ã€ŠIn the Shadow of Heavenã€‹


 Parent-Teacher Conferences

    Parent-Teacher Conferences

    Yan jammed her hands in the pockets of her long cassock as she stared dolefully out the huge window in the viewing area of the airport. The tiny shuttle from the Iron Dreams made a wobbly landing and taxied away towards the storage area. Her best friend Sylva gently elbowed her side.

    ¡°It¡¯s like you¡¯re not excited to see your family, or something,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I think they¡¯re nice people.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just awkward,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s not like anybody else¡¯s family is here.¡± Most students¡¯ families did not have the travel authorization or money to take interplanetary trips, even for such an occasion as graduation.

    Sylva grinned broadly. She was a native of Emerri, the capital planet, so her family could have made the trip by airplane. ¡°I told mine that they weren¡¯t allowed to come to the ceremony.¡±

    ¡°That might actually be true,¡± Yan said. After all, it wasn¡¯t like Academy students were given tickets to hand out for graduation¡ª it was an intensely private affair. Yan figured that her family wasn¡¯t going to stay for long; they had business to attend to, and graduation itself was still a while away, after apprenticeship interviews. The thought of those upcoming interviews churned Yan¡¯s stomach.

    ¡°Spacers get to break all the rules,¡± Sylva said with another smile. ¡°Come on, we¡¯d better go meet them.¡±

    Sylva bounded away deeper into the airport, and Yan had to walk uncomfortably quickly to catch up with her, even on her much longer legs. Sylva was short and chubby, with auburn hair braided in an elaborate crown around her head, and a fierce scattering of freckles across her round face.

    Yan was the opposite to Sylva in every way possible. As a spacer, she had grown up with low and constantly fluctuating gravity, which had stretched her out to over two meters in height. She had brown skin and was gangly and slim, moving with an awkwardness that made her look perpetually out of place. Her thick and curly black hair was cut very close to her head. Above her low cheekbones were wide set brown eyes, always flicking around with a tight, observational nervousness.

    The only thing that marked the two young women as peers were the black, ankle length cassocks that they both wore, and the shiny lapel pin that labeled them as seniors at the Academy, about to complete their tenth year. They were both twenty, and they had been best friends since their first days at the Academy, when they had been assigned beds next to each other in the first- year dorms. Yan had stood head and shoulders above the rest of the new students and didn¡¯t speak the Academy¡¯s language of New Imperial. But she had somehow been adopted by the exuberant Sylva, who had taken one look at the weird girl who collected ugly rocks and plants from the ground and decided that they were going to get along.

    The guest waiting area in this section of the airport was empty. No big flights had come in and deposited their passengers in at least twenty minutes, so when Yan¡¯s uncle and cousin stepped in through the doors, they had relative privacy to meet with Yan and Sylva. Yan smiled with a mixture of relief (that more of her family hadn¡¯t crammed themselves into the shuttle to come down) and awkwardness (that it was these two family members in particular who had come to see her).

    Before Yan could even say anything in greeting, her uncle Maxes had swept her up in a crushing hug. He was even taller than she was, and his long, braided hair full of colorful beads rattled in her ears. ¡°I¡¯ve missed you,¡± he said, giving her a squeeze, then releasing her.

    ¡°It¡¯s good to see you,¡± she said, stiff and hesitant. She always felt the relationship between herself and her uncle had been filled with a tension she could never articulate. He wanted her to be the best of the family; she just wanted to be part of the family.

    Sylva was shaking hands with Yan¡¯s cousin, Captain Pellon, when Yan was finally able to turn to look at them. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you again, Captain BarCarran,¡± Sylva said.

    ¡°Please, just Pellon. I think I already told you that,¡± he said with a smile. Pellon looked similar to Maxes in terms of facial structure, but he kept his head shaved and wore a neatly trimmed black beard instead. He was old enough that little peppers of white showed in it, and wrinkles bloomed from the corners of his eyes. He usually wore glasses, but wasn¡¯t wearing them now.

    ¡°You did tell me that; I¡¯m just used to calling all the masters by their last names,¡± Sylva said with a laugh.

    Pellon turned to Yan, whose back unconsciously straightened as she addressed her captain. There was a certain aura of authority that he had, something Yan felt strongly, as she had grown up with his word being the just and absolute law aboard their ship. ¡°How have you been, Yan?¡± he asked, his voice gentle.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been well, thank you,¡± she said, though she felt like she was tripping over the words. She needed to smile pleasantly, seem genuine.

    ¡°School going alright?¡± he asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s done,¡± she said. ¡°It would have been awkward if you came while I was still taking finals and making my final project.¡±

    ¡°Do you have your grades?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I did fine,¡± Yan said. She ran her hand over the back of her neck and looked away. Sylva was staring out the window, not wanting to interrupt the family conversation, but she was certainly listening in.

    Pellon smiled, taking that as the deflection from bragging that it was. ¡°That¡¯s good to hear.¡±

    ¡°Are you staying on Emerri for long?¡±

    Pellon sighed. ¡°Just for a couple days. We wanted to see you, obviously, but there¡¯s business that needs attending to.¡± The fact that he didn¡¯t say anything else told Yan that he had no further interest in discussing it, so, although she was curious, she didn¡¯t press the matter.

    ¡°Should we take this out of the airport?¡± Maxes asked.

    ¡°Sure, follow me,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I borrowed an Academy car.¡±

    Maxes and Pellon glanced at each other, then followed Sylva to the car, with Yan walking at Maxes¡¯s side.

    Sylva pulled them out of the airport lot, careful but a little too quick of a driver. The warm late-spring sunset lit the interior of the car in an orange glow.

    ¡°Where are you taking us, Ms. Calor?¡± Pellon asked Sylva, slightly uncomfortable in the back seat. He was not used to being a passenger, let alone a passenger in a ground car.

    ¡°Did you want to go to dinner, or your hotel, or¡­?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a restaurant at the Academy, isn¡¯t there?¡± Maxes asked. Yan nodded. ¡°Let¡¯s go there.¡±

    Sylva turned the car sharply, and then they were off through Yora streets. Sylva wasn¡¯t taking the most direct route, which annoyed Yan a little, but her family didn¡¯t seem to notice, so Yan didn¡¯t bring it up. If Sylva wanted to take them on a sightseeing tour of the Empire¡¯s capitol building, it was probably fine.

    ¡°There¡¯s Stonecourt,¡± Sylva said as they drove in a wide perimeter past the massive complex that housed most of the government.

    ¡°You ever been inside?¡± Maxes asked, staring out the window at the manicured lawn that sloped gently up towards the imposing building, just now starting to be lit up for the night.

    ¡°We took a tour in our fifth year,¡± Yan said. ¡°Field trip.¡± She had vague memories of the trip, but old buildings, stone corridors, and tour guides all tended to blend into a vague mash after a while, and there hadn¡¯t been anything that thrilling inside.

    ¡°Are we going to drive past where you¡¯ll be working?¡± Maxes asked.

    ¡°If I get xenobio, I might be in the colonization office,¡± Yan said. ¡°But that¡¯s¡­¡± She wracked her brain for its location, picturing the building in her head. ¡°A few kilos south of here.¡±

    ¡°And you, Ms. Calor?¡± Pellon asked.

    ¡°I have no idea what I¡¯m going to be doing. But probably not anything that high profile, so probably not here in Imperial Center.¡±

    ¡°Sylva has the soul of a poet, not a politician,¡± Yan said jokingly. Sylva probably would have elbowed her, had she not been driving.

    ¡°The universe needs all sorts,¡± Maxes said.

    Sylva was heading toward the Academy now, and they had begun the long drive up the steep hill on which it sat. Even more than Stonecourt, the Academy was an imposing presence. It could be seen from basically anywhere, if you had an unobstructed view past the buildings. Its temple looked down over the city, the giant stained glass lit like a watchful eye.

    Sylva pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant on the Academy grounds. Yan had only ever been there before on rare occasions¡ª it wasn¡¯t anything like the dining halls that students frequented. The Starlight was a fancy place, meant mostly for the higher-ups at the Academy to entertain alumni and other important guests. The parking lot had a moderate number of cars in it, and Yan wondered if they would even be able to get a seat. Still, they all got out and went up to the front door. Although she was wearing her nicest school uniform, Yan still felt underdressed.

    She was right to be worried, because as they walked inside the dim restaurant, Maxes asked at the desk about getting a table, and they were met with the confounding question, ¡°Do you have a ticket?¡±

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    Maxes glanced back at Pellon and Yan, as if either of them had the answer. ¡°There must be some kind of event going on,¡± Yan said, peering into the swanky restaurant. The place was filled with people in the bar area, most of them wearing cassocks. Yan recognized a couple of the masters that she had had over the years. Perhaps it was an end of the year celebration for the Academy staff. ¡°We¡¯ll just have to go somewhere else,¡± Yan said with a shrug, trying to defuse the awkwardness of picking the wrong venue.

    At that moment, the door opened behind the group. Yan turned half on instinct, and came face to face with her own mentor, Master Farber, walking side by side with the head of the Academy, Master Windreshon. Farber smiled widely. ¡°Yan, good to see you! What are you doing here?¡±

    Windreshon looked between the two of them, gave a tight smile to Yan and Sylva, then walked into the restaurant, past the desk, leaving Yan to make the awkward introductions to her family.

    ¡°Uh, hi Master Farber,¡± Yan said. ¡°My family are here for a visit. This is my uncle, Maxes BarCarran, and my cousin, Captain Pellon BarCarran. Um, Maxes, Captain Pellon, this is my mentor, Master Farber.¡± Sylva knew who Farber was, having had him for class, so she just waved hello.

    ¡°Pleasure to meet you,¡± Pellon said, taking stock of the situation and shaking Farber¡¯s hand. ¡°I¡¯ve heard a lot about you from Yan.¡±

    ¡°Only good things, I hope.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Maxes said, also shaking Farber¡¯s hand. ¡°And I hope our little wandering spacer child hasn¡¯t caused too much trouble on your planet.¡±

    Farber laughed. ¡°Of course not. The Academy¡¯s no stranger to spacers, after all. There seem to be rather more of them with the power than normal probability would suggest.¡± He winked at Yan, who resisted the urge to cringe. ¡°Yan has been a joy to have as a student. It¡¯ll be a shame when she graduates, but¡­¡± He smiled a wide smile and said nothing more on the subject. ¡°Has your family seen your final project yet?¡±

    ¡°No, I put it in the hall this morning,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Excellent, excellent,¡± Farber said. ¡°If you get a chance to stop by during visiting hours, you should,¡± he said to Maxes and Pellon. ¡°It¡¯s quite an impressive feat. Beautiful work.¡±

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure she would go that far. Her project probably looked quite unimpressive compared to a lot of the others, if one didn¡¯t know how it was made. Her face was burning with the compliments, but she couldn¡¯t escape the conversation or the scrutiny that came with it.

    ¡°If we get a chance, we¡¯ll be certain to stop by,¡± Pellon said. ¡°But for now, I suppose we shall have to find a different venue for dinner, if this one is booked up.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Farber exclaimed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that, there¡¯s plenty of room.¡± He turned to the man at the desk. ¡°Can you get them a table? I promise they won¡¯t cause any trouble.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to impose,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±

    ¡°No, no,¡± Farber said. ¡°The only reason they¡¯re not letting the public in right now is that there¡¯s about a ten percent chance that a VIP shows up, and they don¡¯t want a scene. But you¡¯re not public; you¡¯re my student. And my student¡¯s family, and friend, of course.¡±

    The man at the desk acquiesced and gathered menus. ¡°VIP?¡± Pellon asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m certain he won¡¯t show, so no point in getting your hopes up. Well, I have to go be social,¡± Farber said with a smile. ¡°Enjoy your dinner, and it was a pleasure to meet Yan¡¯s esteemed family.¡±

    ¡°The pleasure is mine, I¡¯m sure,¡± Pellon said. ¡°Thank you for teaching her well.¡±

    Farber flitted off to join the crowd of other masters; some waved at Yan when he pointed her out to them. Yan smiled and waved back, feeling like a bug in a jar. But they forgot about her soon enough, and their party was sat at a back table, away from the general hubbub of Academy bigwigs. Yan couldn¡¯t say that she minded.

    ¡°You¡¯re popular around here, that you can pull favors like that,¡± Maxes said with a smile after they had been seated. Yan shrugged. Sure, the masters liked her, but Farber probably would have done the same for most of his other mentees.

    ¡°Do you have any photos of this project he mentioned?¡± Pellon asked. He was always curious about the particulars of Yan¡¯s schooling. ¡°I don¡¯t know if we¡¯re going to have a chance to stop by later, so you might as well show us now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I want to see it too!¡± Sylva leaned hard on Yan¡¯s shoulder as she pulled out her phone to find the picture that she wanted to display.

    ¡°You haven¡¯t already seen it?¡± Maxes asked.

    ¡°They¡¯re supposed to be kept secret from everyone except your mentor until the actual day of the exhibition,¡± Yan said. ¡°To stop cheating, I guess.¡± The final projects were meant to be representative of each student as a power user, containing a kind of divine spark of their essence, which could be contaminated if too much influence from another person went into the work. She found the photo, really a couple seconds of moving image, and laid her phone on the table for everyone to see.

    The image was unremarkable¡ªit showed a spherical, enclosed fishbowl, really a complete sphere, with a small goldfish swimming and darting around through some aquatic plants. When Yan¡¯s finger entered the frame and pressed on the side of the glass, the fish shied away from it. Then the clip repeated.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t look like much,¡± Yan said, rather apologetically. She knew her family wouldn¡¯t think it was that impressive. ¡°Sorry for not being more exciting.¡±

    ¡°Sylva seems to think otherwise,¡± Pellon said, nodding at Sylva, who was watching the fish flit about with wide eyes.

    ¡°You made that?¡± Sylva asked. ¡°You¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not alive alive,¡± Yan hastily clarified, not wanting Sylva to think that she had broken one of the most fundamental laws that governed the use of the sacred power. Life couldn¡¯t be created, no matter how much one tried. ¡°It¡¯s just an, uh, automaton. I modeled all the chemical processes, and stuff. It¡¯s pretty accurate.¡±

    Maxes smiled, suddenly understanding. ¡°Angling right for that xenobio slot, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said, relieved that he understood. ¡°Exactly. I hope they¡¯ll notice and like it. I mean, otherwise it¡¯s kinda a joke.¡±

    Sylva shook her head. ¡°That¡¯s crazy, Yan. Beautiful.¡± There was real appreciation in her voice, and she leaned back in her seat as Yan slipped her phone back into her pocket. Pellon and Maxes glanced at each other, some unspoken communication passing between the captain and one of the senior members of his crew that Yan couldn¡¯t understand.

    ¡°Are you coming aboard the Dreams this summer?¡± Pellon asked. ¡°I¡¯d be happy to have either or both of you.¡±

    Yan shrugged, twisted the napkin laid out in front of her. ¡°It depends on what apprenticeship I get. If I have to spend the summer finding a house¡­¡± That was what the last summer break between graduation and apprenticeships was really for. Many Academy graduates had to move far and wide, and that required a certain amount of time to find accommodation.

    ¡°It¡¯s likely that you¡¯ll both end up right here in Yora, though, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°It really just depends,¡± she said again. ¡°There¡¯s no guarantees. Even if I get xenobio, I might get shipped off to a colony somewhere.¡±

    ¡°I hope we¡¯re both in Yora together. Then we can split an apartment. Save on rent,¡± Sylva said with a grin and a nudge.

    This was actually pretty comforting to Yan, and she smiled. ¡°Yeah, I hope so.¡±

    Again, there was that glance between Pellon and Maxes. ¡°Well, let me know,¡± Pellon said. ¡°I¡¯m happy to give you both letters of transit if you don¡¯t need to spend time househunting.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for the offer,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I¡¯ll definitely let you know. Well, through Yan, since I don¡¯t have an ansible card.¡±

    Pellon laughed and nodded. From there, the conversation moved on to quotidian things, like how the rest of Yan¡¯s family was doing. They ordered their food and received it. It was good, which was expected, given the price. Yan¡¯s family had plenty of money, but that didn¡¯t mean she didn¡¯t balk at things that seemed a little too luxurious.

    While they were eating, Pellon suddenly stiffened and looked out across the room toward the door. Yan and Maxes, attentive to his movements in the subtle way that crew were toward their leader, turned to look.

    ¡°The VIP did decide to arrive, I see,¡± Maxes said, voice quite low.

    Walking in the door, flanked by an entourage of dark suited men, was First Sandreas, the leader of the Empire. He was wearing a cassock much like Yan¡¯s, the classic uniform of anyone with the power, but it was accompanied by a long, blood red cape draped off his shoulders. Behind him was the largest man Yan had ever seen, taller than any spacer she had ever met, even. Sandreas said a few words to the large man, indistinguishable through the noise of the restaurant and over the distance, then smiled and warmly greeted the Academy high-ups. Farber, who was standing on the edge of that group, looked over to where Yan was sitting, saw her looking, and gave a grin visible even at this distance.

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sylva said. ¡°What¡¯s he doing here?¡±

    ¡°I had heard rumors that he was going to be taking apprentices soon,¡± Pellon said, picking up his wine glass and taking a sip. ¡°I didn¡¯t quite believe that they were true. But I suppose this goes to show that they are.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯d you hear that from?¡± Maxes asked.

    ¡°Wil Vaneik,¡± Pellon said with a thin smile.

    ¡°I see why you failed to believe it then.¡±

    Sylva looked between them, not really understanding the conversation. Yan leaned towards her and whispered in her ear, ¡°I¡¯ll explain later.¡±

    The idea of First Sandreas taking apprentices was a surprising one, and an exciting one. Yan began mentally running down the list of her classmates to see who she thought the likely candidates were. Her thoughts were interrupted when Maxes asked, ¡°Who¡¯s the big one?¡±

    ¡°You noticed too?¡± Pellon asked with a smile. ¡°They do a decent job of cropping him out of the news, but he¡¯s in there sometimes.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d think that First Sandreas wouldn¡¯t want a pirate at his back,¡± Maxes said, watching the group with narrowed eyes.

    Yan¡¯s heart rate, which had already been thrumming along with excitement and interest, skyrocketed at Maxes¡¯ words. She gripped the napkin in her lap so hard that her knuckles turned white. Sylva, next to her, noticed, and asked, ¡°Pirate?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t get that big without growing up in space, and without being genetically modified in the womb. Only pirates do that,¡± Pellon said. ¡°It¡¯s the only real explanation.¡± Pellon raised an eyebrow, staring out over Yan¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Hm. It seems our party crashing has been noticed.¡±

    Yan could barely turn her head to look, and when she did, her heart leapt into her throat. The big man had separated himself from the group and was coming over to them, his hands in his pockets, though surely, Yan thought, with his hand on a gun.

    ¡°Drink up before we get kicked out, I suppose,¡± Maxes said, taking a sip of his wine. ¡°Too expensive to waste.¡±

    The idea of being in a room with a pirate made Yan too afraid to move, let alone drink her wine. She didn¡¯t turn away as the giant continued walking towards them. Farber, too, had noticed the motion, and he left the group around First Sandreas and quietly put himself in the large man¡¯s path. Yan could feel the pirate¡¯s eyes boring into her, even as he had a discussion with Farber. It ended with the pirate putting a heavy and broad hand on Farber¡¯s shoulder, giving a curt nod to Yan and her tablemates. Across from her, Pellon gave a nod back. Yan couldn¡¯t quite understand what had taken place, but as the pirate seemed to vanish into the crowd and they seemed to be in no danger of getting kicked out, she calmed down and relaxed a little in her seat. Still on edge, but no longer feeling like she was on a ship under attack.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Sylva asked.

    ¡°Hate pirates,¡± Yan said. ¡°They shouldn¡¯t exist.¡±

    ¡°Well, they do, and we just have to live with them,¡± Pellon said. ¡°The secret to surviving pirates is being on equal terms. And neither of us are in ships right now, so we are, in a way, on equal footing. I doubt that either of us are going to cause the other trouble. Try not to worry about it.¡± He seemed calm, so Yan tried her best to take the cue from her captain and finish her meal without too much anxiety. Any curiosity she had about what First Sandreas was doing had died with that odd interaction, though, and the conversation felt dull and muted by worry.

    When the time came to pay the bill, the waiter came over with a kind of bemused expression and presented them with a receipt for zero charges. ¡°Your meal was covered by First Sandreas,¡± he said. ¡°With apologies for causing an interruption to your dinner.¡±

    Pellon laughed at that.

    On the way out the door, Yan felt someone¡¯s gaze upon her, and she turned to her left. At the back of the room, hidden slightly in the shadows, she made eye contact with the large man, who nodded to her. Yan rushed out of the restaurant.

 A Toast to the Children of the Future

    A Toast to the Children of the Future

    Aymon Sandreas enjoyed parties, on occasion, but not when they distracted him from more important matters. He kept himself patient throughout the evening, speaking cordially to all the masters of the Academy: the oldest ones who had been his own teachers long ago, some who had been his peers, and some of whom he didn''t know at all. It was a low key event, and the food was pleasant, but it stretched on.

    He asked Marca Windreshon, the head of the Academy, when he would be allowed to finally go and choose his apprentices, a task that he didn''t want to do but might as well get over with.

    "The students have until eight to get their projects into the hall," Marca said, detecting his impatience, despite his even tone. "If you take a long, slow walk through campus, you can leave in fifteen minutes and get there as soon as the hall is empty."

    Aymon smiled and thanked her. He would wait a little longer than fifteen minutes, for politeness'' sake, to not seem as though he was rushing out. It was important to maintain the image, which, in this case, was that he respected and enjoyed working with the people at the Academy. He did, to the extent that he ever thought about them.

    The Academy lived in his mind as squarely a relic from the past. Although so many of the people he worked with came from these halls, and he trusted them on some level because of their shared upbringing, he rarely contemplated or had much nostalgia for his youth spent here. He had been a different person then, with so much less to think about.

    When Aymon did finally leave the party, it was with relief. He did take the opportunity to walk the grounds to the exhibition hall, flanked at a respectful distance by his guards and at a much closer distance by Halen, one step behind his right shoulder, a steady presence.

    The night sky was slightly cloudy, obscuring the stars, and a light breeze pulled Aymon''s cape out behind him like a banner. Aymon was of average height and build, with a sharp, pale face and piercing dark eyes. His hair was short and swept back from his forehead, streaked with grey among the dark brown. He was good looking, and looked younger than he actually was.

    Halen, behind him, was massive, though he moved with the quietness of a large cat. He had square jowls and light brown hair that had receded slightly, then stopped receding. His face was flushed a permanent, splotchy red, which tended to give people the first impression that he was chronically angry, which couldn''t be further from the truth.

    "Can I make a bet with you, Aymon?" Halen asked, speaking so softly that only the two of them could hear each other.

    "About?"

    "Your future apprentices."

    Aymon smiled. It couldn''t be anything else. "And what''s the wager?"

    "If I win, you open up the bottle Vaneik sent you for your birthday."

    Aymon scoffed. "And if you lose?" He didn''t turn to look at Halen, but he knew that Halen would be smiling.

    "Your choice."

    "You tease me."

    "Of course."

    "Well, what specifically are you betting on?"

    "To forewarn is to forearm, isn''t it? I''ll tell you when you come back out." They had arrived at the exhibition hall, though they stopped a good ten yards away from the Academy security guard at the door, far enough away that they could carry on their low conversation.

    "You''re not coming in?"

    "I''m sure my presence would cloud your judgement. They''ll be your apprentices, after all."

    Halen was right, though Aymon didn''t like it. "You''ll be outside the door."

    "Of course."

    They approached the imposing building, then, and the security was quick to let them in. The halls were dark, and their shoes made soft sounds on the marble floors. "Right this way, sir," the guard said, leading them to the destination.

    Aymon knew the way. After all, he had once exhibited his own project here. The guard unlocked and pushed open the heavy double doors to the exhibition hall proper. Aymon considered saying something more to Halen, but then the guard was right there, and instead he slipped inside the long hall, shutting the door behind him.

    The lights were off in the hall, except for emergency exit signs, but it was plenty light from the large moon''s glow spilling in through the tall windows that stretched to the vaulted ceiling.

    Projects were arrayed in rows on huge tables, each one with a numerical code, which Aymon was supposed to write down to make his selection. Some of the projects were large, some were small, but if he stretched out his awareness in the power, he could feel each one suffused with a warm glow, the echoes of the spirit of the student who made it.

    Aymon walked the perimeter of the hall for a minute, taking in the sights, but it would take too long to examine each project individually. He didn''t want to be here all night. So he sat down on the cold floor in the center of the room, breathed deeply, let the silence fill his ears, and closed his eyes. He sank down into a trance as though he were slipping on a piece of clothing. Here, in this state, feeling completely bodiless and at one with the universe, he could stretch out his awareness and listen as the universe spoke to him. He could feel Halen, waiting just outside the door with the rest of the guards, but he turned his attention away from Halen and towards the projects on tables.

    At first, he had a worry that nothing would call to him, that this was the wrong year to choose apprentices after all, but as he sat and just let the sensations travel through him, he found what he needed to find, far faster than he had thought he might. Three sparks fixed in his mind. The feelings that they gave him were not easily described, but they brought to mind certain physical memories: sticking his hand into a running stream of water, lighting a match and holding it to a candle wick, catching his own reflection unexpectedly in a window and being surprised at what he saw there.

    The stream first, then.

    He stood on legs that creaked a little in protest, and, with eyes still closed, walked gingerly to where the first spark was. He reached out to touch it without looking, felt a cool, hard surface of glass, and the tingle of his power meeting the power of the student''s creation. He opened his eyes and looked down at what he was touching.

    It was a glass sphere. Inside it, illuminated only by the ghostly moonlight, were gently rustling aquatic plants. In between them darted a small goldfish. It seemed so alive, Aymon almost believed it was. But he probed at it with his power and the layers of tricks that made it up were revealed to him: chemical processes guided along by brute force, neurons in the brain of the fish firing through magic. There was no spark of life here, but it was as close to creating real life as one could get. And, at the heart of the fish, right in the center, there was a bit of humor, a kind of joy in its creation. Aymon couldn''t help but smile when he felt that echoed happiness.

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    It seemed like such a pure and innocent thing to create. The student was obviously talented, there was no doubt about that-- this had taken an absolutely fiendish amount of work to put together. And they were smart, had learned well. He wanted this student, but he hesitated before writing the number down. Clearly, this project had been designed for a specific audience: the attention to anatomical, biological, and chemical detail screamed that the student wanted to go into science of some sort. If they had simply wanted to create the illusion of life, to make something purely fun, there were many less elaborate routes they could have taken.

    He would be taking that future away from this student if he wrote their number down. And he would probably be taking the sheer joy of creation away from them, too. There was little levity in his line of work. In fact, by writing the number down, there was a good chance he was signing this student''s death warrant.

    Still, he did it anyway. The project had called to him, and he was obliged to answer the call.

    Aymon walked on to the next project, the one the one that felt like the match, burning the tips of his fingers. It was far larger than the last one was, so much so that he needed to take a few steps back to take it in.

    It was a statue, made of solid metal, mostly iron. It was a genderless figure, dressed in a long, swirling robe, holding a sword above their head, ready to strike. The figure looked down at the person standing beneath the sword with a face wrought in shining gold. It seemed to trap and hold Aymon''s attention, and it filled him with a particular thrill of fear, as though the sword were liable to come down upon his head, should he be judged and found wanting.

    He wondered what the criteria for judgement were. He reached out his power into the statue and laughed aloud at what he found, the sound echoing through the empty hall.

    The statue was designed to make the viewer afraid; it was actively projecting that feeling into his mind. And, as for the judgement criteria, there were none. The figure could move, could swing its sword, but there was a deliberate, empty blank where a trigger condition should be. Aymon had the sudden temptation to put one in himself, but he resisted the foolish urge and just considered the student who had made the project.

    An eye for beauty, a necessary understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. An appreciation of fear. A love of being able to split the world into right and wrong with the slash of a sword. A complete lack of follow through.

    That could be fixed, perhaps. Aymon did have an appreciation for people who understood image, and this student reminded him of his own project, long ago. He wrote the number down.

    And then it was on to the last one.

    Another statue, he found. They seemed to be common this year, though they hadn''t been when he had graduated. Back then, the fad had been music. This year, the hall was dead silent, but he remembered how chaotic and noisy it had been when he had graduated, and could almost summon to life that memory-- all his old friends talking and laughing as they walked around the room together, looking at what they had made. He cleared those thoughts from his mind, and looked at the reality before him.

    This statue was pale and waxy, human sized, and hovering a few centimeters off the ground. It was nude, except for a tablecloth wrapped around its waist and clumsily tied. The tablecloth was not made with the power, Aymon found as he probed at it with his own power. It was just fabric, probably taken from one of the campus dining halls. As his power touched the statue itself, though, he took a step back. The statue began to warp and shift, taking on the exact likeness of Aymon himself, down to the thick scar that crossed the length of his chest.

    He raised his hand. The statue raised its hand. He said, "Oh Lord, who made your humble servant from starlight..." And the statue said it back to him, in the same voice, at the same time.

    It was a perfect mirror, down to the last detail. The statue even breathed as Aymon did. When he pressed his power against it, all it reflected was his own intentions. He couldn''t even feel how the thing was built, it was that slickly disguised.

    And what did that tell him about the student? They were adaptable, maybe. Clever, certainly. They had done a good job of tricking this process, the one process that was supposed to reveal their own beings. They had taken that and twisted it. It was impressive, but... He hesitated still.

    Did he want an apprentice who wasn''t even willing to show their true self? Perhaps that was as much of an advantage as it was a weakness. After all, being a leader was about cultivating an image as much as anything. If he thought of a leader as the pure reflection of the society that they came from, and a student as the reflection of their teacher, yes, perhaps this would work.

    He wrote the student''s number down. Maybe it was delusion. Maybe it was a mistake. But he made his choice, and then pulled all his power back inside his body. The statue returned to being waxy and still. Without his power floating around him, the hall suddenly felt cold and empty, and Aymon wanted to leave.

    He took one final look at the statue, the rows of projects on tables, then hurried out of the hall, back to Halen who smiled at him as the door opened. "Make your decision?" Halen asked.

    Aymon nodded.

    "Did you need to talk to--"

    Aymon waved his hand. "No, I can just send a message."

    Halen nodded, understanding Aymon''s desire to leave. "Right. The car is waiting."

    The trip back to Stonecourt was short and silent, and when they arrived, Halen followed Aymon to his private quarters, as was their usual ritual.

    Aymon''s rooms were richly furnished, bright, and neat. They could have never been called cozy, but Aymon had called them home since he had inherited the title of First, and they were at least filled with the things that Aymon had gathered and enjoyed over the years: knick knacks on shelves, photographs and paintings on the walls, and Halen smiling at him.

    "Are you going to break out Vaneik''s birthday gift?" Halen asked as he sat down on Aymon''s couch, crossing his legs and taking up most of the space. Aymon sat across from him.

    "You''ll have to tell me what I was betting on first."

    "You won''t open it up simply in honor of your future apprentices?" Halen asked.

    "Think you''re about to lose your bet?"

    "No," Halen said. He stared up at the ceiling. "I had a most interesting conversation with one of the Academy people, right after we arrived."

    "I had wondered what that was all about."

    "I figured there was no need to worry you about it earlier. You had some accidental party crashers lurking in the back."

    "Oh?"

    "Two students and one of their families. One of the masters had let them in."

    "And this came to your attention because?"

    "It would be my prerogative to pick out interlopers regardless," Halen said. "But one of the students was on the edge of a complete panic. Obviously, that kind of thing catches my attention, especially when it''s that clear over the crowd noise."

    Aymon frowned. "Panic?"

    Halen smiled. "Yes."

    "I assume you found out why."

    "I was on my way to investigate, but the one who invited them in stopped me and told me who they were."

    "And they are?" Halen was drawing out the story for suspense, but Aymon found he was unexpectedly tired and not in the mood for suspense or entertainment. Choosing apprentices had been more draining than he had realized. Halen picked upon this and smiled gently.

    "It''s funny," Halen said. "Usually, when we walk into a room and panic ensues, it''s over you. But she was a spacer, must have seen me for a pirate right away, got herself worked up a little. Anyway, I spoke to her mentor. By his account, she''s quite talented."

    "And you think I''ve picked this spacer child to be my apprentice? Wouldn''t it be a problem if she panics whenever she''s in a room with you?"

    Halen laughed. "I think we could learn to work with each other."

    "Alright, tell me the name, and I''ll check it when I get their profiles."

    "I''ll do you better-- her master described her project to me, which I assume you saw."

    "Fine, fine," Aymon said. "There were hundreds of projects in that hall, though. And I only picked three."

    Halen closed his eyes. "Was one of them a fishbowl?"

    "You were spying on me, you liar," Aymon said, incredulous.

    Halen stood. "I wouldn''t lie to you."

    "If you could tell just from being in a room with the girl that I would want her as my apprentice, why do we go to the trouble of making projects to begin with?"

    Halen had already wandered away, into the dining room area, where he was pulling out the bottle from the wine fridge and gathering two glasses from the cabinet. "I''m a special case. Besides, you wouldn''t want to pick students out of a hundreds long police lineup. And if you had seen how she was feeling with me standing behind you, you wouldn''t have wanted her."

    Aymon sighed. "I''m shocked you aren''t saying something about how the Academy is arcane and stupid."

    "And the Academy is arcane and stupid," Halen said, returning with a smile. "May I?" He held up the bottle of wine, set the glasses down on the table.

    "You won," Aymon said, leaning back in his seat.

    Halen put the bottle down on the coffee table, then came around behind Aymon and put his thick hands on Aymon''s shoulders. Aymon relaxed into the touch. Halen''s power was working on him, relaxing the tension in his neck, releasing the knot in his back that he hadn''t been fully aware of. "Don''t be so grim," Halen said, then sat down next to Aymon.

    He uncorked the bottle with his power, not bothering with a corkscrew, and poured the wine into the two glasses, passing one to Aymon.

    "What are we toasting to?" Halen asked, holding up his glass.

    "To the future leader of the Empire," Aymon said.

    "Let''s just say to the future." Halen clinked his glass against Aymon''s, and they drank.

 The Interview

    The Interview

    Yan sat at the kitchen table of the dorm apartment that she shared with Sylva, staring down at the three thick pieces of colorful cardstock that she had gotten in the mail. They were arranged out on the table in a spread in front of her, one a deep blue with white text, one a forest green with black text, and one a stark white with red text and gold along the edges of the card. They all said approximately the same thing: her name, Yan BarCarran, and the time and place for her interview.

    She kept shuffling the cards around on the table, trying to put them in some sort of order. Though officially they weren''t labeled with who they were from, she knew. The blue card was from the Academy itself, offering her the opportunity to eventually become a staff member. Her own mentor, Master Farber, had scrawled a note on the back of it.

    "Yan, I know you have at least one other compelling offer (& maybe more!) so I don''t expect you to take me up on this, but I had to put in at least a token gesture to keep you in my clutches :) "

    The green card was even less of a surprise, though when she had first laid eyes on it, she had almost cried tears of relief. It was the offer from the xenobiology team, exactly as she had been hoping for.

    It was the white and red card that troubled her. She picked up the card and flipped it over and over in her hands, feeling the paper and the slight indents that the ink had made-- letterpressed, not just printed. It was a luxe thing, higher quality than the other two. On a whim, she reached out her power to touch the gilt on the edge of the card, investigating it on a molecular level. It had the familiar sensation of real gold, not just ink.

    She rearranged the cards again on the table, in a column going down. Green, white, blue.

    Yan knew in her heart that she wouldn''t take the offer from Master Farber to stay at the Academy. She appreciated the gesture, and the strength of its sentiment was almost enough to make her consider it, or at least feel guilty for not considering it, but she didn''t believe that she would make a good teacher.

    Looking at the white card with red letters put a sinking feeling in her stomach. She didn''t know for sure what it was, but she had a terrible guess. First Sandreas was taking apprentices. The red on the card was the exact same shade as the cape he had been wearing when she caught a glimpse of him in the restaurant. She couldn''t imagine who else would send such an elaborate invitation.

    Sylva came into the kitchen, turned on the electric kettle, then came up behind Yan and leaned on the back of Yan''s chair, putting her elbows on Yan''s shoulders and her chin on the top of Yan''s head. "Still fiddling with those?"

    "You have it easy," Yan said.

    Sylva scoffed. "Sure, getting one offer is ''easy'', but getting three..." There was a distinct note of jealousy in her voice.

    Yan disentangled herself from Sylva''s elbows and turned around in her chair to look at her. "Are you mad at me for this?"

    "No," Sylva said. "Mostly at myself." She stared past Yan, at the decorative clock on the wall.

    "Hey," Yan said, grabbing her arm. "I think you''re perfect. I''d give you an apprenticeship any day of the week."

    Sylva''s laugh was bitter, but she tried to smile through it. "Thanks."

    The kettle boiled. Sylva made herself some tea, then slid into the creaky wooden chair next to Yan. She pulled the three cards over to herself and did the same mental calculations that they had both been doing all morning.

    "You should take xenobio," Sylva said. "It''s not really even a choice. We''d both be in Yora, we could get a place together..." She steadfastly ignored the white card, perhaps because of the air of mystery it held. Sylva was much more into the concrete possibilities than the abstract ones.

    "I''ll go to all the interviews, at least," Yan said. "I have to know."

    Sylva nodded. She pulled her own card out from her cassock pocket, laid it on the table next to Yan''s. Hers was a pale blue with black text, slightly battered from all the handling it had taken in her pocket. "IKRB won''t be so bad."

    "I''m sure you''ll love it." IKRB was the Imperial Knowledge Review Board, a branch of the government dedicated to reviewing and approving mostly theological texts. "You''ve always had an ear for language."

    Sylva heaved a sigh into her cup of tea. "I guess. Did you tell your family about this?"

    "I told them that I got the two knowns and a mystery. I''m sure they think I''m going to take xenobio. They won''t get back to me until they''re back at a station though." She glanced at the calendar. "Probably will be a couple days."

    "So, not until after interviews."

    "Yeah."

    <hr>

    Yan dressed in her nicest uniform for her third and final interview, the mysterious one that had left her painfully distracted. The line between anticipation and fear was a thin one, and she could never tell if she was crossing it; the two emotions jittered her in almost the same way.

    The interview was at noon in the nicest building on campus, the one where all the top Academy officials kept their offices. Yan had to sign in and be escorted by a guard into a waiting room.

    There were two other students there, sitting in chairs against the wall. She recognized both of them, knew their names and faces, but they weren''t anything more than classmates. She probably hadn''t had anything more than a passing conversation with either of them in years.

    The first student was Sid Welslak, who was clearly trying to appear nonchalant, with his legs stretched out before him and a wide smile on his face. He was a pale man, shaved completely bald, but with thick eyebrows over a pair of sturdy looking glasses. Yan knew he was deaf, a fact that interested her in a distant kind of way. As a spacer, she had a limited command of sign language, though most of her vocabulary was technical. In order to be allowed to go on spacewalks, she had needed to learn the language well enough to communicate in event of radio failure. Regardless of Yan''s proficiency with sign, Sid had some way of understanding when people spoke to him aloud, though Yan didn''t know by what mechanism; she hadn''t been nosy enough to ask.

    Kino Mejia sat next to Sid, twisting a piece of string vigorously between her fingers, some kind of nervous tic. Yan''s impression of her was that she was intensely quiet and kept to herself, but came to midnight worship a lot. Yan saw her there basically every time that she decided to go. Kino had tanned skin, and two long braids of straight dark hair hung down past her ears. She stared at Yan as she came in but didn''t say anything.

    "Hi," Yan said aloud, trying to break the awkward stiffness of the moment.

    "Hi you," Sid signed back at her.

    "Who''s in there?" Yan signed back, struggling for a second to pull the signs from her distant memory. Sid grinned and shrugged.

    "You have bad sign," he signed back, deliberately slowly for her. His face was extremely expressive, and he leaned forward in his seat. Yan tried not to be too offended.

    "No p-r-a-c-t-i-c-e."

    Kino watched this exchange without saying anything, though she was definitely paying attention; her eyes flicked between the two of them, and her fingers twitched along with Yan''s when she fingerspelled the last word.

    Their short conversation came to an end when Yan felt a wave of someone''s power wash over her, cresting and passing through her body. She shivered, and the door at the end of the room swung open.

    Immediately, Yan stiffened in her seat, clenching her hands at her sides so hard that her fingers dug little marks into her palm. There, holding the door open, was the man from the restaurant. The pirate. Yan stared at him, and he stared back at her.

    Now that she could see him up close in a well lit room, Yan realized that he was rather ugly, with a splotchy face. The corner of his lip twitched in a suppressed smile. He was mocking her. This minute shift in expression made Yan more angry than afraid, suddenly, wiping even the thought of her upcoming interview (and who that would surely be with) almost completely out of her mind.

    "Sid Welslak," the pirate said, and jerked his head at Sid. Yan momentarily paused her staring at the pirate and gave Sid a quick and encouraging smile, though he noticed her tension and his eyes traveled between her face and the pirate, hesitating for a fraction of a second.

    Sid headed into the office, and the pirate shut the door behind him, leaving Yan, Kino, and himself alone in the antechamber. He leaned against the wall serenely, observing Yan and Kino, but not looking directly at them. Yan decided to do some observation of her own, and she took a few deep breaths and centered herself, trying to calm down enough to really focus on her own power. She took a tendril of it and sent it across the room. When she had seen him the other day, she suspected that he was carrying a gun. She at least wanted to confirm that suspicion, so she pressed the tendril of power past the first layer of his clothes, to see if it was tucked just underneath the hem of his black jacket, accessible through the pocket if necessary.

    Her power found its mark, passing through the tingling cold metal, but she overshot slightly in her haste and she brushed against the pirate''s skin. The contact buzzed along the line of power Yan had drawn between the two of them, and Yan jumped back as though she had been stung, pulling her power back into herself and looking warily at him. She hadn''t known that he was a sensitive. She shouldn''t have been surprised by that, but she was.

    For his own part, the pirate did not outwardly react to her probing, continuing to lean against the wall nonchalantly, but Yan still felt observed. Every so often, while they waited, she felt him push his power out in a non-directed wave, clearly checking the building, keeping track of who was where and doing what.

    It was a stiff and tense wait for Yan, as neither the pirate nor Kino seemed intent on making conversation. The only movement in the room was Kino winding her piece of string over and over through her fingers, a relentless fidget.

    Finally, the door opened and Sid came out. He smiled at Yan, knocked the underside of his chin with his knuckles-- chin up-- and headed out of the waiting room.

    "Kino Mejia," the pirate said, and Kino went in, leaving Yan alone with the pirate.

    She couldn''t decide if she wanted to speak to him or not. Now that Kino was out of the room, his amusement at her obvious discomfort showed far more clearly on his face, but he didn''t seem inclined to break the silence either. Yan went as far as to narrow her eyes at him, and his smirk grew more pronounced. She looked away.

    After a long time, Kino emerged, nodded to Yan, and left. As Yan stood to enter the interview room, the pirate looked at her directly.

    "Good luck, Ms. BarCarran," he said. She hadn''t paid attention to his voice before, but it was low, and softer than she had thought.

    She scurried into the interview room.

    First Sandreas was sitting behind a wooden desk, with a window overlooking the campus green at his back. The light in the room was dim, and it was bright outside, so Sandreas''s face was cast in a dull shadow, obscuring some of his expression. There was a chair in front of the desk, and Yan wasn''t sure if she was supposed to sit or not. She had never been face to face with someone this important before.

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    "Please, take a seat," Sandreas said, gesturing.

    Yan almost stumbled in her rush to obey.

    In front of Sandreas on the desk was a manilla folder labeled with her name. He folded his hands on top of it.

    "I assume you know who I am," he said. "Or do I need to make a formal introduction?" There was a touch of humor in his voice, but Yan was too nervous to find it funny.

    "It''s an honor to meet you, First Sandreas," she said.

    He smiled at her, his head slightly tilted as though he were considering something. "You come highly recommended by your mentor, Ms. BarCarran," Sandreas said after a second. Between this opening and the pirate outside, the whole process seemed designed to make Yan as uncomfortable as possible. But she put a smile on her face and tried to respond politely.

    "I''m glad to hear it," she said.

    "And, for my own part, I liked your project very much."

    "Thank you."

    "I do have a question though," he said. Yan tried to keep still.

    "I''d be happy to answer," she said, though she had no idea what he was talking about. Her project was almost purely technical, requiring almost nothing in the way of artistic interpretation.

    "What was the punchline of the joke?" he asked.

    "I''m sorry, I don''t know what you mean." She had an inkling of what he was asking about, and her heart beat faster.

    "You clearly found your own project funny. I could feel the spirit in which it was made. I''m just wondering what exactly you intended."

    "Was it theologically unsound?" Yan asked. She had created the illusion of life, after all. If the leader of the populated universe thought that was an affront to God...

    Sandreas laughed. "If it was truly heretical, I''m sure your mentor would have stopped you somewhere in the planning stages. You took pride and joy in making the work, I could tell. I just want to know what you were personally thinking."

    Yan took a deep breath, tried to steady herself before answering, deciding to go ahead and admit to what she had been joking about. "I couldn''t really decide what the real joke was. ''It''s not alive, but...''" She trailed off for a second, stared above Sandreas''s shoulders as she thought of the best way to express the feeling she had while designing her fishbowl. "¡¯That which is not living can never die¡¯, maybe. Or, ¡®it''s not alive, but nobody can tell the difference.¡¯"

    "That isn''t really true, though," Sandreas said mildly.

    She nodded, feeling slightly bolstered. "That''s why it''s funny. Of course you can tell it''s not alive, if you look at it with the power, and it can be destroyed just like anything else. I thought what was important was that, you know, we''re always striving to master what God created at the beginning of time, and we''re never going to get there, but it''s in the trying that--"

    Sandreas held up his hand and Yan fell silent. "I don''t need a lecture on theology right this second. Perhaps after you accept my offer for apprenticeship, you can lecture me at length."

    Yan didn''t have a response ready, so she floundered for a second. "Should I?"

    "Should you accept?" Sandreas leaned back in his seat, the light from the window illuminating the fine strands of the top of his hair. "That depends on a lot of things, I suppose."

    Yan nodded. Of course it did.

    "I understand that you have other offers?"

    "One from xenobiology, one from the Academy staff."

    "Good, good." He seemed sincere when he said this. "I do want you to make a real consideration of which you pick. This is not an easy job. I don''t live a life that I would force upon the unwilling."

    "What would the apprenticeship involve?" Yan asked.

    Sandreas laughed. "You weren''t even born back when I was Second or apprentice to First Herrault, so I suppose I can''t point you to the granular details of that ancient history." He paused for a second, then launched into a speech that he had probably already given twice today.

    "You''d be training to take my place, just like most other apprenticeships. The fine details of what you''d be doing on a day to day basis aren''t something that I can give to you, because it changes depending on what''s happening. Generally speaking, though, you''ll learn the ins and outs of power around the Empire, you''ll travel, you''ll speak to people, you''ll learn how to be a ruler. When you know enough of how to comport yourself, I''ll send you out as my emissary in places where that''s needed.

    "I''ll teach you what I can. You''ll learn a lot more on your own, as I did, and you''ll try hard not to make mistakes that ruin people''s lives. It''s a lot of responsibility.

    "It''s difficult, often lonely work. You will have access to information that almost no one else has. You will make decisions that can change the lives of entire planets full of people. You will see things that you can''t un-see, learn things you can''t un-learn, and do things that you can''t undo.

    "You''ll be in danger much of the time. Especially early on, you''ll probably look like an easy target for assassination." Though his face was still shadowed, a pained look flashed across it, an unpleasant memory, maybe. Yan recalled that there had been at least one attempt on Sandreas''s life, several years ago. Perhaps there had been even more that she didn''t know about.

    "You''ll stop being like just everyone else. You''ll have to give your whole self to this apprenticeship." He stopped speaking and looked across at her. Yan, who had been taking it all in, hadn''t expected him to stop, and fumbled her next sentence out.

    "Is it worth it?"

    "Are you asking me, or are you asking for yourself?"

    "You," she said. It wasn''t as though Sandreas knew enough about her to judge.

    He smiled, a distant look. "Yes." As he said this, Yan felt that wave of power from the pirate outside pass through her again, another check. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "It''s brought me greater joy and greater pain than I could have ever imagined when I sat where you sit now. I can''t imagine living a different life, and I wouldn''t want to."

    Yan nodded.

    "Do you have any other questions? This is your chance to ask. Speak as freely as you like."

    "Why did you pick me?" she asked. Some of the panic and anxiety had faded, and she was able to ask with a clear, contemplative voice.

    "Can anyone explain the whims of God?" Sandreas asked, then shook his head. "Something in your project, something in your being, called to me. It''s not something that can be put into words. I''m sure if you were to go out into the exhibition hall and look at the projects, you''d find someone whose spirit called to you in the same way. I don''t recommend you do that, though."

    "Why not?"

    "Because then you''d be forced to confront the fact that you''ve spent ten years going to school with someone with whom you could have worked perfectly, but you didn''t." He shrugged.

    "Did you look through the projects when you were a student?"

    "God, no. Not in the same way. I looked at them as spectacle only," he said. "And I''m glad I didn''t look at them in the power, for the reasons previously discussed."

    Yan wanted to continue prying on this point, because she felt fairly certain that if she searched through the projects in the hall, the only one she would find that would call to her was Sylva''s. Or, maybe Sandreas was right, and the same thing that called to him in Sid and Kino would also call to Yan. She tried to clear this train of thought from her head, nodded, and focused back on asking a different question.

    "What''s the salary?" she asked.

    Sandreas laughed at that. "I''m always surprised by spacer practicality. Two hundred thousand charges a year, as an apprentice."

    Yan flinched at the number. It was more than four times the salary of an unattached spacer-- someone who contracted aboard a ship that didn''t belong to their family. It was a large sum of money.

    "But money is not really an object, of course," Sandreas continued, waving his hand. "You probably won''t need to think about it much."

    Yan nodded slowly. "How long do I have to make a decision?"

    "I''d prefer you tell me within the week." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card, much like the one that Yan had received inviting her here, though this was smaller. "That''s my personal contact information," he said. "I trust you will not abuse it. You can contact me and let me know your decision."

    "Are, uh, Kino and Sid going to be your apprentices?"

    "They have the same time to decide that you do, and even if they had already told me, I would hardly be at liberty to divulge that information now. Do you know them?"

    "Not really, just classes together sometimes."

    There was a moment of silence, and Sandreas seemed ready to dismiss her, but Yan had one more question, even though it felt impertinent.

    "You said that something in me called to you. Would we actually work well together?"

    "Would you like to find out?"

    Yan wasn''t sure what he meant by this, so she cautiously nodded.

    "Very well. Your file here says you enjoy meditation, much more than the average student. Is that correct?"

    Yan hadn''t realized the file went into that level of personal detail, and her face heated up in embarrassment, her eyes landing on the manilla folder as if staring at it could tell her what other things Sandreas knew about her. "Yeah, I do," she said.

    "Would you like to meditate with me? It might give you a better idea of who I am, as more than just a person from the news." When Yan didn''t respond after a fraction of a second, he said, "You can say no. This isn''t a test."

    Yan wasn''t opposed, just truly shocked. It was an intimate thing, to meditate with someone, and she had never expected the leader of the Empire to open himself up like that. "I''ll do it," Yan said. "Yes."

    He smiled and laid his hands on the desk, palm up. Yan scooted forward in her chair and laid her hands on top of his, palm to palm. She could feel the faintest pulse of his heartbeat with her fingertip over the delicate skin of his wrist, and his hands were warm and dry. Soft, too.

    "I won''t make a racket with my singing," he said with a half laugh, then his face stilled and he closed his eyes, beginning to say a simple prayer out loud. "Oh God, may these things be true: that we may seek You, that we may find You in each wonder of the universe, and that we may be part of Your glory..."

    Yan closed her eyes and joined in, the mantra a familiar one. "Oh God..."

    They said it several times, focusing only on the words and the feeling of hand-on-hand, until, in a moment of lightness, a dizzy rush, their minds joined together.

    Yan could feel Sandreas''s body as if it were her own, and she understood his thoughts as they flitted past her, somehow faster than words but clear and full of meaning nonetheless. She could perceive herself as Sandreas understood her: a gangly girl, taller than he was, who had made such a positive impression on... and there was a warm feeling that couldn''t be contained or explained... competent, nervous, practical.  Perhaps too self reflective for her own good , he thought as he noticed her observing herself through his own lens. He pulled that train of thought away from her grasp.

    I don''t know you well enough for my thoughts to reflect you as you are , Sandreas thought. And then he waited for Yan to make her move.

    She had to think for a second about what to do. What was the best way to figure out how well they would get along? Sandreas followed this line of thinking with a patient amusement, but did not intervene.

    Yan called to the surface of her mind a few memories, moments from her life, and they travelled through them together, Yan watching as Sandreas experienced them, feeling how he processed the experience of--

    Yan, so small, stepping onto a planet for the first time in her life. The sun above a tempered bronze-- how had she never intimately known that there was a connection between Light and Heat? And suddenly, suddenly, no walls around her. No walls, no suit, nothing but the vastness of the dusty blue sky, the endless sandy horizon, the wind whipping in her face so hard that she felt she couldn''t breathe through it. Yan couldn''t hold her own emotions at bay as she showed this scene to Sandreas, though she did manage to keep it an instant, frozen in time, waiting to see what he would do next.

    He took in the feeling of being in Yan''s small body, the overwhelming sensations of being in the world, and he responded as though drawing upon his own memories.

    What had he provided, so many years ago, to someone else feeling this lost? What did this small Yan want in this moment? Stability. Direction.

    The curiosity would come later, but right now it was reassurance that was needed. Sandreas took control of the memory, more like a dream, and turned Yan around, looking for the adult sure to be behind her. There--

    It had been her mother who had taken her down to Terlin, that first time, though only the once. After that, it had always been her uncle Maxes. But here in this memory, Yan clung to her mother''s legs as though they could stop her from drowning in the air of this wide open world, and her mother had stroked her braided hair, even as Yan squeezed her eyes closed.

    Stability, direction.

    It was one of the most powerful memories she had, and Yan was lost in it. Sandreas allowed this to continue, letting Yan''s mind drift as it may. His curiosity was a muted undercurrent to their shared thoughts.

    Yan thought about her mother for a fraction of a second too long, and, as it always did when that happened, was spun to a different point in her memory. Before she opened her eyes, she could feel in this memory how old she was, how her baby teeth had left holes in her mouth, and how she was up in space again, her hand pressed to a cold window. She was floating there, in a viewing area aboard the  Iron Dreams , watching the adults work outside, loading great shipping containers from the station into the bays.

    Although Yan knew exactly what was about to happen in this memory, she was powerless to stop it running its course through her brain.

    One of the adults outside the ship flew past the window, firing their suit jets to stop when they saw Yan looking out at them. Yan knew it was her mother, though she couldn''t see her face through the suit helmet. Yan waved, and her mother signed through the window, "Go to bed."

    Tiny Yan stuck out her tongue, and her mother made a shooing motion, then flew away. Yan would have obeyed the instruction to leave, but she stayed to watch her mother work for just one more minute.

    One of the jets aboard the shipping containers, the ones that were supposed to send them drifting into the bays, misfired, sending the box that must have massed thousands of tons into a wild and silent spin. Most of the adults scattered out of the way, but Yan''s mother was not so lucky.

    Yan was as helpless to stop watching as she was to stop the box from crashing into her mother, in a sequence that seemed to stretch and warp and slow, neverending--

    Sandreas had the ability to pull out of the memory, though, and he did, dragging both their minds loose from the meditation with an almost physical snap. When they came back to their own bodies, they were both breathing heavily, shaken.

    Yan snatched her hands back from his as though she had been burned. She wanted nothing more than to run away.

    "Be careful with meditation," Sandreas said to her. "It''s a dangerous tool. I hope you found what you were looking for."

    Yan was frozen for a second, then she stood rapidly, almost knocking the chair over behind her in her haste. "Thank you for the interview; thank you for paying for dinner," she said, the words tumbling out of her far too quickly in her urge to make a quick exit.

    "Dinner?" Sandreas asked, looking confused. Then a spark of recognition lit his face. "Oh, you should thank Halen for that."

    "I''ll let you know my answer," Yan said, which was as much of a goodbye as she could muster. It was all she could do to walk, rather than run, out of the room. Sandreas¡¯s impression of her was probably irreparably damaged, and she didn''t care at all who Halen was; she just wanted to get away as fast as possible.

 Divorce Court

    Divorce Court

    Yan was inconsolable on her bed, laying facedown on her pillow with her shoes still on her feet, dangling off the edge. The afternoon sun streamed in through the window and lit a warm square on her back. She lay there for what felt like an eternity, until her sobs subsided into messy tears, and those receded into mere hiccoughs, and even that slowed to the occasional sniffle.

    In reality, she probably hadn''t been laying there for very long. The door to her apartment opened with a bang, revealing Sylva bearing a fancy coffee in each hand and a bag of pastries held in her teeth. Sylva must have heard Yan''s prolonged sniffle, because she came into Yan''s room and flopped down on the bed, stepping lightly over the few discarded pairs of pants and shirts on the floor.

    "Fucked it up that bad, hunh?" Sylva said, sounding altogether too pleased. "I got you a coffee in celebration."

    Yan could barely bring herself to roll over and sit up. She was a pathetic sight, with tear streaked face and puffy red eyes.

    "Xenobio it is, then," Sylva said gamely. She handed Yan the iced coffee, and Yan wordlessly pressed the cold cup to her eyes, as if it could stop the horrible aggravated feeling they had.

    The pastry bag turned out to contain chocolate chip cookies, the big good ones from the expensive bakery on campus, and Yan nibbled her way through one of them and downed half of her coffee before she could string a coherent sentence together. Sylva wrapped her arm around Yan''s back and rested her head on her shoulder, and they both leaned back against the headboard of the bed, getting cookie crumbs all over Yan''s blue bedspread.

    "You gonna tell me what happened?" Sylva asked finally.

    Yan recounted the whole story then, stumbling over the words but feeling better as she got it out of her. When she got to the part about thanking First Sandreas for dinner, she actually laughed. "I don''t know why I thought that I needed to say that. He was so confused." A chuckle and a sniffle.

    "Did he look like he didn''t want you as an apprentice?"

    "I wouldn''t want me as an apprentice after I made myself look like such an idiot."

    Sylva bit her lip, then poked Yan in the side. "I''m not saying this for my benefit, because I want you to take the xenobio job, but I think you''re being hard on yourself for no reason."

    Yan frowned, not speaking.

    "He clearly wants you," Sylva continued. "Fuck, Yan, he let you into his head. That has to be more vulnerable for him than it is for you, even if you accidentally, you know, did that. He wanted you to trust him. I don''t think you had to do anything to win him over."

    "Why though?" Yan asked. It was the question that kept tumbling around and around in her mind. She had done nothing but make bad impression after bad impression on Sandreas.

    Sylva shrugged. "You said there were two others? Who were they? Maybe there''s some similarities."

    "Sid Welslak and Kino Mejia." Sylva made a face, a not very pleasant one. "What?" Yan asked.

    "Yeah, you have absolutely nothing in common with those weirdos."

    "You don''t have to be mean," Yan said. "They''re fine."

    "High praise. A ringing endorsement." Sylva frowned.

    "What?"

    "Well, if that''s who you''re competing with, then no wonder First Sandreas wants you."

    Yan disentangled herself from Sylva''s arm. "I don''t understand the issue you have with them. It''s not like they ever did anything to you."

    Sylva huffed but didn''t respond. Yan rolled her eyes. At least dealing with Sylva''s fresh bad mood had distracted her slightly from her own misery. Yan pulled her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the Academy student directory.

    "What are you doing?" Sylva asked, trying to lean over to see the screen, but Yan held the phone out of Sylva''s view until she had finished what she was doing, which was looking up the phone numbers of Kino and Sid and sending them a message. Once that was done, she dropped her phone on her lap, and Sylva immediately picked it up to investigate.

    "You''re really going to talk to them?" Sylva asked, reading the group text Yan had just sent.

    "I should. I think."

    Sylva dropped the phone as if it were a live insect when it buzzed in reply. Sid had responded, saying that he could meet whenever.

    "If you take the apprenticeship, they''ll be your competition. If you don''t, they''re just weird. I don''t know what you''ll get out of talking to them." Yan didn''t have the strength to try to convince Sylva to have less of a sudden grudge against Kino and Sid, so she just shook her head.

    <hr>

    Yan met Kino and Sid that night on the back lawn outside the library. It was a meeting place that Sid had suggested, though Yan didn''t know what particular import it carried for him. It was a nice spot, at the top of the huge hill with the library lit at their backs, looking out over the last vestiges of city. The city lights ended abruptly in thick forest about ten kilometers distant from where they sat, just at the edge of their visibility now. It was a clear night, not foggy, with a mild chilly breeze that pushed thin clouds across the sky, casting the scene into bursts of shadow when one of them scuttled in front of the large full moon.

    Sid was already waiting for Yan when she arrived, stretched out on the grass with his eyes closed. The slope of the hill was steep enough that Sid seemed almost vertical. Yan sat down next to him. When he didn''t move, she realized it was because he could neither see nor hear her approach. She agonized for half a second about what to do, then ended up gently shaking his shoulder.

    He sat up with a wide grin and waved hello, then held up one finger, indicating that she should wait for a second. She waited, unsure of what she was waiting for, but then she felt him use the power, holding out his hand and squinting his eyes, until a glowing ball of air formed, intensely hot, which he ''tossed'' up above them. It was a simple trick for creating light, though really only good for use in places where nothing was liable to catch fire.

    "What did you think of your interview?" he signed, then fingerspelled ''interview'' when Yan looked confused.

    She shook her head. "I did bad."

    Sid raised an eyebrow. "Did he take back his offer?"

    "No." She pulled the card that had his number written on it out of her pocket, flipped it over in her hands a few times. She narrowed her eyes at Sid, and her fingers felt clumsy as she signed, "What other offers do you have?"

    He shrugged as he answered. "Fleet. Some architect." Again, he needed to fingerspell.

    "I got the Academy." She knew the sign for that, at least, steepling her hands together, then opening them like a book. "And..." She gave up and spelled xenobiology.

    The sign, as Sid repeated it to her, were the signs for space and life, up at the forehead.

    "Are you going to go with First Sandreas?" Yan asked.

    Before Sid could respond, Kino appeared in Yan''s peripheral vision, coming over the top of the hill and sitting down in front of them. She was out of uniform, not wearing her Academy cassock, just a tank top and long pants. It had been a pleasant spring day, but Yan found it hard to imagine that Kino wasn''t cold.

    "Glad you could come," Yan said aloud. "We were just talking about our interviews."

    Kino nodded. "I''m going to take his offer," she said, her voice peculiarly monotone.

    Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!

    "Oh," Yan said, rather startled.

    "You could have teased us with that information," Sid said, speaking aloud for the first time. He had a low voice, and he spoke slowly but clearly.

    "Why?" Kino asked. "It''s not a secret. I already told First Sandreas yes."

    "After the interview?" Yan clarified.

    "While I was with him."

    "You weren''t worried about coming off as overeager?" Sid asked.

    "I had no other offers," Kino said.

    "Really?" Yan asked, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice, even though it was probably rude.

    Kino stared at her, her dark eyes piercing. She wasn''t quite looking in Yan''s eyes, but Yan found it a studying gaze nonetheless. "If I have one offer that I can live with, it''s no different than having seven."

    Sid''s hands flashed, a quick movement that Yan caught only the tail end of. "Crazy," he signed.

    Kino narrowed her eyes at him, and Sid smiled broadly. Yan could tell that the relationship between the two of them was not off to a good start. Maybe Sylva was right, but, no, she couldn''t think like that. Sid seemed nice, and Kino seemed intense, but not necessarily in a bad way.

    "What about you?" Yan signed. "Will you take it?"

    "What are you saying to him?" Kino asked.

    "Just asking if he was going to take the offer."

    "Of course," Sid signed. "It''s not a choice."

    Sid had expressed the exact feeling that Yan had, but didn''t want to put into words. She didn''t want to admit at all that it was true. She was standing at a crossroads, xenobiology on one hand, the whole of the Empire on the other. There was no way she could take the xenobiology road without living the rest of her life consumed with curiosity about what would have happened should she have picked the other path.

    She saw where the xenobio path led: the map was as clear as any starchart. She would take the job, gain experience, do well as she always had, perhaps be assigned to starting some new colony, terraforming or studying the life there. She could rise through the ranks, maybe to even the heights of being the leader of a colony herself. It would be a full life, and all that she had imagined for herself up to now, but it was a life that she could imagine in its entirety.

    Why had she been interested in xenobiology in the first place? Because of that moment, wondrous and divine, when she had first learned about all the teeming life that inhabited planets. She had been filled with a burning curiosity, a desire to connect with the vastness of life outside the well worn and comfortable hallways of her family''s starship.

    She couldn''t turn away from that. She knew it in her heart. Sandreas clearly understood as well. Though he hadn''t put it into words, in their shared mind space, he had communicated to her succinctly that he was willing to provide guidance (stability and direction, she thought) in the wide and open future, terrifying and too bright.

    Her reverie was interrupted when Kino turned to her and asked. "And you? Will you take the apprenticeship?"

    She felt like she was on a knife edge. "Should I?" She kept asking this question, as if anyone could answer it but herself.

    Kino stared at her with an intensity, an almost angry one, that made Yan flinch back. When Kino spoke, she quoted the theology. "Can you bear the weight and remain an upright man?"

    The damp grass stabbed into the palms of Yan''s hands, and she looked away from Kino, out over the buildings of Yora, and up at the starry sky. She could have quoted the theology right back, but she didn''t. "I hope so," she said.

    Kino nodded, then stood, dusting her pants off. "I hope so, too."

    "You''re leaving already?" For some reason, Yan had expected this conversation to go on much longer, for them all to get to know each other. But Kino seemed unwilling to engage in anything but the most direct communication of information. That having been accomplished, she wanted to leave on her own business.

    "I''ll be around," Kino said, and then was off, loping down the side of the hill towards Yora proper, her braids flapping behind her head.

    Sid stood as well, watching her go, before signing to Yan, "We will have an interesting time." He helped her to her feet before she could answer, almost sending them both tumbling down the hill. Yan''s legs had fallen asleep, causing her to wobble as she stood.

    "Will we work well together?" she asked.

    "You and me?" Sid grinned again and winked. "Sure. I like you. We can be friends."

    "And Kino?"

    "I only like people who sign."

    Yan laughed and shook her head, unable to tell how much Sid was kidding. Kino was a tiny dot at the bottom of the hill now, so Yan and Sid began their walk back together through campus, with Sid''s ball of light hovering obediently over their heads, casting dual shadows whenever they passed through the glow of a streetlamp along the path.

    "Doing anything this break?" Yan asked.

    "Going home to visit family." He launched into a description of his family, one that included so much vocabulary that Yan didn''t know that she could barely follow it. She learned that he had a younger sister (named in his story only with a sign for apple circled round his face) and an older brother (''dirt'' in one hand, ''foot'' in the other, tapped together over his chest), but that was the extent of the information that she gleaned from his telling. He lived on a farm on Galena, but Yan didn''t have much farm-related sign. She made a mental note to practice sign vocabulary on the  Dreams over the summer. It might be difficult, since everyone there also only had general and technical vocabulary for spacewalks, but she could find some educational videos, maybe. It would give her something to do.

    "What are you called?" Yan asked. "Just so I know."

    He grinned his wide grin once again-- it seemed to be a perpetual feature of his face, but Yan couldn''t say she minded it. He slowly made the sign for ''egg'' and knocked it hard against his own bald head.

    <hr>

    Packing up the apartment that she shared with Sylva turned out to be an unexpectedly trying thing to do. It wasn''t that Yan had much in the way of belongings, but Sylva was in a terrible funk, and trying to pry apart their shared possessions was an unpleasant negotiation.

    "It''s like we''re getting divorced," Yan joked while pulling mugs out of the kitchen cabinet and trying to decide whose box of kitchenware each would go in. While Yan held up a mug covered with leaping frogs and tried to remember who had originally purchased it, Sylva scowled at the ground.

    "I wanted you to live with me," she said.

    "I know. I can''t, though," Yan said. She decided that she probably liked frogs more than Sylva did, so the mug ended up in her own box. "First Sandreas is providing me an apartment."

    "You could have said no." And Yan could have said no to the apprenticeship as a whole, which was really what Sylva was frustrated about. But she hadn''t. She had sent First Sandreas a message saying that she would take the apprenticeship, and the next day a package full of notes about where she would be living, and her new documentation as an employee of the Imperial government, and all kinds of other important papers had arrived at her doorstep. It had been accompanied by a new cassock and cape, blood red like the one she had seen First Sandreas wear, but shorter and far less impressive. Still, it was made out of a fabric that was nicer than any of her well worn Academy uniforms. Things moved fast in Sandreas''s camp, apparently.

    Yan didn''t respond to Sylva''s aggravation, just continued splitting the mugs. Maybe she should just give them all to Sylva. The note had said that her new place would be furnished. But the objects that she had collected over the years seemed hopelessly nostalgic to her; parting with them would have felt too much like cutting ties with this segment of her life.

    "Are you looking forward to going back on the  Dreams ?" Yan asked, attempting to break the tension. Since Sylva had been easily able to rent an apartment on the outskirts of the city, she would be able to spend her summer break with Yan aboard her family''s ship.

    "It beats spending the summer with my family," she grumbled, but was still clearly glad to be coming. "I guess I should be happy I get to monopolize your time for a bit longer, before you spend all your time being important, and stuff."

    Yan sighed. "We''re not going to be that far away from each other. You can come see me literally whenever. And I''ll text you, I promise." She opened the fridge and started examining condiments there, then decided that they should probably all be thrown out. She tossed them one by one into the garbage, correcting their course with a nudge from the power when her throws went wide. "And I guess I should warn you, I don''t know how much time we''ll even be able to spend together when we''re on the  Dreams . Captain Pellon said that I could try my hand at being a navigator, so I''ll be on the bridge most of the time."

    "As long as you still let me stay in your room."

    Yan laughed. "Of course. I''m not going to kick you out."

    "I can''t believe we''re really graduating." Sylva stared out of the open window, down towards the courtyard. The bright new spring leaves of the trees rustled gently in the wind, and the smell of fresh cut grass filled their apartment.

    "Can''t stop getting older, I guess."

    "Yeah." Sylva dropped a stack of textbooks on the floor with a thud, having pulled them off the bookshelf. "Do you want any of these, or are we donating them?"

    "Donate." Thick xenobiology coursebooks were useless to Yan now. How strange it seemed, that the course of her life could be diverted in an instant, and all the hours she had put into study had been for nothing. Well, perhaps not nothing.

    Sylva began peeling posters off the walls, once the books were sorted, rolling them all into tubes and taping them shut. The apartment they had been living in for years felt more like a stranger''s place with every passing second. It twisted Yan''s heart. As she dumped out the kitchen junk drawer to sort through it on the table, she had an idea. A thick permanent marker had been in the drawer, and she twirled it around in her fingers before walking over to the shared living room closet. Sylva watched her curiously.

    "What are you doing? I already cleaned that," Sylva said.

    "I know." Yan''s voice was muffled as she looked around the interior of the closet, a weird, skinny thing that went deep into the wall. Sylva came around behind her, wedging herself past the clothing bar with some difficulty, now blocking Yan''s exit.

    Yan had already uncapped the marker, and she was considering the best place to leave her mark. She glanced back at Sylva. "Here okay?"

    Sylva rolled her eyes. "I''m sure the next students in here will love that we''re scribbling all over their closet."

    "They won''t care." Yan wrote her name in neat block letters on the wall, then handed the marker to Sylva, who had to press herself quite hard against Yan in order to reach this deep part of the closet. Rather less gracefully, Sylva added ''+ Sylva Calor'' and the year.

    "Perfect," Yan said.

    Sylva seemed frozen, staring at it for a long moment in the dim light of the closet. Yan didn''t try to move, even though Sylva''s elbow was digging uncomfortably into her stomach. After a second, Yan became aware that Sylva was crying, or at least breathing very strangely.

    "Hey, it''s okay," Yan said, awkwardly trying to pat Sylva''s shoulder.

    Sylva turned around in the closet, wrapping her arms around Yan''s midsection and burying her head in Yan''s shoulder. Yan stood stiffly until she remembered how her arms were supposed to go, and she hugged Sylva back, rocking gently side to side in the closet.

    "Shh," Yan said. "It''s fine-- I''m not going anywhere-- it''s okay." These platitudes failed to comfort Sylva, though, and she held on to Yan as though she were drowning.

 A Lesson In Power

    A Lesson In Power

    Aymon swiped through his tablet, reading snatches of the report that had been made on his new apprentices for the second or third time. He flipped past pictures of Sid sitting at the kitchen table of his family''s farmhouse on Galena, leaned over waist deep in the guts of a tractor engine, and accompanying his older brother to the bar in town. Similarly, there were plenty of pictures of Yan enjoying her summer break with her family: working navigation on the bridge of the starship  Iron Dreams , eating dinner with her friend Calor, taking shore leave on Byforest Station. It was an amalgamation of all sorts of quotidian images, taken from video surveillance cameras that had been placed on the ship by an Imperial agent.

    It was only Kino whose photographic record was spotty at best. Although she was physically the closest to Aymon by far-- she had remained in her tiny Academy apartment over the summer-- she had also been almost completely unsurveillable. Kino had immediately found and destroyed the cameras that had been placed in her apartment, and she had sent a text to Aymon asking him to respect her privacy, please. He had been annoyed, but Halen had laughed and acquiesced. He had not had someone reinstall the cameras.

    It was Halen''s policy that if the students could thwart his surveillance, they had the right to. In some ways, it was more teaching them to be their own safeguards than anything, a lesson that Kino had apparently learned already. Even without the cameras, though, when Kino left her apartment (a surprisingly rare event), she was uniquely hard to follow. She didn''t even seem to be doing it on purpose; pursuers simply slid off her like raindrops slid off an oiled coat. Halen had been patient, though, and one of his staff was finally persistent enough to figure out where Kino went.

    It was annoying to learn the answer, but it was not a problem that couldn''t be dealt with delicately over time. The first day of his apprentices being with him was probably not that time, though.

    "They''ve made it through security," Halen said. "Should be just a minute, now."

    "They''re together?"

    "They''re presenting a unified front, at least," Halen said. He must have been watching them with the power, tracking them as they moved through the halls of Stonecourt, since he wasn''t looking at his phone and the security system. Instead, Halen was just looking out the window behind Aymon''s heavy wooden desk, watching birds flit across the sunlit courtyard outside.

    Aymon put down the tablet on his desk. He wasn''t going to learn anything new from a report he had already studied cover to cover. "Is it wrong that I feel nervous?"

    "I''m sure teachers get jitters on the first day of school as much as the students do," Halen said. "You''re going to be stuck with them for a while."

    "The rest of my natural and unnatural life, you mean," Aymon said with a slight frown. He had been resistant to the idea of taking apprentices for a long time, because it meant, in a way, admitting that he was getting older. He was no longer young at all, and he needed to ensure that the line of Voices was unbroken, which meant training a successor to take over for him. That time would be in the far distant future, he hoped. The day that he would relinquish his position would not be a happy one. Thinking about it put him in a sour mood.

    "I can understand you wanting to make a good second impression. Or third, for Yan."

    Aymon made a noncommittal noise. "I''m sure that any opinions they have of me are more set by what they''ve seen on the news than what they thought of our interviews."

    "Of course, but they''re going to be forming a much closer impression of you starting now."

    "I''m not sure which of us has the other at an advantage." Aymon drummed his fingers on the desktop in impatience. "I certainly hope they won''t annoy me too much."

    "It would only be fair, considering what you put Herrault through."

    Aymon laughed at that. "It was hardly only my fault."

    "They''re outside the door."

    Aymon stood. A long second later, there was a knock, probably from his secretary, Ms. Rosario. "Come in."

    The heavy wooden door swung open, and his three new apprentices almost tumbled inside the room. Ms. Rosario offered Sandreas a smile over the top of Kino''s head, then shut the door behind herself, stranding the apprentices in the room with him.

    It was the first time that Aymon had seen the three of them together. They stood as though they had some familiarity with each other; Yan and Sid were bumping elbows. All of them seemed frozen, unsure of what to do or say.

    Kino was looking around the room furtively, taking in the sunny white walls, bookshelves with well chosen mementoes, the famously photographed desk, the couches, and coffee table with a Book of Songs laying open on its glossy surface. Her left hand was prying at her right sleeve, tugging the button of her cassock almost all the way off.

    Sid had a wide smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his eye. He leaned forward slightly, resting on the balls of his feet, and he had his hands loosely in his pockets.

    Yan stood stiffly upright, the tension evident in the controlled hunch of her shoulders. She looked back and forth between Aymon and Halen, clearly not happy, but she kept that emotion off her face and wore a thin, professional smile, replacing nervousness or anger.

    "Welcome to Stonecourt," Aymon said, after half a second of letting them stew. "Please, take a seat." He gestured to one of the couches and all three jumped to obey, sitting down as if it were some kind of competition. Yan ended up in the middle of the other two. At a much less frantic pace, Aymon made his way over to the opposite couch, sharing a brief look of amusement with Halen on his way.

    "I trust you all had a pleasant summer?" Aymon asked.

    There was a brief moment of silence, then Yan spoke up. "Yes, sir."

    "Is Ms. BarCarran the only one of you who has a voice?"

    "Maybe," Sid said with a cheeky grin. "Sir."

    Aymon clamped down on his own amusement and just gave Sid a look. He would cut down on false politeness now. "There''s no need to be so formal when we''re in private," he said. "You''re going to be spending-- I hope it''s a good long time-- with me, so we might as well get used to each other now. You can call me Aymon or Sandreas, whichever you prefer."

    If Sid was crestfallen at having the tactic of ''waiting just a little too long to be polite to someone'' taken away from him immediately, he didn''t look it, and continued to smile and meet Aymon''s eyes. Yan, judging by her face, seemed to have made up her mind that she was going to call him ''Sandreas'', first names be damned. Kino watched the exchange with no change in expression, still silent and twisting the sleeve of her cassock.

    "Personally, I think the best introduction that we can make with each other is by pretending that we are already well acquainted. The philosophy of apprenticeships is in learning by doing, of course. I wish I could say that I''ll be putting you all to work immediately, but I think that that would be an overestimation of both of our capabilities," Aymon said. "Quite obviously, I''ve never had apprentices before, so this will be a learning experience for all of us." Halen was right, he sounded just like some kind of teacher, and not a very good one. "I suppose I should lay down some ground information, shouldn''t I?"

    The three apprentices nodded at him, following Yan''s lead. She had her eyes fixed on him, steadfastly ignoring Halen over by the window.

    "Right. I''m going to be announcing that I have taken apprentices at the Governor''s Dinner, which is coming up in two weeks. That will be your first public appearance, and the first thing I''m going to require of you. That should give us all at least enough time to settle ourselves into this new arrangement, before I start giving you serious work." He smiled, trying not to make it sound too much like a threat. Aymon was used to dealing with known quantities: politicians with agendas. It was odd to not have that be the case, and it left him floundering. Since the apprentices weren''t providing much in the way of visible feedback to his words, he just had to keep going.

    "In these two weeks, you''re going to receive a crash course on how to protect yourself. It''s an unfortunate fact of life that as soon as you become a visible public figure, especially one close to me, you become a target. I''d like to minimize the chances of one of you dying immediately. I believe I mentioned this to you already, Yan."

    "You did," she said, and glanced at the other two, surprised that he hadn''t said that to them.

    "Sadly for you," Aymon said, this time with a broad smile and sweeping look across his three apprentices. "I don''t have time to spend teaching you the basics of self defense."

    "We had self defense at the Academy," Sid interjected. It was a relief that he did, allowing Aymon to play off his words.

    "And I learned how to cook from my mother," Aymon said with a wave of his hand. "That doesn''t mean that I could serve a three course meal. You may not know this, but the Academy masters have a vested interest in all their students not being able to hurt each other." Aymon''s voice was dry as chalk.

    Kino''s lips twitched in a tiny smile, perhaps despite herself. Aymon took that as a victory.

    "So, as I was saying, I will not be teaching you that on a daily basis." At least not for now, he thought. "And, until you''re publicly announced as my apprentices, I can''t be dragging you along through my day either. That means that, for the next two weeks, you will be at Halen''s mercy."

    Yan stiffened immediately, as Aymon had expected she would. Sid simply looked confused.

    Halen took his cue to come over, and he stood behind the couch on which Aymon sat, looking down at the apprentices with a placid expression. "You''re heart''s beating like a drum, kid," Halen said, looking at Yan. "I''d think it''s obvious that I''m not here to hurt you."

    Yan''s lips were pressed tightly together, and she refused to look at his face, instead looking slightly over Sandreas''s shoulder.

    Sid''s hand crept out of his pocket, and in his lap he fingerspelled something too fast for Aymon to catch, directed at Yan. Aymon didn''t sign, but he knew the alphabet, if the person signing it went slow enough.

    "Halen is my personal assistant, something like my aide-de-camp, if he were in the Fleet. I trust him with my life. If he tells you to do something, consider it as though it were an order coming directly from me. Do you understand?"

    He waited until all three apprentices had mumbled some variation of ''yes'' before he continued.

    "Excellent. As long as you keep that in mind, you should have no problems." Although he wasn''t looking at Halen, Aymon knew he would be amused by that pronouncement. Aymon glanced at the clock. "Do you have any questions? I know this is all very abrupt, but I only have an hour before I need to meet with Admiral Vaalks, so if you don''t, I''d like to begin your first lesson quickly."

    "You''re coming?" Halen asked.

    "I figure a practical demonstration is warranted."

    Yan and Sid both looked like they had questions, but it seemed that Yan was not going to ask for the sake of time and politeness. Sid was not going to ask because Aymon looked him in the eye and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if the questions on the tip of Sid''s tongue (or the tip of his fingers, more natively) were actually relevant. He felt instinctively that Sid was much like his own younger self, and thus he had some handle on how to control him at this moment. It would probably get more difficult as time went on and Sid grew more used to the limits and freedoms of his role, but for this moment, a wily smile was an easy boundary to push and prod at, an easy, silent negotiation for them both to have.

    "Well, if there are no questions..."

    "Why doesn''t Yan like you?" Kino asked abruptly, staring at Halen. Sid twitched forward and looked at her. Apparently that had been the question that he was about to ask.

    "Oh, she didn''t already tell you?" Halen asked. Aymon knew that voice. It was the voice he used when he was smiling, with teeth. "I used to be a pirate, and she used to be a spacer. We''re natural enemies."

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    "It''s not ''used to be,''" Yan muttered, then bit her lip, looking down at her lap.

    "Oh, you''re not a spacer anymore," Halen said. "You haven''t been since you were hauled off to the Academy, and you certainly aren''t one now."

    Aymon wished they would drop the subject. He recognized the tone in Halen''s voice, a melancholy sound. They almost never talked seriously about Halen''s past, and it surprised Aymon that Halen was willing to be so immediately open with the apprentices.

    Yan had caught Halen''s change in tone too, because her face, which had been previously twisted and averted in a stifled anger and embarrassment, stilled, and she glanced at Halen for a second with involuntary sympathy rather than rancor. Then the mask was on again, and she looked at Aymon with a stiff smile.

    Aymon stood. "Let''s not waste time on the past," he said. "You''ll all have plenty of time to get to know each other, I''m sure." He headed out of his office, stopping in front of his secretary''s desk. "If Vaalks comes while I''m out, tell him I''ll be here as soon as I can." He began to leave again.

    "Of course, sir," Ms. Rosario said. "And I have a message for you from Guildmaster Vaneik."

    Aymon resisted the urge to sigh heavily, stopping in his tracks. "And what does he have to say?"

    "He says he''s looking forward to discussing the Olar situation with you at the Governor''s Dinner."

    "I''m sure he is," Aymon said.

    "Do you want to send a reply?"

    "How long until he''s out of contact range?"

    "Six hours."

    "Then I have until then to come up with an answer." He turned again and left for real this time, leading his apprentices like a row of ducklings down the hallways of Stonecourt. People he passed in the hallway were curious about the new apprentices, so even those who were well used to seeing Aymon around had a reason to stop and stare. In an otherwise unoccupied stairwell, Aymon said to his apprentices, "Don''t mind people around here. They''ll get used to you soon enough."

    "And," Halen said, his voice echoing off the concrete walls, "they have strict orders not to bother you, at least for now."

    There was no response from the three, focused on hustling to keep up with Aymon''s brisk pace down these hallways that were so unfamiliar to them. They made it to one of the sub basements of Stonecourt, and finally into the suite of training rooms that were kept down there. Halen used them, as did the elite security team that answered just to him, but that wasn''t a very large group of people. Right now, they were in the simplest room, a harshly lit, wide open space that could be used for target practice or for general recreation. Along the back wall where they had entered, there were tall locked cabinets full of equipment, and the opposite wall had targets set up.

    "I''ll let you take the lead here," Aymon said to Halen. "This is more your domain than mine."

    "Oh, and here I thought you had come to be helpful." Halen clapped his hands and looked at the apprentices. "Alright. Raise your hand if you''ve ever been in a situation that almost killed you." It was an abrupt change of tone, but Halen had never been one to waste time when there was work to be done.

    Only Kino raised her hand, and Yan seemed startled by it. "I was on Falmar," Kino said, by way of explanation, voice completely flat. "Does that count?"

    "It was a poorly phrased question. You''ve never been in a fight, though?"

    "Not one that would have killed me," Kino said with a shrug.

    "And you, Yan? Was the  Iron Dreams  ever attacked by those pirates you hate so much?" Halen smiled.

    "Before I was born," Yan said, looking steadfastly across the room, not directly at Halen.

    "Maybe it''s for the best that you don''t already have experience when it comes to survival," Halen said. "I won''t have to break any bad habits."

    "Bad habits?" Sid asked. "It would be pretty weird if any of us had made a habit of getting almost killed."

    "Maybe that was another poor choice of words on my part," Halen said, but didn''t clarify what he meant. "Let''s start with a bit of a quiz. If someone were attacking you, what would your first instinct be?"

    "What are they attacking me with? Where am I? What resources do I have?" Sid asked.

    Aymon pursed his lips, leaning back against one of the cabinets. "It''s a general hypothetical, Sid. Fight, flight, or freeze."

    "I''d take cover," Yan said, sounding thoughtful. "If I could. That would give me a second to think."

    Kino shook her head. "Better to just get out if you can."

    Sid crossed his arms and frowned. "You''re not going to have the opportunity to get out. Anyone who''s after you who''s smart would have blocked off the exits."

    "You''re not wrong," Halen said. "There are times when sheltering in place or running will be good options, but most of the time, they won''t be. If you pick bad cover, for example, you could end up entrenching yourself in an indefensible or inescapable position. If you try to run, you can run directly into someplace even worse than where you were. But, of course, if you give yourself the ability to fight back, and have tools ready to defend yourself with, running or hiding become more viable options."

    "Have any of you ever used the power to fight before?" Aymon asked.

    Yan and Kino both shook their heads no. It was Sid, of course, who had a clarifying question. "It depends on what you mean by fight, and use the power."

    With exaggerated patience, Aymon said, "Well?"

    Suddenly Sid seemed embarrassed, as though he remembered exactly where he was. His hands twitched a little, and he jammed them into his pockets. "I used to throw things at my siblings. Probably doesn''t count."

    "I''d say not," Halen said. "Since I assume you weren''t actually trying to hurt them."

    "The masters would punish anyone who was caught fighting with the power," Yan said. "You said they had a vested interest in students not being able to hurt each other."

    "I''m aware," Aymon said. "The power can be a deadly weapon, if you have the strength to use it that way."

    "You mean like stopping someone''s heart?" Sid asked. "We''re going to learn to do that?"

    "Do you want to learn how to do that?" Halen asked. It was a loaded question, and he stared directly at Sid, who, to his credit, did not flinch.

    "Has it ever mattered to a teacher if I wanted to learn something or not?" Sid shot back, a weird bitterness in the squint of his eyes.

    Silence fell for a second as Halen appraised Sid. "Did you ever try to use the power on someone else?"

    "Yeah. Of course I tried."

    "And what happened?"

    "Nothing." He had a defensive posture now, his arms crossed.

    Halen nodded. "I''m not surprised. Using the power on someone else''s body is the most difficult thing that you can do. Do they ever talk about that, at the Academy of yours?"

    "Only to tell people not to try it," Yan said. "I think a lot of people tried it and then decided that it was impossible."

    "It''s not impossible," Halen said. "Just very difficult. So much so that I doubt any of you will be able to do it for several years."

    Yan nodded and Kino was still, both apparently willing to accept that answer. Sid, on the other hand, pressed on. "Why not? It seems like, if we''re going to learn to defend ourselves, that should be the first thing we learn."

    Halen glanced at Aymon, a look Aymon knew well, a request for permission. Aymon gave an almost imperceptible nod. He didn''t know exactly what Halen was going to do, but perhaps it would be best if Sid learned this lesson now.

    "Did anyone ever explain to you why you shouldn''t try to use the power on someone else?" Halen asked. "Aside from the obvious answer that it''s difficult, and the Academy doesn''t want to give its students the tools to hurt each other."

    Sid shrugged. "I might not have been paying attention when they did."

    Halen continued as though Sid hadn''t said anything. "After all, there''s so many uses for it that aren''t even hurtful. Wouldn''t it be useful for someone with the power to be able to set a broken bone, for example? Or to be able to pull someone out of harm''s way? And I''m sure you can imagine the kinds of fun that the oldest Academy students might like to have." Sid laughed a little at that.

    Aymon inserted himself into the conversation. It would probably be easier to come at this from an academic angle that the three students understood well, rather than Halen''s instinctive understanding of how the power worked. "Kino, what''s the third precept?"

    She blinked in surprise, probably not expecting a theological quiz at that second, but she answered as second nature. "We are cloth woven from the same thread."

    "Yan, third verse of the Creation Canto."

    Yan closed her eyes as she strained to remember, tapping her hand against her side as she mentally fast-forwarded through the song to get to the third verse. When she did start singing, Aymon noted idly that she had a nice voice, full bodied and clear. "From the darkness woven, with the light entwined, each single human body, a piece of greater kind. The stars are not self-knowing, no heart or soul or mind. To us God gave the universe; to us God gave the light. To see as God does see us, to speak with the God¡¯s own voice, we recognize ourselves in the others that we find--"

    Aymon held up a hand for her to stop there. "Thank you. As the theology says, we are each a piece of the universe that has been given the divine spark of life. I''m sure you''ve been told to think of using the power as being able to exert your will onto the rest of the universe, thinking of it as an extension of yourself, correct?"

    Yan nodded, a contemplative look on her face. Sid was impatient, and Kino was merely listening.

    "That''s all well and good for inanimate objects, and it''s even a great way to think about how two people meditating together works. But the universe resists you enforcing your will on other sentient parts of itself. It''s a violation. It requires a strength of mind, and a willingness to completely overcome another person''s self."

    "Like rape," Kino said, voice very flat, as though that was a simple fact.

    "It''s a tool, like any other," Aymon said. "A hammer can be used to build, or it can be used to kill. The same is true of that use of the power. But you have to have the strength to do either, and the power will fight you."

    "I see that you still don''t get it," Halen said, looking at Sid. "Would you prefer a demonstration?"

    Sid looked as though he was trying very hard to keep his arrogant front up. "Sure."

    "Very well." Halen didn''t smile. Yan flinched back for some reason, though Halen hadn''t even done anything, and certainly wasn''t going to do anything to her. Sid''s face shifted suddenly, and his right arm, which had been folded across his chest, stretched out in front of him, palm up. He curled and uncurled his fingers slowly. "How does that feel?" Halen asked.

    "Weird," Sid said, mouth pressed into a thin line. His fingers kept moving, opening and closing his fist over and over. He tried to move his arm, pulling his shoulder back, but his arm was frozen in place in the air. "Let me go."

    Halen didn''t let him go for a second longer, enough to make Sid truly uncomfortable. "It takes a mental strength to learn a skill that would allow you to kill someone with so little as a thought."

    He let Sid''s arm go, and Sid looked at his hand and rubbed it, as if to make sure it really was his.

    "You''ll learn eventually," Aymon said. "But probably not for a while." Sid was shaken enough not to argue, as was Yan, who probably wouldn''t have argued anyway. Kino was the only one who was just nodding, seemingly unaffected by the demonstration.

    "We''ve wasted enough time on this tangent," Halen said, snapping back into his most professional demeanor. "My goal today is to get you up to the most basic level of self defense. Do any of you have experience with firearms?"

    "I do," Sid said. When Yan gave him a curious glance, he shrugged and said, "I lived on a farm. Shooting bottles is one of the only fun things to do on Galena."

    "Good." Halen glanced at the clock on the wall above the door. "You have to get going soon."

    "I can stay for another minute or two," Aymon said.

    "Alright, well, I suppose I''ll use you for the practical demonstration while I have you here, and I can go over basic gun safety when you leave." He turned back to the apprentices and fished through his pocket for a second, pulling out a rock a couple centimeters in diameter. He held it up for a second, then tossed it to Kino, who caught it deftly.

    "Kino, I want you to pretend like that rock is a bullet, and I want you to hit the target with it." He pointed across the room and moved out of Kino''s way so that she could use the power to throw the rock at the target. She gave it a good effort, hovering the rock in front of her face, then sending it speeding off faster than the eye could follow, until it hit the target with an audible thwap and fell to the ground.

    Halen summoned the rock back into his hand and tossed it up and down. "Good aim, and good try, but you don''t really have a sense of just how fast a bullet needs to move, do you?"

    "No," Kino said. "I could try again."

    "No need," Halen said. "In the future, we will actually practice that skill, but it would take a lot to overcome your intuition about how fast objects are ''supposed'' to move. It''s not worth trying now; it''s not the point." He turned to Yan. "And Yan, if I were to hand you a gun, right this second, would you be able to hit a target dead center?"

    "Probably not," she said. "I mean, with practice I could." She seemed happy to honestly answer direct questions, even if they came from Halen. That was good-- she was professional.

    "Exactly," Halen said. "You have two tools, and you don''t have the skill right now to use either of them to their full potential. So, right now, I''m going to teach you to cheat."

    "Cheat?" Sid asked, having regained some of his enthusiasm.

    "Aymon, if you would," Halen said.

    Aymon stepped forward and pulled his gun out of its holster, easily accessible through his cassock pocket. "Imagine a line of power that goes from the tip of the gun to the target." As he spoke, he used the power to draw such a line in the air by pulling the air into a dense shape, making a hazy distorted looking path across the room. It was for illustration purposes only. "What you need to do is create a power structure that will keep the bullet following that line. It''s easiest to make a tube that will nudge the bullet away from its edges. That way, even if your aim is off, your bullet will still end up where it needs to go. Look closely at where I''m aiming, off center, but I can fire and still hit."

    He brought the power up then, feeling it thrum in his mind, making the real power structure, and also did a quick deadening of the air around the gun, to make the shot near silent. He pulled the trigger. With barely a ''pop'', the bullet lept from the gun, the recoil familiar and easy to handle. It was over before he could even feel the twinges of his power structure adjusting the bullet''s course, and it hit dead center in the target, leaving a nice neat hole.

    "Exactly like that," Halen said. "You see how it works?"

    "What''s the power structure?" Yan asked. "Specifically."

    "Whatever you''re most comfortable with," Halen said. "I prefer turning the kinetic energy to heat, myself. But you can use whatever structure you like."

    Yan nodded, accepting that explanation.

    "Ideally, you want to be able to use the same structure to stop a bullet dead, as a kind of shield," Halen said. He walked a bit away from the group. "It would be superhuman to keep up a power structure like that at all times, though I wish that you could, but if you know you''re in a dangerous situation, you should surround yourself with that power structure. If your opponent isn''t doing anything sneaky, it will do a great deal to protect you."

    "Did you want to demonstrate that?" Aymon asked.

    "I trust you won''t actually try too hard to kill me," Halen said with a smile.

    "Of course not."

    Yan''s eyes narrowed as she listened to their mild banter, and Aymon wondered if he would need to explicitly tell his apprentices the nature of his relationship with Halen. It wasn''t exactly their business, but they probably would need to know, at least enough to know to keep their mouths shut. "You ready?" Aymon asked.

    "I''m always ready."

    He smiled as he aimed the gun at Halen, who was holding his arms slightly out from his sides, palms forward and fingers splayed. He was an easy target, but Aymon had no worry that he would accidentally hurt him. He fired the gun again, still dampening the sound, but this time relying only on his own aim. The shot was true, but when the bullet was about a meter in front of Halen, it stopped dead and clattered to the floor, the tip faintly glowing. It was over faster than the eye or mind could process. Aymon holstered his gun.

    His apprentices seemed focused on Halen and the bullet on the floor, no longer looking at Aymon.

    "You want a power structure like that," Halen was saying, "because an individual bullet moves too fast for you to catch it with your attention..."

    Aymon smiled at Halen, tapped his wrist to indicate the time. Halen smiled back, but didn''t stop his monologue to the apprentices. Aymon slipped out the door, leaving the lesson to proceed without him.

 All of Us Pirates Would Have Been Martyrs - Part One

    All of Us Pirates Would Have Been Martyrs - Part One

    Yan was exhausted by the time that Halen finally let the three apprentices go. If she hadn''t been nurturing a quiet and confusing hatred of him inside her heart, it might have been a less trying time, not having to attempt to keep her face still, trying to obey orders that felt wrong only because they were coming from the wrong type of person. Halen clearly knew that Yan was struggling, though, to his credit, he didn''t single her out for special annoyances when teaching the three of them to handle a gun.

    The most interesting part of the day had come when Halen had shown the three apprentices a kind of simulation room, a place that almost hummed with a sense of being full of the power. In it, Halen showed how the room could create a replica of anything that was programmed into it, including automatons of people. He indicated that he would make the three apprentices use it to practice fighting against moving targets.

    At the end of the day, Halen took a good long look at the three of them, least moderately more well versed in the use of guns, and said, "Good. It''s a start, at least."

    None of them were the type to react well to that faint praise-- Yan because of who it was coming from, Kino because she seemed to hardly react to anything, and Sid because his pride prevented him from doing so. Halen seemed to understand this and laughed at them as he dismissed them. "We''re done for the day. If you want dinner, there''s a staff cafeteria two floors up and down the left hallway. Can''t miss it."

    The three apprentices stumbled out of the simulation room past him and he watched them go then left in the other direction. Yan felt his power moving through the air, though, following them as they left. It put a shiver down her spine and she tried to ignore it.

    The cafeteria that Halen had directed them to was a clean and bright place, decently populated with uniformed Stonecourt staff of various types. The three apprentices didn''t really blend in, but no one bothered them, and they all got dinner on trays at the long serving counter, then sat down. The cafeteria was furnished with stiff plastic, colorful and utilitarian, that made it look about two decades out of date. Yan practically crammed her burger into her mouth as soon as she sat down, having just realized how hungry she was. They hadn''t had lunch, and time in the sub basement gyms had seemed as squishy as it often was aboard ships. There was no sense of how much of it had passed.

    "What did you think of that?" Yan asked, once she had eaten enough that she could think straight. She put down her burger and wiped off her hands so that she could try to sign for the benefit of Sid.

    He rolled his eyes at her and signed, "No point in signing when she--" he jerked his head at Kino-- "is here."

    "Just trying to be polite," Yan signed back.

    He grinned at her. "You''re too nice for me."

    "What are you saying?" Kino asked.

    "You''ll just have to learn sign," Sid said aloud, leaning back in his chair, propping his legs up on the seat next to Kino. "It''s a superior language."

    Yan tried to get the conversation back under control. "Do you two like Halen?"

    "I will listen to what he has to say," Kino said, which was a measured response if Yan had ever heard one.

    "He seems fine. Scary, though."

    "He''s trying to scare you to make you listen," Kino said. "He thinks you''re too impulsive."

    "Who, me?" Sid asked. Even if his expression screamed innocent, his general attitude was anything but.

    Kino took his question as one deserving of an actual response. "Yes, you. They noticed the way you were acting."

    "And what way was I acting?" Sid was getting a kick out of attempting to rile up Kino in the same way that he had tried to push Sandreas and Halen''s buttons. Yan couldn''t tell if Kino was falling for it, or if she was playing her own game. She seemed calm.

    "You were trying to figure out how much power they''ll let you have when you talk to them," Kino said, even tone and placid expression, looking somewhere out over the top of Yan''s head. "They won''t let you have real power. That''s why Halen had to show you that he could hurt you."

    Sid wrinkled his nose. Some of the fun had gone out of the exchange, since Kino was being serious. "So?"

    "You should be more careful," Kino said. "Be less obvious."

    "But I like being obvious," Sid said. "I''ve never understood the point of being subtle."

    "Kino''s probably right," Yan said. "I''m not going to try to make them mad."

    "You''re taking her side?"

    "I''m not-- it''s not-- ugh." Yan gave up and shook her head. "At least let us get used to the apprenticeship before you start purposefully annoying our boss."

    "He didn''t seem that annoyed," Sid said.

    "Well, don''t push your luck too hard. At least not until we learn more about what they''re actually like."

    "Why do you want to push them?" Kino asked.

    Sid shrugged, seemingly unable or unwilling to answer the question.

    "I guess I understand," Yan said. "It''s good to know what the rules are. If you don''t know right away, you have to experiment to find out..." She trailed off and ate some fries. "I guess I can just get ready to watch you get in trouble when you do something stupid."

    Sid made a rude gesture.

    "Hey, you''d better cut that out," Yan cautioned. "We need to have a professional image."

    "Not until we''re actually in charge. That will be when I can start worrying about being a professional."

    "You think you''ll be in charge?" Kino asked, appraising Sid.

    "You think you''re going to be competition for me?" Sid leaned forward abruptly, and Yan shoved his shoulder back to stop him from getting ketchup on his cassock.

    "It''s not a competition," Yan said.

    "Only one of us can be First," Kino said, then took a sip of her soda as though that wasn''t something that Yan had been avoiding thinking about at all costs. She didn''t want to know what happened to the two apprentices who did not succeed at becoming the next leader of the Empire. It seemed like a dangerous thing to think about.

    "It''s too early to say things like that," Yan said, trying to diffuse the tension that was between Kino and Sid, with Sid glaring hard at the calm Kino across the table.

    "What would you be like as a leader?" Kino asked.

    This was a startling change of topic, which left Yan floundering for a second. "I don''t know," she admitted. "I don''t know the first thing about leadership. I guess that''s what an apprenticeship is for. I... I just hope I can solve problems, keep the Empire running, not make people mad..." She smashed a fry between her fingers, then wiped them off on a napkin, troubled by Kino''s question. She didn''t know how to answer it, and she felt like that was a failure, that Kino was maybe looking for something specific.

    "I think my first priority would be to increase colonization," Sid said. "Everybody likes more planets. And I''d get rid of pirates, just for you." He grinned at Yan.

    When Sid mentioned colonization, Kino''s face had a minute change, like there was some kind of visceral negative reaction that she was trying to stifle. Her hands were under the table, but her cassock sleeve was stretched in such a way that it was clear she was tugging on it hard, almost ripping it apart.

    Yan remembered something that Kino had said earlier, something that had left her mind over the intense training session that Halen had put them through. "You were on Falmar, you said?"

    "Yes." Kino didn''t look at Yan.

    "I''m sorry."

    "I lived," Kino said.

    "What was it like?" Sid asked.

    Kino''s gaze snapped to him, and he flinched back at the unexpected intensity of it. "Why do you want to know?"

    He splayed his hands and shrugged. "Just curious."

    "I was six. My mother took my father to the doctor in town, and neither of them ever came back. We had to go to Hanathue. Is that what you wanted?"

    "I''m sorry," Sid said, with a seemingly genuine apologetic expression.

    "It''s fine. I lived." Kino turned to Yan. "Your family''s ship, were they there?"

    Yan felt guilty when she answered, even though she had also only been six at the time. "No, we were doing mining runs. I don''t think we would have even heard of what the Guild was doing until it was already over."

    "Oh. I think it was the  Promise of Fortune  that I was on."

    Yan wracked her brain. "That''s the Astreya family, right?"

    Kino shrugged. "I don''t remember."

    "I''m glad that the Guild was able to help," Yan said. "You aren''t mad at First Sandreas for that, are you?"

    "Why would she be mad at Sandreas?" Sid asked.

    "Because he was the one who ordered Falmar into quarantine. The Guild broke it when they took people out," Yan explained. "I guess not everybody knows that whole story."

    "Only the Guild really talks about it," Kino said. "It was a long time ago."

    Sid narrowed his eyes. "Are you mad, then?"

    Kino didn''t answer for a long second. "I''m glad that I was not responsible for condemning a planet to death."

    Yan nodded. If the plague had spread along with the refugees off of Falmar, it could have killed the entire population of Hanathue, and a good chunk of the Guild along with it. The Guild had taken that risk, but Sandreas had made the opposite calculation.

    Yan shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s his job to make difficult decisions.¡±

    Kino looked at Yan. ¡°And when it¡¯s your job?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be so intense,¡± Sid said. ¡°We literally just started. Give us a chance to get used to the concept, at least.¡±

    Kino didn¡¯t say anything in response to that. Yan was torn between the two of them. On one hand, she agreed with Sid that she didn¡¯t have the qualifications or information to have that kind of weight hanging over her head. On the other hand, though, Kino was right that this was going to be their job, and they should start thinking about the worst case scenarios as soon as they could. Then again, it¡¯s easy to think something ahead of time, and change at the last minute. Yan put a halt to that train of thought before she gave herself a headache. Sid was right, she couldn¡¯t think about that kind of responsibility now.

    After a moment of awkward silence, Yan changed the topic. ¡°Did you have a good summer?¡±

    ¡°It was fine,¡± Sid said. ¡°My family¡¯s annoying, though.¡±

    ¡°What about you, Kino?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°I stayed at the Academy. I was a ward of the school until I came of age, so they let me stay over the summers.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said, unsure of how to respond. She felt like if she had known that Kino had nowhere to go, she would have invited her to the  Iron Dreams  with Sylva. Of course, that was too late now, and she had barely known Kino at all before, probably not enough to make extending such an invitation a socially acceptable thing to do. Still, she felt bad that Kino had been at the Academy by herself. ¡°That must have been kinda lonely.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Kino shrugged. ¡°There was one interesting thing that happened.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Yan asked.

    Kino pulled her phone out of her pocket, flicked through it for a second, and slid it across the table towards Yan and Sid.

    Her old text message history was displayed on the screen, these particular messages being to and from ¡°1st S¡±, which Yan assumed was Sandreas. The image at the top of the messages was hard to understand at first, but as Yan studied it, she recognized the top of one of the desks that came standard in Academy apartments, on top of which were several small¡­ She couldn¡¯t quite tell. They were round black things, with a shiny spot at the front, with a short wire sticking out behind. Each of them was about the size of Kino¡¯s fingernail, and her hand was pinching one.

    The message below the image said, ¡°I request that you respect my privacy, please.¡±

    And the reply from Sandreas read, ¡°Acknowledged.¡±

    ¡°What are those?¡± Sid asked.

    Kino slipped her phone back into her pocket. ¡°Cameras.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re from¡­?¡± Yan asked, not quite wanting to say anything out loud in this crowded dining hall, aware suddenly that she was definitely being watched by someone.

    ¡°Yes. In my room.¡±

    Sid frowned deeply, a troubling change from his usual jauntiness. He turned to Yan and signed, ¡°In my house?¡±

    ¡°Maybe?¡± Yan shrugged helplessly.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell us this before?¡± Sid demanded of Kino.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have your off planet contacts over the summer.¡±

    ¡°Why are you telling us now?¡±

    ¡°If I didn¡¯t, I would be complicit.¡±

    That answer didn¡¯t seem to sit well with Sid for some reason. He clenched his fist. ¡°And are those in our new place?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°So what should we do about this?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what you do.¡± And with that, Kino began gathering her belongings and standing, the conversation over, now that she had no more information to impart. Yan was grateful to Kino for the warning that she should be aware of being watched, but she, like Sid, had no idea what to do with that information. She would just keep an eye out, she supposed.

    As the three apprentices left the cafeteria and navigated their way towards the staff entrance of Stonecourt, Yan realized that this conversation had provided her with more questions than answers. What did Sandreas hope to learn from spying on his students? How much information had he gathered on her, and what did he think about it? How had Kino found the cameras? Kino had said that she didn¡¯t have Yan or Sid¡¯s off planet contact information, but not that she didn¡¯t have an ansible card-- an odd statement that had placed hooks in Yan¡¯s brain. It was a whole box of unpleasant mysteries that had just been opened, and Yan took each thought, examined it, and then shut it away until she felt more prepared to think about it.

    They made it outside of Stonecourt, into the thick late summer night air. It had rained while they had been indoors, but the sky was clear now, revealing the last dredges of sunlight on the horizon and the first flicker of stars above. The staff entrance of Stonecourt was a guarded gate in the wrought iron fence, and the three apprentices left together, starting out underneath the just-illuminated streetlamps.

    ¡°Yan!¡± a familiar voice called as they emerged. Across the street, standing up from where she had been sitting on a bench, Sylva was frantically waving at Yan. Kino stopped, though Sid plowed on, somewhat oblivious, until Kino caught his arm. He must not have been employing whatever mechanism he used to understand spoken speech at just that moment. Sylva crossed the street at a jog, hardly looking both ways and causing a car to come to a slightly affronted stop.

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t expect to see you here,¡± Yan said. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you text me?¡±

    ¡°I figured I¡¯d surprise you at the end of your first day of work,¡± Sylva said.

    ¡°You know Kino and Sid, right? This is Sylva Calor, my friend from the Academy.¡± Sylva was, of course, aware of Kino and Sid. Yan tried to put an inflection in her voice that cautioned Sylva not to be rude to the other two apprentices.

    Kino nodded and Sid smiled. ¡°We had Master Katrin¡¯s sculpture class together,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°Ha, I¡¯d forgotten about that,¡± Sylva said. ¡°Yeah.¡± She looked at Sid and Kino as though she wanted them to vanish. ¡°Hey, you want to get dinner?¡±

    Yan felt slightly helpless. ¡°I just ate,¡± she said. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± Sylva¡¯s disappointment couldn¡¯t have been clearer. ¡°And you¡¯re going with them?¡±

    ¡°We were just going back to our apartments,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Am I interrupting something?¡±

    ¡°No, no!¡± Yan said. She didn¡¯t want Sylva to feel ignored. ¡°I just didn¡¯t know you were coming. I wouldn¡¯t have eaten already if I had known.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±

    This conversation was horribly awkward. Kino seemed unaware of the tension in the exchange, and was just staring absentmindedly up at the sky. Sid, though, had his eyes on Yan, looking at her as though he wanted something from her. Yan had no idea what that could be.

    ¡°Look, sorry for abandoning you guys,¡± Yan said to Kino and Sid. ¡°But do you mind if I¡­?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to help me find the cameras?¡± Sid signed to her. ¡°I get it.¡±

    Sylva narrowed her eyes. ¡°What are you saying?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯ll help you later, Sid. Or Kino can.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s not as fun as you are,¡± Sid signed. He clearly enjoyed the fact that Sylva didn¡¯t understand what he was saying, and that it made her frustrated. Yan didn¡¯t like this. She hated feeling split between her oldest friend and her new coworkers.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to hang out with me--¡± Sylva said.

    ¡°No, I do,¡± Yan tried, feeling pathetic. ¡°I have to¡­¡±

    Sid grinned at her. ¡°Let¡¯s go Kino. Yan apparently has more important things to do than hang out with us.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± Yan said, but Sid was already traipsing off down the street, with Kino in tow. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow,¡± she called after them, but neither of them turned back towards her.

    Sylva had her hands on her hips. ¡°You could be more assertive. Don¡¯t let them push you around.¡±

    ¡°I am being assertive,¡± Yan said. ¡°Are you mad at me?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sylva said, but that was the most obvious lie in the world.

    ¡°Do you want to get a coffee or something?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Fine,¡± Sylva said.

    It was a stiff and awkward silence that descended upon them as they walked through the gathering dark of Yora streets, Sylva half a step ahead of Yan. There was none of Sylva¡¯s usual lively conversation to distract Yan from her thoughts. So much had happened during the day, she was unable to focus on one thing, jumping from one instinct to the next with every footstep she took. In an effort to calm herself, Yan tried to clear her mind and time her breathing and steps, sinking into a quasi meditative state. Her power rose up around her, coming easily to the surface as it always had, and she spread it out in an ever expanding bubble around herself, passing through the air and the trees and the parked cars that lined the street.

    Connecting with the universe in this way felt peaceful to Yan. She enjoyed the sense of losing herself, and finding the light of life in the people around her. There was the bright flare of Sylva, just a step ahead as she always was. All around, through the buildings and the street, there were strangers passing by unaware. Yan¡¯s power passed over them and through them, out in a bubble until her concentration could stretch it no further, and then pulled back into herself. She repeated this exercise several times as she walked, like a stretch that cleared her mind of her personal concerns and replaced it with simple awareness.

    She became aware, after several minutes and turns, that one of the presences she felt was following her, or at least going in the same direction for an improbably long time. This realization broke her concentration, and she lost the pleasant sense of being one with the universe. It was replaced with growing paranoia, and she kept glancing back over her shoulder, stumbling a little each time, as though her pursuer would be stupid enough to show themself. It was likely, of course, that whoever was following her had been sent by Sandreas, but that knowledge didn¡¯t calm her anxiety any.

    Sylva noticed Yan¡¯s change in gait and stopped. ¡°What¡¯s the matter with you?¡± Sylva asked.

    Yan shook her head, not wanting to worry her best friend. ¡°Nothing, I¡¯m just tired. A lot happened today.¡±

    Even as she and Sylva found a cafe to sit down in, and they both had a coffee (and a sandwich for Sylva), Yan couldn¡¯t shake the sense of wrongness, and it carried through into her conversation, spoiling it and making Sylva annoyed with her. It felt even worse when they had to part, with Sylva walking off towards her own apartment in a different part of the city, leaving Yan on her own to return to her new place.

    They had never lived apart from each other since meeting, so it felt new and terrible for Yan to say goodbye and watch Sylva go. It was like negotiating a whole new relationship between them, to which there were rules that Yan didn¡¯t understand and didn¡¯t know how to learn.

    <hr>

    The next morning, Yan woke up long before her alarm, perhaps because she was unused to the empty silence and size of her new apartment. It was a nice place, well furnished and very secure, with a secret room hidden in her closet that she presumed was for use in emergencies or for keeping important documents safe.

    She knew she wasn¡¯t going to be able to fall back asleep, so, rather than staring blankly at the ceiling and wasting her time, Yan decided that she should do something useful. Her first thought was to find the cameras that were probably hidden somewhere in her apartment, but after scouring the place top to bottom, she found no evidence of them. This forced her to conclude that either the Imperial security who had bugged her apartment were better at hiding things than she was at finding them, or that Sandreas had had his fill of spying on his apprentices. The first seemed markedly more likely, which was an uncomfortable thought.

    By time she had finished pulling apart every nook and cranny of her apartment, Yan had worked herself up into a real hunger, and the sun was finally coming up over the horizon, peeking past the buildings of Yora and into her large living room window. She didn¡¯t have food in the fridge (she hadn¡¯t yet had a chance to go grocery shopping after moving in) so she resigned herself to leaving and finding breakfast at a coffee shop. She would have time to loiter and still make it to Stonecourt on time for another round of ¡°training¡± or whatever she was about to face today.

    The morning was chilly and damp, the first smells of autumn in the air. Still, it was invigorating, and Yan¡¯s worries about Sylva and her awkwardness from the night before fled her mind as she tramped along the sidewalk.

    She muttered a morning prayer under her breath. ¡°Oh God who splits the night from the day¡­¡± Out of prayerful habit more than anything, she sent her power out around herself once again, feeling the different tang of the morning air sing in her awareness. There were fewer people out at this time of day than there had been the night before, which only made the follower she had more obvious.

    She wasn¡¯t surprised that someone was on her tail, but she was moderately annoyed and wondered if there was anything she could do about it. The walk had invigorated her, and she felt like she had absorbed some of Sid¡¯s willingness to push back against her new boss, as well as some of Kino¡¯s clear paranoia.

    Yan came to the coffee shop she had been aiming for, and she stepped inside, jingling the bell over the door. It was still a little early for the morning breakfast rush, so there were only a few people in the store. The employee manning the counter looked up as she came in, taking note of Yan¡¯s uniform cassock. People dressed in her uniform weren¡¯t exactly a rare sight around Yora, but they weren¡¯t exactly common, either, especially the further one got from the Academy itself. Before she went up to the counter, Yan took a glance out the store window and cast her power out, hoping to catch a glimpse of her pursuer. No such luck, as the person was behind a brick wall from her, in the alley next to the building, probably with some kind of eyes on the entrance to watch Yan as she came out. Subtle, but annoying.

    Yan ordered a coffee and bagel, then sat down at a table near the window, nibbling her breakfast and thinking. She wondered if her follower knew that Yan knew they were there. On one hand, Yan had been casting her power out, which she figured a sensitive would feel. But, on the other hand, her follower might not be a sensitive, and Yan had been pretty fastidious about not looking over her shoulder like she was being followed. She had tried to act normally.

    If, she thought, her watcher didn¡¯t know that Yan was purposefully trying to escape, she might be able to get away. Well, it was worth a try, anyway.

    Yan finished her bagel, then went back up to the counter. ¡°Do you have a bathroom?¡± she asked. ¡°And, uh, sorry if this is weird, but can I have a bag?¡±

    The woman gave her a long look, then handed her a paper bag for takeout orders and directed her to the back of the shop, where there was a single stall bathroom. Yan wasted no time in pulling off her cassock and cape, leaving her dressed in a crisp white button down and black slacks. Still pretty visible, but certainly less than the cassock. She folded her discarded clothes neatly and jammed them inside the bag. She considered if there was anything else she could do to change her appearance, but, looking in the rather dingy mirror, she decided that there wasn¡¯t. It wasn¡¯t as though she had enough hair to change the style of it, nor did she have makeup or glasses to put on or off.

    Yan sent out another pulse of power. Her tail was still waiting in the same spot outside the restaurant. Excellent. She pushed open the bathroom door quietly, then looked both ways to see if any of the employees of this place were observing her. They weren¡¯t.

    Further back in the cafe, past the bathroom, was the kitchen, partially obscured by flapping plastic strips dangling from the doorframe, and humming with the sound of an industrial fan. Yan took a steadying deep breath, then pushed her way through the plastic flaps, into the humid kitchen area. She was in luck; the back exit was propped open with a chair, with the fan vainly trying to cycle cool outside air into the hot kitchen.

    No one paid her any mind as she walked as confidently as she could through the kitchen, then out the back door, ending up in the alley opposite from where her tail was waiting. She hustled through the alley, resisting the urge to break into a run. There was no need to call attention to herself.

    It felt liberating to have freed herself from her spy, but constantly checking if they had returned put her into even more of a paranoid mood. She worried that, since they may have been set on her for her own protection, she might be in some kind of danger. She also worried that someone would be mad at her for the trick she was playing. But then again, she had been alone in Yora so many times and nothing bad had ever happened to her. Besides, this trick would never work again, she was sure, so she might as well try to enjoy it while she could.

    Yan made a long looping circle, going in the wrong direction for several blocks, then turning towards Stonecourt, but walking around it in a wide radius in order to approach it from the ¡°wrong¡± direction. By the time she eventually made it to the staff entrance in the back, she was worn out from her several kilometers of brisk walking. It was lucky that she had taken her cassock off, since she would have been very sweaty had she kept it on.

    When she made it through the security checkpoint, though, Yan realized that the jig was up. Halen was waiting for her in the staff entrance lobby, leaning against the wall with a smile. Even though he was dressed only in a dark suit, Stonecourt staff recognized him and gave him a wide berth. Yan tried to avoid him, too. As soon as she saw him, she tried to duck away down a different hallway, but Halen followed her.

    ¡°Ms. BarCarran,¡± he said as he came up behind her. He was clearly amused. ¡°I would be very grateful if you would accompany me.¡±

    ¡°What do you want?¡± Yan asked, turning to face him. She would have crossed her arms, but she had her bag of cassock tucked underneath her armpit.

    ¡°I think it would be nice to get better acquainted with Aymon¡¯s apprentices, since we¡¯re going to be working so closely together.¡±

    Yan didn¡¯t see a way out, so she said, ¡°Fine.¡±

    Halen smiled widely and put his heavy hand on her shoulder, steering her down the hallway. After a while, they left the interior of Stonecourt, and Halen led her into the courtyard that she had glimpsed outside of Sandreas¡¯s office window the day before. It was a cleverly designed place, with trees and hedges positioned in a quasi maze, restricting sightlines. With the cheerful morning twittering of birds and the burble of distant fountains, the place seemed much larger than it was in actuality.

    Halen sat down on a stone bench with a tree at his back. He took up a shocking amount of bench space, and he gestured for Yan to take a seat next to him, which she reluctantly did. He folded his hands across his lap, and Yan noticed for the first time that he was wearing a plain gold band on his ring finger. Halen didn¡¯t say anything for a long minute and just stared up through the leaves of the tree.

    Finally, just as the silence was growing unbearable for Yan, he spoke. ¡°Did you enjoy your walk this morning?¡±

    Yan wished immediately that he had not spoken. ¡°It was fine,¡± she muttered.

    ¡°There are easier routes to take to Stonecourt, you know. The reason you¡¯re in the apartment you are is because it¡¯s a straight line, less than a kilo.¡±

    ¡°I wanted to get a coffee,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I see. And then you wanted to walk all the way down to Terlin street, which is about a kilo and a half out of the way.¡±

    Yan let out a frustrated huff of breath. ¡°Stop watching where I go.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s for your own safety,¡± Halen said. ¡°Your escort called me in a panic, you know.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not my problem.¡± She was being a little too rude. She should tone it down. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    Halen laughed. ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize. I¡¯ll admit I¡¯m a little impressed that you got away.¡±

    ¡°You still knew where I was.¡±

    ¡°My friend, if you want to avoid being tracked, you might want to leave your phone at home.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not friends,¡± Yan said, but that was more to cover up the stupid feeling of that blatant oversight.

    ¡°It will be a long five years if we aren¡¯t.¡± He sounded somewhat melancholy about this. ¡°I¡¯m certainly willing to be, you know.¡±

    ¡°I find it hard to believe that I could be friends with a pirate,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t been a pirate for more than twenty years,¡± Halen said. ¡°It would be very difficult for me to claim to be one now.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s in your blood,¡± Yan said. ¡°Literally, I mean.¡±

    Halen chuckled. ¡°You can hardly hold what my parents did to me in the womb against me, can you? It¡¯s hardly their fault for wanting a strong child.¡±

    ¡°I thought that only natural children could have the power,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Clearly, that is not the case. But you wouldn¡¯t hear about pirates with the power, would you? And genetic modification is illegal, for the most part, so you don¡¯t hear about that, either¡­¡± He shrugged.

    ¡°Are there other pirates with the power?¡±

    ¡°Almost certainly. You know how there¡¯s a higher than average incidence of spacers with the power; I¡¯m sure pirates do the same.¡±

    Yan felt the tips of her ears heat up in half-embarrassment at that. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    Halen looked at her and raised an eyebrow. ¡°You know something about that?¡±

    ¡°My uncle paid for my mother to¡­ you know.¡± Yan said. ¡°Buy genetic material. For me.¡±

    Halen laughed. ¡°So, we have something else in common then. Test tube babies, the both of us.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m natural,¡± Yan said. ¡°Not-- they didn¡¯t mess with my genes.¡±

    ¡°Natural adjacent, maybe,¡± Halen said. ¡°There¡¯s no shame in it.¡±

    ¡°I suppose,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Any idea who your father is?¡±

    ¡°Someone with the power, I¡¯d assume,¡± Yan said. ¡°Which narrows it down a lot. But other than that, no, I don¡¯t know, and I don¡¯t want to find out.¡±

    Halen nodded. ¡°Probably a good choice.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t really matter,¡± Yan said, scuffing the ground with her heel.

    ¡°You¡¯re right. You have your family.¡± Halen was silent for a long second. ¡°Mind if I ask what your family is like?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m curious about Aymon¡¯s apprentices. And I¡¯m curious about you the most because we have some things in common.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t,¡± Yan insisted. ¡°Being a spacer is nothing like being a pirate.¡±

    ¡°Tell me about it, then.¡±

    Yan scowled. ¡°I don¡¯t know. What is there to know? I lived on the  Iron Dreams , my mother raised me until she died, then my uncle and his wife took me in. Then I went to the Academy. I know how to fly shuttles and dogfighters; I know how to work in the greenhouse; I can do repairs, spacewalks¡­; I got to jump the ship this summer.¡± She couldn¡¯t help the twinge of pride that entered her voice at that. The fact that her cousin and captain had entrusted her with the responsibility to use the precious and dangerous stardrive, to jump the entire ship and crew across space, that had been a real joy.

    ¡°Good job,¡± Halen said. ¡°It¡¯s too bad you have the power.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°If my captain had let any of my cousins fly the ship at your age, they probably would have been on track to be captain,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Did you ever think about that?¡±

    ¡°Sometimes,¡± Yan said. ¡°I mean, if I was frustrated at the Academy, I¡¯d think about leaving every once in a while. Daydreams, mostly.¡±

    Halen nodded. ¡°Would you have wanted to be captain?¡±

    Yan stared out across the courtyard, watching some birds dive over the rows of hedges. ¡°Probably,¡± she said. ¡°But it doesn¡¯t matter now.¡±

    ¡°I figured I might have been captain of my ship, one day,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°What ship were you on?¡±

    ¡°It was called the  Bluebeetle .¡±

    ¡°Was?¡±

    ¡°It was destroyed, years ago. Before I came to work for Aymon.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said, the words slipping out before she could stop them. She really was sorry; she couldn¡¯t imagine what it would be like to think of the  Iron Dreams  being destroyed. It was too much to imagine.

    ¡°As am I,¡± Halen said. ¡°I miss it, even today.¡±

    ¡°What happened to it?¡±

    ¡°It was hunted down, by the Fleet.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± The Fleet rarely bothered hunting pirate ships, and this was a major point of contention with the Guild, who considered that was the Fleet not doing their due diligence to protect free trade within the Empire.

    ¡°Well, we were manufacturing stardrives,¡± Halen said, very blase. ¡°That could hardly be allowed to continue.¡±

    The world narrowed to a point in Yan¡¯s vision, that same panic she had first felt when Halen appeared in the restaurant rising up in her chest again. ¡° You  were making stardrives?¡±

    Halen laughed at her obvious discomfort. ¡°That¡¯s another reason why you don¡¯t hear about many pirates who are sensitives. Most of them get themselves killed trying to do exactly that. But yes, I was making stardrives.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to describe the process to you,¡± Halen said. He studied her for a second. ¡°You might be able to do it. But I wouldn¡¯t want you to try.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t,¡± Yan said. ¡°I promise I won¡¯t. Don¡¯t tell me how.¡±

    He shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t expect you to ever need to. You could figure it out if you looked.¡±

    Yan shook her head. ¡°If I was able to do it, the stardrive makers would have offered me an apprenticeship.¡±

    Halen¡¯s lips quirked up a little. ¡°Perhaps,¡± he said.

    ¡°How did you survive, if your ship was destroyed?¡± Yan asked, trying to deflect away from herself.

    Halen sighed. ¡°It¡¯s a long story. I might tell you all of it someday. But the short version is that I was on a shuttle, far away. I was actually making a stardrive at the time. My family would drop me off in the middle of nowhere, so that I couldn¡¯t destroy the ship if I messed up, and they¡¯d come and get me a week or so later. When they didn¡¯t show up¡­¡± He shrugged.

    ¡°Were you near a station or something?¡±

    Halen¡¯s mouth pressed into a thin line. ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°I really was in the middle of nowhere. And I ran out of food.¡±

    Yan tilted her head, curious. Shuttles weren¡¯t capable of interstellar travel, so, to have survived, Halen must have been found, if not by his own ship, then by someone else. ¡°Was there someone else looking for you?¡±

    ¡°Eventually, yes. But not then. The Fleet thought that their stardrive maker had been destroyed when they destroyed the  Bluebeetle , I believe.¡±

    ¡°Then how¡­¡± Yan trailed off.

    ¡°I had been making a stardrive at the time,¡± Halen said, voice somewhat wistful. ¡°I was able to get it to jump.¡±

    Again, Yan tried to stifle the immediate fear reaction that she felt in her gut. She couldn¡¯t really picture it, herself, alone in the middle of space, just on a shuttle with a stardrive. Shuttles weren¡¯t capable of doing the computing that jumping a ship required. Shuttles weren¡¯t physically designed to jump like ships were. Stardrives¡­ Yan had no idea how one could make a stardrive work without the intricate interplay of computer and ship and navigator that jumps usually required. It terrified her, to have Halen discuss this-- what seemed like a miracle outside of her comprehension-- so casually. She tried not to let it show on her face or in her voice. ¡°That¡¯s very impressive.¡±

    ¡°What are you afraid of?¡± Halen asked suddenly.

    The fear twisted in her gut. ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± she lied.

    He looked at her. ¡°You¡¯re not a good liar.¡±

    ¡°How would you know?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t give away all my secrets yet, Yan,¡± Halen said with a slight smile. ¡°You could ask Aymon.¡±

    Yan frowned. ¡°How much have you been spying on me?¡±

    ¡°Some,¡± Halen said. ¡°The watcher was for your own protection.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m capable of protecting myself.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d say I¡¯ll believe that when I see it, but I think that you¡¯d be compelled to demonstrate. I don¡¯t really advise you trying to get away from your escort again.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like not seeing who¡¯s watching me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll meet her soon enough,¡± Halen said. ¡°I figured I should give you a chance to get settled before introducing new people into your life. How did you realize you were being followed, by the way?¡±

    ¡°I like to meditate,¡± Yan said. ¡°I was just casting my power out randomly, and noticed that the same person was behind me for too long.¡±

    He laughed. ¡°Effective, if lucky,¡± he said. ¡°How¡¯s your range?¡±

    ¡°Bigger in space,¡± Yan said.

    His mouth turned up in a smile. ¡°Isn¡¯t it always?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to tell you what my range is, so you can have my follower stay just outside it.¡±

    ¡°I would never do such a thing,¡± Halen said, but he was obviously joking. ¡°You can have your secrets, too, Yan. I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll both find out a lot about each other soon enough.¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡±

    Halen stood from the bench and stretched, his huge form blocking out the sun, and the ring glinting on his finger. ¡°We should head back inside. It¡¯s about time to get started with your training.¡±

 The City on the Hill

    The City on the Hill

    The first few weeks of Yan¡¯s apprenticeship flew by. Halen was indefatigable when it came to teaching the three apprentices, and so their actual days of training were so long and exhausting that, when they were over, Yan could do little more than eat dinner, then fall asleep as soon as she got back to her apartment. She usually made it all the way to her bed, and she was usually able to take off her uniform cassock and cape, but there were days when she sat down on the couch after coming in the door, and woke up five or six hours later, with a horrible kink in her neck and absolutely zero memory of falling asleep.

    She felt pretty bad about this, because Sylva often texted her at night, asking how her day had been, and Yan only ever got back to her in the morning, reading her messages back over the bowl of dry cereal she ate piece by piece with her fingers. Some of Sylva¡¯s messages had an air of desperation to them that Yan felt bad about. While Yan spent nearly all of her time with Kino and Sid, though she wasn¡¯t sure she could call them friends, they were at least peers. Sylva was adjusting to life in the IKRB offices where she and her mentor-- a strange woman, to hear Sylva tell it-- were the only power users in sight. Sylva was new, the youngest in the office, and the odd one out in every respect, so Yan couldn¡¯t blame her for feeling lonely and trying to reach out, asking if they could meet up for dinner, or hang out on the tenday, or anything like that. Yan felt bad for the fact that she couldn¡¯t get away from work, and when she was away from work, she was asleep.

    She texted Sylva platitudes that sounded false even to her.

    > hopefully things will calm down soon

    > s. is going to introduce us as his apprentices at the governors¡¯ dinner

    > so after that we¡¯ll probably be doing more routine things than crash course on how to use the power to defend ourselves

    > and trust me i will be glad to be free of it

    > my brain has felt like it¡¯s been stomped into mush every night

    > and i want to hang out with you again

    < you allowed to bring a +1 to the governors¡¯ dinner thing?

    > didn¡¯t think you liked parties

    > no one¡¯s mentioned it, so i don¡¯t think so

    > sorry :(

    < it¡¯s ok

    < idek what I¡¯d wear

    The day of the Governor¡¯s Dinner, all three of the apprentices had been let out of training before noon, giving them some blessed time off, though Yan suspected that this was mostly so that Halen could have the afternoon to do whatever his mysterious normal tasks were. She didn¡¯t care enough to ask what he was doing with his time, and she was grateful just to have the opportunity to take a nap and a long, luxurious bath before what was certain to be a busy night.

    She couldn¡¯t quite relax as much as she wanted, and by the time that the evening rolled around, she was nervous, especially when she got dressed in the outfit that had been given to her for the occasion.

    It was clear that Sandreas wanted his apprentices to make a suitable impression on the assembled leadership of all the planets in the Empire. Yan looked at herself in the floor length mirror in her bedroom, admiration not quite what she was feeling.

    The cassock and cape she had been given were beautiful, both made of heavy fabric that moved with a life of its own when she turned. The cassock was black, with small red buttons that matched the long cape. All along the bottom of the cape was almost invisible embroidery, done in red thread that only caught the light when it splayed out behind her, with the text of a hymn interwoven with floral patterns. She had been given a slim gold circlet to wear on her head: heavy, real gold.

    Her family would have been impressed with it, even if her uncle Maxes would have teased her about how much it had cost. The spacer in her brain, no matter that Halen had claimed she wasn¡¯t one anymore, couldn¡¯t put away the knowledge of how much a kilo of gold was worth to ship.

    Still, she hated to think that Halen might have been-- probably was-- right. The cost of the metal, while it registered as a fact in her brain, meant less than this new feeling of  image that she was suddenly aware of. Sandreas was trying to communicate something with the way that he was presenting her. Yan shifted in the mirror, tilting her chin up, straightening her shoulders, twisting her lips into a gracious but controlled smile. It was her responsibility to try to embody that message, to not disappoint Sandreas. He was trusting her with that responsibility.

    Fully dressed now, Yan left her apartment and crossed the hall to Kino¡¯s rooms, intending to gather up her fellow apprentices so that they could meet the limo outside. She figured it was easier to collect Kino first, since Sid would almost certainly object to including Kino in anything. Yan knocked on the door.

    There was a muffled sound of something heavy tumbling to the floor, a solid thud, as though Kino had just knocked something over. It took a moment for Kino to appear at the door, and she seemed disheveled. Her hair was wet and she was not dressed, wrapped instead in a towel. Yan looked in behind her at her apartment: though it was dark inside, it was clearly messy, with the furniture all pushed to the side of the living room, and random garbage tossed haphazardly across the floor.

    ¡°Are you going to get dressed?¡± Yan asked. ¡°We¡¯re going to be late.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said. Although her tone was even, the way that she was stretching the edge of her towel with a clawlike grip indicated that she was nervous.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said again. She wasn¡¯t meeting Yan¡¯s eyes, but she held open the door in a clear invitation for Yan to come into the apartment. Yan did, stepping gingerly over a discarded pizza box on the floor. The door shut behind her, and Kino walked deeper into the apartment. Although Yan could feel the power move through the air as Kino simply scooted garbage out of her path as she walked, the sensation was slippery and odd, quieter than Yan was used to. If she hadn¡¯t seen the trash moving, Yan might not have noticed the feeling at all, which was unusual for her.

    Kino¡¯s outfit for the party, perhaps the only clean thing in the apartment, was laid out on the couch. Without preamble, she dropped her towel and started to get dressed. Yan hastily turned the other direction.

    ¡°Do I have to wear this?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°The outfit?¡±

    ¡°This.¡± Yan was forced to glance at the nude Kino to see her holding up her own gold circlet with two fingers.

    ¡°I¡¯d assume so,¡± Yan said, turning around and reaching up to touch her own circlet. ¡°Why? Do you not like it?¡±

    Kino quoted the theology, saying, ¡°¡®The Red King¡¯s crown broke the strength of those who wore it, unfit to bear its weight.¡¯¡±

    Yan shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s not like you¡¯re claiming something above your station. Sandreas gave it to you for a reason.¡±

    ¡°My station?¡± Kino asked. Her voice was muffled by her pulling her cassock on over her head.

    Yan had no answer to that one, but turned back around to see Kino fully dressed, except for her shoes. Yan walked over to her, picked up Kino¡¯s golden circlet from where it had been discarded on the couch, and placed it gently on her head. Kino stared at Yan for a second, then shook her head and began braiding her hair, pulling the water out of it with the power as she went so that it was fluffy and dry beneath her fingertips.

    ¡°It looks good on you,¡± Yan said.

    Kino didn¡¯t smile.

    <hr>

    The three apprentices arrived at Stonecourt together, all looking more respectable than they ever had in their lives, in their new cassocks and capes. Sid spent the limo ride fiddling with this own circlet, which was apparently too cold to bear on his bald head, until Yan told him to make it float just above his skin. He grinned at her, and did that very ostentatiously, until Yan used her power to force it back down just before they all exited the limo. He made a rude sign at her, but the metal band stayed in its normal position, instead of hovering a good fifteen centimeters above his head.

    Good. All three of them were capable of behaving. All three of them could look the way that Sandreas needed them to look.

    Inside Stonecourt, they were greeted by Halen, who took a long look at them, in a way that made Yan want to squirm away. He was dressed in his normal black suit, though perhaps a slightly nicer variation than whatever his daily wear version was.

    ¡°Good,¡± Halen said after a second of scrutiny. ¡°I trust I don¡¯t have to remind you all how to smile and behave?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said, though glancing at Kino, perhaps she could have been reminded how to smile, and looking to her other side at Sid, perhaps he could have used a reminder to behave, grinning as he was.

    ¡°Good,¡± Halen said again. ¡°Aymon is meeting with Guildmaster Vaneik. He asked me to bring you to him when you arrived.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sid asked, and Yan was glad that he had asked it, because she wanted to know the answer.

    ¡°I believe because Vaneik wants you to meet his apprentices.¡± There was something in Halen¡¯s tone that Yan couldn¡¯t quite understand, but she chalked it up to him disliking spacers, on principle, as a pirate. He led the three apprentices up towards Sandreas¡¯s office, and knocked once on the door before simply opening it.

    Sandreas was sitting by himself on one of the couches, and Ungarti Vaneik was seated across from him, surrounded on either side by his two apprentices, Nomar Thule and Yuuni Olms. Yan recognized the apprentices, vaguely, from following spacer news and from having seen them both at the Academy years earlier. Everyone in the room looked distinctly uncomfortable. Sandreas¡¯ smile was thin when he looked over at Halen and his own apprentices.

    ¡°Ah, so glad you could make it before we all headed down to the dinner,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°Ungarti, these are my new apprentices: Yan BarCarran, Sid Welslak, and Kino Mejia.¡±

    Yan made an attempt to smile.

    Guildmaster Vaneik was a tall man, as all spacers were, and he had long black hair worn loose around his face. He looked them over, and his dark eyes settled on Yan, taking in her tall frame. ¡°Aymon, I always enjoy being in a room where the spacers outnumber the rest of you two to one. You¡¯re from the Iron Dreams , aren¡¯t you? Pellon BarCarran¡¯s ship?¡± He had recognized her last name.

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Good man, Pellon,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°Give him my regards when you see him.¡±

    ¡°I will, sir,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Let me introduce you to my apprentices: this is Yuuni Olms, from the  Neutron Star  , and Nomar Thule, from the  Gallant .¡±

    Olms had a slender face, with curly brown hair cut close to her head, and inquisitive green eyes. Thule was broad where Olms was slim, and his blond hair was slicked back from his forehead. The thin line of his mouth, the harshness of his jaw, and the squint of his eyes gave a serious impression, one that Yan didn¡¯t particularly like.

    All the apprentices exchanged polite greetings.

    ¡°So, which one of these three is going to succeed you, Aymon?¡± Vaneik asked. ¡°You¡¯ll forgive me for hoping it¡¯s the spacer.¡± Sid poked Yan in the side, at that.

    Yan felt distinctly uncomfortable. Sandreas glanced over at her, amused. ¡°I should ask you the same question, since you¡¯ve had your two for almost five years now. You¡¯ve had more time to figure out which is a suitable replacement for you than I have.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m in no danger of retiring, trust me.¡±

    Thule¡¯s mouth twitched downwards in a stifled scowl, and Olms looked away, out the darkened window behind Sandreas¡¯s desk.

    ¡°Of course, you¡¯re still under the impression that you¡¯ll name your son as your successor.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware that you had rewritten the Guild¡¯s charter to turn it into a monarchy, Aymon,¡± Ungarti said lightly. ¡°Even the person I name must be confirmed by the Council.¡±

    ¡°Luckily, the Council seems to respect your choices,¡± Sandreas said, his voice dry.

    ¡°Most of the time,¡± Vaneik said dismissively, wanting to change topics. ¡°I still wanted to get your clarification on this Olar issue.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why I should have to do anything about it,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°If I start stepping on governors¡¯ toes, I¡¯m going to have larger issues.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hardly just my problem,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°And it¡¯s hardly just an issue with Olar. It¡¯s a problem across the board.¡±

    ¡°What are you suggesting that I do, then?¡±

    ¡°Put a Fleet ship in the system. Or more than one. Then you don¡¯t have to step on any toes.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t think it¡¯s toe-stepping to park a warship in orbit around one of my planets?¡± Sandreas asked. ¡°You don¡¯t think that makes governors sweaty under their collars?¡±

    ¡°And how do you think it makes me feel when my ships can hardly get close to a system because your governors are letting pirates just sit where they please? I¡¯m asking you very nicely to do something about it, because if I start stepping on your governors¡¯ toes, you are going to feel that, too.¡±

    Sandreas pursed his lips. ¡°I¡¯ll make some polite but firm suggestions,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°But even if I had the inclination to send Fleet ships into every system, I don¡¯t have the ships to spare. So don¡¯t expect me to do so.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re all so busy fighting your little war.¡±

    ¡°That is, in fact, their purpose, among other things,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°Chasing pirates and enforcing planetary law is generally beneath them.¡±

    Vaneik frowned. ¡°If you make an example out of Olar, then you won¡¯t have to deal with this problem everywhere else. You¡¯ve given people too long of a leash.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t tell you how to run the Guild,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°So let¡¯s not talk about what leeway I give people.¡±

    ¡°As you say.¡±

    Sandreas stood, which made Vaneik, and his two apprentices stand as well. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it, Ungarti. But don¡¯t expect miracles,¡± Sandreas said, his tone moderated, more of a concession.

    ¡°I will take what I can get.¡±

    Sandreas nodded. ¡°You should go down to dinner.¡±

    <hr>

    The Governors¡¯ Dinner was being held in Stonecourt¡¯s largest event hall. Yan had stuck her head in once before, when Halen had briefly described the event to them, but then the marble floor had been empty and the lights had been dimmed, giving the room the appearance of an abandoned department store rather than a party. Now, however, the room was elaborately decorated, with tables festooned with flowers, light seeming to come from absolutely everywhere. It was crowded, too, with the entourages of the governors of the several hundred planets within the Empire.

    All the guests were doing their best to signal their standing. There were those, like Yan, who were dressed in their cassocks, announcing themselves as sensitives. When Yan cast out her power over the room, she could feel that extra soft tingle of power on many of the guests, even some who were not wearing cassocks and capes. There were plenty of governors, many of whom were sensitives, who were instead wearing their local finery, whatever that was: splendid dresses and robes, the likes of which Yan had only ever seen in photographs. Although Yan had travelled extensively as a child on board her family¡¯s ship, she had only ever encountered the less formal variations of some of this traditional wear. And there were plenty of more subdued outfits, as well: people dressed in simple, more universal clothing, suits and dresses that might have been at home at any high society gathering throughout the Empire.

    The three apprentices hardly stood out, compared to the gaudy sea of people, which meant that no one looked at them as they were led to the back of the room by some of the Stonecourt staff, Sandreas having briefly left to change into his own outfit, which he had not been wearing when he spoke to Guildmaster Vaneik. Yan wondered if that had been an intentional snub, or if Sandreas¡¯ day was just so carefully regimented that he couldn¡¯t have spared a moment to change before then.

    In any event, waiting in the back area of the room, behind the stage, Yan couldn¡¯t help but feel a little nervous. Without Sandreas, the three apprentices were unmoored. Kino leaned against the back wall, picking at the sleeve of her cassock with her fingernails. Sid kept peeking out the open stage door, a repeated action that made Yan more anxious than anything else.

    Stolen story; please report.

    ¡°What are you looking for?¡± she signed at him.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± he replied. But he stuck his head out again just the same.

    Sandreas finally arrived, with Halen in tow, just a minute before the event was officially scheduled to begin. His outfit was quite different from his usual, and Yan was struck again that Sandreas loved to make an impression. His normally black cassock had been swapped out for a red one, and his long red cape had been replaced with black. The gold band on his head was only a hair more elaborate than the apprentices¡¯, being made of a gold braid instead of a solid band. It sat neatly over his greying temples. He spoke with the master of ceremonies for a moment before speaking with Yan, Sid, and Kino.

    ¡°Kino, I¡¯d appreciate it if you could smile,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°That¡¯s all you have to do here.¡± He glanced at Sid. ¡°And you, try to behave.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to tell Yan to play nice?¡± Sid asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Sandreas said, which made Sid make a face. Yan looked down at her feet. ¡°Yan has a healthy sense of shame and personal decency, which I have seen that you lack.¡± Sandreas¡¯ voice was light, and his expression was amused. Sid rolled his eyes and shook his head.

    The master of ceremonies got Sandreas¡¯ attention. On stage, a small band began to play a patriotic song, silencing the sound of many overlapping conversations that had been drifting in from the hall itself. As the first song came to a close, Sandreas walked out from the backstage area, into the full bright lights, standing behind a lectern to give his welcome address.

    Yan listened to him, watching him from the side, waiting for the signal that the three apprentices should step out. Sandreas looked confident and serene, and his voice was even. He didn¡¯t glance down at the notes for the address he was giving, but Yan could feel him using the power. She couldn¡¯t tell exactly what he was doing, but it was almost certainly some simple trick to see the page without looking, perhaps by sensing the places where the ink lay on the paper. It was the kind of thing that Yan could do when focused on it completely (in fact, she used to do it when she lived in the Academy¡¯s communal dorms and wanted to read without bothering her peers by turning on the lights), but she was impressed by the way that he was able to use the power with that level of control and focus, while calmly giving a speech to almost all the assembled leaders of the Empire. She had known, intellectually, that Sandreas was powerful in a personal sense, or at least she had assumed it, but she hadn¡¯t quite internalized it until this moment, seeing him so completely in his element, all the room focused on him and under his sway, hanging onto every word he spoke.

    ¡°The future of the Empire is one where we are united, against all who would seek to divide us,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°We have more enemies than we have friends in this universe, uncountable and unnumbered as the stars. If we allow petty troubles to divide our friends from us, we shall be weaker still. It is standing together that has allowed us to prevail against all who would do us harm, as it has been since the founding of our Empire.

    ¡°While our enemies hide in the darkness, we shine with the light of God. It is that shining light that we pass down to our children. We must not allow ourselves to extinguish that torch; we must carry it forward.

    ¡°I have served as the Voice of this Empire for twenty years,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°I have been blessed to lead you, as First Herrault was blessed before me. It has been the greatest honor and the greatest burden that any man could bear, and I have been blessed that I have not had to bear it completely alone; the Emperor, the Imperial Council, and all you assembled here have shared in the sacred duty of leading our people through every moment of light and every moment of darkness for these past twenty years.

    ¡°There must, however, come a time when I will pass the torch on to the one who will come after me, continuing the unbroken line of Voices. I pray that this will not be for many more years, but I must be prepared for that day nonetheless. As is traditional, I have chosen three apprentices, one of whom, with the assent of the Emperor, will eventually succeed me.

    ¡°Although I have never considered myself a teacher, it is a joyous burden to impart all the wisdom I have learned to these three. I will give them all my hope and my fear. They will learn from all that I have done, and all that I have failed to do. I pray that where they find fault in me, they will use that as a guide to be fair leaders of men where I may have failed.

    ¡°First Herrault provided such a shining example to me. There is a powerful bond between teacher and student, one which transcends time. I hear First Herraut¡¯s voice when I speak. I still yearn to live up to her example, and fear that perhaps I am but a passing shadow, an imitation of her true wisdom. But she confessed to feeling the same about First Wyland before her. My apprentices may someday come to feel the same way about me.

    ¡°It is this passing of the torch that gives us strength, that ensures continuity of governance and of tradition, that unites the past with the future. My apprentices will have much to learn, but I am confident that they will learn it, and, with humility, I pray that I am fit to teach it.

    ¡°I would now like to introduce to you my three apprentices, who will carry the torch of the future.

    ¡°Yan BarCarran, of the Guild ship the  Iron Dreams .¡±

    Yan had been so wrapped up in listening to Sandreas that it took her a half second to realize that she was being summoned. She jerked to attention, then stepped out into the bright lights of the stage, looking out across the assembled leadership of the Empire, feeling the eyes of the universe upon her. She smiled, though her heart beat in her throat. There was applause, though Yan couldn¡¯t tell if its tenor was enthusiastic.

    ¡°Kino Mejia, of Hanathue,¡± Sandreas said.

    Kino stepped out into the light behind Yan. She wasn¡¯t smiling. ¡°Falmar,¡± Kino said, though Yan doubted that anyone could hear her over the clapping. ¡°I¡¯m from Falmar.¡±

    ¡°And Sid Welslak, of Galena.¡±

    Sid grinned and waved as he stepped out next to the other two.

    Sandreas turned and looked at the three of them for a moment, the smile on his face warm, though Yan couldn¡¯t be sure if it was genuine, or if he was just good at acting for the cameras. It may very well have been both.

    ¡°I present to you the future of the Empire!¡±

    <hr>

    After the speeches had been given, the formal dinner itself was a bit of a blur for Yan. She, Sid, and Kino sat with Sandreas at the head table, along with the governor of Emerri, a woman named Runwest. Halen was nowhere to be seen, though Yan chided herself for feeling like that was odd; it wasn¡¯t as though Halen was a high status individual, so there was no reason for him to sit at Sandreas¡¯ right hand. She had just grown accustomed to seeing them together, as they almost always were when Yan interacted with Sandreas. But, of course, she hadn¡¯t been following Sandreas to his official duties until just this moment, so she wouldn¡¯t have seen them apart.

    The food was delicious, and Yan was able to hold up polite dinner conversation, when she was spoken to. Luckily, everyone seemed to understand that since she and the others had only been Sandreas¡¯ apprentices for a few weeks, engaging them in anything other than mundane questions about their lives would have been pointless. And it was likely that Governor Runwest knew how to be appropriately subordinate to the Imperial government, and would not perform any political maneuvering at the dinner table, as other governors might have been wont to do. Emerri, being the capital of the Empire itself, was in a unique position of power and influence, but at the cost of being nearly wholly subsumed in interplanetary affairs by the fact that the Imperial government made its home there.

    There would be plenty of time for other governors and guests to make moves after dinner. As soon as the main meal was over, the assembly turned into more of a general party, with drinks and dancing, with a band playing elegant music.

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure what she was supposed to do with herself, as after dinner Sandreas got up from the table and went off to talk to people, leaving Yan, Kino, and Sid by themselves.

    ¡°Are we supposed to talk to people?¡± Yan asked.

    Sid shrugged. ¡°Maybe.¡± He turned to Kino. ¡°I liked what you did on stage, earlier.¡±

    She looked at him with a blank stare. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°You own the fact that you¡¯re a bad omen. I get that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a bad omen,¡± Kino said, voice flat. ¡°I¡¯m just not from Hanathue.¡±

    ¡°You lived there, though, didn¡¯t you?¡± Yan asked. ¡°Besides, Sid, I¡¯m sure no one heard her. Not over the applause.¡±

    He wrinkled his nose. ¡°I could pick it up,¡± he said, and tapped his glasses. ¡°And anyone who could read lips would see.¡±

    ¡°I only lived there for a few years,¡± Kino said. ¡°I¡¯ve lived on Emerri much longer than I lived on Hanathue.¡±

    Sid rolled his eyes. ¡°Going to school on Emerri does not make any of the three of us  from  here.¡±

    ¡°I know. That¡¯s why I said I¡¯m from Falmar.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think it matters,¡± Yan said. ¡°Sandreas probably just didn¡¯t want people thinking about--¡±

    ¡°He was just talking about his mistakes,¡± Sid said. ¡°If he¡¯s going to talk about his mistakes, he might as well own that one.¡±

    ¡°I already know the lessons of Falmar,¡± Kino said. ¡°He doesn¡¯t have to teach them to me.¡±

    Yan and Sid shared a glance. ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. ¡°I guess so.¡± She looked at Kino, the way she was picking the embroidered border out of one of the fancy napkins on the table. She wondered if God had put Kino here, as punishment and a lesson for Sandreas. If she had voiced that thought aloud to the masters at the Academy, they probably would have assigned her some kind of punishment or extra reading, but it was the kind of thought that she couldn¡¯t help but have. It seemed fitting. She wondered if Kino herself saw things that way.

    Sid seemed about to say something else, but was interrupted by someone approaching their table. It was Yuuni Olms, Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s apprentice, and she was smiling broadly at the three of them.

    ¡°Congratulations on your formal introduction to society,¡± she said.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Sid said. He squinted at her, then signed, ¡°You¡¯re a spacer. You sign?¡±

    Olms, surely not expecting to pull her knowledge of technical sign out at dinner, fumbled a moment and then signed back, ¡°A little.¡±

    Sid nodded, already bored of her.

    ¡°I was wondering,¡± Olms said, voice curious, ¡°If you¡¯d like to dance, Apprentice BarCarran.¡±

    ¡°Oh, um,¡± Yan glanced around. Sandreas was nowhere to be seen, and she normally would have asked his permission. Sid was clearly trying to hide a grin, and Kino was unaffected, staring out across the party and paying Olms almost no attention. ¡°I guess so.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Olms said. She held out her hand as Yan stood. ¡°Thank you for the honor.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hardly an honor,¡± Yan said, taking the extended hand and allowing Olms to lead her out to the dance floor. She was a tiny bit taller than Yan, and was wearing a smart blue suit, rather than a cassock. They found a place on the dance floor and easily began the first few steps of the dance.

    ¡°Oh, I think it is,¡± Olms said. ¡°Not everyone gets the chance to dance with someone who might lead the Empire, someday.¡±

    ¡°You might as well dance with Kino,¡± Yan said. It wasn¡¯t entirely clear if Olms was actually trying to flirt with her. Yan worried briefly about how this would look, on the cameras. There were reporters taking photographs of the event, and Yan was sure that she, as Sandreas¡¯ new apprentice, would feature heavily, especially if she was dancing with Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s apprentice.

    ¡°You¡¯re trying to get rid of me so soon, Apprentice BarCarran!¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan protested, and Olms just laughed at her. ¡°And you can just call me Yan.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t dance with Apprentice Mejia,¡± Olms said.

    ¡°Why not?¡± Yan glanced behind herself, looking at Kino sitting alone at the table. She wondered where Sid had gone.

    ¡°Too short,¡± Olms said. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know where to put my feet to not step on her.¡±

    Yan did chuckle at that. ¡°Do you dance a lot, on the Guildmaster¡¯s ship?¡±

    ¡°Enough,¡± Olms said. ¡°I think we¡¯re busier than average. My father certainly hosted more parties than Ungarti does.¡±

    ¡°Is your father the captain?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Olms said with a smile. ¡°Banmei. What relationship is your captain to you?¡±

    ¡°First cousin once removed,¡± Yan said. ¡°But he was close with my mother, so he likes me more than he probably should.¡±

    Olms laughed. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sure he likes you on your own merits just fine, Yan.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡± They separated briefly for one of the steps in the dance, then came back together.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you think your captain likes you for your merits?¡±

    ¡°My merits aren¡¯t exactly those of a spacer,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯ve only spent summers on his ship for the past ten years.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s in your blood,¡± Olms said. ¡°I¡¯m sure your captain would not like you if he didn¡¯t think you brought anything to the family.¡±

    ¡°I feel like¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    Yan considered her words. ¡°I kept having this nightmare, over the summer. I was on the  Dreams , but I was about to disembark to go back to school. And when I was saying goodbye to Captain Pellon at the door, he would tell me something like, ¡°Remember, you don¡¯t have the family name when you¡¯re not on the ship.¡¯ It was a stupid dream.¡±

    Olms laughed. ¡°Oh, trust me, I get it. Whose family name would you take?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think my dream self thought that far,¡± Yan said. ¡°First Sandreas¡¯, I guess. Or maybe my friend would give me hers.¡±

    ¡°Friend?¡±

    ¡°Just someone from the Academy,¡± Yan said. ¡°She works in the IKRB now. But we were going to live together, before I took this apprenticeship.¡±

    Olms made a slight face, one that Yan couldn¡¯t quite interpret the meaning of. ¡°I had that kind of thought when I was first taking Ungarti¡¯s apprenticeship,¡± Olms said. ¡°Since I was living on his ship-- and the apprenticeship is supposed to be like family-- I considered asking my father if I should take the Vaneik name.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it would have upset my father. And I realized it was stupid, you know. If I want the Vaneik name, I should marry into the family, properly.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Certainly Ungarti would like me to do that.¡±

    ¡°Really? Who?¡±

    ¡°His son, of course,¡± Olms said. ¡°Wil.¡± And this expression, Yan could interpret: clear distaste.

    Yan¡¯s brow furrowed. ¡°Doesn¡¯t he get¡­?¡±

    Olms laughed aloud. ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve told him to his face that he¡¯d have more luck getting Nomar to marry his son than he would getting me to do it, but he doesn¡¯t really understand. He says his father managed to keep a wife, after all.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Yan said. She had less desire to gossip about the former guildmaster than Olms did.

    ¡°Ungarti has complained to me on more than one occasion that he told First Sandreas to take a wife and look respectable, but he wouldn¡¯t listen. It apparently grates on him to this day that Sandreas refused.¡±

    ¡°Why does he care?¡±

    Olms hesitated for a second. ¡°My master does not like to think that sensitives are in some way different from him. I think-- well, it doesn¡¯t matter what I think-- but it¡¯s why he was talked into taking apprentices, even though by all rights he shouldn¡¯t have them, and why he wants First Sandreas to--¡± She shook her head. ¡°His father had a wife to appease his grandfather, but he had a ¡®friend¡¯ in every port of call. Dealing with how much the Vaneik men want to live up to their father¡¯s legacy is not a burden that I want to bear, and so I¡¯m glad that I won¡¯t be able to bring myself to marry Wil.¡±

    ¡°And your father?¡±

    ¡°My father tells me he is proud that I carry the Olms name, and will happily welcome me home when my apprenticeship is done.¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t stay with Guildmaster Vaneik?¡±

    Olms¡¯ smile was thin and sad. ¡°This apprenticeship has been¡­ I won¡¯t say for nothing, because it has been valuable and enriching, and I¡¯m sure when I return to my father, the doors of professional connections that it has opened to me will be worth quite a lot. But when I accepted it, I accepted it knowing that there was no way that someone whom Ungarti considered an Imperial puppet would ever become his chosen successor, and I accepted it knowing that I would be missing out on the connection of a true apprenticeship. Ungarti is many things to me, but he is not, and never will be, a sensitive.¡± Olms paused. ¡°I¡¯m rather jealous of you, actually.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Olms smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll become a captain, someday. That will more than make up for all of this.¡±

    Yan nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll be jealous of you, then,¡± she said.

    ¡°Good,¡± Olms said. She spun Yan under her arm in the next dance step. ¡°By the way, Ungarti wants to talk to you.¡±

    ¡°About what?¡± Yan asked. This conversation with Olms had been pleasant enough, but she was suddenly nervous about speaking to the Guildmaster. She wondered if Sandreas would even want her to do such a thing.

    ¡°If I¡¯m being honest with you, Yan,¡± Olms said, ¡°I¡¯m sure he¡¯s going to try to convince you to be a Guild puppet, to make up for how everyone considers Nomar and I to be Imperial puppets.¡±

    ¡°Are you?¡± Yan asked. She looked again at the fact that Olms, despite being a sensitive, was not wearing a cassock.

    ¡°God, no,¡± Olms said with a laugh. ¡°Life would be a lot easier if I was.¡±

    ¡°What should I do?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re asking me for advice, Yan? That seems dangerous. But just go talk to him. He doesn¡¯t bite, I promise.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Yan said. ¡°If he really wants to speak to me.¡±

    ¡°Good girl,¡± Olms said. Yan¡¯s face heated up, and she stumbled on the next step of the dance.

    <hr>

    Olms had told Yan that Vaneik would be waiting for her outside, in the garden that adjoined the large hall. Like the courtyard Yan had been in before, this part of Stonecourt was built with privacy in mind, and even though it was well lit from hanging lanterns overhead, greenery obscured the sightlines and muffled conversations. Yan didn¡¯t doubt that there were probably cameras and microphones hidden everywhere, but it gave conversations an aura of secrecy, which made people more likely to talk, even when they shouldn¡¯t.

    At the very least, she was glad to step out into the cool night air from the hot and bright hall. She tugged at the collar of her cassock as she walked, trying to cool down. She had wanted to speak with Sandreas, to ask his permission to talk to Vaneik, before she headed out, but she hadn¡¯t been able to get his attention, as he had been deep in what looked like a very fraught conversation with the governor of Jenjin. So, Yan had been forced to use her best judgement and just head outside.

    Not sure where Vaneik actually was, Yan cast her power out around herself, searching for him. She could feel clusters of other people talking in the garden, but knew that Vaneik was supposed to be alone, so she headed towards the single spark she found, the one that didn¡¯t feel like it had a touch of the power on it. There was someone else headed in that direction, and though Yan didn¡¯t recognize the sense, the fact that they were behind her made her think that this was another one of the ¡®watchers¡¯ Halen had set on her. She gritted her teeth and ignored it as she headed towards Vaneik.

    He was sitting on a bench underneath a tree, holding a glass of wine loosely in his hand, staring up at the stars above, though only the few brightest ones were visible through the haze of the party lights.

    ¡°Guildmaster,¡± Yan said, startling him out of his reverie.

    ¡°Oh, Apprentice BarCarran,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m glad you could make it. Yuuni told you where to find me, I assume.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± she said.

    ¡°Please, take a seat.¡±

    He moved so that she could sit on the bench, and she did, somewhat gingerly. His face was half-obscured in the darkness.

    ¡°How have you been enjoying your apprenticeship with Aymon,¡± Vaneik asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ve only been in it for a few weeks, sir,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve had much of a chance to form an opinion, especially since he hasn¡¯t taken us anywhere official.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll see plenty of the official duties soon enough, now that you¡¯ve been introduced to the public,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°I¡¯m asking what you think of him.¡±

    ¡°Why do you ask, sir?¡±

    ¡°Social curiosity,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll admit that Aymon and I have never gotten along-- I¡¯m sure you gathered that-- so I¡¯m interested sometimes to hear what other people who work with him think of him. And, if you¡¯ll pardon me, I think it would be easier to ask you that, spacer to spacer, than it would be to ask almost anyone else.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been told that I¡¯m not a spacer anymore,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°And who told you that?¡±

    She hesitated. ¡°The pirate.¡±

    Vaneik let out a long laugh. ¡°Oh, I do not envy you one whit,¡± he said. ¡°That man gives me the creeps. I don¡¯t understand why Aymon has kept him around as long as he has.¡±

    ¡°I think because he trusts him,¡± Yan said. ¡°He¡¯s strong, at least.¡±

    ¡°The last thing I¡¯d want by my side is a strong pirate. I¡¯m glad I don¡¯t have to be around him much, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question,¡± Vaneik said.

    ¡°Sorry, sir,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°And don¡¯t let the pirate tell you you¡¯re not a spacer anymore. There¡¯s some things that stick with you, even when you¡¯re not in space.¡± He looked at her. ¡°Your family legacy is a lot more important outside your home than in it, you know.¡±

    Yan didn¡¯t know what to say to that, so she just said, ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    ¡°You want to do your family proud, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    ¡°I know you do.¡±

    ¡°May I say something, Guildmaster?¡±

    ¡°Of course, Apprentice.¡±

    ¡°I hope you aren¡¯t trying to set me against First Sandreas, here.¡±

    Vaneik¡¯s mouth twitched in a smile. ¡°Setting you against Aymon is the last thing on my mind. I think it¡¯s in everyone¡¯s best interest that you get along with him very well.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°So that you become his successor, of course. I would not want to do anything that would jeopardize that.¡±

    ¡°You must understand that being favored by you already puts me in conflict--¡±

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°It¡¯s only natural that the First has some favoritism for the place they come from. Certainly Aymon favors Lonn, and your compatriots, Apprentice Welslak and Apprentice Mejia, they¡¯d favor Galena and Hanthue--¡±

    ¡°Kino isn¡¯t from Hanathue,¡± Yan said suddenly.

    ¡°No?¡± Vaneik raised an eyebrow. ¡°Where¡¯s she from, then?¡±

    ¡°Falmar.¡±

    ¡°Is she indeed?¡±

    ¡°So, Guildmaster, you might have just as easy of a time convincing Apprentice Mejia to be your friend as you would convincing me.¡± She was aware that she was being listened to, either by the hidden microphones, or by the watcher who had been set over her, so Yan wanted to make it very clear that she was not going to be swayed into doing any favors for the Guildmaster. She cast her power out around herself, trying to feel where her watcher was hiding, and how much exactly she should be projecting.

    There. Right behind those bushes, and coming closer. Maybe this person was going to extract Yan from this situation. She tensed up, expecting to perhaps be yelled at.

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to convince you of--¡±

    It was only the fact that Yan was already looking in the direction of the intruder, knowing that they were approaching, that she saw the gun. Her eyes latched onto it, and she thought of nothing, all of a sudden, except the swelling of the power beneath her fingertips, and the power structure that Halen had drilled into her mind for the past few weeks fell into place before her. She leapt to her feet, throwing her hands up as though to physically block the attack, though it was her power that sang in her mind to do it, forming a wall between herself and the intruder.

    The man, dressed in the uniform of the Stonecourt wait staff, aimed the gun squarely at Guildmaster Vaneik and fired. But Yan had her power structure in place before the man pulled the trigger, and time felt slow and soupy as the bullet sank into her shield, glowing with heat as its energy bled away, and dropped to the floor.

    Vaneik had enough of a chance to react, now, and he, like any true spacer, reached into his jacket and withdrew a knife as he jumped for the man. Yan wouldn¡¯t be able to move her shield to protect him easily, so she did the first thing she thought of, which was to take the power and rip the gun out of the assassin¡¯s hands as Vaneik swung his knife in a great slash. The gun sailed into Yan¡¯s hands.

    The assassin tried to run, but Vaneik was on him, then, his greater height giving him a massive advantage. Yan didn¡¯t know what to do, so she did the only thing she could do, which was to scream, ¡°Halen!¡± making the sound echo and boom through the air, audible far over the noise of the party and cutting through the foliage of the garden like it was nothing.

    She ran towards the Guildmaster and the assassin, who were now wrestling on the ground, the assassin having produced his own small knife, trying to stab it into Vaneik¡¯s eyes with one hand, while keeping his throat from being cut with the other.

    ¡°Guildmaster, stop!¡± Yan yelled. She used the power to pull the knife from the assassin¡¯s hand again, and she winced when the blade slipped across his fingers. He was undeterred, and clawed at Vaneik¡¯s face with his hand, leaving streaks of blood across the Guildmaster¡¯s cheeks.

    It was at this moment that Halen arrived at a run, and, as though it was nothing, Guildmaster Vaneik and the assassin flew apart, both trapped in the air. Halen¡¯s power was on Yan¡¯s body, too, and she couldn¡¯t move, except that her fingers uncurled involuntarily from the gun in her hand, and it clattered to the stone ground. She could have cried with relief.

 Sometimes, the Best Answer Is to Stop Asking the Question

    Sometimes, the Best Answer Is to Stop Asking the Question

    Yan was frozen for a moment as Halen took in the scene, easily holding everyone with his own power, which Yan had never seen anyone do before. Not even the masters at the Academy, breaking up fights between students, would have been able to do that, and Halen didn¡¯t even look strained. He bent down to pick up the gun she had dropped, though he didn¡¯t take the knife out of Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s hand. Vaneik could still move his eyes, at least, and he watched Halen with a mistrust and hatred that Yan could practically feel.

    Halen kept the whole assembly held until he seemed satisfied that the scene was secure, in some kind of way that Yan couldn¡¯t quite understand. She could feel his power moving all over, but it wasn¡¯t clear what he was doing. Perhaps he was just checking for more hidden weapons.   She wondered just what the actual extent of his power was, as he gently, slowly, released her.  Yan stayed frozen for a second, not quite sure that she could move her body, until she felt the unintentional trembling in her hand, and raised it to her face, touching her forehead as though that would offer some kind of reassurance. The Guildmaster and the assassin were still frozen, and Yan hated how this symbolic gesture of trust, or at least cooperation, between Halen and herself, made her feel. Yan looked away, conflicted about the fact that she had called out to him for help.

    ¡°What happened here, Yan?¡± Halen asked. His voice was low and on the edge of gentle, like how one would talk to a frightened animal. She wished that it didn¡¯t work on her.

    ¡°I--¡± Yan began, then took a deep breath. ¡°Apprentice Olms told me to come talk to the Guildmaster,¡± she said, her voice quivering a little. ¡°We were just talking. That man--¡± Yan pointed-- ¡°came from over there.¡± Her hand shook as she illustrated the scene. ¡°And I saw the gun¡­¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Halen said. He turned, noticing someone else approaching before Yan had registered it.

    Yuuni Olms appeared, sticking her head out from behind the greenery and fearlessly taking in the scene: the knife in her master¡¯s hand, the gun in Halen¡¯s, the bleeding assassin still laying frozen on the ground, and Yan, stiff as a board.

    Yan felt Halen release the Guildmaster from his hold, and Vaneik shook himself. ¡°I¡¯d prefer you didn¡¯t lay your hands on me, Halen,¡± Vaneik said, distaste clear in his voice. But he brushed himself off and tucked his knife back in his jacket without further protest.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Olms asked, standing next to Vaneik and assessing the rest of the scene with a wary eye. She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and offered it to the Guildmaster so that he could wipe the blood off his face.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you later,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°I think it¡¯s time that our party made a graceful exit.¡±

    ¡°I apologize for allowing this to happen,¡± Halen said. ¡°You may rest assured that I will personally take every effort--¡±

    ¡°I would have preferred to simply kill him and have it over with,¡± Vaneik said, waving his hand. ¡°I assure you, even if you tell me who sent him--¡± and Vaneik scowled at the man on the ground-- ¡°it will give me no satisfaction.¡±

    Halen nodded once.

    Vaneik glanced at Yan. ¡°Apprentice BarCarran, I do thank you for your assistance.¡± His eyes flicked between her and Halen. ¡°If there¡¯s anything I can do for you, please let me know.¡±

    ¡°No need, sir,¡± Yan said. It would have been antithetical to her honor as a spacer to accept a tangible reward, or even offer of future cooperation, for saving his life. The rules of civility between ships in the Guild dictated that there should be no token given for mutual defense against pirates.

    His lips quirked up in a wry smile. ¡°Indeed, Apprentice BarCarran. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll see you some other time.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have my staff--¡± Halen began.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need an escort,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°I¡¯m certain my own apprentices are capable of getting me back to the  Oathkeeper  unhindered.¡±

    ¡°As you say,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°Where is Nomar?¡± Vaneik asked Olms.

    ¡°Drinking, I believe,¡± she said.

    ¡°He¡¯s been making better use of his night than I have,¡± Vaneik replied. He looked around him very carefully, with one last lingering glance at the assassin still on the floor, then turned the corner with Olms and vanished from sight, leaving just Yan and Halen.

    She kept looking at the assassin on the floor, wondering what was to become of him. His breathing was shallow, but his face was still. Her mind felt oddly blank, looking at him.

    ¡°Are you alright, Yan?¡± Halen asked.

    She twitched, then jammed her hands into her pockets. ¡°Yes,¡± she said. Even if she wasn¡¯t, she wouldn¡¯t admit that to him, of all people.

    He studied her silently before he said anything else. She hated the way his eyes on her made her feel. ¡°If you would like to go home, I can get you a driver,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°I¡¯d rather not,¡± Yan said. She didn¡¯t know why she automatically objected. The objection just fell out of her mouth. Halen could have said anything, and she would have said the opposite. Even as she said it, she realized that what she really wanted was to talk to Sylva, but Sylva felt like a world away. Still, she wasn¡¯t going to back down. ¡°I think I¡¯ll go inside,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Halen said. She couldn¡¯t tell what he was thinking, but it was suddenly urgent for her to no longer be next to him, so she brushed past him. As soon as she was out of his sight, she broke into a run, heading near-blindly through the garden, away from everywhere she felt other people when she cast out her sense in the power.

    She ended up near the rear of the hall, strains of music and conversation coming faintly through an open set of double doors, ones that led into one of the hallways of Stonecourt, rather than directly back to the party itself. Yan hurried inside, down the hallway, until she found a bathroom that was blessedly empty.

    Yan leaned over the sink, catching her breath and trying to steady her shaking hands on the cold porcelain. As she leaned forward, her golden circlet, which she had almost forgotten about, slipped off her head and fell into the sink, making such a horrible loud noise that she almost cried. She stared at the circlet in the sink, then looked at her reflection in the mirror. Although this bathroom had the most pleasing lights possible, Yan still felt almost unrecognizable, with her eyes wide and a faint sheen of sweat all over her forehead. She opened the tap without thinking, belatedly realizing that she was getting her circlet all wet, decided it didn¡¯t matter, and splashed the cold water on her face, rubbing her eyes almost pathetically, though she wasn¡¯t quite crying.

    She couldn¡¯t have explained even a fraction of what she was feeling in that moment, not to anyone.

    The door opened. Yan jumped, grabbing her wet circlet out of the sink and clutching it as she whirled to look at the intruder. If she had been thinking straight, she would have kept the door shut with the power, but she hadn¡¯t been, and now--

    It was just Kino, stepping in and closing the door behind her. She stared at Yan with her own dark eyes. ¡°I was looking for you,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Why?¡± Yan asked, trying to relax a little. Kino was safe, Yan thought, even if she could be a little disconcerting. She at least was in the same ship as Yan. They were on a team.

    ¡°I heard you yell. But I couldn¡¯t tell where it was coming from.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said. ¡°Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    So, haltingly, Yan described the whole incident to Kino, who listened without reacting, aside from completely ripping the button off the sleeve of her cassock. Yan wondered if she would be in trouble for that. Kino stuffed the offending button into her pocket as Yan finished her story. ¡°So Guildmaster Vaneik left, and I came here just to¡­ You know.¡±

    ¡°Where did Halen go?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said. ¡°Did you look for him with the power?¡±

    ¡°My range is bad right now,¡± Kino said. ¡°That¡¯s why I couldn¡¯t find you.¡±

    ¡°Because of the party?¡± Yan asked. Too many people in a small space could make finding an individual difficult sometimes, though Yan rarely found it to be a bother.

    Kino looked at her out of the corner of her eye. ¡°No,¡± she said. She fished around in her pocket for a second and pulled out a small tin of mints. She opened it, then did something else to it, and a few of the mints dropped on the floor, which Kino ignored as she poked at it with two fingers, and then held up half a pill, its green color looking sickly under the warm bathroom lights. She offered it to Yan.

    ¡°What is that?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Vena,¡± Kino said, the flatness of her voice coming across as nonchalance. ¡°You can have it.¡±

    Yan was horrified, and she took a half step back, knocking her hip on the sink. ¡°What the fuck are you carrying around vena for?¡± she hissed, turning her head as though someone else could be listening. Her voice felt echoey and terrible in the bathroom, now that the subject had turned.

    ¡°It takes the edges off,¡± Kino said. ¡°You can have it.¡± She offered the half pill to Yan again.

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t-- you¡¯re going to get in so much trouble with Sandreas for that.¡±

    ¡°He knows,¡± Kino said. She put the pill away, and the mints tin went back into her pocket.

    ¡°What do you mean, ¡®he knows?¡¯¡±

    ¡°I let one of Halen¡¯s people follow me, over the summer, last time I bought some,¡± Kino said. ¡°He knows exactly what I was doing. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s searched my room.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Yan said. She rubbed her temple. ¡°Kino-- that¡¯s going to get you killed.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t take enough to make me not able to use the power,¡± Kino said. She demonstrated, tugging the circlet out of Yan¡¯s hand with the power and hovering it back onto her head. Yan shook her head, and it landed crooked.

    ¡°But it¡¯s dangerous,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I¡¯m used to it,¡± Kino replied.

    ¡°And illegal.¡±

    ¡°So?¡±

    ¡°Fuck, Kino¡­¡± Yan shook her head.

    ¡°Are you going to cause me a problem?¡± Kino asked, tilting her head curiously.

    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    ¡°You say Halen knows and doesn¡¯t care,¡± Yan said, scowling.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Because he¡¯s a pirate.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s not a pirate,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°He¡¯s not a pirate like you¡¯re not from Hanathue,¡± Yan said.

    Kino just stared at her. ¡°Are you going to cause me a problem?¡±

    Yan scrunched her eyes closed. If they had still been students at the Academy, she would have been more tempted. But Kino, despite the fact that this was the worst way to go about it, had been trying to do her a favor, and who would Yan report it to anyway? She shook her head. ¡°No,¡± she said. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Kino said.

    Yan sighed. ¡°Why do you¡­ You know what, nevermind,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to know.¡±

    Kino nodded. She looked at Yan, seemingly on the verge of saying something else, opening her mouth and then closing it again.

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure if she wanted to hear Kino try to defend herself, but she asked, ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Where did Halen go, with the assassin?¡±

    It was an unexpected question. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said. ¡°I assume he turned him over to, you know, like¡­¡± Even as she said this, the words felt false in her mouth. The way Halen had told Vaneik that he would find out who was behind the attack, and the way that he hadn¡¯t even batted an eye when Vaneik had said that he would have preferred to kill him¡­ Yan¡¯s stomach turned for a second. ¡°What do you think he¡¯s doing with him?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s out of my range,¡± Kino said. ¡°I¡¯m just curious.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    Kino tilted her head. ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know?

    ¡°Know what?¡±

    ¡°We have to learn what this job entails eventually.¡±

    Yan frowned. ¡°I¡¯m sure Sandreas will tell us everything that we need to know.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to go ask him what¡¯s happening to that man? And you¡¯re going to trust what he says?¡±

    ¡°Why would he lie?¡±

    ¡°He already lied.¡±

    ¡°About Falmar? That was for¡­¡± Yan¡¯s voice trailed off. Kino was just staring at her, with that odd, blank expression of hers. It was so unreactive that Yan was compelled to project her own meaning onto it. Kino might not have been silently judging her for not wanting to investigate, but Yan had to imagine that she was, and feel guilty about it. Yan looked away, disconcerted.

    ¡°You should go home,¡± Kino said, after a second of silence.

    Yan scowled. ¡°Halen told me that, too.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to look for him. If you don¡¯t want to come, you don¡¯t have to.¡± She turned towards the door, then went out.

    Yan hesitated for half a second, then said, ¡°Wait, Kino! I¡¯m coming.¡±

    The smile that Kino gave her when Yan stepped up to her shoulder was small and stiff, but Yan had to think that it was genuine.

    ¡°Can you feel him?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°Should we bring Sid?¡± Yan asked, not answering the question.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s with First Sandreas.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said. ¡°Alright.¡± She had a momentary thought that she should verify this, since Kino might just not want to bring Sid along for her own reasons, but then decided that Kino¡¯s unprompted confession of drug use meant that Kino was unlikely to be lying. She didn¡¯t seem the type. Instead, Yan swept her power out, seeking out the now-familiar feeling of Halen. She could feel him, further into the building, and far below their feet, in one of Stonecourt¡¯s sub-basements. She reported his location to Kino, and Kino started confidently walking down the hallways.

    Yan kept sending out little pings of power, just to make sure Halen wasn¡¯t moving. He wasn¡¯t. There were plenty of other signals of people near him, which would mean that they unfortunately wouldn¡¯t be able to sneak towards him without being observed. But that was alright. Yan, at least, wasn¡¯t really trying to be sneaky.

    On the edge of her power-sense, Yan caught a sensation that made her stop as she and Kino entered an echoey stairwell. Kino kept walking down the steps, but Yan sent out her power again to check.

    ¡°We¡¯re being followed,¡± she announced to Kino.

    ¡°Okay,¡± Kino said, but she kept walking. Yan followed, hesitantly, and kept glancing over her shoulder, even though the familiar presence following was still fairly far back.

    They made it to the bottom of the stairs, exiting into one of the cold and functional basement levels. Yan had never been here before, and all the hallways looked more utilitarian than the upper levels, even the ones where things like the training facilities they had used before were housed. These walls were cold, flat stone, with unlabeled doors, and, after a minute or so of walking, they came to a double door in the hallway that neither of their access cards would open.

    ¡°What now?¡± Yan asked, as she tried swiping her card against the sensor again, in the vain hope that it would do something.

    ¡°We can open it with the power,¡± Kino said. She closed her eyes and put her hand on the door.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t do that, if I were you,¡± someone said from down the hallway. Yan had been focused on the problem in front of them, and had not realized that her watcher had come this close.

    Yan turned, and Kino dropped her hand. The woman approaching was wearing a green dress, like one of the plainer party guests upstairs. Yan was sure, in fact, that she had seen this woman standing around in the hall, and had assumed that she was part of the entourages of one of the governors. She was tall, though shorter than Yan by a good few inches. Her eyes were as green as her dress was, and she had her brown hair in a loose updo, with a single flower tucked into it.

    Yan crossed her arms. ¡°I assume you¡¯re the watcher Halen sent after me.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± the woman said. Her voice was rich and cheerful, and she gave a small bow. ¡°Iri Maedes, at your service.¡±

    ¡°Can you open this door?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°I can,¡± Iri said.

    Kino moved aside to allow Iri to walk towards the door. ¡°Open it,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡± Iri smiled, but Kino frowned deeply. ¡°There¡¯s no reason for you to go back there.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s Halen doing with that man?¡± Yan asked.

    Iri looked at Yan steadily. ¡°It¡¯s important to learn who hired that man to kill Guildmaster Vaneik, why, and if there are any more people who might be about to try the same.¡±

    Yan felt ill, but she nodded.

    ¡°Halen is finding that out?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Iri said. ¡°Most likely.¡±

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t he be given to¡­ the Yora police, or¡­?¡± Yan trailed off.

    Iri looked at her. ¡°He may be, later.¡± Iri¡¯s voice was calm, just like Halen¡¯s had been, earlier. ¡°But Halen is uniquely well qualified to find answers.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t he tell you?¡± Iri asked.

    ¡°Tell me what?¡±

    ¡°Walk with me,¡± Iri said. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you.¡±

    Yan looked at Kino, then at the door. Kino started walking, following Iri, and Yan followed after Kino. They went all the way up the stairs and were heading back to the party area, though on a different route, and then Iri led them into a small meeting room, one that she used her own security card to open. She leaned against the wall, regarding Yan and Kino, before she said anything.

    ¡°Halen has a unique talent,¡± Iri said. ¡°I¡¯ve been told that lots of sensitives have some special quirk about them, but I wouldn¡¯t know-- do you?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s pretty common.¡± She shrugged. ¡°I can feel when other people are using the power nearby. Not everybody can do that naturally.¡±

    ¡°Mejia?¡±

    Kino looked at Iri and shrugged.

    ¡°What¡¯s Halen¡¯s ability?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°He can tell what people are feeling,¡± Iri said. ¡°He tried to describe it to me, once. He says it¡¯s not exactly like feeling things himself. If he was in here, and I punched you-- he described it as being an echo of the pain. And if it scared you, or made you angry, or any feeling, he¡¯d feel an echo of that, too.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said. Several things clicked into place: most vividly, the moment that she had first been told that Halen was a pirate, and become afraid-- she made the connection that the instant she had felt that fear run down her back, that was when Halen had turned away from the rest of Sandreas¡¯ entourage to go investigate Yan¡¯s party crashing family. She wondered what Halen could mean by an echo, what that actually felt like.

    ¡°So.¡± Iri shrugged. ¡°He can know very easily when someone is telling the truth or not, among other things.¡±

    ¡°He tortures people,¡± Kino said, voice flat.

    ¡°He does many things,¡± Iri said. ¡°Some of which, I don¡¯t think you need to see or interrupt him in, at least not right now.¡±

    ¡°Did he send you to stop me?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Iri said. ¡°In fact, he told me not to follow you too closely, after our little misadventure a little while ago.¡± Iri¡¯s mouth was a tight line. ¡°Which meant that I was not watching you when you went to speak with the Guildmaster.¡±

    ¡°I assumed I was on camera.¡±

    ¡°A camera does not stop a bullet,¡± Iri said. ¡°I apologize for being derelict in my duties.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Yan said, though she wasn¡¯t sure it was. ¡°I don¡¯t know if there was anything you could have done.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Iri said. ¡°Maybe not. But I, personally, have resolved to keep a better eye to stop that from happening again. This night has already been enough for you. Let Halen take care of his duties without worrying about it.¡±

    Yan looked at Kino, who had put the blank expression so firmly back on her face that Yan had no idea what she could possibly be thinking. There was no hint from Kino about what Yan should do, so she allowed herself to listen to Iri. ¡°Okay,¡± she said.

    Iri relaxed a little. ¡°Good. Now--¡±

    ¡°I think I want to go home, now,¡± Kino said abruptly.

    ¡°An excellent idea, Apprentice Mejia,¡± Iri said. ¡°There¡¯s a car waiting for you.¡±

    ¡°What about Sid?¡± Yan asked, but Iri was already holding the door to walk both of them out.

    <hr>

    It was late, but not inhumanly late, when Yan finally made it back to her room. After the limo ride back to her apartment, which had been dead silent, she had wondered if Kino would speak to her some more, but Kino had nodded curtly at her and had retreated to her own room. Now that Yan knew about Kino¡¯s more unfortunate habits, she had a nagging worry that maybe Kino shouldn¡¯t be left alone, but she also didn¡¯t really want to intrude, or get herself involved. So, she just went back to her apartment and paced back and forth in the living room.

    Her project that had earned her this apprenticeship, the fish in its bowl, sat on the coffee table, the fake goldfish matching her movements as she walked back and forth.

    She felt like there were fifteen thousand different thoughts swimming through her mind, but she couldn¡¯t do anything about them. She saw all the facets of problems, but was told in no uncertain terms to put them out of her mind. The assassin was Halen¡¯s responsibility to deal with. Kino¡¯s drug addiction wasn¡¯t a problem for her to solve. Whatever Halen considered to be his duty, Yan wasn¡¯t supposed to interfere. Yan¡¯s follower, Iri, would be doing her job regardless of if Yan wanted to be followed or not. There were political machinations happening between the Guild and the Empire that she ordinarily would have been interested in thinking about, but she didn¡¯t even entirely understand them, and didn¡¯t know if she was supposed to. Everything felt so urgent and yet impossible to think about directly.

    Yan sat down on her couch, folding in on herself. Here was something that she could do. She could take a deep breath, close her eyes, and bring the power up to the surface of her mind, feeling its presence just underneath her skin. Focused on that, and on nothing else, Yan felt some of her anxiety slip away. In the trance state, so easy to drop into, she could look at her thoughts, one by one, and put them away, to be dealt with later. Iri was right: there were things that were not her responsibility to think about, so she could put them away. Kino, Halen, Guildmaster Vaneik.

    She didn¡¯t know how long she was in that trance state, because it always made time feel so strange and fluid. It could have been ten minutes or it could have been three hours; when Yan was deep inside the power like that, she rarely bothered keeping an active sense of the minutes passing. She was jolted out of her meditation trance by the sound of her phone jangling away on the coffee table in front of her.

    Yan blinked, suddenly aware once again that she had a body. The dim lights of her living room stabbed into her eyes, and her phone¡¯s ringtone throbbed in her ears. She nearly knocked over her fishbowl as she reached for the offending object, intending initially just to silence it. But she saw that the caller ID said Sylva, so she answered instead.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Yan said. Her mouth was dry and sticky. ¡°Sylva.¡±

    ¡°Did I wake you up?¡± Sylva asked, voice tinny over the phone.

    Yan flopped to lay sideways on her couch, pressing the phone to her ear and staring up at the dark ceiling above her. ¡°No, I was meditating.¡±

    ¡°I saw you on the news,¡± Sylva said.

    ¡°Oh, really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I mean, I was watching the Governors¡¯ Dinner speeches. You looked good out there.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s been kinda a crazy night.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. ¡°I met Guildmaster Vaneik and his apprentices.¡±

    ¡°Would I know them from the Academy?¡± Sylva asked.

    ¡°You¡¯d probably recognize them if you saw them.¡±

    ¡°Let me see if I can pick them out from these crowd photos,¡± Sylva said, and her voice became blurrier as she switched Yan to speakerphone. ¡°I¡¯m looking at news pictures from the dinner.¡±

    ¡°Mmm,¡± Yan said. Sylva had gotten distracted with this, and so Yan just closed her eyes and waited for her to be finished.

    ¡°Who are you dancing with?¡± There was a strange tone in Sylva¡¯s voice, but Yan was too tired to process it.

    ¡°You don¡¯t recognize her,¡± Yan said. ¡°That¡¯s Yuuni Olms. Vaneik¡¯s apprentice.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sylva said. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°She asked me to dance.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Wanted to talk, I think.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t need to dance for that.¡±

    ¡°She probably just wanted to get me away from Sid and Kino. You know, spacer politics.¡±

    ¡°Did you do any politics?¡±

    ¡°I mean, what do you mean by politics?¡± Yan asked. ¡°I don¡¯t even know. I think it¡¯s all¡­¡± She sighed. ¡°Olms told me to talk to the Guildmaster, so I did¡­ God, Sylva¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    Yan quickly explained the assassination attempt, and how she had averted it, but she didn¡¯t mention anything that happened with Kino afterwards.

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I wish I could have been there.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Yan asked. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want you to be in danger.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to be in danger, either, you know!¡± Sylva protested. ¡°I would have¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t have let you go meet with the Guildmaster alone. What if something had happened?¡±

    ¡°I mean, something did happen,¡± Yan said. She was tired, and so her voice came out less kindly than she ordinarily would have spoken to Sylva. ¡°I don¡¯t think you would have been able to change anything about it.¡±

    Sylva made a breathy huff through the phone. ¡°Just because I¡¯m not important, I can¡¯t come. Can¡¯t be around.¡±

    ¡°You are important,¡± Yan said.

    Sylva snorted. ¡°Sure. It would be one thing if you said that as Yan of the  Iron Dreams . But you¡¯re saying that as Yan, apprentice to First Sandreas. That just makes it a lie.¡±

    ¡°Sylva,¡± Yan said. ¡°Come on. You know I¡¯m not--¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t want me to come,¡± she said. ¡°You could have asked.¡±

    ¡°Next time,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯ll invite you next time.¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t photograph as well as you dancing with Vaneik¡¯s apprentice.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said. ¡°I didn¡¯t-- I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°I promise, next time there¡¯s a party, I¡¯ll invite you.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Sylva said. ¡°Fine.¡± But she was clearly still mad.

    ¡°We should meet up this tenday,¡± Yan said. ¡°I think I¡¯m probably free from training, for a while, at least.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± The monotone, one word responses were killing Yan, but she didn¡¯t know how to solve them.

    ¡°Let me know when you¡¯re free.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°I think I should go to bed-- it really has been a crazy day.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Goodnight, Sylva.¡±

    ¡°Night.¡±

    And Sylva hung up. Yan threw her phone down onto the floor, and it landed on the carpet with a dull thud. She pressed her hands over her face and let out a truly undignified groan.

 Protect Me from What I Want to Know

    Protect Me from What I Want to Know

    Vaneik called Aymon on the phone, long after the Governor¡¯s Dinner had ended. Aymon took the call in his rooms in Stonecourt, with his feet up on his desk and Vaneik¡¯s reedy voice over the speaker. Vaneik was back in orbit, on board the  Oathkeeper , so there was a small but noticeable delay in between their responses to each other.

    ¡°I assume that since you haven¡¯t mentioned it, you haven¡¯t found out who tried to murder me yet, Aymon,¡± Vaneik said.

    ¡°We¡¯re trying to trace the money,¡± Aymon said. ¡°But we haven¡¯t been able to figure out more than that. He has connections to some organized crime in Yora, which was presumably how he was contacted for the job, but he doesn¡¯t know who hired him.¡±

    ¡°Not surprising,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°Your apprentice should have let me kill him.¡±

    ¡°That would have been a scene,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°As though it wasn¡¯t already.¡±

    ¡°No witnesses. It doesn¡¯t have to be.¡±

    Vaneik¡¯s laugh was hollow. ¡°Am I to understand that you want me to do you a favor, after I almost was murdered at your party?¡±

    ¡°I would appreciate it, but I don¡¯t expect it.¡±

    ¡°You had best be more careful, Aymon,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°If your apprentice hadn¡¯t been there, you would have had a new host of problems.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°I like her, by the way.¡± It was an almost off-handed comment. ¡°Not that I spoke to the others, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.¡±

    ¡°Tell me, Ungarti, did your father have a favorite from among my cohort?¡±

    ¡°Certainly,¡± Vaneik said. ¡°And it wasn¡¯t you.¡±

    ¡°That must have been a great disappointment for him, then.¡±

    ¡°That the two apprentices with good sense were killed, and the one who was left confides more in pirates than anyone else? Yes, I believe it was. Which was why he retired.¡± Vaneik sniffed. ¡°It came as no surprise that every decision you have made has been antagonistic towards us, after you became First.¡±

    ¡°Antagonistic? I wouldn¡¯t be so harsh on myself.¡±

    ¡°Of course you wouldn¡¯t. But you have always hated the Guild, for whatever reason.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hate the Guild,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Just you.¡±

    Vaneik laughed at that, the sound grating and unpleasant through the phone. ¡°I understand that you have your interests, and you understand that I have mine. But I hope that our successors will be able to cooperate.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m given to understand that your son doesn¡¯t particularly enjoy collaboration with anyone.¡±

    Vaneik clearly didn¡¯t like accusations against his son, because he changed the topic, his voice suddenly sharp. ¡°Regardless of who my successor is, I intend to outlast you.¡±

    ¡°We all intend many things, Ungarti.¡±

    ¡°I should avoid attending any more of your functions, so that I can accomplish that goal. I don¡¯t like putting my life in your hands, which I apparently have to do every time I set foot on Emerri.¡±

    ¡°I apologize,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± Vaneik said. There was some distorted sound from the other end of the line. ¡°I¡¯m going to jump my ship. Let me know what you plan on doing about Olar.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you right now, if one more of my ships encounters pirates in that system, I am going to take matters into my own hands. And you won¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t control what pirates do.¡±

    Vaneik made a dismissive sound. ¡°Enjoy your night, Aymon.¡±

    ¡°Safe travels.¡±

    Vaneik hung up the phone, leaving Aymon in the sudden silence of his office. He pulled his feet off his desk, then stood and stretched, the joints in his back cracking. It was late, but he would wait for Halen to return before he went to bed.

    Aymon poured himself a glass of whiskey, then walked into the living room, staring out the window at the courtyard below and the lights of Yora out over the top of the building. The small moon was moving quickly on its course overhead, and Aymon watched it travel three quarters of the way across the sky as he stood there and sipped his drink, just waiting for Halen to return. Thoughts were drifting across his mind, primarily concerning his apprentices and the politics of the day, but after twenty years of serving as First, and years before that of being First Herrault¡¯s apprentice, Aymon knew very well how to think about political considerations without allowing them to overwhelm him. The matter of Vaneik¡¯s would-be assassin was concerning, but it couldn¡¯t be solved right this moment, and Vaneik probably could be trusted not to elevate this into a huge scandal. There would be little for him to gain from it, anyway.

    He would have to do something about Olar, eventually, but he wanted to refrain from intervening for as long as possible. A diplomatic solution would be more elegant than sending a Fleet ship¡­ Aymon took a deep breath and pushed the issue to the side. He would invite the Olar council representative to have a talk with him, later this week. He would find some kind of carrot to offer them, get them to crack down on pirates trading in their system.

    Aymon tilted his glass around in his hand, watching how the alcohol caught the light. And Yan. He didn¡¯t like that Vaneik liked her. He would need to speak with her, too.

    The door into Aymon¡¯s rooms opened. Halen, of course, could come in without knocking, and he did. Despite how large he was, he moved very quietly, and it was only the sound of the door, and the way his shadowy reflection appeared on the window in front of Aymon that signaled his approach.

    Aymon turned and smiled. It was clear that Halen had stopped in his own room for a while, as his short hair was damp from the shower and he was wearing fresh clothes, just his shirtsleeves and slacks, no jacket. ¡°Care for a drink?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. He looked out the window, tracking the small moon as it dipped below the buildings on the horizon. Aymon looked at him, feeling the same warmth that he always felt when he was alone with Halen.

    ¡°I spoke to Ungarti,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Over the phone.¡±

    ¡°He was taking this fairly well when he left,¡± Halen said. ¡°Has he changed his mind?¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so. He sounded calm.¡± He took a contemplative sip of his drink. ¡°I think we were lucky.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t require stating.¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t mean Vaneik surviving,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I just have the impression-- and tell me if I¡¯m wrong-- if it had been Stonecourt security that stepped in, he would have caused much more of a fuss.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡±

    ¡°You and Ungarti share a favorite among my apprentices.¡±

    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t pick favorites,¡± Halen said.

    Aymon chuckled, then put his glass down on the windowsill. ¡°Of course you shouldn¡¯t. But you clearly taught her well.¡±

    Halen inclined his head, still looking out the window. ¡°I¡¯m glad you think so, though I don¡¯t know how much credit I can really take. Instincts are harder to teach than mechanics, and I only taught them for two weeks.¡±

    ¡°How was she taking things?¡±

    Halen didn¡¯t respond for a moment. ¡°She was understandably shaken, initially.¡±

    ¡°Initially?¡±

    ¡°Maedes reported that she and Kino were about to break in to find me while I was dealing with Wyson.¡± Wyson was the name of the attacker, one of the few verifiable pieces of information that had been gotten from him.

    ¡°Maedes stopped them, I assume? Or did they discourage themselves?¡±

    ¡°She stopped them,¡± Halen said. ¡°Talked them out of it, anyway.¡±

    Aymon nodded. ¡°Did you tell her to?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°She took the initiative. She was a good choice to assign to Yan.¡±

    ¡°I trust your judgement,¡± Aymon said. ¡°If she hadn¡¯t stopped them?¡±

    Halen shook his head. ¡°I am glad that I didn¡¯t have to deal with them.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re going to have to learn how things work eventually,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I don¡¯t think there would have been any harm in letting them in.¡±

    ¡°Eventually, Aymon.¡±

    ¡°If they¡¯re curious about things¡­¡± He trailed off.

    ¡°Forgive me for wanting to protect them,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°You¡¯re forgiven,¡± Aymon said. He leaned on the windowsill, his fingers splaying out against the white painted rim, the glass cold against his shoulders even through his cassock and cape. ¡°I suppose I¡¯m protecting them, as well, so we both share some blame.¡±

    On a day when Halen was feeling better, he might have smiled at that, but he just nodded now. ¡°When are you going to take them to the Emperor?¡±

    ¡°When the Emperor demands it,¡± Aymon said. ¡°And not sooner.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m surprised that wasn¡¯t tonight.¡±

    ¡°Hah. I suppose I should expect a message that they want to see Yan any day now.¡±

    ¡°You should warn her what it¡¯s like.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that would help,¡± Aymon said. He drummed his fingers on the windowsill. ¡°Maybe the Emperor won¡¯t demand for a while. Herrault only brought me there early because¡­ We never felt the same way about the experience, anyway.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Halen said. ¡°Perhaps the Emperor is capable of respecting your pedagogical choices.¡±

    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    ¡°For whatever they¡¯re worth.¡± A silence fell between them, and Aymon gazed at Halen, who continued to look out the window at nothing, or perhaps at his own reflection in the dark glass. ¡°How are you, Halen?¡± Aymon asked after a moment.

    ¡°Fine,¡± Halen said. ¡°I took care of what needed to be taken care of.¡±

    ¡°I know. Thank you,¡± Aymon said. Wyson was dead; everything that could be learned from him had been learned; what was left of the trail would be investigated.

    Halen¡¯s posture was stiff, and he still wasn¡¯t looking at Aymon. It wasn¡¯t as though Aymon needed to be looked at, but he sometimes wished he had Halen¡¯s gift, to know what the other man was feeling. He knew, on an intellectual level, of course, what Halen must be thinking. But there was a difference between an intellectual knowing that Halen had spent his evening very slowly killing another man-- feeling it himself all the while-- and having an understanding of the feeling, the kind of understanding that caused Halen to stand here, straight-backed and tense. All Aymon could feel was his own tenderness towards Halen, and his unspoken hope that his love was a salve.

    Aymon leaned forward and ran his hand down Halen¡¯s arm, until he reached his hand, heavy and sturdy. Halen was still as Aymon lifted his hand, running his thumb over Halen¡¯s knuckles as he did.

    ¡°I certainly didn¡¯t expect the evening to go this way,¡± Aymon said idly.

    ¡°Of course not.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m surprised you didn¡¯t feel anything from him beforehand.¡±

    Halen shook his head. ¡°He was dressed as staff and hid far away from me. I¡¯m sure he knew what to expect.¡±

    ¡°I suppose we haven¡¯t had the element of surprise in that respect for a while.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°Maedes told Yan and Kino about me.¡±

    ¡°Hah. Wonder what they think of that?¡±

    ¡°I expect they both think it¡¯s very unpleasant.¡±

    ¡°But you can¡¯t even feel Kino, can you?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°Not most of the time.¡± He smiled a little. ¡°It¡¯s a nice change. Even if she doesn¡¯t like it, I don¡¯t have to know.¡±

    ¡°And yet Yan is your favorite.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help it,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°A pirate who likes my spacer apprentice. Never thought I¡¯d see the day.¡±

    ¡°You never much liked imagining the future.¡±

    Aymon felt briefly uncomfortable at that. ¡°No,¡± he agreed.

    ¡°Are you worried?¡±

    ¡°You would know better than I,¡± Aymon said, and he lifted Halen¡¯s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles. Although it was probably his imagination, Aymon thought he smelled the tang of blood still on Halen¡¯s well-scrubbed skin. Halen touched Aymon¡¯s cheek, very gently.

    ¡°You¡¯re not, but maybe you should be,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°Why would I worry when you¡¯re with me?¡±

    Halen said nothing at that, just stroked the grey hair at Aymon¡¯s temple. Aymon took a half step forward so that he could put his hand on the small of Halen¡¯s back and lean onto his broad chest. He could hear Halen¡¯s breath, his slow heartbeat, feel the heat of his body, smell his soap and the light smell of his fresh laundry. Halen¡¯s hand was heavy on the back of Aymon¡¯s neck.

    ¡°I hope you¡¯re not worried,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°No.¡± Halen¡¯s voice was a low rumble, one that Aymon could feel in his own chest, standing together as they were. He suspected that Halen was lying, but he let it go.

    ¡°Good.¡±

    They stood silently for a moment, Aymon simply enjoying Halen¡¯s presence. There was still tension in Halen¡¯s body, in the way that he was holding himself too still, the way his hand¡¯s movements on Aymon¡¯s head and neck were restrained to the point of being jerky, still holding himself back from some echo of the violence of the evening. Aymon would have liked to loosen that restraint, though he wasn¡¯t sure if that was for Halen¡¯s sake, or his own.

    ¡°Tired?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Some,¡± Halen replied. ¡°You?¡±

    ¡°Some.¡± Aymon tilted his head up, asking with his eyes for Halen to bend down and kiss him, which he did.

    <hr>

    Halen was gone from Aymon¡¯s bed the next morning when Aymon woke up, which was the way things usually went, though it never ceased to cause him mild annoyance. One of his vices was the enjoyment of a luxurious morning in bed, and another was that his taste in lovers ran towards those who could not bear to linger while there was work to be done. Aymon wasn¡¯t lazy-- far from it-- but there was something to be said for the simple pleasure of not getting up until he wanted to get up. And if Halen had remained there in bed with him, that may have been far later than the duties of the day allowed for.

    Still, he pictured the moment that Halen had woken, perhaps just as the sun was beginning to stain the horizon red. Had Halen laid there and watched him sleep, for just a second? Aymon envied him the pleasure. It was exceedingly rare that the roles were reversed, and Aymon got to watch Halen sleep; the few times it happened were perfect beacons in his memory.

    But the duties of the day did weigh on Aymon, and before he got up, he sent a message to Yan, asking her to meet him for brunch. The apprentices were scheduled to have the day off, but that sometimes meant little.

    Yan responded to Aymon¡¯s message while he was in the shower, and he couldn¡¯t tell if her relentlessly formal tone with him meant that she minded the interruption to her day off or not. He met her in his usual dining room at Stonecourt, the one for meals with a small and casual entourage. His apprentices had eaten there with him several times, so it was not Yan being unable to find the room that led her to be a few minutes late; Aymon was already halfway through his iced coffee when she arrived, though he had ordered the food to be held until she made it.

    The morning sun was streaming in through the windows, touching the white tablecloths and bouncing light all around the room, glittering on the cutlery and the buttons on the shoulders of Yan¡¯s cassock. The light did nothing to disguise the fact that Yan looked tired, her eyes half-lidded and her smile, professional as ever, wan. Her hands were halfway to the pockets in her cassock, as though she wanted to hide them away, but couldn¡¯t quite bring herself to be that informal, and so instead she was simply wiping her palms on the black fabric with tensed arms. She held herself with a stiffness that reminded Aymon so strongly of the way Halen had stood the night before that he almost commented on it, but instead he just held out his hand and smiled at her to sit.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for summoning you on your day off,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Yan said. ¡°I know that flexibility is important.¡±

    Aymon chuckled. ¡°This isn¡¯t a job interview, Yan.¡±

    ¡°I know; we already had that.¡±

    She was funny. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Fine,¡± she said. She was glancing out the window at the garden, not looking at him.

    ¡°I¡¯d hope that I deserve a little more honesty than that from you.¡±

    The corners of her mouth turned down, but she stifled the frown and said, in a clear voice, ¡°If you want to know how I¡¯m feeling, you should ask Halen.¡±

    ¡°Trust me,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I do. But he¡¯s not here right this second, and I¡¯m told that it¡¯s difficult to get an accurate read on you when you spend half your energy thinking about how much you hate pirates every time he¡¯s in the room.¡±

    The minute flinch of embarrassment that she gave was amusing. She looked down at her plate. ¡°Sorry,¡± she said.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize. Either to me, or to Halen. He understands well enough. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t have him in the room when I spoke with Vaneik, yesterday. He says the way that spacers get antsy around him makes his skin crawl.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Halen likes you, you know,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°He¡¯s said as much.¡±

    ¡°Do you not believe him?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± Yan didn¡¯t seem to have an answer. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, does it?¡±

    ¡°It matters to me that you¡¯re able to work together,¡± Aymon said. ¡°But I think you are.¡±

    Their brunch came in then, pancakes and sausages for the both of them, along with coffee and juice for Yan. The momentary distraction interrupted their conversation. Aymon said the blessing, and then they both ate silently for a while. Yan kept sneaking glances at him, as though he wouldn¡¯t notice her looking, and he was amused by it, the combination of silly timidity and boldness. There was no need for either, of course. She was his apprentice; the rules were different.

    ¡°He appreciated that you called him for help, last night,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know who else to call.¡±

    ¡°You were being watched. Stonecourt security was already on their way.¡±

    Yan nodded. ¡°Is Guildmaster Vaneik--¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s fine,¡± Aymon said. ¡°He¡¯ll keep this quiet. There¡¯s no reason to make a fuss about it.¡± He sipped his coffee.

    Yan hesitated for a second, then said, ¡°What happened to that man?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s dead.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you send him to the courts?¡±

    ¡°What would the courts do?¡± Aymon asked. ¡°The matter is taken care of. It makes no difference if he was executed by Halen or by a tribunal¡¯s judgement. Assassination is a capital crime.¡±

    Yan looked down at her food, mashing a pancake to a syrupy sludge with the back of her fork.

    ¡°Do you disagree?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not my place.¡±

    ¡°Certainly it is,¡± Aymon said. ¡°You, or Sid, or Kino, will rule one day, and as First, you will have unilateral ability to pronounce judgement. It¡¯s only a matter of time before you will have to make choices like this. If he had gone before a tribunal, there would have been endless discussion of the matter, and tensions between the Guild and the Imperial government would be even worse than they already are.¡±

    ¡°I suppose,¡± Yan said, though he wasn¡¯t sure that she was entirely convinced. ¡°Did Halen find out anything useful?¡±

    ¡°Some. The man was part of a criminal organization here on Emerri. And those kinds of people have ties to pirates; considering as this was an attack on the Guildmaster, and a weakened Guild is good for pirates, I¡¯d say that¡¯s one avenue that¡¯s worth pursuing. But we don¡¯t know much. We¡¯re trying to trace the money.¡±

    Yan nodded.

    ¡°Ungarti was complimentary of you, by the way,¡± Aymon said, neatly cutting and eating some pancake. ¡°What do you think of that?¡±

    ¡°I assume that you know what happened in our conversation,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I do.¡±

    She seemed distinctly uncomfortable. ¡°I don¡¯t want him to think that I¡¯m not loyal to you.¡±

    Aymon tried not to smile. ¡°I believe Ungarti¡¯s feelings about the loyalty of apprentices are far more colored by his own experience than the truth,¡± Aymon said. ¡°He might suspect that Olms and Thule are Imperial agents. But I have no problem trusting you, Yan.¡±

    Her eyes narrowed a hair, but she said nothing.

    ¡°You have something to say.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not complimentary,¡± Yan said.

    Aymon raised an eyebrow. ¡°That only makes me want to hear it all the more.¡±

    ¡°If you trust me, or Sid, or Kino-- why were you watching us?¡±

    ¡°Does it bother you?¡±

    She fiddled with her napkin. ¡°You know about Kino?¡± Neither of them apparently wanted to directly answer questions.

    ¡°I know she uses vena on a fairly regular basis, yes,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°And you¡¯re not going to do anything about it?¡±

    Aymon considered his words carefully. ¡°There will come a time when she will need to stop, and I¡¯m sure it will be sooner, rather than later. But that¡¯s a conversation that she and I will have, and not something that you need to concern yourself with.¡±

    ¡°Or Halen and her,¡± Yan muttered under her breath, unable to contain herself.

    Aymon laughed. ¡°Yan, I think you can rest assured that I have done more drugs than Halen has.¡±

    She looked up at him sharply. Aymon¡¯s lips twitched in a smile. ¡°It¡¯s not as though I was a stick in the mud in my Academy days,¡± he said. ¡°And, besides, for pirates, such things are far more valuable than fiat. Halen may have occasionally been paid by the gram, but that means that, for the intelligent, there is value in not getting addicted.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re unkind to him,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Yan said again.

    ¡°I mostly find it funny. You and he are more similar than you are different.¡±

    Yan scowled. ¡°I don¡¯t see the resemblance.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s easy for me to trust you, not just because you¡¯re my apprentice, but because I understand what the loyalty of those who grew up on ships is like.¡±

    ¡°And you don¡¯t think that makes me too loyal to the Guild?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said, confidence in his voice. ¡°I¡¯m sure that it makes you loyal to your captain, specifically, but he is not here. And, in his place, I am.¡±

    Yan considered this for a second, then nodded. Aymon smiled at her. ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question,¡± she said.

    ¡°About being watched?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t really describe that as an activity that has anything to do with trust. It¡¯s more about being able to understand and predict the world,¡± he said. ¡°To prepare myself. If you want to call that a lack of trust, I can understand, but I do not see it that way.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± she said. She seemed uncomfortable, and not like she was going to press him on it.

    ¡°God led you to me, or me to you. You and Sid and Kino. That¡¯s the only thing that I need to know to trust you.¡±

    She finally met his steady gaze, then, her eyes appreciatively wide. ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Ungarti doesn¡¯t have that understanding, which is why he believes that not only are his apprentices not to be trusted, but that he can peel off mine to do with as he wishes. I wouldn¡¯t put too much stock in what he thinks. For all his virtues, he isn¡¯t like us in the least.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Does that reassure you?¡±

    ¡°About that, yes,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°But about other things?¡±

    She finished her cup of juice before responding. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m in over my head. There¡¯s a lot that I¡¯m realizing I don¡¯t know, and if I think about that too much¡­¡±

    ¡°If you weren¡¯t capable, you wouldn¡¯t be here,¡± Aymon said firmly.

    She nodded, but looked away.

    ¡°And as for things you don¡¯t know,¡± he said, ¡°it¡¯s true that there are plenty.¡±

    She looked at him, and her voice was a little defensive. ¡°If I hadn¡¯t gone to look for Halen last night, would you have told me what happened to that man?¡±

    ¡°Would you have asked?¡± Aymon replied. He could answer questions with questions all day.

    There was an odd tone in her voice when she said, ¡°Kino would have.¡±

    ¡°And would you consider that an admirable quality of Kino¡¯s?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s hard for me to tell.¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s what I¡¯ll say, Yan. There are things that I do not think you are ready to know, or at least, things that I am not ready to watch you learn. But, as the theology says, ¡®All will be revealed at the appointed hour.¡¯ I won¡¯t have any of you succeed me without knowing all that I have to teach, good and bad. Now that you¡¯re formally introduced as my apprentices, I¡¯m going to start including you in a lot more of the real workings of government. You¡¯ll get up to speed quickly, especially when I start sending you out to work independently, which I hope will be soon.¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°And, I will say, if you have a direct question, I do not have reason to believe that I would lie to you about the answer.¡±

    ¡°Did you think that Guildmaster Vaneik was going to be in danger?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I would never have allowed you to go with him, if I did. I may not like the Guildmaster, but there is great value in keeping him alive, at least until his fated replacement is older and wiser.¡±

    Yan nodded. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°Did you really think that I would send someone to kill the Guildmaster?¡± Aymon¡¯s voice was amused.

    Yan looked away.

    ¡°What, tell me what you¡¯re thinking, Yan.¡±

    ¡°Well, you couldn¡¯t exactly have Halen do it.¡±

    Aymon laughed, and Yan was clearly startled, but she cracked a bit of a smile. Aymon considered telling Yan that if he had wanted Ungarti to be dead, he would have done a far better job of it, but then he decided that she did not need that piece of commentary from him.

 Your Last Chance to Disco

    Your Last Chance to Disco

    The summer slipped fully into fall, and then winter settled over Yora with its characteristic thud, covering the sidewalks with such heavy snow that Yan considered investing in a pair of snowshoes for her walk between her apartment and Stonecourt in the mornings. But even the most brutal winter melted off into a drizzly and cold spring five months-- half a year-- into Yan¡¯s apprenticeship.

    Her life had settled into something approaching familiarity, if not routine. She didn¡¯t feel like she was fully secure in her position, not like she saw Sid pretend to be, but she was less lost whenever she learned some new information, or followed Sandreas to some event or meeting. Faces and names, places, events, connections, all started tying together like a web in her mind. She could see, now, the way that members of the Imperial Council talked about each other, the factions that existed, the way that arguments played out, and the way that each side of any issue would try to court Sandreas, carefully picking their words and their battles.

    Before her apprenticeship, Yan had thought of the running of the Empire in vague and indistinct ways. Taxes and transport laws and new colonies and the way that pirates were dealt with were all matters relevant to her as a spacer, so she had followed these things with mild interest, though had always considered them external to her life. After all, one of the exchanges that was made in the Guild¡¯s charter was that, while they were able to operate very independently, they were offered no representation in the Council. So it was up to the Guild, if the Guild had any interests, to curry the favor of individual planets, and ask that their interests be represented. Even when Yan had technically been able to vote on Emerri, she hadn¡¯t bothered exercising that right.

    Now, though, she recognized who the power players were, and she understood some of how she was expected to speak with them as Sandreas¡¯ apprentice. Although she had always had respect for him, watching the subtle way he played the political game, she was almost in awe. She was sure it was just accurate predictions based on gathered intelligence, but Sandreas always seemed to know exactly where the winds were blowing within the Imperial Council, and how to take aside one or two people-- and not even always the loudest voices on whatever issue-- and strike something that resembled a deal but wasn¡¯t.

    Although, in the end, Sandreas had ultimate authority within the Empire, he was always careful to make sure the Council operated as the primary law-making body, and not himself.

    ¡°It is vital,¡± he explained to Sid one day, ¡°that the Council continues to think of itself as a valid entity.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sid asked, putting his feet up on the coffee table in Sandreas¡¯ office. Sandreas glared at him, and when Sid refused to move his legs, Kino reached over and pulled him sideways, so that his feet returned to the floor with a heavy thump.

    ¡°Because the whole system relies on their willing collaboration,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°The system is fragile, in its way.¡±

    Sid just narrowed his eyes at that.

    In the five months of their apprenticeship, Yan only saw Sandreas truly exercise his powers as the Empire¡¯s ultimate authority once. The Imperial Council, with its two chambers, had failed to certify the budget for the upcoming year. Sandreas had called both chambers of the Council together, not allowing them to go to their planned end-of-year recess, and had stood before them in what felt like a blaze of anger.

    ¡°If this legislative body refuses to perform its sacred task,¡± he had said, ¡°I shall have no choice but to use the power vested in me by God and the Emperor to ensure that there is strong continuity of governance. Each of you have a duty towards your constituents; I have a duty to every citizen of this Empire. Even if you neglect your duty, I shall not neglect mine.¡±

    Either the shame or the threat of losing their power had worked, and the budget had been presented to Sandreas to approve, which he had done with only minor edits.

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure if she would ever be able to perform this kind of delicate dance, and she certainly wasn¡¯t sure she could summon to her face and voice the righteous fury that Sandreas could wield better than any weapon. Still, at least she took some comfort in the fact that Sid and Kino probably couldn¡¯t do that, either.

    She would consider herself friends with the both of them, though she wasn¡¯t sure that Kino and Sid would have considered themselves anything approaching the same. At the very least, Yan liked them, and spending time with them, regardless of Sandreas¡¯ presence, was pleasant.

    Yan had gotten much better at sign, though she still wouldn¡¯t consider herself anywhere near fluent. It was enough to casually converse with Sid without him needing to slowly spell out every fourth word, anyway. Kino hadn¡¯t reached anywhere near that level of mastery, or at least she always seemed uncomfortable the few times she deigned to use sign, but she must have developed some kind of receptive bilingualism, because she watched Sid and would respond aloud to whatever he signed. This saved Yan the pain of having to awkwardly translate, whenever Sid got in a tetchy mood with her.

    Life was good, in its own way. Yan was busy, but not so busy that she never saw Sylva. They typically had dinner together at least a few times during the tenday, and Yan often invited Sylva to Stonecourt itself to have lunch, when they could both get away from their duties for a second. She hadn¡¯t yet introduced Sylva to Sandreas, and Sylva¡¯s wrinkled nose whenever she saw Sid and Kino were enough for Yan to make a point of keeping them away from each other, but, once, Halen had stopped Yan in the hallway as she was bringing Sylva to the staff cafeteria.

    Sylva tensed at his approach. Yan had told her all about Halen, and so she had inherited Yan¡¯s distrust.

    ¡°Good afternoon, Yan. Who¡¯s this with you?¡± Halen very obviously knew who Sylva was, since she had been coming and going with Yan for months, and nothing like that could have escaped his notice. His small smile could have indicated that he was feigning ignorance for Sylva¡¯s sake, or that he was being obnoxious on purpose. Yan couldn¡¯t tell.

    She quickly made the introductions anyway, not wanting to cause a scene in the hallway. ¡°Sylva, this is Halen; he works for First Sandreas. Halen, this is my friend from the Academy, Sylva Calor. She works in the IKRB.¡±

    ¡°I can tell,¡± Halen said. ¡°Blue cape. Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Calor. I¡¯m always happy to meet Yan¡¯s friends.¡± He held out his hand to shake, and Sylva did, wary as ever.

    ¡°Pleasure.¡±

    ¡°Did you need me?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said, ¡°Just passing through.¡± This was an obvious lie, and Yan narrowed her eyes. The way he was looking at Sylva made Yan slightly uncomfortable, as though he knew something that she didn¡¯t, and Yan did not like that feeling in the least. There was a very awkward moment of silence in the hallway, the kind that Halen knew just how to draw out into true discomfort. Just before Yan was about to say something, anything, to let the both of them escape, Halen said, ¡°Ms. Calor, perhaps Yan would like to invite you to dinner with herself and First Sandreas, sometime.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sylva squeaked. ¡°I couldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Of course you could.¡± Halen smiled. ¡°Aymon would like to meet you, I¡¯m sure.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Yan said. She liked Sylva, and she liked Sandreas, but the thought of those two spheres of her life intersecting made something in her stomach turn. It was already almost too much to have Sylva and Halen meeting here in the hallway.

    ¡°Think about it, anyway,¡± Halen said. He patted Yan¡¯s shoulder with his heavy hand, the gold ring on his finger glinting in the hallway light, then turned and headed back the way he had come, giving lie to his statement about only passing through.

    ¡°What was that about?¡± Sylva asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said, but it had made her completely lose her appetite for lunch.

    Yan¡¯s usual routine involved waking up early in the mornings, getting breakfast on her walk to Stonecourt, then sitting down at her office desk to read the morning briefing that had been prepared for her. After that, there were any number of tasks that she could be assigned by Sandreas. Most often, she acted as Sandreas¡¯ representative in minor functions where she would not be expected to provide any real input, like sitting in on meetings discussing Fleet strategy at the front, or colonization planning, or attending breakout sessions of the Imperial Council as an observer. Yan got the feeling that these types of things were more for her own education than they were for needing Sandreas¡¯ representative to really be present. She found the colonization meetings the most interesting and she disliked all of the Fleet meetings. After a while, when she found her name penciled in on a meeting invite with Admiral Vaalks, Yan tried to trade away that duty to Sid or Kino.

    The one time Sid had taken her up on that offer, Yan had been relieved, but the next day, Sandreas had summoned her into his office, alone. Yan knew she was in trouble from the first moment; when she knocked on the door, it opened with the touch of his power, and the wave of it washing over her felt colder than usual. She stood uncomfortably in front of his desk while he ignored her for a moment, shuffling some papers around. She was aware that this was a power play of his, but that didn¡¯t stop it from working on her. She shifted her weight uncomfortably from foot to foot.

    Without looking up at her, he said, ¡°Do you know why you are assigned the duties you are given?¡±

    ¡°To learn,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°If you understand that, then I feel like I shouldn¡¯t have to be having this conversation with you about abandoning them, Yan.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Even with just this minor telling off, the first one she had had in years, she felt truly wretched.

    ¡°Why did you trade assignments with Sid?¡±

    ¡°He is more interested in the Fleet than I am.¡± It was a half truth, at best.

    Sandreas finally put down the papers he was fiddling with and looked up at her. ¡°Sit, Yan.¡± She did, taking the seat in front of his desk in a hurry. ¡°This would be an easier conversation to have if you had just been skiving off to go on a date with your girlfriend.¡±

    ¡°I-- What?¡±

    ¡°Shirking responsibilities out of laziness is easier to deal with. But you aren¡¯t lazy. So why is it that you¡¯re not doing the things that I need you to do?¡±

    She looked down at her hands. ¡°I just don¡¯t enjoy the Fleet strategy meetings,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    She debated lying. Halen wasn¡¯t in the room, for which she was very grateful, so she might have been able to get away with it, but she wasn¡¯t a particularly good liar, and Sandreas was waiting for her answer. Instead, she continued to look at her hands on her lap, twisting her fingers together. ¡°The pictures of the  Lionheart ,¡± she said. ¡°I couldn¡¯t watch that footage.¡±

    The  Lionheart  was a Fleet ship that had been completely destroyed in an engagement en route to the Tyx starzone. Yan had seen the pictures of the destroyed ship, its rocky outer shell breached and trailing wreckage like guts spilling out of a body, and had needed to excuse herself from the meeting where the engagement had been discussed. She had sat in the bathroom with her head in her hands, trying to get the mental image of that happening to her family¡¯s ship, the  Iron Dreams , out of her mind.

    Sandreas was silent for a moment. Yan shifted in her seat, not looking at him. ¡°You understand,¡± he said, ¡°that in the future, you will not have the luxury of looking away.¡± His voice was cold, stiflingly unpleasant.

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± she said, falling back into formality that she had dropped with him long ago.

    ¡°You are lucky.¡± His voice changed slightly, and Yan looked up at him. Sandreas had turned, and was looking at the side of the room, where a photograph was hung, one Yan had seen many times before, of young Sandreas and his own master, First Herrault, along with two other people that Yan assumed were his fellow apprentices. ¡°I learned from First Herrault¡¯s mistakes, and I do not ever plan to send you, or Sid, or Kino, to actively direct a warzone. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s necessary.¡± Sandreas¡¯ lips were pursed. ¡°I think that had First Herrault not wanted to test us like that, Obra would be your master, instead of me.¡±

    Yan nodded, not sure what to say.

    ¡°But just because I do not plan on sending you to the front does not mean that you can ignore what is happening there. You must understand what is at stake.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    ¡°The adversary is an existential threat to every single person living within the Empire.¡±

    ¡°I know, sir.¡±

    ¡°I understand that it is unpleasant,¡± he said. ¡°It is dirty, painful work. But choosing to remain ignorant because you do not like it means that you will be a less effective leader in the future. You cannot choose not to learn the operation of the Fleet, because someday, you may be at its head.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°When Obra was killed, I immediately had to take their place at the front, because First Herrault didn¡¯t trust the Fleet leadership. It was one of her biggest weaknesses, wanting to do everything herself, trusting very few people to act as her proxies.¡± He shook his head. His tone was quieter, now. ¡°I send you places in my stead already, because I need you to begin to form relationships with the rest of the Empire. You must trust the Fleet leadership; they must trust you. You must trust the Council; the Council must trust you. The same for the Guild, the same for the IKRB, the same for the governors. There¡¯s a reason I introduced you at the Governors¡¯ Dinner-- it was to offer them, and by proxy, all the Empire, a chance to know you first.¡±

    ¡°I understand, sir,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°If you make it clear through your actions that you do not like the Fleet, you will not be able to form those relationships of trust. If you flinch away from the sacrifices that the Fleet must make, you will not be seen as a leader who respects and understands those sacrifices.¡±

    Yan nodded.

    ¡°I¡¯m planning to take a trip to inspect the front, very soon. One of the three of you will come with me. I will not demand you come now, but think over what I¡¯ve said.¡±

    ¡°I will,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, sir.¡±

    Sandreas stood, and Yan hastily followed him up. He walked around the desk and put his hand on her arm, a gesture that Yan wasn¡¯t sure if she should interpret as comforting or controlling. Perhaps it was both. He led her out of the room.

    Yan kept thinking about Sandreas¡¯s words over the next few weeks, mulling over the idea of visiting the front. She couldn¡¯t make up her mind if she should ask to go or not. On one hand, she had absolutely no desire to go see it, even if it would be perfectly safe. On the other, Sandreas  knew  that she wouldn¡¯t want to go, and so perhaps she should go against her nature and volunteer. She was playing mind games with herself, and still was, when Sandreas asked to meet the three apprentices in his office late one afternoon.

    Halen let them into the office, and Yan paid him as little attention as possible as she sat down on the couch between Sid and Kino. There was no sign of Sandreas, and Sid elbowed Yan in the side, flashing her a sign asking where he was. Yan shrugged back.

    Kino was more willing to ask Halen, who had silently gone to stand over by the window, looking out at the darkening sky. ¡°Where¡¯s Sandreas?¡± she asked.

    ¡°He just received an urgent message,¡± Halen said. ¡°He should be back presently.¡±

    ¡°Urgent?¡± Yan asked. ¡°What about?¡±

    ¡°It was from Guildmaster Vaneik. They¡¯re speaking over the ansible now.¡±

    Yan frowned. A thick silence fell over the group, though Yan thought she was the only one who was made uncomfortable by it. Kino kept picking at the sleeve of her cassock, thoroughly destroying the hem, while Halen stared out the window and Sid leaned back on the couch, a picture of relaxation.

    Sandreas came back into his office about five very long minutes later, glancing at the three apprentices and saying, ¡°Oh, good, you¡¯re here.¡± He must have been fairly agitated, because he didn¡¯t sit, and instead stood with one hand on the edge of his desk, the other on his chin. He looked at the apprentices for a moment, all three of them watching him for a hint at what they should be doing. ¡°I was going to discuss my plans to visit the front with you,¡± he said, voice sharp, ¡°but plans seem to have changed.¡±

    ¡°What did Vaneik want?¡± Sid asked.

    Sandreas nodded slightly before speaking, as though he was running down some list in his head. ¡°The Olar situation collapsed,¡± he said.

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°One of the ships that has a route to Olar, the  Canticle of the Sun , was attacked by pirates in the Olar starzone.¡±

    ¡°Did they survive?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°They were able to hold out long enough to jump away.¡±

    Yan relaxed back onto the couch. ¡°Good,¡± she said.

    ¡°Unfortunately, however, Vaneik is making good on his promises. He¡¯s temporarily rescinded all Guild charters for ships to trade with the planet.¡±

    Sid and Kino were nonplussed at that, but Yan winced. ¡°That¡¯s not good.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°Granted, this was his largest playing card, and he¡¯s clearly hoping to have the situation resolved quickly. His own captains will be unhappy with him if he doesn¡¯t give them their normal routes back.¡±

    Disruption in routes meant disruption in schedules meant disruption in profits; Yan knew plenty about that, and was nodding slowly. ¡°So is he going to just wait for Olar to capitulate?¡±

    Sandreas leaned back against his desk. ¡°Not precisely. Olar making assurances that they were solving their pirate problem has been going on for months now, but they clearly haven¡¯t done enough. He wants us to step in, and put our own pressure on Olar.¡±

    ¡°Does he want you to put a Fleet ship in the system?¡± Sid asked.

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    ¡°I think he¡¯s accepted that won¡¯t be happening, unless it¡¯s our measure of last resort,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°And nobody wants things to go that far. No, he¡¯s probably just hoping we mobilize the forces on the planet with sub-light ships, to chase down anybody who¡¯s trying to land shuttles crammed with contraband.¡±

    ¡°Seems reasonable,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°It¡¯s not ideal. Olar would probably balk at it still, but they¡¯re going to have some time to sit and stew, so by the time that we propose that, or something similar, they¡¯ll probably agree.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to right away?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°It takes time to travel to Olar,¡± he said.

    ¡°You¡¯re going?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°No.¡± Sandreas¡¯ smile was thin. ¡°Two of you are.¡±

    Sid leaned forward in interest. ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°I told Yan a while ago that she would have a choice. One of you will be coming with me to the front, to Tyx-III. The other two will head to Olar as my representatives. It should be a relatively easy task, to get Olar and the Guild to come to an agreement. You may decide who¡¯s going where.¡±

    Yan looked at Sid and Kino on either side of her. Although she was still wondering if Sandreas wanted her to go to the front, she had the thought that putting Sid and Kino on some sort of task where they had to work together was asking for trouble. She would wait for them to volunteer themselves. She didn¡¯t have to wait long.

    ¡°I want to go to the front,¡± Kino said.

    Halen seemed startled by that, turning away from the window where he had been silently listening to look at Kino. Sandreas just nodded. ¡°Good. Then Yan, Sid, you¡¯ll be heading to Olar. Kino, you and I will be taking my ship, the  First Star , which means that you two will be hitching a ride with the Guild. I trust that¡¯s not a problem?¡±

    ¡°Which ship will we be on?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Vaneik told me that the  Sky Boat  is willing to take you to Olar. Do you know them?¡±

    ¡°Vaguely,¡± Yan said, trying to wrack her memory for if any member of her family had married into that ship, or the other way around. She was coming up blank, though.

    Sandreas nodded. ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll get along with them just fine. And Sid, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be on your best behavior.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never been on a Guild ship before,¡± Sid huffed. ¡°I went back and forth to Galena every summer for ten years.¡±

    ¡°Slightly different when you¡¯re a VIP,¡± Halen intoned from the back of the room.

    ¡°When are we leaving?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°The  Sky Boat  will be here in five days,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°I¡¯m releasing you from all duties aside from briefings until then, so make whatever preparations you need to. And, Kino, you and I will be heading out in two weeks.¡±

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you going to Olar?¡± Sid asked, as though the thought had just crossed his mind. ¡°Won¡¯t the Guild see it as a snub?¡±

    ¡°Vaneik will also be sending one of his apprentices to deal with the problem. If it¡¯s a snub to anyone, it¡¯s a snub to Olar, and they¡¯re the ones causing the problem, so they don¡¯t have room to complain,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°And you¡¯re going, because I think you can handle this. You have to be independent eventually, and this is an easy task, as far as things go. All the pressure is coming from the Guild. You just have to offer a way to relieve it, which I will give to you.¡±

    ¡°What do you think?¡± Sid asked, turning to Yan and elbowing her again. ¡°Think we can handle it?¡±

    She felt less sure than she sounded when she smiled and said, ¡°Yes, of course.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Sandreas said.

    <hr>

    One thing that Yan wasn¡¯t entirely looking forward to was telling Sylva that she was leaving on an extended trip, because she knew that Sylva would not take the news well. The journey to Olar and back, given travel time and how long they would probably need to stay on the planet, would likely take at least a thirtyday, probably even closer to a month. Yan and Sylva hadn¡¯t gone that long without seeing each other since-- Yan did the mental math-- their seventh year at the Academy, when Sylva¡¯s parents refused to let Sylva spend her summer vacation on the  Iron Dreams.

    Yan had texted Sylva the next morning, asking if she wanted to get dinner, because there was something that she needed to tell her, and Sylva had texted back immediately.

    > yes, I¡¯d love to

    > tbh there¡¯s something that I need to tell you too.

    Yan didn¡¯t think that she had ever received a less encouraging message, and so she spent the whole day when she should have been studying or packing for her upcoming trip alternating between meditating and watching mindless television.

    She had agreed to meet Sylva at a nearby, very nice restaurant. Yan arrived before Sylva did, and sat at their small table near the back, nervously twirling the water around in her glass and watching the other patrons of the restaurant. The place was dim, so she couldn¡¯t see their faces, but the muted sounds of sparkling conversation washed over her with the soft music, and took her out of her own head, at least a little.

    Sylva appeared at the door, about ten minutes late. It was the kind of thing that regularly happened, so Yan had been expecting it. Sylva locked eyes with Yan from across the room as she came over, a weird smile on her face.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Yan said as Sylva sat. ¡°Glad you could make it.¡±

    ¡°Sorry for being a little late.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t bother me,¡± Yan said, smiling. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d abandon me.¡±

    Sylva laughed a little. ¡°I¡¯m glad.¡±

    Although both had told the other that they had something to talk about, it was abundantly clear that neither of them really wanted to mention whatever they were thinking about, at least not immediately. Yan ordered some wine, and when it came, they both raised their glasses to each other.

    ¡°Cheers,¡± Yan said.

    Sylva smiled at her, though there was something uncomfortable about her posture. ¡°Cheers.¡± She took a sip. ¡°How has your day been?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, to be honest,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m feeling a bit overwhelmed.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sylva asked. ¡°You look fine to me.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Yan fiddled with her glass some more.

    ¡°What¡¯s whelming you?¡±

    ¡°A lot of things, I guess. First Sandreas has started putting more responsibility on me, I think. Or, it feels like responsibility, even though maybe some of it doesn¡¯t actually have to be done by anyone.¡± She wasn¡¯t sure she was making sense.

    ¡°More Fleet meetings?¡±

    ¡°Haven¡¯t had one of those in a couple days,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m glad about that, at least.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Have you been following the whole Olar thing?¡±

    ¡°Only as much as you¡¯ve told me,¡± Sylva said.

    Yan explained the developments of the situation, though she omitted the fact that she and Sid were going to be travelling to Olar. Although telling Sylva that she was leaving had been the reason she had asked to meet, she suddenly didn¡¯t want to spoil the mood by bringing it up. She was sure that Sylva would be unhappy, and she wanted to at least wait until they had enjoyed their meal. The food came, and Yan quickly wrapped up her drawn out explanation of the Guild¡¯s politics.

    ¡°Well, Sandreas should just send a Fleet ship,¡± Sylva said dismissively. ¡°No pirates would come anywhere nearby if they knew one of those was waiting for them to jump into the system.¡±

    Yan shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t think he can spare any.¡±

    Sylva pursed her lips, then gestured with her fork. ¡°I¡¯m sure that he could, if he wanted to.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Yan said. ¡°How have you been?¡±

    Sylva heaved a bit of a dramatic sigh. ¡°You know how it is.¡±

    ¡°Not really, no,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°My mentor refuses to acknowledge that I am terrible at meditating. Even though the amount of pain that we collectively go through every time she makes me is just so much.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not as bad as you make it sound. I¡¯ve seen you do it. You managed to graduate from the Academy, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Barely,¡± Sylva muttered, looking away.

    ¡°And your mentor wouldn¡¯t do it with you if she really couldn¡¯t bear it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she has God¡¯s own patience for making me do it, for whatever reason, even if she can¡¯t keep a thought straight about anything else.¡±

    ¡°Do you not like her?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I love her. She¡¯s great. I just suck at my job.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know,¡± Sylva said. ¡°Since you¡¯re good at yours.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about that,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Come on, you¡¯re good at everything.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s definitely not true.¡±

    ¡°Name one thing you¡¯re bad at.¡±

    ¡°Cooking,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s because you never do it. Name another.¡±

    ¡°Swimming.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t count.¡±

    ¡°I nearly failed that painting class we took together.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t ¡®nearly fail.¡¯¡±

    ¡°It was a pity pass.¡±

    Sylva laughed, some of the weird mood broken. ¡°Well, maybe we¡¯ll both get kicked out of our apprenticeships for being bad at them.¡±

    ¡°And then what would we do?¡± Yan asked, wanting to disagree that this would ever happen, but knowing that Sylva wasn¡¯t likely to be dissuaded from her pessimism.

    ¡°Your family would take us in, right?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, they would.¡±

    ¡°Perfect,¡± Sylva said. ¡°That¡¯s our fallback, then.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Yan said with a smile. ¡°Captain Pellon loves you, so that wouldn¡¯t be a problem.¡±

    ¡°Even though I¡¯m barely tolerable as a crew member.¡±

    Yan chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m sure if we went to live there permanently, you¡¯d be put to real work, and you¡¯d catch on fast.¡±

    ¡°You know what? Maybe our fallback plan should be to go find an out of the way spot in the woods and just build a cabin there, and then nobody could make us do anything.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just being lazy,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°And what if I am?¡± But Sylva was smiling.

    They finished their meal and ordered dessert: strawberry shortcake for Sylva, fried ice cream for Yan. Yan ate hers slowly, tapping through the crisp shell with her spoon and then eating the ice cream tiny scoops at a time. She kept looking up at Sylva, wondering if she was going to say whatever she had wanted to talk to Yan about. Sylva, though she speared her delicately arranged dessert much more aggressively than Yan did hers, seemed to be making the same calculation, sneaking looks at Yan and half-opening her mouth to say something, though she never did, and would cram another bite in her mouth to cover the movement. They both knew that they would go their separate ways after dinner, so they were coming up on that unspoken, self-imposed deadline.

    Yan couldn¡¯t bear it any longer. Her ice cream was melting into sludge on her plate. ¡°You mentioned that you had something you wanted to talk to me about?¡± she asked.

    Sylva¡¯s face flushed red, her freckles standing out on her cheeks. ¡°You did, too.¡±

    ¡°You first,¡± Yan said. ¡°Since you won¡¯t like what I have to say.¡± Sylva looked at her with wide, alarmed eyes, and Yan backtracked a little. ¡°It¡¯s not that bad,¡± she said. ¡°Just a stupid work thing.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sylva said. ¡°Okay.¡±

    There was a momentary silence. Sylva wasn¡¯t meeting Yan¡¯s eyes, looking just off to the side of her, and Yan looked down at her plate to avoid the uncomfortable gaze.

    ¡°Promise you won¡¯t laugh at me, okay?¡± Sylva asked.

    ¡°Why would I laugh at you?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m really fucking stupid.¡±

    ¡°No--¡±

    ¡°Yan¡­¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    And then it all came out in a rush, the words spilling out from Sylva as though she couldn¡¯t contain them. ¡°I think I¡¯m in love with you, and I have been for a really long time, and I just can¡¯t keep pretending that I¡¯m not anymore, and maybe you already knew that, I don¡¯t know, and I know that you probably don¡¯t feel the same way but I just have to say something, because I¡¯m losing my mind, and because I feel like if I don¡¯t you¡¯re going to, I don¡¯t know¡­¡± And then she trailed off, voice choked up, still not looking at Yan.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know.¡±

    She didn¡¯t entirely know what to do with herself. Sylva kept looking at her, waiting for some sort of sign or signal, but the spoon was just dangling loosely from Yan¡¯s fingers, and she couldn¡¯t quite look at anything directly. The inside of the restaurant suddenly felt too warm, and Yan wanted to escape from the situation, get away from whatever feelings were churning around in her stomach, unidentifiable.

    ¡°I¡¯ve fucked this up, haven¡¯t I?¡± Sylva said, putting her beet-red face in her hands.

    ¡°No-- Sylva-- I just--¡± Yan tried to say anything to recover the situation, but that seemed impossible.

    ¡°I should go,¡± Sylva said. She fumbled around in her pockets for her wallet, accidentally dropped it on the floor, and by the time that she had finished retrieving it from the floor, Yan had already stuck cash to pay for both their meals on top of the bill.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got it,¡± Yan said. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    Sylva just nodded, though she was clearly on the verge of tears. Still, she managed to ask, ¡°What was it you were going to tell me?¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± Yan still had no desire to admit to it, especially right at this moment, but she said, ¡°First Sandreas is sending me to Olar. To handle negotiations. I¡¯m leaving this week, and I probably won¡¯t be back for a thirtyday.¡±

    Sylva was silent for a moment, half turned away. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s for the best,¡± she said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go,¡± Yan offered.

    Sylva just shrugged, shoulders hunched, then stood. ¡°I¡¯ll see you when you get back, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, of course.¡± Yan tried to put reassurance into her tone. ¡°And I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll ansible call you when I get to Olar.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have an ansible card.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get you one,¡± Yan said. ¡°I promise.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Sylva¡¯s voice was flat. ¡°Have a good trip, I guess.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try,¡± Yan said. Sylva started walking away, and Yan grabbed her arm, stopping her. ¡°Hey, Sylva.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± She looked at Yan with an expression that perfectly balanced on the line between hope and shame.

    ¡°Thank you for telling me,¡± Yan said. She let go of Sylva¡¯s arm.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I guess.¡± And then she ran out, dodging out of the way of the waiter who was coming to collect the bill.

    <hr>

    Yan walked home to her apartment, feeling bad in a way that she couldn¡¯t quite define. Sylva¡¯s confession kept running through her brain, and while she could focus on those words, there was something stopping her from pulling her own feelings to the forefront of her mind. Every time she asked herself the important question, how did she feel about Sylva, she became so uncomfortable that she pushed it away.

    Sylva was the best, and at times only, friend Yan had. They had lived together in the Academy dorms for ten years. They had spent practically all of their free time together for just as long. Until Yan had taken her apprenticeship, that was.

    She thought back to how distraught Sylva had been over that, when Yan had told her that they wouldn¡¯t be living together. And she thought, too, about how so many of the times that she had invited Sylva out to eat, or to hang out at her apartment, had been tinged with a kind of quiet desperation, especially when it came time for them to go their separate ways. Neither of them wanted the other to leave, but Sylva more so.

    Maybe this was just Sylva¡¯s way of asking Yan to reassure her of her place in her life. That must be it.

    Yan took the stairs up to her apartment and encountered Sid standing out in the hallway in his shirtsleeves, eating a slice of pizza and staring out the window to the street. He jammed the pizza in his mouth so that he could sign hello to Yan as she approached.

    ¡°Did you see where Kino went?¡± Sid asked.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Kino. She just left. I wonder where she is going.¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t see her on the street,¡± Yan signed.

    ¡°I saw the two of you pass each other.¡± Sid frowned.

    ¡°Are you sure? I would have said hello if I saw her.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure. I¡¯m deaf, not blind.¡±

    Yan rolled her eyes. ¡°Why do you care where Kino went?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like she has any business going out.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s allowed to go on a walk.¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± Sid signed, pointing down the street. ¡°There¡¯s Kino¡¯s minder.¡±

    Indeed, the person who had been assigned to watch Kino, filling the same role as Iri did for Yan, had appeared on the dark street corner, looking both ways as though confused about where Kino had gone. It was strange, but this strangeness had temporarily distracted Yan from her thoughts about Sylva, so that was at least a blessing.

    Sid looked at Yan eagerly. ¡°Let¡¯s follow her. See where she went.¡±

    ¡°Her minder lost her. Why would we be able to find her?¡±

    Sid ignored her protest and grabbed her arm, tugging Yan at a run all the way back out onto the street. They headed in the direction Sid claimed that Kino had gone, and just stuck to the main street. Yan, who was not that invested in this, could nevertheless feel Sid using his power to search for Kino. She didn¡¯t think he would find her; Kino was, for whatever reason, remarkably hard to find, in a way that Yan couldn¡¯t quite put her finger on. Once she had caught hold of Kino¡¯s presence in the power, Yan immediately recognized it, and would wonder why it had felt so hard to identify, but as soon as she let go of that feeling, even for just an instant, it went back to feeling as though Kino was invisible, some kind of weird blank spot in the universe.

    Sid dragged Yan along, seeming to have more of an intuition about where Kino was than Yan did. He huffed aloud as they jogged down the street, ¡°I followed her this way once, but then lost her a little ways from here. Maybe she went the same direction.¡±

    Their speed and Sid¡¯s random guesses paid off, because after a minute, they saw Kino cross the road at a busy intersection, neatly dodging in between cars just as they came to a stop at the light. When she reached the other side of the street, she paused, then turned and looked directly behind herself at Sid and Yan. They were too far away to see the expression on her face, but it was clear that Kino knew she was being followed, and when she began walking again, it was slower, allowing Yan and Sid to catch up. They did, running the rest of the way towards her, barely making it across the street before the light turned green again.

    ¡°Why are you following me?¡± Kino asked in her monotone voice, as soon as Yan and Sid were close enough to hear her. She didn¡¯t turn around to look at them again, continuing to march straight ahead.

    ¡°You lost your minder,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t think we were good enough trackers to find you when she couldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I let you find me,¡± Kino said.

    Sid glanced at Yan, who shrugged. ¡°Where are you headed?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Club Blackstar,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Is that the club where all the Academy students go?¡± Sid asked. ¡°Or was that the one on, uh, 28th Street?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°I don¡¯t know where they go. This is where I go.¡±

    ¡°You dance?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°No.¡±

    Sid rolled his eyes, but they both followed Kino further and further away from the city center. It was a long walk. Kino was inexhaustible, and kept a steady, fast pace. Yan¡¯s feet ached after a while, and she was cold in the spring night air. Kino, who wasn¡¯t even wearing her cassock, seemed unaffected, though Yan couldn¡¯t see how. Sid had jammed his hands into his pockets to stay warm.

    The sound of the club was apparent even before they turned the corner. The music throbbed out in rhythmic thumps, accompanied by neon flashing lights, splashing out into the darkness of the street. There was a long line of people trying to get in, but Kino walked directly up to the bouncer, yelled, ¡°I¡¯m here for Mahmoud,¡± and was ushered in, along with Yan and Sid.

    Although on the street, wearing their cassocks and capes, they had stood out like sore thumbs, the interior of the club was very dark, so they were hardly visible at all. The music was a hammer on Yan¡¯s ears, so loud that she could barely register it as music, but Sid was grinning and stepping in time to the beat, following Kino through the shoulder to shoulder crowd. Kino walked right up to the huge speakers at the front of the room, then waved at the DJ, bathed in green light, who looked up, saw her, then made a ¡°one moment¡± motion, and jerked his head behind him.

    Clumsily, Kino signed, ¡°Be right back.¡±

    ¡°Can I come?¡± Sid asked.

    ¡°No.¡±

    Kino immediately turned and vanished into the crowd, leaving Yan and Sid by themselves. Sid was still grinning at Yan. ¡°Want to dance?¡±

    ¡°I hate it here,¡± she signed back. ¡°Too loud.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s dance,¡± Sid insisted.

    Yan didn¡¯t have the mental presence to argue with him, so assaulted was she by the noise. Sid pulled her into the crowd, away from the speakers just enough that she could think. He put his hands up, dancing in a very naive, though not clumsy, way, urging her to move with him. They were mere inches apart, pressed together by the heavy crowd of anonymous bodies, pushed and pulled with the rhythm of the music.

    Yan looked at Sid. She could feel his power reach out towards her, an invitation. There wasn¡¯t enough space for Yan to sign to him and she didn¡¯t want to try to yell over the music, so she was forced to grab his hand, speaking to him through that physical connection in the power. ¡°What about Kino?¡± she asked mentally.

    ¡°Who cares? Come on, Yan.¡±

    She thought briefly of Sylva as Sid was pushed against her, chest to chest, and maybe it was her desire to not think about that, or the fact that she couldn¡¯t bear the noise in the club alone, but she nodded.

    They moved in tandem, hands together. Yan closed her eyes against the flashing lights, and then it was just her and the throb of the music in her bones, and Sid right there next to her, hot and alive, his power touching hers, letting her in.

    And then they were together, sharing that meditative space that Yan was only ever used to using in quiet contemplation with someone else, not here on the dance floor. Sid took some control of that mental space, and the sound of the club vanished, replaced by a blessed-- if strange-- dead silence. Yan was fixated on that for a second, and then noticed the way that Sid felt the music, the hum in the soles of his feet with the music¡¯s bass, urging him to move, the visual rhythm of every dancer on the floor moving together.

    Yan, the more experienced dancer, controlled their movements, totally synchronised. Sid was laughing, or maybe it was her who was laughing, the sound coming out of one of their mouths, or both, registering as a huff of breath out of their noses, Sid¡¯s grin on both their faces.

    I should have gone to those Academy parties,  Sid said in their shared mental space, accompanied with an image of what he supposed they looked like. It was rather inappropriate. Yan pushed it back and offered a fear about getting in trouble, and he returned a mental shrug and wink.

    You ever dance?  Sid asked.

    A memory rose to Yan¡¯s mind, her whole family stomping and whirling in the  Iron Dreams ¡¯ mess hall, all the tables pushed to the side of the room, her uncle Maxes making his fiddle shriek and wail, Captain Pellon sounding out the verses with his authoritative voice, Yan tripping over her younger cousins as they rushed onto and off of the makeshift dance floor. It was a memory from the summer, and Sylva had been there, standing on the edge of the room, not quite sure how to join in the festivities, and Yan had grabbed her by both hands and spun her around and around and around.

    The memory was a tender one, and, although it came from Yan, she tried to shy away from it once she realized exactly how tender it was, the way her mental gaze had lingered on Sylva standing uncomfortably at the edge of the party, how she had noticed her auburn braids catching the light.

    What¡¯s the matter?  Sid asked.

    Unbidden, the image of the dinner she had just left came to her head, along with the gnawing dread that she had destroyed something precious rose up within her.

    You idiot,  Sid said, but left it at that.  Look, there¡¯s Kino.

    Indeed, he turned both their heads to look at her, emerging from a dark doorway near the stage. She pushed her way through the crowd, ducking under elbows and dodging knees, ignoring with a flat stare anyone who tried to touch her.

    She recognized immediately that Yan and Sid were sharing a mental space, and Yan was moved to offer her a hand, not wanting her to feel left out, though she could feel Sid laughing at her.

    She doesn¡¯t care , Sid said.

    ¡°Join us?¡± Yan asked aloud, still holding out her hand to Kino, who was standing stiff as a board among the swaying mass of bodies.

    ¡°Do you want me?¡± she asked. Yan, for the first time, realized how Sid was able to understand spoken language. Seeing through his eyes, the words Kino had spoken appeared projected on his glasses: subtitles. She was momentarily distracted by this, and Sid offered her a diagram of how they worked, though Yan pushed it away in order to focus on answering Kino¡¯s question.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she said.

    Kino considered for a second, then took Yan¡¯s hand, closing her eyes and moving ever so slightly to the rhythm of the music. She slipped into the meditation with them quickly, though it was odd-- it was as though she was there and not there at the same time. Yan could see through her eyes when she opened them, and Kino¡¯s body moved in synch with her and Sid, but touching Kino¡¯s mind was like attempting to look through the dark glass of a two way mirror. There was nothing there but Yan¡¯s own curious intentions, until Kino noticed Yan trying to look, and a dark amusement flashed onto the surface of the glass, though it felt somehow as though it was coming from Yan herself, the foreign feeling rising up inside her, reflecting in the mirror what Kino wanted her to see.

    There¡¯s nothing to it at all,  Kino thought, or Yan thought-- she couldn¡¯t really tell.

    Sid was unaffected by this strangeness.  What did you come here for?  he asked.

    Sid¡¯s hand reached into Kino¡¯s pocket, and all three of them felt his fingers close around the bag of pills. Yan shivered with disgust and pulled Sid¡¯s hand away so that she wouldn¡¯t have to touch it anymore.

    Let¡¯s just dance,  Yan thought. And, although the mental voice saying it hadn¡¯t quite been hers, the mirror image¡¯s lips moving without her speaking, she couldn¡¯t help but agree.

 The Dead on Cullodens Field

    The Dead on Culloden''s Field

    The  Sky Boat  was just like any other Guild ship that Yan had been on or seen, and she had seen plenty. She pointed it out to Sid as they stood in Emerri Station, the huge port that sat squat atop the space elevator reaching up from the planet¡¯s surface. Sid, who had also been on his share of Guild vessels going back and forth from his home planet of Galena over the summers, was duly unimpressed by the huge hulk of rock that blinked into existence outside Emerri Station¡¯s windows, then maneuvered with its sub-light engines into position to dock and exchange cargo.

    Yan took one last look at Emerri below them, seeing the edge of the night where the planet turned away from its star and slipped into shadow, the pale greens, the swirling clouds covering the northern continent like a thick blanket. Sylva was down there; Yan could pick out the bright cluster of lights that formed the capital, clinging to the ocean. Sandreas was there, too, and Halen, and Kino. It was strange to have this last glance at Emerri, and have it feel like leaving home, rather than coming home. She wasn¡¯t travelling to her family and the  Iron Dreams , but to somewhere far, far away.

    ¡°Ready to board?¡± Iri asked, coming up behind Yan. Their whole entourage comprised some twenty people: Yan, Sid, Iri Maedes as Yan¡¯s minder, Sid¡¯s minder Hernan, the Fleet lieutenant who was supervising their travel, and the remainder of the group was made up of Fleet soldiers as guards. Yan didn¡¯t know them at all, but they had all seemed friendly and capable enough.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Yan said. Iri grinned and shoved Yan¡¯s shoulder.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to ask,¡± Iri said. ¡°This trip is a tenday-- is that long, for spacers?¡±

    Yan thought about this for a second. ¡°In some ways,¡± she said. ¡°If my family was running between Olar and Emerri, we¡¯d be visiting at least one or two different other places on the way, so it¡¯d probably take us twice that to get between the two planets. But since we¡¯d be stopping along the way, it would be less time between ports.¡±

    Iri nodded. ¡°Makes sense.¡±

    ¡°Have you never been to space before?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I have,¡± Iri said. ¡°A couple times. I used to be in First Sandreas¡¯ personal guard detail, so I travelled aboard the  First Star  several times. But that¡¯s different-- that ship is very fast.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Come on,¡± Iri said, ¡°let¡¯s board.¡±

    It felt doubly strange to be wearing her uniform cassock as the whole group left the rotating rings of Emerri station and headed into the tunnel that connected them to the  Sky Boat  . When she had gone home for the summers, she had always worn a spacer¡¯s jumpsuit-- one marked with the  Iron Dreams¡¯  insignia. She hadn¡¯t stood out at all, then, not even her height, which was perfectly average as far as spacers went. So much of her life had been on board ships, and, in another lifetime, Yan might have been welcome aboard this ship as a journeyman worker, looking for a life outside her family. When they were met at the entrance to the  Sky Boat , her cape flying out behind her made her feel garish and out of place, the weight suddenly strangling her shoulders.

    The  Sky Boat ¡¯s captain, Lida Migollen, was a sharp-faced woman who was shorter than most spacers. Her red hair was cut quite close to her face, and she had a nasty scar that traveled across one side of her nose and down her cheek. She looked at Yan and Sid with an expression that bordered on disdain.

    ¡°You¡¯re First Sandreas¡¯ apprentices, then?¡± she asked, not offering her hand to shake.

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m Yan BarCarran, and this is Sid Welslak.¡±

    ¡°Can he not introduce himself?¡± she asked.

    ¡°No, ma¡¯am,¡± Sid said, grinning and unmoved by Captain Lida¡¯s sharpness.

    Lida did not take that comment as well as Sandreas would have. The way her eyes flicked away from Sid and back to Yan made it clear that she would not be speaking to him unless she needed to. Yan wanted to kick him to make him behave, but it was possible that Lida would not like either of them, regardless of Sid¡¯s behavior.

    ¡°You¡¯re worth more than your weight in gold, the both of you,¡± Lida said. ¡°The changes to our normal route were not insubstantial.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for going to the trouble,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°The Imperial government pays well, at least. Though I question why you didn¡¯t take First Sandreas¡¯ ship.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s visiting the front,¡± Yan said. ¡°This trip was unexpected.¡±

    Lida nodded. ¡°Well, come in. We won¡¯t be jumping again for another eight hours, so make yourselves comfortable. You may join my family in the mess for meals, of course.¡±

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure what the alternative was; passengers didn¡¯t have their own kitchens on ships-- no one did-- so unless they were planning on eating dry rations for the whole tenday crossing, they would be dining with the crew. ¡°Of course,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Glad you do not expect your meals to be catered.¡± And, for the first time, there was a hint of humor in the older woman¡¯s voice.

    ¡°Captain, I¡¯ve been a spacer far longer than I¡¯ve been First Sandreas¡¯ apprentice,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll ever get used to catered meals.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Lida said, voice dry.

    They were ushered into the narrow hallways of the ship itself, then onto the rotating rings, running at about one-third Emerri gravity. Yan adjusted to it immediately, but Sid managed to hit his head on the ceiling when he first stepped into the ring.

    ¡°Why are they running the rings so light?¡± he signed to Yan after he had finished rubbing his head.

    ¡°Personal choice,¡± Yan replied. Her own family typically ran the rings on half of standard gravity. Running the gravity lighter had several advantages. Over the long run, it saved on the wear and tear on the ship, and spacers who were used to it often found it easier to maneuver and work in lower-gravity environments. It could be disorienting for strangers, though.

    Yan and Sid had been assigned rooms next to each other in the passenger section of the  Sky Boat . Because space was at a premium in the ship¡¯s rings, the rooms were small, and they shared a bathroom. This was better than their Fleet accompaniment got, however, who were four to a room and had to use the hall bathrooms. Yan didn¡¯t mind the small space in the least, but Sid wandered into her room through the adjoining bathroom and signed, ¡°How are you going to fit on that bed?¡± with a wry grin. Passenger rooms on ships were sized to fit the standard planet-dweller, and so the bed was shorter than Yan was, stretched out.

    ¡°I fit,¡± Yan replied. ¡°I¡¯m not that tall.¡±

    ¡°Beanstalk.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be my height, too, if you grew up on a ship like this.¡±

    Sid stuck out his tongue, then laid on Yan¡¯s bed, kicking his feet up onto the wall. It was difficult to read his sign from the odd angle he was at, so Yan was forced to stand looming directly over him so that they could converse. ¡°Can¡¯t wait to spend ten days with that captain who hates us,¡± Sid signed.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to be rude.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t rude.¡±

    ¡°You were pushing it. You can get away with things with Sandreas because¡­¡± She shrugged. ¡°He knows how to put up with you. I think you¡¯re supposed to learn how to be more professional.¡±

    ¡°Everyone is going to have to learn to deal with me when I¡¯m First.¡± Sid was still grinning.

    Yan just laughed and shook her head. ¡°I think good money¡¯s on Kino, actually.¡±

    ¡°You have got to be kidding me.¡± Sid reached behind himself and grabbed the pillow to hit Yan with it.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious!¡± Yan yelped. She dodged his blows, and when he stopped, dropping the pillow on the ground, she was able to sign again. ¡°People have seen the way you act, and they don¡¯t like that I¡¯m a spacer. I¡¯m surprised you haven¡¯t looked at the betting market.¡±

    ¡°Sick thing for people to bet on.¡±

    Yan shrugged. ¡°There¡¯s worse.¡±

    Sid was frowning, but asked, ¡°So, what are the actual odds?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know precisely,¡± Yan lied. ¡°Look them up yourself before the ship jumps.¡±

    <hr>

    Dinner that night with the crew of the  Sky Boat  was a slightly awkward affair. Captain Lida was nowhere to be seen, which left her first officer, her son Joun, to do his best approximation of entertaining the important guests during the meal.

    The mess hall was so like the one aboard the  Iron Dreams , complete with large window out into the darkness of space, showing the stars slipping by as the ring rotated. The opposite wall was covered in photographs and memorabilia of the Migollen family, all neatly arranged, smiling redheads. The room was filled with long tables and benches, and everyone got their own food on trays from the serving station that looked into the hot industrial kitchen. One of the tables was just long enough to fit all of the apprentices¡¯ party, plus Joun, who kept sneaking amused glances across the room at some of his family members, who Yan suspected were gossiping about their guests.

    ¡°How come Captain Lida doesn¡¯t like us?¡± Sid asked Joun almost as soon as they had all sat down with their food. Yan cringed and poked at her stir fry and rice with her fork.

    ¡°It¡¯s not that she doesn¡¯t like you,¡± Joun said, taking Sid¡¯s abrasiveness in stride. He had a deep, friendly voice, though Yan could tell that he was looking down on Sid, in the way that all spacers did. ¡°She just hates filing travel plans, and she hates the annoyance of rearranging our route.¡±

    ¡°She didn¡¯t have to take us,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°On short notice, we were the fastest ship available. And she owed a favor, which convinced her to take the job.¡±

    ¡°To whom?¡± Yan asked, curious.

    ¡°Banmei Olms, of the  Neutron Star .¡±

    ¡°And why does owing a favor to him--¡± Sid began.

    ¡°You¡¯re meeting with Yuuni Olms, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure which of Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s apprentices would be there.¡±

    ¡°I would put money on it being her,¡± Joun said. ¡°Vaneik likes to send her places.¡±

    ¡°Not Thule?¡± Yan asked, bringing up Vaneik¡¯s other apprentice.

    ¡°I have no idea what Thule gets up to,¡± Joun said. ¡°But I see Olms running across the Empire like a madwoman. She¡¯s everywhere.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°But my mother just hates carrying government passengers.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sid asked again.

    ¡°Like I said, the route filing,¡± Joun said. ¡°It really defeats the purpose of the Guild charter, for a ship to have to be accountable to port authorities for anything other than getting where they need to go on time.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get that,¡± Yan said. Filing a route with the ports was a risk and a tradeoff-- leaving the places where the ship would be jumping en route meant that if that information was leaked to pirates, the ship would be in danger of being found and attacked, but if the ship was attacked by pirates, survivors might be rescuable, to be searched for when the ship failed to return to port.

    The lead of their Fleet escort, a gangly man named Lieutenant Cesper, spoke up. Cesper was a few years older than Yan, and seemed apprehensive about the responsibility that had been entrusted to him, as well as a little nervous about Yan and Sid. She wasn¡¯t sure why that was, and she hoped that he would get used to them; he seemed nice enough. ¡°It¡¯s required for government contracts.¡±

    ¡°Trust me,¡± Joun said. ¡°I¡¯m well aware.¡±

    ¡°Well, we¡¯re not likely to see any pirates,¡± Sid said.

    Joun chuckled. ¡°No? You don¡¯t think that someone could put a price on your pretty little head?¡±

    ¡°They wouldn¡¯t dare,¡± Sid said.

    Yan certainly hoped that was the case.

    <hr>

    After seven days aboard the  Sky Boat , Yan was both feeling better about the crew and their journey, and feeling the first touches of stir-craziness, the kind that only came from not having any tasks to do. If she had been on her family¡¯s ship, she would have been working shifts around the ship, doing something useful. If she had been at work on Emerri, she would have had a full schedule with new and interesting things to do every day. But here, no matter how she lurked near the greenhouse and asked if anyone might like a hand, or stuck her head in the kitchen and offered to wash some dishes, or wandered down to the workshops and tried to offer her assistance with maintenance tasks, everyone very politely rejected her help. She suspected that they were laughing behind her back.

    She hated feeling useless, and it was making her nauseous and twitchy. Meditating didn¡¯t even really help, because she could feel the heavy pressure of the stardrive in the center of the ship, a constant reminder that she was in space but not at home.

    Sid was also driving her a little insane, as he had absolutely zero problems lounging around doing as little as physically possible, and he tried to explain to Yan exactly how he was entertaining himself. She didn¡¯t understand how he didn¡¯t have the same itchy feeling in his gut, the gnawing uselessness.

    ¡°You grew up on a farm, right?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Yeah. Why?¡± Sid was using the power to peel a bunch of grapes that he had taken from the mess, and was leaving the empty skins in a wet pile on Yan¡¯s desk. It was a rather macabre way of eating a fruit that did not in any way need to be peeled. He levitated the skinless grapes into his mouth one by one.

    ¡°Your parents make you work?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s like, if you were on a farm, and everyone was telling you to just relax, that you didn¡¯t have to do any work, that you could just sit around and let everyone else take care of everything, wouldn¡¯t you feel weird about it?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sid signed.

    ¡°Maybe this is why people are betting against you.¡±

    Sid threw one of the grapes at her face with the power, but Yan used her own to stop it, and the ensuing psychic battle ended with the grape exploding, tiny particles spattering her face. Yan sneezed and wiped her face on her cassock sleeve.

    ¡°How much longer until we¡¯re at Olar and you can feel like a useful human again?¡±

    Yan checked the time. She had a countdown timer on her phone that was timed to the exact length of time between the  Sky Boat  ¡¯s jumps. This ship was marginally larger than the  Iron Dreams  , so its jumps were eight hours, twenty seven minutes apart, rather than the eight hours, eight minutes that Yan was used to from the  Dreams . She knew that amount of time in her bones, because it set a maximum limit of how long she would be able to sleep while aboard; feeling the ship jump always woke her up, no matter how deeply she was sleeping.

    ¡°We just jumped about an hour ago, and it¡¯s twelve more jumps to the outside of the Olar starzone, and then one last one to the planet.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not so bad. We¡¯re almost there. Think of it as vacation.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not, though.¡±

    Sid just shook his head. ¡°Don¡¯t you have any hobbies?¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡±

    He shrugged, then reached behind himself into his open suitcase on the floor, shuffling around some of his underwear until he retrieved a hard bound book, the cover bearing Sid¡¯s name in thick white marker scrawled across the black plastic. Yan had seen it before, sitting on the coffee table the few times she had visited Sid¡¯s apartment, but she had never gotten too close of a look at it, assuming that it was just a notebook full of to-do lists or something else mundane. He handed it to her, and she flipped it open, revealing page after page of detailed graphite sketches, some artistic, others that looked like mechanical diagrams, all done in a very practiced and steady hand.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you drew.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t have a lot of time for it, these days,¡± he signed, then tugged the book back from her.  He dropped it back down onto his lap. ¡°But it¡¯s something to do.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get that.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I have any hobbies,¡± she signed. ¡°At the Academy, I would study, or hang out with Sylva, but that¡¯s not a hobby. I¡¯d go on nature walks when I had some time, but you can¡¯t do that  here .¡±

    ¡°What did you do on your family¡¯s ship?¡±

    ¡°I  worked , egghead,¡± she signed, exasperated.

    ¡°You weren¡¯t working all day every day. There¡¯s always somebody hanging out in the mess playing their instrument. You have one of those?¡±

    ¡°No, I just sang. No one ever bothered teaching me to play anything.¡±

    ¡°You any good at signing?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m alright, I guess. Wouldn¡¯t win any awards, but I liked it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah? Sing me a song.¡±

    Yan just glared at him, and Sid stuck out his tongue. She was about to suggest that if Sid had no better ideas, maybe they could watch a movie, or wander around the ship together, but any thought she might have had was interrupted by a sudden cold sensation, like water running down her spine, as she felt the unmistakable quiver of a huge release of power. It was a sensation that she had heretofore associated with excitement and coming home-- the feeling of a ship jumping into a port where Yan was standing waiting, the  Iron Dreams  arriving to take her home. But here, they were out in the middle of nowhere, and there should have been no ship jumping anywhere near them. She froze, her thoughts grinding to a sudden, panicked halt.

    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

    Sid noticed the distress on her face, because he leaned towards her. ¡°You okay?¡±

    ¡°Does the  Sky Boat  have a--¡± And Yan realized that she didn¡¯t know the sign word for it, so she was forced to speak out loud-- ¡°Gravimeter?¡±

    ¡°How would I know? Why?¡±

    ¡°I think I just felt a ship jump in.¡±

    ¡°You think?¡± Sid gestured to his head in a very sardonic way. ¡°Did you or did you not?¡±

    ¡°I--¡± Yan¡¯s wide-eyed expression must have finally gotten through to Sid, because his face grew serious, and he nodded at her.

    Sid stood. ¡°We should tell Lieutenant Cesper.¡±

    ¡°We should tell Captain Lida--¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll go find Cesper,¡± Sid said. ¡°You tell the captain.¡±

    ¡°She won¡¯t trust me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s her problem, then,¡± Sid said.

    Sid was right, of course. Regardless of if Lida believed her or not, it was Yan¡¯s responsibility to tell her. She hurried up and out of Sid¡¯s room, running through the thin gravity of the ship¡¯s rotating rings with the kind of confidence that only spacers had, searching for anyone who she could report this information to, mainly heading directly for the bridge.

    She caught sight of Joun, the captain¡¯s son and second in command, emerging from the library. Yan called out to him. ¡°Joun!¡± She was out of breath.

    He turned, smiling. ¡°Apprentice BarCarran,¡± he said. ¡°What can I do for you?¡±

    ¡°Do you have a sensitive gravimeter?¡± she huffed.

    ¡°What kind of sensitive are we talking about?¡± he asked, brow furrowing.

    ¡°I felt a ship jump in,¡± she said.

    ¡°Felt?¡±

    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s-- I can--¡± She was struggling to explain herself. ¡°Can you check?¡±

    ¡°How far away?¡±

    This question brought Yan up short. She had no way of knowing how far distant she could sense a ship¡¯s jump. When ships jumped in to a station she was waiting on, she could sense them, but that was always such a close event that she could hardly miss it. She wouldn¡¯t have been able to feel anything while on the surface of Emerri; the crowded feeling of being on a planet compressed her effective range. And she had never felt a ship jumping outside of a star system. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan admitted.

    ¡°Can you tell where it is?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know-- I¡¯d have to-- Maybe.¡±

    Joun was frustrated. ¡°Walk with me, BarCarran.¡± But he was less walking, and more running. Yan followed him towards the bridge.

    She had been on the bridge before as a guest, and it looked the same then as it did now, the same Migollen family members sitting at their various stations. Not many were there, as they were in the middle of waiting to jump again, and nowhere near a port where they would need to be coordinating the unloading and loading of cargo. Captain Lida was nowhere to be seen.

    ¡°Hey! Mikkie,¡± Joun said, getting the attention of a young woman doodling in a notepad at one of the consoles.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Give me the grav readings for the past, what, ten minutes.¡±

    ¡°Grav readings?¡± She sighed. ¡°Fine.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t give me attitude. You¡¯re supposed to be watching.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what the alarms are for,¡± she said, but she was already pulling up something on her display. ¡°Whoop-de-do.¡±

    She scooted out of the way, and Joun and Yan leaned over the chart. It was a little noisy, the line moving up and down corresponding most likely to one of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s shuttles moving around outside, or the variations in density of the rings as they rotated. But Yan squinted at the chart at the exact moment of time that she recalled feeling the unmistakable sensation of power wash over her. There. There was a blip, a tiny uptick in the gravitational force the ship was experiencing. She pointed it out to Joun.

    ¡°I think that¡¯s it,¡± she said.

    ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡±

    Yan¡¯s heart had settled somewhere down into the pit of her stomach. She felt nauseous. ¡°Yes,¡± she said.

    Joun snapped into action. ¡°Mikkie, go wake up Captain Lida. Chel, I need dogfighters out, now. Shuttles in. Put us on alert. Get people suited up, put everybody else in the saferoom. Let¡¯s move.¡± The urgency in his voice was obvious, and the bridge crew rushed into action. Joun turned to Yan. ¡°You and your party should go to the saferoom.¡±

    ¡°But--¡± Yan began, about to protest that they could be of use. After all, she and Sid were sensitives, and they were accompanied by a whole squad of highly trained members of the Fleet as part of their guard detail.

    The door of the bridge opened, and Lieutenant Cesper strode in.

    ¡°Apprentice BarCarran,¡± Cesper said. ¡°As per our contract with the  Sky Boat , in case of an emergency, we are to evacuate to a shuttle and wait for rescue.¡±

    ¡°But--¡± It went against every bone in her body to evacuate from a ship in the case of a pirate attack. Any self-respecting spacer would have preferred almost anything to the cowardice of running away, as well as the ever-present fear that no one would ever come rescue them, stranded out alone in a shuttle.

    ¡°This is the order that was given to me by First Sandres,¡± Cesper said. ¡°It is my duty to keep you and Apprentice Welslak safe.¡± He was clinging to the tiny sliver of authority he had on the ship.

    Yan looked over at Joun, who was no longer paying her any attention at all.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Sid?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Already boarding the shuttle,¡± Cesper said. ¡°We need to hurry.¡±

    Yan clenched her fists. The last thing she wanted was to abandon Sid by himself. And if Joun and the rest of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s crew didn¡¯t want her to help, she wouldn¡¯t be of much use stuck in the saferoom. With one final glance behind herself at the bridge, Yan gritted her teeth and nodded, following Cesper out and to the shuttle bay.

    The shuttle bay was a hive of activity, their little team checking and loading the shuttle that they had reserved as theirs. Sid was already strapped in to a seat and he waved Yan over. She slid in next to him, and it was only a moment later that Iri filed in too, squeezing in to the cramped shuttle interior.

    ¡°I suppose Captain Lida had her right to complain about us,¡± Iri said. ¡°We¡¯re nothing but trouble.¡± But even her light tone couldn¡¯t shake Yan¡¯s anxiety. She dug her nails into her knees as the pilot of the shuttle closed the last of the doors and started running through the pre-flight checklist, the radio crackling to life to speak with the  Sky Boat  control to open the bay. It took some negotiation. Yan¡¯s heart constricted further as the radio-operator on the bridge of the  Sky Boat  made some comment about abandoning ship. But the oxygen-warning alarms began to wail and flash soon enough, and then the door was open into the peaceful blackness of space.

    No matter how Yan strained her eyes looking out into the starry spread, she couldn¡¯t see any evidence of a pirate ship in the distance. Nor would she, of course. The ship itself wouldn¡¯t dare to approach. It would only be its small army of dogfighters that would come to harry the  Sky Boat , trying to breach its defenses so that they could land a boarding party and kill the whole crew inside.

    The shuttle launched, pressing them all back into their seats as they left the bay, accelerating away from the ship. Pushed back into their seats for what felt like an eternity, no one spoke. After some time, the pilots killed the engine, so that their shuttle would be as undetectable as possible, and simply waited in silence. The  Sky Boat itself was still visible outside their window, and it would be for some time, but it was distant now, and receding slowly into a less and less distinct point of light.

    The pilot and co-pilot were hunched over the controls, their eyes trained on the shuttle¡¯s pathetic sensors, hoping to avoid detection. The radio was silent; the  Sky Boat had no reason to broadcast to her own dogfighters that she had sent out, and likewise the dogfighters had no desire to reveal their locations by sending radio messages back. The only sound in the shuttle was the hum of the electronics, the whirr of the air filters, and the harsh sound of everyone¡¯s breathing. Lieutenant Cesper stared out the window, his thin fingers anxiously stroking the knees of his uniform. Iri looked across at him with a far steadier gaze. Sid had his glasses propped up on his forehead and his eyes closed, his head tilted back against his seat cushion. Yan¡¯s head moved back and forth like a darting minnow, looking between all of the shuttle¡¯s passengers in turn.

    Iri grabbed her hand. ¡°We¡¯ll be fine,¡± Iri said.

    That wasn¡¯t what Yan was worried about, not in the least, but Iri¡¯s heavy hand steadied her, and Yan squeezed it. It gave her the strength to reach over to Sid and take his hand. With his eyes closed, he was completely cut off from the outside world, but his palm was sweaty. When Yan grasped his hand, he entwined his fingers with hers, and she sent a pulse through the power-- communication. They could speak, at least, holding hands like this.

    What¡¯s going to happen?  Sid asked in the power. His hand twitched in hers as he formed the words.

    Yan sent back a jumble of images, diagrams that she half-remembered from her childhood aboard the  Iron Dreams . They had trained extensively against pirate attacks, though none had ever happened in her lifetime. She showed him images of dogfighters emerging from the darkness of space, engines off so that they wouldn¡¯t be detected until they were close, just cruising on momentum, attacking the ship and its defending dogfighters. They would blast open holes in the bay doors of the ship, then hook on great grappling hooks to keep their dogfighters and shuttles steady as their boarding parties climbed down inside. There would be bloody fights in the halls, knife on knife, and the pirates would slaughter their way to the center of the ship. And when they reached the stardrive--

    Sid stopped her. He wanted to know if she really thought the  Sky Boat  would lose its battle.

    Yan didn¡¯t actually know. She knew how many dogfighters the  Sky Boat  had, but she didn¡¯t know how many the pirates were bringing. And that was going to be the determining factor. That, and how well they fought inside the corridors of the ship. The crew of the  Sky Boat  would have the advantage of familiarity with the environment, but she thought about Halen, how huge he was compared to her, or any average sized spacer, and she couldn¡¯t help but shudder. If it came to a knife fight between her and Halen, she would lose, no question about it. And she had to imagine the same thing would happen over and over, within the guts of the ship. If they were allowed to board-- Yan couldn¡¯t keep her thoughts from spiraling.

    Sid snapped her out of it.  Look for how many shuttles the pirates have  , he suggested.  Then you can tell how it¡¯s going to go. We should be able to feel them with the power, if they come close enough to the  Sky Boat,  right?

    That was true. She almost didn¡¯t want to know. From this far out, the power was much more sensitive than any of the shuttle¡¯s sensors, and she would probably even have more information about the impending conflict than even the  Sky Boat herself had. Would it be worse to know a disaster was coming?

    Yan leaned towards Iri, who offered her ear. ¡°Should I look to see how many dogfighters the pirates have?¡± she asked.

    ¡°If you can find out where they are, it will tell us if we need to be running or not,¡± Iri said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you had that much range. I was told you only could stretch a few city blocks at most.¡±

    ¡°On Emerri,¡± Yan said. ¡°In an atmosphere, with everything around-- there¡¯s too much information to process. In space it¡¯s¡­¡± She trailed off, Iri¡¯s thumb stroking the back of her hand. Sid was still squeezing her other hand.

    Yan steeled herself and stretched out her awareness in the power. Since she knew, broadly, the direction the pirates would be approaching from, she could increase her range still further. The power raced away from her, singing across the emptiness of space unimpeded, only sending a ripple of information back to her when she sensed something: a stray particle of gas, the electromagnetic tingle of light passing through her awareness, the fuzzy tug of gravity around where the  Sky Boat  sat heavily in space, and-- there-- the cold tang of metal, the whisper of confined air, and the hot and alive sensation of pilots and bodies in dogfighters and waiting shuttles.

    Yan had been on the  Sky Boat  long enough to recognize what their crew felt like in the power. Though she wouldn¡¯t have been able to call them out by name, or say what they looked like, it was like how she had recognized Iri before she had even met her: everyone¡¯s presence in the power was distinct and memorable, and she could easily distinguish them from the pirates. Yan took her count, and she coiled tighter and tighter in seat as she did. Iri¡¯s thumb roved over her hand, but it no longer comforted her in the least. There were almost twice as many pirates in dogfighters than there were from the  Sky Boat,  and that number didn¡¯t even include the lurking shuttles full of boarding parties. Even if each one of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s dogfighters were victorious, the ship was still in trouble. Yan wasn¡¯t sure if they could even inflict enough damage to deter the pirates from boarding-- they were committing so many people to this operation, they must be truly desperate and unlikely to give up, no matter the cost.

    Sid could feel her anxiety.  What¡¯s happening?  he asked. She loaned him her awareness, showing him the locations of the pirate shuttles and dogfighters, and their overwhelming numbers.

    They¡¯re going to lose? Sid asked.

    The thought of it nearly crushed Yan. She was paralized for a moment, but could feel the pirates creeping closer with her power still outstretched and something in that spurred her into action. In a voice that nearly broke, she said, ¡°Lieutenant Cesper, we have to go back.¡±

    ¡°Yan--¡± Iri said, but when she saw the feverish light in Yan¡¯s eyes, the glint of the sparse colored lighting inside the shuttle glinting off Yan¡¯s black irises, whatever objections she had died in her mouth, and she squeezed Yan¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Apprentice BarCarran,¡± Cesper said, ¡°it¡¯s my sworn duty to keep you and Apprentice Welslak safe. We will not be returning to the  Sky Boat until the danger has passed.¡±

    ¡°We have to,¡± Yan said. ¡°There¡¯s too many pirates, I can tell you where they are! We have to at least warn them.¡±

    The pilot spoke up. ¡°That would reveal our location, Apprentice,¡± he said. ¡°The  Sky Boat ¡¯s crew are well trained. They can handle this.¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Yan begged. ¡°They¡¯re not going to be able to keep them out.¡±

    Cesper¡¯s expression was one of stifled pity, and his fingernails dug into the legs of his pants. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Apprentice BarCarran. I can¡¯t disobey orders from First Sandreas.¡±

    Sid squeezed her hand.  What do you want me to do? he asked.

    Yan didn¡¯t know what she wanted, but she returned the squeeze, and that gave Sid enough of an excuse to move.

    Sid pulled his hand out of Yan¡¯s and unbuckled himself. ¡°Order the pilot to go back, Lieutenant Cesper,¡± he said aloud. His glasses were back on his nose, but his eyes were still closed. ¡°We go back, or I swear to God I will take control of this ship and have Yan fly us back herself. Don¡¯t think I won¡¯t.¡±

    Sid¡¯s minder Hernan, Iri¡¯s counterpart, reached out to grab Sid¡¯s cassock sleeve and pull him back into his seat, but Sid evaded the grab nimbly, without even opening his eyes. Hernan could have tried harder, but he didn¡¯t.

    ¡°I can and I will,¡± Sid said, repeating himself. ¡°Your choice, Lieutenant.¡±

    Cesper looked up at Sid, now towering over him by virtue of floating untethered in the shuttle¡¯s confined interior. He looked back at Yan, his expression pleading for her to get Sid to back down.

    ¡°Please, Lieutenant,¡± Yan said. ¡°We have to help them.¡±

    The air of authority went out of Cesper in a slump as he looked between the two apprentices. ¡°How close to the  Sky Boat  do you need to be?¡±

    Sid opened his eyes at last. He must have been using the power to understand what Cesper had been saying. He looked at Yan for an answer to the question.

    The reality of what she had been pleading to do, now that she was in a position to do it, chilled her. Her voice belonged to someone else when she answered, flat-toned but strangled, ¡°Close enough to see them on the scope.¡± She wouldn¡¯t be able to use the power to sense the locations of the broad field of ships while she was acting.

    Hernan tugged on Sid¡¯s sleeve. ¡°Sit down so we can accelerate,¡± he said. Sid complied, if reluctantly, narrowing his eyes in an implicit threat that he wouldn¡¯t be tricked. But he sat down.

    Yan took his hand again. Through the power she offered him an image, a task: use the power to cool the engines and exhaust while they accelerated, so that they wouldn¡¯t show up as a bright dot on the pirates¡¯ sensors. He nodded and closed his eyes.

    You¡¯ll take care of the rest? he asked.

    We¡¯ll stop accelerating when we get close enough. I¡¯ll need your help.

    She didn¡¯t have a plan. But she did implicitly understand all of the factors at play, and it hardly mattered that her ideas were visceral rather than logical. She enumerated them in her mind.

    Every spacer intimately understood the physicality of the laws of motion, far better than anyone who had lived on the ground their whole lives did. Every dogfight was a battle of physics. Everyone grasped the amount of strain you could put on your own body and ship while accelerating, the careful lining up of your ammunition¡¯s momentum to strike your opponent, the calculated dance you had to play with the universe itself, almost as much as you were playing against your enemy.

    The image behind her eyes thinking about this was not of dogfighters, but of a shipping container that weighed thousands of tons snapping free of its confines and crashing into a single, tiny, unaware figure.

    She pushed the image away as far as she could, and the thought that replaced it was barely better: Halen demonstrating to them how they could kill, should they need to. He had said that the three apprentices didn¡¯t have an instinctive grasp on the momentum of a bullet, and that may very well have been true, but Yan did not lack a grasp of the weight of dogfighters and the limits of a human body.

    These fights, between the dogfighters, and with the  Sky Boat , they were operating on an even playing field: one where the rules of physics were the same for everyone. But Yan and Sid¡­ If she chose, Yan could bring a dogfighter moving in her reference frame at a hundred kilometers a second to a dead halt without even breaking a sweat. It could be moving faster than her eyes could track, and she could still probably do it. She wouldn¡¯t even have to touch the person inside with the power. In fact, she couldn¡¯t, and that was what made it deadly.

    By the time that their shuttle was within visual range of the action, the fight had already begun. At least one of the  Sky Boat  ¡¯s dogfighters was already destroyed, reduced to constituent parts spread out in a wide swathe of space, only identifiable by the barely visible paint job-- blue and white of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s livery.

    Their pilot killed their engines, leaving them drifting still fairly far from the ship and out of harm¡¯s way. Sid shook himself out of the half-trance he had been in, keeping their emissions from showing up on anyone else¡¯s sensors. They were nearly invisible, unless someone knew exactly where to look for them.

    What¡¯s the plan ? Sid asked, looking to her for direction.

    One of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s dogfighters was in trouble. A pirate ship was on its tail, and the spacer kept trying to throw it off by weaving in ever tighter circles, trying to find a way to escape the pirate¡¯s barrage of ammunition. But there was a physical limit to how many times that could be done, and the spacer¡¯s dogfighter was reaching that limit, and would soon be unable to avoid getting hit.

    Holding hands with Sid, Yan mentally pointed out her focus, showing Sid how to identify the dogfighters that were in the most trouble, and then she gathered the power to the surface of her skin-- it was hot and crawling-- took a deep breath, and reached across the gulf of space to take hold of the pirate¡¯s dogfighter. It was moving faster than the shuttle¡¯s cameras could easily track, but once she had it in her mind¡¯s eye with the power, she curled her fingers into its cold metal shell, and brought it to a complete stop in her reference frame.

    The dogfighter itself was unharmed and whole, but the pilot inside, whom she had before been able to feel in the power, vanished.

    She didn¡¯t look with the power, but it didn¡¯t take looking for her mind to conjure in vivid detail the interior of a shuttle exactly like the one she was in, covered in a thin and dripping film of gore, something that had once been a person, dispersed into a fine paste by meeting a hard wall moving at a non-trivial fraction of the speed of light.

    Yan retched, coughing and choking on the bile that rose in her throat but couldn¡¯t be properly expelled without gravity. She gagged and swallowed as much of it back down as she could, then took a shuddering breath and wiped her face on her sleeve.

    Iri rubbed her back, but Yan¡¯s mind was elsewhere, somewhere outside her skin. Sid had stopped looking at the fight to look at her with wide eyes.

    Yan shook her head.  Come on,  she said to Sid.

    That was enough to get him to move, and he pulled his hand out of hers. She could feel him focusing his power, reaching for one of the other dogfighters. But she had to ignore Sid. She had to ignore everything outside of the task that she was performing.

    It became easier after the first time. As long as she spared no time to think between reaching out for one dogfighter and halting it, and then grabbing the next, it could be done without much effort. There was nothing simpler.

    Though she kept her mind as blank as she could, her body still tensed, every muscle clenched, her nails digging into her palms. She didn¡¯t notice how much her jaw hurt from grinding her teeth until she saw the shuttles full of the pirates¡¯ intended boarding parties begin to peel away and race back towards their ship, their few remaining dogfighters turning tail and retreating. Some of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s dogfighters started to chase them, but Yan didn¡¯t think that they would be caught.

    She felt Sid reaching for one of the fleeing shuttles, and she didn¡¯t have enough left inside her to either egg him on or stop him. He looked over at her, and saw only her dead-eyed stare out the window. Sid hesitated for a moment, then just touched the pirate shuttle with his power, and let it go. Yan let out a rush of breath.

    The whole battle-- if Yan could even call it that-- had been conducted in utter silence, and she had tuned out the breathing of the rest of the passengers of the shuttle. It was a shock to hear the pilot speak and request re-entrance to the  Sky Boat ¡¯s bays. It took so long for the ship to respond that Yan became convinced that they wouldn¡¯t at all, that the empty hiss of the radio would continue forever. But then someone responded in the affirmative, and the pilot repeated the instructions, and the familiar tug of acceleration set Yan back into her chair.

    As they approached the ship, Yan could see a gash in its side. One of the pirate dogfighters had managed to bow open one of the bays. They passed the ghost ships, the perfectly untouched pirate dogfighters sitting still, their engines still purring but their pilots vaporized. They dodged the debris of the few fights that had happened before they had returned to the scene. And then they slipped into the bay that had opened its doors for them, turning to settle on an empty spot on the wall, the magnetic hold pulling them into place.

    Yan was exhausted and numb, and didn¡¯t register Iri trying to speak to her, asking if she was alright. She just nodded absently in reply, though she would have nodded in response to any question asked of her. Her jaw was clenched so tightly that her teeth might break. Next to her, Sid had his eyes closed again, and his arms folded across his chest, the fabric of his cassock bunched up in his fists, pulled tight across his back and chest.

    It took a long time for the bay to repressurize, and when it did, before anyone in their party could even open the shuttle and get out, while Yan was still fumbling with her seatbelt with fingers that didn¡¯t feel like they belonged to her, the door at the end of the bay slid open, and Joun Migollen entered, flanked by several of his red-headed family members.

    To Lieutenant Cesper¡¯s credit, he exited the shuttle first and asked, ¡°Is there something you need?¡± while interposing himself between Joun and the two apprentices. The other fleet soldiers in Cesper¡¯s coterie, as well as Iri and Hernan, surrounded Yan and Sid as they exited the shuttle, shielding them from the visible hostility in the Migollen family¡¯s posture.

    ¡°I would like to speak with Apprentice BarCarran,¡± Joun said, spotting Yan among the huddle. They couldn¡¯t very well leave the bay without passing by Joun, so Yan steeled herself and used Iri¡¯s steady shoulder as a lever to push herself forward in the bay, drifting out and away from the group until she stopped herself by scraping her shoes along the floor. Though Joun¡¯s family members were glaring at her with outright disgust on their faces, they almost flinched as Yan came closer.

    Yan could barely form any cogent thought, but the one that coalesced in her brain as she saw the spacers twitch away in fear was strange. Was this the way that she looked from the outside, when she saw Halen?

    Yan came to a complete stop before the waiting spacers. She stood silently in front of Joun and did not meet his eyes.

    ¡°Apprentice BarCarran,¡± Joun said, ¡°I assume that was you.¡± There was no need to elaborate, of course.

    Yan nodded, still silent. She couldn¡¯t open her mouth to give Sid equal credit.

    Joun sounded like he was reading from a script when he spoke next, though he must have had very little time to prepare it. ¡°Captain Lida would like to thank the Imperial government for the services rendered to the crew of the  Sky Boat . As payment, we will waive the expense of your passage to Olar.¡±

    Cesper came up beside her. ¡°I appreciate that,¡± he said. ¡°May we leave the bay?¡±

    ¡°No--¡± Yan managed to croak out. ¡°Mutual defense--¡±

    Though Joun kept his gaze steady and his mouth shut, the younger man at his right hand said, ¡°You abandoned ship,¡± he said. ¡°Don¡¯t pretend like you¡¯re part of  mutual defense .¡±

    Yan could say nothing in her own defense. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. It was true: if there was one thing that a spacer, a true spacer, would never do, it was get in a shuttle and run away from the family ship when it came under attack.

    ¡°We came back,¡± Sid said. ¡°Isn¡¯t that enough for you?¡± He was resolutely ignored by Joun.

    ¡°Furthermore,¡± Joun said, ¡°Captain Lida requests that you remain in your assigned quarters until we reach Olar.¡±

    Sid narrowed his eyes, about to say something, but Cesper said, ¡°We have no intention of causing any trouble for you or the rest of the crew.¡±

    For the first time, Joun deviated from the script. ¡°It¡¯s for your own sake,¡± he said.

    The animosity coming from Joun¡¯s family members was thick in the air. Yan just nodded.

    ¡°We¡¯ll escort you back to your rooms,¡± Joun said, and turned back towards the door. Everyone shuffled after him.

    As they passed through the cold halls of the  Sky Boat , Yan realized that nobody had mentioned that her family would hear about her behavior. She wasn¡¯t even enough of a spacer for her family to be made ashamed of her.

 Caverns Measureless to Man

    Caverns Measureless to Man

    The  First Star  was a different class of ship than any other in the galaxy. She was small and sleek, with her outside a smooth hard rock, not the mined-out asteroids that most Guild ships were built from. Only one gravity ring girded her center. Her small stature made her faster than any ship had a right to be. Since she wasn¡¯t designed to carry cargo, and only a small number of passengers, she could jump in about three-quarters of the time it took a normal ship, or even faster, if she was pushed.

    Aymon almost regretted that it was Kino accompanying him on this trip to Tyx III, rather than Yan, because Yan would have enjoyed touring the First Star . He expressed this sentiment to Halen one evening after dinner, while Halen was sitting and reading on the couch in Aymon¡¯s suite. Aymon was looking over the full text of a report from Tyx III, one that he had previously had summarized to him, but now had time to pore over in detail, since they were well out of contact range while travelling. He had reached a section break, however, and rather than turning the page to the next section, he looked up and simply watched Halen.

    Halen certainly noticed Aymon¡¯s shift in attention, but didn¡¯t look up from his own reading until Aymon spoke, which took some time.

    ¡°Would you have preferred that we brought Yan on this trip?¡± Aymon asked a Halen turned the next page in his book.

    Halen didn¡¯t look up. ¡°No,¡± he said.

    ¡°Really? You would have like to show her the ship.¡±

    ¡°She and Sid work well together. It makes sense for them to go to Olar.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t really what I was asking.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that Yan is happier not being here. Neither going to the front nor being near me are things that she would appreciate.¡± And finally, Halen smiled, though he didn¡¯t look up from his book. ¡°At least if Kino is unhappy, I don¡¯t have to know about it.¡±

    Aymon chuckled. ¡°True. You gave her the tour, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°And what did she think.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. You¡¯d have to ask her.¡± He looked up at Aymon, searching for something in his face. ¡°Would  you have preferred Yan be here?¡±

    ¡°Hm? It doesn¡¯t matter what I would prefer.¡±

    ¡°And yet it matters what I would prefer?¡± Halen asked. His eyes didn¡¯t leave Aymon¡¯s face now. It was a delicious feeling of attention, one that Aymon basked in regardless of how long they had known each other. He smiled languidly, leaning his head on his arm, just watching Halen watch him. ¡°They¡¯re your apprentices, Aymon.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°What you think about them is more important than what I think.¡±

    ¡°Mmm,¡± Aymon said. He was amused by the conversation, and was half joking. ¡°I¡¯m not sure it is.¡±

    ¡°And what would Herrault say about that?¡±

    The line was delivered with Halen¡¯s usual calm, deep voice, but it made Aymon abruptly sit up, on the border between annoyed and angry. ¡°I don¡¯t care what she would say.¡±

    Halen¡¯s eyes hadn¡¯t left him, and he watched him in silence for a moment, then looked away. ¡°I think it would be to your benefit if you made an effort to connect with them,¡± Halen finally said.

    Aymon was silent, waiting for him to continue.

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to upset you, Aymon,¡± Halen said. He closed his book and stood. ¡°I don¡¯t think there¡¯s any benefit to keeping your distance. I¡¯m not trying to keep mine.¡±

    ¡°You couldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°No?¡± Halen asked, and there was a coldness in his voice, one that made prickles rise on Aymon¡¯s arms. He tried to relax, leaning back into his chair, a picture of nonchalance, though Halen would see through him like a pane of glass. It was an act.

    ¡°It¡¯s a working relationship. And none of them seem to have any interest in being¡­ close¡­ with me.¡± It was the wrong word, but he couldn¡¯t find a better one.

    ¡°Do you want to know what I think?¡± Halen asked.

    No, he didn¡¯t. He stood. Halen was still, and Aymon walked over to him and put his hand flat on his broad chest, feeling the rise and fall of his slow breath. ¡°Will you come to bed?¡±

    Halen stroked two fingers lightly from Aymon¡¯s temple toward his jaw. He was restraining himself from telling Aymon what he thought, though it would have been easy for him to send Aymon a thought through the touch, one that he wouldn¡¯t be able to stop.

    Tell me, if you must , Aymon said through the power.

    Halen responded in kind, though it took him a moment. He was putting the words together carefully. It wasn¡¯t that he walked on eggshells around Aymon; he could say whatever he liked, and did, for years, regardless of Aymon wanting to hear it. This was a caution born of love, not just for Aymon, but for the three apprentices. If Halen misspoke, they would feel the fallout.  You fear losing them,  Halen finally said.  But it will not hurt any less to lose them without having cared for them. You will only discover that you have care, and nowhere to put it.

    Aymon frowned. ¡°Fine,¡± he said aloud.

    ¡°Take some time to spend with Kino,¡± Halen said. ¡°Have dinner with her some night.¡±

    Aymon nodded, and Halen brushed his grey-streaked hair back from his temples with his strangely delicate touch.

    ¡°Now will you come to bed?¡± Aymon asked.

    Halen¡¯s response was to tip Aymon¡¯s head up, holding his chin, so that he could lean down to kiss him.

    <hr>

    Tyx-III was a miserable planet. Although it had a breathable atmosphere, the surface was far too hot for human habitation. Even in the cooler parts of the planet¡¯s winter, and far from the equator, the temperature rarely dipped below forty-three degrees, and the humidity only made it worse. The planet had been terraformed in the distant past by its original settlers, and so there was plenty of hardy plant life on the surface in areas. Thick vines and stubby trees lived in depressions in the ground just deep enough to provide some protection from the wind that screamed along the swept, red-rock ground. Still, this did little to break up the view to the too-distant horizon, which seemed uncomfortably far away. Though the planet was large, it was not very dense, and its gravity was only about three-quarters of standard.

    The few structures that were built aboveground on Tyx were for the military bases the Empire constructed as their entryways onto the planet. The airstrip that their shuttle had landed on (with some difficulty) was not far from that complex of short buildings, all built partway into the ground, with sloped roofs for the wind to roll across.

    Aymon stood stiffly under the weather¡¯s assault as he and Kino stepped down out of the shuttle, greeted by an array of Fleet staff, all saluting. To do so, they drew their right hands down across the center of their faces, ending with a clenched fist on their chest. The leader of the troops on the planet, a broad shouldered woman named Loan Lang, was at their front.

    ¡°General Lang,¡± Aymon said, ¡°It¡¯s good to see you again.¡±

    She dropped her salute with a smile. ¡°And yourself, First Sandreas.¡± Although she was wearing the blue formal Fleet uniform, Lang was a sensitive. ¡°I am still surprised you deigned to come visit me out here. It¡¯s a long way from the cozy capital.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve always enjoyed travel,¡± Aymon said. ¡°As you know. How¡¯s your leg?¡±

    ¡°You know, it hasn¡¯t bothered me in years. Or at least, scrambling around in this place has made everything else worse to compensate. Introduce me to your apprentice,¡± she demanded. ¡°It¡¯s too hot to stay out here for long.¡±

    Kino, whose empty gaze had been studying the barren landscape, snapped her attention to Lang. Her face was still, and Aymon couldn¡¯t read anything from her expression. Beads of sweat were already forming on her forehead.

    ¡°Lang, this is Kino Mejia. Kino, General Loan Lang. We attended the Academy together.¡±

    ¡°Pleasure, Apprentice Mejia,¡± Lang said, sticking out her hand to shake. Kino took it, nodded, and said nothing. ¡°Quiet?¡± Lang asked. She glanced at Aymon. ¡°Nothing like Jalena and Obra, then.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said shortly. ¡°Shall we go inside, or must we remain in the heat?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s.¡±

    They all ended up in open-top cars, speeding across the flat rock towards the buildings. At least there hadn¡¯t been any need to build roads on this planet. Kino leaned on the car door, sticking her hand just off the side, letting the wind catch and lift it, like a sail or a bird¡¯s wing.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t come here expecting a positive report,¡± Aymon said as they drove, ¡°but I¡¯d like one if you have one, Lang.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re making progress, but these are approximately the worst conditions that you could ever attempt to wage a war in,¡± she said. ¡°I think you¡¯ll understand much better when we get inside.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve seen pictures. I¡¯m not doubting that it¡¯s difficult.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference between seeing a picture and experiencing it. Here we are.¡± They pulled up to the largest building, and got out. ¡°I can give you the tour, if you¡¯d like, and we can talk plans over lunch.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Lead on.¡±

    ¡°All of the formal activities have been held off until tomorrow, to give you some time to get acquainted,¡± Lang said as she pushed open the door. ¡°It will be just you and me and a few staff to discuss where things stand.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate it,¡± Aymon said, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dimness inside the building.

    Going inside the building was an obvious relief. The air conditioning was a powerful roar over the sounds of the many people were in the lobby, all of whom stopped what they were doing to watch Aymon come in. He ignored them, though Kino looked at them all coldly. Halen brought up the back of their pack, saying nothing. Lang led them all back and through, to a wide set of double doors: an industrial elevator. With her access card, she summoned it, and the doors swung open almost immediately. Cold air whistled up through the crack between the elevator car and the floor. When Aymon reached with his power down the shaft, he reached the end of his power¡¯s range before he reached the bottom.

    His surprise must have shown on his face, at least enough for Lang to read. ¡°It¡¯s deep,¡± she said. ¡°About three kilometers to the bottom, but we won¡¯t go to the bottom.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s at the bottom?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°The long tunnels. They go off towards the more active part of the front.¡±

    As the elevator rattled downwards, Aymon stretched his power out through the rock, feeling the strange pockets of air amidst the stone rushing by. ¡°I can see why it would be inconvenient to sink new shafts.¡±

    ¡°We are at war with the planet itself, Aymon,¡± Lang said. In the more private elevator, some formalities could be dropped between old friends. She turned to Kino. ¡°Are you claustrophobic, Apprentice?¡±

    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Good.¡±

    The elevator came to a shuddering stop, about a half kilometer down, Aymon estimated. They stepped out into the tunnels.

    These red-stone caverns twisted all throughout the planet¡¯s crust, naturally formed in huge numbers. Aymon had read in one of the many briefing on Tyx-III that long ago, volcanic activity had created these pockets in the stone, and that over an incomprehensible period of time, erosion from underground rivers and seeping water had transformed huge amounts of the planet into an underground labyrinth. After humanity settled here, with the surface of the planet nearly inhospitable, they had made the underground their home.

    It was not dark, exactly. There was a bare bulb mounted into the ceiling a few meters distant, and it threw harsh light on the scraggly rock walls. But the walls themselves were illuminated, glowing with a pale moonfire light from every crevice in the rock. Even the floors glowed, though the places where feet had worn the rock smooth were dull and dark.

    ¡°Fluorescent algae,¡± Lang explained, taking the lead as they walked. ¡°It¡¯s quite useful.¡±

    ¡°What does it survive on?¡± Halen asked.

    ¡°It breaks down some chemicals in the rock, from what I understand,¡± Lang said. ¡°But you¡¯d have to ask our xenobiologist for more details. Further down, things can survive on geothermal, but up here, it¡¯s too cold for that.¡± And indeed it was: the air was a slimy damp chill, quite different from outside, though the wind still whistled through the tunnels, lifting Lang¡¯s short hair and making strange noises¡ª high whispers and low moans that sounded nearly human. Kino trailed her fingers along the rock. They took several turns in rapid succession, down branching paths that were marked with signs that Aymon didn¡¯t have time to read. Lang knew the way by heart.

    ¡°I¡¯m curious as to how anyone eats here,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°We have artificially lit greenhouses, the same way you¡¯d have on a ship.  They have a combination of things. A lot of genetically modified plants that accept a symbiotic relationship with some of the native life that¡¯s capable of taking advantage of the environment. Before, they grew a few things hardy enough to survive on the surface, but we put a stop to that fairly quickly.¡± They had to switch from walking shoulder to shoulder to in a line as the tunnel narrowed.

    ¡°Where are you taking us?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°I figured our first stop should be our one tourist destination of note around here.¡±

    ¡°Do tell.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s better to see it in person. It¡¯s about another half kilo, through the back ways.¡±

    ¡°The back ways?¡±

    ¡°I assumed you would prefer the privacy.¡± Aymon couldn¡¯t see Lang¡¯s face, walking behind her as he was, but he could hear the smile in her voice. ¡°These single-body tunnels are shortcuts to many places, but they¡¯re mono-directional by necessity. You don¡¯t want to meet a whole group going the opposite way. So it¡¯s a bit of a winding route.¡±

    They did occasionally hear footsteps and conversation as they passed junctions in the tunnels, but the journey was indeed a solitary one. Aymon glanced behind himself at Kino and Halen. Kino was running both hands flat along the walls as they walked, her fingers dipping and wavering over the bumps in the stone. Halen, when Aymon met his eyes, offered a nod. He seemed at home in the tunnels, though they were nothing like the hallways of a ship, and his head was perilously close to hitting the ceiling in places.

    They walked further. Aymon¡¯s sense of direction was totally confounded by now, and the sensation of being lost and trapped underground began to grow in his mind, making the skin on the back of his neck prickle. He didn¡¯t let his discomfort show on his face, should Lang choose to look back at him.

    ¡°If there was some sort of emergency,¡± Halen said from the back, ¡°do you have easy modes of egress?¡± It was clearly for Aymon¡¯s benefit that he was asking.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Lang said. ¡°The main tunnels are all clearly marked out.¡± When they came to an intersection, she pointed at the notation on the wall. Now that he had the chance to look at it more carefully, he could see that an emergency exit route was marked, along with what the distance was to the nearest elevator. ¡°We have shafts in as many places as we can reasonably sink them,¡± she said. ¡°But this base is quite secure. All of the real fighting is far, far away. That¡¯s the only reason it¡¯s even feasible to have you here. We¡¯re almost there.¡±

    Their small tunnel joined a much larger one, large enough for a quarter-scale rail line to sit on each ide of the tunnel, and room for people maybe thirty abreast to walk in between even with trains present. Aymon took a deep breath in relief at being in this more open space, and Lang glanced back at him, amused.

    ¡°You get used to it,¡± she said.

    Aymon just frowned at her. ¡°How much further to where we¡¯re going?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re here,¡± she said, pointing at a huge set of double doors set into the opposite wall. She walked over confidently, and pushed them open; they weren¡¯t locked. She held them open for Aymon to enter. ¡°Are you scared of the dark, Apprentice?¡± Lang asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said.

    The room they had walked into was some sort of cavernous amphitheater, but Aymon didn¡¯t have time to study it in detail. As soon as the doors swung shut behind him, Halen grabbed his arm, hard, fingers digging into his skin through the fabric of his cassock, and then all of the lights in the room went out.

    Halen sent him a thought through the power.  No danger.

    So Aymon didn¡¯t need to respond to the sudden shock and darkness in any way other than a sardonic, ¡°I¡¯ve never appreciated surprises, Lang.¡± The sound echoed in the cavern, bouncing back and forth through the room.

    ¡°Give it a moment,¡± Lang said.

    His eyes were adjusting, and he saw that Kino¡¯s dark shadow was already traipsing confidently down the thick-carved stairs towards the central stage area.

    ¡°What am I looking for?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me,¡± Lang said. ¡°Look up.¡±

    Aymon did, craning his neck to look at the ceiling of the cavern. There, up on the distant dome of the ceiling, were gigantic, luminous dancing human figures against a field of stars. The expressions on their faces were inscrutable, their arms lifted to the sky. The figures were carved shallowly into the rock, guiding the luminous algae to live there. Artificial lights would have drowned them out completely for how far away they were, but now that Aymon¡¯s eyes had adjusted fully, he could see them as clear as the stars in the sky at night. It gave the strangest feeling of being outdoors, with the wind still blowing through the cavern.

    Kino was down at the bottom floor, the stage area, and she was looking up as well.

    ¡°Can you sing, Apprentice?¡± Lang called down to her. It was clear why she had asked; the acoustics of the room were splendid.

    Obediently, Kino lifted her voice in song, the first verse of the Red King¡¯s Canto. Aymon wasn¡¯t sure he had ever heard her sing before, certainly not this song, and the clarity of it struck him. The shape of the room made it sound like she was standing right beside him.

    ¡°In those days of fire

    There was war between brother and brother.

    There was war between father and son.

    There was war between daughter and mother¡­¡±

    She didn¡¯t sing the whole Canto, since it would have taken some twenty minutes, and she stopped at the end of the first verse. The Red King¡¯s Canto was an odd choice¡ª if he had been asked to sing he would have picked something from Terae¡¯s Canto, perhaps¡ª but maybe it was an appropriate selection, considering their location.

    ¡°Very nice,¡± Aymon said when Kino fell silent. ¡°At the next Solstice, you should deliver the song for me.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°Yan would do better.¡±

    ¡°Consider it,¡± Aymon replied. He stepped down the tall stairs, then turned to Lang. ¡°I assume you didn¡¯t carve this?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she said. ¡°It was the Adversary¡¯s. But it would have been a shame to destroy it, so, for now, it remains for our use. It¡¯s a convenient spot for making large announcements. You¡¯ll greet the base troops here tomorrow.¡±

    Aymon nodded.

    ¡°Shall I turn the lights back on?¡± Lang asked.

    Aymon glanced down the stairs at Kino, who had at down cross-legged on the floor and was leaning back on her hands to look up at the ceiling.

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Let her look a little longer. You and I can go talk strategy. She can join us when she¡¯s ready.¡±

    <hr>

    Aymon and Lang spent the remainder of the day talking about the high level strategy at play on the planet. The goal was to clear out all the scattered resistance in the underground, but this was a difficult task. There were still millions of people, possibly hundreds of millions, living in the caves, and the nature of the caverns made them difficult to locate, and also difficult to fight. There were some methods that could be used to win easily, but Aymon had drawn the line.

    At the end of the day, Aymon was lucky that Lang was called away to address an urgent issue happening some hundred kilometers distant, and so he was free for the evening, including dinner. A small and simple suite had been prepared for his use, and that was where he had his dinner sent. Halen had gone off during his meeting with Lang to inspect the base security, so Aymon arrived alone, and had enough time to shower in the strange rock-hewn bathroom before dinner. When he came out, feeling much fresher, he found that his food had already been delivered by the base staff, and he sat down at the table, waiting for Halen and Kino to arrive.

    When he heard a knock on the door, rather than the door simply opening, he sighed and stood to let Kino in. Before he did, he put a smile back on his face.

    ¡°I see Halen has followed through on his quest to make sure we spend some time together,¡± he said lightly, and gestured for her to sit across from him at the table.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said. ¡°He told me that you wanted to speak to me.¡± Her voice was monotone, and her eyes looked anywhere but at him: the green laminate surface of the table, the ruddy rock walls, the omnipresent glowing fungus in the crack of the ceiling, the just slightly too dim lamps. But she sat down, and immediately began picking at her cassock sleeves under the table.

    ¡°Wine?¡± Aymon asked.

    She nodded, and Aymon poured her a glass before sitting down.

    ¡°Care to say the blessing?¡±

    She closed her eyes and lifted her hands. Very perfunctorily, she said, ¡°Lord, we eat first by the fruits of Your love, and second by the fruits of our labor. May our works and their fruits give You glory, forever.¡±

    It was another very strange choice of blessing, but there was no fault in it, so Aymon didn¡¯t comment on it, and simply opened the metal trays on the table to serve them both. Although he was sure that the food was of far better quality than the usual soldier¡¯s meal, it was still simple: a hearty vegetarian meal of curried beans and rice. Kino didn¡¯t say anything about it, and simply started eating, a rather mechanical set of motions. Aymon watched her in between his own bites of food.

    ¡°How did you enjoy the tour?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°It was fine,¡± Kino said. ¡°I would like to see more of the planet.¡±

    ¡°It seems all the same to me.¡±

    ¡°There are hot springs, further down.¡±

    ¡°You like hot springs?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen one,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°After tomorrow, there may be some time when you could go on a tour of them. We¡¯ll need to do formal activities tomorrow. There¡¯s a meeting with all of the high commanders on the planet¡ª they¡¯ll all be flying in for that. And I also need to give an address to the troops.¡±

    Kino nodded silently.

    ¡°Lang assured me that it¡¯s fairly safe to go sightseeing, if there were any sights that I wanted to see,¡± Amon said. Kino just nodded again. ¡°What did you think of General Lang?¡±

    ¡°You used to know her?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yes. We were close friends when we attended the Academy together. I nearly got her killed, once.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    Aymon smiled, reminiscing. ¡°We took an unauthorized vacation to the wilderness, and she broke her leg while we were rafting, and nearly drowned.¡±

    Kino nodded again.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question.¡±

    ¡°She seems capable. You trust her.¡±

    ¡°True on both counts.¡±

    He ate silently for a second. He wasn¡¯t sure what to say to Kino, but he wanted to say something to her. ¡°What do you think of the situation here?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Of the war?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    For the first time that night, she looked directly at him. He was startled by the cold intensity in her dark eyes. ¡°There are easy ways to win,¡± she said. ¡°Why don¡¯t you take them?¡±

    ¡°Name them.¡±

    ¡°Biological weapons,¡± she said. ¡°You could poison the water, or blight their food.¡±

    Aymon realized that she knew the secret, though he didn¡¯t know how. The way she looked at him revealed it. ¡°You know the answer,¡± he said.

    ¡°Falmar,¡± she said, naming the planet of her birth, the one that had been devastated by a plague, one made from a modified biological weapon that had been originally used to destroy the remnants of the original population of the planet, before Imperial settlers arrived. He didn¡¯t know if Kino knew that whole story, but she knew enough.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Aymon said. He looked away from her, trying to keep his tone even. ¡°I¡¯ve made many mistakes, but I will not make the same one twice.¡±

    She nodded, and went back to her food.

    ¡°You blame me for that?¡± Aymon asked.

    She didn¡¯t answer. The hand that wasn¡¯t holding her fork had pulled the button completely off her cassock sleeve, and she stuck it in her pocket, then continued to pick and pry at the now loose threads.

    ¡°Why did you choose this apprenticeship?¡± Aymon asked after a long moment of silence.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have a choice,¡± Kino said. ¡°I had no other offers.¡±

    ¡°You could have refused. There are some that do.¡±

    ¡°I am not free to desist from the work,¡± she said after a second.

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said, and he leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his wine. ¡°Neither am I.¡± He tilted his head and looked at her more closely. ¡°I¡¯m surprised that your project didn¡¯t attract more attention. I thought it was very clever.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said, but even through her normal monotone, he could tell that it was a rote answer.

    ¡°Why did you make it?¡±

    This was a question that made her hesitate before answering. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to be seen,¡± she said. ¡°But the projects are about seeing. I thought¡­ the piece of God within you is the same as within me, so it doesn¡¯t matter what is being revealed.¡±

    He looked at her. She stared down at her plate. ¡°You¡¯re in the wrong line of work,¡± Aymon said. But he let out a breath. ¡°We have that in common, at least.¡±

    She tilted her head.

    ¡°I was never the favored apprentice to take up this role,¡± Aymon said. ¡°It should have been Obra. But they died, and left it to me.¡± He shook his head. ¡°If you end up where I am, you¡¯ll figure it out.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said. ¡°I will.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re very confident. Yan wouldn¡¯t be.¡±

    ¡°Sid would say the same as I did.¡±

    ¡°Sid would be lying,¡± Aymon said. ¡°But you¡¯re not lying.¡±

    ¡°I know what I¡¯m capable of,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Good.¡±

    She was tense, more than Aymon could explain by the strangeness of the conversation. ¡°Is something the matter, Kino?¡±

    She put her fork down and looked at him again. ¡°Why are you doing this?¡± she asked. For the first time, there was a plea in her voice.

    ¡°You know the reason,¡± he said. ¡°These planets pose an existential threat to the Empire. Before the Empire was founded¡ª¡±

    ¡°I know the story,¡± Kino said. ¡°Edden and the Unknown Colonies. Edden was destroyed, and the Empire was what unified humanity. I paid attention in history class.¡±

    ¡°Then you know the answer to the question. If humanity is not united under one flag, we are in danger of destroying ourselves.¡±

    Kino just shook her head, looking away.

    ¡°You¡¯ll understand eventually,¡± Aymon said. ¡°It¡¯s not pleasant work, but, as you said, I am not at liberty to desist from it.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°If that is the way it must be¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± he said.

    They hardly talked about anything else of substance through the whole meal. On one hand, he felt he had accomplished what Halen had wanted¡ª getting to know Kino better¡ª but, on the other hand, he had only upset her. This was not the closeness that Halen had wanted for them. He resolved that on the way back to Emerri, when the trip was over and all the unpleasantness of the front could be put behind them, he would meditate with her and try this again.

    He studied her across the table. When one of her braids fell forward over her shoulder, she tucked it back, brow furrowed. She cleaned her plate. She was small and strange, but she knew her own mind.

    It was affection he felt, looking at her there. He could admit that. And if she became his successor, he would feel confident that she could do what it took. The thought was strangely comforting, despite everything it entailed.

 Things Having Weight, and Weightless Things

    Things Having Weight, and Weightless Things

    an told Iri to go away, once she was back in her quarters. Iri clearly didn¡¯t want to leave her alone, but the sympathy in the curl of her lips, furrowed eyebrows, and soft voice didn¡¯t register for Yan¡ª and even if they had, they might have sickened her. Iri couldn¡¯t possibly understand, and Yan certainly didn¡¯t deserve any sympathy.

    She felt flat and dead after closing the door in Iri¡¯s face, and that flatness protected her for another minute or so more, as she cleaned herself up in the bathroom and mechanically brushed her teeth to get the taste of bile out of her throat. The lights were dim, and she didn¡¯t catch the eye of her reflection in the mirror. It was only when she began to take off her cassock and cloak, to change out the sweaty clothing, that she began to return to her senses.

    It was the recognition of what she was wearing that made her suddenly feel horrified to exist in her own skin, and she scrambled to get her cassock off, tugging it off without unbuttoning it enough, and her arms and head were momentarily entrapped. She couldn¡¯t breathe, or felt like she couldn¡¯t breathe, and she let out an involuntary wail as she wrestled with the heavy black fabric.

    At least Sid wouldn¡¯t hear her, through the shared bathroom door.

    She ripped the garment off, breaking the upper button, which fell to the ground and skittered beneath the bed. Yan threw the cassock to the floor, and, breathing heavily, stripped off her shirtsleeves¡ª soaked with sweat¡ª and her undershirt. In the end, she sat down on her bed in just her boxers and socks. She was unable to calm her breathing, and her one and only attempt to get it under control ended with her gasping for air, and tears coming to her eyes.

    It was a physical misery. Her thoughts hadn¡¯t caught up with her yet on a level that she could parse. That was coming¡ª she knew it was¡ª but at this moment, the numbness that was retreating from her body had not yet thawed her brain. She was a puppet, animate but thoughtless, and the strings that controlled her arms made her bring her fingers to her mouth, the wire that moved her jaw made her bite down on the flesh as hard as she could manage, till her teeth met the crushing resistance of bone. She choked on spit and tears, disgusting sobbing. How long she sat there on the edge of the bed, she didn¡¯t know.

    Her thoughts were creeping back to her, one after the other. There was the first: the horror that came with killing; and the second: the fact that, despite what she had done for the  Sky Boat ¡¯s crew, she was nothing like a spacer any longer. When each one of those thoughts became too painful, her attention would switch to the other one, almost mechanically. There was no room for anything else in her mind, just that. Each thought had its own branching, dark paths, but they were visible only by intuition. It would take longer for them to come into focus.

    She had left the door between her room and the bathroom only half-closed. When she heard the door on the other side open, the one that connected to Sid¡¯s room, she turned towards it instinctively. Sid didn¡¯t seem to notice or care that she could see him come into the bathroom¡ª he was even more lost in his own world than she was: unable to hear her raspy breathing, and not wearing his glasses. He knelt in front of the toilet, elbows on the seat, and leaned over it as though to vomit, but nothing came out.

    Yan stood, stumbling towards him. Of all the people in the universe, Sid was the only one who could understand her at that moment. He didn¡¯t see her coming, and he didn¡¯t move until she put her hand on his shoulder. Then he twisted, flinching like she had hit him, his face red¡ª the border between anger and panic. She could feel him reach for the power, draw it to the surface of his skin, some instinctual reaction.

    If Sid had struck her down in that moment, she wouldn¡¯t have cared at all. It might have been a relief. But, no matter how much she welcomed the blow, it didn¡¯t come. His power glanced over her skin, and it was unclear if Sid was trying to hurt her and failing, or if he was reaching out towards her in the only way that he could manage. It didn¡¯t matter; the effect was the same.

    Yan fell to her knees in front of Sid, there on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, and clung to him with all her strength. Although it took a moment for him to react, his returning embrace was just as crushing, his hands splaying out on the expanse of her back, just behind her shoulderblades. He pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes squeezed shut. Yan closed her eyes, too.

    Sid¡¯s breathing was hitching, little unconscious pain-sounds coming out with each exhale, like he was trying to contain it all in a swollen throat, and it was breaking free one piece at a time. His face was burning hot against hers, and whatever tears were on her cheeks did nothing to cool him.

    They already shared so much of the misery that it took no effort whatsoever to fall into each other¡¯s mind in the power. Yan hardly even noticed it happening, except that she realized after some time that she could only hear her breathing when she searched for the sound. Since they were in the same position, kneeling on the floor, even the usual feeling of occupying two bodies was merely an echo.

    Sid, she thought.

    A dull throb of a question in response.

    There must have been something she wanted to ask, some reassurance that she wanted to search for inside him, but it was obvious that he had nothing like that to give.

    The thing that occupied Sid¡¯s mind¡¯s eye, which Yan seized on, if only to give herself something to hold, was the image of the last pirate shuttle departing, Sid cradling it within his power¡¯s reach. He had let it slip away, let its passengers live, but in the mental image he had, he was ripping it to shreds. He pulled the engines off the back and let the cabin¡¯s air escape into vacuum, suffocating the passengers. Or he smashed the walls of the shuttle together and crushed them to a pulp. Or he ignited the oxygen in their tanks and left nothing but charred bodies.

    They lived  , Yan said.  You didn¡¯t do that.

    Perhaps thinking of something that he hadn¡¯t done was easier than thinking about what he had. He could have killed them. And perhaps he should have finished the task.

    He was practicing the hypotheticals, over and over.

    Why?  Yan asked.

    The answer came in an unexpected form. His memory flitted away, back to the past. They were sitting across a desk from Sandreas, who looked at Sid with a cold curiosity. Sid¡¯s apprenticeship interview.

    ¡°You lack follow through,¡± Sandreas said. He took a picture of a statue¡ª a figure raising a sword¡ª out of the manila folder on the desk in front of him. ¡°That¡¯s what your project told me.¡± In the memory, the words didn¡¯t appear on Sid¡¯s glasses, they simply embedded themselves into the knowledge of the scene. Sandreas¡¯s mouth didn¡¯t even move to speak them. Dreamlike. Hazy.

    Sid protested voicelessly.

    ¡°You will learn,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°Or you will fail. Those are the only options in this life.¡±

    Sid held the pirate shuttle in his hand, and then let it go. Without Yan telling him what to do, he couldn¡¯t bring himself to finish the work that they had started. Useless.

    No,  Yan protested.  No, no.

    She didn¡¯t even know what she was pushing against: the idea that it would have been better for Sid to kill more of the pirates, the idea that she was responsible for directing him, the idea that Sandreas would have wanted them to destroy the pirates utterly, the knowledge that  this was what was required for their apprenticeship¡ª or to take Sandreas¡¯s place. It was a futile protestation, no matter what it was against, but she wanted to shove all of it away. She hadn¡¯t wanted to think about any of this, but Sid was forcing her to see it.

    I can¡¯t do it  , Sid said. But the slick thought of disappointing Sandreas, of being weak, this was only a cover for the horror beneath¡ª the knowledge that he  had been capable of killing, and wondering if he would need to again. It was easier to redirect the horror somewhere else, into something more distant. As Yan recognized this for the cover that it was, they tumbled down together.

    You did do it.  We  did , Yan said.

    Being there with Sid, and not wanting to follow his escaping thoughts to contemplate the future, made them sit there with just the knowledge of what they had done. They didn¡¯t have a choice but to face it.

    The memory of it played again in their minds, interspersed with flickers of imagination. Stopping the ships, an almost effortless outlay of power, felt too sterile in their minds. So their brains supplied images of gore that they had not seen, and scenes of weeping from the survivors on the nameless pirate ship. It was unclear whose mind was providing the fuel for the visions¡ª but Yan suspected it was her.

    The surviving mourners stood in a facsimile of the Iron Dreams ¡¯s hall, bedecked in red as it had been for her mother¡¯s funeral. Though in her imagination, none of the pirates had faces, they towered above Yan¡¯s point of view¡ª like Halen¡¯s genetically modified height, or like her aunts and uncles had when she had been a child.

    At least when Yan started to imagine the sonorous tones of the funeral prayer breaking the eerie silence of the vision, Sid stopped her, shaking her free, at least of that scene. It must have been compassion on his part to drag her mind away from the most painful part of her memory.

    Even if Yan and Sid had been alone, they probably wouldn¡¯t have been able to stop thinking about it, so it shouldn¡¯t have mattered that they were there together, except that it mattered more than anything else in the world that Yan had Sid to cling to. Some part of her was seeking solace in the fact that Sid did not hate her for what she had done¡ª that crawling part of her was trying to find relief, and Sid was offering it willingly. When she recognized this, she was so disgusted that she almost pulled back out of the shared trance. She didn¡¯t deserve to be forgiven¡ª not by Sid, not by anyone.

    But he didn¡¯t want to let her go.

    Do you hate me for it?  he asked. And even though he was seeking the same thing she was, the answer was no. She couldn¡¯t hate him. She forgave him, though it wasn¡¯t her forgiveness to give.

    Whose is it?  Sid asked.

    God¡¯s.  Though this felt too abstract.  The dead, maybe.

    They can¡¯t.

    Then the only people who could forgive them were the people left alive, the rest of the pirate family that lived on the ship. Yan remembered¡ª she couldn¡¯t help but remember¡ª what a scar her mother¡¯s death had left on the  Iron Dreams . And her mother had been one woman, and her death had been an accident. How many people had she and Sid killed? More than ten. Maybe more than thirty. She hadn¡¯t counted, and didn¡¯t know. But she did know that the family on that ship would never forgive her.

    That was just going to have to be something she carried, then.

    Her thoughts were turning towards the future again, Sid asking if they  could  carry it, when Yan noticed something on the edge of their shared awareness. A muted, strange sensation. She realized it was her hearing. Someone was knocking on her door.

    Focusing on this knocked her out of the meditative trace, which in turn knocked her heavily to the floor as her legs gave out from having knelt in a strained position for some unknown amount of time. She struggled to stand, the pins and needles making it hard to move. She clutched at the bathroom counter for balance, and Sid crawled out of her way. At least whoever was knocking at her door didn¡¯t seem intent on going away, which gave her time to pull her undershirt back on and wipe some of the snot and tears from her face with the back of her hand.

    Expecting Iri, Yan pulled the door open. She instead found one of the redheads that made up the  Sky Boat ¡¯s family¡ª this one a boy of maybe thirteen. He was holding a bulging canvas bag at his side, and he flinched back from Yan when she opened the door. Though he didn¡¯t meet her eyes, his gaze flicked across her face, and her visible distress made him less scared and more like he recognized something in her. He held out the canvas bag.

    ¡°Here,¡± he said. ¡°My mom said to give this to you.¡±

    Yan¡¯s throat was unused to being used to generate words, and she took a second of trying before she managed to speak. ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°Food,¡± he said. He looked away, almost sheepish. ¡°Since you¡¯re not supposed to come to the hall.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Yan said. The idea of eating turned her stomach, but she knew she should.

    ¡°And¡ª¡± the boy said.

    Yan just looked at him blankly.

    ¡°Well,¡± he said with a shrug, ¡°it will help, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Yan said again. But he was already leaving, trotting away down the hallway. Yan closed the door.

    Sid had picked himself up off the bathroom floor and had made his way to her bed, where he sat with his legs crossed and her pillow scrunched in his arms, leaning in the corner where the walls met. He watched her put the bag down on her desk and open it, taking out the industrial plastic containers with a few ready-made meals. Two were hot, having come directly from the kitchen, but the rest were cold food that would last them a day or so. Probably long enough to get to Olar. The bottom of the bag held some fruits¡ª plums and apples¡ª and, as she pulled them out and lined them up neatly on the desk, her fingers brushed a small brown paper bag, tightly folded down around something hard.

    Yan unwrapped it, not expecting anything in particular, and uncovered a tin of mints. A sudden sense-memory of standing in a bathroom with Kino, who once offered her something from a similar tin, flashed into her mind. Yan opened it, already knowing what she would find. Instead of candy, there were small pills, each with an impression of a flaring snake¡¯s head on one side. She stopped moving and just stared at the pills for a moment. There weren¡¯t too many¡ª about thirty¡ª and she had a vague sense of what this amount of vena was worth, maybe a week or two¡¯s pay for a spacer.

    How generous.

    ¡°What is it?¡± Sid asked aloud, getting her attention. His voice, too, was rough and strange.

    Yan shook her head and went to put the pills down on the desk, but Sid used his power to float the tin towards himself, all the pills rattling as it flew into his hand. She probably should have protested, taken the pills away from him, but she couldn¡¯t muster the strength. Sid poked at them with one finger, swirling them around.

    Without speaking, Yan took the two hot meals and sat down across from him on the bed. She held the container of food out to him and wiggled it in front of him until he took it. He closed the tin of drugs and tossed it onto the bedspread between them.

    ¡°Eat,¡± Yan signed. If she was forcing Sid to eat, she could make herself eat, too. It was a bland meal, mashed potatoes and steamed fish, but that was maybe for the best. She could keep it down, even if it stuck in her mouth. The mechanical act of eating was calming, too. Having cried all she was capable of crying, she now felt loose and floppy, exhausted.

    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

    Sid only poked at his food, licking the mashed potatoes off his plastic fork and squishing the fish into a pulp without eating any of it. Yan made some token gestures to get him to eat more, but she didn¡¯t have the energy to fight him when he closed the lid and tossed most of his meal in the trash. He got up and brushed his teeth, then came back. As Yan finished her meal, Sid turned the tin of vena over and over in his hands.

    ¡°This is what Kino takes?¡± he signed to Yan.

    She nodded.

    ¡°Why did they give it to us?¡±

    ¡°Payment for services rendered,¡± she signed with a bitter frown. But even as she did, she knew that wasn¡¯t true. That wasn¡¯t what the boy who had delivered it had said. It was meant to help¡ª like the food, it was a gesture of kindness from at least one person on board the  Sky Boat , rather than obligation. If someone had been obligated to feed them, the food almost certainly would have been delivered by one of their entourage¡ª Iri, or Sid¡¯s minder, or Lieutenant Cesper, or his staff would have gone to get food for them. But this had been personally delivered by one of the ship¡¯s crew. Sid watched the change in Yan¡¯s expression as she mulled it over. Every thought took twelve times as long as it should have to cross her brain.

    ¡°Do spacers usually pay in illegal drugs?¡± Sid asked. ¡°Especially visiting government functionaries on the way to discuss how to stop drug smuggling?¡± He knew as much as she did that this was not the real reason. They weren¡¯t meant as currency¡ª the vena was meant for use.

    Yan shook her head, watching Sid open the tin again. He studied its contents.

    ¡°How many does Kino take?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± Yan signed. Sid was only holding the tin loosely in his hand, and she probably could have taken it from him, with the power or otherwise, but she lacked the will to fight him.

    ¡°I think Sandreas would forgive me.¡±

    ¡°Why would you¡­¡± Yan began. The answer was obvious, of course. But she was hoping that Sid would talk himself out of it. The idea of taking drugs repulsed her¡ª partially a consequence of her upbringing as a spacer, and partially because drugs inhibited the use of the power, and that felt dangerous. Kino probably had such a high tolerance that she could remain unaffected to some degree, but Sid was a different story.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to sleep,¡± Sid finally signed. ¡°And if I do, I don¡¯t want to dream.¡± He held out the tin to her. She shook her head.

    Sid picked up one pill.

    ¡°Half,¡± Yan signed. ¡°Cut it in half.¡±

    He acquiesced, and used one of the knives that had come with their food to split the pill. He held up his piece, and then said aloud, in a flat tone that was probably meant to approach sarcasm, ¡°For God provides water to the thirsty, food to the hungry, and rest to the weary.¡±

    ¡°Are you really going to take it?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yes.¡± But he hesitated, still waiting for her approval, or whatever reassurance she was going to give him.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t scared of losing the power?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± he signed.

    Yan looked at the pill, pinched between his fingers. ¡°Stay here,¡± she signed. ¡°Don¡¯t leave. I want to make sure¡ª¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to look out for me,¡± he signed, looking past her.

    Not sure what else to do, Yan reached out and put her hand on his knee. He tensed, perhaps expecting her to say something through the power, but she didn¡¯t, just kept the touch as reassurance.

    He swallowed the crumbly pill. Yan watched him expectantly, though even in her addled state she realized that was a silly thing to do. It wouldn¡¯t take effect anywhere near immediately. She shook her head and cleaned up the remains of their dinner, then got ready for bed. When she emerged from the bathroom, she found that Sid had stripped off his cassock and had tossed it on the ground next to hers, and was underneath her blankets, eyes closed. He felt her sit down on the bed.

    Without opening his eyes, he said aloud, ¡°You should sleep, too.¡±

    Yan didn¡¯t know if she could. He looked small and vulnerable there on the bed, and perhaps his statement was less a reminder for her to take care of herself, and more a request for companionship. If she thought of it like that, she could oblige, even if she wasn¡¯t sure that sleep would come to her. She crawled underneath the covers, and although it was cramped on the bed, they fit, Sid¡¯s back against her chest, their knees crooked together. She used the power to turn off the light, plunging them into darkness.

    They were silent for a minute, just breathing.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Sid said aloud. Yan couldn¡¯t respond without using the power, and she didn¡¯t want to, so she just let him say whatever it was he wanted to say. She sensed that this was intentional, Sid leaving himself space to get thoughts out uninterrupted, communication without the shame of reciprocation. She wondered if he would say something else, and he opened his mouth to, but no sound came out.

    The power flitted across the boundary between their skins, and Yan felt the softness of Sid¡¯s thoughts, the slippery, weightless feeling of the drug taking hold. He wavered into and out of consciousness for a while, and Yan¡¯s mind followed his, clinging on to the warm blankness that the vena offered him.

    <hr>

    The rest of the journey to Olar passed in a blur. Yan and Sid did not leave their rooms, and Sid spent much of his time sedated. When Hernan or Iri came by to check on them, Yan covered for Sid and said that he was sleeping. Both minders expressed a degree of skepticism in their tones and expressions, but Sid¡¯s slumped form in the bed behind Yan as she stood in the doorway at least reassured them that Sid was alive and present.

    The  Sky Boat docked at the top of Olar¡¯s space elevator, which was otherwise devoid of ships.

    ¡°The  Neutron Star , with Apprentice Olms, will be arriving in two days,¡± Iri told Yan as they waited to go down to the surface. She had just finished reading through the updated precis on their task that had been waiting for them as they traveled through space, out of ansible rang. Yan and Iri were floating against a large window in their elevator car, waiting for control to give clearance for their descent. They didn¡¯t have to sit just yet, not until the attendants told them that the journey was starting. Yan gripped the railing that separated her from the window with white knuckled hands.

    ¡°They¡¯re a few days behind, because they had to rendez-vous with a few of the Guild Council members who will be attending,¡± Iri continued.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said, voice flat and dull. She couldn¡¯t bring herself to be curious, but she could bring herself to be dutiful. ¡°Do you know who¡¯s coming?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Iri said. She was a little cautious as she said it. ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m telling you.¡±

    ¡°The  Sky Boat  is sending a delegate?¡± She hadn¡¯t seen any of the ship¡¯s crew disembark onto the elevator with them, but the official ship delegate may not have been on board the  Sky Boat  , and may have been picked up by the  Neutron Star  from the Guild Council headquarters, which were on a station a few jumps from Emerri.

    ¡°No,¡± Iri said. ¡°But the  Iron Dreams  is.¡±

    Yan suddenly felt nauseous, and she closed her eyes to steady herself, counting to twelve before she opened them again. ¡°Do you know who they¡¯re sending?¡±

    ¡°Maxes BarCarran,¡± Iri said, her tone carefully neutral. Iri had access to every scrap of information on Yan that had ever been written down, so she of course knew that Yan¡¯s uncle Maxes had raised her after her mother¡¯s death.

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°He hasn¡¯t heard what happened on board the  Sky Boat  yet,¡± Iri pointed out, even though Yan could have pieced it together herself. ¡°He¡¯s still traveling, and won¡¯t hear until the  Neutron Star makes it in system.¡±

    Somehow, that made it worse. Maxes was coming because he was proud of her, but as soon as he arrived, there would be nothing but shame waiting for him. She wanted to ask if she could pretend to be ill, to make Sid handle all of their tasks on Olar, so that she wouldn¡¯t have to face the Guild, but when she glanced behind herself at Sid¡ª who was sitting dead-eyed and slack in an armchair, looking out the window and seeing nothing¡ª Yan realized that she couldn¡¯t do that. She nodded silently.

    Iri rubbed Yan¡¯s back. ¡°Can I make a suggestion?¡± she said.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s your job.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s my job to do a lot of things,¡± Iri said. She paused for a moment, her hand continuing its steady circle across the back of Yan¡¯s cassock, the red cape fluttering free above her hand. ¡°I think you should write to him, so that he hears from you when he docks before he hears from anyone else. He would advocate for you to Apprentice Olms, if it all comes to that.¡±

    Iri was correct, of course. If she could prepare her uncle for the shock, he might be able to forgive her more easily than if he heard the news from someone else. That would be the sensible thing to do. But Yan viscerally couldn¡¯t bear the thought. The idea of writing to Captain Pellon disgusted her, too. Yan shook her head.

    ¡°I¡¯ve already written to First Sandreas,¡± Iri said. ¡°You know that, right?¡±

    Yan nodded. First Sandreas¡ª and Halen¡ª would of course be kept informed of his apprentices¡¯ status. But First Sandreas wasn¡¯t a spacer. ¡°What did he say?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t heard back yet.¡±

    Yan nodded.

    ¡°He will expect you to write to him directly.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°And will you?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Yan said. She looked out the window, though she couldn¡¯t avoid seeing both her and Iri¡¯s reflections in it. ¡°I can, or Sid can. It doesn¡¯t matter.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± She paused. ¡°Your friend, Ms. Calor, was given an ansible card, by the way,¡± Iri said. ¡°I got that paperwork squared away for you. So you can talk to her any time you like, now that we¡¯re at Olar.¡±

    The image of Sylva, so removed from all of the recent horror in Yan¡¯s life, was simultaneously something that Yan wanted to reach for and push away. She represented a world that Yan had left completely, and there was the sensation of somehow tainting Sylva by talking to her about this. Nevermind the fact that they had left on bad terms. Yan had never wanted anything between the two of them to change, but nevertheless that change had come, from every direction all at once.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it, Iri,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Iri said. ¡°I¡¯m just putting it on the table.¡±

    <hr>

    Whoever had scheduled their trip had been thoughtful enough to give them time to get acclimated before they met with anyone important. Yan and Sid were cocooned from the various Olar officials who led their group from the spaceport to their hotel. Yan only had to say a few perfunctory words of greeting, to be politie, and then Iri stepped in and began to rapid-fire discuss logistics, which left Yan free to take out her phone and stare listlessly at it, half-typing a message addressed to no one, and then deleting it as she figured that she had nothing good to say. Sid was in a similar situation.

    When she could bear to glance up from her phone, she observed a few of the fashions of the people who flitted around their group. Olarians wore thick clothes in layers that could easily be added or removed: a decorative woolen wrap over a jacket over a sweater, fur-lined boots that went up almost to the knee. The people tended to wear their hair long, and most people who could grow beards did. Nearly everyone had tattoos, stripey lines that wrapped around their arms, and hands, some even having decorative patterns across their faces that disappeared beneath their hair. If Yan had felt more alive, she might have stared to try to figure out what the pattern was, if any, between the tattoos that different people had. But as it was, her gaze just slid around dully, registering the information but doing nothing with it.

    The drive from the port on Olar to the city where they were staying was short, and though the windows on their limousine were tinted, Yan still got a chance to look at the sweeping vistas of the planet. The elevator was at the planet¡¯s equator, but that didn¡¯t mean it was warm. Olar had only been settled within the past hundred years, and the terraforming process was not scheduled to be completed for many years yet. As it was, it was liveable, and enough food could be grown in greenhouses to more than sustain the population, but Yan¡¯s body heat fogged up the window of the car as she leaned against it, and a few inches of snow crusted every surface that was not regularly cleared off. The capital city, which had the bland-in-the-extreme name of City One, was nestled in the bowl of mountains, and they passed through cavernous, carved tunnels to enter the valley.

    It was night, and stars were peppering the sky, even through the shining light pollution of the city. At their hotel, there was an informal catered dinner for all of their party, which meant that by the time Yan could escape to her hotel room, she was beyond exhausted.

    Her room and Sid¡¯s were no longer adjacent, and when they went upstairs together, they stopped in front of Yan¡¯s door.

    ¡°Do you want to come in?¡± Yan asked in sign. Iri was standing just down the hall, and so Yan avoided mentioning anything about the vena, though she suspected that Iri already knew about it.

    Sid shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be okay without me?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m not a baby,¡± he signed, more vicious than he needed to. Yan stepped back.

    ¡°Fine.¡±

    He looked away from her. By way of apology, or explanation, he signed, ¡°I need to write to my family. I don¡¯t need company for that.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you need me,¡± Yan gestured, vaguely, trailing off into a helpless swing of her arm that encompassed her hotel room.

    Sid nodded, then shuffled off down the hall. As Yan watched him go, she had the sinking realization that it was not for his sake that she wanted him to stay with her.

    Her hotel room was large and empty. People on Olar seemed to like indoor temperatures to be almost stiflingly warm, and her room was no exception. Across from the door was a huge plate window looking out over the city, and the mountains that rose up on the other end of the valley. The whole view was carpeted by lights that outshone the stars.

    Now that Yan was alone, truly alone, for the first time in a while, she didn¡¯t know what to do with herself. The thought of really sitting down to write to anyone sickened her, and she had already gone over the documents that pertained to their task on Olar as much as she could bear. The only thing she could think of to do was pray.

    During all the time she had spent with Sid over the past few days, he had never brought it up. She knew, from the rest of their apprenticeship, that he did not take the theology as seriously as Yan and Kino did, to the point where Sandreas occasionally chastised him for it. But in these circumstances, Yan thought that if he didn¡¯t mention wanting to pray, it was for a reason¡ª too painful, perhaps¡ª so she hadn¡¯t pushed him on it. But now she was alone, and she couldn¡¯t use Sid¡¯s reluctance as a shield for her own.

    Her thoughts, though still jumbled, were now more solidified several days removed from the actual event, so formalizing her thoughts through the ritual of prayer might help her organize them.

    She wasn¡¯t operating under the illusion that she would hear God¡¯s voice telling her that she was forgiven¡ª that was the kind of pronouncement she had always looked with mild skepticism on her classmates at the Academy for having, on the occasion that someone had said something like that aloud. Yan¡¯s relationship with God had always been quieter than that¡ª the kind of peace that came from surrendering her mind to a current larger than herself.

    This was why she had always enjoyed meditation, more than formal prayer. But meditating alone, trying to clear her mind rather than merely subdue it enough to enter Sid¡¯s, was not something that would come easily. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was back in the shuttle, her power roiling beneath her skin. So the ritual of prayer was the closest she could get.

    Yan found her well worn copy of the  Book of Songs , turned off the lights in the hotel room, and pushed the couch out of the way of the window. She took off her shoes and socks and knelt on the carpeted floor, facing the window, the book open before her.

    For a moment, her mind was unbearably blank, as she searched for any prayer that should have been well-remembered. She eventually though of something from the  Song of the Red King , the last part of the song that felt suitable to read. She flipped to it, past most of the story, looking at the harsh illustrations softened by the dim yellow light that came in from the city outside, bouncing off the snow.

    In the story, the Red King ruled his kingdom with a terrible fury, so much that no one dared to oppose him except for three young men. One of them was named Zesa. They entered the Red King¡¯s palace by force, intending to kill him. However, Zesa had already been paid by the Red King¡¯s spies to betray the other two. When the three entered the palace, with information that Zesa provided, the other two were captured, and Zesa was ordered to kill his friends, as a final test of loyalty towards the Red King. A long segment of the  Song of the Red King  was dedicated to Zesa¡¯s lament.

    Yan recited parts of it, in a dull voice.

    ¡°Zesa went alone to the mountaintop, where none but God would hear his cries. He looked over the land below, and raised his arms to heaven, crying out in a loud voice:

    ¡°LORD, in this world I have set myself on high.

    I have been given authority from the lowest valley to the greatest peak.

    I have been granted power from the desert to the sky-wide sea.

    My name is spoken as a worthy name.

    All glory and honor comes to me

    As I stand at the right hand of my king.

    ¡°Though I have been raised high,

    I am offered no comfort.

    I stand by my king¡¯s side and am as alone

    As if I stood on a cliff above the moon-tossed sea.

    My king¡¯s voice is like the wind that blows,

    And his touch is like the waves, which throw men

    To die upon the rocks.

    ¡°I once stood at the sides of those

    Whose voices were like the songs of birds,

    And whose hands offered me every comfort.

    For power or glory I shunned them,

    And my hands were like the rocks

    Beneath the foam-laden sea,

    Which offer no mercies but those of the tomb.

    ¡°LORD, You are merciful.

    You are the wind that carries the sailor

    Across the fear-deep sea.

    Surely, if there was mercy in the tomb

    For one such as me,

    You would have struck me down.

    ¡°For even the worms in the darkness of the earth

    Find some comfort in their brethren.

    And the fish in the current-woven sea

    Do not swim alone.

    ¡°But I have sinned against my brothers.

    And I wander in the darkness of the broken and the lost.

    If I could be forgiven by those who have crossed the star-circled sea

    I would hear their voices in the song of the birds,

    And feel the comfort of their touch in all the breezes that blow.

    ¡°O LORD¡ª how can I be forgiven?

    Surely, my brothers would say,

    ¡®It is easier to endure a thousand years of torment

    Than it is to endure the betrayal of a friend.¡¯

    Surely, it must be easier to drink the whole of the wine-dark sea

    Than it is to earn forgiveness.

    What is it that I must do?

    O LORD¡ª how can I be forgiven?¡±

    Yan repeated the last line again and again, not moving on to the later parts of Zesa¡¯s lament. He figured out how to find forgiveness, but she could not.

    Movement in the distance caught her eye, and she saw that over the crest of the mountains, a huge, luminous red moon was rising, full or almost full. Its surface was scarred and pitted. Compared to even the larger moon of Emerri that she was used to, this one seemed far too close, like it was going to scrape the tops off the mountains as it passed overhead. Yet no matter how she tensed, feeling like it was going to crash down into her with all its strength, it hovered weightless and silent in the sky, continuing on the course that it must have been on for billions of years.

    She was transfixed by it, and felt stripped bare in its ruddy iron-light. Her voice faded to whispers, then nothing, as she watched it rise, sweeping its gaze over the city below. She couldn¡¯t move until it had risen past the lintel of the window, vanishing out of sight.

    When it did rise out of view, the loss of its light made her dark hotel room feel even darker, and Yan shuddered and hastened to bed.

 A Loving Man; A Selfish God

    A Loving Man; A Selfish God

    Aymon was awake early the next morning, the second day on Tyx-III, before his alarm. He wasn¡¯t sure what had woken him. It hadn¡¯t been Halen leaving¡ª he almost always slept through that, since Halen was quiet as a cat getting out of bed. And it wasn¡¯t the foxfire of the algae on the stone walls, or the hum of the ventilation circling dead air out and fresh air in. It was a lingering sense that something had gone wrong.

    His first instinct was to flag down one of the soldiers who kept guard outside his door, and ask where Kino was. He couldn¡¯t have put his finger on why that was his first impulse, but he imagined that Kino had left their conversation at dinner less satisfied than he had. When he was informed that she and Halen were having breakfast together in the dining room that had been reserved for them, Aymon¡¯s hackles only barely lowered. If she was up early as well, it must be something disquieting about the nature of the planet itself.

    Aymon made his way to the dining room and found a hot meal waiting for him. Unusually, Halen, although he had finished eating, was still there. Most days, Halen had too much to accomplish to want to sit around, and would join Aymon again during the day as he was needed. But, today, he sat across from Kino with his black coffee steaming in his hand.

    Kino was poking at her rice bowl with disinterest, letting it go cold.

    Aymon sat down next to her, and she barely looked up at him.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± Aymon said. Kino just nodded. ¡°How long have you been up?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t sleep,¡± she said.

    ¡°At all?¡±

    She shrugged.

    ¡°Security here is tighter than it is on Emerri,¡± Halen intoned. ¡°Wandering alone through the tunnels to burn off your insomnia is not something that I can recommend.¡±

    ¡°Mm,¡± Aymon said. Halen could handle Kino¡¯s penchant for wandering; it didn¡¯t require his input. He let the soldier who served him his breakfast put it down in front of him, then step out of the room. Aymon raised his hands, said a quiet blessing, and then took a delicate few bites of the simple meal.

    ¡°Yan and Sid arrived at Olar about an hour ago,¡± Halen said. His voice held a cautious note in it, and Aymon looked up from his rice and egg sharply.

    ¡°That¡¯s on schedule, isn¡¯t it?¡± Although they had left Emerri after the  Sky Boat  , and the physical distance to Tyx-III was longer, the  First Star  was fast enough to make up the distance, so that they arrived at approximately the same time.

    Kino appeared disinterested, but Aymon knew she was listening to every word that Halen said. Halen glanced at her, then at Aymon, who nodded.

    ¡°They are on schedule, yes,¡± Halen said. ¡°The  Sky Boat  was attacked by pirates en route.¡± His voice was calm and even, and it quenched any initial reaction that Aymon would have had. That was the effect that Halen could have on him. It didn¡¯t work on Kino¡ª she looked up, eyes widening and small frame tensing.

    ¡°The first thing you would have told me is if they were grievously wounded, and you wouldn¡¯t have had the news held from me before I got to breakfast,¡± Aymon said. ¡°They¡¯re fine, I assume?¡±

    Kino¡¯s shoulders slumped back down. If not relaxed, she was at least not ready to leap from her chair.

    ¡°Yes. Yan¡¯s minder, Maedes, sent me a personal message.¡±

    ¡°Along with a comprehensive report?¡±

    ¡°That came from the Fleet liaison who is accompanying them, though Maedes and Hernan both signed off on it.¡±

    Aymon nodded. ¡°What did it say?¡±

    ¡°As I said, they were attacked by pirates. The Fleet liaison followed established procedure and ordered them to evacuate ship, which they did. On the shuttle, Sid¡ª on Yan¡¯s orders¡ª threatened the pilot and liaison into returning to the  Sky Boat , where they participated in its defense.¡± Although Halen¡¯s voice remained utterly calm, there was still something in it that Aymon could catch but not understand fully. Perhaps it was the idea of evacuating ship, the standard procedure for government travelers on contract on Guild ships¡ª that had always made Halen uneasy.

    ¡°They weren¡¯t hurt at all?¡± he confirmed.

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°They are uninjured, and the damage to the  Sky Boat itself was minimal.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Aymon said. He was sure Halen was waiting for him to ask the right question, but he felt that he needed to tread carefully. The topic of pirates could be a tender one for Halen. ¡°Do you want me to punish them or praise them? For disobeying their minders and defending that ship.¡±

    That was the wrong question, because Halen did not answer it. ¡°I want you to follow Maedes¡¯s recommendation, and leave Tyx early to meet them at Olar.¡±

    ¡°She recommended that? Why?¡± Aymon asked. ¡°Have the Guild negotiations fallen apart already?¡±

    Halen¡¯s voice was suddenly much sharper. ¡°Because they are your apprentices, Aymon,¡± he said, reminding him of their conversation from the other day. Aymon acknowledged it with an incline of his head. Halen pulled a folded piece of paper out of his breast pocket and slid it across the table. His voice was softer as he said, ¡°Maedes asked that only I come to Olar. I don¡¯t know why she asked that¡ª perhaps she felt she couldn¡¯t ask it of you. But  I am asking it of you.¡±

    Aymon unfolded the piece of paper and looked it over. It was Maedes¡¯s letter. Despite its clipped and professional tone, there was a real urgency and concern in it. She wasn¡¯t worried that Yan and Sid couldn¡¯t handle their mission on Olar, but the fact that she was making the request that Halen leave Tyx¡ª take the  First Star  ! ¡ª and go to Olar made it clear that she  was worried.

    Aymon knew Maedes in a general sense: she had been part of Stonecourt security for several years, and had saved his life, once, which had led her to transfer into Halen¡¯s personal staff. She had been steady and professional, and Halen had specifically recommended that she become Yan¡¯s right hand during her apprenticeship. This was enough for Aymon to take her recommendations seriously, and to feel a real flicker of his own concern for Yan and Sid, though he tried to tamp it down into pragmatism. Halen surely noticed the feeling, but Aymon kept it off his face and out of his voice.

    He didn¡¯t pass the letter to Kino to read, though he could see her trying to look at it. He instead folded it and put it in his own pocket.

    ¡°I often was frustrated by how Herrault found it difficult to trust me to accomplish things on my own, in the first year of my apprenticeship,¡± Aymon pointed out. ¡°I don¡¯t want to stifle them. Especially when they have just proven their competence.¡± It was a token objection, but he wondered what Halen would do with it.

    ¡°Then tell me to take the  First Star ,¡± Halen said. ¡°I¡¯ll go alone.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. He picked up his fork and stirred his breakfast bowl. ¡°I will go¡ª if Maedes is that concerned, and you. But not for a few days. There are still things that I need to accomplish here. Unless that¡¯s an unacceptable delay?¡± He cocked his head.

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°I think just knowing you¡¯re coming will help.¡±

    Aymon nodded. He put cream into his coffee and stirred it idly. ¡°What do you think, Kino?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Do you want me to stay here?¡± Kino asked. ¡°You can leave early. I can finish the tour of the front, and meeting with the Fleet.¡±

    Aymon looked at her curiously. ¡°Could you?¡± he asked, thinking of their conversation from the night before. He sipped his coffee. ¡°As a thought experiment¡ª say I left, leaving you here, and this base was attacked. Like what happened to Sid and Yan. What would you do?¡±

    Kino stared straight ahead¡ª at Halen, though her gaze seemed to pass directly through him to the far wall. ¡°Whatever I needed to do.¡±

    Aymon smiled, with teeth. ¡°Good.¡± His tone switched bac to businesslike. ¡°But that won¡¯t be necessary. There¡¯s nothing here that requires my extended physical presence, or that of my proxy.¡± He looked up at Halen. ¡°From what Maedes said, it seems like Yan and Sid were able to do exactly what was necessary, as well.¡±

    ¡°You do want to praise them for their mutiny,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°And you don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think praise is what they would want from me. Even if it was what I was inclined to give.¡±

    Aymon¡¯s laugh was harsh. ¡°No, I expect Yan wouldn¡¯t appreciate that from you at all.¡±

    Halen finished his coffee and put his mug down on the table with some finality. ¡°I¡¯ll arrange our departure and move our schedule up.¡± He stood.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Aymon said, catching Halen¡¯s arm as he walked past. Halen nodded, then slipped out, leaving Aymon and Kino alone at the table.

    Kino looked absently up at the ceiling. In her monotone voice, she asked, ¡°How many people did they kill?¡±

    Aymon didn¡¯t answer for a second. ¡°You¡¯re making a lot of assumptions.¡±

    Kino remained silent. Aymon drank some of his coffee.

    ¡°It¡¯s unclear,¡± he finally said, thinking of the few details in Maedes¡¯s letter. ¡°Somewhere between fifteen and fifty. Maedes had no way of knowing, so that¡¯s an estimate. What makes you ask?¡±

    Kino shrugged.

    ¡°Have you ever killed someone?¡± Aymon asked. ¡°Of the three of you, you¡¯re the only one who might have had a chance to before now.¡± He paused. ¡°Answer me honestly, please. I certainly am not going to send you to a tribunal if the answer is yes.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°I usually walked out, if there was trouble.¡± She was still looking up at the ceiling. Aymon followed her gaze, but there was nothing above them but the heavy, craggly rock.

    ¡°I¡¯m surprised.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because I get the impression that you would not want me to come rushing to your side, if you were there instead of here. It would lead me to think that you had experience, and knew how to deal with it. Am I wrong about that?¡±

    She shrugged.

    ¡°It¡¯s funny,¡± Aymon said. ¡°In that respect, I was much more like you, in my apprenticeship. But perhaps that was because First Herrault had no desire to coddle us.¡± He finished the egg in his bowl, and scraped the remaining grains of rice with his fork. ¡°Do you envy Yan and Sid?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. She stood, abandoning her unfinished breakfast. ¡°Did you think I would?¡±

    ¡°I would have, if I were you.¡±

    She shook her head and walked away, short red cape and long black braids flapping behind her as she went. Aymon signaled to one of the guards at the door to make sure she didn¡¯t go wandering too far.

    <hr>

    Aymon spent most of the day so occupied with Fleet meetings that he barely had time to think about his two distant apprentices. He had always been good at focusing on the task at hand, solving problems that could be solved. It was only at the end of the day, after a grueling formal dinner, that Aymon made his way to the private transmission room to set up an ansible call with his apprentices. It would be the mid-morning for them, and though he did not have their full schedule on hand, he knew vaguely that they were not going to meet with the Olar governor until the evening, at a private dinner. He wouldn¡¯t be interrupting anything to call now.

    He hadn¡¯t told Halen that he would be calling them, but he assumed that Halen would be pleased. This wouldn¡¯t take long.

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    The private transmission room was quiet and small, lit to best capture his image over the camera. The ansible operator had set it up for him, and so all he had to do was sit, poised, and wait for the connection to go through, and his apprentices to appear on the screen. He checked his appearance in the monitor¡ª vain but forgivable. The waiting four note drone of the dial tone cut off as the connection went through.

    On the screen was not Yan or Sid, but Yan¡¯s minder, Iri Maedes. She was a stocky woman, with a serious, quiet frown on her face. She was dressed in warm clothing, including a knitted toque, and snow dusted her shoulders, rapidly melting in the warm environment of the car she sat in the back of. Aymon could see a busy street out the window behind her. Yan and Sid were nowhere to be seen.

    Maedes saluted, her fist on her chest, which caused the computer she was taking the call from to bounce on her knees, the picture¡ª already delayed and soupy¡ª jittering. Aymon nodded in greeting.

    ¡°Maedes,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Where are my apprentices?¡±

    ¡°Sir, I didn¡¯t expect you to call. Apprentice BarCarran and Apprentice Welslak are on a tour of City One. The governor insisted that they be shown around.¡±

    ¡°They could have paused the tour for a moment.¡±

    ¡°Is it absolutely necessary that you speak to them?¡± Maedes asked.

    ¡°I was told that it was of the utmost importance that I abandon my trip to the front, and rush immediately to Olar to see them. So I would think that I am more important than a city walking tour, yes.¡±

    Although Maedes tended to be unflappable, this comment made her simultaneously flush and straighten her back. ¡°I didn¡¯t think it was within my station to recommend that you change your plans,¡± Maedes said.

    ¡°Why did you ask Halen to come? Was it just because you knew he would pass along your request to me?¡±

    ¡°No, sir,¡± she said, but offered no elaboration.

    ¡°Then tell me the reason.¡±

    If she could have straightened her back further, she would have. A cloud passed across the sun outside her car, casting her into dim grey shadow. ¡°Apprentice BarCarran is distraught,¡± Maedes said. ¡°In particular about the way the  Sky Boat ¡¯s crew treated her. I believed that Halen would be able to provide the best¡ª¡± She broke off, unable to name what it was that Halen could provide. ¡°Understanding view of the situation,¡± she said, finally.

    Aymon thought in silence for a moment, but Maedes was not the type of person to be cowed by his silences. ¡°And I would not? Which is why you¡¯re deliberately keeping my apprentices from me?¡±

    ¡°Sir.¡±

    ¡°Maedes, if I did not owe you a personal debt, this insubordination would cost you your post.¡±

    ¡°Consider your debt paid in full,¡± Maedes said. ¡°Dismiss me. It would be well within reason for you to do so. I should have done more to stop Apprentice BarCarran from involving herself with the  Sky Boat ¡¯s trouble to begin with.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. ¡°It¡¯s good for her to learn to lead.¡±

    Maedes now was the one to be silent. The sound of loud traffic from outside the car she was sitting in was muted, through the tinny microphone of her computer.

    ¡°When will you allow me to see my apprentices?¡± Aymon asked. ¡°I hope you won¡¯t blockade me at the airport when I arrive.¡±

    ¡°If you write to Yan, you may get a better idea of what she needs right now.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s ¡®Yan¡¯ to you now, is she?¡±

    Maedes didn¡¯t rise to that. ¡°If I had judged the situation on the  Sky Boat  better, I would have been able to prevent some of the pain she is in. Not all of it, perhaps, but some,¡± Maedes said. ¡°I consider it my responsibility to not add to it, or allow you to add to it.¡±

    ¡°Let me be clear, Maedes,¡± Aymon said. ¡°If you believe your duty to my apprentice is to shield her from making decisions, and the consequences of those decisions, then you are in the wrong line of work. If Yan succeeds me, as she may, she will not have the luxury of personal feelings. The sooner she understands this, the better.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± Maedes said. It didn¡¯t take Halen¡¯s gift of insight to know that she did not really agree.

    ¡°I will be leaving Tyx in two days. Before I leave ansible range, I would like to have some communication with my apprentices, in whatever form you will so graciously allow that to take.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± Maedes said. ¡°I told Apprentice BarCarran that if you wrote to her, she would be obliged to write you back.¡±

    Aymon gave one sharp nod, then ended the call without any further pleasantries. He smoothed out his expression before he left the ansible room, and kept his steps light instead of prowling through the corridors towards his own room. He found Kino standing in the hallway outside her room, touching the wall of the tunnel with two light fingertips and looking up at the faintly luminescent rock above her, but he swept by her without a single word of acknowledgement, his long red cape flowing behind him and brushing her back.

    Although Aymon could appear cool and professional to those around him, Halen must have felt his approach from down the hall. He was already waiting in Aymon¡¯s quarters, as was their usual evening custom on days when there was nothing urgent happening. He was sitting at the dining table when Aymon came in like a thundercloud, and he said, without looking up, ¡°What did Sid say to you?¡±

    This unexpected query put such a deflating pin in Aymon¡¯s anger that he barked out a laugh. ¡°You know a lot, but you don¡¯t know everything.¡±

    ¡°Is that so?¡± Halen said. His thick fingers turned a page in the notebook he was writing in.

    ¡°Does Sid usually make me this angry?¡±

    ¡°No, but he has the potential to. I don¡¯t think Yan would, so I assume you didn¡¯t talk to her¡ª I wasn¡¯t expecting her to speak to you anyway, since Maedes said she wasn¡¯t planning to contact anyone unless forced.¡± Halen finally looked up. ¡°But you did go to call them,¡± he confirmed.

    ¡°Yes, but your personal project¡ª Maedes¡ª wouldn¡¯t let me see either of my apprentices, regardless of if they wanted to speak to me or not,¡± Aymon said. He took a few pacing steps as he spoke, his arm gesturing like he was addressing a crowd. ¡°So it was a complete waste of my time.¡±

    Halen raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be pleased: in my great magnanimity, I didn¡¯t even do anything you would disapprove of.¡± With Halen, and Halen alone, he could be as loose and unrestrained as he wanted. He used the power to scrape the chair back from the table, then sat down with his legs crossed.

    ¡°I am pleased,¡± Halen said when he had settled himself.

    ¡°I am annoyed,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°What would you have said to Sid, if you had spoken to him?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Aymon said, waving his hand. ¡°Nothing of particular importance. If I felt like he needed it, I would have impressed upon him that I am relying on him to deal with the Olar situation. Focus on the task at hand. I assumed that would be fine, though Maedes seemed to think I would deliberately upset them.¡±

    ¡°Why did you call them, if you had nothing in particular to say?¡±

    ¡°Because they¡¯re my apprentices,¡± Aymon said, half grumbling despite how unbecoming it was as a tone. ¡°Do I need an excuse?¡± Halen smiled at him, and although the expression pleased him, Aymon fitted his face into an annoyed frown. ¡°At least Maedes said that  written  contact would be agreeable to her. You¡¯ll have to write a letter, since I can¡¯t be trusted to not upset whatever delicate balance Maedes thinks she¡¯s striking.¡±

    Halen slid the notebook he had been writing in towards him. Aymon flipped it open, Halen¡¯s neat and blocky handwriting filled the last few pages, his heavy hands on the pen having compressed the thin paper so much that it developed a completely different texture. Halen had anticipated the need, and had already ghostwritten quite a delicate letter to Yan, though it could easily be modified to include Sid.

    ¡°Write your own postscript for it,¡± Halen said as Aymon read it over. ¡°They know what letters from me read like. And Maedes probably won¡¯t tell them that you tried to call.¡±

    Reminded of this, all warmth that Aymon had felt from reading Halen¡¯s letter evaporated. ¡°Just this once, I¡¯m afraid I have to question your staffing choices, Halen,¡± he said.

    ¡°You don¡¯t believe it¡¯s a good sign that Maedes puts her duty towards Yan above her own career?¡±

    ¡°I think she has a complete misunderstanding of what that duty is,¡± Aymon said. When Halen said nothing, Aymon asked, ¡°You don¡¯t agree?¡±

    ¡°What do you think her duty should be?¡± Halen asked.

    ¡°I must confess, I¡¯m not really in the mood for a dialectic,¡± Aymon said.

    Halen laughed. ¡°No, I¡¯m aware.¡± He leaned back in his seat, which creaked under his weight. ¡°You let me choose their minders for a reason.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have the ability to pick that kind of staff,¡± Aymon said. ¡°You already had people in mind.¡±

    ¡°I like Maedes,¡± Halen said. ¡°I picked her because I think she understands something very important.¡±

    ¡°And what might that be?¡±

    ¡°For her to be useful to Yan, her duty is not to you, or the Empire. Her duty is to Yan alone. Yan has other duties, but Maedes has only one.¡±

    Aymon shifted, leaning his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. ¡°Is that so?¡± he asked. Half lazy, flirtatious. ¡°That¡¯s a strange order for you to give her. I don¡¯t know if anyone but you would think that this is the way that Yan is best served, let alone the Empire, or myself.¡±

    ¡°Certainly  you wouldn¡¯t think that,¡± Halen said, smiling. His voice was even, but it was still intended to ruffle Aymon¡¯s feathers. He twitched but refused to give Halen the satisfaction of changing his tone, even if Halen knew exactly how much he had poked him.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t?¡± Aymon asked. ¡°Not even when I consider that I am best served by having you in that way?¡±

    ¡°Are you best served by my attention?¡±

    ¡°I must be. I enjoy it.¡±

    ¡°But you enjoy it less to see people devoted to someone other than yourself,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°I¡¯m not God, Halen,¡± Aymon said, still leaning on his elbow and watching him. ¡°I don¡¯t need the undivided attention of everyone in the universe.¡±

    ¡°No? It sometimes seems like you do.¡± Halen was teasing him openly now.

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I only need yours.¡±

    Halen was silent for a moment, looking at Aymon. ¡°It would be easier for God to attain the universe¡¯s undivided attention, if God made the universe with only one man in it.¡±

    Aymon ignored the verses from  Terae¡¯s Song  which flooded into his head, instead focusing on Halen¡¯s soft eyes and nothing else. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Aymon said. ¡°But since I¡¯m not God, I don¡¯t have to worry about giving every man the same share of my infinite love.¡± He smiled. ¡°I¡¯m afraid you serve a selfish man, rather than a loving God.¡±

    ¡°I prefer one to the other.¡± Although the line was as flirtatious as the rest of the conversation, Halen was weirdly solemn, in a way that Aymon couldn¡¯t pick apart. The smile was gone from Halen¡¯s face, and his voice was soft but low. ¡°And I¡¯ve only served one, for a long time.¡±

    ¡°Apostasy, Halen,¡± he murmured.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Halen replied.

    <hr>

    On the last scheduled day on Tyx-III, Aymon took a plane trip to visit other parts of the front. He left Kino behind, as she had asked to take a tour of the deeper cleared caverns, including some hot springs that were further out. Since she was with her minder and plenty of other guards, and was capable in her own right, Halen deemed it safe enough for her to go, even though communications in the further, deeper part of of the caves away from the base were patchy.

    The flight back to base was exhausting and uncomfortable. It took place in the dark, the sun having set an hour before takeoff, but the onset of night only served to make the constant barrage of wind more disorienting. Without a visual reference to the ground, and with his power unable to reach far enough to feel it, Aymon¡¯s unease grew with every shudder of the fuselage and increasing whine of the engines. Halen was a bulwark against the dark window, his profile lit only by the floor lights in the cabin, which were barely enough to see by. The real lights had been turned off, in case Aymon wished to sleep on the nearly four hour flight, but he found that impossible.

    ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Halen asked Aymon, during the last half hour of their flight, as they were beginning their even rockier descent towards the airstrip.

    Aymon waved his hand. ¡°I don¡¯t like this planet.¡± The sentiment encompassed everything relevant: the state of the war, the current plane trip, and the uneasy feeling the planet seemed to generate in his chest. He had no desire to talk about specifics here in the plane, though. Halen knew it all, anyway.

    ¡°You should have gone with Kino on her sightseeing tour. It seems that she likes it here. She might have been able to get you to come around.¡±

    ¡°It has always been completely opaque to me what Kino likes and dislikes.¡±

    There was a moment of silence, during which only the screaming of the wind could be heard in the cabin.

    ¡°It won¡¯t take us too long to get to Olar,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°That¡¯s a planet I hardly like better.¡±

    Halen nodded and fell silent. They weren¡¯t sitting near enough to each other to touch, and it would have gone against Aymon¡¯s usual professional behavior even if they had, since the airplane was a somewhat public space, given the soldiers not part of Aymon¡¯s personal entourage.

    The door at the front of the cabin opened, revealing a brief glimpse of the glowing control interface of the plane, and the two pilots. One of the pilots turned, and said something to the soldier sitting in the jump seat, who walked carefully back through the swaying airplane to speak to Aymon.

    ¡°First Sandreas, sir, there¡¯s a message from base.¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°General Lang wishes to speak to you as soon as you land.¡±

    ¡°About?¡± Aymon had no patience for this.

    ¡°Base command didn¡¯t say, sir.¡±

    Aymon didn¡¯t even need to motion to Halen, who was already standing from his own seat and making his way to the cockpit to interrogate the base staff over the radio. Aymon waved the soldier off, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against his seat. If there was nothing that could be handled until he landed, then he would just have to wait until he landed.

    He kept his eyes closed, but felt the brush of air moving past him, and then Halen sat in the adjacent seat, this time close enough to touch. He didn¡¯t take Aymon¡¯s hand, laying loose on the armrest, and instead leaned towards him, voice a low rumble directly in his ear.

    ¡°Kino¡¯s party was attacked,¡± he said. ¡°She¡¯s missing.¡±

    Whatever thoughts had been circling Aymon¡¯s head halted in their tracks, and a sudden, empty chill passed over him as it seemed like every muscle in his body tensed at once, outside of his control. Halen put his hand on his shoulder, to stop him from leaping from his seat, and left it there.

    ¡°We¡¯ll find her when we land,¡± Halen said. ¡°We¡¯ll be down in ten minutes. Lang is meeting us at the airfield.¡±

    ¡°When did this happen?¡± Aymon asked. His voice was clear and cold, but this wouldn¡¯t fool Halen, who could feel every one of Aymon¡¯s nerves on high alert.

    ¡°Several hours ago. But the group she was with only made it back into contact with the base about twenty minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°Why, exactly, did it take so long?¡±

    ¡°The attack involved several sections of the tunnels being caved in. There hasn¡¯t been a full investigation yet. But it cut off communications, and caused Kino to become separated from the group.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Aymon asked. His anger, the easiest emotion to reach for deliberately, the one that could push away fear¡ª if only because it gave him something to  do ¡ª made him want to take the soldiers who had abandoned his apprentice and¡ª

    ¡°When the tunnel collapsed on top of them, Kino shoved them out of the way of the falling rock, and they ended up on opposite sides of the obstruction,¡± Halen said. His voice was even. Aymon wondered if he was lying, just to douse his anger. It didn¡¯t help much, even if he was.

    ¡°And is anyone looking for her?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Halen said shortly.

    The remainder of the ride was tense and silent, and when the plane skidded to a touchdown on the airfield, Aymon was getting up from his seat before the plane had even come to a stop. Everyone scrambled to clear a path for him to leave the plane.

    The whipping wind outside was still too hot for comfort and felt incongruous with the darkness, and the sparse lighting of the runway and the plane¡¯s landing lights only made Aymon¡¯s shadow stretch and bend crazily as he stalked towards General Lang, standing with her soldiers on at the end of the airfield.

    Aymon used the power to make his voice carry further¡ª not even a difficult trick, but an effective one. ¡°Where is my apprentice, General Lang?¡± he asked. He hadn¡¯t even yelled, but the sound cut through the wind like a knife.

    She didn¡¯t answer until he was closer.

    ¡°We¡¯re looking for her,¡± she said. ¡°Teams have already been dispatched to clear the blockages, and to navigate to her last known location through alternate routes. We will find her.¡±

    ¡°I was assured that you would not lose her in the first place,¡± Aymon said. ¡°You will have to forgive me for having little confidence in your assurances, at this point.¡±

    The coldness in his voice startled his old friend, and her demeanor changed. In this moment, they were no longer friends. ¡°Yes, sir,¡± said.

    ¡°General Lang,¡± Halen said. Aymon hadn¡¯t even noticed him coming up behind him, but of course Halen was going to stay at his shoulder, as close as possible. ¡°Is Apprentice Mejia likely to be alive?¡±

    Lang¡¯s expression was unreadable in the blinking red runway lights. ¡°Yes,¡± she said. ¡°She seems like the type.¡±

    Halen stared at her. ¡°Please do not confuse your hopes with an accurate assessment of the facts, General,¡± he said finally.

 The Theater of Good Faith

    The Theater of Good Faith

    Yan did not sleep well at all in her hotel room on Olar. She woke up several times during the night, freezing cold with sweat, her whole body trapped as she found herself ensnared in blankets that she must have been wrestling with during the short time in which she had lost consciousness. When the sun finally rose over the mountaintops, Yan felt more tired than she had been the night before.

    Despite not wanting to do anything, let alone her duties on Olar, Yan got dressed. On a better day, she might have enjoyed the experience, since she had been provided a whole new wardrobe to wear in the deep winter weather: her cassock was heavy wool, and her new boots were shiny black leather, which laced up over her pants to her thighs. The ensemble was topped with a hooded black cloak, with red embroidered flowers all along the edges. She tucked fur lined gloves into its pockets.

    Iri summoned her out of her room punctually at eight thirty. Yan was conscious enough to notice the pity in Iri¡¯s expression now, as Iri looked at Yan¡¯s sunken eyes and slumped shoulders. It didn¡¯t make her feel any better, that much was certain.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get some coffee in you,¡± Iri said. ¡°It won¡¯t help, but at least you won¡¯t be asleep on your feet.¡±

    Yan followed her down to the hotel¡¯s restaurant. Sid was already there. In the sparkling white light coming in through the tall windows, bouncing off the snow outside, the pits under his eyes were so deep they looked like bruises.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t sleep well?¡± Yan signed at him as she sat down.

    Sid shrugged, and didn¡¯t say anything else. Yan wondered if he had taken the vena, when he had spent the night by himself. But that wasn¡¯t something she could easily ask when Sid¡¯s minder, Hernan, and Iri were right there.

    ¡°Eat your breakfast,¡± Iri said as the food was brought over. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what¡¯s on the docket.¡±

    The meal that was set down in front of Yan was far too rich: a savory oatmeal with bacon and onions, all salty and fatty. It probably tasted delicious, but Yan¡¯s stomach churned at the first bite.

    ¡°Eat,¡± Iri said again as Yan put down her spoon. ¡°The first thing on your schedule is a tour of the city. You¡¯ll regret it if you don¡¯t have something in your body. It¡¯s well below zero outside.¡±

    She tried again, alternating each bite with sips of scalding coffee, just to help her swallow it down.

    In a somewhat more gentle tone, Iri said, ¡°Will you be able to manage a dinner at the governor¡¯s palace tonight?¡±

    ¡°Without looking like she¡¯s dying?¡± Sid asked, aloud.

    Iri narrowed her eyes at him.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to let First Sandreas down.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Iri said. ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±

    ¡°Has he written back to you?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Not yet. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s very busy at the front.¡±

    Yan nodded dully.

    Iri explained the schedule. In the morning, they were to be given a tour of the city. Iri said that this was probably to impress upon them how much the planet relied on Guild trade, so that Yan and Sid might be more willing to pressure the Guild into reinstating their trading charters with the planet, without the Olar government making any serious reforms.

    ¡°But the governor knows we don¡¯t have that power,¡± Yan said. ¡°I can¡¯t order the Guild to do anything.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re not going to try, either,¡± Iri said. ¡°You two are more here to bring Olar in line than you are to talk to the Guild.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Yan said. ¡°I just don¡¯t see the point. Of the tour, I mean.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll enjoy it,¡± Iri said. ¡°A change of setting will be good for you.¡±

    Yan shrugged.

    ¡°Anyway, you¡¯ll have the afternoon free. You¡¯re welcome to spend that time resting, or we can go over what you should expect at your dinner with the governor.¡±

    ¡°The  Neutron Star  will be here tomorrow?¡± Yan asked.

    Iri pursed her lips before answering. ¡°Yes. But I don¡¯t recommend you think about that now.¡±

    Yan couldn¡¯t help but think about it. But she dutifully finished her breakfast, and put on her new warm cloak and gloves in order to go out for the tour.

    Iri had been right, which surprised Yan. Despite her misgivings, and the clear purpose of the sightseeing as a whistlestop propaganda tour, Yan couldn¡¯t help but find some strange comfort in being outdoors. The sky was cloudless and a pale blue, and the mountains that cupped the city in their bowl glowed white under the bright sun. The cold wind, although it chapped her face immediately, kept Yan focused on the present. She was even able to smile in a way that approached genuine, when she was posed for photographs in front of landmarks and shook hands with the people of Olar.

    They were shown many places around the city, first to some of the farms and infrastructure that lay on the outer edges, built into terraces on the lower lying parts of the mountains, and some of the mining operations that carved down into the mountains themselves. Olar had been chosen as a planet to settle because of its combination of relatively normal day length and gravity, and its planetary mineral composition, and that of the surrounding asteroid belt, which included an unusually large amount of high value ores. With those factors, it was worth the effort of terraforming the planet to give it a habitable temperature and breathable atmosphere. But this process meant that, more than most other colony planets, Olar was dependent on Guild trade for key imports, and their economy on exporting their goods.

    Yan wouldn¡¯t have needed to be told how critical the Guild was in maintaining Olar¡¯s standard of living. She understood that from before they had even set foot on the planet, and she could see it in things that their tour guide didn¡¯t point out: all their electronics were stamped with off-planet manufacture brand names, and there was a strange sameness to the products that had been manufactured on the planet. There were only two or three different styles of tables, or railings, or electrical boxes on walls: many things looked like they were cut and pasted over and over, suggesting that there were only perhaps one or two manufacturing centers for anything that was made on the ground. The population was so low that it couldn¡¯t support much more than that. And when they toured through the open-air marketplace for lunch, Yan noticed that, while there were plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables that had been greenhouse grown, the bags of flour and other staple grains and shelf-stable crops were mainly of off-planet origin. It was the same as it was growing up on a Guild ship, in that respect¡ª greenhouse space was better served by growing things that were eaten fresh.

    It would be very bad for Olar if the Guild did not resume their shipments to the planet immediately. This was clear.

    But, at the same time, it was easy to see why Olar was a perfect place for pirates to gather. They probably did excellent trade with the planet: with so many ships coming in and out, and so many goods passing in both directions, this was a place for illegal goods to easily enter the Empire¡¯s bloodstream, or leave it. There were probably few places in the Empire where it would be easier to smuggle out and sell finished technological equipment on the black market¡ª possibly even to the adversary across the galaxy. Yan knew that at least some of what pirates did was trading advanced goods for raw materials used in the production of drugs; both were easy currencies.

    There were probably several different things happening in the space around Olar. Legitimate mining interests provided enough shipment of material up and down from the planet¡¯s surface that it could cover for smuggled goods in both directions. Pirate ships would meet with sub-light, planet bound ships in the system, exchanging their wares. In richer systems, there would be more of a watch to stop this from happening, but on Olar, their wasn¡¯t much¡ª and what there was, Yan suspected was being bribed to ignore these goings on.

    Some of those goods that were exchanged that way would stay on Olar, but some, probably the majority, would be repackaged among Olar¡¯s legitimate exports, to be smuggled on Guild ships and redistributed in the black market in the larger Empire. Guild ships, after all, did not have the time, inclination, or authority to inspect the cargo that they loaded on board. The contracts they signed with planetary businesses usually included stipulations that the huge bulk cargo containers were not to be tampered with¡ª and indeed most were sealed completely before they left port in a way that would show if they had been opened. This wasn¡¯t to say that the Guild ships who left Olar were unaware of their cargo¡ª no Guild captain got their position through stupidity¡ª but there was little benefit in raising a fuss. Yan¡¯s family had usually avoided most of this dance, because the  Iron Dreams  mainly worked within the core of the Empire, not the outer circle of smaller colony planets.

    Regardless of the parasitic relationship that the pirates had with the Guild, it seemed that this didn¡¯t stop the particularly unscrupulous among them from taking shots at the visiting Guild ships. There must be several pirate ships who needed replacement stardrives, and the only way for them to get them was to attack Guild ships, to attempt to take theirs. That was surely the motivation for the attack on the  Sky Boat . Someone in the Olar starzone control office was probably selling the list of chartered arrivals and listed routes to pirates.

    But thinking of the logistics of all of this brought Yan back to the open wound inside of herself, feeling like the pit of her stomach was constantly falling out. She steadied herself on an icy railing in the market as they walked through, trying to ground herself by clinging to the metal. All around her, people hawked their wares, bustling between tents set up along shoveled paths in the snow.

    ¡°Here,¡± Iri said. She handed Yan and Sid both steaming containers of hot chocolate. Yan was startled, having not even noticed she had gone to get them. ¡°Glad to see you didn¡¯t wander far.¡±

    The tour guide was now talking with Hernan and some of their Fleet escorts. ¡°I think we¡¯re done with the tour,¡± Yan said. ¡°Where did you go¡ª I didn¡¯t see you leave?¡±

    ¡°I figured we almost were,¡± Iri said. ¡°I had to go to the bathroom. Passed a stall selling these on the way back. Figured you might want to warm up.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Yan shook her head. ¡°Halen would tell me off for not being observant enough.¡±

    Iri smiled. ¡°I won¡¯t tell him if you don¡¯t.¡± She nudged Yan¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Are you feeling any better?¡±

    ¡°You were right that getting some air would help,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Good.¡± Iri glanced over at Sid, who had wandered a little way away, to go look at one of the storefronts past the tents. He had pushed his glasses, gone foggy with the steam of his hot chocolate, up on top of his head, and he was reading the listed rates on a sign for a tattoo parlor. ¡°We don¡¯t have time for  that ,¡± Iri said.

    ¡°He won¡¯t go in,¡± Yan said, but was proven wrong as Sid opened the door, the jingling of a little bell cutting through the chatter of the marketplace and making Yan cringe. He was too far away to jog to in a dignified way, so the only thing that Yan could do was reach out with the power and tug him gently by the hem of his own cloak. He stopped halfway in the door, turned towards her, and made a rude sign. Yan made a beckoning gesture, and he gave a visible sigh and came back over. She put her hot chocolate down on the snowy railing so that they could converse more easily.

    ¡°What¡¯s the sign for t-a-t-t-o-o?¡± Yan signed as he came over.

    He made the signs for needle and picture up near his face. Yan repeated them, raising her eyebrows in a question, and pointed at the decorative embroidery on the hem of Sid¡¯s cloak. He stuck out his tongue and repeated them at chest level, further away from his body.

    ¡°You¡¯re in a better mood,¡± Iri said. Sid, whose glasses were still up on his forehead, ignored her.

    ¡°Do you want a tattoo?¡± Yan signed.

    He shrugged, though she did think he was interested.

    Iri reached over to him and pushed his glasses down his face so that he could understand her speaking. It had been a harmless gesture, but it caused Sid to react violently, his face contorting into a snarl, and he whacked Iri¡¯s hand away, hard enough that his glasses went flying off his head and landed in the snow a couple meters distant.

    ¡°Do not ever touch me like that,¡± he said aloud. His voice was rough and thick with anger, the words slurring. Though he usually had a slight affect and accent, it bore no resemblance to his harsh tone now. ¡°Do you understand?¡±

    Iri nodded, just once.

    Sid turned away from her, back towards where Yan had been standing, but she was walking over to pick up his glasses from the path before they were trampled underfoot. She knew that Sid could use the power to understand spoken language, but since he used the glasses much more often, she assumed it took too much effort to use the power all the time. She wouldn¡¯t want to have their mission to Olar crumble because of that.

    She wiped the snow off the lenses with the hem of her cloak as she walked back over to Sid. She tried to hand them to him, but he ignored her outstretched arm and instead just looked at her¡ª she wished she could understand what he was trying to communicate with his expression.

    In an attempt to ease the tension, Yan put the glasses on herself. They were heavy, and slipped down her nose. But it worked, and Sid¡¯s anger fell away as he smirked at her, then shook his head. He reached towards her, and Yan¡¯s heart thrummed strangely as his hand filled her entire field of view to pluck the glasses from her nose. She stayed perfectly still. She and Sid had spent plenty of time close together, but it still was a strange invasion of her personal space. She could understand, at least in part, why Sid had reacted the way he had.

    He tugged the glasses from her face and placed them back on his own. Then he smiled, as if nothing had happened.

    ¡°Are we done here?¡± he asked aloud. And his voice was perfectly calm.

    ¡°I believe so,¡± Iri said. ¡°Unless there was something else you wanted to see, or anything you wanted to get at the market.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°There isn¡¯t.¡±

    Sid gave a backwards glance at the tattoo parlor, then shrugged.

    <hr>

    Although the tour had been a welcome distraction, the moment she was back in the hotel, in the couple hours they had to prepare or rest before meeting the governor, Yan¡¯s thoughts immediately turned dark once again. It didn¡¯t help that when she opened up her computer, she found the letter from First Sandreas that she knew had been coming.

    She hesitated to read it, looking at the first line and then hastily clicking away, afraid to read further. But she knew she had to respond¡ª it was duty¡ª so she had no choice but to look. She noticed immediately that the letter was unexpectedly tender, which meant that it had obviously not been written by First Sandreas. Yan remembered that Halen was responsible for ghostwriting much of Sandreas¡¯s more personal correspondence¡ª any letters that were not of the strictly political kind that were drafted by the veritable army of speechwriters and secretaries who worked in Stonecourt¡¯s vast halls.

    <blockquote>

    Dear Yan,

    The first thing I did, when I learned that the  Sky Boat  had been attacked by pirates, was to thank God for your safety. If any harm had come to you and Sid, I would have been unable to forgive myself. Although your position as my apprentice is unavoidably dangerous, I never intended for this trip to place you or Sid in harm¡¯s way. I hope you know this.

    My second instinct is always to reach for praise or punishment, like any teacher with his students. For your sake, I will quell that impulse. I understand that praise¡ª for your leadership, for your skill, for your decisiveness¡ª is not something that you wish to hear right now.

    What you want is reassurance, and this is something that I find very difficult to give. I have never been a man of gentle expression, and you and Sid are the ones who will feel that lack the keenest. This is compounded by the distance between us, but even if you were by my side, I am afraid that I would be unable to find the correct words to ease the burden of duty.

    Perhaps this is because there is no way to ease it, or to soften its blow. I am sure you understand this already.

    (Call to mind the  Song of the Red King  and the verse which reads,  ¡°For he balanced the scale of life and death on the edge of his sword.¡±  This, I am afraid, is my duty, and will one day be yours, if it is not already.)

    If you were by my side right now, I would try to stop myself from praising you for doing what you needed to do in the course of duty. I might even tell myself that duty is not something that warrants praise for accomplishing it, because it exists outside of one¡¯s self, and what one feels about their duty is irrelevant to its completion. But I would find that a difficult line to hold to, true or not, because I would want to express my pride in you, and the conviction that I could not have chosen better apprentices. God led me to you because of the strength that you have in your heart, and you have proven to me again how bountiful that strength is.

    But you do not want praise, or to hear that this painful strength is a gift. I understand. If I were by your side, I would instead offer the only reassurance that I could: that I am here for you, and that I understand the burden that I and God have placed on your shoulders. I would sit quietly by your side, and I would hope that this reassurance¡ª all that I can give¡ª would be enough.

    Until then, I will pray for you.

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    Yours,

    Aymon Sandreas

    P.S. By request of your minder, I will be joining you on Olar as soon as my duties at the front are concluded. I expect that you will have the situation with the Guild well in hand by then. If you feel a desire to speak face to face before I leave the front, you may call me on the ansible at any time.

    </blockquote>

    The post script, with its clipped tone, Yan suspected  had  been written by First Sandreas.

    The letter left a strange feeling in her heart. Halen surely knew that  Yan  knew that he was writing this letter. How much of this was Halen expressing the thoughts that, by ¡®his¡¯ own admission, Sandreas had difficulty expressing, and how much was it something that Halen had invented from whole cloth, as an attempt to make Yan feel better? Why would she want his reassurances anyway? She wasn¡¯t reassured. She felt restless.

    Yan shoved her computer away from herself and went to stand by the huge windows overlooking the city. The day had grown grey, and a light snow was falling. The sun, visible only as a white glow in one part of the clouds, was heading towards the peaks of the mountains, and it would soon vanish completely out of sight.

    Halen¡ª thinking of him felt worse than thinking of Sandreas. Sandreas could talk about duty. That was an easy thing to understand, despite how little comfort it gave. But Sandreas was not a spacer, so he didn¡¯t understand the way that Yan had abandoned the  Sky Boat , and he certainly couldn¡¯t understand what Yan and Sid had done to the pirates. But Halen¡­ He had been a pirate.

    Yan wondered if the reason that he did not write to her under his own name was because he resented her for killing people who might have been his distant kin. She pushed that thought away.

    A response would be required. Yan hadn¡¯t sat down and written a letter to anyone seriously intending to send it yet, so this task daunted her. But she found that she could write in the smooth, professional tone that she used when writing an essay for the masters at the Academy. If her words contained no scrap of personal feeling, then they were easy to put on paper. She reassured Sandreas that she and Sid were still able to meet with the Olar government, and that their tour of the capital this morning had gone well. Nothing was amiss, and there was no need for concern.

    As she wrote, Yan even found it to be true. She could embody this persona¡ª as the letter had said: duty did not require her emotional input. That was true of her duty on Olar, if nothing else.

    <hr>

    The governor¡¯s palace was carved directly into the mountainside, led up to with a long winding road that clung to the rock face and looped back and forth dizzyingly. The sun had set about an hour previously, so the whole scene, as Yan and Sid approached in their limo, was lit only by the golden glow coming from the house itself, shining out of the windows and doors and glinting on the white rock faces. It was an impressive sight, clearly built to ape the style of Stonecourt, but it didn¡¯t quite match the harsh splendor that the capitol building on Emerri had. It was a poor imitation, and, as it was carved into the mountain, it was a facade only.

    Yan and Sid barely spoke on the drive up, only exchanging a few words about the letters that they had received from Sandreas, and what their plan would be with the governor. Sid seemed listless and tired, despite the coffee that Yan had seen him down before they left the hotel.

    ¡°I can do most of the talking, if you want,¡± Yan offered.

    ¡°I¡¯m not a baby,¡± Sid said, but left it at that.

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure if she should be glad that this was to be a truly private dinner. Only she and Sid would be joining the governor¡ª it was a practically intimate affair. Even Iri and Sid¡¯s minder would be waiting elsewhere. Iri thought it was a power play, on the governor¡¯s part, to separate the two apprentices, whom the governor must have considered very young and inexperienced, from their support structure. Yan gave the governor the benefit of the doubt. She didn¡¯t know how well she could handle having a real state dinner, with tens or hundreds of people. And maybe the governor meant it as a sincere appeal, for this meeting to be actually used to discuss policy, which would not be possible at a large gathering.

    Either way, as the limo stopped at the bottom of the palace¡¯s steps, the great doors heaved open, and the governor stepped out, waiting at the top for Yan and Sid. They were forced to climb the huge set of stairs to greet him, and he watched with a beneficent smile that Yan couldn¡¯t help but find already grating.

    Governor Laoti Cresas was an older man, with thin grey hair cut so close to his scalp that the tattoos which covered his skull and dripped in stripes down the side of his lined face were quite visible. He was probably in his late seventies, but he still stood ramrod straight, and his eyes flicked appraisingly between Yan and Sid, not hiding his curiosity at all.

    ¡°If it hasn¡¯t been said a hundred thousand times to you already, welcome to Olar, Apprentice BarCarran, Apprentice Welslak,¡± he said. His voice was warm, and he offered his hand to shake. Yan and Sid each did, in turn. ¡°I¡¯m so pleased to meet the future of the Empire. God willing, I will live long enough to see one of you become First. It¡¯s an honor to be the subject of your first official visit, though I wish it were under happier circumstances.¡±

    Yan tried to smile. The rush of words from Governor Cresas made her feel like she wasn¡¯t going to be able to get a word in edgewise. ¡°Thank you, Governor.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been told that good money is on Apprentice Mejia becoming First,¡± Sid said.

    Cresas laughed. ¡°It seems far too early to tell such things,¡± he said. ¡°Please, let¡¯s come inside. Neither of you must be used to the weather here.¡± He glanced behind himself at the two apprentices as he strode confidently through the door of the palace. ¡°No weather at all on Guild ships, and I¡¯ve been told Galena is one of the mildest planets to make a home on.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve spent half my life on Emerri,¡± Sid said dismissively as he shrugged off his heavy cloak and handed it to the waiting butler in the hall. ¡°I know what winter is.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. I forgot that you sensitives attend the Academy.¡± Cresas laughed. Yan didn¡¯t think it was possible that the governor could have truly forgotten that Yan and Sid were very recent Academy graduates¡ª was he trying to put them at ease, reminding them that he was not a sensitive and therefore would defer to them; or was he trying to remind them of their youth?

    The governor turned to Yan. ¡°If you¡¯ve spent so much time on planets, do your spacer kin all think that you¡¯re their poor groundbound cousin? I¡¯ll admit that when I heard that you¡ª of the three of First Sandreas¡¯s apprentices¡ª were coming here to help me negotiate with the Guild, I was a little worried that you might be biased in their favor.¡± He laughed again. ¡°If you¡¯re not as close with them as I had thought, I¡¯m a little relieved.¡±

    Yan¡¯s smile was frozen on her face. ¡°My instructions from First Sandreas are to be as fair as possible when resolving this issue,¡± Yan said. ¡°Please rest assured that Apprentice Welslak and I want to fix this problem for the sake of the Imperial citizens of Olar.¡±

    ¡°Of course, of course! I didn¡¯t mean to imply otherwise.¡±

    They came to a small, but quite lavish, dining room, with a table already set up for the three of them. Yan hadn¡¯t been sure what the custom on Olar was¡ª if this had been a dinner function on Emerri, like one of many that Sandreas had brought her to, they might have spent some time in another room first, having some drinks and light conversation before the meal. But Cresas seemed eager to get directly to the point. He gave a little bow, gesturing for them to take seats. He took the head of the table, which meant that Yan and Sid were separated, facing each other.

    She was beginning to think that this was deliberate. Sitting next to Sid, she would have been able to touch his hand out of sight and therefore speak with him through the power. Across from each other, they had no such way of coordinating. Cresas understood how sensitives operated¡ª his line about the Academy had been a lie. Yan¡¯s desire to give him the benefit of the doubt had fallen away quickly. But she sat, still smiling, though the tension in her body made her feel like she couldn¡¯t get a comfortable position on the wooden chair.

    The furniture in the governor¡¯s palace was real wood, she noticed¡ª everywhere else on Olar, everything was plastic or the kind of compressed biomass fiber that was made primarily of farming waste. There weren¡¯t many trees on Olar¡ª at least not right now¡ª so this furniture, heavy oak, would have been imported. Very expensive. She touched the polished surface of the table lightly with two fingers.

    Before Yan could think of anything to say, servants came in bearing the first course of their meal, and wine for their glasses, and then Governor Cresas was saying a blessing. The governor closed his eyes to pray, which gave Sid the opportunity to raise his eyebrows at Yan: saying the blessing was usually the privilege of guests.

    ¡°Lord,¡± Cresas said, ¡°You give us the gift of companionship. As Terae walked between the stars in search of friendship, so to do our friends cross the wide ways to meet us where we stand. How good the Lord is to make the journey easy, and the distance short. How good the Lord is to provide the bread that we may break together.¡±

    Cresas lowered his prayerful hands and opened his eyes, smiling. Yan raised her wineglass and tried to drink. The journey had been anything but easy.

    ¡°I did hear that you had some trouble on the way,¡± Cresas said. ¡°I am sorry that was the case, and I¡¯m very glad that you made it here unscathed.¡± He let out a little laugh. ¡°I¡¯ve only had the privilege of speaking with First Sandreas a few times, but I know he would not have looked favorably on us here if any harm had come to you on your journey.¡±

    Yan couldn¡¯t even politely smile at that.

    ¡°We were lucky,¡± Sid said. ¡°But it does go to show how much of a legitimate complaint the Guild has, with regard to ships being ambushed en route to Olar. If Apprentice BarCarran and I had not been on the  Sky Boat , the situation might have been very different.¡±

    ¡°But the  Sky Boat  was out in interstellar space when it was attacked,¡± Cresas said. ¡°You couldn¡¯t possibly hold that against us. The Guild¡¯s complaint is about the edge of our starzone. This was a coincidence. A terrible one, I admit, but a coincidence nonetheless.¡±

    ¡°Governor, when coincidences are good, we say that they happened by the grace of God. Since I have faith in a loving God, I would hesitate to place the blame in God¡¯s hands this time.¡± Sid smiled and tilted his wineglass, letting the liquid catch the warm light before he drank. ¡°And if work is not done by God¡¯s hands, then it is done by man¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°You do sound like First Sandreas,¡± Cresas said. Sid wouldn¡¯t hear his darker tone, but Yan did. ¡°He must have chosen his apprentices well.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Sid said. But some of his confidence faltered, at that moment, and he looked down at his soup.

    A painful silence descended on the room. ¡°You¡¯ve only met First Sandreas a few times?¡± Yan asked, trying to fill the space. ¡°I thought you had been governor for as long as First Sandreas has been First.¡±

    ¡°It has been a long time. But the Governor¡¯s Dinner only happens every few years, and First Sandreas has limited time to devote to a distant circle run planet with fewer than a billion inhabitants. Especially a small planet that has tried not to cause too many problems for him.¡± He chuckled. ¡°But I¡¯ve heard even governors of planets with tens of billions of people complain that he doesn¡¯t pay them enough attention, so perhaps I¡¯m not being fair to him. After all, he has sent two of his apprentices here to resolve this issue. I feel certain that it could have been dealt with without anyone coming to visit us all the way out here.¡± He smiled. ¡°But I can¡¯t complain about First Sandreas¡¯s generosity in this regard.¡±

    ¡°I am happy to try to help,¡± Yan said as soon as the governor let her get a word in edgewise.

    ¡°I assume that First Sandreas expected this to be an easy task for you, as your first outing?¡±

    ¡°No one wants to see the people of Olar starve,¡± Yan said, ¡°least of all First Sandreas. Whatever is required, you may rest assured that the Guild will resume trade with the planet before we leave, regardless of how difficult it is to reach an agreement.¡±

    ¡°You are very confident!¡± He laughed again. ¡°When I was your age, I suppose I was the same. Though I had none of the authority that being First Sandreas¡¯s apprentice grants you.¡±

    ¡°First Sandreas has the authority,¡± Yan said. ¡°He¡¯s only loaning it to us.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± Cresas replied. ¡°You must have been given liberty to resolve this problem on your own, or First Sandreas would have simply sent a missive with instructions. Your presence is its own kind of authority. Don¡¯t forget it!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you think so, Governor,¡± Sid said. He smiled, but it wasn¡¯t his usual cheerful smile¡ª there was something with more teeth in it. He went back to eating his food.

    ¡°You must have been very young when you became governor,¡± Yan said, trying to make conversation before directly jumping into whatever policy discussion they were going to have. ¡°That must have been difficult for you.¡±

    Cresas laughed. ¡°I¡¯m told I was charming as a young man. That made me easy to elect. And once I was elected once, people liked the work I did.¡± He cocked his head. ¡°Out here in the wilderness, there¡¯s fewer people like the two of you who want to rise to the top. All your fellow sensitives like to be where civilization is.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s true,¡± Yan said. ¡°When I was a student, I wanted to do xenobiology research. That would have put me out in the frontier, I¡¯m sure.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s different for spacers,¡± Cresas exclaimed.¡±You all have an itch to travel.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Yan said, feeling uncomfortable.

    ¡°You¡¯re lucky to be First Sandreas¡¯s apprentice,¡± Cresas said. ¡°Probably the only apprenticeship you could have gotten that would have entailed more travel would be as one of Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s little pair.¡± He laughed again. ¡°You know, I said that sending you two apprentices here shows respect from First Sandreas, but it feels like a snub for the Guildmaster to send his.¡±

    Yan knew that all this discussion of the Guild was unavoidable, but it was making it hard for her to eat her meal. She was nauseous, and sweating under her cassock, dizzy with it. Still, she tried to keep her voice even. ¡°Why do you say that? Everyone I¡¯ve spoken to seems to respect Apprentice Olms.¡±

    Cresas raised an eyebrow. ¡°She¡¯s never going to become Guildmaster. She¡¯s a glorified errand girl. It goes to show that the Guild is not looking to negotiate here in good faith. If they were, Guildmaster Vaneik would have come himself.¡±

    ¡°Governor, good faith or not, the issue will be resolved,¡± Sid said. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter who the Guild sends.¡±

    ¡°I hope you are correct,¡± Cresas said. ¡°There is only so long Olar can survive as an island, and that timer has already begun counting down.¡±

    ¡°I understand,¡± Yan said. ¡°And I hope that you understand that, as well.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, exactly, Apprentice?¡±

    ¡°What she means is that you¡¯re going to have to be the one to make concessions,¡± Sid snapped. ¡°We¡¯re not here to lean on the Guild.¡±

    This outburst made Yan glance at Sid and raise her eyebrows, and shocked Cresas into a moment of silence, taking a sip from his wine and composing himself before he spoke again.

    ¡°You¡¯re quite direct,¡± Cresas said. ¡°But the Guild is who you should be negotiating with. They are the ones who have the power to change the situation.¡± He spread his hands. ¡°We here are quite powerless¡ª unless the Imperial government feels like granting us stardrives and allowing us to trade with other systems without the Guild as an intermediary.¡±

    ¡°The Guild is the aggrieved party,¡± Sid said. ¡°It is because of Olar¡¯s negligence¡ª or worse¡ª that the Guild has been under attack. We saw that for ourselves.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like what you¡¯re implying, Apprentice Welslak.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to like it for it to be true,¡± Sid said. ¡°Olar is directly profiting from allowing pirates to come into and out of the system unimpeded, and this is posing a danger to not only the Guild ships that pass through here, but to the health of the entire Empire. You are a person who has the power to change that, and the fact that you have allowed the situation to degrade this far means that there must be profit for you in¡ª¡±

    Yan was alarmed at Sid¡¯s outburst. ¡°What Apprentice Welslak means to say is¡ª¡±

    ¡°I understand perfectly what he¡¯s saying, Apprentice BarCarran,¡± Cresas said. ¡°Being deaf has not prevented him from speaking quite clearly.¡±

    This remark caused Sid¡¯s hand to clench. Yan saw the motion, and watched Sid relax his hand, deliberately.

    Cresas, who hadn¡¯t noticed Sid¡¯s reaction, or was unfazed by it, continued. ¡°I didn¡¯t think he would go as far as to imply that I participate in the black market, but if he wants to believe that, perhaps it¡¯s better to air it rather than think it silently.¡± He raised his glass. ¡°Do you believe the same?¡±

    Yan wasn¡¯t sure what to say. ¡°I hope that you will be willing to make changes that will ensure the Guild feels safer operating within your star system.¡±

    Cresas¡¯s smile was grim. ¡°I don¡¯t want to set the precedent that the Guild can dictate the internal workings of small colonies. They would never try something like this for a planet like Galena.¡±

    ¡°Galena does not have a pirate problem,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°I¡¯m not asking you to let them dictate policy,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m just looking for cooperation, and good faith.¡±

    ¡°Then what concessions are you looking for, Apprentice?¡±

    ¡°I think that increasing security within the system¡ª better monitoring of all sub-light ships and mining facilities¡­¡± Yan began. Cresas was almost smirking¡ª as close to it as he could come while still having a veneer of respect for Yan. She had to trail off.

    ¡°We follow the standards that the Guild agreed to many years ago,¡± Cresas said. ¡°Requiring us to budget more¡ª to waste time and resources on additional surveillance, which will be not only meaningless and useless, but also unpopular¡ª why would that even appease the Guild?¡±

    ¡°It would be a show of good faith,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°The theater of ¡®good faith¡¯ is not a show I¡¯m interested in performing. I like things that are real, Apprentice. Real things like shipments of grain, and our ores being sold at fair prices on the the market. Those are what matters¡ª and the Guild has to understand that providing those real things is what they exist to do. They are not policy makers, and they do not get to start running my star system. I¡¯m not going to go to them on my hands and knees. This is a power play from them¡ª they saw an opportunity to make an example of us, to show the Imperial government¡ª and every planet¡ª how much power they can wield.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid, Governor, that if you refuse to make any changes, the changes will be made for you,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°What, exactly, are you threatening me with, Apprentice? Stationing Fleet ships in this system?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sid said. ¡°There shouldn¡¯t be any need to go that far.¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡± Cresas asked. Yan began to open her mouth, but Sid made a slight motion above the table with his hand, a signal for her to let him speak.

    ¡°First Sandreas has been remarkably lax with allowing small planets to operate as they see fit,¡± Sid said. ¡°The position of Imperial Advisor on Olar has not been filled except ceremonially for many years. Olar¡¯s council representatives, too, have been elected rather than appointed. An unwillingness to root out corruption at its source would indicate that the Imperial government must use a firmer hand to protect the citizens of Olar from their own planetary government¡¯s poor choices.¡±

    This pronouncement left an uncomfortable pall over the room.

    ¡°So, this was why First Sandreas sent you here,¡± Cresas said. ¡°As a show of Imperial authority, to cut me out of negotiations with the Guild entirely. Because the citizens of Olar should have no choice in how their planet is governed.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°That¡¯s not what we were sent here for.¡±

    ¡°We were sent to solve this problem, and solve it quickly,¡± Sid said. ¡°First Sandreas did not give us a specific instruction.¡± Sid smiled, but it was one of his smiles with teeth. ¡°He might even be annoyed with me¡ª after all, there has been a reason he has not used the full weight of Imperial authority on so many small border planets. If we must take control of the whole government, it will send a stronger message than even the Guild is sending.¡±

    ¡°Then why are you doing it, if this is not even the outcome that First Sandreas is looking for?¡± Cresas asked. All the joviality had fallen out of his tone¡ª and it must have been false to begin with. He was nearly gritting his teeth.

    Sid smiled and didn¡¯t answer.

    ¡°If you¡¯re willing to negotiate with the Guild, we won¡¯t have to,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Have you never heard of an ultimatum, Governor?¡± Sid said. ¡°I want this resolved quickly, and I¡¯m telling you that if you do not resolve it quickly, then we will resolve it for you.¡±

    Cresas was silent.

    ¡°You¡¯ll have a chance to speak with the Guild,¡± Yan said. ¡°Come to your own terms that you find mutually agreeable, and there shouldn¡¯t be a need¡ª¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to play this tag team game with me,¡± Cresas said. ¡°I understand perfectly well what my options are.¡± He looked at Yan directly. ¡°What I do not understand is why you think the Imperial government should bow to the Guild. You could demand things of them as easily as you demand things of me¡ª but you don¡¯t.¡±

    Yan¡¯s stomach flipped, and she opened her mouth to try to say something else conciliatory, but the words wouldn¡¯t come out. There was no way she could make any demands of the Guild right now. Even beyond the longstanding agreements between the Guild and the Imperial government that made the Guild a politically independent body, Yan was not in any position to negotiate with the Guild. She was sure that they would not be interested in hearing anything that they had to say.

    Even as she was annoyed at Sid for far overstepping their authority, and for turning this meeting with the governor so antagonistic, she was grateful to him for understanding her situation with the Guild, which Governor Cresas either didn¡¯t understand, or was choosing to ignore. Sid was just trying to protect her. If he had mentioned that he would be taking this tack before they arrived at the Governor¡¯s palace, she would have tried to stop him¡ª but he hadn¡¯t.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid, Governor,¡± Sid said, his voice dry, ¡°that the Imperial Government¡¯s relationship with the Guild is worth more than the worries of a few border planets, who want to jealously guard their self-governance.¡± Sid cocked his head. ¡°First Sandreas might like to allow people the ¡®theater of freedom¡¯ as you might describe it, but I don¡¯t care to. In that respect, disdaining a symbolic theater, you and I are alike.¡±

    ¡°So, this trip is about establishing your personal style of authority. I misjudged you,¡± Cresas said.

    Sid just smiled.

    ¡°You¡¯ll forgive me for casting my lots in with the good money on Apprentice Mejia becoming First, then,¡± Cresas said. His voice was even dryer than Sid¡¯s had been.

    ¡°Will you negotiate with the Guild?¡± Yan asked, trying to get her voice to not sound quite so strangled.

    ¡°It remains to be seen what the Guild is going to demand,¡± Cresas said. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t happen to know, would you, Apprentice BarCarran?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I have no idea what authority or instructions Guildmaster Vaneik has given to Apprentice Olms.¡±

    ¡°Certainly she has less freedom authority than Apprentice Welslak thinks you two have.¡±

    ¡°You were the one who said we have our own authority, Governor,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what authority Guildmaster Vaneik gives to Apprentice Olms. I¡ª¡± Yan lost her train of thought completely as there was a knock on the door. She and Cresas looked towards it, but Sid took a moment longer to follow their gaze, reacting to their movements rather than the sound.

    ¡°Come in,¡± Cresas said.

    The heavy door swung open, and the butler came in. Swiftly following on his heels came Iri, though the butler let her in with reluctance.

    ¡°What is this?¡± Cresas asked, looking at the interruption.

    ¡°Ms. Maedes said that she urgently needed to speak with Apprentice BarCarran,¡± the butler said. ¡°She demanded to be allowed in.¡±

    Yan felt all the blood drain from her face. ¡°What is it, Iri?¡± she asked.

    ¡°The  Neutron Star  just jumped in,¡± Iri said. ¡°They have a shuttle on the way down.¡±

    ¡°And why does that require an interruption to my private dinner with Apprentice BarCarran and Apprentice Welslak?¡± Governor Cresas protested. But his protests didn¡¯t matter. Sid was already standing and abandoning his dinner.

    Yan glanced between him and Iri, lost. ¡°My¡ª¡± Yan began. She couldn¡¯t quite get the words out. The sudden terror of her uncle¡¯s disapproval was too much.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Iri said. ¡°He wants to see you as soon as he lands.¡±

    She almost asked if she had to¡ª if there was some way she could escape. But she knew that she couldn¡¯t refuse. She nodded.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for interrupting your dinner, Governor,¡± Iri said. ¡°I¡¯m sure that if you need to speak with Apprentice Welslak and Apprentice BarCarran later, that can be arranged.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Cresas said, ¡°I think we have already said everything that we would need to say to each other.¡±

 The Tenth Silver Drachma

    The Tenth Silver Drachma

    Soldiers were already scouring the tunnels for Kino, but there were relatively few outposts underground that they could be dispatched from. If Kino remained near the site of the collapsed tunnels, it might be easier to reach her by digging straight through the rubble, rather than taking a circuitous route around, but there was no way to know if she remained there. She could have been dragged away¡ª it seemed quite likely that this attack had been aimed at her specifically, or at Aymon¡¯s party generally, with Kino being the most vulnerable member.

    Aside from General Lang, there was one other sensitive working in the base, and he had been dispatched down to assist with clearing away the rubble and looking for Kino. When Aymon heard this, he had to work hard to stomp his anger down and keep his tone cool.

    ¡°He¡¯ll only find her with the power if she¡¯s dead,¡± Aymon said to Lang. Kino¡¯s peculiar near-invisibility was not written down in any of the precis that were provided to local security anywhere that Aymon was making an official visit, but Lang should have noticed it the moment she met Kino, and understood what it meant for the chances of finding her with the power.

    ¡°He¡¯ll be helpful when clearing the path,¡± was all Lang said.

    That may have been true, but it provided Aymon no comfort whatsoever. Not that there was anything that could calm him, save for Kino being returned to him safe and unharmed. Even Halen couldn¡¯t do much to stop Aymon¡¯s racing thoughts.

    He was tempted to demand to be allowed into the tunnels to search for his apprentice himself. But he suspected that this request would have been refused by General Lang, at the very least. She would have stopped him, regardless of what refusing him would cost her. She probably only barely restrained herself from suggesting that Aymon return to the  First Star  and wait for news of Kino in that safer position.

    Halen, too, would have objected to Aymon going down to search for Kino himself. He wondered how strong that objection would be, but he didn¡¯t test it.

    Halen stood at Aymon¡¯s side and gave instructions to the soldiers who came in and out of the headquarters where the ad hoc coordination of the search was being carried out. But Aymon knew that Halen¡¯s quiet, even voice was simply an excellent mask. Halen had been more attached to his apprentices than he was, Aymon thought.

    But that deflection, pushing the responsibility of care onto Halen, was not enough to stop Aymon from feeling a keen horror at the idea of Kino being dead. In the empty spaces between one messenger carrying in a report and the next, his thoughts turned back to his own apprenticeship.

    When Jalena, his fellow apprentice, had died, he had thought that his master, First Herrault, had been able to detach herself from it because she had not loved her apprentices in any way. Standing on that precipice, on the other side of that line, Aymon began to realize more completely how wrong he had been then. He and Herrault were too similar, in the ways that mattered.

    Thinking of the direct line between master and apprentice brought him back to Kino, with her quiet confidence. Hadn¡¯t he said to her just the other morning how they were alike? Even if she denied it, it was true. Aymon didn¡¯t want to let his confidence in Kino¡¯s ability to survive overwhelm the cautious part of his mind¡ª allowing hope to flourish would only make things worse¡ª but he couldn¡¯t help but clench his fingers into a fist, nails into his palm, and believe in his core that Kino was still alive, and would return to him, somehow, and soon.

    At some point, Halen began pacing the back of the room, even as Aymon sat in one of the hard plastic chairs with his fingers deliberately steepled on the table before him. It was a reversal from their usual patterns¡ª Halen was usually quite still and unobtrusive behind Aymon, while Aymon often filled up all the space in a room. But because this was so personal, it set Halen off balance. This made more of an impact on Aymon than anything else.

    Halen  was attached to the three apprentices. Aymon knew this. He had known and accepted that fact. But it was an abstract knowledge, something that meant very little when the furthest that attachment needed to extend was to teaching them self defense, or arranging their daily schedules, or any of the other tasks that Halen performed for them¡ª invisible and quiet and always in service of the apprenticeship itself, in service of Aymon. Even when he told Aymon how to treat the three, how to feel about them, that was for Aymon¡¯s sake, still. But there was evidence here that this attachment was stronger than duty, stronger than familiarity, and stronger than fondness¡ª it was love.

    In a distant corner of his mind, Aymon might have been jealous. But that was just recognition of another fact, more a thought than a feeling. Aymon glanced at Halen, wondering if he had noticed this cloud passing through Aymon¡¯s mental landscape, but he had no reaction to Aymon¡¯s thoughts whatsoever.

    Halen stalked back and forth across the rear of the room. As time stretched on, his voice¡¯s timbre changed from soft to gruff. While his expression remained as neutral as he could keep it, and he never spoke to the soldiers who delivered reports in anything like audible anger, they still went out of their way to avoid him, keeping a wide berth unless they needed to approach. It was like he was a bear in a cage, with bars that they weren¡¯t sure would hold if he decided to stop being placid and instead stretch out his claws.

    ¡°Halen,¡± Aymon said.

    Halen looked over at him, but did not walk forward and take the empty seat at the cluttered table. The soldiers in the room had not noticed, or were choosing to ignore, Aymon speaking up. In that way, like it sometimes did, it felt for a moment like they were alone in the universe as their eyes met.

    Halen waited for whatever he was about to say. Aymon discarded most of the things that he was tempted to utter¡ª the question of love to which the answer was already obvious, a request for an estimate of hope, and anything else. Halen surely already knew everything that Aymon could have said, and none of it mattered. The only thing that needed to be spoken was a command.

    ¡°Go find her,¡± Aymon said.

    Halen looked into his eyes for a moment more, maybe looking for confirmation that Aymon did want him to leave his side, then nodded once, sharply. His whole posture changed; whatever had been coiled tense inside him loosened as he strode out the door. Aymon closed his eyes as he left, and followed him in his mental view with the power, watching him gather a few members of the security team, walk down the hallway towards the nearest elevator shaft, and begin to descend until he fell too deeply into the darkness and vanished out of sight.

    <hr>

    Although it was late at night, Aymon did not sleep at all. The only news that made its way back up to him was of the slowly updating map on the wall which showed the tunnels that had been checked thoroughly for Kino, and for any signs that members of the Adversary had passed through that direction. But there was no real information carried in those reports aside from the slow advancement through the planet¡¯s labyrinth, a radius that widened in fits and starts, and only minutely each time.

    Halen did not have his own specific position marker on the map, but Aymon could imagine that it was at the very forefront of the push, winding his way forward with his trusted team drawn from Aymon¡¯s personal security.

    At around five in the morning, Aymon finally received something that was closer to news than anything he had yet had. It might have been a bad sign, but Halen was making a direct request for him to come down into the tunnel, immediately. Halen demanding his presence made it very difficult for General Lang to refuse to allow it, and so Aymon went, surrounded by heavy security.

    The area to which he had been summoned was ten kilometers from the place where the tunnels had collapsed.  To get there, Aymon¡¯s group went down to the deepest level of the tunnels: the largest, smoothest, oldest shafts that traversed long stretches of the planet. There, the tunnels were wide enough to allow for vehicles to move at a rapid clip through the dark red rock. They drove through the narrow aperture which had been cleared through the collapsed debris, wide enough just to fit one car, and formed hastily out of rocks shoved to the sides to form an archway. It was stable enough, Aymon decided, but it had been constructed only as a stopgap with the power.

    It was almost as hot as the surface at this depth, and even the rush of speed as they drove in open-top cars through the tunnels did little to cool him down.

    They took an elevator partway up to the level that Halen was waiting on, and then it was a further climb on foot, through a very narrow stairwell, packed shoulder to shoulder with his guard entourage. The area they were entering was not well trafficked, and Aymon wondered how Halen was even able to navigate some of it¡ª the walls were so narrow that he was feeling nearly trapped.

    At least in the area where Halen was waiting, the tunnel widened out marginally, enough for a few people to stand shoulder to shoulder, not quite so squeezed by the rock. Halen stood out among those already waiting, his hand pressed to the rough rock wall. His usual neat outfit was streaked with the grime of red dust, and it was in his hair and caked under his fingernails.

    There was no sign of Kino.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Come here,¡± Halen said. His voice was gravelly with tiredness, and when Aymon walked towards him, the soldiers parting to allow him through, Halen forewent all niceties and grabbed Aymon¡¯s hand, pushing it against the rock beneath his own.

    Do you feel that? Halen asked through the power. Even his mental voice sounded weary. But he pushed his power through the rock, forward and forward for maybe a hundred meters, pointing Aymon towards it as he went.

    There, there was a place where the texture of the rock, in the sensation of the power, was strangely different¡ª far denser than the surrounding area. And then there was a cavity within the rock, a chamber filled with air, and, in the center, curled up, was a small human figure.

    Aymon was so startled as his power touched the curled figure that he lost focus before he could find out if Kino was alive or dead. He couldn¡¯t even really tell if it was Kino, but there was no one else that it could reasonably be. At this distance, through the layers of rock, getting a sense of detail was difficult; there was just too much information that the power communicated in a great wave, and it was impossible to differentiate it quickly.

    ¡°Is she¡ª¡± he asked aloud.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Halen said. ¡°She hasn¡¯t moved in the time that I¡¯ve been here.¡± And she didn¡¯t feel like anything in the power¡ª not even the slippery sense that Aymon sometimes had of her, when she stood directly in front of him. All he could feel was the outline of her body, as much as he would feel a tree or a lump of clay.

    Halen had only discovered this room because it was designed by Kino to be noticed by someone looking with the power: it was so perfectly shaped, and different from the surrounding rock. Even if she was invisible, this certainly wasn¡¯t.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you open it?¡± Aymon asked, though he already knew the answer in his heart. If Kino was dead, he would take it out on Halen if Halen had to be the messenger. It was just the way he was.

    ¡°Will you help me?¡± Halen asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Aymon said.

    It had been a long time since he had last worked with Halen in the power for something important, or public. Aymon¡¯s personal security, well versed in the way that Halen operated, forced the regular base soldiers back, giving the two of them space. Aymon ignored this, and closed his eyes.

    Halen¡¯s hand was still pressed over his, forcing his palm to scrape flat against the rock wall. This gave a locus for Aymon¡¯s attention, the place where their skin met. It was easy to sink down into the power completely, to lose track of everything except his own mind and Halen¡¯s, incorporeal, and the rock there in front of them. They were so familiar with each other, like one person, it took no effort at all to link their minds.

    How had Kino sealed herself up inside the rock? She clearly had done it herself. The easiest method was to use heat and melt it, but Aymon couldn¡¯t do that without risking hurting her, and she likely hadn¡¯t done that either. She could have disposed of the heat by dumping it further down into the planet, but that would have been another layer of complications. The denser rock areas were glassy smooth, perfectly crystalline in their structure. She was elegant, if nothing else.

    Aymon didn¡¯t waste time on replicating Kino¡¯s trick, whatever it had been. Instead, he distantly heard Halen tell the soldiers to move further back, as Aymon used the power to carve rocks in slabs from the wall and move them bodily. It blocked up the tunnel further down, but he didn¡¯t care. Halen¡¯s power pressed around the roof of the tunnel, ensuring that Aymon wouldn¡¯t cave the ceiling in. He wouldn¡¯t, but it was easy enough for Halen to feel the changing stress and strain in the rock, and nudge Aymon¡¯s work to keep it balanced.

    The tunnel he constructed was wide enough for Halen, and, as soon as it was clear of debris, Halen walked through it. Aymon stayed connected to him through the power, but did not enter the tunnel himself; Halen kept him out, even though there was no danger.

    He moved slowly, tracing his hands along the tunnel walls. It was totally lightless, without even the moon-glow fungal life that decorated all the naturally formed tunnels on Tyx. Through Halen¡¯s hands, Aymon could feel the place where the texture of the rock in the carved channel changed to Kino¡¯s glassy smooth and diamond-hard protective crystal. If there had been light, it would have glittered black in the cave. Halen didn¡¯t need to see; with the power he could gain a complete awareness of every inch of the chamber.

    As Halen¡¯s power passed over Kino, Aymon leaned heavily on the wall in visceral relief¡ª she was alive. Her breath stirred the air, slight and invisible but present, and her heart beat slowly in her chest.

    Halen entered Kino¡¯s chamber and crouched down at her side. She was curled up, trying to hold her right arm to her chest. When Halen touched her forehead, brushing her hair away from her face, he felt sweat or blood damp on her skin.

    On the ground before her was an open candy tin, with a few pills laying in the bottom¡ª ten all together, but split up into deliberate groups of two whole pills and one half. She had divided out her dosage there in advance before she took any. Aymon thought she must have taken whatever she considered to be just under a lethal dose, as she was completely insensate as Halen touched her face and murmured a few incoherent words in a first attempt to rouse her.

    Halen made sure that moving her would not hurt her further, and then sat down so that he could hold her in his lap. He dwarfed her completely. As Halen¡¯s power moved through Kino¡¯s body, Aymon¡ª though his connection to Halen¡ª could see its mental map. Her right arm was broken in several places from collarbone to elbow, presumably from having been pinned under a falling rock.

    It was a gruesome injury, and it was made no better by the flicker of thoughts that crossed Halen¡¯s mind: an involuntary knowledge of how similar wounds felt to receive; how to manipulate the broken bones; and how this would all look under a clinical, exact light, with Kino stretched out on a table before him, rather than cradled gently on his lap.

    Aymon watched these thoughts coldly, though he could feel Halen¡¯s emotions passing underneath him, too deep and dark to peer fully into. Halen let the knowledge rise to the surface of his mind because it was necessary. Even if he had first learned how to stitch bones back together for the purpose of breaking them again, he still knew the method. And that was all that mattered for Kino at this moment.

    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    Aymon would have preferred to take this task upon himself rather than have Halen do it, because Halen was tired, more than he was, but Halen brushed that suggestion away like a bothersome fly and got to work. It took a long time, mending he bones in Kino¡¯s arm together, knitting the torn muscles back. Even with Halen¡¯s help, it would take Kino a while for her body to heal, and her arm would be a useless bruised lump for some time. But she would at least be whole, and in less pain.

    That thought echoed between Aymon and Halen with a bleak kind of amusement: for once, Halen did not feel anything from the body before him. Kino was so drugged with vena that she would not wake for anything, and even if she had been awake, her invisibility would have protected Halen from every sensation and feeling.

    Once Halen was done mending her arm, he picked up the tin of vena and stuffed it in his pocket. Then he very carefully moved his power through her body one last time, like he was searching Aymon¡¯s food for poisons, and broke apart the vena molecules into their harmless constituent atoms. Those that had already acted on Kino¡¯s brain he couldn¡¯t touch, not without being more invasive than he wanted to be, so it would still take some time for her to wake. But she would wake.

    Halen stood in one smooth motion, carrying her limp body in his arms, and maneuvered his way out of the cave. As he entered the light and blinked, he let his connection with Aymon fall away, and they were back in their own minds, without the dizzy sensation of looking at themselves through each other¡¯s eyes. There was a time and place for that, but it wasn¡¯t here.

    Aymon looked at Kino in Halen¡¯s arms. She was covered in a mixture of dirt, sweat, and blood. Her hair, which was usually tucked into two long and neat braids, fell in a wild black tangle around her head. Her face had lost some of the tension that it often held when she was awake, but otherwise remained expressionless. Her uninjured arm was dangling down from her body as Halen carried her, and when Aymon picked it up to drape it across her chest, he noticed that she had bitten her hand enough to draw blood¡ª neat little puncture marks from her canines were embedded in the flesh between her thumb and index finger, accompanied by a blossoming bruise.

    ¡°How long until she wakes up?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Long enough to get to the  First Star ,¡± Halen said.

    <hr>

    Kino began to rouse on the way back to the surface, turning and shifting in Halen¡¯s arms as they rode in cars through the long, deep tunnels. She was incoherent, half-formed words falling out of her mouth, and Halen seemed surprised for some reason; his brow furrowing as Kino struggled to move.

    ¡°It¡¯s alright, Kino,¡± he said, and smoothed her hair down off her face. Aymon watched his hand¡ª it was strange to see Halen¡¯s gentlest touch from a different angle. ¡°You¡¯re safe.¡±

    Kino¡¯s face twitched in an unreadable expression, but she stilled and stiffened, until tiredness or the soothing feeling of Halen¡¯s hand on her forehead overcame her, and she slumped back down into sleep.

    Aymon said nothing until he was sure she was completely unconscious. ¡°What was that about?¡± he asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s a brave girl,¡± Halen said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the vena tin, passing it to Aymon. ¡°Withdrawal is not going to be pleasant.¡±

    Aymon looked at the pills inside, then put it in his own pocket. ¡°Better now than later.¡±

    Halen looked at him sidelong. ¡°I have a theory.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°She wasn¡¯t taking those for the pain,¡± he said.

    Aymon raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never felt fear like that from her before just now,¡± Halen said. ¡°I think she was trying to mute the power to help us find her.¡±

    ¡°It didn¡¯t work.¡±

    ¡°It would if she could have taken that amount of vena and remained conscious,¡± Halen said. ¡°But I expect that¡¯s impossible. She has a tolerance, but not that much.¡±

    Aymon made a noise that wasn¡¯t exactly assent. ¡°She¡¯s been addicted to all of this long enough that she should know better.¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡± Halen looked down at her. ¡°But she wouldn¡¯t have any reason to know how her power works when she¡¯s sleeping. The unconscious mind moves in strange ways, and gets overpowered by the conscious one. But that¡¯s what vena disrupts.¡± He trailed off into murmurs, which was unlike him.

    Aymon¡¯s mouth pinched. ¡°And does yours work while you¡¯re sleeping?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Halen said. ¡°I can always feel your dreams in mine.¡±

    Aymon looked away. They were coming to the elevator shaft to the surface now, the cars pulling to a stop.

    <hr>

    Aymon didn¡¯t spare much time to speak with General Lang, as most of their business on Tyx had been concluded already. She wasn¡¯t the type to make token statements reassuring him of her dedication, or the way base safety would be improved going forward.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad she¡¯s safe,¡± was all Lang said, and then they made their goodbyes. If she felt personal relief that Kino hadn¡¯t died under her watch, she didn¡¯t show it. Aymon wondered, idly, as he shook her hand, what he would have done if Kino had died.

    Back on the  First Star , Kino was left in her bedroom. She would wake fully soon enough, though Aymon would likely not speak with her until he, too, had slept. He could use the power to sustain himself for long periods of alertness if he had to, and had been drawing on that reserve all night, but he was feeling his age now.

    Even more than his private rooms in Stonecourt, the  First Star  felt like Aymon¡¯s private kingdom. All of her crew knew him and his habits, and there were no prying eyes to disturb him. Once they jumped away from Tyx, into interstellar space, there would be no communication with the outside world. The ship was a self-contained universe, and Aymon embraced the brief period of respite as he settled back into his chambers.

    He sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for Halen, who came in after a while, having showered and changed in his own personal quarters on board the ship. He sat down beside Aymon without speaking, and brushed his hand across Aymon¡¯s bare back, nothing in the touch but touch itself.

    ¡°Kino is still asleep?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯ll stay that way for another few hours,¡± Halen said. ¡°I made sure of it.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s only a few days to Olar,¡± Halen said. ¡°For her sake, I almost wish it was longer.¡±

    Aymon made a noise of acknowledgement. ¡°Unfortunately, I have my duties, and two other apprentices who I¡¯ve been told need me. She can stay on the ship while I go down to Olar, if she needs to.¡±

    Halen nodded.

    ¡°How sick will she be, and how long will it take for her to recover?¡±

    ¡°Very, for the first tenday.¡± He rubbed Aymon¡¯s back. ¡°After that, to completely be free of it, I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t think I should just let her stay on it, then, do you?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Halen said. ¡°She¡¯s known that this couldn¡¯t continue. I think this proves it well enough.¡±

    ¡°What does she take it for, anyway?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d have to ask her.¡±

    ¡°Is this going to cause more problems than it solves, is what I¡¯m trying to ask.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure,¡± Halen said. ¡°But the other ones can¡¯t be solved until this one is, so it¡¯s a place to start, if nothing else.¡±

    Aymon closed his eyes. ¡°Why did I have to pick apprentices with so many problems?¡±

    Halen laughed aloud, and his genuine amusement at Aymon¡¯s frustration made Aymon crack his eyes back open.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me I should be more grateful that they¡¯re all still alive,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I am.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re tired,¡± Halen pointed out. ¡°And you will feel less annoyed at Kino once you¡¯ve spoken to her.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not annoyed.¡±

    Halen smiled.

    ¡°Regardless¡ª¡± Aymon cut himself off and took a breath. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I am supposed to do with them,¡± he said.

    ¡°Are you asking for my advice?¡±

    ¡°Do you have any?¡±

    ¡°None that I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t already know,¡± Halen said. ¡°Kino won¡¯t take whatever you say to her the wrong way¡ª she¡¯s not that type. But Yan might, and Sid will deliberately.¡±

    ¡°Comforting.¡±

    ¡°Have patience with them.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡± He changed position and laid down on the bed, so that he could look at Halen more easily. ¡°I¡¯ll try to. I¡¯m afraid that whatever I was supposed to remember from my own apprenticeship that would make me compassionate, I¡¯ve probably forgotten.¡±

    ¡°Yours was nothing like theirs.¡±

    ¡°Do the three of them even  like  each other?¡± Aymon asked suddenly, rolling onto his side.

    This, too, made Halen laugh. ¡°Yan and Sid do, at the very least.¡±

    The relief of being back on board the  First Star , with Kino safe and sound for the moment, had put Halen in a very good mood, unusually so. He was smiling at Aymon, despite the tiredness in his movements as he shrugged off his jacket and pulled his socks from his feet. This kind of cheer was strange to see on Halen¡¯s face¡ª his joys were usually so contained, no matter how strongly they were felt. Aymon stared at Halen, watching him. Halen didn¡¯t alter his pace in peeling off his day clothes in any way, but he met Aymon¡¯s eye, still smiling.

    ¡°I¡¯m jealous, you know,¡± Aymon said.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°You should ask me of what.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve always known you to be a jealous man,¡± Halen said. ¡°I don¡¯t think the specifics have ever mattered much.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡±

    Halen finished undressing, and laid down in bed beside Aymon. The lights in the room were dim and warm, mainly the table lamps at the bedside. Aymon could have turned them out with a thought, and he would momentarily, but he was enjoying looking at Halen¡¯s smile, which remained even as he teased Aymon.

    ¡°It¡¯s easy for you to love them,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I¡¯m jealous of that. It¡¯s not easy for me.¡±

    Halen was silent for a moment, and he touched Aymon¡¯s jaw with one finger, delicately tracing towards his chin. ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± he said.

    ¡°No?¡±

    Halen¡¯s finger kept trailing along his skin, feather-light despite its weight. He said nothing. Aymon closed his eyes. He heard the lights in the room click off, and the distant red glow behind his eyelids faded into darkness.

    ¡°I know your heart better than you do, Aymon.¡±

    ¡°What is it about them that makes you love them?¡±

    ¡°They remind me of you.¡±

    Now it was Aymon¡¯s turn to laugh. ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me.¡±

    He could still hear the smile in Halen¡¯s voice. ¡°They¡¯re yours. How could they not remind me of you?¡±

    ¡°I could snag a pigeon from the street and you¡¯d love it because it was my pet, then?¡±

    ¡°I might.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not so free with my affections.¡±

    ¡°With admitting them, no.¡± Halen paused, but was sure to continue, so Aymon gave him time. ¡°You would have torn apart the planet for Kino today, if it would have done you any good. And when we get to Olar, and back home to Emerri, you won¡¯t let the other two leave your sight for months.¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Aymon asked. Halen had always had the upper hand in this conversation. ¡°You act like I¡¯m soft rather than practical. It wouldn¡¯t make sense for me to send them out again. Not for a while, at least. And I don¡¯t have anything urgent¡ª the next travel I have planned is for the colony consecration¡ª¡± He yawned, and Halen took the opportunity to cut in.

    ¡°You could stand to be softer.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s easy for you.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± Halen asked. This time, the smile fell out out of his voice. Aymon remembered the vivid picture Halen had in his mind, while healing Kino¡¯s broken arm.

    ¡°You make it look easy.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m happy it doesn¡¯t look like I¡¯m restraining myself from hurting them.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I could.¡± Halen¡¯s hand was flat on Aymon¡¯s neck now, heavy and still. His fingers twined through the hair at the nape of his neck. With even the tiniest amount of pressure, Halen could cut off Aymon¡¯s air. Or, with a single thought in the power, could do any number of things.

    ¡°I doubt they¡¯re as delicate as you think. You know your own strength too well.¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Halen said. When Aymon put his own hand atop Halen¡¯s on his throat, Halen shifted, bringing them closer still. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me that I¡¯m no danger to them because I¡¯m not to you.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to say anything.¡± He was tempted to test the moment, to press Halen¡¯s hand against his throat tightly, but he rejected the idea. That was a game for a different time; he was too tired tonight, and Halen was as well. Surely Halen felt these curious stirrings moving in the undertow between them, but he didn¡¯t move. ¡°It¡¯s comforting to know that I¡¯m not the only one who doesn¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing with them.¡±

    ¡°See,¡± Halen said. ¡°You do love them.¡±

    ¡°Love isn¡¯t just the fear that you¡¯ll do something wrong,¡± Aymon pointed out.

    <hr>

    Aymon found Kino about nine hours later. Since they were on the  First Star , and the situation was somewhat abnormal, he went to her bedroom rather than summoning her to his office or some other room of the ship. Perhaps there were some cases where it was worthwhile to be informal. When he knocked on her door, it slid open under the touch of her power.

    Kino was sitting on her bed with her knees hunched up to her chest, drawn and sweating. She was only wearing her undershirt and pants, the rest of her clothing and bedding having been discarded in a messy pile on the floor. This state of undress revealed the extent of injury to her arm¡ª it was, as Aymon had known it would be, a purple mass of bruises and scrapes that stretched from under her armpit and shirt all the way down to her wrist. Even her uninjured arm was marked¡ª she had been scratching at it incessantly, leaving raw red skin on the soft underside of her forearm. For all that she was the picture of misery, she stared at Aymon with her cold black eyes as he took a seat in the desk chair. And her hair was back in its usual braids, at least, which lent a sense of composure.

    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± Aymon asked, once he had settled himself, and it became clear that Kino was not going to say anything to begin the conversation.

    ¡°Fine,¡± she said. Her voice was flat, but she pulled her knees more tightly to her chest.

    ¡°I¡¯m told the withdrawal from vena is rather unpleasant.¡±

    She shrugged and said nothing.

    ¡°I¡¯d like to ask what happened on Tyx.¡±

    ¡°Nothing happened.¡±

    ¡°Nothing happened?¡± He looked pointedly at her arm. ¡°You were gone for hours, separated from your team, and you were seriously injured. I wouldn¡¯t call that nothing. Tell me about it.¡±

    ¡°I thought it was an earthquake,¡± Kino said. ¡°I saw the rocks falling, and I pushed everyone out of the way.¡± She looked away from him, up towards the ceiling. ¡°Halen told me that everyone survived.¡±

    ¡°But you didn¡¯t think to hold the rocks back or save yourself.¡±

    She shrugged again.

    Aymon reached into his pocket and pulled out Kino¡¯s tin of vena. He held it up. Her eyes followed it, like he was dangling food in front of a starving man. ¡°Had you already taken some, by the time the ¡®earthquake¡¯ happened?¡±

    She hesitated, then leaned forward suddenly. Aymon pulled his hand back, thinking she was about to snatch the tin from him, but instead she ended up hanging off the side of the bed, coughing bile into a bowl that had been left for that purpose. When she finished and straightened back up, her eyes glassy and the sweat standing out on her brow even further, Aymon tried to hand her the water bottle on her desk. She shook her head.

    He gave her a second more to recover, but when she said nothing, he said, ¡°I¡¯ll ask again: had you already taken vena when the attack happened?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± she said. ¡°Some.¡±

    ¡°More than usual?¡±

    ¡°I would usually take it at night,¡± she said. ¡°To sleep. I just took it at a different time.¡± It was unnecessary for her to add that if she took none, withdrawal symptoms would set in sooner, rather than later. Halen clearing the not-yet-absorbed drug from her body had hastened the process along, but she was chemically dependent on it, and it would probably only take about a day or so of abstinence for her to start to feel the effects under normal circumstances.

    ¡°Why did you change your pattern?¡±

    She stared at him and said nothing. He remembered that she hadn¡¯t slept at all, during the first night they had been on the planet. She must have been saving her dose to take during the day then, too. He wondered why, but she didn¡¯t seem likely to volunteer the information.

    ¡°Well, it obviously impaired your judgment. You could have been killed.¡±

    ¡°Nothing happened,¡± she reiterated. ¡°After I got out of the rocks, I just tried to find my way back up.¡±

    ¡°And then you decided not to go any further, and just wait for us to find you.¡±

    ¡°I knew you would find me.¡±

    ¡°Halen was the one who did.¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°I think you¡¯re very lucky that nothing worse happened,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I¡¯m very surprised that you didn¡¯t encounter any of the Adversary.¡±

    She closed her eyes. ¡°They wouldn¡¯t have been able to follow me, even if they had been trying.¡±

    ¡°That, I know very well.¡±

    ¡°Then you didn¡¯t have to worry about me. Halen said that you did.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re my apprentice,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you hurt or killed. I would hope that¡¯s clear to you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not any different than anybody else,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t need you to care.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s something I would expect Sid to say, not you.¡±

    She was quiet for a moment. ¡°There once were millions of people on that planet,¡± she said. ¡°I had to do something to stop thinking about that. My life isn¡¯t worth more than theirs.¡± She looked straight ahead. ¡°That¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°In this job you can¡¯t have the luxury of looking away.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t looking away,¡± she said. ¡°I asked to go to the front and I knew what would be there. I just was trying not to make it¡­ so much.¡± Her fingernails dug into her arm, leaving white circles around her fingertips where she had pushed the blood out of the top layer of her skin, and surely heavy nail indentations beneath that which Aymon couldn¡¯t see.

    ¡°I appreciate your honesty, if nothing else.¡±

    ¡°Will you punish me?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Aymon said. ¡°There¡¯s no need. Most of your choices were rational. This¡± ¡ªand he gestured vaguely at her shivering form¡ª ¡°is more than enough. And I should have done my duty as your teacher and put a stop to it sooner.¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°May I ask you a question?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Why did you first begin taking vena?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t vena first,¡± she said. ¡°It was other things.¡± She stared off into the distance, somewhere above Aymon¡¯s head. ¡°I used to not be able to sleep, at the Academy, so I would go walk through the city. I would take the same route, most nights. Habit.¡±

    ¡°How old were you?¡±

    ¡°Fourteen. I would have done it before, but the Academy locked the children¡¯s dorms at night, and I hadn¡¯t figured out how to get out easily.¡± She cocked her head. ¡°You know the Academy is like that.¡±

    ¡°Someone should have taught you to meditate at night.¡±

    She laughed, and it was a very strange sound. A sound that a person made to disguise a crack in their throat.

    ¡°You were fourteen, and you were wandering,¡± Aymon said, urging her to continue.

    ¡°I met Mahmoud. He worked at a bakery, so he was always up at night, and would come out to smoke when I walked by.¡±

    ¡°And you spoke to him?¡±

    ¡°He was worried about me.¡±

    ¡°And this worry led to him offering you drugs.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°After a while.¡± Aymon raised an eyebrow, but Kino seemed unaffected by the story. She continued. ¡°He said that since I was walking all over the place anyway, I could earn some money by delivring packages for him. So I did. He paid me well.¡±

    ¡°And you worked for him until you graduated.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± She tilted her head, reacting to the skepticism that was clear in Aymon¡¯s voice. ¡°He was my friend.¡±

    ¡°It strains the imagination.¡±

    ¡°He was kind to me.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡±

    ¡°I never did anything I didn¡¯t want to do,¡± she said. ¡°The vena helped.¡±

    ¡°I will confess that I don¡¯t understand the appeal,¡± he said. ¡°At least not on a regular basis.¡±

    She shrugged again. Her eyes found the tin that was still in his left hand. Aymon¡¯s smile was grim. ¡°It helps,¡± she said.

    He slipped the tin back into his pocket. She bit her lip. ¡°If there is anything¡ª other than this¡ª that I can do that will help, tell me,¡± he said.

    ¡°There isn¡¯t,¡± she said. ¡°Nothing that you can do.¡±

    ¡°Very well.¡± He looked at her, and she pulled her knees back up to her chest again, curled up on herself. ¡°I do care about you, Kino, very deeply. I want you to understand that.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m very grateful that nothing worse happened to you on Tyx, and I will take care to make sure nothing like it happens again, if it is within my power to prevent it.¡±

    She was silent, and shook her head. Aymon had no idea what she meant by that, so he was forced to carry on.

    ¡°We¡¯ll be at Olar soon, to meet back up with Yan and Sid. You don¡¯t have to come down to the planet if you don¡¯t want to.¡±

    She nodded.

    He looked at her for a moment more, then stood. He touched her head, a benediction of sorts, and she stiffened beneath the touch. ¡°God led you to me,¡± he said. ¡°And I¡¯m glad God hasn¡¯t taken you away from me, yet.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said. She looked up into his face¡ª her expression was suddenly strange and wide-eyed. ¡°God did bring me here. That¡¯s true.¡±

    Aymon smiled. ¡°Come join me for dinner later, if you¡¯re feeling better.¡±

 The Good Captain

    The Good Captain

    Someone had at least gotten Yan¡¯s uncle Maxes to agree to meet her in a somewhat familiar territory¡ª the hotel where Yan was staying. As Yan and Sid, along with the rest of their entourage, left the governor¡¯s palace, Iri gave Yan an explanation as to her uncle¡¯s early arrival. The remainder of the party from the  Neutron Star  , including Apprentice Olms, wasn¡¯t going to arrive planetside until the morning¡ª they were taking the elevator down, as had been the original plan per the timeline that Iri had received. This was a trip that would take some time. Yan¡¯s uncle had¡ª presumably¡ª paid an exorbitant fee to loan one of the  Neutron Star  ¡¯s shuttles, and land it in City One, after they jumped into the system and learned of what had happened on board the  Sky Boat .

    Maxes had just landed, and he would be coming to the hotel as soon as he could clear landing registration and get a taxi to take him there.

    Through the limo ride, Yan felt dizzy and nauseous, pressing her forehead to the cool glass of the windows to try to stave some of it off. It didn¡¯t help. She probably should have been upset with Sid for his power play with the governor, but all she could think about was her uncle, and what he was going to say to her.

    When they arrived at the hotel, Iri took charge, ushering Yan not up to her suite, but into the empty guest lounge on the first floor. Yan let herself be pushed around like a doll, and she sat down on one of the plush couches between the fire and the huge windows overlooking the street. It was well and truly dark outside now, and neither the stars nor the huge Olar moon were visible, both obscured by thick clouds which had just begun to deposit a fresh layer of tiny snowflakes all over everything. The flakes were illuminated by the headlights of cars that drove by, and the light that shone out through the hotel¡¯s windows.

    ¡°Do you want me to stay, or do you want your privacy when your uncle arrives?¡± Iri asked Yan. She had kicked Sid out of the lounge earlier, so he was nowhere to be seen.

    Although when Yan looked into Iri¡¯s face, she did want her company, she knew it would be better to meet her uncle alone. It would be better if he said whatever he had to say without moderating his tone for an observer.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Yan said. ¡°You don¡¯t need to stay.¡±

    One of the cars outside came to a skidding stop in front of the building.

    ¡°That must be him,¡± Iri said. She looked down at the ground and watched as a tall man unfolded himself out of the taxi. He was not dressed for the weather at all, wearing a spacer¡¯s utilitarian jumpsuit rather than a winter coat, and he rubbed his hands together and took a moment to get his footing on the slippery concrete before grabbing his single bag of luggage and striding up to the hotel. The scene was silent from so far away, but Yan could hear in her imagination the sound that her uncle¡¯s beaded braids made when he walked with purpose¡ª harsh clacking with each bounce of his feet and shake of his head.

    ¡°I¡¯d better meet him in the lobby,¡± Iri said. She looked at Yan for a second longer, opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it, striding away.

    Yan sat on the couch and waited, gripping her knees so tightly she wondered if her fingers could break from the force.

    The door opened; her uncle came in; Iri shut the door behind him, leaving him alone with Yan.

    Yan stood from her seat, nearly tripping over her own feet to do so. She couldn¡¯t quite meet her uncle¡¯s eyes, and there was a pained moment of silence as he looked at her across the room.

    Then he strode towards her, clearing the distance of the room as though gravity was only half of what it was, and wrapped his arms around her. Yan didn¡¯t know what to do, and stood stiff as a board under the embrace, her uncle¡¯s wiry arms clutching her back. She had prepared herself for this meeting by trying to go numb, and even when she shouldn¡¯t have needed it, it was this feeling that she ended up holding on to.

    ¡°Yan, oh my God, Yan,¡± he said. He brushed his hands up and down her arms, checking that she was all there, and then his hands ended up at either side of her face, forcing her to look up into his eyes¡ª he was taller than she was by a hand''s breadth.

    There was concern in his eyes, and Yan wanted to slide away from it and escape, but he was holding her steady, trying to glean something from her expression, wide eyed and empty.

    ¡°Thank God you¡¯re alright,¡± he said.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Yan managed to say.

    ¡°I heard what happened,¡± he said, and finally dropped his hands from her face. She nodded. Her stiffness seemed to allow him to take stock of his surroundings, and he sat down on the nearest couch. Yan took the seat across from him. ¡°When I heard it, and you hadn¡¯t written to me, I¡ª¡± He broke off and looked at her.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I should have written.¡±

    ¡°I thought something terrible had happened. To you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said again.

    Something in his posture changed when he heard her tone. ¡°I assumed that the letter that Apprentice Olms received was pure slander,¡± he said. ¡°She thought so, too, which was why she allowed me to come here to find out what was going on.¡±

    There was a moment of silence between them. Yan didn¡¯t know what to say.

    ¡°Tell me it¡¯s slander, Yan,¡± Maxes said. His voice was soft. ¡°Some sort of political scheme¡ª¡±

    She shook her head, looking down at her hands. She was twisting the fabric of her cassock over her knees.

    Maxes¡¯s voice was still soft¡ª even his disappointment or incredulity hadn¡¯t shaken that from him yet¡ª but he had to confirm. ¡°You left the  Sky Boat  when she was under attack?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Yan said. She stomped down all her excuses. It didn¡¯t really matter that the lieutenant in charge of their expedition had ordered her into the shuttle¡ª Sid¡¯s later mutiny proved that she could have disobeyed him if she wanted to. But she hadn¡¯t wanted to. She had run away. She stared at a point above his left shoulder, seeing how the gold beads in his hair caught the light from the fireplace behind him. He waited for her to say something else, so she finally forced herself to. ¡°And by the time I came back, the  Sky Boat ¡¯s dogfighters were already¡­¡±

    She pictured the wreckage, the blue livery of the small ships torn apart and strewn across the area.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t come back until¡ª¡± She had trouble phrasing it correctly. ¡°If I thought that they would have been able to drive the pirates away themselves, I probably wouldn¡¯t have gone back until it was over. I waited until they had already had lost so many.¡±

    Maxes kept looking at her. ¡°That is what the letter said.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s true. Captain Migollen wouldn¡¯t lie.¡±

    ¡°Why did you go back?¡± he asked.

    She looked up at him. ¡°I¡ª I had to.¡± And then she looked away. ¡°But that wasn¡¯t mutual defense. It was just¡­¡± She splayed her hands. ¡°Too late.¡±

    ¡°Were you ordered to return?¡± he asked.

    ¡°No,¡± she said. ¡°Maybe that¡¯s worse. I don¡¯t know. Sid and I¡ª I made Sid threaten to steal the shuttle we were in. Mutiny¡ª¡± She looked away. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°But you did go back,¡± he said. ¡°Of your own accord. And you helped the  Sky Boat . Even Captain Migollen couldn¡¯t deny that, no matter how angry she is, and how she tries to spin the story.¡±

    ¡°It was too late for their dogfighters. She¡¯s right to be angry about that.¡± Her eyes kept finding new things to focus on that weren¡¯t her uncle¡¯s face: the frosted glass lamps with their warm bulbs hanging down from the ceiling, the incongruously tropical plant in the corner, the scuffed place in the rug that showed exactly how traffic passed through this room. She tried to keep her voice steady. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said. ¡°My behavior disgraced the  Iron Dreams .¡±

    Her uncle was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was cool, making an observation only. The softness had gone out of it. ¡°You¡¯re less charitable to yourself than Captain Migollen was to you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just telling you what happened. I don¡¯t want to lie. You deserve the truth from me.¡±

    ¡°I would expect you at least to take credit for what you did do. You did aid the  Sky Boat  . Captain Migollen didn¡¯t mention how many pirates you dealt with, but if they were able to destroy that many of the  Sky Boat ¡¯s own dogfighters, it couldn¡¯t have been¡ª¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to,¡± she said. Her voice broke, and she felt the rush of tears almost overwhelm her. If she had spoken a single other word, she would have burst into ugly sobs. Instead, she blinked as hard as she could, and swallowed the knot in her throat until it receded.

    ¡°But you did,¡± he said. ¡°Captain Migollen was upset about her crew, but you did help the ship. It must be political, the way Migollen is reacting¡ª she must be trying to discredit you in the Guild for whatever reason. I don¡¯t know.¡±

    Yan shrugged, miserable. Laying claim to killing the pirates felt just as bad as the knowledge that she had abandoned ship when the  Sky Boat  needed her, but she wouldn¡¯t be able to explain that to her uncle. ¡°You don¡¯t have to defend me,¡± Yan said. ¡°I know you want to, for the sake of the  Dreams ¡¯ status, but it would be easier to just¡­¡±

    ¡°Just what, Yan?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I won¡¯t be helpful politically for the ship, after this. It might be better to distance yourself from me.¡± In the part of herself that observed herself, watching from above, she thought she was remarkably calm.

    ¡°Do you really think that is something that I would want to do, or even be able to do?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t defend me to Apprentice Olms,¡± Yan said. ¡°And I¡¯ll stay away from anything that has to do with the Guild for a while. First Sandreas would let me do that. And aside from our meeting with Apprentice Olms, I can stay away during this trip as much as possible.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask to come to Olar because of Guild politics, Yan,¡± Maxes said. His voice was very strained, too. ¡°I came because I wanted to see you. You don¡¯t need to run away to avoid being seen with me, or whatever this is.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°Please stop apologizing,¡± Maxes said. He ran his hand over his face, into his mass of braids down at his shoulders, and Yan could see how tired he was. The  Neutron Star ¡¯s typical shifts must have been out of synch with Olar¡¯s day, which was presumably why the rest of the Guild delegation was giving themselves the long elevator ride down to the planet¡¯s surface, to adjust.

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°I wanted to make sure you were doing well in your apprenticeship.¡± He frowned. ¡°The  Dreams  doesn¡¯t have any reason to care about Olar, or even reason to curry favor with Apprentice Olms. This was¡ª¡± He tried to smile at her, but it fell rather flat and empty. ¡°I wanted to see you succeed.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡ª¡± She had just agreed not to apologize again.

    Maxes sighed. ¡°I hate seeing you like this.¡±

    She looked away. ¡°Governor Cresas will agree to anything the Guild asks. Your delegation should have an easy time. We already convinced him that he has to agree. Apprentice Olms probably won¡¯t even need to speak to Sid and I except as a formality, to make sure we agree with whatever the terms are that the Guild works out. You can tell Apprentice Olms that, so she knows she can demand whatever she needs.¡± She tried to smile, too. ¡°At least you¡¯ll be able to see that our efforts here were a success.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t what I meant.¡±

    Yan wanted to apologize again, but she bit her tongue. There was nothing she wanted more in that moment than to escape, but she was trapped here with her uncle.

    ¡°I wish there was something I could do to help you,¡± Maxes said. ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong, but you¡¯re miserable. I can¡¯t figure it out¡ª if it¡¯s the  Sky Boat  , I promise that doesn¡¯t really matter. Not to me, and not to anyone else on the  Dreams . But if it¡¯s your apprenticeship¡ª what is the matter, Yan?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s nothing¡ª there¡¯s nothing you can do about it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t believe that,¡± he said. ¡°If there wasn¡¯t something that I and the Dreams  had to do with it, you wouldn¡¯t be in such a hurry to cut us out.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to protect you. You don¡¯t need to worry about me. I¡¯ll be okay.¡±

    ¡°I do need to worry about you.¡±

    Yan shook her head.

    ¡°You¡¯re my girl,¡± Maxes said. ¡°I want the best for you. And whatever is happening here¡ª¡± She could see the tension in his wiry frame. ¡°I love you, Yan.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± she said.

    He took a second to gather his resolve before speaking, but when he did, his voice was firm. ¡°When this is over, come back home with me to the  Dreams .¡±

    Yan froze completely. She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn¡¯t find the words.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care about your apprenticeship¡ª I don¡¯t care about the rest of the Guild. If you¡¯re this miserable being here, I want you to come home.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± Yan said.

    Maxes looked at her, and she at least tried to let him, trying not to flinch away. His shoulders dropped, and he leaned back in his seat. ¡°I wish you would.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°Can I ask why you won¡¯t?¡±

    It would have been very easy to lie, to say something about her apprenticeship and not wanting to leave First Sandreas. But her uncle did deserve the truth. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m much of a spacer anymore,¡± Yan said. It was a relief to admit it.

    Her uncle frowned. ¡°Who told you that?¡±

    ¡°Nobody.¡±

    ¡°Yan¡ª¡±

    She looked back up at him.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what you call yourself,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯re always going to be my sister¡¯s daughter. And you¡¯re always going to be the girl I raised. And you will¡ª listen to me¡ª you will always have a home on the  Iron Dreams .¡±

    Yan rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°But you won¡¯t come back with me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    He smiled, but it was a sad smile, one that reached the wrinkles around his eyes, but only slowly, with his eyebrows drawn together. ¡°I understand,¡± he said. ¡°I probably shouldn¡¯t put you in the position of asking you to ruin your career.¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡±

    ¡°Let it be that, Yan.¡± He stood. ¡°I¡¯m sure that I¡¯ll see you again before the  Neutron Star  leaves Olar.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± She almost had told him that he didn¡¯t have to, but she stopped herself. She stood. Her uncle held his hand out, offering it to her only to shake, but Yan instead did hug him, pressing her face to his shoulder momentarily, smelling his sandalwood soap under the familiar scrubbed-air smell that his jumpsuit hadn¡¯t lost yet in Olar¡¯s atmosphere. His embrace was warm and gentle this time, not the frantic rush it had been before.

    ¡°I know you¡¯ll do well wherever you go, Yanny-girl,¡± he said. ¡°But if you do change your mind, you know where to come, alright? I just want you to be happy.¡±

    Yan nodded into his shoulder. He rubbed her back, and then she straightened and pulled away.

    After her uncle left, Yan sat back down on the couch, completely exhausted. She saw Iri come in and sit down at one of the high bar tables near the window, set up her computer and start typing something. Iri¡¯s presence was clearly an offer of companionship, but not a pushy one.

    ¡°Did you hear all of that conversation?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s not really my job to spy on you,¡± Iri said.

    ¡°I thought it was.¡±

    ¡°No, and I didn¡¯t hear. Did it go well?¡±

    Yan shrugged. ¡°He asked me to leave my apprenticeship.¡±

    ¡°Since you¡¯re still here, I assume you said no.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Yan was silent for a second. ¡°But I do want to go home.¡±

    ¡°We will be, sooner than you think, probably. The  First Star  won¡¯t take that long to get here. And then it will be a much faster trip back.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Iri said. ¡°I was being glib.¡± She abandoned her computer at the table and came to sit on the couch next to Yan, who didn¡¯t turn to look at her, even as their elbows brushed. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you go back with him, then?¡±

    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be the same.¡±

    ¡°Emerri won¡¯t be, either,¡± Iri warned.

    ¡°I know.¡± Yan closed her eyes, and Iri leaned on her shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s not like Emerri is even home. I¡¯ve lived in it for months, but I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ve really gotten used to my apartment yet.¡± She, too, was being a little flippant, but that was better than anything else she could be.

    ¡°Where is home, then?¡± Iri asked.

    It should have been the  Iron Dreams  , probably, but what Yan¡¯s mind went to was a sunny dorm apartment, small and a little messy, with Sylva just out of sight, humming some mindless tune from one room over. Her Academy dorm room was even more gone than the chance of returning to the  Iron Dreams  was. She tried to push the image out of her mind, and she shook her head.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Iri said, though Yan didn¡¯t know to what she was responding. ¡°I get it.¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°The past isn¡¯t a home you can go back to,¡± Iri said. With that, she pulled herself away from Yan and stood. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean that there isn¡¯t plenty waiting for you back on Emerri.¡±

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Before Yan could figure out what Iri meant by that, Iri was gathering up her computer and heading back out of the room, leaving Yan alone with her thoughts.

    <hr>

    Surprisingly, Yan slept better that night. Perhaps it a built up exhaustion, or perhaps it was the feeling that she was committed to a course, in more ways than one. Politically, she and Sid would have to follow through on the threats that Sid had made, if Governor Cresas wouldn¡¯t agree to the Guild¡¯s terms. And, in her personal life, even if her conversation with her uncle had been difficult, acknowledging her station in a way that she hadn¡¯t before was freeing. She would try not to go into the meeting with Apprentice Olms thinking of herself as a spacer¡ª she was there as First Sandreas¡¯s representative, after all. It would be detrimental to try to be anything more or less than that.

    When Yan met with Sid the next morning, however, he looked worse than he had the morning before, which was saying something. He ate his breakfast with his eyes half closed, and he didn¡¯t even see Yan waving at him to get his attention until she reached over and tugged the sleeve of his cassock. He flinched when she did, and Yan signed a quick, ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± he mumbled back, which was quite unusual for him. Maybe he just didn¡¯t want to put down his coffee mug.

    ¡°Did you sleep at all?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Not really.¡±

    ¡°Do you want to skip the, uh¡­¡± Yan consulted the itinerary that Iri had handed her as she came in to eat. ¡°Citizens forum we¡¯re supposed to hold? I can do it myself, if you want.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sid said. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°You can nap after that, I guess. We¡¯re not meeting with the Guild party until dinner.¡±

    ¡°I should offer to do that for you.¡± He wrinkled his nose as he said this, clearly annoyed with her offer of relieving his workload and just looking to get back at her for it.

    ¡°No, I told my uncle that I would go.¡±

    ¡°How was your talk with him?¡±

    Yan shrugged. She didn¡¯t feel like telling Sid that she had been tempted to accept her uncle¡¯s offer to leave her apprenticeship. He would probably never let her live that down.

    ¡°Cool. Seems like a really productive talk,¡± Sid said, further annoyed by her evasiveness. He crammed some buttery toast into his mouth, ending the conversation.

    The day went by very quickly. The citizen¡¯s forum went about as well as something like that could have. It was intended to be an airing of grievances about the Guild¡¯s blockade, but all the people who asked questions had been vetted beforehand, so there wasn¡¯t much in the way of surprises. And, with her clearer mind, Yan found it easy to embody her role as First Sandreas¡¯s apprentice¡ª every time she needed to speak, she would call to mind the way he stood in front of any crowd, and tried to imitate that confident bearing. She was only a shadow of it, and it was probably her title that was doing all of the work, but having a model to conform to let her take some of the personal feeling out of it. She didn¡¯t have to be Yan in front of the crowd¡ª she only had to be Apprentice BarCarran.

    In the afternoon, when she was alone and did have to be herself again, this was when the doubts began to creep back in. She couldn¡¯t stop thinking about what Iri had said the night before. She knew that she should write to Sylva, even if she couldn¡¯t bring herself to call her over the ansible. Not writing to her uncle had been a mistake, and Yan knew that not writing to Sylva would break something important¡ª if it wasn¡¯t broken already. But as she sat in her hotel room and tried vainly to compose a letter, one that  couldn¡¯t  feel like an impersonal school assignment, Yan realized that she had no idea what to say.

    It didn¡¯t help that Sylva hadn¡¯t written to  her , but, of course, why would she?

    Yan was almost relieved when dinner time came around and it was time to meet with the Guild.

    They were meeting in a restaurant, since the Guild offices on Olar were utilitarian and had no formal reception area. They could have met in the Imperial offices, which did have a small reception area, but Apprentice Olms had requested a meeting elsewhere. Since Yan and Sid had no attachment to the Imperial buildings, they agreed. It was strange, but Yan didn¡¯t think much of it. It was probably just another way for Apprentice Olms to assert the Guild¡¯s autonomy¡ª they were not vassals of the Imperial government, and did not have to rely on the Imperial government¡¯s goodwill, even in small matters. It was a power play, if a silly and inconsequential one.

    The restaurant was quite beautiful. Like much of the Olar vernacular architecture, it was play between stone and metal and glass, but where most buildings had harsh corners and straight lines, the restaurant drew the eye around marble arches and swooping windows, all graceful curves. The interior was bright and airy, even in the private, smaller dining room that had been set up for their party. One wall was entirely taken up by a waterfall that burbled quietly down into a glass basin where little fish darted back and forth. Yan and Sid had arrived before the Guild patry, and Yan watched the fish move, almost hypnotized by the motion.

    Sid looked quite regal in his formal cassock, and he had recovered slightly from the morning. At least his glasses did their part in hiding the bags under his eyes, and he could drape himself in a chair in a kind of casual way that disguised any tension in his body. He, too, was pretending to be Sandreas¡ª Yan could tell. When she and Sid were alone, he never sat quite like that, with his legs crossed and his hands loosely folded on his knee. He was usually much more animated, with his hands free and his posture crooked, with his perpetual cheeky grin. But Sandreas often sat like this in public. Seeing Sid take up these mannerisms, and seeing how natural they would have appeared on him if she hadn¡¯t known what his usual habits were, made Yan wonder how much Sandreas was putting on these movements like his own costume, or if over the years he had been first, they had become simply part of himself. She didn¡¯t have much time to think about this, because the Guild delegation arrived, and she and Sid stood to greet them.

    Apprentice Yuuni Olms looked about the same as she had when Yan had last seen her at the Governor¡¯s dinner, but where she had been relaxed and happy then, her facial expression now held none of the smiling camaraderie that she had once shown to Yan. It would have been nice to think that this was just because she was here to conduct a serious conversation with the Imperial government on her own authority, rather than attend a party as a tag-along of Guildmaster Vaneik, but Yan didn¡¯t think that was the case. Even if her uncle had convinced Olms that Yan had been painted in a bad light, there was no denying the cold truth of what had happened on the  Sky Boat , and even Yan¡¯s earlier defense of Guildmaster Vaneik probably wouldn¡¯t count in her favor. Especially since Yan¡¯s saving him from assassins had never been publicized¡ª it wouldn¡¯t help with the attitudes of the Guild members who followed Olms in.

    Yan didn¡¯t recognize them, aside from her uncle, but after she and Sid shook Olms¡¯s hand, they were introduced. Four delegates from the Guild had been sent¡ª Maxes BarCarran from the  Iron Dreams  ; a moon-faced man named Guinine Wole from the  Flowerchain  ; Jesse Callox, a shockingly short (for a spacer) woman from the  Heartland  ; and the stern looking Xiu Illiot from the  Unbroken Circle . They all greeted Yan and Sid politely enough, but Yan could feel suspicion in their gazes, especially from Wole. When he shook Yan¡¯s hand, he almost crushed her fingers with his, even though his hands were just as thin and spidery as hers were.

    They all sat down at the table immediately, since spacers rarely had any sort of pre-meal meeting elsewhere. The main gathering room on any ship was the mess hall, so this shaped the way every spacer meeting proceeded, and it was comfortable for Yan to follow this custom. Yan and Sid sat next to each other, directly across from Olms. Maxes ended up in the seat farthest away from Yan, and she tried not to look at him, though she knew he was looking at her. When the food was brought in, Olms asked, ¡°Since we¡¯re all strangers here, who should say the blessing?¡±

    ¡°You can,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°First Sandreas would never let my master have that privilege,¡± Olms said.

    ¡°I think we¡¯d like to get along with you far better than First Sandreas gets along with Guildmaster Vaneik,¡± Sid said.

    This elicited a half-laugh from Olms and a nod from Maxes, but stony silence from the three other delegates.

    ¡°Very well.¡± Olms closed her eyes. ¡°And I¡¯ve attended enough events with the two of them to be tired of First Sandreas¡¯s patented five-minute long blessing. I won¡¯t inflict one upon you.¡± She raised her hands. ¡°Lord, since the days of Terae, you have given us a life that cannot be lived alone. Every good thing in this world is passed from one hand to the next. You give life to grain, one man tends his fields, another man grinds wheat into flour, and the last bakes it for us to eat. When we break bread with our companions, we are nourished by Your love: we thank You for giving us bread to eat, and others to share it with.¡±

    It was a fairly standard spacer prayer, but Yan couldn¡¯t help but wonder how deliberately it had been chosen¡ª was it just Olms¡¯s favorite, or was she making a point about Olar¡¯s situation, or the necessity of the mutual pacts between Guild ships? Yan couldn¡¯t tell.

    ¡°I appreciate the simplicity,¡± Sid said when she lowered her hands and opened her eyes.

    ¡°Elaborate rites have never come naturally to me,¡± Olms said. ¡°I¡¯ll leave that duty to you, as First Sandreas¡¯s apprentice. We spacers tend to live much more¡­ transparent lives.¡±

    ¡°I think I¡¯m quite familiar with the way spacers operate, by now,¡± Sid said. ¡°I¡¯ve spent more than enough time with Yan.¡±

    Yan¡¯s smile, which had already been forced, took on the feeling of rigor mortis. She took the next available opportunity to squish Sid¡¯s foot with hers under the table, trying to get him to stop. Sid had no reaction.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Olms said, in a neutral tone. Yan couldn¡¯t help but notice that Olms was strangely distracted, barely giving any consideration to Sid¡¯s remark, even as the Guild delegates down the table had an array of frowning reactions.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that Apprentice Olms understands very well what it¡¯s like to leave your family¡¯s ship for so long,¡± Wole said from his seat across from Maxes. ¡°One doesn¡¯t typically walkabout for ten years, or leave the ship for that long without being married.¡±

    ¡°It was a privilege for me to attend the Academy, and a privilege that I have been able to spend so long on my father¡¯s ship,¡± Olms said, only half paying attention to her own words. She was distracted because she was using the power. Yan could feel it. She was investigating the food that had been placed in front of every person at the table: first her own, then Yan¡¯s, then Sid¡¯s, and the rest of the Guild delegates. Yan, who had raised her wineglass halfway to her lips, as an excuse to not say anything, froze when she felt what Olms was doing.

    When Olms finally released her power and reached for her own wine glass, Yan hesitated before taking a sip. Why had Olms been investigating her food? Olms had chosen the restaurant¡ª she wouldn¡¯t be trying to poison them, would she?

    Yan met Olms¡¯s eyes for a moment, and Olms gave an almost invisible nod and took a drink from her own glass. Yan decided to trust her, and drank. The wine stung her mouth and sat heavily in her stomach.

    Now that Olms had finished her trick with the power, she could focus on the conversation again. She continued. ¡°My father is certainly glad that I was able to spend so much time both on Emerri, and working with Guildmaster Vaneik,¡± Olms said. ¡°I¡¯m pleased to have been able to forge such strong bonds of trust between myself, various planetary governments and trade organizations, and the ships of the Guild. My father is eager to put me to use again, when the guildmaster releases me from my apprenticeship.¡± She laughed, a very practiced tone. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t begrudge him that, would you, Wole?¡±

    ¡°No, of course not, Apprentice.¡± He tilted his head. ¡°But I think there is some part of me that will be relieved when the finders check my daughter and confirm that she does not have the privilege of being a sensitive, to be taken away from me for ten years, or forever.¡±

    ¡°It seems to me that everyone on the ground is eager to get their children out of their house as quickly as possible,¡± Illiot said. ¡°I¡¯ve always found that very strange.¡±

    ¡°It is a completely different way of living,¡± Callox said. ¡°Apprentice Welslak is outnumbered among us, but even so, I won¡¯t presume to tell him that the spacer ways are better. Were your parents eager to see you leave?¡±

    ¡°They always grew tired of me when I came back,¡± Sid said. ¡°But I did that to them on purpose, so they¡¯d miss me less.¡± He grinned, though it didn¡¯t reach his eyes, and the half-joke fell flat: none of the spacers laughed at all.

    Maxes was staying quiet during this conversation, which Yan appreciated, but she could feel his gaze on her. She tried to switch the topic. ¡°How are you finding Olar, Apprentice Olms?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I could do without the cold,¡± Olms said. ¡°But I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll have to stay here for long, so I¡¯m sure that I will survive somehow.¡±

    ¡°Yes, the weather is deeply unpleasant,¡± Wole said. ¡°It seems to me that all this system¡¯s mining could be accomplished just as easily from stations in orbit around either the planet or the star. Why a couple hundred million people need to endure this climate¡ª I¡¯ll never understand.¡±

    ¡°Probably because stations could not accommodate a couple hundred million people,¡± Callox pointed out. ¡°Besides, they¡¯ve been settling this planet for a hundred years¡ª they¡¯re hardly all going to get up and leave because you don¡¯t like the weather.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯d have even more trouble with pirates if they were just stations,¡± Maxes said. ¡°People living on planets don¡¯t have to worry about raids.¡±

    ¡°¡®Worry¡¯ isn¡¯t the way I¡¯d describe anyone on Olar¡¯s attitude towards pirates, that¡¯s for sure,¡± Wole said. ¡°Even their governor seems to want to lay out a fresh and inviting meal for them when they come around.¡±

    ¡°Your meeting with Governor Cresas went that badly?¡± Yan asked. Wole glared at her, as though speaking up was forbidden.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say it went badly,¡± Olms said. ¡°I think that the governor may simply take longer to warm up to our suggestions than I was hoping. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll come around eventually.¡±

    ¡°What was he objecting to?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Are you going to raise an objection about our way of negotiating, too?¡± Wole asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re just very curious as to what your terms were,¡± Sid said, probably a little harsher than he intended to. ¡°Governor Cresas has all the reason in the universe to agree to your demands, so unless they¡¯re truly beyond reason, I don¡¯t see why there would be any issue. You¡¯re holding a sword to his throat, considering that this planet will start to starve if you won¡¯t allow ships to trade here again.¡±

    But perhaps he had been just as blunt as he intended to be.

    Olms remained very calm. ¡°I would like assurances that the Guild will be safe to travel in this system. You should want that too, considering what happened to you on your trip.¡± Olms seemed to immediately regret her words, and disguised a chagrined grimace by picking up her wineglass. The rest of the Guild delegation, excluding Maxes, had an array of scowls.

    ¡°What are you proposing, or asking for?¡± Yan asked, trying to keep the conversation on topic.

    ¡°First of all, considering that ship route and location information is clearly being sold to the highest bidder, I would like their entire customs and control office to be fired, and replaced with an outside staff.¡± Olms held up her hand to forestall any objection. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be a Guild staff¡ª a selection of trustworthy people chosen by the Imperial government would suit us just as well.¡±

    ¡°How generous of you,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°The Imperial government respects the work that we do, and understands how vital the safety of Guild ships is,¡± Olms said. ¡°And the Imperial government often has more trustworthy employees. People who aren¡¯t already deep in Olar¡¯s¡­ ecosystem.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re saying they¡¯ll be trustworthy until they begin to feel like this place is home,¡± Sid pointed out.

    ¡°Well, if they¡¯re employees of the Imperial government, I doubt it would be that much of a burden to rotate them out every few years,¡± Olms said. ¡°Certainly there would be some people who enjoy traveling, and a higher pay rate for doing so.¡±

    ¡°And what were the rest of your terms?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Again, the customs and control office is being restaffed, we would like to have some increased supervision of the material that is being brought onto our ships. The port is clearly not performing thorough enough import/export checks on things that pass through, and I have my suspicions as to why.¡±

    ¡°Bribery,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Among other things.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re very blunt, Apprentice,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°The best contracts are those written in plain language,¡± Olms replied.

    ¡°You couldn¡¯t just be concerned with staffing changes on the planet,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t see any reason for the governor to refuse you if that¡¯s all you¡¯re looking for.¡±

    ¡°No, that isn¡¯t all we asked for, though the governor did object quite strenuously. I don¡¯t believe he thinks we should have the authority to micromanage the personnel affairs of his planet.¡± This statement from Olms got a laugh out of Callox.

    ¡°You¡¯d think that he was being held at gunpoint by a cartel of customs workers for how strongly he objected,¡± Callox said.

    ¡°Maybe he is,¡± Wole pointed out.

    ¡°Regardless, that was not the only thing we asked for. We did also ask for the planetary government to provide sub-light escort ships at predetermined jump points within the system, to provide some measure of protection against pirate incursions, and to submit to an Imperial anti-corruption review.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Yan said, and couldn''t say much more. Those last two were much larger demands than anything else. ¡°I suppose I can see why there would be objections.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that between us, we¡¯ve managed to put the poor governor between a rock and a hard place,¡± Sid said. ¡°It will be illuminating to see which one he chooses.¡± He lifted his wine glass in a funny toast, though the Guild delegates did not seem to be entertained by it. ¡°I¡¯d bet money that he picks the rock.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m curious as to what pressure you put on the governor,¡± Olms said. ¡°And why you chose to make your own demands so quickly.¡±

    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have mentioned it, of course,¡± Sid said. ¡°Simply put, I don¡¯t want to stay on this planet any longer than I have to, and it seems that the governor is not eager to solve the problem in a way that involves him making any changes whatsoever. If he does not make changes, the Imperial government will make those changes for him. Olar does not need to be self-governing. If reminding the governor what power the Imperial government would be well within our rights to exert is what you¡¯d consider undue pressure¡ª¡± Sid shrugged.

    ¡°How lucky we are that the Guild¡¯s charter does not allow you to pressure  us  in the same way,¡± Wole said. Sid smiled, with teeth.

    ¡°It¡¯s curious to me that you¡¯re suddenly willing to be so generous to the Guild,¡± Illiot said. ¡°I have to wonder why. First Sandreas would be far less eager to step on the citizens of Olar than you seem to be. It¡¯s true that you would find it much more difficult to pressure us into returning to trade with Olar without any substantial changes being made, but it¡¯s strange to me that you did not try.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s patently obvious that we are the aggrieved party in this situation,¡± Olms said. ¡°I see no reason why the Imperial government should not be generous to us. First Sandreas clearly takes the issue seriously, and is willing to work with us, rather than against us. That¡¯s why he sent his apprentices, and gave them power to resolve the issue. If he was so averse to pressuring the Olar government, he wouldn¡¯t have done anything to interfere, and would have let us solve it ourselves.¡±

    ¡°Still, Delegate Illiot is right. I find it hard to believe that First Sandreas gave you the instruction to completely destroy Olar¡¯s self government. He¡¯s never done that before, at least. So I have to wonder if you are going so far out of your way to pressure Olar, rather than us for a reason. It¡¯s not simply because there are personal harms that you are attempting to redress?¡± Wole asked.

    Yan bit her lip before she spoke, and she ignored the question. ¡°It concerns the Imperial government when pirates are congregating in a system,¡± she said. ¡°I think it¡¯s very reasonable for us to have an interest in stopping it, regardless of anything else. The Imperial government is willing to do what it takes to improve the situation here.¡±

    ¡°The Imperial government has never taken that much interest in stopping piracy before,¡± Wole said.

    ¡°We take curtailing the black market very seriously. It¡¯s never been this blatant before, and so you¡¯re seeing a proportionate response.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps,¡± Olms said. She tried to switch the conversation back on topic. ¡°I do have to ask, Apprentices, if the governor does not choose to comply with our demands, are  you willing to comply with them, once you¡¯ve stripped Olar of its autonomy?¡±

    ¡°Some,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Which ones, I wonder?¡± Wole asked.

    ¡°I think that it is safe to say that we will replace the entire customs and import office,¡± Yan said. ¡°That is a reasonable first step. We will also undoubtedly be thorough about checking goods passing through the port.¡±

    Olms nodded, but Wole said, ¡°But even when you have stripped Olar of its government power, you won¡¯t investigate the planetary government for corruption? That, Apprentice BarCarran, seems cowardly.¡±

    ¡°What would it gain?¡± Yan asked. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Delegate Wole, but even if we are taking drastic steps to solve the problem, I do have to consider the feelings of the citizens of Olar. To hold public trials for their elected officials, as we replace their government with our own¡ª¡±

    ¡°So, you¡¯ll let the people who sold the locations of ships in the system to pirates, who set them up to die, walk free?¡± Wole asked. ¡°Because you can¡¯t bear to hunt down the people responsible¡ª because you don¡¯t really care about Guild ships¡ª¡±

    ¡°That is quite enough, Delegate Wole,¡± Olms said.

    Wole fell silent, but glared at Yan, who was struggling to retain her composure. Her uncle looked at her with a pained expression.

    ¡°When we jumped in to the system,¡± Illiot said, ¡°we intentionally picked a jump point in system close to where the ship  White Bird  was attacked. It was difficult to spend eight hours looking at that dead husk, and then to receive the message about what had happened on the  Sky Boat . It left a bad taste in my mouth, and Delegate Wole¡¯s.¡± Illiot¡¯s voice was cold and even, and she looked at Wole, rather than Yan or Sid. It wasn¡¯t meant as an apology.

    ¡°I understand,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Why did you pick that jump location?¡± Sid asked. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    ¡°Because Apprentice Olms is not someone who looks away from the duty she has towards the Guild¡¯s ships¡ª as a spacer, or as Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s apprentice,¡± Wole said. ¡°Unlike¡ª¡±

    ¡°I said enough, Delegate Wole!¡± Olms said. Yan felt the haze and shimmer of the power around her. ¡°If you cannot refrain from making disparaging comments towards First Sandreas¡¯s apprentices, then I will kindly ask you to leave and allow us to finish discussing our real business.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand why you are so willing to pretend that¡ª¡±

    ¡°Pretend what, Wole?¡±

    Olm¡¯s power, which had been vague and swirling, focused to a narrow point. Yan felt Olms take hold of Wole¡¯s clothing, the formal suit he was wearing. There was no way he could have noticed Olms doing this, but Olms could have thrown him to the floor or wall with a single thought.

    ¡°Pretend that promises these two make will mean anything. They didn¡¯t abide by the promise of mutual defense, so¡ª¡±

    This was as far as Wole got. Olms pulled on his clothing, forcing him from his seat. He was light enough that she didn¡¯t have to pay much attention to how she was manhandling him¡ª none of the seams tore. His chair tipped over behind him. Olms wasn¡¯t doing anything to his body itself¡ª Yan wondered if she even could¡ª but Wole was still so surprised that he couldn¡¯t speak, and was instead opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

    ¡°If you have something productive to say, you may say it to me privately, later,¡± Olms said. ¡°For now, I will bid you goodnight, Delegate.¡±

    She shoved Wole away from the table, and he found that he could move his legs and walk under his own power towards the door. He left without looking back. Callox picked up the chair that had been tipped over. The sudden argument over, the room fell into a very strained silence.

    ¡°You¡¯ll make a good captain,¡± Maxes finally said from down the table. ¡°I hope your father realizes that.¡±

    Olms, now perfectly calm¡ª even smiling, said, ¡°I¡¯m sure he does.¡±

    Without Wole, and with the other delegates having been warned by his example not to make trouble over dinner, the rest of the meal went fairly smoothly. In all, it was a waiting game¡ª waiting to see if the governor would capitulate to the Guild¡¯s demands, or if the Imperial government would have to follow through on the threats that Sid had made. Yan hoped that the Guild would reach a compromise with the planet before it reached that point, but she was doubtful.

    ¡°First Sandreas will be coming to Olar himself,¡± Sid said as the meal was wrapping up. ¡°He should arrive in a few days. I think that if the Guild has not reached an agreement with the planet by then, First Sandreas will formally instate a new Imperial advisor for Olar at that time. It¡¯s a reasonable deadline.¡±

    Olms nodded. ¡°That is reasonable. I didn¡¯t expect him to come personally.¡±

    ¡°Changed plans,¡± Yan said. ¡°But it gives you a little extra bargaining power.¡±

    ¡°That it does, Apprentice,¡± Olms said with a light laugh.

    After the meal was over and both parties were leaving the restaurant to go back to their limos and hotels, Yan pulled Olms aside, just outside the entrance of the building. Snow swirled about them, and their breaths rose in twin columns. Sid stood a little ways away, and glared at any of the Guild delegates who tried to come close enough to hear Yan¡¯s murmured conversation with Olms.

    ¡°I hope defending us hasn¡¯t cost you anything,¡± Yan said.

    Olms laughed. ¡°No, why would it?¡± She buried her hands in her pockets, and Yan felt a little bad for delaying her at the door¡ª none of the Guild people were dressed for the weather, unlike Yan in her heavy cloak. ¡°Nomar¡± ¡ª Nomar Thule, Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s other apprentice¡ª ¡°wouldn¡¯t have, but I¡¯m not Nomar.¡±

    Yan nodded, then asked, ¡°Why did you check everyone¡¯s food?¡±

    This made Olms narrow her eyes. ¡°You should be checking yours, too, Yan. If you don¡¯t know how, get the pirate to teach you, and quickly.¡±

    ¡°Do you really think¡ª¡±

    ¡°The guildmaster was almost assassinated, not that long ago. You were there. You were attacked by pirates on your way here. I¡¯m not a believer in coincidences.¡± She furrowed her brow. ¡°Things have been stranger in the past year than they have been since I became Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s apprentice. I don¡¯t want to be paranoid, but I also don¡¯t want to be dead.¡±

    ¡°You check the guildmaster¡¯s food, too?¡±

    ¡°Of course. And when I¡¯m not around, Nomar does.¡± She let out a rueful sigh. ¡°I hope that once he releases the two of us from our apprenticeship, he doesn¡¯t immediately end up dying of something that a sensitive could have prevented.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re his apprentice, not his bodyguard.¡±

    Olms touched Yan¡¯s arm lightly. ¡°Well, it hardly matters,¡± she said. ¡°Goodnight, Apprentice BarCarran.¡±

    ¡°Goodbye,¡± Yan said. She watched Olms get into the taxi and head off, feeling very strange.

 All Changed, Changed Utterly

    All Changed, Changed Utterly

    Yan and Sid continued to attend various discussions with the Guild and the Olar government over the next few days. None of them felt like they went anywhere, and they were exhausting without being productive. The low level staff on Olar weren¡¯t willing to make a move without Governor Cresas¡¯s approval, and Cresas kept dragging things out, trying to change the Guild¡¯s demands. It was clear that he did not want to submit to any sort of corruption investigation, and he would probably decide to go the route of letting First Sandreas dissolve the Olar government completely rather than comply. This delay grated on Sid, even though they physically could not leave the planet until First Sandreas arrived on the  First Star .

    ¡°He knows that the more uncooperative he is, the more likely Sandreas will be to have him hauled up before a tribunal, right? Taking power away from the two of us by waiting for Sandreas to make the actual judgment call isn¡¯t going to help him,¡± Sid complained one night after they returned to their hotel. He was stomping around the lounge and signing with a snappy harshness that Yan thought would make her own shoulders tired.

    ¡°He might have thought you were bluffing, and that you didn¡¯t actually have the power to unseat the Olar government. And he¡¯s making a bet that Sandreas won¡¯t do that. I probably wouldn¡¯t, if it were up to me.¡±

    ¡°I would, though.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have made your ultimatum in the first place. I hope Sandreas isn¡¯t mad about it.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if he¡¯s mad. He¡¯ll be more unhappy with Olar.¡±

    That was probably true, but Yan wouldn¡¯t be so quick to think that Sandreas would forgive Sid for his overstep so easily. ¡°It will matter to you.¡±

    Sid turned away without replying.

    On the last day before Sandreas was set to arrive, the mood during discussions was fouler than usual. The Guild delegates were feeling antsy about spending so much time on a planet, and even though Olms kept them in line, their frustration was growing. There were constant barely-audible mutters between a couple of them about leaving Olar and allowing the planet to starve, but Olms was determined to at least wait until she had met with Sandreas. This may have just been pragmatism: her father¡¯s ship, the  Neutron Star  had left the system to go perform a few small contract jobs for nearby planets¡ª none of the Guild delegates would be able to leave until that ship was called back, anyway.

    When Yan asked about this, Olms laughed. ¡°Unfortunately, my father has gotten the worst of both worlds from having me as his daughter. He is occasionally forced to ferry me around, and yet I have none of Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s real power. If I had a ship of my own¡ª well, I still wouldn¡¯t want to lose millions of credits wasting time doing nothing, either.¡±

    ¡°Does Apprentice Thule¡¯s family help him travel?¡± Yan asked.

    A cloud passed over Olm¡¯s face. ¡°No,¡± she said, and that was that.

    If the whole set of negotiations had ended up as something other than a game of waiting for Sandreas¡¯s fury to descend on the planet, there might have been some sort of celebration the night before he was supposed to arrive. Even if it had just been a tense gathering with drinks to facilitate it, it would have been something to occupy Yan¡¯s time. But instead, there was nothing. This left Yan sitting in the lounge of the hotel, again, trying and failing to compose a letter to Sylva. Again.

    She was sitting near the tall windows, her computer in front of her. Although she kept typing a few words into the message box, she almost immediately deleted them every time, and then gazed out the window. It wasn¡¯t snowing tonight¡ª the air was crystal clear, and the lights from the hotel were glinting off the piles of snow that formed up in hard banks along the sides of the road.

    She watched the usual set of people coming and going from the hotel, carrying in suitcases and hastily shuffling between the idling taxis and the warm hotel entrance. She wondered who they were, and what business they were coming to undertake here in City One. Probably most of them were businessmen, trying to find a way to deal with the impacts of the Guild¡¯s trade blockade¡ª find new places to store their finished products for shipment out, since the ports were backed up with goods that couldn¡¯t move; negotiate ways to pay for the last remaining supplies of imported materials, since there would be no more coming in until the situation was resolved. But some might be in the city to visit family, and some might be waiting in hotels to try to take the first Guild ship that offered passenger service off the planet, once that passenger service started up again. Yan didn¡¯t know for sure¡ª there was no way to tell who anyone was from the way they were bundled up against the cold. But thinking about these people and their trials distracted her from her own.

    However, when a solitary person slipped out of the hotel side door dressed in a very conspicuous embroidered cloak and began to walk down the street a little ways to hail a taxi, Yan narrowed her eyes. Sid had said just a half hour before that he was planning to go to sleep, to be more refreshed for Sandreas¡¯s arrival. The fact that he had lied, and the fact that neither his minder nor any of the security team had followed him out of the hotel, meant that he was up to something. Yan stood hastily, shoved her phone in her pocket, and began to leave the lounge.

    ¡°Going somewhere?¡± Iri asked, looking up from her own correspondence.

    ¡°Bathroom,¡± Yan mumbled.

    Over the past few days of living in the hotel, Yan had developed a clear mental picture of all its entrances and exits, and where the security teams patrolled and monitored. She, too, took the side door out. As she left, she glanced up at the security cameras. Sid had covered them with fallen snow, making it look like a gust of wind had blown through incidentally.

    Outside the hotel, the cold hit her with force, immediately pulling all feeling from her skin. Although she was at least wearing her warmer boots, she hadn¡¯t had time to put on her winter cloak, and was just wearing her cassock. It was warm, but not warm enough. Wind whipped by her, picking up snow from the ground and crusting it along her body. She ignored this and ran towards Sid, sliding along the icy street, and arrived just as he was climbing into the passenger seat of a taxi. He glared at her, but made no move or sign to stop her, and Yan climbed in next to him.

    Sid gave the driver an address that Yan didn¡¯t know, and the car spun off.

    ¡°Now you¡¯re going to get us both yelled at,¡± Sid signed. ¡°I was planning to have that fun all for myself.¡±

    ¡°Where are we going?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Why did you follow me?¡± Sid replied, instead of answering the question.

    ¡°We both followed Kino, once.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not Kino.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re easier to see.¡± Yan reached out and rapped on his shaved head. ¡°You¡¯re shiny.¡±

    That made Sid smile¡ª a more genuine expression than she had seen from him in a long time.

    ¡°Really¡ª where are you going?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Some place your minder told me I didn¡¯t have time to visit.¡±

    Yan scoured her memory, and then remembered what Sid was talking about. ¡°You want to embroider yourself?¡± She signed. The pun made Sid grin further. It almost felt like some of the misery of the last few weeks had finally receded¡ª here in this taxi, where it was just her and Sid, anyway.

    ¡°I want to be less shiny,¡± he replied, and gestured to his own head.

    Yan looked at him askance. ¡°That will hurt.¡±

    Sid huffed and looked away out the window. Yan poked his shoulder to get him to return his attention to her.

    ¡°What picture are you going to have embroidered?¡± she asked when he finally turned back to her.¡±

    ¡°None,¡± he replied. He held out his left hand and gestured for her to take it. Yan did, and he turned his palm up. She wondered what exactly he was trying to show her, when she felt his power move, and he pointed to the fleshy area between his thumb and index finger, where a small dot of ink had risen to the surface of his skin. The power moved again, and it vanished.

    ¡°How did you do that?¡± Yan asked when Sid pulled his hand back.

    ¡°If you mix different pigments, a dark one and a light one, you can move one over the other,¡± he replied. ¡°It works well on a small scale.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯ll test the large scale on your head?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t get a better chance. Not like I¡¯ll ever come her again, and everybody here does have big tattoos¡ª they have to know what they¡¯re doing.¡±

    ¡°If you say so.¡±

    Sid stuck out his tongue.

    They hadn¡¯t driven that far from the hotel, but it was at this point that Yan¡¯s phone rang in her pocket. Iri had noticed that both of them were missing. It hadn¡¯t taken long at all. Yan silenced the call, then typed a text message explaining that she and Sid had gone out and that everything was fine. ¡°We don¡¯t need to be supervised all the time,¡± she mumbled under her breath as she typed. Iri would probably send people to follow them, but they would at least try to be inconspicuous and not bother the two ofthem.

    ¡°You should have left that at the hotel,¡± Sid signed, very annoyed.

    ¡°I want to avoid a panic. Why didn¡¯t you just tell your minder that you wanted to go out?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t need Hernan following me constantly,¡± Sid said. ¡°It¡¯s not like anything is going to happen to me on Olar, and it wouldn¡¯t matter, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t say that.¡±

    Sid shrugged and looked out the window. He was still in a good mood, Yan thought, but the fatalism in his statement concerned her. Since he wasn¡¯t looking at her, she brushed his hand with hers, a quick request for permission to speak with him through the power. In response, he flipped his hand palm up on the seat between them, letting Yan lay her hand across his¡ª not quite holding hands, but almost.

    You feeling better?  Yan asked.

    Sid took a second to respond.  Different,  he said.

    In what way?

    We¡¯re getting out of here, finally. I won¡¯t have any more responsibilities, and¡­

    What?

    I¡¯ve made up my mind about some things.

    Such as?

    It¡¯s not important.

    Yan¡¯s thoughts flitted back to Sylva, and the letter she had been failing to write.  Well, I wish I could figure out whatever you have.

    I¡¯m sure you already have.

    This was mysterious, and Yan furrowed her eyebrows, but Sid felt reluctant to say anything else, and Yan didn¡¯t want to pry. She just left her hand resting on his, and changed the subject.  Why¡¯d you let me come with you, if you didn¡¯t want your minder to come?

    I couldn¡¯t have stopped you.  This was only partially true, and Sid continued after Yan¡¯s half mental objection.   You understand it all,  he said.  And I like your company.

    Yan felt a rush of warmth at that, but in lieu of letting the feeling spread through the power down through her hand and into Sid, she just curled her fingers to squeeze his hand.

    I¡¯ll miss you when we leave Olar,  Sid said.

    Yan almost objected again¡ª she and Sid were headed to the same place, after all¡ª but she understood. When it wasn¡¯t just the two of them anymore, something about this experience would become trapped in amber: a bad memory frozen in time that they could only return to by looking at through a distant lens. The closeness that they had now because of it, that would change as well. It should have been good to leave the horror of the  Sky Boat  in the past, to think about her and Sid being able to move on to something else, but it still felt strange, and she couldn¡¯t help but feel guilty, too. Why did she deserve to press forward with her life, consign those moments to the past, never to return to them? The people on board the pirate ship, the family of the people that she had killed, she didn¡¯t know if they would be able to do the same.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    She felt strange, and she felt guilty, but they were going to leave Olar, ready or not. She squeezed Sid¡¯s hand.

    Are you still taking the vena ? she asked.

    Sid hesitated before answering.  Some  . She got a mental feeling of distress, and a half-formed explanation of trying to wean himself off it and failing, but she was reassured by the fact that he had been taking less of it than he had the first nights on board the  Sky Boat .

    Will you quit when you run out?

    I¡¯ll ask Kino to get me more  , he said, but it was a bitter feeling joke, with no weight in it.  I think I¡¯ll save the rest in case I really need it.  Since he had been splitting the pills into small pieces, he probably still had a few left. It would have lasted him back to Emerri, but Yan got the sense that he was going to save them for some specific event in the future, one that she could feel looming in his mental horizon, but could get no clues from. If they had been meditating together instead of merely conversing, she would have been able to discern its shape, but she got the sense that Sid wouldn¡¯t have wanted to meditate with her just now. If this was something he wanted to talk about, he would have.

    The taxi pulled up in front of a square full of market tents, the same square that held the tattoo parlor that Sid had been investigating that day on Olar. The market itself was mostly closed now¡ª the storefronts remained open, but the tents had been emptied out. Foot traffic was too low at this time of night to be worth remaining out in the cold for the scant few visitors that came through. The warm yellow string lights still decorated and lit each stall, somehow making the scene feel emptier than if it was just the distant streetlights above¡ª the decorations called attention to the emptiness of the tents. She and Sid wandered through it, looking for the tattoo parlor.

    It was still open, and its door was propped open, bright light and music coming out, and a wave of warmth melting the snow out front. The door was open because one of the staff of the parlor was sweeping the floor, pushing dirt out through the door with a big industrial broom. When Sid stuck his head in the door, she stopped what she was doing and leaned on the broom handle.

    ¡°I have to admit,¡± she said, ¡°I did not think that you would be back here, even though you did message me.¡±

    ¡°May we come in?¡± Sid asked. Yan noticed that the sign in the window that listed the hours said that the parlor was closed.

    ¡°Door¡¯s open,¡± she said.

    Sid walked in quickly, and Yan followed behind, looking around with wide eyes at the artwork on display on the walls, and the clean but strangely colorful furniture that filled the waiting area. This first area of the parlor only held waiting seats, a few tables for people to sit around, and a desk with the register on it, but there was a door that led further back, presumably to where the tattoos were done. Yan¡¯s scan of the room included the woman holding the broom, presumably the proprietor of the business, and she captured Yan¡¯s attention fully when her eyes landed on her.

    She was of average height, shorter than Sid by a few inches, with pale skin crossed by wide bands of black tattoos. They started as circles on the pointy tips of her shoulders and elbows, and radiated out across her body in concentric circles until they began to overlap, or disappeared beneath her loose grey tank top. Looking at the tattoos closely, the thick stripes resolved into tiny, detailed geometric patterns. Her fine dark hair was cut close to her head, enough that it fuzzed out rather than having enough length to lay flat, and she wore dangling earrings that glittered under the lights. She was, Yan decided, very attractive. And she noticed Yan looking her over, and gave a crooked smile. Yan quickly averted her eyes to look back at Sid.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you think I¡¯d come?¡± Sid asked.

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t know,¡± she said. ¡°Figured you¡¯d be busy. Introduce me to your companion.¡±

    ¡°Emmy Ames, Apprentice Yan BarCarran,¡± Sid said, bored already and wandering over to look at the posters on the walls.

    Emmy shook Yan¡¯s hand. ¡°You looking for a tattoo too, Ms. Yan?¡±

    ¡°Er, no,¡± Yan said. ¡°Just here for moral support.¡±

    ¡°Pity,¡± Emmy said. ¡°You¡¯d be fun to poke.¡±

    Yan¡¯s face heated up, and she gave a little laugh.

    ¡°Stop flirting,¡± Sid said, rolling his eyes.

    ¡°Right, my paying customer.¡± Emmy gestured for Sid to sit down at one of the tables in the back of the room, and they all did. ¡°So, what is it that you¡¯re looking for, exactly?¡±

    Sid described what he wanted¡ªstarting first with the mixture of inks and then tracing around his skull where he wanted full coverage, an oval that went from the nape of his neck to his forehead, approximately where hair would be if he didn¡¯t keep himself perfectly shaved, but inhumanly smooth in its contour. Emmy listened patiently.

    ¡°So, why is it that you need that specific ink mixture?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Here,¡± Sid said, and held out his hand to demonstrate his homemade tattoo test.

    Emmy leaned back and folded her arms over her chest. ¡°Now that, I¡¯m of half a mind to refuse,¡± she said.

    ¡°What? Why?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°The point of a tattoo is its permanence.¡± She shook her head. ¡°Being able to change it at will¡ªI don¡¯t like indecisive people. People who can¡¯t commit.¡±

    Sid¡¯s face reddened. Yan remembered what Sid had shown her of his apprenticeship interview, and Sid was clearly thinking of that now.

    Yan came to Sid¡¯s defense. ¡°It¡¯s not really my business,¡± Yan said, ¡°but in my opinion, Sid is very much capable of committing to things.¡± She thought about their meeting with the governor¡ªand even if Sid had only been making threats for her sake, he was still making choices that he was perfectly prepared to live with. ¡°It¡¯s not like he¡¯s getting a tattoo for the sake of hiding it. And even if he wanted to hide it, he would just grow his hair out again.¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Sid said. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to do it, I¡¯ll do it myself, or find someone else to do it for me.¡± He tried to stand to go, but Yan caught his arm.

    Emmy looked at him for a long moment as he tried to pull his wrist out of Yan¡¯s grasp. ¡°I¡¯ll do it,¡± she said. ¡°You understand that it does hurt, right?¡±

    Sid gave her a dark look, one which Yan interpreted to understand that Sid considered the experience to be at least part of the point.

    Emmy laughed. ¡°Alright,¡± she said. ¡°Gonna clean you up and get started. This¡¯ll take a good few hours, even with my biggest needles, and I don¡¯t want to be here until the sun comes up again. Usually I¡¯d do something that big in multiple sittings, but I know you said you don¡¯t have time.¡±

    Emmy brought them back into the rooms through the back door, which were set up for the artist to work on a reclining body. Yan sat on a stool in the corner as Emmy bustled around and prepared everything, humming and focusing too much on her task to make small talk that consisted of more than verbally walking through what items she was gathering and the ink she was mixing. Sid paid attention for a while, but as soon as Emmy put on her gloves and started turning his head this way and that to mark the edges of the tattoo out with a marker, he took off his glasses, handed them to Yan, and then closed his eyes.

    When Emmy asked Sid a question about something, it took a moment for Yan to process Emmy¡¯s confusion at Sid¡¯s lack of response. She had been half in a trance, watching her bustle around the room and move Sid¡¯s head delicately this way and that.

    ¡°He¡¯s deaf,¡± Yan said. ¡°He can¡¯t hear you.¡±

    Emmy raised an eyebrow, then tapped Sid¡¯s forehead. He cracked his eyes open, and looked across the room at Yan, who signed, ¡°She wants to know if you¡¯re ready to start.¡±

    ¡°Born ready,¡± Sid mumbled. ¡°Don¡¯t bother asking. Just go.¡±

    ¡°Hope you¡¯re serious when you say that. If you need to tap out, kick your feet, okay?¡±

    Yan translated this into sign for Sid, who said, ¡°Fine,¡± and closed his eyes again as Emmy nudged him to lay back in the chair. If Yan couldn¡¯t see his breathing, he might have looked like a corpse.

    ¡°It is very weird that he¡¯s just going to lay there. Most people like to talk to me,¡± Emmy said as she started her machine, adjusting herself to get the best angle on Sid¡¯s head. She looked over at Yan. ¡°He will be alright?¡±

    ¡°Can I hold his hand?¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Emmy said. Yan scraped her stool over towards Sid and picked up his hand. She got the sensation of him rolling his closed eyes, but he didn¡¯t actually object. Yan was glad she had come over, because as Emmy leaned over and brought the tattoo gun to his skin, Sid tensed and Yan squeezed his fingers. He deliberately relaxed, breathing evenly, and the machine buzzed along.

    Sid didn¡¯t send any messages through the power, and was careful to keep even the tingle of pain out of his light connection to Yan. She was curious about it, but not enough to try to share it with him. Just curious enough to watch Emmy¡¯s hands, and wonder what it would feel like to have her gloved fingers press her cheek sideways to turn her head, or brace the side of her palm on her forehead to get a better angle, or¡ª

    It did not help that every time Emmy had to lift her tattoo gun from Sid¡¯s head to fiddle with some part of it, she would look into Yan¡¯s eyes and smile, and that she kept up a wholly too friendly conversation with her the entire time, talking about her life on Olar, and her family, and telling Yan all about how tattoos had become such a staple of Olar fashion, and anything else that she could think to talk about. It was all so mundane, it would have taken Yan away from her troubles completely, had she not felt squirming and guilty about the experience. It would have been nice to let Emmy flirt with her, and be able to flirt back, but her thoughts kept returning to Sylva. Even though it was true that Yan had no real obligation to Sylva, she felt one, and watching Emmy mainly made Yan miss her.

    Emmy was working in a broad spiral around Sid¡¯s head, starting at the outer boundary of the tattoo and circling his head like a tonsure before continuing in to the center of the design. As she approached the center of the circle, after several long hours, she asked Yan, ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want one too? Not even something little?¡±

    Yan was tempted to say yes, even having spent hours watching Sid alternate between sweating and shivering on the chair before her, but shook her head. ¡°I couldn¡¯t,¡± she said. ¡°I always have to think about things for way too long.¡±

    ¡°You could do one like his,¡± Emmy pointed out. ¡°It could disappear as soon as you didn¡¯t want to see it anymore.¡±

    ¡°But I would know it was there,¡± Yan said.

    Emmy laughed. ¡°Well, it¡¯s a pity that I¡¯m losing my chance to leave a mark on the future leader of the Empire. Good to know she¡¯s an honest girl, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯ve at least got Sid,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Not quite the same.¡± But she laughed again, no hard feelings in it.

    The last section of the tattoo went quickly, and when she was finished, Sid lay still for a long minute more, completely unmoving. Emmy was concerned, but Yan reassured her that Sid was fine. He eventually stirred and pulled his hand from Yan¡¯s, then sat up, looking pale and woozy. He reached for his glasses, and Yan handed them over, though he winced when they rested on the sensitive area behind his ears, oozing and raw.

    ¡°You look like shit, my friend,¡± Emmy said, and handed him a mirror so that he could examine her work. ¡°Do not fuck with that until it is all healed.¡± She also gave him a booklet of care instructions, which he glanced at but just stuffed blearily into his pocket. A very sugary can of soda and some peanut butter crackers were the next things pressed into Sid¡¯s hands, and he shoveled them into his mouth so quickly that Yan was concerned that he might choke.

    After he was alert enough to pay and walk, he thanked Emmy for her work, and they said goodbye at the door. Emmy was yawning and stretching, though Yan discovered that some of it was a performance, at least the part where she flexed and let her tank top ride up to reveal her stomach and the top of her hips peeking out of her low-seated pants, because she winked at Yan after she did it.

    ¡°If you¡¯re ever back on Olar,¡± she said, ¡°give me a call.¡±

    Yan said something totally incoherent in response, and made a vague gesture pointing out the door, indicating that she had to leave to chase Sid, who was again summoning a taxi.

    She was lucky that Sid only had the energy to tease her a little bit on the way back to the hotel. She shook her head at his few taunts, and he let it go. She wanted to ask him what he had been thinking about during the long hours under the tattoo gun, with his eyes closed and only the feeling of the needle on his head, but she figured that it might be too personal, and if he had wanted to talk about it, he would have.

    It was very, very late when they arrived back at the hotel, although Yan was tired, she had been filled with a new energy, one that wasn¡¯t even tamped down by Iri¡¯s disapproving frown when she met the two of them at the door.

    ¡°First Sandreas is going to murder you,¡± Iri said to Sid. ¡°You look horrible.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll have to get in line behind my mother,¡± Sid said, and brushed past her to go to his room.

    ¡°I¡¯m annoyed that you enabled this,¡± Iri said to Yan as Sid stalked away.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have been able to stop him. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.¡±

    ¡°Is he?¡±

    Yan shrugged.

    ¡°Well,¡± Iri said, ¡°get some sleep. The  First Star  will be here in the morning, and First Sandreas will want to see the two of you as soon as he lands. I doubt he¡¯ll bother with the elevator.¡±

    Yan nodded, but when she went into her hotel room, she didn¡¯t get into bed. Instead, she opened her computer, and began composing a new message to Sylva. It might just have been the second wind that she was feeling, or the relief at finally going home and the knowledge that this was the last chance she had to write a letter, but the words came easily. It almost scared her, how easy it was.

    Dear Sylva  , she began, and then launched into an apology for not having written sooner, a garbled outpouring explanation of what had happened on board the  Sky Boat  and her feelings after that had prevented her from writing to anyone, even her family. Even if it was barely coherent, it was still something coming out of her, in one long rush. She trusted that Sylva would be able to understand what she was trying to say.

    <blockquote>

    And Sylva¡ª all I¡¯ve been able to think about this whole trip, after everything that happened, was how much I wanted to go home. I don¡¯t mean the  Iron Dreams  , and I told my uncle that I couldn¡¯t go back there. And I don¡¯t mean Emerri, really.

    When I thought about going home, I was always just thinking about our dorm at the Academy. I know I can¡¯t go back there¡ª and it¡¯s not like I have any reason to want to go back there except that it was the past, and I knew where I was, back then.

    Everything has changed so much, and I don¡¯t know where I am anymore. And I want to go back to this home that doesn¡¯t exist anymore, that really was just a dorm room and nothing more than that¡ª so maybe I shouldn¡¯t feel like that was my home. But I did, I guess because it had you in it.

    I¡¯m sorry for not writing or calling you over the ansible. I should have, and I know I should have. I just couldn¡¯t make myself, for whatever reason. I didn¡¯t want to think about anything, and I know that¡¯s something I should apologize for, too.

    What I¡¯m trying to say is that when I think about going home, when I think about wanting to go back to the past where I understood the world, I¡¯m really just thinking about you. That¡¯s not all of it, but the rest of it is gone forever, and you¡¯re still here. At least I hope you are.

    And on some level that scares me, because I don¡¯t want to come back and have to figure out all the ways things are different. I know nothing¡¯s ever going to be like it was again. It¡¯s all gone.

    Part of me doesn¡¯t want to drag you down with me. I feel like¡ª for what I did with the  Sky Boat  ¡ª if it wasn¡¯t abandoning ship, it has to be killing the pirates¡ª everyone should hate me for some part of that. And I know you won¡¯t¡ª I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll care about that at all. It feels wrong¡ª like no one should be able to forgive me, because then I might forgive myself and let it all fade into the past.

    First Sandreas said to me in my apprenticeship interview that I would see things and do things that I couldn¡¯t unsee or undo, and I knew he was right at the time, but what if, on the other side of this, I somehow do forget it all? What does that mean for me? If I put it away and don¡¯t look at it anymore, because I¡¯m looking at you instead.

    And I don¡¯t want to look at you and feel that I¡¯m staining you by letting you forgive me, because I don¡¯t deserve it. But I know that¡¯s a stupid way to think about anything¡ª Iri and Sid would tell me as much if I bothered to ask them, and you probably will too. It¡¯s not that you forgive me, it¡¯s that you care about me. I don¡¯t know if that makes it better or worse, but it gives me something to hold on to, something that I can understand.

    It¡¯s all a mess, Sylva. But I¡¯m coming home, and I want to come home¡ª or at least I want to see you again, regardless of anything else.

    That¡¯s all.

    Yours,

    Yan

    </blockquote>

 The Way of the World

    The Way of the World

    Aymon had never set foot on Olar. There were hundreds of planets in the Empire, and it would have been difficult for him to visit them all, even during his long reign. He took a shuttle down to the surface. He was alone¡ª or as alone as he ever was with his security team in tow. Halen and Kino remained on board the  First Star .

    He missed Halen¡¯s presence immediately, and wondered if he was making a mistake by instructing him to remain behind. After all, it had been Halen, specifically, that Iri Maedes had requested to come to the planet. But Aymon felt that it would be better to come alone, to have himself be the one to meet his apprentices at first. They were his, as Halen kept reminding him. He didn¡¯t express this directly, but Halen had agreed with the plan with no objections. He may have had his own reasons for remaining behind, but whatever they were, they didn¡¯t interfere with Aymon¡¯s.

    And, anyway, since he would be briefly meeting with the Guild representatives, Halen tended to make them nervous anyway. He didn¡¯t want to upset the fragile balance further. The situation was already fraught, no matter how many good reports about his apprentices¡¯ meetings with Yuuni Olms had been sent back to him. Olms knew how to be polite to two people who might rule the galaxy someday, if only for the sake of the future of the Guild and not for her own. She was a politician, in the most practical spacer way¡ª Aymon had heard and seen enough of her work to know that.

    It was a crisp, cold morning when he landed on Olar, in City One¡¯s airfield. The pilot of his shuttle brought them down through a tricky landing that involved a steep descent following the slopes of the mountains that held the city like a yolk in half of a cracked eggshell, all white with snow and jagged.

    He went directly to the hotel where his apprentices were staying, brushing past the hovering crowd of Olar journalists who wanted some public statement from him about his plans for the planet. He would give public remarks later. The journalists seemed particularly insistent, which must have been because the team that had accompanied Yan and Sid had set up a very strict perimeter around them: they were not to be followed around by photographers or have questions thrown at them as they walked down the street. Everything that the news needed to print could be delivered in nice, controlled settings. Anyone who dared to break the boundary and harass the two apprentices would find themselves losing their publishing license, at minimum.

    Such a perimeter might not have been enforced as strictly if Yan and Sid had not had the perilous journey on the  Sky Boat , but the team involved in shepherding the apprentices had thought it prudent to shield them as much as possible. Aymon agreed, but he did not make any such requests for himself, so people were allowed to photograph him as he arrived. Image, after all, was important.

    Yan and Sid were waiting for him in one of the hotel¡¯s private rooms, one with a large scenic window overlooking the city, and privacy glass to shield them from view from below. As Aymon walked in, the other members of Yan and Sid¡¯s cohort slipped out the door behind him, leaving him completely alone with his apprentices.

    They looked like they had barely been sleeping. Yan stood stiffly, with a serious but wide-eyed expression. Sid, on the other hand, had his shoulders hunched and his hands jammed into the pockets of his cassock, and was wearing a thick winter hat for reasons that Aymon could not possibly intuit. Aymon decided to ignore it, for the moment.

    Now that he was facing his apprentices, he wasn¡¯t exactly sure what to say. They had been apart for so long, and no matter what Halen had written in his letter saying Aymon would do, it suddenly felt like it would be quite wrong to embrace them or be in any way effusive with his feelings, whatever those feelings happened to be. This wasn¡¯t like Kino¡ª Yan and Sid had not disappeared while under his watch; their trouble seemed like something he was too far away to touch, even as he stood right next to them.

    To give himself further time to think, even if only a few seconds, he held his arm out to the set of couches in the lounge, and silently went over to sit. Yan and Sid settled themselves uncomfortably across from him, their elbows brushing. Aymon watched them for a second, then finally let out a breath and asked, ¡°How are you?¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Yan said.

    Sid shrugged and looked past Aymon, out the window.

    ¡°An answer I would expect, from the woman who wrote me the most impersonal letter in the universe, and never called me on the ansible,¡± Aymon said. What compelled him to be antagonistic, he didn¡¯t know. It was an old, bad habit, but it almost always got results, of some kind. An angry person was easier to engage with than an indifferent one, or one intent on protecting themself. It gave Aymon something to bounce off of, a wedge to drive his fingers under.

    He had managed to strike a nerve with Yan. She furrowed her eyebrows and said, ¡°I did write to you.¡± Unspoken, probably, was a complaint that Halen had written his letter to her.

    Aymon leaned back in his seat. ¡°I tried to call you on the ansible, you know.¡±

    Yan looked up at him. ¡°No one told me you did.¡±

    ¡°Of course not. Your minder, Ms. Maedes, would not let you answer the call.¡± He tilted his head to the side. ¡°She claimed that I would be too difficult to speak to, considering what a fragile state the two of you were in. I¡¯m grateful that I¡¯m now allowed to speak to my apprentices without the fear of ruining their health¡ª or should I still be worried?¡±

    Yan¡¯s hands curled into fists, though it was to dig her nails into her palm, rather than tensing to strike¡ª she wasn¡¯t really that type. ¡°No,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°And you, Sid?¡± Aymon asked.

    ¡°Brilliant,¡± Sid said.

    ¡°Good.¡±

    The silence was very strained. ¡°How was your trip to the front?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I enjoyed it almost as little as you enjoyed your trip to Olar.¡± Aymon turned his head to look out the window at the cold vista of the city. ¡°I think I prefer the heat of Tyx to the cold of this place, but it¡¯s not like that was a redeeming quality of the planet of any sort. Kino had her own brush with danger¡ª she broke her arm.¡±

    Yan¡¯s eyes widened further. ¡°Is she alright? Where is she?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s on the  First Star , with Halen. You¡¯ll see her tonight.¡±

    Yan nodded and relaxed¡ª giving her someone else to focus on, that seemed to be the key. ¡°What happened?¡± she asked.

    ¡°She will be happy to tell you her story¡ª it¡¯s not mine to tell,¡± Aymon said. He paused, then tried to modulate his tone. ¡°Her being injured under my watch made it easier for me to speak with her about it,¡± he admitted. ¡°I¡¯m afraid that you and I are not so lucky, since we¡¯ve been so far apart.¡±

    Sid laughed. ¡°What even is there to talk about?¡±

    Aymon spread his hands. ¡°Whatever you like.¡±

    Yan shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ¡°There¡¯s not really much to say,¡± she said. ¡°It doesn¡¯t really matter what you think about it, because it¡¯s done. I know you said in your letter that you were proud, but¡­¡± She trailed off. ¡°You don¡¯t have any stake in it, aside from in us. So you probably wouldn¡¯t feel anything other than that, unless we had done something you thought was wrong. So there isn¡¯t anything you need to tell us, if that¡¯s the way you feel. It¡¯s all just something we have to deal with ourselves.¡± The length of this explanation suggested that Yan had spent a while thinking about or even rehearsing it beforehand.

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± he said. She seemed surprised that he agreed with her. ¡°I think you did well. I think on the way home, I would like to spend some time going over the situation in detail, to make sure that in the future, you¡¯ll have a better understanding of decision making when you¡¯re in a situation like that, but I do think you performed well. I couldn¡¯t have asked for anything more from you, even if I had been there.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. Her voice was strained.

    ¡°And you, Sid, do you have anything you want to say?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± He was still looking out the window.

    Aymon let the silence stretch on for a second. ¡°There will be other situations like this,¡± he said. ¡°Not this exact one, but similar. This job, as my apprentice or as my successor, will require you to make difficult choices.¡± He looked between the two of them. ¡°I won¡¯t ask you to tell me if you will be able to make those choices in the future, because there¡¯s no way to answer that question honestly. If I had asked you two months ago if you would have been able to do what you did for the  Sky Boat , I don¡¯t think you could have predicted your behavior. Or, even if you had, you wouldn¡¯t be able to predict why you did things in the moment, or how you would feel afterwards.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t think I really understood that, when I took this position, but I do now. I can¡¯t go back to not understanding it.¡± Her face twisted, and she unclenched her fist to rub at the corner of her eye, though no tears came out. She seemed resigned to having no tears left to cry, and was performing the gesture out of habit.

    ¡°Good,¡± Aymon said. He let Yan finish rubbing at her face, wondering if there was anything Sid would like to contribute to the conversation, but he seemed disinclined to speak. ¡°If there¡¯s no more about that to discuss, at least for now, I should ask how the business of this trip has been going. I¡¯ve read all the reports, but I would like to hear it from you.¡±

    This made Yan glance over at Sid, worry on her face. ¡°The Olar government hasn¡¯t budged,¡± Yan said. ¡°But we made a threat, so you have to decide if you¡¯re going to follow through on it.¡±

    Aymon¡¯s gaze switched to Sid, who was ignoring the fact that Yan was trying to shield him from taking all the blame for making an ultimatum on Olar. Aymon knew exactly who had made that call, though. Even if no one had been in the room when Sid made his threats, Yan reported it to Maedes afterwards, which meant that it ended up in the daily reports sent to Aymon. ¡°If you make a threat, you are obligated to follow through on it. I will appoint an Imperial Advisor to Olar, and strip Governor Cresas of his power. I would have preferred not to do that, but I will not set the precedent of immediately subverting your authority. To do so would be dangerous for the future of the Empire, and have consequences far beyond Olar.¡±

    Yan nodded, clearly relieved.

    ¡°What I would like to know, however,¡± Aymon began again, ¡°is why, exactly, you felt it necessary to go that far. I think I was perfectly clear that in this situation, you were to act as my emissaries, and resolve the issue with minimal further disruption to Olar. This was supposed to be an easy task. You are well aware of the way that I prefer to deal with internal issues, and it annoys me that you decided that your first act, when granted any degree of freedom, was one which spits in the face of my established policy.¡± Yan looked nervous again, and Sid still resolutely said nothing. ¡°It makes it very difficult for me to trust you,¡± Aymon concluded after a long, painful silence.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said. ¡°I knew you wouldn¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°The only responsibility that you have is in failing to stop it,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Which is certainly a responsibility, but not as much as Sid¡¯s, for doing it. I would like to hear an explanation for choosing this path in particular.¡±

    Yan opened her mouth. ¡°He was¡ª¡±

    ¡°Do not defend him, please.¡±

    Sid leaned back in his seat, and crossed his arms over his chest. ¡°Are you going to kick me out?¡±

    Aymon narrowed his eyes. ¡°I would hope that I have not given that impression. I am not that fickle, or fickle at all. You are my apprentice, and you will remain that way. But if I cannot trust you, then I may have to change the way I treat you. If you cannot adequately explain yourself, then you will face the consequence of your decision.¡±

    ¡°What are you going to do to me?¡± He didn¡¯t sound concerned in the least.

    ¡°I¡¯ll decide when we return to Emerri, if I have not had a more productive conversation with you on the journey that would make it unnecessary.¡±

    Sid shrugged and looked away again.

    ¡°Very well,¡± Aymon said. This conversation was going nowhere with Sid, and that was stressing Yan out¡ª she wore the tension in her body like a cloak, her arms held tight at strange angles, like she was trying to refrain from grabbing Sid. He would have to speak to her alone, later, but Sid¡ª he would probably wait for Sid to approach him. Halen had been right that Sid had the ability to get on Aymon¡¯s nerves, and this stony silence was doing the trick, even if it wasn¡¯t what Aymon would have originally expected from Sid. Aymon glanced at his watch. ¡°You both should get ready to leave Olar. If there¡¯s anything remaining that you need to¡ª¡±

    Yan was already shaking her head.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to say goodbye to your uncle?¡± Aymon was surprised. ¡°He doesn¡¯t need to be at my meeting with Apprentice Olms.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already spoken with him,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Very well. We¡¯ll be leaving Olar as soon as I am done here. If Governor Cresas bows his head, I¡¯ll speak to him, if not, we will leave directly after I have reassured Apprentice Olms about my plans for the planet.¡±

    ¡°Can I ask a question?¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°Who are you going to appoint as the Imperial Advisor?¡±

    This question, though it was a sensible one to ask, made Aymon think back to his own apprenticeship. His master, in a similar situation, had not trusted anyone to deal with a recalcitrant planetary government aside from her own apprentices, and she had temporarily appointed one of Aymon¡¯s cohort, Jalena, to the role of Imperial Advisor. That had led to Jalena¡¯s death. There was a dark part of Aymon¡¯s mind that wanted to appoint Sid, as a consequence for his actions, but he decided against it. ¡°For the moment, it will be the Fleet commander on the planet. Once on Emerri, I will make a more permanent choice.¡±

    Yan nodded.

    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Why do you ask?¡±

    ¡°I just wanted to know if it was someone that the Guild would object to.¡±

    ¡°I suspect my permanent choice will be someone relatively new to political life,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I¡¯ll want to pick someone who isn¡¯t an Olar native, but who does come from a similar small planet, ideally someone who has worked with the Guild in the past¡ª It doesn¡¯t matter now, I don¡¯t have a list of candidates in mind. But it won¡¯t be anyone the Guild can find fault with, and they won¡¯t find fault with the Fleet being given authority, either, at least temporarily.¡±

    ¡°Will that person have orders investigate the Olar government?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Quietly,¡± Aymon said. He glanced at Sid. ¡°Corruption can be dealt within ways that do not involve flashy threats and public tribunals.¡±

    Sid stared back at him and said nothing. The conversation was over with that, so Aymon stood. Yan followed him up, and Sid followed her, much more slowly. Aymon held out his hands, and touched Yan and Sid¡¯s arms. It was as gentle as he could allow himself to be, and probably as gentle as Sid, at least, would accept. He had been the same way, as an apprentice, so found this difficult to begrudge.

    ¡°I am proud of you,¡± he said. ¡°And I¡¯m glad to be returning to Emerri with you. We¡¯ll have more time to talk later.¡±

    Yan¡¯s wide eyes glittered, and she nodded as Aymon withdrew his hand. Aymon gave a final look at them both: Yan following him with her eyes, asking silently for whatever he could give, even though she had told him not to give it; and Sid keeping his mouth pinched shut and all other expression off his face, not looking into Aymon¡¯s eyes at all. Aymon turned away and strode out the door.

    As he left, as soon as the door closed, he reached out with his power, just quickly enough to sense Yan turning towards Sid and making a few angry signs at him¡ª Aymon still couldn¡¯t understand the language, but the tension in Yan¡¯s movements was enough to express enough of what she meant. Yan felt his power brush over her, though, and cut herself off and turned to look at the closed door. Aymon dropped his power and headed away.

    <hr>

    Aymon met Yuuni Olms in the Guild offices on Olar. They were well maintained but small, and the meeting room had no trace of luxury in it, aside from the coffee that he was served, which was of a very expensive imported variety. He sat across a wide plastic table from Olms, without any of the Guild delegates in the room. His reports had warned him that some of the company that Olms had brought had a particularly antagonistic bent, and since Aymon was here on an appeasement duty, he had no desire to interact with people who were not interested in being appeased.

    They had been discussing Aymon¡¯s planned position towards the planet for a while, and Aymon was growing ready to directly ask Olms if his stomping on Olar¡¯s government would be sufficient, or if the Guild was going to make extra demands of the Imperial government. Thanks to Sid¡¯s actions, the Imperial government was already going far out of its way to help the Guild, so Aymon would not be pleased if Olms tried to press the advantage. Her reluctance to say immediately if she was going to be satisfied was not unusual, but he would like the courtesy of a direct answer to a direct question.

    ¡°Of course, First Sandreas,¡± she said, ¡°as soon as we have received assurance that our ships will be safe in the system, we will be very happy to begin trade with the planet again. My captains lose money the longer this goes on¡ª it isn¡¯t just Olar¡¯s problem, it¡¯s also ours. I¡¯m not eager to see any ship in the Guild suffer, even if it is only through a loss of profit, rather than through piracy.¡±

    ¡°The staffing changes will be completed quickly,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I trust that will be to the Guild¡¯s satisfaction.¡±

    ¡°It will take some time for those changes to bear fruit,¡± Olms said. ¡°Without physical protections provided by the planet, at least in these early days, I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s enough.¡±

    ¡°I am not going to put a Fleet ship in system,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Nor will I make any decisions about Olar¡¯s resources now, especially as the system is so strained financially due to your blockade. You will have to petition the Imperial Advisor to provide escort ships, if you truly need them. It¡¯s not outside the realm of possibility, but I do want to leave as much control of Olar on Olar as possible, and not puppet it from Emerri.¡±

    ¡°You have a different view than your apprentices.¡±

    ¡°They will learn quickly enough,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I can do a lot, but I cannot make every decision for every planet in the Empire. Nor would I want to. Trying to do so would only result in losing control of the important issues. You understand, of course, Apprentice Olms.¡±

    ¡°You are very flattering, but I don¡¯t think there¡¯s any need for you to flatter me.¡±

    Aymon laughed. He liked Olms, unlike Guildmaster Vaneik. ¡°A pity. If flattery will get me nowhere, let me ask directly: will the Guild return to trading with Olar, as things stand now?¡±

    ¡°Will you investigate the corruption on the planet?¡± Olms asked. ¡°There¡¯s a reason Governor Cresas chose to dissolve the government rather than submit to an investigation. Either he¡¯s worried about a tribunal, or he¡¯s worried that someone who is  worried will kill him before the tribunal gets a chance to investigate.¡± Although it hadn¡¯t been an answer to his question, this was direct enough to feel like a satisfying direction for the conversation.

    ¡°I think you understand that sometimes things can be handled quietly. Again, I don¡¯t want to have riots in the streets on my hands, or on the hands of the Imperial Advisor I appoint. The people of Olar will be happy to have imported goods and money coming in again, but if that happiness is soured by a long and drawn out series of arrests, trials, sentences¡ª¡± Aymon waved his hand. ¡°If there is blame to be assigned, you may rest assured that it will be investigated and taken care of. Quietly.¡±

    Olms pursed her lips. ¡°If nothing ever comes to light, how can I be assured that the Guild¡¯s ships are not being put in danger by people who have escaped your quiet justice?¡±

    ¡°How could you be assured that everyone would be caught in a public spectacle?¡±

    ¡°It would at least serve as discouragement.¡±

    ¡°Do you think that a black market that exists and functions without announcing itself to the public would not be sufficiently discouraged by an equally quiet investigation?¡±

    ¡°May I say something, First Sandreas?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°For a man with the ultimate power in this galaxy, you are very judicious about exercising it openly. You would have allowed Governor Creasas to keep his elected power if your apprentices hadn¡¯t already said otherwise¡ª even if your refusal to do so would have annoyed¡ª¡±

    ¡°You?¡± Aymon asked, eyebrows twitching in amusement.

    ¡°I¡¯m lucky to speak for the Guild, in this matter,¡± Olms finished. ¡°Unfortunately, as many would tell you, I am easily annoyed.¡±

    ¡°So am I, Apprentice.¡± Aymon smiled, genuine for once. Apprentice Olms seemed relieved that she hadn¡¯t annoyed him by speaking her mind. She sipped her coffee and waited for Aymon to respond.

    ¡°You weren¡¯t alive when I was an apprentice,¡± he said. ¡°So you wouldn¡¯t remember the troubles of that time. Your master does, though, and you should ask him about it.

    ¡°A failed, attempted coup looks very dry on paper, but to me, it was¡­ flesh and blood. I learned some lessons from it¡ª I don¡¯t know if they were the lessons that I should have learned, but they¡¯ve served me well enough.

    ¡°The Empire is not a solid object: it¡¯s systems in balance. And many of those systems rely on everyone¡¯s willingness to play a part. No matter how much power I wield, I am still just one man. That¡¯s dangerous, if I give people a reason to want to play a different role than the ones I want them to have.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Olms said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were so afraid of coups.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Aymon said bluntly. ¡°I would be able to deal with one if it came, and, now that I have apprentices, if the worst were to happen, I am confident that¡ª even as inexperienced as they are¡ª they would be able to succeed me as I succeeded my master. But stability is important for its own sake.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m curious¡ª why do you think I should ask Ugarti about your apprenticeship?¡±

    Aymon laughed. ¡°Because you are in the same position that I was, decades ago. You¡¯ve caught me¡ª asking him would only annoy him.¡±

    Olms silently raised her eyebrows.

    ¡°The attempted coup¡¯s intent was to put my master¡¯s daughter, who was not a sensitive, in charge of the Empire. She would have been a puppet if the plan had succeeded, but that didn¡¯t really matter. Many, many people thought that my master would want her daughter to inherit her position, rather than allowing one of her apprentices to take her place. I admit, I had thought that myself, at times.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Olms said. ¡°It¡¯s not quite the same. Ungarti isn¡¯t a sensitive, and there is no law in the Guild¡¯s charter that even requires him to take apprentices. And the position of Guildmaster is elected, anyway.¡±

    ¡°The position of Guildmaster is elected¡ª to a degree. You know that whoever Guildmaster Vaneik supports will get the position. And everyone knows it will be his son.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Olms said. She kept all her personal feelings out of her voice. ¡°I do know.¡±

    He almost pitied her. ¡°It¡¯s a shame that I wasn¡¯t looking for apprentices a few years ago. I would have taken you for myself.¡±

    ¡°I doubt I would have accepted the position,¡± Olms said. ¡°I have no intention of trying to straddle two worlds as your current spacer apprentice is trying to do.¡±

    ¡°Indulge me in my curiosity: if you had not been offered an apprenticeship with Guildmaster Vaneik, what would you have done?¡±

    ¡°Gone back to my father¡¯s ship,¡± Olms said bluntly. ¡°I have a home on the  Neutron Star , and I will be her captain someday, if I do not get a ship of my own first. That¡¯s where I will go as soon as Ungarti announces his retirement. I¡¯m grateful for the opportunity to walkabout with him, but I understand the world I live in.¡±

    ¡°Does your fellow apprentice feel the same?¡±

    Olms¡¯s face twitched, but she stifled whatever emotion her expression had contained. Aymon wished that Halen had been here to tell him what it meant. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t presume to speak for Nomar,¡± she said. ¡°You¡¯ll have to ask him yourself, next time you see him.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Aymon said. He looked at her steadily. ¡°I understand that you and Apprentice Thule have been acting as personal tasters for Guildmaster Vaneik.¡±

    That did cause Olms to put on a chagrined expression. ¡°Apprentice BarCarran told you that?¡±

    ¡°Word gets around,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I¡¯m just surprised that you feel it¡¯s necessary.¡±

    ¡°I hope it isn¡¯t necessary,¡± Olms said. ¡°But I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m a paranoid person, and there have been too many troublesome things happening recently.¡±

    Aymon hummed in slight agreement, then had a thought. ¡°And does Guildmaster Vaneik know that you¡¯re performing this service for him?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s not your business, First Sandreas.¡±

    That was a no, then. He smirked at her. ¡°Of course, Apprentice.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m very grateful to Ungarti for treating me like a spacer,¡± she said.

    ¡°Do you ever miss the company of other sensitives?¡±

    ¡°Other than Nomar?¡±

    Aymon just smiled.

    ¡°If you¡¯re trying to get me to change my mind about returning to my father¡¯s ship when my apprenticeship is over, I¡¯m afraid you¡¯ll have to be more direct than speaking in suggestions. And I¡¯m also afraid that the answer will remain no.¡±

    ¡°A pity. There could be plenty for you to do in my employ.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t become an agent of the Imperial government yet, no matter what some people think. I don¡¯t think that¡¯s likely to change any time soon.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate your candor, Apprentice Olms.¡±

    ¡°And I, yours.¡± She paused. ¡°The Guild will resume trade with Olar, as soon as all of your staffing changes are in place, or at least moving. Before the end of next month, but almost certainly sooner. Your people tend to move quickly when there¡¯s something to get done.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I am very grateful that we will be able to put this problem behind us.¡±

    ¡°Are you leaving Olar soon?¡±

    ¡°Tonight,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be away from Emerri for too long, and I think my apprentices are all eager to return home.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a shame that I won¡¯t get to see them again before you leave.¡±

    ¡°There will be plenty of opportunities in the future,¡± Aymon said. ¡°You¡¯re no stranger to Emerri, and Guildmaster Vaneik is there often enough.¡± He paused. ¡°May I ask you a question that I hope will remain between us?¡±

    ¡°Please.¡±

    ¡°My apprentice Yan¡ª is her relationship with the Guild completely ruined?¡±

    ¡°I like Apprentice BarCarran very much,¡± Olms said. There was some hesitancy in her voice. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be indelicate.¡±

    ¡°I prefer honesty, in whatever form that comes.¡±

    ¡°I think she will do better if she presents herself only as Apprentice BarCarran, and not as a spacer. At least for a while. I know that it¡¯s obvious where she comes from just from looking at her,¡± ¡ª Olms gestured to her own body; she was approximately the same height as Yan, and of a similar long-limbed build¡ª ¡°but if she stays away from the Guild, and does not involve herself in Guild politics for a while, it would be more pleasant for everyone. Give people time to forget, if not forgive.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I find the whole drama a little hard to understand,¡± Aymon said. ¡°I think she did an admirable job in rescuing the  Sky Boat .¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡ª a spacer thing,¡± Olms said. ¡°If you abandon ship, usually, you¡¯re dead. The only people who ever abandon ship aren¡¯t spacers¡ª they¡¯re passengers who think that somebody, somewhere is going to rescue them. Nobody is, of course. If your ship gets taken by pirates, and you¡¯re in a shuttle by yourself¡­¡± Olms¡¯s face twisted in an ugly expression. ¡°You don¡¯t live for very long. Anyway, it¡¯s all¡­ I agree that your apprentices did well in helping the  Sky Boat.  But other people understand it as a betrayal. I can¡¯t fault them for that. It¡¯s just the way we live.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°She understands it, too. I think she knows that she has to stay away from us for a while. A year or two.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have to speak with her about it,¡± Aymon said. ¡°Thank you for explaining. I doubt anyone else would have given me a complete answer.¡±

    ¡°Not even your pirate?¡± Olms asked bluntly. ¡°I believe the custom is the same.¡±

    ¡°If he were to talk about leaving his family¡¯s ship, he would talk about it with Yan, rather than with me,¡± Aymon said flatly. ¡°I don¡¯t understand things like that on the same level. It¡¯s just words to me.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡± Olms said. ¡°Before you go, First Sandreas¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Apprentice BarCarran¡¯s uncle, Maxes BarCarran, would like to speak with you, if you have a moment.¡±

    ¡°Of course. I¡¯m happy to speak with Yan¡¯s family.¡±

    He shook Olms¡¯s hand and said his goodbyes to her, and when she left the room, another spacer walked in. He looked similar to Yan¡ª the same stretched-out build, the same low-cheekboned face and brown skin, but he was taller, and wore his hair in long braids with little beads at the ends. He didn¡¯t smile, and his tone was too even when he greeted Aymon.

    ¡°It¡¯s an honor to meet you, First Sandreas. I won¡¯t take up too much of your time.¡±

    ¡°The honor is mine,¡± Aymon replied. ¡°I¡¯m pleased to have the opportunity meet any of Yan¡¯s family.¡± They shook hands and sat back down at the table, Maxes taking the spot that Olms had just vacated.

    ¡°I¡¯m a poor representative for the  Iron Dreams  as a whole,¡± Maxes said. ¡°Ideally, it would be Captain Pellon here.¡±

    ¡°But you¡¯re here for Yan, not really to represent the ship.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Maxes said. ¡°Apprentice Olms was gracious enough to allow me to join her party, to come see her.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that this has not been the untroubled reunion you had hoped for.¡±

    Maxes was hesitant. ¡°I don¡¯t think that there could be an untroubled reunion. But there certainly could have been better ones.¡±

    ¡°Why do you say that?¡±

    ¡°She has a changed station in the world,¡± Maxes said. This was a very cautious answer. ¡°She¡¯s living a life I had never imagined for her, and can¡¯t really comprehend now.¡±

    ¡°It must be a difficult situation for you. But I would never want to stand in between you and Yan. You¡¯re welcome to visit her on Emerri at any time.¡±

    ¡°Your other apprentices, do their families come to see them?¡±

    ¡°Sid¡¯s family has not yet, but I believe they can¡¯t exactly get away from their family farm for a month at a time. I¡¯m sure that they will pay us a visit sooner, rather than later. And Kino only has a sister, and she¡¯s quite young. You and your family are much more able to travel than Kino or Sid¡¯s family¡ª you¡¯re lucky.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Maxes said. ¡°I do believe we are. I¡¯ve been able to see Yan a lot over the years. It¡¯s a luxury not many families of sensitives have.¡±

    Aymon smiled thinly. ¡°Yes, that is the unfortunate thing about the Academy and apprenticeships. But there¡¯s not really a better way to do things.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you all need to be among your own kind. I understand. I don¡¯t begrudge you that. I just think it was difficult for Yan to really understand leaving her family at such a young age.¡±

    ¡°This was right after she had lost her mother, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°No, that was a few years beforehand. But¡­¡± Maxes shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m sure that didn¡¯t help.¡± He laughed. ¡°I¡¯m sure I was a poor replacement for her mother, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Yan has always spoken very highly of you.¡±

    ¡°Well, she would. She¡¯s a kind girl.¡±

    ¡°Very much so.¡±

    ¡°I would like to be direct with you, First Sandreas.¡±

    ¡°Please do. I owe you that much, having had Yan entrusted to me.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a grown woman, and it was her decision to take your apprenticeship.¡±

    ¡°Even if it was not you and your family who entrusted her to me, certainly it was God.¡± There was a moment of silence. ¡°What was it you wanted to say to me?¡±

    ¡°I would like for you to promise to keep her safe.¡±

    Aymon raised his right hand to his heart immediately. ¡°May God let me wander forever among the broken and the lost if I ever abandon my duty towards Yan¡¯s safety.¡±

    ¡°Very keenly worded.¡±

    ¡°There are no other honest promises I could make to you, Mr. BarCarran.¡±

    ¡°Just Maxes,¡± he said.

    ¡°Maxes, then,¡± Aymon replied. ¡°My own master would have swum across the widest ocean on Emerri if it would have meant saving the lives of the other two apprentices I came up with¡ª Obra and Jalena. But that isn¡¯t always possible. This is dangerous work, sometimes. And I promise I will do my best towards Yan, in every way I can. But I am not God, and so I can only do what a man can, even a man with as many resources as I have.¡±

    ¡°I understand.¡±

    ¡°Was that all you wanted to ask me?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Maxes said. He looked Aymon in the eye. ¡°If she does ever grow tired of this apprenticeship, will you release her from it?¡±

    Aymon was quiet for a second. ¡°And send her home to you?¡± When Maxes didn¡¯t answer, Aymon added, ¡°Do you really expect that she will grow tired of this life?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Maxes said. ¡°But forgive me for saying that there is a part of me that hopes she will. I don¡¯t want to see her¡ª¡±

    ¡°Become someone like myself?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what Yan will become,¡± Maxes said. ¡°But I don¡¯t want her to be unhappy.¡±

    ¡°That might be unavoidable. This is often a painful job,¡± Aymon said. But he held his hand to his heart again. ¡°If Yan ever asks to leave, I will let her go.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a credit to you that you care so much about her, and that you raised such a fine woman.¡±

    ¡°It would be nice to think so,¡± he said, and stood. ¡°I won¡¯t take up any more of your time.¡±

    ¡°Please understand that I have no desire to stand between you and Yan,¡± Aymon said as he stood.

    Maxes smiled. ¡°Desire, no. But it¡¯s the way of the world.¡± He held out his hand to Aymon. ¡°It was an honor, First Sandreas.¡±

    Aymon took his hand. ¡°We have a shared interest in Yan¡¯s happiness,¡± he said. ¡°I think that we can find a way to understand each other¡¯s lives. Come to Emerri some time.¡±

    ¡°Yan wouldn¡¯t want me to visit.¡±

    ¡°She will,¡± Aymon said.

 All of Us Pirates Would have Been Martyrs - Part Two

    All of Us Pirates Would Have Been Martyrs - Part Two

    ¡°You ever flown a little ship like this?¡± Iri asked Yan as they clambered aboard the small passenger shuttle that would take them away from Olar and up towards the  First Star , waiting in orbit. It had been cold and windy as they crossed the tarmac and climbed the shivering metal stairs into the shuttle, but inside it was dark and cozy, and Yan felt something inside her relax. Despite everything, these cramped interiors, with the cockpit full of blinking lights, and the heavy acceleration seats, and the ultra-economical use of storage space still felt homey to her.

    ¡°In open space, I have,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯ve never taken one down into the atmosphere except in simulators. Captain Pellon probably would have let me, except that you need a license to operate near planets, and I never had the time to take the tests.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m well aware that you need a license,¡± Iri said with a laugh. ¡°That¡¯s not an easy test to pass.¡±

    Yan raised her eyebrows, but there was no more time to chat, because they had to shuffle through the narrow walking space and take their seats. Sandreas had finished speaking to the pilot and was climbing up the stairs. Sid and his minder were already in their seats, signing something to each other that Yan didn¡¯t catch as she walked by. Out the window of the shuttle, Yan saw another larger vehicle, further down the tarmac, which was boarding the remainder of their party.

    Yan sat down and buckled her seat. Sandreas ended up directly across from her, so that they could speak. He gave an annoyed glance at Iri, who moved away to sit with Sid and Hernan.

    Sandreas didn¡¯t say anything for a while as they waited to take off, closing his eyes and steepling his fingers, maybe meditating. Yan stretched out her power so that she could eavesdrop on what the pilots in the cockpit were doing, ¡®listening¡¯ to them perform the pre-flight checklist and make calls to the tower. It was exhausting to interpret the signals the power sent her¡ª the puff-changes of pressure in the air that meant someone was speaking. She knew how to filter it through a simulacra of her own senses in order to make any sense of it at all, gaining an extra, ghostly perception, but every time she did, she realized anew just why Sid relied on his glasses, rather than using the power to listen to any conversations.

    All the chatter in the cockpit and over the radio was mundane, but she was still so absorbed in listening and watching that she didn¡¯t realize Sandreas was trying to get her attention until he reached out to tap her on her knee. Yan jumped in surprise and felt embarrassed. Sandreas didn¡¯t comment on her startle, just offered her a thin smile.

    ¡°Are you excited to see the  First Star ?¡± Sandreas asked.

    Truthfully, Yan had barely even thought about it. She struggled to find something to say that wasn¡¯t a lie. ¡°It¡¯s a lot faster than a regular ship, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°I believe that¡¯s only because it¡¯s smaller,¡± Sandreas replied. ¡°But you¡¯d have to ask Halen to confirm that¡¯s the case. It doesn¡¯t ever have to carry cargo aside from myself.¡±

    Yan nodded. ¡°That¡¯s useful. Pirate ships are smaller, too, aren¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°Most of them, I¡¯m told.¡± Sandreas studied her. ¡°You know, Halen built the  First Star ¡¯s drive.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Yan said. ¡°I guess that makes sense.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll show it to you, if you want to see it.¡±

    Yan shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s alright. I don¡¯t want him to think I¡¯m getting any bad ideas.¡±

    Sandreas laughed. ¡°I doubt he would think that. He showed it to Kino. I think he¡¯s a little proud of it¡ª it¡¯s his baby, in a way.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think Kino would have that much temptation to try to build her own.¡±

    ¡°And you think you would? Under what circumstances?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°If you left this apprenticeship¡­¡± Sandreas said.

    Yan looked up sharply, alarmed.

    ¡°I spoke with your uncle,¡± Sandreas said.

    It was at this point that the announcement came from the shuttle¡¯s pilot that they were cleared to take off, and, with a jolt, they started taxiing down towards the runway. Yan didn¡¯t say anything until the shuttle had accelerated and leapt into the air. The ascent was quite steep, to clear the mountains, and Yan watched the city fall down below the view of the tiny window. They would still need to gain a lot of altitude before the shuttle¡¯s much heavier second engines could kick in and send them up into orbit.

    ¡°I did think he might want to talk to you,¡± Yan said. She was still looking out the window, at the strings of clouds that they were passing through. The pilot was skilled, but it was a windy day, and they kept hitting jolts of turbulence that rocked her in her seat. Sandreas was unfazed by the bouncing of the shuttle, and kept his eyes trained on Yan, his posture relaxed. ¡°I hope he didn¡¯t say anything to offend you.¡±

    ¡°No, of course not. I wouldn¡¯t do well in this job if I wasn¡¯t immune to spacer frankness.¡± When Yan didn¡¯t ask what it was that Maxes had said, Sandreas continued. ¡°He made me make some promises, though.¡±

    The heat rose to Yan¡¯s cheeks. It was unfortunate that she was trapped in this shuttle, in this seat, unable to escape this conversation. ¡°What did he ask you for?¡±

    ¡°He wanted me to promise that if you ever wanted to leave this apprenticeship, I would let you go.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t know why he made you promise that.¡±

    ¡°If I had a family who loved me half as much as yours does, I would be a very different person,¡± Sandreas said flatly. ¡°Regardless, I did promise him, and I will be equally frank with you. If there comes a time when you no longer wish to be my apprentice, you do not have to stay.¡±

    ¡°Where would I go?¡±

    ¡°I could not possibly answer that question for you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave, though,¡± Yan said. ¡°I chose this. And now it¡¯s too late to¡­ I can¡¯t go back to being someone who hasn¡¯t been your apprentice.¡±

    Sandreas nodded. ¡°I¡¯m glad you don¡¯t want to leave. It would be a shame to lose you.¡±

    Yan bit her lip and looked back out the window. ¡°I hope I don¡¯t disappoint you.¡±

    ¡°I do not think you will.¡± Sandreas fell silent for a while. The shuttle was rising higher and higher, and the curve of the planet was visible, all blanketed in white clouds. The space elevator was a spiderweb thread in the distance, reaching far up out of sight, tying the planet to heaven.

    ¡°I wanted to ask you,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°How is Sid doing?¡±

    Before she answered, Yan briefly flicked out her power to investigate Sid in the seat up ahead. He had his glasses tucked into the collar of his cassock, and his eyes were closed, arms crossed over his chest.

    ¡°He¡¯s fine,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about earlier.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing worse than I¡¯ve come to expect from him,¡± Sandreas said, waving his hand dismissively. ¡°I¡¯m sure it will take some time for him to warm back up to me again.¡±

    ¡°He really wants to do well as your apprentice,¡± Yan said. ¡°I think he¡¯s very worried that you don¡¯t think he¡¯s good enough.¡±

    Sandreas raised an eyebrow. ¡°And do you think I give that impression?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not happy with him now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m quite pleased with him, actually. I like the way you both worked together, and I think he had an astute reading of the political situation on Olar, even if he didn¡¯t resolve it in the way that I would have preferred. I like that he took initiative.¡±

    ¡°You should tell him that.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll have to speak to me himself before I can,¡± Sandreas pointed out.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell him to.¡±

    ¡°No, don¡¯t bother. It will be a few days on the  First Star  before we get home. I imagine there will be plenty of time for him to come to his senses.¡±

    ¡°I hope so.¡±

    ¡°Once we get back to Emerri, we will be back to work. You both have to be up for it.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Sandreas paused. ¡°One other question I¡¯ve been meaning to ask: why is he wearing that stupid hat indoors?¡±

    Yan couldn¡¯t suppress her grimace. ¡°You¡¯re going to kill him for that.¡±

    <hr>

    The  First Star  was indeed a small ship. Unlike Guild ships, which were often oddly shaped, the  First Star  was perfectly round, like a tiny bauble hanging in space, glistening under its own running lights. Guild ships also had pitted rock surfaces that they inherited from the mined-out asteroids that they were built from, but this ship¡¯s rock walls were unnaturally, mechanically smooth. Its single rotating ring was also built inside the rock, to give it an extra layer of protection, unlike Guild ships, where the multiple rotating rings banded them from the outside. It still bristled with the usual array of sensors, and its bay doors opened in the familiar camera-aperture way to let in the shuttles, but it was a very strange looking vessel to Yan¡¯s eyes. There probably wasn¡¯t another like it in the whole universe. Even Guildmaster Vaneik¡¯s ship, which he used for his personal travel, was still a cargo vessel at heart, and not one man¡¯s personal cruiser.

    Yan wondered how many crew this ship would even need to operate. Certainly not the more than a hundred family members and assorted contracted spacers who called the  Iron Dreams  their home. Sandreas left the shuttle immediately after it finished docking, which left Iri to give Yan and Sid a quick tour.

    The  First Star  was bright and clean inside, with decor that clearly suited Sandreas¡¯s somewhat austere taste. It was not like there was a family constantly living here and making their marks on the walls¡ª no worn floors or scratched walls, or electrical panels that someone had pulled open to do maintenance on. It wasn¡¯t trying to disguise the fact that it was a ship, but it did announce its differences quietly. The gravity ring was running at a full standard gravity, which, to Yan, made the gently sloping corridors feel twice as long as they actually were, since she couldn¡¯t bounce her way down them like she would have on any other vessel.

    She and Sid had their own bedrooms, and while Sid wanted to cloister himself inside his as soon as they were shown which ones were assigned to them, Yan grabbed his arm and stopped him. ¡°We should say hi to Kino,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Why?¡± Sid asked.

    Yan just glared at him, and he rolled his eyes and let himself be led along. Kino was in one of the ship¡¯s several lounges, sitting on a couch with her knees pulled up to her chest, eating potato chips and paging through some document on her tablet. She wasn¡¯t wearing her cassock, just a tee shirt and shorts, and neither was she wearing shoes or socks. She looked up at Yan and Sid as they entered.

    ¡°Sandreas lets you walk around his ship undressed like that?¡± Sid asked, then flopped down on the couch across from her.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t snow in space,¡± Kino said, pointing at Sid¡¯s knitted hat, which he was still wearing. When she moved her arm, it revealed a mass of ugly but healing bruises that made Yan wince. She sat down next to Kino, who shifted to give her room on the couch.

    ¡°I heard you broke your arm,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±

    ¡°Did you miss us?¡± Sid asked.

    Kino shrugged. Sid pulled off his hat and threw it at her. She didn¡¯t react at all, and it hit her knee then fell to the floor. She did look at Sid¡¯s tattoo, but she made no comment.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad to see you again,¡± Yan said. Clearly, Sid¡¯s abrasiveness was going to extend to more than just Sandreas. It was annoying¡ª all the camaraderie and trust that she had with Sid seemed to be spiraling down the drain, now that they were back in the company of other people. He was harmless, but it didn¡¯t make communicating any easier.

    Kino nodded at that. She put her tablet down on the side table and wrapped her arms around her knees. Yan noticed that she was sweating, although the room they were in was quite cool. ¡°Are you feeling well, Kino?¡±

    ¡°Sandreas took away my vena,¡± she said.

    Involuntarily, Yan¡¯s eyes went to Sid, and his hand ghosted over the pocket of his cassock, where his small stash was hiding. ¡°Why?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°He was always going to.¡±

    ¡°That was obvious to anyone with eyes,¡± Sid said. ¡°Why now, though?¡±

    ¡°Because I took too much, when we were at the front,¡± Kino said. ¡°Halen said it ruined my situational awareness.¡± She spoke everything in her usual, flat tone. She could have been reading a grocery list. Kino¡¯s simple honesty never ceased to amaze Yan¡ª she would directly answer questions that Yan would have done anything to squirm away from, if their roles had been reversed. She never seemed to be self conscious about any of it.

    ¡°Really? You always seemed to be, um, aware to me,¡± Yan said.

    Kino gave her a look. ¡°I usually took it at night, to sleep. On Tyx, I had to take it during the day. Halen thinks that put me in danger.¡±

    Yan forced herself not to look at Sid, who was very pointedly remaining silent. ¡°Why were you taking it during the day, then?¡± She looked at Kino¡¯s arm, instead. ¡°Especially if it did¡­ make you get hurt.¡±

    Kino just shook her head.

    This, for some reason, made Sid angry. He leaned forward and said bitterly, ¡°The front was that bad, hunh?¡±

    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said, voice still flat.

    ¡°Then what the fuck are you gonna do next time you go there, and you don¡¯t have vena to use?¡±

    ¡°Sid!¡± Yan said, alarmed.

    Kino closed her eyes. Her fingernails dug into her knees. Usually, Yan remembered, she would ripping the buttons off her cassock sleeves, but she wasn¡¯t wearing her cassock now. Yan noticed places on her kneecaps now where she had scratched in the past hard enough to leave a light wound.

    ¡°I¡¯m right,¡± Sid said. ¡°It¡¯s not like¡ª¡±

    ¡°How many pirates did you kill?¡± Kino asked, interrupting whatever diatribe Sid had been about to start.

    ¡°Why does it matter?¡± Sid asked.

    Kino¡¯s eyes were still closed. ¡°The front is worse,¡± Kino said. ¡°There were hundreds of millions of people on that planet. You don¡¯t know what it¡¯s like yet. You don¡¯t know what Sandreas is really going to make you do.¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t make you kill anyone there, did he?¡± Yan asked, suddenly very alarmed.

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°But he knows it will be our duty someday, one of us. It doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s in person, or giving orders. It¡¯s the same blood.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question,¡± Sid said. ¡°What are you going to do when you can¡¯t take vena and still have to be there?¡±

    Kino opened her eyes and looked directly at Sid. ¡°What would you do, if you were at the front? Would you do better?¡± she asked.

    Sid scowled. He used the power to retrieve his discarded hat from the floor, and stomped out of the room, leaving Yan and Kino in an awkward silence.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said. ¡°We¡¯ve both been having¡­ a bad time.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Kino said. ¡°Sandreas told me.¡±

    ¡°What did actually happen at the front, if you don¡¯t mind me asking?¡±

    Kino shrugged, then gave a short, choppy explanation of how she had gone on a tour, and then had the tunnel cave in on her and her group. The telling was fragmented, probably partially due to Kino¡¯s usual storytelling style, and partially from the way vena, and withdrawal from it, had muddled her memories of the event. In exchange, Yan described their trip on the  Sky Boat  and their time on Olar. She left out Sid¡¯s use of vena, but gave a pretty comprehensive report of everything else. Kino listened very patiently, and then was silent for a while.

    Yan helped herself to Kino¡¯s chips after she had finished talking, and Kino rested her chin on her hands. They could sit in companionable silence for a while. Yan decided that she had missed Kino, no matter how odd she was, and how badly she got along with Sid. It seemed like whatever friendship they had between them before they had split up to go their separate ways had been strained. It would probably take some time, and some shared experiences, to get back on the same page.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that Sid and I sort of left you behind,¡± Yan said. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m glad you didn¡¯t have to be with us on the  Sky Boat , but I missed you.¡±

    Kino tilted her head. ¡°It¡¯s alright. I volunteered to go to the front. And Sandreas would have split us up somehow. I¡¯m okay on my own. You don¡¯t have to worry about me.¡±

    ¡°Why did you volunteer to go to the front?¡± Yan asked. ¡°I¡­¡± She hesitated. ¡°Sandreas wanted me to volunteer to go¡ª we had talked about it a while beforehand. But I don¡¯t think¡­ I would have hated going. Did you think it was going to be different than it was?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°I knew what it was going to be like.¡±

    ¡°You knew that you would need to take vena to¡± ¡ª she searched her memory for the phrase that Kino had used once¡ª ¡°take the edges off?¡±

    Kino looked away again. ¡°I always do that.¡±

    ¡°Well, more than usual.¡±

    ¡°I had hoped I wouldn¡¯t need to. But I did.¡± She dug her fingers into her knees again, and Yan reached out and put her hand on Kino¡¯s, trying to stop her from hurting herself. Kino flinched, then pulled her hands away and looked away from Yan, towards the wall. But she let Yan¡¯s hand stay on her knee.

    ¡°You think I¡¯m weak,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I think I am.¡±

    Kino was silent for a long time. ¡°I needed to see it for myself,¡± she said. ¡°I think I needed to know.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because¡­¡± She turned back to look at Yan. The feeling of their eyes meeting was strangely electric, since Kino rarely chose to look directly in anyone¡¯s face. Yan had to look away. ¡°I needed to know what my real responsibilities are. And know what I have to be able to make myself do.¡±

    ¡°When you¡¯re First¡ª¡±

    ¡°You think I¡¯ll be First, Yan?¡±

    ¡°Good money¡¯s on you,¡± Yan said, trying to joke, but there was no humor really in it.

    ¡°Will I be able to do what Sandreas does, is that what you¡¯re asking?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Do you think you¡¯ll be able to?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°Sandreas told me I shouldn¡¯t even try to answer that question, because there¡¯s no way to actually answer it honestly.¡±

    ¡°Maybe he¡¯s right,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°Do you think Sandreas knew what he was capable of, when he was an apprentice?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said. ¡°He and I are alike that way. He said that to me.¡±

    ¡°Oh. The good money on you is right, then.¡±

    ¡°Do you not want Sandreas¡¯s position?¡± Kino asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to think about it,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°You have to.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t just ¡®take the edge off¡¯ and ignore it?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t ignoring it,¡± Kino said. ¡°I wasn¡¯t.¡± For once, the flatness of Kino¡¯s voice was broken, cracking in protest.

    ¡°I know.¡± She squeezed Kino¡¯s knee. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to upset you.¡±

    ¡°When you¡¯re First¡­¡± Kino said.

    Yan shook her head and stood. ¡°Let¡¯s not predict the future. Maybe it¡¯ll be Sid.¡±

    Kino looked up at her, eyes wide and dark, and Yan couldn¡¯t understand what her expression was saying. ¡°I hope you¡¯ll know what to do,¡± Kino said.

    Yan wanted to say that she didn¡¯t even know what to do now, but she just nodded. Kino looked away, back down at the floor, and Yan hurried out of the room.

    <hr>

    Yan didn¡¯t see Halen or Sandreas all evening, and Yan suspected that while the former was waiting for the opportune moment to ambush her, the latter was just busy with whatever his usual work was. Admittedly, she was glad for a bit of a respite, and tried to get some sleep. Unfortunately for her, the  First Star  being a faster ship meant that its intervals between jumps were shorter than on any other ship Yan had been on, and the feeling of it jumping woke her up in the middle of the night.

    So, the next morning, although she had technically slept, and was clean and presentable, she was very tired, and not happy when, after breakfast, she received a summons to meet with Halen and Sandreas, which said that they wanted to talk over the actual situation that Yan and Sid had been in on the  Sky Boat . Kino, who was at breakfast with Yan, had also been invited. Sid, too, presumably, had received a summons, but there was no sign of him at breakfast, and when Yan arrived in the room where Sandreas and Halen were waiting, he wasn¡¯t there either.

    The room that they had been called to was not in the gravity section of the ship. It was in the empty center of the  First Star , and although Yan was quite comfortable navigating the zero gravity hallways to get there, Kino had been clumsy, and now floated very uncomfortably in the space, one hand clinging to the handholds on the wall, like she was afraid she would drift away.

    Halen looked the same as Yan remembered him, but in this space, his huge form looked much more natural. He was a pirate after all, and he was as at home in a ship as Yan was. Maybe even more so, a bitter part of her mind said. Halen just nodded at Yan and Kino when they arrived, and said nothing.

    Sandreas looked as cool as ever, of course, though he was annoyed when the appointed time for Sid to arrive came and went. ¡°Where is Sid?¡± he asked Yan.

    Yan shrugged helplessly. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen him all morning,¡± Yan said.

    Sandreas checked his watch again. ¡°We should get started.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have anywhere else to be,¡± Halen pointed out, which surprised Yan. Halen almost never disagreed with Sandreas.

    ¡°But if he isn¡¯t here by now, he isn¡¯t coming,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°Unless someone is going to drag him here.¡±

    ¡°I can go get him,¡± Yan offered.

    ¡°No,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°I suspect it¡¯s not a fight worth having, or a fight you would win. If he wants to hide in his room until we get to Emerri, let him.¡±

    Yan shrugged, but as she looked around the room, wondering what exactly Halen had in store here, she wished Sid was there to give her the company. After all, if this was about the  Sky Boat , he had been her companion there.

    ¡°So,¡± Halen said, ¡°I¡¯d like to walk through the incident on the  Sky Boat  and some of the decisions that you made. I don¡¯t want to criticize you, but I do think having a better grasp of the situation would have helped. I¡¯ve invited Kino because I think that it is a valuable learning experience, even if she wasn¡¯t there. And it might help to have an outside pair of eyes. Are you alright with that?¡± His voice was very calm, low and intentionally soothing in that specific tone he had.

    Yan glanced at Kino, who stared straight ahead. ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. ¡°Kino¡¯s fine.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t Kino¡¯s presence that was making her stomach flip, and it wasn¡¯t the lack of gravity either. Yan didn¡¯t want to think about the  Sky Boat . She had been almost successful in pushing it out of her mind over the last few days, especially when she was busy with other things. She knew that Halen was going to have them go over this in excruciating detail. That was his style.

    Halen nodded, and with a quick flick of his power, the lights in the room dimmed, and a 3D projection appeared in the center of the room, floating in the darkness. It was immaterial, and Yan followed the beams of light up towards the walls, revealing projectors she hadn¡¯t noticed. This must be a specialized room Aymon used for grand-scale discussions of strategy, and other such things. She wondered how much use it got.

    But this train of thought was just a way to avoid looking directly at the the projection that had appeared. It was the shuttle that Yan and Sid had been on, recreated in full scale, with the walls and ceiling cut away. Yan could see herself and Sid there in the darkness. She stared at her own face, seeing the terror written clearly across it, in the way her own eyes were squeezed shut, and the way her hands were white-knuckled as she clutched Sid¡¯s hand on one side and Iri¡¯s on the other. She hadn¡¯t known she looked so horrible. She hadn¡¯t realized that Sid did either. When she had looked at him in the shuttle, she hadn¡¯t thought about how small and scared he looked.

    ¡°I was able to get the recorder footage of the whole shuttle trip,¡± Halen said, still in that calm voice. He could obviously feel the way that Yan was gripped by seeing her letter-perfect body double, and he was trying to keep her grounded. ¡°And, while I¡¯ve looked at it, it doesn¡¯t tell me at all what your thought process was. I¡¯d like to walk through it, and have you explain what you were doing, and why you did it at each point. If you can, Yan.¡±

    She struggled to find her voice. ¡°Yes,¡± she said, even if she felt her voice crack. ¡°I can.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

    Halen operated the projectors with his power, and the whole scene came to life. Yan watched herself from the outside as this mirror-Yan realized that the  Sky Boat ¡¯s dogfighters were going to lose the battle, watched as this Yan compelled Sid to threaten mutiny, watched as her double killed for the first time, and then again and again.

    Halen paused the projection at regular intervals, and asked questions about Yan¡¯s decisions. At first, Yan had stumbled through it, but it was strange¡ª somehow watching from outside took the horror away, for the moment. She was floating away from herself¡ª this double could experience it all over again, be trapped inside the shuttle forever, but Yan herself was somewhere far away. Her voice grew clearer, objective.

    ¡°That dogfighter was in the most danger. They were making too tight turns, and they wouldn¡¯t be able to escape the pirate that was chasing them. So that was the first target,¡± she said at one point. It wasn¡¯t exactly a conscious decision to phrase things in a way that didn¡¯t involve herself, but she kept doing it.

    Halen pointed out places where Yan and Sid had chosen the wrong targets. With a dispassionate tone, he complimented Yan¡¯s choice of lethal method, and suggested a few others. If she had been facing a much larger target than a single shuttle, it might have been more difficult to grab and move the whole thing in the power, so she should not rely on one strategy to work all the time.

    Sandreas often had questions or commentary, suggestions, but he deferred to Halen to lead the discussion. Halen would stop and ask Kino questions, too, asking her what she thought the best course of action was. Yan wasn¡¯t sure if it was because Halen actually wanted to teach Kino something, or if it was simply to give Yan a moment¡¯s rest.

    Finally, they reached the end of the shuttle¡¯s record, as the pirates began to retreat. Yan watched the last of the pirates departing, and she remembered feeling Sid reach out and almost crush it. She kept silent. There was no need to speak about that, and Halen didn¡¯t mention doing anything further to the pirates after they had begun to flee.

    There was an echoey silence in the room as Halen killed the projection, leaving them all in a dim twilight.

    Sandreas broke the silence. ¡°It¡¯s a pity that Sid wasn¡¯t here. I suspect he would have found it valuable.¡±

    ¡°If he isn¡¯t ready to discuss it rationally, it¡¯s better that he wasn¡¯t,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°True.¡± Sandreas checked the time. ¡°Kino,¡± he said. ¡°Come have lunch with me.¡±

    Kino glanced back at Yan, who was still drifting in space over where the projection of the shuttle had been. She was staring at the empty air, not really processing anything else. A sudden wave of exhaustion had passed over her, replacing the analytical feeling that had been keeping her moving through the past several hours.

    ¡°Just you, Kino,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°I would like to discuss your thoughts on the state of Tyx as a whole. I think this discussion probably provided you some new angles.¡±

    This was an excuse if Yan had ever heard one. She knew she was being set up by Sandreas and Halen to leave her alone with him. She felt suddenly trapped as Sandreas and Kino headed out.

    Halen also went out the door for a moment, leaving Yan alone, but reappeared a moment later, carrying a typical spacer¡¯s bag, from which he pulled drinks and wrapped sandwiches for the both of them.

    ¡°Here,¡± he said, batting a sandwich through the air towards her. ¡°There¡¯s more than one dining room in this ship, but I always enjoyed having a lunch in the bays away from everyone else. It¡¯s a picnic.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Yan said. She unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite, not realizing how ravenous she was until she devoured the whole thing, and was still hungry for another. Halen tossed her a second, and she ate that one too, at a more reasonable pace.

    Halen reclined in the air, casually eating his own meal and saying nothing. Despite all of her conflicting emotions towards Halen, and the fact that he had trapped her here, he did a very good job of projecting a companionable silence. He was obviously waiting for her to relax a little, before he said anything, and Yan didn¡¯t really want to relax, but when she realized she was turning this all around in her head, she felt a flash of frustration, and that was the moment that Halen spoke.

    ¡°You did a good job today,¡± Halen said. ¡°I know talking through all of that was asking a lot.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Yan said, looking away. She crumpled up her sandwich wrappers and, having nowhere to put them, batted them away. Halen grabbed them out of the air as they sailed past him, and put them back in his canvas bag.

    ¡°I hope that you¡¯re not lying to me,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°You should know if I am.¡±

    He smiled. ¡°That¡¯s true. But it¡¯s impossible for me to know everything.¡± He was silent for a while. ¡°I¡¯m not upset with you, you know.¡±

    She engaged herself with opening one of the juice packs that Halen had brought, carefully manipulating it so that the liquid wouldn¡¯t spill out everywhere. This kept her hands and eyes busy, so she wouldn¡¯t have to look at him. ¡°Why would you be?¡± she asked, though she knew the answer, and Halen knew that she knew.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t been a pirate for a very long time,¡± Halen said.

    Yan stabbed the straw into the juice wrong, her earlier carefulness going to naught, and globules of cranberry juice floated out and escaped. Yan could have brought them back with the power, or like a small child made a game of rushing around to slurp them from the air, but instead she followed them with her eyes and watched them crash and splatter red on the white walls of the bay.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Aymon told me about you and your uncle.¡±

    ¡°What did he say?¡±

    ¡°That he¡¯s glad you¡¯re choosing to remain his apprentice.¡± He paused. ¡°If it matters to you, so am I.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why.¡± It wasn¡¯t meant to be a cutting remark¡ª she was genuine.

    ¡°There are plenty of reasons,¡± Halen said. ¡°The same ones I have for being glad that Kino didn¡¯t die in a cave in on Tyx, and that Sid made it to Olar safely. But you remind me of myself, a long time ago. So I feel more responsible for you, in some ways.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t have to. But I do anyway. I would like for us to be friends, Yan.¡±

    She didn¡¯t say anything for a long time, and he was very patient. ¡°I¡¯m not really a spacer anymore.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°Probably not.¡± His voice was painfully gentle.

    Was it worse that he agreed, or was it worse that he was the only one who really understood, in the whole universe? He wasn¡¯t agreeing because he hated her like the crew of the  Sky Boat , or disagreeing because he loved her, like her uncle. She wished that he would have said something that gave her an excuse to hate him, but instead she just wanted to cry. She scrunched up her face and rubbed vainly at her nose, trying to forestall any tears. Her eyes were damp, but the grace of zero gravity meant that the tiny wetness just collected in the corner of her eyes, and she could rub it away at her leisure, rather than letting tears slide down her face.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how you do it,¡± Yan said, when she had gotten herself under control enough to speak again.

    ¡°Do what?¡±

    She made a vain, sweeping gesture, one that caused her to spin in the empty air, and before she could kick her feet down to the floor to stop herself from moving, Halen steadied her with his hand on her shoulder and his own feet magnetically latched to the floor.

    ¡°I think you¡¯ll figure out what you need to do, and feel comfortable where you are,¡± Halen said. ¡°It will take time. But I believe in you.¡±

    ¡°Just because you figured it out?¡±

    ¡°No, because I know you¡¯re very capable. And don¡¯t sell yourself short.¡±

    Yan shrugged.

    ¡°Do you have any plans for when we get back to Emerri?¡± Halen asked. ¡°You can take some time off, if you want it. Aymon would let you.¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t need any time off. It¡¯s better to be busy.¡±

    ¡°Sometimes that¡¯s true.¡±

    She was tempted to say that she wished everything could go back to normal, but there was really no such thing as normal anymore, and even if there was, she couldn¡¯t go back to it. Shee decided to be honest, instead. It was as much of an actual gesture of friendship as she could give to Halen. ¡°I¡¯m going to talk to Sylva,¡± Yan said. ¡°I hope, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Iri did say you wrote to her.¡±

    ¡°I wish Iri wasn¡¯t reading my mail.¡±

    ¡°She isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°But she sees who I¡¯m sending mail to.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Halen said with a smile. ¡°It all goes through the ansible anyway.¡±

    Yan scowled. ¡°You don¡¯t make a very good member of the censorship bureau. You¡¯re not supposed to talk about it.¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s any consolation, your letters are not read by the normal censorship bureau. If you¡¯re telling people state secrets, only I have the privilege of knowing.¡±

    Yan scowled, but Halen¡¯s tone was joking enough that she couldn¡¯t really be mad. Although he had distracted her from the topic of Sylva briefly, now that the subject was at the forefront of her mind, Yan couldn¡¯t put it down.

    ¡°She will be happy to see you,¡± Halen said. ¡°I¡¯m sure of it.¡±

    ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°I know many things,¡± Halen said. ¡°And you¡¯ve brought her to lunch at Stonecourt so many times, I feel like I know everything about her.¡±

    Yan¡¯s face burned. ¡°I wish you wouldn¡¯t spy on me.¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± he said. ¡°I won¡¯t. At least in this.¡±

    She didn¡¯t really feel like that deserved a thank you, because it was basic human decency. ¡°Good.¡±

    ¡°I hope it goes well for you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t really know¡ª¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll figure it out.¡± He collected all the remaining trash from their lunch. ¡°It won¡¯t be the same as it was, but that doesn¡¯t mean that it can¡¯t make you happy.¡±

    ¡°What will make me happy?¡±

    Halen laughed. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Yan. But I want you to be.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re happy, being here?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Halen said. ¡°Despite everything, I am.¡±

 A Home You Can Go Back To

    To Yan, the journey back to Emerri felt alarmingly fast. She couldn¡¯t get used to how empty the  First Star  felt. It had hardly any crew, and those it did have stayed well out of her way, to the point where they might as well have been ghosts. None of them were spacers, she noted when she did see them. They were probably all, or nearly all, former Fleet soldiers who had served on board ships. The  First Star  wasn¡¯t set up to facilitate Yan meeting most of the crew, either. There was a very clear delineation between the areas of the ship intended for First Sandreas¡¯s use, and the places where the crew kept their quarters and workspaces. The strangeness of the ship¡¯s layout disoriented her, but it stopped her from comparing it to the  Iron Dreams , or any other Guild ship.

    Halen probably expected that she would want to tour the inner workings of the vessel, or sit on the bridge and jump it, but Yan steered clear. Although this was Sandreas¡¯s ship, and Halen¡¯s, it was still too close to something she was asking to do as a spacer, rather than as Sandreas¡¯s apprentice. If Kino had asked, maybe Yan would have gone with her, but Kino had already seen the whole ship, and had no further interest in it.

    And, of course, Sid didn¡¯t leave his room. He also didn¡¯t let Yan in when she came to see him. She would ring his room¡¯s doorbell¡ª which really flashed his lights¡ª and mentally poke him with the power, but there was no response. He didn¡¯t answer to anyone else, either. It wasn¡¯t even clear to Yan that Sid was eating anything, because he didn¡¯t come to any meals¡ªnot the breakfasts she shared with Kino alone, the lunches she took with Iri and the other staff, or the dinners with Sandreas and Halen. Since Sid¡¯s minder didn¡¯t seem worried that Sid was dying of starvation, Yan assumed that someone was bringing him food, but his sudden bout of reclusiveness still alarmed her. She didn¡¯t understand his change of heart and refusal to speak with her. It wasn¡¯t like they had fought about anything¡ªhe had just decided to retreat into a world that Yan wasn¡¯t allowed into.

    It could have been just that they were back in space again, but Yan didn¡¯t think that was it, and she couldn¡¯t figure out what it was.

    It soured what otherwise could have been a calm trip, one in which Yan could have put all the problems of past and future far out of her sight. But instead, when she wasn¡¯t occupied, thoughts of Sid filled her waking hours with anxiety, and her sleeping ones with near-nightmares. She would have dreams where she was searching for Sid¡ªor someone else, but she suspected it was usually Sid¡ªand couldn¡¯t find him, no matter how many corridors she ran down, or doors she opened. This would go on until, at last, she would come to the final door, pull it open, and wake in a panic, drenched in sweat. It was probably the feeling of the ship jumping that woke her, but it made it difficult to rest well.

    Yan hoped her anxiety was invisible to everyone else, but she doubted that it was. Iri never said anything, but that didn¡¯t mean she wasn¡¯t a keen observer of Yan¡¯s mental state.

    Halen had his way of pretending to encounter Yan, rather than seeking her out. She had expected that he might spend the trip doing some more intensive power training, like they had during the first weeks of the apprenticeship, but they didn¡¯t. It might have only been because Sid wouldn¡¯t leave his room, but Yan was a little grateful that there wasn¡¯t anything intense that they needed to do. Instead Halen would just run into her, to talk for a few minutes about mundane things¡ªnothing important at all. He seemed more relaxed aboard the First Star than Yan had ever seen him. Sometimes, when he walked away from her, she would see him trail his fingers along the walls of the ship, which she had never seen him do in Stonecourt.

    Halen picked up on Yan¡¯s anxiety and understood that the cure was to keep her busy. Although he did not give her tasks to do, she suspected that he whispered in Aymon¡¯s ear about occupying his apprentices¡¯ time.

    Yan guessed that this was why she saw Sandreas so often. But maybe it was just because he had taken it into his mind that this was a good time to have long, drawn out talks with the two apprentices who would see him, on any subject that he happened to be thinking about at that moment. Being out of contact with the rest of the universe while they were in transit made Sandreas a different person¡ª these short days on his occasional trips off planet were probably the only real rests he was able to have in his life. In the privacy of the ship, he became a little less severe.

    Their talks weren¡¯t even about work, exclusively. One morning, Sandreas let the conversation veer into a theological argument, one about the interpretation of a few specific verses from the  Song of Terae . While Yan had taken it as a purely academic exercise (and couldn¡¯t escape the feeling that Sandreas was probably grading her), the discussion ended when Kino got so riled up that she had to leave the room. This amused Sandreas, more than anything. When he smiled at Kino stomping out the door, Yan thought his expression would have been more at home on Sid¡¯s face than on his own.

    Kino was Yan¡¯s stalwart companion for most of the day, Yan¡¯s smaller dark shadow. Although they were both quiet people in each other¡¯s company, Yan appreciated her presence, even if all they did was sit in the library and read.

    If it hadn¡¯t been for her worries about Sid, which swam to the forefront of her mind every time she didn¡¯t have something else in front of her, it would have been a quiet and peaceful trip. But it went by quickly, and it was over before Yan had a chance to begin to savor it. At least the quickness of it meant that she hadn¡¯t had time to worry about what was awaiting her at port. She didn¡¯t realize that they were in Emerri¡¯s system until Halen wandered into her breakfast with Kino and said, ¡°We¡¯ll be taking a shuttle down to the surface after the next jump. Are you all ready to go?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kino said.

    Yan processed the question, felt her stomach flip over, and put her cup of coffee down before she spilled it. She had been counting jumps, as was her habit, but the number hadn¡¯t really registered. ¡°We¡¯re back already?¡±

    ¡°In about three hours,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°Has someone told Sid?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Halen said.

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t we taking the elevator down?¡±

    ¡°Because we¡¯re not so far off from Yora¡¯s timezone that we need the extra sleep,¡± Halen said. ¡°And Aymon has responsibilities that shouldn¡¯t wait.¡± The short respite was indeed over. Yan frowned down at the table, and Halen put his heavy hand on her shoulder. ¡°That¡¯s the downside of a fast ship,¡± Halen said, sensing her change in mood. He, too, probably was enjoying the vacation.

    ¡°It will be good to be back home,¡± Yan said, trying to convince herself of that more than anything else.

    She didn¡¯t have many belongings to pack up, and one of the staff was responsible for her luggage, so Yan took care of the necessities, then spent the next few hours trying not to let her anxiety overwhelm her. She kept walking past the door to Sid¡¯s room, wondering if she should try to speak with him. She finally made up her mind to speak with him when she felt the ship jump for the last time, settling itself cleanly into orbit around Emerri.

    She stood outside his door and steadied herself before reaching out and poking Sid with the power through the door, as she had done several times in the past to no avail. As she poked him, she found that he was sitting on the floor of his room, probably meditating. This time, when he didn¡¯t move, Yan instead turned her power on the lock of his door. It went against every spacer instinct she had¡ª locked doors had to be treated as if they could open onto a hard vacuum, so children were taught from a very early age to never force a door or a lock¡ª but Yan could make an exception for Sid. His door unlocked with minimal effort under her mental touch, and she pulled it open.

    His room was a mess, which was very unlike him. Sid was usually neat, much neater than Kino, or even Yan. But he had shoved all his furniture around, and his bed had been stripped of its sheets. There were some dirty dishes piled up in the corner¡ª evidence that he had been eating, at least.

    He looked up at Yan and blinked when the light spilled in from the door. He had been in the dark.

    ¡°It¡¯s time to go,¡± Yan signed.

    ¡°I¡¯m taking the elevator down by myself, after the ship docks,¡± Sid replied. ¡°Hernan said I could.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what Hernan says,¡± Yan said. ¡°You¡¯re coming on the shuttle with me.¡±

    Sid turned away, but Yan walked into the room and crouched down on the floor in front of him so that he couldn¡¯t avoid her unless he closed his eyes. And if he did close his eyes, Yan could grab his arm and speak with him through the power. He knew that just as well as she did, so he kept his eyes open, merely scowling at her the whole time.

    ¡°What is your issue?¡± Yan asked. ¡°Why won¡¯t you talk to me?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no issue.¡±

    Yan flailed her arm, encompassing the room, but Sid just shrugged.

    ¡°Did I do something that made you mad at me? If I did, I can¡¯t fix it unless you tell me what it is.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sid replied. ¡°It¡¯s not you.¡±

    ¡°Sandreas, then?¡±

    Sid shook his head. ¡°No. It doesn¡¯t have anything to do with anyone. Just leave me alone.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t talk to you if you don¡¯t want to talk,¡± Yan signed. ¡°But you have to come down on the shuttle with us. I don¡¯t know why your minder would say that you could take a different route down. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s any reason for it.¡± She was just signing things to fill up the space in the room, and Sid was watching her dead-eyed.

    ¡°Fine,¡± he replied. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡±

    She hadn¡¯t expected to actually win the argument, if it really was an argument. Maybe she should have been brave enough to confront Sid like this earlier in the trip, if she could have gotten concessions out of him before now. She felt a sting of regret. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for leaving you alone in here,¡± she said.

    Sid shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s fine. You should just forget about me. Can you just leave me alone?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    He did close his eyes at that, but Yan shook his shoulder. He didn¡¯t re-open them, but he said aloud, ¡°I¡¯ll take the shuttle down with you. Just let me pack.¡±

    That was all she was going to get, so, reluctantly, Yan left him alone, glancing at his slumped form on the floor of his messy room before she closed the door behind herself and left.

    Yan was very relieved when Sid did actually join her in the shuttle to go down. He was still wearing his winter hat, and Sandreas rolled his eyes but didn¡¯t make any comment. Probably he would wait until they really were on the planet, and they tried to pick up their old daily routines. If Sid could rejoin those without complaint or causing problems, Yan was hopeful that whatever mood he had been in on this leg of the trip could be forgiven and forgotten.

    On the way down, Sandreas didn¡¯t speak to any of his apprentices except for in brief greeting: now that they were in radio contact with the ground, and would be back on the surface soon, all of Sandreas¡¯s responsibilities had come back to him. He sat in the front seat of the shuttle and discussed some political matter with Halen in a low voice. It seemed to concern a growing partisan divide within the Imperial Council that Sandreas wanted to put a stop to, but Yan couldn¡¯t hear the whole conversation, and so tuned it out.

    The ride down to Emerri was quick. She looked out the shuttle window and watched the marble of the  First Star  recede into the distance, and the blues and greens and whites of the surface of Emerri come into focus, larger and larger. There was the sprawl of the capital, the grey of buildings seen from above. Sylva was down there, somewhere, Yan thought. She made up her mind: as soon as she was back in her apartment, she would call her. Sylva wouldn¡¯t mind that.

    With some sort of resolution in hand, Yan felt better. Having a plan let her settle back into her seat. Ahead of her, Halen looked up from his conversation with Sandreas and turned in his seat to give Yan a smile. She hastily looked away from him and out the window.

    The shuttle landed on the long runway outside the capital. As it did, even before it came to a complete stop, Sandreas was already getting out of his seat and smoothing his cassock down. He glanced at his apprentices.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what¡¯s going on under that hat,¡± he said to Sid. ¡°You¡¯re going to take it off¡ª there are going to be photographers on the way out of the airport, and I don¡¯t want  that  in the photos.¡±

    Sid scowled and folded his arms, but when Kino reached over and plucked the hat from his head, he didn¡¯t slap her hand away.

    Sandreas studied the tattoo and said with a dubious tone, ¡°If that is permanent, you¡¯re going to have to grow your hair out.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not supposed to be,¡± Yan said, coming to his defense. ¡°He¡¯ll be able to hide it as soon as it¡¯s all healed¡ª¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Sandreas said. He looked Yan and Kino over. ¡°You¡¯re both acceptable. And you¡¯ll all have to get used to Emerri publicity again. No more vacation.¡±

    Kino looked up from what she was doing, which was already absentmindedly ripping apart the knitted stitches on Sid¡¯s hat with her deft fingers. She held up her arm to confirm that she hadn¡¯t yet managed to rip the button off her latest cassock sleeve. Yan wondered if there was a member of Sandreas¡¯s staff somewhere whose job was just to repair Kino¡¯s clothes, or if she spent the time doing it herself, in the evenings, sewing new buttons onto her outfits each time she ripped one loose.

    The airport was indeed full of journalists and photographers as they left the private VIP area and walked through the main concourse to the exit, where there would be cars waiting. In the sudden onslaught of attention, questions being yelled and camera shutters clicking, Yan wished the cars had been brought around to the private entrance. But Sandreas stopped and even answered a few questions, so it was very much intentional that they be seen.

    Yan tried to smile¡ª she felt her face was frozen. Kino seemed unfazed, though she hardly ever smiled, so that was no different than usual. Sid, who before this trip would have grinned at the cameras, instead just stood behind Yan with his hands shoved in his pockets and his glasses pushed up onto his forehead, ignoring everyone. Iri and the other members of Halen¡¯s protective staff who were in their party were scanning the crowd. It wasn¡¯t really Iri¡¯s job to do so anymore, but old habits must have died hard.

    As Sandreas prepared to walk away, Halen signaled to their guards to usher the journalists out of the way. They began to part; although they continued to yell questions and snap photos, they were all very used to Sandreas¡¯s routine, and the way his security operated. Halen, too. was scanning the crowd, but he suddenly turned to the left. Iri¡¯s gaze followed his, and Yan¡¯s followed Iri¡¯s¡ª sudden movements from Halen put people who were paying attention on high alert¡ª but since Halen didn¡¯t move to put his own body in between Sandreas and whatever had grabbed his attention, it probably wasn¡¯t dangerous. Halen could see much further over the top of the crowd than Yan or Iri, but that didn¡¯t matter. Cutting through all the airport noise and the chatter of the journalist corps, Yan heard a familiar voice.

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Yan!¡± Sylva yelled. ¡°Yan!¡±

    Yan¡¯s eyes widened in shock. Sylva was still not visible¡ª she wasn¡¯t very tall, and hadn¡¯t managed to push her way through the crowd around them¡ª but she was loud.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Sandreas asked as, rather than moving forward, Halen had come to a stop.

    Halen glanced at Yan, looking for confirmation of what to do, but Yan was too frozen to say anything. Her plan of calling Sylva on the phone had flown out the window, and now she was faced with the prospect of seeing her in person, without any preparation. But the fact that Sylva was here still made something in Yan crack open, and she took a half-step towards the voice.

    ¡°Let her through,¡± Halen said in his commanding tone.

    The guards complied, and the sea of journalists parted, letting Sylva shoulder her way through until she stood at the front edge of the crowd. She exactly like Yan remembered: auburn hair done up in braids wrapped around her head, her bright blue cloak on her shoulders. She seemed a little stunned that she had actually managed to make it to Yan, and she stiffened her back and looked up at everyone resolutely.

    The journalists had processed that something interesting was happening, and a few of them turned their cameras on Sylva, who ignored them.

    ¡°Who is this?¡± Sandreas asked.

    Yan realized that if she didn¡¯t make the introductions, the whole situation would become much more unbearably awkward. She stepped in between Sylva and Sandreas. ¡°First Sandreas,¡± she said. ¡°This is Sylva Calor. I¡¯ve told you about her.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sandreas said. ¡°I remember now.¡± He looked at Sylva with an appraising gaze, and Sylva took a few steps towards him. ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Calor.¡± He held out his hand to shake, and Sylva did with no hesitation, though it seemed difficult for her to take her eyes off of Yan, even when she was right in front of Sandreas.

    ¡°Pleasure,¡± Sylva said.

    ¡°Though I would have appreciated Yan inviting you to dinner, or some other venue than the airport,¡± he continued, with a sardonic raise of his eyebrow. ¡°I, personally, try not to cause a scene, unless I want my personal business to end up in the papers.¡± His gaze roved across all the waiting journalists, some of whom had decided that, since any reporting on this would probably be stopped by Stonecourt¡¯s media control office, there was no longer any point in taking photographs, and they were content to just watch and listen as the little private drama played out.

    ¡°I just wanted to see you,¡± Sylva said, ignoring Sandreas and turning to Yan.

    ¡°I was going to call you as soon as I got home,¡± Yan said. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect¡ª¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s take this outside,¡± Halen said. His tone changed. ¡°Move,¡± he said to the crowd, and they parted again. Yan and Sylva, though they both wanted to speak, found themselves being pushed along by Iri. They couldn¡¯t get a word in edgewise as they were shuffled out through the concourse and into the bright sun of the Emerri morning.

    It was lucky that Sid was in too bad of a mood to bother Sylva, and Sylva was too focused on Yan to bother Sid or Kino. Kino, for her part, seemed to be ignoring the whole situation, and just strode past Yan and Sylva as they stood blinking in the sudden hot light outdoors.

    There were a line of cars waiting to take the apprentices home, and Sandreas to Stonecourt, but Yan didn¡¯t get in one, even as Sid, Kino, and Sandreas got inside theirs. Halen waited outside the car, and said, ¡°Are you coming home, or going elsewhere?¡±

    Yan looked at Sylva. ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±

    ¡°Will you come to my place?¡± Sylva asked. There was hope in her voice.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. She looked over at Halen, not exactly asking permission.

    Halen pointed at one of the other cars, one that was meant for some of Sandreas¡¯s staff, and said, ¡°Take that one. Maedes¡ª¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be followed!¡± Yan protested.

    ¡°Maedes and the security will not follow you inside Ms. Calor¡¯s house,¡± Halen said. His voice was dry and amused. ¡°But I do have some responsibilities for your safety, and I am not as tolerant of people running everywhere as Maedes has been while you were on Olar.¡± He looked through the tinted car windows, directly at Sid when he said this.

    This was probably the best that Yan was going to get, so she shook her head and took it. Of course, with Iri and the guards in the car, the ride away from the airport was painful, and silent in the beginning. Iri crossed her legs and looked at Yan and Sylva, sitting next to each other uncomfortably on the other side of the limo. She smirked a little.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad that Yan managed to write to you, finally,¡± Iri said, after they had gotten onto the highway. ¡°I hope you¡¯ve resolved whatever problem you were having.¡±

    ¡°Iri¡ª¡± Yan said.

    ¡°What?¡± Iri asked, very innocently.

    Sylva¡¯s glare could have curdled milk. ¡°It¡¯s none of your business.¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll enjoy sitting in the car and waiting to bring Yan back home.¡±

    Yan thought that if she wanted to be teased, she would have brought Sid in the car with her. But maybe Iri was tying to do her a favor: if Yan was thinking about how ridiculous she was being, she would be distracted from the anxiety of talking to Sylva that was otherwise beginning to pool up in her stomach and make her nauseous.

    ¡°Ms. Calor,¡± Iri said.

    ¡°What?¡± Sylva replied, crossing her arms.

    Iri held out her hand. ¡°Give me the keys to your motorcycle. I assume it¡¯s still in the airport parking lot, and you¡¯ll want someone to bring it back to you. I can have it back here by the morning.¡±

    ¡°How do you know I ride a motorcycle?¡±

    ¡°I know everything, Ms. Calor.¡±

    Sylva seemed on the verge of not cooperating, but she finally relented and fished her keys out of her pocket. She slapped them into Iri¡¯s hand with a little too much force, and Iri spun the ring of keys around her finger with amusement.

    Iri continued to make stupid small talk until they pulled up outside Sylva¡¯s house. She rented an apartment on the second floor of a small building in the more spread out part of the city. There was a lawn out front, with a tree in full flower that made Yan sneeze when she opened the limo door. Without speaking, Sylva led Yan up a rickety flight of outside wooden steps to her place. With her keys being in Iri¡¯s hand down below, she had to resort to the spare beneath the doormat, and she was scowling by the time she got it open. Yan almost volunteered to open the door with the power, decided against it.

    Yan had been to Sylva¡¯s place before, of course, and it was unchanged from the last time she had been there. Maybe a little messier, but that was nothing new for Sylva. The furniture was all brightly colored, and there were some familiar posters on the walls¡ª ones that had decorated their former dorm rooms for years. Yan looked at them, and couldn¡¯t contain the odd feeling in her heart.

    Sylva puttered around, seemingly not knowing what to do with herself as Yan stood by the door. The windows were all open, letting in the warm air, and as Sylva picked up some heavy books from the coffee table, the breeze came in and swept the papers they had been pinning down to the floor.

    ¡°It¡¯s all just work stuff,¡± Sylva said, and tried vainly to scoop them up.

    Yan finally shook herself free of whatever daze she had been trapped in, and went over to kneel and help Sylva gather up all the mess.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Sylva said, not looking at Yan. But Yan helped anyway, and it was short work getting all the papers into a neat-ish stack, and putting them on the desk away from the window where they would be safe.

    ¡°Do you want something to drink?¡± Sylva asked. She seemed to not know what to do with herself, and was suddenly nervous, like she hadn¡¯t actually expected to get this far. Searching out Yan at the airport seemed like it must have been an impulsive move on her part, and she probably hadn¡¯t really given thought to what would happen afterwards, either failure or success.

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m alright.¡± She sat down on the floral patterned couch, and Sylva hesitated, then sat next to her.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ glad you¡¯re back,¡± Sylva said finally.

    ¡°Yeah, so am I,¡± Yan said. ¡°It¡¯s been¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t write sooner,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I get it,¡± Sylva replied. ¡°I could have written, too.¡±

    ¡°No, it was my¡ª¡± Yan was floundering. ¡°I left you in a weird spot. It was really my job to write.¡±

    ¡°Well, you did. So, thanks.¡±

    ¡°If I hadn¡¯t¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have come to see me at the airport, would you have?¡±

    ¡°No, probably not.¡± Sylva looked away. ¡°I¡¯m not sure what I would have done.¡± She laughed, uncomfortably. ¡°I would have been pretty miserable, I guess. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°What are you apologizing for?¡±

    ¡°I was the one who made things difficult. I shouldn¡¯t have put you in a weird position,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I realize that now. It was pretty selfish of me.¡±

    ¡°What¡ª no.¡±

    ¡°Well, it is,¡± Sylva said. She was looking away. ¡°You¡¯ve got a lot more to worry about than me, and I only made it worse.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°You deserve to be able to say whatever you¡¯re feeling. And I¡¯m¡ª I should have known, probably. I think I spent a lot of time being really, really stupid.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not stupid.¡±

    ¡°I feel like I am, sometimes,¡± Yan said. ¡°But it¡¯s not that¡ª I think I just never wanted anything to change in the whole world. But it all keeps changing anyway.¡±

    ¡°I know, you said so in your letter.¡±

    ¡°It probably didn¡¯t make any sense. I¡¯ve been doing pretty badly.¡±

    ¡°For the record, I liked your letter.¡± She paused. ¡°It made me¡ª¡± She stopped.

    ¡°What?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Well, it seemed like you still wanted to be my friend, and I hadn¡¯t screwed it all up completely.¡±

    ¡°Of course I still¡ª what are you talking about?¡± Yan asked. ¡°You¡¯ve been my best friend for ten years. There¡¯s no way I wouldn¡¯t want to be.¡±

    Sylva shrugged. ¡°I did kinda screw it up.¡±

    ¡°No, you didn¡¯t.¡± Yan looked away. ¡°You definitely didn¡¯t. Stop saying that.¡±

    Sylva made a weird half-laugh and said nothing.

    ¡°If I hadn¡¯t had to leave right after¡ª¡± Yan said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I was expecting when I said all that,¡± Sylva said. The flush in her cheeks and the way that she was now avoiding looking at Yan made it obvious that she did. ¡°I put you on the spot. And you don¡¯t like change, so me trying to change you and the way you feel¡­¡±

    Yan felt the heat of shame rise to her cheeks. Sylva was right, of course. If she hadn¡¯t needed to leave Emerri immediately after Sylva¡¯s confession, she might have found some way to ruin things entirely for that reason. She would have said something about wanting things to stay the same. It was perhaps a small blessing that the trip to Olar had happened, and everything had gone so wrong. It made certain things appear more clearly, anyway.

    ¡°Why did you say something?¡± Yan asked. ¡°If I were in your place, I never would have.¡±

    ¡°Because,¡± Sylva began.

    ¡°Please tell me.¡±

    ¡°Because you were changing!¡± Sylva said suddenly, the frustration coming out in her voice. ¡°And you wanted to pretend like everything was the same, and just fine, and could go on the way it was forever. But you had Sid and Kino and First Sandreas and this whole other life that I couldn¡¯t be part of¡ª and, I don¡¯t know, you were leaving me behind. And it was just killing me. I had to do something. Or if I didn¡¯t say anything, I would explode. That¡¯s just the way I am. It sucks.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. I mean, of course, what else were you supposed to do? I can¡¯t blame you for having a life. I shouldn¡¯t be trying to hold you back or anything like that. I mean, it¡¯s like you said¡ª I¡¯m part of the past.¡± Her voice was choked up in the way it got when she was trying to laugh, but really just holding back tears.

    ¡°You¡¯re not,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡ª Sylva. That¡¯s not what I meant in my letter.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    Yan wanted to burrow underground. ¡°What I meant is just¡ª you¡¯re someone who has always been there for me. And I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about how much that meant to me. All I wanted to do was come back here and see you because I knew that no matter what else I had done, you wouldn¡¯t care about that. And I guess¡ª¡± She took a deep breath and recomposed herself, looking away. ¡°I don¡¯t want to use you to feel better about myself, Sylva. That¡¯s not fair to you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s like, when I¡¯m with you, the rest of the world doesn¡¯t matter. I get to enjoy being with you, and I can forget about everything else. Like¡ª I killed people, Sylva. If I let myself look away and forget about that, what does that make me? And First Sandreas is training me to take his position someday¡ª I¡¯m not supposed to look away from any of that, but I want to. I want to just forget about it all, and go back to the way we were a year ago, when it was just you and me. Because that made me so happy. I don¡¯t think I realized how happy it made me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I said anything¡ª we can go back to the way it was,¡± Sylva said. ¡°I promise.¡±

    ¡°No¡ª you don¡¯t get it¡ª that¡¯s not what I mean.¡±

    ¡°Then what do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± Yan was suddenly frustrated with herself. ¡°I guess I¡¯m trying to say¡ª I care about you so much, and it seems unfair to you that I do, because I¡¯ll just want¡ª¡± It all felt so deeply pathetic to admit to, that Sylva made her feel safe. ¡°You care about me just because I¡¯m the person you knew for years, and I want to let you, because it would give me something I don¡¯t deserve, and it would be using you to make myself feel better, and¡ª¡±

    Sylva¡¯s expression was very strange. ¡°Yan,¡± she said.

    Yan just looked at her, wide eyed and unsure if she should keep speaking or remain silent. She didn¡¯t know if Sylva understood a single word of what she had said, but the look on Sylva¡¯s face made it seem like maybe that didn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°Are you trying to say that you want me to love you?¡± Sylva asked.

    It was very easy for Sylva to put it so simply. Yan was right that she didn¡¯t care about any of the rest of it. The fact remained that if Yan let this chance go, she would never get it back. The rest of it, she would have to figure out later.

    ¡°Yes?¡± she managed to say.

    The insecurity in her voice, and the guilty feeling in her stomach did nothing to dim the suddenly radiant smile on Sylva¡¯s face. It was enough to make Yan smile back tentatively.

    ¡°Well,¡± Sylva said, sounding a little smug. ¡°I do love you.¡±

    For some reason, this made Yan laugh, and the laughter turned hysterical, until she couldn¡¯t tell if she was laughing or crying, and she could barely breathe. Sylva was unsure of what to do, until Yan began to teeter forward on the couch, and then she suddenly realized that she could move, and she scooted forward and grabbed Yan, awkwardly hugging her as Yan laugh-sobbed into her hair. Yan felt like she had lost all of her strength, and was loose and floppy in Sylva¡¯s arms. She leaned on old meditation tricks from childhood at the Academy, counting the seconds between her breaths in, the involuntary laughter or crying notwithstanding, and eventually she was able to get herself under control.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yan said when she could talk again. ¡°I¡¯ve been having a really, really weird time.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s okay,¡± Sylva said. Although she was clearly reluctant to let go of Yan, their position on the couch was very uncomfortable, and Yan was fumbling around on the side table to find the box of tissues that she had seen there. Sylva let her go, and then stood. ¡°I¡¯ll get some water,¡± she said.

    Yan blew her nose as Sylva vanished into the kitchen. But Yan stood up and followed her in there even before she had finished rattling the dishes in the cabinet and filling cups with sink water. She was following Sylva around like a lost puppy, which was not any different than it had been when she was a child at the Academy. When Sylva saw that Yan had followed her in, she smiled and handed her the cup, before hopping up to sit on the counter. Thus elevated, they were approximately the same height.

    Yan rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and gratefully downed the water in a single draught. She refilled the cup in the sink and drank it again, which put her right next to Sylva on the counter.

    For some reason, Sylva dipped her fingers in her cup of water and sprinkled the resulting drops over Yan¡¯s head, most of them ending up on her hair, but some of them slipping down her nose, cooler than her wiped away tears. Yan laughed again, but this time it didn¡¯t turn into hysterics. ¡°What are you doing?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Sylva said.

    It was blatantly an excuse to get to touch Yan. She put down her cup and wiped her hand on her pants, but she hesitated with her hand out, letting Yan smile at her before she brushed her hand across Yan¡¯s hair to get rid of the little caught and glistening droplets.

    Yan thought of sprinkling Sylva back, but the thought left her mind as Sylva¡¯s hand left the top of her head, and instead traveled down her cheek, cupping her face and making goosebumps rise on her arms. She put her hand over Sylva¡¯s, keeping it there.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sylva said, surprised again, never seeming to have a next step after she had gotten exactly what she wanted.

    Yan could have stayed like that forever, but instead she shuffled slightly sideways, so that she was between Sylva¡¯s knees on the counter, and she mirrored the touch on Sylva¡¯s cheek. It would have been very easy for her to say something to Sylva through the power, but there wasn¡¯t really anything else to say, and then Sylva was leaning forward, bumping her nose on Yan¡¯s, almost falling off the counter except for the fact that Yan was there to keep her upright, and kissing her.

    <hr>

    It was much later that Yan left Sylva¡¯s house. The sun was going down, and Iri was still waiting in the car. She smirked at Yan as she got in the car. ¡°Have a good time?¡±

    ¡°If I had stayed all night, you wouldn¡¯t be laughing.¡±

    ¡°I would have called in reinforcements. Swapped out for the night shift.¡±

    Yan closed her eyes and leaned her head on the window of the car, not watching as they sped away from Sylva¡¯s house.

    ¡°Are you feeling any better now that I assume you¡¯ve resolved your problems?¡±

    ¡°I guess so,¡± Yan said. She was exhausted, and all the energy that had buoyed her while she was with Sylva had vanished.

    ¡°Are you going to want dinner?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. ¡°I should see if Sid and Kino have eaten.¡±

    ¡°They probably have, but I can get something arranged for you.¡±

    ¡°I know how to order a pizza, Iri.¡±

    ¡°My job to keep you fed and clothed and all that other stuff,¡± Iri said, a smile in her voice. But she let Yan spend the rest of the ride in silence, not bothering her until they arrived at Yan¡¯s apartment building. She shook Yan¡¯s shoulder to get her attention, and Yan cracked her eyes open and stared at the tall building. The familiar sight suddenly warmed her heart, and she was looking forward to nothing more than sleeping in her own bed. She hadn¡¯t expected to feel that way, but maybe it was Sylva that had made her feel so much more comforted by everything here on Emerri.

    Yan headed up to the floor that she shared with Kino and Sid, and knocked on Kino¡¯s door.

    Kino came to the door, wearing nothing but her undershirt and a pair of shorts. She looked flatly at Yan. ¡°You eaten dinner yet?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You want some?¡±

    Kino shrugged, which Yan interpreted to mean yes.

    ¡°I¡¯ll see if Sid wants to go out. Or we can order a pizza or something.¡± Yan turned away from Kino, who went to go find her cassock to pull on. She rang Sid¡¯s doorbell, which she knew flashed the lights inside his apartment. When there was no answer, Yan reached out her power to prod at Sid. But her power slid through his apartment without encountering any living human. Sid was not in his apartment.

    Any warmth and tiredness she had been feeling vanished, with the feeling of ice water pouring through her limbs. She turned around to find Kino standing waiting behind her. ¡°Did you see Sid leave?¡± she asked.

    ¡°No.¡± She closed her eyes, and Yan could feel her power move past, doing the same search that Yan had just performed. ¡°He¡¯s gone.¡±

    Yan was already pulling out her phone. Her first thought was to call Sid, which she did. She pressed her phone to her ear, and listened to the droning dial tone, such that she missed the very faint buzzing sound coming from within Sid¡¯s apartment until Kino tugged her hand away from her ear and pointed at the door to listen. There was Sid¡¯s phone, buzzing on his desk, inside his apartment, without him there.

    Yan hung up and immediately dialed Iri, who picked up immediately, sounding only a little grumpy. ¡°Need me to find you dinner after all?¡±

    ¡°Do you know where Sid is?¡±

    There was a momentary silence on the end of the line, and Yan heard the telltale sound of Iri putting her on speakerphone. ¡°He¡¯s not in his apartment?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Stay where you are,¡± Iri said.

 Sid.

    Sid.

    an didn¡¯t exactly obey Iri¡¯s order. As soon as Iri hung up the phone, and before she could arrive, Yan pressed the palm of her hand to Sid¡¯s door. She unlocked it with the power; although she knew this would set off alarms in Stonecourt, she didn¡¯t think anyone would mind her doing it. Kino watched her apathetically as Yan shoved open the door and burst inside.

    The interior of Sid¡¯s apartment was very clean¡ª sterile, even¡ª because he had thoroughly put everything away in preparation for their trip to Olar. The few hours in which he might have been inside it had done nothing to disrupt its dark order. She immediately saw his phone sitting on the coffee table, and she picked it up and tried to unlock it. She didn¡¯t know his password, though, so this was useless.

    She made a cursory inspection of all of the obvious surfaces in the apartment¡ª desk, dining table, counters, bookshelves¡ª looking to see if Sid had left a note. He hadn¡¯t, at least none that Yan could see. His computer and tablet and everything official of his was left dumped on his bed, like he had shaken it all out of his bag. His closet contained all his cassocks, but when Yan pulled open his bureau drawers, she found that they had been cleaned out of socks and underwear, and none of his casual tee-shirts remained. He was running, and he had somehow managed to leave the building without anyone noticing.

    For someone with the power, it was probably very easy to leave unnoticed, even if he hadn¡¯t messed with the cameras. All the cameras and security surrounding their apartment were meant to detect intrusions, not escapes. After all, it wasn¡¯t like they were prisoners. Still, Yan glanced around the apartment, and discovered that one of the wooden dining chairs was missing, leaving an odd number.

    Yan had a sinking feeling that she knew exactly what Sid had done. She investigated the back window, not the one in his bedroom that looked out over the fire escape, but the other one in his bathroom. She compared the size of a dining chair to the window frame, saw the evidence of fingerprints on the outside of the glass, where Sid must have pressed his hand for support.

    As Yan examined this, Iri arrived, followed in to the apartment by Kino, who shuffled around silently, not investigating so much as observing.

    ¡°No one saw him leave,¡± Iri said, out of breath as she found Yan in the bathroom.

    Yan pointed at the handprint on the outside of the glass.

    ¡°It¡¯s too high up for him to climb down,¡± Iri said.

    Yan went back out into the dining area, followed by Iri, and sat down on one of the nice dining chairs. She gripped the seat with white knuckles, and it was a very simple matter to grab the chair with the power and lift it wholesale off the ground, with her on it. It was a stupid trick, one that led to the lion¡¯s share of injuries among young students at the Academy, before they figured out that getting distracted while fifteen feet in the air was a great way to break an arm, at best. Sid, with years of experience using the power, could probably maneuver himself safely up and away¡ª for at least as long as it would take to get out of sight of all the building¡¯s cameras.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Iri said as Yan levitated in the chair before her.

    Yan dropped back down to the ground with a thump. ¡°He¡¯s gone,¡± she said. ¡°He took all his casual clothes. I think he¡¯s running, not just doing something momentarily stupid.¡±

    ¡°Any clue how long he¡¯s been gone?¡±

    Yan pulled Sid¡¯s phone from her pocket and tried to glean how long it had been by the amount of charge remaining, but there was no real way to tell.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Hernan?¡± Yan asked, wondering if Sid¡¯s minder had any clues.

    ¡°He¡¯s gone home,¡± Iri said. ¡°Unlike me, he didn¡¯t have to be on duty all afternoon. I think he actually has all of next week off, technically. Everyone who came to Olar was given some time off¡ª everyone on duty now is temporarily reassigned from Stonecourt general security¡±

    ¡°You should have told Halen to let you go home immediately,¡± Yan said, feeling bad that she had delayed Iri from taking time off. This momentarily distracted her from Sid¡¯s disappearance.

    ¡°Forget about that right now,¡± Iri said. ¡°I¡¯ve alerted¡ª¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell Sandreas and Halen,¡± Yan said. ¡°They¡¯ll be so mad.¡±

    ¡°You think this can be kept a secret from Halen?¡± Iri asked. ¡°You¡¯re incredible.¡±

    ¡°No¡ª I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll find out eventually, but if we can get Sid to come back before Halen has to get involved, then Sandreas will have less reason to be mad.¡±

    ¡°You think so,¡± Iri said. But she sighed. ¡°I¡¯ve already let the rest of the security team know that something is up, if you breaking in hadn¡¯t alerted them already. I can¡¯t keep this a secret. And I¡¯m on thin ice with First Sandreas¡ª I don¡¯t think I would keep my job if I didn¡¯t follow procedure for this.¡±

    ¡°Can you at least tell them it¡¯s not an emergency, and that Halen doesn¡¯t need to be notified right this second?¡± she begged.

    ¡°You think you can find him?¡± Iri asked. ¡°Do you have any clues where he might be?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s pretty conspicuous,¡± Yan said. ¡°I think he¡¯s probably aiming for the elevator. And he¡¯ll have to show ID at the very least to go up, and a note from a captain to board a ship, probably, unless he thinks that just his name will be enough to get a ship to take him on as a passenger. And he¡¯d have to get on a plane to get to the elevator in the first place.¡±

    Iri pinched her lips. ¡°He could be taking a train to the elevator. Don¡¯t need ID for that if he chains local route to local route. I don¡¯t know how much of a rush he¡¯s in. And how do you know he¡¯s headed there?¡±

    ¡°He wanted to stay behind on the  First Star  until it docked,¡± Yan said. ¡°I think he¡¯s looking for a way off planet. He might be going back to Galena.¡±

    Iri was thinking out loud. ¡°That¡¯s where his family is. Right. Did he say he wanted to leave?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I mean, you you know he¡¯s been weird, but¡ª I didn¡¯t think¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yeah, of course not. You would have kept an eye on him if you had thought he was going to do something stupid.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yan said. She bit her lip, feeling guilty about having not put the pieces together before this second, and for giving Sid too much time to slip out from under her nose. If she hadn¡¯t gone with Sylva, she might have noticed him leaving. She definitely would have noticed him using the power to fly away. But it probably hadn¡¯t just been pure impulse on Sid¡¯s part to leave as soon as Yan was out of the way¡ª he had clearly been thinking about it for a while. Maybe the best she could have done by staying nearby was delay it¡ª after all, she would leave the building sometime

    There was a moment of painful silence. ¡°Right,¡± Iri said, gathering her thoughts. ¡°I¡¯m going to get a watch set up at every train station, bus station, everything.¡±

    ¡°Without telling Halen?¡±

    ¡°Look, Yan, he¡¯s going to find out. You¡¯ll be lucky if the only thing that Sid gets is yelled at.¡±

    Kino spoke up. She had gone to look out the window, and wasn¡¯t facing Yan and Iri. ¡°You should let him get what he wants,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°What?¡± Yan asked, shocked.

    ¡°He wants to leave. Let him go,¡± Kino reiterated. ¡°Even you think that Sandreas might dismiss him anyway. Just let him go.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Yan said. ¡°He¡¯s making a huge mistake¡ª leaving everything he has here.¡±

    ¡°Not everything,¡± Kino said. ¡°He has a home to go back to.¡±

    That was a low blow. Yan stood. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let him throw away his life. Why would you want him to? You can¡¯t hate him that much.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hate him,¡± Kino said. She still hadn¡¯t turned around to look at Yan. ¡°He¡¯s making the right choice.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    Kino turned around, and the expression on her usually still face surprised Yan. Her eyebrows were furrowed, but her eyes were wide¡ª it wasn¡¯t an expression of disdain for Sid, at the very least. ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to be responsible for all of this,¡± she said. ¡°Let him put it down.¡± She was almost begging.

    ¡°That¡¯s not why he¡¯s leaving,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Then why?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said. ¡°But Sid isn¡¯t¡ª he doesn¡¯t want to avoid responsibility. He just¡­¡±

    Kino turned away again. ¡°It¡¯s better to let him go.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I¡¯m going to find him. You don¡¯t have to help, but I am going to. Iri?¡±

    ¡°Regardless of Sid¡¯s feelings,¡± Iri said. ¡°I think it is important to make sure that he hasn¡¯t been kidnapped.¡±

    That was a possibility that Yan hadn¡¯t even considered, and her blood ran cold. ¡°Do you think¡ª¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Iri said. ¡°But Halen and First Sandreas would want to make sure that he¡¯s safe. And if he wants to go back home, then he can do it by leaving in a way that doesn¡¯t embarrass the whole government.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Yan said. ¡°Right. Kino¡ª even if we find him, he might still want to leave. I don¡¯t think First Sandreas would stop him.¡±

    ¡°But you would,¡± Kino said. ¡°That¡¯s why he left without telling you.¡±

    ¡°How could I stop him?¡± Yan asked. ¡°Clearly he¡ª¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s your friend,¡± Kino said, as if that explained it all. Maybe it did.

    Although this bolstered Yan¡¯s resolve to find Sid, she just frowned. ¡°Are you going to help find him or not?¡±

    ¡°If you want me to,¡± Kino said. She closed her eyes briefly. ¡°But I won¡¯t try to make him stay.¡±

    If that was as good as Yan was going to get, she would take it. Having two power users search for Sid was far easier than having just one.

    Iri was looking around the apartment to see if there were any further clues about where Sid had gone. She fished through the pile of stuff he had left on his bed. ¡°His wallet isn¡¯t here,¡± she said. ¡°Probably means he took his charge card and is intending to spend money somewhere.¡±

    ¡°You can track that?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°I will put in some phone calls to get that data to me, yes,¡± Iri said.

    ¡°Ah,¡± Yan said. She didn¡¯t know how she felt about all her purchases being visible to Halen¡ª not like she ever bought anything in particular¡ª but she should have probably assumed that they were. It was helpful now, at least. ¡°Do that, then.¡±

    ¡°I will while we¡¯re in the car.¡± She gestured for Yan and Kino to follow her out, and they left Sid¡¯s apartment and headed downstairs to where the car was waiting, still full of the security staff who had been watching over Yan and Sylva. ¡°Airport, train station, bus stop¡­?¡± Iri asked Yan as they got in the car.

    ¡°Let¡¯s drive around this area first,¡± Yan said. ¡°Maybe he hasn¡¯t gone very far. And you make the calls you need to¡ª and that might give us some clues.¡±

    The car pulled out into traffic, and they started to circle in an ever widening radius. Yan closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window. She would have looked asleep to any observer, but she was deeply immersed in the power, casting it out in a wide bubble, passing over every person and car and building that they passed, searching for the familiar feeling of Sid. The panic of losing him gave her an extra push, her power extending half a block further than it had any right to; she was focused like the edge of a knife, much like she had been on the  Sky Boat . But this time, there was no need for her to push her feelings away. She needed to find Sid.

    Next to her, Kino was doing the same; Yan only felt her slippery power when it passed directly through her own body, but she was comforted to know that Kino was searching with her. Yan tuned out the sound of Iri making phone calls. They drove around the area for about a half hour, moving in the opposite direction from Stonecourt, but no matter how far out Yan cast her power, there was no sign of Sid. Every second that stretched on was one where Sid was getting further away.

    Iri¡¯s phone calls ended after some time, and she silently tapped out messages on her phone. To whom, Yan didn¡¯t know. At this point, the fear was really beginning to set in, and, although she knew logically that there were only so many places for Sid to go, and nowhere for him to hide while on Emerri, she still couldn¡¯t help but feel a kind of despair. She was tempted to change her mind and get Iri to call Halen directly to find Sid. When Yan imagined this happening, she pictured Halen finding him instantly.

    But that would have been worse for Sid, she thought. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if Halen was the one to find and confront Sid, there would be no way he would return to his apprenticeship. He would leave. Kino must not have realized that, or must have thought that there was no way that she and Yan would actually find Sid, because she would have pushed for Halen to do the searching in that case.

    ¡°Got him,¡± Iri said triumphantly. ¡°Got you now.¡±

    Yan¡¯s eyes flew open. ¡°Where is he?¡±

    ¡°A convenience store near the train station,¡± Iri said. ¡°Looks like you were right, and it looks like he¡¯s buying himself some dinner. He withdrew a bunch of cash.¡± The car immediately turned in that direction, the driver swerving through traffic effortlessly.

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    ¡°How long ago was this?¡±

    ¡°About a half hour.¡±

    ¡°Are there any trains that have left since then?¡±

    Iri checked. ¡°No, and there aren¡¯t any heading anywhere in the direction of the elevator for the rest of the night, actually. He¡¯s probably going to have to find somewhere to wait. I doubt he wants to wait in the station, even if he has to buy his ticket now. He might be doing that with cash, to avoid the travel logs having too much of a record of him.¡±

    That was Sid: clever enough to know to avoid that type of monitoring, but forgetful about how far Halen and Sandreas¡¯s security apparatus could extend.

    Yan gripped her knees as the drove, and only resumed searching for Sid with the power when they came closer to the train station. Yan didn¡¯t feel Sid inside as they pulled up.

    ¡°He¡¯s not here,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°He¡¯ll have to come here eventually, even if we can¡¯t find him now,¡± Iri said. She ordered a couple of the security force to head inside anyway and watch for Sid and speak to the stationmaster and station security.

    As the car idled in the passenger drop off zone, Yan squeezed her eyes shut and extended her power to the maximum extent of its range, trying to sense even the tiniest hint of Sid¡¯s presence. But he wasn¡¯t anywhere to be found.

    ¡°Is there anywhere around here that would be a good place to wait for a train, if he¡¯s not going to sit in the station?¡± Yan asked. She wasn¡¯t very familiar with this part of Yora city. The train station was closer to the edge of the city, among some of the slightly more industrial areas and the outskirts that turned into forest. Yan had rarely had opportunity or reason to come here while she was a student. She wished momentarily that Sylva was with her, since Sylva had often taken the train to visit her family elsewhere on Emerri. She knew this part of the city well.

    Iri looked out the window. ¡°There¡¯s the nature park not far from here,¡± she said. ¡°Is Sid a camper?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Yan said. ¡°But that¡¯s not a place that a lot of people would go during the night, so it might make sense if he¡¯s trying not to be seen.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Iri said. ¡°And keep watching the streets while we drive. He could have done the easy thing and gotten a hotel, or found a cafe to sit in all night. There¡¯s not much in the way of that in easy walking distance of here, though,¡± Iri said. ¡°And I doubt he took a bus elsewhere.¡±

    Yan nodded, and the car sped off, taking a new, winding route away from the train station. She kept casting out her power, fishing for Sid. None of the buildings seemed likely at all, and her search in that direction overlapped with places she had looked on their drive in. But the forest on the other side of the tracks seemed more and more promising, dark and deep.

    They drove along the outskirts of it, and Yan¡¯s power glanced over something familiar: a glimpse of Sid, moving quickly. Faster than walking. The feeling of him disappeared as quickly as it had come¡ª she had just brushed him on the very far edge of her range, and now had lost him again, but it jolted her like an electric shock, and she sat bolt upright in her seat.

    ¡°Stop!¡± she yelled. ¡°I felt him!¡±

    They were unfortunately driving along a busy road without a shoulder, and the park area was surrounded by a high chain link fence. Neither of these obstacles truly would have stopped them, but as Yan breathlessly explained that she had lost Sid¡¯s trace, Iri decided it would be fine to keep driving until they could park the car and enter the park thorough a gate.

    Now that Sid was located, Iri seemed relieved, like the whole situation was suddenly less urgent. But for Yan, the urgency only ramped up. She wanted to leap from the car and find Sid immediately, to run headlong through the dark woods until she found him, to track him down with all her power.

    She leaned forward in her seat, straining physically just as she strained with the power.

    ¡°Calm down, Yan,¡± Iri said. ¡°We¡¯ll find him.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± But that didn¡¯t stop the feeling of urgency. It was Kino¡¯s hand on Yan¡¯s arm that made her relax a little, Kino pushing her back into her seat. Yan glanced at her, ready to be annoyed, but Kino¡¯s expression was one more of a wide-eyed sympathy than anything. Yan slumped back until the car parked, and then she did jump out, stumbling on the gravel lot and barely catching herself from falling.

    The nature park was dark, the sun having gone down behind the tall, thick pines. The whole air was full of their smell, and their discarded brown needles slid with a shushing sound beneath Yan¡¯s feet, softening the crunch of the gravel. The wind blew, and the trees groaned and creaked. The whole scene had an air of desolation about it, and it made Yan shiver.

    Iri opened the trunk of the car to grab some of the standard security equipment that they came with: flashlights and everything else, but Kino made that unnecessary. With the power, she gathered dry pine needles into a ball in the air, and lit them on fire¡ª a glowing glob of torchlight that she kept contained to light the whole path in front of them, far better than the flashlights that Iri carried.

    Yan turned to the few remaining members of the security team. ¡°You should stay here, or not follow us,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to scare Sid.¡±

    Iri was on the verge of disagreeing, but she gave the order to agree with Yan. If anything was going to go wrong, it seemed unlikely that the two security forces members, neither of whom were power users, would be able to do something that Yan and Kino couldn¡¯t. All they would be would be extra eyes on the scene, and Yan and Kino were both going to be hyper-aware of everything around them as they searched for Sid using the power.

    Yan began to jog off into the woods. It was difficult to keep her bearing on the loose dirt riddled with rocks and tangled tree roots, especially in the dark with only the dancing light of Kino¡¯s fireball before her illuminating the way. She eventually gave up on looking with her eyes, closing them and using her power to guide her steps, giving herself a topographic map of the area in front of her feet as she took in her awareness of the huge hemisphere of the world before her. Sid was out there somewhere, and she would find him.

    Kino was looking around with keener eyes, studying the ground in front of them, looking not just for Sid in the power, but for any traces of the route that he might have followed. Any discarded granola bar wrapper on the ground was a potential clue, and any footprints, though it was unlikely that they belonged to Sid. There were many paths he could have taken, and Yan doubted they were on the right one. Iri seemed to know her way around the trails, and she directed Yan and Kino down the widest one, the one that would bring them most deeply into the park as quickly as possible.

    Although it felt like an eternity, their jog through the dark forest, and it left Yan out of breath, it couldn¡¯t have been very long before she caught wind of Sid again. He moved into and out of her detection radius for a little while longer, and Yan hastened their pace, but after about five more minutes of this finding him and losing him again, he stayed a shining beacon in Yan¡¯s mental view. He must have gotten tired of walking, because he had sat down on a rock, Yan could feel it. He didn¡¯t know he was being followed, or he certainly would have kept moving, or found some way to evade them.

    As they came closer, Yan wasn¡¯t sure if it would be better to approach Sid directly, to let him know that they were coming, or to sneak up on him. It probably wouldn¡¯t be idea to burst in to his clearing at a run, so Yan told Iri and Kino to slow down. It gave her a chance to catch her breath, anyway.

    It didn¡¯t matter that they were loud as they entered Sid¡¯s clearing, and they ended up coming through the last line of trees behind him. He was sitting cross legged on a flat boulder, with a soda bottle next to him, and his dinner, a wrapped sandwich, on his knees. He was dressed in a windbreaker and jeans, with his hood pulled up over his head. Because he had his own glowing light source above him, he didn¡¯t immediately notice the intrusion of Kino¡¯s into the clearing, until the dancing shadows it caused made him turn his head and look behind him.

    When he saw Yan, Kino, and Iri, he stood, knocking his sandwich to the ground. He looked around, balling his fists, and he seemed on the verge of running.

    ¡°Stop!¡± Yan signed. She saw that he wasn¡¯t wearing his glasses¡ª they were tucked inside his windbreaker pocket. ¡°Don¡¯t go anywhere.¡±

    ¡°You going to stop me?¡± Sid asked aloud.

    ¡°Where are you trying to go?¡± She kept having to sign, since he made no move to put his glasses on.

    ¡°None of your business,¡± Sid said. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to get you involved in this.¡±

    ¡°Are you quitting the apprenticeship?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°It really doesn¡¯t matter to you.¡± He folded his arms across his chest.

    Kino stalked over to Sid. He flinched back when she reached out for the pocket on his chest where his glasses were resting, and he slapped her hand away when she tried to grab them. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me,¡± he said.

    ¡°She just wants to talk to you,¡± Yan signed.

    Kino reached again for Sid¡¯s glasses, and again was slapped back. Sid pulled the glasses out of his pocket and chucked them into the underbrush at the side of the clearing. Iri jogged to retrieve them.

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing that anybody needs to say to me,¡± Sid said. ¡°Just leave me the fuck alone.¡±

    ¡°She wants to let you leave,¡± Yan signed. ¡°If there¡¯s anyone you should want to speak to, it¡¯s her. She¡¯s not going to try to convince you to stay.¡±

    ¡°And you are?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± Yan signed. She tried to put as much pleading in her gestures as she could, but the pleading was already bleeding out into anger. She was as annoyed at Sid as Kino was.

    Iri found the glasses and held them out. Kino used the power to summon them out of her hand and into her own. Sid looked at her coldly for a moment before snatching them away and putting them on his face. ¡°What do you want?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Explain to Yan why you want to leave,¡± Kino said. ¡°It¡¯s the least you can do.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°She might go with you,¡± Kino said.

    Sid narrowed his eyes at her. ¡°What the fuck are you talking about?¡± he asked. ¡°You¡¯re trying to get rid of her?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kino said. ¡°But it would be better if you both left.¡±

    ¡°So you want to be the only candidate for First.¡±

    Kino cocked her head. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Then why are you even here? Go away.¡±

    ¡°Yan asked me to come.¡±

    ¡°You could have just left me alone, if you wanted to come here and gloat over you winning and me losing.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not gloating,¡± Kino said. She stared at Sid¡¯s face, trying to make him understand something. ¡°I wish¡ª¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sid said.

    ¡°Tell Yan why you¡¯re leaving,¡± Kino said.

    ¡°It really doesn¡¯t fucking matter! I can¡¯t handle it, and Yan can! That¡¯s all!¡±

    ¡°What can¡¯t you handle?¡± Kino leaned towards him, getting in his face, and Sid shoved her back.

    ¡°You think I could convince Yan to leave with me¡ª you¡¯re fucking stupid. I don¡¯t get people to follow me¡ª this whole time I¡¯ve just been doing whatever Yan wanted. Sandreas knows that I¡¯m not good enough to do this stupid fucking job.¡±

    Kino had been right: the reason Sid had snuck out without even saying goodbye was because he thought that she would try to convince him otherwise. It lifted Yan¡¯s sprits, but she was not so stupid as to yell out that Sid should embrace following her and come back.

    But what Sid had said made Kino stop and step back. It was not the answer that she had expected or wanted.

    ¡°Fine,¡± Kino said. Her voice grew cold more than it was flat. ¡°Then prove you don¡¯t just do what Yan says by leaving.¡±

    ¡°Kino!¡± Yan yelped. ¡°Stop it!¡± She regretted bringing Kino with her. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time when they had left their apartments, but she seemed determined to make things worse. She really did want Sid to leave, for her own reasons.

    ¡°Maybe I will,¡± Sid said. He folded his arms, but he glanced at Yan with something half-genuine in his expression. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°Are you really just leaving because of what Sandreas said?¡± Yan asked. ¡°None of that matters.¡±

    ¡°It does.¡± He shrugged.¡±If I wouldn¡¯t make a good First, there¡¯s no reason for Sandreas to keep me. I¡¯d rather quit than be fired.¡± Some of the anger had slipped away, but this half-logical justification was worse.

    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t send you away.¡±

    ¡°Not even for this?¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t know you¡¯ve left yet. I made Iri not tell him.¡± Yan didn¡¯t know if this was actually true¡ª Halen probably knew¡ª but it was worth a try.

    Sid let out a harsh laugh. ¡°Sure.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to go.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Sid asked. ¡°You¡¯re perfectly capable on your own. And you have Kino.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± There wasn¡¯t really any way that she could express in words how much it had meant to her to have Sid by her side on the Sky Boat , and she didn¡¯t think that he would appreciate her bringing it back up. ¡°You¡¯re my friend,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be without you.¡±

    ¡°Maybe Kino¡¯s right.¡±

    ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°I could convince you to come home with me instead, if you really do care that much. My sister would love you.¡±

    ¡°Sid¡ª¡±

    ¡°I know. I¡¯m joking.¡± He turned to Kino, who was scowling the ground. ¡°Why did you say that?¡±

    ¡°Because you might have had a reason worth listening to,¡± she said, kicking at the ground. Pine needles scattered beneath her feet, revealing bare brown dirt.

    ¡°Such as?¡±

    Kino¡¯s whole posture stiffened, and she raised her voice. ¡°I thought you might care about the meaning of the orders you could give. But you just want to be the one who comes up with the orders. You don¡¯t care at all if people die. If you had said that you didn¡¯t want blood on your hands, maybe Yan would follow you.¡± She turned away, and it was clear that she was restraining herself from lashing out at Sid. Her fists and jaw were clenched. ¡°It¡¯s better if you go, if you don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°You think I don¡¯t care?¡± Sid asked. He suddenly reached into his pocket, and a brief investigation with Yan¡¯s power revealed that he was clutching his tin of vena, hard enough to deform the thin top of the tin with his fingers. His tone was becoming rough and unmodulated, losing control of the language that he usually put so much deliberate effort into. ¡°You weren¡¯t there, Kino. You don¡¯t know anything about what it is like.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know!?¡± Kino yelled. And she whirled back around and leapt at Sid, reaching out to grab him by his collar.

    The only reaction that Yan could think to have was to use the power to grab the back of both their shirts, and haul them back away from each other, both stumbling backwards on the loose ground. Yan let them go as soon as they were outside of each other¡¯s arms¡¯ reach.

    ¡°Stop it!¡± Yan yelled. ¡°Just stop!¡±

    Even though they had barely touched each other, Sid and Kino were both breathing heavily and glaring at each other.

    ¡°Sid,¡± Yan said, ¡°if you really want to go, I can¡¯t stop you. But you should at least tell Sandreas that you¡¯re leaving. He won¡¯t try to stop you if you really want to leave. I know he won¡¯t.¡± She thought of her uncle, and the promise First Sandreas had made to him. She was sure the same thing was true for Sid and Kino, even if no one had been around to extract such promises from him.

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to try to convince me to stay?¡±

    Yan spread her hands helplessly, gesturing at Kino and Sid and the whole world. ¡°I don¡¯t want to make you miserable just because you¡¯re my friend,¡± she said. ¡°If you¡¯d be happier going back to your family, or wherever it is that you want to go, I don¡¯t want to hurt you by¡ª¡± She had run out of words. ¡°If you hate being First Sandreas¡¯s apprentice, I¡ª I know it¡¯s not that you hate being my friend. It¡¯s just the way life is.¡±

    Sid switched to sign. Kino probably understood enough of it that she could understand their conversation if she paid attention, but it was still his private language with Yan, in a way. ¡°Would you have come with me if I had found the right argument?¡± Sid asked. ¡°Is Kino right?¡±

    Yan thought about it for a second, then shook her head. It was the same answer she had given to Sandreas, the same answer she had given to her uncle, and¡ª in a way¡ª the same answer she had given to Sylva, a long time ago now. ¡°I don¡¯t think I could leave,¡± Yan replied.

    ¡°You¡¯re stronger than I am.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    She took a chance. ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯re really going to leave, either.¡±

    He almost got angry at her. She could see it in the way his shoulders stiffened, and the flash of a sneer across his face. But then his shoulders slumped. ¡°I¡¯m going to let you tell me what to do,¡± he said. ¡°Just do what you want, and what Sandreas wants.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yan said. ¡°That¡¯s not right.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯m going to stay just to spite her?¡± And he jerked his thumb in Kino¡¯s direction.

    ¡°No.¡± She took a few steps closer to Sid, so close that it was almost difficult for him to see her sign near her chest. ¡°You just understand that even if someone is telling you to do something, it¡¯s still a choice that you¡¯re making for yourself. If you understand that, it doesn¡¯t matter what anybody else says.¡±

    His expression was almost pitying. ¡°It must be nice to think that you aren¡¯t a person who will bend under pressure, or moved around like a puppet.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± Yan said.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sid said aloud. And Yan knew that she had convinced him, or given him the space to convince himself. He had to be staying because he actually wanted to¡ª Yan¡¯s attempt at convincing him had only given him an excuse to stay, one that he was primed to hear, even if the way he interpreted it wasn¡¯t flattering to himself. She wondered what it would cost¡ª Sid looked defeated. ¡°Fine,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll stay. Sorry, Kino. Yan wins.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a game,¡± Kino said. She turned away. ¡°I don¡¯t care what you do.¡±

    She began to stalk back towards the path, where Iri was standing and watching. She passed Iri and vanished into the dark trees, though her radiant fireball followed her and bobbed away until it, too, vanished into the darkness. Iri watched her go, and almost started to follow her, but remembered that Kino was impossible to follow unless she wanted to be followed, and remained with Yan and Sid.

    ¡°Are you really staying?¡± Yan asked.

    ¡°Unless Sandreas kicks me out,¡± Sid said. He gathered up his garbage that had fallen on the ground and shoved his hands into the pockets of his windbreaker. ¡°I guess.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad,¡± Yan said. She nudged him with her elbow, and he let her lean against him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder so that they could walk out together. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to leave.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said. ¡°That¡¯s why I tried to go without you noticing.¡±

    ¡°That would have made it worse,¡± she said. ¡°If you left, and I didn¡¯t get to say goodbye to you. I would have been¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± He kicked some of the pine needles on the ground as they walked. ¡°Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do this again.¡±

    ¡°I probably won¡¯t,¡± Sid said. ¡°I try to do new and stupider things every time.¡±

    Yan squeezed his shoulders. They were passing back into the path, and Iri followed behind them. ¡°Sandreas is going to be mad, probably.¡±

    ¡°I thought you said you didn¡¯t tell him.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s definitely going to find out.¡±

    ¡°Hah.¡± Sid wrestled himself out from under Yan¡¯s arm. ¡°Well there¡¯s not much he can do to me if he isn¡¯t going to kick me out.¡±

    ¡°I hope you¡¯re right,¡± Yan said. She was less worried about Sandreas¡¯s punishment than she could have been. It all seemed immaterial next to the buoying fact that Sid was in front of her, and they were going home. She found herself smiling at him as he tripped his way backwards through the dark and rutted path, and he found it within himself to smile back at her.

    His smile lasted until they reached the end of the path, until they reached the gloom of twilight in the parking area, where a swarm of cars were waiting. Halen leaned against the closest one.