ã€ŠDeifiedã€‹


 1.0: In the Beginning

    They say the universe began when The Seven awoke. While even they could not verify the nature of this claim for all intents and purposes it was true for as far as they could tell none had existed in this world prior to them. It was certainly not a world that birthed life easily for there was nothing in it, no suns, no moons, no planets, plants, people and not even a single atom. This empty void had not even created them for they say, they had been brought here from another reality entirely.

    They say The Seven were formless when first brought here, although the truly devout followers of Scientia have heard it said that before their arrival, they had forms much like a hufolk. Each had gone to bed, their lives normal and humble and awoke to find themselves in complete and utter darkness, with no feeling, no sight and no sound.

    Many screamed an internal scream, with no mouth to make any true noise with and desperately thrashed with limbs that were not there. Others tried to remain calm, imagined themselves breathing deep breaths and assured themselves it was just a dream. And it is said, just one of The Seven began his experiments, and in doing, began the first act of creation.

    Acknowledging his lack of sight, he attempted to move his body and quickly realised that he couldn¡¯t feel anything. This worried him, of course, but less so than the others.

    ¡°A dream?¡± he thought curiously ¡°Or perhaps this is death? I certainly hope not, an eternity of conscious nothingness would be boooorrrinnng. Okay. So, let¡¯s assume this is a dream. Why am I able to think? If this truly is a dream then¡­Yes! At last! A lucid dream!

    What he willed became true and a pair of eyes formed out of the nothingness, the first physical thing to appear in this universe. They were yellow and cruel, with no iris and a small glittering pupil in their centre. At first, he saw nothing and worried his assumptions were wrong and that he was truly dead after all. But then, instinctually, he blinked, and he felt his eyelid touch his eye and rejoiced!

    In front of his eyes, he created his hands, slowly and carefully, each long black claw perfectly bent and crooked, his red skin strangely leathery and the backs of his hands covered in mangy hair. Enraptured, he grew the rest of his arm, gifting himself incredible muscles and thick yellow veins which pulsated in time with the heart he had yet to create. His torso and legs were given the same treatment, each as muscular as his arms, his toenails as clawed as his fingernails and sprouting from his back came a long-pointed tail. At last came his face, sharp and menacing.

    First came his chin, jutting out from his head. Then came his mouth, grinning with teeth, filed down to a point. The skin kept growing, giving him nose and ears, before flowing around those vicious eyes and over his head. He neglected to give himself hair, instead opting to sprout two curved obsidian horns from each side of his skull. And thus, born was Damon, God of Evil.

    ¡°To all those who despise me¡± he declared, voice raspy and theatrical, yet a little uncertain as if he was testing it for the first time, ¡°you had better be afraid. For all you who avoid me, won¡¯t date me and would rather cancel me than appreciate me, I have the power in my own mind. And I-¡°

    He was cut off. An eighth being appeared out of the nothingness. Dismissively, Damon tried to wave the new figure away as they were not part of his perfect dream, before realising he couldn¡¯t and he vanished his physical form to reassess the situation, thoughts of revenge still on his mind.

    Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    To say the figure was bright would be an understatement. Their outline was barely visible amongst the shining aura that surrounded them, a light so radiant that those who had not made their forms yet could still see it, for you did not need eyes to witness this light, for it was a divine light, visible to all.

    Even Damon, with the powerful eyes he had created could not properly make out the figure within the light, only barely being able to identify a humanoid form and he certainly could not make out the figure opening his mouth to speak.

    ¡°Welcome, to your world, ye gifted and do not be afraid!¡± Did they even open their mouth to talk? The words had appeared in The Sevens minds, a fact that we should all be grateful for, for our creators had not yet created ears to hear with.

    The voice, they say, was neither deep nor, high, nor any pitch in between. It was not loud, nor quiet, and it had no accent to speak of, no fluctuations in tone, no personality at all. And yet, when the voice was heard, you heard the mood of its speaker, heard the exclamation marks, carelessly tossed into each sentence. It was a grand voice and yet one utterly alien to The Seven and all their creations.

    The voice came again. ¡°I am God and you are my creations! Ye of Earth, I made your universe many billions of years ago in an act of utter boredom, when I became no longer content to stare into the nothingness of the abyss any longer! And lo, for billions of years I was content again to watch the universe form, delighting in the spin of dust as it formed suns and planets, watching those grander specks of dust spin and spin, occasionally crashing or exploding in wonderful displays of force! Alas, I grew bored again! But as I considered my second act of creation a miracle happened! Not one of my own design, no, but a miracle of one seemingly insignificant corner of the cosmos! Earth! It had formed life without my knowledge and by the time I paid it the attention it deserved I found something incredible! I had been usurped, no longer the lone creator of the universe, as these small ¡°humans¡± had created things of their own! Ah, and the thing I was most marvelled by was meaning! You ¡°humans¡± had created meaning from the accident from which you were born and told wonderful stories of gods creating the Earth, the stars and mankind itself! These stories evolved and soon you created many more stories and entertainment and I delighted to watch the birth of ¡°the video game¡±, the ¡°musical theatre¡± and the ¡°GAME SHOW¡±! Devices meant to engage and immerse a player, stories told in mediums bizarre and strange and shows made for its audience to watch the struggle of your fellow man, pray for their success and reward, or their failure and occasional punishment! I have been moved into my second act of creation! I have given you ¡°humans¡± the true power of creation you always desired, the world of gods and purposeful creation that of which you have always dreamed! Consider it my own game show, as I will watch your struggles with great enjoyment! Create a world for me, one of your ¡°fantasy genre¡± worlds and if you please me, you may be rewarded and if you fail I shall with heavy heart enact your punishment! Do not disappoint now, ye seven, the powers of true creation are at your fingertips, wish it and it shall be done! Go forth! Make your world!¡±

    The light winked out and the universe was dark once again. There was a pause as the seven couldn¡¯t even coherently think, so amazed they were, so scared they were and how excited they were. But the silence of the universe would soon be interrupted by a loud pop as a woman burst into existence, fully formed, an exact replica as she was in her past life. And thus, born was Naturum, Goddess of Nature.

    Her eyes sparkled with delight and her blonde hair shone, her mouth twitched into an excited, nervous smile.

    ¡°Well, guess we¡¯re gonna be making a world together for a wierdo god on pain of death! Worst. Group project. Ever.¡± And thus, with this sunny utterance began the meeting of the gods.

 1.1: Thus, Born Were The Gods

    Damon watched cautiously as Naturum popped into existence. He was still invisible after seeing a being claiming itself to be God and was still not sure what to make of all this. Was this all still a dream? Did lucid dreams always give you complete control of the dream world? And if this wasn¡¯t a dream¡­could he still create his violent personal utopia regardless?

    He studied the figure in front of him, who sat on a comfy chair she had conjured into existence and was looking around expectantly at the endless void around her. Damon scowled. She looked like a na?ve fool who would wholeheartedly believe the voice of this ¡°God¡± and not even doubt for a second that this world they¡¯d found themselves in wasn¡¯t real. Her hair was medium length and golden, her face round, young and friendly, her smile innocent and beaming. The clothes she wore were fairly typical, some shirt with a tacky overly enthusiastic message that Damon haughtily dismissed and some basic jeans.

    With a sneer, Damon noticed one curious detail and egotistically assured himself only he could notice such a thing. Her eyes betrayed her inner doubts, darting anxiously about too much to not suggest nervousness and by the crease of her brow and slight fakeness of her smile¡­she was sad? Damon couldn¡¯t understand it. If what God said was true, they had absolute power and if this was a dream it would be over soon, so what reason was there to be sad? He thought a moment and with a sneer thought he¡¯d figured it out. She was sad she couldn¡¯t get home, wasn¡¯t she? Experimentally Damon reached out with his mind and tried to create a portal back home. Nothing happened. They were trapped in God¡¯s bizarre game show.

    The God of Evil considered his next move carefully. Here was a problem, someone who would most likely oppose his cruel dreams and if what ¡°God¡± said is true, there were five more of the bastards out there, each equally likely to complicate his plans for complete control over this universe. He wondered if he could kill them while hidden, like the most perfect assassin, able to wipe out his foes without them noticing, with nothing but the power of his mind. With a thought he tried to wipe this intruder from existence but like with the so-called God she seemed not to notice and started waving into the blank expanse, calling out and asking if anyone was there.

    ¡°So.¡± Damon thought, a grin spreading out across his face, ¡°I shall have to undermine them subtly, earn universal control through machinations and schemes.¡± It wasn¡¯t what Damon had hoped for, when he¡¯d believed he could dream of a world where he tortured those who¡¯d wronged him.

    ¡°But this could be fun regardless¡± the voice in his head hissed, ¡°but we should change our form into something a little less¡­obvious.¡±

    Naturum, chair abandoned had begun to pace across the floor of this strange new world, occasionally yelling into the nothingness around her.

    ¡°Yoohoo! Can¡¯t make a world by myself now y¡¯all! Where are you?¡±

    Nothing. No response. She sighed and continued pacing up and down this¡­wait. This is a void. How was she walking? The thought had barely crossed her mind before she began to fall through the space she¡¯d been standing in and desperately created some nice, carpeted floor to stop her fall and, gracefully, she smashed into it.

    ¡°Ow. Being a god doesn¡¯t mean no pain, huh?¡±

    Just how had she been standing without it anyway? Had she made it subconsciously? She could do that?? Woah.

    ¡°Wait. I¡¯m standing on floor cos I made that. But how come there¡¯s gravity?¡± and as she questioned that she began to float upwards. ¡°Shit. Appear gravity¡± she yelled, pointing beneath her carpeted floor, an entirely unnecessary process but cos no ones looking it couldn¡¯t hurt to indulge right? Once again, she crashed into her soft, yet not soft enough floor and unbeknownst to her, a malicious entity laughed as he praised himself for creating himself floating.

    ¡°Right¡± she muttered, ¡°no more interrogating all the stuff I subconsciously made.¡±

    ¡°Like light?¡± her inner monologue asked as her carpeted floor winked out of sight. Above her the dark god blinked in shock as he no longer looked over at his new form. So, there was something he hadn¡¯t considered.

    ¡°What about air?¡± the woman¡¯s thoughts continued.

    She paused expectantly before concluding ¡°Huh. Don¡¯t need to breath. Perks of divinity I suppose.¡±

    ¡°Right. Gotta sort out light. Wait that rhymes! Gotta sort out this light blight, it¡¯s a serious plight, gotta do it before others a¡­rrive.¡±

    She sighed again before pointing her hand dramatically into the sky. It was with very little enthusiasm she said ¡°Let there be light.¡±

    Now Damon could see once more he saw the disappointment on her face before she waved her hands and a clear blue sky appeared alongside the sun. He checked himself out in the mirror he¡¯d created and smiled.

    ¡°Looking good, looking good. Now, time to reveal myself!¡±

    Naturum sat dejectedly in a chair (a new one, the old one was falling endlessly through this depressing emptiness) and wondered for the last time when somebody else was gonna show up. Her head poked up as she heard a noise and saw, stepping grandly out of air that rippled to part around him, a brand-new figure at last!

    His form was silver and resplendent, with two pure white wings sprouting magnificently from his back and a golden halo and golden robes tastefully accentuated his holy glow. Still, even as she tried to ignore these frankly rude thoughts, the woman who would become a nature goddess thought he looked like he was trying a bit too hard to look cool. Like, was this much muscle really necessary and did his face have to be an exact copy of Chris Hemsworth¡¯s?

    Still, she smiled, waved and exclaimed ¡°Woah. Hello. Finally, another person, nice to meet you. Can¡¯t believe I was the first one here, I¡¯m usually late. But I suppose that¡¯s cos of time management skills? Like, if we all started at the same point, I suppose I would be first cos I¡¯m used to rushing? Wait, talking too much! Nerves. I¡¯m Holly, nice to meet you!¡±

    The radiant figure smiled back, although privately he was already done with this lunatic, and was internally mocking her claim that she was ¡°first¡±. ¡°Greetings. I am Damon and-¡°

    ¡°Wait, really, Damon?¡± she interrupted. ¡°Wait, sorry that was rude. To be fair, that does not sound like a real name.¡±

    Stolen story; please report.

    Damon stiffened. This whole blending in thing was already going to be harder than he thought. Memories of failing to talk at school flashed through his mind but he held them back. This was different. He was omnipotent now, and more importantly anonymous. It was just like talking online.

    ¡°Well, Damon is my surname, but I thought it an appropriate name to adopt. Going around calling each other by our first names wouldn¡¯t exactly inspire holy reverence now, would it?¡± A lie. In the old world Damon¡¯s surname was Smith but he¡¯d chosen Damon because it sounded like demon and he believed he could slip that fact underneath everyone¡¯s noses and flaunt his evilness without giving anything away.

    Regardless of whether Holly bought his explanation she replied ¡°Oooohhhh smart. I should probably come up with some cool god name and god form of my own. Introductions first though! I¡¯m from England and I¡¯m 19! You sound like you¡¯re from England too right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I am from England and I¡¯m 34.¡± Another lie. Damon was the youngest of the seven, not yet 18, but he wanted to claim seniority if the need came.

    Holly opened her mouth to respond with a new flurry of words when a loud boom echoed behind her. Exploding into physical space came a new figure. One arm made of flickering fire, another made of flowing water, his head a spark of lightning adorned with wide, almost manic eyes, a crazy grin and no legs, instead beneath his torso was a swirling tornado keeping himself in the air. Speaking of his torso, it was an amalgamation of all the other elements, lightning, fire, water, air, all swirling in a chaotic maelstrom of force.

    ¡°Yoooo, you guys! We¡¯re fucking Gods! WOOOOOOOOO!¡±

    And thus, born was Rizzleritchensteineonizziism the first ever, God of Magic

    The other deities were unsurprisingly shocked by the explosion and subsequent explosive outburst but Holly was quick(ish) to recover. ¡°Yeah, I suppose we are, huh. Nice to meet you, I¡¯m Holly-¡°

    Immediately cutting her off Rizzleritchensteineonizziism cried ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m Rizzleritchensteineonizziism the first ever, nice to meet you, when we gonna make stuff?¡±

    Holly blinked in shock while Damon suppressed his urge to roll his eyes at another claiming his rightful title of ¡°first¡±.

    Still, Holly attempted to answer as brightly as possible. ¡°Um, I guess when everyone else comes through? We should probably talk everything through first, y¡¯know this is a group project we all gotta be in agreement-¡°

    ¡°Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, okay, when they gonna be here?¡±

    As if on cue a human appeared opposite Rizzleritchensteineonizziism who was only visible for the briefest of moments before Holly¡¯s gravity took hold and they began to plummet through infinity. And thus, born was Loma, God of Geography.

    With a wince, Holly began to extend her carpet as Damon failed to suppress a snort. After a moment, the new god slowly floated up and landed upon the one floor in the universe.

    ¡°Sorry, sorry, sorry¡± cried out Holly, ¡°didn¡¯t think about how gravity would affect y¡¯all. You alright?¡± She conjured 6 new chairs, which both Damon and the new god sat on. Rizzleritchensteineonizziism stood (floated?) and still practically shook with energy.

    The 4<sup>th</sup> being smiled very faintly and in a somewhat hoarse voice responded ¡°No, no, I¡¯m fine. A little shell shocked but what hasn¡¯t been a shock since I went to sleep last night?¡±

    He was in the form he¡¯d had in his past life, a bit round, with the scraggly beginnings of a beard and curly dark brown hair. He was sweating a little, and his face was red and out of breath from screaming. ¡°Well. Nice to meet you I suppose, or at least, as nice to meet you as it can be given the circumstances. My names Mark-¡°

    ¡°Whats your god name¡± asked Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, interrupting once again.

    Mark paused and looked confused. ¡°Should I have one? I only just got here.¡±

    ¡°I have one¡± Rizzleritchensteineonizziism exclaimed. ¡°It¡¯s Rizzleritchensteineonizziism!¡±

    Mark paled. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you accept nicknames? How about Richard, or Rich?¡±

    ¡°No! I am Rizzleritchensteineonizziism!¡± cried Rich as the others collectively breathed a sigh of relief as they decided as one not to remember that monster of a name.

    The introductions concluded as Holly introduced herself and Damon. Mark looked around at the empty seats curiously and asked ¡°So, is this all of us?¡±

    ¡°NO.¡± A new voice bold and loud, old and wise shook the floor that yet consisted of the entirety of existence (excluding a chair, still hurtling through an endless expanse). Stepping into reality was a tall man, human, with the exemption of his Ibis head, wrapped in an Egyptian loincloth, adorned with blue and gold bracelets and anklets, clutching a black staff in one hand and a notebook in the other. And thus, born was Scientia, God of Knowledge.

    Or at least, so he¡¯d have you believe. Truth be told he was the first to realise that this could not be a dream and created some basic senses to observe. After watching Damon create himself, he made his own form, styled unsubtly on Thoth, and then made a notebook to record all that transpired in this new world. By the time God had told The Seven their new roles were that of gods, Scientia knew his purpose. Before the others had even thought of allocating specialities, he declared himself God of Knowledge and swore to create the perfect encyclopaedia of this world, detailing all its history, species, science(/magic), geography and civilisations.

    He would share some of the knowledge he knew, but we would never share this, not even with his most loyal worshippers. Thus, from the perspective of all others in this loreless new world, the first was Damon. Why did Scientia observe the others for so long before appearing to join the meeting? If pressed he would argue that it is because he wanted to observe their natures with his own influence absent. But the truth, this special bit of knowledge only Scientia knows is he was nervous. It¡¯s all very well knowing how to make a grand entrance, how to socialise with your peers. It¡¯s another thing to have the confidence to do so.

    ¡°Oh my god! Oh my me? Wow, welcome to our universe¡± exclaimed Holly. ¡°Are there any others waiting to appear?¡± A pair of eyes appeared in the empty space next to Holly, nervous and unsure. You see, unlike Damon or Scientia the sixth to appear had no ideas of what god-like form to take and certainly not enough confidence to commit to one in front of the others. She had no love of her old form and would rather never appear at all than to appear in it.

    She had, in fact, been procrastinating this whole time over what form to take and in an act of desperation, created eyes to see what everyone else had gone with. What she saw with those eyes was everyone else staring back at her. She gulped (or would of if she had created herself a throat) and hastily threw together the form of a generic human, hidden beneath a plain hoodie. And thus, born was Aomy, Goddess of Civilisation.

    ¡°Okay, hopefully final round of introductions¡± announced Holly. ¡°I¡¯m Holly, this silver chap is Damon,¡±

    ¡°Greetings.¡±

    ¡°This is Rich.¡±

    ¡°Rizzleritchensteineonizziism the first ever! Full names!¡±

    ¡°And finally, this is Mark¡±

    ¡°Helloo¡±

    ¡°And you two are?¡±

    Scientia declined to answer as in a shock he realised that caught up in his observations he hadn¡¯t come up with a good name. This just left Aomy to look around, panic, gulped (for real this time) and stutter ¡°I uh- don¡¯t know yet?¡±

    Damon sneered. ¡°What do you mean you don¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°Bored!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°Everyone¡¯s here let¡¯s make some stuff!¡± and with a wave of his fiery hand a huge, flat plain of dirt appeared. And thus, with this impulsive act began the age of creation.

 1.2: The Age of Creation (and Arguments)

    ¡°Stop it!¡±

    ¡°Hold on¡±

    ¡°Oh me!¡±

    The cries of all The Seven confident enough to talk rang out as Rich surveyed his handiwork with a smile. To call it land would be to spit in the face of any of Earth, the homeland of The Seven¡¯s, natural features and would soon become a mockery of all that would be made in this new universe. It was scarcely better than the void, as it was as lifeless and uninteresting as the world was when The Seven awoke.

    It was impossibly flat, each grain of dirt perfectly evenly spaced, and it stretched to each corner of the horizon. An endless sea of brown, for no life grew here, it was truly nothing more than endless soil, with a carpet and some chairs at its centre. However, that was about to change.

    Ignoring the cries of the other young gods, Rich held out his hand of flowing water and cried ¡°Arise, ARISE, MY CREATIONS!¡±

    Across the plains several hands shot out from the ground, creating a small pool of human hands struggling and straining to escape the soil they¡¯d been buried in.

    ¡°They¡¯re alive¡± whispered Rich, his tone full of awe, his grin stretching to each side of his thin lightning bolt face.

    Soon, many of these new beings emerged from their dirt prisons and sat blinking in the light of the first day. There was roughly a hundred of them, all young, seemingly around 20 years of age despite having lived not even a day. They all seemed fairly ordinary, excluding the shades of their hair which alongside the shades natural for humans and hufolk were coloured every hue of the rainbow. The clothes they were dressed in, too were ordinary for civilians of a fantasy world, looking much like more inexplicitly well-off medieval peasants.

    Many regarded this as a blessing, the ideas of modesty and embarrassment having been planted into their heads at birth. Many others considered the ¡°rules¡± of society and clothes a bit ridiculous, having never been pressured into them or internalised them over a lifetime of living in a world where these rules were in place. Regardless of how humble their appearances seemed, or their personal philosophies on clothing, these one hundred were special. For these were to become The Ancients, the first new life in this new world.

    Many of them looked around, curious as to their surroundings. Many drifted toward each other and began to converse, wondering what had happened, where they were, who they were and marvelling at the concept of their own existence. It was not long before each group began to converge on the one unique feature of the bizarre landscape, the one place that may lead them to the answers to their questions. A strange carpet, with chairs (which these new beings knew the names off, the knowledge they were born with a wonder to them) and beings both ordinary and strange. Yes, if any knew the secrets of their origins, it would be these marvellous beings. A word sprang to mind in the heads of many of the hundred. Gods.

    The gods, with the exception of Rich, looked on in shock and in some cases horror as the new lifeforms approached, each slowly realising they didn¡¯t know how to address these people or what their fellow gods would do. It was Mark who acted first.

    ¡°I call for a private meeting of the gods¡± he said, before raising a huge pillar of stone into the air, carrying carpet, gods and chairs high into the air.

    The ancients looked on, bemused, but not offended. They were too innocent, many having never been slighted at all before and, with little knowledge of social interactions other than the knowledge put into their heads, they shrugged, made theories with each other about the gods retreat and generally milled about at the base of the pillar.

    ¡°What the fuck were you thinking?!¡± cried Damon as he shook Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, who flailed desperately, splashing water from one arm and fire from the other as he tried to escape the winged god¡¯s grasp.

    ¡°This is why we¡¯re here right? We make stuff! And I did that! I made a stuff! You can¡¯t be mad at me, I¡¯m the one doing what the scary boy said to do, you¡¯re all slackers and boring! Look!¡± and to accentuate his point and further dig his own grave Rich waved his fiery hand and hundreds of feet below a plume of magma burst from the ground at the edge of the flat plain he¡¯d created. The ancients below, who were far enough away to be safe ooh¡¯d and aah¡¯d. The gods above were a little less pleased.

    Damon slapped Rich, with a clap that rang out across all creation. ¡°Stop it¡± he hissed.

    The god¡¯s obelisk was silent and still. The gods were somewhat stunned and it took a moment for any of them to recover. It took even Holly, the most talkative of the bunch a while to say anything. It had been a long day.

    Eventually, she said in a quiet voice ¡°Damon, don¡¯t do that. Rich, I know how you feel, and I can understand your impatience, but this is a big undertaking, and we all have to work on it together. We¡¯ll need to plan what we¡¯re doing because if we all act recklessly, everything will fall apart eventually.¡± It was hard to tell what Rich was thinking with a head as alien as his. But some signs of hurt and guilt were universal such as his head being lowered and facing away from Damon and his body being hunched and tense. ¡°Is that understood Rich?¡± Slowly, he nodded.

    ¡°Well then¡± Holly continued in a brighter tone ¡°as I joked about at the start of the universe, when none of you were around to hear¡± Scientia stiffened and Damon suppressed another eye roll, ¡°this is a group project! And, like group projects you¡¯ve had to do during uni, and school or whatever, we all gotta talk about what we¡¯re doing and allocate work accordingly. So-¡°

    Damon cut her off. He didn¡¯t like how she was assuming control of the group and so, as innocently as he could get away with, he interjected ¡°I propose we deal with the problem of the life down there. Let¡¯s discuss that, as that is urgent, then we shall all allocate our future responsibilities.¡± He looked around at the others. A bit of stink eyes from Holly and that one fool who doesn¡¯t know her own name but apart from that, no one¡¯s so much as blinked at his seizing of control. Perfect.

    ¡°Well, obviously we can¡¯t just kill them, that¡¯d be cruel.¡± That was Mark, slowly thinking out loud as he pondered the problem.

    ¡°Maybe we should de-age them?¡± This was Holly. ¡°I mean, seems kinda unfair that they start life at like, twenty, they won¡¯t get a full life.¡±

    ¡°Untrue!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, some of his earlier enthusiasm restored but his voice still far shakier than before. He looked around at the others proudly and declared ¡°I made them immortal!¡±

    There was silence on the gods pillar once more, but it was blessedly shorter this time.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.Coldly and quietly, Damon hissed ¡°Why?¡±

    Rich looked over at Damon and flinched a little bit, but he carried on, as confidently as he could ¡°Well death sucks doesn¡¯t it? Why do we gotta make this world as sucky as our last one when we could make it like, a heaven?¡±

    Holly nodded. ¡°He raises a good point. We should be trying to make the people in this world as happy as possible.¡±

    Mark frowned. ¡°While I agree with trying to make this world as utopian as possible, is making everyone deathless really the answer? Without death, would life have meaning, would we care about our impact, our moment-to-moment happiness, would we try to make the most of life while it lasts in a world where life lasts forever? I think we need death, at least a little.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism his past incident with Damon at least temporarily forgotten as he got sucked into this divine argument. ¡°That¡¯s just pro-death propaganda! The rationalisations of an existence who is forced to comprehend his own death and has gotta try and make the most of it somehow! You are a loon! A loon!¡±

    Damon shook his head. ¡°Should we even be making life as ¡°utopian¡± as possible?¡± He sneered. ¡°This ¡°God¡± said we need to make a world befitting of the fantasy genre. What fantasy world doesn¡¯t have danger and adventure? I say we keep these immortals immortal, but when we make real humans and other life we need to keep a bit of danger, a bit of suffering to prompt adventures and not get us all killed or otherwise punished by the thing that brought us here. Now, all those in favour of keeping everyone immortal raise your hand.¡±

    Only Holly and Rich raised their hands.

    ¡°Now, all those who agree with my plan raise your hands.¡± Bird head, nameless girl, Mark and himself raised their hands and Damon smiled a faintly menacing smile.

    ¡°Very well then, now we should discuss what to do with these immortals¡± said Damon, not planning for a second for there to be any discussion. ¡°I think we can make use for them. We can appear before them as gods and tell them they were made for a purpose. Encourage them to go out and report on what they see while we make their world, and they can constantly give feedback to us. There are only six of us and so we most likely won¡¯t be able to see all the details of the world we make. Those people will. Any objections?¡±

    Mark shrugged. ¡°Nope, no objections from me. Anyone else?¡±

    There was silence.

    ¡°Very well then¡± declared Damon. ¡°All those who don¡¯t look sufficiently holy make yourself invisible, we should look good and godly before our subjects.¡±

    Mark began to lower the obelisk while Holly, Mark and the goddess who would name herself Aomy vanished from sight. Damon stepped forward, placing himself between Rizzleritchensteineonizziism and Scientia so he could address the immortals. When the obelisk sunk itself completely beneath the soil he spoke.

    ¡°My people!¡± He cried out. ¡°I am Damon, your creator, and behind me are my fellow deities. We are the gods of this world and all you will ever see and all that will ever be, was made by our hands. This includes you, ye immortals and you have been blessed with something few else will ever dream of: Divine purpose!¡±

    This prompted a muttering from amongst the crowd, perhaps less because they knew how blessed they were because frankly, they knew next to nothing about the likelihood of having divine purpose and in fact many had already theorised such a thing and were gloating with their new friends. No, they muttered because they were excited to hear the answers to all their questions and delivered in such an exciting way no less. Still, they muttered, if they had purpose, what could it be?

    Damon was quick to answer. ¡°Soon you shall see new lands beyond this flat plain in the centre of our universe. I want you to travel them, reporting to us on what you see. I want your praise, and I want your critiques. You shall be our eyes from a human point of view. This is a most important task, so I want it taken seriously. Is that all understood?¡± There were nods amongst the crowd. ¡°Good!¡± declared Damon. ¡°Then go forth! Whenever you wish to report hold your hands together like this and your thoughts will be transmitted to one of us six gods.¡±

    Immediately, after Damon willed what he said to be true, words like, ¡°Ooh this is fun¡±, ¡°Can you make stuff soon, all this dirt stuff is boring¡± and ¡°Can you explain the lava plume?¡± all echoed in the gods heads. Satisfied his work was done, Damon began to raise the pillar into the air once more when someone called out to him.

    ¡°Oi, Damon, you haven¡¯t answered all our questions yet!¡±

    Damon singled out the voice in the crowd, a man with impossibly red hair, standing arms crossed over his chest. Damon brought the pillar to a stop with a resounding clang.

    ¡°You will address the gods with respect!¡± yelled Damon. ¡°All of you! We are, fundamentally, above you and I want all of you to be aware of that. You are our holy servants and I, your holy master.¡±

    The red-haired man paused, clearly shaken. He stuttered ¡°Oh, heavenly masters, please may I ask a question? Where have the other gods gone?¡±

    Damon paused. He had no explanation for that! Should he scold this man for his insolence? Already he could feel the disapproving looks of the others behind him.

    It was Scientia who saved him. ¡°The others are currently gathering power for the work to come. Thank you for your questions and I hope you retain your curious mind and endeavour to learn more about the world to come¡±

    The immortal looked incredibly relieved and bowed his head. ¡°Thank you, O wise one. I shall.¡±

    Damon sniffed dismissively before calling out ¡°Any more questions, ask them through prayer. Us gods are busy and must speak alone.¡± And with that, the pillar rose to the skies once more.

    ¡°You will address the gods with respect?¡± Holly asked incredulously, hands on hips. ¡°What the hell was that?¡±

    Damon was unphased and explained ¡°Look throughout history. Do you see the Greeks, the Romans, the Ancient Egyptians speaking to their gods so casually? Imagine if Hercules was like ¡°Oi, Zeus, make sure the skies are clear.¡± ¡°Oi Poseidon, make the sea calm.¡± Or ¡°Oi Hades, make sure I don¡¯t die tomorrow!¡± If we¡¯re to be gods, we need to be respected and we won¡¯t be respected if we let people treat us like friends or equals.¡±

    ¡°Actually it would be Heracles¡± Scientia corrected, booming, powerful voice slightly undercut by the nerdiness of his correction.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± sneered Damon in response.

    ¡°Hercules was the Roman name. If this character addressed the Greek gods, he would be Heracles. Also, Hades did not control who died, he, most likely, only ran the afterlives.¡± It was a testament to Scientia¡¯s knowledge of social rules that he still managed to make this statement sound grand and impressive.

    Mark frowned. ¡°Also, weren¡¯t the Greek gods all kinda dicks, even according to the Greeks? Dunno if we want to emulate that.¡±

    Scientia smiled, which was an odd sight considering bird beaks, in general, don¡¯t smile. ¡°Ovid, a Greek poet, certainly accentuated the god¡¯s misdeeds and wrote them from a perspective of them being very flawed, but his interpretations of the myths are heavily influenced by his dislike of authority. Truth be told, we do not know how the Greeks interpreted their gods, although, from a modern perspective, many of them were, indubitably, dicks.¡±

    There was a moment of silence as Mark listened, enraptured and Damon seethed at the conversation quickly drifting out of his control.

    Eventually, Holly sighed, breaking the silence and said ¡°Well, what¡¯s done is done I guess, not much point in arguing amongst ourselves. Should we divvy up the workload now?¡±

    Damon seethed even more, as his chance of regaining control was cut short, but Mark replied before Damon got a chance to make his displeasure apparent. ¡°Yeah, sound good to me.¡±

    Holly looked round at the assembled gods. ¡°So, does anyone have any ideas?¡±

    And thus, with progress finally beginning to be made, began the assignment of responsibilities.

 1.3: Forms and Functions

    ¡°If I may make a suggestion.¡± It was Scientia who spoke, his voice still grand and ancient and the other gods practically leaned in to see what his plan to divide the workload was. ¡°I say we assign ourselves areas of focus. Like how Zeus ruled the sky, Poseidon the sea and Hades the underworld, we should all focus on an aspect of creation, ensuring both a relatively even workload and opening avenues for us to develop specialised skillsets which we may not have attained if we all worked on everything together.¡±

    ¡°Sounds good to me¡± said Mark at roughly the same time as Damon muttered ¡°Well obviously, we¡¯d all have individual goals.¡±

    Holly smiled, albeit in a noticeably forced way and said ¡°Hey, knock it off Damon, just because it¡¯s obvious doesn¡¯t mean it can¡¯t be a good idea. Does anyone else have any suggestions?¡±

    ¡°Of course not.¡± came Damon¡¯s retort. ¡°It¡¯s what every mythological pantheon has done since the start of time, why would we do things a different way?¡±

    Mark looked across at him, clearly concerned. ¡°Hey dude, chill out. I know this day¡¯s been pretty intense for everyone, so I can understand why tensions are running high, but if we¡¯re gonna make any progress and get along, we gotta remain as calm as possible.¡±

    Damon feigned remorse and tried to look as downcast as possible. ¡°You''re right Mark, of course.¡±

    Bizarrely, or perhaps obviously, it was Rich who objected to Mark¡¯s claim. ¡°What?! Calm?! Calms boring why do we have to be calm?¡±

    Mark looked away from Damon to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, equally concerned, yet a tad more condescending. ¡°I meant we shouldn¡¯t be angry at each other Rich; you can be as excitable as you want¡±

    Rich looked indignant. ¡°If you didn¡¯t want us angry at each other, don¡¯t call me Rich! Rizzleritchensteineonizziism! The first ever! Remember it!¡±

    ¡°Remember it? I can¡¯t pronounce it¡± cried Mark before remembering himself. ¡°Sorry, tensions. Look, Rich, I think it¡¯s a cool name, but I really can¡¯t pronounce it. Will you please accept nicknames, at least amongst the 6 of us?¡±

    ¡°My followers will hunt yours for sport!¡± yelled Rich, accentuating his point with the first thunderbolt this world had ever seen which he made strike the obelisk behind him. ¡°but okay, fine¡±

    Mark smiled. ¡°Thanks. If you have a nickname you prefer, we can go with that, so lemme know if there is something you¡¯d rather go with. Um, also, you were joking about the hunting for sport, right?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism grinned a maniacal grin that actually stretched off his thin lightning bolt face. ¡°We¡¯ll see who shoulda made everyone immortal soon, won¡¯t we? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!¡±

    Mark paled. ¡°Rich? Your joking, right?¡±

    The eccentric god deflated, and the flames and lightning that were part of him dimmed. ¡°Yeah, it was a joke. Don¡¯t call attention to it, it ruins the fun.¡±

    Damon had been staring incredulously as he watched all this go on. ¡°Okay, this has all been very touching¡± he announced ¡°but we should probably sort out our roles, appearances and names and everything soon. We don¡¯t have forever; we do need to get on.¡±

    ¡°One more thing!¡± burst out the goddess soon to be named Aomy. She felt the others all turn to look at her and it didn¡¯t take a genius to infer that she very much regretted speaking up, by the reddening of her face and the way she began to quickly hunch in on herself. ¡°I, er, yeah. We should probably ask Rizzle-Ritchen-Steineo-Nizzi-ism¡±, she was sounding the word out, chunk by chunk, to make sure she said it right. ¡°if he did have a preferred nickname. Like, so we don¡¯t keep calling him Rich if he doesn¡¯t like it. Like¡­¡± she trailed off as she immediately regretted keeping this train of thought running outside her head instead of inside it. ¡°Rizzle?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± cried Rich ¡°Anything less than Rizzleritchensteineonizziism is an insult! If you are to spit in my face and shorten the best word I¡¯ve ever come up with in the last half an hour, then you can do it however you want, I¡¯ll have no part in it.¡±

    ¡°Okay, we¡¯ve gotten very distracted¡± declared Damon. ¡°We should really get on with deciding our roles.¡±

    Holly looked around at the other six deities. ¡°Does anyone have any preferences?¡±

    The soon to be god of knowledge opened his mouth to speak, glad to finally announce the purpose he¡¯d given himself at the start of creation but he was swiftly interrupted

    ¡°Magic!¡± exclaimed Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, his eyes alight with possibilities. ¡°I wanna make magic!¡±

    ¡°Yup, that seems fitting.¡± Replied Holly warmly. ¡°Unless anyone else wants it, I¡¯d quite like to be a god of nature. I¡¯ve always been super into that stuff, and I¡¯ve seen enough documentaries to probably be able to throw together a food chain that doesn¡¯t collapse in on itself.¡±

    ¡°Wait, first, are we sure we can trust Rich with magic¡± objected Damon. ¡°I don¡¯t want our world to be blown apart because he impulsively made magic too explosive.¡±

    ¡°Noooo, I think Rizzlerich is uniquely qualified among us to make magic¡± was Holly¡¯s response. ¡°Can any of y¡¯all imagine anything more fitting for him? Plus, he doesn¡¯t seem like he¡¯s actually impulsive enough to accidentally nuke the world, right Rizzlerich?¡±

    ¡°Stop trying to make me a nickname! They¡¯ll never work!¡±

    ¡°Rizzlerich, please.¡± Pleaded Holly

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism stared into space for a moment before relenting and deflating. ¡°Fiiiiine. I promise not to make magic too cool, I¡¯ll reign myself in¡±

    Holly smiled. ¡°Thanks Rich.¡± She turned to face the other gods and asked ¡°Okay, if that¡¯s all sorted shall we move on?¡±

    Before anyone could answer Rizzleritchensteineonizziism burst into the conversation again, yelling ¡°Do you have a god name? Y¡¯know if you¡¯ve decided on a god role, d¡¯you have a god name, or form or anything?¡±

    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.Holly thought for a moment. ¡°I don¡¯t know, maybe like Naturum or something? I don¡¯t have a form, I¡¯ll have to think about that.¡±

    Rich looked confused. ¡°You all thought about your forms before making them?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m surprised you speak Latin.¡± said the Thoth impersonating god, his confident voice booming out across the pillar and ignoring Rich¡¯s query.

    ¡°Oh, Naturum¡¯s not real Latin, I just wanted to have a name that sounded kinda Latin-y, y¡¯know cos Latin-y sounding words sound all impressive and godlike.¡± came Naturum¡¯s easy reply

    Imperceptible to all but the most perceptive of the gods, Scientia winced. ¡°Then I shall be Sciencia¡± he declared, grand voice betraying no hint of his wincing ¡°and I shall be your god of knowledge. I shall catalogue this new universe, both so the 5 of you will have an encyclopaedia of knowledge to draw from, so you don¡¯t have to keep track of all relevant information pertaining to your duties yourself and so the most studious of mortals may be rewarded with information that will help drive our world to a new age.¡±

    Naturum wrinkled her nose slightly. ¡°Well, it¡¯s a bit of a naff name, isn¡¯t it? You do more than science, why didn¡¯t you call yourself like, knowledgia or something if you wanted a Latin name.¡±

    Scientia definitely winced this time, but he quickly recovered, smiled and said, ¡°While both would be accurate uses of Latin, I believe Scientia sounds better.¡±

    Naturum smiled back. ¡°Fair enough. Well, anyone else got any ideas for what they wanna do?¡±

    It was Mark who spoke next. ¡°I think I do. I¡¯d quite like to do geography. I did get an A star in it for my A-levels.¡±

    ¡°Name? God form?¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism.

    ¡°I was thinking, maybe Loma¡± responded Loma. ¡°Sounds solid, dependable like the Earth and like how I intend to be for all of you.¡±

    ¡°Volcanoes aren¡¯t dependable. They explode. What about instead you go by Lomabobomboomboompow?¡± came Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s erratic response.

    Loma smiled. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll leave the volcanoes to you Rich. I did have an idea for what form to go with by the way.¡± While he spoke, his skin turned to rich earth, upon his shoulders grew vibrant grass and his form grew larger, stockier. This caused his clothes to tear away (not revealing anything because he¡¯d gotten rid of anything to reveal once he¡¯d decided on his transformation) and the hair on his head began to fade while the hair on his face began to grow.

    This beard hair changed to become an incredible waterfall that faded out of existence once it passed his neck. Then, his body began to change, become lumpier, as miniature mountains and hills grew upon it, rivers flowed down his body and his mouth changed to stone creating a cave entrance on his face, his teeth too becoming stone to form stalactites and mites. He looked like landmass given humanoid form, ancient and unmovable, primal and powerful.

    He turned to the other gods. ¡°What do you think?¡± he asked, his voice now deep, rumbly and sounding faintly like boulders tumbling down a mountain in an avalanche.

    Naturum whistled. ¡°Looking good Mar- I mean Loma. Nice!¡±

    ¡°Indeed¡± declared Damon. ¡°Now I believe it is my turn to announce my role. I shall be a supervisor, a leader to you all, someone who can monitor everyone¡¯s behaviour and whose instructions can provide a degree of cohesion not usually attainable.¡±

    Naturum wrinkled her nose again. ¡°Seems like leadership should be something we all vote on, if it¡¯s even necessary.¡±

    Damon smiled, ignored her and turned to face the last god. ¡°And you. Who will you be?¡±

    The god with no name looked round at the others and feeling the attention once more on her shrank into her hoodie. ¡°I, er. Civilisation? Seems pretty useful and no one¡¯s covered that yet.¡±

    The nameless goddess had many grievances with civilisations from Earth and really didn¡¯t want to see them repeated in this one. Still, she would have loved more time to procrastinate that decision and once it had been made, countless doubts swirled in her head.

    ¡°You¡¯ve bitten off more than you can chew¡± one voice said. ¡°There¡¯s no way you can be responsible for whole civilisations.¡±

    ¡°You realise leading a civilisation will mean talking to a lotta people you don¡¯t know? Good luck¡± jeered another.

    A third voice. ¡°Hey, look alive, someone¡¯s talking to you¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Name? God form?¡± It was Rizzleritchensteineonizziism asking as usual.

    ¡°Oh sorry, musta spaced out¡± said the god of civilisations sheepishly. ¡°I had terrible sleep last night¡± While technically true, she felt awake and sharp since arriving in the new universe. Truth be told, it had been a reliable excuse in the old world and had fully become a habit to use it even when wide awake when she felt she needed to justify herself.

    ¡°And, er, to be honest, no I don¡¯t have one. Or any idea of one really. Um, I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll think of something.¡±

    Naturum, smiled at the stammering god. ¡°If you want, I could help you come up with some stuff later? Could be fun.¡±

    The stammering god smiled back, relieved. ¡°Ah, yeah, yeah that would be nice. Thanks.¡±

    ¡°Well then¡± exclaimed Naturum cheerfully. ¡°Now we¡¯ve divvied up the workload what do y¡¯all wanna do now?¡±

    Loma turned his primordial head around to look at all the others, and in his deep, rumbling voice he said ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know about you all, but I feel like I need a rest. What do you all say to us relaxing for a day and coming back to work tomorrow?¡±

    Damon sneered dismissively. ¡°We haven¡¯t done anything today though.¡±

    Loma shrugged a mighty mountain moving shrug. ¡°I suppose not. But we did just talk to actual God and find out we¡¯re gods ourselves. I think the shock of that warrants a break.¡±

    Naturum nodded. ¡°I could do with some time to process before we start our godly responsibilities.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I think I¡¯d like some time to think too.¡± Agreed the civilisation goddess

    ¡°I will acquiesce to whatever you wish to do.¡± said Scientia. ¡°Although I may personally do little relaxing and do as much research into this world as possible.¡±

    Naturum looked to Damon and Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°And you two?¡±

    ¡°Mmmmm, might make some magic by myself¡± responded Rich.

    ¡°If he does that, then I¡¯ll monitor him¡± declared Damon.

    ¡°Well, we¡¯re all in agreement then¡± said Loma, cheerfully. ¡°Who wants to play some Nimbus: Never Ending with me?¡±

    The civilisation goddess frowned. ¡°I thought that game wasn¡¯t out yet?¡±

    Loma smiled. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be¡± he said, and with a flourish a green game box appeared in his hand. His smile widened to a grin. ¡°There are certain perks to omnipotence.¡±

    ¡°Oooh, I¡¯m in!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m down¡± said the goddess of civilisation, with a little more confidence in her voice than before.

    ¡°Then, as I shall no longer be monitoring Rich, I will be retreating to my private quarters.¡± Said Damon.

    ¡°Sure you don¡¯t want to join us Damon?¡± asked Loma. ¡°Wait, we don¡¯t have private quarters.¡±

    ¡°No?¡± responded the silver god. ¡°Then I guess we shall have to make some.¡±

    And thus, as the gods each went their separate ways, the day of revels began.

 1.4: The First Night of a New World

    Naturum stared out her window, and up at the beautiful silver of a full moon.

    Holly stared up at the moon, the heat of the campfire filling her with warmth. She smiled a smile so full of innocence and peace that it could only be recreated through the naivety of being not yet nine. What was that? A flicker! Some strange shape flitted around the campsite before disappearing into the woods behind her. With a yelp Holly leapt of her chair and dove into the arms of her dad sitting in the chair next to her.

    ¡°There there poppet¡± He spoke softly, soothingly and he stroked her hair while he talked. ¡°It was only a bat, there¡¯s nothing to be afraid of.¡±

    ¡°Yes there is!¡± she cried, indignant.

    ¡°I thought you loved animals?¡±

    ¡°Not that one! That ones mean!¡± she pouted.

    ¡°Now now poppet¡± came the gentle voice. ¡°Bats are very important animals.¡±

    She sat up, curious. ¡°They are?¡±

    ¡°They eat pests and other bugs. Keep their numbers down¡±

    ¡°They eat bugs! They are mean!¡±

    He shook his head and smiled warmly at her. ¡°Would you like to live in a world where bugs are everywhere?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± she cried in a tone that implied her answer was obvious. ¡°I wanna live in a world where there are tons of bugs and animals and plants.¡±

    ¡°Well poppet, you can¡¯t live in a world with bugs and plants and animals without animals that eat bugs. Natures kept in a very delicate balance you see. If there were no animals that ate bugs, there would be too many bugs and too many bugs would eat too many plants and with not enough plants all the animals would get hungry. That¡¯s why bats are very important.¡±

    Holly didn¡¯t respond but did get out her dads arms and clamber onto his lap. She stared back up at the moon and its light, the stars and wonder all reflected in her eyes.

    Her lip trembled.

    ¡°Holly, Holly, look it¡¯s a slug!¡±

    She was thirteen now and she had been playing in the garden with her brother. ¡°Ooh. That¡¯s because it¡¯s been raining and slugs come out in the rain.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna poke it!¡± he cried.

    ¡°Nooonononono, don¡¯t hurt it! Its alive!¡±

    ¡°Awwww, Hoolllyy pleeaassse!¡±

    She considered scolding him but relented. He was younger after all. ¡°We can do other stuff with the slug while its alive. Natures full of things you can appreciate about it.¡±

    He considered this for a moment. ¡°Let¡¯s worship it! Slug religion, slug religion, slug religion!¡±

    She put her hand on her hips. ¡°Actually, if you chant it¡¯s called a cult.¡± She said, proudly and wrongly.

    Her brothers eyes lit up. ¡°Slug cult, slug cult!¡± he chanted.

    Her dad watched from the door. He didn¡¯t call them in when he usually did and simply smiled as they danced around this nonplussed slug as the moon rose and shone down upon their childish ritual.

    Her whole body shook with barely repressed emotion, and she just narrowly avoided crying. But still, she looked up at the moon.

    She stared out her window to the silvery moon, face a picture of agony as tears streamed down her face, her body adorned in the dark edgier clothes she wore while 16 after her girlfriend complimented her on them. She wanted to tear them up and burn them but anytime she thought about it, her body weakened, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face. She turned her head. There had been a quiet knocking at the door, and she watched as it slowly creaked open.

    It was her dad standing there. He looked as he did before she¡¯d been brought to this hellish world of gods, his appearance no longer hidden by the non-specificity of distant memory. He was smallish, roundish, with very round and large glasses and unkempt hair just barely starting to grey.

    ¡°You can¡¯t stay locked up here forever you know¡± he said.

    ¡°Yes I can¡± retorted Holly, before turning to face the window to hide a fresh wave of tears.

    ¡°I suppose you can¡± he responded ¡°but I wouldn¡¯t recommend it. Break-ups hurt, yes, but you shouldn¡¯t be bringing unneeded misery upon yourself.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and what would you know.¡±

    There was a pause, painfully long before his quiet reply. ¡°I think you know as well as I do, that I know a thing or two about break-ups.¡±

    Holly froze and tensed before her head loosened to hang in guilt and shame.

    ¡°Now, I know you need your space, so I¡¯ll be leaving you soon but before I go, let me tell you that your dinners waiting for you downstairs. Nate¡¯s been told to stay in the lounge, and I¡¯ll be in my room, so you¡¯ll have the place to yourself.¡±

    Holly¡¯s guilt increased tenfold as she remembered ignoring the calls for dinner.

    ¡°Now I¡¯m going to go now¡± her dad said. ¡°I know it might not mean much to you now, but please remember. Things will get better. They really will.¡±

    She heard the sound of her door creaking shut. ¡°Wait!¡± she cried out. ¡°I¡¯d like you to stay a while.¡±

    The door fell silent. After a moment Holly turned around to see her dad standing behind her looking up at the same moon. They stood in silence for a while, enjoying the comfort of each other¡¯s presence.

    ¡°D¡¯you think we¡¯ll see a bat again? Like all those times camping?¡± Holly¡¯s voice broke the silence, still choked up and hurt, but calmer, even a little happier.

    Without looking she could feel his smile. ¡°I have no idea.¡±

    She turned around shocked. ¡°What? I don¡¯t believe you, you know everything about bats and nature and shit. How can you not, I don¡¯t know, know the probability of one turning up?¡±

    He turned to her. ¡°Seriously. I don¡¯t even know much about bats.¡±

    She gasped, betrayed. ¡°But every camping trip, you¡¯d tell me loads about whatever nature we saw. You had a new bat fact every time we saw a bat!¡±

    ¡°Yes, well I didn¡¯t actually know much about them then either. You were just so interested in all the nature you saw, that all those facts, I-¡°

    The vision blurred and grew unfocused with Naturum¡¯s vision.

    ¡°I lear-¡°

    Tears were streaming down her face.

    ¡°I learnt them for you¡±

    With a wail Naturum threw herself onto her bed, tears now flowing freely down her face, each breath produced strangled chokes of pain. With a violent thrust of her hand, she desperately willed a portal home into existence, strained her mind to teleport herself home, hoped against all hope to do something, anything to bring herself home. But nothing worked. Nothing had worked all day.

    Since the meeting of the gods she¡¯d been trying to either distract herself or get home. Damon, with a dramatic wave of his hand had formed a huge castle in the sky, supported by a huge floating landmass, an island ignoring the gravity she¡¯d made at the start of existence. She moved to her window to see it again, and sure enough it looked as garish as when she first remembered it.

    It was a palace, or perhaps a European castle but decidedly not an English one as it was all fairy-tale spires and silvery white bricks. She¡¯d scolded herself for her rude thoughts, perhaps a little less after the shit Damon had been pulling all day but when night fell, she loathed the castle and had no shame in doing so. It shone. Brighter than the moon. That was an offense that could never be forgiven.

    Granted, she could make the moon brighter. She had made the moon in the first place, once she noticed its absence. She couldn¡¯t be bothered to make a sunset as that was far too complicated. The sun was actually just a ball of light she¡¯d thrown into the sky at the start of creation as opposed to something this world could revolve around and as they would be expanding this world it was tricky to make the sun revolve around it. Instead, at 9 each night, the sun would dim and become a ball of pale silver, as the light in the sky went out. The people in this world would just have to live without sunsets.

    Besides, making the moon more garish wouldn¡¯t fix the problem of Damon¡¯s palace. On top of each spire, he¡¯d placed an eye, that swivelled and surveyed its landscape. He¡¯d placed a golden halo atop each of them, like that did anything to offset its freakish nature. Once his palace had been made, the other gods had made their homes. Loma went first, creating a huge mountain in the sky with a mighty cave entrance along the side of it. As Damon had already placed his home in the centre of creation, Loma had placed his at one of the edges and, as a unique touch had created a huge chain that tethered his island to the ground.

    Naturum smiled despite herself. She¡¯d been hearing sounds of laughter and playful anger echoing out of that cave since Loma, Rizzlerich and the other god, had gone inside to play videogames. Loma¡¯s laughter and Rizzlerich¡¯s outbursts had been the loudest of course. But to her great happiness, she¡¯d occasionally heard the civilisation goddess giggling or taunting the others as the day went on.

    The civilisation goddess hadn¡¯t made her home yet, but Rizzlerich had. Before retreating into Loma¡¯s gaming cave he too had struck a great chain in the ground but to what it connected to, Naturum had no idea. The whole island, if there even was an island, was surrounded by a huge maelstrom of bizarre purple energy, occasionally accented by a gout of fire swirling through the chaos, or a spark of lightning escaping out onto the metal chain.

    Scientia had also made his home, a huge structure made of pre-faded and aged Pentelic marble. Its roof held up by towering pillars, its inside clearly displaying rows upon rows of as of yet unfilled bookshelves and written upon its roof was the word librarium in a crude, yet legible and presentable hand. Naturum had seen Scientia all day, speaking with the immortals down below and scribbling in his notebook.

    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    And that just left Naturum¡¯s home, a forest of redwoods built upon a lush, floating island paradise, with beautiful lakes she would fill with fish, soft dirt and decayed logs she¡¯d fill with bugs and the aforementioned trees she would one day fill with birds. She was too tired to make an ecosystem for it today. Her own home was a tree, whose trunk was thicker than the widest tree and whose boughs stretched higher than the tallest. Carved into it was a little door and some windows, which, if you peered inside you would see scarcely more than a bed and a crying woman. She hadn¡¯t had time for furnishing.

    Reminiscence and appraisal of the god¡¯s homes finished, Naturum turned to once more look up at her moon, trying to focus her thoughts on the quiet peacefulness of the night.

    Knock knock. It wasn¡¯t a loud jarring sound but instead a hesitant and uncertain one. The goddess who would soon be known as Aomy stuck her hands in the thick blue coat she¡¯d made and shivered as she glanced around this eerie lifeless forest. Her body was tensed, she was biting her lip and just as she was considering knocking again or turning and fleeing into the night, the door opened and its reassuring, homely light spilled out.

    The goddess in the forest stifled her surprise with ease, but surprised she was. Naturum had undergone a transformation. Her skin was green now, the light green of the greenest grass and her hair had become dark green vines that spilled down her head, past her body even and only stopping at the back of her knees. Her face had barely changed, maybe just touched up slightly, although unbeknownst to the as of yet unnamed god, she had mere moments ago magically vanished her tears away. Her clothes too were different, no longer so casual looking, she wore an elegant green dress of stitched together leaves

    ¡°Heyyyy, come on in!¡± Her tone was as enthusiastic as ever, her smile just as radiant. She gestured theatrically and the goddess who would be known as Aomy shuffled into the tree house.

    ¡°Yeah. Hey¡± was her short response as she took in the sparse room.

    With a flourish Naturum conjured a plush sofa for the two of them to sit on. ¡°So, how¡¯d the gaming go?¡± she asked, sitting down.

    The still unnamed goddess after a moment¡¯s hesitation, sat down next to her. ¡°Good. Yeah, it was fun.¡± Another slightly awkward pause. ¡°And, uh, how was your day?¡±

    ¡°Ah, y¡¯know, pretty chill, pretty relaxing¡± she lied. ¡°Did you kick their asses?¡±

    ¡°Mmmm, not initially when they were playing Nimbus, I¡¯m no good at FPS¡¯s. But when they busted out Antonio Car, hell yeah I kicked their arses!¡± She smiled, ice and its associated tensions somehow broken, although not broken enough to directly correct the nature gods americanisation of arse.

    ¡°Glad to hear it, glad to hear it. What do you think by the way?¡± Naturum asked, flicking her new hair out behind her.

    ¡°Mmm, could do with some furnishing¡± responded the other goddess looking around the room.

    Naturum sighed. ¡°The appearance, silly.¡±

    ¡°Huh? Oh. Yeah, errr, yeah, looks nice.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it does, doesn¡¯t it?¡± She grinned before clapping her hands and, with a flash, transforming back to her original human form. ¡°But just for formal, godly occasions. If we¡¯re gonna be casual, I¡¯m gonna be myself.¡±

    Aomy nodded. ¡°Fair enough.¡±

    ¡°Talking of god forms, you came here looking for help on god forms and names, yeah? You got any ideas for that?¡±

    The civilisation goddess felt the ice that had previously been broken re-freeze above her. ¡°I, er, no, I don¡¯t think so, I think.¡±

    Naturum raised an eyebrow. ¡°None at all?¡±

    Oh god. ¡°Err, no, probably not, maybe. Although¡­¡± A long pause. ¡°I, er, thought, maybe Aomy sounded kinda nice? For a name.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, yeah, I like that. I¡¯m just happy you didn¡¯t go with Civilisationum. That woulda just been silly, and probably where my mind woulda gone.¡±

    ¡°Heh.¡± It wasn¡¯t a laugh, that came from the newly named Aomy¡¯s mouth, merely the word heh.

    ¡°Cool, well that was easy. Any ideas for god form?¡±

    Was that the ice re-breaking? Aomy found it strangely easy to warm up to Naturum and replied, ¡°No. Actually no this time, I¡¯ve got nothing.¡±

    ¡°Hmmm, well lets brainstorm then. My forms just a rip-off of mother nature, but I dunno if there¡¯s a civilisation equivalent. D¡¯you wanna go ask Scientia? He seems smart, he probably knows.¡±

    ¡°Mmmm, nahhhh, I think we can probably think up something.¡±

    Naturum thought for a moment. ¡°Well, your gonna be the goddess of civilisations, right? Why not just put on a fancy cloak and stay looking human? Considering your gonna be dealing with humans and all.¡±

    Aomy frowned slightly. ¡°I, er. I don¡¯t think I¡­look good¡­enough to look godlike?¡±

    ¡°Just beautify yourself up a bit! Shouldn¡¯t be too hard.¡±

    Aomy frowned harder. ¡°I don¡¯t think I know how.¡±

    ¡°Sure you do.¡± Came Naturum¡¯s enthusiastic response.

    ¡°What?¡± Aomy¡¯s face was blank.

    ¡°I said sure you do. Imagine a person, right now, the most beautiful person you can imagine.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡±

    ¡°Now become them.¡±

    Aomy stared incredulously. ¡°Okay, but like, that hasn¡¯t helped me figure out how to make myself look good.¡±

    Naturum stared back, playfully. ¡°Hasn¡¯t it?¡± she replied. ¡°You know what looks good to you right? What would make you feel good?¡±

    Aomy¡¯s frown got ever deeper. ¡°But that¡¯s not what other people would think looks good necessarily. What if my interpretation¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°Aomy.¡± Naturum expression was deadpan

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°You know beauty standards are bullshit, right?¡±

    ¡°Obviously.¡± Aomy still looked uncomprehending.

    ¡°You know they¡¯re made up too? Changing throughout history at the whims of those with power like advertisers and shit?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the goddess of civilisation.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Ooohhhhhhh.¡±

    Naturum grinned, her mock seriousness dissolving with delight. ¡°Yeah. No history of oppressive expectations here girl. You can look how you want!¡±

    Aomy grinned back. ¡°Huh. Might just stay how I am now then. I think I¡¯ve kinda gotten used to it.¡±

    ¡°I mean, yeah, its your old body, right? Makes sense you¡¯d be used to it¡± replied Naturum.

    Aomy¡¯s grin faded. ¡°I, er, ah. No, actually its um. Not.¡±

    ¡°Huh¡± said Naturum, but other than that she didn¡¯t inquire further leaving them in a slightly awkward silence for a moment.

    ¡°There¡¯s, uh, another problem¡± mumbled Aomy, once the silence had gotten to her enough to really want to break it.

    ¡°There is?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, er, this is gonna be a fantasy world, right? With like, minimum elves and dwarves in it? Looking like a human might not be the best choice after all.¡±

    Naturum looked thoughtfully out across the sparse room. ¡°Ah¡±

    ¡°I think I might have an idea though¡± Aomy continued, hesitantly.

    Naturum brightened again. ¡°Oh, nice! What is it?¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m probably going to be representing all the sapient races of this world, right? And they¡¯re all gonna be humanoid, or at least tauric- ¡°

    ¡°Tauric?¡± interrupted Naturum.

    ¡°Like a centaur. That kinda shape. Anyway, point is, if I like, make myself look like a sorta representation of like, humanoid creatures in general then I¡¯ll kinda, I don¡¯t know, look good for all of them.¡±

    Naturum nodded sagely. ¡°Mmmm, good idea.¡±

    ¡°I was thinking, maybe I like, make myself look like a silhouette? Like a kinda glow-y, indistinct, civilisation coloured outline that you can fill with the specifics of your own race.¡±

    ¡°What colour is civilisation?¡± asked Naturum.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Blue?¡± replied Aomy.

    ¡°Huh. I was thinking gold or some shit.¡± This comment caused Aomy to frown slightly. ¡°You disagree?¡±

    ¡°Yeahhhhh¡± responded Aomy, hesitantly at first, before gaining a little confidence in her opinion¡¯s validity. ¡°I don¡¯t think all my cities are gonna be El Dorado. Plus, Damon¡¯s already got some gold highlights on his robes.¡±

    Naturum wrinkled her nose at mention of Damon. ¡°Don¡¯t wanna step on our glorious leaders¡¯ toes?¡±

    Aomy wrinkled her nose back. ¡°More like don¡¯t wanna be associated with him. He¡¯s such a bitch.¡±

    Naturum laughed. ¡°Yeah, god- I mean, me, he¡¯s a dick. Do you wanna get involved in a little conspiracy?¡±

    Aomy grinned. ¡°Hell yeah I do.¡±

    There was a pause as Naturum didn¡¯t speak, and Aomy practically leaned in in anticipation. Complete silence. And then, Naturum at last spoke, ¡°Well, your gonna have to wait. You still need a god form!¡±

    Aomy groaned as Naturum triumphantly grinned. ¡°Fiiiiine. Okay, lets compromise. Silhouette gold. Clothes blue.¡±

    ¡°Deal¡± replied Naturum. ¡°Why do think blue¡¯s a civilisation colour anyway?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, it just is. Look at a city, what colour do you think of?¡±

    ¡°Gold.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re supposed to say blue!¡±

    Naturum laughed again. ¡°Yeah, well I didn¡¯t. Make yourself a god form already, I wanna see how it looks!¡±

    Aomy rolled her eyes, but still stepped up out the sofa and willed herself to transform. In moments, gone was the generic young woman who she¡¯d been and in her place was a tall, striking figure of translucent gold.

    Her head was smooth and featureless, no hair, eyes, mouth or nose to speak of. More of note however, was how slightly see through, it and all other visible skin was. Like the appearance of a ghost, her body was slightly see-through, less a physical, absolute form and instead, perhaps the representation of what civilised life could be.

    She was wrapped in a simple, yet aesthetically pleasing dark-ish blue robe, her trousers the same dark-ish shade and her navy boots were practical and built for walks. She didn¡¯t smile because of her lack of mouth but did glow a little brighter for a moment.

    ¡°So. How do I look?¡±

    Naturum grinned. ¡°Looking good, girl. Although it is weird to hear your voice when you got no mouth.¡±

    The glow glowed again. ¡°Heh, yeah, I can imagine. Still. Looks godly?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you look godly as hell.¡±

    There was one last glow before there was a pop and gone was the golden figure and back was Aomy¡¯s human hoodied form. ¡°Neat. Now, I believe we were talking about conspiracy?¡±

    Naturum laughed a laugh that glowed just as much as Aomy¡¯s god form did. ¡°Yeah. Lemme tell you all about it.¡±

    Across the world (an unimpressive feat as of now), Damon sat in his palace, completely unaware that his schemes were being challenged by another. This was a secret part of his castle, hidden from the gods, so Damon could scheme and perhaps, just a little bit, fulfil those revenge fantasies he still so deeply desired. As of right now this dungeon was furnished with little more than pools of lava which he¡¯d installed to make himself feel more like an Antonio siblings villain, as he was too deep in thought to do much else.

    Something was bugging him. Something to do with what ¡°God¡± said, something they¡¯d said was..wrong.

    ¡°Create a world for me, one of your ¡°fantasy genre¡± worlds and if you please me, you may be rewarded and if you fail I shall with heavy heart enact your punishment!¡± echoed God¡¯s words in Damon¡¯s mind. ¡°Do not disappoint now-¡°

    ¡°Pardon me, oh mighty one, but I have a complaint to lodge. You castle is most mighty, but your eyes¡­ are a bit creepy¡­¡± echoed a new voice in his head.

    ¡°God dammit.¡± Thought Damon as he willed prayers to no longer reach him. ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll figure it out soon.¡±

    And thus, with gods sleeping, chatting and scheming, with the immortals anxiously awaiting new lands to explore and with a chair still hurtling through the infinite void, ended the first day on this new world. And thus, the beginning of the rest of history began.

 1.5: First Contracts

    Damon sat in the throne/meeting room of his castle, sitting upon, naturally, his lavishly decorated throne of gold. He watched as the other five gods slowly filed in, and as they went to sit down, took in the room around them. It too was lavish, coloured the same bright silver as the rest of his castle, a red-carpet lead from door to throne and a huge candelabra hung from the ceiling. However, that wasn¡¯t what provided the light from the room. Instead, the room was lit magically, the whole room sourcelessly lit by clinical white light, that reminded many of the gods, of either hospitals, or business meetings.

    Which isn¡¯t the only comparison to business meetings that could be drawn from this room, the whole space somewhat gave off that vibe. The chairs (exempting of course, Damon¡¯s throne) were office swivel chairs and they were placed next to modern looking, smooth tables that lined the throne room on either side of the carpet. Behind Damon was a series of glass, floor to ceiling windows, that looked out across the dirt plains that were, as of yet, the entirety of existence.

    The first to arrive was Rizzleritchensteineonizziism who appeared suddenly in a flash of light. His eyes (along with his lightning head and fiery arms) lit up upon seeing the swivel chair and he immediately began to swing round and round in it. Next was Scientia, who quickly scanned the room before sitting down next to the energetic god and began to scribble in his already remarkably filled notebook. Then, it was Loma, who checked to ensure his chair was strong enough to take his drastically increased weight and satisfied it did, he sat upon it.

    It took a while for the last two gods to arrive. Loma conjured a phone and was playing something on it, and once Rizzleritchensteineonizziism got bored of spinning, his eyes immediately latched onto the blue light, and stood behind Loma, watching him play. Damon did no such thing, however. He wished to look regal and grand when all the gods arrived and so he settled for impatiently drumming his fingers against the side of his throne while he waited.

    At last, Aomy and Naturum arrived. They glanced around the throne room, whispered to each other and giggled before sitting down opposite the other three gods. Damon¡¯s eyes narrowed. They were still in human form.

    ¡°And why aren¡¯t you two in god form?¡± he called out.

    Naturum looked up at him on his throne and smiled pleasantly. ¡°I mean, there¡¯s no non-gods around here, right? Thought it¡¯d be more comfortable to be in our original bodies.¡±

    Rizzlerich stared, confused. ¡°People don¡¯t like being in god form all the time?¡±

    Damon looked back down at the pair of gods and frowned. ¡°It would seem not. I would like you to both be in god form, if only to be in the right mindset for god business.¡±

    Loma nodded. ¡°Makes sense. It¡¯s like the worlds weirdest work clothes.¡±

    Naturum whispered to Aomy, who nodded, and both transformed into their respective god forms.

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s eyes lit up for second time this meeting. ¡°Yoooo¡± he yelled. ¡°You look super cool!¡±

    Aomy¡¯s translucent golden skin glowed slightly. ¡°Thanks, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡± she mumbled.

    He blinked. ¡°You got my name right.¡±

    The glow changed from golden to faintly golden-red. ¡°I¡¯ve been practicing¡± she admitted.

    ¡°Touching, touching¡± declared Damon with a clap. ¡°But we have things to attend to. First, why are you two late?¡±

    Naturum shrugged casually. ¡°Lost track of time. Did say I do that when we first met.¡±

    Damon¡¯s seemingly ever-present frown deepened. ¡°Well, maybe you should work on that here. Anyway, I believe we should move on to establishing what we¡¯re all going to be doing today. I say we all start simple. Let¡¯s make a human country, with mostly simple and familiar landscapes and ecology.¡±

    ¡°Humans?!¡± objected Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°That¡¯s boring!¡±

    Loma looked across the table to him, look of concern clear on his face. ¡°Rich, wasn¡¯t the first thing you did make humans? I know we call them immortals now, but they were meant to be humans.¡±

    Rich¡¯s various elemental appendages lost power as he paused for a moment and then deflated. ¡°Fine, it¡¯s within acceptable degrees of boring.¡±

    Loma smiled at him. ¡°Glad to hear it. Anyway, I like the human idea, does everyone else?¡±

    Naturum nodded. ¡°Seems wise to start things simple while we don¡¯t have any practise being gods.¡±

    ¡°Very well then¡± declared Damon, his frown changing to his one other facial expression, a cruel smirk. ¡°I won¡¯t tell you how go about your various specialties, so I believe this meeting is adjourned. Go out there and do good work.¡± He stood up dramatically and made to leave the room.

    ¡°Objection!¡± yelled Naturum, her green finger pointed and outstretched. ¡°I don¡¯t think this meeting is adjourned at all!¡±

    Damon hadn¡¯t even made it to the tables before he stopped and turned, perplexed. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, always wanted to do that. I know this isn¡¯t a courtroom, but I think it fit. Anyway-¡± She clapped her hands and a pile of papers fell onto the table in front of her. ¡°Behold!¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism oohed appreciatively while Damon¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°What is this?¡± he snarled.

    With a poof, Naturum appeared on his throne, papers in hand. She frowned. ¡°Oh, this won¡¯t do at all. It¡¯s too far away¡±

    She was treated to Chris Hemsworth¡¯s silver face staring back at her, agog. ¡°What are you doing in my chair?¡± Damon cried.

    ¡°Well I am running this part of the meeting¡± Naturum replied.

    With a wave of her hand the two tables fused into a round table and all the chairs, with god¡¯s bottoms still attached, scooted to its new position. This included Damon¡¯s throne which she casually transformed into an identical office swivel chair.

    ¡°The throne was because I was leader of the gods, not because I ran that meeting¡± Damon growled.

    Naturum looked back down at the transformed throne. ¡°Oops. Sorry. Anyway, take a seat¡± she said, gesturing to one of the empty seats next to Aomy and Loma. Relenctantly, he did.

    ¡°Alright, now everyone is all close together¡± she declared brightly, ¡°y¡¯all will be able to see me and Aomy¡¯s ingenious creations. Behold¡­wait I already said behold. Uh oh, theatricality slipping. Um. Witness, (nailed it), the god contracts!¡±

    Damon¡¯s frown returned, full force. ¡°At least when I ran meetings, I kept them professional. What are these god contracts?¡±

    Naturum smiled back, her effortless brightness countering his moodiness. ¡°Well, they¡¯re like demon contracts, y¡¯know, deal with devil type stuff.¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism leaned forward, excitedly. ¡°Are you trying to steal our souls?¡± he asked, voice full of enthusiasm.

    Naturum shook her head. ¡°Nope! But, theoretically, if you agree to the terms on the contracts, you should be unable to break them. Like how deals with the devil work.¡±

    ¡°Hmm. Okay, but why do we need them?¡± asked Loma.

    ¡°Well you know, to make sure we don¡¯t go around deliberately fucking with each other¡¯s creations, kill each other in fits of rage, y¡¯know stuff like that¡± replied Naturum.

    Loma nodded and looked to the top of the pile. ¡°No one can destroy, damage, touch or otherwise interact with the chair falling to the bottom of the universe, with the exception of looking at it. What?¡±

    ¡°Okay, right, so that¡¯s included as like a test thing to make sure these contracts are actually binding. Me and Aomy tested them on each other before a bit, but we both thought it best to do a big test on everyone before y¡¯all signed the important ones.¡±

    Loma nodded again, albeit more hesitantly. ¡°Okay, but what chair at the bottom of the universe?¡±

    It was Scientia who responded. ¡°At the start of creation Naturum created a chair to sit on but it fell through the void and hasn¡¯t yet been stopped. It has been falling through empty space since then.¡±

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.Naturum nodded, before abruptly pausing. ¡°Wait, how d¡¯you know that?¡± she asked.

    Scientia paused for a moment. ¡°Research¡± he hesitantly, yet paradoxically boldly answered.

    Naturum scrutinised him for a second before shrugging. ¡°Well, whatever.¡± With a click of her finger, the table, chair and gods were outside, barrelling through space next to a simple chair. Curiously, none of the gods, or importantly the contracts seemed affected by the winds, as if the table were perfectly stationary. ¡°Alright, if y¡¯all can sign this¡± Naturum said, after signing the contract herself and passing it to the other gods.

    One by one, they all signed it and looked across at the chair. Dismissively, Damon tried to erase the chair from existence with his mind, but to his panic, found he could not. These gods had made properly binding contracts! Next, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism pulled back both his hand of fire and his hand of water, before thrusting them forwards. A huge beam of purple energy came blasting out from his hands but when the energy faded the chair was unfazed. Lastly, Scientia stood up, floated over to the chair and tried to grab it, but as he did, his hand refused to close the distance, as if the chair was protected by some kinda of barrier.

    He nodded appreciatively. ¡°It would appear that the chair is completely protected. It shall fall for all eternity."

    ¡°Fantastic!¡± cried Naturum, clapping her hands together as the void faded and the table was once again in Damon¡¯s ex-throne room. ¡°On to the important stuff then. If you object to any contracts, please bring up any complaints and any and all contracts you are under no obligation to sign, but like, most are pretty self-explanatory stuff, so I don¡¯t know why you wouldn¡¯t want to sign any? I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m getting side-tracked. Where was I? Ah, first contract.¡±

    She picked up a bit of paper and waved it around. ¡°Okay, so this one, is, in a nutshell, no fucking with mortals. I advise you to read the whole load of jargon yourselves, but basically, no killing a mortal for fun, no disposing of a king you dislike, and once a civilisation is set up, we¡¯re not gonna rule em, gotta let the mortals live the own lives. Obviously, you can guide them and stuff, especially if they¡¯re like, a worshipper of you, but that¡¯s about it. So, hopefully that¡¯s pretty standard god stuff, what do y¡¯all think?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like it¡± sneered Damon. ¡°I don¡¯t think any of us will go around killing mortals for fun, so it seems unnecessary and leaving ourselves unable to interfere with mortal affairs sounds pointlessly limiting and may cause us to be locked out of intervening in an emergency.¡±

    Loma shook his mighty earthen head. ¡°No, no, I like it. We have a lot of power, seems smart to ensure it doesn¡¯t get to our heads.¡±

    ¡°Absolute power corrupts absolutely¡± said Naturum, quoting something, although she had no idea what. ¡°Also, if like the world¡¯s ending, or like, bad shits happening cos of us fucking up in the first place, there¡¯s a clause for that. I think. Aomy knows the specific¡¯s more than I do.

    ¡°Well I suppose I¡¯ll sign it, if only to ensure Rich doesn¡¯t fireball the first city that shows up¡± declared Damon with a self-aggrandising smirk.

    ¡°Stop making weird assumptions about me! I wouldn¡¯t do that!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, waving his arms about wildly.

    ¡°Rizzleritchensteineonizziism does seem to have people¡¯s best interests in mind guys¡± mumbled Aomy. ¡°He made the immortals immortal because he wanted to make a heaven, remember? He¡¯s just a bit¡­reckless.¡±

    ¡°See!¡± yelled Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°She gets it! You¡¯ve been making weird presumptions about me since then! And! I! Won¡¯t! Stand for it!¡±

    ¡°You did say you¡¯d hunt my followers for sport¡­¡± mused Loma.

    ¡°As a joke!¡± exclaimed Rich, his flailing arms, flailing wilder.

    Loma shrugged. ¡°Fair enough. Anyway, Naturum, what¡¯s the next contract?¡±

    ¡°Okay, this one¡¯s a bit weirder.¡± She replied, holding a different bit of paper up, as everyone signed the first contract. ¡°Basically, its no time travel. At all. As like, a rule for the universe, not just the six of us.¡±

    ¡°Awwwwww¡± pouted Rizzleritchensteineonizziism.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, I know, sorry Rizzlerich¡± continued Naturum. ¡°But we decided time travels too messy. Like, not only could we potentially go back like, pre contracts to fuck each other up, if mortals got access to time travel who knows what would happen. Like, we don¡¯t know the rules of time travel and theres no real good and tidy option that won¡¯t lead to like, universal destruction, creation of new universes, or worrying implications on the nature of free will. Best left alone, we thought.¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism shrugged. ¡°Fiiiine, I get it¡± he grumbled as he signed the contract.

    Once again, all the gods joined him.

    Naturum clapped her hands together and grinned. ¡°Oh, this is going fantasitically smoothly. Okay, second to last but not second to least, here¡¯s another doozy. Basically, the six of us can¡¯t hurt each other. More specifically, we can¡¯t will each other out of existence if that¡¯s even possible, we can¡¯t physically assault each other, we can¡¯t make weapons to hurt each other with and we can¡¯t blast each other with god magic. Given how nebulous and untested our god powers are, this contract was a bitch to write, but hey, we got there! Important to note: You can try and emotionally hurt each other, we haven¡¯t forbidden that in the contract although, obviously, try not to. Any questions?¡±

    Damon frowned. He didn¡¯t like it but if he didn¡¯t sign this contract, it would look bad. So, even before the others had finished reading the legalese in full, he signed it.

    Loma shook his head. ¡°No, no questions from me¡± he said as he signed it too. Like before, one by one the other gods signed it.

    ¡°Okay, last contract¡± she exclaimed. ¡°And this one is important. As I said before, our powers are nebulous, and we may even be somewhat omnipotent. So, me and Aomy thought it would be necessary to introduce this one. No willing yourself out of a contract. No willing these contracts and their legal bindings out of existence. And if you have willed yourself out of any of these contracts before signing this one, it becomes binding again. Any objections?¡±

    There was a brief moment of silence before a voice cut through the quiet. ¡°It would be Aomy and I¡± Scientia grandly declared.

    Naturum blinked. ¡°Sorry, what?¡±

    ¡°You said, quote, ¡°me and Aomy thought it would be necessary to introduce this one." But grammar dictates that you should have said Aomy and I.¡± he replied.

    Naturum blinked again before her grin returned resplendently to her face. ¡°Nerd. Alright, anyone got any actual objections to the contract?¡±

    The other gods shook their heads and began to sign this all-important last contract. But Naturum wasn¡¯t ready to adjourn this meeting just yet.

    With a flourish and an almost comically theatrical puff of smoke, a new piece of paper appeared on the table before the gods.

    ¡°SURPRISE!¡± yelled Naturum. ¡°Bonus contract! If you could sign it quickly, please.¡±

    The other gods looked curiously at this last bit of paper. It was much less dense than the other contracts and in fact, written upon it was nought but a single sentence.

    "Upon signing this contract, you will immediately give Aomy and Naturum your thanks for putting their hard work into this very thoughtful preventative measure for the potential of god rampages.¡±

    The other gods looked back up at Naturum, many incredulous.

    ¡°I think not¡± Damon sneered.

    But Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s eyes were alight, and with smile full of mirth, he hastily signed the contract. Immediately his hand shot out and with a poof, a small, round hamster appeared in his palm. He strode over to the two goddesses and held it out, offering it to each of them.

    Now it was Naturum¡¯s turn to look incredulous. She looked to Rizzlerich, with a stare that was desperate for answers.

    Rizzlerich grinned. ¡°His name is your thanks. I have to give him to one of you, so please, one of you take him.¡±

    ¡°Hmmmm¡± rumbled Loma contemplatively. ¡°It would appear the contracts aren¡¯t infallible.¡±

    ¡°Okay, to be fair¡± Naturum began to retort, as she scooped your thanks into her hands. ¡°The other contracts are a lot more cheat proof than that one. I mean, yeah, they probably also have loopholes but they¡¯re not gonna be as easy as that one.¡± She began to stroke your thanks lovingly. ¡°Hey, Rizzlerich, now I have him I can change his name, right?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism shrugged. ¡°Sure, but you¡¯ll ruin the joke¡± he replied.

    ¡°Oh, I just wanted to give his name capital letters cos the contract had your thanks written in lowercase. The moment I realised that it really began to bug me.¡±

    Your Thanks looked up at Naturum with a look that if you thought hamsters were a lot smarter than they were, could be misinterpreted as gratefulness and adoration.

    ¡°Well, as necessary as you all seemed to think this was, this has been a long detour¡± sneered Damon as, with a click of his finger, his office chair turned into a replica of his old throne. It quickly slid into its position at the end of the red carpet and Damon could, at last, look down at the other gods. ¡°Now that this contract signing is finished, I re-adjourn this meeting. Go out there and get to your respective tasks. Its time to make mankind.¡±

 1.6: Weather Woes

    A colossal figure towered over all creation. He dwarfed all the life, the homes of the gods and even the entirety of the flat plain of dirt that Rizzleritchensteineonizziism had created one day ago. His rocky arms were like mountains and his flowing waterfall beard would put the Niagra Falls to shame. His name was Loma, the God of Geography and he had grown himself to an enormous size to look down over creation. Because he was going to shape a country.

    With mighty hands outstretched, what he willed became true and land began to unfurl beneath him, springing up out of one of the six corners of the dirt expanse. Immediately, several infinitesimal beings poured into these new lands, eager to see new sights. These were the immortals, the first beings born of this universe.

    Soon, springing up around them came lush grass, bushes and trees, the work of Naturum, Goddess of Nature. Loma had no doubt that she was not the only deity down below. He expected Scientia, the ibis-headed God of Knowledge, would be meticulously studying the work of the other gods, to record all the lore of this new land, and perhaps Damon, the angelic, silver god would also be there, monitoring the other gods and checking their work for flaws.

    Aomy, Goddess of Civilisation may also be there, although, considering how late she was to the meeting and how long it took her to make her form, maybe she wasn¡¯t. She¡¯s consistently been the last to do anything, including creating her floating island, which held upon it a city of resplendent white brick, accented by blue roofs and gold patterns. In the centre was a huge domed temple, presumably her home. Rich, the God of Magic could be anywhere. He was a wildcard.

    It was next to Aomy¡¯s home that Loma was shaping this new landmass. Damon had instructed him that the dirt plains and the homes of the gods must be in the centre of existence, so each country he made must look like slice of the total pie of creation. Loma thought this was a bit limiting and thought that all these thin countries placed next to each other may look a little unnatural. But, well, Damon was the boss, so Loma made do.

    Still, as vast as Rich¡¯s slapdash landmass seemed to be at mortal size, it wasn¡¯t nearly large enough to support several, even small countries sticking out of it. So, Loma made sure to start thin, then slowly expand the land as he moved away from the centre of Damon¡¯s pie.

    Loma was quite adept at maths, which turned out to be a blessing. Using some paper, pencils and other miscellaneous maths equipment he sketched out a rough draft of what the finished shape of what this pie continent would be, ensuring he left enough space for six countries. That seemed about right to Loma, 6 countries per continent, one for each god.

    And then, once he was done with this continent Loma would ask Damon if he could make a more interestingly shaped continent. Even Australia and Antarctica, the two roundest continents from Earth are more interesting than the vaguely lumpy circle his continent would most likely become. Although Loma vowed to never make a continent like Europe. Seriously, what the fuck is up with the shape of Europe?

    As he mused on the relative aesthetic strengths and weaknesses of continent shapes, Loma continued to work, willing new landmasses into existence with waves of his colossal rocky hands and before too long, he really got in the rhythm of it. With one powerful hand, a range of rolling hills assembled, with another, a mighty river flowed forth.

    Loma looked down at his work so far, the country of his own design, built meticulously by his own hand and smiled. Okay, so it was basically just England, which took away a bit from his sense of accomplishment, its hard to feel like the world has been built to your cosmic whims when you were just copying the work of nature, but still, no matter what doubts he had about how involved he actually was in the process, it was hard not to feel incredible. He was shaping countries!

    But also, it was very clearly England. It was planned to have about the same surface area, the bits to what he arbitrarily declared the south he¡¯d created relatively flat, while the north he planned to be mountainous, although never as impressively mountainous as Scotland or Wales, and the various rivers and lakes were designed to hold the iconic British amount of rain.

    Even what he saw of Naturum¡¯s plants reminded him of the kinds of things that grew in the English countryside. He wondered if Aomy would create a society of snobbish upper-class folk and lower-class cockney folk. Probably not, considering the gods were doing the whole England thing because they were making what they were familiar with, and Loma expected Aomy probably hasn¡¯t met a living English stereotype, but he would have found it funny if she had done that.

    Also taking away from his still considerable sense of achievement was the fact that he wasn¡¯t literally sculpting an entire country by hand. To be fair, the time and effort that would require would be enormous, so instead he willed into existence large swathes of land that would be shaped in accordance with what he deemed appropriate for that area.

    It was like having a code that procedurally generated a random landmass based on his geographical desires except without all the actual fiddly bits of coding which Loma could never get the hang of, instead, will what you want into existence, and it shall be made.

    This by no means made the country sculpting an easy task, at least in the eyes of Loma. Before even beginning to make land, he had to know what to code, and this was a lot harder than simply ensuring there were fewer hills down south and more hills up north. He had to ensure that ore was correctly distributed, so the humans weren¡¯t stuck out the iron age forever and he had to ensure that rocks near rivers were porous enough for flooding to not get too severe and unduly damage human settlements, et cetera, et cetera.

    And then, once the land had been made, he had to, keeping the coding analogy alive, ensure there were no bugs. Loma had played enough games with procedurally generated landscapes to know that often enough, terrain generation messed up, especially if the code was complicated. And this code was just about the most conceivably complicated code devised by man. Although Loma supposed it wasn¡¯t devised by man. He was god now.

    And so, Loma spent much of his time willing himself back to human size and inspecting his work by eye, or by willing certain bits of geographical information into his mind. Were these hills an appropriate size and shape in his eyes? In a draught, does the world contain enough water for most humans to survive? How would snow affect the landscape?

    All these questions and more, Loma asked himself as he surveyed his creation, checking it for faults and¡­ Wait. Snow, draught, flooding, iconic British amount of rain. Something clicked together in Loma¡¯s mind. He looked up and saw a perfectly clear day, not even a single cloud in the sky. No one had made the weather.

    Loma groaned an inhumanly deep rumbling moan as he searched his mind for anyone who would be able to make the weather. But out of civilisation, nature, magic, knowledge, geography and leader, geography clearly was the best suited to the job. Hell, he¡¯d even undergone a fairly in-depth study of how rain worked during his geography A-level but¡­ Well, Loma just really didn¡¯t want to make the weather.

    He¡¯d signed up to be a geography god to shape worlds, essentially being a god of landscapes and the weather just wasn¡¯t that. Making landscapes made him feel powerful and gave him great satisfaction, making the fiddliness worth it. Making the weather just sounded fiddly with no upsides.

    Besides¡­ He looked up at the sun above him to check the time. Huh, by its position in the sky it was still earlyish in the morning, around nine, meaning he would have time to get both weather and landscape done. But he was sure that when he¡¯d woken up it was also around nine. Had no one made the sun move? But last night there was, well, a night and a moon. Maybe the sun just moved slower? Whatever, he¡¯d ask the others at the next meeting of the gods, in the meantime, he conjured his phone back into existence to get a reliable source of timekeeping.

    It really was a blessing to be able to conjure technology from their world into existence, Loma really didn¡¯t know if he¡¯d be able to live without it. Not that there weren¡¯t limitations, of course. Whenever he¡¯d try to use the internet to get any information past when he¡¯d been brought to this new world nothing would come up, presumably a limitation placed on them by God. And that hurt. He¡¯d really wanted to see how his family and friends were doing. Did they miss him? Had he been reported missing on the news? And just, what had been happening on Earth since he left?

    But whenever he tried to check it was as if the internet had just stopped updating past a certain point and he was left unable to do little more than stare at old posts and pictures of his old home and reminisce. Wait, what was he thinking? He shook his head to clear those thoughts from his mind. He¡¯d only been gone a day, he shouldn¡¯t be thinking like this. Yes, his family was worried, yes that sucked and yes, he wanted to return, but he had a job to do. Besides¡­ He looked back at the already considerable amount of land he had conjured from nothing, and his heart swelled with pride once more. It wasn¡¯t as if there was nothing for him in this new world.

    Fortunately, one of the features of his phone that hadn¡¯t been limited was its ability to tell the time far more accurately than any physical clock and so he looked down at its home page. About three-thirty. He looked back at the land he¡¯d made so far in deep contemplation. He¡¯d made good progress, sure, but getting the amount of land he planned to get made done would still be a challenge, especially if he wanted to get a good bit of rest done tonight, which to Loma was non-negotiable, meaning¡­ Yes! He would have to dump the problem of making the weather onto someone else.

    But who? Loma thought for a moment before settling on Naturum. The weather is a natural thing after all and if geography includes weather because you learn about it in a geography course then nature should include weather because its natural. And so, temporarily leaving his creation behind he willed himself to appear next to Naturum.

    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    The rolling hills of his England inspired country vanished and Loma found himself inside a room carved out from a tree. It had been furnished since Aomy visited, complete now with sofa, modest kitchen, table and chairs and a ladder leading up to what would presumably be the bedroom. Also within the room was a classroom sized whiteboard, scrawled upon which was a convoluted series of lines running between the names of animals and various random notes had been scribbled in between these lines.

    Outside, Loma could hear cheerful birdsong as Naturum had gotten around to filling her floating island home with its own ecosystem and inside, he could a very loud scream as Naturum, who had a moments prior been staring intently at her whiteboard, fell off her chair in shock.

    ¡°Jesus Christ Loma, you gave me a heart attack!¡± she cried. ¡°Or would it be son of me? This whole replacing god with me thing is really starting to fall apart. Not gonna stop doing it though! How have you been?¡±

    ¡°Good, good. And uh, sorry about the shock¡± he apologised.

    Naturum got up and began to pick up the chair she had been sitting on. ¡°Nah, don¡¯t worry, its fine. I presume you have a good reason for visiting my humble abode. Without knocking.¡±

    Loma¡¯s look of guilt intensified. ¡°Ahhh, yeah, sorry again¡± he apologised again. ¡°In my defence I thought you¡¯d be outside.¡±

    Naturum had sat down at this point and conjured up a new seat behind Loma. ¡°Ahhhhhh, makes sense. I have been outside most of today but-¡° Naturum was interrupted by the sound of splintering as the chair Loma sat down upon shattered under the weight of what was essentially mountain made man. She giggled and cried ¡°HA HA, revenge!¡± Loma gave her a reproachful look and she continued by saying ¡°Okay, I¡¯m sorry, couldn¡¯t help it. Here, have a better chair.¡±

    As she spoke, she conjured another chair behind Loma and once he¡¯d properly tested his weight against it he sat down. ¡°Okay, so where was I?¡± asked Naturum to herself. ¡°Ah, right. Yeah, I¡¯ve been outside most of today making sure all the plants look good but once it came to animals everything got a bit tricky.¡±

    Loma nodded. ¡°Being a god is surprisingly finnicky.¡±

    ¡°Oh my me, yeah it is.¡± Agreed Naturum. ¡°Except I didn¡¯t realise how fiddly it¡¯d be at first, so I was just throwing animals into the ecosystem as I thought of them, cos y¡¯know that worked for plants. So, I threw some birds into the trees and moved on and decided to create some worms. The birds, having nothing else to eat immediately swooped down and BAM! Worm population was just devastated.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Poor things.¡± Naturum looked down for a second before brightening. ¡°Still at least they didn¡¯t suffer much. I don¡¯t give a shit about what Damon said about not making this world a utopia, I¡¯m making shit as nice as possible for my animals. They have increased happiness levels compared to animals from our world which I¡¯ve heard are surprisingly depressed, but they still act how an Earth animal would. Plus, I did a thing where animals brains shut down moments before they enter the painful part of dying, y¡¯know being attacked or like, entering the final moments of disease. Its like a mercy thing, the kind of thing that wouldn¡¯t be possible without the presence of gods who can install rules that take being able to know the future into account.¡±

    ¡°I see, that¡¯s nice¡± mumbled Loma, who, truth be told, was starting to feel increasingly out of place in what was quickly becoming Naturum¡¯s passionate nature monologue.

    And she was showing no signs of slowing down just yet. ¡°Yeah. Anyway, I froze those birds and all the other animal life I¡¯ve made so far in time, so nothing can interact with them while I build a proper food chain. That¡¯s what this whiteboard is for. I¡¯m sticking every animal I can think of that would work well in an England style environment onto the board, connecting them by what they all eat, adding any complications in notes around it and once I think its complete, I¡¯m gonna will them all into existence, in the numbers that my god powers will have calculated that they would reach given say, 1000 years of existing within this ecosystem and then BAM! Ecosystem numero uno complete!¡±

    Loma really hoped that this was the end of her speech but couldn¡¯t help asking one more question that might prolong it. ¡°So, are you just going with animals that actually come from England, right? No fantasy ones?¡±

    Naturum looked surprisingly dejected for a moment. ¡°Okay, so I really wanted to go in, guns blazing and just make a shit ton of dragons but like, that¡¯d probably have a really big effect on the ecosystem, so I¡¯m saving fantasy creatures until last, cos then it will be easier to assess how well they fit. I¡¯m really hoping that I can add some today but it all really depends on how quickly I can get the regular, Earth-y ecosystem done. Also, probably won¡¯t be able to make dragons here. They¡¯d be too ecosystem warping. If I don¡¯t add any today, I¡¯ll probably retroactively add some later. Definitely gonna make a ton of fantasy creatures for all the other countries we¡¯re gonna make over the course of however long we¡¯re stuck here in this shitty universe.¡±

    Loma nodded. ¡°And errr, how busy are you?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Oh my me, so busy¡± she cried. ¡°Why do you ask?¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you¡¯d be willing to make the weather for me. I¡¯d do it, but I don¡¯t have much time left to build the rest of this country. I made notes.¡±

    Naturum looked thoughtful for a moment before looking out her window to check the time. She quickly realised her mistake and willed the knowledge into her mind. ¡°Ugghhh, I¡¯m sorry¡± she said, looking genuinely apologetic. ¡°But I¡¯m not confident I¡¯ve got much time left to complete this ecosystem myself. There¡¯s a lot to research and a lot of making sure that introducing X animal won¡¯t fuck everything up for Y animal and so on. It turns out that a lot of things live in the UK. Who knew?¡±

    Loma smiled, albeit slightly worriedly. ¡°Nah, don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m sure I can find someone else¡± he lied. ¡°And I presume you? And I guess me, although I couldn¡¯t tell you any specifics.¡±

    ¡°Oh I could tell you SO many specifics¡± replied Naturum. ¡°Did you know we have scorpions? Not many of them but we do. Also, wallabies.¡±

    ¡°What? No way does England have wallabies.¡±

    Naturum laughed. ¡°Think again, Loma. There¡¯s a colony of them in the Isle of Man. Also, there¡¯s some in Scotland but, y¡¯know, that¡¯s not England. Both times they were introduced to Britian by humans, they¡¯re not native, so I¡¯m not adding them to this ecosystem probably. They¡¯re just gonna have to wait if they wanna exist, until we make an Australia equivalent country.¡± She looked thoughtful again. ¡°Or I suppose, if we make an Australia equivalent country. I hope we won¡¯t.¡±

    Loma smile went from worried to confused. ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Oh, nothing against Australia!¡± Naturum cried in response. ¡°Just, I hope sooner rather than later we get really good at this whole worldbuilding thing and start making really fantastical landscapes, the likes of which we could never see on Earth. Making ecosystems for places like that would just really be a good creative outlet for me. Plus it would mean I¡¯d have to think about Earth less¡­¡± Naturum¡¯s voice trailed off as she began to stare into space.

    ¡°Errr, well, okay, I¡¯ll leave you to this then¡± said Loma somewhat awkwardly. ¡°See you later.¡±

    ¡°Huh? Oh, right, bye¡± replied Naturum as Loma winked out of existence.

    Instantly he was back, standing on his earthen hills, breathing in the fresh (in more than one meaning of the word) mountain air and he sighed. Who next? Scientia, he was the god of knowledge, he probably knew how weather worked, and he probably wasn¡¯t very busy because his job was one of the least important ones. Loma willed himself to appear by him but found he could not. Strange.

    Maybe Damon then? He also probably wasn¡¯t very busy, and Loma thought he could probably ask him for a favour. But when he tried to will himself to him, he found that also wouldn¡¯t work. Very strange. And that just left Aomy and Rich. Hmm. The weather was kind of like magic, right?

    Wrong. But Loma was quickly running out of options, so he decided to will himself to wherever Rich was. Although, maybe to prevent another panic attack, he should message ahead first?

    ¡°Hey Rich¡± called out Loma, projecting his thoughts straight into the god of magics mind. ¡°Do you mind if I teleport over to you? I¡¯ve got some stuff I want to talk about.¡±

    ¡°SURE!¡± came Rich¡¯s deafening reply, the thought boomed into Loma¡¯s mind like a million fireworks exploding at once. Loma decided to immediately will himself to Rich before he decided to send anymore thoughts his way.

    This turned out to be a bad idea because upon arrival Loma was deafened anyway by the sheer noise of Rizzleritchensteineonizziism the first ever¡¯s home. Well, presumably his home. Judging by the view out the window Loma was in the chaotic vortex that encircled what was presumably Rich¡¯s floating island. There was a bunk bed, beneath which was a computer, a desk and piles upon piles of strewn about bits of paper, which all seemed to point towards the fact this was his home.

    But Loma wasn¡¯t thinking about any of these things, all his thoughts had turned to the sheer sensory overload of the lights and the sounds of this place. The whole room flashed with light, alternating between bright colours, the type you¡¯d expect at a party except cranked up to eleven and the music was deafening, and sounded to Loma like a confusing mashup of classic late nineties songs.

    ¡°RICH!¡± shouted Loma.

    The god in question was lying in his bed, fiddling with some kind of¡­ glowing rock? He leaned down to look at Loma. ¡°YEAH?!¡± he yelled back.

    ¡°TURN THAT MUSIC OFF. PLEASE!¡± cried Loma.

    ¡°NO!!!¡± yelled Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. But he did turn the sound down a considerable amount.

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Loma was clearly shaken by the experience of just existing in Rizzlerich¡¯s room for mere moments. ¡°How do you think in those conditions?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism grinned. ¡°I think very loud thoughts!¡± he exclaimed. ¡°What did you wanna talk to me about?¡±

    ¡°Right, right¡± panted Loma, still needing to take a breather after the assault on his senses moments prior. ¡°I need someone to make the weather for me because I don¡¯t have the time. I have my A-level geography notes on how it all works here. Could you do it for me, everyone else is busy.¡±

    Rizzle looked hurt by this comment. ¡°Are you implying I¡¯m not busy? I got magic to make.¡±

    ¡°I mean, everyone else¡¯s jobs are somewhat time sensitive. You can implement magic whenever, right?¡±

    Rich looked thoughtful for a moment. ¡°New problem. Making the weather sounds boorrrinnngg.¡±

    Loma agreed completely but he had to sell Rich on this or else this new England he was making would be a great deal smaller and he would have to be the one to make the weather. ¡°It can be quite interesting¡± he mumbled unconvincingly.

    As he spoke the mashup faded out and was replaced by what Loma didn¡¯t know was a nightcore remix of a pop song he equally hadn¡¯t heard of.

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism stared incredulously down at the mountainous god. ¡°If a rando was given the option between making magic or the weather¡± he spat the word weather out with clear disdain. ¡°Which do you think they would pick?¡±

    Loma would pale if he had human skin. ¡°Well, maybe they would choose to make the weather out of a sense of responsibility?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism laughed a single mocking laugh. ¡°Responsibility!¡± he cried. ¡°Responsibility is a lie made up to guilt people into doing something that the person telling the lie should have already done! Responsibility isn¡¯t reealll.¡±

    That cut surprisingly deep. Desperately Loma exclaimed ¡°Look, please, this has got to be done. You have my permission to make the weather as interesting as you like, take liberties with my notes, do whatever!¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s eyes gleamed with a somewhat manic light. ¡°Done! One condition though.¡±

    All tension immediately loosed from Loma¡¯s body. ¡°Anything.¡±

    ¡°Say. My. Name.¡± The grin on Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s face had once more stretched off his face.

    Loma immediately re-tensed. ¡°Rizzle-ritchen-stein-eo-nizzi-ism?¡± He stumbled hopelessly over the half-remembered syllables.

    ¡°The weather shall be made, you have my word!¡± cried the chaotic god.

    ¡°Thank god!¡± cried Loma in response before immediately teleporting back to his comforting simple landscape. He really hoped he hadn¡¯t made a mistake. He did not like that gleam in Rich¡¯s eyes.

 1.7: The Birth of Man

    In the centre of a flat dirt plain, surrounded by the homes of the gods, there stood a great silver castle in the sky. In this castle were a great many secrets, such as hidden rooms, their walls made of jet-black rock and lava flowed from wall, ceiling and floor. And within one of these rooms there was god. His skin was red, his eyes yellow and his face sharp. The god¡¯s name was Damon, God of Evil and he had hidden himself away from the other gods and willed it so that no being, god or otherwise could get close to him. This was because Damon was sulking.

    Of course, he would not describe his actions as sulking. In his mind he was seething, or perhaps plotting, something that conveyed his rage and plans of revenge, something that implied he was completely in control, like he still somewhat believed he was. But to any outside observer, it would be hard to describe his actions as anything but sulking. He felt humiliated after Naturum¡¯s contract reveal performance, felt trapped by the contracts power. And he hated that.

    And so, he moped, raged, planned the elaborate deaths of the 5 other gods and desperately searched for a loophole found within Naturum¡¯s contracts. And then a thought struck him. Oh, of course! That was what is wrong with Gods words at the start of creation! Damon¡¯s moping was gone and immediately it was replaced by his typical arrogance and smug satisfaction.

    ¡°I am in control!¡± he thought. ¡°And I was always in control. The last few hours, well, that was just a blip, barely notable, a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. I am a genius!¡±

    The smug dismissive smile that had become the very icon of his face once more appeared, now emphasised by the unapologetically cruel features of his more archetypically villainous form. Several miles away, Loma was using his omnipotence to send messages directly into the mind of Rizzleritchensteineonizziism and after a brief moment of planning, Damon did much the same, connecting his mind with one of the other limited number of beings within this small universe. It was time to put his schemes into motion.

    <hr>

    On the edge of a flat dirt plain, bordering the ring of the gods and the beginnings of a new country, there was an island, floating in the sky and connected to the soil below via a colossal iron chain. Upon this island was a city, majestic and complete with mighty spires, parapets and in its centre, a great domed temple. Within this temple was a stage, theatrical, large and placed before thousands of seats and upon this stage there was a god. Her skin was gold, translucent and featureless, her clothes a rich blue. Her name was Aomy, Goddess of Civilisations and she was curled up in a ball, almost shaking. This was because Aomy was panicking.

    She¡¯d started making humans an hour ago and for the most part doing so had been easy. Well. Somewhat easy. The actual making of humans was easy, because, well she was a human, all she had to do was use her god powers to make a bunch of them appear. There were of course complications like where should she place them? In what numbers? How should she handle aging and so on and so forth.

    To answer the first two questions, she had decided that she shouldn¡¯t go overboard with numbers, she wanted humans to be able to grow into their lands and not immediately get overcrowded and thus, humans had been created in small, village to town sized clumps spread across this new land. As an added consideration, Aomy ensured that as Loma created new lands, more humans would automatically appear in these rough same proportions.

    To answer the third, she had already been pretty confident in how to go about ageing her creations, making them be created at age 20, with all the maturity that brought because, well, she didn¡¯t value human survival that highly if they were all created as babies. She had also ensured that for the first twenty years of their life they wouldn¡¯t age, because it really wouldn¡¯t be fair on these original humans if they had a twenty-year lower life expectancy than all the humans that came after them.

    The most difficult part of her creation of humanity so far was deciding what knowledge to give them. It was really something she should have asked Scientia about, it was his job to provide the other gods with knowledge when they needed it, but Aomy had felt too awkward to directly ask the other god for help, so she continued ahead, gifting these humans with whatever her god powers had decided was an appropriate level of information, for medieval people, in fields of agriculture, construction, blacksmithing, tailoring, hunting, language and a whole host of other areas of expertise, as well as the knowledge that for all future generations, they would be born with next to no knowledge and would have to be taught.

    It had been almost fun in a simple way, brainstorming everything humanity needs to get a good start in building a thriving civilisation. She¡¯d even gone out her way to advance some knowledge beyond the medieval age. She really hadn¡¯t wanted her humans to not realise that they should probably be consistently washing their hands and brushing their teeth and heavens forbid they thought that leeches solved all medical ills for hundreds of years.

    But well, for Aomy, the fun had now stopped, and everything was no longer simple. For there was one field of knowledge that Aomy would never give her people, that she thought she¡¯d never have the right to give her people, or else the humans of this new world would never know true freedom. She would never give them morality.

    If there was one thing above all else, that Aomy believed harder and more passionately than anything, it was that the greatest strength of sapient life was its ability to change. Thus, she would never create beings beholden to a set of values, no inherently good races like the metallic dragons of Labyrinths and Legends and definitely none that were inherently evil like the orcs of Lady of the Rings.

    For, while that may make for interesting fantasy, this was the real world, and she would ensure that all the people she made would be allowed what she considered to be free will. Besides, she was human, she had the ability to change, and her moral compass had changed throughout her life. Who could say that her ideals were the true good, who could say she knew what true evil was? Best for her creations to struggle with these concepts themselves and best they could reach their own conclusions.

    And yet, despite all this, Aomy had suffered due to the problems of civilisations on Earth. Laws, attitudes and negligence, many enforced by those she would consider immoral and wrong had caused people, both like and unlike her, incredible amounts of pain. Aomy had vowed that to the best of her ability she would not let the sins of civilisations both past and present be repeated in this new world. This was why she had taken the role of Civilisation goddess in the first place.

    But, if she could not make humans born already ascribing to her way of thinking as that would compromise their freedoms then how would she ensure that the civilisations of this new world were as fair and equal as she could manage? Well, that was simple. She¡¯d have to convince them herself. She would have to make a speech.

    This was the cause of Aomy¡¯s fear, the reason she was curled up in a ball, and the reason she was doing so on a stage. Here she would project her image into the sights of all the humans and make a grand speech to persuade them of her beliefs. In other words, public speaking. In front of a ridiculous amount of people. With really high stakes. Aomy curled tighter and tighter into her ball, her will to continue procrastinating rising higher and higher. This, truly, was her worst nightmare.

    She had already been lying here for hours and she was really beginning to lose hope that she could ever uncurl and get on. She basically knew what her speech should be now, but it was like there was a great block in her mind preventing her from getting on, no matter how much she tried to persuade herself she should.

    It was somewhat like how she procrastinated work in general really, although perhaps, with the strength of this fear, the block had been somewhat turned up to eleven. Maybe she should try her methods of escaping procrastination on Earth? They rarely worked but she supposed it was better than nothing.

    Maybe she could go for a walk, clear her head? She¡¯d been holed up here for so long and she hadn¡¯t realised how much she wanted to see the fruits of Loma¡¯s labour, see what this new country looked like in person. If her god form had had a mouth she would have smiled, even if it would have been faint. In a flash, she teleported herself to a random point of this new land.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    Immediately, she was blinded by how much brighter it was out here than in her dark theatre, but once she was able to see, she felt a great awe at the vista before her. By chance she had appeared in the north, close to the edge of what Loma had created so far.

    She stood at the edge of a cliff, and because of that she could see miles of landscapes before her. Mighty hills and mountains, the bases of which many covered in thick forests, a grand lake shimmered a radiant blue in the distance and even the grass she stood on felt magical, seeming to be far more vibrant and green than could be found on Earth. Above her was a beautifully blue sky, almost empty save for the beginnings of the first clouds forming on this world.

    A red kite swooped past her, closer than any bird of prey had flown past her before and she watched, entranced as it flew behind her and up past a second incredible cliff. Despite its familiarity, it was a landscape that could never be found in the UK. It was majestic. It felt like someone had taken England and added a touch of magic.

    Or maybe Aomy never left the confines of urban areas much. Either way, the healing effect this had on her soul could never be understated and she began her wander through this incredible bit of countryside, staring up at the cliff, and staring down at the view below her. And then she stopped and squinted. Was that someone up on the cliff? A vague silhouette could be seen. Then, Aomy¡¯s heart skipped a beat as the figure jumped.

    The silhouette had been just above her when she noticed it, so when the figure fell, she began to make out the shape more clearly. She saw impossibly blue and spiky hair, a fairly handsome face and the cockiest and most self-confident grin she had ever seen on a person. They collided with the ground with a thud, but their body was undamaged. They must be an immortal.

    ¡°Wassup!¡± the immortal cried and began to excitedly run over to Aomy. ¡°You don¡¯t look anything like anything I¡¯ve seen before, what the fuck are you? Oh, sorry bout the rudeness but to be fair, kinda on a mission by the gods to review their shit so I kinda gotta ask bout stuff, so I can understand enough to review it! How cool is that by the way? Bet your existence ain¡¯t nearly as cool as mine!¡±

    Aomy immediately tensed. She had no idea how to talk to this person, she hadn¡¯t been prepared to talk to anyone yet! After an awkwardly long period of time Aomy mumbled ¡°Um, I¡¯m Aomy. And errr, I¡¯m a god. Goddess. Of civilisations.¡±

    ¡°My apologies!¡± The wild immortal immediately dropped to one knee; head bowed. ¡°I must profess my sincere apologies, almighty one. Had I known your identity, I would never have been so discourteous! I offer myself up to you now, as your most humble of servants, Zachary.¡±

    Oh god, this made it even harder to talk to him! ¡°I, er, you, ah, don¡¯t need to talk to me like that. Um, keep it up around Damon and maybe the other gods but around me, please be as casual as you like.¡±

    ¡°Thank fuck!¡± cried Zach. ¡°Then call me Zach. Nice to meet¡¯cha by the way! I¡¯ve been meaning to send the review bout that village I found. Glad I didn¡¯t yet, cos I woulda had no idea who to send it to! Civilisations all like, villages and towns and shit right?¡±

    Ah, right, she hadn¡¯t sent her information to the immortals yet, they were still relying on Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s limited and out of date information. She resolved to send them the information once she finished talking to Zach. ¡°Um, yeah¡± she murmured.

    ¡°Radical. Hey why not send it right now, face to face and all that? Alright, here¡¯s what I got! Really honoured that you shaped them like us. We musta made a killer impression right, to make two species that look like that in a row, right? Hair¡¯s lame though, spice it up like ours!¡±

    ¡°Oh god, he¡¯s gotten completely the wrong idea¡± thought Aomy.

    Zach carried on, oblivious to his obliviousness. ¡°Anyway, they¡¯re hella cool. You should meet Clive by the way. What a legend! Definitely check out that village if you got time¡±

    Aomy hesitated for an unreasonably long time. ¡°You don¡¯t happen to be able to give me directions?¡±

    ¡°Right up that cliff basically. Pretty scenic if you¡¯re the kinda guy who likes that sorta thing. For me, it just gives me this incredible urge to leap. Speaking of, that cliffs been tempting me all conversation and I think I can¡¯t resist the plunge. The adrenaline¡¯s just incredible! See ya!¡±

    And with that, Aomy saw him take a running start before leaping recklessly off the edge.

    Aomy felt like she¡¯d have to take a long nap before regaining the energy that interaction had drained from her, but as she walked across the scenic plateau, she felt herself reach her usual lack of energy. It took her a longer while to convince herself to head to village, but eventually she persuaded herself to visit. Besides, she was curious.

    There was a moment of panic where she wondered if the cliff stretched right around the mountain and some humans had accidentally spawned in a location they couldn¡¯t escape from but after half an hour of walking she breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the cliff fade to a relatively traversable slope.

    By the time she reached the village, it would have been sunset, had she been walking in a world where sunsets happened. It had been built overlooking the cliff, albeit far enough away so that even children playing sixty feet from the village would be in no danger of falling from the edge.

    Behind the village was a forest, which many villagers were still chopping down, in the process of getting enough wood to build enough homes for every member of the village to be able to sleep, even if they had to sleep in cramped conditions. The bustle of people moving from place to place was so focused and the conversations they were having so engaging that it was only until Aomy got really close to the village that anyone noticed her.

    But, when one person noticed her, everyone noticed her. A young man saw her, his eyes widened, and he dropped to one knee, head bowed, in the same position as Zach had been when he realised Aomy was a goddess. The people around him saw him adopting this position, glanced around and when they saw Aomy, copied the man. It was mere moments before the village were silent, everyone turned to face the civilisation goddess in positions of reverence.

    With all the shock it took too long for Aomy to realise what was going on. They recognised her! Of course they did, Aomy hadn¡¯t adopted any disguise or anything. Her mind raced. What the fuck could she say to these people?

    After an uncomfortably long period of silence, a wiry man ran through the village and threw himself to her feet, tears in his eyes. After an even more uncomfortable period of silence while Aomy struggled to find a good way to phrase the question, ¡°Why are you crying?¡± the man spoke.

    ¡°Thank you o¡¯goddess! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!¡±

    More silence. Eventually Aomy managed to stutter ¡°Um. For what?¡±

    The man looked up at her, a wide smile hidden beneath his tears. ¡°For creating us! For the incredible gift of life!¡±

    ¡°Um, it was nothing¡± came Aomy¡¯s thoroughly underwhelming reply. His words did make sense to Aomy. By the time humans were aware enough to comprehend their own existence, they¡¯d already gotten used to being alive. But these people, born fully formed? It must have felt miraculous.

    Another person, a woman, threw herself to Aomy¡¯s feet next to the wiry man. ¡°Thank you so much!¡±

    ¡°Um. For life?¡± Aomy mumbled.

    ¡°No, for giving us all this incredible knowledge. Who knows how many of us would die without it!¡±

    An incredibly burly man came next, hurling himself before Aomy as the others had, although no tears filled his eyes. ¡°Thank you.¡± Aomy let him finish. She had no idea what to say. ¡°You created us all together. You are to thank for being able to meet all my friends.¡±

    And then person after person joined them.

    ¡°Thank you for placing us near such an incredible view!¡± came one voice.

    ¡°Thank you for making me the hottest in the village¡± came another.

    It took some time but eventually all the villagers that wanted to personally thank her said their piece, leaving Aomy, now surrounded by people, once more awkwardly in silence. It was then, that another person strolled over to her. They were bald, androgynous and while their eyes held tears within like many other villagers, they also held a spark of exceptional intelligence that most other villagers lacked.

    They stood facing her a while, as if appraising her, before saying ¡°You¡¯re a person, just like us.¡±

    If Aomy had had a face she would have blinked in shock. ¡°Um. Y-yeah? Well, a person given a lot of power, but yeah.¡±

    They nodded. ¡°I thank you too Aomy.¡± They dropped to one knee, the position they held before, but they did not throw themself before Aomy like the other villagers had. ¡°I thank you more than words can convey. I thank you for life and I especially thank you for your knowledge. I offer my life to you, not in an act of blind reverence but as one human would to another who has done more than save their life. What is your will?¡±

    ¡°My-my will?¡± stuttered Aomy. ¡°Like, what I want?¡±

    The person nodded. Aomy thought for a moment and then continued. ¡°I want everyone to be equal. Equally happy. And. And I¡¯m going to announce my will to all of humanity soon. In a big speech. Until then, treat your fellows with respect.¡±

    The person nodded their head again. ¡°I will ensure that your will is carried out. Goodbye Aomy¡±

    ¡°Did they say goodbye because they knew I would be too socially inept to leave the village otherwise¡± Aomy thought as she winked out of the village and back onto her stage. She briefly transformed back to her human form to reveal tears streaming down her face.

    Yes, the whole experience had been embarrassing as hell, but she had just been so moved by all the people who had loved her, so reassured that she had done some good for this world. Her gratefulness was beyond measure, even as her doubts tried to persuade her that most likely, most humans would not think as they did. She would get to writing that speech now. And she would endeavour to never let those people down.

 1.8: Excelsior!

    It was with a great burst of energy that Aomy began to type her speech, her fingers flying over the keyboard she had created mere moments ago. It was rare that a conversation ever gave her energy, usually the opposite was true and thus she vowed to not waste this moment and finish this speech as fast as she could.

    Given that she more or less already knew what she planned to write, this endeavour went well, and soon, Aomy was looking at a grand script. She gave it a few once-overs, checking it for obvious mistakes or poor word choices which she could replace with something more persuasive.

    She looked to the corner of the computers screen, noticed how little time left in the day there was, and feeling the pressure, decided that this was good enough. Using her divine omnipotence, she downloaded the speech directly into her brain, forgoing the need to practise or learn it. Then, she waved away her makeshift writing set-up and hesitantly turned towards the rows of seats that faced her stage.

    She walked over to the stage¡¯s centre and froze. Her heart beat faster and faster in her chest, and her breaths became shallow and short. She wasn¡¯t ready for this! Images of the time flashed in her mind, reminding her of the need for urgency, as well as the faces of those villagers who had looked up to her with such admiration.

    Steeling herself, she opened communication links to all the settlements of this world. It was the only way she could escape the procrastination, the only way to stop herself locking up with fear. Start talking to them all immediately and not give herself a way out.

    Across the stage several images flickered into existence, each showing a scene from a settlement from all across this new universe. Likewise, her image was being projected back through these screens, and as people began to notice, she saw dozens, hundreds and then thousands of humans congregating in front of these portals, some curious, some in positions of worship, many expectant or nervous. But not as nervous as Aomy, oh god no. Seeing all these people gathered together, she had fully locked up, whole body insanely tense. There were so many people!

    It was a long time before Aomy said anything, rationalising this action as a means for everyone to gather, but had she been honest with herself she would have known it was completely just because of nerves. She stared out across her hall, at each of the images she had conjured. All of them had been ringed with a glowing dark blue light, intended by Aomy to invoke a fantastical feel. She tried to see if she could spot the village she had encountered, but there were just so many screens that picking out one specific one in particular was nigh impossible. She gulped.

    ¡°Um. Greetings!¡± she hesitantly announced with an unrehearsed arm wave that looked awkward and stunted. ¡°People of¡­¡± Shit! She was going off script, and she didn¡¯t know what they were the people of.

    ¡°Come on Aomy¡± she mentally berated herself. ¡°Get it together¡±

    ¡°Um. Yes, people of this new world! As you all know, I am Aomy, Goddess of Civilisations, and I am here to guide you!¡±

    Internally, she was incredibly relieved for creating herself with a featureless face as this meant that no one could tell how out of depth she was from it. Unbeknownst to her several humans gossiped amongst themselves, remarking upon her hunched stance and insecure manner of speech.

    ¡°As you also know, I created you, as that is my role as civilisation goddess. But, I have another role. I have vowed to guide the civilisations of this world to prosperity and away from calamitous ruin.¡± She hesitantly paused as she appraised the scenes of the various villages. Many seemed unresponsive, which she supposed made sense, she hadn¡¯t really said anything yet, but a limited number seemed to be laughing amongst themselves. She took a few seconds to scream inside her own mind before carrying on.

    ¡°W-with the powers I-I-I have as a goddess, I can foresee a great many tragedies that could befall you, humanity! Futures where lives are casually tossed aside for scant justification, futures where the needs of the few are prioritised above the needs of the many, and in the direst circumstances, futures where sapient life as we know it, is erased forever!¡±

    These lines, after a brief hiccup, had been delivered surprisingly passionately and confidently. She glanced through the screens where people had been laughing and smugly noticed they had stopped. Yeah, that had shut them up!

    ¡°I implore you, my creations, to avoid these dark paths at any cost! To escape these fates, I have guidelines that may seem simple, but you would be surprised at how many would be tempted to ignore them for brief personal gain. First! Be kind. Not just to your friends, family or lovers, but be kind to all you meet, so long as they treat you well back.

    You may meet a great variety of people in your lives. Many won¡¯t think like you. Many will have superficial differences to you. Many may even not be human! But treat them as you wish to be treated. Treat them with kindness.¡±

    A thought crossed her mind, that quickly disrupted her speech. ¡°Er, but like, if you¡¯re being attacked, you can, uh, situation depending, defend yourself. And um, like, animals and stuff, you can still, uh, farm, with all the information I gave you. You don¡¯t have to stop that. But, um, obviously, don¡¯t be cruel to animals, they still have feelings, but like, you get what I mean. Um. Basically, before immediately striking something, talk to them. If they respond, then don¡¯t hurt them unless they hurt you.¡±

    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°I¡¯m losing people!¡± her doubts screamed. ¡°Back on script, back on script!¡±

    ¡°Um, yeah. S-s-second. Um.¡± She was mumbling now, and had she not amplified her voice before this speech she was sure the people in the back would not be able to hear her. ¡°Value¡­er, value freedom. Let no one. Um. Let no person, be limited more by the rules of society, than anyone else. Er, unless they have themselves broken these rules. Like, ah, but even then, treat them with dignity and respect, value their lives, and aim to rehabilitate, not unduly punish. Yeah.¡±

    All thoughts had fully left her head, replaced exclusively by her internal, panicked wails.

    ¡°Um. Third! You must understand complete equality. Do not let people hoard wealth or resources, even those who may become law makers, and do not give any one lawmaker, or any group of lawmakers complete control, each person should have a say in societies creation. In an ideal civilisation, all people must be as equal as possible.¡± The glow that was her faces equivalent to a smile began to shine slightly and the scream in her head died down slightly. That paragraph too, had been quite well delivered.

    ¡°Yes! Follow these three guidelines well, and I guarantee your civilisation will prosper. The specifics of your countries formation I leave to you. I, uh, eagerly await the payoff to your hard work, eagerly await the creation of your cities and towns and I can¡¯t wait to see the society you produce. Um. Any questions?¡±

    Aomy¡¯s theatre was silent, but only for a brief moment.

    ¡°If the end result, is complete annihilation, why didn¡¯t ya just create us unable to break yer guidelines!¡± cried one gruff voice from the crowd.

    ¡°Oh good, the kind of deep question that¡¯s asked in philosophy and ethics classes. At least I do kinda have a response¡± Aomy thought.

    Out loud, she replied. ¡°Freedom, basically. If you were bent to my whims, you wouldn¡¯t truly be free. Free will is one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon sapient life.¡±

    That actually managed to elicit some appreciative mumblings from the crowd. Then another shriller voice spoke up. ¡°You said ¡°people of¡± at one point. Where are we the people of exactly?¡±

    ¡°Ah, shit, no answer for that one. Stall. Stall!¡±

    ¡°Um, well, the name of your country will be something for its people to decide.¡±

    This didn¡¯t satisfy the question asker. ¡°Well, that¡¯s all well and good for the country, but what¡¯s the name of everything? You know, all countries? That sounds like something the gods would come up with.¡±

    ¡°AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡±

    ¡°Oh, but it is! The planet you live upon is named¡­. Ex¡­celsior. Yes, Excelsior!¡± Aomy had desperately scanned her brain for a fantasy sounding name and that was the best she could think off. She was very certain it was stolen from something. A magic spell? A superhero catchphrase? Whatever, these people wouldn¡¯t know, worst case scenario the other gods would rib her a bit.

    ¡°Are you sure? You don¡¯t sound very certain¡± came the shrill voice before being loudly shushed by the people of her village.

    Relative quiet descended upon the theatre. ¡°Any more questions?¡± Aomy tentatively asked, praying that there were none.

    Her wish was not granted. ¡°Um. You said we should all be equal, right? No one treated differently because of superficial differences and everything?¡± The voice sounded just as anxious as Aomy¡¯s often did, an impressive feat. ¡°Then, um. Why are we called humans?¡±

    The voice switched from anxious query to desperate defence of a point that was perceived as surely being judged and mocked by everyone in the vicinity. ¡°Um, cos like, y¡¯know, there¡¯s man, there¡¯s woman, then there¡¯s human, and like, for some reason, man is tacked onto the end of everything like it¡¯s the default. Um. Not to be rude. But that¡¯s weird right?¡±

    ¡°Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck!¡± cried her thoughts. Of course, if you understood linguistics, its history, like the people of Earth did, then you could infer these words origins, and then you mostly accepted it, because, by god, were there more grievous injustices happening, basically all the time.

    But the people of Excelsior had none of the contexts, and thus, they had free reign to question the weirdness and the weirdness¡¯s very existence seemed to contradict Aomy¡¯s views. And as it would appear to these people that Aomy had created the language they were speaking¡­oh god.

    ¡°Um good point¡± mumbled Aomy. ¡°Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good gooood point. Um. Then from now on, you shall not be humanity¡­ You shall be¡­ the hufolk.¡± When fantasy writers had decided to include mermaids who weren¡¯t, well, maidens, they had generally settled on the name of their race being merfolk.

    Aomy had always liked this name, as well as the suffix ¡°folk¡± in general for fantasy races and decided this fit well enough. Well, if it was pronounced in such a way that didn¡¯t stress the ¡°u¡±, the way you did in the word human, then it kinda sounded like a lost English county, but whatever.

    ¡°I, er, anyway. Um. This is all the time we have for questions, probably, unless you have any urgent ones. You all probably have villages to build! Yeah¡­ Um. Yeah, go, uh, go do that.¡±

    Aomy quickly shut her portals, leaving her theatre blissfully empty. Immediately she curled back up into the foetal position she was in before she¡¯d gone for her walk.

    ¡°Oh gooodddddddd, I¡¯ve really fucked uuuuupppp.¡± She moaned.

    ¡°Yup, you have!¡± her doubts gleefully agreed. ¡°A shitty speech, riddled with barely thought out tacked on thoughts and blasted apart with a general air of uncertainty. And you could see that the mortals didn¡¯t respect you! God, what a fuck up!¡±

    Aomy curled up tighter into her ball. ¡°No, no, no, worst case scenario, I¡¯ve come across as kinda stupid. Or not confident.¡± She tried to reassure herself.

    ¡°If they see you as stupid and not confident why would they listen to you?¡± goaded her doubts. ¡°Hey, guess what? Because of this, they¡¯re all gonna disregard your advice. Then, they¡¯re gonna make all the fuck-ups Earth has. And with all the wars, the discrimination, the violence, you¡¯re going to have the blood of MILLIONS on your hands!¡±

    Her fists clenched against her legs, hard enough to really hurt.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m sure their reactions to me aren¡¯t as bad as I think. I worry too much, all the time. This is like that. Remember the people of that village? They all liked me, despite my awkwardness and I¡¯m sure many more people in this crowd were the same. And even if they do discount my advice, that won¡¯t be the end. There¡¯s more civilisations I¡¯ll make, and they can lead by example.¡±

    She failed to convince herself, and lay on the floor, devoid of energy, almost up to the point that night would swiftly fall upon Excelsior. That was until she suddenly got a burst of reports from the immortals in her villages, desperately requesting aid. She sat bolt upright, her heart beating at an incredibly accelerated rate.

    One word stuck out, consistent amongst all reports. Monster.

 1.9: Clive.

    Naturum sat dejectedly in front of her whiteboard, trying desperately to focus amongst the sounds of her hamster, Your Thanks, having woken up and begun playing on his hamster wheel in Naturum¡¯s bedroom. If he¡¯d woken up, it meant that Excelsior¡¯s sun would soon become Excelsior¡¯s moon and that she should already have stopped working hours ago.

    On one of her breaks, she¡¯d found that Loma and Rizzlerich had already finished their work for the day and were gaming in Loma¡¯s mountain home, and she somewhat longed to join them after she didn¡¯t last night. She sighed and continued staring at her messy food web. She really wanted to add a fantasy creature to her ecosystem first though.

    Well, technically she already had. After giving life to the ecosystem of mostly England native animals in time for Aomy¡¯s hufolk to make use of them, she had come up with the idea of adding wisps. Floating, intangible, little creatures that glowed a soft glow at night in a variety of colours.

    Even these had been somewhat of a bitch to add, given that they had the potential of fucking with some nocturnal creature¡¯s stealth capabilities, so she¡¯d limited the wisps existence to just some of the forests in Excelsior¡¯s first country. And, well, she was sure they would add a nice bit of fantasy ambience, but they weren¡¯t really a proper part of the ecosystem and in fact, were little more than cosmic set dressing.

    And so, Naturum continued staring at her whiteboard, trying fruitlessly to fit some creature into an already complete ecosystem. But it turned out this was unnecessary. For at once, dozens of prayers jolted through her mind, accusing her of making beasts far too viscous and far too destructive. Naturum scrambled to her window and, in fear, stared out across Excelsior. Someone had already created a bunch of fantasy creatures. Someone was making monsters.

    <hr>

    Sinisay trudged through a beautiful forest at night, panting and cursing. His long mane of hair was an unnatural shade of red, his face grim and determined. Sinisay was an immortal. Not any old immortal, however. He had been the immortal first chewed out by Damon during the immortals¡¯ first few hours of existence.

    The image of that painful event was still looping in Sinisay¡¯s mind ¡°You will address the gods with respect!¡± he remembered that loathsome god crying. ¡°All of you! We are, fundamentally, above you and I want all of you to be aware of that. You are our holy servants and I, your holy master.¡±

    He shuddered at the memory. He had only been saved by sucking up to the bastard, and the ibis-headed god answering him and praising him for doing what Damon had so cruelly punished him for. Oh, Scientia. Great and wise Scientia. It was for him that Sinisay still followed the gods, still planned to survey this world and give reports. In Aomy¡¯s gift of information Sinisay had learnt that the god he revered was the god of knowledge, and he had vowed only to gather the most obscure bits of knowledge for his deity.

    This is why he had run to the north, where fewer immortals were. His advanced immortal body was both faster and had more stamina than the body of a hufolk, and so he had made it to where he was now by the time sun turned to moon. The only other immortal crazy enough to run this far was probably that blue haired freak. The moment new land began to be form he had sprinted across it, almost keeping pace with the speed of creation.

    He really didn¡¯t know how that immortal had managed it, Sinisay had been running at a much more sensible pace and was still beyond tuckered out. And so, cursing Zach¡¯s unpunished hubris he stumbled through the forest, ignoring the pretty wisp lights, ignoring the beginnings of mist rolling in, ignoring anything basic that any other immortal could report.

    He wanted to gather some information that other immortals may take eons to find, something that would quickly get him in his saviour¡¯s good graces. He stopped, suddenly. Because he may have just found what he needed.

    Lit by the wisp lights, in shades of faint blue and faint red, was a colossal pile of goo. It was tall, taller than Sinisay by at least a head, and wider at its base than its peak. The immortal thought the thing may be a pale green, but it was hard to tell without the strong light of the sun, and it just sat there. What could this be? It didn¡¯t look like anything Sinisay had seen before, nor anything that Sinisay would have previously imagined could exist.

    He approached it, only somewhat cautiously, confident in his undamageable body and tried to commit to memory its size, its shape, its location, etc. Then, to truly know all that he, with his limited experience, could learn about this mysterious feature of the landscape, Sinisay reached out to touch it.

    It was now that the peak of this thing suddenly snapped to down to stare at him. The immortal¡¯s eyes widened in shock. The pile of goo was alive! But his reflexes weren¡¯t quick enough to jerk his hand back, so it continued into this strange creature¡¯s side. And with horror, Sinisay realised that this thing burnt.

    Desperately, the poor immortal tried to yank his hand back, but try as he might, it was completely stuck. The slime¡¯s body began to contract, and with true terror, Sinisay realised that the creature was pulling him in. He thrashed and cried for help, but he¡¯d ran so far, he was now completely isolated.

    He thought about trying to pray for assistance, but with rage realised that he¡¯d need both hands for that, and one of his hands were stuck. How were the gods so stupid as to create a system with such a glaring problem!? It was mere moments before he was completely engulfed within the burning acid.

    <hr>

    A while later, Clive strolled through the village that Aomy had, mere hours ago, visited, the light of the moon reflected by their shining bald head. They were tall, their face striking, sharp and androgynous, and if their quick pace and grin of anticipation were any indication then they contained a boundless energy, just barely held in check.

    Their destination was the edge of the village, where two, frankly ridiculously buff individuals were waiting for them. The first, a giant of a man, with wild shaggy hair was practising waving a pointy stick. He wanted one day to wield a spear, but in these early days of creation, even though the knowledge of how to create them was commonplace, the means to do so was not.

    This man¡¯s name was Martha. Aomy hadn¡¯t bothered giving her people knowledge of gendered names because she found the concept somewhat weird, and so Martha had been accepted by all in the village as a grand, heroic name. Martha was the name of a warrior.

    The second, a giant of woman, with wild shaggy hair was leaning against a colossal makeshift axe, that was close to the size of her, and thus, a head taller than many other people in the village. She had practically threatened the poor person who had signed up to be the village blacksmith, demanding his first order of business was sharpening a huge chunk of stone so it would be sharp, and sticking it onto an appropriately sized stick.

    This woman¡¯s name was Odysseus. When Aomy had given the hufolk knowledge of names, she had included names common to her homeworld, Earth, but she had also included names from fantasy and mythology. Clive was pretty confident that most people in their profession had chosen names to sound cool and warrior-like. Which made Clive¡¯s name all the more of an oddity.

    But that was Clive in a nutshell really. No one in the village, or probably the world were picking names like Clive? They picked that name. Everyone in the village was using their hair to express themselves? Clive cut theirs off. Most people wanted to stay in the village? Clive wanted to explore.

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    Although, that had little to do with Clive¡¯s contrariness. Looking at the forest behind Martha and Odysseus, mist dramatically billowing out, the lights of the wisps giving the area an eerie, yet enchantingly magical glow, Clive was reminded of that incredible call for adventure. They grinned, their inner energy succeeding in breaking out just a little bit more.

    Clive¡¯s contrariness had begun early in their life, which is somewhat true of all the hufolk¡¯s natures as they were all still in the early stages of their life, but Clive¡¯s nature still had an interesting origin, unique amongst the people of their village.

    While most hufolk around them had been content to live in the gender matching their bodies, Clive had quickly found that both femininity and masculinity were broadly unappealing to them. Initially, this had had them at quite a loss, and they spent a lot of the first day away from the village, scanning Aomy¡¯s imparted knowledge for any clues as to the way they felt. And, after descending down an incredible rabbit hole, Clive found a treasure trove of applicable information.

    There was so much of it, that Clive legitimately thought Aomy may have left the hufolk with more information on gender identity than say farming. Which, even in spite of Clive¡¯s gratefulness, they thought was a little peculiar. And within these great gifts of knowledge, Clive had found it.

    Details of the people like them, who had to fight for their place in a society that broadly refused to acknowledge their existence, their very presence turning many so-called rules of society on their heads. The discovery of their identity was almost overshadowed by the incredible revelation they had accidentally stumbled upon. People, societies, whole worlds that had existed before their own!

    Millions of thoughts and questions had raced through their head. What had happened to these civilisations that predated their own? Did the gods come from these worlds? Did these worlds still exist, were they visitable? Or, and this was Clive¡¯s personal theory. Were the gods the last survivors of a destroyed universe?

    In case this was the truth, Clive felt a duty to preserve the scant few memories of the old world Aomy had gifted, vowed to upturn the rules of society, just as their heroes had in the world before. After all, none of the other fields of information hinted at worlds before theirs, Clive and people like them may be the only ones with this bit of incredible trivia. It had been difficult so far, as with civilisation in its infancy there weren¡¯t a great many rules to upturn, but Clive had done their best, even if they were more a quicky individual than an inspiring rebel. Still, it was a start.

    Seeing Clive approach, Martha cried ¡°Hey boss!¡±

    Odysseus grinned and added ¡°Yeah, hey! ¡®Bout time you showed, I was getting bored. Let¡¯s go fight some stuff already!¡±

    Martha nodded. ¡°Yeah, you did take yer time! Any longer, and I woulda been beatin up Ody, and that wouldn¡¯ta been good for her!¡±

    The jacked woman stopped relaxing on her axe and clumsily aimed it at Martha. ¡°Oh yeah?! My axe is fit for a king, how can your clumsy stick compare? I would destroy you!¡±

    The relaxed atmosphere generated by the pretty lights and the quiet sounds of nocturnal creatures was destroyed almost immediately, as the two warrior aspirants tensed and awkwardly aimed their weapons at each other.

    Clive sighed, although their grin did not leave their face. ¡°You two realise we¡¯ll be lucky if we even encounter a badger, right? There is no need to get quite so worked up.¡±

    Their group had been formed out of those with no clear place in the village. Martha and Odysseus strived to be fighters, which was viewed as more of a hobby than a true profession by the people of the still mostly peaceful Excelsior. Clive wanted to be an explorer, and then later, a paladin of Aomy¡¯s will. The closest fit they could find that still gave them a use within the village was hunter, and so they planned to set out at night to supplement the meat that the hunting parties which had left during the day had provided.

    Martha shrugged, relaxing again. ¡°Whatever boss. So long as we can do somethin¡¯.¡±

    Clive¡¯s grin widened. ¡°To tell the truth, I¡¯ve been itching to explore all day. Shall we set off with haste?¡±

    The two warriors cheered, and the odd group marched eagerly into the mist, the stomping sound they made more than enough to scare off any animal that the group would be able to hunt.

    Because of this, it took a long, yet enjoyable, amount of time for the party to encounter anything of note. After perhaps a few hours, Clive held up their hands to stop their allies in their tracks.

    ¡°What is it boss?¡± quired Martha.

    ¡°Look up ahead, it looks like there¡¯s something between those trees.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I see it!¡± cried Odysseus, pawing the ground, like a bull about to charge.

    ¡°No!¡± hissed Clive under their breath. ¡°And also, shh. Stay put, we approach it slowly, or else whatever it is will run.¡±

    ¡°Whatever you say, I think I could catch up to anything that runs¡± she grumbled, but she acquiesced, and the three of them slowly crept up to the shape amongst the trees.

    It was tall, green, goopy looking, and trapped within it was a furious looking red-haired man, who was writhing and struggling constantly.

    Bursting out of cover, Martha yelled ¡°Don¡¯t worry boss! I¡¯ll save ¡®im!¡± much to his boss¡¯s despair. He thrust the makeshift spear into the slimes side and predictably it was immediately stuck, and, despite Martha¡¯s considerable strength, the spear was immobile.

    ¡°Martha, get back, we need to properly assess the situation!¡± cried Clive to little avail. Scanning the trace amounts of brain Martha had been given for ways to damage the creature with his weapon stuck, Martha arrived at the brilliant conclusion to try and just punch the thing. With a mighty strike his fist smashed through the slime¡¯s goop and to the surprise of nobody, except perhaps Martha, that too was stuck.

    He let out a wail of pain as unlike Sinisay, with his immortal body, Martha¡¯s hand began to slowly melt in the slime¡¯s acid.

    Bursting out of cover like Marta had done, Odysseus raced towards her friend with a shockingly familiar cry of ¡°Don¡¯t worry Clive, I¡¯ve got this!¡±

    She raised her axe up, before swinging it down onto Martha¡¯s not slimed bit of arm causing a sickening spray of blood to spurt from his new wound. He screamed and fell back, his arm at least free now from the slime, although he wasn¡¯t immediately grateful for this, occupied completely with rolling around on the ground in pain.

    Menacingly, the ooze began to slowly slide towards the pair, building up speed as it seemed to wake from its comparatively peaceful state.

    ¡°Shit. Get back to the village both of you, Martha needs immediate medical attention!¡± shouted Clive, now breaking cover themselves. ¡°I¡¯ll kite this thing so you can escape!¡±

    The others nodded as Odysseus supported Martha and they hobbled away. Clive wrenched a slapdash bow from their back and began desperately firing arrows into the beast to get its attention, before dashing away in the opposite direction to the village.

    The slime took the bait, despite most of Clive¡¯s arrows missing, and quickly began to catch up with Clive as it accelerated. In response, the hufolk kept firing arrows into it, before breaking out into a full-on sprint as the slime began to reach ungodly speeds.

    Realising that they couldn¡¯t escape, Clive skidded to a halt, turned round and, in what they expected would be a futile last stand, unloaded a volley of arrows into the creature¡¯s still undamaged body. To Clive¡¯s great surprise, the beast exploded, spreading its acidic projectiles across the forest. Clive leapt from their position and dived behind a tree, avoiding the brunt of the damage. And then a golden light filled the forest.

    Stepping out of the shadows and into existence came Clive¡¯s hero, the goddess of civilisations herself, Aomy. Her body was tense, not in her usual unsure way, but instead in the way that someone who anticipates danger might stand.

    ¡°My goddess Aomy, if you are looking for the monster here, it has just exploded¡± announced Clive from the floor behind the tree.

    Their goddess nodded, cried ¡°Thank you!¡± before winking back out of existence.

    <hr>

    She¡¯d been doing this for hours. Aomy teleported to wherever her powers told her people were close to monsters, in order of amount of people affected, and bestowed their warriors with enough temporary power to repel the new menace while not violating her contract to not interfere. This seemed to be going mostly well, even if the work was frantic and desperate.

    While she worked, she downloaded whatever information her omniscience provided her about this threat into her brain and found that they had just suddenly popped into existence, and had begun seeking out and attacking all animals, prioritising those which were sapient.

    They were unnatural and strange, a fact clearly emphasised by the fact they seemed to have hit points, like monsters in videogames, dying at an arbitrary point after sustaining enough damage, regardless of how pristine and unblemished their bodies seemed before.

    There were many types. Aomy had seen the slimes, as well as strange lizard creatures with teeth as large as their necks, their head bulging with their oversized mouths, and what appeared to be a cute mix of puppy and kitten, which Aomy found adorable and harmless but the hufolk seemed absolutely terrified of. She had no doubt there were many more out there, so the stressed god continued working deep into the night.

 1.10: Performance Review Meeting of the Gods

    It was late into Excelsior¡¯s second night when the group of gods who would come to be known as The Seven heard a message in their heads.

    ¡°Now you all have finished your respective tasks for the day, I summon you back to the meeting room for a performance review.¡± It was Damon¡¯s voice, the self-appointed leader of the gods and so, one by one, the gods all teleported themselves back to the Damon¡¯s throne room.

    It was lit just as depressingly clinically as before, and like before, Damon sat on his golden throne, looking down at the rows of tables before him. Unlike before, the gods took mere moments to arrive and immediately, ignoring Damon who had opened his mouth as if to start addressing The Seven, the gods began to chat amongst themselves.

    ¡°My god, which of you guys has stayed up working this late?¡± asked Loma. ¡°I mean, I know we don¡¯t need to sleep, but its still good to get some rest you know.¡±

    ¡°I, um, that would be me¡± Aomy mumbled in response. ¡°There was kinda, this emergency-¡°

    ¡°I¡¯ll say there was¡± interjected Damon. ¡°But we¡¯ll get to that. I have brought you here to review your performances this past day, especially if they have been lacking, as most of you were.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and what were you doing that was so exemplary Damon¡± Naturum blearily replied, not able to even fake her usual sunny countenance and cheerful disposition. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you all day, and for someone meant to monitor us you were noticeably absent during that monster crisis just now.¡±

    ¡°I was planning for the future¡± responded the evil god. ¡°And, although this may not reveal itself to you all yet, my performance was beyond exemplary. Now, as you¡¯re so eager, do you care to discuss your actions today?¡±

    Naturum glared at Damon, but did respond. ¡°Fine. I made a beautiful ecosystem using England¡¯s ecosystem as a basis, even added some wisps as a fantasy addition. Then, a bunch of monsters showed up and started eating all my hard work. Then, if all the damage control wasn¡¯t enough to take it out of me, all the immortals have been praying at me non-stop, blaming me for the monsters! Like I made them!¡±

    What Damon would consider a subtly cruel grin, but most would consider an obviously cruel grin spread across the silver gods face. ¡°I believe you can just turn those off if they bother you.¡±

    Naturum¡¯s eyes flashed with anger, before a sly grin started to spread across her face and just a bit of her brightness returned to her. It was hard to keep Naturum down for long, or at least, hard to keep her so down that she couldn¡¯t act like she was up.

    ¡°Fortunately, I believe I have a way of finding out who did make the monsters¡± she mused.

    ¡°Impossible¡± declared Damon at roughly the same time as Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, who hadn¡¯t been paying attention blurted out ¡°Wait, someone made monsters?!¡± Unsurprisingly, the god of magics face was full of unbridled excitement.

    Aomy began to explain the situation to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism and Loma, who were both somewhat out the loop, while Scientia added the occasional obscure insight befitting of a god of knowledge. This allowed Naturum and Damon to continue their confrontation.

    ¡°Objection.¡± Naturum announced, her pronunciation clear and deliberate, but not as exclamatorily as she had shouted the word earlier today. Although the reference was less clear, alluding to the meme from Legend Lawyers in any way made Naturum¡¯s smile glow brighter, and she quickly found she was getting her groove back.

    ¡°I believe I have the perfect way of getting you to admit you made those monsters, Damon¡± She stressed his name, emphasising just how brazenly evil a chosen name it was. She clapped her hands and a fresh bit of paper appeared on the table.

    Damon glanced over at it, sceptically. ¡°I presume you want me to sign another contract¡± he sneered.

    ¡°Yup. This one means that if you made those monsters you have to immediately admit it.¡± Naturum¡¯s voice usually suggested nothing but friendliness but now there was a hint of malice behind her words. However, it was nothing compared to the malice Damon¡¯s grin conveyed.

    Staring the nature goddess straight in the eye, he signed the paper, and remained deafeningly silent. Naturum stared back at him in shock before deflating.

    ¡°Oh¡± was all she could manage to say, as she tried to process what this meant.

    Not that Damon was willing to give her a chance to think. ¡°So, to summarise your work today. You made a basic ecosystem that barely qualifies for belonging in a fantasy world, one that was quite easily disrupted, and you still don¡¯t know who disrupted it. I expect much better tomorrow.¡±

    But, now Naturum had a spark of her energy returned, it was much harder to return her to despair. ¡°Not being the one who made the monsters hasn¡¯t given you the right to be an ass Damon¡± she retorted.

    Ignoring her, Damon swept his attention onto another of the gods. ¡°Rich. Please tell me of what you have accomplished today.¡±

    Rich grinned back at him. ¡°Oh, nothing much, nothing much. Just made the coolest weather system ever!¡± he yelled.

    Damon frowned. ¡°Your job was creating magic was it not?¡±

    Rich¡¯s grin faded. ¡°Yeah, but Loma asked me to make the weather. I didn¡¯t have time to make magic.¡±

    ¡°Making up for another¡¯s failure does not excuse your own. Magic is an integral part of a fantasy world, which many of you seem to have forgotten we¡¯re making. I expect better tomorrow.¡± Damon was well aware he wasn¡¯t making any friends among the gods, judging from the stink eyes from Naturum, Aomy and Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, but he was far too drunk on power to care.

    ¡°Now, Loma. What have you achieved?¡± Damon asked.

    ¡°Well, I made a country, which was a lot of work. Sorry about the weather though.¡±

    Damon thought for a moment. Loma didn¡¯t seem to dislike him as the others did, so he decided to let him off the hook. ¡°Well, the weather won¡¯t need to be made twice, so I presume everything will run smoothly tomorrow. Keep doing what you¡¯re doing.¡± He turned to the next god. ¡°Scientia. What have you done?¡±

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    ¡°My library already has been filled with the secrets of this world. I encourage you all to delve it, be it for curiosity or for specialised purpose, or contact me if you need to know something not yet contained within my homes halls.¡±

    Damon really wanted to needle the Thoth impersonator, but he hadn¡¯t actually seen much of Scientia as he seemed to keep to himself, so Damon had no choice but to assume he¡¯d done an acceptable job. ¡°Well, good job then. Keep it up¡± he forced himself to say.

    Scientia nodded, grandly. ¡°As it appears pertinent to this meeting, I have information regarding monsters I wish to share. Like Aomy has already discovered they do not die in any conventional way, instead operating similar to videogame enemies, dying once their hit points are depleted. Additionally, they are not born as natural creatures are, instead just spawning in certain levels of darkness when no sapient life would behold their apparition. They also do not need to eat as humans do, and yet they hunt down and kill animals, both sapient and otherwise.¡±

    Naturum wrinkled her nose. ¡°All this clearly not natural stuff and people are still blaming me for making them! Its ridiculous!¡±

    Scientia could have provided countless explanations for how the immortals had arrived at that conclusion but sharing them would be rude, so instead he simply said ¡°Quite.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Scientia¡± announced Damon turning to the final god. ¡°Lastly, Aomy. What have you done.¡±

    ¡°Um. I made people, I gave them a load of knowledge, I gave them enough strength to repel the monsters until they could make proper defences, and I tried to teach them how to build a good civilisation, probably failed horrendously, and now have the deaths of hundreds on my hands.¡± Even without a face, the goddess of civilisations clearly looked glum.

    ¡°Heyyyy, don¡¯t say that!¡± cried Naturum. ¡°You¡¯re probably being too negative. Besides, we¡¯re all new at this, no can expect perfection out the gate. After all.¡± She switched to a more sing song voice. ¡°It¡¯s tough to be a god.¡±

    In a much less enthused version of the same voice Aomy replied ¡°Be deified when really you¡¯re a sham.¡±

    Scientia blinked and looked between the two goddesses. ¡°I believe you got the words wrong¡± he announced.

    Jovially, Naturum replied ¡°Me, we can¡¯t all have a perfect memory like you, show-off.¡±

    Scientia blinked again. ¡°I have never heard this song before in my life, I believe I am too old to have heard it. However, based on word choice, melody and chord progression, I believe there is a portion of this song you missed.¡±

    Naturum laughed. ¡°You¡¯re such a nerd.¡± She paused and thought a moment. ¡°Wait, how old are you?¡±

    He blinked again and turned quickly to Aomy. ¡°I believe there was something else you did today.¡±

    Aomy, who had looked quite happy to not be in the spotlight for a moment, snapped back into reality and startled, looked around. ¡°I, er. Um. Oh! I accidentally named the world as well. It¡¯s called Excelsior.¡±

    Scientia nodded. ¡°And may I ask what its higher than?¡±

    Aomy stared uncomprehending back as him. ¡°What?¡±

    Unaffected, he replied ¡°The chair?¡±

    Still just as uncomprehending she said, ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°Excelsior. Latin for higher than. Is this because the world is higher than the chair?¡± he explained.

    Aomy smiled a little. ¡°Sure. Why not.¡±

    Fed up with the idle chatter of his fellow gods, Damon interrupted them. ¡°I believe there is one more thing you have neglected to mention Aomy. You gave a very poor speech to humanity did you not? Is it safe to assume that we, the gods, are not respected as we should be?¡±

    Aomy hung her head. ¡°Yeah, probably.¡±

    Noticing her friend¡¯s distress, Naturum quickly shouted ¡°Oh well, that¡¯s not too much of a problem considering Damon¡¯s the only one insecure enough to care about the mortals respect.¡±

    Damon bristled but tried to ignore her. ¡°So, to summarise. We have no magic. The people dislike us and may go round warring at any moment. Natures being eaten and we have a bunch of monsters terrorising our lands. Are there any more fuck ups I¡¯ve missed?¡±

    A wet slap could be heard against the window. By the time the gods turned to it, all that could be seen was the slight hint of a slimy dribble. Damon held out his hand and light extended out, lighting the area around his castle in a light comparable to how the world would look in daytime revealing dark storm clouds gathering in the sky above. There was a rumble, and rain began to pour forth, slapping against Damon¡¯s large windows with the same squishy sound.

    Slowly the gods moved closer to the windows to get a closer look, before stepping back in shock. The rain hitting the window was no mere ordinary water. It was raining snails. Each of the gods turned to stare at Rizzlerich.

    He waved his hands defensively. ¡°You said I could make the weather as interesting as I want!¡±

    Brows furrowed, Damon sneered. ¡°Right, I¡¯ve had enough of this ridiculousness, and so I believe this meeting should be adjourned. Most of you have failed in some capacity today, notably not excluding you Naturum. Tomorrow, do better.¡± Before any retort could be made, he winked out of sight.

    Naturum grinned. ¡°I think we may have rustled a couple feathers today. Good job Rizzlerich, love the snails. Anyway, now what?¡±

    Loma sighed and looked around. ¡°As much as I want to keep destroying Rich in Nimbus, I feel we should sleep, even if we don¡¯t technically have to. The process of resting while doing nothing and then waking up fresh is good for us mentally, I think.¡±

    Naturum nodded. ¡°Fair enough. I¡¯ll probably join you all tomorrow!¡±

    ¡°I think I might too¡± added Aomy

    Loma smiled. ¡°So long as we don¡¯t play Antonio Car again. You¡¯re too good at that.¡±

    Surprisingly, Scientia now spoke up. ¡°I may join you all too. Although I fear I won¡¯t be too good at your reflex games. Perhaps we could find a videogame version of Do You Want to Be a Billionaire?¡±

    Naturum laughed. ¡°I¡¯ll be glad to have you around bird man. Although, playing trivia games against the literal god of knowledge? No thanks.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we can do a couple rounds. Give him an opportunity to show off¡± replied Aomy.

    ¡°But trivia games are boring!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°Where¡¯s the action?! The explosions?! The Excitement?!¡±

    Scientia looked offended. ¡°Trivia games can be exciting.¡±

    Loma laughed a deep rumbling laugh. ¡°Well, we are omnipotent. We can always add some explosions into the background of any game we play.¡±

    The gods continued their chatting deep into the night as they slowly disappeared to get some private rest. All except Damon, who was of course already home. He had teleported to the roof of his castle, ignored the snails pelting him, brazenly transformed back into his more evil appearance and had begun to reflect on the meeting that had transpired. The more he thought about it, the happier he was. The sense of power! The look on Naturum¡¯s face when the contract had proven he hadn¡¯t made monsters! How smoothly his plan was progressing!

    ¡°Mwahaha. Mwahahahahaa¡± He knew it was cheesy and made him sound like a cartoon villain, but he was far too up his own arse to care. ¡°MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA¡±

    And thus, with the sound of his laughter echoing into the night, the second day of Excelsior drew to a close.

 1.11: Natures Magic

    Loma floated in the void next to the country he had a mere day ago created. He smiled at those rolling hills, the beautiful grassy plains, the faint specks of wood symbolising the start of civilised life. His sense of pride grew, but with great effort he turned away from his idyllic England copy. A new day had dawned on Excelsior. It was time to make his second country.

    One that would overshadow Loma¡¯s first landmass, both in his own mind and somewhat literally. Reaching out with a colossal earthen hand, Loma shaped an intermediedary area between the two new countrys, a strip of land that got hillier and then mountenous, until at last it was time to begin the country proper.

    Loma reached out again, now with considerably more force, and a mountain sprung up where his hand aimed. It wasn¡¯t the stuff of legend, not overly tall nor overly spiky or imposing , but oh, the sense of power Loma felt when he conjured this mountain into existence!

    He waved his hand again and again and mightier and mightier mountains sprung into existence, each taller, each sharper, each much less tolerant of mortal survival. He reached the centre of this new country and sprung a terrifying beast of a mountain the size of Everest out of the nothingness. And just because he could, he sprung an even more ridiculously huge mountain into existence next to it.

    If shaping a country was enough to really drive home to Loma that he was now a god, enough to make him incredible, then the sheer exhiliration and the fufillment of the wildest power fantasys that shaping a country of awe-inspiring mountains entailled was enough to make Loma feel like God.

    As the god of geography made his 3<sup>rd</sup> Everest sized mountain, he realised that he may be reaching impulsivity levels far beyond what was considered healthy for a human, or, alternatively, reaching impulsivity levels close to what Rizzleritchensteineonizziism existed at constantly. But why not? No one would live on the surface of this landmass, they would all live under ground. Excelsior¡¯s second landmass would be the home of the dwarves, meaning this was Loma¡¯s chance to just go wild.

    <hr>

    Across the world (a comparatively impressive feat when compared to a few days ago), in the wooden halls of Naturum¡¯s home, the god of magic himself, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, stared in abject boredom at a whiteboard.

    He had been invitited here by Naturum, as she apparantly needed him for something, but he¡¯d evidently arrived too soon as the goddess of nature was too busy pacing up and down her living room, staring at a blank whiteboard and muttering to herself.

    He vaguely remembered the message that had appeared in his head being something to do with magic animals, which had sounded exciting, so he had immedietly teleported into the nature goddesses house. As surprised as she was, she had been courteous, offering him a seat on her sofa and telling him she was only expecting a mental reply and that he wouldn¡¯t be needed for a while yet.

    Rizzlerich had declined the sofa, deciding instead to conjure a bean bag and sit upon that, which he did for all of five seconds, before immedietly getting bored and heading upstairs to grab Your Thanks. He then sat back down, imbueing random bits of purple energy into the creature, mostly as an attempt to get Naturum¡¯s attention.

    Unfortunatly for Rizzlerich, Naturum could get ridiculously into her own head when working, so it was still a little while until she spun around to face the magic god and cried ¡°Okay! Sorry, had to do some research. How does magic work?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism shrugged. ¡°Surprise. I¡¯ll reveal its secrets next meeting Damon does.¡±

    ¡°Okay, but troglobites- that is, animals which live exclusively in caves are pretty rare on Earth¡± explained the nature goddess. ¡°You¡¯ve got like, spiders and other creepy crawlies, salamanders and fish and that¡¯s it. Cave exclusive plants are even worse. Basically, to make this a fully fleshed out ecosystem I¡¯m gonna be making everything more or less from scratch¡± Her eyes flashed with excitement. ¡°I¡¯m being thrown in the deep end with basically no experience. An ecosystem unlike any on Earth. And for that, I¡¯m going to need magic!¡±

    He shrugged again. ¡°Give your animals whatever powers you want. I¡¯m just gonna make it so any creatures not inherently magical have to use my beautiful system.¡± A grin started to widen on his face. ¡°Speaking of, can I go now?¡±

    But Naturum was too immediately distracted by her work to respond. ¡°Stage one¡± she muttered to herself. ¡°Plants. I¡¯m thinking at least a little scarce so most of the country has the iconic cave aesthetic from our world. Put them in pockets of dense plant life, like a desert oasis. Maybe even have some create water magically to create little oasis pools. Would it be too much to add coral to these pools?¡±

    Rich¡¯s grin started to fade. ¡°Naturum?¡±

    But Naturum kept talking. ¡°No, no, it won¡¯t harm an ecosystem essentially being propped up by magic, so why not, there¡¯s no harm in having them. Now, I don¡¯t know if Loma¡¯s going to create glowstone or anything like that, so best I make at least some plants magically produce light, probably most oases should have them. But some definitely should not. Hey, with light and water most plants can survive non-magically! The magic plants can just feed themselves because I say so and magic and all that but have an inbuilt inability to grow beyond a certain point to prevent them overrunning all Excelsior. Yes, yes, that¡¯s good, that¡¯s good. Now, most plants grow towards light, but the light producing plants will just be smothered if I let that happen. Hmm. I could make most plants kinda vine-y and just have them grow alongside the walls, rooves and floor, that¡¯s a nice aesthetic. Maybe in the large caverns I could have the occasional sparse tree, but like, with the auxin modified so it¡¯s only gravitropic, not phototropic, I think I could do that. Ooh, and the light and water plants can be big fantasy flowers, that would look brilliant!¡±

    It was at this point that what little patience Rizzleritchensteineonizziism had vanished. ¡°My name is Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, the first ever, and I demand your attention! Stop ignoring me!¡±

    Naturum looked up, blinked and stared at the magic god. ¡°What? Sorry, got a bit absorbed in ecosystem crafting there. In my defence, it is a lot of fun. Especially cos we¡¯re moving from flora to fauna now!¡±

    Rich paused. ¡°We¡¯re?¡± he thought to himself. But he supposed it made sense, they are magic creatures after all. Why wouldn¡¯t he get a say? Deciding that was entertaining enough, he responded ¡°Nothing. Carry on.¡±

    Naturum happily nodded to herself. ¡°Okay, animal one! Now, many Earth troglobites are blind and have that weird pale skin, and I say we do something like that for a creature that relies on the sections of this country which are lightless. How about we take a bat¡± and so saying she conjured a bat model into the air in front of her. ¡°Remove its hair and change its skin.¡± As she spoke the hair peeled off the bat revealing a somewhat gross fleshy layer of pallid white skin. ¡°Remove its eyes because bats aren¡¯t blind.¡± The models eyes vanished leaving more of that skin in its place.

    ¡°Then fiddle with its ears to get maximum echolocation, maybe improve its senses beyond what¡¯s usually possible without magic aaaaand¡­Tada! Behold the Excelsian cave bat! One creature beautifully designed to flit about Excelsiors caverns. I¡¯m thinking I¡¯ll have it make the use of the areas oases that stay in complete darkness, which, thinking about it, I¡¯ll need to make all the vine and water producing plants there sustain themselves magically without light too. Anyway, I¡¯ll have it make its nests in the plantless caverns and have it speed in and out of areas where it can feed on the insects and shit. Might even make its skin sensitive to light so it naturally avoids those areas. That way it¡¯s out of the way of most predators, a major evolutionary advantage!¡± Her voice was swiftly ramping up in enthusiasm and a huge smile plastered her face. ¡°Speaking off, let¡¯s make a predator next!¡±

    Which made her a stark contrast to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, whose face was devoid of a smile, and you¡¯d be really taking the piss if you called his voice enthusiastic. After watching the bats creation dejectedly, he was hastily reassessing his decision to stay.

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    ¡°This is boorrrinngg¡± he moaned. ¡°Where¡¯s the excitement in practically magic-less creatures?! I could see stuff like this on Earth! Give them, I don¡¯t know, explosion magic! Make them make things go boom!¡±

    ¡°Hmmmm. This thing has light sensitivity so the explosions may hurt it more than necessary. Plus, its already pretty well adapted to its environment¡­¡±

    Naturum looked up and finally took note of Rizzlerich¡¯s face, and his strangely adorable look of disappointment. Hastily, she added ¡°¡­but I can make the apex predator here use explosions!¡±

    Predictably, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s face lit up and he leaned forward out the bean bag to hear what the nature goddess had to say. ¡°Go on!¡± he burbled happily.

    ¡°Okay, so, I¡¯m thinking some kind of ambush predator. Something which uses explosions to propel itself quickly onto its prey.¡± She glanced at Rizzlerich to check to make sure he was still on board, but the magic god was enraptured. ¡°So, we give it the tools needed to burrow into the softer rock and soil in these caverns walls. Something like this¡­¡± She erased the model of the bat and made a pair of large, mole-like feet. She hesitated for a moment before adding a set of nasty looking claws to the creature to give it an extra advantage when it came to digging. ¡°Yeah. Yeah, this is good¡± she mused before continuing.

    ¡°Then a thin body so as to best fit into the holes it makes, and more importantly, shoot out of them with little resistance! So, probably best to give it as few appendages as possible considering it should hopefully have caught its prey in one fell swoop.¡± The model now looked somewhat like a grey snake with big mole claws near its as of yet non-existent head. Noticing this, Naturum made her finishing touches. ¡°And, finally, we give it a snake-like jaw and venomous teeth, ensuring a one hit kill!¡± She stared at her model in pride. ¡°Rizzlerich, we¡¯re geniuses¡± she murmured.

    ¡°I guess I¡¯ll call it the Excelsian-¡°

    ¡°WRONG!¡± yelled Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, interrupting her. ¡°We¡¯re calling it the BULLET SNAKE!¡±

    Naturum took a step back due to the shock. Regaining her composure, she replied ¡°Okay, I¡¯m fine calling it that. But you do realise that the people of Excelsior will probably come up with their own name for it, right? Our names are just placeholders.¡±

    ¡°The names for our creatures are decreed by the divine will of the gods!¡± cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°They are absolute! If a creature has a name, any mortal which beholds them will instantly know it! I have willed it, so it is so!!!¡±

    Naturum briefly wondered how weird it would be to live on Excelsior with rules like this in place. Certainly, there would be a lot less room for atheism when every time you looked out your window you spontaneously recalled the names of every bird in the trees. Still, this was harmless, and being a good member of a group project meant allowing others to implement their own ideas, so she let Rizzlerich do this.

    While Naturum was lost in thought, Rizzle had wandered up off his bean bag and floated over on his cyclone lower half to inspect the model bullet snake. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a bit small for an apex predator?¡± he asked.

    There was a degree of truth to that statement. It wasn¡¯t a large creature, or even particularly large for an Earth snake, even if it certainly wasn¡¯t small.

    However, as Naturum explained ¡°Resources are scarce in this ecosystem, existing primarily in a few oases. So, animals should conserve energy by not wasting it maintaining a large size. Also, big animals wouldn¡¯t be able to fit into small tunnels and really big animals might bring the roof down with their stomping.¡± She stopped once she saw Rich¡¯s eyes beginning to glaze over.

    ¡°Right. Um. Well, we need a good source of prey for our bullet snake. I¡¯m thinking, given how we need our bullet snake to eat, we make something less defensive, so the bullet snake will most likely get a guaranteed catch. Then, to keep our new creatures¡¯ numbers up, we make them fast breeders and perhaps give them a herding instinct where they protect young in the centre of the herd. Yes, yes. Snakes eat mammals, so this could be a mammal. Maybe we make it¡­¡±

    She glanced over at Your Thanks idly curled up on Rizzlerich¡¯s bean bag where he left him. ¡°A hamster! Yes, a herd of fluffy little hamsters. That sounds adorable.¡± She paused for a moment. ¡°I should probably give them a chance against the snake. What if I make them have camouflage? Given the walls are covered in green vines they should be green! Green hamsters! Perfect!¡± She erased the bullet snake and conjured the hamster model. It looked like someone had taken some bizarrely fluffy grass, clumped it all together into a fat lump and then stuck some huge round eyes onto it. ¡°Behold!¡± cried Naturum. ¡°The Excelsian green hamster!¡±

    It was actually quite cute, but Rizzleritchensteineonizziism barely registered that as his eyes finally unglazed. He poked the strange animal in its squishy tummy, then turned despairingly to Naturum.

    ¡°Its boring again! I could see stuff like this on Earth¡± he complained, despite how brazenly false that statement was. A green hamster to most would be quite exciting, but Rich has high standards. ¡°Why can¡¯t this explode.¡±

    Naturum looked concerned. ¡°You mean, why doesn¡¯t the whole animal go up in smoke? How would that benefit the species?¡±

    ¡°When a poisonous frog gets eaten the animal may as well of exploded¡± explained Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. ¡°Why not make the whole thing go up in smoke?¡±

    Naturum thought that was a weirdly good point, so she waved away the green hamster and set to work creating her second new hamster species. It was much larger than the Excelsian green hamster, although far from huge, and it looked somewhat balloon like. Additionally, it was coloured a bright red, with black spots, a detail Naturum was keen to explain.

    ¡°Like you see in poisonous frogs, red is one of the colours in nature which commonly connotes danger. This, alongside the apprehension around these creatures I¡¯ll give predators, as if they¡¯d lived alongside these hamsters long enough to evolve a healthy fear of eating them, should keep these cuties safe.¡±

    Rizzlerich nodded excitedly. ¡°And how do they explode?!¡± he asked.

    ¡°When the skin is severely punctured, these hamsters pop, releasing poisonous gasses from within the hamster, into the mouths of an unsuspecting would-be predator. Even if it survives the poison, the poor thing won¡¯t have had a meal and will pretty quickly learn not to fuck with these bad boys.¡±

    Rich shook his head up and down approvingly. ¡°Rizzelian snikpopkaputiorthanks!¡± he yelled.

    Naturum stared at him. ¡°Bless you?¡±

    The magic god shook his head. ¡°I have named this fine beast before you could ruin it!¡±

    Naturum nodded hesitantly. ¡°Or the snikpop for short?¡± she pleaded.

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s up to the mortals. Anyway, what you got next?!¡±

    ¡°Well, I was thinking something defensive¡± pondered Naturum. ¡°A tortoise! Give it some grey camouflage, make it stick to the edges of oases so it can disguise itself as a rock, give it an impenetrable shell, perhaps blindness and echolocation but not skin sensitivity so it can wander both the tunnels and the light filled oases and bam! Already got a cool new creature!¡±

    She looked to the god of magic whose eyes had glazed over again and decided the new species needed something extra.

    ¡°Ooh, but all the other creatures have the ability to scamper out the way and try and find a new oasis in the case of rockfalls. Oh, I should make new oases spring up when one dies. Wait, getting distracted. Right, these things can¡¯t move quick so I should give them minor foresight, so they¡¯re already long out the way when disaster strikes.¡± She looked curiously to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism who was practically shaking with energy.

    ¡°Yes! Cool! Love it!¡± he shouted.

    Naturum breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°Thank me. Was worried because it wasn¡¯t explosive.¡±

    Rich looked back at her, evidently genuinely offended. ¡°I¡¯m more than just explosions you know! I like exciting things. Explosions just happen to be one of those things! I also like cool uses of magic!¡±

    ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m going to name these things Foresight tortoises, unless you have any objections?¡± said Naturum.

    Rizzlerich shook his head. ¡°Sounds alright. Not what I¡¯d go with, but it doesn¡¯t sound like boring mumbo jumbo a scientist would come up with. Sounds like a proper RPG monster!¡±

    Naturum¡¯s face darkened at the mention of monsters, but Rizzlerich carried on. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ve remembered I still gotta finish up magic and I wanna do that now! Goodbye!¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± cried Naturum, whose face was brightening as she remembered the surprise she¡¯d been planning for Rich. ¡°Talking of monsters, I want to show you something. I think you¡¯ll like it.¡±

    She led the eager magic god outside her house, to the very edge of her island, where she turned to face him and cried ¡°Watch this!¡±

    She began to wave her arms about and a huge shape began to form in the air in front of her. It was long and proportionally thin like a worm, but unlike a worm it was at least 100 feet long and around 20 feet wide and tall. It was segmented, each segment equipped with a ring of tooth-like spikes and its actual teeth were huge and placed all around the hole on the front.

    Rizzlerich stared at the great grey beast, for the first time in his life completely lost for words, so Naturum took over for him. ¡°Congratulations. You are first to witness Naturum¡¯s hunter wurm. A freaking huge mass of claws, teeth and murder, that¡¯ll seek out and destroy all monsters while not targeting other natural life. Behold, the first of its kind, the saviour of the caves.¡±

    The magic god nodded weakly, thumbs upped Naturum, before waving and vanishing, all without a word.

    The nature goddess smiled to herself, beyond pleased with his reaction. Now, no one would send those horrible prayers to her, and no one would think that she was the monster spawner. It was time for her war against monsters to begin.

 1.12: The Great Dwarven Disaster

    Dwarves. Agreed by almost everyone to be a staple of the fantasy genre. Their concept is simple. You take humans, you make them smaller and stouter, and maybe give them a higher chance of growing a beard. Culturally, they are typically adept at mining, or crafting, possibly greedy, possibly drunkards.

    Since their mythological inception, humans have written hundreds of variations of these small people, across thousands of fictional worlds. To one immersed in high fantasy, they are likely as familiar as your home, your friends, humanity itself. If you were, say, making a fantasy world, creating dwarves would be the next, simple step up from making humanity. Or at least, Aomy had thought so. Which made the current crisis all the more shocking to her.

    She hadn¡¯t even taken any huge risks when making them. As tempted as she¡¯d been to go wild on the dwarves design, giving them prehensile beards or alcoholic blood, she had refrained, making the dwarves essentially half-sized humans with a unisex ability to grow beards much faster than a human would.

    She hadn¡¯t even given them a biological advantage when it came to mining or crafting, as that would be unfair on the other races who wanted to fulfil those roles. Although she was pretty sure that Excelsian dwarves would most likely still develop a cultural affinity for mining given they lived in mountains. And she did ensure dwarven bodies magically produced vitamin D. She didn¡¯t want her people being forced through the health problems being kept from sunlight would cause.

    Blearily, Aomy registered a hellish blaring alarm in her head, and her heart began to increase in speed once more, her throat began to constrict, and she hastily teleported to the scene of the emergency. Moments prior she has been waiting, tired and anxious in one of the many tunnels beneath the mountain country of Excelsior but she still felt caught off guard, still let the terror completely take hold.

    It had been non-stop stress and fear since the dwarves had been made. Aomy had installed an alarm in her mind, similar to the one she had made when the humans had been attacked by monsters, just in case the same happened again, although this alarm reacted to all danger not just monster proximity.

    To her shock, the volume of distress calls exceeded even then. Some dwarves had even died, she knew. She hadn¡¯t watched it happen, thank god, that might have broken her, but some alarms in her mind had quietened without her intervention, and while that may just mean some dwarves had simply escaped danger, she felt certain that some had died under her watch.

    She arrived at the scene of the disaster and scanned her surroundings. Everything seemed peaceful. A circle of giant blue petaled flowers ran around a tranquil pool, water gently trickling out of the flowers centre. The floor to ceiling was covered in thick, pleasant, light green vines that even stretched into the lake and settled next to some vibrant, brightly coloured coral.

    Scattered throughout the room were various flowers with golden petals, each emitting an ethereal white light out their centre. A group of dwarves had paused mid hunt to stare at her, makeshift spears pointed at an adorably rotund spotted red hamster. The view was beautiful. A scene that if painted, wouldn¡¯t look amiss in a fantasy art gallery.

    Unfortunately, Aomy wasn¡¯t in the position to admire it right now. ¡°Where¡¯s the danger?¡± she cried out.

    The dwarves looked between each other confused. ¡°Danger? I think yer in the wrong place, goddess¡± called back one of them.

    He did indeed have the thick, probably somewhat exaggerated Scottish accent that fantasy dwarves were associated with. Aomy hadn¡¯t actually meant for them to have an accent but like at the start of creation when The Seven had subconsciously willed into existence gravity and light, Aomy had subconsciously given her dwarves Scottish accents.

    Another dwarf nodded in agreement. ¡°Unless this plump beastie is actually a vicious monster.¡± She licked her lips. ¡°Better kill it quick just in case!¡±

    With mounting horror, memories of Earth¡¯s poison dart frogs began to float through Aomy¡¯s mind as she began to realise what the danger was.

    Before she could cry out, the spear of the hungry dwarf had already pierced the rizzelian snikpopkaputiorthanks¡¯ side.

    With a darkly comical ¡°Squeak!¡± the snikpop burst.

    The dwarves stared in shock and their own mounting horror as a dark purple cloud began to rise from the poisonous hamsters deflated body and into the face of the dwarf who stabbed it. Immediately, the unprepared huntress began to choke, her face bloating and turning red, doing a rather good impression of the hamster she¡¯d just stabbed.

    Experienced enough with crisis at this point to shake off her shock relatively quickly, Aomy channelled her divinity to download information into her mind. More specifically, she asked her omniscience if there was an antidote.

    Blessedly, Naturum had left some vines which when ingested would cure the snikpopkaputiorthanks¡¯ poison, identifiable by its slightly bluer tint. Aomy ran to it, mentally cursed herself for not teleporting or just conjuring some of the plant in her hand and then wrenched a clump of the vines from the wall.With the accuracy only attainable by those on a level so far beyond mortals that they may as well be omnipotent, Aomy hurled antidote into the open mouth of the dwarf who had been gasping for air.

    ¡°Quick! Eat!¡± she screamed. Eyes wide, the poor poisoned dwarf began to chew and as she did, her face began to de-bloat and un-redden.

    Aomy released a dramatic sigh of relief. ¡°Okay, don¡¯t eat any more of those hamsters.¡± She paused to download more information. ¡°Eat the green ones instead. They¡¯re good to eat. I¡¯m, uh, gonna update your minds as well. All the dwarves minds that is. So they all know. Um, yeah.¡±

    That had been one part of the crisis. Unlike the hufolk, who she could gift knowledge appropriate for their surroundings, as their surroundings were essentially England, the dwarves lived in an environment alien to her, and thus she didn¡¯t know what information to give them.

    She cursed herself again for not researching the new country beforehand, or asking Naturum, Loma, or Scientia what would be in it. Still, this wasn¡¯t the main cause of emergencies, not by a long shot. The main cause of emergencies was-

    Another alarm blared in the civilisation goddess¡¯s head. Relief from sorting one problem immediately faded into a fresh terror as she warped herself to the next calamity. She was in a tunnel now, one lit by the orange, glowing rocks that Loma had made when designing this countries caverns. A group of dwarves huddled around them, staring apprehensively into the darkness that appeared once the thirty-foot area of light faded.

    These people had nothing but the clothes they were born in. Plants, especially trees were somewhat scarce, meaning if you were unlucky and were created far from an oasis it might be a while until you found the materials necessary to make tools.

    Aomy looked down the corridor in the direction the dwarves were facing. At the very edge of her vision, at the back of the corridor, was a faint pale blue outline. Aomy was familiar with them. A monster introduced in this new country, they were disconcerting humanoid shapes that floated inches from the ground, were featureless and glowed an unearthly glow. Despite their spectral appearance, sticking your hand in one would reveal it was actually a slime and you would start to get sucked into its acidic body.

    She winced as more outlines flickered into existence at the end of the corridor. She enhanced her vision and saw hordes of them, turning a corner at the end of the tunnel, slowly drifting towards their target of sapient life, picking up speed little by little. Aomy gulped and glanced back at the defenceless group she must protect.

    There was only so much power she could grant someone before it counted as meddling and her contract wouldn¡¯t allow her to bestow any more. Would it be enough to save this group? It had been enough last night, but those humans had at least some makeshift weapons even if they were mostly armed with torches, pitchforks and particularly large sticks. Would these people die while she failed to save them?! She steeled herself and took deep breaths. These monsters probably weren¡¯t even the real threat. The real threat was probably-

    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    A loud rumble could be heard echoing down the cavern. Within seconds, the whole world seemed to be shaking and dust started to fall from the tunnels roof. Dwarves screamed and clung to each other, and a colossal crash could be heard next to the slime geists.

    With her enhanced vision, Aomy saw an incredible force of nature in the form of a huge spiked wurm burst through the wall, devouring the whole swarm of slimes in one bite, before burrowing into the wall opposite and continuing its tunnelling in search of new prey.

    The ceiling above the dwarves shook and mighty boulders began to dislodge themselves from the roof. This was the main cause of emergencies, that plagued the dwarven race. At least Aomy was prepared now.

    Holding a hand out, a purely ceremonial gesture to reassure the dwarves (and herself) she held the boulders and the cavern roof in place. With the other hand she pulled chunks of glowstone out of the wall and started passing them to the grateful dwarves.

    ¡°Um, take these. Find an oasis. It, er probably won¡¯t be completely safe there but there¡¯s life. I¡¯m, uh, working on it.¡±

    Once she¡¯d given each dwarf a chunk, a process which took far too long due to each dwarf giving her their own personalised thanks for saving their life, Aomy dulled her pain and slumped onto the floor as boulders collapsed around her.

    For five glorious minutes no alarms blared and Aomy tensely not-quite-relaxed amidst a cocoon of rocks. Once those precious seconds were up, she grew restless and decided to teleport to other dwarf groups to see how they were faring. Unlike when first meeting Clive and Zach, she made herself incorporeal so she could assess her dwarves condition while they weren¡¯t in holy reverence of a deity that had appeared before them.

    What she saw, didn¡¯t please her. A group of dwarves who were lucky enough to have proper wooden torches were hesitantly crawling down a dark corridor, eyes darting back and forth. When an excelsian bat flitted past half the dwarves practically shit themselves with terror.

    Another group were camped around a different chunk of glowstone. The cave walls here where so close together here and each dwarf was almost close to stuck. They all looked cramped and unhappy. Aomy¡¯s heart broke as she sympathised with the plight of each troubled dwarf she saw, but her moment of pity was cut short as a fresh new alarm rang in her mind.

    Wearily she willed herself to her next source of worry. Another beautiful oasis greeted her, filled with the happiest dwarves she¡¯d seen so far, merrily splashing about at the pool in the centre of the cavern. She briefly felt bad that their joy would soon be cut off, before a colossal rumble could be heard once more.

    Instincts honed, the various animals of the underground burst from hiding, skittering, flying or in one case, propelling via explosions away. Another massive wurm smashed through the ceiling of the oasis sending a fresh truckload of debris raining down upon the dwarves as its vast body turned to charge down the tunnel towards what Aomy vaguely recognized as some generic giant spider monsters.

    Aomy held her hands up once more and held the rocks in place so the dwarves here could follow the animals out this particularly cavern until a new oasis sprung into existence to preserve the ecosystem. The civilisation goddess eyed the animals jealously. The constant rock falls barely seemed to affect them.

    And then a thought hit her. Of course these animals seemed unaffected by their environment! They were designed with the environment in mind. A downside of dwarven simplicity is that, well, people who are essentially humans but short, aren¡¯t actually particularly suited to living in caves. They¡¯ll be blind when separated from tools or other light sources and their squishy, slow bodies puts them at risk of cave ins even in worlds where huge wurms aren¡¯t constantly shaking the landscape up.

    But what could she do about it? Gift each dwarf thicker skulls and the ability to see in the dark? A flagrant violation of her contract to not fuck with mortals. Drop a hard hat and torch next to each dwarf? Her contract might allow it, but she still felt there was a better solution. Her dwarves didn¡¯t like living underground, they probably had a human aversion to claustrophobic spaces. Berate herself endlessly about not making the dwarves properly in the first place? Tempting, but unhelpful.

    She needed to get the dwarves out the underground and to the current hufolk country. Teleporting them all out wouldn¡¯t work thanks to the contract, but could she lead them out? What if she made a guardian? A protector? Someone who could keep the dwarves safe while they lead them to better lands. What if she made¡­an angel?

    Yes, yes, that was it! Immediately she teleported back to her stage and began sculpting a body out of the nothingness. The skin was dark blue, and it glowed a radiant light. Eyes, when opened glowed a resplendent gold, and the dove-like wings were the same champion¡¯s colour.

    Unlike angels from popular media, this particularly body was that of a dwarves, angelified. The face was handsome, yet not unparalleled, and the body was muscular but not unattainably so. It was the body of the people¡¯s champion. A hero they could strive to be, exempting the holy colours of civilisation the body was coloured and the being¡¯s wings. They were even dressed somewhat plainly, sporting little but some simple black trousers.

    Aomy stepped back from her creation, but the stress, fear and tiredness she felt kept her from properly examining it. Deciding it was good enough, she gave the form life, gifting it with a far more comprehensive understanding of the universe than the mortals got, including knowledge of her world, and the being¡¯s purpose.

    As the figure began to blink, becoming aware in its first few moments of existence, Aomy fell backwards onto the stage, desperate for some rest at last.

    The figure eyed her curiously. ¡°My goddess?¡±

    Aomy sat back up. ¡°You know your purpose. You know the crisis. Please. Please help the dwarves.¡±

    The angel nodded. ¡°I shall, but no alarms blare yet. Will you give me a name? It is customary for a mother to give one to her son.¡±

    Aomy blinked. That wasn¡¯t how this worked right? Yeah, she¡¯d created them, but she wasn¡¯t the mother of all the sapient beings of Excelsior, was she? That would just feel weird. Still, she replied ¡°I name you Drumserra, angel to the dwarves. Um. Please go help them now? They¡¯re not happy in the underground, they need the light.¡±

    ¡°Then my purpose is more than to protect? I must keep the dwarves happy?¡± quired Drumserra.

    ¡°I guess?¡± was Aomy¡¯s unfulfilling answer.

    Unfulfilling to most anyway. Drumserra seemed quite satisfied. ¡°I will enact my task.¡± His wings unfurled before winking out of sight.

    Aomy sighed and lay back down. But before she could rest, she realised that she couldn¡¯t leave the new country empty. Something new had to be created in the place of the dwarves. Switching from relieved sigh to agonised groan, she got up and began planning a new creation.

    They needed to survive in the underground. The main problem with the dwarves was their lack of durability and speed, so these new people needed those. Maybe a carapace? That¡¯s basically armour for bugs. Yes, and like bugs they can swiftly scuttle from place to place!

    In no time, the goddess had come up with the design of a new race. They were humanoid, half the size of an average human, just like the dwarves. The carapace was an incredibly dark grey and covered their back, while their skin was a lighter variant of the same colour and could be seen from the front. Sticking out of the fleshy skin, all along their front where hundreds of much smaller, more insectile legs.

    When rocks would begin to fall, they would flip onto their fronts, their sturdy backs protecting them from a certain degree of rock damage and their legs would speed them away from danger at a comparable speed to the fauna that lived in the oases. Their faces were mostly comparable to a humans, except for a large set of mandibles which were intended as a large ditch effort to break apart rock if trapped in a rockslide and as a substitute for many of the tools which are harder to find materials for in the underground.

    They had additional features beyond what was visible. Their eyes could see in darkness, a feature she really should have given her dwarves in the first place and their brains were slightly different due to the fact they were actually quite comfortable in cramped conditions.

    A thought crossed her mind. These new beings would have a leg up over humans and dwarves, wouldn¡¯t they? Was this something she should be doing? She quickly cleared her mind of doubts, too tired to want to really dive deep into the ethics of what she was doing. Yes, they had advantages but those are made up for by armour and horses. These people would only have an advantage in sports competitions, which there were already categories for, like weight categories in wrestling.

    With a wave of her hand, these people, whom she christened sapiapods, began to appear wherever dwarves had already been evacuated, born with the complete set of knowledge that the dwarves had unintentionally risked their lives to get her.

    Wearily, she went to her room. It was large, yet surprisingly sparse and undecorated, with the noticeable exception of a huge, beautifully designed bed. Truly, it was a bed fit for a goddess, or even several assuming they were all of similar size to Aomy. She leapt into it and finally let herself truly rest.

    And the unexpected happened. A smile appeared on Aomy¡¯s now human face. It was a slight smile, a weary smile, maybe even a worried smile, but it was a smile. Oh, she knew that soon the doubts would come, assaulting her mind with accusations of being responsible for the deaths of all those dwarves, claims she wasn¡¯t fit to be a creator goddess, and possibly darker thoughts than that. But that was for later. She smiled because she had saved the dwarves.

    A flicker of doubt passed through her mind early, before she quickly ignored it. She was assuming she¡¯d saved the dwarves. It was of course possible, that Drumserra would run into difficulty. But she was sure he¡¯d do fine.

 1.13: Escape

    Morgrun stared at the seemingly innocuous cave wall, sweat dripping from his brow, his hands balled into fists. A group of fellow dwarves stood behind him, all equally frozen in place, all equally tensed and ready to run.

    All an animal would see was a cave wall, if that, as these tunnels were lit by little but the faint smatterings of glowstone the family of dwarves had smashed from a distant rock face. But the dwarves, and any other sapient life on Excelsior would get a message in their heads telling them they were looking at a bullet snake.

    Now, none of them really knew what a bullet snake was, their tendency to hide to ambush prey meant Aomy hadn¡¯t noticed them to update the knowledge gifted the first generation of sapient life. What Aomy also didn¡¯t know was that none of Naturum¡¯s creatures attacked sapients unless provoked. This fact would have really helped the panic-stricken dwarves.

    As amusing as it would be for an outside observer to witness these tough bearded fellows shaking with terror at a wall, with the only ¡°danger¡± being a snake patiently waiting for them to move away so they¡¯d stop scaring away the bats the snake was hungry for, it was an unfortunate truth that these dwarves were in trouble.

    They¡¯d been wandering for hours, with no sign of an oasis anywhere, and no oasis meant no tools and no tools meant no edible food. Unless bats could be eaten raw. The dwarves weren¡¯t keen to test that.

    And so, the dwarves continued to stand motionless and who knows what would befall them if they were left unaided. It is unlikely they would stand forever until they starved, but if they procrastinated backing away for too long that might happen anyway. Perhaps one of them would provoke the snake and have their eye taken out by the creatures¡¯ claws. Perhaps a monster would appear, prompting a hunter wurm to collapse the tunnel and force the dwarves to flee or be crushed.

    Fortunately, there is little need to speculate, as help was soon to arrive. The dwarves heard a rumbling, not unlike those heard by the horrible wurms that had crushed many of their kind. They looked wearily between each other, mentally debating fleeing before a large figure burst through the wall the dwarves had been so scared of.

    Small chunks of debris and a perplexed snake flew into the dwarves, and they shielded their eyes, both from the projectiles that seemed to inexplicably avoid them, but also from the radiant blue light that now filled the cavern. The light faded, and blinking the dwarves looked up at their saviour. Golden wings unfurled and mighty, an angel stood before them.

    Before any of them could react, the angel bowed a bow full of flourish and grace and then returned to his full, impressively tall (for a dwarf) height.

    ¡°Come with me, and I shall lead you towards salvation!¡± the being boldly cried. ¡°Call on me, and I shall bring you happiness!¡±

    He turned his back and began to march down the corridor that he had barrelled through to reach the dwarves, pausing halfway down to turn his head back to see if the dwarves were following. Morgrun exchanged a glance between the rest of his shocked platoon of dwarves, before he confidently marched after the angels. Soon a procession of dwarves followed him.

    <hr>

    Many miles away, a young hufolk rode their horse into an equally young town. Of course, only a day and a half into their creation, all hufolk were young, meaning calling the figure a young hufolk was somewhat a waste of a description. Especially considering all the unusual details that you could describe instead. Such as the fact that the only visible hair they had was their eyebrows. Or the fact their eyes contained such an unparalleled wonder at the town before them.

    It''s also an equally wasteful description calling the town young, for much the same reason. Although, as the young settlements of Exclesior went, this town hid its youth the best. While you would have to stretch to call it sprawling, it was noticeably a town not a village, with almost all the houses needed to house its population already built.

    There were still signs at the edge of the village of construction, a few houses still being built but the speed at which it had been assembled was beyond impressive. A few people even felt free enough to start to paint and personalise their slapdash homes.

    Granted, the hufolk riding in thought this may lead to problems later. The houses weren¡¯t high quality and so much would have to be rebuilt when they fell into disrepair. Additionally, the single-minded dedication to house building in even a small town meant that the areas near the centre would have no space to build shops and other necessities, meaning homes would have to be repurposed and their people moved, or else people would have to walk a bloody long way to get to shops built at the edge of town.

    Fortunately, shops wouldn¡¯t be needed for a while yet, or at least, shops dedicated to food wouldn¡¯t. The figure saw people hunched over fires preparing the juicy snails that had fallen from the sky the night before. They were in no small supply either.

    Along what could be generously called streets in a town not exactly designed and more thrown together were small trenches being dug into the ground. People with makeshift brooms were scraping the splattered snails into said gutters from the floors and rooves for later use and with the commendable depth of the hole, they would be able to keep the streets clean next snail fall so long as enough people swept the bodies into the holes.

    That hadn¡¯t been this towns invention. One genius group of hufolk hadn¡¯t made a village and instead had tamed enough horses for them all to spread out across their country, discovering the inventions and adaptions of the then insular villages and sharing them with the next village they came across. Inspired, many hufolk decided to join their journey and spread ideas themselves. That was why the rider was here in fact. What a perfect opportunity to see the world!

    ¡°Clive!¡± a deep voice yelled from across the theoretical street. Sitting upon horses of their own was a muscled man and woman, both waving and hollering. Clive smiled, before quickly adopting a stern expression. Here were their travelling companions. The man, Martha, and the woman, Odysseus.

    ¡°You abandoned me!¡± they called back, dismounting their house to run up to the duo. ¡°The town was in sight for only a second and you abandoned me!¡±

    Martha, face slightly reddened, held a hand behind his head and mumbled ¡°Sorry boss.¡±

    Odysseus however was having none of it and hands on hips replied ¡°You coulda caught up with us anytime. You wanna arrive slow? Then you arrive later.¡±

    Clive shook their head. ¡°We only made it to this town at the time we did because we didn¡¯t race all the way there. The rider who told me about this profession stressed how important it was to not tire out your mount. Otherwise, you won¡¯t make it anywhere.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough boss. But I¡¯m happy I rode ahead. This place is interestin¡¯.¡±

    Martha¡¯s comment was met by enthusiastic nodding from Odysseus. ¡°Yeah. Last night they had a festival.¡±

    Clive quickly scanned through Aomy¡¯s knowledge to work out just what the heck a festival was. Upon finding it, they replied ¡°I see. I presume in celebration of the hufolk¡¯s or the worlds creation?¡±

    ¡°Nah¡± the wild woman said. ¡°Its in honour of the snail rains. People here are big into Rizzlerizzen- Rizzleritchensteen- The people here call him ¡°The Esteemed God of the Longest, Greatest Name."¡±

    Clive frowned. ¡°They value the snails over their birth?¡±

    ¡°This place was hit by some bad monster attacks with all the people here. Lost a lotta food in the attack. Then, while all hungry, the skies opened their food to them¡± the muscled man explained.

    That made sense to Clive, but something bothered them. Before they could figure it out, Odysseus interjected by yelling ¡°Hey, why didn¡¯t we get a festival back home?! We stayed all huddled up the whole storm!¡±

    Clive¡¯s brows furrowed. ¡°We weren¡¯t sure if the snails were dangerous. I posit that they must have been magically slowed, as from cloud height, snail shells should have hurt.¡±

    Clive wondered why Aomy¡¯s knowledge had been so lacking on snails. Detailed guides were given on how to prepare all kinds of plants and meats, but considering they were the most plentiful food source, information on snails was incredibly limited.

    Basically all the information on them was their name, which was now superfluous considering just looking at a snail told you what its name was, as of today. Maybe the gods didn¡¯t communicate much and Rizzleritchensteineonizziism just hadn¡¯t told Aomy about snail rains. And then it clicked.

    ¡°Wait, how do these people know who made the snail rains?¡±

    Odysseus looked as surprised as Clive, but fortunately Martha knew enough to explain. ¡°¡¯Parantly, these folks had an immortal visiting their town sometime today. They all wanted to know who to thank for the snails and so the immortal prayed for information on who it was. Turned out it was Rizzlerish- Rizzleritchensteineo¡­ something. The Esteemed God of the Longest, Greatest Name.¡±

    Odysseus looked to her companion, shocked. ¡°How the fuck did you know all that?¡±

    Martha blushed. ¡°I listened in on a coupla¡¯ folk talkin¡¯. Turns out the immortal¡¯s still holed up in the town hall. Yer wanna go look?¡±

    That last part of his sentence was addressed to Clive who was looking more and more curious as the conversation went on.

    ¡°Yes, I rather think I do.¡± After all that was the destination they were heading to anyway, to gather any ideas this towns peoples may have had and spread them to neighbouring towns and other riders, as their professions required. Unbeknownst to them, they weren¡¯t the only one heading to this location.

    <hr>

    Morgrun¡¯s platoon of dwarves had upgraded to a small army, all following the resplendent angel as he charged through their mountain birthplace, freeing more and more dwarves as he did. Through tunnels and caverns, bare rock and vibrant oasis, no dwarves were left abandoned, and all happily joined the hero¡¯s quest for salvation.

    But some, they questioned what they were being saved from. Not many, granted, but some of those born in the light of oases, who hadn¡¯t yet watched their world crumble at the whim of the wurms. The other dwarves were all too eager to vent and explain their plight, but Morgrun wasn¡¯t convinced.

    There was more to this, he could swear. Every group of dwarves they found and saved, he¡¯d heard it. Scuttling. Caught out the corner of his eye a dark shape filling in the space the dwarves had left. Something else was claiming the caverns.

    Something disgusting. Something insectile, with many legs and strange contorted forms that in the shadows seemed to snap between humanoid and bug. There was no doubt in Morgrun¡¯s mind. They weren¡¯t just being saved from wurms or hostile environments. They were being saved from monsters.

    He explained his theory to the man he had been marching alongside since a few stops ago. He was a surprisingly pale person, short even by the standards of those half the size of a hufolk and upon hearing Morgrun¡¯s musings he leaned towards him conspiratorially.

    ¡°I reckon yer right about that. Me and the lads have been talking, and they say that harmless creatures, when you see ¡®em, their names popped into their head right?¡±

    Morgrun nodded, remembering the bullet snake with expertly concealed embarrassment.

    ¡°Yeah, so, those creatures, they don¡¯t attack you unless you attack first, but there are these other creature-like things, which you don¡¯t see the name of. They do attack yer, yer see, and they¡¯ll seek out other forms of life and kill ¡®em.¡±

    Morgrun nodded again. ¡°What the people call monsters. I am aware of them.¡±

    The other dwarf leaned in even closer, a menacing grin spreading across his face. ¡°Well, you saw the outlines of those scuttling things, right? Did the name of them appear in yer head?¡± He leaned back away from Morgrun, his smugness evident.

    Morgrun grinned too. To him, that basically confirmed his theory, didn¡¯t it? If they weren¡¯t animals, they must be monsters! Unless of course they were a sapient species like the dwarves, but that disproved his point, so he casually ignored that possibility.

    Perhaps, if he¡¯d been given more time to think further, he would have developed this theory, and he could have accepted that sapiapods may not be monsters like he assumed, but with a great crack of rock walls being demolished, the time for theorising was over. Light, bright light, almost divine to the dwarves who¡¯d been kept from the sun for so long, streamed into the tunnel and with a mighty cheer, the dwarves surged out of their mountains.

    Morgrun charged forwards with the rest, and stopped, feet now on soft earthen ground and he smiled as he surveyed his surroundings. It was beautiful. Practically paradise to the half-day-old dwarves who¡¯d never known anything else. A strange golden ball hung in the sky, filling all of Morgrun¡¯s sight with such a vibrant colour that easily outshone anything in the underground. And his sight stretched so far too! So much wider than he had imagined possible!

    Ahead of him stretched wondrous plains of even ground, dwarves running wildly, enjoying their freedom from the restrictive tunnels, some even rolling about in the grass. Others were content to collapse, relieved, to the ground and stare in awe-struck wonder up at the towering mountains that had been their cage.

    Morgrun scanned the horizon, the pale dwarf he had travelled with at his side.

    He looked up at Morgrun, concerned, and said ¡°I hate to trouble yer, but that info in our heads says that monsters still show up out here, only when that sun thing becomes some moon thing. Which may happen soon.¡±

    Morgrun smiled down at him. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t worry about that my friend.¡± He turned his head and with a shout, addressed all the dwarves of Excelsior. ¡°Our journey is not over yet!¡± he cried, finger pointed to the edge of vision. ¡°Our saviour has left a town for our protection. My fellow dwarves! Resume your charge!¡±

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    The dwarves didn¡¯t need telling twice. With a wild shout of their own, the amassed army of ex-mountain dwellers began to dash toward the houses beyond the plains, whooping and hollering, still exhilarated by the wonder of this new world.

    <hr>

    ¡°Fancy a snail, rider?¡± A tall man, hair what Aomy¡¯s knowledge called a ¡°bowl cut¡± offered Clive a squishy snail from a bowl of the things. They politely declined and resumed their somewhat antsy sitting in the town hall.

    It was one of the few buildings not a house in this hastily built, yet unnamed, town, but if you presumed that meant the people here spent any greater length of time on it, you¡¯d be mistaken. It was cramped and ramshackle and felt more like a hut than a hall. Still, its mere existence was an oddity in the still fresh universe Clive had been born in, so they savoured its uniqueness as best they could, while anxiously awaiting the conversation before them to reach a conclusion.

    ¡°Shame you had no new information. Woulda loved to know more than just what the old rider said.¡± Despite the tendency for sentences like this to be somewhat passive-aggressive, the delivery implied the statement was fully earnest and not accusatory. It wasn¡¯t delivered by the bowl cut man. If his hair was likened to an upturned bowl, this one¡¯s hair should be likened to an uncontrollable explosion.

    They were both part of what was theoretically the ruling body of this town. What this really meant in this age before voting, councils, mayors, ministers or kings, was they were the people who¡¯d volunteered to do all the fiddly town planning, idea implementing stuff. Bowl cut was most enthused about the projects to ensure snail consumption lasted till next snail fall, while explosive hair had pretty much single handily ran the festival.

    They weren¡¯t the focus of this particular meeting that Clive had asked to sit in on. The focus stood in the centre of the small space, penned in by the chairs of the other volunteer leaders. His hair was a bright blue, a sign he was not a hufolk, but an immortal, and his eyes were wild. This was Zach, a worshiper of Aomy.

    ¡°C¡¯mon!¡± he yelled. ¡°I did that whole praying thing for you bozos! You gotta help me!¡±

    A red face town planner, focused on the boring role of resource management spluttered ¡°We can¡¯t go gallivanting of on your wild expeditions. We have our hands full establishing a living space for all these people as is!¡±

    ¡°Oh, pardon my rudeness, good sir, but fuck that!¡± cried the immortal. ¡°I¡¯ll have you know, I¡¯m on a divine mission from the gods. Yes, I know, slather me with admiration, its pretty fucking cool, but it means I need to go into those mountains! There don¡¯t seem to be any entrances, so pretty please, use some of your resources to break a hole into them and fulfil the wills of the almighty!¡±

    Clive sighed. They really wanted to spread the knowledge the riders had accrued to the people in the mountains, mostly because they just wanted to explore the caves, so it was getting increasingly hard to agree with the much more sensible position of the townspeople, even though they were indubitably in the right.

    Bowl cut stopped guzzling snails from his bowl for a second to look up. ¡°When the gods gave you this task, did they specify a time limit? Or can you report back whenever?¡±

    Zach paused. ¡°Okay, I can report back whenever. But I¡¯d reaaalllly like to go now.¡±

    ¡°I believe that settles the matter¡± announced red-faced man, as the group nodded and began to stand and prepare to leave.

    ¡°What? No! Don¡¯t go!¡± cried Zach.

    The leaders tried to ignore him, as sympathetic as the more adventurous at heart where, until red-faced man looked out the window.

    The blood rushed out his head, transforming him into pale-faced man. ¡°T-there¡¯s something approaching!¡± he stammered. ¡°An army of short people!¡±

    Zach laughed, genuinely. ¡°Ha! Thought you could distract me with something as silly as that! Oh, you wily lot, can¡¯t stay made at ya! Wasn¡¯t born yesterday though!¡± The two-day old man flashed a smile at the room full of people born yesterday, until he saw them all scramble over to the window. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re serious aren¡¯t you.¡±

    <hr>

    There it was. It wasn¡¯t as grand or awe-inspiring as Morgrun expected it would be, and a critic may even call the whole place prone to imminent collapse, but still Morgrun¡¯s face lit up with glee. It was a settlement far larger in scope than any Morgrun could have imagined before leaving the caves and besides, any settlement on the surface was beyond exciting because of what it represented. Safety! Comfort! And home.

    A crowd of strange tall people began to wearily make their way over. Some seemed curious, others scared of the large group of people running toward them at quite a fast pace.

    Morgrun held his hand up and yelled ¡°Dwarves! Halt!¡±

    At once, the army behind him slowed to a standstill and some vaguely important looking people began to push to the front of the crowd.

    An absurdly red-faced man stood at their front and, breathless and panting, managed to say ¡°You. Just. Who are you and what do you want here?¡±

    Morgrun bowed low and replied ¡°We are the dwarves, chosen by the gods for salvation. Thank you for building this town for us, we are most grateful.¡±

    ¡°What? What!?¡± spluttered the man. ¡°We built this for us to live in, you arrogant man! If you were to move in, were would we go?!¡±

    Morgrun turned to his fellow dwarves and sighed. ¡°It appears they don¡¯t understand their own purpose.¡± He turned back to the hufolk and cried ¡°What part of chosen by the gods do you not understand? The divine angel Drumserra escorted us here! Do you claim it coincidence that a town awaited us once we escaped our would-be tomb? And are you bold enough to claim that the salvation offered by the gods does not extend to shelter and sanctuary to survive a night filled with monsters?¡±

    Both the red-faced man and a bald person looked ready to argue back and attempt to de-escalate the situation respectively, but a muscled one-armed man standing next to the bald one stepped forward before either could speak.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry boss, I¡¯ll handle this goon.¡± He stared down at Morgrun. ¡°Now, I dunno what funny ideas you got into your tiny little head, but I will personally kick the arse of anyone trying to steal these homes. You hear me?¡±

    The bald fellow ran forward and quickly interjected ¡°Um, of course, we would be more than willing to protect you all for the night, maybe even help you build homes of your own. Maybe that¡¯s the divine reason you were brought here?¡±

    But Morgrun seemed not to even hear them and continued to stare at the tall man trying to frighten him away. ¡°Drumserra¡± he muttered coldly, seemingly to no one. ¡°You claimed I could call on you to bring me happiness. Well, it would bring me great happiness.¡± He paused for dramatic effect. ¡°If you hurt this man.¡±

    With a blinding blue flash of light, the angel appeared and the amazed hufolk stared down at this heroic figure none had ever seen before. He turned his head a fraction toward Morgrun, frowning, before he reached out and grabbed Martha¡¯s one remaining hand. Shocked, he froze, unable to react, until Drumserra effortlessly lifted Martha over his head and then slammed him back down into the ground.

    With a gasp, the hufolk fell silent. One of them dropped a bowl of snails to the ground and ran over to the downed warrior and cried ¡°Help! Help! Someone who¡¯s looked into the information on healing! He needs medical attention! Quick!¡±

    Two hufolk dashed out the crowd and turned Martha over, revealing his glazed expression. One of them began to gently shake his shoulders while the other asked ¡°Hello. Are you conscious? If you are, please give a sign, such as responding, or moving your eyes.¡± Martha¡¯s eyes wandered over to the hufolk talking and his mouth moved as if he was trying to talk. ¡°He¡¯s responsive!¡± the person cried.

    It wasn¡¯t a dreadful first attempt at first aid, although it did have one glaring flaw. The first step in the DR ABC mnemonic Aomy had included in the general knowledge given to the first generation of Excelsians was Danger. And these hufolk had not checked for danger.

    Morgrun stepped forward and planted his foot down on the defeated Martha and the two hufolk scrambled back into the crowd as the dwarf spoke again. ¡°See what happens to those who resist the will of the holy! Now, I cannot see your species name in my mind, meaning you must either be monsters or like us. I would like to assume the latter, but if you argue or resist in any way, I will realise the opposite must be true. So! I take control of this town. All of you, obey me and my fellow dwarves!¡±

    Clive frowned. These people must definitely be misinterpreting the will of the gods. Aomy would not want this.

    Morgrun looked up as the androgynous hufolk took this moment to kneel on the soil before him, so the two were eye level. He registered the barest traces of a frown before a welcoming smile lit up the persons face.

    ¡°Of course, of course, you must be right, and I regret we did not realise our purpose sooner!¡± Their smile widened, full of genuine warmth and friendliness. ¡°Although, I believe our purpose may go deeper than you think.¡±

    Morgrun appraised them, suspicious, but they seemed totally honest. ¡°Go on¡± he murmured.

    ¡°Well, you see, we have lived above long before you even existed, when your mountains were nothing but a void that these people could see from the edge of their town.¡±

    Morgrun¡¯s brows furrowed. ¡°I fail to see you¡¯re point.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you granted us power beyond just following orders, I think we could help.¡± They spoke faster before Morgrun could interrupt. ¡°I propose a council, led by you of course, and you could veto any decisions made, but if some council members were hufolk they could guide you past the mistakes they had made themselves and teach you what we hufolk have learnt that isn¡¯t available in the information gifted to you by Aomy.¡± They paused. ¡°Which I presume you have, favoured by the gods of course.¡±

    The dwarfs¡¯ eyes narrowed. ¡°We have that information, yes.¡±

    ¡°Fantastic! I recommend bowl cut, firework hair and red face to be on your council, along with whoever else they recommend.¡± The figure was gesturing at the ex-volunteer leaders and then paused. ¡°And I recommend those two medics join them.¡±

    The red-faced council appointee spluttered, as he so often did. ¡°We have names you know!¡±

    ¡°Not the time¡± replied the hufolk Morgrun was addressing. ¡°Of course, appoint as many or as few dwarves as you wish and you will have a trustworthy group to, well, council you on your ruling.¡±

    ¡°And this not a ploy for more power?¡±

    The hufolk shook their head. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t dare.¡±

    ¡°Then I shall accept your proposal, tall person.¡± Morgrun¡¯s eyes glowed triumphantly, and he yelled ¡°Now, my first order of business! All those but the tall people recommended by the person in front of me, leave this town at once!¡±

    ¡°I have a name you know. Clive¡± replied Clive to the indignant stare of red face. ¡°And I suggest you don¡¯t do that.¡±

    Morgrun sneered at them. ¡°You are not on my council for a reason. Do not advise me further and leave, lest I conclude you are a shifty fucker trying to manipulate me.¡±

    Clive shook their head emphatically. ¡°Oh, I wouldn¡¯t dare! I just think, claiming just a town wouldn¡¯t measure up to your majesty, nor would it be the full extent of the gods will.¡±

    Morgrun¡¯s eyebrows narrowed once more. ¡°Interesting. Go on.¡±

    ¡°Well, this town is just one corner of a vast, vast land filled with villages. The rider network already stretches far and knowledge of distant places have already been carried to me, but even I still do not know how far existence stretches. I recommend you send your dwarves forth to claim this whole country! Now, of course, I am not a member of the council, but still, I recommend your dwarves stay the night, for safety in numbers, but come morning they set forth to travel to the other settlements!¡±

    Morgrun stayed silent but looked like he was on the verge of being convinced, so Clive continued. ¡°Just think! This town, large as it is, still can¡¯t hold all your dwarves! And if this settlement exists for your chosen dwarves to rule, then surely the others must too.¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± cried Morgrun. ¡°We shan¡¯t evict more tall people than necessary. We shall wait until tomorrow before sending dwarves forward to claim new lands.¡± He glared at Clive. ¡°But you. You are too clever for your own good. You shall leave tonight.¡±

    Clive nodded. ¡°Once my friend is able to leave with me, I shall depart this village for the night.¡±

    Morgrun nodded and began to order around the still frightened townsfolk, as Clive slunk away into the crowd.

    <hr>

    Night had once more struck Excelsior and Clive, Odysseus and the still winded Martha sat around a campfire beneath a night sky that had yet to invent stars. The moon was out though, and it tried its best to ensure to night sky was as beautiful as it was on Earth, although, to anyone who wasn¡¯t a huge moon fan, they would probably say it was failing.

    Martha, gently stroking the head of his sleepy horse mumbled ¡°Boss, why¡¯d you let those dwarves claim the village like that? And encourage them to claim more villages?¡±

    Clive sighed and looked away from the view of the small town from the small hill they were sitting on. Abandoning their current train of thought, which admittedly was mildly disappointedly wishing everywhere had hills as grand as their hometown had, they replied ¡°Mmm. Best I could make of a bad hand.¡±

    Odysseus snapped up from her moon gazing to stare at the two. ¡°The hell d¡¯you mean by that?¡±

    Clive¡¯s downcast eyes gazed at the grass they sat upon. ¡°I mean, those were the best conditions I thought I could negotiate for. That dwarf was set upon complete control. Best I could do was ensure some hufolk had a measure of power and can at least try and make life decent for their fellows.¡±

    Martha nodded. ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t!¡± yelled Ody, her shout sending a flock of nocturnal birds screeching from the forest opposite the town. ¡°Well, I kinda do. The bit about making sure we get a bit of say. But you sent more dwarves off to claim more land? Nuts!¡±

    Clive smiled, albeit bitterly. ¡°I thought that was quite smart actually. When the dwarves leave, many hufolk will still have houses, especially if the townsfolk do as I recommended and begin constructing new houses for the dwarves who want to stay. If those who are still evicted choose to build a new home for themselves in the morning, most hufolk shouldn¡¯t have to abandon their hometown.¡±

    ¡°As a bonus¡± Clive continued. ¡°I can catch any dwarves on the road and convince them not to terrorize other villages. Most seemed as shocked as the hufolk were when you were thrown about, Martha.¡± The bitterness left their smile a little and their eyes shone with true hope. ¡°I really do think I can encourage most of them to follow Aomy¡¯s guidelines for civilisations.¡±

    The muscled man winced, remembering the beatdown he¡¯d received. ¡°Mmm. That the plan now then boss? Cease rider-ing and get all those dwarves to be good?¡±

    Clive sighed, and a bit of the light left their eyes. ¡°Unless I¡¯m granted to ability to magically travel whole countries at great speed, then yes. That and ride into town and try to help the dwarves there. Maybe even pray that my assessment that their leader was a mad zealot drunk on power is wrong and I can convince him to change his ways.

    ¡°Hey, maybe you could pray for cool travel magic! That¡¯d be cool!¡± Odysseus grinned.

    ¡°I believe only immortals can pray and contact gods. I vaguely remember that being in Aomy¡¯s information somewhere¡± replied Clive.

    ¡°Hey, can¡¯t hurt to try!¡±

    Martha was ignoring this back and forth, deep in thought. ¡°Clive¡± he mumbled. ¡°Didn¡¯t you agree to leave that town? How¡¯re you gonna ride back in?¡±

    ¡°Now, that¡¯s easy.¡± Clive grinned, with no trace of the bitterness or the wanderlust, and instead just the mischievous grin of a trickster. ¡°I only ever agreed to leave for the night!¡±

    Martha thought back on that conversation and then began to laugh a deep booming laugh. ¡°Oh, so you did. I can¡¯t wait to see the look on their faces!¡±

    Odysseus quickly joined in the laughter. ¡°And I thought the shock the dwarves had when day suddenly switched to night was funny enough! Oh, tomorrow will be a day to remember!¡±

    Clive leaned back, completely content. ¡°Indeed. Speaking of tomorrow, I wish to get some rest before it. Goodnight?¡±

    ¡°Goodnight!¡± chorused the warriors and strode off into the woods to give Clive some quiet while they sparred.

    Clive closed their eyes and rolled away from the dying campfire. And as they drifted off to sleep, they oh so desperately called out to their goddess, praying that she let them see the world like they wished.

    <hr>

    Aomy lay alone on her bed, tossing and turning. The relief from saving the dwarves had faded and the doubts had truly began to settle in. Was she in the right making sapiapods marginally stronger to other races? Was she truly to blame for the condition of the dwarves? Was she¡­ was she responsible for their deaths?

    There should be no way a prayer reached her. No system was in place to do so. But as she doubted herself, she subconsciously reached out for voices, the people from her world who would give her feedback. And a faint voice hit her.

    It was the voice of a hufolk. An androgynous voice, that Aomy remembered matched their face, from a small village that had made her feel loved. It asked to travel, to see the world, and Aomy remembered her own desire to see the world that had led to that village. Sure, it had been mostly justified as an attempt to clear her head at the time, but Aomy had just wanted to see the country Loma had made, and so, perhaps their situations were similar.

    Besides, that village held the memory of the one time since becoming trapped in her new world that Aomy had felt remotely worthy of her position. She smiled. Granting the ability to ride horses faster was hardly going to violate her contract now, was it?

 1.14: The Personal Logs of Scientia and the Diary of Krisish Karn

    Personal Log 12

    Excelsian date 03/01/00

    Estimated Earth date 23/02/2022

    Research into the lives of sapiapods.

    20:36

    And so, it is time to move from the dwarves to sapiapods. A curious race. Despite my best attempts I fail to unearth Aomy¡¯s inspiration for such a creation. Undoubtably, races of bugs exist across fiction, yet from my memory they are typically emphasised as alien and inhuman, or otherwise follow the standard fantasy trope of taking a real-world creature and anthropomorphising it.

    These beings seem to fit neither category. When upright, they seem almost fully human (or, I suppose, fully dwarf given their short stature), with the notable exceptions being the mandibles, grey skin, carapace and insectile legs covering their front. While these deviations are notable, they are not any stranger than I would expect to see from mutated humans in a science-fiction or apocalypse story. In fact, off the top of my head, I could identify far more monstrously mutated humans from shows such as Professor When.

    Their backs are fully straight, more bipedal than some anthropomorphised creatures such as the lizardfolk of trading card game, Sorcery Gathering. Their faces are incredibly familiar, not seeming to mimic any creature except humanity. Again, with mandibles exempted. I am, in fact, constantly surprised by how human they seem. Especially, after witnessing their second form.

    Upon throwing themselves upon their fronts, their humanity is effectively hidden. All that is visible is the lumpy carapace upon their backs and the barest traces of their many small legs holding them above the ground. The change is almost as transformative as that of a lycanthrope, a feat extra impressive as their shifts in form typically require supernatural interference, while the change of the sapiapod is one hundred percent natural.

    Another curiosity is their name. The prefix sapia clearly hails from the Latin ¡°Sapiens¡± meaning wise, most likely inspired by the scientific name for ¡°homo sapiens¡±. However, the suffix ¡°pod¡±, Latin for ¡°foot¡± or ¡°feet¡± is also extremely relevant, owing to the wide-spread knowledge of the phylum ¡°arthropoda¡±, of which beetles and centipedes, the two insects most easily identifiable in the sapiapod, are a member. One wonders if such a name is deliberate. After watching Naturum stumble blindly through Latin, I am inclined to believe it is a happy accident, but a man can dream. I suppose Latin is just like that.

    I have already observed numerous cultural quirks forming amongst the sapiapods. Perhaps unsurprising is their nomadic nature. Owing to the frequency of avalanches caused by Naturum¡¯s hunter wurms, sapiapods have learnt to gather necessary materials from a given oasis and then move on.

    This is not an exclusive trait, however. While the temporary nature of any given geological feature in these caves don¡¯t allow for permanent home construction, some sapiapods have decided to camp lightly in a given oasis and then pack up their few permanent possessions upon hearing the rumblings indicating a collapse. They will then wait in a nearby tunnel with the local fauna until a new oasis forms around them.

    These particular groups of sapiapod are seen as strange by the nomadic sapiapods, who are already developing long caravans, packed with the possessions and pulled by large groups of people working together to traverse the caverns. These caravans also often meet in the tunnels and are beginning to form a shared culture. As many greet each other with tales of places travelled to, a hierarchy of respect is beginning to manifest, with the groups who¡¯ve seen the most interesting things being offered a greater degree of respect.

    The most important takeaway from these observations is that Aomy has learnt from her mistake with the dwarves (and to a lesser extent, hufolk) and has spawned her sapiapods in locations beneficial to their survival (in this instance, oases).

    My favourite observation, however, are the more isolated and unique cultures forming far from this shared culture. For example, one group has intuited the powers of the foresight tortoise, and now huddle around it so they may never fall prey to rock falls or monsters. They have even ascribed religious significance to the creature, and have become staunch followers of Naturum, a rarity in this world that blames her for monsters.

    I shall now more closely observe one specific caravan to gain a deeper insight into the specific lives of the sapiapods and perhaps ascertain specific information on their mental states, especially compared to the dwarves.

    <hr>

    Dear Diary

    Have you ever really really reeaaallllly wanted to talk to someone about something, but they were already there for that something, so they don¡¯t want to listen to you yap on about said something, so you got no one to talk to?

    I have! But we¡¯ve all got these big juicy sources of knowledge in our heads for a reason, so I found a solution in them! I can record my feelings in a diary! The information on diaries is weird, and I don¡¯t know why it specifies that you got to start an entry with Dear Diary, but who am I to question the gods? No one! I¡¯ve had people tell me that more than once when I keep bringing up how trite some parts of the world are.

    ¡°Why are the hunter wurms so needlessly destructive?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t question the gods, Krisish Karn.¡±

    ¡°Why are the names of Rizzelian Snikpopkaputiorthanks so hard to say and spell?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t question the gods, Krisish Karn.¡±

    ¡°Damon¡¯s supposed to be the leader of the gods, but what does he actually do?¡±

    ¡°SHUT. UP. KRISISH KARN.¡±

    I think that one hurt them more than anything else cos they worship Damon, but they only do it cos he¡¯s ¡°the most important one¡±. If he¡¯s actually the leader of the gods, that just makes him responsible for all their mistakes in my opinion.

    Anyway, that¡¯s you introduced to me, now I¡¯ll introduce myself to you! The names Krisish Karn, and I¡¯m a sapiapod woman just freshly born on this little rock we call Excelsior. Although actually we didn¡¯t call it Excelsior. The gods did. I¡¯m going to call it Chair World out of spite and worship the holy chair below us for shits and giggles. Why is that information even included in our heads? Why is a chair falling below us?!

    Whatever. So yeah, I¡¯m Krisish Karn from Chair World and for all I complain, life¡¯s really been really swell. Our caravans just been passing through the tightest little cavern and everyone¡¯s just so excited about it. Its crazy cramped, crazy dark, its like all our wildest dreams came true in an instant.

    Bet we¡¯ll end up the most respected caravan, possibly ever for this. There was a crack in the wall, right, that was sooooo thin, my finger got stuck. Held up the caravan for half an hour pulling it out but even the others admitted it was worth it. I think most were even jealous.

    Only downside is it made Xanus Xarnu smug as shit. Tall bastard suggested we always take the route that goes up if possible, and for a while we just got boring shit and the other caravans flat out took the piss out of us, but it was worth it cos we all took the piss out of Xanus Xarnu. But it took us here, so I guess we can¡¯t do that anymore.

    Oh well. At least there was one moment where he fell off a wagon like he¡¯d been hit by a stalactite, even though nothing was there. Anyway, Holy shit! Everyone¡¯s going crazy! Apparently we¡¯ve found something really reaalllly big! Get this. There¡¯s light up ahead. ¡°Like an oasis?¡± you might ask, but no, not like an oasis. The lights red. The only red thing in the underground is that hamster with the unbearably long name. Nothing glowing! We¡¯ve hit something big! Ooh, I¡¯m so excited!

    <hr>

    21:12

    Hmm. A number of revelations gleaned there. Most pertinent is I need to make myself intangible as well as invisible, lest I knock that young man off the wagon again by mistake. Fortunately, no sapiapods really questioned it, most likely as I have also made myself unobservable and uncontactable.

    Other, less personal observations have also been fairly major. The instincts I installed a while back tell me that Krisish Karn will be important to the lore of Excelsior. She may even be close in importance to Clive and Morgrun, although, frankly, I do not see how. I can already see the two forging their respective paths ahead and Krisish Karn simply isn¡¯t. Perhaps she shall change in time. We shall see.

    The collective culture of the nomadic sapiapods seem not to have adopted the common naming practises included as a guideline within Aomy¡¯s knowledge stores. Instead, they give themselves two names, one decided by their caravan, the other decided by themselves. Both typically alliterate.

    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    As always, this trend is not universal, and there is something mildly amusing about finding a strange fantasy creature called simply, ¡°John¡±, but regardless, it interests me. Are there more sapiapods within the nomadic culture which have similar anti-god sentiment to Krisish Karn? Or has their psychology been subconsciously influenced by Aomy?

    I note that dwarves typically have more fantastical, rougher sounding names. Is this because this is what Aomy thinks dwarf naming conventions should be like and thus she accidentally created them to choose such names? Or has their influence in harsh conditions shaped what names they desire to choose? Perhaps in time I shall use my omniscience to learn the answer. I believe that future races introduced to Excelsior may prove one of my theories, so in the meantime, I shall continue investigating manually.

    Now, as suspected by Krisish Karn, I believe this caravan has stumbled across something unusual, as to my knowledge they are right in assuming nothing glows red in the underground. I shall return to observing these sapiapods, now fully incorporeal.

    <hr>

    Dear Diary

    Okay, so Fucking, Xanus HUGE TRAUMA I don¡¯t know how to start WHAT ABOVE THE CHAIR WAS THAT SHIT?!?!?!?! Yeah, that seems appropriate. We were right about finding something big. But the implications¡­ Fuck.

    Our caravan moved towards the red light, and we saw a crack in the walls of the tunnel leading out into chair knew what at the time. It was so thin we all had to dismount and squeeze through one at a time.

    I was one of the last to go and already I¡¯d heard shouts from the other side of the wall. Shouts of fear? Excitement? I couldn¡¯t tell. I forced myself through the slit and in one moment I was within the tight comfort of the wall and the next I was in hell.

    Gone was the reassuring tightness of the caverns. Gone too were the soft glows of torches and glowstone, and the reassuring cool light of the oases was nowhere to be found. Everything was vast. And bright. And red.

    My caravan was huddled together, terrified, shrieking about a storm. I scanned the knowledge in my head for the definition of this strange word and found that we were definitely in a storm. But not any type of storm the gods deigned to warn us about.

    What I learnt were clouds were a dark, dark red, bordering on black. From them came yellow rain that splashed against the rocks harmlessly but stung our skin and not 5 seconds went by before a blisteringly bright red flash of light filled our vision, constantly blinding us.

    Most our troupe had flung themselves onto their fronts and hid, shells to the sky whimpering, but the rest of us saw it. A strange terrifying beauty. The impossible size of the mountain towering behind us, the great open emptiness that contained an alien sky and a seemingly infinite row of mountains like ours. It absolutely was terrifying. And I was scared. But, despite that, the scene was still stunning.

    Then again, Xanus Xarnu looked as captivated as me, so it can¡¯t be that great. He actually had the guts to run forward towards the edge of the plateau we stood on, but before he could make it to the edge and look out, a shockingly red bolt of lightning arced out the sky and struck him on the chest.

    The light blinded us, and once we could see again, we were pretty much collectively snapped out our stormgazing. There was nothing but ash were Xanus Xarnu stood. Not even his shell remained, which I¡¯ve yet to see anything damage.

    Somebody, I don¡¯t know who, ran towards him with a cry and immediately after crossing whatever threshold Xanus Xarnu had passed, the lightning once more smashed into him, leaving nothing but an even bigger pile of ash. Barely seconds passed before the howling winds blew their remains into the valley, leaving nothing left.

    Needless to say, I was pretty shocked. Ha, shocked. Not as shocked as Xanus Xarnu, am I right? I heard the sound of people desperately scrambling into the cave, but I just continued staring at the spot those sapiapods once stood. Until I heard a collective gasp behind me. I turned, and standing there was Xanus Xarnu, completely undamaged. Next to him, the other guy was swiftly reforming from the ash.

    Somehow the storm had reformed them. And while the others had their emotional reunion, I began to test shit, while ignoring their joyous cries. Chucking rocks around I found out that once the storm senses movement in a perimeter around the cave entrance it blasts it. Then, the blasted object returns back to its original position pre movement, in the state it was pre movement.

    We all went back to the caravan after that. A lot of people didn¡¯t care about my observations and told me to shut up like before. I think they¡¯re just scared of the outside. Don¡¯t want to think about what they¡¯ve seen. But those of us who stared into the heart of the storm did listen. Because they knew what it meant. We¡¯re trapped.

    The caverns aren¡¯t infinite. The gods have deigned to give us that information. One day, the caravans will run out of things to discover. I never really thought about that before. But now I know. There¡¯s so much more to be seen, so much more to explore.

    We¡¯ve come to an agreement, mostly spearheaded by Xanus Xarnu. We¡¯re going to find a way out, even if it means splitting our caravan. We¡¯ll chip through the walls and find a place where the storm doesn¡¯t endlessly rage. Fuck the gods for caging us here. We refuse to be trapped.

    <hr>

    21:30

    The hellstorm. One of Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s more interesting contributions to the weather cycle. Designed as a test of strength, one who challenges the hellstorm must endure perpetual rains of a minor acid and avoid bolts of magically enhanced red lightning. If they reach the centre, they are granted an audience with the magic god, and he promises to grant one wish.

    I do not believe the trial was intended to be this harsh. The storm was created to appear over the first area of uninhabitable land created, with the expectation being it would form over a small patch of desert where no life could live. However, due to the enthusiasm of Loma, the storm has instead formed over the majority of the mountain country, due to the fact that most mountains are too tall to support any life and the gods have not designed any life for them, as they have been understandably focused on the underground.

    Thanks to the unexpected size of the storm, as well as the presence of the already tough to traverse mountains, the challenge has gone from merely difficult to something that the technologies of Earth would struggle to conquer.

    This is bad news for Krisish Karn¡¯s sapiapods. They could travel for days and not hit the edge of the storm. If they persevere it is of course possible to leave at the point where the mountains become smaller and more manageable, but for the time being, they are indeed trapped.

    I will continue to follow them for a while, but I doubt I¡¯ll stick around much longer. I will most likely be called to one of Damon¡¯s meetings of the gods. Hopefully Rizzleritchensteineonizziism will be demonstrating magic and I do not wish to miss that. Besides, I doubt much will happen regarding Krisish Karn today.

    <hr>

    Dear Diary

    I was gonna start writing by saying something ominous like ¡°Something strange just happened¡± or ¡°Troubling news¡± but that shits for the rest of the caravan. Something strange did happen, and I guess its troubling, but I FUCKING CALLED IT! The gods are shit!

    I shouldn¡¯t gloat. But I will. Extensively. The caravan is finally giving me the respect I deserve, and you bet I¡¯m abusing it. ¡°But how did this happen?¡± I hear you ask. Well, I don¡¯t. You¡¯re a book. But it¡¯s a good segue, okay?

    We spent several hours chipping away at the rocks, much to the annoyance of the cowardly half of the caravan, but the storm seems to stretch genuinely endlessly. I was getting pretty depressed, when we all saw it. A strange new shape at the end of the tunnel.

    It was roughly sapiapod shaped and kinda floaty, similar to those slime geists some caravan told us about, but unlike them it didn¡¯t glow, and it seemed to be made of some kinda wood. Clutched in its hands were several books and carved into its chest were several shelves just lined in books.

    It placed a tome at the end of a corridor before charging towards us. Like expected a huge old wurm came and gobbled it up before it could reach us, but the book it left behind remained where it was. Naturally, a lot of us were curious, so we headed over.

    Jangrit Josan opened it first, despite my best efforts to claim it. Good thing too, he opened one page, read a bit, went bug-eyed and passed out. He did wake up later, albeit a little crazy. Hopefully he gets over that.

    Now the others were cautious, but I wanted to know what was in that gods damned book, so I snuck a read in anyway. First few pages where some crazy eldritch truths mortals could never comprehend, so I just didn¡¯t try and comprehend them, so they didn¡¯t affect me much. Next few pages had some juicy tidbits stored away in them. Eldritch truths I could comprehend all too well.

    Details on the gods incompetence, for instance. And my word, was their so much more than I could have ever expected. That storm, the wurms, Damon¡¯s existence, all of it nothing in the grand scheme of their infinitely flawed world.

    Although I suppose grand scheme gives them too much credit. The book even alleges they regularly commit acts of deliberate cruelty. The monsters made by Naturum. The evil dwarves made by Aomy which had to be purged of the underground. And the intended torture device of the hellstorm made by Rich. No doubt what we are trapped under.

    Granted, the books not all good. It says to build a better world we have to burn the old one down, which is pretty extreme. I live in the old world, thank you very much, so I ripped that page out before showing it to the others.

    Testing it on Xanus Xarnu first, I confirmed the others could read the truths without conking out and going cuckoo, and with the knowledge it was safe to do so, I shared the knowledge to my caravan. This seemed to convince them the gods are barmy, and now I think I¡¯m leading them?

    I got weirdly charismatic. Made a big speech about how I was gonna triumph over the gods, and damn their intentions, we¡¯d seek out the lands of wide-open terror and piercing brightness that the gods think they can just bar us from.

    And now, somehow that¡¯s what we¡¯re doing. Plus spreading the word to our fellow caravans so we can all work together to triumph over the gods. With me at the head! In all my hours of existence I could never have dreamed of such an occurrence.

    Probably won¡¯t need to write much in you anymore. And I¡¯m probably gonna be too busy to. So, for now, I guess this is goodbye, Diary? See you around! (Mostly in whatever bookshelf I can persuade the others to give me.)

    <hr>

    11:43

    Worrying. Information presented as truths, which are in reality lies, and genuine facts twisted to rouse others to action. In other words, my domain corrupted to serve the whims of another. Eldritch truths indeed. Cursed knowledge.

    If the others ask me of this, they will not be happy. I ponder my duty to tell them myself, but I promised myself to focus on data collection and not interfere. World building should be the responsibility of those with a better track record. I would rather like to not ruin another world.

    The summons to the meeting have been blaring for a while but I did not notice I was so caught up in my obsessions. I hope I have not delayed my arrival long enough to miss out on the group activities we planned to do. That would be a great shame indeed.

 1.15: Spellcrafts Unveiling

    An ibis-headed deity appeared inside a dark throne room and found it empty. The candelabra was unlit, and the only source of illumination came from the moon shining its light through the floor to ceiling windows. The recreated throne blocked this light, casting an imposing shadow upon the red carpet leading to the door and the two tables either side of it.

    Before Scientia could contemplate the absence of his fellow gods, or dwell in the loneliness of this room, a bright ball of light exploded into existence behind him. He shielded his eyes, and once he could see again, he beheld Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. The magic god¡¯s smile stretched off his head made of lightning, both his arm of fire and his arm of water waved about enthusiastically and his whole body shook with energy.

    ¡°Hey, why are you so late!¡± he cried at Scientia. ¡°I was gonna show off magic today and you¡¯ve delayed that by hours.¡± He paused and blinked, confused. ¡°Wait, why¡¯s it so dark?¡±

    A flash of light and a rumble of thunder drew both their eyes to the throne. Sitting upon it was the resplendent Damon.

    ¡°I do not leave the lights on when this room is not in use¡± he announced as he stared down at the others with his signature look of superiority. With a wave of his hand, the room was illuminated by that clinical white light once more.

    Rich stared back defiantly, although both Scientia and Damon could detect faint traces of hesitation in his voice. ¡°Why not? It¡¯s not electricity, god-powered stuff runs forever!¡±

    ¡°Presuming that our powers are truly infinite, of course¡± Damon replied. ¡°Besides, it is polite to turn the lights off upon exiting a room.¡±

    Before this argument could continue further, the doors to the meeting room swung open with a mighty bang and striding through came Naturum, long hair of vines billowing behind her as she walked. Following much more hesitantly behind her was Aomy, her featureless golden face betraying no emotion, but her downcast head and hunched posture suggesting she probably wasn¡¯t as enthused as Naturum.

    ¡°Hey y¡¯all! Guess what? We¡¯re not the latest in this time!¡± Naturum¡¯s happy tone and expression lit up the room far better than any of Damon¡¯s harsh lighting could.

    Scientia swept low, bowing (over)dramatically. ¡°My apologies for my lateness. I was enthralled with my studies.¡±

    Naturum grinned. ¡°No worries bird nerd. Although, it¡¯d probably be smart to not completely vanish all trace of yourself from the world and make yourself uncontactable next time.¡± She scanned the room and noticed the lack of one more familiar face. ¡°Hey, where¡¯s Loma? Are we also not last back?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been here the whole time.¡± The deep, rumbling voice came from a pile of rocks in the corner. They slowly unfurled, revealing a large mountainous man covered in miniature hills and rivers.

    Scientia¡¯s lower beak dropped. Had he really been here this whole time? The shock lasted for merely a second before he remembered this pile of rocks definitely wasn¡¯t in this room before, and this wasn¡¯t some mountainous locale where you could pull this trick and get away with it.

    Loma noticed the varying looks of incredulity and sighed. ¡°Okay, I teleported in a few moments ago. Shall we get on?¡±

    The other gods nodded and voiced their agreements and went to sit down, Loma conjuring his own chair into existence as a precaution. Damon looked to him and nodded.

    ¡°Loma. Why don¡¯t you start today¡¯s meeting by telling us of your accomplishments?¡±

    ¡°Hold it!¡± Naturum cried, green finger pointing toward Damon. ¡°Before anything, I¡¯ll prove you made those monsters that besmirch my name! With this!¡± A contract appeared and flew from her hand and into Damon¡¯s. He looked down, read it, and signed it.

    As he did, Naturum was explaining its contents. ¡°This contract states that if he gave someone else the power to make monsters, including making a person with the power to make monsters, then he has to admit it.¡±

    The group looked up at the smugly silent Damon. But Naturum wasn¡¯t done yet. She conjured a ring and threw it at Damon.

    ¡°Put this on¡± she demanded. Damon looked at the ring with suspicion but hesitantly put it on. The moment it slid onto his finger a green light began to glow from it.

    Naturum frowned. ¡°Okay, that ring detects if people are still under the effect of all god contracts they¡¯ve signed. It glows green if they are. Okay, time for my last resort!¡± She threw another contract at Damon. ¡°Signing this one makes you explain everything you know about the monsters creation. No wriggling out now!¡±

    Dismissively, Damon threw the contract back to her. ¡°This is ridiculous¡± he snarled. ¡°This meeting is late enough as is, and I¡¯m tired of proving my innocence. Exclusively me, I might add. Suspect someone else for a change.¡±

    Naturum glared back at him, determined. ¡°Sign this and it¡¯ll prove you know nothing we don¡¯t.¡±

    Across from her, at the opposite table, Loma smiled reassuringly at Naturum. ¡°Look, we¡¯ll find out what¡¯s causing the monsters. Fighting amongst ourselves won¡¯t help.¡± Naturum glared at him, but before a retort could be made, he began to give a brief summary of how his day¡¯s work went.

    The meeting progressed relatively smoothly after that, Scientia and Naturum also giving summaries of their work. That was, until it was time for Aomy to explain her day.

    Damon turned to her, sneered and said ¡°Now, I believe it was expected that you would create dwarves for the underground. So why are there just a load of bugs running around there now?¡±

    Aomy didn¡¯t look back and continued staring at the table. ¡°I. I fucked up. Tried to make dwarves and I think some died. Had to make something actually adapted to the underground to live there instead.¡± She looked up and her golden face had lost all its shine, leaving little but a dark yellow.

    ¡°I¡¯m terrible. People probably died and it¡¯s all my fault.¡±

    Damon¡¯s face didn¡¯t exactly soften, but he did back out the conversation and let Naturum take over. After all, it would look bad if he didn¡¯t.

    The nature goddess reached out and put a hand on Aomy¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Come on, I¡¯m sure it¡¯s not your fault. I presume you weren¡¯t running around murdering dwarves, right?¡±

    Aomy¡¯s body shuddered, and you could tell that the only reason she wasn¡¯t crying was that her face didn¡¯t have eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t directly kill them. But it¡¯s still my fault they died.¡±

    ¡°What is fault¡± replied Naturum. ¡°And for what reasons can you blame someone for something? Personally, I think it¡¯s only alright to blame someone or yourself for something if it was done willingly. I don¡¯t think you can be blamed for anything.¡±

    Aomy shook her head. ¡°But I should have known. If I was smarter, actually thought about what the dwarves needed, then I could have done better!¡±

    ¡°If back on Earth, someone forced you to do surgery on someone to save their life, and they died, would you blame yourself?¡±

    Aomy thought for a moment. ¡°¡­Probably?¡±

    Naturum rolled her eyes. ¡°But should you blame yourself? Would you blame someone else equally inexperienced for being forced into a situation where they couldn¡¯t save someone?¡±

    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.¡°I guess not.¡±

    ¡°So why blame yourself when you¡¯ve been forced into a more complicated and high stakes position? Absolutely learn from any mistakes made here, but under no circumstances beat yourself up about it. If you¡¯re gonna blame anyone for those deaths, blame that God who brought us here.¡±

    ¡°Mmm. Maybe.¡± Aomy¡¯s voice still shook with emotion, and she didn¡¯t sound entirely convinced, but it was progress.

    Naturum forced herself to smile brightly at her friend. ¡°Well, after this we¡¯re definitely going to get together and play games like we planned yesterday. You need the distraction!¡±

    Loma sighed and replied ¡°As much as I¡¯d like to join you, I really need to sleep. Hopefully everyone else is up?¡±

    Naturum smiled. ¡°I thought about that while Scientia was taking his time getting here. You don¡¯t need to sleep, you just like doing it cos its better psychologically, so what if we just stop time before your bedtime and play then?¡±

    Loma blinked. ¡°I thought we were banned from time travel?¡±

    Naturum¡¯s smile widened. ¡°This isn¡¯t time travel cos we¡¯re not going back or forwards in time. In fact, time completely stops travelling!¡±

    Now Loma smiled back. ¡°Then I¡¯d love to join. Let¡¯s finish this meeting quick so we can do that. Rich, what have you done today?¡±

    For a moment Rizzleritchensteineonizziism was silent. He vaguely recognized the question, but he continued staring at the dejected Aomy, his heart aching for the only member of what would become The Seven who took the time to learn and consistently say his name. But then, his face hardened. She needed a distraction? Perfect. He was awesome at distractions.

    With a sudden flash of light, the group of gods no longer sat at the desks of Damon¡¯s throne room and now stood in a huge room of white squares, with black outlines, all of equal length and width, and all lining every inch of floor, wall and ceiling.

    ¡°For too long have you kept me from explaining magic!¡± the magic god¡¯s wild voice cried. ¡°And I suspect you made me explain my day last as a cruel prank!¡± His body had begun to swell and grow, until he towered over the other gods, all of them shielding their faces from the wind blown about by his tornado lower half. ¡°But no more! It is at last time! FOR SPELLCRAFT¡¯S UNVEILING!!!¡±

    He practically screamed that last sentence before popping back to his original short size. He noted Aomy¡¯s body language, seemingly significantly shocked out of her depression and grinned. ¡°So, who wants a demonstration!¡±

    Naturum looked around the room, eyes full of wonder. ¡°Rizzlerich, what is this place?¡±

    He stared incredulously at her. ¡°This is just my test room. It¡¯s one of the rooms on my island.¡±

    ¡°But I, um. On the outside, that huge swirl of magic I¡¯m pretty sure is smaller than this room¡± mumbled Aomy.

    Rizzlerich deflated. ¡°But magic¡± he thought to himself. ¡°Why do they only care about my testing room when I¡¯ve got magic?¡±

    For a moment all that could be heard was Scientia furiously scribbling in his notebook before that too stopped. ¡°I would quite like to observe magic, mighty one.¡±

    Immediately Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s eyes lit up and he cried ¡°Yeah! Watch this!¡± A purple glowing rock appeared in one hand and he yelled out ¡°RIZZLEFIRENSTEINEOBALLISM!¡± A ball of fire began to grow in his other hand, ironically, the one made of water, before he lobbed it. It sailed through the air until it crashed to the ground with a mighty explosion.

    The chaotic god triumphantly let out an equally mighty ¡°WOO!¡± as Naturum began to clap, followed by Aomy.

    Scientia began his lightning-fast note taking once more, before asking ¡°And may you explain how it all works?¡±

    ¡°Sure! To do magic, you need three things! One, spell name, the easiest thing cos they all have a pattern you¡¯ll probably guess by the end of this demonstration. Two! A sufficient power source! To ensure everyone can do magic equally, humans and other non-magic creatures do not have innate magic! Instead they need a magic source, like this mana rock I planted all over Excelsior without Loma¡¯s permission! They lose power when next to each other to prevent hoarding! Finally, the bit that requires studying, each element and spell shape needs you to learn a certain brain muscle movement!¡±

    Without stopping his ardent writings, Scientia asked ¡°What do you mean by quote, ¡°brain muscle movement¡±?¡±

    ¡°Hmm. Dunno how to explain it.¡± Rizzleritchensteineonizziism made another mana rock appear in his hand and tossed it to Scientia. ¡°Use your all-knowing-ness to download the information from god-internet into your brain and cast a spell.¡±

    Scientia didn¡¯t look up from his note taking so the rock sailed lazily into his face and then to the floor. Frowning, Scientia put down his notes and picked up the stone. ¡°Rizzlelightningensteineoboltism.¡± His voice was just as dramatic as Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s, although it was at a much lower volume. He thrust his hand forward and a bolt of lightning burst from his hands, fizzling out before it could continue indefinitely and hit the wall of this impossibly vast room.

    His feathers stood on end, and his eyes widened, indicating a significant degree of appreciation for Rich¡¯s spellcraft. But then he frowned again. ¡°You are right, these movements are hard to describe. Like moving a limb, you previously never had, or a muscle in your brain. Are you confident mortals can learn these techniques?¡±

    Rizzle aggressively nodded his head. ¡°I gave all mortals instincts for eldritch limb movements without Aomy¡¯s permission.¡± He grinned cheekily. ¡°Sorry!¡±

    Damon sneered yet again. ¡°Is there anything else you¡¯ve done behind our backs?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! I graffitied your castle when you weren¡¯t looking!¡± Damon¡¯s brows furrowed and he took an aggressive step towards Rich, who backed away and cried ¡°Ah! Not again!¡±

    He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Naturum smiling down at him. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, he can¡¯t do anything because of the contracts, you¡¯re safe. More importantly. Are you making people say your name as a magic spell?¡±

    Loma¡¯s jaw hung open. ¡°Oh god. Forget learning inhuman muscle movements, all potential wizards are going to struggle just pronouncing their spells!¡±

    Rich stuck his tongue out at the mountain god. ¡°Feature, not a bug! This adds an extra layer of skill to magic duels, you gotta say tongue-twisty words fast.¡± He turned to Naturum. ¡°And yeah! This way no one¡¯s gonna forget my name! It¡¯s like the coolest signature ever!¡±

    ¡°Anyway, bored of questions now! Last part of demonstrations! RIZZLEWATERENSTEINEOPULSEISM!!!¡± A wave of water sprung up around the magic god and pushed the other gods back as they cried out and slipped over.

    Rizzlerich grinned and shouted ¡°And now to unveil the true beauty of my magic system! Its infinite customisability! TIME TO DRY OFF!!! RIZZLEFIRENSTEINEOPULSEISM!!!¡± A wave of fire, near identical to the water wave washed over the gods, deliberately powered with a smaller mana rock so it wouldn¡¯t violate the no hurting each other contract.

    Scientia looked down at his notebook and let out a sigh of relief as he recalled making it water (and just about everything else) proof. ¡°I presume all elements can be matched with all forms of magic?¡± he quired.

    Rizzlerich nodded. ¡°Yup! Everything I¡¯m gonna add is all gonna mix together. And that¡¯s not all! Watch this! RIZZLEFIRENWATERNEOBALLISM!!!¡±

    A ball of fire and water appeared in his hand. Immediately they mixed together to make a steam sphere, which he then lobbed like he¡¯d done with the fireball. Upon impacting the ground, it burst, releasing a great steam cloud, working as a fairly effective smoke bomb.

    Naturum oohed appreciatively. ¡°And you¡¯re going to make all elements mix and match?¡±

    ¡°Yup! Some won¡¯t do much, like fire and lightning, and some will probably counteract each other, but I¡¯m gonna make sure there¡¯s maximum customisation and possibilities. Once I¡¯ve added enough elements, anything will be possible, and mortals will surely exceed all our expectations! Woo!¡±

    He paused for a moment. ¡°Although that does mean that balancing each element so they work right will get harder and harder. Like, to make that steam ball work I had to balance it so it steamed on impact, before if you made a steam ball it just went off in your hands. But still, worth it! And who wouldn¡¯t want to work on magic forever!¡± His eyes gleamed and his grin stretched past the confines of his head. ¡°Anyway, demonstration over. Videogame time!¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± cried Naturum who was completely swept up in Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s antics and conjured 50 party poppers into existence behind her, which all went off simultaneously. Aomy¡¯s face glowed brighter, and Loma rubbed his hands together excitedly. One by one, the gods teleported to Loma¡¯s home, their grievances and sadness temporarily forgotten, each in turn entranced by Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s relentless energy.

    All except Damon, who stayed behind in the testing room, frowning. ¡°I hadn¡¯t dismissed the meeting yet¡± he hissed.

 1.16: Thats Three Universes, But Whos Counting?

    Floating in the void of a new universe, silver wings unfurled, and handsome face twisted by arrogance, was Damon, God of Evil. In this universe there was nothing but him. No suns, no moons, no planets, plants or other people. For the universe he stood in was not Earth¡¯s. Nor was it Excelsior¡¯s. He stood in a new universe of his own creation, a blank slate of a world to be moulded by his will.

    Or perhaps it was merely a new plane of existence within Excelsior¡¯s universe. The boundaries between universes were hard to ascertain. This was, in truth, half the reason Damon created this new existence. It was time to test the limits of his divinity.

    One fact he knew is that he was not truly omnipotent. He could not travel between Excelsior and Earth, a limitation presumably placed by the being calling itself ¡°God¡± who brought them here. Or, were all forms of travel between worlds merely beyond their power?

    He¡¯d tried to travel to a universe separate from Earth or Exclesior and nothing had happened. However, given the fact he didn¡¯t know if there were other universes beyond the ones he¡¯d visited, that told him little. And so, mimicking God, he made a new universe and travelled to that.

    And thus, this new void was born, with Damon floating within it. He surveyed his domain of nothingness and concluded that he most likely had the power to travel between worlds, with travel to Earth limited by an even higher power. Now it was time to find out if he was truly omnipotent beyond his God imposed limitations, or if his divinity only awarded him power beyond what mortals could ever imagine.

    He closed his eyes and began to draw all the power he could possibly draw from within himself. He shaped it, moulded it and then released it. A huge pulse of brick red fire burst from him in all directions, occasionally settling in place and burning as if it was atop a fuel source.

    The self-appointed leader of the gods opened his eyes to witness dark flame stretching endlessly as far as the eye can see. If he was truly all powerful, his fire would stretch into infinity, as if he had truly infinite power, then his reach should be limitless.

    He smiled. Imagine that. Achieving what mankind had always dreamed of and leaving your mark on existence in a way that is truly infinite and everlasting. He began to laugh, and upon noting how normal it sounded he strained to add a bit of villainous mania into it. He shut his eyes once more and reached out with his godly senses to find-

    Oh. There reached a point where the fire ran out and no longer burnt. He was encased within a sphere of flame, admittedly hundreds of thousands of millions of miles long, but not all existence within this universe was on fire. The powers of The Seven are limited. Abruptly, his laughter ceased.

    Concerned, he decided it was time to once more repeat the experiment, now with yellow flame. He drew power from within and again unleashed it upon his universe of fire. It spread out across this new world like before and now he found that it stopped well before his red flame did.

    He frowned. Evidently his powers recharged, and quite quickly too, but they were capped at a certain point and didn¡¯t recharge immediately. Normally, when making a world like The Seven were, you would be unlikely to ever reach this limit. But it was a limit.

    Now, Damon began to think. It could be assumed his fellow gods were also limited as he was, but were their strengths equal? In a world of gods with finite strength, would it be possible to exert ones will over another?

    This needed more experimentation. He could ask¡­ no. But maybe¡­ Rich? He¡¯d like the big explosions of multi-coloured fire and Damon had briefly brought up the possibility of The Seven not being truly all-powerful to Rich last meeting.

    Utilising his divine power, he detached his senses from his physical body and sent them to Rich¡¯s location. They left his own personal universe and began to float through Excelsior to the mountain home of Loma. And once there¡­

    Well. Damon found he really didn¡¯t want to enter. Despite the lack of a body, the position of his senses made him feel like he was really there. And because of said senses, he was fully subjected to the sensory overload of the sights and sounds emanating out the cave mouth. He wasn¡¯t even fully inside! Just what the hell was going on in there?!

    Cautiously he sent his senses further and further in, dimming his sight and weakening his hearing until at the heart of the cave he found his fellow gods, all clearly in as much pain as he had been. Controllers in hand they were all clearly playing something, although whatever it was seemed impossible to discern as the television screen in front of them at the first glance seemed to exclusively display bright flashes of blinding multicoloured lights, explosions of colour and blared nothing but the first twenty seconds of some upbeat anime OP before switching to another equally ear-piercing track.

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism was of course the exception to the gods pain, the only one whose face was not scrunched up and squinting at the screen. He pressed buttons much faster than the others and if you took note of the TV, it would briefly display his precise inputs and then the word ¡°Combo!¡± followed by a series of digits. The screen would then flash, display an explosion, or change tracks.

    If you then completely put away all rationale and common sense and truly scrutinized the screen, looked between the lights and ignored the sounds, you would be able to see just an entirely normal game show set up, all contestants not yet having answered the question, presumably because they hadn¡¯t been able to read it yet, amidst all the chaos.

    Above the game show were the scores of all five of the contestants, most extremely low, other than Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s, which slowly increased every second a player didn¡¯t answer, then increased further when it was revealed a player answered wrong.

    Damon would have rolled his eyes if his sight was connected to his body. Evidently his fellows had decided to play Scientia in a trivia game, but to try and nerf him and entertain Rich, they¡¯d given the magic god the task of distracting the other players via the flashy effects he so loved. It was clear they¡¯d underestimated his limits somewhat.

    Damon¡¯s mind began to waver as he stared at the screen, its brightness drawing him in, and just for a moment he became vaguely invested in the gods valiant attempt to defeat Rich¡¯s godlike talent for explosions, mayhem and twitchy button inputs.

    ¡®NO!¡¯ Damon cried internally, as he dragged his sight away from the game. He had to focus. Or leave. Did he even need Rich? An entire universe only he knew existed could be used as a great trump card in his schemes. But what could he do as an alternative? Of course! He could just his use divine powers to know whether each god was stronger, weaker or equal in strength to him, considering they still presumably made him close to omniscient. Satisfied, he prepared to move his senses back to his skin. Then Rich¡¯s head snapped round to stare right at him.

    Damon jerked his senses back to his body and found it to be already screaming.

    ¡®WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?¡¯ his inner voice screamed. It wasn¡¯t a nice snap, it was a full, horror movie 180-degree twist. How did he know where he¡¯d been? Why did he do that? ¡®See, this is why I don¡¯t work with him¡¯ Damon thought. ¡®He¡¯s terrifying!¡¯

    But at least he was gone Damon reassured himself.

    A huge boom echoed behind him with an all-consuming yell of ¡°HEY!¡± If Damon was ever aware of someone telling their friends, family, or an audience of readers of this moment, he would have stressed they say he did not scream. He merely yelped. Rizzle, however, took one look at the fire all around him and shamelessly screamed his lungs out.

    Vanishing in an equally loud bang, Damon was left watching the spot Rizzleritchensteineonizziism had appeared in with mounting dread until a thunderous crash echoed just out of sight to his left. No hypothetical storyteller could ever be convinced not to call the screech that leapt out Damon¡¯s mouth anything but a scream. The god of evil whipped around to face his tormentor.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    And then found he was dressed head to toe in authentic firefighter garb, shivering with pure terror.

    ¡°You tried to kill me!¡± Rich yelled, finger pointed accusingly at Damon. ¡°You tried to burn me alive! Trick the contracts with indirect murder! VILLAIN! I¡¯LL NEVER DIE!!!¡±

    Damon stared incredulously back, shock swiftly dissolving. ¡®This is ridiculous.¡¯ He thought. ¡®His bodies made of energy! His arms made of fire for god¡¯s sake!¡¯

    He coughed into his silver hand and drew himself back up into his usual regal stance.

    ¡°You must be mistaken¡± he snarled. ¡°I didn¡¯t even remotely try to summon you here.¡±

    Rich grinned, albeit quite shakily. ¡°No need. I think Loma didn¡¯t like contacting me the first time cos I accidentally yelled into his head a little. So, I meddled with my brain, so it alerts me when someone needs me. Cool right?!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re insane¡± Damon replied, sneering. ¡°Turn that off immediately, l never want to accidentally summon you again.¡±

    ¡°Nope!¡± came Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s joyous reply, fear slowly being forgotten. ¡°So, what is this place if not my death trap?¡± His eyes started to gleam as he took in the area around him.

    ¡°If you must know it¡¯s a new universe I made to test my powers. It was not open to the public¡± If looks could kill, Damon¡¯s glare could quite appropriately kill a deity. Rizzleritchensteineonizziism would have been safe however because he wasn¡¯t paying enough attention to see it.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t asking you.¡± The magic god cocked his head to one side curiously. ¡°And you¡¯re wrong. It¡¯s just another plane in the Excelsior universe.¡±

    ¡°How could you possibly know that?¡± Damon spluttered.

    Rizzlerich grinned ¡°I don¡¯t. But from what I know about your new plane I don¡¯t think its separate enough to be its own universe.¡±

    ¡°And how do you know anything about the universe I just created¡± the evil god snarled.

    Now Rizzlerich met his stare, and his deadpan expression perfectly countered Damon¡¯s god slaying leer. ¡°I¡¯m omniscient. Duh.¡±

    Damon paused for a moment. But he was not one to lose face easily and retorted ¡°Actually, we¡¯re not. We have no knowledge of Earth after our summoning, proving we are not, in fact, all knowing¡±

    Rich shrugged. ¡°Mm. Maybe. So, why¡¯d you summon me here?¡±

    Damon¡¯s glare intensified, a truly magnificent feat given its already masterful display of murderous intent. ¡°I. Didn¡¯t.¡±

    Rich ignored him as his eyes glazed over. ¡°Ooohhhh, cool! Expel all your energy as a huge explosion of coloured magical flame which will stick in place regardless of the need for fuel or surface! Dunno why you needed me for that cos your mind seems unreadable, but I¡¯m happy to test my powers if it means a biiiiiiiiiig boom!¡±

    ¡®That bastard tried to do WHAT?¡¯ Damon thought as he became very glad he¡¯d protected his thoughts from intruders as an early precaution in his schemes. Out loud he replied ¡°Well, I considered asking you to repeat the test in a new colour to determine whether one god contained more power than the other. However, without your help I realised that that was unnecessary-¡°

    ¡°Shhh Shh Shh¡± Rizzleritchensteineonizziism reached across and planted a heavily gloved finger on Damon¡¯s face. ¡°Repeat the test, test the limits of gods, blah blah blah, got it. You may want to stand back or flee this universe entirely!¡±

    Damon¡¯s face paled and he swiftly teleported his physical form to his castle in Excelsior while keeping his senses glued firmly on the antics of Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. The god with the long name began gathering power, noticeable thanks to the completely unnecessary chanting and hand waving before expelling it all in a burst of bright purple flame.

    Damon sent his senses racing alongside the explosion, watching as the purple spread beyond the limits of his yellow flame, then further still just barely crossing the border between his dark red fire and complete nothingness.

    Panic began to consume him as the implications of this quickly became apparent. Rich was stronger than him! He tried to reassure himself that the difference in strength was minor and Rich¡¯s fire just barely eclipsed his own but the more he thought the more he realised the difference was only minor on the incredible cosmic scale of their powers and in reality, you could fit a planet the size of Earth anywhere there was only purple fire. Rich was a whole Earth stronger than him!

    Damon reappeared before Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, face somehow paler than when he¡¯d first teleported away. The magic god looked up at him, eyes literally sparkling.

    ¡°Did I do good? What do we test next?!¡± he excitedly cried.

    ¡°Nothing!¡± Damon cried back. ¡°I never needed you here! Please, like you said, I can just use my limited omniscience to know things!¡± He stared in exasperation at Rizzlerich¡¯s puppy dog eyes and almost comical pout. ¡°I mean it. Go away!¡±

    ¡°Fiiiiiine. But let it be known you¡¯re a terrible friend!¡± Damon let out a huge sigh of relief as Rizzleritchensteineonizziism teleported away. But his moment of reprieve was short lived as he once more begun to mull over the day¡¯s revelations.

    Truth be told, they worried him. Why was Rich stronger than him? He searched for those answers in whatever part of his mind was somewhat all-knowing and found that he was stronger because he had more direct worshippers.

    Worshippers? Since when had that been a factor in a god¡¯s strength? Had someone willed this to be so, or had someone simply believed this was how gods should work and subconsciously altered the rules of Excelsior accordingly? Just how much had Excelsior been influenced by unconscious biases? He put what he considered to be unimportant questions out of his mind as he focused on the one big question. How could he use this information to his advantage?

    Because, if he could gain power from worshippers¡­ and if he could transfer his power to others¡­ Oh yes. He rubbed his hands together eagerly. A plan was forming in his mind, a little rough around the edges perhaps, but it was forming nicely.

    <hr>

    When Rizzleritchensteineonizziism returned to Loma¡¯s living room he was somewhat disappointed to find his fellow gods too focused on their game to be shocked by, or even really notice his trademark explosive entrance.

    He was not surprised to see they¡¯d stopped playing ¡°Despair-inducing Do You Want to Be a Billionaire tm¡± as he¡¯d left by letting them know it was now impossible for them to catch up to his score and he was now going to find out why Damon wanted him 5 minutes ago. Now it seemed they were playing some modified version of Antonio Car. He smiled as he settled in and began to watch the nail-biting race of the gods.

    Aomy playing as Princess Poppy was holding the lead, perfectly hugging the corners, and mastering the drifting mechanic but as a trivia question about some historical event she¡¯d never heard of popped up at the top of the screen, her lead became less assured.

    Scientia spoke the answer in his mind, an improvement over button inputs attainable only to those able to psychically communicate to their game system. As he did, Metal Antonio sped ahead of Poppy with a great burst of speed and immediately crashed into a wall.

    This was the balancing the gods had decided on to keep this game fair. Nerfing the least trivia adept god while she played her game of choice with a system that punished those not good at trivia while rewarding the god with by far the worst reflexes with speed boosts and power ups as he displayed his mastery over obsessively collected knowledge.

    Loma¡¯s face scrunched up with intense focus as Wantonio utilised his lesser speed boost from answering correctly second to drift neck and neck next to Poppy in the outside lane. The two characters continued to dance, one gaining the upper hand and losing it just as quickly as Loma¡¯s jack of all trades okayness at both Antonio Car and matters of intelligence kept him perfectly at pace with Aomy¡¯s more focused Car racing skill.

    Before Rizzleritchensteineonizziism could blink the two were zooming toward the finish line, still so evenly matched. There were no more questions. No more corners. Neither had items left. The sound of the room reached a crescendo, Aomy and Loma taunting each other with excited, yelled insults, Scientia groaning as he struggled to manoeuvre himself off a different wall and Rizzleritchensteineonizziism cheering wildly for no one in particular just because he liked making noise.

    Then, all sound was drowned out by a triumphant ¡°WOO!¡± All aforementioned participants turned with dread toward its source to find Naturum grinning as she put her controller down. ¡°Just got a Torpedo Ted¡± she happily explained.

    They all turned back, dread mounting, and saw Yoshee transform into the infamous missile as it barrelled down the track, past the warring Wantonio and Poppy and across the finish line. The room erupted into a chorus of noise, Aomy and Loma yelling in mock anger as the nature goddess got up from her seat and began a triumphant little dance.

    Eventually, the miniature celebration began to die down, and Naturum finally noticed Rizzlerich amongst the other gods.

    She blinked. ¡°Hey, when did you get back?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t notice?! I literally explode when I teleport! I¡¯M THE LOUDEST ONE HERE!!!¡±

    Aomy laughed softly. ¡°Sorry, we er. Must have been really focused I guess.¡±

    Rich folded his arms huffily which had the amusing effect of releasing a load of steam. ¡°I see I have no good friends amongst the gods. I¡¯m going to go party with the mortals now. Goodbye forever.¡±

    Naturum smiled warmly at him. ¡°Oh, come on, don¡¯t be like that. Especially not when we turned items to frantic just for you.¡±

    At this the magic god perked up. ¡°Turn the items to bombs only for one round and I¡¯ll call it even!¡±

    ¡°Deal!¡± replied Naturum as she handed him a controller.

    And so, within their world of frozen time, the gods not still scheming resumed their activities. A truth all of them knew to various extents was being a god was difficult. Often stressful. Full of responsibility. It made this moment so much more glorious for all of them. At last, the gods got some much-needed rest.

 1.17: The Grand Planning Session of Ages Untold

    ¡°Welcome, everyone to our third daily planning session. Before we begin in earnest, I would like to raise a few issues separate from discussions relating to the creation of our third country.¡± A new day had dawned, despite Excelsior¡¯s lack of dawn, and Damon had once more called the gods together for a meeting.

    It was him who was speaking. ¡°Specifically, issues with you Rich. While I will hold myself back from asking you to remove snail rains altogether, I believe it would be excessive for them to fall upon all Excelsior. Please limit them to the countries already created.¡±

    ¡°First, of all, its Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, the First Ever!¡± Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, the First Ever cried. ¡°And second of all, how dare you! D¡¯you know how many immortals prayed to me about specifically that? They¡¯re amazing!¡±

    The two engaged in a silent staring contest for far too long, as for the other gods it was far too early in the morning to be prepared for this shit.

    ¡°Um, how about a vote?¡± Naturum ventured, determined to stop the argument forming. ¡°All those in favour of Rizzlerich, raise your hand.¡±

    A lone indignant hand shot out up above everyone else¡¯s.

    ¡°Near unanimous.¡± Damon sneered. ¡°I believe that resolves that issue quite nicely¡±

    ¡°My artistic vision is compromised! Do you not believe in the visionary ideals of the unrestrained auteur?!¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡± mumbled Loma, who had truly no idea what Rich was even going on about. This wasn¡¯t unique amongst the gods, as Rich was only half sure he knew what he was saying either.

    ¡°On a similar note,¡± continued Damon, ignoring Rich¡¯s outburst and not hearing Loma¡¯s response, ¡°I would also like for you to tell us what you had planned for other atypical weather events, so we can veto them if we decide they are too dangerous, or world disruptive.¡± ¡®In other words, most of them.¡¯ Damon snidely thought to himself.

    ¡°Never!¡± came Rizzle¡¯s predictably chaotic reply. ¡°The surprise is the best bit!¡±

    The staring match once more resumed for a tense three seconds before Naturum spoke up again. ¡°Okay, lets vote again. All in favour of Rizzlerich, raise your hand.¡±

    The magic gods hand shot up, alongside Aomy¡¯s who was still determined to believe Rizzleritchensteineonizziism was more than just mayhem and destruction.

    ¡°Well, still a majority.¡± Damon declared. ¡°Give up your plans, Rich.¡±

    ¡°On this I refuse to compromise!¡± yelled Rizzlerich. ¡°You may steal my secrets over my lifeless bloody corpse!¡±

    There was a loud bang as Damon shoved his chair back, stood up and slammed his hand on the desk. ¡°This isn¡¯t a game Rich, tell us now or-¡°

    The magic god popped out of existence, leaving Damon to once more stare at the spot Rizzlerich once sat, but now with a look of utter incredulity.

    ¡°He just left.¡± He murmured to himself.

    Suddenly his head snapped around to the window. A great rumbling sound was echoing from below the castle and the tables, chandelier, even the chairs the gods sat on began to silently shake. Damon rushed to said window, only for the source of the sound to come rushing past him, visible to all.

    A tremendous torrent of black sand blasted against the glass, causing Damon to jump back. The shape of the sand was twisted and unnatural, forming the shapes of thousands of screaming souls. Despite the lack of any voice box, the gods in the room clamped their hands to their ears as the sands audibly screamed outside. To their horror, they found this did nothing. The sand wasn¡¯t screaming aloud. It was screaming into their minds.

    ¡°What the hell is this?!¡± screamed Damon, looking as furious as the sandstorm.

    ¡°Why does everything he does have to be so loud.¡± moaned Loma

    ¡°It looks like we¡¯re getting a preview of Rich¡¯s next bit of weird weather.¡± Naturum looked to the others with slightly less despair on her face despite the noise. ¡°A psychic screaming soulsandstorm¡±

    ¡°Such sweet sibilance¡± whispered Aomy, aiming for Naturum to be the only one to hear her, but thanks to the piercing shrieks of the storm, no one heard her.

    With a snarl, Damon swiped his hand across the air and for a moment the storm ceased. Within moments however, it raged once more, now harder and with even louder screams. No matter how hard Damon fought, he found he couldn¡¯t affect the sandstorm. Rich was imposing his will over his! All because Rich was stronger!

    Damon¡¯s silver face was turning red from exhaustion, desperately pushing back against Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s indomitable strength, when all of a sudden¡­ silence. The leader of the gods almost didn¡¯t notice at first as he was still pushing against the storm that was clearly still raging, but regardless there was silence.

    A cough interrupted the shocked quiet of the gods. ¡°Ahem. I have constructed a barrier around this chamber in which no sound, real, psychic or otherwise can permeate. The meeting may now resume!¡±

    Damon glared incredulously at owner of that grand and impressive voice. The ibis-headed Scientia stood, arms spread wide. He nodded to each of the gods in turn before dramatically sweeping himself back into his seat. Damon continued glaring. Was Scientia stronger than Rich? When he asked his omnipotence the same question and got the answer no he isn¡¯t, the angelic god realised something.

    ¡®Scientia isn¡¯t stronger than Rich. He is merely solving the sandstorm problem in a way Rich didn¡¯t expect, so Rich isn¡¯t exerting his will over Scientia¡¯s¡¯

    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

    Answer found satisfactory, he began to resume the meeting. ¡°Unfortunately, the source of our interruption was also what I planned to continue discussing. That being currently impossible, I say we move on to the next pertinent topic. Namely that of planning our third country, as established before. I propose we complete the standard fantasy trifecta, so long as Aomy can stay focused this time and not throw some half-baked bizarre other race upon Excelsior.¡±

    He didn¡¯t like Aomy¡¯s very real look of guilt and curious as to why for a moment, he paused. He dismissed the worryingly possible possibility he felt bad for her and settled on the conclusion he just simply preferred getting a rise out of people. See look, there was Naturum giving him the stink eye, and that was simply delectable.

    Satisfied once more, he continued. ¡°Let us bring forth a great forest country which we shall fill with elves.¡±

    A familiarly jarring boom echoed across the room. ¡°What?! Boring! Overdone!! Only marginally better than dwarves!!!¡±

    Loma moaned and smashed his mighty stone head upon the table. Barely a minute had passed and already, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism had returned.

    ¡°Must you do this every time we decide upon a people to add to Excelsior?¡± Damon sneered down at the magic god.

    ¡°Until you stop deciding upon lame, garbage, fantasy tropes! What even are the point of these meetings? Just let Aomy come up with her own stuff. Then we get stuff that¡¯s almost as interesting as my stuff!¡±

    He looked around the room for support and found none. Even Aomy¡¯s featureless golden face had clouded with shadows which was amusingly much easier to interpret than her human guarded facial expressions.

    ¡°You disagree?¡± asked Rizzlerich, almost challengingly.

    ¡°Oh um. Well, in part, having an existing template to draw on is, um, helpful, I guess? A good starting point. But, um, mostly.¡± The expressive expressionless goddess drew in breath. ¡°How dare you! Dwarves are way cooler than elves!¡±

    Rizzlerich¡¯s eyes bugged out of his head, before snapping back in as he grinned wider than his thin head should allow. ¡°They are not! Elves are magical! Mystical! Their ancient lives allows for imaginative cultures! Dwarves are nothing more than greedy little cavern babies!¡±

    The shadows swirled excitedly on Aomy¡¯s face, and the still golden portions glowed brighter. ¡°Dwarves feel more ancient and mystical without being pretentious little shits!¡±

    Rizzlerich¡¯s arms flailed wildly. ¡°They do not!¡±

    ¡°Well, then someone hasn¡¯t listened to Over the Misted Mountains in far too long¡±

    ¡°Ha! That low, slow, droning trash?! Diggy Diggy Hole is the only good dwarf song AND I SHALL NOT HEAR A WORD TO THE CONTRARY!!!¡±

    The other gods were clearly getting very invested in this argument. Naturum was giggling to herself, stoic Loma had leaned forward in excitement, Damon hadn¡¯t ruined it by interrupting the meeting and Scientia¡­ Well, he¡¯d been rarely invested in the meeting at all and was still scribbling a load of irrelevant lore into his notebook, but he was an exception not the rule.

    ¡°At least we have a best song¡± retorted Aomy. ¡°Name literally any song about elves!¡±

    There was a long pause. ¡°Toss a Coin to Your Witch, is technically about elves.¡±

    Aomy actually reverted back to her generic human form just to raise her eyebrow incredulously.

    ¡°Okay, fine! But elves don¡¯t all speak in a comical accent!¡±

    Aomy gasped. ¡°That¡¯s the best bit!¡±

    Rizzlerich thrust a pointed finger of flame toward Aomy. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t say that if you were Scottish!¡±

    Still human, Aomy blinked, before changing back to her impassive god form. ¡°Are you Scottish?¡±

    ¡°No. Dwarves are always traditional. Do you like things being traditional? Ever stagnant and unchanging? No! Strive ever upwards! Societies exist to be improved!!!¡± The magic god grinned and folded his arms in victory.

    ¡°Sorry, is being traditional the sticking point? Can you claim elves aren¡¯t traditional? And worse. Elitist?¡±

    Rizzleritchensteineonizziism threw himself back, eyes wide, mouth agape in a truly Legend Lawyers worthy parody of shock.

    Then he drew himself back and began to mumble. ¡°Mm. Both traditional. Re-evaluating priorities¡± Then he grinned and his eyes literally blazed because he was a god and could turn his eyes to fire whenever he wanted.

    He stuck his hand of water out and asked ¡°Gnomes?!¡±

    After a moments pause Aomy nodded and shook his wet, uncomfortable hand. ¡°Gnomes¡± she confirmed. Rich grinned wider than he ever had before and Aomy¡¯s face glowed an almost painfully radiant light.

    ¡°Woo!¡± cried Naturum who began wildly throwing confetti into the air and Loma smiled to himself. It was testament to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism¡¯s incredible sources of energy that he¡¯d managed to excite almost the whole room like that. Naturally, now Damon decided to ruin the mood.

    ¡°While I confess this has been¡­ fun¡± he admitted. ¡°I trust we may resume our meeting?¡±

    ¡°If we must¡± came Loma¡¯s rumbling voice with definite traces of disappointment in it.

    ¡°Can I infer that despite this ruckus, we can proceed with creating elves?¡± Damon continued uncaringly.

    ¡°I, um. Well.¡± The energy was swiftly draining out Aomy and her face began to redden. ¡°I think¡­ I¡¯d rather make gnomes now?¡± She glanced to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism for support who enthusiastically thumbs-upped her.

    Damon¡¯s eyed narrowed. Sensing the room, he decided the next play was risky, but he saw few alternatives beyond throwing his weight around and further vilifying himself too soon. ¡°In that case, shall we vote. All in favour of elves before any other suggestions?¡±

    His own hand raised, and he breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Scientia and Loma¡¯s hands raised as well. ¡°As the room is split, I, as leader of the gods, shall make the final call. Now, I decree we set forth and build the forest home of the elves!¡± He smiled. Who ever said that a little throwing around your weight wasn¡¯t wrong?

    His smile fade as a timid voice spoke up. ¡°Um. No.¡± The golden faced goddess was practically shaking but she still resolutely stared back at Damon.

    Now his eyes narrowed. ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    Aomy looked to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism for more support and without lowering his first thumbs-up, he repeated the gesture just as enthusiastically with his other hand. ¡°On this I refuse to comprimise!¡± she cried. ¡°You can make elves over¡­ um. I might do that tomorrow. But today is for the gnomes!¡±

    Damon slammed his chair back again and rose intimidatingly, but before he could say anything Rizzlerich called out ¡°This is the part where we run!¡± So saying he vanished with a bang.

    Aomy looked across at the furious leader of the gods. ¡°Eep!¡± she yelled before disappearing to who knew where.

    Damon continued fuming for a moment before he sighed. ¡°Those remaining, please continue to make a forest. Meeting dismissed.¡±

 1.18: Boredom of the Earth God and Aomys Struggle

    A colossal figure towered over all creation, a being so large that even the mightiest of the mountains he¡¯d created failed to reach his vast size. He was so huge he could barely even see the immortals and hufolk who gazed upon him in awe. The being was Loma, God of Geography and as he surveyed his progress on his third daily country, he sighed. It was entirely possible Loma, shaper of landmasses conjurer of mountains and father of almost all habitable space was¡­ Well. Bored.

    His hands stretched out and more and more land began to unfurl beneath him, a feat he knew should inspire awe within himself as he fulfilled the ultimate power fantasy only gods could ever dream of making reality.

    But it was all so¡­ flat. Much flatter than his last country. Even flatter than his England copy. The entire country was intended to be one biome, essentially, all a forest and while forested mountains can and do exist on Earth, Loma was pretty sure this wasn¡¯t what the other gods were going for.

    Besides, not every country could have multiple Everest sized mountains within it. So, it was smart to learn restraint and not experience the transcendental joy of springing an entire mountain out of nothingness. He¡¯d tried diverting a load of rivers to make a really big lake to take the edge off, but it just wasn¡¯t the same.

    Not that he¡¯d personally describe his actions as taking the edge off, as he was in the midst of refusing to acknowledge he¡¯d peaked on his second country and it would now take a lot more to make him feel as powerful as he did then. After all, he was the sensible one. Solid and dependable, like the reason he¡¯d chosen his name. If he thought a country shouldn¡¯t be mountainous, then flat it shall be.

    ¡®But one mountain couldn¡¯t hurt¡­¡¯ A dark voice whispered in his mind. ¡®It could even be close to Everest sized. As a treat, for all your hard work.¡¯

    Loma didn¡¯t respond. He assured himself he was sensible and endeavoured not to give in to temptation. Calm and logical. There was no way he¡¯d mess things up.

    And there was really no way he¡¯d enter into a dialogue with himself. That would be a really bad sign.

    <hr>

    A colossal tree towered over Aomy and in awe, Aomy stared back up at it. Calling it colossal was hardly an understatement, although perhaps it couldn¡¯t compare to the truly gargantuan height Loma had reached. It had clearly been modelled off the redwoods of Earth, roughly equal to the trees average size, meaning it could happily stand toe to toe with buildings even 10 stories tall.

    The civilisation goddess was pretty sure it wasn¡¯t a redwood though. In her opinion, it looked like an oak grown to enormous height, although, given her limited tree knowledge it could really resemble almost anything. She was fairly certain it wasn¡¯t birch though. That would be noticeable.

    Whatever it was, it was beautiful. Its height wasn¡¯t even the only factor in its beauty, its bark was a lovely shade of brown, it stood so straight and so proud and its leaves caught the light in such a way that even the harshest of poets would struggle to describe it at anything less than the epitome of the phrase sun dappled.

    Aomy was pretty sure she was only staring at it because she was procrastinating. Again. Oh, not that there wasn¡¯t wonder evoked by it, and the forest of equally impressive trees around her, but Aomy found there was only so long you could stare at a tree before you got bored, and your inner voices started yelling at you to just get on already.

    But, somewhat predictably, she really didn¡¯t want to. Oh, sure, she was probably more prepared today than any other day to make a new species of sapients, she¡¯d even gone to the site of their homeland to get a feel for it and plan the race around it, learning from her disaster with the dwarves.

    There were two snags, however. The first being that Aomy had the remarkable talent to procrastinate anything and everything. The second was courtesy of Naturum. The memory of said event flashed once more before Aomy¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°Hey Aomy!¡± the nature goddess appeared from nowhere, causing the subject of her sentence to yelp and fall backwards from a chair she sat upon.

    ¡°Aagghhh¡± the civilisation goddess eloquently replied from her place on the ground.

    Undeterred Naturum conjured a second chair into existence and sat down next to Aomy. ¡°Wow, just got a real sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu. To be fair, I did try and send some knocks to your house, but I never got a reply. Next thing I tried was teleporting straight to you and I did not expect that to work.¡±

    She began to look around, noting the familiar hills and dales of the south of Excelsior¡¯s first country. ¡°Huh. Why the hell are you out here anyway?¡±

    Aomy scrambled back up into her chair. ¡°Um. Well. I thought Damon might come looking for me, so I didn¡¯t go back to my island. Thought it might be, I don¡¯t know, too obvious, or something.¡±

    Naturum nodded. ¡°Ahhhh, makes sense. Don¡¯t think he did end up looking for you, he fucked off after the meeting.¡± She tilted her head to one side, curiously. ¡°Surely he could just teleport straight to you like I did though?¡±

    ¡°When I made this chair, I gave it the special property of obscuring everything from Damon in a 10-metre radius. Hoped that¡¯d shield me from stuff like that.¡±

    Naturum nodded again. ¡°Ahhhh, that also makes sense. Nice spot by the way. Very picnicable.¡±

    ¡°Oh, uh, thanks¡± mumbled the awkward god, who had teleported randomly to this location and its aesthetic appeal was the result of little more than blind luck and the fact that most of Excelsior¡¯s habitable areas were at least relatively nice looking.

    ¡°So, um. Why¡¯d you come out here?¡± she continued.

    The perpetual smile didn¡¯t quite fade from Naturum¡¯s face, although someone scrutinising it could tell it grew noticeably more strained. ¡°Weellllll, I wanted to ask a favour actually. You know how people keep blaming me for the whole monster thing?¡±

    ¡°Mmmhmm.¡± A nod accompanied Aomy¡¯s affirmation.

    ¡°Well, I thought it¡¯d be nice to have a civilisation that actually respected nature, y¡¯know. Sure, that¡¯d have made more sense when we doing elves, but still¡­ I¡¯d do it myself but, well, you are the civilisation goddess¡­¡± The smile had almost fully slipped from Naturum¡¯s face at this point.

    For once the two goddesses looked equally tense and nervous. Each of their shoulders hunched, neither looking directly at the other. After an awkwardly long pause, Aomy spoke. ¡°Yeah, sure. I can, uh, try and tell them that.¡±

    The green goddess brightened back to her full splendour. ¡°Ahhhh, thank me! Ooh, could you also really drive it home that I didn¡¯t make monsters? Like, make it a core part of their belief? Or make them really want to spread that around?¡±

    Aomy, however, hadn¡¯t un-hunched and Naturum finally took note of that.

    ¡°Hey, hold on, are you alright?¡± she asked.

    Hesitantly, Aomy responded ¡°Um, sure, probably? I¡¯m just going to have to make a new script, that¡¯s all.¡±

    Naturum blinked. ¡°Script? What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Well, when I made hufolk, I wanted to persuade them to make their society in a non-destructive way. So, I spent most my time that day writing a script and doing a speech thing.¡±

    Naturum blinked again. ¡°Hufolk?¡±

    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.¡°Oh. That¡¯s my name for humans. Longish story,¡±

    Naturum leaned back in her chair, contemplatively. ¡°Okay, so, the problem is, it takes a while to write a script?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It, er, probably wouldn¡¯t be, but, uh. I. Well, I procrastinate writing it. A lot.¡±

    Naturum shot forward out of her relaxed position, so she was staring excitedly at Aomy. ¡°Well, there¡¯s an easy solution then!¡±

    Aomy began to perk up, slightly. ¡°There is?¡±

    The nature goddess grinned. ¡°Yeah, easy. Don¡¯t write a script!¡±

    Aomy began to perk back down and frowned. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good idea. Have you seen me try and speak normally? It¡¯s even worse in front of lots of people!¡±

    Naturum scratched her head. ¡°Hmm. You do um a lot.¡± Abruptly she clicked her fingers. ¡°Ooh, got it! Record your spontaneous speech solo, so you won¡¯t get stage fright, and, as a bonus, you¡¯ll get multiple tries if you mess up!¡±

    ¡°Nice alliteration¡± mumbled Aomy, who didn¡¯t know if her ¡®such sweet sibilance¡¯ comment had been heard before and didn¡¯t want to repeat herself just in case.

    Naturum leaned back again, now with hands self-assuredly tucked behind her head. She laughed and said ¡°Yeah, wasn¡¯t it? Anyway, what do you say? Ready to speech up some gnomes?¡±

    ¡°Heh. Sure. Although I won¡¯t phrase it like that.¡±

    Naturum grinned. ¡°Glad to hear it!¡± she cried. ¡°Sweet, well, I should probably get on, I have an ecosystem to make. You¡¯ll be alright on your own?¡±

    ¡°Hopefully¡± Aomy replied.

    ¡°Alright. Byyee!¡±

    As she vanished from sight, Aomy¡¯s vision of the past faded and she sighed. So much for spontaneity challenging her procrastination, she was still so consumed by the desire to avoid said speech that she¡¯d apparently rather have random flashbacks than even get to the point where she could actually do any recording.

    Although, to be fair, the block in her mind seemed so much less all-encompassing than before and the situation felt way less dire. She could get on. All she had to do was commit and start. Aomy jumped as a wooden palisade sprung up around the tree in front of her. Spontaneity had worked! She¡¯d started getting on!

    Aomy¡¯s shocked pause lasted long enough for it to count as continued procrastination in its own right, but she shrugged it off and face aglow with wonder continued her project. Several simple huts came into existence inside the makeshift barrier and Aomy deposited various crude bits of weaponry outside them.

    She took a mental step back and admired her humble village. Two proto civilisations suffering due to monsters was apparently what it took for Aomy to learn her lesson and try to prevent the threat of the monsters before they struck.

    Creating the gnomes with defences already set up was stage one of her plan. Stage two? Aomy looked down at the slab of metal with a big inviting red button on it. She hoped she wouldn¡¯t need stage two. It was to be used in emergencies only.

    With village made, it was time to make the gnomes themselves. This should have been a simple task, the knowledge each sapient needed, the providing of which took up the largest chunk of the hufolk¡¯s creation, had already been made. Aomy planned to actually get Scientia to add the specific survival information needed for this country.

    Not by choice, Aomy would rather rely on herself as it meant asking others for less, but Natururm hadn¡¯t made the fauna of this forest yet, so Aomy physically couldn¡¯t do that job right now. Still, it took a while for Aomy to force herself to bring gnomes into existence.

    Doubts swirled and ideas endlessly iterated on themselves until they became contradictory and had to be removed. But, Aomy now had spontaneity on her side. Drawing upon its power once more, she waved her hand and created gnomes based on the rough image she had of them in her head

    She wanted them to be small. Smaller than even the dwarves, and with that in mind created them roughly one quarter the size of a hufolk. She wanted them to be wild and creative, merry pranksters, like their best portrayals in Earth¡¯s media and so, hoping their surroundings may influence their behaviour, she created them coloured every brightly coloured hue of the rainbow.

    With skins of yellow, green, red, blue, even fluorescent pink, Aomy watched Excelsior¡¯s latest sapient species emerge from their pre-made homes. Their hair was huge, chaotic and just as colourful as their bodies, most often appearing the colour opposite their skins on the colour wheel.

    A lump rose in Aomy¡¯s throat. So far, so good, the gnomes looked as she imagined them. But would they act how she hoped they¡¯d act? So long as her convictions remained, that would be the role of the speeches to decide, and she hoped so god damn much that they¡¯d be the good people she prayed they¡¯d be.

    The goddess of civilisations took a deep ineffectual calming breath which was cut short as she, startled, realised she was completely visible, framed perfectly within the gap in the palisade that marked the entrance to the village.

    She quickly magicked herself invisible and began preparing to teleport away, when she stopped. She hadn¡¯t seen her people in their first moments of life before. And she was in the area, why not take a look?

    Hesitantly she poked her head into the village. It was strangely quiet in these first moments of existence. Several gnomes stared at their hands in awe and had Aomy read their minds she would have known they were simply wowed by the sheer concept of their own existence that had suddenly been thrust on them. Others stared up at the tree towering over them, amazed, as Aomy had been by its grandeur.

    Not all seemed so taken in by their creation. Aomy watched a blue skinned ginger gnome stare at a spear left outside their hut. They gulped and began breathing heavily, prompting Aomy to almost do the same as her heart hurt for the gnome, whom she considered her responsibility.

    Before fear could consume her, she was distracted by a commotion. A gnome¡¯s head had snapped down from the tree she had been gazing up at to stare at a green skinned man with a great big, bright pink bushy beard.

    ¡°Ha! You look silly!¡± she cried.

    The man took one look at his tormentor, a yellow skinned girl with purple hair bigger than she was, styled inexplicably like the leaves of a pineapple. ¡°Ha! So do you!¡± he cried back

    Internally Aomy was wincing at their comically stereotypical Irish accents. She must have done that by mistake, like with the dwarves. Still, they seemed a happy sort, which was a good sign. Their personalities were still forming, but already their appearances were having a positive effect on them.

    ¡°Ha! Wish I could see me!¡± cried purple hair.

    ¡°Ha! I wish I could see me too!¡± cried back pink beard.

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    ¡°HA!¡±

    ¡°HA!¡±

    ¡°HAAAAAA!¡±

    Aomy could already see some of the grumpier gnomes looking mighty irritated by the pair¡¯s antics, and if she was honest, Aomy was probably similar.

    ¡°I¡¯m bored. We should do something¡± muttered green skin.

    ¡°Bored? Already? You¡¯re just mad you lost the laugh off! Youuuuuu DOLT!¡± retorted yellow skin.

    The male gnome¡¯s hands flew to his heart in mock outrage. ¡°I¡¯m no dolt! Youuuuu-¡° He paused, and went slightly cross-eyed.

    ¡°Not so quick witted are ya? Youuuuuuu DOLT!¡± the female gnome gleefully exclaimed.

    ¡°OH, THAT DOES IT!¡± With a yell, the target of much ire began to chase his fellow gnome round and round their villages great tree.

    A mumble came from the blue skinned man Aomy had noticed earlier ¡°If we must do something we should be productive. Prepare to fight monsters¡±

    His two competing fellows cartoonishly slid to a halt and glanced at each other warily.

    ¡°Nay, I think not.¡± The first said, stroking his bushy beard wisely. ¡°We have time ¡®till night. If we¡¯re to be productive I say we gather food!¡±

    A great cheer rose up around camp and his partner in chaos nodded sagely. ¡°Well said my friend, well said. Maybe you ain¡¯t such a dolt after all. Youuuu¡­. Tlod.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m no-¡° The gnome who would go on to name himself Tlod began to go bug-eyed again. ¡°What does tlod mean?¡±

    The gnome who would name herself Nincom for reasons that will make sense in the next paragraph smiled and kissed Tlod on the head. ¡°Its dolt backwards. So, it means clever.¡± She grinned and turned to the crowd now assembled around her. ¡°Now let¡¯s get that bread!¡±

    Another cheer consumed the camp, as Tlod turned to face Nincom ¡°We¡¯d need to grow wheat for that. Youuuuu nincompoop.¡±

    Nincom grinned and clapped happily. ¡°You did it! What a fun mockery!¡±

    ¡°Well, hurry up you two¡± a voice hesitantly interjected. The ginger dwarf of before gestured to the crowds of gnomes already storming out the village on the hunt for berries and meat. ¡°Youuu clods¡± he added with a wry grin.

    Squealing with delight, the trio joined the stampede of smallfolk making their way out their village and Aomy let out an incredibly audible sigh of relief, startling the hell out of the gnome that happened to be passing by.

    They were just how she imagined them. Frivolous, yes. Good hearted, yes. And¡­ Aomy¡¯s golden face glowed brighter as she thought of how else she¡¯d describe them. They were spontaneous. How appropriate! Reassured by all she saw she copied the rough design of the village and pasted it throughout the new landmass, each with a guardian tree, huts, weapons and gnomes.

    Her face¡¯s smile equivalent wavered. Now all that was left to do was the speech. But she could do that, couldn¡¯t she? Although maybe she should check in on the other gnome villages, in case they weren¡¯t successful. Or actually ask Scientia to update the sapient memory banks. Or maybe she should just rest. That pitiful amount of work had been pretty tiring.

    Two hours into the walk she decided to go on, Aomy realised something.

    ¡®God damnit! You¡¯re procrastinating again!¡±

 X.X: Update

    Hello! Two whole months huh? Two wholeass months between the last chapter and this one. Its been a surprisingly good two months considering the lack of updates, fair few people found this story in the interim and left some lovely comments I haven¡¯t repped/responded to yet. Um. Sorry for the cold welcome.

    So, where the hell have I been? And why am I putting this author¡¯s notes in its own separate update chapter? Well, to answer the second question, I¡¯m fed up of all of my authors notes being about my update schedule. Sometimes you wanna talk about the actual chapter, y¡¯know? I¡¯ll probably delete this update at some point cos it clutters up my beautiful lil chapter select list and artificially inflates my word count.

    To answer the former¡­ Well a lot of reasons. I¡¯ve been on holiday for more than two weeks out of the two months. One of those times I was camping, and lemme tell you, a field is not the environment most conducive to writing anything.

    In addition, I¡¯ve gone through several bouts of near insomnia as well as lovely little period of depression and dysphoria. Pretty hopeful I¡¯m out the other side of the aforementioned things, I¡¯m certainly in a pretty good mood while writing this.

    However, the biggest factor leading to the hiatus is executive dysfunction. Probably brought about by ADHD. I mean, maybe. I¡¯ve never been diagnosed for either thing, but trust me, it adds up a lot, and even if it turns out I¡¯m somehow as neurotypical as can be, the methods I¡¯ve employed to help me deal with procrastination that are supposed to help ADHD folks have helped me a lot.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    For example, I¡¯ve heard it helps to have multiple creative projects going at once, so when you lose focus on one, you have another to focus on. During the hiatus, while completely unable to even touch Deified, I wrote the introductions of two whole entire separate novels in like, a night.

    A night per novel that is. Two novel introductions a night would be a bit extreme. I doubt anything will come of either concept, at least for a while yet, because, full chapters they may be but good¡­ eh idk. Then again, I wrote them while still pretty depressed, maybe they were better than I remember.

    Even if they are good, I doubt anything will come of them for a while. If I lose steam while writing Deified, I wanna write short stories while regaining said steam. At least, until folks trust me to one day to return to Deified and I won¡¯t abandon the project.

    So yeah, expect that for the future. If I stop uploading, check my page to see if I¡¯m working on any short stories. My current ideas involve a practically plotless exploration of Existence, the omni-fiction in which pretty much every story is canon, and a classic doctor who inspired adventure through a planet of snail people in worship of the benevolent Snellod, Goddess of Snails.

    So either way, its probably gonna be self-indulgent, but hey, even if you don¡¯t like em it¡¯ll probably lead to more Deified, so suck it up biaatch!

    Anyway, I think that¡¯s everything I wanted to say in this rambly ol¡¯ update. I guess two months isn¡¯t that long in the grand scheme of things, there¡¯s projects on this world wide web of ours with like, multi-year long hiatuses. Consider yourself lucky, my friends!

    Anyway, I¡¯ve kept you from the next chapter long enough (not really, reading this is optional) so its time to get on with the show! Welcome back to Deified!

 1.19: Naturums Tear

    Of all The Seven, Aomy may well be the god most expected to be procrastinating in any given circumstance. However, all The Seven were people, and a common throughline of people in both inhabited worlds, was a desire to put off things you didn¡¯t want to do until later. So, perhaps it shouldn¡¯t be much of a surprise to learn that Aomy was not the only god procrastinating this day.

    Surrounded by a glorious forest of 100-foot-tall birch, Naturum lay completely face down in a field of moss. Her green skin, hair and clothes camouflaged her amongst the plants, causing a herd of green hamsters to prod her curiously, to little reaction.

    She¡¯d made a start. The flora of her new land was glorious, huge trees, all an incredible size, styled on oak, birch, willow, pine, alder and even acacia. And that wasn¡¯t mentioning the magical varieties, such as the rare tree whose trunk was a deep purple, or the section of the forest where trees retained their autumn orange colours all year round, photosynthesising despite the lack of green with the help of magic.

    But she just couldn¡¯t force herself to continue much further and had collapsed here. She didn¡¯t get it. She¡¯d felt terrible all day, barring occasional moments of reprieve, like watching the great elf vs dwarf debate, or the assurance that the gnomes would respect nature. Other than these brief reprieves, she couldn¡¯t shake the great longing in her gut. Perhaps¡­ Perhaps that was because of her dream.

    <hr>

    ¡°Holly! Holly, wake up!¡± Naturum¡¯s eyes blearily half-opened at the sound of her dad calling her from outside her room.

    ¡°Huh? Dad?¡± she moaned before bolting upright. ¡°Dad?!¡±

    She stared around the room, her room, devoid of the wood that defined her home as a god. She dashed to her door and flung it open to reveal her dad, exactly as she remembered him. Small, somewhat portly, his wild bed head barely different from the unkempt hair he wore during the day.

    With a cry of unrepressed emotion, she flung her arms around him, tears now streaming down her face. ¡°I¡¯m back!¡± she cried. ¡°Finally. Finally back.¡±

    Slightly surprised, he joined her embrace. ¡°Back?¡± he asked. ¡°You haven¡¯t been anywhere.¡±

    ¡°I. I thought I had.¡±

    Her dad smiled reassuringly at her. ¡°I think you¡¯ve been dreaming poppet.¡±

    Had she been? It had felt so real, realer even than what she was experiencing now, but still, she nodded. ¡°I suppose I must have been.¡±

    Holly noticed her dads smile looked so concerned despite how desperately it tried to comfort her.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t common for you¡± he murmured. ¡°You were alright at uni, weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t like that at all! In the dream¡­¡±

    Slowly, the tears stopped falling, and her eyes sparkled with that wonder that had defined her childhood experience with nature. She smiled as she desperately tried to recall all the dream contained before it left her memory.

    ¡°It was amazing at first. A world built by my own hand, so full of beauty and magic. Strange, strange creatures and alien landscapes I worked to bring into creation. Not to mention all the wonderful people except Damon I met.¡±

    Then, her eyes darkened and her body shook. ¡°But it was never all good. I¡¯d barely made any progress on the world before people began accusing me of terrible things. And that wasn¡¯t the worst bit. I was completely cut off from the outside world. I. I knew time was probably passing and you must be worried, and I had no way to escape, and I JUST FELT SO TRAPPED.¡±

    She sniffed and buried her head in her dad¡¯s arm. ¡°I missed you so much.¡±

    ¡°Oh poppet. Don¡¯t worry. You know it was all just a dream.¡±

    And then her eyes had flown open. Saw Your Thanks nibbling on some food in the cage next to her bed. Heard Damon¡¯s voice ringing in her head, telling her to get to the meeting. Just a dream. It had all been just a dream.

    <hr>

    Back in the present, Naturum sighed and tried to put the memories of the past behind her but found she just couldn¡¯t. She¡¯d tried to think of all the good happening or the progress she¡¯d made but no matter what she did her mind kept dragging her back to those memories.

    She lay there long enough for the herd of hamsters to grow bored and move on. Then she lay longer. Repeated her memories of the dream. Then she lay long enough for the weather to change, at which point she suddenly shot up. Because unlike the weather events of Earth, this particular phenomenon was heralded by the screams of the damned.

    ¡®More like screams of the sand¡¯ she thought wryly, and the humour perked her up enough to at least pay some amount of attention to the situation. For barrelling towards her, was Rizzlerich¡¯s third atypical addition to the weather cycle.

    A great wall of black sand surged through the forest; its shape contorted so it looked like faces writhed in pain amongst the storm. The few birds she¡¯d imported from Earth fled from the trees and deer burst from their hiding spot to escape this clear danger. Oh, and perhaps most notable, the storm was screaming.

    Naturum smiled faintly, partly from relief as she conjured a barrier no sound could penetrate over her ears, partly because there, outrunning the storm, was the one original species she¡¯d made today before she¡¯d fallen completely into despair.

    It was a humble creature. If you isolated it, it may look like a somewhat plump blackbird of Earth, although its feathers weren¡¯t a clear black, but speckled with tiny black dots. When grouped together, and you weren¡¯t paying much attention, you might think you were looking at a small beach of black sand.

    And then, if you saw them while they flew together, you might start to notice faces in the sand. Darker birds flew next to lighter ones, and together, with remarkable cohesion, they made up a picture that, while far from perfect to one scrutinising it, was a copy of the tortured visage of the storm they sheltered in.

    Camouflage. Somewhat unnecessary as all other forms of life fled the storm that screamed into their mind, but Naturum quite liked these birds. Although, she¡¯d had to put in a lot of work to make them work exactly how she wanted them to.

    For starters, she¡¯d had to adjust their brains a little, so they actually liked being screamed at constantly. She¡¯d considered just making them deaf, to sound both physical and mental, but that raised the issue of them being easily ambushed in the night, and she just decided this was easier.

    Which connects nicely to the next issue. The birds had to rest, and when they did, the storm would roll merrily on to startle the hell out of all the other poor animals trying to sleep. She¡¯d considered giving the birds infinite stamina so they could shelter in the storm forever, without need of sleep or relaxation, but that was a little overpowered.

    Instead, she¡¯d just given them an inbuilt magical compass which would guide them to one of the storms. And there were multiple for the birds to choose from, although, they never moved quick and were fairly sparse. On behalf of the gnomes, Naturum was glad you could live for years in this third country without encountering a single storm.

    And then came the final issue. The birds expended a lot of energy, as they needed to fly constantly to keep within the shelter of the storm. Additionally, they couldn¡¯t spend much time on the ground finding food to eat, meaning they couldn¡¯t acquire enough fuel to offset all the energy they were expending.

    Naturum had considered doing more research into migratory birds and their feeding habits, before deciding she really had no energy left to even do something as simple as using her omnipotence to learn bird facts.

    If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Instead, she¡¯d just made the birds ambiently absorb magic from the storm and use that as fuel. Was that how Rizzlerich intended magic to work? At this point, the nature goddess no longer cared. If it wasn¡¯t how it worked before, magical weather now released excess magic into the environment, and some creatures could evolve to feed on that. Fuck it.

    It was then that Naturum had collapsed immobile into the moss. She¡¯d done a bit of work on the third nations fauna before making the birds, cautiously filling the land with animals adapted to fit environments like this from Earth, and occasionally adapting a creature she¡¯d made from the previous nation to fit this new land.

    The most effort she¡¯d put in was filling sections of her forest with an absolute excess of moss to give the Excelsian green hamster an environment with enough camouflage for them to thrive in. Good thing she had gone to the effort as it meant her stress induced lie-down at least took place somewhere relatively comfortable.

    Naturum shut her eyes as the sandstorm washed over her, snapping her out of her reflections on the bird making process. In mere moments, it had blown past her, leaving her alone in the forest. She let out a dramatic sigh. It was time to finally add some more creatures to the new land, she supposed.

    She cast her eyes around the forest, trying to determine what she¡¯d most want to see within it. She thought back on the woodlands of her home and an idea came to her. She held out her hands and before her, a model of a creature began to form.

    A squirrel to be precise. Grey furred and bushy tailed, it was practically a copy of certain squirrel species on Earth. With a slight smile, Naturum willed the model to grow, until the beast was similar in size to a grizzly bear. A giant squirrel for a giant forest. Naturum knew there were also some giant nuts around somewhere for it to eat.

    Content with her new animal, the nature goddess willed them into existence in the numbers they would naturally reach after living 1000 years in this new land¡¯s completed ecosystem. She hadn¡¯t bothered with her usual process of planning said ecosystem out beforehand, that would have been far too much effort in her current state.

    Instead, she just told her animals not to eat anything while sustaining them with magic. If the ecosystem fucked up, she was pretty sure she¡¯d know about it when she tried to summon her creatures in the state they¡¯d be after 1000 years of natural selection, and nothing turned up.

    Naturum eyed the beast that had been her model as it leisurely made its way deeper into the woods. Her eyebrows narrowed and her fists clenched. It was just a big squirrel, wasn¡¯t it? How thoroughly uninteresting. She was losing whatever touch she¡¯d ever imagined she¡¯d had, no one on Excelsior would ever like this creature.

    <hr>

    Several miles away, a gaggle of gnomes poked their heads through the hanging boughs of a colossal weeping willow. Eyes wide, they stared at the strange life form that had appeared before them.

    Body rippling with its mighty muscles, teeth strong enough to crack each gnomes head, it was simply awe inspiring.

    ¡°What is that thing?¡± one gnome murmured.

    ¡°Excelsian giant squirrel. Does your brain not tell you that, ya goober?!¡± cried another.

    To which gnome one rolled their eyes and sagely said ¡°A creature is more than a name. ¡°What is it?¡± is a pertinent question still.¡±

    The third of the trio, tired of the bickering, burst from the cover of the leaves to approach the beast.

    ¡°Hello¡± he called out. ¡°We come in peace!¡±

    To which the beast in question glanced nonchalantly over to the source of the noise. Being a much larger creature, the giant squirrel needed none of its younger cousin¡¯s skittishness. Uninterested, it began to lumber off.

    ¡°Awwww, you scared it off!¡± the second gnome yelled, scaring even the bravest birds from all nearby trees.

    ¡°We cannot have this!¡± the first cried in response. ¡°It must be an act of divine fate for it to appear before us! We must follow it!¡±

    The squirrel spooking gnome¡¯s eyes lit up. ¡°No¡­ WE MUST WORSHIP IT!!!¡±

    At this, his fellow gnomes smiles widened into almost unsettling grins. ¡°YEAH!!!¡± they chorused.

    ¡°AFTER THAT SQUIRREL!¡± screamed gnome one.

    With much whooping and hollering, the gnomes chased the squirrel through the woods, leading to a glorious day of harassing the poor creature, until it eventually got fed up and fled up a tree.

    <hr>

    Naturum let out a dramatic sigh. ¡®What¡¯s made is made, time to move on.¡¯ She thought to herself. ¡®But what next? Maybe¡­ A literal feathered boa? Snake body, bright pink feathers, punny concept. Almost sounds like something happy Naturum would come up with.¡¯

    With a thought, a model of the snake sat before her. It was a relatively small creature, a tree boa, and thanks to its feathers it did indeed look much like a feather boa with a snake¡¯s head poking disconcertingly out one end.

    There was a problem with it, however. As flagrantly uncamouflaged as it was, being bright pink and all, it may have trouble hunting. Heck, given how exceedingly noticeable it was, it would probably end up being hunted more than anything else.

    ¡®Ah, but maybe¡¯ Naturum thought ¡®I can use this to my advantage. Give the thing crazy reflexes, enough to dodge a bird of prey and bite it. Give it some venom too, technically disqualifying it from being a boa, but guaranteeing a kill. It eats its fill, leaves the rest of its meal for scavengers to eat and that¡¯s one complete creature.¡¯

    Assured the technically-not-a-boa would fit comfortably within her ecosystem, Naturum brought them into existence. Which should bring her happiness right? This was an interesting creature, right, something kind of funny?

    And yet, she felt pretty much the same as she did when she unleashed the squirrel unto Excelsior. Just a vague unease, a disappointment, the sense that she¡¯d messed up in some way. After all, it wasn¡¯t like this was some work of genius, just some cheap joke you might expect to find in some children¡¯s fiction. Any fleeting feelings of satisfaction weren¡¯t deserved.

    <hr>

    In another part of the woodland, a gnome hunter spotted something odd slithering across the forest floor. Bright pink and long, the ¡®Feathered boa,¡¯ as the gnome identified it, wasn¡¯t much on its own. But perhaps, sewed together¡­ a garment could be made?

    Taking place before Aomy¡¯s speech, this gnome had no love of nature and so had no qualms pulling a bow from their back, taking aim and, with a sudden jolt- missing their shot. The gnome frowned and pulled the bow back once more.

    With a twang, the arrow shot forth and hit the exact spot the snake should be. Except it hadn¡¯t actually hit the snake. To the gnome¡¯s shock, the fashion-statement-to-be had, with the twitchiest of movements, dodged the projectile.

    ¡°CURSE YOU!¡± cried the hunter, bursting from the underbrush to try and leap onto the creature. All seemed well, until mere centimetres from the ground the snake zipped forwards so the gnome faceplanted into the soil in a way that would be much funnier when shown rather than described in text.

    This did not deter the hapless hunter. Blearily rising from the ground, they locked eyes on their quarry.

    ¡°I will claim you.¡± The hunter swore.

    And so began a great chase, lasting even longer than the squirrel harassing incident mentioned earlier. It ended much the same way. The tree snake ascended an acacia, leaving the gnome hunter really wishing they could scale the near sheer trees the snakes lived in.

    <hr>

    Naturum was really running out of ideas. Every second she feared falling back into the moss and returning to that realm of unproductivity. Maybe a hamster would help? She loved Your Thanks, and the Rizzelian snikpopkaputiorthanks was one of the favourite creatures she¡¯d made.

    What would differentiate this hamster from the others? Going by Captumon types, she¡¯d already made a normal hamster and a poison hamster. A flying hamster could probably work well in this environment, maybe she could make that?

    Without even giving much thought to the process, she made a crude hamster model in the palm of her hand, stretched out its proportions so its limbs could support patagia, like those seen in flying squirrels, and then, before she could even mull over her decision, threw the model as far as she could away from her.

    It sprung to life with a joyous squeak and began to glide through the forest, as across the nation, its brethren burst into existence alongside it. The nature goddess was a complete contrast to the jubilant hamster. Her legs gave way, and she collapsed face first into the moss. Everything, the whole process, just felt so incredibly wrong.

    And now she¡¯d thought the first sad thoughts, the rest came rushing back. Being blamed for monsters, her worries over whoever the hell was scheming in the shadows, her heart crying out for her family who must be so worried, her isolation from being completely cut off from the rest of society and how she just felt so goddamn trapped!

    With a choke a tear fell onto the moss. And then another. And then, something magical happened. Each drop that fell from her eyes floated up from the moss, past her downturned head and without her even noticing, up to the canopy of the trees.

    They began to grow, shape changing as they did, the subconscious intent of a goddess desiring more creatures for her world. More and more tears joined the first, all moulding into rough copies of that original shape, until a pod of animals floated in the air.

    They were whale shaped, if whales could fit into the palm of your hand. Fully aqueous, their bodies shone like bubbles in the sun and when they flew through the air, they left a trail of sparkling light behind them.

    With a hauntingly beautiful song, they began to float through the great forest. Startled by the noise, Naturum stared up, then continued staring, now filled with wonder at the radiant swarm of creatures. On shaky steps, she stood up, and began to follow the pod.

    <hr>

    It did not take long for one of the pods to cross the skies above a gnome village. Panic ensued, initially, as creatures whose names never appeared in your head tended to be monsters. Once a gnome named them though, the panic subsided, and the village gathered to gaze upon the creatures. The name they now saw in their mind was thus:

    Naturum¡¯s Tear

 X.X Update 2 Electric Boogaloo

    Hello again. Been a while. Welcome back to my bimonthly pre-chapter update. God, d¡¯you remember last time, when I was all happy and optimistic, fully expecting a glorious return? Maybe you don¡¯t. It was over two months ago.

    Well, what happened? Well, life I suppose. Its not really something I wish to completely get into, somewhat personal and all that, but it completely burnt me out of writing for a long ass while, to the point I feared I¡¯d never return.

    Also, turned out there was an obscenely unhealthy amount of carbon dioxide in my room, giving me constant brain fog and headaches, and leaving me struggling to think and read. Yeah. That¡­ that probably didn¡¯t help much, huh? It was like this for months. Months.

    Recently however, I felt again the urge to create. Continuing Deified seemed far too daunting, so I set to work on one of the side projects mentioned last update. A smaller story to get me back into it again. Then I wrote three chapters in a week.

    That is bloody good for me, especially considering how long its taken me to write Deified chapters of late. Absolutely loved the experience of it, too, truly a joy to write. They should be coming to Royal Road before too long, three chapters (about 7k words) doesn¡¯t feel like enough for me to start posting (and I¡¯m considering practising my editing by polishing up the first chapter), but it shall come soon.

    However, while I wrote this new tale, I uh, kinda wrote off Deified? In my heart of hearts, I did not plan on continuing the series, not for a long while at least. But, around two weeks ago, for two days in a row, I received comments here, one very much showing an interest in the series continuing (thanks for the support, btw, the love this series gets does warm my heart), and whether it was this, or something else, it inspired me to finish this chapter that I left unfinished.

    And it came pretty easily to me! Like, finished it in a day! And I¡¯m just super happy to have got it done. I hope y¡¯all like it too.

    Truth be told, the prospect of fully committing to Deified¡¯s return is very daunting to me. Its big, often complicated and that makes it scary. Worse still, it has felt like a chore to continue, the fun had left me somewhat. Even after those comments were posted, and I¡¯d finished writing, I still felt like I¡¯d rather focus primarily on my new story (hence why it took so long to actually upload this chapter, even though its been ¡°finished¡± a while). I still did not expect Deified to ever be finished.

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    But then, writing on the new story slowed down, and got harder, and moved slowly towards chore territory and I felt a deep fear. What if I¡¯m just not cut out for writing? What if I¡¯m lying to myself and I don¡¯t actually enjoy it? What if I never finish any project I ever write?!

    And then something strange happened. I got the urge to continue working on Deified. And so that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing while writing this. Checking over this chapter one last time, and then, hopefully, starting work on the next.

    Then I realised, I¡¯m a fucking idiot. Because whats happening is exactly what I talked about last update. I need to switch between projects to keep interest in both. Y¡¯know, the thing I literally wrote down as a potential solution to this whole hiatus situation?!

    So, what does that mean for the future? Well, I¡¯m almost certainly not gonna return to weekly chapters any time soon. Hopefully, chapters uploads will speed up soon, although y¡¯all might not notice straight away, because some of those chapters will take a while to get to Royal Road, as I would like to have a lot of my new story done before I post it to Royal Road, cos god am I excited for it, and really want it to do well enough to find its audience (its slightly off RR¡¯s preferred genres, I¡¯m not really expecting it to blow up, lol).

    Still, hopefully I should be able to upload Deified more frequently than once every two months+ and I am, perhaps na?vely, hopeful. Nothings set in stone yet, maybe nothing gonna change, we¡¯re still very much in the experimentation stage of my new writing endeavours.

    So, yeah. Whenever I¡¯ve managed to begin writing again, I¡¯ve always been really happy about it, so here¡¯s hoping I can do that again, that my new plan works, and that life does not kick in my teeth again.

    Once my new story (called Dawn of the Planet of the Snails btw) is out, I¡¯d love it if some of y¡¯all could check it out, I¡¯ve really fallen in love with it over the planning and early writing stage. I¡¯ll post a link in a Deified authors notes once its out, but if you take a look and it doesn¡¯t interest you, then no pressure.

    It¡¯s truly an honour to have y¡¯all sticking with me through these long hiatuses, especially considering not everyone does, and each hiatus does lose me a fair handful of followers. Seriously, thank you so much, your support means the world.

    I think that¡¯s all I had to say. Assuming it is, lets get on with the show!

 1.20: The Sapients Second Sacred Speech

    ¡°And lo, peop¡­ No. Lo? Really?¡±

    Aomy sighed and deleted the recording of her latest speech attempt from her mind. She stared ruefully out across her stage, and into the dark blue ring of light that represented her camera. Her face dimmed considerably as she remembered how long even that had taken to set up in a way that looked nice.

    ¡°Take two¡± she muttered as she mentally began a new recording. ¡°And so, peeble of¡­ Um. Shit.¡±

    ¡®It¡¯s always fun to discover a new character flaw, isn¡¯t it?¡¯ goaded her inner demons as another recording was deleted. ¡®But seriously, perfectionism? It does not suit you. You know, despite all these new methods you¡¯re probably still not gonna get this speech finished at all.¡¯

    Shaking her head Aomy tried to ignore her doubts. After all, she had been making progress. The first part of the speech was already finished, taken in multiple short, good takes, clumsily stitched together in a way that would make a practiced editor scream, but Aomy had convinced herself looked alright.

    Just about every point from her first speech to the hufolk had been covered less awkwardly in this new version. She¡¯d laid out her goal and the stakes. She¡¯d told her people to be kind. To value individual¡¯s freedoms. And to strive for complete equality amongst all sapients.

    Now, all that was left was to encourage them to value nature, like Naturum wanted. And perhaps to emphasise a tendency towards spontaneity and fun, although, Aomy really didn¡¯t have any idea how to actually accomplish that. She felt that addressing an entire country¡¯s worth of people and telling them to just be silly little guys would be somewhat weird.

    ¡°And so, gnomes of Excelsior, I gift you one last piece of advice! To, er, respect nature, above and beyond the respect all other races bestow on, um, Excelsior¡¯s animals, plants and shit.¡± She sighed but decided to continue on this recording for a moment, just to see where she was going. ¡°I tell you this, because¡­¡±

    There was a long pause as Aomy¡¯s featureless face gazed vacantly into her magical recorder as her brain struggled to think of what to say next. Just why the hell did folks venerate nature so much anyway?

    ¡®Well, because animals are thinking creatures as much as we are¡¯ she supposed. ¡®But I¡¯ve already covered that in rule one, don¡¯t be an arse. Oh! And also, because if we fuck nature up too much, the world ends. I¡­ I could work with that, I guess.¡¯

    Resetting her recording, she began once more to speak. ¡°Now, gnomes of Excelsior, I bring you one last warning before this speech ends! I have already taught you to be kind, even to the animals you¡¯ll meet, because, like, they think too and stuff.¡±

    ¡®You know, you are quite literally the least inspiring doomsday prophet ever¡¯ The voice of her doubts jeered. ¡®Earth or Excelsior.¡¯

    ¡®Shut up.¡¯ Aomy¡¯s conscious thoughts thought back.

    ¡°But, there is reason to not just respect these creatures out of pure goodness, but because of the danger disrespecting nature brings!¡± Aomy cried, hoping the pause for her internal dialogue wasn¡¯t noticeable.

    ¡°The abuse of life, fauna or flora, or not taking care of the very world you stand on, shall lead to widespread destruction and death, and in the worst-case scenario, the very end to life as you shall come to know it!¡±

    She paused her recording for a moment and resumed blankly staring at nothing as she began to think. Part of the reason she was doing this was to clear Naturum¡¯s name and didn¡¯t this kind of sound like Naturum would be responsible for all this calamity?

    And wait, sure, all that was painfully true on Earth, but was it even true for Excelsior? They were the gods of this world, it would probably be moral to ensure that it wasn¡¯t quite so easy to ruin the planet. Aomy made a mental note to bring that up next meeting.

    But, if this wasn¡¯t the path to go down, then what was? Aomy slumped into a chair she conjured behind her and rested a palm on her empty face. All the spontaneity Naturum had recommended may have helped her get this far, but when it came to stuff like this she still floundered. At least after a day of procrastinating a task, she¡¯d thought about things enough to have a pretty decent plan of what to say.

    Still, best to give it one more shot before she fully ran out of energy and found herself unable to get on again. Reluctantly, she climbed out of her chair and begun to ponder what to say. After a moment, she thought she had¡­ something.

    ¡°Okay, so uh, that¡¯s everything I¡¯d usually say. In a world with just me as the only god, that¡¯s all I would say until it was time to check in on you all and see how your civilisation has progressed. But this isn¡¯t that world.¡±

    Her voice was quiet and unsure, more so than usual. ¡°I know you know about the others. Damon, Loma, Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, Scientia and Naturum. All of us working together to bring this world into existence.¡±

    She momentarily regretted not adding a ¡°mostly¡± after the ¡°working together¡± but now probably wasn¡¯t the time to be sassing Damon. ¡°But, we¡¯re not infallible. No matter what Damon claims.¡± Okay, maybe a little bit of sassing Damon was fine.

    Aomy paused as she internally debated just how wise it was to continue along her current trajectory. Her plan was just to be honest. About the monsters. About Naturum¡¯s attempts to fight them. And the fact she was asking them to respect nature to help her friend. But, deep in her gut, Aomy felt like this plan would not work out.

    Perhaps that was in part because the self-proclaimed leader of the gods she¡¯d just been sassing would be certain to bring it up, he¡¯d already accused her of losing the people¡¯s respect on behalf of the gods in an earlier meeting.

    Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    But mostly because this just instinctually felt wrong, even if she couldn¡¯t quite put a finger on why. Would it be because this would cause panic? It probably would, but she didn¡¯t think that was it. It just wasn¡¯t how she expected gods to act.

    Which she supposed was ridiculous. Only difference between her and the sapients she¡¯d made was her knowledge on future societies you could only get living on a world which has seen so many civilisations rise and fall and develop anew. Oh, and phenomenal cosmic power, but that¡¯s no reason to act high and mighty.

    Aomy unpaused as she realised just how long she¡¯d stopped talking for. Hastily cutting the long gap, she continued her speech. ¡°As well as the gods, you also, of course, know of the monsters. You¡¯ve seen what I¡¯ve done to try and protect you from them.¡±

    She let out a small sigh. ¡°But you probably don¡¯t know much about them, right? Just the different types we know about, when they spawn, their ¡°health¡±? Nothing as useful as knowing what they are, how they came to be?¡±

    And now her voice began to fill with guilt. ¡°Well, that¡¯s because we don¡¯t know either. We don¡¯t know who or what made them. What any new monsters will look like. And due to the rules that bind us, we can¡¯t personally stop them. Nor did we have any cause to expect them when they first arrived.¡±

    The omnipresent golden glow of her face dimmed considerably. ¡°Due to their similarity to Naturum¡¯s animals, many initially blamed her for their creation. She¡¯s worked harder than the rest of us to fight the monsters and I know for a fact that she is innocent.¡±

    ¡®Even if her efforts may have led to the whole wurm situation in the mountain country¡¯ Aomy thought. ¡®Wait, do I know for a fact she¡¯s innocent? Technically she only did all those tests on Damon, none on herself or any other god. Whatever, I know she¡¯s innocent, I¡¯m getting sidetracked.¡¯

    ¡°I didn¡¯t realise just what she¡¯s going through until today. I think she¡¯s really hurt, despite her brave face and I, er. Well. I wanted to try and help her like she tries to help me. Like she tried to help all of you. I¡­ I want to ask all of you a favour.¡±

    Aomy¡¯s posture was hunched and stiff and her head hung low. ¡°I know I don¡¯t have much of a right to ask a favour of you, given I know none of you personally and there¡¯s a pretty huge imbalance of power, but consider it a first test of rule one.¡±

    ¡°I ask you to respect the natural world beyond the walls of your settlements, more so than you already should be respecting all forms of life.¡± She sighed. ¡°And I ask you to spread word of Naturum¡¯s innocence.¡±

    She sighed for the second time in as many seconds, and, head still low, lapsed into a long silence. She¡¯d said her piece. Sure, it may have been inelegant, but it was heartfelt, and that was what Aomy felt was best, but she still didn¡¯t think it was enough.

    The doubts in her head began to swirl once more. They told her the speech wasn¡¯t convincing, that she¡¯d come across as unlikeable and useless and that the whole endeavour was selfish and unnecessary. Maybe it would be best to simply give up, leave the basic tenants of the speech to stand alone.

    But that would mean abandoning Naturum. Conflicted, she agonised for ages, staring into that blue ring. Maybe it would be best to leave her stage, go walking across Excelsior like she had upon first meeting the hufolk town that had inspired her before. And then, as those thoughts fizzed and sparked and evolved, an idea struck her. Seizing the last dwindling seeds of spontaneity, she took action.

    ¡°And besides!¡± she cried, arms flung out. ¡°How could you not find awe when living amongst this natural world?!¡±

    As she spoke, she teleported herself and her magic camera into the freshly made Excelsian forest country. Those towering trees stood tall above her, utterly majestic in their height, their shape, the way the natural beauty of the trees from home had been taken and re-made by what was clearly a passionate and adoring fan.

    ¡°How could you not innately respect this?! Its so grand! So beautiful.¡± A flock of Naturum¡¯s Tears flew overhead as if to emphasise her point, their shining bodies resplendent and their sparkling trail divine. Aomy¡¯s face glowed that radiant gold, like it had never done since after the elf vs dwarf debate this morning.

    ¡°Its awe-full¡± the goddess murmured. And then quite quickly she realised what she¡¯d said and stammered ¡°As in, its full of awe! Uh. Not, y¡¯know, uh, awful¡­ Ahem! But this is not the only brilliant natural site on Excelsior!¡±

    She teleported again to one of the mountain cave¡¯s oases and, freed from the stresses of trying to keep a load of dwarves alive, found its clear blue pool, its wall of vines, its golden flowers bathing all in magical light, to be so calming, so mysterious.

    ¡°Look at this¡± she said, tone going for grand, but instead hitting excited. ¡°Its amazing. Not just pretty, but so alien, so fantastical, its like nothing I could reasonably expect to find back home.¡± She paused as she quickly debated whether or not letting the fact, she had a home before Excelsior slip was a wise idea.

    In the end, she chose to roll with it. Spontaneity and all that. She winked from the oasis up the mountain and found herself surrounded by jagged black cliffs, lit by dark red clouds as yellow rain lashed the rocks around her and crimson lightning flashed behind her.

    Truth be told, she had no idea where the hell this was, she¡¯d just willed herself somewhere ¡°cool¡±. Once again, the goddess swiftly accepted the situation and strove to adapt. ¡°And now, see how frankly incredible this place is! Terrifying and wonderful in equal measure. But its not just the striking sites of absolute majesty worthy of your respect and passion.¡±

    She rendered her magical ring camera invisible, then looked through its eyes. ¡°There¡¯s so much smaller-scale beauty here too.¡± She saw, as her audience would, the camera follow a great golden eagle, as it glided through the skies above Excelsior. Then appear before a lone rose, growing wild in a comparatively modest wood. And then the view jumped one last time to a herd of green hamsters skittering past a wall of glowstone in a dark tunnel.

    The camera returned to the goddess of civilisations, and once more focused on the her, and Aomy briefly wondered why she hadn¡¯t been watching herself through the camera¡¯s eyes the whole time.

    ¡°At least, that is how I see things.¡± Her voice had shifted to become soft and gentle. ¡°If you cannot find the passion for nature, do not feel like you¡¯ve failed. Don¡¯t worry that you¡¯ve let me down, or disrespected Naturum. I want you all to find your passions.¡±

    Her face glowed, less bright now, and much softer, but no less beautiful. ¡°I want you all to find all the joy you possibly can. After all, that should be the goal of any society worthy of respect. To ensure the happiness we all desire. For everyone.¡±

    She ended the recording, and a surge of energy rushed through her, and her face shone with blinding light. That felt incredible! She¡¯d done a whole speech and she thought it was pretty damn good, considering her typical dis-inclination towards public speaking, or perhaps, semi-public in this instance.

    In fact, so encouraged was she, that she immediately sent the recording to every gnome of Exclesior. An action she immediately regretted.

    ¡®Oh shit¡¯ she thought to herself. ¡®I left in that really long gap before the teleport-y bit¡¯

    ¡®Don¡¯t forget the awful awe-full line¡¯ another thought added.

    ¡®In fact, you really should have checked the whole thing over, done some watch-throughs.¡¯

    Aomy slumped to the floor of her stage, light winking out. Spontaneity was great and all. But perhaps, she thought to herself, like all things in life, a little moderation is advisable.