《Through Hell To Find You (A Mass Effect Fanfiction)》


 Chapter 1

    Commander Shepard gasped and awoke only to find himself half-buried in dust and rubble, blind in his left eye.


    His limbs ached with the dull agony of broken bones. White-hot pain racked his every nerve, as if he was melting in acid. And beneath his armor, blood leaked out of his numerous open wounds and rolled down his skin like crimson tears.


    He tried to scream, to move, to dosomethingabout his situation. But his body wouldn''t cooperate. His scream came out only as a wet gurgle, and the crushing weight atop him felt as heavy as a mountain.


    His pulse surged as he started to panic.


    But then his N7 training kicked in.


    He closed his remaining eye, and took a deep, controlled breath through his nose. Slowly, he counted to ten.


    What happened? How did he get here?


    Again, he opened his eye, and took in his surroundings. Yes, he was on the Citadel. Miles above him, one of its arms had shattered in two, and the smoldering wreck of one fragment was drifting through the void amidst a debris field of frozen corpses, ruined warships¡­and dead Reapers.


    "Either we destroy them, or they destroy us."


    "You did good, son. You did good. I''m¡­proud of you."


    Anderson''s words rang through his mind, and for a moment he couldn''t breathe. Yes, the Illusive Man had made him shoot his mentor, his father in all but name. And now, he was dead.


    Just another of those frozen corpses.


    He gritted his teeth.


    "The created will always rebel against their Creators."


    Yes, on the Crucible, he chose to destroy all synthetic life¡­to willingly sacrifice the Geth and EDI.


    "Does this unit have a soul?"


    "But only now do I feel alive. That is your influence."


    A cold, emptiness filled his chest, and a tear rolled down his cheek. They were just beginning to become more than just machines. And he had betrayed them. He had murdered them all, so that organics could live and enjoy a hollow victory.


    But he had no choice¡­right?


    What was he supposed to do?


    That fucking god-child''s other options were unthinkable ¨C complete madness! No man had the right to make such decisions!


    Both would have spat on everything he and his crew had fought for. Both meant the Reapers got to escape punishment for their crimes.


    And both ensured he would never see hissaeraagain.


    His pulse surged.Tali!


    Briefly, he looked back to their night before the final battle for Earth, remembering the feel of her skin, the sound of her voice, and the taste of her sweet, tangy kisses.


    "Don''t leave me behind."


    "I have a home."


    "Come back to me."


    His heart sank, and the cold emptiness in his chest expanded, racking his lungs.Oh god, please be safe. Please be okay.If she was alive, then she was suffering through a psychological hell beyond anything he nor any non-quarian could imagine. To quarians, nothing was more agonzing than losing their lifemate,the other half of their soul.


    "I want¡­I want more time."


    "If we survive this war, I swear you''ll have it, all the time you could ever want. Do you understand me?"


    "Come back to me."


    Tears ran down his cheek. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Again and again, those four words pounded in his skull. He opened his eye.


    NO!


    He would not die like this, not when his beloved needed him. If she was still alive, then he would endure anything to come back to her and fulfill his promise. Nothing would stop him!


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    Have to get up. I''ll die before rescue teams find me here.


    Closing his eye, he tapped into his biotics and created a mass-effect field around the rubble atop him, lowering its mass. He took a deep breath through his nose.


    3¡­2¡­1¡­


    He sat up as explosively as possible. Star-hot bolts of agony tore through his insides, and he nearly passed out. Once he was sitting, he hacked up blood as though his throat and lungs were full of broken glass. His vision went blurry, and he wheezed and panted, just barely managing to remain conscious. His mind screamed for him to lay down, to give up and just accept that he was going to die.


    But he squashed any such urges with every ounce of discipline within him.


    When his vision cleared, he checked his body. His left hand was a blackened, mangled ruin, and many sections of his armor had melted and fused with his skin. But thankfully, his omni-tool was still working, along with many of his armor''s medical programs, fibro-muscles, and servo-joints. One such medical program had secured his shattered left leg in a splint, and would direct the armor''s fibro-muscles and servo-joints to ease it of any loads.


    Immediately, he applied what medigel he had left to his torso, his legs, and his face. Icy pain racked those areas, and he gritted his teeth and grunted, huffing through his nose.Should stave off the bleeding.


    Next, he activated his omni-tool''s emergency SOS beacon. If he moved to a more open, exposed area, nearby ships would be far more likely to detect it.


    But first, he had to stand up.


    Again, he tapped into his biotics and created another mass effect field around the rubble atop his legs, lowering its mass as much as he could. He closed his eye, then took a deep breath.Just get this over with.


    3¡­2¡­1¡­


    In one explosive movement, he sprang to his feet, and searing pain shot up his legs and throbbed in his knees. Gravity beared down on him with terrible force, and every second he battled to remain standing.


    Panting, he looked around. He couldn''t tell where he was. Around him lay only dust, rubble, and blackened ruins. Where should he go?


    Far in the distance, he spotted a keeper in a wide, open area, performing maintenance on a still-functioning Avina terminal. Yes, in such an area, he''d stick out like a sore thumb. Nearby ships would surely detect his SOS beacon, and any rescue team would have no trouble finding him. Hell, they could land their shuttle right next to him.


    He just had to get there.


    He took his first few steps, and every one of them ravaged his broken body with firestorms of agony. His mind begged for him to stop, to give up and collapse onto the ground. But he pressed on. Gritting his teeth, he took one step after the other, panting and grunting, squashing any urge to accept defeat.


    But gradually, the pain intensified. Every step sapped more and more of his willpower, and his destination felt further and further away. Soon, he began to stumble. Soon, his vision grew blurry, and his consciousness started slipping.


    Again, he stumbled, then fell onto his hands and knees. He tried to stand, but limbs felt too heavy. Black spots popped up in his vision, and every rational part of his mind screamed that he should stop fighting the inevitable, that he should just lay down and surrender to death''s cold embrace.No¡­this¡­this isn''t the end.


    As his vision darkened, he thought of Tali, of the bliss that coursed through him whenever he saw her beautiful face, or heard her adorable laugh. His mind flashed to when he left her behind.


    "I have a home."


    "Come back to me."


    Once more, those four words echoed and reverberated in his mind. Every second, they got louder and louder, striking hammer blows against the inside of his skull. Digging his remaining fingers into the ground, he clenched his jaw. Tears rolled down his cheeks, then dripped down onto the ash and dust below.


    No, he couldn''t fail her. He couldn''t abandon her when she needed him most.


    "If we survive this war, I swear you''ll have it, all the time you could ever want. Do you understand me?"


    "I have no doubt you will."


    Roaring in fury, he got back onto his feet, then soldiered on. As he did so, the pain seared his nerves with such intensity that he yearned for death, for anything that would end this nightmare. But the whole time, he focused on his beloved,on those last four words she had said to him.


    And they fueled him with the strength to go on.


    His armor''s left-knee servo-joint gave out, and he fell onto his chest just a few feet away from an upward slope leading to his destination. Needle sharp pain ravaged his left knee, and he groaned like a dying animal.


    But nonetheless, he began to crawl his way up the slope.


    As he did so, every minute felt like hours. One after the other, he passed by blackened corpses of turians, humans, and asari still half-buried beneath the rubble, their faces locked in silent screams, their eye sockets empty. And several times, he nearly passed out when the pain became all-consuming.


    But eventually, he made it to the top.


    Grunting and groaning, he crawled his way to the Avina terminal, then managed to prop his back against its frame. He closed his eyes, and for several minutes he just rested, catching his breath. Now, he just had to wait.


    Eventually, something whooshed above. He opened his eyes, and looked to his right, only to spot a shuttle flying off into the distance. He wanted to cry out and wave his arms, to do something to get its attention. But his strength was spent. He couldn''t muster the energy to even stand. Soon, the shuttle disappeared from view.


    He sighed. Eventually, someone had to find him¡­right?


    Slowly, his vision darkened and blurred, and every second he fought to stay conscious. Damn it. He was still bleeding. The Cerberus nanites in his blood could only clot his wounds so fast. No matter what, he had to stay awake until a rescue team arrived.


    But how?


    He looked at the utility pouch strapped to his right leg. Was it still there? He opened the pouch, then sifted through its contents, only to pull out what he wanted.


    Miraculously, Tali''s photo was still in good condition, caked with only a bit of dust and his own blood. Just before the final battle for Earth, he had brought it along with him in case a situation like this ever happened. With it, her beautiful face would be the last thing he ever saw.


    But now, it only reminded him of why he had to live.


    As the minutes ticked by, he held the photo with both hands and stared into Tali''s eyes, holding on to awareness with every ounce of willpower he had left. But soon, he was slipping in and out of consciousness. Later, the hum and whine of shuttle engines filled the air.


    "There he is!" a voice called. It had an Australian accent.


    Figures were rushing towards him, saying things he couldn''t make out. Once more, he looked at the photo.I''m coming, saera. Wherever you are¡­just¡­hold on¡­hold on a little longer.


    And then everything went black.

 Chapter 2

    On the lower level of the Normandy''s engineering deck, Tali''Zorah was crouching by an exposed access panel, replacing the fried components within with fresh ones she''d gathered from the cargo bay. Ten days had passed since the ship had crash-landed on this det kazuat of a planet. But repairs were going painfully slow. For this ship to once again become space-worthy, she practically had to tear it apart, then put it back together.


    She yawned. Her eyelids felt heavy, and the fog in her head clouded her senses. Ceaselessly, her body begged her to stop working, to go to deck 1 and once again cry herself to sleep. But she couldn''t rest now, at least not for another two hours. By then, she''d get just enough rest to function during the ship''s next day cycle, but not enough to dream.


    To have nightmares.


    The door above her opened with a metallic whine, and she cringed and botched her soldering work. Oh, not this again. She hated it when people came to talk to her. Every time they tried to make her feel better, they only made things worse. They only dug up memories of her bondmate.


    Memories that broke her.


    "Tali?" Garrus called. "Tali, wherever you are, come out."


    She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, bracing herself for the conversation to come. "What do you want?" she asked, keeping her voice as calm and emotionless as possible.


    Garrus took the stairs down to the deck''s lower level, then approached her. "Do you have any idea what time it is? The whole crew will wake up in just under an hour."


    "I''m aware."


    Garrus huffed. "Just minutes ago, Adams, Ken, and Gabby woke me up and begged me to force you to take a week off. And you know what, I agree," His gaze met hers, "you''re killing yourself, Tali. Everyone on this ship cares about you, but every time someone has tried to help you, you''ve pushed them away. This has to stop."


    She clenched her jaw and growled. He wasn''t quarian, so how could he ever understand the soul-crushing agony of Felz''elt? It was so easy for him to recover from this kind of loss. "The more I rest, the longer it will take to finish these repairs. Do you not want to get off this planet?"


    "We both know that''s not why you''re doing this," Garrus said.


    She broke eye contact and looked down at the deck, sneering and gritting her teeth. A cold emptiness swelled in her chest. Her eyes stung, and she battled the urge to cry. Keelah, why couldn''t he just leave her alone? When would he realize that she was beyond saving, that she was broken with no hope of recovery?


    He took a deep breath through his nose, his eyes brimming with concern, "Look, I know how much you''ve been suffering lately. What happened on Earth¡­it wasn''t fair. But one way or another, you need to move on. Shepard''s death has been hard¨C"


    She stopped listening. Like a bursting dam, the memories came flooding back.


    Her mind flashed back to her time on the SR-1, to the giddiness that surged through her when he swept her away on the adventure of a lifetime.


    "Your ship''s amazing, Shepard. I''ve never seen a drive core like this before."


    It flashed back to their reunion on Freedom''s Progress, to when she wept tears of joy, knowing a long nightmare had finally ended.


    "John? Is that¡­is that you?"


    It flashed back to when he confessed his feelings for her, to when she realized that her dreams weren''t just childish fantasies.


    "I don''t want anyone else. I want you."


    It flashed back to their magical first night together, to the feast of sensations that left her sweating and gasping.


    "This will only be the first of many wonderful memories we''ll share with each other. I promise."


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    It flashed back to the best day of her life, to when she finally embraced the missing half of her soul.


    "So tell me, Miss Vas Normandy¡­will you be my saera?"


    It flashed back to their night before the final battle for Earth, to when she savored and cherished every second she had with him, trying to form, and then burn as many happy memories into her consciousness as possible.


    "Once we''re on Earth''s surface, know that I''ll be fighting not for the galaxy, but for you and our future."


    Then finally, it flashed back to when he left her behind, to when Felz''elt sunk its claws into her psyche and raked away at her sanity.


    "I have a home."


    "Come back to me."


    Icy pain ravaged her chest and squeezed the breath out of her lungs. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and her hands began to tremble. Abandoning her tools, she shoved past Garrus, then rushed up the stairs, shutting off her audio emitters to muffle her rising sobs.


    "Tali!" Garrus shouted, following her. "Tali!"


    She stepped into the elevator, then closed its door behind him. She took the elevator to deck 1, and canceled the decontamination cycle before entering John''s cabin. With her omni-tool, she locked herself within, then only made it a few steps before collapsing to the floor, unable to hold in her pain any longer.


    She curled into a ball and hugged herself. Her chest heaved with racking sobs, and swelled with icy pain that crushed her lungs. Rocking back and forth, she struggled to breathe. Her eyes stung, and she could hardly see through her tears.


    Just finish the repairs. Just finish the repairs. Just finish the repairs.


    Yes, as soon as they were done, as soon as her crewmates were safe and off this planet, she''d have no more responsibilities. She''d finally get to join the ancestors.


    And see her saera again.


    <hr>


    Garrus Vakarian paced back and forth, clenching his jaw and huffing through his nose. Spirits, since Shepard''s death, nothing was going right. Everything was falling apart.


    Yes, with Shepard gone, the whole ship was always so dreadfully quiet. Nobody ever smiled or laughed, and everybody just wanted to be left alone.


    Especially Tali.


    He growled. Since the crash, his last conversation with her had been the longest exchange she''d had with anyone. But he just had to say something stupid and only make things worse. He clenched his fists. Every time he tried to be like Shepard, he always failed. He always came up short.


    Just like how he did on Omega!


    He roared, then slammed his fist into the bulkhead. Spirits, he needed a drink, anything to calm his nerves. He took the elevator to deck 3, then made his way to the bar. Within, he sat on the nearest barstool and poured himself a glass of turian brandy.


    He took his first sip. How did you do it, Shepard? How did you keep it all together?


    Yes, Shepard had always made leadership and command look so easy. No matter the situation, he was always so calm, so in control. No challenge or setback had ever shaken his confidence or resolve.


    He took another sip. After his sacrifice, humans and turians alike would remember him as one of the greatest warriors to ever live. No doubt, his actions would ripple across history for eons to come.


    He took his third sip, then huffed through his nose. Spirits, what was he going to do? Somehow, he had to bolster the crew''s morale. Somehow, he had to drag Tali out of her pit of despair. He couldn''t just give up on her. She was his sister in all but name, and he''d never forgive himself if he ever allowed her to do anything¡­extreme.


    He finished off his brandy, then poured himself another glass. Briefly, he looked back to when Shepard had left her behind.


    "I have a home."


    "Come back to me."


    Spirits, he had never witnessed anything so sad. Since the SR-1 days, he had watched their love grow, and then bloom into something so beautiful.


    Yet the Reapers just had to shatter it! They just had to murder his best friend, and leave Tali broken and traumatized.


    He sipped his brandy. Spirits, he''d never forget how she reacted when Chakwas had told her the news, how she had locked herself in Shepard''s cabin, refusing to leave for three days. Regularly, he''d go up to deck 1 to check up on her, and leave a few tubes of nutrient paste just outside the door.


    But she''d never respond to his words.


    All he''d hear were here tortured wails permeating through the walls. And spirits, those wails would haunt him for the rest of his life.


    He gulped down the rest of his brandy. Will she ever come back from this? Would she kill herself once they got off this planet, once the crew inevitably disbanded? The thought sent a chill through his insides. Whatever the case, he''d do everything possible to convince her that life was still worth living, that eventually her pain would dissipate to tolerable levels, and that one day she''d find happiness again. Surely, Ashley and Liara would be more than willing to help.


    The door to the lounge opened with a metallic whine. He turned and spotted Traynor stepping inside.


    "Ah, good morning," she said. "I figured I''d find you here."


    Garrus grunted. Why were humans always so fond of announcing the time of day? "What is it? Something I should know?"


    Traynor sighed, then handed him a datapad. "Here''s yesterday''s progress report."


    He began to skim through it. Apparently, the ship''s QEC would be back online in about two months. A month after that, the ship should also become space worthy again, and had just enough fuel to make it to the nearest inhabited system.


    If the relay network ever came back online.


    "If you scroll to the bottom," Traynor said, "there''s something you really ought to know."


    He stopped reading and looked Traynor in the eye. "What?"


    "It''s about our food supply."

 Chapter 3

    Commander Shepard awoke to brain fog clouding his senses, to dull, searing pain radiating through his body. He let out a weak groan. Gradually, his brain fog dissipated. Gradually, his blurry vision cleared, and the voices and noises around him grew more intelligible. Eventually, he found himself staring at the ceiling of a framed, metallic tent.


    Wait. Where was he?


    One moment, he was on the Citadel, and now¨C


    Something clattered to the ground. "He''s awake! He''s awake!"


    He sat up a little and found himself lying on a hospital bed, his body wrapped in slews of bandages, and connected to numerous wires and IVs. Yes, he was in a field hospital, a small medical tent filled with five other patients and three nurses.


    Who were all staring at him, their eyes wide, their mouths agape.


    "Well, I''ll be damned," said the patient to his left, a bald, pale man with a burned, scarred face.


    "How¡­how long?" he managed to ask.


    "About a month," the man said.


    He gasped, and his eyes widened. A month? Had he truly been unconscious for that long? If so, then where was the Normandy? Where was his crew? Where was his beloved?


    And where was her photo?


    His pulse spiked, and for a moment he couldn''t breathe. He sat up fully, then frantically searched all around him. But the photo was nowhere to be found.


    No, no, no. This couldn''t be happening. He couldn''t lose it. Not now!


    "Something wrong?" the man asked.


    "A photo," he snapped. Beside him, the heart rate monitor was beeping faster and faster. "Before I blacked out, I had a photo on me. Where is it?"


    The man raised his eyebrows. "Uhm¡­I don''t know. I haven''t¨C"


    "Shepard!" The voice came from outside the tent. It was a woman with an Australian accent. "Shepard, don''t you dare move!"


    Just then, Miranda stepped into the tent, wearing a set of combat armor instead of her usual catsuit. "Yes, yes, the Commander is alive. Now get back to work."


    The nurses obeyed. Miranda approached him, then sighed and pulled something out of a pouch on her waist. "Looking for this?"


    With one hand, Miranda held up Tali''s photo. Oh, thank god. He let out a deep sigh. His muscles relaxed, and his pulse steadied. "Yes," he said. Briefly, he broke eye contact and pursed his lips. Damn it. He shouldn''t have lost his cool and showed weakness in front of so many strangers. As much as he hated it, he had to be the symbol they needed.


    Once more, he met Miranda''s gaze. "Thanks for keeping it safe. It means a lot."


    "After your help on Horizon, it''s the least I could do," she said. She handed him the photo. It was heavily creased, stained with his own dried blood, but still clear enough to show Tali''sface in all its beauty.


    "Now, lie down," she commanded, gently pushing him back onto the bed. "The more you move, the greater your chances of tearing something."


    "Fine," he said, complying. "Where am I, anyway? What''s happened over the last month, and where''s my crew? Where''s the Normandy?"


    "You''re in London," Miranda said, pressing a few keys on her omni-tool. She opened up a window full of graphs, numerical tables, and anatomical diagrams, "in one of several field hospitals for the wounded. Now, I know you must have many questions, but before I answer them, please tell me¡­how are you feeling?"


    He huffed through his nose. "Battered, burned, and shredded to ribbons¡­but able to function."


    "No headaches? No muscle spasms, temporary paralysis, or crippling abdominal pain?"


    "No," he said. "Why do you ask?"


    "Hhhm, your vitals seem stable, and the nanites and microbots in your blood have repaired most of the damage to your organs. So if that''s the case," she said, "then your remaining cybernetics should be in no danger of malfunctioning¡­at least for now."


    "At least for now?" he asked. He gulped and broke eye contact. Was he a cripple? Had he pushed himself too far? "The damage, how bad is it?"


    Miranda sighed. "I''ll be honest with you, Shepard. When we found you on the Citadel, you were a mess, just a hair''s width away from dying. I''ll spare you the details, but your body had suffered enough punishment to kill the average man three times over. If not for your SOS beacon, we never would have saved you in time ¨C even with your implants and armor doing everything possible to save you. "


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    "What happened after that?" he asked.


    "Before you activated the Crucible, the Reapers had systematically destroyed every hospital and medical ship. So we rushed you here, where you spent the next thirty-one hours in surgery." She broke eye contact, then took a deep breath before meeting his gaze once more. "Your heart stopped twice, and we just barely managed to save your life¡­though not without costs."


    His heart raced, and he began to sweat. "What costs?"


    "To put it simply," she said, "the left side of your body might never be the same again. It''s where you suffered the brunt of your injuries, and¡­we couldn''t save your left eye and most of your left hand. Even after so many stem cell treatments, bone replacements, and other reconstructive procedures, you''ll never have the motor skills you had in your prime. Your countless third and fourth degree burns caused just too much nerve damage."


    He looked away and pursed his lips. "Anything else?"


    "You inhaled enough smoke and dangerous fumes to kill anyone without augmented lungs. So let''s just say you won''t be running marathons anymore ¨C or doing anything too strenuous. Your days of saving the galaxy, I''m afraid, are over."


    "Promise me you''ll retire, saera."


    Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. Finally, he wouldn''t have to fight anymore¡­but at what cost? Even with Talito support him, was he prepared to live the rest of his life as a shell of his former self? Would he ever be able to function normally, to do the simplest tasks without needing constant assistance or endless regimens of medication?


    "The good news," Miranda continued, "is that if you cooperate, and your recovery goes well, you should regain enough functionality to live a comfortable, independent life¡­as a civilian within the next year or two."


    "Then you''ll have my full cooperation," he said. He took a deep breath. "Now, for goodness sake, no more dodging my questions. Where''s the Normandy? Where''s my crew?"


    Miranda looked away and gulped. "Shepard, I don''t know how to tell you this, but since the Crucible blast, there''s been no sign of them." She took a deep breath, then once more met his gaze. "Until we can finish repairs to the comm-buoys and the Charon relay, we can''t send out any scout patrols. So for the time being, they''re on their own. I''m sorry."


    His heart sank. His limbs felt heavy, as though made of lead, and a cold emptiness sprouted in his chest. Were they already dead? On the Citadel, had he fought and clawed to survive for nothing?


    "But I wouldn''t lose hope," she said. "Some ships reported missing after the blast have managed to return. And knowing your crew, it would take a lot more to kill them than just being stranded on a planet, or being derelict in space." She put her hand on his shoulder. "I have no doubt you''ll see them¡­and her again."


    "Yeah," he said, letting his body sink into the bed. As much as he wanted to believe her words, they felt only like meaningless platitudes. At least she''s trying. "Right."


    She sighed. "Anyways. Next week, you should be healed enough for us to start removing some of your bandages. And the week after, you should be ready to start physical therapy. In the meantime, try to get some rest. I''ll go see if I can get you something to eat."


    When she left the tent, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.


    If the worst had happened, then what was he going to do? Without his crew, without Tali, he was completely alone, just half a man in a galaxy that didn''t need him anymore.


    So why get better?


    He opened his eyes, then looked at Tali''s photo, holding it with both hands. Delicately, he trailed two fingers across its surface. Where are you? If you''re still out there, then please¡­be strong. No matter how much you''re suffering, just hold on. Don''t give in.


    The patient to his left cleared his throat. "Sooo¡­It happened to you too, eh?"


    He looked at him. "I''m sorry, what? Who are you anyway?"


    The man extended his hand for a handshake. "Colonel Conor Hayes at your service. It''s an honor to meet you, sir."


    Shepard accepted it. "The honor is mine."


    "But let me guess," Conor said, "the two of you got separated, and you''re not sure if she''s alive."


    "Yeah," Shepard said. Briefly, he looked away and sighed. "Was it that obvious?"


    "Yep," Conor said. "Why else would you ¨C of all people ¨C get so upset over a missing photo? And quite a striking one at that."


    Striking? He clenched his jaw, bracing himself for any rude, xenophobic comments. "What''s that supposed to mean?"


    "Relax, friend," Conor said, "I didn''t mean to offend you. I''m just surprised that quarians are such beauties under those masks, that they''re compatible with humans in, you know¡­that way." He chuckled. "Leave it to someone like you to ''boldly go where no man has gone before''."


    Shepard let out a weak laugh. "So what''s your story? Who''d you get separated from?"


    "My wife and daughters," Conor said. With his omni-tool, he displayed a family photo of himself, an Asari, and their four children. He closed it. "Haven''t seen or heard from them since the war began."


    "I''m sorry," Shepard said. "How did it happen?"


    Conor gulped. "Managed to get them into one of the underground shelters when the Reapers first invaded. But you know what they say¡­ war is chaos. War is hell."


    You''ve got that right. "How did you cope? It couldn''t have been easy."


    "Christ, it was anything but easy," Conor said, breaking eye contact, and letting out a mirthless laugh. He took a deep breath before meeting his gaze once more. "But I knew that if I constantly worried about them I''d only lose my damned mind and get all my men killed. So every day, I vowed to live only in the present moment, to focus only on surviving until tomorrow. And you know what, it worked. Thanks to you and General Anderson, my Regiment and I never lost our fighting spirit. When we covered your advance towards that beam, defending your unit''s flanks and rear, we faced our deaths without an ounce of fear gripping our hearts." He smiled. "Glad to know our sacrifice wasn''t in vain."


    For a moment, Shepard looked towards the ground and pursed his lips. Yes, in war, victory often required necessary sacrifices. But damn it. Nonetheless, he hated it when people died for him like that. When would they realize that he was just a man, not a messiah or a demi-god?


    "Anyways," Conor said, laying back onto his bed, "better we get some rest. Food and meds should be coming soon. So in the meantime¡­try to think about what I said. Hopefully, it helps you."


    "Yeah," Shepard said, relaxing into his bed, "rest sounds good. And what you said, I''ll definitely keep that in mind."


    Conor chuckled. "That''s the spirit."


    Closing his eyes, Shepard took a deep breath. The road to recovery felt painfully long. But if there was any chance, however small, that Tali was still alive, then he would do whatever was necessary to get better and come back to her.


    As Conor just said, he''d endure each day at a time.

 Chapter 4

    She''s sipping Ual tea on the balcony of her cliffside residence, basking under the warmth of Tikkun''s morning rays, when somebody gently wraps their arms around her waist. A familiar scent fills her nostrils, and a soothing warmth courses through her limbs. Closing her eyes, she hums with delight and melts in the embrace.


    John kisses her bare neck. "Good morning, beautiful."


    She smiles and looks up into her lifemate''s handsome, furry face. They share a brief kiss. "Good morning. Is Zhoru still asleep?"


    John laughs. "Last night really tired him out. But let me go check." He kisses the top of her head. "In the meantime, how about you get started on breakfast. I''ll be down to help you shortly."


    John goes back inside. Soon, she finishes her tea, then does so as well. Humming a tune of her mother''s favorite folk song, she enters the kitchen and opens the fridge.


    Then suddenly, the ground quakes with earth-breaking power.


    She loses her balance and tumbles to her side. One after the other, glasses and bowls fall from every shelf and shatter against the floor. Regaining her bearings, she makes it to her feet.


    But then a Reaper horn booms outside, loud enough to split the air.


    Her bowels turn to water. Icy pain racks her chest, and she can''t breathe. No. This can''t be happening. This can''t be real. They''re supposed to be dead!


    "JOHN!" she shouts. She runs up the stairs, then towards Zhoru''s room. "JOHN!"


    She rushes through the door, only to find herself not in her son''s room, but back in the ruins of London, on the downward slope leading to the beam. Briefly, she checks her body, and once more she''s trapped inside her suit, instead of wearing her morning robes.


    At the bottom of the slope, John and her son are walking hand-in-hand towards the beam.


    She sprints after them as fast as her legs will allow. "JOHN!"


    On the way down the slope, she passes by dozens of blackened, mangled corpses strewn amongst the rubble, along with countless burned-out tanks and other armored vehicles. By the time she''s near the bottom, Harbinger descends from the sky, then lands by the beam with a thunderous boom, kicking up a cloud of dust. Its Reaper horn blares loud enough to rattle her bones.


    "JOHN!" she screams, her heart thundering in her chest. Harbinger charges up its cannon, aiming it directly at her family, and she sprints toward them with everything she has. "PLEASE! DON''T GO! DON''T GO!"


    She reaches the bottom of the slope, only to lose her footing and fall onto her chest. Frantically, she gets up. But then Harbinger fires its cannon. A red-hot lance of molten metal spears through the air, then strikes the ground with an ear-splitting boom.


    The blast disintegrates her son and lifemate to ash.


    Tali woke up screaming and thrashing, her heart hammering inside her chest. Panting, she sat up and looked all around, taking in her surroundings. Yes, she was in John''s cabin, in total darkness aside from the blue glow of the nearby fish tank. She glanced at the holo-clock on the nightstand, then took a deep breath before once more laying down.


    She had about an hour before the start of her next shift in engineering. But she had overslept. Two hours ago, she was supposed to help Liara and Traynor forage for food in the local forests, now that levo food stores were running dangerously low. No doubt, they''d tell Garrus about her absence, and inevitably he''d storm up to deck 1 and scold her behavior, saying she needed to spend time around others, to take the steps necessary to heal.


    And move on.


    Move on. Nowadays, no two words left such a vile taste on her tongue. Keelah, how could she simply forget the lost half of her soul, and stop mourning the life they''d never share? As much as she loved her crewmates like family, they were still aliens with¡­different cultures and psychology. So how could they ever understand her pain?


    She sighed. Was this how you felt everyday, father?


    Yes, now, she truly understood his cold, distant demeanor¡­and couldn''t help but feel sorry for him. For her, he had chosen to live on. Despite his agony, he had tried to be the best father he could be. But in the end, he had failed.


    For no quarian survived Felz''elt unchanged.


    A few tears streamed down her cheeks, and she smiled. I forgive you. For the first time in her life, she felt no bitterness or resentment towards him and hoped he was finally at peace with the ancestors, reunited with her mother for eternity. But nonetheless, one thing was certain.


    She would not follow in his footsteps.


    She would not live on as a slave to duty, as a cold, bitter husk of her former self. She was done. She had no love or devotion left to give. And without John, Rannoch was a hollow prize anyway. No future there was worth living.


    She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. But for ten minutes, she tossed and turned. Over and over, that nightmare replayed in her mind.


    A part of her wanted to relive it, if only to feel John''s touch, to relish his scent and the warmth of his body heat. But another part of her wanted to scour it from her mind. Yes, there was no point in fantasizing about the house they''d never have, about the family they''d never raise. That would only drive her to madness.


    Just then, someone knocked on the door, just outside the cabin. "Tali?"


    Closing her eyes, she took a long, deep breath and cringed. It was Garrus. Here we go again.


    Garrus banged on the door. "Tali, come out. Don''t make us come in there."


    Us? Outside the cabin, a brief argument ensued, but she couldn''t make out anything anyone was saying. Just who had he brought along with him?


    "Tali?" Liara asked gently. "Tali, please, come out. We just want to talk."


    "Yeah," Ashley said, "We''re not here to scold or lecture you."


    "Aye," Ken said, "We''re only here to support you, lass."


    "We''re your family," Gabby said.


    "And we won''t just give up on you," Adams said.


    She wanted to tell them to go away, to leave her alone and let her wallow in misery. But eventually, she''d have to come out for her shift in engineering, and no doubt they''d wait there all day. Gritting her teeth, she huffed through her nose, then got out of bed and went to unlock the door. It opened and revealed them waiting outside.


    "What do you want?" she asked.


    "Can we come in?" Liara asked.


    Whether she liked it or not, she knew they''d come in anyway. "Sure. Come in."


    She turned on the lights, then sat on the bed''s edge, while the others sat on the nearby couch.


    Garrus took a deep breath through his nose. "Sooo¡­after I came back from hunting with James and Ashley, Traynor told me you didn''t show up for foraging today, that this is the second time Liara''s spent over an hour trying to get you to come out of this cabin." He sighed. "I guess I shouldn''t be surprised. I thought keeping busy and interacting with others would help you heal and recover. But it looks like I was wrong. Over the past month, you''ve only been getting worse every day."


    She looked towards the ground, and the ensuing silence felt painfully long. Garrus spoke the truth. Indeed, every day, Felz''elt sunk its claws deeper into her psyche and pushed her further along a downward spiral into madness. But what was he planning? She gulped and her pulse climbed. An extreme measure?


    "Lately, I''ve been beating my head against the wall, as humans say, trying to understand why you''re acting this way," Garrus continued, "why you can''t just move on and accept what happened."


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    Tali clenched her fists and jaw, and let out a fierce growl. Keelah, would she never hear the end of this?


    "But then it dawned on me," Garrus said. "You''re not turian. This whole time, I''ve been trying to help you as though you were turian."


    Her muscles relaxed. She tilted her head, her eyes wide, her mouth agape. What was he trying to say?


    "I''m sure you know," Liara said, "that no two species think in the same way. Turians, for instance, value self-discipline, duty, and rationality far more than others. Humans are extremely ambitious, individualistic, and unpredictable. And us asari are the most far-sighted, the most willing to settle disputes with words rather than violence. But aside from being tech-savvy¡­you quarians are a mystery."


    "So we figured," Ashley said, "what if your brains are just wired differently? What if we can''t understand how you''re feeling no matter how hard we try?"


    Garrus huffed through his nose. "So that leaves us with only one option to help you. If this doesn''t work, then nothing will."


    Her pulse spiked. "W-What?"


    Everyone but Liara stood up.


    "We''ll wait outside," Garrus said.


    Suddenly, it dawned on her what they wanted to do. Her heart raced, and an icy bolt rushed down her spine. She sprang to her feet and rushed after Garrus and the others. "Oh, no, no, no. You can''t do this! Please, you don''t know what you''re doing!"


    No, Liara couldn''t mind-meld with her and experience the moment John left her behind. She couldn''t relay that experience to the others and let them experience it too. The pain would only cripple them.


    "Oh, on the contrary," Garrus said, stopping in his tracks. He turned to face her, "we know exactly what we''re doing."


    "This is the only way," Ashley said.


    "Yep," Gabby said, "even if this only makes you feel just a wee bit less lonely, just a tad more capable of bearing the pain, it will all be worth it."


    "Aye, it will," Ken said, "you deserve to be happy, lass."


    Adams nodded. "We won''t just watch our chief engineer fall apart like this."


    She burst into tears, then began to pace around. "Keelah, why¡­why are you doing this?" She managed to say. Her voice was choked with emotion. "Why suffer through so much pain just for me?" Her voice cracked when she said that, and she began to sob. "Please, don''t¡­don''t do this. Save yourself. There''s no hope for me."


    Liara sighed. "This might be hard for you to believe, Tali. But there''s still hope for you. Even without Shep¨C" She gulped, "¡­without him, you can still find happiness again."


    "How?" Tali almost shouted, her voice full of desperation, "He was my happiness, Liara. The other half of my soul."


    Briefly, Liara broke eye contact and pursed her lips. "None of us will pretend to understand what he meant to you." She let out a joyless laugh. "Goddess, I never could have loved him the way you did. But ask yourself this: if he could see you now, what would he think of your behavior?"


    For a few seconds, she paced around. She pointed at Liara. "You¡­You don''t understand. Us quarians, we¡­we don''t experience loss the same way as other species. We can''t just¨C"


    "Answer the question, Tali," Garrus said. "How would he feel if he saw you right now, just falling apart without him?" He growled. "Spirits, he gave his life for you! And this is how you repay him? By dishonoring his sacrifice? By¨C"


    "YOU THINK I DON''T KNOW THAT? YOU THINK I HAVEN''T TRIED?" she shouted, and everyone gasped and recoiled with shock, their eyes wide, their mouths agape.


    Panting, she sat on the couch and looked down at the ground, her eyes stinging with tears, her hands shaking as she clutched her head. Nice work, you bosh''tet. Now they''ll definitely want to help you. She took a deep breath. "Everyday¡­" She gulped. "Every day, I''m failing him¡­and I''m not strong enough to do anything about it."


    Liara scooted closer to her and put a hand on her knee. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You want to know why?"


    "Why?"


    "Because your pain," Liara said, "is too great for any one person to bear. Alone, nobody can endure it without it consuming them eventually. So let us share it with you, Tali. Give us a chance to guide your every step down the path to recovery, to show you that life is still worth living, even if it might never be the same."


    She sniffled. "Why?"


    "Because you''re more than just a crewmate," Adams said.


    "More than just a friend," Gabby said.


    "More than just a fellow sister in arms," Garrus said.


    "You''re family," Ashley said.


    "Since our days on the SR-1," Liara said, "we''ve always endured every hardship together, and let that hardship only strengthen our bond. So instead of letting his sacrifice drive us apart forever, let''s use it to bring us closer than ever."


    "And to let our shared pain," Garrus said, "be a life-long reminder of what he meant to us, of why we''ll continue to honor his memory until our last breaths."


    "So what do you say, lass?" Ken asked.


    "Will you at least give us a chance?" Gabby asked.


    She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. Keelah, what should she do? No doubt, she was among the luckiest people in the galaxy to have such caring, devoted friends. But could their alien minds handle the agony of Felz''elt? If they truly understood it, would they realize she was doomed and give up on her? Or would they come together and try even harder to ''fix'' her?


    Whatever the case, she owed them at least a chance to do that. As Garrus just said, this was the only option they had left. If this failed, then nothing would save her.


    "Fine," she said, "do what you need to do. But don''t say I didn''t warn you."


    Everyone but Liara left the cabin to go wait just outside the door. Liara stood up and went to the bathroom. "I''m just going to sterilize my hands. In the meantime, try to relax, Tali. The calmer your mind, the smoother this will go."


    She laid back on the couch, then took a series of deep breaths through her nose. Gradually, her heart rate stilled. Gradually, her muscles loosened up and her hands grew less shaky.


    Soon, Liara came out of the bathroom, then sat beside her. "Now, to do this, I''m going to need you to take off one of your gloves."


    She sighed. This would be the first time she''d ever done anything like this. "Very well."


    She popped the seals around her left glove, then slipped it off and revealed her bare hand.


    Liara held it with both of hers. "Now, look into my eyes."


    She complied, and an electric sensation raced up her arm, up her neck, and then up to her skull, tingling her every nerve.


    "Good," Liara said, her voice echoey and distorted. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, then became inky black pools of darkness. "Now¡­embrace eternity."


    Her vision went black. In what felt like only seconds, her mind flashed through weeks, months, and then years worth of memories, from her first days on the SR-1 to her last night with John before the final battle for Earth. It all happened too fast for her mind to process.


    But then the visions slowed and settled on the moment Johnleft her behind.


    Her heart pounded, and the vision slowed and grew hazy. A sharp, cold agony squeezed the breath from her lungs, and abruptly her body stiffened. No, no, no, no, no! Stop this! Please! Get me out of here! I can''t¡­I can''t¨C


    "Tali?" Liara''s voice rang in her skull and sent a soothing sensation coursing through her limbs. "Tali, listen to me. Focus on the sound of my voice. I know this is hard, but just remember that none of this is real. Through all of it, I''ll be right beside you. Understood?"


    She took a deep breath. Understood.


    Once more, the vision cleared and thrust her back into that moment.


    "Get back to Rannoch," he says. Their eyes meet, and her heart breaks at the raw pain in his eyes. Gently, he puts one hand on her mask, and her knees go weak. An ice storm of agony ravages her chest and she sobs and struggles to breathe. "Build yourself a home."


    "I¡­I have a home," she manages to say.


    As he pulls away, his eyes are wet with tears, and she can''t bear to meet his gaze. This is the end, she realizes. All was lost, and she wasn''t going to get her happy ending.


    She burst into tears, and once more the vision slowed to a crawl and grew hazy. Liara, please¡­stop this. I can''t¨C


    "Yes, you can, Tali!" Liara snapped. "Just take a deep breath and hold on a little longer."


    She took another deep breath, and once more the vision cleared and resumed.


    "Come back to me." Her words sound hollow. At that moment, something snaps within her. A terrible weight bears down on every fiber of her being, and an impenetrable darkness enshrouds her mind. More and more, the ice storm in her chest intensifies, racking and suffocating her heart and lungs until she''s completely breathless.


    As Garrus pulls her inside the Normandy, she wants to scream, to break free and rush towards her lifemate before it was too late. But she can hardly muster the energy to speak. Soon, her vision blurs. The noises around her distort, becoming unintelligible noise.


    And then she slips into unconsciousness.


    When Liara let go of her hand, she opened her eyes, only to see her friend staring at the ground, her eyes wide, her mouth agape.


    "So?" she asked, putting her glove back on. With a sharp hiss, it resealed. Her pulse climbed. Was Liara ok? Did the experience cripple her? "Do you understand now?


    Tears were streaming down Liara''s cheeks as she met her gaze. "Is this¡­is this what you felt about him?" Briefly, she smiled and looked away, wiping away her tears. "Goddess, it''s so beautiful. No wonder you''re in so much pain."


    Her pulse stabilized and she exhaled. Oh, Keelah, thank the ancestors she''s okay. "So now you know that¨C"


    "That quarians pair-bond for life, and fear Felz''elt more than death itself?" Liara asked. "Yes. But why didn''t you tell us?"


    She looked towards the ground and began wringing her hands. "Well, it¡­it''s because¨C" she gulped, "it''s because no words in human Ingleesh, asari Ula''rhis, or turian Khin''khaar can accurately describe what I''m feeling. For you, losing your mate is such a different experience. So even with the best translator in the galaxy, I never thought you would understand."


    Liara sighed. "Perhaps that''s true." She stood up, wiping away more of her tears. "In any case, I better go share this with others. We''ll need some time to¡­process all of this. In the meantime, though, can you promise us something?"


    "What?"


    "As bleak as things seem now," Liara said, "promise that you''ll at least try to recover and talk to us about your feelings."


    She broke eye contact and sniffled. "I-I don''t know, I¨C"


    "Tali," Liara said firmly, "I know this is hard. I know this is the worst pain you''ve experienced. But for us, please, make the commitment."


    She took a deep breath. "Very well." In all likelihood, nothing would come of this. But for them and John, she''d at least try. "I¡­I promise."


    Liara smiled. "That''s all we ask." She made her way towards the exit. "We''ll see you soon."


    When Liara left the cabin and joined the others, she checked the ship-time on her omni-tool. She had about twenty minutes before the start of her shift in engineering.


    She sighed and let out a frustrated growl. She wanted to rest more, but that talk and the mind-meld had consumed so much time. Just ten more minutes. She lay on her side in a fetal position.


    "Every day, I''m failing him¡­and I''m not strong enough to do anything about it."


    Was that true, now that the others understood her pain? Did it even matter? Honestly, she had no idea. If there was ''light at the end of the tunnel'', as humans say, then she still couldn''t see it, much less find a reason to pursue it at all.


    She sniffled, as tears streamed down her cheeks. Is it worth it? Life without him was so empty, so pointless, and not worth this pain. But how else could she honor his sacrifice?


    She took a deep breath. If you''re with the ancestors, saera, then please¡­help me. Show me how to honor your sacrifice.


    She couldn''t do this alone.

 Chapter 5

    He''s treading through the blackened ruins of a once-great city, under a dark sky choked with dust and ash, when he hears somebody sobbing in the distance. The noise echoes through the air, and he stops in his tracks and takes a moment to discern its point of origin. It''s coming from atop a building-sized plateau of rubble, not too far away to the north.


    He heads towards it. As he does so, the sobbing gets louder and clearer, sounding more racked with grief.


    Who was it? A man, most likely. But who?


    "Oh, god," the man cries out. The man''s voice is too pained to be recognizable."Why? Why?"


    He begins to climb his way towards the top of the rubble plateau.


    "This¡­this doesn''t make sense," the man said, his voice seething with pain and rage. "Who would do this to you? It''s¡­It''s not fair!"


    He recognizes the man''s voice. Joker? He climbs as fast as he can, and eventually, he makes it to the top. Ahead, he spots Joker on his knees, about twenty meters away, near the top of a gentle upward slope. There, Joker was cradling somebody''s corpse, his chest heaving with racking sobs.


    "Joker?" he asks. "Joker, what are you doing there?"


    Joker keeps sobbing and cradles the corpse even tighter.


    He approaches him. "Joker? Joker, answer me, god damn it. Who is that? Why are you here?" He grabs Joker''s right shoulder. "How did you¨C"


    Joker crumbles to dust.


    "What the¨C" he says, his eyes wide, his mouth agape. What just happened? He looks down, and his pulse spikes when he recognizes the corpse Joker was cradling.


    It was EDI.


    Kneeling down, he examines it closely, and it''s ruined beyond repair with fried interior components. Just then, he remembers the choice he made on the Crucible, and his limbs feel heavy. A cold, crushing sensation racks his chest.


    "I killed you," he says. Yes, he was a murderer now, responsible for the genocide of all synthetic life. He had taken away Joker''s only love.


    In the distance, loud crashes split the air. He stands up, then reaches the top of the slope, only to gasp and shudder at the sight ahead. Before him, over the edge of the plateau, was an endless ocean of lifeless, burned-out Geth platforms heaped on top of each other, like pieces of trash in a landfill. The sight stretched out to the horizon, spanning as far as he could see ahead. And every second, hundreds more Geth platforms plummeted from the dark, roiling clouds above, crashing into the sea of plastic and metal below.


    For a moment, he couldn''t breathe. Yes, these are his victims. His millions upon millions of sacrificial lambs. His stomach churns. His knees go weak, and he struggles to remain standing.


    "Was it worth it Shepard-Commander?"


    The voice came from behind him. Instantly, his pulse surges and he winces on the inside, feeling like the smallest man in the galaxy. No, anything but this.


    Slowly, he turns and spots Legion glaring at him with fathomless hate. He gulps and breaks into a cold sweat, barely able to maintain eye contact. "Legion, I¡­"


    "Answer the question," Legion says firmly, approaching him, "Was. It. Worth. It?"


    Looking at the ground, he purses his lips. "I¡­I didn''t have a choice."


    "We both know that is false," Legion says.


    "It was a trap!" he snaps, meeting Legion''s gaze. "A fantasy too good to be true! An insult to everything we''ve ever fought for!"


    "Cease pretending to be so noble," Legion says, drawing an omni-blade from its right forearm. "We both know why you actually betrayed us."


    Legion spoke those words in Tali''s voice. They cut like a blade, and he looks away, deflated of all vigor and aggression. Yes, he could not deny the truth. On the Crucible, he committed genocide, not for the greater good of all organics, but because he was weak and selfish.


    Because he couldn''t bear the thought of never seeing her again, nor the thought of her living on without him as some half-synthetic abomination robbed of her individuality, of everything that made her so beautiful and lovable.


    He would sooner see the galaxy burn.


    "A shame your sacrifice was for nothing," Legion says. "Your friends are dead. " Once more he looks Legion in the eye, only to find it closer than an arm''s length away. "And now, it''s time for you to pay the price." Legion rams its omni-blade into his gut.


    Commander Shepard awoke with a start, his heart hammering in his chest. Cold sweat dripped off his brow, and he panted, taking in his surroundings. Every other hospital bed was empty. Damn it. Had he overslept again and missed breakfast? He checked the time on his omni-tool, and it was 9:31 AM. He had less than half an hour before they''d close the long line for rations.


    Just then, Kasumi decloaked. She was sitting on Colonel Hayes'' empty bed, humming a tune as she ate an apple. "Hey, Shep. Another nightmare?"


    "Uhm¡­yeah," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Have you been watching me sleep?"


    "Only for the past twenty minutes," she said. She took another bite and continued to speak with her mouth full, "you were rolling and tossing around, saying a bunch of things about EDI, the Geth, and¨C"


    "And Tali?"


    "Yep," Kasumi said, "and it was sooooo cute." She giggled. "You should have seen yourself, the way you called out to your beloved, just aching to see her again. Ah, it was so romantic."


    His cheeks burned, and briefly, he broke eye contact. Somehow, she always knew how to embarrass him.


    "Oh, don''t worry," Kasumi said, "you''ll see your lifemate again."


    "Wait," he said. "You know?"


    She laughed. "Of course, silly. If not for me, she never would have confessed how she really felt about you."


    He broke eye contact. All this time, had Kasumi been covertly helping his relationship with Tali? "If that''s the case, then I can''t thank you enough." He let out a weak laugh. "Somehow, I''ll have to repay you."


    "You can repay me," Kasumi said, "by keeping that big, fat head of yours. When the Normandy returns, Tali is going to need you."


    "Yeah." He sighed. If only he shared her optimism. No matter how hard he tried to live in the present moment, a part of him kept imagining the worst, whispering that it was pointless to get his hopes up."Anyways, where did you get that apple? With the damn food shortages, there have only been rations."


    Kasumi grinned. "A thief never tells." She pulled out a second apple, then handed it to him, "but being friends with one has its perks."


    "Indeed it does." His stomach rumbled. He took the apple, then bit into it, closing his eyes as he chewed and savored its sweet flavor. It had been too long since he''d eaten real food. "Thanks. Now, what''s¡­"


    Suddenly, Kasumi looked towards the medical tent''s exit, then cloaked once more.


    "Commander Shepard," a voice called, and he cringed. Oh, not her again. Of all people, why did Miranda have to choose her as an associate nurse? Were the manpower shortages that severe?


    He scarfed down the rest of his apple. Just then, Nurse Casey stepped into the medical tent, carrying a data slate. She was a dainty woman in her early twenties with a head-turning figure, and long, red hair. She was wearing a nurse uniform one size smaller than the one she wore yesterday. "Commander Shepard, are you¨C"


    She made eye contact with him and blushed. Smiling, she tucked some of her hair behind one of her ears. "Ah, you''re finally awake. For a moment, you had me worried. Your heart rate and blood pressure were off the charts." She made her way to a nearby medical cabinet and began to prepare his morning meds. "Let me guess. Another nightmare?"


    Briefly, he gritted his teeth. Would she ever stop trying to break down his mental defenses, and get him to open up? "You could say that," he said, keeping his voice as emotionless as possible.


    She sighed. "At this rate, psychiatrists will be up to their necks with PTSD patients. Even with the war over, so many will have to live on with fresh mental scars that might never fully heal." She turned, carrying a bottle of water, along with a pill-box containing his morning meds. "They must be so hard to endure alone."


    He gave her a tight-lipped smile. Yes, from now until his last breath, Tali would be the only person with complete access to his heart and mind. Until he saw her again, he would not open up to anyone. "Well, you know what they say," he said. "Just take each day at a time, and it all becomes manageable."


    She giggled. "Well, ain''t you a wise one."


    She approached the side of his bed, smelling like lavender and strawberries. He sat up, and like always she gave him the pill-box and water bottle, so he could take his morning meds himself.


    "Excellent," she said, once he swallowed the last pill, "now let''s put on your exoskeleton. You know the drill, Commander."


    Silently, he cringed. Three days ago, the doctors had given him a standard-issue, medical exoskeleton for his physical therapy. And every day, he loathed wearing it. Unlike his morning meds, he couldn''t put them on himself, nor stand the sympathetic looks people gave him whenever he walked around in them with his crutches. Briefly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. Whatever it takes to get better. "Yeah."


    He rolled to his side. "Anyways. What''s on today''s schedule?"


    She went to open another medical cabinet with his crutches and the sections of his exoskeleton. "Well first, we''re going to remove the bandages around your face. Then at eleven, you have a meeting with Admiral Hackett and the other Coalition leaders."


    "A meeting with them? Why now?"


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    She attached the section for his hips. "Last night, Ms. Lawson and Dr. Morris declared you physically and mentally well enough to attend one. But as to why they to talk to you¡­hhhm¡­beats me. That''s above my pay grade."


    She attached the brace for his neck and torso, then finally the ones for his arms and legs. "There we go," she said. "Now, let''s get them running."


    She opened a window on her omni-tool, then input a series of commands. With an audible hum, his exoskeleton''s internal electronics came to life and enveloped his body in several Mass Effect fields. Instantly, he felt lighter, as though he were on the moon instead of earth. Just a couple of weeks, he kept telling himself. Yes, every week, they''d make the fields fifteen percent weaker, and the programs in the exoskeleton''s onboard micro-computer would help him relearn how to walk. Every night, he practiced with those programs for an extra three hours. And at this rate, he''d need only a cane after just a month.


    As long as Miranda doesn''t intervene.


    He sat up and let his legs hang over the side of the bed.


    "Before I give you your crutches," she said, "let''s remove the last of your bandages. Dr. Zhen seemed confident about her work. So I wouldn''t worry about the scarring."


    She began to unwrap the bandages around his head. As she did so, adrenaline rushed through his veins and his heart sped up. Was he disfigured now? If so, then hopefully Tali wouldn''t mind.


    Soon, she removed the last of his bandages. And then her eyes widened.


    His pulse spiked, and his body tensed up. "What? How bad is the damage?"


    Blushing, she smiled. "Oh, well¡­" she grabbed a nearby, empty medical tray, then held it up to his face. "See for yourself."


    He exhaled, and his body relaxed. Oh, thank god. Aside from his ruined left eye, and a few patches of skin that had healed over as scar tissue, the doctors had done a solid job at reconstructing the left side of his face. He wouldn''t describe himself as handsome anymore, but at least he didn''t look like a freak.


    She giggled and played with her hair. "Put on an eye patch, and you''ll look just like the villain of some cheesy spy vid. Kind of like Agent Rykard in Blasto VI. Ah, even with his scars, he wasn''t any less handsome."


    Briefly, he looked back to when he watched that movie with Tali in his cabin, to when they couldn''t stop laughing at the movie''s nonsensical plot and terrible dialogue. Momentarily, he smiled. God, if only she was here right now. If only she was supporting him through his recovery, instead of this naive woman infatuated not with John Shepard, but with ''The Hero of the Citadel'', ''The Lion of Elysium'', and ''Bane of the Reapers''.


    Somehow, he had to let her down gently. Maybe she''ll back off if she sees the picture. He reached under his pillow and pulled it out. As soon as she saw it, her eyes widened.


    She gulped. "Oh¡­uhm¡­who is that?"


    "My saera. "


    "Saera?"


    "Roughly, it translates as soulmate in Khelish, the quarian language."


    She broke eye contact and pursed her lips, looking drained and defeated. "Soulmate?"


    He nodded, then stared at the picture, trailing the fingers of his cybernetic left hand across its surface. "Quarians, they¡­they pair-bond for life," he said, putting the picture in his pocket. "Concepts like divorce and infidelity are completely alien to them."


    She paused as if processing what he just said. Eventually, she exhaled. "Well¡­who would have thought that quarians were so pretty under those suits. Or so romantically compatible with humans." She met his gaze and gave him a tight-lipped smile. "She''s a very lucky girl. I hope you two see each other again."


    Hopefully, she''d stop trying to cross any unacceptable boundaries. "Thank you."


    She took a deep breath, then handed him his crutches. "Anyways. Let''s get you on your feet."


    "On the count of three, Commander," she said. "Come on. One, two, three."


    He stood up and leaned on his crutches for balance. His stomach rumbled as he put on his coat and slippers. Time to get some food. Hopefully, the line hasn''t closed. He turned and began to leave the tent.


    "If you need anything," she said, "just call me or Ms. Lawson on your omni-tool. Oh, and don''t forget about your meeting."


    "Don''t worry," he said, stopping in his tracks, "I won''t."


    He stepped outside and a chill bit his skin. Above, the sky was choked with smoke and ash, colored an ugly shade of grey. Apparently, the Reapers had deliberately triggered a super-volcano eruption in the continent of North America during their opening, orbital bombardment of Earth''s defenses.


    He sighed. Even now, the soldier in him couldn''t deny the brutal effectiveness of such a tactic. With it, they obliterated the continent with the highest concentration of Alliance military bases in one fell swoop, slaughtering hundreds of millions in only hours. With it, they choked the atmosphere with billions of tons of ash and smoke, plunging the world into a dark, wintery hell rife with famine and despair.


    He sighed. Even though the war was over, it would take decades, perhaps centuries, for Humanity''s cradle to recover.


    Heading towards the mess, he made his way through the makeshift tent city the United Species Coalition was using as a temporary HQ. Wherever he went, he passed by countless personnel going about their duties. And no matter their species, they always stopped their current task upon seeing him, only to nod or give their equivalent of a salute.


    Eventually, he reached the tent with the mess and stepped within, only to find it mostly empty with the ration line closed. Damn it. He had slept in too long and wasted too much time getting ready. He scoffed. Oh well. He could always wait until¨C


    "Hey! Commander Shepard!" Somebody called. "Over here!"


    He looked towards where the voice came from and spotted Colonel Hayes waving at him, sitting at one of the tables, drinking coffee along with two others. He approached them.


    "Well, if it ain''t the big man himself," said a tall, muscular man with dark skin and a thick, black beard. From the elbow down, his left arm was a cybernetic replacement, and he had a nasty scar running across his face.


    "The one and only Bane of the Reapers," said a wiry, pale woman with a thick accent and blonde hair secured in a bun. Like him, she was also wearing a medical exoskeleton, but only for her neck and torso. Her right eye was a cybernetic replacement, along with both her legs from the knee down.


    He nodded and sat beside them, along with Hayes. At the center of the table lay a thermos of hot water, along with a stack of paper cups.


    Hayes handed him an unopened ration. "Saved one for you. Figured you''d need the rest after you were up so late last night."


    He smiled and began to open it. "Thanks. I owe you one."


    "After what you did on the Crucible," Hayes said, "you don''t owe anyone anything."


    "Damn right," said the dark-skinned man. He finished off his coffee."Thanks to you, I''ll get to see my little boys again."


    The woman smiled. "And I''ll get to see my mother, brothers, and sisters."


    "Oh," Hayes said, "Commander, meet Corporal Joshua Davis, and First Lieutenant Alina Nica. Both are...from what''s left of my Regiment."


    He shook Joshua''s hand, and then Alina''s. "It''s a pleasure to meet you both."


    "So¡­" Hayes said, as Shepard dug into the meal portion of his ration, a ''nutrient cake'' that tasted like burnt chicken. "I don''t mean to pry, but ever since they gave you that exoskeleton, you''ve been staying up pretty late, disappearing off to God know''s where. You okay?"


    "Oh, I''m just practicing with the exoskeleton''s onboard programs," he said. He took another bite. "Trying to get through the physical therapy as fast as possible."


    He was also reading through countless scouting reports, and writing countless letters on his omni-tool to numerous camp supervisors, helping them solve the growing number of interspecies disputes. Just yesterday, one supervisor stopped a human-batarian brawl from erupting at one of the levo ration lines. And the day before, Wrex had to execute one of his own men for killing six Hierarchy soldiers in a fit of blind rage.


    Yes, as Hackett''s impromptu chief of staff, Miranda could easily provide him with endless tasks and contacts to keep busy.


    And avoid thinking about the Normandy.


    Alina chuckled. "I can relate. These fucking exoskeletons might as well be medieval torture devices."


    He nodded, then took another bite. "Anyways, tell me about yourselves. Were you guys always Alliance before the war?"


    "Family of military officers and politicians," Hayes said, making himself another cup of coffee. "My mother was in the Alliance Parliament, and my father was a general in the First Contact War."


    "My father died in that war and left my family with nothing," Alina said. She sipped her coffee. "Became an officer to avenge him and pull my family out of poverty."


    "Guess I''m the odd one out," Joshua said. "Before this whole shitstorm, I used to be a fighter in the UFC. Got drafted as soon as the Reapers invaded."


    "UFC?"


    "Ultimate Fighting Championship," Joshua said. "What? Never heard of it?"


    "I wasn''t born on Earth," he said. He finished off his nutrient cake, then began to eat the snack portion of his ration, a pack of protein crackers with some kind of fruit paste. "Growing up, I was never much a sports fan."


    "And where did you grow up?" Hayes asked.


    He sighed. "Mindoir."


    For a moment, everyone remained silent.


    "So wait," Hayes said. "Are you telling us that¨C"


    "That I was the only one to not get killed or captured?" He paused, studying their expressions. Their eyes were wide, and their mouths were agape. "Yeah."


    "Well¡­" Hayes said, "if you ask me, I think the Reapers did us all a favor when they made the Batarians an endangered species. Those fucking blinks will never hurt or enslave anyone ever again."


    Shepard pulled out a packet of instant coffee from the ration, then poured it inside a paper cup, along with some hot water. "Sounds like you have a personal history with them. Were you also at Torfan?"


    "Damn right, I was," Hayes said. He broke eye contact and looked at the ground, "but that''s not all¡­"


    "It has to do with his wife," Alina said. "He''s very sensitive about it, so best we change the subject."


    "No, it''s¡­it''s okay," Hayes said. He took a deep breath. "One day, while we were on vacation at some resort on Illium, she just¡­vanished without a trace." He sighed. "The local law enforcement was a useless, corrupt sack of shit, so I had no choice but to hire PIs, who eventually tracked her down to Omega."


    He raised his eyebrows. "Omega?"


    Hayes nodded. "If it wasn''t for a turian vigilante named ''Archangel'', I never would have seen her again."


    Alarm bells practically rang in his head, and he nearly choked on his coffee. Garrus, you amazing bastard! "Wait. Hold on a minute. The Archangel?"


    "The one and only," Hayes said. Briefly, he broke eye contact and pursed his lips. "Eventually, he found where they were keeping her. Apparently, she got snatched as fucking merchandise for a sex trafficking ring." He clenched his fists and jaw. "They were going to ''sell'' her and so many others as ''exotic concubines'' to some fat, spoiled aristocrats on whatever cesspit they call a homeworld."


    Hayes took a deep breath, then pursed his lips. "Archangel showed me footage of their dark, crowded, and filthy pens, of where they do surgery on¡­" A tear streamed down his cheek, and he wiped it away. He took another deep breath.


    "Hey," Shepard said, "it''s okay. You don''t have to say anything more about what you saw. Tell me, though, what did Archangel do to ones responsible?"


    Hayes smiled. "First, he massacred the thugs running that damn house of horrors and freed the captives, before burning their operation to the ground. After that, he tracked down their bosses, one by one, and burned off their genitals with a red-hot poker."


    "Oooooh," Arthur said, "god damn! I like this turian!"


    Alina chuckled. "Blinks got what they deserved."


    Before the Reaper War, he would have been horrified with Garrus'' excessive cruelty. Why not just blow their brains out and be done with it? But after genociding the Geth, and denying galactic civilization the technological wonders they could have brought to billions, he had no right to judge him. And besides, if Tali had been in the same situation as Hayes'' wife, he might have destroyed Omega itself.


    "What happened after you two reunited?"


    "We got the hell off Omega and straight to the nearest hospital and Asari psychiatrist," Hayes said. "She''s such a strong-minded person, but still, it took her over a year to recover from the trauma. Up until the beginning of the Reaper invasion, she still had nightmares about those damn pens."


    "Any luck finding her and your daughters so far?" he asked


    Hayes sighed, looking down at the ground. "I''ve asked everyone I could for any relevant information on the civilian camps. But all I''ve gotten are bullshit excuses."


    "Give me their names," he said. "Recently, I''ve been corresponding with every camp supervisor, helping them quell unrest and reduce tensions between species. I can ask them to look for your family."


    Hayes eyes widened, while his jaw fell open. "You''d¡­You''d really do that?"


    "Why not?" Shepard asked.


    Hayes recoiled slightly, his eyes wet with tears as he covered his mouth with one hand. "I swear, if you find them, then I promise¨C"


    He held up his hand. "Then you won''t have to do anything¡­except swear that you''ll never take them for granted."


    Hayes burst into tears. "Oh god, I swear. I swear I''ll never take them for granted." He took a deep breath. "But ok, my wife''s name is Aela T''Sarik, and my daughters are Ashara, Enalia, Falani, and Kionie."


    "Got it," he said, writing down those names on the notepad application of his omni-tool. Briefly, he checked the time, and his meeting was in fifteen minutes. "Anyways, I need to get going." He stood up, using his crutches."I have a meeting at eleven with the Coalition leaders. But we''ll stay in touch."


    "Take care, Shepard," Hayes said.


    "God bless you," Joshua said.


    Alina saluted.


    He turned and began to leave the mess. After taking a few steps, he stopped in his tracks. Better tell them about Archangel.


    "Oh, and by the way," he said, "I know Archangel''s true identity." He turned around, facing them. "His name is Garrus Vakarian, and he''s a member of my crew. If he''s still alive, I''ll definitely introduce him to you."


    He turned and headed towards the exit. Behind him, Joshua burst out laughing.


    Once outside the mess, he made his way toward his destination. At every security checkpoint, the Hierarchy and Alliance soldiers on duty let him skip the lines and pass through. And eventually, he reached the largest tent in the camp, filled with dozens of makeshift offices and cubicles.


    "Commander Shepard?" called an elderly turian woman, carrying a datapad.


    "Yes?"


    "Follow me, please," she said. "They''ve been waiting for you."


    He followed the turian secretary to just outside some kind of conference room. He couldn''t see what was inside.


    She went off elsewhere. "Just go inside and have a seat."


    Stepping within, he spotted the Coalition leaders sitting around a large circular table with a holo-projector at the center.


    "Ah, Commander," Hackett said, "so glad you could join us. Have a seat."


    He took a seat at the table.


    Hackett steepled his hands. "We have much to discuss."

 Chapter 6

    "What is there to discuss?" Shepard asked.


    Sitting around the table were Hackett, Shala''Raan, Han''Gerrel, Urdnot Wrex, Primarch Victus, along with an Asari and a Salarian he didn''t recognize. All of them were staring at him.


    "Well, first things first, Shepard," Hackett said, "allow me to introduce you to Matriarch Salusia, the Admiral of the Asari Sixth Fleet, " Salusia nodded, "and Admiral Jhinon Dau, the commanding officer of the Salarian First Fleet."


    "It''s an honor to meet you both," he said.


    Salusia leaned back into her chair and steepled her hands. Her face seemed locked in a permanent sneer. "Likewise."


    Jhinon nodded. Scars riddled almost every inch of his face. "STG has told me much about you. Very impressive."


    "Anways," Hackett continued, "we''ve called you here today because we need you to tell us what happened on the Crucible."


    "Yes," Han said, "why did the Geth just suddenly go offline? After how adamant you were to broker a ''peace'' with them, I never imagined this would happen."


    "Neither did I," Shala said, crossing her arms, "What happened?"


    "Indeed," Salusia said. "Explain."


    He sighed, looking down at the ground, and his limbs felt heavy. He should have known this would happen, that eventually, people would want an explanation for why the Geth went offline after the Crucible blast. There was no avoiding this.


    So better he got this over with.


    "After going up the beam," he said, "I found myself in a dark, red-lit chamber full of mangled corpses, of people the Reapers haven''t yet harvested." Briefly, he looked away and gulped. "The smell¡­Oh god, the smell was unbearable, and I remember puking¨C"


    Salusia held up her hand. "Please. Leave out the graphic details. They are completely unnecessary."


    "What happened after you found yourself in that chamber?" Hackett asked, leaning forward.


    "Anderson had also made it up," he said, "but we ended up in different locations. Soon, he contacted me on my comm-link, and we tried to regroup. But later, there was interference in the connection, and then something cut us off. Nonetheless, I pushed on, and eventually, I found him¡­just standing there in front of the console inside the Citadel''s master control room."


    "The master control room?" Victus asked.


    Shepard nodded. "I approached him, but then I couldn''t move. My head ached with this dull, throbbing pain. Every muscle in my body just froze up¡­and that''s when the Illusive Man made his entrance."


    "You''re referring to the leader of the human terrorist organization, Cerberus, correct?" Jhinon asked. "Yes, STG has told me much about him. High-priority target for assassination."


    "The one and only," Shepard said. "After making his entrance, he went on this long, insane monologue trying to justify his actions, to convince me and Anderson that somehow controlling the Reapers was what''s best for Humanity. But he was clearly indoctrinated. He was so far gone that he had mutilated over half his body with Reaper implants and cybernetics."


    "And what happened next?" Hackett asked.


    He took a deep breath. "Me and Anderson, we tried to convince him that he was playing with forces he did not understand, that he was grasping at power nobody deserved, and that Reapers should be destroyed, not controlled." He clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth. "But the bastard wouldn''t listen. With his new abilities, he made me¡­"


    "What did that whelp make you do?" Wrex asked.


    He looked at the ground and pursed his lips. A cold emptiness bloomed in his chest, as he remembered that moment.


    "Look at the power they wield! Look at what they can do!"


    He''s gritting his teeth and breathing heavily through his nose. With all his willpower, he resists the urge to pull the trigger, to murder Anderson in cold blood. But he''s not strong enough.


    BANG!


    He wants to cry out in rage and tear the Illusive Man limb from limb, but his body won''t obey him. He''s completely powerless.


    "He made me shoot Anderson. He made me put a bullet right through his gut."


    Silence filled the room.


    "After I shot Anderson," he continued, "I made the Illusive Man see what he really was, a puppet. At first, he resisted. Like Saren, he tried to convince me that he was still in control, that the Reapers hadn''t taken away his free will. But then I asked him whether he was willing to stake Humanity''s existence on his ability to handle so much power. And finally, I started to get through to him." He gulped and pursed his lips. "The bastard got so angry and defensive and started ranting about the sacrifices he''s made for humanity. But then I told him that he''d sacrificed too much, that his actions had only doomed humanity, and finally¡­he mustered enough willpower to commit suicide. Just before his death, he told me that all this time¡­ he tried to resist."


    "Good riddance," Victus said. "With him gone, Cerberus is finished."


    "Yes," Hackett said, "with the intelligence disclosed by their highest-ranking defectors, I''ll make sure of that." He cleared his throat. "But anyways, continue Shepard. What happened after he committed suicide."


    "Finally, me and Anderson we''re free of his control," Shepard said. ", and I opened the Citadel arms so you could dock the Crucible. But by then, my injuries were severe. I sat by Anderson and we shared some last words before I blacked out."


    "That can''t be the end," Wrex said.


    "It isn''t," Shepard said. "Just minutes later, the Catalyst woke me up."


    "The Catalyst?"


    Shepard nodded. "All this time, an AI in the Citadel was the mastermind behind the Reaper harvests." He huffed through his nose and clenched his fists. "The damn thing took the form of a spectral child to manipulate me, to make the motivation for its ''solution'' easier to swallow."


    Everyone was leaning forward, staring at him, enthralled in what he had to say. He took a deep breath. "Over two billion years ago, the Leviathans used to be the dominant race of the galaxy with countless thrall races feeding them tribute. Time and time again, those thrall races grew dependent on machines that eventually destroyed them and cut off their tribute. So the Leviathans created the Catalyst to stop this from happening, and keep the tribute flowing."


    He let out a joyless laugh. "But their plan backfired. Eventually, the Catalyst concluded that ''the created will always rebel against their creators'' and that synthetics could not coexist with organics. And so its ''solution'' was the Reaper Cycles. When the Leviathans rejected this, they only became the first race to be harvested and ''immortalized'' as the first Reaper."


    "Harbinger," Hackett said, and once again silence filled the room. Shepard studied Han and Shala''s body language and they seemed to be processing what he said.


    "All this time," Han said, "we''ve been repeating a pattern that has gone on for eons. Keelah, why am I not surprised."


    "Well, this Catalyst was clearly wrong," Shala said. She met his gaze. "You proved it was wrong, the moment you brokered peace between the Geth and the quarian people."


    Han scoffed. "It never would have lasted. You know that. Most of Clan Gerrel and Clan Vael were outraged when I gave the order to stop firing. This ''peace'', you speak of, was only an opportunity to use the Geth as fodder for the war."


    Shala slapped her hands on the table. "By the ancestors, I swear if you say¨C"


    "Enough," Shepard snapped. "Now is not the time to argue."


    He sighed. He couldn''t deny the truth of Han''s words. Indeed, it was because of quarians like him that Geth-Quarians tensions might have exploded into a second Morning War, without very careful diplomacy.


    \ Shala exhaled. "Very well."


    "Continue, Shepard," Han said.


    He cleared his throat. "Anyways. The Catalyst explained that its cycles, its genocides, were somehow meant to stop synthetic life from wiping out all organic life, that they immortalize races as Reapers to preserve all their knowledge and history."


    "How contradictory," Salusia said.


    "Indeed," Victus said, "how does one stop synthetics from wiping out organics, by wiping out organics with synthetics?"


    "It''s complete madness," Han said. "The stupid machines can not tell the difference between living and existing."


    Hackett cleared his throat. "Anyways, what happened after the Catalyst explained its¡­reasons for the Cycles?"


    He pursed his lips. Briefly, he looked at the ground. "It gave me three choices, all of them terrible."


    His heart raced, and he gulped. He took a deep breath. Now came the part he dreaded recounting. "It said that just by making it this far, its solution wouldn''t work anymore. After that, it gave me the first of its three choices, an offer to control the Reapers."


    Everyone recoiled, their eyes wide, their mouth agape.


    "It said that every atom of my body would get converted into energy," he said, "and that my mind would become the new guiding intelligence behind the Reapers."


    "Goddess," Salusia said, "that would have only justified the Illusive Man''s actions."


    "Nobody deserves that much power," Victus said.


    "I agree," Wrex said, glaring at him, "If you had taken that things offer, Shepard, all Krogan would have cursed your name as a traitor, as some pathetic pyjak who schemed and manipulated his way into becoming the god-king of the galaxy."


    "I have no doubt that would have happened, Wrex," Shepard said. He leaned forward and put his hands on the table. "As Victus said, nothing deserves to have that much power. Nothing. In all likelihood, that choice was probably a trap anyway. It was too good to be true."


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    "Indeed," Hackett said. "I think we can all agree that nobody wants a God-Emperor of the galaxy. Throughout history, authoritarian rule has brought only suffering, no matter how well-intentioned." He cleared his throat. "But anyways, what were the other options?"


    "The next option was something it called synthesis," Shepard said. "It''s sick, twisted mind somehow believed this choice was the ideal one."


    "What would it have entailed," Jhinon asked.


    "Forcibly altering the DNA of every sentient being to become half-organic, half-synthetic," he said. "It would have taken away everyone''s individuality and made them a part of this¡­galaxy-spanning hivemind."


    "That," Raan said, "would have been completely unacceptable."


    "Indeed," Han said, "Death would have been preferable. If you had chosen that abominable path, Shepard, your popularity amongst the fleet would have turned into bitter hatred. As the Krogan said, all quarians would have reviled you as a monster infinitely worse than the Geth."


    Shala nodded. "None of us want to become little more than advanced versions of¡­what did you humans call them? Oh, husks."


    "I agree with the quarians," Wrex said. "If you had chosen synthesis, if you had chosen to be a coward and ''negotiate'' with the Reapers like Saren, then all Krogan would have lost their respect for you. All Krogan would remember you only as a fraud ¨C as some whelp who unleashed a blight even worse than the genophage!"


    "Then let us be glad that Shepard rejected this choice," Salusia said. "Indeed, I think a world without privacy or differences is a world without joy or beauty."


    Hackett nodded. "Personally, it sounds like the Catalyst was trying to sell you a utopia. If you know your history, Shepard, then you should know why utopia means ''no place'' and what happens when madmen try to enforce one upon the world."


    Everyone paused, as that statement sunk in.


    "Anyways," Jhinon said, "what was the final choice?"


    His pulse climbed. His stomach lurched, and briefly, he looked at the ground. This was it. Now, he had to confess to his crime. "The last option was to completely exterminate all synthetic life."


    "Everything?" Han asked.


    "Yes," Shepard said, "everything. The Reapers. The Geth. And every AI in the galaxy, at the cost of some damage to the mass relays." He looked down at the ground. "Yes, I¡­I willingly betrayed the Geth. It was either them or us, and I did what I had to do."


    Again, silence filled the room, as everyone seemed to mull over what he just said. Every second felt like minutes.


    "Goddess¡­" Salusia said, "now I understand what happened to the Raloi, the Kwi''Voth, and the Virtual Aliens."


    His pulse spiked. For a moment, he couldn''t breathe. Were they more of his victims? "What¡­" He gulped. "What happened to them?"


    Salusia slid her hand down her face. "It would take too long for me to explain, but¡­" She took a deep breath, then began to input a few commands on her omni-tool. "I will send you the details."


    On his omni-tool, he received some files. Sooner or later, he''d have to read them and face the full horror of his actions.


    "Well¡­" Shala said, meeting his gaze, "it''s a tragedy you had to make such a decision. Yes, without the Geth, it will take decades for the quarian people to achieve their previous heights. But ultimately¡­"


    "You did what needed to be done," Han said. "You used the Geth as fodder for the war, then betrayed them once they no longer had any use. Yes, an impressive strategy. I suppose I should be thanking you."


    "Don''t presume my motives, Admiral," he said, almost shouting. He clenched his fists and huffed through his nose. So stuck in your damn ways. "The Geth are heroes of this war, and sacrificing them was anything but an easy decision. Their demise is not something to be fucking celebrated."


    Han crossed his arms and glared at him.


    "Shame they had to go," Wrex said, "but yes¡­it''s best this way. After everything they did with Saren, I don''t believe anyone would have accepted them."


    "Indeed," Jhinon said, "tensions would have exploded eventually. You took the wisest course of action."


    Hackett took a deep breath. "The Geth were¡­invaluable allies. Without them and the Rachni, the battle for Earth would have been a crushing defeat from the outset." The Admiral exhaled through his nose, then looked at him. "It pains me to have to say this but¡­yes, what you did was necessary, Shepard. In war, morality is often a luxury officers can not afford."


    He couldn''t deny the truth of Hackett''s words. Like Garrus always said, in any conflict, it was impossible to be righteous all the time, or to avoid the ruthless calculus of war. Closing his eyes, he exhaled through his nose. "So what now?"


    Victus whispered something in Hackett''s ear, and Hackett nodded.


    "Shepard," Victus said. "Given everything you''ve told us, you''ve only confirmed our belief, that in the coming galactic order, we need to impose a complete ban on artificial intelligence."


    "Yes," Jhinon said, "giving them power is too dangerous."


    He clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth. Cowards. No. He would not let them dishonour EDI and the Geth''s memory.


    "No," he said firmly, and everyone around the table stared at him, as if they couldn''t believe what he just said.


    "No?" Han asked.


    "That''s right," he continued, "No. What''s actually dangerous is letting our fears and biases blind us to what caused the Reaper Cycles in the first place. If we ban all AI, then we''d only be proving that the Catalyst was right, that synthetics and organics can''t coexist, and that we''ve learned nothing from this war."


    Silence filled the room as everyone seemed to process that statement.


    "Then what do you propose?" Victus asked eventually.


    "As Admiral Raan pointed out," he said. "The quarians and the geth proved that the Catalyst was wrong, that synthetics and organics can not only coexist, but thrive when they cooperate and make up for each other''s weaknesses." He leaned forward and put his hands on the table. "If we never want another Reaper War to happen ever again, then I propose we do the opposite, that we recognize future AIs as sentient beings and give them rights."


    "WHAT?" Han shouted. He slammed his palms on the table, then explosively stood up from his chair and pointed at him. "This is madness! You can not possibly believe that the public would simply accept such an insane proposal!"


    "HAN!" Shala snapped. "Sit down!"


    "Genocidal machines have just nearly destroyed galactic civilization! They''ve shown everyone what happens when¨C"


    Wrex roared, loud enough to make him wince, and everyone went silent. "Enough! No more bickering like whelps!"


    Hackett cleared his throat. "Yes. I think now isn''t the best time to debate this topic. Whatever the future of synthetics, however, one thing is clear. In the next galactic order, we''ll need to unify and cooperate like never before."


    "Especially given what you''re about to see," Salusia said.


    "See what?" Shepard asked.


    "What you''re about to see can not leave this room," Jhinon said. "If the masses find out about this, especially now, then the mass panic¡­"


    "Would be very ugly, indeed," Salusia said, steepling her hands and leaning back into her chair.


    Shepard sighed. What were they about to show him? Was it a threat to the galaxy even more dangerous and powerful than the Reapers? A terrible truth about every race''s place in the universe? "Alright, I won''t mention this to anyone. What is it?"


    Salusia input a few commands into her omni-tool, and the holo-projector at the center of the table sprang to life, displaying a star map. "If this war has taught us anything, it''s that the universe is a dangerous place, filled with cosmic threats capable of eradicating entire civilizations."


    "Thirty-two years ago," she continued, "the astronomer Naelara V''Kara made a startling discovery. Around two-hundred thousand lightyears away¡­" On the star map, she zoomed in on a collection of star systems. "...in a dwarf galaxy you humans call the Small Magellanic Cloud, she discovered eleven star systems like this one."


    Finally, Salusia stopped zooming in and settled on the system she wanted. Apparently, this system''s star was encircled by some kind of ring, hundreds of millions of kilometers in diameter.


    "Is that¡­Is that a ringworld?" he asked.


    He''d always figured that such a megastructure was purely theoretical.


    Salusia nodded. "Yes. Naelara proved that other civilizations exist outside the galaxy and that some of them might have technology far beyond our own, or even that of the Leviathans at the height of their power."


    He held up his hand. "Wait. If that system is more than two-hundred-thousand lightyears away, then how do we know if whoever built those megastructures is still around? Light only travels so fast, so she must have been looking at how these systems were over two-hundred-thousand years ago."


    "Many have asked the same question," Salusia said, "and many have concluded that, yes, in all likelihood, whatever empire built these Dyson spheres and ringworlds has long since collapsed. But you''d be wrong."


    She pressed more keys on her omni-tool, and a window popped up on the holo-projector, displaying ten-by-ten arrays of strange, alien letters, and then a holo-vid of a strange alien from a race never seen before.


    The alien stood about four meters tall on three legs attached to a robust, V-shaped torso, and had two double-jointed arms ending with seven, spindly fingers. Like protheans, the alien had a wedge-shaped head with four green eyes, but no visible nose, and a three-sided jaw filled with razor-sharp teeth. Like turians, metallic plates also covered nearly every square inch of its body, and they glistened with a pearlescent sheen.


    "Just two days after we restored the most vital QECs and comm-buoys," Salusia said, "officials on Thessia, Palaven, and Rannoch received this broadcast from one of these very systems."


    "What do you think they want?" he asked.


    "We don''t know," Victus said. "Their intentions are a mystery."


    "Thus far," Salusia said, "their language has proven¡­difficult to translate, and nobody has been able to make sense of the character matrices they sent us. But we believe the Crucible blast might have drawn their attention to our galaxy."


    Salusia closed the hologram.


    "This incident got us thinking," Jhinon said, "that if they can spy on us from hundreds of thousands of lightyears away, then what else are they capable of? Are they so old and powerful that even the Reapers never dared attack them? And what about other civilizations inaccessible through the relay network? Analysts say the network encompasses only three to five percent of the galaxy. So there could be hundreds of uncontacted races, hundreds of civilizations with technology beyond anything we can imagine."


    "Yes," Victus said, "and should we ever encounter a hostile one even just a few hundred years ahead of us, then our only chance at survival is to band together."


    "Which is why we''ve been in talks since communications have been reestablished with Palaven, Thessia, Rannoch, and Tuchanka," Hackett said. "To put it simply, Shepard, we''re forming a new federation."


    "The Compact," Wrex said.


    For a moment, he remained quiet. The Compact. A new federation? Truthfully, nothing sounded better. Nothing pleased him more than every race uniting after a conflict as destructive and horrible as the Reaper War.


    And now that the comm-buoys and QEC systems were back online, perhaps now they''d be more able to search for the Normandy. He couldn''t help but smile. "I love the sound of that. Yeah, if uncontacted, hyper-advanced civilizations have noticed the Crucible blast, and have less than friendly intentions toward us, then now is the time to unite. Now is the time to cast aside the old galactic order in favor of something better."


    "I couldn''t put it any better myself," Hackett said. "Though this federation might take years to formalize, we''re taking our first steps. All of us have signed non-aggression pacts, along with treaties promising mutual defense, free trade, and complete access to each other''s technology. Just a few days ago, we''ve also begun work on writing the Compact''s constitution."


    "And we''d like your input on it," Victus said.


    Shepard''s eye''s widened, and his jaw dropped. "Input on the Compact''s constitution?"


    "We want you associated with it," Hackett said, "for you to always be that symbol of hope that brought us together."


    Salusia nodded. "So what do you say?"


    "I''d be honored," he said. It would give him something extra to do and help pass the time until they found the Normandy. "When do we start?"


    Hackett stood up. "I''ll keep you in contact with certain people by omni-tool. But for now, this meeting is over."


    Everyone else stood up and began to leave. He grabbed his crutches and did the same, but then Hackett put his hand on his shoulder. "Shepard, might have a word with you in private?"


    He nodded, then sat back down. "Of course."


    Once everyone else left, Hackett exhaled. "It''s concerning the other Alliance top brass. They want me to promote you to Admiral. They think the move would be great for morale and help foster unity and cohesion amongst the other species."


    "Promise me you''ll retire, saera."


    His pulse climbed, and he pursed his lips. After saving the galaxy three times, was the Alliance going to drag him back into the fold?


    "But given that we''re friends, and that nobody outranks me, I''ve already done you the courtesy of making your new rank strictly ceremonial. Officially, you''re retired."


    He exhaled, and his limbs felt lighter. "Sir, I can''t tell you how much, I¡­"


    "No thanks are necessary," Hackett said. "Even after you''ve recovered from your injuries, I doubt you''ll be fit for duty anyway. You''ve done enough for the galaxy, and now you deserve the chance to rest on your laurels." Hackett''s omni-tool beeped, and he read the newest notification. "Now, if you''ll excuse me, there are other matters that require my attention. If you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me."


    Hackett began to leave the conference room. Perhaps now was the time to ask whether he could do anything to help find the Normandy?


    "Sir?" he asked.


    Hackett turned and faced him. "We''re colleagues now, Shepard. So please, feel free to call me Hackett."


    He nodded. "Well, since the comm-buoys and QECs are back online, is there anything you can do to help find the Normandy?"


    Hackett gripped his chin. "Hhhm. It will be weeks before the Charon relay is operational again. But I''ll see what I can do. I''ll have some of the long-range scouting patrols keep an eye out for them."


    "If that''s the case," he said, "I''d like to request one more thing."


    "What?" Hackett asked.


    "I''d like to record a message and have those patrols broadcast it as far and wide as possible," he said. Anything to let her know I''m alive. "My crew, they¡­they need to know that I''m alive and well."


    Hackett put his hand on his shoulder. "Consider it done. Once you have the message recorded, send it to me on your omni-tool, and I''ll have those patrols broadcast it as far and wide as possible. After everything you''ve done for humanity and the galaxy, it''s the least I can do."


    "Thank you," he said, keeping his voice and demeanor as professional as possible. Within, he felt giddy. Should he dare get his hopes up? "It means a lot."


    "I have no doubt that we''ll find them," Hackett said. "But anyway, I''d better get going." He began to leave the conference room. "We''ll stay in touch."


    "Indeed, we will."


    When Hackett left the conference room, Shepard let out a deep sigh. For the first time since waking up after his one-month coma, his limbs felt light and rejuvenated. Just hang on, saera. This nightmare won''t last much longer.

 Chapter 7

    Garrus Vakarian looked down the scope of his M-98 Widow sniper rifle, lying prone atop a ridge overlooking a section of a tall grassland, flanked by dense forests of towering trees. Thunder boomed in the storm clouds above, and torrents of rain poured below, pittering and pattering against the forest floor and the forest canopy.


    Far in the distance, gunfire cracked through the air.


    "Two minutes to contact," Ashley said on the team comm-link, "be ready."


    "No way in hell are we letting this pendejo escape," James said. "Just you wait. Tonight, I''ll fix us up something real nice. I know just which one of my Abuela''s recipes¨C"


    "James," Javik said, "now is not the time to talk about human cuisine. Focus."


    He took a deep breath. Yes, after hours of recon, he had chosen this location carefully. James and Ashley only had to chase the target into the kill-zone, and then he and Javik would handle the rest.


    Just over two minutes later, he spotted rustling in the tall grass, then held his breath when the target came closing in fast. It loped into the kill-zone on its four, muscular legs ending with sharp hooves, and bellowed loud enough to rattle his bones. Judging by its massive crown of antlers and its leathery brown skin, the target had to be a male.


    "Do not fire yet," Javik said, "wait until it''s in range, then wait for my signal."


    He focused, adjusting his aim to account for the wind.


    Then suddenly, Javik sprang up from his concealed position at the bottom of the ridge and released a blast of blue-green biotic energy, immobilizing the target in a stasis field. "NOW!"


    He pulled the trigger. A bone-shaking crack-boom split the air. Then the target''s head exploded in a gout of blood, brains, and skull fragments.


    "Target neutralized," he said. "Great work everybody."


    "Oooh, fuck yeah!" James said. "That''s what I''m talking about baby!"


    Ashley chuckled. "Finally, a successful hunt."


    He stood up, then folded his sniper rifle before attaching it to the magnetic holster on the back of his armor. Making his way towards the bottom of the ridge, he spotted James, Ashley, and Javik approaching the target''s carcass. Soon, they huddled around it, and he joined them.


    "Oooh," James said, taking off his helmet. Over the past three months, the human''s once-powerful physique had shrunken to a much thinner, more wiry frame. On his head and face, his fur was now much thicker and longer. "We caught a big one."


    He looked at his kill, and indeed, it was a male far larger than average. Its carcass easily had enough meat to feed the entire crew, except Tali and himself, for a whole week. "Yeah, looks like it. I guess this one is closer to a¡­what did you call that Earth animal again? An elakhant?"


    James laughed. "An elephant, scars."


    "Yeah," he said, "this bastard looks more like one of those than that other earth animal, the brown one with the antlers."


    "A moose," Ashley took off her helmet. Like James, she had also grown much thinner, her face more sunken and hollow. "You''re talking about a moose." She sighed. "Anyways, now we just have to bring it back. It''ll be quite a long, long way."


    "Ah, cease your complaining," Javik said. "In my cycle, I once carried a wounded comrade over sixty of your kilometers to safety."


    "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said, "we''re all impressed. Now, how about you use your biotics to help bring this thing back to the Mako."


    Javik nodded. "Indeed." With his biotics, the prothean enveloped the carcass in a mass effect field, lowering its weight. "Enough talking. We have a long journey back."


    James took off a coil of carbon-nanofibre cable from his utility belt, then tied one end around the carcass''s back limbs. Hoisting the cable over his shoulder, the human began to drag the carcass forward. "Let''s move."


    As they headed back to the Mako, James took point, while he and Ashley guarded the flanks against any predators. Meanwhile, Javik followed, maintaining the mass effect field around the carcass.


    "Damn, your biotics are really something else," Ashley said, about an hour later. "Liara or Shepard would have needed to rest by now."


    "It''s simply a product of practice," Javik said, "and superior biotic implants. In my cycle, even your L5''s would be considered quite crude."


    "Shit, man," James said, "there anything your cycle didn''t do better?"


    An hour later, after following a winding set of trails, they finally made it back to the Mako. Ashley helped James haul the carcass into its interior.


    "Ah, finally," James said, dusting off his hands. "Now, let''s get back. I''ve got an absolute shit ton of skinning and butchering to do."


    "Yeah, you do," he said. "So get in. I''ll drive."


    James, Ashley, and Javik got into the Mako, while he got into the driver''s seat. And then he drove off, following the directions on the holo-map by the dashboard. Thank the spirits, we still had recon-drones to map this out. Without them, navigation would have been a nightmare.


    Two hours later, he sighed. Ever since the larger game had started migrating, these hunting expeditions were getting longer and longer. At this rate, they''d burn through what little fuel they had left for the Mako, and soon after, the levo crew would begin to starve. Two days ago, Traynor had also informed him that they had only a week''s worth of dextro rations left.


    So by the spirits, they couldn''t stay on this planet much longer.


    An hour later, he finally reached the base camp they''d built by the Normandy. Parking the Mako just outside the ramp leading to its cargo bay, he turned off the engine, then left the vehicle, back into the rain. All around the base camp, numerous buckets were overflowing with rainwater. Yes, for at least the next three days, nobody would have to collect water from the nearest streams, then spend hours sterilizing it of any dangerous microbes.


    James, Ashley, and Javik got out of the Mako. Again, Javik enveloped the carcass in a mass effect field, and James helped Ashley carry it outside, then up the ramp into the cargo bay. Within the cargo bay, they brought it near a pulley system Tali had set up two days after Liara had mind-melded with her. Soon after that mind-meld, Liara had passed along Tali''s agony to himself and others.


    And spirits¡­he knew nothing about love or loss.


    Yes, Felz''elt was the psychological equivalent of losing every limb, of having every plate torn off one''s body. All this time, he had underestimated Tali''s mental toughness, for such pain would have driven lesser minds to madness or suicide within only days.


    He huffed through his nose. Shouldn''t have been so hard on her. "Ok. Now, let''s haul it up."


    James untied the cable around the carcass''s back limbs, then replaced it with the one connected to the pulley system. Next, the human grabbed the other end of the pulley cable, secured to the deck with a floor hook. Once Ashley released the hook, he positioned himself next to James and also grabbed the cable to help the human pull up the carcass.


    "On the count of three, scars," James said. He nodded. "Ok, three¡­two¡­one."


    He pulled and pulled on the cable with all his strength, and once the carcass was hanging upside down, Ashley reattached the cable to the floor hook.


    He let go of the cable, along with James. James let out a sigh of relief. "Woooh, now there we go." The human dusted off his hands. "Better get to work. It''ll take quite a while for me to chop this big boy up."


    He nodded. Now, he should check up on Liara and Tali. Soon, they should return from foraging in the woods not far north.


    "Garrus!" The voice came from the elevator. It was Traynor, running towards him. "GARRUS!"


    "Woah, woah, woah," James said, "easy there."


    "Yeah, just settle down," Ashley said, "take a deep breath, then tell us what happened."


    Garrus put one of his hands on Traynor''s shoulder. What had Traynor so worked up? Normally, she was so calm and professional. "You heard them. Just take a few deep breaths."


    Traynor took several deep breaths but was still breathing heavily, as she pressed a few keys on her omni-tool. "Just¡­just a few minutes ago, I picked this up on the long-range comms."


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    So we never needed the QEC anyway. He exhaled. Thank the spirits. A month ago, Tali had reported that, despite her best efforts, it was beyond repair and needed expensive spare parts they didn''t have in the cargo bay.


    Traynor took another deep breath. "It was sent out over a month and a half ago. Good god, you need to hear it."


    Just then, a message played on her omni-tool.


    "This is John Michael Shepard of the Systems Alliance. If anyone on the SSV Normandy is listening to this message, then know this: we won. The war is over. Against all odds, the Reapers have been defeated. So wherever you are, please¡­return to the Sol system and tell Tali that I''m alive, that it''s been terribly lonely here without her. This is John Shepard, signing off."


    When the message ended, everyone was dead silent and frozen in place, their eyes wide, their mouths open. Outside, the rain continued to pitter and patter against the Normandy''s hull, along with the Mako''s.


    Shepard was alive?


    Spirits, now, there was no doubt that humanity would remember him as their greatest warrior to ever live. As Javik said just a week after the crash, he deserved nothing less than to have countless monuments dedicated to his glory, to have countless worlds and warships bearing his name. Just like Ataxharksis The Great. His chest swelled with warmth, and he couldn''t have felt any prouder to be Shepard''s closest friend, to have been there for him through everything. Yes, as soon as they got back to Earth, he would definitely buy him a drink.


    They had so much to discuss.


    Ashley gulped. "I¡­I don''t know what to say. This is¡­" She shook her head, "This is just¡­"


    "A welcome surprise," Javik said, straightening his posture, his hands clasped behind his back. "No doubt, the quarian will be pleased."


    "That," James said, "has to be the biggest understatement of the fucking decade. Man, when sparks hears that loco''s alive, she just might have a damn heart attack."


    "Yeah¡­" Ashley said. She met his gaze. "Where is she anyway?"


    "Good question," he said, "let me check up on them."


    <hr>


    Tali''Zorah picked slews of alien fruits and berries from the bizarre bushes and trees all around her, leaving behind the ones Chakwas had labeled as toxic. Keelah, she wasn''t used to so much green, to so much rain, and to spending so much time on an actual planet. She sighed. Even with Rannoch reclaimed, it would take many years for her people to grow accustomed to living with soil beneath their feet, instead of the deck of a starship.


    "So, tell me about the time when you watched Shepard face down that Reaper," Liara said. Her asari friend was behind her, keeping watch, ready to open fire on any predators with her M-4 Locust. "That is the next part isn''t it?"


    She sighed. Over the past two months, she and Liara regularly had these talks, in which she recounted all the greatest and worst moments of her relationship with John, pouring out everything she felt. Now that Liara understood her feelings, they''d helped her become more stable, more able to endure the pain that gnawed on her mind every day. "Yes. That''s next. Keelah, when he faced that Reaper head-on, I was shaking and hardly able to breathe. For a moment, I was sure that he was going to die, that I would live to see the end of my race." Under her mask, she smiled. "But then he survived and did the impossible. He saved my people from themselves and gave us back our homeworld, finally ending a three-century-long dark age."


    "How did you feel after that?" Liara asked.


    She laughed, weeping tears of joy. "I felt like the luckiest, most loved quarian in the galaxy, like Velana''Trosk from the Zendaerias."


    "The Zendaerias?"


    She grabbed another fistful of revolting alien berries from a bush with oddly-shaped leaves, then put them in the makeshift basket on her back. "It''s one of the few pieces of ancient quarian literature to have survived the Morning War. My people regard it as a timeless masterpiece, as one of the greatest tales of love and war ever written."


    "Ooh," Liara said, "even better than Fleet and Flotilla?"


    Briefly, she looked back to the earliest days of her pilgrimage, before John had whisked her away on the adventure of a lifetime. Yes, she would never forget the countless turian C-sec officers who treated her like filth, nor that disgusting boshtet in the alleyway with the revolting breath.


    She let out an amused laugh. "Oh, please, that is trashy nonsense for young, ignorant pilgrims. In the real world, no quarian has ever bonded to a turian. Our cultures and psychology are too incompatible for anything long-term. No, the Zendaerias is so much deeper and more meaningful, a beautiful expression of the lengths one will go for their lifemate."


    "What''s it about?"


    She took a deep breath, then continued to pick the fruits and berries. "It''s set about seven thousand years ago, during the quarian iron age, a time of barbarism and chaos. In the first act, the hero of the story, the famed Warmaster Zhoru''Trosk, has the perfect life. He is the heir to his father''s kingdom and the beloved protector of his clan''s lands. But his peace is not last. Soon, tensions explode with clan Trosk''s rival, the feared and hated clan Krael, and those boshtets invade the kingdom in a war of conquest, sacking any city that refused to surrender."


    "Goddess, that''s horrible," Liara said. "What happened next?"


    "As Zhoru was marshaling his armies, his second-in-command, Vaero, succumbed to his bent-up jealousy and hidden cowardice. In secret, he and a number of conspirators accepted an offer from clan Krael for the kingdom to become a vassal state, thinking they''d spare the clan a war they couldn''t win. Later, just before a crucial battle, Vaero betrays Zhoru and causes a catastrophic defeat."


    Liara gasped. "Did Zhoru survive?"


    "Even though the battle was lost, even though Vaero usurped the throne and held Zhoru''s saera hostage, hope endured. Zhoru managed to escape, along with a band of his most loyal followers. For the next three years, his saera despaired and believed he was dead. But really, he was uniting every clan he could in the unconquered lands to the south, marshaling them against their common enemy."


    "Clan Krael."


    "Yes," Tali said. "Soon, he founded the first clan confederation and marshaled an army of over one hundred and twenty thousand warriors. After that, he declared war on his most hated foe to reclaim what rightfully belonged to him, and to see his belovedagain."


    "Was he successful?" Liara asked. "Oh, please don''t tell me that Vaero killed Zhoru''s family out of petty spite."


    "As the war raged on," Tali said, picking a fistful of berries from the nearest bush, "Vaero never even considered killing Velana. If he did, Zhoru''s armies would have destroyed everyone and everything. No city in their wake would have been left standing. But yes, in the end¡­Zhoru triumphed. He toppled clan Krael''s empire and reclaimed his kingdom, all for his saera."


    Liara laughed. "So Zhoru reclaimed his kingdom, the same way John reclaimed Rannoch? All for the woman they love?"


    She smiled and laughed, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Yes. Keelah, John was practically Zhoru''Trosk reborn as a human."


    "I agree," Liara said. "It sounds like Rannoch was his greatest gift to you, the greatest expression of his love. It''s all the more reason for you to live on, Tali."


    She stopped picking fruits. "I¡­I''m trying, Liara. It''s just¡­"


    "It''s just what?"


    Her eyes stung with tears. "It''s still so hard." Her voice cracked when she said that, and she wept. She sniffled, then took a deep breath. "Every day, I miss his scent, his voice, and the warmth of his touch. Every night, I dream about him, only to wake up alone in the cold, darkness of his cabin, wishing he was there to hold me, to fill the terrible emptiness in my soul with his boundless love." She sniffled. "Nobody else will ever be able to fill that emptiness, Liara. Nobody. Without him, Rannoch will never feel like the gift he intended. It will always feel so empty, so lonely and hollow."


    "I know how much it hurts, Tali," Liara said. "I know how much you''ve been suffering over the past three months. But believe me when I tell you that emptiness won''t feel so bottomless forever. Tell me, is there anything in his cabin you can use to remember him, to keep a part of him with you forever?"


    She sniffled, remembering the rock John had given her on Rannoch.


    "Well¡­that''s a start."


    She still had it in Shepard''s cabin. Indeed, perhaps she could turn it into some kind of memento, into a part of him she could hold onto forever.


    "Yes, there is something. When we first set foot on Rannoch, he gave me¨C"


    "Hold that thought, Tali."


    Tali turned and faced Liara. The asari was pressing two of her fingers to her right ear, listening to something on a private comm channel. Why a private one?


    What was going on?


    Liara gasped and covered her mouth with one hand.


    "Liara, what is happening?" she asked. "Did something happen on the Normandy? Did another one of those predators¨C"


    Liara held up one of her hands to hush her, then exhaled. "Ok¡­I understand. We''ll return as soon as possible."


    "Liara, talk to me," she said. "What is happening on the Normandy? Who just contacted you on a private channel?"


    Liara wiped away her tears, then smiled momentarily. "When we get back, you''ll find out." She gestured for her to follow. "Come. We''ve done enough foraging for today."


    "Oh¡­uhm¡­very well," Tali said. What was going on? Why was Liara being so secretive? "Let''s head back."


    For the next half hour, she followed Liara along a winding set of trails, flanked by dense alien forests. The whole time, Liara kept wiping away her tears, smiling and letting out weak laughs.


    "Why are you crying?"


    "Oh," Liara said. "No, it''s nothing¡­" she let out a nervous laugh. "It''s just¡­well, better we stay silent until we get back. I wouldn''t want to ruin what''s to come."


    "Ruin what''s to come?" She tilted her head. "Liara, please, talk to me. Why are you being so secretive? I don''t understand."


    Liara stopped in her tracks, then turned and met her gaze. "Tali, just¡­trust me. You''ll find you out once we get back. Understood?"


    She let out a frustrated sigh. "Very well. Lead the way."


    For the next eleven minutes, she followed Liara back to the Normandy. There, in the cargo bay, a fresh kill was hanging from the pulley system she''d set up months ago, but nobody was to be found. Keelah, where was everybody?


    She followed Liara into the elevator, and Liara pressed the button for deck three. On deck three, she then followed Liara into the mess hall, where nearly the entire crew was sitting at the table.


    "Garrus, what''s going on?" she asked. "Why is Liara being so secretive?"


    "So glad you could join us, Tali," Garrus said. "Have a seat. We have a surprise for you."


    She sat in an empty seat. "A surprise?"


    Garrus opened up a window on his omni-tool, then input a few commands.


    "This is John Michael Shepard of the Systems Alliance. If anyone¡­"


    She froze. Her eyes went wide and she gasped, barely able to breathe. As she continued to listen to his voice, she put one hand on her vocalizer and that hand began to shake. Looking at the ground, she burst into tears and began to hyperventilate.


    No.


    This was impossible.


    This had to be another nightmare. Yes, soon, she would wake up yet again in the darkness of his cabin, only to find herself cold and alone.


    "...and tell Tali that I''m alive, that it''s been terribly lonely here without her. This is John Shepard, signing off."


    Her chest heaved with racking sobs, and she doubled over and hugged herself. Shivering, she dug her fingertips into her arms, and her breathing became so ragged she feared she might suffocate. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP!


    Everyone around the table were telling her things, but she couldn''t hear them. Soon, Garrus stood up, grabbed her arm, then hauled her out of her seat. She lacked the energy to resist and allowed him to take her to the med bay, her knees weak, her eyes stinging with tears. Soon, she was lying on one of the medical cots, and Chakwas came over and knelt beside her.


    "Shhh, it''s okay, Tali," the doctor said, "just take a few deep breaths. Okay?"


    She nodded, then took a few deep breaths.


    Chakwas put one hand on her shoulder. "After how much you''ve suffered, I know this wonderful news must have been a complete shock to you. So for now, I want you to just lay on your side and take more deep breaths, while I run some tests. Can you do that for me?"


    She nodded, then complied, taking one deep breath after the other.


    This isn''t a dream, she realized eventually.


    Yes, she wasn''t waking up. This was real. Her saera was alive.


    And by the ancestors, nothing would stop her from seeing him again.

 Chapter 8

    Shepard was sitting in his office, his own tent with a cot, a desk, and a terminal, when he opened up the recently published casualty and damage report for the Reaper War. He read through it, and his eye widened when he reached the final figures.


    The total casualties amounted to at least thirty billion, more than every war, famine, and plague in human, turian, and asari history combined.


    And the total costs in damages amounted to at least two quadrillion credits, enough to bankrupt the pre-war governments of every council race combined three times over.


    He leaned back into his chair, then sighed. Will we ever recover from this? Will things ever be the same?


    His omni-tool beeped when he received an incoming call from the supervisor of camp six. He answered it. "Yes?"


    "We found them."


    His eye widened and he let out a weak gasp. The new ''Family Affairs Department'' he''d set up had already reunited countless Reaper War veterans with their families. But had it finally done what he had hoped? "The five asari I asked for?"


    The supervisor sighed. "Only three of them, the mother and two of her children."


    His heart raced and he gulped. "What happened?"


    "Two of the mother''s children are dead," the supervisor said, "and both the mother and her other kids refuse to say anything more about it."


    He sighed and leaned back into his chair, closing his eye and pinching the bridge of his nose. Damn it. He should have known that something like this would happen. After all, nobody escaped a conflict like the Reaper War without losing something. "Very well. Have someone bring them to landing pad three. I''ll handle things from there."


    "Right away, prefect." The supervisor ended the call.


    He took a deep breath. Just three days after no longer needing his exoskeleton, and finally becoming independent enough to care for himself, he had accepted an offer from Hackett to become the prefect of camps one through six. Apparently, the Admiral had been keeping tabs on his exchanges with the camp supervisors, and had concluded that the last prefect needed to be replaced.


    "My staff say you''re practically doing his job for him."


    In hindsight, he should have expected that to happen. During the war, he had learned the arts of diplomacy, administration, and logistics under pressure, having to organize countless evacuations and resupplies, along with having to perform countless favors and negotiations.


    He never enjoyed getting somebody demoted or fired. But for the good of the people, he had taken that prefect''s position. In these dark times, apathetic or incompetent officials would only make things worse for everyone. And besides, the work helped distract his mind from the Normandy, from how it was still missing almost nine weeks after broadcasting that message.


    He grabbed his cane and sat up. Just how would Hayes react to being reunited with what remained of his family? Hopefully, the death of two of his daughters wouldn''t break him. After everything his friend had been through, the man deserved to be happy.


    He left his office, out into the cold, evening air, and gestured for Grunt and his other Krogan bodyguard, Urdnot Ghor, to follow him. After human-batarian tensions exploded into a shootout that killed eleven people in total, Wrex was more than eager to assign them to his service.


    "Where to now, Battlemaster?" Grunt asked.


    "A subordinate of mine has found three people I requested," he said. "We''re going to landing pad three to pick them up."


    Ghor and Grunt nodded, and they followed him. On the way to the landing pad, he looked around him, and couldn''t help but smile at how much the camps had changed ever since he awoke from his one-month coma. Rachni workers had cleared most of the streets of rubble and debris. With the major relays back online, Earth had been receiving a steady stream of off-world imports, allowing him to plan and organize the construction of new food processing centers, and hab-complexes with running water and electricity.


    Finally, the camps were starting to resemble proper settlements, not makeshift tent cities.


    As always, people stared at him, as he passed by, saluting or nodding. And always, he returned the gesture. Soon, he reached the landing pad three, and a few minutes later, a shuttle descended from the air and landed before him. Its side door opened and Aela T''Sarik stepped outside, along with Ashara and Falani Hayes.


    The three were wearing dirty, ragged clothing, and looked much thinner and frailer than how they appeared in Hayes'' photos. In those photos, Aela stood about one head taller than her eldest children. So Ashara and Falani couldn''t be older than twenty Earth years. Yes, on the SR-1, Liara had mentioned that twenty Earth years was how long it took for most Asari children to stop physically growing.


    He gestured for the shuttle pilot to leave, and the pilot nodded. The shuttle rose into the air on its thrusters and kicked up a cloud of dust before flying off.


    Aela gulped, struggling to look him in the eye. "Why did you bring us here?"


    Shepard took a deep breath. Best be as blunt as possible."You know who I am. So let''s skip the introductions." He cleared his throat. "Your bondmate, Captain Conor Hayes, is alive."


    Aela and her children gasped, their eyes wide, their mouths open.


    "He¡­He''s alive?" Aela managed to say, her voice shaky. Her eyes looked watery. "How? They told me his whole company perished."


    "Against all odds," he said, "your bondmate survived the Battle of the Beam, along with two others. Over the past two months, he''s become quite a good friend of mine, and I promised I''d help him find you three. Every day, he''s been worried sick about you."


    Aela and her children burst into tears, into a fit of joyful sobs. "Oh¡­Oh, praise Athame! Praise Athame!"


    Ashara sniffled and met his gaze, her eyes filled with hope and desperation. "Where is he? Where is our father?"


    "Come," he said, gesturing for them to follow, "let''s go see him."


    They followed. When they got to just outside his office, he stopped in his tracks, then faced them. "Go wait inside. He''ll be here shortly."


    They complied. Next, he opened up a window on his omni-tool and sent Hayes a message telling him to come to his office immediately. Within seconds, Hayes replied, saying he''d come right away. And minutes later, he spotted Hayes in the distance, waving one of his arms. He approached him.


    "Shepard," Hayes said, extending his hand for a handshake. He gave Hayes a firm one. "I got your message. What''s this about?"


    "I have a surprise for you."


    Hayes'' eyes widened. "A surprise?" He grinned. "Well come on, then. Let''s go see it."


    Hayes followed him to just outside his office. As Grunt and Ghor took their sentry positions, he stepped inside, along with Hayes. And immediately, Hayes froze when spotted his family, as if he had just come face to face with ghosts.


    "Father?" Falani asked as if questioning if he was really there.


    Tears streamed down Hayes cheeks. His friend let out a shaky breath, then pursed his lips. "Am I¡­" He gulped, wiping away his tears. "Am I dreaming right now?"


    Again, Aela burst into tears. "No." She broke into a fit of joyful sobs. "No, you''re not."


    Hayes smiled and spread out his arms. "Come here."


    Abruptly, Aela, Ashara, and Falani ran into Hayes'' embrace, into a warm group hug. For over a minute, they kept laughing and crying, unable to let go of each other.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    He smiled and a warm, fuzzy sensation blossomed in his chest. Yes, now, countless Reaper War veterans, like Hayes, would get the closure and peace they deserve after being reunited with their families. In a few years, they will finally be able to put the war behind them.


    But when would it be his turn?


    Would he even get one?


    Eventually, Hayes and his family finally let go of each other. Hayes wiped away his tears, then faced him. "I don''t know how I''ll ever be able to thank you for this¡­but tell me, where''s Enalia and Kionie?"


    He gulped and pursed his lips, looking down at the ground. He huffed through his nose. Damn it. How was he supposed to tell him this? "Yeah¡­uhm¡­about that. Best you talk to your bondmate about it."


    He whirled around to face her. "What happened to them?" he asked, his voice frantic. "What happened to my little girls?"


    Aela took a deep breath. "Conor¡­" she choked out. "I need you to trust me, okay."


    His heart broke at the pain in his friend''s eyes. Don''t let this break you.


    Aela approached Hayes and held her bondmate''s head with both hands. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and became inky black pools of darkness, as she began a mind-meld. And a few minutes later, she let go. In the ensuing silence, Hayes remained frozen in place, looking at the ground with wide eyes and an open mouth. The whole time, Aela stared at her bondmate, as if dreading how he''d react next.


    "Hayes?" he asked. "Hayes, what happened? Talk to me."


    Hayes gulped, then pursed his lips as tears were running down his cheeks. His friend wiped those tears away before facing him. "This war¡­I should have known that I''d never survive it without paying some sort of price."


    "Hayes, I¡­" he said, "I wish I could say or do something to help you with your loss. But¨C"


    Hayes put one hand on his shoulder, then gripped it firmly. His friend gave him strong eye contact. "But thanks to you, my daughters'' killers are fucking ash in the wind." He took a deep breath. "Me and my family, we can finally put this nightmare behind us." He let out a weak laugh. "God¡­we owe you a debt we can never repay. I swear if you need anything¨C"


    "You owe me nothing," he interrupted. "This war has already taken too much from all of us."


    "But¨C"


    "No buts," he said. "Right now, it seems you have a lot of catching up to do."


    Aela laughed. "True."


    Hayes smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Alright then."


    Hayes and his family began to leave the office. But just before doing so, Hayes looked behind him and gave a salute. "God bless you, you magnificent bastard."


    Smiling, he saluted back. Then finally, his friend and his family left the tent.


    Closing his eye, he took a long, deep breath, and a blissful, euphoric sensation coursed through his limbs. Yes, finally, his friend was reunited with his family. Hopefully, they''d live a long, happy life together in this post-war galaxy, in these dark, uncertain times.


    Now, just before he left his office, what was he planning to do?


    The files.


    Yes, for too long, he had avoided opening the files Matriarch Salusia had sent him, the ones concerning the fates of the Raloi, the Kwi''Voth, and the Virtual Aliens after the Crucible blast.


    But no more.


    It was time to face the consequences of his actions.


    He sat at his desk, then opened the first one on his terminal, the one concerning the fate of the Raloi.


    Apparently, Raloi were sexually dimorphic, avian-like aliens that reminded him of turians. Unlike turians, however, Raloi stood about one head taller, on average, and had much longer limbs. Instead of a metallic carapace, they had a coating of brightly colored feathers. And instead of a snout, they had a dull, flat beak.


    Before the Reaper War, they had a type-1 Kardashev civilization but were yet to explore their own home system. On their homeworld, the economies of all six nation-states were completely reliant on a workforce of slave robots, and powerful AIs automating the infrastructure and industries of their cities.


    Apparently, the asari government believed they''d end up just like the quarians, and had integrated them as a minor council race, hoping to wean them off their dependence on AIs. But when the Reapers invaded, drowning the galaxy in blood and fire, the Raloi retreated to their home system and cut off all contact, likely hoping the Reapers would consider them too primitive harvest.


    After the Crucible blast, however, an Asari scout corvette returned to their home system, only to discover that their civilization had collapsed into anarchy and barbarism.


    He studied a few images, depicting birds-eye views of their once-great cities of towering, needle-like spires and colossal, glittering pyramids. Now, many of them were burning husks of their former selves, in which warlords waged endless conflicts for resources and territory.


    Apparently, millions of Raloi have already died of starvation, and thousands more perished every day in the wars brought about by the collapse of their planet''s nations.


    He froze. Closing his eye, he clenched his fists and jaw, then huffed through his nose. An icy pain grew in his chest and racked his heart and lungs, slowly squeezing the breath out of his lungs.


    Were EDI and the Geth not enough?


    He took a deep breath and a dreadful weight bore down on every fiber of his being.


    God, just how much had he sacrificed to destroy the Reapers?


    He opened up the next report, which concerned the fate of the Virtual Aliens. About ten thousand years ago, the Virtual Aliens were known as the Dhin''Jaah, a species of six-limbed aliens with barrel-shaped torsos, fish-like skin, and bulbous heads abound with eyes and tentacles.


    At one point in their history, they discovered that their home system''s star was about to go supernova. And apparently, they escaped extinction by digitizing their minds and uploading them into simulations within hundreds of advanced quantum computers, aboard five colossal starships about three times as big and powerful as the Destiny Ascension.


    A few years before the Reaper War, the AI piloting of one of those starships established diplomatic contact with the Citadel Council, seeking a replacement for the power source maintaining one of the Dhin''Jaah''s virtual worlds. After much debate, the Citadel Council agreed to help them, in exchange for some of their advanced technology, but kept their existence classified.


    Just before the Reaper War, the Virtual Aliens vanished. But later, shortly after the major relays came back online, a salarian scout squadron rediscovered their ships, only to find them completely empty and lifeless, as little more than debris drifting endlessly through the void of space. Aboard them, every computer was blackened and fried, and the simulations containing billions of Dhin''Jaah were no more.


    His stomach lurched. His heart raced, and he couldn''t breathe. Closing his eye, he took a deep breath, and tears streamed down his cheeks.


    So not only had he caused the collapse of Raloi civilization, but he had also murdered EDI and genocided the Geth, the Dhin''Jaah, and anything like them.


    God, just how many civilizations had his decision destroyed?


    With every ounce of willpower within him, he forced himself to read the next report, which concerned the fate of the Kwi''Voth. Before the Reaper War, the Kwi''Voth were a hyper-advanced race confined to a single star system. Like the Dhin''Jaah, they had also digitized their minds, but had uploaded them into a simulation within a Star-Brain, within an impossibly vast computer encasing their home system''s star. Evidently, they could also download their minds into nano-technological, synthetic bodies inhabiting their home system''s eight solid planets. Each of those planets was covered in a world-spanning city or factory, with spires dwarfing any skyscraper on Illium or Thessia.


    He studied a diagram of the nano-technological bodies with which Kwi''Voth used to interact with the physical world. And they were faceless humanoids over three meters tall with mirror-like skin, and inhumanly long limbs ending with tridactyl hands and feet.


    Despite their technological might, the Kwi''Voth never bothered to discover means of traveling and communicating faster than light, nor ever desired to expand beyond their single star system. Apparently, they were also staunch isolationists, who wanted nothing to do with aliens, and had barely tolerated the ''intruders'' who discovered them, shortly before the Reaper War.


    After the Crucible blast, an asari scout frigate went to check up on them, only to discover that their home system''s star had gone supernova, that the Kwi''Voth and their eons-old civilization had been wiped from existence.


    He leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk, his head in his hands as he stared at the ground, his eye wide, his mouth open.


    What have I done?


    Yes, he was the worst monster in galactic history, the doom of perhaps hundreds of innocent civilizations. And yet everyone was calling him a hero ¨C treating him like some damned messiah! He slammed his fist into the desk. Squinting his eye, he pinched the bridge of his nose, as hot tears streamed down his cheek. He took a ragged, deep breath, then leaned back into his chair. Every second, an ice-cold pressure crushed his heart and lungs.


    Was this why he hadn''t heard even a whisper from the Normandy? For once, had fate decided to be just and punish him with what he deserved?


    Yes, perhaps he didn''t deserve to see his saera again. Perhaps he didn''t deserve to enjoy a quiet, peaceful retirement. Perhaps he deserved to die, and the only reason he''d survived was so he could suffer the rest of his life alone, as a fucking cripple, haunted by the vengeful spirits of his countless victims.


    "It is the ideal solution¡­"


    Briefly, he looked back to the Catalyst, and the avatar it had chosen in some petty attempt to emotionally manipulate him. His blood boiled when he remembered its arrogant, self-righteous attitude.


    Yes, it would be laughing at him right now. It would be reveling in his misery, taking such pride that he had chosen the ''worst'' solution.


    "Your children will build synthetics¡­"


    Huffing through his nose, he clenched his fists and jaw, gritting his teeth. More and more, his body tensed up.


    "...and the chaos will come back."


    Again, he slammed his fists into the desk.


    NO!


    The Catalyst would not get the last laugh!


    He would not allow his guilt to consume him, for none of this was his fault anyway. Yes, the Catalyst had forced him to genocide the Geth, Kwi''Voth, and the Dhin''Jaah, the same way the Illusive Man had forced him to shoot Anderson.


    Their ghosts may haunt him for the rest of his life, but ultimately there was no use in despairing over what he couldn''t change, over what he couldn''t undo. He had made his decision, and now he would use his pain for something productive.


    Yes, for once, he would make use of his fame, and write and publish a treatise condemning the Catalyst. In it, he would champion the quarians and the geth as proof that its insane solution was wrong, that synthetics and organics were more than capable of coexisting, of thriving under the right circumstances.


    Just then, he heard someone shouting his name just outside his office. Oh, what now? Reining in his emotions, he grabbed his cane, then stepped outside, only to spot Kasumi sprinting towards him.


    "SHEP!"


    He held up his hand to stop her, and she stopped before him, catching her breath. What had her this excited?


    "Easy there," he said, "take a deep breath, then tell me what happened."


    She took a deep breath. "The Normandy, it''s¡­it''s here. Spacedock control just cleared it for landing."

 Chapter 9

    Tali''Zorah was working at her console in engineering, humming a tune of her mother''s favorite folk song, when the Normandy''s public announcement system beeped.


    "Attention all crew members," Joker said, "we have just been cleared to land. So wherever you are, get your buts up to deck two. You''ll definitely want to see the view out here."


    She smiled. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath through her nose, and a blissful calm coursed through her limbs. Oh, praise the ancestors. Yes, during the five-day transit to the Sol system, the repairs had held. No vital system had suffered a catastrophic failure.


    And now, they could finally say goodbye to that fre''eg ball of a planet.


    Yes, mere hours from now, she would finally see her lifemate again. Soon, she would run into his arms, then relish his masculine scent and warm body heat. Soon, she would stare into his beautiful, blue eyes and savor the sound of his deep, soothing voice.


    At last, Felz''elt would unlatch its claws from her mind and set her free.


    Closing her console, she turned and headed towards the elevator, along with Ken, Gabby, and Adams.


    The elevator door closed and Ken smiled. "You excited, Tali?"


    She laughed. "Of course, I am, you bosh''tet."


    "Bet the Commander''s just as eager to see you, girl," Gabby said.


    Adams nodded. "Not much longer now. Soon, this will all feel like just a bad dream."


    Eventually, the elevator arrived on deck two. There, the rest of the crew were gathered near the cockpit, near the door to the airlock. She joined them, then stopped in her tracks when she saw the view through the fore view-screen. It was depicting the aftermath of the final battle for Earth in all its terrible scale.


    Once, the human homeworld had been a blue-green jewel of a planet, covered in thick, white clouds. But now, it was a grey-black husk of its former self, surrounded by a sprawling debris field of dead Reapers and the fragments of countless ruined warships. Keelah, throughout the war, the Reapers had raped and ravaged Earth so thoroughly that now it seemed barely habitable, hardly better than Tuchanka.


    She sighed and couldn''t help but feel a pang of sympathy for all humans. Easily, they were her favorite aliens, the only ones with no prejudice against her people. They didn''t deserve to practically lose the planet from which they evolved, from where they forged their first civilizations before expanding out into the stars.


    Hopefully, they would recover from this.


    She began to pace around. When they landed, would John be waiting for her once she stepped out of the airlock? Keelah, was he okay? After surviving that explosion, he must have sustained many injuries, and oh, ancestors, if only she could have been there for him during his recovery. The whole time, she would have never left his side. Every day, she would have given him the love and support he needed.


    "Tali," Garrus said firmly, "I know how badly you want to see him. But spirits, please¡­settle down."


    She stopped in her tracks. "Settle down?" she whirled around to face him. "How can I settle down at a time like this? He''s alive, Garrus. He''s alive and he needs me."


    "We know, Tali," Liara said. "We know."


    Soon, the Normandy Earth''s atmosphere. In just over an hour, it would land in the London spaceport.


    Then finally, the hard times would be over.


    <hr>


    John froze. His mouth fell open. His eye went wide, and for a moment he ceased to notice any of his surroundings.


    The Normandy was here? Had his crew actually received his message and survived long enough to return to the Sol system?


    Kasumi was snapping her fingers near his face. "Shep? Shep, did you hear me?"


    He shook his head, snapping out of his reverie. "I''m sorry. Let me just make sure I heard you correctly." Closing his eye, he took a deep breath. "Did you just say that the Normandy is here? That it''s just been cleared for landing?"


    Kasumi grabbed both his shoulders. "Yes! As hard as this is to believe, the Normandy is here. Your crew is alive¡­and Tali ¨C your saera ¨C is waiting for you."


    Briefly, he looked at the ground and his eye watered. He let out a weak laugh, and a euphoric sensation rushed through his limbs and insides.


    This wasn''t a dream.


    Karma hadn''t taken away his crew as punishment for his crimes. Instead, they had beaten the odds. They had survived and did just fine without him.


    But was Tali among the survivors?


    Over the past three months, she must have believed he was dead. So in her grief, had she already killed herself? Would Garrus or Liara have to give him the bad news and shatter his life forever?


    The thought froze the blood in his veins.


    His pulse surged. He gulped and broke into a cold sweat. "Kasumi," he said, giving her strong eye contact, "are you absolutely sure that she''s alive? Have you seen her? Talked to her?"


    She let go of him. From the look in her eyes, he could tell she hadn''t thought of this. "Oh, uhm¡­no. I haven''t seen or talked to her." She met his gaze. "But she''s a very, very tough girl. I''m sure she''s alive. She has to be. And besides, there''s only one way to find out."


    He nodded. Damn right. He opened a window on his omni-tool and sent a message to his personal shuttle pilot, saying he needed a ride to the London spaceport. He took a deep breath. "Alright. I just called a shuttle to take us to the spaceport. Come, there''s no time to waste."


    Kasumi laughed. "That''s the spirit, Shep."


    He gestured for Grunt and Ghor to follow him, and the two Krogan complied.


    "Battlemaster?" Grunt asked.


    "Yes?"


    "The Normandy," Grunt said, "it''s here? The rest of your Krantt, they''ve survived?"


    "Yes," he said, "and now we''re going to the spaceport to meet them."


    Ghor let out a booming laugh. "Did you truly believe that anything less than the Reapers ¨C the destroyers of countless civilizations ¨C could have laid his Krantt low? Of course not!"


    Grunt chuckled, his voice low and rumbling. "No. Nothing could bring them low."


    Soon, they arrived at landing pad one. A few minutes later, a shuttle descended from the sky and landed right before them, kicking up a cloud of dust. Its side door opened.


    Then he stepped within and took a seat, along with Kasumi and his two Krogan bodyguards. When the side door closed, the shuttle rose into the air, then flew off towards the London spaceport about twenty-five kilometers away.


    Meanwhile, he looked out the viewport, at the landscape below. Once, it would have been abound with towering skyscrapers, lighting up the night with artificial lights. But now, it was only a wasteland of crumbling, burned-out buildings, a vista of snow and ash teeming with great craters and gouges in the earth. Amidst the endless night, the artificial lights of the civilian camps were like only distant embers.


    He sighed. No wonder they''re moving the capital. Like Tuchanka, Earth was now barely habitable, a useless rock engulfed in a global ice age.


    But which planet would be the new center of human civilization?


    Eden Prime? Bekenstein? Elysium?


    He had no idea.


    Eventually, the shuttle arrived at the spaceport. Unlike the civilian camps, it was bristling with lights lighting up the night, and was bustling with activity. For as far as he could see out the viewport, countless shuttles, trucks, and cars were moving to and fro, transporting cargo and personnel from one location to the other.


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    Finally, the shuttle landed on the nearest landing pad. The side door opened, and he stepped outside, along with Kasumi, Grunt, and Ghor.


    "Ok," he said, "where are they landing Kasumi?"


    "Follow me," she said.


    After passing through the first security checkpoint, he followed Kasumi into the spaceport. Within, crowds of civilians and personnel kept staring at him wherever he passed by, either saluting, nodding, or whispering amongst themselves. Many were even screaming his name, trying to get his attention. But thankfully, Ghor and Grunt kept anyone from approaching too close for comfort.


    Eventually, he reached another security checkpoint, where Alliance and Hierarchy soldiers were cordoning off access to terminal A-43. As he approached, they saluted and let him through without a word.


    Just ahead was a throng of people. Within it, he spotted Jack, Miranda, Jacob, Wrex, Shala''Raan, and numerous soldiers and officers of all the compact''s member''s races.


    Miranda''s eyes widened when she saw him. "Shepard!"


    She approached him. Instead of her combat armor, she was wearing an Alliance uniform, and so was Jacob. Finally, they can put Cerberus behind them. "I suppose you''ve heard the news."


    "You bet I did," he said. "So when are they landing?"


    Miranda checked her omni-tool. "In about five to seven minutes."


    His heart pounded and adrenaline rushed through his veins. His limbs felt light and bursting with energy. Might as well be a whole hour! "Then all we can do now is wait."


    He made his way to the front of the crowd, so his crew ¨C and hopefully Tali ¨C would be the first person they saw upon exiting the Normandy. Leaning onto his cane with both hands, he began tapping his right foot. Every minute felt like an hour, and soon his heart was thrashing in his chest. Soon, his breaths became quick and labored, and his forehead grew damp with cold sweat.


    Closing his eye, he took a deep breath, then counted to ten.


    Yes, in the next few minutes, either his life would fall apart, or it would ascend to heights he never could have imagined. Whatever the case, however, he was ready.


    He would face the coming moment head-on.


    <hr>


    Tali''Zorah entered the Normandy''s airlock, along with the rest of the crew. Ancestors, every second felt maddeningly long. Ceaselessly, her heart hammered inside her chest, and she couldn''t stop wringing her hands.


    Keelah, could this stupid machine go any slower?


    The decontamination cycle began. "Equalizing pressure with exterior atmosphere¡­"


    She took a deep breath. Yes, now was the perfect time to say this. "Garrus, Liara, Ashley, Ken, Gabby, Adams."


    "Yes?" Liara said.


    "Before we go out there," she said, "I want to thank all of you for refusing to give up on me. If not for your intervention, I would not be standing here. Felz''elt would have consumed me, and John, he¡­"


    "It was our pleasure," Garrus said.


    Ashley chuckled. "Damn right, it was."


    "Yes," Liara said, "your perseverance has finally paid off, Tali."


    "And now it''s time for your reward," Gabby said.


    Finally, the decontamination cycle ended. Sweating, she closed her eyes and held her breath when the airlock door opened with a hiss of air and a metallic whine.


    Now or never.


    She opened her eyes¡­


    And right across from her stood her saera.


    Their eyes met and her breath hitched. For a moment, she ceased to notice anything but him. And they stared at each other for what felt like hours, like days, like years.


    It''s him! It''s really him!


    Smiling, she burst into tears and covered her vocalizer with both hands, hardly able to breathe. Keelah, this was actually happening. This was real. Finally, her suffering was over.


    Sobbing, she took her first few steps, and so did John. Tears were running down her cheeks, and her hands trembled, as she reached for the clasps around her mask. Yes, by quarian standards, her immune system was now abnormally strong and should be more than capable of handling this.


    She wrenched off her mask and dropped it on the ground.


    At the same time, John dropped his cane.


    And then she broke into a sprint and barreled right into his embrace. Without hesitation, she grabbed his head, then mashed her lips against his in a deep, passionate kiss.


    She melted in his arms, and his scent and body heat drove her wild, sending a wave of euphoria racing through her insides. She hummed with bliss and wanted this moment to last forever. But eventually, they grew breathless and their lips parted.


    Still grabbing his head, she rested her forehead against his, and her chest heaved with joyful sobs.


    "You¡­You came back to me," she managed to say, her voice choked with emotion.


    He smiled and held her tighter. "I swore I''d give you more time, didn''t I? Well¡­here I am." Again, their lips met in another kiss. She leaned into it, and a warm, fuzzy sensation blossomed in her chest.


    Their lips parted, and her cheeks became damp with tears.


    "Now," John said, "we''ll have each other forever."


    She burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughing and crying, and clung to him as though he might vanish if she let go. Eagerly, he returned the gesture, holding her tightly as she sobbed in his arms. The whole time, she drank in and savored every second of this moment, searing it into her memory.


    Oh, praise the ancestors. Praise the ancestors!


    All her suffering had been worth it.


    Now, nothing would ever drive them apart again.


    Just then, she heard somebody clear their throat as if irritated. Reluctantly, she pulled away from John and turned, only to face her Auntie Raan, who was holding out her mask.


    "Oh!" Quickly, she grabbed her mask, then put it back on. "Auntie Raan!"


    She embraced her auntie in a warm, tight hug, then let go.


    "It''s so good to see you again, Tali," Raan said. "For a while, I thought I lost you. But for the love of the ancestors, why did you take off your mask? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"


    "I''m sorry, auntie, it''s just¡­"


    Raan crossed her arms and tilted her head. "It''s just what? Hhhm? Tell me, were you so excited to see him again that you risked illness just to kiss him?" She took a deep breath. "Keelah, so I suppose the rumors are true then, that you''ve bonded to a human?"


    John grabbed one of her hands and gave it a light squeeze. Briefly, she met his gaze and he nodded. She sighed and looked back at Raan. No hiding it now. Yes, she was done caring about the opinions of others. "Yes, auntie. The rumors are true. John is my saera."


    Raan recoiled a little when she said that. "So you''ve linked suits? You''ve completed the week of seclusion?"


    "So tell me, Miss Vas Normandy¡­will you be my saera?"


    Yes, during that two-week shore leave, she and John had done nothing but make love, watch vids, and talk for hours in that sterilized hotel room. Her immune system had adapted to him seamlessly, and she felt like the luckiest quarian in the galaxy.


    "Yes," she said. John wrapped one arm around her waist, and she nuzzled into him, smiling. "We''ve done all of those things. Humans are very compatible with us, and we can adapt to them safely."


    Raan took a deep breath. "I guess I shouldn''t be surprised." She looked at John. "Admiral Shepard?"


    "Promise me you''ll retire, saera."


    Admiral? Her pulse climbed. No. What was the meaning of this? Had the Alliance¨C


    John held her tighter. "Retired Admiral."


    She exhaled. Keelah, what a relief. For a moment, she had believed he had broken his promise.


    "Yes," Raan said, "I should have clarified that. Anyways, when you are available, I must speak with you in private. We have much to discuss."


    "Of course, Shala," John said, and then Raan walked away.


    At the same time, she spotted Kasumi emerge from the crowd, approaching her. "Kasumi!"


    Kasumi ran toward her. "Tali!"


    Laughing, she embraced Kasumi in a sisterly hug. "It''s so good to see you again."


    She let go. Kasumi''s cheeks looked wet with tears. "Wait, have you been crying?"


    Kasumi sniffled. "I''m just so happy for you." She laughed. "Oh, the way you ran into his arms, the way you two just stood there, holding each other, it¡­it was beautiful, so beautiful."


    Abruptly, John put one hand on her shoulder. "Garrus is just dying to talk me, so for now I''ll let you two catch up."


    She faced him. "Oh¡­uhm¡­of course, John."


    Once more, she faced Kasumi. "Even now, it feels almost surreal that he''s alive. This¡­" She let out a joyful sob. "This is the best day of my life."


    "After everything you and Shep have been through," Kasumi said, "you two deserve nothing less."


    "How is he?" she asked. Over the past three months, what has he been doing? "Is he well? He has an eye-patch and a cane now."


    Briefly, Kasumi looked away, breaking eye-contact. "I won''t lie to you, sister. The Crucible blast banged him up really badly. Physically, he will never be his old self. And mentally, he''s suffered a fresh set of scars."


    She gasped and covered her vocalizer with both hands. During their long, terrible separation, had he been suffering in silence, with nobody to listen to his troubles? "Oh¡­"


    "Yep," Kasumi said. "For the past two months, something has been eating at him. Every day, he''s been burying so much pain, so much guilt and shame. I''m not sure what it is, but I think it has something to do with EDI and the Geth. More than once, I''ve caught him talking about them in his sleep."


    "EDI and the Geth?"


    Kasumi''s eye''s widened. "You don''t know? The Geth, they¡­they''re gone, Tali. The Crucible blast destroyed every last one of them."


    Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. The Geth were no more? Was the peace John had brokered between them and her people all for nothing? She looked at the ground. Without them, rebuilding efforts would be set back by decades. Now, she might never enjoy a completely suitless life on Rannoch.


    "Keelah¡­"


    Kasumi sighed. "Without you, he''s been slipping into his old, grumpy self every day." Kasumi grabbed both her shoulders and gave her strong eye contact. "Now, he needs you more than ever."


    She nodded. Yes, soon, she would need to ask John about what happened on the Crucible. Clearly, he had done something that caused him great pain and suffering. But no matter what it was, one thing was certain.


    She would never give up on him.


    One way or another, she would salve the wounds in his soul and shower him with the love and devotion he needed.


    "Oh, of course," she said.


    Kasumi smiled, then let go of her. "Good. Now, I bet you''re just dying for some alone time with him. So better we talk later." Kasumi hugged her. "Good luck, sister."


    She smiled."Thank you," she said, and Kasumi let go and nodded before disappearing back into the crowd.


    She turned and spotted John talking to Garrus, Liara, and Ashley. Were they telling him about their miserable time on that alien planet, about how she had sunk into deepest depths of despair, feeling so lost and alone that every day she yearned for death?


    Eventually, he turned. Their eyes met and he smiled. She smiled back, and they approached each other.


    Once more, he wrapped one arm around her waist and looked deeply into her eyes. "We''re going to continue our little reunion on the Normandy, where nobody can disturb us. Care to join me?"


    She giggled. "Of course, you bosh''tet."


    Arm in arm, they made their way back into the Normandy. On the way, she yearned for a moment alone with him, for an opportunity to make up for so much lost time. But for now, that could wait. For now, she was content to be in his arms, rejoicing that the long night was finally over, that the first rays of hope had finally broken through the dark clouds of her mind.


    Yes, from here on, things would only get easier.


    Soon, she would have the life she had always wanted, the life she had always dreamed of since her days on the SR-1.


    And within a few years, the Reaper War would be only a distant memory.

 Chapter 10

    John Shepard was sitting at the Normandy''s mess hall table, drumming his fingers on its surface, when Tali put her hand on his thigh.


    "So there I was," Garrus said, "firing shot after shot at the nastiest pack of those red-furred¡­"


    He stopped listening to Garrus'' hunting story and looked at her. She was sitting right beside him, and his heart turned to mush at the way she was looking at him. Even now, over an hour and a half since the ship had landed, she kept staring at him, as if awestruck by his presence. She had never been further than an arm''s length away and kept touching him, as though confirming that he was real.


    His free hand met the one she had placed on his thigh, and he gave it a gentle squeeze.


    "I wrestled with the pack leader," James continued, "and the pendejo kept snarling and growling, trying¡­"


    He was only partially listening. But still, he couldn''t help but marvel that his crew had survived for over three months on an alien world, having to hunt and forage like ancient hunter-gatherers. It couldn''t have been easy.


    And his beloved¡­


    His heart broke at the thought of how much she must have suffered, of how she had believed he was dead but chose to live on, racked with crippling psychological pain.


    How did she ever cope?


    There was so much he wanted to say to her.


    But If only they could get some time alone.


    She caressed his thigh, and he smiled. God, he couldn''t wait to get to Rannoch and set up their new life. He couldn''t wait to wake up every morning to her heelrou and find her nuzzled right beside him.


    So perhaps he should take his first steps towards making that future a reality.


    He stood up. "If you''ll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." Tali looked at him, longingly, and began to wring her hands. "I''ll be back in no time," he whispered into an audio receptor of her helmet.


    And then he made his way to the bathroom.


    "What''s the matter, Tali?" he heard Garrus ask on the way there. "Can''t handle a whole minute without him?"


    Tali scoffed. "Remember Garrus, I have a shotgun."


    Soon, he entered the bathroom and locked himself within the nearest stall before sitting on the toilet. He then opened a window on his omni-tool and began typing out a message addressed to Admiral Hackett.


    Dear Admiral Hackett,


    Circumstances have changed. Just over ninety minutes ago, the SSV Normandy docked at the London spaceport, and it turns out my crew survived their ordeal unharmed. So as inconvenient as this might be, I will be resigning as prefect of camps one through six effective immediately. The supervisor of camp two is a hard-working and very competent individual, so he will make a more than worthy replacement.


    I hope you understand.


    Best Regards,


    Ret. Admiral John Shepard.


    He pressed send, then left the bathroom and went back into the mess hall. There, he took his seat beside Tali. And for the next half hour or so, he listened to more of his crew''s experiences on that alien world, about their numerous hunting expeditions, about how the Normandy''s plumbing had failed, and everyone had to wash with buckets of water collected from the river and the nearest streams.


    Eventually, Ashley yawned. Yes, now was the time to wrap this up.


    "Well anyways," he said, standing up, "it''s getting late. After everything you''ve been through, I''m sure all of you are just dying for a hot meal and a comfy bed."


    Ashley laughed. "Damn right, skipper."


    "There will be plenty of time to catch up more in the morning." His gaze met Tali''s, and he didn''t need to say anything. Without hesitation, she followed him towards the elevator and he wrapped one arm around her waist. As they waited for the elevator to arrive, he pulled her close to him, and she began to make heelrou.


    He smiled. "I know you''re excited. But already, Miss Vas Normandy?"


    She giggled. "Oh, shut up, you bosh''tet."


    The elevator arrived, and they stepped within. On the brief way up to deck one, she nuzzled into him, and a warm, euphoric sensation filled his chest. Adrenaline rushed through his veins in sheer anticipation for the moments to come.


    When the elevator arrived on deck one, they stepped outside. The decontamination unit initialized, and seemed to take forever to rid them of foreign contaminants. But eventually, it ended. Then he and his saera entered their cabin.


    "Aaah," he said, taking off his coat. At the same time, a hiss filled the air, as she took off her mask, "home sweet home."


    He glanced at his fish tank, and just like Garrus had said, it was empty. The crew had eaten every fish within when levo food stores had run out.


    He stepped down the small staircase, towards the foot of his bed. "Everything looks just like how I left it." He sat on the bed and took off his socks and shoes, only to hear a weak sob.


    His attention snapped to Tali, and tears were streaming down her cheeks.


    "Tali?" he asked softly. Why was she crying? Did it have to do with the pain she had suffered during their separation? "Tali, are you okay?"


    She looked at him and smiled. "Oh, I¡­I''m sorry, John. I''m fine. It''s just¡­"


    He stood up and approached her. Looking deeply into her eyes, he held her close with one hand and stroked her cheek with the other, wiping away her tears. "It''s just what?"


    She let out a joyful sob and leaned into his touch. "All of this, everything that''s happened in the past few hours, it still feels so¡­so surreal. Just days ago, I was convinced we''d never share this cabin again, that I''d have to live on as only half a person. And yet here we are, with the worst finally behind us. Even now, I can''t help but wonder if I''d died and finally found you amongst the ancestors."


    He kissed her, then rested his forehead against hers. Their noses touched. "I know how you feel. For over two months, I waited¡­and waited for any sign that you were still out there, for any sign that you were still alive. Just hours ago, I was convinced I''d never see you again, that your photo and the memories we made would be all I''d have left of you." He kissed her again, then started caressing the small of her back. "I was fully prepared to live the rest of my life alone. And yet here we are, with nothing standing between us." He let out a weak laugh, and his eyes watered. "So yes¡­maybe we really did die. Maybe we really did find each other amongst the ancestors."


    She burst into a fit of joyful sobs. His gaze met hers. His pulse climbed in the ensuing silence.


    Then she grabbed his head and mashed her lips against his, kissing him hungrily and passionately. He wrapped his arms around her, then pulled her into him, closing his eye, humming with bliss. Then soon, she pushed him onto the bed and straddled his waist. Deepening the kiss, she slipped her tongue into his mouth. He did the same, and their tongues brushed and swirled against each other, as he ran one hand up her back, and the other down onto her buttocks.


    Every second, his heart pounded faster, flooding him with adrenaline. Every second, his breathing grew faster, and blood rushed to his manhood, giving him a painfully hard erection.


    Soon, her heelrou filled the air, and a warm, heavenly sensation coursed through him, relaxing his every muscle.


    Oh, how he had missed this.


    It had been far too long.


    Soon, they grew breathless and she broke the kiss, her cheeks flush as she panted.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    "Undress," she whispered in his ear before dismounting him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she removed her helmet, her gloves, her boots, and then her neck collar. Meanwhile, he removed his shirt and his pants. Then once more, they were facing each other, their knees on the bed.


    She ran one hand across his recently-acquired scars. "Keelah¡­" She looked at him with such love, such concern, "what¡­what happened to you?"


    Holding her close with one hand, he cupped her neck with the other, then pressed his lips to hers in a long, slow kiss. When their lips parted with a faint smack, he looked deeply into her eyes, his nose touching her own. "It''s nothing. Just the small price I had to pay to come back to you."


    She smiled and let out a weak laugh. Then once more, they were exchanging kisses. Meanwhile, he ran his hands along her curves, along her thin waist, her wide hips, and her luscious breasts, teasing her, removing the belts, buckles, and cloths around her suit. Sweating, he removed her astronaut hood and planted kisses all over her neck, her cheeks, and then her lips.


    During one kiss, she let out a hungry growl, then pushed him back onto the bed. She stared at him, her eyes brimming with lust. "No more teasing. Just lie there and watch while I unsuit for you." She bit her lip. "And then you''ll be mine."


    His eyes went wide. His mouth fell open, and he couldn''t help but feel taken aback. He grinned. Ooh, so assertive! "As you command, Miss Vas Normandy."


    He did as she asked and removed his boxers. Meanwhile, she got off the bed, then completely captured his attention when she began to unsuit.


    Unlike him, she had always been an incredible dancer, able to move her body with inhuman grace and fluidity. As she stripped for him, she swayed her hips and touched herself in ways that drove him wild. He couldn''t look away. The longer he watched her, the faster his heart raced, the more he sweated, and the harder it got to breathe. Ceaselessly, he battled the urge to pounce on her, to ravage her like some dirty whore.


    But he restrained himself.


    She looked at him and smiled. "Like what you see?" she asked playfully. She giggled, and soon she was completely naked. Hardly able to breathe, he marveled at her wide, luscious hips; her lean, toned waist; her round, perky breasts; and her glowing, white eyes. Yes, she was perfect, an exotic, alien beauty that always left him awestruck.


    Just then, she climbed onto the bed and crawled over him, planting kisses on his neck, his cheeks, and then his lips, huffing through her nose and trilling with delight. The whole time, he held her close, and her soft, delicate skin felt heavenly against his. Soon, the warm wetness between her legs leaked onto his inner thighs, and his manhood throbbed and tingled. Soon, they were both sweating and panting, and¡­


    Fuck, he couldn''t take this much longer. If he didn''t¨C


    Just then, she leaned back, and their lips parted. Breathing heavily, she reached behind her with one hand and grabbed his manhood. Carefully, she lowered her wet slit onto it, and inch by inch, it slid inside. As it did so, her inner walls squeezed around its length, and the surrounding heat tingled its every nerve.


    "Oh, god¡­" He moaned, closing his eye, and throwing his head back into the mattress. He stared into her eyes. "Tali¡­"


    Biting her lip, she planted her hands on his chest, then began to roll her hips back and forth, or in circles, moving her waist like an exotic dancer. The whole time, they never broke eye contact, and she looked at him with all the love and lust her eyes could convey.


    Yes, he was in paradise right now.


    As she rode him, he ran his hands up her thighs, onto her waist, and then her breasts. They were intoxicatingly soft and plush. When he moved one hand up to her supple neck, she tilted her head and sucked on his thumb.


    The sight sent him into a lust-fueled haze.


    He sat up, and she grabbed his head and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Holding her as close to him as possible, he huffed through his nose, whilst she hummed with bliss. Their tongues twirled. And every second, she rolled her hips faster and faster, becoming sexually feral. Soon, she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his, gasping, moaning louder and louder.


    Until she cradled the back of his head, and arched her back into him, letting out an ear-piercing moan of ecstasy.


    Panting, she went limp in his arms. Lying back down on the bed, he grabbed her hips, then thrusted away. Wet clops filled the room, and she kissed and licked his neck, her heelrou loud and intense.


    For a moment, he lost himself in the experience, enraptured in a feast of euphoria. With every thrust, the pressure in his groin mounted¡­and mounted¡­


    Until it exploded in an earth-shattering orgasm.


    Amidst it, he wrapped his arms around his saera and held her tight, his manhood spasming as he moaned in ecstasy. Breathing heavily, he lay back down on the bed, limp and drained. His beloved did the same, lying atop him, and for a while, they didn''t move.


    Wrapping one arm around her, he savored the feel of her skin against his, of their hearts beating in sync. Closing his eye, he listened to her heelrou, and his every muscle relaxed.


    But eventually, she shivered.


    He opened his eye. "Cold?"


    She nodded, and he melted at the way she looked at him. Smiling, he covered them both with the blanket, then shut off the lights with the small control panel on the nightstand. She cuddled into him, and he wrapped one arm around her waist and held her tight.


    He let out a deep, contented sigh.


    Yes, the pain he suffered on the Citadel had been worth it. Without a doubt, he would have crawled through the rubble a hundred times, a thousand times, if he knew this moment was to come.


    Rannoch, here we come¡­


    <hr>


    Tali''Zorah lay atop her saera in the darkness of their cabin, under the sheets of its soft, plushy bed. All night long, they had alternated between making love, lightly napping, and talking about their future, making up for as much lost time as possible. But now, he was sound asleep. Now, she basked in his body heat and listened to his heartbeat, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath.


    Earlier, they had agreed to adopt their first orphan, a quarian boy, at least five years after settling into their new lives on Rannoch, and their second orphan, a quarian girl, at least three years after that. Undoubtedly, she''d name her son Zhoru, just like the boy in her dreams. But what about her daughter? Perhaps she''d name her Aelina, after the great founder of Clan Zorah itself.


    John stirred. "What was I supposed to do?"


    Again, he was talking in his sleep. Keelah, what was he dreaming about? Was it a nightmare?


    "I didn''t have a choice¡­It was you or us¡­"


    You or us? Was he referring to EDI and the Geth, just like Kasumi had said?


    "No¡­No, you can''t do that¡­Stop!"


    He gasped and sat up explosively. Panting, he looked all around him, as if he had just woken up to an ambush.


    Ancestors, what kind of nightmare had he just woken up to? What was robbing him of the peace he deserved, haunting his every waking moment? His experience on the Crucible?


    Whatever it was, she would not allow it to consume him.


    She sat up and put her hand on his arm. "John? John, please, calm down."


    As soon as she said that, he looked at her.


    "It was just a dream, John," she said. "Please, come back to bed."


    He gulped, then did as she asked. Again, they were lying on the bed, under its sheets. He spooned her, and she nuzzled into him.


    "John?" she asked, breaking the silence.


    "Yes?"


    Was now a good time to ask? "What were you dreaming about?"


    He paused. She turned and faced him. And his eyes were full of shame.


    "Nothing serious," he said eventually. He took a deep breath, "just about¡­some of the decisions I''ve had to make recently, that and their consequences."


    Like what happened to EDI and the Geth? "Like what?"


    Again, he went silent, unable to meet her gaze. He pursed his lips, then exhaled. And her heart broke at the pain and guilt in his eyes. Already, her eyes were growing wet with tears.


    "You were¡­talking in your sleep," she said, "saying that you didn''t have a choice, that it was either ''you or us''." His body stiffened up. His lip quivered, and his eyes were wet with tears. Oh, ancestors help him. She put one hand on his cheek. "Saera?"


    His body relaxed, and he met her gaze.


    She moved closer to him until their noses were touching. "Whatever happened on the Crucible, whatever decisions you had to make, I¡­I can''t imagine how difficult they must have been for you. Keelah, I can see the pain in your eyes. I know how hard you''re fighting to keep it buried, to keep it locked away forever. But never forget that you don''t have to suffer it alone." She kissed him, then started stroking his cheek.


    He gulped. "I was going to tell you. It''s just¡­"


    "That the pain is still too raw? That you still can''t put it into words?"


    "Yes, I¡­"


    "It''s okay," she said, "I understand. Just remember, whenever you''re ready to talk about it¡­" She kissed him again, "I''ll be there for you."


    He smiled and let out a weak laugh. "I promise I will." Once more, he met her gaze. "Tell me, though¡­were you still awake when I started talking in my sleep? Have you gotten any rest at all?"


    Ancestors, he always downplayed his problems and focused on listening to her own. He was always so selfless, more quarian than over half the people she knew.


    "I¡­I don''t want to sleep."


    He kissed her, then began stroking her cheek. "Why?"


    She melted at the way he was looking at her. She took a deep breath. "On that fre''eg ball of a planet, there were so many nights where I dreamt about you, about the life we always wanted. They always started off so happy, but every time, they''d end the same way, with you and our son running towards the beam, with Harbinger burning you to ash. Every time, I''d wake up screaming and¡­"


    "And I wouldn''t be there?"


    Keelah, he understood her so well. She let out a joyful sob, and tears streamed down her cheeks. "Yes, you¡­you wouldn''t be there. I''d always wake up in the darkness of this cabin, feeling so cold and so lonely, reminded that you were gone, that I''d never feel complete ever again." She burst into tears, and John embraced her, letting her cry into his shoulder. "Keelah, it was horrible. So horrible, John. Every day, I wanted to die. I wanted to die and join you amongst the ancestors."


    When she stopped crying, John cupped the back of her neck, then pressed his forehead to hers. "Tali. The pain you went through¡­I''m sorry."


    "You have nothing to be sorry for," she said with as much conviction as possible. "None of it was your fault. If I hadn''t¨C"


    He put one finger on her lips. "Sssh. Don''t finish that sentence." He kissed her, then started caressing her cheek. "It wasn''t your fault either. What matters now is that we''re alive, together again, with nothing standing between us." Once more, he kissed her. "This is real, saera." He kissed her once. "I''m real." Twice. "I''m yours." Then he pulled her in for a long, slow one on the lips. She leaned into it, humming, letting her tongue play with his. Soon, their lips separated with a faint smack. "And you can be damned sure I''ll be right beside you every time you wake up."


    She burst into a fit of happy sobs. "Keelah, this¡­this is paradise. I don''t think I''ll ever be happier."


    He laughed. "Is that so?"


    "Yes," she said, letting her body relax, "you are the greatest, most wonderful thing to have ever come into my life. As long as I have you, I don''t need anyone or anything else."


    "Not even Rannoch?"


    "Not even Rannoch," she said, tracing her fingers along his broad, but scarred chest. "Without you, a house there would have felt meaningless and empty anyway."


    He let out a weak laugh, and a single tear streamed down his cheek. "Come here."


    They made love once again. The whole time, a soothing euphoric sensation coursed through her limbs, and she felt as though she were lying atop the softest cloud. In the afterglow, she lay her head on his chest, singing her heelrou.


    And for the first time in months, she drifted off to sleep without a worry in the galaxy.


    Yes, the nightmares would haunt her no longer.

 Chapter 11

    Shepard awoke in the darkness of his cabin, with the blue glow of his empty fish tank as the only light source. Tali was lying right beside him, with her head on his chest, letting out an adorable, trilling hum with every rise and fall of her chest. He smiled.


    I could get used to this.


    Yes, he wanted to wake up like this every day. Now, he wouldn''t dare move until she awoke and found him next to her, just like he''d promised.


    So how could he pass the time?


    He opened up a window on his omni-tool and checked the time. Apparently, it was half-past eleven in the morning. Next, he opened up his inbox and found Admiral Hackett''s reply to the message he had sent him yesterday.


    Dear Admiral Shepard,


    I understand. The supervisor of camp two will make a more than worthy replacement. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do with your retirement.


    Sincerely,


    Admiral Steven Hackett.


    He let out a contented sigh. Yes, now, he was a civilian. He no longer had any obligations to humanity and was free to spend his retirement however he wished. So today, he''d better meet up with Shala and settle whatever issue she wanted to discuss in private.


    On his omni-tool, he began to type out a message addressed to her.


    Dear Admiral Raan,


    The last time we saw each other, you said you wanted to speak with me in private. So today, when are you soonest available?


    Seconds later, a message appeared in his inbox. It was from Shala.


    Dear Admiral Shepard,


    An hour from now, a shuttle will be waiting for you at landing pad A-23, ready to take you aboard the MFV Kelek''Miin. Please do not keep the pilot waiting.


    Keelah Se''lai.


    He closed his omni-tool, then took a deep breath. Again, he looked at Tali, and her cute, little nose twitched before she nuzzled into him further, gripping his ankle with one of her feet.


    "You are the greatest, most wonderful thing to have ever come into my life. As long as I have you, I don''t need anyone or anything else."


    "Not even Rannoch?"


    "Not even Rannoch¡­"


    He smiled. Still, he was reeling from that exchange, from how it blew him away and filled his heart with indescribable peace and joy. He had no doubt that she meant every single word, that she loved him unconditionally, more than anyone or anything in the galaxy.


    So damn it, why couldn''t he just confess?


    What was holding him back?


    Suddenly, she stirred. She opened her big, beautiful eyes, and yawned before meeting his gaze. She smiled, and a warm, euphoric sensation bloomed in his chest. God, she''s beautiful.


    "Good morning, beautiful," he said. "Sleep well?"


    She giggled. "Oh, more than well," she kissed him, "that was the best sleep I''ve had in months."


    He smiled, then began stroking her cheek. "I''m glad. After everything you''ve been through, you deserve nothing less." He let out another contented sigh. God, he could lay like this forever. He didn''t want to get out of bed. "So¡­about Shala. Why do you think she wants to speak with me in private."


    Tali sighed. "She wants to test you, to gauge exactly how you feel about me. Still, she doubts that our bond is real, that you love me just as much as any quarian male caught in Silz''asul felz."


    He gulped. Yes, he could see where Shala was coming from. Caught in Silz''asul felz, the eternal dance of souls, quarians were easy to take advantage of. Theoretically, any alien could abuse their quarian partner as much as they liked, and that quarian would do nothing about it, except blame themself.


    He pursed his lips. "Do you think she, or others, might try to separate us?"


    "No," she said, "my auntie is no fool. She knows I would never forgive her if she ever tried to do something like that. And I have no doubt that you''ll convince her our bond is real. But whatever happens after that¡­never forget that my home is ¨C and always will be ¨C with you."


    He kissed her soft lips, then smiled. She had so much faith in him. No matter what, he would not let her down. "And mine will always be with you."


    Briefly, he checked the time on his omni-tool. The shuttle would arrive in about forty-five minutes. "Just minutes ago, she sent me a message, saying a shuttle would arrive soon to take me to her flagship." He sighed. "So I guess I''d better get ready."


    He sat up and was about to get out of bed. But just as his feet touched the floor, Tali wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder. "No, please," she said. "Just lie with me a little while longer."


    He laughed. "As much as I''d love to, you know I can''t keep your auntie waiting. It''s unprofessional."


    "To Shlak with being professional." She kissed his shoulder. "My auntie can wait."


    "Tali, I¨C"


    "Oh, come on, John."


    She kissed his neck. "You''re so warm." She kissed his neck again. "You smell so good, and we''ll have to wait so long before can do this again."


    She sang her heelrou, whilst kissing and licking his neck, her breasts flush against his back. And already, blood was rushing to his manhood.


    Indeed, Tali did have a point. For the next week or so, the Normandy would be swarming with repair teams. With resources so scarce and stretched so thin, they might have to wait weeks before they could make love again in another clean room.


    Oh, what the hell. He faced her, and they began exchanging kisses, their lips smacking, their tongues playing. Closing his eye and humming with bliss, he cupped her neck, then gently pushed her back onto the bed.


    Yeah, Shala could wait.


    <hr>


    Admiral Shala''Raan sat in her office on the MFV Kelek''Miin, listening to Kel''Shaiso''s third symphony, whilst reading Zaal''s latest report on the rebuilding efforts on Rannoch. Apparently, things were going smoothly, despite the Geth''s sudden and unexpected demise. In just over a year, the fleet''s entire civilian population should be settled into the old planetary capital, Catyn, which the Geth had maintained for centuries as a memorial. She sighed. They never hated us. Yes, their help in the rebuilding process would have been invaluable, and they could have provided her people protection when still they were so weak and vulnerable.


    Weak and vulnerable...


    She clenched her fists. By the ancestors, that would not remain so!


    One day, the quarian people would regain the glory and grandeur of the old Veil Republic.


    Her omni-tool beeped, receiving an incoming comm-request from the adjutant she''d sent to bring Admiral Shepard onto her flagship. She answered it.


    "Has he arrived?" she asked. For some reason, he was late, even though she''d asked him not to keep the shuttle pilot waiting. Keelah, he''d better have a good explanation.


    "He has, Admiral," her adjutant said, "he''ll arrive in your office shortly."


    "Why is he late?"


    "I''m not sure. He only said that Tali''Zorah kept him¡­occupied for longer than expected. But I have my suspicions."


    "What suspicions?"


    "There were bite marks on his neck."


    "What are you insinuating?"


    Her adjutant sighed. "Are the rumors true? Tali''Zorah, has she bonded to her human Captain? Do they walk in life as one?"


    "That remains to be seen," she said. Ancestors, was this Tali''s childish way of defying her, of proving that quarians could join with humans and adapt to them safely? How else could Shepard have gotten bite marks on his neck? "For now, keep your suspicions to yourself and speak nothing of this. Is that understood?"


    "Understood, Admiral."


    "Good." She ended the call, then slumped into her chair.


    In preparation for this meeting, she''d done as much research as she could on humans with the recently restored planetary intranet, trying to discern whether it was truly possible for a human and a quarian to walk in life together as one.


    Admittedly, she could see why Tali would have been curious about such a notion, at least when it came to physical intimacy. Like quarians, humans evolved from tree-climbing mammals. Indeed, the praimaets of Earth had much in common with the khalaero of Rannoch. So unsurprisingly, humans were not so alien anatomically. Their genitalia were compatible with those of quarians, and many humans were far from ugly or repulsive. Indeed, during Tali''s trial, she''d caught more than a few unbonded fleet sisters ¨C and even Admiral Xen ¨C staring at Shepard, as though he was some exotic, forbidden delight.


    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    She sighed. If Shepard and Tali had truly linked suits, and completed the week of seclusion, then clearly humans and quarians faced no insurmountable barriers to physical intimacy.


    But what about emotional intimacy, the pathways to the mind, the heart, and then the soul?


    Undoubtedly, Tali was bonded to him, caught in Silz''asul felz. No sane quarian would have risked illness for just a kiss, unless that kiss was for their lifemate. Indeed, if she had been in Tali''s situation, torn away from her beloved Garu for so long, she would have reacted the same way. As soon as possible, she would have dragged him to the nearest clean room, and joined with him, until they were both sweating and panting in each other''s arms.


    Indeed, the true enigma here was Shepard. Ancestors, how exactly did he feel about Tali?


    From his actions alone, he clearly loved her deeply and powerfully. But would his feelings change? If forced to choose between her and his duty to humanity, would he choose the latter?


    She had no idea.


    Humans were so unpredictable, with utterly alien courtship and bonding practices. Yes, although most humans seemed to be monogamous like quarians, they rarely stayed with one mate for life. Often, human couples unbonded and separated in a terrible ritual called deevorse. And often, they struck or betrayed each other for reasons she couldn''t comprehend.


    Keelah. One day, would Admiral Shepard strike and betray Tali before demanding the deevorse ritual? Or would he behave differently, like those humans who stayed with one mate for life?


    She let out a frustrated sigh. Ancestors, the more she tried to understand human bonding, the less it made sense. Tali, you naive, foolish child. What have you gotten yourself into?


    Hopefully, Shepard would clarify things.


    A few minutes later, Shepard stepped into her office, flanked by two armed escorts. Even in his current condition, he carried himself with such confidence and authority, as though his injuries were only a slight inconvenience. She gestured for the escorts to leave, and they nodded and complied.


    Once they left, she cleared her throat. "Admiral Shepard. How good of you to arrive."


    "The pleasure is mine, Shala," Shepard said, taking a seat, "Sorry for being so late. Tali, she kept me¨C"


    "Occupied for longer than expected?" She tilted her head. "Hhhm, I wonder what you were doing, especially given the bite marks on your neck."


    His eyes widened and he blushed before looking away. He gulped, then cleared his throat before meeting her gaze once more. "Tell me¡­uhm¡­this music. What is it? I''ve never heard anything quite like it"


    She laughed. Unlike most aliens, humans were easy to read. Their body language cues were not so different than those of quarians. "Oh, no need to be embarrassed, Shepard. It is only natural that Tali would smother you with affection, after all that she''d suffered. But to answer your question, this music is a timeless piece over three thousand years old, composed just shortly after my people developed radio-wave communications. It is among the few pieces of our art to have survived the Morning War."


    "Like the Zendaerias?"


    She smiled. Keelah, of course she would tell him about it. But does he understand what it means? "Ah, so I see Tali has told you about it."


    "She has," Shepard said. "I know it''s a timeless masterpiece among your people about the power of Silz''asul felz, about how it compelled Zhoru''Trosk to unite the southern clans and topple the Krael empire. Someday, I''d love to read it. But I''m sure you didn''t bring me here so we could discuss quarian art."


    She smiled. Impressive. Tali had educated him well. "Indeed, I haven''t." She took a deep breath. Ancestors, how to begin? "Shepard, allow me to preface this discussion by telling you that I ¨C and many others ¨C consider you to be the greatest friend of the quarian people. Time and time again, you''ve gone out of your way to help us. And we will never forget your role in reclaiming the homeworld, that if not for you, the quarian people would be extinct." She leaned forward and put her hands on her desk. "So I believe you''ve more than earned a chance to explain yourself."


    Shepard''s brow furrowed. He looked tense, as if preparing to defend himself. "To explain myself?"


    "Calm yourself," she said. "This is not a trial or an interrogation. I only wish to understand."


    "Understand what?"


    She cleared her throat. "Tell me, out of all the human and asari women you could have chosen as a mate, why pick one of our own, somebody who could never give you children, much less kiss you outside a clean room without becoming ill or succumbing to an allergic reaction?" She tilted her head. "Your actions baffle me. Keelah, what makes Tali special enough to be worth dying for, to be worth what you did for her on Haestrom, at the trial, and on Rannoch itself?"


    For a moment, Shepard remained silent, looking pensive, as though thinking about what he was going to say next. Soon, he took a deep breath, then met her gaze. "Admiral, I think it''s only natural that you''d be concerned about an alien trying to bond with one of your own. I wouldn''t blame you for thinking that it could never happen, that I could never love her as deeply and as powerfully as another quarian. But let me give you my perspective."


    He took a deep breath through his nose. "The answer to your question is simple, Shala." He leaned forward, giving her strong eye contact. "Tali means that much to me because she made life worth living again. Without her, I never would have relearned how to trust or love somebody. I never would have defeated Saren, the Collectors, or the Reapers because, honestly, the stress would have fucking broken me. Through it all, she was the one thing that kept me going ¨C and nobody could ever love me the way she does. Nobody! I''d rather die alone than be with somebody else!"


    She recoiled and her eyes went wide. Shepard had spoken those words with the same passion, the same ferocity with which he had defended Tali during her trial. Keelah, even now, it was a sight to behold.


    He took a deep breath. "Becoming her lifemate, Shala, has been the greatest experience of my life, one I wouldn''t trade for anything." He let out a weak laugh, and his eyes looked wet with tears. "Frankly, it''s all been so overwhelming."


    Shala tilted her head. "Overwhelming?"


    "Yes," he said, "overwhelming. No species loves more deeply, more powerfully, and more selflessly than quarians. And I have no doubt that many of my kind would find yours more desirable than asari if they knew that."


    Her eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open. Ancestors, did he truly just say that? "Us? More desirable than asari?"


    "Yes," he said, "because what''s normal for your kind ¨C the boundless, unconditional love between two lifemates ¨C is a naive fantasy to mine."


    "A naive fantasy?" she asked. "I don''t understand, Shepard. If that''s the case, then why do so many human bondmates strike and betray each other? Why do so many unbond and separate in the terrible ritual of deevorse? Keelah, is it normal amongst humans for your actions to contradict your desires?"


    Briefly, he looked away and sighed. "One thing you need to understand, Shala, is that just because two humans are married does not mean that they are bonded."


    Inwardly, she groaned. Oh ancestors, help me. Could this get any more confusing? "Then mayruyez, what are they for? What is the relationship between the huzbend and the wyfe?"


    "Human marriages," he said, "are nothing like quarian bondings. I hate to say this, but often, they have nothing to do with love. They''re really just contracts between human families meant to combine resources and to form new social connections."


    "So a huzbend and a wyfe, are they more like partners in business than actual bondmates?"


    "Sadly yes," Shepard said. "That''s often the case. A lot of husbands and wives are like business partners obligated to reproduce and raise children." Briefly, he looked away and let out a weak laugh. "Growing up, I was a very, very lucky boy to have parents that actually loved each other."


    She leaned back into her chair and put one hand on her mask. Keelah, no wonder so many human huzbends and wyfes struck and betrayed each other. More often than not, mayreed human couples shared no bond, and the deevorse ritual was an escape from the prison in which they had jailed themselves. But ancestors, why do humans trap themselves in such prisons in the first place? And why were couples like Shepard''s parents the exception and not the norm? "Shepard, I must apologize, but still I''m struggling to grasp such an¡­alien kind of relationship, why two people would ever put themselves in such a situation."


    Shepard sighed. "Ok. Think of it this way." He cleared his throat. "First, I assume you''re bonded, right?"


    "I am," she said. How is this relevant? "I''ve been with my beloved Garu for thirty-two years. He''s on this ship right now."


    Shepard nodded. "Now imagine if you were forced to abandon him. Imagine if you had to live the rest of your life with somebody you didn''t love, say Admiral Han''Gerrel, and give him children. All because your clans believed that your ''arrangement'' brought them political benefits more important than your personal desires."


    Her eyes went wide as she looked at the ground. Just the thought of that scenario sent a terrible chill through her insides. Yes, trapped in such a nightmare, with no hope of ever seeing her beloved Garu ever again, the agony of Felz''elt would consume her. The pain would be unbearable and she would kill herself.


    "That," he said, "is what the worst marriages are like, and sadly¡­many humans are trapped in ones not much better, with no escape."


    "Keelah¡­" For a moment, she looked at the ground. "How have most humans not died of loneliness? Why do they torture themselves by mayring somebody with whom they share no bond? And why do so few of them walk in life with somebody who truly completes them? It''s¡­tragic, Shepard. Tragic."


    "It is," Shepard said. "Many, many humans are desperately lonely and fantasize every day about having a soulmate." Briefly, he broke eye contact, then pursed his lips. "Unfortunately, many learn the hard way that real people are flawed and constantly change, that almost nobody is like the soulmate they always imagined." He sighed. "Often, they''ll have no choice but to settle for somebody¡­less than ideal, and they''ll only end up resenting that person for being so imperfect."


    "And Tali," she said, "is she like this ''unattainable saera'' you''ve always imagined?"


    "Yes," Shepard said. "I will never meet anyone better."


    Keelah. Now, everything made sense. Humans, in their relentless drive to seek perfection in all things, only made themselves miserable.


    But what about her shortcomings? Did he tolerate or accept them? "You don''t mind that she can''t give you children? That you can''t kiss or join with her outside a cleanroom?"


    "Don''t make the mistake of thinking that I''m just tolerating her flaws and alien differences," Shepard said. "No. I love and accept them just like she loves and accepts mine."


    Shala smiled. Good. Shepard''s answer to her next question would tell her everything else she needed to know. "Now, for my next question, I need you to be completely honest with me."


    Shepard nodded. "Very well."


    She took a deep breath. "Hypothetically, suppose that our species became mortal enemies, and that you''ve been forced into a situation in which you had to choose between either Tali or your duty to humanity." She tilted her head. "What is your decision?"


    "I would choose Tali."


    Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. He didn''t even hesitate! "You¡­you would betray your own species?"


    "Tali would do the same for me, Shala," Shepard said. "You know that."


    "True," she conceded, looking at the ground. Caught in Silz''asul felz, it was normal for quarians to make such extreme decisions. "But what if choosing Tali only led to your death? To humans everywhere condemning you as a traitor?"


    "I would still choose Tali."


    "Why?"


    "Because at least then I''d die with no regrets."


    "So it seems Kal''s praise for you was not unfounded." Smiling, she leaned forward and entwined her fingers on the desk. He truly is like Zhoru''Trosk reborn as a human. "Yes, in your own human way, I believe you''ve bonded to her, that you''re caught in something akin to Silz''asul felz." She sighed. "Tell me, though¡­what are your future plans?"


    "Now that I''m retired," Shepard said, "and no longer have any responsibilities to humanity or the Alliance, all I want is to live the rest of my life with my beloved on Rannoch, helping your people rediscover and rebuild everything you''ve lost. That is¡­if you''ll allow me."


    She sat back in her chair. "We''d be more than happy to have you, Shepard. Until we return to Rannoch, however, I''d better contact Admiral Korris, and tell him to secure you a plot of land for a house. After that, I''d still have to find you a jeweler willing to make you a pal''tec vis surden."


    Shepard tilted his head."I''m sorry, a pal''tec vis surden?"


    "Ah," she said, "it seems Tali told you nothing about it. Yes, in all likelihood, she believed we''d never accept your bond as genuine, and saw no use in ever mentioning it."


    "What is it?"


    "In your human Inglish," she said, "it roughly translates as ''symbol of bonding''. It''s not too different than one of the ceremonial rings humans exchange during mayruyez."


    Shepard''s eyes widened in realization. "Oh, I see."


    "Anyways," she said, "both the jeweler and Admiral Korris should contact you soon. After you provide them with any specifications you desire, both your new home and your pal''tec vis surden should be ready by the time we return to Rannoch. There, I''ll conduct you and Tali''s bonding ceremony."


    "That''s excellent, Shala," he said. Smiling, he stood up. "So I suppose everything has been settled then."


    "It has," she said, standing up. She extended her hand for a handshake, the traditional human greeting. And Shepard accepted it. "Take care, Shepard. May the ancestors be with you."


    He nodded. "And to you as well."


    With that, Shepard left her office. In the ensuing silence, she sat back in her chair and sighed. Keelah, when news broke out that Tali''Zorah, the Reclaimer herself, had entered Silz''asul felz with John Shepard, the great savior of the galaxy, how would the quarian people react? And what would this historic bond mean for the future of human-quarian relations?


    Only time would tell.


    But whatever happened, one thing was certain.


    She ¨C and all of Clan Raan ¨C would support them wholeheartedly.

 Chapter 12

    Tali¡¯Zorah walked alongside John and Garrus, through the avenues of camp three, towards a large tent with a holo-sign, reading Camp Bar and Cafe . According to John, the local authorities and administration had managed to reestablish something resembling a functioning economy, now that the major relays connecting Earth to Palaven, Thessia, and Sur¡¯Kesh were back online. Only Tuchanka and Rannoch remained physically isolated.


    Keelah, she couldn¡¯t wait for the Shadow Sea and Far Rim relays to come back online, about a month from now. By then, she¡¯d finally get to start her new life with John, and put the Reaper War behind her.


    Yes, ever since John¡¯s talk with auntie Raan a week ago, and his talk with Admiral Korris just yesterday, the future seemed so bright that she could hardly contain herself. Already, Zaal had secured her and John a plot of land. This morning, she¡¯d sent Zaal the specifications she and John had agreed upon. And now, their new home was under construction. When they finally arrived at Rannoch, it would be ready, and their new life would begin.


    But John¡­


    Lately, he didn¡¯t seem very excited about it. More and more, he¡¯d been talking in his sleep, and three times he¡¯d woken up screaming. Ancestors, he was in so much pain ¨C and still, he was trying to fight it. Still, he was pretending his problems didn¡¯t exist. And still, he was refusing to talk about them, slowly pushing her away.


    Inwardly, she sighed. She¡¯d been so patient with him. But enough was enough. Soon, she would get him to talk, to relieve the burdens squeezing the life out of his soul.


    After everything he¡¯d been through, he deserved to be happy, and she would die before ever allowing him to lose his mind.


    Finally, they entered the tent. At this time, it was nearly empty, except for a few humans and turians. But within seconds, John looked at a bald, scarred human man sitting at the bar counter, watching the news on the nearby holo-TV. Apparently, that man was a high-ranking officer, with many political connections. And John had made good friends with him.


    But how?


    ¡°Over here!¡± The man said before approaching them.


    ¡°Ah,¡± the man said, ¡°so you must be the special lady.¡± He extended his hand for a handshake, and she accepted it. ¡°Tali¡¯Zorah, correct?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°and you are?¡±


    ¡°Colonel Conor Hayes,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s great to meet you.¡± He looked at John. ¡°I¡¯m glad she¡¯s made it back to you. After everything that¡¯s happened¡­you deserve at least some good news.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± John said, ¡°I appreciate the kind words.¡±


    John spoke those words with no emotion.


    Why don¡¯t you believe him, John? Why are you punishing yourself?


    John cleared his throat. ¡°Anyways. Hayes, meet Garrus Vakarian, also known as Archangel.¡±


    Hayes¡¯ eyes widened. His mouth fell open and he shook Garrus¡¯ hand. ¡°God, what a small galaxy we live in. The man who saved my wife ¨C a member of Commander Shepard¡¯s crew.¡± He laughed. ¡°Why am I not surprised?¡±


    ¡°The feelings mutual,¡± Garrus said. ¡°Tell me, how¡¯d you two fare after your little escape from Omega?¡±


    ¡°She needed years of therapy to recover,¡± he said. Briefly, he looked at the ground. ¡°She still has nightmares about it. But thankfully, Asari psychologists are the best in the damn galaxy. It¡¯s all behind her now.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Garrus said. ¡°I¡¯ll sleep better at night knowing that what I did to those animals was all worth it.¡±


    ¡°Sounds like a story worth telling,¡± John said. ¡°But first, shall we order some drinks?¡±


    ¡°Of course, friend,¡± Hayes said.


    She sat next to John at the bar counter. With a hand gesture, Hayes called over the bartender, a thin, middle-aged human woman in ragged clothing.


    ¡°Well, well, well,¡± the bartender said, approaching them, ¡°what a surprise. The great Commander Shepard and two of his crew, having a drink at my bar, and near closing hours. Who would have thought.¡± She let out a weak laugh. ¡°Anyways, what can I get all of you?¡±


    ¡°Just a pint of whatever beer you have,¡± Hayes said.


    ¡°Some turian brandy,¡± Garrus said, ¡°if you have any.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯ll have whatever kicks the hardest,¡± John said.


    Her blood went cold. Her eyes went wide, and she let out a faint gasp. Whatever kicks the hardest? Keelah, was he trying to get drunk? If so, then whatever was eating at him must be far worse than anything she could imagine. Yes, throughout the Reaper War, he had never resorted to alcohol to bury his pain, not even after the fall of Thessia.


    ¡°John,¡± she said, ¡°are you sure that¡¯s a good idea? It¡¯s late.¡±


    He held her hand. ¡°I know you¡¯re worried. But I¡¯ll be fine. My cybernetics won¡¯t let me get drunk anyway, remember?¡±


    She let out a frustrated sigh. This can¡¯t go on. Yes, as soon as they got back to their room in hab-block E-45, she would get him to talk. ¡°Very well.¡±


    ¡°And what about you, young lady?¡±


    She looked at the bartender. ¡°Just some water please, triple-filtered and sterilized, with a strah .¡±


    ¡°Coming right up.¡± The bartender left and went to prepare their orders.


    ¡°So tell me,¡± Hayes said, looking at her and Garrus, ¡°where were you two for so long? Where was the Normandy ?¡±


    ¡°We were stranded,¡± Garrus said. ¡°The Crucible blast knocked us out of the relay lane between this system and the Shadow Sea, to some¡­uncharted world.¡±


    ¡°We were stuck there for over three months,¡± she said, ¡°with barely any food and water, and no functioning plumbing.¡± But what was John doing?


    ¡°Sounds rough,¡± Hayes said.


    ¡°It was,¡± Tali said. She sighed. ¡°But let me ask you a question, Conor Hayes. What was John doing the whole time? What happened to him after the Crucible fired?¡±


    The bartender arrived with their drinks, and everyone took their order.


    Hayes took a sip of his. ¡°Now that¡¯s a story.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°While I was recovering in the field hospital they set up, the news station went crazy when they announced that paramedics had found Shepard alive¡­but in very, very bad condition.¡±


    Her eyes widened and she let out a faint gasp. She put one hand on her vocalizer. ¡°Keelah¡­how bad was it?¡±


    Hayes opened up his omni-tool and input a few commands.¡°They released this image to the public.¡±


    In the image, her lifemate was sitting on the ground, unconscious, leaning against an Avina terminal. Heat had scorched many sections of his armor black, melting and fusing others to his skin. Plastered with soot and ash, his face teemed with burns and lacerations. Oozing blood, his left eye was a gory, unrecognizable mess, and his left hand was a mangled ruin, a useless lump of pulverized flesh and bone.


    Stolen story; please report.


    She covered her vocalizer with both hands. ¡°Oh¡­Oh, ancestors help me¡­¡± A cold, crushing sensation racked her chest, and her eyes grew wet with tears. ¡°I can¡¯t look at it.¡±


    Keelah, just how badly had John suffered? How much pain had he endured as he clung to life? Oh, John, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry I wasn¡¯t there for you.


    Just then, John held her hand, under the table, and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. A warm, soothing sensation coursed through her limbs, and she returned the gesture. I¡¯ll never let you suffer like that ever again.


    ¡°How did you get there, Shepard?¡± Hayes asked.


    She looked at John, into his eyes, and found only pain. She tightened the grip on his hand.


    ¡°I¡­I don¡¯t remember much,¡± John said, looking at the ground, ¡°just fragments¡­fragments of when I crawled my way there.¡±


    She studied the photo more carefully for a moment and spotted something in John¡¯s right hand.


    No¡­


    It couldn¡¯t be.


    So that¡¯s where the photo has been! Ancestors, had John crawled his way to where paramedics could find him, enduring enough pain to drive most men to madness, just so he could come back to her?


    She smiled, then let out a weak laugh. Her chest swelled with a fuzzy warmth, and she wanted nothing more than to shower him with kisses, to join with him right here and now. Yes, as soon as they had their house, and were settled into their new life, she would make every second of that pain worth it, a hundred times over, in the bedroom.


    ¡°Anyways,¡± Hayes said. He closed his omni-tool. ¡°After they found him, everyone was holding their breath, wondering if he¡¯d survive. For a whole month, he was in a coma.¡±


    ¡°A whole month?¡± she almost shouted.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Hayes said, ¡°a month. His hospital bed was right next to mine. And when he woke up¡­¡± Briefly, he broke eye contact and smiled. ¡°It was a god damn miracle.¡± He laughed. ¡°First thing he did was scramble around, looking for that photo of your face.¡±


    She looked at John. Truthfully, she couldn¡¯t help but feel annoyed that so many people might have seen her face. But if the photo had made it easier for her lifemate to endure those months without her, then so be it.


    She looked at Hayes. ¡°So what happened after that, during his recovery?¡±


    Hayes laughed. ¡°After that, he started overworking to keep his mind off you.¡±


    John¡¯s eyes went wide, and he nearly spat out his drink.


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t give me that look,¡± Hayes said. ¡°I¡¯ve been in that situation, so many times.¡± Once more, Hayes looked at her. ¡°The man just couldn¡¯t take one second to rest. Every chance he had, he did what he could to help with rebuilding, with reestablishing order and stability throughout the camps. Hell, he was working so hard, actually, that he was practically taking over some people¡¯s jobs.¡± He laughed. ¡°Admiral Hackett even made him a prefect.¡±


    ¡°A what?¡± she asked.


    Momentarily, John squeezed her hand. ¡°I¡¯ve resigned.¡±


    ¡°Of course, you have,¡± Hayes said. ¡°Now that you have her back, I bet your future plans can¡¯t involve any responsibilities to humanity or the Alliance.¡± He finished off his drink. ¡°Am I right?¡±


    John nodded, then wrapped one arm around her waist. She leaned into his touch.


    ¡°Now that the quarians have their homeworld back,¡± John said, ¡°there¡¯s no way I¡¯m letting Mrs. Shepard enjoy her new home alone.¡±


    Inwardly, she swooned. She had no doubt he meant those words, but couldn¡¯t help but notice how he said them. Stop trying to distract me, John. Stop trying to hide your pain.


    Hayes chuckled. ¡°Planning on going native, are you?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Shepard said. He finished his drink. ¡°I guess I am.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said. ¡°Going native? What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°He means that Shepard plans to assimilate into your culture,¡± Garrus said before finishing his drink. ¡°Can¡¯t say I¡¯m surprised.¡±


    She looked into John¡¯s eyes, touching his arm with one hand. ¡°You¡­you would really¡­¡±


    ¡°Of course I would, beautiful,¡± John said. He finished his drink. ¡°Well¡­as much as a human can assimilate into your culture. I mean, at the very least, I¡¯ll definitely learn Khelish and start adopting some quarian customs, enough for your people to stop seeing me as an outsider. It¡¯ll be necessary if we¡¯re going to raise a family, and besides¡­the experience will help me with the book I want to write.¡±


    Hayes smiled. ¡°What, planning to write your memoirs and get rich off the royalties?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± John said, ¡°nothing like that. For once, I want to use my fame and influence for good and leave behind a legacy once I¡¯m gone, something to ensure that future generations will never forget the Reaper War, or what lead to it.¡±


    ¡°Spirits, Shepard,¡± Garrus said, ¡°that sounds ambitious. You¡¯re starting to remind me of Ataxharsis the Great.¡±


    She clenched her jaw and huffed through her nose. Oh, don¡¯t you dare compare John with that monster.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Hayes said. ¡°Who?¡±


    Garrus sighed. ¡°You humans weren¡¯t space faring yet, so you wouldn¡¯t know him. But to put it simply¡­¡± Garrus leaned forward, putting his hands on the table. ¡°He was the first and greatest primarch of the Turian Hierarchy, the man who broke the Krogan Empire. After the rebellions, his reforms and writings laid the foundations for everything the Hierarchy would become.¡±


    ¡°So he¡¯s what, one of turian history¡¯s immortals?¡± Hayes asked.


    ¡°Not just of turian history,¡± Garrus said, ¡°but of galactic history. Even the asari and salarians revere him.¡±


    John called the bartender over with a hand gesture. ¡°Hey. Another, please.¡± The bartender nodded.


    She frowned and huffed through her nose. When we get our house, I swear you will not become a drunkard.


    John looked at Garrus.¡°But what about the other races?¡±


    ¡°Just mentioning his name on Tuchanka will get you killed,¡± Garrus said, ¡°but the quarians¡­I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Suddenly, everyone around the table looked at her, as if expecting her to say something.


    ¡°We also hate him,¡± she said.


    ¡°Why?¡± Garrus asked.


    ¡°Because that racist bosh¡¯tet robbed my people of ever getting a seat on the Council,¡± she said, ¡°along with any opportunities for us to colonize new worlds. He made us retreat inward¡­and eventually create the Geth.¡±


    On the Flotilla, everyone learned the history of how the Veil Republic became disillusioned with their former allies, of how the quarian people became decadent and created the Geth.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Garrus said, breaking eye contact with her. ¡°Well, anyways, what I¡¯m trying to say is that you¡¯re pretty much humanity¡¯s Ataxharsis, that you will join galactic history¡¯s immortals.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s some high praise, Garrus,¡± John said, as his refill arrived. He took a sip of it. ¡°I¡¯m flattered that you think of me so highly.¡±


    Again, John spoke those words with a monotone, lifeless voice. Why are you rejecting his praise, John? You deserve it.


    ¡°Garrus is right, you know,¡± Hayes said. He leaned forward, putting his hands on the table. ¡°Like it or not, I think you will become one of history¡¯s immortals, especially if you write that book.¡±


    Her pulse climbed. Keelah, burdened with so much fame and influence, would John ever get to live out the rest of his life in peace?


    ¡°Even now,¡± Hayes continued, ¡°my family still has quite a lot of connections. So whenever you finish any drafts, send them to me. Your cause is definitely something I¡¯ll get behind and do everything possible to promote.¡±


    John¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°You would do that for me?¡±


    ¡°Oh, please,¡± Hayes said, ¡°after everything you¡¯ve done for me, it¡¯s the least I can do.¡±


    Hayes¡¯ omni-tool beeped as it received an incoming call. Hayes answered it. ¡°Hello?¡±


    Hayes laughed. ¡°Oh, really now? Well, I guess I¡¯ll be right over.¡±


    Hayes ended the call, then stood up from his chair. ¡°Anyways, it¡¯s been great, you guys. But I have to go, my wife and I have some¡­ ¡®family matters¡¯ to take care of.¡±


    John and Garrus stood up, and she did the same. John shook Hayes¡¯ hand.


    ¡°We¡¯ll stay in touch,¡± Hayes said. He looked at Garrus. ¡°Especially you.¡±


    Garrus nodded, then also shook Hayes hand. ¡°I guess we will.¡±


    With that, Hayes paid for the drinks, then left the bar.


    ¡°As much as I¡¯d love to stay and talk with you two,¡± Garrus said, ¡°I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t. Victus, I¡­I have to prepare for a meeting with him. Soon, he¡¯ll want me on Palaven and¡­¡±


    John put one hand on Garrus¡¯ shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s okay. We¡¯ll stay in touch.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Garrus said. ¡°We will. And don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m sure I can talk my way into staying a few more days here. Good luck.¡±


    John nodded, as Garrus left the bar. John yawned, then looked at her. ¡°It¡¯s getting pretty late.¡± He held her hand. ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s head back to our room. I¡¯m sure we both could use some sleep.¡±


    Arm in arm, they left the bar, and out into the cold, empty streets of camp three, heading back to hab-block E-45. On the way, they rounded a corner.


    Then abruptly, John stopped in his tracks and stared at a garbage hauler parked on the side of the avenue.


    ¡°John?¡± she asked. ¡°John, what¡¯s happening?¡±


    She looked at the garbage hauler, and keelah¡­it was full of lifeless, blackened geth platforms, half buried in rubble and debris. Has this been what¡¯s torturing you? Ancestors, she knew he was somehow responsible for EDI and the Geth¡¯s demise. But what exactly happened? What could be terrible enough to bring him this low?


    ¡°John? John, please,¡± she said, nudging him back and forth. Her eyes grew wet with tears. Keelah, she could hardly bear to see him like this. Why are you acting this way?! ¡°Just talk to me, saera.¡±


    He stirred. ¡°Sorry, I¡­I was just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she said softly. ¡°It¡¯s okay. Let¡¯s just head back to our room. We can talk about it there.¡±


    They went on. Soon, they arrived at hab-block E-45, then made their way to their room, which reminded her of apartments from the Citadel¡¯s lower wards, or even Omega. When the door closed behind them with a metallic whine, John sighed as he took off his coat.


    Was now the time to ask him?


    He faced her. ¡°Tali?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡± Her heart broke at the guilt and shame in his eyes. A few tears streamed down her cheeks. ¡°What is it, saera?¡±


    ¡°I have a confession to make,¡± he said. He sighed, then slid one hand down his face. ¡°One way or another, I know you¡¯ll find out about this, so¡­better it comes from me.¡± He took a deep breath. ¡°Let¡¯s talk about what I did on the Crucible.¡±

 Chapter 13

    Tali¡¯Zorah gulped. Her pulse spiked, and her heart hammered inside her chest. Keelah, this was it. Finally, her lifemate was finally going to confess what had been eating at him for so long.


    ¡°Oh, uhm¡­¡± She approached him, then grabbed his hand and led him to their cot. They sat on it, facing each other, and she squeezed his hand. ¡°Why don¡¯t we start from the beginning. What happened after¡­¡± She broke eye contact. Even now, that moment still haunted her. ¡°You know.¡±


    ¡°After I left you behind?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said softly, looking at the ground, ¡°after you left me behind.¡±


    John took a deep breath. ¡°Ok. After I left you behind, Harbinger, it¡­it almost killed me with a grazing shot from its beam.¡± He gulped. ¡°Just before it fired, I was sure I was dead, that we¡¯d failed, and that the Reapers would harvest every man, woman, and child.¡± He pursed his lips. ¡°But I survived.¡±


    ¡°Keelah, how?¡±


    ¡°The doctors said that, if I¡¯d been wearing anything lighter than a T5-V Battlesuit,¡± he said, ¡°I would have died right then and there. When it happened, I remember a blinding light¡­and then just pain, so much pain.¡± He exhaled through his nose. ¡°Major Coats, he¡­he kept yelling in my ear, saying the offensive had failed, that it was time to retreat.¡± Briefly, he scowled, tensing his jaw. ¡°But I couldn¡¯t accept that, not when you still needed a home.¡±


    She put her free hand on her vocalizer. Ancestors, how much pain had he endured just for her? Would she ever be able to repay him for it?  ¡°John, I¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± he said. ¡°After I forced myself to my feet, I pushed on and several Reaper soldiers tried to stop me. But they were nothing. After killing them, I finally made it to the beam, up to the Citadel.¡±


    ¡°And what happened there?¡±


    For a moment, John remained silent, unable to meet her gaze. In his eyes, she found nothing but horror. ¡°John?¡±


    He stirred, then looked at her once more. ¡°After I made it up, Anderson contacted me on a comm channel.¡±


    She tilted her head. ¡°Anderson also made it up?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°Anderson also made it up. Again, I forced myself to my feet, and I found myself in this¡­red-lit room.¡± He gulped, then pursed his lips. ¡°And in it¡­in it¡­¡±


    Her heart raced. She could hardly bear the anticipation. ¡°What was in it?¡±


    ¡°Mangled, rotting corpses,¡± he said, ¡°hundreds of them, just piled on top of each other like trash ¨C like garbage in a fucking landfill.¡±


    Her eyes went wide. Momentarily, she couldn¡¯t breathe. ¡°Keelah¡­¡±


    His eyes grew wet with tears. ¡°Many of them were children, Tali.¡± He slid his hand down his face. ¡°I¡¯ll never forget their dead eyes, how they wouldn¡¯t stop staring at me. And the smell. Oh god, the smell. I puked as soon as¨C¡±


    She squeezed his hand. ¡°John, if this is too¨C¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he said firmly. He took a deep breath. ¡°No, I have to tell you everything.¡± He pursed his lips. ¡°After puking, I pushed on and tried to regroup with Anderson, but soon our comm-channel encountered some interference. Eventually, it cut off. But nonetheless, I went on and eventually made it to the Citadel¡¯s master control room.¡±


    Her eyes widened. ¡°The Citadel¡¯s master control room?¡±


    The Citadel had so many secret tunnels and chambers only the Keepers knew how to access. Was the master control room among them?


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°There, I found Anderson just¡­standing there, frozen. When I approached him, he faced me. But then this terrible, buzzing pain ripped through my skull, and I couldn¡¯t move. I could barely talk or even think straight.¡± He exhaled. ¡°And then the Illusive Man made his entrance.¡±


    ¡°That bosh¡¯tet was there?¡±


    John nodded. ¡°He was, but that bastard was nearly unrecognizable. He¡¯d mutilated himself with so many Reaper implants and cybernetics, and he could have killed us both, right then and there.¡±


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°Because he probably believed that he¡¯d already won,¡± John said. ¡°After freezing me with his powers, he went on this long, insane rant, trying to justify his actions, as if he needed me to admit that his way was best.¡±


    ¡° Fre¡¯eg eating Hagrr¡¯hizs, ¡± she muttered under her breath.


    ¡°It didn¡¯t help him though,¡± John continued. ¡°He was clearly indoctrinated. Eventually, I made him realize that, and he blew his brains out. But¡­¡±


    She squeezed his hand. ¡°But what?¡±


    Tears streamed down John¡¯s cheeks. He pinched the bridge of his nose, wiping them away, then exhaled. ¡°But not before he made me look Anderson in the eye¡­and shoot him in the gut.¡±


    She gasped and squeezed his hand. ¡°Oh¡­John, I¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°He was like a father to me, Tali,¡± he said. He gulped and wiped away his tears. He exhaled. ¡°Without him, Mindoir would have destroyed me. And now, he¡¯s dead¡­all because I was too weak to resist the Illusive Man¡¯s powers.¡±


    Tightly, she squeezed his hand. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡±


    Momentarily, he smiled. Again, he slid one hand down his face, wiping away his tears, then sighed. ¡°Anyways. After the Illusive Man killed himself, I was finally free of his control. On the nearby control panel, I opened the Citadel¡¯s arms. And while they did, I could hardly stand. I was just so¡­so tired, so damned tired, as if I hadn¡¯t slept in days. Eventually, I sat beside Anderson and we shared some last words.¡±


    ¡°Go on,¡± she said, listening carefully to her lifemate¡¯s every word.


    ¡°I would have saved him if I could,¡± John said, his voice growing more and more choked with emotion. ¡°I wanted him to see the end of the war, to see the end of the Reapers and get the retirement he deserved. But my shot must have severed a major artery¡­¡± Again, he pinched the bridge of his nose, wiping away his tears. He sniffled, then exhaled. ¡°...because he just¡­he just wouldn¡¯t. Stop. Bleeding. There was no hope he¡¯d survive.¡± He gulped. ¡°But I¡¯ll never forget the last things he told me.¡±


    She scooted closer to him, holding his hand with both of hers. She looked deeply into his eyes. ¡°What were they?¡±


    Again, John smiled momentarily. ¡°He said that I¡¯d make a good father, and that he was proud of me.¡±


    She let out a weak laugh, then smiled. ¡°And he was right.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± John said, squeezing her hand. He sighed. ¡°After that, I blacked out. I don¡¯t know for how long, but eventually, the Catalyst woke me up.¡±


    She tilted her head and couldn¡¯t help but notice how he said the word ¡®Catalyst¡¯, with so much acid and contempt. ¡°The Catalyst? So wait, the whole time, the Catalyst was some kind of intelligence?¡±


    He looked away, then let out a bitter, sarcastic laugh. ¡°The whole time, an AI in the Citadel had been controlling the Reapers and nobody noticed. When it woke me up, its ¡®avatar¡¯ took the form of a child I watched die during the Reaper invasion of Earth. And I just barely managed to restrain myself from doing something rash, from doing something I would only regret.¡±


    ¡°Sounds like it was trying to emotionally manipulate you.¡±


    ¡°It was,¡± he almost shouted. He huffed through his nose, then slid his hand down his face. ¡°That arrogant, self-righteous little shit only wanted to make its ¡®reasons¡¯ for the Reaper Cycles easier to accept.¡±


    Her pulse climbed. Her breathing quickened. Ancestors, she was finally going to learn the true reasons for so many genocides. ¡°What were they?¡±


    ¡°It told me,¡± John said, ¡°that it was created by the Leviathans to solve a problem. Apparently, the Leviathans¡¯ countless thrall races kept destroying themselves in conflicts just like the Morning War, cutting off their ¡®tribute¡¯ to their masters. And apparently, the Leviathans originally intended for the Catalyst and the Reapers to be ¡®peacemakers¡¯ between organics and synthetics.¡±


    Keelah¡­


    Had her people been repeating a pattern that had gone for countless eons? She gulped. If not for John, we never would have broken it. ¡°And how did that turn out?¡±


    ¡°Exactly how you¡¯d expect,¡± he said bitterly. ¡°No matter how hard the Catalyst tried, it couldn¡¯t stop synthetics and organics from killing each other.¡± He sighed. ¡°So in its sick, twisted fucking head, the Calayst concluded that the only way to stop synthetics from taking over the galaxy was to regularly cull space-faring races before they could even make them, to enact genocide after genocide in¨C¡±


    ¡°The Reaper Cycles.¡±


    John nodded, and a brief silence ensued.


    Ancestors, what had been like to learn such a terrible, cosmic truth about organics and synthetics? It couldn¡¯t have been easy. ¡°So did the Catalyst do next?¡±


    ¡°It told me that, just by making it this far, its solution wouldn¡¯t work anymore,¡± John said, ¡°that I¡¯ve altered the variables and presented¡­new possibilities.¡±


    ¡°New possibilities?¡±


    John pursed his lips. He closed his eye, then sighed. ¡°It gave me three choices, three ways I could end the war.¡±


    ¡°And what were they?¡±


    ¡°The first choice,¡± John said, ¡°was an offer to Control the Reapers.¡±


    She gasped, her eyes wide, her mouth open. ¡°An offer to WHAT?¡±


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°It said my corporeal form would be atomized,¡± John said, ¡°and that my mind would become the new guiding intelligence behind the Reapers.¡±


    She paled. She couldn¡¯t speak, nor move. Keelah, just the thought of that scenario chilled her insides to ice and made her sick. Control the Reapers? And prove that the Illusive man was right?!


    And John¡­


    If she had learned that his body had been atomized, and that a cold, emotionless imitation of his mind was controlling the Reapers, then Felz¡¯elt would have burned away her sanity. Yes, upon hearing such news, she would have put the barrel of her shotgun in her mouth and pulled the trigger without hesitation.


    He squeezed her hand, and momentarily she smiled. I¡¯m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around.


    She exhaled. ¡°What was the second choice?¡±


    Again, he let out a bitter, sarcastic laugh. ¡°The second choice was something called Synthesis.¡±


    ¡°Synthesis?¡±


    ¡°Again, my body would have been atomized,¡± he said. ¡°But this time, my mind would have been wiped from existence. And somehow , the Crucible blast would have used my DNA to make every organic part synthetic, and every synthetic part organic, connecting them all in this¡­galaxy-spanning hive mind.¡±


    She looked at the ground, her eyes wide. Ancestors, how was something so fantastical and ridiculous even possible? It had to have been a trap, a ruse for something else. But what?


    And John¡­


    If he had been naive enough to believe the Catalyst¡¯s lie, and he had been totally erased from existence to doom everyone to a dystopian nightmare she couldn¡¯t imagine, then Felz¡¯elt would have ravaged her mind and scorched away her sanity until nothing remained. Likely, she would have become too insane to even commit suicide.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± John said, ¡°it¡¯s as bad and crazy as it sounds, and that fucking god-child believed that this was the ideal choice, that somehow synthesis would just magically fix everything.¡±


    She looked at him once more. If the Catalyst had presented her lifemate with such insane, unthinkable choices, then what could possibly be the last one? ¡°And the last one?¡±


    John looked away, staring at the ground. In his eyes, she found only fear¡­


    And shame.


    Such terrible shame, the kind that ravaged one¡¯s self-esteem until only scraps remained.


    What are you ashamed of? Undoubtedly, he was responsible for EDI and the Geth¡¯s demise. Undoubtedly, they deserved to see the end of the war, the end of the Reapers. But surely, their sacrifice had to be necessary.


    Right?


    ¡°The last choice¡­¡± he said. He gulped, then pursed his lips. He slid his hand down his face and wiped away his tears. ¡°The last choice was¡­¡±


    ¡°John,¡± she said. She leaned forward and put one hand on his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes. ¡°Whatever it was, you don¡¯t need to feel ashamed to tell me. You¡¯re my lifemate, my other half. So there¡¯s nothing you can do that would ever stop me from loving you.¡±


    He exhaled. ¡°Ok.¡± He nodded, then gulped. ¡°The last option was to eradicate all synthetic life.¡±


    She gasped, her eyes wide, her mouth open. ¡°Everything?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°Everything. EDI, the Geth, the Reapers, and every AI in the galaxy. At the cost of some damage to the relays.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± she said, putting one hand on her vocalizer. ¡°John, I¡­I can¡¯t imagine¡­¡±


    ¡°They trusted me¡­¡± he said, ¡°...and I betrayed them.¡± He pinched the bridge of his nose, then let out a few quiet sobs. He sniffled, then wiped his tears and exhaled. Once more, he looked at her. ¡°And it wasn¡¯t just them.¡±


    ¡°There were more?¡±


    ¡°So much more,¡± he almost shouted. He opened up his omni-tool and input a few commands. Within seconds, her omni-tool beeped, and in her inbox, she found some files, some reports on the status of three uncontacted races. Quickly, she skimmed through them, only to be left utterly speechless.


    Is this what you¡¯ve been carrying, John? A cold, hollow sensation racked her chest, and she couldn¡¯t help but shed a few tears. Keelah, no wonder he¡¯d been in so much pain. No matter what, she¡¯d do anything possible to help him cope with it, to help him forgive himself and realize that he deserved to be happy.


    ¡°I¡¯m a monster, Tali,¡± he said, his voice choked with emotion, ¡°one of the worst in galactic history. And everyone keeps praising me ¨C calling me a god damn hero!¡± Grimacing, he wiped his face of tears. ¡°I told¡­¡± He sniffled. ¡°I told the Coalition leaders that I did it for the ¡®greater good¡¯ and because it was necessary. But I didn¡¯t give them a complete answer ¨C the main reason why I did it.¡±


    She tightened her grip on his hand. ¡°And what was the main reason?¡±


    ¡°I¡­I did it because¡­because¡­¡± Again, he pinched the bridge of his nose, then burst into a brief fit of choking sobs. He sniffled, then took a deep breath. ¡°I did it because I couldn¡¯t bear the thought of you suffering alone in some dystopian hell. Because I¡¯d sooner see everything burn than let the Reapers get away with it!¡±


    He broke down into a sobbing mess.


    Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around her lifemate and embraced him in a warm, tight hug. She also burst into tears, and for what felt like hours, John clung to her with desperate tightness, pouring out the emotions he¡¯d kept buried since their days on the SR-1.


    Eventually, John¡¯s sobs lessened, and he calmed down. When he did, she gently pulled away, then held his face with both hands. With one hand, she began stroking his cheek, wiping away his tears.


    Ancestors, what could she tell him to make his guilt at least bearable? Think, you bosh¡¯tet. Think.


    ¡°No person,¡± she said, ¡°has ever had to bear and suffer through so much. First, you lost your family at Mindior. And then you had to shoulder the weight of the galaxy, when Saren, the Collectors, and the Reapers threw the worst they had at you. Through it all, you never broke. You conquered trial after trial, without ever giving up.  But now¡­you¡¯ve finally reached your limit.¡± She rested her visor against his forehead, giving him a quarian kiss. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine how hard it must be to carry something like this, to have it haunt your every waking moment, and have it gnaw on your sanity.¡± She deepened the quarian kiss. ¡°But saera¡­ please believe me when I say that you are not a monster. You deserve to be happy. And I am not just saying this because we¡¯re bonded.¡±


    She kept her visor mere inches away from his face, staring into his eyes. ¡°For so long, all you¡¯ve done is give and give to the galaxy without any regard for yourself. Time and time again, you¡¯ve acted more quarian than half the people I know, but now¡­you¡¯ve given enough.¡±


    Briefly, she paused. Still, John remained unresponsive.


    She sighed. You have nothing left to give. Please, for once, just live for yourself. ¡°I know that sacrificing so much to destroy the Reapers must have been the hardest choice you¡¯ve ever had to make. But please understand that only somebody like you ¨C somebody with your strength and resolve ¨C could have made such a decision.¡± Again, she gave him a quarian kiss. ¡°You had no choice.¡±


    She paused to let that statement sink in. Gently, she pulled away but held his hands. Maybe he¡¯d feel better about his decision if he knew how much worse the others were. ¡°Now, to be honest, I can¡¯t thank you enough for refusing to choose synthesis or control. If you did, well¡­¡± Briefly, she looked at the ground. She looked back at him. ¡°Then I would have killed myself.¡±


    John¡¯s eyes widened. He gulped. ¡°You would?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said firmly, ¡°and nothing would have been able to save me. On that det kazuat of an uncharted world, Liara just barely managed to stop Felz¡¯elt from pushing me to do that. And if¡­¡± she sobbed and tears streamed down her cheeks. ¡°If you had actually died on the Crucible, then I think I would have killed myself eventually, no matter how badly I wanted to honor your sacrifice.¡± She looked at the ground. ¡°Our bond is just too new, and the loneliness, the aching void in my soul, it¡­it would have become too much to bear.¡±


    A brief silence ensued, and John broke eye contact, squeezing her hands.


    ¡°As difficult as your decision was,¡± she continued. ¡°Ask yourself what suffering you would have brought to the galaxy had you chosen synthesis or control.¡± She squeezed his hands. ¡°Nobody wants to make peace, or to be ruled by the genocidal machines that butchered their families and burned their homes. So another war with the Reapers would have been inevitable, John. Billions more would die, and there would be no hope of victory. The survivors ¨C and countless generations afterward ¨C would be doomed to lives of misery and pain under the rule of a Reaper Empire.¡± She leaned forward and put one hand on his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes. ¡°Could your conscience have handled that?¡±


    He pursed his lips. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°And let¡¯s not forget,¡± she said, ¡°how the consequences of your decision are blinding you to the benefits, to the positives. If anything, you did more good, in destroying the Reapers, than the deeds of every hero in galactic history combined.¡±


    John broke eye contact, and his face looked blank.


    ¡°You may not believe me,¡± she said, ¡°but it¡¯s true.¡± Again, she gave him a quarian kiss.  ¡°Because of you, every race the Reapers had ever harvested can finally rest in peace, knowing that you avenged them. Because of you, billions ¨C and countless generations to follow ¨C will get to live out their lives, without having to fear another galactic threat like the Reapers. They owe you everything . And Kaiden, Thane, Mordin, Anderson ¨C everyone that¡¯s ever died fighting the Reapers ¨C would be smiling down at you from amongst the ancestors, knowing that you honored their sacrifice, that they died for a future worth living, for the future that you created.¡±


    She paused, so he could process her words. ¡°No matter the pain you¡¯re feeling now, never forget that I would follow you anywhere and support you through anything.¡± She stroked his cheek. ¡°I love you more than words can describe. And like all the trials we¡¯ve faced before, we¡¯ll endure this together.¡±


    For a maddeningly long while, he remained silent. Gently, he pulled away and looked at the ground.


    Please, please, please, don¡¯t beat yourself up. Forgive yourself!


    Eventually, he looked at her, then held both her hands.¡°Thank you. You¡¯ve given me a lot to think about. Everything you said, I¡­I can¡¯t tell you how much it means to me, but¡­¡±


    ¡°But what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d be lying to you if I promised this pain would ever fully go away,¡± he said, ¡°if I could ever be like the man I used to be. But I promise that I¡¯ll try, that I¡¯ll do my best to get past this and be the lifemate you deserve.¡±


    ¡°John,¡± she said, ¡°don¡¯t you ever believe ¨C even for one second ¨C that you¡¯re not good enough.¡± She leaned forward and put her hand on his cheek. ¡°You. Are. Perfect. And please¡­I don¡¯t want you to ever feel pressured into forgiving yourself. I don¡¯t expect your pain to ever fully go away. Just know that you will never have to suffer it alone.¡± She gave him a quarian kiss. ¡°So from now on, saera, please¡­let me share it with you.¡±


    He took a deep breath. ¡°Ok.¡± He gulped. ¡°If I¡¯m going to share this with you, then I guess I should tell you that I will never feel truly at peace, until everyone knows the truth about the Reaper cycles, how they started, and why the Catalyst is wrong.¡±


    ¡°Is this what that book of yours will be about?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°For once, I want to use my fame and influence for good and win a final, moral victory over the Catalyst by having everyone realize that its ¡®solution¡¯ is flawed.¡±


    ¡°In what way?¡±


    He sighed. ¡°Right before I chose to sacrifice all synthetic life, it practically begged me to reconsider, saying that future generations will build synthetics, and that ¡®the chaos will come back¡¯.¡± He frowned and tensed his jaw. ¡°But I won¡¯t let it. Your people and the Geth were living proof that organics can coexist with synthetics, and you can be damned sure I¡¯ll let everyone know that.¡±


    She couldn¡¯t deny the truth of her lifemate''s words. Once her people had finally recognized the Geth as sentient beings deserving of rights, the future had seemed so bright. ¡°If this will help you find peace, then I will support you every step of the way.¡± She squeezed his hands. ¡°Once you publish it, I¡¯ll do everything I can to promote it. And I¡¯m sure Admiral Korris, as well as my auntie, would love to help, to use your work to help bring back the Geth.¡±


    He perked up. ¡°Do you really think that could happen?¡±


    ¡°Right now,¡± she said, ¡°the Conclave is likely debating the matter, and will continue to do so for months, and maybe years. But ancestors be willing, you might just tip the balance.¡±


    For the first time in days, his lips curled into a genuine smile. ¡°Perhaps it will, Mrs. Shepard . Perhaps it will.¡±


    A warm, euphoric sensation bloomed in her chest, and she couldn¡¯t help but giggle. She loved it when he called her that.


    John yawned, then checked the time on his omni-tool. It was half past one in the morning. ¡°Anyways, it¡¯s getting late.¡± He began to take off his boots. ¡°About time we get some rest.¡± He lay back on the cot.


    And eagerly, she cuddled up to him. ¡°Oh yes, indeed.¡±


    John covered them both with the cot¡¯s worn-out, scratchy blanket, then wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her tight. And for a while, she savored the moment, relishing her lifemate¡¯s scent and body heat. In his arms, she always felt so safe and secure, as though nothing could harm her.


    Briefly, she looked back to their time in the bar with Hayes. Oh, yes. The drinking.


    ¡°John?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°One more thing,¡± she said. ¡°When we get our house, please¡­no more drinking.¡±


    Momentarily, he held her tighter. ¡°Anything for you, saera. ¡±


    She¡¯d never tire of hearing him say that. ¡°Good. Because I¡¯ll need you sober for all the fun we¡¯re going to have in the bedroom.¡±


    He laughed. ¡°Is that so, Mrs. Shepard? Well, it seems I¡¯ll have no choice but to obey.¡±


    She giggled. ¡°Yes.¡± She began to trace her hands across his chest. ¡°I¡¯m going to make every second of pain you felt coming back to me worth it, a hundred times over.¡±


    ¡°You already do that,¡± he said, ¡°every time I hear you laugh, or see you smile.¡± He let out a contented sigh. ¡°But nonetheless, I can¡¯t wait. Someday, I¡¯ll definitely return the favor.¡±


    She laughed and gave him a playful pat on the chest. ¡°Oh, go to sleep, you horny, smooth-talking bosh¡¯tet. ¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°As you command, Mrs. Shepard. As you command.¡±

 Chapter 14

    On a beach on the outskirts of camp one, John Shepard tapped into his biotics, then hurled a fist-sized piece of rubble into the air. It arced over the ocean of murky, grey water ahead, but then a sharp crack-boom split the air, and that piece of rubble exploded into a cloud of dust.


    ¡°Another perfect shot,¡± he told Garrus.


    Garrus lowered his sniper rifle. ¡°That¡¯s nineteen points, Shepard. You have quite a lot of catching up to do.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°Yeah. Seems like I do.¡±


    Above, the sky was choked with smog and ash and was the usual shade of light grey, during the daytime. Around him, rubble and debris littered the shore, along with two beached Reaper corpses. But thankfully, the wind was only a light breeze.


    At least that¡¯s not throwing off my aim.


    Garrus handed him the rifle, and he took it. ¡°Your turn.¡±


    He¡¯d been playing this game with Garrus for about an hour. So far, Garrus had missed only once, and he had missed all but five of his shots.


    I¡¯ll get the next one. He took the rifle


    ¡°Ready?¡± Garrus asked, grabbing a fist-sized piece of rubble on the shore.


    He nodded. ¡°Toss away.¡±


    Garrus hurled the piece of rubble, and it arced over the ocean, high into the air.


    Aiming down the rifle''s scope, he held his breath, trying to line up his shot. No matter how hard he tried, his hands kept shaking, throwing off his aim. But nonetheless, he pulled the trigger. The recoil slammed into his shoulder, and the rifle roared with an ear-splitting crack-boom .


    Had his shot landed?


    He lowered the rifle, then spotted the piece of rubble falling into the ocean.


    Momentarily, he scowled and gripped the rifle tighter. Another miss. Closing his eye, he let out a frustrated sigh.


    Yes, the doctors had told him he¡¯d never be a soldier again, that the nerve damage across so much of the left side of his body would affect his motor abilities for the rest of his life. It was a miniscule price to pay. But had he really deteriorated this much? In his prime, he had graduated from the N7 program, as one of the best marksmen, able to land perfect headshots on moving targets nearly half a kilometer away. Now, he had the marksmanship of a conscript barely out of boot camp.


    And to think that he had let Garrus win their shooting contest on the Citadel.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Garrus said, nudging his arm.


    He stirred, then looked at Garrus.


    ¡°If you¡¯ve had enough of this,¡± Garrus said, ¡°then let¡¯s stop here. No need to declare a winner.¡± He turned and made his way towards the two lawn chairs nearby. ¡°Come. Let¡¯s have a drink.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said. ¡°I think I¡¯d like that.¡±


    He sat on the lawn chair. Meanwhile, Garrus opened the small cooler he had brought along with him, then got out a six-pack of dextro beer, along with one of lemon sodas.


    ¡°I know you promised Tali that you¡¯d never touch alcohol again,¡± Garrus said, handing him the pack of lemon sodas. ¡°So I got you these, your favorite.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± he said, taking them. Immediately, he cracked one open, then took a sip. He reclined into the lawn chair and sighed.


    Yes, tomorrow, Garrus would leave Earth and head back to Palaven to assume his new duties. Today was the last day of the ¡®leave¡¯ Victus had granted his best friend as a courtesy. And this outing would be the last time they¡¯d see each other in person for perhaps many years.


    So better he asked this now.


    ¡°Garrus?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Shepard?¡±


    He sighed. ¡°I hate to bring up something so negative. But since you¡¯re leaving tomorrow, I think it¡¯s best I ask you this now.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    He looked into Garrus¡¯ eyes. ¡°What exactly happened to Tali after the Normandy crashed on that uncharted world?¡±


    Garrus broke eye contact, then took a deep breath through his nose. ¡°I was wondering when you would ask this. But before I say anything, let me ask you a question.¡± Garrus paused. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°About three weeks ago,¡± he said, ¡°Tali and I, we¡­we had a very emotional talk, and she told me that Liara just barely managed to stop her from killing herself. Since then, it¡¯s been bothering me, and I need to know the specifics. I need to know exactly what she went through.¡±


    Garrus sipped his beer. ¡°Why not just ask her?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want her to relive those experiences any more than she has to,¡± he said. ¡°And besides¡­you can give me an outside perspective.¡±


    ¡°Fair enough,¡± Garrus said. Garrus took another sip of this beer. ¡°After we left you behind, Tali was in very bad condition. I¡¯m talking, multiple suit breaches, a cracked visor, broken bones, and countless cuts and burns. Ashley and James helped me take her to the med-bay, and Chakwas kept her sedated for the next two or three days. Even then, she kept calling out your name, as if somehow you could save her from the pain.¡±


    Briefly, he broke eye contact. He pursed his lips. Just how terribly had she suffered, getting torn away from him? ¡°What happened next?¡±


    ¡°About a day after we crashed,¡± Garrus continued, ¡°she woke up. The first thing she did, apparently, was ask where you were, and whether you were okay. And spirits help me, I¡­¡± Garrus slid one hand down his face. ¡°I had to give her the bad news.¡± Garrus huffed through his nose, then hummed. Garrus met his gaze. ¡°The way she reacted Shepard, I¡­¡±


    His pulse climbed. ¡°How did she react?¡±


    ¡°You and me,¡± Garrus said, ¡°we¡¯ve both seen and experienced some of the worst things imaginable.¡± Garrus took another sip of his beer, then looked at the ground. ¡°But I¡¯ll never forget how she reacted. Never. It¡¯ll haunt me for the rest of my life.¡±


    His heart pounded. What havoc did Felz¡¯elt wreak on her mind? What did it make her do? ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°When I told her that you were most certainly dead,¡± Garrus said, ¡°she just¡­froze and went silent. She wouldn¡¯t respond to anything anyone said or did. Then suddenly, she stormed off and locked herself in your cabin.¡±


    He pursed his lips. ¡°For how long?¡±


    ¡°Three days.¡±


    His eyes went wide, and he gasped. ¡°Three days?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Garrus said, ¡°three days. During them, I tried to talk to her, and so did Liara and Ashley. But no matter what, she just wouldn¡¯t respond.¡± Garrus took another sip of his beer. ¡°Sometimes, whenever I left her a few tubes of nutrient paste outside the door, I¡¯d hear her¡­wailing like some tortured, dying animal. Once, she even went on this long, crazed rant in Khelish and got so angry I was sure she¡¯d pass out.¡±Garrus took a gulp of his beer. ¡°Instead, she only broke down into a crying mess.¡±


    ¡°You did this to her,¡± said an insidious voice in the back of his mind. With all his willpower, he silenced it, but couldn¡¯t help but scorn himself. God, just how close to insanity had Felz¡¯elt pushed her? ¡°Did she ever come out?¡±


    ¡°Eventually, she did,¡± Garrus said. He took another sip of his beer. ¡°Spirits, at first, I thought she¡¯d finally come to her senses, that she was finally trying to heal and move on. But I couldn¡¯t have been any more wrong. Immediately, she started working herself to death with these insane twenty-hour shifts.¡±


    Again, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. ¡°Twenty hours?¡±


    Garrus nodded. ¡°Yes, twenty-hour shifts. According to Ken, Gabby, and Adams, she¡¯d hardly speak the whole time and refused to take breaks. As Ken once told me, she might as well have been a walking corpse, a lifeless husk of a woman, just going through the motions.¡±


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    He finished his lemon soda, then tossed away the can before cracking open another. Yes, after the Mindoir Massacre, he¡¯d become very familiar with such a state of mind, with feeling dead on the inside, going through life on auto-pilot. ¡°And this went on for how long?¡±


    ¡°To be honest,¡± Garrus said, ¡°I don¡¯t remember. But eventually, Gabby woke me up one night and begged me to force her to take a break. I agreed, then went to confront her.¡± Garrus took a gulp of his beer. ¡°When I did, I made a very stupid mistake.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I mentioned your name,¡± Garrus said. He snorted, then let out a deep hum. ¡°When I did, she shoved past me and stormed off. Again, she locked herself in your cabin and wouldn¡¯t come out for another day. No matter how much I banged on the door, and begged her to talk to me, she wouldn¡¯t respond. It was as if I didn¡¯t exist.¡±


    Oh, God help her. ¡°And what happened after that?¡±


    ¡°After that,¡± Garrus said, ¡°I forced her to regularly go foraging with Liara and sometimes Traynor. I thought if she spent more time around people, then maybe she¡¯d improve, that maybe she¡¯d open up.¡± He finished his beer, then tossed the empty bottle aside. ¡°But it was no use. No matter how hard Traynor or Liara tried, she would not open up. Every day, she¡¯d get worse and worse until¡­¡±


    ¡°Until you had enough?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Garrus said, ¡°until I had enough. One day, she decided to sleep in and let Liara and Traynor go foraging without her. And that¡¯s when it was time for an intervention, when there was only one option left to save her from herself.¡±


    ¡°What did you do?¡±


    ¡°I gathered Liara, Ashley, Ken, Gabby, and Adams,¡± Garrus said, ¡°and then we went up to deck one. As expected, she¡¯d locked herself in your cabin. If necessary, I would have dragged her out of there by force, but thankfully, Liara knew just what to say.¡± He cracked up another beer. ¡°After Tali let us in, we told her that the only option left was for Liara to mind-meld with her, so she could share her pain with all of us.¡±


    ¡°Garrus, did all of you really do that?¡± he asked. ¡°Just for her?¡±


    ¡°We did,¡± Garrus said.  ¡°After a loud, terrible argument, Tali finally agreed to let us do this.¡± Garrus took a sip of his beer. ¡°And I was the first person Liara showed Tali¡¯s pain.¡±


    I should have been the first. Yes, circumstances had made that impossible, but still, he couldn¡¯t help but feel a little jealous. Before going to Rannoch, he would certainly have a chat with Liara, and have her show him Tali¡¯s pain. ¡°And what was it like?¡±


    Garrus looked away, and for a moment, he remained silent. ¡°Shepard, I¡­I thought I knew grief and pain after Sidonis¡¯ betrayal. But her pain¡­¡± Garrus huffed through his nose, then slid one hand down his face. ¡°... it''s like the mental equivalent of having every plate peeled off your body, over and over again. In her position, I don¡¯t think I would have lasted very long.¡± He took a gulp of his beer. ¡°Spirits, she must be a very, very strong woman.¡±


    You don¡¯t need to tell me twice. He gulped down the rest of his lemon soda. ¡°After that, did she start to get better?¡±


    ¡°Slowly,¡± Garrus said. ¡°Liara practically became her therapist. And sometimes, during their sessions,  she¡¯d go on for hours about how much you¡¯ve done for her, about how much she loved you, and how you¡¯re death left an ¡®aching void¡¯ in her soul that would never heal. Soon, she stopped isolating herself in your cabin¡­and then we got your message.¡±


    He and Garrus paused, with only the crashing waves and the whistling wind breaking the silence.


    You will never suffer like that again. Yes, just as she¡¯d offered, he¡¯d make every second she suffered enduring Felz¡¯elt worth it a hundred times over.


    ¡°Garrus,¡± he said, ¡°I can¡¯t begin to describe how thankful I am for what you and the others did to help her. This¡­this is the greatest thing you¡¯ve ever done for me, a gift I can never repay.¡±


    ¡°No repayment is necessary,¡± Garrus said. ¡°After everything you¡¯ve done for us, this is the least we could do.¡± Briefly, he looked away. ¡°And personally, I¡­¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    Garrus gulped. ¡°Personally, I couldn¡¯t have let her kill herself. Because if she did, then well¡­your sacrifice would have been for nothing.¡± He took a gulp of his beer. ¡°I would have failed you in the worst way possible, and I don¡¯t think I would have been able to forgive myself. It would have been so much worse than losing my team on Omega.¡±


    Facing Garrus, he leaned forward. ¡°You have never failed me. Do you understand that?¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± Garrus said. ¡°I know. It¡¯s just¡­well¡­¡± Garrus gulped, then let out a throaty hum. ¡°Anyways, it¡¯s all behind us now. Everything turned out just fine.¡±


    ¡°Indeed it did,¡± he said. You¡¯re better than you realize, friend. ¡°Indeed it did.¡±


    For the next few minutes, he watched and listened to the waves crashing against the shore. He let out a contented sigh. Yes, even now, the future seemed bright. But what did it have in store for Garrus? What exactly were his friend¡¯s new duties?


    ¡°So Garrus,¡± he said, ¡°what¡¯s Victus having you do now? As a courtesy, I know he gave you some time to wrap up any personal affairs on Earth. But you never told me anything about your new duties.¡±


    Garrus exhaled through his nose. ¡°Victus and what¡¯s left of Hierarchy High Command have promoted me to Admiral.¡± He finished his second beer. ¡°And Victus himself wants me to be his deputy.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t sound very excited about it.¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯m not,¡± Garrus said, tossing aside the empty bottle. ¡°To be honest with you, Shepard, I¡¯m going to miss our days of saving the galaxy, of when it was just us and the others on the Normandy , winning against the odds. Now, everything will be just¡­boring.¡±


    ¡°Boring?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Garrus said, ¡°boring. As an Admiral, I¡¯ll be forced to take a less hands-on role in any future conflicts, and my days of being a bachelor will be over.¡±


    ¡°I take it you¡¯re not much of a one-woman kind of man then.¡±


    ¡°I never was,¡± Garrus said. ¡°Whenever I¡¯ve let a woman get that close, things always ended badly.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± he said. ¡°So is this some kind of etiquette for high-ranking officers?¡±


    ¡°It is,¡± Garrus said. ¡°Newly promoted Generals and Admirals are expected to become the Patriarch of a new¨C¡± Garrus uttered an unpronounceable, untranslatable word in the turian language.


    He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, a what? All I heard was a bunch of clicks, hisses, and hums.¡±


    Garrus snorted, then let out a throaty hum. ¡°Think of them as important families, with a lot of militaristic traditions.¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± he said, ¡°so the Hierarchy has some kind of military aristocracy.¡±


    ¡°The¨C¡± Again, Garrus said that alien word. ¡°--are much, much more complicated than that. I don¡¯t think any non-turian could ever truly understand them. But yes, a military aristocracy is a good approximation.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°Sounds like you¡¯re under a lot of pressure.¡±


    ¡°Spirits, you have no idea,¡± Garrus said, reclining into his lawn chair. Garrus sighed. ¡°Quite frankly, Shepard¡­It¡¯s overwhelming.¡±


    He raised his eyebrows. ¡°Overwhelming?¡± Again, he leaned forward. ¡°Hey, your mistakes are in the past. Since then, you¡¯ve grown so much past them.¡± He cracked open another can of lemon soda, then took a sip. ¡°Remember our talk about the ruthless calculus of war?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°I meant every word,¡± he said. ¡°You did the best you could with whatever you knew, and it was more than enough. Fantastic, actually.¡± He took another sip of his lemon soda. ¡°Yes, I can definitely see why Victus would promote you to Admiral, and why he¡¯d make you his deputy.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Well, not only have you proven yourself as a capable leader and strategist,¡± he said, ¡°but you¡¯re also humble¡­and a bad turian.¡±


    ¡°Wait, wait, wait,¡± Garrus said, ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re so humble,¡± he continued, ¡°you¡¯ll always take your responsibilities seriously and give nothing but your absolute best. And because you¡¯re a bad turian, you¡¯ll always be flexible¡­and never give bad orders.¡±


    Garrus¡¯ eyes widened. Garrus broke eye contact. ¡°Oh¡­I see¡­¡±


    ¡°Never forget that I have faith in you,¡± he said. ¡°If you ever become the next primarch, I have no doubt you¡¯ll be a great one.¡±


    Garrus¡¯ mandibles flared. ¡°There you go again, convincing me that I¡¯m better than I think.¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°You are, Garrus. You are.¡±


    ¡°Anyways,¡± Garrus said, putting the rest of his beers in the small cooler he¡¯d brought along with him. ¡°Let me ask you a question now.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± he said, ¡°well go on. Ask.¡±


    ¡°This book of yours,¡± Garrus said, ¡°what exactly is it about?¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± he said. ¡°Yes, my book. Well, if I¡¯m going to tell you about it, then I guess I should start with what happened after I made it up the beam.¡±


    Garrus faced him, then leaned forward. ¡°Yes, what happened? You never told me.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°Remember that ¡®talk¡¯ with Tali I just told you about? Well, in it, I finally told her about my actions on the Crucible and how I felt about their consequences.¡±


    ¡°Their consequences?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯ll get to them.¡±


    He took a deep breath, then told Garrus everything about his actions on the Crucible. The whole time, Garrus remained silent, as if listening carefully.


    When he finished, he and Garrus paused.


    ¡°By the spirits¡­¡± Garrus said, ¡°to have something like that on your conscious, I can¡¯t imagine how¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± he said. He finished the rest of his lemon soda. ¡°Tali, she¡¯s already helped me deal with a lot of the guilt and shame. To deal with the rest, I¡¯m writing this book to show everyone why the Catalyst is wrong, why synthetics can coexist with organics, and why the ¡®chaos¡¯ will not come back.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Garrus said, ¡°the Catalyst was definitely wrong. And you proved that its solution was flawed the moment you brokered peace between the quarians and the geth.¡± Garrus sighed. ¡°Shame the geth are gone now. With them, we could have rebuilt everything so much faster. And EDI¡­what are you going to tell Joker?¡±


    He looked at the ground, then took a deep breath through his nose. Indeed, what was he going to tell Joker? That he murdered his only love for the greater good? ¡°I¡­I don¡¯t know. But at some point, I¡¯ll have to tell him. If he hates me for what I did, and can forgive me, then so be it.¡±


    Garrus put one hand on his shoulder. ¡°Hey, when that moment comes, I doubt it¡¯ll be easy. But knowing Joker, I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll understand.¡± Briefly, Garrus broke eye contact. ¡°Yes, he might hate you for a while. But eventually, I have no doubt that he¡¯ll forgive you. He just isn¡¯t the type of person to hold on to grudges.¡±


    He smiled. ¡°Thanks. I guess you might have a point. But I guess we¡¯ll just have to wait and see.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Garrus said, ¡°I guess only time will tell.¡± Garrus cleared his throat. ¡°But anyways, your book, how much progress have you made.¡±


    ¡°Over the past three weeks,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯ve written about sixty thousand words, or about two-hundred pages worth of content. Every few days, I¡¯ve been sending chapters to Tali, Wrex, Bakara, Hayes, and two of the quarian admirals, making changes based on their feedback.¡±


    ¡°Send them to me as well,¡± Garrus said. ¡°With my new position, I can do a lot to promote your work. And if I ever become primarch, then I¡¯ll make sure every turian in the galaxy knows about your cause.¡±


    His eyes widened. ¡°You¡¯d really do that?¡±


    ¡°Of course I would,¡± Garrus said. ¡°That¡¯s what friends are for right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what friends are for.¡±


    ¡°And don¡¯t forget Liara,¡± Garrus continued. ¡°Recently, we¡¯ve been talking quite a lot, and apparently, she¡¯s gained quite a few friends in high places.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do that, Garrus,¡± he said. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    Garrus¡¯ omni-tool beeped. Checking it, Garrus closed his eyes, then let out a reptilian hiss.


    ¡°Something wrong?¡±


    ¡°Duty calls,¡± Garrus said, ¡°looks like our little get-together is over.¡± Garrus stood up. ¡°Come, I¡¯ll give you a ride.¡±


    He stood up, as Garrus folded his lawn chair. He did the same, then followed Garrus to the sky car parked nearby. Once they were inside, Garrus turned on the engine. The sky car rose into the air. And then it zoomed ahead, towards the heart of camp one.

 Chapter 15

    In the Camp Bar and Cafe tent, John Shepard was sitting at a booth in the corner farthest from the entrance when he opened a window on his omni-tool, checking his inbox. In it, he found a message Shala had just forwarded to him.


    Dear Admiral Shala¡¯Raan,


    Admiral Shepard¡¯s pal¡¯tec vis surden is ready. When he arrives, tell him to meet me at my new shop at the following coordinates:


    Below the message, he found a set of coordinates, and immediately he archived them. Oh, just you wait, Tali. Indeed, she was in for the surprise of a lifetime.


    He let out a contented sigh, then reclined into his seat. Tomorrow, he, Tali, and Kasumi would finally leave Earth, and head to Rannoch on Shala¡¯s ship the MFV Kelek¡¯miin. Recently, Tali had been busy, making the necessary preparations for their departure.


    But still, he had two loose ends left to tie up: Liara and Joker. He¡¯d delayed them for too long.


    He kept looking at the entrance. Yes, any minute now, Liara should arrive, and then he¡¯d get her to show him Tali¡¯s pain. After that, Joker should arrive¡­and finally he¡¯d tell his favorite pilot what he deserved to know.


    That he had murdered EDI.


    Soon, Liara stepped into the Bar and Cafe, wearing civilian attire. He waved at her, as she ordered something at the counter. And when she spotted him, her eyes widened. She approached him.


    ¡°Shepard,¡± she said. She extended her hand for a handshake, and he accepted it. She sat across from him.  ¡°It¡¯s great to see you. I see you¡¯ve recovered quite well from your injuries.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, I have,¡± he said. ¡°Garrus told me what few matriarchs remain are keeping you very busy. So thank you for taking the time to come. I have a lot of things I need to ask you.¡±


    ¡°Ask away.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°Not too long ago, I¡¯ve learned that ¨C if not for you ¨C Tali would have killed herself. Garrus said that you mind-melded with her, so she could share her pain, and that you shared that pain with him and others. So¡­¡± He looked at the ground.


    ¡°So what?¡±


    He looked into her eyes. ¡°I need you to share it with me too.¡±


    Liara¡¯s eyes widened, and she let out a faint gasp. ¡°Oh¡­uhm¡­of course. I figured that you¡¯d ask me to do this eventually.¡± Briefly, she broke eye contact and pursed her lips. ¡°Ever since our SR-1 days, you¡¯ve always cared so deeply about her. But before I do anything, let me tell you exactly what you¡¯re getting yourself into. This will change you, Shepard. It¡¯ll be anything but pleasant, and you will never see quarians the same way ever again.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    Liara sighed. ¡°In just a few minutes, I experienced years worth of Tali¡¯s memories¡­¡± She looked at the ground. ¡°...including all three stages of the bonding process.¡±


    ¡°You have?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Liara said. She leaned forward, giving him strong eye contact, ¡°I have. If you do this, Shepard, you¡¯ll learn exactly how she feels about you, and even experience it yourself.¡± She gulped. ¡°I don¡¯t quite know how to describe it, but Athame help me, it¡¯s¡­overwhelming.¡±


    He smiled. Yes, this was perfect. Doing this, he¡¯d grow even closer to Tali than he ever thought possible.


    But not without experiencing her pain: Felz¡¯elt.


    ¡°But what about her pain?¡±


    ¡° That ,¡± Liara said, ¡°is the price you¡¯ll have to pay. Once you feel the indescribable joy of Silz¡¯asul felz , you¡¯ll feel the agony of Felz¡¯elt , and that¡­¡± She exhaled, then slid one hand down her face. ¡°Goddess, it¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s what?¡±


    Liara pursed her lips, then looked at the ground. ¡°I never imagined that a sentient being could feel so much pain.¡± She let out a nervous laugh. ¡°It¡¯s like how I felt just hours after the Fall of Thessia, except if the pain was ceaseless and only got worse as time went on.¡±


    ¡°A living hell?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Liara said, ¡° Felz¡¯elt is nothing short of a ¡®living hell¡¯. So are you sure that you still want to do this? I¡¯m sure Tali would understand if backed out.¡±


    A brief silence ensued.


    Yes, circumstances had made certain things impossible. But as her lifemate, he should have been the first person with whom Liara shared Tali¡¯s pain, not Garrus. Indeed, Tali would understand ¨C and likely prefer ¨C if he backed out of this, if he spared himself any more suffering. But nonetheless, he would do it anyway.


    Tali had suffered immeasurably on that uncharted world. And damn it, he couldn¡¯t just do nothing to help banish it from her mind.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯m more sure of this than anything.¡±


    Momentarily, Liara smiled. ¡°Then let¡¯s get started. Give me your hand.¡±


    He complied, and Liara held it with both of hers. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then suddenly, an electric sensation raced up his arm, up his neck, then behind his eyes. She opened hers, which now resembled inky pools of darkness.


    ¡°Embrace eternity.¡±


    And then everything went black.


    In a high-speed blur of successive visions, he experienced days, weeks, and then months'' worth of his lifemates memories, starting from when they first met. Firsthand, he felt her relief at being treated with respect, like an equal, not a freak, a vagrant, a suit-rat. Firsthand, he felt her joy and elation of being swept away on the adventure of a lifetime, of bonding with her human captain, and of finding love and acceptance when before it seemed so hopelessly scarce.


    The visions slowed when they reached the moment she knew she was walking down pemla¡¯tiyl , the pathway to the mind.


    She¡¯s sitting beside him on the bed inside his cabin. ¡°So that girl from the docking bay¡­were you still thinking about her?¡±


    Looking at the ground, he purses his lips. ¡°Yes. She was from Mindoir, where I grew up?¡±


    ¡°Keelah, what happened there?¡±


    For a moment, Shepard hesitates, as if wondering whether he wanted to answer her question, to relive whatever horrors he experienced there. Finally, her Captain takes a deep breath, looks her in the eye, then tells her about his childhood on Mindoir.


    He smiled. Back then, he was right to trust and open up to her.


    The visions went on. And firsthand, he experienced her walk down pemla¡¯tiyl , feeling the bond deepen and deepen, until the visions slowed around the moment she knew was walking down hecs¡¯tiyl, the pathway to the heart.


    She knocks on the door to his cabin. ¡°John? John, can I come in?¡±


    In just a few hours, the Normandy would pass through the Mu Relay. In all likelihood, her next mission would be her last. And now that her shift was over in engineering, this was her last chance to form some good memories.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    She enters her nehya¡¯s cabin, and he¡¯s sitting on his bed, looking at a datapad.


    She wrings her hands, her heart pounding in her chest. Would he say no? ¡°John?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Do¡­do you mind if I stay here until we pass through the relay? There¡¯s¡­¡± Momentarily, she looks at the ground. ¡°There¡¯s a good chance that our next mission will be our last, and I think I¡¯d like a few hours with good company.¡±


    He puts down the datapad. ¡°Of course, you can stay here, Tali.¡± He smiles. ¡°I¡¯d also love some good company. Want to watch the newest Blasto movie with me?¡±


    She laughs, and a warm, fuzzy sensation blooms in her chest. ¡°Yes. That sounds perfect.¡±


    He let out a weak laugh. During that movie, she¡¯d fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder, singing her heelrou for the first time. If he knew how she felt then, he would have acted on his feelings so much sooner.


    The visions sped by, and soon her grief and pain over his first death struck him like a hammer blow to the chest. Over a year¡¯s worth of memories, he felt her downward spiral into a seemingly bottomless pit of despair.


    An ice-cold pain gripped his chest in a terrible vise, and he struggled to breathe. His mind screamed for him to end this now, for him to pull away his hand. He clenched his jaw.


    NO!


    With all his willpower, he squashed any such urges.


    He would endure it all with pride.


    Soon, Tali¡¯s pain hit a downward plateau and became an aching, but tolerable numbness in her mind. He took a deep breath. During the next years¡¯ worth of memories, he experienced how she had gone through life on auto-pilot, how she had always looked back to her days on the SR-1, to her time with him, as the greatest days of her life. Soon, the visions reached her time on Freedom¡¯s Progress, to when she had just begun to heal.


    And then, for the first time, he had come back to her.


    The human soldier takes off his helmet, and she freezes. She gasps. Her eyes go wide. Her blood goes cold. And she can hardly breathe. ¡°John? Is that¡­Is that you?¡±


    Her joy and relief rushed through him, and he burst into a fit of weak laughs. A tear streamed down his cheek, and his heart swelled with a warm euphoria.


    After coming back from the dead, he had been the luckiest man in the galaxy to have found her on Freedom¡¯s Progress.


    The visions continued, speeding through her time on the SR-2, through her walk down hecs¡¯tiyl. Soon, they slowed to when she knew she was walking down felz¡¯tiyl , the pathway to the soul.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want anybody else. I want you.¡±


    He burst into a quiet fit of laughing and crying, feeling the blaze of joy and passion those words had sparked within her. The memories went on, and firsthand, he experienced her walk down felz¡¯tiyl towards Silz¡¯asul felz . Soon, the visions slowed to when she knew she had found her lifemate, the other half of her soul.


    ¡° So tell me, Miss Vas Normandy¡­will you be my saera?¡±


    Her indescribable joy flooded his mind, and he burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughing and crying, so intense he could hardly breathe. Was this what Silz¡¯asul felz felt like? Was this how happy he made her?


    God, it was beautiful!


    So, so beautiful!


    Like a drug high that lasted for a lifetime.


    He wanted to feel like this forever. But as the visions sped on, such feelings dissipated when he experienced her side of their terrible separation. Over eight months¡¯ worth of memories, he experienced how she longed for him like a drowning man desperate for air, how his replies to her love letters were all that held her together.


    The visions went on and on, going through her time in the Reaper War, through how she had relied on him as her emotional anchor through so much horror and despair. Soon, they slowed around their night before the final battle for Earth.


    ¡°If we survive this war, I swear you¡¯ll have it, all the time you could ever want. Do you understand me?¡±


    Then finally, the visions reached the moment when he had left her behind.


    ¡°I have a home.¡±


    ¡°Come back to me.¡±


    Firsthand, he experienced how Felz¡¯elt had latched onto her mind like a malicious parasite that gorged on her sanity, pushing her along a downward spiral into madness.


    His pulse spiked. His every muscle tensed, and he began to hyperventilate. Tears streamed down his cheek, and he gritted his teeth, struggling to swallow his screams. As the visions went on, he was practically drowning in her pain and grief. And every second, a cold void expanded in his chest, whilst an impenetrable darkness enshrouded his mind.


    Yes, Felz¡¯elt was just like how he¡¯d felt after the Mindoir Massacre, except that it never waned and left gaping, mental wounds that could never heal.


    Ceaselessly, his mind begged for him to end the mind-meld, to yank his hand away and spare himself the suffering.


    ¡°Shepard?¡± Liara asked. ¡°Shepard, are you okay? Do you want me to stop this?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± he said. ¡°Keep going!¡±


    He had put his lifemate through this pain in the first place.


    And he would not run away from it!


    Yes, he would relish every second of the pain. It was the perfect way to atone for his actions.


    With all his willpower and self-discipline, he forced himself to experience the rest of the visions. Soon, he experienced the apex of Tali¡¯s pain, and his mind begged for death, for an end to this living hell. Soon, the visions reached the intervention Garrus had arranged to save her from herself.


    Then finally, everything faded to black. As soon as Liara let go of his hand, he opened his eye, then leaned back into his seat, his heart pounding as he panted. He wiped his forehead, which was damp with cold sweat, and his every muscle felt drained of vigor, as though he had just run a marathon.


    ¡°So?¡± Liara asked.


    ¡°Liara, that was¡­¡± he said. He gulped.  ¡°I don¡¯t have the words to accurately describe felz¡¯elt and Silz¡¯asul felz . But¡­¡±


    ¡°But what?¡±


    ¡°I have what I need,¡± he said. ¡°I know what I mean to Tali, along with what she went through, and I can¡¯t thank you enough for helping her, for pulling her out of such a bottomless rut.¡± He let out a weak laugh. ¡°This is the greatest thing you¡¯ve ever done for me.¡±


    ¡°Better than giving your body Cerberus? For giving you a second chance at life?¡±


    ¡°A hundred times better,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯ve always been one of my greatest friends, Liara. Don¡¯t you ever forget that.¡±


    She smiled. ¡°I won¡¯t, Shepard. I won¡¯t.¡±


    Soon, her order arrived, a small mug of instant coffee, and she took a sip of it. ¡°So¡­Garrus told me that you¡¯re writing a book, Shepard, one that might change the course of galactic history for centuries to come.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know whether or not it will do that,¡± he said, ¡°but yes, I am writing a book. Before I tell you what it¡¯s about though, I¡¯d better give you some context.¡±


    He cleared his throat, then told her every detail about his actions on the Crucible, along with their consequences. When he finished, Liara looked blankly at the floor, as though in utter disbelief.


    ¡°Shepard, this¡­this is monumental. If something like it were on my conscious, I don¡¯t think I¨C¡±


    He held up his hand. ¡°It¡¯s okay. Thanks to Tali, I¡¯m well down the path to recovering from this, but not completely.¡± Momentarily, he broke eye contact and gulped. ¡°To truly find peace, I need everyone to know that the Catalyst is wrong, that its solution flawed, and that synthetics can coexist with organics.¡± Leaning forward, he put his hands on the table. ¡°The quarians and the geth were living proof of that.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, they were,¡± Liara said. She finished off her coffee. ¡°And I have no doubt they will be again. As soon as possible Shepard, send me all of your work. Once it¡¯s done, there are many, many ruling matriarchs that would be ecstatic to champion your cause.¡±


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± he said. ¡°This means a lot to me, Liara.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s what friends are for,¡± she said, checking the time on her omni-tool. ¡°Anyways, I¡¯d better get going. If I¡¯m not mistaken, I think Joker should be arriving soon. You said you wanted to talk to him privately, correct?¡±


    He nodded. ¡°Correct.¡±


    She stood up from her seat, then extended her hand for a handshake. He shook it. ¡°Then I wish you and Tali the best. We¡¯ll stay in touch.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, we will,¡± he said.


    And then Liara left the camp Bar and Cafe. When she did, he closed his eye, then took a deep breath. He checked the time on his omni-tool, and Joker would arrive in about thirty minutes. In the meantime, he closed his eye and reclined into his seat, listening to the tune in the background, as he waited for Joker to arrive.


    ***


    Around half an hour later, Joker finally arrived, wearing his cap, and his Alliance fatigues. Under those fatigues, his favorite pilot was also wearing a medical exoskeleton to aid his mobility.


    He waved at him. ¡°Joker. Joker, over here.¡±


    Joker spotted, then approached him. ¡°Ah, there you are Command¨CI mean Admiral. Jeez, it¡¯s been a while, hasn¡¯t it?¡±


    He scratched his cheek. ¡°Yeah, I guess it has been a while. But anyways, there¡¯s no need to call me by any titles anymore. I¡¯m a civilian now, remember?¡±


    Joker let out a nervous chuckle. ¡°Well, I guess old habits die hard. You know, even with Ashley in charge now, the Normandy , it¡­it doesn¡¯t feel the same. It¡¯s almost impossible to imagine it as anything but your ship, or anybody you as my CO.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said, ¡°I guess you¡¯re right.¡±


    ¡°Anyways,¡± Joker said, ¡°what¡¯s this about? Why bring me here?¡±


    Briefly, he broke eye contact, scratching the stubble on his cheek. ¡°Yes¡­uhm¡­about that,¡± he gulped, then took a deep breath. His heart raced. He started to sweat. This was it. He would not delay this any longer. ¡°I have something to tell you. It¡¯s¡­It¡¯s about EDI.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Joker said. Looking at the floor, Joker pursed his lips, then gulped. ¡°So I guess you know what happened to her.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°but before I tell you, I think it¡¯s best if you had some¡­context.¡±


    Joker tilted his head. ¡°Context? What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±


    He exhaled. Now or never. He told him every detail about his experience on the Crucible, along with his actions and their consequences. The whole time, Joker remained silent, his face blank.


    When he finished recounting his experiences, he paused. A painfully long silence ensued. Then finally, Joker exhaled.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Joker said, ¡°let me guess this straight.¡± Joker gulped, then pursed his lips, his eyes wet with tears. ¡°Are you telling me that you willingly sacrificed EDI to destroy the Reapers?¡±


    He took a deep breath. Say it! Just say it! ¡°Yes.¡±


    Tears streamed down Joker¡¯s cheeks. Joker pinched the bridge of his nose, wiping them away, then slid his hand down his face. In Joker¡¯s eyes, he found nothing but pain.


    ¡°Joker, I¡­I know that¨C¡±


    ¡°Please, just¡­¡± Joker interrupted. He looked at the ground, then sniffled.  ¡°I¡­¡±


    He looked at the ground, and a cold, terrible raced through his insides. Yes, he should have expected this to happen. Joker had been among those few who stayed beside him through everything. And how did he repay him?


    By using his lover as a sacrificial lamb.


    Now, he would just have to accept that he didn¡¯t deserve Joker¡¯s friendship.


    Joker took a deep breath, then wiped away more of his tears. ¡°I guess I had this coming. I should have known this would come back to bite me in the ass.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± Did Joker hate him? What was he talking about? ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    ¡°First, I got you killed over Alchera,¡± he said. He sniffled. ¡°You never blamed me for it. You always treated me with respect, like an equal, not some damn cripple. And how did I repay you?¡± Joker pinched the bridge of his nose, then let out a few quiet sobs. He sniffled, then exhaled. ¡°I left you to die on the Citadel, that¡¯s what! I¡¯m a coward, Commander. I¡¯m a coward that just had to follow orders.¡±


    Joker covered his face with one hand, then burst into a fit of quiet sobs.


    ¡°Hey,¡± he said softly. He put one hand on Joker¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Joker. Joker look at me.¡±


    He glanced to his left, and the few people in the bar were staring at him and Joker. Let them. Their opinions meant nothing.


    ¡°I could have saved you, Commander,¡± Joker said, his voice choked with emotion. ¡°It¡¯s¡­It¡¯s my fault that Tali almost went crazy. If-If only¨C¡±


    ¡°Joker!¡± he snapped, and Joker stopped crying. Joker lowered his hand and looked him in the eye.


    Giving Joker strong eye contact, he leaned forward, gently gripping his shoulder. ¡°Look¡­¡± He gulped, then exhaled. ¡°I know that you hate yourself for what you did, and feel like you don¡¯t deserve an apology. But trust me when I say that more self-loathing is not going to help.¡± Briefly, he broke eye contact. ¡°I¡¯ve been where you are, and it only makes everything worse.¡±


    ¡°Then how do you deal with it?¡± Joker asked. ¡°How do you forgive yourself?¡±


    For a moment, he broke eye contact and paused. What answer would help Joker best? Briefly, he looked back to his experience on the Crucible, to how the guilt and shame of his actions had gnawed away at his mind, until he couldn¡¯t ignore or suppress them any longer. He met Joker¡¯s gaze once more. ¡°By accepting that you can¡¯t change the past. By owning your mistakes and learning to live with their consequences.¡±


    ¡°You make it sound easy.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± he said firmly. ¡°It¡¯s one of the hardest things anyone can do.¡± He sighed. ¡°But in your case, and mine, it becomes so much easier if you realize that your options were limited. Nobody knew what the Crucible even did, Joker. From the very beginning, it was a desperate gamble with little chance of success. For all we know, the blastwave could have destroyed every ship in its path. Obeying orders was the right call.¡±


    Joker looked at the ground and sniffled. He wiped away his tears.


    ¡°So whether you accept this or not,¡± he continued, ¡°I want you to know that I¡¯m sorry. I¡­I never imagined that I would ever do something this horrible to you.¡± He pursed his lips, then clenched his jaw. ¡°But as I said, I can¡¯t change the past. And I''m going to own and accept the consequences of my actions.¡± He took a deep breath. ¡°If you hate me for taking EDI away from you, and can never forgive me¡­I understand. You have every right to feel that way. I¡­I don¡¯t deserve your friendship.¡±


    For a moment, Joker paused, looking pensive, as if processing his words. Finally, he exhaled. ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie, Commander. I¡­I am so mad at you.¡± He sniffled. ¡°A part of me wants to believe that there¡¯s something you could have done to save her. But I know that¡¯s bullshit. You had no choice and¡­as hard as this is to admit, you made the right call.¡±


    He gasped, and a cool, blissful sensation coursed through him. His limbs felt lighter, and momentarily, he smiled. ¡°So you¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t hate you,¡± Joker said. ¡°I could never hate you, really. You were the best damn CO I ever could have hoped for, and at least¡­¡±


    ¡°At least what?¡±


    ¡°At least EDI didn¡¯t die for nothing,¡± Joker said. ¡°At least she died so that all of us could live, right? To destroy the Reapers once and for all.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°she¡¯s a martyr, Joker. A god damn hero. Don¡¯t you ever forget that.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± Joker said. Momentarily, he smiled, then wiped his tears. ¡°You can be damned sure of that.¡±


    Just then, Joker¡¯s omni-tool beeped. Joker opened up a window on it.


    ¡°Something up?¡±


    Joker smiled, then closed his omni-tool. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s¡­it¡¯s nothing, Commander, just a silver lining to all the shit that¡¯s been happening recently.¡±


    ¡°A silver lining?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± Joker said. Joker gulped, then cleared his throat, ¡°during our SR-1 days, I made really, really good friends with this one girl on Galaxy of Fantasy. Up until the Reapers arrived, we always played together. Often, we¡¯d video-chat, and many times we even met in person, whenever you gave us shore leave on the Citadel.¡± Joker broke eye contact. Momentarily, he scowled and clenched his fists. ¡°It really sucked when she finished her pilgrimage and¨C¡±


    ¡°Wait, wait, wait,¡± he said, holding up his hand. ¡°Her pilgrimage? Are you saying she¡¯s a quarian?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Joker said, ¡° she is.¡± He laughed. ¡°You know, once she even told me that you helped her.¡±


    He tilted his head. ¡°I did?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Joker said. He smiled. ¡°Apparently, this volus accused her of stealing his credit chit and¨C¡±


    Alarm bells practically rang in his mind. His jaw dropped, and his eyes went wide. ¡°Lia¡¯Vael?¡±


    ¡°Ah, so you did help her,¡± Joker said. Joker smiled and momentarily looked at the ground. ¡°What a small galaxy we live in.¡± Joker cleared his throat. ¡°So tell me, did that C-sec officer really start shaking? Did that volus¨C¡±


    He held up his hand. ¡°It all worked out in the end. That¡¯s all you need to know.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°So I take it she¡¯s alive?¡±


    ¡°She is,¡± Joker said, smiling. ¡°During the war, the servers for the game went down, and nobody could really video chat, so I wasn¡¯t sure if she¡¯d made it. But she did. She¡¯s here on Earth right now, working as a shuttle pilot for the Migrant Fleet, and yesterday we spent a lot of time catching up.¡± Joker chuckled. ¡°Even now, she still calls me by this¡­this funny Khelish word.¡± Joker scratched his beard, and for a moment, he looked pensive. ¡°Now, was it insil? Enzel? Inzel? Or¨C¡±


    ¡° Inszel?¡±


    Joker¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s it.¡±


    Covering his face, he started laughing. Joker had no idea what opportunity was within his grasp.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Joker said, a hint of frustration in his voice, ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡±


    He met Joker¡¯s gaze. ¡°Joker, do you have any idea what that word means?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Joker said, tilting his head. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Well let¡¯s just say,¡± he said, ¡°that if she¡¯s still calling you that, she sees you as far more than just a friend.¡±


    Joker¡¯s mouth fell open. Joker¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°Wait, so¡­¡± Briefly, Joker looked away and gulped. ¡°She likes me?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Joker stared at the ground, looking as though he was processing what he just heard. ¡°Wow, this is¡­¡± Joker shook his head. ¡°I¡­I never thought that¨C¡± Joker gulped. ¡°Just¡­wow¡­¡±


    ¡°Stay in contact with her,¡± he said, ¡°and this just might lead to interesting places. Well, that¡¯s assuming you feel the same way, and that you¡¯re okay with the fact that quarians pair bond for life.¡±


    ¡°For life?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said, leaning forward, ¡°for life. To them, soulmates are real.¡±


    Joker let out a nervous laugh, still looking at the ground. ¡°So that¡¯s why you and Tali are so inseparable.¡± Joker took a deep breath, then looked him in the eye. ¡°This¡­this is great news, Commander, the best I¡¯ve heard in a while. It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just what?¡±


    Joker exhaled. ¡°I think I still need some more time to get over EDI, and to think about this, really. To be honest, I don¡¯t know if I can handle something so deep and intimate. I mean¡­what if I don¡¯t measure up.¡±


    ¡°I know what you¡¯re saying,¡± he said. ¡°To us, love can be a very fragile, fleeting thing. And to be honest, I had the same doubts when Tali confessed how she really felt about me. But you know what I did?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°In spite of the fear,¡± he said, ¡°I dove in anyway, and did whatever I could to be the lover she deserves. Life is too short and precious to waste great opportunities, Joker. Wait too long to seize them, and they¡¯ll only slip from your grasp.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Joker said, ¡°I guess your right.¡± Joker took a deep breath. ¡°I don¡¯t know. We¡¯ll see, Commander. But if this actually goes somewhere, I¡¯ll be sure to stay in touch with you. After all, you just might be humanity¡¯s greatest expert on dating quarians.¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°You have my extranet address. So if you ever have questions, don¡¯t hesitate to contact me.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t, Commander,¡± Joker said. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±


    Just then, his omni-tool beeped. He opened it up, and in his inbox, he spotted an unread message from Tali.


    Keelah, just got back from the Kelek¡¯miin. Where are you, John? I have a surprise for you.


    Smiling, he typed out his reply.


    Just finished talking with Liara and Joker. On the way back now. Sit tight, love. I can¡¯t wait to see what¡¯s this surprise.


    He closed his omni-tool. ¡°Anyways Joker, I¡¯d better get going.¡± He stood up and extended his hand for a handshake. Joker accepted it. ¡°Tali just got back from orbit. Apparently, she has a surprise for me.¡±


    Joker chuckled. ¡°You go and enjoy it, Commander. We¡¯ll stay in touch.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, we will,¡± he said. ¡°Indeed, we will.¡±


    He grabbed his cane, then left the Camp Bar and Cafe, out into winter air. He headed back to his apartment in hab-block E-45, and with every step, his boots crunched on the snow blanketing the ground. An ice-cold breeze stung his cheeks. Thank god, he was wearing his winter coat.


    Soon, he arrived at his apartment, standing just outside the door. With his omni-tool, he turned off his translator.


    Over the past month, he had been practicing his Khelish with Tali, and Tali had been practicing her English with him. Yes, if he was going to live amongst the quarian people, then he should at least master their language and customs. It was the respectful thing to do.


    And one day, it would tear down the last barrier between him and his beloved.


    Finally, the door opened with a metallic whine, and he stepped inside and spotted Tali by the circular table at the center of the room. On it, a plate of hot food lay across from a tube of nutrient paste.


    His gaze met Tali¡¯s, and her eyes widened.


    ¡° Yahn ,¡± she said. ¡°Welcome. I make food. Come. Come sit. We eat.¡±


    He loved the sound of her natural voice. Soft, delicate, and lyrical, it sounded even more beautiful and exotic than how she sounded with a translator.


    He looked at the dish she¡¯d made him, an overcooked steak of cloned meat, along with some overboiled broccoli, carrots, and brussel sprouts. He let out a weak laugh and couldn¡¯t stop smiling. A warm, fuzzy sensation bloomed in his chest. Yes, she might not have the best cooking skills, but god, was this a sweet, thoughtful gesture. His heart melted, and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around her in a big, fat hug.


    He pointed at the dish. ¡°This. You make?¡± he asked in Khelish.


    She began to wring her hands. ¡°This first time try. Flotilla no have food making.¡±


    ¡°Cooking,¡± he corrected.


    He went back to speaking Khelish. ¡°This correct word.¡±


    ¡°Yes, khooking ¡­¡± For a moment, she broke eye contact and looked as though she was struggling to think of the right word. Once more, she met his gaze. ¡° Khooking not good. Make too much waste.¡± She looked at the ground. ¡°Keelah, I¡­I hope you enyoy .¡±


    He came over and embraced her in a warm, tight hug. She returned the gesture with just as much affection. And a few seconds later, he gently pulled away, holding her close with one hand on the small of her back.


    He pointed at the dish. ¡°This beautiful.¡± He cupped the back of her neck, then gave her a quarian kiss. ¡°Thank you, saera. This make me very happy.¡±


    He kissed her visor, and she giggled. Her body loosened up. She grabbed his hand, then lead him towards the table. ¡°Come. Sit.¡±


    He sat at the table, and she sat across from him. Immediately, he started eating. The meat was too salty and as tough as a krogan¡¯s hide. The vegetables were mushy and bland. But nonetheless, he relished every bite. It¡¯s the thought that counts.


    Tali audibly chewed on some of her nutrient paste. ¡°Food. Is good?¡±


    During his earliest days in the Alliance, and his N7 training, he had often eaten the most disgusting things imaginable, like roasted bugs and rats. Compared to such ¡®survival food¡¯, this dish was practically a gourmet meal at some fancy restaurant on Illium or Berkenstein. He swallowed his current bite, then smiled. ¡°This very good. Future. I do same for you.¡±


    She laughed. ¡°This nice. This very nice.¡± She let out a contented sigh. ¡°Liara and Yoker . You talk. There much learning? Now, you¡­¡± Again, she seemed to struggle to find the right words. ¡°You feelings good? Need talk?¡±


    He sighed, then opened up his omni-tool, turning on his translator. ¡°Translator. Need translator.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± she said, ¡°okay.¡±


    She opened up her omni-tool and did the same. ¡°John? John, can you understand me?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said, ¡°I can understand you.¡±


    ¡°So how was my Inglish? ¡± she asked. ¡°Getting any better?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re learning English a lot faster than I¡¯m learning Khelish,¡± he said. He let out a weak laugh. ¡°Just now, your pronunciation was almost perfect, but your grammar still needs a lot of work.¡± He pursed his lips. ¡°What about me though?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re doing great, John,¡± she said. ¡°In just one month, you¡¯ve learned how to speak Khelish as well as any toddler. Your accent though¡­¡± She giggled.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with my accent?¡±


    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯ll never tire of hearing your natural voice. It sounds¡­different, not like any quarian, but in a good way. It¡¯s so deep, so commanding, and so pleasing to my senses. Like music.¡±


    He raised his eyebrows. ¡°Oh, really now?¡± He grinned. ¡°Well, I could easily say the same thing about you, Mrs. Shepard.¡±


    She laughed. ¡°You always sweet-talk me. Never stop.¡±


    ¡°Of course, I¡¯ll never stop,¡± he said. He took another bite of his food, then cleared his throat. ¡°But anyways, about Liara and Joker. I have quite a lot to say.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said. ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± he said, ¡°Liara was more than happy to help promote my work to all Asari.¡± He took another bite, then swallowed. ¡°And she also agreed to show me years'' worth of your memories, all within the span of a few minutes.¡±


    ¡°Keelah, so¡­¡±


    ¡°I felt and saw everything,¡± he said, sawing through his steak with his table knife, ¡°from when we first met on the Citadel, all the way until that intervention Garrus staged to save you from yourself.¡±


    ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°And now I know how you really feel about me,¡± he said. Momentarily, he smiled. ¡°To say it¡¯s beautiful and overwhelming wouldn¡¯t do it justice because honestly¡­well¡­¡± He scratched the side of his head and looked at the ground. Again, he looked at her. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say, other than that I¡¯m the luckiest man in the galaxy.¡±


    She reached across the table and held one of his hands. She gave it a light squeeze. ¡°John, I¡­¡± Momentarily, she looked at the ground. ¡°I can¡¯t tell you how comforting and reassuring it is to know that you truly understand what it¡¯s like to be caught in Silz¡¯asul Felz . But¡­¡±


    ¡° Felz¡¯elt? ¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, tightening the grip on his hand. ¡°Are you okay? I know that you¡¯re no stranger to pain. But you never had to¨C¡±


    ¡°Sssh,¡± he said, putting one finger on her vocalizer. ¡°I know you¡¯re going to say. You¡¯re going to say that I¡¯ve suffered enough for you, that we should just forget and move on from what you suffered on that uncharted world. But please¡­believe me when I say that I had to do this. If Garrus, Liara, Ashley, Ken, Gabby, and Adams willingly suffered so that you wouldn¡¯t feel so alone, then there¡¯s is no way I won¡¯t do the same. It¡¯s¡­¡± Momentarily, he looked at the ground. He pursed his lips.


    ¡°It¡¯s what?¡±


    Again, he looked at her. ¡°It¡¯s what your saera should do. And besides, you were there for me when my actions on the Crucible became¡­too much. It¡¯s only fair.¡±


    ¡°Oh, John, I¡­¡± she said. She exhaled. ¡°Keelah, thank you. A thousand times, thank you. But please, from now on, know that you don¡¯t have to suffer any more for me. I think we¡¯ve both been through enough pain.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, we have,¡± he said, squeezing her hand. ¡°Indeed, we have.¡±


    For the next few minutes, he ate his food in silence, and so did Tali.


    ¡°So,¡± he said eventually. He finished off the last of his food. ¡°Is everything ready for our departure tomorrow?¡±


    She finished off her tube of nutrient paste. ¡°Oh, yes, everything is ready. I¡¯ve made all the necessary arrangements for you and Kasumi¡¯s food, clothing, and other essentials.¡± She let out a weak laugh. ¡°Just hours ago, I also had a talk with Admiral Korris, and he told me that our house is ready.¡± She laughed, hardly able to contain her excitement. ¡°Can you believe it, John? It¡¯s ready. He even sent pictures.¡±


    He raised his eyebrows. ¡°He did?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she almost shouted. She opened up her omni-tool, then showed him the pictures of their new home, a modest beachside residence with two floors and three bedrooms. Apparently, it was close to a spaceport, where it would be easy to secure his regular shipments of levo food.


    ¡°Wow,¡± he said. He let out a weak laugh. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful. I¡¯m surprised it¡¯s so¡­¡±


    ¡°So big?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Zal told me that he and most of the Conclave are eager and happy to have you on Rannoch,¡± she said, ¡°that our ¡®union¡¯ would be a great boon to human-quarian relations, and that your leadership skills and military experience make you an invaluable asset to the quarian people, somebody who could become one of their greatest advisors or diplomats. It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°I take it there¡¯s a catch.¡±


    She let out a frustrated sigh. ¡°Yes. There is. When we arrive at Rannoch, our bond will be tested, again¡­in front of every Clan Master.¡±


    His eyes went wide. ¡°In front of every Clan Master?¡± He shook his head. ¡°God, was Shala¡¯s word not enough?¡±


    ¡°Apparently not,¡± she said bitterly.


    ¡°Why do they care?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, honestly,¡± she said. She sighed. ¡°Maybe some find it impossible to believe that a human could feel something akin to Silz¡¯asul Felz , that you could never measure up to a quarian male.¡±


    ¡°Then let them test me,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll pass and prove all of them wrong.¡±


    ¡°I have no doubt you will,¡± she said. She let out a contemptuous laugh. ¡°Keelah, when you do, perhaps you¡¯ll force them to come up with laws and regulations in case more human-quarian bonds happen in the future.¡±


    ¡°Oh, speaking of that,¡± he said. ¡°I have some very interesting news.¡±


    She tilted her head. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Do you remember Lia¡¯Vael?¡±


    She laughed. ¡°How could I forget?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± he said, ¡°it turns out that she and Joker met each other on some extranet game called Galaxy of Fantasy, and became very good friends during our days on the SR-1. At the start of the Reaper War, Joker lost contact with her. But apparently, she¡¯s here on Earth, working as a shuttle pilot.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°Just yesterday, they reconnected, and guess what?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s still calling him inszel .¡±


    Tali¡¯s eyes widened, and she let out a faint gasp. Momentarily, she looked at the ground. ¡°I¡­I never would have guessed. How does Joker feel about this though? Is he aware of what that word means?¡±


    ¡°I told him,¡± he said. ¡°And yes, he feels the same way about her. It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just what?¡±


    ¡°That he¡¯s still in a lot of pain over what happened to EDI,¡± he said, ¡°and doesn¡¯t quite believe he can live up to what a saera is supposed to be.¡±


    ¡°If this is something Joker wants to pursue,¡± she said, ¡°then help him, John. He deserves to be happy, and it would be very tragic if he threw this opportunity away.¡±


    ¡°If he truly wants this,¡± he said, ¡°then I won¡¯t let him. It¡¯s the least I could do.¡±


    Tali checked the time on her omni-tool. ¡°Keelah, it¡¯s late. We¡¯ll be leaving with my auntie Raan in just seven hours.¡± She closed her omni-tool, then stood up. ¡°So better we get some rest.¡±


    He yawned. ¡°Yeah, sounds like a good idea.¡± He stood up. ¡°But first, let me change into something more comfortable.¡±


    He took off his coat, then pulled out a change of clothes from the foot locker at the end of the bed. He went inside the bathroom. And as he was changing, he couldn¡¯t help but notice how much thinner and softer he looked.


    He sighed.


    In his prime, before Project Lazarus, he had weighed a hundred kilograms of lean muscle and had the physical prowess of an Olympic athlete. But what was he now? He opened up an application on his omni-tool, which detailed his current health stats.


    He closed his eye, then exhaled through his nose.


    Now, he weighed just over eighty kilos, standing six-foot-three inches tall. Recovering from his injuries had eroded large chunks of his muscle mass. He gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw.


    Unacceptable.


    Yes. When he got to Rannoch, and was finally free of his damn cane, he would do what he could to stay fit and healthy. He would degenerate no further.


    Finally, he finished changing, then got into bed with Tali, covering them with the blanket. After turning off the lights, he spooned her. And eagerly, she nuzzled into him. Within minutes, she was singing her heelrou , and like always, it lulled him to sleep, filling his heart with a blissful calm.


    He closed his eye and took a deep breath. Yes, tomorrow would be the beginning of his new life. No matter the challenges that lay ahead, he would face them head-on. He would conquer them. And soon, the Reaper War would become little more than a distant memory, a bad dream.


    He smiled. Rannoch, here we come.

 Chapter 16

    On the Kelek¡¯miin, John Shepard walked down the hall leading straight to Admiral Raan¡¯s office.


    It had been three days since the ship had left the Sol system, along with countless other Migrant Fleet vessels. In just ten days, they would finally arrive at Rannoch.


    So better he finished this meeting as soon as possible.


    Hopefully, she¡¯ll have some answers. Soon, he arrived at the entrance to Shala¡¯s office, where two armed guards with red realks stood watch. One of them nodded, likely acknowledging something he¡¯d just heard on a private comm channel.


    ¡°Admiral Shepard.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Admiral Raan will see you now.¡±


    He nodded, then stepped into Shala¡¯s office. At her desk, she was typing on a haptic display, studying information on the three holo-screens before her.


    ¡°Ah, Shepard,¡± she said, closing them. ¡°Welcome. Have a seat.¡±


    He sat in the chair across from Shala¡¯s desk. ¡°Thank you for taking the time to arrange this meeting. We have much to discuss.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    He took a deep breath. ¡°Well, recently, on the night before our departure, Tali told me that once I arrive at Rannoch I¡¯ll have to prove my bond to her in front of every Clan Master.¡± He tilted his head. ¡°What happened, Shala?¡±


    Shala leaned back into her chair. ¡°Ancestors help me.¡± She sighed. ¡°Yes, before we left, Koris and I spent so much time arguing with the Conclave and the Clan Masters, trying to convince them that Tali¡¯s bond to you is real, and that your presence on Rannoch would be a great boon to the quarian people. But¡­¡±


    ¡°But your word was not enough?¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t,¡± Shala said, ¡°and neither was the recording I sent them of our conversation about human relationships.¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°Whilst most are indifferent or even supportive of your relationship with Tali, and can see its prospective political benefits, others, from the more ¡®conservative¡¯ clans, find the notion of a quarian bonding with an alien insulting.¡±


    He sighed. He should have expected this. ¡°Insulting?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Shala said. ¡°Insulting. They believe that non-quarians can never understand or feel anything like Silz¡¯asul felz, and that tolerating a ¡®false bond¡¯ for political gain would only be a stain upon every clan¡¯s honor ¨C an insult to the ancestors themselves.¡± She let out a frustrated sigh. ¡°Keelah, when I said that we can not allow ourselves to become friendless and hated like the batarians, they only said that aliens are unreliable allies, that we¡¯d only be repeating the mistakes of our ancestors if we ever depended too much on them.¡±


    Closing his eye, he took a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. The mistakes of your ancestors?¡±


    She leaned forward and put her hands on her desk. She huffed through her nose. ¡°Believe it or not, Shepard, the asari used to be our greatest friends. When we made first contact with them, they thrust our civilization into an age of unprecedented peace and prosperity.¡± She let out a sarcastic laugh. ¡°We were overjoyed to discover that they were so much like us, and that we could even bond with them. But oh, how things change.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°The Turian Hierarchy,¡± Shala said bitterly. ¡°That is what happened. When the turians became a major interstellar power, their first primarch did everything possible to halt our expansion, and to ensure that we would never gain a seat on the council.¡±


    He leaned forward, giving Shala strong eye contact. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because he foresaw us as a competitor for habitable worlds.¡±


    Momentarily, he looked at the ground. He gulped. ¡°I take it coexistence was impossible.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Shala said. ¡°Impossible. A terrible cross-species plague made the turians see us only as vermin. Constantly, our cultures clashed. And every year, tensions rose.¡± She let out a bitter laugh. ¡°Eventually, those tensions culminated into The Great Humiliation.¡±


    ¡°The Great Humiliation?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a war the council species would ever tell you about,¡± Shala said. ¡°To them, it is a brief, insignificant conflict that ended in a peace treaty, one barely worth mentioning in their historical records. To us, however, it marked the beginning of our decline, of when we became more and more isolationist.¡±


    ¡°And eventually created the geth?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Shala said. She sighed. ¡°Keelah, through it all, we expected the asari to do something to quell the rising tensions, to treat us fairly with the turians, and help all parties reach a reasonable compromise.¡± She let out a bitter laugh. ¡°But the turians were their new favorites.¡±


    ¡°And what happened when the Morning War broke out?¡±


    ¡°Exactly what you¡¯d expect,¡± Shala said bitterly. She growled. ¡°We begged and begged the asari for help. But they did nothing. They only lounged on their garden worlds, in their luxurious, shining cities ¨C giving us nothing but excuses!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s horrible.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, it is,¡± Shala said. ¡°After the Morning War, many clans began to wonder whether our future would have been brighter, had we never met another intelligent race, relying only on ourselves for our prosperity, our security, and our survival.¡±


    ¡°So if, hypothetically, humanity became a powerful, influential member-species of the Compact,¡± he said, ¡°the dominant race of the relay network, then are some afraid of what would happen if we ever betrayed or abandoned you?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Shala said. ¡°And many clans are still weary of your kind, Shepard. On one hand, humans have committed atrocities like the Idenna Massacre, and on the other, there are humans like you. Ancestors, humanity is so unpredictable.¡±


    ¡°Then why test my bond to Tali?¡±


    Momentarily, Shala looked at the ground. She exhaled. ¡°I must confess that I arranged it. When you prove that human-quarian bonds are truly possible, and that you can help us gain favor with humanity, you just might end the political deadlock on a number of issues.¡±


    ¡°You have a lot of confidence in me,¡± he said. Momentarily, he smiled. ¡°Thanks. I won¡¯t let you down.¡±


    ¡°I know you won¡¯t.¡±


    He cleared his throat. Now, what about the bonding ceremony? ¡°Anyways, there¡¯s something else that I¡¯ve been meaning to ask you.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°After I pass the test,¡± he said, ¡°I suppose that my bonding ceremony with Tali will be next. But what exactly will happen? Is there any etiquette or customs I should know about, any¨C¡±


    Shala held up her hand. ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that. I will conduct the bonding ceremony as soon as everything is in order. During it, all you¡¯ll have to do is exchange a few words with your lifemate, and present your pal¡¯tec vis surden. Compared to human mayruyez, quarian bonding ceremonies are much shorter and simpler.¡±


    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°That¡¯s good to know.¡±


    ¡°And as a formality,¡± Shala continued, ¡°both you and Tali will have witnesses to verify that your bonding is genuine. Kal¡¯Reegar has already agreed to be yours, but Tali¡­we¡¯ll have to see. After the test, I¡¯m sure somebody will agree.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure they will,¡± he said. He stood up. ¡°Well anyways, Shala, thank you for your time. But I¡¯d better get going.¡± So close to finishing the first draft. He touched his left shoulder with his right hand, the traditional quarian greeting. ¡°Keelah Sel¡¯ai.¡±


    Shala laughed and returned the gesture. ¡°Keelah Sel¡¯ai.¡±


    And then he left Shala¡¯s office. On the way to the crew deck, he checked the ship time on his omni-tool, and in about two hours, Tali would be done with her daily duties as an Admiral. She never seemed to like them. Every time she returned to their quarters, she always seemed so drained and exhausted. How long can she keep this up? He didn¡¯t know. Whatever happened though, one thing was certain:


    Whether she resigned as Admiral or not, he would always ease the stress of her burdens.


    <hr>


    On the crew deck, Tali¡¯Zorah walked down a hall, heading for Kasumi¡¯s quarters. Keelah, finally, her duties for the day were done. Soon, she¡¯d get to spend some time with John. But first, she¡¯d better check up on Kasumi.


    And ask her some long-due questions.


    Soon, she arrived just outside Kasumi¡¯s quarters. The door opened with a metallic whine, and she stepped inside and found Kasumi sitting cross-legged on her sleeping mat, reading a thick, dusty book.


    ¡°Kasumi?¡± she asked. ¡°What are you reading?¡±


    Kasumi closed the book. ¡°Tali. It¡¯s great to see you. Oh, I was just reading a classic of human literature ¨C an omnibus of The Lord Of The Rings .¡±


    She tilted her head. Why are humans so fascinated by rings? ¡°The Lord Of Rings ? Keelah, why write a story about the master of circular objects?¡±


    Kasumi burst out laughing.¡°It¡¯s Lord Of The Rings , silly. And it¡¯s about a lot more than just the master of a bunch of rings. No, It¡¯s about a group of friends who go on a long, dangerous quest to destroy a terrible object, the source of a¡­uhm¡­¡± Briefly, Kasumi looked away and gripped her chin, as if lost for words, before her eyes widened. ¡°An evil spirit. Yes, the source of an evil spirit¡¯s power.¡±


    ¡°Is it a ring?¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± Kasumi said. She laughed. ¡°What about your people, Tali? Do you have any great works of literature?¡±


    She sat beside Kasumi on the sleeping mat. Looking at the deck, she sighed. ¡°Most of our literature was lost during the Morning War. But a few works survived.¡±


    ¡°Oh really? Like what?¡±


    ¡°Like the Zendaerias , our greatest tale of love and war.¡±


    ¡°Ooooh,¡± Kasumi said, facing her. ¡°Tell me about it.¡±


    She took a deep breath. ¡°It¡¯s a story set during the quarian iron age about the power and beauty of Silz¡¯asul felz , about how it pushed one man to unite every clan south of the Krael empire, all to reclaim his lost kingdom and save his lifemate.¡±


    Kasumi leaned forward. ¡°Tell me everything.¡±


    She summarized the Zendaerias from beginning to end. The whole time, Kasumi listened to her carefully. And when she finished, Kasumi smiled.


    ¡°Sounds like Velana is the quarian Helen of Troy.¡±


    ¡°Helen of Troy?¡± Keelah, when she eventually mastered Inglish, she would definitely read all of these works of human literature. She shook her head. ¡°Anyways, Kasumi, how are you holding up? Again, I can¡¯t thank you enough for doing this.¡± Momentarily, she looked at the deck, then began wringing her hands. ¡°I know that quarian ships aren¡¯t the most comfortable, but¨C¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t say another word,¡± Kasumi said. ¡°I chose to be here, remember.¡± She let out a weak laugh. ¡°There¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to miss your bonding ceremony.¡±


    ¡°Oh, uhm¡­speaking of that,¡± she said. She gulped. ¡°There¡¯s something I¡¯ve been meaning to ask you.¡±


    ¡°Really now?¡± Kasumi asked. ¡°Well ask away. I¡¯m all ears.¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± she said, ¡°when we get to Rannoch, John and I will have to pass one last test to prove that our bond is real. After that, we¡¯ll likely have our actual bonding ceremony. It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just what?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to give him as a symbol of our bonding,¡± she said. ¡°I know that humans exchange rings during mayruyez , but that they''re usually made of metals and stones you consider to be valuable.¡± Momentarily, she looked at the ground. ¡°There¡¯s no way I can get him one.¡±


    Kasumi gently gripped her shoulder. ¡°Tali. I¡¯m sure Shep wouldn¡¯t care about having some fancy ring as a symbol of his bond to you. If anything, I bet he¡¯s worrying about the same thing ¨C about what he¡¯s going to get you .¡±


    ¡°I know, I know,¡± she said, looking at the deck. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­¡± She sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t want him to feel that he has to completely quarianize himself, that he has to abandon all of his human customs.¡±


    ¡°Tell me,¡± Kasumi said, ¡°instead of rings, what do quarians give each other at bonding ceremonies?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± Tali said, ¡°the man gives his lifemate a pal¡¯tec vis surden .¡±


    ¡°A what?¡±


    ¡°Roughly, it translates as ¡®symbol of souls united¡¯,¡± she said. ¡°I think the closest equivalent for humans would be a medallion.¡±


    Kasumi¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Oh. And where do you keep it?¡±


    With one hand, she touched her chest, where her heart would be. ¡°We keep them in special pouches on the inside of our suits. Usually, they¡¯re made of scrap metal, but there are jewelers amongst my people who turn such scrap metal into works of art.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s beautiful, Tali,¡± Kasumi said. Kasumi let out a weak laugh. ¡°Time and time again, you quarians prove to be the most romantic aliens in the galaxy.¡±


    She chuckled. ¡°Or maybe you humans are just love-starved.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we are,¡± Kasumi said, laughing. ¡°Maybe we are.¡± Kasumi cleared her throat. ¡°But here¡¯s an idea: why not make John a ring out of scrap metal?¡±


    Her eyes went wide. ¡°Make one myself?¡± She smiled, then began wringing her hands. She looked at the deck. ¡°Keelah, I¡¯m no artist, Kasumi.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be a work of art,¡± Kasumi said. ¡°I have no doubt that Shep will love it no matter how it turns out. You want to know why?¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because what that ring will represent,¡± Kasumi said, ¡°will make it more beautiful than any work of art in the galaxy.¡±


    She laughed. ¡°You really think so?¡±


    ¡°I know so,¡± Kasumi said. Kasumi leaned forward, then put one hand on her shoulder. ¡°So what are you waiting for? Get to work.¡±


    Smiling, she stood up. ¡°Thank you, Kasumi. I¡¯ll get started as soon as I can.¡±


    ¡°Take care, Tali,¡± Kasumi said. Kasumi let out a contented sigh, then continued reading her book.


    ¡°Take care.¡± With that, she left Kasumi¡¯s quarters, then headed to her own. Later, she would definitely search some of the waste bins for scrap metal. Even though she was no artist, she would do her best to make a ring that John deserved.


    <hr>


    On the crew deck, in quarters barely large enough for two people, John Shepard was sitting on his sleeping mat, typing away at his omni-tool, finishing the last paragraph of the first draft of his book. When he wrote the last sentence, he closed his eye, then let out a deep, contented sigh. A warm, blissful sensation rushed through him, and his limbs felt lighter.


    Finally, it was done.


    Now, with all the feedback he¡¯d received from so many, he only had to edit and redraft his work until he could make it no better. Such an effort might take him years. But nonetheless, in pouring out his thoughts and emotions, in recounting his life from his days on the SR-1 until the end of the Reaper War, he had cleansed his mind.


    Now, his guilt and shame were kept buried somewhere safe and secure.


    They would never threaten to destroy him again.


    Just then, the door opened with a metallic whine. And Tali stepped in.


    ¡°Keelah,¡± she said, ¡°there you are.¡±


    He stood up, then wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed her visor. ¡°Guess what?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I finished the first draft of my book.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s great, John,¡± she said. ¡°What are you going to call it?¡±


    ¡°Hhhm, not sure,¡± he said. ¡°Haven¡¯t given it much thought. But I¡¯ll think of something.¡±


    ¡°How about: Commentaries On The Last Reaper Cycle ,¡± she said. ¡°It sounds fitting for such a work.¡±


    ¡°I guess it does,¡± he said. Gently, he pulled away from her, then sat on his sleeping mat. He smiled. ¡°God, finishing my first draft, Tali¡­I can¡¯t describe how amazing it feels to have poured out all of my nastiest thoughts and emotions.¡± He laughed. ¡°I haven¡¯t felt this happy for so long.¡±


    ¡°Keelah, tell me about it,¡± she said, sitting right next to him. ¡°We only have one obstacle left to conquer, and then¡­¡± Momentarily, she looked at the deck and laughed. ¡°And then it will all be over. No more fighting. No more war. Just peace.¡±


    ¡°Oh, speaking of that obstacle,¡± he said, ¡°I just had a chat with your auntie a few hours ago. And she told me some¡­concerning news.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    ¡°Well, apparently,¡± he said, ¡°the Conclave and the Clan Masters have been arguing non-stop about our bond and its implications. Apparently, they¡¯re stuck in a political deadlock, divided into two camps.¡±


    ¡°What camps?¡±


    ¡°The first camp,¡± he said, ¡°are the progressive quarians who support our bond and think it¡¯s good for human-quarian relations.¡±


    ¡°And the second camp,¡± he continued, ¡°are the conservative quarians who see our bond as an insult to the ancestors themselves and think human-quarian relations are not worth improving because quarians should learn to rely only on each other, not aliens.¡±


    Tali scoffed. She clenched her fists, then growled. ¡° Fre¡¯eg eating bosh¡¯tets. ¡±


    ¡°I know, I know,¡± he said. ¡°In any case, I¡¯ll pass their stupid test, and show them I have no intention of being a burden to the quarian people.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be,¡± she said. ¡°Keelah, in time, I have no doubt that you¡¯ll become the Veil Republic¡¯s most honored alien citizen.¡±


    ¡°Only time will tell, love,¡± he said. ¡°Only time will tell.¡± He sighed, then checked the time on his omni-tool. They still had time for a language lesson, and then a vid afterward. ¡°Anyways, soon, it¡¯ll get pretty late. What do you say we have another language lesson, then watch a vid right after.¡±


    Meeting his gaze, she held his hand, then gave it a light squeeze. ¡°I¡¯d love that.¡±


    After a one-hour language lesson, he watched the romance vid From Lightyears Away with her. Barely half an hour in, she started singing her heelrou and cuddled into him. He smiled and wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her close.


    Yes, when he and his beloved got their house, he couldn¡¯t wait for the many nights they¡¯d spend cuddled together, watching vids on their couch. It was a luxury he never thought he¡¯d get to enjoy, but one he would never take for granted.


    One no mere test would take away from him.

 Chapter 17

    In a Migrant Fleet shuttle descending through Rannoch¡¯s clouds, John Shepard reclined into his seat, closed his eye, then took a deep breath through his nose. His limbs felt lighter, and a cool, blissful sensation rushed through his limbs.


    Yes, finally, he¡¯d arrived at his new home.


    Just one obstacle left¡­


    And then it would all be over.


    Sitting right beside him, Tali kept tapping her right foot against the deck, wringing her hands. Was she impatient, nervous, or both? She exhaled, then began tapping her foot faster.


    But then he put one hand on her thigh.


    Finally, she stopped tapping her foot. Her gaze met his, and then she held his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.


    He returned the gesture. ¡°Have a lot on your mind?¡±


    ¡°Oh, nothing. It¡¯s just¡­¡± She shook her head, then sighed. ¡°I just want the stupid test to be over with.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°You and me both.¡±


    Soon, the shuttle landed at the spaceport.


    ¡°Keelah, finally,¡± Tali said.


    Sitting across from him, Kasumi laughed. ¡°It¡¯ll be over before you know it, Tali. Just you wait.¡±


    With a click and a hiss, the shuttle¡¯s side door opened. And immediately, Rannoch¡¯s frigid, night-time air chilled his skin.


    With Tali and Kasumi in tow, he stepped outside the shuttle and onto the landing pad. Ahead, a quarian man with a blue realk and visor was waiting for them, clasping his hands behind his back. Next to the quarian man stood two armed guards with red realks and visors.


    ¡°Admiral John¡¯Shepard?¡± The quarian man said, looking at him. The quarian man looked at Tali. ¡°Admiral Tali¡¯Zorah?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡± she asked.


    ¡°I am Khaalu¡¯Shan vas Tonbay,¡± the quarian man said, ¡°adjutant of Admiral Zaal¡¯Koris, who has tasked me with settling you into your temporary lodgings, and with providing whatever you might need until your test tomorrow morning.¡± He turned. ¡°Follow me, please.¡±


    He nodded, then followed Khaalu into the spaceport. Within, throngs of quarians were just arriving, carrying rucksacks or pouches with what few personal possessions they had. Their chatter echoed through the air, loud enough to drown out his thoughts, and many of them, especially children, were staring at him with awe and wonder.


    He let out a weak laugh. I¡¯m probably the first human they¡¯ve ever seen.


    Unlike him, however, the crowds could hardly keep their eyes off Tali. Many kept whispering amongst themselves or started chanting her name, trying to get her attention.


    ¡°Well ain''t you the celebrity,¡± Kasumi told her.


    ¡°Keelah, this is¡­¡± Tali said. Looking at the ground, she sighed. ¡°Let¡¯s just keep going.¡±


    He grabbed her hand, and she held it tightly. She looked at him and nodded.


    Reading the slews of Khelish signs all around him, he noticed that they were heading towards an exit gate with shuttles leading to the town of Aelu¡¯Shalan . At every checkpoint, Khaalu showed the guards something on his omni-tool, letting them cut through numerous lines. And soon, they reached the exit gate.


    There, a shuttle was already waiting for them. Its door opened, and he got into the back seat, along with Tali and Kasumi. Once the guards left, Khaalu got into the front seat and sat next to the driver. Finally, the shuttle rose into the air and took off, heading towards Aelu¡¯Shalan.


    On the way there, he looked out the viewport, and in the distance, he spotted a sprawling cityscape of glittering, midnight-blue skyscrapers and buildings. Easily, the city rivaled Nos Astra in grandeur.


    ¡°Khaalu?¡± he asked. ¡°That city, are those ruins from the Morning War, or something the Geth had been maintaining?¡±


    ¡°That,¡± Khaalu said, ¡°is Catyn, Rannoch¡¯s old capital.¡±


    ¡°So the geth had been maintaining it, up until they went offline?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Khaalu said, ¡°though even now survey teams are still mapping it out, seeing which sections are suitable for habitation.¡±


    ¡°Suitable for habitation?¡±


    Khaalu sighed. ¡°Since the geth went offline, many sections have fallen into disrepair.¡±


    ¡°Has any of it been settled?¡± Tali asked.


    ¡°A few sections,¡± Khaalu said. ¡°The Conclave has moved their headquarters to the old Forum of the Ancestors, and the military, to the old planetary citadel. As for the remaining civilians, it will be a slow process, I¡¯m afraid. According to projections, it could take as long as three years to fully settle the city.¡±


    ¡°Keelah, three years?¡±


    Khaalu nodded. ¡°Moving millions of people, and all the necessary resources to the right locations, at the right times is a great logistical undertaking.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, it is,¡± he said. During the Reaper War, he¡¯d learned just how stressful and head-ache-inducing it was to manage supply lines, with scarce resources and crumbling infrastructure. ¡°Indeed, it is.¡±


    For the next few minutes, everyone remained silent.


    ¡°So Khaalu,¡± he said eventually, ¡°what exactly is our schedule looking like?¡±


    ¡°At Aelu¡¯Shalan ,¡± Khaalu said, ¡°you will settle into your temporary lodgings, which have already been prepared for your arrival. And then, in the morning, you will have your test in the Forum of the Ancestors.¡± Khaalu opened up his omni-tool, then input a few commands. ¡°I¡¯m sending you a detailed schedule now.¡±


    His omni-tool beeped, along with Tali¡¯s and Kasumi¡¯s. And in his inbox, he found files detailing exactly what Khaalu said. Apparently, their test would be late in the morning. Did he have enough time to pick up his pal¡¯tec vis surden ?


    Yes, the jeweler¡¯s coordinates were right in Aelu¡¯Shalan.


    But no, probably not.


    Once they arrived at the town, he¡¯d better pick it up immediately. But how could he do it discreetly?


    Ah, maybe Kasumi could help?


    Soon, out of the viewport, he spotted numerous towns, situated around Catyn¡¯s outskirts. At the center of each one was a landable civilian ship of the Migrant Fleet, surrounded by numerous hab-blocks.


    And eventually, the shuttle arrived at Aelu¡¯Shalan, landing on one of its landing pads. When it did, the side door opened. Then everyone stepped outside.


    Ahead, Aelu¡¯Shalan looked barely active, but its lights illuminated the nighttime darkness. Around him, the surrounding landscape was an arid steppe of shrubs and rocky outcroppings. And above, the sky was cloudy, with ships and shuttles flying through the air.


    ¡°This way,¡± Khaalu said.


    Again, he followed Kaalu, with Tali and Kasumi beside him, towards a hab-block near the town square. By the entrance, Khaalu stopped in his tracks, then faced him. Khaalu then opened up a window on his omni-tool, then began inputting various commands. ¡°I¡¯m sending you the key codes and locations of your rooms, along with my contact information. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call me.¡±


    He nodded. ¡°Understood.¡±


    Khaalu nodded, then left.


    He entered the hab-block, along with Tali and Kasumi, then went to the second floor. Soon, he found his room, which was right across from Kasumi¡¯s.


    With her omni-tool, Kasumi unlocked its door, then yawned. ¡°Well, I¡¯m going to wind down. Good night, you two.¡± She laughed. ¡°Don¡¯t stay up too late, now. You have a big day tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Good night,¡± he said, unlocking the door with his omni-tool. Once it opened, he and Tali stepped inside. Unlike their accommodations on the Kelek¡¯miin , the room was far more spacious, as large as their apartment back on Earth.


    Unlike any human apartment, however, the ¡®bed¡¯ was not a bed at all, but a circular, cushioned depression in the ground, covered in a blanket. Interesting. He pointed at it. ¡°Tali, is that the bed? If so, what do you call them?¡±


    Tali laughed. ¡°That¡¯s a k¡¯naaf , John. Before the Morning War, all quarians slept in them.¡±


    He smiled. ¡°Will we have one in our house? A k¡¯naaf? ¡±


    ¡°Of course, we will,¡± Tali said, giggling. ¡°Just wait. It¡¯ll be so much more comfortable than our old bed on the Normandy. ¡±


    Oh, I¡¯ll be the judge of that.


    ¡°You go ahead and relax,¡± he said. Now, where could he send messages to the jeweler and then Kasumi about the pal¡¯tec vis surden ? Their room had a tiny sanitation chamber near the far right corner. ¡°I just have to use the bathroom.¡±


    ¡°Go right ahead,¡± Tali said, as he entered the bathroom. He shut the door, then sat on the toilet and opened up a window on his omni-tool. To the jeweler, he typed out the following message.


    I¡¯ve just arrived at Rannoch. Your shop is only a ten-minute walk away from my current position. But could you send somebody to deliver it, at a specified location? I want to surprise my lifemate and can not retrieve it without arousing suspicion. So should you accept, somebody else ¨C another human ¨C will be there in my stead.


    The jeweler replied within seconds, and his eyes widened. The jeweler¡¯s message read:


    Dear Admiral Shepard,


    It is very endearing to know that you¡¯re doing this for your lifemate. So very well. Send me a location and I will send my assistant to deliver your pal¡¯tec vis surden.


    Smiling, he sent him a set of coordinates, which put the meeting place in an alleyway by the town square, then replied:


    Thank you a thousand times for this. Keelah Se¡¯lai


    Next, he sent the pickup coordinates and the following message to Kasumi:


    Dear Kasumi,


    Could you please go to this location and retrieve my pal¡¯tec vis surden? With it, I plan to surprise Tali but can¡¯t leave my room without her suspecting something. You¡¯d be doing me a huge favor.


    A few seconds later, Kasumi replied:


    Of course, I will Shep. Ha! You couldn¡¯t have asked a better person. So sit tight. While you¡¯re sleeping, I¡¯ll leave your litte package inside the pocket of your coat.


    He let out a weak laugh, then sent her the following message:


    Thank you. Just be careful not to wake us up.


    Finally, he closed his omni-tool, then left the sanitation chamber, only to find Tali standing before him, completely suitless.


    ¡°Tali, why are you¨C¡±


    Abruptly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, then pressed her lips to his in a deep, hungry kiss. Momentarily, his eyes widened and his body tensed. But then he leaned into the kiss, holding her close, with one hand on the small of her back, and the other between her shoulder blades. He huffed through his nose, and his every muscle relaxed as a blissful wave coursed through him.


    Oh, what a welcome surprise.


    She hummed into his mouth, twirling her tongue with his, before their lips eventually parted with an audible smack. She rested her forehead against his.


    ¡°Guess what?¡± she asked.


    He smiled. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Our room is airtight,¡± she said, ¡°and the ventilation system keeps pouring in decontaminants. Right now, this room is over eighty-five percent sterile.¡±


    ¡°So does that mean¡­¡±


    ¡°That we¡¯ll get to relieve some stress before the test tomorrow?¡± she asked, tilting her head. ¡°Yes.¡± She giggled, then kissed him again, letting out a pleased hum.


    Already, his heart was pounding, flooding his system with adrenaline, pumping blood to his manhood. Soon, she broke the kiss, then grabbed his hand, and lead him towards the k¡¯naaf . He smiled. Without access to a clean and private enough room, he and Tali hadn¡¯t made love in weeks.


    But oh, tonight was going to be fun.


    <hr>


    Tali¡¯Zorah awoke to Tikkun¡¯s morning rays pouring through the window. Laying right next to John, with her head on his chest, and with her legs intertwined with his own, she closed her eyes and basked in his warm body heart, savoring the feel of his skin against hers.


    She smiled. Keelah, last night, they had enjoyed four rounds of lovemaking before eventually falling asleep. The whole time, she had climaxed again and again. And now¡­


    She let out a contented sigh.


    Now, she wanted to wake up like this every day.


    For a while, she rested, but eventually, her thoughts drifted to the coming test. Yes, today, that test would determine the future of human-quarian relations, of whether humans and quarians would be allowed to bond with one another. When they passed, would she and John be the benchmark for all such relationships? Or would she and John be the first and last human-quarian couple to live together on Rannoch?


    Whatever the case, she wouldn¡¯t trade her current situation for anything.


    It was the closest thing she could imagine to paradise.


    Suddenly, John stirred. His good eye opened. And when he looked at her, he smiled.


    She let out a weak laugh. ¡°Sleep well?¡±


    ¡°Sure did,¡± he said. He repositioned himself so that his face was barely an inch from hers. With his thumb, he began stroking her cheek, then gave her a kiss on the lips. He rested his forehead against hers. ¡°For the first time in months, I actually had a good dream.¡±


    Her pulse climbed, and she couldn¡¯t stop smiling. ¡°That¡¯s amazing, John. What did you dream about?¡± Running her hand across his side, down onto his buttocks, she let out a pleased hum.


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    He smiled, then moved his head to whisper something in her ear. ¡°Our future.¡±


    She let out a weak laugh. Cupping the back of her neck, he once more pressed his lips to hers in a deep, slow kiss. Singing her heelrou , she leaned into it and slipped her tongue into his mouth. A warm, soothing sensation raced through her, and her heart pounded faster and faster.


    He rolled her onto her back, and she moaned as he began kissing her neck, her clavicle, and then her breasts. Soon, as he lavished her with affection, a wet heat sprouted between her legs, and he slid his manhood in between her folds. She gasped and threw her head back into the padding. Clinging to him, she gripped his ankles with her feet and began to sweat.


    With every one of his thrusts, her breathing grew faster and faster. Wave after wave of euphoria raced through her nerves, and the aching pressure in her loins grew ever closer to bursting into her climax.


    But then her omni-tool beeped.


    Somebody was calling her.


    She growled. Keelah, of all times, now she was receiving a call?


    John stopped thrusting. ¡°Should we¨C¡±


    ¡°No,¡± she said firmly. Abruptly, she grabbed his head, then pulled him in for a kiss. A few seconds later, their lips parted with an audible smack. ¡°Keep going.¡±


    He smiled, then continued thrusting. Meanwhile, her omni-tool kept beeping.


    Better finish this quickly. ¡°Faster, John,¡± she managed to say. ¡°Faster.¡±


    As soon as she said that, he let go of all restraint.


    Gasping and moaning, she could hardly breathe. Every second, her moans grew faster and louder.


    Until finally, she climaxed.


    Arching her back into him, she let out an ear-piercing wail, enraptured in a wave of euphoria. Soon, as she basked in the afterglow of her climax, John climaxed as well. And then they were laying atop each other, sweating and panting.


    ¡°John¡­¡± she said, trying to catch her breath, ¡°my glove. Hand me my glove.¡±


    He handed her the glove. After slipping it on, she looked at the caller ID, and it was her auntie. She answered it. ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Keelah,¡± her auntie said, ¡°what took you so long to answer? Oh, ancestors help me, were you still asleep? Today is not the day for¨C¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sleeping,¡± she said.


    ¡°You sound exhausted, child,¡± her auntie said. ¡°Is everything okay? Should I¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you at the Forum of the Ancestors shortly,¡± she said before ending the call.


    She relaxed into the padding, then exhaled. ¡°Keelah¡­¡±


    John let out a weak laugh. ¡°Guess we should get ready then.¡± He gave her one last kiss on the lips, then rolled off of her.


    They got out of the k¡¯naaf. Whilst she went to pick up the pieces of her suit, John was picking up his clothes. Briefly, she checked one of her suit¡¯s numerous pockets, and the ring she had made was still there. Keelah, it was so crude, like something a child had made. But hopefully, John would like it.


    After putting the ring back into the pocket, she began to put on her suit. As she did so, she couldn¡¯t help but admire her lifemate¡¯s body, staring at his tight, muscular glutes and thighs, along with his thin, toned waist which tapered up to his broad shoulders. He was much thinner now, and not as lean.


    But still, he was a site to behold.


    Soon, they were both dressed. John grabbed his cane. And then they left their room, going out into Aelu¡¯Shalan¡¯s avenues. Ahead, she spotted Khaalu waiting by a shuttle, clasping his hands behind his back.


    She and John approached him.


    ¡°Ready for the test?¡± Khaalu asked.


    ¡°We¡¯re as ready as we can possibly be,¡± John said.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°let¡¯s get this over with.¡±


    She got into the shuttle, along with John and Khaalu, and then it rose into the air and zoomed off towards Catyn. The whole ride, she stared out of the viewport, at the ancient city of her ancestors.


    Even now, she couldn¡¯t help but marvel at the glittering, midnight-blue skyscrapers and buildings, as marvelous as any such building on Illium or Thessia. Keelah, even with Rannoch returned to her people, it was still hard to imagine them living in such buildings. According to Aelina¡¯Zorah¡¯s commentaries on the Morning War, her ancestors had grown weak and decadent living so luxuriously.


    So would future generations do the same?


    Soon, the shuttle flew over an old government square. At its center, she spotted a towering statue of a quarian man and woman, holding Rannoch up high in their hands. Suitless, both were wearing ancient ceremonial robes of office.


    Squinting her eyes, and zooming in with her suit¡¯s visor, she studied the statue carefully. It was just over one-hundred and fifty meters tall, and¡­


    Keelah¡­


    ¡°John, look,¡± she said, ¡°it¡¯s a statue of Tross and Qalani¡¯Larrik.¡±


    ¡°The unifiers of your people?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, smiling. On the Kelek¡¯miin , John had taken the time to study quarian history, ¡°the mother and father of modern quarian civilization.¡± According to the histories, they founded this city about 2200 years ago, in the aftermath of the unification war. She let out a weak laugh. ¡°To think that their statue is still there, that I¡¯d get to see it in my lifetime. Ancestors, it¡¯s¡­¡±


    He held her hand and squeezed it gently. ¡°Surreal.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°like something out of a dream.¡±


    About one kilometer ahead of the statue, the Forum of the Ancestors dominated the horizon. Lozenge-shaped, it lay right at the heart of the city. There, shuttles were arriving or departing, and she marveled at how the morning sunlight glinted off the surfaces of the surrounding buildings.


    Keelah, it was so beautiful.


    Soon, the shuttle landed at one of the Forum¡¯s interior landing pads. The shuttle¡¯s side door opened. And then she stepped outside, along with John and Khaalu.


    ¡°Follow me, please,¡± Khaalu said.


    She nodded. And soon, Khaalu led them into the atrium. In it, bureaucrats and administrators were moving to and fro, and in the distance, she spotted her auntie and Admiral Zaal¡¯Korris chatting by a fountain.


    ¡°Go to them,¡± Khaalu said, ¡°they¡¯ve been waiting for you.¡±


    She approached them, with John in tow. ¡°Auntie?¡± she called out. ¡°Auntie, over here.¡±


    Her auntie looked at her, then approached. ¡°Ah, there you are, child. It¡¯s good to see you¡¯ve made it on time.¡±


    She gave her auntie a hug. ¡°Got here as fast as we could.¡±


    Zaal gave John a handshake. ¡°Welcome, Shepard. Welcome. I take it your accommodations were comfortable?¡±


    ¡°They were,¡± John said.


    ¡°Excellent,¡± Zaal said, ¡°and oh, congratulations on completing the first draft of your manuscript. I must say, so far, it has been a fascinating text. In the years to come, I think it¡¯ll do wonders towards bringing back the geth. Now, we need them more than ever to repair and maintain this city.¡±


    ¡°I can imagine,¡± John said. ¡°If there was any proof that the geth never hated you, this city is certainly it.¡±


    ¡°Very true,¡± Zaal said. Zaal cleared his throat, then checked the time on his omni-tool. ¡°Anyways, your test will be starting soon, in about seven minutes.¡± Zaal gestured for them to follow. ¡°Follow me.¡±


    She nodded, then followed Zaal towards the conference room. On the way, they passed throngs of bureaucrats and administrators, but soon they reached the conference room¡¯s entrance.


    Zaal turned and faced her. ¡°Just head inside.¡± Momentarily, Zaal looked at the ground. Zaal took a deep breath. ¡°Not that you¡¯ll need this, but¡­may the ancestors bless you with good fortune.¡±


    She touched her left shoulder with her right hand. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    And then she and John stepped into the conference room. Within, armed guards escorted them down a short hallway, into a small amphitheater-like enclosure in which every Clan Master, every senior member of the Conclave, was sitting along three tiers of seats. At the very back, she spotted the current Prime Speaker, the Veil Republic''s head of state, Iratano¡¯Khairun vas Armanos, who was wearing a gold realk and visor. Above, she spotted a holo-projector attached to the dome-like ceiling.


    When they reached the center of the room, more armed guards surrounded her and John, blocking the only escape route. Her pulse climbed. What was going on? Why were these guards surrounding them?


    ¡°So the alien finally arrives with his pet,¡± said Erukhan¡¯Zorah vas Jhaitan, the master of her own clan. Tall and elderly, he had a gravelly but commanding voice. Erukhan looked at her. And inwardly, she cringed. Erukhan used to be one of her father¡¯s only friends. ¡°Have you no shame, girl? No love for your clan? Become an alien¡¯s slave? Bah! You bring Hrarxa upon us all.¡±


    Clenching her jaw, she huffed through her nose and balled her fists. An alien¡¯s pet? How dare he talk to her that way! Growling, she was about to retort.


    But then John closed his eye, then took a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m sad you feel that way, Clan Master. You see, I never imagined that the head of Clan Zorah ¨C the clan who kept the quarian people united after Clan Larrik¡¯s destruction ¨C would stoop to making childish insults, or to disrespecting the greatest Zorah since your clan¡¯s founder herself .¡± John sighed, then looked at the ground. ¡°But it seems that I was wrong.¡±


    The Clan Masters began whispering amongst themselves, and Erukhan gripped the arms of his chair tightly, glaring at John.


    John swept his gaze across the Clan Masters. ¡°Tell me, is this what quarian leadership has become? Is this the best I can expect from you?¡± John let out a frustrated sigh. ¡°So disappointing.¡± John shook his head. ¡°Anways, we¡¯re here for your test. Ask your questions.¡±


    The Master of Clan Vael, Aratia¡¯Vael vas Entaaba, cleared her throat. ¡°We¡¯ll get to them. But first, tell me, human, are you familiar with the laws that govern all intelligent species?¡±


    Her eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open. WHAT? Keelah, why ask such a question? How was it relevant to their bond?


    ¡°Yes,¡± John said.


    ¡°Then you should know,¡± Aratia said, ¡°that any species, if forced to choose between its survival, and that of another, will choose its own without hesitation.¡± She leaned forward. ¡°Yes, how strange that you ¨C a human ¨C willingly chose to live on a planet full of quarians. To most species, such behavior is madness. So how can we be sure that you¡¯re not a spy? Hhhm?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± said the Master of Clan Gerrel, Vorun¡¯Gerrel vas Ghoro.  ¡°Why should we not arrest and then interrogate you? After all, at one point, you did work for Cerberus.¡±


    Just then, the guards surrounding them released the safeties on their weapons. One brought out a pair of handcuffs.


    For a moment, time seemed to play out in slow motion. No, this couldn¡¯t be happening. After everything she and John had been through, had this ¡®test¡¯ actually been a trial all along?


    Within her, something snapped.


    ¡°You fre¡¯eg eating bosh¡¯tets! ¡± she shouted, and everyone in the room recoiled. Sweeping her gaze over the Clan Masters, she started pacing around, her heart thrashing in her chest, her breathing growing faster and faster. Where was her auntie? Where was Zaal? Yes, something was wrong. None of this was adding up. Not even the most xenophobic Clan Masters would ever make such insane accusations! Never! ¡°What is the meaning of this?!  Do you not hear yourselves?! Why would¨C¡±


    John held up his hand to hush her.


    ¡°John, what are you¡­¡±


    Briefly, John looked at her and winked.


    Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then reigned in her emotions as best she could. Very well, John. I trust you.


    Momentarily, John looked at the ground, then exhaled. ¡°Clan Masters. Yes, it''s true that I worked for Cerberus. After my first death, they resurrected me with Reaper technology in Project Lazarus, then sponsored my mission to rid the galaxy of the Collectors, who were abducting entire human colonies.¡± John opened a window on his omni-tool. ¡°I cut ties with them as soon as I was able. But if you want, I could send any of you the files on Project Lazarus, along with detailed logs of my mission. I¡¯m sure you¨C"


    The Master of Clan Reegar, Jhora¡¯Reegar vas Neema, cleared his throat. ¡°That will not be necessary, Admiral Shepard.¡±


    John closed his omni-tool. ¡°Very well.¡± He let out a weak laugh. ¡°If I am a spy, Clan Masters, then I must be the worst one in the galaxy. Tell me, what kind of operative would have willingly given you the Reaper IFF, so you could access a treasure trove of salvage? What kind of operative would have willingly given you files detailing Mordin Solus¡¯ treatment for your immune systems, along with data from the Collector base? Would I have even bothered to return those quarian tablets I found in Donavan Hocks'' mansion?¡±


    ¡°Bah!¡± Vorun scoffed, looking at her. ¡°Those could easily have been just ploys to gain our trust.¡±


    ¡°HOW DARE YOU!¡± she shouted, pointing at Vorun. Without thinking, she tried to get in that piece of fre¡¯eg¡¯s face, but two guards held her back. Again, she swept her gaze all around, glaring at all the Clan Masters. ¡°After everything John has done for the quarian people, this is how you treat him?! By dismissing his contributions as¡­as PLOYS to gain our trust? NO! This is madness!¡± She let out a throaty growl. Her hands began to tremble, and hot tears ran down her cheeks.


    Keelah, was this a nightmare?


    Was she losing her mind?


    Or was this all some sick joke?


    She pointed at where the Masters of Clans Raan, Reegar, Koris, and Nara were sitting. ¡°AND YOU! Why are none of you saying anything? Have his deeds counted for NOTHING?¡±


    A dreadfully long silence ensued.


    She let out an animal growl. ¡°Perhaps¡­¡± She let out a loud sob. ¡°Perhaps the council species were right! Perhaps the Geth were right! Perhaps we never deserved to have Rannoch back! Perhaps¨C¡±


    ¡°Tali!¡± John snapped.


    She looked at him. ¡°But John, they¡¯re¨C¡±


    Without warning, he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her close. ¡°I¡¯ll handle this, saera, ¡± he whispered into the audio receptor of her helmet. ¡°Just trust me, okay.¡±


    Panting, she nodded. Yes, there was nobody she trusted more. ¡°Okay¡­Okay¡­¡±


    He gave her a quarian kiss, then once more looked at Vorun. ¡°Now, where were we? Ah yes. Even if I was doing that, then what could possibly be my mission? What ¡®great secrets¡¯ am I trying to steal from the quarian people.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Vorun said, ¡°but if I had to guess, you¡¯re a deep-cover operative working to help punish us for our retaliation against the Idenna Massacre.¡±


    Momentarily, John covered his mouth and nearly burst out laughing. John gulped and regained his composure.


    Then once more, the Clan Masters began whispering amongst themselves.


    ¡°Your retaliation to the Idenna Massacre?¡± John asked.


    Jhora cleared his throat, then began inputting a few commands into his omni-tool. The holo-projector sprang to life, then displayed a series of holograms. ¡°Not too long after the Idenna Massacre, Captain Imanu¡¯Reegar vas Ithaaya, lead three squadrons of warships to raid a Cerberus cell in some dead system off the relay network. After a sixteen-hour orbital bombardment of their moon base, there were no survivors.¡±


    John smiled. ¡°Good riddance. It¡¯s great to know that the quarian people finally got justice for such an atrocity.¡±


    Again, the Clan Masters began whispering amongst themselves. Briefly, John looked at the ground and sighed. ¡°Of course, this whole time, you¡¯ve had no reason to believe me other than my word.¡±


    Every Clan Master stared at her and John.


    ¡°So if you¡¯re so willing to throw away everything I was prepared to give the quarian people,¡± John continued, ¡°and are so determined to wallow in your isolation, to prove that the council species were right about you, then go ahead. Arrest me. Do whatever you want. I don¡¯t care.¡± John took a deep breath. ¡°But should you choose to do that, I have only one humble request.¡±


    ¡°And what would that be?¡± Vorun asked.


    Looking at the ground, John took a deep breath. ¡°Whatever happens to me, show Tali mercy. And if she wants to die, let her die. Believe me or not, she¡¯s already suffered through Felz¡¯elt once. So¨C¡±


    ¡°The only way John is leaving this room in handcuffs,¡± she interrupted, ¡°is if you kill me first.¡±


    Yes, better to die here and now than to suffer Felz¡¯elt again.


    She glared at the guards. ¡°If any of you touch him, I will kill you. Do you understand me? You¨C¡±


    ¡°Enough,¡± said the Prime Speaker, and the entire room went silent. The Prime Speaker stood up. ¡°This test is over.¡±


    She whirled and faced the Prime Speaker. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open. The test was over? So did that mean¡­


    Oh, Keelah¡­


    She put one hand on her visor. This whole time, she had been such a fool.


    The guards backed away, holstering their weapons. The Prime Speaker approached them. ¡°John¡¯Shepard and Tali¡¯Zorah?¡±


    Her heart pounded, and she gulped. If the test was over, then what were the results? ¡°Yes?¡±


    The Prime Speaker stood before them, clasping his hands behind his back. ¡°Congratulations. You have passed.¡±


    Her eyes widened, and she gasped. A cool, euphoric sensation rushed through her limbs, and suddenly, she felt bursting with vigor. She let out a joyful sob, and her tears were now of joy, not of rage and sadness. Ancestors, did she really just hear that? ¡°We¡­we passed?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± the Prime Speaker said. ¡°You have.¡±


    ¡°But what about the spy accusations, the¨C¡±


    The Prime Speaker chuckled. ¡°Nobody in this room believed that your lifemate was a spy, or that you were his pet. On everyone¡¯s behalf, I must apologize for playing such mind games with you two. But we needed to see how you two would react under pressure.¡±


    ¡°And the results?¡± John asked.


    ¡°Were not what many of us were expecting,¡± the Prime Speaker said.


    ¡°And just what did they expect?¡± she asked.


    The Prime Speaker looked at John. ¡°They expected you to get hostile and defensive, to show no respect for our ways, and to proclaim your human ones to be superior.¡± The Prime Speaker looked at her. ¡°And they expected you to remain either timid or rational. But by the ancestors, it turned out to be the opposite. The way you defended him, Tali¡¯Zorah, with such passion and ferocity. And how you would rather die in this room, than allow the guards to take away your lifemate¡­Keelah, there is no greater evidence that you are under the sway of Silz¡¯asul felz. ¡±


    The Prime Speaker looked at John. ¡°And you, John¡¯Shepard, the way you remained calm and rational, and how you cared more about her happiness, than your own.¡± The Prime Speaker let out a weak laugh. ¡°If I were in your position, I would have made the same request.¡±


    The Prime Speaker exhaled. ¡°Now, I¡¯m sure you know that we¡¯ve debated much on whether to allow you to stay here, and on what benefits you could bring to the quarian people.¡± The Prime Speaker looked at John. ¡°Quite frankly, we are very much interested in gaining humanity¡¯s favor. The krogan and the council races, you see, they are our allies only in name and will likely do everything possible to sideline us and undermine our influence in the new federation. Remaining friendless and hated will do us no favors, and will only set us down a path like that of the batarians. So your people¡­¡±


    ¡°Are the only species that could become a true ally?¡± John asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± the Prime Speaker said, ¡°and the next galactic hegemon at that. Yes, in this new age, nobody will ever look to the asari for leadership ever again. When a galactic crisis threatened to doom us all, they completely failed to give everyone hope and direction, and only looked after themselves. So tell me, John¡¯Shepard, if we accept you as one of our own, will you be the link between humanity and the quarian people?¡±


    ¡°I will.¡± John said.


    ¡°Do you swear to entwine our interests with those of your kind, until they are one and the same?¡±


    ¡°I swear.¡±


    The Prime Speaker swept his gaze over the other Clan Masters. ¡°You heard him. So all in favor of recognizing Tali¡¯Zorah¡¯s bond to John¡¯Shepard as genuine please raise your hand.¡±


    The Prime Speaker was the first to raise his hand. One by one, the other Clan Masters did the same, and she couldn¡¯t help but burst into a fit of weak laughs.


    Keelah, this was happening.


    This was actually happening.


    Soon, every Clan Master raised their hand, until only the masters of Clan Zorah, Gerrel, and Vael remained. Reluctantly, Aratia raised her hand. Erukhan did the same. Vhorun huffed through his nose, then finally raised its hand.


    ¡°It¡¯s unanimous then,¡± the Prime Speaker said. The Prime Speaker looked at John. ¡°John¡¯Shepard?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°We hereby declare you to be the first alien citizen of the Veil Republic,¡± the Prime Speaker said, ¡°and the founder and master of the new Clan Shepard.¡± The Prime Speaker exhaled. ¡°Now, I believe you have a bonding ceremony to prepare for.¡± The Prime Speaker faced the other Clan Masters. ¡°This meeting is over. Keelah Se¡¯lai, and may the ancestors watch over you.¡±


    Finally, every Clan Master stood up and began to leave the conference room. As they walked past her, she looked at John. Her eyes met his, and for what felt like hours, she just stared at him. He smiled. She smiled.


    She was about to embrace him. But then somebody cleared their throat beside her, as though to get her attention. She turned, only to spot the Masters of Clan Zorah, Vael, and Gerrel standing before her and John.


    ¡°Admiral Shepard?¡±


    ¡°Please,¡± John said, ¡°no need to refer to me by any titles.¡± John cleared his throat. ¡°But what is this about?¡±


    Erukhan sighed. ¡°I would like to apologize for what I said at the beginning of the test.¡±


    ¡°As do I,¡± Vhorun said.


    ¡°And I,¡± Aratia said. ¡°As the Prime Speaker said, it was all a part of the test. We did not mean a single word.¡±


    ¡°I accept your apologies,¡± John said.


    ¡°And so do I,¡± she said. Keelah, she had exploded at them with such rage. Did they take it personally? She began wringing her hands.


    ¡°Oh, you have nothing to apologize for,¡± Erukhan said. ¡°If anyone had threatened my lifemate in such a way, I would have reacted the same way. Now, tell me, for your bonding ceremony, do you have a witness?¡±


    Momentarily, she looked at the ground. ¡°No, I don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Then might have the honor?¡±


    Her eyes went wide, and she gasped. ¡°Keelah, after everything that¡­¡±


    Erukhan laughed. ¡°Oh, of course, I will be your witness. Your lifemate spoke the truth when he compared you to the great Aelina herself.¡±


    ¡°Oh, ancestors, thank you,¡± she said, ¡°a thousand times, thank you.¡±


    Erukhan opened up his omni-tool, then began inputting commands. ¡°I must go now, but we will stay in touch.¡± Her omni-tool beeped, and in her inbox, she found Erukhan¡¯s contact information. ¡°May the ancestors be with you, Tali¡¯Zorah. Keelah¡¯Sel¡¯ai.¡±


    ¡°Keelah¡¯Sel¡¯ai.¡±


    Finally, every Clan Master left the conference room. Holding John¡¯s hand, she followed them, only to run into her auntie and Admiral Korris waiting outside.


    ¡°Oh, congratulations, child,¡± said her auntie, spreading out her arms for a hug. She gave her auntie that hug. ¡°It seems that your dream has finally come true.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, it has,¡± Zaal said. ¡°We never had any doubt.¡±


    Once she let go, her auntie cleared her throat. ¡°Now, John. Is there something you wish to show her?¡±


    She tilted her head. Something to show me? ¡°John, what is she talking about?¡±


    John nodded, then reached into his coat and pulled out a black pouch. Her pulse spiked. Her eyes went wide, and momentarily, she couldn¡¯t breathe.


    No, could it be?


    John took out the pal¡¯tec vis surden from the pouch. ¡°Tali?¡±


    She let out a joyful sob, and she couldn¡¯t stop smiling. ¡°Yes?¡±


    Holding one of her hands, he put the pal¡¯tec vis surden in her palm, then curled her fingers around it. Holding her hand with both of his, he looked deeply into her eyes, and her knees grew weak. She could hardly breathe.


    ¡°Will you join with me and travel through life together?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Oh, John¡­¡± She embraced him, then burst into tears, into a fit of joyful sobs. He knew the words! Yes, the exact ones to propose. ¡°Yes! A thousand times, yes! Let us journey together for our souls are already one.¡±


    John dropped his cane, then wrapped his arms around her. She returned the gesture, and for what felt like hours, she hugged him with all the love a hug could convey.


    Yes, finally, it was over.


    She and John had conquered the last obstacle standing in the way of their bond. And now,  after their bonding ceremony¡­


    It would be the first day of the rest of her life.

 Chapter 18

    On the beach next to her new home, Tali¡¯Zorah was sitting on a rocky outcropping, fiddling with the ring she¡¯d made for John. Around her, the waves crashed against the shore. Her realk billowed in the whistling wind, and every minute, Tikkun sank lower and lower towards the horizon in a sunset that squeezed the breath out of her lungs.


    Keelah, it was so beautiful.


    Even now, with Rannoch returned to her people, it felt surreal that she¡¯d get to watch Tikkun set every day, and wake up with soil beneath her feet, not the deck of a starship. She smiled. One day, hopefully, she¡¯d get to feel the sand and water of this beach on her bare feet and skin.


    Yes, it would probably feel amazing.


    She glanced looked to her right, and in the distance, at the top of a gentle slope, lay her new home. At its rear porch, John was pacing around, answering a call on his omni-tool related to something about his future employment. Earlier, whilst John occupied himself with whatever matter it concerned, she¡¯d sat on this rock to contemplate the day''s events in solitude.


    She sighed. Just hours ago, she and John had passed the Clan Masters¡¯ test, then had spent the rest of the afternoon sightseeing Catyn, alongside Kasumi. They had only arrived at her new house about an hour ago, then did a quick rehearsal for the bonding ceremony.


    Keelah, soon, Shala would arrive here, along with Zaal, Khaalu, Erukhan, and Kal, to conduct it. Soon, she¡¯d get to experience what she¡¯d only thought possible in her dreams, in her fantasies.


    And soon, her life would change forever.


    She smiled. Once more, she looked at the ring in her hands. Ancestors, was now the time to give it to him? Or should she wait? She exhaled through her nose. Keelah, just how would John react? Would she botch some human custom and only end up embarrassing herself? Or would she¨C


    Just then, Kasumi decloaked behind her. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t tell me you still haven¡¯t given it to him.¡±


    She looked at Kasumi. ¡°Oh, hey Kasumi.¡± She looked back at the ring, then sighed. ¡°No, I¡­I still haven¡¯t given it to him.¡±


    Kasumi sat right beside her. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Tali said, her gaze fixed on the ring. ¡°I guess¡­I guess I¡¯m still waiting for the appropriate time.¡±


    ¡°Tali, we talked about this,¡± Kasumi said, putting one hand on her shoulder, ¡°you know that¨C¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes,¡± she said, ¡°I know that John will love it. It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just what?¡±


    She looked into Kasumi¡¯s eyes. ¡°What if I do something wrong and embarrass myself? You humans have such complicated courtship rituals and customs, which I still don¡¯t fully understand, and¨C¡±


    Kasumi put one hand on her shoulder. ¡°Tali,¡± she said firmly. ¡°Relax. It¡¯ll all be alright. Look, how about you give it to him after your bonding ceremony, when it¡¯s just you two alone? Ok? All you have to do is just give him the ring, then kiss him. There¡¯s no need to remember any special phrases or rituals.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yep,¡± Kasumi said. She chuckled, then looked out at the sunset ahead. She let out a contented sigh. ¡°Such a beautiful sunset. You and John sure are lucky getting to have your house on this beach.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want it anywhere else.¡±


    Years from now, she could easily imagine her adoptive children playing here. But by then, what would Kasumi be doing? What were her best friend¡¯s future plans?


    ¡°Kasumi?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°After my bonding ceremony,¡± she said, ¡°what are your plans? Is it back to swindling rich bosh¡¯tets like Donovan Hock out of their credits? Or something else?¡±


    Momentarily, Kasumi looked at the ground, then let out a weak laugh. ¡°That¡¯s a good question. And to be honest with you, Tali, I¡­I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ve never been the kind of person to settle down in one place for too long. So I guess I¡¯ll find my way to maybe Illium and figure something out.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± she said, looking at the ground. ¡°I see¡­¡±


    Would she ever see her best friend again?


    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Kasumi said, ¡°Tali, look at me.¡±


    She looked at Kasumi, and Kasumi faced her.


    ¡°It may be a while before we see each other again, after the bonding ceremony,¡± Kasumi said, ¡°but this is not the end of our friendship. Whenever you want to meet or talk, I¡¯ll always be just a few omni-tool messages away. Do you understand me?¡± Kasumi put one hand on her shoulder. ¡°We are friends for life.¡±


    She let out a weak laugh. ¡°Thank you, Kasumi. I¡­I can¡¯t tell you how much those words mean to me.¡± She took a deep breath through her nose. ¡°Never forget though, that wherever you are, you will always be welcome in my home.¡±


    Kasumi laughed. ¡°I won¡¯t, sister. I promise.¡±


    Just then, Kasumi¡¯s gaze focused on something to her right. She looked in that direction. And out in the distance, John was leaving their home¡¯s rear porch, approaching her. He wasn¡¯t using cane because now, apparently, he wanted to get used to walking without it.


    Please don¡¯t hurt yourself.


    ¡°Well, it looks like I¡¯d better give you two some privacy,¡± Kasumi said. Kasumi patted her back. ¡°Go to him.¡±


    Kasumi cloaked, then left.


    Pocketing the ring, she got off the rock, then approached John. When her gaze met his, he smiled, and she couldn¡¯t help but do so as well. Eventually, John wrapped his arms around her in warm hug, and she melted, returning the gesture. Holding her close, he gave her a quarian kiss. ¡°So what were you and Kasumi talking about?¡±


    She smiled. ¡°Oh, you know, just things like our future plans.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°But what about you?¡± she asked. ¡°How did that call go? Is everything alright?¡±


    ¡°Oh, it was nothing,¡± he said, ¡°just some details about my future employment, about my diplomatic and advisory duties. Nothing serious.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°Anyways, Shala and the others are going to arrive any minute now. Want to wait with me on the front porch?¡±


    She smiled. ¡°I¡¯d love to.¡±


    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    She followed him into their home, then passed through its living room before going outside onto its front porch.


    Ahead, Catyn dominated the horizon. Around the city¡¯s outskirts, amidst an arid, rocky steppe, the lights of numerous towns shone like distant stars. The closest town, Narun , was only a ten-minute shuttle ride away, and so was the Catyn Spaceport.


    Soon, in the distance, she spotted a shuttle approaching their home. Barely a minute later, it landed in their front yard, kicking up a cloud of dust.


    The shuttle¡¯s side door opened with a click and a hiss. Then finally, her auntie stepped outside, along with Zaal, Erukhan, Kal, and Khaalu. Her gaze met her auntie¡¯s. Her auntie spread out her arms for a hug, and eagerly, she embraced her. ¡°Ah, finally, you made it.¡±


    Shala laughed. ¡°Yes, yes, I know you¡¯re excited, child. I know.¡±


    Finally, she let go. Then she and John greeted the others, nodding, or doing the traditional quarian greeting to the others.


    ¡°Shall we do the ceremony on the beach?¡± Shala asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said. What a perfect location. ¡°Let¡¯s do it there.¡±


    She and John lead them into their house, then out onto the rear porch. Shala pointed towards a patch of sand with level ground. ¡°Just stand there facing your lifemate an arm¡¯s length away, Tali. If you please.¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Of course, auntie.¡± She grabbed John¡¯s hand, then did as her auntie asked.


    Momentarily, she looked into John¡¯s eyes and let out a nervous laugh. Every second, her pulse climbed.  Ancestors, this is happening. This is actually happening.


    Kal gave Shala the ritual ribbon, which looked like a silvery cord, then stood beside John. Meanwhile, Erukhan stood beside her, and Shala stood two steps back from between her and John. Standing across from Shala, Zaal clasped his hands behind his back, with Khaalu and Kasumi standing right beside him.


    Shala cleared her throat. ¡°Are you two ready?¡±


    John nodded. ¡°Ready.¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Ready.¡±


    ¡°Then let us begin,¡± Shala said. She nodded at Khaalu, and Khaalu opened up his omni-tool, then inputted a few commands, beginning to record the ceremony.


    ¡°This is Admiral Shala¡¯Raan zhor Akh¡¯Nael khar Catyn pav Rannoch of the Veil Republic Navy, recording an official entry for the Ancestor Archives.¡±


    She smiled. Yes, with Rannoch back, all quarians now used pre-Morning War names. Just over a week ago, the new Ancestors Archives had also come online.


    Shala looked at John. ¡°Please state your full name.¡±


    ¡°John¡¯Shepard zhor Narun khar Catyn pav Rannoch.¡±


    ¡°And your reason for this entry?¡±


    ¡°To declare and record the joining of my life to Tali¡¯Zorah¡¯s.¡±


    Shala looked at Kal. ¡°Is this bonding true?¡±


    Kal clasped his hands behind his back. ¡°It is, Ma¡¯am.¡±


    ¡°And why?¡±


    ¡°Because on Haestrom, when geth platoons had Tali¡¯Zorah trapped with no hope of survival, he fought his way to her like Zhoru¡¯Trosk reborn. The whole time, he also kept me alive, only because Tali¡¯Zorah asked him to.¡±


    Shala looked at her. ¡°Please state your full name.¡±


    ¡°Tali¡­¡± She let out a weak laugh, and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. ¡°Tali¡¯Zorah zhor Narun khar Catyn pav Rannoch,¡± she said, hardly able to stop her voice from trembling.


    ¡°And your reason for this entry?¡±


    ¡°To declare and record the joining of my life to John¡¯Shepard¡¯s.¡±


    Shala looked at Erukhan. ¡°Is this bonding true?¡±


    ¡°It is.¡±


    ¡°And why?¡±


    ¡°Because in the Forum of the Ancestors, when she believed her lifemate was in danger, she lashed out at his would-be killers with the ferocity of a Khelek¡¯miin, willing to die for him if necessary.¡±


    Shala looked at John. ¡°John¡¯Shepard. Please present your pal¡¯tec vis surden to your lifemate.¡±


    John nodded, then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out her pal¡¯tec vis surden. Her gaze met his. Her heart thrashed in her chest, as he held her hand, then placed the symbol of their bond in her palm. He curled his fingers around it, and then she and John were holding each other¡¯s hands.


    ¡°I offer you my name and this symbol of our future as we join together and journey through life as one.¡±


    She let out a joyful sob. ¡°I accept your name and the future it holds. Joined together as one, let our new journey in life begin.¡±


    Wrapping the silver cord around her and John¡¯s hands, Shala began reciting the Ancestor''s Prayer, along with Zaal, Khaalu, Erukhan, and Kal.


    ¡°Two hearts in the void, two souls lost at night.¡±


    ¡°Two lives once apart, joined within the light.¡±


    ¡°One life now remains, one life shared by two.¡±


    ¡°One heart beating strong, joined¡­their souls¡­renew.¡±


    It did not translate well into alien languages, but Keelah, even the translation was still so fitting, so beautiful.


    Finally, Shala finished wrapping the ritual ribbon around her and John¡¯s hands, then looked at her. ¡°From this day forward and with the blessings of the ancestors, you shall henceforth be known as Tali¡¯Shepard of clan Shepard. Lifemate of John.¡±


    ¡°Let it be known,¡± she proclaimed, ¡°that with this naming, and by ancient quarian laws, that before you now stand one body, one voice, one soul. May they walk in life as one.¡±


    ¡°Keelah Sel¡¯ai,¡± everyone said in unison.


    A brief silence ensued. Soon, Shala cleared her throat. ¡°End recording, close log.¡±


    Then everyone started clapping. As Shala unwound the ritual ribbon around her and John¡¯s hands, she looked into his eyes. He smiled, and she burst into a fit of joyful sobs. We did it, John. We did it!


    When Shala finally unwound the ritual ribbon around their hands, she embraced her lifemate in a warm, tight tug. And John returned the gesture, just as eagerly, holding her close.


    Yes, now marked the end of her old life.


    Now, as Tali¡¯Shepard, she was a new woman.


    <hr>


    In the evening, Tali¡¯Shepard watched Shala¡¯s shuttle rise into the air, then zoom off towards Catyn. After the bonding ceremony, Shala and the others had stayed over at her and John¡¯s new home for a while to have dinner and to discuss mundane topics like the planet¡¯s rebuilding efforts. By the end, she and John had wished them farewell, and Kasumi had gone along with them. In the morning, Kasumi would be on a ship heading toward human space.


    Good luck, sister. May the ancestors watch over you.


    She sighed. Now that she and John were finally alone, now was the time to do what she¡¯d put off for too long. Now or never. ¡°John?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°I¡­I have something to give you,¡± she said. She reached into one of the pockets of her suit and pulled out the ring.


    John¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°Wait, is that¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, handing it to him. ¡°It¡¯s a ring. I made it for you on the Khelek¡¯Miin. ¡±


    John slipped the ring onto one of his fingers, then examined it closely. As he did so, her heart pounded.


    ¡°Keelah, I¡­I can¡¯t tell you how touched and grateful I am that you¡¯re embracing my culture so eagerly,¡± she said. ¡°But I never want you to feel like¡­¡± Looking at the ground, she gulped. ¡°Like you have to abandon all of your human ways. So¨C¡±


    Without warning, John pulled her close to him, then kissed her visor. He chuckled. ¡°This is amazing, saera. Thank you.¡±


    She chuckled. Oh, praise the ancestors. He actually liked it! ¡°So by human customs, I suppose that I¡¯m your wyfe now, and that you are my huzbind ¡­after just one last thing.¡±


    She unclasped the latches around her mask. Holding it in one hand, she wrapped her arms around John¡¯s neck and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss on the lips. She hummed into his mouth, and John leaned into it and held her close, with one hand between her shoulder blades, and the other on the small of her back.


    Soon, their lips parted, and she rested her forehead against his.


    John let out a weak laugh. ¡°Care to indulge me in one more human custom¡­Miss Tali¡¯Shepard?¡±


    She let out a please hum, then smiled. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± he said, smiling, ¡°in many cultures on Earth, it¡¯s customary for a newlywed husband and wife to spend the first night in their home, making lots of¨C¡±


    She giggled, then playfully slapped his chest. ¡°You are such a horny bosh¡¯tet . You just want another Week Of Seclusion, don¡¯t you?¡±


    He grinned. ¡°Can you blame me?¡±


    She put her mask back on. ¡°No. Because I want one too.¡± She grabbed his hand. ¡°Come, let¡¯s head upstairs and¡­ ¡® khrisen¡¯ our k¡¯naaf .¡±


    He chuckled. And then she and John walked hand-in-hand towards the front door of their new home, towards the light within illuminating the nighttime darkness. As they did so, she couldn¡¯t help but look back to her days on the SR-1.


    ¡°Your ship¡¯s amazing, Shepard. I¡¯ve never seen a drive core like this before.¡±


    To their reunion on Freedom¡¯s Progress.


    ¡°John? Is that¡­Is that you?¡±


    To when he¡¯d defended her at her trial.


    ¡°I have better, John. I have you.¡±


    To when he¡¯d first confessed his feelings.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want anyone else. I want you.¡±


    To their night before the final battle for Earth.


    ¡°If we survive this war, I¡¯ll swear you¡¯ll have it, all the time you could ever want. Do you understand me?¡±


    Then finally, to their reunion in the spaceport.


    ¡°You¡­You came back to me.¡±


    Keelah, she and John had endured and fought through the worst horrors imaginable to reach this moment. Briefly, she thought of Kaidan, Mordin, Thane, Anderson, her father, and every comrade that had died fighting the Reapers. Yes, along the way, they had lost so many friends and loved ones. And often, the surrounding horror and chaos had pushed them to their very limits, threatening to drive them mad or into a pit of bottomless despair.


    And yet here they were.


    Alive and together until death drove them apart.


    Just before entering her home, she briefly closed her eyes, then let out a contented sigh. Yes, if necessary, she would have endured everything she¡¯d suffered all again without hesitation.


    It had been totally worth it.

 Epilogue

    In the first-floor living room of his beachside home, John¡¯Shepard sat in his recliner, then opened up a window on his omni-tool, and started searching for his album of family photos. Yes, today was Reclamation Day, the fifty-second anniversary of the end of the Reaper War, of when the quarian people¡¯s long exile had finally come to an end.


    Soon, his children, their families, and many old friends would come over to visit and have dinner on the second-floor terrace. There, they¡¯d get to watch the Reclamation Day light show light up the sky over Catyn with dazzling, patriotic holograms.


    Indeed, now, was a good time to refresh his memory.


    It had been so long.


    Finally, he found the album, and the first photo was of his son, Zhoru, as an infant, crawling around the second-floor living room in his E-ball. He let out a weak laugh, then smiled. Apparently, Zhoru¡¯s biological mother had been a quarian exile that had returned to Rannoch, pregnant and suffering from Felz¡¯elt after her lifemate had given his life for hers . Strangely, she had no ID records in the fleet¡¯s systems and had died during childbirth. At the orphanage, her child had no name nor clan ¨C just a number.


    That boy deserved to have a good home.


    So after completing the mandatory child-care and parenting courses, with ninety-sixth percentile scores on their numerous written and practical exams, he and Tali had adopted him without hesitation. Briefly, he looked back to when Zhoru had taken his first steps, to when Zhoru had spoken his first word ¡®ship¡¯, and to the first time Zhoru had called him, ¡®father¡¯, and Tali, ¡®mother¡¯.


    They were moments he would never forget.


    He scrolled to the next photo of him and Tali standing beside each other on the beach. Whilst Tali was carrying the three-year-old Zhoru, wearing his first suit, in her arms, their oldest son, Jona, and their daughter, Aelina, were standing right in front of them.


    He smiled. At the orphanage, Aelina had been the freak child whom nobody wanted to adopt. As an extraordinarily rare quarian biotic, she was a pariah to the other children, the ¡®dangerous¡¯ girl with no name, no clan, and no friends except Jona.


    ¡°Jona, if you get this, be strong for Daddy. Mommy loves you very much!¡±


    ¡°And my son, tell him¡­Tell Jona that his father made it to the homeworld.¡±


    Indeed, he had. Yes, his eldest son had lost everyone he¡¯d loved during the Reaper War, and yet the strength of his character had remained undiminished. Indeed, at the orphanage, Jona had refused to be adopted unless Aelina came along with him.


    He let out a weak laugh. He had rarely felt so proud, and without hesitation, he and Tali had adopted them. Later, he had always loved taking his children to the beach by their house, and watching the three laugh and play.


    Smiling, he scrolled through photos of what he called the golden years, of when his children got to enjoy the innocence of childhood, with countless vid and game nights at their home, with countless Yilaum do vis Grens and ¡®quarian¡¯ birthdays , and with countless family trips and holidays around Rannoch, and on one of the rebuilt arms of the Citadel.


    Yes, in spite of the rough patches, like Zhoru¡¯s ¡®monk¡¯ phase, Aelina¡¯s often explosive tantrums, and Jona¡¯s brief obsession with Galaxy of Fantasy , the golden years had been the greatest time of his life. During them, he and Tali had done everything possible to ensure their children would grow up with no traumas or tragedies to haunt the rest of their days.


    They deserved only the best.


    He sighed. As much as he wanted the golden years to last forever, his children would eventually lose their innocence, and he and Tali had done everything they could to prepare them for the cold, hard realities of adulthood. He scrolled through the next few photos of dinners celebrating his children¡¯s graduations from the Catyn Institute of Higher Learning , and then to photos of when Aelina and Zhoru had finished their military training, with Zhoru in the navy, and Aelina in the marines.


    He huffed through his nose. Back then, the last of the Khai¡¯Rothians, who had escaped their Reaper Cycle using time dilation to travel into the future, had cut a bloody swathe across the Terminus systems, slaughtering millions as they carved out a new empire.


    Yes, the First Terminus War had broken out, shattering the peace he had fought so hard to build. And as soon as the Khai¡¯Rothians began annexing worlds on the edge of quarian space, Zhoru and Aelina could not resist the siren call to war, to defend the Veil Republic against alien invaders.


    He took a deep breath.


    Indeed, he would never forget the countless hours he and Tali had spent practically begging them not to get involved.


    ¡°I will not stand by and do nothing! Not when the homeworld itself is threatened!¡±


    ¡°Everything you¡¯ve built, father¡­It¡¯s my duty ¨C my purpose ¨C to defend it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s worth dying for¡­¡±


    In the end, he had relented. Nothing he nor Tali could have said would have stoked the flames of their patriotic zeal, of their relentless drive and ferocity to defend the homeworld. Thankfully, Jona had not followed them. He smiled. Yes, Jona had always been the gentle one and had chosen to live a peaceful life, pursuing a career in his passion: starship engineering.


    He scrolled to the next photo of Jona¡¯s bonding ceremony with Luna¡¯Moreau, and then to the births of his first three grandchildren, Kharo, Erun, and Alani. He smiled. Few moments had filled him with such pride and joy, and they were welcome amidst the long, terrible years of blood-freezing fear that Zhoru and Aelina wouldn¡¯t return alive.


    He let out a relieved sigh. Thankfully, they had not only survived, but had returned as heroes, having proved themselves as masters of the art of war. Through sheer merit, Zhoru had become the youngest Admiral of the Heavy Fleet in quarian history, whilst Aelina had become the first quarian Spectre. Yes, after the armistice, they had earned a chance to rest, to build families of their own.


    Smiling, he scrolled to the next photo of Zhoru¡¯s bonding ceremony with Naala¡¯Reegar, and then to Aelina¡¯s with the sixth human Spectre, Alexander Cain. Alex had reminded him so much of himself, and in the end, he had welcomed the Spectre into the Clan, recognizing Aelina¡¯s bond to him as genuine. Not once had Alex ever failed or disappointed him. Indeed, the Spectre had made his daughter the happiest quarian in the galaxy, but¡­


    He sighed, as he scrolled to the next photo of Naala¡¯Shepard pregnant with the unborn J¡¯haerun, and then to a photo of J¡¯haerun¡¯s gravestone.


    ¡°What have I ever done to deserve this?¡±


    ¡°I would have given him everything¡­¡±


    Zhoru had been so excited to become a father, so eager to give his son the greatest childhood possible.


    But it was not to be.


    Without warning, Naala had given birth prematurely to a stillborn fetus, and J¡¯haerun¡¯s death struck the entire family like a dagger to the chest. Indeed, he would never forget Naala¡¯s tortured, choking sobs, nor the sheer despair in his son¡¯s eyes amidst his long, terrible depression.


    Ancestors, if he, Tali, and the rest of his family hadn¡¯t been there to support him and Naala through their grief, he did not want to imagine what might have happened. But in the end, Zhoru and Naala had recovered. They had crawled their way out of a seemingly bottomless pit of grief and despair, with mental scar tissue over their psychological wounds.


    He scrolled to the next photo of the birth of his twin granddaughters, Raela and Nylana. He let out a weak laugh. To this day, Zhoru and his family still visited J¡¯haerun¡¯s grave whenever they got the chance.


    Yes, as long as he lived, he would make sure that J¡¯haerun would never be forgotten amongst all Shepards.


    Next, he scrolled through photos of another golden age in his life, of the ten-year peace that had followed the First Terminus War. He smiled. During it, he got to watch his grandchildren grow up, and he and Tali always loved to spoil them. In the next photo, everyone was wearing the new Mark-2 suits, designed to be more comfortable, and in the photo after, two of his grandchildren were posing by one of the first A¡¯aneth platforms.


    He let out a weak laugh. After bouncing around several academic institutions, others had used and expanded upon the ideas in his book to spark the first social movements that lead to the Synthetic Restoration. He sighed. It had all come so close to civil war, but thankfully, the right people had sided with the Restorationists, and such a conflict never came to be.


    He leaned back into his chair. With the Shepard Doctrines an integral part of their programming, along with knowledge of the Reaper Cycles and their predecessors, the Geth, the A¡¯aneth had become the greatest boon to the rebuilding efforts, accelerating them to unseen heights. For a while, it seemed as though galactic civilization might finally recover from the Reaper War, and enter a new golden age. Closing his eye, he huffed through his nose.


    But they just had to break the armistice.


    He scrolled through the next batch of photos, taken during the dark days of the Second Terminus War. Momentarily, he clenched his jaw. Those bastards had used the ten-year peace to lick their wounds, to adapt from their old failures, and to consolidate their hold on the Terminus systems. Without warning, they had renewed hostilities with twice the ferocity.


    During the war, he and Tali had traveled all over Compact space, giving speeches, and inspiring the masses however they could. He sighed. As the conflict raged on, he had lost so many of his former crewmates.


    He scrolled through photos he¡¯d taken during Ashley, Jacob, James, Jack, and Samara¡¯s funerals. After a failed assassination attempt meant to decapitate most of the Hierarchy''s leadership, he had almost lost Garrus too, and the Compact had come so close to fragmenting, into becoming easy prey for the Khai¡¯Rothian empire.


    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    He let out a contented sigh.


    Thankfully, Zhoru and Aelina had turned the tide. He scrolled to the next photo he¡¯d taken during the peace talks he had attended, helping to negotiate the end of the war. Before those talks, his son had rebounded from his one and only defeat, at the Battle of Illium, and had won his masterpiece at the Battle of the Serpent Nebula, which had made him the Commander in Chief of all the Compact¡¯s naval forces. And no doubt, that masterpiece wouldn¡¯t have been possible, if not for the intelligence gathered during his daughter¡¯s shadow war in enemy space.


    He leaned back into his recliner. Closing his eye, he took a deep breath through his nose. Oh, praise the ancestors that Zhoru and Aelina had survived, that they had lived to see the end of the war, when the Treaty of Boltzmann had crushed Khai¡¯Rothian imperial ambitions forever.


    Just then, he received an incoming comm-request from Io, around two-thousand A¡¯aneth programs willingly caretaking the town of Narun. He answered it. ¡°Clan Master, your guests wish to inform you of their impending arrival, precisely seven minutes and thirty-two seconds from now.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for informing me,¡± he said, standing up. ¡°Tell me, where is Tali?¡±


    ¡°Your lifemate is upstairs,¡± Io said, ¡°on the second-floor terrace.¡±


    He nodded, then headed upstairs, past old photos of the Normandy days and the red-black banner of Clan Shepard mounted on one wall. And on the second-floor terrace, he spotted his lifemate, leaning on the railing, and looking out at the dazzling cityscape of Catyn ahead. Over her Mark-2 suit, she was wearing a red-black Khel¡¯mash , a cross between a poncho and a dress, decorated with gold filigree.


    Apparently, it was a popular choice of clothing before the Morning War.


    Next to her was the family dinner table, atop of which lay the food they had just prepared about an hour ago. For the quarian guests were several tubes of Zhel¡¯fin and Ualam. For the two turian guests was a pot of Khak¡¯chek. For the levo guests was a pot of mushroom risotto, a pot of stir-fried tofu and vegetables, along with a pot of steamed rice . And for drinks, the dextro guests had a pitcher of iced Ual tea, whilst the levo ones had a pitcher of strawberry lemonade.


    He approached her. Soon, she stopped humming a tune of her favorite song, of an ancient hymn for the ancestors, then faced him. Her glowing eyes met his, and he smiled. Yes, even in her eighties, she was still so beautiful. With one hand, he held her close, then kissed her visor. ¡°Well, you look happy.¡±


    ¡°Of course, I¡¯m happy, Yahn, ¡± she said. She let out a weak laugh. ¡°Our entire family is coming to visit. Keelah, it¡¯s been so long¡­too long.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, it has,¡± he said. How long had it been again? The last time he¡¯d seen any of his children or grandchildren in person had been three years ago, during a diplomatic summit he¡¯d attended on the Citadel. Momentarily, he looked over Tali¡¯s shoulder and spotted several shuttles heading towards his home. ¡°Looks like they¡¯ll be arriving soon.¡± He held one of her hands. ¡°Come. Let¡¯s give them a warm welcome.¡±


    She gave him a quarian kiss. ¡°I¡¯d love nothing more.¡±


    He and Tali headed downstairs, then went outside onto the front porch, then onto their front yard. Barely a minute later, a sky car landed a few feet ahead. Its side door opened with a hiss and a click, and then Zhoru, Naala, Raela, and Nylana stepped outside.


    Within seconds, Raela and Nylana looked at him. Both were wearing extravagant red and black cloths, with gold filigree, around their suits.


    ¡° Sahba! ¡±


    ¡° Sahvi! ¡±


    Raela was the first to come over and give him a tight hug. Returning the gesture, he let out a hearty laugh. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s so good to see you, Ahya .¡± Gently, he pulled away.


    And then Nylana embraced him. ¡°It¡¯s been so long, Sahba . So long.¡± Gently, she pulled away, gripping both his shoulders. ¡°Tell me, are you and Sahvi doing well? Have you two been¨C¡±


    Somebody cleared their throat. Momentarily, he looked over Nylana¡¯s shoulder, and he spotted Zhoru standing before him, clasping his hands behind his back. Unlike previous Reclamation Day dinners, he wasn¡¯t wearing his military uniform, but the civilian red and black cloths over his suit. ¡°Long time no see, father.¡±


    Reluctantly, Nylana stepped aside. Smiling, he spread out his arms for a hug. ¡°Come here, you.¡±


    Chuckling, Zhoru came over and gave him a brotherly hug. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s so great to see you again.¡±


    When Zhoru pulled away, he put one hand on his son¡¯s shoulder. ¡°For once you came in something other than your uniform.¡±


    Zhoru let out a weak laugh. ¡°I suppose peacetime has given me little to do lately.¡±


    ¡°Zhoru?¡± Tali said, once she finished hugging Naala. Zhoru faced her. Tali spread out her arms for a hug. ¡°Get over here and give your mother¨C¡±


    Without hesitation, Zhoru went and gave Tali a warm, tight hug. ¡°Keelah, it¡¯s been far, far too long.¡± Gently, Zhoru pulled away. ¡°I would have messaged you more. It¡¯s just¨C¡±


    Tali chuckled. ¡°Oh, no worries. No worries.¡±


    Just then, another sky-car was about to land in their front yard. He put one hand on his son¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Why don¡¯t you take your family inside and get settled? Dinner¡¯s on the second-floor terrace.¡±


    Zhoru nodded, then gestured for his family to follow him into the house. As they did so, the next sky car landed in their front yard. With a click and a hiss, its side door opened, then Jona stepped outside, along with his family, Lia¡¯Moreau, and the newest member of the family ¨C Kharo¡¯s pregnant lifemate, Tysali¡¯Shepard, formerly of Clan Raan.


    If only Joker was here too. Five years ago, Joker had passed away of natural causes, with Lia, Luna, and his grandchildren beside him, in Heurta Memorial Hospital. The death of his life-long friend had dealt the entire family a terrible blow, but at least he was with the ancestors now, having lived over forty years with his lifemate.


    And when Lia, now an Onyeh and Dram¡¯zelt din Relai of the Clan, joined him, Jeff would be forever at peace.


    Immediately, Jona¡¯s gaze met Tali¡¯s. ¡°Mother!¡± Jona spread out his arms, then went over and gave Tali a warm, tight hug. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s so good to see you!¡±


    Meanwhile, Alani approached him. ¡° Sahba!¡±


    Erun followed her. ¡°Keelah, it¡¯s so good to see you!¡±


    He smiled, then spread out his arms for a hug. ¡°Come here, you two!¡± Alani embraced him, and he let out a hearty laugh, returning the gesture just as eagerly. When he let go, he then embraced Erun. ¡°Oh, praise the ancestors, I¡¯m so glad you¡¯ve come.¡±


    Erun chuckled. ¡°We wouldn¡¯t have missed this for anything.¡±


    Meanwhile, Jona looked at him, then approached, spreading out his arms for a hug. ¡°Aaah, it¡¯s been so long, father. So long.¡±


    Reluctantly, he pulled away from Erun, then gave his eldest son a fatherly hug. He let out a weak laugh. ¡°Ah, I knew you¡¯d make it.¡± Gently, he pulled away, then put one hand on Jona¡¯s shoulder. ¡°So¡­what¡¯s this I hear about a faculty position at the Institute?¡±


    Jona laughed. ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll tell you all about it at dinner.¡±


    Momentarily, he looked over his son¡¯s shoulder, and another sky car was about to land in the front yard.


    ¡°I can¡¯t wait to hear it,¡± he said. ¡°In the meantime, how about you take your family inside and get settled? Dinner¡¯s on the second-floor terrace.¡±


    ¡°Keelah, just like old times.¡± Jona turned and began marshaling his family inside. As Jona did so, the sky car landed in his front yard. Its side door opened, and then Aelina and her lifemate, Alex, stepped outside.


    Even in their fifties, both looked no less vigorous than how they were in their youth, as though they¡¯d barely aged at tall. Standing at six feet foot three, and wearing a form-fitting dinner suit, Alex still had the physique of an Olympic gymnast, and his blond hair and beard hardly had any grey hairs. However, much of his face teemed with scars, and his right arm was a bionic replacement.


    Similarly, Aelina hadn¡¯t lost her robust, hourglass figure. Like her mother, she was also wearing a red-black Khel¡¯mash , with gold filigree. However, her left leg from the knee joint down was a bionic replacement


    Oh, praise the ancestors that she had come. Normally, her Spectre assignments kept her too busy, and often, he worried she might become too distant from her family.


    ¡°Aelina!¡± he said, approaching her, and spreading his arms out for a hug.


    Aelina¡¯s gaze met his. ¡°Father!¡± She came over and gave him a warm, tight hug. ¡°Keelah, it¡¯s been too long. Too long.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so glad you were able to make it,¡± he said. Gently, he pulled away, then extended one hand towards Alex for a handshake. ¡°It¡¯s great to see you again, Alex.¡±


    He spoke those words in English. Ever since he and Tali had stopped using translators to communicate with each other, it felt strange to speak.


    Alex accepted his handshake and nodded, giving him strong eye contact. The Spectre¡¯s green eyes looked piercing. ¡°The pleasure is mine, Clan Master.¡±


    ¡° Alekss, ¡± Tali said cordially. ¡°Welcome, welcome. Yust wait until you see what I¡¯ve made for all the levos at tonight¡¯s dinner. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll love it.¡±


    He smiled. I¡¯m sure I will. Yes, now, he could hardly remember the days when his lifemate was terrible at cooking, or when she could hardly speak even a sentence of English. Now, she was a master of both.


    Out in the distance, he spotted three sky cars, about to land in his front yard. He looked at Aelina. ¡°Well, feel free to head on inside and get comfortable. Dinner¡¯s on the second-floor terrace.¡±


    Aelina nodded. As Alex and Aelina walked, arm-in-arm, into his home, the three sky scars landed in his front yard, one after the other. Out of the first one stepped Kasumi and her lifemate, Shakro¡¯Shan, a former quarian exile and freelance hacker she¡¯d met on Illium about forty-five years ago. Out of the second one stepped Garrus Vakarian and his second wife, Nahda Vakarian, one of the Hierarchy''s representatives in the Compact¡¯s senate. And out of the last one stepped Liara and her bondmate, Joane Shaw, the eighth human Spectre.


    Smiling, he approached them. ¡°Well, well, well. Welcome, everybody. Welcome.¡±


    Immediately, Garrus came over and extended his hand for a handshake. Now, over half of his life-long friend¡¯s body was bionic, including several organs. Without hesitation, he shook Garrus¡¯ hand firmly.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have missed this for anything, Shepard,¡± Garrus said.


    ¡°And neither would I,¡± Liara said, also extending her hand for a handshake. He shook it as well.


    He sighed. If only Wrex and Ashley were here. Yes, Wrex was always too busy with his duties as Emperor of the Krogan, but at least he always sent gifts and messages.


    Meanwhile, Tali embraced Kasumi, warmly and eagerly. ¡°Oh, welcome sister. Welcome. It¡¯s so great you¡¯ve come.¡±


    Kasumi laughed. In her eighties, Kasumi was much thinner and frailer than how she was in her youth, with grey hair, tied up into a bun, and like him, a face teeming with wrinkles and crow¡¯s feet. She was wearing black formal wear. ¡°Oh, come on. I¡¯m practically family. I¡¯ve never missed a Reclamation Day dinner.¡±


    Tali chuckled, letting go. ¡°No. No, you haven¡¯t.¡± She let out a contented sigh. ¡°Anyways, come. Come. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll love the levo dishes I¡¯ve made.¡±


    ¡°Follow me,¡± he said, and then everyone followed him into his home, and then upstairs. The rest of the guests were chatting in the upstairs living room, and he gestured for them to follow as well. On the second-floor terrace, everyone took their seat around the large, circular table, with Tali sitting right beside him.


    ¡°Again,¡± he said, pouring himself a glass of strawberry lemonade, ¡°thanks for coming everyone. I know all of you are busy with your lives and duties, but every now and then, I believe it¡¯s important to remember and strengthen the bonds that brought us to where we are today.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°Anyways, I¡¯m sure you¡¯re all starving right now. So enjoy everybody.¡± He raised his glass of strawberry lemonade. ¡°Happy Reclamation Day.¡±


    ¡°Happy Reclamation Day,¡± everyone said in unison


    Then finally, the dinner began. Once he prepared his plate and began to dig into his food, he joined in on all the table conversations, which bounced from topic to topic, ranging from Jona¡¯s job offer at the Institute, to some of Zhoru and Garrus¡¯ war stories. Amidst them all, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves, although admittedly, he was only half-listening most of the time. Instead, he was relishing every moment.


    Yes, nights like this were ones he¡¯d always cherish and never take for granted.


    Soon, about an hour and half later, when everyone was nearly finished with their meal, Alani sprang out of her chair, then pointed towards the cityscape of Catyn. ¡°Oh, look! The light show! It¡¯s starting.¡±


    He looked towards the cityscape of Catyn, and above it, giant, colorful holograms were lightning up the night sky. Everyone got out of their chairs, then began to lean against the railing to get a better look. He and Tali followed and did the same.


    As the light show went on, he wrapped one arm around Tali¡¯s waist and held her close. Tali returned the gesture, melting in his embrace and leaning her head on his shoulder.


    A warm, blissful sensation bloomed in his chest. Ah, yes, with the Khai¡¯Rothians no longer a threat, and with the Reapers now a distant memory, galactic civilization was finally on the cusp of a new golden age. Now, everyone could finally enjoy the tomorrow they had fought so hard to forge. And whilst that tomorrow had cost so many lives, and the galaxy was not ¨C and never would be ¨C perfect, he would not trade his situation for anything.


    Indeed, he had given his lifemate many decades of good memories and had accomplished nearly everything he had hoped to achieve. Now, his life was perfect. And whenever his time came to join the ancestors¡­


    He would have no regrets.


    THE END