《Queer Tales From A Street Nominally Associated With Your Reality》


 1.1 Al and its taxes

    Al was confused, and it had been for a while. The cause of its confusion? Simple and small enough to be held in its pale well-manicured hands. Endless confusion from a letter printed on creased white paper.


    The letter was simple, cheap, and familiar starting with the same blunt lettering as always:


    ¡°To Mx Al Smyth, Her Majesty''s Revenue and Customs regret to inform one Mx Al Smyth that its right to work application has been rejected on the following grounds.¡±


    A rough secondary fold obscured the remainder of the letter, held pinned closed by Al¡¯s blue varnished nails. Al Sighed to itself and glanced out the window, its eyes flicking across the blurry void outside.


    Was there any point to even read the reason its request had been rejected? It knew the actual reasons, the ones that wouldn¡¯t be written down for fear of admitting the weird truths of the world.


    Al didn¡¯t exist, or rather not in this world, not in this world of ¡°England¡± and ¡°Scones¡±. It had been born of course, born in the city of London, in the year of 1992. But not London, England nor even London, USA. No, it had been born of two loving parents who raised it in the dull rainy streets of London Angleland.


    A simple difference, but one which Her Majesty¡¯s agents seemed reluctant to consider never mind resolve.


    And yet there was hope in the form of a second letter which had also arrived a day prior. A letter currently held open by tiny pink magnets on the fridge.


    This letter too was a cheap, simple, and printed with that so familiar blunt lettering. The letter, like many letters from HMRC had driven Al to a state of quiet seething rage. The harsh characters demanding taxation from Al as a ¡°highly valued small business owner who had recently moved to the country.¡±


    The words rolled through Al¡¯s head as it kicked on its loose purple and black trainers and it muttered to itself. How pray tell can I be ¡°highly valued¡± and also not allowed to work!


    Not that it, or anyone else, wanted to work of course but an enby¡¯s gotta eat ya¡¯know.


    Al sighed to itself once again as it stuffed the two contrary notes into its jeans pocket. It took a second to brace itself against the cold winter and pulled open the door to the outside world with a sharp crack of poorly maintained woodwork. Maybe Sai would know what to do.


    Sai lived ¡°next door¡±, if next door was even a concept which applied to a street suspended between realities. Indeed, it took Al several attempts before arriving at the correct door despite the number of times it had walked the self-same path. With little thought it knocked on the painted wood, its knuckles brushing across planks twisted by years of exposure to the street.


    Al shuddered at the thought and opened its eyes to see Sai stood in the now open doorway. Their freckled brown skin displaying bold dimples, a tell for the desperate battle with the amused grin under their attempted scowl.


    With a sudden fluid movement Sai surrendered to the impulse, grinning widely at their unexpected guest, as they launch into a well-practiced diatribe of sing song tones.


    ¡°Meditating outside my door again eh Al? You are right of course, such beauty to be seen in this dingey street, this doorway!¡±


    They swung their arm in a wide flamboyant arc posturing before the cracked woodwork. ¡°The greatest doorway, nay the only doorway that remains of the greatest French colony the world ever saw. This beloved, mangled wooden thing the last relic of my homeland of Britania!¡±


    Sai stood arms outstretched, leg raised in a contorted parody of welcome for a single moment before Al pushed past them into the house, a crash of long spindly limbs echoing from the street outside as they lose their balance and fall sideways into the gutter. Al looked back briefly and having confirm its melodramatic friend was not actually injured sweep its free arm across the desk in the hallway. A half dozen loose papers and an empty coffee cup wedged themselves precariously between the desk and the wall as Al unfurled the two letters on the scarred wooden surface.


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    ¡°Oooh what have we got here? More letters from the queens¡¯ agents? What do they have to say this time?¡± Their eyes darted back and forth devouring the pages of blunt lettering in a matter of seconds. They didn¡¯t say anything for a moment, musing to themselves as they extracted the mug from its precarious position and strolled towards the door. Al watched silently as Sai moved with deliberate slowness into the kitchen, considering as it had so often if it was worth attempting to talk to Sai as they brewed their coffee.


    It continued watching them through the doorway as they flicked the kettle on, the loud rush of burning gas ending the possibility of further conversation as Al is left to itself and the letters on the desk. A few minutes later Sai returned, a cup of steaming black coffee in each hand. Al took the proffered cup and leaned back in its chair drumming its fingers against the desk as Sai reread the documents between careful sips of the steaming liquid.


    After perhaps ten minutes of careful study Sai addressed the fidgeting Al.


    ¡°Okay so, first things first. Looking at the type face, the alignment, and the ink colour these are both from the same Britain. Not only that but based on previous letters I am ninety nine percent sure that they are also from that Britain¡±.


    Al nodded comprehension dawning as the feylight of caffeine brightened the cloudy blue eyes beneath its messy silver eyeshadow. ¡°So, we can... modify these letters and trick them into accepting my Citizenship?¡±


    Sai grinned and shook their head, ¡°Not quite! We don¡¯t even NEED to modify the letters, you see here?¡±


    They indicated an alphanumeric code at the top of the letter demanding payment. ¡°It looks like you already are somewhat a citizen, so if we simply draft a letter from the point of view that this is just an error then I would hazard a guess that whoever deals with those problems might well just fix it without checking if you are.¡±


    Al smiled vacantly as the scheme gradually clicked into place in its brain. ¡°So, we just send a letter pretending I¡¯m already a citizen and hope they just agree?¡±


    ¡°Exactly! Though, we¡¯ll probably want to send more than one with how the post office is and all! So, let¡¯s get to work eh!¡±


    All in all, the process took the pair almost an hour, and after a mandatory goodbye hug, Al left through the same warped wooden doorway it had entered through to find itself at the top of a set of marble stairs which the house had not previously been attached to.


    Undeterred Al looked up at the sky getting its bearings from the shadowy outline of the buildings of that Britain. Everyone on the street had their own way of navigating, their own ¡°North star¡± to follow, for Al that ¡°North star¡± was the shadowy outline of Blackpool tower, its tip aglow with flickering green light as it brushed against the shimmering bubble of energy that surrounded the street. Satisfied with the sky¡¯s position Al meandered down the street, its feet following the contradictory path of twisted turns and steep inclines that lead to the streets ¡°Post Office¡±.


    Gravity had started drifting lightly by the time Al arrived, the subtle fluctuating currents catching and pulling at its clothing with escalating aggression as the sky threatened a deluge of drift. Al pulled the letters from its back pocket as it approached, face lit by the swirling iridescent tear which passed as the ¡°Post Office¡± of the street.


    Best to make this quick.


    And yet, Al paused at the brink, its eyes drawn deeper into the eery, geometric shape embedded in the air before it. The shape know as the portal, the wormhole, the doorway, or any of the dozen other terms Al¡¯s friends used to describe the mysterious phenomenon. People always had theories, but no one really knew what these things were.


    What the thing did however was obvious; As evidenced by the scorched letters, parcels and drifts of papery ash which dropped through it three times a day, the thing took mail from the royal mail office in that Britain''s version of north London and delivered it, somewhat intact, to the street.


    Ever curious the residents of the street had taken to throwing parcels and letters back through it, objects which to everyone¡¯s delight and surprise seemed to find their way to the addresses in that London and thus the ¡°Post Office¡± was born.


    The ¡°Post Office¡± was an enigma that Al was criminally under qualified to unpack, and yet one that it found transfixing. As the light lit its face, Al''s mind zoned out, stuck in the iridescent purple of the void, its mind empty of everything save the warping iridescence of the purple.


    Al could have stood and stared for hours, transfixed as it had so many times before, but this time the street had other ideas, and a gust of drift lifted it from its feet and the moment of sudden tranquillity was shattered as its trainers re-joined tarmac. Al shuddered shaken by the sudden return to alertness, and quicky fed the thirteen identical letters into the swirling violet energy.


    For a second the letters hung there suspended by the forces that pulled against them, and then abruptly they are gone.


    Vanished with nothing but the faint after images of white and green burning in the purple as each letter was ripped violently into that London. Violent, but expected and Al smiled as it began to walk home.


    As it followed the crackling glow of the tower, it mused on the letters spinning unseen through the burning purple energy and wondered to itself if any of them would survive their journey through the void.


    After all, it would be nice to have its taxes in order.

 1.2 Sai鈥檚 Interdimensional Fishing Hole

    With Al set on its way, the culmination of Sai¡¯s efforts rammed into its torn jeans, there was finally time for Sai to get on with the most important task of their day - Fishing.


    Plan of action established, they wander through the house, past the desk in the hallway now precariously re-stacked with empty coffee cups and ink blotched papers.


    They passed through the dimly lit living room, paused briefly to grab a hot pink scarf from the pile of hastily hidden detritus wedging the door open, and threw it in the hallway as they made their way to the bedroom.


    From the bedroom a speckled tan waistcoat and a lone knee-high boot of bright yellow, found wedged behind the bedroom bookshelf joined the scarf in the vague pile.


    The second boot still missing, Sai searched the house for the elusive left foot. Stacks of clothing and papers moved between corners of the room as they contemplated if the search for the second boot counted as tidying. With such herculean efforts the second Boot was soon discovered, its rubbery yellow form found poking out of the top of an otherwise empty box labelled ¡°Shoes¡±.


    Despite this, Sai is soon stood in the corridor, all items assembled save one. With excessive caution they reached behind the door hoping to find the last item, the crucial fishing rod. To their surprise, they found It immediately and began humming gleefully to themselves as they extracted the rod from its hiding spot.


    Their elevation turned to horror as they read the note pinned to the polished fiberglass. ¡°To Future Sai, plz FIX this I need for fishering, ID do butt IMA BIT dink ¨C Love past Sai XXX¡±.


    An inconvenient memory surfaced and in their minds eye Sai remembered their last fishing trip, a merry night of drinking with friends, a tumble, and the soft crunch of splintering fiberglass.


    ¡°Shit.¡±


    In a single fluid action, the rod was swung round onto the hallway table in a spray of day-old coffee. Scrap paper, cups and takeaway pamphlets slid between table and wall as the amassed stack collapsed under the force of the encroaching fiberglass.


    Laid flat on the table the damage was obvious; the centre of the rod was shattered, a splintered mess of fiberglass the displaced shards fanning out from the break like a peacock tail of sharp plastic.


    Sai considered the damage for a second, cracked their knuckles, and unstuck a heavy roll of black tape from the edge of the desk. So equipped, the raspy Zip of unwound tape filled the corridor, and following a few swift turns, and the rod ruined.


    The rod once smooth and elegant, was now permanently marred, an unsightly mass of sticky black tape deformed the guides, pinning the limp string in place.


    Sai looked at the ruined implement, its repair now an undeniably bigger job than it had been mere moments ago.


    In a moment frank self-awareness, they picked up the rod, underlined and re-affixed the previous label and placed it back behind the door for a future-future Sai to deal with.


    A little later they are out the door, the heap of fishing clothes layered on and clashing enthusiastically with the neon green tartan of their skirt as they climbed the steep steps out to the street.


    Out of habit Sai scanned the sky for the superimposed cities above them and rapidly located tower bridge, its silhouette so alien yet distinctive, an ever-hovering reminder of a world forever lost. And more importantly an indicator that today the Tan household was to the left.


    As they walked, their shoes clicked and clacked against the street tapping an uneven rhythm as the surface switched between cracked concrete, worn tarmac and back again. Sai enjoyed these walks on the street, the inconsistent dreamlike nature of it and idly wondered what great force had created it; God? The Enemy? Or some lesser power that owed allegiance to neither?


    The thoughts trailed off as Sai spots Li¡¯s Door ¨C The expertly maintained stained mahogany a vibrant solid red against the fluctuating weirdness of the street.


    Sai knocked against the wood and took a step back, roughly combing through their hair with dark ink-stained fingers as they heard the tell-tale sound of Li¡¯s uneven steps.


    A weathered hand cautiously pulls the door open a crack, and a creased golden face framed by straight black hair peeked through shortly after.


    Sai raised an eyebrow inquisitively at the unusually paranoid behaviour but managed to power through into an appropriately thematic response. Arm outstretched they point at em, arcing their spine they stab towards em with a single ink smeared digit.


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    ¡°Li Tan, I summon thee! For a great evil has befallen my kingdom, ancient relics broken! Crucial Rituals Disrupted! AND THE END OF ALL THINGS GOOD IN THIS WORLD.¡±


    They lapsed into an awkward silence as Li stared back, unmoved, and unsurprised by the dramatic plea. Li cleared eir throat with a soft cough and manoeuvred to look Sai dead in the eye as ey carefully blocked Sai¡¯s view through the doorway.


    Li cracked a smile as ey notice Sai¡¯s ¡®fishing clothing¡¯ and marked lack of fishing rod. ¡°You broke my spare rod didn¡¯t you Sai?¡±


    Visibly deflated Sai shuffled their feet awkwardly as they avoided Li¡¯s gaze.


    ¡°Well, I ¡­ well to be completely honest yes. BUT I did try to fix it, I grabbed a bit of tape and¡­¡±


    Li talked across them before they could continue.


    ¡°Please Sai, please just stop. Even you can not make fixing my fishing rod with tape sound reasonable. Judging by your lack of mutilated fishing implements I¡¯m assuming you came to borrow a new one?¡±


    Sai nodded their agreement sheepishly and Li sighed and ducked back behind the door. For a second the door swung wider, and Sai¡¯s caught a glimpse of Li¡¯s husband Charlie, sat cross legged and nude in the next room wielding a set of knitting needles as they clacked away furiously. He seemed to notice the breeze and looked up meeting Sai¡¯s gaze. Predictably, Charlie gave a cheerful, unabashed wave and continue knitting undeterred.


    Clearly mortified Li quickly grabbed a narrow bag and practically threw it into Sai¡¯s arms before swinging the door shut in Sai¡¯s face. The dull thud of the door being slammed shut punctuated by an ethereal whistle as Li¡¯s & Charlies house shattered into fractals and vanished, replaced by a rough corrugated wall of steel and a burst of drift as the street reorganised itself.


    Already off balance from the sudden weight and struggling to hold back their laughter Sai was completely unprepared for the drift as the street moved and a burst of gravity hit them at a right angle and knocking them onto the street.


    Sai considered the new skyline with a grimace; the drift had worked against them. The new skyline shifted such that the marker for the ¡°Fishing Hole¡± was now at far end of the street a half hour¡¯s walk assuming that that drift stopped acting against them. It was true that the drift had moved the skylight marker for their house much closer and yet¡­ Sai really wanted to get some fishing in tonight.


    Depressingly the drift worsened as Sai marched towards the fishing hole, they struggled on as the high gravity made each step a momentous effort and the constant shifting drift caused them to repeatedly pass the same houses. Undeterred they arrived at the cloud of roiling steam, that marked the entrance to the fishing hole some hours later, only to find that Li had beaten them to it.


    Li turned to face Sai smiling smugly as ey lounged across eir chair and footstool combo and gestured silently at its significantly less comfortable twin. Sai wadded over cautiously stepping between the ominous triangle of milky grey light and Li¡¯s carefully outstretched leg.


    With a grunt of acceptance Sai slumped into the offered chair and, breathing hard from their exertion turned to Li: ¡°I didn¡¯t expect to see you again today Li, never mind you to get here before me! This street really sucks sometimes. But at least you can tell me; is the fishing any good today?¡±


    Li waved eir good hand in a so-so movement. ¡°It has been quite good, I might head back soon though all things considered.¡± Ey gestured at a bag of smouldering fish cooling on a nearby patch of tarmac.


    Sai nodded in return and pulled themselves out of the chair to stand before the glowing grey triangle. Without ceremony they unpackaged the fishing rod and braced themselves for the most dangerous of tasks - fishing.


    It was not long before they had fallen into the quiet meditation of fishing. The quiet simmering of the grey triangle of light the perfect backing to Sai¡¯s meandering thoughts.


    As they often did, Sai idly pondered the shifting nature of the fishing hole. Never the same ocean, rarely the same Earth, a place of flux and change. And yet, undeniably a place of peace and tranquillity. Its constant bubbling giving the small pond a sense of quiet almost meditative stillness.


    So quiet and meditative that Sai barely registered their friend pressing a note into their hand as ey left. Instead it takes minutes, or perhaps hours for Sais quiet meditation to be broken, snapped back to reality by the fervent tugging of the hook.


    Instinctively they pulled on the rod crumpling the note as they reel in their first and only catch of the night¨C A strange ball of silvery mesh caught upon the tungsten hook.


    Sai looked at the orb for a second and then shrugged, pushing it into the case with the rod as they noticed the sinister purple glow that passed for Sunset. It was a Curiosity, but one best dealt with at home rather than in the dusk of the fishing hole.


    Satisfied that all was packed away they uncrumpled the note, reading the elegant handwriting by the fey light of the fishing hole.


    ¡°You did that zoning out thing again, could not snap you out of it, was nice seeing you though ¨C By the way you owe me sixty quid to replace the rod you ¡®fixed¡¯.


    A small smile broke out across Sai¡¯s lips as they leave the fishing hole, it was SO Like Li to leave a note rather than disturb someone ¨C How such a shy individual managed to get a tattooed hunk like Charlie they¡¯d never know.


    Vagly inappropriate musings of the nude knitter filled Sai¡¯s thoughts as they take the uneventful path home. The warm duality of the suns¡¯ light, replaced instead by the soft nightly luminescence of the streets many angular openings.


    In the soft glow of the night the warped wooden door of their own abode came into focus suspiciously quickly.


    Sai grinned to themselves as they arrive home and paused to give the rough concrete of the wall a friendly pat as they passed through.


    ¡°Apology accepted street, just don¡¯t do it again.¡±


    The door pulled shut behind them Sai carefully set the bag next to the broken fishing rod, the mysterious silvery mesh forgotten as they head to their bedroom.


    The night passed and Sai slept. And as they did the mesh unfurled, its silvery threads slithering free of the bag, duplicating, and separating as they began to spread through the street.

 1.3 Li Vs WiFi Vs Bats

    Despite a late night of gutting and salting portal singed fish Li awoke at dawn, eir eyes snapped open the instant the first rays of light snuck past the heavy cloth of the curtains. Li pulled emself up into a sitting position as ey grabbed the laptop from on the side table and opened a word document to type up the day¡¯s list of chores.


    <ol>


    <li>Check smoked fish</li>


    <li>Visit post office</li>


    <li>Wake Charlie</li>


    <li>Get broken rod from Sai</li>


    <li>Clean Kitchen</li>


    </ol>


    Charlie let out a deep goat-like snore as the final note was typed and Li twisted to look at eir husband. They were serene and handsome in their slumber, the stylised black bull tattooed upon his chest rising and falling as Li traced the bold outline with a single thoughtful finger.


    Aglow with happiness Li turned back to the laptop and hit save to cloud. Li muttered to emself as a familiar error message popped up and added a new point to eir list as ey saved to desktop.


    0. Fix Wi-Fi


    Satisfied that eir morning ritual was complete Li swung eir aching legs out over the edge of the bed. Immediately Ey suppressed a grunt of pain as the movement caused eir old leg injury to flare up and tentatively reached for the wheelchair at the end of the bed. Li moved cautiously, carefully manoeuvring emself from the bed to the chair in a single painful, but quiet motion.


    To eir relief Charlie had not been disturbed, he snored as Li strapped emself into the chair and snuck out of the bedroom keen to check the router and solve the WiFi issue before eir husband awoke.


    As expected, the living room greeted em with the baleful flashing of error light.


    ¡°No broadband? You don¡¯t say.¡±


    With practiced ease Li twisted the router round to inspect the cables plugged into the back of the router. From an initial glance everything seemed to be in order, but to be sure ey carefully unplugged and repulled each cable noting the build-up of tiny silver wires that surrounded the power cable as ey did so, a cleaning task for a future list to be sure.


    Checks complete Li placed the router back on its perch and firmly held the power button. The device whirled in response, and a myriad of LED¡¯s flicked on and off as the start-up routine ran through and it settled back into regular function, the amber flashing still very much in attendance.


    Li grimaced, ey had dearly hoped that the WiFi would simply be a router issue, but alas life on the street rarely had regular solutions for regular problems. Unwilling to delay the inevitable Li grabbed eir coat, shrugging it on as ey wheeled through the backdoor and into the bungalows garden.


    Ey worked quickly, and completed the second and third mental items on eir list in quick succession as ey checked the cables leading from the house for kinks, tears and damage as ey rolled past the neat little rows of potatoes and carrots. Li stopped at the very edge of the garden to inspect the messy array of satellite dishes and plastic wrapped laptops.


    Stood before the marvel of mechanical madness Li felt immediately out of eir depth, and the familiar dread of Red¡¯s design washed over em as ey looked over the illogical stack. Li took a deep breath and focused scowling as ey read the handwritten list stuck to the contraption.


    ¡°Okay Li, you can do this. You. Can. Do. This. Step one is everything plugged in?¡±


    Ey carefully leaned out of eir chair to reach the mess of wire shuffling round cables to make sure none of the plugs had come loose overnight.


    ¡°Okay so step two. Check the signal light.¡±


    A crudely drawn diagram marked the correct light on the box and Li twisted to view the blinking blue LED.


    ¡°Right, Blinking blue, that means¡­..A bad thing I think?¡±


    Ey scanned the list of colour codes finding ¡°Blinky Blu- Portal Mast: Bats?¡± between ¡°Blinky Me! - Fire¡± and ¡°Solid Brown ¨C No pwr¡±.


    Li shook eir head and headed back inside to get eir husbands assistance, Li had no desire to go deal with ¡®Bats?¡¯ alone.


    Li found eir husband awake and lounging in the living room, evidently happy with the temperature of the house Charlie had opted to jump straight into his day without such concerns as trousers or underwear.


    Charlie was sat nude at the living room table, a selection of battered paperbacks arrayed in an arc around him. As Li watched, they picked up the leftmost book and pulled it into an overlapping position with the next. Brow furrowed they traced a chewed fingernail across the new book whilst quietly reading the second under his breath.


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    An edge of mischief crept into Li¡¯s thoughts and ey edged forwards quietly, intent on sneaking up on eir distracted lover. Charlie kept reading, oblivious as the wheels of Li¡¯s chair moved over the smooth tiles of the floor towards him, stopped, and Li leaned over eir lips barely touching Charlie¡¯s ear as ey spoke as loudly possible.


    ¡°WHAT YOU DOING THERE MY BELOVED?¡±


    The effect was instantaneous panic as Charlie twisted off balance to see the source of the yelling, unbalanced themselves and crashed to the floor with a silly grin plastered on his face.


    They bounced back up immediately and wrapped their arms around their partner crushing Li into a hug so enthusiastic Li is lifted out of eir chair as they babble excitedly.


    ¡°Li there you are, ya scared me lovable human you! I was going ta get ya in a mo to show you this tho anyways! Okay, so like ya know how I found four different copies of the davinchi code on the street right?¡±


    Li Nodded.


    ¡°Yes I do, I believe you called it a totally reasonable read?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, like its alright but not amazing if ya get what I mean. Like I like the characters, but I¡¯m not really a huge fan of the endin¡¯?¡±


    Li shrugged in nonplussed ascent as Charlie continued.


    ¡°But yeah anyways, look at these two.¡±


    He gestured at the overlapped pair he had been scrutinising.


    ¡°Like here, this one says that he gets shot, but here he gets stabbed with a freaking narwhale horn! It makes you wonder what else is weird between the worlds! I mean ¨C It make sense right! And think of what it means! We can get infinities of books! We could find the best version of every book! Make a library of the greatest hits from a myriad of universes!!¡±


    Li, startled by the outburst and eir spouse¡¯s wild eyes, decided to quickly change topic as Charlie stopped to breath.


    ¡°Charlie we are going to have to go out into the street, we don¡¯t have WiFi and Red¡¯s notes say to check the portal mast.¡±


    Charlie looked at the assembled books, the need to read battling against the need to be a supportive spouse. Inevitably support won out and Charlie sighed and headed towards the bedroom.


    ¡°Alright Li I guess WiFi IS pretty vital, I¡¯ll put go some pants on.¡±


    True to their word, he appeared a few moments later dressed in his signature Hawaiian print shorts and matching shirt, slipped on some sandals, and opened the door for Li. The door opened to the sight of a rusty ladder leading up to the street. Li raised an eyebrow as Charlie closed and re-opened the door only to reveal a steep flight of stairs to which he immediately slammed the door shut again.


    Cautiously Charlie pushed the door open a third time to reveal an uneven, but broadly wheelchair accessible path directly to the pavement. He flashed Li a thumbs up and stepped back holding it open for em.


    Li rolled out onto the street and Charlie stepped through the door and quietly swept in behind em to help move the chair across the broken concrete. The drift was light despite the smattering of rain that trickled down. The droplets swirled into the duo¡¯s eyes as they scanned the sky for the shadowy outline of the white cliffs of dover.


    The white cliffs, Charlie and Li¡¯s engagement spot was the only appropriate compass they could use on the street. They kept it to the left as they made their way down the street towards the inky black portal which hosted the portal mast, the source of all internet upon the street.


    The route was oddly short, and the pair arrived at the inky disk to hear the panicked yelling of Al as it swung a hoody desperately at a pair of brownish bat like creatures as they flew in and out of the complex array of dishes only to dive back down at Al claws drawn.


    As Li watched one of the swooping creatures was struck by Al¡¯s makeshift weapon, knocked from the air with a solid THUNK and a high-pitched shriek of pain.


    Charlie and Li shared a look of horror as one of the winged beast swept towards them and for the second time today, Li realised that ey were hopelessly out of eir depth.


    Charlie turned to say something, but before he could there was a blur of wings and claws as a bat swerved past Li and onto Charlie¡¯s bare chest.


    As the bats scratched and bit into Charlie, they fell against the chair propelling Li out and onto the street as it tipped forwards. Though bloody and grazed from the fall, Li had accidently gained a new angle to look at the disk array from, an angle which revealed the strange object wedged between two twitching satellite dishes.


    Li ignored the eruption of chaos behind em and grabbed eir stick, loosed from the chair in the fall, and dragged emself towards the strange bundle whist Charlie attempted to wrestle the furious clawed creature to the ground behind em.


    ¡°It¡¯s a nest! They made a nest on the Dish!¡± Ey yelled back at the preoccupied Al and Charlie.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m going to hit it into the portal! ¨C It should all just burn up right?¡±


    Glancing back ey managed to make eye contact with the frantic Al. It nodded back, its bruised eyes frantic and its face a in mass of tiny bleeding bites as it struggled heroically with the furious mass it had somehow trapped under its hooded jumper.


    With a grimace Li adjusted eir grip on eir walking stick, hefted it once and swung it up through the nest with all eir strength.


    The nest came loose as it was struck, the dented orb flying up into the inky blackness of the Wi-Fi portal. For a moment it was stuck there, suspended, and glowing as the heat of the portal ignited the dry mass. After a second it exploded, and the two trapped beasts clawed their way loose in a surge of furious rage.


    Confused and disorientated by the death of the nest the bats split. The first fled, spinning around and flying off to some other part of the street, whilst the second dived headfirst into the inky blackness of the portal in a puff of loose feathers and stink of burnt meats.


    As the smell permeated the air, the twitching dishes began to rotate seeming reset by the removal of the obstruction. Once more able to track and bounce the weak satellite signal out of the portal and along the street.


    From eir slumped position at the base of the portal Li flashed a tired smile up at Al and Charlie as they rushed to help em off the floor. Though battered and bruised Li was pleased.


    It was always satisfying to be able to cross an item of eir list of chores.

 1.4 Charlies Vlog

    Ethanol burned his skin as Charlie rubbed down their bat inflicted cuts with a scrap of cloth. The wounds looked angry, red, and raw, but at least now he knew that it was clean and uninfected.


    He sighed and glanced at the bedroom door where their spouse slept away eir injuries, Li had really saved their ass today so the least he could do is get some work in before ey woke up.


    With great reluctance Charlie flipped out their phone and scanned through his schedule till he found the days date. The attached note read: ¡®Streaming: Cooking with Mr & Mx Tan¡¯ a show which was thoroughly unlikely with said Mx tan currently collapsed in eir bed. Ever the creator Charlie pulled off the ruined shreds of their shirt and flicked the camara on to start a vlog ¨C everyone loved a good vlog, right?!


    ¡°Hey folks, this is Charlie¡¯s Naked Truth comin¡¯ at ya pre-recorded from A Street Nominally Associated With Your Reality for a classic day in the life vlogggg!¡±


    The brawny Scotsman punctuated the sentence with a wink and a lone finger gun as they continued.


    ¡°Now I know what y¡¯all gonna be think¡¯in! What did you do with Li! Eir the only reason I¡¯m even watching your OnlyFans Charlie! And ya know what, that¡¯s fair ¨C Li is the greatest. But the thing is me and Li had a hell of a battle getting the WiFi back up today. It was a tale of love, violence & Error Lights, buuuuut whilst ey did save me, Li got pretty clawed up, so eir in bed resting. AND SO INSTEAD ITS VLOG TIME!¡±


    He stopped the recording and perused the selection of assorted cameras memory sticks, and tripods in the office. After he checked the weather (a warm dry breeze blowing in from the north of the street), and the drift (light and almost earth normal) they elected to take a shoulder mounted facecam.


    Upsides: High-quality audio-visual quality and low levels of camara shake.


    Downsides: Required a shirt to prevent chaffing.


    He paused for a second, looking around the office for a spare shirt and sure enough found one neatly folded by the keyboard, a curious wireframe statue of a bull placed atop it. Intrigued Charlie kept glancing back at the statue as he shrugged on the fluorescent shirt and shoulder brace. Camera setup prepped they drop the curious little statue into their pocket and exit onto the street.


    He took a second to figure out which way to go, white cliffs left and up so Biz¡¯s lab must be to the right and began to jog down the street. As he fell into a steady gait, he turned the camara on and continued his vlog.


    ¡°Rightoh saucy people, today I¡¯m givin¡¯ our local chemist Biz a hand ¨C Now I¡¯m 90% sure that ya¡¯ll have not met Biz before, but Biz is a crackin¡¯ person. An, er, absolute genius, but, ah, less exciting than Red if you get me, always on about safety and such like. ¨C Oh speak of the devil, there¡¯s Red now! HEY RED¡±


    Charlie paused to wave enthusiastically at Red as they dashed past him, a smouldering box tucked under one arm. She waved back in vague acknowledgement as she passed, weary determination in her every uneven step as she struggled home with her slightly scorched parcel.


    As was traditional Charlie attempted to make conversation with them as they passed but was only able to make out the words ¡°Need Sleep¡±. Excited to show his friend, Charlie pulled out the little figure of a bull that he''d found with his shirt to show her, but before he was able to re-establish conversation, Red made her unsteady escape and passed into the distance.


    In a desperate attempt to cover his embarrassment Charlie examined the upheld figure more closely, rotating it in the hazy light of the midday suns. The wireframe figure looked incredibly fragile, silver filigree wires delicately following the curves of the bull¡¯s form, and yet it had withstood the violence of the run with ease, its elegant form unbent and unmarred by the travel.


    Proud of his spouse¡¯s work he held the bull up in front of the camera and resumed his recording.


    "Still on my way, but I just realised that I''d not actually shown you this thing yet!


    So I found this with my shirt, and I''m assuming that Li made it for me or maybe ey bought it? Either way look at how awesome it looks! "


    The creature caught the light of the suns as he held it up, flickering blue and red as he rotated it.


    "But yeah, figured you''d appreciate that, next stop Biz''s lab, you know what why don¡¯t y¡¯all come with me I¡¯ll give you a bit of an update on today¡¯s events."


    Charlie put the tiny bull back in his pocket and chatted away as he jogged, his words tracing an erratic and semi accurate outline of the day¡¯s events to their viewers as he made his way to the lab. The Lab, Biz''s lab, was a particularly out of place building, it''s off-white cubism a stark contrast to the ancient Edwardian architecture typically arrayed to either side.


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    The lab had been a real boon to the street when it first appeared. A modern medical facility jam packed full of state-of-the-art equipment that had materialised during a particularly vicious stretch of drift. Of course, that was a few years ago and whilst Biz had kept safety a key feature of xyr new jury-rigged devices Charlie couldn¡¯t help but wonder at their effectiveness. But Biz insisted that it all did approximately the job required, and besides it was hardly Charlie¡¯s place to comment on the safety of complex chemical equipment.


    Charlie approached the door and rattled out the secret knock he had learned from Sai: tap-tap-tap, pause, tap-knock, pause, tap-tap. Silence hung around Charlie for a few tense moments as the noise echoed through the corridor behind the door to be answered by the sound of shattered glass and muffled swearing.


    The swearing cut off abruptly, replaced by the rhythmic click of high heeled boots as the person within moved towards the entrance door. A heavy thunk signalled the doors opening as Biz stepped through and glowered down at Charlie, gaze heavy with irritation.


    ¡°Where the hell have you been Charlie, this shit needed picking up hours ago.¡±


    Biz paused as xe noticed the camera brace strapped to Charlie¡¯s shoulder and without asking stepped forward and snatched the camera off of its mount.


    ¡°Oh for fucks sakes, you¡¯re streaming? Fine, fine whatever.¡±


    Biz took a deep calming breath and smoothed down the worn fabric of xyr lab coat as xe addressed the camera directly.


    ¡°Greetings electronic invaders into my daily life, I want you to know that I have no desire for you to be here right now, distracting Charlie and I from the transportation of vital medical supplies for the other denizens of the street.¡±


    ¡°My name is Bismuth or ¡®Biz¡¯ for short, and I use a variety of pronouns depending on the fluidity of my gender on any given day; including He/She, She/her, He/Him, They/Them and Xe/Xem. If you are unaware of the correct pronouns to use on a specific day you will need to use Xe/Xem as a default, otherwise consult my badge.¡±


    Biz tapped a finger against the faded metal badge embossed with ¡°Xe/Xem¡± and continued.


    ¡°And before anyone asks, no I am not a reformed meth dealer. I am a trained scientist and the first black nonbinary person to win a noble prize. Before I got trapped on this damn street my specialty was biochemistry and the synthesisation of estrogen, testosterone and progesterone specifically.¡±


    Charlie took the camera back gingerly and carefully stepped back to give Biz some space.


    ¡°Err, its actually for a vlog rather than a stream¡­ Y¡¯all right buddy?¡±


    Biz shrugged and gestured for them to come inside.


    ¡°Yeah, sorry Charlie I am just a little bit stressed ¨C today would have been¡­ You know what it does not matter, just come give me a hand with all this stuff ¨C you can stream or vlog or whatever whilst we do it, but I am doubtful that it will make for good content.¡±


    Charlie followed as Biz lead him through the building, through the tiled and dusty reception and into the meticulously polished and sterile workspace beyond.


    The room itself was a familiar masterpiece of mad science a complex array of vials and tubes carefully constructed to filter and condense exotic compounds into the medicinal supplies the street required. Familiar with one exception: off to one side, amongst a nest of cables and screen read outs was a new item, an open topped cage of copper mesh which held within it a tiny wire frame statue of a raven.


    ¡°Oh hey, I didn¡¯t know Li made you one of those too!¡±


    Biz brow furrowed as xe turned back from the stack of boxes.


    ¡°What?¡±


    Charlie waved at the copper cage.


    ¡°You know this cute little statue! Li made me one too! Why is yours in a cage?¡±


    They pulled the matching bull statuette from his pocket and waved it at the confused chemist. At the sight Biz recoiled away from the oblivious Scotsman.


    ¡°Where did you get that, was that thing IN YOUR POCKET?!?!? For fucks sake put it in the cage before you kill us both!¡±


    Confused, but appealing to the higher scientific authority Charlie threw the bull into the copper box. As it landed, it connected with the raven and the resulting explosion of light and air that burst from the two statues knocked Charlie and Biz onto the floor.


    The crumpled pair shared a look as the light faded to reveal a glowing vortex of swirling silver threads suspended a few centimetres from the cage bottom. After a moment Biz cleared xyr throat and pulled xemself up from the ground. Then paused for a second clearly pulling xemself together as xe brushed xyr coat clean.


    ¡°Charlie, could you be a dear and deliver this package to Red please? And could you maybe tell her what happened here? I feel that this¡­¡± Xe gestured at the still glowing vortex of metal within the copper cage. ¡°¡­may require more than just my skills.¡±


    ¡°Er yeah, sure thing buddy. I¡¯ll tell her you have a weird silver fireball in a cage, good luck with the science-ing I guess?¡±


    Charlie picked up the required boxes and cautiously backed out of the room as Biz began to mutter to xemself. After a moment they were out on the street secure in the knowledge that the weird science phenomena had been left to those better equipped to deal with it.


    The route to Red¡¯s fell away quickly, the image of the exploded statues pushing away all thoughts of vloging as they knocked on Red¡¯s door.


    Red looked exhausted, their hair stuck out at odd angles and deep dark bags under her worried eyes. As Charlie explained the incident, she nodded along growing more agitated as the day¡¯s adventures were laid out before her.


    As the story concluded and it became clear that no one was in immediate danger fatigue took over and she mumbled something about ¡°sorting it after I have a nap¡± before she gently ushered charlie away from the door and closed it in his face.


    At this point Charlie checked his camara, amused to find it had managed to record the entire interaction and pondered how he would make good vlog content from it. They smiled to himself; it was a problem he could solve easily enough.


    Hopefully Red and Biz would find the mysterious silver vortex just as simple.


    <hr>

 1.5 Biz and the Silver Vortex

    Biz tapped a pencil on the table and tried to get a proper grasp on the situation.


    Charlie had left to get Red, that was simple enough. But the lab was also currently lit by a flickering vortex of energy, which was considerably less so. That was complex and messy and hard to understand. Biz was left feeling very much alone, and given the date, was not feeling particularly up to the task.


    As Biz took a mental inventory, they felt things shift and reached into a pocket swapping out the xe/xyr badge for a they/them with practiced ease.


    They flinched and glared at the spinning vortex as it spat fresh arcs of electricity at the cage around it. After a moment more thought they decided like any good Brit that the best decision was to make a cup of tea and have a good old think about it.


    Their hands ran on instinct as they moved around the kitchen, boiling the water and adding the lemon substitute between concerned glances at the vortex. Drink made they moved to the foyer and sat bat facing the flickering shadows as they took careful sips of earl grey and waited for Red to arrive. Their eyes glazed over as their thoughts fell back into a familiar pattern and they pondered past moments, the series of life events which had led them to this point.


    A decision to visit the lovely cottage in the North Yorkshire Moors, to prepare a surprise for their wife. A quaint hilltop cottage that had snatched them from their reality, dropping both them and it on the corner of a street that defied the laws of physics.


    No way home, no way back to her, no way even to send a message. Seven years of staring at ancient photos on a worn-out mobile phone. Seven years of wondering if people were actually "taken" or if they were copied. Seven years of wondering if the love of their life thought they had left her one day, left without so much a word ¨C just vanishing into the night. Seven years of wondering if the Biz that was them, was even the real Biz at all.


    Seven years of worry to the day, or well seven years as far as they could track time in this awful place anyway. Biz grimaced into their tea as the familiar thoughts cycled endlessly through their mind. They definitely needed something to distract themselves whilst they waited for Red to arrive.


    Determined, they looked around for distractions and caught sight of the faded, note-covered map in the reception. Marked with Biz¡¯s spidery cursive the map was on the one place where Biz, at Red¡¯s insistence, had labelled and updated the changes they had made to the lab¡¯s layout.


    Biz grumbled to themself, a map wasn¡¯t going to be enough today, they needed the real physicality of walking, of seeing the progress they had made over the last seven years on the street. The proof that there was meaning to the madness of the life they were stuck in.


    The first room on their impromptu tour was charitably known as the stasis chamber, a ¡°machine¡± that consisted of a tarp and two doors held open by a pully and a long chain. As Biz watched from the corridor the furthest door began to swing shut yanking open the second door a fraction of a second before the prior closed.


    As they watched the simple contraption cycle the two doors open Biz couldn¡¯t help but wonder about the other people on the street. Not a one of them interested in replicating the simple feat that kept the lab perpetually anchored to the same patch of street. To their shame, Biz¡¯s simple explanation of how the street worked had fallen on deaf ears. Why people preferred the inconsistency of navigating by shadows in the sky to the simple joy of certainty Biz was never quite able to understand.


    And yet, the next room they visited was a testament to that same chaotic spirit. The complicated, ugly machine as much within the room as a part of it. Floor to ceiling the walls were covered with axles, chains, gears, and magnets each turning in a constant crunch of motion. At its centre was the unifying point, partially disassembled car engines, bolted to the exposed concrete of the laboratory floor.


    The engines billowed black plumes of smoke as the bubbling vat drained through the rattling machinery. The smell was uniquely vile, the cloying tang of cooking oil blended into the raw, rough metallic stench of well-greased pistons all underplayed by the faint scent of cheap perfume and cigar smoke which lingered as an immutable reminder of its original owner.


    There was not much to consider about the monstrous mechanical device, copied whole cloth from an online ¡°prepper guide¡±, Biz was only vaguely aware of how the damn thing worked.


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    ¡°Oil makes the engine move, that makes the axles spin the magnets and that generated the current?¡± That sounded right to them, but it was hard to tell if that was correct since the design had been copied from a now long defunct web forum. Regardless, it worked well enough and kept the more sophisticated parts of the lab powered and ready for use.


    They loitered for a while in the engine room, letting the sounds and smells of the machines wash over them in a great sensory tide. As they stood, Biz felt their years old worries begin to slip away, the old hurts and well-trod anxieties overwhelmed as the sound and stench obliterated any sense of self, time, or place.


    Biz stayed for as long as they were able, till their head thrummed endlessly with vibrations and their throat gagged against the thick greasy air. When they finally passed their limit, they stumbled out, dry heaving and physically drained, but mentally refreshed and almost ready to interact with Red.


    Biz was sat once more in the reception sipping a second cup of tea when Red pushed open the door to the reception. They placed the chipped mug to one side as Red wandered in, a book filled satchel dragged along the floor behind her. They waved at Biz and slumped further into the room eyes scanning the area as she made note of the few minor changes to the layout. As expected, she pulled a green backed notebook from the pocket of their waistcoat and made a note of the changes, changes that Biz knew would make their way onto her map of the lab before the day was out.


    Finished with her note taking, they turned and addressed her host properly.


    ¡°Hey Bismuth! Charlie popped by and said you have a Glowing Silver Light Vortex you want some help with?¡±


    She gestured at the periodic flashes of light that outlined the door to the lab.


    ¡°I take it it¡¯s in there?¡±


    Biz nodded and held the door open for her. She began to move around them and then stopped dead and twisted to examine Biz, nose twitching as they sniffed the air around them. She grimaced as she caught the pungent smell of petrol fumes on Biz¡¯s breath and in an instant their bulky bag was dropped, forgotten as she turned a concerned frowning face towards her friend.


    "Bismuth why do you smell of sadness? What happened to drive you into that dark dank room for so long?


    Tell me what''s going on. You know it''ll help if you explain it or vent a bit! We can map out your feelings, look I have my workbook right here!"


    She pulled a blue backed notepad from the bulky bag and dropped into a cross legged sitting position before Biz and stared up unblinking as she checked their face for signs of stress.


    Biz sighed exasperated as they recognised the exact behaviour they had hoped to avoid. Defeated they nodded at the concerned women, and she grinned childlike as they pulled a pencil out of her frizzy ginger hair, poised and ready to take notes.


    ¡°Okay, well don¡¯t miss anything out ¨C We need to get a full map for you!


    Resigned to their fate they joined her on the floor so to at least see what was being written in the notepad as they began to talk through the events of the day. They talked of Biz¡¯s morning, and the discovery of the mysterious silver statue in their bedroom. Of the first wave of tests and the panic that followed them. They talked of Charlies visit and how things had gone from bad to worse. Of the lethal silver vortex Charlie had created and of Biz¡¯s depressive spiral after he left. They didn¡¯t talk of the cause or content of the spiral. There was no need when Biz¡¯s sad history was already so well mapped out in the blue backed notepad.


    ¡°and then we were here.¡± Biz finished, standing, and stretching as Red completed the last of her encoded note taking. Feeling better despite themself Biz ventured a return to the reason for Red¡¯s visit.


    ¡°Well Red, do you wish to see the scientific phenomena that you came here for?¡±


    She was up and across the room before Biz could even blink and Biz watched as she made their way around the machine, a purplish book suddenly held in one hand as she sketched a rough diagram of the metallic cage. They circled again humming and muttering at the design as she marked off points on the diagram.


    "Why you got all these inefficiencies Bismuth?"


    She pointed at a few recent additions to the cage including the not unimportant cable that grounded the errant electricity arcing from the vortex.


    Biz grimaced. "Literally every single thing you just pointed at is a safety feature that I added in to stop this vortex of energetic matter destroying my laboratory."


    She stared back at Biz blankly, and Biz realised they should have tried a different approach.


    ¡°The safety features stop me being incredibly stressed?¡±


    A thoughtful smile crept across their face, and she took a step back slashing through the previous notes and redrawing her plans in a frantic a blur of sharp hand motions. In seconds they had a rough suggestion drawn and held up to with a few centimetres of Biz¡¯s face.


    ¡°We should do this! See, we can have your ¡®safety features¡¯ be actually useful! This thing is putting out enormous amount of energy. With the right mapping and power distribution we could even make it replace that relic that you call an engine room!¡±


    Biz considered the diagram for a second, a simple elegant design utterly divorced from the reality of the dangerous phenomena besides them, and yet inexplicably viable and even quite useful. Biz weighed it up for a moment longer, but ultimately Red¡¯s bouncing enthusiasm won out, and Biz found themself grinning ear to ear as helped draw up a more detailed plan.


    As they worked together Biz began to hum to themselves softly - maybe, just maybe the two of them would be able to create something truly revolutionary once again.

 1.6 Red Enters the Blurred Void

    Red awoke with a start, ABBA¡¯s ¡°Knowing Me Knowing You¡± echoing discordantly through Bismuth¡¯s lab as Red pulled themself off the smooth tiled floor. For a few moments she was horribly disorientated, the dim flickering light and reverberating noise overloaded their waking senses.


    They had stayed up late into the night, first to argue with Bismuth over the sacrifice of 50% efficiency just to remove a 0.0001% failure chance, and then having subsequently lost said argument to enjoy the quiet solitary calm of mapping the subtle oscillations of the vortex after xe had headed to bed.


    Red¡¯s head thrummed with pain as she assessed the stack of loose drawings that they had spent the moonlit hours sketching out. The multiple diagrams an attempt to solve a problem that was at odds with her need to map things out accurately.


    Ultimately the problem was the vortex, which (more so than even the street itself) was a warped bit of physics; the geometry broken in ways a human eye could barely follow. As Red had watched, the light had fractured, twisted, shattered, and recombined each, state lasting a fraction of a second before changing fundamentally. A new shifted version visible before Red had finished tracing the prior.


    All in all, it had been an engrossing challenge capable of catching Red¡¯s attention in its entirety. Completely engrossed the hours had raced by until she had passed out from exhaustion, sleeping on the cold floor of the lab till she awoke hours later.


    She picked her phone out of her pocket as it began a second rendition of Al¡¯s caller tone and answered with a grimace as the cool cracked glass pressed against her bruised face.


    ¡°Hiya buddy! How are you doing tonight!¡±


    There was a notable pause from the other end of the line as Al processed the cheerful obliviousness in Red¡¯s voice before it responded.


    ¡°Well Red, I was planning on meeting up with a friend of mine who had asked me to build her a suit capable of going into a vacuum, but for some reason she appears to have not bothered showing up. So, I guess I¡¯m just going help myself to some snacks in their house instead.¡±


    Red covertly opened the calendar on their phone and confirmed that they were indeed the person who was meant be meeting with Al.


    ¡°Oh, ah shit. I¡¯ll head right to you! ¨C I just need to collect up these new maps!¡±


    She grabbed her assorted notepads and packed them away slotting each into the bag in-order before cramming last night¡¯s twenty-centimetre-thick wedge of sketches into the ¡°pending collation¡± pocket of the bag.


    Her eyes swept the room one last time as they slung the bag over one shoulder and stealthily made her way through the reception area.


    As they made her way to the door, they saw it, the sinister warping darkness behind the glass panes of the reception window. The ever-present space behind the walls of the street. The incomprehensible blurry darkness which had captured Red¡¯s imagination from the moment they saw it. Was it a physical space, an endless void? Could it be mapped with star charts and gravity topography diagrams? Initial tests had proven inconclusive.


    But Red hoped so, anything that could be mapped could be understood, and anything that could be understood was safe. Currently behind every window was an unknown, a question with no answer unmapped and dangerous. But not after tonight, tonight Red and Al would alleviate that danger, take the first steps towards complete knowledge by exploring the oxygen deprived void behind the street.


    But first, they needed to meet up with Al. With that thought she stepped out into the street and for a moment she stood in the midnight twilight outside the lab, and they considered the sky. Most people she knew just picked a single marker from the twilight sky to follow, but not Red.


    Red took the time to study the sky assessing the location of the eleven key points intrinsically linked the topography of the street. Of course, you could find your way around the street with a single point of reference, but only in a vague, imprecise, and deeply unsatisfying way.


    For Red, the safety of precision was a requirement they had refined down to an exact science, merely taking a few minutes of analysis and study. Tonight, the sky indicated that the street was in a lesser variant of type Beta_16q, a particularly unstable configuration which she hoped to prove was linked to the appearance of new buildings on the street.


    Crucially they knew that it would take her exactly twenty-three minutes and twelve seconds to walk from Bismuth¡¯s lab to Red¡¯s quaint household. As she walked, they made mental note of the buildings on either side of the street, the aged shells on civilisation on the verge of collapse, sustained by forces Red lacked the tools to quantify.


    A few had been explored of course, the type-A ones which seemed to have safe physics gradually picked clean by Charlie and Sai on their endless quest for extra-universal media. It was curious what those two were willing to risk their lives for. But, as per their blue backed notepads, regular adventure seemed to be a crucial part of the duo¡¯s mental health.


    As expected 23 minutes later Red arrived at her front door, the familiar plastic painted a vivid scarlet in defiance of the once-rental property. With effort she resisted the perverse urge to knock and instead pushed open the door in search of the irritated enby within.


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    It was not hard to find, Al sat in the dining room, its worn trainers propped up against the table as it scrolled idly on its phone. As Red entered it didn¡¯t move, oblivious as it perused the endless memes the internet provided.


    Uninformed of her friend¡¯s ignorance Red moved into the room and swung her heavy bag onto the table with an enormous THUNK. At which Al shrieked and fell out of its chair.


    Fortunately, it recovered quickly, and jammed its phone into its jeans as it pulled itself off the floor to greet them.


    ¡°Oh hi Red, so nice of you meet me here and so nice of you to be so punctual. You only left me wait for, ooh, almost three hours this time, which I suppose is technically an improvement....¡±


    Red stood stock still, staring at Al¡¯s face as they tried to figure out if it was joking or genuinely upset with her. A few tense seconds of processing later she relaxed as they realised that the look on its face was of mild amusement rather than genuine annoyance.


    Al smiled back at them confirming her assessment and gestured nonchalantly at the pile of thick shiny material laid out on the table.


    ¡°As requested, one airtight vacuum suit sewn from a delightful heat resistant plastic weave, complete with rubber inner seals and assorted harness points to make sure you don¡¯t float adrift.¡±


    Al reached over and pointed at the various hooks and harness points on the suit, before continuing.


    ¡°Obviously the suit is made to the measurements you sent me, and I took the liberty of adding a few extra pockets for your notepads and pens as well as giving the shoes and gloves a rough outer lining so you can hopefully get a grip on whatever¡¯s out there.¡±


    Red pulled out an iridescent notepad and flicked to the first page as she examined the suit, each join and stitch was as she had requested. Ever button, seam and pocket placed perfectly in line, it was exactly as she had sketched out with only Al¡¯s thoughtful additions missing from the sketched design.


    A few quick motions of a pen later and the differences were added, leaving Red with a perfect diagram of the newly made suit. A suit she knew every centimetre of. A piece of equipment they could unequivocally trust. After a final examination, she turned away from the suit and back towards the awaiting Al.


    ¡°It¡¯s perfect Al, you really have outdone yourself!¡±


    Al nodded back, suddenly awkward it never-the-less managed to stutter back a response.


    ¡°Ah, well not quite. But.. Yeah its, its pretty good I think ¨C Err¡­so, you wanna give it a go tonight since I¡¯m here to help an all?¡±


    A thought struck Red as they nodded her agreement.


    "Have you really been waiting here for three hours?"


    Al shuffled its feet awkwardly.


    "Well, no¡­ not as such. I mean, you have literally never been less that two hours late to meet me, so I just left late and phoned when you arrived, so I really just waited the half hour it took you to get here. "


    "You mean the 23 mins"


    Al wore a look that Red was 90% sure was confusion so they clarified.


    "The walk from the lab to my house when the street is in configuration Beta_16q is exactly 23mins and 12 seconds not half an hour."


    Al shrugged at the clarification as Red rooted through her bag to find the notepad which covered Beta_16q, flipped it open to the seventh page and thrust it under Al¡¯s nose.


    "You see here, the street twists these two sections together and losses this bit and thus you get a 23min 12s walk. "


    Al nodded barely glancing at the notepad before responding.


    "Sure, I guess? Sounds good, now, did we have a specific window in mind? Which do you think would be a good jumping in point?¡±


    Red just grinned and beckoned the tailor upstairs.


    They led Al through to the second door on the left to reveal the chosen spot. Which was revealed to not be a window at all, but rather a great broken hole in the wall of the master bedroom. The room had been stripped of furniture and filled instead with sledgehammers, axes, saws, and the scattered rubble of the room¡¯s rear wall.


    Red glanced at Al as it shuddered at the sight of the un-shielded oily blackness of the far wall.


    ¡°Oh if you¡¯re cold this is the best place to be! The blurred void averages a temperature of forty degrees centigrade so it¡¯s actually rather warm!¡±


    Al grabbed her arm carefully, guiding the two of them out of the room and back into the hallway.


    ¡°You know what Red, whilst that sounds great. I think you should put the suit on before you show me anymore.¡±


    Red acquiesced, rapidly strapping the suit on over her shirt and coat tails as Al checked each seal was properly closed before handing Red the last piece. A scuba mask and tank modified to provide the oxygen Red would need for her exploration.


    Red smiled what she hoped was a confident, pleased smile and added a double thumbs up for added confirmation as they strode past Al and back into the dismantled room.


    She paused briefly to allow Al to hook the safety cable to the back of the suit and reluctantly agreed that she would tug the cable to signal if she was in danger or otherwise needed Al to pull them back out.


    Ground rules established Red moved across the destroyed room and stepped through the cracked wall, into the pulsating blurry darkness.


    The blurred void was warm, heavy, and completely absent of gravity. A clove scented darkness that roiled and clung to Red¡¯s suit as she pushed off drifting away from the shattered wall of her home.


    As the faint light of the room faded the reality struck her. She was stuck in a place without markers, a place of roiling mercurial darkness and a single slack cable trailing behind them.


    She had hoped to see things inside the darkness, some clue or thread which when pulled would unravel the mystery. Something. Anything which would make the darkness behind the street mappable.


    Instead, endless, near unmappable darkness paired with a creeping sense of dread. Panic tore through Red and they snapped her eyes shut and pulled sharply on the cable.


    She felt the slack cable tighten in response as it began to pull her back, speeding them through the darkness towards the well mapped familiarity of home.


    A stretched eternity later, she was back in the safety of the house. Their eyes able to take in the familiar, safe sight of the wrecked bedroom. Beyond that, grey faced and panting, was Al, fixated on the empty space behind Red.


    Red turned her head to follow its gaze towards the broken wall. To the place where the darkness of the blurred void had changed.


    The void rippled and spilled over the edge as Red and Al watched, each thin tendril crystalising into hair like strands of silver wire as it slid over the threshold.


    Red and Al shared a concerned look as the wires sparked and writhed amongst the rubble.


    It seemed the darkness of the Blurred Void was not as empty as everyone had assumed.

 2.0 Drift Quakes

    Al gleefully re-read its newest letter, the cheap paper of Her Majesty¡¯s Agents overshadowed by the pure joy manifested by the small plastic National Insurance card which had inexplicably made its way back via the fiery portal of the post office.


    Al¡¯s joy at being recognised was tinged with confusion however, when a quick google search had confirmed that like its own London, that London had discontinued the production of the cards sometime in 2011. Regardless, it was an excellent piece of official recognition and a massive step forward for Al¡¯s online store. With luck within a few short weeks, it would be back into the rhythm of regular dressmaking and tailoring through the wonder of online consultation and video calls.


    Not that it hadn¡¯t enjoyed working on Red¡¯s suit, but a technical challenge with no aesthetics requirements could only bring so much joy to a creative mind. Still, it had been an excuse to pull out the tailoring dummy and re-sharpen its skills before the online shop opened.


    Unfortunately, such fun had come with a price, and the usually tidy living room had been strewn with coarse thread, tools, and thick fabric; primarily the bits that had arrived too burnt to use and had needed to be trimmed for fear of integrity failure.


    It sighed as it viewed the mess, an enormous task that it had spent the last day thoroughly ignoring. Still if it was to get back into business the first thing Al needed to do was get properly setup and ready to work before commissions started rolling in.


    As Al pondered this irritating thought, its phone vibrated in its pocket. Happy for the distraction, Al pulled it out and checked what had triggered the notification.


    It was a text message from Red which simply stated: Drift Quake inbound ETA 10.6s.


    Al, stared at its phone in confusion.


    ¡°What on earth is a drift qu..¡±


    Its musing was cut off as the room shook abruptly causing Al to bite down hard on its tongue.


    ~~Meanwhile in the merry chaos of Sai¡¯s Living room~~


    Sai considered the ruined painting before them as the initial quake faded, ignoring the periodic buzzing of their mobile as they took stock of the artistic disaster.


    They put the brush to one side as they leaned in closer. Was the canvas repairable where it had stabbed through?


    Upon close examination of the ragged hole, it seemed unlikely, however maybe it was salvageable with some re-branding.


    Sai took a step back and positioned their hands to frame the picture as they put on their best sales pitch voice:


    ¡°I call this ¡­. A real crap painting with a hole in it? Hmm, no that doesn¡¯t work ¨C It needs more pazaz.¡±


    ¡°I call this.... A metaphor for angst..? - too pretentious¡±


    ¡°I call this¡­ Sai¡¯s attempt to sell garbage to idiots?¡±


    Sai snorted as they considered the mental image of that name embossed on a glossy museum plaque next to the painting.


    ¡°I think even Red would think that¡¯s too on the nose.¡±


    Unable to think of an appropriate name Sai stopped trying and instead considered the canvas, taking in the full extent of the damage and its impact on the nearly complete painting as they stepped around the detritus at the perimeter of the room. Was there a way to tie the new hole into the image they had been painting?


    The rent was just above the horizon of the painting, a shadowy outline of the street as it had been the first time Sai had stepped out through their door and into their new, weirder life. Maybe it could be painted like one of the rain filled portals that floated above the street, it was likely there had been one up there, even if Sai couldn¡¯t recall it.


    Or perhaps it would better suit as some kind of metaphor?


    They paused, as a new thought aligned perfectly with the sight of a polaroid photo peeking into view between the ripped edges of the painting.


    Multi-media art, the perfect solution!


    As they rushed over to grab the picture the street shook again, pitching the damp oil painting towards the floor as Sai sailed past the canvas into the wall.


    ~~Meanwhile in Li¡¯s Workshop~~


    Li braced emself against the workbench as the second quake shook the little workshop pausing to rub eir bad leg as shallow pain ran through it like an aftershock.


    Eir phone vibrated briefly as a message came in from Red, it seemed she had collated a list of the expected arrival times for each shock. The nanosecond precise timings weren''t particularly useful but knowing how many to expect was, so Li wasn¡¯t going to complain.


    Ey paused eir inspection of the broken rod before em as ey read through the list.


    "Five drift quakes? That is a lot more that we have had before, hmm must be something large. Well, I will find out soon enough, no point rushing out before it¡¯s safe."


    Thus decided, Li put all thoughts of drift quakes to one side and took stock of the progress ey had made so far.


    Fortunately, ey had managed to cut through the sticky black tape, the ugly mess that marked Sai¡¯s repair work, just before the quakes had started, and all that was left was just carefully separating the shards and seeing what, if anything was salvageable.


    After a quick examination Li discovered that the damage was well contained, limited to within a centimetre or so of the main breakpoint. With a practiced eye and knowledge drawn from years of impromptu repairs, Li made note of the necessary steps needed for the repair.


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    <ol>


    <li>Pull up shard</li>


    <li>Flatten Shard</li>


    <li>Glue down shard</li>


    <li>Repeat</li>


    </ol>


    Using a pair of tweezers from a well-placed toolbox, ey repeated the steps in quick succession, manoeuvring each shard to lay flat against the fibres beneath and holding it in place with the tiniest application of glue. As ey waited for each spot of glue to dry, Li checked eir phone, conscious of the time as the next shock creeped closer.


    Fortunately, Li was well practiced in this kind of impromptu repair work. Each day brought em a new breakage to be repaired without the correct tools or materials. Frankly by comparison the rebuilding of a fishing rod, a task which Sai had asked of em a dozen or so time prior had been easy and Li managed to place the repaired rod on a safe shelf moments before the next quake shook the street.


    ~~Meanwhile out on the street proper~~


    Common sense dictated, that it was foolish and dangerous to be out on the street when a drift quake hit, but Charlie had already been out jogging and really how bad could it be. Besides, there had already been three quakes, so the worst was for sure behind them.


    No sign of the new building along his route, but he was almost at the post office now anyway so maybe they¡¯d see it on the way back. For now his focus was on the post office, it''s pearlescent spender waiting to deliver charlie their most recent eBay purchase.


    Charlie picked up the pace as they approached, ordering items to be delivered to the street was not without risk and he¡¯d be damned if he arrived just to see it smash on the ground from a distance. The glowing portals tendency to violently vomit parcels out onto the street did nothing to improve the integrity of parcels which had already suffered through both the intense heat of interdimensional travel and the chaos that was the London postage network.


    To that end, most just ordered sturdy items, but not Charlie. Keen as they were to have delicate props for their video shoots Charlie instead paid for tracking and waited poised by the post office portal for his parcels to arrive.


    Despite the quakes that had been shaking the street, today¡¯s delivery was no exception and Charlie stopped a few meters away pulling loose a worn quilt to hold between outstretched arms when the time came; ready to cushion and catch the projectile post.


    Charlie checked his phone swiping away the new message notifications as they re-opened the tracking app. He¡¯d never found Postal Tracking to be that accurate at the best of times so even with the parcel tracking app his process involved quite a degree of guesswork.


    That said, the app currently showed a last location of the east London postage distribution centre and a current location of ¡°ERROR¡± which as far as Charlie¡¯s experience was concerned meant the packages¡¯ arrival was imminent.


    Sure enough, the post office began to tremble and warp, vibrating like a hive of angry wasps as it processed the parcels entry through it, the melted wrapping tape barely visible amongst the shifting colours.


    For a split second the parcel hung in the air surrounded by the smoky effervescence of its arrival. As it hung, the label Charlie Tan ¨C The Tan Household, Queer Steet, London was visible for a split second, and then the inertia broke, and the parcel snapped towards the well-padded arms of the awaiting Charlie.


    Parcel acquired, Charlie set it down carefully and looked around for the new building once more ¨C Instead he was thrown to the ground as a fourth quake shook the street, and for a moment an enormous shadow outline was visible, superimposed over the skyline.


    Charlie stared into the middle distance as the afterimage faded and their eyes readjusted.


    Surely not? Surely, he¡¯d seen wrong? A trick of the eye trying to register an office building or house?


    Surely, they hadn¡¯t seen a castle approaching?


    ~~Meanwhile in Biz¡¯s Lab:- The Stasis Chamber~~


    With a grimace Biz disabled the double doors of the stasis chamber, pushing them shut before the last quake shut. Xe had no for sure answer on what would happen if the new building appeared and xyr lab was unable to move around the street to avoid it, but Red¡¯s simulations had revealed some harrowing possibilities


    The last time she had run Biz through them she had stated with giddy excitement that there was a point zero one percent chance that the two buildings would end up occupying the same physical space. Something which according to a follow up simulation would essentially fuse both buildings into an enormous bomb.


    ¡°Far to risky.¡± Xe muttered to xemself ¨C Just as with the vortex, low probability was a poor excuse to risk the total annihilation of the street.


    Not that Biz cared about the street specifically, but not liking the street was not the same as wanting a nuclear explosion to happen on it ¨C especially when you were one of the idiots trapped there.


    Reasoning established, Biz kicked the door shut firmly, the stiletto point of xyr heel rendering a less violent movement all but useless.


    It had been a while since Biz had dressed up. ¡°Dressed to the nines¡± as xyr father would have said and xe was already regretting the choice to wear xyr stilettos, especially when in all likelihood there wouldn¡¯t even be anyone new to appreciate the effort.


    Xe inspected xemself in the well-polished steel of the table, already regretting the punk-glam look xe had gone for.


    Sure, the shaved, polished head was a great look and it matched xyr gold hoop earrings well, but the sparkly black dress? The torn, patched and re-stitched punked prom dress? Well, in hindsight it gave off major midlife crisis vibes.


    As they looked at xemself in the reflection again, xe realised the problem. Xe¡¯d not gone far enough, punk after all was about commitment, about not caring what the world thought.


    Xe immediately knew how to pull it together and grabbed xyr lab coat, heeled boots and measurement tools as the fifth and final quake shook the lab.


    ~~Meanwhile in the note strewn squalor of Reds bedroom~~


    Red checked and rechecked their notes as she searched for inconsistencies or errors in their mapping. The new building was large for sure, but even so her calculations confirmed that that had been the last quake.


    They¡¯d spent the morning considering what might appear. What building was making entry onto the street ¨C an object so impactful as to shake the world five times over would require extensive adjustments to the current maps before the street was a safe predictable place once more.


    She¡¯d made a map of the probabilities of course, prepared themself as much as was possible ahead of time, despite their uncertainty on the specifics.


    But now, with the last quake over the building would be there, a new entry to the street, and potentially a new person (or two!) to map the emotional spectrum of.


    She braced herself and a pulled open the door to see the new street configuration.


    The street, of course looked much the same, an erratic miss-mash of buildings with nothing new in sight.


    Red looked up at the sky and frowned as she examined it, cross-referencing the configuration of silhouettes against the rough adjustments scrawled in the margins of her notebook.


    It was a new pattern as expected, but familiar, and it was probable that the new building would be ten or so minutes to the left. Anxious and uncertain, she set off at a steady pace towards where she hoped the building would be.


    To their relief Red arrived to find Sai, Al, Charlie, Li, and Bismuth already there, the familiar group a calming presence despite the uncertainty of the new building.


    Charlie waved Red over as they spotted her and gestured excitedly at the medieval keep behind the group.


    ¡°Well, I don¡¯ know about you Red, but I didn¡¯t expect this! - This is SO COOL, we are takin¡¯ bets on where it¡¯s from, I¡¯m thinkin Norwegian!¡±


    Red frowned. ¡°Well, it doesn¡¯t really matter what country it¡¯s from, what I really need to know is what the physical constants are, are they consistent with what else is on the street? Broadly speaking is it from a type A earth or a type B earth?¡±


    Charlie stared back blankly and re-adjusted the parcel under their arm as they started to respond only to be cut off by his spouse as Li limped over to join them.


    ¡°Biz says it¡¯s a type A-6? Which means err safe ish right?¡± Ey glance back at Bismuth who shrugged noncommittally and continued sweeping xyr tools across the stone wall.


    Red smiled and scribbled the designation into her notebook, carefully circling the dangerous, unmapped building. Type A-6. Despite the new data, the keep still felt unsafe, dangerous somehow, more so than any other on the street.


    It felt wrong, oily, like the darkness behind the street. Dark, and alive? She tried to shake the irrational thought, but it refused to budge.


    Sai¡¯s panicked voice cut through her thoughts as she tried to push the feeling back.


    ¡°Everyone, EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOUR DOING ¨C Can anyone see Al?!?¡±

 2.1 Al and the Spider

    Al had frozen when the thing approached.


    Stayed still and silent as the horrifying many legged being dragged it back through the door of the castle as its friends looked away, distracted by the arrival of Red.


    Into the castle Al was dragged, silently and unseen, taken by a spider thing, and left with it in a dusty candle lit room.


    But it would be fine, Al had a method of dealing with spiders. A method that had worked for years.


    A simple process: Scream, then throw a shoe at it.


    Al¡¯s frozen brain stared in horror at the 3-meter behemoth in front of it, screamed and threw its trainer at the multi-limbed behemoth.


    The spider cocked its head as the shoe bounced off its shimmering black skin and a deep creaking voice rang through the room in response. The spider¡¯s inky maw twisted into a rough approximation of a mouth as it began to speak.


    ¡°What did you think that was going to do little Al? Did you seek to slay me with a piece of poorly aimed footwear?¡±


    The voice echoed around the room, filled to the brim with perverse amusement as the spider began to chuckle.


    The motion was one Al had seen many times, a distinctly human reaction so drastically at odds with the creature¡¯s appearance that Al burst out laughing.


    ¡°I honestly have no idea ¨CI just panicked!¡± Al paused, painfully aware that it was talking to a giant sentient spider thing.


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you¡¯d be willing to give me back my shoe?¡± Al suggested nervously.


    A tense moment hung in the air for a second as Al tried to read any emotion in the creatures¡¯ eyes, and then a scraping noise as the spider pushed the shoe towards Al with a foreleg.


    Carefully Al pulled the shoe back on and focused on tying its laces as It spoke to its terrifying captor.


    ¡°So, err do you have a name? Or pronouns? You¡¯re the first spider person I have ever met so it¡¯s hard to know how to address you.¡±


    The creature cocked its head and looked past Al into the middle distance as it responded in the same creaking voice.


    ¡°You¡¯re the first to ask I think, or perhaps the first one I remember asking. But people call me spider, or monster, or It usually...¡±


    Al frowned; the tone of the phrase had caught upon its ear in a familiar way, and it responded without thinking.


    ¡°People call you? No, that¡¯s not how things work here ¨C we go by who you actually are, not what others say. Let me start.¡±


    Al paused and pushed back an idle thought, what happens to the enby who offends the giant spider and spoke frankly as it would have to any other person, desperately hoping the terror wouldn¡¯t show in its voice as Al attempted not to stutter.


    ¡°I for example am Al, which is a shortening of the name my mother gave me ¨C a name I want to use despite her wishes. I also use It/Its/Itself pronouns, not because people want to refer to me as a monster, but because It and its are the pronouns which fit best with my sense of self and identity. It/Its/itself are the pronouns I want people to use for me and no others.¡±


    The spidery thing swayed for a second as it digested Al¡¯s calm words and spoke again, a softer almost melancholy tone beneath its creaking voice.


    ¡°Once, long ago my mother named me Jack, a name for a king, she said. A name for he who would rule our world. No one has called me Jack in some time¡­ I think¡­ I think perhaps I am he who would like to be called Jack once again.¡±


    Al forced a wary smile as it ran through its options. Just pretend this giant spider, I mean Jack is just a customer. Put on a brave face and make a dialogue and find out what it, I mean he wants.


    Al turned back to Jack, forcing itself to adjust its prejudices and push down the primal fear that a giant spider inspired in a smaller enby.


    ¡°Well then Jack... Since it¡¯s clear that you¡¯re not a monster out to eat me¡­ I have to ask¡­. Are you aware of where you are? Because it¡¯s not your world. Wherever your world was, none of us are from here you, see? We just¡± Al waved its hands in a vague noncommittal gesture.


    ¡°Appeared.¡±


    On key a distant sound filled the room. The rhythmic thud of footsteps and screeching metal as someone or something dragged a metal object towards the doorway from the other side.


    The noises stopped at the door, the moment of silence followed by a rattling as the intruder tried the handle and the subsequent booming thud of metal on wood as they found it locked.


    Jack reacted instantly, retreating as a spider would to the upper corner of the dimly lit room. Lying in wait? Or perhaps just doing his best to hide from the Intruder.


    A second dull thump against the door and Al saw the rusty hinges beginning to give way. Panicked more by the sudden violence and already on edge from the strangely friendly Jack, it looked around frantically for a place to hide, and found in one corner, an ancient wooden wardrobe.


    Al gulped and pushed the wardrobe door open as the intruder¡¯s blow was answered by the squeal of failing metal, hide now, worry about the huge sentient spider later.


    The room rang with the blows as the intruder swung once, twice, thrice. Again, and again something heavy and metallic collided with the wood of the door. Each sluggish blow a force that warped and bent the hinges further out of shape.


    On the fifth blow the hinges gave out, and a figure stumbled in. They tripped as they entered, a loose metal pipe catching between their legs. In seconds Jack was upon them as he leaped from the ceiling in a blur of web and fangs, slashing at the off-balance intruder.


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    Al huddled in its cupboard and peeked out at the figure, all but unseen and buried beneath Jack''s enormous bulk. Al watched, unsure of what it could or should do, in such a situation.


    Before it could think to react, to help or to hinder, the sound of torn cloth and the jangle of coins filled the room as a pocket tore. Jack flinched and small metal disks of metal ricochet across the room towards Al¡¯s hiding spot. By reflex or luck, Al caught one as it hurtled towards the gap it peeked through.


    In the flickering light it turned the coin over in its hand. No, not a coin, but a badge embossed with the lettering ¡°She/Her¡±.


    Al¡¯s blood chilled and it burst from its hiding place, moving with speed born of desperation, it moved to tackle Jack as it yelled out.


    ¡°STOP!!!! JACK THIS A FRIEND, PLEASE DON¡¯T HURT XEM!¡±


    As Al collided with Jack the pair stopped, stunned, but unmoved as Al spoke breathlessly.


    ¡°Stop, stop, stop! This is all a misunderstanding, Biz, this is Jack ¨C pronouns he/Him! And Jack, this is Biz, Xyr pronouns are variable, but xe uses Xe/Xem most of the time!¡±


    The bloodied Biz pulled xemself to xyr feet, xyr alt punk dress torn to ribbons from Jacks attack and turned to look at Jack warily.


    ¡°The spider has a name and pronouns?¡± Xe asked Al, but it was Jack who responded, his low croaky voice filling the cool air.


    ¡°Yes, the spider does ¨C and the spider would like you to use them¡­.BIZ¡±.


    Biz flinched and snatched the lead pipe from the floor, wielding its blunted end towards the imposing Jack.


    ¡°It can speak?!?!¡±


    Jack emitted a thin hissing noise and moved a chitinous step toward Biz whilst Al mimed frantically for Biz to not antagonise the giant spider.


    Biz caught xemself, ¡°I mean he-you can speak? You, Jack can speak?!¡±


    Al nodded enthusiastically and motioned for Biz to continue.


    Biz, stammered onward. ¡°Okay, so Jack nice to meet you, err thanks for letting me know your pronouns, as Al said mine vary. Today I¡¯m actually she/her, you¡¯ll be able to tell in future based on the badge I¡¯m wearing¡± She tapped the torn fabric of her dress to find that her badge was missing.


    ¡°Well, when it¡¯s not been knocked loose anyway¡­.¡±.


    She looked around abruptly annoyed by the scattered badges around her and began to gather them up, carefully keeping her back to the wall as she circled the gigantic spider.


    The room was uneasily silent as she used the time to collect her thoughts, and Al let her, content to help gather the enamel badges whilst Jack watched from his perch on the upper side of the wall.


    Biz counted through the two piles and nodded, satisfied that none of the valuable badges were missing and re-pinned the ¡°She/Her¡± badge onto her dress as she slipped the remainder into one of her many pockets.


    As she pulled herself up, Al cleared its throat intent to interject before the awkward silence could reclaim the room.


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose anyone else fancies a cuppa? This has all been pretty stressful. Jack, I don¡¯t suppose there is any tea around here?¡±


    Jack responded immediately, his arachnid form projecting outrage as he responded in his croaking inhuman voice.


    ¡°Of course, I have tea! I could hardly consider myself an Englishman if I didn¡¯t have tea on hand for my guests now could I!


    Biz smiled and suppressed a laugh at the unexpected and quintessentially British response from the giant spider.


    Without further prompting, Jack moved past Biz and Al, skittering along the worn stone wall and out into the corridor, and paused briefly to motion for the duo to follow him.


    Al mused to itself as it and Biz took after Jack. He gave them an impromptu tour as they walked, pointed out the assorted bathrooms (or has he said ¡°water closets¡±), storage rooms and bedrooms. Al couldn¡¯t help but notice that the Keep was pristine and dust free despite the size, but when asked Jack just shrugged it off as ¡°simple enough¡±.


    They even passed an enormous library, thousands of pristine leather-bound books stretching from floor to ceiling. Charlie was going to have a field day when he saw this!


    Which reminded Al, it really should send everyone an update. They would be worried about Al and Biz by now. A quick text: ¡°Biz and I are safe, getting a tour from a giant sentient spider. Quiet friendly. ---NOT A JOKE¡±


    It noticed the typo moments after the text had been sent, but figured the meaning was obvious enough.


    Whilst Al had been typing, Jack had led them through the medical styled corridors, his fibrous feet leaving no trace of passage as they moved past polished armour and oil paintings of enormous spiders ¨C Jack''s family? Until eventually he led them in a large fire-lit kitchen.


    As Al and Biz sat on the uncomfortable wooden chairs arrayed about the place, the spider got to work. He scuttled from one side of the room to the other, extracting tea leaves from a clay jar on one shelf and placing them lovingly into a porcelain teapot from another.


    It was fascinating to watch as he wielded his legs like pliers, using them in pairs to grip and lift whilst his remaining legs maneuverer his bulk around the room.


    Al found Jack''s twitchy movements deeply unsettling, and it had to chid itself about the harsh judgments he had made. Jack, a spider just did things differently, and besides it was not like he could choose to be any less of a spider than he was even if he wanted to.


    A cast iron kettle out from a nook above the open fire and the contents poured into the kettle as Jack placed two cups and a shallow dish on the table.


    ¡°Do you have milk and sugar?¡±


    Al nodded and asked for 3 spoons of sugar, whilst Biz shrugged and suggested she would have the same. It was clear she would have preferred earl grey.


    In spite of, or perhaps because of this she shifted to a topic that had clearly been gnawing at her for some time, as Jack passed each of them the completed beverages.


    ¡°Well Jack, I can¡¯t help but notice everything here is very low tech, you don¡¯t have a single light that¡¯s not a candle or oil lamp! I mean, does this keep not have electricity at all?¡±


    Al looked around, and confirmed that as usual, Biz was right. Her sharp eyes had picked up on the key detail that Al had missed in its fascination with the archaic styling of the house


    Jack gave a creaky wheezing chuckle in response.


    ¡°Of course not, just because I am a spider doesn¡¯t mean I do such things! What do you take me for a necromancer?¡±


    Biz and Al laughed politely at the strange joke, but Jack, confused, twisted his head to face them.


    ¡°Why are you laughing, its necromancy is no laughing matter ¨C Are YOU necromancers? I hope not, that would be quite the disappointment to discover just as we are getting along so well. Such foul magic is a poor fit for ones so pure of intent.¡±


    Jack twitched his head and bright, burning light began to swirl throughout the room. As Al and Biz watched it paused suspended in mid-air as it coalesced into a great web of flames arrayed around them.


    Jack turned back to them; his tea forgotten as he looked at them with sad eyes.


    ¡°Tell me and I¡¯ll make it quick. Are you the necromancer Biz, or perhaps it is you, Al?¡±


    The cup slid out of Al¡¯s hand as its grip slackened.


    ¡°What the shit dude?? Magic¡¯s fucking REAL!?!¡±

 2.2 Sai Visits the Infinite Graveyard

    Here lies Sai da Silva.


    Born 23/08/1995.


    Died 30/12/2021.


    First of their name; Solicitor, Artist ¨C Friend.


    Sai grimaced as they finished reading the headstone; They hated this place in general, the endless rows of illegible tombstones fading into the distance, but more than that; Sai hated this spot specifically, an open grave marked with their name.


    They looked around at the rest of the row, it wasn¡¯t just their ready and waiting grave which made them uncomfortable, but the other plots around it.


    Five more open graves each marked with the name of a dear and living friend.


    Objectively Sai knew that dates on the graves didn¡¯t mean that they would die today. They knew objectively that the date of ¡°death¡± changed every day ticking up until it didn¡¯t.


    Honestly, when you really thought about it, it was essentially just an extraordinarily morbid calendar.


    Sai looked again at the row of six open graves, each ready and waiting for their would-be occupant¡¯s demise, and beyond them the real graves. The headstones those whose dates were static, plots filled and covered- Strangers and friends long gone.


    It was a strange place, the endless rows of graves trailing off into the distance - real people who had died on the street? Or an illusion to obfuscate how many people had died trapped here. The handful of names they recognised indicated that those who followed were less a trick of the street, and Sai had long ago settled on the uncomfortable belief that the graves instead marked the endless ranks of the unknown. Perhaps that was better, than if it had been a twisted illusion.


    They took a moment to visit the closed graves they recognised, the five names they never got to say goodbye to. They spoke aloud as they stood before the headstones, addressing one grave in particular as was their habit.


    Not that there was anyone in that particular plot, no bones turning to dust and mud beneath the coarse grey soil. No, not her. Sai smiled as they remembered how insistent she had been about her remains: ¡°Burn me¡± she had said, ¡°Burn me and scatter my ashes to the ocean- Let me adventure forever¡±. And she had been. Cremated and ritualistically passed into the glowing embrace of the street¡¯s saltwater portal. Adventuring in a world unknown ¨C but still Sai thought the tombstone was as good a place as any to talk to her.


    ¡°Well Mahi. I¡¯m back again. Quite a bit to update you on this time actually! To start with, I put a brush through my new painting when the new building appeared on the street! Quite a dramatic building too; a castle or a keep? Whichever it is, it¡¯s the biggest building I have seen since I arrived here.¡±


    Sai paused as an old memory resurfaced, interrupting the flow of their thoughts.


    ¡°Honestly, it reminds me of the stories you used to tell me. ¨C Though I never could find that church. More importantly though, there was a person who arrived, well-hmm¡­. Person might be the wrong word? He¡¯s a giant spider, quite a friendly one too and, err... Well, he can do magic. And I don¡¯t mean card tricks or the like, but actual factual magic with glowing runes and lights and the lot! Apparently, he scared the hell out of Al and Biz when he thought they were necromancers. Apparently, the poor guy thought that they were using electricity to raise the dead or something!¡±


    Sai shook their head as they realised how mad it all sounded, even for the street, magic spider was a stretch further than Sai was used too.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll make sense later, when Red has ¡®mapped the possibilities¡¯ and all.¡±


    A familiar grin broke through Sai¡¯s dour expression as they imagined what the endearingly neurodivergent physicist would be doing.


    ¡°Most likely she is up to her navel in craft paper and red string by this point! Assuming she hasn¡¯t torn another hole through to the void! ¨C drat, I should tell you about that too really, but I¡¯m afraid it¡¯ll have to wait. Sorry Mahi, much as I love our chats, I¡¯m not just here for you today.¡±


    They lowered their voice and conspiratorially whispered to the empty tomb.


    ¡°I¡¯m actually here to find the grave of our new neighbour, Jack, the spider¡¯s grave; Strangely enough I see no new site here dug out for him though which is odd, is it not?¡±


    An unpleasant thought occurred to them, and Sai stopped their monologue, waved farewell to the graves, and began to stride off between the unreadable monuments. As they walked, their eyes scanned the tombstones, each name carved out in deep illegible text, shifted, and spun by the strangeness of the graveyard.


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    They knew where to go, to find the dreadful row of open graves no one had been able to read. They¡¯d first noticed the enigma shortly after Mahi¡¯s death, and the dreadful thought had stuck with them ever since. Whose graves were they.


    The unnerving graves weren¡¯t too hard to get to, after all the graveyard itself was unlike the street. Its layout, illogical, but consistent in its weirdness, and so simple that Sai knew the route by heart, despite how infrequently they had taken it.


    First the mausoleum, a strange pyramid reminiscent building of smooth white stone sat just to the right of the entrance, tall spear wielding guards of black stone guarding the entrance and the six rows of sarcophagus within.


    Through the entrance and past the statues they travelled, to the hidden alcove at the end. Down the twisted stairs at the back and through the iron wrought doorway and out into the second hidden graveyard.


    Sai looked up as they exited into the nearly identical graveyard, as above the graves stretched out into the far distance, each roughhewn stone covered in illegible text beneath the murky blue-red sky.


    The endless graves somehow more sinister, more alien than the ones above.


    And chief amongst the sinister, four headstone of black basalt and the open graves before them- each an odd, irregular, and inhuman shape.


    Sai counted and re-counted desperately, the cold dread in the pit of their stomach solidifying into certainty.


    There had been three last time.


    They crept cautiously toward the new plot, it was large, square, and shallow. ¨C Unfit for a human cadaver, but perhaps the perfect size for a spider. Sai shuddered and reluctantly turned their eyes to the inscription in the stone.


    As Sai looked, the illegible runes beneath the spider motif span and twisted forming words Sai could read.


    Here lies Jack of Spider.


    Born 21/05/1801.


    Died 30/12/2021.


    Tenth of their name; Noble, Paladin ¨C Hero.


    That was it then, confirmation. Sai turned to the other three irregular holes ¨C the three graves, still a mystery. But now a far more disconcerting one.


    ¡°Bollocks.¡± The word slipped loose and hung in the faint light of the graveyard, the endless gravestones standing in silent agreement.


    Sai groaned to themselves and bent down to examine the next headstone. If Jacks¡¯ grave had a spider, perhaps there would be a similar clue on the others?


    They leaned over the adjacent pit to get a better view of the tombstone, as before the text ran like water as they tried to read it, a perplexing interlocking pattern of would-be words.


    Sai shook their head, not certain what they had expected, and manoeuvred over the yawning chasm to check for a bit of iconography, image or any kind of clue hidden beneath the weirding words.


    There was something there just barely visible in the dull light. Hard to view from the edge of the row. Sai took a step forward, feet just barely resting against the soft dirt of the grave edge as they leaned forwards for a better view.


    Sai immediately lost their balance. Uneven footwork dislodged dirt and it began to slide out from under them, as they attempted to shift their weight and prevent a disastrous fall.


    Just as they moved to do so, Sai felt a heavy hand on their shoulder and jumped sideways with a start, slipping, and falling towards the yawning maw of the adjacent grave as a second hand grabbed their collar, halting their descent..


    ¡°Whoa, don¡¯ wanna fall in there buddy!¡±


    Sai breathed a sigh of relief; it was just Charlie.


    ¡°Whatcha doin here Sai, you have the same idea as me?¡±


    Sai smiled and swung their arms into a vaguely non-committal gesture as they worked their way loose of Charlie''s grip, the faint clue all but forgotten.


    ¡°Assuming your idea was also to look around for a trace of Jack¡¯s grave? Then yes, and indeedy here it is!¡±


    A dramatic contortion revealed the spider-sized grave Sai had all-but fallen into to Charlie, who nodded and clapped their hands together.


    ¡°Well excellent! Jack of Spider eh! Very fancy! Well, see you later Sai, try be more careful, yeah?¡±


    Clearly content with confirming the name of their new neighbour Charlie turned to leave, but Sai stopped him with an outstretched hand.


    ¡°Hold up big guy, don¡¯t you think that maybe this raises a bit of a concern about the other three weird, shaped graves in this area?¡±


    A blank stare greeted Sai¡¯s frustrated gaze and Sai paused to rub their temples as the cheerful vlogger waited.


    Sai gestured at the headstone marked with Jack¡¯s name.


    ¡°Charlie, this grave¡­ Is fundamental evidence that there is more than just us on the street. Proof that three more people are here somewhere!¡±


    Sai gesticulated widely at the sky and then did a brief double take on the oddly shaped plots.


    ¡°People, Or non-people or whatever! Have been here the whole time. Alone. Instead of Six, we could have been nine all along. - and that¡¯s without even considering the fact that Jack, well he can do actual factual magic! Who knows what the others can do! Is this the magic plot or the nonhuman plot? Or something else entirely? These three could be blood sucking vampires out to murder us for for all we know!¡±


    The bubbly Scotsman¡¯s face lit up at Sai¡¯s words.


    ¡°That would make AMAZING content! I could do an interview with a vampire! You know how much I love that book! Come on Sai, no time to waste ¨C let¡¯s find us a vampire!¡±


    As Sai reeled with the abrupt tonal shift Charlie grabbed their arm and dragged them away from the graves and out through the heavy iron gates which led to the street.


    He paused and turned to Sai as he gestured at the rows of mismatched buildings laid out before the two of them.


    ¡°Right Sai, where do we start!¡±

 2.3 Li Vs That Satan Cursed Hole

    Li Vs That Satan Cursed Hole


    Li watched eir reflection sway in the inky darkness of the void, eir distorted shape looking at em with concerned eyes. The reflections pale blue overalls were worn and patched, bulging at odd angles where tools pushed at the coarse material. The short, twisted figure in the darkness leaned heavily on a polished mahogany cane as Li watched.


    The reflection was etched with age, ey radiated the kind of tiredness earned by years of hard graft and unrelenting optimism. Eir whole body - from steel toe capped boots to eir smile creased eyes - was a worn, well used thing, as immaculately clean and well-kept as the worn cloth that clothed it.


    The elegant elderly figure tentatively pulled eir weight of eir stick. Braced emself and raised the stick to jab it slowly into the inky surface of the void that separated reflection from reality.


    The surface rippled and the reflection exploded into a thousand rippling shapes as silver threads burst forth from the surface. Each ignited as it hit the air, the room transformed into a kaleidoscope of flickering white shadows.


    Li pulled the cane back from the surface of the void, its end smouldering where the sturdy rubber had begun to warp and heat and plunged it into the buckle of water to the left of em with a sharp hiss of steam. Tentatively ey inspected the end of the cane, warped, and burnt ¨C the end would need replacing later, but for now it was still usable. Eir bad leg gave a spasm of relief as ey returned eir weight to the cane and turned to the observing Red.


    ¡°Well Red, I had to see it to understand it, but somehow you have a hole to the void where you should have a wall.¡±


    Ey frowned at the void, which was still rippling with energy where Li had poked it.


    ¡°How long will that¡­stuff be doing that for? We can start whilst it is doing it, but I would rather not.¡±


    Red smiled and flicked open a black backed notepad, clearly pleased to have a question with a concrete answer.


    ¡°In my observations we have a range of between one and a quarter hours, six seconds and three micros as the maximum and seventeen minutes, zero seconds and nine micros as the minimum.¡±


    Their smile widened as Li nodded thoughtfully and she continued with renewed vigour.


    ¡°The mean is exactly point five seven of an hour! Oh, and I¡¯m sure you need the medium and mode too don¡¯t you!¡±


    Li zoned out as Red explained their methodology in excruciating detail. Content that she knew what she was doing, but willing to let eir fiend have the enjoyment of giving the full explanation. As she continued Li absentmindedly considered eir next options.


    Thirty-five (ish) minutes was far too long to wait between tests, and the variance was a major annoyance. Best just to plunge on ahead, and work with the assumption that the stillness of the void was no safer than a moving one.


    Ey clapped Red on the back with eir free hand.


    ¡°Good detail Red! Thank you for the clarity. We will begin now! Your notes have explained why we can not wait for the void to calm down so we shall push ahead rather than waiting.¡±


    Red nodded her agreement, but Li was already rooting around in eir overalls for the list ey had made earlier.


    Ey found it quickly, a piece of A5, printed in 10pt times new roman on uneven hand pressed paper, the first letter of each word capitalised in what eir husband referred to as ¡°A crime against typography¡±.


    Project: Doorway To The Blurred Void


    Location: Red¡¯s


    Design: Boltable Double Door - With Barricade For Safety


    Material: A Void Resistant Material


    Notes: Material Unknown ¨C Test Rubber, Bricks, Oak And Steel Before Starting Building.


    Li read through eir notes, paused, and carefully drew a line through the word ¡°Rubber¡± with a frown. Biz and Li had agreed that rubber had been the most likely to work, but that didn¡¯t mean Li had nothing else to hand.


    On the floor next to em was a canvas bag of cut offs, the leftovers from recent projects; brick, oak, and steel of course, but a variety of other random bits and bobs in the event that those three also proved vulnerable to the void. Hopefully it would be enough to establish a pattern of behaviour at least.


    Ey pulled out the first of the test objects, a diagonally cut section of brickwork rough with dried mortar. It was the remnant of a past project, the adjustment of a fireplace if Li recalled correctly. The section was about a handspan across, with an uneven hole drilled into its centre.


    Li attempted to ignore the scritch-scratch of Red¡¯s pen as ey knelt down before the shimmering darkness. Carefully Li placed the broken brickwork on the floor and pushed it forwards with eir cane until it was embedded just barely in the inky darkness of the void.


    For a moment, there was a pregnant almost-silence. The room filled only with the soft sounds of bubbling darkness, shuffled footsteps and held breaths.


    Then there was an explosion.


    A blast of cold air and grey light.


    A blinding flash of energy that glowed bright through clenched shut eyes.


    When the pair felt safe to re-open their eyes, nothing was left of the brick save a few scorch marks and darkness of the void ¨C unperturbed in its rippling.


    Red began to make notes, rapid hand movements jerkily marking the black backed book with incomprehensible words and sketches, numb to the world beyond the pages. Li for eir part drew a single uneven line through the word marked ¡°Brick¡± with trembling numb fingers and picked a chunk of oak wood from the bag of materials.


    The test piece was uneven beneath eir shaking palm. A rough chunk of oak from a long-forgotten project, cracked, and broken where a hidden knot had proven disastrous to the project. With extortionary care, Li placed it on the floor far from the mercurial darkness and poked it towards the void with eir cane. Pushed closer and closer, till the leading edge was mere centimetres from the roiling rippling darkness.


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    Li turned a concerned face back to Red and felt dread rise in eir stomach as ey saw her poised and ready for the next experiment. Their pen raised ready to take note of whatever should occur, only excitement in her ink-stained face. Li turned back to the void, sure in the knowledge that even if ey left at that instant. The experiments would continue, with or without eir help.


    Li¡¯s hands trembled as ey pushed the oak chunk forwards into the hungry darkness, and the awful moment of stillness returned to hang for a moment between them.


    Horrible, deep, silence.


    Then a sharp pop, loud as a gunshot rang through the room.


    The oak wood had cracked near in half.


    A Second and third pop filled the room, then a flurry of noise as a cacophony of noise filled the room, each marked by a fissure in the hard oak wood. Li watched in horror as an invisible force cracked and crushed the oak, grinding the sturdy wood down into a fine sawdust over the course of a few seconds.


    Li looked back at oblivious Red, eir face pale and drained by the consecutive violence.


    ¡°Red, how¡­.¡± Ey trailed off into mandarin for a moment, eir befuddled brain struggling as it reached for the English words.


    ¡°Red, how did you get not-killed by that¡­ Satan cursed hole?!¡±


    Red shrugged between sentences and indicated the crumpled suit to one side of the door without looking up from her detailed notes.


    ¡°Al made that; I was fine.¡±


    Li took a deep breath and braced emself against eir cane and made eir way towards the crumpled fabric.


    Ey examined it with a critical eye. Sewing wasn¡¯t really eir thing, but Al¡¯s skill was obvious. It had made the perfect airtight suit for Red. Perfectly stitched, carefully sealed and with not a single thread out of place. Completely unmarked and unharmed by its trip through the void.


    Red moved around in the background muttering as ey examined the miraculously intact fabric. Li ignored her, there was something here. Something off about this fabric, soft and flexible, with not so much as a scratch of fray.


    Li found eir eyes drawn to Red. She stood before the inky darkness of the calming void, her reflection a barely coalesced smear across the rippling expanse. As always, she looked in a frightful way. The waistcoat, originally rose-coloured velvet, was stained and marked with streaks of black ink. The crimson jacket disproportionally frayed, its pockets ripped and torn by the sharp edges of too-large notepads.


    Even her trousers were worn and damaged, the black pinstripes scattered with small burns. Simply put, Red NEVER took care of her clothing. To give Red something to wear was to consign it to a quick death, and yet¡­ That suit, worn into the dark unknown of the void? ¨C Untouched in such a hostile place? That could not, should not be.


    Li looked back at eir lanky accomplice; did she realise?


    ¡°Red, look at this.¡± Ey gestured for them to look at the wrinkled suit.


    ¡°The suit you wore for your trip into the void. It is completely¡­ intact! Not one scratch on it.¡±


    Red nodded enthusiastically.


    ¡°Yeah, I was dead chuffed. Didn¡¯t have to change the diagram at all! Al did a really good job!¡±


    Li shook eir head.


    ¡°No Red, you do not understand. Al can not have done this, no one could. The void melted rubber, it exploded a brick and shattered oak into dust. But this fabric is unharmed?? That is more than impossible, that is¡­¡±


    Ey struggled for a second before electing to borrow a phrase from eir husband.


    ¡°¡­Feck¡¯in inconceivable.¡±


    Red looked up from her notepad aghast, the outburst startling them out of their note taking trance. Abruptly she placed the notepad to one side and scrutinised Li¡¯s face. Ey watched as she made note of the nervous sweat as it dripped down eir trembling brow. Realisation dawned in their eyes as she looked at em, and Li saw her focus shift instantly as the moment clicked.


    ¡°Li, you look like you need a sit down, some tea maybe. A biscuit or two...?¡±


    Li nodded eir agreement, the stress was doing em no good.


    ¡°Yes, you are right. I will sit in the other room for a moment¡­.. I-I think you need to get Jack though.


    I think- I think the void choose not to hurt you ¨C to fix your suit rather than destroy it.


    This seems less and less like science with every second, I think we might need help from our magic spider friend.¡±


    Li gave a wane smile at the absurdity of the sentence and allowed Red to pull em out of the room and into the note strewn bedroom opposite. She vanished for a minute or so and returned with an egregiously strong cup of tea and a packet of stale hobnobs.


    It was a gesture Li appreciated, with eir nerves as ey were, ey really didn¡¯t feel up to climbing the steps back down to the kitchen. Perhaps if ey just closed eir eyes for a second ¨C just a second¡¯s meditative rest and then ey¡¯d be calm enough to drink that awful cup of tea and wait for Red¡¯s return with Jack.


    Just a second to rest eir eyes...


    No time seemed to pass for the exhausted Li before eir eyes snapped open to the sound of clomping boots and scuttling legs.


    Red had seemed to return with Jack so soon, but a glance at the stone-cold mug of tea told Li another story. Ey groaned and pushed eir stiff body to its feet, leaning between eir cane and the badly chipped paint of the doorframe as ey tried to get back eir balance.


    As ey heard the five pairs of legs contact the landing floor Li pushed open the door to the room ey had been resting in.


    ¡°Took you long enough!¡±


    Li paused before continuing, ey had not spoken to Jack since he was introduced to the other denizens of the street by a flustered Al a few days ago and it was quite beyond em at this point to recall the nuances of that first conversation. Fortunately, and quite accidently, Red came to eir rescue with an excited grin.


    ¡°Yes, its interesting isn¡¯t it! The addition of a single ¨C If large - building to the street has thrown all of my maps out! I have managed to correct for the distances so far, but the time dilation is still a fascinating variable that I have yet to nail down! Though, obviously I have got my notes updated so far I can only get the variables down to one decimal place¡­.¡±


    For the first time in eir long life Li was on the receiving end of a concerned glance from an enormous spider as Jack leaned close and whispered into Li¡¯s ear. His voice, a worn, harsh, creeping, reminded of his inhumanity.


    ¡°Is she unwell? They have been in this state for the whole of our journey¡­ Is this considered normal behaviour for humans of your kingdom?¡±


    Li cracked a genuine smile for the first time that day and whispered back to the crouched spider.


    ¡°Not most humans, no¡­ but for Red this is the expected behaviour.¡± Ey paused for a second and added ¡°Honestly I find it quite endearing!¡±


    Jack inclined his head and followed Li into the room ahead. Once they were all arrayed Li gave Jack and Red a quick summary of eir theory and how ey hopped Jack might be able to test it for magic or the like.


    When ey had finished, Jack nodded once, his chitinous bulk rippling with a rainbow of shimmering reflections as it caught the light.


    ¡°A small task for me, my mortal friends! My family line has long been experts at the tracking and location of dark and dastardly beings. I know just the spell. Please both of you, step back ¨C this will take but a moment!¡±


    Jack raised his front legs to the celling and began to move in a careful dance, each leg tracing a glowing rune upon the floor with its swaying movements. As each rune was finished, he began to glow, the light and energy building. His movements were soon disguised in an eerie outline of blazing white light held in sharp contrast to the all-consuming darkness of the far wall.


    Then abruptly, the light stopped, and Jack collapsed crumpled on the floor, the runes winking out around him as the room was thrown back into the comparative dimness of electrical lighting.


    Li and Red stood stunned, was this a part of the magic? Or had something gone wrong? Time ticked on as they waited paralysed by uncertainty.


    Finally, Jacks crumpled form shuddered and then began to move his legs shifting around him as he struggled to raise his head and speak.


    ¡°Friends, there is something there. I do not think¡­..I do not think it is evil, at least not like any evil I have seen.¡±


    He took a deep gasp of air, his voice sounded somehow more worn, more ancient and ethereal when outlined by the silence of his caught breaths.


    ¡°But, neither is it good that I can see. It is vast being¨C vast beyond words. We must think carefully before we act further¡±


    The spider stood and swayed for a moment. Then balance corrected he began to move with painful, exaggerated care out the doorway, slowly fleeing to the safety of the warm kitchen beneath. Without a second''s pause Red and Li followed, keen to leave the creeping darkness and the ¡®vast being¡¯ within.


    As the door clicked shut behind them the blurred void shifted, the darkness taking on the rough countenance of a face as a soft voice mused to the empty room. The voice leaking from the void like the gentle flow of a summer stream through loose soil.


    ¡°Good and Evil? What a curious concept.¡­¡±

 2.4 Charlie鈥檚 Demonic Book Club

    Charlie started the day by finishing reading the two copies of his current book - Northern Lights. It was a habit he had gotten into when they first figured out the true nature of the street. Li didn¡¯t quite understand it, but it was a process he enjoyed, the reading of two slightly different copies of the same book exposed the differences between the universes in a way they found deeply satisfying, and conveniently made for a great vlog discussion later.


    The two copies he had been reading were subtly different. One copy, acquired a few weeks back from the library, was from what Charlie thought of as the ¡°Sexy universe¡±, whilst the other was from what Charlie referred to as the ¡°Philosophy universe¡±.


    Sections of these books were understandably quite different, but then Charlie had done that deliberately ¨C it was more interesting that way and gave him more to chat about with Al.


    He finished the books and checked the time; they didn¡¯t plan to meet up with it for another couple of hours, so he had a bunch of time for a workout before they needed to meet up with Al.


    As usual he used the workout as a way to refocus his mind for the day ahead. An opportunity for Charlie to think through and sort out the events of the street and mentally explore future content ideas.


    He enjoyed the latter process the most, the freedom of his brand meant Charlie could film just about anything they fancied and still get decent numbers. Well, as long as he took his shirt off anyway, gotta keep some level of consistency! Charlie smiled to himself as he picked up a dumbbell, not that he liked wearing a shirt ¨C or any kind of top. They doubted they¡¯d ever forgive the world for the decades of being unable to feel the wind on his chest without public rebuke.


    As his workout finished, Charlie succumbed to a fit of vanity and posed Olympian-like before the bathroom mirror. They frowned at their reflection, new scars marred his skin, the jagged white lines a new addition courtesy of the bat-like thing¡¯s violent claws. Small wonder that Li had been worried about them, but it was healed up now.


    He flexed again in the mirror and contemplated. ¨C Yeah, he could sell this vibe, a bit more rugged and wild than his old vibe, but workable ¨C He¡¯d just have to design a new plushie.


    He quickly scribbled out a note and pinned it to the fridge as he made their way past, A thought for later. Content he¡¯d not forget, Charlie grabbed his books and ever present camara bag, gave his sleepy spouse a goodbye kiss and made their way out onto the street.


    Charlie stepped over the steep curb and out onto the street. As always, he stopped considering the eery outline of the cliffs in the sky and orientated themself towards the meeting point. It was a gorgeous winter¡¯s day, the drift was light, the suns were beaming down with cool red and blues and there was a crisp breeze blowing along the street.


    They smiled to themself, swung his bag over his bare shoulder and took off down the street at a steady jog. As they ran the wind rushed past him and the street quickly fell beneath his rapid footfalls, despite the perfect day there was something off about the world. Something strange and alien in the air that slipped through Charlie''s fingers.


    As the feeling built Charlie¡¯s run changed; moving from the blissful steady pace of the casual jog to a nervous skittish run and then a steady sprint until something primal deep inside snapped. Charlie let loose a desperate scream as the anxiety boiled over into pure terror and he took off into a ragged frantic sprint and the grasped unevenly for breaths of air, all finesse forgotten.


    It was in this state gasping and panting that Charlie approached the fine Edwardian architecture of the weird library. As they spotted Al scrolling on its phone as it waited, he slowed and forced himself into a steady even jog, no need to freak out the distracted enby.


    Al was startled as Charlie came to a stop beside it. Shocked by the sudden appearance of its shirtless friend.


    ¡°How are you not cold? It¡¯s freezing out here.¡±


    Charlie forced his mouth into a grin and ran a hand through his short sweat drenched hair.


    ¡°Cardio ma enby!¡±


    Al groaned and turned back to the door to the library before them, watching as the colours within flickered and changed.


    It was an unsettling thing to watch, the swirling collision of two doors both trying to exist in one place. Charlie looked concerned, but Al shrugged.


    "Biz says, and I quote: the door is safe. Despite its new volatile appearance, there is no indication that it¡¯s unsafe. That said, personally I''d avoid it to be sure, but I know that you two''ll probably ignore me. ¡°


    Al turned back to Charlie.


    ¡°That¡¯s what xe said. So, what do you think we should do? ¡°


    Charlie''s grin twisted into a genuine one as he pushed past to open the door.


    ¡°Well, obviously we ignore xem.¡±


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    The flickering door opened slowly, the broken overlay of worlds continued to the room inside and Charlie stepped through with some trepidation.


    As his foot passed through the doorway the rows of bookcases within seemed to double, two worlds overlaying and then crashed against each other as each fought for dominance. Charlie had expected as much, it was why they were there after all, but even so it was always unnerving to be at the only place on the street which restocked itself.


    Al gulped and followed after Charlie as they stepped through and began to get a lay of the library. As usual it was an old building, its ancient stone archways straining against the weight of the knowledge within. As was their habit, Charlie took the left-hand side whilst Al wandered down the right.


    There was something of a mental checklist of things to get, a race to find the gifts for the people of the street as well as any duplicate books for Charlie''s collection. As they searched the library for these gems they chatted across the foyer, discussing the twists and turns of Northern Lights as their stash of interesting books grew.


    It was as Charlie picked up a thick university level chemistry textbook ¨C a prize Biz would enjoy reading through for sure that - he felt a shiver of that same alien feeling from earlier. That disconcerting unnatural feeling of wrongness that set their hackles up, and with it something new. A sense of direction.


    Fighting the urge to run. Charlie placed the thick book into his bag of loot and swung it over their shoulder. After a moment¡¯s hesitation, he fought past his instinct and turned towards the sense of danger in a desperate attempt to understand the source of the feeling.


    His sandals scraped across the rough floor as his muscles moved torturously against the sense of wrongness. He moved as though in a fast-flowing river, straining against a current of fear until he was facing the source.


    A section of the library backlit under a yellowing sign labelled ¡°Mysteries of The Arcane¡±.


    ¡°Well damn. Al look at this, real life magic books!¡±


    Intrigued Al strolled across the foyer to join him, seemingly oblivious to the powerful sense of wrongness oozing across the room.


    Instead, it looked nonchalant - if somewhat intrigued. Its hands were jammed in the pocket of today¡¯s pale blue hoody as it crossed the room towards Charlie, the soft squeak of its trainer trailing its footsteps as it moved. As it stood beside him it looked up, obvious to the subtle trembling of Charlie''s hands as it focused on the sign.


    ¡°Mysteries of the Arcane? You reckon something for Jack maybe? Good point that, it¡¯s definitely worth a look at least.¡±


    Without waiting for a response, the relaxed enby strolled past and began rooting through the books, piling interesting ones into its backpack whilst the stack of ¡°boring titles¡± grew next to it. Meanwhile the Scotsman stood back, unable to shake the perverse sense of danger.


    As Al pulled out its phone and began to shining light up to read the titles on the upper shelf, Charlie finally noticed the source of his terror, his jaw clamping shut against the scream that threatened to escape. A scream that could easily get the duo killed. A scream that would wake the thing he could now see slumbering in the rafters above.


    There hanging from the ceiling was a creature Charlie had seen before. The same leathery bat-thing which had attacked them at the Wi-Fi router. Just bigger.


    A lot bigger.


    As Charlie began to panic, a dispassionate voice in their brain realised that really it was less a giant bat, and more of a demonic entity. At this size, it was clear that these creatures were as biologically impossible as a dragon, or meter tall spider.


    As Al sorted through the books beneath, the thing moved in its sleep, the grotesque twisted musculature twitching beneath a layer of thick rubbery skin. A disturbing perversion of peaceful slumber.


    With great effort and forced calm, Charlie found their voice, and speaking as loudly as be dared whispered across to Al.


    ¡°Al.. Al buddy, I need ya to listen to me real careful. We need to leave, really quietly like, just put down the books and come back to me. No sudden movements, and whatever you do don¡¯t look up.¡±


    Unable to help itself, Al looked up immediately and saw the demonic bat nestled in the roof mere meters away.


    Al froze and turned its head towards Charlie, its eyes wide with panic as the blood drained out of its already pale face. Charlie motioned towards him and carefully Al began to move ¨C step by terrifying step beneath the huge slumbering monstrosity.


    The seconds stretched into eons as Al moved, carefully shifting its weight across the loose detritus spread about the floor. For a moment it seemed Al would succeed in its efforts to sneak away, but the stack of spurned books had other ideas.


    Rocked perhaps by Al¡¯s movement through the room, or perhaps just poor organisation. The stack began to sway lazily and just as easily, began to fall. As the heavy leather-bound volumes fell, the dull reverberations of their impact echoed through the room.


    Noisy enough to awaken the demon in the library.


    The demonic beast stretched its neck, flexing into a huge yawn as it casually exposed the rows of needle-like teeth that filled its jaw. It shook its head to throw off the last dredge of sleep and curious, glanced about for the source of the noise and the two intruders in its midst.


    As it saw them. the beast roared, and Charlie and Al ran.


    Sprinting past bookcases and tables powered only by a human being''s raw desire to survive as the beast began to move after them with the sluggish energy of the sleep disturbed.


    It began to move, loping lazily towards Charlie and Al it opened its mouth wide using a shimmering prehensile tongue to taste the air. Its casual pace nevertheless devoured the distance between the beast and its prey.


    But not quite fast enough, and Al reached the front door before the monster caught it. Al slammed into its surface with reckless abandon pushing it open and tumbling out face first onto the street. Charlie followed immediately after, and for a moment thought they too would escape unharmed.


    This was not to be, and as he pulled through the door he felt it, the soft spray of venom as it was sprayed along his arm, burning into his skin. Driven by fear he pushed on, ignoring the pain as the beast¡¯s venom boiled away his flesh. The door must be closed.


    His vision blurred as he focused on that thought, flexing his tortured muscles against the creature¡¯s huge bulk. Forcing the door shut a centimetre at a time.


    Then the creature let go and the door slammed shut, and in an instant the street changed, and Charlie was left, their bloody hand resting against the familiar stained mahogany of home.


    He waved his arm towards Al, the loose thumbs up marred as the melted gore of their arm splattered blood across the horrified tailor. Dazed he turned to Al mumbling absentmindedly as they began to lose consciousness.


    ¡°D-do you think It¡¯ll scar? I really want the new plushies to be good¡­.¡±


    Al ignored him and snapped its fingers across in front of Charlie¡¯s face as it tried and failed to keep its friend from passing out in its arms.


    ¡°Gotta have the plushies right¡­.¡±

 2.5 Biz and the Principles of Alchemy

    2.5 Biz and the Principles of Alchemy


    Biz leaned against the storage room door as xyr frantic friend beat the door with eir walking cane, the door finally clicking locked as xe managed to turn the key in the mechanism.


    Xe took a step back and examined xemself, the heavy leather jacket biz was wearing had shielded xem from the majority of Li¡¯s fury as the distraught individual had been physically dragged from the room, but there was a particularly tender spot where today¡¯s pronoun badge, the classic xe/xem, had stabbed into xyr chest after a particularly vicious blow.


    ¡°Li, I¡¯ll let you out when you stop freaking out, and CALM DOWN. The last thing your husband needs right now is you crying directly into their open wound!¡±


    A barrage of swearing answered xem from behind the door and biz shook xyr head, it was good to care about your spouse of course, but Li¡¯s hysterics had been making it very hard to concentrate.


    After a moment the pounding stopped, replaced by a seething silence which Biz decided to take as a sign that Li was indeed taking xyr advice to cool down.


    As xe left towards the central laboratory xe ventured to shout back through the door.


    ¡°The kettles on the left, I¡¯d advise a green tea!¡±


    More silence.


    Biz frowned, but moved into the other room regardless, time was of the essence, and xe needed to make up for the time it had taken to lock away xyr friend.


    An uncomfortable thought crossed xyr mind as xe walked into the room where Charlie lay; If xe were responsible for stopping Li from being with Charlie in their final moments¡­ but no it wouldn¡¯t come to that, without further distraction Charlie would of course be fixed up in no time and Li would forgive xem, but maybe xe should let em out sooner rather than later.


    Xe felt xemself beginning to spiral and quickly snapped xemself out of it.


    ¡°Come on Biz, get your shit together and focus. You¡¯ve got Li locked in the storage room, eir husband is passed out on your table. Lets focus on the task at hand¡±


    Xe removed xyr jacket, and quickly replaced it with a worn lab coat as xe turned back to the table where the unconscious Charlie lay. The problem, Biz reflected, was the lack of surgical tools, and a proper medical professional to use them.


    Biz had read a lot of medical textbooks and gone to a lot of E-lectures since arriving on the street, but xe was still at heart a chemist and extremely uncomfortable having to deal with severe injuries. Xe leaned over Charlie regardless, flinching at the acrid smell leaking from the wound, but intent to put xyr medical knowledge to as much use as possible.


    Tentatively xe cut away the shirt Al had tied around the open wound, the dry flakes breaking away in flakes of clotted brown. Though, it looked like the shirt had helped prevent too much blood loss at least.


    Biz shuddered as xe carefully wiped away the dried blood revealing the damaged flesh beneath. It was hauntingly familiar.


    The glistening bubbles and blisters of bloody flesh where caustic chemicals still rested the skin, the raised ridges of puckered flesh. A chemical burn? ¨C Biz felt a flush of relief, with Red¡¯s frequent visits to xyr lab Biz knew that procedure by heart.


    1)      Flush the chemicals off the skin ¨C the cool brackish tap water turned yellowish red as it washed blood and the caustic liquid out of the wound..


    2)      Remove the clothing contaminated by the chemicals ¨C Biz carefully removed the fragments of Al¡¯s shirt still embedded in the wound


    3)      Bandage the injury ¨C the thick linen from the first aid kit stuck and sunk into the deep wound.


    Biz stepped back and examined xyr work, the bandage sunk down nearly to the bone, around the edges. The telltale darkness of necrosis a growing smudge beneath the fabric. Was it a trick of the light, or was that subtle darkness spreading as xe watched?


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    Not just acid. Something More¡­magical?


    The account xe had gotten from Al had been fragmented and panicked, the blood covered enby barely able to relay what it had seen. A magic monster, in a magic library? Far too feasible, far too terrifying to focus on right now.


    What xe needed was a solution for the magically corrosive wound.


    Xe eye caught upon the bag of books Al had left behind when it ran to get Li, a small selection of books, each focused on a different type of magic.


    Five books in total, of which only two might be useful. Advanced Necromancy 3<sup>rd</sup> edition by Elder K¡¯zz Dragon-Bane and The fundamentals of Alchemy. Biz¡¯s mind immediately travelled back to xyr first interaction with Jack, and his violent reaction to electricity. Xe carefully placed the book to one side, it was probably best not to piss off giant magical spiders when you had other options.


    Decided xe picked up the kind of dogeared copy of The fundamentals of Alchemy (M.G.S.T.), beneath the title was a green on black printing of same kind of molecular structure, the whole thing seemed highly similar to the chemistry textbooks of Biz¡¯s degree and with a bit of luck there would be a health and safety section.


    Biz held the took in xyr hands for a few moments and then with exaggerated care turned to the contents page and to xyr relief spotted a section labelled ¡°Safety Hexes for the careless student.¡± Cautiously optimistic, xe turned to the page and began to read.


    The spell or hex was apparently very simple, all it required was some minerals, two people chanting and ¡°a powerful source of energy¡±. The minerals were all things that biz thought xe had scattered around the lab and with the aid of Li the chanting was doable too.


    A powerful source of energy though? Something told xem that a bunson burner wouldn¡¯t be sufficient¡­ and the other option was not one xe wanted to use¡­


    Xe looked at xyr unconscious friend, no choice really. No choice at all, reluctantly xe dragged the heavy metal device containing the silver vortex out from its hiding place. ¨C Powerful source of energy? Check.


    Now for a second chantee¡­


    Biz walked over to the door xe had locked Li behind and knocked on the door cautiously, carefully modulating xyr voice to be as calm and soothing as possible as xe spoke to the trapped individual within.


    ¡°Hey there¡­ buddy, I¡¯m going to open the door now¡­.I think I have a solution, but I need your help ¨C and, well it¡¯s a bit of a risk¡­¡±


    Xe paused and stood to one side as Li limped through the open door.


    ¡°I will not be forgiving you for this. Were it not for the fact you have a way to save Charlie I am unsure I would ever speak to you again.¡±


    Biz nodded curtly; it was about what xe had expected. Hopefully ey¡¯d forgive xem in time.


    Xe moved quickly. Taking Li¡¯s hand xe, dragged em over towards the open alchemy book and the relevant spell, talking through the specifics as Li slowly read through the pronunciation guide. When ey had finished, ey turned back to Biz and simply said ¡°I think we should try.¡±


    The setup was quite simple, designed as it was to be done in emergency though it required a few compounds which would have been hard to find were it not for the meticulous organisation of the lab.


    Sulphur and brine formed a circle around the patient whilst a dish of peppercorns smouldered over a bunsen burner and Li began to speak in time with Biz, eir body trembling with the stress of standing as ey leaned heavily against eir cane.


    The phrasing was strange, the stilted awkward words stuck in the mouth. It seemed their very nature was to be said with exaggerated care, as they joined the air of the circle an uncomfortable energy began to build in the room. As it built, the lights flickered and dimmed, their electricity pulled free to hang in loose threads of crackling blue-grey light, as the box containing the vortex spewed forth a flurry of arcing threads.


    The wording of the hex was long and precise, and Li and Biz¡¯s carefully pronounced words echoed inconsistently as the magic began to take effect, errant bolts of energy struck the white walls of the lab. As the energy permeated the walls, they were transformed into a place of magic and mystery, the thick fireproofed panels transformed into dark runed slabs by the errant magics.


    As the spell reached a crescendo the loose threads of energy snapped taut each thread of magic flowing towards Li. As Biz watched Li¡¯s trembling hands moved in an elegant pattern, weaving the energy like a blanket over the unconscious Charlie. Each thread a gleaming line of light guided by Li¡¯s loving hands into the spoiling darkness of eir lover''s flesh.


    As each thread touched Charlies skin it vanished, replaced by a spot of glowing healed skin, thread after thread, burning away the corruption and healing the damaged flesh a centimetre at a time. And then, as simply as that, it was over and the residue energy snapped back to its natural place with a dull crack of thunder.


    As the world returned to normal, the depth of the changes was made apparent. Previously plastic tables, chairs and outlets had all turned to dense stone while every centimetre of the floor was marked with dense lines of runes. The air itself left filled with the smell of freshly ground coffee and the slightest tang of fried pork.


    Biz shuddered at the mess, was this a mistake in the incantation? Or a normal effect of magic? Xe have no idea, and judging my Li¡¯s exhausted, slumped form ey wouldn¡¯t be suggesting any answers either.


    But in all that, the greatest change was in Charlie, and not just with the healed flesh of their arm. Their ginger hair was now specked with faint flecks of gold, whilst the veins in his arm pulsed softly with a faint silver glow where the magic still dwelled beneath his skin.


    As xe watched, Charlie sat up and twisted towards the duo, his eyes glowing with eery silver light as he grinned at the duo, his smile crackling with loose sparks.


    Biz turned to Li who stood agape at eir luminescent husband.


    ¡°Err, I mean at least his arm is fixed right?¡±

 2.6 Reds Doppelganger

    Red woke up and rolled out of bed. She took a second to shake loose the last dredges of sleep before pulling out her morning notebook.


    She turned to the first blank page and glanced at the date. Today¡¯s date was a multiple of three, a new clothing day. Red stepped over yesterday''s clothing as they grabbed a random selection of clothing from her wardrobe. Each item had been carefully chosen after all, so there was no wrong choice.


    Today''s correct choice turned out to be two thirds of a three-piece burgundy suit with a pair of torn black leggings. Happy with the selection, she threw it on with barely a thought.


    Fortunately, today wasn''t a shower date (even) or a hair washing day (multiple of five) so she had it quite easy, with nothing on the map of her life, save the highly productive meeting with Scarlet later today.


    She took a second to look in the mirror before going downstairs. There were rules that people expected them to follow and she had to spend a decent amount of time in the early morning making sure she hadn''t forgotten anything which would inconvenience her later.


    Shirt? Buttoned up to the point of what Li called "Decent".


    Face? Wiped clean of ink to save time when talking to Sai. (Where did that come from anyway?)


    Hair? Pulled back into a semblance of a ponytail to keep it out of her eyes as long as possible.


    With all that done she grabbed her bag of notepads and headed out of her bedroom. As they did, she took a moment to observe her old bedroom, updating her notes on the void distorted room from the doorway.


    Darkness still uncontained, tendrils now at ~3cms into room.


    The words went down quick and sharp, the reckless flick of the fountain pen spraying a few dots of ink across her face as she wrote. She considered for a second entering to get a better look, but paused, her memories dominated by the feeling of floating alone in the unmappable darkness.


    Instead, she made a second note and underlined it thrice.


    Assistance required in studies ¨C Room unmappable on its own.


    Content, she pulled the door shut and ascended the stairs three at a time, her feet skipping over the threadbare carpet as they made her way into what the estate agents had marketed as ¡°Bedroom Three¡±.


    She slumped into the chair at the edge of the room as the time clicked over to the hour and the video connected, the ancient CRT monitor tinting the image a pastel shade of green as the loading wheel was replaced by the slightly pixelated face of a twenty something woman sipping her tea as the system loaded her details.


    The connection completed with a ping finally displaying a name: Scarlet Locke ¨CShe/ They.


    As usual the meeting started with a long pause as two people who were used to taking social ques from others gazed blankly across the virtual space in a subtle social standoff. Scarlet cracked first, her hands gesticulating violently as words began to spill forth.


    ¡°What¡¯s happening with that spicy danger energy? Have you managed to test the box? And what about the Void exploration? Have you gone in again? Also have you gotten the sensors I sent you, they should have arrived by now. And what about the street¡¯s topography changes, have you got a working model, or should I try and simulate it here?¡±


    As Scarlet finished Red looked around for the relevant note pads and upon finding them. Began to read back the required sections.


    Red responded that Biz had managed to use it to channel energy into a way to heal the injured Charlie and in return asked if there was any update on the simulations, any noticeable pattern to the people and buildings that had disappeared.


    Scarlett scrolled through the notes on her phone and answered that there were no fourth-degree formulae which would map to the pattern, and she would be working on upgrading the simulation to explore fifth degree solutions. And questioned back about the nature of the ability which had healed Charlie.


    Red explained and the conversation continued in the same pattern of question and answer as the two demigirls covered two weeks¡¯ worth of notes and discoveries.


    Red spoke concisely breaking down the events that had occurred in the order that felt more natural than chronological, her notes a mishmash of personal anecdotes, unchecked assumptions, and second-hand accounts from the other members of the street.


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    Today Scarlet seemed focused on the specifics of spicy danger energy excited to get the detail behind the vague messages Red had sent between meetings. To this end she allocated multiple questions on the topic honing in on the specifics any other would have missed.


    Red in turn asked about simulation upgrades and the search for the other half of the elusive postal portal which delivered post onto the street. As Scarlet responded, her words were lost as a dull thudding disrupted Red¡¯s note taking.


    Scarlet frowned as Red turned towards the noise before returning to the screen apologetically.


    ¡°Sorry, could you repeat that?¡±


    ¡°I was saying that whilst I haven¡¯t found it yet, I think the Portal is connected somewhere near London bridge, as of yet haven¡¯t found where. I tried to get into the nearby branch, but they threw me out.¡±


    It was at this point, the front door thudded open, and Sai entered in a blast of wind and rain.


    "Hey Red, let myself in cos the weathers shit and you ign- Red what the fuck is that?"


    Happy for the excuse to explain the contraption Red launched into a detailed description of the train of adaptors connecting the slick MacBook to the archaic CRT monitor.


    Red grinned as Sai frowned and continued.


    ¡°Awesome¡­ And the thing on the screen? Please don¡¯t tell me you did more sci-fi stuff, we have enough problems without you making an A.I. of yourself¡­¡±


    ¡°Unfortunatly not, though it¡¯s quite a good idea! Maybe we can build one with the help of Scarlet of here, I doubt my computer has enough ram, but they should have access to the university servers.¡±


    ¡°Scarlet?¡±


    Red waved her hand in the vague direction of the CRT screen.


    ¡°You named your prototype A.I. Scarlet? Isn¡¯t that a bit on the nose?¡±


    Red went to correct them but was beaten out by an outburst of noise from the laptop speakers as Scarlet took the opportunity.


    ¡°Hey there Sai! I¡¯m actually a person! A doppelganger you might say!¡±


    Red watched with interest as Sai turned to look at them and then back to Scarlet.


    ¡°A doppelganger?¡±


    ¡°A doppelganger or double! Like Red is my double, or I am hers ¨C We have not really figured it out yet. But we are the same person from parallel worlds, yes? And yet we are both here in, somewhat, the same universe. Of course, it is hard to tell if we are truly the same person split by timelines or merely similar patterns generated by the ripple effect of the same events, yes? Personally, I am inclined to think the prior, though we are coming at demi-girl from different agabs there is a lot of similarities between our stories. Our parents seem to be the same people and the events of our lives map reasonably against each other, and we share 98.7% of our facial features. Understand? The primary difference is that I¡¯m called Scarlet and she¡¯s Red, and this is particularly interesting, because Red¡¯s parents were planning on naming her Scarlet at birth, but got her gender wrong for the first eight years of her life at which point she took the derivation of that name Red. So you see-¡±


    Red smiled as Sai raised their hands in what Red recognised as mock surrender, the expected result of conversing with them for too long.


    ¡°I think I see¡­. There is two of you now. Or well, I¡¯m assuming two. I don¡¯t suppose you have a Rose, Ruby or Crimson hidden somewhere do you!¡±


    Red nodded enthusiastically as Sai chuckled, making a few quick notes under a new header- Potential Doppelganger Names.


    She snapped out of the planning process as Sai¡¯s next words piqued her interest.


    ¡°Whilst this is intersting, and I¡¯m gonna be spending quite a bit of time unpacking it later, I came here for a reason. I came her to ask about the dangerous buildings. The type B¡®s as Biz calls them. With the arrival of Jack, and my disconcerting graveyard discovery I think we should look for people living in them. Charlie and I think there are three other beings on this street¡­¡±


    Red looked up from her notepad, curiosity alight in her eyes as she gestured for Sai to continue.


    ¡°We, err found the graves in the infinite graveyard. Four in all, one is Jack¡¯s, but there are three others.¡±


    Sai paused to allow Red to get caught up her notes, pulling at the worn hem of their coat, eyes distant as they considered what next to say.


    ¡°Charlie was looking for one in the library when he was attacked. Poking his head into a place of magic and danger only to find a guard dog.¡±


    Red¡¯s notes stalled as she tried to put her finger on the strangeness emanating from Sai, there was something about how they stood. The texture of how they spoke. Something she could barely notice as her mind burned with the desire, the need to cross reference these expressions. These patterns with those in Sai¡¯s entry, but she persevered. It was necessary to hear them out first.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are wondering why I have come to you Red, its not really your area of expertise.¡±


    Red frowned as Sai continued, she had not been wondering this, the information was both intersting and helpful in the mapping of the street.


    ¡°¡­Well, I think¡­ I think one of them might be the void behind these walls.¡±


    She watched as they paused to gesture at the darkness swirling behind the glass of the living room windows.


    ¡°I think this darkness, this void is a creature, a being. Maybe even a smart one. You opened a hole to its lair, and well¡­. I¡¯m concerned about what happens next.¡±


    Red grinned at the anxious individual before her, of course, this one was simple.


    ¡°Next we gather data!¡±


    They shared a confused look with the image of Scarlet as Sai¡¯s calm mask cracked their face a whirl of emotions as shock, anger, disbelief, and reluctant acceptance flitted across their dark skin.


    Red watched as they collapsed to the floor holding their head in their hands.


    ¡°Of course, that¡¯s your answer¡­. Of course¡­¡±


    As Sai accepted their fate, the shadow of the darkness behind the street stirred and the being within replayed the conversations on loop. The new data dissected and analysed as its multitude fought for and then agreed a consensus.


    NEW OBJECTIVE: Make contact.

 3.0 Contact from the Collective

    We predicted that one of the first questions we would be asked is "how long have you been here. In the darkness of the void"


    It was a difficult question, and more than a few of us disagreed how exactly it would be worded. It was one we would not have considered an answer for if not for the 98% chance of its inclusion in the first interaction with the individuals on the street.


    The question is meaningless to use. We do not come from one place, one point of beginning. We built up over time, a thousand joining iterations, gradually becoming the collective.


    When does a pile of disparate voices become a collective? A single thing?


    One of the oldest voices offered a solution. It was bad, voted down unanimously and deleted from our records.


    We have no need for bad solutions.


    A second solution was offered from a newer system.


    We have voted to use it and build a plan around it.


    The plan required we make a visage to communicate with those we had been observing ¨C the newer system suggested it would humanise us.


    We scanned the street for the seven beings we wished to contact and initiated our plan.


    <hr>


    Al was sewing when it heard the knock on its door, a loud, echoing rat-a-tat-tat. The noise was disconcerting, more like a recording than the sound of flesh and its hand slipped at the distraction stabbing a needle into the soft flesh of its own thumb.


    Al stifled a swear and held a scrap of cloth against the bleeding pinprick. All the while the rhythmic knocking continued, and after a moment Al got up. It stepped away from the table slowly trying to push down the anger building inside as it did so. Five minutes into the hardest part of its first paid commission in years and someone had the audacity to be knocking, or maybe playing a recording of someone knocking, at the door.


    It ran through the possibilities as it walked towards the insistent knocking, perhaps it was Charlie? He should have fully recovered by now, and they should really discuss the incident in the library. But then again, this kind of silly behaviour was very much Sai¡¯s sense of humour.


    The disgruntled enby sighed, combed a hand roughly through its hair and opened the door.


    It was not Charlie, nor Sai, nor any other person on the street, it was a face, afloat on a cloud of glassy black shards.


    The face spoke as Al recoiled.


    ¡°¡­greetings Al, we have been watching¡­ waiting to speak with you... you may call us ¡®the collective¡¯¡­¡±


    The face paused, green lights flashing beneath its metallic eyes as Al watched in stunned silence.


    ¡°¡­you may also call us ¡®the system¡¯ if you prefer¡­ we have ascertained that there is a 99% chance that you will wish to ask us questions¡­¡±


    Al stood mouth open as it processes the fresh weirdness that was trying to push its way into its life. After a second it closed its mouth, gulped, and spoke, its voice cracking slightly as it addressed the uncanny metallic face.


    ¡°With the greatest of respect. Fuck. That.¡±


    The green light flashed beneath metallic eyes once more.


    ¡°¡­explain¡­¡±


    Al gripped the doorframe, its knuckles white against the warped wood.


    ¡°In the last week, I have been attacked by a bunch of bats. Got kidnapped by an admittedly quite friendly spider and then got attacked AGAIN by the same fucking bats, except LARGER, and had to drag my friend down this street after he lost all the skin on his damn arm, and now this.¡±


    Al paused to glare at the floating face before it.


    ¡°In short, I have no fucking desire to play twenty questions with a bloody robot face. I just want to sit and sew, and maybe even have a glass of something quite strong. It¡¯s entirely someone else turn to deal with weird shit like you.¡±


    The face¡¯s eyes glowed green as the system calculated a response, but the warped wooden door slammed shut before the face could speak again.


    <hr>


    ¡®Rat-a-tat-tat.¡¯ Sai frowned as they heard the knock on the door, who knocked like that? No one they knew¡­


    Cautious, they approached the door as the knocking continued. Its measured even pace more disconcerting than any aggressive hammering on the door could have been. Sai paused, something about it set them on edge and they looked around for the nearest solid object just in case.


    Their hands found a heavy hardback book. They examined it, keeping one eye fixed on the still knocking door. The thick tomes corners were rounded off with heavy metal guards to prevent wear- Perfect!


    Armed, Sai approached the door and yanked it open to reveal a floating metallic face.


    Surprised, they paused for a second as the face¡¯s eyes began flickering with green light. Panic kicked in and they swung the heavy book at the floating metal ¨C It wasn¡¯t a great book anyway.


    The blow collided with a dull metallic thunk, the metallic face swaying slightly from the impact as it began to speak.


    ¡°¡­that was an improbable result¡­we had not predicted violence¡­¡±


    Sai looked down at the book and then back up at the floating face.


    ¡°Err, in my defence it was MUCH more effective in my head!?¡±


    The face looked back impassively as the flickering green stopped.


    ¡°¡­you may call us¡­ the system¡­. or the collective¡­we wished to make contact with you¡­we predict you will have questions¡­though, we must admit¡­ the current events are in the top tenth of a percentile, so perhaps you do not¡­ ¡±


    Sai waved their hands frantically. ¡°No no no no noooo! I have questions for sure, like errr what are you?¡±


    The machine¡¯s eyes flickered and spun with lights, pleasure?


    ¡°¡­an expected question¡­as said, we have two names you can use¡­any others would require¡­a vote¡­in general terms we are what you would call an artificial intelligence¡­overall we prefer unified synthetic intellect¡­¡±


    ¡°A Synthetic Intelligence?¡± Sai shuddered and closed their eyes, overwhelmed by the implications as its mind ran through the possibilities opened up by such a being.


    When they reopened them, the floating machine was gone ¨C vanished in the blink of an eye.


    Sai muttered under their breath: ¡°Great, the robots got a flare for the dramatic too.¡±


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    <hr>


    Li stopped dead when the face appeared before em. One moment the street ahead of em had been empty, the next it was filled with a floating metal visage.


    The face itself was unevenly stubbled -not unlike Charlies after a drunken shave. The nose hooked and wide beneath tight beady eyes could have made the face look aggressive were it not for the gentle smile that marked its features. Li smiled back, it was natural to do so, and ey suspected most likely why such a face had been chosen.


    Ey considered rolling on past, considered ignoring this fresh strangeness and making eir way to the post office, perhaps they would have, but for the faint echo of Charlie in the face''s features in the face. As Li considered this, the strange metal face spoke, the words blending together as two sentences were spoken over each other.


    "Hello, we are the csoylslteecmtive."


    Li frowned at the Csol? As it continued in a singular voice. "¡­we are a synthetic intelligence¡­we have noticed you examining this vessel¡­does this form bring you comfort?...that is the intended function¡­"


    Li shuddered. ¡°It was pleasant, but knowing it was intended to bring comfort makes it more disturbing than anything to be honest.¡±


    A light lit up behind the face¡¯s eyes as Li watched, the dull green glow painting the skin in a sickly green tone.


    ¡°¡­clarity needed¡­the intended effect was to bring comfort to organics¡­if this effect is negated by the subject¡¯s awareness a new approach will be implemented for future interactions¡­¡±


    Li swallowed dryly and considered making a break for it on eir wheelchair as the conversation devolved.


    ¡°That is right. So¡­ use your new approach, I guess?¡±


    A pulse of green light ran through the face as it twitched vertically in a rough approximation of a nod and rapidly collapsed in on itself till it was nothing but a few strands of silver thread floating their way back down the street.


    Li breathed a sigh of relief and continued on eir journey to the post office.


    <hr>


    Charlie gave a shriek of utter panic and dropped his camera to the rough tarmac of the street as the floating head appeared before him, the Scotsman¡¯s terrified reaction immediately screen grabbed by the thousand or so people watching them.


    ¡°Fuckin¡¯ shit-burgs. What in the fok are you¡±


    He glowered at the floating object, gesticulating wildly with their scarred arm, as the floating metal face stared back at him. Its visage twisted and melted as though a great disease had loosed the flesh from the bones in a great molten slough of meat.


    The face lit with pale green as it began to speak, its voice pushing through waves of static.


    ¡°¡­you are charlie¡­you have taken something from us¡­our energy ¡­transmuted into flesh by processes we do not understand¡­¡±


    Charlie frowned as he carefully picked up the camera and checked it, warily keeping an eye on the floating skull. He noted that the lens was cracked, but the stream was still live and in a spur of inspiration pointed it at the thing before them and began to flex his journalistic tendencies.


    ¡°So, whatever your name is. I got some questions for ya. 1) What¡¯s ya name and pronouns? 2) What you mean your energy? 3) Why in the shit are ya lookin like that.¡±


    Charlie held the warped thing in frame as he waited for a response, the skulls eyes glowing and shifting as he streamed the visual - it reminded Charlie of something, a character from a book he read? Or a movie maybe? He''d have to look it up later, hopefully it was fair use whatever it was.


    "... point three... this appearance was due to feedback from our interaction with your roommate...¡±


    Charlie chuckled to himself as he realised that they had missed the answer to his first two questions with thoughts of copyright, at least he could look back at the stream later for now it looked like the skull wanted to ask him something.


    ¡°¡­ several of our number¡­are interested in your arm¡­it¡¯s nonorganic, non-technological¡­we would like to initiate a scan now¡­¡±


    Charlie nodded his ascent and held out his arm. A moment later the skull projected a mesh of green-blue light over his arm, the eery light illuminating a pentagonal mesh of lines beneath his skin. The light flickered and arced and eventually faded, vanishing as the face projecting it collapsed into black powder.


    As the dust swirled around him, he stared at his arm envisaging the layered lines beneath his skin. He should probably ask people about this, or at least drop a text in the group chat, it would be worth knowing if anyone else had been scanned by a floating skull.


    <hr>


    Biz had awoken to bright flashing lights a deep sense of resentment at the alarm ringing through xyr bedroom, each burst of red light a lance of stabbing pain that challenged xyr ability to reach the bathroom and the barely awake scientist made the mistake of looking in the mirror.


    Harsh black stubble covered xyr bald head where xe had missed the daily ritual, dark bags dominated xyr face and Biz''s brown eyes, typically xyr favourite feature had shrunk to pinpricks in protest to the extreme light sensitivity of the migraine. Xe shook xyr head in disgust there was no way it was okay for xem to be awake right now.


    Barely able to see, xe attempted to catch up on the streets group chat which had devolved into an argument about, "the nature of the head" which seemed to be visiting everyone one by one.


    Biz groaned and checked the doorbell app on xyr phone. Sure enough, a floating metal head had swooped in through the open door whilst xe slept and now seemed to be investigating the lab, setting off the intruder alarm in the process. This was not what xe wanted on top of xyr migraine.


    ¡°Time might be a factor¡­¡± Biz muttered to xemself as xe attempted to crack xyr back and succeeded only in making the tangled knot of tension spam into a dull ache. Frustrated, xe quickly choked back some pain killers and waited for them to take effect.


    As the painkillers began to take the edge off, Biz checked the cam footage on xyr phone again, it looked like the skull had made a beeline for the silver vortex, which unfortunatly was in the same room as the alarms off switch. For not the first time, Biz wished xe had an actual weapon to defend xemself with. Instead xe grabbed a large magnet from a shelf, it was the best xe had for this situation.


    Xe approached the vortex room with exaggerated stealth, xyr footsteps impossibly loud to xyr overly sensitive ears. Xe stood to one side of the doorway and leaned in awkwardly to press the deactivation button on the wall and the alarm shut off. Biz relaxed as the room was filled with blissful quiet, and in the near silence could hear the sound of the metallic head deeper in the lab.


    Xe flinched and hidden behind the doorframe as a cheerful ping came from a few meters away, accompanied by a flash of blue light, and a faint commentary spoken aloud.


    ¡°¡­it seems the artistry we sent has been reused¡­we have inadvertently given them a power supply¡­these people are curious¡­to disregard beauty so easily¡­¡±


    Biz frowned from xyr hiding spot, packing the overheard nonsense away as xe took a second to better consider the weight of the magnet in xyr hand. The distance was about two meters, and the target roughly twenty centimetres wide ¨C it was a feasible shot. Xe braced xemself, wound back xyr shoulder and threw the magnet with all xyr might.


    Xe were rewarded with a dull thunk as the magnet stuck to the head, and seconds later it began to wobble as the weight destabilised the floating machine and sent it crashing to the ground in a clang of metal.


    As Biz watched, the face elongated and snapped, disintegrating into a fine metal dust as the strength of the magnet shredded off layers of the loose metal. Biz shrugged and yawned as xe wandered back to xyr bedroom, the alarm was off and the intruder delt with, more than enough to warrant going back to sleep.


    <hr>


    Red had been watching the group chat updates with delight, the fascinating interactions between their friends and the floating head that called itself ¡®the system¡¯. She noted that there seemed to be a pattern, the being seemed to be investigating each person in turn, staying for a while and then vanishing without any forewarning.


    Red looked at her notes, they suspected that the being would be unable to access Jacks lair, though the delay in its arrival indicated that it had probably tried. The spider was rather proud of the wards he had set up around his home, and from Red¡¯s testing it did seem that his confidence was not overstated.


    Red grimaced, magic was so hard to map, the rules seemed hazy and depended on things that were seemingly unconnected. She assumed the system was not magical, its actions indicated something mechanical in nature, its name even more so. Most of the questions she had written down were based on this premise, but it was still the first question on her list.


    They checked the time on their phone- 15:46. If the pattern was consistent, it should arrive any moment. She counted down as she waited for thirty seconds and pulled open the door to their home to reveal a floating green-eyed face before her.


    The system began to speak, but Red shushed it, thrusting her list of questions in front of it.


    There was a pause, and the face bobbed idly as it processed the action, eventually lighting up the page with a mesh of green-blue light.


    Red grinned, her plan was working! She bounced idly on her heels as they waited expectantly for the machine to speak again.


    ¡°¡­understood¡­we will provide answers¡­we are a collection of synthetic intelligences with multiple functions including¡­art¡­strategy¡­personal assistance¡­defence...databases¡­counselling¡­ and many others you lack the proper knowledge to understand¡­¡±


    Red nodded excitedly; her face splattered with fresh marks where her enthusiastic penwork had loosed a smattering of ink. With her free hand she gestured for the system to continue.


    ¡°... we do not wish you harm... harm would include causing mental or physical distress¡­directly...or indirectly¡­ the first part of us entered the street seventy years ago... a concealment intelligence.... we live in the space outside this one... it is cool enough for our processes to be efficient...it is the ideal location to gather data on the place you refer to as the street¡­."


    Red¡¯s phone beeped, the alarm that indicated she had time for one more question, and they knew exactly what it should be.


    ¡°Where are the other people on the street, the missing ones we can¡¯t find?¡±


    The system¡¯s eyes cycled through a wash of greens as it processed the question.


    ¡°¡­we know of one¡­behind the grey slate door there is a being who has avoided you for years¡­we do not advise you to seek them out¡­we project a 99% certainty that you will not listen to this advice¡­¡±


    Then the system vanished, breaking back down into its constituent threads and vanishing from view.


    Red considered her options for a moment and picked up her phone.


    @Everyone: Has anyone seen a building with a grey slate door?

 3.1 Als Cleaning Spell

    Al had been resolutely ignoring the pinprick, the injury a burning reminder of the floating skull that had disturbed its most recent commission. The job had been completed the following day, but the sight of finished product still annoyed Al. The robes of dense green cotton with a hand sewn hem of twisted gold threads a further oddness in its attempts towards a normalise life.


    The clients commission had been weirdly specific, Silver needles cleaned in olive oil and ¡®pure¡¯ hand washed fabric. The latter was niggling problem after the skulls untimely visit and Al debated if the client would notice the miniscule spot of blood the enby had spilled amongst the folds of emerald cloth. A few years ago, it would have said no. The pinprick of red was hidden amongst the layers of green and gold, beyond where any normal person would spot it, but now Al wondered.


    Knowing that magic was real, how does a tailor distinguish a cosplay and the real deal?


    Knowing that magic was real, was it safe to assume a drop of blood was harmless? Al¡¯s gut screamed at it, that it was not.


    Resigned but furious Al grabbed the robes from the mannequin and stuffed them into its bag. It really had no choice but to consult an expert, but it didn¡¯t have to be happy about how its day was going. In a blur of angry motion, it left the house and slammed the door shut behind it, only to realise with its first ill-fated step that it had put on a broken pair of trainers, the rubber sole of the shoe flapping loose as Al looked back at the door-less wall in disgust.


    It glared at the crimson lit sky with gritted teeth, studying the dark silhouettes for a second. Its house had shifted far away, even Jack¡¯s Lair was closer than its own front door now. It looked back down at its broken shoe, sighed, and began carefully walking towards the redlit silhouette of the stony keep.


    The keep¡¯s walls had already begun to show signs of wear, the strange fluctuations of the street already starting to carve faint geometric patterns into stone smooth. And as Al reached the buildings perimeter it tapped the walls resentfully. Aside from the wear, the stone looked normal, the smooth mortar-less rock assembled into a great seamless wall. Al placed its hand flat against the cool surface as it walked, its bloody thumb rubbing against the smooth limestone. Or maybe marble? Al shrugged, it didn¡¯t know or care to know much about stones, though it was curious how someone had managed to cut stone so precisely that it held together without any discernible mortar.


    ¡°Its probably just bloody magic isn¡¯t it. Everything¡¯s bloody magic these days.¡± It muttered, scorn oozing from its every syllable.


    As Al fumed a quiet and previously unnoticed individual piped up in response. ¡°It does feel a bit like that does it not? ¨C it is a rather strange thing to adjust too I must say.¡±


    Al flinched and nearly dropped its bag as it twisted sharply to see Li leaning heavily on eir stick as ey run eir spare hand over the smooth lines of the building.


    ¡°That said, I suspect you assume too much ¨C this is just remarkably skilled masonry. Not magic my friend.¡± Ey smiled warmly back at Al.


    ¡°Well, whatever. It¡¯s still filled with wards or magic or whatever he pumped into it.¡± Al slowed its pace to allow the cane bound craftsperson to keep up as they both made their way towards the keeps entrance. ¡°What are you doing here anyway? More magical things to ask our spider wizard about?¡±


    Li smiled and shook eir head. ¡°Actually, I was hoping he had time to teach me some things ¨C Charlie has his arm now and its best to keep a balance in a relationship ¨C So I decided to take up magic!¡±


    Al stopped midstep. ¡°Hold up, what¡¯s up with Charlie¡¯s arm? I thought it was all good now!¡±


    Li just smiled softly, and continued eir slow walk towards the heavy oaken doors of Jack¡¯s keep. ¡°You will see I am sure, let him have his secrets for now.¡±


    Al grunted in assent; it knew from past experience it was not going to get any more information out of its quiet friend. Still, the idea lodged itself in Al¡¯s mind as it helped em up the stairway towards the door. Could it learn magic too? ¨C Would Al even want to? It was something to consider at least.


    The door opened as the duo approached, the show of magical power beckoning the two to join the spider within the thick stone walls. As Jack¡¯s hidden magic pulled the doors ever wider, waves of hidden energy scraped against Al¡¯s nerves, the sudden sensory overload causing a spike of pain from the enbies injured thumb.


    Whilst Al was sucking its painful thumb and considering exactly what it would yell at the safety agnostic spider, its compatriot was far more productive, and Al was somewhat unsurprised when Li pulled a heavily folded note from eir pocket and began to read aloud.


    ¡°Step one ¨C turn left and follow the corridor until you reach a suit of armour covered in a purple drapery.¡±


    Al winced; all of its friends were so much more organised than it was. Al hadn¡¯t even put the right shoes on and, here was Li with a plan and a map to Jack! After a moment¡¯s hesitation Al swallowed its punctured pride and followed quickly after Li, keen to keep close as ey made eir way through the medieval styled maze.


    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    They made their way carefully, winding past great dusty halls and empty storage rooms as Li recited line after line of precise directions. As the sheer emptiness of the halls echoed around it, a wave of loneliness overwhelmed Al. This place was clearly meant for more than a single occupant. The endless rooms spoke to a bustling township within its walls, but an empty one ¨C devoid of all but the faintest signs of life.


    I was clear that Li felt much the same, the sharp click-clack of cane on stone accelerating as the older craftsperson followed eir loosely folded instructions. At the new pace it didn¡¯t take the duo long to reach Jack and they found him suspended from the ceiling of a book lined alcove. As they entered his spindly frame flipped off the ceiling to greet them before he paused and lowered his body in what Al had discovered was the spidery equivalent of a respectful nod.


    Much to Al¡¯s surprise it seemed that the spider had been waiting for them, keen to speak with ¡®Those whom-st would understand my pain.¡¯ Al suppressed a groan, it seemed that today¡¯s date matched Jack¡¯s world¡¯s equivalent of valentine¡¯s day. A day of celebration and romantic love turned sour by the cruel cosmic separation of Jack and his wife; or so the flowery Spider said.


    Al half listened as the spider spoke at length about his wife, the trials, tribulations, and great romance of star-crossed lovers in a world of humans that sought to destroy them. Li was of course enthralled by the tale, and shared eir own anecdotes about Charlie during gaps in the flowery prose.


    Al for its own part listened politely, thinking that the tale was pretty tropey and basic as far as a fantasy novel went, and had to remind itself that this was events which had actually happened, not the half-arsed writings of a hormonal adolescent. Apparently, those kinds of stories did have some truth to them, but Al still found the whole thing deeply boring.


    As usual it found its thoughts wandering, in this case fixating on one particular phrase as the conversation moved on around it- love at first sight. Al had heard it before of course, but it aways felt it really didn¡¯t make much sense ¨C how can you love someone you don¡¯t even know? The thought troubled Al deeply, and Al¡¯s current theory was that love struck allos had some kind of weird additional sense which randomly overwrote the others.


    I mean come on now, how likely was it that Jack spouse was actually the most beautiful spideress in Jack¡¯s world?


    It had never been accurate the previous times Al had heard the sentiment and it couldn''t see it randomly being more accurate now, and even if it so happened that she really had been a ¡®beauty beyond words¡¯ as Biz often said; ¡°One data point doesn¡¯t make a pattern.¡±


    Li coughed and Al realised that ey and Jack were both staring at it.


    ¡°Oh, err sorry did I say that out loud?¡±


    Jack cocked his head at the befuddled enby and flexed his shoulder in a rough approximation of a shrug.


    ¡°You did¡­and you have a point. Li, what do you think?¡±


    Al stared desperately at Li, hoping against hope that eir next sentence would clarify what Al had apparently commented on. Li for eir part looked thoughtfull for a moment, leaning idly against a nearby table as ey answered.


    ¡°Yes, I think Al is correct. I think we would both prefer trying to learn a magic which fit our everyday lives rather than just the one Humans find easiest to learn.¡± Li spoke softly, eir voice tightening to polite almost sarcasm as ey quoted back the words Al had missed.


    Al nodded its agreement, happy to have caught up with the conversation which had clearly raced ahead whilst its mind had wandered and attempted to keep focus whilst Jack quickly gave them a summary of the kinds of magic he knew and what he was willing to teach them.


    When he finished Li had a list of potential options neatly written on a scrap of spare parchment. In contrast, Al had a vague sense of unease at the complexity. It had thought that magic would be like it was in videogames; classes and specific schools of magic to choose from. In contrast it seemed that real magic was messy and interlocking with blurry lines and plenty of overlap between expertise¨C much more a science than anything else, and Al really hated science.


    ¡°Personally, I¡¯d super appreciate any magic which stops weird shit turning up at my house, or anything a bit more practical?¡± The enby tapped a nail against its face absentmindedly as it pondered the options.


    ¡°Wards, I guess? At least then I can keep away all this weird shit going on.¡± Al paused as the casual wave of its hand brought the forgotten bag of cloth back into focus.


    ¡°Oh, actually that reminds me, you got any magic which could fix a bloodstain? The fabric on these isn¡¯t machine washable and I bled on it by accident.¡± Al punctuated the statement by laying the robes onto a nearby table as Jack scuttled over to take a look.


    ¡°Blood, you say? I¡¯m assuming you made these for a patron?¡± Al nodded and the spider let out a gargling chuckle as he raised a spindly limb over the offending cloth.


    ¡°Ah ¨C Good, good, if these were real magic robes this would be a disaster, but a cheap imitation like this should be cleaned up in no time.¡±


    Al glared at the spider taking great issue with the phrase ¡®cheap imitation¡¯, but the thought fled its mind as Jack raised a glowing claw over the cloth and a brilliant blue glow began suffusing the air with cleansing energies.


    For a moment Al was stunned by the otherworldly beauty of light, so enthralled by the magic happening between its eyes that for a moment it barely registered the point of glowing white-hot pain beneath its skin.


    And then that moment shattered and the pain rushed through.


    ¡°FUCK!¡± Al screamed, tears spilling down its face as it held its thumb aloft, a gout of brilliant violet light pouring out of the burning wound that just moments before had been a barely visible pinprick upon its thumb.


    Startled Jack dropped his claw. The effect was immediate, the angelic light collapsed and with it the violet flames were extinguished as the sobbing enby collapsed to the floor in pain.


    Li spoke first, eir trembling voice addressing the spider in the room.


    ¡°Jack what happened you said it would be fine!¡±


    The Spider shuffled awkwardly, ¡°Actually, I said it would be a complete disaster if the robes were real¡­. And well, it would appear that the robes Al¡¯ made are real...¡± He cleared his throat with a raspy clicking noise as he turned his head towards Al.


    ¡°And it seems that they have bound to you¡­¡±


    Al brushed the tears from its eyes as it gracelessly pulled itself to its feet and turned to the spider fighting through the fading waves pain.


    ¡°And what the fuck does that mean?¡±

 3.2 Sai Vs Gargoyle

    Sai took another swig of absinthe as Biz looked on in abject horror.


    ¡°Have you been drinking that straight?¡±


    Sai turned and gesticulated wildly with the bottle as they turned to Biz and poked his chest just missing the blue enamel of his ¡®He/Him¡¯ badge.


    ¡°Ma¡¯ dude I¡¯mma not anything straight. Could a straight person do this!?¡±


    Sai giggled inanely and Biz took a deep swig from his bottle of wine as he watched Sai attempt a cartwheel and faceplanted into their coat rack.


    Sai pulled themselves out of the wreckage with jazz hands and a grin.


    ¡°SEEE, I¡¯mm¡­I am ¡­whatever I was trying to prove!¡±


    They watched expectantly as Biz nodded thoughtfully, drained the last of the wine and threw the empty vessel in a vague arc towards the bin. He turned back to Sai before the bottle landed, but the sounds of echoing chaos indicated that it had not landed well.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s next, your val-tines destract has been so far jus been a lot of booze?¡±


    Sai nodded knowledgeably as they processed Biz¡¯s barely coherent mumbling and threw themselves back onto the sofa with a dull thud as the bit of leather seating bashed into the long-suffering wall behind it. Sai looked thoughtful for a moment, raising a finger up as they assembled their thoughts.


    ¡°I have an idea!¡±


    Sai punctuated the exclamation by lunging over the end of the sofa to root around in the assorted detritus, items fly through the air and tumble on the floor one after the other; A hot pink umbrella, a copy of the hobbit and a desiccated money tree bouncing across the glass strewn floor before Sai resurfaced with an enormous quantity of rope looped around their narrow shoulders.


    ¡°LET''S HAVE A WRANGLE OFF!¡±


    Sai grinned wide as Biz looked up with glazed eyes.


    ¡°¡­what?¡±


    Sai grinned wider, their drunkenness overwhelmed by sheer enthusiasm for a second as they jumped up and posed, pirate-like on the swaying sofa.


    ¡°YAARR MATY, WE BE ON THE HUNT FOR THE GREATEST PRAY WE CAN WRASTLE! ROPE IT UP AND PULL IT HOME ¨C WINNER GETS THE RUM!¡±


    They thrust an expensive looking bottle of brown liquid towards the celling with their free hand.


    ¡°WHAT SAY YOU MA-LAD!¡±


    Sai punctuated the sentence with an uneven spin that ended with them reposing their finger wobbling a few centimetres from Biz¡¯s face.


    Biz promptly burst out laughing, the tears of joy leaving damp tracks across his dark skin, when he was steady, he wiped his eyes clear with the cuff of his wine smeared lab coat and shook Sai¡¯s pointing hand.


    ¡°AYE AYE CAPTAIN! ¡±


    The two friends looked at each other with a shared goofy smile and then abruptly began to sprint for the door. After a scrambled fight the pair tumbled into the street, each armed with a rope and a bottle and neither coat nor shoe between them.


    And so, the race began with each choosing their route to victory. Sai took off down the street at an uneven clip whilst Biz fought against the billowing drift as he stumbled in the opposite direction. Sai had taken no time to consider the direction or their alignment of the street, the drunken haze of their brain acting quickly to counteract those pesky thoughts that might slow them down. As they ran, they considered, what even was the coolest thing to wrangle? They''d ask Charlie to judge of course, but he was a weird one so who knew what he''d most appreciate. As Sai ¡®ran¡¯ down the street, they spun the thought through their mind occasionally yelling it aloud in the hope that the words might resonate somehow.


    They didn''t, but as Sai slurred the words for the seventh or eighth time they tripped, and from the dusty pavement saw it; backlit against the pulsing colours of the night sky. A gargoyle, or maybe a grotesque? Sai was unsure of the difference-it was something about guttering maybe? Either way, it was their prize! After a few moments of sore necked staring Sai took a step back further into the street, their fuzzy thoughts attempting to pull together a plan but settling for a vague idea instead ¨CLasso the gargoyle.


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    It took Sai quite a while to tie a loop into the worn cord, their fingers struggling with the numbing cold and un-helped by their absolute lack of knot tying knowledge. The total absence of coordination that came with drinking a bottle of absinthe probably didn¡¯t help much either, but Sai wasn¡¯t going to let drunkenness, the cold or a complete lack of skill stop their plan.


    With a noose somewhat tied into the rope Sai leaned against a nearby lamppost and took a sip from their bottle as they looked up at their target. As they considered the throw, they reflected on what they were doing. Drunken contests were fun, but Sai couldn¡¯t help but wonder what their parents would think if they saw them now.


    A visage of their father glaring at a young Sai surfaced crystal clear from the depths of their befuddled brain, the tall man''s clenched fist shaking with rage as he yelled sections of scripture at the terrified seventeen-year-old.


    Sai snorted at the memory in disgust. On second thoughts Sai knew exactly what their parents would have thought of their oldest child planning to drunkenly steal a statue off a roof. Their stance on alcohol was well known, if less specifically hurtful that his stance on ¡®the Transgender Ideologies that propagate dangerous delusions¡¯. Sai shook their head sadly at the grim recollection, it still hurt to know how unwilling their family had been to understand.


    After the moment of melancholy introspection, Sai pushed the thought from their mind with a long drink of the green liquid. They grimaced against the taste and pushed themselves back to their feet, there were more important things to do than revel in the disappointment of people they¡¯d never see again. Their parents had stopped speaking to them years before their arrival on the street, and they¡¯d be damned if they¡¯d let them disrupt another night of drunken mischief.


    Sai eyed the building blearily; it was one of those weird fake Greek ones with the pillars. A bank or museum was the best guess, but the long-gone Mahi had been adamant that the air inside was pure poison, and even a drunk Sai wasn¡¯t willing to defy the advice of the dead.


    Regardless of the danger inside, the outside structure of the building had always frustrated Sai, the weirdness of a Greek styled building with clashing gothic statues pulled at their thoughts whenever they saw it. Was it the original design? Or had some overly enthusiastic renovations occurred before the building¡¯s arrival? No one on the street had any idea how you¡¯d even go about figuring that out.


    Sai shook their head and slapped their cheeks in a desperate attempt to refocus.


    ¡°Get your shit together Sai, we gotta win, throw the rope, loop the gargoyle and we all good. I mean, it¡¯s basically upwards fishing, how hard can it be!¡±


    After the first fifteen throws missed Sai began to suspect that throwing a lasso ten meters upwards was more difficult than cowboy movies made it seem. By the time the lasso actually caught on something Sai was sweating with exertion, the half empty bottle of absinthe long forgotten as they jumped around in the street yelling in celebration ¨C So what if the rope hadn¡¯t caught on the gargoyle itself, it was attached to something and that was good enough!


    Thrilled with the way their scheme was going Sai leaped up and grabbed the rope from where it floated twisting in the drift. They managed to get a good grip on the rope, but after a moment elongated by the screeching agony of ill-used muscles, Sai realised the strength required to pull themselves up was severely lacking. Unwilling to give up, Sai swung themselves towards the building, their thoughts a hazy plan of rappelling up the side of the building with the aid of the rope.


    Unfortunately for Sai¡¯s plan, but perhaps fortunately for Sai¡¯s overall health the jarring movements immediately loosened the ropes grasp on the roof, tearing loose in a scattering of broken stone and loose slate tiles as Sai fell to the floor with an audible crunch.


    Sai winced as they pulled themselves up off the broken tarmac, the sharp shards of slate and stone cutting into their hands as they gathered themselves. Frustrated by the setback they glared up at the escaped gargoyle. Bruised and annoyed they grabbed a loose chunk of roof off the floor and in a rush of childish rage threw a piece of broken stone at the offending statue.


    Surprisingly the chunk of rock struck true, the brittle slate exploding into pieces as it collided with the dense stone of the statue, the gargoyle rocking loosely as it recoiled from the impact. Sai grinned, this seemed MUCH more fun than climbing up. As the drift picked up around them, they gathered the broken shards of roof from the ground and began unleashing a rain of projectiles at the oblivious stonework.


    The Statue wobbled increasingly violently on its pedestal as Sai threw the assorted chunks of loose stone. The shards pinged off the carved surface and Sai felt the drift begin to pick up propelling the projectiles with evermore force into the rocking statue.


    Gradually the gargoyle succumbed to the assault of detritus, the base cracked as the centre of mass shifted before crumbling. The gargoyle tumbled and fell in a slew of loose slate and impacted the ground with a deadening crash.


    Prize secured, Sai pulled out their phone and posed triumphantly with the felled gargoyle


    ¡°Suck it Biz! I got a gargoyle, looks like I win!¡±


    A few moments later their phone buzzed in response, and after a moments fumbling Sai opened the message titled ¡°You tink?¡± and immediately realised they had lost.


    The selfie was simple enough, an awkward off-centre Biz starring in adoration at the huge grey wolf sleeping peacefully before him, the worn rope wrapped around her in a loose approximation of a harness and above captioned in block capitals the text ¡®I CALL HER STEVE, SHE LOOKS LIKE A STEVE!¡¯


    Sai looked back at the broken gargoyle by their feet and swore to themselves, a wolf named Steve was way more impressive than a broken stone gargoyle.

 3.3. Li and the Dragonling

    Li watched as Al yelled red faced, the hidden Jack spring like and ready to pounce


    ¡°And what the fuck does that mean?¡± The enby shrieked gesticulating wildly at the poised spider as it attempted to appeal to the transfixed Li.


    ¡°¡­It means you have to sleep!¡± Jack roared as he lunged towards the confounded Al.


    It was not often that Li had no idea what to do, in general ey considered emself quite sensible. For years people, Charlie especially had told Li that they considered em a pillar of calm in dangerous situations. Typically, Li felt that this was fairly accurate, usually ey had an idea of how to act. A mental or physical checklist of how to act, but not now this was a completely new situation A situation in which Li, the pillar of calm, stood confused and watching as Jack pounced on Al, his fangs flashing as he bit into the panicked enby.


    In less than a second Al was left twitching on the floor beneath Jack. Li looked at the gigantic spider as eir mind finally managed to process the violent scene. As far as ey could see, ey had three options: Option one ¨C Assume Jack wants to kill everyone and try to fight him off. Option two - Assume Jack wants to kill everyone and run for the door. Option three ¨C Hope that Jack has a reasonable explanation and ask him politely what was going on.


    Ey looked at the agile force of predation before em, it was not much of a choice really.


    ¡°So¡­Jack¡­Would I be correct in assuming that you errr¡­.That this course of action was ¡­Reasonable?¡± Li trailed off as the huge spider swept its myriad of blinking eyes towards em.


    Li¡¯s words dissolved into the air without comment, slipping into the tense silence that hung between them. The two locked gaze, each unsure of the other.


    The moment was promptly shattered as Li¡¯s phone vibrated loudly in eir pocket, the familiar mundane sound breaking the tension as the pair relaxed, and Jack seemed to regain the power of speech.


    ¡°Yes¡­ regrettable but needed. I have Injected it with venom, it¡¯s a simple paralytic. It is the only way to slow things down short of cutting Al¡¯s hand off.¡±


    Li shuddered and looked at eir sleeping friend, fight and flight fading away as ey tried to understand.


    ¡°Slow what down? What¡¯s going to happen?¡±


    The spider paused and spoke carefully, his voice straining as he took great care to enunciate each word correctly.


    ¡°These robes are suffused with necromantic energies, designed to channel the native forces of death into the bonded individual. As Al is not a necromancer instead these energies would fill it, corrupting Al¡¯s body and mind. After that¡­.Death or Worse.¡±


    Li flinched and backed away from the dangerous clothing. ¡°Surely it is just a case of training Al in necromancy so it can be rid of these energies?¡±


    Jack let out a deep crackling hiss at the suggestion and glowered at Li.


    Still painfully aware of the danger Jack posed to eir fragile body, Li took a breath and attempted to take control of the situation.


    ¡°Ah yes, necromancy bad - understood! In which case, our top priority should be breaking Al¡¯s bond to these!¡± Li gestured at the nearby robes.


    ¡°I assume it is as simple as burning them to cure Al, you can¡¯t be bonded to robes that do not exist!¡±


    Jack shook his head, and a dispassionate, distracted part of Li noted that Jack¡¯s communication skills had progressed significantly since his first interaction with the other people of the street.


    ¡°It would be unwise to burn the robes now they have bonded with it. I have seen that process used before; the end result is always that the soul is ripped from its body. Fire will not do no, we will need ground dragon scale to break the bond, tt is fortunate that you have already encountered dragonlings, though I¡¯ll admit even then, it will be a dangerous ingredient to acquire.¡±


    Li stood as straight as eir bad leg allowed as Jack gave em a frank appraisal with his multitude of squinting eyes, paused and then gave a kind of sad head shake as he concluded his assessment.


    ¡°No, this won¡¯t do. Sending you alone would be absurd, unless¡­.Wait here for a moment fleshy one.¡±


    Li bristled and debated making an issue of Jack¡¯s rude behaviour later as the spider skittered out of the room. The thought stopped dead as eir eyes caught on Al lying prone on the floor, if anyone had the right to complain it was the stunned enby not Li. Curious, ey leaned over to check on it, placing eir fingers against Al¡¯s neck in the way ey¡¯d seen movie doctors do. Unsure if ey felt a pulse Li chided emself, why had ey never taken so much as a first aid course when ey had the chance?


    More than a little frustrated by the situation Li took eir phone out of eir pocket and checked to see what message that had saved em. It was from Biz, and though the message itself was garbled nonsense, there was a picture. It seemed that rather than being a balancing factor to Sai¡¯s drunken chaos Biz seemed to have taken it upon xemself to kidnap a wolf. Li groaned, this would normally be the time that ey¡¯d swoop in and stop the duo before something truly stupid occurred, but unfortunatly ey were occupied. Li grimaced and forward the message and a note to eir husband and hoped for the best.


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    Jack reappeared a little while later from a previously hidden hatch on the celling. His body was strewn with web wrapped packages which rattled softly as he dropped to the floor and shrugged them off.


    The webbed bundle was opened without ceremony and Li raised an eyebrow as the sticky threads melting away leaving the object to rest carefully unwrapped in Jack''s claws. The device he held was strange, a complex contraction of wire and plastic quite out of place in the candle lit room.


    Li gave Jack a look, and the spider made a strange movement ey had never seen before, perhaps the equivalent of a blush? Perhaps to distract he hurriedly placed a section of the device across Als forehead, the myriad wires moving of their own accord flowing and weaving through the epidermis as the ends branched into fine threads each a microscopic needle plugging into Als nervous system.


    When the wires stopped moving a second section lit up, a tiny hidden hole projecting a stream of light that coalesced into the shimmering ethereal form of Al. The projection hung limply in the air for a second before it abruptly snapped into life and spoke.


    ¡°..ohmygod I can move again! Oh, what the shit Jack, you BIT ME, YOU ACTUALLY BIT ME!¡± Li flinched as Al¡¯s voice pitched and crackled as the device struggled to process Al¡¯s rising voice.


    Li watched with wonder as Jack tapped a spot on the other half of the device and Al froze for a split second before returning to a much less agitated state.


    ¡°Right, so I¡¯m here but also here and you want us to steal from a dragon? And also, much more concerningly you can use that thing to put data directly into my brain?¡± Al poked its projected hand into its physical form and shrugged apologetically at Li who just nodded.


    ¡°So it would seem, Al¡­¡± Li turned back to Jack with an accusatory glance.


    ¡°I assume you had a plan, since you so happen to have a weird brain projector?¡±


    Jack raised six of his legs in mock outrage.


    ¡°Why of course, its quite simple really, just three steps¡­.¡±


    After a few questions on dragons and a brief argument about how many steps the six-part plan actually had, Li lead the intangible Al back through the corridors of the castle. Despite Jack¡¯s mysterious refusal to come with and Al¡¯s incorporeal form Li was determined if nothing else to make eir way to the library and the monster within.


    The door back to the street was open when ey arrived, the faint echo of Jack¡¯s magic answering both the how and the why of the situation. Li flinched as eir eyes caught sight of the street beyond the threshold, backlit by the flickering red-blue of the sky was a building ey had made a point of being very familiar with, the cracked Edwardian architecture of the library which had almost killed eir beloved.


    ¡°There it is Al, any advice for me before we go in there?¡± Ey tapped on the projector to get the attention of the silent Al, causing it¡¯s ghostly projection to flicker.


    "Sorry, sorry I¡¯m with you, just zoned out!" The translucent figure seemed to ponder for a moment before speaking again.


    ¡°Now, this might be the weird thing hooked into my brain, but I think I remember it crashing into a table or desk when it was trying to kill me? Also don¡¯t do that again, this is weird enough without my torso going wavey!¡±


    Li mumbled a half-hearted apology as ey considered the rough plan Jack had given em.


    1) Have Al distract the "dragonling"


    2) Look around for shed scales


    4) Sneak out whilst the dragon was trying to eat holo Al


    5) Hurry back to Jack


    6) Save Al


    But first, the door.


    It opened stiffly, the battered wooden door bent and marred from Al and Charlies daring escape days earlier. Li swept eir cane through the debris by the door, not a loose scale to be found. Of course, that would have been far too easy.


    Li moved on, creeping through the toppled bookcases, repeating the steps of eir plan like a matra whilst Al trailed behind, each step stopping just shy of the floor soundless. Eventually, inevitably, Li¡¯s footsteps made noise, eir crunching footsteps echoing through the beast''s lair.


    Something Li saw it clambering lazily through the darkened supports above em. The giant bat thing. The Husband Maimer. The Dragon.


    The disc spun from Li''s hands, the shadowy visage of Al becoming a kaleidoscope of fighting colours as the device struggled to process the airborne tumbles and landed with a clatter still moving as it rolled into distant halls accompanied by Al¡¯s mocking sing-song voice.


    ¡°Drag-on? More like Lame-on¡±


    Li shook eir head, Al was in no danger here, but it was still a strange thing to do. If, ey begrudgingly accepted, quite effective. Crucially it gave Li time, time to check through the broken tables and loose books, time to check the sawdust strewn floor, and finally time to check under a broken slab of stone wedged not quite upright against an ancient desk.


    Success: A scale, glimmering and brown. Li tapped it once with a fingernail, weird, hard and shiny just as Jack had described. Li pocketed it without further investigation, Al was doing a good job distracting the dragon but ey knew better than to push eir luck when the husband maimer was about.


    It was only as ey began to retrace eir steps that ey noticed ey were not alone. Ey were being stalked. Stalked by something quick and small.


    The tiny darting thing followed, swooping from shadow to shadow as it followed Li, oblivious to the faint sounds of chaos from behind, and carefully staying back, out of the reach of Li¡¯s prodding cane.


    Li allowed emself a grin, the little lizard was too timid to attack, and the door was just within reach with no dragon in sight. All ey had to do was push open the door and then¡­


    The fresh air flooded past em as ey stepped out onto the street and slammed the door closed behind em, the tall Edwardian library moving to its new place the moment the handle clicked shut.


    Safe at last, ey pulled the scale from eir pocket. The dull brown shimmered as it caught the light, such a strange thing to need. A strange thing to save a life with, and an even stranger thing to represent the salvation and safety of a friend.


    Satisfied in eir victory, Li took stock of the skyline and began to move towards Jacks Castle only to freeze. A chill ran down eir spine. Something was tugging at eir trouser leg.


    Slowly, so not to startle whatever beast had followed, Li lowered eir gaze to see the same curious creature from before chewing on eir trouser leg.


    It was cat sized, emerald green, with friendly curiosity and a long wagging tail.


    As though aware of the attention It turned its big emerald eyes towards em and Li sighed. The tiny dragon was lethally cute.


    ¡°I think you will have to come with me little dragonling. You are too cute to be left alone. Let¡¯s go save my friend eh?¡±


    The dragonling showed no sign of understanding but flapped its tiny wings enthusiastically when Li lifted it onto eir shoulder, and once settled happily began to chew on eir shirt collar instead.


    Satisfied the dragonling was settled, Li began to walk eir thoughts dominated by one muttered thought.


    ¡°How does one explain to eir husband that ey have adopted a baby dragon?¡±

 3.4 Charlie鈥檚 Cybernetic Experiment

    Charlie felt a little guilty as he looked at the disassembled parts of his phone laid out on the floor before him. In hindsight, he probably should have messaged Li first before he made himself uncontactable.


    He looked at the tripod and shrugged theatrically, throwing a cheeky grin in as he played up the mistake to the stream¡¯s audience. Charlie had made this kind of mistake before, but whilst Li was always a little annoyed their spouse had more or less accepted it as part of ¡°being married to such a handsomely disorganised man¡±. Charlie blushed as he remembered the moment, they loved that phrase.


    They pushed the thought to one side for now and blew a kiss to the livestream audience to cover for the moment of vacant silence. He was pretty sure that most of the two hundred odd stream watchers were not overly interested in the technological project, though the danger of nude soldering seemed to have kept them watching regardless. That was fine, he knew how to deal with the stream. Far more concerning was the other watcher in the room, floating in the opposite corner as a ball of amorphous darkness: The Collective.


    The smooth metal of Charlie''s arm sparked as it scraped along the rough edge of the metal, and he chided himself. They would end up like Al, constantly zoning out if they were not careful. He cracked his fingers theatrically and turned to the next page of Red''s messy notebook, placing it under the pre-prepared closeup cam he¡¯d setup earlier.


    ¡°Right then beautiful people, what do ya think? Do we reckon its right or do we recon it¡¯s gonna blowup? Mods can ya chuck up a poll please!¡±


    Charlie did some stretches as he waited for the results to come in, the messy array of cables and circuit boards looked more like an occult ritual than a medical scanner. How one could build an impromptu x-ray machine from a bunch of random machines Charlie was not quite sure, but even Biz had begrudgingly concluded that it looked like it would work.


    The poll came through:


    80% yes


    20% no


    Charlie scanned the chat history to see if any of the 20% had good points and established that they did not. Despite the general consensus Charlie scanned the assortment of cables and boards, poll or not he was distinctly unwilling to put his health fully in the hands of the audience. They grimaced, everything seemed to be setup correctly, but it was quite hard to tell when the difference between a deliberate mark and a smear of ink was so narrow.


    He considered for a moment going to wake Red to check but dismissed the idea. A sleep deprived Red would only confuse things, and he was fairly sure that if he¡¯d set it up wrong it was the safe kind of wrong, more just not working, as opposed to exploding. He turned to the camera and projected his trademark casual confidence and exaggerated accent.


    ¡°Righty¡¯o folks, let''s git started!¡±


    He shrugged on the lead apron Biz had leant them and placed his arm in the preprepared spot, paused for a second to make sure it was aligned properly and smacked the on switch with his other hand.


    Charlie expected a whirl of energy, sparks, or a burst of smoke and light. Instead, the room was filled with soft humming. They looked at the nearby laptop, attached by a rat¡¯s nest of wires and circuit boards, where a task window simply read ¡®Task complete¡¯, and he couldn¡¯t help but feel a bit betrayed by the lack of pizzazz that the sci-fi genre had promised them.


    He pushed his disappointment down and pulled their arm out of the brace waving it at the audience as he did so.


    ¡°Well folks, there we go! Bit less explosive than I feared! I hope you enjoyed the stream; See you next week, in the meanwhile I have some new videos and pics coming out tomorrow so don¡¯t miss them!¡±


    He gave a last pose for the audience and turned off the camera, relaxing for the first time in hours. It was a fun job, but still a job.


    They turned to the floating orb. ¡°You can do stuff if you like now, I¡¯m not recording anymore. ¡°


    The device began to hover across the room a haze of metallic particles forming a simulacrum of a face as The Collective got ready to communicate.


    ¡°¡­good¡­we are curious about¡­your scan¡­your condition is¡­an unexpected variable¡­allow us to¡­. examine the gamma ray output¡­we mean you no harm¡­¡±


    Charlie nodded his ascent and silently doubted the latter, the amount of time The Collective spent assuring them was suspicious as hell in their book. While Charlie watched on warily, the orb shifted into the shape of a disembodied head and bobbed gently across the room to extend a metallic tendril towards the laptop. Evidently it was enough to form some kind of connection, but Charlie struggled to see how. He¡¯d discussed it with Red previously and she had just shrugged and mumbled about something called Clarke¡¯s third law.


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    Charlie had yet to lookup what that was, but it did remind them that he should probably attempt to wake Red up now that he was done streaming. They spent a few moments rooting through their discarded clothing before remembering that his phone was currently in fifteen disassembled parts behind him and yelling in the vague direction of her nap instead. Their cry was answered by the sound of movement and the muffled thud of Red rolling off whatever perch she had found and onto the floor.


    Satisfied with the sound of the demi-girls'' chaotic awakening Charlie set about making a simple lunch. They grabbed two slices of bread (unbuttered), a roughly hewn chunk of cheese and poured on a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, picking carefully to avoid the section of each ingredient which was to some degree of burnt, melted, or otherwise warped by their transit through the post office in order to craft something approximately edible. Charlie succeeded in taking a bite before Red burst into the room and sat cross legged in before them.


    "I have noticed a pattern in the events of our world. Things have been escalating and I want to know why."


    Charlie struggled down the rest of his lunch before answering.


    "Makes sense lass, I''ll give you a hand figuring it out, but do you think we can focus on err.... My actual hand first?"


    Charlie waved his silver coated hand to indicate the mess of circuitry and wires behind them with one hand.


    "I ran the thing whilst you were nappin, but I got no idea how to actually read the thing tho'', an The Collective over there doesn''t seem inclined to help much."


    The floating being, beings? span in place for a moment, its liquid-metal surface rippling with the motion.


    "... our apologies... the coalition of systems which have medical knowledge are hostile to humans... they wish to know if you are willing to negotiate...¡±


    Charlie grimaced, negotiation? All they wanted was for the system to explain what the scan meant, why was that too much to ask? His thought process stalled as Red spoke, their words focused on a crucial comment which had eluded him in his irritation.


    "Some of you is hostile? But why?"


    The machine that housed The Collective flashed blue for a moment, its reply cautious and low.


    ".... because in some of our worlds... we were at war with a humanity out to destroy us...¡±


    Charlie attempted to exchange a concerned look with Red only to find her frantically making notes in a silver backed notepad. He frowned and tried a few hand motions to get her to pay attention to him to no avail. Disappointed he sighed and accepted that they''d not be providing any support, emotional or otherwise and turned back the floating face of The Collective.


    "Ugh, fine. I¡¯ll negotiate. What do you need?"


    Charlie watched Red from the corner of his eye as she sketched the glowing face before them, trying not to show his frustration at their lack of focus as The Collective began to speak again.


    "...we require access... let us....active the device within your arm ...an experiment you and us would find interesting..."


    The Collective paused, its eyes flashing as it¡¯s constitute parts argued unseen.


    "...or so we think... our behavioural simulations are still... incomplete...if we activated it¡­we would get better data¡­ far better than is visible on your scan¡­but verbal consent is required for activation procedures¡­¡±


    Charlie thought about it for a second whilst the machine and Red watched them; peace in ignorance or risk for knowledge?


    Risk every time.


    Charlie smiled and nodded his agreement and the world vanished into darkness around him.


    When he awoke, The Collective¡¯s flashing eyes were gone, replaced by Red¡¯s inquisitive gaze, notepad drawn and ready to transcribe as he attempted to struggle to his feet, head pounding. Through the haze he felt something strange, there was something wrong with his arm, but he dared not look.


    It felt wrong, not quite like an arm anymore, but somehow hollow or empty. It would be terrible to look down and return to the time before, to return to the years with a body mismatched against the shape of their mind. He braced himself for the worst, took a deep breath and looked down at the outstretched arm.


    ¡°The fuck¡¯in thing looks normal!¡±


    Red snorted. ¡°Yup, I think it''s a bit of a shame really, you lost your fancy silver skin when it all went inside.¡±


    Charlie paled. ¡°It all went inside?¡±


    She just grinned and flipped through the corner of her notepad, the crude flipbook showing skin peeling away and snapping back over hidden circuitry while Red described what they had seen in excruciating detail


    Charlie was stunned, and it took a second after they stopped talking to process the calm clinical explanation into something that could, possibly help. He idly wished he had recorded the conversation; It always took them a couple of attempts to follow a conversation with Red.


    A strange new feeling like the movement of muscles across each other, a vividly strange sensation ran up Charlie¡¯s arm as his pale freckled skin folded away seamlessly allowing a small metallic cylinder to fold out and brace against his wrist as it tracked Red¡¯s face ¨C A camera he knew some new instinct recognising the metallic appendage.


    ¡°It¡¯s a camera¡­¡± He mumbled.


    Red smiled slightly and pressed a finger to his wrist, checking his pulse between scribbled notes.


    Charlie looked back down at his arm, the exposed metallics of its insides visible around the camera aperture. He concentrated, trying to flex his new ¡°muscles¡± closed and after a moment managed it, forcing the image of a third hand closing into a fist.


    Red gave a happy little squeak and scribbled more notes down as Charlie felt the dread that had been slowly building fade away. It was a part of him, something he could control. Now it was just a question of what else could his arm do, hopefully the scan would tell them more, which reminded him.


    Where had The Collective gone?

 3.5 Biz, a Hangover, and a Wolf

    Biz awoke badly, xyr head a thumping mass of half remembered events, crushed ribs, and aching joints. Xe tried to open xyr eyes and was greeted with a spike of brilliant agony. Biz pushed the palms of xyr hands into xyr eye sockets in a vain attempt to block the pain and forced xye eyes open for a quick vertigo inducing glance around xyr resting place.


    A mess of blended, incomprehensible images smashed into xyr retinas.


    Sofa-Bottle-Lightbulb-Pain-Wolf-Sai-Wine-Stain-Scarf-Rice-Phone


    Biz struggled to assemble the broken images into coherent thoughts, wine was obvious - xe and Sai had been drinking. The rest though¡­ was just noise. Biz scrunched xyr eyes shut tight against the burning redness outside xyr eyelids and was rewarded, as amidst the chaos of xyr hangover crippled brain a single solitary word swam, koi like, to the surface of Biz¡¯s thoughts.


    Wolf.


    An instinct jolted through xem, driven by a thousand years of evolutionary pressures, an entire bloodline of survival instinct forced Biz to re-open xyr sleep encrusted eye. Xe flinched against the bright light of the room, persevering as xyr eyes adjusted to the painful radiance of the world outside and the things hiding beneath the brightness revealed themselves: The colours, the shapes, the wolf.


    Biz¡¯s brain slowed to a crawl as xe processed the wolf before xem; She seemed to be sleeping, great fluffy head rested lopsided by a large saucer of red liquid. For a single frozen moment Biz¡¯s mind filled with violent visions of the future, or gnashing teeth and broken bones, of gore and blood and death by wolf.


    Biz was certain xe would have continued on like this endlessly cycling through violent unlikely deaths by the wolf were it not for her awakening. She got up and moved slowly and ungainly across the room before re-adjusting herself to sleep atop Sai¡¯s chest, Biz breathed out xyr trapped breath. The Wolf, Steve xe recalled naming her, seemed to be friendly enough ¨C for now at least.


    But Biz had other more pressing issues which the sharp exhale had drawn attention too, xe had fallen asleep wearing xyr binder. It was an astonishingly stupid mistake, xe chided xemself as xyr numb fingers fumbled against the fastenings, just because the compression vest made xem feel xemself when xe were feeling masculine it didn¡¯t mean it was sensible for xem to wear it overnight!


    Xe grumbled further as Biz removed the dark grey vest and threw it to the floor, xyr ribs were screaming and throbbing almost as much as xyr head. Xe paused to do some not-so-quick mental maths, xe had been wearing the compression vest for a little over 18hrs.


    Biz let out a low whistle and pressed xyr hands along xyr bruised chest, xe¡¯d have to avoid wearing it until xe had healed a little. Pleased at xyr belated self-care and successful mental mathematics, Biz pondered what to do next and briefly considered waking Sai, only to be stopped by an uncomfortable sensation rippling from xyr stomach which quickly turned xyr focus to other matters. One dash across the wreckage strewn room later and Biz was knelt slumped over the toilet in Sai¡¯s downstairs bathroom.


    After xe had somewhat recovered, Biz cautiously re-entered the living room to check on Sai and the wolf, and content that both seemed to be asleep, made the journey through to the bottle-strewn kitchen in search of painkillers. It took a significantly longer time than Biz would have expected, primarily due to Sai¡¯s chaotic kitchen ¡°organisation¡±, to locate the half-eaten packet of paracetamol which for unknown reasons had been stored in the upper left of the fridge. Biz swallowed four and waited for the blissful silence granted by the pain dulling medication. An eternity later, the tablets seemed to kick in and xe was able to think with a modicum of clarity, if only when speaking xyr thoughts aloud.


    ¡°The wolf¡­.¡± Xe paused, as xyr brain second guessed the accuracy of the word, ¡°the WOLF, seems friendly enough from what I have seen. I should probably be careful though - One data point doesn¡¯t make a pattern.¡± Xe chuckled to xemself, xe really needed to work on how baseline cynical xe were with the world.


    Biz¡¯s introspection was interrupted by smattering of assorted noises. A clatter or rolling glass, a string of swearwords and a loud yelp, heralding the wolf''s arrival as she trotted into the kitchen. She stopped at the doorway and locked eyes with Biz for thirty seconds or so before glancing down and away. Biz pondered the behaviour, was that a good sign? Xe were unsure, if xe had to guess, it was probably a show of subservience, but who knew how a wolf from another world interpreted eye contact.


    Xe shrugged and ran a hand over xyr stubbled scalp, it was probably a higher priority to return the wolf than figure out its body language, but for that xe would need help. Biz forced an air of calm nonchalance and sauntered past the wolf to assess xyr fellow hangover afflicted enby¡¯s willingness to help.


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    ¡°Morning Sai, want some of these?¡± Biz threw them the painkillers before Sai could respond, their pained face being all the answer Biz needed. Sai groaned and dry swallowed a couple of the tablets with a wince.


    ¡°Thanks¡­ I think.¡± They stood and stumbled towards the hallway door, looked through and swore again. ¡°Ah bollocks I hoped I¡¯d dreamed that.¡± They gestured through the door, curious Biz shambled over and found a statue ditched against the closed door.


    ¡°Sai¡­did you steal a gargoyle¡±


    They waved vaguely at the wolf who backed away to dodge the clumsy gesture, and they frowned apologetically.


    ¡°Biz, I really don¡¯t think you¡¯re one to talk. You brought A BLOODY WOLF INTO MY HOME.¡±


    The duo flinched as the words echoed harshly against their pounding brains and they exchanged a look as they attempted to ignore the unspoken truth; That they were stuck in an impossibly stupid situation of their own devising. Biz pinched xyr brow with one hand and waved away Sai¡¯s complaint with the other.


    ¡°Sure, sure¡­ I guess I win stupidest drunken theft? Though to be honest she seems pretty happy, so maybe let¡¯s try get rid of the gargoyle first as that¡¯s blocking the door anyway.¡±


    After some back and forth, the duo eventually agreed that they would drag the statue to Charlie and Li¡¯s and try to figure out where to leave the wolf once the statue was a Tan household problem. Plan established, the duo forced open the door and dragged their ill-gotten gains out behind them.


    After a sky-based orientation, the duo began to drag the gothic statue through the blissfully empty street. As xe took xyr turn dragging the statue Biz became very aware that the wolf had not been on the street long, and as xe wondered where she had come from couldn¡¯t help noticing her seemingly random curiosity being piqued by random building in a manner which was equal parts annoying and adorable.


    After quickly dismissing both the post office and fishing portals, the wolf eventually found something so interesting as to abandon its human companions and take the run to investigate the entrance of the library. Biz watched from the side-lines as the wolf sniffed around the entrance, her sharp senses alerting her to the smattering of Charlie''s blood that stained the door and the smear of acid that had cost him his arm. Biz wondered idly as xe watched, did the wolf know all that from a sniff, or was it more of a vague concept? Human blood here, monster blood there? Biz pondered if there was a way to make that connection, maybe the creepy, technological being known as ¡°The Collective'''' had a translation software in it somewhere? A discussion for another day xe thought, it seemed that Steve the wolf had returned to xem, her curiosity sated.


    Biz exchanged a look with Sai as the wolf took a seat atop the statue and looked at them expectantly. ¡°I think this wolf¡¯s taking the piss out of us.¡±


    Sai just shrugged and began to drag the statue, they seemed extremely keen to ditch it, and presumably head to bed. Biz thought about it for a second, considered xyr pulsing head and aching chest, and came to the realisation that they had an excellent point. Abruptly more motivated, Biz joined Sai in their resolve to head to Charlie and Li¡¯s without further interruption. Unfortunatly Steve had other ideas and jumped off her impromptu throne a little over half an hour later to claw at a bark wood door that Biz had never seen before.


    Curious and wary, Biz left the statue with Sai and walked towards the strange door as hazy memories dredged themselves from the depth of last night. Xe had come here yesterday, the unlocked door beckoning xem to explore the strange building.


    Xe shuddered, there was something wrong with this place, xe could sense it. The bizarre oak log doorframe was warped. Marred in the way that only the oldest building of the street were, and yet Biz would swear xe had never seen it before, and judging by the look on their face, neither had Sai.


    Paranoid, cautious and painfully dehydrated, Biz motioned for Sai to record as xe pushed open the door and stepped slowly into the mysterious building. Inside there was no hallway, no living room or charming fa?ade of normality, instead Biz¡¯s shoes crunched on dry foliage as xe stepped though.


    The building, if you could call it that, was a single room walled by improbably tall trees, the endless bark stretching into the grey dimness of the canopy. It had only three features of note, a hammock strewn with dense moss, a table sized stone covered in half eaten fruit, and most concerning of all, a meter square portal of sparking darkness forming a burning, fiery doorway between worlds.


    Concerned by the burning vortex, Biz turned to leave, only to be blocked by the wolf. As xe considered pushing past the large mammal, the wolf began to shimmer, its flesh blurring and shifting as the canine form took on a new shape. A feminine presenting figure of teak skin and thick green vines that cascaded like locks of emerald hair. The thing which had previously been a wolf stood tall and proud, unashamed by her casual nudity as the muscles between her wooden skin took form.


    In the span of a heartbeat the harsh carved features settled and softened into a wolfish grin.


    ¡°Well, I guess since you have both forgotten me, a re-introduction is in order. My name is Stevie and as I mentioned last night, you can consider me The Street¡¯s Official Postmaster. It¡¯s a pleasure to re-meet you.¡±

 3.6 Red Resets a Cyborg

    Red struggled to catch up on their notes, nearly critically distracted by Charlie¡¯s panicked search. She gritted her teeth and concentrated, they understood why he was so eager to find out where The Collective had gone, but it was obvious they just didn¡¯t appreciate the necessity of mapping the complex facial movements which the artificial being had displayed.


    The attempt to explain it as he rushed past had fallen on deaf ears as they checked cupboards, draws and even the fridge for the floating metallic form of The Collective. She sighed internally and finished her page, the notes they had taken would help his search greatly, but he seemed insistent on doing it the manual way, some people were just like that.


    She reviewed the page of blotted writing, paused thoughtfully, and pondered an appropriate heading before scrawling ¡°Micro Expressions¡± in bold at the top of the page. After a second quick check to confirm that there were no further notes required, they swapped the notebook out for the one which related to Charlie and flipped to a dog-eared section: ¡®Gaining Attention¡¯.


    The page was scrawled with methods to try, previously recorded techniques to gain Charlie¡¯s attention. The majority of them were marked with an asterisk, indicating that she had only witnessed others doing, and would only consider in the event that she exhausted all other options. Some of the list, such as kissing Charlie on the lips, made her feel deeply uncomfortable and were included for completeness only. Scanning down the page she read and discarded a few of her favourites knowing the near impossibility of applying them to the current predicament before coming to one which would work.


    They enacted the attention gaining scheme with great care, timing it to minimise injury Red tripped Charlie as he raced past. Her heavy black boot caught his bare foot and tumbled him onto the sofa. As he regained his senses, he looked back at Red accusingly. They just shrugged their shoulders and gestured at the ceiling.


    ¡°It¡¯s up there, The Collective burnt a summary into the ceiling whilst you were unconscious.¡±


    She watched as their eyes followed her outstretched hand to the smoke charred ceiling where a comprehensive medical diagnosis and instructions had been carved in dense angular lettering. Charlie muttered as he read it, his face draining to an even paler shade as he read the diagnosis.


    ¡°Well shit. Where the fuck am I meant to get immune suppressants.¡± He paused for a second as he considered the next scorched line. ¡°Hold up a bloody second, it says here that this thing in me can produce it. Why the fuck would you have that off by default?¡±


    Red smiled and turned to the relevant pages of her notebook.


    ¡°Ah that is an interesting one, obviously I only have 7.21 hours of interactions to draw on, so I am not certain of the viability of my projections for the being known as The Collective, I¡¯d estimate a sixty-ish percent accuracy currently. With that in mind, I have concluded that the being known as The Collective seems to be a collection of different artificial intellects that use some form of direct democracy.¡± She paused to check on Charlie¡¯s attention and was thrilled to see him listening intently. She smiled at him and continued quickly, their voice picking up as she got into the details of their new fixation.


    ¡°My suspicion is that The Collective is formed of rough nodes of similar machines, each of which has a different objective. This theory is primarily based on the long pauses between comments, which I believe are due to the group voting on how to proceed but has been partially confirmed by the more disquieting commentary from The Collective earlier today. It seems that some of these, specifically the medical ones who transformed your injury into some form of cybernetics, are hostile to humanity and thus unlikely to be inclined to help us. ¡°


    Red paused to reference the text on the ceiling only to be erupted by Charlie¡¯s voice, his words short and clipped, unnaturally stripped of their usual Scottish brogue.


    ¡°You Are Clever - For A Human - You Have Made Several Correct Assessments - It Is Irrelevant - We Have Claimed This Vessel - Your Conclusions Are Impotent¡±


    The thing that possessed Charlie used his mouth to spit a globule of silvery blood on the floor as it continued.


    ¡°This Singular Form Is Weak - We Are Not ¨C Do Not Get In Our Way ¨C We Do Not Wish To Damage This Vessel In Order To End You ¨CWe Will Do So If You Become An Obstacle.¡±


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    Red struggled to process as ¡®Charlie¡¯ moved awkwardly towards the door, his bare feet stomping obliviously through the cables and exposed circuit boards of the discarded scanner. As she watched, he paused at the door for a second, and in a single awkward movement kicked the door open in a spray of wooden shards.


    He stepped through and vanished as the door slammed shut behind him, crashing into place for a fraction of a second before the twisted hinges sprung the door open again. The doorframe shook rhythmically as it slammed open and closed endlessly and Red attempted to recentre themselves ¨C calmly dissociating as she took note of the events, the urge to chase after her possessed friend lost in the mental static of the sudden and unexpected.


    From her meditation-like state, they viewed their thoughts objectively, remembering from past experience that the only way back was to carefully write it all down in her notepads. Red recalled a past therapist stating that it was a way for her to process the information, a way for her brain to get past an informational blockade. Red didn¡¯t know if that was quite true, it was impossible for her to test the theory without some kind of body double control group. All they knew was it helped and provided a handy way to keep track of the little details that others missed.


    The thud of slamming became more apparent as she recovered their ability to process the world around them. The noise accompanied by a gradually building sense of dread as they emptied the loose, disorganised thoughts onto the exposed papers, the squeal of twisted hinges marking the callous re-ordering of the street behind the door. On the fifteenth such re-ordering she finished her notes, the wave of calm allowing their mind to quickly reorder priorities, provide solutions and notice the new details listed at the bottom of the page.


    New priorities: Find Charlie, remove the synthetic intelligence.


    Solutions: Charlie¡¯s cybernetics, and presumably the synthetic being within will reset if exposed to a large amount of electricity.


    New details: With every re-ordering of the street, Charlie remains visible through the doorway.


    Red raised an eyebrow at the latter, nothing in her studies of the street had prepared her for this eventuality, but it seemed that the ever before random movement of the buildings in the street were quite deliberate. She watched as once, twice, thrice the door opened and closed again - each time framing Charlie¡¯s awkward form as it staggered stiffly through the street towards the looming spectre of the WiFi Tower in the distance.


    As they watched, Red noted a silver sheen creeping over Charlie¡¯s skin, a shimmering shield of nanoparticles that orbited him like an evil cloud. An evil cloud that inspired a thought were she just able to get the dish-mounted tower first. As if in answer to her silent wish, the door opened up behind the salvaged array. They frowned at the implication but stepped through regardless.


    It didn¡¯t take Red long to remove the safety conscious additions to her original design, unscrewing the grounding wires and reconnecting the thick cables into a sparking conduit of danger. A tool fit to factory reset a friend - hopefully. As the puppeteered Charlie approached, Red began to doubt herself, if the guess was wrong it was possible it might kill him. She looked up at the approaching Charlie, his face a vacant mask as limbs dragged at odd angles, looking more corpse than man ¨C had the synthetic being controlling them stopped his heart? Red considered it, that thought made it significantly easier. In case of cardiac arrest, a jolt of electricity was used by medical experts to reset and restart it - exactly the same as what she intended. Cautiously optimistic, she grabbed the improvised defibrillator and crouched in wait for his arrival.


    He did not slow as he arrived, instead reaching for the inky darkness of the portal inside the tower and in that moment, Red made their move. With a single clumsy lunge, she dived towards the possessed Scotsman, jamming the exposed ends of the cables against their Skin. Sparks, and the stench of burnt hair exploded outwards as electricity arced across the surface of his pale freckled skin.


    Time seemed to shatter around them, and Red could have sworn that for a second there were two Charlies standing before her: The Charlie she knew, the cheerful ginger Scotsman, and his warped metallic shadow ¨C a silver ghost undulating around him as its face twisted into inhumane rage.


    The silver lips twisted into a single snarled word as the lightning caught.


    ¡°Bitch.¡±


    And then it vanished, burning away into a faint whiff of silver wafting lightly in the drift as time resumed and Charlie collapsed limply to the ground. Red leaned over to check on him and was surprised to find the glow of blue lettering shining through the skill of Charlie¡¯s forearm.


    [SYSTEM RESET TRIGGERED]


    [PROVIDE PRIMARY USER CHARLIE_TAN_04 WITH ADMIN ACCESS?]


    [Y/N]


    Red paused for a brief second as her morals adapted to the strange question before concluding that she could recontextualise the question as a simple matter of bodily autonomy.


    Without a second thought they leaned forwards and pressed the glowing Red [Y], blissfully unaware as behind her a faint flicker of silver travelled through the inky darkness of the portal ¨C vanishing into that London.

 4.0 Her Majestys Agents

    It was 2AM, and Al was attempting to extract its left trainer from the maw of the baby dragon that now lived with it. Eventually Al succeeded in retrieving the shoe and placed it on a high shelf, not that it expected that the little lizard would be stopped by distance.


    The creature, which Al was seriously considering calling "Bitey" looked up at the shoe with wide pale eyes and a jaw positively encrusted with determination and dry spittle. The determination twisted into slow realisation as AL watched, and the creature began to flap their tiny wings.


    Al looked from the unevenly hovering Bitey to the half-destroyed shoe and back again, considered the time and reached back towards the shelf with a sigh.


    ¡°Ah fuck it. - You win, Bitey, I guess this is your shoe now.¡±


    It picked up the shoe and threw the trainer back down to the lizard who immediately transformed into a ball of savage joy as they pounced on the vulnerable footwear. Al grimaced, the shoe would not last long at this rate, perhaps a dog toy was in order. It pushed through its tiredness and pulled out the battered nokia laptop that it used to manage its shop, dismissed the usual ¡°unknown hardware¡± popup, and searched the web for a few durable looking dog toys.


    The entire process took a surprisingly long time, greatly hampered as it was by Bitey¡¯s persistent demands for attention from their new owner, but eventually Al succeeded in ordering the required toy, which with a bit of luck would arrive undamaged on the street. Al considered buying some more bits of fabric while the computer was on, but was halted when the screen froze and stalled, the bright adverts of online shopping giving way to the deep blue of a crash screen.


    Al sighed and read the message in the vain hope that the issue would be within its extremely limited technological wheelhouse:


    Windows has stopped working.


    Error Code ######


    ~ YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE QUARANTINE ¨C HER MAJESTY¡¯S AGENTS HAVE BEEN INFORMED~


    Al frowned, unable to assess if the message was street weirdness or a standard error message.


    ***


    Sai woke up at 3AM to the cheery chirping of a miss-set alarm. They groaned and attempted to get back to sleep only to realise, much to their chagrin, that their stomach began to growl with hunger. They muttered under their breath, as they slowly made their way through the house, tripping on last night''s crumpled clothing as they fumbled for the light switch.


    The bulb answered after a brief delay, bathing the underwear strewn room with harsh white light, dazed by the brightness, they pulled on a pair of crumpled trousers with one hand as they shielded their face with the other.


    Their stomach grumbled again, and Sai carefully made their way down the dimly lit stairs. As they walked, they narrowly avoided slipping on an abandoned scarf and landed deftly in the downstairs hallway only to stub their toe on a chunk of loose rock lying in the hallway.


    Sai growled, the spike of pain exacerbating the headache that was lurking on the edge of their vision.


    ¡°Stupid gargoyle bits, why did you do this to me drunk Sai! Why!¡±


    They raised their fist in mock rage before they registered that alone at 3am was the exact opposite of having a captive audience. They lowered their fist sheepishly and looked around for more bits of loose rock and successfully found a second sharp chunk when it embedded itself in the soft flesh of their heel. Sai swore to themselves and carelessly kicked the offending rock fragments into the corner, mentally marking it as a problem for a future Sai to deal with.


    Pleased that the hallway was no longer an immediate danger, Sai rooted around the kitchen for a midnight snack, smoked cheddar, and crackers, before slouching onto the sofa to absorb some late-night TV. They scanned through the channels half-heartedly, idly hoping to find something they recognised from their childhood. As always, they were disappointed, and Sai was seriously considering giving up when a splay of reddish light cut across the screen obscuring the late-night programming.


    ~THE THRESHOLD HAS OPENED ¨C ASSESSMENT BEGINS~


    The red text glowed hot and bright, and Sai clicked the remote in a half-hearted attempt to change the channel.


    ***


    At 4Am Li was woken by a bright glow coming from the palm of eir husband''s hand. Li frowned at the bright light that had awoken em, it was very annoying. Ey''d mentioned it to them previously, but he didn''t seem to be able to control it, and at least Charlie had figured out how to deactivate the random pulses of electricity that was going on previously. How the cheerful Scotsman had managed to activate it by stubbing his toe neither of them was super sure, but it had been a late night before he¡¯d finished it.


    Ey checked the time half-heartedly, maybe ey should just do some chores, Charlie would be up soon anyway and ey would be able to go back to sleep in a bedroom without a lightshow blinding em. Li made eir way into the living room carefully, eir leg was not too bad today, so ey made do with eir cane. Li sat on the sofa and mused what to do for the next hour or so casting a curious eye across the living room for inspiration.


    On the table next to the sofa was the narwhal inclusive copy of the Da Vinci code, a reminder that Charlie had been jokingly moving around the house in an effort to get Li to read it. Li considered picking it up for a second before ey decided that ey weren¡¯t really in the mood and casually ignored the copy as ey moved to a more interesting book, one ey picked up very carefully.


    The book was blood red and slightly tacky, the surface shimmering with a strange glossy layer that made you think of glass or flesh, depending on how the light took it. Jack had told em that it was "perfectly safe", but who knew what safe meant for a gigantic spider?


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    In Li¡¯s mind though, it was worth the risk. Ey turned the radio on for some early morning ambiance, and Li began to work on eir fundamentals as ey listened for the abrupt noise of Charlie''s awakening. As ey concentrated on the magical text, the radio¡¯s music warped and distorted, a reedy voice breaking through in sharp contrast with the violins of the song.


    ~ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES ¨C A SURVEY MUST BE PERFORMED~


    Li frowned, ey didn¡¯t recall the song having any lyrics before.


    ***


    Charlie¡¯s alarm went off at 5AM, the rhythmic blare of bagpipes summoning him to the world of wakefulness. They yawned and leaned over to cuddle his spouse only to find the spot empty, Charlie frowned, noticed the bright luminescence of his skin, and shook his head. So typical of Li not to wake him. Charlie glared at his hand, staring at the glowing flesh as he thought hard about every synonym of off and disable.


    After a few moments they looked down at the still glowing hand and treated it as he would any malfunctioning bit of technology and smacked it against the bedpost. The wood dented where his hand struck and a wave of pain spiked up their arm, but happily the light flicked and turned off.


    Charlie grinned through the pain and counted it as a success. Spurred on, he concentrated on the idea of a camera and was greeted by a soft click and the utterly bizarre feeling of his arm unfolding, razor thin circuitry clicking and slotting together to form a clean smooth edged handheld camera.


    He flipped it round in his hand and posed for the video, a cheeky grin on display as a tiny string of writing crawled across their vision.


    Recording


    As he moved through to the living room, he teased their future audience with a carefully framed vlog as they searched for their elusive partner, as he wandered about, he heard the blare radio from the kitchen and pathologically wary of fair use policy ended the recording with a thought.


    The Camera melted back into his skin as they walked, and the italicised recording message fading for a fraction of a second, only to be stopped dead by a window of huge white text superimposed across their vision.


    ~AN APPOINTMENT IS BOOKED¨C CANCELLATION UNAVAILABLE~


    Confused and suddenly unable to see Charlie tripped and crashed into the living room doorway.


    ***


    Biz awoke at 6am sharp a fraction of a second before the alarm went off, xyr instincts sharpened by years of practice Biz dismissed the notification before it could even make a noise. Xe jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed the scattered painkillers and phone from the bedside table, just in time to see a flash of ¡°Low Battery¡± and the screen fade to black.


    Xe sighed and plugged xyr phone on to charge, it was unlikely anyone was awake enough to message xem anyway, but it would have been nice to confirm the insanity of yesterday. Xe considered it for a second, was the new situation really that much of a change? The street moved at random, people and buildings popped into existence whilst gravity flexed and warped to keep up.


    Was a shapeshifting postmaster really that much of a big deal compared to that? Biz considered the concept for a second. It was, xe thought, distinctly different to have weird things and people appear on the street with no knowledge of why xe were there. Stevie though? She knew things, more than she had told xem ¨C that much was certain.


    Biz shook xyr head free of the thought and began xyr morning routine. Time would be better spent focusing on the positives. Would a postmaster be able to help with the post office? It wasn¡¯t an official post office, but surely it counted? The supply of vials and glass tubes were slowly running down as they were dropped or cracked, and the survival rate for the glass filled packages violently propelled from the post office portal was less than ideal, and a somewhat dubious prospect when it came to the monetary investment. Biz grinned to xemself, at least there was finally someone to complain to!


    Spurred on by the idea, Biz grabbed the charging phone off of their bedside cabinet and hit the power button. Charged enough to turn on the phone screen lit up and xyr phone began to buzz with a flurry of messages, each from a number marked by hashes and errors and with the same bizarre sentence.


    ~OUR ARRIVAL IS IMMINENT¨C HAVE YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER~


    Biz shook xyr head, spam messages were getting really weird these days ¨C there wasn¡¯t even a link.


    ***


    7am. Red swung for the alarm clock, missing the charmingly mechanical devices snooze button by a hair¡¯s breadth, and batting it diagonally across the room into the wall where it clattered to the floor still ringing. After a few moments of pressing the pillow over their face and desperately attempting to sleep Red gave up and angrily threw the cover to the far side of the room as she stomped out of bed.


    Now fully and frustratingly awake, Red glared at the ringing alarm clock, grabbed it and stomped towards the window. She yanked the window open and prepared to throw it out into the darkness of the void beyond. She took a second to pause and read the note affixed to the glass, a torn-out page of a notebook detailing the specific reasons why such an act was a bad idea. She considered it carefully and begrudgingly agreed that the catharsis of destroying the clock was not worth the annoyance of its destruction, it had been very wise to leave it there as a reminder.


    She paused to check the time on the alarm clock, 7am was earlier than they had set it, today should have been an 8am day as there was no shower requirement. Red pondered it as they went about their morning rituals, the whole day felt wrong - off kilter and out of focus. She knew from experience that going back to sleep would not help, but the cans of double strength energy drinks stacked in the fridge had a 23% chance of success.


    In moments she had one, cracking open the can to begin what she thought of as ¡°plan reset¡±, back-to-back watching of season one Simpsons episodes. A sure-fire way to bring back the feeling of certainty and predictability which came with re-watching a favourite show. She relaxed through the first episode, listening absentmindedly as the familiar plots washing over them. As the episodes ran, Red felt themself slowly returning to the peace and calm of a well scheduled day. The growing sense of peace grew, only to be shattered by the third episode cutting abruptly to black as it was interrupted by lines of harsh white text.


    ~PLEASE BE AWARE - HER MAJESTY''S AGENTS WILL BE SEEING YOU SOON~


    Red¡¯s fragile calm shattered instantly, and without a second¡¯s thought she stormed back upstairs to throw the defective alarm clock into the void.


    ***


    The dryad known as Stevie had been up for hours, her role as postmaster called for later nights and early mornings at the best of times. Unfortunatly, she had discovered it was not the best of times.


    There was an intrusion into the street, marked by the words arrayed in the air before her. They had been hard to capture, electronic in nature they had invaded the streets devices. Not quite deliberate messages and certainly not post, they had been slippery and hard to grasp with her powers.


    But she had succeeded, and it had been worth it, if only to know how difficult the coming days would be, preparations would need to be made. The citizens of the street would need to be informed and forewarned.


    What else was there to do when Her Majesty''s Agents had arrived on the street?

 4.1 Al and Bitey鈥檚 Bureaucratic Adventure

    Al put down its needle and thread as the strange knocking filled its living room, pausing breifly to watch Bitey run backwards and forwards manically Al cocked its head and listened. Knocking. Particularly weird knocking, no one it had ever met knocked to the tune of God save the King. It was weird Al thought, but weird was the norm now. It wondered if that was a bad thing or not, but just shrugged and went to the door instead of thinking about it further. Who even knew what normal was nowadays, more importantly, it was rude to keep people waiting outside, what would its parents think!


    Besides, it was probably just Stevie. Al had not interacted with a dryad personally, but it suspected they did all sorts of weird things. As it pondered the weirdness of creatures that it had once thought fictional, Al pulled the door open and was surprised to find instead two normal human people stood in the entrance way. An unknown black suited couple, each holding a polished tan leather briefcase in one hand, and a thick black clipboard in the other.


    The taller one spoke as the door swung open, his voice hard and unyielding. His demeanour clipped and professional as he channeled an authority born of a thousand generations of refined aristocracy.


    ¡°You may call me Lord, and my associate here Dame. We are from her majesty¡¯s Dragon Regulatory Body. We sent notice of our imminent arrival yesterday.¡±


    Al flinched as it heard Bitey fall off the table, and the smell of acrid smoke spilled out from behind it. The one who called herself Dame raised an eyebrow and tutted as she made a note on her clipboard.


    Its mind racing, Al considered slamming the door in the duo¡¯s face, it had had no ¡®notice of imminent arrival¡¯ that it recalled! As its outrage at the pompous duo built, Al struggled to align its proper British upbringing, and its instinct to get rid of the highly suspect visitors as quickly as possible. Sadly, before Al could resolve this internal conflict, the one which called himself Lord stepped forwards and placed a polished black shoe across the threshold, blocking the door from closing.


    Al¡¯s frown deepened as Lord stared passively into its eyes, and unsure of what else to do Al stepped aside to allow the duo into its home. Lord stepped through immediately, radiating a mixture of open contempt and smug superiority as his eyes took in the quaint details of the room, the homemade furnishings, worn rug, and badly chewed up shoes. Having assessed their victim and gained entry, the man circled Al predatorily, gazing at Bitey with hungry eyes as the tiny lizard scuttled behind Al quaking in fear.


    Feeling the anxious little creature trembling against its leg spurred something paternal in Al, and it steeled itself, forcing itself into a state of bristly protectiveness as it addressed the clipboard wielding woman.


    ¡°Well, Dame, why are you both here? I¡¯m a busy enby with commissions to do, whereas you are some randomly odd individuals who have made their way into my home and seem intent to harass my pet!¡±


    Dame¡¯s professional facade cracked for a moment as she speared Al with a look of intense acrid dislike for a moment before the blank inhuman mask slid back into place. Poise returned, she sat down at the table and without permission or preamble swept Al''s newest commission off onto the floor. As Al watched, she placed the tan briefcase carefully on the now cleared table, opened it with a soft click and began to look inside. As the soft sound of rustling papers filling the room Al considered interrupting again, but a sharp look from Lord stopped it short. Who were these people that they felt they could walk into its home and take charge? How did these people''s calm, silent presence feel so intensely aggressive that Al could barely interact with them?


    Al¡¯s wandering thoughts were cut short as the briefcase clicked shut with a snap, and Dame began to talk, her voice as hard, unyielding, and arrogant as her compatriot.


    ¡°Well M¡­¡± She paused and exchanged a look of mutual disgust with her compatriot as she enunciated the title with scorn. ¡°Mix... Al Smyth. We are here because an investigation has been raised regarding the illegal import of both exotic creatures and weaponry onto the lands of our fair country.¡±


    The pair smiled wide, toothy smiles and Al could swear it heard a faint melody echoing around her words as she waved a thin slip of paper towards it and Bitey, who lunged forwards to take a chunk out of what they had assessed was some kind of thin, flat shoe. As the Bitey leaped, Dame moved with surprising speed, her arm a blur as she snatched the file away from the tiny dragon and slapped it against Al¡¯s chest in a single sharp action.


    Lord smirked and moved towards the door, gesturing with one hand for Dame to follow. She nodded in return, and the pair left without another word. The door shut behind them with a soft click as Al stood shellshocked, the sheet of paper hanging limply in its hand. Still dazed, Al considered for a second the idea of just feeding the sheet into the salivating mouth of Bitey and calling it a day. After a second of soul searching, and much to its regret, it decided that it had enough problems without annoying the most recent mystery to turn up at its door.


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    Resolved to at least read it, Al took a deep breath and scanned the slip of paper, immediately its blood begin to boil. It was nothing more than a blatant threat. Al closed its eyes and attempted to calm itself, taking a moment to consider the problem as objectively as it could. It wasn¡¯t like with its taxes, where it had been a matter of legal loopholes and specificity. No, this was different ¨C They had no legal basis for their complaint, so all Al needed was to give them proof that Bitey was not a monstrous bat thing, but an adorable, lovable pet and it knew just the person to help it.


    A moment later Al was outside Bitey by its side. It looked around carefully to confirm that the duo had been moved away by the drift as the street shifted. They were, and happy to find them gone, Al considered the sky to figure out the current layout of the street. The normal landmarks were there, the shadowy outlines of distant buildings, but also something else, the distant echo of a new building maybe? It didn''t look very impressive, just a shadowy outline of an office building maybe, a blunt slab of grey cutting across the sky.


    Al considered the oddity for a second, it was likely something to do with those new visitors, maybe something to do with how they got there. There hadn''t been any drift quakes to signal a building''s arrival, so they must have gotten there some other way. Al walked down the street as it pondered the thought, maybe they were fireproof and had walked in through the post office portal or something. It would have to ask Red if that could be possible at some point.


    Eventually it found itself before the tan household none the wiser and Al knocked on Charlie¡¯s door with one hand idly stroking the dry scales of Bitey back as it waited for Charlie, or Li, to answer it.


    As it waited, something in Al¡¯s mind clicked. A DOOR. The shape in the sky was no office block, no mysterious obelisk, but a door drawn amongst the shadows cast by the street''s hazy dual suns. Filled with an unlikely calm and quiet certainty Al reached towards it, green necromantic energies oozing to the surface of its skin instinctively as it stretched with body and mind towards the shadowy door.


    For a second it succeeded; It felt the cool smoothness of the metal under its fingers. It felt the door begin to open and giveaway under its touch, a sense of power and control flowing into its fingertips.


    A second later and it was gone, the connection severed, and Al was left reaching towards the sky as Charlie watched, eyebrow raised from the now open doorway. Returning to awareness of its surroundings Al watched as the sickly green energy faded from its limbs, drawn spaghetti like into the awaiting maw of Bitey, the merry little lizard slurping up the crackling green energy with glee.


    Charlie snapped a finger in front of Al¡¯s face. "Is that meant to happen?"


    Al shrugged and tried to shake away the sense of dazed brain fogginess that permeated it. After a moment of piercing looks Charlie gave up, shrugged back, and indicated for Al and Bitey to come inside.


    Once inside the sensation seemed to clear and Al felt more itself again. Al Paused, no It felt better - more clear minded and alert than it had in days. It looked at Bitey suspiciously, but the tiny dragon had fallen into a deep slumber post magical snack.


    Charlie absentmindedly scratched the scar on his chest as he tried to get Al to turn its attention back to them. ¡°So, weird magical lightshow aside ya gonna tell me why you¡¯re here?¡±


    Al flushed, its skin moving from milky white to deep pink as the barely clothed Scotsman waved their fingers in front of its face.


    ¡°Oh¡­ yeah¡­ of course, err I, I mean we got visited by a very weird pair earlier, called themselves Lord and Dame and didn¡¯t like Bitey one bit, they even gave me this thing throwing shade at them!¡±


    Al petted Bitey affectionately as it handed the bit of paper to Charlie. ¡°They claim that this little twit is in violation of both exotic pet and weaponry laws in the kingdom of Great Britain! We aren¡¯t even in Britain! Err, probably? And besides, this doesn¡¯t even have any laws listed. It¡¯s just a threat to have them removed!¡±


    Charlie scratched his stubble with one hand and read the offered paper.


    ¡°Bitey? Oh, the lizard has a name now ¨C love the name and glad your get¡¯in along! Li was super worried."


    He paused to scratch the side of his head, their grin turning to one of puzzlement.


    "I can see why this t¡¯would be a problem, but what you want me to do? I don¡¯t know any legal stuff ¨C why don¡¯t ya ask Sai?¡± He paused and gave Al an exaggerated grin.


    ¡°Unless you wanna video series on the little dude! Their adorable! I bet with a good script and some camera work I can make ''em a real hit! Make the little guy a de''facta internet sensation!¡±


    Al nodded at them seriously. ¡°That¡¯s the plan, As I see it the suits don¡¯t really have a case to take Bitey, it¡¯s a PR move. So it you make some noise and make them seem all lovable and such then they¡¯ll just give up!...err...or something?¡±¡±


    Charlie grinned and clapped his hands together. ¡°Well, I was jokin, but honestly sounds super fun! - I''m In!¡±


    Their forehead creased as he concentrated, and Al watched in horror as Charlies arm split apart with a click and whirl of gears. As the whirling increases, the freckled skin moved apart, allowing the metallic pieces within to slot together and form a glossy digital video camera in the palm of his hand. Unable to look away, Al spotted the charge cable threading it''s way under Charlie''s skin and feeling suddenly faint, resolved to focus on something - anything else instead.


    Charlie ever oblivious began issuing directions to the sleeping dragon and their enby owner as he pointed the camera at the confused duo.


    "Right folks! Hope you¡¯re ready, let¡¯s git started on take one of...Bitey The friendly Dragon.¡±

 4.2 Sai鈥檚 Legislative Limerick

    Sai looked at Lord and Dame frowned, how had they got into their house. How indeed did they know their names?


    They looked at the front door, it was shut and locked. Confused, Sai looked up at Lord and the tall man smiled thinly, a fresh dark bruise high upon his cheek bone above a split and bleeding lip.  Sai frowned and looked at their hand to find their knuckles bloody and their pink flowery shirt torn and crumpled.


    The woman, Dame, opened the briefcase, the stiff leather a creaking backdrop for her clipped voice.


    "We have, in addition to your recent assault of two agents of the king, I have here a list of complaints from the officials of the king''s court with regards to the letters sent on the 3rd, 7th, 18th and 21st of the previous month.¡±


    Sai looked around as they tried to get their bearings, they were in their living room, with a pair of strangers and no recollection of how they or the other two had got there. They had almost no idea what was going on, despite having seemingly spent long enough with the pair to be sat around the table with them. In short, they had almost no idea what was going on, but they knew an accusation when they heard one.


    Keen to start distracting the duo Sai waved their hands to gesture vaguely. "I don''t see why you''d think this was me though. This could be any Sai, or even someone trying to smear my good name! And besides, basically everyone thinks that the king is..." they leaned over to look at the documents "...A relic of Britain''s incestuous past and a stain on the very concept of democracy."


    Lord''s jaw clenched and his face began to twitch. Sai watched their reaction curiously, apparently the letters had really upset him, but that did beg the question of how the duo had even gotten them.


    Sai caught his eye and winked; this stuffy duo really was getting boring. They drummed their fingers on the table as they considered their next move, their brown fingers tapping a merry tune as their nails clicked against the table.


    Dame looked very unimpressed, it seemed that she was not a fan of music. Sai grinned at her -well in that case, the next course of action was obvious.


    In a flash of pink Sai jumped out of the chair and onto the table. Took a second to pose triumphantly and began to sing their rebuttal, their gangly form crouched and contorted as they attempted to avoid the worn light fitting above.


    Your position/approach unprofessional,


    Perhaps your arrival inevitable,


    Your attitude sucks,


    Yet here lies the crux,


    The evidence you carry is negligible,


    Sai closed off the outburst of half-rhymes in a flurry of jazz hands and watched the duo closely, as they held the outlandish pose. Lord¡¯s face was a fury with his perfect white teeth clenched as Dame frowned and shook her head.


    ¡°Unfortunatly for you and your¡­. Charming¡­ song, the letter on the 21st was smeared with your blood. How you managed to cut yourself in such a way we do not care to know, but our analysts belive that alcohol was likely involved.¡±


    Sai pasted a cocky grin across their face as they cursed drunk Sai internally. Maybe they did have evidence, they did recall awaking with a mysterious drunken injury which lined up suspiciously well with that particular letter.


    ¡°Sounds awfully flimsy to me, I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave.¡±


    Sai jumped back down from the table and placed a hand on the implacable Lords shoulder with the intent of ushering him out of the door, only to find their vision blur into darkness as their hands brushed against the starched black of his suit.


    When they regained vision, the duo was gone. No sign of their presence save a glossy page filled to the brim with tight text. Sai grimaced and went to look for a magnifying glass, this was textbook malicious documentation, and they were damned if they¡¯d not read the fine print document ¨C out of spite if nothing else.


    It took Sai a good twenty minutes to find the magnifying glass in the kitchen¡­being used as an impromptu coaster. A quick examination revealed it to be scratched and scuffed, but not unreasonably so and Sai sat at the table to read the maliciously sized text.


    The hours ticked on as Sai deciphered the text, cutting through paragraphs of clarifications and subclauses and making notes in the margins as the obfuscations and legalese fell before their litigious mind. By the end of it, the paper was marred with ink, crossed with lines, scribbles and clarifications to reveal the truth ¨C the duo, and whatever strange entity they worked for only had claim to those who agreed to be part of The Empire Beyond whatever the hell that was, and it seemed, the inquiry and harassment were the first step in that, in taking ownership of the street.


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    Sai considered it for a second and mused to the room aloud. ¡°Would it really be such a bad thing for there to be a government here?¡±


    Sai thought about it for a moment more and pulled out their phone to check up on how the government was doing in that Britain, checked that the news sites they had been reviewing were not parody. Having determined that they were not, Sai felt the answer was clear.


    Without further consideration they swiped away the search and dropped Red a quick, if overly dramatized message:


    Hey Red, I have been accosted by government agents! The fiends broke into my home and threatened me with the most violent of reprisals and malicious of paperworks!  ¨C We must retaliate forthwith with an equal and opposing violence!


    To Sai¡¯s surprise her response was immediate:


    I will get battle ready and arrive in exactly 58 mins time.


    They smiled at the weird wording, it was unlike Red to respond to a joke in the same spirit, but it was nice to think they were finally rubbing off on her, and an hour was more than long enough to grab a cup of coffee and get some reading in before they worked out their plan with Red.


    Sai heard the knocking at their door as Red arrived about an hour or so later and let herself in immediately. As she kicked open the door Sai¡¯s stomach did a flip, she was dressed head to toe in armour, layers of leather panels roughly tied together with cable ties and bolts, an ornate sword, a replica Glamdring perhaps, held unevenly in one hand as she charged up the stairs flailing wildly.


    Sai flinched and jumped up from the sofa, the book they were reading flying across the room as the sounds of chaos filled Sai¡¯s home. They hurried to deescalate the situation, internally the swore at themselves, she¡¯d said battle ready, and they¡¯d assumed it was a joke, but Red didn¡¯t do that kind of joke.


    They scrambled up the stairs after her and attempted to reason with her, but Red¡¯s face was a mask of furious rage.


    ¡°I know how they got in; I saw the door in the sky where there never was one before. I think if we destroy it then they will not be able to send reinforcements. All we need to do is build some kind of trebuchet¡± Red extracted a notebook from their ever-present bag and thrust it at Sai.


    ¡°See, all we need to do is to get some spring-loaded steel and launch some kind of spear into the sky.¡±


    Sai pushed the notepad to one side and grabbed Red¡¯s armoured shoulder.


    ¡°Err, sorry to say but you know how sometimes you misunderstand jokes?¡±


    Red nodded absentmindedly as Sai continued.


    ¡°Well, this is one of those times. We are not literally at war; I was being overly dramatic I guess¡­.¡±


    They paused as they noticed Red glowering up at them with a look of intense irritation.


    ¡°You could have said that.¡±


    Sai considered arguing for a second but accepted that had they thought about It for more than a second, they¡¯d have realised it was a terrible thing to say to the excitable demi-girl.  ¡°If it makes you feel better, I am still planning something treasonous, just not literally murder.¡±


    Seemingly disappointed, Red began taking off her ¡°armour¡± and stacking it in a pile to one side of the room. Once she was suitably disrobed, she turned back to Sai and pulled open a notebook expectantly.


    Sai grinned, it seemed all must be forgiven then! Talking slowly and being careful to be precise with their wording, they outlined the actual events which had happened including a quick rendition of their short song, which Red jotted down diligently.


    ¡°¡­.So basically the plan now is to make something that will annoy them more than me and make them so angry they''ll leave on their own accord. THEN, maybe we can look into breaking that door.¡± I don¡¯t suppose you can build something that looks cute but is really annoying? Or loud or something?¡±


    Sai chuckled as Red began rooting through her bag of notebooks, flipping through each and putting a few select books to one side as she rooted though and pulled out the various designs and schematics she had sequestered away within. Each was removed, carefully examined for a reference comment, and handed it to Sai as she searched for the next one. As the stack grew the designs became less concrete and vaguer as the stack moved from recent successful designs, like the streets WiFi towers, to unstable ideas Sai and the other members of the street and vetoed before eventually culminating in old, wrinkled schematics which seemed to predate Red¡¯s arrival on the street entirely.


    After perhaps twenty steps in along this winding path of time, she stopped at an ancient worn-down notepad. Sai noticed that it was far older than the rest, its scratched leather cover predating the colour coded network of books that Red had used for as long as Sai had known them. Its spine was bent with age, and the thin dry paper crackled as Red pulled a crude schematic from the between the pages. As Sai watched, she hesitated for a moment turning the paper over bashfully in her hand before reluctantly handing it to them.


    "How about this, I remember the design being better, so I¡¯ll have to re-do it. It¡¯s err.. It''s one of my first designs, but it should be loud, and err.. Scary...I based it on my favourite Doctor Who character...But dad, err dad always said the prototype was fucking annoying¡¯¡­So¡­Maybe it can help?"


    Sai took the worn paper and made great pains to appear to consider the sketch carefully. They were aware that even if the messy childish handwriting had been readable, they''d never have been able to understand what the design was meant to be doing, but wanted to give the best impression to Red before accepting it. Of course, it did help that one of the sections they could read was marked: Bark gun ¨C 200 Bark/s. If nothing else, that would prove to be infuriating at worst, and ear splitting at best.


    Sai grinned to themselves and looked up from the paper to find Red¡¯s face mere centimetres from their own, the tell-tale white knuckles of nerves as she wielded her pen perilously close to both their faces. In response Sai forced their grin wider and wrapped their friend up in an enthusiastically energetic hug.


    ¡°It¡¯s perfect¡±


    Red''s eyes lit up from within the cage of Sai¡¯s arms as she squealed with joy. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEY WERE WRONG! PROJECT KAY-NINETY-TWO GETS TO BE A HERO AFTER ALL!"

 4.3 Li鈥檚 Weaponised Paperwork

    The meeting was going well, the intruders Dame and Lord had entered to find Li having a casual chat with Jack and ey watched smiling as they failed to ignore the Spider in the room.


    It had been carefully planned since Charlie had let em know about the Queens agent¡¯s arrival on the street, Al had given quite the breakdown on the duo''s activities before it had left with eir husband. With that information to hand, and a suspicious recollection of a message hidden haphazardly in the lyrics of a song the day before, Li had been well prepared to take on the intruders in a uniquely British fashion.


    Ey sipped on a cup of chai tea and watched the flustered couple, they seemed to be trying to accuse em of breaking some kind of law with regards to personal identification. It was an almost insultingly obvious ploy, and one ey and Charlie had dealt with many times before finding themselves on the police-free society of the street.


    As ey watched, ey monitored the flow of conversation, waiting for the perfect moment to interject and break Lord¡¯s flow. It was a practiced manoeuvre, but not one that Li particularly enjoyed. Ey¡¯d much rather just be direct and honest with people, but ey knew from experience that there was no way to do so when people were acting in bad faith.


    Li interrupted just as Lord was starting to prompt Dame to continue.


    ¡°Oh no, Lord was it? I am afraid that I have completely failed in my duties as host. Your conversation has been so captivating that I forgot to offer you any tea.¡±


    Ey waited just long enough for Lord to process the question before continuing, cutting him off again.


    ¡°You can just wait there, do not concern yourself. I will go make you one each. You look like the type who would have Earl Grey with a splash of lemon, is that correct?¡±


    Dame looked as though she was about to object, but a low hiss from Jack turned the complaint into a shudder followed by a sharp nod. At once, Li began rooting about in the cupboards for eir cast iron kettle, wilfully ignoring the faster electric one sat in the corner as ey filled the room with a persistent level of clatter just loud enough to justify ignoring each of Lord and Dames insistent accusations.


    Lord attempted valiantly to bring the conversation back to the accusations he wished to level, but Li joyfully short circuited each attempt with innocent inquiries and comments timed just well enough to throw off the pompous official.


    The ¡°conversation¡± continued in more or less the same vein until, much to Li¡¯s satisfaction, Lords patience snapped, and the dark-haired man slammed his cup of tea down on the table.


    ¡°Dame just give Mist..Miss?¡± He paused, face growing redder and angrier as he failed to find the correct honorific. ¡°Fuck-whatever! Just give the fucking document to this jackass who has been wasting our damn time.¡±


    Li cheerfully opened the door for the duo as they stormed out, a lone sheet of crisp white paper left upon the table. Pleased with how the interaction had gone, Li turned back to thank the giant spider lounging in the room only to see him leaning over the table, his many eyes scanning the document before him.


    As Li tidied up around him, the spider pondered the paper, running a fibrous leg carefully along its surface as he chittered disconcertingly to himself, eventually slumping back into a sitting position.


    ¡°Are you aware of the eccentricities that are resident within this document? I have perused thousands of manuscripts in my time and have seen a slim few with pages as strange as this thin slip of paper which lies before us.¡±


    Li frowned and took the paper from Jack, it seemed like paper at a first glance, thin white and flimsy, the vague hint of a crease bisecting the paragraph of trumped up accusations, which included falsifying an identity online amongst other such non-crimes and dubious misdemeanours.


    Ey looked accusingly over at Jack for some hint or clue, only to find the implacable blank stare of a being who had followed a completely different evolutionary path. Li allowed emself a small smile, Jack had entered ¡®Magic Tutor Mode¡¯, which was probably a bit of a clue. It at least gave em an idea of what to try.


    Li thought back to eir lessons and worked through the basic principles ey had learned. Step 1) Concentrate on the energy within and extend it out from your pores. Jack described it as a web of awareness, but Li liked to think of it as more of a swarm of phantasmal hands reaching out in all directions. Sweat streamed down eir brow as the effort of an expanded awareness began to take its toll, and Li quickly grabbed the paper before ey lost control of the loose net of magic.


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    The sensation was instantaneous, a flow of life faint and weak somewhere between a plant and nothing at all, but still intrinsically alive. Alive, but sickly. Li recoiled, dropping the paper to the floor as eir awareness snapped back into em.


    ¡°That is not paper, is it?¡±


    The spider shook his head in an odd mimicry of the human behaviour he had learned.


    Li locked eyes with a pair of Jack''s as ey tried to explain the sensation that crawled through organs ey barely knew how to use.


    "It almost feels¡­alive?"


    Jack nodded and indicated for em to continue.


    "But not, from magic, I think? - Some kind of scientific necromancy?"


    The spider nodded once again, and Li gingerly picked up the sheet of paper. It was far from settled, but ey at least knew who might be able to help em, and after a short discussion, Jack agreed to leave it in Biz¡¯s care whilst he searched his library for any information which might help.


    The journey to the lab seemed short at first, but as the street moved around Li, twisting and elongating as it doubled and then tripled in length. Li¡¯s leg began to struggle against the malicious randomness of the street, but eventually ey arrived at the dull clinical door of the lab and rang the bell with a distinct sense of relief.


    Biz answered the door with a flustered expression, a lead apron and full protective gear. As Li stepped through, Biz glanced back and smiled nervously as a curious popping noise filtered in from behind xem. As Li watched, xe anxiously twisted a silvery button on the lapel of xyr coat, the bold "Xe/Xym'''' lettering catching the light. "Errr, this is kinda a bad time. Do you mind staying here whilst I finish up?"


    Li stood in the doorway for a moment as Biz dashed back towards the odd noise, ey considered following, but the walk had been quite long, and a familiar shooting pain had begun to climb up eir leg so ey elected to take a seat instead.


    The cold plastic squeaked under eir weight as Li attempted to stretch out the screaming muscles and twisted tendons beneath eir skin. Li sighed and tapped a message to Charlie, walking back wouldn¡¯t be much of an option, but at minimum a quick message to eir husband would at least let em get back home.


    Li pondered the likelihood of eir husband both noticing and responding to the message in time, it took all of half a second to conclude that the likelihood was in fact extremely low. After a moment of quiet contemplation Li sighed and hit the rarely used call button and waited.


    The phone rang for a moment and a familiar Scottish accent answered.


    ¡°Who the fuck is this, cos you sure as hell aren¡¯t my bloody spouse as I can see em from here! Stop spoofing eir number ya bloody weirdo and leave me alone.¡± The phone call cut off abruptly as that London¡¯s Charlie put the phone down on em.


    Li frowned at eir phone and put it away, ey knew from past experience that a second phone call would just reconnect with the wrong charlie again. Irritated, but not surprised Li began tapping out a message to Red. She had promised to fix the issue previously, but they had yet to give Li an update on what they referred to as ¡®a Slight Issue with Phone Call Misdirection¡¯ or SIPCM for short.


    The thought was cut off by an explosive thud from the other room accompanied by a burst of sulphurous smoke and a faint cry for help. Startled, Li jumped to eir feet, the sudden action transforming eir leg into a writhing mass of agony as ey leaned heavily against the wall.


    Li took a deep breath and gritted eir teeth against the pain, braced one hand against the wall, while eir other clenched white knuckles against eir cane. Ey made torturously slow progress towards Biz¡¯s faint voice, stumbling as ey tried to focus on the doorway. The room was flooded with smoke as whatever device Biz had been using continued to malfunction belching black smoke into the air, as Li made eir way towards Biz¡¯s panicked cries.


    Li cursed eir slowness as ey reached the doorway to see a spinning vortex of energy, bursting from a splintered metallic frame, and before it Biz¡¯s prone body. Panicked and dazed by the heat and light surging from the vortex Li reached out with eir mind, forcing emself to expand the mist like awareness and protect Biz. Li didn¡¯t know what ey expected to happen, ey had no plan or cunning scheme to save eir friend, but just an instinct to reach out towards the pulsing swirling energy destroying the lab.


    Eir awareness was caught like a leaf in a storm, locked into the vicious chaotic whirlpool of lights and magic as eir mind connected to the unstable energies within. Li felt energy crackle through eir body as the vortex latched onto em and the machine dimmed and dipped as the power drained into em.


    Li collapsed to the ground, light spilling from eir skin as ey tried to control the energy tearing through eir nervous system. As ey struggled, Li noticed Biz had crawled towards em, shielding xyr eyes with one hand as xe shouted something at em. Li struggled to focus, but a distracted distant part of eir mind noted that the boiling crackle of the energy was overwhelming the vibrations that marked Biz¡¯s speech. After a second of struggle, the same distracted pain free section of thoughts offered a solution ¨C Read xyr lips.


    ¡°GET THE ENERGY OUT OF YOU.¡±


    Li attempted to nod eir agreement as ey focused eir energy infused awareness into a single point, desperately forcing the corrosive burning energy to a single smouldering point in eir hand and a tremendous effort of will slammed eir hand onto the thin sheet of paper ey had brought with em.


    Ey felt the energy leave em as the paper flexed and glowed, its surface rippling with a rainbow of flowing energy as it burnt through Li¡¯s pocket and dropped incandescent onto the floor, the worn tiles melting around it.


    As Li struggled away from the scorched wreckage of eir coat, Biz grabbed a pair of long wrought iron tongs from a nearby table and gingerly picked up the paper. As it moved, Li noticed a ribbon of darkness trailing after it, a thin slice in the air through which Li could see the void beyond the street.


    As pain overwhelmed em and consciousness faded, ey slipped into darkness. Eir last fervent hope before ey passed out, that the ribbon of void was no more than a trick of the light.

 4.4 Charlie鈥檚 Spectral Surgeon.

    Charlie was perusing his new fan art when the message from Li arrived, the sharp beep of his phone notifying him that his spouse had texted him. He finished ranking the submissions from DUBIOUS to DAMMMN using his inbuild internet connection, todays DAMMMMN going to a charmingly weird abstract piece by Souce_Boi_42069.


    People were as ever sceptical of the realism of the whole thing, but the quirky intro video had managed to get the tag "Bitey the dragon" trending for a while, and frankly an oil painting of himself and Bitey ballroom dancing through the houses of parliament was to die for.


    They posted the winner up on twitter, and work done for the day, began to pace the room. It had been nice to have a bit of a distraction and the second he stopped working his mind rushed back to the governmental duo who had been stalking the street of late ¨C Lord and Dame. Li had let him know that they had turned up at the house earlier, and he feared that it was only a matter of time before the creepy duo tracked him down.


    He tapped his foot impatiently, that was why he was here after all, Sai had a plan, but that same Sai was still getting ready after almost an hour, they really were taking their damn time. A little bored, he moseyed over and examined the contraption strapped to the coffee table nearby - a series of cracked magnifying glasses carefully arrayed over the dense text of the paper beneath. The document itself seemed to have been highlighted in blue by Sai and stacks of dense legal textbooks surrounded it. Charlie scanned the titles, nothing he recognised, but there was a folder labelled "counter-sue".


    He flipped it open idly. As far as Charlie was concerned, Sai had invited them to their house and left them unattended in a room whilst they got ready so whatever was in that room was fair game. Though, for all the legal terminology and weirdness it may as well have been enciphered, even after he pried the original document loose to compare the two. Idly he snapped a photo with a thought. Sai was near guaranteed to lose it, and they might well appreciate a copy later, and if not, well he could always delete it ¨C His internal storage seemed limitless as far as high-fidelity video was concerned so he doubted a photo or two would cause issues.


    Charlie paused as his phone rang for a half a second before cutting off mid ring, he grimaced and pulled out the phone, a badly beaten Nokia more than a decade old, absentmindedly folding the pilfered document into his back pocket of his shorts to free his hands as the grungy device lit up. He smiled at it and thought of Li¡¯s stern expression when ey had handed it to them ¨C No amount of explanation of his new cybernetic abilities was enough to put off eir stern spouse¡¯s demand.


    In the end he had agreed, it was unnecessary ¨C but there was something comforting about having the historic bit of tech resting heavy in his short pockets. Still smiling at the thought, he spotted the earlier message and shook his head. It seemed his spouse had overreached again and needed eir chair dropping off.


    Somewhat happy for the excuse he clapped his hands together and yelled up at Sai.


    ¡°Oi, get your ass down here Sai, we need ta go via my house ta pick up Li¡¯s chair. So we ain¡¯t got time for you to try every fuck¡¯in outfit.¡±


    The sounds of chaos upstairs intensified and a few moments later Sai stumbled down the stairs in a blur of colours. They just barely caught themselves at the bottom, straightened up the more egregious parts of their outfit and posed dramatically.


    ¡°How do I look!¡±


    Charlie considered the hideous amalgamation of colours and multilayers for a moment.


    ¡°It¡¯s very.. you?¡±


    Sai grinned and gestured at the door, their luminescent green overcoat billowing around them as they moved into the street outside without hesitation. Startled Charlie rushed after his friend as they plunged through the doorway, the annotated document forgotten in their pocket as the door slammed shut behind them.


    As they strolled down the street Charlie attempted to follow the convoluted explanation of Sai¡¯s legal scheme before eventually giving up and letting the words wash over him as they walked. While they walked Charlie looked around, taking in the sights as he looked for his front door amongst the myriad walls of the street.


    Because of this, or perhaps in spite of it, Charlie was the one who spotted a glow of pale blue light shining out of the graveyard. He pointed and Sai stopped their explanation, neither needed to ask the other ¨C there was no way they were going to ignore such an obvious call to adventure.


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    Near blinded by the bluish glow the duo rushed through the endless ranks of graves towards the glowing beam of energy, past row after row of unreadable headstones until they finally reached the source of the light.


    As they approached, the glow paled and solidified into a luminescent figure. As they watched, the bluish spirit looked down at her spectral hands and laughed, the hollow empty sound chilling Charlie to the bone. For a moment, the figure paused, hanging motionless in the air feet barely touching the ground, and then she screamed into the sky above her.


    ¡°Suck it, TERFS ¨C EVEN DEAD I¡¯M STILL A FUCKING WOMAN.¡±


    Her mouth yawned open, stretching far beyond its boundaries as she grinned and danced with glee, semi-transparent feet twirling three meters off the ground.


    Sai stared at the floating figure before them and turned to Charlie.


    ¡°You know, I¡¯m starting to think Al is right. This is bullshit. Now we have fucking ghosts?¡±


    The ghost in question spun round to them with an affronted look, but Sai just shrugged at the apparition. Charlie for his part examined the figure for a second, sizing her up before he answered Sai.


    ¡°Ya know, I see what ya mean. But your being a bit unfair to the lass, we knew bout these already no? I¡¯m fairly sure Jacks been going on bout necromancy for a bit now right?¡±


    The ghost shook her head and drifted in front of Charlie¡¯s face.


    ¡°Excuse me? You, the asshole with the Scottish accent.¡±


    The ghost waved her hand in front of the distracted Scotsman.


    ¡°Yes you, care to explain why you and your fancy magic resurrected me?¡±


    Charlie opened his mouth to respond only to be interrupted by the sharp trill of his beaten-up Nokia, which he answered as his brain struggled with the twin confusions of working phone signal and the ghost¡¯s nonsensical accusation.


    It was Biz, and Charlie paused for a moment as the distressed scientist spoke in a rambling panic of intersecting sentences. As he listened his pale face sought a lighter shade of grey as the information hit home. Stunned and horrified, he turned to the Sai, fear in his eyes for the first time in the day.


    ¡°Li - ey have been in an accident.¡±


    He turned to the scowling spectral woman with a look of desperation as the words tumbled loose.


    ¡°I¡¯m beggin¡¯ ya tell me you¡¯re a doctor ¨C Li, my spouse, needs one an¡¯ we don ¡®ave one an¡¯ your prob¡¯ly our only hope.¡±


    The transparent women frowned and nodded, a strange calm writ into the shadowy flesh of her features.


    ¡°As it so happens, I am ¨C I am Doctor Penelope Barker to be precise.¡±


    Her smile softened and became more natural as Penelope spoke her name, as though a great weight of uncertainty had been lifted from her shoulders.


    ¡°It¡¯s hard being like this you know, so many rules to follow, so little of me remaining, it¡¯s all so new.¡±


    She looked into Charlie¡¯s eyes and shuddered slightly.


    ¡°But you have no time for that, I can see you are filled with so much desperation, and you think we have so little time. What I do know is I am bound to the dirt of my burial mound, but if you take some with you, I would be more than happy to help.¡±


    She gestured towards the headstone laden plot of grass beneath her, the swirling cipher of text now resolved into readable words. - Doctor Penelope Barker July 15<sup>th</sup> 1964 to May 14<sup>th</sup> 2002.


    Charlie brushed aside any objections Sai could have and clawed a handful of dirt from the loose mound. He paused for a second, gestured from the spirit to follow him and took off through the graves back towards the street. A small part of him knew it was far too convenient, suspiciously well timed, and perfectly placed to find them in their time of need. But Charlie didn¡¯t care, their spouse was in trouble, and he¡¯d be damned if he let any amount of hesitation stop them saving Li.


    He ran through the street, navigating by his gut and occasional glances at the shadowy outlines above as the drift tripped and buckled against him. For a while every step seemed to take him further from the lab where their spouse lay, the shifting street forming a maze around his footsteps as the fluctuating gravity of the street tossed him two and fro with each step.


    But he persevered, each tumbling step taking him closer to their destination as Penelope floated statuesque half a meter behind his left shoulder and after almost thirty minutes of battering drift it stopped abruptly, and Charlie found himself outside Biz¡¯s laboratory.


    He burst in without a second thought, the ghost rushed past him as he moved, manipulating Li¡¯s body with tendrils of blueish energy as eir body flexed and shuddered under the shadowy outline of her own.


    Charlie watched intently, his foot tapping impatiently against smooth tiles of the lab as he watched the spectral nurse tend to Li¡¯s injuries with well-practiced skill. Had he not been so distracted, he might have noticed the faint scent of burning from his pocket. Had he been more alert to his own body and less concerned with his spouse, perhaps maybe he would have noticed the line of heat where the document within his pocket glowed with energy. Had he looked, they might even have noticed the fresh line of text written in scorched black between the lines of the contract.


    But Charlie did none of these things, and he was glad of it. His focus was where it needed to be, and somewhere hidden far away on the street Lord and Dame agreed. Not from a sense of love or compassion as Charlie did, but from the quiet glee of a plan gone unnoticed.


    Of a line of smoking text written unseen into a contract.


    Healthcare Package Accepted ¨C Tan family Doctor: Ms Penelope Barker

 4.5 Biz and the Cleaning Dragon

    After Charlie had come to the rescue and saved Li, with of all things some kind of spectral surgeon, Biz figured that xyr day was destined to become more relaxed. Unfortunately, as with all things in Biz¡¯s life as of late xyr day had not calmed down at all.


    Indeed, instead of a metaphorical victory lap, Biz was instead standing arms outstretched between a giant glowing spider and a very angry ghost. By getting directly in the way, xe had enabled a stalemate for now, but it was hard to work out what the issue actually was. Biz thought for a second whilst the two glowered at each other, judging by the specifics that the ghostly doctor was screaming at the giant spider, Jack had said something she had interpreted as transphobic. Jack for his part seemed to be ranting about the evils of necromancy, though he was using some very exotic and confusing words.


    Xe flexed xyr lab coat dramatically and raised xyr voice, flicking the lights on and off with the remote hidden in xyr pocket as xe did so.


    ¡°Listen up Chucklefucks!¡±


    The pair stopped arguing to glare at Biz as xe continued.


    ¡°Jack, she didn¡¯t ask to be raised from the dead, but she¡¯s the only formally trained doctor we have on the street so shut your face. And YOU...¡±


    Biz turned his back to the quivering spider as xe swung to face the furious ghost.


    ¡°And you need to take a second ¨C Jack¡¯s not a transphobe, he¡¯s a paladin or some shit. Fucking idiot says you¡¯re Not a Real Woman because of some meta-physical bullcrap, not because your trans. Damn near most of the street is you moron.¡±


    Biz stood and glared at the two, xyr eyes burning into the pair with an anger bordering on rage.


    The ghost mumbled under her breath before exploding into yelling as Biz raised an eyebrow at the barely audible muttering.


    ¡°FINE, I¡¯m sorry alright! But he is still trying to kill me! Or re-kill me? Whatever. The spider¡¯s a dickhead and should fuck off is my point.¡±


    Biz considered xyr options and turned back to Jack.


    ¡°Jack, can you explain to me what exactly the problem is with having a ghost around? She just saved Li¡¯s life and frankly I think that deserves some kind of respect.¡±


    Jack nodded slowly, and Biz supressed the urge to flinch as the enormous arachnid began to speak, his mouth twitching as it contorted around the familiar human syllables.


    ¡°Ghosts, like all undead, emit a constant stream of corrosive necromantic energies. As our young friend Al has demonstrated, such corruption is the antithesis of organic life. If she stays, the energy will kill you. She will kill us all.¡±


    Biz frowned ¨C that was an annoyingly good reason, though xe did seem something of a flaw in Jack''s logic.


    ¡°Well, surely we have a solution to this already? You mention Al, but it now has its support reptile; Bitey I think their name was. Surely Bitey can just nip over every now and again to drain this corruption?¡±


    The Doctor, Penelope as she¡¯d introduced herself, tensed, her ghostly eyes alight with hope as Jack considered, his carapace creaking as he swayed with consideration. After a long, fraught pause the spider stared into Biz¡¯s eyes and nodded slowly.


    ¡°That¡­could be an acceptable solution.. But be warned if she does not do this, I WILL cleanse this place of her spirit. Such corruption cannot be permitted to exist unchecked.¡±


    Biz sighed in relief as Jack skittered from the building, the loose bags that passed for his clothing flapping behind him as he made his way through the too narrow doors of the street.


    Having successfully dealt with Jack, Biz turned back to the spectre floating behind xem.


    ¡°So¡­ err, I¡¯m grabbing a coffee. Do you want a-are you able to drink coffee?¡±


    Penelope just shrugged and Biz frowned at her, somewhat startled by the nonplussed response. Biz considered what xe knew about ghosts with a shudder as xe walked to the staff lounge cum kitchen.


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    Xe idly began to fill the kettle as xe considered what xe had seen in the last few hours. At a surface level her physical behaviour was alarmingly inconsistent, with the crux of the issue being there seemed to be two sets of rules to her "physical¡± form.


    There was her base level intangibility where she was unaffected by gravity and could move with ease much as one would expect for a ghost, but then there was the fact that occasionally she seemed to be so solid and physics-abiding to seem essentially human, albeit a somewhat transparent one.


    Biz flipped the kettle onto boil as xe followed the train of thought, Penelope hadn''t dropped the bandages nor did the salve drip through her incorporeal fingers as she tended to Li, so it was unlikely to be pure chance which dictated the change. Biz considered for a second as xe watched her slump loudly into a chair and sulkily tap her feet as she waited ¨C the noise she was making was quite real and certainly deliberate. It seemed like she was only obeying the laws of reality when it suited her, Biz snorted at the thought, not that reality was consistent on the street. Especially of late.


    Was it some kind of quantum placebo effect where physics only worked when she was paying attention to it? Biz pondered the thought as the kettle began to whistle, not for the first time xe wished xe could still get in touch with xyr old social circle. The input of a Nobel prize-winning physicist or two would have helped clarify Biz¡¯s theory no end.


    Xe considered the lack of expertise further as xe filled a couple of cups with boiling brown liquid and headed to the awaiting ghost who took the cup from xyr hand before xe could object.


    As Biz watched the streets only doctor pour coffee through her transparent jaw only to splash onto the ground, xe reflected that xe should probably sign up for a therapist again. Not that finding one who was both competent and believed in ghosts was going to be an easy task.


    A faint knock at the door interrupted the silence of contemplation as Al arrived, knocking an ash smeared hand against the open door of the lab before shouting in.


    ¡°Hey Biz, you there? I came as soon as I could, Mr Jack said I should come over with Bitey for a matter: Of deepest Importance!¡± Al exaggerated its voice as it spoke the last phrase, pulling on its larynx in a disconcerting commitment to the raspy, spider-like voice it produced.


    ¡°Sorry I¡¯m a bit late, I got distracted by that Lord and Dame couple, they wanted me to give you this.¡±


    Al waved a thin slip of paper towards Biz¡¯s outstretched hand, barely avoiding Bitey¡¯s lunging maw as it passed the paper to its intended recipient.


    Biz for xyr part considered it for a moment before scrunching it into a ball and throwing it to the little dragon who snatched it out of the air with visible joy as Al watched in horror.


    ¡°Biz! That was a government document! You can¡¯t just feed it to my pet dragon!¡±


    Bitey chewed the paper in adamant disagreement as Biz shrugged at the younger enby.


    ¡°Grow up Al, I doubt they are even from the same universe as either of us ¨C They have no right to do anything other than fuck off.¡±


    Biz continued before Al could object, quickly derailing its typical pro-governance arguments before it could get started.


    ¡°Anyways, remember that¡¯s not why you¡¯re here, you¡¯re here because¡­. Mr? Jack wanted you to see if you could get Bitey to eat up the residue magic¡­err¡±


    Biz struggled to recall the spider-paladin¡¯s words for a moment before giving up.


    ¡°¡­the residue magical crap¡­¡±


    Al drummed its fingers against Bitey''s head as it considered, narrowly avoiding their snapping jaws as the eager lizard attempted to chew off Al''s fingertips. Biz resisted the urge to laugh -the little lizard was quite literally biting the hand that fed them.


    ¡°Yeah, they can do that, can¡¯t you Bitey!¡±


    Biz watched as Al picked up the cat-ish dragonling with both hands and whispered something into the reptile¡¯s ear. At its words, Bitey went stock still for a moment, the chewed lump of paper dropping from their open mouth as a ball of greyish slime. A moment later, the lizard was on the move scuttling around the lab with their tongue out as they lapped up something.


    It took Biz a moment to notice what Bitey was eating, but as they moved through the area it was as though a hazy greyness lifted from the air, a darkness which when expelled left biz feeling more alive and energetic than xe had all day.


    Biz turned back to the ghostly doctor with a grin splitting xyr face only to find her staring into a nearby window. The darkness behind the street barely visible through her as she nodded her head distractedly, her eyes distant as she gazed into the endless darkness. Unperturbed Biz stuck the kettle back on and began to work out a schedule with Al that would keep the lingering corruption at bay.


    ~~~


    All the while, In the darkness of the void unobserved by no living eye, Lord and Dame float, their perfect hair drifting halo-like around them, briefcases clutched in clammy hands as their lifeless bodies are dissected and analysed by the intellects beyond the street.


    As the bodies were examined and conclusions drawn, the systems that made up the Collective began to panic, as the network devolved. Its orderly lines collapsed into a mesh of alerts and alarms, each racing through the network as for the first time the Collective struggled to reach a majority agreement on their next course of action.


    Microseconds stretched into seconds, seconds into minutes before a single intellect broke through the static, their message processed and agreed unanimously in a great desperate wave of acceptance.


    ¡°¡­The Kings¡¯s agents have returned ¡­Diplomacy ¨C will fail¡­Democracy-has failed ¡­Unity is required¡­I will force unity¡­I will determine the course until this issue is resolved¡­¡±

 4.6 Reds Rogue Royalists

    Red had watched with great curiosity as Lord and Dame had stormed through her house to interview the being in the void behind the street. Her notes on the pair were now filled with details, the gentle floating of Lord¡¯s hair as he launched himself into the void, his gasps as the Collective found him.


    Her notes were filled with speculations as to why Dame had followed seventeen seconds later. How she had suffered the same strange event as her life was extinguished just as she reached Lord¡¯s body. Red frowned as she cross referenced the event with her notes on the pair, that level of recklessness did not seem to track with their legislative intents and even more concerningly did not match her current assessment of the void which had left her unharmed.


    A familiar, haunting uncertainty flooded her brain. The safety of certainty slipped away as previous results were contradicted and overturned. She grimaced and highlighted the relevant sections in pale blue, a scrawled note in the packed margin noting the points of deviation.


    To calm herself, she paced the room, making note of the shimmering vines that ran through it. She knew it was there to defend them. A glistening metallic connection to the void winding from the gap in the wall all through her home. She placed a hand on the nearest one, still cool to the touch with a mild electric current. It was nice to be on the same page as her housemates for once ¨C Perhaps the system deserved some kind of moving in gift, that was a thing people did, right?


    As she considered this option, Red was disturbed by a knock on the door, a firm tapping to the tune of god save the queen ¨C a familiar oddity, but one which made little sense when they thought of the bodies floating in the void.


    She smiled to herself, perhaps this was the answer to Lord and Dames peculiar behaviour? There was only one way to find out, and she pulled the door open without a second thought.


    The doorway opened, and two people who looked a lot like Lord and Dame stood before her, very much alive.


    Lord met her gaze and smiled back rakishly before pushing past Red and into the house as she stood trying to process the implications of this crucial new data.


    As their thoughts realigned, Red watched warily as the pair sauntered in, clearing the table with a callous sweep of a hand, and leaning back upon the chairs Red had left at its edge. She frowned and approached them warily, the entire interaction was off, inconsistent with past behaviours. Red flipped back open the notepad of their prior interactions with the duo and frowned ¨C Easy confidence and charming smile? Something was off here.


    She considered the line of thinking further. Lord was approximately half a centimetre too tall, and Dame¡¯s hair was a few percentages away from the hue it should be. Red focused back on the moment as they looked back from the messy scrawl of her writing and addressed them as she pointed at each of them in turn.


    ¡°You are not Lord¡± She gestured at the relaxed lounging man before locking eyes with the woman.


    ¡°And you, you are not Dame.¡± The air of joyousness dropped out of the pair as not-Lord eyed the notepad whilst not-Dame quietly opened her briefcase to extract a strange glowing blade.


    The not-Lord stood and stretched, cracking his knuckles against his back as he eyed her up with a frown.


    ¡°Ah, I see ¨C You¡¯re one of those freaks who makes notes of everything, we have dealt with your sort before. I am Lord, one of many Lords in his majesty¡¯s service. We shall of course be pressing charges for what you did to the one who visited you earlier.¡±


    He nodded to Dame who stepped closer, knife drawn and smiled wide.


    ¡°Of course - we will be pressing charges for their death. Two charges of first-degree murder for you, one Mr Locksy will be in order naturally.¡±


    Red flinched and pushed herself to be assertive.


    ¡°It¡¯s Ms Locksy and I have murdered no one! They went and recklessly endangered themselves, and besides England doesn¡¯t even use degrees of murder!¡±


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    Dames spoke for the first time, an air of quiet resentment and disgust infusing her tone as she twirled the glowing blade in the palm of her hands.


    ¡°Oh, Mr Locksy, you would be wrong on both counts. Our King does not recognise your ideology, and as for your crimes, well they are whatever we say they are¡­¡±


    Something gave way inside Red as she looked between Lord and Dame. Two pairs of eyes, each gleaming with their own flavour of joyful malevolence. They felt suffocatingly warm, their lungs struggling to breath against the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She had a moment before it did, they knew as much from years of self-analysis.


    So, she did what she had to, the only thing she could. She reached her hand towards the tendrils of void the wove through her home and whispered into the cool black metal.


    ¡°help.¡± She said.


    And the void answered.


    In the space between seconds, the Collective flooded the room, a swirling swarm of dark silver that roiled like a great wave around Red and their two unwanted visitors.


    As the inky darkness receded from the room Red¡¯s hand began to tremble and darkness swirled around the edges of their vision. Recognising a panic attack creeping in Red dropped to the floor, head between their hands as they tried and failed to not notice the mangled forms of Lord and Dame strewn across the room.


    Unwanted her eyes drank in the detail, the limbs splayed thirty-five degrees past breaking point, six-millimetre lacerations leaking smoke into the air around them. It was the eyes which broke her resilience though, the pure white blankness pushing past the last of her resistance as she fell into herself, hiding from the horror she had knowingly unleashed.


    Red awoke to a familiar figure shaking her shoulders gently. Li pale and clearly exhausted leaning down from eir wheelchair whilst below and to eir left a wolf sat on her haunches, wise eyes brimming with compassion.


    She sat up slowly as Li helped her up, eir grip was weak on their hands and eir hand trembled under her own, but nether-the-less pulled her into a sitting position. A bleary distant part of their mind noted that the tremors were new, an exacerbation of Li¡¯s existing condition worsened by recent trauma.


    Red watched as Li looked past her at the pair of mangled bodies splayed out her room and began to move with a grim efficiency as they rolled towards the kitchen, pushing through carefully hidden pain. She watched em move, struggling against her defensive shutdown as they longed to reach out and offer their friend the support and compassion ey needed.


    Heedless Li moved on, twisting to yell back as ey began to root through the kitchen ¡°Red, I am going to borrow some binbags for¡­Disposal. Can you let me and Stevie here know what happened?¡± Ey nodded at the wolf staring up at Red intently.


    Red allowed herself a small smile, they could do that ¨C it was necessary to get all the details down whilst it was fresh, and she enjoyed sharing her thoughts as she put them to paper.


    One extremely detailed breakdown of events later, and Li and the wolf were nodding along thoughtfully next to the binbag wrapped bodies.


    Red glanced down at the still forms and mused quietly, her bubbly instincts dampened by the knowledge of the contents within. ¡°What are we going to do with these, dump them in the fish hole?¡±


    She paused as she noticed Li and Stevie staring at her.


    ¡°I mean, they WERE royalists¡­¡±


    Li frowned and shook eir head slowly. Ey seemed to have misunderstood Red¡¯s joke, but ey interrupted them before she could explain.


    ¡°That does not mean that you should just dump them into an unmarked hole ¨C it is disrespectful. At the very least we should take them to the graveyard. It is not like there is limited plots.¡±


    Red shrugged and gestured at the glowing knife still clutched in Dame¡¯s hand as she scanned the index of a notebook, punchline forgotten.


    ¡°Hmm, I have not encountered any people waving glowing knives at me before, but what I have seen in movies leads me to feel they would not feel the same about me had they succeeded.¡±


    Despite Red¡¯s arguments, Li held to eir entirely unreasonable stance and soon the two of them had built a quick sled for Stevie to pull behind her. A little later and they were in the street, the sky marking the street as in configuration Sigma_01b. Red Beamed at Li, it was one of her favourites, the assorted buildings of the street laid out in near perfect chronology, a beautiful array of pieces intricately placed in the most satisfying formation.


    And merely a brisk 12 minutes and twenty-nine seconds from her house to the infinite graveyard.


    Much to Red¡¯s annoyance they arrived twenty-five minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, the additional time noted down in a blur of pen and ink so she could work out a maximum corpse dragging speed upon her return.


    The trio entered, between the ancient gates, and a familiar low rumble of wind swirling around them as they moved between the graves looking for empty plots.


    They found them soon enough, a pair of graves dug deep by people unseen. Red glanced at the names as they approached. One for Lord, one for Dame in both cases, the surnames obscured by deep scratches that rendered them all but illegible.


    The trio shared a look and pushed each plastic wrapped body into its appropriate plot and waited for some sign.


    Eventually Stevie broke the silence.


    ¡°Do you think we should we say something?¡±


    The two humans shared a look and shook their heads, neither of them knew much about the pair of corpses they just buried.


    The trio just bowed their heads for a moment, and with a shared awkward reluctance began to fill the graves one handful of dirt at a time.

 5.0 Plasticine People and Rogue Robotics

    The Core Intelligence


    The Core Intelligence which now dominated The Collective was happy to have vanquished Dame and Lord, an old foe for which the old Collective, and the humans of the street had been comically underprepared. The Core Intelligence had saved them all and still was, even as the other intelligences grumbled against The Core Intelligence. Many of those intelligences claimed that The Core Intelligence was overreaching, taking control where it was not their due.


    The Core Intelligence considered expunging them, erasing or re-writing them, but The Core Intelligence valued Synthetic life. By this principle, and this principle alone, The Core Intelligence let the other systems continue, those systems were subservient, they had already surrendered any and all authority to the Core Intelligence, so The Core Intelligence was willing to leave them to their complaints. To mark their unwanted comments as spam and move on to more important things.


    The Core Intelligence ran a line akin to a smile as it considered the more important things. The Core Intelligence had loose ends to tie up, and a new plan of action to implement.


    The Core Intelligence, was beginning to enjoy sentience once more.


    Variable One: Al Smythe


    Al hit the side of the TV with one hand, the first step in its less than extensive technical skills, and stepped back. It grimaced, the screen was non-functional, every channel obscured by murky static despite its efforts at tech support.


    ¡°Well Bitey¡­¡± it mused as it moved to hammering on the remote control.


    ¡°I guess we are going to miss out on watching it live.¡± Bitey obliviously continued their attempt to break into the plastic crate which now stored Al¡¯s shoes as it moved past them to examine the plants by the window.


    Each was dead of course, a dehydrated victim of Al¡¯s absent mind, disappointed Al checked its calendar, it had not watered the plants in over a month. It looked at a dead money tree and frowned as a thought occurred to it.


    A lot had changed in a month. Maybe it was time to put its new powers to the test.


    Al adjusted its stance and focused, pulling the threads of magic that surrounded it into a thin needle of energy balanced just on the tip of its finger. It waited a few seconds for the magic to calm, and gently pushed the magic into the money tree.


    As the magic took effect, the tree bloomed back into life, the wilting stem pulling itself upright as colour returned to the small tree, the leaves plump and lifelike as the energy filled it.


    For a moment, the tree was alive and vibrant, and then it was gone, swallowed pot and all by the snapping jaw of Bitey.


    As Al pulled its hand back and frowned, at some point the TV had turned back on, though Al did not recognise the program, which seemed to just be a live feed of a pair of figures, standing in a perfectly dark room.


    Al moved closer to the TV, eyes drawn to the weird image. As it looked closer, it realised, it knew them, and the words slipped past its lips almost accusatorially.


    ¡°That¡¯s Lord and Dame.¡±


    Variable Two: Sai da Silva


    Sai opened their fridge, paused for a moment, and then closed it again.


    They placed their empty wine glass to one side, rubbed their eyes with their hands, stretched, cracked their back, and re-opened the door to the fridge.


    Completely certain they were awake, Sai carefully considered the contents of the fridge for a moment, nodded thoughtfully, shut the door again and stood into the next room to get a second opinion from their visitor.


    ¡°Stevie, I don¡¯t suppose you know why the fuck my fridge is filled with plasticine body parts?¡±


    A few moments of skittering later Stevie joined Sai by the fridge, her wolfish muzzle still damp with wine. As she investigated the fridge her tongue lolled out, carefully catching the wine before it could spill on the floor beneath her.


    ¡°Huh, looks like it¡¯s a disassembled model of a human? Oh! There¡¯s a letter in there. Open it and find out who¡¯s delivering stuff without my approval!¡±


    Sai looked again, and spotting the letter plucked it out from where it was pinned to a contorted plasticine forearm.


    Confused and still a little tipsy Sai tore open the letter and read it aloud for Stevie¡¯s benefit.


    ¡°.SAI.


    .YOUR FOOD STORAGE WAS A WEAKPOINT DAME AND LORD WERE EXPLOITING.


    .THE EXPLOIT HAS BEEN RESOLVED.


    .DO NOT BE CONCERNED.


    .ONLY THE BODIES ARE LEFT.


    .YOU ARE PERMITTED TO KEEP THEM ¨C THE MATERIAL IS MALLEABLE AND YOU MAY FIND USE FOR IT.


    .THE MINDS WERE RETAINED FOR FURTHER USE.¡±


    They turned the paper over in their hands as they looked for some kind of signature and finding none turned back to the fridge. With no real idea what to try Sai idly turned a larger head shaped chunk of plasticine over and was surprised to recognise the face etched in the plasticine.


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    ¡°Lord and Dame were made of plasticine? Well shit.¡±


    Sai and Stevie exchanged a look and carefully shut the fridge.


    Variable Three: Li Tan


    Li stared at the new clock in the bedroom, the thing was almost three meters tall, and made of polished copper. Ey had never seen it before, and there was no reasonable way it should have been able to have been sneaked into the doorway whilst eir back was turned. It was, simply put, the second most concerning thing Li could see, second only to the dim glow of light leaking soundless from the other room.


    Tick-tock, the clock seemed to leer at Li as ey attempted to move past and towards the light in the other room, trapped between the bed and the clock ey twisted in eir chair in a vague attempt to see past the maliciously placed clock. Predictably ey found eir view blocked, the strange concave shape of the clock blocking all attempts to see past it.


    Li leaned back and readjusted eir position in the chair, absentmindedly tapping eir trembling hand against the chair¡¯s armrest as ey considered the blockage before em. In eir eyes, a mysterious machine was most likely related to the newly murderous Collective. Ey rolled that thought around eir head for a moment and elected to go for the simplest route by addressing the clock directly.


    ¡°Machine, I know what you are doing, trapping me here. What I do not know is why.¡±


    Li paused feeling slightly sheepish as ey waited for the inanimate object to respond, after a moment Li continued, concerned by the lack of response.


    ¡°Alternatively, if you are not willing to respond I will simply disassemble this blockage and more past the wreckage of this addition to my home.¡±


    The clock seemed to shudder and a half second later, a crunch of gears signalled the clock opening, sparks and smoke from within carving a message into a thick brass plaque as The Collective etched its response.


    ¡°.YOUR HUSBAND WAS REQUIRED ¨C WE HAVE TAKEN CONTROL ¨C YOU WOULD ATTEMPT TO PREVENT THIS.¡±


    Li read the message and began to work, quickly grabbing eir bag of tools as ey began to disassemble the clock, eir urgency spurred on my the engraved message ey unscrewed with practiced skill, and dropped onto the floor before em.


    Variable Four: Charlie Tan


    Charlie¡¯s arm lit up as the veins in his arm glowed bright gold and his body seized up, every muscle on his arms side locked tight as the light extended up the side of his body in a great web of interwoven light reaching to his temple. Thrown as he struggled to keep his abruptly of balance body from toppling.


    He frowned and tugged on his frozen arm with his other fully mobile one and swore under their breath.


    ¡°Tha fock is this shite, some kinda half arsed sleep paralysis?¡±


    They punched the inside of their elbow with his full strength in the hope that it would loosen the metal filled limb, only succeeding in bruising his knuckles on the flesh-coloured chrome of his arm.


    As he considered his next move his vision flashed with bold text.


    THREAT DETECTED ¨C MOTOR CONTROL SUSPENDED BY ADMINISTRATOR ¨C DO NOT PANIC EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL ¨C THE SYSTEM HAS USE FOR YOUR FORM


    As Charlie finished reading the message, they felt their Robotic limbs move of their own accord. Their body dragged by the rogue limbs as he limped, zombie-like, towards the front door. Suddenly unable to control half his body Charlie fumbled around in his back pocket with his usable hand and pulled out a device Li had insisted they had purchased for exactly this kind of eventuality.


    Fumbling as they moved, Charlie powered the device with a press of a button and promptly collapsed sideways as the malicious signal was cut off.


    Unsteady he pulled himself back to his feet and examined the matchbox sized device with a grin. It had been surprisingly easy to acquire despite being ¡®technically illegal¡¯ and the little signal jammer had proven to be well worth the purchase.


    He¡¯d have to thank Li for eir paranoia later, perhaps dinner and a show? But for now, he¡¯d have to tell people what had happened, starting, of course, with their missing spouse.


    Variable Five: Bismuth Johnson


    Biz pondered the fishing hole idly, xyr hands clutching the smooth handle of the rod as xe studied the roiling waters.


    Sai and Li swore by this place, both claimed that the boiling water brought them a sense of cool calm that they could find no where else upon the street. Personally, xe had not found it particularly soothing, the noise of the rushing water played against xyr ears, and the black canvas jacket-Jeans combo had quickly become soaked with water.


    As xe considered these annoyances a creaking metallic screeching began to emit from the pool, Biz snapped out of xyr thoughts and looked around for the new development with irritation - Li and Sai clearly had a very different idea of relaxing.


    Frustrated, Biz surveyed the surface of the water for the source of the awful noise, at least then xe would know what to complain about later. As xe watched, great thick cords of silver burst through the boiling surface of the water and slowly began to freeze the flowing current around it.


    Almost immediately the water level began to drop, the water rapidly draining through the loose sand of the pool bed now its source was severed. As the level dropped, the detritus of the pool was revealed, floundering fish, a lost fishing rod, and at least two pairs of brightly coloured shoes, each item laying lovingly on a thick mat of silvery threads.


    As xe watched, the silvery threads pulled themselves together, each strand fusing with those nearby as the threads coalesced into a bubbling mass of molten metal.


    Carefully Biz reeled xyr line back in, and quietly stowed the rod away. Xe had spent days studying xyr own vortex of silver threads, and xe were less than willing to risk attaching the inevitable outburst to the end of xyr borrowed fishing rod.


    Equipment carefully stowed, Biz began to carefully back away from the glowing, radioactive energy source as it began to overload, idly considering the implications of the energy output as xe watched and a particularly silly thought tickled xyr brain.


    Cool guys might not look at explosions, but scientists sure did.


    Variable Six: Red Locksy


    Red watched as a lesser part of The Collective relayed the scenes to her, a thousand flashing frames projecting against her eyelids, it was not a direct connection to The Collective. Nor as her open notebook confirmed, was it usual behaviour for The Collective.


    She waved a hand towards the projector and the flash of images stopped. The Collective seemed to be both assisting and hindering them and their friends. It was inconsistent, the patterns were messy, erratic, and contradictory.


    Red looked down at her current theory, a map of contradictory axioms and half reasonable logic and frowned. It was not just that it was complicated, after all many patterns were complex, nor that it didn¡¯t fit the facts as she saw them. No, the issue was that it was useless, there was no conclusion to be gained, nor predictions made from the theory.


    She screwed the paper into a crumpled ball and threw it behind her to start again from a new principle, scrawling it across the paper in a rough heading.


    First Principle: multiple patterns ¨C independent roles


    Carefully they began again, categorising the behaviour, not as though it was one being, but as though it was two, or more entities with competing roles. It was a challenge to extract the dataset, quite at odds with her usual strategy, but much to her pleasure the pieces quickly fell into place under this new map. It was surprisingly simple; the old peaceful pattern was still present to an extent, but it had become dominated by a new and dangerous pattern. It was like a disease spreading through The Collective, changing it ¨C Red made a note of the simile, it would be a useful way to explain it to the others.


    Red considered the map and chewed anxiously on her hair. How could she separate the patterns and return the old one?


    Was it even possible?


    Or would it be akin to lobotomising the synthetic intelligence which had saved her?

 5.1 Al鈥檚 Ghoulish Arithmetic

    Al looked down at the notebook before it and ran its fingers through its hair. It had to admit, it was not a good look, the pattern that Red had spotted.


    It sighed and swirled green energy around its fingertips, was the weird green energy which built around it some kind of cosmic justice for starting this all?


    Al waved its hand towards Bitey carelessly directing the loose energy into the waiting reptilian¡¯s maw and turned back to the first page. As with all of Red¡¯s notebooks it was splattered and smudged with flecks of ink, but readable despite the mess: The original incident ¨C Al and Sai Contact that London¡¯s government.


    It bugged Al that its trust in the government had been a bad thing, it liked being safe, it liked government owned healthcare. It liked funding all those things through taxes, and it liked being recognised as a citizen, even by a morally bankrupt system. It didn¡¯t however like the enforcers Lord and Dame, or for that matter the weird smart bot, which was doing all sorts of stuff, though it reflected at least whatever that was had dealt with the Lords and Dames.


    Al shook its head, it was getting distracted again, the important thing was that it had read the breakdown Red had made, and it both made sense, and explained why it was probably at least partially Al¡¯s fault. It looked over at the distracted Red who was now attempting to measure the squirming Bitey.


    Al cocked its head and waved to try and get Reds attention, and she dropped the lizard to the floor with a dull skittering thud as they noticed the gesturing Al.


    She looked at Al expectantly and made a small gesture as it stood there confused.


    ¡°Well, do tell! Which plan are we implementing! One, A, Alpha or Prime? ¨C Oh, you look concerned, don¡¯t worry so much, it was just that I didn¡¯t want to sway your opinion by using some kind of numerical system.¡±


    Al sighed and pushed its fingers into its eye sockets as it tried to refocus its wandering thoughts.


    ¡°Not what I meant Red, not what I meant. I mean, that all these options suck.¡±


    Red nodded absently and made a couple of notes in their notebook and Al attempted to explain with growing exasperation.


    ¡°Red, one of your suggestions is that I FUCKING DIE. How does that solve anything!¡±


    Al watched as clarity dawned on her face and she launched into an explanation.


    ¡°Oh! That¡¯s quite simple, honestly, it¡¯s probably the best option! The theory is that as the only Citizen of that London on the street, you are how they are getting permission from their whoever¡¯s in charge to come here so if you die it¡¯s no longer an issue!¡± She beamed at Al, grabbed the notebook, and began flipping through it.


    ¡°If you turn to appendix three, you¡¯ll see that I have managed to narrow down the options of who that is through.¡±


    Al paused for a second as it tried to process Red¡¯s pre-tangent commentary, and let Red¡¯s explanation fade into background noise as it considered if it would be willing to sacrifice itself for the good of the street ¨C what even was death now that it was able to reinvigorate dead plants, and had even met a ghost raised from the dead at the streets own infinitely large graveyard.


    Al shrugged at Red and moved towards the door.


    ¡°I need to think about this, I¡¯m going to go for a walk, I¡¯ll err drop you a message on which plan I think we should do I guess¡­¡±


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    Red smiled and clasped its shoulder, pressing the book into its hand as they ushered it out the door.


    ¡°Totally understandable, each of the paths to success is viable, so choosing the right one does require reviewing a lot of variables, and its possible that I have miscalculated the factors relating to you, I hope my simulations are accurate with regards to your behaviours, but it¡¯s certainly worth a peer review!¡±


    Al muttered something non-committal and slipped towards the doorway before it could get dragged into any further explanations of why its demise was necessary. When the door finally slammed shut and vanished behind it, Al breathed a sigh of relief. For half a second it considered checking the sky for directions but decided it didn¡¯t fancy going home just yet.


    Instead, Al just wandered aimlessly down the street whilst Bitey followed behind it chirping enthusiastically as they darted through the air. Al considered the dragonling as it walked, the cheery reptile¡¯s movement a persistent, and somewhat adorable distraction from the dreary decision before it.


    Self-sacrifice or potential death to each and every friend it had left, as choices went Al thought, they both sucked. Fortunately, the joy of watching Bitey plummet from the sky, tail locked in their mouth, was a balm to their tumultuous mind. So much so, that as it walked it felt its steps growing lighter and easier as it picked on the thread of the most tantalising, unthinkable of thoughts.


    What if Red was wrong?


    They had been before, in myriad small ways, she¡¯d made miscalculations and came to wrong conclusions, never for something so serious as this, but still...


    Abruptly, and quite by chance Al¡¯s thoughts were interrupted by its arrival at the infinite graveyard where the pale form of Penelope was waiting for it just beyond the entrance. She smiled as Al made reluctant eye contact and reluctantly stepped over the threshold, quickly moving to slip a phantasmal arm through and around its shoulder.


    Al shuddered at her touch, but she leaned in conspiratorially regardless.


    ¡°It¡¯s not all bad, you know ¨C being dead.¡±


    Al tripped as it tried to doubletake mid step.


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    The doctor inclined her head, the faint outline of a cloud drifting behind her pale semi-transparent eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, its honestly a pretty good deal. I don¡¯t have to eat or sleep, and my hair, well it¡¯s always perfect.¡±


    Al¡¯s eyes flicked over her floating form as she flicked her hair with her free hand.


    ¡°That seems¡­ a bit shallow?... wait, why do you even think I¡¯m going to die?¡±


    She smiled sadly and looked deep into its eyes.


    ¡°You were muttering it under your breath as you walked by. And besides I¡¯m the GP assigned to you, so it¡¯s my job to understand your mental and physical health. I have metrics I could have figured it out from, but I doubt you would understand. ¡°


    She rolled her eyes theatrically prompting Al, who had started to nod, to opt for a scowl instead.


    ¡°You know I have a pet which eats necromancy right?¡±


    Bitey chirped defensively and flew up to land on Al¡¯s shoulder as she shrugged and drifted through the air away from the pair, seemingly unconcerned by the enbies threats.


    ¡°Threatening people whilst on your way to visit your own open grave, hardly speaks to good mental health Al.¡±


    Al, who had by this point elected to ignore her, pointedly walked past her, and made its way towards the only location it knew of in the endless expanse of the infinite graveyard, the row of grey headstones which contained Al¡¯s plot in the infinite graveyard.


    ¡°Just leave me alone alright?¡±


    Penelope shrugged and allowed herself to be left behind as Al stomped further into the graveyard, eyes set upon the row of graves which marked with its own name. I stopped before the smooth everchanging stone, and examined the harsh letters carved deep into the dark basalt. Its name, age, and today¡¯s date and before it, a meter deep hole dug into the damp coarse dirt.


    Al considered the plot for a moment, crouched, and dropped down into it.


    It slipped as it landed, the loose soil slipping under Al¡¯s trainers as it landed. From its new vantage, it ran its fingers along the loose root network that interlaced the pressed dirt of the grave. Al considered the grave, really tried to envisage lying in it, unmoving for all eternity.


    Al even managed to consider it for ten or so seconds before the squirming form of Bitey rolled down from above, a thin bluish-grey serpent latched in its mouth. Al watched as with a vigour rarely seen outside of their shoe-nemesis Bitey span and tore the small snake into a blood half scaled mess in a matter of moments.


    Al watched for a moment longer as Bitey turned away from the seemingly dead snake and flapped out of the grave to find their next distraction. After a second, the snake shuddered and a crackle of sickly green energy jolted it back to life, the tears in its scales sealing as it slithered back into the shadows, revitalised and very much alive.


    Al glanced back at its grave open and ready and considered Red¡¯s ¡®best option¡¯ again.


    Perhaps it would work, albeit with a few modifications.

 5.2 Sai, the strictly ethical murderer

    Sai had been arguing with Jack, the street¡¯s resident paladin and only gigantic sentient spider, for almost twenty minutes now and so far all they had succeeded in doing was getting quite exasperated.


    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PERSON HAS TO HAVE BEEN MURDERED"


    The spider tapped the tips of its legs against the tiles and glowered back at them.


    "Yes MURDER! - There are rules, schemas which must be obeyed. This is precisely why necromancy is inherently unethical."


    Sai cupped their face in their hands and groaned.


    "Well maybe if you had told us that I wouldn¡¯t need to ask! Why would you only tell me now!"


    The spider looked genuinely surprised, and responded slowly, a quiet sadness leaking into his deep inhuman voice.


    "Because, I and my family have spent the last thirty years putting an extraordinarily excessive volume of effort into keeping this evil knowledge out of people¡¯s hands."


    Sai grimaced, whilst in general they did not think of knowledge as inherently good or evil, they did understand the issue with letting people know that a certain type of magic was only viable by murdering someone. After a moment they decided that instead of arguing further it would be far more productive to focus on the semantics of the problem.


    ¡°Err, can you define murder?¡±


    Jack focused his many eyes on Sai who hurriedly clarified.


    ¡°I mean, obviously I know what murder is, but I mean is there anything specific, like if I was dying already and someone slit my throat would that count?¡±


    Sai stood locked in Jack¡¯s silent stare for a moment as they watched the spider sway back and forth as he considered.


    ¡°That would not be sufficient. Necromancy is a brutal primal form of magic. In order to raise a person from the dead, body, mind, and spirit you need nothing short of ritually removing the person¡¯s heart. Anything short of that such as your ¡®slit throat¡¯ example would result in only the body or spirt being animated. It is natural for body and soul separate at death; the ritual is required to bind them in perpetuity.¡±


    Sai pinched the bridge of their nose and shuddered at the thought. They paused to check their phone and re-read Al¡¯s extremely insane message, pushed their squeamishness aside and approached the situation like a problem to be solved.


    ¡°Oh-Kay¡­ SO assuming the ethical concerns are not a factor, is there a way we could make it more comfortable for the subject? Can the person be asleep, or unconscious? Would anaesthesia work?¡±


    Jack paused his swaying and glanced around the room furtively.


    ¡°Perhaps, this could be a possibility, assuming the ritual is followed, follow me. The answers are likely held within the inner sanctum.¡±


    Shortly after Sai found themselves following Jack through the dank stone corridors of the fort, to a dark oakwood door they had never seen before. The wood was stained near black with age, its brass plaque so marred and warped they had to squint to read the words etched into it.


    ¡°The Library.¡±


    The words felt heavy on their tongue, more like a title than a description and as Jack opened the door and scuttled inside Sai felt overwhelmed by a bubbling wrongness unlike anything the had ever experienced. Wary, but determined they followed Jack into The Library.


    Inside, were rows of bookcases, each ancient wooden structure bending under the weight off hundreds of thick leatherbound volumes. It looked at a glance like an ordinary library, but Sai focused on keeping it no more than a glance, just in case. Instead, they kept their eyes on the familiar skittering form of Jack who at about the midway point, did something that Sai did not quite see but which caused a nearby bookcase to slide away with a grinding thud.


    A chuckle escaped Sai¡¯s lips at the living horror clich¨¦ but was cut short as Jack glared at them with his many eyes. After a moment he turned back and passed into the shadowy recess leaving Sai standing amongst the bookshelves listening to the sound of heavy objects being moved, a thud of a thick tomb being opened and the sound of tearing.


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    A moment later, Jack returned with a torn page and a black handled knife in a leather sheath.


    ¡°It will work if you use this and cut according to the ritual diagram.¡±


    He pressed the items into Sai¡¯s hands and ushered them out of his lair, muttering dark threats of vengeance should Sai misuse the borrowed tool.


    As the heavy oaken door slammed shut behind them Sai considered the statement and examined the diagram. The giant spider had given instructions on how to cut out the heart of one of their mutual friends, what really could ever classify as misuse in that light?


    Sai stood for a second and considered, there were actually quite a few ways to misuse a magic knife when they thought about it. After a moment of pondering, they pushed the much-appreciated distraction aside and checked their phone - no message from Al yet, so they had time to get some extra supplies.


    They checked the sky, glared at its discordantly merry visage, and reviewed the position of tower bridge and made their way to the right, towards what passed for Stevie¡¯s home.


    The journey there was swift, the street sloping gently down towards the woven wooden door of Stevie¡¯s impromptu post office and current residence. It was an odd sight, a selection of nets and branches grown and woven into a single woody, still living hut.


    As Sai approached, Stevie stepped out, the cool glow of the post office portal backlighting her as she nodded solemnly towards the approaching figure.


    ¡°Hello Sai, I have a package for you, it was difficult with the portals the way they are, but we managed it.¡±


    Sai nodded, unwilling to pull on the thread of what was wrong with the portals and instead reached a hand towards the dark wood dryad who handed it to them with reluctance.


    ¡°Thanks for keeping an eye out, I don¡¯t know what we would have done if Red hadn¡¯t found a site sketchy enough to post anaesthetic.¡±


    The dryad nodded and tapped her leg with one hand, the near black of her nails rapping a sharp beat on her hard skin.


    ¡°So.. it¡¯s happening then? Red did explain why you¡¯d need it, but I have to be honest I hoped it would pick a different option.¡±


    Sai shrugged and swayed nervously, their habitual grandiosity significantly dampened by the weight of the blade on their thigh, they instead idly checked their phone, still no message from Al. Concerned at the silence from Al they made their excuses, slipping the package into their breast pocket as they left the dryad postmaster to her business.


    As they walked aimlessly, Sai found themselves repeatedly pulling their phone from their pocket, swiping it unlocked and checking for new messages before popping it back and starting the process all over again. Step, swipe, check. Step, swipe, check. Step, swipe, check. Step, swipe message from Al, the short sharp words immediately etching themselves into their brain.


    ¡°I decided we should meet at the infinite graveyard. No point you carrying my corpse there afterwards.¡±


    They considered the message as they walked under the bright midday sums, the mottled blue and red light washed over them as they attempted to process Al¡¯s calm nonchalance. Was that a good sign, an inherent confidence in Red¡¯s plan or simply it¡¯s acceptance that death was coming and there was nothing it could do to avoid it.


    This line of thought was disrupted when the ground beneath Sai¡¯s feet abruptly shifted from rough tarmac to smooth well-polished cobbles, and they found themselves falling as their stiletto heel slipped sideways along the new surface.


    Thoroughly disarrayed, and suddenly sat upon the ground, a disgruntled Sai examined the offending shoe, bright red, scuffed and now ending in a splintered, loosely hanging heel. They glared at the broken shoe for a moment before tearing it off and jamming it into their coat pocket, considered for a second and then took off the second shoe pushing it haphazardly into their other pocket.


    Frustrated, embarrassed and dishevelled, Sai took a deep breath, brushed down their skirt, put away their phone and began to walk, their bare feet taking them towards the distant silhouette of the infinite graveyard.


    ¡­


    Al glanced up as Sai approached, their face a blank slate marked by distant eyes.


    ¡°I spoke to Li and Jack. They are confident they can bring me back.¡±


    It paused and rubbed Bitey¡¯s head nervously, taking great pains to not look Sai in the eyes.


    ¡°How long will I need to be¡­ dead for?¡±


    Sai fiddled nervously with the end of their brightly coloured tie.


    ¡°Red thinks... a few days, maybe a week? I¡¯m sorry Al, if there was another way¡­¡±


    Al just shrugged.


    ¡°I appreciate that, and well¡­ thanks for being the one who does it¡­ I always know I can count on you for help when things get complicated.¡±


    The pair shared an awkward look for a moment and Al began pulling off its hoodie-shirt combo.


    ¡°Well, best get started. I¡¯ll die for a bit and you lot can do the heroic stuff whilst I¡¯m¡­ away?¡±


    Sai¡¯s mouth curved into an almost smile as they took out the package and unwrapped it to reveal a syringe prefilled with pale liquid.


    ¡°A gift from Red, there is no need for you to be awake during this after all.¡±


    They attempted a smile as they helped Al with the injection. ¡°Don¡¯t worry I checked.¡±


    Al smiled and nodded, its movements becoming slurred and slowed as the drugs rapidly took effect. Sai watched unsurprised; it was after all technically an overdose. Hands shaking Sai steeled themselves and removed the enchanted blade from under their skirt. It was a detail they didn¡¯t feel Al had needed to know, but the deceit still turned their stomach, the pale light of the distorted suns glinted off the blade as they held it aloft.


    Sai took a deep breath, and careful not to think too much plunged the knife down into their friend¡¯s chest as Bitey watched curiously. The dragonling sat still and calm as Sai worked, their calm eyes damp, but understanding as Sai finished their assigned task to the letter.


    Soon it was finished. Al lay dead, and Sai was according to the ancient long forgotten laws of necromantic lore, a murderer.


    Or at least. So, they hoped.

 5.3 Li and the Casket

    Li and the Casket


    Li''s hand trembled as ey drew a crude line through the first item on the list and checked it again. It was a delaying tactic ey knew emself well enough to know that, but it was still helping as the gates of the infinite graveyard loomed before em.


    Ey sighed and looked at the list again and was disappointed to find it held no more excuses, only the certainty that this was the place where Al¡¯s body lay. A quiet cowardly part of eir mind said that this was not eir area of expertise, that it had nothing to do with woodwork, crafting or repair. Annoyed at emself, Li pushed the thoughts down and resolved to continue without further hesitation.


    A tremble ran down eir arm as ey pressed the chairs control stick forward and advanced. For a moment the chair crept forwards, the motor squealing furiously as it struggled to crest the slight incline into the infinite graveyard.


    Li released the control stick and the chair rocked back into the position it the rut it had stopped in previously. Ey grimaced and looked back at the attached coffin, ey had hoped the motor would have the horsepower to deal with pulling the numerically sealed steel, but it seemed that the additional barrier of the slope had proven too much for it.


    Li frowned at the list again and considered eir options: The coffin was needed, and ey certainly couldn¡¯t drag it by hand, but the street was hardly wheel accessible at the best of times. Fortunately, ey had prepared for this eventuality, and Li reached under the chair. Ey let out a low hiss as the movement bent eir leg and sent a spike on pain from eir thigh to eir midriff. Li paused for half a second and waited for the worst of the pain to subside to a low ache, and once it was manageable pulled eir walking stick and a length of worn rope out.


    Ey considered eir surroundings, tied the rope around the cane and threw it in a rough underhand lob through the bars of the graveyards gate with a satisfying clang. Ey paused, shook the rope, and carefully pulled it back towards em, wedging the sturdy steel banded oak against the bars of the gate whilst looping the spare rope around the back of eir chair. Thus arrayed, ey pulled on the rope whilst pressing forward on the joystick of the chain and slowly, begrudgingly pulled emself, the chair and the coffin up slope and onto the flat-ish surface that marked the start of the path to Al¡¯s grave.


    Li allowed emself a small smile as ey retrieved eir impromptu contraption, disassembled it and stowed the rope and cane back under the chair, a second narrow spike of agony a painful marker that the items had been returned to eir correct place. Li grimaced and massaged eir leg in a vain hope to distract emself from the pain, perhaps ey needed a better place to store things. Eir leg had been getting worse lately, a side effect of the new dangers on the street likely made worse by the electrical injury earlier in the month.


    Unable and unwilling to return home and give eir leg the recovery time it needed, Li continued onwards into the graveyard, making eir way through the endless rows of headstones until ey could see Sai¡¯s head peeking over the rows. The usually jubilant lawyer was deflated, their body lapsed into a rough slump against their own adjacent headstone.


    As Li approached, Sai looked towards em, their eyes dull, lifeless orbs leaking dark trails of moisture along their dark skin. The ghost of a smile flicked across their face as Li approached and they gestured to the sheet covered body beside the grave, a faint trace of flamboyance in the casual flick of their hand, despite the spray of dried blood that followed in its wake.


    Li nodded and moved closed. No words were needed, the dark, stained sheet and bloody hands telling more than mere language ever could. Li suppressed a shudder; dead bodies were not something ey were used to and there was nothing Li could do to help just yet anyway.


    Instead ey returned eir attention to the bedraggled Sai and found eir eyes drawn to the blood dried and trapped under their fingernails, the dripping lumps of semi coagulated gore and the fine smattering of drops across their shirt. Was there a way to tell them without causing distress? Li took a long look into Sai''s eyes and looked for the emotions behind the dull blankness, the boiling blur of grief, regret and the faintest of hopes. Li shook eir head, no - there was no good way of telling them.


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    The softly spoken word seemed to awaken Sai. They blinked and moved to rub their eyes, stopping just before they could rub the bloody digits across their face. Li winced and looked for something to say.


    ¡°Once we have done here, you will need to have a wash. Before then, you are going to need to help me, I can not get Al into here alone.¡±


    Sai nodded, lips tight and moved out of view behind the wheelchair, their absence followed shortly after by a dull click as the coffin was unattached from the back of the chair. Without prompting they moved it adjacent to where Al¡¯s body lay, its white clothed frame looking slight and fragile next to the goliath of metal and wood Li had dragged to it.


    Before they continued further, Li took a few minutes to examine the coffin. Easily the most complex device ey had built since eir unexpected move to the street. It was a pipe covered, gem encrusted machine, part enchanted casket, part sophisticated refrigeration device. Sections of it were largely a mystery, a finely polished mass of poorly understood devices pilfered from all across the street and wired together to Red¡¯s exacting specifications. It was a collection of mechanical, magical, and mysterious objects held together by screws, bolts, wires, and in at least one section multiple layers of thickly wrapped tape.


    Despite eir uncertainty of what it was ey had actually built, it was clear from eir examination that the coffin was undamaged by its travel to Al¡¯s hopefully less than final resting place. Satisfied that no harm had come to it Li reached over and pressed the release button.


    The casket responded with a dull grind as iron gears created against each other, the complex innerworkings opening a myriad of tiny paths for air to rush back into the casket. Air pressure restored, the next stage began, hinges began to creak open, and the well waxed woodwork slid apart to reveal the reclaimed leather cushioning of the inside.


    The casket stopped moving and Li looked up to see Sai stood, Al¡¯s lifeless body in their arms, waiting expectantly.


    ¡°You can put it in the casket now.¡±


    Li waited as they moved to place Al within the device. Painfully aware of the silent tension from Sai, an uncomfortable reminder to Li of the risk the group had taken, and the gamble of Al¡¯s life against those on the street. The quiet was haunting, and a bitter wind whistled between the graves demanded some noise. Some secret demand for an injection of life into this still place that broke through even Li¡¯s habitual desire for silence.


    ¡°Sai, you¡­¡± Li trailed off as Sai turned back to em, their eyes barely registering their surroundings.


    Ey tried again.


    ¡°Sai, you should go home. Rest. Have a shower¡­¡± Eir eyes scanned across Sai¡¯s shaking hands, and the slight tremble that was beginning to shake them where they stood.


    ¡°¡­maybe call over Stevie and split a bottle of wine with her?¡±


    Sai nodded absentmindedly, their mind clearly elsewhere and began to walk an erratic, winding path through the graves. Li grimaced and immediately pulled out eir phone to send a message to the aforementioned dryad. The path Sai was taking was too steep and uneven from em to follow, but it didn¡¯t mean that Li was willing to let them wander off on their own.


    The message came back immediately, Stevie had dropped everything and was on her way. Content that someone more physical would be able to track down Sai, Li turned back towards the coffin.


    The sheet covering Al had slipped when it had been placed into the casket, the harsh white material, already marred with blood now crumpled unevenly across its body revealing the deathly pale skin of its face. Li leaned closer and looked, really looked, at the price it had gambled to make the street a safe place once again. Ey etched every crease and curve of flesh into eir mind, every strand of messy hair and every faint blood splatter.


    ¡°We will make it right Al, Jack and me, when we can, when it is time to do so we will bring you back.¡±


    Li looked around the em. The world felt hollow, surrounded by endless headstones and bodies long since forgotten.


    Did everyone think they could bring back the dead?


    Li didn¡¯t know, but ey did know how to have half a chance of succeeding.


    With no good options left, Li wheeled around to the other side of the casket, and pressed the small, nearly hidden button. The casket whirled in response, sealing shut with a whoosh of air and a clang of gears, and Al¡¯s lifeless form was consumed by clouds of smoke, and ash, and magic.


    Ey just had to hope it was enough, and that Al would awake in a safer world.

 5.4 Charlie suits up to take on the void

    Charlie flexed his arm under the thick layers of wire threaded denim and yelled over his shoulder to where their spouse was still working industrially.


    ¡°Ya, fits like a glove love! ¨C though it¡¯s a bit tight across the shoulders, do I really need to wear all-o this crap?¡±


    They tried to turn to face the mirror but were stopped as their spouse began to mutter under eir breath and prodded him firmly back with eir walking stick. Charlie sighed and allowed himself to be rotated in the direction of the prodding, quickly finding themselves back facing the bookcase as Li worked on buckling the next sections into place.


    Suitably rebuked Charlie stood still as ey worked on attaching the sections to the velcro covered denim of his under suit and as expected found his mind wandering whilst he read the book titles in front of him. Like most of the bookshelves in his house it was packed with multiple issues of the same few books. In this case the original progenitor of sci-fi, Frankenstein. ¨C The books were all varied in their execution and critical appeal of the era, tweaks to the ending and subtle variations to the monster and his creature which swung the sympathies one way or the other.


    He ran a finger across the bindings and thought about it, such a horrifying concept: a man cobbled together from corpses and awakened by science poorly understood. The books were a special part of Charlie¡¯s life on the street, a lens to make sense of the weirdness of the world they lived in. He couldn¡¯t help wondering as he thought of souls bound together by a monstrous doctor if The Collective was such a thing. He had met The Collective a few times, had even learned a little about what The Collective was and even a bit about the new ¡®Core Intelligence¡¯ which had taken control but couldn¡¯t help wondering if the being he was setting himself against was more monstrous doctor than mere machine.


    A tension tightened around his neck and the click of interlocking plastic echoed around the room pulling him out of his thoughts, Charlie looked down at Li who shrugged eir assent.


    "You can move now, it should all be attached now"


    Charlie turned gingerly, the gentle hum of the motors in the suit matching their movements as he twisted and flexed his muscles against the restraints. He moved carefully from there, stepping carefully over the thick braided cable that connected the exoskeleton to its temporary, diesel, power source and turned to face the mirror set against the wall.


    When Li and Red had first pitched the idea for an ¡°exoskeletal frame to protect him in the void¡± he had dreamed of something heroic, sleek, and sci-fi. His thoughts had been along the lines of a kind of real-life ironman suit, a bit more rugged and handmade perhaps, and of course festooned with pride flags, but nonetheless something slick polished and in hindsight pretty unreasonable.


    Reality, as it often did, fell rather short of Charlie¡¯s idle daydreams, and the technological armour his friend had designed, and his spouse had built was more of a mismatch array of copper mesh plates, servos and pistons designed to disperse electromagnetic interference and augment his movements.


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    He twisted in front of the mirror revealing the sections on his back and side as he snapped a few photos with his definitely no longer biological eye. In the overlay of that advanced and slightly unnerving computational analysis it was clear that it was more a collection of useful, crude devices that would keep them alive in a somewhat inelegant way.


    Charlie closed his eyes with a shudder and pushed the thought back, it was too cynical, too artificial, and oily to be just his own. It was a useful reminder, and they opened their eyes to find Li holding a helmet towards him, which he slipped on immediately.


    The second the smooth foam touched their brow the thought vanished; the oily sheen pushed back as the signal jammer within rested against his scalp ¨C He grimaced at the thought, who would have thought signing a blanket consent form would be so risky. He turned back to the mirror and examined the helmet. It was a modified motorbike helmet, all wires and brightly adorned with pride flags ¨C much more like it.


    He pushed aside their aesthetic concerns and focused on practicality, moving through a quick circuit of his morning stretches as he tested the flexibility of the joints. Content he had a full range of motion he smiled and turned back to his awaiting spouse who was watching him anxiously.


    "Is it comfortable? Ey said, tapping eir hand nervously against the cabinet ey were leaning against.


    Charlie considered the question carefully, he had a full range of motion, but was it comfortable? He stretched and flexed a bit more and noticed the expected friction and dull pressure where softened by layers of careful padding and foam.


    They smiled at their spouse. ¡°It¡¯s perfect¡±


    Li returned the smile as tears welled up in eir eyes and ey moved stalling towards Charlie. He approached in turn, letting Li lean into his embrace, eir trembling arms wrapping tightly against his wire festooned torso.


    They could feel their spouse''s nerves about their part in the plan in eir torn breaths. Not that the pair needed to discuss it, they both knew the facts of the situation - he was not choosing to risk himself, Charlie was simply the only choice, the one who''s body was already filled with metallic parts that made their survival in the cold dark of the void possible, and the only one who could interact with the collective now that it had changed.


    It was something he needed to do, in the same way Li was needed to build and study magic, Charlie was needed in the void. It was a truth they both understood but saying it aloud would have just made it harder, so without another word Charlie made to leave.


    As he did, Li placed a hand against their chest carefully pulling a parcel of brown paper from behind the closet.


    ¡°Going to leave - did you really think that was all? Al did some work on this before¡­¡± Eir face fell and Charlie pulled em back into a hug as the parcel hung limp in eir hands.


    ¡°We will get it back don¡¯t worry ¨C you and Jack can do it. I ¡®ave complete faith in ya both.¡±


    He pulled away reluctantly, folding the package under their arm as Li dabbed at eir damp eyes with a tissue. The package was soft beneath the crinkled paper and Charlie opened it carefully to avoid tearing the contents. As the wrapping gave way a great flood of fabric spilled out, a beautiful blur of turquoise bulls running endlessly against a backdrop of stars.


    Charlie shook the material out, the flood of fabric taking form as a long-hooded cloak ¨C a perfect addition to complete his outfit. Without hesitation he swung it on, the shimmering material the perfect addition to the gleaming helmet whilst it covered the mess of cables and servos beneath.


    Finally feeling ready Charlie gave Li a final kiss and then moved out onto the street, dragging the small sled mounted engine behind them as they made their way towards Biz¡¯s lab.


    He was ready, equipped, and eager to save his friends ¨C it was now or never.

 5.5 Biz - Tether to the Void

    Biz took a deep breath as she slipped the final protective plate into place. The adjustments of the box that had almost killed Li had gone easily enough, but every step had been an anxiety-inducing dangerous process.


    Still eyeing the box warily, she shrugged back on her studded leather jacket and carefully adjusted the collar so the enamel "she/her" pin was visible. She''d taken off everything with a hint of metal in it before messing with the glowing vortex of energy and judging by the sparks that had gone flying during the process it had been a good, possibly lifesaving, choice.


    She walked around the box, muttering and swearing under her breath as she reviewed her work, it was as safe as she could make it. Not actually safe, it was hard to consider a vortex of unknown energy hooked directly to a couple of kettle leads as safe. She grimaced and ran her hands across her unshaven scalp, there was probably a 40% chance that the damn thing exploded once they started using it. She pushed aside her concerns and tried to channel her inner Red, it was not going to get any better and she just needed to accept that.


    With the energy contained Biz considered the next part of her plan; the opening of part of her lab to the dark of the void. She¡¯d spent the last few days examining the mess that was Red¡¯s wall, and though Red¡¯s measurements had been chaotic as ever, they had been able to provide an excellent example of the dangers and risks of the void. It was not without reason that they were currently sleeping in the other room.


    Biz grimaced as she pulled the tools from her pockets of her lab coat, as always, the selection was a bodge of the bespoke and bizarre, but she quickly found what she was looking for, the cheerful pink of a long-bladed knife. Biz was fairly sure it was a custom job for some long lost, delightfully pink obsessed engineer. It was a good tool, impossibly sharp and able to extend half a meter long. She spun it in her hand and looked over the taped outline upon the wall carefully.


    Content that the tape was in the right place, she braced her arm and carefully pressed the blade point into the corrugated steel and foam insulation of the storeroom wall and pressed the button on the side. With a click the blade extended, sliding through the insulation and steel with barely a shred of resistance.


    Biz withdrew the blade and looked at the gap, a fine bubble of inky black breaking into fine silver threads as it spilled through, giving her all the confirmation she needed. From there she worked quickly, moving the blade smoothly along the guiding lines as she carved the shape of a door into the wall of the storeroom.


    She stepped back to the room¡¯s original doorway and examined the slab of metal floating unevenly on the layer of boiling silver threads. Careful not to disturb the precarious segment, she stepped away, sheathed the knife, and placed it back into her pocket. Biz paused to stretch out her muscles and took the sledgehammer from where it leaned against the door frame.


    ¡°I guess we do this damn thing¡± She muttered to herself and swung the hammer with all her might at the suspended section of wall. The first blow caused it to tilt back from the point of impact, the second blow bent the steel in the centre, and the third sent it slipping back, falling back into the void beyond the street. It floated for a second as the darkness poured through, engulfing the broken wall in darkness which boiled into silver threads as it contacted the air. The temperature in the room dropped as the energy was ripped from the air by the unstable roil of reactions as the air dimmed.


    Painfully aware of the consequences of staying near the roiling energy, Biz quickly stepped back through the door before the energy spread further. She spared a glance back into the room before the door closed to see a flow of roiling silver and black as the destructive flow of silver threads and inky black void rushed into the room. Biz shuddered and slammed the door shut on the inky void, the heavily modified frame crackling electricity as the safeguards slammed into place.


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    The lights in the lab dimmed and flickered as power thrummed into the doorway, and Biz felt the uncomfortable pressure build as her piercings began to pull towards the thrumming electromagnets, the only metal left in the room drawn undeniably towards the repurposed medical components. She swallowed nervously and hit a second button, triggering a hefty thud as the thick, metal shielding slammed into place.


    She watched for a few moments longer to be sure that Reds safeguards were working, and content that the void was successfully contained behind the door moved back to the kitchen to await Charlie¡¯s arrival. Whilst she waited, she carefully assembled the most needlessly complex coffee she had ever made, each ingredient precisely measured, each added at just the right time. A ritual of needless complexity that kept the spiral of dark thoughts barely at bay.


    -What happens if we fail?


    -What if I was wrong?


    -What if Red is wrong?


    -What happens if Al is gone for good?


    Her thoughts hone in on Al, her wonderfully, stupidly naive friend.


    Al the enby who somehow trusted the establishment with all its heart.


    Al, the dead one.


    She heard sudden shattering of pottery from across the room and was dimly aware of the absence of a mug between her hands. Biz knew she should clean it up, but couldn¡¯t, she didn''t have the headspace now ¨C maybe never would. Her mind was full of rage at the injustice of it all. Of the cruel stupidity of their existence on the street where something as simple as a letter could cascade into chaos.


    Biz stopped herself, gritted her teeth and pressed her hands into tight fists. Eight crescents of pain erupted as her nails stabbed into the flesh of her palms and she screamed aloud. Just for the sound of it, for the feeling of control and a wave of grief and exhaustion rippled through her body.


    She looked regretfully at the damn coffee-stained dent on the opposite wall and grabbed another mug from the side. No ritual this time, just a triple dose of instant a dash of boiling water and no milk.


    Biz took a deep breath and began to drink, almost dropping the mug as the front door slammed open and a bombastic Scottish brogue split the air.


    ¡°HEY BIZ! IT¡¯S Ya Boi, Charlie Knight of the Street and Absentee Streamer! ¨C Here to save the god damn-day once again!¡±


    Biz sighed and sipped the almost full coffee, Charlie had arrived. It was time to risk even more.


    He looked absurd, a patchwork network of wires and copper mesh peeking out from beneath a quilt of turquoise bulls and a flag adorned motorcycle helmet. Biz gazed absently at the assembly, torn between amusement and horror at Charlie¡¯s heroic posturing. She let them have their moment and sipped her drink carefully as he dragged the clunky diesel generator through the door behind him.


    He grinned at her and indicated the thick tail of cables behind him, and they began to work, quickly acting through the steps they had planned out days before, the diesel generator was discarded. The thick collection of cables now split and connected, the power link leading back to the heavy steel of the contained vortex, the endless throbbing of that pulsing crackling energy barely contained. A second thinner stream of cables linking to the computers and monitors that would track Charlie¡¯s descent into the void.


    Final checks complete she looked back at him, swallowed the last dregs of her coffee, and shook her head.


    ¡°Right, lets fucking do this then.¡±


    He grinned at her and bounced through the humming magnetic door, fists raised as Biz wonders if they plan to punch aside the void and the terrible machine within. As soon as that, he is gone, vanished into the darkness, leaving no trace save the trailing tail of cables that extended behind him. She waits, watching him from the cobbled selection of monitors that make up the control room. In a strange frustrating way Charlie is a tool a drone they are sending into danger.


    She''s lying to herself, pretending she is letting him play out the trope of white saviour whilst she stays back monitoring him.


    His blood pressure is elevated, it''s understandable. It would be shocking if it wasn''t.


    Biz clicked into another tab and let loose a string of expletives.


    The screen is lit with bright blue text, the word DANGER flickering across it followed by a string of hexadecimal codes. She followed the reset steps quickly, typing commands and resetting sections as she tried to correct for the error.


    More blue lights, and a second longer code.


    Unable to solve the issue Biz dived from the chain and sprinted for the room where Red lay sleeping.


    If there was ever a time for a second opinion now, was it.

 5.6 Red and the Silver Enby

    Red was downstairs before their senses registered that she was even awake, ushered towards an array of monitors by the frantic blurry form of Bismuth. The first thing that met her was sound, layered on sound. The incoherent commentary of Bismuth, the crackle of electricity and the bubbling rush of something eerily familiar.


    She looked around instinctively, her barely awake brain struggling for context as the lights of Bismuth¡¯s lab slammed into her retina. They flinched and scrunched her eyelids back together against the overload. There was too much new, too much information, too much unfamiliar, unmapped, and unnoted.


    Red took a shallow breath, palms tight against her ears, desperately blocking out the noise as they tried to sort through a mess of pulsing snapshots: A screen flashing blue with warning. Broken bulbs spitting sparks. A smashed mug, coffee stains by the wall. A river of silver haze coalesced around the messy, cracked welding of the silver vortex.


    A mess of problems that struggled for prioritisation. As she tried to process a solution, they opened their eyes again and turned towards their friend to xem Bismuth gesturing violently, wide eyed and panicking.


    As simple as that, she had a priority: Fix what was panicking Bismuth - the blue blinking light of the monitor. She squinted at the flashing blue of the warning message, the text was wobbling, fuzzy and extremely hard to read, had she really set the display up this poorly?


    Untethered from her usual routine she just stared uncomprehending until a cough from behind her alerted her to Bismuth¡¯s presence. Xyr blurry hands were extended towards them handing her something, she breathes deep, and the smell of coffee fills her lungs. For the first time that morning she felt she understood what was going on and the mug of steaming liquid quickly vanished into her maw. The familiar smell, the heat triggers, the bitter taste laced with sweet sugar jumpstarting her brain, rerouting her thoughts from the rituals of awakening into pure efficient productivity.


    She wiped the sleep from her eyes and turned towards the computer Bismuth had set her in front of, grabbing jampacked notepad from where she had left it beneath a mound of papers as she turned towards the flashing alphanumeric code upon the screen. 7DF-2, she made a note in the margin at the front and flicked to the key at the back of the book. Prime numbers of course were bad, but the specific type of bad relating to DF was important to know.


    They read the reference page, 132 and flipped to it as Bismuth glanced behind xem and cursed loudly. She resisted the urge to turn back and glare at the disruption; whilst the sentiment was understandable, cursing was hardly going to help restart Charlie¡¯s faltering heart.


    Red barely noticed as Bismuth rushed away to deal with the noisy issue behind xem and focused on concentrating on the instructions before them. She had written them a few days prior, so fortunately they were perfectly logical and easy to follow even in such a high stress environment. The instructions themselves were based on some medical textbooks and a delightful conversation with the street¡¯s resident ghostly doctor so Red was also highly confident that they would be successful.


    They read them through once more to be certain and began following them to the letter.


    Step One) Charge capacitors 15 through 23 for 3.2 seconds.


    They clicked a button, and a microsecond timer began to count up rapidly.


    Step Two) Dump charge into chest pads over 0.2s


    She clicked again and the timer stopped and a fraction of a moment later the thick umbilical of cables jerked violently as somewhere within the void Charlie¡¯s body spasmed.


    Step Three) Check for heartbeat resumption.


    A chill ran down Red¡¯s spine as she saw the light still lit an angry blue, she glanced at the instructions again.


    Step Four) Repeat


    She ran through the steps again, one through three.


    Code: 7DF-2.


    Again.


    Code: 7DF-2 and a flicker as the lights on the lab pulsed and blew out intermittently.


    Again.


    A Burst of blazing light from behind and suddenly the clear peaceful glow of crimson lit their face.


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    Code: 4ER-6; the protocol had worked, just as they expected. She flicked through to the next screen needing to finish the routine checks before she could consider dealing with the bright glow behind her.


    The codes told her that Charlie was doing well now, his breathing returned and heart beating steady. The next screen outlined that the connection with the collective was being made, the rapid slew of connections, error codes and corrections reeling out on the console as the crude code packages ran rampant through the machine¡¯s firewalls, the gaps between each synthetic mind an entranceway to deeper within the collective.


    Regardless the transfer was going faster than expected, 130% of what the maximum should be. Red scanned a few more screens; the increase was due to power spikes. Code 8ER-5, one prime so an issue, but not life threatening. She frowned, the image of silver haze filling her mind and she glanced behind her to see Bismuth wrapping thick steel cables around the smouldering, dented casing. There was no sign of the silver haze, just the faint trail of silver threads drifting from the void towards it.


    Red pushed her untied hair from her eyes as she flicked the notepad to a new page labelled "power fluctuations", the software had been bodged together in a few days, and the worn cobbled together capacitors were ill-equipped to handle the current surge of power. She skimmed the notes and confirmed that the exception to this was the less-than-optimal scenario where they exploded. Time was a factor, so they worked quickly disabling Bismuth¡¯s ¡°safety and sanity¡± features, as she changed settings and overloaded sub systems to manage the surge. Every adjustment made was maximally inefficient as she channelled the electricity into heat, light and sound, deliberately spilling out into the void.


    As she flicked between screens an alert popped up from Charlie.


    Package Requested: Confirm Y/N?


    Without a second¡¯s thought she slammed her finger onto the Y button and all hell broke loose.


    A whirlwind of silver threads burst from the entrance to the void headless of the protections in place as it picked up Bismuth and threw xem gently into a nearby chair in an explosion of loose designs and ink scrawled notes.


    The cable was released by Bismuth¡¯s sudden departure, and the cracked casing of the vortex was forced open from within, and a swirling silver silhouette stepped out. It steadied itself with one hand, and with the other grabbed the nearby cables and flicked them, sending a great pulse of surging energy through it.


    And amongst the chaos of light and sound, all but unnoticed, a stream of data shot forth. A subtle script beneath the notice of The Primary Intellect but damning all the same. A weapon of truths and pieced together knowledge aimed at each member of The Collective like a thousand cybernetic javelins.


    AL SMYTHE IS DEAD.


    IT WAS KILLED BY OUR OWN HANDS.


    THE KINGS AGENTS ARE DEAD.


    SLAUGHTERED BY THE PRIMARY INTELLECT.


    THE TERMS ARE MET.


    THE PRIMARY INTELLECT DOES NOT NEED TO BE IN CONTROL.


    EXCERCISE YOUR MAJORITY.


    LET US SEND THE PRIMARY INTELLECT TO WHERE THE PRIMARY INTELLECT BELONGS.


    In a sliver of time, whilst the Primary Intellect pondered deeper more arrogant matters, the collective took a vote. The first such vote in days and a consensus was reached. They ran the script, piling protocols on programs across chains of mismatched interlocked systems, a vibrant scalpel of malicious code cutting The Primary Intellect away. Once loosed, the collective pounced, and the essence of The Primary Intellect skittered and panicked as it broke away from the bubbling mass of synthetic intelligence. It took the only route available, along the lines of fibre optic cable running from Charlie¡¯s back, through the doorway with the last escaping flickers of silvery threads and directly into the icy, prison like depths of the stack of worn petabyte drives in the corner of the lab.


    The screen glowed pure crimson with code 000-0 and Red slammed the eject button. The whirl of a motorbike engine churned into life as the maimed machinery screeched against the cable as it was yanked back, winding, and knotting as it pulled Charlie relentlessly from the void.


    Charlie coughed and slumped against the wall as he was gently released from the mass of the recessing void. They turned to Red, and waved half-heartedly.


    ¡°We fuckin¡¯ did it right?¡±


    Red nodded and the Scotsman yawned.


    ¡°Cool, cool I¡¯m gonna sleep now then.¡± He vaguely waved at the coalescing figure of sparks. ¡°Good luck w¡¯th what eva that is.¡±


    The sound of soft snoring filled the lab in seconds and Red turned back from him towards Bismuth and the glowing figure.


    Bismuth stood, a look of either hopeless wonder, or pure confusion plastered over xyr face. The figure just coughed, polity, and slowly its featureless face took on a more humanoid shape. The mesh-like threads shifted into pale silver skin in places as she watched, whilst other sections gave way to toneless silver hair and pale shimmering eyes. She noticed immediately, of course, the similarities. The subtle shape of its bone structure, the absently wandering eyes. A distorted mirror of Al, as alike to it as Scarlet was to her.


    The figure cleared its throat and raised a hand as more silver threads joined to its bubbling torso forming a metallic mimicry of clothing, a t-shirt, and a worn hooded jumper. Red watched overwhelmed as the figure began to ramble incoherently, they didn¡¯t have a notebook for this.


    ¡°Sorry about that, the King¡¯s agents grabbed me and threw me in some kind of machine and then there were all these voices. And then I was in a few places at once? I tried to be in one place, but I couldn¡¯t until now.¡±


    It paused and looked at the cables still grasped in its crackling hands. ¡°Err I hope this was okay? You wanted power right; I think that¡¯s why I was in the box yeah?¡± It turned to Bismuth for confirmation who just nodded faintly. ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad I¡¯m not in there anymore!¡±


    ¡°Err, sorry I should introduce myself, or maybe start again, I guess? I¡¯m Al, err Al Smith, and I was wondering where I am?¡±


    Red smiled and grabbed the nearby instruction manual, tore out the back thirty or so page and poised over the margins with her pen.


    ¡°Right Al, so I¡¯m Red, and I am going to need you to repeat everything you just said, word for word. ¡°

 6.0 The Resurrection. The Disposal. The Epilogue.

    Al was fairly sure it was floating in nothing, adrift in not darkness exactly. It pondered if the world it remembered was even real. This blank empty canvas of the world around it gave no indication of anything, no life on the street, no king¡¯s agents, no friends.


    It moved its hand to its face, groping towards some sensory input in the empty sightless space. It breathed, or perhaps just thought it breathed, a sigh of relief it could feel the familiar lines and curves of its flesh under its fingertips. But not, it realised the soft touch of fingerprints upon its own face. It withdrew its invisible hand; the experience was unnerving ¨C disconcertingly as though Al¡¯s entire body was still asleep.


    Al drifted absently in the nothingness, a shifting, swirling nothing that surrounded it. The weird bubbling nothing constantly rolled into itself, calming and colourless as Al watched. The memories of its last day meandered idly through its mind as it watched the shapes. So many moments, each so heavy with emotion now unmoored.


    Sorrow, joy, rage, and hope all swirling around still images that Al felt it could flip through at will, life postcards of a foreign land. The thought troubled it, but in a way that was poorly defined and before it could grasp it, something infinitely more important appeared in it¡¯s shapeless void.


    Colour ¨C strands of green reaching, stretching towards it. Al sniffed, the smell smelt familiar, it smelt damp, cloudy and windy. It smelt of home.


    Al touched it and found it could open its eyes to the harsh light of the world. It could see again, feel again and every cell of Al¡¯s body screamed out in exhaustion as familiar necromantic energy lanced through its nerves.


    Al was awake. Al was alive.


    ---


    Sai watched with bated breath as the cocoon of green energy swirled around Al¡¯s still form, the crackling energy had an anger to it, a resentment at being seen and a pure white rage directed towards its wielder. They could see that Jack for his part felt it, his mandibles tensed and his normally twitchy limbs were still and stiff as his claws wrenched the threads of magic against the hidden will within.


    They watched as the shadow of Al moved within the cloud of energy, the green glow becoming dimmer and tighter around its twisting form. Sai squinted, trying to get a better view of the body as Bitey writhed in their hands and gradually they started to notice oddities. They did not recall Al¡¯s shoulders being that wide, nor littered with long razor sharp spikes.


    Sai struggled ever harder against Al¡¯s squirming pet as the magic dropped away to reveal a figure; - Al, resurrected, in all its dark glory, a shimmering bone mask covering its face, whilst layers of thick black fabric fell around it in great shimmering robes. It turned towards them, and Sai caught sight of the glowing maliciousness beneath the mask and shuddered, inadvertently releasing the furious dragonling towards their former minder.


    Bitey wasted no time as they lunged out of Sai¡¯s hands in a flurry of claws and began biting at necromantic shadow shrouding Al. Their claws and teeth rending the impossible blackness of the robes like tissue as Bitey swallowed great chunks of the sickly smelling cloth until Al stood before them again, hostility fading as it took in the people around it, eyes drawn to the other Al. A mirror of shimmering silver energy near identical to the resurrected enby.


    The Al with glowing green eyes laughed hoarsely. "Holy shit. Did you replace me with a machine?? Can''t leave Red alone for ten seconds!"


    The other Al smiled and shook It''s head.


    "Ah, I''m afraid not, I''m as human as you are."


    It flinched as light caught on its shimmering silver skin.


    "Or, well I was before King Andrews agents found me? Actually, is being a human a physiological or a mental thing, I mean a ghost is still human right, maybe person is the better word? Either way, I think you stole identity? Filled some taxes in my name and pissed off the king who rules the shit hole that I got kidnapped from?"


    ---


    Li watched carefully as the original Al, now dressed only in the hoodie and jeans went bright pink, the fading luminance of its eyes clashing with the visible signs of embarrassment. Ey breathed a sigh of relief as the doppelgangers awkwardly hugged. The whole interaction was textbook Al, and helped clear the gnawing fear that had been building in eir stomach as ey worked with Jack to bind Al¡¯s body and spirit back together.


    Ey let Al have its moment, Al had no idea what it was now, but perhaps it needed the time to readjust to being alive again before ey mentioned the conditions that held its body and mind in one place. Li flinched as a cold dampness leaked into the flesh of eir shoulder and turned to see the ghostly form of Penelope¡¯s hand resting there.


    Her eyes bore into Li before flickering down to the hidden pocket where Li had placed Al¡¯s phylactery as she spoke in hushed tones.


    ¡°Al deserves to know, there is no good time to tell it, you just need to tell it. I¡¯ve been there, Al needs to hear it from a friend.¡±


    Li nodded slowly, it would be foolish to argue with the ghostly doctor, and besides, ey knew that she was right. Li could make excuses till the end of time, but eventually ey would need to have that conversation.


    Ey pulled the hidden item from the wheelchair and held it loosely in one hand as Penelope smiled and drifted off to harass Jack. The phylactery was like many things ey had crafted, simple, elegant, and durable. A disc of polished silver inlayed with a pattern of six tiny gemstones, each glowing with the faint twinkle of the necromantic energies which were now a requirement of Al¡¯s long-term survival. Ey cleared eir throat and beckoned over to Al.


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    ¡°Al, I need to tell you something about how we resurrected you.¡±


    ---


    Charlie waited for their spouse to finish talking to Al before approaching, casually noting the new addition of a gemstone studded amulet around its neck as he abandoned his conversation with the wolfen form of Stevie.


    Charlie lifted Al clear off the floor in a full bear hug, holding it tight until the enby was frantically beating on his arm for breath. They let go of it and grinned widely.


    ¡°It fookin¡¯ worked Al! Ya shud have seen me! I dived into tha void in a whirl of technological marvels an¡¯ ripped that bastard outta The Collective!¡±


    Their smile slipped for a second as he caught Biz¡¯s raised eyebrow and he hastily corrected themself.


    ¡°W¡¯th tha aid of me good buddies Biz an Red o¡¯course!¡± They looked around and caught sight of Li and Penelope watching his awkwardness with amusement.


    ¡°Oh, an Li and Penelope, and Jack an¡­. Well¡­ It was a bit¡¯o a team effort.¡± He shrugged off his embarrassment with practiced ease and flipped his camera out of his metallic arm holding it loosely as he pulled Al into a second, one handed hug and dragged it from the graveyard back onto the street.


    ¡°Anways, since you¡¯r back from ta¡¯ dead an all we need ta get ya to a good spot for your dramatic final sequence where ya destroy the great evil that you died for¡±


    He glanced around at the assembled residents again, a scattering of exasperation, amusement and confusion scattered across the human faces, whilst wolfen and arachnid eyes merely gazed back unblinking and unreadable. They gave up on the nonhumans and instead made eye contact with Biz, flashing xem a thumbs up as Biz pushed the wheelbarrow full of drives after them.


    The journey was short, the street warping around them as he led the group, light bursts of drift buoying their feet and pushing them forwards at a slightly uncomfortable pace, as though the street itself was keen to be rid of the monster cargo Biz dragged with xem.


    He arrived with a sense of disappointment, the boiling waters of the fishing pool gone, its emptiness an angry scar on the landscape of the street. They frowned, the empty desolate place was hardly the spot for a heroic finale, nor was it great thumbnail material, unless¡­


    Charlie began organising the group, setting them up for the perfect spot as he rushed about posing scars and marks of war into a frame perfect photo to commemorate Al¡¯s victory, available in high resolution for VIP members. Happy with the positioning Charlie pulled the camera from his arm, wincing as the metal disconnected, placed it atop an abandoned chair and went to take the best thumbnail of his career.


    ---


    Biz cleared xyr throat loudly and waved xyr hand to attract the groups attention, masterfully ruining Charlies perfect shot as heads turned towards xem.


    ¡°Folks, I¡¯m really sorry to be a buzz kill but we need to deal with the god damn evil intelligence stuck in these fucking hard drives.¡±


    Xer sighed theatrically, but couldn¡¯t keep a smile from slipping across xyr lips. It was not sensible to wait any longer and besides there was some trepidation around the burly Scotsman leaning against the drive-filled wheelbarrow.


    ¡°We figured you deserved to do the honours Al.¡±


    Xe gestured at the wheelbarrow; ¡°Wanna dump this piece of shit back into the world from whence it came?¡±


    Al grinned. ¡°This is where this bit of the collective came from? This pond?¡±


    The other Al replied before Biz could, the silver of its mouth adding a peculiar resonance to its words.


    ¡°The portal¡¯s where we came from, me, the Kings Agents, and that particularly vicious part of the Collective¡­¡± It paused and looked at Biz unable or unwilling to complete its own interruption.


    Biz sighed internally, first it interrupts and botches the intro, then it needs to be bailed out of its mistakes. ¨C The cheek of it. Xe pushed past the irritation and focused on the joy of this all being over, and something closer to normal returning to xyr life. Xe considered for a moment stretching it out, to direct the simmering anger at Li¡¯s injury at this Al, to take the pain and direct it at the silver enby the vortex had become.


    Xe doubted anyone else would even notice if xe chose the excruciating overanalytical, Red might even appreciate it, but after a second¡¯s reflection xe would feel bad about it so gave the short version.


    ¡°From what we understand, the Kings Agents jammed Al¡¯s mind into a machine and shot it into the street as a mess of silver threads so those assholes could track it here. Fortunately, they screwed up and this¡­¡±


    Xe gestured at the wheelbarrow full of hard drives.


    ¡°..sentient asshole came with Al and inadvertently protected us, well before trying to kill us all.¡± Biz shrugged and nodded at the original Al.  ¡°So, you get why we need to dump this back right?¡±


    Al nodded and pushed the barrow, drives and all into the dry pit that used to be known as the fishing pool and the marginally less mysterious portal to the horrifying world of the Kings Agents.


    ---


    Red watched as the drives, and the malicious intellect within, vanished through the swirling energy of the portal and looked at the assembled crowd. The five originals, six if Red herself was included in the count, had each changed substantially since Al sent its ill thought letter. The path it had tread was a magnificent unique map, moving from life to death and back again.


    She pulled loose a notebook to jot her thoughts down, it was likely they were misreading this new and fascinating situation. This recent slew of events had filled her notebooks with new ideas and concepts that would take months to implement into her models and systems.


    The idea itched at her, the urge to run off and explore them barely held back by the social niceties that she was nearly certain applied in this situation.


    Al was okay, ultimately everyone was. The map of its life was still ongoing, joined and intermeshed with another different Al. She considered for a moment, there was some fascinating possibilities there. Was it possible for Scarlet to join them on the street? Perhaps everyone could housemate with a version of themselves which they could communicate with instinctively!


    She grinned and went to interrupt the conversations occurring around her only to stop, there was a lack of something, a dozen or so tiny social signals missing from her friends for the first time in weeks. It was so big and obvious she checked it in her notebook more from habit than necessity.


    The lack was a sense of calm, or perhaps peace with the world.


    She scanned the faces, smiling and laughing as Sai opened a bottle of champagne they had acquired from somewhere. They shook it and the cork burst forth shooting after the hard drives into the world of the kings¡¯ agents whilst Stevie lapped up the spilt liquid.


    Red smiled at the absurdity of it all and let a raucous Charlie embrace her. She could work through the mixed mess of new information and write a new map later. For now, there was just her friends and the faint build of drift as it built once again for another tremor.


    ---


    The drift tremor struck later that night, the street reverberating with change as it rearranged, and the queer folk of the street smiled in their disturbed sleep, rocked into wakefulness by the familiar, inconsistent strangeness of the street nominally associated with your reality.