《Klawhammer》


 Chapter 1: Daddy Aint Like Workin

    I look out the window while Daddy drives and I see what I always see when we go this way and it¡¯s those two dead dogs in the ditch with frozen snarling mouths, slowing melting together with the dirty wet snow. They come apart a little more each time we pass and now I can see in one of their open stomachs and It¡¯s filled with dog food that looks like a grainy soup.


    Daddy says they died while fighting each other but I think the owner go fed up with them not doing enough tricks and they both got hit with a hammer and tossed in the ditch. We keep going and I see we¡¯re heading toward the dumping spot where we pile up all our trash so the bears don¡¯t get too comfortable near our house. We pull into the small opening in the woods on the overgrown road with the two tracks on either side of a weed path, and the truck lurches and kicks and pings up rocks into the woods.


    We come into the wide-open lot with the sliding pile of wet garbage surrounded by nettles and fallen gray trees and broken branches and Daddy stops the truck close to the pile and he hops out and I hop out and I look in the back of the truck but there¡¯s nothing in there and Daddy is staring at the pile, watching it for a long time and by now I know it''s not good to interrupt Daddy while he¡¯s watching and thinking.


    Pretty soon he turns to me and asks if I know why we¡¯re here and I say to throw out some trash and he scoffs and says, ¡°you see any fukkin¡¯ trash in the back of that truck¡±? I shake my head and he asks if I remember my brother Jacob and I say a little bit and he looks at the trash pile for a good long while and Daddy says that today is Jacob¡¯s birthday and he wanted to visit him and I was old enough now to visit him too.


    I wait for us to leave so we can go to Jacob although the thought makes me nervous because he¡¯s dead and what if Daddy makes me talk to him and what if he¡¯s falling apart like the dead dogs in the ditch but Daddy just stands there looking at the pile of trash and pretty soon he gets back in the truck and I get back in the truck and we drive home silently but before we turn into our long driveway, I ask Daddy if we¡¯re going to see Jacob and he says we just seen him and once a year is enough.


    My Daddy


    We done lived in this house in town since my first memories. I remember snow and a big stranger running around our house and that man had black hair and a black mustache and a gap in his teeth what made him whistle sometimes which made me laugh and Momma called him Ross. I guess that stranger was Daddy. I didn¡¯t know it at the time.


    Momma drank coffee and was named Robyn but her name to me is Momma and she has brown hair right down the middle of her back and in a ponytail all the time maybe on account of how she was always wearing horse shirts so she could maybe look like a horse too, only she looked like the little horses other than the big ones and she was bony legs and small like them.


    She would sing in the kitchen and says it¡¯s country and while she¡¯s explaining what country is I dip my finger in her coffee when she¡¯s not looking so I could taste it and it was like sweet almonds.


    I was in a crib for a time and shared a room with Jacob and it¡¯s like looking through smoked glass without any sound when I try to remember exactly how he was then. He has black hair like Daddy¡¯s and was so skinny he could fit under the bed without it touching his back or nothing. I remember there was always breathing in our room that wasn¡¯t me and wasn¡¯t Jacob and it was probably a ghost and I would crawl into Jacob¡¯s bed so we didn¡¯t have to listen to it alone even though Jacob¡¯s bed smelled like pee.


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    Our kitchen floor was green patch linoleum, warped and hilly enough that when you set down a little car or marble it would roll on its own. When I got a older, Daddy was always home wearing cutoff shorts and no shirt so you could see his big white belly that he would slap from time to time. There was commotion sometimes like shouting and slamming coming from Daddy and Momma¡¯s room and Daddy would come home at all hours of the night and would wake us all up and was real funny and tripped on things and I liked Daddy that way because he would chase Jacob around barking at him and running on all fours and Jacob was playing ¡°escape from the hellhound¡± until Jacob was lying on the floor laughing so hard he couldn¡¯t breathe while Daddy pretended to eat his stomach.


    Then Daddy would sweep me up in his arms and swing me around so I could be an airplane, but I slipped from his hands once and I flew across the room and hit my forehead on the corner of the coffee table. I only got a lump on my head but Momma didn¡¯t like that so Daddy wasn¡¯t able to go out and come back happy Daddy no more and fly me around and chase Jacob. That made me mad at Momma since now Daddy would sit around and stare off into space and shout sharp things at us about using too much brown sugar on our oatmeal and running the hot water for too long. That went on for a while only I don¡¯t know how long and they¡¯s just mixed things that happened and not in a row.


    Now I¡¯m bigger and I ain¡¯t remember too good when Momma tells me to pick up things what I leave laying everywhere, but I remember enough and Daddy is first and forefront.


    Daddy came home early one day and says to whoever would listen, ¡°they done it again! They said I ain¡¯t showed enough at the time what they give me to go there in the morning but I ain¡¯t understand why since I can do all the work ok in a shorter period than what they say on account of how I¡¯m much smarter than them and it ain¡¯t take no genius to do what they got me doing at that place. I can paint a door starting at whatever time I like and I said as much to them.¡± Momma goes ¡°so that¡¯s why you¡¯re home early then? Because they were so impressed that you told them you¡¯re smarter than them and can do everything better and you ain¡¯t need to do what they tell you?¡± And Daddy starts to say something but Momma cuts him off.


    ¡°They sent you home early so you could take a rest? Rest that big brain of yours, is that it?¡± And Daddy says no, they fired him and Momma says ¡°again! Everybody always firing you! Why ain¡¯t you just go there when they say and come back with a paycheck? Why can''t you shut your mouth for once and get us some money? We can''t eat air! Can¡¯t pay no bills with air!¡± And Daddy says it wasn¡¯t right and wasn¡¯t fair and how¡¯s he supposed to put up with them tellin¡¯ him what to do all the time and it wasn¡¯t no man¡¯s work, paintin¡¯ doors and the like and Momma goes ¡°It don¡¯t matter! Man¡¯s work is to bring home something what we can feed these here kids with and pay for this house and... you ain¡¯t know how it works yet?!¡±


    Daddy says ¡°I know how it works alright. I go out and get a job and I¡¯m supposed to act like they doin¡¯ me a big favor while they take all the money for themselves. You know the man that just fired me? He ain¡¯t even know the difference between a paint primer and the paint itself what goes on last! Everyone knows it goes on the outside! He ain¡¯t even able to do what I do and he gets to just, tell me when I aughta be somewhere sos I can''t do what I want and I have to keep doing that? For food? I ain¡¯t like it! What he got that he can tell me what to do with the painting of the doors and whatnot? He going to tell me when I can take a shit next?!¡± And Momma looks over at me and Jacob and says to hush up with that language. Daddy says ¡°I ain¡¯t care! I done painting doors, and I done digging, and I done tearing apart rich people¡¯s bathrooms and I done rode around in a warehouse and picked up things and brought them to other places and they¡¯s all a waste of time! Don¡¯t you see!?¡±


    Momma says ¡°I see all right; I see you getting up late and telling me you¡¯re smarter than everybody, but we can''t even pay for a telephone. Being smarter than everybody ain¡¯t going to pay the bills unless you can build a gizmo or something? Can you build a gizmo? Make us some gizmo money?¡± And Daddy says ¡°not smarts like that. I can''t build no gizmo and you know I can''t build no gizmo. Least not one that people would understand.¡± ¡°Then what can you do, Ross? How are you so smart but can''t even keep a job painting doors?¡± And Daddy looks at her hard and smiles a wild smile then backs out of the house, lookin¡¯ at her the whole time while walking backward to his truck, and he gets in, and drives off.

 Chapter 2: Dead Mouse

    Momma looks over and Me and Jacob and says in a happy voice like she ain¡¯t just been arguing at Daddy. ¡°Well, what you two want for dinner? You want some spaghetti?¡± It ain¡¯t dark enough for dinner yet but me and Jacob hop right up for spaghetti is our favorite meal and maybe Momma will let us watch something on the TV while we eat as she¡¯s more likely to do that whenever Daddy storms off.


    We had us our spaghetti and Momma did let us watch a little TV until she said that the brain rot was setting in and shut it off right in the middle of my favorite show. ¡°Awwwwww¡± Jacob and I both say and Momma cuts us off ¡°why don¡¯t you all get on outside? Get you some exercise after staring at that evil blinking box¡± and we is both groaning, but now I¡¯m only groaning because Jacob is groaning and I try to groan louder then him but nobody can out groan Jacob. Momma shoos us both out the back door and we stand there on the stoop, still in a trance from watching TV and there ain¡¯t nothing more we want to do than stare at the TV and we hate it outside right now.


    We both sit on the stoop and after a little bit Jacob stands up and looks through the back window. ¡°Hey!? She got the TV back on!¡± And I stand up too but I¡¯m not tall enough to look so I hop up and down and I see she do have it on. Jacob knocks on the window and is riled up. Momma comes to the door and opens it and says ¡°you all get to playing out here! Get to running around or some such!¡± And Jacob says ¡°you got the TV on! Why you get to watch the TV and we ain¡¯t get to watch the TV?!¡± And I chime in ¡°yeah! How come!?¡± And we is all indignant and Momma says because she can do whatever she wants and is the one who pays the bills around here and Jacob, he was listenin¡¯ to Momma and Daddy argue more than they thought he was and says ¡°no you ain¡¯t! You ain¡¯t even got a job! Daddy pays the bills!¡± and Momma gets a stony look on her face and says now we gotta stay out here for double the time and she closes the door and locks it.


    Jacob looks back through the window but she closes the curtains so we can''t see inside no more. ¡°Why¡¯d you say that?¡± I say ¡°Now we¡¯s in trouble and can''t never watch TV again¡± and I start to cry and Jacob says to shut up crybaby and I hate him and he hates me. I cross my arms and sit on the stoop and look away and Jacob walks to the end of our small backyard right to the blackberry bushes, but they is all brown and thorny instead of green and with berries although I guess they always have the thorns only you don¡¯t notice it so much when they¡¯s berries to eat off em¡¯.


    I¡¯m already forgetting why I¡¯m looking away from Jacob but I know I¡¯m supposed to be mad at something so I keep looking away and I hear him doing something and I look over quick and it looks interesting but I look back before he can see me take a peep at what he¡¯s doing. I hear him over there whispering to himself and he says ¡°wow!¡± And I look all the way around now and he¡¯s got a stick and is doin¡¯ something over there and I¡¯m powerful curious and I forget all the way that I¡¯m mad and I say ¡°what you all got over there?¡± And he looks over at me and says ¡°just never you mind¡± and goes back to doing it and that does it.


    I need to see.


    I ease up and walk slow to where he is and he notices me and hides what he¡¯s doing on purpose and I say ¡°what all you got there? You have to play with me because Momma says and I¡¯ll tell her you ain¡¯t playing with me like she said you had to¡± and Jacob says ¡°she ain¡¯t said I had to play with you and you can go sit on that porch until the sun goes down for all I care¡± and I get mad again and I¡¯m going to tell Momma and Jacob is going to get into big trouble and that will make me feel better because Jacob deserves it.


    I start to walk toward the house and Jacob says ¡°what you doing?¡± And I say ¡°I¡¯m tellin¡¯¡± and Jacob heaves a big sigh and stands there, considering, then says ¡°fine. But hurry up about it and I probably saved you from getting'' a swat for Momma hates a tattletale¡± and I scramble on over to where Jacob is and he says ¡°look here¡± and is pointing with a stick but I ain¡¯t see what he¡¯s pointing at and he says ¡°here! Through this hole, Dummy.¡± and I see he¡¯s pointing at a small hole in the board fence and I look through and on the other side of the fence what is the alleyway which is always spooky and dark and they¡¯s broken glass all around so I know it¡¯s dangerous. There¡¯s something small and fuzzy like a ball of dryer lint and I say ¡°what¡¯s that? Like some kind of a fuzz ball or something?¡± And I ain¡¯t so impressed even though I¡¯m happy Jacob wanted to show it to me ¡°no, lookit¡¯ closer, it''s a mouse, I think. I think it¡¯s dead.¡±


    I look again and I see a little snoot and there is a tail curled around its hindquarters and then I get sad for I ain¡¯t want nothing to die and Jacob says ¡°let¡¯s poke at it! See if it moves!¡± And he does but it ain¡¯t move none and that makes me sadder and I say ¡°we can''t poke at it, that there mouse ain¡¯t done nothing to nobody what it needs to be killed or poked at¡± and Jacob says I¡¯m being a baby but I can tell Jacob is trying to act tough and he¡¯s sad too.


    ¡°What all are we going to do with it?¡± I say and Jacob says we should get it and maybe hide it in Daddy¡¯s pants pocket or something but he only says it half-heartedly and we is both quiet and until Jacob pipes up ¡°I know! We can give it a proper decent burial¡± and I say that¡¯s just what we need to do and we need to forever mark its passing and we¡¯s both looking at the mouse and wondering how we¡¯re going to get to that alleyway since our fence ain¡¯t open at all and the only way back there is through the house and Momma ain¡¯t going to answer the door for she put us out here so she can watch the TV in peace. We is looking all around the yard and they¡¯s some things we can lean against the fence to maybe climb it but they¡¯s just rotted boards mostly and not enough to carry our weight.


    I say maybe we can bring it through the hole and Jacob ponders some and I see he gets an idea. ¡°You got any threads comin¡¯ off you at all?¡± And I ain¡¯t sure what he means by threads. ¡°Threads, threads, like comin¡¯ out your pockets or whatnot. Check your socks.¡± And he¡¯s checking his socks and I¡¯m checking my pants and clothes and Jacob has a thread coming off his sock and he¡¯s pulling it and it gets longer and that¡¯s a fine idea. I find a thread comin¡¯ off my pocket and I pull that and now we¡¯s got a little thread and we winds them together and now we got to find a way to get that mouse through the hole and this here is Jacob¡¯s idea so I wait for him to say something.


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    He¡¯s pondering I can tell and he says ¡°now we need something what all we can attach to the string to snag ahold of that mouse, hmm hm. Get on the lookout in this yard for something that looks like a ¡®C¡¯¡± and I say I ain¡¯t know what a ¡°see¡± looks like and he says ¡°yes you do, like this¡± and he traces a half circle in the air and I say ¡°oh! Like that! I seen that before¡± and he says ¡°that¡¯s good, Gabe, learnin¡¯ real good. Now get on all over this place and start lookin¡¯ for one.¡± And Jacob is lookin¡¯ all around too and I find a stick that looks kind of like a C and I bring it straight to him and he says that¡¯s good, but not strong enough and it got to fit in the hole sideways and he holds out his fingers ¡°like about this here¡± and its about two inches and I say ¡°ok!¡± And I get to looking everywhere for I want to find it first and there ain¡¯t much back here in a ¡°c¡± shape and that strikes me as odd since I ain¡¯t never looked for a certain shape before and I wonder if it¡¯s always this hard to find things you¡¯re looking for.


    Jacob chimes up ¡°found one!¡± And I head over, happy he found what it was he was looking for but not happy that I ain¡¯t found it first. He¡¯s holding up a bent nail and it sure looks like a c to me. ¡°Now we put in on here like this¡± and Jacob ties both ends of our string to both ends of the c. ¡°We¡¯ll get it in this here hole and we¡¯ll drag him on over and right through on to this side¡± and now I see what he¡¯s talking about and Jacob is probably the smartest person I know and we¡¯s going to save this dead mouse from being all stomped on or maybe eaten by some mean animal.


    Jacob gives it a toss through the hole and I hear the clang of the nail on the other side of the boards and he swears under his breath like Daddy does when he doin¡¯ something what requires fiddling ¡°damn all¡± and I look all around to make sure nobody heard him and Jacob looks up quick too in case I spotted someone what was going to get him in trouble but there ain¡¯t nobody about so he goes at it again and he pulls the nail back through the hole and gives it another toss and there¡¯s another clink sound from the alleyway and he sticks out his tongue and is pulling the strings careful like maybe he got it and I¡¯m excited ¡°you get him?! You get him?!¡± And Jacob loses his concentration and he looks askance at me ¡°I almost done got him until you squawked in my ear¡± and I cover my mouth with my hand and he gives me the evil squint eyes and goes back for another try.


    I think he done missed all the way this time for he sighs and says it can''t never be done and that mouse is going to come to an even worse end then it already come to. Even though it¡¯s already dead something evil is going to come along and turn it into a mouse zombie just like the people zombies on TV and it¡¯ll forever walk the earth and won¡¯t get no rest. ¡°Let me give it a try, Jacob. I ain¡¯t want no zombie mouse walkin¡¯ the earth forever, trying to eat brains but being too short to reach em¡¯. He already been through enough.¡± Jacob shrugs and hands me the string and nail ¡°give ¡®er a shot then, but I expect there ain¡¯t nobody on this world that can do it, even if they had a thousand chances.¡±


    I take a deep breath since I know now that it¡¯s all up to me. I heft the nail on the string to get the weight of it and give it a few swings, then I get down on my knees and look through the hole again. The mouse is only about a foot away from the fence and I think all I need to do is throw it past the mouse and drag on both ends real slow until it catches him but I have to pull them both ends just so and at the same time.


    I hold on to the ends of the string with one hand and the curled nail in the other and I give her a straight toss and the nail shoots past the mouse and onto the other side of it and it¡¯s in a goodly spot enough and I start to pull the string slow as I can, but Jacob says ¡°watch out!¡± And there''s a car coming down the alleyway now and I ain¡¯t sure if what we¡¯re doing is something that can get us in trouble but I ain¡¯t sure of the rules too good since sometimes I think I¡¯m doing an ok thing, then Momma or Daddy say it ain¡¯t ok and I get punished like what Momma just done when she made us stay outside longer for looking in the window at her watching TV.


    Jacob and I both get down fast even though the car can''t see us even if it stopped right next to the hole, but it seemed like we should get down anyway. The car passes and I still have the string in my hand and Jacob and I both give a sigh of relief like we just escaped something and I look through the hole and the nail is still there ok and I keep at it. Slow I go and the nail is cradling the mouse now and I get excited. Jacob sees my excitement and says ¡°you got it?!¡± and he¡¯s crowding the hole but we both can''t look out at the same time and I nod but I can''t get distracted now so I take a slow breath and keep pulling and the mouse is coming along and pretty soon, it¡¯s all the way up to the fence. ¡°Got ¡®er to the fence! How we get it in now?¡± I ask and Jacob says we have to stab it and haul it in, like a fish.


    My eyes get wide ¡°I ain¡¯t stabbin¡¯ no mouse! We is trying to take care of this mouse and not put a hole in it! It wouldn¡¯t be right!¡± But Jacob says sadly that it¡¯s the only way and that we can say sorry to the mouse after we do it if it would make me feel better. Jacob says ¡°tell you what. You get to digging a hole over somewhere away from here and I¡¯ll do the dirty work so you ain¡¯t have to see it¡± and I nod resignedly and wished we could go through the house and into the alleyway and just pick it up but Momma is still guardin¡¯ the place. I walk as far away from Jacob as I can and I start talking to myself so I don¡¯t have to hear the stab but I hear it anyway and I picture the poor mouse on the end of a stick like a piece of barbecue meat and its tail is probably swinging like a dead string.


    I cover my ears so I don¡¯t have to hear no more and I feel a touch on my shoulder and it¡¯s Jacob. ¡°It¡¯s done now and it ain¡¯t so bad and you dug a good hole and he¡¯ll feel mighty safe in there I expect.¡± Jacob leads me to the mouse and there¡¯s a hole in it and I see the red inside and Jacob is right and it ain¡¯t as bad as all that.


    We both apologize to the mouse and Jacob picks it up by the tail and we both walk it slow to the hole. He sets it in and asks me if I want to say anything over the grave and I say ¡°I sure am sorry that you died in the alley and I hope it was a car what hit you and killed you fast and not some kind of something that killed you slow and we¡¯re going to think about you all the time and you¡¯re safe in there now.¡± Jacob nods solemnly and we both fill in the hole together, piling in the dirt with our hands and we tamp it down level with our feet and put a stick to mark it.

 Chapter 3: Tombstone Slide

    We sit by the grave and the sun is going down and the kitchen light comes on now and we hear the door open and it¡¯s Momma. ¡°What you all doing out here?¡± And we both say ¡°nothin¡¯¡± and she says to come inside now to wash up and get ready for bed. While we is washing up together in the bathroom and cleaning our hands of the grave dirt, Daddy¡¯s truck pulls up out front and we know that sound anywhere and don¡¯t need to check to be sure. The door opens and there¡¯s murmuring in the living room and it¡¯s Daddy and Momma talking together and they¡¯s not arguing I guess since I can''t hear what they¡¯re saying exactly, so me and Jacob stop washing up and dry our hands on the towel and there¡¯s a streak of dirt on it now but we ain¡¯t got time to wash up all the way since we want to hear what all Daddy¡¯s been up to.


    I rush out into the living room and Daddy says ¡°it¡¯s the ol¡¯ Scamp! What you been up to ol¡¯ Scamp!¡± And I say ¡°not much Daddy!¡± And I give him a hug and Daddy says ¡°Jacob! Get on over here!¡± And Jacob comes next and Daddy gives him a hug and Momma¡¯s face looks like we interrupted something but Daddy likes this because he ain¡¯t have to keep talking about what they were talking about. Momma says ¡°ok now, you two get on to bed and I¡¯ll be in to check on you in a minute¡± and she makes a shooing motion with her hands and we both groan and Jacob groans the loudest of course but we go in our room and close the door loud so Momma knows we¡¯re in there, but they can''t see the door from the living room so we open it back up real quiet and now we can listen at the crack.


    Daddy says ¡°I done got another job and I hope you¡¯re happy¡± and Momma says she don¡¯t believe him and he says ¡°but I did! Loadin¡¯ up trucks is what I¡¯m to be doing and they just had someone quit and they need someone to fill in quick and they ain¡¯t asked for nothing like no papers or the like, just that I show up tomorrow and to get started.¡± Momma says ¡°ok, what time you supposed to get started¡± and Daddy says they ain¡¯t say and Momma scoffs ¡°they probably told you what time, you just ain¡¯t want to get up that early¡± and Daddy says honest, they ain¡¯t told him a time, just to show up in the morning and to get to work. Momma says ¡°if they ain¡¯t really give you a time and you¡¯s supposed to be there in the morning, then you¡¯re leaving this house at 6:30am and you''re going to show them that you¡¯s ready and willing to work. I ain¡¯t messing around no more and we done got another electric bill today with red letters on the front.


    I ain¡¯t opened it yet but that¡¯s the third one we got and it probably don¡¯t say that we won a million dollars or nothing. We need this money, Ross. I know you ain¡¯t like doin¡¯ work, but this is how you get the money and that¡¯s just the way it has to be.¡± Daddy says ¡°don¡¯t you worry, I¡¯ll keep this one and the man seems goodly enough and he pays every day with cash so we can start paying¡¯ those things you talked about.¡± I hear kissing in the living room now and we close the door so we don¡¯t have to listen to that no more. We climb into bed and wait for Momma to come check on us but she don¡¯t and this means we got free reign until she remembers to tell us to go to sleep, for she ain¡¯t told us that yet, just to go to bed.


    Jacob gets from under his bed a little brown tape player with big buttons on it and we get to opening it up and there¡¯s a read along book in there about a mermaid and I like that one but that ain¡¯t the one we like together. Jacob fishes deeper under the bed and comes out with a tape what ain¡¯t got no writing on it and that¡¯s our favorite tape. Jacob pops it in and hits the play button and it¡¯s both of us talking like we is on TV and this tape player is special since we can record ourselves and listen back on it and speed it up and slow it down so we sound like chipmunks or monsters.


    Jacob hits the play button and Jacob¡¯s voice comes on then and says ¡°this is Jacob TV and tune in now for breaking news¡± and I come on ¡°this just in¡± then a farting sound made by lips and Jacob and I is laughing hard at this and Jacob¡¯s voice comes on again ¡°yes ladies and gentlemen, you heard it first on Jacob TV, and now a message from our sponsors.¡± Jacob and me listen to ourselves and we is laughing too loud I guess for Momma comes bustin¡¯ in and says ¡°what you all doing in here! It¡¯s past one in the morning! You all get to bed! Now!¡±


    We hustle to our beds and Momma is shaking her head ¡°my God. You two do get up to some annoyances. I better not catch you awake in here again or I¡¯ll take the lightbulb out.¡± And she turns off the light and closes the door and me and Jacob is laying in our beds and Jacob whispers ¡°when you¡¯re climbin¡¯ up a ladder and you hear somethin¡¯ splatter¡± and I whisper back ¡°diarrhea¡± and we both laugh into our pillows.


    The Park


    Momma woke us up early the next day and the sun wasn¡¯t even hardly up yet. She seems in a good mood and we ain¡¯t seen Daddy in the house and his truck was gone so I expect Momma done made him get up for work early, just like she said. She makes us oatmeal and toast with cinnamon and sugar on it and sits us at the little table in the kitchen where we can look out on the backyard and the sun is just starting to shine in through the green curtains over the window and it takes on an alien glow and I like it best in here when the sun is shining through those curtains.


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    I like to take my time with eating the toast since we only got the two pieces each and I dunk it in the oatmeal and nibble around the edges and Jacob is just wolfing his to get it over with since he ain¡¯t like oatmeal too much. Momma meanwhile is packing some things in a bag and she¡¯s putting an apple and some celery and some peanut butter in along with the book she¡¯s reading and she says we all is going to the park today and she sure is in high spirits and I ain¡¯t seen her this happy in a while. Jacob and me is still sleepy since we done stayed up too late last night but we start to get excited since we ain¡¯t been to the park in a long while and only when Momma is feeling good enough to take us there.


    I pig down the rest of my cinnamon toast since I like the park even better then eating toast and Jacob is already done so I guess that¡¯s it, we is on our way. We ain¡¯t got but the one car and that¡¯s Daddy¡¯s truck and it¡¯s gone since he¡¯s at work, but the park we like to go to is close enough to walk and it¡¯s turning into a fine day and not too hot yet since the sun only just come up.


    We is halfway there and Momma is commenting on some flowers she seen in someone¡¯s yard and then I remember what all else is at this park we is heading to. Something which waits for me every time I¡¯m headed there and I only think about it when we is getting close, otherwise I would have begged Momma to take us to the other park even though it¡¯s further away.


    This here park has a big ol¡¯ metal slide and I¡¯m powerful afraid of that slide. I know I¡¯m bound to go down it even though I hate it and I can''t but not slide down it, especially since Jacob is going to be there and he¡¯ll call me a chicken if I don¡¯t. I start to lag behind a little bit and Momma hollers for me to catch up otherwise we¡¯ll never get there and I wish that were so. Jacob looks back at me with a shine in his eyes for he¡¯s older than me and can remember things like that slide and he¡¯s looking forward to seeing it. And he knows also that I hate it but am bound to slide it.


    We get to the park and Momma finds a bench facing the sun next to the playground and right away Jacob runs right up to the slide and climbs the thousand-foot ladder and he¡¯s an ant on the top of it and I cover my eyes for I can''t look at what¡¯s about to happen next. Jacob calls from a hundred miles away at the top and I peek through my fingers and he¡¯s up there, waving on down at me and he says ¡°watch this!¡± and grabs ahold of the railings on either side of the sittin¡¯ place and he uses them to lunge even faster down the slide and now I think Jacob is a crazy maniac and wants to die before lunch. He¡¯s screamin¡¯ ¡°Yee haw!¡± all the way down and his voice fades into the distance as the slide reaches the end of the earth and I know I?ain¡¯t never going to see Jacob again.


    He comes up to me at a jog and says ¡°boyy that sure was fun, looks like there¡¯s just enough room for another person to get on up there and go for a slide too¡± he looks at me expectantly and I look down away from the slide and say that today I¡¯m only going on the swings and maybe the teeter totter but only if he ain¡¯t make me go too high and Jacob says ¡°but look at that there slide, just waitin¡¯ for the right person to climb on up and go down her real fast and I bet you can go about 100 miles an hour and catch some air and land about all the way on the other side of the field even¡± and the slide is taunting me and I feel its wrath from where it sits and against my will I know I¡¯m bound to go on that slide.


    Jacob says ¡°here, I¡¯ll go on up with you if you¡¯re going to be a chicken about it and all¡± and I knew the chicken word was going to come up so I nod and I start to walk to my own death, again, before eating lunch and I was looking forward to celery with peanut butter on it. I get to the bottom of the ladder and it¡¯s not as tall as it looks from where I was standing.


    It''s taller.


    It reaches all the way into space and I¡¯m liable to choke up there since there ain¡¯t no air in space and everybody knows that. Jacob says ¡°just like you done before, start climbin¡¯ on up and keep your eyes on the ladder and don¡¯t look down none, otherwise you¡¯ll get struck with fear we¡¯ll have to call the fire department and tell them there¡¯s a cat stuck in a tree or something. If they catch wind there¡¯s just a chicken on a ladder, they ain''t? going to come.¡± He¡¯s right. I start to climb slow and I¡¯m only looking up the ladder and not down and he¡¯s climbing after me and kind of gives me taps on my foot from time to time to speed me up and I tell him to cut it out but that only makes him give me more frequent taps and this is going on forever.


    My foot slips and I can''t help but look down and Jacob is there smiling and past him I see a great abyss and if I were to fall now, I would put a hole in the Earth about the size of a house. I grab onto the ladder like life itself and Jacob says ¡°aw c¡¯mon, you¡¯re almost there. Hey! If you get on down that slide right quick, I¡¯ll even push you on the swings a little bit, give you an underdog and everything!¡± This is mighty big of Jacob since he ain¡¯t like to push me on the swings none since he already knows how to pump his legs just right to get swinging and he ain¡¯t know why I ain¡¯t caught on to the trick yet. Says Jacob ¡°you just get on to the top and when you do, only look at the top of the slide and nowhere else and then you cross your arms over your chest and shout ¡®Geronimo!¡¯ to show everything that you¡¯re not scared and I¡¯ll even give you a shove off at the count of three.


    That work OK?¡± and I nod that this is OK and I somehow make it to the top and Jacob is there behind me and I done like he said, I only look at the top of the slide and I cross my arms over my chest and I can''t look no more so I close my eyes and Jacob ain¡¯t even count, he just shoves and them I¡¯m sliding and it¡¯s over, like it always is and I feel a great relief that I¡¯m done and now Jacob is at the top and he ain¡¯t look as small as he did before and he¡¯s shouting ¡°Geronimo!¡± and I forgot to do that before but it¡¯s too late now I guess for I¡¯m not getting back up there for nothin¡¯. Here comes Jacob, barreling down at me and I dive out of the way just in time so as not to get clobbered and he¡¯s laughing and I hate this slide and whoever made it.

 Chapter 4: Hightailin’

    Now that the provin¡¯ time was over and the slide was asleep again, I get on over to the swings and Jacob does indeed push me a little, enough to get me up so that I can pump on my own and I say ¡°underdog! Gimme me the ol¡¯ underdog!¡± And he does and gives a big heave and runs underneath me and I push my head out so the chains of the swing disappear and I look straight up and there¡¯s the sky and the sun and everything is different up here and for a second, I¡¯m flying for real.


    Jacob stops pushing then and I see him run on back to the slide and I stay on the swings for a while since I think I¡¯m pumping good now and I ain¡¯t losing height like usual and for this I¡¯m proud. I stop after a while for it ain¡¯t as fun doing this all alone and Jacob ain¡¯t like the swings as much as me so I stop pumping and get off when the swing gets low enough and Jacob and I play on the teeter totter like I wanted and we go on the merry go round and take turns pushing each other in a circle.


    Momma is calling us over and I guess we¡¯ve been here? longer than I thought even though it seems like we just got here. We all sit on the bench in the sun and Momma passes us our lunch and there¡¯s the celery with peanut butter on it like I like but Momma snuck some raisins on it and she calls them ants on a log, but that was sneaky indeed for I ain¡¯t like raisins too well since they taste to me like an alien¡¯s idea of what sugar is supposed to taste like, but there ain¡¯t too many of them and I choke them down and I ain¡¯t want to complain too much since sometimes Momma will take us for ice cream after the park and she¡¯ll change her mind fast if we get to complainin¡¯ about things too much.


    We is all done now and the sun is already half up the sky and the time do slip away sometimes and Momma says ¡°OK, let¡¯s get a move on¡±. We is walking back but in a different longer direction and this is the way that goes past the ice cream shop and I get excited and look at Jacob and he knows the same thing I know and we wink at each other, but don¡¯t mention ice cream out loud since we ain¡¯t want to jinx it. We is getting close to the turning spot on to the main street when Jacob looks over and down a block and says ¡°hey, ain¡¯t that Daddy¡¯s truck over there?¡± and Momma says sharp ¡°where?¡± and Jacob points ¡°there, right next to that tree¡± and Momma is looking and sure enough, that¡¯s Daddy¡¯s truck.


    She ups her pace now and is walking right for it and we have to jog to keep up and I hope this ain¡¯t mean we don¡¯t get ice cream because Jacob interrupted the whole thing with his stupid eyes and now we¡¯re at the truck and Momma says ¡°just you two stay put here¡± and keeps walking right up to the house the truck is parked in front of. We see her knock on the door and after a while, it opens and she¡¯s talking to someone out of view and now she¡¯s walking inside and the door closes. ¡°What all you think is going on in there?¡± I whisper and Jacob says ¡°Maybe Daddy parked his truck here and done got a ride somewhere else for his job?¡± and that makes a good lot of sense now that Jacob says it out loud.


    We is still waiting and getting bored when we hear a squeak come from the side of the house and the side gate is opening slow, then we see Daddy crouch running by the side of the house and then is hightailin¡¯ to his truck and he¡¯s halfway in before he even notices us standing there, right beside it. ¡°Oh! Hey! My boys! There you are! That¡¯s good! Wait here though, I¡¯ll be right back!¡± and he starts the truck and heads on out and turns a corner out of sight. Just then Momma comes storming out of the house and says ¡°OK. Let¡¯s go.¡± and I¡¯m looking at the house and there¡¯s a man standing in the window holding a can and he ducks down quick once he sees that someone is looking at him, which I think is strange. We is hoofing it fast now and Momma says under her breath ¡°I knew he ain¡¯t have no job¡± and Jacob says ¡°what was Daddy¡¯s truck doin¡¯ at that house? Why he leave us there and not give us a ride or nothin¡¯?¡¯¡± and Momma says ¡°that there is Mitch¡¯s house. He¡¯s called Mitch the Bitch and a more befittin¡¯ name I cannot contrive of and they was both in there drinking beers since this morning¡±


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    Momma ain¡¯t never says bad words around us so she must be powerful angry and now I know we ain¡¯t getting'' no ice cream. We keep walking the long way though and I guess I was wrong because Momma heads right inside the shop when we get to it and the bell tinkles as we follow her in and it smells like warm sugar and everything is white and clean and this here is about my favorite place to be in the world. Right away, me and Jacob go up to the cold case so we can look at all the colors and different types of ice cream even though we always get the same kind every time. Maybe one of these times we¡¯ll try something different, but if we choose wrong, we¡¯ll end up with crummy ice cream and this is too precious of a chance to try new things.


    I ain¡¯t know how to read so I¡¯m just looking at the colors and guessing what all they might taste like and there¡¯s a bright blue one and I expect that¡¯ll taste blue and there¡¯s one that¡¯s chocolate color only with many chunks of what all I don¡¯t know inside and I expect that one will taste like eating gravel and I ain¡¯t never want to try that one. Momma is at the counter now and I plan on savoring mine and it¡¯s good they give such little spoons otherwise I would eat it so fast that a dog would be proud of my abilities. Momma knows what all flavors we usually get and she ain¡¯t need to ask but she does anyway ¡°Gabe, Jacob, what y¡¯all want¡± and I pretend to think it over real hard then come to choose ¡°bubblegum¡± like I always do since it¡¯s ice cream and also is bubblegum which everyone knows can last forever and I ain¡¯t know of anyone who shouldn¡¯t get bubblegum ice cream since it¡¯s pretty much two treats in one.


    Jacob says ¡°chocolate¡± and to me that¡¯s disgusting and I ain¡¯t want to eat nothing to do with chocolate but Jacob sure do like it. Alls I know is that I ain¡¯t giving him a taste of my bubblegum since I ain¡¯t want to eat none of his. Momma tells the smiling woman behind the counter ¡°three Scoops of bubblegum and three scoops of chocolate. And we¡¯ll get them in them brown cones¡± and Jacob and me is looking at each other since we ain¡¯t never get no cones except for on extra special occasions, and we ain¡¯t never got more than the one scoop that they put in a little cup. I ain¡¯t even know what to say.


    We is dumbstruck as the woman behind the counter hands us each our cones and mine feels heavy as anything and Jacob gets right to eating his while I look at mine in wonder and I wish ice cream didn¡¯t melt so I could take it home and just gaze at it from time to time, but it ain¡¯t so, so I get to licking around the edges so it don¡¯t run onto my hand and I do hate having sticky hands. Jacob has his chocolate ice cream all around his mouth and he eats it that way on purpose, as messy as he can for he knows it makes me uneasy and maybe one day I¡¯ll try it for it do look curious and maybe it does make it taste better.


    Momma pays the woman and she ain¡¯t get a cone, just me and Jacob and when I ask her why, she says she ain¡¯t hungry no more and had some things on her mind which was keeping her stomach from complaining. We all walk home and eating this ice cream is like climbing a mountain and I don¡¯t think I can eat no three scoop cone again for my stomach is feeling sick.


    We get home and Daddy¡¯s truck ain¡¯t there still so we all go inside and Momma tells us to play quiet in our bedrooms since she needs to go over to neighbor Charlene to use her phone and she won¡¯t be gone too long. ¡°And don¡¯t play with no matches while I¡¯m gone. I know how many matches we got left and I¡¯ll know if you boys are playing with them¡± and she side eyes Jacob in particular for he¡¯s the one that likes the matches the most and done started a small fire on the rug in the kitchen once and even now he has to ¡°earn back trust¡± from Momma and Daddy. Momma heads on out and Jacob and me go in our room and there ain¡¯t much to do and we is both feeling sickly from all that ice cream and we just lay on our beds instead of playing since I¡¯m feeling pukey and I ain¡¯t like to puke and puking is the worst smell in the world and I ain¡¯t never sure when it¡¯s going to happen so I¡¯m playing it safe.


    Momma is only gone for a few minutes and she comes back riled up again and is pacing in the house and cleaning things and moving things around and we know now is the best time for us to keep staying in our room.


    So we do.

 Chapter 5: Atomic Mac & Cheese

    Daddy¡¯s truck pulls up some time later and Momma has been listening for it for some time I guess since we hear her run to the door and Jacob gets up and closes the door to our room since he senses a storm a brewin¡¯ and he lays back down on his bed and puts his hands behind his head. ¡°welp¡± he says and I say nothing and I hear Momma and Daddy both coming into the house in mid talk only we can hear muffled ¡°buh buh buh blugh. Bu bub!¡± coming from behind the walls so it¡¯s no good trying to listen and we can pretty much guess it¡¯s the same thing what they was arguing about yesterday.


    After a while the mumbling stops and I feel like we¡¯ve been in here a good enough amount of time and I have to use the bathroom something fierce so I get up and open the door to our room and head on to the bathroom and Momma is sitting on the couch with her feet propped on the coffee table and Daddy ain¡¯t around and she ain¡¯t say nothing as I pass by.


    I finish up my business and walk through the living room and Momma says ¡°I ain¡¯t heard you wash your hands. Did you wash your hands?¡± and I turn right back around and wash my hands and walk back through the living room and Momma says ¡°well, you got any dinner ideas? It ain¡¯t have to be too much since It''ll only be you, me and Jacob since Ross is sleeping right now and probably won¡¯t make an appearance until tomorrow afternoon judging by the state of him¡±


    I ain¡¯t know what all state she means but I guess Daddy was sleepy so I say what I always say ¡°macaroni and cheese and hotdogs?¡± and she sighs and says all right and now that¡¯s two of the best things I can think of happening in one day what with the ice cream before and whatever is going on here I ain¡¯t too ashamed to admit that I like where it¡¯s heading. I run back to our room and I tell Jacob that we¡¯s having Macaroni and cheese and hotdogs for dinner and he says ¡±yesss!¡± and is excited too.


    I hear Momma banging away in the kitchen and I go out to see if she needs any help but really I¡¯m trying to sneak a raw hotdog which is my favorite snack. She¡¯s already cut up the hotdogs and put the whole ones back in the fridge and my she is fast and I ain¡¯t had no chance to snag one, but cooked is OK too, I guess. Pretty soon dinner is ready and me and Momma and Jacob is at the table and I¡¯m spooning in the yellow gold and salty dogs I seen that Momma even added extra food coloring to make the macaroni and cheese even more yellow and she calls this radioactive macaroni and cheese and I expect that I¡¯ll have super powers soon enough if I keep eating this.


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    Which I do.


    We is all done now and Momma says to just leave our things at the table and to go watch some TV and we ain¡¯t need to be told twice. Jacob gets there first and gets to turning the dial and he gets to pick for being number one to the T.V., which is fine since I like what Jacob likes and he settles on a show with talking stuffed animals that¡¯s a good one.


    We is zonin¡¯ out now real good and Jacob has the zombie eyes and so do I and it¡¯s getting dark but Momma ain¡¯t tell us to stop watchin¡¯ so we don¡¯t and I guess she¡¯s still in the kitchen but I ain¡¯t really paid too close attention since now our favorite show is on where there¡¯s pirates that float on a sea of black tar and one has a black pony tail that reaches all the way to his waist and a red pair of pants and an eyepatch and he sure do look menacing.


    A commercial comes on and I wonder if I can sneak in the kitchen and snag me a cold hotdog for a snack and I tiptoe over and look round the corner and Momma ain¡¯t in there so I sneak to the fridge and get me one of those wet dogs and am about to scurry back to the TV with my prize when I catch sight of Momma¡¯s head out in the back yard and she¡¯s sittin¡¯ on the stoop and I¡¯m torn for I want to eat this hotdog but I also ain¡¯t never seen Momma act the way she done today, so I careful put the hotdog in the silverware drawer out of sight so I can grab it up quick when I come back through.


    I walk to the door and open it and Momma looks back at me and is surprised, ¡°I though you and Jacob was watchin¡¯ the TV.¡± she says and is waving some smoke away from her face and is tossing something away from her like she ain¡¯t want me to see it. ¡°Is you smokin¡¯, Momma?¡± and I know Momma says smoking is bad and she ain¡¯t smoked in a long time and I ain¡¯t know what¡¯s the bad about smoking but she done said it so many times that it must be bad and I¡¯m concerned that she¡¯s doing something bad. ¡°Not no more¡± she says and sighs and it¡¯s dark black outside so you can''t even see the fence, only a square of light on the grass coming from the kitchen.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Gabe. I don¡¯t know what all we¡¯re going to do. Your Daddy done lied to us and ain¡¯t got no job after all and we¡¯s pretty soon not going to have lights on and that means no more TV too¡± and I say ¡°I can get a job. How you get one?¡± and she looks at me and says ¡°never mind, I ain¡¯t shouldn¡¯t aughta told you that. We is fine and you all just go back in there and watch TV with your brother. Ain¡¯t nothing bad going to happen. I was just foolin¡¯¡± and I ain¡¯t so sure but Momma wants to be alone and maybe to smoke some more and I¡¯m troubled but I ain¡¯t know what I¡¯m supposed to do, so I stand there for a while and am quiet and I hear Jacob call from inside ¡°you¡¯re gonna miss it! The black tar is up on the ship!¡±


    I forget everything out here and run inside and grab up the hotdog from the silverware drawer and get back in to watch that T.V. and munch on my cold dog and everything is fine just like Momma says.

 Chapter 6: He Done Died on the Slippery Grass

    Jacob and I fell asleep on the couch I guess since Momma is waking us up and the TV is on a show that sells things to people if you call them fast enough. She says quietly ¡°OK, time for bed you two.¡± and helps us up and we stumble to our beds with our clothes still on and we fall right asleep.


    The next day Momma is on the couch when me and Jacob get up and is still asleep which ain¡¯t usual since she¡¯s usually the first one up and I never seen her sleep on the couch before since that¡¯s Daddy¡¯s spot when they get to arguing at night. The door to Momma and Daddy¡¯s room is open and I take a quick peek inside and Daddy ain¡¯t in there what I can see but the bathroom door in there is closed and I can see a light coming from underneath it so maybe Daddy is in there. Jacob and I go to the kitchen and Jacob is taller and less sloppy so he¡¯s going to pour us some cereal since you¡¯re supposed to eat in the morning, but before he does, Daddy comes out and his hair is wet and combed and he has his shirt tucked into his pants and his eyes is red but he seems in good spirits. ¡°Hey there! Sorry I had to run off so fast yesterday! I had a very important errand to run and it couldn¡¯t wait no longer! What you all get up to after I done saw you?¡±


    We say not much and we were at the park and Daddy asks if I went down the slide and I proudly say I did and he says ¡°I knew it! You¡¯re a fearless one you are and that ol¡¯ slide is mighty easy once you finally make it to the top, ain¡¯t it!¡± and I nod and leave out the part about how terrible it was and Daddy goes on ¡°and what about you, Jacob? You get up to anything yesterday? Anything... fiery?¡± and Jacob also says proudly that he ain¡¯t touched no matches and ain¡¯t never going to light nothing on fire ever again and Daddy says ¡°that¡¯s good! Real good! I believe you!¡± and we¡¯s just all in the kitchen, chattin¡¯ and Momma shuffles around the corner and stands looking for a bit at Daddy, then she pours a bowl of cereal for herself and walks out and slams the door of the bedroom for I guess she wanted to eat in her and Daddy¡¯s room. Daddy looks at both of us and gives a big shrug ¡°wonder what got her all riled? Oh well. What you all want to do today? I got time off work already and we can go out and do something spectacular if we want. Got the whole day!¡± And me and Jacob is both nodding and Daddy ain¡¯t take us off to do things too much on account of how much he was working he says. ¡°Hot dog! Put that cereal back then! I¡¯m startin¡¯ by taking both of you out for a pancake feast!¡±


    Jacob and I both spring up and is hopping all around since Daddy is going to take us to the Whistle Stop Caf¨¦ where they have a little train under glass what runs all around in a circle forever and you can set your plate right on the glass and eat above the small world with the train running through it and the blue waters in that land are the bluest I ever seen and I can watch it for hours. ¡°Get y¡¯alls shoes on and let¡¯s blow this dump!¡± And while we is putting on our shoes Jacob asks if Momma is coming with us and Daddy says ¡°I don¡¯t know, let¡¯s ask her!¡± and he yells through the closed bedroom door ¡°hey! We all is going to the Whistle Stop to get us some pancakes!¡± and we all listen but there¡¯s no answer so Daddy shrugs and says ¡°I guess she ain¡¯t coming with. Let¡¯s go!¡±


    We head out but I¡¯m looking back at the closed bedroom door and it would be nice to have us all together at the whistle stop caf¨¦ but I guess she had enough of us yesterday. We all pile into the truck and Daddy gets her started up and he says, ¡°oh, one thing before we go to the whistle stop and eat up all the pancakes. I gotta meet up with someone real quick and it ain¡¯t going to take none too long. So, we get to driving and we is in the middle of the town now and it ain¡¯t take too long since our town is little from end to end and Daddy stops in front of a shop what has pictures of houses on it. He hops out and says ¡°you all wait right here; I¡¯ll be back in a jiff!¡± and slams the door and heads into the shop.


    Jacob and I is sitting there and we start talking about what we all want from the whistle stop and we both agree that we want pancakes but I say I want bacon to go with them and Jacob says he wants fruit for he likes strawberries on top of his pancakes. Daddy comes out then and is smiling like anything and he gets inside the truck and has some papers in his hand and he waves them in our faces. ¡°Here¡¯s our ticket! Here it is right here boys!¡± and I say ¡°what¡¯s that, Daddy?¡± and he says they¡¯s papers what will make us all happy and he ain¡¯t have to get no job and Momma ain¡¯t have to worry about nothin¡¯ and Jacob and me is both going to become strong men with these here papers he has and he said it¡¯s all due to his best friend in the whole world, Mitch the Bitch and life sure can be fortuitous when it wants to be. Daddy gives a big sigh of contentment and he says ¡°now let¡¯s get on over to that caf¨¦ and gobble their pancakes, that sound like a plan?¡± and Jacob and me both say ¡°yep!¡± at the same time.


    After we done ate, Daddy drives us straight home and I thought we was going to do more than going to breakfast but I ain¡¯t going to say nothin¡¯ for Daddy is in a good mood and has something on his mind, I can tell. He parks the truck and hops out and leaves the door open he¡¯s so excited to be back, and he runs into the house holding those papers on high and I have no idea what they is and I say to Jacob ¡°what all you think them papers is?¡± and Jacob says he don¡¯t know but he can read a little and he seen a sign on the shop that Daddy went in to what said REAL ESTATE and he ain¡¯t know what that is and I ain¡¯t never heard of that either so I guess we¡¯ll find out soon enough.


    We get inside and Daddy is knocking on the bedroom door what is still closed and Momma ain¡¯t coming out and Daddy is calling ¡°But I got somethin¡¯ for ya! Just come on out and see what it is!¡± and we hear Momma say from the other side ¡°if it ain¡¯t a real job then I ain¡¯t coming out and I ain¡¯t in the mood to see your face just now, Ross¡± and he says ¡°Robyn! You just get on out here now for I¡¯m your husband and I¡¯m the one in charge and I get to decide who all gets to look at faces and whatnot. I¡¯m the provider in this family like I done told you and I done some providin¡¯ today, so you just get on out here and see what I¡¯m providin¡¯!¡±


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    Momma throws the door open and says ¡°you can''t talk to me that way! Especially in front of the boys! You ain¡¯t own me and I done talked to my Momma on the phone yesterday and she said you¡¯re no good and never was and that I can take Gabe and Jacob on over there and me and them can live with her as long as we want, and she¡¯s got a bigger bed than we do and she got that tire swing in the back for the boys and she said she can get us over there as soon as today! I done talked to you last night when you finally got home and you was drunk and stupid and I ain¡¯t even know why I married you. You ain¡¯t even had a job back then and you still ain¡¯t got one!¡± Jacob and me is still standing there and not knowing what to do and Daddy turns to us and says ¡°you all go on outside and play now¡± and Momma says ¡°no! They ain¡¯t going outside to play, they need to know what all you been up to and how you been ¡®providin¡¯¡¯ for them by buying up beer and drinking it with Mitch the Bitch and pretending like you got a job when you ain¡¯t! Ain¡¯t that so?!¡±


    Daddy is taken aback and stands there quiet for some time and Momma ain¡¯t say nothing more and we is all standing there so long in the quiet that I forget what it is that we¡¯re all supposed to be doing and I get nervous like I¡¯m supposed to be doing something but Daddy finally talks, quiet and low and thoughtful. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I done lied to you¡± and gestures around.


    ¡°All of you. You¡¯re right and all seen me clear as anything yesterday. I was at the Bitch¡¯s house and we was drinkin¡¯ beers but only on account of how I needed to talk to him some about something I¡¯ve been thinking on for a good long time. I ain¡¯t should not have lied to get over there but if I told you where I was going, you wouldn¡¯ta let me go since I know you ain¡¯t like him too good¡±


    Momma scoffs ¡°that¡¯s an understatement¡±


    Daddy continues ¡°but Ol¡¯ Mitch, he got this grandpa what lived in the woods for about a million years and he used to go visit him when he was little only his grandpa done something to him so that he weren¡¯t allowed to go up there no more but he ain¡¯t said what all it was. That there very same grandpa got killed last week, falling down a hill on account of how slippery the grass was or some such, and he had a will which paid remembrance to Mitch which included his house and property and a pretty goodly chunk of change on top of that since that old man ain¡¯t bought nothing in his whole life except maybe toilet paper from time to time or some canned salmon. Doesn¡¯t matter. Either way, Mitch come upon that good dusty money and he says that that house and property still gives him nightmares and he ain¡¯t want nothing to do with it nor nothing to do with the thought of it, and since we is best pals and since he¡¯s got stacks of cash now, he done sold it to me for one dollar.¡± Momma is rolling her eyes and says,


    ¡°oh sure! Sure thing! You got us a house and you only paid a dollar for it! Sounds pretty good! Paid someone named Mitch the Bitch a dollar for a house! Bet that¡¯s some good house and boy I can''t wait to see how great it is!¡± Momma shakes her head and says ¡°you just get on out now and leave the boys. I¡¯m calling Momma when you leave and we is leaving you for forever. I¡¯m tired of your fat lies.¡± And she goes back in the bedroom and slams the door. Daddy looks back at us helpless ¡°but I done got us a house.¡± and we look every way but at Daddy and this here is something we would like to keep out of. Daddy calls through the door ¡°but I done got us a house!¡± but Momma is done replying and Daddy runs his hand through his hair and hangs his head. ¡°I done wrong by that woman. I done wrong.¡± and he stands there with his shoulders slumped. He takes the papers what are still clutched in his hand and slides them under the bedroom door and walks out of the house, turning to us before leaving.


    ¡°You all boys deserve better than this here and I sure am sorry about the way I am.¡±


    and Jacob and me stand there as he closes the door quietly and drives away in his truck. Jacob and I ain¡¯t sure what to do since Momma is in the bedroom and Daddy is gone, so we decide together to break the TV rule and we turn it on without permission and it¡¯s some kind of show with cars racing all around and we ain¡¯t sure if we like it or not, but it zones us out good enough. After a while, we hear rustling coming from Momma and Daddy¡¯s room and Momma comes out and is holding them papers Daddy slipped under the door. ¡°Where¡¯s your Daddy?¡± she says and Jacob says ¡°he done left a little while ago¡± and looks back at the TV and Momma stands there watching the show with us for a little bit before she says ¡°I¡¯m going to Charlene¡¯s to use the phone, you all just keep doing what you¡¯re doing. Jacob, you know what to do¡± and by that Momma still means no playing with matches and Jacob sighs.


    Momma leaves and I say ¡°this mean we is leaving and not living here no more?¡± and Jacob says that looks to be the size of it and I say ¡°you think we aught to dig up that mouse so we can bring it with us and bury it again so we can visit its gravesite more often?¡± and Jacob says with authority that the mouse was now in its final resting place and he done cursed the ground so anything ever digs it up will have their eyes fall out and will dangle there for all eternity. I ain¡¯t heard Jacob curse the grave when we filled it in, but that¡¯s good enough for me as I ain¡¯t want nothing digging it up and taking it away and maybe we can still visit it from time to time if Momma will take us.


    Momma is back sooner than last time and she sits on the couch next to us and looks around curiously. ¡°What y¡¯all get up to with Daddy today?¡± And we tell her that we done went to the Whistle Stop Caf¨¦ and ate about every pancake in the place and they¡¯ll probably have to close down the business on account of us, as least according to Daddy and she says ¡°that it? Nothin'' else?¡± and I disremember but Jacob does and says ¡°we done stopped at a little shop with pictures of houses on it what said REAL ESTATE but I ain¡¯t know what that is¡± and Momma says under her breath ¡°so he ain¡¯t lie for once.¡± and we all sit on the couch and watch TV and Momma is quiet and I say ¡°is we going to live somewhere else now with Gramma?¡± and Momma says ¡°no. Not no more.¡± and I say that¡¯s good because she makes me drink something called buttermilk and I¡¯m the most polite but it makes me gag. And Momma laughs at that but I ain¡¯t sure what¡¯s so funny and she says Gramma makes her drink it too and to her it tastes like thick rotten milk and I nod for that¡¯s what it tastes like.

 Chapter 7: He Ain’t Lie for Once

    Since I guess we ain¡¯t leaving now, Momma gets to going through the house and talking to herself, ¡°this we¡¯ll need¡± and ¡°this¡¯ll have to go¡± and I ain¡¯t sure what she¡¯s talking about and Momma and Daddy sure are confusin¡¯ at times so I¡¯ll just sit here and wait for them to do some more confusin¡¯ things and maybe they¡¯ll keep forgetting to tell us to go to bed or stop watching TV and this is good enough for me and Jacob.


    We watch TV until dark and Momma is watching with us again and we is snacking all day instead of eating meals and I like that better since we ain¡¯t have to take a break from TV and then Daddy¡¯s truck pulls up. I hop over to the window ¡°Daddy¡¯s back!¡± I call and I open the door a crack for him and sit back down on the couch. He comes in, but slow and he waves weakly at Momma ¡°hello¡± and she says ¡°hello¡± and Daddy sits on the couch and now we is all watching the ol¡¯ TV as a family. After a while, Momma looks over at Daddy and says ¡°I was all set to leave with Gabe and Jacob you know¡± and Daddy says he knows ¡°why ain¡¯t you leave after all?¡± and Momma says she was over to Charlene¡¯s to call her Momma when she decided to call his bluff and dialed the number on the papers he done slid under the door.


    ¡°What they say?¡± asked Daddy. ¡°They say you done bought a house from Mitchell Schwartsholm the Third for one dollar.¡± and Daddy says ¡°good. That¡¯s real good.¡± and Daddy gives a sudden laugh ¡°I ain¡¯t know that was Mitch¡¯s real name. He ain¡¯t never told me that.¡± Momma leans over and gives Daddy a hug and a kiss and says it¡¯s about time we all went to bed, and Jacob gives a big groan and I groan too but he still beats me and Momma snaps off the TV and makes sure the light is off in our bedroom real good this time.


    In the morning, Momma and Jacob and me have questions for Daddy for we ain¡¯t know what all is in store with the house, and we is all hopping around and asking questions and I want to know if it all has any secret walls and maybe an antler chandelier and Momma is wondering about a washing machine for we¡¯re bound to get our clothes dirty when we out tromping around out there in the wilderness.


    Jacob wants to know if theys any neighbors what we can play with but Daddy just smiles and tells us we¡¯ll see soon enough and we¡®ll be the most surprised we¡¯ve even been and probably ever will be even though Daddy ain¡¯t never see the house either and only has a description from Mitch the Bitch who apparently ain¡¯t seen it since he was a kid and ain¡¯t recollect so good on account of how he done blocked out most of them memories so he can¡¯t be haunted in his dreams so much all the time.


    ¡°Heard tell from ¡®ol Bitch that there¡¯s a right decent cabin out there with a goodly chunk of property where we can mosey to our hearts content and ain¡¯t even have to go to town unless we run out of them things what we can¡¯t make in the woods like maybe toilet paper and canned salmon, which is ironic seening as how that¡¯s all Mitch¡¯s grandpa ever did get as well.


    Maybe that means everything else can be got with our pure force of will and wrested from even the trees and animals themselves! Got that good soil for anyone who takes a notion to put in some seeds of plants and grow em up all fast and they¡¯s a good hearty stove inside for cookin¡¯ and drying off things like boots and also for curling up in front of with a good book or two iffn we take on the notion! So that¡¯s about the long and also about the short of it! We get on out there pronto! Today! Get on out there with all our stuff to that there place in the woods and get us started on making things from the soil and baking breads and sewing the hides of animals and the like into warm costumes! Here we go!¡± and Daddy grabs us all in a big hug and is happier even than when he used to come home in the night with sour breath and dirty boots and would dance on the coffee table for us.


    Now we all is scurring in and out of the house and Daddy is practically running out them things what we¡¯re going to need and we is putting our prized possessions on the lawn in front of the truck for a final inspection and we make quick work of it seeing as how Momma already gone through the house yesterday and made mental marks on all the things we¡¯ll be needing up there. We is taking a short break on the lawn and catchin¡¯ our breath and Daddy comes to Jacob and me and goes on one knee and looks up at us back and forth.


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ¡°This ain¡¯t no campin¡¯ trip now. This is for real and we¡¯re going for a good long time. Probably forever. Like I done said before, you two is going to be real men for it and are going to be banging on things with tools and sharpening things and bringing in food from the woods. Not like it is here where you can walk to the gas station for tootsie rolls any old time you like. This life we got now has too many options and eases and ain¡¯t providin¡¯ any kind of job I like because they¡¯s all too easy. I¡¯ll let you all in on a secret since you¡¯s on your way to manhood already. I ain¡¯t always fired like what I tell Momma. I always quit because they¡¯s all stupid and I¡¯m the one ought to be in charge. So King of the woods I¡¯ll be. King of the woods we¡¯ll all be.¡±


    We both nod and Jacob has a blue stuffed elephant in one hand kind of dangling there and Daddy gestures to it and says ¡°soon enough you all will be replacin¡¯ them stuffed animals with real life dead animals what we can toast over a fire and you¡¯ll be fiercely proud to provide for us all, and that sure do beat a fistful of hotdogs any day¡± which I¡¯m not too sure of since they¡¯s my favorite.


    Momma comes out of the house now holding a waffle iron and Daddy gives her a big hug and dips her sideways like a dance then holds her with one arm and gestures for us to come close and he holds me and Jacob with the other and he sighs big and hugs us all and stares up into the gray sky. Then he snaps out of his trance and says ¡°let¡¯s pile it all in! get a move on sos we can catch a sight of this here paradise in the woods!¡± We scurry around and load up the truck as high as she¡¯ll go with what all we¡¯re going to need and they¡¯s pretty much all the comforts of home but pretty soon the truck gets to creaking under the weight and Daddy says ¡°hold up! Hold er up now!¡± and gazes at the pile reaching to the sky and rubs his chin.


    ¡°This here truck ain¡¯t strong enough to carry all what we got in our house and now we¡¯s got to make some hard decisions. Just you all climb up now and start tossing things out for I expect the neighbors who is in the ratrace will appreciate some free things to put in their sad houses.¡±


    We all climb into the truck and reluctantly start tossing things out onto the yard with Daddy pointing and managering our selections. ¡°Ain¡¯t need no vacuum as we can make due with a big ¡®ol broom¡± he says to Momma and she sighs as she tosses in onto the yard. ¡°ain¡¯t need them there boxes of books for they is mighty cumbersome and is pretty much dead weight. Pick out three books each and the rest goes in the pile¡± and Jacob and me painstakingly pick through the boxes for we a like all them books but we eventually settle on ones we can¡¯t do without. Now Momma says ¡°what about you, Ross? What all we going to do with this rusty old engine what¡¯s been in the back yard and has a nest of birds in it? That there weighs a solid ton and ain¡¯t going to be of no use to us out in the middle of nowhere.¡±


    Daddy looks mighty sorrowful for he was planning on fixin¡¯ it up into some kind of farm equipment of the like he ain¡¯t sure of yet. ¡°That there is one of my prized possesions and she ain¡¯t need too much to get her operational. Just a few squirts of oil and a bg ¡®ol piece of metal to bang away on her to show her who¡¯s the boss.¡± But Momma crosses her arms and says ¡°I done got rid of my favorite vacuum and these here boys got rid of them books they like so you¡¯s got to make some sacrifices too and that¡¯ll clear up some room for the rest of our beds since I ain¡¯t even going to come close to sleeping on no floor in a cabin in the middle of the woods. And come hell or highest of waters, we all need to bring that couch sos we can all sit as a family in front of the T.V. should the nights get unbearable.¡±


    Daddy opens his mouth to complain but Momma shoots him a look with her arms crossed and he remembers how close he was to losin¡¯ his whole family yesterday and he smiles instead. ¡°you sure are right, this here has to go¡± and he straddles the giant engine and huffs and puffs and lurches it to the end of the truck bed and gives it a final mighty heave and it tumbles out onto the street with a rusty clang that makes me cover my ears.

 Chapter 8: Sewing Needle Cats

    We is all done loading up the truck with as much as we can carry and Daddy dusts off his hands and says ¡°that¡¯s it! Get ready for your new lives in the land what was promised! Get on up in here and let¡¯s all skedaddle!¡± But Momma wants to take one more look at the house and say goodby and Jacob and me want to do the same now that Momma says it for we ain¡¯t never going to see it again. Daddy says ¡°well get on going then, take you one last look but don¡¯t take too long! This here house in the woods is deep deep in and we ain¡¯t want to get up there in the dead of the night as I want to see her all clear and in the day so I can start plannin¡¯ right away.¡±


    Daddy waits in the truck with the radio on while we all go inside to say goodbye. Jacob and me go straight to the back yard and stand by the grave of the mouse and both say goodbye forever. Then we look into our room and it¡¯s bigger now without nothing in it, and Jacob says we ought to leave something secret for the next people to find when they move in here. We both get to thinkin¡¯ about what we would like them to find and we agree upon a small marble with a red stripe through it like the eye of an evil goat. We put it under the edge of the carpet and maybe someone will find it a hundred years from now and that¡¯s sure something to think about. We is all done and Momma is waiting in the living room for us and she takes our hands and leads us outside into the brown of the grass and the gray of the yard and we all pile into the truck.


    We drive away and Daddy honks the horn at the house and we all say goodbye at the same time. Daddy is driving out of town past the playground and I see the slide standing there like a tall gravestone and I stick my tongue out at it in defiance and if I wasn¡¯t happy about leaving, I am now for I ain¡¯t never have to see that slide again for the rest of my life if I don¡¯t want to. We is out of town now and into to the countryside where there¡¯s cows and openness and we have the windows down and a hot breeze comes in smelling like tall hay and dust.


    Travelin¡¯


    I lose track of time and we¡¯re turning down a dirt road with fields all around. I only saw one house way off across a yellowing field in a stand of trees, then it was quiet driving again and no other houses in sight. I wake up and I guess I fell asleep for a while and we¡¯re on another dirt road surrounded by trees about a thousand feet high and they¡¯s black shadows.


    ¡°There he is!¡± Daddy is smiling and looking at me and he has a map on his knee. ¡°Been out for a while Scamp-o, we took us some wrong turns and you sure did miss a sight! We come around a corner and seen something like a horse only about twelve feet tall with big hand shaped horns the size of servin¡¯ plates on its head¡± he puts his hands on his head and splays out his fingers to demonstrate and makes a grunting and bellowing sound and that makes me smile. ¡°Lord they have some strange horses out here I guess! Here we are right in the middle of nowhere where the horses are growin¡¯ to be giants! That¡¯s good! Means we¡¯re in for some good fresh air which¡¯ll probably have you two tall enough to reach apples from the tops of trees without needing a ladder! Get you grown real big!¡±


    Momma leans over to me and says it¡¯s called a moose.


    I¡¯m sure sorry I missed that for they¡¯s pretty much magical beasts and I ain¡¯t never seen one in real life, only on the T.V. but they was small on account of them being in a box in our living room. We¡¯s driving for a while more, just looking out at the wilds and we round a bend and there¡¯s a straight stretch of road and on the left is a small opening cut in the trees. Daddy passes it by slow and says under his breath that this could be the place. He stops and backs up the truck and shouts ¡°this is it!¡± and he taps his map on his knee then flings it behind him.


    Momma reaches back and folds it neatly.


    We pull in and drive a ways to a clearing, and in the middle of that clearing is a tiny slumped house what looked like it was dropped from a great height. Roof shingles lay all about like a deck of scattered cards and around the bottom of the house is moldy hay bales what Daddy recons out loud are there to keep the wind from going underneath. The roof is rust patched in places and cats are hunched up all over the front porch and were slinking in and out from under the house like sewing needles.


    Daddy comes to a hard halt in front so we all are flung forward into the sun cracked dash except for Daddy who is hopping out of the truck with a whoop, and if he had a hat on he would probably have thrown it in the air. The rest of us shuffle and slide out across the rough fabric bench seat and Jacob and Momma is standing looking at the house. I¡¯m looking around the clearing and see piles of high rubble, and dark green trees with the bark peeling off in strips. I feel the weight of the trees around me standing like tall wild rotting animals, and it feels like they¡¯re watching us.


    Momma has a wide-eyed look and a smile shellacked on her face and Jacob is looking at the piles all over the clearing now too and they¡¯s full of metal chunks and sagging boards, and I think what looks like a broken bike that got twisted into the shape of a folded pair of spectacles. Daddy is already in the house, and I can see him at the front window and he¡¯s waving at us all through the dusty glass. He pops out and jogs at us, ¡°you all seen me waving at you through our new window? What it look like from out here?¡± Momma says it looked real good, and natural, like we¡¯ve been here for a good while longer than just the one minute. I say it was the best wave I ever saw and Jacob is nodding too and Daddy gives a big satisfied sigh and says he knew it would look alright. ¡°Just fine. What a perfect window to gaze out of at the trees. All right! Let¡¯s get movin¡¯! We better get us busy for the long night ahead! Ain¡¯t this some adventure!¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    He starts giving orders and he has Momma unload the mattresses into the house first, just in case it starts to rain, even though the sky is clear. ¡°Careful!¡± He has his hands on either side of his head. ¡°Carefu,l careful, woman! You know we need those mattresses at one hunnert percent! Ain¡¯t no rips at all, for there ain¡¯t no mattresses out here in the wilds! You want to sleep in a tree, woman!¡± He shakes his head sadly, but Momma starts carrying them so carefully that he can''t help but get his spirits lifted. He gives me and Jacob jobs too.


    ¡°You there ol¡¯ Gabester! Just you get to Scamping out there a little bit¡± He points in a vague direction into the woods, ¡°get on out there and find us something we can put in our mouths, and maybe something else to make a fire out of, elsewise we¡¯re in for some wild times this here night. But don¡¯t get out farther than what I can hear you yell for help. I seen some vicious animal signs like big turds and scratches all over the trees and everything is more hungry out here, would probably drag you off to a cave and eat you slow so you¡¯ll last longer.¡± He gives me a big slap on the back and yells ¡°Attaboy! Get to it!¡± I lope off in a general direction away from the house, and he gives Jacob his job and it¡¯s digging in piles for useful scraps. Daddy starts hopping around and seems very excited.


    Jacob commences to scrabbling though the first pile he comes to and starts pulling things off it and there¡¯s some more things underneath what ain¡¯t so rusty and rotten. He finds half a doorknob and a long green pipe and it catches ol¡¯ Daddy¡¯s eye and he yelps ¡°Prosperous we are already! Just you keep digging in that pile! Look for things what we can sell too! You¡¯re a real prospector if I ever seen one! That there is copper if I ever seen it!¡± Jacob is beaming and doubles his efforts, digging through that pile like a bear on a rotten log what is lookin¡¯ for some good grubs to eat. Daddy struts in triumphant circles and Momma sure is putting those mattresses and what all we brought up here inside the house real good, and Jacob is the best at digging in piles.


    I¡¯m at a jog inside the woods, looking left and right for anything that looks good to eat. I¡¯m not sure what all it looks like, but I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll know it when I see it. I¡¯m also looking around for wood creatures that survive by eating small and easily caught things like me, like what Daddy warned me about. I see some sticks that look like I can carry them, so I grab them up in my arms and I expect we¡¯re going to have a roaring fire with em¡¯ when I get back. I¡¯m looking and looking still because now we need food, and I spy a log with beautiful red mushrooms poking off of it and they look like a picture book. I pick great handfuls and I take off my shoes and socks and commence to filling the socks with the luscious red treasures and I put my shoes back on over my naked feet and hightail it right back the way I came, running, this time for I was excited to show what I done found already for the family.


    I reach the clearing and Jacob is still on a pile. He¡¯s got a few blackened pieces of wood next to the pipe and the half doorknob he found and he¡¯s still going at it strong. Momma is done emptying the back of the truck and Daddy is nowhere in sight, and I¡¯m looking all around for I want him to be the first to see what I brung from the deep dark woods but I still ain¡¯t seen him.


    I shield my eyes to help with the looking and I hear laughing from above and it¡¯s Daddy in a tree. He¡¯s held fast with one hand on the trunk and waving with his other. ¡°Haw Haw! I seen you before you seen me!¡± His foot slips and he drops onto the next branch down and I hear his teeth click together even from here. I look at Jacob and he¡¯s wincing. Daddy is climbing back down now like a cat on a greasy ladder and looks anxious now, for the bottom branch is maybe higher than he reckoned when he first climbed up. He stands there on the bottom branch looking for a way down. We clap encouragement at him until he jumps down about ten feet and lands on one foot crooked and goes sprawling and tears a hole in his pants.


    ¡°Three point landing! Easy as anything if you know how to do it! And I do! Now let¡¯s see what y¡¯all¡¯ve been up to!¡± He dusts off his pants and spats red in the direction of the tree, then puts his hands behind his back in inspectin¡¯ mode and he walks to Jacob and his pile, nods once. ¡°I see that pipe which is worth about a million dollars, and that wood is gonna be mighty useful, and that doorknob can be used for all types of interesting things. The least being to turn it and open something, and the most being something what we can use to hunt. Put it right inside a long sock and kill anything dead like David and Jariath. Or Jarreth. That one fukkin¡¯ whopper of a giant with big metal ankle pads like a soccer player what is in the bible¡±


    Jacob is mighty pleased with this for he done his job proper. Daddy walks to me and looks at the items what I gathered for the feast. He sees my two small socks dangling low like long birds'' nests, all full of red mushrooms, and the sticks for a fire. He says ¡°them mushrooms is looking like something a chef in one of them far off fancy countries would pay top dollar for, and that¡¯s no lie. Those funguses look ripe enough to put in a magazine! Bravo!¡± Daddy then gives a great big whistle and Momma comes running from inside the house and she¡¯s wearing an apron, and is patting it down and wiping her hands on it to smooth some wrinkles. Daddy says ¡°what you been up to ol¡¯ girl?¡±


    Momma points proudly at the front window, and we see she¡¯s wiped it clean so that it¡¯s shining in the daylight and clear as water. Daddy gives a big sigh and a tear comes to his eye and he whispers ¡°Just so. I done waved out that window for the first time, and now we see the fruits of our labor already.¡± Momma is beaming. Daddy says it¡¯s now time to get inside, for the sun was dipping behind the trees and the sky was gray and looked like it was fixin¡¯ on tumbling into a dark one. We all needed to get inside to hunker against the dangerous animals until they knew who the bosses were.


    We all walk inside, pushing away the growling cats with our feet since they ain¡®t want to give way for us non too much. I say ¡°kitty kitty kitty¡± to one, nice as you please, for I like cats and I can charm them, but it hisses at me and slinks away, looking back with a frown and a twitchy crooked tail. He¡¯s got a bald patch on his flank like he rubbed up against a pair of hair clippers.


    Momma and Daddy and Jacob are inside now, and the cats are closing in on me. A big orange tabby with a missing ear and a milky white eye is sitting there staring at me like it¡¯s the boss. I hiss at it and it flounces off into the wilderness, and I slip inside and close the door so no cats get in. I¡¯m the king of these woods. Like Daddy says.

 Chapter 9: The Great Poisoning

    I set down my load of sticks and mushrooms on the floor and we is all wandering around looking around our new house. In the corner is an old green oil drum on its side on top of cinder blocks for a wood stove, and attached to a hole on top is coffee cans stacked to make a chimney and where the last can meets the roof is wrapped in newspaper and some old shirts.


    At the far side of the room is a big stack of small carrier crates and inside those crates is filled with cat poops and it smells like a musty old cave in here what an insane badger has been living in for a while. I guess at some point ¡®ol Mitch¡¯s grandpa done let out all the cats to fend for themselves. There¡¯s a small kitchen next to the window Daddy had waved out of with a sink underneath and behind the sink was a green stove covered in a big blackened patch. Daddy leads us all to the opening next to the car carriers and it don¡¯t have no door on it and it leads deeper into the house and there¡®s an empty room with fiberboard floor and a window opposite the front that looks out on a tiny shack with a high roof and rough boards.


    Daddy says that¡¯s the poopin place and that¡¯s next on the tour and we can''t use the toilet in the small bathroom off the kitchen yet since it ain¡¯t been tested and might blow up while we¡¯re sittin¡¯ on it.


    There¡¯s another opening at the far side of this bedroom that leads to the end of the house which is a long thin bedroom that stretches the length of the house and Daddy says this room is for him and Momma since they¡¯s in love and need their privacy. We all walk back to the front room and there¡¯s an oval table missing a leg next to the green stove but I see the other leg is next to the oil drum woodstove and maybe it¡¯s for poking at things in the fire as the end that usually meets the floor is blackened and covered in ash.


    ¡°Ok!¡± Daddy says ¡°and now for the grand tour of the outdoor crapper!¡± He leads us all to the tiny shack behind the house and opens the door with a flourish and there¡¯s two holes next to each other and Daddy says ¡°all the comforts of home!¡° And I peer in one of the holes and see a tower of poop that leads down into the dark and I can''t see the ground and it¡¯s a spooky turd tower and it¡¯s big enough down there in the hole for something to hide in, and I think that something is likely going to grab my butt if I ever use this turd shack, especially in the dark.


    ¡°Two holes even!¡± Daddy says excitedly ¡±now we ain¡¯t have to wait for each other, can just go at the same time!¡± and Momma says she ain¡¯t poopin¡¯ next to Daddy and he looks sad and says it was supposed to be romantic and we¡¯s all standing there and there¡®s not much more to look at inside there so Daddy leads us back to the house. We get inside and Daddy rubs his hands and points to the woodstove ¡°get on over there ol¡¯ Scamp and get them sticks inside because we¡¯re due for a blaze after so much work outside and we all need something cozy to look at seeing as how that¡¯s God¡¯s T.V. set right there. Put them victuals on this table and we¡¯re about to have a feast!¡±


    I hurry to the woodstove and toss the sticks I had gathered inside, then proudly dump out my socks, filling up a pot Momma had put on the table and Momma commences to arranging them inside so they look fancy and Daddy goes to the fire and calls Jacob over to show him something crafty. ¡°See here Jacob. You need some sticks and whatnot to make it fiery inside this barrel and that¡¯s where the heat is going to come from and that¡¯s how it¡¯s done in the woods. We ain¡¯t need no matches out here for that¡¯s for city folk¡± and Daddy winks at him.


    Jacob is nodding and had a gleam in his eye for he loves fire. ¡°Now grab these sticks and all you have to do is hit them together real hard I guess and they¡¯ll go up nice as you please!¡± Jacob grabs two sticks out of the barrel stove and I¡¯m jealous because I¡¯d like to fire it up seeing as how I got the sticks, but Jacob found the million-dollar pipe and a doorknob for clobbering animals and he do take to fire strongly so I guess its ok since Momma is fussing so much about the mushrooms I found.


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Jacob hits them sticks together and nothing happens except for the sound of two sticks hitting together. ¡°Nope! Let me show ya!¡± and Daddy snatches them from Jacob and commences to whacking them together extra hard but nothing is happening for Daddy either but he exclaims ¡°see here! See that spark what popped off this one stick on the left?¡± and Jacob is looking closely but didn¡¯t see it ¡°you gotta look close! Watch!¡± and he bangs them together again and now we¡¯re all looking close but we ain¡¯t see no sparks, and Daddy gets upset and he gets up from a crouch and heads for the door.


    Jacob moseys over to Me and Momma by the pile of mushrooms but Momma says not to touch nothin¡¯ before Daddy gets that fire going because she wants to make a soup. We wait a while and Daddy ain¡¯t come back but we hear muttering coming from outside and maybe a swear or two and then Daddy is running inside and one of the sticks is on fire and he¡¯s cackling as he runs and throws it inside the woodstove and as he¡¯s passing by I smell something like the gas Daddy puts in the truck.


    ¡°See! Just takes some woodsman type voodoo! Knock the sticks together I say! Easiest thing in the world!¡± Now the fire is going ok but the smoke is coming from the opening of the stove and Daddy says we¡¯ll soon fix that right up and he gestures for Momma and snaps his fingers, ¡°quick quick!¡± And she says ¡°what? What you snappin¡¯ at?¡± and Daddy says ¡°I got to have a cover for this thing before we all choke to death!¡± Momma is looking all around but she ain¡¯t find nothing so she takes off her apron and hands it to him with a suspicious look in her eye. He grabs it from her and drapes it over the barrel opening and it helps some with the smoke although the apron is now steaming dangerously. ¡°well, what we waiting for!¡± Daddy says ¡°let¡¯s get to eatin¡¯ that delicious woodfood! I can''t wait!¡±


    Momma proudly brings over the mushrooms I found and looks around but don¡¯t see nothing she can add in for a soup like what she wanted to do so now we¡¯re going to do barbecue since she done overlooked the spices and they¡¯s still sitting in a cupboard in the kitchen in our old house.


    Momma quick grabs a stick out of the fire before it¡¯s all burned up and starts to stick them mushrooms on it like a kebab and the apron covering the stove is in flames now and we is running all about so Daddy quick shoves it inside with the fire pokin¡¯ table leg and the smoke billowing out now is black and and I guess Momma ain¡¯t got no apron any more. ¡°Hot dog! Exciting!¡± Daddy says ¡°now get that food stick in that fire and let¡¯s eat eat eat eat eat eat!¡± Daddy is jumping all ¡®round the room shouting, ¡°eat! Eat! Eat!¡± and Momma is roasting the mushrooms and now is juggling the flaming mushroom stick over to the three leg table and we all gather around and Momma says Daddy should have the first bite seeing as how he was doing so much work today but Daddy says no way.


    ¡°You three made me proud with your wood knowins¡¯ and it would be an honor if you all done take the first bite together while I watch.¡± Me, Momma and Jacob each pick a blackened mushroom off the stick and we wolf them right down and the texture is like wet leather and they have a sharp warning flavor to them and I¡¯d like to spit them out but after you chew them they¡¯s ok enough I guess but Momma¡¯s face is pale and Jacob is coughing.


    ¡°Hot dog!¡± Daddy says ¡°them sure do smell good, gimme a taste!¡± and he hops in and snags a few of the mushrooms off the stick too and he¡¯s munching them right down. He gets a look on his face with his cheeks puffed out like he¡¯s having a hard time convincing his throat to swallow but he pounds his chest and gets it down ok. ¡°whoo but these here have a powerful kick. Any of y¡¯alls mouths is tingling? Just curious.¡± Then he runs to the sink and turns it on and shoves his lips right under the spout and he¡¯s drinking for a good while and now we is all lined up at the sink waiting for our turn for all our mouths is burning and tingling and we all drink about a gallon of water apiece.


    The fire dies down too fast for I guess I ain¡¯t bring enough sticks and the cold comes upon us and we all pile onto the stack of mattresses Momma unloaded, taking turns getting up to run outside and puke into the darkness by the house so pretty soon it looks like someone¡¯s been sloshing green and brown paint everywhere.


    We is all shivering and our stomachs are full of spikes and our breath close together smells like a dying thing and Daddy says in a weak voice that I done good getting us dinner, and tomorrow he¡¯ll do the honors of getting us breakfast from the woods and them mushrooms were real good, but maybe they was an acquired taste of which he ain¡¯t quite accustomed to just yet.

 Chapter 10: Go Get that Corn

    Me and Momma and Jacob all wake up the next morning and we¡¯re stiff and still stomach achy from the eating of the wilds. Daddy has already been up and was tinkering around with the cat cages. ¡°You¡¯re up! I done thought up some things while you all were sleeping! I was in that truck what with the radio on the show what they sell tractors and tell all about lost dogs and a couch some ol¡¯ grouch called Georgie is selling and the like and right as I was about to turn it off and get you all up, I heard one of them fellas on the radio talking about cornflakes, and I get to thinkin¡¯, and my mind was a white hot fire with the idea what I come up with. We need us some corn! Real corn! Like the kind of corn that you put inside the ground and it comes up with even more corn! I figure we¡¯re about to be rich with corn pretty soon. And Momma!¡±


    He pointed at Momma, ¡°you is in charge of putting the corn in the ground. And Jacob!¡± he clapped his hands in applause ¡°you is in charge of digging small-like thumb sized holes to put the corn in! And you! Gabe! The Scamp!¡± he stomped his feet like a drumroll ¡°you is the one going to make sure nothing gets at the corn! No birds! No deers! No other plants what can choke a corn! While you all been sleepin¡¯, I been fixin up these here cat carriers and now they¡¯s pretty much like brand new now, and I expect along with that pipe what Jacob found together with these here carriers, they¡¯ll fetch a pretty price so we can get some corn for us! Straight up trade em¡¯ all for that corn! These here all will give about 8,000 kurns which is what theys called when they is small enough to put in the ground and all we gotta do is wipe off the ground out there, and put em right in! Will be snackin¡¯ on all kinds of corn in likely two or three weeks is what we¡¯ll be doing!¡±


    Daddy is rubbing his hands together with glee and he stands there doing that for a while then stops and stares at the ground for a while with an empty look on his face. We all wait for him to say more but he¡¯s probably deep in thought figuring out how he¡¯s going to do this thing. About ten minutes passes and we¡¯re all still sitting there and Momma clears her throat and Daddys head snaps up ¡°what you say? Whattsit?¡± and Momma holds out her hands in a shrug and he looks at her for a while and then gives his head a shake and the blank look goes away and he¡¯s smiling now only curious like he ain¡¯t sure how he got there.


    He says ¡°welp! I best be off! Time to get us something to fill us up all the time while we carve out a little place in these here woods!¡± Daddy''s outside now and in the truck and is blatting away backwards down the driveway and is gone. I wonder how he¡¯s going to get all that corn if he¡¯s left the cat carriers. Maybe he¡¯ll get the corn on credit and will bring them down later, but he¡¯s roaring back up the driveway and brakes right next to the house and is back inside ¡°cat carriers please! Get em! Stack em! Get em on in!¡± and we scramble over to them and each grabs a couple and he says ¡°nawp! Like a bucket brigade is how you do it! Get in line and pass em along right quick! Got business to get to!¡± So we line up and I¡¯m handing them to Jacob who¡¯s handing them to Momma who puts them in the truck and again and again until all that¡¯s left on the floor is ghosts of cat carriers leaving brown and hairy rectangles and Daddy is back in the truck and is off again and we see the back of the truck disappear and we all look around at each other.


    Momma is in charge now.


    ¡°This is what we¡¯re doing today¡± she says, ¡°we¡¯re tackling that job so we¡¯ll be ready when Daddy gets back with a truck full of corn.¡± Jacob wonders if we can have some food first and Momma says ¡°well, let¡¯s look right into that, let¡¯s see what we got.¡± And we wander around the house, checking the corners and under the table and in the dusty cupboards and her hands are on her hips as she slowly revolves in the middle of the room, searching the walls and says ¡°I ain¡¯t too hungry, who¡¯s hungry in here right now?¡± and me and Jacob both raise our hands and she nods and says ¡°now let¡¯s see what all we can muster around here until Daddy gets back. Jacob, you get on outside and peep around the house, see if you can find some things to munch on.¡±


    This is fair seeing as how I brought back poison mushrooms for dinner last night and since Jacob is older, he¡¯s probably smarter about what all we can eat without getting sick. ¡°Imma find something sure as anything!¡± Jacob says and scurries out the door and starts nosing around the house hungrily. I throw up my hands ¡°what I do Momma?¡±


    Momma puts on a hard thinking face and rubs her chin ¡°now let¡¯s see. Name your skills¡± and I list them off. ¡°Good at looking in cracks, good at stacking rocks, I can do six pushups all at the same time...¡± she cuts me off ¡°that¡¯s real good, that¡¯s a real good start. Tell you what, why don¡¯t you wander around out there and peer into some cracks for us for I know for a fact that Mitch¡¯s grandpa let them cats roam free and I seen cat paw tracks all about this place and maybe they¡¯s caught something and hid it for eating later, like a kitty refrigerator¡± I laugh at this real hard and Momma is laughing and she says to get on outside now and start peeking around too, like Jacob and I set outside right quick because I want to find something before Jacob does to make up for us barfing all night and my mouth still had a taste of red evil from those mushrooms.


    I¡¯m outside now and I seen Jacob has moved some of the moldy hay bales away from the house and is peering thought the opening to underneath and it looks spooky and Jacob wonders if that¡¯s where all the spiders go when it gets dark outside and I think it very likely and then he is wondering if you can eat a spider.


    ¡°I think you can eat pretty much anything out here if it¡¯s moving around a bit, and maybe they¡¯ll be an easy catch since they¡¯re probably sluggin¡¯ around in the cold under there and Jacob agrees and he spits and rubs his hands together like we seen on T.V. when a hero is about to do something brave. He gets on his hands and knees and is gone from sight just like that. I¡¯m on the hunt in the yard now, scouting around for some likely cracks where something might have hid a morsel for later. I spy a fresh hole of dirt coming out of the ground and I lean down and listen for something, maybe a chirping or a squealing but I ain¡¯t heard nothing so I reach slowly into the hole and my arm is elbow deep and I touch something cold and hard and I grasp it out real quick before I lose my nerve and I drop it fast.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    I look down and it¡¯s covered in dirt, but I see white poking out and I brush it off some with my sleeve and there¡¯s two round holes about as big as dimes on it. I finish wiping it with a corner of my shirt sleeve and it¡¯s the head of something I think. I grab it proudly for maybe there¡¯s something we can eat off it and I rush back to the house and inside to show Momma. I run right inside and shout ¡°look what I found! In a hole! I reached right in and I wasn¡¯t even scared and then this came out and now here it is!¡± I present it to her and she takes it and says ¡°why, that¡¯s a cat skull and I¡¯d say we¡¯re in for a treat seeing as how we can mash it open and maybe they¡¯s something inside its head we can nibble on!¡± I¡¯m beaming at Momma and she¡¯s smiling and showing her teeth and I see something brown between the two front ones and some ashes around her mouth. When she sees me looking at her mouth and not her eyes she brushes it with a sleeve and says that these darn ashes get everywhere and I better check on Jacob to see what he found too.


    I¡¯m happy that I found the cat skull and maybe they¡¯ll be more on account of how Momma says there¡¯s about a million cats wandering around here and they¡¯re probably mean so they¡¯ll be ok if we need to eat them.


    I head on outside and over to the opening that leads under the house and I peer in a bit and call out ¡°Jacob! Seen anything tasty under there? I got me a cat skull what we can probably smash open and eat the brains!¡± I say proudly. I hear a muffled sound under the house coming from the far corner and a lean in more to try to catch a glimpse of him but I ain¡¯t see too well that far away on account of how dark it is, so I get down and start to crawl into that adventure area which was dusty but at least weren¡¯t muddy so my pant knees wouldn¡¯t get wet so that was ok.


    I call out again and I hear him ¡°I¡¯m under a pipe and stuck! Pull on my legs some and I¡¯ll show you what I found!¡± so I crawl on my belly over to where I hear Jacob and I see his legs sticking out under a black pipe so I takes each one in my hands and give a yank and the pipe moves toward me and he slides a little.


    ¡°More! I got something in my hands what is heavy and you need to pull about twice harder than what you pulled!¡± I gathers my strength and give a big yank and one of his shoes almost comes off and it smells like cabbage to me but he''s pulled out enough to wiggle backwards now and there¡¯s something big in his hands but I can''t make it out in the darky must. He says ¡°we¡¯ll hightail it and crawl backward like cowboys!¡± and we both done that until we get to the entrance and it was fun.


    I come out first and I¡¯m dusting off and Jacob¡¯s feet come out first, then his legs and I grab a handful of dirt and put it on his back where his shirt come up and I hear a yelp from under the house and I laugh like I don¡¯t ever remember laughing before and Jacob comes out and is looking mad but he also thinks it¡¯s funny and now he can pay me back the same way sometime, so that¡¯s good. ¡°Look here!¡± and he holds up proudly what he found in the corner of under the house and it¡¯s draped over his hands and it¡¯s something like I never saw before, and it¡¯s stiff and white and has a mouth full of needles.


    I take a step back and Jacob holds it by its mouth and opens and closes it and says, ¡°eatin¡¯ on ya! Ya ya!¡± and he chases me around a bit with it and I¡¯m out of breath with laughing and I forget how hungry I am and Jacob is laughing so hard he ain¡¯t make a single noise, just wheezing and with a big red face. He finally catches his breath and picks up the creature where he dropped it on the ground while he was busting a gut and he dusts it off so we can get an even better look. I¡¯m about done laughing but I still get the hee haws and my eyes are watering and I croak out ¡°what in all Jesus on high is that what you found, Jacob? Hee Haw!¡± and Jacob gets to laughing again for he has the funny hee haws now too and about anything we say for a while will get us going again and he¡¯s laughing just out his nose and that strikes me funny now and I have to look away because those funny hee haws is catching back on me again.


    We settle down a bit and get into serious mode since we ain¡¯t seen the likes of this thing before us and we start to wonder. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a cat what turned mutant from living under the house for so long?¡± I ask and Jacob crosses his arms and says that ain¡¯t no cat like one he ever saw and maybe it was an escaped zoo animal or maybe something that only lives in the dark where no one has ever seen one before.


    He picks it up by the fat pink tail and it dangles there and I stick out a finger to poke it and it¡¯s about made out of cardboard for the stiffness of it and it gives off an odor like dusty old leaves and a dry piece of leather when I put my nose close to it and we both shrug and hightail it back into the house to show Momma.


    She¡¯s looking into the green stove in the kitchen and she has he head inside like she¡¯s looking at something and we both tromp up to her like we killed a lion ourselves and we¡¯re proud and she exclaims, ¡°well now! My two scavengers found something to snack on and you just plop it right on this table so we can get a proper look at it!¡±


    Jacob plops it down and we all gather around and she is poking around the edges of it and it seems dry as anything. She flips it over with the very end of her pointer finger so as to not get any possible juices on her and the underside is extra white and has a big sour looking yellow patch and she reckons we can do something with this.


    She points to the door and says now we need a big big fire if we¡¯re going to cook up this mess of food. ¡°We¡¯re going to need at least two handfuls of sticks so get on out now and get that wood, but don¡¯t get too far since we ain¡¯t sure still all what¡¯s out there.¡±


    Jacob and Me scurry out the door and is on the hunt

 Chapter 11: Rowdy Boys

    Jacob and me head on away from the house into the trees and we¡¯re picking up sticks and bundling them in our arms and we¡¯re walking a good distance away for more since we want this fire to roar and lick at that flat pancake creature with the needles in its mouth and our mouths are watering.


    Jacob takes a long white green moss hanging from a tree and puts in on his chin and says ¡°lookit me! I¡¯m all old and gimme my cane! I can''t walk too good!¡± so I fetch a long stick and Jacob is hobbling around with it now and complaining about his back and how he can''t poop too good since he¡¯s old and I¡¯m grabbing moss too and make a whole beard from it and we look like old men of the woods.


    We get to flopping our arms and now we¡¯re chickens with beards and Jacob makes a good chicken sound and I¡¯m crowing real good and we¡¯re getting into it, so we pile up our sticks what we got so far on the ground so we can have our hands free and now we commence to pecking at the ground and strutting around and now I have a moss on the top of my head like what a rooster does but Jacob is getting bored with it now like he sometimes does and he tosses the moss away. I¡¯m still a chicken and I lunge at him and make chicken sounds but he¡¯s done with the game and I see that, so I stop and put down my moss too and it¡¯s over too soon.


    Jacob stops and is looking all around now and he says, ¡°where that pile of sticks for the fire we got?¡± I look around too and shrug and I don¡¯t see them no more but there¡¯s plenty of sticks more to be got. Jacob frowns importantly. ¡°We need to get some sticks back for making food and I¡¯m in charge since you¡¯re just little and don¡¯t know nothing about direction¡± even though Jacob is only three years older than me, that¡¯s three more years I ain¡¯t lived yet so I say ¡°which way boss?¡±


    Jacob is turning all around and I guess we were walking pretty far when we was chickens and looking for more moss and all, and he looks hard at the sky and at the ground and at the trees and points, ¡°thataway¡± and we go thataway only it don¡¯t look right to me but Jacob is the big boss of the woods now. I fall in behind and we¡¯re trudging through the underbrush and climbing over dead trees and I ain¡¯t remember it taking this long to get out here but maybe Jacob knows a shortcut.


    After a while, Jacob stops and looks around again and I¡¯m tired and I want to eat something and be inside somewhere. Jacob says, ¡°hush now¡± real quiet and he crouches down and I crouch down and I say ¡°what we looking for¡± and he gives me a warning look and points in a direction and I listen and try to catch a glimpse of what he¡¯s glimpsing.


    We hear some cracking branches a distance off and a whoop! whoop! Like no bird or anything I ever heard and Jacob looks at me and says to hunker lower, so we get all the way down on the ground and I¡¯m lying on a root and it¡¯s poking my side. Jacob is picking up a big branch in case it¡¯s a wild animal looking for something to eat on, and the sounds are getting closer and there¡¯s great crashing close to the fallen tree we¡¯re hunkered by.


    I¡¯m peeking even though we¡¯s supposed to be hunkering and I see there¡¯s three boys coming out of the woods and one is big and has a blue bandanna around his head and there¡¯s a middle sized one what is carrying something across his arms and it looks like a gun but I don¡¯t know which kind since I only seen a few on T.V. and there¡¯s one smaller than the other two and he has a thick stick and is hitting on things as he passes them and whooping, so that was probably the whooping noise we heard.


    ¡°Shut up your whooping!¡± the big one says ¡°you¡¯re liable to scare everything off before we have a chance to kill it proper!¡± The little one hits a tree with his stick defiantly, but the big one gives him a glare and the little one stops now. They¡¯re about to pass by, but I¡¯m raising up higher so I can catch an even better look and I guess there was a stick under one of my elbows for it breaks now and makes a big snap and I duck down again real fast but the boys all stopped walking and were all in attention at the noise I made and Jacob is glaring at me and shaking his head.


    Then there¡¯s a ruckus noise of them all rushing over to where we¡¯re hunkered and the middle one has his gun pointed and the little one has his stick raised to clobber whatever the noise was. The big one sees us first and shouts, ¡°cover em! They¡¯s trespassers! Trespassing!¡± and now we¡¯re covered I guess but I don¡¯t know what that means exactly and I picture them wrapping us up in a blanket but Jacob stands up holding his stick but the big one is already on him from behind and has him wrapped up with his forearm in Jacob¡¯s mouth so he can''t shout.


    His arm looks dirty so the taste can''t be too good.


    ¡°What you all doing on our lands! You sneaking around and trying to get our stuff probably!¡± and the middle one and small one look menacing and the middle one is pointing the gun at me and the big boy says ¡°talk quick because Joe there has you covered. He done shot a squirrel once from at least 20 feet away and maybe he only wunged it and it fell off a treebranch and ran away, but you¡¯s a lot bigger than a squirrel and that squirrel probably limps now and I expect Joe can put one right between your eyes if he wanted to!¡±


    Joe is nodding ¡°damn right! I shoot this all the time and I don¡¯t hardly miss!¡± Jacob still has the big one¡¯s arm in his mouth and he¡¯s trying to bite but the arm is too big so he looks like he¡¯s having a time of it and his cheeks are just puffing out. I blurt ¡°We was being chickens and we was getting sticks to make a fire so we can eat something we found under the house!¡± the big one says ¡°blast him Joe! He lyin¡¯! Ain¡¯t nothing to eat under houses!¡±


    Joe takes aim and I hear a pop sound and I feel a sting on my neck and Joe is jumping all around ¡°got him! Killed him dead!¡± and the big boy is laughing hard enough that Jacob is able to wiggle free, and his picks up the first stick he finds and it¡¯s small but has some sharp branches sticking off it and he screams ¡°you killed my brother!¡± and charges at Joe with the gun and starts slapping him around the head and shoulders and is yelling and springing back after every whack so as not to get hit back since he ain¡¯t never hit no one before and ain¡¯t quite sure how it goes.


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    I¡¯m holding my neck in case the blood is all going to come spraying out of me and it stings something awful and the little one and the big one are coming for Jacob while he¡¯s hitting Joe with the stick and the boys is all laughing. I look at my palm and there¡¯s no blood and the boys are surrounding Jacob and taking turns getting behind him and kicking at his legs and snatching for the stick and finally the big one gets it and tosses it aside.


    ¡°Haw haw! We got you good! Got you for trespassing we did! Hee Hee!¡± and he¡¯s laughing hard but not trying to hit Jacob or nothing who¡¯s now blubbering and mad as a bee. Gunboy Joe is wiping the side of his face and there¡¯s a trickle of blood from a scratch from Jacob¡¯s branch, and he holds up his hand and the big one looks and says ¡°well, you done walloped him pretty good! Joe¡¯s a pussy and can''t fight for shit so maybe if he¡¯s lucky they¡¯ll be a cool scar at least. That was some good swingin¡¯ you done boy!¡± and claps Jacob hard on the shoulder who wipes his eyes with his sleeve and ain¡¯t in a talking mood and still wants to fight something.


    I check my neck again for blood but the big boy says Joe only has a BB gun on account of how he¡¯s too much of a retard to use a real one. ¡°Don¡¯t be a bitch, that¡¯s only like a tiny BB and it ain¡¯t even get through the skin, although it can if you pump it enough, ain¡¯t that right, Joe?¡± And Joe shifts uncomfortable ¡°that¡¯s right! Got ol¡¯ Joe right in the ankle last year and it went in about enough so we couldn¡¯t dig it out even though we tried with a fish knife! Probably still in there right ol¡¯ Joe?¡± and he gives a guffaw like it¡¯s the funniest thing he¡¯s ever heard and these boys sure have a funny idea about what¡¯s funny.


    He looks at me serious now and says we¡¯re going to shake on it and he holds out his hand to me and I don¡¯t take it because I¡¯m afraid and he says ¡°you shake now. Shake my fukkin¡¯ hand because that¡¯s how it¡¯s done¡± so I reach out and grab his hand but he pulls away and says ¡°not like that you fukkin¡¯ pussy! You grab all the way up on the wrist, that way you can know if someone has a knife up they sleeve!¡±


    I try again but I can''t get my hand all the way around his wrist for its big and sinewy, but that¡¯s enough and his hand is also on my wrist and it feels hot and grimy. Then he turns to Jacob and says ¡°you shake now too¡± and Jacob sees how we¡¯re supposed to shake in the woods so he does it all the way up to the wrist even though he¡¯s looking away still mad. The boy has us all shake up to the wrist with each other and they shake with each other too, maybe for practice. He spits on the ground.


    ¡°Now we¡¯s all friends and this didn¡¯t happen no more and that¡¯s how you fukkin¡¯ tussle. Since you ain¡¯t know how to act right, we done showed you. What¡¯s your fukkin¡¯ names.¡± Jacob mumbles his name but I ain¡¯t in the mood to talk without crying so Jacob says I was Gabe but our Daddy calls me Scamp sometimes and the boy likes that and he gestures ¡°that there is Joe what with the peashooter, that little runt with the ugly face is Sam and I¡¯m Cole. We all had us a tussle just now but ain¡¯t nothing come of it and Jacob there showed big ol¡¯ balls by swangin¡¯ that branch all around to high heaven, and Joe got a pretty good scratch from it and that¡¯s good because Joe needs to look more like a man since his face looks like a girl haw haw!¡±


    Joe don¡¯t look too pleased by this but he doesn¡¯t say nothin¡¯. Cole says ¡°where all you come from?¡± And we says we just come a little few days ago and we¡¯s been in the woods lookin¡¯ for firewood so we can cook up something we found under the house what looks like an alien. And also the brains out of a cat skull I found in a hole. Cole looks askance at us and said he never ate nothing like those things before and asks how we¡¯re going to cook em up.


    Sam and Joe are also interested and I say we reckon we¡¯re going to stomp them all up in a pile and toss them in some flames and just chew them like you normally chew things. The boys are looking side eyed at each other and Cole shrugs and says that sounds about as good a food as any he guesses, and at least it¡¯s something different than what they got to eat at their house.


    Me and Jacob look at each other too and I ask where they come from and where their house is and they point in a direction and ask if we want to come see since they have some matches and a few firecrackers that we can shove in a pipe and maybe fire a rock out of it at their good for nothing dog.


    We don¡¯t know if they¡¯s our friends and they was rowdy and played different from us, but they all take off walking and Jacob and me follow since we is pretty much lost anyway and Jacob ain¡¯t about to pass up an opportunity to light some matches.


    Along the way Joe is pumping up his BB gun and firing at pieces of bark on the ground and waving it all around.


    Cole grabs up a fistful of dead pine needles and mashes it in Sam¡¯s face and calls it a brownwash for his ugly mug and Sam is red faced and takes a swipe at Cole but Cole puts him in a headlock and makes him say he likes to lick turds straight from a dog¡¯s butthole and Sam does and Jacob and I are nervous since this here is a touchy situation, but they ain¡¯t tried anything else with us since the BB gun shot to the neck and the moves Cole put on Jacob, and they seem ok.


    Joe picks up a stick in the shape of a gun and gives it to me so I can be armed too.


    We trudge through the woods and come to a clearing in the trees deep in wild grass and Cole picks up a handful of it and heads toward Joe who¡¯s flinching back ¡°I ain¡¯t want no greenwash!¡± but Cole just touches it to the cut on Joe¡¯s face where Jacob scratched it with the tree branch and mutters ¡°fukkin¡¯ babies can''t take care of nothing themselves¡± and he holds it there for a while and takes it away and there¡¯s a little dab of blood on it and Cole balls up the grass and tosses it away.


    Joe keeps walking and Cole stands there for a bit then follows after, shaking his head.


    We was talking like how you do when you¡¯re with new people and we tell about Daddy, and how we¡¯re going to be woods people and we already found about a hundred good things and Daddy was in town now getting corn kurns so we can eat corn all the time pretty soon.


    Sam interrupts and says ¡°that¡¯s one! Right Cole? That one good?¡± and points in the direction of a small tree weighed down by pink blossoms and Cole rubs his chin importantly ¡°well, I don¡¯t know, don¡¯t know if that¡¯ll do er¡¯¡± and Sam says ¡°oh, ok¡± and starts to trudging again. Cole says we might as well try though, just in case and I ain¡¯t know what they¡¯re on about but they¡¯s all headed in that direction and pretty soon they¡¯s all underneath.


    ¡°Get on over here!¡± Sam calls, and we ain¡¯t move but then they¡¯re all calling for us to come, so we do and they say to stand under the tree with them and it¡¯s close quarters all right and we can smell the wild on them boys.


    Sam shouts ¡°timber!¡± and hits the trunk of the tree as hard as he can with his stick and all the blossoms on the tree comes down on us and we¡¯re covered in petals like pink snow and now we¡¯re sputtering them out of our mouths and trying to climb out at once, but we ain¡¯t mind and we finally clear the tree and I shake my head to get them off and Cole tells me it¡¯s a parade to welcome us to the woods.


    We keep walking and me and Jacob are jostling around and trying to knock each other down in the tall grass and now I see there¡¯s black smoke coming from above the trees up the crest of a hill, and that must be their house.


    Cole tells us to just quiet down now because we ain¡¯t want to rile Uncle who was in the war and don¡¯t take too kindly to sudden loud noises, or people coming up on him from out of nowhere.

 Chapter 12: Uncle, the Man

    Cole motions to Joe, ¡°go on now Joe, get singing¡± but Joe is shy on account he ain¡¯t sung around anyone new but Cole says ¡°would you rather sing in front of these here or get a bullet in the guts from Uncle?¡± Joe starts in singing real loud but sweet and I ain¡¯t heard that song before. We all come to an opening in the trees with Joe singing and me and Jacob standing in back of the boys since we ain¡¯t want to get shot in the guts by uncle, and there¡¯s a muddy road that leads away from a house and the house is bigger than ours and has a chimney made of tin with a little metal hat on it.


    There¡¯s piles around the house like ours, but one is on fire and it¡¯s tires what are burning and I guess that¡¯s the smoke what I seen when we were getting close. There¡¯s a lanky man sitting on the porch wearing a pair of camo pants and a white t shirt what is watching us all come up. He¡¯s smoking a cigarette and wiping on a gun with a black oily rag that ain¡¯t look like the BB gun Joe has and he¡¯s staring at us. Sam tells us that that¡¯s Uncle.


    Uncle props the gun against the side of the house and puts the rag what he been wiping it with on the chair and Cole calls out, ¡°got her cleaned ok?¡± Only he sounds nervous and Uncle takes his time and stretches like a cat, then clops down the two dirty porch stairs and comes close up to Cole.


    ¡°Where the fuck you all been? You didn¡¯t finish your chores and that pile of tires isn¡¯t going to burn itself. Or maybe it is. Does it burn itself, Cole?¡± and Cole mutters that no it ain¡¯t and Uncle snaps ¡°you were tasked with feeding the tires into that fire and how do we get rid of the tires unless they is on fire?¡± Uncle is chest to chest with Cole, Cole talks defiantly, maybe because we¡¯re all there watchin¡¯ him talk to Uncle.


    ¡°Them tires burn slow and I ain¡¯t need to watch them all the time, we was looking for...¡± Uncle is on him and grabs his head with two hands and pushes it all the way back until Cole¡¯s back is bent like he¡¯s doing the limbo and now he¡¯s flat on his back on the ground in the mud.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you fukkin¡¯ talk back to me you fukkin¡¯ faggot!¡± and he flips Cole over and pushes his face in the mud now and takes one of his arms and twists it all the way up so Cole is screaming loud and muffled with mud in his mouth. ¡°What did you say?¡± Uncle has his ear cocked close to Cole¡¯s head ¡°you say you¡¯re going to burn the tires like I asked until they¡¯re only black smoke?¡± Cole squeals when uncle pulls up harder on his arm and he¡¯s saying yes any way he knows how and Uncle gives the arm one more yank for good measure and there¡¯s a popping sound.


    Uncle gets up off Cole and Cole scrambles back like a crab and is sitting there all covered in mud and we¡¯s all watchin¡¯ this but now Uncle is looking at us and I look away so he ain¡¯t do the same to us and I feel guilty like I should have some chores to do too. Uncle is wiping his hands and Cole is holding his arm now which looks flopping and dangling and Uncle says to Sam and Joe ¡°who the fuck are they¡± without looking at us.


    Sam says ¡°we kicked their asses in the woods and now they¡¯re prisoners¡± and Joe says ¡°they was trespassing and we protected the lands¡± and I look at them with surprise for I though we turned into friends and Uncle turns now and regards us. ¡°you two were walking my lands? taking things that don¡¯t belong to you?¡± and motions at the stick Joe give me what looked like a gun ¡°and now you¡¯re here. On my property. I buried five people and five people haven¡¯t been found. You believe that shit?¡± He¡¯s close to Jacob with his head to the side and is waiting for an answer.


    Jacob says ¡°no sir, we was lost and looking for wood what we can cook our food on. Momma is waiting for us now and we is all terrible hungry and we found some things to eat under our house and in a hole and we¡¯re going to fix them up into a feast which is what we¡¯re all needing.¡± Uncle shakes his head ¡°that sounds like a bunch of horseshit to me. Where¡¯s your Daddy?¡± Jacob says ¡°Daddy is gone to town and he¡¯s bringing back a truck full of corn so we can make everything to eat out of corn¡± and Uncle scoffs and spits into the mud in front of us and Cole is stood up now and is trying to feed a tire into the belching black fire but only one of his arms is working. The other that Uncle popped is just dangling like a sweater sleeve with no arm in it.


    Uncle says for him to get loading faster or before God, Cole¡¯s going into the fire next after the tires and then he¡¯ll also be black smoke. ¡°My arm ain¡¯t workin¡¯ Uncle, honest, it¡¯s just swinging here and it ain¡¯t picking nothing up!¡± and Uncle looks like he¡¯s really going to put Cole in the fire but he spits again and tosses his smoking cigarette butt and it bounces off my foot ¡°God fukkin¡¯ dammnit!¡±


    He stomps over to Cole and grabs the limp arm and raises it above Cole¡¯s head and Cole gives a yelp. Uncle drops it and it falls straight down and kind of wags around and Cole is trying not to cry since he¡¯s the big one and I get the Idea it ain¡¯t too smart to cry in front of Uncle.


    ¡°Sam, Joe, take hold of him.¡± They come right quick, only It looks like they don¡¯t know how they¡¯s supposed to be holding him, but they want to do it right. ¡°You fukkin¡¯ dummies. Sam, you put your hand over his mouth, Joe, you hold him around the waist so he can''t run away¡± Jacob and me is about to take this chance to head on off since these people were liable to do all manner of awfulness to us, but I guess Uncle has eyes on the back of his head because without looking around he tells us we better stay put as he ain¡¯t done with us yet.


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    Me and Jacob stay put but we¡¯s looking at each other and we is stricken faced and shivering with the cold. Uncle grabs Cole¡¯s arm and there¡¯s a muffled sound from Cole but it ain¡¯t too loud since Sam has his hand on his mouth so tight his hand is white and Joe is holding his waist real hard.


    Uncle gives a great heave, pushing the arm back into Cole and there¡¯s a sound like dropping a rock into thick mud and Cole¡¯s eyes are watering and Uncle says ¡°it¡¯s fukkin¡¯ fixed now, so get the fuck back to workin¡¯.¡± Cole gives the arm a try and it¡¯s working ok now I guess since it ain¡¯t flopping around anymore. Uncle asked him if he¡¯s going to say thank you for the free doctorin¡¯ and Cole does and Uncle spits into the fire and says ¡°fukkin¡¯ a right. Next time you mind me. I¡¯ve done a lot worse than that in the desert and I killed a raghead with a rock and his eye came out and looked like a grape on a string.¡± Sam and Joe are nodding and Sam says ¡°that¡¯s right, Uncle killed about a hundred people ain¡¯t you, Uncle¡± and Uncle looks proud and lights another cigarette and says through blue smoke, ¡°I did enough. Not that the fukkin¡¯ government cares about it since I¡¯m dishonorable now for all the killing. But I guess dishonorable is better than getting murdered by a fukkin¡¯ kid with a sharp piece of rebar. Killed him too. Wrapped my bootlace around and around his neck until he turned purple, but that was damned inconvenient since I had to wait to get it back and his face was black by that time.¡±


    Uncle spat near my feet and I stepped back a bit for I didn¡¯t want no spit juice on my shoe. Uncle doesn¡¯t like that. ¡°You two look like city folk with your white sneakers and fancy hair. Probably cut by a fag in some barber chair where they like to touch your dick. That what you two are all about? Touching each other¡¯s dicks? Cover each other in flower petals while touching each others dicks?¡±


    We done forgot we was stil covered in flower petals and Jacob and me start to brush them off and Jacob¡¯s eyes are darting to Sam and Joe but they¡¯s just looking at us with no help in their eyes. They¡¯re safe for now since they got Uncle to be happy even though it was killin¡¯ talk and they ain¡¯t going to take our side for nothin¡¯.


    Uncle says ¡°yeah, you two probably can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch with those mouths. Probably learned it from your Daddy who¡¯s fukkin¡¯ stupid for getting corn this time of year. What, you¡¯re going to plant it in your asses?¡± And Sam and Joe are snickering behind him but Cole ain¡¯t laughing or saying nothing since he¡¯s already in trouble and can''t get nothing out of laughing at Uncle¡¯s jokes.


    Jacob still ain¡¯t sayin¡¯ nothing and I¡¯m mad now since my Daddy can do anything and he give us jobs and ain¡¯t hit us none and climbs trees and ain¡¯t mean like these here folks and I say the first thing that comes to my mind. ¡°Least we ain¡¯t ugly dumbheads! You ain¡¯t talk about my Daddy like that and he¡¯s as tall as a phone pole and he can beat you up easy!¡± That¡¯s the first curse I said to an adult and dumbhead ain¡¯t too bad although I wished I could have remembered to say something better like what me and Jacob have been practicing when we say ¡°crap¡± and ¡°damn¡± and ¡°shitter¡±.


    Uncle gets a funny look on his face and he turns to Sam and Joe and shrugs. Cole is still stoking the fire with his back turned but he¡¯s stopped now and is listening for what Uncle does next. Uncle turns back to us and says ¡°I guess you¡¯re not too far off. Sam and Joe over there both came by my sister and she drank every day of her life until she turned yellow and keeled over. She¡¯s buried somewhere around here and I guess they do have a funny look about them.¡± Uncle is considering now and I say ¡°Me and Jacob is fierce fighters and Jacob whipped Joe there good what with a branch and he¡¯s probably going to have a scar for life and Jacob give it to him!¡±


    Uncle asks Joe if that¡¯s the truth and Joe says he come by the scratch just walking through the woods and Sam is nodding along like he seen it happen himself but Cole speaks up and says, ¡°We all had a tussle and that Jacob done whipped Joe after Joe shot that little one in the neck and we all done shook hands afterward.¡± Uncle runs his hand through his hair and turns on Joe. ¡°You got whipped by this boy? You better not lie to me or so help me, I¡¯ll bury you next to your mother if I can remember where she lays.¡± Joe shuffles his feet and says it weren¡¯t a fair fight and I snuck up on him but Uncle gives him a dead eyed look and Joe says it was like Cole said after all ¡°but I shot him real good first! Would be dead probably if I pumped the gun a hunnert times!¡±


    Uncle says ¡°shootin¡¯ someone real good and them still being alive afterward isn¡¯t ¡®shootin¡¯ real good¡¯ and you¡¯re the one that got your blood spilled.¡± Joe is sulking now and Sam is standing there watching and he lied along with Joe, and Cole by the billowing foul smoke is smirking for now Joe and Sam is the ones in trouble and he ain¡¯t no more. Uncle says ¡°and you all shook on it.¡± He gestures to me ¡°You. you get shot and you still shake on it afterward.¡± He looks us up and down and turns to Sam and Joe and stomps at them and yells ¡°and you all shook on it too, and you got blood on your face and shot the little one and you didn¡¯t kill him and you all shook on it!¡± Joe is quavering as Uncle goes on ¡°you shook hands! All shook hands! I told you what that means! You don¡¯t shake a hand and lie about what happened afterward after you shake hands!¡±


    Now he¡¯s hittin¡¯ on Joe and Sam as they cover their heads from his beating and he picks them both up by the backs of their pants like luggage and walks out of view behind the house. There¡¯s some clanging and hollering back where we can''t see.


    Jacob says now is a good time to hustle on out, but Cole says to wait, for Uncle ain¡¯t on us no more and now he¡¯s on Joe and Sam.


    Uncle comes back around the house and is out of breath and his face is red but he says ¡°those pussies need to learn. They¡¯re no men, but cowards, and don¡¯t know how to battle right.¡± He turns to Cole and says ¡°that¡¯s enough tires, retard, we don¡¯t want that poison smoke in the house.¡± And Cole stops working and Uncle says ¡°let¡¯s get inside, I got something to show you boys.¡± And he tosses his cigarette aside where it fizzes in the mud.

 Chapter 13: Tiger Hunt

    We all follow Uncle and he stoops to grab up the gun what he had been wiping on when we came up. He heads inside and we head inside too. ¡°Just sit anywhere¡± he gestures around and Jacob and me is looking and there¡¯s a square of brown linoleum with a table on it and some chairs so Me and Jacob sit there.


    Cole walks to a lumpy chair with flowers on it and flops down and hangs a leg over one of the wooden arms. Uncle is busy in front of a fridge and we see the light on inside and they have power I guess and he takes out some cans and claps them down on the table in front us and says this is a celebration to our victory in battle. I open the can and take a sip and it tastes like old sour vegetables. Jacob is also taking a swig from his can and he has a face like he ate rotten cheese and Uncle is laughing and swigging his like it¡¯s water and it¡¯s upended and gone and he slams it down on the table and gives a big belch.


    ¡°Ahhhh, good suds! Fukkin¡¯ best suds they make and I don¡¯t drink anything else!¡± He¡¯s looking at us expectantly and we both take another sip to be polite, but his face is turning dark. ¡°That¡¯s not how you drink my suds. These are precious and I give them to you in my own house and on my property, and you all drink the fukkin¡¯ suds like they aught to be drank.¡± So we both take big swigs and the foam is coming out from the corners of my mouth and Jacob is gagging but still swigging, and we manage them and I clang mine down on the table like Uncle done and I give a belch and he¡¯s smiling and nodding.


    ¡°Fukkin¡¯ a right! fukkin¡¯ swig the suds down!¡±


    Cole asks from across the room if he can have one, but Uncle says they¡¯re only for champions, and Cole¡¯s no champion today. Uncle gazes out the back window and there¡¯s the square top of something poking above the sill and he asks ¡°you ever shoot a real gun?¡± Jacob and I never have and he says we¡¯re about to give Sam and Joe a good scare and just come along.


    He picks up the gun and walks to the back window and shoves it up and calls ¡°how you doing out there? Having a good time?¡± We don¡¯t hear nothing coming from out there so he shouts ¡°having a good fukkin¡¯ time!?¡± and I hear mumbling coming from outside and Uncle smiles and says that¡¯s real good. He has a smile on his face like when the clouds part and the sun comes out and he¡¯s beautiful in his conviction.


    ¡°You two come over here. Teach you to shoot a gun like a real man.¡± We come over and he says, ¡°now watch real close, otherwise you¡¯re liable to blow off some of your parts and maybe blow holes in things that you don¡¯t intend to.¡± He pulls back a knob on the gun and a shell flies toward us and bounces off Jacob¡¯s chest and clatters to the floor and rolls under the table.


    ¡°Whoops, one already in there, hand that over.¡± I reach under and pick it up and Uncle takes it. ¡°Now look. I¡¯ll explain it so even a retard can shoot it. You put this shell inside this long tube with the lead part facing out toward the end of the tube. This shell is what¡¯s packed with things that explode the bullet out.¡± He places the shell in the tube. ¡°Now that it¡¯s in there, you push this forward¡± he pushes a knob on the side of the gun forward and it makes a clicking sound ¡°and then you can pretty much blow away anything, or shoot a hole in something that fancies a hole in it by pushing this with your finger. This is the trigger.¡± and he gestures to a curved piece of metal on the bottom of the gun.


    He turns quick ¡°Watchout!¡± and in one fluid motion he shoulders the gun and fires it downward out the window and the sound is like lighting a firecracker inside your ear and there¡¯s a smell like the 4th of July in the kitchen.


    He¡¯s saying something and smiling but my ears are ringing so I can''t make it out. I¡¯m shaking my head and covering my ears and Jacob is crouched down, covering his head so Uncle is shouting for us to hear ¡°I say that sure gave them something to think about! Take a gander!¡± and I lean out the window and I see that square thing I seen before poking above the windowsill outside is a big dog cage with a blue tarp for a bottom, and Joe and Sam are locked in there, squeezed up in the corner and there¡¯s a hole in the middle of the tarp with a spray of dirt around it where Uncle had shot.


    ¡°Keep them on their toes!¡± Then he shouts to them ¡°you gonna lie again about battling and shaking hands and all that?¡± and they¡¯s whimpering that they ain¡¯t going to do that no more and Uncle says ¡°Good! See you tomorrow! Pleasant dreams!¡± and he slams the window down and asks us which one wants to shoot the gun first.


    We ain¡¯t move, so he thrusts the gun into Jacob¡¯s hands and Jacob almost drops it for it has a heft and Uncle says ¡°wait one!¡± and trots back to the fridge to grab some more suds. ¡°suds always make your shooting better!¡± and he cracks one and chugs it down like before, and gives another belch and hands Me and Jacob another one each and I¡¯m feeling queasy and like my feet are about two inches above the floor. But also like things is a little funnier.


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    Jacob looks at his like it¡¯s the last thing in the world he wants to be holding, but Uncle is looking at us expectantly and with his arms crossed, so we both upend the cans again and this time I get it all down in one go, but my stomach is full up and I feel it sloshing inside and now I¡¯m feeling seasick. I sit down.


    Jacob has set the gun on the counter to drink his suds and he¡¯s holding the can with both hands and his throat is working up and down and he¡¯s choking out some foam but his is down after a while too and Uncle is clapping and looking over at Cole who is still slumped on the chair. ¡°Clap you fukkin¡¯ lazy asshole! These boys are doing better than you can and they¡¯ll probably whoop your pussy ass if you don¡¯t clap!¡± and Cole claps too a little bit from the chair but that¡¯s not enough for Uncle and he says, ¡°stand right the fuck up. Now.¡± And Cole stands up and Uncle fast walks up to him and puts his face in Cole¡¯s and says quietly ¡°clap like you mean it.¡± And slugs Cole in the belly so now he¡¯s bent over and gasping for breath.


    ¡°I still don¡¯t hear clapping!¡± Cole heaves up and starts clapping real loud while the air is still punched out of him and Uncle claps along now too and is whistling loud and they¡¯s both looking at us and clapping. Uncle walks to the window while still clapping and heaves it up again and calls out to Sam and Joe, ¡°you fucks need to clap too. These boys are both turning into men today!¡± and we hear weak clapping coming from outside now and they¡¯s all clapping and I get overwhelmed and Jacob is standing there pretending like this ain¡¯t the strangest thing.


    Uncle says ¡°alright, shut the fuck up. You all are giving me a headache.¡± The clapping stops at once and Cole sits back down, holding his stomach. Uncle gestures to the gun, ¡°okey dokey, you two know how to shoot now. I¡¯ll throw this can in the air and you take a shot at it.¡± Jacob asks if maybe we should shoot the gun outside but Uncle waves his hand and says that real men shoot indoors since there¡¯s more excitement involved. Jacob looks nervous and thinks Uncle is joking but Uncle says ¡°one of you better pick up that gun because I¡¯m throwing this can up, and if it hits the ground without being shot at, I¡¯ll be pissed since I took the time to show you how to shoot. And now you¡¯re making me jittery.¡±


    Jacob reluctantly picks up the gun and fiddles with the knob on the side until the shell pops out and goes flying across the kitchen. There ain¡¯t no shell to put in the tube and Uncle says ¡°got the shells in there. In that cookie jar.¡± Jacob looks all around but ain¡¯t see it and Uncle points, ¡°the cow.¡± and Jacob sees a ceramic cow on the counter and he lifts the cow head and it makes a mooing sound. He reaches in and grabs a handful of shells and in that handful is also crumbles of Oreo and he sets the pile on the counter and puts the lid back on the cookie jar and the cow stops mooing.


    Jacob is eyeing the cookie crumbs. Me and him ain¡¯t eat nothing besides them mushrooms what made us all paint the outside with our barf last night and my mouth is watering by itself and Jacob¡¯s stomach growls so you can hear it across the room and Uncle hears it too.


    ¡°When was the last time you ate anything?¡± We tell him last night, but we done barfed it all up and we was due for home to eat a dried and white critter we done found under the house and we was mighty hungry. ¡°Well, I tell you what. We¡¯ll play a game. You hit this can in the air, and I¡¯ll fix you up with something you can get inside you so your fukkin¡¯ stomaches stop making that fukkin¡¯ sound. You each get three tries, but if you miss we¡¯ll play a different game that I learned when I was a kept man for the Government.¡±


    And he spat on his own floor like he was trying to get the taste out of his mouth.


    ¡°What other game?¡± I ask and Cole sits up slow and starts to walk out of the room ¡°nawp nawp, you just sit there Cole.¡± Uncle giggles ¡°You¡¯re playing the game too if these boys can''t shoot the can.¡± Cole sits down but his face is miserable and he starts rubbing one of his ankles like it pained him some. Uncle goes on ¡°The game is called tiger hunt and there¡¯s nothing quite like it to get your dick hard!¡± A new can of suds had mysteriously appeared in his hand again and he¡¯s sipping on it now with his pinky out, like drinkin¡¯ a fine cup of fancy tea.


    He burps long and goes on. ¡°We get this room dark as the inside of a preacher¡¯s asshole. We¡¯ll put up blankets over the windows and I¡¯ll be the hunter and you¡¯ll be the tigers. You sneak sneak around and around the room and if I hear a noise, I get to shoot at it! Funniest game I ever learned! Those government folks sure do have some great ideas! Don¡¯t worry though¡± he smiles ¡°you probably won¡¯t get killed since the rule is I can only fire low, and there¡¯s nothing much in legs and feet that can''t heal well enough.¡±


    I wished this about three times already since I been here, but I wish again that Jacob and Me never met those boys in the woods. ¡°We ain¡¯t so hungry¡± I say ¡°we promised Momma we was going to be back and she¡¯s probably mighty worried we ain¡¯t been back yet¡± and Jacob chimes in ¡°that sounds like a fun time but like he says, we ought to be going on now¡± and Jacob gives a big yawn ¡°and we¡¯s pretty much tired too since we been out all day and having a fine time with you all, but we can come back and I sure do like the sound of that game what you learned!¡±


    Uncle says this is his house and guests need to act properly so we¡¯re not leaving until it¡¯s over since we already made a deal. I look at Jacob and he¡¯s wild eyed and I ain¡¯t sure this Uncle is having a joke or not but we was small and Uncle was an adult and we didn¡¯t know no better. Had we been older we may have used Uncle¡¯s gun to get out of there but we ain¡¯t considered it at all.


    ¡°Ok then. Good. Which one is going first?¡±

 Chapter 14: Uncles Red Hands

    Jacob is still holding the gun and Uncle points at him and cries out ¡°step right up boys and girls! Win a Kewpie doll for the lovely lady! Knock this can out of the air and win a prize! Heya heya heya! Step on up!¡± Jacob takes a shell out of the pile and puts it in the tube and has to fiddle with the knob to get it right but it moves forward and clicks into place like what Uncle showed us.


    He ain¡¯t holding it against his shoulder like how Uncle did but at his side instead with his hand on the barrel and he¡¯s pinching the trigger with two fingers but Uncle shrugs, finishes off his can and flings it in the air. Jacob squeezes the trigger and I cover my ears but it ain¡¯t go off and the can clinks to the floor.


    ¡°First try and you didn¡¯t even take the safety off first! Haw Haw!¡± and we don¡¯t know about no safety and Uncle says it¡¯s the red switch on the side and now Jacob is down to two tries. Jacob switches the safety and Uncle grabs up the can and goes ¡°onetwothree!¡± and it hits the ceiling and clanks off sideways and Jacob closes his eyes and the gun goes off but the bullet is wild and only catches the edge of a picture frame over Cole¡¯s head what splinters down on him.


    Cole scrambles up but Uncle shoves him back down. ¡°Just some wood chips, don¡¯t be a little bitch.¡± Uncle picks the can back up and says, ¡°get ya prize here! Last chance to impress the lady!¡± and Jacob pulls back on the knob of the gun and the shell flings out and lands on the table next to me and it¡¯s smoking and hot to the touch.


    He loads another shell into the pipe and clicks it in better now and he¡¯s checking the red safety because he ain¡¯t going to miss this time. Uncle swings his arm back and forth and goes ¡°oneeeeeeeeee, twooooooo¡± then tosses it up before he says three but Jacob is getting the hang of the possibility for trickery and he¡¯s ready. The gun is already aimed up for the can and the gun goes off again with a flash and a bang light lightening but it ain¡¯t a hit and the bullet makes a neat hole in the ceiling next to an overhead light and plaster dusts down around Uncle.


    ¡°Aww, better luck next time. Now the little one¡¯s turn!¡± and Uncle is clapping with a lit cigarette between his fingers and Cole claps along too and I hear clapping from outside as Sam and Joe probably ain¡¯t want to get shot at again.


    Jacob sets the gun on the table next to me and I heft it up and it¡¯s heavy so I need to cradle it with both arms. I take a shell from the pile and set the gun and the counter and I have to pull with both hands to get it open so I can feed the shell inside the pipe and the spent shell pops straight up and lands on the counter and rolls next to the cow cookie jar.


    I put in a new one and clicks it in and I check careful the safety for I¡¯m a fast learner and Uncle has the can again and I¡¯m holding the gun out, but it¡¯s swaying from the weight and he tosses it up without counting at all. The can hits the ground before I get to pulling on the trigger and the gun goes off and I stumble back with the force of it and Uncle jumps out of the way and now there¡¯s a hole in the rag carpet where Uncle was standing.


    ¡°Almost winged me! Haw Haw! Not the first time I got shot at and it does get the heart pumping! By God I do believe I have a slight erection. Here she goes again! Take a good look at the can! Watch it all the way!¡± I get the gun reloaded and Uncle has the can wrapped in his hand and is about to throw it and I¡¯m aiming at the can already, getting ready for the throw but my hands are sweaty and my finger slips and the gun goes off before Uncle has a chance to throw it. ¡°Hot Fukkin¡¯....!¡±


    Uncle is hopping around holding his hand and they¡¯s blood dripping from it and one finger looks like it¡¯s holding on by a thin piece of meat and it¡¯s dangling around like a finger shouldn¡¯t oughta. Uncle is shouting at Cole to get him his kit and Cole jumps up and runs into a back room and comes back out with a green duffel bag. Uncle tries to unzip it but uses the hand with the dangle finger without thinking about it and the finger comes all the way off now and thumps to the ground and rolls like a little sausage that fell off of a breakfast plate.


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    ¡°Get that finger! Grab it up! Dust off the lint and hairs and whatnot!¡± Uncle says through gritted teeth and Cole picks it up and wipes it on his shirt, then just kind of holds on to it since he¡¯s at a loss as to what¡¯s to be done next. Uncle reaches for the bag again with the missing finger hand but stops just before trying to open it and says ¡°shitfuck!¡± He reaches with the other hand and gets the zipper open and I see the bag is filled with bottles of water, and wrapped bars of food, and beige pouches. He takes out a little black bag and gets this one open too and there¡¯s rolls of gauze and silver scissors and all manner of knickknacks.


    ¡°You best not lose that fukkin¡¯ finger, Cole! They ain¡¯t makin¡¯ any more any time soon!¡± and he¡¯s tearing into a pouch with his mouth and dumps a powder on his finger stump and takes out a wicked looking hooked needle and says ¡°Cole! You get this in here! Put this here thred in the needle hole!¡± and Cole needs both hands for that so he puts Uncle¡¯s finger in his pocket and gets the needle threaded in a few tries. ¡°Now gimme! Gimmie my finger and gimme that needle! And gimme some suds! And light me a smoke!¡±


    Cole runs to the fridge and grabs up another can of suds for Uncle and opens it for him and Uncle pours it over his finger stump and its pink and foamy running down his hand. ¡°Fuck! Fuck! That¡¯s just what I needed!¡± He takes a big swig of the can and flings it away into the corner of the room and the suds chug out on their own into a puddle and Cole hands him the threaded needle and takes Uncle¡¯s finger out of his pocket and picks some lint off the raw part and hands it to Uncle.


    ¡°Now get the fuck away! Y¡¯all get the fuck out of here!¡± and we all scramble but he says ¡°Wait! My fukkin¡¯ smoke! Light it!¡± Cole grabs a pack of matches from his pocket and lights one and holds it to the jittering tip of Uncle¡¯s cigarette between his lips and Uncle¡¯s eye is squeezed shut against the blue smoke and Uncle shouts ¡°NOW you all can get the fuck out!¡±


    We¡¯re outside and standing on the porch and there¡¯s yelling and swearing from inside and also some quiet, then more bellowing and crashing around. Cole looks at us and his face is open now and not mean and asks if we all got an Uncle too and we don¡¯t rightly know and all we ever seen was Momma and Daddy and they was wacky sometimes but not like Uncle.


    Cole says Uncle ain¡¯t usually this wild but he been having dreams again like he¡¯s back to killin¡¯ people and wakes up and doesn¡¯t know where he is. Cole says sometimes Uncle will play games with them like on a board on the table and cook them his special hamburger gravy what they eat with toasted bread and even took them to see a movie a while back, but that movie had a lot of killin¡¯ and even though it ain¡¯t real in the movies, Uncle forgot where he was for a while and they had to put him in jail after cornering him in the mall food court after he tried to attack a woman and her baby since he thought the baby was fake and was filled with a bomb.


    Cole says he takes his nerve medicine but Uncle says it makes him tired and he needs to be sharp up here and on the lookout, so he ain¡¯t take it for a while. Cole says they steer clear of the house when Uncle gets that way but they ain¡¯t waited long enough this time he reckons. Cole wants to know about Daddy and Momma and how they is to us but there''s Uncle calling from in the house and Cole¡¯s face closes back up and he starts to head inside.


    ¡°Y¡¯all can come on in if you want, I think Uncle has about had it for today.¡± Me and Jacob look at each other and don¡¯t want no more of that Uncle but I seen food in that bag of his and maybe we would get some of it, for we was powerful hungry. We head in after Cole and Uncle is sitting at the table now, leaned back and comfortable, ¡°There he is, the little boy that shot me when no one else shot me before. Take a look at what you did, boy. Good thing I know a thing or two about patching skin and bones up else I ain¡¯t be able to grasp things right no more.¡± He holds out his hand for us to see and the finger is back on and is crisscrossed with thick black stitching. ¡°Everything grows right back together if you stick it back quick enough¡± and we¡¯re looking at his finger and something ain¡¯t right but I can''t exactly place what it is but Jacob does.


    ¡°Don¡¯t the nail go on the top?¡± and Uncle looks at his finger and he done stitched it on upside down. He looks at it for a long while then starts laughing and holds his head with his good hand. ¡°Stitched it on upside down! Ain¡¯t that something!¡± and he takes hold of it with his other hand and bends it so it touches the back of his hand, and he chuckles. ¡°Well. Fuck it I guess, maybe she¡¯ll heal like this and I can win me a few bets at the bar. Also!¡± Uncle leans forward excitedly. ¡°Check this out you little fukkin¡¯ child of God!¡± and he holds up a can with his good hand and it¡¯s dripping in blood and there¡¯s a hole in it. ¡°Shot that can after all! Right through my hand! You¡¯re a born sharpshooter, Boy!¡± and he stands up and claps me on the back and says now it¡¯s time to pay his dues.

 Chapter 15: Catherine

    He hustles to a cupboard and grabs up a rough brown sack and commences to rummaging around the house, filling the sack with whatall I ain¡¯t seen, then ushers us outside on the porch. He hands me the sack and says ¡°you¡¯re true and true, and make no mistake. You all are welcome any time around these parts. Only make sure to yell real loud or sing something when you get close, otherwise I just might take a shot at you.¡±


    He looks down at his mangled finger, ¡°although now I gotta learn how to hold the gun now so my finger can pull the trigger the other way, haw haw!¡± He holds out his hand to me and I take it like how Cole showed us after the tussle, up the forearm to check for knives. He gives a solemn nod and shakes Jacob¡¯s hand the same way and he says ¡°you all know the way back to your house?¡± Jacob says no sir and Uncle says to describe it since he knows all the houses around here. Scouted them out the second he came up to live in these woods, quiet like in the night so he could get the lay of the land.


    We describe it and he knows it and points in a direction and says to keep on thataway and we¡¯ll hit our house sure enough. He turned to head back on inside but I ask ¡°what all you going to do with Joe and Sam? I heard tell the nights out here can be real cold and Joe and Sam, they¡¯s liars but they ain¡¯t need to get too kilt for that.¡± Uncle turns and says that ain¡¯t none of our business. He makes the rules on his land and they broke pretty much all of them and this here was the punishment.


    Uncle says ¡°I held up my part of the bargain and showed you hospitality, but now you¡¯re treading on thin ice, boy. No one knows you¡¯re out here and I can put you and your brother inside that cage just as easy as them if that¡¯s what you want.¡± Jacob is tugging at my sleeve now and he¡¯s been ready to go home pretty much since we even left the house this morning, but I remember Joe and Sam ain¡¯t all bad and Joe give me that wood what looked like a gun so I could bang away at invisible enemies and Sam hit that tree with his stick and gave us all a flower parade on our heads and it was beautiful and bright and I forgot where I was for a time and that means something.


    ¡°No sir¡± I say and Uncle takes a step close to me and says ¡°what no sir? No sir you don¡¯t want to go in the cage, or no sir you¡¯re not agreeing with my rules, or no sir you didn¡¯t blow my finger off? Which is it?¡± I shift from foot to foot, nervous and not knowing what¡¯s about to come out of my mouth. ¡°That Joe and Sam, they¡¯s not that bad and they ain¡¯t need to go in no cage overnight.¡±


    Uncle is changing now and says none of this is my fukkin¡¯ business, and he¡¯s now thinking about tearing off his finger again and sticking it up my fukkin¡¯ ass where it belongs. Cole comes out of the house since he sensed a change and Uncle says what the fuck you want you fuckin¡¯ lazy piece of shit? And Cole says he don¡¯t want nothin¡¯, just coming out to say goodbye to us and all and Uncle says ¡°what the fuck you think about this happy horseshit?¡± He¡¯s pacing all around and gesturing wildly. ¡°These boys take what I have to give em¡¯, and now they¡¯re trying to tell me my own business on my own fukkin¡¯ property that I¡¯m able to do whatever I want on since this is my land!


    No one tells me what to do on my own land, and those boys are staying right there in that cage until I let them the fuck out, and when I do let them out, they¡¯re getting whipped, and no food, and all the worst chores! I¡¯ll make them climb up on the roof with no ladder and throw the pine needles off one by one with a pair of tweezers! I¡¯ll make them chop down every tree in this area and make em¡¯ stand the trees right back up if I want to!¡±


    Uncle¡¯s fists are bunched and his knuckles is scarred white half moons and his sewed-on finger is poking out useless as a dead twig. Cole touches Uncle¡¯s shoulder and Uncle turns on him ¡°get your fukkin¡¯ hands off me!¡± and shoves Cole hard so he hits the side of the house and sprawls on the porch. Uncle turns on us and his voice is dead.


    ¡°Now I changed my mind. Drop that fukkin¡¯ sack and get off my property before I bury you deep.¡± We is speechless and I drop the sack and some things clank inside and my mouth waters on its own and I¡¯m thinking about the cans of food what may be inside. Cole is still laying on the porch for he knows better than to get back up right away but he says ¡°Catherine.¡±


    Uncle says ¡°don¡¯t you fukkin¡¯ say that name to me, Cole you little shit. Katy ain¡¯t got nothin¡¯ to do with this.¡± Cole says ¡°you ain¡¯t do this to Katy and Katy read us books and would tell us made up stories and she liked popcorn.¡±


    ¡°Catherine ain¡¯t... Katy ain¡¯t...¡±


    Uncle makes a choking sound but turns it to a holler and he balls up his fist and punches the side of the house. Cole stands up and says to Uncle who¡¯s covered his face with his hands ¡°Katy would let them boys out of the cage and would give these here boys something what to bring home so they ain¡¯t have to eat rotten animals from a fire for supper.¡±


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    Jacob and me is standing around and we¡¯re all waiting for Uncle to go get his gun and drop us dead like deer and bury us in the mud where no one will find us, but he wipes his eyes instead and stands there with his hands at his sides, looking red eyed at Cole.


    He takes deep breaths and Cole touches Uncle¡¯s arm again and leaves it there and Uncle lets him this time. ¡°alright¡± Uncle says ¡°alright¡± and nods before heading into the house and shuts the door quietly behind him. I turn to run for I¡¯m sure he¡¯s going to come out with that rifle now, upside down finger or no but Cole says ¡°Y¡¯all can get that sack and head on home. Uncle will let them boys out of that cage soon enough.¡±


    I¡¯m still fearful but I pick up the sack and before Jacob and me hustle on out of there I have to know why Uncle acted like he done just now and I ask who Katy is and Cole says ¡°Katy was Uncle¡¯s little girl and therefore my cousin. He loved on her like nobody else. He would give her rides on his back and gallop through the woods sometimes and her eyes sure shined bright. He fussed over her and gived her anything she wanted but she weren¡¯t no spoiled brat and was as kind to all of us as Uncle was to her. She got sick a while back and it ain¡¯t go away and was puking up green even though she ain¡¯t eat nothing green. Uncle ain¡¯t want to take her to the hospital on account of how she ain¡¯t have no birth records for she was born right here in this house, and Uncle was afraid they would take her from him and he couldn¡¯t stand the thought.


    Uncle done read in one of his books that she may have something bad going on inside her what needed taking out and he tried by himself once Katy got so she couldn¡¯t even talk no more with the pain and only moaned in the corner while Uncle paced and begged God to leave her be.


    He done wrong in the war but she never done no wrong.


    We begged him not to but he done it anyway since he couldn¡¯t give her up. Catherine died with Uncle¡¯s red hands inside her and he buried her over there under that tree after sitting next to her body on the kitchen table for three days, and he ain¡¯t never got over that I guess.¡± Cole cracks his knuckles and looks around. ¡°You all get on out now and maybe we¡¯ll see you again.¡±


    Along the way home we took turns carrying the sack over our shoulders and we stopped every once in a while and discussed going through it for we were terrible curious about what Uncle put inside but we stood strong since we wanted Momma to share the surprise.


    I¡¯m carrying the sack now and we get close enough that we can start to recognize where we was and we see the house which is good, since it¡¯s getting dusky out and the sack was sneaky heavy. I¡¯m searching but I ain¡¯t see Daddy¡¯s truck on the drive or anywhere else but Daddy probably got held up, what with getting the corn and all. Mommas on the porch now and she says ¡°where y¡¯all been! I been looking out for you for a good long time and I thought you was ate by bears or moose or fell into a pit and was impaled by sticks and bitten by snakes or got caught in a snowy landslide and got your heads busted open with rocks!¡± she runs to us and checks us up and down for maybe bear bites or busted heads but she ain¡¯t seen none so she puts her hands on her hips and says ¡°I done sent you out to fetch wood and you ain¡¯t bring none so I had to break apart that table for it and I ain¡¯t good like your Daddy at making fire so it¡¯s just sitting there all broken up.¡±


    I chime in before she gets more riled up ¡°but look what we done got!¡± and I hold up the sack with a triumph and she¡¯s narrowing her eyes now. ¡°Where you get that sack?¡± Jacob starts to blabber in but I cut him off since I know he¡¯s about to tell the whole story what with our neighbors, and I say ¡°It was hangin¡¯ in a tree! In the woods!¡± She looks at Jacob ¡°that true? Found it hangin¡¯ on a tree in the woods?¡±


    Jacob looks at me and I shake my head a little and Momma darts her head over my way and she ain¡¯t see the head shake and Jacob says ¡°we sure did! We almost ain¡¯t seen it because it was brown and so was the tree but we did and here it is!¡± Momma says ¡°well. Let¡¯s bring it on inside and see what we got here.¡± and shes crossed her arms around her since the sun is all the way gone and it¡¯s a freezer out here now. We get inside and I upend the sack on the floor next to the wood stove and we go through it.


    There¡¯s a small clown lamp and a kids book about bears and I snag this quick for I like to look at picture books. There¡¯s also a can of creamed corn and fruit cocktail and a plastic grocery bag about half full of something leathery and wet what smells tangy. Momma is oohing and awwing at each thing like it¡¯s Christmas and there¡¯s a solid heavy thing what was made out of metal I think. Momma exclaims that it¡¯s a clothes iron what you can put on the fire and make your clothes straight.


    ¡°What a haul!¡± She¡¯s holding the clown lamp to her chest and starts looking all around for a place to plug it in. She finally finds the holes and plugs it in but it ain¡¯t work since we ain¡¯t got no power in here yet, but it makes her happy anyway so that¡¯s ok. ¡°where¡¯s Daddy at?¡± I ask and Momma says, ¡°oh, Daddy probably ain¡¯t going to be back for a while, he has a lot of big business in town and I expect it ain¡¯t too easy to fill up a whole truck with corns, so I expect he¡¯ll be gone for a while longer.¡± She stands there looking at the clown lamp for a while then turns to us ¡°well, let¡¯s get to eating!¡±


    We grub up the food from the sack and we ain¡¯t have no can opener, but we had that clothes iron so we was able to bang them open ok and any juice that got spilled we licked off the floor and nothing tasted quite so sweet. I took a nibble of what was tangy in the bag and it wasn¡¯t so bad and tasted like sweet bark but Momma says it was jerky and I guess it was called that since you had to gnaw and jerk on it some to tear it up enough so you could swallow.


    We was all exhausted and cold so we all piled up again on the mattresses and I don¡¯t know about Jacob or Momma, but I went right out like snapping fingers and when I opened my eyes, it was daylight and Daddy was standing in the doorway.

 Chapter 16: Gods Own Dog

    I was the first one to hop up and I runned to him and hugged him and he stumbled back a bit but was smiling and says ¡°whoa whoa Scamp! Watch ma feet!¡± He takes a step back and starts to tapping them and dancing around and he finishes his dance and bows toward his truck. I see something piled in the back and something also inside of the cab moving around. Daddy gestures for me to follow and we both head to the truck and he says ¡°allow me to introduce to you...¡± he opens the door and it gives a cronking sound and with a flourish, he bows and says ¡°the dawg!¡±


    Something bounds out of the cab and makes right for me and starts barking ferociously and Daddy is going, ¡°no! Bad! He¡¯s one of us! Bad dog!¡± The thing is chasing me around the house and Momma comes out now and shouts ¡°wolves! Wolves around the place! They gonna eat him! Do something!¡± Daddy is running toward me and picks me up and the dog is circling Daddy and taking leaps at me and barking and snapping it¡¯s jaws. Daddy is holding me up higher since one of the snaps got the tip of my shoe and he¡¯s taking kicks at the dog but the dog ain¡¯t pay him no mind and Momma says ¡°get him to the truck!¡±


    Daddy runs over and throws me inside and slams the door and the dog is jumping up against the window and fogging it with its breath and is making muddy prints on the glass with its monster paws. ¡°Jesus jumped up Christ!¡± Daddy says, ¡°I done rode with that dog the whole way back and it ain¡¯t do nothing but stare out the window! Even let me put a seatbelt on it!¡± He¡¯s breathing hard and Momma is standing a safe distance from the dog and says ¡°well you better get a leash on it and tie it up or something! It¡¯s liable to murder us all!¡± Jacob is peering out the door but Momma pushes him back inside and closes it.


    Then Jacob pops up at the window and he¡¯s lookin out and he wants to be in on the excitement. The dog has calmed down some and is walking around the truck just in case one of the doors were to open suddenly and Daddy says ¡°well, I got us some corn so I guess that¡¯s good news at least¡± and gestures to the truck bed where kernels are piled up. ¡°A few blowed away while I was drivin¡¯, but I think we still have most of it.¡± He blows out his cheeks and grabs a tuft of his greasy hair so that it¡¯s now sticking up. ¡°How y¡¯all do while I was gone Momma has her arms crossed and wants to know what kind of dog that was for it wasn¡¯t nothing she ever seen before. Daddy smiles proudly ¡°that there is what you call a half and half!¡± Momma says, ¡°half what and half what else?¡±


    Daddy says he wasn¡¯t too clear on one of the halves, but the other half was probably wolf and they¡¯s a rare breed since wolves usually only eat dogs so it was pretty much like a Jesus dog, where Jesus was part person and part angel. Just like this dog. Momma says ¡°that dog ain¡¯t no angel. How we going to feed it since all we ate since we got here is some poison mushrooms and smashed cans of cream corn and a fruit medley and a bag of probably human jerky?¡± and Daddy gets excited and asks if we got any cream corn left since that¡¯s Daddy¡¯s favorite.


    Momma frowns and Daddy sighs and says, ¡°well, we can set it free outside, watchdog style and it can hunt for itself and protect us from the wicked wilds and maybe it¡¯ll bring us a thing or two to eat, that is if it don¡¯t get too riled up about sharing.¡± Momma says that dog probably was exactly the kind of thing what got riled up about sharing and Daddy days it don¡¯t matter since we have a whole truck full of corn we can nibble on now. ¡°We can make us a feast! You know how much you can do with corn!? Cornbread, corn by itself, corn... brisket.¡± ¡°Corn brisket?¡± Momma says ¡°What you know about makin¡¯ corn brisket? Who going to be the one making all these corn things?¡±


    Daddy says ¡°I done maked corn brisket before and it ain¡¯t hard! What, I ain¡¯t never made nothin¡¯ out of corn before?¡± and Momma says not since she¡¯s been around ¡°I done made it before! I done it!¡± Momma asks how it¡¯s made and I tap on the truck glass next to Daddy since that wolfdog is still trying to get at me and he looks relieved to change the subject since he was starting to remember that he ain¡¯t made no corn brisket before, and it was probably something he seen on T.V. ¡°Scamp! We gotta save the Scamp! Scamp savin¡¯ time!¡± He calls out to Momma, ¡°we¡¯re going to have to pull a switcheroo, I guess. Need that dog in the truck and need that Scamp out of the truck, preferable without no chunks taken out of him.¡±


    ¡°Whistle at him. give him a whistle.¡± Momma goes, and Daddy whistles at the dog through his teeth like tweet tweet, but it don¡¯t mind him for it¡¯s paying attention to me and is sitting in front of the truck now so it can watch me real close. ¡°Hey you! Dog! Hey Dog!¡± but it still ain¡¯t move so Daddy changes tactics. ¡°Now¡¯s the time for lurin¡¯ I guess.¡± and he goes to the back of the truck and picks up a handful of corn and walks to the dog, ¡°here you go! Nice tasty corn! Best corn there is probably!¡±


    The dog briefly sniffs his hand, then goes back to staring at me in a spooky way with one tooth hanging out. ¡°Goddamn it all!¡± Daddy throws the corn at the dog, but it bounces off and a few kernels get cought in its fur but that¡¯s about all. Just then, Jacob bangs on the front window from inside and that catches the dog''s attention. He gives a low growl and is looking at Jacob now, and Jacob bangs on it some more and Momma thinks out loud that she¡¯ll have to clean the window again since Jacob is getting his handprints on it and all, but that does the trick and I guess Jacob is a genius.


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    The dog tears over to the window and starts barking and howling. The one behind this window is bigger and juicier looking than the one in the truck it¡¯s probably thinking. ¡°Now¡¯s the time! Get that door open!¡± Daddy shouts at Momma and she¡¯s opening the door to the house while Daddy opens the door to the truck and shouts, ¡°time to do some scampering!¡± And I do, but it¡¯s a close thing for that wolfdog is a smart one and gets the idea pretty quick and is heading for me again and likely enjoys chasing things better before eating them anyway, so this was better for him. Daddy boots the dog as it¡¯s running at me and that throws it off enough so I can just slip in the door with Momma and it¡¯s jumping against the door but I guess we¡¯s safe for now, only Daddy is outside and we is all stuck inside.


    We all run to the window to watch what Daddy does and he¡¯s got it by a paw and is trying to drag it toward the truck, but it don¡¯t like that too good and is growling at Daddy now. Daddy says ¡°hotdamn!¡± And lets it go and the dog goes back to guarding the door, for now there were three treats inside and all it needed to do was wait. Daddy is standing there on the driveway and I can see he¡¯s thinking and he snaps his fingers like he just got a thought and runs to the truck and gets inside. He¡¯s rummaging around and pops back out and he¡¯s got a loop of dirty orange twine. Momma rolls her eyes and says ¡°had twine the whole time¡± like we was watching T.V.. This was getting good. Daddy loops the twine up at the end and he¡¯s swinging it around his head like a cowboy and throws the loop toward the dog, but it falls about ten feet short on account of how light the twine was.


    ¡°Done missed! Missed the first time¡± Jacob calls and we is all riveted now. Daddy swings it around his head again and this time it hits the dog on the side and falls to the ground. We all groan and Jacob calls out again, ¡°done missed again! Hit him on the side though! Getting¡¯ closer!¡± Like we ain¡¯t all can see what¡¯s taking place before our eyes. Then Daddy just walks up to the dog and puts the loop around his neck and pulls it tight. ¡°Could¡¯ve done that the first time around!¡± Jacob calls out again ¡°Done wasted time what with throwing it at the dog!¡± We is all laughing now and Daddy is looking proud as he pulls the dog along toward the truck with its legs tripoded out and dragging through the dirt.


    Daddy gets it all the way to the truck but the dog don¡¯t want to go inside now. ¡°Dog is just sitting there! Ain¡¯t want to go in that truck!¡± Jacob says, and he ain¡¯t wrong. Daddy gets both truck doors open then and crawls through one, still holding the twine attached to God¡¯s own wolf son and gets out the other side and starts to tugging on it something fierce. The dog gives a yelp and climbs in even though he don¡¯t want to, and Daddy pulls it close to him, then closes the door on the twine, keeping the monster from jumping back out the other way even though it sure was trying hard.


    Daddy runs around the other side and closes that door now too and the dog is trapped inside. He looks over at us looking at him and we all break into applause and he sees that and starts taking bows to the left and to the right before running out of sight toward the house. He busts inside and says ¡°did you see that! Got em! I lassoed him from about 30 feet away on the first try! Then I had to wrestle the wolf all the way to the truck and got him stuck in there just a pretty as you please!¡±


    That was Daddy¡¯s wolf story he would tell whenever he would get the chance.


    ¡°I ever tell you the time wrastled with a wolf and wore it down so much it gave me its coat so I would finally let up!?¡± We all agree that it was a fine catch and everything was now solved. ¡°Damn right! Oh! Did I tell you I got that corn like what I was going to do! Got the shit outta that corn!¡± ¡°We all seen it¡± says Momma, ¡°and watch your language around these here boys, they ain¡¯t but little.¡± Daddy looks proper chastened. ¡°Got the corn just right I mean! Right good I done!¡± Momma crosses her arms and a right good arm crosser is Momma.


    ¡°What, you buy a wolf and it came with a free pile of corn? Or was it the other way around?¡± Daddy says they was separate encounters and he happened upon the wolfdog while he was driving home with the corn already. He spreads his hands out in front of him and starts weaving the tale.


    ¡°There I was, driving along, minding my own business, only thinking about you all and how much y¡¯all were going to love this corn¡± he looks forlornly at Momma who raises her eyebrows ¡°and I seen a man walking on the side of the road with this thing following behind him. I call out the window, ¡®nice lookin¡¯ dog!¡® and he goes ¡®huh?¡¯ So I pointed behind him and he goes ¡®hotdamn! A fukkin¡¯ wolf!¡¯ and starts to run, and the dog picks up pace and the man is hollerin¡¯ which was confusin¡¯ seeing as how it was his dog and all and I go ¡®he¡¯s getting¡¯ closer! You can''t run away from your own dog!¡¯ And the man yells behind at me ¡®he ain¡¯t mine!¡¯ and I laugh for he¡¯s playing a joke probably, so I open the other door while I¡¯m driving to get a better look at the big beautiful thing, for it¡¯s beside my truck now, and it jumps right in! I think it thought I was going to help it catch up with its man, but I had a thought about what a regal animal it was and all so I just closed the door and kept driving! Haw Haw!¡± and Daddy is slapping his knee and laughing. ¡°I done took it!¡±

 Chapter 17: Just a Piece of Bone in a Turd in the Middle of the Woods

    Momma¡¯s arms is still crossed and now she¡¯s frowning at him too, ¡°ok now, how we going to drive that truck with a wolf in it?¡± Daddy waves her off, ¡°oh woman, ain¡¯t you just seen how I handled that yon frisky critter? I can do pretty much anything I like, so quit your worryin¡¯¡± and he gives Momma a big smacking kiss on the lips and she giggles but only because she couldn¡¯t help it.


    ¡°Welp! You rascals are going to need to get your arms a pumpin¡¯ pretty soon! Someone gotta move that corn away from outside so the crows or something don¡¯t start peckin¡¯ at it. Fly right in and swoop it all up! I want that there corn inside my belly instead of the other way where it ain¡¯t inside. Because of the birds. Or critters. Or whatever. Get movin! Move it all inside! Hup! Hup!¡±


    We get to huppin¡¯ outside and I¡¯m pretty sure that wolf can''t get out of that truck, but I ain¡¯t taking no chances so I peek out the window and see it¡¯s still in there, sittin¡¯ behind the driver¡¯s wheel so I guess that¡¯s ok. Unless he can get it started and maybe try to run us all over out of sheer orneriness. Jacob and I get on outside and walk toward the truck and I¡¯m curious to see what kind of corn it was since I ain¡¯t get too good a look since I was being chased by a wolf and all. As we get close, the wolfer is woofin¡¯ against the window and it¡¯s pretty well smeared with slug trails up and down by its snout. We take a wide berth around the cab and get a glimpse of the corn in the back of the truck and it don¡¯t look too bad.


    It¡¯s piled from corner to corner of the truck bed and about high enough so that we could climb in it and be all the way covered if we wanted. It looks like corn all right, and Jacob and I agree that this here is some good quality corn although we probably wouldn¡¯t know if it weren¡¯t. We each take a double handful of the golden kurns and walk on back inside the house. Daddy and Momma are standing there and kissing and it¡¯s not as romantic as they probably think it looks. I say ¡°we got some corn, where abouts you want it, Daddy?¡± and he says to stash it in the corner by the stove so when we light it next, the heat will maybe pop some of the kernels and turn them into popcorn, and maybe the heat¡¯ll also keep away any nibbling pests, so we do and head outside for another load. After about nine or ten loads doing it this way, the corn pile in the truck don¡¯t look like it went down any, and the corn pile next to the stove don¡¯t look like it went up any too much and is just scattered around on the floor.


    Momma says, ¡°these boys are going to need a shovel or somethin¡¯. Something bigger than kid hands if we want this in before next month.¡± Daddy screws up his face and thinks real hard. ¡°Well, if we could get the truck inside here, we wouldn¡¯t need to do no walking back and forth so much I guess.¡± Momma says he ain¡¯t driving a truck through her house and Daddy needs to get that vicious scoundrel out of the truck so he can park it closer to the door. Daddy sighs because he wanted to be kissing on Momma instead. He says forlornly, ¡°Momma, you is a hard woman and is going to be the death of me.¡± But he goes outside to the truck anyway.


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    We¡¯re watching again as he gets close to the truck, but the dog don¡¯t carry on like it does with me and Jacob. Daddy opens the door and shoves the dog over and starts up the truck. He gives us a sad little wave and backs down the driveway out of sight. He comes back a long while later and we¡¯re all relieved to see the dog ain¡¯t inside the truck no more. Daddy pulls right up to the door so it¡¯ll be easy for the corn to get into the house.


    Daddy comes inside and he¡¯s all hangdog and Momma asks if he hit it with something and tossed it into the woods and Daddy looks shocked and says ¡°I ain¡¯t going to kill that critter! He¡¯s a wild un¡¯, but he¡¯s also a free wolfdog and he deserves to run around in the woods and poop wherever he wants and maybe catch a rabbit and have some young¡¯uns if he wants! Surprised at you, Robyn. I do believe these woods are turnin¡¯ you murderous.¡±


    Momma wants to know how far off he took it and Daddy says he took it all the way to where the dirt road ends and dropped it off in a parking lot.


    ¡°The school parking lot?!¡± Momma says, ¡°you dropped a wolf off at a school parking lot next to a playground where there¡¯s little pieces of fresh children meat running all around in a field?!¡±


    Daddy goes, ¡°I ain¡¯t know what all the place was and there ain¡¯t seem to be no school going on today. I only saw like a few janitor types around and they had mops and stuff to beat on it if they needed. And anyhow, it chased after my truck for about a mile before it sat down in the middle of the road and howled. I ain¡¯t no crying man, but that brought a tear to my eye, for that dog loved me and I loved it, and we was pals.¡± He sniffed. Momma says ¡°so you left a wolf on the road a few miles away and it knows where we live and the road goes right to our house and all he has to do is walk for a while until he gets here?¡±


    Daddy says, ¡°I don¡¯t know what you want from me, woman! I done taked it away like you wanted and it probably ain¡¯t going to come back here since all we got to eat is corn!¡± Momma says that wolf is going to come back and snatch me and Jacob into the woods and all they¡¯ll find is a pair of ripped up pants hanging from a tree, and if we¡¯re lucky, a piece of bone in one of its turds in the wilderness. ¡°You need to get us a gun since we¡¯re going to have to shoot at it sooner or later.¡± she says to Daddy and he¡¯s rubbing his face and combing his fingers through his hair. ¡°Where am I supposed to get one of those? I ain¡¯t even shot nothing since I was like, real little anyway! And that was only a bird and it didn¡¯t even die like it was supposed to!¡± Jacob chimes in ¡°I know where one is.¡±

 Chapter 18: Ashes in a Can

    They both look at him and I¡¯m frowning at him hard and shaking my head but he hisses at me that he don¡¯t want to be turned into no wolf turd in the woods and Daddy is impressed at Jacob. ¡°Well! You all been busier then you been lettin¡¯ on. Spill them beans all over us, boy, how you know how to get a gun all of a sudden?¡± I feel like me and Jacob only just made it out of Uncle¡¯s place yesterday without being chopped up and made into a gravy, but Daddy gets his mind made up and Daddy¡¯s going to do a thing whether anyone says anything about it or not.


    I chirp up real fast since I know Jacob is going to tell the whole thing and I ain¡¯t want Daddy to tussle with that Uncle, for we would probably never see him again if he cought Uncle at the wrong time. He ain¡¯t even know the rule to sing real loud before reaching Uncle¡¯s house.


    I tell them the story about the boys in the woods and their house and Uncle, but I leave off the bad parts what with me shooting off Uncle¡¯s finger and us drinking suds and me getting shot in the neck by Joe and all. I ain¡¯t sure how they¡¯ll take that and I¡¯m not sure myself how I feel about it. I just tell them that we had a real good conversation, and Uncle was all nice and definitely nothing happened that was untoward, then they sent us off with a sack o¡® goods.


    Momma throws up her hands ¡°I knew you ain¡¯t find that sack on no tree!¡± I babble out something quick before she starts asking more questions ¡°and that Uncle has a gun I seen leanin¡¯ behind the front door and he probably has like, a few more guns and maybe you can give him a good load of corn for it!¡± Daddy is thinking real hard and taps his lip with his pointer finger, ¡°hmm, I would enjoy the taste of some of these creatures out here. Maybe we can get us a moose or a wild little pig haunch or something like that. Yeah! I already got the corn in the truck and everything! Ready to go! Can probably eat a moose snout or somethin¡¯ by tonight if we hurry, for I hear them is plenty good eatin¡¯!¡±


    Now I¡¯m nervous since Daddy is probably going to drive right up to that Uncle¡¯s house and get shot straightaway. ¡°Sure!¡± I say ¡°sure is a good idea! Maybe we should wait though since I think Uncle was feeling mighty poorly when we were there last since he was holding his stomach and looked a little green.¡± I was thinking about when Cole told us that Uncle would get all holed up in his room after he thought about his girl which he killed on accident and Uncle probably would be in some kind of murderous mood if we suddenly showed up just a day after what we done at that house.


    Blowing off his finger and all.


    Daddy looks at me and says ¡°he feeling poorly huh? That¡¯s too bad. Don¡¯t do well to be feeling poorly when up in these here woods. Can put you out long enough for everything to fall apart. I know for a certainty that if I left that corn outside for a few days, it would likely be turned to rot and even the mice wouldn¡¯t touch it.¡± He rubs his chin contemplatively. ¡°We all Ought to do the neighborly thing and maybe bring him some kind of woodsy remedy.¡± He turns to Momma. ¡°Momma, you got any woodsy remedy what¡¯s good for an upset stomach?¡±


    She thinks and says she heard that if you eat some ashes, it can make it so your poop don¡¯t come out in a stream. Daddy claps his hands together and says that¡®s just what we¡¯ll do. ¡°We¡¯ll hustle up a mess of ashes from our stove and bring it right on over to him so he gets better. We can get to tradin¡® some corn for some shootin¡¯ iron so we can blast at everything out here and eat it all!¡± Momma says ¡°and don¡¯t forget that evil wolf what you let loose. It¡¯s probably loping down the road toward us right now, in a mood to cause some quick mischief.¡± ¡°Shore shore, and that too, that wolf too.¡±


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    Momma is bringing out the empty cream corn can filled with stove ashes and Daddy takes it. ¡°This here is the offering! Let¡¯s get a move on! Get on in that truck and we¡¯ll skedaddle now!¡± I know rolling up on Uncle¡¯s property in that truck won¡¯t give nobody time to hear us coming, and Jacob and me is little enough so Uncle will probably miss us when he gets to shooting, but Daddy is much bigger and probably ain¡¯t too much of a hard target to hit, even when on the move.


    ¡°Yeah!¡± I say, ¡°sounds good! Real good! Only... oh dang!¡± I¡¯m trying to think desperately. I¡¯m looking at Jacob and he¡¯s got a wild look in his eye and not any help with this here. I snap my fingers since I done thought of something to keep Daddy from driving us up there. ¡°Aww! I forgot! When we was up there yesterday, their driveway was all covered in mud so thick you could stick a broom handle all the way in so it disappears. I expect driving a truck into it filled with corn will get sunk so fast, nobody will find it for a thousand years. I think I seen them wearing tennis rackets on their feet to keep them from turning into mud people for good.¡±


    I pretend to look crestfallen. ¡°I guess we can''t go after all and get that gun which will give us a bounty up here. I seen so many animals so far that you could probably shoot about 16 a day and we can never starve going on like that I expect.¡± ¡°Damn!¡± Daddy says ¡°damn damn! What we all going to do?¡± He kicks a rock but it don¡¯t move seeing as how it¡¯s stuck in the ground. ¡°Well,¡± I say, ¡°Jacob and me done just walked over there and back yesterday and it ain¡¯t too far. We got home just when it was about to get dark. I bet we can even see where our footprints were so we can just follow them until we get there¡± and I give him a thumbs up but he¡¯s shaking his head. ¡°How we going to show what we got to trade unless we give him a glimpse of the goodcorn?¡±


    Momma chips in, for she¡¯s tired of listening to this conversation. ¡°Ross, you just follow them boys over to that house and bring along the can of ashes. Make this uncle chug them down and he¡¯ll be feeling right as rain, then you can just tell him how much corn you got to trade and he may even give you the gun before you give him the corn, on account of how grateful he¡¯ll be that you done fixed him up. Y¡¯all can figure out how to get him the corn later.¡±


    Momma means you¡¯re doing this when she calls Daddy, Ross, so he knows he¡¯s bound to. Daddy looks grumpy as he ain¡¯t get his exact way, but he ain¡¯t want to lose his truck into no quagmire. Daddy turns to me and Jacob, ¡°alright you two. Since you seem to know the lay of the land, let¡¯s get to hightailin¡¯ it on over there before it gets dark. Jacob, you''re the biggest so you take the lead, Gabe¡¯ll be in the middle and I¡¯ll watch from behind for anything sneakin¡® up on us. Let¡¯s get to hiking¡± but Jacob is shaking his head in little shakes and has a wild-eyed look like what a deer probably gets in its eyes before getting hit by a steamroller. He remembers what all happened yesterday and he¡¯s thinking maybe Uncle has had a chance to get mad about getting his finger blown off, and he remembers the cage behind the house for puttin¡¯ little kids in. Jacob don¡¯t say a word, he just takes off running.


    ¡°Jacob! Where the hell you all running off to? Jacob!¡± Daddy shouts and we all watch. Momma and Daddy highly perplexed, but I know why he¡¯s running, and I get the urge to take off running myself, but I love Daddy and he ain¡¯t know how to interact with the uncle proper enough not to die. ¡°Goddamn kid! where he beelinin¡¯ it to? That there is some strange behavior.¡± Momma says ¡°maybe he has the runs and can''t hold it no more?¡± Daddy spits and shakes his head ¡°time is a wastin¡¯. I guess it¡¯s just you''d me, Scampster, show me the way on over there I guess.¡± Daddy holds up the can of ashes and I lead the way.

 Chapter 19: Heard Tell Itll Blow Right Through a Tree

    We¡¯s walking for a while. Daddy is talking to pass the time and stumbling sometimes on wet logs, for he¡¯s none too nimble in the woods. Since we¡¯s headed straight to Uncle¡¯s house instead of brawling with the brothers and the like, we¡¯re making good time and pretty soon we come into the grass clearing I recognize and I see a path like a part in a head of hair we all made tromping through it yesterday.


    ¡°Them¡¯s our prints right there, Daddy, they head on in a straight line to them trees. You see them trees over there?¡± Daddy squints his eyes and says he sees em¡¯ ok. ¡°The house should be right on over there past them trees.¡± I look for the black smoke like I seen yesterday from the tire fire, but it ain¡¯t there so I guess Cole done finished his job and the world was now less a few tires.


    Daddy says, ¡°ain¡¯t this somethin¡¯. You turned into a tracker overnight and I sure as shit am proud of you, leadin¡¯ us straight here and make no mistake. You''s a born kid of the woods. And don¡¯t tell your Momma I swore just now. That¡¯s between us men.¡± He gives me a slap on the back, and I feel warm and I can''t keep from smilin¡¯, because Daddy is the best person in the world and he means what he says when he tells you a thing. I get a serious look on my face since now I¡¯m the leader and I ain¡¯t want this warm feeling to go away.


    We keep walking, and I can tell we¡¯re getting close to the house since I catch glimpses of the metal roof through the trees. I say, ¡°Daddy, now is the time to sing and make it known we¡¯s coming, since Uncle is nervous and has been in a war and don¡¯t like to get startled upon.¡± Daddy looks at me quizzical. ¡°Sing? Like sing a song?¡± And I say yes, ¡°It don¡¯t matter the song I guess, but you gotta sing it clear and loud so he can hear you coming.¡±


    Daddy says that¡¯s powerful strange and can''t we just yelp a little so he hears us? I say I don¡¯t know about no other sounds which is allowed, only that singing is the way them boys lead us here, so I expect that¡¯s the best way to get it done. Daddy thinks for a while and says, ¡°you have a song in mind? I can''t rightly think of nothing on the spot. I ain¡¯t really ever sung before. Only humming and whistling like this¡± and he tweets a little tune through the gap in his front teeth to make me laugh, and I say ¡°I ain¡¯t really know no tunes either. I think you can just make something up if you want to. It just needs to sound like a song I expect.¡± Daddy takes a deep breath and sings out:


    ¡°Boy I like corn! Shore as I¡¯m born! Gimme some corn, and I won¡¯t be forlorn!


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    Fry it and drizzle it with syrup and salt! If I eat mine and yours, it ain¡¯t really my fault!¡±


    And he goes on singing about corn which I didn¡¯t realize Daddy likes so much. We¡¯s walking closer to the house and can see more of it now through the trees, and there¡¯s the front door now only nobody is in sight. Daddy stops singing to look around, but I tell him he needs to keep at it until we see someone, and he belts out some more.


    ¡°Yes indeed corn! Fill up a horn! Play you a tune until early morn¡¯! Bathe in the stuff ¡®til you get clean enough, then fill ''er back up and...¡±


    We hear a shout coming from the house and look up and it¡¯s Cole in the topmost window. ¡°What you all doing!? Keep down that racket!¡± I wave at him and he shakes his head and grumbles and disappears from sight. Daddy and I both look at each other and Daddy shrugs, ¡°guess he don¡¯t like my singing non too good, but I had something I was going to end with that would have made even a corn proud.¡±


    Pretty soon, the front door is opening and Cole is standing there with arms crossed. ¡°What y¡¯all want?¡± Daddy says, ¡°we was looking for your uncle, for I have a trade I want to discuss. What with guns and some corn. We also brought this here can of ashes for him since we heard he was feeling poorly and if you drink em it makes you feel less poorly. Heard tell.¡±


    Daddy holds up the can and gives it a shake.


    Cole says, ¡°Uncle done left yesterday with Joe and Sam. I ain¡¯t know what all they went for, but when Uncle leaves, it¡¯s usually for a good long while and I think he¡¯s takin¡¯ care of some kind of business or other.¡± I¡¯m relieved for I didn¡¯t want to see Uncle again, but Daddy says to Cole, ¡°how old are you, boy? You know how to deal?¡± Cole answers that he''s 14 and can make any kind of deal he wants since Uncle is away and that makes him the one in charge. Daddy nods and says, ¡°we all is looking to trade for a gun since we got too many animals over there on our property. We need to start eating them before they get the idea that that there is their property, rather than ours.¡±


    Cole looks at me and I think we is friends after yesterday. but I still ain¡¯t too sure. I nod at him and he stares at Daddy for a bit and says, ¡°all right, you all come inside then.¡± He turns and disappears into the house. Daddy takes the lead and we both head on in. Cole is sitting there at the table when we get in and he gestures for us to sit down.


    Daddy sits across from him and plunks down the can of ashes, and I sit next to Daddy. ¡°What all you have in mind?¡± Cole asks, looking at his fingernails. ¡°Well¡± Daddy starts, then clears his throat, ¡°something I reckon that will blow the pants off of anything big enough to eat. Maybe something what can drop a bear and a moose at the same time if they was standing right next to each other.¡± Cole nods and says, ¡°we got something like that. Uncle done stole it after he was dishonored in the military. Heard tell it can, and has, shot through an entire brick house and killed a person hiding behind it. But what you got to trade for it?¡±

 Chapter 20: Gunnin

    Daddy looks excited ¡°that there is something what we probably want. Something exactly what we want!¡± he''s looking at me, jazzed and looking for my approval. I give him a thumbs up. Cole looks sideways at Daddy but gets up and walks out of the room. Daddy whispers to me, ¡°hotdog! We¡¯s about to be the masters of this wood! We can probably shoot a deer or something right through a tree! Turn the deer inside out and knock down a tree at the same time! I ain¡¯t know there was anything like that in the world! Wonders don¡¯t never cease!¡±


    Cole comes back out holding something that looks like it''s from the future and sets it on the table. ¡°This here is plenty big enough for pretty much anything.¡± He takes a shell out of his pocket the size of a bottle of hot sauce and sets it next to the gun. Daddy is hefting the gun up and waving it around and making POW! POW! POW! Sounds. Cole looks at me askance and I shrug. ¡°Well¡± Cole says ¡°let''s get on outside and see what you can hit.¡± Daddy is buzzing and heads right for the door, but Cole says ¡°wait. You forgot this¡± and tosses the shell to Daddy.


    He fumbles it and drops it to the floor and he cringes like it¡¯s going to go off, and when it doesn¡¯t, he picks it up and heads on out the door. Cole and I follow and Daddy is on the porch, holding the huge shell in his fist against the gun and aiming at a tree. He pulls the trigger and nothing happens. Cole says ¡°you have to put that in the gun for it to shoot.¡± Daddy goes, ¡°oh! I thought it was like for balance or something¡± and he sticks out his tongue and starts poking the shell at the gun and tries to put it in the end of the barrel but it ain¡¯t fit so Cole comes up to him and takes the gun and the shell and demonstrates.


    ¡°Pull this back¡± he click clacks the gun, ¡°and put this in¡± and he shoves the shell in the gun and click clacks it closed again. ¡°Now it¡¯ll shoot some things.¡± Daddy nods like he knew it all along. He hefts it up and it sure does look heavy. He says ¡°I wonder what all I can shoot¡± and he aims down the gun and swivels about, pointing at trees and a small doghouse and at the chimney. Cole says ¡°take aim at that there truck¡± and gestures at a rusted out rounded truck without tires nor an inside and it¡¯s pocked with holes already like that''s the thing they like to shoot at the most out here.


    Daddy gives a big wink at me and takes aim. Me and Cole cover our ears. He pulls the trigger and the sound is so loud, there is no sound. I feel the shock in my chest from ten feet away and Daddy is sitting on the ground now and the gun is in the dirt where he dropped it and there ain¡¯t no new hole in the rusted-out truck. Cole walks over and picks up the gun, wiping dirt off of it with his sleeve. ¡°This here I expect might be too big for what you have in mind as it¡¯s for shooting things about a mile away.¡±


    Daddy is rubbing his shoulder that the gun had been on and says ¡°that there ain¡¯t no gun, that¡¯s a Martian blaster and I ain¡¯t trying to get involved in no secret government alien technology.¡± He stands up and takes a breath. ¡°What all else you got?" Cole gestures back inside. We follow and take our seats at the table while Cole goes into the back. He comes out with a little rifle what looks like the BB gun Joe shot me with, only it looks a little different. ¡°This here ain¡¯t got much kick, but it¡¯ll take down about a coyote and some squirrels and I guess a deer too if you get close enough and hit it right in the heart.¡± Daddy scoffs, ¡°how we supposed to hunt us a bear for all that big meat?¡±


    Cole says ¡°ain¡¯t no need to take down no bear to get meat. I see you got a good aim so it¡¯ll be easy for you to hit pretty much whatever you¡¯re aiming at. Tell you true, I bet you could even hit a can straight out of the air what¡¯s been thrown up for you¡± and he looks at me and winks. ¡°These here are what goes inside to make it shoot¡± and he plunks down a handful of what look like elongated pencil erasers. Daddy picks up the gun, only more gingerly this time and hefts it around and says ¡°I do believe this here is the perfect weight. Just you watch as I hit that truck this time.¡±


    He grabs up the shells and puts them in his pocket and once more heads outside. While Daddy is out there Cole says to me ¡°I¡¯m only doing you this favor since Uncle calls you true and true, and even if he do get his spells, Uncle can spot the truth. You shown yourself in the woods and you is respected in this place for being the only person who ever shot Uncle. It mayn¡¯t seem like it, but Uncle thinks highly of you and ain¡¯t stopped talking about what you done since you left yesterday. I said maybe we¡¯d meet again and I¡¯m glad you done comed back over. You got something different than your brother or your Daddy and you ought to be the one to use that gun when you get back home and not no one else.¡±


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    I look at Cole and says ¡°that there is my Daddy and if you think I¡¯m true, I¡¯m telling you he¡¯s true too.¡± Cole looks at me seriously then nods his head back and forth. ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡± He gets up and heads out the door to watch Daddy. I follow and Daddy is pointing the gun at the truck. He has his tongue out, one eye squinted hard, and he fires off and it sounds like someone is clapping loud with wet hands and there''s a snap afterward that echoes through the trees and he done hit the truck this time. ¡°That¡¯s the one! Why ain¡¯t you start me with this one! I done shot something like this when I was little and boy, I could plop a bird off a tree at a thousand yards to the point where all the birds in the area would take wing when they saw me coming!¡±


    Daddy takes aim at the truck again and confidently fires it, but it goes wild and we ain¡¯t seen where the bullet goes. Daddy says ¡°I knew the barrel was a little crooked. Look here Scamp, see how curved it is? Like a lop-sided pool cue.¡± He hands it over, barrel pointed at my chest and I take it from him carefully. I look at Cole and his eyebrows are raised. I look it over and I ain¡¯t seen no crooked barrel, but Daddy probably knows what he¡¯s talking about. ¡°Take a shot ol¡¯ Scamp! See if you can do better than your old man¡±


    He crosses his arms smugly. ¡°That¡¯s ok Daddy¡± I say ¡°you is probably right, this here gun is no good for it don¡¯t shoot straight at nothin¡¯¡± but Daddy insists ¡°have to grow up some time and now¡¯s a good a time as any to shoot your first gun.¡± I shrug and take aim at the truck and fire away and there¡¯s a clonk sound as it¡¯s a hit and Daddy says I was probably aiming off so that¡¯s why I hit it. I pull back on the thing uncle showed us on his other gun and a small empty shell flips out and hits Daddy In the forehead and he flinches back. ¡°watchit! That was hot! Watch trying to get me burned, boy!¡± I clack another shell in and fire again and it hits right next to the other hole I made. I fire again and again and Daddy is just watching now. The gun stops firing with a click and there¡¯s a good many holes all in one spot and Daddy ain¡¯t commenting now. ¡°Welp¡± Daddy says to Cole, ¡°what you in the mood for tradin¡¯ on this here crooked gun?¡±


    Cole says ¡°y¡¯all just have it. That there was on the bottom of a pile of blankets and uncle ain¡¯t shot it for so long, he probably ain¡¯t know he even owns it. Plus-wise, I¡¯m the man of the house now and I say y¡¯all can just have it.¡± Daddy looks surprised ¡°by God but that there is real generous of you. We give our thanks.¡± Cole waves his hand at that and goes into the house, coming back out shortly, carrying a plastic bag of more shells. ¡°This here is about 300 shells and that ought to get you a few things to eat. Only one thing¡± Daddy is poised for the part where this is all too good to be true.


    He gestures at me, ¡°You let that one shoot at things for you. You look like a busy man and probably shouldn¡¯t be bothered to do that kind of work. Heard tell you got some gardening type things to do around your property so you can keep from starving.¡± Daddy nods and says that¡¯s just right, he got plenty to do without having to get all the food in the woods. He¡¯s an idea man and needs time to ponder some. Cole says ¡°well then, I guess that¡¯s about all. I¡¯ll let Uncle know you all got some things to trade and maybe he wants to let go of some other things. You all looking for some metal poles? Can come in real handy out here.¡±


    Daddy says that may be and to tell his Uncle that he¡¯s got roughly a shit ton of corn which can be eaten, or fed to animals, or even put in the ground where it¡¯ll come back up with more corn if it takes a good notion to the soil. Cole says he¡¯ll tell him. We all get to leavin¡¯, only before we do I go up to Cole and give him the special wrist shake to check for knives and he does the same. Cole pulls me close then and whispers something in my ear ¡°you watch out for that one. I know he¡¯s your Daddy, but something ain¡¯t right with him. You watch him close; you hear? He got more uncle in him than he lets on.¡± I draw back, and Cole lets me go.


    Daddy and I walk back toward the direction we came, me carrying the gun and Daddy holding the bag of shells. I turn back once and Cole is raising his hand up and I raise the gun then turn back. Daddy calls back to Cole ¡°make sure your uncle gets that can o¡¯ ashes right away when he gets home for it¡¯ll do him right!¡± and we head out. Along the way, Daddy is chortling about how lucky we was that we ain¡¯t have to give up none of our corn. He tells me now to keep a lookout for anything we can shoot on the way home so we can cook up a good meal right when we get there. I watch Daddy along the way.

 Chapter 21: Brown and Greasy

    We is all getting along up here ok what with us getting a garden all up and going. We have us a fierce amount of corn at Daddy¡¯s behest. Momma done snuck some other seeds in there so we can have something what ain¡¯t yellow all the time. They¡¯s beans which is what she chose and Jacob got to choose a thing to plant too and he picked beets since it makes your poops red and he thinks that¡¯s the funniest thing ever. For my choice I picked tomatoes for I like spaghetti a lot and I heard tell that¡¯s one of the things what is needed to make sauce for spaghetti, only I ain¡¯t exactly sure how it goes in there. Only thing I know is we ain¡¯t get no cans of spaghetti sauce up here in these woods.


    Daddy done taken care of the inside of the house and it ain¡¯t so bad as it once was what with nothing covering the doors so we could all see each other all the time. We have our couch so we can all look at the T.V. when we run out of things to do. The power still ain¡¯t work up here yet although heard tell Daddy is in cahoots with Uncle next door to suck the power off the lines for free what run through the woods in a big empty swath like it was cut by a giant lawnmower. It still ain¡¯t come to no fruition and Daddy says them wires is hot enough to cook a bird into a black char if they took a notion to resting on one for too long. He ain¡¯t want to burn both of his arms off, so we¡¯s been canning what all we get from the garden and eating up everything we kill out here before it goes to spoiling. For T.V., we take turns cutting out pictures we all like from the magazines. We lick the back sides of them and slap them on the T.V. screen so they stick real good and if you watch the pictures long enough, you can about see them move a little bit. Just like watching T.V. for real.


    Jacob and Me''s room is fixed up real good now. We have our separate beds, and I have a little board shelf over my bed Daddy hammered into the wall that I can show my finds in the woods. Jacob got a poster over his bed of a basketball player, name of Michael Jordan, and we ain¡¯t quite for sure who that is, but heard tell from just about anyone you ask that he¡¯s the best there is at putting a basketball where it needs to go, which is good, I guess. Momma and Daddy¡¯s room is small and we ain¡¯t allowed to go in there unless they ask for us to get something or other out of it, and even then, we have to do it fast fast for Momma and Daddy like their privacy. It¡¯s small out here so there ain¡¯t too much privacy going around except for in the woods, and they¡¯s only sticks and logs out there and is great fun, but sometimes you want to be inside.


    That garden come up faster than anyone thought and even sprouted some extras we all couldn¡¯t eat ourselves. Momma and Daddy do a little trading with neighbors, and we get us some chicken eggs from a close by man what got him a little trailer what he sits in all day in a chair that¡¯s gone brown with his behind grease. Daddy ain¡¯t ever take us there on account of how seedy Daddy says he is. He has interests in the same things Mitch the Bitch¡¯s Grandpa did and I¡¯m OK with Daddy not bringing us over there, for the sound of it makes me mighty uneasy.


    We get us some things to eat from time to time in the shape of bloody fur animals that Daddy chops up on a stump with a hatchet when they is shot through by me, and although Cole said you can kill something as big as a deer with the gun he give us, we ain¡¯t seen no deer around here and only a few squirrels and a skunk once. I ain¡¯t trying to kill no skunk and eat its smelly meat, so when I saw it, I never told nobody and just let it go. I¡¯m a pretty good shot with this here gun and have been practicing on the wildlife so we can toss something meaty into our guts. Daddy gives it a try sometimes too, but mostly he misses what all he¡¯s aiming at and anyway, he¡¯s set on pondering how we can make this property even better. Jacob is jealous that he cain¡¯t shoot this gun, but after we got back from Cole, Daddy set down the law that I was the main hunter and he ain¡¯t want nobody to waste no ammunition for he ain¡¯t even quite sure to get more of it.


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    We was aware of school where all the kids go every day, and it ain¡¯t too far from where our house is according to where Daddy done dropped off the wolf dog, but Daddy says he done school already and it¡¯s a waste of time and even though Jacob is ten and I¡¯m seven and both school age, we ain¡¯t never gone and rely on Daddy to teach us the outside school and Momma to teach us the inside school. So I expect that¡¯s enough for I don¡¯t have nothing else to base it on. We have us a few books with hard words in them, and I¡¯m expected to know how to read them and know what they mean, and Jacob is expected to know what all the whole book means and is working on his letters and writing about the books themselves while I get the hang of just looking at the letters and doing well enough with that. Momma teaches us while she takes them growing things from the garden and puts them in cans so the food don¡¯t just die outside on the ground. Oftentimes, we is all in the kitchen doing inside school while she has her back turned and is every once in a while burning her hands in a cloud of steam over the stove.


    After we do our inside learnings, Daddy sometimes has time for us to do the outside learnings. That¡¯s chopping wood for Jacob and stacking wood for me, since I ain¡¯t strong enough to cut through wood yet. Daddy says that¡¯ll happen soon enough, then I can graduate to first rate wood chopper, and Jacob can graduate to building things out of wood and writing numbers so the wood fits together.


    We all have us a routine and we is eating well enough now and we know some things what can be eaten from the woods direct, mostly by trial and error but we know to avoid the red mushrooms, and not to try to eat no bark even though it looks delicious. There¡¯s some green plants what taste peppery, and I ain¡¯t sure what they all are called but sometimes they is OK eating if you pile enough squirrel gravy on them.


    Time is passing by and this is maybe what Daddy wanted after all. To have enough time to pass, but sometimes he misses getting special things from the town, like what was easier to get when we were directly in there. He and Momma take trips back there although less frequently since we is getting to where we have everything we need up here and when they do go to town, they leave us behind, and as long as Jacob and me do our chores, we can do whatever we want. That usually involves playing with sharp things like knives, or axes, and setting little fires out in the wilderness like camping, even though we is pretty much camping all the time if you think about it.


    We explore the area some and we know where all uncle¡¯s house is of course, but there¡¯s some spots on our property here we can spy on the mysterious other people what live up here too, but only through the limbs of trees as their houses is pretty well tucked inside the woods, much like our house is. We ain¡¯t lean much about them other than they got a roof what is metal too and they burn wood, just like everyone else up here.

 Chapter 22: They Leavin’ Us Alone

    There¡¯s a little river what runs along our property line in the woods. It ain¡¯t much and don¡¯t hardly go higher than your knees, but it¡¯s fine enough for splashing in when the weather gets hot and they¡¯s all manner of interesting things to look at. One time I though I found gold on a rock, but when I showed it to Daddy, he says it''s fools gold, name of iron pyrite, but I put it on my shelf anyway and to me it¡¯s the real deal since I ain¡¯t seen no difference.


    Lately we¡¯ve been cooped together in the house as we¡¯re going through a rain spell what ain¡¯t let up for a week. We is staring at the T.V. with Jacob¡¯s latest choice of pictures on it and this time it¡¯s from a national geographic. It¡¯s an upside-down bat what has ears that look like a dog.


    sometimes I like looking at it, but sometimes I get the creeps from it, especially when I see it move just a little bit when I stare too long. Sometimes it looks like its mouth opens and its teeth are razor sharp, Momma says for eating fruit, but everyone knows they¡¯re really for sucking blood from people to turn them into bats too. I seen that on T.V. once. Daddy is pacing a lot these days from being cooped, and Momma is getting tired of him talking nonstop about the weather, and the rain, and the clouds, and the wetness, and they¡¯s about tearing out their hair for it. Me and Jacob is bickering since we is cooped too and I ain¡¯t like the way he looks at me. He is getting into my space on purpose because he¡¯s bored and bugging me is as good as T.V. to him, only it''s not good for me.


    I get in his space and he ain¡¯t like that either and we go back and forth while Momma and Daddy go back and forth too, and finally Daddy says he can¡¯t take it no more. We all need to get out of here and to the town before the rains wipe out the road to like what he hears happens from the neighbors. Heard tell the last time it happened, no one could leave for three full months and it ain¡¯t natural to be cooped for so long. Daddy is like a shark, always needing to be on the move otherwise he¡¯s liable to take a bite out of something.


    ¡°That¡¯s it!¡± Daddy says, ¡°you and me, Momma. We is going to town early tomorrow and I can¡¯t take this sitting around no more. I got about a thousand things need doing outside and everything is all wet out there and I ain¡¯t doing them in the wet nohow. I hate the mud, and I hate slippery hands, and I hate wet leather gloves, and I also ain¡¯t too happy about slipping on wet grass, and tell you the truth, it¡¯s getting so I hate even drinking water. I hate it!¡±


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    Momma agrees that the garden is all muddy too and she ain¡¯t like us all dragging in the mud into the house anyway and it would be nice to feel some cement under foot. Even if it¡¯s wet in town too, at least the cement won¡¯t stick to you like the mud do. Jacob and Me want to know if we get to go along this time for we was tired of the wet and mud also and we hate each other in here and we is always in all of our spaces all the time. We can¡¯t take it no more either.


    Daddy says that it''s just him and Momma what was going and we¡¯ll just have to get used to it since we is grown men and shouldn¡¯t be afraid of no rain or of being left alone. Jacob and I kick up a ruckus for we ain¡¯t want to be left up here while Momma and Daddy have a good time in town while we stare at a broken T.V. with a terrible picture of a hanging bat on it. Jacob is squawking now because he says that¡¯s his favorite picture, but I tell him that I hate it and bats is evil and they ain¡¯t nothing but furry birds with sharp teeth and they hang upside down and that makes them like a piece of fruit, and the thought of reaching up to grab a piece of fruit from a tree and grabbing a flabby hot bat instead makes me want to puke.


    Jacob says to take it back since bats is his favorite thing in the world, and I say I ain¡¯t never taking it back and I rush over and rip that bat picture off the T.V. and tear it up and Jacob is coming at me with a murderous look in his eyes and Daddy and Momma is breaking us up and shouting. Me and Jacob start crying and Daddy is shaking his head and says, ¡°We all need to get away from each other for a while. Momma and me is going to town tomorrow and that¡¯s final. You all is going to do your chores, and stay in different rooms until we come back, and if I hear that you all have been fighting while we is gone, I¡¯ll make one of you sleep in the outhouse for a week and you think this is close quarters? Wait until you have to fall asleep next to a hole that reaches to the center of the earth and is filled with turd towers.¡±


    Me and Jacob both keep quiet even though Jacob sticks his tongue out at me and I shake my fist at him. Daddy goes on, ¡°If you all behave yourselves while we is gone, you¡¯ll both get a treat of your own choosing, provided it ain¡¯t cost money. For we ain¡¯t got none.¡±

 Chapter 23: Rain in the River

    ¡°They¡¯s gone¡± Jacob was whispering in my ear. It was morning and I was sleeping on the couch since I ain¡¯t want to sleep in the same room as Jacob last night since he was the worst, and I told him so. Secretly, I wanted to catch Momma and Daddy leaving early so I could talk them into letting me come along and to leave Jacob behind. But I guess they done sneaked out on me and now Jacob and Me is all left alone.


    I get up and check outside just to make sure the truck still ain¡¯t there, but it¡¯s gone and it¡¯s still raining as hard as ever and the corn is bent with the wet. Since we ain¡¯t sure how long Momma and Daddy is going to be gone for, we both sigh and get going with our chores since they have been known to forget something and come hauling back, which sometimes catches us unawares and gets us in trouble. We tidy a little around the house but mainly just stack things up so they look cleaner. Jacob gets to chopping wood outside and I head out too and stack it like we is supposed to until we graduate.


    Jacob is cutting corners and not chopping the wood small enough to fit in the wood stove, but I ain¡¯t care none since that ain¡¯t none of my affair and he can get into trouble if he wants to. My job is just to stack and that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing. Steam is rising off our wet clothes and Jacob holds out his arm and it¡¯s steaming real good and he says, ¡°my arm has the power! I can light pretty much anything on fire with this here arm!¡± I hold out my hand too and they¡¯s steam coming off my fingers and I feel magic and this ain¡¯t so bad after all. We finish up pretty quick and get on inside out of the rain and we is both bored already.


    I say maybe we can go through some book or another and put another picture on the T.V. and watch it but Jacob says he ain¡¯t staring at a picture for all day and he wants to get outside and go exploring. We think about all the best places to explore, but we already done seen them and they was only good when it wasn¡¯t so wet, and you can¡¯t lay in a field looking at the sky when everything is covered in water and that sounds like a good way to get a chill, and I ain¡¯t want no chill. Then Jacob gets a look in his eye. ¡°Hey!¡± he says ¡°With all this rain we got, I bet that river is about as high as she¡¯ll ever go! Bet she¡¯s rushing and throwing everything down stream and maybe we can watch a giant tree float down it and get all smashed up or something!¡± Jacob has been terrible lately, but I must admit that this is about as good an idea as he¡¯s ever had. I hop up and we is all excited, for we want to see that river pushing everything down it.


    We set out real quick and it ain¡¯t too far. Even from the house we can hear its rushing and I¡¯m amazed we ain¡¯t heard it when we was out before. Maybe we was just used to the sound being there and it was faded into the background. We hustle through the trees and it ain¡¯t too slippery although we still have to walk careful so we don¡¯t fall on a pile of sharp sticks and maybe get impaled and that won¡¯t end up too well since we is all alone right now. Pretty soon we reach the river and it¡¯s high up alright.


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    High enough to touch the trunks of the cottonwood trees that line the banks.


    It was rushing so fast that when I toss a stick in the middle, I counted only to five before the stick disappeared around the first bend in the river and it usually takes at least a count of ten and that means she was going double speed, and I¡¯m proud of knowing this fact on my own without no one having to point it out. We commence to walking along the banks of the river and Jacob says ¡°hey!¡±


    I look and Jacob has a brown bottle which we immediately get to playing with, filling it with silt, and leaves, and pretending it was a magic potion sometimes, and other times holding it under the water to try to catch little fish or tadpoles or the like although they ain¡¯t around like they usually are, seeing as how they probably got washed away with the brown rushing water. After we run out of ideas for the bottle, Jacob says that we should break it with a rock which makes me scared because I know only adults are supposed to have broken glass. Daddy says ¡°it¡¯ll kill you flat if you touch it wrong¡± and I start to cry because Jacob is going to break it anyway and we¡¯re going to get in trouble and possibly die and he says ¡°fine you big baby, I won¡¯t break it¡± and I feel relief as Jacob tosses the bottle in the river to float away fast, and that gives me an idea and I say maybe we should make boats. Jacob says we should make boats. We commence to making boats.


    Mine is a little lopsided as it¡¯s made of a round hunk of wood and don¡¯t stay upright too well and rolls around like a fat hog.


    Jacob made his boat out of an old board that he found in the woods nearby with a little barbed wire tacked to it, and we float them on the edge of the river and they float pretty well. Even though we is getting rained on, I¡¯m very happy in this moment. My boat picks up a little breeze from the leaf I stuck in it and it gets just out of my grasp and into the deeper white water, and this makes me sad.


    Jacob sees that I¡¯m sad so he takes his shoes off quick and starts to wade in after it for me, saying how big of a baby I am even though I know he ain¡¯t really mean it. The river is rushing hard, and the rain washes out all the roads sometimes and the stick I put in earlier went around the corner in five seconds and not ten seconds. Five seconds and not ten, which means it¡¯s moving double fast. Jacob is sliding into the water after my boat and the river is coasting along in a soupy torrent, and sticks and logs is traveling down it fast like a freeway. He reaches for the boat and has his fingers on it and he¡¯s going to bring it out to me, bring it on in so we can keep playing with the boats.


    He grabs it up and smiles like he done the best thing in the world and I guess he did, but he loses his footing and splashes into the water and the boat goes under and he goes under with the boat and out of sight and I think he¡¯s pretendin¡¯, to make me laugh.


    Jacob is staying under the water as a joke I guess, and I watch and my smile goes away and I know something is wrong and I stand up straight and run back and forth along the bank to catch sight of him. Oh Jacob stop pretendin¡¯, I don¡¯t need that boat back nohow and come back out now so we can go back to being adventurers and I don¡¯t see him. And I don¡¯t see him. And I don¡¯t see him.

 Chapter 24: Wood Chopping 101

    I¡¯m running out of breath now and I start to climb into the water, and the water is roaring and this rain washes out all the roads sometimes and it¡¯s too strong and I almost lose my balance like Jacob done but I get out and I start running along the bank downriver. The low cottonwood branches are sliding across my face and cutting me up but I pay them no mind and I run down the river and I look for Jacob but I ain¡¯t see him, and I call out for him but he don¡¯t call out for me back and I run for what seemed like forever and I fall down over a log and land on my knees in the mud.


    I roll over and lay down and cry and look to the river and there he is. Caught on a log in the river and his clothes are wet and his hair is flowing in the water like seaweed and I stumble to him, splashing along the bank of the river. I reach him and I call out but Jacob ain¡¯t calling back and he¡¯s so heavy, and his head is under the water, and I can only reach his leg and I pull as hard as I know how to, and he comes free and I pull him in and his head is still under water and I grab his arm now and wrench him from that water and onto the muddy weed choked bank. His head isn¡¯t under the water no more and Jacob should talk now, but he ain¡¯t, and Jacob should tell me it was a joke now and we can both laugh, but he ain¡¯t.


    I shake him and he ain¡¯t come to and I put my hand on his chest but I can''t feel nothing going on in there and I gently slap his face but he don¡¯t move, and I slap his face harder and I don¡¯t know what to do. Not at all. I sit for long and long next to Jacob and the rain falls around me and it¡¯s getting darker and darker and Daddy and Momma are going to be worried if we ain¡¯t at the house if they come back early, and Jacob is so heavy and I ain¡¯t able to take him with me. I ain¡¯t able to move him home. I yank hard on his arms and he slides through the mud a little, but his pant leg gets caught on a root and my arms is shaking, and they ain¡¯t working hard enough anymore. Then I see myself from above and I¡¯m not in myself and they¡¯s a buzzing sound coming from inside my head and I black out like falling asleep.


    Daddy and Momma is coming through the door and I¡¯m on the couch in the dark, sitting upright. They look at me funny for I¡¯m covered in mud and I ain¡¯t sure how I came to be here. I hold out my hand and look at it confused like it ain¡¯t mine and Daddy is lighting a candle and says he and Momma done forgot to bring his wallet. Ain¡¯t that just the goddamndest thing you ever heard? How they supposed to get anything in town without a wallet? Momma is bustling around, looking in drawers for it and they notice I ain¡¯t said hello and they¡¯s both looking at me now.


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    Daddy says, ¡°and don¡¯t think I ain¡¯t seen that wood pile when we came in, I done told Jacob them wood pieces need to be made smaller elsewise they ain¡¯t going to fit in the woodstove right. And how he expecting to graduate if he can¡¯t even remember wood chopping 101?¡± Daddy''s hands are on his hips. ¡°Where that Jacob at?¡± I ain¡¯t say nothing, just looking down at my hands. Momma stops what she¡¯s doing and is listening now. Daddy is calling out for Jacob and Momma is looking at me now and she says, ¡°where¡¯s Jacob, Gabe?¡± I say I ain¡¯t remember and they both get closer and they¡¯s asking how I don¡¯t remember, and when I seen him last, and their voices are running together so I can¡¯t understand what they¡¯re saying and I shout, ¡°I don¡¯t remember! I don¡¯t remember!¡± And they is taken aback, but is now sensing something is dead wrong here. Daddy starts shaking me and yelling incoherent, and something comes loose in my mind and it¡¯s a bright flash and Jacob is at the river. I done left Jacob at the river.


    Momma and Daddy tear out of there and I sit and see Jacob and me done missed a spot on the table when we were cleaning earlier. There¡¯s a small soup puddle congealed with a film on the top. There¡¯s a fly climbing lazily over it and we¡¯re going to need to clean that up before Momma or Daddy see it as they won¡¯t give us no reward for doing our chores all the way.


    After a good long while I hear Momma outside wailing and they¡¯s coming closer and I look out the window and Daddy has a package in his arms, and they come closer, and the package is Jacob and they found him. They bring him inside and Daddy lays him on the floor and listens at his chest like I done before. He sits him up and pounds on his chest and Momma is rocking back and forth on the floor and wailing, and Jacob is white as anything and his lips are blue and his hair is wet.


    Daddy pushes on his chest and slaps Jacob and screams in his face ¡°Spit it out!¡± He slaps Jacob some more and pounds on his chest and sits him up again and pounds on his back and Jacob is coughing now. Jacob is alive and coughing now. Big globs of mud and leaves and water come out of him like he drank up the entire river and Momma runs to him and holds him.


    Daddy flings off his river wet hands and says ¡°Jesus fukkin¡¯ Christ¡± in a shaky voice and commences to sitting down at the dinner table, starts cleaning up that soup puddle with the side of his shaking hand and Momma is rocking Jacob on the floor. They cover Jacob with the big green wool blanket Daddy always says come from Australia and they put him on his bed and he ain¡¯t said nothin¡¯ yet. I expect he ain¡¯t have much to talk about.

 Chapter 25: Nothing Like a Good Cup of Tea

    Jacob smells now like the outhouse. Momma is taking the blanket off and Daddy picks him up and they take him away. Momma comes back in and turns over the mattress and Daddy comes in with Jacob in his arms and lays him back down and they both look at him and Daddy wipes his forehead with his sleeve. Momma has her hand over her mouth and they stand there. Lookin¡¯ at Jacob.


    Momma and Daddy take off after watchin¡¯ him for a while and leaves me here with Jacob. He¡¯s staring off into space and after a while of looking at him, I whisper ¡°Jacob¡± but his eyes look like they¡¯re covered in plastic wrap and he don¡¯t do nothin¡¯. I get up and start to tidy my bed up and Jacob is staring at the wall above my bed. I look where he¡¯s looking and all I see is the wall and maybe a hard booger I put there when I didn¡¯t want to get up and blow my nose in the night.


    I look back at Jacob but he still ain¡¯t doin¡¯ much of nothing so I give him a pat and put a stuffed gorilla next to his head and I walk out of there. I shuffle around outside and Daddy is working on banging on something off in the woodshed and I don¡¯t want to get too close, so I wander around and pick up an old squirt gun I left out a while ago since it leaked all over your hand and you were likely to get more wet than the other guy if you held it wrong. I pick it up and there¡¯s still a little water in the handle what covers the little squirt gun straw that sips it out and sprays it at things.


    I take a few sneezy shots at some flying carpenter ants buzzing around and I think I hit one, but then the gun runs out of water all the way and I drop it again into the driveway dust. I think about climbing the tree at the end of the driveway to check out an old watch I wrapped around the trunk way up there, like the tree was wearing it, but those branches never were no good and I always ended up with sticky sap on my fingers that wouldn¡¯t go away. I give it up and wonder what Jacob is doing now.


    I go back inside and Momma is there, doing something in the kitchen what looks like maybe putting some rice into a jar to keep off the mice. We had a problem with them on account of how we lived out in their woods and it was free food for them if they were sneaky enough. She¡¯s looking away so I walk on past to me and Jacob¡¯s room so I don¡¯t have to do dishes or wipe something off and I peek in our room and Jacob is still in the bed and the gorilla is still there and it ain¡¯t moved.


    I try to tell Jacob a joke to get him to do something, but it¡¯s like tapping on the glass of an aquarium to get the fish to buzz around. On the floor next to Jacob¡¯s mattress is a cup of tea Momma brought him. It¡¯s the light blue one with a chip on it, but the chip is on the back side so it doesn¡¯t touch your lips if you drink right. We all know how to drink out of that cup and all our lips have been on it about a hundred times. It¡¯s still full and the string with the paper on it is wet and stuck to the side of the cup and Jacob ain¡¯t touched it even though I see it¡¯s the red zingberry like he likes with about eight spoons of sugar in it.


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    ¡°Hey butthead, you might drink that or the ants¡¯ll come for it.¡± Jacob is still looking at that spot above my bed. I grab up the tea and chug it down just to get a rise out of him. He¡¯s acting like a dummy and I¡¯m bored and I want Jacob up, but he doesn¡¯t move even as I drink and I put the cup down and heave a big sigh like it was the best thing I ever tasted. ¡°Ahhhhh, nothing like a nice cup of tea.¡± I watch him for movement and when he ain¡¯t moved I say again ¡°I said nothing like a good cup of tea!¡±


    He still ain¡¯t move, and I start shouting and shaking him by the shirt collar, ¡°nothing like it! Nothing at all! Pretty much the best goddamn tea I ever drank!¡± The stuffed gorilla slumps over and Jacob slumps over and Jacob is a stuffed animal too. Momma comes in then, carrying an empty jar like she got interrupted half way through doing something and she says Jacob needs some rest and why don¡¯t I just head on outside for a bit and let him do that. I say ¡°he¡¯s just being lazy and he ain¡¯t want to play with me, that¡¯s all and he¡¯s probably still sore from me tearing up his stupid bat picture.¡±


    Momma touches my arm ¡°Gabe, Jacob ain¡¯t playing around with you. He done had him filled up to the brim with water and I ain¡¯t sure how it works, but that stopped his head from working for too long and now we ain¡¯t sure if he¡¯s going to come all the way back. We ain¡¯t even sure he¡¯s going to keep on living. If we hadn¡¯t come back the way we did early last night, Jacob wouldn¡¯t be in this bed right now. He¡¯d be buried.¡±


    I disbelieve her for I ain¡¯t never hear of no one dying from getting too much water in them and I say as much to Momma. She sighs and says ¡°You ain¡¯t protect him like a brother should and I can¡¯t help but think you could have stopped him. Why you let him get so close to the river? Why you let him go in, Gabe?¡± Momma¡¯s voice is rising and I shake my head ¡°I ain¡¯t, we was playing boats, and he went in after my boat and, and, and Jacob wanted to break a bottle and I done stopped him from doing that! I done stopped that!¡±


    Momma looks at me, not unkindly and says ¡°if this boy dies, my boy, your brother, it¡¯s you who is the one responsible. Do you understand that?¡± I shake my head ¡°that ain¡¯t so! I ain¡¯t the one killed him! It was the water and I ain¡¯t even thought up the idea of going to the river. I wanted to just look at a picture stuck to the T.V. instead, but Jacob wanted to go! He wanted to!¡± I grab Jacob by the shoulders and shake him and yell ¡°I ain¡¯t want to go to the river! I ain¡¯t want my boat back! Why you go in and get my boat for!?¡± Jacob don¡¯t respond and Momma pulls me away and says it¡¯s time for me to go now, for we ain¡¯t want Jacob hurt even more than I already done to him.

 Chapter 26: Lick the Soup Off My Hands

    I run and there ain¡¯t no particular direction but to just run away from where Jacob is. He¡¯s probably dying because of me and I slow down and try to make a deal to keep Jacob alive, only it¡¯s not God I talk to since he¡¯s not real, but it¡¯s the Devil since he¡¯s real. I seen his claw marks on the trees. I say ¡°Devil. Bring back Jacob now and you can hit me with a bus when I¡¯m older¡± and it makes me feel a little better like I¡¯m doing something.


    I¡¯m walking now and I happen into the spot where the river runs through the woods, but it¡¯s at a different spot and I set down on the bank and stare at the water running by. I toss a rotten leaf into it and watch it get carried away and I wished that I was the leaf. I set by that river for what felt like a good long while. The sun is way high up and starting to fall back the other way, so I know Momma and Daddy have probably talked about what they¡¯re going to do with me, seeing as how Jacob is probably dead because of me. Maybe they¡¯ll throw me in the river now and I probably deserve it. My stomach is rumbling, then I seen a blue bird float by on the wing over the river and land on a branch, and that makes me feel a little better.


    I walk back slowly to the house and before I get there, I look at it from afar and I see through the window that Momma and Daddy is both inside. They¡¯s walking around in there, so I head on in, ready to run if I need since I ain¡¯t too sure how they feel about me causing Jacob to almost get killed. When I step inside, Momma looks up sharply from what she¡¯s doing. She got her a pot of soup. Daddy says ¡°where you been! I seen you take off at a lope and I yelled after you, but you didn¡¯t stop and I almost had to go hunting for you like a chicken in the woods. By God you get in here and help your Momma, else I¡¯ll have to chain you to a tree and cover you in honey so the bears come and pick at your skin, and the buzzards turn you inside out with their knife beaks! I ain¡¯t about to have another one of my kin go in the river and come out like a dead fish.¡±


    Daddy and Momma was both in foul moods. I think quick about running again, but there ain¡¯t no food in the woods for me and Momma got some soup, so maybe I¡¯ll eat that real quick. Then run away. Momma ladles out some soup and comes to me and puts a hot bowl into my hands and gives me the spoon with the etched metal flowers on it. We all been eating with that spoon for as long as I can remember, and I wonder how many times Jacob held it, not knowing it would be used this way.


    The bowl sloshes some since I¡¯m nervous and can¡¯t grab so good. It¡¯s on my hands and fingers and it¡¯s burning, but If I drop it, they might both fall on me like feral dogs on a dying cow. I ain¡¯t never felt this way about Momma and Daddy. I ain¡¯t know they could hate me so much. I stand there with soup on my hands and Momma tells me to give Jacob that soup since he¡¯s going to starve otherwise, and I need to do my part. I walk toward our room with their eyes on me. Walking feels unnatural, like I¡¯m on a stage. I fumble a little, and more soup gets on my hands.


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    I look up quick and Daddy is shaking his head. Momma is looking away like she can¡¯t stand to see me. The room is smelly like farts and musty pee, and I set the bowl on the floor next to Jacob¡¯s bed and I look up real quick to see if Momma or Daddy are watching. They ain¡¯t, so I lick the soup off of my hands and I look down at Jacob. They changed his shirt and I see his sad and empty eyes. They ain¡¯t look like Jacob eyes and I¡¯m afraid he¡¯s not Jacob any more. I dip a spoonful of the soup and gently put it to his lips and pour it in. It goes in good enough, but the soup dribbles out onto the mattress next to his head and I cuss ¡°fuck¡± under my breath. Then I get scared and look up again, to make sure Momma or Daddy didn¡¯t hear me, but they didn¡¯t so I say it again and I feel a little better. Jacob¡¯s lips and chin is all slick and there¡¯s a slimy chunk of tomato on his lip, so I wipe it off with the corner of his blanket and I try again, only not so much this time. It sits there in his mouth and he ain¡¯t move his mouth nor try to chew.


    I gently grab his chin and I move it up and down. I see his throat working now, and it goes down, then up. I open his mouth with my fingers and I see the soup is gone now like a magic trick, which is good. Maybe all Jacob needs is some good soup to warm him up so he¡¯s feeling like himself, and we can laugh about how he¡¯s acting now. I picture him saying, ¡°I ain¡®t even move one bit? you done fed me soup like a baby bird!?¡± I smile and I know he¡¯s going to be back soon.


    I say loudly so Momma and Daddy can hear that I¡®m doing what they asked. ¡°Wow! You sure are eating this down!¡± I see from the corner of my eye that Daddy is in the room, crept in quiet like our thieving mice. I pretend not to notice he¡¯s there. I scoop up more and give it to Jacob, slow like before, and I also do like before where I move his jaw up and down even though it¡¯s soup and he ain¡¯t need to chew it. The magic trick happens again, and Daddy says with a quavery voice, ¡°good. That¡¯s good.¡± He takes the bowl and spoon from my hands and heads out of the room toward the kitchen.


    I hear murmuring but I ain¡¯t heard the words, but I expect it has something to do with the soup Jacob ate. I look down at Jacob and his statue face, and I¡¯m waiting for him to come to since he has that soup in him now. I stand there for a while, and he still ain¡¯t showing that he¡¯s Jacob. I poke him in the ribs since that¡¯s what we do to trick each other into laughing, but he don¡¯t move, and don¡¯t get tricked into the laugh. I done everything I can. I shouldn¡¯t have run off on him while he was on the river, laying like a wet doll.


    Maybe I could have slapped him on the back like Daddy done and we could have walked back together. I can''t stand it no more and I¡¯m crying and I can''t look at him no more and I can''t listen to Daddy and Momma talking about him no more so I just walk out, through the living room and out the door and back into the woods where I can hit things with sticks and throw rocks at birds. I come back home after it¡¯s dark and I go inside and I go right to my bed and lie facing toward the wall Jacob looks at. I wake up and moonlight is in the room and it¡¯s bright and I see the dark blue shadows of the trees outside and the hunched shape of Jacob under his blanket across from me. I stare at him for a long time before falling back asleep.

 Chapter 27: The Darkness at the Edge of the Trees

    Momma and Daddy walk through the room in the morning and both gaze for a while at Jacob. Daddy puts the back of his hand against Jacob¡¯s mouth and he tells Momma he can still feel Jacob¡¯s hot breath. I¡¯m pretending to sleep and they¡¯s being quiet and talking low about how we¡¯s going to take care of him for they never done nothing like this before. Daddy says his aunt knows nursin¡¯, but she¡¯s across the country and ain¡¯t too good at it he suspects.


    She thinks dark circles under the eyes are a sign that you ain¡¯t poopin¡¯ enough. Momma whispers that it may be time to get Jacob down to town and to the hospital. Daddy says sharp that we can''t do that, and ain¡¯t got the money for it besides. Jacob is still alive and breathing and that¡¯s enough for now. He¡¯ll probably snap out of it, and he may just be in need of a rest, seeing as how he was in the water for so long. I hear more murmuring and I can''t quite make it out, but they call each other by Ross and Robyn so I know they talkin¡¯ serious.


    My eyes is closed, but I feel it as they talk their words in my direction and I know they is talking about me, only I don¡¯t rightly know what they¡¯re saying. They walk out of the room and I open my eyes and Jacob is in the same spot, and he ain¡¯t better like what we were hoping he would be. I hear Momma and Daddy far enough away in the house now that I can heave up out of bed and crouch over Jacob. I can see he¡¯s breathing too and I touch his cheek and it¡¯s wet and hot and his hair is damp on the edges. I peel back his blanket to give him some air, and I see there¡¯s a wet spot around his hips and a smell I know is pee and he ain¡¯t done that since we hid from ghosts when we was real little.


    I wonder if he sees them again.


    I don¡¯t know if I should call Momma and Daddy over to help him since I ain¡¯t know what to do when someone pees in the bed, but I¡¯m afraid they¡¯s still mad at me for leaving Jacob alone on the river bank with his lungs filled with leaves and mud.


    I look out of our room and they¡¯s standing in the kitchen. Daddy is looking out the window at nothing. Momma is talking to him fast, and he¡¯s a stone and not nodding nor looking at her. She slaps his arm and he looks at her then with a powerful anger, and Daddy ain¡¯t had that look in him from what I¡¯ve ever seen. He gets close to her face and I hear him say loud and clear.


    ¡°Jacob done gone in the water, and he ain¡¯t breath for long enough in a row. He¡¯s either going to make it up here alone, with us, or not at all.¡± Momma pulls back from him like she was slapped. Her cheeks are fire red and she says, ¡°if you don¡¯t take Jacob to town for someone to look close at him, it¡¯s as good as you killing that boy. Gabe done left him in the dark and with his stomach filled with mud and leaves, but with or without Gabe leaving him, it¡¯s you what¡®s going to kill him.¡± Daddy turns from her and looks back out the window and Momma brushes past him and slams the door as she leaves the house.


    I watch Daddy for a long time, and he¡¯s not moving or doing nothin¡¯ besides staring out that window and humming to himself a tuneless hum. Tapping his toe on the floor from time to time like he¡¯s in a different place where no son comes back from the river a different son. I walk slow up to him and he don¡¯t change his hum nor the tapping. I stand next to him and look outside the window and see the garden what has been feeding us and Momma is in it.


    She is stooped, violenting up the weeds, her pony tail flying around her back as she works with abandon through the corn and tomatoes and runner beans. Throwing weeds, and rocks, and dirt clods, as hard as she can in every direction. Her bare hands and knees covered in dirt and her dirty face streaked from her eyes to her chin and she ain¡¯t never going to stop.


    Daddy and I stand there together. He finally looks at me and is surprised like he didn¡¯t know I was there the whole time. He gestures out the window. ¡°She just doing some weeding I expect. Gotta tend to them plants so we can eat them. Right, ol¡¯ Scamp?¡± I nod and he gives me a slap on the shoulder and says ¡°that¡¯s real good, you unnerstand what all it takes to be up here. what with pulling weeds and the like. Yes indeed. Welp, I got some things what also need attending to, and this here is an important errand I got to run. I may be gone for a while, but I¡¯ll be back soon¡¯s I can. Ain¡¯t that right? Always come back as soon as I can?¡±


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    His eyes are like wet marbles and I say ¡°you sure do Daddy. You come on back just as quick as you can all the time, and we is always glad for it.¡± He nods and stands there, thinking about something, then nods again like he done figured out what he was thinking about and he says ¡°well ¡®ol Scamp. I best be off¡± and I say ¡°bye Daddy¡± as he walks to the door, but he ain¡¯t turned back nor give an answer and he ain¡¯t bring nothing with him, just walks to the truck, gets in, and takes right off. I look out the window at Momma and she¡¯s taken to sitting on the ground, hunched over so I can see the bones in her back through her worn white shirt like a hundred knuckles.


    I decide that Jacob needs some fresh air. ¡°Gettin¡¯ on up now!¡± I say ¡°getting¡¯ on outside to peek around, and find maybe some treasures or somethin¡¯ interesting!¡± I try to pick him up, but he¡¯s so heavy. I try to drag him by his legs, but his shirt catches on the floor and rucks up and I see his stomach and it looks hollow. I realize he ain¡¯t ate nothin¡¯ since I fed him that soup and I ain¡¯t seen Momma nor Daddy give him nothin¡¯, not even no water which don¡¯t taste like nothing, but you sure like it when you feel thirsty.


    ¡°Wait there!¡± I say ¡°first you need some fuel for this outdoor exploration!¡± I hop to my feet and go into the kitchen to look for something I can give him so he don¡¯t get too hungry. Soup is good. It got water and food in it and I look for some but there ain¡¯t none left. I guess it all got finished up yesterday. I go through the cupboards and there ain¡¯t much since we ain¡¯t go shopping like most folks. Daddy is always proud about that because we make our own food, but most of it is outside still and in the ground. Since there ain¡¯t nothing for Jacob to eat inside, I decide to tiptoe on out to the garden and grab up a few things what look easy to eat and I ain¡¯t want to so much since Momma is out there still and the thought of talking to her makes me nervous.


    I head outside anyway and walk careful to the garden, and I reach for a lettuce what looks green enough and ain¡¯t no bugs on it so I grasp it up and it¡¯s warm with the sun and smells like the outdoors and it¡¯s a good smell. I peer at Momma out of the corner of my eye and she¡¯s lookin¡¯ at me and not saying anything. I find some beans growing on a vine and I pick them too, and this¡¯ll have to be enough for Momma was making me jumpy, just staring and not saying anything. It startles me and I almost drop Jacob¡¯s food when she says ¡°Daddy left¡± and now she¡¯s rocking back and forth. ¡°Daddy left and you think he¡¯s going to get someone to look at Jacob? He done tell you that was what he was doing? Before he left?¡± I say ¡°no Ma¡¯am, he done told me he was going to run a special errand, and he was going to come back as quick as he could.¡±


    Momma stands up and walks close to me and says ¡°your Daddy ain¡¯t helping that boy. He¡¯s leaving him to flounder in the sea until he goes under for good. Your Daddy ain¡¯t even reach in a hand to pull him out.¡± She caresses my face and I¡¯m looking down at my hands and at the lettuce and bean for Jacob ¡°you love your brother? You love Jacob?¡± And I nod and say ¡°he ain¡¯t drowning like you say. Jacob is in there and that soup ain¡¯t brought him out, but I¡¯m fixin¡¯ to get him wound back up again since he¡¯s probably just tired from being in the water for too long. Pretty soon we¡¯s going to go out and build a fort together.¡± Momma nods and looks down at the food I got and says ¡°you all get movin¡¯ then. Get to windin¡¯ that Jacob back up. You doin¡¯ just fine. Just fine.¡±


    I say yes Momma and she turns her back on me and sits on the ground between a row of tall corn. I¡¯m about to walk back inside when she calls out, ¡°Gabe.¡± She gestures at the tree line. ¡°Heard tell, just beyond where the trees stop and the dark starts, there¡¯s something that watches us. If you look long enough, you¡¯ll catch a glimpse. It¡¯s as tall as a tree and it¡¯s as dark as the sky before the stars come out and once you see it, you can''t not see it. You think that¡¯s true?¡± I stay quiet and she goes on.


    ¡°What you think will happen if you see it and don¡¯t look away?¡± I stand there, not knowing what to say, but those words spooked me. I say ¡°Momma, why you sittin¡¯ out here?¡± She waves her hand behind her without looking back. I stare at the tree line. I see where it turns from green to black, but I look away fast when I get a feeling like when a cloud covers the sun. I say ¡°okay, Momma¡± and I walk back inside. On the way to Jacob, I fill a glass of water and look up out the window at her. She¡¯s staring at the treeline and smiling.

 Chapter 28: Eat Some Beans

    I bring in what I got for Jacob and I start by giving him the water, but he¡¯s on his back and he gurgles as I pour it in his mouth, and I get scared like I¡¯m going to drown him. I sit him up quick, and slap his back and the water pours out of his mouth. I prop him against the wall and feed it to him in little sips and they seem to go down ok since I see his throat working.


    I pick off little pieces of the lettuce and poke them into his mouth and he swallows that too, so I move on to the beans and that goes about the same way. I think it¡¯s funny how Jacob now will eat his veggies when he couldn¡¯t abide by them before, and maybe that¡¯s a good thing, but I remember how before, Jacob would be funny when he would eat vegetables and would pretend to barf and that would make me laugh so hard water came out my nose once. I would pretend to barf too, but it wasn¡¯t as funny as when Jacob did it. ¡°Yuk!¡± I say ¡°them veggies is mighty terrible. Ain¡¯t that right?¡±


    I make fake barfing sounds and Jacob ain¡¯t crack a smile, but that¡¯s ok and then I picture Jacob, just under water like what Momma says so maybe he can hear me a little, even though I can''t bring him up out of it. I brush my hands together and say like Dady does, ¡°welp! After that delicious meal, I say we¡¯s about to go outside for an adventure!¡± I know I can''t lift him, and I ain¡¯t want to drag him on the floor again so I look around for something I can use. I grab up my blanket from my mattress and roll him onto it.


    ¡°Now you¡¯s an injured cowboy what with arrows and all kinds of things sticking out of you. Shouldn¡¯t have tangled with that tribe, and now I guess you¡¯re paying for it enough, but we got to get you to safety! Maybe even have to chop off one of your legs on account of how deep that arrow went into your kneecap. Don¡¯t that look like it smarts something awful!¡± I look around like I¡¯m alarmed ¡°here they come! I done heared a war whoop and they¡¯s closing in on us!¡± I grab up the corners of the blanket and drag Jacob out of the room and I pull him through the living room and out the front door.


    When we get out, I pull Jacob the opposite way of the garden for I ain¡¯t want Momma to see us and I ain¡¯t comfortable seeing her how she is right now. Pull him up into the woods under trees with high branches and the ground is covered in silky pine needles. He¡¯s pulling along better than I thought he would. I¡¯m getting out of breath and I stoop for a rest and I look up and there¡¯s a fat squirrel sitting in a tree. He¡¯s nibbling a pine cone, and there¡¯s bits of it sprinkling down and it¡¯s settling on Jacob and my shoulders and I say, ¡°watch out! They droppin¡¯ poison on us! They got the very wildlife against you now, and we better get moving!¡±


    I keep pulling him along, and we finally reach a spot on the top of a little hill all covered in clover. Me and Jacob found it before, and we liked to sit and watch animals eye us suspiciously while they ate near the edge of the clearing. I sit next to him and a wind ruffles his hair and that makes him look more alive. The purple clover flowers are good to suck on, and they taste like honey and I give some to Jacob for the sweet of it. Bumble bees are all about us, and I like them, for they look like black velvet and they ain¡¯t never in stinging moods. They only want to get the sweet from the hillside, like us.


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    We sit for a time and the sun goes behind a cloud, and I¡¯m cooled down after pulling Jacob and I get goosebumps, so I gather up the ends of Jacobs blanket and drag him back to the house, and it ain¡¯t as hard seeing as how it¡¯s now downhill. We get back to the house and I set Jacob down outside near the front door and peek around the corner at the garden, but Momma ain¡¯t there no more and I look inside the house and she ain¡¯t inside there either, so I drag Jacob the rest of the way inside to our room and lay him on his mattress. I can''t read too good yet on my own, but I have a few books what have lots of pictures in them that Daddy let me bring up here. I set beside Jacob and get to explaining what all the pictures mean, and what story they is telling, even though I can''t really be sure. ¡°Ok, Jacob. I¡¯ll read you my favorite story, and I expect the words tell it like it really is, but I¡¯ll tell you how it ought to be¡±


    I turn the pages until I come upon my favorite story. It¡¯s my favorite because it¡¯s a little spooky, but looking at the pictures and coming up with the story in the day time ain¡¯t like when it¡¯s dark when it makes me want to hide under things or make a small brick house and close it up at the top so nothing can get inside. ¡°Here we go¡± I point to a picture of a cartoon wolf with a small crooked top hat. ¡°That there is the number one wolf. He likes to wander around and lean on fence posts and stuff until people walk by and he can trip them and laugh.¡± I turn to the next page and there¡¯s the wolf again only wearing a white coat with a head on it like a sheep, and in the distance, you can see a flock of sheep, eating grass and flowers and frolicking around. ¡°This here is the part where he wants to be their friends. He thinks that if he wears a fancy coat, they¡¯ll ask him where he got it and he can tell them. Then he can ask them a question because that¡¯s what you call a conversation starter.¡±


    I turn to the next page and this one has the wolf peeking above a small hill so just his nose and the top of the sheep head coat are showing. ¡°This here is him getting closer, but he¡¯s shy and having second thoughts about walking up to them.¡± The next page shows the wolf running at the sheep with the sheep coat flopping around him. ¡°Here is where he¡¯s finally gotten enough courage to run on up and say hello. Good friend he is.¡± I turn to the next page and this one is my least favorite page. It shows a man running at the wolf with a huge stick with a long, curved end to it, and his face is terrifying. The wolf looks scared and is running away.


    ¡°Here is where the bad man chases away the wolf who just wants to show off his fine coat to the sheep. Now he¡¯s going to be alone forever.¡± I close the book and I hope I read this early enough in the day so that man¡¯s face doesn¡¯t give me nightmares. I read through another book with Jacob and I run out of ideas for what all we should do for the rest of the day. I look outside and wonder where Momma went off to, and when Daddy was going to be back.

 Chapter 29: Prime Pickin’s for a Bear’s Meal

    He said he would come just as quick as he could and he ain¡¯t brought nothing with him when he left, not even his wallet nor a jug of water or food, so I know he ain¡¯t planning on staying overnight unless it¡¯s inside his truck. I sit on my bare mattress with my arms hugging my legs and I talk to Jacob. I tell him I was sorry I done left him at the river and I tell him all the fun things we can do together, all the things we can make.


    We can dig a great big hole in the woods and cover it with secret tree branches so only we know the hole is there. It¡¯ll be a fort underground and no one will find it, and we can hide all manner of things inside and take flashlights and maybe make tunnels that run all over the property. We can pop up out of nowhere and surprise people and they¡¯ll think we¡¯re magic. They¡¯ll want to know our magic secret, but we ain¡¯t going to tell them.


    ¡°We ain¡¯t going to tell them nothing, Jacob¡± I whisper ¡°just us making tunnels and popping up wherever we please.¡± I talk on and on about our plans and Momma and Daddy still ain¡¯t back. It¡¯s dark now, and I know this is around eating time, but I ain¡¯t hungry no more. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever be hungry again. Maybe I should feed Jacob, but I don¡¯t know what all else to give him. The next thing I know, my eyes droop and I¡¯m asleep.


    I wake to a banging sound in the house. My first thought is that some big animal done broke through the door to find something good to eat. Maybe to drag off Jacob into the trees forever since he¡¯s prime pickings as he can''t run no more, nor give up a fight. I expect he wouldn¡¯t make a peep if something ate on him, even if it was slow eating. I creep to the corner of my mattress and lift it up and get under to hide, even though you can see my legs sticking out.


    I hear a drawer bang and I don¡¯t know if an animal can open drawers or not, so I keep listening and I hear muttering and swearing and a big thump like something falling over and I know Daddy''s home. I get a rush of relief and I run out to see him. He looks at me as I come into the living room and his eyes aren¡¯t focused on me, then they are, then they aren¡¯t again.


    Daddy gives a breathy laugh and slumps on the floor. I come to him and he says ¡°howdy ol¡¯ Scramp. Scamp! Scamp is what you are! Give me a kiss!¡± He grabs my neck with both hands and plants a sloppy one on my cheek, and his whiskers scratch and his breath is sour like a drain. ¡°I done come right back! Here I am!¡± He rolls on his back and looks at the ceiling. ¡°Commed right back! It ain¡¯t even too late, I guess. It¡¯s still today ain¡¯t it?¡± He sways his head and brings his wrist close to his eye and pulls it further back, then close again, even though he ain¡¯t got no watch.


    ¡°Yep! Right on time! Like I said!¡± He flops his arm onto the floor and gives a big sigh. ¡°Where that woman at? You see your Momma? She done with her chores in the garden? Get em¡¯ done real good so we can eat that fukkin¡¯... corn? Corn dogs?¡± I say I ain¡¯t seen Momma since I done took Jacob on the hill for a walk. Daddy laughs and says, ¡°takin¡¯ him for a walk! Bet he walkin¡¯ real good! Fukkin¡¯ probably skipped right up that hill, ain¡¯t that so?¡± I tell him I dragged him up there on a blanket, and Daddy laughs loud and hard at that, longer than it was funny, and he¡¯s wheezing now. ¡°Well, your Momma probably had some chores to do somewhere out there in them woods I guess. Maybe she¡¯s weeding the woods. Them woods sure do got a lot of weeds in them!¡± I stand there lookin¡¯ at Daddy, and he¡¯s rocking back and forth on his back on the floor, like a turtle trying to right itself.


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    ¡°I ever tell you what my chore was out there? Out there when I left? Naw, you ain¡¯t want to know my chore or whatever. That thing I was doing out there.¡± I says I want to know. He gets up on an elbow and looks hard but his eyes are focusing on the wall to my right. ¡°He wants to know what all I been doing. What ol¡¯ Ross has been doing out there.¡± He flops back on his back and interlocks his fingers over his chest.


    ¡°You¡¯s a different kid. You¡¯re better at talking at then your Momma is and that¡¯s a fact.¡± One of his eyes is watering but I ain¡¯t sure if he¡¯s crying or if it just wanted to water. He wipes the eye and looks over at me and smiles. ¡°How¡¯s that boy in there, how¡¯s Jacob, that boy. My boy. He any better? He talk or whatnot? Or lift his fingers up or blink his eyes or smile or anything? Drink from a cup?¡±


    I say ¡°no, Jacob ain¡¯t do nothing, just sits there. But he do get things down his throat when you put them in his mouth.¡± Daddy wipes his eye again and says ¡°good, that¡¯s good.¡± The corners of his mouth turn down and his lips quiver, but that face goes away fast like it wasn¡¯t never there. ¡°Hey! I ever tell you what I done while I was gone?!¡± Daddy already said that but I tell him no. I ain¡¯t know, but he can tell me if he wants.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll tell you since you keep asking. I done took that truck right on down the road. I stopped right next to a nice place and set in the truck for a while, listenin¡¯ to the radio and catchin¡¯ the sights until it got dark. Then I turned the truck around toward home, but I wanted to see how fast she could go! See what that ol¡¯ girl can do! I done got her up to 80 on that road and that weren¡¯t enough for me, so I done turned the lights off too!


    Turned em¡¯ right off and used all my senses to steer in the dark at speed, and then I got a thought. All I gotta do is turn the steering wheel real quick to the right, for there¡¯s a powerful number of trees along this here road, and I wondered what it would be like to hit one going that fast. I¡¯m all set to do for I¡¯m mighty curious, but you know what? You know what ol¡¯ Scamparoni?


    I get to thinkin¡¯ about you ¡®ol boy. How you like to go on rides in the truck and stick your head out the window and get ruffled in the breeze, and I ain¡¯t do it after all for there wouldn¡¯t be no one to give you rides if the truck was folded in half around a pole. Like a piece of bread around a hotdog. Momma ain¡¯t so good at driving, and who going to give you rides if your Daddy ain¡¯t around to do it?¡± I¡¯m shaking my head as I don¡¯t know. He¡¯s laughing like it¡¯s the funniest thing in the world, then Daddy whispers, ¡°You ever heard the word suicide?¡±

 Chapter 30: I Don’t Want to Hear no More Secrets from Daddy

    Still chuckling, and wiping away the tears in his eyes with his wrists. I ain¡¯t never heard that word before. He says ¡°do you know about killing, my boy? killin¡¯ people?¡± I seen killing on T.V. like when the bad cowboy gets shot by the good cowboy and killing is ok I guess, if the bad cowboy is the one gets killed, especially if he takes all the money from a bank or steals a person and ties them to the railroad tracks and I say ¡°like when the bad guy is dead from the good guy and falls off a roof into the dust?¡±


    Daddy says ¡°yep! Exactly right! Bad guy killed by the good guy! Very right! You¡¯s a smart Scamp and don¡¯t I know it!¡± Then he makes a small gesture over to me with his finger, looking around for eavesdroppers. I come over the him and he says ¡°closer my boy! Closer! I got a secret for you!¡± I come closer into Daddy¡¯s sour cloud and he whispers to me, ¡°did you know you can kill yourself?¡± I back up and shake my head. ¡°No Daddy.¡±


    He goes on ¡°that¡¯s right! only with this, the bad guy kills the good guy! The two are both inside you at the same time! Ain¡¯t that somethin¡¯?!¡± I nod my head and I don¡¯t want to hear no more secrets from Daddy, but he goes on. ¡°Daddy got a bad guy inside him what almost wrapped the good guy around a pole, only YOU¡¯S the good guy what killed the bad guy this time. Understand?¡±


    I don¡¯t understand. Not at all. I ain¡¯t never heard Daddy say these things before nor act this way. ¡°Believe that ol¡¯ Scamp-a-doodle-do. Believe that.¡± He trails off and lies flat and pretty soon he¡¯s snoring. I walk back to my room and lie on the mattress next to Jacob, and I stare at the ceiling for a long time before falling asleep while Daddy snores loud in the next room.


    I wake up, heart flipping in my chest for a dream is still in my head from last night. The scary man from my favorite book isn¡¯t there to chase off the wolf with his big curved stick this time. The wolf don¡¯t want to be friends with the sheep after all, and he tears open their white bellies and they were all screaming, but couldn¡¯t get away.


    The wolf turns into the scary man then and he has teeth like long black sharp sticks and they¡¯s white bloody wool hanging down its chin. My chest is slick with sweat and I don¡¯t know where I am until I look at Jacob and he¡¯s beside me. I remember lying next to him last night after Daddy come home. I check under Jacob¡¯s blanket and he¡¯s wet again and I look out our window and it¡¯s good and daylight out there, so I get up and head into the living room.


    There¡¯s Momma and Daddy, both sitting on the couch. Momma is reading a book and Daddy is fiddling with something mechanical I ain¡¯t know what. He looks up at me and smiles, ¡°There he is! Hey ol¡¯ feller, take a look at what I got here!¡± He thrusts the mechanical thing at me and Momma is reading her book but is smiling and I take the thing and Daddy says, ¡°you all know what that is Scampinheimer?¡± I look at it for a while and say ¡°no Daddy¡± he says, ¡°that there is an apple peeler! You stick the apple on the end of it and turn that there crank, and it unwinds the apple just as neat as you please! Ain¡¯t it something? I found it in one of them piles, and them piles produces wonders that don¡¯t never cease!¡±


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    He takes it back from me and keeps fiddling with it while Momma turns a page in her book. ¡°Yes indeed!¡± he goes on, ¡°can probably skin an apple before you can even say the WORD apple. I can''t wait to crank it all around and get off them apple skins which I do detest so much, seeing as how they can be sneakysharp sometimes and if you bite one wrong, the skin jams in your teeth and is plenty painful. That there is the one and only downfall of apples.¡± He says sadly. Momma is nodding along.


    I say, ¡°Momma, where you go yesterday? I done looked for you after I brought Jacob back down and you weren¡¯t nowhere to be seen. Daddy come back, but you ain¡¯t come back.¡± Momma puts down her book and takes a look at me and Daddy is still fiddling with that apple peeler. She says she was around and I probably just missed her, and there¡¯s a look between Momma and Daddy like she ain¡¯t saying everything, but they¡¯s both here now and I guess that¡¯ll have to do.


    ¡°Jacob done wet himself again.¡± Daddy says ¡°well, let¡¯s all get a good look then!¡± He heaves up off the couch and sets the apple peeler on the floor and looks at Momma. She¡¯s brought her book back up to her face and Daddy says again, ¡°let¡¯s get a look at him! Lookin¡¯ at him now!¡± Momma brings back down the book and gives him a look like a warning, but I ain¡¯t know what all they was on about, but Momma stands up and adjusts her shirt and we all head in to see Jacob.


    Daddy is talking in high spirits and I think Momma is still mad at him for not taking Jacob to the hospital so I expect he ain¡¯t want to get on Mommas bad side, for she can be powerful sharp when she wants to be.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look none too bad!¡± Daddy says with his hands on his hips, ¡°we can get this here all sorted out just fine!¡± He smiles at Momma who is shaking her head, ¡°Ross, he don¡¯t look fine. How much longer we going to carry on like this? He ain¡¯t moving, and he ain¡¯t take care of his bathroom needs, and he can''t do nothing besides swallow what gets put in his mouth. If we ain¡¯t taking him to get looked at, who¡¯s going to take care of him all the time? I done cared for both these boys when they was too little to do nothing except doing what Jacob is doing here. Am I to be the one to do it all over again? You want me to tend the garden, and sew all manner of things, and clean the house, and also take care of a baby that¡¯s full grown even though I already done it? you ain¡¯t touched these boys while they was in such a state years ago, and now I expect you ain¡¯t going to do nothing with this one either. Just like always.¡±


    Daddy gets a hurt look on his face and says, ¡°I¡¯m the provider here and the protector. I was always providin¡¯ for y¡¯all even when they was just little. If someone broke in with a sharp axe and decided he wanted to take off all our limbs, I expect you would want me to take care of that right enough? Ain¡¯t that right, Robyn?¡±

 Chapter 31: Proudly Spray Him Off with the Hose

    Momma says ¡°there ain¡¯t going to be no axe murderer stormin¡¯ in here any time soon, and all the protectin¡¯ I seen you do is protectin¡¯ a bottle of beer from sloshing out when you drive your truck around a corner too sharp.¡± Daddy is mighty appalled at that and says, ¡°since you all high and mighty and ain¡¯t think I do nothin¡¯ besides sitting around and drinking beer and whatnot, you just give it a try. You just give my job a try and see how hard it is and I¡¯ll be waiting when you come crawling back, asking for my help when everything gets all rough and falls apart.¡±


    Momma scoffs ¡°ok, how¡¯s about this. I do your job, and my job, and you take care of Jacob there, for it was your idea that we ain¡¯t get someone to look at him. What if all he needs is something stuck in his arm to bring him back? What you know about doctorin¡¯ except for doctoring your pride when you fail at everything?¡± Daddy is sputtering and his face is red and he yells ¡°fine! I¡¯ll fukkin¡¯ take care of him! I¡¯ll fukkin¡¯ take care of him all right!¡± He picks up the mattress, Jacob on it and all, and heaves it through the door, stomping off with it to the yard.


    Momma is shaking her head slowly and I follow Daddy out. He¡¯s roughly taking Jacob¡¯s clothes off and Jacob is on the mattress naked now. Daddy is grabbing the hose and yanking it hard and it¡¯s caught on something and he¡¯s swearing and pulling on it something fierce and I say ¡°I see it, Daddy!¡±


    I run to where the hose is caught and I unstick it for him, but he gives it a big angry yank anyway and stumbles a bit and he¡¯s at Jacob now, spraying him and the mattress fiercely like he¡¯s putting out a fire. The stream of water is in Jacob¡¯s face and in his mouth and I walk up to Daddy slow for I ain¡¯t want to rile him no more as he¡¯s liable to do anything. I stand next to him while he¡¯s hosing off Jacob and he¡®s breathing hard, then he throws the hose down and says ¡°there. I done washed him.¡±


    He turns his head toward the house and says loudly ¡°that was pretty easy! Fukkin¡¯ washed him already and it was easy!¡± Daddy stomps over to where he had flung Jacob''s soiled clothes and he¡¯s going to put them back on Jacob and I say ¡°that¡¯s ok Daddy, I can do this part, you done real good with cleaning him and the mattress and I can do this part.¡± Daddy stops and says nothing, just stares off into the distance, then pretty soon he wipes the sweat from his forehead and takes a big sniff like taking a deep breath and rubs his hands on his face and says ¡°I done told her. I done told her. We¡¯s up here and we¡¯re going to make it on our own without nothing helping us.¡±


    He looks at me. ¡°We¡¯re all alone up here, Gabe. All alone. I¡¯d rather we all die together making a try at it then to go back to the way it was. I can''t go back there. We can¡¯t go back there. I can¡¯t live in no town. It¡¯s not for us. You believe that?¡± I say I do and that we can make it. We¡¯ve already come this far. They¡¯s a good garden and we¡¯ll make it out here. I don¡¯t believe him but that¡¯s not what Daddy is asking for. When he has something to say, he says it to me, for I always I agree. He takes strength from my words. I ain¡¯t old enough for it, but he don¡¯t see that no more.


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    He hears the words and they¡¯s good enough for him since I¡¯m the only one that gives his words back to him.


    I say ¡°and I can help out with Jacob, only I ain¡¯t so strong like you and I ain¡¯t know what to feed him, but I can help.¡± Daddy nods and he¡¯s calmed down some and he says ¡°that¡¯s just right, Scamp. Just right. You''n me. We can take care of him and it ain¡¯t hard like Momma says. We can do it together.¡± I say that¡¯s good and I ain¡¯t know how to wash clothes too good and maybe we can get started with that so we don¡¯t put the pee back on Jacob after he already got washed off just now.


    Daddy is calmed all the way down and he says ¡°that¡¯s a right good idea. Let¡¯s me and you get these clothes washed. We can wash em¡¯ right up and hang ¡®em up. Good as new.¡± He claps his hand on my back and says ¡°let¡¯s get on in the house and see if we can rustle us up some soap from Momma. That is if she ain¡¯t yell us out of the house.¡± He guffaws and we both head in and Momma is standing in the kitchen, not looking at us, but I can tell she¡¯s not doing anything in there. I guess she was waiting for Daddy to come back in. Daddy says ¡°since everything else is your job now, where that soap at, woman?¡± He gives me a big wink, like we¡¯s in on a secret together. Like nothing out of the ordinary just happened.


    We get Jacob''s clothes cleaned enough to Daddy¡¯s standards. That¡¯s sloshing dish soap into a tub and getting them wet, me stomping them down to make thin gray suds in the cold water. Daddy takes them out and wrings them hard and hangs them to dry on a tree branch. He dusts his hands off and says ¡°that¡¯s done just right. I expect that¡¯s about all for the day.¡±


    I say that I think Jacob needs something in him as all he ate yesterday was some lettuce and a few beans I found in the garden. Daddy says ¡°I don¡¯t think people that don¡¯t move around need too much to eat, ¡¯sides, the more we put in him the more we¡¯re going to have to clean what comes out again.¡± I say that his ribs is showing, and he¡¯s got dark circles under his eyes. Daddy says proudly that that¡¯s probably because he don¡¯t poop enough. Then he gets a look on his face and snaps his fingers ¡°hey! Not poopin¡¯ enough means he¡¯s not eating enough to poop out! These here is some easy puzzles. I bet your Momma couldn¡¯t even do so well.¡±


    I nod along. Daddy gets to jogging over to the garden and picking out some things like I done yesterday. He brings them back and there¡¯s a little cherry tomato and some more beans what I missed yesterday and a ear of corn. ¡°But not too much¡± he says ¡°too much and we¡¯ll be cleaning up his poop all day and every day of the week probably.¡± I know this ain¡¯t true and I can tell Daddy just ain¡¯t want to work since that¡¯s how Daddy is. I say ¡°sure enough, Daddy¡± knowing that I¡¯ll have to go out and find him something more than a few scraps from the garden. Daddy gets to feeding Jacob but too rough, and I help him with making the pieces of food small so Jacob can swallow them without choking. They all go down ok, and Daddy is proud and says he done took care of Jacob real good today.

 Chapter 32: I Swore to Take Care of that Boy on the Couch

    He sighs contentedly and looks all around like everything is beautiful. Daddy takes off just then and rounds the house out of sight. I wait for him to come back, but he don¡¯t, so I sigh and look at the hanging clothes in the tree, and they¡¯s looking more dry than before. I jump to get them, but they¡¯s out of reach so I take to throwing a stick at them until they¡¯s all on the ground and covered in dead grass and dirt. I shake them off and they¡¯s still a bit damp, but they¡¯ll be good enough. Jacob¡¯s been lying on the wet mattress for too long and needs to be dressed now. I can''t gaze at his naked body no more and it makes me sad to see him in such a way.


    It goes on in such fashion for days, Daddy helpin¡¯ as much as he was willing and me taking the place of taking care of Jacob more and more, until I ain¡¯t seen Daddy around too much. I guess he was out in the woods doing something woodsy. Even though Momma says that Jacob is Daddy¡¯s job now and she has to do everything else, Momma ain¡¯t mean it and only wanted Daddy to get up and do something.


    She was terrible upset that we ain¡¯t going to bring Jacob nowhere to get him taken care of, but she ain¡¯t able to take him on her own as Daddy always takes the keys to the truck with him everywhere now, jingling in his pants pocket. We¡¯re doing the best we can with Jacob without no help from Daddy. We¡¯s feeding him every day and washing him every time he ¡®voids himself¡¯ as Momma has taking to saying, but I guess it¡¯s not enough as he¡¯s skinnier than ever, and his legs is getting thin as my arm. Momma thinks it¡¯s because he ain¡¯t move around enough. I ain¡¯t understand and I think we just feed him enough and he¡¯ll go on ok for a good long while, but Momma says no, that¡¯s not enough, he needs to climb trees and run around in the grass and maybe run into a tree or two and get all skinned up from time to time, like a boy oughta.


    I ask what we¡¯s going to do to get him to do that since he ain''t move on his own. She sits and thinks, and pretty soon she looks up and says ¡°wait here. I''m fixin¡¯ on findin¡¯ your hidin¡¯ Daddy and get him some work to do on this boy since he ain¡¯t want to save him by bringing him to others nor lift a finger to help with his dailies.¡± Momma goes out and I sit and wait, like she asked.


    I¡¯m thinking in deep thought while she¡¯s gone since maybe I can help. I ain¡¯t know nothing about the body other than I thought it was solid all the way through like a potato, until I seen a drawing in a book with a man opened up with arrows pointing to the things inside him. I ain¡¯t like to think about that picture too much since I don¡¯t like to think about those things being in me too. I¡¯m thinking hard but nothing is coming and then there¡¯s Momma at the door and she¡¯s got Daddy with her and she points at Jacob, lyin¡¯ on the couch with his mouth open and his eyes fixed on the ceiling.


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    ¡°That there is your boy. He is. You ain¡¯t see it no more, but Gabe sees it, and I see it, and he ain¡¯t no living doll. I done give birth to him and you wasn¡¯t there, but when I brought him home and you seen him for the first time, you said you was always going to take care of him no matter what, for he was the first one you ever had, and wasn¡¯t that something special? You remember that?¡± Daddy looks hard a Jacob and he says ¡°I know he¡¯s my boy. I ain¡¯t stupid. I see him right there and he ain¡¯t movin¡¯. What you want me to do about it? I been takin¡¯ care of him like you said and this is what I get for it? What about you, Scamp?¡±


    Daddy regards me ¡°this here your brother? He still talk to you late in the night so we have to tell you all to shut up since we¡¯s trying to get our sleep? Do he?¡± I shake my head no. ¡°Do he run in the woods and you all hit each other with sticks and come to us, tellin¡¯ who done what, and who hit who first, and wantin¡¯ me to make a judgement?¡± ¡°No Daddy¡± I say ¡°we ain¡¯t run in the woods.¡±


    Daddy goes on ¡°that boy over there I swore I would always take care of, but the boy I swore to take care of and that boy on the couch ain¡¯t the same person no more. The water done washed away what my boy was and this is all that¡¯s left. He ain¡¯t in there no more and you ain¡¯t understand. you all both don¡¯t understand. That boy was washed away and he¡¯s lost in the waters, and now maybe the boy I promised to always take care of is in the body of a whale or a shrimp, or any number of things in the wild, but he ain¡¯t here now and that¡¯s a fact.¡±


    Momma says his name in a surprised way and is taken aback at Daddy and she ain¡¯t know his mind was made up this way, and I ain¡¯t know it either. I say ¡°he¡¯s still there, Daddy, I can see it in his eyes. He¡¯s deep in there but I done been with him enough, and read to him enough, and dragged him up that hill enough to see his eyes, and he¡¯s in there. You ain¡¯t wrong about him being in the water still, only It''s not a deep water.


    The water is in him still and it¡¯s covered him, but he¡¯s looking up at us and sees us floating over him and he ain¡¯t understand what we¡¯s saying, but I know he can see enough and hear enough to still be in there. He is.¡± Daddy shakes his head, ¡°No. That ain¡¯t so. You all is wrong about that boy.¡± He¡¯s shaking his head and rubbing his mouth and I say again ¡°you ain''t see him like I do. Momma ain''t even seen him like I do. You is wrong Daddy.¡±

 Chapter 33: Playing the Game

    Now it¡¯s Daddy''s turn to be surprised, for I never disagreed with Daddy before and that¡¯s why I¡¯m his number one Scamp. He looks at me hard and says ¡°that the truth, Gabe? You seen something in there what we all can''t?¡± I say that this is so. Daddy looks at me hard again and I keep his gaze and don¡¯t look away none. A change comes to his face and he says ¡°you was always my favorite. Now I can say it since the other one is done and gone, but I¡¯m finding it hard to believe you.¡±


    He ain¡¯t called me Scamp, and I noticed, but I go on. ¡°This is as far as I can get with him and we all need to help him now. All I do is be with him, and change him, and Momma helps with the feeding, but Jacob and me is always been close friends even when we fight. He took things from me, and I took things from him, and we was close. Is close. I can see him in there.¡±


    Daddy nods and looks at Jacob. ¡°Ok Scamp. If you say so. but what all you need from me? He ain¡¯t need nothin¡¯¡¯ no more ¡®sides food, and water, and hosing off from time to time, so what you all want from me? You say he¡¯s in there and I only believe it because you say it and nobody else, but what else do you want except for me to tell you I believe you?¡±


    Momma says ¡°that boy is wasting away and needs more than food and water and a hosin¡¯. That boy is turning into a skeleton. He needs more than what me and Gabe can give him. He needs to be moved around so when he does come back, he won¡¯t be too weak to walk. You been tinkering out there, or at least that¡¯s what you say when you leave for hours on end without no explanation. Except for bringing things back into this house from those piles. Unless you is hiding from us and this here problem on purpose?¡±


    Daddy is offended and says that¡¯s not so. He¡¯s out there looking after his family. Momma says, ¡°that¡¯s good. Because he¡¯s part of the family too whether you like it or not. Gabe done told you he was still in there and you agreed. Since you ain¡¯t feed him, or read to him, or wash him, get on back out there and make something for him. Get something from those piles what can get him moving and some exercise, unless you want to strap him to your back and flop him around the woods like a wooden puppet. The boy and I ain¡¯t strong enough to be taking him around like that. Gabe can hardly even drag him on a blanket.¡±


    Daddy is shaking his head but stops and looks at me and sighs. ¡°This is for you Scamp. You and me is more alike than you know. I¡¯ll do this for you. Just you.¡± Daddy looks at Momma and says nothing and heads out of the house and Momma and me is left with Jacob again. ¡°You think he¡¯s going to do something to help Jacob, Momma?¡± Momma says she doesn¡¯t rightly know, but if he¡¯s going to do something, it¡¯s either now or he ain¡¯t never going to do anything. We¡¯ll have to fare on our own.


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    She goes to the kitchen and starts scrubbing something hard, even though I ain¡¯t seen nothin¡¯ that needs to be scrubbed. I tend to Jacob on the couch and there ain¡¯t much more to be done now since we done fed and changed him already, so I just talk to him some. I can see Momma in the kitchen is listening to me without wanting me to know. Her hands ain¡¯t exactly idle, but she ain''t doing much with them and her shoulders is hunched.


    ¡°What you doin¡¯ there ¡¯ol Jacob? Takin'' a rest? Yeah, you need to rest, gotta keep up your strength! Pretty soon we¡¯s going to be out there in the wilds. I was thinking about a way we can make some secret traps what can probably bring us a bear if we play it just right. Use the right bait for it and all, and I had a thought that maybe once we catch the bear, we can let it not eat for a while. Just a little while! not like, too long! Just enough so that we can befriend it by feeding it something it might like. We do that often enough and I bet we can get us a tame bear. Ride it all around and have it climb trees with us on its back and all that. Can ride it while it hunts in the night and we¡¯ll tell it where to go and it¡¯ll bring us to all kinds of places what are secret. Don¡¯t that sound good?¡± I take Jacob¡¯s jaw in my hands and move it up and down and say in a Jacob voice ¡°that sure do seem good!¡± Momma gives a little snort from the kitchen and I look up but her back is still turned and I know this will work. I know Daddy is out there right now, getting'' to work on something for Jacob.


    This goes on for some time, just talkin¡¯ to Jacob while Momma is in the kitchen and now it¡¯s time to change Jacob and feed him, so we do that. We¡¯s getting better at it so it don¡¯t seem too out of the ordinary now. Jacob does fine with taking his food and we done learned that the sloppier the food was, the better it went down for him, and that¡¯s better than when I was shoving beans and leaves of lettuce in his mouth. Now I ain¡¯t so afraid of him choking since I wouldn¡¯t know what to do if that were to happen. We is all on the couch now and is cozy under a blanket and Momma is reading a book and I have a book open with pictures so Jacob can look at them too if he wants, but I ain¡¯t in the mood for making up a story for him and I only want to look at the pictures just now.


    There¡¯s a thumping on the porch and I know Daddy is stomping his boots to get something off them since Momma do get on us for tracking the outside to the inside. That makes her have to do everything twice a day instead of once and she don¡¯t like that too well. I take that as a good sign, that Daddy doesn¡¯t want to upset Momma with his trackin¡¯s. He comes inside and has a big scratch on his arm.


    His clothes are rumpled a little more than usual and there¡¯s a smell on him like wood dust and the outside, and his hands is covered in grease. He looks at us all on the couch and says ¡°I done it, and I done tested it, and I done like what you all wanted. I tinkered with a few things and got a mighty scratch for my troubles and I hope I ain¡¯t get too infected.¡± For now, Daddy was looking for someone to say ¡®poor Daddy¡¯ so he could get some attention. Momma knows the game just as I do, only she¡¯s been playing it for so long that she gets tired of it, but this time she knows that playing the part is going to go further than not.

 Chapter 34: Give one of Them Ropes a Good Yank!

    She goes to him. ¡°Oh no! Look what was done to your arm!¡± She''s fawning over him and he¡¯s looking away and says ¡°I hope you¡¯re happy.¡± She says, ¡°oh Ross, you poor man, look at the state of you! Clothes all musty and your poor hands! your poor hands is all covered in something greasy and it probably won¡¯t never come out!¡± Daddy nods sadly ¡°probably you¡¯re right. I gotta go through life like this forever now. Greasy hands and all. Won¡¯t nobody want to never shake my hand again or nothin¡¯.¡±


    Only now he¡¯s smilin¡¯ and they both laugh together and now I know it¡¯s time to play my part too. ¡°What you all been up to, Daddy?¡± I say excitedly ¡°you done wrestled a bear or something?¡± He laughs and says ¡°pretty much! I done wrestled with those piles enough so I¡¯m probably strong enough to wrestle a bear now if I wanted. But no, I done like you all wanted. I done made something what can help that boy¡± Momma says, with her arms around him ¡°your boy¡± and Daddy nods.


    ¡°My boy. Something what can help my boy¡± Daddy goes and sits by Jacob and looks uncomfortable, but he says something for the first time directly to him since he gone in the water. ¡°I done something for you Jacob. We¡¯re going to fix you up right so when you come out of the water like what Gabe says, you¡¯ll be ready to get right back to where you left off.¡±


    The next day we is all up and Jacob is tended to. Daddy even helped with the feeding this time, his big hands was clumsy and the food dribbled down Jacob''s chin some, but Momma and I ain¡¯t said nothing about it and I think it made Daddy happy to help out. We ain¡¯t said nothing to Daddy about what he made yesterday since that was up to him when he would tell us about it.


    We ain¡¯t want to throw off his mood none. We did morning things and ate some, and talked some, and Daddy and Momma discussed the weather and how it was going to go with the garden and what all else they wanted to plant out there. Daddy says to me ¡°what you think Scamp? What all else should we plant out there? You got something you want to tend to special? Some kind of thing you been hankerin¡¯ for¡± I think and I ain¡¯t know too much about tending to gardens, but I say ¡°carrots¡± and they both laugh for this recalls a memory of the time I done stole carrots from our neighbors in the town and hid in our bathroom while I ate them.


    Daddy says ¡°I just bet you do! Although, are you sure you¡¯ll still like them if they ain¡¯t stolen?¡± I get red in the face, but they¡¯s both still laughing so I guess I¡¯m not in trouble over that no more and I smile too. Daddy says, ¡°ok! We¡¯ll get you some carrots!¡± We is done talking now and Daddy is looking out the window and not saying anything. He¡¯s quiet for a long while, like he gets when he¡¯s about to do something, and I can usually judge what he¡¯s going to do, and I think he¡¯s thinking about Jacob and what all he made for him yesterday and he¡¯s thinking about how to bring it up with us.


    Momma and I both wait quietly and he finally says ¡°welp, you all want to see what I done made out there?¡± We both is nodding and Daddy slaps his hands on the table and stands up. ¡°Come on then if you¡¯re comin¡¯ on!¡± He heads out the door and we follow. At first, I ain¡¯t seen nothing different. Daddy is walking into the trees now and I finally see something hanging from a big branch what looked strange, like a mess of pipes and ropes and the like, so I ain¡¯t rightly know what all it was. Daddy stands there at the spot next to the contraption and proudly says ¡°here she is! I done took some special care with this here. It took me long enough since I had to track down a part which ended up being deep in a pile. That there is where I got this mighty wound¡±


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    He holds up his arm and the red is already faded and it¡¯s just a white line. Momma says ¡°what is it? How does it work?¡± Daddy says excitedly, for he¡¯s very proud of his works ¡°It goes like this here! Watch!¡± Daddy goes up to the contraption and pulls out some ropes and I see at the ends of them are leather loops and there''s a strap tied together what makes a seat and a pipe going up the seat so if you were to sit on it, the pipe would be in the middle of your back. Daddy sits himself in the seat and puts some straps across his chest. The branch above gives a little warning creak.


    He takes the leather loops and puts them on his wrists and ankles and gestures, ¡°get on over here Scamp, tighten these here loops right up so I don¡¯t go slipping out or nothin¡¯.¡± I tighten them for him after a few tries, and now Daddy looks like a prisoner in a tree. I ain¡¯t see how this can help Jacob none unless Daddy¡¯s idea is to hang him from a tree for hosing off easier. Momma ain¡¯t too sure about this either and says ¡°that¡¯s real good. What all does it do though?¡± Daddy gestures with his head to the left and there¡¯s ropes hanging next to the tree, and I look up and they¡¯s the ropes that are attached to Daddy¡¯s ankles and wrists.


    ¡°You just get on over there and give one of them ropes a yank. Not too hard though!¡± Momma shrugs and walks to the ropes hanging down and says ¡°which one am I pullin¡¯ on?¡± Daddy says ¡°it don¡¯t matter, just pick one and go with it¡± so Momma gets one in her grasp and pulls on it slow for she has an idea about what Daddy made, and slowly, Daddy¡¯s right arm is lifted. ¡°That¡¯s just right! Like that! Now you, Scamp! Get on over there and you give it a try!¡±


    I go over next to Momma and she¡¯s still pulling up and down on the rope and his arm is lifting up and down. I grab a rope and I pull it maybe too hard, for Daddy¡¯s right leg gives a kick up and he goes, ¡°whoa there! Not too hard!¡± I pull on it more slow now and his right leg goes up and down, slow too. ¡°Just so!¡± Daddy says ¡°now get to pulling on em¡¯ all!¡± So we do, and now all of Daddy¡¯s limbs are lifting up and down like he¡¯s doing a dance in the air, and I can''t take this sight no more and I drop the ropes and I¡¯m laughing so that my stomach hurts and Momma is hugging the tree and laughing too.


    Daddy is hanging there and guffawing ¡°hey y¡¯all now! Come see the live puppet in the tree! I can dance! I can sing! I can fly!¡± He starts swinging back and forth and my eyes is teared up and Momma grabs all the ropes now and is pulling on them all wildly and Daddy is swinging back and forth, all his limbs flying every which way. ¡°yeahhhhh there! Watchout!¡± Momma is getting better at the ropes and his legs is straight out behind him, both hands out and grabbing at me and I¡¯m ducking and laughing and Momma is smiling like the sun.


    She puts the ropes down and Daddy is still smiling. He gets out of the harness and walks a little unsteady to us and says ¡°well, what y¡¯all think? This way we can get that boy exercised without the need to flop him around on our backs¡± Daddy is looking proud but also a little afraid, like we won¡¯t like it, but Momma and I both see how much time he put into it and Daddy was taking care of Jacob in his own way. ¡°It¡¯s perfect¡± Momma says and gives him a kiss on the mouth and I look away. Daddy says to me ¡°what you think Scamp? Think she¡¯ll work enough for ya?¡± I say she¡¯ll work just fine, and if it don¡¯t, then I don¡¯t know what will. Daddy grabs us both around the waist and lifts us up a little and says ¡°we¡¯s doin¡¯ ok out here. We¡¯re doin¡¯ real good.¡±

 Chapter 35: Gone Rotten

    And we is doin¡¯ good. Real good. Daddy is helping to take care of Jacob and we have us a routine. Daddy don¡¯t help too much with the cleaning of Jacob on account of how rough he is. When he uses the hose, I ain¡¯t sure if he can¡¯t actually do the thing right, or he knows that if he done a poor enough job, someone else will take over for him. Daddy mostly helps with the feeding and carrying Jacob out to his workin¡¯ out contraption and the heavy lifting type things what all is too hard for me and Momma.


    Jacob seems to be taking well to the machine in the tree, and Momma and me is the ones that use the ropes on him. At first it was just as funny as when Daddy was in it, but after a while, I started feeling like we was playing with a puppet and it gave me a shiver, especially when Daddy would sometimes pretend that Jacob was talking while we was lifting his arms up or legs up.


    After he done that, we all got quiet and like we done something like we oughtn''t. It felt like spitting on the floor of a museum, we ain¡¯t make fun of Jacob no more after that. We just lift his arms and legs up enough so that we was somewhat satisfied that he was getting some kind of exercise. The garden was still giving us all the food we wanted, at least vegetable wise, so I guess we is mostly vegetarians unless I can spot and wing something out of a tree with the gun, but that ain¡¯t happen as much as I thought it would.


    We got our routine down just fine with feeding him from the garden and we done figured the easiest things to feed him such as tomatoes and corn and some squash, only the trick is, you have to mush them all up first into a paste and that gets down his throat easy enough without the need for us to move his jaw. As we went along, we discovered things we ain¡¯t been doing for him such as brushing his teeth. The second we got close enough to catch a big whiff of his rotten smelling teeth, we done added that into the things we done for him too. We was his doctors and his dentists and personal chefs. He ain¡¯t need for nothin¡¯ and things went by like they were supposed to.


    I think that¡¯s why we¡¯s up here. To live as long as we can unless something comes along and changes it. Live and wander around and eat a few things from the garden until it was time to die, and I suppose that¡¯s what everyone else does too, only in different ways.


    Time came where Daddy started to realize he was caught in exactly what he was trying to get away from in the city. Beholden¡¯ to someone else without him having a say. It done took a slow tole on him. He ain¡¯t doing nothin¡¯ with Jacob no more. Day comes where daddy ain¡¯t even around to carry Jacob to the tree to partake in his exercises. Momma says she knew this day would come and she hoped it would take longer for Daddy too figure out he had himself a job out here after all.


    Running away ain¡¯t stop nothin¡¯ from needing to be done and even washing yourself becomes a job if you think hard enough about it. We ain¡¯t sure where all Daddy goes. He ain¡¯t going out drivin¡¯ for the truck has been sitting on the driveway in the same spot for some time, long enough for weeds to grow around the tires. We both figure he¡¯s just out there in the woods somewhere, kicking rocks and sitting on a log. We is starting to resent it, especially since Jacob ain¡¯t getting the movement he needs.


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    Me and Momma still ain¡¯t strong enough to get him into the saddle of the machine. Sometimes I catch Momma grumbling about having to take care of Jacob, especially when things ain¡¯t go as easy as they could, like if the mushy food falls out of Jacob''s mouth onto his shirt and now that shirt needs to be washed. Sometimes, I guess the vegetables don¡¯t sit well with Jacob and his pants fill up with a big mess and Momma swears under her breath that she ain¡¯t sign up to take care of no retard. I say ¡°what you say momma?¡±


    Like I ain¡¯t heard what she said and she smiles at me guilty and says, ¡°nothin¡¯. I ain¡¯t mean nothin¡¯ by it. Sometimes adults like to complain out loud so the aggravation has somewhere to go.¡± I say ok, and we keep on taking care of him. Some days is easier than others, but Jacob do take up a lot of our time. We do all of Jacob''s functions for him and clean him up. I¡¯m starting to forget what all Jacob sounded like when he talked. I ain¡¯t sure how long he¡¯s going to be like this and I will admit, although I am ashamed to do so, that it would be easier if he ain¡¯t around no more.


    Maybe Daddy would come back then and throw me in the air like he used to and take me out for pizza pockets at the gas station and callin¡® me his scamp. The Days turned cold and Momma lit the first fire, the barrel of our wood stove giving off a burning dust smell, the metal creaking and ticking like a grumpy old man.


    Our garden started to wilt.


    Momma runned out there with a big basket and a wheelbarrow to hoe a little and gather up what she could and everything was on the verge of brown. she looked at it curious and looked at the sky and back down at the garden. She come back inside and sighs and flops on the couch, says ¡°well, I do believe we are in for it.¡±


    ¡°What you mean momma? We ain¡¯t gonna have anything to eat?¡± She says that time done got away from us, what with taking care of Jacob. She supposes that we may have had a cold enough night that there was frost and she ain¡¯t know how it snuck up on her so fast. she says ¡°this is the first time I ever had me a garden. I know a little about it, like you put the seeds in the ground and water it some, and take out the plants what you didn¡¯t invite into the garden. Everything is supposed to grow ok. You can take them crops and boil ¡®em up, and put ¡®em in jars, and save ¡®em for when there ain¡¯t no proper ground to grow things in. I ain¡¯t know they could all go at once like that.¡±


    She wipes a smudge off her forehead with her hand and looks at it curiously. ¡°If only your daddy was doing something what could free me up enough to take care of that garden proper, maybe we ain¡¯t get in this mess in the first place.¡± I sit next to momma, ¡°but we done got them veggies in the jars, right? I seen you jarring up them fruits of the field and is they enough to last?¡±


    Momma gets up to check on them.


    She opens the cupboard and says ¡°we got us about a baker¡¯s dozen left. What all with you two boys growing and eating everything in sight and Daddy helping himself to everything around without lifting a finger to help, these here are going to last us all about four days. if we ain¡¯t partial to only eating tomatoes, for that¡¯s all I done got around to jarring up.¡± She looks closely at one of the jars, then pulls all of them down onto the counter and shakes her head.


    ¡°Make that four jars, these ones here got some kind of blackness in them. Maybe I ain¡¯t boiled them enough and something got all inside.¡± She holds one now and is quiet, then she walks quickly outside. I follow to the door and she heaves up and throws the jar hard across the yard. It bounces on the grass and hits a rock and breaks open, spraying red chunks and shining glass every which way. Momma¡¯s fists is clenched and she is shouting for Daddy now to get back right this minute. She is using his full name and I ain¡¯t never seen Daddy not respond when she does that.

 Chapter 36: Where’d My Daddy Go

    Momma is stomping over to the garden now and is still shouting for Daddy, all the while on her hands and knees, tearing up the plants and looking for any scraps of vegetables left she can salvage. Momma is busy and ain¡¯t seen Daddy slink out of the woods. I see him but Momma ain¡¯t. Daddy sees me seeing him and smiles and holds a finger to his lips. I ain¡¯t sure what all my role is in this now.


    I say to Momma, ¡°there he is.¡±


    I point and Momma looks up sharp and spots him too. She shouts ¡°get your ass over here, Ross! Get over here and see what kind of mess we all is in now! you let these crops die in the cold and I ain¡¯t know how crops is supposed to work! Now it¡¯s all brown and these vegetables is withering! I ain¡¯t sure what all season it is, and tell the truth, I ain¡¯t even sure what month or day it is, but I think we¡¯re in the fall now! I don¡¯t know!¡± She throws up her hands and holds them there, waiting for Daddy to respond.


    He shuffles his feet and admits he ain¡¯t wholly sure what all time of year it is either and beyond that, he also ain¡¯t know that much about farmin¡¯ either, tell the truth. ¡°What!? you brought us up here and you ain¡¯t even know how to do these things?! You said you knew what all you was doing!¡± Daddy interrupts, ¡°I ain¡¯t said that! I ain¡¯t! I done got us this house and I know how to fiddle with things! I thought you was the one that was good at jarring things and bringing things out of the ground and... and... wearing an apron and having babies and washing dishes and the like. Sweeping! Dustin¡¯! Hittin¡¯ rugs with something to get the dust off em¡¯! Woman stuff!¡±


    Momma is looking like she¡¯s about to explode. "You think I already know how to do fronteering things because I''m a woman?! that''s the stupidest thing I ever did hear come out of your mouth, Ross! What, you think I done gone through fronteering school when I was a little girl? All little girls know automatically how to jar things and take care of a house in the middle of the woods? Coming out of my momma, all ready to swing a broom and steam some vegetables? I know you is lazy and a little dumb, but I ain''t know you was all the way an idiot!"


    Daddy gets a storm cloud frown on his face.


    "This is your fault woman. You done gave birth to that boy what can''t even get in the water without becoming a vegetable himself. At least when the winter comes we''ll still have a vegetable, only instead of us being able to eat it, it''s us what has to keep feeding it! He can''t even provide nothing for us in that state! These boys was going to be men up here in a pretty quick amount of time, now one lays around, shitting himself while the other one has to clean up after him! Ain''t nobody doing anything right on account of that boy! He taking up all the resources and how we going to live out here if all we have going for us it taking care of a human log?"


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    Momma says "we already been over this. We done agreed that Jacob is our''n and need to be taken care of as best we know how. Don''t go on forgetting about how you ain''t want to take him to the hospital to get well. We is all staying up here and getting along on our own or not at all? ain''t that what you said? That mean we all have to die if it ain''t work out like you want?"


    Daddy ain''t say nothing, just stands there.


    "I''ve had it." Momma says. "Give me them keys Ross. Give ¡®em here. This stops now. We ain''t got enough food even for the next few days, we ain''t get that Jacob better, and I ain''t even see him blink even his eyes. Someone else needs to take care of him for a while. Someone who knows what they¡¯re doin¡¯. I ain''t got it in me no more and Gabe is too small and forgets too much to be able to take care of him on his own, so who does that leave? hmm!? I know you ain''t take care of him. All you do is wander around in them woods, I ain''t even quite sure what all your doing out there. This is just like before when you ain''t like to go to work or do anything to help this family. I knew you weren''t going to help with this. I should have known. You is a liar and the laziest person I ever done met and we''re fixing this right here and now."


    Momma holds out her hand and gestures for Daddy to give her the keys to the truck. He looks at me and says "what all is your take, Gabe? You think I''m lazy and a liar? Ain''t want to take care of this family? Just want to run around in the woods and eat up everything without helping none?" He said it dangerous, like he knew what my answer would be. I was the one he went to with his woes and always agreed with him. Daddy wanted us to go against Momma so he could keep doing what all he''d been doing out there, but I ain''t want to play that game no more. I ain''t want to starve in the woods in the middle of winter, watching Jacob get skinnier and skinnier as the food runs out. "Yes." I say. Daddy is surprised at first, then he colors and says "so you all is against me. At least you come out and said it so I know where I stand. But here''s how it''s going to go. You ain''t the ones telling me what to do, and you ain''t the ones in charge. I am. I say what goes, and what goes is that we''re all staying up here. We''re not going back. I done told you both and maybe you ain''t really believe me. Ain''t take me serious.¡±

 Chapter 37: Takin’ Sides

    I''ll say it again. I ain''t going back, and you all ain''t going back. We''re a family and we''re staying right on up here no matter what comes. I ain''t care how you feel about it, and like you said, Robyn, I''m dead serious and ain''t backing down from this, even if we all die of starvation. Momma drops her hand asking for the keys and just stands there. Daddy looks at her and reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys "here''s your keys" he says, then quick turns toward the woods and throws them as hard as he can.


    They tinkle somewhere out there. Momma crosses her arms. "I''m walking out of here. Right now" although her voice ain''t have the conviction it once did. Daddy laughs a bright cheery laugh which surprises me since it don''t sound like he''s mad. "You ain''t going nowhere.¡± he says in a singsong. ¡°You leave this property and I''ll drag you back by your hair and tie you up for a week. How does pissing and shitting yourself without no food sound? Every time you leave, I''ll make it longer and longer until maybe you get to where you even wish you was Jacob, since at least he won''t have no ropes on him and gets cleaned up after he pisses and shits. Ain''t nobody going to clean you up."


    Momma says "you''re joking. you ain''t going to do that" and she licks her lips, unsure. "Sure as shit I will. Now get back in that house, woman." Momma is still trying to process "and what if I ain''t want to do what you say" she says and daddy gives her a smile. "Well then, I guess you''ll have to try ¡®er out and see." Momma looks like she''s about to give it a try after all and daddy is just standing there, waiting to see what she does. After a long while, momma silently walks into the house. Daddy turns to me "welp, ol¡¯ Gabester! Done took sides against your Daddy! Not smart! Not a good bet at all"


    Daddy¡¯s getting closer now and I realize I ain''t seen much of Daddy at all lately. I ain''t seen him this close in a long while. He sidles up and is close so I can smell him now and I realize he ain''t been washing up none, and he smells like hot copper and sweat. His clothes is dirty and stained with pitch and his nails is long and his hair is greasy and matted, like he''s been sleeping on the ground. I take a step back and he gives a great big grin.


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    "Ol'' Gabe! The Scamp! You been up to any scampering lately? Any fukkin'' scampering or you just been washing your brother''s ass this whole time? You like doing that? You think he would do the same for you?" I hear myself talking, but it ain¡¯t quite feel like it¡¯s me the one who¡¯s doing it. I¡®m starting to feel like I¡¯m floating away from myself.


    "Jacob would do the same for me. We always done take care of each other..." Daddy laughs then, only not happy laugh this time, it''s a laugh like I never heard him laugh before. I ain''t recognize my Daddy in this moment and I start to get scared like he ain''t really my Daddy and this was someone else altogether. Daddy stops laughing abrupt. "You ain''t know everything, Scamp. Jacob ain''t really even like you. He was only being nice because we asked him to."


    I''m scared, but I know that ain''t true.


    "No he ain''t! We done played together and he done showed me things! How to go down the big slide without falling off! He done saved me from them neighbor kids!" "Maybe so," says Daddy, "but you just think, lil Scampini. Just think about this. We done told him that if he ain''t play nice with you, he was going to get a whippin''. You is too young to remember, but he ain''t take too kindly to another mouth in the house to suck off you momma''s teats.


    We used to catch him trying to put a pillow over your face in the night when you was too small to fight it off. Few times there you turned blue enough that we though you was a goner. You always came out of it though! Haw Haw! That''s why I call you the scamp. Cause you always scampin'' your way out of dying at your brother''s hands." "No!" I shout "you is a liar, just like Momma says! I ain''t believe you!" Daddy grabs my shoulders and digs his fingers in enough to leave a mark later.


    "I ain''t give a shit what you think or what you believe. That boy in there ain''t give two shits about you. If you was in his place, he wouldn''t take care of you nohow. He wouldn''t give two farts in a sack for how you was doing, and he sure wouldn''t read to you or talk to you. I expect he would be happy not having you around to take up all our attention."


    Daddy is close and I smell his breath like rotten meat and there''s something damp and dark and furry between his teeth.


    I say quietly, "you ain''t my Daddy. where''d you put my Daddy."


    He leans in even closer and says in a whisper. "I been here the whole time."


    Then Daddy pushes me hard and says "now get in that fukkin'' house."

 Chapter 38: Stewin in His Juices

    Momma is on the couch and her legs is up on it, and she''s staring into space, waiting for Daddy, I guess. I sit down next to her and I say "I think they''s something wrong with Daddy. He ain''t look the same and that''s not..." Momma hushes me as Daddy strolls inside, smiling at the both of us.


    ¡°There you both are! Sitting right on that couch! My but that does look comfortable!¡± He eases on over to us and says causally, ¡°well! where that other one at? Where that other murdering bastard at?¡± He gives me a wink, a just between us joke. We ain¡¯t respond and Daddy sighs, then quick springs at Momma and gives her a slap across the face that sounds like a rifle shot. She holds a hand up and touches her face, and I can see it¡¯s red already. She points in the direction of our room. ¡°Good! Real good! So you did know where he was! Ain¡¯t that excellent!¡± Daddy tromps across the room and out of sight. I hear him in there mumbling, and I¡¯m terrible afraid he¡¯s going to do something to Jacob, but he comes out and is smiling. ¡°Great! What a great time we¡¯re all having! Scamp!¡± He points at me, ¡°you all having a grand time out here?¡±


    I say quietly ¡°yes Daddy¡± and Daddy says ¡°yes Daddy! Yes indeed, Daddy! Having a grand ol¡¯ time out here he is! Finally getting agreeable and understanding where things lay. The lay of the land!¡± I nod my head, yes yes yes, and he chortles ¡°don¡¯t agree too hard or your head will fall right off! Right on off your neck! We can¡¯t have that nohow, although I don¡¯t think Jacob would care too much if it did, ain¡¯t that right?¡± I say yes again and Daddy is laughing hard and pumping his arms in the air. ¡°Whataboutyou!¡± He stops suddenly and points at Momma, who¡¯s still holding her hand on her slapped cheek. She nods once, sullenly. ¡°No no no. I can tell you ain¡¯t having fun.¡± He sighs then tilts his head and starts muttering, putting his hand on his chin.


    ¡°Now what can make that woman so that she¡¯s having more fun. What. Makes. The fun.¡± Daddy goes all the way quiet and stays that way for so long, that I can¡¯t even tell if he¡¯s breathing any more. I shuffle my foot a little bit, and that makes Daddy explode like I done lit off a bottle rocket ¡°I know!¡± He shouts ¡°you¡¯re coming with me, little lady! Time to have us some fun fun fun in the sun sun sun!¡± He grabs Momma¡¯s arm and yanks her off the couch. She gives a yelp and Daddy is laughing now. She falls and now he¡¯s dragging her across the floor and out the front door and into the garden.


    I jump off the couch and look out the window, and my knuckle is in my mouth, and I¡¯m biting it to keep from screaming. Daddy is beating on Momma with a hoe and dancing around her, tearing her clothes off and laughing like it¡¯s the funniest thing in the world, and I can¡¯t watch no more. I slide to the floor and I hear Momma screaming outside. I cover my ears and get up to run. I catch a glimpse outside and Daddy is doing something to her with the end of the garden hoe between her legs. I close my eyes now and I stumble into me and Jacob¡¯s room, and climb into bed, and hide under the covers, and wish it all away.


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    The sun is shining through the window, and I¡¯m happy to get on outside and play with Jacob in the backyard. I bet he comes up with something what all is fun what I never done before. I can come up with some things in my head, but Jacob is better at the plannin¡¯ stage what with doing the things we talk about. He sure is good at that. I turn over to see if he¡¯s up yet, but I¡¯m confused since the room was all wrong. I guess I had a pretty good rest for I ain¡¯t remember where all exactly I am.


    It comes back to me in a small wave, then a bigger one when I remember what happened when Daddy come back. I quick spring up and check on Jacob. He done filled his pants again and has been sitting in his juices for a while I since he smells a little worse than he usually do. I hear a slippery slidey sound coming from the living room, getting closer to the bedroom, so I dive back into bed and cover my head with my blanket. Ain¡¯t nothing can get me when I¡¯m like that, or at least nothing has so far.


    The sound enters the room and goes quiet. So quiet, for so long, that I think maybe I heard something what wasn¡¯t there from the start. I slow lower the covers so my eyes is just peeking out, and there¡¯s Daddy, leaned way over the bed so his head is right above mine. He shouts ¡°I got ya, ya fukkin¡¯ sneaker!¡± He grabs my ankles and yanks me out of bed so I land on my back on the floor. He gives a great laugh and says ¡°ennie meenie fukkin¡¯ mo, I¡¯m the tiger now and I done got your fukkin¡¯ toe!¡± He laughs a mean laugh and Daddy ain¡¯t never swore this much before and it made my heart race, like I¡¯m hearing something I ain¡¯t supposed to. ¡°Now get the fuck up and get to doin¡¯ some shit around here. I ain¡¯t care what, slap your momma¡¯s butt, jump off the roof, eat a handful of spiders, whatever little fukkin¡¯ kids do, but do it somewhere other than here in this bed you fukkin¡¯ lazy ass.¡±


    Daddy goes quiet then. I¡¯m lying on the floor, leaned against the wall, wondering what happened with my real Daddy. He slaps his hand on his leg. ¡°This piece of shit still here?¡± Daddy looks at me but I ain¡¯t answer. ¡°I said he still here?!¡± Daddy gives me a slap on the head ¡°yes Daddy, he still there, right there on the bed¡± Daddy gives me a hard look. ¡°I done told you about him and you ain¡¯t believe me. You do yourself a favor and leave him be. Let him go away on his own. He ain¡¯t never cared for you. Like I said, if you was in switched positions, you¡¯d already be a bone puddle somewhere out in the wilds with things gnawing on you some.¡±

 Chapter 38: Fun Fun Fun in the Sun Sun Sun!

    Momma is on the couch and her legs is up on it, and she''s staring into space, waiting for Daddy, I guess. I sit down next to her and I say "I think they''s something wrong with Daddy. He ain''t look the same and that''s not..." Momma hushes me as Daddy strolls inside, smiling at the both of us.


    ¡°There you both are! Sitting right on that couch! My but that does look comfortable!¡± He eases on over to us and says causally, ¡°well! where that other one at? Where that other murdering bastard at?¡± He gives me a wink, a just between us joke. We ain¡¯t respond and Daddy sighs, then quick springs at Momma and gives her a slap across the face that sounds like a rifle shot. She holds a hand up and touches her face, and I can see it¡¯s red already. She points in the direction of our room. ¡°Good! Real good! So you did know where he was! Ain¡¯t that excellent!¡± Daddy tromps across the room and out of sight. I hear him in there mumbling, and I¡¯m terrible afraid he¡¯s going to do something to Jacob, but he comes out and is smiling. ¡°Great! What a great time we¡¯re all having! Scamp!¡± He points at me, ¡°you all having a grand time out here?¡±


    I say quietly ¡°yes Daddy¡± and Daddy says ¡°yes Daddy! Yes indeed, Daddy! Having a grand ol¡¯ time out here he is! Finally getting agreeable and understanding where things lay. The lay of the land!¡± I nod my head, yes yes yes, and he chortles ¡°don¡¯t agree too hard or your head will fall right off! Right on off your neck! We can¡¯t have that nohow, although I don¡¯t think Jacob would care too much if it did, ain¡¯t that right?¡± I say yes again and Daddy is laughing hard and pumping his arms in the air. ¡°Whataboutyou!¡± He stops suddenly and points at Momma, who¡¯s still holding her hand on her slapped cheek. She nods once, sullenly. ¡°No no no. I can tell you ain¡¯t having fun.¡± He sighs then tilts his head and starts muttering, putting his hand on his chin.


    ¡°Now what can make that woman so that she¡¯s having more fun. What. Makes. The fun.¡± Daddy goes all the way quiet and stays that way for so long, that I can¡¯t even tell if he¡¯s breathing any more. I shuffle my foot a little bit, and that makes Daddy explode like I done lit off a bottle rocket ¡°I know!¡± He shouts ¡°you¡¯re coming with me, little lady! Time to have us some fun fun fun in the sun sun sun!¡± He grabs Momma¡¯s arm and yanks her off the couch. She gives a yelp and Daddy is laughing now. She falls and now he¡¯s dragging her across the floor and out the front door and into the garden.


    I jump off the couch and look out the window, and my knuckle is in my mouth, and I¡¯m biting it to keep from screaming. Daddy is beating on Momma with a hoe and dancing around her, tearing her clothes off and laughing like it¡¯s the funniest thing in the world, and I can¡¯t watch no more. I slide to the floor and I hear Momma screaming outside. I cover my ears and get up to run. I catch a glimpse outside and Daddy is doing something to her with the end of the garden hoe between her legs. I close my eyes now and I stumble into me and Jacob¡¯s room, and climb into bed, and hide under the covers, and wish it all away.


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    The sun is shining through the window, and I¡¯m happy to get on outside and play with Jacob in the backyard. I bet he comes up with something what all is fun what I never done before. I can come up with some things in my head, but Jacob is better at the plannin¡¯ stage what with doing the things we talk about. He sure is good at that. I turn over to see if he¡¯s up yet, but I¡¯m confused since the room was all wrong. I guess I had a pretty good rest for I ain¡¯t remember where all exactly I am.


    It comes back to me in a small wave, then a bigger one when I remember what happened when Daddy come back. I quick spring up and check on Jacob. He done filled his pants again and has been sitting in his juices for a while I since he smells a little worse than he usually do. I hear a slippery slidey sound coming from the living room, getting closer to the bedroom, so I dive back into bed and cover my head with my blanket. Ain¡¯t nothing can get me when I¡¯m like that, or at least nothing has so far.


    The sound enters the room and goes quiet. So quiet, for so long, that I think maybe I heard something what wasn¡¯t there from the start. I slow lower the covers so my eyes is just peeking out, and there¡¯s Daddy, leaned way over the bed so his head is right above mine. He shouts ¡°I got ya, ya fukkin¡¯ sneaker!¡± He grabs my ankles and yanks me out of bed so I land on my back on the floor. He gives a great laugh and says ¡°ennie meenie fukkin¡¯ mo, I¡¯m the tiger now and I done got your fukkin¡¯ toe!¡± He laughs a mean laugh and Daddy ain¡¯t never swore this much before and it made my heart race, like I¡¯m hearing something I ain¡¯t supposed to. ¡°Now get the fuck up and get to doin¡¯ some shit around here. I ain¡¯t care what, slap your momma¡¯s butt, jump off the roof, eat a handful of spiders, whatever little fukkin¡¯ kids do, but do it somewhere other than here in this bed you fukkin¡¯ lazy ass.¡±


    Daddy goes quiet then. I¡¯m lying on the floor, leaned against the wall, wondering what happened with my real Daddy. He slaps his hand on his leg. ¡°This piece of shit still here?¡± Daddy looks at me but I ain¡¯t answer. ¡°I said he still here?!¡± Daddy gives me a slap on the head ¡°yes Daddy, he still there, right there on the bed¡± Daddy gives me a hard look. ¡°I done told you about him and you ain¡¯t believe me. You do yourself a favor and leave him be. Let him go away on his own. He ain¡¯t never cared for you. Like I said, if you was in switched positions, you¡¯d already be a bone puddle somewhere out in the wilds with things gnawing on you some.¡±

 Chapter 39: He’s a Bitin’ Dog

    I have tears in my eyes now ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be no bone puddle... Jacob ain¡¯t never let me be that way.¡± ¡°that¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong ol¡¯ Bud. Ol¡¯ buddy ol¡¯ pal. I done told you he tried to kill you his damn self when you was but a little piece of pink rubber in a cage. I was the only thing keeping you alive the whole time. He also used to try some trappy things when you was even older. You know when he done fired up the carpet in the kitchen and we ain¡¯t let him touch no matches after that?¡±


    I ain¡¯t move ¡°do you!?¡± Daddy raised his hand again to smack me around some, but I nodded and that seemed to calm him. ¡°Well, he ain¡¯t just interested in making some small kinds of light or flickers with them matches, when I was talking to him alone like, he done said he was trying to catch you on fire, but the match slipped. You ever wonder why we ain¡¯t leave you two alone too much? Momma always there, peekin¡¯ out the window when you play in the back yard or the like?


    It¡¯s so you ain¡¯t come to no sneaky accident at his hands. All kinds of sharp thing around this world, and I saved you from doom probably about 16 or 17 times. Believe that shit. You best believe it.¡± Daddy smiles smugly and crosses his arms. I ain¡¯t believe it. I ain¡¯t never been in no trouble at Jacob¡¯s hands. This was a trick probably. ¡°Daddy, maybe we all need a little vacation...¡± Daddy shouts ¡°No! We is all having the times of our lives up here! Especially since you all know what this is about now. Momma finally came around after you done gone to sleep. She got a little limp now, but that¡¯ll probably clear up enough by the next few weeks. Then she can get right back to getting¡¯ this place ship shape for the comin¡¯ coldness.


    Get it alllll good and ship shape! Hell yeah!¡± He whooped it up. He points at me, ¡°you ain¡¯t believe me about Jacob? Fine. You is the one in charge of him now. Full charge. But don¡¯t expect us to chip in none. Maybe you¡¯ll come to your senses about how much of a murderer he is. One of these days you¡¯ll come to understand.¡± Daddy stands there, going blank, then shakes his head ¡°one of these days you¡¯ll come to understand. Understand.¡± Then he starts to sway like he¡¯s losing his balance, but he rights himself and says again, ¡°Understand¡± then he wipes his hands on his face like he¡¯s trying to take something off, then slaps himself, gives a laugh, and says to himself


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    ¡°he¡¯s a dog. Just a dog. Ain¡¯t doing nothing but eating, and shitting, and he¡¯s a dog.¡± He laughs again and says to me ¡°he¡¯s a dog! Woof Woof! A rabies dog what needs to be put down! A damn bitin¡¯ dog what is just sleeping. You ain¡¯t want to get your hand to wandering too close to his mouth. Maybe he¡¯s faking it. Biding his dog time to catch you unawares. You ever think of that, ol¡¯ Jeremy?¡± I say ¡°I¡¯m Gabe, Daddy¡±, Daddy gives his head another shake and says


    ¡°that¡¯s what I said, don¡¯t you backtalk me or I¡¯ll feed you to the sleeping dog.¡± Daddy heads on out of the room. I start to cry. I ain¡¯t know what all is going on around here. I¡¯m afraid of Daddy now, and I ain¡¯t want to leave this room. Is it true Jacob done tried to kill me and they was saving me the whole time? I think way back as far as I can, but I ain¡¯t come up with nothing. Why if he trying to kill me he ain¡¯t pushed me sideways off the slide all them times I went down? I ain¡¯t believe it. I ain¡¯t. He weren¡¯t never like that. He did set fire to the rug in the dining room, but that were an accident. It was.


    We ain¡¯t never told Momma or Daddy that my shirt was the thing that caused the fire. It was lit up first, but I done took it off before it burned me. I threw it on the carpet and it burned instead of me. Jacob and me, we hid the burned shirt and I done put on another one since we ain¡¯t want to get into more trouble. It was Jacob¡¯s idea. No. He ain¡¯t done that on purpose. Did he? No. I go to Jacob and look close at him, and beyond the smell I see he¡¯s still blank as a wall. Do I see something in there, behind his eyes? Do I see a light? Is he faking it like Daddy says? Waitin¡¯ to catch me unawares? The thought gives me a chill. I snap my fingers in front of Jacob¡¯s eyes, but they ain¡¯t blink. I sit next to him. I ain¡¯t sure how we¡¯re going to get out of this. Daddy ain¡¯t right no more. I need my Momma.

 Chapter 40: On the Bright Side, Maybe you can Teach it Some Surprise Tricks!

    I walk slow and quiet out to the living room, for I ain¡¯t sure how the game has changed on me. Daddy never done hit me before, and I ain¡¯t never seen him hit on Momma. I ain¡¯t want to think about what all I seen him to her out in the garden. Daddy and Momma is sitting on the couch when I come in. Her face is covered in bruises which she quick covers with a book. I look at Daddy, and he¡¯s got his hand on her leg, and he¡¯s beaming at me.


    I turn to her. ¡°Momma.¡± She pulls the book closer to her face and holds out a hush finger to me ¡°this here is the good part! I done read this at least a few times, and I know it¡¯s the good part. I don¡¯t exactly remember what happens, but I sure am excited! I can''t wait to find out!¡± I look back and forth at them. ¡°Momma, Jacob done voided himself again and he need to eat some food for his bones is showing.¡± Daddy looks at me frowning ¡°I done told you before. You wanted a dog, so that means you got to take care of it on your own. That¡¯s the way I was raised, and that¡¯s the way you is going to do it too. It¡¯s your responsibility. We talked about this. You promised you were going to take care of it, and for us not to worry for you would do everything for it. Would teach it tricks, and feed it, and all what all else. Yo


    u backing down on us now, even though we scrimped and saved for it? Now you just want to give up because you¡¯re bored?¡± Daddy tisk tisk tisks, ¡°surprised at you son, I thought we done raised you better than that.¡± Momma chimes in, haltingly and with a white face. ¡°That¡¯s right. Gabe, we told you that you were too young to care for a pet¡± Daddy interrupts her, ¡°Dog¡± Momma says, ¡°Dog. And now it looks like maybe we was wrong to get you one. You only had it for a little while now, and you want to be done with it already?¡± I get a feeling like I¡¯m falling and the world rotates a little bit. Momma and Daddy don¡¯t look quite real.


    I¡¯m talking and the words come out I think, but I don¡¯t know what they are, and they sound buzzy. As soon as they is out of my lips, they is gone and absorbed into the walls and the couch. I see Momma and Daddy shaking their heads sadly, and I can''t understand what they¡¯re saying. Now I know what Jacob must have felt like when he was under the water, getting thrown around in the current until he didn¡¯t know which way was the ground. ¡°Good¡± Daddy says ¡°then we understand each other.¡±


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    He gives Momma a hard look ¡°real good!¡± She says. Daddy goes on ¡°it¡¯s your dog, so you take care of it. Tell you what, if you do good enough, maybe we can get you something bigger to take care of. Like one of them... Fukkin¡¯ things you ride upon¡± Momma says quietly ¡°a horse¡± and Daddy looks at her suspicious ¡°you makin¡¯ fun of me? You want to take another walk in the garden? Would you like that?¡± Momma shakes her head hard ¡°no, Ross¡± ¡°no sir.¡± Daddy says. ¡°No sir. I ain¡¯t makin¡¯ fun. I think they is called a horse. Ain¡¯t they called a horse, Gabe?¡±


    She looks at me pleadingly. I smile and nod numbly ¡°good¡± Daddy says ¡°we¡¯ll see how you do with this here, and then we¡¯ll talk about it some other time.¡± Daddy goes back to relaxin¡¯ and rubbing Momma¡¯s leg. Momma looks at me with wild eyes and talks fast ¡°I know It''s hard to care for something, but it¡¯ll teach you good responsibility. I know you can do it, just keep at it and it¡¯ll be easier the longer you have it for. And hey! Maybe you can teach it some surprise tricks what you can show us later once they¡¯s all mastered!¡± Momma nods her head, smiling a stretched smile. Daddy smiles too.


    I walk stiff legged to Jacob and lean over him. He ain¡¯t no dog like they say. He¡¯s a boy, and their son and I ain¡¯t rightly know what¡¯s going on. Maybe Momma and Daddy is playing a game, only I don¡¯t like it and ain¡¯t sure how it¡¯s played. I look back out at them on the couch and they¡¯s still sittin¡¯ there, like we ain¡¯t have no conversation where they called Jacob my dog. I don¡¯t recall having a conversation anytime about wanting a dog neither. Or did we and I ain¡¯t remember? Daddy and Momma sure remember it. Maybe I¡®m just confused for I forget things sometimes, like clearing my dishes and not tracking no mud into the house. Maybe it was like that. I look at Jacob and I get overwhelmed. I ain¡¯t know how I¡¯m going to care for him on my own, but I know if I was the one on that mattress, Jacob would figure out something for me. He would figure it out.

 Chapter 41: A Stink is the Best Perfume

    He wouldn¡¯t do like what Daddy said and leave me in the woods for things to gnaw on. He needs cleaning first thing, so I go out to the kitchen and get a glass of water and a dish rag since I ain¡¯t want to drag him past Momma and Daddy. Momma says ¡°what you all doin¡¯ with those?¡± I say I¡¯m bound to clean Jacob since he is covered in filth.


    She says ¡°not with my good dishrag you ain¡¯t. Also, Daddy and me has always been wondering, why you call it that? Why you call it Jacob and not, Fluffy, or Rudy or the like? Jacob ain¡¯t seem like a proper name for a dog. It¡¯s confusin¡¯ to us since Jacob is a person¡¯s name. You oughtnta call him that.¡± Daddy chimes in ¡°that¡¯s right, you call him something else why don¡¯t you. I was always partial to Fido or Max myself. I once had a dog named Max and he did get up to some shenanigans. He would take off all over the countryside, rollin¡¯ in everything what gave off a stink and would come back all pleased like he was covered in the best perfume.


    He was always confused when we runned away from him when he got back. Got himself hit by a car he did, and dragged himself about two miles to die in an abandoned coyote den. We left him there and just covered up the tunnel with some dirt and rocks and the like. He did us a favor by findin¡¯ his own grave and all that.¡± Daddy chuckled ¡°oh, what I was getting'' at, when Max would get all stinky, we ain¡¯t wash him with no cup of water and the best dishrag. He done got hosed off outside. That¡¯s how it¡¯s done and he sure did like it. So you just put that dishrag and cup back for that ain¡¯t the way to do it. That¡¯s all the fatherly wisdom I¡¯m going to give you since you should know how to take care of your own pet. Don¡¯t be lazy. Also, it¡¯s clear as day that¡¯s what needs to be done anyway.¡±


    I put the dishrag and cup of water back at the sink and go to Jacob. I get him on the blanket and I don¡¯t care what Daddy or Momma say, Jacob ain¡¯t no dog. I ain¡¯t calling him Max. I wish they would stop with this, for it was tiresome, and wild. I drag the blanket with Jacob on it across the living room and into the yard and Momma¡¯s head is buried in her book and Daddy is looking up at the ceiling, like he sees something important up there what needs immediate attention. I unroll the hose and drag it over to Jacob and get it turned on and the stream of clear water is like ice and this ain¡¯t going to be too pleasant for Jacob. I say sorry to him and that I¡¯ll make it quick. I shuck off his clothes like always and pile them to the side and hose off Jacob as fast as I can and I expect this is better than using a wet rag, but I know I ain¡¯t want to be hosed down naked on the lawn. Goosebumps is on his skin and turns red for the cold of it.


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    Once I finish with Jacob, I hose off the pile of his soiled clothes. I ain¡¯t sure how clean they are, but Daddy and Momma probably ain¡¯t want to let me waste no soap on him. At least the sun is out and maybe I can hang them up to get a little of that drying sun warmth. Jacob is lying on the blanket which is wet now too and he looks like a puppet. I can''t bear to look at him like that, so I take off my shirt and spread it over his hips and undercarriage to give him some warmth.


    I wring out the wet clothes as best I can, but my hands is too small and when I pick them up, they¡¯s still all dripping. I look around and there ain¡¯t no tree branches within my reach, but they¡¯s all in the shadows anyway, so I spread them out good enough on the ground to wait for them to dry. Now I¡¯m schemin¡¯ on how to get something to eat for Jacob so I head inside and start searching. I know better now than to ask Momma or Daddy about it since they claim he¡¯s a dog and probably ain¡¯t want to part with no human food for him.


    I¡¯m opening cupboards and drawers and there¡¯s some dried old beans rolling around the bottom of a drawer. I find a small sack of flour and a half-eaten sleeve of saltine crackers too. I grab them up even though they¡¯s all dry things and I ain¡¯t sure if Jacob can eat them like this. I walk to the door and Momma says ¡°where you takin that, Gabe?¡± I say I wanted a little snack while I¡¯m out hosing. She says to put back the saltines since she¡¯s saving them for when we could get us some cheese.

 Chapter 42: Makin a Dry Bean Cake

    Daddy asks suspiciously if I¡¯m going to feed our food to that no-good pet of mine. I say no, they¡¯s for me and I was going to make pancakes in the sun with some beans in them and I think it may be some good eatin¡¯. He says, ¡°well you just better be doing that since that food ain¡¯t for no pet. They have to eat the special food. As if you didn¡¯t know.¡±


    I say, ¡°oh yeah! The special food! I plumb forgot where I put it! I¡¯m always forgetting stuff and I guess I would lose my fingers too if they weren¡¯t so tightly attached to my hands!¡± Daddy thinks that¡¯s funny since he¡¯s the one that always says that. ¡°Right on under the sink you crazy kid. In that sack.¡± He rolls his eyes at Momma and says ¡°kids! Always forgettin¡¯ one thing or another. Ain¡¯t that right?¡± Momma gives him a small smile and goes back to covering her bruised face with her book.


    I check under the sink and I see a sack all right and I know what it is already without looking inside. It¡¯s our garbage, filled with peelings and rotting crumbles and a few empty cans. I say ¡°right! Right where I left it! Darn well forgot!¡± I make a big show of holding it up as I walk outside. Jacob¡¯s skin is starting to dry a bit, so that¡¯s good. I ain¡¯t going to feed him no garbage, so I have to make do with this flour and dried beans only I don¡¯t rightly know how I¡¯m going to do that without filing his mouth with powder. I might wind up choking him and make his lungs turn into dough for all I know.


    I got the hose, which is good, and I give him small sips out of it. Then I get an idea what I seen Momma done one time while she was making biscuits with this here flour. I cup my hand and scoop out some flour from the bag and give it a little slosh of water from the hose. I mush it up a little and it¡¯s slimy and slipping through my fingers, so I add a little more flour and it¡¯s sticky now and clung to my fingers, but I roll it between my hands until it¡¯s more stuck together and now I guess it¡¯s ready to eat.


    I pull little pieces off of the dough and feed him and they go down just fine. Jacob Is getting his sustenance and that makes me happy. I make another little dough ball, only this time I mix it better and it¡¯s like a little cake in my hand. I go, ¡°Jacob! I done made you a surprise! This here is your early birthday and you sure deserve it! You lucky I ain¡¯t so hungry, elstwise I would gobble it all up before you even got one bite!¡±


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    Which weren¡¯t true. I was hungry too, but I can take care of myself and Jacob needs this more than I do. I can say out loud when I get hungry, but Jacob ain¡¯t got no way of telling of his hunger needs besides slowly showing more and more of his bones through his skin. I pinch this cake up and feed him and it¡¯s all gone. I pull the dried beans out of my pocket and they look like little tigers, what with the striped markings and all.


    I say, ¡°these here are tiger poops! These is a great delicacy and will make you so strong, you can hunt buffalo in the wilds for about a hundred days without getting tired. They can make you jump right up into a tree and all other manner of special powers, like claw swipin¡®.¡± These beans is as hard as pebbles. I ain¡¯t sure if you can swallow one whole without it just passing through you, like that time I ate a penny and it come on out a few days later, only slightly shinier than when it went in. I pop one in my mouth to test, and it ain¡¯t have no flavor and it feels like a loose tooth inside my mouth. I spat it into my palm.


    I need to get Jacob to eat these beans, for I get the feeling like flour and water together ain¡¯t enough to make Jacob¡¯s bones stop showing. I look all around for something I can use to spruce these beans up, but ain¡¯t nothing come to mind. I can bash them on some rocks I guess, but then I would have to pick up all them little parts and they¡¯ll still be hard, just smaller.


    I pop another one in my mouth and give it a chew and after some work, it gets pasty and has a flavor like wet dust, but at least it done moistened it up alright. I swallow and look at Jacob for a good long while. I get an idea but it ain¡¯t a pleasant one, but I guess if I can clean and hose his privates, this ain¡¯t quite so bad as all that. ¡°Now we¡¯s great big hawks and I¡¯m the biggest hawk, and you''s still in the nest. You¡¯s still a hawk, only you ain¡¯t learned to fly yet, but you still fierce and have a beak that can rip through a metal car door. Still tough, only need a little help with about one or two things before you get big enough to take care on your own.¡±


    I pop a handful of the beans into my mouth and chew them, and it¡¯s like I filled my mouth with a handful of marbles, but I work them around with my teeth. Some spittle comes and helps with the chewing, and pretty soon they¡¯s all in a paste and not hard no more and I spat the glob into my hand and look at Jacob.

 Chapter 43: Eyes Aint Yellow

    ¡°This here is a meal fit for a fierce hawk. They do everything they can to survive and they is heartless and with only one thing on their minds. Eatin¡¯, and hawkin¡¯, which includes pecking at things which look terrible, like a dead cat on the road, or another bird¡¯s babies. It ain¡¯t good nor bad. It''s just the way it is.¡±


    I take pinches of the glob of chewed up beans from my hand and feed Jacob like that until they¡¯s all gone. He can''t make no fuss and I ain¡¯t sure he knows what he¡¯s eating, but when he comes out of this, I¡¯ll tell him to gross him out since we like to do that. ¡°You done ate my chewed-up beans naked on the lawn.¡± Jacob''ll go, ¡°eww! no I ain¡¯t!¡¯ And I¡¯ll say, ¡°yes sir you did, and it was probably the best food you ever ate!¡± Jacob will chase me around, but he¡¯ll think it¡¯s funny. All the funny things he done since he went into the water.


    This goes on for a good long while and I get better at taking care of Jacob on my own and it ain¡¯t so hard only I have to be sneaky to Daddy and Momma, for they think I¡¯m feeding him trash. When me and Daddy and Momma eat, I pretend I¡¯m extra hungry and get seconds, or thirds, even though I¡¯m hiding most of it away for Jacob when they¡¯s not looking. Daddy is proud of me for eating even more than him, and says that I¡¯m going to be a real stout trout.


    Pretty soon he¡¯ll have me moving entire logs around the property. He says he¡¯s glad Momma finally give him a son and he winks at her and says, ¡°maybe we ought to try for another. Get us a real work force up here! Can build about ten houses with two of these strappers.¡± He claps me on the back real hard and guffaws. Momma says quietly ¡°one is more than enough. I don¡¯t even know what we would do with two.¡± Daddy looks at her hard and says ¡°we¡¯ll see. We¡¯ll just see.¡± I feed Jacob this way, and sometimes they¡¯s not even enough for me to eat, but I still hold a little back for him.


    I''m dragging Jacob through the living room to head outside to hose off his foul yellow shit pants. Daddy is sitting at the table and looking at pieces of paper what came out of envelopes. I know they¡¯s probably important since he¡¯s got Momma¡¯s reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. He is frowning and grumbling about having to pay for something that should be free, and how they get our address anyway? Momma is doin¡¯ Momma things in the kitchen, and right when I get to the door with Jacob, Daddy says without looking up,


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    ¡°that there is disrupting to no end. You dragging your pet all every which way with it smelling like the very devil himself, wasting good water to hose it which we¡®re paying for¡± and he waves a piece of paper at me like it means something. I get mad then. I ain¡¯t never been this mad at Momma nor Daddy before and it scares me as I ain¡¯t know what they¡¯ll do, but I¡¯m tired of this here game and I done the best I can with feedin¡¯ him, and watering him, and cleaning him, but it ain¡¯t enough. I seen his hips poking through like a skeleton yesterday and his eyes ain¡¯t white no more. They is yellow. I know my eyes ain¡¯t yellow. I know Daddy¡¯s eyes ain¡¯t yellow. I know Momma¡¯s eyes ain''t yellow. I know eyes ain¡¯t supposed to be yellow.


    I drop the ends of the blanket and I shout ¡°he ain¡¯t no dog! This is Jacob, your boy, and my brother! He done fell into the river and can''t move no more and he used to run, and now all he can do is lay with his eyes open! You all stop now! He ain¡¯t no pet! He ain¡¯t!¡± I stomp my feet ¡°he¡¯s turnin¡¯ into a dead thing before my very eyes and I ain¡¯t know what ails him, but I know it ain¡¯t good! His legs is white sticks now, and his shoulder blades stick out like triangles, and he ain¡¯t lastin¡¯!¡±


    I¡¯m crying hard now and wiping my tears as they run down. ¡°We done pretended we was chickens in the woods and we done gathered up wood for our first fire in the house, and he¡± I sob ¡°and he saved me when them rowdy boys next door shot me in the neck with a bb gun, and done helped find things in the piles for you Daddy! You done taught him how to make a fire with two sticks!¡± I turn to Momma and they¡¯s both frowning dirty now, but I go on anyway, for I can''t stop.


    ¡°Momma, you told him he done real good when he brought up that food from under the house even though we ain¡¯t know what it was. Here he still is! Laying on this blanket and turning into a skeleton! He ain¡¯t my pet, and I ain¡¯t asked for no pet, and he¡¯s your son, and he was first before me! He saved me from ghosts when I was little. He showed me how to make a little boat."

 Chapter 44: Stuffed Brown Eagle Pants

    Which done floated away and he went to get it for me! And he ain¡¯t come out of the water soon enough and he¡¯s still down there! Can''t you see him?! He still ain¡¯t come up!¡± Momma and Daddy are looking at me like I¡¯m a stranger, and they¡¯s dead eyed. Daddy says ¡°that¡¯s it. I ain¡¯t want to see that thing no more. You keep it in the back and take care of it. Momma and I is moving to your room so we ain¡¯t have to walk by it every day. I¡¯m this close to dumping it like I done dumped that wolf to fend for itself.


    This is all because of you. You brung us all down by getting that beast and bringing it into our house. We was doing good until that thing came along. We had ourselves a garden and we done got all the comforts up here, and they was hard won. But that thing ain¡¯t bring nothing to this place ¡¯sides grief, and you is a part of that grief since it belongs to you.¡± Daddy gestures to Jacob. ¡°Give him what he deserves, Woman. Fetch him a few blows. Teach him what happens to bad dogs.¡± Momma blanches and shakes her head. Daddy smiles.


    ¡°Ok. Then you¡¯re the bad dog.¡± He grabs her by the neck and throws her to the ground. ¡°Gabe!¡± He says in a light happy voice, ¡°get me one of them kitchen knives if you do so please!¡± Momma screams something but it¡¯s muffled. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Daddy puts his ear all the way to the ground next to her head. ¡°You say you¡¯re going to take care of the bad dog? Take care of him real good like?¡± Momma is nodding her head and sniffling. ¡°Great!¡± Daddy says, ¡°then get on to it before we play bad dog all night. Me and you.¡±


    Momma gets up slowly and picks up a blackened wooden spoon from the table and descends on Jacob, standing uncertainly over him. Daddy says in a dead voice, ¡°fetch him one.¡± Momma starts to beating on Jacob with it while shouting ¡°bad! Bad! Bad! We ain¡¯t never should have let you in this house! You¡¯s a dangerous animal what turns everything sour and takes all our water for yourself!¡±


    I¡¯m trying to get Momma to stop, but she ain¡¯t stop, so I put myself in her way. She don¡¯t care what she¡¯s hitting no more, and she¡¯s hitting me now too and shouting with tears running down her cheeks. She stops and is breathing hard and points the spoon at my face ¡°and don¡¯t think that I ain¡¯t saw you sneak that mangy thing food. Food from our table!¡± She looks wildly at Daddy who gives her a gesture like keep going. She looks back at me, ¡°That¡¯s our hard-won food and ain¡¯t fit for its likes!¡±


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    She throws the spoon at Jacob and it hits him in the forehead dead center and leaves a red mark, which slowly rises into a welt. Daddy is clapping and whistling now ¡°that¡¯s it! You done taught the bad dog something he¡¯ll always remember! What a good woman! Now for the encore!¡± Daddy takes off at a lope toward the back of the house. I hear grunting and crashing back there and Momma whispers to me ¡°you all need to get on out of here. That ain¡¯t your Daddy.¡± There¡¯s more heaving sounds coming from the back rooms, and Daddy comes out all red faced and breathing hard.


    ¡°There. That¡¯s done. You take that thing all the way in the back and if we see it again, I ain¡¯t accountable for my actions.¡± He sits down at the kitchen table and picks the piece of paper and starts reading it again. Momma looks at me for a while longer with wide eyes, then turns back to the kitchen counter to start doing Momma things again. I¡¯m scared, and angry, but I drag Jacob back toward the rooms and I see that Daddy and Momma¡¯s things are now in mine and Jacob''s room.


    I drag Jacob all the way to the last room where Daddy and Momma used to sleep, and our things are strewn around. The mattresses is all lying askew and them things what I collected and put on my shelf are thrown about the place. The special piece of wood Jacob found a while back what looked like an old man¡¯s face is broken in half now. Jacob¡¯s pants are still filled with his shit. I ain¡¯t sure what all I¡¯m going to do to save my brother.


    I fix up the room as well as I can and I decide to pile the two mattresses on top of each other since I ain¡¯t want Jacob out of my sight. Now he¡¯s in the need for protection. I lay him down, and I lay next to him, even though the smell he gives off is something awful, but that¡¯s okay, since Jacob would do the same for me. ¡°You ain¡¯t no dog¡± I whisper to him, and gently touch the welt on his forehead.


    ¡°Not like Daddy says. Don¡¯t listen to them. I know you is in there. You just need to swim to the surface so we can get on out of here and go exploring together like we done before.¡± I tell Jacob a story about the outside. How I seen a big bald eagle walking on the ground instead of flying and it looked like he was wearing a big pair of stuffed brown pants. He was so proud to be walking and doing something other than flying. Maybe if people were able to fly instead of walk they would be just as happy as that eagle.

 Chapter 45: We Can Always Make Another One

    I close Jacob¡¯s eyes for him so they ain¡¯t get dry. I tell him I¡¯ll take care of him, even if Daddy and Momma done gave up on him. I could see him just under the surface still and all I needed to do was to find something for him to grab on to so he could come back out.


    Daddy¡¯s doin¡¯ something. Something out there with Jacob. He done dragged him outside and he ain¡¯t say why, and when I tried to follow, he done took a swipe at me and told me to mind my own fukkin¡¯ business.


    I watch out the window and Momma walks quiet up next to me. I ain¡¯t trust her no more for she done took Daddy¡¯s side with things. I edge away for I ain¡¯t sure if she¡¯s going to hit me with something. Daddy is out there and he¡¯s got Jacob in his arms and is trying to stand him up on his hands and knees and is shouting something I can¡¯t hear, but I do hear him making barking sounds and this ain¡¯t natural.


    Momma looks at me and says, ¡°I ain¡¯t want to do nothing that man tells me. I want you to know that. I ain¡¯t want to hit on nothin¡¯, but he do things to me. Things what all a boy your age shouldn¡¯t oughta know about if I don¡¯t do like he says.¡± She gives a big sigh and goes on. ¡°Remember when we all used to go to the park and get some ice cream afterward sometimes?¡± I nod without saying anything. What if she¡¯s trying to get me to say something so she could tell on me to Daddy?


    ¡°I always wondered why you all kept choosing the same kind of ice cream. Bubble gum. I think about that sometimes. Jacob would only pick the one kind of flavor, but you done picked something which had two things to it. Ice cream. And gum. So you could get two things for one. You always was smartest and thought things out. I ain¡¯t sure where you all got them smarts from, but it sure makes me proud.¡± She puts a hand on my shoulder, hesitantly and awkwardly, and I shrug it off while watching Daddy shove Jacob¡¯s face into a puddle of which I guess is pee. Like he¡¯s training a dog. Momma goes on


    ¡°real smart you are. Figuring things out and getting all you can out of something. I remember I ain¡¯t even hardly had to tell you the rules to Candyland before you was beating even me at it, every time. Learning fast and how to play the game right. So you ain¡¯t lose.¡± Momma grabs my shoulders roughly and turns me toward her ¡°playing the game fast and right the first time so you don¡¯t lose, right, Gabe?¡± I say ¡°I ain¡¯t want to play this game none. It ain¡¯t right with you two turning on Jacob. He¡¯s my best friend and if he ain¡¯t around, all I have left is you two. Where my Daddy gone? You going to go next? When you going to start barking at Jacob and putting his face in the piss?¡± I say piss, and it¡¯s a bad word, but I ain¡¯t care no more. The times is over what I care what these people think about what all I say.


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    Momma says ¡°You ain¡¯t got no choice. You done played it fast enough when Daddy told you to feed him garbage, and you done pretended Jacob was a dog all right that time. Why ain¡¯t you play it all the way? You ain¡¯t know what all your Daddy can do. I ain¡¯t never seen him like this. If I had a thought he could be like this; I would have taken you and Jacob over to Grandma¡¯s house before Daddy come back with his tail between his legs. I ain¡¯t know he could do these things.¡±


    She looks at Daddy out there, blanching as he tries to feed Jacob some grass to make him puke like dogs is supposed to do on occasion. ¡°Gabe. Was you paying attention when Daddy done talked to us about staying up here forever? You was paying attention, right?¡± I shake my head yes. ¡°Well, was you paying attention to the part where he said we was all going to be up here together, even if we died from it? He ain¡¯t lying about that. I know when all he¡¯s lying, for he done it enough right to my face so I can spot it a mile away.


    He ain¡¯t lying about this. If we ain¡¯t learn to get along, he¡¯s going to kill us and tell himself that we ain¡¯t good enough to get along. Daddy says we can always have another kid to make up for not having two, but he also means he can get himself another family if it ain¡¯t work out up here. He ain¡¯t even going to be sad about it. He¡¯s going to say to himself that we wasn¡¯t strong enough to get along, we was weighing him down. Like a dog that ain¡¯t do what is told of him, or of a sack full of kittens what all can¡¯t be fed, so they is tossed into a pond so they don¡¯t drag nothing down with them as they get older and want for things all the time. You understand?


    I need you to understand. This is the last time I can tell you, and if you ain¡¯t get it, I have to watch out for myself too, because like Daddy says.¡± Momma¡¯s face turns blank ¡°we can always make another.¡± She lets me go and walks outside to be with Daddy. I stand there numb and watching as they both take to trying to train Jacob in the garden. Trying to stop him from shitting and pissing himself all the time. Like a dog.

 Chapter 46: Learn Him the Doggy Ways

    I watch and whatever they is doing, it ain¡¯t working. Daddy gives a big shrug and Momma copies him and they both drag Jacob back into the house and thump him onto the living room floor in front of the couch. ¡°Well, I ain¡¯t never seen the likes of it.¡± Daddy says ¡°this here mutt ain¡¯t learn nothing at all. Can¡¯t even stand up or eat grass for pukin¡¯ or nothing.


    I tell you, I ain¡¯t see much return in keeping this thing around if it¡¯s too stupid to do what all we ask of it. I knew you all should have let me help with the choosin¡¯ of this animal. If it was my way, we would have just kept the wolf dog instead of this here. At least that wolf could have protected the property or some such. I¡¯m about all done in with the trainin¡¯ of this wild beast.¡± Daddy shakes his head sadly. Momma opens up her blank face to give me a look and I measure what all I can do, and I ain¡¯t see nothing else to do.


    ¡°Damn!¡± I say ¡°I thought for sure this here mutt would take to trainin¡¯ good. He sure seemed lively when we picked him out, right Momma?¡± Daddy looks startled for a second, then recovers ¡°You all both took a look at this dog and said to each other, ¡®this thing here will do everything what we tell It'', and you ain¡¯t even ask me about it? No wonder it ain¡¯t worth a damn. Explains a lot.¡± I say ¡°we sure did a terrible job with the pickin¡¯, but like you all said and like I say, I¡¯m the one to blame.


    I¡¯m the one who ought to have to train him in the ways of being a good dog. Maybe he can be trained to even pick up a dead bird or something, like in the magazines with hunting.¡± Daddy rubs his chin ¡°I don¡¯t know about that, I ain¡¯t sure you even have the fortitude to train this grumpy thing. You have to be firm and fierce for that¡¯s the only language a dog knows. They is used to traveling in packs and nipping at each other to keep the peace, and them what ain¡¯t the topdog usually get the worst of it. This here sure ain¡¯t no topdog...¡± Momma starts to say something but I cut her off


    ¡°you is right. This ain¡¯t no topdog and needs a little nip to keep him in line.¡± Momma¡¯s eyes are big now as she watches me cross the room and grab up a spatula from the crock on the counter. ¡°this ought to do ¡®er. Right, Daddy?¡± He looks at me close, then at the spatula. ¡°Yeah. That oughta do her just fine. Show me your skills.¡± He crosses his arms to watch. I get to it, pulling the hits at the end as much as I can. It helps some that the spatula makes a loud whacking sound on Jacob as it¡¯s wide and slappy enough.


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    Daddy is whooping it up and hopping around like I just won the Olympics. Momma is looking away. Daddy says, ¡°that¡¯s good! Don''t overdo it though, can only whack them so many times before they ain¡¯t learn no more¡± but I go on hitting Jacob, and now I¡¯m angry and taking it out on him. Angry at Daddy and Momma and Jacob too, and I ain¡¯t sure if he really was trying to kill me all these many years, but I ain¡¯t care in this moment and I can¡¯t stop.


    Daddy says ¡°that¡¯s good enough. Good enough! Good enough I say and I¡¯m the boss!¡± He¡¯s grabbing for my arm then, and I sidestep him and keep at it and I ain¡¯t pulling the hits any more, and I¡¯m slapping on him with the spatula like he was covered in fire. ¡°Stop! Jesus Christ almighty!¡± Daddy finally grabs my wrist and takes the spatula out of my hand and looks at me with a half-smile on his face. ¡°You believe me now?¡± I stare at him, still angry. Then I nod. Daddy claps me on the back and says ¡°you¡¯ll do just fine. Teach him real good you did. He¡¯s learnin¡¯ whose boss real quick I expect.¡± I look over at Momma and she looks at me like I ain¡¯t the same person no more. And Maybe I ain¡¯t.


    I ain¡¯t sleep too good this night. After I finally hear Daddy start snoring, I get up and look at Jacob close now, thinking about everything Daddy said about him. I know he ain¡¯t no dog, but I¡¯m getting suspicious about him, maybe laying there in wait to kill me like Daddy says.


    Jacob ain¡¯t able to answer no questions about it, and it¡¯s getting so I ain¡¯t trust him so much. Ain¡¯t trust that he would take care of me like I take care of him. He been like this for so long I ain¡¯t recall real memories. It feels like a T.V. show I watched a long time ago where I only remember the big points, like a shootout in an old dusty town where everyone seems like they is falling off buildings and it¡¯s like that. like it ain¡¯t really happen in real life. I always trusted Daddy and we was pals I thought, but look at how that turned out.

 Chapter 47: Pizza Pockets with Daddy

    When Daddy finally come out of the woods into that garden, he was only a passing resemblance to the Daddy what took us all up here in the first place. I ain¡¯t sure what all he was getting up to out there, but it was a sharp feeling when he done come out into the light, like when something has been in the same spot for a long time and you ain¡¯t quite see it no more. like a spider slowly weaving in the corner of the room. You glance at it every once in a while, and note a few webs, then all at once you¡¯re attention is drawn all the way to it when it¡¯s full and done with a fly in the middle, twitching while the spider sucks up its juices.


    I ain¡¯t know if this was my Daddy or not, but I remember the things we done together and how he called me Scamp. I ain¡¯t sure if it was because I was always scamping out of getting murdered by Jacob or if that was a little lie he done told since he changed, but some things Daddy was saying were true, and some of them weren¡¯t. They was blended together so it gets to where I can¡¯t tell which is which.


    I wish Jacob would wake up so I could ask him. If he told me he ain¡¯t never tried to smother me with a pillow, I would believe him, but he¡¯s fading now and maybe even if he told me, I would find a glimmer in his eyes that would make me believe Daddy rather than him. Jacob weren¡¯t the best all the time. He was always hogging the T.V., and telling me what all we were going to do, and if I wanted to do something different, he just wouldn¡¯t play with me and I would have to beg or give him something to play my games.


    I¡¯m looking over at him and I¡¯m getting madder and madder that he ain¡¯t do nothing I wanted ever. I done forget the good things he done with me and all that¡¯s left is me hating what all he done to me, and all that he done what Daddy says he done, and his shit filled pants I always got to change, and his stupid tongue hanging out of his mouth, and suddenly I ain¡¯t want to take care of him no more. Even as a dog.


    Daddy was right. We is up here to survive, and me taking sides with Jacob ain¡¯t have me survivin¡¯ none. Daddy only hit me on account of Jacob, and that makes me madder since Jacob is the one who got me hit. If he weren¡¯t here, I ain¡¯t get hit none. Daddy would instead take me on a drivin¡¯ trip like he used to and would turn up the heat and the radio and we would eat our pizza pockets from the gas station. The good ones. Crusty and warm instead of brown and dusty or too hot and drippy. Daddy would look my way and ask a question and his breath would smell like sausage and we was on the way to an adventure, it ain¡¯t matter what all it was.


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    I ain¡¯t in charge of my movements now. I¡¯m picking up the stuffed gorilla I put next to Jacob all the time to keep him company and I put it over his face.


    I done heard on T.V. that you can tell if someone is faking being asleep if you put something over their faces or if you plug their nose and cover their mouth. They need to breathe and they¡¯ll start thrashing around to get some air inside if they fakin¡¯, but Jacob ain¡¯t do that. Maybe he¡¯s sneaky enough to hold his breath until I¡¯m done covering his face. I hold it for longer and he still ain¡¯t move none, and I ain¡¯t sure what all I¡¯m doing, but I know I can¡¯t stop.


    I hear a shuffle in Momma and Daddy¡¯s room. Daddy¡¯s loud snoring stops for a second, then picks back up and my ears are pricked.


    The shuffling comes closer and I quick take the gorilla off of Jacob¡¯s face and cover myself in a blanket and pretend that I¡¯m sleeping, but I crack one eye. I see momma sneaking into the room. She comes up to Jacob and watches him for a while and it looks like she¡¯s sad, then she leans over and gives Jacob a kiss on the forehead and brushes his hair from his bruised face and stands up and sneaks back out the room.


    Momma ain¡¯t playing the game like she done told me to. I hate her, and I hate Jacob, and I want everything to go back to how it was. I want to walk in the sun with Daddy while he tells jokes. Maybe Daddy is right about starting over. If Daddy could do that any time he wanted, maybe I can too. Maybe Momma and Jacob is keeping us from being that way. I stare at Jacob¡¯s stupid face and his open mouth and I think about how it would be if they wasn¡¯t around no more. Me and Daddy could get along just fine without them. We could build out here and get along like pioneers like what all Daddy wanted from the start. Momma and Jacob was holding us back.

 Chapter 48: The Chicken Man

    We is walking in the woods, Daddy and me. I watch him sneaking around in front of and I smile, for Daddy knows how to do everything right. He looks back and holds a finger to his lips and points in the direction we is heading. I nod and look serious again. We is on a mission. Daddy says we ought to be as quiet as we can, for we is taking something which ain¡¯t really belong to us, even though we need it more.


    Daddy crouches behind a log at the edge of a clearing, and he gestures for me to come closer to where he is. I do and Daddy is whispering out of the corner of his mouth. ¡°There they is¡± he says, and he sounds excited beyond his whisper. I look around but I ain¡¯t seen nothing out of the ordinary. Daddy grabs my head between his hands and turns it in the opposite direction I was looking.


    I see a few fat birds, flappin and peckin¡¯ at the ground near the trailer and they¡¯s chickens, and then I recognize we is at the chicken man¡¯s house. Daddy licks his lips and says again in my ear so his breath and whiskers tickle. ¡°we¡¯s bound to get them chickens, boy. We is bound indeed and ain¡¯t nothin¡¯ going to stop us from doin¡¯ so. You ready to catch us some chickens?¡± I nod my head. I¡¯m not sure how we¡¯re going to do this, but I¡¯ll follow Daddy in whatever he¡¯s doin¡¯, for he¡¯s the one with the vision. We is about to climb over the log and help ourselves, but Daddy holds me back and says ¡°hup!¡± Gesturing at the house.


    The front door flaps open and the chicken man comes into view. He¡¯s wearing greasy blue sweatpants with suspenders to hold them up and he ain¡¯t wearin¡¯ no shirt. He stumps down the stairs and into his yard. We is both peering at him from underneath the log. He snaps his suspenders over his flappy skin and kicks around in the dust a little, not unlike the chickens we is schemin¡¯ on getting ahold of. He takes a seat on a chunk of upended wood in front of the trailer and rolls a cigarette while watching the chickens dance around the yard, fighting each other for bugs and little rocks.


    ¡°Damn.¡± Daddy sighs, ¡°we¡¯re going to be here for a while¡± and he settles in to get comfortable for the long wait. I sit with my back against the log and get to thinkin¡¯ about how we is going to get them chickens away from that man. I want to impress Daddy and I¡¯m thinkin¡¯, and pondering, then I shove off and leap over the log. Daddy hisses and tries to catch at my ankle before I get spotted, but getting spotted is what I¡¯m tryin¡¯ to do. Daddy is going to be so proud. I start waiving my arms and shouting at the man, taking a quick peek at Daddy who¡¯s eyes is just peeked over the log, frowning like I¡¯m doing something against him, but after this, I¡¯m sure daddy going to trust my own actions all the way.


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    The man stands up quick and looks around for something, settling on a stove length of wood to use as a clobbering device. I¡¯m shouting ¡°help! Help! I¡¯m in a big lot of trouble over here! I think my brother is going to die!¡± The man looks at me suspicious as I get closer. ¡°what all you yellin¡¯ about, boy? Nope! That¡¯s far enough! I¡¯m aimin¡¯ to wallop someone what gets too close to me and I can throw this hunk of wood pretty far and accurate enough to take a chunk off ya! That¡¯s close enough I say!¡±


    And he swings the wood around menacingly, like he¡¯s batting at flies in front of him even though I¡¯m still about twenty feet away. I slow to a walk but I don¡¯t stop. ¡°Oh boy!¡± I shout ¡°got a real situation out here! My brother done perched on a big ol¡¯ pile of branches and was playing at tightrope walking, but he done slipped and took a tumble right on inside the pile! He ain¡¯t able to get out! I think he done broke something in him! Something bony and painful so his limbs don¡¯t move too good! I tried to move them sharp branches away, but my arms is too weak on account of how little I am, look here!¡±


    I flex my arm and there¡¯s not but a small muscle. The man lowers the chunk of wood, but is still eyeing me suspicious. ¡°How I know you ain¡¯t just a little person from like a circus and is trying to lure me away from my homestead? You gonna put me in chains and attach some extra limbs on to me and make me into a circus freak? Payin¡¯ five dollars or so to watch the incredible man with an arm coming out of his neck or something?¡± I stop at this for I ain¡¯t sure how to prove I ain¡¯t from the circus. I ain¡¯t never had to consider that before. ¡°I ain¡¯t! I¡¯m a kid! And I ain¡¯t never even been to the circus!¡±


    The man says, ¡°that¡¯s exactly something a person trying to kidnap people for the circus would say. I ain¡¯t believe you.¡± He sits back down on his seat, wood thumper across his legs for easy access. ¡°Look!¡± I say loudly, walking slowly closer ¡°I ain¡¯t got even like a beard or nothin¡¯, ain¡¯t got no hairy pits and can¡¯t hardly even chop a piece of wood for the weakness of my arms!¡± The man regards me, then says, ¡±ain¡¯t I know you from somewhere?¡± I say ¡°No sir, just passing through is all, and I ain¡¯t been in these woods for long enough to get to know nobody.¡± The chicken man narrows his eyes, but he ain¡¯t recognize me for he only saw me the once. ¡°Hold on then, I got a test for you. Don¡¯t go nowhere or I¡¯ll sic my dogs on you. They take to bitin¡¯ anything if I say so.¡± I nod okay.

 Chapter 49: It Dont Take Much to Push Him Inside

    The man backs up to his house and goes inside briefly, coming back out with a hand behind his back. He walks closer to me and says ¡°sure is some nice weather we been having lately...¡± then his hand darts out and he throws something at me. I duck out of the way just as it whizzes by my head. ¡°You sure do got some good reflexes. I know you ain¡¯t from no circus since you would have caught that there tennis ball. Everyone knows that circus people is all capable of juggling at all times. Can¡¯t help but catch a ball what is wung their way.¡±


    He spits and sits back down on his wood. ¡°Well. What all you want with me, child that¡¯s not from the circus?¡± I walk even closer, careful not to look back at where Daddy is, even though I¡¯m powerful curious to see what all he¡¯s doing back there. Probably thinking I¡¯m squealing on him. ¡°Like I say, my brother done fell off a sharp pile of branches and he done got stuck inside. I think he¡¯ll probably die eventually since you can¡¯t live in a tree branch pile for too long I expect.¡±


    The man stands up and starts scratching at his crotch, ¡°well, let¡¯s get on over there then. See what all the fuss is about. But you mind me, I find that you is trying to trick me into something, I¡¯ll stove your head in and feed you to my chickens.¡± I ain¡¯t answer that, only start to lead him into the woods and away from his house. I see Daddy out of the corner of my eye, and he¡¯s still peeking above the log, only his eyes look like they is laughing and that¡¯s good. He trusts me. I¡¯m heading on at a good pace and the man is tripping around behind me, for I¡¯m leading him through a thicket. He says ¡°how much further to this here branch pile? I got the sweats and I ain¡¯t cut out for hikin¡¯ even though I live in the woods.


    I ain¡¯t like to walk around too much on account of how it do chafe my legs too much. I have to powder them and I ain¡¯t like the smell of that no chafe power too good. It puts me off my meal and gets on my fingers and feels slippery and not in a good way. More of like a powdery way that don¡¯t sit right with me. Sometimes it gets into my soup and they¡¯s little powder chunks on top of the soup and they ain¡¯t mix in and just sit there on top. I try to scoop them out onto the table but they stick to the spoon and the whole thing is disgusting. Ain¡¯t nobody should have to go through that.¡±


    I say ¡°just a little closer now, can¡¯t you hear him hollering?¡± The man cocks his head to the side and says ¡°I rightly can¡¯t hear nothin¡¯ nope, but I tell you, I got about a few minutes left of this walking business, then I¡¯m going to have to turn back. I ain¡¯t like to leave my property. I ain¡¯t going to get caught away from there for too long in case I get hit by a falling piece of airplane or something that causes sudden and final death what all I ain¡¯t looking out for.¡± ¡°Just up here¡± I say ¡°right on up here and round this corner of trees¡± the man sighs and bends over with his hands on his knees, wheezing.


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    He nods his head and breathes hard ¡°okay, get on movin¡¯ then. I better be getting some kind of a reward for this here life savin¡¯ activity.¡± He stares at me and keeps scratching his crotch, only slow this time. "Yes sir¡± I say ¡°you¡¯ll be so happy with the kinds of rewards you¡¯ll get. Once you save my brother and become a big hero, you¡®ll get your name in the paper and get calls from someone famous or the president or something of the like. They¡¯ll you a piece of paper with an official seal on it that¡¯s also probably good for a free meal somewhere I expect.¡± the man says,


    ¡°I ain¡¯t like to leave my property, like I said, but I do like turkey. You think they¡¯ll send me a turkey up here so I don¡¯t have to leave?¡± ¡°I just bet they will¡± I say ¡°big ol¡¯ turkey. You probably don¡¯t even have to wait until thanksgiving. can eat it straight away¡± the man nods and looks excited now. ¡°let¡¯s do it! Lead on! Get a move on! Get on!¡± So I do. I lead the way. I ain¡¯t lie. There''s a big pile of sticks and branches and all what someone piled up a while ago. The branches is bone white from age and look sharp and dangerous, which is just what I told the man.


    ¡°There she is!¡± I say ¡°brother inside that pile there and he sure is in a painful predicament!¡± The man rubs his hands and says he¡¯s going to get right to it. He heaves his weight onto the first branch and almost loses his balance, but grabs for another branch just in time to save himself from a short fall. He wipes his brow and mutters, then takes another step up. And another. ¡°I ain¡¯t see him in there, where he at inside?¡± I say ¡°he¡¯s in there real deep, he fell right from the top and right on inside the middle part so you can only see him from the top.


    Get on up there and I¡¯ll be right behind to point him out.¡± he continues to climb. I climb on after. He¡¯s taking his time and his legs is mighty short even though his top half is a big as a barrel. He ain¡¯t too good at this. He ain¡¯t lie about being bad a hustling with his legs. He¡¯s at the top now and he calls something to me but I ain¡¯t answer, pretending I don¡¯t hear him until I¡¯m right up next to him. He¡¯s peering through the maze of branches. I expect we¡¯s about twenty feet off the ground now.


    He says ¡°I still ain¡¯t see him, you point him out so I can get my brain thinkin¡¯ about fixin¡¯ a solution and get famous and get a free turkey and that.¡± I point through an opening in the branches and he leans way over, trying to get a better look. I step closer to him. Much closer. He turns around and smiles. ¡°Well now, this is starting to get pretty comfortable.¡± He reaches for me with one arm while rubbing furiously at his crotch. It doesn¡¯t take much to push him over.

 Chapter 50: Next Thing you Know, the Dog is Going to Start Asking for an Allowance

    I get back to the trailer and there¡¯s a dust cloud on the front lawn. Daddy is chasing them chickens all around with a big burlap sack. He starts by sneaking up on one real slow, then dives at it with the sack open, but a chicken he somehow managed to catch already, pops out and makes a run for it. Daddy is swearing up a storm and takes to throwing the bag at the chickens. The bag gets close on one occasion and trips one up a bit, but it flaps its dusty wings and runs to the other chicken friends for consolation.


    They gather in a pack, looking at Daddy suspiciously for they don¡¯t want to go in no sack. Daddy is red faced and huffing and puffing. He squats on the chunk of wood the man was sitting on previously and puts his hands on his knees and blows out a big breath. He looks up and catches sight of me. ¡°Get on over here! We gotta catch these here broilers before we get caught! Need these chickens for a soup and some fried chicken!¡±


    Daddy is looking all around for the chicken man I led into the woods. ¡°Where he go? You run away from him to buy us some time?¡± I say ¡°He ain¡¯t coming back here to catch us with his chickens.¡± Daddy says ¡°what you mean? We gotta get a move on, elstwise he¡¯s gonna come upon us pulling a bird robbery. Heard tell they can string you up for such an offence. Like stealing someone¡¯s horse I expect. Rustlin¡¯ is what we¡¯re doing, and I don¡¯t think anyone at all would take kindly to such an action. Especially out here.¡±


    I shake my head and look him in the eye ¡°he ain¡¯t coming back¡± Daddy looks at me funny ¡°why ain¡¯t he coming back? He change his mind about wanting to live up here?¡± I say ¡°he ain¡¯t coming back nowhere¡± Daddy looks at me long and long. Then starts laughing, slapping his leg and whistling through his teeth. I join in and we is both laughing as the chickens roam around and kick in the dust. A wind rises and slaps the front door of the house like it¡¯s clapping us on. ¡°Well!¡± Daddy says, ¡°get you a sack too and let¡¯s get to gathering up these chickens!¡±


    It took some doing to catch all them chickens, but they was all quiet in the bags now since they thought it was night and was time for sleepin¡¯. Chickens is stupid. Along the way home, we came close to that giant dangerous pile of branches and I ain¡¯t even give it a second glance.


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    At the house, Momma straight away comes barreling out from the back room like she was doing something she ain¡¯t want to be caught at. Daddy says ¡°what¡¯s all has got you movin¡¯ so, woman? You doing something sneaky in our absence?¡± Momma is shaking her head no, but Daddy says ¡°yes you was! I can read it all over you like pages in a paper. Words on pages in a paper. What all you been doing?¡±


    She puts her head down but ain¡¯t say nothing. ¡°Scamp!¡± Daddy barks. I stand at attention. ¡°Inspection time!¡± I hop to inspectin¡¯. No changes in Momma and Daddy¡¯s room, so I move to the back where the dog is and it¡¯s got on a pair of clean clothes. I come back at a run ¡°Momma done dressed up the dog! Used some people clothes and it¡¯s back there, pretendin¡¯ to be a human!¡± Daddy shakes his head sadly. ¡°Waited for us to be gone to pull some strangeness. Why you put clothes on an animal for? You think clean clothes grow on trees?¡±


    Momma says ¡°I just wanted him to be warm¡± Daddy says ¡°that¡¯s why blankets were invented, woman. Dogs ain¡¯t fit to be wearing clothes or nothin¡¯. They might get the notion that they can sit at the table and take liberties, like telling us what all they deserve. Pretty soon, you got a dog in charge of you. Walking in front all the time and thinking it can come in a house before you, growling when you reach a hand for its food. Like it wasn¡¯t you who put the food there in the first place.¡±


    Daddy shakes his head ¡°This is getting out of hand. Can¡¯t we trust you to even follow the rules when we step out for a second to take care of business? Chicken business?¡± I chime in ¡°right Daddy. We was takin¡¯ care of chicken biz while she¡¯s in here, dressing up the wildlife with our hard-earned clothing. Bet you even gave him a pat on the head even though he ain¡¯t even do no tricks or nothin¡¯. Bad enough I have to share a room with it without you treating it like it¡¯s people.¡±


    Daddy agrees ¡°this is the last of it. Ain¡¯t no more dressing up that hound, and ain¡¯t no more lettin¡¯ it take advantage of our good nature. Next thing you know, it¡¯ll be wanting an allowance. Now get back there you dummy woman, and get them clothes off it. Better yet, get them clothes off it and get ready to get it on out of here. It ain¡¯t natural to have a dog living in a house. They ain¡¯t supposed to be inside, muddin¡¯ up the carpet and the drapes and the couch. Hard earned couch and drapes. Howling at everything that happens outside. They just howl and bark for the sake of it. Just in case the thing they can¡¯t see outside is somethings that needs to be barked at. Pitiful. Scoundrely. Dirty muddy creature¡¯s place is outside in the wilds. Get it on out.¡±

 Chapter 51: Smart Like Bubble Gum Ice Cream

    Momma has a smile plastered on her face and says ¡°oh sure, that¡¯s a good idea, we¡¯ll get it on outside and it can have its own doghouse. We can put the nametag over the door, like in the cartoons. Like snoopy.¡± Daddy says ¡°ain¡¯t got no time to be building a special house for yon beast. It sleeps on the porch like all other dogs before it. That way it¡®ll keep out the riff-raff and can see what all it¡¯s barking at for once.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡± I say ¡°what all it¡¯s barking at.¡± Daddy nods at me ¡°just so. Well, get to movin¡¯!¡± He aims a kick at Momma. She two steps it back out of sight, and I hear a dragging sound which makes itself known before too long. Jacob is on a blanket and Momma is dragging him outside. She lays him on the porch, and I say ¡°look at it, just laying there like it ain¡¯t want to move on account of how lazy it is. Makin¡¯ us do all the work.¡±


    Daddy says ¡°I can¡¯t believe the nerve of it all. Tell you true, we had us a dog when I was growing up. So stupid that it would snap at bees and try to jump over all of God¡¯s creations. Jumped so high once that it got stuck in a fence and done snapped its leg so that it was floppin¡¯ all around. Ain¡¯t no money in the world can cure stupid, so we put it down and started again with a new one. They¡¯s always more dogs out there. Not like this one who¡¯s always hanging around and pretending it can¡¯t walk. What a cryin¡¯ shame there¡¯s so much laziness in the world.¡±


    Daddy is outside, messin¡¯ about. I¡¯m sittin¡¯ on the couch and reading a picture book about all kinds of animals, and Momma is peeking out the front window, watchin Daddy. He''s far enough away so that she feels comfortable enough coming up to me and to ask what she asks. ¡°What all happened with you all in the woods with them chickens? Where you get them chickens from? Ain¡¯t they the chickens of that greasy man what trades us for eggs and whatall?¡± I grunt at her.


    ¡°What all made him want to give up his chickens what gives him tradin¡¯ eggs?¡± I shrug and keep reading ¡°goddamn it, Gabe, what all is going on in here? You ain¡¯t got nothing to be afeared of, Daddy is right on out there and ain¡¯t on his way back in here, so you just talk to me. What is so terrible about talkin¡¯ to your Momma every once in a while?¡± I set down my book and stare at her. ¡°What you lookin¡¯ at me like that? What has your Daddy done to you? Where¡¯s my Gabe at?¡±


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    She comes close and is tearing up and she tries to give me a hug, but I push her away. I say, ¡°I ain¡¯t gone nowhere except for where you wanted me to go. You say I¡¯m the number one smartest one and can learn real quick like *that*. Maybe I done learned as quick as you say. I¡¯ll tell you the one time since you done told me the one time too. Everything can start again even if you ain¡¯t want it to. You got to sometimes get the ice cream with the gum in it to take care of yourself. And make someone else pay for it.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk that way, Gabe. I¡¯m your mother and I tell you the way it is and not the other way around. That man outside ain¡¯t your Daddy, and I ain¡¯t want you actin¡¯ the same as him. I only wanted you to play along, not to change who you is. Just to play along until we can find our way out of this mess. Find our way out so we can get parted from your Daddy and move to Grandma¡¯s house. Take Jacob with us to the hospital and we can all get well together. Without that wild man who I ain¡¯t recognize no more.¡±


    I say, ¡°You think he¡¯s going to let you just walk on out of here? I see him sitting in the living room in the dark every night now. Why do you think that is? He like sitting in living rooms in the dark all the time? Sound like good fun? No. Daddy is watchin¡¯ so you ain¡¯t steal me away. It¡¯s you who I ain¡¯t trusting. You trying to leave as soon as you can and tear this family apart. You is making the world a worse place for us all.¡±


    Momma covers her mouth with her hands and her eyes are wet.


    ¡°Don''t say that. Where you learn to say that? Has Daddy been talking to you?¡±


    I say ¡°I love my Daddy. He takes me out and learns me the outside world. How it really is. You ain¡¯t understand that that dog is keeping us down farther than you know. Taking up too much attention so that this place is falling to scraps. I ain¡¯t see you bringin¡¯ in any food for nobody to eat. All you do is worry around the place and try to take care of that mutt. You is wasting our good hard-earned things on something what can''t even give nothing back. I ain¡¯t havin¡¯ nothing to do with that animal no more. That there is now your dog. Daddy and me ain¡¯t havin¡¯ nothing more to do with it.¡±

 Chapter 52: She do Like to Carry on When Shes in the Hotseat

    Momma is looking out the window fast now to check what all Daddy is up to and that he ain¡¯t on his way inside. ¡°Listen, listen¡± she says urgently ¡°you ain¡¯t have to do this, Gabe, what all I told you before, I was just trying to give you a warning about Daddy, to stay out of his way and to play it smart. To play along. Like a game! Like a fun game! It ain¡¯t real! none of it! You ain¡¯t have to play it all the way like this. Buying time is all we is doing until we can escape out of here. You come with me. You and Jacob come on with me and we can be happy away from here. We can. You and me and Jacob.¡± I look her in the eyes and say ¡°who¡¯s Jacob.¡±


    Momma ain¡¯t keep a close enough lookout for Daddy. He walks in the door just then and sees Momma looking at me in a serious and sadly way, and says sharp and suspicious. ¡°What all is going on in here? What all you talkin¡¯ about while I¡¯m away?¡± Momma says ¡°nothin¡¯, we was talking about...¡± but I cut her off ¡°Momma there says she was just biding her time before she steals me to go to grandma¡¯s house and to leave you flat. She says you is crazy and you ain¡¯t no good no more.¡±


    I pick back up my book and Momma hisses at me with venom ¡°you fukkin¡¯ little liar. You fukkin¡¯ liar.¡± Daddy looks at her with a smile ¡°oh now! I ain¡¯t think he¡¯s a liar at all. Survivin¡¯ in the wilds with his number one Daddy is what he¡¯s doing, and you¡¯re trying to call him a liar? Him?¡± Daddy walks up to her and grabs her by the back of the hair and yanks her head back, exposing her neck. She gives a strangled call, like a caught bird. ¡°Him a liar! I ain¡¯t think so! You a liar? Yes. But him a liar? No. Nothing of the sort. Not one bit of the sort. You looking for a way to escape and take my one and only son to that wretched woman¡¯s house, who force feeds everyone butter milk and can¡¯t even walk up the stairs for her fatness? You trying to steal him off to there? We¡¯ll see about that we will.¡±


    Daddy looks over at me ¡°what you all think, Gabe? You think she ought to escape?¡± I shake my head no and say ¡°and she also said she wants to take that good for nothing dog with her when she leaves. Take it right out of here. Probably planning on feeding it our hard-earned chicken all along the way. I done told her that it¡¯s her dog now and I ain¡¯t even want it in the first place.¡± I hold the book back up to my face. ¡°Ho ho!¡± Daddy shouts in mommas face, hand tightening in her hair so her face starts to stretch, ¡°pulling a double fast one on us! You told me that it was Gabe¡¯s idea to get that foul dog and I believed you! Well, no more¡± this startled me for I ain¡¯t know Momma was talking about me behind my back, trying to make me the bad one, all the while being the worst bad one herself. I knew it all along that she weren¡¯t to be trusted.


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    Daddy shakes Momma ¡°you hear that? Dog is all yours now!¡± Daddy shakes his head sadly, ¡°but first, there has to be a penalty for all the trouble you been causin¡¯ out here for me and ol¡¯ Gabe. To think! You was plannin¡¯ on taking off without so much as a goodbye? After I told you what would happen if you tried to leave?¡± Momma¡¯s voice comes out in a gasp ¡°I ain¡¯t trying to leave, I¡¯m right here in this house and I ain¡¯t even want to leave! I love you!¡±


    Daddy chuckles ¡°there she goes again ol¡¯ Gabe. Lyin¡¯ as fast as the words can come out of her mouth¡± I roll my eyes and say, ¡°She do carry on when she¡¯s in the hotseat¡± Daddy laughs at that. ¡°She sure do! Well, Gabe, since you was the one who caught her so well, you is the one that gets to deal out the sentence! You is the judge and I¡¯m the executioner!¡± I pretend to think real hard, but I already know a fittin¡¯ Judgement.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we take her on out to the swingin¡® contraption? Get her all wrapped up and leave her out there for a while? Just like she done left our feelings out in the cold with all the lying she been doing lately.¡± Daddy slaps his knee with his free hand ¡°hot damn but that¡¯s a fine idea! Help me with her legs!¡± I spring off the couch and grab up her legs, and Daddy adjusts so that he¡¯s got her in a headlock. ¡°On we go!¡± He says, and we all head out. Along the way, Daddy gives the naked dog a kick and looks back at me and I also give it a kick and say ¡°nyaw! Out the way you lazy bones!¡± Daddy is laughing and I¡¯m laughing and Momma can¡¯t rightly say nothin¡¯ on account of how Daddy¡¯s arm is cutting off her windpipe.

 Chapter 53: Its Dangerous to Feed Chicken Bones to Dogs

    We get her on the tree contraption. She struggles at first, but Daddy gives her a wallop on the side of the head with his fist, and she goes limp fast enough. Got her arms and legs trussed up neat as you please. Daddy says, ¡°now you grab these two ropes and I¡¯ll grab these two here, then when I say go, you pull as hard as you can until I say stop.¡± I nod my head once and give Daddy a wink, and he gives me back a wink.


    ¡°Now!¡± He shouts, and we both get to heaving hard. Momma shoots up the tree until she¡¯s level with the branch that the ropes is fastened to. Daddy says ¡°stop!¡± Now Momma is suspended about 30 feet off the ground, twistin¡¯ in the breeze. Daddy says ¡°okay, now gimme them ropes. We is going to tie them off yonder to keep her up there. A better jail cell I cannot contrive of.¡± He ties them off to a neighboring tree and Momma seems to be coming to now. At first, she looks confused, then she starts to holler for us to let her down. She won¡¯t lie no more, she was only joking, she forgot to turn the chicken over, she ain¡¯t want the chicken to burn, she was going to feed the dog in a little bit, and...


    Daddy cuts her off ¡°shut up up there!¡± He calls through a cupped hand, then elbows me with a smile. I shout too ¡°yeah! Shut your fat yapper! You¡¯re liable to attract a big ol¡¯ moose or something!¡± Daddy giggles at that some and says under his breath, ¡°a moose, hee hee.¡± He stands there for a while longer, looking off into the distance. ¡°A moose on the loose.¡±


    His head hangs and his arms go limp at his sides ¡°moose on the loose.¡± Then he starts to brush off his arms methodically, brush brush brush. He reaches back behind him and tries to scratch an itch in the middle of his back but can¡¯t reach it, so he grabs a stick off the ground and scratches it with that for a while. ¡°Welp¡± he tosses the stick to the side, ¡°that¡¯s done.¡± He starts to walk away. I say ¡°wait, I got another idea¡± Daddy stops walking and watches me. ¡°Hurry the fuck up whatever it is that you¡¯re doing. I ain¡¯t like the feel of this area too good. Getting too dark along these tree edges.¡±


    I¡¯m looking all around and I finally see what I¡¯m aiming for. I grab it and go trotting back to Daddy. I hold it up. ¡°What are you all on about, Gabe? I just done told you that we ain¡¯t got enough time for...¡± understanding dawns on his face and he gets a big smile and quotes something from his own head. ¡°And we shall have the rocks of the valley and they will be good unto us for the whacking of the liars and thieves.¡± He takes it from my hand, hefts it up, looks at Momma hanging up in the sky, and heaves it up at her.


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    The rock hits her leg and she gives a yelp. ¡°Stop it! Get me down!¡± She¡¯s twisting around up there and swinging back and forth, then me and Daddy both are searching the ground. I¡¯m surprised how hard it is to find rocks in the woods. I guess the rock I found was the only one. We each find a few stout sticks instead and start chucking them up at Momma. Mine comes up a few feet short, but Daddy¡¯s second throw hits her right in the shoulder, and she gives another shout ¡°stoppit! Lemme alone! Get me down!¡± Daddy says ¡°okay! Whatever you say! Elevator coming right down! Like you wanted!¡±


    He gestures for me to join him at the ropes secured to the other tree, keeping Momma aloft. ¡°Okay scamp! You know the drill! When I say go, you let loose them two ropes at the same time I do¡± I nod and spit on my hands, getting ready for the go signal. Daddy counts off, ¡°onee, twoo, thrreeeeeeeee... GO!¡± I yank them ropes off and Momma comes plummeting straight down and lands feet first, like the way you¡¯re supposed to jump into water. Her legs crumple and one bends to the side like she got herself another kneecap that made it bend in a new way. Daddy shouts ¡°bombs away!¡±


    And is laughing. Momma is looks around in a daze and her face is sleepy and I can see blue under the skin of her pale face. Daddy says ¡°You know the drill! Grab on again and pull ¡®er up on go!¡± I take hold of the ropes again and Daddy shouts ¡°go!¡± I haul off like last time and up shoots Momma, back up the tree. Daddy ties off the ropes again and stands back with a satisfied look on his face. ¡°Yes indeed. Just right. Like a jack in the box.¡± He stands there for a while again, admiring his handiwork. Momma came to right about then and started shrieking as loud as a cat with its head caught in an electric can opener. Daddy looks at me and says ¡°women. They is always dramatic.¡± Then he leads me, arm around my shoulders, back toward the house. ¡°Time for us to have a little chicken dinner I expect. We earned it the whole way.¡±


    We both step over the dog on the porch and head on inside and get to eating the best meal I ever tasted. There were even leftovers, but we ain¡¯t give them to the dog, for everyone knows it¡¯s dangerous to feed dogs chicken bones. And besides. That¡¯s Momma¡¯s job. To take care of the dog.

 Chapter 54: Her Ways Done Caught up with Her

    We let her down. Eventually. She had stopped with her yowling and was just hanging there, limp as a dishrag. We is watching her from the kitchen, leaning on the counter like we is watching TV. Daddy spats into the sink. ¡°You think she done learned her lesson ¡®ol buddy?¡± I screw up my face and say ¡°I ain¡¯t sure if she done learned her lesson, but that dog is getting underfoot and we need her to watch after it, I guess.


    Although it would be easier if we just let it go away on its own. Waste away out of here. On out of here so we ain¡¯t have to even look at it.¡± Daddy nods ¡°that¡¯s so. A more powerful useless dog I have yet to come across.¡± Daddy leans on the counter and peers out the window. ¡°She ain¡¯t never learnin¡¯. Ain¡¯t ever givin¡¯ me no time of day when I get my good ideas.


    Always in the way. Always makin¡¯ fun and sharp toungin¡¯ me at the wrong time. She ain¡¯t oughta do that. Makes a man feel like less a man. You know what I mean?¡± I nod and say ¡°and I ain¡¯t like her bossin¡¯ around, makin¡¯ people do things for her, probably because she can¡¯t do nothin¡¯ on her own. Lazy lazy. Like that ugly dog she done picked out.¡± Daddy nods his head, ¡°too right. I ever tell you that you is my favorite person? I ever tell you that? Well, it¡¯s true. You always was one to understand your old man. You know I ain¡¯t no liar and have a lot of stuffin¡¯ up in my attic. Smarter¡¯n her¡± he gestures outside at Momma, danglin¡¯ out there.


    ¡°Smarter by far. She ain¡¯t know nothin¡¯. Women. They always get you. Trick you into doing things for them, then WHAM!¡± He pounds his fist on the counter ¡°it¡¯s, ¡®you ain¡¯t workin¡¯ none¡¯ this, ¡®you a liar¡¯ that, ¡®you can¡¯t do nothin¡¯ you set your mind to¡¯ the other thing. I done some pondering out there. Out there in them woods while you was all takin¡¯ care of that mutt.¡± I speak up in protest that I ain¡¯t even wanted to, but Daddy holds up his hand ¡°I know, you was in Momma¡¯s spell and was just too young to realize it. That¡¯s okay. I forgive you. But like I say, I done some thinkin¡¯ out there about how we can make this place even better.¡±


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    He stares into the distance, distractedly ¡°much better. I see the whole thing, Gabe. I see tall houses, gazebos, an inside garden, horses to take us all over the place, oxen to pull sleighs. A little kingdom up here where we can all grow old. You is gettin'' to be a big man now and you done showed me how you can take care of what needs to be takin¡¯ care of. I¡¯m one hundred percent in trust of you. You and me, we is going to make this place a great and mighty force.


    I done made up my mind when I come back that you was all going into a hole out back, and I was going to have to be the one to make the dream come true on my own. But after watchin¡¯ you take on so well with the woods and doin¡¯ what all needs to be done out here, you are to be my number one. And when it¡¯s my time to wander into the woods for the last time, you is going to be number one number one. You get it? Number one of the last one left up here. Directin¡¯ and making everything bow to you in these here woods. Moose kneeling at your feet, birds bringing you offerings of branches covered in berries, and deer just walking into your outstretched knife to give themselves unto you for the butcherin¡¯ block so you ain¡¯t going to need for nothin¡¯.¡± He goes on.


    ¡°Now, Momma out there. I ain¡¯t see her in no vision. I ain¡¯t see her getting along out here and taking things out of the Earth. Wrenching things from the Earth to use as she sees fit. She ain¡¯t like that. She likes to watch T.V.. Yak on the phone to her friends. Call her Momma to complain about this and that. She talks and talks about me not being able to do nothin¡¯, but you see her ever do anything? She have a job? No. She let the garden die and she ain¡¯t know how to jar nothing proper so that the vegetables, our vegetables, went dead sour and turned to poison. She points to flaws, but she got her own to contend with. She aims the blame every whichway but at herself. Now look at her. Her ways done caught up with her.¡±

 Chapter 55: One Day, I Just Aint Come Back

    I say ¡°how all are we going to start Daddy? What we all going to do with this dog and Momma in the tree?¡± Daddy looks at me without no expression. ¡°I done told you I trust you one hundred percent. If there were more than one hundred percent, I would trust you that much too. I¡¯m going to leave it up to you. You know the deal. We all is going to start a whole new world up here. If you see them in it, well, that¡¯s the way we¡¯ll do it. But a little warnin¡® for you. Your Momma and that dog is going to need some powerful watching. They is natural born anchors and will drag on behind you until they get caught on the bottom of the sea.


    They¡¯ll stop you up and drag you under the water with them. If you ain¡¯t want that, that¡¯s also up to you. I ain¡¯t rightly sure what all you did with the chicken man, but I know he ain¡¯t come back to his house to cause a ruckus about losin¡¯ no chickens.¡± I open my mouth. I don¡¯t know, to explain to him what all I done, but he shakes his head ¡°nope, I ain¡¯t need to hear what all the exact details is. I got a pretty good idea what all you done out there. Tell the truth, I heard what all you done told him and I got mighty suspicious I am ashamed to admit. But makin¡¯ up that bit where you pretended to have a brother who¡¯s dying? that was a stroke of genius. Where you learn to say things like that? Were it from the T.V.?¡±


    I shook my head ¡°no, it just comed to me. I can see things in my head, and sometimes I believe them myself. In that moment, I did have a brother and he was in trouble. Ain¡¯t that something? I was sure I did. Was sure I had a brother.¡± Daddy looks at me ¡°you sure is something, being able to convince yourself of something like that. Maybe it¡¯s my fault for never giving you one in the first place, a brother I mean, so you¡¯d have someone to play kid games with out here. So you ain¡¯t have to imagine one. I sure am sorry for that, but we can get along well enough I expect. You and me can get along just fine.¡± I nod ¡°we sure can, Daddy. We can do all sorts of things.¡±


    Daddy ruffles my hair and smiles. I smile back and look outside. ¡°I see her foot kicking some. I think we get her on down here so she can get this mangy thing out of our way.¡± Daddy calls me the boss then and we both head out. Daddy gives the pooch a kick as he walks over it. I walk over it too, but I ain¡¯t give it a kick this time. ¡°Daddy?¡± I ask. He turns to me, ¡°what is it?¡± I look at the thing lying on the stoop ¡°what all is a dog supposed to act like? I ain¡¯t never came close to one until this here. You said you had dogs when you was little and they was all mangy for the most part. Is this one as mangy as all the rest of them dogs you talk about?¡± Daddy rubs his scratchy chin and thinks ¡°well, we done had our share of dogs when I was little, mostly bastard dogs what all ain¡¯t been fixed up... you know what all I mean by fixed up?¡±


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    I shake my head ¡°you all know about how animals and the like are made?¡± My face turns red, for what reason I can¡¯t quite tell, but I¡¯m getting embarrassed. ¡°I guess we ain¡¯t had time to give you the explainin¡¯ of it all. I¡¯ll give it to you right quick. You take two things what all have different fixin¡¯s between their legs. They go at it like animals do, and sooner or later, a little one comes out of the lady and it¡¯s a brand-new animal what they both made together. Happens with everything you can think of. Dogs, cats, lions, birds, trees I think, dirt worms too I expect. You fix them up so one or both of them ain¡¯t got no parts to fit with the other one¡¯s parts, and that keeps them from making a new animal together. That''s done since it can be a right nuisance. Having a surprise animal and all.¡±


    ¡°That what happen with people too?¡± I ask ¡°rightly enough, although there¡¯s some things you can do to keep it from happening. Just you learn this, always keep a rubber on you in case of emergencies.¡± I nod like I know what he¡¯s talking about so he¡¯ll stop talking about it. I think he means wearing rubber boots. Daddy continues. ¡°Back to what I was saying. We got us some pup dogs what come from two other dogs what ain¡¯t wear no rubbers¡± he chuckles ¡°and they growed up and became wild and rucktious.


    They was surprise dogs, so we ain¡¯t got to pick how they was, like you would at an animal shop. It was like reaching into a grab bag of dogs. Kind of like this here I expect.¡± He toes our dog. I say. ¡°You ain¡¯t tell me none about when you was little, Daddy. Did you ever have nothin¡¯ to play with when you was young what wasn¡¯t no dog?¡± Daddy shakes his head. ¡°Sometimes you got to move on from what all happened to you in the past. Besides, them dogs was too wild to play with and they was all eventually put down for being a nuisance. I spent all my time roamin¡¯ around and scrappin¡¯ in the bushes until it was time for supper. It went all on like that until I flat just didn¡¯t come back. I expect I weren¡¯t missed none too much.


    Maybe I was a nuisance too. Like them dogs.¡±

 Chapter 56: We is Walking on a Razor Fence

    Daddy spits. I say ¡°what you all think about this one? He the same as them other dogs you had when you was little? You ain¡¯t like this dog none?¡± Daddy says ¡°no. I ain¡¯t like nothin¡¯ what can¡¯t pull it¡¯s own weight nor show that it¡¯s grateful for what all you give it. The weakest thing you let close to you is a weakness inside yourself. You can take care of something what ain¡¯t worth a damn, but is it worth it to you or the thing you is trying to take care of? Do it really want to be a burden, given a choice? Sometimes what ain¡¯t useful just sits there. It gathers dust and draws life into itself from the people around it."


    I ask ¡°what if something causes one person grief, but another person to have happiness?¡± Daddy thinks ¡°I expect if you is surrounded by people of a like mind, you¡¯ll agree that the thing has to go. Sometimes you gotta let things go, but if you ain¡¯t surrounded by people who think along the same lines as you, maybe they have to go too. Right along with the thing what is causing grief. What all with the survival situation we¡¯re in up here, ain¡¯t but one time you can fail. We is walking on a razor fence. One side is a bottomless pit, and the other is hot fire. Ain¡¯t no room for failing up here. I know you understand. You is a smart boy. Now let¡¯s get movin¡¯. I ain¡¯t got all day to sit around talkin¡¯ philosiphrey.¡±


    ¡°Can I ask you one more thing, Daddy?¡± Daddy looks around like he¡¯s annoyed, but shrugs his shoulders ¡°what?¡± ¡°When them dogs turned into a nuisance, what all you do to them? How you put them down?¡± Daddy says ¡°we done the same thing to them all. My Daddy would hand me a hammer and a nail and would lead me outside to the one that had to go. He always chained it to a long stake in the ground to keep it from runnin¡¯ off. That way I always knew it was time."


    Momma¡¯s leg ain¡¯t in too good a shape, but that¡¯s what you get when you try to escape. It¡¯s blown up like a balloon filled with red and green paint and she ain¡¯t stop moaning, even when Daddy fetches her a few whacks to keep her from making too much noise. We is all sitting at the table. Like a family. ¡°Did you have a fine time in that tree?¡± Daddy asks her,


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    ¡°¡¯bout as fine a time as I did when you had me in that sling like a marionette, making fun of me no doubt. How did it feel? Being a marionette up in a tree?¡± Momma ain¡¯t answer, just has her face buried in her hands. ¡°I say how did it feel?¡± She still ain¡¯t answer, so Daddy gestures at me. I pound her leg with a fist and she shrieks and tries to scrabble backward away from her traitor leg. A leg that she don¡¯t recognize that¡¯s turned on her like a rabid animal, clawing and biting her from the inside. ¡°Good¡± she¡¯s sweating and panting ¡°good up there and I could see the roof of the house from up there.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Daddy says ¡°how it look? You see any holes or anything? Smoke coming out of the chimney okay and all?¡± Momma nods quickly, then grimaces, for any movement sends white hot barbs through that discolored leg.


    ¡°You still thinkin¡¯ about trying to lie about my number one boy here?¡± he puts his hand on my shoulder. ¡°Trying to figure out a way to escape and hurt this family?¡± Momma shakes her head, no. ¡°I can¡¯t here you. Gabe, can you hear her?¡± I say ¡°not at all. She¡¯s awful quiet. I think she¡¯s thinking bad thoughts again. Trying to come up with some tricks.¡± Daddy agrees ¡°My thoughts too! Still can¡¯t be trusted.¡± Tell you the truth, I¡¯m sick of seeing her face right at the moment. Oughta put her outside with the mutt so we can get us some peace and quiet.¡± He looks at me.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get to draggin¡¯!¡± I hop up from the chair and take her legs and Daddy grabs her by the shoulders. We shimmy her across the floor and out the front door. Momma makes noises inside her throat like she¡¯s screaming on the inside. We plunk her down next to the dog and Daddy says ¡°there! Like Gabe the boss says, and like I say, you is in charge of this mutt. Soon enough though, I want you cookin¡¯ and cleaning and preppin¡¯ and getting'' that dog to workin¡¯ too.


    I want it draggin¡¯ large pieces of metal across the lawn to more dignified places. If you ain¡¯t right as rain in a jiffy, what¡¯s the point of having either of you around?¡± He leans in and grabs Momma by the shoulders. ¡°Me and Gabe had one of them talks where you explain to each other what all you think inside your heads. We is of the opinion that if something is causing too much inconvenience to others, and is gathering dust and pulling the life out of others, it needs to be gone. Torn right off the face of the planet like a picture off a wall. Ain¡¯t that right?¡± I say ¡°that¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Fukkin¡¯ right¡± Daddy says and slams the door on them both.

 Chapter 57: We Kill with Hammers

    Momma walks with a limp now, but she hobbles around something quick and ain¡¯t complain nor talk lies no more. Sometimes she takes too long with her tasks though. She done left a streak of water on one of the dishes after washing, but Daddy gave her a snap on the cheek and had her do the whole thing over and she ain¡¯t leave no more streaks.


    She done moved the dog all the way outside and covered it with a sheet of sagging moldy wood leaning on some boards. That keeps the rain off it, and pretty soon, the sleet and snow. It ain¡¯t even got no proper fur to cover it. It looks like a pile of rubber, laying on the muddy frosty ground. Sometimes I catch her trying to get it to stand up or take some food, but it still ain¡¯t move, and me and Daddy just look at each other. Momma should be dusting or sweeping instead of messin¡¯ with that dog. Momma limps out there from time to time, making slide marks. Slide, footprint, slide, footprint. Dragging that leg all around.


    Daddy sits at the table most days, pondering on something or other. Maybe thinkin¡¯ about how we¡¯re going to steal our next meal from one of the neighbors. Daddy told me to visit Uncle¡¯s house to see what all they have over there, but when I got close, I seen the chimney was dead of smoke. I took a big chance in peeking through their windows, but it was empty of furniture and there weren¡¯t no new tracks on the driveway and the porch was sagging. The house stared at me with dead eyes and I left in a hurry. Them other neighbors ain¡¯t never took no shine to us. They left us on our own. Never lendin¡¯ no hand. That chicken man was the worst of them. He wanted a big prize for even leaving his land. He was so caught up in being a hero for someone else that he ain¡¯t had time to be a hero for himself.


    I checked on that slash pile. I did. I checked it long and hard, for I was curious. It was sagging with the wet, and the rain, and the cold, and the frost. I peeked in between the crisscross of bony sharp fractured sticks. Sharp like spears. He was still in there. Right where I left him. Only he ain¡¯t alive no more. His face was all droopy like melted wet wax, and there was a smell coming from him, like a swamp, and old chicken feathers, and mildew. I poked at him with a long stick and the end plunged into his stomach like it was a wet paper bag filled with slimy beans. I pulled the stick back and smelled the end of it and it weren¡¯t too bad. Not as bad as I thought it would smell. I brought the stick back home with me and propped it against the house so I could look at it and remember whenever I wanted. Him reaching for me while rubbing himself with his other hand, a big sloppy grin on his face.


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    Momma won¡¯t look me in the eyes no more and I guess that¡¯s for the best. I ain¡¯t have no more use for her. Me and Daddy is too busy plannin¡¯ out how the property is going to look. Him hunched over a big roll of butcher block paper and me scribbling pictures of what all we¡¯re going to put on our property. Momma brings us the food what all we bring back from the woods, cooked up. I ain¡¯t seen her eat and I guess she eats it when Daddy and me ain¡¯t around.


    She cleans up them dishes real fast right when we is done. Limping around and taking up space the whole time, but at least she can cook a chicken or two, or even a baby deer when we can lead one away from its Momma without us getting run off by it. I done lost the gun them neighbors gave us a while back, although I have a suspicion that Momma hid it away from me. Now we have to kill things with our hands or with a knife, or a sharp stick, or a hammer. We ain¡¯t know how to fix the hides of our kills into clothing like what Daddy wanted, so we pile them near the edge of the woods where they fill with water and smell like rotten fur and blood until the rain washes them, or the creatures of the night fight over them to the death before dragging them away.


    I sometimes wonder if the thing at the edge of the trees Momma and Daddy used to talk about waited until it was full dark to drag the carcasses back into the woods. Sometimes there weren¡¯t nothing left to look at in the morning. Not even torn up hides like when the wild things were at them before running away in the exposing morning light.

 Final Chapter 58: We can Always get Another One

    Daddy looks at me quizzical now sometimes, just like how Momma used to, but I know my own mind and it ain¡¯t bother me none. Momma gets around with her limp and Daddy gets around by commanding Momma and scribbling our plans on the butcher paper, but they ain¡¯t come to no fruition. ¡°When we going to start, Daddy? When we going to put up that big wall and the treehouses and the shed for keeping cows and the like?¡± Daddy says, soon soon. Soon as we have enough space to build. ¡°That dog Momma taking care of taking up all the space? In our way for making a big shed?¡± ¡°Mayhap he is.¡± Daddy says, but I think Daddy is buying time for he ain¡¯t want to get to work any time soon.


    But I¡¯m ready.


    ¡°Daddy?¡± he regards me. ¡°How am I going to know when the time is?¡± He looks at me for a long time, then gets to his feet.


    Momma is looking at us both and she dawns a comprehension and limps fast at Daddy, ¡°you can¡¯t. You can¡¯t! He ain¡¯t a...¡± Daddy fetches her a slap and that shuts her up. Then he walks out of the house, walking straight and tall with a purpose.


    She''s holding her mouth and I laugh through my nose. She comes to me and kneels at my feet. ¡°You know this ain¡¯t right. That''s no dog! You can¡¯t forget! Don''t forget! I done told you wrong from the beginning! We ate atomic macaroni and cheese and I bought you ice cream with him! He¡¯s still your brother and this ain¡¯t no game! Don¡¯t listen to that man! Please, Gabe, I take it all back. Let¡¯s you and me get out of here and take Jacob with us. We can go right now. Daddy trusts you and you can sneak us out of here!


    You is my little baby and was second after Jacob. He¡¯ll come back! He only needs the hospital!¡± Momma is sobbing and clutching my legs and getting tears all over my knees and I don¡¯t like that. I say, ¡°This is what you wanted all along. For us to be up here. All together. And we is all together. We need to take care up here. All manner of things to take care of. You had the chance to take care of that thing, and now it¡¯s the end of it. It¡¯s in the way of our plans. How we going to build this up into a family with something dragging us down? You ain¡¯t done enough for it. Even after all the chances we done gave you.¡±


    Daddy come in from outside and hands me a hammer and nail and I know that it¡¯s time. Momma grabs at him, knowing what all is coming. He says to her, ¡°this here is man¡¯s work. You stay in here and get to cleanin¡¯ up and fixing us something to eat, elstwise, I can¡¯t guarantee what Gabe will decide if you get to interferin¡¯. Animals get put down for having broken legs too. It slows them down. Keeps them from being useful.¡± Momma whispers ¡°don¡¯t you do it. Don¡¯t you dare.¡± Daddy regards her curiously. ¡°I ain''t understand why you so attached to this one dog. There¡¯s a million more out there what ain¡¯t cause this much difficulty. Now step aside and you better have something ready for us when we get back in, for this is powerful hungry work. I should know, I done it many a time before.¡± Daddy looks at me ¡°you ready?¡± I heft the claw hammer onto my shoulder and hold the long nail in my other hand. I give him a nod. Daddy leads the way.


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    Daddy got the dog chained to a spike stuck in the ground like he told me his Daddy would do for him. I walk up slow and Daddy says ¡°you all know where to put the nail?¡± I say ¡°I think so. On his head?¡± ¡°Yep¡± Daddy says, ¡°right on his head. But It''s got to be in the right place, otherwise it ain¡¯t going to work like it should. Here.¡± He walks up to the dog and puts his finger on a spot behind its right ear ¡°put the nail here and kind up angle it up a little, that way it¡¯s over fast and neat and don¡¯t cause too much of a mess. Take your time though, tap it in first, then give it a good whack when the nail stands up on its own.¡±


    I get close and take that nail and line it up like what he said. I tap on it to get it gripped in, and it stays all right. Daddy don¡¯t say nothin¡¯ so I keep tapping until the nail is set enough to stay up on its own. I look at Daddy and he gives me a nod. I wind up and swing as hard as I know how. The hammer is turned a little sideways but hits the nail just fine. More than fine. I hit it like it¡¯s supposed to be hit, and I look down, and it¡¯s all the way in. Right like it¡¯s supposed to be.


    Daddy looks up at me and makes a funny sound and grabs the hammer in his hand and hugs me, close close. He holds me at arm''s length and is smiling. ¡°You did it, Scamp. You did it just fine. I sure are proud of you.¡± I look up, and Momma is in the window. She¡¯s pale like a bread and is holding her hand on her forehead like maybe she¡¯s taking her own temperature.


    We go inside and there¡¯s three plates on the table and one is what I¡¯m hoping for. It¡¯s the old blue China plate from the cabinet, used only for special things like when you lose a tooth, or get the hang of something real good. I smile and blush and look all askance for knowing I done good, but don¡¯t want to draw too much attention to it.?Daddy says ¡°you deserve it. I ain¡¯t done near as good as you my first time. You is a man today.¡± He reaches over and dabs at a splotch of blood on my cheek with his thumb.


    Momma is serving out something on the plates and I glance out the window and I get startled for a second, for it looks like there¡¯s a naked boy laying chained on our yard, but I shake my head and see that it¡¯s just the mangy dog after all. I smile for it ain¡¯t too much of a thing. We can always get another one.