《The Hermes Project》 The World, At First Distantly, he could hear music. His vision was fractur //e f //ractured. Thin, spiderweb lines cracked out from every corner of a slowly spinning world. It was hard to look beyond the shattered field. tte //red. / field. // Everything was tinted in red. In // /I/ //n red. The music continued to play. He knew this song.
He shouldn¡¯t exist. That was the mantra of the Anti-I movement. He shouldn¡¯t exist: the words of an angry few; a vicious, racist minority loudly opposed against the unification of the different Milky Way races. The union between Earthlings, Tarotans, Medese, and Vn was sin¡ªit defied logic¡ªit eroded traditional values¡ªit spat in the face of the safe separation of planets. And this union of races certainly shouldn¡¯t have been allowed to create a man; a being born from the combined efforts of the intelligent life in our cosmos. Perhaps the most poetic part of his existence was this: these racist sentiments were prevalent among all of the cultures represented, and in that way, the different planets were more aligned than ever before. ¡°State your age according to Earth calendars.¡± ¡°One hundred years, one month, and six days.¡± ¡°Very good. Sit up, if you can.¡± Hermes opened his eyes, sat up, and found himself existing¡ªphysically¡ªfor the first time. In a room. In space. He stared down at his hands¡ªlong, slender humanoid fingers wrapped in smooth blue skin¡ªand marveled at the fingerprints, the wrinkles, and his short, square nails. ¡°How do you feel?¡± ¡°I do not know,¡± Hermes replied honestly. ¡°I have never felt before.¡± A few hundred years after taking to the stars, Earthlings found themselves among many new alien races¡ªand new, astonishing technology. When the humanoid races of Tarot, Dromeda, and Vn created an alliance with the humans of Earth¡ªtheir knowledge allowed them to do something very special: they created an AI with the specific purpose of crossing Earthling knowledge with the wisdom found in the stars. For a hundred years, he was simply a computerized voice and ever-involving intelligence that parsed together the different languages, cultures, facts, and fiction found in their galaxy. His name was Hermes. It was a pleasant coincidence, the name. Hermes was a Greek myth on earth¡ªthe god of travelers¡ªbut the word Herme existed in the Tarotan language as ¡°friend¡± and the term ¡°mes¡± was an honorific the Medese added to the end of titles to signify someone of great importance. (The Vn were able to pronounce the name easily enough, which was good enough for them.) The combined effort of his creation was the hallmark of an extended period of peace. For humans, Hermes gave them a great opportunity to build a database of knowledge to be shared for all time. For Tarotans, Hermes was their chance to connect to the outsiders that fascinated their scholars. For the Medese, Hermes represented an investment in medical advancements in the future. For the Vn, Hermes was a step towards righting the wrongs they committed in the wars before his creation. For the Amenon¡ªwho weren¡¯t involved in his making, as they were nearly extinct¡ªHermes was perhaps a signal that their race wouldn¡¯t be lost forever. His fully organic, adult form was created from nothing; perhaps Amenon could be rebuilt in some similar fashion. ¡°Does anything hurt?¡± Hermes looked into the face of the doctor at his side. She was a white-haired Tarotan woman with sandy brown skin and wide-set black eyes and a friendly grin. He scanned his form carefully, brows scrunched in thought. ¡°I do not think I am injured.¡± The woman nodded and wrote something onto the digipad propped against her hip. ¡°Perfect.¡± ¡°I suppose this means it worked.¡± ¡°That it did. Welcome to personhood, Hermes.¡± ¡°That is¡­good.¡± The doctor¡¯s laugh twinkled across Hermes¡¯ senses in a way that was unexpectedly pleasant. Laughter had often been considered contagious; it appeared that much was based in fact. ¡°It sure is. I¡¯m Doctor Wha, by the way.¡± ¡°Qhathiren Wha.¡± She nodded, eyes widening enthusiastically. ¡°That¡¯s right. Oh, perfect. Your memory¡¯s working nicely.¡± Dr. Wha worked on the Hermes program for the last decade and was one of the figureheads responsible for the creation of his new physical form. ¡°My knowledge appears to be intact, yes,¡± Hermes said, scanning his mind. He was filled with one hundred years of scholarly expedition¡ªnot necessarily experience, but there were facts and numbers and names and coordinates inside of him. He pulled at them curiously until a light blinked into his vision. He winced. Dr. Wha clicked off the flashlight she held. ¡°Sorry, sorry. Checking the development of your corneas. They¡¯re Tarotan in design, with a few Vn adjustments; you should have better vision than anyone else in the tower.¡± Tartoan eyes. Human extremities. A Medese olfactory system. Vn strength. ¡°You look perfect,¡± Dr. Wha said, stepping back. Hermes blinked. She huffed out a breath. ¡°I meant physically¡ªeverything¡¯s operational. Your senses seem to be working well. But, yeah, you¡¯re also¡ª¡± she reached out, patted Hermes upon his broad, naked collarbone, and giggled girlishly. ¡°You¡¯re very handsome. Tsa really outdid himself in your design.¡± Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. He didn¡¯t know how to reply. ¡°I¡¯m going to invite the other fellows in. Okay?¡± Hermes nodded. She made another noise¡ªa sound of joy, Hermes decided¡ªas she stepped outside the door at the end of the small room. He took a moment to observe his surroundings. He hadn¡¯t been able to see anything before now¡ªwithout vision, his knowledge of the world existed almost theoretically. It was akin to going from a two-dimensional space into three. Or perhaps it was exactly going from two-dimensional space into three. Whatever it was, it was different. Colors made up so much of everything around him. He hadn¡¯t realized how significant, prevalent¡ªall encompassing¡ªcolors were. The room was gray, but because colors were everything, the shades of blue and pink and green and white filled the air around him. His hands reached out, fingers outstretched. He wanted to touch the silver in the air, but¡ªthat wasn¡¯t really how it worked. Instead his hand redirected and he stroked the gray blanket strung across his lap. It was soft, fuzzy. He ran his hand down, until he hit the buoyant surface of the mattress¡ªit sprung back curiously. He squished it. It bounced in response. Feeling things wasn¡¯t anything like he anticipated, either. It did something to him on a level beyond his skin. The way in which the mattress below him responded to his touch made him feel¡ªfeel // he could fe // feel. He could hear the twinkle of a few musical notes; a song starting from several rooms away. It seemed familiar fam //iliar. In the next moment, the door opened to the room, and all of the scientists responsible for his creation stepped in, one after another. Dr. Qhathiren Wha of Tarot. Dr. Alexander Holt of Earth. Senior Yalan of Dromeda. Tsa Wen Bata of Vn. Each was introduced with respectful bows, which Hermes returned by tilting his head down marginally. And then¡ªanother human. He was wearing a uniform, not the standard scrubs of the rest, and he had a level, peaceful smile across his square face. ¡°This is Captain Adam Shear of the Stellarship Soter,¡± Dr. Wha said, gesturing. Captain Shear held out his hand¡ªhe was the only one to do so. Senior Yalan and Dr. Wha both chuckled. Shear shot them both a look, eyes narrowed, and the three seemed to share some silent understanding Hermes wasn¡¯t quite familiar with. He took Shear¡¯s hand and shook it, impressed at how strong his grip seemed to be¡ªconsidering how small he was. His hand was dwarfed entirely by Hermes¡¯. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Hermes.¡± ¡°It is nice to meet you, Captain,¡± said Hermes. ¡°He¡¯s a friend to the project,¡± Dr. Wha said. ¡°He¡¯s dating Qhat,¡± Yalan said. Shear cleared his throat. ¡°I have a background in exobiology. Long before I manned a ship. I¡¯m here to lend a hand, uh, politically.¡± ¡°He was just excited to meet you,¡± Dr. Wha added. Shear smiled, teeth glowing and straight. ¡°That too.¡± As Shear stepped back in line with the group, Hermes realized then that Captain Shear¡¯s small hand wasn¡¯t actually small¡ªHermes, himself, was rather large. Bigger than everyone in the group. Shear was the second largest, standing almost a half-head taller than the next man¡ªTsa Wen Bata. Hermes looked down at his hand again. Captain Shear was six feet, seven inches. Tsa Wen Bata was six feet, two inches. Dr. Wha was the shortest¡ªfive feet, one inch. Hermes must have been seven feet tall, then. But¡ªthat meant nothing in theory. In practice¡ªhe looked down at his feet, hidden beneath the gray blanket he wore. If he shifted even an inch farther down on the bed¡ªhis feet would hang off. ¡°Interesting,¡± he said. ¡°What is it?¡± Hermes looked over the group, considering them. ¡°I don¡¯t fit in.¡± It wasn¡¯t just his gargantuan size¡ªthe only humanoids in the galaxy that were blue-skinned were the Amenon and odds were quite low he would meet one any time soon. (Exactly 1.2245 in 405,000,000.) Dr. Wha¡¯s smile glowed. ¡°That¡¯s the best part, I think.¡± ¡°The best part.¡± Hermes squinted in thought. ¡°You don¡¯t have to fit in.¡± He nodded, but didn¡¯t understand. From a few rooms away, through the walls, Hermes could still hear the twinkling notes of some vaguely familiar song. A smile tempted across his mouth. He knew this so // ng. Didn¡¯t he?
For his first birthday, Dr. Wha gave him a piano. Hermes slid his hand across the keys, careful not to press down. The white ivory was striking against the dark blue of his fingertips. The rest of the instrument was compact¡ªa sleek, molded black that looked very modern. ¡°It¡¯s an upright piano,¡± said Wha. ¡°It¡¯ll fit in your quarters on the ship.¡± Hermes nodded. ¡°I debated between a keyboard and this¡ªlike, I know logically that a keyboard would be the smart move. We¡¯re going to be traveling for a few years, so something easily moved makes sense, right? But the sound of real strings¡­¡± She sighed, eyes closing as she smiled. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful.¡± Hermes continued to nod. Wha tucked her hands behind her back and gave Hermes a once-over, black eyes sharp and analyzing. ¡°Do you like it?¡± He stopped nodding, hands paused at the slick rounded edge at the far right end of the keys. He tilted his head, considering his feelings beyond the satisfying cool touch and Wha¡¯s own charming grin. Did he like it? His thumb depressed the C key at the end, the sound ringing across the silence. ¡°Yes,¡± Hermes said, finally, a warmth growing in the space between his ribs. ¡°I like it very much.¡± Wha clapped. ¡°Remember that when we¡¯re busting our ass hauling this thing onto Soter later this week. It weighs, like, six hundred pounds.¡± Hermes and Dr. Wha were joining her fiance, Adam Shear, aboard the Stellarship Soter, a research vessel patrolling distant planets in their galaxy. Wha wanted to be near to the man she loved, Captain Shear. And Hermes, himself, was created with the express intention of learning everything he could about the stars. Remaining on Planet Earth would be a waste. Not that he wasn¡¯t grateful¡ªit was on Earth shores that he learned the very basics of existence for the last twelve months. For example: spicy food was delicious, summer was the worst season, and music was a fascinating pastime. Dr. Wha apparently paid very close attention to everything Hermes learned the last year and turned around to gift him with the most thoughtful present¡ªsomething he wasn¡¯t even aware he desired. A piano. Her words interrupted his warm thoughts. ¡°You mentioned that composing music seemed especially challenging. I figured this would help you figure it out, you know?¡± ¡°It is not challenging for me to write music,¡± Hermes clarified. ¡°It is challenging to compose emotive music.¡± ¡°Right, right.¡± ¡°This will help significantly. Thank you, Doctor.¡± Wha laughed and patted Hermes on his biceps. ¡°You¡¯re very welcome, kiddo.¡± He was one hundred and one years old and Wha was only forty-five, but he learned not to argue about her nicknames in the last year, too. She adjusted the silver jewelry adorning the brown horns protruding from the top of her head and checked her reflection in the floor-length mirror by Hermes¡¯ door. ¡°Okay. Let¡¯s go eat cake with the fellows. Everyone¡¯s going to want to wish you a happy birthday¡ªand they¡¯re going to want to wish us a bon voyage.¡± Hermes didn¡¯t quite smile, but¡ªalmost. He held out his elbow for her to take as they departed for the party starting in the conference room down the hall. ¡°Allons-y, docteur.¡± The song continued to play, wrapping around hi //im, a blanket of soft, comforting noise. He closed his eyes and the fractures disappeared. a //ppeared. Cameron Ollis Cam. C// ameron Ollis //. Cam //eron Cameron Ollis was the most beautiful person aboard the Stellarship Soter. Hermes watched him move gracefully through the white and chrome passageways of the ship, turning heads with every step. His hair was white blond, and his complexion was so pale that it nearly glowed, and he had silvery blue eyes that were always focused far off, like his thoughts were far away from the stretch of space in which Soter traveled. There was his compelling androgyny, too. Although Cam was quite tall, his hands and feet were proportionally small, and his square face was offset by round eyes, round lips, and a button of a nose. He smiled as he nearly ran into another member of the crew exiting the engineering bay and his accompanying laugh was so charming and loud that it had a rippling effect across the entire room. A dropped wrench, a bruised knee, a loud curse¡ªculminating in the chief engineer barking everyone back to work. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Chief,¡± Cam said, cheeks flushing red under all of the sudden attention. ¡°Here¡¯s the analysis you requested.¡± He offered a digital datapad, which the chief took with a quiet grunt. He read over some of the text on the screen and nodded a few times, obviously satisfied with the work. When Cam remained standing at his side, the chief shot him a glare. ¡°Dismissed, Ollis.¡± Cam nodded and smiled in a warm, familiar way. ¡°Thank you, sir.¡± The chief watched Cameron walk away, eyes magnetized to his backside. He wasn¡¯t the only one; of the five men and seven women of the engineering bay, 33.3% watched Cam leave with nothing less than obvious sexual interest. ¡°Is something wrong?¡± Hermes jolted upright in his chair. He¡¯d been watching the security screens while seated in the Medbay, watching Cam and the crew during their early-morning routine. Spying on Cam, truthfully, though he didn¡¯t intentionally set out to focus so solely on him. Hermes turned to Dr. Wha and cleared his throat. He pointed to the dozen small rectangular screens before him. ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°I was observing rounds.¡± ¡°What for?¡± ¡°Since our departure, I have yet to make a lasting connection with any of the crew. I was hoping, if I watched them interact, that I may uncover some intricacies of their companionship.¡± ¡°You¡¯re wanting to make friends.¡± Hermes hesitated before nodding once, sharply. Dr. Wha smiled. ¡°We¡¯ve only been in space for a week. You¡¯ll get there.¡± ¡°Many of the crewmen are fast friends already.¡± ¡°I guess I¡¯m not good enough for you anymore, huh?¡± He shook his head no, to defend his actions, but noted her grin. She was teasing him. She often enjoyed doing that¡ªher sarcasm extended to everything in her life, including Hermes. Her smile was wide, stretching her thin lips. Hermes looked back to the display panel, filled with various crystal-clear images of the ship¡¯s corridors and main facilities. ¡°I noticed that Cameron Ollis is especially popular and I wanted to learn why.¡± ¡°Ollis? I guess that makes sense.¡± ¡°Does it.¡± Wha laughed. ¡°Yes. He¡¯s a nice guy. A little ray of sunshine.¡± Her big grin softened into something almost affectionate. It wasn¡¯t a look Wha wore very often. At that moment, Hermes concluded there was only one person aboard Soter that was unaffected by Cam¡¯s obvious, universal beauty: Hermes himself. Wha continued, oblivious. ¡°Would you like to meet him? There¡¯s going to be that Data Analytics mixer this evening in the Caf. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll be attending; he¡¯s probably the most advanced mathematician aboard.¡± She tilted her hand back and forth, appearing thoughtful. ¡°Second to you, I mean.¡± Hermes considered it for a moment. ¡°I am not in their department.¡± Wha patted Hermes¡¯ shoulder. ¡°You should go. They¡¯ll be very welcoming, I promise.¡± Hermes nodded. She wasn¡¯t wrong; he could do math at great speeds, which was a vital part of the Data Analytics process. What¡¯s more: there was something very appealing in the idea of watching Cam interact with other people in person. Maybe his charm could translate better if Hermes witnessed it up close. ¡°Very well.¡±
The mixer made it all the more obvious that Cam was a highly coveted person. The Caf seemed centered on him. Anywhere he moved, all of the heads turned to follow. Moths to a flame, Hermes thought. It was an especially appropriate colloquialism: the way the other members of the crew followed Cam was almost mindless, and Cam himself greeted everyone with equal warmth. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. Hermes sipped the espresso dwarfed in his hand. ¡°Are you thinking of joining our team?¡± asked a young human woman at his side. Hermes blinked down at her and shook his head no. She tilted her head in question. ¡°Why not? We¡¯d love to have you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m working with Dr. Wha as an adjunct medical personnel.¡± ¡°Well, there you go¡ªyou just said it. Adjunct. You could defect. Come to the dark side.¡± She winked. Ah. She was being friendly. Hermes wasn¡¯t quite sure how to reply in kind; his thoughts jumped around, panicked, while his face remained perfectly blank¡ªshould he smile? Make a pop culture reference in return? What would Cam do? But he took too long and the woman faked an awkward laugh. ¡°I¡¯m kidding.¡± She took a step away. ¡°I¡¯m gonna go grab myself another drink. Nice to finally meet you, Hermes!¡± She waved as she left and she didn¡¯t seem particularly hurt by Hermes¡¯ lack of social graces, but he did sigh when she was out of sight. He was truly terrible at this. Forming friendships was a skill beyond his many abilities¡ªwhy had he even come? Cam¡¯s voice carried over the other conversations that filled the Caf. ¡°No one wants to hear me talk about my thesis.¡± A roaring of, ¡°Yes we do!¡± ¡°Please!¡± and ¡°I¡¯d love to hear more!¡± came from the crowd around Cam. Hermes peeked over to see him laugh in response. ¡°It¡¯s nothing you don¡¯t already know,¡± Cam said. Charmed laughter was the response. Hermes raised an eyebrow. It seemed that Cam could say almost anything and the people around him would laugh graciously and tell him he was doing great. That¡¯s why he came tonight, Hermes remembered. The behavior of the group around Cam was absolutely fascinating. He was handed drinks every time his cup got low¡ªand he was seated improperly upon the tabletop of one cafeteria table. No one questioned why his feet were on a chair¡ªscuffed soles of his white casual sneakers pressed into the dark blue fabric. Impolite, but unquestioned. Hermes sipped his espresso, gone cold now, and watched. Few people seemed to notice him¡ªand those that did gave him a wide enough space that he could observe, unencumbered. Hours passed and the group dwindled and dwindled. Cam¡¯s posture got progressively more relaxed¡ªliquor and exhaustion combined, Hermes concluded, and once almost everyone had left, Cam lounged across the top of the cafeteria table, propped up only by his elbows. The only people remaining: Hermes, Cam, and another analyst¨Cemployed in the Security Department¨Cnamed Soen Tamn, a Medese man with red skin and several rock-like horns at the top of his head. ¡°Well, I may call that a night, then,¡± Cam said, pushing himself up. Soen Tamn jolted upright and said, ¡°Wait, uh.¡± His eyes flashed over to Hermes and narrowed. ¡°I was hoping we could speak, just, one-on-one, maybe.¡± Hermes, too, wished to speak to Cam alone. That was why he had remained rooted in one spot all night, observing. Cam blinked over to Hermes, gave him a little smile, and then waved. Hermes wasn¡¯t sure how to react; he hadn¡¯t intended to stare. He lowered his head in a silent greeting, which made Cam¡¯s smile grow that much wider, and something interesting happened to the pattern of Hermes¡¯ beating heart. Soen grunted and turned to face Hermes. ¡°Fine, alright. We can chat, all three. You¡¯re, like, a robot or something, right?¡± Cam giggled and Hermes noticed the affectionate black color fill beneath Soen¡¯s eyes. His interest was sexual, then. It was a common Medese physiological reaction for their rocky skin to darken during arousal. He wanted privacy so he could proposition Cam¡ªmost likely. Hermes didn¡¯t want to go. But he also didn¡¯t want to witness Soen make advances on Cam¡ª So he spoke for the first time in several hours, a few feet away still, and said, ¡°I am not ¡®like a robot.¡¯ I am an organic humanoid being like you, Soen Tamn. Like Cameron Ollis. And the rest of the crew.¡± Soen rolled his eyes in exasperation at the same time Cam clapped his hands in excitement. ¡°Actually, I was hoping to get to talk to you,¡± Cam said. ¡°You were?¡± Hermes said before he could stop himself. ¡°Well, obviously¡ª¡± Why was that obvious? ¡°I just, you know, got busy, and couldn¡¯t make it over to say hi.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Hermes said, eyes sliding over to Soen, whose mouth had gone all tight. ¡°You were preoccupied most of the evening.¡± Cam jumped off the table, a spring in his step as he walked over. Soen followed behind him, scowling. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Hermes.¡± He extended his hand. Hermes reached out¡ª Their fingertips brushed and Hermes could hear the sound of a song played upon a piano, echoing around him. Tinny and distant, but¡ªhe had heard it before. He knew this song // ng. Did//didn¡¯t h// he? The ship rocked sideways. Sudden, hard, and very unexpected. Cam, Soen, and Hermes flew off their feet. Luckily Soen reacted quickly enough to grab onto Cam¡¯s form¡ªhe was close enough behind him¡ªand softened the blow of them landing on the wall nearby. Hermes was able to twist midair and land on his feet nearby. The lights flickered and went dim, casting the Caf in a sea of dark gray, only the battery-powered backup lights functioning sporadically overhead. The power was out. ¡°What the hell just happened?¡± Soen barked. ¡°It is likely a space storm,¡± said Hermes. ¡°We were expected to encounter such a storm this evening.¡± They were not estimated to lose power over it, however. It shouldn¡¯t¡¯ve been so severe. Hermes¡¯ brows knit closely. The artificial gravity was still intact after the temporary gap¡ªso it was not a full system failure, which was fortunate. ¡°It¡¯s so quiet,¡± Cam said, shifting out of Soen¡¯s hold. He was right¡ªthe usual hum of the many instruments in the Caf had gone silent; all of the machines were shut off. ¡°It would probably be safest to return to our quarters and await further instruction,¡± Hermes said. Cam and Tamn had no arguments. The Caf doors had some arguments, though. With the power off, the automatic door wouldn¡¯t budge. There was a manual failsafe, but Cam struggled with the handle for a minute before sighing in defeat. ¡°It¡¯s stuck.¡± Soen rolled up his sleeves. ¡°Let me.¡± The handle groaned under his strength. But still didn¡¯t budge. When he stepped away, Hermes stepped up, but he didn¡¯t grab the handle, and instead inspected the seam where the door met jam. ¡°We will not be able to open the door.¡± ¡°Yeah, obviously,¡± said Soen. ¡°The safety locks are engaged,¡± Hermes continued to explain. ¡°Soter apparently believes we should remain in place here until the end of the storm. I assume we did not hear an announcement declaring as such because of the lack of audio systems available.¡± ¡°How long are we going to be stuck here?¡± Soen asked, face twisting in frustration. ¡°The storm was estimated to last four hours at my last reading.¡± Cam hugged his arms to himself. ¡°We¡¯re gonna be here until 2am?¡± Soen loudly dropped into a chair, groaning. ¡°Apparently.¡± Hermes looked down at his hands. ¡°I mean, that gives us some time to get to know each other, then, right?¡± Cam said, voice hopeful. Hermes looked up to see Cam smiling, and his grin was very striking this close. His eyes were half-moons, his teeth straight and white, his lips pink and soft. Hermes nodded before he could stop himself. ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°We should get to know each other.¡± From Hermes¡¯ periphery, he saw Soen roll his eyes. Desire Cam was going to absolutely murder Soen. Just¡ªtrap him in a corner of the ship at some point and¡ªlike¡ªchoke him out. Which would be nearly impossible to do, because Soen was Medese with a stupid rock-hard exterior, but Cam would give it a solid try. Perhaps with a bit of steel chain and a rafter for leverage. Speaking of choking¡ª Cam felt his cheeks warm as his memories brought him back to the last time they had sex. Cam always had an excellent time with Soen because he didn¡¯t really understand his strength in relation to human physiology, and he left Cam bruised in the best way. A lot of Cam¡¯s lovers¡ªand there were plenty to count¡ªjust wouldn¡¯t go that far. Soen wasn¡¯t intentionally rough; he was just willfully dumb. It was great. Ahem. Cam shot Soen a lethal look from over Hermes¡¯ shoulder. Soen glared back and tapped the watch on his thick wrist. No shit¡ªtheir evening plans were ruined. Obviously. It wasn¡¯t Cam¡¯s fault there was a solar storm. It wasn¡¯t Hermes¡¯ fault, either, so there was no reason for Soen to treat Hermes so rudely. They could fuck tomorrow. Or the next day. Or whenever. He tried to express all of this with a pointed glare. If Cam were being totally honest, having the opportunity to talk to Hermes trumped any brief sexual encounter anyway. Yeah, sex was good, but how often were you going to get the opportunity to ask an immortal being what it was like being mortal for the first time? Especially an immortal being that was staring. Had been staring. All night long. Cam wasn¡¯t as egotistical to believe that Hermes¡¯ attention was sexual in nature, but¡ªwell¡ªwhat was it, then? Cam tilted his head and looked up into Hermes¡¯ handsome face. ¡°You said you wanted to talk to me?¡± Hermes responded slowly, like he was piecing the words together one by one in his head. ¡°Yes. I would like to ask about your disposition.¡± Cam blinked. ¡°You have many friends. How are you able to accomplish this?¡± Soen burst into laughter behind Hermes, and a full body blush started at Cam¡¯s ears and radiated out. While he struggled to think of a response, Soen chimed in, ¡°He¡¯s real friendly, that¡¯s all.¡± ¡°Shut up, Soen,¡± Cam grumbled. Hermes reached up to stroke a finger across his own chin in thought. ¡°Are you not friendly?¡± ¡°I am,¡± Cam said. He bit his lip. ¡°I¡¯m very nice. That¡¯s really all it is.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not all it is,¡± Soen said. Hermes stepped back so he could look between Soen and Cam. ¡°Meaning?¡± Soen grunted. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you don¡¯t know because you¡¯re a robot or because you¡¯re new to the ship.¡± Hermes huffed out, a sound that nearly seemed¡ªannoyed. ¡°As previously explained, I am not a robot.¡± Soen waved off Hermes¡¯ explanation. ¡°Whatever, whatever. Look, Cam¡¯s a little promiscuous.¡± Cam was going to launch Soen out into space and watch him die and he was going to enjoy it. For Hermes¡¯ part, he at least didn¡¯t seem¡ªsurprised. Or judgmental. He simply nodded. ¡°You were waiting to proposition him¡ªsexually¡ªwhen I interrupted.¡± ¡°Sort of. The proposition already happened earlier today. I was waiting for you to go so we could, you know.¡± ¡°Have sex.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Cam wasn¡¯t ashamed of his proclivities. He liked sex. He was good at it. But explaining this to Hermes was an absolutely humiliating task. ¡°Soen, I swear to god.¡± Soen laughed. ¡°You don¡¯t need to be embarrassed. You¡¯re one of the best lays on Soter.¡± ¡°One of the best?¡± Cam squawked. ¡°Excuse me?¡± Soen¡¯s laughter continued uproariously. ¡°I apologize,¡± Hermes said. ¡°I feel I overstepped.¡± ¡°No, absolutely not¡ª¡± Cam stepped forward. ¡°It¡¯s not you. Soen¡¯s just a jerk. I¡¯m not¡ªI¡¯m not upset or anything¡ª¡± ¡°Your heart rate is elevated and you¡¯re perspiring. It is distressing for you to discuss this topic. I apologize.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just¡ªa little embarrassing.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Soen asked. ¡°Who cares? It¡¯s just Hermes.¡± ¡°Hermes is an important member of the crew,¡± Cam said, pointedly, shooting a dagger-eyed look at Tamn, ¡°And his opinion is valuable.¡± ¡°This has not affected my opinion of you,¡± Hermes said, brows knitting together. Cam¡¯s mouth opened and closed a few times, at a loss. Finally, he said, ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Love is important to humans; it¡¯s one of the most documented phenomena in your culture¡¯s history. I am unsurprised to learn that you also value it highly.¡± ¡°Sex isn¡¯t love,¡± Cam said. ¡°I don¡¯t¡ªI¡¯ve never¡ª¡± He cleared his throat and figured¡ªwell, if he¡¯s gone this far. He might as well close the loop. ¡°I¡¯ve never been in love. I just have sex.¡± Hermes stood unblinking for several seconds. ¡°You have sex recreationally.¡± ¡°The way he does it is certainly recreational,¡± Soen mumbled. Hermes¡¯ silence seemed both surprised and thoughtful. Eventually, he nodded to himself, and said, ¡°I understand. Thank you. This has been enlightening.¡± ¡°Has it?¡± Cam asked, voice tight. ¡°I would like to make friends with members of the crew,¡± Hermes explained. ¡°I believe most people are uncomfortable in my presence.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not.¡± Cam¡¯s smile came on unbidden. ¡°I¡¯ll be your friend, Hermes.¡± Hermes looked a little troubled at that. Cam¡¯s heart sank. So his opinion had been sullied; he didn¡¯t think Cam was even worthy of friendship. Humiliation curdled the drink in Cam¡¯s stomach; he thought he might be sick. But then Hermes said, ¡°I apologize, Ollis. I have never had sex, so I will not be a suitable friend to you. Perhaps after I do some research.¡± ¡°Wh¡ª¡± Soen¡¯s laughter cut through the tension. ¡°He doesn¡¯t fuck all of his friends. He has female friends, after all. He¡¯s friends with your mom. He¡¯s not sleeping with Qhathiren.¡± If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Hermes stroked a finger along his chin again. ¡°Oh. I see. I misunderstood again.¡± ¡°We can be friends without having sex,¡± Cam said, feeling out of body. ¡°That is good. Then, yes, I would like to be your friend.¡± ¡°I need to sit down,¡± Cam said. Relief had taken the place of embarrassment, but his roiling stomach was still unsettled. He heard the sound of chair legs dragging on the metal floor of the Caf and Soen¡¯s hand guided his shoulder until he sat back in a provided chair. Silence filled the space. Eventually, Tamn said, ¡°So. You¡¯re a virgin, huh?¡± Hermes tilted his head. ¡°The concept of virginity is not something I identify easily with. I have never had sex.¡± ¡°All sex?¡± ¡°There are different types?¡± Hermes seemed to scan his own thoughts, head tilted back. ¡°Are you referring to oral sex? I have not done that either.¡± Cam began to choke. Soen, for his part, seemed filled with glee, his laughs bouncing between the Caf walls. ¡°So, you¡¯ve never even kissed someone,¡± Tamn continued. ¡°Correct. I have never held someone in my embrace, either.¡± ¡°Wait¡ª¡± Soen slouched back. ¡°You¡¯ve never even hugged another person?¡± Hermes blinked. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Have you¡ªheld hands?¡± Hermes looked at his hand. ¡°I have not. I often walk with Dr. Wha¡¯s arm in my elbow, however.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never hugged your mom?¡± ¡°I believe you misunderstand our relationship. Dr. Wha is not my mother.¡± ¡°She¡¯s sort-of your mother. She¡¯s in charge of you.¡± ¡°That would make Captain Shear your father.¡± ¡°Cam does call him Ship Daddy, so¡­¡± Cam kicked a foot out and landed a blow on Soen¡¯s thigh, sending him stumbling forward. ¡°Shut up, Soen. God.¡± ¡°Ship Daddy?¡± That phrase in Hermes¡¯ robotic sounding tone of voice was absolutely absurd. In any other situation, Cam was sure he¡¯d be crying of laughter. Instead, he groaned. ¡°It¡¯s kind of a joke. I promise it¡¯s not disrespectful¡ªI think the world of Shear. He¡¯s a great captain.¡± As Soen straightened back up, glaring at Cam, he continued, ¡°And you, Soen, shouldn¡¯t be filling Hermes¡¯ head with stupid shit.¡± ¡°No, I appreciate it,¡± Hermes said. ¡°I believe understanding your relationship with various crewmen will help me in my pursuit.¡± ¡°Of friendship?¡± ¡°Correct.¡± Cam sighed. ¡°Well, whatever I can do to help.¡± ¡°Do you call Dr. Wha ¡®Ship Mommy¡¯?¡± Cam choked again and Soen, like before, began to laugh.
Agreeing to befriend an ageless seemingly-magical not-robot man seemed awesome in theory. In practice, it was humiliating. Cam was a confident guy. He was tall, conventionally attractive by most standards, and he was considered a technical genius because of his ability to do complex multiplication at record-breaking speed. He graduated from the Earthguard at age twenty, a full four years before the average student. Nonetheless, he felt like a tiny, pathetic, garbage-human standing next to Hermes. Cameron could do math really fast, yeah; but Hermes could do it instantly. Cam was tall and handsome; but Hermes was, like, seven feet and built like a god. Today, they were in the Training Quarter. Cam had successfully avoided the Training Quarter in the last six months he was aboard Soter¡ªhe preferred to get his exercise in actual physical practice (ahem), but apparently his babysitting Hermes extended to all areas of the ship, including the Runny Runny Punchy Weight Lifty Room. Cam slapped the ¡°stop¡± button upon the treadmill as he thought his lunch might explode out of him¡ªtop or bottom, who knows¡ªand groaned as he slid off the end of the machine and sank to his knees. ¡°Are you alright?¡± Hermes asked. Cam moaned in pain and gave him a thumbs up. He looked over to Hermes, who was still keeping perfect pace on his treadmill, which was elevated to maximum and moving at top speed. ¡°I¡¯m so out of shape,¡± Cam finally gasped when he had enough space in his lungs for anything other than precious, life-giving oxygen. Hermes tapped the ¡°stop¡± button and his machine slowly shut down. He stepped off, grabbing the towel suspended on one handlebar, and hummed thoughtfully. ¡°I do not believe you are out of shape. Your form is admirable.¡± Cam scoffed. ¡°It¡¯s considered the most desirable among the crew,¡± he said. Cam pushed himself to stand. ¡°There¡¯s a difference between being physically fit and being sexually attractive.¡± He gestured to Hermes, poking a finger between his perfect, gigantic, soft pecs. ¡°Physically fit.¡± He pointed to his own very flat, very sweaty chest. ¡°Sexually attractive.¡± ¡°I am not sexually attractive?¡± Cam sputtered. Finally, he managed, ¡°Do you want to be?¡± Hermes stared down at Cam, lips pursed in thought. ¡°I do not suppose that is very important to me, no.¡± Cam sighed in relief. He didn¡¯t stand a chance against Hermes, obviously, but there was some relief in knowing he wouldn¡¯t have to actually compete against him. A bead of sweat slid from Hermes¡¯ short, dark, wavy hair, down his thick neck, and into the top of his low-cut tank, and Cam¡¯s mouth involuntarily filled with saliva. Yeah, it was a very good thing. Hermes with sexual desire would be a goddamn menace. Focus, Cam. He cleared his throat. ¡°Oh, what¡¯s this?¡± Hermes and Cam turned to see Dr. Wha at the door to the Training Quarter. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you two were friends now.¡± Cam, having caught his breath enough to not immediately puke upon standing, stretched back to his full height. ¡°Hey, Qhathiren.¡± ¡°So my suggestion to hang out at the Mixer last night worked?¡± ¡°Yes, but mostly because of the power outage,¡± Hermes said. ¡°Cameron, Tamn, and myself were trapped in the Caf for a few hours. Cam agreed to be my friend.¡± ¡°How nice of him.¡± ¡°Being Hermes¡¯ friend apparently means exercising regularly. He does this after work hours every single day,¡± Cam said. He winced as a stitch developed in his side. ¡°It seemed like a good idea at first.¡± Hermes leaned in close, brows lifted in concern. ¡°You are in pain.¡± Dr. Wha scoffed. ¡°He¡¯s fine.¡± She reached out and patted Hermes¡¯ shoulder, soothing him from his concern. Sure, yeah, Cameron was the one being stabbed in the side by an invisible knife, but Hermes was the one who needed comfort in the situation. Made perfect sense. Like hell she wasn¡¯t his mom. ¡°Perhaps we should retire for the evening,¡± Hermes suggested. Cam nodded. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m gonna go grab some food and then lay in bed for eighteen hours.¡± They began to depart towards the locker room when Qhathiren grabbed Cam¡¯s arm. ¡°Can I talk to you¡ªbriefly?¡± Oh no. Hermes hesitated and she waved him on. ¡°You go change. Cam¡¯ll be right there.¡± Hermes scrunched his nose in thought but finally agreed, disappearing behind the locker room doorway. ¡°Thank you,¡± Qhathiren said when they were alone. Cameron blinked owlishly. ¡°For?¡± ¡°Befriending Hermes.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to thank me for that.¡± She smiled, feigning a look of thoughtful innocence that Cam could see through immediately. She leaned in and said, ¡°I have an idea. Would you be willing to help out in an official capacity?¡± ¡°Official¡­¡± Cam tilted his head. ¡°Meaning?¡± ¡°Hermes has a ground mission coming up next week. Could you tag along? I just¡ªwant to make sure it¡¯s successful. For his sake, but also, honestly, my sake. The whole Hermes program is really hoping he integrates well.¡± She waved her hands around with a thoughtful noise. ¡°You know, like, with other people, and in his job, and stuff.¡± Cameron hadn¡¯t been part of the ground crew before. Those jobs were reserved for the strong, fit, fighting types¡ªbecause they could be dangerous. Many of the worlds they stopped upon had undocumented predators. He pursed his lips. ¡°It might not be a good idea, Qhat. I almost passed out running a mile. I¡¯m not sure I¡¯d pass the requirements to join.¡± Dr. Wha scoffed. ¡°If I can pass, you can pass.¡± ¡°Hm.¡± Her black eyes lit up, fluorescents twinkling. ¡°Hermes is a hundred years old, but he¡¯s still really new at¡ªeverything. I just want to make sure he has someone there who can help him navigate, you know, being a person.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that what you¡¯re for?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t always be there, you know?¡± Cam nodded, slowly at first, and then more assured. ¡°Alright. Fine. What would I have to do exactly?¡± ¡°Just keep at Hermes¡¯ side. I¡¯m going to be there, too, but in a different vessel. I can send you the mission briefing. It¡¯s going to be an easy one.¡± She leaned in and whispered, ¡°Adam made sure.¡± She winked in a way that meant she and her fiance had clearly discussed details of the expedition alone. ¡°Okay.¡± Qhathiren clapped. ¡°Perfect. Thank god.¡± She sagged a bit in relief. ¡°I¡¯ll have all the information sent to your quarters. Thanks, Ollis.¡± He cleared his throat, a little lost in her enthusiasm. ¡°Sure thing, doc.¡± He did idly wonder why Qhathiren decided now that she needed an official babysitter for her project, but Cam caught Hermes mid-shower in the locker rooms and all coherent thought left him for the next several hours. Wine & Revelations In the week leading up to the mission, Cam continued to join Hermes in his after-shift workouts. He hadn¡¯t been this busy since attending Earthguard training. ¡°You¡¯re really taking this whole mission thing seriously,¡± said Soen from Cam¡¯s bed, still naked and damp from their ¡°recreational activities.¡± ¡°Well, we leave in two days. If I¡¯m gonna be any use to Hermes, I have to get my shit together.¡± ¡°You really like the robot, then.¡± Cam shrugged on his sweatpants and stretched, popping his back. ¡°He¡¯s nice.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure he was programmed that way.¡± Cam rolled his eyes. ¡°Why did they pick you to help out with this, anyway?¡± Cam turned around, crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyes. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± ¡°Oh, calm down. I¡¯m just saying, like¡ªwe have actual sociobiologists and psychologists on board. Surely one of them is more qualified to help Hermes be less awkward and weird. Are you even getting paid?¡± ¡°I¡¯m getting Hazard Recognition.¡± Which included a bump in pay and special accolades that could help him secure even greater jobs in the future. Soen, who had gotten Hazard Recognition years ago during a stint as an Earthguard soldier, snorted. ¡°Whatever. Just be careful.¡± ¡°Oh, are you worried for me, Soen?¡± Cam¡¯s smile slowly turned fanged. ¡°Care about my health and well-being, do you?¡± Soen¡¯s mouth flattened into a line. ¡°Would that be so bad?¡± A sneaking hint of anxiety bloomed in Cam¡¯s gut. ¡°Oh.¡± Shit. He really didn¡¯t like this part. The ¡°I¡¯m having tender feelings for you¡± part. Cam didn¡¯t do attachments. Casual sex was perfect; why ruin it with things like emotion and commitment and long, meaningful stares? He had hoped he and Soen would be able to maintain this no-strings-attached arrangement for the length of their assignment aboard Soter. As he looked into Soen¡¯s deep, round, black eyes, Cam knew his hopes were completely dashed. Damn it. ¡°Look, Soen¡ª¡± Cam¡¯s door sensor pinged behind him. He spun around, blinking curiously. He tapped the security panel by the door and saw Hermes standing outside¡ªholding a box. Without really thinking about it, he opened the door with a press of a button. ¡°Hey! I didn¡¯t expect you.¡± Hermes froze, eyes wide, and Cam realized the scene he painted in front of his very innocent friend. He was wearing gray sweats and nothing else while directly behind him, Soen Tamn was naked and covered only by the blankets of Cam¡¯s bed. ¡°Hold please,¡± Cam said, slamming his hand on the door-close panel. The door swished shut. He turned around and gestured at Soen wildly. ¡°Get up. Get dressed.¡± Tamn groaned. ¡°Come on. I wanted to nap¡ª¡± ¡°Do it in your own quarters. Get. Shoo.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re kicking me out for that guy. You¡¯re obsessed¡ª¡± Soen grumbled as he was forcibly hauled to his feet. He found his uniform and started climbing into it while Cam stumbled to his own wardrobe and located an appropriate white t-shirt. Once they were dressed¡ªin record time¡ªCam opened the door again. Hermes was still there, clutching the box between his enormous, strong, bashful hands. Cam said, ¡°So sorry¡ª¡± to Hermes as Soen shuffled past him. Soen laughed as he left. ¡°See you later, Cam.¡± Cam didn¡¯t bother responding and instead ushered Hermes into his quarters. ¡°Come in, come in.¡± ¡°I did not mean to interrupt your evening¡ª¡± ¡°No, you didn¡¯t¡ª¡± Cam choked. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°I believe that I did. Your relationship with Soen Tamn is important.¡± ¡°No,¡± Cam said, rubbing his face. ¡°It¡¯s not like that. We¡¯re¡­ It¡¯s just¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯re having sex,¡± Hermes said. ¡°Meaningless sex,¡± Cam confirmed. ¡°I did not mean to interrupt.¡± ¡°We were done, Hermes. It¡¯s fine.¡± Hermes stared down at Cam, a skeptical line of tension between his brows. Cam, desperate for a topic change, pointed to the box. ¡°What did you bring?¡± Hermes lifted it. ¡°I received a gift from Captain Shear. I wanted to share it with you.¡± Cam blinked and examined the sealed wrapping paper. ¡°You haven¡¯t even opened it yet.¡± Hermes tilted his head. ¡°No.¡± ¡°How do you know you¡¯ll be able to share it?¡± Hermes looked down at the box, considering. ¡°Oh.¡± Cam held back a laugh¡ªhe didn¡¯t want Hermes to think he was making fun of him, but¡ª ¡°I realize my error. You are correct that whatever I¡¯ve been given is likely intended only for me.¡± He seemed to sink a little on himself. ¡°I apologize.¡± ¡°You¡¯re¡ª¡± Cute. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you wanted me to give you lessons on how to be friendly.¡± Hermes was basically bursting at the seams to love someone; he was so thoughtful and kind naturally. What good could Cam do? The thought of teaching him how to be a ¡°better¡± person was laughable. Hermes hugged the package to himself, obviously uncertain. And maybe a little embarrassed. Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Go ahead and open it. I¡¯m really curious now.¡± What would Ship Daddy have given his adopted son, anyway? Cam leaned in, examining the size of the box, trying to clue in on what it could be. Hermes unfolded the end of the package and the paper fell away, revealing¡ªa wooden box with a very fancy etched glass front. Inside, there was a fine bottle of red wine. Hermes extracted the bottle and examined the label while Cam placed the box upon his crowded desk. ¡°Well, you certainly got lucky, Hermes,¡± said Cam. ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°That¡ª¡± He pointed to the bottle and couldn¡¯t help his grin. ¡°¡ªis something you can share with me.¡± Hermes hesitated, nodded, and a small, private smile pulled at his mouth. ¡°Okay. Do you have glasses?¡±
Cameron Ollis was drunk. ¡°You¡¯re not even that awkward,¡± he slurred. ¡°Seriously, I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re worried. You really don¡¯t need me around.¡± ¡°I lack experience,¡± Hermes explained, again. ¡°And you are experienced.¡± Cam¡¯s flushed face darkened more red. His silvery eyes darted around Hermes¡¯ face in a blurry, half-lidded examination. ¡°Yeah, I am.¡± ¡°Our arrangement is simply to teach me the things I need to know.¡± Hermes reached out to steady Cam as he started to sway forward. ¡°Are you okay?¡± ¡°What¡¯re we talking about?¡± Cam asked, voice slurred. His lips were a little purple from the wine and Hermes tried not to notice. He cleared his throat and said, ¡°It is not important. Perhaps we should retire you to bed.¡± ¡°You gonna tuck me into bed real sweetly? I bet you will. You¡¯re all¡ªsugary sweet¡ªlike a very sexy baby. Seven feet tall, 100 year old¡­baby. With abs,¡± Cam mumbled, eyes narrowed as he stared, half-focused, into Hermes¡¯ face. ¡°I will prepare you a glass of water,¡± Hermes said, jumping to his feet. ¡°Keeping hydrated will alleviate the severity of your hangover symptoms come morning.¡± Hermes was unaffected by the alcohol in this quantity, thanks to the Medese side of his physiology. He and Cam had split the bottle exactly down the middle, which was a lot for an Earthling, and not too much for Hermes. Cameron mumbled something incoherent from behind Hermes as he approached the small kitchenette. He fetched a glass from where they were placed inside a clear glass cabinet, rinsed it clean, and filled it with water, trying to keep his elbows from hitting the cabinet, the shelf, or the desk behind him. Hermes felt like he was incorrectly proportioned quite often¡ªtoo big for most clothing, too big for most beds, too big for most vehicles¡ªand he was certainly too big for Cam¡¯s quarters. He thought that perhaps most people would be too big for Cam¡¯s quarters, though. The space was very small. When he turned around, Cam had collapsed into his rumpled bed, sighing, eyes shut. His white shirt was hiked up just past his navel. His skin was pale and soft looking and Hermes had yet to see a belly button in person¡ªhe didn¡¯t have one, after all. He placed the glass of water on the small table beside Cam¡¯s bed and sat upon the edge, leaning in to look at his navel, hands hovering above his stomach curiously. Cam¡¯s eyes were closed before, but at some point he must have opened them, because he asked, ¡°What are you doing?¡± Hermes jumped to standing. After a moment, he said, ¡°I apologize.¡± Cam pushed himself up to his elbows and his shirt fell down, over his stomach again. ¡°For what?¡± ¡°I was about to touch you without your permission.¡± Cam groaned and collapsed back down. ¡°I hope I¡¯m sober enough to remember you saying that. Straight into the bank.¡± Hermes didn¡¯t understand, but he nodded as if he did. ¡°I will leave n¡ª¡± ¡°You have permission to touch me,¡± Cam said, voice gone high. ¡°If you want.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Hermes shuffled from one foot to the other, back and forth, mind racing to extract the precise meaning of Cam¡¯s permission. Hesitantly, Hermes added, ¡°I will bear that in mind in the future.¡± Cam scoffed. ¡°I meant, like, now. You¡¯re so bad at flirting, Hermes.¡± ¡°I am inadequate at most social interactions.¡± ¡°Yeah, but right now: I¡¯m flirting, and you¡¯re not flirting back.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Hermes¡¯ mind stopped racing, and instead, was perfectly blank. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Why¡­¡± Cam said, eyes squinted open, staring at his ceiling. ¡°I dunno. I just, you know, do that. I like flirting with men. It¡¯s fun.¡± A smile drifted onto his sleepy face, and his eyes sought out Hermes again. The look¡ªhappy, perhaps devious¡ªmade Hermes¡¯ breath cat// ch. A s// ong he heard before filled his mi. //nd His mind . // Cam said, ¡°Why did you want to touch me?¡± And Hermes replied, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± And Cam stretched back, luxuriating in his bed like some ancient emperor on silk instead of a medium-ranking science officer atop cheap blended fabric. ¡°Try it.¡± Hermes, standing next to Cam¡¯s bed, looked to the door, then back to Cam. Was he flirting? Was this flirting? Was this something he needed to know? His fingers twitched at his side as the next question came unbidden: was this something he wanted to know? Without leaving too much room to overthink, Hermes simply leaned over Cam¡¯s form and placed a hand upon his stomach, the thin shirt a barrier between the two. Warm// th . / . // Warmth . / Cam was very still. Hermes, a year into his corporeal form, still found touch a fascinating sense, and his entire world focused on the soft feeling of cotton against his palm, and the shocking warmth of Cameron¡¯s body beneath his fingertips, and the expanding and contracting of his stomach as he breathed¡ªvery shallowly¡ªvery carefully. ¡°I¡¯m so glad I¡¯m drunk right now,¡± Cameron said, voice just above a whisper. Hermes had touched his own body many times at this point, fascinated with the shape of his form and the pliability of his skin, but he didn¡¯t feel as warm as Cam. He wanted to curl into the soft, cozy heat of him, and had a sudden compulsion to press his lips to the belly beneath his palm. He resisted, however, and instead pulled Cam¡¯s shirt back just enough to expose the round scar of his belly button. Quietly, he asked, ¡°Did it hurt?¡± Cam exhaled, voice trembling ¡°We don¡¯t remember it. When it happens, I mean. Newborns don¡¯t remember stuff like that.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Hermes¡¯ thumb brushed over Cam¡¯s navel and Cam¡¯s breath hitched, fingers tightening into the sheets. ¡°You do not form memories until years into your life.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°That is fortunate. This would hurt.¡± his thumb brushed Cam¡¯s belly button again and this time, Cam shivered, skin tightening beneath Hermes¡¯ touch. Hermes withdrew his hand and stood up and took a step back, but the heat of Cam¡¯s body seemed permanently embedded in his fingerprints. His fist clenched tightly at his side. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said. Cam rubbed at his face¡ªand groaned¡ªand his tongue was purple like his lips, but Hermes forced himself to look away. ¡°You¡¯re welcome, I guess,¡± he said. He looked Hermes up and down and said, ¡°You don¡¯t find flirting fun. That wasn¡¯t fun for you.¡± ¡°I suppose not.¡± Fun wasn¡¯t what he would call it. Pleasurable, perhaps. He felt hot, like some of Cam¡¯s natural warmth had spread to him somehow. Cam laughed and Hermes wasn¡¯t sure why. ¡°Don¡¯t you have something you do for fun? I mean, aside from eating all your vegetables and running on a treadmill every day.¡± The music continued in his mind. ¡°I like playing my piano.¡± There was a beat of silence before Cameron pushed himself up on his bed to sit against his pillow. ¡°You play the piano.¡± Hermes nodded. ¡°I am teaching myself to compose music.¡± ¡°And you like it?¡± Hermes nodded again. ¡°You should play for me some time.¡± ¡°You would like to hear me play music?¡± ¡°Yeah. Of course. I bet you¡¯re really good with your hands.¡± Hermes looked down to his fingers. ¡°I do have the advantage of reach, because my fingers are long, and I am able to transition between distant keys easily.¡± Cam rolled his eyes. ¡°No, no. This is where you would flirt back. I say that you¡¯re really good with your hands and you say something like, ¡®I can show you how good some time.¡¯¡± Hermes¡¯ hands tightened into themselves. ¡°I would be happy to play for you some time.¡± Cam¡¯s smile melted into something soft. ¡°Okay, fine. Tomorrow, then.¡± ¡°That could be inadvisable. Music could make the condition of your hangover worse¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. I¡¯ll see you after work tomorrow. Your quarters. Not the Training Quarter.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Cam relaxed back into his bed and sighed, shifting into his sheets. ¡°Thank god. I¡¯m sick of working out.¡± He seemed to drift off a bit as his voice quieted to a whisper. ¡°Goodnight, Hermes.¡± ¡°Good night, Cameron.¡± That night, Hermes couldn¡¯t sleep. His hand sat warm at his side. Music & Mayhem ¡°This is what I¡¯ve been trying to learn,¡± Hermes said, feeling bashful now that he was openly presenting his hobby in front of someone other than Dr. Wha. ¡°This is the coolest piano I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± Cam said, voice awed. To his credit, Cam didn¡¯t look nearly as sick as Hermes was sure he felt. The only real sign of his hangover was the faintly purple half-moon discoloration beneath each eye and the fact he had a death grip on the bottle of water at his side. Hermes was hungover in his own way, truthfully. Every time he laid eyes on Cam, his hand felt warm again. ¡°Please, sit.¡± Hermes gestured to the chair and ottoman he had in the corner of his quarters, across from the piano. ¡°I like your room,¡± Cam said, dropping into the chair, feet landing on the ottoman with a quiet thump. ¡°It¡¯s big.¡± Hermes couldn¡¯t really argue with that after seeing Cam¡¯s space. ¡°It¡¯s the standard quarters afforded to all of the medical personnel.¡± ¡°Yeah, y¡¯all are spoiled.¡± Cam grinned playfully. ¡°You¡¯d think someone in your department was fucking the captain.¡± Hermes nodded solemnly. ¡°Dr. Wha is his long-term companion.¡± Cameron threw his head back and barked a laugh. ¡°I know. I¡¯m teasing.¡± ¡°I see. Dr. Wha does that quite often, too.¡± ¡°Between the two of us, you¡¯ll pick it up.¡± Hermes was doubtful of that. He took a seat at the piano. ¡°What would you like me to play?¡± Cam leaned forward, looking at the keys and the smooth black lines of the instrument. He seemed to consider the question seriously, before humming to himself. ¡°You said you were learning to compose music, right?¡± ¡°I am.¡± ¡°Play me something you¡¯re working on.¡± Hermes felt even more bashful now¡ªmore so than when Cameron first entered. ¡°I am new to the art.¡± ¡°And I¡¯m entirely untrained, so I won¡¯t even know if you screw up.¡± ¡°Yes, but you have ears.¡± Cam giggled. ¡°Good point. I have a hard time imagining you being bad at anything you do, though.¡± ¡°Composing a good song requires more than technical knowledge. It requires¡ª¡± Hermes searched his mind for the appropriate term. ¡°¡ªfeelings.¡± ¡°What, and you don¡¯t have those?¡± Hermes looked back to Cam from over the piano, analyzing his beautiful face and the soft texture of his white-blond hair and his friendly, charming smile. Cameron was so full of emotion. Everything he did, he did with feeling. Hermes couldn¡¯t compare to him; Cameron was a sunny day. Hermes was a starless night. ¡°I do not think my expression of feelings is adequate for strong musical composition, no.¡± Cam¡¯s face fell. Hermes was concerned he¡¯d offended him somehow¡ª ¡°Your lessons are contributing greatly, however,¡± he tried to explain. ¡°You¡¯re dumb as hell.¡± Hermes blinked. ¡°Hermes, you feel things all the time.¡± He looked down at his fingers, splayed across the smooth white keys. ¡°You¡¯re just¡­careful. There¡¯s nothing wrong with that.¡± Hermes peeked back at Cam and saw him smiling again. ¡°Look, you can play something else, if you want. Like¡ª¡± Cam made a few circular motions with his hands as he looked up, into the air, like there were names circling his head. ¡°Debussy.¡± ¡°Claude Debussy?¡± Cam shrugged. ¡°Serenade for the Doll?¡± Cam tucked his hands into his lap and nodded enthusiastically. ¡°Sure.¡± Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. He could do this one. It was very easy. Did Cam know that? Was it an intentional mercy? Hermes stroked the keys, straightening his back. He pressed the first note and the song fell from his fingertips like gentle water through a glassy pebble-lined riverbank. It wasn¡¯t necessarily perfect, but it was passable and pretty in its own right. Hermes snuck a glance at Cam¡ª He was smiling. Hermes could feel his heart beating faster as he continued to play. And then, at the end, when he stroked the final note, Cam burst into applause. Hermes ducked his head. His heart was galloping now. ¡°I knew you¡¯d be amazing,¡± Cam said. ¡°It was not perfect.¡± ¡°Yeah, it was.¡± Cam stood and came over to lean against the corner of the piano. ¡°Are you warmed up now?¡± Hermes¡¯ heart continued to pound. It was loud in his ears. Could Cam hear that? When he looked up, Cam was wearing that same charming look he wore all the time. ¡°I am adequately warm, yes,¡± said Hermes. ¡°Try one of the pieces you¡¯re composing.¡± Looking up into Cam¡¯s face gave Hermes an unexpected strength. Cam seemed earnestly supportive, and it overshadowed almost all of Hermes¡¯ self-doubt. He swallowed and straightened his shoulders. ¡°Okay. I will play my current piece. It is unfinished, however.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fine. That¡¯s perfect.¡± Cam slouched against the piano. ¡°Let¡¯s hear it.¡± That s// ong. The one he had heard befor// e. He knew This // song . // He began writing this piece during his first night aboard Soter. A distant spread of notes, reaching gently between each other, far, and quiet, and lonely. Uncertain. And then something bright. Something bold. It reached out, the sound connecting to the isolated notes from before. They were brought together, beat after beat, a vibration that filled the silence¡ª It wasn¡¯t as lone// ly Lonely like this .// Hermes¡¯ fingers finished the last note with a hint of a tremor¡ªhe wanted to go on, but he hadn¡¯t gotten that far. He stared at the keys for a minute, deep in thought about what would come next in the song. ¡°That was beautiful,¡± Cam said. Hermes blinked up at him. ¡°Oh. Did you like it?¡± Cam watched Hermes with a silent, meaningful gaze that Hermes couldn¡¯t quite translate. Eventually, he said, ¡°Yes.¡± Hermes gave a small, private smile. From around hi // i m He heard music // .
Cameron read and reread the mission brief until it was perfectly memorized. The very first line of the document read, ¡°Make contact with the peaceful inhabitants of the newly contacted planet, T-446.¡± T ¡ª terrestrial, with a humanoid-safe atmosphere. 446 ¡ª the 4th planet in the 4th quadrant of the 6th sector outside the Milky Way. The inhabitants were a combination of the alien races but seemed composed mostly of Earthlings. How long they had been on T-446 was unknown; this was the most important question outlined in the document. It could have been centuries. ¡°You are reading the brief,¡± Hermes pointed out as they buckled into the seats of the shuttle. Everything was white and chrome and clean inside the small ship, just like the interiors of Soter itself. Hermes looked quite handsome in his white jumpsuit. Cam had only ever seen him in the gray scrubs of the medical personnel or the casual attire he wore to train. Cam tried not to stare at the way the mission suit stretched perfectly across his broad shoulders. There was something commanding about his presence with his slicked-back hair and his sweeping height¡ªeven the other three crewmen in the shuttle looked to him with deference, bowing as they entered. Cam shook his head to clear it of that line of thought. ¡°Yes, uh, I¡¯m just rereading it one more time. I want to make sure I haven¡¯t forgotten anything.¡± Which was stupid. He had it memorized. But¡ª ¡°Are you nervous?¡± asked Hermes. Cam slowly lowered the screen of the digipad and sighed. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°The inhabitants are peaceful,¡± Hermes said, as if it were the simplest thing. Cam couldn¡¯t help a laugh. ¡°I know. I¡¯m worried for nothing. Just human things. Anxiety for no real reason.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Hermes offered him a smile, revealing his long sharp canines and straight teeth, and Cam found that he was a little less nervous. It was a simple trip. They¡¯d collect samples, talk with the inhabitants, and go home. It was supposed to be a mission that would take less than a day on a planet that was supposed to be as safe as home. Supposed to be. Cam heard a high-pitched whizz¡ªand felt the boom before he heard it. They were about fifteen minutes into the journey when the shuttle next to theirs was blown to screaming, fiery pieces; the debris rocked their own vessel off its course. Sudden wailing alarms and flashing of lights surrounded Cam on all sides and he felt his stomach turn over, mind gone blank in horror. ¡°Hostiles detected,¡± said the computerized voice of Soter¡¯s vessel. ¡°Please secure y¡ª¡± Another exploding roar cut through the alarms and suddenly the world was silent. Cam was deafened by the volume of the explosion, and he heard only ringing¡ª Their shuttle was torn in half. It was in free fall. Still strapped to the seat, Cam knew he was screaming. He could see nothing but thick black smoke and flashes of white as the sun overhead was now visible through the gaping hole where the rest of the shuttle should be. He was going to die. It took seconds for Cam to calculate the odds, numbers precise even in his panic. Chances of him surviving an impact with the planet from this height, in combination with the strength of gravity on T-446, were astoundingly low. And he was scared. His final thought, before the end, was that he wished he could have heard the end of Hermes¡¯ song.
His vision was frac// tured . / . Why was he seeing so man . y images// at once? It was l// ike the connections were cut and he couldn//¡¯t parse together what was happenin//g. What was happening? Wh//y did he hear¡­ Music. An Attack The shuttle¡¯s antigravity fail-safe kicked in right before impact, as it was designed to do, which is the only reason Hermes, Cam, and the remaining crewman weren¡¯t killed in the crash. Their vessel landed with a loud roar of air, kicking up dust on all sides. Hermes wrenched free of his twisted seat fastenings, moving on instinct more than anything else. Before it was torn in half, the shuttle warned the crew that the inhabitants of T-446 were not peaceful. He knew he could not remain in one place¡ªespecially fastened in one place¡ªbecause any attackers would find and kill him. And Cam. Cam¡¯s snowy white skin was marred with gray ash and a splattering of blood where some metal debris impacted his collarbone and left a gash. His head lolled to one side, eyes rolled back, and Hermes concluded that the sudden loss of oxygen while midair had caused Cam to lose consciousness. ¡°Cam. Cameron,¡± Hermes said. He was surprised at how pleading his voice came out¡ªhis hands reached out shakily, and he steadied Cam¡¯s head as he came to. As soon as they touched, the world quieted, and Hermes felt a peace wash over himself. Mind calm, he was able to see the beating of Cam¡¯s pulse in his throat and the gentle exhale of his breath and Hermes knew he was alright. Cam¡¯s wide eyes blinked. He gasped. Hermes squeezed the sides of his face gently. ¡°Are you conscious?¡± Cam nodded. ¡°We have to go.¡± He unfastened Cam¡¯s safety belt and turned to the man across the shuttle. He hadn¡¯t lost consciousness, but he was sweating profusely and breathing heavily, at the brink of panic. Hermes hesitated before placing a hand upon the man¡¯s chest. ¡°You are okay,¡± he said. ¡°We survived the fall.¡± To Hermes¡¯ surprise, Cam¡¯s voice sounded from behind him. ¡°Come on, Lyh.¡± He seemed to have gathered his wits in record time, and was tightening the laces on his boots, though he winced in pain from the injury on his collar. ¡°Get up. Hermes is right; we need to go.¡± Hermes recalled the man¡¯s name now that Cam had reminded him. Lyh Haasit, a middle-aged Tarotan translator with gray fur-covered skin and big bull-style horns. Hermes helped him out of the safety belt and together, they exited what was left of their vehicle, and found themselves in a flat, desert-like terrain, with plumes of smoke visible across several points in the horizon. It was with a sudden kick to his chest that Hermes realized¡ª Dr. Wha was in one of those ships. He started to move forward but Cam¡¯s hand tightened on his biceps before he took two steps. ¡°Over there. Hermes, look¡ª¡± His voice was tinged in panic. Figures wearing black full body suits, faces covered by reflective shields, appeared along the horizon. Hermes, Cam, and Lyh ducked behind their shuttle debris. Cam¡¯s hand hadn¡¯t left Hermes¡¯ arm. ¡°Are either of you trained in combat?¡± asked Lyh. ¡°I am not,¡± Hermes said. Cam shook his head, a little frantically. ¡°The half of our shuttle that got destroyed was the half with the soldiers,¡± Lyh said, voice going high at the end, like the panic was getting to him again. ¡°I don¡¯t even have a pistol.¡± I¡¯m not going to die like this, Cam thought, and Hermes looked at him. ¡°What?¡± asked Hermes. Cam¡¯s brows pinched in concern. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You just¡ªspoke¡ª¡± without opening his mouth. Cam¡¯s hand shifted off his arm. ¡°Are you injured?¡± Hermes shook his head. No. He felt¡ª The adrenaline running through him made him feel¡ª He felt¡ª Powerf / / ul. Hermes carefully looked around the corner of the shuttle and saw the two figures gesturing to one another in conversation. One unfastened something on his belt. A black egg-shaped device with a single flashing red strobe. A memory of eggs came to Hermes unbidden: the first time he ever left the compound where he was created on Earth, the sleek black auto-SUV got egged by protestors waiting by the garage exit. They screamed obscenities and cried about how he shouldn¡¯t exist. Their furious, shrieking faces were distorted by the drooling yellow yolks streaming down the windows, and Hermes felt guilt for the first time. Dr. Wha had patted his arm companionably, though, and his anxiety abated after some time. ¡°¡ªMes. Hermes,¡± Cam hissed at his side. ¡°Get down. They¡¯re going to see you.¡± Hermes ducked back down and analyzed his memory. The device seemed familiar. What was it? It certainly wasn¡¯t a chicken¡¯s egg from Earth¡­ No, it was something else. Something far more sophisticated. ¡°Why were we attacked?¡± Lyh asked. ¡°We¡¯d already made contact with these people. This makes no sense.¡± ¡°We can figure that out when we¡¯re safely aboard Soter. Right now, we need a way to safety¡ª¡± A high-pitched whizz tipped Hermes off that something was coming. And his memory grabbed it. The black egg device was a bomb utilized by rebel groups on Earth and Dromeda. It was nicknamed the Scatterer. He grabbed Cam and snatched Lyh¡¯s arm and jumped as far as he could manage just as the bomb impacted their vessel. Flames licked at their feet as they fell away. An eruption of dust clouded them on all sides. There were distant shouts¡ªin English. English? Not Gacommon, the language most prominently spoken among the space races, but¡­ English, Earth¡¯s most common language? These people came from Earth, with illegal Earth tech. What were they doing on T-446? Hermes pushed himself to standing, pulling Cam and Lyh with him. ¡°We have to run,¡± he said. Cam¡¯s eyes were welled with tears but he nodded. His hair fell across his beautiful, soot-stained face, and Hermes distinctly understood the concept of brav// ery. brav¡¤er¡¤y /?br¨¡v(?)r¨¥/ If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. noun c// ourageous behavior or character . // . The smoke provided cover for a few precious minutes. There was a forest of rocks a quarter mile away. If they could reach it, it would provide ample shelter¡ªat least until Soter could respond to the disaster and deploy rescue. Lyh was slower than both of them, but Hermes kept him within arm¡¯s reach, ready to throw him forward if they were attacked again. ¡°Keep going,¡± he said. Lyh grunted in pain but didn¡¯t stop. Their feet pounded on the earth, kicking up dust from the tawny compacted ground. Distantly, there were shouts in English¡ª ¡°Shit. Get another. Get another one.¡± ¡°I see them!¡± ¡°I see him!¡± ¡°Fucking¡ªdo something!¡± A now-familiar whizz sounded in the air behind them. Hermes turned. With perfect, inhuman speed, he raised his hand, and before he could even see the Scatterer, he caught it. His mind wasn¡¯t able to keep up with the speed with his body. He pitched himself backwards, arm flexed, and threw the bomb back at the two Earthlings. It arched through the air, red light flashing more and more rapidly¡ª It exploded upon impact against the attackers, sending a spray of red through the air above the thick black smoke. A beat of silence passed; only the sound of crackling fire and a howling of wind surrounded them. ¡°Holy fucking shit,¡± Cam finally said. ¡°You caught it.¡± ¡°You threw it,¡± Lyh gasped. ¡°What was that, 200 feet? Is that even possible? Those guys had a launcher to be able to do that.¡± ¡°And you hit them with it,¡± Cam added. ¡°What the fuck?¡± Hermes¡¯ hand was frozen midair where he released the bomb. He looked at his fingers, black with grime, and blinked once or twice. His brain seemed to come back online¡ªlike a computer. Maybe he was more robotic than he gave himself credit for. He turned to Cam and Lyh. ¡°Yes,¡± was all he could think to say. Cam laughed, the sound near-hysterical. Hermes looked to the other plumes of smoke on the horizon. ¡°I need to go help the other vessels.¡± Lyh¡¯s eyes bulged. Cam pointed to the rock tree forest. ¡°Go there, Lyh, and try to connect to Soter. Hermes and I¡ª¡± Hermes took a step towards Cam. ¡°No. It is not safe. You should take cover with Haasit.¡± Cam continued, ignoring Hermes entirely as he spoke to Lyh, ¡°We¡¯re gonna go find other survivors. Okay? You have a radio, right?¡± Lyh looked between the two of them and eventually nodded. ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ll try to transmit a message. Be careful.¡± Hermes¡¯ eyes narrowed as Cam started to walk towards one distant wreckage. ¡°I am technically your superior,¡± Hermes pointed out. ¡°You can technically suck my dick,¡± Cam said. Hermes nearly tripped over his own feet and Cam added, ¡°Keep up. We need to move quickly.¡± Hermes didn¡¯t want to put Cam in danger¡ªand having him there, hurt and determined, made something tighten within Hermes¡¯ chest. Together, they marched forward.
They found her alive. Dr. Wha jerked backwards when Hermes and Cam appeared at the edge of her vision and then she sagged in relief as tears fell from her shiny, black eyes. ¡°You¡¯re alive,¡± she cried, pushing off the ground to stand and limping with one leg covered in blood. She picked up speed, running towards them, but Hermes rushed forward instead and caught her. ¡°You should not walk,¡± he said, heart thundering in his throat. ¡°You are injured.¡± ¡°My leg¡¯s broken,¡± she said, teeth gritted. ¡°No one else¡ª¡± A sob broke her sentence in two. ¡°No one else made it.¡± Her shuttle was in many pieces, strewn over a half mile radius. Hermes cast a look over the landscape, if only to confirm there were no other survivors crawling from the wreckage. Dr. Wha sagged in his arms. ¡°Qhat, you don¡¯t look good¡ª¡± Cam said, leaning in to look into her face. ¡°I¡¯ve just lost blood,¡± she said. Her eyes shuttered closed and open. I don¡¯t know if I can make it, she thought. Hermes jerked back. ¡°Dr. Wha¡ª¡± his hands tightened into her middle. ¡°Tell me what to do.¡± ¡°Nothing. I¡¯ll be okay, Hermes.¡± She reached out and gently patted the side of his face. She winced. ¡°Sorry. I got blood on you.¡± Hermes carefully sat her against a piece of rubble. ¡°I need to apply a tourniquet for your injury,¡± he said, examining her. He then began to search the area for broken straps¡ªanything to tie off the injury. Cam rushed to remove his shirt. He snagged one corner with his teeth and pulled until the white fabric ripped in half. ¡°Here. Here,¡± he kneeled down, handing it to Hermes. ¡°Just tell me what to do¡ª¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Hermes said before pulling the fabric taut. He wrapped it around Wha¡¯s still-bleeding leg, working quickly. He studied this many times before now, but had never experienced real-world application. His hands felt distant¡ªremoved from himself¡ªas he went through the motions. ¡°Is this alright?¡± he asked, testing the knot he tied. ¡°That looks great,¡± Dr. Wha said. ¡°Nice and tight.¡± She exhaled a slow breath, eyes closing. ¡°I hope Adam hurries up.¡± ¡°Captain Shear is undoubtedly enroute right now,¡± Hermes said. Dr. Wha huffed out a quiet laugh. Hermes looked up to Cam. Their eyes met and Cam gave him a soft, encouraging smile, and Hermes thought: maybe he would make it out of this after all. ¡°Look,¡± Dr. Wha said. ¡°I think¡ªthere¡¯s a chance that this whole thing¡ª¡± a tear slid down her face again, voice hoarse. ¡°I think it¡¯s my fault. I was trying to take care of it alone and that was¡ªso stupid of me, but, I saw how much you were trying to¡ª¡± The whizz of the Scatterer came unexpectedly and Hermes wasn¡¯t fast enough. He reached for Cam and Dr. Wha and tried to throw them forward, away from the impact, but it was too close, and the force of the explosion sent them flying, flames licking up his side. The pain was, in that moment, all-encompassing. He was injured¨Cgravely. He had never been hurt like this and it was sending strange, unnatural signals through him. It was like his brain was blinking online and off, grappling with a new¡ªunwelcome¡ªsensation. The three of them landed hard, a few feet apart, against the hard and brittle earth. Cam immediately coughed in pain, groaning, but there was no sound from Dr. Wha. There was only terrible silence. Hermes pushed himself up, gritting his teeth against the terrible smell of his own burnt flesh, and crawled over to her. Her chest rose and fell in a breath and he scrambled up to kneeling. She was alive, even if she was silent¡ª Embedded in her neck was a large white piece of shrapnel, the size of a dinner plate, cut through her throat from one end to the next. Blood gushed from the wound and her mouth opened, closed, opened again. ¡°Dr. Wha,¡± Hermes gasped, hands shaking as he reached towards her. Her eyes met his, black to black. She choked one soft, pained sound, and her trembling stopped. Everything stopped. Hermes touched the side of her face, but her eyes didn¡¯t move, and her chest didn¡¯t heave, and her hands were now still at her side. I love you, she thought as she died, and I¡¯m so sorry. ¡°Dr, Wha,¡± he s. / aid a// gain. A //ll of the keys crashed t//. ogether in a broken //broke. n discordant scream and that s// ong; that familiar, agonizing song drowned e// verything around him // ¡°Please,¡± came a distant, pleading cry. ¡°Hermes, please. Please stand up. Please. We have to move¡ªwe have to move, the smoke¡¯s clear¡ª¡± Cam¡¯s hands pulled at him. This time when the whizz of the Scatterer cut through the air, it was Cam that threw them backward, safely out of its path, saving them both. When Hermes looked up, he saw Cam standing bloodied, shirtless, hair loose around his face. Beautif//ul. beau¡¤ti¡¤ful /?byo?od?f?l/ adjective pleasing the senses or mind. Cam turned to face something¡ªsomeone¡ªand Hermes turned his head to see the assailants walking towards them. Cam¡¯s fists tightened as blood dripped from his face. His head darted from side to side, like he was analyzing the environment, but Hermes couldn¡¯t shift around enough to look at whatever it was Cam saw. No, Hermes couldn¡¯t move at all. ¡°He¡¯s alive,¡± said one of the attackers. ¡°I don¡¯t think he can move,¡± said another. ¡°Look, he¡¯s all burned up.¡± ¡°So we can take him in, then.¡± ¡°Crazy. Absolutely crazy. We¡¯re going to get so much fucking money, Duc.¡± Cam laughed¡ªuntil it dissolved into a cough. ¡°If you want him, you¡¯ll have to come get him,¡± he said in English, his Midwestern accent new, unique, and pleasant across Hermes¡¯ blinking consciousness. ¡°And I¡¯m not fucking moving.¡± ¡°Oh yeah? You¡¯re gonna stop us?¡± Cam took a step back. ¡°Yeah. Come get me,¡± he said, gesturing them forward. ¡°Come on.¡± The attacker took another step forward, cackling, and his accomplice rushed to him and said, ¡°Wait, Duc, I think those cracks are unst¡ª¡± The earth caved in. The world shifted until Hermes saw the sky. Then, nothing. Loss We¡¯re going to die, Cam thought as the sinkhole appeared. Good. Better than the alternative. Cam led the assailants to walk right into the caving, shifted earth and made peace with the end. He knew that their bombs had compromised some of the terrain on T-446. Cam could see the cracks and the shifting dust, and because he memorized the mission brief, he knew that T-446 had pockets of hollow earth. They were all going to fall to their deaths because that was better than them taking Hermes. Cam fell and fell and fell. He blindly grabbed towards Hermes, holding him close as the sand poured around them. They landed on sand below, which cushioned the fall. Cam sprained an ankle, a pop that failed to register in his rush of adrenaline, but he was still alive. The attackers weren¡¯t as fortunate in their landing. Cam could hear one of them choking in pain nearby¡ªuntil, finally, silence fell upon them. Cam wrapped his arms around Hermes, who didn¡¯t move¡ªbut he was warm. Alive. His eyes were shut, and blood sluggishly spilled from a cut in his forehead. It must have happened when the ground caved in. Cam held a hand to the wound, but it continued to bleed. He shifted to hold Hermes¡¯ shoulders and head sideways in his lap, still ignorant to his own injury, and stubbornly pressed against the gash. Cam¡¯s belated pain began to drift in as the shock wore off, but he could do nothing but sit there, unmoving, breathing through the hurt. He focused on Hermes, instead. He did so for hours and hours. Presumably. Cam didn¡¯t have a method for telling time except for the blue sky above fading to red, then pink, then black. Night was cold. Shivering, he hunched over Hermes and, eventually, began to whisper. ¡°I¡¯m glad you made me visit the Training Quarters so much. I¡¯d probably be dead right now without this bonus stamina. I mean, I¡¯m gonna die anyway, I guess? I don¡¯t think they¡¯re gonna be able to find us down here. I¡¯m too hurt to walk. You¡¯re probably dying on top of me right now. Are you?¡± His voice went tiny. Tears overwhelmed him, dripping from his cheeks onto Hermes¡¯ chest below. ¡°Please don¡¯t die. I can¡¯t watch someone else die.¡± Qhathiren¡¯s face and the way her whole body shuddered as she died were seared into Cam¡¯s mind. He sobbed quietly. A few hours later, he mumbled, ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯re bleeding as much. Hopefully, that¡¯s a good thing. I¡¯m gonna be an optimist here, in this hole in the ground. You¡¯re gonna pull through.¡± He was so thirsty. He was hungry, too, but the thirst was the thing that got to him. His throat was so dry that it hurt almost as much as his ankle. ¡°They built you different, right?¡± His voice got quieter. ¡°I bet you can go a week without water. Maybe two.¡± Cam¡¯s hands were crusted with blood. He tried to wipe them off on his pants, but the fabric was just as filthy. He sighed, exhausted, and placed his forehead against Hermes¡¯. ¡°I can¡¯t even go a day without water. I feel like shit,¡± Cam said. ¡°I¡¯m just not very strong. Hazard Recognition¡­ Who was I fucking kidding?¡± He snorted. After some more time, he opened his eyes and examined Hermes¡¯ face from far too close. It was probably inappropriate, but¡ªwell, who was going to know? Hermes¡¯ lashes were dark and straight, and his skin was so smooth. Such a pretty shade of blue¡­ The ridge on his forehead and nose were so uniquely defined. Medese in style but still quintessentially Hermes. ¡°You¡¯re so handsome,¡± Cam mumbled. He dropped his head down, once again. ¡°No wonder I had a crush on you.¡± Dawn came and, shortly thereafter, distant shouts. ¡°If there¡¯s someone alive down there, I need you to yell for me because these readings are far from accurate,¡± came a distant call. Cam gasped, jerking backward, looking up. ¡°Hello?¡± came the voice again. ¡°This is the Search and Rescue of Stellarship Soter. Is anyone alive?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Cam croaked. He raised his hands, fanning them towards the air, and screamed, ¡°Yes! Yes, we¡¯re down here! We¡¯re down here!¡± Some incomprehensible shouts came from above, and several figures appeared in the sky. Cam was told to stay still¡ªlike he had a choice¡ª The next few minutes were a blur either from Cam¡¯s exhaustion or the frantic way the rescuers repelled down and retrieved him and Hermes. When they were back on the surface of T-446, Cam twisted in the hands of the man carrying him, reaching towards Hermes. ¡°I can¡¯t leave him¡ª¡± he said. He knew he sounded manic, but he couldn¡¯t stop. The rescuers helped him up again and Cameron begged, ¡°Please, he¡¯s hurt. His head¡ªhe hit his head¡ª¡± ¡°Ollis, he¡¯ll be okay. We¡¯ve got him. Calm down.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave him,¡± Cam said, and he was crying, and he didn¡¯t realize¡ª ¡°Sedate him,¡± someone said. Cam gasped. ¡°No, you don¡¯t need to sedate him. He¡¯s already unconscious.¡± His hand curled around Hermes¡¯ arm as the group tried to pull them apart. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about Hermes, Cam.¡± There was an amused snort from the rescuers. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. And then black.
It// it is not// / a malfunction. The combination of //. Vn an// Vn, Tarotan, Medese, and Earthling physiology meant he had telepath/// ic Telepathic capabilities. A/ a touch telepath. An ability discovered only while under duress but perhaps an ability that c// ould be us//eful? ? .// /
The medbay was dark and quiet. Hermes awoke and the gentle presence of sleep was still pulling at him, beckoning him to close his eyes once more, but something felt¡ªoff. Different. He shifted in bed and zeroed in on the change: a lack of pain. He¡¯d been writhing with it when he first awoke aboard Soter. Now, he felt¡ª He was warm, resting on something soft, and it was quiet. He sat up, blinking in the darkness. He was inside one of the recovery pods: a small room with one wall of clear plexiglass to see out into the rest of the Medbay. There were two doctors at the side of another pod, and Hermes knew without looking that Cam would be there. He stood up, pushed open the clear glass door, and stepped out. The quiet sounds of the doctors working and the various beeps and chimes of instruments became crystal clear. He approached the pod and saw Cam¡¯s pale profile, nearly glowing in dark. ¡°Is he hurt?¡± The doctors both jumped. ¡°Hermes!¡± Dr. Sam Perriand, a human physician and expert in internal medicine, rushed over, lifting one of his instruments for a scan. ¡°How do you feel? Any stress on your systems?¡± ¡°I feel fine,¡± he said. He meant it. ¡°Well, you¡¯re high as a kite right now,¡± Dr. Alise Hang said, her own instrument at the ready. ¡°So I¡¯m sure that¡¯s helping.¡± Hermes blinked at her. ¡°Cameron Ollis. Is he hurt?¡± He approached the pod. ¡°He¡¯s sleeping,¡± Perriand said. ¡°He sprained an ankle and had gashes along his thighs. He¡¯ll make a full recovery. He was a little dehydrated and hungry, too. You were out there for about thirty hours.¡± ¡°Can I go inside¡ª¡± When he started to reach for the door, Perriand stopped him, his warm brown hand tight on Hermes¡¯ arm. ¡°Let him rest. He¡¯ll be awake soon; you can see him then.¡± We just got him to fall asleep without a sedative, for goodness sake. They¡¯re both absolutely mental, Perriand thought. Hermes looked down at where Perriand held his arm. He looked into the man¡¯s deeply set eyes behind a pair of round spectacles. He had a severe look about him¡ªhigh cheekbones and a mouth framed in the wrinkles of his age. A no-nonsense sort of doctor¡ª He and Dr. Wha hadn¡¯t gotten along very well. Dr. Hang, however, was one of Wha¡¯s prot¨¦g¨¦s, and they were good friends back on Earth¨Caccording to Dr. Wha. Alise had been a young intern at the Hermes Project a few years before Hermes had his physical form. After they took up station on Soter, Hang seemed to follow Wha around, starry-eyed and hanging on her every word. Hermes assumed the fact they were both Tarotan women working in bio-sciences helped establish a kinship between them. Hermes pulled his arm away from Perriand, nodding in agreement to leave Cam alone for now. ¡°The other survivors. What of them?¡± Perriand looked grim as ever, and Hang, usually bright-eyed and enthusiastic, seemed similarly muted. ¡°A handful of our crew made it home,¡± Hang said. ¡°Lyh Haasit said you saved him.¡± ¡°Is he well?¡± ¡°He was discharged pretty quickly. Just a few bruises.¡± ¡°That is good.¡± ¡°We were able to recover¡­¡± Hang trailed off, eyes darting away from Hermes. Perriand stepped in. ¡°We found Qhathiren¡¯s body. She¡¯s going to get a proper Tarotan burial as outlined in her will. But she¡¯s also going to get a service here with everyone else. We couldn¡¯t find most of the people killed on T-446, so it¡¯ll be a symbolic¡­gesture.¡± ¡°Yes, many died before we reached the planet,¡± Hermes said, voice sounding distant to himself. ¡°Hermes, I¡¯m¡ª¡± Hang¡¯s voice was watery, uneven. He met her stare, confused. A tear rolled down her cheek. ¡°Qhathiren was¡ªshe was really special. I¡¯m so sorry for your loss.¡± His loss? Was it his loss? The world blinked into gray, then color, then gray again. I love you, she thought as she died, and I¡¯m so sorry. Hermes stood motionless before Hang as she cried until, without warning, he collapsed to his knees. His legs were weak, and his heart was tight¡ªagonizingly tight¡ªinside his chest. He didn¡¯t understand how. He wasn¡¯t injured. His wounds were healed. But he hurt. The pain bled from him into the air, invisible. He sobbed. A hand came down, pressed between his shoulder blades, and stroked his spine until his cries faded to silence. ¡°Let¡¯s go lay back down for a bit, alright?¡± Perriand offered, continuing to pat him comfortingly. Distantly, he heard Hang hiccup. She was crying somewhere else, feigning privacy behind a desk. Hermes stood up on weak legs and allowed Perriand to guide him back to the recovery pod and into bed. ¡°Drink this,¡± he said, handing Hermes a thin white liquid in a plastic cup with a plastic straw. ¡°It¡¯ll help with your healing. The physical part of it, anyway.¡± ¡°Thamk¡­¡± Hermes took the glass, furrowed his brow, and tried again. ¡°Thank you. Oh.¡± That made his distant light-headedness make more sense. ¡°I am under the influence of drugs.¡± ¡°Yes. As Hang said. You aren¡¯t feeling any effects of your injuries because we¡¯ve given you some, uh¡­ medicinal relief.¡± Hermes pressed a hand to his sore, hollow heart. Perriand sighed. ¡°That¡¯ll take a while longer to recover. Drink.¡± He pointed at the cup. Hermes, dutifully, drank the whole beverage and handed it back empty. ¡°Great. Now, sleep.¡± He did. He dreamed he was standing back on Earth, staring at the stars from the balcony off his room within the facility he called home. But the stars were faded and distant. He could barely see them with his naked eye. There was a great greenish pollution casting a fog between him and the vast space above. He reached towards the sky, and his hand connected with his piano. He was inside his room on Soter, seated at his piano, and the song he¡¯d begun to write fell from his fingertips. ¡°You have to play to the end,¡± said Dr. Wha, ¡°Or we¡¯re not going to make it.¡± His fingers fumbled. She clutched the side of the piano, voice tinged in panic. There was blood on her face. ¡°Hermes, you have to keep playing.¡± He tried, and failed, and tried again, fingers smashing into the keys uselessly. Even the notes he should have hit weren¡¯t right¡ªeverything was off, the key incorrect, the strings out of tune. ¡°I have not finished this composition,¡± he said, breathless. ¡°Dr. Wha, I am trying.¡± ¡°Please,¡± she begged, and tears filled her blackish eyes. ¡°I love you, and I¡¯m so sorry.¡± He heard the whizz of the Scatterer and as it landed upon the keys of his piano¡ª He awoke with a gasp. Only You When Cam was eight, he broke his arm. It was summer vacation in his hometown outside of Minneapolis¡ªback on Earth¡ªand his older brother, Daniel, showed him a shortcut to the neighbor¡¯s yard. They had to squeeze in behind the fence and the shed containing pool equipment, climb an overhanging limb from the big maple tree, and jump down onto some lidded trash bins. Daniel landed smoothly atop his bin and bounced down to the ground and turned to Cam. ¡°Just jump down. Then you¡¯re done.¡± The drop seemed very high to Cam at the time, but he was still young and most everything seemed big back then. But if Daniel could do it¡ª Cam held his breath and jumped. The trash bin he chose had a weaker, plastic lid, and it folded easily under Cam¡¯s weight. Whump. Cam¡¯s arm caught the corner of the bin on the way down and he heard the snap more strongly than he felt it. But¡ªhe did feel it, even in shock. He didn¡¯t scream. He tried to walk it off, but Daniel was in a full panic. He carried Cam¡ªsomething he hadn¡¯t done in years at that point¡ªall the way back home, frantically pounding on their front door until their mom answered, and then he insisted they rush to the emergency room. All the while, Cam said: ¡°It¡¯s okay. It doesn¡¯t really hurt. I¡¯m okay.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a brave boy,¡± said the ER nurse. He managed a smile for her, though the pain began to pull at him, making it hard to talk, breathe, or think. Daniel was crying silently at his side, and kept whispering sorry, and Cam kept saying it was fine. His arm had been broken in three places. On T-446, Cam¡¯s legs had been sliced into a dozen pieces. Soter¡¯s medical technology was fairly advanced, which meant he had to undergo an automated procedure to stitch his skin back into place and then wear a pair of fitted braces for six weeks. He would be good as new after that. The pain was minimal. ¡°The biggest inconvenience you¡¯ll find is that your legs are gonna go weak, and you¡¯ll have to sit. Or lie down.¡± Perriand looked from the digipad he held, over to Cam, and back again. ¡°Avoid vigorous activity. Shear¡¯s giving you two months paid leave, so I advise you lounge in bed and watch television for the whole recovery period.¡± ¡°I feel fine, though,¡± said Cam. Perriand rolled his eyes. ¡°Wear yourself out then.¡± Cam couldn¡¯t help the laugh that followed. When Perriand shot him a glare, he whispered, ¡°Sorry.¡± Perriand simply walked away and Cam muffled another laugh. He was moved from a recovery pod onto one of the temporary beds in the middle of the medbay, prepared for discharge later that day. The medical staff wanted to make sure all the numbing drugs from the procedure were fully out of his system; drunken shenanigans were not part of his recovery plan. Luckily for everyone else, he was sober. Unfortunately for Cam, sobriety meant his mind was free enough to continually pull at his memory of T-446. If it wasn¡¯t recalling the shuttle tearing in half, it was witnessing the sight of Qhathiren¡¯s slack face. If it wasn¡¯t Qhat, it was the men approaching him, gun drawn. If it wasn¡¯t the men, it was him sitting over Hermes, crying and begging that he wake up. Cam shook his head. Jittery energy made him toss off the blanket on his lap and stand. He could walk a few laps around the medbay; work off some energy. Test the new leg braces. They were especially tight around the knee, but Perriand said they¡¯d get loose over time. So he walked. Stiffly. Not fast. Not far. Just enough to keep himself from smelling fire. He made it two laps around the nursing bot and was halfway back to his bed when he saw Hermes step out from the recovery pod. Cam¡¯s breath caught and he froze in place. Hermes was finally awake. He¡¯d been sedated¡ªapparently a common medical practice on Soter¡ªand Cam was certain he wouldn¡¯t get to see Hermes again until much later. Perhaps not even until after all of the funeral services. Hermes lifted his head and immediately pinned Cam with an unreadable look. Cam offered a small smile in return. He took a step forward and winced as the weakness Perriand warned him about racketed up one leg. He used the desk at his side to keep himself upright and laughed quietly. Hermes rushed forward. Cam lifted his head, beaming, and said, ¡°It¡¯s alright; this is normal. I¡¯m f¡ª¡± Hermes pulled Cam into his arms, one hand sliding into the small of his back, the other sliding into his very greasy hair, and kissed him. Cam didn¡¯t comprehend it, at first. He was dipped back, weight supported entirely by Hermes, and Hermes¡¯ lips were pressed to his own. Soft, warm, and¡ª Hermes kissed him. Cam¡¯s hands wheeled in the air once before grabbing onto Hermes¡¯ arms for support. He didn¡¯t get a chance to tilt his head and kiss him back. Hermes pulled away, hands still holding him. ¡°Oh,¡± Said Cam, dumbly. ¡°You saved my life,¡± Hermes said, eventually. His voice was rough with sleep. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°If that¡¯s how you thank people, everyone on the ship is going to start doing you some real favors,¡± Cam replied, mind filled with the fuzzy sound of static. ¡°No one else.¡± Hermes¡¯ bold brows pulled close. ¡°Only you.¡± Cam¡¯s mouth opened and closed. Like a fish. A very brainless fish. Why was Hermes thanking him? ¡°I¡ªI didn¡¯t do anything. I just laid there for two days¡ª¡± Cam¡¯s hands tightened on Hermes¡¯ arms, suddenly aware of how close they were standing¡ªchest to chest, noses nearly touching. ¡°Hermes, that was your first kiss.¡± Hermes was still for a moment before nodding, once, in assent. ¡°Shit. Hermes, I didn¡¯t mean to take your first kiss¡ª¡± ¡°You took nothing.¡± Hermes didn¡¯t leave much room to question it, hands tightening where they held Cam. ¡°I wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you again.¡± Cam¡¯s round, blue eyes searched Hermes¡¯ inky black stare. Eventually, his kiss-stunned brain began to function again. ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying. This is¡ªwhat¡ªtrauma bonding. Or something. You don¡¯t think of me that way. Remember? Before the mission?¡± Cameron swallowed hard, shaking Hermes a bit. ¡°You aren¡¯t into me like that.¡± ¡°I do think of you like that. You are very smart, very kind, and very beautiful. You may not agree, but this is how you are. And I would very much like to kiss you again.¡± This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Cam felt weak. He wasn¡¯t sure he could blame his legs for that. He tapped Hermes¡¯ arms until he stepped back, and once he was standing on his own again, Cam cleared his throat. Had Hermes imprinted on him like a duckling? Is this what Qhat hoped he would help with¡ªin an official capacity? ¡°You hesitate to accept me,¡± Hermes said, voice gone small. Cam sighed. ¡°No¡ªit¡¯s not¡ªI mean, you¡¯re perfect. Like, really perfect.¡± It was almost stupid how perfect. ¡°I also think you¡¯re¡ªuh¡ªwhat was it? Smart and beautiful.¡± ¡°Yes, I know.¡± ¡°So th¡­¡± Cam paused. ¡°Wait, what?¡± ¡°I know that you think I am smart and beautiful.¡± Cam¡¯s eyes narrowed. It wasn¡¯t like Hermes to be¡­cocky. A creeping fear began to crawl into Cam¡¯s belly. An unsettled feeling, like something terrible approached. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°While we were on T-446, undergoing severe tests of stress, I appear to have connected with an ability to read minds.¡± Cam was a fish again. He couldn¡¯t think of what to say, which was fine, because Hermes continued. ¡°I believe the brain damage I suffered during the fall would have killed me, or at least resulted in cerebral death, had I been there without you.¡± ¡°You were¡ªbrain dead?¡± Cam¡¯s voice was tinny in fear. ¡°I would have been, yes. But because of my ability to read your thoughts and your willingness to hold me, I was able to recover my mental and physiological connections.¡± ¡°Uh-huh.¡± ¡°It was during this time that I gained an understanding that you find me attractive, on a physical and emotional scale.¡± Cam said, ¡°You can read my thoughts?¡± ¡°When we touch.¡± ¡°Did you tell Perriand about this?¡± ¡°I have not had the opportunity.¡± This was delusion. Dangerous delusion. Cam hesitantly held out his hand to test. Hermes took it into his own and winced like he¡¯d been pricked by a needle at their touch. Cam chewed his lip in thought. ¡°What am I thinking?¡± he asked, finally. Hermes looked into his face, considering. ¡°You think I am gravely hurt and that my telepathy is a delusion that will result in a slow death of my brain.¡± Cam¡¯s fingers tightened around Hermes¡¯. ¡°Okay. Alright. What number am I thinking?¡± ¡°Twenty-two.¡± ¡°What color?¡± ¡°Blue.¡± ¡°What is the square root of 643?¡± Hermes¡¯ head tilted. ¡°25.3574446662. That one was not in your mind.¡± ¡°No. Just making sure you can still do math, too.¡± Cam wasn¡¯t sure what this meant. Every correct answer was, truthfully, terrifying. Hermes could do something unheard of¡ªthe implications of his ability were extraordinary and far-reaching, and yet, all he wanted¡ª Was to kiss Cam? ¡°Yes,¡± said Hermes, patiently. ¡°I do.¡± Once more, Cam thought, throat tight. They could kiss once more. Hermes pulled Cam into his embrace and pressed their lips together. This time, Cam kissed back, bringing his hands to the side of Hermes¡¯ face, fingers combing into the short curled hairs that framed his high, angular cheekbones, and he tried not to think of the many ways that this could go terribly, heartbreakingly wrong. Dr. Perriand cleared his throat and the pair jumped apart. Cam flushed red, sweating, while Hermes looked like a sleepy disheveled mess. ¡°Good to see you¡¯re both awake and moving. That means I can discharge you all the sooner.¡± Perriand sighed. ¡°I¡¯m requiring bed rest in your quarters for at least the first twenty-four hours.¡± He approached, studying the digipad he held. He glanced up from what he had written, eyes narrowed, and added, ¡°In your separate quarters.¡± Cam wanted to crawl beneath the nearest desk, but Hermes was visibly confused, brows pinched. ¡°Why would we share quarters?¡± he asked. ¡°Has something happened?¡± A silence followed. And then Perriand snorted, dropping his hands to his side. ¡°I guess nothing has happened yet, no. I¡¯ll get the paperwork for your discharge.¡± He stalked away, but not before shooting Cam a very pointed ¡®this is all your fault and if you hurt the medical personnel¡¯s baby we will hunt you down and poke you unendingly with a syringe¡¯ sort of look. Cam simply rubbed at his face with both hands.
Even without his newfound ability, Hermes could tell that Cam was terrified. It was written in the way his pulse fluttered as he looked at Hermes¡¯ hands and in his hesitation to stand nearby. Even on the simple walk back to the staff deck of the ship, Cam was jumpy, and every sound made him freeze like prey in the clutches of a predator. When they reached the divergent hallway that led to their respective sleeping quarters, Cam stared down at his feet, chewing his bottom lip. The white overhead light of Soter made his fair hair glow and the silence surrounding them was framed by the gentle hum of engines a few decks below. Hermes wasn¡¯t sure what to say. He just wanted to kiss Cam again. He kept looking at Cam¡¯s lips. He was inexperienced¡ªnot good at it, truthfully¡ªbut he wanted to learn. The second kiss, the one where Cam kissed back, was the sort of experience that made Hermes feel truly alive. He wanted to feel alive like that again and again. Finally, Cam looked up, his pale face flushed a bit, and Hermes realized he was staring inappropriately at Cam¡¯s mouth. Cam cleared his throat. ¡°Hermes, about the¡ª¡± he lifted his hands and wiggled his fingers. ¡°¡ªthis whole thing.¡± Hermes took a moment to interpret the wiggly fingers. Hands. Touch. Ah. ¡°My telepathic ability.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Cam leaned forward, voice quiet. ¡°I don¡¯t think you should tell anyone yet.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because we don¡¯t know what it means¡ªin the bigger picture, within the Hermes Program. No one knew you could do that and¡ªI think¡ªI think maybe we should wait until¡ª¡± Cam sighed. ¡°At least until after this all passes.¡± Hermes tilted his head. ¡°Do you believe my ability is¡­dangerous?¡± ¡°Dangerous? No. You are in danger. Those guys¡ªthe people who¡ª¡± Cameron swallowed hard. ¡°The people who attacked us on T-446. They mentioned turning you in for some reward, right?¡± Hermes¡¯ memory was fract//ured. He remembered seeing Cam standing there, bleeding, and beautiful. He blinked as Cam continued, ¡°I don¡¯t want people to take advantage of you.¡± ¡°I see.¡± It made sense; Hermes was already treated like a tool by some people. If he was able to display this new, unique power to the greater public, it¡¯s possible he would be exploited. Or hurt. ¡°We can¡ªno, we should figure it out after the dust settles.¡± Cam¡¯s hands wrung at the front of his shirt, little pale flashes of his belly visible when he twisted this way or that. Hermes, aware of his previous pointed stare, tried not to look too closely. ¡°Alright,¡± said Hermes. ¡°We will keep it between us.¡± Cam sighed in relief. ¡°Okay.¡± He took a step backward, to start his way home, and Hermes stepped towards him, magnetized. Cam blinked at him. ¡°We have to¡ª¡± He chewed his lip for a second again and shook his head. ¡°Dr. Perriand said we have to go to our different quarters.¡± ¡°Yes. I know.¡± Hermes forced himself to step back. ¡°I¡ª¡± Cam stepped forward and before Hermes knew what was happening, Cam stood up on the tips of his toes and pressed a kiss upon Hermes¡¯ cheek. ¡°Goodnight, Hermes.¡± He took off before Hermes could reply. He thought, in the brief moment his lips were upon Hermes¡¯ skin, that Hermes was devastatingly earnest and that he¡¯d be terrible at lying. Hermes couldn¡¯t disagree. He placed a hand upon the cheek that was kissed and walked back to his quarters alone. Once safely inside, he saw his piano, and his dream from the medbay came back unbidden. Keep playing. Though he was tired, confused, and alone, he still sat at his smooth black piano, and he started the composition again. This time, his heart hurt as he hit each note. The ivory keys felt icy cold beneath his touch. Every sound wrought a twinge of pain, like he was pressing upon a bruise. When he reached the end of his still unfinished song, he wasn¡¯t sure what to do next. He tapped a key. Tap, tap, ting. Composing music was meant to teach him how to express feelings, but his feelings were raw. Hurt. Impossible to express. He closed his eyes and saw . / . Dr. Wha¡¯s smile; the shuddering of her death. He couldn¡¯t separate the two // It made it hard to // . It made it hard to compose the sounds This song was famili//ar Wasn¡¯t it? All Thats Left Cam caught himself touching his lips repeatedly when he was back in his quarters alone. Waiting for the kettle to heat up, gently brushing his top lip. Reading the ship-wide bulletins on his digipad, thumb stroking his bottom lip. Showering, hand pressed to his mouth. Every time he realized he was doing it, he stopped, and groaned in guilty anguish. Hermes kissed him. Cam kissed him back. And he liked it. It wasn¡¯t unreasonable; Hermes was gorgeous. And smart and strong and now he had a superpower. He was way, way too good for Cam. Cam sighed as he toweled off his hair and stared at his sunken-eyed self in the bathroom mirror. He looked about as tired as he felt, which was a little unfair. He¡¯d slept for an entire day in the medbay. At least he didn¡¯t have any scarring from the mission; the only real lasting effect was red-rimmed eyes and the aching of his battered soul. A ping-pong sounded above Cam, notifying him that someone was at his door. When he answered it, Soen Tamn stood on the other side, holding a thermos. Cam was too surprised to say anything, so Soen spoke first, offering a questioning smile. ¡°I brought you soup.¡± He shook the thermos. Cam, still at a loss, stepped backwards to give Soen room to enter. He did, door closing behind him, and started to uncap the metal cylinder. ¡°I¡¯ve been in medbay a few times and their food sucks. I figured you could use something with some seasoning.¡± Cam realized he was starving. He nodded, stomach knotted in hunger. Soen poured the spicy red broth into the lid of the thermos, the dim window lighting highlighting his handsome aquiline profile from the side, and Cam¡¯s starvation extended to other areas of himself. He was hungry for touch, too. Soen handed him the cup. ¡°Here.¡± Cam took it, their fingers brushing, and his face filled with a bit of color as he drank the soup. It was a traditional Medese dish called solos. Full of iron, which was very good for both humans and Medese, and it tasted almost overwhelmingly of black pepper. It was soothing and warming at once. ¡°How are you doing?¡± Cam looked from the soup to Soen and was met with a concerned, careful stare. ¡°Worried about me still?¡± he mumbled¡ªtrying to be teasing, but instead he just sounded worn out. His voice was rough, so he cleared his throat, and forced himself to laugh self-deprecatingly. Soen took a step forward and slid a hand against the side of Cam¡¯s face. ¡°Only a little bit.¡± Cam reached up, hand cupping Soen¡¯s for a moment before pulling it away, off his person. He was touch-starved but tired. ¡°Cam. Let me worry about you for a few minutes.¡± Soen took the soup back¡ªthe bowl nearly emptied¡ªand fastened the thermos back together before placing it on Cam¡¯s kitchenette counter. He turned to Cam and pulled him into a stiff hug. ¡°Come on. Just for a few minutes.¡± Cam hesitated before all but melting into his embrace. This was dangerous, he knew, because Soen was gaining soft, sweet, romantic feelings Cam refused to return. That¡¯s not what he did. But god, it felt good to touch someone¡ª Soen hugged him close, his round, firm biceps tight against Cam¡¯s shoulders, and Soen sighed into his soft damp hair. ¡°You¡¯re gonna get hero recognition.¡± Cam snorted into Soen¡¯s neck. ¡°Really? For what?¡± ¡°For what? You saved Hermes.¡± The mention of Hermes¡¯ name sent a jolt through Cam and he wrenched backward in surprise. His hunger for touch had made him forget, for a moment, Hermes. He was starved¡ªhorny¡ªbecause of Hermes. Cam placed fingers upon his lips without thinking about it, mind awash with the memory of them kissing. ¡°Oh.¡± Soen followed the movement of his fingers and his eyes widened. Cam met his stare, jerked his hand away, but it was too late¡ª Soen got a grim and resigned look of recognition. ¡°Something happened with Hermes finally.¡± Finally? They¡¯d met two weeks ago. ¡°No, no.¡± Cam stepped towards him, heart hammering. ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± Soen stepped backwards. ¡°You don¡¯t need to explain anything, Cam. It¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡ª¡± he started. ¡°Stop,¡± Soen said, voice firm. Cam bit off the apology, bottom lip pinched between his teeth, and shrank a little into himself. After a beat, Soen continued, ¡°I had another reason to stop in, aside from¡­¡± He looked at the thermos, narrowed his eyes, and scoffed at his internal thoughts. Cam could only imagine. ¡°Look, I know how traumatizing something like this can be.¡± ¡°Kissing someone you shouldn¡¯t?¡± Soen raised an eyebrow. ¡°No. Being attacked on a mission.¡± Cam¡¯s face went bright glowing red. Of course. Soen Tamn, before Stellarship Soter, was a soldier, and had been part of an Earthguard attach¨¦ that was ambushed, kidnapped, and held at ransom on Dromeda, Soen¡¯s home planet. Cam didn¡¯t know details¡ªhe never asked. Discussing something like that was dark, and he and Soen were supposed to have a relationship that was built entirely on fun. Cam wasn¡¯t sure how much fun he would have ever again, with the trauma chasing him like a lurking ghost. And then Cam realized¡ªin this moment, chilled without Soen¡¯s touch¡ªthat Soen had been chased by the very same ghost and came out the other side laughing. Cam didn¡¯t know anyone who laughed as easily¡ªor loudly¡ªas Soen Tamn. Soen rubbed the Medese-typical ridge upon his forehead, like a headache was forming behind his eyes. ¡°I wanted to offer to train you in the combat quarter, when you feel up for it. Learning to fight is what helped me feel normal again.¡± Cam looked down at himself, thin and spindly, and thought about it. ¡°You want to train me?¡± ¡°Yeah. I was gonna offer the same thing to Hermes. We could all three train together.¡± He paused before laughing once; a bark of a sound. ¡°Of course, I had no idea you two¡­¡± ¡°We two did nothing,¡± Cam said, face filling with color again. ¡°I think training is a good idea.¡± ¡°Okay. Just let me know when you feel up for it.¡± Cam hugged his arms to himself. ¡°Soen, I just¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine, Cam.¡± It didn¡¯t feel fine. He felt like he hurt someone. He couldn¡¯t even meet Soen¡¯s eyes as he left and despite the soup and the heater humming to life inside his room, Cam felt very cold. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
Everything around Hermes was quiet until it wasn¡¯t. A day passed in silence except for the heating of his meals and the sound of his own breathing, which did little to fill the empty void of his quarters. But silence soon became a rare commodity. A ping-pong alert sound came from his door. Hermes answered it to see Adam Shear, captain of Stellarship Soter and, Hermes supposed, heartbroken lover of Dr. Wha. Shear¡¯s clean-shaven and his square jaw was set and determined. His hair was properly trimmed high and tight. His brown eyes were sharp, clear, and weren¡¯t tinged in the red Hermes associated with Earthling tears. Had Captain Shear cried over the loss like Hermes? Perhaps his tears had come and gone. Hermes wondered how long it would take for his own tears to go for good. If he had to guess, Hermes would say his captain was angry, not sad. Hermes bowed his head in respect and stepped backwards to allow Shear inside his quarters. ¡°Please, come in.¡± Shear marched in and when he saw Hermes¡¯ piano, his shoulders tightened. After a moment, he turned around to face Hermes again. ¡°How are you?¡± Hermes let the door swish shut and looked down to his palms, analyzing himself like he was used to doing. ¡°I have no pain from my injuries.¡± Captain Shear looked him up and down. ¡°I¡¯m giving you two months leave, but you can take longer.¡± Hermes considered it. ¡°I do not know what I would do with the time. Two months is¡ª¡± Too much? But Shear had been doing this for decades. Hermes trusted him. ¡°Adequate.¡± Shear looked out Hermes¡¯ window to the stars. ¡°We¡¯re holding the memorial service tomorrow at 0900 at the observatory. You don¡¯t have to come, but I would appreciate your presence.¡± ¡°I can go.¡± He didn¡¯t have work, after all. It would be his first time wearing his formals on the ship; what a terrible reason to wear the beautifully tailored black uniform. He thought he¡¯d be wearing it to a holiday celebration, or a formal diplomatic event, or to Dr. Wha and Captain Shear¡¯s wedding. Instead, a funeral. He wondered if Cam would go. ¡°Afterwards, in the afternoon, we¡¯re docking at Nemertes.¡± Nemertes¡ªa space station a few weeks away from Earth, close to planet Tarot. ¡°There¡¯ll be a Tarotan delegation there to collect Qhat.¡± Hermes felt his stomach bottom out, which made no sense. Dr. Wha was already dead. He¡¯d already lost her. But this meant she would be departing Soter for the last time. Without him. He was already lonely, but the idea of her leaving made him feel truly alone. ¡°I know,¡± said Shear, as if he were the one that could read minds. He sighed¡ªthe only sign of sadness Hermes had seen from him. He immediately righted the emotion back to a stiff professionalism, however, and continued, ¡°After that, we¡¯re meeting with Earthguard investigators. They¡¯re boarding the ship to determine what went wrong with T-446. There are only six of you that returned. They¡¯re going to grill you about everything.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± said Hermes. ¡°I need you to be honest with them,¡± said Shear. ¡°I¡ª¡± Hermes almost said that he would be honest, but Cam¡¯s voice inside his head stopped him short. He had to lie. For his own safety. ¡°Oh.¡± Captain Shear¡¯s sharp, pepper-colored brow raised high. ¡°Oh?¡± Hermes looked away. ¡°I will be honest to the best of my ability.¡± ¡°Hermes.¡± Hermes still didn¡¯t look. ¡°Hermes.¡± Slowly, he turned his black gaze back to Shear, and tried not to shrink under his accusatory stare. ¡°Explain yourself.¡± Shear clapped a hand to Hermes¡¯ shoulder. A sharp pain cut through his head, between his ears¡ªa sensation that now happened every time he touched another person. It was growing more painful with every encounter, but he forced himself to relax, until the pain ebbed away. Shear didn¡¯t seem to notice and said, ¡°I don¡¯t think anyone¡¯s told you this before, but you look like her, sometimes.¡± ¡°Like who?¡± ¡°Qhat.¡± Hermes scrunched his face in thought. ¡°I do?¡± Obviously Dr. Wha had no blood relation to Him. Hermes¡¯ genetic makeup was a sequence entirely fabricated by the scientists and doctors working on the program. In a way, he looked like all Tarotans, all Medese, all Vn, and all Earthlings. ¡°Whenever she was hiding something, she¡¯d have that exact look. The guilty¡ªpensive sort of stare.¡± She was so pretty and I¡¯ll never see her again, Shear thought. Hermes is all I have left of her. Hermes¡¯ breath caught as his memory worked without fragmenting into pain and he recalled what Dr. Wha had said before she died. ¡°Captain, that was exactly it.¡± He remembered her crying on T-446, claiming the assault was her fault. ¡°Dr. Wha felt guilty. She said, before she died, that the attack was because of her. Her final words¡ª¡± It was suddenly hard to speak. Shear¡¯s hand tightened on Hermes¡¯ shoulder. ¡°You were there,¡± he said, sounding¡ªsad. Resigned. ¡°You were there when she died.¡± Hermes nodded. ¡°I didn¡¯t know. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°You had no control over the situation,¡± Hermes said. ¡°Tell me what she said.¡± ¡°She said she was sorry.¡± ¡°Sorry¡­¡± Shear¡¯s hand dropped and he turned, looking back to the stars. ¡°Do you know what she meant?¡± ¡°I am uncertain.¡± He turned back to Hermes. ¡°What else did she say?¡± ¡°She was sorry. She did not want to involve me. She blamed herself.¡± ¡°Do you think you can write all this down for the Earthguard when they arrive?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°This¡¯ll help.¡± ¡°Cam was there as well,¡± Hermes said. Shear looked surprised. ¡°Ollis?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Understood. We¡¯ll get to the bottom of this. Thank you for telling me.¡± Hermes realized, then, that he¡¯d gotten away with a lie. It was a lie by omission, but a lie nonetheless. Captain Shear still had no clue about Hermes¡¯ new telepathic ability. But he didn¡¯t feel relief or satisfaction¡ªno, he felt¡ª Somehow, he felt even more alone. And after Captain Shear left, the bustling activity began. A delivery of his pressed suit, an invitation to speak at the memorial, a rehearsal of the event. Hermes was asked to decide on the hors d¡¯oeuvres (a puffed pastry called albe, a Tarotan classic, and small savory cheesecakes with Dr. Wha¡¯s favorite chili topping). The day went on into night and he found himself only able to sleep a few hours before being awoken with more requests and letters of condolences from his coworkers and flowers¡ª The Earthlings on Soter continually sent flowers. His room, eventually, was crowded with them. Fragrant and sweet. He was certain the gardening quarter on the top deck of the ship was picked clean. The endless parade of activity continued on and on, noisy and demanding and sad, until, after the memorial, a small pale hand grabbed his own unexpectedly. The familiar stabbing pain racketed through his brain at the touch, which meant he couldn¡¯t resist as he was hauled forcibly into the janitor¡¯s closet. He had been on the way to the Caf. ¡°Hi.¡± Hermes nearly collapsed at the sound of Cam''s voice. ¡°Hello.¡± Hermes reached for him before he could think better of it. Cam pulled him into an incredibly welcome hug, and Hermes placed his cheek upon Cam¡¯s soft velvet hair. He smelled like flowers. Hermes found an unexpected comfort in knowing that Cam too was inundated with the floral condolences from the crew and smiled softly into the crown of his head. They stood there for some time, simply holding one another in comfortable¡ªand now rare¡ªsilence. Hermes appreciated it more than ever before. ¡°Go figure. You¡¯re good at hugging, too,¡± Cam eventually said, voice muffled into Hermes¡¯ collarbone. You¡¯re just good at everything, he continued in his mind. ¡°Mm,¡± was all Hermes replied, basking in the lightheaded relief of feeling less alone. ¡°I¡¯m tired,¡± Cam mumbled. I can¡¯t sleep. I just keep seeing you, hurt, dying on my lap. ¡°I could fall asleep standing up like this if we don¡¯t move.¡± ¡°Sleep, then.¡± He meant it; he¡¯d hold Cam there, if it would help. ¡°No time.¡± Cam laughed and finally pulled back, stepping backward. ¡°Your eulogy was beautiful. The way you speak Tarotan is very¡ª¡± Sexy, his mind whispered, hand slipping from Hermes¡¯ arm on that last thought. ¡°¡ªpoised.¡± Hermes felt the corner of his mouth tilt up. ¡°Thank you.¡± The word sexy rang between his ears like a high note from a very pleasant song. ¡°Are you being interrogated by the Earthguard later today?¡± Hermes nodded. ¡°Yes. I already spoke with Shear.¡± Cam¡¯s curious look turned to one of worry. Hermes raised a hand. ¡°It is alright. I simply spoke of Dr. Wha¡¯s final sentiments. He does not know of my telepathy.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Cam sighed, visibly relieved. ¡°Okay. We should get back. They¡¯ll be looking for you first, probably.¡± ¡°I want to stay here with you.¡± Cam¡¯s bright, glowing smile was impossible to argue against, so when he said, ¡°We can¡¯t do that,¡± Hermes simply nodded. He let Cam take his hand¡ªtrying not to jerk against the stab of pain¡ªand together, they left the closet. When they reached the Caf doors, Cam unlinked their fingers, and Hermes waded into the crowd once more, palm warmed. Investigations Though Cam attended Earthguard¡¯s academy in secondary school during his late teens, and his entire family had been considered Earthguard Elite for five generations, his sentiments towards the military-slash-scientific establishment were ambivalent at best. Earth was in their name, obviously, but the Earthguard was not composed solely of Earthlings¡ªin fact, it was quite diverse. Whether they were Tarotan or Vn or whatever¡ªto Cam, they were a monolith of pushy, wide-shouldered jocks that valued punching faces over punching numbers. Yes, he wanted to receive official Earthguard recognition¡ªit came with fame and accolades that would make his mother very happy¡ªbut he didn¡¯t approve of their pretentious, power-hungry culture. His opinion was perhaps slightly sullied from his years being bullied by the stronger men and women at the academy. He graduated early because of his genius¡ªbut also because he wanted to get away from the jerks that called him ¡°pretty boy¡± (in a way that wasn¡¯t sexy, of course). And Cam had chosen to work aboard Stellarship Soter because Soter was not officially designated ¡®Guard; Captain Shear ran the ship through a private guild and his crew wasn¡¯t beholden to Earthguard rules. The Earthguard clearly didn¡¯t give a shit about that. They were the peacekeepers, the detectives, and the all-powerful, and whenever a bloody conflict came to pass, they were going to stick their noses into it¡ªas was their bureaucratic right. When the brown-furred Tarotan woman leading the investigation snapped her fingers in his direction and pointed towards one of the conference room doors, Cam felt his hair stand on end in frustration. ¡°You¡¯re with Falco,¡± she barked. She turned to Hermes and looked him up and down, brows lifted in surprise. ¡°You¡¯re¡ªbig,¡± she said, distracted. Hermes didn¡¯t reply, simply looking down at her, awaiting instruction. She cleared her throat and pointed at the room next to Cam¡¯s. ¡°You¡¯re with me in here.¡± When she turned to see Cam had yet to move, she snapped her fingers in front of his face. Again. ¡°Now, Cameron.¡± Oh, he was going to hate this. He didn¡¯t even know her name, because she hadn¡¯t deigned to introduce herself to him. He felt distinctly as if he were useful only to be wrung out like a damp dishcloth. Nevermind the fact that he was exhausted and that Hermes had to pour his heart out in front of the entire crew by reciting a eulogy four hours ago. Cam entered the conference room and took a seat across from a middle-aged human man. He was fair-skinned and had a closely-buzzed cut of vibrant ginger hair, which was also visible in his brows and the pointed goatee upon his chin. ¡°Falco, I presume,¡± Cam said. Branton Falco snapped his digipad closed and looked down his nose at where Cam was across the table. ¡°Yep. One moment.¡± He pulled out a recording device and placed it on the table. ¡°This is a recollection from Cameron Ollis, data analyst from Stellarship Soter,¡± he said towards the mic. He then rested his hands carefully one on top of the other in front of himself and put a flat, emotionless smile upon his face. ¡°So, Cam. I realize recounting these details can be uncomfortable for some, but I¡¯m hoping anything you can tell us will help.¡± Cam looked to the wall on his right, where Hermes was likely being asked to do the very same thing. His skin crawled in discomfort. ¡°Yeah. Where should I start?¡± ¡°The beginning, I suppose.¡± ¡°Okay. Well, we boarded the shuttle on time¡ªa little early, actually¡ª¡± ¡°No, no,¡± Falco interrupted. ¡°Sorry, I mean the actual beginning. When you were first assigned this mission.¡± Cam blinked. ¡°Oh. It was eleven days before we were set to take off. Qhathiren Wha asked if I would join them to T-446.¡± ¡°Exactly eleven days before?¡± Falco opened his digipad again and began tapping in something on a document. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°And why did she request your presence?¡± Cam glanced to the wall again. ¡°I was going to travel with Hermes.¡± ¡°For what purpose?¡± ¡°She just wanted another set of hands to help out.¡± ¡°With the mission?¡± ¡°Um, sort of.¡± Cam shifted, skin still crawling. ¡°It was Hermes¡¯ first mission and she wanted him to have a friend to rely on.¡± ¡°In case things got hairy.¡± ¡°Well, no¡ª¡± Cam¡¯s brow scrunched. ¡°She didn¡¯t say anything about, like, it being dangerous. I wouldn¡¯t¡¯ve gone if I thought it was dangerous. The brief said it¡ªthis was a really simple touch-base. It wasn¡¯t supposed to be life-threatening at all.¡± ¡°Then why bring backup?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, is¡ª¡± Cam gestured between himself and Falco. ¡°Is there something you want to say, exactly?¡± ¡°No. What makes you say that?¡± Falco¡¯s robotic smile had yet to waver, his hands still poised before himself. ¡°Your line of questions are suggesting something and it¡¯s making me uncomfortable.¡± ¡°What¡¯s it you think I¡¯m suggesting, Cam?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Ollis,¡± Cam snapped. ¡°You should¡ªrespectfully¡ªcall crewmen by their family names when working on official business, Falco.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Falco said, nodding, ¡°I recall that you trained under the Earthguard for a time.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°I apologize, Crewman Ollis. What is it that you are uncomfortable with me suggesting?¡± ¡°You¡¯re making it sound like Dr. Wha had some devious plan. She didn¡¯t. Hermes was just trying to learn¡ªtrying to make, like¡ª¡± Cam stumbled over himself and felt his face go red, mouth closing with an audible click. ¡°It was not my intention to imply Qhathiren had ulterior motives. I just want to understand her inclusion of you in the mission.¡± Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. ¡°She wanted me to be his friend.¡± Cam thought back to the conversation she had with him in the Training Quarter. It felt like a lifetime ago. He said, slowly, recounting her words as close as possible, ¡°She wanted me to help him navigate being a person. That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°I see,¡± said Falco. But as he thought back to the conversation, Cam felt a distant, unsettled fear. Qhat had been acting weird. She had been pushy and she wouldn¡¯t take ¡®no.¡¯ Cam¡¯s inclusion wasn¡¯t necessary¡ª¡±friend¡± isn¡¯t a typical ground-mission title¡ªand it was last minute. He even meant to ask her, before they took off, why she chose now to seek out an official companion for her surrogate son. It had never been in the plans before. But Cam had been so easily distracted by Hermes, his gentle disposition, and his beautiful face, and the inquiry slipped his mind. ¡°Is there something else? Some behavior that you questioned? Anything to note?¡± Falco asked, eventually, after the silence stretched for a moment. Cam stared at the smooth marble finish of the table. ¡°No,¡± he lied. ¡°Okay. We can jump ahead to the day. Through your eyes¡ªwhat happened?¡±
The s/ pider//. The spiderwebs of shattered glass criss-crossed over his vision. //ision. / //. He saw her d/ie. He s//aw her last breath.// ¡°I love.// you.¡± I lo ve yo u and I¡¯m so sorry. /. /
¡°I¡¯ll send the record over to HQ and we¡¯ll let you know if we figure anything out. I really appreciate your patience,¡± said Wilamen Gwn, the Tarotan woman leading the investigation. She gave Hermes another glance up and down as they stepped outside the conference room, interview completed. ¡°It is no problem,¡± Hermes replied. ¡°I was wondering¡­ Do you have dinner plans?¡± she asked, a small smile tilting the corners of her mouth. Hermes looked down and considered the question. He didn¡¯t want to eat. In fact, his insides felt solidified, like he was made of a well-worn stone. Recounting the traumatic events of T-446 was more difficult than speaking at the funeral he attended earlier that day, which left him with a sad sort of exhaustion he wasn¡¯t sure would be cured with sleep. ¡°I do not have plans, no,¡± he said. Her smile grew. ¡°Great.¡± Why was that great? She reached out, her hand connecting with his arm, and the pain that accompanied it was expected, this time. ¡°Would you like to grab a bite to eat in my guest quarters? In maybe an hour?¡± That would be enough time for me to shave everything, she thought. Hermes¡¯ confusion was all-encompassing. ¡°I would not,¡± he said honestly. Her own confusion was amplified through her touch. She wondered: Didn¡¯t he want to have sex? He seemed open to the idea seconds ago. I want to peel the clothes off his body piece by piece, put my mouth on hi¡ª There was a second sudden pain¡ªsharp and dagger-like¡ªbetween his eyes. Hermes recoiled out of her touch. He felt violated and violating at once, his breath caught in his chest. It had never hurt to hear someone¡¯s thoughts before¡ªonly when they first touched. ¡°Are you okay?¡± she asked, brows raised. ¡°I¡¯m¡ª¡± The pain was gone as quickly as it came and in its place, there was only embarrassment. Hermes felt some level of humiliation seeing himself objectified in her thoughts. ¡°You misunderstand me,¡± he said, voice calm despite his internal conflict and his staggering confusion. ¡°And that is an inappropriate proposition, as I am the subject of your investigation.¡± Gwn¡¯s face fell; her smile crashed into a flat, harsh line. ¡°Of course. I wasn¡¯t implying anything untoward. It¡¯s just dinner¡ªdon¡¯t get the wrong idea.¡± Her own tone was accusatory¡ªas if Hermes were the one that turned the conversation sexual. Which was an outright lie. Hermes was almost impressed at the boldness of it, but of course¡ªshe had no clue Hermes would know. In fact, based on the hard look behind her eyes, she seemed to be banking on Hermes¡¯ naivete to save face. Hermes sought the words to explain how what she said was wrong, lost in his own feelings and the newness of the situation, but Cam stepped out from the neighboring room, eyes ringed in red, and Hermes abandoned all thought except Cam¡¯s hurt, Cam¡¯s sad, CamCamCam. He moved over to him. ¡°Are you alright?¡± he asked, voice low. - VISION RED VISION CRACKED ./ CAM/S HURT SAVE CAM SAVE CAM / SAVE CAM // . ¡ª - Cam didn¡¯t look up. He shook his head, his long soft hair swishing back and forth before his face. A red-haired man stepped out from behind Cam, smiling. ¡°Good evening, Hermes.¡± Hermes felt something righteous and hot flood his mind as he stepped between the stranger and Cam. What sort of emotional onslaught had this man inflicted in his questioning? ¡°I do not believe we have been introduced,¡± Hermes said, teeth grit. ¡°I¡¯m Branton Falco. Part of the investigation team.¡± He held out his hand. Hermes took it, prepared for the pain; prepared to read the dark thoughts of a harmful man. I¡¯m hungry, Falco thought mildly. I wonder if this piece of shit ship has rolls. I¡¯d kill for a meatball sub. Oh. Hermes pulled his hand back, anger dampening. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you,¡± he said, though he didn¡¯t mean it at all. Perhaps his ability to lie was growing stronger. Gwn cleared her throat. ¡°We¡¯ll be in touch as we continue our research. Keep your comms on.¡± She gestured towards Falco and they started down the hall. ¡°How¡¯d it go?¡± she asked him as they left, voices carrying. He snorted, sounding bored. ¡°Fine, I guess.¡± When they were out of earshot, Hermes leaned down towards Cam. ¡°Cam?¡± Cam finally looked up. Breathing even again. ¡°Hey.¡± ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Nothing. It just sucks having to talk about all that shit.¡± Hermes nodded in sage understanding. A smile pulled at Cam, and Hermes felt his insides melt like chocolate candy in sunshine. ¡°How did it go for you?¡± ¡°It was fine,¡± Hermes said. He glanced back down the hall. ¡°Gwn propositioned me.¡± He didn¡¯t mention the pain¡ªit was so fleeting that it seemed mostly irrelevant. A beat passed. Cam¡¯s voice elevated to a squeak. ¡°She propositioned you. Sexually?¡± Hermes nodded. Cam¡¯s voice lowered to a harsh whisper. ¡°That¡¯s not okay. She¡¯s in charge of this whole thing.¡± ¡°That is what I said. She denied it, but I heard her intentions clearly, when we were touching.¡± ¡°You were touching?¡± ¡°She placed her hand upon my arm.¡± Cam¡¯s lip curled back. ¡°And the Earthguard¡¯s supposed to be good at restraint. I mean, shit, you¡¯re obviously a whole snack, but she could at least wait until they figure everything out.¡± ¡°A whole snack?¡± Cam paused before bursting into a laugh. ¡°It means you¡¯re attractive.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Cam shifted from one foot to the other before asking hesitantly, ¡°Are you¡­interested in her advances, though? Like¡ªif we were outside of all this.¡± Hermes tilted his head. ¡°I suppose I was unclear before now,¡± he said. Cam blinked up at him owlishly. ¡°I desire only you.¡± Cam¡¯s round eyes were frozen upon Hermes¡¯ face. Suddenly, color flooded his pale skin. ¡°Um.¡± ¡°I would kiss you now, if I could,¡± Hermes said with warm, earnest emphasis. ¡°Oh my god.¡± Cam seemed briefly torn. ¡°You¡¯re too much. Seriously.¡± He reached out and Hermes jerked backward before his hand could make contact with his chest. Cam withdrew his hand immediately, eyes wide with hurt. ¡°Oh. Sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I just¡­assumed...¡± ¡°No, it is not you,¡± Hermes rushed to say. ¡°I am hesitant to touch anyone. I cannot control¡ª¡± A crewman turned the corner, writing something on a digipad, oblivious to Cam and Hermes as he walked by. Hermes lowered his voice, lifted his hands, and wiggled his fingers. ¡°This.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± said Cam. ¡°Oh, I see.¡± He appeared thoughtful, looking at Hermes¡¯ hands. ¡°Have you tried to practice?¡± ¡°Practice?¡± ¡°If it¡¯s a skill like any other, you can learn to control it.¡± Another crewman walked by and Cam cleared his throat, waiting for him to pass. ¡°Let¡¯s go back to your quarters. We really shouldn¡¯t be talking about this out here.¡± Hermes agreed and tried not to outwardly show his glee at the potential of being alone with Cam once again. A Good Sleep White petals . Funeral flowers The most popular types of funeral flowers are lilies, chrysanthemums, orchids, and carnations. / . /// SA //////VE C AM.
There was a small white orchid outside of Hermes¡¯ room when they arrived. ¡°Another one,¡± Hermes mumbled, leaning down to pick it up. Cam leaned in and read the card. ¡°This one¡¯s from Shear.¡± ¡°He is thoughtful,¡± Hermes said. ¡°I have not gotten him anything yet.¡± Cam felt the corner of his mouth lift. ¡°I¡¯m sure he understands. Besides, there aren¡¯t any flowers left.¡± He¡¯d already tried to arrange for flowers to be sent to Shear and found the gardening quarter was empty¡ªand the gardener quite stressed. Cam sent Captain Shear a box of condolences chocolate instead. ¡°You can get something for him when we dock at Thetis next week.¡± Hermes absently stroked the long thin stem of the orchid, brows pulled together in thought. After a moment, he shook his head and turned to his door, opening it with a beep. Cam hesitated at the threshold until Hermes gestured. ¡°Please, come in.¡± Cam exhaled and stepped through. The room was filled with flowers¡ªmuch like Cam¡¯s own, though the flowers were ¡°glad you didn¡¯t die¡± flowers instead of condolences¡ªbut it was otherwise pristine. His window blind was open, revealing the stars outside, and Cam was drawn over, looking out. He¡¯d lived in space for many years now, but it never got old, seeing the stars like this. Being in Hermes¡¯ room, blanketed in the dim light of the stars outside, brought an unexpected sense of calm to Cam¡¯s frantic thoughts. Hermes placed the orchid on the only available surface left¡ªat the top of his refrigerator¡ªand then stood, stiffly, as if awaiting instruction. Cam blinked over to him and raised one eyebrow in question. ¡°I do not know how to practice my telepathy,¡± Hermes explained. Cam thought back to them jogging side by side in the training quarter. ¡°We can practice together. You can try closing the connection on me.¡± Hermes tilted his head, considering the idea. ¡°If you want,¡± added Cam. ¡°Okay.¡± The chairs on either side of his dining table were both occupied with floral arrangements. Cam pointed to Hermes¡¯ bed instead and willed his face not to blush. As he sat with Hermes, side by side, he wondered if maybe this were a terribly dumb idea. But Hermes held out his hand between them, fingers opening shyly to invite Cam¡¯s own, and Cam¡¯s hesitations vanished¡ªjust like that. Gently, he corded their hands. Hermes winced and Cam leaned in to examine his face. ¡°What is it?¡± Hermes just shook his head, brows pinched. After a moment, his face relaxed again, and he nodded very subtly, as if everything was okay. Cam tightened their hands together, thumb stroking Hermes¡¯ fingers. Hermes was warm and soft and although he¡¯d been on his feet and active all day, he still smelled of the cedar cologne he often wore. Cam found himself appreciating everything in this one singular moment in time: holding Hermes¡¯ hand, alone with him where it was safe, surrounded by flowers and stars. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. During the rescue, as the team from Soter lifted them from that giant pit, Cam was filled with one specific¨Cirrational¨Cthought. He was frantic¡ªunhinged, basically, from a lack of water and sleep¡ªand he had a fear he would never get to hold Hermes again. He was getting distracted. Cam looked up, into Hermes¡¯ face, and asked, ¡°What am I thinking?¡± ¡°When we parted on T-446 during the rescue, you thought that you would feel cold for the rest of your life, because you never felt as warm as when you held me.¡± Cam smiled. ¡°Okay, so, it¡¯s working.¡± His thumb stroked the long, smooth line of Hermes¡¯ forefinger. ¡°Can you try blocking me out, now?¡± He watched Hermes, staring into his smooth, handsome face. ¡°Alright.¡± A moment of silence passed as Cam thought of mathematical equations. Hermes squinted. Cam asked quietly, ¡°Do you see anything? Hear anything?¡± X equals negative B¡­ Hermes shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s working. I cannot read your thoughts,¡± he whispered. They were very close. Nearly sharing air. ¡°I figured you¡¯d be able to control it. Here.¡± Cam held out his other hand and Hermes took it without question. ¡°What now?¡± Hermes looked at their joined hands and shook his head. ¡°It is harder to block, I believe, when we are touching more. You are reciting the quadratic formula.¡± Cam smiled at Hermes¡¯ face in deep concentration. ¡°Keep trying.¡± After a moment, Hermes said, ¡°When I concentrate, I cannot hear your thoughts. Even now.¡± Cam squeezed his hands. ¡°It appears the more contact I have with the individual, the harder it is to control the telepathy. It is like¡ª¡± He bit his bottom lip briefly, pulling together the words. ¡°A tap of water that is always on. And when we touch more broadly, it flows more strongly, and a simple block does not work as well.¡± ¡°We can keep practicing,¡± Cam said. ¡°I believe it is stronger when contact is skin to skin as well,¡± said Hermes. He dropped one of Cam¡¯s hands, and grasped his wrist instead, covered by fabric. Hermes¡¯ tilted his head back, concentrating. ¡°This is easier to block. Perhaps I could wear gloves.¡± Cam¡¯s heart thundered beneath Hermes¡¯ palm. Could he feel it? Did he know? ¡°We can practice skin to skin for better control,¡± Cam whispered¡ªlike he would wake himself up if he spoke at volume. He took Hermes¡¯ hand and guided it down, to the hem of his shirt. Cam was, in this moment, awash with want. He pulled Hermes¡¯ hand beneath his shirt and up to his stomach. And before he could question it, Cam rid himself of the shirt entirely, lifting it over his head, pulling off his Soter comms armband on the way. Hermes¡¯ fingers gently stroked from his belly to his ribs, up his naked torso. Cam didn¡¯t have to take his other hand¡ªHermes reached out, his long fingers wrapping into Cam¡¯s now unclothed middle. Hermes pulled him forward¡ªuntil Cam was sat upon his lap, thighs spread. Cam began to unbutton the top of the shirt Hermes wore. Their noses brushed as he pulled it off, shoving it smoothly down Hermes¡¯ arms. Naked from the waist up, Cam whispered, voice hoarse with want, ¡°Are we touching enough?¡± Hermes kissed him. Cam felt like a faucet opened. He moaned into the seam of Hermes¡¯ mouth and Hermes¡¯ hands spasmed against the planes of his back before tightening, hard, and pulling Cam into every available inch of skin. Hermes gasped for air as Cam tightened his legs, pushing their clothed erections together, and Cam took the opportunity to lick into his mouth. It was Hermes who made a noise this time¡ªa soft, wanting sigh. Cam¡¯s hands began to tremble and he frantically pushed back enough to pull down his pants, unbuckle his leg bracers, and fumble with Hermes¡¯ slacks after. He kicked their trousers away, unconcerned where they fell in a wrinkled lump nearby, and they were finally naked¡ªtouching chest to chest, hip to hip, and thigh to thigh. And still they kissed, breathlessly, tongues wet as their mouths collided in quiet want. They shifted down, side by side, until they were laid across Hermes¡¯ bed together. Cam slid one leg up, hooking his knee over Hermes¡¯ hip, holding them close, skin to skin. He moved one hand from Hermes¡¯ face to his neck, then to his shoulder, and finally his side, savoring his warmth and the hard, smooth lines of him. Cam¡¯s thoughts guided Hermes¨Cso his strong, soft hands slid into Cam¡¯s hair and then down, to the small of his back, and over the swell of his ass. Gasps turned to sighs. They continued to kiss, all thoughts of practice¡ªall thoughts of anything¡ªgone. The frantic pace fell into a comfortable embrace, their lips gently pressed together, moving slowly, their want simply simmering in a slow, continual kiss. Perhaps it was relief and exhaustion in one that did it, but after a half-hour of their warm, saturated kissing¡ªthey fell asleep. Hermes first, eyes fallen shut as exhaustion took over, and then Cam, his hands tucked against Hermes¡¯ chest, lips kiss-stung and swollen. That night, the stars blinked down at them from the open blind. Want Hermes awoke with desperate want and blind confusion. Over the last year of having a corporeal form, he had endured nocturnal penile tumescence¡ªcolloquially called morning wood¡ªbut this was different. This was a searing heat that suffocated him. He gasped, breathing in for what felt like the first time in an age, and opened his eyes. He was in his bed, laid on his side, facing the window. Behind him lay Cam, spooned against his back, still very asleep. He realized the feverish arousal was the subconscious want from Cam, too. Cam¡¯s mind, in sleep, wasn¡¯t very comprehensible. It was an idle desire to touch, to feel, to release. Hermes, breathing heavily, turned to sit. A bead of sweat fell from his brow and he looked down to Cam¡¯s sleeping face. His white hair fell around him like a halo and his skin was as pale and unmarked as freshly fallen snow. Amidst all the swirling heat, Hermes felt amused at the contrast¡ªCam¡¯s sexual inner thoughts juxtaposed against his perfectly innocent appearance. Somehow, seeing Cam like this, Hermes wanted him all the more. Groggy still, it took Hermes a while to turn off the tap and close Cam¡¯s mind to himself. When he did, his arousal dampened, but only slightly. After all, Cam was still naked, folded in the bedding, the many curves and planes of his body laid out before Hermes like a piece of art framed inside a gallery. He wanted to lift his hand and touch the pale space where Cam¡¯s thigh curved into his hip, but patrons are not meant to touch the art on display. Hermes pulled away, until they weren¡¯t touching at all, and he sat back against the headboard on his wall. He caught his breath, mind clearing minute by minute. It wasn¡¯t long before Cam woke up. His brow furrowed, hands tightening into the covers, and then his eyes opened. There was a brief passing confusion before he hummed in understanding and reached up to clear the sleep from his eyes. ¡°Hermes?¡± he asked softly. ¡°Yes,¡± said Hermes. Cam jerked, obviously thinking he was alone in the bed and surprised by Hermes being but a foot away. He laughed, which dissolved into a yawn. ¡°Your bed is gigantic.¡± He gestured between them. ¡°Why are you all the way over there?¡± ¡°I was calming my arousal,¡± Hermes said honestly. Cam blinked sleepily and reached into the blankets that were tented over his erection, and shuddered as he adjusted himself. ¡°We can fix that.¡± ¡°I am still not in full control of my telepathy,¡± he said, voice a mumble, unable to look away from the silhouetted movements Cam made beneath the duvet. ¡°My desire was not my own.¡± Cam¡¯s eyes fluttered open and closed as his hand continued to move¡ªuntil he forced himself to stop. ¡°Oh.¡± Cam swallowed, chewed his lip, and pulled his hand out from beneath the blanket. His fingers were damp¡ªglossy with something that made Hermes feel on fire again. It took them both a moment to speak again, as Hermes could hear only the pounding of his heart. ¡°That¡¯s fine,¡± Cam finally said, sounding a little breathless. He reached up with his clean hand and rubbed at his face, like he was truly waking up. ¡°Right. You¡¯re right. We¡ª¡± He snickered. ¡°We should probably stick to basic hand-holding and kissing, until it¡¯s¡ªyou know. Under control.¡± ¡°I am amenable to that,¡± said Hermes. Like the last several days, he wanted nothing more than to kiss Cam again. And again. And again. Perhaps twice an hour, every hour, would satiate his want? Three to be safe, he thought. ¡°Can I use your shower?¡± asked Cam. ¡°Yes.¡± Hermes shifted, placing his feet upon the ground, and stood out of bed. His spine popped as he twisted the slumber from his bones. He gestured to the closed door at the other side of his quarters, beside the kitchenette and his piano. ¡°It is through this door.¡± Cam didn¡¯t reply or move, so Hermes glanced down, and found his eyes raking over Hermes¡¯ tall, nude form, face flushed. They met eyes again and Hermes knew, if Cam asked¡ªor offered¡ªthat he wouldn¡¯t say no again. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. He wanted Cam to ask. But he didn¡¯t. Instead, he crawled out of bed, taking a sheet with him, and walked stiffly to the bath. When the door swished shut behind him, Hermes collapsed back onto his rumpled mattress and sighed. The sound of the running shower, the peaceful darkness of Hermes¡¯ room, and his seemingly endless exhaustion meant that he fell asleep without meaning to. There was thunder at his door. Hermes jolted to standing as the sound rumbled through his quarters again. Someone was knocking¡ªinstead of using the door alert. Blearily, he stumbled to the panel beside the door and looked out through the security cam. It was Gwn. ¡°One moment,¡± Hermes said into the speaker, voice rough with sleep. He made his way to the closet at the end of his bed and began to fish out a pair of casual trousers and a button-down shirt. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± asked Cam, walking out from the bathroom, hair damp, wrapped in a towel. Hermes stepped into a pair of back slacks and buttoned them, moving swiftly. ¡°Gwn is at my door.¡± Cam had a sour look. ¡°What? Why?¡± ¡°I am uncertain.¡± He shifted the button-down shirt over himself and saw Cam go for his wrinkled clothes on Hermes¡¯ floor. ¡°Would you like to wear my clothing? Yours is unwashed.¡± Hermes moved to button the shirt at his wrist. ¡°Your stuff won¡¯t fit me, babe. You¡¯re like nine feet tall.¡± Babe sent an electric zap up Hermes¡¯ spine. He said, evenly, ¡°I am six feet, eleven inches. You are six feet, two inches. Our height difference is not that disparate.¡± Cam ignored Hermes¡¯ calculations and looked at his wrinkled formal attire from the memorial service. ¡°Shit. Damn it. She¡¯s definitely going to know.¡± ¡°Know?¡± ¡°That we slept together.¡± Hermes¡¯ confusion was written across his face. Cam leaned in to snap his leg bracers around his legs. Cam glanced up to see the question in Hermes¡¯ eyes and snorted a laugh. ¡°She has a thing for you, remember? Seeing that you had sex with someone else is going to upset her. Probably. Even if we didn¡¯t actually have sex¡ªshe¡¯s going to see me, in here, in yesterday¡¯s clothes, and draw a conclusion.¡± ¡°Okay. What do we do?¡± Cam pulled on his shirt and snorted. ¡°Nothing. She¡¯s gonna know. Might as well pull the bandaid off.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± Hermes went back to his door and opened it with little preamble. Cam quickly zipped up his pants, huffing from behind Hermes. Gwn¡¯s wide eyes went from Hermes to Cam and back again. Hermes said, ¡°Hello, Gwn. Cam and I did not have sex.¡± Cam made a sound roughly equivalent to that of a dying cat before collapsing into his hands. ¡°Hermes. Oh my god.¡± A muscle in Gwn¡¯s jaw jumped. ¡°Well, that solves our problem this morning.¡± She pointed to Cam. ¡°You weren¡¯t answering your communicator and you weren¡¯t inside your room. You can¡¯t disappear during an investigation, Cameron.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Ollis,¡± Cam corrected, voice barely more contained than a snarl. ¡°I¡¯m allowed to stay wherever I¡¯d like.¡± ¡°I was under the impression you were meant to be healing from your grievous injury,¡± Gwn said, arms crossed. ¡°I am,¡± said Cam. ¡°Like Hermes said, we didn¡¯t have sex. We just slept. Following the doctor¡¯s orders.¡± Gwn looked unconvinced and turned to her communicator on her wrist and started typing out a message. ¡°I¡¯ll let the rest of the team know you haven¡¯t, in fact, stolen an escape pod and disappeared in the middle of the night.¡± ¡°How the fuck would I do that?¡± ¡°Stranger things have happened.¡± She looked back to Hermes, eyes hard and unfeeling. ¡°We found something last night while searching Wha¡¯s quarters. We need you both to come to Conference C. Shear¡¯s waiting.¡± Conference C was the largest of the conference rooms on Soter. ¡°Now?¡± Cam said. ¡°I need to go grab clothes¡ª¡± ¡°Yeah, now,¡± said Gwn. She tilted a hip, waiting. ¡°I¡¯ll be your escort.¡± ¡°Please give us one moment,¡± said Hermes, closing the door in her face. Not to be rude¡ªbut to talk privately. Her expression, visible on the security panel by the door, was wracked with displeasure. Cam sniffed his own shirt and wrinkled his nose. ¡°This smells like sweat.¡± ¡°Wear mine,¡± Hermes said. Insisted, really. He moved to his wardrobe and pulled down a blue button-down. ¡°This one is tight on my shoulders. It should fit your frame acceptably.¡± Cam didn¡¯t argue this time and rushed to change shirts. He then combed through his damp hair with his fingers, hissing. ¡°This is bullshit. We just woke up.¡± ¡°I do not disagree,¡± Hermes mumbled, moving to his bathroom to rush through a fragment of his morning routine¡ªurinating and swishing mouthwash over his gums at the least. Minutes later, they opened the door to an even colder-looking Gwn. ¡°After you,¡± she hissed, pointing in the direction of the conference rooms. Cam gave her one of his trademark grins and she didn¡¯t respond. Bodyguarded ¡°Are you serious?¡± asked Shear as Cam and Hermes walked through the doors ahead of Gwn. Though he said it generally, Cam knew Shear¡¯s disapproval was directed very pointedly at him. He pouted. ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything, Captain. I swear. We just slept.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what the alert said from Gwn ten minutes ago,¡± said one of the investigators, reading over his digipad. Cam spun to give her a furious look and Gwn rolled her eyes in return. ¡°I found you buttoning your pants. What was I supposed to think?¡± ¡°You could try minding your own fucking business, for starters¡ª¡± ¡°Ollis,¡± snapped Shear, and Cam closed his mouth, nose wrinkled in fury. ¡°Cam is not lying,¡± said Hermes. ¡°We slept. We were too tired to engage in sexual conduct.¡± Shear pinched the space between his eyebrows. ¡°And I thought you were with Tamn¡ªso why are you spending the night with Hermes?¡± The investigators all shared wide-eyed looks, scandalized, and Cam felt himself snap. ¡°I¡¯m not with Tamn. I¡¯ve never been with Tamn¡ªnot¡ªromantically. Frankly, none of this is any of your business,¡± he said, face flush with embarrassment and anger at once. ¡°And besides, Hermes and I did not have sex.¡± Hardcore making out was not sex, and he¡¯d stand by that. Neither of them had even had an orgasm. Which was, in its own right, a problem, but certainly not a problem he¡¯d rehash with his boss. ¡°I do not understand why engaging in sexual relations with Cam would be inappropriate,¡± said Hermes. ¡°You¡¯re traumatized and grieving and I don¡¯t want someone taking advantage of you,¡± Shear said, and Cam¡¯s guilt appeared at the front of his mind, hissing like an excited snake. He grit his teeth until Shear took mercy and continued, ¡°Look, Ollis is actually right¡ªthis conversation isn¡¯t suitable for mixed company.¡± ¡°It could be relevant, though,¡± said Falco, seated at the end of the table, eating a sausage wrapped in pastry. He chewed and spoke around the food in his mouth, ¡°Cam¡¯s a suspect.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± said Cam, suddenly awash with fear. ¡°What does that mean?¡± Shear cleared his throat and gestured for everyone to sit. ¡°We went through Qhathiren¡¯s things late last night and early this morning. We found some relevant¡­items.¡± He pointed to documents on the table, sealed in plastic. Cam leaned in and could see a note¡ªtyped in a simple serif font. We are going to kill you and right the wrongs committed by the misguided. Pray to your god that he may not punish you in the great beyond for the sin of your existence. ¡°What the fuck?¡± ¡°This is one of five notes threatening assassination.¡± ¡°You think I did this?¡± Cam¡¯s voice was tinged in panic, heart racing. ¡°I would never.¡± ¡°We¡¯re not accusing you,¡± said Gwn. ¡°You¡¯re just a subject of interest.¡± ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be. I¡¯ve never¡ªI would never¡ª¡± ¡°These notes are not for Dr. Wha,¡± Hermes said, standing over the table, reading them. ¡°They are intended for me.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know that,¡± said Gwn. Shear ignored her and leaned towards Hermes. ¡°What makes you say that, Hermes?¡± ¡°The sin of your existence is a common phrase said to me when I encounter the Anti-I movement. My existence, in their eyes, is sin. That phrase is used in every letter. These notes were written for me. Not her.¡± ¡°They weren¡¯t given to you, though. They were given to Wha,¡± Falco said, sounding, once more, bored. He began to lick the crumbs from his fingers. ¡°So we really can¡¯t be sure.¡± ¡°I am sure,¡± said Hermes. ¡°Shortly before her death, Dr. Wha said¡ª¡± Silence followed as Hermes¡¯ eyes went wide and blank. The moment stretched out uncomfortably long¡ªuntil Cam placed a hand upon Hermes¡¯, stroking his fingers gently. ¡°What did she say?¡± Hermes¡¯ eyes jerked almost robotically before he shook his head, as if clearing it. ¡°Shortly before her death, Dr. Wha said, ¡®I was trying to take care of it alone.¡¯ Implying that the situation at hand involved others. Specifically, me. It is reasonable to assume I was being threatened and she hid it from me. How did she acquire these letters?¡± Falco shrugged. Shear answered, ¡°It¡¯s not possible to transmit letters in this format unless we¡¯re on the same vessel.¡± Which was true, Cam concluded, as he looked at the papers through the plastic. They were clearly composed of the thin, 3D printed papercraft found only on Stellarships. Shear continued, ¡°She had to have received them while aboard Soter. Someone here wanted Qhat¡ªor you¡ªdead. ¡°You¡¯re saying this sick fuck is on our ship.¡± Cam did the math in a panic. There were about one thousand crewmen on Soter. Not such a great number that would be impossible to vet, but a challenge. Someone who wanted Hermes dead could sneak among the crew, preparing a strike. But there were only so many people who could have arranged a landing on T-446. Fewer than two dozen had control over missions. Cam, himself, was not qualified. ¡°It¡¯s not me,¡± Cam said. Gwn, Falco, and the other investigators looked at him flatly. ¡°What I mean,¡± Cam continued, ¡°Is that if we have a traitor on board, it has to be someone who could have arranged a stop at T-446. That¡¯s where we were attacked¡ªand it was obviously premeditated. I couldn¡¯t have done it¡ªI didn¡¯t even know the mission details until a week beforehand and I have absolutely no control over that part of our processes. It couldn¡¯t have been me.¡± He looked to Hermes, concerned, suddenly, that he wouldn¡¯t believe him. When he met Hermes¡¯ eyes, he was greeted with a look of unabashed affection. ¡°It is not you,¡± said Hermes, voice gone soft and quiet. ¡°There are a number of individuals on the crew that could be responsible, and you are not on that list.¡± The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Falco snorted, wiping his hands with a paper napkin, now. ¡°Well, that¡¯s where it gets confusing.¡± He looked to Gwn, who seemed hesitant to continue. ¡°What? We¡¯re not gonna tell them?¡± Gwn groaned. ¡°It seems like the mission to T-446 was requested by Qhathiren herself. She found the planet¡¯s information in the database. Accessed it before coming aboard. She submitted it for review. This mission happened because she wanted it to happen. So, unless she wanted Hermes dead herself¡­¡± ¡°Impossible,¡± said Hermes. ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± replied Falco. ¡°Maybe the Anti-I guy found out about the mission and planted his people there,¡± Cam said. ¡°Our missions aren¡¯t secret. Anyone on the ship could have found out if they just read the logs.¡± ¡°Or someone planted it in front of Qhat and tricked her into submitting it, yeah,¡± said Shear. ¡°Those are all possibilities.¡± Cam felt like he was missing something obvious, but the racing of his pulse made it hard to think clearly. He wished he were doing math, instead. Numbers were logical, clear, and straightforward. This mess¡ªwas frightening¡ªand twisted. ¡°Don¡¯t worry your pretty head about it, Cam,¡± said Gwn. ¡°It¡¯s our job to solve the puzzle. Not yours.¡± Cam was going to launch Gwn into space. Launching people into space was always an option. ¡°Look,¡± Shear said, voice raised. ¡°The most likely scenario, here, is that we have a traitor on board, and this person either wanted my fiancee or Hermes dead. Until we uncover the rat, we need you under constant surveillance. Both of you.¡± ¡°Are you assigning us bodyguards?¡± Cam raised his hands. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s necessary¡ª¡± ¡°Yes. It is. And considering the crew we lost on T-446¡ªwe¡¯re short-staffed on soldiers. So.¡± Shear gestured. ¡°Falco will be your man, Ollis.¡± Cam recoiled in horror. ¡°And for Hermes, we¡¯re using one of our own. Are you familiar with Soen Tamn?¡± Hermes¡¯ eyebrows lifted, eyes wide. Finally, he said, ¡°I am.¡± ¡°Great. He¡¯s yours.¡± We should have had sex, Cam thought, despaired and irrational. He wasn¡¯t going to get to spend time alone with Hermes ever again.
Half blind by the broken glass but he had been f/ully blind to the truth long before now. // ./ / He was tired And the music kept going//. It warmed him but // / He was so tired but he had t to s SAVE CAM SAVE CAM SAVE C//AM -.
¡°I feel like I¡¯m missing something obvious,¡± Cam said as he walked at Hermes¡¯ side. They were heading to the Caf, where Soen Tamn was waiting for Hermes to arrive and begin his new assignment. // . Music followed their steps Each/h/ step A new key Ting - ting / . Silence. // . / Hermes hadn¡¯t had any time to make peace with the arrangement or to fully digest his discomfort with being in close quarters with a sexual partner of Cam. In fact, something weird happened to Hermes when he looked at Cam and thought of Soen Tamn¡ªpossessive anger stroked at him unbidden. He didn¡¯t want Cam and Soen to touch ever again. Hermes felt embarrassed at himself and his seemingly irrational feelings. He tried to exhale it all from his lungs in one long breath. Cam had plenty of relationships aboard the ship. It was his many connections that made him perfect. But the thought of Tamn engaging Cam romantically left Hermes sour and gray. He was discovering many new landscapes of emotion and they were almost all terrible. How did people do this? And for more than a hundred years? Existence was a prison. Cam blinked his big blue eyes at Hermes curiously and said, ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°It is nothing,¡± Hermes lied. Another lie. At this rate, he would become an expert in the disingenuous. Cam scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re a terrible liar.¡± Hermes nearly tripped over his feet and Cam¡¯s subsequent teasing smile was a sunrise after a rainy night. So, not all of his new emotions were bad, then. This one¡ªthe warm, welcoming, and gentle affection for Cam¡ªwas very good. ¡°I thought my ability to lie was improving,¡± Hermes said. Cam laughed. It was Hermes¡¯ favorite sound, probably. Did people have favorite sounds? He wondered if he could capture it in a song. His fingers twitched. Hermes spoke quietly. ¡°I suppose I feel lost, too. It seems unbelievable that anyone would hate Dr. Wha. She was new to Soter. I am new. But we had an existing enemy aboard the ship?¡± Hermes added, eyes defocusing as he thought aloud, ¡°And¡ªwhy did she get the letters meant for me?¡± ¡°I guess they weren¡¯t going to your mailbox?¡± ¡°I do not have a mailbox,¡± Hermes said, brows pinching close, looking back to Cam again. Cam raised an eyebrow. ¡°Yes, you do. The room next to the Caf.¡± Hermes was quiet for a moment. ¡°Can you show me?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Together they ducked through an automatic door into a square black room lined with many small doors framed with ambient lighting. Cam approached a digital panel at one end and tapped at the screen, bringing up crew names and mailbox numbers. ¡°Here it is. Ninety-six.¡± He guided Hermes to mailbox ninety-six and pointed at the silver buttons at the front. ¡°You input your security code here.¡± Hermes hesitated. Why hadn¡¯t he known about this? Carefully, he input a numerical code, and blinked in surprise as the door popped open. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°No one told you about this?¡± ¡°No.¡± Cam pulled the door open the entire way. ¡°Well, there are only three letters, so someone has been checking your mail.¡± His blue eyes slid over to Hermes, wondering if he understood¡ªand he did. ¡°Dr. Wha was regularly accessing my mailbox and removing the threatening letters. She knew my Soter security code. It was chosen by her¡ªI thought it was helpful that she decided on the numbers for me.¡± At the time, he saw it as another way in which she was guiding him through the intricacies of real life. And that was the truth¡ªbut not the entire truth. ¡°Well.¡± Cam closed the mailbox back and sighed. ¡°That explains it, then.¡± ¡°See, this is the sort of thing that¡¯s going to cause me problems, Ollis,¡± came a voice from the mailroom doorway. Hermes and Cam both jolted to face Falco, who had his arms crossed, eyes narrowed. ¡°I go to pee and you say, ¡®We¡¯ll meet in the Caf,¡¯ and instead, you detour. You can¡¯t take detours when you¡¯re under threat.¡± Cam bristled a bit. ¡°I can do whatever I want.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t, actually, because it¡¯s unsafe.¡± Falco¡¯s narrowed eyes squinted over to Hermes. ¡°You should know better. Orders are orders. And your orders, right now, are to have a trained soldier at your side.¡± Hermes didn¡¯t like Falco. But, in this instance, he wasn¡¯t wrong. Still, it wasn¡¯t Cam¡¯s fault. ¡°I requested that Cam show me the mailroom.¡± ¡°Show you?¡± Falco stepped inside, looking slightly less perturbed. ¡°What¡¯s that mean?¡± Hermes looked at the mail in his hands. One envelope with some sort of paystub, a second from the Earthguard¡ª His stomach knotted. The third envelope was a letter folded in on itself with a now-familiar serif font. He held it up for Cam and Falco and said, ¡°Dr. Wha was intercepting my mail. This is another letter from the Anti-I.¡± ¡°Oh no,¡± said Cam. ¡°Oh shit.¡± Falco groaned and walked over to look at the letter up-close. ¡°Lovely. Alright. Hold on.¡± He pulled out his digipad and hit a few buttons to begin a video recording. ¡°Go ahead. Crack it open.¡± Hermes did, unfolding the note. Inside, the same font as the letters he¡¯d read earlier. We do not rejoice for a sinner killed. We weep for the loss of a human soul. When you die at our hand, we will absolve the sin of your existence, and perhaps she will find peace then. ¡°Fucking gross,¡± Cam said. He then looked at the video and mumbled, ¡°Oh, right. You¡¯re recording. Sorry.¡± Falco shrugged and ended the video. ¡°I¡¯ll take the letter and have it analyzed. I¡¯m assuming there¡¯ll be no prints except yours and Ollis¡¯, but it¡¯s worth checking.¡± An uncomfortable silence developed between them. ¡°Let¡¯s go drop you off with Tamn.¡± Hermes couldn¡¯t argue, so he didn¡¯t. Inquiries and Accusations Until the point he was shadowed by Soen Tamn, Hermes spent most of his time with Earthlings and Tarotans. It wasn¡¯t that he was unfamiliar with the Medese¡ªhe was a quarter Medese himself¡ªbut after watching Tamn go through his evening routine of filing his fingers and applying spicy-scented oil to his hair, Hermes felt especially out of sorts. He decided to distract himself from his uncomfortable unfamiliarity by estimating the percentage of Dromian in Tamn¡¯s genetics. The planet of Dromeda was home to two human races, Medese and Dromians, and over thousands of years, the two had blurred lines until the Dromians were functionally extinct. The Medese, a more ¡°dominant¡± race in the sense that they won more wars, encompassed all of Dromeda at this point. The characteristics that sat the two apart physically was actually hair¡ªthe Medese, traditionally, had no hair follicles, while the Dromians had hair similar to Earthlings. Tamn had many traditional markings of the Medese¡ªtheir most common red skin coloration of a full blood red¡ªand a slight protruding forehead plate made of rock hard bone. But his hair¡ªlong, silky, and black¡ªspoke of the Dromian ancestry in his line. ¡°What are you staring at, Roboy?¡± Tamn grunted. They were seated across the small shared sleeping quarters temporarily assigned for Hermes¡¯ protection, with Tamn reclined at the small dining set, feet propped upon the opposite chair, idly filing his fingertips with an emery board. Hermes, seated on his too-small bed, blinked a few times and looked away. ¡°Nothing.¡± Tamn continued to file, dulling down the natural points that his shiny crystal-like nails grew into. ¡°You looked like you had a question.¡± ¡°I am trying to decipher my own internal reactions.¡± ¡°Your internal reactions to me?¡± Hermes hesitated before nodding. Tamn glared. His eyes had black sclera and red irises, a common coloration among the Medese. Like Hermes, he had a ridge upon his nose and forehead, but unlike Hermes, he also had rock-like protrusions off his forehead, forming a crown of jagged horns that held his black hair from his face. Cam found him attractive, Hermes knew. He had chosen Tamn as a sexual partner¡ªa regular sexual partner. This man was, to Cam, special. Hermes¡¯ fists tightened against his lap. // . they / touched. It was with a surprised jolt that Hermes realized he hadn¡¯t successfully suppressed his unwarranted jealousy. ¡°I see,¡± he said before he could stop himself. ¡°Oh?¡± Tamn raised a black eyebrow and sat up, setting aside his nail file. ¡°Spill.¡± ¡°I would rather not. I am uncomfortable discussing this.¡± Hermes forced himself to loosen his fists. Tamn rolled his eyes. ¡°Are you trying to make the next week or two as awkward as you possibly can or is that just¡ªI dunno¡ªpoor programming?¡± ¡°I believe you are the one making it awkward, Tamn.¡± ¡°You believe incorrectly.¡± They fell into a tense silence, simply staring at one another in the mostly-empty room, the stars twinkling through the one narrow window at the top of the far wall. Eventually, Hermes looked down at his fingers, flexing. ¡°I am envious of your connection to Cam.¡± Tamn was quiet for a minute¡ªand then he laughed. Hermes peeked up and saw him motioning into the air. ¡°That¡¯s great,¡± said Tamn. ¡°We¡¯re jealous of each other. How stupid is that?¡± Hermes¡¯ brows pinched close in confusion. ¡°I do not understand.¡± ¡°Cam¡¯s, like, obsessed with you.¡± ob¡¤sess /?b?ses/ verb preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent. Hermes¡¯ mind went completely blank. He finally said, ¡°Hm.¡± Tamn snorted. ¡°It¡¯s like you were designed by a league of scientists trying to make the perfect specimen or something.¡± ¡°I was designed by scientists,¡± Hermes said, reaching up to hold his chin, thinking. ¡°I was joking.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°The point is that I¡¯m just some fucking guy and you¡¯re, like, the universe¡¯s only true son, and, of course, Cam is going to pick you. I¡¯m not even mad. I¡¯m just¡ª¡± ¡°Irrationally jealous.¡± ¡°Yeah, basically.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± Tamn raised an eyebrow. ¡°Do you?¡± ¡°You have been with Cam sexually.¡± Tamn considered this for a moment, looking up into the grayish air. ¡°True. Off and on for the better part of a year.¡± Stolen story; please report. ¡°You are important to him.¡± Tamn¡¯s eyes narrowed in thought before he sagged back into his seat. He sighed. ¡°Before all this happened, I tried to ask him to spend time with me outside of sex and he shut me down. And I blame you.¡± Hermes'' brows raised. ¡°You¡¯re too hot to compete with. It actually kind of pisses me off.¡± ¡°I do not think Cam considered me a close companion until very recently. Your anger is misplaced.¡± And Tamn was angry. The tightness in his jaw, the elevated heart rate, and his pointed, hostile stare¡ª The person who targeted Dr. Wha and Hermes was someone already aboard Soter. Tamn didn¡¯t necessarily have access to request missions, but he was a security analyst, and was likely one of the crewmen responsible for designating T-446 as safe for contact. And Tamn consistently mentioned that Hermes was not a naturally born human¡ªsomething the Anti-I movement purported every opportunity. To Tamn, and the Anti-Is, Hermes was just a soulless robot. ¡°Do you hate me?¡± Hermes asked. Tamn¡¯s jaw tightened. ¡°Sometimes.¡± Enough to want him dead? He could find out. The realization dawned like a distant sun outside the ship window. Hermes could find out. He stood up. Tamn, looking confused, gave him a once-over. "What are you doing?" Hermes walked over and extended his arm, palm up. "May I please hold your hand?" Tamn blinked, eyes round. And then he said, "No." Hermes continued to hold out his hand and ruminated on his options. He could just¡ªgrab some part of Tamn if he wanted. But that seemed inappropriate. While he was thinking of alternatives, Tamn sighed. "Fine. Here." He stood up and placed his hand upon Hermes'' open fingers. The initial stab of pain was expected and passed with a patient exhale. Hermes gently curled his hand around Tamn''s thick, stony skin, and looked him in the eyes. "Are you part of the Anti-I movement?" "What the fuck?" The religious nutjobs from Earth? Is this guy a fucking idiot or what? He''s lucky he''s good-looking, because he¡¯s rude as hell. "Are you seriously accusing me of killing Dr. Wha? Of killing all those crewmen? Fuck you, Hermes." Tamn snatched his hand away, but not before thinking, You''re not worth the loss of all those lives. How dare you accuse me of this heinous shit. "I am not accusing you," Hermes said. "It was a simple inquiry." "Your inquiry was an accusation, you¡ª" "You are not part of the Anti-I. You hate me because I am me, not because I am unnatural." "Glad that''s crystal fucking clear." Tamn looked down at his palm and then at Hermes. "What did you do to me?" "Do? I did not do anything." Tamn snatched Hermes'' hand again and Hermes wasn¡¯t expecting the jolt this time so he winced, visibly. ¡°I know you did something, Hermes. I''m not stupid.¡± Not like you, anyway. Hermes tried to pull his hand back, but Tamn held it firm. "Answer the question, Hermes. What did you do?" Hermes, nervously, thought of Cam and his warning to keep his telepathy hidden. Tamn jumped backward, as if burned by a flame, and flagged his hand. ¡°Ow. What the shit was that?¡± ¡°What?¡± He looked from his hand to Hermes and back again. "I heard you. Like, in your head. I could hear your thoughts. You''re¡ªyou''re fucking telepathic? Since when?" ¡°You heard my thoughts.¡± ¡°You thought about Cam and how he told you to hide your telepathy. Yeah.¡± Hermes looked at his fingers, eyes wide. ¡°That is new.¡± ¡°New? How long have you been telepathic?¡± ¡°Since T-446.¡± There was no use hiding it now¡ªTamn knew the truth. ¡°But I have not been able to telepathically share my thoughts before now. I could only hear the thoughts of others.¡± Tamn went silent for a minute, eyes tracking over the air as he thought. ¡°You were checking my thoughts to see if I''m the traitor.¡± He looked up, eyes narrowed. ¡°Which I''m not, and I''m still insulted you''d think so.¡± ¡°You hate me. It was not out of the realm of possibility.¡± ¡°I work in security, dipshit. My job is to keep people safe. I would never¡ª¡± ¡°I know this now.¡± Tamn crossed his arms. ¡°And I don''t hate you enough to kill you.¡± Hermes nodded. After a moment, Tamn said, ¡°No one knows you can do this. Except Cam. Not even Shear?¡± ¡°Only Cam. And now you.¡± ¡°We can find the traitor, then. Do what you just did to me, but to the rest of the staff. But¡ª¡± Tamn sighed and reached back to rub at the back of his neck, like his muscles were sore. ¡°¡ªwe''d have to keep it low-key. Cam was right, probably. We can''t let anyone know.¡± ¡°For my own safety.¡± ¡°For your own advantage,¡± Tamn said. ¡°Having an element of surprise is more powerful than the power itself.¡± Hermes would learn, eventually, how true that was. ¡°And even if I hate you¡ªwhich, by the way, hate is kind of a strong word¡ªit¡¯s my job to keep you safe. You don¡¯t know me, so you don¡¯t know, but I¡¯m very fucking good at my job.¡± ¡°Captain Shear employs the best in their fields,¡± Hermes agreed. He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably before stepping back. ¡°I apologize for inadvertently implying you are inadequate in your position. But it¡¯s appropriate to suspect almost everyone aboard Soter. The ¡®traitor¡¯ is likely a highly skilled individual themselves. ¡± ¡°Yeah, probably. That¡¯s why I¡¯m going to teach you how to fight,¡± said Tamn. ¡°You¡¯re¡ªwhat?¡± ¡°Tomorrow morning. We¡¯re going to the training quarter. And I¡¯m going to teach you how to defend yourself.¡± Fighting? Hermes didn¡¯t have any interest in violence. Quite the opposite. ¡°I am more inclined to solve problems through intensive discussion.¡± A flash of red¡ªthe blood of the Earthlings he killed on T-446 with their own weapon¡ªcolored his vision. Hermes winced at the memory. ¡°I did not enjoy fighting on the mission.¡± ¡°I know,¡± Tamn said, and he didn¡¯t sound mad or frustrated for once. He sounded almost¡ªkind. ¡°You¡¯re annoying, but you¡¯re a pretty gentle guy. I know. You have to trust me, though. Learning how to defend myself was the only way I recovered from what happened to me. And training isn¡¯t inherently violent. It¡¯s just exercise.¡± ¡°Something happened to you?¡± Hermes tilted his head. ¡°You experienced a traumatic event in your youth.¡± ¡°About ten years back, yes. I saw a lot of people die. Fighting helped with my recovery. And I¡¯ll sleep easier knowing that you can at least dodge out of the way occasionally if something like this ever happened to you again.¡± Hermes was still uncertain. ¡°Cam and Falco are joining us. They just confirmed it. 0800.¡± Cam? ¡°I see. I suppose I am amenable.¡± Tamn reached up and patted Hermes¡¯ shoulder in a manner that was almost condescending. ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± Tamn thought, as he stepped away: Amenable definitely means ¡®horny for Cam.¡¯ Training Falco reminded Cam of his little brother. Redheaded. Highly trained. An expert in human nature. And being a total fucking dick about it. Hermes and Cam were assigned separate temporary quarters with bonus beds to accommodate their bodyguard-babysitters and Falco had somehow tricked Cam into choosing the bed by the door instead of the bed by the window even though this particular sleeping quarters had a unique, coveted view of the Whathen constellation. Dr. Wha¡¯s family was actually named for it. And Cam, instead, willingly chose the bed that faced a slightly textured gray wall. He wasn¡¯t even sure how it happened. Reverse psychology bullshit. ¡°Do you think you¡¯re smarter than me?¡± asked Cam, curled beneath his blanket, big blue eyes narrowed to slits. Falco didn¡¯t look up from the digipad in his lap, reclined atop his bed with his ankles crossed. ¡°I can¡¯t do math as quickly as you can, no.¡± ¡°That¡¯s definitely not what I asked.¡± The corners of Falco¡¯s mouth tilted up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry; is something funny?¡± ¡°No.¡± He was outright grinning now. Cam punched the pillow behind himself and rolled over so he no longer had to look at Falco¡¯s annoying, smug face. ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m going to sleep.¡± ¡°It¡¯s only 2000.¡± ¡°I¡¯m tired,¡± Cam said¡ªand he honestly was. ¡°And we need to be well-rested for training tomorrow.¡± Falco snorted. Cam rolled back over. ¡°Do you have something to say?¡± ¡°You¡¯re so touchy,¡± Falco mumbled, tapping at his digipad. ¡°Go to sleep, Cameron.¡± Falco was a trained Earthguard combatant and could definitely kick Cam¡¯s ass, but Cam was still very tempted to jump him and start swinging. Soen could probably beat Falco in a fight. He wondered if he could ask, on the down-low, for a ¡°demonstration¡± during their combat training in the morning. The concept of Soen laying Falco out flat settled Cam¡¯s frayed nerves enough for him to finally close his eyes. When he opened them again, it was six in the morning. He sat up with a gasp, rubbed his eyes, and looked around in the darkness, heart thundering. His hands outstretched to find something, but his sleep-addled brain couldn¡¯t figure it out¡ª The realization bubbled up, finally, and he sagged back against his pillow. He was reaching for Hermes. He groaned in touch-deprived anguish. ¡°Hold a guy for thirty hours and suddenly you wanna hold him for the rest of your life,¡± he mumbled into the quiet. ¡°Are you talking in your sleep?¡± Falco asked from the neighboring bed. Cam groaned, but loudly this time. ¡°Why are you here?¡± ¡°Well, I was sleeping, but I suppose that¡¯s over with, now.¡± If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Cam ignored him, made his way to the bathroom, and got ready for the day. He took his sweet time showering, styling his hair half-up, and trimming his nails, all of which took nearly an hour. He was pleased to find a visibly-annoyed Falco waiting outside the door when he opened it. ¡°Oh,¡± Cam feigned shock. ¡°Did you need to use the bathroom?¡± Falco didn¡¯t reply. He pushed past Cam and shut the door with an aggressive click. They didn¡¯t exchange any other words until they reached the training quarter. Cam led the way to the combat mats¡ªwhich were cleared save for Soen and Hermes. Cam¡¯s heart skipped a beat when he saw Hermes and he smiled in honest joy. ¡°Hey,¡± he said, and Hermes turned. When they met eyes, Cam nearly threw himself into Hermes¡¯ big, strapping, bare arms. He was a sight for sore, horny eyes, wearing a cropped tank that showed off the hard line of his abs above a fitted pair of high-waisted leggings. Cam, through sheer force of will, didn¡¯t let himself do more than glance at the well-shaped cup between Hermes¡¯ legs. Hermes¡¯ hands twitched like he had an identical compulsion to jump into Cam¡¯s embrace, but he restrained himself and, instead, bowed his head politely. ¡°Good morning, Cam.¡± Cam gave in and glanced at the leggings again. He¡¯d never seen Hermes wear something so fitted and it was honestly more erotic than him being outright naked. He was glad Hermes wasn¡¯t reading his mind, because it was simply screaming, in the highest possible pitch, Tight leggings very fitted look nice look soft he¡¯s so hot look at the size of his bulge that¡¯s his dick right there it¡¯s right there I¡¯m dying dear sweet god help me. Soen burst into a laugh and Cam pulled his eyes away, face going fully cherry red. ¡°Shut up, Soen,¡± he barked. Hermes tilted his head, confused. Falco moved over to the mat and began to stretch, ignoring them all. ¡°You should thank me,¡± said Soen. ¡°I talked him into changing into something fitted. Less fabric for attackers to grab.¡± Cam shot Soen a very embarrassed glare. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡± He snorted. ¡°Let¡¯s stretch for a few¡ª¡± he glanced at Falco and nodded. ¡°Then we can start the training.¡± Cam made sure to turn away from Hermes as he bent over, because he didn¡¯t need to go through the next few hours of combat while fully torqued. It turned out arousal wasn¡¯t an issue because Soen worked them mercilessly hard. The combination of Earthling and Medese martial arts was tricky enough to keep Cam fully engaged for two hours, sweat plastering his hair across his face, muscles aching, breathing heavy. He wound up fighting opposite Falco because the size difference between him and Soen and Hermes was too great to accurately learn the moves. ¡°Now if you swing left¡ª¡± Soen directed Cam, ¡°You can duck here¡ª¡± Cam lifted the flat of his palm like he¡¯d been taught and hit Falco squarely upon his solar plexus, which sent him stumbling backward. Cam raised his fist, ¡°Yeah!¡± ¡°Nice,¡± Soen agreed. ¡°You¡¯re not bad at this.¡± Technically he¡¯d taken rudimentary combat classes while in the Earthguard, but his success here was because Soen was a surprisingly good teacher. Cam smiled and turned to find Hermes, to see if maybe he was impressed¡ª And saw him staring at the space behind the treadmills. Cam blinked, confused, and walked over. ¡°Hermes?¡± Hermes turned away from the space he¡¯d been analyzing. ¡°What is it?¡± Hermes shook his head. ¡°Nothing. I keep feeling like I am going to see Dr. Wha walk through the doors. Like she is going to go on her daily run.¡± Cam¡¯s heart felt shattered. He wanted to reach out and pat him in comfort but¡ª He couldn¡¯t. Not with Hermes¡¯ telepathy still untrained. Not in public. Cam looked back to the treadmills and remembered the conversation he had with Qhat, when she asked him to join the mission to T-446. She seemed so confident it was going to be safe¡ªthere¡¯s no way she would have risked Cam and Hermes¡¯ lives¡ª He still felt like he was missing something. ¡°It¡¯s going to be an easy one,¡± Cam mumbled, her exact words floating through his mind. Even the ghost of her memory was warm and kind. She wanted her protege to have a friend and a confidant in Cam. He knew now that she wanted an ally because Hermes was being maliciously threatened by someone else nearby. She probably knew Cam was well-liked on Soter, and she probably believed he would help Hermes¡¯ overall reputation. And despite all the tragedy that came after, Cam would never fault her for trying. ¡°I think we can call it a day,¡± Soen said, stepping between Cam and Hermes, clapping his hands to break their brooding silence. ¡°You guys did good. You¡¯ll be sore tomorrow.¡± Hermes nodded and Falco gestured to Cam when he turned away. ¡°We have to go change and head to the investigation HQ in conference 2. I¡¯ve got some data to go over. You can bring a digipad to watch TV or something, if you want.¡± Cam sighed. He didn¡¯t want to leave Hermes. Especially like this, with him staring with hollow eyes at the memories of his surrogate mom. Soen stepped in front of Hermes and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go grab an early lunch.¡± Hermes was quiet for a moment before he said, voice soft, ¡°Alright.¡±