone, only with a bowl of bland-tasting noodles to accompany her.


    And then someone interrupted her mid-sob. She looked up to see Sam across her with a buzzer in hand, displaying his signature ¡®worried-father¡¯ look. Warmth radiated from the corners of his face, and this time she decided not to fight off the invasive hand on her shoulder.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Why are you crying?¡±


    ¡°Nothing! It¡¯s just, all my friends took my stupid ex¡¯s side and I¡¯m just¡­ alone here with my stupid noodles¡­ and-¡± She paused. In all honesty, her tone made her sound much more miserable than she truly was. She would only whine in this manner to herself in bed.


    ¡°Oh, forget them! This just shows they never really appreciated you anyway. Their loss!¡± For some reason, his words were always so potent in boosting her self-esteem.


    She smiled, wiping another tear away. ¡°Thanks Sam.¡±


    ¡°Anytime. And hey, we can eat lunch together if it helps?¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­ sure.¡±


    If only Sam could take classes with her too, she thought, secluding herself to the back row with the other social rejects of the class. One cocooned herself in a hoodie, and another had his phone poorly hidden underneath his bag. Is this her status now?


    To add salt to injury, the class received a huge assignment today. For the past few weeks the teacher had been teeing up an upcoming project for their final examination, nagging them to form teams before the official release of said project. She was already paired up, but unfortunate events now left her groupless. Even the social rejects managed to weasel their way into the other groups as third wheels, leaving her to fail alone.


    The teacher made extra care to stress everyone out by outlining its importance. ¡°And if you don¡¯t want to retake this module next year and graduate, you will take this project seriously! Understand, Honey?¡± Being the teacher¡¯s punching bag didn¡¯t do much to help.


    She racked her head for solutions, wondering how she could complete a group project solo, creating an entire short film on her own when her club couldn¡¯t even do so for months. Would she need to resort to cheating, piggybacking off the other team¡¯s works? Or did this spell the end, and all she could do is wait until this module appeared in her schedule again six months later? The pity-party resumed as she thought back to her lonely lunch, and then she found a nifty solution to the problem.


    **


    Following Sonia¡¯s advice to rehearse lines, the acting process eased up. She continued taking her notes on her methodology, and as she slowly changed her performance, she found the lines delivered to be more naturalistic. For once, she felt like a good actress who genuinely acted. Still, the arguments between Sam and Sonia slowed things down, this time arguing over Sonia¡¯s rejection towards the girl with the terrible script. She had seen this coming from a mile away.


    After a few gruesome hours of filming, she made her move. Standing next to Sam as he packed up, she flashed her best smile and requested to pick his brother up with him. He agreed almost instantly, face brimming with hope and lust. It warmed and chilled her heart to know how much he liked her. She could see Sonia watching from the shadows, but couldn¡¯t care less of what she thought.


    Sonia held her back for a second, giving comments no one asked for, ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    ¡°To pick up Joe with him, why?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t do anything dumb.¡±


    ¡°Oh wow, so I¡¯m dumb? Thanks.¡±


    ¡°Promise me.¡±


    ¡°Why? I don¡¯t owe anything to you.¡±


    Sonia stared deep into her eyes, which shook her to her core. Message received. ¡°Ok¡­ I- ok.¡±


    ¡°There are people doing much worse off than you. Don¡¯t flatter yourself.¡±


    ¡°Ugh.¡± She ignored Sonia and left.


    ¡°Yay!¡± She clapped her hands together in celebration, now acting as annoyingly adorable as possible. Hooking Sam in with her siren song, she rode off with him to pick his brother up. The trip there made him fluster, causing him to ride more carelessly than usual. She would press her body against his, blending her warmth with his, hitting him in his weak spots.


    The child greeted her with slight unease, and they rode back to Sam¡¯s place. She thanked him with a wink as he entered, and watched television with him on the couch. A terrible romantic comedy from the last century played over a deafening laugh track. She wanted to mock him for his entertainment preferences.


    ¡°I don¡¯t watch this by the way.¡± Sam defended weakly. ¡°Our TV subscription comes from our cousin¡¯s, and whichever channels we get is up to them. This is what we got.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Ok.¡± She stared deep into his eyes. ¡°I kind of like this show, the guy always gets the girl in the end, it¡¯s cute and wholesome.¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­ yeah. I -ahem. Yeah. I like this show too, it¡¯s ahem- really good.¡±


    She shifted her legs about, and saw his gaze divert almost immediately. Both warmth and chills went down her spine. Her gut dropped one level, and she pulled her skirt down. His gaze returned to her eyes. ¡°I wish I had a boyfriend¡­ that won¡¯t cheat on me after a few months, you know?¡±


    ¡°Mhm. Same. I mean, as in, I wish I had a girlfriend that wouldn¡¯t- I¡¯m not gay. And I wouldn¡¯t um- cheat on my girlfriend, future girlfriend, if I had one¡­ you know.¡±


    ¡°Aw! So you¡¯re the loyal type huh?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s kinda my type.¡±


    He made a weird laugh, and excused himself to the bathroom. She pondered a little, and decided to wait a while longer before making the request. She sat on the floor, joining the kid as he played with a depressingly small train set.


    ¡°Rawr¡­¡± He went, completely ignoring her presence.


    ¡°What are you playing?¡±


    ¡°Grr¡­ Ah! Swoosh!¡± He sent the train flying through the air and back down. She pointed a finger gun at him and fired a round.


    ¡°Ah!¡± He played along, feigning death. ¡°You shot me. Now I died. And now I¡¯m the zombie. Your turn!¡± He now shot her, and she feigned death too. He giggled.


    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    ¡°Why are you at my house again?¡±


    ¡°Your brother invited me here!¡±


    ¡°Will he cycle to your house again at night?¡±


    ¡°Probably.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± He crossed his arms. ¡°I don¡¯t want to. I get very tired and your house is very far away.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Well, I can go home on my own Joe, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Sam returned, and the flirting continued until evening came. With Sam¡¯s endless praises and compliments, her confidence sky-rocketed, and she felt more ready than ever to make her request. She dragged him into the first room she found, sending all the messages the boy wanted her to send. ¡°Sam¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh huh? What are we- what are we um-¡±


    ¡®I have this school project where I need to shoot a short film and it¡¯s really hard because I have no one to team up with, could you help me?¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Visible disappointment ensued. ¡°Uh¡­ I mean, would your teacher allow that?¡±


    ¡°Probably not, but she doesn¡¯t have to know, and she won¡¯t. She¡¯s pretty new here, I doubt she knows the school even has a film club.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ uh, but if you get caught, you could get expelled! And me too potentially, and I can¡¯t get expelled, I need to get my diploma, otherwise how else will I find work and succeed in the future?¡±


    ¡°Sam, but it¡¯s really hard!¡± She turned her voice up to eleven. ¡°We¡¯re supposed to film a five minute short film.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°Exactly! I don¡¯t know what to do! And if I fail this project my GPA will drop even lower, and I-¡± She laid down, covering her face.


    ¡°Hey, hey, hey, it¡¯s ok. It¡¯s ok.¡± He got handsier each time she expressed distress. She sat back up, swatting his hand away. Where the hell did his hand wanna touch this time? ¡°I can give you ideas and stuff but I can¡¯t help with like the actual filming or whatever.¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡± She squealed. ¡°Thank you so much! But I don¡¯t know how to use the camera or whatever.¡± She frowned dramatically.


    ¡°How? Don¡¯t they teach you that in class?¡±


    ¡°Sam! Please help me with the whole thing, please-please-please-please-please-please!¡±


    ¡°I just- it¡¯s cheating!¡±


    She huffed in anger, mind already calculating her second strike. After an evening of television with him, she secretly hailed a cab home as he excused himself to the toilet. She did not want him to cycle to her place again.


    **


    During shifts, she would be texting him non-stop, ignoring the calls from customers or the warnings from her manager. Carefully however, she would hide her phone whenever Sonia came by to prevent confiscation, and then continued after she left, laying the groundwork for her second attempt.


    On the weekends, they would call for several hours, leaving the phone on speaker as they went about their day. He would talk to her about boring technical details of his camera, and she would chime a sound of awe every few seconds in response, which seemed to fulfil him more than enough. Anytime he began feeling down or expressing some doubts about his work, she simply had to mother him with words of encouragement and appealed to his masculinity to cheer him up.


    Today, she told the story of her failures in finding a classmate to do her project with. The teacher apologised for her struggles, then chided her for not finding a group earlier despite her numerous warnings, before finally deciding to simply give her an extension on her deadline, and to pe. Sam replied with his condolences, and then her phone disappeared from her hands.


    ¡°The manager is calling for you.¡± Sonia thundered.


    She kept her head down as she went to him, receiving a more stern warning now. And then Sonia decided that it wasn¡¯t enough, giving her another scolding, now about Sam instead of her work ethic.


    ¡°You two are dating now?¡± She began, holding her phone up which displayed cringe-inducing flirts.


    ¡°Tsk. If you¡¯re just gonna judge me, can you not? This doesn¡¯t concern you.¡±


    ¡°Yeah it does! It concerns you so it concerns me!¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Mom! Give me my phone back.¡±


    Sonia kept it in her back-pocket. ¡°Break up with him.¡±


    ¡°No! He would hate me.¡±


    ¡°So what? You actually like him now?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ I mean, I don¡¯t know, he¡¯s nice to me okay? Unlike someone.¡±


    ¡°Look, I know breakups are hard, but don¡¯t do something stupid just because you feel a little lonely?¡±


    ¡°Wow, a little lonely? That¡¯s the understatement of the century.¡±


    ¡°You promised you won¡¯t do anything stupid!¡±


    ¡°And this isn¡¯t stupid! I know what I¡¯m doing.¡±


    ¡°Do you?¡±


    ¡°Give me my-¡± The two engaged in a cat-fight over her phone, throwing hands at each other in a mess. Sonia pulled her punches, hesitant to subdue her during work, and let her win. ¡°I know what I¡¯m doing. Ok? I do! And you¡¯re wrong about Sam, he¡¯s not insane or whatever you say, he¡¯s just nice okay? Plus, it¡¯s not like he can beat me in a fight anyway.¡±


    ¡°What? You got a black belt?¡± Sonia jabbed.


    ¡°No, but- whatever!¡±


    A blast of cold air wafted from behind, and ominous eyes radiated from its source. The manager sent the message with zero words needed, and the two frantically returned to their duties in shame. After their shift, the two would receive a reprimand, and had to clean up the whole restaurant by themselves as punishment. .


    **


    On her second visit to his house, she invited him into his parent¡¯s bedroom with a few winks, and played the final card in reluctance. She knew this might result in collateral damage, but all other options had been exhausted by that point.


    ¡°Sam¡­ Do you like me?¡±


    ¡°Wh-huh?¡±


    ¡°You know¡­ do you have a crush on me?¡±


    ¡°Why are you asking this?¡±


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t know¡­ you¡¯re always so nice to me¡­ and you keep looking at me all the time.¡± It¡¯s creepy, she thought. ¡°It¡¯s kind of obvious¡­ and sweet.¡±


    ¡°I- well- I- uh- ah- a little?¡±


    ¡°A little! Only a little?¡± She feigned frustration. She knew the crush was beyond simple butterflies in his stomach whenever she walked by, but she had no clue on its intensity.


    ¡°Ok, ok, a lot. A lot. I can¡¯t stop thinking about you.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t?¡± More chills. She now regretted playing the card, but she couldn¡¯t possibly take it back. This project dangled expulsion over her head tauntfully.


    ¡°I like you. Yeah, I¡¯ll admit it. I really like you.¡±


    ¡°Aw! Sam! That¡¯s so sweet!¡± She grew more concerned than ever. This would be the first time a romantic attraction from a boy startled rather than flattered. Or maybe it was both? ¡°Well¡­ I mean, I don¡¯t know. That¡¯s what Ryan said when we first started dating¡­ and then he-¡±


    ¡°Well he was lying. I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°But how do I know that for sure though?¡± She drew circles in the mattress, only now noticing its floral patterns.


    ¡°I mean, you said you noticed me staring¡­ Isn¡¯t that obvious? And all the nice things I¡¯ve done for you all year?¡±


    ¡°Yeah well, not so nice¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t help me on this project¡­¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s cheating, I don¡¯t want you to get expelled.¡±


    ¡°But if we were sneaky about it, no one would know!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    She sighed. ¡°Forget it. I just thought you would be different from all the other guys¡­. But- forget it, my fault for being stupid.¡±


    ¡°Wait, wait, wait. Ok, ok, fine.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Bait taken.


    ¡°I can help you¡­ a bit more¡­ but I still won¡¯t like¡­ film for you, I¡¯ll just like tell you what to do¡­ that technically won¡¯t be cheating.¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°Ok I guess, better than nothing.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ sorry.¡±


    ¡°Thanks Sam!¡± She squealed. ¡°I love you!¡±


    Sam froze, no longer present in the living realm.

 Tomorrow

    He couldn¡¯t keep his mind off her regardless of what he did. Every second of the day, he wished to hear her voice and report every single thing to her, awaiting her adorable reactions. He would report on how Joe played with his toys, and she would say, ¡°Aw!¡± with music in her voice. He would lie on the couch during the afternoon with his phone right by his ear and rant endlessly about the history of his family, giving her a crash course on all the cousins that lived overseas.


    ¡°Ok, so this might sound weird, but all my cousins are named after like¡­ nature stuff. I don¡¯t know why, but my father¡¯s side is just filled with nature names. Even my Dad, his name is Ash so you know, you get it.¡±


    ¡°Mhm!¡± The dream girl replied. A voice echoed suspicion.


    ¡°So my father¡¯s side, crazy, his sister, well I call her Aunty Flower, her name is Florence, see there it is again, Florence, flower¡­ anyway- off topic- she has four kids! Four!¡±


    ¡°Wow, crazy.¡±


    As the two spoke, Sam began typing an email to one of the four cousins, the only one he bonded closely with. The two kept in contact with the occasional email, celebrating any achievements in their lives and grieving over any losses. His cousin shared several photos of his brand new top-of-the-line PC, fully custom built by his own hands, and he teasingly asked Sam if Sam even knew what a custom-built PC was.


    Sam in turn then shared about his romantic success with Honey, teasing back to ask if the cousin knew what a girlfriend was. The cousin replied yes, showing photos of him and his girlfriend on a dinner date, advising him to do the same.


    ¡°Once you go on a date with the girl, you know she¡¯s legit.¡± He responded.


    He emailed his cousin until the boy¡¯s curfew had been reached, and then resumed talking to Honey until his eyes collapsed under its own weight. Carelessly forgetting to set his alarm, Joe had to wake him up by doing a cannonball dive on his stomach. The feeling of his intestines dislocating jolted him out of his wedding day with her.


    He tried announcing the good news in the morning as soon as everyone gathered at the breakfast table, starting with the half-awoke Joe, who paid no attention to him.


    ¡°Joe! I¡¯m dating Honey now! She likes me too!¡± He smiled. Joe didn¡¯t respond, eating a slice of toast with a deadpan expression.


    He turned to his mother, also eating toast but with strawberry jam. ¡°Mom, I-¡±


    ¡°Joe, put some strawberry jam on your toast, isn¡¯t it dry to eat it plain? Sam, help him.¡±


    ¡°No, mom, he likes it plain.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°Anyway, Mom, I¡¯m-¡±


    ¡°Whose bike you wanna ride on today Joe? Mine or Dad¡¯s?¡±


    Joe pointed to her.


    He gave up, turning to the remaining person on the table, body obscured by newspaper. He already finished the toast, now slowly sipping coffee as he waited for everyone else.


    ¡°Dad.¡±


    The man did not respond, murmuring something business-y to himself.


    ¡°Dad!¡±


    The wall lifted. ¡°Yes Sam?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m dating Honey now!¡± He clapped his hands.


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°The girl I like¡­ from my club¡­ you know¡­ the pink hair, and the skirt¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, oh, that girl. The pretty one. What about her?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re dating now.¡±


    ¡°Wow! Congratulations.¡±


    Finally, someone heard of his achievement, or so he thought. ¡°I was wondering¡­ could I have some extra pocket money¡­ so I can like¡­ have a date?¡±


    ¡°A date?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m gonna ask her out for dinner today.¡±


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°Honey.¡±


    The man raised an eyebrow, and Sam sighed. ¡°Forget it.¡± He said, finishing the last bite of his toast. He went to collect Joe¡¯s school shoes, and helped tie the laces together.


    After club sessions, the girl would hop on the passenger seat and embrace him, and the two rode off to pick up Joe. Then, she stayed in his house to work on her project. So far, they were still working on the script, struggling with a narrative inconsistency. Mid-discussion, Sam floated the idea of the aforementioned dinner date.


    ¡°So¡­ my dad gave me some extra pocket money today¡­¡± He didn¡¯t. ¡°And I¡¯m just wondering, you know the western restaurant near your place? Right beside the bowling alley? What was it called again? Something-fish bar? Anyway¡­ um- you wanna go there to eat¡­ I mean I heard the pasta is like super good, but like- you know¡­up to you and stuff.¡±


    ¡°Aw! That¡¯s great Sam! So, what if¡­¡± She raised her leg a little, stretching it out on top of his. ¡°The character runs from her room¡­¡± She pointed to her left, ¡°Out to the front-yard, and then continued down the street. That way, later when we film that final scene at my place it makes sense, since she could be running towards there, you know?¡±


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°I mean yeah, that works. We could like buy the sharing platter for two, and then just share it¡­ or like separate dishes is better, you think? You wanna have the dinner today? Or¡­¡±


    ¡°How about tomorrow night instead?¡± She smiled from ear to ear.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, okay, that works. You wanna lie down? You look a little tired.¡±


    ¡°Aw! How¡¯d you know?¡±


    After her cab arrived, he got to work planning his first date. He spent an hour searching for online resources, eyes glued to the screen like a laser pointer. This has to be perfect. Joe sat beside him, trying his best to help. ¡°Joe, do you like Honey?¡±


    ¡°No, you like Honey!¡±


    ¡°No, I mean as in, do you like it when she comes to our house? Do you like spending time with her?¡±


    He nodded. ¡°She played zombies with me!¡±


    His heart melted at the sight of Honey playing with Joe. Could she get any more perfect for him? He needed to give her something she wanted or needed in her life. His notebook laid on his lap, with pen in mouth as his gears turned. Perhaps he could buy her a dress, but that was outside of his budget. He could enlist his cousin for funding, but that would take a week to arrive which seemed too long for him; he asked anyway, just in case. His cousin held no reservations sending him a hundred dollars upon request, as if to spare some change to the beggar down the street or to tip the waiter a few cents more for excellent customer service; but he still felt bad asking for it every time. With much on his mind, he began jotting his ideas down on a fresh page, and wrote ¡®Honey¡¯ in big bold letters as the title.


    **


    Tomorrow night was a no-go apparently, seeing that the girl had a shift, and after an arduous rush hour, she sounded too exhausted for dinner. A familiar disappointment overcame him tomorrow, and the voice at the back of his head returned.


    They finally received a fourth member after Sam berated Sonia for turning her down initially, which helped speed up production by a miracle¡¯s worth. He made some more changes to the script, compromising on the narrative in spite of Sonia¡¯s complaints, and revised the schedule on his notebook. And for the first time ever, it was in the realm of possibility that they could submit the film on time.


    As he packed up his camera, he saw Honey leave prematurely under Sonia¡¯s command, and before he could confront her, she towered over him with arms crossed. What now? His heart began racing as he turned to face the beast. Did his streak of luck end? There were only 3 days left before submission, and all that remained was post-production work and the possibility of reshooting. The stars were aligned for success, and Sonia was gonna derail all of it.


    ¡°What?¡± He raised his guard up, preparing himself for a showdown.


    ¡°You two are dating now?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, and?¡±


    ¡°Break up with her.¡±


    He rolled his eyes, ignoring her.


    ¡°I¡¯m not gonna say it again, break up with her.¡±


    ¡°What is wrong with you? Like- seriously? All you do is tear people down and ruin things. Like¡­ what is all this supposed to accomplish? Do you just love watching the world burn?¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t about me!¡±


    ¡°Ugh.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not letting you hurt her.¡±


    ¡°And what makes you think I¡¯ll hurt her?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know anything about her.¡±


    ¡°Says the one who can¡¯t appreciate her acting. Oh my god, you know what? I honestly can¡¯t take your-¡± He motioned to her body. ¡°I honestly can¡¯t take you anymore!¡± He exclaimed. ¡°If you still want to stay in this club after we submit ¡®Singing Doll¡¯-¡± He raised his voice. ¡°Then shut up! Or learn to say something nice, or even neutral. Can you do that? Say a sentence, no, a word, that isn¡¯t just-¡± He scoffed, finding no patience to finish his sentence.


    ¡°You mess with her, you mess with me.¡±


    ¡°I regret ever meeting you. I just- you know what¡­ no. Enough. You¡¯re out of the club, right here, right now, you¡¯re done. Don¡¯t bother coming here tomorrow.¡±


    For the first time, the girl seemed rattled. ¡°Seriously? You¡¯re gonna fire your only editor because you¡¯re being petty?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll simply teach Erin how to edit and replace you. You did most of the work already anyway.¡± Sam now towered over her, flipping the tables in one move. ¡°I don¡¯t want anyone dragging me down, and I sure as hell don¡¯t want any freeloaders snatching up a fourth of my prize money!¡±


    **


    He left without saying another word, trying his best to erase the encounter off his mind as he cycled to pick Joe up. Honey agreed to come over after a quick phone call, and the two resumed filming her project in his house.


    The two shared a romantic moment where they watched footage on playback with their faces in close vicinity. His chest began wrestling to escape his body. He brought up the dinner date again, feeling uneasy without the seal of legitimacy his cousin spoke of.


    ¡°Hey, so, you wanna have that dinner date tonight? You don¡¯t have a shift.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°Like, the both of us, having dinner together, by the restaurant near your place.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Sorry, I can¡¯t. Maybe tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Why not? You don¡¯t have a shift today.¡±


    ¡°I know, but by the time we finish planning, I¡¯ll be completely wiped out.¡±


    ¡°Then we can take a break for today. It¡¯s unhealthy for you to eat dinner so late everyday anyway.¡±


    ¡°But I really have to get this project done Sam. I mean, there¡¯s still post-production, and the teacher said something about having to add transition effects and I have no clue what that is¡­ I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll be able to submit on time if we take our own sweet time, and if I don¡¯t submit it then I¡¯ll-¡±


    ¡°Ok-ok-ok¡­ you¡¯re spiralling again. Just¡­ take a deep breath.¡± The two took a deep breath together. ¡°I¡¯ll go get you a cup of water, okay? Don¡¯t worry about it, everything will be fine. Here¡­ look-¡± He pulled out his notebook, ¡°Based on your submission time, we have months to work on this, and with the script we have, we can complete it all well within a month, which leaves ample time for any changes and reshoots, and definitely time for you to take it easy¡­ and have dinner with me tonight.¡± He laid the book on the floor, hoping this would convince her.


    ¡°Aw, thanks Sam!¡±


    He nodded and left to the kitchen, and as the water sloshed about in the cup, Sonia¡¯s words echoed in the back of his mind, and he wondered how else can he prove himself to her. The cup overflows with water, waking him up from his daydreams of their dinner date.


    ¡°So?¡± He returned. ¡°Can we have dinner sometime this week? You have all the time in the world to finish this project.¡±


    Honey paused for a moment. ¡°Ok¡­ you sure we can finish in time? I still have to do it on my own to make sure you aren¡¯t cheating.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Definitely!¡±


    ¡°Ok, fine, then we can do it on¡­¡± She counted numbers in her head. ¡°Friday!¡±


    ¡°Perfect!¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡±

 Cheating

    Caught in dust, the wheels on the luggage bag could barely turn, and she had to tug twice as hard to cover the same distance. The bag came to a halt a few steps before the front door, and she sat defeated on the alleyway. A ferocious dog barked in the distance. Sam came strolling after with one bag tugged in his hand, and pulled the other bag with his other. She could see sweat drowning his forehead.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this, you can go. It¡¯s late now anyway.¡± Honey dared not look him in the eye, embarrassed by her incompetence.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. My parents come home late anyway, they won¡¯t even know.¡±


    She stepped foot into her new flat, and saw nothing but a counter and a couch. The cupboards and drawers were wide open with nothing stored inside. A wave of depression cripples her.


    ¡°Hey, hey, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve lived in apartments like this before, I know exactly how it¡¯s like. How much do you have on you?¡±


    ¡°A lot¡­¡± Her cheeks scalded. The credit card wasn¡¯t even her¡¯s, and it would be a matter of time before it got declined by its owner. ¡°I think it¡¯d take like a few days before they decline it.¡±


    ¡°Do you think they¡¯d do that?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know! They don¡¯t even know I stole it from them.¡± She sat on the couch and sobbed to herself.


    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s okay. Tomorrow is Saturday, I¡¯ll come over and we can go buy all the essential stuff okay? This apartment will become your apartment. Your¡¯s. You get to design or decorate or re-arrange whatever and whenever you want, because you bought it with your- well- with money.¡±


    ¡°What do I even buy?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a list, but for starters, buy hygiene stuff first. It¡¯s insane how fast things get disgusting around here. Buy all your¡­ shampoo and whatever¡­ other stuff that you need for your hair, toothbrush, toothpaste- write it down, there¡¯s a lot to do.¡±


    She sighed again, her head weighing of bricks being tossed around at high velocities.


    ¡°I¡¯ll help you, okay?¡± He said again. The sun hits his shoulder at the right angle, and for a moment he appears divine. ¡°I¡¯m here for you. Sonia too.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Really. This isn¡¯t the end of the world Honey, you can still turn this around and succeed in life. You just gotta keep going, and never give up, okay?¡±


    ¡°How do you know for sure?¡±


    ¡°Because hard work pays off. That¡¯s just how it works. Trust me¡­ it¡¯ll get better.¡±


    Her heart melted into a puddle and oozed out of her mouth. ¡°Ok¡­¡± She felt herself physically powering up and transforming like some cartoon character accessing his true potential.


    **


    She stands outside the restaurant, peeking through the backdoor to see a sliver of him waiting. Her phone buzzes, which caused her to jump. Her phone almost fell into the sewer. ¡°Are you here yet? Where¡¯s your cab at right now?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ soon. Five more minutes!¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ take your time.¡±


    She hung up, clutching her chest. What is she doing? She had no idea where to proceed from here. Did she want a genuine relationship with him? Why did she advance to the next step if she didn¡¯t then? She gave Sonia a call, desperate for any form of advice or guidance.


    ¡°What.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m outside the restaurant, what do I do now?¡±


    ¡°What do you even want to do?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡±


    ¡°Do you want to date him? Or not?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± She screeched higher. ¡°I¡¯m just- I- I don¡¯t know!¡±


    ¡°Then what can I possibly advise you on?¡±


    ¡°What do you think I should do?¡±


    ¡°Break it off with him, he¡¯s disgusting, you¡¯re disgusting. This whole thing is disgusting.¡±


    ¡°No! I still need someone to do my school project.¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, fine, if you break up with him, I¡¯ll do the stupid project with you.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Whatever. If I hear his name one more time I¡¯m gonna cut off my ears. Bye.¡± She hung up.


    She cursed at her unhelpful friend, and took a deep breath. ¡°Screw it!¡± She decided she was simply going to improvise and trust her gut.


    **


    There was already a plate of food on her side of the table, and beside her sat Joe who had pasta sauce all over his face. Sam quickly asked him to clean up, embarrassed with his antics.


    ¡°Sorry, I can¡¯t just leave him at home.¡± He apologised.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Hi Joe!¡±


    Joe pointed a finger gun at her.


    ¡°Rawr!¡± She played back, inspecting the dish before her.


    ¡°I hope you like it.¡±


    She ordered this exact dish everytime she came here, which begged the question of how Sam came to know about it. She took a bite and pretended to be amazed by the food. ¡°Oh my god, this tastes so good! Thanks Sam.¡±


    ¡°Welcome. I knew you¡¯d like it.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    ¡°You like sweet-tasting food. This is the sweetest dessert served here.¡±


    Even she herself didn¡¯t notice her sweet tooth until now, ¡°Doesn¡¯t this cost a lot?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s worth it.¡±


    She almost spat cake in his face upon hearing it. Unsure of how she felt about it, and how to react, she gave a half-hearted ¡®Thank you.¡¯


    ¡°I¡¯m glad we finally get to do this¡­¡± Sam rambled without a point in mind. ¡°How are you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ how are you?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Honey raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°Like¡­ how¡¯s the neighbours? Are they still blasting annoying music?¡±


    ¡°No, I talked them down.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good. You need to sleep better.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t sleep.¡±


    ¡°Why? What¡¯s keeping you up at night?¡±


    All the eyes were on her, and she swallowed a huge ball of air.


    ¡°Nothing¡­ I just can¡¯t sleep.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s going on Honey? I feel like we don¡¯t talk anymore.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m talking to Sonia.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, why? She only knows how to judge you. Ignore her. What¡¯s going on?¡±


    Cold sweat broke out, and her body repelled the question, shrivelling into a husk. ¡°She¡¯s not that bad, you know? Things are hard for her too.¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean she has to make everything hard for everyone else along the way.¡±


    ¡°Sam, how am I supposed to film and edit the film by myself?¡± She quickly changed the topic.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to use the camera or edit stuff.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯re the one in the film course¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, the teacher explained it poorly!¡±


    ¡°I can teach you, first tell me what you already know.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t you help me with that too?¡±


    ¡°I am! I¡¯m gonna teach you how to film and edit, okay?¡±


    ¡°But¡­ can¡¯t you just do it?¡±


    ¡°Honey, that¡¯s cheating, we could get expelled.¡±


    ¡°But if you don¡¯t tell anyone, how would they even find out?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I don¡¯t wanna risk it. What would happen to you if you got expelled? Surely you don¡¯t want to work as a waitress your whole life.¡±


    ¡°But if I fail this project, I¡¯ll be working as a waitress my whole life too. Don¡¯t you love me Sam?¡±


    ¡°I do!¡± He said with surprising conviction. ¡°I do, okay! Which is why I¡¯m not gonna cheat, I¡¯m not letting you get expelled. You need to graduate, and you need to get your diploma so you can get a job in the future.¡±


    They finished their dinner, played a round of bowling where she won effortlessly and headed back to her place to rest. She wondered if Sam went easy on her to pump her confidence up. Whether he did or not, it worked.


    ¡°I get¡­ lonely at night.¡± Honey said, checking the stock in her fridge. She made a mental note to shop for groceries this weekend.


    ¡°Oh.¡± He said. Joe ran straight to her bed and rolled around in it with her permission.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I can¡¯t sleep¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, well¡­ I could call you, I¡¯m kind of a night owl anyway.¡±


    ¡°Really? You¡¯d do that¡­ for me?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. But I can¡¯t guarantee I¡¯ll stay awake though.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s okay¡­ thanks Sam.¡± She smiled. She had him under his thumb, and all of a sudden felt the agency to demand whatever her heart desired.


    ¡°We should have dinner more often.¡± She hated cooking instant noodles for herself in her dilapidated kitchen. ¡°Don¡¯t you think?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, definitely, but I don¡¯t know if I can afford-¡±


    ¡°Next date, I¡¯ll choose where to go, okay?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ don¡¯t choose a place that¡¯s super expensive, okay? I don¡¯t have a lot of money. Heh.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say your cousins are rich?¡±


    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t just ask them for money whenever, I gotta work for it.¡±


    ¡°Next Friday, we¡¯ll have dinner again, okay? Ask your cousin for money.¡± She yawned, chiding Joe lightly for dropping her blanket on the floor. ¡°You know¡­ my ex¡­ he never bought me anything. Not for my birthday, or for Valentine¡¯s Day, or anything. I can¡¯t believe I missed that major red flag¡­¡±


    **


    Next Friday, she chose a restaurant by the beach, and watched the ocean waves in glee whilst Sam watched the bill in horror. He tried his best to ignore it, compensating by recounting more stories about his affluent cousins.


    Following the dinner, Honey felt nothing but comfort. At first, she was apprehensive of the relationship, wondering if Sam had ulterior motives or devil fangs he showed no one, but now she can¡¯t imagine living without it.. With this comfort, she started desiring more from him, knowing he had his cousins to fund him, asking for gift after gift after gift.


    ¡°It¡¯s a week before Valentine¡¯s Day, let¡¯s celebrate early.¡± She winked.


    ¡°Oh my god, that looks so pretty, can I have it? Please-please-please-please¡­¡± She squealed again, getting herself the make up kit of her dreams. She put it on for him the next day, which seemed to convince him that he made a wise purchase.


    She also began to overcome her aversion to physical contact. He wanted to hold her hand, and she let him. He wanted to put his hand over her shoulder, and she let him. But kissing still crossed the line. Now, she practically lived at his place, spending her afternoons working the bare minimum on the school project, and slyly provoking Sam to do the work for her by playing dumb.


    ¡°How do I put this together.¡± She hits undo. ¡°Uh oh, it¡¯s gone. Sam, help.¡±


    ¡°What? What did you- Oh, don¡¯t hit Control-Z, that¡¯s undo. Here, I¡¯ll show you¡­¡± He took over. ¡°All you gotta do is¡­¡± She pointed a finger gun at Joe, and he pointed one back. The two had a western-style brawl, taking three paces before shooting. ¡°And then snap it together¡­ and done! See? It¡¯s not hard, it¡¯s just slow and tedious, you know?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Oh! I see. I get it now, thanks.¡±


    ¡°Welcome.¡±


    ¡°Tomorrow¡¯s Valentine¡¯s Day, how¡¯s the surprise coming along?¡±


    ¡°Fully prepared. Prepare yourself girl.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay.¡±


    ¡°You got anything planned for me?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°Nah, kidding. You don¡¯t have to do anything. Seeing you happy makes me happy.¡± His smile carried so much sincerity it made her feel a foreign emotion.

 Perfume

    ¡°You know¡­ my ex¡­ he never bought me anything. Not for my birthday, or for Valentine¡¯s Day, or anything. I can¡¯t believe I missed that major red flag¡­¡± She trailed off, presumably fast asleep.


    Joe ran out of her room to confirm his theory, then complained of fatigue.


    ¡°Ok Joe, we¡¯ll go off soon. I just need to do something first.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Keep your voice down, do you know how rare it is for her to fall asleep? I¡¯m just trying to see what¡­¡± His eyes flew around the room. ¡°...would make the perfect gift.¡±


    ¡°Zombies!¡±


    ¡°No, Joe, she doesn¡¯t like zombies. She likes sweet food, pretty clothes, and is surprisingly good at bowling.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°Nap on the couch Joe, I¡¯ll wake you up when I¡¯m done.¡±


    Joe agreed, dozing off immediately.


    He took his notebook out of his pocket, unrolled and flattened it on his chest, then flipped to an open page. He begins investigating, searching every nook and cranny of her house; only deciding that the bathroom was off-limits.


    Her fridge contained the bare minimum required to sustain a person, one packet of vegetables and a single apple. Most of her cupboards were completely empty, clearly unused from day one, but was yet spick and span. The drawers were where her cutlery was laid, one spoon and one fork. Below that laid a few plates and bowls, and below that laid nothing else. Would she appreciate kitchenware? It made sense to buy it for her, but did not make the most romantic gift in his eyes.


    He moved on to the couch and the coffee table. Her laptop sat charging, and Sam opened it up to check the brand. Lacking knowledge in computers, he took a photo and emailed it to his cousin to judge its quality. A new laptop perhaps? Or maybe something more conventionally romantic.


    He struggled remembering all he''d seen so far, and so he started writing it down in bullet points. He placed his ideas in brackets on the next page. He went on to her bedroom, only searching through the cabinets that were already open prior. All her clothes lay neatly stacked and folded, and he found that admirable. Beside her clothes however was something peculiar.


    He carefully picked it up, surprised by how much it weighed. A small knock indicates glass on the inside, and upon opening it, he found a small bottle of perfume. He sprayed it out of curiosity, and smelled flowers. He inspected closer, and it seemed the bottle was about to run out. And then it struck him, he quickly took a photo of the bottle and finally left her place. Joe couldn¡¯t stop grumbling the entire trip back home.


    **


    He checked his mail next Monday. Nothing. It seems his cousin over-estimated the speed of shipping deliveries once again. It surprised him that the cousin agreed to buy all these expensive items so nonchalantly, and wondered how easy-going his life must be to act this way. He daydreamt how he¡¯d thrive in that sort of life.


    He spent his free hundred dollars as frugally as possible, trying his best to dissuade Honey from expensive requests. She pointed at the most expensive plush toy in the shop, and Sam had to keep his jaw up from reading the price tag. He slyly picked up the one beside it, and started to talk up its value. ¡°I think this one is so much cuter, you know?¡±


    Fortunately, she agreed. His cousin can only send him so many cheques after all, or can he actually send him all the money he could ever ask for. Even if so, the money wouldn¡¯t be his, and he¡¯d feel immoral spending it on himself. His cousin supported his relationship, which assured Sam that using his money on it counted as his cousin¡¯s investment, like buying stock or lottery tickets.


    Wednesday, it hasn¡¯t arrived, now he began to panic. He only had two days left. Every time he arrived early to their dates, he felt the butterflies cower in his stomach. He would pray to a wishing star that she''d cancel the last minute and bail on him. It confused him how much he grew to dislike spending time with her, despite liking her for almost a year. This isn¡¯t the Honey he knew.


    He remembered Sonia¡¯s warning, and began to wonder if her claims held water. Did he really not catch this side of her personality before? Or did he willfully ignore it in favour of feeling butterflies. Strangely, he missed crushing on her from a distance.


    All the restaurants she chose were terrible. The food served tasted odd and could barely feed one person despite bankrupting many. He spelled his troubled feelings to his cousin, and decided he wouldn''t ask for a cent more after the gift arrived.


    **


    Friday, finally it arrived. With little time on the clock, he did away with wrapping it, and simply hid it under the couch. He wanted to celebrate in a private setting first before going to dinner, and surprisingly she agreed.


    She arrived smelling and wearing western food on her apron. She quickly took it off and neatly folded it away. He got Joe to give her a cup of lemonade again, and she gladly chugged down the whole cup. ¡°How do you make this? It¡¯s so good. Do you have a recipe?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you one later, but anyway¡­ I got a present for you!¡±


    ¡°Aw, Sam!¡±


    He took it out from under the couch cushions, praying it wasn¡¯t damaged or scratched in any way. From her reaction however, it looked like it was.


    ¡°Why, you don¡¯t like it?¡± Her face went pale white. Did he buy the wrong brand by accident? Or did he misinterpret the purpose of it?


    ¡°No! I love it!¡± She set it aside, chewing her thumb. He did something wrong.


    ¡°You look scared, what¡¯s going on?¡± He reached his hand out, and she repelled back.


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    ¡°I uh¡­ cut my hand during work, so¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh my god!¡± He exclaimed. ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine, my manager bandaged it for me.¡±


    ¡°Can I see?¡±


    ¡°No!¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s nothing to be embarrassed about, we all get injured sometimes.¡±


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. Dinner?¡±


    He paused for awhile, doubts brewing stronger than ever. For some reason, today he found the courage to express them to her. ¡°Ok, seriously, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± His tone grew sternly.


    ¡°Sam, what¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m asking you that! Answer me.¡±


    ¡°Are you sick?¡±


    ¡°Stop it. Something¡¯s wrong with you.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ouch?¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡±


    ¡°Something¡¯s wrong with me? Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°Stop doing that!¡±


    ¡°Doing what!¡±


    ¡°I- like- stop- like- changing the topic or whatever, I don¡¯t know how to describe it, but you know what I¡¯m talking about!¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Honey, please, I just want to talk to you. You¡¯ve been acting weird this past week.¡±


    ¡°I have?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re asking me to buy so many things for you. First it was that keychain, then the phone case, then the plush toy, what- I don¡¯t have infinite money to spend on you, even if I wanted to!¡±


    ¡°Do you even want to?¡±


    ¡°Yeah! I want to buy you all the presents in the world but I can¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t have money! I¡¯m poor!¡±


    ¡°No, why do you want to buy all the presents in the world for me?¡±


    ¡°Because I love you!¡±


    ¡°Do you?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡±


    ¡°Prove it.¡±


    He pointed to the present he just gave her.


    ¡°Yeah, well, why would you love me anyway?¡±


    ¡°Because- you¡¯re so pretty and cute!¡±


    ¡°Oh, so you just like me for my looks?¡±


    ¡°No, not just that!¡±


    ¡°So you don¡¯t like me for my looks?¡±


    ¡°No- N- what are you even talking about right now?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like you love me anymore.¡±


    ¡°What, why would you feel that?¡± He regretted not buying her kitchenware or a new laptop.


    ¡°Because you don¡¯t want to buy gifts for me anymore!¡± Out of the blue, she started crying. He placed a hand on her shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me!¡± She slapped it away.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on Honey? Seriously. You¡¯re not acting like yourself.¡±


    ¡°I am! This is me Sam! This is who I am! So either deal with it- or go find another girl to be with! I want presents, and if you can¡¯t give me that, you¡¯re not right for me.¡±


    ¡°Huh? What, no! That¡¯s not who you are!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I know you, and this is not who you are.¡± He demanded. ¡°You aren¡¯t this selfish, entitled, stupid bratty princess! If you were I would¡¯ve never liked you.¡±


    Honey went speechless.


    ¡°You¡¯re- you¡¯re responsible! You fold your clothes neatly, you- you make sure every inch of your house is clean even though you live alone, you work a part-time job to support yourself, that¡¯s who you are! You¡¯re so hardworking and responsible. I mean, you live alone in a terrible neighbourhood but you still give it your all everyday despite how terrible your parents were or how terrible things get. That¡¯s who you are!¡±


    Honey wanted to say something, but stopped herself. Sam inched closer towards her.


    ¡°You¡¯re strong. You never let anything knock you down. And that¡¯s what I love about you. You¡¯re a fighter, you¡¯re a- a- I- a- , and on top of that you¡¯re pretty, which is just a bonus. I know who you are, okay? And asking for plushies or phone cases, that¡¯s not you¡­ that¡¯s some- petty scumbag person that I hate even more than I hate Sonia. So what¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°You think I¡¯m a scumbag?¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not what I- mm! Can you just talk to me?¡±


    ¡°Not if you¡¯re gonna keep insulting me!¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, why do you keep interpreting my words in like the worst way possible? It¡¯s almost like you''re fishing for a reason to fight! It¡¯s like you want to hate me for some reason. I mean, like- if you hate me so much, why even date me to begin with? Why even give me a chance after so long if you hate me? Why even pretend if you hate me?¡±


    ¡°I never said that.¡±


    ¡°Course you didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I want to break up. Stay away from me.¡± Honey announced and left the house in flash.


    **


    He screamed and roared at the furniture, using the couch as his punching bag. He tossed the cushions around the room, not giving a care in the world if he breaks any of his aunt¡¯s precious items. ¡°Stupid- stupid- stupid- even after I bought you all those things? Even after I got you all those dinners? This is how you repay me?¡± He mocked, ¡°Oh, stay away from me, oh, you don¡¯t love me anymore, what does that even mean! Why would she even have a reason to think that? What did I even do? I literally bought her the perfume she uses! I bought the keychain, I bought the stupid- stupid- the soft toy, I bought the dinner, the pasta, the flower- I bought everything! I deserve this!¡± He looked around and saw Joe cowering in the corner.


    ¡°I deserve this¡­¡± He sat down and weeped to himself. ¡°Joe¡­¡± He sniffed. ¡°I deserve this! This is not fair! I worked hard, I deserve this!¡±


    Joe cautiously stepped out and embraced him.


    ¡°Can you pass me my notebook, I gotta- write something down.¡± He pinched his forehead.


    ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°On the table, like it always is!¡± He raised his voice. ¡°Sorry¡­ I didn¡¯t mean to shout at you¡­ it¡¯s, it¡¯s on the table.¡±


    Joe nodded and left. ¡°It¡¯s not there!¡±


    ¡°What? Yes it is, I placed it there.¡±


    Joe shook his head.


    ¡°What? Uh¡­ check my bag maybe.¡±


    Joe searched through his bag and brought out a book.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s my book for school, my notebook. The one I always carry around.¡± His gut dropped. Was Joe just being blind?


    Joe shook his head again.


    ¡°Oh no¡­¡± He said to himself, and started dumping out everything from his bag.

 Ten Pages

    Disinfectant soap pricked her head like needles. The olfactory detected the main aroma of soap and other cleaning products, but underneath it laid something else, a smell unique to cleaning products that offended her. Honey pulled out Sam''s notebook with a pale face.


    ¡°Why do you have that?¡± She raised an eyebrow, peering at the schemes the girl had inside her head. She always overestimated her own intelligence.


    ¡°I stole it from him yesterday while we- that¡¯s not the point, this is!¡± She flipped to a page with her name written in large bold text.


    ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s obsessed with you, I told you.¡±


    ¡°Flip to the next page.¡± Honey said, chewing a fingernail.


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± Sonia flipped the page over, and she understood the gravity of the situation entirely. Her smug exterior melts away to an expression much more serious.


    ¡°That¡¯s not all¡­ keep going.¡±


    She flipped to the next page, and then the next, and then the next. In total there were ten pages of contents, ending with her address written and circled and underlined and highlighted. Sonia slammed the book shut and propelled it against the wet tiles beneath her feet.


    ¡°And you dare fight back when I told you to break up with him.¡± She turned to Honey.


    ¡°Ok, clearly you were right, as always¡­¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re still salty over it? Wake up!¡± She clapped right in her face.


    A tear rolled down Honey¡¯s cheek. ¡°Just help me settle this, okay? Please¡­¡±


    ¡°Apologise first.¡±


    ¡°For what! I didn¡¯t do anything to you!¡±


    ¡°Not to me-¡± She craned her head towards the mirror. ¡°-to yourself!"


    She glared at the girl staring at herself, face already flushing red with contempt and disgust. Picking the notebook off the floor, she ripped out those ten disgusting pages carelessly, and stuffed it in her bag.


    She spent none of her lunch break eating. Instead, she made a trip to the teacher¡¯s office, knocking on the glass door disruptively. Eventually, someone would greet her, albeit in annoyance.


    ¡°Who are you looking for? It is incredibly rude to knock on the door like that.¡±


    ¡°I need to see the principal.¡±


    ¡°What for?¡±


    ¡°I need to tell him something.¡±


    ¡°You can say it to me.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s serious, he himself needs to hear it.¡±


    The teacher stood less aggressively. ¡°Why? Are you okay? Are you hurt?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not about me. It¡¯s about my friend.¡±


    ¡°Ok, come on.¡± The teacher led her in, and a blast of silence hit her, which was soon disrupted by the sound pollution of printers and light panels. The humming and buzzing proved to be more annoying than she expected.


    The teacher knocked on the principal¡¯s door, requesting her to wait outside for a moment. She went in, uttered a few words to him, before opening her door to allow her in. Sonia sat down confidently before the man himself, slamming the ten pages down on his desk.


    ¡°What is this?¡± The principal asked.


    She pointed to the name written on the first page. ¡°Honey Candy, a student from Diploma of Film Studies, is being stalked by Sam Windsor, a student from Diploma in Business Management.¡±


    **


    The school day flashed by in a blink, her mind set on only one thing. Karma. She refused to hold anything back today, giving lesser than zero considerations for Sam, or for the club, or for anything else.


    She marched in the lecture hall, dropping her bag by the entrance and charged head-first for Sam, pinning the boy against the whiteboard and holding up the disgusting ten pages in her hands. ¡°Ms Eva saw this. Alongside the principal and the board of directors, you''re dead.¡±


    ¡°What? Hey! Back off! Saw what? F- Leave me alone-¡± He froze, seeing the pages more clearly. ¡°How do you have that? I thought Honey took it?¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯d rather she showed it to you than me. Why? Because she¡¯s not strong enough to pin you to a whiteboard. Huh!¡± She pressed harder, compressing his chest as his face crumpled.


    ¡°Ok, look, I can explain, just let me- I can¡¯t breathe¡­ Come on¡­ please.¡±


    ¡°Ten pages! Ten! How long did it take for you to write all this...hm?" She pressed harder.


    ¡°I¡¯m serious¡­ stop¡­ I have a chest thing¡­¡±


    Sonia let him go for a moment, and he coughed violently. Then, Honey entered on cue, holding up the rest of his notebook.


    ¡°Give-¡± He coughs. ¡°Give it back, I need it.¡±


    ¡°For what?¡±


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    ¡°I can explain, Honey, please, just listen¡­¡± He placed his hand up in an act of cowardice.


    ¡°I am! Talk!¡± Honey demanded.


    ¡°I just wanted to buy you the perfect gift¡­ and I just wrote some notes and ideas down to like¡­ collect my thoughts. It was how I came up with the perfume!¡±


    ¡°How did you know I used that perfume, and that exact brand, and that exact scent?¡±


    ¡°What perfume?¡± Sonia asked.


    ¡°I saw it in your cabinet.¡±


    ¡°You went through my cabinet!¡± Honey shouted.


    ¡°It was already open!¡±


    ¡°Wow, you¡¯re more creepy that I thought.¡± Sonia resumed.


    ¡°No! I¡¯m not! I¡¯m a nice guy, you know that! Honey, you know I¡¯m nice, I¡¯ve been nothing but nice to you all this time! Come on! I love you.¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, I¡¯m gonna throw up.¡± Sonia covered her mouth.


    ¡°I did too, until you- you-¡± Honey interfered.


    ¡°Oh zip it, you¡¯re number two on my list! You¡¯re not just a victim in this!¡± Sonia continued. ¡°I have had it with the both of you! But-¡± She balled fists, taking a deep breath, ¡°-one at a time.¡± She looked to Sam, who stood paralysed with a white flag over his face, ¡°You, continue. Tell us why we shouldn¡¯t get the police involved.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Please, please, Sonia, please, please, please. I swear, please. I can¡¯t, please, my parents, they would disown me, and what about Joe, and what about the club? The club! What about the club, you can¡¯t have this club without me, don¡¯t you love editing? What about the club-¡±


    ¡°You kicked me out, remember? You said Erin could replace me. So I don¡¯t give two craps about the club.¡±


    ¡°Ok, ok, you¡¯re back in! Ta-daa!¡± His knees trembled, tears flowing faster than a waterfall. It was the first time she saw him so vulnerable. A voice echoed in her head to stop. ¡°I¡¯ll make you the leader, you call all the shots, everyone will listen to you! I won¡¯t call you mean, I¡¯ll follow every word you say, I¡¯ll do anything you want. Please, please!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re pathetic. You know that? Just this slimy little worm in the dirt who wants to fly amongst the birds, who always dreams about being bigger, but deep down¡­ he knows he¡¯s just a stupid liitle worm.¡± Sonia inches in closer for the final blow. ¡°You try all these little things to gain success, you try to make a film, you enter a business course, but nothing works. You wanna know why? Because you¡¯re a failure! You¡¯re a giant failure, you¡¯re born into failure, and if you ever have children you¡¯ll only keep the cycle going! I weep-¡± She shouted out. ¡°-for your brother. He deserves better.¡±


    ¡°Ok!¡± He barked. ¡°You¡¯re right! I am worth nothing! I am just a little worm! Woo-hoo! You win! All the points, go to you! You¡¯re the king! You¡¯re sitting in your high-rise glass ceiling office, and I¡¯m outside talking to your secretary asking if I could come in to see you before I go home. Oh, could I see Aunty Flower just once? I¡¯m going back to Singapore tomorrow and I miss her so much! Oh i¡¯m sorry, she¡¯s in a very important meeting!¡± He wiped saliva off his mouth. ¡°I live in a house that isn¡¯t mine! My phone isn¡¯t mine! My couch isn¡¯t mine! My clothes aren¡¯t mine! This stupid plain white T-shirt came from my cousins! Everything did! We own nothing! At least worms have- have- have- have- their own little- plot of dirt in the ground, we- we- we- we- have nothing! So congratulations! You! Win! Happy?¡± He roars, and tosses his bag to the back of the room.


    Sonia froze, still processing the overwhelming amount of emotions put on display. Seeing the boy in pieces triggered emotions in her too, and she resisted showing them. She turned around to see Honey watching in pure horror, dreading her turn. The voice inside grew louder, pleading to let it slide, and finally, Sonia caved.


    ¡°And you-¡± She said to Honey. ¡°I think you already know¡­what I have to say¡­¡±


    Honey simply ran away.


    A boulder lifted off her shoulders, and she floated for a moment. She looked around the empty room, and then to the crying boy now collapsed to the floor with his face buried in a chair. What did she just do?


    ¡°Please¡­ don¡¯t call the police¡­ Please¡­ please¡­ I¡¯m begging you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not up to me Sam.¡± She dropped the notebook on his head, zipped her bag open, and passed him a thumbdrive. ¡°I finished editing everything. Submission is by midnight today. Don¡¯t forget.¡±


    **


    In a frenzied panic, she sprinted across the school looking for Honey, as requested by the principal to begin the investigation into the matter. She searched the campus up and down, and failed to find the sobbing girl. Giving a weak excuse to the teachers, she hailed a cab to her place, hoping the girl had gone home to seek refuge.


    She guessed right, seeing a grief-stricken girl answer the door, before slamming it in her face. Sonia quickly put her foot out, feeling the weight of the door crush her toes. ¡°Ow- f-¡± She screamed, staggering in whilst nursing the injured area with her hands.


    Honey immediately sprung into action, finding a plaster in her room and removing her shoe to place it on. ¡°Which toe?¡±


    ¡°First one.¡±


    ¡°Here?¡± She angled it right on top of the nail.


    ¡°A bit to the left.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± She angled it left, then pasted it on. Then, her original emotions of grief returned. ¡°What are you doing in my house? Go away! Why does everyone know where I live!¡±


    ¡°Because we helped you move!  And I need you to go back to school.¡±


    ¡°Leave me alone!¡±


    ¡°I need you to give your statement to the principal.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re investigating Sam, and they need to hear from you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sending him to jail!¡±


    ¡°He creeped around your house, who knows what else he saw? He went through your closet! Did you store any clothes beside the perfume?¡±


    ¡°T-shirts.¡±


    ¡°Imagine if you stored the perfume in say¡­ the bottom drawer?¡±


    ¡°I know! Okay! I know what he did, and I know it¡¯s all my fault!¡±


    ¡°So give your statement, and don¡¯t lie. Unless you want him to look in your bathroom next.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t get it.¡±


    ¡°What now?¡±


    ¡°I said you don¡¯t get it.¡±


    ¡°Get what?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know how I feel.¡±


    ¡°Oh my-¡± She held her breath. She wanted to combust again. ¡°You are just¡­ a mess. Just¡­ the biggest mess of a person I have ever seen. You¡¯re so so stupid, always just destroying- what? Do you like being sad? I don¡¯t- I can¡¯t even- And you wonder why you¡¯re lonely, and you wonder why none of your relationships last! Honey! Are you like¡­ mentally sane? Or are you just genuinely that¡­ dumb? I actually can¡¯t tell!¡±


    ¡°Oh, and you¡¯re perfect right? You have no flaws at all? We¡¯re the idiots and you¡¯re the smart one, right? And you say Sam is the one with the ego. Please.¡± She rebutted, wiping tears off her face. ¡°I bet you¡¯re having so much fun bullying us into the dirt right? Does your chest feel lighter? Can you feel yourself on the verge of a smile? Because this is the only thing that gets you to smile right? Pulling others down to your level?¡± She shook her head. ¡°Like father like daughter."


    Sonia pointed a finger at her, utterly speechless. She simply hailed a cab home, ignored her mother, and screamed into a pillow until her voice went hoarse.

 Irredeemable

    He described her kitchen perfectly, listing an inventory of everything in her fridge. The few fruits she bought as a healthier snack alternative, the few stalks of vegetables she bought as a pathetic attempt to eat nutritiously, and the bars of chocolate she ate on her period.


    He went in my fridge? She chewed her thumb, sculpting the nail into a perfect arc the best she could.


    She flipped to the next page. He continued onto her cupboards. The packets of instant ramen she kept, the singular pot she used to cook them, a few cups, and then her pathetic collection of silverware. Next page. Skin came off the thumb, and she felt a sting. Some ideas listed in brackets: ¡°New computer, kitchenware, cutlery, food.¡± With a small side-note. ¡°Not romantic enough.¡±


    She saw red and wrapped a homemade bandage around it with tissue. Her cabinets were next on the chopping block, and from the change in font size, she could tell how excited he felt discovering the perfume bottle. It was solely for emotional support, where she¡¯d spray some to escape into the past when she was the queen of the world.


    With nowhere left to turn, she called for her lifeline. ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Sonia barked, expecting another melo-dramatic rant to end her day.


    **


    ¡°I need you to give your statement to the principal.¡± Sonia instructed. She would¡¯ve needed to do so regardless, but Sonia simply wanted to rub it in. She barked back and stood up for herself for the first time, shutting her down.


    Teachers pulled her away from class the next day for interrogation, assuring her repeatedly that she wasn¡¯t in trouble. She begged to differ, weaving together a lie that¡¯d exonerate Sam on the way there. It was the least she could do after yesterday. Letting Sam be punished for her sin would be unforgivable, even by her own standards.


    The walls hugged her with an aggressive shade of white, and the teacher had a laptop set up, performing the job of a stenographer.. ¡°Do you know why we called you here today?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Your friend reported that Sam Windsor was stalking you, what are your thoughts on that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not true.¡± Everyone painted her a victim, but that couldn¡¯t be further from the truth. She exploited his deepest insecurities and toyed with him, all for some dumb school project. Seriously? She began to think that she was irredeemable.


    ¡°You¡¯re not in trouble. We want to help you. Can you tell us what happened?¡±


    ¡°We had a fight, and Sonia overreacted and just reported him.¡±


    ¡°What was the fight about?¡±


    ¡°We were¡­ breaking up.¡±


    ¡°You two were in a relationship?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°How long did it last?¡±


    Were they trying to mock her? ¡°A week¡­ or two.¡±


    ¡°Ok, so why did Sonia report him for stalking if he didn¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°She overreacted! She¡¯s usually very protective of me.¡± She cracked a smile.


    ¡°Are you two close?¡±


    She hesitated for a moment. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°She gave us a few pages from Sam¡¯s notebook, do you know about that?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Do you know what¡¯s on it?¡±


    She nodded again.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Things that I told him about me¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what she told us. She told us this was information he got from breaking into your place and snooping around.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s exaggerating. She hates Sam.¡±


    ¡°Has there always been conflict between those two?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°We run the film club together, and Sam got the position as the president over like¡­a technicality. And Sonia always thinks Sam doesn¡¯t know how to lead the club well, and that she can do it so much better.¡± She rolled her eyes.


    ¡°I see¡­ So Sam didn¡¯t stalk you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°He didn¡¯t break into your place to snoop around?¡±


    ¡°No!¡±


    ¡°Everything he wrote in his notebook was things you told him?¡±


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    She nodded.


    ¡°And how did you feel when you realised he wrote them down? Or did you ask him to write it down?¡±


    She froze. They called for her attention a few times which went unheard. All her attention swung back to the night she read through the pages, and the hermit crab shrivelled back into her shell.


    ¡°Ok, thank you for your time.¡± They went over mundane administrative matters, and returned her to class. She rejected their offer to the counsellor¡¯s office.


    **


    The moment the lock clicked, the dam broke; again. She cried over her pitiful house, her pitiful life, her pitiful self, and her pitiful kitchen. She cried over everything for the millionth time. Why did she even manipulate him to begin with? Was the school project truly that insurmountable she had to resort to cheating?


    No, she would simply be forcibly assigned to one of the existing groups once she voiced her situation to the teacher, and would then do the project as per normal. But instead she decided to take the long way around, playing Sam into her hands and letting him do all the work. By the time of their break-up, he had already completed the first half of the film for her.


    Then why did she do it? She smacked that question over her head until a migraine formed. Why was she, in Sonia¡¯s words, so dumb? It definitely wasn¡¯t just about the school project, she knew that, but what other reason would motivate her stupidity? She¡¯d be lying to herself if she kept sitting there pondering over a question she already answered. Easily enchanted by his motivational words, she latched onto him for another round, and then another, and another; each hit increasing in potency. Knowing how much he loved her kept the demons at bay.


    And now the demons were made welcome again. She sat with them, writing herself off as a lost cause. Sonia wouldn¡¯t even pick up if she called. But an hour later she realised she couldn¡¯t possibly remain this way for the rest of her life; even if she didn¡¯t plan to live it for long. If she was truly at rock bottom, then there was nowhere to go but up.


    She woke up tomorrow feeling refreshed despite having only an hour of sleep. Making a promise to herself to move up, she prepared the most healthy breakfast her fridge could offer and swore to never wear her disgusting skirt ever again. Without her costume to wear, she naturally needed new clothes to replace it. Off she went, jogging for the first time in her life towards the mall.


    A figure emerged from the shadows and breathed behind her. With hair stood on ends, she turned around and prepared to scream for help, but the figure had vanished into thin air. Nowhere but up, she consoled herself, and reverted to walking.


    Trying on outfit after outfit, she reminded herself of all the times she did this with Sonia. Sonia would offer colourful criticisms to anything she wore, but Honey knew better to read between the lines, studying her gaze for her real impressions. If Sonia couldn''t look away, it meant she found it attractive, which always felt intoxicating to learn. She often joked about how majestic it would be to wear these outfits on her wedding day, and surprisingly, Sonia would play along, diving into a daydream about what each bride wished for. Turns out the two had polarising opinions on what they found best to include on that day.


    Tears well up again, remembering how the two ended things. She couldn¡¯t bear the thought of living without Sonia for even a second longer, and splurged on a dress as an apology gift. It was the best idea she could come up with.


    **


    Walking to the lecture hall felt alienating today, and with each step closer her gut dropped a level. Haunting flashes of all that happened overwhelmed her, from reading the ten pages whilst chewing her thumb till it bled to watching Sonia''s dressing down in pure horror. She simply wanted to close the chapter and move on. All she needed to do was to make a U-turn straight home, and never appear there again to make it official.


    Sonia shyly glanced her down when she entered, surprised at her jeans. Ms Eva filled them in on Sam''s punishment, and advised the two contenders to decide as soon as possible who was next to hold the baton.


    Sitting across each other on the stage, they scrolled through their phones to avoid confrontation. The subtle glances towards each other only grew in frequency, until one party prepared to break the silence. However, just as that came close to fruition, Erin walked in.


    "Hi guys. I''m so sorry, my dog fell really sick... and I had to take care of him for the whole week, I swear I thought I messaged Sam about it but- anyway, I still submitted the soundtrack in time, you received it right?" She looked to Sonia, who gave a slight nod. Only now did she catch up, feeling the tension wafting in the atmosphere.


    "Um... what''s going on? Where''s Sam? Why are you both- I''m really sorry, I swear to you I messaged Sam about it, and I gave you the soundtrack in time, you edited it in right? Or did you not have enough time?"


    Sonia nodded. "It''s not about you. Stop panicking."


    "Oh ok- then uh- what''s...going on? Why''s everyone so- where''s Sam?"


    "Suspended... for two weeks."


    "What! Why?" She gasped.


    The two girls looked to each other, flipping an invisible coin to decide who¡¯d break the news. Alas, they remain undecided.


    "Why?" Erin asked more seriously. "Did he do something?"


    Honey nodded. "You don''t need to know."


    "Uh... ok...?"


    "He''s also not the president anymore, which means one of us three has to take over." Sonia said.


    "Woah, what? I- uh- ok."


    "We have until the end of the day to decide."


    "Um... ok. So... how are we gonna do it? We can like- have a voting thing?"


    "Sure."


    Erin fell silent too, perpetuating the suffocating atmosphere.


    She couldn''t take it anymore. Honey bolted off to the toilet, hiding in the stall to compose herself. Sonia hated her as much as she hated herself, and there was no way the two could reconcile. What was she thinking when she bought that dress? Sonia can''t be bought off so easily, a fact she should know better than anyone. She burnt the bridge the moment she mentioned her father, all because she felt insulted. Doesn''t she know all of Sonia''s mannerisms by now? Doesn''t she know better to read between the lines and take her words less personally?


    The creaking of the door bounced off the walls, jerking her back to reality. Despite not seeing anything, she could tell Sonia walked in, and could envision her heading towards the sink and washing her hands before sitting on it.


    "Who do you want to be leader?" She asked.


    Honey rolled her eyes, how typical of her to sweep everything under the rug and focus on the task at hand.


    "Do you want to be the leader at all? Genuinely asking."


    Honey crossed her arms, refusing to play along. Sonia would forcibly segway the conversation every time she wanted to avoid talking.


    "Answer me. I don''t want anyone to do it if they just don''t care."


    Honey stayed silent.


    "I want someone that actually cares about this club to take over, okay? So tell me if you actually care about the club, or do you just want to do acting?" Sonia waited for her response. "Can you say something? I''m voting Erin if you continue keeping quiet."


    "Just vote yourself."


    "What?"


    "You''re the only one who actually cares, so why don''t you do it?"


    "I can''t do it, don''t be insane. But... uh... Erin? She''s new, she doesn''t know how it all works yet."


    "I don''t want to be the leader. So there''s your answer." She sniffed and walked out, washing her hands.


    "Are... are- um..." Sonia stuttered. "Are you okay?"


    The question stabbed her in the gut, and she wanted to collapse in her arms. The prior conflicts they had no longer mattered to her. She simply needed her friend back. She shook her head.


    "Ok... I''m not... ok either. So..."


    "Ok... why?"


    Sonia rubbed her hands together, and they simply watched each other''s gaze in complete silence. Slowly, they both crept a smile.


    "Hey, I bought you something." Honey smiled, heading back to the classroom. Zipping her bag open, she delivers the gift, ultimately grateful she bought it. "Here. It should fit you, we both wear the same size."


    "What... I don''t wear dresses, ew!"


    "Aw...!" Erin chimed in.


    "It''d look nice on you, I swear."


    "No, I''m never wearing that. Ever." Sonia carefully packed it in her bag. "So... have you two decided yet?"


    Erin and Honey nodded.


    "Cool, me too. On three... I guess, I dunno. One, two... three."


    Two fingers pointed at Sonia, and one pointed at Erin.

 Do A Spin!

    "So... leader-" Erin chuckled. "What''s next?"


    "Huh?" Sonia snapped out of her trance. Honey was nowhere to be seen, despite her not having a shift at the restaurant today. She feared the worst from her sudden absence.


    "What are we gonna do today? And how did ''Singing Doll'' do? In the competition?"


    "Uh... I didn''t check yet."


    "Oh, okay. Do you want to post it online?"


    "Yeah, yeah... on the school website." She tried to return to her train of thought to no avail


    .


    "Ok cool, I can do that."


    "Yeah... thanks."


    Erin clapped her hands together, reminding her of Ben. She thought back to their falling out and wondered how long ago that was. "So, what now? Do we come up with something new to film... or...? I don''t know how you guys usually start projects."


    "Well us ''guys'' aren''t here anymore."


    "Oh... ok... meaning?"


    "Just post it online... and go home. I''ll text you later."


    "Um... ok."


    **


    The sun blinded her Sunday morning, punishing her for her horrendous sleep habits. The weight of her skull jerked around, spinning the room beneath her feet. Using mental recollection as a walking stick, she stumbled her way downstairs to the dining table, where breakfast lays waiting. An omelette with diced tomatoes and mushrooms, exactly the way she likes it.


    "He''s calling today. You ready?"


    She nodded, having no mental capacity to answer otherwise.


    "You don''t have to, you know?"


    "I want to." She barked.


    "Ok... ok... ok." Her mother handed her a package. "This is from him."


    She nodded, taking a bite out of her perfect breakfast. Even her mother''s culinary skills were unable to lift the dark cloud. She stumbled her way back to her room, wilting away in her bed as the world lies on her shoulders. As the president of the club, she had to pick up the scraps Sam made during his reign and save the club from obscurity. How could she possibly manage to carry the entire club on her back as the dead horse it is? She had nothing in her to make this work, yet she knew she owed it to them, and more importantly to herself, to make this work. From day one, she invested the most out of the three, giving it her all until Sam found it too troublesome. Now with the keys to the castle, she ironically wanted nothing to do with it any longer.


    "Can we talk?" Her mother asked a while later with a knock on her door. Intuitively, she felt an hour had passed. "On the couch?"


    She groaned, and dragged her corpse there for a motherly chat. At least she had the decency to put on her favourite films to buy her time.


    "You don''t look good." Go figure, she thought. She burned down the entire world. "What''s going on?"


    "Don''t you already know?"


    "Well then what do you think about it?"


    She shrugged, finding nothing worthwhile to answer with.


    Her mother sighed, "I just want to talk to you, Sonia."


    "There''s no point."


    "Why? I mean, you''ll talk to him-" She subdued her anger, "Why?"


    "You''ll just say the same thing, I''ll say how I feel and you''ll just tell me ''it''s not my fault, I love you little genius.'' when it obviously is! There''s no point!"


    "Well, why do you think it''s your fault to begin with?"


    "Are you serious? I broke him, Mom. I broke him. A year and a half and I''ve never seen him that insecure before... I... I caused damage, Mom. I could see it... in his eyes. He was just- and I just-"


    She saw the gears in her mother''s head turn, trying to compute a different response. "Well, what do you think you can do to fix it?"


    "Nothing. That''s the whole point. I ruined it all, and there''s nothing I can do. I don''t get to redo it, or do anything about it after."


    "I don''t think that''s true. What about an apology?"


    "As if he''s the forgiving type."


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    "Well, if you know what he''s insecure about, maybe you''ll know what he can do to fix that, and then you can subtly help him do so?"


    "So I secretly become his shrink?"


    Her mother nodded.


    "Ew. I don''t owe him that."


    "Don''t you? I thought you said this was your fault."


    "Well I-" She froze, running into a dead end. "Well- ugh- fine!"


    "How about Honey? Did you two make up?"


    "I guess..." Her mood lightened, revealing a slight smirk.


    "Good."


    "She bought me a dress... It''s all black, which according to her is my favourite colour- stupid."


    "Oh! You gonna wear it?"


    "Ew, no!"


    They binged movies for the rest of the afternoon until her mother''s phone came ringing. They exchanged a telepathic look, and headed to her bedroom. It''s time. They played rock-paper-scissors to decide who went first, and it seemed she won. Her mother set up the video call with a sigh, and gave him a stern warning before leaving.


    Sonia locked the door, and sat with her arms crossed, feeling a burst of adrenaline coarse through her veins. "Where is it?"


    "We''re gonna start with that huh?"


    "Yup. Before anything."


    "Fine, then here you go." The dad held up a coloured chip, with the label ''2 year'' on it. "Good enough?"


    "I have a 20 year chip, so you know... one-tenth good I guess."


    "So you''re a saint for not drinking? How''s school?"


    Sonia went speechless.


    "Probably a good time for you to get off the high-road. What are you doing everyday? How are you still failing?"


    "I don''t know."


    "Then find out! Study! Grades are important. I don''t want you to get expelled."


    Chills went down her spine. "Ok."


    "What''s so hard about IT anyway? It''s just computers! You use a computer everyday! Stop slacking and study already. What are you waiting for? You think a GPA of 4 comes down from the sky? 3 day delivery? If you don''t wanna fail, then put in the work!"


    Sonia exploded, "I am!"


    "Then why are you still failing?" Her Dad exploded too.


    "I don''t know! I don''t understand anything! I''m not the studying type!"


    "Type-type-type, stop giving me excuses! And if you don''t understand, just ask! You have teachers, friends, classmates, the entire Internet!"


    "I have no friends."


    "Ugh please. Spare me. Think about your future!"


    Sonia went speechless, searching for a response, and then she picked up a cue. "Because you did so well right? Just- rolling in money."


    "Yeah, it is! The-the house you live in, it''s all paid for by me."


    Sonia got up, then flicked every light switch on in an act of defiance. "If I left this on for the whole night, how much would that cost you?"


    "Stop messing around!"


    Sonia stayed rooted.


    "Turn it off!"


    "Make me!"


    Her Dad''s turn to go silent.


    And then they stopped for a long second, and flashed a devil''s grin at each other. "I shipped you something, did you get it?"


    "Uh huh, and what is it."


    "It''s a new phone. Your current one is from my generation. Keep up with the times."


    "I don''t need it."


    "Then give it to your mother!"


    "She doesn''t need one either."


    "Ok. Let''s see if you still need better wifi, more data coverage, and a subscription to a streaming service that only shows cult classic films."


    Sonia leaked a smile.


    "It¡¯s all silent films. Still need it? I can ask them to ship it back and I''ll just give it to a colleague."


    Sonia flushed her cheeks. "You think I''m gonna say no? You wasted money on it. Please, go on, buy me all the gifts you want. For my birthday I want your debit card."


    "And for mine I want a GPA of 4."


    They both chuckled a little.


    "They should make chips for GPA values and give one to you every semester."


    "I''d throw mine in the bin the moment I get it."


    "How''s your mother''s novel? You should read it, you know."


    "Ugh, I hate reading."


    "It''s a good book. Read a draft at least."


    "I already know all the details, she talks about it all the time."


    "Half of her work she''s too shy to even talk about. No confidence. Like you."


    "Well it''s hard to gain confidence when you''re a complete failure, unless of course you''re a narcissist."


    "Please. Failure and confidence are mutually exclusive. That''s one thing they never teach you in school."


    "Then where''d you learn that piece of wisdom from?" Sonia scoffed and rolled her eyes, seeing right through her father''s bold-face lie. Honey was a better liar than he was. How was she doing?


    "You don''t wanna listen, it''s up to you. How''s that pink-hair girl?"


    "Honey? What about her?"


    "Come on... I raised you, you think you can keep it from me?" He smiled painfully.


    "Oh, so you''re okay with it now?" She huffed.


    "Don''t dredge up the past, I''m sorry, okay?"


    "M...hm."


    "Girls are better anyway. Guys will only want to take advantage, especially guys around your age. Not me of course."


    "Guys only take advantage of pretty girls."


    "Exactly."


    She rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to smile to no avail, "She bought me a dress."


    "Show me."


    "Ok, hang on..." She went out and retrieved Honey''s gift, kept in mint condition inside her wardrobe, then returned.


    "Wear it."


    "No, ew! I hate dresses!"


    "You''re a girl, girls are supposed to wear dresses! If you don''t wear that dress no one will!"


    "No, I''m not wearing it."


    "Wear it!"


    "No."


    "Why not?"


    "I hate dresses."


    ''Wear it." He said more sternly.


    "No."


    "Great, this again."


    "What?"


    "You''re inside your head again." He wagged a finger at his head. "I''m not even talking to my daughter anymore."


    "How can I not be in it? It''s you know... my head. And this is who I am, deal with it!"


    Her Dad went silent for a while. "Well, I''m not saying don''t listen."


    "Huh?"


    "Are you really gonna let some voice in your head stop you from wearing a dress? It''s just a dress! It''s so stupid and pathetic if you don''t wear it over some stupid voice. I mean maybe if the dress was made out of cotton and your skin is sensitive, but a voice? Sonia, a voice? Come on! Aren''t you better than that?"


    "Yeah, I am!"


    "Then stop listening to the stupid voice and wear the dress!"


    "Ok, fine!" She stated, running into her mother''s bathroom to change.


    "Do a spin."


    Sonia obliged, grumbling curses under her breath. The fabric waxed her skin in silky comfort.


    "Good. You didn''t let something as stupid as a voice stop you."


    "Yeah. They''re still there."


    "And that you can count on."


    A light bulb flashed in her head.


    "Whatever. Go get your mother now."


    "Ok. Bye."


    They looked at each other, unspoken words trapped in their throat. "Ok, go get your mother already, I don''t have all night little genius." He cleared his throat.


    "Yeah, I''m going Dad!" She exclaimed back. Unlocking the door, she exchanged a few words to her mother and retreated to her room.


    "How''d it go?" Her mother asked.


    "Good. The package was a new phone."


    "You look beautiful." Her mother said, hand caressing her naked shoulders. Her lips curled up wide on accident. "I thought you hated dresses."


    "Well, I guess I just hate the fact that I hate dresses more."


    She dozed off early that night, still comfortably wrapped in the silky dress which functioned better as pyjamas. With new-found motivation, she got to work on a new script the next morning.

 Hulk Smash!

    The winners were, in order, a heartwarming film about a dying grandfather, followed by an animated short of an astronaut on the moon, and finally a comedy short about dating life. ''Singing Doll'' wasn''t even mentioned anywhere on the website, speaking volumes about its horrendous reception. Sam found individual reviews for each film, and read through each of them with gritted teeth, envious of all the colourful praises they received. When he eventually got to the review for his film, he couldn''t even pass the first sentence, which commented on the tripod in frame; Sonia was right, again.


    He continued browsing obsessively, clicking through every link and tab to understand what he lacked, although he already knew the answer to that question, only wishing the experts would beg to differ; which they didn''t. The team behind the animated short had a team of ten highly skilled animators behind-the-scenes; the director of the dying grandfather got his entire extended family to chip in with the production, totaling a crew of almost twenty from what he gathered, whilst he only had two whiny incompetent girls to work with. Is it a surprise to anyone he lost? Everyone had a silver-spoon, everyone had miles of a headstart on the race, everyone was blessed by Lady Luck, and only he competed legitimately, thus becoming the legitimate loser everytime.


    If his father heard about this, he would chime in with his usual lecture about how luck didn''t exist, and how all he needed to do was to put his head down and work hard, as if he hadn''t done so for the past year. He would''ve easily won if he had animators behind the scenes, or his extended family of cousins helped him in production, but of course the universe wouldn''t spare him such luxuries. Time and time again, his family were the underdogs, and had to work twice as hard to reap half the rewards.


    He emailed his cousin one last time, venting his woes about the cruelty of fate and everything in between. His cousin only offered him empty words of encouragement, and dared share their woes of being wealthy. If not for their previous camaradiere, this would''ve burnt the bridge clean.


    **


    With nowhere left to turn, he treks across the country to meet his idol in person; Uncle Anthony, or Ant, for short. He and his father had a heated rivalry amongst them, constantly trying to undermine the other''s masculinity. Sam had to make this visit a secret, which wasn''t hard during his two-week suspension.


    He knocked on the door nervously, wondering if he even would answer considering his busy profession. To his relief, he did so with open arms, inviting him for tea with his second aunt. The two had no familial bond whatsoever.


    "Sam, it''s been so long! Why don''t you visit more often? Look how big you are now!" He stood beside him, comparing their heights, towering over him by one head.


    "Heh... yeah." He replied awkwardly.


    They caught up with embarrassing childhood stories that made his cheeks flush red, refilled their cups of tea, and drove off to spend quality time together. Only in the car could Sam finally steer the conversation towards his pressing troubles.


    "So... I came here... because I was suspended from school." He admitted.


    "What? What happened?"


    "And I can''t be the president of my film club anymore on top of that..."


    "Oh my god, what happened?"


    "I..." He hesitated on telling the truth. "I- I made a new short film and it didn''t win again! You told me this takes a while but it''s been a year! How am I supposed to make this work?" He cried out.


    "Sam, it takes more than a year before you can even find success with your films."


    "Well you didn''t tell me that last time! You just said it''ll happen one day! I don''t want to wait ten years before earning my first bit of success, that''s too late!"


    "Late? Late for what?"


    "Well... I want time to enjoy my success once I get it..."


    "What was your film about?"


    "Well, it''s about this ghost in the school that like died in an accident, and like she''s trying to find her friend and yeah... It was... rushed. We didn''t have time."


    "How many people is ''we''?"


    "Me, Sonia, Honey..."


    "The girl with the dyed hair?"


    "Yeah... she''s Honey."


    "Sam..." His uncle held in his laughter, "How could you possibly make a short film with only three people?"


    "Well no one else wanted to join us! I mean we had this new girl Erin, but she joined in pretty late and-"


    "Sam, you''ve seen me on set before, you know how crowded it is. How is it possible that you could make a short film with only three people?"


    "I mean, I knew it would be hard but-"


    "No, it would be impossible."


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    "Yeah. but if I just work hard and-"


    "Oh my god, don''t even say that word-" His bones rattled. "-it makes me so... mm!" He balled fists.


    "What? ''Work hard''?"


    "Hulk smash! I worked hard for this, I deserve it! My god, I swear-" He mumbled some curses under his breath.


    "What?" He found their rivalry bewildering, clueless as to what caused the rift to begin with.


    "Sam, you are not Superman, you can''t just... will things into existence, okay? No one can make a decent short film with a crew of three people, no one. Especially not under the tight time constraints of a film festival, it is literally impossible."


    "I know, but-"


    "Then why did you do it? If you knew it was impossible?"


    "I just thought if I just- I mean I know you don''t want me to say it but- I just thought I could if I just tried... I don''t know..."


    "See? No wonder you failed. You didn''t even know! You just went in thinking it would all fall in line simply because you what? Worked hard? Hard work is not- not- freaking- pixie dust, do you get that? Like if you cut off my finger, no amount of hard work will magically reattach it back, you know?"


    "I mean, that''s different! Plus, there''s like surgery and-"


    "Sam, hard work isn''t magic. Your film failed because you bit off more than you can chew. If you want to actually make films, then set more realistic expectations."


    "Ok... well what if in the middle of the film something bad happens- like someone just... disagrees with everything you say and like... do their own thing."


    "Well then learn how to resolve conflicts, but if it''s too much then just cut your losses and abandon it."


    "You mean give up?" Sam felt personal offence.


    "There''s nothing wrong with that, better than digging your own grave!" His Uncle flared up, and parked the car. The two went to eat at what his Uncle swore to serve the best chicken rice in all of the country. Sam doubted his tastes in food.


    "So... what''s the plan now?" His Uncle asked. "How long is your suspension?"


    "Two weeks."


    "Ok, good, not too long."


    "Yeah."


    "So what''s the plan? Once your two weeks are over?"


    "I''m not even the president anymore, so does it matter what I think?"


    "Well, sounds like the club is at a dead end..."


    "Yeah..."


    "Maybe you could try to start something else?"


    "What! I''m not giving the club up! I made it! This is my club! I made it! I signed the form, and I talked to Ms Eva! It''s mine! I''m supposed to be president! I''m not giving up until I get it back!"


    "It is scary how much you sound like your father sometimes."


    "What?"


    "Sam, why does it matter if it''s yours or not? You can start another club, or just make your films outside of school! Why keep beating a dead horse? What, because you raised it? And gave it a name?"


    "Well then what else can I do? I''ve tried so many things! I''ve tried my stupid country eraser thing in secondary school, I joined a business course, I started a film club to be like you, I did well on all my exams, what else can I try? What? Like... starting a business or something?"


    "Yeah. Maybe. Or you could make another film? I''ll help."


    "Eh..." He shrugged. "I don''t know... I think I''m done... making films."


    "Oh, really?"


    "It''s not working! So much work for nothing! It''s not sustainable. This isn''t the way."


    "No matter what route you take, it would always take time before you see the results Sam."


    "But didn''t you just say hard work isn''t magic-" He waved his hands tauntingly, "Now I have to work hard and wait?"


    "I''m not saying don''t work hard, I''m saying work hard at the right thing so your time is worth it."


    "Then how do I know what''s the right thing!"


    His Uncle drew a blank.


    Sam groaned in frustration. "Whatever it is, all I know is I''m done with film. I hate it."


    "Ha-ha, ouch." He patted Sam on the shoulder, "Just keep trying, and one day something will go through."


    "Yeah, hopefully."


    They finished their food and drove off. At their next stop, they played a round of laser tag and a round of darts, tying their victories one-to-one, and had what his Uncle claimed to be the best fish and chips for dinner, which he doubted once again. His uncle was woefully wrong with the chicken rice once already.


    "Why do you hate my dad so much?" Sam decided to finally open this can of worms.


    "He did something terrible when we were in our 20s, something he''s somehow too stubborn to apologise for."


    "What was it?"


    His Uncle flashed a devil''s grin, ready to assassinate his father''s character mercilessly, "He got himself discharged from the military because he thought he ''deserved better''"


    "Huh?"


    "Oh you''re gonna have a field day listening to this. One time, he was like doing drills in the afternoon, typical army stuff, you''ll have to do it too, and the sun was hot, and so your genius father thought he should be entitled to not do the exercise because of it. He went to his sergeant, and had the audacity to shout at him in front of the entire platoon, like he transformed into the Hulk somehow, I heard he even laid hands on his sergeant! Hulk smash! The weather is so hot, I shouldn''t have to do drills under this weather, I''m the best in the platoon, rawr! Stupid..." He looked away, taking a sip of his drink, "-and then he got discharged a week later. And that is why he can''t hold down a job even if his life depends on it! All because he thought he deserved better."


    "Oh..." Sam felt disillusioned. The rosy image of his heroic father came crumbling down.


    "Yeah. It''s so- just so-" He tried to shatter the glass of his beverage with telekinesis, "- and it now affects him, for the rest of his life! And I told him, over and over and over again, just freaking suck it up dude! You can''t win against your sergeant, they have home field advantage! But no, he didn''t listen, of course he didn''t, why would he? When does he ever listen, right Sam? Does he ever listen to you or your brother?"


    "N-"


    "Exactly! And now he pays the price everyday! And that is why he pays rent to Aunty Flower every month!"


    "Oh..."


    The conversation darkened, and Sam swallowed a huge ball of air.


    "Listen to me Sam, this is serious, okay? Don''t let your stupid pride lead you to do stupid things like your father, it''s not worth it. Some people in life just suck, but sometimes you just gotta take it, okay? Pick battles only you can win, otherwise you''ll live your whole life a loser."


    Sam found his advice oddly enlightening. "Ok... I will. Thanks." He felt his skull expanding like a balloon.


    As if on cue, his fish and chips arrived. True to his suspicions, the fish and chips tasted mediocre, yet when he caught a glimpse of the bill the price indicated otherwise. Confused, he took a bite past feeling full, questioning his own taste buds, before confirming its mediocre taste for the second time. The two had a rematch at darts for the tie-breaker, and he won by a hair, scoring a bullseye with his last shot. Feeling completely wiped out, his Uncle sent him home and bid him farewell.


    He entered with a beaming smile, only for the presence of his father to shut it down. "Where were you today?" He thundered.


    "Uh... at home, why?"


    "Then why didn''t you pick Joe up?" Cold sweat broke out, how did he forget?


    "You were at his place, weren''t you?"


    "Wh-"


    "Your Uncle''s! That good-for-nothing leech!"


    "No..."


    "He''s trying to pit you against me again!"


    "What? No!"


    "You know what, the next time you buddy up with him, which I know won''t be long, invite him over for dinner. Put his money where his mouth is!" He growled.


    Sam rolled his eyes, now understanding the Hulk analogy his Uncle used, "What? All because you''re salty over acting like a dumb Hulk during your army days? Psh." He found less and less resistance against speaking out against his father after their vicious fight.


    Before his father could retaliate, his mother intercepted the raging bull, guiding it back to its pen and offering him dagger eyes. Sam only cared about Joe, apologising for his carelessness and promising to bring him along next time. Joe forgave him with a hint of disappointment in his tone.

 Raft

    She moaned like a zombie throughout the entire day, which felt like a second to her, abruptly teleporting to different places at random intervals. Before she could figure out she was at the canteen eating a sandwich, she found herself back in class being scolded for bringing in said sandwich despite the signs outside the door warning against it. And then she saw Erin sitting in front of her, scrolling through her phone whilst drinking bubble tea.


    ¡°So, what now? I¡¯ve posted the film online like you asked. Do we need to promote it? Or something?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Like, advertise that, ¡®Hey! We got a new film!¡¯, you know?¡±


    ¡°No, they¡¯d hate that, everyone hates the film club.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, otherwise we¡¯d have more people signing up.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never heard anyone talk about the film club before. At least not in my class.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s the problem.¡±


    ¡°Wait, huh? I¡¯m confused. So is the problem that everyone hates the club, like you guys got a bad reputation, or is the problem that you guys have no reputation whatsoever?¡±


    ¡°I- uh- huh?¡± She had never thought of it like that. The two were mutually exclusive problems.


    ¡°Well, if it¡¯s the issue of no reputation then we just gotta promote ¡®Singing Doll¡¯, and I got some ideas.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Sonia yawned in lethargy.


    ¡°I mean, maybe we can just like- do what the Drama Club does and charge tickets and stuff.¡±


    ¡°But no one would come.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°Or maybe instead of charging them we give them something, like free pizza, for coming?¡±


    They both lock eyes with light bulbs above their heads.


    **


    Erin did most of the work setting up the event, while she had shifts to work. Honey seemed to be on a streak, acting like a genuine person for the first time in her life. She no longer spoke in her barbie-voice towards the customers, or sneakily sat down whenever the manager retreated into his office. She, more than anyone, welcomed the change.


    ¡°Drink.¡± She offered her a cup of water.


    Honey accepted it kindly.


    ¡°You¡¯re different.¡±


    She shot her eyes wide, as if to say ¡®glad you noticed.¡¯


    ¡°I like it.¡± She meant it genuinely, which caused the girl to choke on water, spitting it back out reflexively in a violent cough. ¡°Woah, you okay?¡±


    ¡°Y-¡± She continued coughing. ¡°-yeah. I¡¯m fine. It¡¯s just¡­this is the first time you¡¯ve complimented me.¡± Her smile was infectious, and her words stuck like glue. Honey seemed almost different now despite looking the same, as if she had taken on a new context entirely. Sonia found her eyes fleeting towards her constantly during work, and everytime the two made physical contact, she felt butterflies in her stomach.


    She spent most of the sessions rotating between functioning on auto-pilot and experiencing a low-grade dread. Her face lost considerable colour, provoking Erin¡¯s concern. ¡°Are you okay? Didn¡¯t sleep well last night?¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡± Sonia would reply, offering a scratch of the truth. Her insomnia worsened over the past week, as she stayed up all night pondering the new responsibilities now placed on her shoulder. Truth to be told, she always envied Sam¡¯s position as the leader and always dreamt of all the improvements and progress she¡¯d make if given the chance. Now, with the chance right before her, she was worried sick her sheer incompetence would drive this club into the dirt. How would she manage the production of an entire film if she couldn¡¯t even give Sam a comment without arguing? How would she even deal with him once his suspension was over? Why did Honey stop showing up to sessions, and avoided the subject everytime she brought it up? What if the premiere was a success, and a bunch of students signed up, or worse, if none did?


    She growled at those thoughts, scaring it away with her grit. Like her father advised, she wasn¡¯t going to let those voices stop her.


    ¡°Ok, I think this is it.¡± Erin said, snapping her out of her trance. ¡°I already ordered the pizza, now we just gotta wait to see if anyone would show up. Sonia?¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ yeah, thanks for your help.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s going on with you?¡± She inched closer.


    ¡°Nothing, I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°You can talk to me, you know? I feel like we¡¯ve gotten a bit closer over the past few days, you know?¡± Soniia hadn¡¯t considered her as a friend, or anyone with the exception of Honey, but that might change today.


    ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ I¡¯m the leader now. And I¡¯m in charge of everything¡­ and I¡¯m gonna screw it up.¡±


    ¡°No you won¡¯t! You¡¯re a great leader!¡± Erin sounded like her mother. ¡°And you don¡¯t have to do it alone. Weren¡¯t you co-leader with Sam before?¡±


    ¡°What? No.¡±


    ¡°Wait, really? Oh, my bad.¡±


    ¡°Why would you assume that?¡±


    ¡°You two are always discussing everything, so I thought you two were like number one and number two.¡±


    Sonia raised an eyebrow, finding the observation intriguing. ¡°Oh sh- what date is it?¡±


    ¡°20th, why?¡±


    She sighed, counting the days in her head. ¡°12¡­ 13¡­ 14. Oh no¡­¡±


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    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Sam returns today.¡±


    ¡°Oh, has it already been two weeks?¡±


    Her gut dropped, has it already been two weeks? What has she been doing all this time? Letting the voices consume her precious time? No! She protested, waking herself up from her fatigued slumber. With gusto, she prepared to face Sam head-on.


    **


    To her surprise, people actually showed up to the premiere, and everyone sat comfortably for the film with pizza in hand. She knew they were expecting a trainwreck, but that might factor into their enjoyment, oddly enough. It may be strategic to double-down on that label, rebranding the film¡¯s genre as comedy instead of a serious horror like Sam pompously intended. ¡°Call the film a comedy.¡± She whispered to Erin, then walked out for a quick trip to the toilet. Sam would be rearing his head anytime soon, unless the grief had consumed all his willpower.


    Sure enough, he arrived, with the most confused expression ever. Sonia took a deep breath, and materialised before him.


    ¡°What is this?¡± He asked.


    ¡°We¡¯re holding a premiere for ¡®Singing Doll¡¯, and there are actually people here.¡±


    ¡°But, but I didn¡¯t-¡±


    ¡°You know your punishment, Sam.¡±


    He grunted, swallowing a hard pill, the first of many to come.


    ¡°So? You got everything covered? You¡¯re the leader now? All of this was your hard work?¡±


    Sonia debated if she should go on the offensive. ¡°Yeah. But this was Erin¡¯s idea, so it was our hard work combined.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± She couldn¡¯t tell if he accepted it begrudgingly or sincerely. ¡°So what¡¯s my role in the club now, since I¡¯m not the leader anymore. Please, assign me.¡± Begrudgingly, it seems.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, okay? Camera? Since that¡¯s what you did last time.¡±


    This seemed to soften his posture. ¡°Ok.¡±


    The odour of the past stank up the present, creating a suffocating atmosphere. The two went dead silent, glancing at everything except each other.


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± He finally said after an insufferable minute.


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°I am like a loser.¡±


    ¡°What? Dude.¡±


    ¡°Everyone starts the race ahead of me man, I¡¯m destined to lose.¡±


    ¡°I was just saying that to be mean. And I¡¯m sorry for saying it.¡±


    ¡°Well, it was true.¡±


    ¡°Even if it was¡­ are you just gonna let that stop you?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Are you just gonna stop because you have a disadvantage? Aren¡¯t you stronger than that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m tired of giving 110% all the time. I think I¡¯m just done¡­ with the club and-¡±


    Erin came sprinting in excitement. ¡°Sonia, Sonia, Sonia- oh hi Sam, Sonia look!¡± In her hands were multiple forms for recruitment, all filled up with fresh names. Both their jaws hit the floor. ¡°It¡¯s like four¡­five¡­six! And there¡¯s still more! They¡¯re forming a queue!¡±


    ¡°They liked the film?¡± Sam asked.


    Erin nodded, ¡°They couldn¡¯t stop laughing.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s not a- nevermind. This- this is amazing! Oh my god!¡±


    The trio celebrated loudly for a moment, and Erin ran back to attend to the audience. Sonia quickly tagged along too, ¡°Well, you coming?¡± She asked Sam.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± He caught up with her and they spent the rest of the day passing out forms and collecting filled up ones. By the end, they had about fifteen in their hands, which by Sam¡¯s unneeded calculations, added up to a functional film crew. The club now had the manpower required to make films with actual production quality, and all of that rested on Sonia. The voices came whispering back, ceasing her joy for a moment, but she pushed them aside, looking to their future prospects.


    ¡°So, since we have an entire crew, we can actually stand a chance for film festivals! I found this one-¡± Sam got cut off abruptly.


    ¡°-actually I don¡¯t want to do another film festival.¡± Sonia said.


    ¡°Yeah well, I wanna, and I¡¯m¡­¡± He froze. ¡°And I¡¯m¡­ suggesting we should since we have a crew now¡­¡± And trailed off.


    ¡°We¡¯re not doing competitions. We can¡¯t produce anything good under a time limit.¡± Sam grumbled, which signalled a red flag to her. ¡°We can just grow a following in school and maybe online if enough people like our stuff. Going viral is still a success Sam.¡±


    ¡°But we don¡¯t earn anything from it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, because money¡¯s not the point. This is a school club. We¡¯re here to make films and have fun, not make money.¡± Everyone froze. ¡°If we actually go viral we could maybe find a way to monetize, I don¡¯t know, but for now, there¡¯s no way we can earn from this.¡±


    Sam looked unconvinced.


    ¡°Now we can just work on coming up with something new to film. So¡­¡± She checked the time. ¡°Um¡­ bye? Dismissed? I have to get home.¡± Everyone went their separate way home. On the bus ride, she had a smirk she couldn¡¯t wipe off.


    **


    According to her, Honey had miraculously cured her insomnia, and was getting a healthy 8-hours of sleep every night, thus the absence of their midnight talks. Sonia found the news bittersweet, and had reasons to suspect her claim. But considering everything else she''s seen, her suspicions quickly melted away.


    For the first time, she found herself sitting before a word document, having to type up a script as opposed to some IT-related jargon or computer code. Being completely alien to the process, she went to her mother for help, who coincidentally was also writing.


    ¡°What¡¯s up little genius?¡±


    She scoffed. ¡°I need to¡­ write a script¡­ and I need help.¡±


    ¡°Come in!¡±


    Her mother explained at length her writing process, which made little sense to her, and droned on and on about her latest draft, lighting up at discussing the change of names or places or events. Sonia quickly zoned out, taking a strange detour to Honey¡¯s words towards her. What caused her to offer a sincere compliment for the first time, devoid of any sarcasm?


    ¡°Sonia, are you listening? What are you thinking about?¡±


    ¡°Huh, nothing.¡± Her cheeks said otherwise.


    ¡°Is it about Honey?¡±


    She had no reason to lie, ¡°She said something to me at work.¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s been doing very well so I told her I liked that and she said that was the first time I complimented her.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I see¡­¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s weird that like¡­ that¡¯s actually true. I¡¯ve never complimented her straight.¡±


    ¡°Why? Did you think you had complimented her before?¡±


    She nodded, ¡°I feel like I compliment her a lot¡­ there¡¯s a lot to compliment on.¡± She blushed again, then covered her face with a pillow, ¡°God, what am I saying? Ugh, why am I acting so weird right now? We were just having lunch and then all of a sudden I got nervous or something¡­¡± She laid down, turning away to face the wall.


    ¡°I think you know exactly what¡¯s going on, little genius. And I support it 100%.¡±


    ¡°Mom!¡±


    ¡°I mean¡­ it was bound to happen eventually.¡±


    ¡°Just help me with the script!¡±


    ¡°Well, ok, do you have any ideas, at all? Try drawing experiences from your life.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°Or try drawing inspiration from Charlie Chaplin!¡±


    ¡°Ok, thanks Mom.¡±


    At the stroke of midnight, whilst the creative juices ran high, she figured it out. Eagerly, she told Erin and Sam the next day, one session before all the new students would start pouring in. ¡°So, I have an idea for what we¡¯re gonna film. It¡¯s gonna be a comedy, there¡¯s gonna be slapstick, and it¡¯s gonna be about the story of four survivors on an island who have to try and work together to build a raft in order to escape, or something¡­ that¡¯s the basic idea. What do you think?¡± The two of them seemed impressed with her breakthrough, and greenlit it with a thumbs up.

 Fifty Cents

    On his way to the club, he saw Sonia and Ms Eva conversing in the hallway. Quickly, he hid behind a wall and craned his ears forward. He heard Ms Eva sing praise to her, commending her achievement which she described as ¡®unbelievable¡¯. Ludicrous, he thought, wondering what Sonia did that deserved such admiration. It made his blood boil, puffing steam out of his ears as he continued listening. Ms Eva continued congratulating her, and Sonia¡¯s ego visibly expanded in her eyes. The last line spoken would seal the deal, forcing him to fight back for his rightful position, ¡°If I knew you were able to do this¡­ I would¡¯ve put you in charge from day one instead of Sam.¡±


    It was now or never, he stormed towards her, and just before he could utter a word, he was stunned beyond belief. Feeling the saliva in his mouth, he read the words on the board. ¡°Total amount earned: $0.50.¡± He quickly sat back down, eyes glued to the poorly drawn dollar sign.


    ¡°So ¡­¡± She started. ¡°We actually earned money from the release of ¡®Singing Doll¡¯!¡±


    Everyone clapped in confusion.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Erin, you wanna explain the miracle you did?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Me? Uh¡­ ok! So basically, I found a way to earn money from showing advertisements before the video¡­ uh the film plays, does that make sense? And so everytime someone clicks on our film and watches it, we earn like¡­ very little. It¡¯s like a few cents per thousand clicks and right now we¡¯ve earned a total of fifty cents.¡±


    Whether Sam wanted to scream out of joy or anger remained unclear. His eyes tried to break free from their sockets, like homing missiles propelling towards its target to meet their demise. He crossed his arms and shook his head a little. Who knew, the one time he gained success, he wasn¡¯t allowed to have it.


    ¡°So¡­ uh- thank you Erin, for your miracle. She¡¯s amazing.¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡± Erin blushed.


    ¡°Ok, so now that the script is finished we can start pre-production. I managed to rent the classroom next door for us to film. So all we need now is to build a set of an island, and we¡¯re gonna figure out how in the hell we¡¯re gonna do that.¡±


    As usual, disorganisation ran rampant, with most students doing nothing whatsoever except scrolling through their phones or chatting with Honey. Sonia had also mysteriously vanished from sight, probably called away by Ms Eva for more praise. He grumbled to himself, mumbling his many grievances to no one, which caught the attention of someone nearby.


    ¡°She really is annoying huh? Glad I¡¯m not the only one.¡± He introduced himself as Bryan, and gave him a firm handshake.


    ¡°Which course are you from?¡± Sam asked.


    ¡°Supply Chain Logistics, you?¡±


    ¡°Business Management. I¡¯m Sam by the way, the previous leader of this club.¡±


    ¡°Woah, what happened?¡±


    ¡°I did something dumb, and got my title stripped away.¡±


    ¡°Ouch! Bet you regret it a lot, huh? What¡¯s your role now?¡±


    ¡°Cameraman.¡±


    ¡°Cool, I¡¯m part of the cast.¡±


    ¡°Oh cool.¡±


    ¡°Sonia stole fifty cents from me.¡±


    ¡°Ha-ha! Aren¡¯t you salty?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, if it¡¯s any consolation, I don¡¯t want her to lead either..¡±


    ¡°Hm! Thanks.¡±


    ¡°But maybe like talk to her, since you two like actually know each other. You know?¡±


    ¡°I guess.¡± Good idea, he thought.


    Once Sonia returned, he took his chance, leading her to the next classroom for a conversation. Airflow came to a gridlock once the door closed, stuffing the two in humidity.


    ¡°Whatt?¡± She snapped.


    ¡°I-¡±


    ¡°Let me guess, the fifty cents? Here, have it.¡± She tossed a coin to him.


    ¡°No, I just-¡± It seems he had already gotten what he asked for. ¡°-I know I can¡¯t be the leader, but I deserve to do more than just handle the camera!¡±


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°I thought your main thing was handling the camera? What, do you hate it now?¡±


    ¡°No, but-¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, spit it out Sam, we both know what you¡¯re gonna say.¡±


    ¡°Fine!¡± He blew up. ¡°I deserve to earn that fifty cents, not you!¡± He tossed the coin back. ¡°I deserve to be leader, I don¡¯t care if I can¡¯t be, it¡¯s just a title, I can still be the leader while not being labelled it! I mean, it¡¯s not like Ms Eva will check or anything!¡±


    ¡°Hm, I wonder if you¡¯ll even be complaining if I didn¡¯t tell the club about the fifty cents. And by the way, it was Erin who figured out how we can earn money, not you. So by your logic shouldn¡¯t she be the leader?¡±


    ¡°I made this club, and you¡¯re the one who tore it down.¡±


    ¡°Oh? So it¡¯s my fault you can¡¯t be the leader?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the one who reported it! Honey would¡¯ve never reported it, and it wasn¡¯t even stalking! It was just some- some note-taking, which was wrong, but thanks to you always needing to protect her like you¡¯re her mom, they called it stalking! And gave me a punishment that¡¯s too severe.¡±


    ¡°Go complain to the discipline committee then! Stop using me as a punching bag.¡±


    ¡°I want to do more! I¡¯m sitting around doing nothing because you have no idea how to lead!¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Are you seriously asking that?¡±


    ¡°Yeah!¡±


    ¡°Just listen to how you talk, and imagine how long the club will last if you¡¯re in charge again.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, forget it. Just¡­ don¡¯t this again Sam. I¡¯m serious.¡±


    ¡°Or else?¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ just wow¡­ I- wow.¡± She fanned herself with her shirt and left. He slammed a table in rage and sent it flying across the floor.


    **


    He spent the rest of the day grumbling about Sonia with Bryan, who got another friend involved. It seems they weren¡¯t as alone as they thought. He cycled home with his chest puffed out, resisting Sonia¡¯s tyranny in stride. He picked Joe up in cold silence, forgetting to humour and play along with him.


    When his father returned home, his anger melted away in place of sheer confusion. Uncharacteristically, his father sat next to him, and for the first time, chatted him up.


    ¡°So how¡¯s school Sam?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s school today? How¡¯s business class going?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± He asked again, wary of his intentions. His father had been acting strange ever since he realised his brother¡¯s existence.


    ¡°What? Can¡¯t I ask how my son¡¯s day is going?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ ok.  My day is¡­ fine. I completed one of my projects today, I had to write up a report on-¡±


    ¡°So remember what you said to me when I realised you met your Uncle? About NS?¡±


    His intentions were as clear as day now.


    ¡°Uh huh?¡± Sam asked, secretly rolling his eyes at his father¡¯s desperation. Strangely enough, it reminded him of his own behaviour this afternoon.


    ¡°What did he tell you about that, I¡¯m just curious.¡±


    ¡°I have school tomorrow Dad, I¡¯m gonna go off to bed now.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not scolding you Sam, relax.¡± His tone suggested otherwise.


    ¡°Ok. Joe, time for bed, let¡¯s-¡±


    ¡°My sergeant, when I was in the army, was¡­ a jerk.¡± Sam pondered if he bothered enough to listen. ¡°He never bothered to listen to us, even if what we had to say was important or an emergency¡­ once I- your grandma fell sick and I had to book out, but he wouldn¡¯t even listen and assumed I just wanted to slack¡­ anyway-¡± He spoke solemnly, which signalled to Sam he might not be lying.


    His father continued. ¡°I had a friend, a close friend, like you and that pink-hair girl, or the other one¡­ Sonia, right?¡± This was the first time his dad remembered Sonia¡¯s name. ¡°Anyway, he wasn¡¯t- he couldn¡¯t take heat¡­ very well, it was some kind of condition or just I don¡¯t know- or he just didn¡¯t exercise enough, anyway, one time we were doing drills, like normal¡­¡±


    Sam shuffled uncomfortably on the couch, tracing the patterns with his finger.


    ¡°The weather was insanely hot that day, like holy- you cannot imagine how hot it is having the sun shine in your eyes while wearing military clothes, anyway, my friend, he was getting dizzy because of the heat, and he wasn¡¯t the only one. And I was scared for his health, since he came close to passing out once, so I told the sergeant. He said no. I kept quiet for a bit, told him to exert less strength, and then I asked again. He said no. And by now his face was red hot, so things got serious. I told him again, but more seriously this time, I raised my voice, and so did he, because some people are just-¡± He swatted a curse away. ¡°And I screamed at him, and he finally listened and let my friend rest.¡± Sam could see water in his eyes, a hauntingly rare sight that sent shockwaves within.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what your Uncle told you, he only heard of it from the news. But¡­ yeah, whatever he told you, I¡¯m sure it wasn¡¯t this, but what I¡¯m saying is the truth, of what¡­ actually happened. So my point is, your Uncle is lying¡­ and¡­ don¡¯t ever give up¡­ and just let someone walk all over you because they¡¯re a little intimidating or fierce or whatever.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re strong.¡± Sam leaned back a little, crushed by the weight of his words. ¡°You¡¯re a strong man Sam, much stronger than the man I ever was. Don¡¯t¡­ let it go to waste. Got it?¡±


    ¡°Y-yeah.¡±


    He patted his shoulder, cleared his throat, and went upstairs. Sam stayed frozen for a full minute, processing whatever that just happened. And then, his north star came calling. This was his club. He argued with Ms Eva as respectfully as possible countless times to keep it from shutting down, he used his own camera because loaning school equipment proved to be too inconsistent, he bought green spray-paint, and painted his bedsheet bright green just so they had a green screen to work with. What the hell did Sonia ever do? Complain, complain, complain.


    He needed to save his own club from her hands, before she ruined it beyond repair. Fifty cents spoke nothing of her competency, and furthermore, it was Erin who implemented it. He would object less to Erin as leader.

 Scene 1

    ¡°Scene one, take one¡­ and action!¡± Sonia shouted at the top of her lungs. Finally, Honey no longer needed to listen to her nag about rehearsing lines for the millionth time. She delivered her peak performance, practised until she was sick of it, and then Sonia yelled ¡°Cut!¡± Did she prefer Sam to be directing during acting?


    And then for some reason she decided to take a trip to the toilet, asking Erin to take over. This odd habit always confused everyone, and most have concluded she simply used it as an excuse to slack off. Everytime she returned, her eyes looked sore, and if not for Erin taking over, she would¡¯ve abandoned her post to chase after her.


    For some reason, today seemed more dire than usual, and rather than pushing it out of her mind, she walked off the set despite Erin¡¯s increasingly impatient commands. ¡°Hey, are you free later?¡± Bryan asked. A mild-mannered student amongst the cast that she befriended; the rare few who actually appreciated her acting in  ¡®Singing Doll¡¯. To her dismay, most who¡¯ve watched it didn¡¯t come fawning all over her like paparazzi.


    She went to the most obvious spot first, the girl¡¯s toilet, and surprisingly did not find her there. Now she grew truly worried. She walked down the hallways, calling her name. ¡°Sonia¡­Sonia!¡± No response. All the classrooms on this floor were deserted, and she entered each one to check. The stuffy air made for a chilling atmosphere, reminding her of the production of ¡®Singing Doll¡¯. Everyone else had to hide inside these classrooms to ensure they didn''t get caught in the frame during filming.


    The first two were empty, but when she reached for the third door, something pushed against it. ¡°Sonia?¡± She pushed again, catching a glimpse of her skin. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± The door won¡¯t budge, blocked by the sulking director. ¡°Can you move?¡±


    Finally, after a few minutes of pushing, the door swung open. She saw her sitting by the wall, staring into nothing. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±


    ¡°Go away.¡± She answered like a robot.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Go away!¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Honey sat beside her, and felt a sharp jab on her shoulder. ¡°Ow! What!¡±


    ¡°Go back. We have scenes to film, if you just keep sitting here we¡¯ll never get this done!¡±


    ¡°Nothing can get done without you there, you¡¯re the leader.¡±


    ¡°I know! You don¡¯t have to tell me!¡±


    Honey got taken aback, and slowly understood the source of her troubles. ¡°What needs to be done? Besides filming? What other stuff do we still need to do?¡±


    ¡°A lot, okay? Sam¡¯s storyboard is stupid so we need a new one, and the idiot didn¡¯t even make a shot-list to go with it! And the script still needs revisions, there¡¯s still a major plot hole at the ending! And just tying planks of wood together doesn¡¯t make for a raft whatsoever, and why did I think making the background a green-screen was a good idea? Who could even make that believable? What am I doing? I literally messed it all up, but it¡¯s been months and I can¡¯t possibly restart now otherwise everyone will lose their minds! And they already hate me for some reason, and then Sam is still being sour and I don¡¯t know how to keep him away from you so you won¡¯t get anxious¡­¡± She covered her face and sniffed.


    ¡°What¡­ You¡¯re trying to keep Sam away from me?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to get scared again. I¡¯m trying to protect you!¡±


    Her heart split into two. ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    She sat with her for a few more minutes before guiding her to wash her face and making their grand return. They could see Erin balding over both their absences as she frantically apologised and asked a million questions about the two.


    **


    Honey kept a closer eye on Sonia now, trying to spot any red flags as she acted her lines, which ironically pushed Sonia towards them. ¡°Cut! Honey, stop looking at the camera!¡±


    ¡°Sorry, sorry.¡±


    ¡°Back to one!¡±


    She rubbed her fingers together, stumped on what to do with her, besides delivering her lines to absolute perfection so she needn''t retake the scene. The other members of the crew had a different attitude however, rolling their eyes and groaning exhaustively at her commands. Morale plummeted.


    After they¡¯ve wrapped for the day, Honey made the spontaneous suggestion to stop over at her place for dinner. She vehemently disagreed.


    ¡°No!¡±


    ¡°Why? I love your mom¡¯s food.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not coming to my house. Why do you even want to come to my house all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°I want to keep an eye on you. You look off recently.¡±


    ¡°I always look off.¡±


    ¡°Well you look off-off.¡±


    ¡°What does that even mean? And since when did you get so good at reading me.¡±


    The cab stopped at her place, and Sonia stepped out. Honey did so too despite her wishes, and the two had a catfight outside until Sonia¡¯s mother interrupted.


    ¡°Honey! Long time no see! How are you!¡±


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Hi Ms Kristen! I¡¯m doing great!¡±


    ¡°Jeans?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°What brings you here today?¡±


    ¡°Can I have dinner here? Sorry to trouble you-¡±


    ¡°Sure, in fact I wished you had dinner here more often.


    Honey stuck her tongue out, gaining a victory over Sonia¡¯s stubbornness.


    They finished their plate of pasta, and Sonia immediately disappeared into her room, ¡°There, you ate dinner, bye.¡±


    Honey disagreed, staying to help do the dishes.


    ¡°Why are you here today?¡± Her mother asked. ¡°Did something happen in school?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not looking good¡­¡± Honey sighed.


    ¡°Yeah. Thanks for helping with the dishes, you¡¯re pretty responsible.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± She shook her head, swatting the compliment away. If only her mother knew half the things she did.


    ¡°Why not? Do you think you¡¯re irresponsible?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    ¡°What makes you think that?¡±


    She froze, unable to formulate an answer. ¡°I¡¯m gonna go check on her, bye!¡±


    She found Sonia wrapped under a cocoon of blankets in the midst of darkness. Flicking on the light switch, she immediately protested. ¡°Why are you in my room! Go away!¡±


    She drew a blank, unsure of how to get through to her. ¡°I¡¯m worried about you.¡± She felt repulsed by the utter mess in the room. Piles of clothes in the corner, table cluttered with stationary and other spare items. Dust can be seen collecting on top of the closets and cabinets. She didn¡¯t dare to look at the bathroom.


    ¡°Ew. Why?¡±


    ¡°Come on!¡± She stomped her foot in frustration. ¡°Just talk to me!¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t get it!¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re overwhelmed with becoming the leader, and I know you¡¯re being a complete perfectionist right now and driving yourself crazy.¡±


    She scoffed. ¡°Nice ten-out-of-ten analysis, let me guess, my mom briefed you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Turn off the light, I want to sleep!¡±


    ¡°As if you can sleep! It¡¯s not even 9 yet!¡±


    Honey sat on her bed, seeing the outline of her body on the blanket¡¯s surface. ¡°Move over.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Scooch to the side abit!¡±


    Sonia rolled her eyes and shifted herself.


    Honey pulled out her phone and started watching Charlie Chaplin. Five minutes later, Sonia popped her head out and watched along on the tiny screen. The two exchanged no words for the next hour, nothing but ragtime music from two generations ago filled the silence.


    **


    She continued barking orders at everyone the next day. ¡°Tripod in frame¡­ Sam!¡± She screamed at the top of her lungs.


    ¡°Ok, sorry, ma¡¯am.¡± He rolled his eyes.


    Contrary to her expectation, Sonia did not shut him down with a painful remark.


    ¡°Wait, cut, lighting issue.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± The lighting crew asked. ¡°Where?¡±


    Sonia continued chewing all of them out one by one, rubbing the side of her head with three fingers. ¡°Make it darker.¡± She requested.


    ¡°But it would be under-exposed on the camera.¡± Sam argued. ¡°Look.¡± Sonia looked at the camera, and reluctantly agreed.


    ¡°Actually where even is the light supposed to be casting from?¡± The crew asked. ¡°Where is the sun right now?¡±


    Sonia seemed stumped. Honey had been standing at her spot for the past five minutes so as to not disrupt anything  they rehearsed. ¡°Oh my god, I¡¯ll do it myself.¡±


    ¡°Sonia, no!¡± Honey blocked her. ¡°Look¡­¡± She spoke a little softer. ¡°Why don¡¯t you take a break now, okay? Come on, I¡¯m tired as well.¡±


    ¡°Go back to your position, I need to see if the shadows are casted properly.¡±


    ¡°We can fix it in post if it¡¯s wrong.¡±


    ¡°What? Do I look like Sam to you? We can¡¯t just ¡®fix it in post¡¯.¡±


    Sonia elbowed her away and walked across the set towards the lighting stand. It towered over her, but that didn¡¯t stop her from interfering.


    ¡°Dude, I can do it.¡± The student managing lighting complained to her.


    ¡°No, you can¡¯t. You don¡¯t get what I¡¯m going for.¡±


    ¡°Lower the stand if it¡¯s too tall, you¡¯ll trip.¡± Sonia ignored his advice, and he lowered it for her. The light blinded her and sent her tumbling back. Her foot got caught in a wire and she fell down. Honey raced to her rescue as the equipment started to topple like dominos, and everyone took three steps back. Sparks could be seen coming from one of the stands.


    ¡°I told you I could do it!¡± The lighting crew complained, shouting curses towards her.


    ¡°Whatever.¡± Sonia displayed her signature black face. Honey guided her out, but the crew got in their way.


    ¡°No, no, no, you¡¯re not disappearing now, not after destroying school property.¡±


    ¡°Leave her alone! She¡¯s stressed.¡± Honey defended.


    ¡°Stay out of this.¡±


    ¡°No!¡±


    Someone sprinted out to call for Ms. Eva.


    ¡°What are we gonna do now, you¡¯re lucky that didn¡¯t start a fire!¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s sorry, okay? It was an accident, just drop it Max.¡± In between her pointer and middle finger lay her house key, with its edge sticking out like a small knife. Her fists trembled like a leaf as he towered over her, dreading the second he turned aggressive.


    He gave Sonia dagger-eyes, then walked away. ¡°You¡¯re explaining it to Ms Eva.¡±

 Children

    ¡°I don¡¯t think Sonia should be leader.¡± He confidently announced to Ms Eva one afternoon. She stared at him in utter confusion, unsure of how to respond.


    ¡°Why do you think that Sam?¡±


    ¡°She damaged school equipment so carelessly! And is taking no responsibility in compensating for it!¡±


    ¡°What makes you think that? She is taking full responsibility for the damages.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s also been really difficult to work with, and it is damaging morale.¡±


    ¡°Thank you Sam, for your concerns. I¡¯ll take them into consideration, is there anything else?¡±


    He hesitated for a second. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    He prayed upon a wishing star that this would be the start of his grand return to his position. Now all he needed was the unanimous support of the club to seal his victory over her. The atmosphere in the club somehow grew tighter, with barely any words spoken except for Sonia¡¯s orders. Max handed in a form and bid his farewells yesterday.


    A few other students followed his lead and reported Sonia too about her incompetence, which finally sealed the deal for Ms Eva at the end of the week when she pulled Sonia away mid-filming for a talk. From her various expressions, he could tell things were going according to plan, until he saw her wipe a tear away. A pang of doubt cast over him, was he hurting her? But why would she be hurt, she never liked the film club at all to begin with, or at least not anymore.


    Ms Eva then came to brief everyone on the situation, indicating Sonia had personal matters that weighed her down, resulting in her difficult personality. Sam began to regret reporting her, but the other members would¡¯ve done so irregardless of him, and that would¡¯ve already been more than enough for Ms Eva to signal a change in leadership.


    ¡°I will be conducting interviews with all of you one by one to determine who would be the most suited to be the leader of the film club. Except you Sam, and you know why.¡±


    His rage returned in a split second, ¡°But that was so long ago, why is the punishment still in effect? I should be given a fair chance like everyone else to apply for leadership.¡±


    Ms Eva seemed to agree with his point, ¡°I¡¯ll discuss this with the discipline committee. But it would be best if you tell them what you think yourself.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± Surging with confidence at the first sign of victory, he had no problem tackling the discipline committee.


    **


    With increasing micro-aggressions from his father about his uncle, despite only meeting him for weekend lunches, his Uncle finally caved and dragged himself down for dinner. Sam relayed the story his father told him on the way there, which was met with a reaction less than positive, ¡°What B-S!¡± He laughed. ¡°Oh, what a hero, saving his mate from the sun. Sounds like the plot of a movie I¡¯ll never direct, don¡¯t listen to him Sam. He was just trying to protect his face and make himself sound like¡­ freaking Superman. If you knew him, you¡¯d know he isn¡¯t that great. It¡¯s all a show he put on for you and Joe to be some role model or something.¡±


    ¡°But he was like¡­ about to cry. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s lying. What actually happened? He said the army covered it up, so maybe what you read from the news was-¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t read it from the news, because I was there. We were in the same platoon. We were both doing drills that afternoon.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± His father sounded less and less credible with each passing day. ¡°Ok. Are you two just gonna argue with each other?¡±


    ¡°Depends on him.¡± His father answered the exact same thing when he asked the day before.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to fight in front of Joe. He¡¯s still young.¡±


    ¡°Me neither.¡±


    He groaned at the obvious lie. The two brothers couldn¡¯t wait to fight, flashing their devil¡¯s tooth at the mere thought of each other.


    They exchanged no words with each other, only giving a slight nod to acknowledge each other¡¯s existence. His Uncle wanted to bring the family out for dinner at a nearby restaurant, but his Dad simply wanted to eat takeout food at home. Immediately, the two were already in conflict.


    ¡°Ok, go take a shower and wear something nice, we¡¯re going out for dinner.¡± His Uncle said.


    ¡°What? Really?¡± Sam asked.


    ¡°Yeah, I made a reservation, if we leave now we can make it in time, let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°I already made dinner.¡± His Dad rebutted.


    His Uncle towered over the table of takeout boxes and offered a look of disgust, ¡°It¡¯s a Michelin star restaurant. Do you know what that means Joe?¡±


    ¡°What!¡± Joe asked, eyes sparkling with awe.


    ¡°It means they serve the best food in the world.¡±


    His Dad gave a piercing stare with lips curled, took a breath, and sat down. ¡°Time for dinner Joe, I got you your favourite, french fries!¡±


    ¡°Yay!¡± Joe cheered.


    ¡°Where¡¯s your vegetables Joe?¡± His Uncle asked.


    Joe pointed to the sad lump of coleslaw on the side. Sam avoided it like the plague, and his stomach churns at the thought of how carelessly it was prepared.


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk with your mouth full.¡± His father warned, pulling in his chair with unnecessary strength.


    They began eating in suffocating silence. His Uncle picks a french fry and examines it like a newly discovered chemical element. His eyes scanned the food, and he softly poked it with his fork, then cut it open to observe its interior.


    ¡°It¡¯s edible.¡± His Dad commented.


    His Uncle frowned in disagreement, and pushed it aside. ¡°Sam, you wanna go eat at the restaurant, we can still make it if we drive faster.¡±


    ¡°Sam, don¡¯t waste food, you¡¯re eating dinner here, you can go eat with him tomorrow.¡± As if.


    ¡°Really?¡± Sam folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. The childish rivalry ate up all his appetite. He sighed, wondering why the two would ever want to meet each other.


    ¡°Unless you want to reheat this and eat it for dinner tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t it spoil?¡± His Uncle asked, still hung up on the lumpy french fries.


    ¡°It takes three days before it spoils.¡± His Dad chomped on a spoon full of rice.


    ¡°Really? How do you know that?¡± His Uncle put down his fork and called for his attention. ¡°You know, your father is really smart, his head is filled with random bits of information like this, I mean- how does he know all this?¡±


    His Dad seemed like he wanted to respond, but decided not to. The kettle continued boiling.


    ¡°Hey Ash, remember that time you found a  reservoir where you can shower at for free?¡±


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    His Dad simply focused on his dinner, uninterested in his Uncle¡¯s petty insults. His Uncle snickered, mentally calculating which button he¡¯d push next. Joe finished his dinner, and ran off. Sam followed after, promising he would eat it for dinner tomorrow.


    His Uncle sat beside Sam, pretending to fight zombies with machine guns. His Dad sat on the couch, violently flipping a page of a newspaper. Sam sighed, pouring a cup of water for Joe. ¡°How are things between you and Jane?¡± His father asked.


    ¡°How are things between you and Rose?¡± His Uncle replied.


    ¡°Fine. You?¡±


    ¡°Fine. We had our anniversary yesterday.¡±


    His Dad chuckled, flipping another page. Sam wondered if he was even reading it.


    ¡°Pew! Bang bang bang bang!¡± Joe pointed a finger gun at his Uncle.


    ¡°Joe, do you know what NS is?¡±


    ¡°Army!¡±


    His Dad flinched a little, and Sam saw a glint in his Uncle¡¯s eyes. This spelled disaster to him.


    ¡°Do you know that you can actually hold real guns in the army? And shoot down targets!¡±


    ¡°Do I get to shoot zombies?¡±


    ¡°Well, targets are like zombies who don¡¯t move. So kind of! But, only the good boys in the army get to fire guns, so when you serve, remember to be a good cadet, okay? And always listen to your sergeant.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s a sergeant?¡±


    His Dad slammed his newspaper down.


    ¡°What?¡± His Uncle threw his hands up.


    He wagged his head in disappointment. ¡°Since you don¡¯t wanna eat dinner, you can go now.¡±


    ¡°Oh? But Sam said you wanted me here.¡±


    ¡°And you are, now you can go.¡±


    ¡°So you called me down just so I could¡­eat¡­?¡± His Uncle couldn¡¯t find the words to describe the horrendous quality of the food. Sam began to regret not bailing with his Uncle for Michelin-star food, if the reservation was real, that is.


    ¡°I called you down to see if you grew up.¡±


    ¡°Good one.¡±


    His Dad got up, and purposely bumped his knee against his Uncle¡¯s head. His Uncle¡¯s veins rose to the surface. Who¡¯s the pettier one amongst the two, he wondered? ¡°Oh yeah. One more question before you go. How¡¯s work going?¡±


    ¡°Good. I finished directing a film recently, you should watch it.¡± He nudged Sam¡¯s shoulder, which hurt more than he intended.


    ¡°Still on track to be promoted to director?¡±


    ¡°Wait¡­ what?¡± Sam lost all colour.


    ¡°He¡¯s an assistant director.¡±


    Sam craned his head towards his Uncle, ¡°But you said you¡¯re a director.¡±


    ¡°Sam, assistant director is still a big deal, I¡¯m number-two. I¡¯m basically the supervisor.¡±


    ¡°Do you make any of the creative decisions?¡± He drowned in adrenaline, fists surging with the urge to punch out a front tooth.


    ¡°Well, if I have an idea, I can tell the director through a meeting-¡±


    ¡°Oh! So you¡¯re just like Honey or Sonia? You just tell the director and beg that he approves your idea? You don¡¯t control anything?¡±


    ¡°I am still very important to the production Sam.¡±


    ¡°So you didn¡¯t direct all those films then?¡± In the corner of his eye, he saw his Dad grinning, but couldn¡¯t care less of it right now.


    ¡°I was a major-¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s not yours? None of it is yours? You basically did nothing! You¡¯re basically useless!¡±


    ¡°Sam, watch your tongue. Don¡¯t speak to your Uncle like that. You don¡¯t want him to Hulk out on you.¡± His Dad grinned wider.


    ¡°Oh, oh, I¡¯m the Hulk, interesting, interesting. Hey, how¡¯s your friend Ming doing?¡±


    Out of the blue, his father shot up, slamming the table in full force. Joe immediately ran upstairs for refuge, and Sam stood uncomfortably between them both. His Dad charges towards his Uncle and grabs him by the collar.


    ¡°Sam, Sam, look! Hulk smash! Hulk angry when Hulk thinks of Ming! Grr!¡± His Uncle continued pressing.


    His Dad said nothing.


    ¡°Go on, tell him what actually happened.¡±


    ¡°You only read it from the news, they covered up what actually happened.¡± Sam corrected.


    ¡°Is that what he told you?¡± His Uncle revealed devil fangs. ¡°So I¡¯m assuming Ming is healthy and safe right now, happily married to his wife right?¡±


    ¡°For someone who wasn''t there, you talk quite a lot about it.¡± His Dad said, turning the tables with one sentence.


    ¡°You said you were.¡± Sam said. Who lied to him?


    ¡°You lied to Sam? Oh, how could you.¡± His Dad said. ¡°What kind of role model are you setting for your- oh- nevermind.¡±


    ¡°He shouted at his sergeant and got his own buddy killed!¡± His Uncle barked.


    ¡°No! I saved him! He¡¯s still alive.¡±


    ¡°Not much of him remaining.¡±


    ¡°People change!¡±


    ¡°Clearly.¡± His Uncle rolled his eyes and shoved his father back. His father returned with a stronger shove, and his uncle retaliated with an even stronger shove.


    ¡°Get out of my house.¡± His Dad commanded. Sam could see fear in his Uncle¡¯s eyes as the rosy image of his idol came crumbling. Both of them were the furthest things from admirable now, and he wondered how he was duped by them for so long. Dumb idotic young Sam gobbling up all the lies the two fed him, believing all their heroic feats like believing propaganda. Being a descendant to them both, Sam worried how much of their ugliness polluted him, which made him think of Honey. ¡°Ugh.¡± He told himself, reflecting on his actions towards her once again. It reminded him of his disgusting father, and how he viewed everything as trophies.


    ¡°You¡¯re the one who punched your sergeant¡¯s front teeth out!¡± His Uncle shouted. He no longer cared about what they had to say, or to seek out the truth. ¡°Father of the year!¡±


    Did he really follow his father¡¯s footsteps? He treated Honey like a trophy, he treated ¡®Singing Doll¡¯ like a trophy, he treated the whole club like a trophy; a golden certificate that proves he¡¯s capable. What was he without it? The incessant shouting from the two children made his ears bleed.


    ¡°Keep this up and see if you can still get promoted.¡± His Dad fired.


    He got up, and headed to the bedroom to check on Joe. Joe sat by the bed, playing with his trains in silence; as opposed to the usual annoying volume. His mother laid fast asleep, and even she fell victim to Sam¡¯s disillusionment. She did the bare minimum a mother had to do to keep their children alive, and gave not a cent of effort more.


    ¡°Joe, how are you?¡± He sat next to him. Joe paid no attention, as if he wasn¡¯t even there. ¡°Joe!¡±


    He stayed silent.


    ¡°Joe, I¡¯m asking you a question!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m ok.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ good.¡±


    Awkward silence. All of a sudden, Sam had forgotten how to communicate with his brother. Where has he seen this before?


    ¡°Why are they fighting?¡± Joe asked out of the blue.


    Sam balled fists. ¡°Because they¡¯re children! Petty, whiny, f-¡± He took a deep breath, holding in the urge to swear. ¡°Stupid children.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re adults.¡±


    ¡°No, they¡¯re not. You¡¯re an adult, I¡¯m an adult, they¡¯re children.¡± He locked eyes with Joe. ¡°Don¡¯t listen to what they say from now on, whatever they tell you is just a big fat lie to make themselves look cool.¡±


    Joe tilted his head in thought. ¡°Then who do I listen to?¡±


    ¡°No one!¡± He exclaimed. ¡°No one. No one has anything good to say or advise. Everyone¡¯s stupid and petty, everyone is a crybaby.¡±


    ¡°But you said we were adults.¡±


    ¡°Everyone except us, is a whiny crybaby¡­¡± He looked to his mother. ¡°Or people who couldn¡¯t care less.¡±


    Joe fell more silent than usual.


    ¡°Just¡­ listen to¡­ listen to yourself.¡± Sam advised.

 Rubber Band

    The hum from the light panels vibrated her skull, which made it hard to focus on the bad news Ms Eva had to deliver. ¡°Sonia, are you listening?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± She wasn¡¯t. All she needed to know was that like Sam, her title as leader had been stripped from her thanks to her mishap.


    ¡°I would be conducting interviews of everyone in the club to find who would be more suitable to lead, but I just want to ask if you had any personal recommendations? You may not be the leader for long, but you get a say in who would be the leader after you.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°So, any recommendations? What about Erin? She actually came forward to defend you. I see you two next to each other all the time in sessions.¡±


    She nodded. Erin had every skill required to lead except for confidence. The club wouldn¡¯t get anywhere in her shy hands.


    ¡°Ok, anyone else?¡±


    Only now did she start to ponder the question seriously. ¡°Honey.¡±


    ¡°You two are friends right?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Ok. So Honey and Erin. Thanks for coming Sonia, and I hope things get better for you. Do you have any questions or anything else?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t let Sam become the leader.¡±


    ¡°Ok, may I ask why?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t trust him.¡±


    ¡°Ok, I just have to ask, what is it with you two? I thought you two started the club together.¡± Ms Eva switched from professional to personal mode. Oddly enough, Sonia found that more inviting.


    ¡°He hates me, because he thinks he deserves to be leader and I stole it away from him.¡±


    ¡°Hm, I see. But his title was removed because of what he did to Honey.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, exactly. He thinks they over-punished him, and that what he did wasn¡¯t stalking.¡± She rolled her eyes.


    ¡°I can see that makes you very frustrated. And how is Honey doing now? Has she recovered from the whole incident?¡±


    ¡°I think so. But definitely not 100%.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ they can stick with you for life. Stay safe Sonia.¡±


    She nodded and left the office.


    **


    Progress couldn¡¯t move any slower. After Ms Eva¡¯s announcement, everyone lost all respect for her authority, seeing her orders as optional. She had to give them all the breaks they requested or they¡¯d simply go on strike. The only one who listened was Honey and Erin, one doing her best to keep everyone in control and the other doing her best to not forget her lines. She missed the days when the club had less than ten members.


    As the sands in the hourglass began to run out, all she thought of was how this added one more ugly mark on her wall of failures. A mental visual she came up with sometime in primary school, the wall of failures was made of ugly concrete vandalised with scratches, each one indicating one failure she had made. Class tests, graded assignments, school projects, mid-year examinations and final-year examinations, all of it made her teachers combust into anger. Her mother would be called down over and over again until she befriended all the canteen vendors, listening to speech after speech about how her daughter was nothing but a miserable failure with no future prospects whatsoever. Of course, they all had flowery words and purple prose to beat around the bush as to not offend her mother, but the message couldn¡¯t be any clearer.


    Unlike her father, who had mountains upon mountains of paragraphs to speak in regards to his ¡®worries¡¯, her mother said nothing. No comments or judgements or criticisms or punishment, which she misinterpreted as the silent treatment for years until her mother proved otherwise. ¡°Why do I keep failing everything!¡± Sonia would ask over and over, and her mother would reply, ¡°Because you¡¯re different. You¡¯re not the studying type.¡± Whatever that meant.


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    No. She still had time to redeem herself. This wasn¡¯t going to end up a failure, she swore over her own mortality. ¡°Everyone, chop-chop! Since Sam is having his interview today, someone else will take over for the camera.¡±


    The crew laid about in blatant disrespect. ¡°Hey! Do you want to complete this film or not? You only have to endure me for a week or two, so endure it! Everyone gets into position! We¡¯re finishing filming before someone else takes over. Those that work in post, start editing all the current footage we have and show me your progress at the end of every session. Also, we¡¯re staying until night rather than ending in the afternoon, but I¡¯ll¡­ give you breaks, I swear. And if we can end early, we end early. So let¡¯s go!¡±


    Everyone groaned and complained.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you guys an hour-long break later. I promise.¡± This seemed to win some of them over, and production picked up speed again.


    Ironically, the added emphasis on her limited time in leadership earned her some obedience. She no longer cared about the tensions amongst them, and only set sights on the film¡¯s completion. Everyday, someone would be absent, off to explain why they¡¯d do a better job than her, and she¡¯d need someone else as a substitute.


    As promised, she gave them an hour-long break at 5, and ate dinner with Honey in the cafeteria, which alienated her. It rubbed her the wrong way to eat bland and revolting food for dinner at school, reminding her of her mother¡¯s cooking. Honey expressed similar sentiments, and the two resorted to junk food after a week.


    One improvement however was Honey¡¯s absence in her room. Thanks to the late dismissal, Honey no longer paid her bedroom a visit and went home straight, barely having enough time for herself to prepare for bed before her self-imposed bedtime. The two returned to their routine midnight calls, but even that grew tiresome as Honey barred any discussion about the club at this hour. Sonia would lower the volume and tune out her incessant ramblings whilst she sat on her bed, gears turning on how to speed up production of the final product. The editors did an adequate job cutting the footage together, but she always needed at least an hour to review their work and improve on its gaping flaws, and that significantly slowed things down.


    Filming went as fast as she could make it, reluctantly abandoning reshoots unless an actor forgot their line or their actions. By the end of the week, most of the scenes were filmed and sent to the editing room in the worst quality she¡¯d ever seen, but simply completing the film would be a victory for her.


    Through the week, she had expected the dam to break in five separate instances, but miraculously her eyes managed to hold the tears back. This was all she felt nowadays, and she couldn¡¯t care less. She couldn¡¯t care about showering, or eating, or brushing her teeth, and she definitely wouldn¡¯t care about her delayed period. In fact, she had forgotten the concept entirely, wrapped up in reviewing footage and debating herself against doing another take.


    ¡°Sonia, I think you should just dismiss them after the break.¡± Honey annoyingly requested.


    ¡°No, we are so close to finishing production. All we need is to film those last few scenes and we¡¯ll be done.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what you said yesterday, and the day before. It¡¯s not gonna be done today.¡±


    ¡°Not if I dismiss them early.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m tired, Sonia!¡± Honey exclaimed. ¡°I can¡¯t act for this long!¡±


    ¡°Take a nap then, there¡¯s still half-an-hour left until the break ends.¡±


    ¡°No, I can¡¯t do it anymore. My head is going to split! Dismiss them after the break, I won¡¯t be able to give a proper performance if you don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care, just give a performance. I¡¯m not gonna reshoot unless you forget your lines.¡±


    ¡°Stop doing this to yourself! What are you even trying to do?¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t get it.¡±


    ¡°I do¡­¡± Honey placed a hand on her shoulder, which cracked the dam. She thought the dam would break here, in front of her, but alas it did not. Was she immune to crying? Honey took a pause, tried to say something, and then decided not to.


    Sonia wanted the dam to break, and to unload the tangled web of frayed wires she called her head to her. ¡°I feel like¡­¡± She sniffled. ¡°Like everything is¡­¡± She gestured around her shoulders. ¡°Is on me.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t like school, you know? This won¡¯t be in a report card.¡±


    ¡°I know, I know, but- god- This isn¡¯t school, and if I also¡­ then¡­¡±


    ¡°No one thinks of you like that¡­ At least¡­ I never have.¡±


    ¡°Then what do you think of me?¡± She rubbed her warm eyes, feeling her nose choke up, physically preparing itself for tears.


    ¡°Please¡­ just go home after you¡¯re done¡­¡±


    She finished the packet of chips, tossed it into the bin, and returned back to set. ¡°Everyone, back to one¡­¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°We¡¯ll go home after we finish this scene.¡± That slowly became a mantra she used from then on, stretching the rubber band as far as she could before it snaps.

 Revenge Pt 1

    Both his Uncle and Dad were gravely disappointed in him, as they made sure to highlight, underline and circle. He was no longer invited to his Uncle¡¯s for mediocre plates of chicken rice, and his father¡¯s facade of compassion dropped, returning to his usual aloofness. The house returned to its cold silence, eliminating any warmth for connection.


    Even Joe took notice, weighed down by its effect for the first time. The way he played with his train set in silence haunted Sam, watching his brother¡¯s aura darken before his eyes. He knew this phenomenon well, experiencing it himself years before.


    He had to save Joe, before Joe became like him, racked with insecurity and desperately reaching out in complete silence. He sat next to him, trying to psych him up for another zombie invasion scenario, but that didn¡¯t seem to entice him whatsoever.


    ¡°Joe, look, I¡¯m a zombie¡­ rawr-¡± He imitated a zombie with more effort than ever before. It only induced a light chuckle. Joe continued to rock the train back and forth in monotony, his eyes coloured as black as death itself. Sam found himself shattered across the floor.


    His worst nightmare unfolds before his eyes as his father¡¯s venom combined with his slowly seeps onto Joe like a parasite, corrupting the host with ease. All of a sudden, Joe tosses the train aside, the plastic clacking across the carpet floor before sliding to the kitchen, then he dismantles the train set, and puts it aside. He climbs atop the couch and switches the television on, watching a soap opera mind-numbingly.


    ¡°Joe¡­ hey, you wanna go to the mall? Buy some new toys?¡±


    ¡°You said we were poor.¡±


    He wanted to slap himself for doing so.


    ¡°Well, we can still play with it for a while. Hm¡­ or how about¡­ the beach? You wanna go to the beach?¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah! I¡¯ll bring you this weekend! I promise.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I promise.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°I swear. I¡¯ll bring you to the beach, and you can see for yourself how salty the ocean is. We can build sandcastles!¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Really!¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± He dismissed, woefully distrustful of Sam¡¯s promise.


    ¡°For now, rawr- I¡¯ve infected you with the virus!¡± He tried again.


    ¡°Pew¡­ you died. The zombies lose.¡± Joe¡¯s lips flatlined.


    **


    ¡°So, I talked to the discipline committee, and we decided to kill two birds with one stone. You will get an interview, and you will have to show us why you deserve a second chance to become the leader of the club again, okay? I will be there, and a member from the discipline team will also be there.¡± Ms. Eva informed Sam. Her desk had photos of her wedding, where she looked nothing like herself in the present day. Her smile was as wide as the sun wrapped in her husband¡¯s arm, and he wondered if he could ever embrace any girl like that. Maybe he could, but they simply won¡¯t smile.


    ¡°Sam?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ ok, when¡¯s the- the interview?¡±


    ¡°In a week or so. We¡¯ll call you when it¡¯s your turn.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± Did Ms Eva have children? Was she a good mother to them?


    ¡°What¡¯re you looking at?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    Ms Eva turned to look at her own wedding photo, cracking a grin. ¡°You¡¯re still young Sam, you¡¯ll find someone someday. Okay?¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°Why did you do it Sam?¡± Ms Eva asked more informally. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, this isn¡¯t a part of the interview.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ oh¡­ uh- I just¡­ I wanted to find the perfect gift for her¡­¡± Her eyes threatened him.


    ¡°And what did you think would happen if you did find it? That she would take you on the spot?¡±


    He shrugged and gave a half-hearted nod.


    ¡°So you think she wouldn¡¯t like you if you didn¡¯t give her presents?¡±


    He nodded in embarrassment. Her white-coloured heels contrasted nicely against her dark skin.


    ¡°Why would anyone like someone who¡¯s so insecure of themselves?¡±


    He looked up, puzzled by her words. ¡°Uh¡­ I have to- class-¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ good luck Sam.¡±


    He nodded and gave her an awkward wave goodbye.


    That conversation happened a week ago, and as she promised, he found himself sitting before a panel of teachers. It reminded him of the game shows that aired in the mornings and midnights after all the soap operas had finished their course. He swallowed a ball of air, rehearsing his speech in his head, making mental edits at the last second. Forget it, he thought, he had no time.


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    ¡°So, you know why you¡¯re here, we know why you¡¯re here, let¡¯s cut to the chase.¡± The one from the discipline committee said, ¡°Why do you think you deserve a second chance at becoming the leader of the club again, after what you did.¡±


    He had practised for this. This was supposed to be a cake-walk by now. ¡°Because I have learnt from my mistakes and grown as a person, and I believe that everyone in the club should be given a chance to advocate themselves for the position of leader¡­¡± Air jammed his throat, sweat submerged his palms. He wished he had asked for a cup of water when the offer was made earlier. ¡°So, I think I should also be given that chance.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ how have you grown and changed since the last time you were here?¡±


    ¡°I have learnt to respect and take- more- to notice more- of others boundaries and to be careful to not cross them.¡±


    ¡°What does that mean? How did you notice boundaries more? Can you give us a few examples?¡±


    The curveball came faster than he expected, and he found himself woefully unprepared three questions in. He had approached this from the wrong angle. ¡°For example¡­ if someone doesn''t like to be touched, I won¡¯t touch them.¡±


    ¡°That was what you learnt from the incident with Honey, can you give another example?¡±


    ¡°Like¡­ when- you know-¡± He thought of all the terrible soap operas he grew up on. ¡°Like when a girl says ¡®no¡¯, it means ¡®no¡¯, and I shouldn¡¯t push any further.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± They seemed impressed by his answer, or was that just a product of his imagination.


    ¡°Is there anything else you¡¯ve learnt?¡±


    He had nothing else rehearsed, but he needed to say something. ¡°Girls¡­ are¡­¡± He played with his fingers. ¡°I have to be more¡­ careful¡­ with what¡­ I do¡­ and¡­ just because you like¡­ like- you- like getting a girlfriend isn¡¯t like- saving up money for a car or a house.¡±


    ¡°In what way is it not the same?¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t just¡­ work hard on it¡­ like doing extra-credit work for a project.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Anything else?¡±


    Now he felt safe to answer honestly, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°Can you tell me about the last time you were the leader? How did that go? Did you lead effectively, and if not, why?¡±


    ¡°When I was the leader before, I led the team effectively and managed to finish multiple projects, such as ¡®Singing Doll¡¯ and ¡®Blood Orange¡¯. I was a good team leader before, which is why I deserve to become team leader again.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Ms Eva asked.


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°What about you and Sonia?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You and Sonia both recounted that you had conflicts with each other before all this, can you elaborate more on that?¡±


    ¡°Well, me and Sonia just have very different opinions on the project and whatever¡­ It''s like just- creative differences.¡±


    ¡°And how did you manage to handle those disagreements?¡± Ms Eva started him down, as if to telepathically send a warning about lying.


    ¡°I managed it by¡­ listening to whatever she had to say and coming to a compromise that we¡¯re both happy with.¡±


    ¡°Could you give an example of this?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ like this one time, while we were filming ¡®Singing Doll¡¯, Sonia wanted the scene to be an establishing shot, but I thought it would be better as a close-up, so I ended up filming both and letting her choose which one looks better when she was editing.¡±


    ¡°No arguments or fights?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± Ms Eva seemed visibly disappointed. ¡°When I told Sonia about the interviews, I asked if she had anyone she would personally recommend for the next leader. She told me specifically to not allow you to become the next leader, could you explain to us why you think she might do that?¡±


    ¡°She what!¡± Sam blew up.


    ¡°Do you know why she might say that?¡±


    All of his rehearsing went out the window. He could already picture the scene, Sonia maniacally laughing in secret as she backstabbed his chances of redemption, hogging the undeserved throne for herself. She had received a lot of praise from everyone for her work on ¡®Singing Doll¡¯, despite the credits clearly stating he was the one who directed it. It must¡¯ve gone to her head, and now she had became so delusional as to think only she deserves the throne despite being so blatantly obvious she doesn¡¯t. What would his father advise him to do? Wait, he shouldn¡¯t heed his advice any longer, and thus he shall perform the exact opposite. His father would advise him to fight back tooth and nail, and prove unequivocally of Sonia¡¯s petty intentions. The opposite of that would be to go on the defensive and defuse her statement head-on.


    ¡°I have some theories as to why she might say that, but I will never know for sure, because I am not her.¡±


    ¡°What are your theories?¡±


    He needed to think of a smoking gun, fast. ¡°Perhaps she may¡¯ve been emotional at that moment, because that was the first she was hearing about her being replaced, I assume¡­ and I think her emotions may have led her to¡­ lash out.¡± What else was he supposed to say? None of these questions weren¡¯t on his radar, he was flying blind.


    ¡°So you think she mentioned that to lash out. Well if that¡¯s the case, why would she mention your name?¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t you ask that too if she said any other name? Bad luck¡­ I guess.¡± No such thing as luck, or so his father says. He gave an eye-roll to his father¡¯s philosophy on life. They shifted about in their seats, pupils analysing his body language for signs of a lie. He cleared his throat and straightened his back.


    ¡°Are you sure there are no specific reasons why she mentioned your name? She sounded quite serious when she said that to me.¡±


    ¡°Maybe, but I don¡¯t know about it.¡± He definitely did. He would snap her neck even at the mere sight of her shadow.


    They exchanged a flurry of looks, as if to double-check their evaluation with each other before laying it on him. Sam hoped for the best, but expected the worst. They turned to him, hands crossed with each other, and delivered the news. ¡°I¡¯m sorry Sam-¡± Sam didn¡¯t need to hear the rest, nor did he want to.


    ¡°...I hope you understand Sam.¡± They finally finished their paper-thin speech where they feigned kindness and compassion for him. He smiled with overwhelming strength, hydrating the cement in his jaw. Once they dismissed him, he marched towards the club with only one thought in mind, not advised by his father or uncle or anyone for that matter, but motivated purely by his razor-sharp instincts; revenge.

 Revenge Pt 2

    They used to have lunch together. ¡°What¡¯s your favourite movie?¡± He¡¯d ask her all sorts of questions, wishing to learn from her wisdom. He had never met someone so intelligent in his life.


    ¡°Charlie Chaplin¡¯s Modern Times, 1936.¡±


    ¡°Woah, in the silent film era?¡±


    ¡°Yup.¡± She took a bite from her bag of potato chips. ¡°I¡¯ve watched it a million times with my Mom.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you watch movies with your Mom?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s cool.¡± Has he ever done anything that intimate with his mother before? ¡°Why do you like it?¡±


    ¡°He was a classic in film history! He¡¯s- I mean- ah!¡± She yelped in excitement and giggled a little. ¡°-I don¡¯t even know how to like- put it into words, he¡¯s literally the most important figure in the history of film, right beside Alfred Hitchcock and like Quentin Tarantino! Like, you should know him, definitely, if you see literally any silent film it¡¯s him! Like, his character ¡®The Tramp¡¯ is literally world-famous! You know? The funny-looking guy with the wide moustache and the hat and the cane? He¡¯s like the Mr Bean before Mr Bean. I wish I can make films that are even half as funny as his, even if it¡¯s like one percent I¡¯ll die happy! Anyway, sorry, uh- what did you say?¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ you really love film history!¡± Is there any candidate more perfect for his new club?


    ¡°Yeah¡­Eee! By the way, where did you get that camera, the one you were using on the beach? It¡¯s like¡­¡± She put both her hands out, ¡°Industry standard. It¡¯s amazing.¡±


    ¡°My Uncle gave it to me.¡±


    ¡°Cool, what¡¯s your favourite movie?¡±


    ¡°I just watched Battleship recently, it¡¯s pretty good.¡±


    ¡°Ew! You¡¯re joking right? That film is pure trash. The director should be ashamed of himself.¡± She scoffed and rolled her eyes. ¡°If you do wanna make a film club, please tell me you¡¯re not gonna make cliche action films.¡±


    ¡°No¡­?¡±


    ¡°If you are, I¡¯m not joining. That¡¯s all I¡¯m gonna say.¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°Ok, then I won¡¯t, promise.¡±


    ¡°Also, if you want, we can watch movies together, since you didn¡¯t get to do that with your Mom.¡±


    ¡°What? What are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t compare my Mom to yours dude.¡±


    ¡°Wh- how did you know?¡±


    ¡°Your eyes looked away then you zoned out for a second.¡±


    ¡°Woah, you- woah, how¡¯d you- wow. Ok, cool! Do it again!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°How did you even do that? You¡¯re so smart! Do it again!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not mind-reading. And I can¡¯t do it all the time. Also I¡¯m not your monkey.¡±


    ¡°Oh, ok, sorry.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ fine. See that couple behind me? One table over.¡± Sam craned his head to identify them. They had their eyes laser-focused on each other, and their hands interlocked. If only he had that for himself.


    ¡°Uh huh?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re gonna break-up.¡±


    ¡°What? No way, they look so cute together! I wish I had a-¡±


    The girl stood up and walked away with hands over her face. The guy crossed his arms and tapped his foot, before leaving to chase after her. Sam was taken aback. ¡°Well played. But how do you do all this?¡±


    She shrugged, and finished the final chip in the bag. ¡°Gotta get back to class, IT makes me wanna kill myself.¡±


    **


    He bursts the door open the next day, and scans the room for Sonia. She stood on the stage, writing something on the board, and Sam charged towards her. No one else had come yet except for her, which he took as a sign of luck finally being on his side.


    Caught off-guard, Sonia finds herself pinned to the wall. She propelled her leg into his kneecap, and he fell back. Capping the marker she held in hand, she looked down on him in contempt. ¡°What? Is this you taking revenge?¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.¡°You bet it¡¯s revenge, how dare you tell Ms Eva to not pick me for leader!¡± He roared. Why is no one here? Sonia¡¯s eyes were blood red, and he could see her chest rising and falling through her jacket. She unzipped it, and tossed it to the side, crossing her arms.


    ¡°So? You¡¯re gonna beat me to feed your ego?¡±


    ¡°You beat me first!¡±


    ¡°I wonder how hung up you are on that.¡± She had the audacity to chuckle. No holding back now, he thought, despite wishing to retreat. Now or never.


    ¡°I deserve to be the leader! Not you! You don¡¯t know how to run this club, you didn¡¯t make it, I did! I came up with the idea, I pitched it to all the teachers who would listen, and I signed the form! My name is on that form, I deserve to be the leader, and you, you took that away from me. I know you always hated me okay, I know you always thought of how much better things would be if you were in charge, and you had your fun with your stupid fake-looking island set, deluding yourself into thinking you can make the green screen even a tad bit believable, and that you can run a ten-person crew, but it¡¯s clear, you can¡¯t lead! You can¡¯t do anything! You¡¯re useless, and you¡¯re driving my club into the dirt!¡±


    ¡°As if you can do any better than me! You with your whole it¡¯s-my-club attitude, no wonder no one joined until I took over. Yeah, I brought ten people in this rotting classroom and we¡¯re actually making a film in the next classroom. What the hell have you accomplished? ¡®Singing Doll¡¯? You think that film would be decent if I didn¡¯t lie and say it was a comedy, or better yet if I didn¡¯t constantly cover and call out your mistakes do you think you could even finish it? For god¡¯s sake, half the footage you send me are-¡± She clapped at the end of every syllable. ¡°Out-of-focus!¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t get to insult me, not like last time. You¡¯re not gonna make me cry again. And you¡¯re gonna shut up and listen. You literally disappear every session for an hour, to go where? You have no friends, Honey is still on set, and you have no life, you literally just leave to do what, I don¡¯t even know! Half the crew has nothing to do simply because they work in post or in pre-production, and everyone hates you! Everyone talks behind your back in the unofficial group chat, no one wants you as the leader!¡±


    ¡°What? You all have a group chat dedicated to talking smack about me?¡± She scoffed.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t the one who made it.¡± He expected a come-back, but instead she stayed silent. ¡°You don¡¯t deserve all this. And you definitely don¡¯t deserve to finish your stupid film!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not stupid, it¡¯s way better than whatever the hell ¡®Blood Orange¡¯ was supposed to be about, because I actually gave a crap when I wrote the script!¡±


    ¡°And you giving a crap means the story is good? Because you¡¯re such an amazing novelist like your mother? In fact, you¡¯d probably end up with a better script if you didn¡¯t give a crap. Every page of it is pure garbage.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so then you¡¯re saying that Charlie Chaplin is garbage, huh?¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know who- and you think you deserve to be- Oh my god¡­ please tell me you¡¯re making this up, please tell me you aren¡¯t this dumb! You want to run a film club despite giving zero craps about filmmaking as an art form? You just see it as a tool to get money, as you do everything else, you¡¯re literally so money-faced it¡¯s actually funny.¡±


    Sonia shakes her head and returns to her task beforehand. She puts her jacket back on, glances at a text on her phone, and picks the marker back up.


    Sam drew a blank. What he had was anger, not words. But what he needed to do didn¡¯t require words. He snuck out to the next classroom and began trashing the drapes of green-coloured sheets that idiot called a set. The bedsheets were all his, spray-painted with his own hands, now used to serve a bitter and pessimistic girl. He pulled the sheet off the rack, and crumpled it as much as he could before throwing it to the side.


    Sonia screamed. ¡°No!¡± She shoved him away, but Sam got back up, targeting the props next. ¡°No, don¡¯t you dare! It¡¯s my film! This is my work!¡±


    ¡°You¡­ don¡¯t deserve-¡± He kicked some of the fake sand away, ¡°-any of it! You deserve nothing! And even if you did, why work so hard to prevent a failure? Or, or did you actually think this garbage could be a good film?¡±


    ¡°Stop it! I¡¯ll break your ribs!¡±


    ¡°Good, can¡¯t wait to see how you¡¯ll explain that to Ms Eva!¡±


    ¡°As if you can explain laying hands on me to her any better!¡± She slapped him in the cheek.


    ¡°You did what?¡± A third voice asked. The two turned around to see Honey paralysed by the door, exactly where she was positioned last time. Tears started rolling. ¡°You did what?¡±


    Sam capitalised, and shoved Sonia away.


    ¡°Leave her alone!¡± Honey dropped her bag and struck him with something sharp. He saw a cut across his arm. Honey placed a hand out, standing between the cross-fire. She trembled harder than he saw anyone tremble before in his life. Choking on her breath, she could barely speak a word. Sonia got back up, and Sam only now paid serious attention to her red eyes. Has she been crying prior to his entrance? The two girls backed up until they felt the wall.


    ¡°S..s¡­s¡­st-go- go- g-g-g-g-go¡­ away!¡± She took a shaky breath, retrieving her voice slightly. ¡°F-first y-you touch me¡­ then you¡­ touch her? P-pervert.¡±


    ¡°She pinned me to the wall first!¡±


    ¡°W-where did he- t-touch you?¡±


    Sonia remained speechless. He had never seen her so defeated before, always picturing her as a dominating figure in his life. It haunted him. He looked to his feet, seeing a dirty footprint besmirching a green sheet, he looked around to see fake sand littered everywhere, giving the janitors hell to clean up, and he looked back at them. Both of them seem to be trembling in sync, waterfalls pouring out of their eyes. He had never seen Sonia cry, and he regretted ever wondering what that would look like. The sight of her crying was not a sight he could forget, not for a lifetime.


    He told himself after the fight between his Dad and his Uncle to never listen to them ever again, he swore to himself in Joe''s life he would root out all the poison they instilled in him, and two days later here he stood, traumatising the two of his dearest friends. He should¡¯ve listened to his gut earlier and retreated.


    ¡°I only touched her shoulder!¡± He defended, then left with a flurry of emotions. What did he just do?

 Uglier

    She held the key in between the pointer and middle finger, and stayed rooted by the door. She could feel her heart in her throat, and the walls hugged her. All she thought of was the last time this happened, where she also stood by the door frozen still.


    Being held back in class, she arrived a few minutes late, which proved to be the worst mistake of her life. Sonia had been in worse shape than ever as the interviews went on, and in a small effort to help, she completely tanked her interview to remove one candidate in the running.


    ¡°You did what?¡±  She asked again. And then, Sam did the unthinkable. A primal instinct took charge, overwhelming all fear and hesitation, and she came to her rescue. She placed a hand out, the other hand kept behind her back in a fist, ready to strike at any moment. All cognitive functions shut down.


    She must protect Sonia. Sonia is in danger, she needs to protect her. Sonia can¡¯t be hurt, she can¡¯t be in danger, she has to be safe. Back away, escape. She inches back, nudging Sonia with her. The girl was a dead battery, incapable of movement or thought.


    Honey barks, showing teeth and claws. She notices the cut on Sam¡¯s arm, and finds a small victory in it. Air escapes from her, and she tries to suppress the effects of suffocation as much as she can.


    ¡°I only touched her shoulder!¡± He finally left, telling a lie to save his thick skin. Her fist uncurled, and dropped the key to the floor.


    All of the air danced around her, but she inhaled none of it. Her joints went rock-solid, rooting itself in its current foetal position and resisting any further movements with primal neurological responses. She glanced at Sonia, and she seemed to be doing equally worse if not more.


    Sonia stayed frozen as well, staring off into nothingness the entire time, as Honey made sure to confirm and double-confirm every five minutes. She wished Sonia would recover instantly and come to her aid, coaxing her back to safety. Forbidden memories of her time with Sam came rushing back, as if they¡¯ve never left, which gave her panic a hard reset just when she thought she¡¯d be able to break through.


    Held hostage by her own body, the two girls sat against the wall, looking out at the partially damaged set, waiting for someone, for anyone, to save them. But in truth, the two only wanted to be saved by each other and no one else. There was no one who could convince her of safety except Sonia, and she knew there was no one who would help Sonia recuperate except her. All they had was each other.


    A tinge of warmth penetrated the paralysis, allowing her head to turn towards Sonia. Several parts of her spine ached. Sonia turned to face her too. ¡°Look at me.¡± She said.


    Honey felt a huge sense of relief at the sound of her voice.


    ¡°Look at me.¡± She announced monotonously.


    Honey carried her eyes upwards. Where did Sam touch her? Was Sonia hurt? How-


    ¡°Don¡¯t look away. Just look at me.¡±


    She forcibly nodded and took a deep breath. Sonia inhaled and exhaled with her, melting away the glue. Her joints regained movement, and she was able to stretch her legs out. More aching pains cropped up, and the two crawled back home in pain.


    **


    They reached her place first, and she gave Sonia a pat before heading to open the door. Just when she thought trouble was over, her keys were nowhere to be found. Where did it go? She couldn¡¯t have held it any tighter in her fist. She banged the door in fury, and hailed another cab to Sonia¡¯s place.


    ¡°Welcome back-¡± Her mother said.


    Honey silenced her with a hand, and vanished into Sonia¡¯s room. Was this why Sonia never talked with her mother? Sonia cocooned herself underneath the blankets, burying herself into her pillow. Honey sat by her bedside and noticed her hands still trembling non-stop.


    With nowhere else she wanted to be, she laid down beside her and closed her eyes, trying to sleep to no avail. After ten minutes of shut-eye, most of the panic melted away, and Sonia herself was fast asleep.


    Honey got up, and looked around. Her room was a revolting mess, unclean clothes piled into the corner, spilling out across the floor. All her stationary overpopulated her table, fighting for space with the computer. Some drawers were left open, and when she tried to close them, they dislodged and almost crushed her feet.


    She looked to Sonia, shifting slightly under the mountain of blankets, and sighed. Stretching lightly, she proceeded to clean her room. She started with the disgusting pile of clothes, folding each one of them neatly and then sending it to her mother in a pile. She then moved on to her clean clothes, which were few, and sorted them all by colour.


    She borrowed a broom from the kitchen under her mother¡¯s permission, and eliminated every last bit of dust on the floor, especially those collecting under her bed. She wanted to change her bedsheets as well, but didn¡¯t want to wake her, and so she had to reluctantly allow the disgusting sight to stay.


    She collected all her stationary and arranged them neatly in the corner, played around with her keyboard for a second, satisfied by the clicks, and shifted it to be exactly in the centre of the table. Proud of herself, she left her room and sat by the couch to watch TV. Of course, there was a Charlie Chaplin movie paused upon switching it on.


    Her mother came to join her, offering her a batch of cookies. ¡°Is it too sweet?¡±


    She took a bite. Chocolate exploded in her mouth. ¡°No, it¡¯s perfect.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    She rubbed her hands together and looked away.


    ¡°What do you wanna watch?¡±


    If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°Uh¡­ do you have anything besides Charlie Chaplin?¡±


    She chuckled, ¡°Why? You don¡¯t like it?¡±


    Honey shook her head, she never saw the appeal that Sonia did.


    ¡°Sonia has watched this movie a billion times, to be honest I get sick of it too sometimes. I can hear the music in my sleep.¡± They exchange a laugh. ¡°But she loves it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she does. She cares a lot about film. Can you talk about what happened? I¡¯m worried you know.¡±


    Honey sighed. ¡°Sam¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    Honey nodded, ¡°Let¡¯s watch Charlie Chaplin, he is the most important figure in film history after all, according to Sonia anyway.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ take this.¡± Sonia¡¯s mother passed her a card. It was a number to a psychologist.


    ¡°Oh, no, I don¡¯t- No, I- no.¡±


    ¡°Just try it. I¡¯ll pay for the first session, so you don¡¯t have to pay for it.¡±


    ¡°But even if I want to go, I don¡¯t have the money.¡±


    ¡°Give them a call and ask about their prices, see if you still feel the same way.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ thanks.¡±


    Sounds of ugly gasping and muffled sobbing can be heard upstairs. Honey got up immediately, but was put back down by her mother. ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. Just go home and rest, I got this.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°Thank you for all your help.¡±


    ¡°Ok. Uh¡­ I lost my key, when we were uh-¡±


    ¡°Yeah, sure, no problem, you can sleep on the couch.¡±


    ¡°Oh- Aw, thanks.¡± She found it surprising how inviting her mother was. She sat down, and mindlessly watched the film. What about this did Sonia love to death? Sonia had never felt this much passion towards anything or anyone else¡­except her. She sat up, eyes twinkling in epiphany.


    Through all of her breakups and fights and losses, Sonia was the one constant through it all. She had heard her complain about all her boyfriends in a million ways a million times, and never did she leave. She had to flaunt her feathers to get Sam¡¯s attention, or for anyone¡¯s attention,  but Sonia always gave her attention unwarranted; she even hated what all her boyfriends loved.


    And thus by definition, Honey had no idea how it felt like to be lonely, and to be abandoned by everyone else, left behind to rot and wilt on her own. She became the biggest hypocrite of all, always shutting others down because they ¡®didn¡¯t get it¡¯, thinking she knew the feeling any better. She had the strongest companion of all.


    She got up and headed up the stairs to Sonia¡¯s room. For the first time in her life, she saw Sonia cry exactly like her. Tears and snot mixed together, sitting by the corner with her head in her knees, that was her routine since forever.


    ¡°Honey, it¡¯s okay, I-¡±


    ¡°Ms Kristens. Can you give us a moment?¡±


    ¡°Honey, you¡¯ve been through a lot-¡±


    ¡°Please?¡±


    She took a pause, looked at her daughter then at her, mouthed out an ¡®Oh¡¯, and left. Honey locked the door, and sat next to Sonia.


    ¡°Go away!¡± She sniffed, and wiped away tears. ¡°Why¡¯d you clean my room! It¡¯s disgusting!¡±


    Honey rested her head on her shoulder, and grabbed her hand. It felt like marshmallows.


    ¡°What are you doing! Let go!¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°I hate you!¡±


    ¡°Hey, remember the first time you showed me your undying love for Charlie Chaplin?¡±


    ¡°No! And I don¡¯t wanna talk about that right now! What, are you gonna try and cheer me up by talking about something else entirely like I always do? Oh, how the tables have turned.¡± She rolled her eyes. ¡°Save it, it¡¯s not gonna work.¡±


    ¡°Then what will work? Tell me.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s my turn.¡±


    ¡°Ew! Am I supposed to be touched or something?¡±


    ¡°Look, I just thought of something five minutes ago, and I need to say it to you, okay!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not listening to anything you say.¡±


    Honey gripped the remaining hand and locked eyes with her. ¡°I- how- you¡¯re like-¡± She couldn¡¯t find the words to express her thoughts. ¡°Ok- whatever- just- I love you.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t make me say it again.¡± Honey blushed. ¡°And if you insult me for it I¡¯m leaving immediately.¡± She looked away.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°How- why? What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so disgusting I can make literally everyone in the world leave me. My family, Ryan, Sam, all my friends and whatever- but-¡± She smiled. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s impossible¡­to make you leave.¡±


    ¡°I-¡±


    ¡°And you hate me more than anyone else.¡±


    ¡°So what do you think that means? That I¡¯m hopelessly in love with you too? Don¡¯t flatter yourself. You¡¯re not that pretty.¡±


    She chuckled. ¡°As if you¡¯re any prettier. You¡¯re uglier than me.¡±


    ¡°Wow, says the one with pink in her hair.¡± Sonia started smiling. ¡°It¡¯s such a stupid colour. Why can¡¯t you dye it like¡­ literally any other colour?¡±


    ¡°And what about you and your stupid sense of fashion? You¡¯re a girl, but all you wear is¡­ bleh. Maybe if you wore a dress or something people would like you more.¡±


    They scoffed at each other. ¡°Wanna go watch Charlie Chaplin? Your mom made cookies.¡±


    Sonia giggled, then squealed with her tail wagging.

 Dessert

    She woke up with the biggest headache she has ever felt in her life. All her focus glued to the radiating pain, drowning out all other cognitive activity, including the screaming voices; it was both relief and torture.


    Instinctively, she reached to her pile of shirts, feeling a dying itch to shower. The absence of fabric on her hands woke her up, and her room seemed foreign to her. Did her mother clean her room? Hadn¡¯t she given up on that futile endeavour years ago?


    She rolled to her side, and found Honey absent. Had she gone home? Her heart winced at the thought, and reluctantly she got out of bed. Reaching to her cabinet, she discovered all the drawers pushed in, as opposed to the usual few sticking out, giving her convenient access to her clothes. She opened the top, and saw every white article of clothing staring back at her. Who rearranged her clothes? She opened the next drawer, black, and then the next drawer, grey. Annoyingly enough, someone had the audacity to colour-code her cabinet, and made picking her outfit unnecessarily tedious.


    Her mother definitely did not do this. Which meant the culprit was Honey. Why would she arrange her clothes? She shook the thought away, and picked her outfit. Walking to her toilet, she stopped again. Her feet brushed against the floor a few times, and then she crouched down to observe it. Sparkling clean tiles with not a sign of dirt or dust anywhere. Honey had given her bedroom a make-over.


    Her heart winced again, and the dam broke out of the blue. Tears flowed in pin-drop silence. Why would she do that? Her room is disgusting, she is disgusting, but Honey would never think of her that way. Instead, she offers her heart and cleans her room unprompted. The mess probably made her eyes bleed and she cleaned it to satisfy her germophobic tendencies, but she knew that explanation was an excuse.


    She changed, and then began crying exactly like Honey. Her mother came a second later, hugging her in sheer confusion. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Why did she fold my clothes?¡± She cried out.


    ¡°Who? Honey? What are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°She cleaned my room.¡± Tears couldn¡¯t stop flowing.


    And then Honey came in and answered her questions. She¡¯s the only person stupid enough to clean her room, thinking it makes a difference.


    **


    ¡°Ok¡­ so I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve- where were you this past week? What happened to the set?¡± Erin asked her. Everyone seemed oddly calm.


    ¡°I- some stuff happened¡­ sorry I was absent for the whole week.¡±


    ¡°Oh, are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Did Honey tell you anything?¡±


    ¡°Huh? No, why?¡± Honey didn¡¯t spill the beans, how surprising. It would¡¯ve been the perfect net to catch pity with.


    ¡°Nevermind. So, what did you want to tell me?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ the interviews are over¡­ and we had a little voting thing, but you and Sam weren¡¯t here for it¡­ I tried texting you but you didn¡¯t- whatever- what was I saying? Right! I¡¯m the leader now!¡±


    ¡°Woah- wait, what?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, everyone voted for me- for some reason. Yay!¡± She clapped her hands together in delight. There could¡¯ve been worse outcomes for the club, Sonia consoled herself to no avail. ¡°And I¡¯ve been like¡­ shuffling things around or whatever, making people happy¡­ and what do you think about¡­ being a writer?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°Or- or you can go back to editing if you like that more.¡±


    ¡°No, no, I¡¯m good with writing, so you¡¯ll be the director?¡±


    ¡°Well, I know nothing about acting, or writing, or anything¡­ So I¡¯m just leaving it to them to like put it together. You¡¯ll just be like¡­ guiding the actors¡­to act!¡±


    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re still filming ¡®Raft¡¯?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ why?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°Although we¡¯re still trying to get more of the um¡­ fake sand- what even is that actually? And another green-screen.¡±


    ¡°Oh, cool.¡± Sonia felt relieved. At least her work persevered through Sam¡¯s attack. ¡°Thank you.¡± She said that with more sincerity than intended.


    ¡°What? Uh- you¡¯re welcome? Anyway, since we still don¡¯t have the fake sand yet, we¡¯re just pitching ideas for episode two.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ episode two?¡±


    ¡°You left it on a cliffhanger! Did they actually go back home on the raft? Did they drown after arguing while out at sea, because the final scene was them quarrelling. So I decided to just make it like a mini-series.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ okay, cool! Um¡­ why was no one here, like a week ago?¡±


    ¡°They were trying to throw a coup, it was so stupid¡­ a lot of people quit¡­¡± Erin went silent. ¡°This is all we have left.¡± She pointed to about five others in the room. Bryan was nowhere to be seen.


    ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°What? No, it¡¯s not your fault- well, ok, maybe, but being a leader is hard man. And there were so many rumours flying everywhere, it was terrible.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ok¡­ and just so you know, if I was here¡­ I¡¯d vote for you too.¡±


    Erin squared her shoulders, and straightened her posture in confidence. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    **


    It felt like forever ago since she worked a shift, but somehow she only had one absence amongst all the mess in her life. She and Honey walked in whilst holding hands, preparing to roll their eyes at the kitchen¡¯s reactions. Everyone celebrated more than they should, and one of the chefs had the audacity to cook them extra dishes for dinner.


    ¡°Shut up!¡± Sonia had to talk to all of them throughout the whole shift until they finally went home. Only the two of them and the manager remained, who offered to keep the restaurant open as they had their dinners. It was stupidity like this that reminded her how much she loved working here.


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    ¡°Open.¡± Honey commanded, feeding her a french fry.


    ¡°I can eat it myself!¡± She exclaimed.


    When she ate half of her pasta, the romantic mood was quashed with something more sinister. ¡°Hey¡­ so I¡¯ve been thinking¡­ We should tell Ms Eva what happened!¡± Honey whispered despite there being no one else around.


    ¡°First of all, it¡¯s insane Ms Eva bought Erin¡¯s half-baked theory that someone had a second accident during filming, and second of all, no.¡±


    ¡°No? He touched you!¡±


    ¡°He touched you more.¡±


    ¡°Ew, gross!¡±


    ¡°He tried to touch your leg, didn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°And he actually touched your-¡± She pointed to her own chest. ¡°Didn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°Ew! No! He only shoved me on my shoulders.¡±


    ¡°Right, but you said he ¡®lay hands on you¡¯, I remember that very clearly.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Were you just trying to insult him? I swear I saw him like-¡± She looked away, shuddering at her vivid imagination.


    ¡°Why did you remember what I said so clearly? What are you thinking right now?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know!¡±


    ¡°Look, I bet he regrets what he did right now, okay? I think we should just drop it.¡±


    ¡°What? Since when did you care about him so much?¡±


    ¡°Well- How did you think I felt the first time? When I confronted him about the pages?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe it, you¡¯re defending him? Who cares what he feels? He attacked us both, he deserves death!¡±


    ¡°No, he doesn¡¯t. Drop it¡­okay? For me?¡±


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you¡¯re defending him.¡±


    ¡°I just know what it¡¯s like to do something you immediately regret after.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but still-¡±


    ¡°My mom gave you a number to a therapist right?¡±


    ¡°Uh huh.¡±


    ¡°Are you gonna call it?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t need help!¡±


    ¡°Says the girl who cut him with her key!¡±


    ¡°I was protecting you! And using keys as a weapon is just a smart self-defence tactic.¡±


    ¡°Meaning you¡¯ve been researching self-defence? Since when? Since that whole thing with Sam months ago? Or even earlier before that?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t do it all the time! It¡¯s just like, I do it occasionally, okay?¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°What, you¡¯re telling me you¡¯ve never felt scared that someone might be following you when you¡¯re on the train, or- or you always cross your legs when you wear a skirt or a dress because someone might try to look under it?¡±


    ¡°First, I don''t wear dresses or skirts but- well- I won''t google self-defence tactics out of nowhere! And you know it''s more than that.¡±


    ¡°Hm, and why don''t you wear dresses or skirts I wonder?"


    ¡°Don¡¯t flip this on me, I¡¯m interrogating you here.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re always interrogating me!¡±


    ¡°Because I care!¡± She blushed.


    ¡°I know, but it still sucks.¡±


    Sonia couldn¡¯t find a gentle way to phrase her concern. ¡°I¡¯m worried you¡¯re being codependent on me.¡±


    ¡°What? Since when are you worried about that, and no I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°Do you remember what you said when you said¡­ that.¡±


    ¡°Well why are you worried about it all of a sudden.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not gonna work if you keep doing that.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s my fault?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not-¡±


    ¡°What about you? You needed me to convince you that you were worthy of love. Your immediate response was to ask why.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t get defensive, I¡¯m not blaming you! And you¡¯re right¡­ that too¡­ is a problem. And if we just get together with those problems¡­ it won¡¯t last¡­¡± She blushed even harder and looked away. ¡°And I want this to last.¡±


    ¡°Me too. So what do you want me to do?¡±


    ¡°I think we should only be together once we fix our problems.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Honey began quivering. ¡°Well¡­¡± She retracted her hand, but Sonia pulled it back.


    ¡°We can still hold hands¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t want to right now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, ok.¡±


    ¡°How will we even know we have fixed it?¡±


    Sonia shrugged.


    ¡°We need a way to prove it somehow.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    ¡°What if¡­ you have to tell me why I love you¡­ to show your problem is fixed?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± Sonia gulped. ¡°And¡­ what about you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I gave you your¡­ thing, you give me mine.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ you have to¡­ be lonely and sad¡­ without me once.¡±


    ¡°What!¡± Honey flared up.


    ¡°As if mine is any easier!¡±


    ¡°Fine¡­¡± They crossed pinkies, sealing the pact. ¡°You want dessert?¡±


    Sonia nodded, and the two fed each other ice-cream until the manager finished all of his administrative work, and chased them out at the stroke of midnight.

 What Now?

    ¡°I only touched her shoulder!¡± He defended, then left with a flurry of emotions. What did he just do? They looked exactly like Joe everytime his parents had a fight upstairs, or when he combusted in anger; Timidly cowering in the corner, trying their best to turn invisible.


    Is this how Joe saw him? Was this how everyone saw him nowadays? He hated himself for not retreating in fear of Sonia, he hated himself for not listening to his conscience to drop the whole matter and move on, instead of acting like a man-child. He promised to never listen to or act like his father or Uncle again, and he broke that promise almost immediately.


    He could feel all the dirt on him as he cycled off, imagining a million different ways of how he hurt them, and how his actions will leave a permanent scar on them. Honey would now be scarred by him twice, and Sonia, the fortress of a woman, would now crumble to ashes thanks to his envy. What was he thinking? How would lashing out even help his cause, and why did he adopt the infuriating mindset of a sore loser?


    He stopped by the child-care and commanded Joe to get on coldly. He couldn¡¯t bear to be in a public space for a second longer. Joe, annoyingly enough, disagreed, bargaining for five minutes more in the sandpit. According to him, he was an inch away from finding buried treasure.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have time for your make-belief Joe, let¡¯s go! Come on!¡±


    Joe frowned, bid goodbye to his friends, and they rode off.


    Sam slammed the front door open, and sulked to himself on the couch, staring at the floor in self-criticising silence. Joe went back to his gloomy self, sitting beside him in silence as well. After a few minutes of staring into space, he snapped himself awake, and sent his cousin an email. ¡°Joe¡­ we¡¯re going to the beach tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± Joe replied, unconvinced.


    **


    He woke up early the next day, and left a note on the table regarding his plans. With the scraps that remained from his cousin¡¯s funding, he could just about afford a cab ride to and from the beach and not a cent more. Joe only cheered once they arrived, finally overcoming his scepticism. In overwhelming joy, he raced towards the shore with not a care in the world. Sam could barely keep up.


    Immediately their clothes were drenched in polluted seawater. Sam had been careless enough to not bring a fresh change of clothes, which meant they had to endure the freezing temperature until the water dried up.


    Joe immediately sat down and began burrowing like a dog, trying to create a well of some sort. Sam joined in, and all his problems melted away. The waves came crashing, and a small pool of water remained behind. They both celebrated as if this was the biggest achievement of their lives. Sam suggested they fortified the well, building a wall of sand around it to defend against the waves. Joe discovered a seashell whilst digging, and the two admired its beautiful figure for a moment.


    Hours flew by in a second, and they moved on to the ocean itself, splashing eye-irritating saltwater at each other. The two giggled like children, running and thrashing about near the shore with not a care in the world. After that, they drenched themselves some more in the most disgusting bathroom stalls they¡¯ve ever came across. Neither of them dared to step on the floor with their whole feet, and so they took turns tip-toeing around the blob of black and other residual colours on the floor.


    The sun hung directly above them, helping to dry them off as they took a stroll. Sam had never felt happier in his life, which sparked him to reminisce the last time he felt this happy. He and Joe played pool for the first time, courtesy of Aunty Flower, and neither of them could break no matter how hard they tried. The cousins eventually got annoyed at their incompetence and took over.


    Sam looked at Joe, the little bundle of joy admiring everything with sparkles in his eyes, and he couldn¡¯t help but smile along. Why hadn¡¯t he brought Joe here sooner? He regretted all the time he wasted trying to plot against Sonia or chasing Honey rather than playing with the brother he already had. Neglecting Joe was the signature move of his parents, which meant he¡¯d be a hypocrite if he did the same.


    When the sun began to set, Joe¡¯s stomach grumbled. ¡°I¡¯m hungry!¡±


    Sam had a choice to make, either take a cab home starving or cycle home with bellies full for two full hours. Both options seemed equally torturous.


    ¡°Shh, watch the sunset!¡± He pointed to the sky that bled orange and crimson. ¡°We¡¯ll figure that out afterwards.¡±


    ¡°Ok!¡±


    ¡°Did you have fun?¡± Sam asked. The sun made him feel vulnerable.


    Joe nodded. ¡°I want to come here everyday!¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°We can.¡±


    ¡°Yay!¡±


    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s pretty fun coming here.¡± He looked near the shore, and saw himself a year ago with a trash bag in hand, wishing he¡¯d be anywhere else. The two other girls felt the same, and they all grumbled their regrets by the bench during their allocated break. They shared a bag of chips amongst themselves, while he only had water and a sandwich. He watched them with envy, and wondered how they grew to be so close with one another. If not for eavesdropping, he¡¯d assume they were sisters.


    The pink-haired girl smiled brighter than the harsh afternoon sun that day, and for a second they locked eyes, which bewitched him to her spell forever. Even now, thinking about her spawns a few butterflies in his stomach.


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    Later, the teacher gathered them together and briefed them on part two of the event, as if part one wasn¡¯t enough. The three had to star in a PSA video and read a script about ocean pollution. He cringed at himself to remember exactly what the script said, and mumbled it to himself word for word.


    He then had a bright idea to escape the embarrassment by offering to film the video itself, and forced the two girls to walk miles across for a ¡®better angle¡¯; which coincidentally gave him shade under a tree. The pink-haired girl acted the role perfectly, which counter-intuitively made it more embarrassing to endure. The other girl saw right through his lie, and gave him endless notes on his cinematography until he was kicked out of the shade. Oddly enough, taking her notes improved the composition by leaps and bounds. And then he was reminded of his idol Uncle, which gave him the best idea in the entire world.


    He felt Joe¡¯s tiny arms outstretched across his waist. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re crying. I am making you feel better.¡±


    Unbeknownst to him, his eyes were wet.


    ¡°Huh, oh, ok, thanks.¡±


    ¡°Why are you crying?¡±


    ¡°I just wanted to be successful.¡± He covered his face. ¡°And I lost my chance.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°I just¡­ wanted to know what it¡¯s like to live like our cousins. They all have their own rooms, and their own things, and their food isn¡¯t leftovers from last night¡­ I just want to know what that¡¯s like, or give you the chance to know what that¡¯s like.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to live like them!¡±


    ¡°What? Don¡¯t you want new toys? Why not?¡±


    ¡°They hate the beach. If I was like them I''d never come to the beach!¡±


    ¡°What? They don¡¯t hate the beach, what are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°Hazel cried when they went for a picnic at the beach, and then she said she never wanted to go there ever again!¡±


    ¡°Well, she has sensitive skin.¡±


    Joe seemed unconvinced.


    ¡°Hm.¡± He chuckled at Joe¡¯s undying passion for the beach, a close second to his love for zombies. ¡°Ok¡­ we got two options. Either we have dinner here and cycle for two hours home, or¡­ we take a cab home now and eat at home.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t Uncle bring us out to eat? I want to eat at the star restaurant!¡±


    ¡°Huh? And no, I don¡¯t want to talk to him anymore. He¡¯s a fraud.¡±


    ¡°Fraud?¡±


    ¡°Liar. So what¡¯s your choice, dinner or cab?¡±


    Joe ended up picking the dinner, dooming him to two hours of hell.


    **


    He handed in a form Monday afternoon, and officially resigned from the club. By god¡¯s miracle did Ms Eva not find out about the fight, and that no one ratted him out. With Erin in charge and everything he did, his standing in the club would never be the same again. He had nothing left for him there. He bid the room goodbye, packed up his camera, and cycled off early to pick Joe up.


    He stayed with him at the childcare and played with all the other children to compensate for his early arrival before cycling home with his back drenched in sweat. He spends all his time playing with Joe now, making trips to the mall and other places where they could play without a price.


    They went to the arcade after seeing someone drop their card by accident, and managed a grand total of five minutes of air hockey. They spent an afternoon at the library reading comic books about zombies, and borrowed one on the way home. Joe couldn¡¯t peel his eyes away.


    A week of fun later, the adrenaline died down, and the trips became a weekly affair. Joe spent his time divided between his toys and his comic, while Sam rotted away on the couch watching horrendous soap operas from a century ago. What now?  He asked himself as he reflected on the trajectory of his life.


    With no film club, he had nothing going on in his life, and he became what his father dreaded most; a slacker. No progress or attempts made to walk the golden road to success, what a disappointment, he¡¯d surely say if he knew. He looks at Joe, completely engrossed in his comic, occasionally mumbling out a line or two as he flipped the pages.


    ¡°Joe¡­ Joe.¡± He called for his attention.


    Joe dog-eared the page and looked at him.


    ¡°I have a question.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°Why do you like zombies so much?¡±


    He made a zombie noise, as if that constituted a complete answer.


    ¡°Uh¡­ you like how they roar?¡±


    He nods.


    ¡°They sound cool?¡±


    He nods again.


    ¡°How did you¡­ like zombies? You don¡¯t even have zombie toys. Did you see the cousins play a zombie game once or something?¡±


    He shakes his head.


    ¡°Then how did you discover you like zombies so much?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my favourite toy in school!¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    ¡°I played with every toy in school, and I like the zombie toy the most!¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s how you found out you loved zombies?¡±


    He nods.


    ¡°Huh¡­ cool.¡±


    He smiles and nods. Sam retrieves his notebook, and flipped to the few blank pages remaining in the book that wasn¡¯t torn or crumpled or wet, and he wrote out the burning question that plagued him for the last week. ¡®What do I do with my life?¡¯ He circled and underlined it in mediocre frustration.

 Your Turn

    ¡°So¡­ what now?¡± She did a little dance, every nerve in her body begging her to run away.


    ¡°We just wait for a bit, calm down.¡±


    Honey whispered. ¡°Why is your mom here?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯ll leave after talking to the reception, she promised.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± She chewed her thumb. Coming here was the dumbest mistake she had ever made. ¡°This is so stupid¡­ Can¡¯t we just go home?¡±


    ¡°Do you want this to work or not?¡± Sonia pointed to her, then back to herself a few times.


    ¡°What are they even gonna do?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯ll just talk to you and ask you questions okay?¡±


    The receptionist announces her name and guides her towards a room. Another lady invites her in, asking the receptionist to prepare two cups of water, and the door obscures Sonia from view. It was now her and the therapist.


    **


    She sat down uncomfortably, sinking into the cushions, and held a pillow like a shield. The lights had a slight orange tint to its luminescence, and she wondered how loud Sonia would say it hummed; because according to her, they do. She heard all sorts of invisible sounds from electrical appliances, sounds that Honey had never heard in her life, which made her wonder if Sonia was going deaf or if she was.


    The lady introduced herself, and called her by her full name, which sounded odd for some reason. ¡°What brings you to my office today, Honey Candy?¡±


    ¡°Just Honey is fine.¡±


    ¡°Ok. What brings you to my office today, Honey?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡± She looked at the door, trying to find Sonia with X-ray vision.


    ¡°Is something wrong?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Is that your sister outside?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ we¡¯re friends.¡±


    ¡°Ok. It¡¯s really nice of her to accompany you here.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± She gave a stupid smile.


    ¡°Are you two dating?¡±


    ¡°What! How do you know?¡± Her mind-reading powers reminded her of Sonia.


    ¡°I saw you two holding hands earlier, how¡¯s that going?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ fine.¡±


    ¡°Why did you say she was your friend earlier?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°When I asked you who she was, you referred to her as your ¡®friend¡¯ even though you¡¯re dating, why is that?¡±


    She swallowed a ball of air. So it seems she had to answer these types of questions for the next hour. ¡°Well, we aren¡¯t officially together, we-¡± Wait, should she spill the beans to this random lady? What would Sonia think about this? Honey stopped herself, ¡°It¡¯s complicated.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t,..want to¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s ok, we can talk about something else then.¡±


    Honey nodded, and took a sip of water.


    ¡°So what brings you here?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ she- her mother¡­ sent me here.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you need to be here?¡±


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with me.¡± She knew that was false.


    ¡°Yet they sent you here. It must be frustrating.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°But since you¡¯re here, why don¡¯t we make the most out of it?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    She proceeded to explain her occupation, which gave Honey a clearer picture of the situation at hand. From what the therapist described, Honey shuddered at the conclusion that she probably had to open up about her horrendous past, where she acted inhumane.


    For Sonia, she thought, interrupting her mid-explanation. ¡°I¡­ live alone.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡±


    ¡°I ran away from home two years ago¡­ and now I live alone¡­¡±


    She kept silent, which pressured Honey to elaborate.


    ¡°Well¡­ they chased me out of the house, because I was being¡­ Anyway, when I ran I kind of¡­ Nevermind. But¡­ yeah, basically that¡¯s what happened.¡±


    ¡°How is it like living alone?¡±


    ¡°Lonely.¡±


    ¡°And what does loneliness feel like?¡±


    ¡°Terrible. It makes me cry every single night.¡±


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    ¡°Every night?¡±


    She nodded, only now did she begin to realise why she needed this.


    ¡°How long has this been going on?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ since¡­ so long ago, I can¡¯t remember.¡±


    ¡°I see. That doesn¡¯t sound good.¡±


    She shook her head in agreement. Only now did it dawn on her truly how problematic her nightly routine was. ¡°But¡­ I haven¡¯t been crying recently.¡±


    ¡°Oh, why¡¯s that?¡±


    She looked to the door, approximating where Sonia sat outside.


    ¡°Does she help you cope with your loneliness?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°That¡¯s why we aren¡¯t technically together officially. She doesn¡¯t want me to become codependent on her.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good. What do you plan to do to no longer be codependent on her?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ come here? We made a promise to each other. I have to survive feeling lonely without her help, and she has to tell me why I love her without me telling her.¡±


    ¡°May I know why you love her?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± She flushed her cheeks. ¡°Well¡­ she¡¯s-¡± She wanted to die inside. ¡°-pretty. And she¡¯s always there for me no matter how embarrassing I¡¯m being.¡± She chuckled, taking a sip of water to cool her facial temperature down. ¡°She looks so good in dresses even though she never wears them. She¡¯s also really strong¡­ which is¡­ kinda¡­¡± She covered her face, feeling warm inside.


    ¡°I see. She sounds great.¡±


    She nodded. ¡°She¡¯s awesome.¡±


    ¡°Why do you think she loves you?¡±


    Honey froze. Being the ultimate hypocrite, she can¡¯t answer that question either. ¡°Well¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ But I know that no matter how terrible I am she¡¯ll still love me.¡± She teared up.


    ¡°Do you think you deserve her love?¡±


    She shook her head firmly.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    She shrugged her shoulders. The reasons were insurmountable, yet she couldn¡¯t find the words to articulate them.


    ¡°What made your parents chase you out of the house, Honey?¡±


    Backed into a corner, she desperately sought for a way out.


    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ I- I forgot.¡± Her lips quivered otherwise.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    She thought back to her promise. If anything can induce negative emotions it would be answering that question, and all she needed to do after was to weather through it alone and she would¡¯ve fulfilled her promise.


    ¡°Ok, fine! But after I answer, I want you to leave me alone.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll cry, and then if I can go through it myself, I¡¯ll fulfil my promise to her.¡±


    ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll leave after you answer the question.¡±


    ¡°They chased me out because I was being a monster!¡± A mountain lifted off her chest. ¡°I was selfish, and whiny, and I was spoilt, and then they just reached their limit with me! It¡¯s all my fault I live alone, I did this to myself, and as if that wasn¡¯t bad enough when I ran away I stole their credit card! And I withdrew all the cash inside before they could cancel it and then used that money to pay my rent every month. I even bought some fancy perfume that I don¡¯t even use just to show them I had their money! I am so disgusting, why would she love me? What¡¯s there to love, I don¡¯t deserve love, I don¡¯t deserve anything! I deserve to be lonely, I deserve my dirty flat. No matter how much I clean it there¡¯s always dust everywhere, and it makes me want to burn down the whole flat, but where else would I live? I bullied my brother to death, made him depressed just like me, and I made my parents¡¯ hair turn grey, I destroyed all his toys, and then cried because his toys were more expensive, I made fun of him for being deaf, and then made fun of his sign language, in fact I learnt sign language just to make fun of him- god- I¡¯m so disgusting! Ugh!¡± She breathed fire.


    ¡°Sounds like you¡¯re ashamed of yourself. Would you like me to leave the room now?¡±


    She nodded, covering her face with a pillow. The therapist obliged, leaving with her cup of water and shut the door behind her. Honey expected her to scoff and mouth our a passive-aggressive ¡®Wow¡¯, and then have a laugh with the receptionist about how disgusting and ugly her new patient was. And the therapist would regret ever answering her phone call, and drop her as a patient the moment her session ended. Sonia would ask the therapist what she had said, and then laugh along, regretting ever getting together with her.


    Sonia would demand a break-up, and her mother would give her a disappointing glance and ban her from coming to her house or eating her food ever again. Honey would return to her dilapidated apartment and even if she died, no one would care, or come to her funeral let alone hold it. Her corpse would lay decomposed by her bed, free of bugs and worms because even insects wanted nothing to do with her. She hated herself with a burning passion like no other.


    No wonder she had to resort to manipulation and lying to hook Sam in. He would¡¯ve stopped liking her the moment he catches a whiff of her disgusting history. He would kick her out of the club if he did know, and send her to the streets. Everyone would push her away, squeezing her in the unwanted corner of the room while the party rages on everywhere else.


    She began bashing her head in with the pillow, sobbing for the who-knows-how-many-millionth time. That¡¯s her signature move, in fact that was her only move, the only act she could accomplish; crying like a baby. A spoiled baby crying at the sight of vegetables in his lunch, demanding michelin-star baby food. Who in the world would love someone like that? Being spoilt was one of the most detestable traits a human could possess right beside perversion and arrogance.


    **


    An unknown amount of crying later, she reached for her cup of water, and remembered Sonia again. Everything she ever did for her despite her disappointment. It¡¯s impossible to make her leave, but why? What¡¯s making her stay? She wanted to leave the room and lay on her shoulder whilst looking for answers, but that wasn¡¯t the pact they sealed.


    She wiped her tears away, and put on her thinking cap. She can¡¯t fulfil her promise if she stays as a can of worms forever. She needed to figure this out for her sake, Sonia¡¯s sake, and their sake. Maybe she might have been shameless in the past, but she needn¡¯t punish herself for it in the present. A spoilt baby, she realised, was still a baby nonetheless; clueless on how to behave appropriately. She acted like a child her whole life, but never spoke to herself like one. Scolding a whining child does nothing but backfire, which meant Honey had to speak to herself differently.


    Being one in spirit with that of a whining five-year old, Honey began speaking to herself in that context. She needed to be calm and reassuring, because that was all a whining child asked for; reassurance. ¡°It¡¯s okay if you didn¡¯t get¡­ the most expensive toy.¡± Shame burnt her cheeks with every word, but she pressed on. ¡°It¡¯s okay to feel upset¡­ and scolding you for feeling upset does nothing¡­ so I¡¯m not gonna do that.¡±


    She couldn¡¯t appear any dumber, but luckily, no one was around to watch. She slowly delved back into silence, and noticed her tears reducing in quantity. ¡°You¡­ just have to apologise¡­ and move on. I¡¯m sorry for shouting at you.¡± And for some reason, she started smiling uncontrollably.


    Five minutes of uncontrolled smiling later, she walked out of the room, and went to Sonia immediately.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Sonia asked.


    Honey nodded and held her hands. ¡°Ok¡­ I completed my¡­ thing. I¡¯m waiting on you now.¡± She gave her a warm hug.


    ¡°Wha- Real- what happened?¡±


    ¡°I told you. I made my promise.¡± She smiled. ¡°Now it¡¯s your turn.¡±

 So What?

    Production wrapped today. Once the director yells ¡°Cut!¡±Erin yelped in excitement, and declared a wrap. She decided to host a viewing party to celebrate everyone¡¯s hard work at the end of the week before releasing it to the public. She felt a confusing blend of happiness and envy.


    ¡°Dismissed.¡± Erin announced, letting everyone off for the day. They packed their bags together and she called the cab home.


    ¡°Wait.¡± Honey said. ¡°Actually, tell your mom I¡¯m not coming for lunch today.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna go have lunch with Erin, and she¡¯s gonna teach me how to play the cello later.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The big violin.¡±


    ¡°No, i mean, since when were you two friends?¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know if we¡¯re¡­ friends, she just invited me today and I said yes. Wanna come?¡±


    She shook her head. ¡°Have fun then.¡±


    ¡°Ok! We¡¯ll call later?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Love you!¡±


    A wince of pain weighed her smile down. Honey held her hands for a second, and dashed off with Erin, helping her pack up the equipment. It reminded her of the embarrassing phone call to her father where she had to request a hundred dollars to compensate for her mistake; he did not take the news well.


    She goes home alone, and eats lunch with her mother on the couch. Today¡¯s dish was potato wedges, still scalding hot to the touch. After a bit of nudging, she finally agreed to watch something else besides Charlie Chaplin.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Honey?¡±


    ¡°Off to hang out with Erin.¡±


    ¡°The girl who did the music?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s the leader of the club now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, how¡¯s that going?¡±


    ¡°Surprisingly well. Probably because she agrees to everyone¡¯s demands, making her an instant favourite over me. We wrapped production today, ¡®Raft¡¯ releases next Monday.¡±


    ¡°Oh, congratulations!¡± Her mother hugged her, fingertips reeked of oil and salt.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t seem happy about it.¡±


    She shrugged. Nowadays, her emotions were a complete mystery to her. ¡°It¡¯s a 4/10 day today.¡± Suggested by her mother, she would rate her emotional well-being out of ten to communicate her feelings to her and Honey.


    ¡°Ok. What are you gonna do today?¡±


    ¡°Probably start writing episode 2 of ¡®Raft¡¯. Erin turned it into a mini-series.¡±


    ¡°I see. Do you need help?¡±


    ¡°Maybe.¡± Sonia repulsed at the thought of asking this question. ¡°How¡¯s your novel going?¡±


    Her mother seemed to almost burst into tears. ¡°Thanks for asking. I finished editing, I¡¯m just having my beta readers look it over one last time before I publish it.¡±


    ¡°Publish? Wow.¡±


    ¡°Yup! But I don¡¯t know if it¡¯ll do well.¡±


    ¡°Can I¡­ Can I read it? Be your beta-reader?¡± Sonia was only half-sure what that term meant.


    Her mother gave her a long hug. ¡°Sure. Let me go get a copy.¡± And Sonia finished the last potato wedge. Her mother came back with her computer, and gleefully passed it to her. ¡°It¡¯s okay if you can¡¯t finish it, it¡¯s quite long.¡±


    ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll go read it in my room.¡±


    ¡°Tell me what you thought of it, okay?¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    **


    One chapter in and Sonia already lost focus. Her eyes observed the words without comprehension, seeing black lines and squiggles scroll by. Instead, she thought back to her promise made to Honey. Honey already fulfilled her¡¯s at the therapist¡¯s office, and was now an active patient there. According to her, they began talking about her family.


    In primary one, she had her first test ever. Being young and naive, she had no concept of what a test was, and what ¡®studying¡¯ meant. She entered it woefully unprepared, and ended up getting every question wrong. Her teacher, being one of the bad apples, announced her failure to the whole class and used to show the class what careless mistakes to avoid in the future. Sonia of course took no such advice, instead she sat there with a sour look as her failures were made an example of.


    In primary two, while going through a phase of environmentalism, she joined a science fair and was tasked to create a toy from recycled items in the span of two weeks in teams of three. She had no idea how to communicate with the other two, and ended up contributing nothing to the project. The other two squealed to the teachers about her inaction, and she was disqualified almost immediately. Her team did not win, which she found to be karma at work.


    In primary six, she burnt the midnight oil for a month straight trying to study for PSLE. Both her parents were more than confident she would pass with all that torturous preparations. Unbeknownst to them, Sonia suppressed an oncoming fever during the test, and due to overwhelming fatigue, could barely focus on her papers. She passed by the skin of her teeth, landing her in the worst secondary school in her neighbourhood. Her ¡®friends¡¯ did little to console her of that fact.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    On the first day in that terrible school, she met a pink-haired girl who was so clueless to her failures that it came off as charming. The two experienced a lot of road bumps at the start, reluctant to spend any time with one another but always doing so regardless. One day, she came to her with an A on her test in elation, and pressured Sonia to show her results. She shamefully displayed her F, expecting Honey to mock her to death for it. Instead she gave an ¡®oh¡¯ and began flipping through the pages, trying her best to tutor and correct her mistakes.


    Sonia snapped out of her trip down memory lane, and scrolled to the second chapter, pushing herself to focus on it for as long as possible. She stepped outside three seconds later for a cup of water, and gave up on ever reading the book itself.


    She remembered the one time she complained to her mother about the onslaught of failures. She laid on her lap and vented all her frustrations in school, especially regarding her grades. She expected her mother to either give other-worldly advice that made everything click, or follow in her father¡¯s footsteps and chide her to ¡®study harder¡¯. Instead, her mother simply said, ¡°Well then it just seems like you¡¯re not the studying type.¡± Sonia still had no idea what that meant to this day.


    She barely scored well for her final exams, and despite scoring much better than her, Honey chose to enter the same school as her. It was equal parts touching and stupid. The two went to prom together as friends, seeing that she had no one else to bring and Honey didn¡¯t want to bring the millions of boys fawning over her. Try as she might, Honey could not get her to dance whatsoever, and Sonia stayed rooted to the chair watching Honey have the best day in her life, and wondered why she couldn¡¯t do the same. She thought she blew it, ruining the experience of prom forever, but Honey dragged her across the street to a void deck in the middle of the night, and while no one was watching, tried for the last time. Sonia managed one awkward move before demanding to go home in an instant.


    ¡°So what?¡± She suddenly told herself, snapping herself out from memory lane for the second time. Sick and tired of counting the marks on her wall of failures, she asked herself ¡®so what?¡¯ If she had to hear her brain scold her for not dancing with Honey one more time she¡¯ll shoot herself in the head. Of course, her brain proceeds to scold her immediately for not dancing with Honey and for thinking to shoot herself in the head as petty revenge. She wanted to bash her brains out so the two could finally brawl it out and settle the score.


    In mind-splitting frustration, she played one last move to turn the tables. ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± She told herself and looked deep into the mirror. She waited for her reflection to magically take life of its own, airing all the insults it could think of, which couldn¡¯t be many since she lacked creativity.


    She failed her exams. ¡®So what?¡¯ she barked at her reflection, as if that mattered to anyone on planet earth. Her failures were so severe it even failed at memorability. She failed so hard that the failure itself was forgotten, rather than being written in the history books or being a viral sensation online. That was how much and how hard she failed, and thus returns the question, so what? She failed to dance with Honey, so what? She failed to say ¡®I love you¡¯ to her, so what? She failed to kiss her, so what? She failed her tests, so what? She failed her life, so what? Today¡¯s a 4/10, so what?


    The shackles came free, and her head was weightless for a moment, a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. Then, an overwhelming passion overcame her, and she knew she needed to do something. She searched through her drawers and pulled out the black dress Honey bought for her, only ever worn once.


    With her heart beating outside her chest, she requested her mother clean it immediately.


    **


    The dress lay neatly folded in her bag Saturday morning. She called Honey and asked her to meet up at the beach this afternoon, giving her all morning to rehearse. The moment she began said rehearsal, someone unexpectedly gave her a call. She thought she¡¯d never hear from him again.


    ¡°Sam?¡± She answered in genuine surprise.


    ¡°Hey¡­ can we talk? I just¡­ I need to say something to you.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m-¡±


    ¡°Please? It won¡¯t be long, I promise.¡±


    Sonia remembered the last time she saw him, and wondered how he was doing. ¡°Ok, fine.¡±


    ¡°You know the cafe by the beach where we all met? Meet me there ASAP. I¡¯m already here anyway.¡±


    She already planned to meet Honey there this afternoon. ¡°Ok.¡± It seems she would have to rehearse in the car.


    With a stack full of bright orange post-it notes in her hand, they drove off to the beach. She wrote down all her thoughts on the car, trying to craft all of them together into a neat and cheesy speech.


    ¡°What are you gonna write?¡±


    ¡°My feelings. And that¡¯s it. It doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s not grammatically correct or phrased properly.¡±


    ¡°Hm, really?¡±


    She nodded firmly. ¡°So what if it¡¯s broken English in¡­ bullet points¡­¡± She thought saying it out would¡¯ve made it more persuasive.


    ¡°Yeah, so what?¡±


    ¡°So what?¡±


    ¡°Who taught you, ¡®so what¡¯? Was it my book?¡±


    She scratched her head. ¡°I didn¡¯t finish it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m already happy that you read even a word of it.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    She wrote down more abstract thoughts and sensations that came to mind, hoping it would all come together eventually. Nothing made sense so far. The blinding sun and speed bumps did nothing to help.


    Soon, they arrived at their destination, and her mother wished her the best, ¡°Good luck little genius.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± Sonia declared as sincerely as she could. She gave her mother a hug, ¡°You know that one time I asked you why I kept failing my tests and you said I wasn¡¯t the studying type?¡±


    ¡°Hm? Yeah.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean by that?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re never good at sitting down and focusing on something for very long, unless it¡¯s Charlie Chaplin.¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡± She wondered how she had never noticed this about herself.


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Ok, thanks.¡±


    She made her way to the cafe where Sam asked to meet. In the early morning, there was barely anyone here, and he sat on the inside with a cup of coffee half empty. Beside him sat his adorable little brother, whom she met for the first time. ¡°Sorry, I can¡¯t just leave him home.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ why¡¯d you call me here? What do you want?¡±


    ¡°To apologise.¡±


    Sonia crossed her arm, finding potential for redemption in his eyes.

 Apologize Pt 1

    ¡°What do I do now?¡± He helplessly cried out to the cushions. Slumped over the couch, he thought back to the fight he had with them for the thousandth time. Instinctively, his fingers ran over the injured area, which stung from touch. On the day itself, he desperately used a third of the toilet roll available in the restroom to bandage it up. The red line travelled across the length of his arm, stopping an inch before his elbow. It felt like fire, and the tissues soaked red a little, which scared him to death. Did he need to go to the emergency room? Was the cut deep enough that stitching is required?


    With most of the clot formed along the line, Sam rested easy knowing it would heal with time, but the issue of his two beloved friends leaving him behind remains unsolved. Nothing would recover, he burnt the bridge to ashes and then flushed the ashes away down a bottomless pit; there¡¯s nothing left.


    He looked at Joe, who sat on the floor with back hunched, engrossed in his books. He brought Joe to the library every weekend and borrowed him a new book, which cost them nothing. Joe had now expanded his tastes from zombies to aliens.


    Without Sonia and Honey, he would be truly alone, like what Honey always feared. He can¡¯t go another second thinking about how much they resented him. He needed to make amends, even if he didn¡¯t know how.


    **


    Pulling out a precious ten-dollar note from his wallet, he bought a coffee for himself and a slice of cake for Joe. He felt a sting when passing the precious note to the cashier, and watched her seal it in the register forever. Only a dollar coin returned.


    The cafe was deserted this early hour of day, and he sat by the entrance patiently waiting for her. The waitresses offered him a smile everytime she passed by, mopping the tables around him. If Sonia plays ball, it would be the first time Joe has met her. Expecting disaster, he debriefed Joe on his gloomy friend.


    ¡°Joe¡­ so you¡¯re gonna meet Sonia for the first time.¡±


    ¡°Yay!¡±


    ¡°If she gets angry, just¡­¡± He looks around, thinking on his feet.


    Before his next idea came to mind, the bells chimed, indicating another customer. The waitress tended to her, but she politely shunned her away, and sat down.


    ¡°So¡­ why¡¯d you call me here? What do you want?¡± She crossed her arms. Her face looked more presentable than usual.


    ¡°To apologise.¡±


    ¡°Hi!¡± Joe announced.


    ¡°Hi.¡± Sonia dismissed. Sam placed a finger over his lip, signalling to Joe to stay quiet.


    ¡°Sorry, I can¡¯t just leave him home.¡± He said.


    ¡°And your parents are working?¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°Ok. So get to it. What do you wanna apologise for?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ for pushing you¡­ and trying to destroy the set.¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m sorry if I scared you.¡±


    ¡°If?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were scared until I saw you behind Honey. I wasn¡¯t thinking.¡±


    ¡°Mhm. Is that it?¡±


    He shrugged, what else is there to do? ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s all I wanted to say.¡±


    ¡°Ok, then bye.¡± She stood up.


    ¡°Wait- wait.¡±


    She sat back down.


    ¡°Can we at least just have breakfast here?¡±


    ¡°Why? You have nothing left to say right?¡±


    ¡°I know, but-¡±


    ¡°So why do you still want me to stay here? You don¡¯t even like being around me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true!¡±


    She raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°You¡¯re my friend.¡±


    ¡°Am I?¡±


    ¡°Yes, why would you-¡± It surprised him that he somehow forgot about it for a second, ¡°Right, but¡­ you are my friend.¡±


    ¡°Am I?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I swear.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Why am I your friend? Why do you wanna be friends with me?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean why? We built the film club together!¡±


    ¡°What about Honey?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, her too. You¡¯ve been there since day one, we helped her move.¡±


    ¡°Ok, and why did you do all of that?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t- What do you want me to say?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you hate me?¡±


    ¡°No I don¡¯t¡­ Well not anymore.¡±


    ¡°Then how do you feel about me now?¡±


    He took a sip of a coffee to stall. What was she trying to do? ¡°I want to be friends again. Like we used to.¡±


    ¡°And what does that mean?¡±


    ¡°Like¡­ when we used to have lunch¡­ and you would read people¡¯s minds.¡±


    ¡°Why do you think we don¡¯t do that anymore?¡±


    ¡°Because you got- I mean- because I started to judge you.¡±


    ¡°And why did you start judging me?¡±


    ¡°You started to become mean!¡± It slipped out. Was he trying to shoot himself in the foot? ¡°And I¡­ started to become¡­ like¡­ I stopped thinking about you- like¡­ like-¡±


    ¡°Proud?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I became¡­ proud.¡± It reminded him of his Dad and his Uncle, which made her words more potent than intended.


    ¡°So are you here to listen to me now?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I- yeah, ok.¡±


    She shifted a little in his seat, and ordered a cup of tea. ¡°I don¡¯t like coffee.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ok.¡± Was he supposed to memorize this?


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    She continued squirming around in her chair. ¡°This chair is¡­¡± She rocked back and forth, which sparked Joe to follow along. She got up, pushed the chair to the side, and pulled another chair to replace it. ¡°Uneven.¡±


    ¡°Oh, sorry.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ ok.¡± He played with his thumbs, unsure of what to say or do next.


    ¡°Look¡­ Sam¡­ What you did really hurt us. Honey especially.¡±


    ¡°I know-¡±


    ¡°Do you?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ I-¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a rhetorical question. Do you know how much you hurt her?¡±


    Should he answer honestly?


    ¡°In your own words, I can read your mind, so don¡¯t even lie to me.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ then no. I don¡¯t know exactly.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a reason why she doesn¡¯t have any friends besides us two, despite being the prettiest girl alive.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± He had to recalibrate for a second when he heard a compliment slip out from her mouth.


    ¡°Oh yeah. We¡¯re together now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, oh¡­ Oh? Oh!¡± Each ¡®oh¡¯ conveyed a different emotion; confusion, disappointment, more confusion, shock. ¡°Oh!¡± Congratulatory.


    For the first time in his life, he saw Sonia smile.


    ¡°How did that happen?¡± He asked.


    ¡°Well¡­ it was always there¡­ we just finally¡­ decided to see what was in front of us all along.¡±


    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s amazing.¡±


    ¡°Really? You really think I¡¯m a good fit for her?¡± Was that question sarcastic or genuine?


    ¡°Well¡­ better than me¡­ or any of her exes.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± Sonia checked her phone and looked out for a moment.


    ¡°I¡¯m full!¡± Joe suddenly yelled, pushing an empty plate towards him.


    ¡°Ok, go wash your hands.¡±


    Joe slid off the chair and ran to the sink.


    ¡°How old is he?¡± Sonia asked.


    ¡°Five.¡±


    ¡°You treat him pretty well.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°You want someone to treat you the same way, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I- uh-¡± Her sixth sense went off again. ¡°Sure.¡±


    They left the restaurant and headed for the shore once Joe returned. Joe immediately charged into a wave before Sam could object, dirtying his only clothes. The two sat by the shore, watching him duel against saltwater with his tiny fists. He drilled a finger into the sand, watching the flat terrain crumble upon touch.


    They said nothing for a long time, simply existing next to each other. He looked at Sonia, and judging from her expressions, could tell she enjoyed sitting here. Sonia and Honey¡¯s relationship weighed on him, reminding him of his isolation. It felt like one final kick from the cruel mistress of fate, taunting him with the one thing he wanted most, but he knew better now than to blame Sonia for it. No one¡¯s at fault for how fate treats him.


    ¡°Raft released yesterday. Episode one of five.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Erin made it a mini-series. Episode one is out. Now they¡¯re all scrambling to hold a premiere like last time.¡±


    ¡°Oh, cool.¡±


    ¡°Do you like filmmaking, Sam?¡± The question felt oddly jagged.


    ¡°Well¡­ not anymore.¡±


    ¡°Did you ever like it to begin with? Or was it really just a means to an end?¡±


    ¡°Probably¡­¡±


    Sonia shook her head. ¡°You¡¯re so freaking desperate man.¡±


    ¡°Ha-ha, what?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so desperate to catch up to everyone else.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I guess?¡±


    ¡°To your cousins especially, right? I remember you talking about them once.¡±


    ¡°Woah, you remember that? That was so long ago.¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°How are they?¡±


    ¡°Fine¡­ as always.¡±


    ¡°You know Honey came from a rich family, and look how all of that turned out?¡±


    ¡°I know, I know, money is the root of all evil and corruption and being entitled blah-blah-blah, I know¡­ but if I was rich I wouldn¡¯t be like that.¡±


    Sonia laughed.


    ¡°What?¡± It hit him again, and he wondered how he forgot about it again. ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°Look!¡± Joe yelled, holding something small in his hand. The figure moved slightly, revealing cute button eyes underneath its shell. ¡°It¡¯s a hermit crab!¡±


    ¡°Yes, well done. Put it down Joe.¡± Sam advised.


    Joe ran back to the waves for a rematch.


    ¡°You¡¯ll be successful Sam, I trust you.¡± Her words pumped adrenaline within him.


    He chuckled dismissively, ¡°Even with¡­ everything that puts me behind the starting line?¡±


    ¡°Dude, if the race is rigged, stop competing!¡±


    ¡°Then I lose!¡±


    ¡°Sam! Running isn¡¯t the only sport you can compete in! Do you know how many sports there are in the world?¡±


    ¡°I guess, but-¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll find a competition that¡¯s fair, and then you¡¯ll win, since you¡¯ve been racing at a disadvantage your whole life.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ ok¡­ but how am I even supposed to- ok can we move away from the metaphor this is getting confusing- what else can I even do? Everything I do¡­ I always just¡­ fail, and the harder I try to win the harder I lose.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re talking to the girl who failed every single test in primary school, and you dare say you¡¯re the one who always fails? Come on man.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± He found it humorous. ¡°I even failed at failing the most.¡±


    They exchanged a few laughs.


    **


    The sun hung only a few inches away from them, sending a deadly laser of heat towards them. Sam shouted for Joe to leave, and they all sought refuge under a nearby tree. Joe helplessly wiped the seawater away from every part of his body, holding himself together. As hard as she tries, Sonia refuses to sit on the grass.


    ¡°Honey¡¯s coming in ten minutes, I don¡¯t think she¡¯d wanna see you.¡±


    ¡°Wait what? Why?¡±


    ¡°I was gonna meet her here for something else until you called me.¡±


    ¡°For what?¡±


    She looked away and blanked for a long second. ¡°Couple stuff. You don¡¯t have to be around to see it.¡±


    ¡°Aw!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll break your jaw!¡±


    ¡°I want to apologise to her too.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t wanna hear it.¡±


    ¡°But I have to-¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not about you. She doesn¡¯t wanna hear it.¡±


    ¡°Can I at least try? I¡¯ll leave if she hates me.¡±


    Sonia prances about for a moment. ¡°Fine, but once she tells you to leave, leave.¡±


    ¡°Ok, deal.¡±

 Apologise Pt 2

    ¡°Just give him a chance to say what he wants, okay? And then I¡¯ll get rid of him¡­¡± Sonia walked in circles around the tree, hands pinching her forehead. ¡°Yes¡­ he won¡¯t fight back, I mean, he can¡¯t.¡± His eyes drift to her bag, and its silky black contents. ¡°You know how he¡¯s like, and you know damn well- no- I get it- Ok- Wh- Imagine if you never gave me the dress and apologised! How terrible would I feel?¡± By the time she hung up, Joe was completely dried up.


    ¡°You have approximately five minutes to say your piece before you have to leave, unless you can convince her to not chase you away.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± Five minutes offered more than enough time to express his apologies.


    Honey wore the widest smile when she arrived, squealing in typical fashion and giving Sonia a warm embrace, and then immediately changed her expression to a bloodshot stare as they locked eyes. ¡°You have five minutes to say whatever nonsense you wanna say, and then leave or she¡¯ll break your jaw.¡±


    Sam gulped, feeling intimidated by Honey for the first time, ¡°Ok. I just wanted to say I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡±


    ¡°For¡­ scaring you and Sonia¡­ and for pushing her¡­¡±


    ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°And for destroying the set that she worked hard on to create.¡±


    ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°And for being proud and insulting her.¡±


    ¡°And?¡± She raised her voice, baring fangs on both ends of her mouth.


    ¡°And for being a terrible team leader before, and for treating you like a prize and snooping around your cupboards and drawers and finding out about your secret bottle of perfume.¡±


    ¡°And?¡± She screamed. Sam thought he had covered every one of his crimes. He noticed the clenched fists by her sides.


    ¡°I know I can do better, and I should¡¯ve. I was being stupid and proud, and I regret what I did, I really did, okay? You¡¯re my friend! And I can¡¯t believe I did that to you¡­ I wasn¡¯t thinking straight¡­ I was¡­¡± He refused to admit the truth to himself, but knew he had to. ¡°I was Hulk-ing out. This is my club, hulk smash¡­¡± He mocked unenthusiastically.


    ¡°And?¡± She shrieked, which made Sonia close her ears on instinct.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know. I just wanted to apologise, I guess I¡¯ll leave, let¡¯s go Joe.¡±


    ¡°Wow!¡± She clapped her hands violently. ¡°You¡¯re gonna apologise for everything except the one big thing? Even as you say how oh¡­ how much you regret it¡­ and oh¡­ how much you hate yourself. I cannot believe I ever- ever thought you¡¯d make a good boyfriend to me, or to anyone!¡±


    ¡°What! What else do you want me to say?¡±


    ¡°Really? That¡¯s how conceited you are? You just can¡¯t even think of it?¡±


    ¡°No! I¡¯ve said my piece, I¡¯m leaving okay? I¡¯m happy that you two are together now, and I hope your couple stuff goes well.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯re really not gonna apologise for molesting her?¡± She pointed to Sonia.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Or did you forget where your slimy hands were when you pushed her!¡±


    ¡°I already said, I pushed her shoulder! Shoulder!¡±


    ¡°Oh, oh, my mistake, it¡¯s okay when you touch her on the shoulder¡­ Ah I see, you didn¡¯t touch the no-no zone, so you did nothing wrong¡­¡± She pierced deep into his eyes.


    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok, I¡¯m sorry for touching her at all, okay?¡±


    ¡°Oh, so now you¡¯re apologising? After I painted the entire picture for you and guided you here with a map? So only now you¡¯re apologising for it? So you only apologise when you see the error of your ways? Oh, oh, okay, okay, yeah, okay. Go kill yourself.¡±


    ¡°Help me¡­¡± He mouthed to Sonia.


    ¡°I¡¯m not interfering.¡± She said. ¡°And Honey¡¯s not wrong.¡±


    ¡°Ok, what can I say to make it better?¡±


    ¡°Nothing! I don¡¯t need you- to make it better. Leave!¡±


    ¡°Look, episode one of Raft released, can we at least watch that before we go? Come on, I know I messed up but we¡¯re still friends right? I promise I¡¯ll change, I swear!¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ because when you change, we magically forget what happened and we¡¯re magically okay again?¡±


    Sam hit a dead end. ¡°Can we just watch it together? Please?¡± He felt like crying. ¡°Sonia¡¯s forgiven me.¡±


    ¡°So I¡¯m just gonna follow my girlfriend¡¯s footsteps like I¡¯m her slave or like I¡¯m codependent or something? I don¡¯t know why she would forgive you but you got lucky! And you better hope she doesn¡¯t change her mind. Leave.¡±


    ¡°Can you say something?¡± He looked to Sonia.


    Sonia placed a hand on Honey¡¯s shoulder, ¡°She gave her answer dude, leave. You promised.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡±


    ¡°My answer remains the same provided you leave right now.¡±


    ¡°Joe, we¡¯re going home.¡± He announced.


    With nowhere left to turn, he obliged. Joe quickly tagged along, and they made their pathetic trip to the cab station. He turned back, seeing the two girls shrink to the size of ants as they leaned onto each other. From his deductions, he guessed that Honey began crying.


    The cab took an eternity to arrive, and he continued watching the two ants. They sat down, presumably for a picnic at the wrong time of day, and then one ant quickly ran off. It came back a few minutes later, sending the other ant in awe. The ants held hands, and then all of a sudden, their heads joined together, and then their bodies, merging into one shadow for a brief moment. He slammed the bench in anger, cursing himself out for not making a better apology. He ruined the two, and now they left him behind in ruins.


    **


    He staked out the lecture hall on Monday afternoon, waiting for everyone to leave before sneaking in. His goal there was still unclear, but he simply wanted to see the venue again, and take one last trip down memory lane. Completely deserted, it looked exactly like it was the day they entered.


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    ¡°How are we supposed to film in a lecture hall!¡± Sonia immediately complained upon first sight. Sam only saw opportunities back then, already unzipping his camera bag. Honey sat down immediately, eyes glued to her phone.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have to film here, this can just be where we meet, and then we just film elsewhere.¡± Sam suggested. Her whining began to grow repulsive. ¡°But at least we have an official club! Now all we need is obviously more people to sign up and an idea to film.¡±


    Their first film was so atrocious they didn¡¯t bother to title it. ¡®Untitled Romance Movie¡¯ became the nickname, and it told the short and simple story of a breakup between Honey and Ben. The script was two and a half pages long, and in Sam¡¯s eyes, was simply a trial run to test the waters. Sonia rolled her eyes at every step of production, having gripes over every little imperfection. ¡°The film won¡¯t be perfect, nothing is perfect.¡± He advised, but he should¡¯ve known it¡¯d be harder to rid her of her perfectionism.


    Their second film, titled ¡®People¡¯, fared even worse. Thanks to the insistence on improving the writing, the project didn¡¯t even make it to production. He¡¯d write a draft, and Sonia would burn it to the ground, and then he¡¯d make edits according to her suggestions and she¡¯d still burn it to the ground, all the while Honey stared at her phone while Ben stared at his sketchbook. A student joined them briefly, but after enduring one quarrel; he left.


    Third film, ¡®Blood Orange¡¯ , also referred to as ¡®Sonia¡¯s worst nightmare¡¯. An overly ambitious action film, it somehow made Sonia a more dreadful and cynical team member.  She despised the action genre like he had never seen before, going on rant after rant about its absence in worth and craft and other mumble-jumble terminology she came up with. She went after all his favourites, then all his cousins¡¯ favourites, and finally, just when he had enough, she went after him. She insulted his taste, she insulted him as a filmmaker, and she even dared insult his hero Uncle, calling his films cliche. From that day on the two waged a war.


    Fourth film, ¡®Singing Doll¡¯, he-


    ¡°Oh hey.¡± Erin said. He somehow missed her.


    ¡°Uh¡­ hi.¡±


    She packed her belongings on the front row. ¡°What¡¯re you doing here?¡±


    He rubbed his eyes, which had gotten wet. ¡°Uh¡­ nothing.¡±


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    He nodded profusely. ¡°I¡¯m not here to do-do anything bad or whatever¡­ just¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ok. I have to lock the door once I leave¡­ so¡­¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s the um- premiere coming along?¡±


    ¡°Good. I¡¯m making popcorn for it.¡±


    Sam sat beside her in the front row.


    ¡°Sonia said you turned it into a mini-series.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I mean¡­ why not right?¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s the um¡­ reception for episode one so far?¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, the entire school is going crazy-¡± She dug her head into her bag, ¡°-look at all these forms! I¡¯ll have to interview them or something¡­¡±


    ¡°Why not let Sonia do it¡­ She has a good eye for talent.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, definitely. But I wanna do some too.¡±


    ¡°Can uh¡­ It¡¯s okay if you¡¯re busy or whatever¡­ but uh¡­ can I watch it?¡±


    ¡°Uh yeah¡­ I¡¯ll send you a link-¡±


    ¡°On the screen¡­ I mean. The projector screen.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ uh¡­¡± She checked her phone. ¡°Yeah, okay¡­ why not?¡±


    Erin headed to the stage and flashed the finished product on the screen with a few clicks. ¡°Ok¡­ volume should be good¡­ and¡­ play!¡± She dashed back to her seat and yawned a little, ¡°Sorry, long day¡­ Exams are coming.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Sam watched it as attentive as he could, clearing his mind from any biases or pre-conceived pride. Surprisingly, the green screen looked more realistic than he expected.


    ¡°Oh my god, this scene took forever!¡± Erin let out. ¡°We had a head-ache trying to get the lighting right in post- just ugh- that¡¯s a day of my life I¡¯ll never get back.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t fix everything in post.¡± Sam said.


    ¡°Damn right you can¡¯t.¡±


    The film continued with Erin providing insightful director¡¯s commentary, despite not being the director. By the time the credits rolled, Sam was hooked and craved more.


    ¡°Wow¡­ that was actually not bad.¡± He said.


    ¡°Aw, thanks. I thought it was garbage¡­¡±


    ¡°No it¡¯s not, it¡¯s actually good. Be easier on yourself.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I know¡­ and thanks.¡±


    They gave each other an affirming nod.


    ¡°Oh! Oh! And I also got like a bloopers reel if you wanna watch that.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    Erin put it on, and cheesy guitar melodies played. ¡°I couldn¡¯t be bothered to score a blooper reel with a cello.¡±


    It showed Honey forgetting her lines, which would¡¯ve made him livid and flip out in rage, but instead he heard everyone laughing at her blunder. Honey then accidentally bumped into a light stand, almost causing a second accident.


    ¡°Oh my god, thank god Sonia was there to catch it.¡± Erin commented.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ she¡¯s a pretty good actress.¡± Sam said.


    ¡°She is, isn¡¯t she?¡±


    ¡°The best one I know.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ thanks for recruiting me into the club¡­ like so many months ago. I never knew filmmaking could be this fun.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re welcome. And I¡¯m glad you¡¯re the leader now. You¡¯re running things pretty well.¡±


    ¡°Stop it, everyone keeps saying that!¡±


    ¡°Sonia and I gave you a pretty low bar to hit.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, you three kept fighting and fighting and fighting, it¡¯s insane.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ well¡­ we won¡¯t be fighting anymore.¡±


    ¡°Oh! You guys sorted your stuff out?¡±


    ¡°You could say that.¡± Sam smiled painfully.


    ¡°Ugh¡­ now I gotta think about how to follow up that ending!¡± Erin complained. ¡°I know Sonia¡¯s the writer and all but I wanna pitch ideas, but I have no idea what else they¡¯d do after they get on the raft. And oh my god, making an ocean set, oh dear god¡­ As if the green screen wasn¡¯t already making life hell in the editing room.¡±


    Sam chuckled, ¡°Maybe we can brainstorm a little bit. Why not? I got some ideas.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­ sure, thanks.¡±


    ¡°Maybe¡­ after they get on the raft, they start trying to swim somewhere else, but they keep arguing on where to go.¡±


    ¡°Ooh¡­ yeah, and then there could be a shark and it could be like a ¡®Jaws¡¯ parody¡­¡±


    ¡°And then one of them gets eaten by the sharks.¡±


    ¡°But then they somehow survive and get superpowers, okay this is getting insane but I love it.¡± Erin giggled.


    ¡°And then he¡¯s half man half shark, and he wants to eat his friends but he can¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°And then the other sharks are like a bad influence and he runs off with them and leads a new life.¡±


    ¡°And he becomes like the king of the ocean and gives his friends a nice play to stay in his palace.¡±


    They continued building on the ridiculous plot, compounding on ridiculousness until the narrative collapsed under its own weight. They laughed their hearts out, jotting these ideas down on the board as they went, turning a simple story about survivors at sea to a global conspiracy surrounding a specific species of superpowered shark-people. Neither of them would remember the story¡¯s humble origins of the raft until they went home, reflecting on the monstrosity of a tale they fabricated and realising how far it deviated from the source material. Erin concluded that it might be better to let Sonia do the brainstorming for episode two.