《Ira and Devona. Existara Series》 1. The Horrid Reality I feel like my entire body is underwater. I run full speed and yet my body feels heavy like it''s made of led. All I hear is the pounding of my own heart. My chest feels tight too. I breathe mouthfuls of air and yet I''m suffocating. My visions a stinging blur from the sweat. This isn''t happening. This can''t be real... The entire city is in mourning. Every soul. Every creature. I run into the front yard of the Palace and stop. Red and blue flowers lay by the entrance... No... I slowly walk past them and go inside. The eyes of the guards follow me without a sound. A Palace maiden spots me and runs over to me in sheer panic. ¡°Master Ira! Please! Save the child!¡± She clings to my shirt. Desperate. ¡°The child?¡± ¡°The Priestess has locked herself inside her room for weeks now! We haven''t seen either one of them in days! She stopped eating! Nobody has even heard the child cry! Please! PLEASE!!¡± I pluck her grips off myself. ¡°I understand. I''ll take care of it.¡± ¡°MASTER!¡± ¡°CHIEF!¡± Voices and footsteps flood the corridor. Men drop to their knees in front of me. ¡°WE FAILED!¡± ¡°KILL US!¡± ¡°PLEASE!¡± ¡°NOT NOW!¡± I roar down on them. ¡°I''ll deal with you lot after I confirm the Heir''s condition.¡± I walk away from the men. A small crowd is gathered in front of the bedroom door. They clear a path for me. I knock on the door. ¡°LEAVE!¡± A shriek. I try the handle. Locked. ¡°Will somebody care to explain it to me why the Hell nobody has torn down this door yet?¡± ¡°It''s the Priestess''s...¡± ¡°We don''t dare...¡± ¡°Your cowardice may have cost the life of the first-born Heir to Noxanda! Now is not the time for titles and rules to get in the way!¡± I ram a dagger into the lock and tear it apart. I kick the door in. ¡°I SAID GET OUT!!!¡± Another shriek. The windows are closed shut too... I walk over to the bed. A quiet humming reaches me. Devona sits on the floor, by the bed, cradling a sleeping child... She''s skin and bones... Both of them... Don''t tell me... A crack beneath my foot. I stepped on a bottle. I try to see in the dim light of a single candle. Vials are scattered all around her. Potions. Probably. I carefully crouch down and try to reach for her. ¡°Devona?¡± ¡°Wykren! Look! She has your eyes! Pretty baby! See! Look how pretty she is! Our little Gazarria... Your greatest treasure...¡± My blood freezes... ¡°Yes. She''s pretty... Very... Can I hold her, now? Please?¡± I kneel down by her side. ¡°Huh?¡± Devona turns to me. ¡°Who... I...ra...¡± Oh no. Her eyes scream in pain, her face rearranges itself into another shriek. ¡°GET OUT!!!¡± She turns the child away from me. I grab Devona''s arm. She struggles. ¡°Devona! Give me the child!¡± ¡°NO! ONLY WYKREN CAN HOLD HER! LET GO!¡± ¡°NO! YOU LET GO! DEVONA! STOP! YOU''RE KILLING HER!¡± She tries to fend me off with one hand. I grab it with ease. I can feel the bones of the arm rub together... Don''t do this... ¡°I SAID NO!!¡± She persists. ¡°DEVONA!! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT WHAT YOU''VE DONE!¡± I struggle to take the child from her mother, without hurting either one of them. ¡°WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT HIS FLESH AND BLOOD THIS WAY!¡± Devona freezes for a moment. ¡°I don''t care what you do to yourself, but don''t you dare harm his child!¡± Her grip loosens. I take the chance and take the child from her arms. I rustle in the dark for the pulse... Please... Please... There! Thank the Stars... ¡°Wy...kren...¡± Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. I wave over to someone. A maiden scrambles over and takes the child from me. ¡°Make sure she gets everything she needs. Keep her alive no matter what!¡± I whisper. ¡°Yes, Master.¡± The girl nods and crawls away. The rest of the spectators disappear as well. ¡°Wy...kren...¡± Right. One more problem to solve... ¡°Devona?¡± I try to reach for her again. ¡°Wykren! Where''s Wykren! Where IS HE!¡± She shrieks again, throwing herself at me. I grab her wrists. She struggles. ¡°WYKREEEEEEN!¡± ¡°HE''S GONE! YOU KNOW THAT!¡± I try to contain her, but lose my balance instead and fall on my back, with a raging Devona over me. ¡°LIES! ALL LIES!¡± ¡°DEVONA! SNAP OUT OF IT! WYKREN''S GONE!¡± ¡°NO! HE CAN''T BE! HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED TO COME BACK!!¡± ¡°HE''S NOT COMING BACK! EVER!!¡± I struggle to calm her without injuring her... ¡°LIAR!! HE CAN''T BE GONE!! HE can''t... Leave me... I can''t... Do this... Alone...¡± She gives out and slumps mid-air. I carefully wrangle out from under her and lower her hands to the ground. She curls up in a ball on the spot. ¡°Wykren... I want my Wykren...¡± Her cries pick up again. ¡°WYKREEEEEEEEEEN!!!¡± She screams and cries, and all I can do is sit there and watch it happen... You, BASTARD! What gave you the right to go off and die like that! See what you''ve done now! Tears wet my eyes... I didn''t think I had those anymore... Devona''s cries quiet down a little. She gasps for air and passes out on the floor. I pick her up and lay her down in the bed, tucking her in. ¡°Master?¡± A single Robe stands in the doorway with a candle in hand. I walk over closer to him. ¡°How''s the Heir?¡± ¡°Stable. Now. Malnourished though...¡± ¡°Can you help her?¡± ¡°Well... The thing is...¡± ¡°Spit it out already.¡± I growl under my breath. ¡°The child needs the mother''s milk...¡± ¡°The mother is not exactly in the right state of mind for that, or health, for the matter.¡± ¡°Sadly...¡± ¡°Can you find a substitute?¡± ¡°Perhaps if another mother were to...¡± ¡°No. Find another way.¡± I shake my head. ¡°Use goat''s milk or something.¡± ¡°Master, with all due respect, sustenance from an animal is... Not safe...¡± ¡°Then make it safe! There are plenty of Cleansers here! Purify it if you must! Or find someone who will!¡± I glare at the old man. ¡°He nods. Perhaps that could work...¡± ¡°Good. Make it happen. The sooner the better.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Is that all?¡± I stare at the Robe. ¡°No. There is an avalanche of problems and no-one to solve them.¡± How bold of him to point that out now. ¡°I''ll take care of it. Have everything laid out and sorted by urgency on the desk in the Throne Hall.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± The man hesitates. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Master, are we to assume you shall be staying with us? Considering...¡± I grin. ¡°I left you people in charge and you let your King die. The Queen has gone mad with grief under your watch. Not to mention that you failed to secure the safety of the Heir too. Need I even mention that the one and only legendary and sacred Saber is nowhere to be seen, either?¡± The man looks away from me. I carry on. ¡°This entire horrid reality happened thanks to all of your collective mistakes. I am well aware the kind of a reckless fool our King was. But you people should have been prepared for that. It should have been your responsibility to stop him at all cost. Yet you hide behind titles and rules to justify your spineless attitude. Tell me. When was the last time any of you saw the King do the same?¡± The realization in the Robes eyes reflects nicely in the weak light. ¡°To answer your question. No. I won''t simply be staying with you. I will have your heads for your incompetence! Now get out of my sight.¡± The Robe nods. ¡°And fix the damn lock first thing tomorrow.¡± The Robe bows and I close the door again. ¡°The Hell happened here...¡± I ask nobody... How did this happen... What am I supposed to do now... I''m no King. I''m not him... I can''t... I''m the Shadow... I failed... I''m a failure as the Shadow. I never should have left... I smash my fist into the wall... ¡°Wykren, you bastard...¡± I stare into the darkness in front of me. ¡°I should kill you for this...¡± I feel my body tremble and try my best to pull myself together again. I try to clean up the vials and the drapes around the room. I scramble around in the feint light. I find plates. Jars. Solutions... What in the world is all this? Was she keeping the child alive with magic? If that''s true, then she must have burned through her Mana... I check on Devona again. She looks like a corpse... I take out a Mana potion and freeze again. I take Devona by her chin as gently as I can and open her mouth a bit. I pour the potion in. It spills all over. I stop and try again. I put my finger over the top of the vial and leave only a tiny gap open. I drip the potion into her mouth a drop at a time. It takes a while, but I manage. I use another vial for Mana and another one for Health, just to be on the safe side... I can''t believe how she looks... I turn away and open a single window. A light breeze blows in. The end of Spring. The End of Wykren... Noxanda''s first King... 2. The Trembles and the Troubles I use the opportunity to go through his stuff. I feel like a petty thief... Rummaging through someone else''s belongings in the middle of the night... Even so... I managed to locate first two items. Now for the last one... I didn''t see it on her, so it should be here. I hope. Found it. I clench the Stone in my hand. Why is this so difficult? I take a deep breath and... ¡°Emerald.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± That petrifying growl... Never did I think I''d feel so relieved hearing it... ¡°Have you returned to kill me?¡± What? No. Why... I sigh. ¡°First of all. I''m glad to hear you. Second. Where are you?¡± A long pause. ¡°The Stables.¡± Huh? ¡°You mean here? The Palace?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Don''t move. I''m coming down there. We need to talk.¡± ¡°As you wish...¡± Was she always this obedient? I take one last glance at the sleeping Devona. Hope Emerald''s in better shape... I close the door behind me and go see the one soul who can tell me what really happened... I find Emerald holed up in the Stables. The food lies untouched in the usual spot. Not her too... ¡°What happened.¡± Emerald raises her head, her greens glow in the dark, stopping my heartbeat in its tracks. She looks almost the same when we were stuck in the mountains... The reason she''s looking slightly better is probably because someone applied spells on her, to keep her alive... My body trembles with rage. Is everyone here an idiot! I clench the Stone harder. ¡°Before I tell you. Ask yourself. Do you truly wish to know?¡± ¡°I wouldn''t have comeback if I didn''t.¡± I take a second. ¡°I need to know if things would have been different if I had never left. I need to know if I could have stopped him. If I could have saved them...¡± She shifts her body just a little and lays down again. ¡°If you wish.¡± She begins. Slowly, I sit down on the ground and listen... So many variables unaccounted for... So many ways to prevent this... Sending a larger party would have been enough... So why? Have we become too confident in the times of Peace? Too lax? Is there a traitor amongst us?... That''s only half of the problem...What was she thinking? What was he thinking? Why do I bother asking... I know the answers¡­ One thing I am certain of. If I have died in his place - our land would have a King still and I would be set free... ¡°Lyma, could probably provide you with more details on what happened on his end, but that is all I know.¡± ¡°Thank you. I''m sorry I forced you to go through it again.¡± ¡°Fool. What do you think I''ve been dreaming about ever since?¡± Emerald answers. I look up at her. ¡°I am not in here, because I am trying to forget. I am in here, because I cannot forget.¡± That catches a gulp of air inside my chest. ¡°Is that why you refuse to eat?¡± No answer. ¡°Have you seen her?¡± No answer. ¡°What about the child?¡± No answer. ¡°Do you honestly believe that this would make him happy? He did not die so that you could rot here. You and her are both idiots. Wasting food and everyone''s efforts and concerns. Neither one of you is capable of remembering anything about what kind of a man Wykren was. You have neither shame, nor respect for him.¡± ¡°Then do us both a favor and finish me off.¡± ¡°Absolutely not. Death would be too easy for you. I want, no, I need you to live. You need see that child grow up and suffer, knowing what she lost and is missing out on, without even realizing it. Gazarria Stardust is everything we have left of him. You are his Legacy and she is his Treasure.¡± I get up. ¡°You''ve become quite talkative in your absence, I see.¡± ¡°I''m just getting started.¡± I look the Saber over one last time too. ¡°He''d raise Hell if he saw you as you are now.¡± Emerald opens one eye to me. ¡°Don''t you dare insult him or his memory. If you won''t do it for you then do it for him. Eat and live.¡± She growls at me, closing the eye. I wrap the chain around my wrist and make sure the Stone is safely secured. I leave the Cat alone and return to the Throne Hall. I stare at the table and the two chairs. The Ghost of Wykren haunts my mind. I see the Shadow of Him raise his head off the papers and smile at me... I sit down on the cold marble, with my back against the desk and just stare into nothing... A light nudge wakes me up. Well, my reflex, at least. My hand grabs something, before my eyes open themselves. Lyma. I let go of his throat. ¡°Sorry about that.¡± I stand up. ¡°Don''t. I deserve more.¡± Again with the... ¡°We''ll see. What''s this?¡± A handful of soldiers stand in the middle of the hall. They kneel and bow, all the way to the floor. ¡°Master Ira!¡± Someone begins. ¡°There are no words for the shame we feel.¡± ¡°We failed as the Shadows.¡± ¡°We failed you, Master.¡± ¡°We failed the King.¡± ¡°We failed Noxanda...¡± I turn to Lyma. He has his gaze down to the ground too. Oh boy. ¡°First of all. If you wish to ask for forgiveness - I am not the person to seek it from. Go and grovel at the Heirs feet. She''s the only victim here! It''s because of your poor judgment that the child lost her father!¡± My voice rings across the room. A few bodies flinch from it... That or the words are hitting a nerve somewhere... ¡°Second. You are no use to me dead.¡± A few heads peel themselves off the marble. Death is Salvation. Living with the knowledge that you are the reason why your King is dead will be a punishment worse than Hell.¡± A mouth opens. I hold my hand up. ¡°Three.¡± I take in some air. ¡°Failing to clearly instruct you on the importance of disobeying and, or going against your King for the sake of his own safety, is the burden that I shall bare for the rest of eternity.¡± All eyes are on me now. ¡°Four. Not all hope is lost. Perhaps we can pursue the bastards and take revenge.¡± ¡°About that. We tried.¡± Lyma begins. ¡°The Cornutese did not let us through.¡± ¡°What about the Balli?¡± ¡°The former Warchief paid his respects. That was all. Considering his age, we were surprised to know he was alive still...¡± ¡°And Repperi?¡± ¡°Sent flowers and a letter.¡± How kind of them. I roll my eyes. ¡°I replied with a thank you.¡± Lyma adds quickly. ¡°Good.¡± I nod. ¡°I understand the information was provided by the Balli in the first place?¡± Lyma nods. ¡°They lied! We are certain of it!¡± Someone speaks up. ¡°Proof of that where?¡± I throw a glare. Silence. ¡°From what I understand, going on a hunch, the horde of bandits might have been the creation of our making.¡± ¡°Impossible!¡± ¡°The next one to speak before allowed will have their life taken by me.¡± I say. Silence. Good. ¡°Considering how well the Land of Race has been doing for the past two decades, it comes to me as no surprise that someone here could have seen it as an easy way to get things. People defect to Rebellion because they are unhappy here and think of Rebellion as some sort of a Promised Land. Because the conditions here have improved, there is no reason to go over there. Our system was keeping the outside forces at bay. We failed to install a safety measure for threats within the land itself.¡± I notice a hand. ¡°Yes?¡± Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. ¡°Why would anyone choose to do something like this?¡± ¡°Simple. Because they can. Not everyone share our Noxian collective believes on life and its values. Ballista is a vast country. There are too many of them to keep in check. Clearly their system failed. Whereas we do not have the right to intervene within another land''s affairs. It should have been discussed at another summons between the nations, but what''s done is done. So that''s one theory.¡± ¡°You have another one?¡± Lyma asks carefully. I nod. ¡°It wouldn''t surprise me if the Land of Exile was where the bandits originated from. It''s North of Ballista. Even with the mountain range - Earth Shamans would be able to come through it. However. That part is trickier to investigate.¡± ¡°How can you be sure it wasn''t the Rebellion?¡± Lyma asks a good question. ¡°This was too organized. Rebellion would have gone through Ballista like a raging wild fire. And. If they have - the Balli would have stopped them.¡± ¡°I find it difficult to argue with that logic...¡± Lyma says. ¡°Anyway. I''ll need a day to sort through all of this.¡± I point to the papers, scrolls and parchments on the desk. ¡°Wait for your orders till then. Dismissed.¡± The fighters hesitate for a few seconds then quickly bow and scatter. Lyma tries to leave, but I stop him. ¡°Lyma. I don''t know how much this will ease your mind, but please know that I don''t blame you for what happened. I blame the moron who got himself killed.¡± ¡°That''s alright, sir. I blame myself plenty.¡± He smiles at me. Such a painful smile... ¡°If it''s not too much to ask of you, I''d appreciate it if you would stay here. I need people I can trust now more than ever.¡± ¡°Master, with all due respect, I believe I lost that right when the King died on my watch. I do not think I deserve to be here for a moment longer.¡± Seems like he''s taking this quite personally... ¡°I understand. However. For the time being I do require your assistance. If you could find the strength to bear with it, it would mean a lot to me. More than I am able to describe right now...¡± ¡°I...shall try...¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I bow to Lyma. ¡°Excuse me.¡± I pull his chair away from the desk and begin sorting through the paperwork, without sitting down. Lyma leaves me without saying a word more. ¡°Bad time?¡± A voice distracts me. ¡°Blain. You''re still here?¡± I stare at the man. ¡°Nice to see you too.¡± ¡°Sorry. Right. Of course.¡± ¡°Save it. I have a decent idea of the current situation. I can''t imagine how you''ll manage.¡± ¡°I''ll try my best.¡± I nod. ¡°Better do it fast. The Geezers won''t sit quiet for long.¡± Blain warns me. ¡°Speaking of. Why haven''t they made a move yet?¡± He shrugs his shoulders. ¡°Who knows what the old farts are thinking.¡± That gets giggle out of me. ¡°Oh, and ah, don''t worry. I''ll continue to serve Noxanda''s Royalty for as long as I will be deemed useful.¡± He bows. ¡°Appreciate it.¡± I nod. ¡°Sure. I''ll leave you to it, then. Good luck.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°If there''s anything I can help with.¡± ¡°Actually.¡± I run over to him. ¡°See if you can get some spies into the Land of Exile. You are in charge of the Beasts, are you not?¡± ¡°Training. But sure. I heard the theory. I''ll see what I can do.¡± Blain offers me a hand. I shake his forearm like in the old, Military days. ¡°Thanks a bunch.¡± ¡°I''m sorry, though. He was an idiot, but he was a good man. I know how close you two were... It must be difficult for you... Not to mention the Queen and the Heir...¡± Blain looks down as he speaks. ¡°My loss is nothing compared to theirs. I''ll manage. I know he was a good friend to you as well. How are you...¡± ¡°I manage. Doing anything I can to help is the least I can do to repay him... It doesn''t change anything for me, even with him gone. This isn''t just about me. It''s about all of us.¡± Blain''s eyes are a complete opposite to Lyma''s agony. I smile. ¡°Appreciate your service. At ease.¡± Blain giggles. ¡°I''ll see ya.¡± He limbs out with his wooden leg and I get back to the desk. My biggest headache right now is to decide which way to go first. Confirming the Peace Terms and Conditions with Cobalus seems like the logical choice. Then again. If we wait any longer - the bandits, rather what''s left of them - can cross over and will be completely out of reach. If they haven''t already... If we try to pressure Venatus without the Balli back up that might spring more trouble for us... Need to think calmly here... I smile at the thought. Calm is the last thing he''d be right now... I read through the letter from Primerias... They seem determined to continue on. They offer to help in any way they can... Sending bandits after our King sounds too barbaric for the sophisticated Primerian taste, but I can''t be too sure about anything right now... I wonder if they would agree to let us in to take a closer look at things? Not that I even know where to start... Then again - can''t hurt to ask... I begin writing up a response... Lyma has sent a thank you note as the Vice-Chief. We''ll see if my name still means anything... ¡°Well, at least someone here hasn''t forgotten their responsibilities.¡± A voice speaks. I lift my gaze up. The Head Geezer of the Council. ¡°More than you. At least.¡± I drop my eyes down again. ¡°Ah, well we would help if he could, but our hands are tied. You know. The Council is not welcomed.¡± ¡°To dictate, not to aid.¡± I keep going through the papers. ¡°Ah, well that''s not what the King told me.¡± Persistent Geezers - Noxanda''s greatest curse... ¡°What did he tell you, refresh my memory? All of you Robes look the same to me, it''s hard to keep track of you in single digits.¡± ¡°Hilarious. I see your time off has done you good. Must be infuriating to be pulled back in now.¡± ¡°Get to the point.¡± I stop and stare. ¡°Very well.¡± The Geezer grins. ¡°I promised our King that I''d be the one to take his head personally should he ever make a mistake.¡± He never mentioned it to me. Of course not. I would have taken the Head Advisor out the next second. Which would have brought more trouble... But. A decade ago would have done the trick. Wait. I dive through the Shadows and emerge an inch away from the Geezer. I grab his robe and stick the dagger into his throat. Barely puncturing the skin. ¡°Tell me. Just how much did you want to take his head all this time?¡± My whisper almost a growl. I''m struggling to hold back... ¡°Hands off me, mutt.¡± ¡°Talk. Now.¡± ¡°Plenty.¡± The geezer admits. ¡°So did you come here now to gloat and mock?¡± The blade presses in more. The geezer grins. ¡°I wish.¡± He says. ¡°However.¡± I hold the dagger in check. For now. ¡°As much as it pains me to admit it. The fool did our country good. After two decades of watching from the sidelines, I had to admit defeat. The meager trials that we threw at them could not compare to their initiative. Peace within the Old Continent seemed nothing more than a pipe dream. Yet the brat made it happen.¡± The robe is either telling the truth or centuries of lying is paying off. ¡°I''m a sore loser, but not an idiot.¡± He says. ¡°Then what do you want? Why show yourself now?¡± I keep pressing the blade in for good measure. ¡°Entertainment. I was wondering what will happen next¡±. He grins. I smash my forehead into his nose. Blood gushes out. ¡°ISOLENCE!¡± He gurgles. I pull him to me again. ¡°The King is dead. The Queen is in shambles and the Heir is fighting for her life.¡± I growl the words out through my clenched teeth. ¡°You dare to call that entertainment?¡± I''m at my limit. ¡°A King, getting himself killed by some thugs is rather ridiculously hilarious, wouldn''t you say?¡± The geezer grins with a bloody smile. I knee him in the gut and lean in. ¡°If I find out, proof or no proof, that you were behind this, I will. Skin. You. Alive.¡± I whisper into his ear. A cackle rings through the Throne Hall. ¡°I''d love nothing more than to take the credit for that. But I would have loved to do it myself more.¡± The geezer answers. Disgusting. No other word to describe it. ¡°Congratulations. You''ve just made to the top of my kill list. Show yourself here, or anywhere near Noxanda''s Royal Family again and I''ll make an exhibition out of you: 101 ways to skin a Robe. Same goes for the rest of your pals.¡± ¡°You wouldn''t dare.¡± ¡°Watch me.¡± I let the robe go and walk away from him, back to the desk. ¡°I am the Chief of Security. The safety of them is my top priority. My leave of absence cost our people their King. Rest assured, I shall not make the same mistake twice. As of today, I am Chief Secretary, an active replacement for the Ruling Pair until the Queen makes a full recovery and is able to resume her post as the Ruler of Noxanda. All matters regarding Noxanda''s faith, withing its borders and out, shall be taken care of by me. As Chief of Security, I shall eliminate any threat, inside or out, to Noxanda and its people without fail. As Chief Secretary, my first order of business is to disband the Council. Your services are no longer required. You have a day to vacate the perimeter. Fail to do so and you shall face the consequences on the spot.¡± I stand behind the desk, right between the two chairs. ¡°As Chief of Security, I proclaim the Council to be a security risk to the Royal Family of Noxanda. I am issuing an order to neutralize the threat on sight.¡± ¡°IMPOSSIBLE! YOU HOLD NO SUCH POWER!¡± ¡°Oh, but I do.¡± I show him the crest. ¡°There are only four total of them in existence. In case you were not aware, the King crafted them himself. One for each member of the Royal Family. The Queen, the Heir, the Saber, the King. As well as this.¡± I hold the seal. ¡°A single seal, that only those in charge have the right to possess.¡± I place the ring on the same chain as the crest and hang it on my neck. ¡°SHADOWS!¡± A pack of Assassins surround the former-robe. ¡°Here is your chance to redeem yourselves. Make sure that the Geezer Council leaves no trace of them behind. Or we''ll make sure not to leave any trace of them instead.¡± How long have I waited to say that. ¡°YES, SIR!¡± They answer in a single voice and escort the geezer out. Kicking and screaming. Wouldn''t have had it any other way. 3. Resistance and Resilience ¡°Answer from the Balli.¡± Lyma hands me the envelope. I open it on the spot. ¡°They agreed to see me. No time to waste. I''ll leave now.¡± ¡°But.¡± ¡°The sooner I see them the better. You''re still the Vice-Chief. The Council is taken care of. You''ll be fine.¡± ¡°Alright.¡± Lyma nods. I quickly put together a team and leave. This feels so much different than the last time... I sit in the carriage, going through the reports. Nothing useful so far. I wonder if Blain has better luck... Focus. The problem at hand are the Balli. Glad to see they made good work of our land... The fields are quite busy... Somehow, I doubt they would want to end the Peace or the Treaty... Ballista''s flourishing like never before. Well. Maybe only once before when it was founded. I was never a big believer in legends, but then again - Emerald has proved at least one legend to be right. If I to assume Ballista''s origins to be right too, then it were thanks to the Primerians that the Balli were able to learn about magic and the world. Kind of like us. According to our legends at least... This feels wrong. This isn''t the kind of Peace he dreamed of. Suspecting each other and pointing fingers left and right and the symbol of Peace is nothing, but a memory now... The carriage stops. A sand sculpture comes into my view. Was that thing always there? Guess I wasn''t paying attention last time we were here... I stare at the Sandman... Here''s an idea... A mix of Robes and soldiers come greet me. ¡°Sir Shadowkill. You must be tired from your trip. Allow us to lead you to your quarters.¡± ¡°No need. I prefer to see his majesty Terrack immediately. You''ll have to forgive my rudeness. I''m on a rather tight schedule these days. Hope that''s no trouble?¡± I smile and bow. ¡°If you wish. This way.¡± The Robe keeps his distance. Oh please, I changed my clothes getting here at least twice. I can''t stink that bad. Strange. This isn''t the same path we took last time. That much I do remember. Is this a trap? Oh. I get it. They wanted to show off the last time. Now is different, so they¡¯re going straight to the point. We enter the Throne Room. Same dimmed lighting. Same Robes all over the place. Same Old Terrack. Who''s the kid though? His son? Who cares. I stop front row center and bow. ¡°Pardon me for coming alone this time around.¡± ¡°What? No Queen? Not even a Cat?¡± Someone mocks me. Watch it. ¡°Sadly no.¡± I smile. ¡°Shame.¡± I bet. ¡°Well, cannot be helped. Shall we discuss business then?¡± Terrack smiles. ¡°I''d prefer it, please.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± He nods. ¡°We understand you have some concerns regarding the Treaty?¡± ¡°The recent events might have raised some questions as to the continuation of the Treaty. As such, Astri wishes to confirm that Cobalus is in favor of the Cooperation between the nations of the Land of Race as it were, along with some changes, of course.¡± ¡°Yes. The passing of your King. How tragic.¡± Terrack nods. ¡°More like stupid.¡± The Balli brat snickers. Terrack clears his throat. The brat stops smiling. ¡°This is the new Warchief. Kraasnoh. His a bit young.¡± ¡°I''ve noticed.¡± I keep my glare on the dumbass. ¡°You mentioned changes, Shadowkill?¡± ¡°Yes. The tragedy that occurred made us realize that we failed to strengthen the inside security. We propose to expand the information network. That would allow us to intercept any new and future threats. Perhaps monthly reports are in order?¡± ¡°To expose our secrets to the enemy! Forget it!¡± Krassnoh jumps in. ¡°I do believe it is because of the late warning that half of the blame for the tragedy lies with.¡± I begin the onslaught. ¡°We do understand that Ballista''s territory is vast and perhaps, is somewhat difficult to care for Cobalus alone. If you wish, we suggest a Joint Task Force, comprised of appointed officers and fighters from each nation, which would have authority to travel between countries, helping the local authorities, should there be a need for it. Think of it as a helping hand. Nothing more.¡± ¡°You just want to keep us under watch! You''re jealous of us! All this is merely an excuse to gain access to our treasures!¡± The brat is testing me... I step forward. ¡°Appreciate the concern, young lord. However, Noxanda is well-off financially. We simply have other ways we use our profits, instead of flaunting them around.¡± I grin. I miss Ludgen. The kid''s a pain... ¡°Have the others agreed to the changes?¡± Old Man Terrack cuts in. ¡°Repperi has sent a written confirmation that they will continue with the Treaty as is. The suggestion for the tightened inside security has peaked their interest as well, I dare say they are in favor, yes.¡± Not to mention it would give the Primerians an opportunity to revisit the countries up close and personal, gathering research. It is their favorite thing, after all. ¡°And Venatus?¡± Damn it. ¡°Yes, well, the Cornutese have been a little sluggish with their response. Since, his majesty, has honored us with a fast reply, I saw it as a gesture of good faith and rushed over here in response first.¡± ¡°In other words, you have nothing to show for.¡± Some Robed Geezer speaks. ¡°Not quite. We have one dead King and two nations to suspect of getting involved.¡± I answer as casually as I manage. ¡°Two? Not three?¡± ¡°Two. Noxanda has nothing to do with it. We''ve already investigated the incident on our end rather thoroughly. Primerias is out of the question too. Organizing bandits is too much of a hassle and too barbaric for their taste. Plus. They agreed to let us double check just to be safe. I have a team in Repperi investigating as we speak. Cornutora has been prickly ever since, which is no surprise, considering their overall attitude. Even if they have nothing to hide, they enjoy yanking chains around still. But, we cannot afford to be careless, nonetheless. Leaving them and you in the same boat.¡± I give it a moment. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°The bandits are reported to be all Balli. The warning for it came from Cobalus, and the horde invaded Noxanda from the direction of Ballista. That''s at least three reasons to put your entire nation as the prime suspect for being a threat to the Treaty. In case you need a reminder, what happens should a nation threaten the Peace, I''d be more than happy to recite the Terms and Conditions for you. But perhaps a hint will suffice? It has something to do with Total and Complete annihilation should it be deemed necessary...¡± ¡°BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!¡± The young Warchief grabs his sword and comes at me. Go on. Make my day, punk. ¡°Enough! Know your place, brat!¡± Terrack thunders down on the kid. Better him than me. ¡°Apologies. The young blood can be so eager at times.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± I nod. ¡°Now then? Where were we?¡± ¡°I do believe that it requires three nations to agree to your "total and complete anihilation"?¡± ¡°At this point it could be done with two. Noxanda and Primerias. Of course, Cornutora could jump in to aid you, with the temptation of sticking it to Repperi, but more than that I do believe Venatus will love having Repperi owe them one even more.¡± I grin again and take my casual rant a step further. Something he would have done too... ¡°Of course, such drastic measures are a last resort only. It would be enough to place Ballista under the suspicion of a grand conspiracy to overthrow Noxanda by assassinating our King under the pretext of "bandits" alone. And after all that we''ve done for you... What kind of a message do you think does that send? Are you willing to take the risk and see how well your business will do then?¡± Nobody cuts in, I carry on. ¡°Would you like to see how fast your land would regress to the pre-times of Peace? Or are you, gentlemen, telling me your people are foolish enough to go back to bloodshed at the drop of the hat, after living the easy life for so long?¡± The looks. The silence. Thought so. ¡°Cobalus shall uphold the Peace Treaty.¡± The Old as Hell Terrack bows his head to me. ¡°Please. Accept our condolences for your land''s loss.¡± Cutting this short I see. Wise choice. ¡°Likewise.¡± I nod. ¡°I also suggest you leash your new Warchief.¡± The eager hatchling. ¡°Your concern has been noted. Will that be all?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± I bow. ¡°Thank you for time, your majesty. I shall send the details for the Joint Task Force as soon as I get back. We''re working out the kinks as to make sure the power is not abused.¡± ¡°Please do.¡± Terrack nods again. I bow again and make my way toward the exit. ¡°I see now that our worries for the fate of Noxanda were a waste of breath. It seems that Noxians are tougher than your appearances let on.¡± Is he mocking us? I stop. ¡°I''ll take that as a compliment, coming from the Balli King himself.¡± I bow for the last time and leave. One down. One to go. We quickly return to Astri and prepare for the next trip. Me and my elite team, or something close to it, depart for Cornutora''s border three days after my return from Cobalus. I figured we''d keep it small this time. Lyma tried to gain access and failed. We''ll see if I can make a difference. Though I seriously doubt it. But. I can''t back down without a fight. He would never let me live it down if I did... Sneaking into Cornutora to investigate would be too easy. We want to maintain the Peace as much as possible. Going behind their backs like that would only stir up more trouble. Worst case it could backfire on us and we can''t have that. Lyma managed to keep that part under wraps rather nicely, considering the raging emotions of everyone. He''s good at this stuff. If only he hadn''t lost his confidence... If we''re going to have to resort to playing mind games again, I''d rather do it his way. Up front and direct. The twelve of us arrive at the border. The reports were true. They really did beef up the security after Lyma''s attempt. So. Either they have something to hide or they are too annoyed with us. We''ll know soon enough. ¡°What do you people want again?¡± Talk about a warm welcome. ¡°We''re here on the behalf of Noxanda''s Royal Family, sent to investigate the incident leading to our King''s death.¡± ¡°AGAIN! DON''T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHEN TO QUIT!¡± ¡°WE ALREADY TOLD YOU WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!¡± Alright. Guess the option #2 is closer to the truth... ¡°We''ll be the judges of that. If you please simply let us through.¡± I try again. ¡°No.¡± The oldest of the bunch answers me. Probably the one in charge too. ¡°Then you leave me no choice. I hereby declare Cornutora enemy of Noxanda and a threat to the Peace Treaty.¡± ¡°On what grounds?¡± ¡°None. For now. That is why we ask that you allow us to pass so that we can investigate and clear you of any suspicion. Otherwise, you shall remain guilty until proven innocent and I don''t believe you want that.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°Very.¡± I hold the stares. ¡°But of course, if you prefer to be trialed for aiding the murderers of a member of the Royal family, then be my guests.¡± ¡°Trialed? You have no such authority. ¡° ¡°True. But the Land of Race does. See. The Terms and Conditions clearly stated that.¡± ¡°Bullshit.¡± ¡°Oh and you know that because you read the Peace Treaty?¡± Silence. Exactly. ¡°Your Royalty is none of our concern.¡± A voice yells to us from their crowd. I shrug my shoulders. ¡°Not yet. But it will become so, soon enough.¡± ¡°Says who.¡± ¡°Ira Shadowkill. Chief Secretary and Chief of Security of Noxanda. My authority ranks that of the member of the royal family of Noxanda.¡± The expressions change a little there. ¡°If that''s not enough to convince you - feel free to ask the Balli and the Primerians whose side they are on.¡± The old wound and salt trick never fails. ¡°Either way. We have strict orders not to let anyone who is not a merchant to pass.¡± ¡°And this comes from our Royalty.¡± Someone adds, sending a wave of laughter amongst the men. ¡°So excuse us if we won''t take your word for it.¡± ¡°No problem.¡± I step forward. ¡°One last thing though, before we go.¡± I take another step closer to the border. ¡°Ask yourselves if you''ll be able to withstand the unfavorable odds. Three against one does sound rough.¡± I whisper loud enough for only one of them to hear. ¡°This isn''t the same as 20 years ago. Right now, you are the biggest and the most likely threat to the Peace and everyone''s profit. The retaliation against Cornutora seems more than likely. Because you are not aware of the Terms and Conditions of the Treaty I shall do you a solid and enlighten you: Should it happen so that a Nation interferes with the Cooperation between lands, it will be seen as a threat to Peace and shall be dealt with accordingly. The other Nations, are obligated to subdue the threat, for the sake of Peace, with the possibility of total annihilation, should it be deemed necessary and unavoidable.¡± I wait a moment. ¡°If you think that same rules do not apply to you now as 20 years ago. Think again. The Treaty does not have an expiration date. Unlike your lives.¡± I step back again. ¡°It''s a shame that we could not come to an agreement here today. But. Rest assured. Noxanda will hold no grudges. We understand. Self-preservation takes priority. As such, I am sure you will understand why Astri will be closed off to the public. Fear not. The trading routes will remain open. Unfortunately, the market, as well as the shops and stores will be relocated to Ravenna. Anyone who is not a Noxian will have to relocate there, if they wish to continue running their business that is. A bit of a detour, but I''m sure you can understand. We have just lost a member of the Royal Family. We must protect the rest. Ah. Yes. I almost forgot. Our Cooperation against the Rebellion and such, will remain unaffected, as per the Terms and Conditions of the Peace Treaty. You have my word.¡± I jump on my Celodian. ¡°Your word don¡¯t mean much to us.¡± ¡°It should. I was the one to sign the Treaty the first time.¡± I throw one last glare and give the signal to retreat. ¡°My regards to Carniran.¡± I smile and ride off with the troops. 4. Last Royal Standing ¡°A letter from the Cornutese.¡± A messenger announces. I wave the boy over and quickly tear the seal open. ¡°Well?¡± Lyma stands next to me. ¡°They wish to see the Queen in person. No exceptions.¡± It appears my stunt worked too well. I place the paper down. I hoped it wouldn''t come to it... I notice Lyma''s concern. ¡°Don''t worry. She''ll manage.¡± I tap the man on the shoulder and go see the weeping widow. Some of the maidens stand outside the bedroom door. ¡°Problem?¡± ¡°Master! Ah, no? She...¡± ¡°No improvement.¡± Another one answers. I sigh. ¡°Stand by.¡± I enter the room. ¡°I said leave me.¡± A single ¡°order¡± sounds from the blanket pile. I roll my eyes. ¡°No can do, Queen, you''re needed. Carniran wants to speak to you in person, in Venatus.¡± ¡°What for?¡± Devona does not show herself from under the blankets. And it''s summer... ¡°No clue. He didn''t specify in his letter. He only emphasized on seeing you soon or else. Apparently, your letter was not enough to convince him and my attempt to enter Cornutora to investigate did not impress him either.¡± Rustling noises. An ear peaks out. ¡°I never send any letter.¡± ¡°I know. I did. I forged your handwriting.¡± Another ear. ¡°If you can do that - why do you need me?¡± ¡°Because that is what the old man wants to see.¡± I tell her again. ¡°To be honest I understand why. Noxanda seems weak and vulnerable now. Seeing you stand tall would assure that we are anything, but weak. Although, something tells me that he thinks of you as nothing more than a pretty little thing that he can take advantage of, considering.¡± A long pause¡­ ¡°No. You go. You have my blessing as the Queen.¡± ¡°I would, if that would be enough. And for the record. I don''t need your blessing.¡± She finally glares at me from under the blankets. ¡°Get up. You''re needed.¡± ¡°I''d rather die.¡± The glaring continues. I exhale and put a dagger on the nightstand. ¡°Be my guest. Go ahead and tell Wykren in the Afterlife how Noxanda fell to ruin and you left his precious baby girl all alone to fend for herself, because you were too busy throwing a tantrum. Go ahead and explain to him in great detail how his hard work and effort of two decades went down the crapper, all because you were too busy being a brat.¡± I lean against the window sill with my eyes closed and arms crossed on my chest. Some more rustling noises reach me. I crack an eyelid open. Devona sits on the edge of the bed. Her hair pouring over her body in streams of white snow... I notice dark spots here and there. Sweat. Least she''s wearing something... She struggles to get up. I approach her and get stopped. I back off. ¡°Now I understand why he hated you sometimes.¡± She supports herself with the bed pole. ¡°You''ll live.¡± I watch her drag herself to the bathroom. She falls down half way. I help her up. ¡°Shall I give you a bath too, while we''re at it?¡± ¡°Don''t insult me. I have some dignity left, despite how I look.¡± She hisses at me. I smile. Good to know. I rest her down on a wooden stool. ¡°I''ll send in the maidens. No objections there, I presume?¡± No answer. I walk out the room. ¡°The Queen has a very important meeting to attend. Make sure she looks presentable and pack a bag. You have three hours to get her back on her feet.¡± ¡°Yes, Master!" The three ladies rush in. I need to go see another stubborn fool in the meantime... I find her at the usual spot. With an empty tray. Progress. ¡°What?¡± She growls at me. Somehow I feel relieved to hear her snappy attitude again. ¡°Devona''s being summoned to Venatus. I need you to escort us. We leave in three hours.¡± Emerald stretches out. ¡°With pleasure.¡± She stands up. I swallow. The sights never fails to intimidate me. ¡°Great. I''ll come get you later.¡± The maidens handle me like an egg. Or rather a rag doll. Bathing. Scrubbing. Brushing. Dressing... I stand in front of the mirror full on potions and spells. The empty reflection stares back at me. I... ¡°Good work ladies, we''ll take it from here.¡± Ira stands in the door way. With Emerald. She doesn''t look so well herself... I see... I haven''t been the only one suffering... I nod to her. She nods to me. Ira steps aside and lets me walk up front. I drag my feet, one in front of the other. I feel like the entire Palace echoes from my footsteps... Everything reminds me of him... We get outside. A carriage awaits for us. ¡°I know I''m a bit out of it, but I count six Celodians?¡± ¡°Faster we get there, the faster you can get back to your tantrum.¡± Ira whispers. I smile for a heartbeat and get in. ¡°Feel free to rest if you need to.¡± I nod. Emerald runs next to the carriage. I realize, watching her, just how powerful she truly is. Clearly, she was holding back the last time. She''s able to keep up with even six beats pulling the carriage, instead of the regular two. I gaze out the window, not sure what is it that I am even gazing at any more... Ira uses the opportunity to fill me in on the situation at hand. I try my damnedest to pay attention... "We''re here." A voice wakes me up. I take out a brush from the open bag next to me and quickly fix myself up again. Ira steps out of the carriage first. I follow him. A pack of Cornutese greet us. ¡°Only the Queen shall proceed further.¡± Someone announces. ¡°Excuse me?¡± Ira moves over in front in his kill mode. I quickly grab his arm. ¡°So be it.¡± ¡°Hell no! I''m not letting you out of my sight.¡± I walk over to the guards. ¡°It''s fine.¡± I can handle myself still. ¡°That''s not the issue here!¡± Ira persists. ¡°I thought you didn''t care what happens to me.¡± ¡°Wrong. I said I don¡¯t care what you do to yourself. Never said I''d allow someone else to harm you. That would break my promise. I''ll give you an hour. After that we''re storming in. If they do anything to you - let me know, I''ll cross over to get you. Is that clear?¡± ¡°Crystal.¡± I answer. ¡°Now, about that promise you mentioned?¡± Ira doesn¡¯t answer me. I see... ¡°I should have made a deal with you instead.¡± I tell him. Perhaps then I would have been able to stop him... I walk along the corridor... I wanted to be a good wife... I wanted to support him... How did I decide what makes one a "good wife" exactly? All I had to do was tell him to stay with me... ¡°Queen. So good to see you again.¡± An annoying sound disrupts my thoughts. Carniran. I smile. Look at how old the fool''s gotten. This was worth the trip already. ¡°Cut the small talk and get to the point.¡± I tell him with a smile. ¡°Ha! I see that the King wasn''t the only one with some character.¡± I continue to smile without answering. ¡°I see. Well then, as you wish.¡± He smiles again briefly. ¡°My subordinates and I would prefer if your Chief of Security, was it? Would stop harassing us.¡± I can only imagine. ¡°And you call a breach of the Treaty, by refusing to cooperate, what, exactly?¡± I give him my bored stare. ¡°I see that the young royalty has much to learn still. I believe you are missing the point here.¡± ¡°Wrong. You are the ones who are missing the point.¡± Ira gave me an hour. I''m not sure I''ll last that long. ¡°Noxanda is currently carrying out a large-scale investigation. Our land has been cleared, as well as Primerias and so have been The Balli. You are the only ones under suspicion still. The longer you refuse to let us in, the harsher the consequences you''ll face later.¡± I take a quick breath in and continue. ¡°If you try to play the blame game, I advise against it. The Balli were the ones who sustained the biggest losses from the bandit raids, there is no way the proud Balli would ever instigate a conspiracy within their own land, that would cause more conflict for them between their people, instead of taking it out onto another land. It¡¯s simply not their style.¡± I keep my eyes on the King. ¡°The Primerian defenses are too advance for a bunch of ruffians, so the horde did not even attempt to go there. Hence why they chose a straight path from Ballista to Cornutora, across Noxanda. Now unless you were the ones behind it all from the start, for whatever the ridiculous reason, I believe it is in your best interest to allow us to proceed with our investigation. However, I do fail to see what you gain by ending the Treaty, as without it you lose our Beast Druids. Or is your business doing so well that you wish to plunder it and retire the entire land?¡± The man opens his mouth to speak I cut in before he gets the chance. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Now, unless you were planning on taking over Noxanda by eliminating our King, thinking it would be easier this way to gain access to our assets, I assure you that he is not the only weapon in Noxanda''s possession.¡± I grin at the memory of the strange feeling and add. ¡°Of course, if you prefer to be accused of harboring murderers and be judged accordingly by the Conference, be my guest. In fact, I''d prefer it that way. It would give me great pleasure to be the one to tear your throat out myself for the disrespect you have shown to the King of Noxanda.¡± I remember what it is. Wykren''s unwavering persistence to always kick it up a notch. I''ll need to thank Ira later for reminding me of it and how powerful it feels. "Easy now, Mrs. You''d be wise to contain your wild side.¡± Carniran grins back at me. Imbecile. ¡°Considering the fact that you denied us entry into your lands to hunt down the bastards who took my King from me and have been the ones to summon me here - I''d say I have been quite docile.¡± I hold the stare. The fool keeps his grin in place. I use the opportunity and finish it. ¡°As I have mentioned in my letter - we will keep the trading routes open and will continue to cooperate in keeping the Rebellion at bay as we have been. Now then. If you''ll excuse me, I''d like to return to mourning my dead husband.¡± I bow. ¡°Good day.¡± ¡°For someone in mourning you sure seem quite happy, wearing white.¡± I stop at the comment and feel the rage burning my soul. I turn and stare at the idiot. ¡°In case you are not familiar with the legend of our origin allow me to indulge you.¡± I do not recognize my own voice... ¡°Noxians are dwellers of the night. We thrive in the darkness. You only see a shooting star when it dies. The white trail it leaves behind - is its last breath. Noxians wear white to honor their departed loved ones, hoping they were able to return to where we once rained down from, thus carrying on their spirit and their wishes that were left unfulfilled.¡± ¡°Wasn''t your King''s greatest wish Peace? Seems like it has already happened?¡± Carniran is pushing his luck. I guess my Wykren impression didn''t have the impact I was aiming for. I inhale again. ¡°His greatest wish was and forever shall be Peace. Whether he is here or not does not change a thing for us. We serve our King even in death. Our purpose now is to preserve the fruits of his labor. I assure you - there is not a single Noxian alive that will dare to defy his efforts.¡± I glare with all of the deranged menace I have inside of me. ¡°We will remain docile. You have my word. However. Pull on deaths whiskers and I promise you - all Hell will break loose. I highly advise against provoking our raging sorrow. As you know, we Noxians, tend to live a little longer. Sometimes it makes it hard for us to forget certain events quickly.¡± Finally, his expression changes. I wait a moment more. Nothing. Not a single sound or sign. I turn and walk away. ¡°Oh, that''s right. We''ll be sure to send over you some changes made to the Treaty, along with a team to clear your good name. Under the current circumstances Astri has taken the liberty of drafting a new proposal for Inside Security. I''m sure you can understand why.¡± I smile one last time and leave without waiting for an answer. Disgusting old fool. Ira waits for me by the carriage along with Emerald. He sees me and opens the carriage door for me. I climb in and Ira follows me. He closes the door and we take off. ¡°I take it went well?¡± He asks carefully. ¡°Peachy.¡± I answer. I wait a moment longer and add. ¡°I won''t tell you to prepare for War but.¡± ¡°Be ready just in case. No worries. We always are.¡± He answers. I stare out the window with my heart barely holding out... ¡°I''m sorry. You shouldn''t have gone through that...¡± ¡°What''s done is done.¡± ¡°You don''t need to hide your pain from me.¡± ¡°I''m...¡± I break apart again. I cover my face, slide down the bench and curl up, weeping, hysterically. ¡°I WANT MY WYKREN!!!¡± I scream out... The pain... It clenches my soul. It claws at my heart. It seeps out of my body... I watch Devona weep once more, helpless, unable to ease her pain... The sudden summer storm hammers down in heavy... Almost as if the Nature itself weeps for Wykren... Or for Devona... She falls asleep soon enough again. She''s exhausted herself... I have to admit, I did not expect her to last as long as she did. Now if only she''d manage to be the Queen again back home too... A sudden tilt shakes me out of my thoughts. The Hell! The carriage almost falls over. ¡°Assassin!¡± Emerald''s roar reaches me. I hear voices outside in the rain. Devona wakes up too. ¡°What''s going on?¡± ¡°Not sure. Stay here and stay down.¡± I jump out. ¡°What happened!¡± I call out to the drivers and the Beast Scout. ¡°This.¡± The Druid points to a man in the middle of the road. ¡°Please help! My wife! She''s in pain!¡± He clutches onto one of the drivers. Could be a trap... Better not get involved. ¡°What do we do?¡± ¡°What kind of an idiotic question is that! We help, of course! Step aside!¡± Devona comes over. ¡°Show me the way.¡± The man points to the woods and starts walking. ¡°You heard your Queen! Move!¡± The two fighters quickly follow us. ¡°What happened?¡± Devona asks. ¡°I don''t know, she said she''s hurting and...¡± We find the woman crouching down by a tree. A pregnant one at that. Our Queen crashes down on her knees next to her. ¡°Don''t worry. We can help. We won''t harm you.¡± Devona tells her. A feint blue light shines from the Cleansers hands. Devona finishes the casting and gets up. ¡°Can you stand?¡± I offer a hand. The woman takes it. Together with her husband, we help her up. We walk them to the carriage. Our Druid takes flight again. Devona sits down next to the woman. I guard the man. The carriage moves again, with Emerald right next to it. ¡°What happened?¡± Devona tries again. ¡°We... She...¡± I offer the couple some water and food from the compartment under the seats. They nod and take a few minutes to replenish their strength. ¡°Thank you.¡± The man nods again. ¡°I''m Sharden. This is my wife Ella. We''re hunters." How typical of Cornutese... ¡°We live just the two of us out in the woods. She''s due soon and we were on our way into town. We took our time, nice and slow. But then she suddenly began feeling pains and I didn''t know what to do. I told her to stay put, but then she collapsed and I heard the mounts. I ran out into the road hoping...¡± The carriage sways a little rough. ¡°Tell them to slow down.¡± Devona sounds like a Queen again for a brief moment. ¡°No rush. Queens orders.¡± I reach out. ¡°Yes!¡± ¡°It was quite foolish of you to have been traveling anywhere in her condition.¡± ¡°There was no other way. Most of the healers have moved closer to the capital and the port.¡± Sharden answers. ¡°It was faster to go myself then wait back in the woods for Sharden to return with someone willing enough to make the trip...¡± Ella explains and her face expresses her distress again. Devona gets to work. ¡°I''m afraid you''re due sooner than you thought. The strain from the travel has sped up the labor. I can''t stall it, but I can ease the pain.¡± The Queen explains. ¡°Is there anything close by?¡± She looks at me. ¡°We''re near the border.¡± ¡°Then we''ll take them with us.¡± ¡°You can''t decide that for them.¡± I reach out and Ella screams out. ¡°She doesn''t have an option. Go full speed straight to Astri once we cross over. Send word ahead to prepare for a delivery. With the horse-power that we have I assume we can make it happen?¡± Devona glares at me. I sigh. ¡°Then take Emerald and the woman. We''ll catch up.¡± I tell her. ¡°Halt!¡± The carriage stops. ¡°What''s happening?¡± The man asks, all worried. Devona takes some of the drapes and steps outside. I help Ella out too. ¡°Emerald, we need a favor.¡± The Saber looks at the two women. ¡°Understood.¡± She lays down and lets the woman climb on her. Devona wraps the drapes around Emerald''s neck and climbs on too, making sure to secure Ella safely. I look up at the sky where Jerra circles us. ¡°Follow them!¡± A shriek answers me. The two drivers stare at me confused. ¡°I''ll explain later.¡± They nod. ¡°There''s a small base west from the border. I''ll contact them, telling them to meet you. They should be able to have everything you''ll need. You''ll get there faster if you cut through the woods. Emerald should be able to handle it. Once you get back into the open, keep going a straight line. Jerra will keep an eye on you from above.¡± ¡°Perfect. Meet you there. Don''t worry. You''re in good hands.¡± Devona tells Ella. Sharden nods to his wife and the ladies ride off. ¡°Who is she?¡± The man asks. ¡°The Queen of Noxanda. Let''s go.¡± I get back inside the carriage and we move again. I reach out to Lyma and quickly ask for assistance. He knows better than to question me so the arrangements get done nice and fast. Now then. On to the next issue. ¡°Sharden. I have a few questions to ask of you.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Do you know anything about bandits? There was a horde of them raiding around a few months ago?¡± ¡°Oh. Yes. I heard a bit from the merchs. Why?¡± ¡°Have my reasons. What did they tell you?¡± ¡°That a handful of bandits attacked some of our people along the way to the port... They stole a small boat and went out into the sea. The merchs said that they looked like they were running from the devil himself. Or so the people reported... That''s all.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± If what Emerald said is true, and I have no reason to doubt her, then that handful should be the survivors... A handful of them wouldn''t make much of an impression over here. No wonder Carniran fought against us. He probably thought of it as a ruse, but anyone with a half of brain wouldn''t buy that. We were the ones to initiate Peace. We have no grounds to break it... Whatever. Now then. If the thugs got onto a boat, there¡¯s a good chance that they made their way toward Rebellion. The Land of Race holds no authority there... Finding a handful of idiots amongst idiots would be nearly impossible. Damn it. I was afraid of this... Whose neck am I supposed to wring now? Best case - they sank. Now that - would be good enough for me. Hope they suffered. I grin. I notice the man again. ¡°Relax. Your wife is in good hands.¡± Sharden nods. I should have gone with them... I stare out the window. Detaching a mount would have taken too long... Still. We continue off course for a while longer. The rain stops once we reach the base. A few soldiers greet us. The drivers go and take care of the mounts. Jerra runs over to me. ¡°All''s good, sir.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Emerald shows herself too. ¡°How are you holding up? ¡° ¡°Still standing. Better hurry.¡± ¡°Looks like you''re about to be a father.¡± I tell Sharden. Jerra escorts the man to his wife. ¡°You have a look on you.¡± ¡°The thugs probably went for the Rebellion. That or sank at sea.¡± A growl. Tell me about it. ¡°Master Ira?¡± A woman approaches us. ¡°This way.¡± I look at Emerald. ¡°She''s resting.¡± My heart almost sank. We follow the fighter to Devona. ¡°You''re here already.¡± ¡°How are you?¡± I stand at the end of the bed. ¡°Exhausted.¡± She answers with a smile. ¡°We made it just in time. How reckless of them.¡± ¡°Really?¡± I mock her. Devona throws me a glare. A knock on the door. I open it. Sharden stands there with a child in his arms and tears in his eyes. Devona gets out the bed with the last of her strength too. ¡°It''s a girl. Amana.¡± ¡°She''s beautiful.¡± Devona smiles. Two tiny dots on the child''s head show where the horns will be one day... 5. Shadow vs Shadow We return to Astri along with our new Cornutese friends. Against my better judgement. Then again. Ella wasn''t out of the woods yet and Devona''s Cleanser abilities are probably the best in Noxanda. Didn''t seem like there was much of a choice... Besides. Seeing Devona so determined again brings me hope that perhaps she''ll snap out of her slump. That would be a great help for us. We get the Cornutese set up in the Palace. Devona has appointed herself Ella''s personal healer, so I decided to keep them close by. Perhaps we can find some use for them... I tell Lyma what happened with Carniran and we make some preparations accordingly, just in case. My special ops team return from Repperi empty handed. No surprise there. I send them, along with the Changes to the Treaty to Cobalus next. The only way I could think of how to keep the Joint Task Force at bay, was to issue fines for impersonators and con artists. With special badges forged here in Astri. A diamond shaped crest, divided equally into four parts. Every officer will require to have one made here. The trick is to make them into Anchors, so they shrink in size when removed from the wearer. Anchor''s take high skill and materials to craft. No third-rate bandits and thugs will go through the trouble of forging one. Plus. With Noxian longevity and memory - we''ll have no trouble keeping a clean record of the officers appointed. That should prevent wannabes from playing hotshots too. Fines up to 1000 gold coins for Abuse of Power should keep the officers themselves in check plenty. Death being the last resort, just in case. I did make it weekly reports, instead of once a month, just to spite the old Geezers back in Cobalus. I realize it''s a bit much and it won''t last long, but that new War Chief really pissed me off. I''ll keep it up for six months and change it gradually to once a month... Maybe. Or not. I''ll think about it. Next on the list is the bottomless pit of problems on the desk in front of me. ¡°Venatus has responded.¡± I hear a voice. ¡°How many?¡± ¡°How many what?¡± ¡°Men. Soldiers. How many?¡± I lift my head up. ¡°None. Just a letter.¡± Lyma hands it over to me. I open it and read it. ¡°They agreed to let us through. With the condition that they will be keeping an eye on us as we investigate...¡± Well. Better than nothing, I guess. ¡°So?¡± ¡°Send a team over. Tell them to take their time just to spite them. Sharden said that there were reports of a handful of bandits stealing a boat. Look into that. Spread the search through the islands near Maris too just in case. Find me any sign of the scum.¡± ¡°Understood.¡± Lyma nods and walks away. ¡°Ah! Hold up a little!¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Can you draw?¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± Lyma stares at me. ¡°Can you do sketches like of things or people?¡± ¡°Ah, a little? Haven''t done so since my teen years, why?¡± ¡°Well start practicing. I want to have a statue of the King build in front of the entrance.¡± ¡°What a... Great idea!¡± ¡°Thanks. I got it from the Balli on my last visit. I''d do it myself, but I suck at arts.¡± ¡°You mean besides killing?¡± Lyma gives me a childish smile. ¡°Really?¡± I glare lightly. It''s good to see him smile even for a moment. I really need people I can trust. ¡°I''ll see what I can do.¡± ¡°Thanks. Oh, just don''t forget his axe and sword, you know.¡± I raise my hands in his signature tilted parallel swing with both blades in tow. ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I nod. I feel my eyes glaze over. I shake my head and rub my neck a little. Perhaps I do need a break... I take a quick look around and dive under. I emerge in the Heir''s room. The child is sound asleep in her cradle. Why isn''t anyone here? She might cry if she wakes up all alone. I hover over the creature. She''s looking less ghostly. Good. Whatever the maidens are doing, is working. With everything happening so fast since I got back, I barely had the time to take a good look at her... She looks so peaceful... ¡°I''m sooo sorry, lovely... I know I shouldn''t be the one watching over you...¡± I whisper. ¡°I''m so, so, sorry you ended up with a dead fool for a father... Try not to hold it against him, though... He loved you dearly. That - I am sure of...¡± Such a fragile creature... Tiny... Powerless... I brush the back of my fingers across her puffy cheek... Warm and soft. I smile lightly... ¡°I''m so sorry, cuteness... I can''t bring your father back, but I''ll try to keep your mother for you... That. I promise you.¡± The little one squirms a little in her sleep. Her face frowns a bit. A weird sound, neither a cry, nor a groan escapes her tiny body. Suddenly, the frown disappears of her and peace returns to the little one''s face. Her breathing goes back to normal too. Only then I notice my own hand on her belly. Strange. When did I? I try to move away, but the child squirms again. I stand there for a bit longer. Mesmerized by the quiet warmth... ¡°How can anyone dare to hurt such a creature?¡± I let go and return to the Throne Hall through the shadows. No time to rest. I dive back into the piles of scrolls and books with papers and parchments all over... I keep going through the mountain of papers. This is too much for one of me... Damn it. I hoped we could handle it... I sigh over the desk. ¡°Lyma?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Are you busy?¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± ¡°If it''s not too much trouble, may I have some assistance, please?¡± ¡°Of course. Be right there.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I sort the reports as I wait for Lyma. ¡°Sir?¡± I raise my head and wave over to the man. ¡°We need help.¡± I tell him pointing to the never-ending problems. ¡°What do you have in mind?¡± ¡°As much as I hate to say it and I really hate to say it, but we need a Council.¡± Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. ¡°You mean like the one you dismantled?¡± Lyma mocks me lightly. I give him a look. ¡°Not quite. I was hoping for something smarter, less annoying, younger, perhaps? And well versed in the matters at hand.¡± ¡°I''ll ask again. Like who?¡± ¡°That''s just it. I have no clue. As far as I understand, we need experts on, well, every area you can think of. There is so much I alone can do and frankly, I''m suited for something more strategic, rather than economic...¡± ¡°Yes, well, I can see why.¡± Lyma takes another jab at me. ¡°Ha ha.¡± I roll my eyes again. ¡°I''m thinking we need to screen and select carefully most suited candidates.¡± ¡°Screen?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I nod. ¡°Check backgrounds, make sure they aren''t radical, you know, interrogate. Or something.¡± I shrug my shoulders. ¡°Or something?¡± Lyma continues to stare at me slightly confused. ¡°We have a ton of living, breathing lie detectors - shouldn''t be too hard.¡± ¡°I see.¡± He nods. ¡°Well. A list of questions and something to focus on what to look for would help us out. If you can give us some guidelines, we can take it from there.¡± ¡°That''s exactly what I want to hear.¡± I smile. ¡°I''ll get on that right now and have you the list ready by morning.¡± ¡°Perhaps you should take it easy, Master? I''m sure we can afford another day or two without the Council. The people are managing.¡± ¡°Yes. Our people. But the Treaty needs to be kept on a tight leash right now or we''ll be back to blood baths soon enough. I appreciate your concern. Thank you.¡± I yawn. ¡°But I''ll rest when I''m dead. Right now, I have work to do.¡± ¡°As you wish. Then is there something I can help with right now?¡± ¡°Actually, yes. Here.¡± I hand him the reports from the Balli and the Cornutese. ¡°See if our men found anything over there. Though I doubt it, but still. The sooner we finish with our pretend investigation, the sooner everyone will put their spikes down. We started the whole mess, we need to make sure we finish it properly.¡± ¡°Roger that.¡± Lyma takes his pile and begins sorting them on the other table. With everything going on we had to add more work space here. The Throne Hall looks like an obstacle course now. How the Hell did He manage all this by himself? He really did make good on his promise to study and learn, huh? I smile a little again at the memory of my dear friend... ¡°Got a minute?¡± Huh? I turn around from one of the tables. ¡°Blain! Yeah! Sure! What''s up?¡± We shake forearms. ¡°Not much. I got word from the Land of Exile.¡± His tone tells me there isn''t anything to tell... He sighs. Yeah. "Nothing suspicious over there. They said that bandits know better than to steal from dead men...¡± ¡°I was afraid of this. This only confirms the worst for me.¡± ¡°We were the reason for it all.¡± Blain finishes my thought for me. I nod. ¡°Well. Is there anything you wanna do now?¡± ¡°No. We already have everything we need. Well. Kind of. Tell your guys to come home if they haven''t yet.¡± ¡°Will do. Anything more I can help you with?¡± ¡°Sure. Here.¡± I pick up the pages. ¡°Take a look at these. Blain takes the papers from me. ¡°Oh. Nice. You make these?¡± He looks over the drawings. ¡°Nah. Lyma did.¡± ¡°Cool. I like these two. But you can''t really see his face in this one.¡± He holds up the swinging blades one. I smile. ¡°Yeah. I had the same thought just now.¡± ¡°This one works.¡± He holds up the one with the sword in the ground and the axe above the head. ¡°This for the statue, right?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± I take the picture again. This could work. ¡°He''d hate it, you know. He never did get used to the attention.¡± Blain says. ¡°Good things he isn''t here to complain.¡± I try to joke, but it feels weird... That''s a lie. There is nothing good about him not being here... Blain cracks a strange smile. ¡°It''d be fun to see him pout about it, though.¡± That, I can see. ¡°I''ll leave you to it. Still got some responsibilities left.¡± ¡°Thanks. Hey, do me one last favor. Have the guys started on this.¡± I hand him the picture. ¡°Ask the Primerians for help. I want this perfect and a block of stone is delicate work.¡± ¡°Roger that.¡± Blain nods. ¡°Thanks.¡± I stand there for a moment, watching the two empty chairs again. I hesitate for another painful moment. Screw it. I take his chair and take it down a few steps, placing it next to smaller desk. I come back up and center her chair. Whether we want to admit it or not, but we have only a Queen left... No other King will ever sit there again, not till Zarri wishes for it... I was hoping that having Ella and Amana around would spark some of the motherly instincts back into Devona, but this mother is nowhere to be found... I sigh and go under again, leaving the munchkin in her cradle. ¡°How long do you plan on wasting away?¡± ¡°Leave me.¡± A muffled answer. I sigh. ¡°My job is to protect you from the shadows. I can''t do that if you become the shadow itself.¡± I tell her. ¡°He wouldn''t want to see you this way...¡± ¡°He wouldn''t have to see me this way IF HE WAS HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!¡± She shrieks. Tell me about it... ¡°You can''t wallow in that misery forever.¡± ¡°Watch me.¡± ¡°I am. Sadly. You''re missing out on her. You won''t even hold her... She lost her father. Don''t take her mother away from her too.¡± ¡°I can''t...¡± She peaks out. ¡°I can''t look at her...¡± ¡°Does it hurt seeing him in her so much for you?¡± Devona sits up in the bed. Her light blue hue was gone to a sickly grey again.. Her hair has lost its shine too... ¡°I can''t... I don''t deserve to hold her...¡± Come again? ¡°All I can see is my own weakness and guilt... I... She''s better off without me...¡± Of all the idiotic! ¡°You know what your problem is. You''re too full of yourself. You think that you''re weak and pathetic now that Wykren isn''t here to hold your hand anymore. As far as I remember, you were plenty a badass before him! All you''re doing now is just hiding behind a convenient excuse as to avoid your responsibilities as the Queen and the mother. Pathetic. All you see is your own weakness and guilt? Spare me! What the hell do you think I see in her?!¡± I smash my hand into the bed post. ¡°I was the one who swore to protect you two and failed miserably... All because...¡± Words get caught inside my chest... ¡°All because I wasn''t... I couldn''t... I can''t replace him! I''m not as strong as him to do what he did for me! I knew that from day one! I''m not her father! I''ll never be! Wykren''s gone! We know that! She doesn''t! Not yet...¡± I grip the post tight... ¡°All she has left in this world is you, but you''re too busy being a selfish brat and throwing a forever-tantrum! The least you can do is have her near you! Have him near you! She will grow up and leave here and you won''t even see it happen.¡± I calm myself again and straighten out. ¡°You''ll regret it if you miss it.¡± I leave her and walk out the room again. I return to Zarri''s bedside... Sound asleep... How strange... I feel... Calm near her... Not cold or empty, rather relaxed and at ease... Such a pure and innocent little creature... I reach out to her tiny fist and poke it with my finger. She wraps her fingers around it and holds onto it. I smile. I never once saw myself having one of these, but now... Who am I kidding... An assassin in the truest sense like me cannot possibly... I slip my tainted hand out of range of the stainless soul... ¡°Can I hold her?¡± I turn to where the frail sound comes from. ¡°She''s your daughter.¡± I step aside the cradle. Devona walks over closer. I put a chair down for her, pick his child up and give her to her mother. Devona carefully takes her daughter into her arms. I hold on to her a moment longer and let go. ¡°She''s so tiny..." Devona''s breathing heavy. She''s weak... "Hi, baby... I''m so sorry... I''m so sorry for being a lousy mother for you... I couldn''t...¡± ¡°Don''t start now. You''ll wake her. Just hold her. You don''t need to do anything else.¡± ¡°Mh...¡± I stand watch over the broken mother, as she struggles with the reality in her arms... 6. Trials and Errors ¡°Give me the Stone.¡± I hold my hand out. ¡°She''s turning five in a week. It''s about time she knows about Emerald.¡± Ira unwraps the chain off his wrist and hands me the Stone. ¡°As you wish.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I nod and go see Emerald in the Stables. ¡°To what do I owe the honor?¡± I hear her growl inside my mind. ¡°How did you know I have the Stone?¡± ¡°Assassin warned me.¡± Tch. Should have known. ¡°Is it a problem?¡± ¡°No.¡± I always felt cold around her... Now''s not the time to lose it. ¡°I have a favor to ask.¡± Emerald lifts her up to me and my heart stops for a moment. Those eyes... I understand why Wykren fell for them... ¡°Gazarria is turning five soon. I''d like to gift you to her. If you''ll allow it.¡± She doesn''t answer me. ¡°However. When you''ll talk to her about Wykren and I know she''ll ask you about him, I need you to leave me out of it.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°She doesn''t need to know about me. Just him. I want her to know what an amazing person her father was. I''m begging you.¡± I bow down to the Saber. ¡°As you wish.¡± I straighten out. Emerald lowers her head again. ¡°Anything else?¡± ¡°Yes. Protect her.¡± I see one eye aimed at me. ¡°Do not fail her like you did him. Or I will be the one to put an end to you myself.¡± ¡°I don''t need you to tell me that. I stayed alive this whole time only so I could repay my debt to Ren. I will not repeat the same mistake twice in the same lifetime.¡± ¡°Good. Then, if you''ll excuse me.¡± I leave the Stables. ¡°Think it''s a good idea to leave yourself out of Wykren''s life?¡± Ira stands next to the entrance. ¡°It''s my call to make.¡± ¡°As you wish, Priestess.¡± Ira disappears into the Shadows again. I have tried my best to be a mother for her these past five years, but I am nearing my limit. I feel it... I am not able to pretend to smile around her... I¡¯m neither a mother, nor a ruler. I¡¯m not even a woman anymore¡­ No. I¡¯m not even human¡­ I feel cold and empty and dead¡­ I tried my best to love her, but¡­ My capacity to love is in shambles still¡­ It was easy to pretend I was fine while she was an infant, but now¡­ I don¡¯t want to lie to her¡­ Loving her is too painful¡­ I need more time¡­ I know I need to be happy because of her birthday, that the land celebrates so joyfully, but I cannot ignore the fact that my soul is hurting for my husband still... I stand in front of Zarri''s bedroom door. Clenching the Stone... I knock once. ¡°Zarri?¡± The door opens and my little one stares at me for a quick second. ¡°Mommy!¡± She quickly wraps herself around my legs. ¡°Hello, Treasure.¡± I pick her up to me, go inside and set us down on her bed. ¡°I have something for you.¡± She lets go. ¡°It''s a little early, but here.¡± I give her the Stone. ¡°Pretty!¡± She grabs it. ¡°What is it?¡± She twirls the whole thing around, getting her tiny hands wrapped up in the chain. I take it from her and hang it around her neck. It''s a bit big on her, but it looks relieving. Wykren made sure to make the chain adjustable. He had a knack for details... I secure the necklace and point to the Stone. ¡°This is a Lector Stone. You can use it to speak to another.¡± ¡°Who! How! Do you have one?¡± I smile. Her enthusiasm is just like his... ¡°I do have one, but mine is different. This one.¡± I point again. ¡°Is special.¡± ¡°Special how?¡± ¡°It talks to one person only.¡± ¡°Who! Ira?¡± I laugh at her eagerness. ¡°Sorry, honey-baby, no.¡± ¡°Aw.¡± She pouts. ¡°Her name is Emerald.¡± ¡°Emerald! Pretty!¡± ¡°Yes she is. Very much so.¡± I stroke Zarri''s head. ¡°How do I talk to her? Is she in there?¡± Zarri pokes the Stone a few times. ¡°Kind of. Listen. You need call for her inside your mind. Can you do that?¡± ¡°I...¡± ¡°Try. Call out to her.¡± Zarri shuts her eyes closed, clenching the Stone, hard. So cute. ¡°OH!¡± She lets go of the Stone and jumps up. ¡°SOMETHING JUST SPOKE INSIDE MY HEAD! WHAT WAS THAT!¡± I can''t tell if she''s excited or afraid. I sit her back down. ¡°That, was Emerald. She is a dear friend of your dad''s.¡± ¡°She knew dad?¡± I nod. ¡°Emerald is special. You can have her, if you promise to take good care of her. Can you do that?¡± ¡°YES! YES I CAN!¡± Zarri jumps up and down the bed again. She jumps my neck and hugs me. ¡°Thank you!¡± She doesn''t even know what Emerald is, yet. ¡°Good, good. Happy birthday, honey-baby.¡± I set her down again. ¡°Is it because of dad that you look so sad or me?¡± Huh? Zarri looks up at me. She saw right through me¡­ I... My mask crumbles. I slide down the edge of the bed and cry in my daughter¡¯s lap... ¡°Forgive me... My sweet child... I''m sooo sorry... Wykren... Forgive me...¡± I feel soft pats on the back of my head... ¡°There there... I will love mommy enough for daddy too! There there...¡± I take my time to sob some more, comforted by a five-year-old... Pathetic¡­ I am beyond pathetic¡­ ¡°Congratulations, Mistress, it seems your Magic has awakened.¡± The Cleanser announces after finishing the regular checkup. If Zarri turned six about 8months ago, she¡¯s basically seven, what''s a few more months. Depending on how strong her power is, it can take a bit longer for it to fully kick in¡­ With her powers on the way, I doubt I''ll call off the checkups any time soon. I''m not willing to take any chances with the rough beginning that she had. Zarri looks at me confused. ¡°It means you have Mana. With it you''ll be able to use Magic.¡± ¡°What king of Magic?¡± I shrug my shoulders. ¡°We''ll see. There are a few to choose from. We''ll start at the basics and see how it goes, sound good?¡± The girl nods. ¡°Alright. Is that all?¡± I ask the maiden. ¡°Yes, Master.¡± ¡°Then get lost.¡± The woman nods and leaves. I crouch down by Little Zarri. ¡°Close your eyes for me.¡± She does as told. ¡°Tell me if you see anything. A light. A color. Anything at all?¡± Zarri furrows her brown. Adorable. I fight the laughter and wait. She snaps her blues open and stares at me disappointed. ¡°Nothing.¡± Guess Mage is off the list. Their class is the easiest to tell apart. Once the Mana awakens, the affinity shows itself too. Though it could be it''s weak still... We''ll see. ¡°No worries. We''ll try something else later. Give me a moment.¡± Zarri nods. ¡°Blain? Got a minute?¡± ¡°What''s up?¡± ¡°How do Druids test for affinities?¡± ¡°Oof. It''s a process, why?¡± ¡°The Heir''s Magic is here. Not a Mage though. As far as I can tell. Though anything can happen. It''s too soon to tell for sure.¡± ¡°Oh. Well congrats! Give me a few hours, I''ll get everything ready as soon as I finish up with today¡¯s lectures.¡± ¡°Take your time. And thanks.¡± ¡°Don''t mention it.¡± ¡°What?¡± Zarri points behind me. I glance over my shoulder. A Robe stands in the doorway of the infirmary. ¡°Need something?¡± ¡°We heard the good news! The Heir has Magic! We must confirm her affinity as soon as possible!¡± Is it just me or does it not matter if it''s a new Geezer or an old one - they all share some sort of a lunatic gene... ¡°I''m taking care of that.¡± ¡°Ah. And?¡± ¡°Not a Mage. We''ll test for Druid next.¡± ¡°Wonderful! May we join you?¡± Say what now? ¡°We''ll see.¡± I take the little one by the hand and we take our leave. ¡°Excuse us.¡± I make the Geezer move with my glare alone. ¡°Ah, a moment?¡± ¡°Make it quick.¡± I turn back. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°I don''t believe it''s fitting for Chief Secretary to be playing babysitter. I believe the Council would be better suited to oversee the Heir''s development.¡± ¡°Your concern has been noted. One. And Two. As Chief of Security, it is my top priority to secure the safety of the Heir. You call it babysitting, I call it bodyguarding.¡± ¡°Ah, yes, well, what about the Priestess then? Does she not require protection?¡± ¡°The Priestess is under strict orders to remain bed written until she is fully recovered. There are guards stationed outside her door.¡± ¡°Yes, well¨C¡± ¡°If you think I''ll allow the Heir to be left in the Geezer Council care even for a moment without me present, you ought to reconsider. I don''t trust you people. Period.¡± ¡°Having been the one to test us before selecting, I thought...¡± ¡°What? You thought what?¡± I glare again. No answer. Wise choice. The main idea was to have Zarri paired up with a variety of teachers, but with Devona out of the picture again, I don''t trust the Heir alone with the fools. That''s why I had them set up camp with her lessons in the Throne Hall. All so I can keep an eye on them better. Of course, I can''t do anything much about the times when I''m needed elsewhere, but still. I can afford to keep Zarri close by as much as I can. I wish Lyma hadn''t quit though... His replacements are trying, but... I feel a tug. I look down. A pair of concerned eyes stare up at me. I crouch down. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Can I use my Magic to make Mom happy?¡± Such an innocent creature. ¡°Sure. Then, wanna be a Cleanser like her?¡± ¡°Will I have to learn a mountain of spells?¡± I laugh a little. ¡°Yes. Maybe two or three mountains even.¡± Zarri scowls. ¡°I hate studying! It''s boring! Books are boring! I tried a few and fell asleep...¡± She persists with her pouting. I try my best to maintain a straight face. ¡°Then I guess being a Shaman is out of the question too, huh?¡± ¡°Those are the Overtake ones, right?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°That''d be cool! Can I do that! I wanna do that!¡± ¡°Sorry, kiddo, if you don''t have an affinity, you can''t try out for the Overtake.¡± ¡°Aawww!¡± She pouts some more. ¡°Then I wanna be a Shadow! Like you!¡± She throws her hands into the air. ¡°No.¡± I stand up again. ¡°Wha! Whyyyy!!¡± ¡°Cause. Leave the Shadows to me.¡± I take her hand again and we continue. ¡°Meanie.¡± She mumbles. ¡°Give it time. It may be a little while before an affinity awakens fully. You might just have your chance at Overtake still.¡± ¡°Can I be a Necromancer?¡± ¡°Nope. Only Primerians can be those.¡± ¡°... I forgot.¡± ¡°There''s always a chance you''re a Druid.¡± ¡°Oh! OH! That sounds cool!¡± ¡°Yes it is.¡± We get stopped by some reports. I sigh. ¡°Why don''t you go and stay with Emerald for a little bit? Looks like I have some business to tend to.¡± Zarri''s eyes dim a little. ¡°''kay¡­¡± She slips her hand out and walks away from me. Poor thing. Nobody ever lets her be a child... Too bad that Sharden and Ella moved out, they had a child about the same age as Zarri. The Palace people shy away from fraternizing with "the Heir", after that one incident especially... If only there was something I could do for her... ¡°So, where is the little one?¡± I look from the papers. ¡°Has it been a few hours already?¡± ¡°Yup.¡± Blain nods. ¡°Alright.¡± I set the feather down. ¡°Walk me through it. You said it''s a process.¡± ¡°Yeah, well.¡± Blain sets a pouch on one of the tables. ¡°Druids don¡¯t have an affinity like Mages. Druidic powers take the longest to awaken on their own. There is a way to test for it, but it might take a few tries too.¡± ¡°How so? Is it dangerous?¡± Blain cracks a smile at me. ¡°Anyone ever tell ya you¡¯re a bit over-protective?¡± ¡°Bite me. Answer the question.¡± He laughs some more. ¡°There''s this tea. It helps to induce a trance. It can take a few tries because each person is different, so the amount of tea used differs. Too much and they can get stuck in the Astral Plain, not enough and it won''t have an effect, making it a false negative. Don''t worry. We''ll start with half the minimal amount for her. She''s very young, after all.¡± ¡°And if we don''t test her? How long will it take to know if she''s a Druid?¡± Blain shrugs his shoulders. ¡°Days. Years. My druidic form didn''t manifest till my late teens.¡± ¡°Late teens?¡± ¡°Oh yeah. Druids are cut from a different cloth than the rest of the magic users. Right before we shift, we begin having these dreams. Though in reality, it is our Spirit detaching itself from the physical body and connecting to the Spirit Realm. Or trying to. Beast types see everything from an animal''s perspective. Like running through the forest, or swimming in the sea, even flying through the trees. Most cases the Beast simply merges with the Spirit in their sleep and wakes up already shifted.¡± ¡°You''re kidding.¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± Blain smiles. ¡°What about Ravo''s then?¡± ¡°They report having a strong feeling after their dreams, as if being drawn to plants and trees, when their powers awaken. They also share the same dream pattern - images of plants moving in slow motion.¡± ¡°You''re making this up.¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± Blain smiles again. ¡°What about Celestians?¡± ¡°Well. Legend has it that since Celestians are connected to Cosmic powers they should have dreams like floating around between stars and such.¡± ¡°And such?¡± I stare at the man. ¡°There hasn''t been a Celestian since the first Starfall. The possibility is there, but...¡± ¡°Gotchya. Is there any other way how a Druid can merge with a Spirit?¡± ¡°Sure. Some Spirits cross over, no, rather they don''t cross over and wonder the realm of the living for no reason. A Beast druid will be able to sense it if close by and would be able to enter a trance by themselves to approach the Spirit. It takes some trial and error to get the detachment down. It''s similar to how we learn to shift between forms. Some Druids say they get called out to by the Spirits to certain spots in the wild in their dreams. They get vivid images of the location and go out there to look for the Spirit.¡± ¡°A Spirit calling for help?¡± Blain nods. ¡°Something like it. Each beast has its own habitat. Some never leave them even in death. Other Spirits learn that through Druids then are able to live more, so they stick around.¡± ¡°I never knew that.¡± I admit. ¡°Is there anything else to the test I should know about?¡± ¡°Not really. If you want to know how the tea works, or rather not, you can try it. Just to get a feel for it.¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Ok, so, for your weight, I''d say we''d need about this much. Blain takes out three heaping teaspoons of herbs.¡± I stare at him. ¡°Like I said - we''ll start small with her. Half a teaspoon. Like so.¡± He dusts off the teaspoon. ¡°Ok... Get the tea ready then. I''ll go get the Heir.¡± ¡°Do you ever call her by her name?¡± ¡°Not with people around. I know my place.¡± I answer. I find Zarri curled up next to Emerald. I have to say. I miss talking to her. We manage with glances and nods, but still. The Cat notices me first and warns the little one. ¡°Ira!¡± Zarri runs over. ¡°Having fun?¡± ¡°A little. What''s up?¡± ¡°Wanna see if you can be a Druid?¡± ¡°Sure! What do I have to do?¡± ¡°Come with me. We have everything ready.¡± I give her my hand. She runs back to Emerald, gives her a quick hug and runs back to my hand. ¡°Later!¡± She waves to the Saber. I nod too. We return to the Throne Hall. Damn it. The Geezers slithered in too. Whatever. ¡°What''s going on?¡± I feel a little squeeze on my hand. ¡°Don''t worry about it. You just do as Blain tells you, ok?¡± ¡°''kay...¡± ¡°Mistress, good to see you, again.¡± Blain smiles. ¡°Hello.¡± ¡°Have her sit down there. She needs to be comfortable.¡± Blain points to a chair. I nod to Zarri and she climbs on. ¡°This one''s yours.¡± The Druid hands me a mug. What a... Some odor... ¡°And this one is yours.¡± He hands another cup to Zarri. ¡°Don''t worry if it doesn''t work on the first try. It happens.¡± ¡°Ok. Thank you.¡± Zarri takes the cup and stares at it intensely. ¡°Whenever you''re ready.¡± Blain says. ¡°Don''t worry, I''ll be drinking the same. See.¡± I show her the mug. ¡°Are you a Druid too?¡± She looks at me. ¡°No. I''m just making sure everything is ok.¡± I smile briefly to her. ¡°Ok¡­¡± Zarri takes a quick breath and gulps the whole thing down. I follow her lead. Ew. ¡°All gone, now what.¡± She hands the cup back to Blain. He flips an hour glass. ¡°Now we wait for about five minutes. If you''re a Druid we''ll know then. But like I said, it can take a few tries, so be patient, please.¡± ¡°Ok.¡± Zarri nods again. I can tell she''s not feeling too comfortable with people staring at her, but she tries hard to hide it. The hour glass empties out. ¡°Well?¡± I look at Blain. ¡°Well. I can tell for sure that you''re not a Druid.¡± ¡°Gee, ya don''t say.¡± I roll my eyes at him. Zarri lets out a giggle. ¡°What about me?¡± The little one raises her hand. ¡°Sorry, Mistress, we''ll need to try again tomorrow.¡± ¡°Oh. Ok then...¡± ¡°What is it?¡± I ask the girl. She squirms in her chair and gestures for me to lean in. I do as told. ¡°Will I have to bury myself in books like you do, and be all sad, if I can''t be a Druid?¡± Oh you, sweet creature... ¡°We''ll see.¡± I tell her standing up again. She does not seem happy about it... ¡°Is that all then?¡± I ask Blain. He nods. ¡°Then, can I go play now?¡± Zarri raises a hand. "Pardon me, Mistress, but it''s time for your lesson." A Robe steps up. The spark fades completely from Zarri''s eyes. She crawls down the chair. ¡°Sure. Thank you. Excuse me.¡± She curtsies for Blain and me and goes over to the Geezer. This will be the seventh try. Blain hands the mug again to Zarri and me. I''ve been drinking the putrid stuff purely to keep Zarri company. Her enthusiasm faded after the 3rd attempt. To be honest I¡¯m not even sure why we keep doing this. Then again, she''s showing no signs for a Mage affinity either, what do we have to lose? We gulp the tea down and wait... Again... Strange. Zarri''s head keeps nodding. ¡°Oh. Well now.¡± Blain steps in and catches Zarri. ¡°Look at that. She''s in.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± I come over too. ¡°She''s a Druid after all.¡± Blain looks at me. ¡°Time her.¡± I check my pocket watch. ¡°How long will she be out?¡± ¡°No clue. Not too long, I think. We increased the tea slowly, so she should be coming back any moment now. How long has it been?¡± ¡°3minutes. How do you know it''s working?¡± ¡°Come here. Check her.¡± Blain points to her throat. I place my fingers on the pulse. ¡°What the?¡± ¡°A trance is a state of death. Her Spirit is detached from the vessel, hence the lack of pulse. But her vessel is alive still. She needs a place to come back to, so the body continues to breathe.¡± ¡°You failed to mention this a week ago because?¡± I glare at the man. ¡°You never would have allowed it if I did. Why do you think I added two-three leaves at a time.¡± Blain whispers. ¡°Time?¡± ¡°5minutes.¡± ¡°Huh? Did I fall asleep?¡± Zarri rubs her eyes. I finally exhale again. ¡°Yes you did. Congratulations, Mistress, you''re a Druid!¡± ¡°Really! Which one!¡± ¡°Well, what did you see in your dream?¡± Blain asks. ¡°I... I don''t know... I don''t remember.¡± Zarri pouts. ¡°Guess she wasn¡¯t under long enough to remember.¡± Blain tells me. ¡°It''s ok, Mistress, your powers will come to you on their own. Be patient, please.¡± 7. The Truth and the Pain The increase in problems lately is getting on my nerves. Why the Hell did I go through the trouble of getting help if I''m stuck solving all of the problems myself, still? ¡°There. That should do it.¡± I hand the plans back to the hatchling and leave the workshop. ¡°Ah!¡± ¡°What!¡± I turn around. Something''s off. I can''t put my finger on it, but... ¡°Why do I get the feeling you''re stalling?¡± The boy shuts his mouth. His eyes widen. Oh Hell. ¡°Who.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°On whose orders are you making an idiot out of me!¡± I grab his shirt and pull him in. ¡°The Council! The current...¡± He shuts his eyes. I drop him and go back to the Palace. I should have known... It''s been days now since I''ve been constantly requested outside of the Palace... Screams echo through the halls. A roar rings next. Oh no. I run in. Emerald roars in the middle of the Throne Hall. She sways to the sides and swipes. ¡°What is this!¡± I call out. The Cat sees me and jumps over, roaring right in my face. Her eyes are in pain... Her body writhes again, the fur stands on its ends. ¡°Where''s the Heir! Where is she!¡± ¡°The dungeon!¡± A maiden answers me from behind. She''s out of breath. ¡°The Advisors took her there!¡± She points out. Emerald jumps out first. I run after her. ¡°Where!¡± I grab the woman with me and dive under. I emerge by the entrance. Emerald''s closing in. ¡°Last cell, end of corridor...¡± The maiden collapses. I set her down, gently. ¡°You heard her! GO!¡± I point. Emerald runs past me. ¡°SHADOWS!¡± A pack of men emerge next to me. I get running again too. ¡°Wanna explain it to me how the Heir ended up in the dungeon alone with the Geezers?¡± ¡°We were told you approved!¡± Someone answers. ¡°We didn''t know they took her there!¡± ¡°What''s the #1 Rule of the Shadows?¡± I ask. ¡°Trust nothing...¡± A feint mumble¡­ ¡°DAMN IT!¡± One of the youngsters picks up speed and runs past me. Screams reach us as we make our way through the stone corridor. What¡¯s that buzzing? Another scream. Higher. Lighter... Zarri! Shattering sound follows suit. I jump a shadow and stand in the broken-down doorway of the cell. What in the... Emerald stands guard over a curled-up Zarri in the middle of a pile of scattered glass... Some sort of a device is placed next to Zarri. Four Robes take refuge in a corner each. The Shadows catch up. ¡°Finally! Get that Beast under control! Do you not realize how difficult it was to get one of these!¡± ¡°Not to mention the price!¡± ¡°I know this. It''s one of Primerian toys.¡± A Shadows points to the thing. ¡°What does it do?¡± I ask the guard. ¡°Turning the handles here generates power, something happens here;¡± he points to a part of the contraption; ¡°and my guess - lighting comes out there.¡± He points to the opening inside the glass dome... ¡°Say what now?¡± I walk over to the device. ¡°You better not have been doing here what I think you have...¡± ¡°You don''t understand!¡± ¡°It''s for the sake of Noxanda!¡± ¡°Just imagine what we can achieve with a Celestian at our disposal!¡± ¡°This is merely to help awaken the power!¡± ¡°This is nothing compared to the Cosmic Energy!¡± I punch the lights out for the nearest Robe and walk over to Zarri. Emerald allows me to take her, although I feel the anger aimed at me. I hear ya... ¡°I..ra?¡± ¡°I gotchya.¡± I whisper. ¡°What are you doing!¡± ¡°Give us the Heir!¡± A pair of hands come into my line of sigh. I pull my dagger out. ¡°Make another move.¡± I hold my hand straight out. ¡°I''ll slit you open where you stand.¡± I tilt the blade a little. The Robe doesn''t say anything. Nor anyone else. ¡°As of this moment. Nobody will touch this child. Ever. She''s not a toy or a tool to be used for your wicked delusions. You are here to serve her. Not the other way round.¡± I sheath my blade. ¡°Lock ''em up. There are plenty of cells to choose from. Don''t worry. I''ll make sure the Queen hears of this. You''ll be lucky if she orders you to a blade instead of the rope.¡± I leave the Shadows to deal with the bastards. Emerald and I take Zarri out of the cell. ¡°Go and wait for us in her room. I wanna talk to her alone.¡± I tell the Cat over my shoulder. She blinks once at me. I slip through the shadows. I set Zarri down on the roof as we reappear again. She''s a bit out of it... I take the opportunity to compose myself... ¡°What? Where?¡± She wakes up. ¡°You''re ok now. It''s just us.¡± Zarri sits up and hugs her knees. ¡°Wanna tell me what happened?¡± She shakes her head. ¡°Why did you go with them?¡± Nothing. ¡°Why didn''t you wait for me?¡± No answer. ¡°Why didn''t you tell us what''s going on?¡± Silence. ¡°Zarri, please...¡± ¡°They said it would help...¡± ¡°Help who?¡± ¡°Help with my powers... They said I could help a lot of people if I...¡± She chokes up a little. I give her time... ¡°They said people would love me if I... They said Mom would be happy... So I...¡± Oh Hell... I cover my mouth with my hand. ¡°I just wanted to be useful!¡± And she bursts into a cry, falls over to the side and grabs onto the fabric of my pants. ¡°Nobody ever plays with me! Nobody ever lets me do anything I want! Nobody wants to be my friend!¡± Zarri bawls her eyes out. ¡°NOBODY wants me!¡± She cries out. ¡°NOBODY loves me!¡± Another shriek... Oh no... Sweetness, no... I freeze up with my hand over her back... Can I? She''s not an infant anymore... Is it allowed? ¡°Dad''s dead! Mom''s always sick because of me!¡± It''s starting to hurt... ¡°Emerald never leaves the Stables! You''re never there when I!!¡± Her cries pick up again... The stupid collective guilt of ours drove her into a corner... She did what she thought would be best... My heart aches just listening to her cries... My spirit breaks. My arms embrace the frightened girl and I hold her to me... Little Zarri burrows into my chest. Her cries muffle themselves into my body. Damn it. I am too weak for this... I look up into the sky... Devona, you bitch. This is supposed to be your job... Wykren too! You, bastard! How dare you do this to this creature! Look at her! Frail, weak, scared, lost and confused... Little Zarri cries herself to sleep. I cradle her a minute longer. Maybe an hour... Who knows... I carefully slip through the shadows and emerge again in the Throne Hall. The evening sun casts assassin perfect shadows here. I carry the little one back to her room. Emerald lays in the middle of it. Good. It''s about time she returned to us. I lay Zarri down in the bed and lightly tuck her in. I stand guard over her for a little bit longer and slip through the shadows to see the mother. I find the useless woman in her usual spot. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°What is it now?¡± I throw the covers off her. ¡°Get up. Get up right now. I had enough of you.¡± ¡°Who are you tell me what to do.¡± Devona pulls the other blanket on her. I grab her hand. ¡°The one who just put your crying and scared child to sleep. Do you even know what the idiots been doing with her? Do you!¡± I glare and growl at her. ¡°You selfish bitch. All you care about is not hurting yourself! You don''t even care for the suffering his daughter goes through by herself!¡± ¡°What do you know about me!¡± She struggles. I tighten my grip. ¡°What do you know about love! What do you know about the pain it leaves behind!¡± She fights me. I don''t let go. ¡°I tried it your way! I can''t do it! I''m too weak!¡± ¡°AND I''M NOT! Just because you''re weak I''m supposed to be strong enough for the three, no, four of us? You, me, Zarri and Wykren! The hell you take me for, woman! I have my limits too you know!¡± ¡°For what! You never cared about anyone in your entire life! The way I see it you have enough space in your empty heart!¡± Her hand slips and scratches the side of my face. I feel the skin sting a little and a slight warm wets it. ¡°I have no space there. I have no heart. You stole it from me. All I have left is a soul that hurts watching your daughter shed innocent tears of fear, because she thinks she is all alone and unloved in this world. All I have is an empty shell for a body that can shield her... I love her as my own not with my heart, but with my entire existence. I''ll raise Hell for her in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. But you.¡± I look at Devona. ¡°You - I loved ever since that brutal winter in the mountains. It was you, who got my heart beating again. But before I realized what happened, Wykren had already...¡± I lean in closer to her. ¡°I''ve loved you for a lifetime. Suffering alone in my private and personal Hell because of it. I''ve lived an eternity fighting myself every. single. day. So don''t you dare talk to me about love and pain.¡± I let her hand go. ¡°I''m through saving you. You''re not worth the effort anymore. If this is the best you can do as a mother, then go ahead and rot here. It was nice knowing you.¡± I dive under and emerge next to Zarri''s bed again. Still asleep. Good. I notice my reflection in the mirror. The red streaks on my face... I borrow a towel and clean myself off. I take a health potion and splash some of it on the towel and press it against the skin. The scratches heal up nice and quick. Normally I wouldn''t care, but now... I throw the towel in the trash. Better not scare the little one. I go take one last look at the sleeping Treasure. Tiny pearls shine in the corners of her eyes. I catch one with the back of my index. Something aches inside my chest... How painfully obvious it is... I alone am not enough to ease her soul... She might not know what she is missing, but her being feels the absence of something... That something being a damned idiot... I should have died that day... Not him... ¡°Watch her. Don''t leave her side.¡± Emerald whips her tail to me. He loves me? I sit in the bed, dazed. But... He''s always so cold and... Why... Wait... Did he leave then because of me? Is that what Wykren was talking about? Owning Ira his freedom? Did Wykren know? If he did why didn''t he... Wait... Zarri! Something happened to her! I get out the bed, my foot tangles up in the blanket and I fall to my knees. I struggle for a moment to get out and quickly crawl away. Zarri! It takes me a few tries to get back up right. I limp across the corridor to Zarri''s bedroom. I open the doors and Emerald''s death stare stops me to a halt. ¡°May I see her, please?¡± I whisper. She puts her head back on her crossed paws. ¡°Thank you.¡± I carefully approach the bed. My daughter''s sound asleep... Gently, slowly, I crawl into bed next to her. Her eyes are puffy, the nose has almost a purple tint to it... She must''ve cried a lot... What I miss? What happened to you, Treasure? I stay with her through the night... Only early next morning does Zarri wake up. After a few tries, she finally tells me what the fools have been trying to do with her. My blood boils. The nerve! I wait for Zarri to fall back asleep, kiss my girl on the forehead and leave her to snooze some more. I pull myself together. How careless have I been! Idiot! Now I''ve done it! I got comfortable. As long as she was alright, I told myself she won''t need me. Moron! I let this happen! I let those fools take advantage of her! Ira was right... About everything... Why didn''t I see it sooner? Why did it take for my daughter to get electrocuted to see it! No. That''s not it. I didn''t want to see it. I didn''t want to understand it. I didn''t even try... Now I remember why. I was never interested in myself. Life was dull and boring. I was dull and boring. Nobody ever cared about me, just my use. I was worth something only if I was of some use to someone else... Then Wykren happened. For the first time, someone was interested in me... I liked that feeling. I didn''t want to give it up... That''s why... That''s why I wanted to fight for him. To fight by him... Until... My reason for my strength and power disappeared... Something beats inside of me. I know this feeling. I''m pissed. Just like that time when I had to go see Carniran. He dared to interrupt my misery and I was pissed at him for it. But now. The feeling is stronger. I feel a surge of rage like never before. This is power. This is it. I feel it. I am pissed off. I want blood. I may not care what happens to me, but nobody will hurt my, no, our child. I take a freezing cold shower. I failed to realize it. This isn''t about me... Ira was right... It''s about her. I have to be strong for her. Wykren''s gone. I can''t rely on Ira to carry that burden alone anymore. She is my flesh and blood. What a moron I have been. Hope it''s not too late to make it right... ¡°Wykren, sorry for the wait. I¡¯m going now. There are throats that need tearing.¡± I fix myself up and gather up the Geezers in the Throne Hall. With the four in chains too. I stand tall in front of our desk. ¡°Priestess! How wonderful it is to see you up and about again!¡± ¡°SAVE IT!¡± I thunder down. ¡°DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL! HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY ABSENCE!! WHO GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ELECTROCUTE MY DAUGHTER!! Lying to her alone is enough of a reason for your imprisonment, but this!! I SHALL HAVE YOUR HEADS FOR THIS!!¡± ¡°Priestess, please!¡± ¡°We meant no harm!¡± ¡°Simply wanted to help the child awaken her powers!¡± ¡°SPARE ME!¡± I continue to roar. ¡°I shall only ask this once. Who else, besides them was part of this? If nobody confesses then all of you shall face the consequences together.¡± ¡°Just them!¡± ¡°The Council has strict orders to stay with our posts. These four were the only ones stationed here!¡± ¡°We''re not even all of us here. The Council is scattered all over Noxanda...¡± I hold a hand up. The Robes shut up. ¡°This makes it easier then. You have less than a minute to convince me to let you keep breathing.¡± The Robes drop to their knees. ¡°We only had Noxanda''s best interest in mind!¡± ¡°It won''t happen again!¡± ¡°Honest!¡± ¡°On that - we can agree. Take them away.¡± Shadows surround the geezer bunch. ¡°Do with them as you see fit. I will not have morons like these under this roof. Let the public know exactly, what they are being punished for. They will decide your faith.¡± I watch the blood drain from the faces of the four imbeciles as the reality sinks in. ¡°Dismissed.¡± The rest of the Council bow to me quickly and disappear too. ¡°Priestess.¡± Ira kneels by the last step. ¡°I was the one to select the four fools. Clearly the system I used is flawed beyond my comprehension. I take full responsibility for what happened because of my failed choice. Please. If you would.¡± ¡°NO!¡± Zarri runs out, but a maiden stops her. ¡°Mistress, please!¡± ¡°It''s alright, Mistress.¡± Ira smiles to my girl. ¡°Mistakes happen. We pay for them.¡± I understand why he''s doing this. He got rid of the old Council and he was the one to put the new one in place. Part of the blame does lie with him. However... ¡°I was the one who got tricked! I fell for the lie! Punish me too!¡± Zarri slips past the maiden and hurrily climbs a few steps, tumbling and crawling. ¡°I made a mistake too!¡± Tiny tears wet her eyes. I wanna hold her... Ira stares at me desperate, begging. I sigh. ¡°In that case, I should be punished alongside you. I failed to protect you as a mother and a queen. If I had been around more, none of this would have happened in the first place. Yes, Gazarria, you fell for a lie. That was your mistake. However. You are a child still. It is my responsibility as your patent to teach you the ways of life. I failed. That is my mistake. So your mistake lies with me. As a child, you cannot be held responsible for your patents'' mistakes. So no. You will not be punished. This time. As for you.¡± I turn back to Ira. He hasn''t blinked once yet. ¡°You are more valuable to this land and our people alive. I shall overlook this incident. But. Be warned. Make sure nothing like this happens ever again. Or it will be your life at the mercy of the public. Is that understood?¡± ¡°Yes, Priestess.¡± ¡°If you wish for punishment still, feel free to spend five days in the same cell where the incident took place. Reflect well.¡± ¡°Yes, Priestess.¡± Ira dives under. I return behind the desk and sit down in the only chair... I turn to Zarri again. ¡°Come here.¡± I hold my hands out. She hesitates, but does as told and climbs into my lap. ¡°I understand why you went with it. I know you meant well. I know you wanted to help. You are the first-born Heir to Noxanda.¡± I stroke her head. ¡°Treasure, remember this, please: you are a Child first and the Heir second, ok?¡± ¡°Mh.¡± ¡°Good girl. Don''t worry. Ira will be fine.¡± ¡°Mh.¡± She hides her face into my robes. I notice Emerald stare at me. All three of us messed up miserably this time... I nod to the Saber. She nods back, walks in and lays down in her regular spot - on the last step. I stand in the middle of the cell where Zarri was being hammered in with lightning. It makes me wanna puke... It''d skin the fools alive an inch at a time. I''d keep them alive just to prolong the pain. No matter how pissed off I am, I feel relieved Wykren isn''t here. He would have raised Hell... Devona''s a clever one too. The public will go nuts. This whole ¡°Royal Family¡± thing is fairly new to them, with Zarri growing up it''s even exciting for them. They won''t let it slide... Zarri. I smile at that scrambling image of her, trying to take the blame on herself... Brave little one, isn''t she? She gets that from you, I bet. I walk around the room, circling the glass shards. Five days. So be it. 8. Kindred Spirits The thing is called a Generator. Using the handle here, a person is able to generate lightning. Which, apparently, is called a current. The faster and longer the handle is spun, the stronger the current. It builds up in the chamber here first. Then, to release it, someone must pull the leaver here. The lightning passes through the glass tube and out, striking whatever is placed below it... Zarri. I hammer an axe kick right down into the glass chamber, smashing it to bits. Too bad it wasn''t the brains of one of the morons... The audacity is limitless... I pick up the additional handle, used to extend the reach, so more people can spin it and smash the thing apart with it. Expensive? This junk? How much do they think the life of an Heir is worth!! I pour my rage into each strike. Gods, I wish it was a person!! The lack of blood and screams pisses me off even more¡­ Primerians and their toys. Invented for ¡°curing illness¡± and used for torture on a six-year-old! What a joke... The wood and glass fly to the sides. Tch. The handle broke... I toss the leftover splinter away. That wasn''t enough. I carry out my punishment as ordered - going back and forth between the cell and my old room by the Underground Maze. I used it when training new Shadows and when I needed an escape from the Palace. Well... We used it... Wykren set up his jewelry workshop there when making the seals and the crests. I joined him to make weapons... Everything''s here covered in thick layers of dust and grime now. This gives me a nice distraction from going out there to kill someone. That cell infuriates the Hell out of me... I carry out my punishment as told. I stay in the cell all day and go clean up the room at night. I catch a wink of sleep before dawn. It''s enough. I don''t know if I''ll ever forgive myself for what happened... Day 4. I walk back to my room in the pouring rain. Something catches my eye half way back. It''s dark, but I know the place fine. I stand still and pour my Mana outwards. A hit! Someone''s there! I take my daggers out and approach the corner of the building. No sound. No movement. Thunder strikes, illuminating the sky. Oh SHIT! I sheath my daggers and drop to my knees. ¡°Hey! HEY! YOU ALIVE? HEY!¡± I shake the child. No response. I look for a pulse. A beat. Good. I pick the boy up and carry him back with me. I kick the door in and set the soaked body on a bed. I crack a vial open and pour it down the boy¡¯s throat. He coughs it up. That''s a good sign. I turn his head side-ways. ¡°Can you hear me? Who are you? What were you doing there? What happened? Where are your parents?¡± ¡°Shut...up...¡± The boy hisses. Ha! He''ll live. I leave him be and toss a blanket on him. I spark a few candles here and there and look for a towel and some clothes for him, though mine will be too big for him anyways. I set them down on the chair with some bread and water and a potion, just in case. That''s all I have here. ¡°Where...¡± ¡°You''re safe. I got you out of the rain. You can stay here till it passes. Change into these before you die from pneumonia or something.¡± I point to the towel and the clothes. The kid sits up on the bed and wriggles out of his wet rags. I gather them up and toss them in the wooden barrel for the laundry. ¡°What''s your name?¡± I ask again. ¡°Crile...¡± ¡°Ira. Where are your parents?¡± ¡°Dead.¡± Shit... ¡°What where you doing out there?¡± ¡°Out there where? What is this place?¡± The kid looks around again. I sit down on the other bed. ¡°Do you know what area you''re in?¡± He shakes his head. ¡°This is the training grounds for the Astri Palace. The Underground Maze is close by too.¡± ¡°Ya don''t say...¡± Brat. I smile. ¡°Where you come from?¡± A shrug. ¡°Here and there. Nowhere.¡± ¡°How long you''ve been by yourself?¡± ¡°On and off.¡± Not much of a talker, huh? ¡°How long since your parents, then?¡± ¡°Six years...seven... I was five. We were camping...¡± ¡°What happened? If you remember?¡± I try again. ¡°All I remember is red all over.¡± Crile glares at me. About seven years? Could that have been? Red all over... That can only mean two things: blood or Balli. Or both. ¡°Eat that and sleep. You''re free to leave if you want. If you have no place or anyone to go to - you can stay here as much as you like. There''s not a lot of food here if you''re thinking of stealing. Or anything valuable much for that matter. I''ll try to get something more edible for tomorrow night, the potion there should keep you alive till then. If you can manage to find your own food - go for it. But no stealing it. Or else. There are clean towels in the bathroom and other things you might find useful in the meantime. I gotta get up early tomorrow for work, so I''m packing it in.¡± I tell him, taking my shoes and shirt off. ¡°Do me a favor and kill the lights before you pass out again. Thanks.¡± I slip under the covers. ¡°Night.¡± I turn away and listen. The kid sits there for a moment, maybe three or five, before munching down on the bread. Feint coughs reach me. Take it easy now. I watch his shadow slither around the kitchen. A single light comes back into the room. A second later it dies too. A creak and a slump. A few minutes later his breathing changes. I wait a little longer and get up. Asleep. Crile, huh? Rest well. I come back on the evening of Day 5 of my punishment. I picked up some food from the Palace kitchen on my way back. I find the kid where I left him. He gets off the bed as soon as I close the door. I try not to pay too much attention to him and get dinner started. I spark the stones and get the flame going. Take the pan, some oil and toss the chicken dices in. I take a pot out, pour plenty of oil in and heat it up to a crackling sound. I take the boiled potatoes out and drop them in the oil for a few minutes. Next would be... ¡°Why are you helping me?¡± Crile stands in the doorway. ¡°Nobody ever helped me when I needed it the most. I''m simply doing something for you that I wanted someone to do for me. If you don''t want my help - door''s that way.¡± I point for a moment and get back to making dinner. The sound of a moving chair reaches me from behind. ¡°Were you alone like me?¡± ¡°Not always. I had parents once too. Just. Not for too long.¡± ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Mother died when I was a kid. I don''t even remember her anymore... I don''t even remember how she died or if she died at all... I just know that one day I woke up and she was gone. Father wasn''t the same after that. He blamed me for it.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°You''d need to ask him that. If he was alive still.¡± ¡°He died too?¡± ¡°Not after beating me to a pulp a few good times.¡± I lift my shirt up, tugging on the collar, exposing the back a little. ¡°How cruel...¡± ¡°So is losing the one you loved more than life...¡± ¡°Huh?¡± I put the knife down. ¡°Father loved mother more than anything. When she vanished, he couldn''t handle it. His reason for living was no more and that clouded his mind. We Noxians are of frail hearts. Our feelings and emotions are where we get our powers from, but at the same time it can hurt us and those around us.¡± ¡°So what happened next? Did you..?¡± ¡°Did I kill my old man? No. I ran away. Bounced around from place to place trying my best to survive. I had a hard time trusting people after what happened with my father. I was more like a wild animal than a person... Lost and scared. However. Nobody really put the effort into understanding me at the time either. All I ever heard was what to do and not to do. It pissed me off more than anything.¡± I finish cooking and serve the dinner up. ¡°Why did it piss you off? Thank you for the food.¡± Crile nods. ¡°Cause. If I was able, at the time, to do or not do something I would have done those things without being told to. Sometimes it''s not enough to simply tell someone to do something. It''s like having a blindfold on your eyes with your hands tied behind your back too and saying "I can''t see" and getting a "then take a look" in response. It doesn''t work that way.¡± I take a bite. It''s not like me to talk about these things so much... Is it because he''s just a child that I have my guard down? Or am I tired carrying this inside of me for so long? ¡°What else did you do?¡± ¡°Worked, stole, fought, killed.¡± ¡°Killed?¡± The kid sets his fork down. ¡°Underground Arena. The name Shadowkill comes from there too. A friend of mine suggested I use it as my last name. So I do.¡± ¡°Meaning what?¡± ¡°It was the nickname the people gave me when I was fighting there. It stuck.¡± ¡°So you made it big?¡± ¡°Champion.¡± I catch the look in Crile''s eyes. ¡°Not something I''m proud of. I had to do what I could to survive. That''s all. Got it?¡± The kid nods. ¡°Good.¡± I take few more bites. ¡°Did you ever see your father again?¡± ¡°Once. Right before he died. Killed himself.¡± ¡°Why?¡± I shrug my shoulders. ¡°No clue. I saw him at the workshop I was crashing at back then. He looked beat up and starved. Tried to sell an old axe...¡± I remember how he stared at me... Like he saw a ghost... I put the bite down... Now I remember... He uttered my name and smiled... He was relieved... He... Was looking for me... He... He killed himself because he saw me take care of myself... He... My hand covers my face for me... ¡°Ira?¡± ¡°Eat up.¡± I get up and take a quick breather... The images flash inside my head... That wasn''t father... That was uncle... Mom left to find father and never came back... Uncle lashed out at me for it... Right... If mom had never had me, she wouldn''t have left... He... I wasn''t his... That''s why... I never understood why... Every time I''d call him "dad" he''d... My gut wrings inside my body... Oh Gods... Iraela was mother''s name... Ira is what uncle called mom... I feel the food come back up my throat... I cover my mouth and stand there, holding my breath. I understand now... I twisted the reality to make it easier for me to survive. If I had clung to that hope that mom and dad will come back and save me, I never would have left... But then why? Why did uncle look for me? Why did he kill himself when he did? Did he realize what he did when I left? Did he suffer because of it? Did death set him free? Or was it that he saw me alive and well? What about my parents then? I look up into the night''s sky... My hand slides down my face and swings next to my body... All I could to survive, huh? I return back to the kitchen. The kid has finished his plate and cleared it already. I cover my dinner with a lid and let it be for now. I find the boy in the bed. I go wash up and kill the candles around the place, leaving one on. ¡°I thought you were asleep already.¡± I set the candle down on the nightstand at the head of my bed. ¡°Is it difficult? To use the shadows?¡± ¡°No. The shadows themselves are not a problem. It''s the going under that you need to be aware of. People go mad from the Shadow Realm.¡± ¡°Why?¡± I sit down on my bed. ¡°To be able to enter the Shadow Realm you need to be able to let go of everything. The Shadow Realm is empty. There is no air, light, feel, scent - nothing. You''re not even able to sense your own being. It''s pure darkness. The only way you can move and survive in it, is if you see everything in here.¡± I reach out and tap the boy¡¯s forehead. ¡°If you want to breath imagine air. If you want to see imagine light. If you want to move - imagine the place where you want to go. There is nothing in there. Just you. You need to be able to trust yourself and rely only on yourself. Shadow Realm is not the forgiving type. Weak do not survive there. A single mistake is your last.¡± ¡°If it''s so unforgiving, then how do you manage?¡± He''s bright. I smile briefly. ¡°Simple. For the longest time I have been living in the darkness, so to speak. Relying only on myself. Starving. Dirty. Freezing. Dying. Afraid. Lonely. I had to learn to stop trusting that someone or something will come and save me. I had to keep saving myself. I accepted all of the so-called ¡°negative¡± things that people are scared of and realized something.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°It''s not as bad as people think.¡± ¡°I find it hard to believe.¡± Crile rolls his eyes at me. I chuckle. ¡°I didn''t say I enjoyed being all that, now did I? Here''s the thing. When you draw power from another you become vulnerable.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Stolen novel; please report. ¡°Once the person dies - so does your strength.¡± The look in his eye changes. ¡°If you rely only on yourself...¡± ¡°Then you control the power fully.¡± ¡°More or less.¡± ¡°More or less? ¡°True power comes from within you, that''s true. But its strength depends on if you have someone dear you wish to protect." ¡°Like who?¡± I shrug my shoulders. ¡°Anyone important enough you''d give your life for without thinking twice about it. That or you have to be dead set on surviving." Crile takes his time. ¡°Then do you have someone like that? And you''d better not tell me it''s the land or the people. You ain''t the type to care for that.¡± I burst into a roar. The nerve... I can''t even get mad... ¡°A couple of people.¡± I answer through the laughter. ¡°And in case you''re wondering - you''re one of them now too.¡± I reach out and ruff his hair up. ¡°Me? Why?¡± He smacks my hand away. ¡°You''re my responsibility from the moment you stepped inside here. You stayed, so, that makes it official for me. No, it won''t change anything if you leave here now.¡± I tell him. ¡°I decided to take care of you and I will. It means protecting you from harm too.¡± He turns away from me and murmurs something, blushing. ¡°Anything else you''re interested?¡± I add. ¡°Why did you join the Underground Arena?" Crile''s eyes glare at me intensely. I sigh. Heavily. ¡°Easy money. Well. Kind of. I had to fend for myself, so fighting came naturally to me. I stumbled upon it by chance and got lucky. So I stuck around.¡± ¡°You make it sound so easy, champ.¡± He mocks me. ¡°It was easy. For me.¡± I keep my eyes to the floor. ¡°I was dead inside and hurting others was as easy as taking in a breath. As long as I didn''t hurt, starve or freeze anymore...¡± ¡°What changed?¡± I lift my head back up from the question. ¡°I got numb. Not feeling anything inside is one thing, but when you stop feeling with your body too - time for change. So I quit.¡± ¡°Can I ask?¡± The kid hesitates. I smile. ¡°You already are.¡± He throws me a quick look of his own. ¡°What''s it like? The arena? The fights...¡± I take a moment now. ¡°Bloody.¡± His eyes widen. ¡°You don''t really have to kill your opponent, it''s enough to maim them. If they can''t fight - you win. There is only one rule - no rules. Anything and everything goes. You can give up if you like, they usually stop the fight if that happens...¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°But that rarely ever happens.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°When you have people betting on you it won''t really matter if you leave the ring alive after giving up - they won''t let you get anywhere far.¡± ¡°Here''s what I don''t get. None of this sound like Noxians...¡± The kid''s right. ¡°The thing is - life is cruel sometimes. Not everyone is fortunate enough to live happily forever after. Sometimes people like me - sometimes all we have is death. Killing is our only skill and there''s only so much you can do with that. Anger. Pain. Despair. Love. All of those get mixed up and you become a raging beast. With no outlet - you end up self-destructing. Those fights are a way for Noxians who lost their way to continue living.¡± ¡°You call death matches ¡°living?¡± ¡°I did.¡± I keep my eyes locked with his. Crile''s expression changes a little again. He''s thinking... ¡°Then, what is living to you now?¡± ¡°You sure know how to ask the difficult stuff, huh?¡± I twitch my shoulders again. ¡°Do you know what irony is?¡± The boy shakes his head. How to explain it... ¡°It''s like when life gives you something that you wanted for so long, but then decided to throw it away, and once you did - life throws it back at you. Just when you thought you let go of it...¡± He thinks it over. ¡°I had decided that I would be the one to save me, and I did. Then one day someone came along and saved me from myself when I didn''t even know I needed saving.¡± ¡°Who''s that?¡± ¡°A very dear friend of mine. My best friend.¡± My only friend¡­ ¡°That''s cool, right?¡± Crile hesitates. ¡°He died. I failed to return the favor and save him from himself...¡± ¡°Oh... Sorry...¡± ¡°Not as much as I am.¡± I clench my fists together. ¡°Living to me now is looking after the Treasure he left behind.¡± ¡°Treasure?¡± ¡°A child. I live to protect his child now.¡± ¡°Sooo you''re telling me your job is to babysit a brat?¡± Crile stares at me confused. I burst into another wave and grab his neck, ruffing his hair up again. ¡°Look who''s talking.¡± ¡°Let go, old man! Let go!¡± I let go. He fixes himself up. ¡°Satisfied?¡± ¡°No.¡± He pouts. ¡°Have any tips on how to survive the arena long enough to become the Champion?¡± ¡°Yes. Stay away.¡± I glare at Crile. ¡°What about fighting then?¡± ¡°What about it?¡± I keep the glare on. He shrugs his shoulders. ¡°I don''t know, like weapons? Skills? Something?¡± ¡°Anything can be a weapon if you want it to be. A feather, a splinter, a rope, a belt.¡± ¡°A feather?¡± ¡°Apply enough force and you can pop an eyeball easy.¡± Crile gulps air. ¡°What about a belt?¡± ¡°It can turn your fingers into dust. You wanted advice, right?¡± He nods. I take my belt out and wrap it around my hand. ¡°Here. If you clip the buckle on your knuckles it''ll make for a nasty punch. Depending on the buckle - it may not be the comfiest option to work with. So.¡± I redo the wrap. ¡°Wrapping the belt around and holding onto the cross;¡± I flip the palm upwards; ¡°will make it easier for you and still be enough to get some damage in. Or.¡± I wrap the belt from the wrist down. ¡°It can make a turn into a guard for you, makes good for when dealing with faster or stronger opponents. If you use it as a whip, make sure to strike with the buckle.¡± ¡°Is that how you got your fingers crushed?¡± ¡°You catch on quick. That''s a good sign. Yes. Last option - suffocation or neck breaking.¡± ¡°With enough force, you mean?¡± ¡°Exactly. I think that''ll do for the night.¡± I put the belt down and kill the candle. Crile follows my lead and squirms under the blankets too, in his bed. The moonlight hits the room nicely. The color of it resembles her, or rather them¡­ ¡°Hey.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Can you... teach me?¡± ¡°Teach what?¡± ¡°How to fight?¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I don''t want to be weak... It hurts...¡± I stare into the creeping clouds. ¡°If that''s what you want. Just don''t expect me to go easy on you.¡± ¡°I don''t.¡± I hear some rustling. ¡°Night.¡± ¡°Night.¡± ¡°And thanks...¡± A whisper. Such a brat. I smile. Images flash inside my mind. I can''t breathe. I hear voices. I feel... Pain... I snap awake and pant. I cover my face. Wet. Sweat. I try to calm down. Can it be that last night¡¯s walk down the memory lane has stirred me up more than I figured? I get my breathing back to normal and notice Crile in the doorway. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Are you...¡± ¡°Peachy.¡± I drop my legs to the floor. It''s bright. ¡°What time is it?¡± ¡°Past noon. Why?¡± ¡°Damn it. I''m late! Why didn''t you wake me?¡± I quickly get dressed. ¡°I tried.¡± Crile steps away from me as I approach the doorway. I reach out and he steps back again. I hold my hand up in defense. ¡°Let me see.¡± I turn his chin up and to the right. Marks. Those weren''t there before. ¡°Did I?¡± He nods. ¡°My bad. Sorry. I''ll get the other room ready for you when I get back tonight. Do what you want in the meantime.¡± I put my shoes on and run out. What is this strange feeling? Has it always been there? I don''t believe that it was only because of last night that those memories came back. I''ve been repressing them all my life. A single chat shouldn''t have been able to unlock them... Then what? Her? Is it because of her then? Of course... I know this feeling... I know what it is... My body remembers for me. The warm embrace of mom, when she held me. I felt the same way when I held Zarri... She''s the reason why... I feel a sudden urge to hold her again¡­ Now I understand... The rage. The pleasure. The satisfaction of smashing something... It was because of the pain that someone precious to me got hurt... The disappointment that it wasn''t a live human... That''s why uncle kept smacking me around... I wasn''t the target... I was just there... He needed to vent his anger, his sadness, his weakness... I was simply there... That''s all... It was never about me... I find a crowd gathered by Zarri''s room. They open a gap for me. I walk inside and freeze. Emerald. Devona and a kitten? Sit in the middle of the room... The kitten sees me, jumps off Devona and runs over to me. It paws at me, meowing... ¡°Zarri?¡± I mutter silently. The kitten meows louder. I look back at Devona. She smiles. ¡°We found her this way.¡± ¡°Uh-huh..." I look down again. Those eyes... "BLAIN!! GET OVER TO THE HEIR''S ROOM NOW!!¡± ¡°GEEZ YOU''RE LOUD!! Almost blew my mind out. What is it?¡± ¡°Get. Over. Here. Now.¡± I repeat. ¡°... Coming.¡± I turn around to the spectators. ¡°Scatter.¡± They bow lightly and disperse. I close the door behind them. ¡°How long she''s been this way?¡± ¡°No clue. Probably shifted sometimes during the night.¡± ¡°She won''t shift back?¡± ¡°It appears she''s not aware how to.¡± Devona comforts the confused kitten. I sit down next to them. The fur is two shades darker than Zarri''s hair, but the eyes are the same. I reach out. She nudges the hand and licks the fingertips. She stares at me with a clear question mark in her eyes. ¡°Don''t worry, Blain''s coming over here now. You''ll be fine.¡± The door opens. ¡°What''s the fuss... Oh.¡± Blain closes the door again. ¡°Well now, what a pretty kitty we have here. Hello.¡± He sits down next to me. Zarri comes over and sits down in front of him. ¡°Well?¡± I urge. ¡°Where do we start?¡± ¡°The blanket.¡± He points to the bed. ¡°Everything that''s not Druid Gear rips apart each shift.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Devona gets the blanket and wraps the kitten in it. ¡°Can you hear me alright?¡± Blain asks. Zarri meows. Cute. ¡°Good. Now then, close your eyes and listen to my voice only, can you do that?¡± Another meow. ¡°Good girl. Now. Imagine yourself, as if standing in front of a mirror. Recreate the image of you inside your mind. Take your time." Blain looks to us "This might take a bit. How long she''s been this way?¡± ¡°No clue.¡± ¡°Ah. Any idea how''s her Mana?¡± ¡°She was quite energetic when I got here, so I''d say fine.¡± Devona answers. ¡°Good. Then perhaps we''ll manage.¡± Blain looks back at Zarri. ¡°Do you have the image?¡± She nods. ¡°Good. Now, I need you to imagine the cat. I need you to see the shape of the cat inside your mind. It''s ok if it''s a dark figure only. Just make sure the image is solid.¡± Zarri shuts her eyes harder. I notice a light smile on Devona''s face. Blain continues. ¡°Do you have it?¡± Zarri nods again. ¡°Perfect. Now''s the hard part. You need to transfer your Spirit from the cat back to your body. Imagine as if you''re standing in front of the same mirror, but the reflection in it is the cat now. You need to step inside the mirror to change back. Think of it as a doorway between your Spirit and the cat''s.¡± Zarri opens her eyes suddenly. ¡°Don''t worry if it takes a few tries. It''s ok. Try.¡± She closes her eyes again, really shuts them closed. ¡°Now - we wait. I can''t do anything more. It''s up to her.¡± Blain whispers. ¡°So no pressure. Great.¡± I roll my eye at him. ¡°Oh.¡± Devona gasps. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Ha! Look at that. She''s doing it!¡± Blain smiles. The fur slowly retracts. The tail. The ears. The whiskers... Well now... The paws turn back into hands and she loses the fangs. Zarri opens her eyes to us. ¡°I did it! I came back! That was scary... I thought I''d stay like that... For... Ever...¡± She sways to the side and passes out. I catch her and fix her blanket for her. ¡°Her instincts are strong.¡± Blain says getting up. ¡°How can you tell?¡± Devona comes with me to put Zarri back in bed. ¡°She just went through a shift for the first time, well, second, but shifting in dreams comes naturally. The waken shift is difficult. She managed to speak a full sentence before passing out. My guess - she burned through her entire Mana just now, she should have been passed out before she even finished the shift, yet she managed to speak for a moment. That''s a sign she''s above average already.¡± Blain explains. ¡°Really? But she''s so young.¡± Devona strokes the sleeping Zarri. ¡°Exactly. No Beast has merged with a Spirit at such an early age." Blain states. "She seemed to have been in control, so the Spirit must''ve been weak enough. I think, what happened here, is that she bonded with the Spirit of a Cub. Poor thing. That''s why she was able to change back rather easily. If she had merged with a full-grown-adult Spirit, the animal Spirit would have taken over her consciousness, it would have been like weighing you;¡± Blain points to me; ¡°against her. The stronger one wins. If that had happen ¨C this room would be in shambles. Animals age differently. A one-year-old lion cub is older than a one-year-old person. That''s why Beasts don''t merge with their Spirits till later in life." Blain looks the three of us over and continues. ¡°This is to her advantage. Both, she and the Spirit will grow and learn together. You''d be surprised to know how many Beasts struggle with their powers.¡± ¡°How so?¡± I''m curious now. ¡°Beast types merge with animal Spirits. When the person tries to use logic and reason too much it gets in the way of instinct. Instinct is crucial for a living creature. The more the Druid gives into instinct, the better they are. Of course, total surrender is risky too.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Devona beats me to it. ¡°The Druid risks forgetting their true identity. It has happened before. The animal takes over and the Spirit of the Druid is lost. In a way they die.¡± Blain notices the concerned look on the mother. ¡°Of course, there is a plus side to it all too.¡± ¡°Like?¡± I join in. ¡°A person''s mind inside the body of an animal open new opportunities. Creativity and such.¡± Blain smiles. ¡°Oh. There it is.¡± Devona picks up Emerald''s Stone. ¡°The chain broke.¡± ¡°That''s easy to fix.¡± Blain offers his palm. ¡°I''ll have it replaced with something more shift-friendly.¡± ¡°Thank you, that would help. We should get her fitted for some gear and clothes. If her instincts are as good as you claim, then she might be shifting in and out without realizing it. She''ll rip everything apart at this rate...¡± Devona makes a good point. ¡°I''ll go see what I can find for you to use for references for her gear.¡± ¡°Appreciate the trouble, Priestess.¡± Blain nods. She waves him off and goes into the other room. ¡°You still use the damn thing?¡± I point to the leg. ¡°I learned how to make them and I can get parts fairly easy. I just... Can''t bring myself to not use it.¡± Blain says. ¡°Besides. Beats walking with a cane.¡± He chuckles clumsily. I smile. ¡°Guess so.¡± I wait a moment. ¡°I''m glad she''s a Beast.¡± ¡°Oh? Why?¡± ¡°It puts my mind at ease, knowing that the two of you;¡± I nod to Emerald, she whips her tail; ¡°will be able to look over her training.¡± ¡°Well, I''m honored, but, why do I catch a hint of distance there?¡± I don''t answer. ¡°This isn''t about what happened, is it?¡± Blain stares at me. He sighs. ¡°Ira. What happened with the four stooges is not your fault. Anyone can go mad after a taste of power. They let it get to their heads. You''re not responsible for what the weak-minded do.¡± ¡°Yet I can''t help, but feel responsible.¡± ¡°Idiot.¡± Blain mumbles. ¡°Bite me.¡± I answer. 9. The Boys and the Girls ¡°Listen up. Before you can use the shadow¡¯s you''re gonna have to learn a small trick first.¡± The kid doesn''t say anything. He just stares at me - dead focused. Ok then. ¡°Close your eyes and imagine your body. Imagine your blood circulating inside you. Red for blood. Remember that.¡± Crile nods. ¡°Now imagine a pool of blue in the middle of your body. That''s your Mana. The trick is to set your Mana free. Let it flow inside your body like Blood.¡± He snaps his eyes open. I swipe my palm over them. ¡°Keep ''em shut and listen.¡± I wait a moment. His face relaxes a bit. ¡°You need to learn to control your Mana inside your body first. To force it move around you. From here.¡± I point to his stomach. ¡°To here.¡± I touch the arm. ¡°To there.¡± I tap his foot. ¡°Got it?¡± He looks at me. ¡°Sure. Why though?¡± ¡°Two reasons. One. This way you can enhance your physical abilities. Your punches will be stronger, your legs will be faster. Your defense will be harder.¡± I pick his arms up and hold them by his face, the usual guard mode. ¡°And two?¡± ¡°Once you are able to command your Mana inside your body, it will be easier to force it out of you to use the shadows.¡± ¡°Wait, what? Force it out of me?¡± ¡°Shadows don''t have a physical form. This ain''t Mage Manipulation where you grab hold of the energy. This is something you need to force your way through.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Crile looks a bit sad. ¡°Have you ever done any Magic training before?¡± A headshake. Oh boy. ¡°Ok then. We''ll start at the basics. Build your body first.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°The stronger the body, the stronger the Magic. Using the shadows takes a lot out of a person. It won''t mean much for you to use them if you pass out inside the Realm.¡± He stares at me again. I sigh. ¡°Give me your hand. I''ll be easier to show you.¡± He gives me the hand. I pull my own shadow at my feet and slowly let Crile''s feet sink into the darkness. ¡°It''s cold?¡± He says. ¡°Yes. Because you''re barely touching it. If you went under now, it''d be the same as diving into a freezing lake.¡± His face loses color. I stop and let go. ¡°The Shadow Realm sucks the life out of you.¡± ¡°Then...¡± ¡°How do I manage you mean? You get used to it. Plus. The faster you go in and out the better. And. Here''s your third reason for learning Mana Control - if you can fuse a part of it with your blood - it will keep you protected within the Realm.¡± ¡°Could have started with that one.¡± Crile pouts. I laugh a little. ¡°Start small and smart. Once you have the basics down - then we''ll talk more.¡± ¡°Do you use it?¡± ¡°Use what?¡± ¡°Mana Control? For your body?¡± ¡°When in a fight. Sometimes. It''s exhausting to use it all the time. Mana isn''t endless. The more you use it - the more it drains you. If you''re gonna use the shadows - don''t use the Control. If you wanna use Control - don''t go under. Shadows require delicate control. Mess it up and you''re dead.¡± I see the look on the boy¡¯s face. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°How do I...¡± ¡°If you can''t finish the question - don''t ask it in the first place.¡± ¡°How do I learn to control my Mana in a ¡°delicate¡± way?¡± ¡°You don''t. That''s why you learn to bounce it around from your eyeball to your fingertip. Precision. Fast and accurate. For now - that''s all you need to focus on.¡± ¡°Ok. Have you ever taught this to someone else?¡± What the? ¡°Why you ask?¡± A shrug. I sigh. ¡°Once.¡± ¡°And?¡± ¡°They nailed it.¡± Crile pouts again. I smile. ¡°Exercise as much as you can without stopping. Don''t pace yourself. Push through as much as you can and rest. As long as you need to. Then repeat. Feel free to clean up here too if you see me slack off.¡± I start getting comfy in my bed. ¡°Like you ever slack off...¡± He mumbles. ¡°I may or may not not come back on occasion. So keep that in mind. I''ll let you know if I''ll be gone longer than 3-5days. Should it happen. If I''m gone longer - go to the Palace and ask for Blain. Explain to him who and what you are. He''ll think of something. I think.¡± ¡°Why does this sound like you''re dying?¡± I laugh a bit again. ¡°Being prepared ain''t a bad thing. Did ya get all that?¡± ¡°All that what?¡± Oh boy. ¡°Assassins need an above average memory to be able to travel within the shadows. Remember?¡± ¡°I need to see the place I''m going to in here?¡± Crile points to his forehead. ¡°Yes. To do that you need to memorize places. Like this entire layout, for instance. Attention for detail is crucial. You need to be able to remember things when seeing or hearing them half a second only. So.¡± ¡°So if I can''t repeat what you just told me, then I need to improve my memory?¡± ¡°Like I said - you catch on quick.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°So?¡± ¡°Oh. Right. Ah... You might be gone sometimes. You''ll let me know. If you don''t come back in a week, I should find Blain? In the Palace and tell him that you sent me?¡± ¡°Your summary skills are great. Not a bad trait to have. But if I had asked you to describe the kitchen for me you would have failed. Wanna tell me why?¡± ¡°Because I would have missed the small details and would have said that there''s a table, chairs, a sink. Something like that?¡± ¡°Good call.¡± I look at Crile. ¡°Anyways. You''re getting ahead of yourself. First you need Mana Control. Of course, you can develop your memory at the same time too.¡± ¡°I gathered...¡± I detect a hint of resentment there. ¡°Anything else?¡± ¡°No. Night.¡± ¡°Night.¡± ¡°How is she?¡± ¡°For the love of... You startled the life outta me...¡± Devona pouts. I don''t answer. ¡°She''s fine. Blain has instructed her to work on her Mana before they can jump in with the real training. I''m helping her with her Meditation. She''s the type to learn by doing. She needs to feel it to really understand it.¡± Meditation! I knew I forgot something... Devona giggles to herself a bit. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°This sitting-still-to-focus thing is driving her crazy. She needs to learn how to restore her Mana quickly for her to practice shifting, otherwise she''d just spend days a sleep in one form or the other. She knows that, but she just can''t... It''s so boring to her. She pouts the entire time and we only do it for ten minutes three times a day. Just to get her started with it, you know? I figured if we can do it before she goes to bed, maybe she''d get the hang of it in her sleep? But it''s a slow process with her...¡± ¡°Least she''s devoted to it.¡± ¡°That she is.¡± Devona smiles, looking out the window. Zarri has started her physical training too. Apparently shifting is hard on the body, so she needs to get stronger and increase her stamina. She looks so determined. ¡°Ira?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Did I miss something? Somehow I get the feeling I don''t need to answer that. I just slip away into the shadows again. ¡°Zarri? What are those?¡± ¡°What is what?¡± She hides her arms from me. Her face looks a bit puffy too? She didn''t have training today? ¡°Treasure. Look at me, please.¡± My daughter hesitates. ¡°Did something happen?¡± ¡°No!¡± Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. I sigh. ¡°Why do I get the feeling you are lying to me?¡± She flinches. ¡°Zarri...¡± She looks at me. ¡°I... I...¡± ¡°I won''t get mad, so please tell me.¡± I smile at her as I sit down and wait her to come to me. She keeps her distance, but sits down too. I wait. ¡°I fought somebody today!¡± She blurs the whole thing out, with eyes shut tight. It takes me a minute to register... ¡°Fought who?¡± ¡°Some bad boys... They were picking on this girl and I...¡± ¡°Treasure, where was this? Why didn''t you tell me?¡± ¡°It... It wasn''t in the Palace...¡± HUH! ¡°I... went outside...¡± She says and I jump up. ¡°ALONE! BY YOURSELF!¡± A single nod. ¡°WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! YOU COULD''VE GOTTEN HURT! OR WORSE!¡± I crash back on my knees. ¡°Zarri!!!¡± ¡°I''M SORRY! I''M SORRY! I SHIFTED AND I WANTED TO PLAY AND I... Then I heard the voices and I followed them and... I scratched them... And they left but... I was tired... I feel asleep. When I woke up my face was puffy and... I''M SORRY!¡± She falls over into my lap... ¡°Treasure...¡± I can''t even get mad anymore... I stroke her back... ¡°Well? Who was this girl? Is she ok now?¡± ¡°Mh. She waited for me to wake up.¡± ¡°My, what a nice child. She have a name?¡± ¡°Mh. Ammi. Well. Amana, but I like Ammi.¡± Ama...na? I heard that name before? ¡°Know what? She also has horns! She looks like a stuck Druid with them! Though her face is a bit different from ours...¡± Horns? OH! AMANA! Wait. ¡°A "stuck Druid"? I look at my silly child again. ¡°Do you mean the Half-form?¡± ¡°Yeah! Yeah! That!¡± I giggle. ¡°I see. Well, I hope you two can be good friends from now on.¡± I''ll ask someone to get Sharden and Ella here, it be great if Zarri could have a friend. ¡°Mh! I''d like that!¡± She nods. I place my hand on the side of her smiling face and cast a few quick spells. The light blue shimmer shines through my fingers. She''s so easy to entertain. Her eyes reflect the shine and her amazement. ¡°There. That should help. Time for bed now, ok?¡± ¡°''kaay!¡± She quickly rummages onto the bed. I throw Emerald a quick glare. How dare you... I climb into bed, next to my child. ¡°So, which story is it tonight?¡± I missed out on story time for a few years, she''s probably old enough to fall asleep without it, but... ¡°The Falling Star one!¡± ¡°Alright.¡± We cuddle up and I tell her the same story again. I speak slow and quiet. Zarri drifts away half way through it. I unclasp the chain and carefully slip the Stone off her. ¡°Wanna tell me what in the world possessed you to let her out alone?¡± ¡°She''s a bird in a cage. All she wants is a bit of freedom. If I had tagged along with her, everyone would have treated her like she''s made of glass. I stand out too much, in case you missed it.¡± Emerald whips her tail to me. ¡°She could have gotten hurt!!¡± ¡°She has her cat skin. She can run away if anything.¡± ¡°That''s NOT WHAT YOU PROMISED ME!¡± I clench the Stone. Emerald''s silhouette jumps up silently in the dim light. ¡°I PROMISED TO KEEP HER ALIVE AND THAT''S WHAT I SHALL DO! ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS CALL FOR ME! I''LL BE THERE IN A HEART BEAT!¡± She roars inside my mind. Such power... Her stance tells me she''s ready to kill. Her glare burns through the bed screen and my soul... ¡°Ma..Make sure that you do, then! Or else.¡± She lays back down. I put the Stone back on Zarri and hold her to me... I''m too afraid to lose you, my Treasure... ¡°Here. This is how you do it.¡± I take the weapon from the kid. ¡°Under and in.¡± I slip my hand into the hole and flip it, crossing the rope on the wrist. ¡°That''s the fastest way. Safest too. You have more control whether to loosen or tighten it.¡± I slip the rope around a bit. ¡°So you can either extend your reach;¡± I point to the other end of the stick where the other noose is; ¡°Or slip away easily if caught. Without getting your arm ripped off. Go it?¡± ¡°How do you know this is the fastest way? Maybe I can do it better? ¡°He wants to believe me, but fights against it. Dumb teenage pride¡­ I sigh. ¡°The things I show you are a product of my long training alone. This - is what I came with as the way that gives best results. For you it''s more of a baseline. Your starting point. You''re welcome to try anything else you feel like. If you can manage to find a better, faster way to get the job done - be my guest. Till that happens - you use my methods. Deal?¡± ¡°Deal.¡± ¡°Any other questions?¡± ¡°Why would I ever want to fight with this hand trap?¡± He twirls the double-ended catcher. The stick is hollow inside, so it breaks rather easily. There''s a rope running through it, with a noose at each end. ¡°Technically you wouldn''t use this in a fight against people. Normally it''s used to catch and tame beasts.¡± ¡°Druids?¡± ¡°Those too.¡± I nod. ¡°You use one end to catch the beast and you pull on the other end to secure it. "If the Druid shifts back, that kinda makes it pointless?" "Not if you pull fast. But if they change from human to beast then - let go." The kid nods. I continue. "Now. Because you''re small. For now.¡± I add quickly to the sparkling glare. ¡°This is a good weapon for you to have on hand, if you can master it. It gives you an advantage when fighting bigger, taller opponents. Plus.¡± I pull on the middle of the stick - it collapses into five equal parts. ¡°Wow. I didn''t know it did that.¡± ¡°As I was saying - it gives you a longer reach and it lets you to keep your distance.¡± ¡°Offense and defense in one.¡± The kid nods. ¡°Exactly. Another thing.¡± ¡°What?¡± Crile looks up at me. ¡°The more versatile you are in your skill set - the better chances you have in surviving.¡± The look changes in his eyes. ¡°How will I know I''m good enough with it?¡± ¡°When you''ll be able to do this.¡± I quickly spin the stick, letting the pieces fall back into place, hook a tree branch and pull. It snaps and falls to me. I catch it with the other hand. ¡°Let me know if you have questions.¡± I give the Catcher back to the kid. ¡°Once you get this down you can practice knife throwing in the woods behind the training grounds. Somebody there might give you tips and tricks too.¡± ¡°''kay.¡± I stop by Zarri''s room at the end of the day. ¡°Well now.¡± I find her and a Cornutese girl sitting in the middle of the pillow pond, right in the center of the room. Ever since Emerald started staying in her room, she has been adding more and more pillows there. ¡°Ira!¡± Zarri runs over to me. ¡°Hey.¡± I pat her head. ¡°Who''s your friend?¡± The girl stands up and curtsies for me. Cute. ¡°Amana Starlight, sir.¡± Amana? ¡°You''ve grown into a pretty little lady, Amana.¡± She stares at me. ¡°I know your parents.¡± I smile. Starlight? That''s not very Cornutese-like... Anyways. ¡°Well. Since you seem to have company, I''ll get going.¡± ¡°Nooooo!¡± Zarri tugs on my arm. ¡°Play with us!!¡± Emerald lets out a growl. Hmm. I look at Amana. ¡°What were you doing just now?¡± ¡°Practicing Meditation, sir.¡± ¡°Ira. Just Ira. It''s ok.¡± The girl nods shyly. ¡°Playing, were you?¡± Zarri looks away from me. ¡°We can now?¡± ¡°Don''t play stupid. You wanna be a Beast, don''t you?¡± ¡°Ye''...¡± ¡°Then keep practicing. Or Blain will get tired of waiting.¡± ¡°But I''m better at it! I can shift and stay awake now!¡± ¡°How long does that last again?¡± Zarri blushes and murmurs. ¡°What was that?¡± ¡°A bit more than an hour...¡± She mumbles. ¡°Riiight. Yeah, tell ya what.¡± I crouch by her. ¡°You kick it up to three hours and then we''ll get you a present for your hard work.¡± ¡°I don''t want a present!¡± ¡°Even if it will be me playing with you?¡± ¡°I''ll do my best!¡± She bows to me. I can''t with her. I pat her hair a little. ¡°Alright. It''s nice to meet you again, Amana. Thanks for being friends with Zarri.¡± I get up. ¡°I''ll see ya.¡± The girl nods to me and I leave. ¡°Byeeee!¡± Zarri waves to me in the doorway. Amana has become a part-timer at the Palace. She refused to live here, but she does spend most of her time here, playing and studying together with Zarri. It''s been difficult for Zarri to make friends, since nobody at the Palace feels free enough around her to let their kids play with her. Ever. Guess that''s the drawback of having everyone working for you... With someone like Amana around she feels more at ease since they both are different. I''m happy to see Zarri enjoy herself. We made a deal with Sharden and Ella - if they let Amana be friends with Zarri, we''ll proved her with education and training free of charge. Devona was too overwhelmed to see her little girl so happy. I didn''t object it. Who knows. Perhaps one day Amana could help bridge a better friendship between Noxanda and Cornutora. Least I''d like to hope for it... She¡¯s also been a good influence on Zarri. She¡¯s been more focused on her boring studies. As a result of that, she¡¯s able to shift a few times in a row. Her natural instincts are exciting and terrifying¡­ ¡°Another long day?¡± Crile asks me as I close the door. ¡°What gave me away?¡± ¡°Your stance. You''re ready to keel over.¡± He serves me a bowl. I try a bite. ¡°It''s good. You improved.¡± I ruff his hair a little. ¡°Knock it off!¡± He waves my hand off with the ladle. ¡°You know I hate that...¡± ¡°Then why are you blushing?¡± ¡°I am NOT!¡± He snaps at my back. I giggle silently and sit down. The kid joins me at the table. We sip the soup in silence. ¡°Something happen today?¡± ¡°Why?¡± He quickly snaps out of it. ¡°You''re face gives you away. You may be sitting here, having dinner, but your mind is elsewhere. You''re remembering something. Something nice, by the likes of things.¡± ¡°Hate it when you do that.¡± He mumbles. ¡°So?¡± Crile hesitates. ¡°I made some friends...¡± I stop mid bite and lower the spoon back into the bowl. ¡°How did that happen?¡± ¡°What does that supposed to mean!¡± Ah damn. ¡°Where and how you meet them. Spike down, already.¡± ¡°I was in the woods practicing and we met there.¡± ¡°The woods ain¡¯t exactly a playground for kids?¡± He gives me a stupid shrug. He''s hiding something. ¡°Listen, if there''s something you don''t wanna tell me - don''t. It''s fine. Just make sure it doesn''t bite you on the ass later.¡± A nod. ¡°So? Who are your new friends?¡± ¡°Two girls.¡± He mumbles. I wait. ¡°Is that all I''m getting?¡± Another nod. ¡°You did ask them their names, at least? Didn''t you?¡± ¡°Of course, I did! I ain¡¯t stupid! I¡¯m just not telling you now!!¡± He grabs his bowl, gulps it down and gets up to wash it. The brat¡­ ¡°Thanks for dinner.¡± He mutters. You made it, dummy... ¡°Treat ''em well. Lucky bastard.¡± I ruff his hair up again, setting my bowl into the sink. ¡°Thank you for dinner.¡± 10. The Promise and the Wish ¡°Again.¡± Crile gets up and charges in. His form has gotten batter, but his technique needs work. No wonder. I had him train with weapons only for an entire year. He''s not sparring against a tree anymore... It''s too easy for me. I kick his leg up and he flops back on his side. ¡°OUCH! THAT...¡± He bites his lip and rubs his elbow. Uuh, he landed right on it. Maybe it cracked? He''d be screaming if that were the case. Crile clenches his teeth harder. ¡°Cry.¡± ¡°Don''t call me that!¡± Huh? Call him what? Oh. Cri-le. Cri. I sigh. ¡°That''s not...¡± I scratch my head. ¡°It''s ok.¡± Crile stands up. ¡°What is?¡± ¡°It''s ok to cry when you''re in pain. There''s nothing wrong with it. It won''t make you any less of a man or a person.¡± ¡°Tch! I''m not a baby! I''m fine!¡± ¡°Listen. Pain is pain. If you feel it - you''re alive. So that''s good. But it doesn''t mean that it doesn''t hurt. Cause it does. Physical and emotional pain are equal. When it hurts - it hurts like Hell. So I''m telling you - as a person, and a man - it''s ok to cry.¡± ¡°Enough! I don''t need that! Let''s go!¡± He drops into a stance again. I sigh again. Fine. We go a few more rounds. With me scoring each point. Fine. If that''s how you want it. I''ll force it out of you. I don''t like beating up kids, but he asked for it. Stubborn ass. Crile drops to the ground again. He''s though, I''ll give him that. I wasn''t even going easy on him... ¡°Again.¡± ¡°Why. I haven''t scored a single point. You enjoy beating me up so much?¡± ¡°Idiot. You''re close to making contact. It¡¯d be a better end to your day with a hit, don''t you think?¡± He glares at me. ¡°So quit pouting and get up.¡± The kid stands up, wobbling to the sides. ¡°Bring it!¡± He charges me. Straight. Straight. Cross. Jab. The tip of his dagger grazes me. He spins around, goes in with a kick, I take a step back, enough to get out of range. He throws his dagger at me. I kick it to the side. He stumbles, but gets up still and charges in again, almost on all fours. He tackles my legs. Shoot. I didn''t... I land on my back and feel the metal on my throat. I look to the side ¨C the knife is over there still¡­ He threw his first dagger before he kicked. After that he just had to knock me over next to it. I missed it. I grin. ¡°Point. Crile. Good job. Why the lousy look?¡± He gets up. ¡°It takes me everything I have just to knock you down on your ass, yet to you this is nothing more than child''s play. It pisses me off.¡± I sit there for a moment longer. ¡°Pardon me if I can''t shrink down in size.¡± Crile glares at me again. ¡°If it makes you feel any better, it has been a while since someone knocked me down like that.¡± I get up. His look softens just a tad. Good enough. ¡°Good work today. You can rest tomorrow.¡± ¡°It''s only been a year since she started her full-time Druid training¡­She¡¯s coming along nicely.¡± Zarri is able to shift in a single eyeblink¡­ ¡°That''s exactly what worries me.¡± I tell him. ¡°She''s not even nine years old yet¡­¡± And she''s already that skilled. ¡°You''re worried how good she''ll get.¡± ¡°The better she gets the more chances she''ll get hurt...¡± ¡°Wrong.¡± I turn to Ira. ¡°The better she gets, the happier she''ll be. You can''t project your fears onto her for the rest of your lives.¡± ¡°Would it kill you to agree with me just once! Honestly!¡± I turn away from him again. ¡°No. But I''m not about to agree to your childish fears either.¡± ¡°They are not childish! There is nothing wrong with a mother being worried for her child! It''s not like you want to see her hurt!¡± ¡°I don''t. That''s exactly the reason why I want her to get better at it. She''s not the type to sit quietly. In a way - this Beast form is perfect for her.¡± ¡°How so?¡± I try to mock him. He nods down. I look out the window again. ¡°That smile gets bigger every practice. How can you not want to see that on your child''s face?¡± He whispers and disappears again. UGH! HE INFURIATES ME! I watch Zarri spar. I can''t help, but see a vision of a proud Wykren down there with her... My heart pounds painfully the next few beats. I place my hand on my chest. You miss her too, huh? My love... ¡°Have fun today?¡± ¡°A little.¡± The kid has a look on him... ¡°Something good happen?¡± ¡°Why you ask?¡± His guard comes back up. ¡°Just a hunch. You have a different expression on you.¡± ¡°Ah. Mh.¡± That''s all I get? ¡°Have you ever liked someone?¡± ¡°You mean loved.¡± He blushes. I smile. ¡°Maybe. What? Why the shocked face?¡± ¡°Nothing.¡± ¡°I''m human too you know.¡± ¡°So? Where is she?¡± ¡°Far away.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t want to go with her?¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t choose me to go with her.¡± His look changes again. ¡°Sorry I asked.¡± ¡°So?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°You wanna tell me about her?¡± ¡°No.¡± He denies it on the spot. ¡°She''s younger... Such a brat! Gods she gets on my nerves!¡± He throws his shirt off himself. I wait. ¡°But she''s fun, you know? It''s interesting to be near her.¡± I finish up changing first. ¡°Good. Least you''re not bored.¡± ¡°Mh... She''s pretty too... For a kid, I mean. That blue...¡± Blue? I stop hooking up my daggers back on me. ¡°That green stone she wears around her neck... It''s pretty. It suits her.¡± Neck? Green stone? Wait. ¡°Are you gonna keep her name from me forever or...?¡± ¡°Zarri. I call her Breeze though. The other one is Ammi. I call her Star, cause¨C¡± No. I grab the kid by the shoulders. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. ¡°Say again.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°What''s the name? Say again!¡± ¡°Zarri! She''s Zarri! Get off! What''s wrong with you!¡± Crile snaps my hands of his shoulders just as I taught him. I grab his wrist and drag him out. ¡°Hey! HEY! WHAT GIVES! LET GO! HEY! THAT HURTS! HEY!¡± I use the first evening shadow I step on and we reemerge by the Palace. She should be... There. ¡°Don''t... Do... That... Warn me... Least...¡± ¡°Is that her?¡± I hold Crile by the shoulder. ¡°Is that HER!¡± ¡°HUH? What?¡± He looks where I''m pointing. ¡°Breeze!¡± Oh to Hell with you... ¡°Wait. Why is she there? What''s she doing? Who''s that?¡± ¡°That. Is one of the Palace guards. This is her evening training session.¡± Zarri gets knocked down on her ass again. She''s been learning the staff now. She stands up again and gets in position. She goes in first, striking from above. ¡°Dummy! No! Go for the legs! You''re too short!¡± Crile smacks his forehead. Zarri jumps back and takes a running start, she sticks the staff into the ground and pushes herself up into the air. The guard knocks the staff over with one strike. I grin. Zarri had already shifted mid-air. She falls straight down on the guard. He has no other option than to defend himself, letting the kitten bite down on the staff. Wrong move. Zarri bites down and the wood breaks. Blain''s roaring laughter reaches us. ¡°Alright! That''s the way!¡± Crile cheers for her. ¡°Wait. How do you know Breeze?¡± ¡°The one you named Breeze is Gazarria Stardust. The Heir of Noxanda. I am her bodyguard.¡± I stare at the boy. The wheels are turning. ¡°HUUUUH!!!! NO WAY! THAT CAN¡¯T BE RIGHT!!! Aaahhhh damn iiiiittt!!!¡± He grabs his head and leans back. ¡°Tell me you''re kidding.¡± ¡°Nope.¡± ¡°DAMN IT!!¡± He lowers his arms again. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°What do you mean what is it! I can''t be friends with her! She''s royalty! And I''m...¡± ¡°You''re a...what?¡± ¡°Nobody.¡± The kid mumbles. I sigh. ¡°Well, we can''t have that, now, can we?¡± He looks at me again. ¡°From this moment on you are Crile Shadowkill. There. Now you''re not a nobody. That should be enough for you to be able to stay friends with her.¡± ¡°Wait, what are you?¡± ¡°I only have one question. Do you care enough for her to become her Shadow?¡± ¡°Like you are?¡± He stares at me. I nod. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Then you vow to protect her?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Whatever it takes?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Welcome to the torture.¡± I offer him my forearm. He shakes it. ¡°Look after her. Or else.¡± ¡°I don''t need you telling me that. I would have done so either way.¡± Cheeky brat. ¡°Come on. We have some work to do. Gotta get you to look the part.¡± A few days later I arrange for Devona to meet the kid right around the time Zarri finishes her lessons. We picked the training grounds. I figured an informal setting would ease the pressure. ¡°Allow me to formally introduce to you: Crile Shadowkill. With your permission, Priestess, I''d like to include him into the Heir''s security detail, allowing him access into the Palace at any time.¡± Devona walks over closer. The kid bows. ¡°I''m Devona. Nice to meet you.¡± She offers a hand. The boy looks at me. I nod. ¡°Crile, ma''am.¡± ¡°Please look after my daughter. She can be a bit of a handful.¡± ¡°I''m aware.¡± Crile smiles. ¡°I don''t mind it. I promise to keep her safe! Even if she won''t like it!¡± He declares, bowing again. Devona smiles. ¡°I''m glad to hear that.¡± Sounds of chatter and giggles reach us. The girls show themselves from around the corner with Emerald right behind them. Amana notices us first and stops. ¡°Ira!¡± Zarri runs over to us. ¡°Crile? What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Working." The kid answers proudly. ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Starting today he''ll be helping me guard you when I won''t be able to.¡± I explain. ¡°Wait, you two know each other?¡± ¡°Hello.¡± Amana nods to me. ¡°Yeah.¡± Crile hesitates. ¡°He''s my guardian...¡± ¡°More or less a father, at this point. We''ve been living together for the past year, I''ve been training him too. I trust him...¡± ¡°HUH! WAIT! WHAT!! HE GETS TO BE YOUR CHILD, BUT I CAN¡¯T BE!!! THE HELL!!!¡± ¡°GAZARRIA!¡± Devona. ¡°NO! THAT¡¯S NOT FAIR! I SAW HIM FIRST!¡± Zarri points at me. What in the world...? ¡°Zarri...¡± Amana. ¡°NO! I REFUSE! IT¡¯S NOT FAIR! ¡°Zarri shifts and tries to run away. ¡°Gazarria! Stop!¡± Devona''s attempt fails. I dive under and emerge in front of Zarri, she tries to run, but gets trapped in the shadow. I catch her from behind and lift her up. She struggles, roaring, trying to get out. I tighten my grip around her body and wait. She puts some more effort in. A claw connects with my face. I manage to close my eye right on impact. I feel the stinging and the wet flow... A gasp from the ladies stops Zarri mid tantrum. She looks up at me and lowers her paws and ears. She slowly shifts back, from the legs up. I set her down on the ground. ¡°How bad is it?¡± I ask Crile. ¡°Aaahhh... Least your eye is intact?¡± That bad, huh? ¡°I can help!¡± Amana runs over. I lean down for her. She opens her water pouch and chants the liquid out of it. She rips a small portion of the floating potion off and forces it on the cut. The fluid seals up the wound instantly. She repeats it a couple more times. ¡°That should do it. I added a numbing spell on top, just to ease the swelling. The cuts are gone, but...¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I smile. Zarri hasn''t raised her head still. ¡°Anything you''d like to say?¡± Devona asks her. The mother sighs. ¡°I''m sorry.¡± ¡°It''s fine. I''ve had worse.¡± I answer. ¡°Come here, let''s talk.¡± I offer Zarri my hand. She takes it without looking at me. I pull her in, put my hand over her shoulder and we go under. We come back up on the roof. I sit down, so does Zarri. ¡°I''m not mad about the scratch. In case you''re worried.¡± ¡°Mh...¡± She hugs her knees. I sigh. ¡°I can''t be your father. To be it, I either need to become King or your Mother needs to give up her title. Neither is possible.¡± ¡°Why¡­¡± ¡°Your Mother and Father worked too hard to be at the top. Giving up on it would mean throwing everything away. Everything would go back the way it used to be before Wykren. Which means that everything that Wykren worked so long and hard for, everything he stands for, everything he means to Noxanda. Even the entire Continent - would go out the window... Your Mother and I have too much respect for your Father to let it happen.¡± A murmur. I continue. ¡°Your Mother is in love with your Father still. She won''t marry anyone else.¡± I look down at Zarri. ¡°The best I can be is your bodyguard. Is that not enough?¡± ¡°No. No, it''s not...¡± She pouts. ¡°You never complained before...¡± ¡°I assumed you kinda were... I wished for it once upon a falling star, so I...¡± ¡°Sorry to disappoint.¡± ¡°Mh... Just because you can''t be him officially, doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t think of you as one?¡± Zarri carefully glances up at me. ¡°If that will make you happy - sure.¡± ¡°''Kay...¡± ¡°Can I get a hug now?¡± I open my arms for her. She leans into my embrace. ¡°Sorry I scratched you...¡± I smile. ¡°Thanks for saying it.¡± ¡°She really likes you...¡± Crile mumbles to me. ¡°Who?¡± ¡°Breeze.¡± Huh? Oh right. Zarri. ¡°She considers me a friend. I have been her bodyguard since she was born.¡± ¡°Not like that!¡± He says in a loud voice. ¡°Something wrong?¡± ¡°No.¡± He goes to the bathroom and slams the door. It opens again a second later. ¡°Sorry. Didn''t mean to slam it...¡± ¡°Right...¡± I do something wrong? I stand there half naked and baffled... It dawns on me. ¡°If she was my kid too, you two would be siblings! Rather not have you date your sister! Thank me later!!¡± ¡°SHUUUUTTT UUUUUPPP!!!¡± He yells back from the bathroom. I smile. Kids... 11. Another day - Same troubles ¡°Here''s what I don''t get.¡± Crile sits down with his serious face on. This should be good. ¡°Aren''t Noxians supposed to be good at parenting?¡± Ha! You''re telling me. ¡°What brought this on suddenly?¡± ¡°Been thinking, is all...¡± He mutters. ¡°Here''s the thing. Noxians are a young race. Because we live for so long, we don''t have as many generations as the others. We watch them and adapt their ways of life that suit us. We don''t just copy them. As a result of that, somewhere along the line it has been determined that children are important.¡± ¡°Them being the future, and all that?¡± ¡°Right. It''s not a responsibility that just anyone can handle. But, once it does happen - you''re gonna have to take responsibility for making it happen.¡± I stare for half a second longer. He gets it. I continue. ¡°It takes longer for Noxians to mature. In body and mind. We couldn¡¯t procreate in the beginning. But in time, our bodies adapted and that''s how you happened.¡± ¡°Did you have say it like that?¡± ¡°No, but it''s funnier this way.¡± I grin to his eyeroll. ¡°Anyways. Other races have the advantage of dying before ever realizing the bullshit they have caused for other people. It''s their blessing, really. Us? We have enough time to notice it. Well, if we don¡¯t die tragically young.¡± I pause. ¡°Do you know why Noxians began the tradition of marriages?¡± Crile takes a moment. ¡°Because you fight better when you have someone to protect?¡± ¡°Oooh. You do pay attention.¡± Crile growls at me. I smile and pour myself another drink. ¡°How much do you know about other nations and their customs?¡± He shrugs. ¡°Not much.¡± ¡°Ok. We''ll start with the easiest - Primerians don''t get married. They just do whatever suits their curiosity. Least here in the Old Continent. Over there - they make a spectacle of it with white dresses and flowers and whatever. The Cornutese get married to a single mate for life - hunting in pairs is easier. They live in families of two or three people tops. The more mouths to feed the more work.¡± I notice Crile''s look, but carry on. ¡°The Balli used to have a week long wedding festivals, but they switched to a harem system.¡± ¡°Switched? Used to? Why?¡± ¡°Because they figured out that when two people get married it''s not the two people only who are married. Entire families were being joined together through those marriages. That was cause for greats conflicts within the families and between them. Knowing the kind of hotblooded characters the Balli are, well it¡¯s a miracle they didn¡¯t slaughter themselves out. So, they switched to something less hazardous...ish...¡± ¡°Oh... So that''s why it''s rare for Noxians to have like grandparents and such?¡± ¡°Pretty much.¡± I pour another cupful. ¡°If your parents don''t approve with your choice for a mate - no worries. You do you and they stay out of it. After they tell you what they think of it first, of course. Like I said - Noxians are a young race. We try, but we make our own mistakes still. Even if we learn from others.¡± I pause again. ¡°To put it blunt - mistakes happens when children have children.¡± ¡°Meaning what?¡± ¡°Meaning that you''re not supposed take care of someone when you need to be taken care of yourself. Kids ain''t supposed to be raising kids.¡± I take a gulp. ¡°It takes time for a person to be ready for raising the next generation. Our ancestors saw that when watching the others do it. The difference - they die before anyone ever has the chance to tell them their mistakes.¡± ¡°That''s why you called it a blessing.¡± The kid mutters. I nod. I reach for the bottle, but pull away. ¡°So then how does anyone ever know when they are ready?¡± I grin. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Ain¡¯t it a bit too soon for you to have kids?¡± I smirk. ¡°Shut up!¡± He looks away. I laugh quickly. ¡°It''s difficult to say.¡± I think about it. ¡°Right. Let''s say you''re walking down the street and see a child crying. What do you do?¡± ¡°Comfort them.¡± Huh. Wasn''t expecting that... Then again. Those who know the feeling... ¡°Congrats, you''ve reached step one of being ready.¡± I salute him with the empty cup. He throws me a glare. ¡°Most your age would have answered with "ignore it" or "would wanna kill it". Crile stares at me. I continue on. ¡°A few years later go by - same situation. The difference, that this time you wanna kill the kid''s parents. Chances are - they are the reason for the kid''s crying in the first place. They always are. The kid who doesn''t know anything about how the world works cannot be blamed for mistakes made.¡± ¡°What if the ones who had the kid don''t know anything about the world themselves?¡± I like it how he catches on fast. ¡°Then they shouldn''t breed. Ever.¡± I give the kid a blank stare. He nods a few times quickly. ¡°So. Wanna tell me what brought this on?¡± Crile''s look changes. ¡°Something happened a while back.¡± I straighten my shoulders out. ¡°Hold up!¡± The kid gets defensive instantly. ¡°You need to understand I didn''t know who she was when it happened and nothing happened ever since. So I figured we had it handled...¡± ¡°Spill.¡± I keep my glare locked on the kid. Slowly, he describes the situation to me. My mind goes blank. My body moves for me. I flip the table single handed to the side and grab the kid by his throat. I lift Crile up to my eye level just by the throat. ¡°All. This. TIME!!!¡± I roar in his face. ¡°I''m sorryyyyy! I didn''t... I... If I had... I would''ve... I''m sorry...¡± Tears pool in the corners of his regretful eyes. I let go. Crile falls to his knees, coughing. ¡°It never happened again so... I thought... And then you... And now I... And... I''m sorry.¡± ¡°What for. You didn''t know. It''s not your fault.¡± ¡°Where... Wait! Where are you going!¡± I hear the voice behind me. ¡°I''ll be back.¡± I close the door. ¡°Ira. A word.¡± I get up and walk to the balcony. ¡°Priestess?¡± He stands behind me. ¡°I heard you went on a hunt recently. You weren''t home for over a week.¡± I pause. ¡°Crile was worried about you. Before you say anything, no, he did not tell me. I overheard the kids by chance.¡± ¡°I apologize for not informing you of my absence in advance. It won''t happen again.¡± I sigh. ¡°Cut the crap.¡± I turn around. ¡°It concerns my daughter, does it not? Something happened and you are keeping it from me. I can understand them, but you?¡± I stare the man down. He holds my glare well. ¡°You needn''t worry. I took care of it.¡± Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. ¡°That''s not what worries me!¡± I walk up closer to him. ¡°I want to know what happened. I demand to know!¡± Ira doesn¡¯t blink. ¡°You won''t like it.¡± ¡°I. Don''t. Care.¡± He sighs and tells me how Amana has been harassed around by lesser Noxian children. That much I knew already, it¡¯s how the girls met in the first place. He gets to the part about the woods and my blood boils. ¡°That happened!¡± ¡°Over a year ago, yes. Unfortunately, the kids didn''t mean to worry us. I''m guessing that was Zarri''s call to make. She doesn''t mean to be cause for trouble... It seems to follow her, though... Crile kept the girls'' names a secret from me just to be a brat about it. Boys.¡± He sighs. ¡°But now.¡± ¡°Yes. Thank you, for stating the obvious. That much I can gather.¡± I pace around. ¡°Well? Did you end them?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°WHAT!¡± I stop dead in my tracks. ¡°It happened over a year ago! If it had been yesterday then maybe, sure! They even barely remembered what they did, the moronoids!¡± Ira''s fists tighten. ¡°In comparison to me - they were kids too... I ruffed them up and let them live. I made it look like I was "watching" them, which I was, had to time it perfectly...¡± He shakes his head. ¡°Never mind. The kids managed to fend for themselves. What I did was simply vent my own disappointment.¡± ¡°Did it help?¡± Ira looks at me. ¡°No.¡± I notice a guard behind him. ¡°What is it?¡± I call out. Ira looks over his shoulder too. ¡°The children are gone and so is the Saber...¡± ¡°WHAT!¡± I close the distance in a few steps. ¡°HOW!¡± I hear laughter behind me. ¡°Relax. The four of them are probably together running around some place. Least Emerald''s with them this time. They can take care of themselves.¡± "Get someone in the Air and find them! Least I want to know they are ok.¡± ¡°Yes, Priestess.¡± The guard girl nods and runs off. I return to the rails and gaze over the city... "This won''t be the last time she does this, you know that." ¡°Do NOT PATRONIZE ME!¡± I yell and... ¡°What am I supposed to do with her...¡± ¡°Let her be her.¡± A whisper behind me. I turn around only to find out that nobody is there anymore. ¡°Enough!¡± I call out to Crile. ¡°A bit longer!¡± He answers. The brat. I walk over to him and grab him by the back of his collar and drag him back inside. ¡°Hey! What the hell!¡± ¡°I can respect and admire your enthusiasm and dedication to your training and your job, but I did not go through the trouble of making the damn dinner so it could go cold.¡± I toss the boy inside the room. He sets his knives down on the countertop and washes his hands. We sit down and have our meal in silence. ¡°Aren¡¯t you mad?¡± ¡°About what?¡± I keep my eyes down. ¡°About us taking Emerald and¡­¡± ¡°And running off like a bunch of idiots?¡± I look up a little. It''s been like a week since then. The kid clearly knows it was wrong to do it. I sigh. ¡°Listen. I won¡¯t say anything as long as you guys stay safe and unharmed. Zarri¡¯s a good Druid, Amana¡¯s heals are improving and I¡¯m well aware of your skill set too. I have faith that you three are capable of handling yourselves. Plus, with Emerald there ¨C I¡¯m even less worried.¡± He looks at me different now. ¡°Did that help? Feel better now?¡± A slight nod. I get back to my dinner. ¡°Did you kill them?¡± He finally asks me. ¡°Why you ask that now?¡± ¡°I...¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Is it ok to hunt people like this?¡± ¡°Do you think what I did was wrong?¡± I scan the kid¡¯s expression. He''s thinking... ¡°I understand fighting in the arena. Or on the battlefield...¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°But this... Doesn''t that make you the same as them?¡± ¡°And what would that be?¡± Crile doesn''t answer. ¡°Listen. It doesn''t matter what level you need to stoop to, to keep someone safe. There''s a line that shouldn''t be crossed, sure, but if you know who you are then it doesn''t matter which level you chose to "stoop to" - as long as you can come back to your level.¡± ¡°You say that as if it is possible to return from being a monster?¡± ¡°Is that what I am to you now? A monster?¡± Crile looks away. I laugh. ¡°I''ll become whatever the monster I need to, if that what it takes to keep her safe.¡± I tell him. ¡°Even if she ends up hating me. If that''s the price I''ll have to pay - so be it. So ask yourself. Can you do the same for her. Not for you. But for her?¡± I look at Crile. ¡°I...don''t know...¡± ¡°Let me know when you do.¡± I let him think it over. ¡°For the record - the three moronoids are alive. A few broken bones here and there, but nothing more. The scars you gave them made it easier for me to, remind them, certain details.¡± I get up from the table, wash my plates and pat the kid on the head before calling it a night. ¡°Thanks for worrying, kiddo. Night.¡± ¡°Night.¡± ¡°Master!¡± A messenger hands the monthly reports. ¡°Thank you.¡± I begin reading them on the spot. There''s been word that something has begun stirring up trouble again within the Balli lands. Best case it just some bandits again or whatever. But my paranoia nags at me... It''s been thirteen years now. That hatchling of a Warchief has grown up... Terrack''s holding out on his last leg... No word on his successor yet either. Which makes me even more uneasy... Just because we haven''t been slicing and dicing each other up for over 30 years doesn''t mean we haven''t been preparing all this time just in case... Though I truly wish there was no such thing as "just in case"... ¡°Trouble?¡± A voice reaches my thoughts. Devona stands in front of me. I fold the papers and hide them from her in the mini case on my hip. ¡°I''ll let you know when and if anything happens.¡± ¡°You''d better.¡± She stares me down. ¡°On your way to somewhere?¡± ¡°I was about to watch Zarri''s afternoon practice.¡± ¡°Sounds great. Mind if I join you? I''m curious to see her improvement.¡± I smile. Devona glances over at the leather case. ¡°Sure.¡± She walks away. I follow her to the terrace as I keep the respectful distance between us. Zarri is surrounded by four palace guards. She stands in the middle of the ring. Amana and Crile watch her from the side. Blain''s there too. He gives the signal and they''re off. Zarri fights them close range, one at the time, as they charge her, switching out between themselves. This feels vaguely familiar... She snatches an axe from one of the fellas. All men? No casters? Ah. No. Here it comes. An earth slam, right from below her legs. Zarri throws the axe away and shifts mid-air, as she tries to avoid the caster. What in the? Zarri doesn''t shift all the way. Her legs have, but not the rest of her. She takes her daggers out and throws them. Oh, ok, so she can''t shift with weapons on her. Wait. She hasn''t gone full beast yet still. Why? Is something wrong? I step up closer to the railing. What is going on? I keep watching her. Zarri lands on her cat paws, upside down and kicks one of the guards right in the face, knocking the guy out cold. She leaps herself into the air, does a few backflips and spins her body quickly, as if hovering mid-air, dodging a few stones!! Flying right at her! I grip the marble rails and stare. She somersaults side-ways, spread like a star and lands right on the stone Mage''s shoulders. She locks her cat legs around his neck and pulls him backwards, landing on her front paws, sending the caster flying. The last two guards team up and charge her. I feel my face rearrange itself into a grin. I know what that is. I watch Zarri kick ass out there. She goes full cat mode and jumps over the two men, running at her. She picks up her daggers off the ground and throws them again. She hits one leg and goes half mode again. She uses her cat claws to swipe at the upcoming dual-wielder with a standard one bladed axe and a mace in hand. Zarri uses her tail!! To grab hold of the handle, stealing the mace right out of the guys¡¯ hand. He goes in with a frontal attack next. Zarri dodges it and swipes the leg. No hit. The other guard makes an assist - the mace is back in the game. Damn it! Come on! I feel my body tense. The grin hasn''t disappeared. Zarri moves fast and gets out of range from the weapons. She backs up more, goes full cat and makes a run for it!? No. She circles back. Was she always this fast? She runs in circles around the last guard standing. Right, can''t smash what you can''t touch. Zarri charges the man from behind, leaving four dents in the ground?? Well now. Someone has been sharing tips and tricks... The guard goes flying a few feet. Zarri stands there in her half-form? She wasn''t running in her full cat?? Her paws and claws slowly retract. Oh. She used her mana from her shift to power up on her speed. She retracted from her cat form slower than normal, which allowed her to maintain agility and power of her full form, but more condensed. Blain is having a field day out there. Crile and Amana check on the poor saps. I feel my shoulders twitch. A roaring laugh escapes me. I look down again and see Zarri looking at us. I raise my fist above my head in a silent victory cheer. She responds with the same gesture and the brightest smile I have seen on her yet. ¡°I''m so proud of her.¡± ¡°I''m not.¡± I look to my right. Devona stands there - sheer terror reflects on her face. I turn away again from her. ¡°If you can''t be happy with her then be happy for her. Now smile and clap, she''s watching.¡± Feint claps sound next to me with a trembling smile for an accessory. 12. The Losses and the Gains ¡°Well now, this is a rare sight - the two of you together.¡± Considering they try to kill each other on sight... Never understood that type of "attraction"... I look over my old friends. They stop and bow. ¡°Priestess. It''s good to see you again.¡± Lohk smiles at me. Ira appears from the shadows too. Never a good sign. ¡°Priestess, let us cut to the chase.¡± Melluna looks concerned. ¡°I''m listening.¡± I leave the reports alone and give them my full attention. ¡°We heard that the Balli have been restless again.¡± Mell begins. ¡°We wish to volunteer to go to Ballista for a diplomatic mission as Peacekeepers to put the troubles to rest.¡± Lohk finishes. ¡°How do you know of this?¡± Ira steps forward. ¡°I have my sources too.¡± Lohk winks. That''s former Military for you... ¡°Where is this coming from?¡± I ask. ¡°Our daughter.¡± ¡°Laira? What does she have to do with anything? She''s barely eight!¡± I fail to understand. ¡°Exactly.¡± Mell nods. ¡°I can''t raise my girl worrying every day if another war is about to break out or not.¡± ¡°Our girl. Our.¡± Lohk waves his hands to him and Mell. ¡°She''s just as much as my girl as she is yours, in case you forgot in the last minute. I''ve been worrying about the same thing for the past two years too.¡± ¡°Oh, is she now?¡± Here we go again... ¡°Gee, how kind of you to remind me that I was stupid enough to have her with you of all people!¡± Melluna mocks him. ¡°Clearly. That''s why you named her without me...¡± Lohk hisses. ¡°Oh for the love of! She''s already eight.years.old! Yet you still persist with the same! You weren''t there!!¡± Mell yells again. ¡°You could have waited!!¡± Lohk goes at it again... Oh boy... I sit there watching them... This will take a bit... ¡°What for! Like I knew when or if you''ll show up on my door step ever again!¡± ¡°Oh, well that''s a convenient excuse for you, isn''t it! That''s why she only has a single letter from my name!¡± ¡°Be happy she has that much!¡± ¡°ENOUGH!¡± I stand up. ¡°Honestly you two. If this had happened twenty years ago or so - I could understand it, but now...¡± ¡°What''s done is done.¡± Mell answers. ¡°Don''t make her sound like an event.¡± Lohk hisses. ¡°She''s a precious jewel!¡± ¡°I don''t need you to tell me that!¡± ¡°DO NOT START AGAIN!¡± I roar before they get into it again. The two of them shut up. We a take a moment. ¡°I''ll ask again. Are you sure you want to do this?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± They answer in one voice. ¡°We might hate each other, but there is one thing we do agree on and that''s Laira.¡± Lohk says. ¡°We''re willing to do what''s needed to secure the peace for her to grow up in. We both know what war is and we both don''t want her to experience that.¡± Melluna adds. ¡°Wykren protected us enough. We want to return the favor now.¡± Lohk''s eyes harden too. ¡°It''s not just for us or for our daughter. It''s for all Noxian children to come. Now that we know what peace feels like - we won''t go back.¡± As a War-Vet he''s well aware what the fighting can do to a person. In body and spirit... Melluna too. As a friend of mine form our Temple days and one of the very first to join our War-Vet-Help system she has firsthand experience in dealing with broken people... ¡°There''s no need for you two to go anywhere. You have Laira to look after.¡± Ira''s voice snaps me back the reality. ¡°I alone will be enough.¡± ¡°Ira is better suited here, in case...¡± Lohk implies my least favorite option. ¡°They made fools of you enough, Devona. The Stardust family of Noxanda are not a bunch of mutts to be pushed around by the older families.¡± Mell looks at me. ¡°We''ll go. If you¡¯ll give us your blessing as the Queen. We''ll go in your place to speak to the Balli.¡± Lohk adds quickly. I turn to Ira. He''s not liking this... Frankly neither am I... But I do agree. Ira is needed here more... And me? Am I needed here still? Idiot. Zarri is too young to lead a nation. ¡°So be it.¡± I hear the sound of my voice. ¡°However. You''ll need a name.¡± I look out the window. The green colors of the spring dance outside to the rhythm of the wind. I smile. ¡°Evergreen. From here on out you two are Lohk and Melluna Evergreen, representatives of the Stardust family. You hold the same power as one of the family members to decide on matters regarding our nation should there be a need for it. However. We hold the power to deny the decisions made should it be deemed necessary. Just a safety measure.¡± I wink at the couple. ¡°Little Laira is bestowed with the same name. I''ll leave it up to her to decide if she wishes to use it or not in the future.¡± The two of them kneel for me. ¡°Thank you for this honor, our Queen!¡± ¡°Feel free to bring Laira over, we''ll happily look after her till you return.¡± I smile at my friends and they stand up again. ¡°Thank you.¡± Mell smiles at me and they leave. ¡°You sure that was a good idea?¡± ¡°No. But I simply do not wish to get directly involved unless I absolutely must. Perhaps they have the right idea in mind. Maybe offering some ¡°higher assistance¡± would help...¡± ¡°They could be gone for months or years.¡± Ira adds. ¡°And they''ll have a lifetime to bicker over how cute Laira is after they come back.¡± ¡°Priestess...¡± A single guard stands in the middle of the room. Muddy and bloody. No. Please... I run past the guard through the hall and out the front entrance. Two bodies lay in a wooden carrier and another six in another two right behind them... Oh Gods no... Ira appears next to me. ¡°Stop her!¡± I turn around. Crile struggles with a screaming Laira in his arms. Zarri and Amana catch up with the boy. Zarri changes into her half form and assists Crile. Laira continues to fight. Oh sweet child... She keeps calling for them... Nobody says anything... I... Zarri puts an end to the girls screams with one quick hit to the foot of the head. Laira collapses in their arms. Zarri wraps herself around Laira and holds her to her. Crile looks over at Ira for guidance. Amana stands there, weeping in silence. I turn back to the bodies. ¡°Prepare for a funeral... and...¡± I take in some air. ¡°BRING ME THE ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ALIVE!!! I''LL PUT THEM THROUGH THE WORST KIND OF TORTURE IMAGINABLE!!¡± I do not recognize my own voice. The pain and the rage just burst out... ¡°No need, Priestess.¡± I turn to where the sound is coming from. ¡°We have them right here.¡± My people clear the way. A squad of red skinned Balli approach us. They open up and show us more Balli, all chained up and sitting nicely in a cage. ¡°We apologize for the tragedy... We hope that this;¡± the man points to the cage; ¡°will be accepted as an apology and a gift.¡± ¡°Isn''t it a bit convenient for you to present us with such a gift with this timing?¡± Ira approaches the men. The one who speaks hands Ira a scroll. Ira reads through it and brings it to me. ¡°Terrack''s dead. His eldest has taken over. It says he agrees that the Treaty is what is best for the Continent and will continue to uphold it as before. Allegedly he''s doing whatever he can to eliminate the radicals...¡± ¡°Then how are Mell and Lohk and the others dead!!¡± I scream out again. ¡°It was an ambush. We found evidence suggesting the road was being watched and preparations were made...¡± Our guard speaks behind me. ¡°Yes. Unfortunately, corruption has made its way into our side of the Joint Task Force. The officer responsible for watching over the traffic on that road has replaced some of our men with the Faction.¡± The Balli soldier confirms. ¡°It was meant...¡± ¡°Meant to provoke us into a blind rage. Your War-Fanatics have made a crucial mistake of thinking that my dear friends who lay dead here are the King and Queen of Noxanda. Understandable, all of us Noxians must look the same to you.¡± I finish the explanation myself. The man does not answer. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°The plan would have worked. Sadly for them, they didn''t double check. This;¡± I gesture to the dead couple; ¡°are Lohk and Melluna Evergreens. Be sure to engrave that name into your land¡¯s history. They were Noxanda''s Diplomats. Close to the standing of the Stardust Royal Family, but not close enough. Your peoples eager stupidity for action is the reason MY PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!!¡± I thunder down again and quickly bite my tongue. ¡°Or not. Who knows. Perhaps this was just as planned.¡± I try to contain myself. I fail miserably. ¡°FRANKLY I DO NOT CARE HOW THIS HAPPENED! NOTHING WOULD BRING ME MORE PLEASURE THAN TO RIP YOU APART!!!¡± I take a few breaths... ¡°Feed them to the public.¡± I point to the cage. ¡°I don''t know how the Balli deal with criminals, but here we do not take threats made against the Royal Family or anyone representing us ¨C lightly.¡± I glare down to the man. My people are given custody of the murderers. ¡°Tell your new King, that the gift has been received. As for the apology - I''ll be expecting to hear one directly from him, right here. Be a dear and make sure he gets this as soon as possible.¡± I smile viciously. The man nods and the Balli brigade leave. I take Laira from Zarri and we all carry her back inside to one of the rooms. ¡°Stay with her till everything is ready. She''ll gonna want to say goodbye. Regardless of how painful it is or she''ll regret it.¡± I whisper to my daughter as we lay Laira down. Zarri nods in response. ¡°I trust I can leave Laira to you three?¡± I ask the rest. Crile and Amana nod. I bow my head to them and leave. I snatch the damned scroll out of Ira''s hands and get to work. The light darkens. Someone informs me that everything is ready. I gather myself and meet with the children outside, by the fireplaces. Everyone has a candle in hand. I take mine and exhale. I, Zarri and Laira approach the stacked wood. Zarri and I hold Laira by the hands. She shakes her head. Yes, baby, I know... I know... I smile at her and throw my candle through the gap. A little smoke raises up and a quiet crackling reaches us. Laira keeps shaking her head. I gently take her hand, which holds the lit candle and raise it up. She drops the candle through her sobs. Zarri, Ira, Crile and Amana follow. The flames slowly pick up. Everyone else throw their tiny fires in too. ¡°The fire is the soul.¡± I begin. ¡°We give a piece of ourselves to the souls extinguished for them to take with them as we say our farewells.¡± I hate this... I speak up again. ¡°Let our light be your guide to the Afterlife!" I raise my hands up. "May the Stars welcome you into their warm embrace! May your souls be reborn!¡± The crowd roars. Laira falls to her knees. She held up enough. The children take her back inside. I soon follow them, leaving the rest of my land to see off the departed souls for me. I return to my room and pour myself a drink. How did I let this happen? Why did I let this happen? ¡°Well, the good news is - the only good news.¡± I hear Ira''s voice behind me. ¡°Olcano, Terrack''s successor, can''t start his reign with conflict, although, I do believe that was the Pro-War Faction''s intention, but that''s only my speculation. So. The kid is trying real hard to patch this up as soon as possible. That''s why they accepted our help so easily, although, according to the last report that Lohk sent us, before... There was no need for concern. The reports about the size of the Pro-War supporters were falsified, that, or they faked the rumors about them being fake to throw us off. Either way - it was an elaborate attempt to scare us, which, sadly - we took the bait. They were counting on someone important enough to kill to come over to their side.¡± I sip my vine as I stare into the roaring flames outside and listen to Ira''s report... ¡°The only thing that''s bothering me is the execution of it all. If it were made to look like an accident - it would make no sense. We wouldn''t be provoked. If they attacked first - they can''t blame us for anything. They had to provoke them to fight, but our party managed to fight back harder than the Faction anticipated. The man said there were signs of an ambush. I can only guess the plan was to blame us for "causing harm" to the Balli, but it failed and the Balli themselves threw the first punch, probably. Knowing Lohk and Mell - it''s kinda the only explanation I can think of...¡± ¡°Those two were always at each other''s throats. I can imagine how easy it was for the two of them to taunt the Balli...¡± I take another sip. ¡°Too easy, apparently...¡± Ira mumbles. ¡°Anyways. I was certain that the Anchors would prevent something like this from happening¡­¡± ¡°It has been fifteen years since the Joint Task Force was established.¡± I take another sip. It¡¯s easy to track it, since Zarri is fifteen years old now¡­ ¡°Yeah, which is what worries me, because that means that all of this was orchestrated and funded by someone rich enough and, or powerful too. Perhaps that¡¯s the reason why Olcano is putting so much effort into containing it. Whoever started this, might be a direct threat to his position as well. I¡¯m not surprised why he wouldn¡¯t hesitated to launch an all-out hunt for the rebels.¡± Yeah, guess the more prosperous the land becomes the greedier some bastards get... ¡°At this rate we probably won''t ever know how they would have spun it. But I, personally, can live without knowing. As long as Olcano gets it under control. Oh.¡± Ira stops for a quick second. ¡°The other two are staying out of it.¡± I smile. He means the lands... ¡°Overall, it looks like we managed to prevent bigger losses...¡± ¡°AT WHAT COST!!!¡± I smash the glass into the wall. ¡°Laira lost her parents!!... I lost two of my friends... Noxanda lost its first and only Diplomats since well us!... Why does Peace require so many sacrifices? Why something so beautiful must be gained through such ugly methods...¡± I stare at the flames and my people gathered around them as they say their goodbyes to their friends and families that have died on my orders... ¡°It''s all my fault.¡± ¡°No, it isn''t.¡± ¡°I should have gone there myself.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Yes, Ira! I should have gone! Those two should have never left!¡± ¡°Wrong! If you had gone in their place, it would be you in those flames and Noxanda would have started a war all on its own!¡± Ira flares up. ¡°Sacrifice is ugly, but is needed! They did what they thought was right for the greater good.¡± ¡°What good is ¡°the greater good¡± if their child grows up alone!¡± ¡°She''s not alone. She''s in pain yes, but she''ll pull through.¡± ¡°How do you know that!¡± I can''t contain myself any longer. The storm of emotions is... ¡°Because Zarri won''t let her. She and the others will keep Laira going. She will grow up strong and beautiful, and intelligent just like her parents.¡± ¡°Oh spare me! What are you? A prophet now? You don''t believe a single word...¡± I mock him. ¡°I have to!¡± He snaps. I flinch from the sudden ring of his strong echo. ¡°I have to believe it or I will go insane with grief.¡± Ira says. I watch him. ¡°I don''t believe in some invisible power. But I do believe in Zarri and Crile, and Amana, and Laira.¡± He picks his eyes up again. ¡°I believe in the kids. I''m putting my faith and trust in them.¡± ¡°I envy you. You make it sound so simple...¡± ¡°It is. There isn''t anything else I believe in. It''s that simple.¡± ¡°My, don''t you look divine.¡± I lean against the wooden door. This is the first time in fifteen years that I have seen Zarri in a dress. Everyone is wearing white today. The sleek fabric flows nicely down from her shoulders. The sheer sleeves make for a playful arrangement with Zarri''s skin color. Her hair seems even bluer¡­ Everything would be so much better if it wasn''t such a sad occasion... I''m so busy admiring the view that I fail to notice the expression on Zarri''s face. I walk over closer. ¡°Is something the matter?¡± Well, besides the obvious... She looks at me before she speaks. ¡°What would he think if he saw me this way?¡± Oh. I smile and lean my back against the marble wall, right next to the mirror. I close my eyes and imagine... ¡°Let''s see. Well. He''d probably stand in the doorway for a good minute, frozen from your beauty. Then he''d rush over to you, take you by the hand, get down on one knee and ask you to marry him, as the idiot that he was.¡± I see the picture of that clearly inside my mind. ¡°Of course, he''d snap out of it real quick, realizing that it''s his own daughter he''s about to marry and he''d be thrilled with joy, pouring out compliments to his beautiful girl. Then, I believe, somewhere along the line he''d realize that other men would see the gorgeous you, and, being a man himself, he''d know what they would think of, as they would lay their eyes on you. That would get him really pissed off and scared.¡± I giggle to myself from that image. ¡°He''d be torn about letting you out and keeping you here. Of course, he''d decide on letting you go, but he''d be hovering over you the entire time as you...¡± Strange quiet sound makes me open my eyes. Zarri stands there, with her face covered, sobbing. Idiot. ¡°Now now, Sweetness, no need for that.¡± I wrap my arms gently around her and slowly stroke her back. ¡°I''m sorry.¡± A light shake. ¡°Nuh-uh. I asked...¡± I hold her for about a minute, when Crile shows up. ¡°The Balli are here.¡± He announces. ¡°Everyone is gathered now.¡± I nod. ¡°Right then. Let''s get this over with.¡± Zarri wipes her eyes and I recognize Devona and Wykren in her look. That quiet determination with a hint of bloodlust just in case. I grin. He''d be proud to have her for a daughter. Zarri, Laira, and Crile are the last ones to show up, with Ira right behind them. We asked Amana to stay away this time. This is our matter to handle. I take Laira''s hands into mine. ¡°Bear with us. This will be over soon.¡± She nods. Good girl. Zarri and Crile surround Laira. I take top row center and give the signal to let the Balli in. Wykren used to make a point to taunt his opponents, so will I. They can afford to wait a little. The breeze is quite nice today I hear. The new King steps inside our Throne Hall, with his escort a few steps back? Interesting... He bows. Almost kneels. ¡°Priestess, I am here today to express my deepest condolences for your loss and the loss of your land. Smart. Going in first like that. However. ¡°Oh no. I do believe you have it all wrong. It is not my forgives you need to seek.¡± Zarri brings Laira closer to me. ¡°But hers.¡± I put my hands on Laira''s shoulders. ¡°Meet one Laira Evergreen. The one and only daughter to the early departed Melluna and Lohk Evergreens.¡± The King stares at me. He slowly bows his head to us again. ¡°Miss Evergreen, I hope you will accept my deepest regrets and condolences for your loss.¡± He says. Laira takes in a breath. ¡°Your majesty, forgive me, but as I am overwhelmed with grief right now, I do not believe I am civilized enough to accept your feelings at the moment.¡± Good girl. The man stares at Laira. Chew on that for a bit. ¡°Yes, well, perhaps one day, then.¡± He nods. Laira curtsies and Crile takes her away by her arm. He leads Laira a bit further back. Zarri takes a few steps down now. ¡°I am Gazarria Stardust. Daughter of one Wykren Stardust.¡± She pauses perfectly and continues to speak before anyone else says anything. ¡°As the future of this land and its people I only have this to say: I can only hope you will do a better job next time. Looking forward to working with Ballista in the future.¡± Zarri holds eye contact and her smile a moment longer, bows lightly and walks back up, placing herself next to me. I lay my hand on her shoulder. ¡°That reminds me.¡± Zarri says. ¡°I don''t believe Cobalus has apologized to me for the Bandit-Fiasko fifteen years ago.¡± Oh no... She didn''t... I shut my eyes closed for a mere second. She really is you daughter, dear. I feel a strange conflict be born inside of me: to be proud of her or not, right now? She did just abuse the situation to her advantage... Not something I would have recommended, but something he would have done, for sure... Terrack''s replacement stares at us with an expression that only a ghost can beat. He bows his head to us again. ¡°Miss Gazarria Stardust, please accept my deepest condolences, as the current King of Ballista, for our past mistakes, that led to the untimely death of Noxanda''s King - Sir Wykren Stardust.¡± Well now. For someone who is barely younger than Terrack was when we first met him, Olcano sure managed to make himself look like a mere child just now, asking for his parents¡¯ forgiveness. I gently press my daughter¡¯s shoulders and smile. ¡°I believe you have fulfilled your purpose, your majesty. You may go now. We''ll be in touch with the other matters.¡± Zarri and I bow our heads. Every Noxian gathered follows our lead. The Balli bow back, including their King and leave. The bloody bastards. 13. On the Other Side ¡°How is she?¡± I ask Zarri one night, after Crile takes over her shift. We walk back to her room. ¡°Unpredictable.¡± Zarri yawns. ¡°She seems fine one minute, but then grabs a knife the next. We made it strictly all wooden tableware for her and no weapons rule. Crile''s gonna take a look around to make sure she hasn''t hidden anything from us.¡± She yawns again. ¡°With Amana''s test coming up, I''ll be taking her morning shift tomorrow.¡± ¡°Sounds like you guys have your hands full.¡± We sit down on the bed. ¡°Laira''s our little sister. I''ll do what I have to. I love her.¡± She leans to me. ¡°I''m glad you feel that way.¡± I rest my head on hers. ¡°Why does love hurt so much?¡± I sigh. ¡°Because it''s beautiful. The prettier it is, the more it hurts to lose it...¡± ¡°Will Laira ever be the same again?¡± ¡°No, honey-baby. She won''t. She can be ok again one day, but never the same...¡± Zarri hesitates. I feel her open and close her mouth, taking a few breaths in, but holding back to ask. I smile to myself. ¡°Well go on, don''t be shy.¡± ¡°I know Dad had parents, Emerald told me about them. So, I was wondering for a while now, how were your parents?¡± She looks up at me. ¡°I didn''t have them. The Temple was my parent.¡± She leans back some more. ¡°I don''t even know who my parents are. Or if they are even alive anymore.¡± I smile at my girl. ¡°The Temple takes in lost souls. Sometimes someone else decides it for us... I grew up in a room with another 10 girls. Can''t really say we were like sisters. I hated most of them.¡± I scowl at the bitter memories. ¡°Melluna was a few years younger than me. We were close. I remember when they brought her in. A one-year-old. Her parents had died the day before...¡± ¡°What''s it like? The Temple life?¡± ¡°Boring. There''s not much to do other than read, work, repeat. I did as I was told because I never knew there were other options... Till I grew up.¡± ¡°Is that why you studied so hard?¡± ¡°Kind of. There wasn''t anything better to do. Rather - I wasn''t interested in the usual girly shenanigans. So, I crammed as much knowledge as I could. Cleansing, Herbology and Mixology were my best friends.¡± ¡°And Mell?¡± I smile. ¡°And Mell.¡± I nod. ¡°Was it hard?¡± Zarri yawns again. ¡°What was?¡± ¡°Everything? Living like that?¡± ¡°I didn''t think too much of it. See, when you''re never given options, you never realize they exist in the first place. You can''t miss what you don''t know... Least that''s how I thought back then.¡± ¡°What changed?¡± I shrug. ¡°I don''t know. Maybe after I mastered my studies and there wasn''t anything else left to do, I began watching the world around me more...¡± ¡°And?¡± ¡°And that''s when I volunteered to go help out with the fighting.¡± ¡°That''s when you met Dad?¡± I nod and Zarri yawns again. I smile and give her a peck on the top of the head. ¡°Yes, Treasure.¡± We look at each other. ¡°Get some sleep.¡± ¡°''kay.¡± She nods and I get up. ¡°Rest well.¡± ¡°Rest well, Mom. See ya tomorrow.¡± ¡°She''s not getting any better.¡± ¡°She''s gotten worse...¡± I confirm, as we watch the children take care of Laira. ¡°They are trying.¡± ¡°They aren''t the ones that need to try.¡± Ira makes a good point. As usual. ¡°She reminds me of you.¡± ¡°Don''t.¡± I cut him off. ¡°Worst years of my life... As much as I''d like to forget - I can''t...¡± ¡°Yeah. It''s not something you can forget.¡± Somehow that sounds strange. I look to him. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Where did you go after you left here? Back then?¡± ¡°Why the sudden interest?¡± He holds my stare. I shrug. ¡°It occurred to me just now that I never asked you that before. That''s all.¡± A quiet laugh. ¡°I didn''t go anyplace nice, if that''s what you''re worried about it.¡± I turn back to Ira. ¡°How so?¡± I start walking again. He takes his time. ¡°I was in Rebellion.¡± I stop. ¡°Say again?¡± Ira catches up and passes by me a few steps up front. ¡°Wykren and I talked, before I left. He was worried about Noxians on the other side. I needed to get away from here, it seemed like a good idea at the time, so I volunteered to go and take a look.¡± ¡°Just like that?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± He gives me a blunt stare. ¡°I see.¡± I begin moving again. ¡°And? How is it?¡± ¡°Bad. Everyone is like that over there.¡± He points back, to where we just were. ¡°Give or take.¡± He adds. We walk back to the Palace. ¡°People there do whatever it takes to survive the day. There is no future. Just the past and the present. Nobody is concerned about tomorrow. Just today. Live or die ¨C it doesn''t matter.¡± ¡°What about the children?¡± ¡°Every man and child for themselves.¡± ¡°That''s...¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Ira answers before I can say anything. ¡°That''s just how the lowest of the low chains live. The higher you go the worse it gets.¡± ¡°How!?¡± ¡°Slaves. Sex. Drugs. Death.¡± My heart sinks hearing those four words. ¡°Anything goes to survive?¡± Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°If you have money. Only then does tomorrow matters...¡± Ira''s voice taints with a hint of grim. ¡°Worse part of it all - I couldn''t find a single way how it could be made any better...¡± ¡°The entire system is broken...¡± ¡°What system?¡± Ira throws me a quick glare. Right... ¡°And Wykren was worried about them?¡± Ira smiles. ¡°Yes. Yes, he was. He said: twenty years of Peace and our People hadn''t come back yet. Something along those lines.¡± ¡°It''s so like him...¡± I smile too. ¡°Yes, it was... I could never say no to the idiot...¡± ¡°So? How did you manage? Were you there the whole time you were gone?¡± ¡°Yeah. I kinda went straight there. Figured it''d be a quick recon mission and I could go someplace else.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°There was this man, he saw right through me.¡± Ira says. ¡°He knew I wasn''t from around.¡± He adds quickly. ¡°He showed me how to survive there as decently as possible. Though that involved a ton of lying and cheating, but at least there was no killing.¡± ¡°Where were you, in Rebellion?¡± ¡°The Imperial City. From what I understood - as bad as it was there - it was way worse elsewhere, and that was supposed to be the "capital." Ira rolls his eyes. ¡°What was the man like? He have a name?¡± ¡°Fred. A Primerian. Born and raised there.¡± ¡°Sounds like an interesting specimen.¡± I try my best to be polite. ¡°He was. Slept with a different woman each night. Give or take.¡± Ira sees my expression and smiles. ¡°He said that this way none of them can get hurt.¡± Oh! ¡°He made his living hustling card games. Lots of money and even more danger.¡± ¡°Oh... How thoughtful of him... Can''t care for something you¡¯re not attached to? I guess?¡± ¡°Yeah. Rather - he cared about people more than he made it look.¡± ¡°Such a sad gaze you have there. Did something happen?¡± I ask. ¡°He got himself killed. Stole from the wrong kind of folk. Well, he did win the money. But they found out he cheated and how he did it. So, they took it as stealing and gutted him.¡± ¡°Why? Can''t get your coins back from a dead man?¡± ¡°True. But it wasn''t about the money. It was about reputation and sending a message.¡± Ira stares in front of him. ¡°I see... Were you...?¡± ¡°There when it happened? No. I found his body a few days later.¡± ¡°What did you do?¡± ¡°Left it as it was.¡± He answers blunt. I open my mouth and close it shut again. ¡°Because if you had buried him, they would have gone after you for the money too...¡± ¡°Something like it... Soon after that Lyma reached out to me and I came back.¡± ¡°Wait. You never spoke with Wykren after you left?¡± ¡°Nope. I tried, but I wasn''t sure what to say. Hey, I''m in Rebellion. It''s worse than we thought, but all''s ok!¡± He looks at me. Yeah... ¡°I was worried he''d cross over there if he knew how bad it was. So, I stayed quiet.¡± ¡°Thanks. Least he didn¡¯t die over on that side.¡± ¡°He wasn''t supposed to die at all...¡± Ira whispers and tears roll down my face again. ¡°Long day?¡± ¡°Tell me about it...¡± Crile drags himself to the table, sighing. ¡°Dinner?¡± ¡°Pass.¡± ¡°Drink?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± He waves. I set two mugs down and pour. I sit down too. ¡°How is Laira?¡± ¡°The same.¡± Crile takes a sip. ¡°She scares me sometimes. It''s been over a year now and still I never know if she''ll jump out the window or tear a book apart. It''s terrifying, seeing her like this...¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± I take a sip myself. ¡°I hate this.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°The hell ya mean WHY? Cause! Laira''s like my little sister! It hurts me too when she''s like this!¡± His disgusted tone tells me everything I need to know about the boy. ¡°Now you know what love looks like.¡± I tell him. He shakes his head. ¡°If that is what love does to someone then pass.¡± He tilts his head back with a huge gulp. I fill his mug up again. ¡°So you''re saying you''d be better off never knowing Zarri?¡± I mock him. ¡°That''s not what I said.¡± He glares at me. I smile. ¡°It''s not love that breaks the person... It''s the losing of it, right?¡± ¡°Correct.¡± I nod. He doesn''t say anything back, just stares at nothing. ¡°Like, I don''t even know what she''s thinking!¡± He throws his hands into the air. ¡°It''s like her mind is blank and her body just moves by itself! I never know what can happen next with her!¡± He blurs it all out quickly. Crile lowers his hands back down. ¡°Worse part is - I don''t think that anything we do is making it any better for her...¡± ¡°Course not.¡± I see the look aimed at me. I take another drink. ¡°I don''t think she''d even brush her hair, let alone bathe if the girls didn''t do it for her. She''s like a...¡± ¡°A rag doll?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Crile stares at me again. I keep my eyes locked on the wall in front of me. ¡°Is there a word for what Laira''s going through?¡± ¡°Pain.¡± I look to him. ¡°Her soul is hurting. It''s not something that heals easy.¡± I tell the kid blunt. He lowers his gaze. I sigh. ¡°People say it takes time for one to come back from what Laira is feeling.¡± I twirl the liquor in the mug a little. ¡°Personally, I don''t believe that.¡± I drain the mug. Crile pours me a drink. ¡°What do you believe then?¡± ¡°Effort. It''s gonna take Laira some effort to come back from that darkness.¡± ¡°Is there anything we can do to help her?¡± ¡°Yeah. Keep doing what you have been. She can''t come back if she''s dead. Her parents wouldn''t want her dead at the age of nine.¡± ¡°How do you know that? ¡° ¡°No parent wants that for their child. Not the kind that love them more than life.¡± I drain the mug again. ¡°Night, kiddo. Keep up the good work.¡± I tap him on the shoulder, as I get off the chair. ¡°Stay strong.¡± ¡°''kay. Rest well...¡± ¡°You too.¡± ¡°I wish to join the Army.¡± Zarri announces to me. ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I want to know more about how our people live.¡± ¡°And is joining the local Army is the answer to that?¡± I stare at my daughter. ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°Don''t you already know everything there is to know? What could you gain by entering now?¡± ¡°Information. It''s not about what I can get out of this, it''s about knowing more what''s on the other side of these walls.¡± ¡°Like running off on your own all these years was not enough!¡± ¡°This is different!¡± Zarri persists. ¡°How?¡± ¡°It just is! Why must I justify myself to you! I said I''m doing this and that''s that!¡± She glares at me. ¡°What about Laira?¡± ¡°It''s been almost three years since then. She''s been great, now that her powers have awakened. I mean, she''s been training under you for the past six months.¡± I sigh. ¡°Fine. Fine. Do as you wish.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Zarri bows to me and leaves. ¡°Treasure! One thing, though.¡± Zarri turns around to me. ¡°Be safe. Please.¡± ¡°Sure.¡± She nods. ¡°It''s not a bad idea for her to do it, you know.¡± Ira speaks to me from the shadows. ¡°Sure. Because having my daughter used as a punching bag or worse, is something I look forward to witnessing.¡± ¡°What makes you think that will happen? From what I''ve seen she''s more than capable.¡± ¡°It doesn''t matter!¡± I slam my hands on the table, standing up. ¡°I see. If she hides her status, she''ll be a punching bag, if she doesn''t - she''ll be right back where she started. You want her to experience life, but you can''t handle seeing her get hurt still.¡± ¡°Saw right through me...¡± I mumble, pouting... ¡°Have a bit of faith in her, Devona.¡± ¡°It''s not her I don''t trust... She''s already gotten hurt both times, when they didn''t know who she was and because she''s the Heir...¡± ¡°Don''t worry. We''ll make sure that does not happen again.¡± A swarm of Ira''s shadows emerge in the Throne Hall. ¡°Least while she''s between the walls of the Army.¡± He adds and the guards vanish again. ¡°Oh, and I''m the one who''s overreacting?¡± I mock Ira. ¡°Like you said - it''s not her I don''t trust.¡± 14. The Fear and the Rant ¡°Ira! A word. Please.¡± Laira catches me on my way out the Palace. ¡°Sure. Something on your mind?¡± ¡°I want you to train me.¡± She tells flat out. I blink a few times to let it sink in. ¡°Aren¡¯t you studying with Devona?¡± ¡°I want to train. Like the rest of them.¡± She speaks firm. I look her over, head to toe. ¡°Why me? You can ask anyone from the Palace to train you." ¡°Cause.¡± Laira holds her glare, but not her words. I sigh. ¡°Don¡¯t expect me to go easy on you. We''ll start tomorrow after your lessons with the Priestess. Is that acceptable?¡± ¡°Yes! Thank you.¡± She bows quickly. ¡°Ok then.¡± I nod and walk away. Well now. That was unexpected. ¡°Yo. Got a minute?¡± ¡°Oh? Two for two. To what do I owe the honor?¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± I can feel Crile rolling his eyes at me. I smile. ¡°Just letting ya know everything¡¯s cool on our end.¡± ¡°How is she doing?¡± ¡°Kicking ass. Too bad nobody is willing to challenge her. It''s difficult to hide a Cornutese for a best friend...¡± ¡°That''s why you¡¯re there.¡± ¡°Yeah yeah. I know. Her personal punching bag. Anything new happen? Or whatever.¡± ¡°Actually, Laira just asked me to train her.¡± Silence. ¡°Crile?¡± ¡°Tell me you said no.¡± ¡°I said yes. Least this way I''ll be able to keep an eye on her around weapons.¡± ¡°And when you¡¯re not there?¡± ¡°I''m not an idiot. Between me and Devona watching her, while you three are gone ¨C I¡¯m confident we can manage. Unlike you three - she actually stays put. Besides, everyone here knows her condition. We''re handling her so far.¡± ¡°In other words - you do regular sweeps of her room and things...¡± ¡°Exactly. Like I said - we''re handling her.¡± A long pause. ¡°If you say so.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t seem too convinced there?¡± ¡°I¡¯m allowed to worry!¡± I smile. ¡°Sure sure.¡± ¡°Gotta go. Later.¡± ¡°Later.¡± I knock on the Stable door and step inside. ¡°Hey. How are you holding up?¡± Emerald lifts her head to me. ¡°Bored without her yet?¡± I tease her. She lets out a quiet growl at me. ¡°You sure you don''t want to go for a walk or something?¡± A louder growl with teeth. ¡°Ok then. Have it your way.¡± I nod to the giant cat and leave. ¡°Priestess! The Heir! She!¡± A soldier pants in the middle of the hall. ¡°What. Speak!¡± ¡°She ran off.¡± ¡°And? This isn¡¯t the first time she''s done this.¡± ¡°This is the reason why.¡± He walks over to me and hands me a piece of paper. I read it: There have been sightings of a band of Balli Bandits... ¡°They can¡¯t possibly be the same ones?¡± ¡°We don''t know. We were going to investigate when someone spotted the Saber dashing off into the direction of...¡± I don¡¯t stick around to hear the end of that sentence. I march straight to Zarri''s room. I find Amana there, biting her nails off. She freezes up instantly. ¡°Where is she?¡± No answer. ¡°Amana. I asked you a question. Do not make me repeat myself.¡± She clenches her lips and fists. ¡°So be it. I may not be your parent, but I shall deal with you later.¡± I leave the girl behind. Ira pops up from around the corner next. ¡°I just heard. You can¡¯t be sure she rushed over there. She''s impulsive, she might have simply¨C¡° ¡°SIMPLY WHAT! Gone for a ride?¡± I glare at the man. ¡°I''m not about to take any chances here. CRILE!!¡± I thunder down. ¡°SHOW YOURSELF!! I know you¡¯re there.¡± ¡°Priestess.¡± The kid slithers out of the pool of darkness. ¡°Gather up whoever is willing to be punished later and get me my daughter back alive. If the intel is right - eliminate them. Do not leave a trace behind.¡± Crile holds my stare well. ¡°And if not?¡± ¡°Then the ones who chose to go will have wasted a few hours of their lives and nothing more. Either way. I want her back here NOW!¡± ¡°Understood.¡± He nods. ¡°Crile.¡± I stop him the last second. ¡°Be prepared to face the consequences once you return.¡± Another nod and the kid vanishes. ¡°So, this is what you chose? To get involved without getting involved?¡± ¡°This;¡± I show him the damned note; ¡°is not nearly enough for anything. On the off chance these are the remnants of the same scum I''d rather be a hypocrite than a vengeful spirit. We can¡¯t use our past as an excuse to slaughter every petty thief that steals a single apple.¡± ¡°So you do want revenge, just gonna pretend like you don¡¯t?¡± ¡°Yes. I displayed my ruthlessness plenty of times already. To the outside and for our people. If we want to keep the Treaty and His legacy alive - I can¡¯t go off on a killing spree each time something doesn¡¯t feel right.¡± ¡°So you''ll give our people the satisfaction of revenge, but still punish them for it?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I stop and stare and Ira. ¡°Why send the kiddo? Why not me?¡± He waits a moment. ¡°Ah. Right. This way you can write it off as a childish mistake, cause if I had gotten involved and we turn out to be wrong, about this;¡± he holds the note up with his index and middle fingers; ¡°it would have sent a wrong message to the Balli, making it look like we''re discriminating against them. Or perhaps even hold a ¡°grudge¡± of sorts, which would have given the Cornutese the perfect excuse to chop the Treaty in half, since they are too full of themselves to admit how much good it does to their land. Being the brats that they are - they will jump at the first signs of trouble to start trouble for no reason, so to prevent that - Crile and the silent order was your answer.¡± He looks at me for another moment. ¡°That ruthlessness you¡¯ve mentioned ¨C that was all using outside trouble, never our own people, except for that one time¡­ Riiiiight, now I see it ¨C you want this to be a message about her too. You want the world to know that the next ruler is not afraid to act, however, if the situation is not in our favor she¡¯ll just look like a loose cannon, hence why you told the kid to be prepared for punishment. The world needs to know that she¡¯s growing up to be a formidable opponent in case of trouble, yet you also need to show them that you are in charge still, and what better way to do that than by punishing your own daughter...¡± ¡°Yes. One other reason too.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°This will prove it to me that he does truly love her.¡± I hold my gaze on Ira''s face. He smiles and chuckles silently. ¡°For what''s it worth, I hope this;¡± he shows me the note again; ¡°is right.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Cause she needs this. She needs this more than you or I.¡± He whispers and walks away from me. ¡°Where are you going now?¡± I call out. ¡°To pretend to be outraged at the level of insubordination.¡± ¡°Good idea.¡± I mutter to myself. I lock myself inside my room. I stay up all night waiting for the news. I pray to Wykren to keep her safe... She''s so much like him... She cares too much... I fall asleep at the first signs of dawn... A knock wakes me up. It''s well passed noon... ¡°Priestess? They''ve returned...¡± A muffled voice announces. ¡°Gather the idiots by the statue. I''ll be there in a minute.¡± I answer and change. I stare at my reflection in the mirror... I¡¯m about to do something I''ll regret and my soul aches for it already. The stone-cold mask creeps onto my face. I straighten out and leave the room. I get out on the balcony above the front entrance. To my surprise, about half of our army is gathered down there with Zarri and Crile in front of them. Amana and her parents are here too... Emerald lays behind Zarri. My daughter stands there, covered in blood... Oh my sweet child... Forgive me for what I am about to do... I take in a lungful of air and... ¡°MORONS! ALL OF YOU!! Have you no shame! No sense of respect or responsibility! Your actions of last night can be trialed for treason! What do you have to say for yourselves!?¡± The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°Priestess.¡± Zarri steps forward and kneels. ¡°I understand your disappointment, but in my defense, in all of our defense - it was the right call to make.¡± ¡°Based on?¡± ¡°I was recognized.¡± Zarri stands up and looks right at me. ¡°The image of my Father was recognized. That was all I needed to confirm the suspicions. If that is not enough then take her word for it.¡± Emerald stands up, walks over to Zarri and sits down next to her. ¡°She is the only living witness. She was able to identify the survivors too. I trust her judgment. I have no regrets.¡± I watch my daughter take a stand like that and can¡¯t help, but feel proud. And yet... I sigh. ¡°Even more so why you are a bunch of idiots! Do you honestly think that your late King would want to have his people putting themselves in danger for his sake! Is that how little you think of him! Is this the only way you know how to show your respect for him? Blood and death!?¡± I pause. ¡°Your King did everything he possibly could to secure a peaceful life for our future and killing was not the right way to do it!!¡± Some of the fighters lower their heads. It''s difficult for me to be angry when I feel so relieved... I carry on with my rant. ¡°I hope you are satisfied with yourselves, because your idiocy has caused you 30 days in the dungeon!!¡± ¡°Priestess!¡± Crile steps forward. ¡°I was the one to take the fighters! I lied about the order given by Shadowkill! Punish me, not them!¡± He throws his hand behind him. ¡°Even better!¡± I clap my hands once, right next to my face. ¡°This means that their idiocy is validated! Because none of you questioned the validity of the orders given to you by a mere brat!!¡± I smash my hands down on the marble railings. ¡°Then punish me alone! None of this would have happened if¨C¡° ¡°EXACTLY WHY THIS MAKES IT EVEN WORSE!!!¡± I shriek the words out. ¡°You acted on pure impulse! Zero thinking! No rationale whatsoever!!¡± I keep my eyes locked with my daughter in a painful staring contest. She counters it well. I keep going. ¡°YOU GAMBLED AND YOU WON!!! THAT IS THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE UNDER THE FALLS IMPRESSION THAT YOU WERE RIGHT TO ACT THE WAY YOU DID!!!¡± I scream loud enough for everyone to hear... ¡°THAT is the only reason WHY you think the situation is validated. That is why you think that ALL OF YOUR ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED!!!¡± I smash my hands down again. ¡°As someone of your status and title you should have enough brain cells to comprehend that your actions could have meant the destruction of this nation. You should have been able to realize the kind of international incident your decision would lead to IF YOU WERE WRONG. You should have dealt with the situation at hand through proper channels, YET YOU DID NONE OF THAT!!!¡± I clench the cold marble. ¡°So. What part of the word idiocy, escapes your understanding?¡± I throw one last glare. Zarri does not even so much as blink. I straighten out and try to get my emotions down again. ¡°You are not even aware of the influence you have on your environment.¡± I speak to my daughter. ¡°Perhaps now you will.¡± I raise my head and my voice again. ¡°To the ones who participated in this atrocity - as said before ¨C 30 days in the dungeon. Don¡¯t worry. All of you shall be accommodated.¡± I pause. No backlash. Yet. I continue. ¡°To the Shadowkill imposter ¨C 10 days in the Underground Maze - the deepest level.¡± The kid nods and Zarri tightens her fists. ¡°To Gazarria Stardust - a 100 days with the newest recruits. Double the work, half the rations.¡± And my heart sinks to my heels... ¡°As you wish, my Queen.¡± She bows to me. ¡°Punish me too then!¡± Amana jumps up front. Her parents fail to stop her... I sigh. ¡°As much as I''d like to ignore the fact that you are not of Noxian descent - I cannot. However.¡± I take a quick glance at Ella and Sharden. ¡°Being associated with the Heir does make you an accessory, especially since you willingly chose to withhold information from me when confronted directly. That alone could be enough to trial you for treason. If you were a Noxian.¡± I add quickly. ¡°30 days of home arrest should suffice. Guards will be stationed around the perimeter to make sure you stay put.¡± I notice the nodding parents. ¡°Understood.¡± Amana nods to me as well. ¡°Now then. Last one.¡± I look behind Zarri. ¡°To Emerald Stardust ¨C 100 days in solitary confinement.¡± I pause a moment. ¡°Any objections?¡± No answer. ¡°Dismissed.¡± I hide in the shadows near the entrance to the balcony. Devona has gone on a rant fitting a mother and a queen... She finishes with her punishments and walks away from the crowd. ¡°Double the work and half the rations? Really?¡± ¡°Do you hate me now?¡± She doesn¡¯t turn around. She barely graces me with a corner of her eye. I walk up to her and take a good look at her. Yeah. There it is. The pain is back... I sigh. ¡°Nobody hates you more right now than you hate yourself. That''s punishment enough for you.¡± ¡°Oh, don''t worry. I''m just getting started...¡± She grins like a lunatic at me and walks away. I grab her hand. ¡°Do not try something stupid again. She''s not ready to take over. You will stay alive until she is good and ready to stand at the top. Is that clear, woman?¡± ¡°What must I do around here for you to let me die already?¡± Now I grin like a lunatic. ¡°Unless you are willing to kill her with your own hands ¨C you¡¯re staying alive. Like I said ¨C that¡¯s punishment enough for you.¡± I let her go and leave through the shadows. Gotta make sure the kid''s ok with this... I find him packing his bag in his room. ¡°You could have protested.¡± I tell him. ¡°To have the Priestess deny it all and risk looking like a total moron?¡± He keeps shoving things inside the bag. ¡°Because this is ¡°so much¡± better?¡± No answer. ¡°Crile.¡± ¡°What?¡± He turns around. His eyes... Least he''s determined... ¡°Reach for me if you need help down there. Punishment is one thing. No need to die for it.¡± ¡°Really? Cause it sure seems like that''s the plan.¡± He continues with his packing. ¡°If Devona wanted you dead - you¡¯d be that right now. She chose a punishment well suited for your abilities. All four of you." The kid looks at me again. "The Maze is a good way for you to increase your senses, since the idea of it is to mimic the Shadow Realm. Amana gets 30 days sitting at home to focus on her studies again, probably to push her to work harder for Zarri''s sake...¡± ¡°And her? How is sending Breeze through the wringer is doing her any favors?¡± ¡°Stamina. The stronger her body - the stronger her magic. She needs it to be able to sustain her shifts. A weak body makes for poor shifts. If she can find a way to overcome it - it might save her life one day.¡± Crile turns his whole body to me. ¡°Damn hope you¡¯re right." He throws his bag on his shoulder. ¡°See ya in ten days.¡± ¡°Stay strong.¡± I pat his shoulder. ¡°Survive.¡± We exchange glances and Crile leaves the hut. Things would be so much different if he were here... ¡°What am supposed to do with her?¡± I whisper on day 50 of Zarri¡¯s punishment¡­ ¡°You really want me to answer that?¡± Ira answers behind me. I glance at him over my shoulder. ¡°You won¡¯t like it.¡± He tells me. ¡°I¡¯m not enjoying this either...¡± ¡°Set her free.¡± I hear the words. I turn around and stare. Ira shrugs his shoulders. ¡°Told you, you won¡¯t like it.¡± ¡°That''s not it.¡± I keep staring. ¡°I fail to understand how she isn¡¯t free? She''s been doing all she wishes half her life.¡± ¡°Is that how you see it?¡± ¡°I take it you have a different perspective?¡± I mock the man now. ¡°She will never be free as long as she''s "the Heir." Ira walks over closer to me and locks his gaze over my shoulder. ¡°She''s a lost soul trying to find herself. She struggles to be herself because she doesn''t know which herself she is allowed to be.¡± I see a hint of sadness in Ira''s eyes. I turn around again and watch my daughter undergo the grueling training while being starved... All under my orders... ¡°She''s not the only one who''s struggling to be herself...¡± The skin on my face feels wet. Tears. ¡°That''s why you have to let her go. Neither one of you will be happy this way, ever. She finds her responsibilities boring right now. Which only means she''s not ready for this. You are struggling between being a Mother and a Queen. Especially now that she''s already twenty years old. Though, by our standards that''s a child still... You can''t go easy on her because that would give the people the idea that our Royalty can get away with anything, which could cause backlash.¡± Ira takes a moment. I don¡¯t argue. He continues. ¡°Of course, punishing her like that, just to prove a point is hurting you more than her, because it''s the last thing you wish to do to her.¡± ¡°How perceptive of you.¡± I mumble, biting my lower lip. ¡°That''s exactly why you need to set her free. For her sake and yours. Neither one of you will be happy if you''ll force the two of you to keep being something you¡¯re not.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to lose her... She''s all I have...¡± ¡°And yet you will lose her if you keep this up...¡± I feel a light touch on my shoulder. ¡°It''s time.¡± I nod silently and quickly wipe my eyes away. I hear the light footsteps behind me. ¡°Ira.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± I turn around again. ¡°Why haven¡¯t you told me you love me ever since then again?¡± He doesn¡¯t turn around. ¡°You overestimate my frail heart. Once was more than I could handle saying it out loud.¡± He moves a step forward and stops. "Besides. You haven¡¯t stopped loving him, have you?¡± He looks over at me, with the corner of his eye. I smile at him and he walks away. Leaving the idiot me with my aching heart. I take one last look at my girl. ¡°Must I see her go too, my dear?¡± I ask nobody... I mull over my decision a few more times before knocking on the door. The chatter inside dies down. It''s been five days since she returned and all five of them haven''t left the room since... Amana cracks the door open. ¡°Guys. We need to go now.¡± She tells Crile and Laira, as she looks at me, stepping aside. The others get up to leave. I hold my hand out. ¡°It''s fine. This won''t take long.¡± I smile briefly. ¡°I''m sorry I didn''t come to greet you earlier. I figured you must hate me for what I did.¡± I sit down on the pillow pile, in front of my daughter. I see the confusion in her eyes. She tries to speak, but I cut her off. ¡°I have no idea what to do with you. And before you say anything, I need you to know that I do not take pride in any of the events...¡± ¡°It was only fair.¡± She tells me. ¡°You did what had to be done. I don¡¯t hate you, Mom.¡± She puts her hands on mine. I barely manage a sad smile. This is tougher than I thought... I¡¯m so afraid¡­ ¡°Gazarria, I understand only one thing. I am not fit to be your friend, nor am I happy to ¡°rule¡± you. I need to accept the simple fact that I am, and always will be only a single thing to you - your mother.¡± I gently place my palms on my girl. ¡°And as such, as much as it pains me to say this, I have decided to set you free, my Treasure.¡± I hold my daughter''s face in my hands. ¡°You can leave here if you wish it so. I realize that I cannot, nor should I try and contain you any longer. Neither one of us will be happy from that. So.¡± I take a breath and... ¡°Be free and be well. Astri will always be your home.¡± I kiss her on the forehead with tears running down my face. ¡°And I will always love you, my Child, whatever you do, wherever you go...¡± I whisper to her, as I lightly nuzzle her for the last time... ¡°I''m not kicking you out, if that''s what you¡¯re thinking right now.¡± I crack a smile and get up with the last of my strength. ¡°I''ll wait for your decision. Take your time.¡± I take a good look at Emerald, Amana and Crile. ¡°I leave her in your capable hands.¡± I bow to them three and hold it for a moment. Next, I take a look at Laira. Her emotions are in full swing on her face and body. She clenches her robe harder and shakes her little head to me. I pat her head and leave the room. Ira''s shadow speaks to me as soon as I close the door behind me. ¡°That took guts to say it out loud without getting hysterical.¡± ¡°That''s why I made it short and simple.¡± I keep walking. ¡°Or you simply ran before she could answer you, since you purposely chose to ambush her.¡± He says. I stop and turn around. ¡°What do you want with me right now?¡± ¡°I want to make sure you won¡¯t go back on your word once she tells you tomorrow morning she''s leaving.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t. Is that all?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°For the love of... What! I set her free just like you said I should! What else do you want from me!!¡± I bite my lip again. ¡°I want you to not break down again after she leaves just like you have already multiple times before! That self-loathing habit of yours is getting on my nerves!!¡± Ira glares at me. I can¡¯t even tell what kind of a glare that is anymore... ¡°If you¡¯re tired - feel free to take a vacation. It worked well for you the last time.¡± I walk away from him. I feel something grab my arm and twist it. ¡°Do. Not. Mock. Me. Woman.¡± He growls the words out and lets go. ¡°Do as you wish, Priestess.¡± He bows and disappears. Three days later Zarri and the rest leave Astri. Leaving Laira and I weeping quietly in each other¡¯s arms. I seal off the Palace and the surrounding area for about half the city... As far as the outside world is concerned - Noxanda has a single ¡°Priestess¡± and nothing more... 15. Sorrow after Sorrow ¡°Have you heard the news?¡± Ira asks me. ¡°Which ones?¡± ¡°They finally reached Araneum.¡± ¡°Oh? Have they now?¡± Only took them two years¡­ ¡°Apparently Zarri made quite the impression on their King.¡± ¡°Good for her.¡± I mumble. ¡°Geez, woman, could you be any more indifferent?¡± I drop the feather. ¡°What exactly do you except me to say here?¡± I stare at the man. ¡°I¡¯ve never been there. I don¡¯t know anything. I can¡¯t even decide if I should be happy for her or concerned. I let her go. What else can I do for her from over here? Tell me, please.¡± I keep staring at Ira. I¡¯m not kidding. I seriously don¡¯t know what to do¡­ ¡°Be happy for her. She¡¯s learning more about the world this way. The knowledge and experience she gathers out there, might just benefit our people one day too.¡± ¡°Might. Ira. Or it might not. If she chooses to never come back. And why would she! She¡¯s been miserable for twenty years while she was stuck here!¡± I cover my face again. ¡°Suddenly you have places to be?¡± Ira mocks me. I glare at him. ¡°Am I not allowed to have a life?¡± ¡°No. Your life ended when she was born.¡± He tells me flat out. ¡°Now you can only wait for her to give you your life back once she decides how she wants to live hers.¡± ¡°What exactly is she doing now, then, huh?¡± ¡°She¡¯s looking for it. She¡¯s a lost soul. She needs to find herself before she can do anything.¡± ¡°And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?¡± I rest my cheek on my knuckles. ¡°Be happy for her.¡± Ira tells me and slithers away into the shadows. I sigh. ¡°This sucks! My arms are about to fall off!¡± She jumps down from the bar. ¡°Haven¡¯t we covered all of this already?¡± ¡°Lairy.¡± She throws me a look. ¡°Fighting isn''t easy. You need to keep increasing your stamina and strength to perform better. If you want to fight, you can¡¯t stop building your body. Now, it doesn¡¯t mean you need to bulk up, but you do need to stay in shape. Especially as you grow more. You need to keep up with your own body before you can keep up with them.¡± I pet her on the head. ¡°I hate this...¡± ¡°So did I. I still do.¡± ¡°Oh please. Spare me.¡± She mutters. I chuckle. ¡°I see Zarri''s foul habits rubbed off on you.¡± ¡°I miss them...¡± ¡°Me too.¡± I crouch down. Laira hugs my neck. ¡°Wanna take a break and try again?¡± ¡°¡®Kay.¡± ¡°Okay. Do as many as you can and leave it at that. Do the same amount tomorrow too. Repeat till you can do this easily. Add three pull ups more to that. Repeat. Take your time, Lairy. No need to rush.¡± ¡°If you say so.¡± She lets go and tries again. I barely remember my fighting days at this point... An assassin turned babysitter... Am I supposed to take this as a promotion or a demotion? I smile to myself. The Great Shadowkill my ass... Well. On the other hand... Maybe it''s not so bad to have a legacy... Even if it''s skills and knowledge that I have to offer only... Laira''s arms give out and she falls. I catch her. ¡°Thanks, Ira.¡± ¡°No problem.¡± I set her down. ¡°I think you had enough for today. Take tomorrow off if you want. You still have lessons with Devona.¡± ¡°I already learned what I could from the books... There isn''t much to do these days... It''s the practice I''m bad at...¡± ¡°What kind is that?¡± ¡°Surgery... I can¡¯t cut... Miss Devona said I need to get used to the knife first before I can practice with my Vines. She said it would make it easier for me later¡­¡± ¡°What is it about that that you¡¯re most uncomfortable with?¡± ¡°Pressing the knife into the skin... It feels so cold and scary...¡± ¡°You won¡¯t get anywhere far as a healer this way...¡± I tell her and add. ¡°Sorry, Lairy.¡± She shakes her head. ¡°I know. I just...¡± ¡°Are you afraid of blood?¡± ¡°No. Just the knife...¡± ¡°I see.¡± I take a moment. ¡°Well, I''m sure we can figure something out.¡± ¡°How¡¯s Laira, by the way?¡± ¡°How unusual for you to avoid the subject.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not avoiding anything. I¡¯m her guardian ¨C I¡¯m interested in her training.¡± ¡°She''s struggling. She''s not cut out for fighting.¡± ¡°Good.¡± ¡°I said she''s struggling.¡± I lean in closer. ¡°I didn¡¯t say she''s not good at it.¡± Devona looks at me this time. ¡°She''s not cut out for it because she doesn¡¯t like killing or the idea of hurting someone. She struggles with it. She pushes herself to overcome it, but she can¡¯t hide it completely. Not from me.¡± ¡°I see. That explains it...¡± I wait a moment. ¡°Care to elaborate?¡± I lean against the desk with my lower back. ¡°She was struggling when practicing surgery, so, I had her work on her Mixology instead, and yet lately she has been more focused on surgery... I figured it was because it''s been what? Five years now since she''s been studying with me. I figured she simply got over her fears as she¡¯s gotten a bit older, but I guess your training has made an impact on her instead.¡± She pauses. ¡°What are you training her with right now?¡± ¡°Her Vines. I''m not giving her any weapons, yet. Although if this works - her Vines will be her weapon.¡± Devona looks at me again. With a hint of horror this time. ¡°Don¡¯t give me that look. I¡¯m working on containing her. You said it yourself - her practical skills are improving. If my idea works - she''ll be fine.¡± ¡°If being the key word here.¡± Devona stares at me for a moment longer. ¡°She''s not stupid. She misses them, she wants to go with them, but she knows she can¡¯t. She''s too weak and useless. She''s giving it her all because she wants to leave here too.¡± ¡°Which makes me oh-so-nervous even more.¡± ¡°Kids leave their nests eventually.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t remind me.¡± Devona stops scribbling. ¡°Have you heard anything from them?¡± ¡°You mean if Crile said anything that we should be worried about?¡± She flinches. I smile. ¡°No. She''s perfectly fine and happy. She seems to enjoy her freedom to the fullest.¡± ¡°Good.¡± And the Queen goes back to her scribbles. I can¡¯t resist and lean in again. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°You can admit you miss her, you know. You''re only human.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that what got me in trouble with you the first few times?¡± ¡°Breaking down and admit one¡¯s weakness are two different things.¡± I tell her quietly and leave. ¡°Did you hear!¡± Laira comes running to me. ¡°They found dragons! I¡¯ve never seen one!¡± It''s been four years now since they left. ¡°Yes, I heard. Crile told me a few days ago.¡± I smile at the girl. ¡°I wish I could be there!¡± She pouts. ¡°Well, keep your training up like that and you just might.¡± I pat her head again. ¡°Fine... What is it today?¡± ¡°This.¡± I give her the knives. She picks one up. ¡°What''s with the weird shape?¡± ¡°I figured they would suit you better. If you don¡¯t want to use your Vines for battle, then you can use this. I made them to fit you.¡± I show her the "belt." ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you have to use them. Try them out and see how you like them. I won¡¯t get mad if they don¡¯t feel right for you, ok?¡± I tell Laira just in case. ¡°Ok. I''ll try.¡± She seems focused. Good enough. ¡°How do I put this on?¡± And she immediately gets lost. ¡°Here.¡± I take it from her and strap her in. "You can use these here to adjust the tightness." ¡°It looks kinda bulky.¡± ¡°I¡¯m working on that. This is just a rough draft for you to test. If you chose to work with them, we might need to come up with a whole new type of gear for you.¡± ¡°Cool!¡± She smiles. Such a bright smile for someone covered in knives. ¡°Anyhow, let¡¯s not get ahead of ourselves. Give it a spin.¡± ¡°Ok!¡± She drops into a stance. ¡°How do I do that?¡± I let out a laugh. ¡°The same way you''ve been practicing your Vines.¡± ¡°Oh!¡± She straightens out and gets the knives out. ¡°Is she insane!¡± I pace around the Hall. ¡°Of all the IDIOTIC THINGS!!¡± Eight¡­ Eight years she¡¯s been gone¡­ ¡°It''s her life. Let her be.¡± ¡°She WON¡¯T HAVE A LIFE IF SHE GOES THROUGH WITH IT!!!¡± The Palace rings from my hysteria... ¡°Have faith in her.¡± ¡°SPARE ME!!! IT''S NOT YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD GOING TO HER DEATH!!¡± ¡°I LOVE HER JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!¡± Ira flares up. ¡°I LOVE ALL OF THEM AS MY OWN!! I AM HURTING JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ARE, SO SAVE ME THE SINGLE MOTHER ACT!!¡± His rage seeps out of him. ¡°Laira''s hurting too, you know! You''re not the only victim here! All three of them decided to join the Rebirth! You can¡¯t single her out...¡± He keeps his glare on me... Sometimes I forget that he raised them too... ¡°Is this a bad time?¡± A voice reaches us. I turn. ¡°Oh. Never for the two of you.¡± I approach the couple. ¡°I take it you heard?¡± Sharden and Ella nod. ¡°Yes.¡± I lower my head to them. ¡°I am soo, soo, soooo sorry for having my idiot daughter drag your girl into such a mess... And after everything Amana has done for her...¡± ¡°Our daughter is as stubborn as any Cornutese.¡± Sharden says. ¡°It doesn¡¯t surprise me...¡± ¡°We simply couldn¡¯t sit at home anymore...¡± Ella darts her eyes around... ¡°Neither can I, as you can tell.¡± I smile briefly. ¡°If you like you can stay here. Perhaps it would be easier for all of us to wait this out together.¡± Ira steps forward. ¡°Oh, I...¡± ¡°It''s no trouble.¡± I agree. ¡°It''s not much, but feel free to stick around. Heavens know I will go insane if I keep this bottled up.¡± I try to joke. ¡°Least feel free to stop by whenever.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Ella takes my hands into hers. ¡°I feel better knowing I am not the only one upset with my child.¡± She tries to giggle too. ¡°Tell me about it...¡± Sharden mumbles. I laugh a little there. Crile returns to us about a year after the great tragedy of the Rebirth. I am still not able to breathe right... Ira has lost half his weight too... Sharden and Ella have been in mourning, and nobody has seen them since the day we got the news... I stare at the shadow of the man in front of me that is the remnants of Crile Shadowkill... ¡°I failed. I failed them both... I don''t even know where she is... Emerald and Storm are gone too... I...¡± I gaze softly upon the boy... Is this how he''s lived this past year? I step down and walk over closer to Crile. His eyes are dead. There''s not even a glimmer of life left in there... ¡°Sweet child...¡± I put my arms around the boy and hold him gently... Why is it so painful to see him like this? Suddenly my pain seems so meager... Right... How could I forget... She is to him what you, my dear, are to me... I know this feeling... I know this look... I know the torture that life is without your mate next to you... And yet I have no words to offer to ease his pain... ¡°You PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN!!!¡± I ram my foot right in the kid''s gut and send him flying. I tried to hold back. I did. I tried not to blame him... I did... ¡°HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN!!!¡± I hammer in another round house to the ribs. ¡°I TRUSTED you!!¡± I land an axe kick next, right between the shoulders. Crile flops face down into dirt. ¡°I believed in YOU!!¡± He tries to get up, spitting blood. ¡°I ASKED YOU IF YOU COULD HANDLE IT!!¡± I grab the kid, pick him up and smash him against the stone wall. ¡°YOU promised me you¡¯d LOOK AFTER HER!!!¡± I roar in his face. ¡°I DID!! I NEVER LEFT HER SIDE!! I WAS THERE FOR HER EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!!¡± Crile finally pushes me off himself. ¡°I DIDN¡¯T!! I WOULD HAVE NEVER!! I...¡± He chokes. ¡°I thought it was her...¡± He whispers. ¡°She was her... The scent, the feeling... I... I...¡± Something isn''t right... ¡°What happened?¡± He doesn¡¯t answer. ¡°Crile. What really happened?¡± His shoulders twitch. ¡°Like you care. Weren¡¯t you going to kill me just now?¡± ¡°Idiot. Just because I wanna kick your ass, doesn¡¯t mean I stopped caring for you like my son.¡± ¡°Son... Yeah... Right...¡± He sneers at me. ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t she your only Treasure?¡± He mocks me. ¡°She''s a national Treasure. You are my Treasure. Now stop being a bastard and tell me what really happened.¡± ¡°What does it matter...¡± ¡°It matters if you didn¡¯t mess up because you¡¯re just a plain idiot. Now spill before I change my mind and spill you instead. I¡¯m not a patient person. In case you forgot.¡± The kid slides down to the ground and starts talking. I listen to him carefully. Analyzing every detail... Eventually he chokes up on his own tears again... I sit down next to him and rest his head on my shoulder. ¡°It wasn''t your fault...¡± I tell the boy. ¡°I could have talked her out of it... I should have made Star stay behind...¡± ¡°You did what you had to... The three of you had a better chance if you stuck together...¡± ¡°Star''s dead because we stuck together...¡± ¡°But she isn¡¯t...¡± ¡°How do you know? Nobody¡¯s seen or heard from her in over a year¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. I choose to believe it.¡± I tell the kid. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because it''s better than the alternative...¡± I answer. ¡°Give me your Stone.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Numb the shoulder and dig it out. I wanna talk to her.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask the Priestess for it?¡± ¡°She won¡¯t answer that one.¡± ¡°Oh and mine she will?¡± Crile takes his shirt off, applies the spell and stabs himself into the shoulder. ¡°It''s buried in her body. If she hasn¡¯t thrown it away by now, it''s a good chance she keeps listening...¡± Crile places the bloody Lector Stone into my palm. ¡°Make it quick. I don¡¯t want to cut the close.¡± ¡°I can help with that.¡± I take the knife and stick it into the wound. ¡°SON OF A!!¡± He cries out. I clench the Stone. ¡°Gorgeous. It''s me. I don''t know if you''re hearing this, but if you are, I want you to know - I am here for you. I know you¡¯re hurting right now. It''s ok. Take your time. I''ll wait. No matter how long it takes. I''ll be right here, waiting to see you again. I''m always on your side, Gorgeous.¡± I look up at the sky. ¡°I will always welcome you with open arms. I will always love you, Cuteness. No matter how much time passes.¡± I haven¡¯t called her that since she was little... I take the blade out of the boy and place the Stone back underneath the skin. I take a vial next and get turned down. ¡°Leave it. I won¡¯t bleed out.¡± ¡°Suit yourself.¡± I put the potion back. ¡°What did you tell her?¡± ¡°The truth.¡± Crile stays silent for a full minute. ¡°Which is?¡± He rolls his hands around. ¡°That I will always be here for her and will love her even in death.¡± ¡°Right¡­¡± Crile whispers as his head sinks between his arms. ¡°You¡¯ll tell her the same each night too, if you¡¯re smart.¡± ¡°She never answers¡­ What¡¯s the point?¡± ¡°Did you suddenly stop loving her?¡± The kid takes too long to answer. ¡°Well?¡± I nudge him. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Then get off your ass and stay in shape. You¡¯ll need your strength once she comes back.¡± I stand up first and offer the boy my hand. ¡°Why don¡¯t you take your own advice there? You look worse than hell.¡± He takes it and gets up too. ¡°Smartass.¡± I ruff his hair up. Be well, Gorgeous¡­ 16. The Holes and the Gaps ¡°FIND HER!!!¡± I scream. ¡°BRING MY CHILD BACK TO ME!!!¡± I shriek again. ¡°INCREASE THE MANPOWER!! SPREAD FURTHER!! DRAG HER BACK FROM HELL IF YOU HAVE TO!!!¡± The guards don¡¯t even try to argue anymore. It''s been three years now. There hasn¡¯t been a single sign of her... I do believe she''s out there. She has to be... I try to get my breathing back in order and try to focus on work... Everything seems so meaningless now... All I have is complaints anyway... Lack of workers... Bite me. I shove the scrolls aside and cover my face... What am I supposed to do? ¡°Treasure. Please. Come home.¡± I try once more. ¡°Please.¡± I stare at the papers in front of me. ¡°Priestess.¡± I lift my head up. ¡°Laira? What is it?¡± ¡°I wish to leave Astri.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I want to go look for Zarri too. Please. Let me.¡± She bows to me. I get off the chair and go over to her. ¡°Look at me.¡± She lifts her head up again. I see the determination in her eyes... ¡°Must I let another child go?¡± She nods. ¡°They did so much for me when I needed someone the most... I want to help her too...¡± ¡°Sweet child, we don¡¯t even know if she''s...¡± ¡°No. I won¡¯t give up on her. I want to believe she is somewhere out there.¡± Laira holds my gaze. ¡°She is lost. Like I was.¡± ¡°We all are... We all have been...¡± ¡°I know. That''s why I want to go. It''s my turn to help her...¡± I am well aware there is no talking her out of it... I hug the girl to me. ¡°May the stars shine upon you... Be well.¡± I whisper. Laira nods and lets go. My heart cannot take much more of the sorrow... ¡°Was that wise?¡± A familiar cold whisper reaches me. ¡°When was the last time I did anything ¡°wise?¡± I answer trembling. ¡°Well, when you put it that way...¡± Ira disappears quietly again. ¡°Ira?¡± ¡°Well now. You sound terrible.¡± ¡°Save it. Tell me, have you heard anything about something called the Anti-Death league or whatnot?¡± What in the? ¡°No. Why?¡± ¡°Nothing.¡± ¡°Boy don¡¯t test me! What is it.¡± Crile takes his time to answer me. ¡°Breeze is getting a lot of heat for what happened with the Rebirth. Apparently, there are a lot of upset relatives of the Fallen Ones. I picked up on some rumors that there''s a faction that is looking for Breeze. They wanna bring her to justice for her crimes.¡± ¡°What crimes?¡± ¡°You tell me. Apparently, her being named the War Chieftain for the last Rebirth and all didn''t sit right with more than just the Council here.¡± ¡°Well good luck tracking her down. We haven¡¯t been able to find a trace of her yet.¡± It''s been five years now... ¡°Same here. Which makes me think, maybe she''s staying away on purpose?¡± ¡°You mean she thinks she''s a risk to us all, hence why the disappearance act?¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be too far-fetched?¡± ¡°No... It certainly wouldn¡¯t... Though I hope she''s not as stupid to honestly believe that.¡± I hear a muffled giggle. ¡°Oh, she is.¡± Crile says and I smile. ¡°How are you holding up?¡± I ask the kid. ¡°Like I¡¯m dead. Rather, I wish I was.¡± ¡°Lose hope yet?¡± ¡°No.¡± He answers sharp. Good. ¡°Time simply has slowed downed too much...¡± ¡°Yeah. That it did... Keep me posted.¡± ¡°Likewise.¡± ¡°Laira''s here. We just parted. I left her in the cabin. I haven''t set foot in there since it all happened... She''ll have a field day with it. Least it will keep her focused...¡± The boy tells me. ¡°How is she?¡± ¡°You should ask how I am. She gave me a good trashing. Your training paid off...¡± I chuckle to myself. ¡°Was there ever any doubt?¡± ¡°I''m not answering.¡± Crile mumbles. I chuckle some more. ¡°Well?¡± ¡°She''s beat up. She tried to retrace our steps on the way here. Hoping Breeze would be somewhere, but...¡± ¡°But of course, she didn''t find them.¡± ¡°Yeah. Anything from your end?¡± ¡°You would have heard from me if there were.¡± I answer a bit bitter. ¡°You?¡± ¡°Same.¡± A slight pause. ¡°I mean, how in the world does an entire Saber go missing without a trace!! Idiots! And they call themselves trackers... How''s the Priestess?¡± He adds there roughly. ¡°Made herself comfortable in her pit of despair, leaving me to run the country against my better judgment, again...¡± ¡°Yet you won''t abandon her.¡± ¡°Them.¡± ¡°Them. Right. Anyways. That''s all from me tonight.¡± ¡°Thanks for keeping in touch.¡± ¡°Sure. Night, Ira.¡± ¡°Night.¡± I stare into nothing for a good minute... ¡°Night, Cuteness...¡± The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Priestess, there''s someone here to see you...¡± A maiden announces. I groan under the blankets. It''s been six years now since the Rebirth happened and Zarri disappeared... I gave up on leading the country and left it all in Ira''s care. Again... ¡°Who is it?¡± I sit up. ¡°It''s us, Devona.¡± I recognize the voice. I throw everything off me and creep around the bed. They look ghostly... ¡°Apologies for my appearance.¡± I mutter bowing. ¡°Likewise.¡± Sharden nods. Ok. Now what? We stand there staring at each other. ¡°Has there been any news?¡± Ella asks me. I shake my head. She sighs and walks over to me. ¡°My condolences.¡± She hugs me. ¡°Least we know that our girl is really dead.¡± Huh? ¡°As much as it hurts, least I can take comfort in knowing for a fact... It must be terrible for you to be in the dark like that.¡± ¡°Yes...¡± I whisper through the silent tears. ¡°You''ll assume the worst, if you¡¯re smart.¡± Sharden bites at me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry we didn¡¯t come around sooner... It...¡± Ella tries again. I shake my head. ¡°I understand. I apologize for...¡± I break up... ¡°You know. I thought that the world had ended when I saw Crile at our door, handing over Amana''s things back to us, so we''d have something to bury... The poor child looked like he just crawled out of the depths of Hell...¡± Ella comforts me as she speaks softly... ¡°I didn¡¯t register the fact when it was happening and all Sharden could manage was to punch the boy.¡± She pauses. ¡°But he took it like a man and never said anything. He just curled up on his knees at our feet and apologized, without asking for forgiveness and walked away.¡± ¡°I never knew...¡± I admit. ¡°I¡¯m not surprised...¡± I feel Ella stroke my back gently. ¡°It took us sometime to accept the reality, but now that we have, it is the only thing keeping us sane...¡± She takes in a slow breath. ¡°Least now I can die in peace. Maybe I will see our girl again then.¡± She smiles at me. ¡°Unfortunately for you, you''ll have to suffer slowly till you see your girl again and knowing that gives me some satisfaction.¡± Ella lets me go. I see... So that''s my punishment... Very well... I bow my head to them again. They respond with a nod and leave. ¡°Have you heard?¡± Crile''s voice rings inside my mind. ¡°There''s some sort of disturbance happening in Rebellion. Something about massacres all over the place?¡± ¡°Yes. I believe I heard the whispers here and there. Didn¡¯t really catch my interest. There''s always bloodshed over there.¡± ¡°Yeah, but this is targeted slaughters. Slave traders and alike.¡± ¡°Oh? Has someone decided to clean house?¡± ¡°Who knows...¡± It hits me. ¡°You think it''s her?¡± A long pause. ¡°I did. At first.¡± ¡°Did? You don¡¯t anymore?¡± I put the feather down. ¡°Rumor has it it''s a winged creature or whatever.¡± ¡°Oh. Doesn''t sound like a feral cat.¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± I wait a little. "Did you want my approval to go there? See if it''s her or not?¡± ¡°No.¡± A sharp, hard answer. I smile. ¡°I have to go now.¡± ¡°Take care.¡± I go back to the mountain of reports... Hope you¡¯re ok, Gorgeous... ¡°THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!¡± Devona screams at me. ¡°I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LET HER GO!! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!¡± Her emotions are all over the place. I can''t blame her really... ¡°No. I said you''ll regret it if you miss her grow up. I never said she''d never leave you if you did.¡± ¡°SAME DIFFERENCE!!¡± No, it isn''t... ¡°WHY DID I EVER LISTEN TO YOU!!! WE¡¯RE NOT EVEN MARRIED!!!¡± ¡°WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL RAISING A CHILD FOR TWENTY YEARS TOGETHER THEN!!¡± A sound vaguely resembling my voice escapes my body. ¡°Do you think chaining her in the dungeon would have made her happier!! WHAT! TELL ME!!¡± I keep my eyes locked on her. ¡°WHAT WAS THE ALTERNATIVE HERE, EXACTLY!!!¡± No answer. The years of pent-up sadness, hopelessness and putting up appearances take hold of me. ¡°ALL YOU EVER WANTED FOR HER WAS TO BE SAFE AND NOT BECAUSE OF HER, BUT BECAUSE OF YOU!!!¡± A flinch. Yeah. ¡°I ONLY EVER WISHED HER HAPPINESS!! I¡¯M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU!!¡± I point to the window. ¡°I¡¯M DOING THIS FOR HER!!¡± I pant. I take a moment... ¡°If me being hunched over that damned table for the rest of eternity is what it takes for her to be happy, because her place in the world is not here - then I''ll do it till I turn to dust again. Even if she never returns. Even if she''s dead already. I. Don¡¯t. Care.¡± I straighten out and run my hand through my hair. ¡°Least it will be worth it in my mind, because she is worth the pain, no, the love.¡± I tell Devona, looking right her in the eye. ¡°Anything else, Priestess?¡± A single head shake. ¡°Well then. If you''ll excuse me, I have an eternity of quiet suffering to get back to.¡± I bow and leave. I close the door behind me and stand there... Damn it all... Ten. Ten years have passed already... With the nation''s leader and economy in ruins I had to make the gut-wrenching choice to call off the search for Zarri... Neither Crile, nor Laira have anything to show for either... Clinging on to hope that she''s somewhere out there, alive, seems so idiotic and yet... ¡°Blain died.¡± I tell the pile. It moves. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°His heart stopped. So they say.¡± I watch for more movement. A head and a shoulder show themselves. ¡°We should help with the funeral. Or hold one...¡± ¡°They already took care of it.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Devona burrows herself back in. I sigh. ¡°He kept a journal. Several, actually.¡± Nothing. I continue. ¡°Some of them were dedicated to Zarri.¡± She pops back up. ¡°He kept looking.¡± ¡°And!¡± She grips the blankets. ¡°And nothing.¡± ¡°Ira!¡± She lets out a desperate breath. I know... ¡°He was tracking Emerald. Hoping that a beast like that would stand out. He had collected some sightings of her, but never anything concrete. Sometimes there were mentions of a rider. He assumed it had to be Zarri. 25 years'' worth of research notes. Even dates scheduled for next contacts to come in.¡± I watch the life fade from Devona''s eyes again. ¡°I never knew.¡± I confess. ¡°He never told me... He kept it all to himself. Probably because he didn''t want to give you false hope... Or just figured that no news were good news too... Problem was - the information reached him too late. By the time his friends or contacts got there she was gone...¡± I wait a moment. ¡°I''ll resume the search.¡± ¡°Don''t. Leave her be. I wasted enough resources. Our people are taking the hit for it.¡± Strange. Her voice sounds stronger than she looks... ¡°Keep Blain¡¯s network alive with minimal expenses if possible. If not - end it.¡± Devona rolls over and covers herself up again. ¡°If she''s alive after all these years - she can come home on her own. Spoiled brat.¡± She hisses. I roll my eyes. Pot calling the kettle black. ¡°As you wish.¡± I nod and leave her alone. ¡°It''s Zarri. She''s here.¡± I sit up on the bed holding my breath. ¡°Please don''t let her know that I told on her... There''s a situation here and, well. I just wanted you to know that she''s alive.¡± Laira''s voice trembles inside my head. ¡°Thank you, sweety.¡± ¡°Sure. I will try to get in touch again soon.¡± ¡°I appreciate it.¡± Tears flood my eyes. Fifty years... That damned child of mine!! ¡°I take it you heard?¡± A voice speaks to me from the darkness. ¡°When did you get in the habit of entering my bedroom at this hour?¡± ¡°When Crile told me that Laira already met with Zarri too.¡± ¡°HE KNEW FIRST!!!¡± I tumble in the dark, crawling out of the bed for the first time in forever. ¡°Where are you rushing to at this hour?¡± ¡°Existara! Where else! I have waited FIFTY DAMNED YEARS to give that blood of his a talking to!¡± I fall to my knees thanks to a tangled robe sash. I doubt I have felt embarrassed as I do now since my childhood... Something gently brushes the skin on my arm. ¡°Need a hand?¡± I clench my lips and take it. Ira helps me up. ¡°Well?¡± ¡°Well what?¡± ¡°Are you going to stop me?¡± ¡°No. I don''t have the power, Queen.¡± He mocks me openly. ¡°Even if I did - I wouldn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Out of the two of us, I have a better handle on things here, for one.¡± Damn it. ¡°Besides.¡± He continues. ¡°It will be better for her if you go.¡± ¡°I think she''d prefer to see you than me.¡± ¡°Exactly why you need to go. You are the mother, after all. She needs to know you don¡¯t hate her more.¡± ¡°What makes you think I don¡¯t hate her? She neglected half a century of responsibilities.¡± ¡°So? You wouldn¡¯t be standing here in the middle of your bedroom, with the intention of going to the next continent if you hated her.¡± I glare at him in the feint spring moonlight. ¡°Take your time. We''ll manage without you. We have so far.¡± I feel a graveyard chill run up my legs to my spine. Ira has left the chat. I sigh and go back to bed. As if I''ll get anything done in this hour... 17. The Eagerness Awaits "How was it?" I ask our Priestess as she takes my hand to step out of the carriage. She went to Existara and back in record time. Five months. Roughly. Unfortunately for her, the kids seem to have their hands full with their second Rebirth right about now. Or rather the aftermath of it. History has a terrible sense of irony, repeating itself like that. ¡°You mean before or after my DAUGHTER TURNED HERSELF INTO AN ICEBERG!!! THE IDIOT!!¡± She walks away quickly. ¡°Gather up whatever the supplies we have left in this dump! I am leaving immediately!!¡± I grab her arm. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Unhand me this instance!¡± ¡°What exactly can you do now? She''s half dead. This time we can be certain of it.¡± Devona slips her arm out of my hand. ¡°If you expect me to just sit here and wait again¨C¡° ¡°Yes. I do. You already did what you had to.¡± I hold her raging glare. ¡°You did, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Yes. Right before she almost drowned in her own blood! And I just stood there! Watching! I JUST STOOD THERE!! WATCHING AN INFANT PRIMERIAN SAVE MY CHILD''S LIFE!!!!¡± Aah. Is that what this glare is for? She covers her face, takes a breath and... ¡°I ALMOST LOST HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND DID NOTHING TO HELP!!!¡± She looks up at statue of Wykren. ¡°I failed to realize how low I have sunk...¡± Interesting. ¡°I also told them that I want them to ascend the throne. They both refused. Zarri did "promise" she''d come back after the Rebirth, BUT I GUESS FREEZING TO DEATH HAS PUT THAT ON HOLD NOW TOO!!! UUUGGHHH!!!!¡± She storms inside the Palace. I follow her quietly. She paces around the Hall like a wounded animal. She keeps blaming Wykren for Zarri''s character, but she is more like her mother than either of them realize it. ¡°How did she look?¡± I ask. ¡°LIKE AN IDIOT!¡± Devona keeps pacing. ¡°Like she''s been to Hell and Beyond. Twice. If not more...¡± She finally stops. ¡°Yet beautiful still.¡± I smile. Good. ¡°What am supposed to do?¡± ¡°Same thing as you always have. Wait.¡± ¡°Priestess?¡± A maiden dressed in the Robes, speaks from one of the side corridors. Haven''t seen that crest in a long and boring while. The black shadow of a woman with her arms up to the sky, in the silver circle of the moon. The seal of the High Priestess... Only her direct servants are allowed to wear the crest. ¡°Speak!¡± Devona waves her hand around. ¡°Is the Heir coming home?¡± She asks carefully. Devona turns around. I see the hopefulness in the maiden''s eyes. The eagerness is in the air. People are beginning to hope for a miracle that they thought they''d never see again. Our Priestess lets a sigh out. ¡°She''d better.¡± Devona stares in front of her again, looks out the balcony and back at me. ¡°Do we have the drawings that Lyma made of Wykren?¡± ¡°Of course;¡± I walk over to the desk and open the bottom left drawer; ¡°he''s been redrawing them every good decade or so and here.¡± I take a bunch and lay them out. Devona gets up next to me. She rustles through the drawings. Comparing some, putting them up and down again. She''s looking... ¡°This one.¡± She holds out a drawing with Wykren and Emerald. The Saber circles the Warrior from behind, roaring at the world, just like her master. I take the drawing. ¡°What do you want to do with it?¡± I ask. ¡°Make a statue for Emerald. She died protecting Zarri. It''s the least I can do honor her. Least she can finally stand next to him again too...¡± She adds in a whisper. ¡°We''ll get to it then.¡± I look up. The Palace Maiden is still here. I wave her over and hand her the drawing. ¡°You heard the Queen.¡± She nods and rushes out. Devona keeps gazing upon the black and white pictures of her love. Lyma did a good job including all of us here and there. Ah. There we go. Devona picks the one up with all four of them in it. Laughing and smiling together. Her, Wykren, Era and Zarri. Just the way it should have been. Tiny drops smudge the pencil here and there. She quickly puts the picture down. ¡°Save these for her, please.¡± She leaves the Hall without waiting for an answer. ¡°As you wish.¡± I mumble silently. ¡°Laira and Percival are doing the best they can.¡± ¡°Will that be enough?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Do you trust them?¡± I ask Crile. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Do you believe in them?¡± If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°I have to.¡± ¡°Then pray to the universe to give them strength to pull this off, because without them she''s gone too.¡± ¡°Is that how you managed all these years?¡± ¡°Meaning what?¡± I asked a bit confused. ¡°You had faith in her? In us?¡± ¡°Yes. I chose to believe in the people that are precious to me. That means more to me than some God. Or multiple. I only believe in those I care about.¡± ¡°Good to know.¡± ¡°Stay strong, kiddo.¡± ¡°Likewise.¡± His voice dies down again. Gorgeous... When will you stop taunting my frail soul? ¡°Sounds like the kids pulled through for her.¡± ¡°You''re telling me...¡± Devona keeps staring at the same page. I put my hand on it. ¡°Something on your mind, Priestess?¡± ¡°This better be the last time¡­ I''m not sure I can withstand another one of her death stunts...¡± ¡°Sure. Cause if not you''ll do what? Spank her?¡± I mock her. She glares at me for a quick second. ¡°I can dream, can''t I?¡± She pouts. ¡°If I may give you, my opinion.¡± ¡°As if anything stopped you from doing that before¡­¡± She mutters under her nose. I grin. ¡°I doubt she would have found the kind of people for friends as she has, if she had stayed here all her life.¡± The near death experience aside, of course. ¡°She would have never had to go through what she had, if she had stayed.¡± Devona raises an eyebrow at me, accompanied by a smug grin of her own. ¡°I¡¯d like to think that not all of it was a horrible experience.¡± ¡°You¡¯re deluding yourself by thinking so.¡± ¡°Right, because the alternative is so appealing.¡± I give her a look of my own now. ¡°We can argue here pointlessly about it as much as we want, it won¡¯t change a thing, and we¡¯ll never know what truly happened till she tells us.¡± ¡°If she ever will.¡± Devona sighs. Can¡¯t argue there... ¡°What do you mean Laira isn''t coming back?¡± Devona flares up a little. ¡°They will come to visit, but apparently Laira is part of something called the Rebirth Research Division and has chosen to stay behind to help in Existara.¡± I explain for the fifth time. ¡°Perfect! Just perfect!¡± She waves her hands around. ¡°Problem?¡± ¡°No! NOOOOO! None at all!!¡± She mumbles. ¡°She''s living her life too. If that''s what she decided...¡± ¡°Yes, yes, I know all that! I just.¡± ¡°Just wanted to have all of your kids back again in one place.¡± I finish for her. She keeps mumbling to herself. I roll my eyes. ¡°I think it''s rather admirable. Zarri and Crile faced the Rebirth twice and now Laira wants to help. I''m kinda proud of them.¡± ¡°Well good for you! There are problems to tend to, right here at home too, you know! But no! Our land is not exciting enough! Brats...¡± She adds angrily there at the end. Look who''s talking. ¡°I bet it''s because of that Primerian mate of hers that she''s staying behind.¡± Say what now? ¡°What Primerian mate?¡± I step closer. ¡°What? You didn¡¯t know?¡± Devona looks up at me. ¡°Laira is dating a Primerian boy. A mage. A? What was it again? A Reflector.... Marcus! Yes. That''s the name, I believe.¡± ¡°Huh. That''s just as rare as a Celestian. Interesting.¡± ¡°Interesting? That¡¯s ALL you have to say about that?¡± Devona stares at me. ¡°Is she happy with him? Did he hurt her? Is he abusing her?¡± ¡°Yes. No and no.¡± Devona answers, furrowing her brow. ¡°Then yes. That is all I have to say. Like I said and keep saying - it is their lives. They are free to live them the way they please.¡± So Lairy, has a man. That damned brat of mine never mention a word. Looks like another girl of ours has grown up... I smile to myself. ¡°You seem rather proud.¡± Devona squints at me annoyed. ¡°I''m happy for the girls. I was afraid that after everything that happened they would shut down from the world. Especially Lairy. She had so much trouble coming back. After all, she was barely a sweet little child when tragedy struck her. It took more effort for her to pull through and not to fall apart again. Zarri and Crile were adults, so as painful as it was and is for them, they are able to deal with it faster.¡± ¡°You call a fifty year-long disappearance act fast?¡± She mocks me. ¡°Yes. If Zarri had given into the darkness that time, Crile would have found a dead body instead of an empty bed. She was struggling, but at least she kept moving forward in her own way. Laira on the other hand turned into a you. She was an empty shell, till she found her way back. Zarri''s disappearance also was the only thing that made her move forward.¡± ¡°What about Crile? He didn''t move anywhere.¡± ¡°He clung to the idea of seeing his woman again. That was enough to keep him chained to this plane.¡± ¡°Do you ever get tired of having all the answers?¡± She gets back to the pile of paperwork in front of her. ¡°I''m still waiting for one.¡± I whisper into her ear and dive under. Damn me. I couldn''t resist the temptation... ¡°They''ll be here any minute now...¡± Devona paces around the room. ¡°Then I need to get moving.¡± ¡°Where are you going?¡± ¡°She knows where to find me.¡± I leave the Priestess to her anxiety. Hypocrite. My heart''s fluttering with anticipation too. Yet my restraints are keeping me in check. There will be no running up to her and picking her up into the air like a little girl. My body trembles with excitement at the thought of seeing the Gorgeous creature again, but my mind reminds me of my place in the world, and so, I leave the family reunion to the family. She''s his child, after all. 18. The Questions and the Answers ¡°Before we do the announcement. There''s one more thing I''d like to do.¡± Zarri says after dinner. ¡°Of course, Treasure. What is it?¡± Devona smiles. ¡°You lied to me! BOTH OF YOU LIED TO ME!! ALL MY DAMNED LIFE!!¡± She turns hysterical in an instance. Oh no. ¡°HER I CAN UNDERSTAND!! BUT YOU!!¡± She throws me a glare that I never wanted to be stabbed with... Not from her... ¡°FATHER WAS NOTHING LIKE THE TWO OF YOU MADE HIM SOUND!!¡± She gulps in air and... ¡°WHAT''S WORSE!! YOU MADE EMERALD LIE TO ME TOO!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!¡± She glares at Devona. Crile holds his arm around her and glares at me too. Yeah yeah, I deserve it... ¡°How did you¡­¡± Devona stands there, completely frozen with horror. ¡°SHE SHOWED ME!! RIGHT BEFORE SHE DIED!!¡± Tears run down the women''s faces. The pain... Seeing her like this... ¡°I CHASED A GHOST THAT NEVER EXISTED!! ALL MY LIFE I THOUGHT I WAS INFERIOR TO HIM!! EVERYONE ONLY EVER TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOOK LIKE HIM, SO I!!! I KEPT TRYING TO PROVE MYSELF AND FOR WHAT!!!¡± Oh, Cuteness, noo... I realize the mistake that was made a lifetime ago. By the looks of things, so has Devona. ¡°ALL SO I COULD FIND OUT JUST WHAT AN IDIOT MY GREAT FATHER WAS!!! THAT HE DIED FILLED WITH REGRET!!!¡± Zarri''s shrieks cut into my heart and soul. Devona curls up on the floor in front of her daughter. ¡°Oh forgive the fool!! Forgive me, child, as I have sinned before you!!¡± She''s hysterical now too just in a different way... ¡°I wanted you to know what great of a person Wykren was and even a better King!! I wanted you to see him like I did!! I...¡± Devona chokes on her tears... ¡°I failed to realize that you needed to know him as a person, as a human and not the great leader that I made him out to be!!!¡± ¡°A woman is on the floor crying her guts out, aren¡¯t you supposed to do something?¡± ¡°I never laid a hand on a woman that belonged to another man and I''m not about to start now.¡± ¡°Coward.¡± Crile hisses at me. ¡°Bite me.¡± I glare back. Zarri kneels next to her weeping mother. ¡°It''s ok, mom. I know.¡± She speaks in a calm voice now, through the tears. That was fast. Guess they don¡¯t call them mood swings for nothing¡­ ¡°I understand why you did it... But you.¡± She glares up at me again. ¡°Gorgeous, I''m sorry I have angered you. But it was not my call to make.¡± That¡¯s the best defense I have... Pathetic. True, but pathetic. ¡°Even so. I''m upset.¡± She says and hugs her mother. I reach into a pocket and pull the letter out. ¡°Since we''re on the topic. I think you need to see this too.¡± I hand her the envelope. Devona pulls herself away from her daughter. Zarri takes the letter. ¡°It may be a bit difficult to understand, the words were smudged here and there, I tried my best to, well. I guessed. Over the years...¡± ¡°This is the letter that Father read by the grave of my grandparents.¡± Zarri says, opening it. ¡°Yes.¡± I confirm. ¡°Emerald never saw it, so I...¡± ¡°Neither did we. That was the one thing he never shared with anyone.¡± Devona admits. ¡°Although he always kept it with him.¡± She says with a smile. ¡°We only found it later. Well, I never wanted to touch anything of his... There are some other things that you''ll need to see later.¡± Devona confesses. She probably means the drawings. Zarri reads the letter that Wykren''s parents'' left him. She smiles and sobs silently as she reads it. She gets up, together with Devona. ¡°I had forgiven Father awhile back, rather, I was never truly angry with him, just sad¡­ I always felt like there was something missing...¡± Zarri wipes her face a little. ¡°I don''t know how much of a relief this will be for you, but;¡± She looks at me and hugs me; ¡°it wasn''t your fault, Ira. You need to know that.¡± Something shatters inside of me. My knees give out and I slump down. Zarri''s face drops down into my eyesight as well. ¡°Thank you...¡± Is all I manage to whisper. She hugs me again. I feel my face get wet with tears of my own. I feel my shackles breaking one by one... ¡°You''ve done enough, Ira. You can leave here now...¡± That snaps me out of it and I stand up slowly again. ¡°As much as I appreciate the gesture, Mistress, soon to be Queen, but there is no other place on this Earth that I''d rather be miserably happy at, as I am here.¡± I take her hands into mine and gently kiss her knuckles. Zarri blushes. I feel rejuvenated. ¡°Well, um, if you say so.¡± Her eyes dart around cutely. Meanwhile that son of mine is burning a hole through my skull with his glare. I take the last chance I have and brush the last of the tears of Zarri''s lashes with the back of my index. ¡°Smile for me, Gorgeous.¡± I tell her and she blushes again, burrowing her face into my chest, mumbling something. ¡°I''m home, Dad.¡± She says. My arms wrap themselves around her. ¡°Welcome back.¡± I answer and let go before Crile really puts a knife in me. Zarri goes back to him. If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°Shall we call it a night, then? I do believe you need rest most of all.¡± Devona suggests, pointing to Zarri¡¯s belly. ¡°Sure.¡± Zarri nods. ¡°Goodnight you two.¡± ¡°Goodnight.¡± Crile nods. ¡°Rest well.¡± I answer. ¡°Night, Treasure.¡± Devona hugs her girl one more time and the kids leave the room. ¡°I can''t believe it... That Cat, broke her promise.¡± Devona sits down by her nightstand with the mirror. ¡°Technically, she kept her promise for as long as she was alive. There was no clause that prevented her from saying anything in death. In a way, you both got what you wanted out of that miserable deal.¡± It makes me nauseous... ¡°I can''t believe I was the entire reason for her suffering all this time... One lousy decision¡­¡± Devona blames herself. ¡°Nobody could have known¡­¡± I answer quietly. ¡°Oh please!¡± She gets up again. ¡°You were against it from the start! Admit it!¡± ¡°I was. But like I said. It wasn''t my call to make.¡± ¡°Right! And what do you call all those times you shouted at me for being an idiot!¡± ¡°That, was. An attempt to right the wrong. If it makes you feel any better, I failed there too. I should have insisted you tell her the truth more. I just didn¡¯t connect the dots...¡± ¡°Neither did I...¡± She sits back down... ¡°How am I supposed to live with myself now?¡± She sobs quietly again. ¡°I am the reason for all her pain... The choices she made in life... The ones she didn¡¯t make... How am I supposed to make it all THAT better now?¡± ¡°You don''t.¡± I tell her. She looks at me horrified. ¡°But you can make sure that it never happens again.¡± I tell her and walk over to the door. ¡°Goodnight, Priestess.¡± I walk out. I run into Crile on my way back to my place. ¡°Hold up.¡± He tells me. ¡°We need to talk.¡± He walks over to me. ¡°Boy, I''m not doing any more talking tonight without another drink.¡± I offer him my arm. He takes it and I pull us into the shadows. We emerge again in our old kitchen. The moonlight makes a nice assassin-like shadow. Per my design, of course. ¡°This place is still of a dump as ever.¡± ¡°Watch it. I cleaned here three days ago.¡± I take out a bottle and two mugs. ¡°Well. What is it?¡± ¡°You.¡± Crile says, taking a drink. ¡°I hate you. Always did.¡± ¡°You mean to tell me I just wasted my best bottle on that?¡± ¡°I mean to tell you, that until now I never realized what made me so mad. I realized tonight. Breeze always relied more on you than me. I always felt threatened by how much she liked you. You always made her feel weak. Something she never dared to be with me, no matter how much I tried to tell her that she can.¡± Crile takes another drink and so do I. He continues and I let him. ¡°We grew up together. In her eyes I''m her equal. But you. You''ve always been big and strong. That''s why she''d only cry in your arms. That''s the only time she ever showed her frail side. To you and you alone. That was the only time she ever felt safe...¡± He squeezes the mug. ¡°Something I clearly failed at, the other thing aside... I waited fifty years for her to return to me and something tells me that if it wasn¡¯t for the string of events that transpired, eventually, she would have chosen your arms to come back to instead of mine, and I hate you for it.¡± He almost cracks the wooden mug. ¡°Well. Did.¡± He looks at me again. Something tells me it ain¡¯t easy for him to say all of this. I play dumb. ¡°Did?¡± I take another sip. ¡°I realized that it was never because of my lack of anything that she felt that way. It was just because you are who you are and I am me. So, I got rid of that stupid notion. I can''t compete with a father figure like you. But I can make sure she feels safe in my arms alone from now on. I was simply too dumb to realize that she never saw you as anything more than a father¡­¡± ¡°Well good for you.¡± I salute him. ¡°But now I''m pissed with you for another reason.¡± ¡°You''re like the gift that keeps on giving.¡± I mock him. ¡°I can¡¯t believe that the two of you, moronoids, were the reason that Breeze was such a reckless idiot all her life! You lied to her! For that - I''m not forgiving either one of you.¡± ¡°Tell me about it...¡± I drink it all in a single gulp and pour another round for us. ¡°Is that all or is there more?¡± ¡°Why the rush?¡± Crile mocks me. ¡°Don''t you have a woman to get back to?¡± ¡°Don''t you?¡± He mocks me again. ¡°Never did.¡± I stare into the dark liquid. ¡°You think watching your loved one die in front of you is hard?¡± I grip the mug tighter and smash it into the wall. ¡°Try living next to her as if you are dead to her when she''s right there within your reach and yet!!¡± I stare at the kid. ¡°You only lived a few weeks like that¡­¡± I pull myself together again. ¡°If you have nothing more to say - get out. I''m not as patient as I look. There''s only so many emotions all in one night that I can handle.¡± I glare at the kid. He sets his mug down. ¡°Sorry.¡± He offers me a hand. ¡°Don''t do anything stupid, Dad. Least not till the kid is born. Please.¡± ¡°Smartass.¡± I shake his hand. ¡°Get outta here.¡± Crile smiles in the feint light and disappears the same way we came in. Well. Guess with all of that in the open, I can finally rest in peace. I take a breath in and let the Mana flow. I don''t stop it. I don''t control it. I simply let go¡­ ¡°Sorry, Gorgeous, Kiddo...¡± I feel the cold of the Shadow Realm burst out all around me. A fitting death for an Assassin... I close my eyes and smile. It won''t be long. My feet begin to sink into the darkness. ¡°Ira?¡± Huh? Oh. How cruel. My own mind playing tricks on me in my final moments... ¡°Ira, it''s me.¡± There it is again. That voice... ¡°Open the door, please...¡± My eyes snap open. I turn my head over my shoulder. ¡°Ira?¡± The handle rattles again. I stop the flow and pull myself out from the shadows. I was halfway under. I walk over and get the latch off. I open the door. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°What was that blood chilling cold just now?¡± ¡°I asked first.¡± I glare at her in the darkness. ¡°I. I''ve come to...¡± She takes a breath in. ¡°Is it too late? Or can I give you my answer now?¡± She steps inside. I step back. ¡°What answer is that?¡± I turn and stand sideways next to the open door. ¡°This.¡± Devona puts her hands on my chest and presses her lips to mine. I close my eyes and grab her hand. ¡°Do. Not. Test. Me. Woman.¡± I growl. I am not in the state of mind to hold back... ¡°I''m not.¡± She whispers. ¡°I mean it.¡± I look at her. My hand moves away from hers to her face. It slides along her neck and into her hair. I pull her to me and kiss her. 19. The Rest and the Wicked ¡°We rushed back as soon as we heard! Is everyone alright?¡± Devona asks, as soon as she steps through the door. ¡°Gramps! You SHOULD HAVE SEEN MOM! SHE ROCKS! JUST WOOSH! WOOSH! And STAB! SLICE! POW!¡± Xander throws a punch and a kick. I grin. ¡°Well, he''s perfectly fine.¡± I grin again. ¡°Tell me about it.¡± Crile mumbles. ¡°He''s been like this for days...¡± ¡°Xander, dear, why don''t you calm down before you hurt yourself, or worse, some else.¡± The grandmother suggests. The kid grins silly ear to ear and runs back to his mother. ¡°How is your vacation?¡± Little Rei walks over to say hello. Tyro makes himself comfortable in Devona''s arms and I pick Rei up. ¡°Very nice, dear.¡± Devona answers for me. ¡°You needn''t rush back each time there''s a bit of a ruckus.¡± Zarri tells us. ¡°Ruckus?¡± I raise my eyebrows. ¡°She insists on it not being a big deal¡­¡± Crile mumbles. ¡°Treasure, have you completely gone insane! Astri was attacked! You and your children almost got hurt!¡± ¡°Almost. I handled it.¡± Zarri throws a glare. HA! I grin proudly. Powers or no powers. She''s kicking ass still. That''s my Gorgeous! ¡°And we don¡¯t doubt you one bit, Gorgeous.¡± I smile. ¡°But you can''t stop us from worrying about you and the little ones.¡± ¡°Yes, yes. I''m aware.¡± She mumbles. ¡°What''s the status anyways?¡± I turn to Crile. ¡°One dead still. Our injuries were minor. They were just some Odion teens. They trashed everything in sight more than tried to hurt anyone seriously, besides the one dead moronoid. We have the rest of them locked up. This one;¡± he points to his beloved; ¡°insists on gathering Intel...¡± ¡°But you don¡¯t seem to agree?¡± I finish his sentence for him. He gives me a quick eyeroll. Right. Between the land and the kids... ¡°Treasure?¡± Devona puts a bit of pressure there. ¡°They are just kids.¡± Zarri exhales. Ah. There we go. The motherly instincts have spoken. ¡°You should see them. They look like a bunch of lost puppies.¡± ¡°More like a pack of wild dogs...¡± Crile mutters all tired. ¡°Night shift?¡± ¡°Just making sure my family is safe.¡± He answers. I glance over the three jewels. The twins are eleven now. Which makes the little Tyro nine. Of course, she would have some reservations about a bunch of teens running wild... It''s not their fault... Well. Not all of it. Devona looks at me. I''ve seen that gaze before. I sigh. ¡°Of course, you''d be concerned now too.¡± I smile. ¡°Very well. Shall we go then?¡± ¡°Go where?¡± Crile asks, oddly enough, glaring at me. There we go. That''s more like it. ¡°To Rebellion.¡± ¡°No.¡± Zarri protests. ¡°Gorgeous, I''ve had this conversation before. If anyone is going there - it''s me.¡± ¡°And me.¡± Devona adds. ¡°Whyyyy?¡± In a mere instant Zarri turns into a five-year-old. That soothes my heart. ¡°We''ve been doing nothing, but laze around for the past decade. I''d like to be of some use to you, Treasure, before I die.¡± ¡°You''ve earned your vacation. Enjoy it.¡± Crile says. True. Devona and I have been taking it nice and slow all over Noxanda. With the occasional trip to Ballista. She loves to shop... Not that I can complain. This slow paced, mundane, numbingly dull life was worth the pain. I couldn''t be happier. Not for myself, nor for the kids. I enjoy every moment spent with my woman. As boring as this life looks to the outside world - it''s never that for us... ¡°We will. Nobody said we''re going there tomorrow.¡± ¡°We can go around, place to place, seeing more of the world, making our way over there. We''ll take our time. Promise.¡± I wink at Zarri. ¡°It did you good, after all.¡± Devona takes a light jab at her daughter. I grin. ¡°We''ll visit Laira too. Besides.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± Zarri focuses. ¡°This way we''ll gather Intel from this side too, before we do anything. Times change, we can''t guarantee that the people still feel about the Rebellion the same way as before.¡± I answer. ¡°True.¡± Crile nods. I set the Pretty down and pat her on the head. She looks at me all oh-so-worried and slowly retreats back to her father''s side. Devona does the same with Ty. Xan stares hella worried at his mother. Crile gestures Ro to come over and he runs the five steps. ¡°Well. I won''t try and talk you out of it.¡± Zarri says and puts a finger over Xander''s lips, as he takes in air to protest. ¡°When you''ll be in Existara, you should go see Percival. He''s close to the border and he''ll be of use to you...¡± I see the tears pile up. ¡°We''ll be fine, Gorgeous.¡± ¡°Yes, I''m sure you will be...¡± She tries her best to smile. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Between an Assassin and a Mixology Cleanser - you bet.¡± I answer my boy. Guess fatherhood has softened him up a bit too. It fills me with great joy and pride, seeing them like this... While Devona and I were busy getting ready for our ¡°round the world¡± trip, the three rascals have been busy getting in trouble. We left them alone for a few days only¡­ It¡¯s tough to leave when you wanna stay, but, if this helps them here, then... I sigh. I walk in the room and see Crile standing by the bathroom door with a knife to his throat. I smirk. ¡°May I?¡± I ask, carefully. ¡°Ira? What? Oh. You heard...¡± Zarri averts her gaze from me. ¡°We¡¯re almost done getting her the herbs for the trip and all... Your mother is saying her goodbyes to the kids right now, she didn¡¯t want to leave it up to the last minute, kinda prepping them for it.¡± I explain. ¡°Oh, no...¡± Zarri closes her eyes. ¡°It''s fine. Xander''s not saying a word about what happened. He said he fell.¡± I tell her. Crile grins. ¡°What kind of a mother am I?¡± ¡°The kind that wants to protect her children.¡± I offer her my hand. She takes it. ¡°The kind that wants to prepare her children for the reality. No need to beat yourself up for it.¡± I lead her to the couch by the end of the bed. We sit down. There''s that glare in Crile''s eyes again. I steal my last opportunity to taunt him. You''d better be taking notes there, instead of glaring at me, you, "dumb" son of mine... ¡°I know it must be difficult for you, because of the recent events. What happened with the kids especially, but, please, don¡¯t brood over it too much. Parenting doesn¡¯t come easily. I should know. Actions have consequences. Unfortunately, Xander learned that the hard way.¡± ¡°Twice.¡± I see the self-loathing in her eyes. ¡°He''ll pull through and so will you. If anyone can train those kids to be the best - it''s you two.¡± I take both her hands into mine. ¡°Just don¡¯t forget the most important part.¡± ¡°What''s that?¡± Zarri looks at me. ¡°Have fun. All of you together as a loving family that you are. The things you do and will do is all for the sake of them and their future. It will be fine, Gorgeous.¡± ¡°I dislocated my son''s shoulder two weeks after he got beat up to a bloody pulp and spent five days in the Maze...¡± ¡°One. He was outnumbered. Two. He protected Tyro. Three. He''s still protecting Reina. And four - he hasn¡¯t complained once about anything. That boy has matured emotionally a whole ton in a blink of an eye. He knows it was all his fault and he''s taking his punishments as a man. One for his silly games, one for getting others involved and one for his weakness that he mistook for strength. He¡¯s learning. They all are.¡± ¡°But the way he¡¯s learning¡­¡± ¡°Not the most recommended one for a child, but he¡¯ll pull through.¡± ¡°How do you know?¡± She looks at me, crushed. ¡°Because he has you. If anyone knows how to come back from the dark side ¨C it¡¯s you, Gorgeous.¡± Zarri breaks into a sad smile. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make it any less painful...¡± She whispers. ¡°I know.¡± I kiss her hands. ¡°Have faith in your children. No matter what. Promise me.¡± I catch a tear with my index. She nods. Good girl. ¡°I''ll miss you.¡± Zarri hugs me. ¡°I''ll miss you more.¡± I answer and let go. I get up. Crile meets me with his hand out. I grab it and we shake. ¡°Stay strong.¡± ¡°Likewise.¡± We exchange glances. ¡°I''ll go see the kids now too. Your mother will be here soon.¡± Ira and I pass each other in the hall. ¡°Well?¡± ¡°She''s heartbroken. Be gentle with her and be honest with yourself.¡± He gives me a quick peck on my temple. ¡°How are the kids?¡± ¡°Pouting.¡± I answer in a whisper. We smile and carry on. I knock on their door. ¡°Come in, Ma.¡± Zarri answers. ¡°I take it Ira already told you everything that I was going to say, only he was better at it.¡± I smile. ¡°Does that mean you have nothing left to say?¡± Zarri mocks me. ¡°I''ll miss you. I will always love you, Treasure. That doesn¡¯t change with us leaving. I''ll miss the children too. They are such precious little jewels. I think that the recent events have brought them closer together. I didn''t see any fear in them and it fills me with so much joy that¡­¡± My voice breaks. Zarri walks over to me and hugs me. ¡°I''ll miss you too, Mom. I love you.¡± We pull apart. I take my daughter''s smiling face into my palms. Treasure... ¡°Please take care, Priestess.¡± Crile smiles at me too. I hug the boy next. ¡°Thank you.¡± I tell him and let go. Crile nods. He knows that''s not a simple thank you. That was the best I could come up with... I leave my blood in his care and he, better than anyone, knows, what a grueling task it is to look after her... ¡°I''ll go then. If we stay any longer I might change my mind.¡± I giggle clumsily and so does Zarri. ¡°Have fun.¡± She says. ¡°May the stars shine upon you.¡± Crile nods. ¡°My lords.¡± I curtsy and leave. ¡°Are you sure you want to do this?¡± I ask Devona one last time before we set sail tomorrow. ¡°Yes. She already made her statement as a Queen. She made the decision where I never could. That''s why I left it to our people to deal with the scum... She''s stronger than me. She can handle this. She already is handling this better.¡± Devona looks at me. Well. Least she''s determined. ¡°Alright then.¡± I don¡¯t argue. ¡°What?¡± She takes in a gulp of air and nothing. ¡°Yes?¡± I try again, walking closer to her. ¡°Why don''t you call me Vona?¡± I wait a moment. ¡°Because Vona is his.¡± I can''t... ¡°You respect him even now, after all this time?¡± She swipes a runaway tear with one fluid motion. I lift her face up. ¡°Dev.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± She stares at me startled. ¡°Dev.¡± I smile. ¡°I can call you Dev. No good?¡± ¡°No. It''s fine. Short and simple. I like it.¡± She smiles. ¡°Good. That''s my Dev.¡± I lean in and kiss her. Epilogue The five of us gather round in our Parents'' bedroom. Mom and Dad stand there huddled up in the middle of the room. Mom opens up the letter and reads out loud. ¡°We regret to inform you that...¡±