《Cabin of Memories》


 The Opportunity: quickly taken, little thought

    I take a deep breath as I open the door, my bags on the ground around me. All of the belongings that I was able to take with me form a small pile surrounding me, though the word pile was generous.


    I breathe in the crisp air and smile at the change. It was a nice change from the inside, recycled air, that I had been breathing for the past couple of weeks. I feel lucky to be here and wonder how I had been so lucky to be the one to get this opportunity.


    I close my eyes and picture the hospital social worker that had approached me. I had begun to spiral into a panic attack about the cost of my stay. She knew that I wouldn''t be able to pay for the cost of my stay and told me about an opportunity.


    It was a new program that was beginning, and she thought it would be perfect for me. An opportunity to get myself in order before returning to my¡­ previous life. My challenging life, the difficult life, the things I didn¡¯t want to think about or¡­ possibly even go back to.


    What was this opportunity? It was to go to the mountains in Alaska, I think the place was called Coldfoot? It was outside of the town though, away from other people. You must drive thirty minutes to get to the nearest house. Or that''s what it felt like?


    I was very tired from all the travel. I stand outside the door and reach into my pocket for the key that I was given and unlock the door and put my things inside. I just shove my bags through the door, but don''t go inside just yet.


    I wanted to keep breathing in the outside air. I listen to the birds twittering in the trees and feel the light breeze that blows across my face. I walk around the building and drink in the sight.


    It was a gorgeous three-story log cabin that I would be staying in, all by myself for the first little while. She told me that eventually another person would be coming to stay there as well. I felt a little shy thinking about it.


    The other person that will be showing up is a male. I haven¡¯t always had the best experience with men, but I wouldn¡¯t hold that against him. Who knows maybe he would be pretty cool and we could hit it off and be friends? I could really use a friend¡­ After some alone time, of course.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    Finally, I walk into the cabin and close the door behind me. I lock the door, although I feel as though that might not be completely necessary as there really isn''t anyone around. But you never know, a few years in the dormitories and you forget what feels like to be safe.


    Now that I was in the building, I wasn''t completely sure what I should be doing. The opportunity that I had been given was to come out here and be a caretaker for the next year.


    I questioned why I was being considered and was told that I came to mind when the opportunity arose. I had been talking about how I wanted to take some time off, travel or you know something.


    I assume that is why she offered it to me, and I felt that it would be a great opportunity. So, when she asked me if I would be interested, I answered with an affirmative. She then set up an interview with the owner of the building that I would be staying in.


    The next day I had taken a shower and dressed in the best clothes that I had with me. Which were clean leggings, a long black shirt that was almost a dress, and a very fashionable white shirt belt.


    I was nervous as I walked into the room to talk with the property owner who was giving such a fantastic opportunity. My first impression of this woman was that she was rich.


    She was dressed in fine clothing and had rings that sparkled with jewels, although they were not gaudy. She was also wearing a perfume of gardenias, and¡­ Something fancy I guess? I don¡¯t know, she just smelled rich.


    She asked me some questions about myself and my situation. At first, I hesitated but I answered honestly, which seemed to please her. As we talked, she nodded a lot and took down notes on the piece of paper in front of her.


    Throughout that next week we finalized everything. The final instructions she gave me were to read the letter on the kitchen table when I arrived.


    I stretch my arms above my head and then down to my toes in order to help wake up just a little bit before reading the letter on the table. It reads:


    "Hello Aurora,


    I am glad that you were willing and able to take my offer. After hearing about your case, I knew that I needed to reach out to you.


    Now that you are here there are a few things that I would like you to do. Underneath this letter there should be a journal. I would like you to make a journal entry every day of anything interesting that happens. And if nothing happens, then just make a record of what you did during the day. I feel that should be simple, yet useful.


    Also, as I told you there will be a man coming to live here as well. I, however, will not tell you his name, and here is why: this cabin is said to be haunted. We would like to turn this into something, although I am not sure what, and not sure that ¡®the what¡¯ even currently matters.


    And I won''t be telling you his name because I want to know if it is obvious that this place is haunted, and how obvious is the difference between the living and the dead. Good luck Aurora."


    I drop the letter onto the table. Haunted?

 The Murder BUCKET!

    Haunted? Why was I chosen to find out if this place was haunted! I don''t think that this was in the paperwork I signed, no I know it wasn¡¯t.


    I sit there and wonder if this bothers me and come to the conclusion that it doesn''t. I''m fine with this. I¡¯ve always enjoyed all things supernatural and watching horror movies.


    You would think that means I know better, but really it just doesn¡¯t scare me death isn¡¯t so bad anymore. Just the fact that I have the opportunity to be here and get myself in order is truly a blessing.


    Well first things first. I need to familiarize myself with my new temporary home. If I don''t know this place well enough, how will I know if anything moves or changes. That is one way to find out if a place is haunted, right?


    I laugh at myself as I realize that I truly have no idea about how to go about doing this. Laughing feels good, and I have no one here to judge me on whether or not my laugh sounds weird. No one here to tease me, no one to bully me, no one to tell me to stop being depressed because it is bumming them out. No one here... besides me and perhaps some ghosts?


    I pause at that thought. Is it really just me here, or has the other living person already shown up?  I was told I would be the first on here, but I was delayed. At this thought I decide to start running through the cabin to see if I spot anyone.


    I pop my nose into each room, not really taking them in yet, just seeing if I spot anyone or anything. After running around, I confirm that I am alone. And with that being acknowledged I go back downstairs and end up sneezing a few times. Man, this place is dusty and musty. When is the last time that it has been cleaned? I suppose that will be my first task.


    After deciding that I was going to clean everything I came to yet another realization. I didn''t know where the cleaning supplies are kept, or even if there are any cleaning supplies here. It is a silly thought as all places should keep cleaning supplies.


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    I lean against a wall and run my fingers through my hair and think. I also close my eyes to help picture all of the rooms that I had passed by earlier. Cleaning supplies... Wait! I know where there might be some.


    I smile and slip my shoes back on and step outside. I had seen a shed out here. Might as well start there. I assume that there would not be any of the liquid cleaning supplies, as they would freeze but I should be able to at least find a broom, a mop and a bucket.


    Walking out to the shed I once again marvel at how wonderful the breeze felt on my face, and how fresh the air smelt. I hope that I never get used to this and that this feeling will always bring me joy.


    I try to picture a dance in my head that could capture the feeling of the breeze, the feeling of freedom. I tip my head back, and give a small spin with one leg lifted. Bah, that didn¡¯t feel right, I would need to work on it.


    I let the breeze wash over me and I walk over to the shed. I pull out the keys that I was given when I see that the shed has a padlock. I wonder if it is hiding any sinister secrets.


    I pull the door open and jump back just in time as a bucket nearly falls onto my head. I curse under my breath and pick it up to set it upright. I would most likely be needing that bucket to mix cleaning supplies into.


    I shake my head and look inside the shed. There is a light bulb hanging from the ceiling and I pull the chain to turn it on. The light illuminates the shed and I praise myself. Yes, there were cleaning supplies.


    I grab everything I need and put it into the murderous bucket to make it easier to carry. Wait murderous bucket?


    I spin around looking up, left, right and even down and around my feet. Murderous bucket or murderous ghost? I shiver at the thought and hope that if there are any ghosts here, they are kind and nowhere close to the murderous type.


    I leap out of the shed and quickly close the door behind me, just in case, locking it up tight again. You never know, right?


    Now that I had my mop, bucket and broom I needed to find the rest. Where do people keep things¡­ I know that my parents had kept some cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink, the supplies to clean the bathroom under the bathroom sink and so on and so forth.


    Great sinks, keepers of cleaning supplies!


    I walk into the kitchen to see if I was right. I was! I had some bleach, spray bottles, all-purpose cleaner, floor cleaner, mop, sponges, and rags. I was all set. I decided to start cleaning the cabin from top to bottom.


    There was a half bath near the entrance, and a full bath down one hallway both of which I cleaned thoroughly. When I was done I was out of breath, something that really upset me. I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn¡¯t¡­


    CRASH!

 Achievement Unlocked

    I freeze. I think for a moment I even forgot to breathe. Who really needs air in their lungs right? Not me apparently. What should I do?


    A list of scenarios run rampant through my head. Was it the other human that was supposed to arrive? I didn''t think so. Humans don''t typically make that kind of noise on purpose.


    What else could it be then? A robber? Again, that didn''t seem likely as they were also human and that clearly was not a human made noise. Right? Well this is supposed to be a haunted house...


    I glance at the bucket, just in case. Who knows maybe there was a spirit attached to it? That could be a thing! I pick it up, turn it over and shake it. Couldn¡¯t be too careful with murderous buckets after all.


    Curiosity overtakes my fear and I make my way over to the sound. With my shoes off it makes it easier to creep across the floor over to where I heard the sound. I walk on the balls of my feet, not letting my heels drop.


    I make less sound that way, or at least I believe you make less sound that way. The noise resounds once more. I think about thinking twice, instead I crouch down and peek around the corner to see. Two cats?


    They were chasing each other around. They knocked over a stool, a poorly hung painting and somehow they closed the open window. I don''t even know how they managed to do that.


    I shake my head. Haunted house, haunted¡­ house... As if that explained everything, which it did, obviously?


    I watched the two cats for a while. They chased each other, pounced on each other, and playfully nipped. It was so cute!


    I enjoyed watching them, but my mind began to wander to the scrubs of a nurse I frequently saw that were decorated with cat prints. After a while the cats seemed to calm down a bit and groomed themselves and each other.


    I stopped crouching and slowly made my way over to them. I stood still and knelt a little making sure that I would be able to quickly jump up or back if they tried to bite me. They walked around my person, sniffing me, their whiskers tickling my skin.


    I held my hands out to them, they sniffed them then headbutted me and nuzzled against me while purring. What friendly cats. They must have owners, right? Oh! This house did belong to someone as I was taking care of it.


    Maybe she left behind her cats. Sad, but that is how some people are. I guess when you are rich enough you can always buy replacement animals. That thought made me so angry that I shivered a bit.


    Maybe that wasn¡¯t the case though. Maybe the cats were great and mighty protectors, and the entire place would come crashing to the ground without them. It seemed my mind was clearly getting away from me, I was distracted by the fluff.


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    After petting and playing with the cats a bit I yawned and realized that I was both hungry and tired. I put up the cleaning supplies and made my way to the kitchen to get myself some food.


    I pull open the fridge and see both a water filter and bottled water. I smile when I see that they have my favorite brand and pull out a bottle. It was one of the large ones, but I felt thirsty, and I also like to have water next to me when I sleep.


    I didn''t immediately see anything I wanted to eat but then I opened a drawer and saw something beautiful. It was smoked salmon spread. My mouth watered and my stomach growled. How long had it been since I had any of this? Salmon outside of Alaska is hardly salmon.


    I take it out of the fridge and set it onto the counter. I then look for something that I could feed the cats, as I didn¡¯t want to share. I scan around and open the other fridge drawer. I see something labeled: for the cats. Well that answered that question.


    It looked like a mix of different types of meat. Seems reasonable. Cats are carnivores after all. Unsure of what to feed them in, I dig through the cupboard and find disposable bowls. That''ll work.


    I wash the chemicals off my hands, feed the cats first, wash my hands again, pull out some crackers and get to work eating my meal. Oh right! Just to be safe I stick my food in the fridge, so the cats don¡¯t eat my food too.


    I run over to one of my bags and pull out some pill bottles and a pill sorter. Most people do theirs by the week, but I have one for the month. A gift from someone who said ¡°here, use this to get your crap together. Until you do I want nothing to do with you¡±, so thoughtful.


    I pop my pills in my mouth, take my food back out of the fridge and chow down. The salmon spread seems to melt in my mouth and make me feel quite happy.


    After I finish eating the tired feeling near about slaps me in the face trying to knock me out. I dragged myself up the stairs to the second floor, I remember seeing several beds in my hurried tour.


    I saw the same few rooms but this time gentle, floral smells greet me. It was still dusty up here so why did it smell so nice. That was a mystery I would have to work on solving tomorrow.


    I take a quick walk around and open the doors. The first two on opposite sides of the hallway are bedrooms. That was a wonderful sight. I walk into one and look around. I open the drawers, the closet, and look in the bathroom and I see a few notes around the room.


    The first one said: ''This bed is comfy and unclaimed. To claim it ¡®Press E¡¯ to sleep in it. Achievement will be unlocked.''


    The note makes me smile and makes me feel welcome. Did the owner write it?  I know that couldn¡¯t be the case but was too fatigued to care.


    In the closet I see the note: ''hang clothes here not bodies. No more ghosts needed. Quota achieved'' Well that was easy as I wasn''t a murderer. It makes me a bit wary that someone thought that a note like that was needed.


    In the bathroom was a note that read ''These are clean towels and bath supplies bought just for you. Keep clean. Achievement unlocked.''


    I lay down on the bed and the note was right. It was seriously comfortable. As I lay there, I wonder who left me these notes. Did the room for the other person also have notes?


    I shrug my shoulders. That didn''t involve me, and frankly I didn¡¯t have the energy to look. I love how nerdy the notes are. I smile about it. In case the entity that left the notes was around or nearby I say a ¡°thank you!¡± out loud to anything that might be listening.


    As I am about to close my eyes, I remember one of the very few things that I was asked to do, which was to write about what I did today. I groan and make my way back downstairs, grab the journal and bring it to the note room. I write:


    ¡°Hi journal. Today I arrived at the cabin. It is gorgeous and I feel truly blessed to be able to stay here. I started my stay by cleaning a bit and playing with the two cats.


    They are adorable enough that I want to stick them in my luggage when I leave and take them with me. Just kidding, probably. They wouldn¡¯t be able to breathe, guess I have to find a different way to catnap them.¡±


    Feeling satisfied with my documentation I close my eyes and lay my head down on the pillow. It didn¡¯t take long for sleep to claim me.


    ¡®Achievement unlocked.¡¯

 Chapter 4: Enter Player 2

    "You''re welcome". Noah said.


    He was unsure how he woke up, but he thinks it was because there were new tenets. He heard the house owner say that there would be some new people coming in soon and to behave. He wasn''t sure whether she had been talking to him or the cats.


    Noah gives one last look at the girl laying down in the bed. It seemed she wasn''t able to see him yet. Well, that was fine with him as Noah was shy and unsure how to talk to women.


    But one thing that he was sure of was that it was not appropriate and definitely creepy to watch a woman sleep, so he left the room.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    I woke up feeling rested. I stretch out, pointing toes out and hands over my head. I then roll over and stretch out my back. Stretching is an important morning ritual for me.


    After that I go into the bathroom to check out these hygiene products that were bought and left for me. I walk in and take a better look at the bathroom than I did yesterday and am surprised at how luxurious it is.


    I was expecting things to be a little simpler, it being a log cabin and all. There was a deep bathtub that almost looked like a hot tub and a standing shower. The sink was nice and... there was a standing mirror on the wall.


    I might have to find something to throw over that. I shudder. I then go under the sink to where the new supplies were kept. There were unopened bottles of shampoo and conditioner, as well as body wash, bubble bath, bath bombs, lotions, nail clippers, tweezers... And various other things. This... Really is a good place to rest and recuperate before re-integrating into society.


    I don''t feel hungry yet so I decided that I should start by cleaning this floor and then reward myself with a nice bubble bath. This one would be nice and relaxing, unlike my last one.


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    I halt mid-step but put it out of my head with a quick shake. No more thinking about that. I am here to move on after all.  I march out of the bathroom and change into some fresh clothes, a loose t-shirt and capri leggings.


    Now that I was dressed for it, I started cleaning the second floor. I began with the room that I claimed as mine and then cleaned the other room on the floor. Interestingly enough there were no sticky notes in this room.


    Hmm, some ghost activity, or coincidence? Who¡¯s to say? I vacuum, sweep, scrub and polish until the two rooms are up to my high standards. Okay, what room is next, for some reason I have a hard time recalling how many rooms there are.


    I sniff the air. There it was again, the smell of fresh flowers. Okay I shall follow my nose. I leave my cleaning supplies in the hallway, not wanting to lug all of it around with me.


    I feel the air get a bit warmer the closer I move to the room. When I walked in, I was in awe of what I saw. What was this magical fairy land?


    "This place isn''t just haunted... It''s blessed, magical, AMAZING." I spread my arms out and spin around gracefully. "Seriously though this place is bigger on the inside." I say.


    I walk slowly, taking time to admire each plant and flower. The flowers were in many different colors and shades. There were lilies, gardenias, roses, hanging vines with and without flowers, I didn¡¯t know the name for most of them. I wasn¡¯t even sure that I had named any of the plants right!


    Off in the corner was even a pond with water lilies, a pond in a building?


    There were also soft brown wicker chairs with red cushions and a few small tables interspersed in the garden. "I feel as though I will be spending a lot of time in here."


    I smile at the thought. Yes, this was most definitely something I needed. ¡°I wish that I could stay here longer than a year¡± I commented to myself. ¡°But who is taking care of this place?¡±


    I lean in examining some of the flowering plants, whoever it is has a green thumb for sure. ¡°Thank you!" I say out loud in case the person who was taking care of this place was nearby.


    There was no cleaning that needed to be done in this room. It was clearly lovingly cared for. I sit down at the cute table in there just to enjoy the warm humid air on my skin. I notice something on the table. It was another note.


    ''Thank you for coming when you did. I almost wasn''t able to take care of the flowers anymore. I hope you enjoy being in this room as much as I do.''


    "I do oh secret note leaver. I love this room!" I called out.


    Does this mean that he was around somewhere? Well, he must have a reason for only leaving notes. I will respect this and hope that I can eventually win his trust enough for him to appear in front of me.


    Haha, maybe he was like a cat, you just have to leave him treats and wait until he warms up to you. "I wonder what you would like as a treat?¡±  What do ghosts like as treats, is it a ghost leaving notes?  If it¡¯s a person, they are seriously sneaky.


    I knew that it was time for me to leave this room for now. It made me sad, but I would be able to enter it any time I want for the next year, and that thought made me happy. I walked from the solarium/garden and the next room I came upon was... Holy cats seriously!

 Chapter 5: I Am Never Leaving!

    A library! What IS this place?


    Unlike the garden this place had a healthy coating of dust. I could still read the titles, so I skimmed over them curious what kind of books were in a haunted cabin.


    I quickly noticed the titles were in alphabetical order, an interesting sorting system to be sure. It would make finding books hard, but I could appreciate it. It kept me guessing what genre of book would come next. Would it be horror, fantasy, romance, historical fiction, or¡­


    ¡°A Brief Introduction to the Mollusk¡±. Nonfiction, eww, or maybe not. I might read that, would I read that?  Yeah, I might read that. What is a mollusk again?  I wonder as I keep walking down the shelves.


    Having fun, I keep reading the titles I see such notable ones such as: ¡°Appalachian Yodelers, They Can but Not You¡±, ¡°Best Moments: A Hamster¡¯s Memoir, a True Tail of the Poor Hamster¡¯s Life¡±, ¡°Chairs: You Sit in Them for Now, the Uprising Comes¡±, ¡°Eagles True Dumpster Birds¡±.


    I laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes. I love this place I am never leaving. I did open one of the books and the title was true to the content, I never knew I would fear a couch so deeply. Apparently, they don¡¯t just eat remotes.


    Eventually I came to a certain area that was well kept and looked frequently used. There was a tiny fridge close to a nest chair with a little cabinet on top of it. I open it and see pocky, gummy worms and mini boxes of Hoax cereal.


    Next to the snacks was a cute little mug with a colorful cat design on it. It had some Hoax cereal residue in it, just purrfect. "Very good snacks. Now what do you like to drink my mystery friend?"


    I kneel down and open the little fridge and see glass soda bottles, mini water bottles and... "Pineapple-lime soda? Never heard of it but it sounds delightful. Do you mind if I try one? I won''t until you give me a signal that it is okay if I share your snacks."


    I really want to meet this shy being. I continue inspecting his sitting area.  There was a shelf of various gaming systems and a TV on wheels that can easily be pulled in front of the chairs.  The rest of the space was filled with books.


    There were Manga, light novels, fantasy books and... Are those a few romance books? I pick them up and read the summary on the back. Oh okay, they were really fantasy books marketed as romance as it was a heavy feature of the novel. Fair enough.


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    ¡°Okay so what kind of games does my mystery friend play?¡± I crouch down and see fantasy games, some horror and... Otome games? What gender was my friend? Would that be rude to ask? I think that would be rude to ask.


    "You are a real existent cinnamon roll,¡± I meant existing, but persisted ¡°you have permanence, come forth spirit! I want to be good friends with you if that would be okay. I would love to know your name. And maybe meet you one day. If you want that, that is."


    After saying that, I was not blushing¡­ but my cheeks were flushed and warm. I was extremely curious as to what other secrets and mysteries I would discover.


    I walk down the hallway and see that there is only one room left on the second floor. I open it and let out a tiny gasp.


    It was mostly empty aside from a sound system, flat screen tv on the wall and what looks like a dance floor and a floor to ceiling dance pole. I hadn¡¯t been sure of how I was going to practice.


    Tears rolled down my face. It has been around two months since I last danced. I didn''t have a dance partner, so even though I didn¡¯t have any music I went through a few solo routines.


    I had been dancing since I was three and loved the different forms of movement and dance all so much that I learned all of them that I could. I was able to get a few roles in music videos. Most of them were amateur, but there were a few popular artists. They had me do belly dance, hip hop and such.


    I enjoyed the routines although they were not my favorite type of dance. What I really like is, the kind of dancing I truly lose myself in, are partner dances. Don¡¯t think about it, don¡¯t think about¡­ ¡°But who would want me as a dance partner now."


    I turn to the door and try to leave the room, but my breath catches in my throat. My knees give out underneath me. I hit the floor hard but I didn''t notice.


    I can only hear the thump as I struggle for air. I know I am hyperventilating but can¡¯t seem to slow it down, in out. In out. Tears start to stream down my face, I feel like I¡¯m dying. The last thing I remember is the room spinning, then darkness.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Noah followed Aurora as she walked through the second floor. He ended up blushing just altogether so many times. But she also blushed once, so he thought that made it okay. Not quite even but okay.


    He was confused when she started laughing, until he too read the titles she was looking at. It was strange he didn¡¯t recall these books being here, which made him all the more curious.


    When Aurora opened a book he leaned in over her shoulder. He was nervous being so close to her, but he had to know what was in the book.


    He too learned to fear, and respect couches. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that ghosts can¡¯t die a second time.


    He couldn¡¯t remember a time in his life when he had been complimented like that or at all. When she called him a cinnamon roll he wasn''t sure whether he should be happy about that or embarrassed, but there was a warm feeling building inside of him.


    He thought that the day was going well so far, until they went into the last room. He stood in a trance and wondered how anyone could be so graceful, beautiful and maybe a little...sexy... he didn¡¯t let himself think that last descriptor.


    His internal embarrassment stopped the instant she fell to the ground. He wanted to go over and help her, but there was nothing he could do. He hated the helpless feeling, he wanted to be able to help her. Even worse he soon started to fade, he vowed to himself to become solid no matter the cost, and then darkness.


    *********************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 6: Manga, Cassette Tapes, and a Music Box

    I¡¯m not sure how long I was out, but my cheek was already forming a healthy bruise. Feeling weak and like a coward I go sit in the room that I designated as mine.


    I pull my knees to my chest and plop my head down onto them. I let out a sigh that became something between a scream and a growl. It escaped from between my clenched teeth.


    Why was I just sitting in my room, hiding? I did that too often in the past and what did it get me? No one caring that I had disappeared. No one at all. "Fuck that!" I shout and hop back onto my feet. I can chase my dreams if I want to. Just¡­ Maybe not today.


    With new energy coursing through me I decided that I was going to keep cleaning and exploring. I was the caretaker of this place for the next year so I should slowly become familiar with it.


    Having finished with the second floor, as I was not tackling the library today, I moved on to the third floor. I started grabbing the cleaning supplies I had left in the hallway. Then I take trips up and down the stairs until I have collected all the cleaning implements, as I was uncertain as to what I would need.


    Before I begin cleaning, I take a walk down the hall and get a good layout of the place. There were four bedrooms, two one each side, a full bathroom past the four rooms and a small common room with chairs, tv and board games on a shelf. Seemed like a fun place for people to spend time together.


    I decided to start by opening all of the doors and vacuuming the rooms that had carpets, then sweeping. I would leave the mopping until after the rest of the cleaning was finished. The vacuuming didn''t end up taking too long .


    I returned to the first room on the right. It was fully furnished and even had some decorations and belongings in it. There was a small bookshelf and shelves up high on the walls.


    On the upper shelves were fantasy books and some manga. It was clear that they had been read, some more than once. In the bookcase were some games, and handheld gaming devices.


    On the top of the bookcase were a few stuffed animals: a stuffed dog, a stuffed rabbit and some stuffed creatures that looked to be from some anime that I haven''t seen. There was also an ocarina along with music books.


    ¡°Cinnamon Roll I¡¯m guessing this is your room, right?  It¡¯s similar to the nook in the library, I like it!  I play video games too, and I have even read some manga.¡±  I walk over to the manga. I was excited to see ¡°this is one of my favorites!  Though I never had the chance to finish the series. Do you have all of them, leave me a note if you do.¡±


    I sprayed and wiped down the surfaces and pulled all the bedding off and put it by the door. I was uncertain if the bedding was being used at all, but I found it important to truly keep up my caretaker duties.


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    As I haven''t found the washer and dryer yet I planned to strip all the beds of their bedding, keep it by the door, and collect them when I was done.


    After that, I walked into the bedroom across the hall and looked around it. This room had a more chaotic feeling to it, although I could not understand why. It wasn''t as though the room itself was messy, but I guess each room had a feeling to it?


    I wondered what sort of person or entity the room belonged to. This room also had a bookshelf but no shelves on the wall like in the previous room. On the bookshelf in this room sat some journals and loose paper.


    When I picked up the papers I saw that there was writing on them. I skimmed them and it looked as though they were either poetry or song lyrics. I wonder who wrote these? I gather them into a nice pile so it would be easier to move them when it came time to clean beneath them.


    After that I looked around the rest of the room. There was a boom box sitting plugged in next to the bed with cassette tapes sitting around it, 3 vinyl disks were hanging on the wall, there was a constellation map on the adjoining wall, and a star projector sitting in the corner of the room.


    I enjoyed the personality of the room but shook my head at the mess of it all. With things spread out like this it would make it a little more difficult to clean the floor. ¡°Oh well¡± I say to myself.


    I feel as though I have been talking out loud to myself a bit more recently. Maybe I was just so used to hearing human voices around me that I needed to speak out loud? I shrug off the thought and look back around the room.


    I enjoy a good challenge, so I made sure to clean the room and return things to their former chaos. I also stripped the bed and once more put the bedding by the door. I then walked into the next room beside this one.


    This room had a quieter, almost gentle feel to it. It also had a different sort of energy, but I could not put my finger on this one either. It would all make sense if I was able to meet the residents of these rooms.


    I wonder if I will be meeting them in the future. At the very least I would like to meet the note writing cinnamon roll as I think that we could be good friends. Ah well, I am sure this time alone would be good.


    The room had very few decorations. It had the same characteristic bookshelf next to the bed, although this one appeared to be made from hand, as did the bed itself. It even looked to be polished, but the polish seemed a bit.. older?


    I knew nothing about woodwork, but I assumed maybe it was just the feeling of it. Haunted house I had to remind myself and somehow had the thought that these rooms must be for the ghosts. Of course.


    That should have been more obvious to me when I was in the first room and thought that it was the room of the cinnamon-roll ghost that left notes for me here and there. Thinking about those notes made me smile.


    On the handmade bookshelf sat a few things. The middle and bottom shelves held several pairs of shoes, they were of an older style that would have been handcrafted for a particular person.


    You could tell by the unique arches and places for the toes... and I have no idea about non dance shoes to be honest. That was just what I think when I look at them.


    On the top shelf were some old timey looking toys. The paint looks worn out in a few places, and there were some scuff marks. It was clear that these toys were well loved and had been played with often.


    Next to them was a box with a key. I gently turned it a few times then opened the box. As I had thought, music spilled out from it. It was a beautiful and well-maintained music box.


    Who knows how old it was, but it was well cared for as it still worked beautifully. The music flowed out so crisply. I take a seat on the bed, close my eyes and listen to the music until it finishes playing.


    I couldn''t think immediately of what type of dance would go well with it, but it was better that way. I thought of young kids listening to this before they sleep or sitting in a garden and dancing together¡­ carefree.


    I was almost melancholy when the music ended. I sighed, got up, finished cleaning the room, making sure to polish everything very gently, pulling the bedding off, putting it by the door and moving on to the last bedroom.

 Chapter 7: Last but not Least

    The last room exuded the smell of a crisp night and pine needles crushed underfoot. I have no idea how a room can capture the smell of a crisp night, but it did. I smiled and enjoyed breathing it in.


    The smell of wilderness, the feel of adventure. It was near bursting through the room as I walked in. Once that feeling calmed a bit I took in the sight.


    There was a large and intricate dreamcatcher hanging above the bed. It was gorgeous. On one of the walls were two axes crossing one another. Next to them hung a pair of snowshoes. Those look sturdy. I bet they are still completely functional, as well as those axes...


    On the adjoining wall hung some cabin blueprints. I wonder if the owner of this room drew them. If so, that is impressive. Huh, did they also design this cabin?


    I walk over to the blueprints and examine them. Looking them over I can see that they are not the blueprints to this cabin, but to a few smaller cozier cabins. They only had a single room and a loft. Meant for just one person I suppose.


    I pull myself away from examining it and clean the room. As I finish stripping the bed I collapse onto the floor of the hallway. This was the most that I have exerted myself in a while.


    I hadn¡¯t been able to do so much because¡­ I also feel exhausted. I let out a little sigh. I close my eyes and after a few minutes I felt something cold touching me.


    I am startled by the cold and it makes me curious about what is cold and wet on my arm. I slowly open my eyes and see four eyes looking at me. Wait what?


    It takes my mind a few minutes to see that it wasn''t a creature with four eyes but instead it was two kittens, one pure black and one pure white. I remember feeding and playing with them the day before. I wonder if they were booping me to let me know that they were hungry. I suppose that I was a bit hungry myself.


    I make my way down the stairs, leaving the cleaning supplies where they were. I planned on returning to cleaning once I was done eating, I did pause thinking about the kittens around chemicals. However, if the cats were going to stay with me, which it seemed like they were, it would be fine.


    Having them around did make me feel less lonely. I pull out my phone and look at it again. I don''t know why I bothered.


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    I had been doing this every day, multiple times for the last two months. I try to tell myself if is out of habit as I unlock the screen. I flip through all the apps: no messages, zero inbox, nothing new, no new followers¡­ Oh wait. I lost even more.


    I opened the most recent conversation, checking to make sure I hadn¡¯t missed anything.


    Ex Roommate: ¡®I can¡¯t believe you did that to me!  Don¡¯t you ever think of anyone other than yourself. You know how much this show means to us, it is our fucking semester final!  You were the lead, now we have to go with Emma. No talent, only here because of her daddy¡¯s money Emma.¡¯


    Ex Roommate: ¡®Don¡¯t you dare text me, don¡¯t call me. You don¡¯t exist to me right now. In fact until you get your shit together pretend you never existed at all.¡¯


    You: ¡®I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m just so sorry. I don¡¯t have words for what happened. Don¡¯t worry I will be back soon, maybe I won¡¯t even miss a show. I mean there is some rehabilitation, but it is just my arms. I can still dance.


    Error 20002: You have been blocked by the intended recipient of your message.


    I kneel on the ground, bending my knees and putting my head down and taking some slow breaths. I know I should erase it, but I had to keep it. Erasing it felt like saying the last few years of my life hadn¡¯t happened.


    Erasing the people, the dances, the parties, the experiences, the experiences¡­  I was becoming overwhelmed by the feeling of not being wanted. I knew that if I dwelt on it and didn''t keep moving I would have a panic attack, I refused to have a second one in the same day.


    The medications can only do so much, I must do the rest of the work myself, and so I start one of my grounding techniques.


    ¡°Okay¡­ What do I see?  Two hungry kittens. What do I hear?  A growling stomach, and frequent mewling. What do I feel?  That one is easy, hungry. Lets do this!¡± I give myself a mental pat on the head for avoiding another panic attack.


    Me and the two cats enter the kitchen and I feed the three of us. I sit on the ground with them as they eat so that I don''t feel so lonely. It was comforting.


    "I wonder what your names are?"


    "I''m Anubis" says the black kitten. His voice came out with the exuberance that can only be managed by a young boy.


    "I''m Bastet" says the white kitten. Her voice was elegant and gentle, the soothing sound of a perfect lady.


    I sit and stare, confused as to what just happened. I was not given a coping technique for this. I didn''t think that I had been alone so long that I should be hearing things yet.


    I guess that I''m wrong and that you can start hearing things at any point. Should I add this to the journal? Well, I suppose I should, it seems as though it could go right along with being a supernatural occurrence.


    "It is very nice to meet the two of you." I say to the two of them. Even if their voices might just be in my head, it never hurts to be polite.


    I see Bastet look over at Anubis as if to keep him in check, making sure that he doesn''t say anything rude. It was sweet. I get the feeling they have a good relationship with each other.


    I''m sure that someday I will be able to have a relationship like that. Not sure when though, I just feel I don¡¯t deserve it.


    "My name is Aurora." I tell them and hold my hands out. They walked over and rubbed on them.


    "Pet us." They said in unison, so I did. I pet them, gave them scratches and let them cuddle against me and just took the time to listen to them purr. It is a truly wonderful sound. It picked my mood up a bit.

 Chapter 8: Why Don’t Ghosts Like Basements?

    This was my time! I make a decision. I march into the room I call mine and shove my phone into a drawer. I didn''t want to be chained to it, waiting for someone to want to spend time with me.


    I would find a way to enjoy spending time with myself. And with that I smile, and I feel a weight lift-off of my chest. Although I know that it is only temporary, I accept that. No one really gets over hurt in a day. And I happened to have a lot of hurt to get through.


    "Full, sleep now." says Bastet.


    Anubis and her curl up on my bed, looking like a yin-yang. Seems fitting somehow. I was strongly tempted to curl up on the bed with them. Their soft, warm little bodies would probably be very comforting. It wasn''t time for me to sleep yet.


    Well then, there are a few other places to explore, and I still have laundry to do. I ponder where I should go next. I think I saw a string to pull down for stairs, meaning that there is an attic. But I doubt that there is a washer and dryer in the attic.


    So, let''s hunt down a different place that they could be. Oh! I remember a door that had stairs leading down behind it. It did have a bit of a foreboding feeling, but I was curious anyway. Also, it would be a basement, which is a pretty common place for people to keep a washer and dryer.


    I grab all the bedding and cleaning supplies, and bring it down with me. I go to where I remember the door being and pull it open. I don''t know why but a little chill runs down my back.


    It isn''t a feeling that makes me want to turn around and run away, but more of the feeling you get when you are watching a good horror movie. I bring all the laundry supplies down with me so that I can use what I need and set them at the bottom of the stairs.


    I am standing in the dark aside from the light that is trickling down from the door at the top of the stairs. I start looking for a light switch, or cord, when I see something in the darkness, eyes staring at me.


    A gale wind blows through the cabin, it rattles the windows, shakes the furniture, something shatters as it falls to the ground, and slams the door shut behind me.


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    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Noah follows Aurora around the cabin as she goes about her day. He is filled with a nice warm feeling when he sees her smile. He watches the way that she tries so hard, putting her all into every task, even cleaning which he could not understand.


    He finds his cheeks getting warm when Aurora enters his room. It spreads from his cheeks to ears, to his entire face, as she cleans and looks at all of the belongings in his room.


    "Ah, ah there is a girl in my room!" he says quietly to himself.


    Other than the nurses going in and out this was a new experience for him. ¡°No, don¡¯t look at those. Ahh!  She looked at them.¡±  Noah splayed his fingers in front of his eyes and braced for the inevitable rejection.


    ¡°What! You have read those too!  I mean, yes you have good taste, and the library does have all of the volumes.¡±


    Noah regretted that he didn¡¯t have his sticky notes and pens with him, he had left those in the library. He thought about going to get them but decided he could leave a note later, and he didn¡¯t want to miss anything. Noah told himself he was just curious, and the blushing was a well-known side effect of his condition.


    After she leaves his room, and while she is cleaning the other rooms, he sits down on the bed and looks at his belongings. He wishes that he could pick up the things around him, but he is not corporeal enough to be able to move much around.


    He had been having to reserve all his energy just so he could attend to the garden. He would fall asleep after doing that and he is never able to figure out how much time passes while he sleeps. He can only hope no plants have died before he wakes up again. He had lost a few of the more delicate flowers that way.


    When it sounds like she is done in the other''s rooms he walks out so he can follow her around again. He sees that she is playing with the cats and reflexively jumps back.


    Those fuzzy beasts seem to like her and it''s cute to watch her play with them as long as they don¡¯t turn their gazes on him. They were the keepers of the afterlife, so it was reasonable to be afraid of them, or so he tells himself.


    When she parts with them, he is once more able to follow after her. ¡°Am I a stalker?  This is how stalkers behave. No. I am good and well mannered, I could never be a stalker. She was the one that kept talking to me, it would be rude and even inexcusable if I wasn¡¯t nearby to hear what she was saying.¡±


    He wonders where she is going when she is yet again moving her cleaning supplies. When he sees that she is going into the basement he worries for her. He always had bad feelings when he was near the basement door, it was unnerving.


    He loses himself to the thoughts of the basement and what was scary about it. Enveloped in his thoughts he doesn¡¯t notice the wind at first, it wasn¡¯t until the crash that he realized something is happening.


    He saw the windows shake, and felt the wind as it rushed through his incorporeal spirit. His eyes follow the wind¡¯s current, and when he sees the door slam shut his stomach drops to his feet.


    ***********************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 9: ...

    Everyone has a bit of a fear of the dark. It seemed to be a human trait I tell myself, trying to justify the way that I was feeling.


    I wasn''t sure if I imagined the eyes looking at me or not but there was definitely a presence, and it had noticed me. I stand there stock still and wait for the feeling to go away.


    The feeling didn¡¯t go away, it intensified as I felt I was drawing its attention. I thought I was in darkness before, but I was wrong. There was no sound, even the vague shapes of sight were gone, the darkness enveloped my senses and then I breathed it in.


    I felt it course through my blood as I went numb, my body lost its feeling and I was its captive. Things shook, no I did, as it pushed into my mind and memories long buried bubbled to the surface. A small bubble burst¡­


    ¡°Daddy I¡¯m so sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to. I didn¡¯t know you and mommy were fighting. Please don¡¯t, please don¡¯t. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    My breath catches as I¡¯m choked by my sobs, I knew Daddy can¡¯t hear me right now, he¡¯s too mad.


    All my thoughts and tears stop as my back and head hit the wall. I know to just sit still as Daddy locks me into the closet. The shoes are really uncomfortable underneath me, and the closet is really small but I¡¯m really small too.


    All of my senses rush back at me at once, there is a pounding in my head as my pulse beats in my ears. Vertigo hits as I fall to my knees, pins and needles stab all over as the numbness fades, I dry heave twice.


    With a shaky breath I pull myself onto my feet, my knees feel like they might bruise. It didn''t seem to keep all of its attention on me, it almost felt like something awoke for the smallest moment. Then it went back to sleep, as though I wasn''t worth waking for. Or that''s how I feel. Or, truth to tell, I just want to comfort myself.


    I scramble around in the dark, feeling for a pull chain or a light switch. I push back at the frantic anxiety that is starting to build, when my hand smacks into the cord.


    After what felt like forever reaching around in the dark, although it was probably mere moments, the darkness finally abates as the light flickers on.


    ¡°From now on I am leaving a flashlight next to the basement door!¡±  I declare, as I stamp my foot on the cement. I can¡¯t help but think this is the first time in months I would have been happy to have my cell phone¡­ It has a flashlight.


    From what I could see it seemed to be a rather ordinary basement. I breathe out a sigh of relief and take a glance around. Even though it looked normal enough I don''t think I will spend time truly cleaning or exploring it.


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    I walk around just enough to find the washer and dryer. I pat myself on the back for being clever enough to think of the washer and dryer being down here. Having located it I bring down the bedding and get the washer going.


    Finished with the basement, I climb the stairs and take a look back at the open door. I gently shut it and think to myself did that really happen?  Should I think about it, I take a breath, smack the door ¡°nope¡± and walk away.


    I needed some down time, so while it was washing, I went into the library to read. I could play games on my phone, but I wasn''t interested in doing that, I didn¡¯t want to be on my phone at all.


    I did have some new otome games to try out, but I wasn''t in the right mindset for that, so curling up with a good book sounded perfect.


    I walk into the library and skim around, chuckling about the last time I was in here, haha evil couches.


    I walk around the shelves, running my fingers along the spines of the books. I wonder how much knowledge is contained in these books, and if I wanted to spend time learning it. Not at the moment, so I avoid those sections.


    My eyes catch on an occult section, I guess it isn¡¯t all alphabetical. For a moment I feel like checking it out but shake my head. I had enough of the occult in my life just by living here. No need to psych myself up and corrupt my experience by trying to fit it into the confines of the books I read on the topic.


    Part of me just wants to close my eyes and walk around and read whatever I stopped in front of. But I thought that this might be a bit much for today. I wanted something from my cinnamon-roll¡¯s collection.


    I made my way over to my note leaving friends nook and saw that they had been there since I was last here and had left me little notes. On the cupboard there was a note that said ¡®Friends share. Feel free to enjoy a few.¡¯


    I smiled at that and said out loud, "Note friend, thank you I might in a bit¡±.


    On the fridge there was a note that said, ¡®I have an odd taste in drinks, but I''d love it if you tried some.¡¯


    I replied to this note, "I think I will. Thank you." and saying that I pulled out one of the drinks I hadn''t tried and set it next to the chair.


    I looked around, seeing if there were more notes. To my immense delight there were. On the games each was marked with a note ¡®Feel free to play¡¯ or ¡®Sorry but I''m still working on this one.¡¯


    I smiled and made sure that I would always respect the notes. I also wondered how a ghost was able to eat snacks, drink drinks, play games, read and such. But it was probably for reasons that I would not really be able to understand and let it be.


    Sadly, though at the moment I did not feel like playing a game. Hmm... I decided to look over the notes to see if he had recommended one for me to read.


    I walked over to the shelves and was delighted to see that there were more notes on these. He had series grouped together and seemed to have little comments for some of the series. I decided that the series with notes would be what I read first.


    One note in particular was written in bright pink and it read ¡®Here is the rest of that series you asked about!  When you finish it, Achievement Unlocked¡¯.


    ¡°Thank you¡± I say, it felt like my shy note writing ghost was my friend here, my first friend aside from the cats.


    I twirl a lock of my hair around my finger as I look at the series and wonder what I was in the mood for. I know I had asked about this series, but I think I want something with a different tone.


    Did I feel like a comedy with romance elements? ¡®This was one of the first series that I read. :)¡¯ was on the series Soaring High Hostess Club, ¡®I loved the leads in this one¡¯ on the Neko Sama! series.


    I grinned. I had read a little bit in that series and I agreed. I loved how strong the female was and the kind persistence of the male lead. Instead, though, I decided on one that he wrote, ¡®I love this love story. I''m a boy, I cried, and I am not ashamed!¡¯ That made me smile and I even laughed a bit.


    "I will never shame anyone for what they read. And now I know you are a boy. How about you tell me your name next?" I asked.


    And I think to myself, oh good I was using the correct pronouns, that is very important after all. I noticed he was responding to my comments, so I will continue talking out loud to myself. No, to him.

 Chapter 10: Puppet

    I grab the first book in the series he said made him cry and settle in. The story was about a young woman who was bullied and horribly mistreated by her peers and family.


    After being hit one too many times she runs into the woods, taking nothing with her. She knew that she might die but didn''t care. She felt no one cared about her and wondered why she should.


    She walks deeper into the forest and stumbles upon a placid lake. Something about the cool sapphire color soothes her, pulling her in, drawing her gaze into its depths. She gets entranced, thinking she saw gold and silver rippling in the waves.


    As she stares deeply into it she feels hands pushing against her back and falls in. At first she feels herself drowning, air escaping her mouth, lungs burning. She closes her eyes and gives into the sensation and wakes up in a new world, full of bright colors, and a young man was looking down at her, asking if she was alright.


    Tears were filling my eyes and I sat and sipped at the drink I had taken out of the mini fridge. It was the last few sips. I set the book down on the chair and decided to take some space, to let my emotions calm down.


    I decided that I needed to finish exploring the cabin, being a perfectionist I couldn¡¯t leave the job incomplete, time to go check out the attic.


    As I walked through the hall, I noticed a new sticky note on the door. It simply read, ¡®Noah¡¯.


    My heart did a little skip, now that I knew his name it felt more intimate and that I could now call him a friend. ¡°Name learned, achievement unlocked?¡± I ask him.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Noah stood by the door to the basement and felt such relief when he saw the lights turn on. He felt apprehensive, but also knew instinctively that she was safe.


    Noah decided that while she was doing the laundry he was going to have a bit of fun and leave her some little notes in places that he thought she was likely to go. She had seemed interested in his little reading nook so he was going to leave all the notes he could think of, using every pen color he had, it was a must!


    He smiled as he worked through noting has magna, remembering all the stories and how they helped him to feel better at his lowest points. He didn''t know why Aurora was here, but he caught her looking sad and lonely and wanted to do little things for her so knew she wasn¡¯t alone.


    He was a bit startled when she entered the library as he was just finishing up his notes. He watched as she walked the isles and was very curious to find out what she would end up doing.


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    He stood nearby and was delighted when she went to his area and looked around. Was she going to play a game? Was she going to read? If so, what?


    He had a cute and shy smile on his face when she responded out loud to his notes. When she asked what his name was he paused and stood still. Should he tell her? Was she really so curious about him?


    Making up his mind, he went to his room, and on the door wrote a sticky note that read "Noah". All the note writing wore him out, but he was happy as he realized it was significantly more than he had been able to do in the past. He went into his room, laid on his bed and closed his eyes.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    I leave the sticky note there. I liked having a make-shift nameplate for his room. I wondered about the other rooms that had items in them. I didn''t think that the other ghosts had reached out to me. So I asked, trying to make sure that I wasn''t being rude, "Noah, are you the only ghost here right now?"


    After speaking out loud I got the sense that no one, not even my cinnamon-roll note writing Noah, was listening to me right now. It was something about the silence, it was more oppressive and soul crushing, but it was not worth thinking about. I dismiss the thought with a, remember it is a haunted house, haunted house!


    The other rooms indicated that there were more occupants, probably ghosts, but I didn¡¯t sense them around. It was almost like they weren¡¯t here yet. No, it was more like they were still asleep?


    I didn''t know how that made sense, but I honestly didn''t understand how any of this made sense. My head began to hurt, so before going to the attic I went down a floor and into my room.


    I flopped down onto the bed and closed my eyes. While I wished for restful sleep this alluded me. While napping my brain decided that it was anxious and was going to bring up bad memories.


    I sit alone in my room, my hands over my ears wishing that it would stop. I ignore the blood running down my arm from where a glass hit me and shattered.


    I ran downstairs as my parents started screaming at each other even louder. I don''t know who threw the glass, and I don''t even know if they were aiming at me.


    My hands couldn''t block out the sound, so I opened up my closet and crawled into it. I had a lot of pillows and blankets stacked in there in a way to make it my own little nest. I reach underneath one of the piles and pull out a Walkman CD Disk player and slip the headphones over my ears.


    I listened to my music and pretended that nothing existed outside of my closet. I even had a sheet hanging down when you open the closet for that extra added layer of protection against the outside world. After the headphones were over my ears I reached under another pile and pulled out my first aid kit and start taking care of my cuts.


    Darkness.


    "Do you really plan to be a dancer with that body? I think that you have put on some weight recently, don''t you? Well, that''s nothing we can''t take care of. We will just have you go for a run before you can have dinner."


    I nod and go outside and run in the rain, doing my best to keep from having water splashed on me by the cars that go by infrequently. My foot slips out from under me and I fall, choosing to fall forward onto my hands rather than risking twisting an ankle. I hold my hands up and let the rain wash over them, cleaning the mud and blood off.


    Darkness.


    An eerie sort of music starts to play, without realizing it my body moves dancing in line with the rhythm. My movements are smooth and graceful, my limbs drawn out in perfect lines.


    I spin and twirl with my shadowed partner, not touching but within arm¡¯s length. The lights flicker, causing distortions.


    A lightbulb creaks and then shatters above me, and glass shards sprinkle down around me causing a familiar cut on my arm. When I look up, I see wires, they are connected to my wrists, elbows, knees, and ankles.


    Finally, a razor thin one was loosely looped around my neck. I know that as long as I follow the movements that are demanded by the wires, the one around my neck won''t get pulled.


    I dance keeping pace to the music, but it starts to grow faster. My movements get sharper, jerkier, I feel them losing their grace.


    The music starts to shriek as it plays too quickly, shadows start closing in, distorted faces in the crowd. I see a pair of red eyes moving through the crowd. I watch them and turn my foot wrong, falling, the wire around my throat tightens across my skin and...

 Chapter 11: On the Roof

    I wake up in a cold sweat, and my hands go to my throat. The memories that morphed into a nightmare lingering in my mind.


    Tears streak my face. It seems that I had been crying in my sleep. Ugh how embarrassing. I Check the time. It was late in the evening. I knew that I would not be doing any more cleaning, but I still wanted to look at the attic.


    I walk back up the stairs, go to the end of the hall, and pull down the chord, a set of stairs swing down. It was a bit of a stretch to reach the first step hanging in the air, but I managed, and climb up into the attic.


    I sneeze a few times from the dust up there. Jeeze, I will need to clean this place! That will be on the docket for tomorrow.


    I find a light switch and flip it on. I take a glance around and see that there were large windows going all along the walls, showing a gorgeous view outside. I bet this is a beautiful sight when it is fully dark, and stars dot the sky.


    I pull my eyes back inside and keep looking around. I see a door leading into a separate room, which I find interesting. I don''t often think of there being separate rooms in an attic.


    I walk over to it and try to turn the doorknob. Not only was it locked but it felt like a shock ran up my arm. I quickly pull my hand away, rubbing my arm. I then shake it out and take a few steps back.


    I did not like the way that felt, and I can''t understand what happened. Right, right, a haunted house. Why wouldn''t it have warded rooms?


    I shake my head and decide to look around the rest of the area. My eyes fall on a telescope, star charts, chairs and warm blankets. Seems that the owner of this place has a fondness for stargazing.


    I do as well, although I have never used a telescope. A little ways past the equipment is a hatch. I open it and climb out and find myself on the roof, a cool evening breeze blowing through my hair.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Noah wonders to himself if he is the only ghost here right now? He didn''t know why but the other ones weren¡¯t awake yet, a bunch of slackers sleeping all year.


    He remembers all of them sitting together being told that there would be new people coming to the cabin. How did she say the rest of them would wake up? He sits in his room trying to remember.


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    Maybe the person telling him wasn''t sure. Was it something about the length of time since they had been dead? Was it how long the new caretakers were around? Or something about how close of a relationship the people end up having with the ghosts here?


    They all felt vaguely right, but he decided that it doesn''t matter. He writes a quick note telling Aurora he needed a nap and that he hoped he hadn¡¯t missed anything. He leaves his room and sticks the note on her door and hears crying.


    Noah, being shy and awkward, is uncertain what to do. He knows there is specific protocol for helping a crying girl but he knew none of it, so he waits outside of her door. After a few minutes he tries the door anyway but realizes he couldn¡¯t enter without permission.


    Noah wondered to himself if he was actually a vampire and if he would need to drink blood. He thought about it for only a moment, eww.


    When he sees her leave the room, he is relieved and follows her. He had decided to forgo the nap thinking Aurora needed company more than he needed rest.


    He winces when she gets shocked and then stands with her on the roof hoping that his presence was a comfort.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Standing there, wind blowing through my hair I felt my head clearing and my spirits lifting. I did not need to be held down by my past, by the memories that have haunted me, or by my nightmares. "I''m letting it all go!" I shout into the wind and laugh.


    I almost felt like singing about how free I felt at that moment, but decided against it. I laugh at how close I came to singing a very popular song but chose to let it go instead.


    I walk to the edge of the roof and look down. It was only then that I realized how high up this roof is. I shudder but sit down anyway and let my feet hang down over the edge.


    I know that at some points in my life the thought of jumping would have been strongly on my mind, plaguing me and ruining the moment. I chose not to let it, and it worked.


    I was truly able to just enjoy this moment, looking out over a sea of green trees. Wafting on the wind was the fresh smell of newly blooming flowers. Spring was here and I was all for it.


    I know that for some spring symbolizes new romance, the sweetness of it. To me, in this moment, I felt that spring had come to me in a different way. This was a new chance, a new start, a time for reflection and growth.


    "I''m... I''m unsure how to let myself grow." I say into the wind. It might have been only my imagination, but it felt that there was someone with me at this moment, and I took comfort from it.


    "I know that I was supposed to be getting to know myself and discover my own hopes and dreams away from the pressures of other people and life, but I am glad that I am not alone.


    The thought of being alone was supposed to comfort me. It did, but only the thought of getting away from the negative influences in my life. But Noah, if you can hear me, I don''t think that you being here is a negative thing at all.


    Your notes give me warmth, a warmth that has been missing from my life for a while now. I know that I haven¡¯t been here for even a week, and I can''t even see you, but still¡­ Still... Thank you."


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Thank you. Had he ever heard those words said to him in such a way before? Noah stopped to think about it and came to realize that he hadn¡¯t.


    Most people hadn''t been thankful towards Noah, they didn¡¯t say it but he knew he was a burden. Instead, Noah held a lot of gratitude for the people that had been in his life.


    The doctors, nurses, his parents, and the other people that had shared rooms with him and that had been willing to talk with him. Being the one to be there for another person was a new sensation for Noah, a new experience, and one that he liked very much.


    ***********************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 12: Grilled Cheeses

    I sit there for a while longer before flopping onto my back and looking up at the sky. Since it was Spring and not the heart of summer the sky was getting dark and there was a spattering of stars in the sky.


    There wasn''t any light pollution out here so I could see the sky in all its glory. I knew that I would only be able to enjoy these few hours of darkness for another month or two. Out where I was the summer sun was almost always up, and when it wasn¡¯t the sky hardly darkened as the sun hovered not far off.


    After I got my fill of fresh air, I hear my stomach growl and feel some warmth come into my cheeks. It doesn''t matter if I am happy, or sad my stomach would always demand food.


    It wasn¡¯t as bad as it used to be, until recently I was on a rather restrictive diet. Now I could eat whatever I wanted, somehow this brought me less happiness than I always thought it would.


    I groan as I sit-up and pull my feet off of the roof¡¯s edge. Well, I have to feed the cats as well. If it was only me, I might have stayed here a bit longer, but I had other living beings to think about other than myself.


    Once on my feet I wipe all the debris off myself. I look around me and wonder if it was worth sweeping the roof. I should look around to see if there is anything I can bring up to create myself a little nest.


    Right! It seemed as though there were things by the telescope for that purpose. I nod to myself. Sure, it would be nice to clean the roof as well, but the attic alone would be a chore and a half. I didn''t want to think of any cleaning projects outside of that.


    I wonder to myself if I am going to end up coming across anything interesting while cleaning the attic. I don''t want to be disrespectful by digging through other people¡¯s personal belongings.


    Also, I had seen enough horror movies to know better than to mess around with items found in an attic in a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. I got in enough trouble with the basement today ¡°nice attic. You are a very nice attic¡± I say to the room.


    I get the sense I went unnoticed, but that wouldn¡¯t always be the case.


    It was good to know that I had developed some self-preservation as it had been missing in my life for a little while. I knew it and didn''t like to acknowledge that fact. I had enough reminders¡­


    Anyways, time to go feed myself and the cute little kitties, Anubis and Bastet. I was still trying to process the fact that those two could talk.


    I have been reading a lot of stories where characters transmigrated. Is that what was happening here with me? I doubted it, isekai stories didn¡¯t often include paperwork and contracts, but I would be fine if that was the case.


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    I make my way down to the kitchen, sneezing from the attic dust on the way down to the first floor. I keep myself alert to see if I can spot the cats on the way.


    I didn''t see them but decided to fill up their bowls and assume that they would come eat when they were ready to. After filling their bowls, I stand there wondering what I want.


    I ended up settling on grilled cheese and tomato soup made with milk. I prefer it creamy, especially when I am wanting to warm myself up.


    I hum to myself as I cook, I somehow missed their approach as the two cats were already at their bowls.


    "Food!" Anubis says and then sticks his face into his bowl and happily munches away.


    "Thank you for the food." Bastet says and delicately starts eating.


    I¡¯m not sure how you delicately eat food face first, but she managed. I love how much of a personality each of these two have.


    "Oh, should we have waited for you?" she asks, lifting her face away from her bowl.


    "Oh no, by all means please keep eating. It makes me happy to see the both of you enjoying your food so much." Their ears and tails twitched contentedly. They were so cute I just wanted to scoop them up.


    "Sleep after food?" Anubis asks, mouth half full.


    "I plan to, yes" I answered him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk with your mouthful Nubi, humans find that rude¡± Bastet gently comments.


    "Sorry Tet, so many new things.¡±


    ¡°I really don¡¯t mind it¡± Aurora says in response, trying not to yawn and failing.


    ¡°We sleep in bed with you? Warm and comfy together." Anubis says and purrs at his own statement.


    Who could say no to such an adorable request? "Of course."


    It doesn¡¯t take me much longer to finish cooking and setting my food on the table. I look across from me and think about setting down a plate for Noah, but I couldn''t even see him and honestly, do ghosts even eat?


    I thought about it some more and set down an empty plate for him, to make it feel like we were all eating together. What a warm and happy thought.


    After I finish my food, I gather up all of the dishes, and bring them to the sink. I wash and put them all away before going upstairs to bed.


    I couldn''t stand the thought of leaving dirty dishes in the sink. A memory tries to surface in my mind and I shout ¡°NO! There have been enough memories already today, instead I¡¯m going to think about how good I am going to sleep tonight.¡±


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Noah felt touched by the gesture of Aurora setting out a plate for him. He thinks that it would be better if he could actually eat the food, but he was happy just to be included.


    "Maybe if I get stronger and can materialize?" he asks himself. Noah followed Aurora upstairs planning on continuing to his room on the third floor, he thought it was like walking her home.


    Noah paused for a moment after passing into his room, good thing he didn¡¯t need the door as it was too heavy to open. Something itched.


    Noah sits at the dining room table waiting for his parents to show up. He knew they were both busy today and had been frustrated lately.


    Noah wanted to do something nice for them, so he cooked dinner for all of them to enjoy together. Unfortunately, Noah didn¡¯t know how to cook many things so he settled for making grilled cheese and tomato soup. But Noah thought he made darn good grilled cheese and tomato soup, nodding to himself with the thought.


    Noah sat at the table excited at first, his parents were really going to like this. His excitement slowly wore off though as he watched the clock tick.


    Five minutes passed but he thought, that¡¯s okay, I can still microwave it.


    Ten minutes passed but he thought, that¡¯s okay, I can always warm it up on the stove.


    After another ten minutes passed Noah took his plate and warmed up his food. While eating he thought, that¡¯s okay, I don''t mind eating alone.


    The last thing he did before going to bed was leave a note on the fridge ¡®I made food, enjoy!¡¯


    ***********************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 13: Not Ballet

    I awake feeling refreshed, but also trapped. Why do my legs feel so heavy? I look down at my legs and see that there are two cats laying on me.


    One across my thighs, which caused the heavy feeling, and the other was snuggled on my chest, almost right underneath my chin. I am not normally able to sleep when I feel confined or trapped, so I am rather impressed with this whole situation.


    "Stop moving" says Anubis. Stretching out my legs had jostled him a bit. "Want to sleep more. So warm." he starts needing the blankets.


    "Hey, be careful with your claws or you will no longer be allowed to sleep in here." I say.


    His paws move up and down on the blanket and I see that he has retracted his claws. ¡°Good kitty¡±.


    I reach out both of my hands and the kitties rub against them. What a nice morning. I had heard that animals can have a soothing effect and in my experience this is so.


    "Okay both of you go on out. I''m gonna get cleaned up before I make breakfast." I tell them.


    They were very compliant and left the room. Such good kitties. I walk into the bathroom and wonder if I want to take a shower or a bath.


    I think about a hot shower and standing under the water, but my body feels like moving, I guess a shower will have to wait. I feel a little embarrassed to have kicked them out after deciding that I wasn¡¯t going to bathe yet.


    Instead, I put on some exercise clothes, throw my hair up into a ponytail and get ready to work up a good appetite. I didn''t expect that the cats would want to wait until I am done exercising to eat so I make sure that I feed them before I do any exercise.


    "Okay". I say to myself. "Start with a run then do some stretches and a few dance routines?" I ask myself.


    "Yes self, that seems good." I say and laugh.


    I take out my music player, thankful I had one besides my phone, slip the headphones over my ears and make my way outside. "You can join me if you wish Noah."


    I make it to the door and realize that I don''t know my way around the outside. "Okay, let''s just do two laps around the cabin."


    I used to be able to run a lot more, but my body wasn''t in the best condition at the moment. I start easy and up the speed just a little. I end up doing an extra lap, just walking it to let my heart slow a bit and give me a chance to catch my breath. I push down the frustration at being so winded, but I want to keep going until I collapse.


    When I get back inside, I chug down some water a little too fast. "Gah, brain freeze, stomach cramp!"


    I press my tongue hard against the roof of my mouth and grab my stomach. This used to be something that I would complain about but now it''s refreshing. "Woo okay, now to stretch and dance.¡±


    I walk into the dance studio and begin to stretch out. Touch my toes, stretch my legs side to side, loosen my hips, roll my neck around, do a backbend, and then a slow back walk over.


    "Okay then, let''s dance. Noah if you are in here watch close so that you can be my dance partner, eh?"


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    I plug my music player into the sound system, grin and turn it on nice and loud. "Okay here we go!" I smile and close my eyes and do a quick spin with my arms out.


    I¡¯m surprised as I lose myself in the music, particularly after yesterday, but it all fades away. I danced: for the broken child that I was, for the person I had been becoming, the wreck of a person that I was now, and the woman I hoped to be.


    I didn''t have a set that I was dancing to, I just let my music go on shuffle and challenged myself to dance to whatever came on next. It was pure bliss.


    I lose the feelings of not being good enough or being scared and alone. Dance never asked me to be something I wasn''t or someone I wasn''t. It was just a time and way that I could feel free.


    My home life sucked, school wasn''t great, and friendships ended up being empty. Growing up I didn''t even really think about dating as I never knew how long we would end up living somewhere. Dance never abandoned me, turned its back on me. It was my escape, my sanctuary.


    "Hi sweety, what are you doing in here?"  Momma asks me, with Daddy standing right next to her.


    "I am a ballerina!" I tell them proudly.  I had a couple of my skirts put on, one on top of the other, to try to make a poofy skirt.  "Want to see me dance?" I asked them excitedly.


    "We would love to watch you dance sweetie.  Just wait one moment." Daddy says, and runs off somewhere.  While he is gone Momma walks over to me.


    "While Daddy is gone, want me to put your hair up like a ballerina?"


    "Yes!" I say, bouncing on the balls of my feet.


    Ballerinas were so pretty and I wanted to be just as pretty.  Momma has me sit on the bed facing the wall so she could do my hair.  She grabs all of my wavy hair and pulls it up into a bun on the top of my head.


    Not long after Momma finishes Daddy enters the room with a CD and a tape recorder.  He walks over and puts the CD in and hits play.  It was music from the nutcracker!  Momma loves that movie and plays it a lot in the winter.


    "Let''s see how pretty you can dance!" says Daddy as he starts recording.


    I spin, and hop and try to do the moves that I saw them do on the movie I had just watched.


    "Our little girl is so talented." says Momma.  "Do you want to take some dance classes?"


    "Yes!"


    "It sure is a good thing they signed me up for a lot of different dance types. I really hate ballet." I say, and give a good natured laugh.


    A few times in my life I almost became jaded towards it because of everything that my parents demanded of me, and the way they looked at me. It was hard. But even when I wanted to be angry when the music started that was all it took. It took me away from my thoughts, my feelings... My everything.


    All too soon the music stops, and my body gives out. "Ugh I wanted to dance longer but I guess that this is where I must stop for today. Well, nothing for it.¡±


    I slowly get back onto my feet and make my way into the kitchen. "At least I worked up an appetite. That''s always a good feeling."


    I whip up some eggs and bacon and end up feeding a good portion of the bacon to the cats. I didn''t mind sharing. I knew I was going to have a bit of trouble keeping food down after exercising so much.


    After eating I stay sitting for a little bit and just let my mind wander. I wonder what it would be like to be a ghost. Is it lonely? Do you feel cold? Do you get tired? After pondering for a little while I go back into the library and snuggle into the nook.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    Noah follows along with Aurora''s day as best he could. He can¡¯t remember the last time someone had asked him to run.


    He wasn''t able to run much when he was alive as he was too weak from all of his medical conditions. It''s a little hard to run when you are attached to an IV, and that frustrated him.


    He had always enjoyed having his character''s run around in games when the game allowed it. He could now do his best to join and that thought got his ghostly heart beating with excitement.


    It felt easy to run along with Aurora. Noah thought to himself that it was probably because he didn''t have a body and he laughed at that thought.


    He saw that Aurora was pushing herself and became a little worried. He didn¡¯t know what happened, but he was familiar enough with rehabilitation to tell that she had recently needed some. All he could do though is stay by her and hope she could somewhat feel his presence.


    When she went into the dance studio, he worried a little more, last time had not ended so well. Maybe she would be a little better today? He hoped so.


    When Aurora spoke to Noah and asked him to watch and learn so that he could dance with her he felt a familiar heat in his cheeks. That shouldn''t be possible as he didn''t have cheeks or even blood for that matter.


    Even though he felt embarrassed he did watch her dance. He watched very closely indeed. He had no idea how to join, but he wanted to learn. He wanted to dance with her, to join in as she looked so beautiful and to be part of that would be wonderful.


    When she stopped dancing, he felt disappointed. If he had been able to, he would have gone on ThouTube to look up partner dances.


    But alas he was unable to do more than pick up a pen to leave notes. And even that took a lot of energy. He thought about all of this while she ate and mentally rehearsed the dance moves he remembered.


    When Aurora went to read, he sat as well and thought about things. He remembered the books that she was reading and all of the emotions that he had felt while reading them. Being able to be there for someone, to help them heal emotionally. And to fall in love¡­ Oh there is that heat again, how very strange.


    **********************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 14 - Bath Part 1

    I settled into the chair and open back to the last page that I had read. I made sure that I was comfortable because I wasn''t planning on getting up for a while.


    Okay, I am gonna steal just one more drink from Noah''s mini fridge. I didn''t know why but I had a feeling that he might be back to drink them. It made no sense so that made it better in my book.


    Okay now back to reading. I was ready to see what was going to happen next.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    She had fallen into the water and ended up on the other side, wet and confused. Looking down at her was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.


    He had long blue hair that was tied back with a silver ribbon. He had gold eyes which shone like the gold she had seen in the water.


    "Am I dead?" she asked, looking up into those eyes.


    She wasn''t sure if she would really mind being dead. What did she have back on the other side of the water anyways?


    "Not that I know of." He rubs his cheek as he looks down at her. "Are you a water spirit?" he asks.


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    After that introduction she explains what had led up to her ending up in front of him. He takes off the cloak that he had been wearing and wraps it around her.


    It was nice that it seemed that she wasn''t going to be a Mary Sue character. The male lead wasn''t going to fall in love immediately. While I love reading about love it is always better when it is built upon a strong foundation.


    I kept reading for a while making it through the first two volumes of the manga. ¡°That is enough emotions for today. It is a good series though.¡± I add in case Noah is nearby.


    I return the two books to the shelf and go to make some lunch. I fill the cat¡¯s bowls with dry food and eat a light meal myself. I stretch out stiff muscles and go to clean the attic.


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    This time, I am careful not to touch the locked door. Just being near it gives me bad feelings, as though something is going to slash me to bits then eat me. I shudder and rub my arms.


    That would be a truly awful way to die, and not one that I am keen on experiencing. I dust and scrub everything until it smells clean and looks polished. When I am done, I lay on the floor. It has been a long day, my body throbs in accord.


    I eat dinner then sit at the table and fill out the journal. I add details about the cute notes that were left around me as well as the negative feeling I got from the basement and attic.


    I don''t add my thoughts or any possible speculation and keep to the facts. This is what I did, what I saw, what I cleaned blah blah. I don''t know what the owner of the cabin will or will not find important, so I make sure to be thorough.


    It had been a while since I had exercised so hard and thinking about it, I had probably done too much too fast. I sigh. It had been things that I never used to have trouble with.


    Even when I had been injured or sick, I had still been expected to at least run until I couldn''t. Those days had been awful, and because I had been able to push through that, I thought... I was very wrong.


    I know that it was too early to go to bed, but I didn''t really care all that much. I dragged myself up to my room.


    I looked into the bathroom and to the bathtub. It looked so inviting but I was also worried about falling asleep in the tub. That could end very badly very fast.


    Breathing water into your lungs was a bad way to die for sure, and I doubted a golden eyed male lead would save me. I shook my head and all thoughts of that away. I would just have to stay awake.


    I close the bathroom door and call out, "I''m gonna take a bath now and go to sleep. Thank you for your company today".


    I didn''t know how much Noah had or had not been around me today. But, It was always important to say thank you when you were grateful to someone. Noah had been there for me, leaving me notes, and trying to make his presence known.


    It was sweet and I wanted to make sure he knew it. Also, I wanted to make sure that he didn''t accidentally come in here while I was bathing. That would be uncomfortable, ghost or not peeping is peeping.


    After shouting that I was going to take a bath I began to fill the tub with salts and bubble bath. I watch as some of the salt puffs into the air and the bubble bath changes the color of the water.


    I climb in and watch as the water level gets higher. Part of the water swirls in a dark red familiar color before fading to pink. I see it and slam my eyes closed and listen to the sound. I block out everything and just listen to the sound of water.


    I let my mind slip away into positive memories I have of being in or around water. The warmth spreads as the water inches its way up my body. I breathe out and as the air crosses my teeth and I let go.


    ¡°Hey, toss her over here!¡¯


    ¡°Haha she is cute as a button and so small. How old are you again?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m five!¡± I said so proudly, grinning and showing off a smile that was missing one of its top front teeth.


    ¡°Five huh. Guess we have to toss you back and forth at least four more times!¡±


    I laughed out of pure joy. I was having fun with some of the older kids that were in the neighborhood in the out-door pool. I laughed the loudest right before sucking in a big breath of air before they flipped me into the water.


    I dunk myself fully under the water, tucking my knees up to my chest and sinking down, down, down to the bottom of the bathtub. I had no idea why it suddenly felt so deep.


    Huh, how strange. I sit there like that until the burning in my lungs causes me to pull myself back up. I sit on one of the raised seating areas of the tub. It was seriously one huge tub.


    Had the tub always been this big and this deep when I had first got into it? Or were things in the cabin shifting and moving around me? It was a curious thought but one I chose not to entertain at the moment, I was getting used to that.

 Chapter 15 - Bath Part 2

    Honestly, I knew so little about everything around me that I didn¡¯t want to start making assumptions. Oh! But I was supposed to keep record of the strange things that happen here and around me.


    Well, if things are changing then I wonder what it is that is causing the changes. I am going to stop thinking so hard and go back to relaxing.


    I want to remake baths into being a thing of comfort and not of.. Blargh, no this is exactly what I don¡¯t want. I scrub shampoo into my hair vigorously as if to scrub away all negativity and all bad thoughts. I sink back down into the water to let it clear out.


    ¡°Hey there, you want to be careful not to fall in. The river here moves quickly and you could get really hurt if you fall in you know.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I didn¡¯t think about it. I should stop hopping across the river on these rocks then huh?¡±


    ¡°Yes, that would be great. I came over here to ponder and get away from homework and what do I find? Some stupid kid hopping back and forth on rocks trying to break her silly little head.¡±


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not a kid!¡± I shout and almost start pouting but then realize pouting is something that a kid would do, and I would be proving him right. I was too clever for that. I make my way across to the side of the river that I should be on.


    ¡°Why were you doing that anyways?¡±


    ¡°Because I want to learn better balance of course. A dancer is supposed to be poised, at all times. Also, I am not allowed to come back into the house until it gets dark. Which I didn¡¯t mind because I like it outside, it¡¯s quiet, there is no yelling. I didn¡¯t think about how dangerous jumping on the rocks could be.¡±


    ¡°Your parents suck then. Here come sit with me.¡±


    He looked about my age, so I sat down next to him. ¡°Do you know what else takes skill?¡± he asked. I became wary. What if he has bad intentions?


    ¡°Skipping rocks!¡± he says and throws one out across the water. I watched and it looked like it was flying. It skipped once, twice... Four times! I wanted to be able to do that as well.


    I pick up a rock and try to throw it. He reached over to me and moves my had on the rock.


    ¡°You have to hold it like this in order to let it fly.¡± He told me.


    I nod and flick it. It was beautiful as it bounced and skipped across the water. I smile at him. He blushed a bit and clears his throat.


    ¡°That¡¯s how it¡¯s done.¡±


    We sit in silence for a little while just quietly thinking. When I decided to break the silence, I turn to him and say. ¡°My name is Aurora. What¡¯s yours?¡±


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    He opens his mouth about to respond when my phone goes off. ¡°Aurora get back home now. Where the hell have you been, I looked everywhere for you! You stupid brat, I shouldn¡¯t have to look for you.¡±


    His shouting made me scared, but I knew that it would get worse the longer I was away. I knew he had been drinking, I hated this. We had only moved here a few weeks ago and I wanted to make a friend here.


    ¡°I¡¯m Alex.¡± He says. ¡°I hope I get to see you again.¡±


    I nod, look around the ground and pick up the smoothest rock that I was able to find, and I slip it into my pocket before running home.


    Well at least that had started out as a good memory. I will take that as a win. I nod and look around me. I absentmindedly put more repairing conditioner in my hair, it is supposed to do good things if you just let it sit for a while.


    I sit and let my vision blur with a few more tears. Why couldn¡¯t I have more control over my mind. If I did then I wouldn¡¯t be worried about having bad memories, and letting the depression pull me down into the black.


    I would be able to enjoy life more, laugh louder and I¡¯m sure that colors would even look more vibrant. Or that¡¯s what I¡¯ve heard at least.


    As my mood drops my eyes fall closed again but this time it does not feel like a choice at all. I try to fight and fight hard. It shouldn¡¯t be so hard to fight, but it was. I feel myself sliding back into the water.


    The water is so black and dark. I am soon completely submerged in its icy chill. It had been warm, hadn¡¯t it? Or had it always been so cold?


    It felt as though my blood was cooling, growing sluggish and starting to freeze. My veins had turned to ice, or maybe all of me was made of ice now. I wonder if that thought scares me?


    As I am thinking that maybe I wasn¡¯t all that scared it felt as though there was something wrapping around my neck. Something strong, long tendrils easily wrapping entirely around my throat, and it was pulling me down!


    I hit the bottom hard. It holds for a moment, but shatters into fragments of glass. I thought for a moment that I was watching visions of my life, but that wasn¡¯t it at all. Each shard held one of the hopes that I had for the future, some of the things that I had wanted.


    I reach out trying to seize them, but they slice into my hands. Even then, they still slip through my fingers disappearing and fading into smoke. I don¡¯t even have time to register them.


    I try to move, to struggle, to get back to the surface. My arm barely responds, moving only an inch or two before creaking to a stop. I could feel my blood starting to expand as it froze. It pierced through my veins, small red shards sticking out of my arms.


    More tendrils reach out of the darkness. At first, I can only feel them as they further wrap around me. I could no longer turn my head. I wanted to know what it was, but then I saw it.


    My mind shudders, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. I desperately wanted to close my eyes but had lost even that ability. Vast tendrils came out of nowhere, shifting, moving, somehow being in more than one place at once.


    It blinked, oh gods how it blinked so many times. As countless eyes appeared across the tendrils. One by one they shifted to stare at me, through me. It felt like I was fading as if they were somehow eating into me. My past, my futures, me! Fragmenting and shattering, fading into smoke.


    And¡­ It was gone, as if it never was. Something else was there now.


    ¡®Why?¡¯ I want to say but I can¡¯t for fear of breathing in the water. Was I even in water anymore? It had begun to feel as though I was in oil.


    I was freezing and being encased in it. Eventually I would need to breathe and then I would die here, and no one would know what happened to me. I feel the grip tighten and I fight and open my eyes to see my enemy.


    It was dark like the inky blackness. When it opens its mouth as if to devour me, I see all of my blackest thoughts and worst memories in there. I feel it moving closer to me, this thing I call depression, this thing that sits on my chest and tells me that I am not good enough. I just didn¡¯t realize that I could feel it like this.


    I start to panic, thinking about all of this and feeling like my body is too heavy to lift when...


    ¡°Ouch!¡± I exclaim, back to sitting. Did I fall asleep and have a nightmare? And what hurt? I shake off my disorientation and see a pair of bright yellow eyes staring at me.


    ¡°Bastet bites you to bring you back. Bastet likes you, Bastet saves you. Anubis stayed in your room because he is a boy and can¡¯t stay in here.¡± She tips her head as if she was trying to think of something. ¡°Oh yeah. He also stayed out there to calm down your ghost. He felt a shift in the cabin and became scared for you.¡±

 Chapter 16- Saved by the Cat

    Noah sits with her while she reads and gets lost in his own thoughts. He remembered how he got those books¡­


    Noah had been in the hospital again after his body gave out. He had been wanting to run around and play with the other kids and kick the soccer ball around.


    He managed to play for about twenty minutes before his body fell to the ground. He started spasming and couldn¡¯t catch his breath. He knew that he shouldn¡¯t try to play, that his lungs were underdeveloped or something.


    He had been born three months pre-mature and was not given very good odds of living. Of course, Noah didn¡¯t care what anyone else said and he tried to live his life to the fullest extent. Tried being the key word.


    ¡°Noah!¡± his mom screamed and ran to him, having seen him collapse and seize. She had wanted to let him play for a little while.


    Her and her husband both had demanding jobs, making it hard for her to let Noah go out to play. She knew that it couldn¡¯t be good for his development to be hovering over him all the time. She knew to watch for the signs that he wasn¡¯t doing well, but she must have missed them this time.


    She felt like an awful mom, and she ran over to the thirteen-year-old Noah. She scoops him up and gets him in the car immediately, shouting a quick apology to the kids he had been playing with. She hoped that this incident didn¡¯t scare them too badly, she really wanted him to have friends.


    Noah was brought to the hospital and was checked in quickly to his normal room. By that point he wasn¡¯t sure if he lived at home or at the hospital. His mom wanted to stay with him for a bit longer, but she was unable to as she had a case for a big-name client that she could not be late to. She hated leaving him alone and Noah knew that.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay mom, I know you have to go. I love you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I have to leave you alone again Noah. But I bought you something. It is in the car. I¡¯m going to go get it for you, so just wait here okay?¡±


    She hugged him as she left the nurses started prepping him for something. He was out of it and never thought to ask. He didn¡¯t want to know and closed his eyes.


    When he had come to there they were, the first books of the series.


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    Noah shook his head, wondering how long he had been out this time. He realized that when he loses himself time often passes by much faster than when he is awake.


    It looked like Aurora was going to stop reading now. He walked along beside her and read over her shoulder as she wrote in her journal. It was acceptable because it was just a journal, and not a diary. His notes making her happy embarrassed him so much that he closed his eyes tight.


    When he opened them he was back in his room. ¡°Mmmrrghhh.¡± He exclaims. He was so embarrassed that he poofed and he was also embarrassed for having poofed.


    Poofing is what he called it when his emotions overwhelmed him, and he pops back into his room from wherever he had been. He groans and is glad that Aurora can¡¯t see him.


    As he is leaving his room, to see where she is and what she is doing, he hears her shout that


    she is going to take a bath and not to follow. He feels his cheeks grow warm, and dashes back to his room.


    ¡°Eep. I hope she doesn¡¯t think that I would actually follow her into her bath! I have boundaries... And I¡¯m a gentleman... And, and¡­ I would cease to exist from the sheer embarrassment of it!¡± he stutters to himself. Then proceeds to pull the covers up over his ghostly head.


    It took several minutes for the embarrassment to fade. It was so strong he didn¡¯t notice it at first, but something was wrong. He felt a sinking feeling in his gut and had an overwhelming desire to run to Aurora.


    Not bothering to use the door he ran out into the hall and sped to the stairs. He didn¡¯t give any time or thought to what he could do, he had to do something.


    ¡°Calm down, Bastet with her. All safe.¡±


    The words didn¡¯t calm Noah down, but that stare was enough to freeze him.


    *************************************************************************************************************


    I come out of the water and sputter. For a moment I had thought that something had been holding me under the water. ¡°Bastet was there anything in the bathtub with me?¡±


    ¡°No, I could just sense that you were getting lost in your own mind. There doesn¡¯t have to be anything around to hurt you. If your own mind wants to hurt you that¡¯s something to worry about.¡± Feeling satisfied that the new human was okay she sauntered out of the room and kicked the bathroom door shut behind her.


    My own mind huh? I guess that makes sense. I never needed a haunted house before to make me paranoid when I started feeling upset, especially from memories. Any other explanation did not bode well for me, so I choose to accept it.


    I start to drain the tub. I thoroughly scrub down in the shower before pulling on some cozy pajamas. I make a warm drink and snuggle onto the couch. Normally I would read, but I knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to focus, so I was going to watch a movie.


    ¡°We join.¡± Anubis said and pushed his way onto my lap, nearly knocking the drink out of my hands. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± he says almost sticking his entire head into the mug.


    ¡°Hey now be a little more carful okay, you could accidentally end up burning the both of us and that would be no good, right?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, like warm no like burning.¡± He said in a voice that sounded a touch contrite.


    ¡°You¡¯re okay. You are a good boy.¡± I stroke him fur and am rewarded with a soft purr. It was low and soft and pleasant. I could almost fall asleep to it.


    ¡°Excuse me, but I would also appreciate pets. Love me too.¡± Bastet said and pushed her way next to me.


    I laugh softly and reach out and pet her. ¡°Good girl Bastet and very brave too. You risked water for me.¡±


    ¡°Bastet like water, I¡¯m not like most cats. But you did not know that, so it is okay.¡± She also snuggled in and starts purring. It seems on a slightly different frequency than Anubis, which somehow made the two together so much more soothing.


    ¡°Noah!¡± I call out, hoping that the loud voice doesn¡¯t cause the cats to scamper away. ¡°Come join. We are going to watch a movie and sing along to it. I am not sure if I plan to sing badly or not just yet.¡±


    I wait for a few minutes before starting it. I wasn¡¯t sure if I was doing this because I hated myself or what. I put on one of the musicals that they had been considering casting me for. Well, before I decided to leave¡­ had to leave that school for a little while and focus on myself.


    I bite my lip and decide that it might be cathartic to watch it. I would sing along well instead of badly, proving to myself that I would have deserved the role. I would have played it magnificently, though if I¡¯m being honest, I am much better at dancing then singing.

 Chapter 17 - Musicals and Garden Thoughts

    The musical was called Fading Light and was about this young woman who was brought up to believe that magic was a fantasy and that all magical creatures were myths. She had bought into this so deeply that when magical things began to happen around her, she refused to believe them.


    Every time she saw something magical and denied it, she would start to fade away. At first her denial is played off as humorous but as the musical goes on the more it is played as tragic. When she had nearly faded away it is like her eyes are opened and she is able to see a mystical world around her.


    She is given the option to seek out the dying light and come back from being a faded one. Or to fade from the living world and become part of the mystical realm. She goes through different trials looking for what the faded light could be. In the end, when she finds it, she realizes that her life hadn¡¯t made her happy. Her journey looking for the faded light had been a fun one, and she chooses to stay.


    At the end of the musical I stretch. I wonder if I should compare myself to the musical¡¯s heroine? Was I also in a mystical land, just ignoring the magical things around me? I mean, being here it did feel like I left the land of the living.


    I look down at the two cats ¡°you two would tell me if this was the land of the dead right?¡±


    Bastet looks at me, slowly blinking ¡°don¡¯t worry you would know. Anyway, you would be afraid of us. Or I would have already ferried your soul.¡± She pauses as if to go on, but instead begins licking her paw.


    ¡°We like you. Be sad if you were scared. Pet me?¡± Anubis asks while rubbing his head against my hand.


    ¡°Thanks guys, very reassuring.¡± I think? Part of me still wonders if I¡¯m dead.


    It had been a long day, and I didn¡¯t feel like I wanted to go to bed yet, but I wasn¡¯t sure what I should do. I ponder for only a moment and decide to head to the garden, but first I grab my journal. It felt like a good place to be as I went through my thoughts.


    Walking in I draw in a deep breath, enjoying the feel, and the fragrances. I let my mind wander as I sit think about what to put in today¡¯s journal entry. I wanted to stick with just the facts, but I felt that it was getting hard to decern what those were.


    I think about; people that I knew, places that I had wanted to visit, the way I thought my life could have ended up, either for better or for worse. As my mind is ought to do, it turns down dark alleys and trails.


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    Mistakes I had made and hurt I had caused. I feel the self-doubt churning in me, could I actually change my life? Would anything be different now that I left, what about after I got back? Did I even want to go back¡­ where else did I have to go?


    I don¡¯t know how long it takes, but I shake myself out of it. Deciding that these thoughts served very little purpose, I let them go and was happier for it. There was no reason for me to continue to beat myself up about my mistakes. I look at the still closed journal on the table.


    Finished thinking about the past, I turn to how my life is now. Surrounded by ghosts in a haunted house. That thought was so thrilling. I had been living in this house for a few days now, but I hadn¡¯t taken the time to think about how I felt about it.


    I mean being here is an incredible experience and one that was completely out of the blue. It also is saving me in a lot of ways. BUT! I hadn¡¯t known that I would be living with ghosts. Would I have agreed had I known?


    Now that I am here, I am not scared but instead am having fun. I enjoy seeing what little things are going to happen. I really want to know more about Noah. And are there going to be other ghosts?


    If Noah is the only one, then that¡¯s good too. But it would make it very obvious who the other living being is and that doesn¡¯t fit the experiment. Also, what about the other rooms? Clearly, they belong to other ghosts, or beings?


    No, no I don¡¯t think that Noah is the only ghost here. I think that he is the only one active, which I believe Noah had already told me. I wonder what they are going to be like? Are they going to have a cute and sweet personality like Noah? Or are they going to be vengeful and want to hurt me.


    I really hope that it isn¡¯t the later one. I am grasping at my life and wanting to take hold of it. It would really suck if it were to end now. Death by pissed off ghost, which is slightly better than death by bucket.


    That is not how I want things to end for me. On that thought though, if I die here will I become another ghost living in this place?


    ¡°Noah, if for some reason I die here will I end up becoming a ghost living here like you? And how did you end up here? Did you die here?¡± I shake my head and chastise myself.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Noah what a rude thing to ask. Please forgive me. I couldn¡¯t know but I am assuming that asking a ghost about the way they died is taboo?¡±


    *************************************************************************************************************


    Noah sits and watches the musical but finds himself watching Aurora more than the movie. He enjoyed the way she would sing along it made him feel happy. He did his best not to, but couldn¡¯t help blushing about it.


    ¡°Got to stay calm¡± Noah told himself.


    He kept trying to only pay attention to the movie, but he couldn¡¯t help himself. He was just drawn to her and couldn¡¯t help but wonder why. Was it because she was pretty? Was it because he was lonely, and she was here keeping him company? He didn¡¯t know, but as he inched his ghostly hand toward hers, he didn¡¯t care.


    When Noah hears Aurora asking if she would become a ghost like him, he felt his stomach drop  through the ground. ¡°Why are you asking that? Why are you asking me about my death and mentioning yours? Taboo! Probably but more than anything it makes me feel worried about you!¡±


    He wants to shout it at her but didn¡¯t have the confidence. He also had a strong feeling that she wouldn¡¯t be able to hear him anyways. He would just have to keep an eye on her, and hope that the little fuzz balls would do the same.


    *************************************************************************************************************

 Chapter 18: Ghosts can Talk!

    I sigh and shake my head, feeling completely foolish. Of course it was taboo to talk like that. The room has even gotten a little colder after I had asked that. I pull the blanket close to me, wrapping myself like a burrito.


    ¡°Are you cold?¡± Bastet asks me.


    ¡°We are warm. We warm you.¡± Anubis says as he climbs all over me, before I am able to give consent or not.


    It takes a little bit of adjusting but I end up sitting with both cats curled up on my lap. They were so cute, and they were also obviously attached to one another. I have never seen one without the other.


    I would say how odd but is it? I really don¡¯t know anything about talking cats. And although people tend to think of cats as solitary creatures they really aren¡¯t. They can form strong and close bonds with one another. It¡¯s really cute actually.


    I let my mind drift as I listen to their gentle purring. In one of the homes I lived in there was a pair of cats. I remember going out in the yard with pieces of fish I had snuck out for them. I wasn¡¯t able to have a pet of my own with all of the moving that we did. I would call them over and grab long pieces of grass and they would chase after me.


    I feel my body growing heavier and know that it isn¡¯t just the cats. I need to get myself to bed. I slowly slip out from under the two, hoping to not disturb them too much. I would like for them to easily be able to go back to sleep once I get to bed.


    I grab my journal and climb the stairs. When I get to my room I spin around and say, ¡°Thank you for spending time with me again Noah. Good night.¡±


    And with that I went into my room and crashed onto the bed, I flop down face first and lay there for a minute before pulling myself up with a groan. I was here to do better and I won¡¯t get through my depression if I don¡¯t take care of myself. I get off the bed, change into pajamas, wash my face and brush my teeth. ¡°There now that feels better.¡±


    I stare longingly at the bed wanting its comfy embrace, but the empty journal haunts my mind demanding to be fed. Without bothering to sit I hover over the desk quickly penning my entry. I keep it simple, and just to the facts.


    ¡°Take me into your embrace¡± I say collapsing into the bed. ¡°Ahh my one true love.¡±


    *************************************************************************************************************


    The next few days pass in much the same fashion. I clean and explore, walk laps and dance, feed me and the cats. Write in my journal, sleep, rinse and repeat. I enjoy the simple pattern.


    I feel so good as I make my way to the dance studio. That is until I begin to dance. My body feels weak, and I collapse onto the floor in the middle of a spin. I land hard on my side and wince.


    ¡°Holy crap that hurts!¡± I shout, startled by how dumb I am and frustrated by the feeling that my body must have betrayed me. Why else would I collapse?


    ¡°Aurora! Are you okay?¡±


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    ¡°Yeah Anubis I¡¯m¡­.¡± I flinch and look around.


    That didn¡¯t sound like either of the cats. I didn¡¯t recognize this voice. I also wasn¡¯t seeing anyone else in the room. Although now that I think about it, the past few days I thought that I had heard someone muttering to themselves. A voice so soft that I couldn¡¯t make out the words at all.


    I had thought that it was all in my head but now... ¡°Noah?¡±


    ¡°Wait, you can hear me? How long have you been able to hear me? Oh no, how many embarrassing things have I said?¡± he asks, his voice steadily raising in embarrassment.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so?¡± I say and do my best to try to get off the floor.


    I was so startled hearing Noah that I momentarily forgot about the pain. It was a mystery. I could hear him, I couldn¡¯t see him, but I could hear him.


    ¡°Leave it to me, you can finally hear me, but it is only after you hurt yourself. It couldn¡¯t have been a fun or silly, hi I am Noah the ghost. You know the one that has been following you around, in a completely non stalker way, and that you have been talking to.


    ¡°No you aren¡¯t a crazy person, or something fun like that. Nope! It had to be me outwardly freaking out that you got hurt even though you do that all the time. And I shouldn¡¯t have said all that outload because you can hear me now. I would like to vanish please...¡±


    ¡°Vanish? Noah, I can¡¯t see you, so mission accomplished?¡± I say and laugh softly.


    I was able to laugh without it hurting too much. That was a good sign. ¡°So honestly if you don¡¯t talk, I really won¡¯t know that you are still there. Are you... still there?¡± I ask, pensive, hoping that he hadn¡¯t wandered away because he was embarrassed.


    ¡°And why the heck are you embarrassed? All of that was sweet and made me feel really happy. If anyone here should be embarrassed, it should be me. I am the one that just fell on my butt!¡±


    ¡°Actually, you fell on your side and not your butt. I was watching very closely and¡­¡± says a small voice, so small I could barely hear it at all.


    Then, as just a whisper ¡°Speaking of which, are you okay?¡±


    ¡°I think so.¡± I say as I pull myself into a sitting position. I stretch out from there and feel some bruises forming.


    ¡°I am a little bruised but over all I¡¯m not too bad. I don¡¯t know why I got so weak all of a sudden, and what is this about watching closely?¡± I knew he was shy and couldn¡¯t help poking a little fun.


    ¡°Silly human.¡± Anubis walks in and says.


    ¡°Ah! Please keep the furry little walking, ghost scaring, four pawed creatures, away from me!¡±


    ¡°Noah, do you mean the cats? Are you afraid of cats?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ And those aren¡¯t cats¡± he says and I can hear his voice trail off.


    Okay, so Noah was scared of cats. That¡¯s kind of cute actually. I got a strong desire to tease him but I¡¯m afraid that if I do it will be a while before he has the courage to talk to me again. Also, it feels like that would be a little too mean, especially since he is being so sweet and is worried about me.


    ¡°You pushed yourself too hard. Humans are not hardy like us cats. You were weak when you came here and then tried to do a lot for a lot of days and so of course you would collapse.¡± Bastet says.


    ¡°So no be dumb. Go rest.¡± Anubis says then turns to where I assume Noah is. ¡°Ghost, she needs help. Work on being more. Make soup. Go now!¡±


    I think I hear an eep and then it sounded silent as though Noah had left the room.


    I had no idea how Noah was supposed to make me soup. I couldn¡¯t even see him so how in the world was he supposed to physically interact with objects. I shake my head and laugh a little and then pause.


    Wait, before I got here, wasn¡¯t Noah watering the plants in the indoor garden? Well, even if that had been the case it doesn¡¯t seem like it is the case now.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I will be fine. I just pushed myself a little too hard is all.¡± I reach out offering my hand for pets.


    ¡°You think? Silly human¡± Anubis said, sounding upset.


    I could tell that the little guy was really starting to care about me. He didn¡¯t even take me up on the offer for pets, must be serious.


    ¡°Hospital then here. When did you have time to heal body enough to clean, dance, cook and run? No, you need rest. Noah is here, he should be helping!¡± Bastet said, seemingly loud enough for Noah to be able to hear her even downstairs in the kitchen.


    ¡°I mean, you all have a point but I really will be fine. When I get hungry I will go get some smoked salmon for us, okay?¡±


    ¡°Be careful.  No grab one with bones! Silly human might choke.¡± Anubis said, bristling his fur in a huff before walking over and licking my hand.


    The gesture was sweet, but cat¡¯s tongues have hair on them which make them scratchy to soft human skin. ¡°I will be careful okay? I promise. Now then, lets go snuggle and watch a movie or something shall we?¡±

 What Do I Do?

    Noah couldn¡¯t help but be mortified. She was finally able to hear his voice! Part of him wanted to be elated, but why did that have to be the first time she heard him?


    Not only did he do his bad habit of muttering to himself, but he also revealed how closely he watcher her while she was dancing. That was okay though, wasn¡¯t it?


    She often invited him along to watch her dance, and even said that this would be his part. Demonstrating both parts of the dance to the best of her abilities. Noah did his best to mime his part, but it was hard to image some of it. He had little experience with dancing, so it was hard to know the interactions needed for some of the movements.


    There needed to be tension when she pulled away, or other times pressure, pushing to direct her. A squeeze on the hips would indicate a sharp turn, or a push of the hand would¡­


    Noah looks down at his hands. He could see them!


    But he knew that they were too ephemeral and opaque for Aurora to be able to see them. This was still amazing, as he could usually only see himself when he needed to tend to the indoor garden. Was he solid enough to do anything? He walked over to the door and tried to turn the knob. Not yet, he shakes his head and goes to join Aurora and the cats¡­ Silently, of course!


    *************************************************************************************************************


    I hobble my way into the living room and sit down. How the hell did I hurt myself so much just by falling? Does my body really weight that much, I mean¡­? Ugh!


    I snuggle into the pillows and wonder if I am going to watch a movie or fall asleep. At this point I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I did either one of them. What to watch¡­ What to watch¡­ How about a horror movie?


    I turn on the TV and look through the movies on Metflix and Bulu, but I am unimpressed. I wanted something a little bit less mainstream. I guess I could try to look at movies on Shiver and see if I can find something that I haven¡¯t seen before.


    Now that I was here the question was what genre of horror movie did I want to watch? There were monster movies, slashers, found footage, gore¡­ the list goes on, but I don¡¯t want to list it, because who like reading lists that are too long. No, I am living in a ghost story, so I want to watch a movie with ghosts. Hmm there can be a demon or two in it.


    The movie was a long one, nearly 2 hours long with a lot of twists and turns.


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    ¡°This feels eerie.¡± I say out loud. There was nothing particularly spooky happening, but I felt that I could relate to the girl in the movie. She was alone, in a new place, uncertain about her future.


    She was there because of mistakes she had made and was hoping that because of this her life could be better. ¡°I feel like I can relate a little too much.¡±


    I keep watching the movie and making comments at the various scenes. ¡°Okay, if she was using drugs this is the point where she would have started going into withdrawals.¡±


    ¡°What are withdrawals?¡± Bastet said, putting her paws on my chest and looking up at me. She was so cute I pet her little head and listened to her purr. ¡°Are they bad?¡±


    ¡°Yes Bastet, they are very bad. After using a lot of drugs or alcohol your body will get used to it. Once it doesn¡¯t have that anymore you can get very, very sick. You could throw up, have shakes or even get seizures.¡±


    ¡°That sounds bad!¡± Anubis said, cold wet nose booping my arm. ¡°Did you ever go through that sick?¡±


    ¡°No. I never did but I have friends that did.¡± I shudder at the memory, causing the light bruising on my side to ache. It was not a pleasant feeling. I think back on what happened.


    One of my close friends at the time had been drinking and partying a lot. We were sharing a room, so I was always close to what was going on. It looked fun at times, but because I had a scholarship I would never join in.


    It got to the point where she was always on some substance or another. It was coming close to midterms, and she needed several good grades to pass. If she didn¡¯t, she would fail, putting her on academic probation. She wouldn¡¯t be able to audition for our upcoming performance.


    In order to do this, she needed to get sober. She thought that it wouldn¡¯t be a problem and that she would find other ways to relive her stress. That was absolutely not the case.


    I woke up after hearing some heavy breathing. Emily had been throwing up for most of the night so I thought that she would be asleep. I reach out groping in the darkness looking for the lamp next to my bed. My hand hits the pull chain, I pull it illuminating my half of the room.


    I pull my heavy body out of my bed, and I fill a glass of water to bring her. I ended up dropping it to the ground, nearly slicing my foot in the process. Emily had begun foaming at the mouth. I call 911, they say it will take ten minutes for them to get there.


    I feel I didn¡¯t have ten minutes, Emily didn¡¯t have ten minutes. I feel my voice pitch as I start to panic. I try to remain calm, but I start shaking, barely able to hold the phone. I start repeating ¡®what do I do? What do I do?¡¯ over and over. Even as the operator calmly walks me though the next steps, I can¡¯t stop repeating to myself ¡®What do I do?¡¯


    I check for a pulse, but she wasn¡¯t breathing. I roll her onto her back and following the operator¡¯s instructions start giving her chest compressions. I continue repeating to myself ¡®What do I do, what do I do, stay alive, stay alive.¡¯


    Everything blurs until pounding on the door lets me know the EMTs have arrived. Afraid to stop doing compressions I shout at them to come in. I forgot the door was locked, and they have to kick down the door to get in.


    Darkness


    I was alone floating in the void. Thinking of Emily always made me feel lonely. She was one of the first people I felt close to, I thought our friendship could survive anything. It didn¡¯t, for whatever reason our friendship didn¡¯t survive after that night.


    After she got out of the hospital she moved out of the dorms. She said it was so she could spend time recovering with her family, something I encouraged her to do. I never heard from her after that.


    I curl up tightly into a ball. It was my fault, I hadn¡¯t been a good enough friend. I never tried to get her to stop, I talked her into auditioning for more performances.


    I know I was feeding the thoughts, but I couldn¡¯t stop. I pushed her, I caused her stress. It¡¯s no wonder she blamed me, why she didn¡¯t want to talk to me again. I always ruin things. I shrink into myself as I¡­


    ¡°Aurora?¡± I hear a gentle voice ask.

 Chapter 20: The Power of Love

    Noah, that voice belonged to Noah.


    It pulled me out of my bad memories and returned me to the present, which I was extremely grateful for. ¡°Sorry I paused the movie. Or, well, the cats did. We, umm, well.¡±


    ¡°We wanna watch together and you weren¡¯t here.¡± Bastet takes over for me.


    Noah opens his mouth about to ask a question.


    ¡°Nope, shush. No talk about bad things.¡± Anubis silences Noah before he could speak.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry you guys. How about I go fetch us some snack and we can finish the movie.¡±


    I gently maneuver my way off the couch and into the kitchen. I didn¡¯t know what to grab but I had to get out of there, I had to get away from their piercing gazes. They were so sympathetic and concerned, and I just didn¡¯t know how to handle that.


    I don¡¯t think anyone has cared about me as much as these cats do, and I have only known them for about a week. And Noah for¡­ do I count from when I could first hear him or, from day one?


    ¡°Ugh what am I doing thinking about all of this depressing nonsense.¡± There was no point in letting myself think about those kinds of things. However, I couldn¡¯t stop the flood of negative thoughts. It was almost as if something here was pulling them out and forcing me to view them. I close my eyes trying to fight against it.


    ¡°Are you okay in there?¡± I hear Noah ask from the living room.


    I know that there is nothing like that here, so I open my eyes, and take a deep breath. I walk over to the sink and splash some cold water on my face. It is bracing and brings me back to reality. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it Noah, I am fine. Now then, what snacks should we have.¡±


    ¡°Oh umm, me, worried? Ha-ha¡­ Okay maybe just a little?¡± His voice went up at the end of his statement, and it was beyond cute. It made me wonder what he looked like.


    ¡°Noah you are such a sweet cinnamon roll. Don¡¯t ever change.¡± I say and feel embarrassed.


    Don¡¯t ever change? Am I a fortune cookie? I¡¯m saying it like I know him well enough to be able to tell him to not ever change. Mrrrghh. Ah well, it¡¯s a nice change of pace. ¡°Ice cream floats for dessert and some salmon?¡±


    ¡°Umm, I¡¯m not complaining, but why would you combine those¡­ I mean yes?¡± he said and I could hear confusion in his voice.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    ¡°Can you eat anything Noah?¡±


    ¡°No, but I think at some point I might be able to? And, the thought is nice.¡± He sounds hopeful, which makes me feel hopeful as well.


    ¡°I know that I would like that very much. I like the cats company and they are funny but it would be nice to be able to converse with someone close to my own age about things that don¡¯t include hunting, mice, bugs, birds and so on. I can only have so many conversations about fish in a day!¡± I say and laugh a little to myself. ¡°Oh, now that you are talking does that mean I don¡¯t get any more little notes?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Can¡­ I can leave you more notes since you like them.¡± He says very softly.


    ¡°Yay!¡± I love his little notes. Finding them around always makes my day a little brighter.


    ¡°Now then let¡¯s get this food and get back to the movie.¡±


    It doesn¡¯t take me long to finish getting the food and drinks together and get back into the living room. Feeling a bit better I settle back into the couch.


    *************************************************************************************************************


    Noah follows along beside her and watches, curious to see what movie she is going to choose. He is a little bit surprised to see her pick out a horror movie. Isn¡¯t living in a haunted cabin already enough of a horror movie? Also, there was the basement, and the attic and¡­ Ah well to each their own. Even Noah enjoyed a scary movie on occasion, but he had to confess they weren¡¯t his favorite.


    Several scenes made him jump, and Noah was close to hiding under the blanket. Well, not really, but he did hope Aurora would get at least a little scared. Looking over at her though he saw something else.


    Pushing past the extreme discomfort of being in the proximity of the cats, he pushes pause on the remote. It was like Noah had also pushed pause on Aurora, she sat there still, wide eyed, unmoving.


    ¡°Aurora?¡± the sound of his voice seemed to bring her back. ¡®It was the power of love¡¯ a traitorous voice whispered in his head.


    Noah wanted to follow her into the kitchen, but thought it was best to give her some space. She seemed to freeze up again, so he once more called out to her. ¡°Are you okay in there?¡±


    When he heard her comment about the notes, he felt elated. He had done that as a way to interact with her and have some fun. It seemed that it had worked.


    *************************************************************************************************************


    I curl back up on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me. For some reason I feel some discomfort behind my back and turn and reach behind it. ¡°Oh it¡¯s a blanket. Excellent.¡±


    I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and curl up under it, tucking my feet up and everything.


    ¡°Under blanket!¡± Anubis says and pounces over to the blanket, shoving his head under it and wiggles in.


    It is so cute that I can¡¯t help but laugh. I see Bastet eyeing a spot on the couch and she starts moving towards it.


    ¡°Nope, my lap is not available!¡± I hear Noah say.


    She raises a paw to keep moving forward but decides against it. ¡°Fine!¡± Bastet says in a huff.


    It seems as though she really wanted to curl up with Noah. I wonder if there is a reason that Noah is afraid of cats. It just doesn¡¯t really make sense to me. Was he attacked by a bad one or is it a ghost thing?


    Turning my attention back to the movie I hit play. As the movie goes on she starts to see things, and hear them as well. It seems to be the sounds of the last people that were there. When she walked around at night, she would see ghosts acting out scenes, like some cheesy phantom theater.


    ¡°I can see why this is a bit psychological, what with the jumping between her being at camp and her doing drugs and partying, but why is this horror?¡±


    I keep watching and there was still an eerie feeling around me that I couldn¡¯t shake, and I felt cold even with the blanket and the cat. I shrugged it off.


    ¡°Why am I feeling so cold?¡± the main character of the movie asked herself. ¡°Is it because I am surrounded by death?¡±

 Chapter 21: Bears in the Sky

    I shake my head to get the train of thoughts to stop running, or to slow down enough that I could continue to enjoy the movie. There was a scene that made my blood run cold.


    The flashbacks had been slowly getting earlier into her life. We find out that the reason behind her drug fueled downward spiral was sexual assault. I felt bile rising up in my throat and tears in my eyes.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this supposed to just be a ghost story?¡± I ask the movie, plaintive. Of course, it couldn¡¯t hear me though, it was a movie. I could have chosen to stop it, but I didn¡¯t. I wanted to know how it ended.


    In the end she ended up falling in love with one of the ghosts. She deiced to commit suicide so she could become another one of the ghosts that lived there. It was unfortunate that she had to find her happy ending in death, but it was better than the life that she had left behind.


    After I turn the movie off it makes me pause. Would I be willing to die in order to be with someone? Have I ever even pretended to love anyone that much?


    The answer was no, no I had never been in that kind of relationship, and I am not sure if I had ever wanted to be in a relationship like that. It just felt wrong to me, not romantic. You hear that cabin, this is not foreshadowing!


    Taking this one step further I had never really had the option to be in a loving relationship at all. I moved around too much to be able to develop the kinds of crushes that most girls developed. It was something that always left me as an outsider.


    It didn¡¯t matter if I wanted to be friends with a certain group of people or not. I never had that background or foundation with them. Also, I had something else that was more important to me than other people.


    I look over to where I assume Noah is and wonder what he is thinking. How did the movie impact him? It was a ghost story, but it hit on a lot of deep topics. Did he experience any of those things? What had his terror been, what had he been scared of? What was he afraid of now? What did he think of the love story? Did he think that it was realistic, or did he find it cheesy and thrown in because there has to be a love story in everything now?


    The questions just led to more questions that kept popping into my head until it was too much. I wanted to ask him all about everything, but I needed some fresh air to sort out my own thoughts.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to go get some air¡±. I say out loud, letting Noah and the cats know where I was going.


    Bastet gave me a concerned, or at least that is what I thought it looked like? I flash a smile at them. ¡°The movie just really spooked me or, was disturbing? It just hit a little to close to home, so¡­ Yeah, fresh air.¡±


    I pull myself off the couch, almost tripping over a blanket edge that was on the floor. I catch myself and try to take a normal step. ¡°I meant to do that.¡± With that completely believable statement I left the room.


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    *************************************************************************************************************


    For the rest of the movie Noah would go between watching with his full focus and wanting to pull the blanket over his head during the scarier parts. As much as he watched the movie he spent more time watching Aurora¡¯s reactions.


    The only people Noah had really been able to watch movies with had been some of the overnight nurses. He just hadn¡¯t been close enough to anyone else, not enough to cuddle on a couch and watch a movie, especially a horror movie.


    Was that what Aurora and him had been doing? Did this count as cuddling on a couch, I mean they weren¡¯t really touching and there was plenty of space between them. There however had been a movie, and snacks. Holy guacamole, was this a date!?


    He shakes his head at himself. What was it that he was allowing himself to think about? There had been no real possibilities of romance and he had accepted this. It would be forbidden love, between the living and the dead. He nodded his head and felt good that he had re-come to this conclusion.


    He inwardly laughed at himself that this was where he had drawn the line.


    As if sensing something, the smaller black cat looked over at him and stared. ¡°Meow?¡±


    ¡°What do you know!¡±


    *************************************************************************************************************


    Leaving the area I make my way up onto the roof. It was evening so there was a chill to the air. I make an ¡°eep!¡± sound as the cool wind caressed my skin.


    It was colder than I was used to now. Something to reacclimate to for sure. I step back inside and grab the blanket, shaking it a few times, hard, before wrapping it around my body. Bundled up I make my way back up on the roof and look out across the sky.


    I look up at the stars, twinkling in their own inky blanket. Ah, there was the big and little dipper, and over there? That was the constellation Orion. It brought a smile to my lips and a memory rose up in my mind.


    *************************************************************************************************************


    ¡°Look up there, at the sky. At the stars.¡±


    ¡°I love the stars!¡± I say, a big and goofy grin on my face. ¡°They are so pretty!¡±


    ¡°Pretty just like you are.¡± He says placing a hand on top of my head. ¡°Some of the stars make up special shapes in the sky and have stories to them. That one there is the big dipper. It is also known as Ursa Major and is big bear that protects us up in the sky!¡±


    ¡°How did it get up in the sky¡±?


    ¡°A really long time ago there was a big and kind bear that looked over the people in its area. The bear was so kind that it let the people eat all of the food around it, not saving any for itself. Eventually the bear got so hungry that it started seeing fish flying in the sky.


    ¡°The bear decided to chase the fish. As it leapt up its feet stuck to the sky, allowing it to run higher and higher. It worried about the people that it was supposed to be protecting, but knew that it would be able to watch over even more people if it was up high in the sky.


    ¡°Knowing this it ran up into the stars where it could eat all the fish that swim through the sky while looking down on its people.¡±


    ¡°Wow!¡± I said, not knowing that this was something that my dad had made up on the spot, and that it wasn¡¯t one of the many stories that were actually attached to the big dipper.


    ¡°See the little stars under it that look really similar but smaller.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right there!¡± I say, pointing up at them.


    ¡°The bear ended up falling in love up in the sky and that is the bear¡¯s cub.¡±


    ¡°Yay, the big guardian bear doesn¡¯t have to get lonely if it has its cub¡±!


    ¡°That¡¯s right, though it does have to share all those tasty flying fish.¡± Dad said and ruffled my hair. After that Mom called to us so we raced each other back inside.

 Chapter 22: Stars and Stories

    Ha, one of the only good memories that I have of my childhood, and it was looking up at the stars. I still come outside when there is a lot on my mind, and I need to catch my breath.


    I wasn¡¯t sure why but something in the movie came to mind just now, and I felt like I couldn¡¯t breathe. Maybe it was that she killed herself. Would I ever love anyone that much? I highly doubted it but thought that maybe it could be possible.


    When had I stopped believing in myself? Stopped looking towards the future, any future? Was it that I thought I would always be alone? Was it that people took advantage of me everywhere I went? I shake my head, I just didn¡¯t know.


    I wish that I had known that movie contained suicide. If I had known I wouldn¡¯t have picked it out. Thinking that I grip the blanket tighter around me. This was an avenue that I try not to let my mind wander down.


    I think I was in middle school when I started dreaming about suicide. There were a lot of pressures pushing down on me. I was also hearing a lot about my weight, 95lbs. I just knew that this wasn¡¯t right, and that I should be happy, have friends and have the freedom to be a kid. I didn¡¯t have that.


    In my dreams it was always black smoke wrapping around my neck. For some reason when I thought of suicide it was about a rope around my neck. Or at least, that¡¯s what it had been.  Now though?  It varies.  Pills, knives, guns, poisons, falling asleep in a bathtub, driving my car into a lake¡­


    I squeeze my arms, hard, and try to move my thoughts away from that. That part of my life was over. I was no longer living my trauma, that was in the past.


    I was in the present and moving towards a better future. One with food, cats and ghosts. What a fun and bright future this would be.  Maybe I will find a spell to turn me into a witch, or a magical girl and I can go on adventures!


    Hey, at this point it didn¡¯t feel that unlikely. I smile as the wind grabs hold of my hair and plays with it.  I reach up and push it out of the way, tucking it behind my ear.


    ¡°Hi, Aurora? I came up to check on you. You seemed upset¡­¡± Noah says, seeming a little bit nervous, which was endearing.


    ¡°Thanks for checking on me. I¡¯ve had to face suicide in my life and it brought up some bad memories. Nothing that some fresh air couldn¡¯t take care of.¡± I turn and smile in the direction that I hear his voice coming from.


    ¡°Oh¡­ That makes sense. I¡¯m glad that you seem to be feeling better.¡±


    His voice was very soft, and I was afraid that he was going become quiet again.  I liked his voice and having someone to talk to, so I really didn¡¯t want that to happen.


    ¡°It was really sweet of you to come up here. Do you like looking up at the stars¡±?


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    ¡°I do actually. Though I¡¯m no astronomer¡­ I know¡­ Orion¡¯s belt, and there should be two dippers? I do love the night sky and the smell of fresh air though.¡±


    ¡°You know, I don¡¯t know any of the real stories either. I can tell you the one that my dad told me when I was really little.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d like that.¡± He said.


    He was so natural about moving the conversation in a positive direction that I was really impressed. I proceeded to tell him about the guardian bear and it chasing fish up into the sky.


    When I was done ¡°That was¡­ bearry cute¡­¡± he said with a smug grin, I couldn¡¯t see it but I knew.


    It made me feel really good to share with him one of my few good memories.


    ¡°It was the only story that he came up with for any of the constellations. He just showed me the signs after that and claimed that he did not know any other stories.


    ¡°I tried making them up myself, and all I remember was that they were pretty silly. I can¡¯t remember what they were about though. Did you ever make up stories?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not much of a writer, but I read everything. Books, magna, video games, some people don¡¯t count them, but they count, shampoo bottles. Everything.¡±


    ¡°I bet we would have been good friends if we met while you were alive.¡± I pause, ¡°But we can still be good friends now that you are dead if you would like.¡±


    ¡°Ummm, I would¡­ only if its best friends!¡±


    ¡°Okay Noah, from today on I dub thee, my bestest of friends. I mean you win by default, but still you win!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°Noah?¡± I somehow can feel the silence. ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°¡­Eeep!¡± a squeak like sound escapes into the night.


    ¡°Noah, is that a good eep? Yes, I am sure it is a good one. Indeed, poor shy cinnamon roll.¡±


    *************************************************************************************************************


    Noah does his best to give her some space, as it seemed like she needed it.


    ¡°How long should I give her space? What if she doesn¡¯t want to be alone right now?¡± he ponders to himself, quickly becoming more anxious as time passes.


    Eventually he makes his way up to the roof, giving the locked room in the attic a wide berth as he passed by it.


    Hearing the story of the constellations makes him think of how cute Aurora must have been as a little kid. He thought about his own childhood. Had his parents ever made-up stories like that for him? Had he ever been that cute?


    He couldn¡¯t remember a time when they did. When he was really little they used to read him stories before he went to bed. They would also read them to him when he was sick or upset, they read to him a lot.


    Reading and playing games were his escape from reality, his own little slice of peace. Something that he holds precious. ¡®It feels really nice to know that I have a friend.¡¯


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    I lay down in bed and stare up at the ceiling, thinking back through the day. Being me, I go over everything that I said and did then thought of ways that I could have said or done them better.


    It was something that I did as a child because my parents would constantly judge me and tell me how I could improve. It was that way for everything. If I told a joke to a friend and they were nearby enough to hear it, they would judge me on my delivery.


    They would bring a notepad with them to any of my performance and keep track of all of my mistakes. At the end they would ask me what mistakes I made. Any that I missed they would tell me and make me say it back to them three times. This became something they did so much it imprinted on my brain.


    I hum a little tune to myself to try to pull my thoughts out of the abyss. They were not in my life now and I was not planning on welcoming them back any time soon. They had no control over me or my mind.


    ¡°The wolf softly howling is the sound of the night, When all that surrounds us is snow and moonlight.  So waltz me and hold me, under the night, when all that surrounds us is snow and moonlight.¡±


    It was the words to one of my favorite waltzes.  Some of the lyrics are sappy, but I secretly love that.  I can¡¯t help it, I am a fan of sappy things: songs, books, games, and people¡­ the cinnamon roll ones.


    Always have been, and chances are I always would.  I softly sing to myself as I fall asleep.

 Chapter 23: Dream a Dream

    ¡°Was there ever a time you loved me?¡± I asked my parents after they had gotten done fighting with each other. They decided to rough me up a bit, in places that no one would be able to see.


    I was just so sick and tired of everything. Tears running down my twelve-year old cheeks I wondering what I had done wrong. Did I ruin their lives by being born?


    ¡°Stop being stupid. I think you have homework that you should be doing. Go!¡±


    I cry a little bit harder as I run up the stairs to my room, pulling the door open, slipping in, and closing it again. I crawl into my closet, like I often do, and pull everything closed.


    I pull off my shirt and pants and make sure that I wasn¡¯t cut too deeply. There were swatches of purple and blue down my sides. They had only started hitting me recently, after Mom lost her job. It put a lot of pressure on Dad and they both took it out on me.


    They really only hit me when they were drinking, and lately that had been nearly every night. Somehow, I had managed to not have any broken bones or sprains, as that would keep me from dancing.


    I pull out the medicine kit and clean myself up. I set that down and dig under the blankets as I pull out a knife.


    Darkness


    I¡¯m holding a knife and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for everyone for the field trip today. I was really excited because it was my first field trip at this school, and I really wanted everyone to like me. What better way then with PB and J.


    I pack them up neatly and do my best to write everyone¡¯s names on their brown paper bags. ¡°Do you think that everyone is going to like their lunches?¡± I ask.


    Mom walks up behind me and gives me a big hug. ¡°I think that everyone is going to love them Auri.¡± She gives me hair a tussle. ¡°if you are finished with them then let¡¯s put them in the cardboard box and bring them to the car.¡±


    ¡°Yes Momma!¡± Mom was going to come on the field trip with me today and I was pretty excited about it. She was in a really good mood and was really pretty so everyone was going to like her.


    ¡°Look, she brought her mom with her.¡± Said some of the kids when we showed up to head to the field trip site.


    ¡°Yeah, what is she, a baby? I mean, look at how tiny she is anyways. Tiny baby Aurora.¡±


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    The other kids laughed at me because the girl that said it was a popular mean girl. They knew that if they didn¡¯t laugh along, they would be bullied next.


    I looked up at Mom to see if she was going to defend me, and I see her lips going white as she pinched them together. Either she was mad at the kids but wanted us to settle things between ourselves or she was going to be upset with me later for not having made friends. I dreaded finding out which.


    Darkness


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you have any friends? Why is it that no one ever wants to spend any time with you? Other parents get a break when their kids go over to play at one another¡¯s houses. Do I get that? No! No I don¡¯t, and it¡¯s all because you are too stupid to make friends.¡±


    Mom stares at me, trying to catch my eyes.  I hate making eye contact with her.  Looking at her like this makes me think that she is crazy, that she has to be crazy.  Why else would someone yell at their child? Would I go crazy like that too?


    ¡°How old do you think I am Mom? Go over to each other¡¯s houses? What, do you think I can still go to play dates? Look at me?! I will be going off to college soon!¡±


    ¡°Soon? Soon?! When is soon Aurora? When do I finally get rid of you, because I will start packing the boxes right now!¡±


    ¡°Just sign the fucking papers and I can leave, I can go on my own, and you can be rid of me!¡±


    ¡°That would make me the laughing-stock of my group. No, I will not sign those papers. We still own you until you go to college. And until you do, you are a child, and children have friends, and friends go play at each other¡¯s houses.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s your fault I don¡¯t have them.¡± I turn to walk away but she grabs my hair and spins me around to look at her, then slaps me, hard across the face. I gape at her. On my face?


    ¡°Hide it with make-up.¡± She says and lets go. I run away from her, and out the door and into the night.


    Darkness.


    Darkness so cold. I breathe out to see if I can see my breath, but I see nothing. Is there nothing? Am I nothing? Am I the darkness? The cold?


    The darkness lessens a bit, clearing away and I am left looking into a mirror. At first I can¡¯t see what is wrong, it looks like me. Colored hair, height, smile¡­ Wait, smile?


    I touch my face. That isn¡¯t right, I¡¯m not smiling. The smile grows wider, and the mouth opens to show a mouth full of jagged teeth. I stare at that mouth, and the teeth go back to normal, and the smile is gone. What was that? Where am I? It¡¯s cold. It¡¯s so cold.


    I drop to the ground in front of the mirror and pull my knees up to my chest. Once I do it feels as though the ground gives out beneath me and I fall.


    As I fall I see ice around me, ice that looks like knives. I have to curl into myself more and more to keep from being cut. I almost manage to but end up with cuts down my arms and my back.


    They hurt, it hurts. Why is it always so cold? Why does it always hurt?


    I stop falling and slam into the ground and feel like my entire body shatters, some parts jagged, others dust. There is a mirror here to.


    Here too? Did I ever leave? Didn¡¯t I fall? I look into the mirror and see that I am still whole, although there is blood from the cuts. I hear it drip to the floor. Drip, drop. Drip, drop. Plink, plink, splash, splash, SPLASH!


    The mirror fills with blood and then bursts open, and I feel like I will drown in it. I stay small and try to let it all flow around me, trying to hold fast and stay strong.


    Cold. Stay cold. I feel the blood draining away and then it sounds like something is saying, ¡°Hmm¡± as if considering me. I feel scared like I have never felt before.


    Darkness.


    I¡¯m happily playing in water and laughing a lot.  I had my family and siblings around me, and it was a really fun day at the lake.  I felt water pulling me a bit deeper in but wasn¡¯t worried because Mommy and Daddy were keeping an eye on me and won¡¯t let anything bad happen to me.


    ¡°Mom! Dad! Look at this crab we found!¡± I heard, then my head got sucked under the waves.

 Chapter 24: Mr. Sexy Makes Me Eggs

    I am jolted out of my dreams by some paws pushing down on me. It hurts when little animals put all their weight into a certain spot. I was grateful though.


    ¡°Good morning Anubis, good morning Bastet.¡± I was curious as to how they managed to get into my room with the door closed but decided that I liked leaving some things as a mystery.


    ¡°That sure was a weird dream. I don¡¯t have siblings, and I don¡¯t remember being in a lake. That last dream felt more like a memory than a dream though.¡±


    I run my finger through my hair, ruffling it a bit. I had been learning the different feelings between dreams and memories recently.


    ¡°Does this cabin bring a lot of memories out in people?¡± I ask them. I had been remembering a lot of things that I hadn¡¯t thought of in a while, and so vividly that it felt as though I was reliving the experiences.


    I shudder at the thought. I would never want to go back to relive the worst moments in my life. Or, not even the worst. I wouldn¡¯t want to relive any of the bad moments.


    Would I want to relive the good ones? No, probably not. It feels as though there is a dark shadow hanging over a lot of my life that I haven¡¯t been able to shake. Which is part of the reason that I am here after all.


    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± Anubis says.


    ¡°Know¡±. Bastet finished.


    It is adorable how much the two of them are in sync with each other.


    ¡°Get clothes.¡± Anubis says.


    ¡°We smell breakfast.¡± Says Bastet.


    ¡°You smell breakfast? How is that possible? Did someone else show up!?¡± I roll out of bed, my feet hitting the floor with a satisfying thud.


    Curious to find out if this is the other living being I walk over to my closet and throw on some clothing, loose pants and a cute top with a little dinosaur saying ¡®rawr!¡¯ I don¡¯t know how I got it, or why I have it, but it is cute and approachable¡­ unlike me.


    I brush my teeth, brush my hair and bounce lightly down the stairs and into the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen, I freeze.


    ¡°Pervert!¡± I shout, utterly surprised.


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    There is a man in boxer briefs with an apron cooking. When he turns around to look at me I see that on his apron is written ¡®Mr. Sexy¡¯. I just completely freeze as I have no idea how to react.


    Turning around he flashes a bright smile. ¡°When did you arrive? Or are you a ghost? Please tell me that you are one of the ghosts!¡±


    I am startled by the energy that he is exuding, which breaks me out of my trance. ¡°I¡¯ve been here for a little while now, lost track of how many days. Maybe two or three weeks?¡± I ask.


    If I counted my journal entries then I would know, but it did not seem like the time for that. ¡°How long have you been here?¡± I ask back. ¡°Are you one of the ghosts?¡±


    But then I remember that Noah said that he was the only one that was currently awake, whatever that means. Does that mean that this person is the other living person? Or did another one of the ghosts wake up?


    ¡°As far as I know I am very much alive. And making breakfast. How do you like your eggs? Though at this point¡± he glances down at the pan ¡°you are going to have go with scrambled as that is all the eggs I have, we have? Is it we now, we do live together? Anywho, I think that this conversation would be much more fun over breakfast, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t argue with that, especially since the food smelled amazing. It looked like eggs, pancakes and bacon. That was a lot of food for one person. Did he always cook this much for himself?


    ¡°Normally I would say I like my eggs over easy, but I really don¡¯t know that means. I think it makes me sound fancy, eggs are eggs though, so yeah. Scrambled is good¡­ wait can scrambled eggs be over easy?¡± I say and take a seat at the table. ¡°Is there anything that I can help you with?¡± I ask, feeling a little uncomfortable.


    ¡°Uhhh, no and also no¡­ little rawr. I don¡¯t like anyone in the kitchen with me while I am cooking, well unless they are¡­ never mind.¡±


    Little rawr? Oh I get it, I called him Mr. Sexy because of his clothes so he is calling me little rawr because of the rawr! on my shirt. Makes sense.


    ¡°Rawr, which mean my name is Aurora in dinosaur. And as far as I am aware I am alive.¡± I say, awkwardly. I know that he said we would talk while we ate but I at least wanted to introduce myself.


    ¡°Wait, if you speak dinosaur then odds are you are dead, like really dead.¡± He takes a pause with a deadpan stare ¡°I¡¯m Luke, but you can call me Mr. Sexy, especially since I am going to keep calling you little rawr for a while. It¡¯s cute. And I don¡¯t want to think of napping beauty every time I see you.¡±


    That was fair and I couldn¡¯t say that it wasn¡¯t. There were times that I hated my name. Times I loved it too, like when I looked up at the sky when it was dark outside and saw colors waving and dancing across the sky, leaving trails of beauty.


    When we moved away from places that you could see the aurora though people just thought of me as some princess that slept for an unnaturally long time. Not how I wanted to be thought of. Even if I do like sleeping. A lot. I like sleeping a lot.


    I fall quiet, just a bit lost in my thoughts. I wonder if I would know if I was dead. Do ghosts immediately know they are ghosts? Would it be rude of me to ask Noah?


    I really don¡¯t want to upset him or hurt his feelings. He is such a precious cinnamon roll. I wanted to protect him, even if it meant not asking some of the questions that I wanted to have answers to.


    It didn¡¯t take long until the food was done, and Luke was bringing it to the table. While he was cooking, I took it upon myself to set the table. After all the dining room is not the kitchen, loophole, I think so.


    I set out three places on the table. When Luke set the food down on the table, he looked at the place settings and then at me, confused.


    ¡°Do we have a third person that is going to be joining us for breakfast?¡±


    ¡°Yes, his name is Noah. He is one of the ghosts here. He can¡¯t eat with us, but he joins and can talk some now, which is great.¡± I say and see Luke light up.


    ¡°You have met and talked with one of the ghosts here already? What did he say? What did you talk about? What is he like? Have you only met one? How would you describe him, is it Casper like or more transparent human? Oh, oh, is there ectoplasm? I mean, What brings you here?¡± he asks, rapid-fire.


    Well, isn¡¯t he a friendly one, and he seems like an extrovert as well. I am what people would call a fake extrovert, so I could keep up, but only to an extent. However, it was still nice to see another person here.


    Though, keeping up with him might end up being a little¡­ entirely, exhausting.

 Chapter 25: Bacon and Syrup

    This new, not ghost might be exhausting, but he was cooking me food. Food equals energy so this balances out. I look at the cat¡¯s bowls. It looks like he forgot to feed them. Wait a minute... ¡°You have at least met the cats, right?¡±


    ¡°I assumed there must be cats, but I haven¡¯t seen them. Which is sad, because I love animals.¡±


    I could tell. He almost seemed like one himself, specifically a puppy, with his level of energy, and so early too. Puppy Luke, if I got a dog I always planned on naming him that. Do I have a puppy now?


    Was he always like this, or was he just excited by the idea of ghosts? I shake my head and get up to fill the cats¡¯ bowls.


    I open the fridge and it was as though the two could sense that I was about to feed them, so they came into the kitchen. I¡¯m honestly not sure where they had gone.


    They woke me up and had run down the stairs as well, but were only coming into the kitchen now? Were they waiting to make a dramatic entrance? Honestly, I would not be surprised.


    I reach into the cat food drawer in the fridge and pull out some fish mix. That was what the bag labeled it as anyways. I plop some into each of their bowls. Having fed them I feel much more comfortable with washing my hands and sitting down with Luke to eat.


    ¡°These are the cats. The black one is named Anubis, and the white one is Bastet.¡± I indicate to them.


    ¡°Hi!¡± they say in unison.


    I look at Luke, waiting to see his reaction to the fact that he has two cats talking to him. He doesn¡¯t seem at all surprised. Interesting.


    ¡°Daww, they are so cute. Listen to them meow at the same time. So cute!¡± he smiles, then turns back and starts serving up the food.


    He gives me a good helping without even asking me how much I want to eat. I lift one eyebrow and look at him.


    ¡°You are way too skinny. It isn¡¯t healthy. Plus, I love cooking for others. So, stop giving me that weird look and eat your breakfast.¡± He cuts off a large piece of pancake and stuffs it into his mouth.


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    Not wanting to be rude I cut off a piece and eat it. It was so light and fluffy! Delicious! Hmm, I think it might be even better with just a bit of syrup. I didn¡¯t want to appear rude though.


    While I contemplated whether or not to add any syrup to the pancakes, I see him open the syrup and pour some onto his stack, and then hand it over to me.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I say, and pour some onto my pancakes, and onto the bacon as well. I don¡¯t know how people feel about it, but I think that bacon is much better with a helping of syrup on it. It¡¯s salty and sweet, how can you not like that.


    We eat in silence for a few minutes, and I take that time to look him over. I feel much more comfortable looking at him now that he was sitting, and his underwear wasn¡¯t on display.


    One would think that it wouldn¡¯t bother me so much, having been around half naked men while dancing. Sometimes it got incredibly hot in the practice rooms, and we would all strip down and do our routines and practice in our underwear.


    However! That is with people that I know. I don¡¯t know Luke, thus it makes me uncomfortable.


    I take a moment to appreciate how pretty he is, I mean observe him. That¡¯s the normal behavior, and that is me. Normal person.


    Luke is tall, he appears to be about 6¡¯2¡± and has medium length sandy brown hair that goes a little past his shoulders. He seems to have pulled it up because he was cooking. Or maybe he just liked to have it pulled up? He looks at me and I notice that he has green eyes.


    ¡°Well?¡± he asks. ¡°How is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s really good! Thank you.¡± I say, and flash him a smile.


    ¡°Ha, look at that. When not shouting that I am a pervert Little Rawr has quite the cute smile.¡±


    Is¡­ Is he flirting with me? I am honestly not sure how to react and am relieved when I hear Noah say, ¡°Good morning Aurora¡±. He sounded sleepy. Did ghosts get tired?


    ¡°Good morning Noah.¡± I say in response and look to Luke to see if he was going to say anything.


    ¡°Holy syrupy pancakes, is there a ghost in the room! Is there someone actually there or are you the kind of person that makes up excuses not to respond when someone gives them a compliment.¡± He says, in what sounds like a teasing tone.


    I, however, do not know him well enough to be able to differentiate his different tones.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you hear Noah say good morning?¡± I ask him.


    ¡°I am going to go with, no.¡±


    Crap, did he think that I was making fun of him? I wasn¡¯t. Could he really not hear Noah? That made me feel unnerved. Was Noah just in my head? No, that couldn¡¯t be. Unless I went into a fugue state and left notes around the cabin for myself then Noah was most certainly real.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem like you are joking.¡± He pauses giving me what I assume is a discerning stare. ¡°Well then, good morning Noah.¡±


    He nods in the direction of the place set out for Noah. I could only assume that is where he was as well.


    ¡°Now that we have food over which to discuss, I have so many questions.¡± He takes a deep breathe and I fear another barrage of questions.


    ¡°First of all, why is this the first time that we are running into each other? I have been here for about three days now. Two and a half, but let¡¯s round it to three.¡±


    What? That shouldn¡¯t really be possible, I mean at the least I should have heard him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. It is a rather large place. Maybe we somehow were just never in the same place at the same time?¡± I feel like I¡¯m trying more to convince myself then him. I look over at the cats. The cats also haven¡¯t been around Luke either.

 Chapter 26: Breakfast Beginnings Part 1

    ¡°Cabin seems to be magic.¡± Bastet says.


    ¡°Seems you weren¡¯t supposed to meet til now.¡± Anubis comments.


    I nod at them. ¡°Okay, so the cabin is magic. But why were you with me all this time then, and why didn¡¯t you run into Luke? That seems a bit odd to me.¡±


    ¡°You needed us more.¡± Bastet says.


    ¡°You are more danger.¡± Says Anubis.


    ¡°What do you mean that I was in more danger?¡± Before the cats could answer me though, Luke interrupted.


    ¡°What are you doing Little Rawr? Why are you acting like the cats are talking to you? Why are you suddenly talking about danger, and the cabin being magical?¡±


    ¡°You mean that you can¡¯t understand what they are saying? Can you understand them Noah?¡±


    ¡°No, and I don¡¯t stay around them long enough to try to figure it out either.¡± He says softly, clearly embarrassed that he was afraid of the cats.


    I can¡¯t blame him. It seems like an odd fear. Then again, if you look into certain mythology cats were guardians of the underworld. If you come at it from that perspective, then his fear made purrfect sense.


    ¡°Well, this is putting me in a bit of an uncomfortable position. I am the only one that can understand the cats. Noah can hear and understand Luke, but Luke cannot hear or talk to Noah. Does that about sum things up?¡±


    ¡°I would say it does, you are crazy. But who is this Luke person? Shouldn¡¯t you be calling me Mr. Sexy? It¡¯s right there on my apron, and you have called me that once already.¡±


    ¡°She what?¡± I hear Noah muttering to himself. ¡°They just met and they already have nicknames for each other? This isn¡¯t good. That¡¯s it, I need to become more solid, she needs to at least be able to see me. It would be nice if I was solid enough to interact with things as well, then I could join her by eating meals. And I don¡¯t want this Luke person to hear me, I don¡¯t know him and I don¡¯t know if I trust him either..¡± he says, hardly taking a breath.


    How can anyone talk so fast and so quiet at the same time. I am going to go out on a limb and assume that I was not supposed to be able to hear or understand what he was just saying, so I pretend not to hear him.


    ¡°I called you that before I knew your name¡­¡± I say, trailing off.


    ¡°Now you are just hurting my feelings, that is my name. You can call me Luke at different times, but while we are in the kitchen, when I am cooking, I am Mr. Sexy. I think that this is perfectly reasonable.¡±


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    ¡°Okay, I can abide by these rules.¡± I say and nod. I just wanted to keep eating his food. He seems to like cooking and his food tastes really good.


    I am a decent enough cook, but my mind was always on other things aside from cooking. And by other things I mean classes, and dancing. Mostly dancing though. Classes were more of a necessary evil and it seems that I missed the last thing that he said.


    ¡°Sorry, what did you say?¡±


    ¡°I asked why you are here.¡± He re-asks.


    I don¡¯t want to give him the honest reason. I haven¡¯t even acknowledged it fully to myself, so there is no way that I will be telling this, Mr. Sexy, person that I had just met.


    ¡°You see, I am a dancer, and I wanted to watch the snowflakes falling so that I can create a dance based off of it.¡±


    He stares at me for a moment before replying ¡°It¡¯s the spring.¡±


    ¡°That is a good point. But if there was snow anywhere in the spring, I thought that it would be in Alaska. Also, the nature here is much prettier and cleaner. I thought that I could create many new dances.¡± I say, and stuff another bite of food into my mouth.


    I had been distracted by things and had gone too long between bites, which is just offensive to the food. There is no reason for me to be restricting food right now. And he was right after all, I really am a bit too thin. It is good for dancers to be fit, not thin. For me, the two have just usually gone hand in hand.


    ¡°Why are you here?¡± I ask while stabbing an accusative fork in his direction.


    ¡°I hear that there are many unique species of plants in the area that I could eat. How did you get invited to the cabin?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I guess my dancing caught the eye of the cabin owner. Also, she needed a female for her experiment. So I guess she thought that I would do?¡±


    ¡°Did she know that you would be able to see and converse with the ghosts?¡± He asked in a joking manner.


    ¡°No idea. What about you?¡±


    ¡°No clue. They needed a male, and clearly I qualify. Maybe one of my teachers recommended me? I am so loveable after all.¡±


    ¡°Oh, are you in school then?¡± I ask, not responding to the loveable comment.


    ¡°Yes, I am in two different programs. Cooking and parapsychology. I guess you could say¡­ I¡¯m scary good at cooking.¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m¡­ spooked by how good it is, and that is an interesting combination of things, but it sounds like a lot of fun.¡± I say and flash a little smile.


    ¡°And what about you? Are you in school for anything? Please don¡¯t tell me you are still in high school?¡± he says, freezing in place, his fork literally halfway to his mouth.


    ¡°No, I am not in high school. I don¡¯t think I look like a high schooler.¡± I said, a little confused at his visible relaxation to the comment.


    I had been out of high school for a few years now and had been studying and working hard. I graduated early, but I think that made it harder to support myself. I had only been able to do school part time for the first two years.


    I had been really worried that I was going to lose my scholarship, so I made sure to get a job as early as I could. I didn¡¯t always like the jobs I got either and they never seemed to last long.  I didn¡¯t like thinking about that too much though.


    ¡°I was going to school for the performing arts. I was also considering coming back to Alaska at some point and time anyways. Honestly, I am not sure I am confused by a lot of things in my life right now. I just know that I had a strong sense of freedom here.


    ¡°I don¡¯t even know what the dance companies are like here. Maybe I just wanted to get away for a while before choosing a company to be a part of. Not everyone can be on Broadway. Do I even want to be on Broadway? Or do I want to be a part of a dance troupe?¡±


    I drop my head into my hands and feel a strong sense of frustration and helplessness.


    ¡°That was an unexpected answer, It sounds as though you are really confused. Take it slow and think it through, spend time away from any big names or fancy titles, or what have you. Tell me, what is it that YOU want to do?¡±


    ¡°I want to dance professionally, and/or perform in the theater.¡±


    ¡°See that wasn¡¯t so hard to answer now was it. And who says you need to go with a super flashy one if it stresses you out. Find one that you can be happy with.¡± He says and laughs a little bit. We pause and keep eating.

 Chapter 27: Breakfast Endings, Part 2

    ¡°That¡¯s true. I really agree with you as well. I also think about what happens if I get hurt? What do I do then? Ah well, there is no point in thinking about any of that right now. I am here for a year and I am going to enjoy it. Also this is pretty heavy talk for a first meeting with someone. Especially when they aren¡¯t even wearing pants.¡±


    ¡°Good point. So, you can talk to the ghosts. Can you see them? How many are there?¡± he says, kindly changing topics for me, which I appreciate.


    ¡°So far I have met and talked to Noah. I can¡¯t see him but I can talk to him. He is very nice.¡± I say and my mood is instantly improved, just by thinking about Noah.


    ¡°Well that is quite a smile. So are you and Noah good friends already, like good friends?¡± he adopts a goofy grin.


    ¡°I would like to think so.¡± A slow, sly smile creeps across my face. I give my hair a bit of a twirl. ¡°Are you jealous?¡±


    Luke looks at me, temporarily stunned. It was fair, I had rapidly gone from a very tense subject, one that causes me a lot of hurt, to lighthearted banter and flirting.


    ¡°I absolutely am. Where is he? I want to talk to him too. I want to have a best ghost buddy.¡±


    ¡°Honestly though, who doesn¡¯t?¡±


    As though they were offended that no one was talking about them Anubis and Bastet started intertwining themselves between my feet, purring loudly. I love when cats do that, it is like they are sharks that are circling their prey. It is cute beyond words. Kitty sharks doot doot do do.


    ¡°Do you like cats Luke?¡± I ask.


    ¡°I very much do. Here kitty kitty.¡± He says, putting his lap. Oh, sharp claws on bare skin sounds like a very bad idea.


    ¡°Are you sure that you want them to hop up?¡± I ask at the same instant that Bastet hops lightly onto his lap. I am very relieved that she does not use claws.


    ¡°Good human, your lap is very warm. Thank you for offering it up to me.¡± She says and paws his lap.


    ¡°Aw isn¡¯t she cute. The way that she is looking at me while she meows is adorable. It¡¯s like she is trying to talk to me. Meow, meow.¡±


    ¡°Haha, yes, trying to¡­You made our food so please let me take care of the dishes for you.¡± I offer and clear the table and wash all of the cooking implements that you were used. I also wiped down all of the counters as well.


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    ¡°Are you a little OCD?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I reply. ¡°Not so much. I believe that one kind deed is repaid by another. Don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Not really, but I do like the sentiment. Well then, thank you for taking care of that for us.¡±


    ¡°Of course. Now then, I am going to go take a bit of a walk around the cabin to help with digestion.¡±


    ¡°You sound like a little old lady.¡±


    ¡°Old people have a lot of wisdom and life experience, so I will take that as a compliment.¡± I say and head over to go out the door.


    ¡°Are you there Noah?¡± I ask as the cool air caresses my skin, like a lover, or for me it be more of like a dance partner. Not lover, why did I think that, yeah just dance partner.


    ¡°I am. Is that okay? I hope that it¡¯s okay. I like to be around you and it is really nice to be able to talk to someone. Oh no did I say that I like being around you outload? Please pretend that you didn¡¯t hear that.¡±


    ¡°Do I have to? It was a nice thing to hear. I like being around you as well. It¡¯s comforting and nice.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°Noah?¡±


    ¡°Is comforting a good thing? I don¡¯t know if when a girl ever says that, if it¡¯s really a good thing¡­¡± I hear Noah muttering under his breath.


    Wait, do ghosts have breath? If they don¡¯t how would they be able to talk? Do they just manipulate the sound waves around a person, or speak right into their minds? Gah, I need to snap out of it, physics and ghosts don¡¯t mesh. Sorry Noah, I don¡¯t mean to disappear into my mind!


    ¡°So about the stuff you were saying in there. Were you having a hard time before coming here?¡±


    ¡°I was. But it¡¯s okay now. I was just around a lot of toxic people, and just like other toxic things they were slowly poisoning me. But! If it¡¯s okay with you can we talk about some happy things? I would really like to know more about you, if that is okay?¡±


    ¡°You want to know about me? I don¡¯t think anyone has ever really wanted to know about me before, and there isn¡¯t much happy there to talk about.¡±


    ¡°Did you not have friends before¡­?¡± I cut myself off. I was about to say before you died, and that did not seem like a very good thing to say.


    ¡°Not really. I had a pretty hard time making friends. So I read a lot and played a lot of games.¡±


    ¡°I noticed that from your little nook in the library. I like to play games and read as well.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡± he said and I could hear excitement in his voice. ¡°What are your favorite things to read and your favorite kinds of games to play? And if you say first person shooters, well, I don¡¯t think we will be able to be friends.¡±


    I loved that I heard so much excitement in his voice. ¡°You know, I have never been able to talk about this with anyone before.¡± I say and pause a moment before saying, ¡°I like fantasy things¡­ But more than that I love love stories. Good ones, ones that you can get lost in. So I like playing romance visual novels. At home I hid them under my bed, and when I was away at school I would hide them around my school books, or put them in a bag with some of my old dance shoes and sneak play them.¡±


    ¡°Adorable¡­ Why were you so embarrassed by it? I thought that it was more acceptable for girls to play games like that?¡±


    ¡°I guess it also depends on the kind of people that you have around you. The others I was around looked down on that kind of thing. They would say that I should be out and about experiencing love and romance and¡­ Well other things in that same vein.¡±


    ¡°And you didn¡¯t?¡±


    That was a bit of a personal thing to ask, but I really didn¡¯t mind. ¡°No, I was never really romantically involved with anyone. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t like boys or have romantic feelings. I just didn¡¯t trust the boys that I was around, and my focus was very much on other things.¡± I shake my head. I did NOT want to think about the boys that were around me. Don¡¯t think about it. Don¡¯t think about it... Don¡¯t¡­


    ¡°Aurora?¡±

 Chapter 28: Last Birthday Party

    ¡°I like those kinds of games too.¡± Noah says, breaking my thoughts out of the tangled web that they were starting to become.


    ¡°I saw some of those in the library. What about you Noah? You didn¡¯t want to go out and experience romance and all the things that come with it firsthand?¡±


    ¡°If I didn¡¯t even have friends, what makes you think that I could get involved in romance?¡± he asks. I didn¡¯t like that it sounds like he was putting himself down.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay that you weren¡¯t really close to anyone. I don¡¯t see anything wrong with that.¡±


    ¡°You really don¡¯t? Well you would be the first.¡±


    ¡°Of course, I don¡¯t! Why in the world would I see anything wrong with that? You went through life at your own pace and seemed to do your own thing. I see nothing wrong with that. I actually really respect it and wish more people were able to be that way.¡± I say.


    This was something that I strongly believe in. I feel like people should be allowed to like what they like and live the way they want as long as it isn¡¯t hurting anyone. And people shouldn¡¯t be forced to do things that they really don¡¯t want or don¡¯t feel comfortable doing. I knew that one all too well.


    ¡°Thank you for saying that. Or I mean, thank you for meaning it, a lot of people say it but don¡¯t really mean it.¡±


    ¡°Hey Noah, is it possible for a ghost to be able to be seen and solid like a human? Because if it is possible I might just have an idea.¡±


    ***********************************************************************************************************


    She had an idea? Noah had no idea if he was excited or scared. A little bit of both he decided when he saw that satisfied smile on her face. Well, if he were to be honest with himself he would probably be willing to go along with any idea that she brought up.


    He had felt a little bit jealous when he saw her start to flirt with Luke. It wasn¡¯t fair, and they didn¡¯t even know each other that well. He knew that he had no claim to her time or attention. But he wanted both.


    Noah had never really gotten much time or attention. That thought brought him right back to the kid that he had been before, the one that desperately wanted friends, but always seemed to be on the outside looking in. The one that he was totally not anymore¡­ after all, now he was dead.


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    ¡°Hey guys. Umm¡­ It¡¯s my birthday next weekend and I was thinking about having some people over to celebrate it with me. Would you want to come?¡± Noah says and holds out an invitation to his birthday party.


    At thirteen he thought that he was too old to have a birthday, but his mom had actually gone to the trouble to take time off from work to be there with him. To rent movies, order pizza and pick up some video games for rent as well. He thought that it would be a lot of fun. No one had been willing to come the last few years, but he was still willing to try, just this one last time. Afterall, he had been in the hospital for the last few birthdays.


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯ll think about it, yeah?¡± said the boy that Noah was holding the invitation out to, Mikey.


    He was the nicest guy in the class, one that was able to get along with anyone. Noah felt good about his response, that he really might come to his birthday! ¡°Do you want any help handing those out?¡±


    ¡°Really, you don¡¯t mind helping me hand them out?¡± he knew that if Mikey helped him hand them out that people would be much more likely to come.


    Noah liked the thought of that, and him helping Noah hand them out made it feel like he had a friend. Noah had always wanted to have friends, but it was hard with how infrequently he was at school.


    ¡°If I minded, I wouldn¡¯t have offered. Do you have anyone specific in mind to invite?¡± Noah shook his head. He didn¡¯t know who to invite. ¡°Okay then, instead of splitting the stack like I had originally thought we should let¡¯s walk together and I can help you decide who to invite.¡±


    Noah nodded. That sounded good. He didn¡¯t really know his peers very well. He wanted to voice that they should make sure to invite some girls as well, but the ability was far above his current social level.


    During their break times Noah and Mikey handed out all of the invitations and the overall consensus was positive. Although he still felt that he was too old for it, Noah was becoming really excited about the thought of people coming over.


    Time seemed to fly by and it was finally the day of Noah¡¯s birthday party. Most of the kids that had been invited showed up, gifts in hand. His mother had set up a table for the gifts to go on and indicated it to the kids. Most kids his age would be embarrassed to have their moms around, but Noah just felt glad that she had made time to be there for him.


    After pizza, cake, ice cream and the opening of his presents Noah and his classmates all settled down to play video games. If there was one thing that Noah was good at, it was playing video games. He always tried to play them all the way through and unlock all of the achievements that he could. Sometimes the nurses would sit with him and give him high fives for unlocking a new one.


    ¡°Dang Noah, you beat me again!¡± Mikey said and playfully groaned.


    This got some of the other boys jumping in and praising Noah for his skills. This led to making jokes and seeing who can get people to laugh the hardest, even if the jokes were overdone or stupid.


    Noah hadn¡¯t heard most of them, so he laughed the hardest out of everyone. He laughed so hard that he suddenly wasn¡¯t able to breathe. Noah tried to remain calm hoping it would pass soon, but instead the room started to spin. The other kids didn¡¯t notice it, but Noah¡¯s mom did.


    ¡°Everyone get away from him! What, are you stupid? Can¡¯t you see that HE CAN¡¯T BREATHE?¡± Feeling afraid for Noah, and that if she hadn¡¯t caught him in time the consequences could have been worse, she took it out on the kids around Noah.


    She lost track of what she was yelling at them for, and Noah lost track of what she was saying as he struggled to breathe.


    Noah¡¯s mom yelled for his dad to take all of the kids home as she had to take Noah to the hospital. While the others didn¡¯t hold this against Noah, no one was willing to come over again, and the thought to invite Noah to their homes never even crossed their minds.

 Chapter 29: I Dont Shoes

    ¡°I think that it is possible. I definitely think that it is possible. And I will make it happen! You know, if it can happen, and if so I will be sure to make it happen. I mean, you can hear me now and you weren¡¯t able to before. Maybe I become more real the more you believe in me?


    ¡°No, of course that can¡¯t be the case Noah, don¡¯t be stupid. But what if it is? Or maybe I become more solid and ¡®real¡¯ the closer our relationship become? Or the more of a desire I have to be real?¡±


    ¡°Noah, hey! I think you are spiraling. That¡¯s okay but how about you spiral in a little bit? I really want to tell you about the idea that I came up with, although to be fair it is a bit embarrassing.¡± I say and look down at my hands.


    A little embarrassing, no it was a lot embarrassing. But I really think that it has the potential to be a lot of fun as well. I feel myself begin to tremble, just a bit. I don¡¯t think that it is noticeable though, right?


    ¡°Oh, sorry about that. I don¡¯t often have others to talk to, so I sort of got used to talking out loud to myself. Now, what were you saying about an idea that you have?¡±


    ¡°Well.¡± I say and draw out the word. ¡°What if we re-enact some of our favorite scenes from those games? You know, some of the really cute ones, or ones that are so sweet it is like licking a sugar cube, oh! Or the ones that make your heart pound.¡±


    I feel very shy about having brought up the idea. I know that I was the one who brought it up, but this was unlike anything that I had ever done before. My parents had been very strict about dating, and once leaving the house I was altogether too busy to be able to date. It did help that after this year I would never see or hear from Noah again, so we can be as cringy as we want.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± I attempted a calm tone while mentally berating myself, dumb, dumb, why would I say that? Go, run and hide¡­ my feet really should be moving.


    ¡°You? With me? Do what? I¡­ I¡­ Noah cannot compute. I repeat, Noah cannot compute. System reboot¡­¡±


    I laugh a little bit, and hope that I hadn¡¯t broken his brain. Noah seemed really fun to be around. I haven¡¯t known him for very long at all, but sometimes that doesn¡¯t matter. Connections can be made quickly and still be strong and meaningful.  As though my laughter had broken him out of his trance I hear him softly say.


    ¡°Are you sure? And are you sure you are asking the right person, I mean ghost?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I am very sure. Do you think that sounds like fun?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± he says a little loud, then ¡°yes¡± at a much more normal speaking volume.


    ¡°Great! But first we need to figure out how you can be solid.¡±


    We talk a bit more about this and that and soon enough we head inside. I walk in and see Luke wearing pants, but not a shirt. Well, he got it half right, at this rate he should be fully clothed by dinner. So I decide I am not going to complain.


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Hey Little Rawr. Look! I put on pants. A bit less sexy now but I thought that you would appreciate the gesture.¡±


    ¡°You are right, I do.¡± I nod. ¡°What are you up to?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not actually sure what I want to do. So far since coming here I have done some exploring, set up some of my equipment in different rooms and watched a few movies. Hey, I know! Do you want to go for a short walk with me and see if we can find any of the edible plants nearby?¡±


    ¡°Sure, why not. But only if it is really nearby, I have already been walking around for a while and the amount of physical activity I can handle has been reduced lately.¡±


    ¡°The day just started, how can you be tired already?¡±


    ¡°I am not. I am saving my energy to make attempts at dancing later, thus I have less to spare for foraging.¡±


    ¡°Attempts? I thought that dancing is what you wanted to do with your life. How come it is only attempts?¡±


    ¡°Just because that¡¯s where I am at right now. A little nosy today?¡±


    ¡°You can say today because we just met today. Soon enough you will know that I am always nosy. All of the time. I am never not nosy. It is after all an important tool for any chef.¡±


    I lift an eyebrow at him.


    ¡°What can I say? I am a curious fella! I like to sniff out the truth.¡±


    I shrug my shoulders at him.  I really had no idea what to say to that.  How do you respond to that.  ¡°As long as you understand that turn around is fair play.  It¡¯s fine to be nosy, but you gotta give as much as you get.  You get me?¡±


    ¡°That is a lot of saying the word ¡®get¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Yes.  Yes it is.  You go get on a shirt and shoes.  I need to run upstairs and get some sturdy shoes and a sweater.¡± Before he can respond I turn and make my way up the stairs.


    Once in my room I begin to methodically go through my clothing.  For some reason I hadn¡¯t organized it.  Why hadn¡¯t I organized it?!  I sigh.  Nothing I can do about it right now.


    I have been cleaning the rest of the cabin so well that I have neglected my own room.  That thought triggered a conversation that I had with someone I went to school with.  I would like to think of them as a friend, but we never stayed in touch. Historically that is what my friends did, so I think it is safe to call her one.


    ¡°You take care of others too much.  Who is going to take care of you?¡±


    ¡°No one.  Now let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°No one?  Don¡¯t you think that is unfair.¡±


    ¡°If I wanted life to be fair I would go to a carnival.  As soon as someone actually wants to take care of me, I will consider letting them.¡±


    I shake my head rapidly back and forth.  No, not right now.  I did not want to get lost in my head right now.  I had already agreed to go walking with Luke and it is already taking too long to try and find a sweater.


    ¡°Ugh!¡± I moan to myself.


    ¡°Anubis help.  What find?¡± asks Anubis.  Wait, where did he come from?


    ¡°Thank you Anubis.  I am looking for a sweater.¡± I say and point to the clothes that are still in two bags.


    ¡°I am sweeter¡± he raises his paw to his face ¡°found?¡±


    ¡°Ohhh¡± I scoop him up and place a kiss on his little nose. ¡°Yes ,you are sweet, but we are looking for a sweater.¡± I pronounce it slowly for the little bean.


    ¡°Bastet keep Luke company with loud purrs.  Anubis help find sweater!¡±


    He rubs against me a few times and then jumps into the bag and paws through some clothes. ¡°What is sweater?¡±


    I describe a sweater when I find a few grouped together.  I pull them out and throw them onto my bed.  ¡°Dinosaur or cat?¡±


    ¡°Cats are best meow!¡± Anubis says, hops on the bed, and makes a few biscuits on the hoodie, trying to make sure that his opinion was taken.


    ¡°When you are right, you¡¯re right.¡± I say, scoop Anubis off of the sweater and put it on.


    It was a black pull over sweater, with white cat ears on the hood, and white paws at the hands.  On the sweater itself there was a white cat curled up on a book.  I pull it on over my head.


    ¡°At least I have my shoes out and organized.¡± I say and point to the closet.  There were a few pairs: heals, flats, running and sturdy.  Those were my classifications of course.  I grab the sturdy ones and put them on and make my way down the stairs.


    ¡°I don¡¯t shoes.¡±

 Chapter 30: Is it Edible or Poison?

    Luke sits and pets Bastet while waiting for Aurora to come back down the stairs. ¡°That girl seems a little on the strange side. I like her.¡± He says and scratches Bastet¡¯s head.


    ¡°Of course, and you should. She is a very nice girl.¡± Bastet says to Luke, even though she was purrfectly aware that he wasn¡¯t able to understand her.


    ¡°Aurora made a comment indicating that you and Anubis talk. I¡¯m on to you.¡± Luke says and pets between her ears. He gets a few more good pets in before he starts sneezing.


    ¡°And that is about all I can take of that.¡± He says and moves away from Bastet. ¡°Do you think that Aurora is a ghost? I mean, some people don¡¯t realize they are ghosts. Or is that something that just happens in movies? I will have to analyze and document her behaviors in the journal. Yes, I shall have to observe her very closely.


    After all I already know that we supposedly have been here for days without running into each other. So, clearly¡­ wait am I a ghost, no that is silly. Be a ghost Aurora, please be a ghost.¡± He says with his fingers crossed. He stops saying it to himself just in time to look up to see Aurora coming down the stairs.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Noah wants to follow Luke and Aurora outside the cabin and talk with her some more. ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯m jealous. I just like spending time with her and talking with her. I¡¯m sure that is only because I haven¡¯t talked with anyone in a while. I haven¡¯t, right?¡± he says and pauses.


    He has the smallest thought in the back of his head of there being a few others that had been around, and they talked and played games with each other? Was that something that happened or that he had read in a book? He honestly couldn¡¯t tell sometimes as even when he was alive, he had a habit of falling deeply into fantasy.


    ¡°They can go have fun walking around, I have something else to go do anyways.¡± He says out loud to himself as he makes his way to the library. ¡°Okay so I need to find the occult section¡­  Occult¡­ I know that it¡¯s around here somewhere. This is silly! I am a ghost that needs to do research in the occult section. What is this, some hokey web novel?¡± he shakes his head and begins to read the titles.


    ¡°¡¯Cooking Up Some Witchcraft: Devil¡¯s Food Cake and More!¡¯ Unless I can cook up a new body that won¡¯t help.¡± Just in case Noah opens the book, but alas there was no recipe for making a body. Which after seeing some of the recipes he was glad for, it would likely require a heart or some other organ, just eww.


    ¡°¡®Get That Body Back! How to Possess Your Body Before It Decays!¡¯ I don¡¯t know where my body is, or how long it has been there, so I don¡¯t think that this one is going to be helpful either.¡±


    Noah had decided that he was going to keep talking out loud. He figured that the more he practiced that easier that it would become.


    ¡°Is there really nothing here that is going to be of help to me?¡± he says in frustration, flipping through book after book. It was only by taking one book out that he was able to see one shoved behind the rest of the books in a hidden alcove.


    ¡°¡¯Closer to Human, Closer to Whole¡¯. This looks promising.¡± Noah takes the book and makes his way over to his little sitting area and begins to read.


    I hope that this book is of help to all who find it. Even the dead can find thigs to enjoy about life. It is only being near and having strong, positive interactions with the living that one can feel alive again, inside and out. In these pages hides truths and knowledge about learning physical manifestation.


    ¡°There really is a book in here that can help me! I thought that this section only existed to be ironic. Jokes on me. Yay.¡± Noah says with a small, sweet smile.


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°Okay, show me that book so that I know what it is that I am looking for.¡± I ask Luke when we start heading away from the cabin.


    He pauses and holds it open. ¡°Okay, I need you to hand it to me because you are a bit too tall. It¡¯s hard to see it the way you are holding it.¡± I say and hold my hands out for the book. This causes him to laugh. ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡±


    ¡°You are Little Rawr. Now you aren¡¯t just a dinosaur you are a small cat trying to roar. It¡¯s so funny. And standing like this shows me how much shorter you are than me. It¡¯s cute, that¡¯s all.¡±


    I didn¡¯t think that I was that short, honestly. I was 5¡¯3¡±, which¡­ Okay I am short. While some people think that it is too short for a dancer, that isn¡¯t entirely accurate. Some of my favorite dance styles include tricks and being tiny I got to learn and perfect those tricks. For partners that wanted to show off my shortness was a boon.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know whether to argue against you or take that as a compliment. If you mix them then it just seems like I am arguing against your compliment, which seems a bit silly doesn¡¯t it?¡± I ask him. ¡°Well are you going to let me see the book or not?¡±


    ¡°The only thing silly is how you phrased that, and here you go.¡±


    I take it from him and look through the book trying to commit each plant to memory. Taking a few minutes on each page as I slowly flip through it.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be easier to take pictures on your phone for reference?¡±


    ¡°No. My phone is currently dead to me.¡± I say and flip to the next page to try to absorb the information on that page as well.


    ¡°I am guessing that I shouldn¡¯t ask the reason. In an attempt to keep things light hearted I will restrain myself from further inquisition. You know, since we only one reference book, let¡¯s stay together, okay?¡±


    ¡°That sounds good to me.¡± I tell him, and we begin to walk around. It became clear to me very fast that this was going to be much harder than it sounded. We would walk over to the trees, and look at the fungi growing around it and compare them to the ones in the book.


    ¡°Does this look edible or poisonous?¡± Luke asks me. ¡°It could be a Paddy Straw or¡­ a death cap, shall we risk it?¡±


    ¡°I have no idea, and I value my life just enough to not try it.¡± I respond. Of all the ways to go, poisoning sounded like one of the most awful, hands down.


    ¡°Yeah. Hmm, well then¡­ Let¡¯s look over here. Apparently, there are ferns that grow around here that are good for eating, I have a wonderful idea for a stew if we can find them.¡±


    ¡°That sounds a lot safer than looking for mushrooms.¡± I say, and let him lead the way, although walking on this uneven ground was starting to cause me some pain.


    ¡°Although I don¡¯t know how much longer I can keep walking around out here like this.¡± I say, feeling frustration wash over me. I know that rehabilitation takes time, and that I won¡¯t be able to quickly get back to the health and energy levels I was at prior to hospitalization, but this is still really awful.


    ¡°Okay Little Rawr. That sounds good.¡±


    We trek around a bit longer and to our satisfaction we are able to find some fiddlehead ferns. Luke was grinning from ear to ear and heaping praise on me as I was the one to spot them. It felt¡­ Really good to be praised. It wasn¡¯t something that I was used to. This thought brings up some bad memories for me.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°What do you want me to do, praise you for that performance. You do know you need to be praise worthy to get praise right? Ugh, I really thought better of you, or else I wouldn¡¯t have chosen you as a partner. I mean, you don¡¯t even put out.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? We came in first place, so what is your complaint?¡±


    ¡°You were supposed to be helping me get a scholarship you dumb bitch. Use your head!¡± he says and slaps me upside the head harder than could ever be considered playful.


    Unfortunately, I knew that this was something that I would have to put up with when I partnered with him. Sadly, he had chosen me and wouldn¡¯t even let anyone else ask to partner with me for this competition.


    ¡°Yes, and like I said we came in first place. You should be praising me and not hitting me. If not for me there is no way that you would have been able to get first place with your sloppy performance.¡± I hissed at him. That caused him to actually slap me across the face instead of upside the head.


    ¡°My sloppy footing? Seriously? If you had just slept with one of the judges we would have gotten perfect scores!¡±


    ¡°We were only a few points off from perfect. You should be able to get a scholarship. And if someone should screw the judges it should be you. You are the one looking to get something out of it. I just had to place to be able to keep my scholarship. They see actual potential in me after all.¡±


    He raised his hand at me again, and I wasn¡¯t fast enough to dodge and it hurt.


    ¡°Potential, you? Are you that stupid? And how do you think we got that score, some of us carry our weight.¡±


    I was so done with this. I planned on never partnering with this piece of crap again anyways so before he knew what was happening, he got my knee in his crotch. As he doubled over I spat my bloody spit on his face.


    ¡°Normally I would say something witty, but I fear you wouldn¡¯t understand. So how about something you will. Fuck you.¡±

 Chapter 31: Country Dancing

    ¡°Hey Little Rawr, are you okay?¡± he asks me, clearly concerned.


    ¡°Huh, oh yeah. I just got lost in my head for a moment there, nothing to worry about.¡±


    ¡°You get lost often, a lot of demons in your past?¡± he asks.


    ¡°Hmm, no more or less than anyone.¡± I say and flash him a bright smile.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Luke enjoyed spending time outside with Aurora. She was cute and had an easy smile, when she wasn¡¯t a thousand miles away that is. He also enjoyed teasing her. He picked up a mushroom and chased her around with it telling her that she must eat the mushroom to gain it¡¯s amazing and shroomtastic powers.


    ¡°What does that even mean?¡± she had shouted at him.


    ¡°We will find out once you eat it. Bwahahahaha!¡¯ he said and continued to run after her.


    He saw her foot catch on a branch, and he quickly threw the mushroom and caught her in his arms. ¡°Sorry about that Aurora.¡±


    He says, so thrown off that he accidentally called her by her given name instead of the fantastic one he had come up with for her. A tragedy indeed, but It was definitely less of a tragedy than if she had twisted her ankle. He knew that he should let her go, but wanted to hold on for a few extra moments, after all he saved her so that made it only slightly creepy.


    Not to mention she was weak on her feet at the moment, and he needed to check her over for a moment. It was for science! He had to make sure that she really was a human, being able to make physical contact was a good sign. With the few extra, not creepy moments, he bought himself he did his best to count fingers and toes. She could be some kind of cryptid.


    She was short, warm, smelled really nice, was on the thin side, too thin if one were to ask him. He could also hear her breathing from what appeared to be a normal circulatory system. Her heart had been beating fast when he first caught her and was gradually slowing down.


    He wondered if her hair colors were something that she chose, or if had some supernatural origin. Her hair was purple, blue and green, and with her wavy hair it looked like the aurora when she was moving around. Coincidence?


    ¡°Hey Luke, don¡¯t you think that you should put me down now? Just a thought¡­¡± she said and he realized that he would seem like a creeper if he kept holding onto her, well more of a creeper.


    He gently let go, making sure that she didn¡¯t again. That would not be cool at all. ¡°Are you named after your hair?¡±


    ¡°Thanks and no, how would that make any sense?¡± She says awkwardly. ¡°It¡¯s weird for you to call me my name. Which is odd because I have only known you for a few hours.¡±


    ¡°I know I know, and you feel like you have known me forever right? Alas for is me, too handsome am I, far too attractive and alluring.¡± Luke flashes her his best smile and wiggles his eyebrows. He sees the tension leave her shoulders that had been there since he caught her.


    ¡°You know what? Yeah that¡¯s actually a bit true.¡± She pinches her thumb and forefinger together leaving the smallest of space. ¡°Now let¡¯s take those ferns and get back to the cabin.¡±


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Noah was feeling a tiny bit frustrated. This book had seemed promising at first, but now it was just becoming illogical. All it gave was vague phrases, like a fortune cookie. ¡°No wonder you were shoved into the corner of that shelf, you annoying book you.¡± He said, attempting to threaten the book into giving up its secrets to him.


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°If I read this right then it seems that I just need to have a strong relationship with someone living. But what exactly does that mean? What does that look like? Is this any kind of relationship?¡±


    Groaning Noah re-opens the book and reads back through everything that he looked over earlier. ¡°Do I need to do quests in order to get clearer instructions on how to physically manifest?¡± he says out loud to himself while secretly hoping the book would start glowing. Noah pauses for a moment to give it time, but alas a quest was not given.


    He just wished that he had clear answers. Well, there was one thing that he had learned from the book, and that was that he needed to be around living people and create connections with them.


    ¡°It would be easier to just focus on one person, but maybe it would be better to develop a connection to multiple people? Is it the more the better or is it quality over quantity?¡± he had never been so frustrated with a book before.


    He had a strong desire to lecture the book, or shame it into giving him answers. He would do it if he thought that it would work. Or, well, he would try it a second time. Surely a book about the supernatural would have secrets, that had to be unlocked with secret methods. Noah nodded to himself as he tried to assure himself his actions made sense and were not at all absurd.


    ¡°That¡¯s it, I will stay around Aurora as much as possible, as well as observe Luke. I don¡¯t know if I am going to want to talk to him right away or not.¡± He didn¡¯t have a problem with Luke, but he felt like there was a connection with Aurora. He felt almost as if he has met her before.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°Are you sure that your ankle is feeling alright? Did I catch you before you had the chance to twist it?¡± Luke asks me. Again.


    ¡°For the fifth time my ankle is fine. I appreciate you worrying about me but I really am okay.¡±


    Luke gives me a side eye, trying to see through me. ¡°I hear that dancers can be a little on the crazy side when it comes to practicing. You wouldn¡¯t try dancing on an injured ankle would you? Let me see you rotate it, and then jump up and down!¡±


    ¡°No. Not this time at least. I have done that in the past for sure, but I don¡¯t have any reason to hide an injury here. I have no shows coming up, no recitals, no grades. Nothing. I have a lot of time to rest if I felt that I needed to. Right now though, I really am fine. See¡± I say as I demonstrate the many uses for an ankle, rotate and flex, yeah that is about it.


    ¡°I have no choice but to¡­  Follow you and keep an eye on you while you dance. This is absolutely mandatory with no other ulterior motives.¡±


    ¡°And making sure that I¡¯m not hurt is your only reason for watching me dance?¡±


    ¡°Did you not hear my no other ulterior motives, that means it is totally the only reason. And not that I want to see you moving around in yoga pants why would I want that? Makes no sense, I tell you. I just need to keep an eye on you to make sure you aren¡¯t hurt¡­ and that you aren¡¯t a ghost.¡±


    I look at him, gauging him. He was honest, I would give him that. Many other girls would blush at the compliment, but I am not most other girls. Not anymore. Now it is almost as though I am gauging danger level when anyone compliments me.


    ¡®And yet I was comfortably able to flirt with him earlier. And when he caught me he didn¡¯t do an accidentally on purpose grope.¡¯ I think to myself. I decide to trust him, for now, somewhat. Yes, a modicum amount of trust has been bestowed upon him. We would be living together for the foreseeable future after all.


    ¡°Alright. You can come along. I do have a question though. Do you want to watch, or do you want to learn?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t doubt that you are a very good dance teacher, but unless you know any country dances then I don¡¯t think that you will have much luck with me.¡±


    ¡°Are you talking about line dancing, square dancing or the country two-step?¡±


    Luke stares at me without saying anything for a couple moments too long.


    ¡°Umm, hello? Luke?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I just got a little startled. I know that you are a dancer, but I figured that meant you learned classical dances, with maybe some jazz or modern thrown in there. But country dancing?¡±


    ¡°Haha, there is a story behind knowing how to do country dancing. Well, I know them for two reasons actually. I learned some during high school as an extra elective. That was an interesting school, and I have no idea how that became an elective. I was one of only a handful in the class. It was fun though.


    ¡°I nearly forgot how to do it though until a drunken bet one night. I don¡¯t remember why we were drinking or who started the bet. All I know was that I lost, woke up the next day with my first and last hang over, and a sticky note telling myself that I had to learn the country two-step well enough to do it in an upcoming dance competition.¡±


    ¡°Haha, how did that go, and did someone record it?¡±


    ¡°Surprisingly well, and no all evidence has been destroyed. My dance partner was an easy-going guy that was nice to everyone. I did make sure to introduce myself to his boyfriend before we started learning the dances together.¡±


    ¡°How could you destroy such a priceless treasure, but that was nice of you. The boyfriend thing, not the destruction of art!¡±


    ¡°I try to be courteous. I know that if I was in a relationship with someone, that¡¯s something that I would have liked. Some dances can be rather intimate, so introducing yourself to your dance partner¡¯s romantic partner was something that I learned to do early.¡±


    ¡°Was it a common practice at your school, or with your friends? And I¡¯m sorry did you just say country dancing is intimate?¡±


    I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. ¡°Not as common as it should be, and that all depends on how you dance.¡± I had seen relationships ruined because of this. It is never fun.

 Chapter 32: Takes Two to Two-Step

    I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. ¡°Not as common as it should be, and that all depends on how you dance.¡± I had seen relationships ruined because of this. It is never fun.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°What do you mean you didn¡¯t know he had a girlfriend?¡±


    ¡°If I knew that he had a girlfriend I would have came and introduced myself to you, and ran through our routine with you to make sure that you are comfortable with it.¡±


    She raises her hand to me as though she is going to hit me, and freezes like that. It seems as though there is a war going on within her. ¡°What is your name again?¡±


    ¡°Aurora Summers.¡±


    She remains frozen and then drops her hand. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of you. I¡¯ve heard how respectful you are. I guess he really must not have told you he was dating someone.¡±


    ¡°He really didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Did you sleep with him?¡±


    ¡°No! We were just dance partners. We had no conversations outside of dancing and our routine.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m sorry for calling you out like this. You seem like a good person Aurora. But just know that if you are lying I will go crazy on you, white chick crazy.¡±


    ¡°I appreciate the heads up. But nothing happened.¡±


    ¡°I might break up with him anyways.¡± She says, clearly still mad, and annoyed that she had to change targets of her anger.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°You have a look. The kind that says you have seen some stuff.¡± Luke¡¯s voice snaps me out of the memory.


    ¡°I have.¡±


    ¡°That explains the look then, and since we are still just getting to know each other I feel it would be too personal for me to ask. Let¡¯s go dance.¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. Do you know any country two-step already Luke?¡±


    He smiles big and bright. ¡°Actually, I do know some, I know exactly two steps... I didn¡¯t think that you would know any, and all puns aside I am now really excited to do some dancing.¡±


    I return his smile. ¡°How did you get into dancing?¡±


    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    ¡°My family are big country lovers, so my dad signed us all up. I really liked it so I kept going to their dances. My last girlfriend wasn¡¯t the biggest fan of it though, so I haven¡¯t danced for a while.¡± Luke puts on a painful cowboy accent.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure that you will be able to pick it up quickly again. And, if you don¡¯t mind, please stop with the bad accent. I just can¡¯t even.¡±


    ¡°Well I know how to take criticism¡± luckily he goes back to his normal speech. ¡°Guess we will have to wait and see how much I remember.¡±


    ¡°By any chance do you also know the country swing?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, a little bit but I am not that good at it so I¡¯d rather stick to the two-step.¡±


    ¡°Alright, well I was going to do dance now. I¡¯ll show you were the dance studio, if you don¡¯t already know where it is and then I am going change clothes. This is good trekking around outside clothes, but I need clothes that are for dancing.¡±


    ¡°You know I think our rooms are right across the hall from each other. Making it weirder that we haven¡¯t run into each other before today.¡± He ruffles his hair a bit. ¡°Let¡¯s just go to the second floor. I¡¯ll wait in my room for you.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    We quietly make our way to the second floor. Before going into my room I say, ¡°Hey Noah I am going to change into some dance clothes and then go to the dance studio with Luke. If you can hear me you should join us.¡±


    I sit on the floor in front of my clothes bags again. That¡¯s it, after I dance a bit I was going to come in here are put these clothes away, and get everything tidied up. I know there was some significance to the fact I would clean the whole cabin but leave my room in disarray, significance I would not be looking into. I dig through the clothes just a little and easily pull out some dance clothes.


    ¡°Country dancing huh?¡± I have a bit of a sense of humor so pull out some clothes that I would see at a western dance night. A cute tank top and some cut off, daisy duke jean shorts. I stare at the daisy duke shorts and set them aside.


    I didn¡¯t think that I would be dancing with Luke the entire time. I grab some spandex type shorts, throw those on and toss a white skirt on top of it. I grab some dance flats as well.


    ¡°Ready to go.¡± I say and step out of my room. I see Luke standing outside of his room, it was just across the hall from me. Wait had that door always been there?


    It looks like he was waiting for me. I raise an eyebrow when I see that he had thrown on some jeans and cowboy boots.


    ¡°What? I like to dress the part.¡± His smile is just so warm and friendly that I can¡¯t help but shake my head.


    My loose hair sticks to my face and I try to blow it out of the way. ¡°Blech, hair. Does. Not. Taste. Good!¡± I give my head a vigorous shake. I had a hair tie around me wrist but I was holding my shoes so I would have to wait until we get to the studio to pull it up.


    ¡°I like to dress the part as well.¡± I say, and give a spin while walking, skirt twirling just right around me.


    ¡°Save that for dancing with me!¡± Luke declares.


    ¡°Oh fine, fine.¡±


    ¡°Wait, he is going to be dancing with you? No, that can¡¯t be, it was supposed to be me first¡­¡± Noah asks, concerned.


    ¡°Yup, he knows how to country two-step. And as much as I can enjoy some dance solos, my favorite is still partner dancing.


    ¡°I see. So that is why, that doesn¡¯t make him your partner does it. It isn¡¯t like you like him more than me or anything, right? No, even if you did that¡¯s okay, you can like whoever you want. But you don¡¯t already like him more than me do you?¡± he asks, barely above a whisper.


    ¡°Noah, I would love to teach you how to dance as well, so you should work on your physical manifestation so we can do that,¡±


    ¡°Oh, is Noah here too?¡± Luke asks, growing excited. ¡°Noah, can you say something to me?¡± He speaks loudly and slowly when attempting to communicate with the spirit.


    ¡°What are you doing? Can you not hear me?¡± Noah asks, a bit startled.


    That startled me as well. Why wouldn¡¯t Luke be able to hear Noah. I mean, I guess he couldn¡¯t hear the cats either¡­ ahh crap I sound like a crazy person.


    ¡°Did you just hear Noah ask you if you can hear him?¡±


    ¡°I really want to say yes, but no, no I did not.¡± he states.


    ¡°He seems just as confused as you as to why you can¡¯t hear him. Maybe the two of you just haven¡¯t been around each other enough yet? Maybe you have to be on the same wavelength or have a better understanding of one another?¡± I throw out, although I clearly have no idea what I am talking about.


    ¡°Well, that is worth considering It sounds like it might be right. Still strange though. Not that I¡¯m saying you¡¯re lying but, I can¡¯t rule it out ya know.¡±


    I shrug a bit. That was something that I could do nothing about right now, and we were at the dance studio. I understand that Luke wants to talk with Noah, but at the moment I was just not up for being a translator.


    ¡°That is something to think about later though.¡± I say and walk into the dance studio. A feeling rushes over me, nearly dropping me to my knees, head spinning.

 Chapter 33: Dance Partner

    Not again I think as the worry starts to build. I can feel the panic welling up inside of me, trying to take over. Instead, I do my best to ground myself.


    What do I see? Luke, not looking at me concerned yet. I¡¯d like to keep it that way. What do I hear? Silence, when there should be music playing. What do I smell? Yeah, that¡¯s not one that I want to focus on in this room. Just seems like a bad idea. What do I feel? I wiggle my toes a bit. The ground. Okay, that¡¯s better.


    ¡°Here, can you go plug this into the sound system and turn on the country playlist? I need to get my shoes on.¡± I say that as an excuse. I¡¯m still stuck in my head. The last person that wanted to partner dance with me¡­


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Hard floor under by back as I hit the ground hard.


    Pain in my head, confusion from the impact.


    A knee trying to force¡­


    No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I am not doing this memory, I can¡¯t, I won¡¯t. Somehow, I am able to push through the memory, skipping to the end.


    My knee slamming against someone and my fist in their face.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    I don¡¯t know what the hell has been going on with my head since coming here, but I almost feel like there is something digging through my mind. Trying to find the things I am keeping hidden, buried deep. The things I don¡¯t want to think about. Memories best thrown away.


    ¡°You ready to go?¡± Luke asks as I finish slipping my shoes on.


    ¡°I am absolutely ready.¡± I say, flashing a too bright smile. Either he doesn¡¯t notice or is nice enough not to comment on how off my smile is.


    ¡°Just so you know, before I hit play, you let me choose the music.¡± With an all too gleeful smile Luke pushes the play button.


    Following words with actions I walk over to Luke and slip my hand into his, we form up, and start in closed position. Quick quick, slow slow. Quick quick slow slow. We start easy, feeling each other out, falling into comfortable rhythm. Okay, nice. Now we open things up, promenade.


    ¡°Hey, Aurora, this feels a lot stiffer than I usually do. I know that we aren¡¯t super comfortable with each other, but let¡¯s casual dance this instead of the more formal positions.¡±


    ¡°Oh, good I¡¯m so glad that you said something. Dancing closer is a lot more comfortable than that stiff frame nonsense.¡±  We both comfortably laugh at that. Once a body learns how to dance I feel that it is like getting back onto a bike. I don¡¯t know if everyone feels that way.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    It isn¡¯t until my hair flies back into my face that I realize that I never pulled it up. During our next set of turns I dip my head back and shake it a bit.


    ¡°You know your hair looks like the northern lights when spinning like that, especially with you shaking your hair. Gasp, is that where you get your name sake?¡±


    ¡°Thanks, but my name came before the hair. I did dye my hair like this for just that reason though.¡±  My hair falls to the center of my back, is wavy and dyed blue, green and purple, with just the smallest whisps of red in it as well.


    ¡°I assumed it was intentional. So do you like your name then?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes. Other times I don¡¯t so much.¡±


    ¡°Let me guess, it depends on if guys are trying to use it in a pickup line.¡±


    ¡°Yup¡­¡± we pause long enough for me to pull my hair back and dance a bit longer.


    ¡°Thank you for dancing with me Little Rawr, it was a lot of fun. I¡¯m going to go cook. Come on down when you get hungry.¡±


    ¡°Sounds good.¡± I say. When he is out I look over to the pole in the corner of the room. I had been taking pole dance lessons to help with my self-esteem. It had been getting pretty low when someone recommended pole dancing to me. When dancing only students of the class were allowed, no visitors in order to help us feel safe and free.


    I¡¯d actually had a really hard time relaxing enough to let go and enjoy this new dance style. Some people don¡¯t see it as dance but we call those people wrong. It helped me learn to be less rigid, which was something else that I had been having trouble with.


    Something else I was learning was aerials with the ribbon. It felt like I was flying. I wasn¡¯t great at it, but I didn¡¯t expect to be good at everything anyways.


    I look around the room and contemplate what I want to do next. I stare at the pole for a few moments and decide against it. It doesn¡¯t feel right. Instead I did a few contemporary dance solos.


    ¡°Darn, I thought she was going to try pole dancing next. Though, maybe she doesn¡¯t know how, perhaps I should ask? Nope too embarrassing.¡± Noah mutters quietly in the corner unable to be heard over the music.


    ¡°As much fun as this is, I still love partner dancing the best.¡± I shrug my shoulders. Just because a lot of the people that I danced with were the bottom feeders of human society doesn¡¯t mean that I don¡¯t love it. ¡°Just need people I can trust for it. Especially the stunts. Do you wanna learn Noah?¡±


    ¡°Umm, well¡­  If you think that I would be able to learn then I think I would really like to learn. If you think I could that is. Also, I do need to be visible and have some substance.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.¡±


    It felt as though the rest of the day flew by. Food, shows, some joking around. Talking about cooking, dancing, ghosts and everything else that popped into our heads. Noah joined in the conversation as best he could, with me having to translate everything for him. Altogether though, I think it ended up being a pretty good day.


    ¡°You know, if you are just faking all of this I am going to have to give you major points for improvisation. I almost want it to be fake just to see how long you can keep it up, but for some reason I think you are telling the truth, but. But why Mr. ghost, why am I not allowed to hear you?


    ¡°It isn¡¯t fair I tell you.¡± Luke takes a drink from his, not first, glass of wine. ¡°Oh apparition speak to me, I await to hear your words.¡±


    ¡°Night boys. I¡¯m beat. Hopefully I will have less active dreams tonight.¡±  And with that, I went upstairs and to bed.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    No matter how many times Noah told himself he wasn¡¯t jealous, he couldn¡¯t believe it. He was jealous and was upset with himself for feeling that way.


    It had been easier to ignore when they were outside together and when he was doing research in the library. Trying to make that darn book give up its secrets was a good distraction. However, it was completely impossible to ignore when he was in a room with them together. He was able to touch her, dance with her. Noah wanted to be able to dance with her.


    When he heard Aurora say that she wished that she had people that she could trust to dance with, he made a vow to himself that he was going to dance with her. He would learn whatever dance she wanted him to. He wasn¡¯t just a cinnamon roll, he was dancing cinnamon roll!


    She looked so free when she was dancing, and that was something that Noah longed to experience. He was never able to be as free with his energy or movement as he wanted to be. He was a ghost now though, so he didn¡¯t have to think or worry about his undeveloped lungs.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sickly anymore. I will learn to do all of things I couldn¡¯t before! Once I gain physical form that is...¡± Noah says and runs his fingers through his hair.


    ¡°That¡¯s it. I¡¯m going to work on making it happen, all night if need be!¡±

 Chapter 34: Scars and Teeth

    I lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, feeling a bit afraid to close my eyes. Had I come here to escape my demons or find some new one. I was unsure which, I couldn¡¯t guess at the intent of this cabin and that scared me a little. I reflect back on all the memories that had been dragged up in me since coming here.


    ¡°At least I haven¡¯t encountered anything like I did in the bath again, right Bastet?¡± I ask and reach down to pet her. She hops up onto the bed and curls up to me, purring. Is there any worry that a cat¡¯s purr couldn¡¯t help reduce?


    ¡°No reason to think that. It¡¯s sleep time. I keep you safe.¡± Bastet says. Such a good girl.


    ¡°Me protect too!¡± Anubis said.


    I was curious about why their level of speech was as different as it was, but I felt that it would be rude to ask. And I did not enjoy being rude.


    ¡°Today was a good day, yes? So no worry, think of happy things.¡± Bastet says.


    Laying down I try to do as Bastet recommends, closing my eyes and trying to think of happy things. It was harder than I thought. Had it always been this hard to think happy thoughts? I will never be able to fly like this. Haha¡­ Ha.


    It was fun dancing with Luke. That was a happy thought. My walks and talks with both boys were fun. Those are happy thoughts. When Luke caught me and didn¡¯t try to feel me up? Definitely a happy thought.


    How long had it been since she had been handled and touched so respectfully? When did it become the expectation to be touched badly? Had perhaps my expectations fallen too low?


    I dig my nails lightly into my hand, giving me a shock to my senses. I was trying to focus on good things¡­  Warm days, soft cats, freshly fallen snow, fun conversations. Feeling calm I slip into dreams.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    ¡°You look beautiful honey.¡± Mom says and gives me a hug.


    ¡°You¡¯ll do great.¡± Dad says.


    It was before my first dance competition in this state. I had been working really hard and me and my partner meshed really well. We had a really fun concept too.


    We had mixed a few songs together to make a compilation of a few different genres. We had the stage set up to be a TV, and we had the dance teacher, that helped us create the choreography, holding a remote and when she clicks it the music changes. It was like she was changing the channel. We even had layered outfits that could come undone during the dance, changing them to fit the theme.


    I walk out on the stage and up to my partner. He gave me one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen. I had a bit of a crush on him, possibly just because of that bright smile.


    ¡°Ready?¡± he whispers to me.


    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    ¡°Always¡± I say. I reach my hands out to him and we get into position.


    ¡°Good, I¡¯m going to borrow some of your confidence.¡±


    The music starts. It was an upbeat jive, and I had a poodle skirt on. It was fast and fun! We do I trick and he grabs the skirt during a flip so I land in my next outfit.


    It was a knee length schoolgirl skirt, and we danced a modern style dance. We hopped up on desks that had been on the stage, lighting going over to them. We created this part all on our own. We spin and boom, last outfit change. I was in a short red dress, and we danced a fast tango.


    We end to cheers. It was the best feeling in the world. Some people threw flowers at us. My dance partner got so excited that he picks me up and spins me around as we both laugh. I am so happy.


    Darkness <No, this will not do.>


    Darkness spreads. It grows, covering everything with an oppressive weight. I feels as though I am seeing teeth, fangs, eyes. But how can I see anything in all of this darkness? Do I just know that it is there, that it is out there, still looking at me¡­ I feel my blood turn to ice again, my thoughts going sluggish, my body falling through the bed.


    I fall into an enclosed space, and it feels remarkably like a bathtub. My thoughts feel a little freer than they had that time, I don¡¯t know if that is good. I look around a bit and wish that I hadn¡¯t. Had I died? Was I in hell?


    Instead of something covered in eyes I see a writhing mass of black and red, covered in mouths. It wraps tentacles over me, slithering all over and connecting with scar tissue. Everywhere I had scars on my body those mouths bite down. I want to scream but only smoke seeps out.


    I try harder to scream and fight, the teeth tear into me deeper, and I am turned over and staring at a growing puddle of blood¡­ My blood. I don¡¯t know how I know that is what it is as it looks like bubbling tar, but I know. I get thrown down into it, and it is boiling hot, I feel the searing pain for a moment but then everything instantly freezes. I feel as though my entire being shatters along the seams of my scars. This is never ending, I am going to fade away and become part of the heat, ice and smoke.


    I feel myself slipping moment by moment. Like holding onto a ledge, dangling above the abyss, I feel my grasp start to weaken. Should I just let go, would that be easier, would it be better?


    Darkness


    I¡¯m laying in a hospital bed, feeling at peace. I had made up my mind. I felt bad that I was going to use the girl in the bed next to me, but I knew that was the only way. I wish it wasn¡¯t though. She was sweet, and although she was sad she was also witty and charming. I loved the week that we had spent together just conversing.


    We had talked about everything that popped into our heads, movies, music, books, games, and whatever else came up. We watched the same shows on the TV and talked about it. Really there wasn¡¯t much else to do in the hospital.


    I came up with this idea when I heard her monitors freak out a few times. It seems that she was sick, some sort of infection? Her arms or her lungs? I wasn¡¯t sure, and I tried not to listen when the doctors and nurses were talking about it. I know she tried to do the same for me because I heard her softly singing when they were on my side.


    I was going to wait until her monitors went off again. I suppose it was a game I was playing with myself. If her monitors went off again then I would carry out my plan. If they didn¡¯t, then I wouldn¡¯t. It was simple.


    I had first come up with the idea when the nurses asked if I minded sharing my room. I was surprised. I don¡¯t think that they had ever put another person in the room next to me. She had been in critical condition, mentally as well as physically and they thought that she could use someone to talk to. Either that, or it was a good excuse¡­ I¡¯m pulled out of my thoughts when I hear it. The monitors.


    I climb out of bed and go over to my own machines. I reach out and pull the plug.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    I wake up, which is a strange thing for a ghost to do, but I still did it. I could tell that Aurora was in danger, but what was I supposed to do, what could I do?


    Two yellow orbs stare at me from the other side of the room. ¡°Will you give it up?¡±


    ¡°What? Give what up? What am I supposed to do?¡±


    ¡°Give the memory. Give the secret, the lie. Give!¡±


    Noah hesitated for a moment, he wasn¡¯t sure why. It wasn¡¯t a precious memory, if anything he hated it. Wouldn¡¯t it be good to give it up? But, would she know, what would she think?


    ¡°She is falling into darkness, back into her death.¡±


    ¡°Okay, okay, I¡¯ll do it!¡± Noah wasn¡¯t confident, but he wanted to help Aurora, she deserved someone to help her.


    A glimmer went through the eyes, and Noah fell back into his not sleep once more. This time though there is an audible sound as his head hit the pillow.


    ¡°And thus the first one starts to grow.¡±

 Chapter 35: Im a Real Boy

    I wake up, tears streaming down my face. What was that. What in the world was that. That hell scape! And that memory, I¡¯m pretty sure it wasn¡¯t mine.


    I don¡¯t understand how, but I had been in someone else¡¯s memory. The memory of the boy that had been across the way from me. We had talked, that entire week. Any we were both conscious we would talk. For hours. It had been the first genuine conversations that I had had in¡­ Years? Was it years? Nope, it really was years. I didn¡¯t feel like tracking back to see how many years. It was just too painful.


    Why had he done it? I wish that I could have asked him. I would give almost anything to be able to ask him that. Why? Why had he pulled his own plug. I would have shouted to him, told him not to do it, that it wasn¡¯t worth it. But honestly, who was I to say that to anyone. What gave me the right? I had no right to say anything to anyone on the topic of pulling their own plug, or¡­


    I get out of bed and start getting dressed for the day. The memory had made my throat hurt. I feel my hand go to my throat then let it fall to my side. That memory was one that I had been trying to suppress. That event led to me getting more psychiatric tests, tests that I didn¡¯t want to do. That was nothing though, nothing compared to the loss that I felt after the plug was pulled.


    I go into the bathroom and splash water on my face a few times. Better. I brush my teeth, comb my hair and make my way down the stairs. I felt a little more tired than I had been recently. I think about seeing if there is anything around here that had caffeine but veto the idea. Caffeine can cause med reactions, and that¡¯s just what I need. I roll my eyes and make my way into the kitchen.


    ¡°Hey Luke, something smells really good.¡±


    ¡°Glad you think so. I am making pancakes. Bacon pancakes! Making pancakes with the bacon.¡± Luke sings the last part while cooking.


    ¡°I love pancakes especially banana pancakes.¡±


    ¡°Only abominations don¡¯t like pancakes, however I must disagree. Bacon pancakes are the superior choice of breakfast cakes made with a pan.¡±


    ¡°Umm¡­ I guess¡­¡± A voice that was too quiet came from behind me.


    ¡°One of my favorite songs is all about banana pancakes, anyway I like sweet in the morning not salty sweet.¡±


    ¡°Hey Aurora did you have a friend over last night?¡± Luke asks


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t have friends, aside from you, Noah and the cats. Why would you ask such a strange question pancake man?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s probably, because, umm¡­¡± the voice gets slightly louder but still wasn¡¯t quite audible.


    ¡°No reason really, I suppose. I just thought Aurora had a friend over, or perhaps we have a very shy and awkward burglar behind you.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I quickly spin around hair smacking my face, momentarily blocking most of my vision, I only see a pair of legs. ¡°Who are you?!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m¡± the pair of legs stutters.


    ¡°Noah? I can see you! HOLY CATS I CAN SEE YOU!!!¡±


    ¡°I guess ghosts aren¡¯t abominations, because I like pancakes too¡­¡± I hear Noah say, slowly getting louder.


    I meet his eyes. They were hazel, a gorgeous mix of honey brown and emerald green. His hair was blond, and appeared to be longer in the front, and a bit shorter in the back? I wasn¡¯t sure and felt that flat out staring at him would be rude.


    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    As our eyes meet he flashed me a bright smile, and immediately starts to blush. That was odd. Is he just a really shy person, and making eye contact with someone feels embarrassing? If that¡¯s the case I understand, and I will be respectful. I suppose breaking eye contact would be for the best.


    ¡°Umm, good morning? How are you, you know with being visible and all?¡± I wanted to ask if they were alive now, but that would be too strange. That is not the kind of thing that most people talk about in every day conversation, even if you are a ghost.


    ¡°Good morning, and, come on Noah you rehearsed this. And I can see clearly now¡­ since I¡¯m visible¡­ crap that doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡± He says


    ¡°How did you manage to become visible. Is it permanent? Can only I see you? Hey Luke can you see him, oh wait no you already said you can see him.¡±


    ¡°I found a book and it had some recommendation, or guidelines. Not exactly sure which. I followed them and this was the outcome. Also, I think that its permanent? I wouldn¡¯t really know though I¡¯m kinda new to this being a ghost thing. I think that the owner of the cabin was able to see me at some point in time? Maybe I am secretly a wizard. A dead wizard, but a wizard all the same.¡±


    How does he do that? Talk so much, and so quickly, without taking a breath. That was real magic, although not that useful? Useful for rappers, but I don¡¯t think Noah raps. I would be disturbed if he rapped. Noah, please never rap.


    ¡°Oh, there she goes, into her head again. Don¡¯t worry just give her a few seconds.¡± Luke says before returning to the pancakes.


    He sounded pretty confused. I guess this all makes as much sense to him as it does to me. Which is none. This made no sense! None of this made any sense!


    ¡°Do you think that you can eat?¡± Luke asks. ¡°I made enough food for three.¡±


    I stare at the stack of food. That was enough for three? No, that was enough for five. How much did he eat? I looked him over again. Nope, not fat, not chubby. Actually, it looked like he worked out. Did he work out? He must work out. While I was going through that mental gymnastics I see them both looking at me. Who said what now? I feel that I must have missed someone saying something.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, what were you saying?¡±


    ¡°I was asking what you were going to do after eating. I was thinking about going for a run.¡± Luke said.


    ¡°Nope, no, no thank you, I¡¯m good, not a runner, I use different muscles. I can see how you could confuse running with dancing, but not at all the same.¡± I respond. ¡°Video games. I am going to play video games.¡±


    ¡°Me too. That. I am going to play video games as well.¡± Noah quickly chimes in.


    Was he¡­ Was he competing with Luke for my attention? That couldn¡¯t be right. I shake my head, Silly self.


    After shaking myself back to reality I look over to Noah. ¡°Do you want to play together


    then?¡±


    ¡°Yes please!¡± he responds.


    ¡°Okay great! Do you want to play in the living room or in the library?¡±


    ¡°I would really prefer to play in the library, if that is okay with you.¡±


    I nod, ¡°That sounds good to me. I like how cozy the library is. It has a very comforting


    feeling to it.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think we will be too close playing on the library television?¡±


    ¡°Not at all. Now then I am going to eat some of this delicious looking food before it all


    goes cold.¡± I say, and slide into a seat at the table, and fill up a plate of food.


    I see Noah reach for something to eat, freeze, and retract his hand. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can


    eat yet. I think I will be able to when I feel hungry.¡±


    ¡°I guess that makes sense?¡± Luke questions ¡°and all the more for me!¡±


    ¡°None of this makes any sense. I have given up on expecting it to make any sense at


    all.¡± I state and start eating.


    I knew that I could beat up my mind trying to figure out how all of the ghosts and magic in the cabin worked, or I could just be happy that it did work. I enjoyed the idea of magic and mysteries, and I didn¡¯t want to solve them. I am sure most others would be driven mad by not being able to solve the mysteries.


    ¡°Even if you can¡¯t eat, it¡¯s nice having you sitting with us.¡± I say.


    ¡°It¡¯s nice to know she hasn¡¯t just been talking to the air.¡± Luke says, eyes so bright they almost seem to be glowing. ¡°So, what is it like to be able to have a physical form, even though you are a ghost? Did you construct it to look like you? How you wanted to look? How you remember yourself looking? And what is made of?¡±


    ¡°It just looks like me. I didn¡¯t design the way I look.¡± Noah says, sounding a little confused.


    ¡°Did you think about wanting to change the way you look?¡± Luke asks.


    ¡°No.¡± Noah responds.


    ¡°And you think that you will eventually be able to eat?¡± Luke asks.


    ¡°I think that having solid form means burning energy, and burning energy means that I


    will need to eat, or poof, back to being a ghost. I think. I don¡¯t know. What¡¯s with all the hard


    questions?¡±


    ¡°You are fascinating.¡± Luke says, staring.


    ¡°Luke, eat your food and leave Noah alone. I thought that you said you wanted to go for


    a run?¡±

 Chapter 36: A Cinnamonroll at Prom

    Breakfast passes quickly, as we continue to banter and bicker in a lively way. I wonder if this is what family feels like for some? I don¡¯t know. I hope that if I have my own family some day there is a lot of light and laughter with them.


    I gather up the dishes and bring them to the sink. ¡°You cooked, cleaning is the least I can do. Noah, you can go to the library and pick out some games for us to play.¡± I tell him.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Noah says, and sound like he is almost sulking.


    That was odd. I look at him to try to find out why. He catches my eyes and lets out a small sigh.


    ¡°I want to help you with the dishes, but I don¡¯t know if I can hold them. So, it is probably best I don¡¯t help, but it won¡¯t take a lot of effort for me to be able to play video games. I have gotten a lot of practice in, or you could play and I can comment.¡±


    ¡°You have practiced?¡±


    ¡°Tasks seem to take a different amount of¡­ Energy I guess? Well ones that I do often become easier and easier. I was playing video games even without having a form because I did it so often, same with reading.¡±


    ¡°That makes absolutely no sense. Noah, you make no sense.¡± I say, gesturing to him.


    ¡°You just gestured to all of me. Why did you just gesture to all of me.¡±


    ¡°Because. Because! Ghosts? Okay, I came around to the idea of ghosts. And now you are telling me that because you willed it you were able to play video games, without form.¡±


    ¡°I got lonely.¡± He said and looked at his feet.


    Oh my poor, sweet cinnamon-roll. I badly want to hug him. Would I be able to hug him? I need to be able to hug him! Right? Right, definitely right. We need to be able to have some sort of physical contact for the scenes that we planned to re-enact right? On that note, we definitely need to talk about that. Are we still doing it? What are the do not cross boundaries?


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that you felt lonely. You don¡¯t have to feel that way anymore now, so that is good, right?¡±


    ¡°Right! So¡­ So you should hurry up with the dishes so we can play games together. I like the thought of having a player 2.¡± I see a blush creeping into his cheeks at the comment.


    How adorable.


    ¡°I¡¯ll hurry. How about you go on upstairs and get things set up and I will join you as soon as I am done?¡± I ask him. I thought it sounded like a good idea.


    ¡°Sounds like a plan.¡± He says and heads upstairs, while I finish off the dishes.


    *********************************************************************************************************


    Noah heads upstairs and feels his cheeks burning more with each step. ¡°I like the thought of a player 2?¡± he mumbles to himself, and then puts a hand over his mouth.


    He had to be careful not to say things out loud to himself anymore, people could hear him after all. ¡®Why don¡¯t I just say, I like the thought of you being my player 2 Aurora. You are so pretty, and kind and¡­ You are the person who has been the nicest to me without actually having to be.


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Imagine that, someone being nice to me because they want to and not out obligation or because it is their job. What a novel concept. Now, now I am just being pessimistic. Just because I am a ghost and she is a human doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t think nice things about her. And who knows, I am able to touch some objects, maybe eventually it will be like I am not dead at all¡­ Ha¡­ Ha¡­¡¯


    Noah can¡¯t help but feel embarrassed about his thoughts, and he was really glad that there was no one there to see or hear his how embarrassed he was.


    When he gets to the library, he sits on the floor in front of the game console and pulls out all of his games and stares at them. Most of them were single player games, typically visual novels. He stacked those up and put them off to the side.


    Those would not be something that they played together, although it might be worth leaving them out to brainstorm dates. Dates! Even if it was pretend, he would be going on dates with a girl. Noah tried not to think about the only time he asked someone out but couldn¡¯t help it.


    Noah had struck up conversations with her many times before and had her laughing a lot. Every time he was in class, she made sure to sit next to him and share her notes with him. If Noah wasn¡¯t mistaken that was a definite flag! He had been thinking this for a while now and prom was coming up.


    Prom. Pretty girls in pretty dresses wanting people to dance with them. It was a very romantic place, or so games and shows and told him. He wouldn¡¯t know, he had actually never been to a school dance. His health had been very good recently and his parents had agreed to let him go, they just had to notify the chaperones about his medical condition so that they could keep an eye on him. He had readily agreed. He wanted to try to experience some normal teenager type things.


    Normal things. Dates are normal. Yup, they are totally one hundred percent normal. And he knew how to go about doing this, didn¡¯t he? The many games with a one hundred percent completion rate attested to this. How should he go about it though? Had she dropped anything?


    No, no and that was too clich¨¦, the hands touching as you both lean over to pick up the dropped item. Although he loved the cliches in games, he thought that it very well might not translate well over to real life. Okay, so not that. He was also not the kind of guy to kabedon someone. Nope, not him. He was not a tough guy character.


    That got him thinking. What kind of guy was he? If he knew his character type it would make approaching girls and asking them out much easier. Well he wasn¡¯t a tough guy type, he wasn¡¯t the flirtatious player (which was unfortunate because that seemed to be a lot of girls favorite type), he wasn¡¯t a jock, he wasn¡¯t the best friend turned lover, or enemy turned lover, or the little or older brother type.


    So that left¡­ Was Noah the mysterious type? That didn¡¯t seem right, but it could work. People really didn¡¯t know him because he was gone so often. The mysterious classmate who was often out sick, that was totally a type, could he lean into that?


    Or¡­ Well¡­ Maybe he was overthinking it. But only a little of course. He should do it. He should just ask her. So he would. Yup, this was Noah just asking her. The words dried up in his mouth. He couldn¡¯t do this, no, he had to. She had raised flags right? Right! On a piece of paper he wrote, ¡°Are you going to prom?¡± and slid it next to her. She seemed aware enough of Noah to notice right away.


    She leaned over and wrote back, ¡°Yes. Are you?¡±


    She smelled of vanilla. It was almost overpowering but wasn¡¯t somehow.


    ¡°I was thinking about it but thought that it would be more fun to go with someone¡­¡± he wrote back. He sat for one minute, two, then five.


    ¡°Were you planning on asking someone?¡± she wrote back.


    ¡°Yes. Y¡± was all Noah got down onto the paper before the teacher walked by and grabbed it. Oh no, oh please no Noah thought. This was the teacher that read every note that she caught out loud.


    And she did. Noah wanted to melt into oblivion. ¡°So, will you go with him?¡± the teacher ended up saying, as though he planned this, or she thought that he was so pitiful that she wanted to play wingman.


    The girl turned pink, then red, then slid down in her seat like she was trying to hide. Oh no, had Noah misread the situation? He had, hadn¡¯t he.


    ¡°Yes.¡± The girl said in little more than a squeak.


    ¡°Yes? Wait, yes?¡± Noah turned to her and smiled brightly and almost jumped out of her chair and screamed ¡®she said yes¡¯ but decided that wasn¡¯t appropriate.


    Noah shakes himself out of if it. This would have been a good memory if he hadn¡¯t ended up back in the hospital. Oh, he had made it to prom, and they had a great time doing pictures, and he gave her flowers. She had looked beautiful. They got to dance together some too. But then a few people from his class had pulled him up and tried to get him up and dancing a lot more.


    He knew he couldn¡¯t but didn¡¯t want to disappoint his date. This was a mistake. He ended up collapsing on the floor and EMS had to be called. He tried to call his date after, but it wasn¡¯t the same. Soon enough she stopped answering his calls, but he couldn¡¯t blame her. His parents had pulled him out of public school after all.


    But now? Now Noah didn¡¯t have that problem. Now Noah could dance with Aurora and not have to risk his health. And he liked that thought. When he was up and dancing it was really fun. But that wasn¡¯t even really dancing. What Aurora did was¡­ She looked so¡­


    Noah pulled his thoughts away. She would look so happy that he had picked out a game for them to play together, that¡¯s how she would look. Yup, that was what he was thinking about. That and nothing else. He pulled a game out and nodded. That would do. Mephistopheles III. They could bond over killing some demons.