《Cattle Gap: A Southern Cosmic》 Chapter One: Rebecca Barbour Mississippi is terrible. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! It¡¯s so fucking boring! I am literally sitting here in the woods with nothing to do. There¡¯s no Internet, there¡¯s no cell signal, there¡¯s nothing. I¡¯m going to go crazy here. I know I am. God. My stupid parents. What do they think is going to happen? Do they think Granny Jean is going to do what? What is she going to do? She lives out here in the woods with her fucking boyfriend. She¡¯s an old lady and she¡¯s not even married. What is that supposed to teach me? That you can just fuck off into the country with whatever dirty old hillbilly? That¡¯s awful. I wish Granny Jean had moved to a city. Why did she have to move out here to this damn country ¡°Outing Club¡± or whatever? Why couldn¡¯t she bring her hick boyfriend up to us? Why did she move down here? The people here are so fucking dumb. Like, there¡¯s cities and stuff? Why don¡¯t they just move to Atlanta, at least? That¡¯s close, I think? I asked Granny Jean and she said people like the peace and quiet. Well fuck that! There¡¯s nothing to do out here! God help me I¡¯m going to kill myself. God I miss Jodi. God I miss Lindsey. I wish I could check Tumblr. God! There¡¯s this weird guy that lives next door to us. His house is a plane. Like an airplane. It doesn¡¯t have any wings, but it¡¯s obviously an airplane. I wonder how they got it out here? Like maybe it crashed and they just left it here and built a house out of it? I asked Granny Jean when we pulled up to the house the first time. She said it¡¯d always been there, the plane house. Whatever! That doesn¡¯t make sense. Whatever. Anyway there¡¯s this weird guy that lives in the plane house next door. He¡¯s like an artist or something? He builds these weird statues? Like out of metal? They¡¯re pretty cool I guess but he¡¯s pretty weird. He smokes clove cigarettes like that makes him cool. We haven¡¯t smoked cloves in like years, so¡­. Whatever. He¡¯s old. Like everybody vapes now? Anyway. I don¡¯t know why my stupid mom and my stupid dad sent me down here. I love Granny Jean, but I don¡¯t know why they wanted me to spend the whole summer with her and her stupid boyfriend down in fucking Mississippi of all places. God! Even the fucking drive down here! All these fun mountains and hills and then you get to Tennessee and it¡¯s a flat nothing all the rest of the way. When I saw that stupid ¡°Welcome to Mississippi!¡± sign I thought I was going to die! Dammit Granny Jean! Why did you have to fall in love with some hillbilly? Like, why couldn¡¯t she fall in love with one of the big boating club guys back home? Their boats are bigger. Jud¡¯s boat is stupid. Like it barely has any room to even walk around on. It doesn¡¯t even look like a real boat. He¡¯s says it¡¯s a ¡°pontoon boat¡± or whatever. Whatever! God! I miss Jodi. I want to talk to him so bad. I¡¯ve been trying to get him to text me, but he¡¯s so shit at texting. How is that possible? Just fucking respond to my fucking texts, Jodi! Dammit. He¡¯s always been like that. He always responds with like a ¡°Cool,¡± or an ¡°OK,¡± or ¡°LOL¡±! Put some fucking effort into it! Like, it¡¯s me, Jodi! I¡¯m not one of your idiot friend. I¡¯m your fucking girlfriend, so put some effort into your fucking texts! God! But like I can¡¯t be mad, because I¡¯m not even sure he¡¯s getting my texts at all because I¡¯m out here in the fucking woods! Lindsey hasn¡¯t been responding to my texts at all. God please Lindsey. I need to talk to you so bad. Everyone here is so weird. They all wear camouflage and they all drive trucks. Like all of them. Even the women. It¡¯s so weird. Like the women wear pink camouflage. What?! Granny Jean¡¯s boyfriend Jud said he was going to take me hunting. Like whatever. Like I¡¯d ever try to shoot an animal. That¡¯s awful. Granny Jean said we¡¯d go into town and go shopping, but I saw the town while we were driving in, and there is literally nothing there. All I saw were a bunch of old worn out houses. That¡¯s Benoit. But they don¡¯t pronounce it right. They say it like it¡¯s Benoyt. Even Granny Jean says it like that. It¡¯s so ignorant. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. Maybe she¡¯s talking about a different town? Like Mississippi has a capital? I bet that¡¯s nicer. How far away is that? I¡¯d like to go there and see what they have. I bet they¡¯ve got like at least a mall or something. Maybe a strip mall? God I am so bored! The guy next door, in the plane house, his name is Jon. He¡¯s like a pedophile I think? Or whatever the word is for older guys who like teenagers? I¡¯ve caught him looking at me at the pool, and I¡¯m like, as if! He¡¯s like thirty! Gross. The good thing about Granny Jean¡¯s boyfriend Jud is that he¡¯s not a perv. He looks at me like I¡¯m a boy or something. I¡¯ve even tried to get his attention a couple times just to make sure he¡¯s not all pervy. I can walk around the house in a bikini or in my underwear and he just looks at me like he¡¯s confused. Like he¡¯s not used to having a teenager around he doesn¡¯t know what to say to me? I think that Granny Jean walks around in her underwear a lot when I¡¯m not here, and maybe he¡¯s used to it? Which is gross, but whatever. At least he¡¯s not a perv. I was worried that when I went to swim at the pool here at the ¡°Outing Club¡± that someone would perv out on me. And like, this Jon guy from next door, he¡¯s looked at me, but he hasn¡¯t said anything or anything like that. There¡¯s this cool lifeguard girl at the pool, and I think she¡¯s kind of straightened out the normal perv problem. She says her name is Pocahontas, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s her real name, even though she looks like an Indian. Or a Native American, I mean. She¡¯s pretty cool. She told me she¡¯s going to college to get her Nursing degree. She¡¯s pretty cool. You know what I want to do? I want to find an old fashioned land line phone and call Jodi. He¡¯ll be able to hear me and I¡¯ll be able to hear him and we can talk finally. Or I¡¯ll call Lindsey! I¡¯ve got so much to tell her. I¡¯ve only been here for a week, but it feels like I¡¯ve been here for years. I want to tell her about Granny Jean. She has this garden in the front yard and she got a tattoo! What!? I don¡¯t think my parents even know about Granny Jean¡¯s tattoo. It¡¯s a tramp stamp! I don¡¯t think they would have sent me down here if they knew about her tramp stamp! It¡¯s like a heart with swirly things around it. Like a heart with wings? Like a tribal tattoo like older guys like to get? Jud has that kind of tattoo on his arms. Oh my God do you think that¡¯s some kind of sex thing for Granny Jean and Jud? Oh my God! On the one hand, yay Granny Jean you do you, but on the other hand, GROSS GROSS GROSS! I don¡¯t ever want to think about Granny Jean fucking, and Jud? He¡¯s like a raisin man. Gross! O God Lindsey I¡¯m going to find a phone and call you. I think they¡¯ve got to have one at the pool, right? It¡¯s like the law? Or maybe at that restaurant there next to the lake? Someone¡¯s bound to have a phone here somewhere. I¡¯m going to call Lindsey, God, maybe tomorrow. I¡¯ll ask Pocahontas when I go to the pool tomorrow. I¡¯ll ask the guy at the bait shop and I¡¯ll ask the lady at the restaurant. Somebody¡¯ bound to have a phone. You know what? Maybe my cell phone plan doesn¡¯t work very well in Mississippi? Maybe it¡¯s like an Ohio only plan and it¡¯s barely getting any signal at all down here? That might be it. I¡¯ll ask Granny Jean? I haven¡¯t heard her complain about her cell phone signal at all. Maybe I can talk her into adding me onto her plan for while I¡¯m down here. Then I can talk to Jodi. Fucking Jodi! It¡¯s his fault I¡¯m down here. I told him I wanted to use a condom, but no! He didn¡¯t want to. And even though I wasn¡¯t pregnant my stupid parents freak the fuck out and have to send me to stay with Granny Jean in stupid Mississippi. God! God Jodi. If I asked him do you think he¡¯d come down here to see me? He¡¯s got his summer job up at the park, but I bet he¡¯d come see me. I¡¯d love it If he¡¯d just come down here and show up outside my window one night. God damn it! Why do my stupid parents want me to stay down here all summer? Why can¡¯t I be at home? Why can¡¯t I hang out with my friend and Jodi? I would have even gotten a summer job if they¡¯d wanted me to. I could work at Starbucks! I¡¯m only going to be sixteen one time, and that means I¡¯m only going to have one summer when I¡¯m sixteen years old, and instead of spending that one special summer at home with my friends I have to spend it here alone in fucking damn Mississippi in the middle of the fucking woods with my grandmother and her fucking stupid hillbilly boyfriend in this fucking stupid Outing Club. I hate my life. Somebody save me. Please. Chapter Two: Jean-Louise Barbour Something is eating my tomatoes. Something is eating my tomatoes and I¡¯m going to find out what it is. I tell you. I am going to get one of Jud¡¯s traps and I¡¯m going to stick it right out there in the tomato patch and I¡¯m going to catch whatever it is that¡¯s eating my tomatoes. I¡¯m going to do that tonight. Set that trap. I¡¯ll use a tomato as bait. I¡¯ll stick a whole tomato plant in there if I have to. Nobody eats Jean-Louis Barbour¡¯s tomatoes without permission. No sir, they do not. I bet I can get Becky to help me set my trap. Be good to get her out and doing things instead of moping around all the time. That poor girl. Next weekend I¡¯m going to take her down to Jackson and have a girls¡¯ day. We¡¯ll get our nails done and I¡¯ll take her down to Fondren and to that cute little costume jewelry store next to the Target. Try to get her mind off Cincinnati and that boy. What did she say his name was? Joey? That¡¯s right. That poor girl. I don¡¯t see what the big deal is. So she had a little scare. It happens. And even if she had been pregnant that wouldn¡¯t have been so bad. I was around Becky¡¯s age when I had her father, and her mother was only a couple years older when she had Becky. We would have had another little Barbour baby to raise and that¡¯s never been a bad thing. No sir, it has not. I¡¯m going to catch that tomato thieving so-and-so. I swear to Jesus. I know Jud keeps his traps out in the back. I might just go back there and sneak one and set it up right now. If he catches me he¡¯ll give me that look and say, ¡°What on God¡¯s green earth are you doing,¡± but I¡¯ll just give him a little wiggle and he¡¯ll hush right up. How are my hummingbird feeders? Where are my little babies? Come on little babies! Come and get your nectar. Sweet little birdies with their little hearts beating a mile a minute. Sweet little babies. Fly fly fly little babies. Zip zip zip. Where are they? So late this year. Ugh. That boy put another one of his trash piles out. Look at that thing. All rusty and terrible. Why does he have to make everything look so ugly? You can look at it and tell it¡¯s solid. He could be making all kinds of pretty little statues. Instead he¡¯s got to make all these big rusty ugly ones. What is that even supposed to be? Some kind of man? Looks like a pile of trash to me. Yes sir, it does indeed. Ugh. Becky! Sweetpea! Sweetpea, what are you doing right now? You know you¡¯re not doing anything Miss Rebecca. Don¡¯t give me that look. I know you¡¯re sad and homesick but I am your grandmother. Would you like to come and work in the garden with me? I¡¯m going to try set a trap for whatever it is that keeps eating all my tomatoes. You don¡¯t have to help me if you don¡¯t want. Well, have fun at the pool then, Sweetpea. That girl is a fish. Yes sir, I tell you. I¡¯ll have to tell her father. That girl loves to swim. I bet they could put her on a swim team at that school in Cincinnati. That would give her something to do besides that stupid little boy of hers. I swear. Maybe she¡¯s got a new boy over by the pool. Maybe that¡¯s why she¡¯s going over there every day. I might go to the pool later and check. Or I could tell that Connie to keep her eyes open. Not that Becky having a new little boyfriend at the pool would be the end of the world. I don¡¯t know why people are so surprised when young people sneak around like that. I¡¯d be more surprised if they didn¡¯t. Let¡¯s go see if we can dig up one of Jud¡¯s traps. There¡¯s Momma Cat. When are you going to bring me some more babies? Huh? More little kitties? Oh you¡¯re deciding to be nice? Okay. Good girl. Sweet girl. Go find that gray tom from last year and bring me some more babies. Yes, ma¡¯am. Okay. If I was a trap where would I be? I would be¡­ hanging on the wall? Oh there¡¯s one. Okay. Here we go. Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Look at that ugly thing. How long is he going to keep that sitting there? I hope he carts it off to the school before tomorrow. Why can¡¯t that boy build something nice and pretty? I bet I could get him to build something nice if I asked him. I bet he could get a girlfriend if he built something pretty instead of all that nasty trash. That¡¯s the way to go with it. I¡¯ll talk to Jud about it and see what he thinks. Maybe we can set him up with some girl, maybe one of Debra¡¯s granddaughters. I think the oldest one is going to Delta State right now. That would be easy to set up. If that boy falls in love I bet he¡¯d stop building all these ugly things and start building nice things. That¡¯d be lovely. I¡¯ll talk to Jud about it. I¡¯ll call Debra. Here we go. Set this here. Here. Yes. Okay, set this here and open this. And this tomato is good. There. There. Okay. Okay! We¡¯re going to catch that little so-and-so. We¡¯re going to catch him and I¡¯ll have Jud take him over on the other side of the levee and let him go. Maybe drive him out toward Shaw and let him go out there so he can¡¯t come back. Anyway we¡¯re going to catch him tonight! Yes sir! Where is Jud? He¡¯s probably tootling around out there somewhere. I hope he comes back before Becky so we can have a quickie. It¡¯s hot out here today. I¡¯m going to make some lemonade! Lemonade, lemonade. We¡¯ll need to run into town soon and stock up. I wonder if there¡¯s anything Becky wants special. Maybe cereal? We could make rice krispie treats! That¡¯s fun! We could make brownies and decorate them with frosting. We could make fudge! That¡¯s it right there. I¡¯m going to teach that girl my fudge recipe. We¡¯ll make the normal kind with nuts and some special ones without nuts for Jud, and we¡¯ll send some of Becky¡¯s first fudge to her parents. They¡¯ll love that. I think we¡¯ll make the pink lemonade. That¡¯s nice. Was that? Ooh! Oh my little babies! Look! Where¡¯s Becky? Jud? Oh! Look at you! Wow! You¡¯re a big boy aren¡¯t you? Eat your nectar sweet bird. There¡¯s plenty, there¡¯s enough for you and all your little friends. Alright! Fly off and tell them the bar is open! Momma Jean¡¯s got food for everybody! Yay! My little babies! I wish Becky had been here to see him. The first ruby-throat of the season! They don¡¯t have hummingbirds up there in Ohio I don¡¯t think. Maybe? I¡¯m not sure actually. I¡¯ll ask Jud. Wow. Okay. Lemonade. That was a big hummingbird. I hope he comes back. I¡¯ll have to think of a good name for him. He was so big! I¡¯ll call him something like¡­ who¡¯s that really tall basketball player? The white man? Larry Bird? Larry Bird! Oh that¡¯s just too perfect. Larry Bird! I hope Larry Bird comes back so I can show Jud and Becky. Ooh! It¡¯s so exciting! Oh! There¡¯s Jud. Jud! Jud! Jud, my hummingbirds! I saw one. And he was big. He might have been the biggest hummingbird I¡¯ve ever seen. I¡¯m going to call him Larry Bird, but I¡¯m not going to tell you that yet. I¡¯m going to wait until he comes back. Jud! Jud you dog! Don¡¯t pinch me there in the yard. What if that boy in Miss Monica¡¯s airplane house sees? He might make an ugly statue out of us. I don¡¯t want to be an ugly statue. Yes, Becky went to the pool. I made lemonade. Pink. In the fridge. I¡¯m going to use it to catch whatever it is that¡¯s been eating my tomatoes. I think it¡¯s set up right. A tomato. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a raccoon. I don¡¯t know what it is that¡¯s why I wanted to set the trap. I¡¯m not sure how long she¡¯ll be at the pool. I hope it¡¯s a while. I hope you¡¯re thinking what I¡¯m thinking. I think she might have a boy there at the pool. Not her boy from Ohio; that would be crazy. I¡¯m going to ask that Connie girl that lifeguards to keep her eyes open. Can you imagine if that girl got pregnant while we were supposed to be watching her? After they sent her down here for that very same reason. No it would not be funny! Even though I don¡¯t think it would be that bad at all. Well, yes. You can kiss me. Ooh! Ooh, Jud! Look! My hummingbird! He came back! Look at how big he is! He is little, but he¡¯s big for a hummingbird! I¡¯m going to call him Larry Bird. Yes I did come up with that! Ha! He is! He¡¯s the king hummingbird. Oh you¡¯re so bad! Let¡¯s go to the back. Okay? Yes. But let¡¯s try to be quick okay? I don¡¯t want Becky walking in on us. She doesn¡¯t need to see me all bent over like that, and I¡¯m sure she doesn¡¯t want to see your wrinkly behind. She¡¯d go blind. Because it¡¯s so white. Well you¡¯d just glow in the dark. Ha! Okay. Okay, just be¡­ Oh! Oh God, Becky¡¯s back! Hurry up, put your pants on Jud! We¡¯re back here Sweetpea! Just a minute. Put your pants on! What are you doing? Becky, I saw the biggest hummingbird while you were gone! We¡¯re going to call him Larry Bird! Jud lock the door. I don¡¯t want her to see me like this. Chapter Three: Judson Percy How much does satellite TV cost these days? Would Jean like that? Is there anything worth watching? What about the internet? I think you can get the internet over the satellite now, too. Can you watch shows on the internet? Does the girl need the internet? Do I need the internet? What is the internet? Can you look at the internet on your TV or do you have to have a computer? Is the girl supposed to be doing some kind of school work over the summer? Some kind of summer reading? I haven¡¯t seen her read anything. Does she have a list? What grade is she in? How old is she? Jean, what grade is Rebecca in? Does she have any kind of summer reading list? Do they still do that? Because I haven¡¯t seen her reading anything. I guess not. We could go fishing if it rained some. The lake is so low. It¡¯s that El Nino again. Maybe we could take a drive up to Sardis. Or Ross Barnett. Hell, we could go down to Biloxi and do some deep sea fishing. Would the girl like deep sea fishing? I don¡¯t want to take her anywhere if she¡¯s going to be moping around like she is. That girl needs a hobby. Jean likes deep sea fishing. If we go down to the beach, I can get Jean to wear her yellow bikini. That would be real nice. Instead of Biloxi we could head down to Orange Beach and go back to the Florabama. How old is the girl? She ain¡¯t twenty-one I don¡¯t think. Hell, she¡¯s in school. She ain¡¯t even close to being twenty-one. Maybe we can find someone to watch her here. Who do I know that I¡¯d trust with a boy-crazy teenage girl? Someone that ain¡¯t got any balls, first off. Somebody wily enough to keep the girl out of trouble. Julia? We could drop her off with Julia up in Grenada for a week. Jean, you heard from Julia recently? Alaska? What on God¡¯s green earth is she doing in Alaska? Who¡¯d she go on a cruise with? Hershel Evans? How long has she been seeing Hershel? Well good for Hershel. Julia is fine looking woman. She¡¯s a bit of a kook, but to each his own. Heh. I¡¯m glad I met Jean before I met Julia. Jean is the sane twin. I think. Right? Yeah, she¡¯s the sane twin. Julia would be fun, too. But Jean¡¯s way better. She¡¯s so sweet and low maintenance. I could watch her bustle around in the kitchen for hours. What¡¯s she making in there? Jean, what¡¯re you making in here? Yeah? What kind of muffins? Why are you making night muffins? Well just get her and make her make some fudge with you. Want me to go get her? I¡¯ll go get her right now and you can make fudge like you want. Of course I will. Well no body has to make fudge, but¡­ Okay. Yeah, baby, you know I¡¯ll eat your muffins. I¡¯ll eat all your muffins. Jeannie, you¡¯ve got to start standing up to that girl. Walt sent her down here to learn her something, and you¡¯re letting her run roughshod all over you. You¡¯re lucky she hasn¡¯t wandered into town and hitched up with one of those little nigger boys. I¡¯d like to see the look on Walt and what¡¯s-her-name¡¯s faces if the girl came home with a little mulatto in her babymaker. Ha! Sandy? Sally? What¡¯s her name? Sandy? Sandra? Samantha? Sandy? It starts with an S. Ssssmoky? Sandy? Silvia? Silvia? Sarah? Silvia? Say-see-sigh? So? Su? Sue? Not Sue. Ruth? Rhoda? Rachel? No. What is it? Jean? Jean, where¡¯d you go? Dammit. Sue? Silvia? Hey, Jean? What¡¯s¡­? What are you looking at out there? What? Is there a deer out there? Did you catch something in your trap? Want me to go see? Yeah, I¡¯ll go down. Give me a minute. Where are my boots? Jean, where¡¯s my boots? Oh. Here. Thanks, baby. Yeah, the porch light doesn¡¯t quite reach. I¡¯ve thought about it, but¡­ Yeah unless you wanted to do some night gardening. No, we could bury a line, it wouldn¡¯t be too much trouble. We¡¯d have to dig up some of the garden. Maybe. Let me see that flashlight. Yeah. I guess, go get her. Sure. I¡¯ll wait. Is this my Christmas flashlight? I don¡¯t remember. When did I get this flashlight? It¡¯s a good flashlight. Is there anything moving out there? Nope. I bet it¡¯s a possum. Does Ray still buy possums? Is Ray still alive? Shit, didn¡¯t Ray die? Hell. I think I remember hearing about Ray having a heart attack. Is that right? This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. There¡¯s the girls. Alright? You want to go down and check it? Okay. Y¡¯all stay here. Might be rabid. I will. Okay, spray me down. Okay, close the door quick. Damn. We need to get some more Citronella. Jean, add Citronella to the list. Yep, I can feel them. Any get in? I¡¯ve been thinking or rigging up a second fan right around chest level here. Might blow them in two directions at once. Okay, I¡¯m going. They¡¯re just mosquitos. Woo wee! Okay! Get out of here. Don¡¯t get in my mouth, you little bastards. Okay. Naw, once you get out of the light, they¡¯re not so bad! Let¡¯s see. The cage is empty. Something triggered it. What did you have in here as bait?! Naw, it¡¯s gone. Maybe it dragged it out. Maybe I can catch its eyes with the flashlight. Jesus Christ! Ow! Fuck! Jesus. I¡¯m fine Shit. Naw, I¡¯m fine! I just tripped. I said I tripped! Ugh. Okay. Jesus. Here we go. Jesus. Look at that thing. What is that thing supposed to be? Goddamn. Looks like a wooly booger. Jesus. No, I¡¯m coming. I¡¯m coming! I¡¯m coming up. I¡¯m alright. Get ready. Open the door quick. Whoop. Okay. No, I¡¯m okay. No, I tripped. I was scanning out toward the trees to see if I could see what took the bait, and I saw that new statue out there. Yeah. Scared me so bad I fell over. Yeah. I think I knocked down a couple of your tomatoes. Yeah. Naw, it¡¯s my own damn fault. Falling over at a statue. Just surprised me. No, I¡¯m fine. I swear I¡¯m okay, darling. Okay? Yeah. No I don¡¯t think he should take it down. Well that¡¯s my fault. No. That boy has talent. I didn¡¯t think much of it when I saw it this morning, but just now¡­ I don¡¯t know. For a second it looked like it was alive. It looked like a wooly booger stepping out of the woods. Yeah. Yeah, go down and see. Spray yourself real good. You too, Rebecca. Here. Take the flashlight. I¡¯m going to sit down. Go and see. Jesus. I think I rolled my ankle there. Sonofabitch. Aspirin. Yep. Okay. Shit, shit, shit. Okay. Aspirin. Umm¡­ Ah! Okay. Bourbon. Yep. Okay. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Whoo! Okay. Come on Mr. Elijah, you got work to do. Aaah! Damn straight! Damn straight. Okay. Sit down. Yep. Okay. Shit, shit, shit, shit, Oof. Jesus. Yep. That¡¯s pretty bad. Hey! Did you see it? Yeah. See, like I said. It looks different at night. It¡¯s like it was made to be seen with a flashlight or something. Yeah. No, I¡¯m fine. Might have rolled my ankle a little. Naw. It don¡¯t hurt. Yeah. Don¡¯t forget to turn that flashlight off, Rebecca. Alright. Yes. I would love a muffin, yes. I guess we¡¯ll have to ask him tomorrow. Naw, I might buy it from him. You can use it as a scarecrow! Scare away your tomato thief. Jesus. Yep that¡¯s starting to swell up. Jean¡¯s going to notice that. Shit. Naw I¡¯m fine. I tell you, I¡¯m fine. Bring me a muffin, please. What kind of muffins did you say these were? Thank you, honey. Milk would be nice, yes. Thank you. What kind of muffins? Yep, she¡¯s definitely going to notice this. Shit. Yep. I think there¡¯s something broken in there. Yep. Thank you. That is real nice. That is a really nice muffin, darling. Yep. No, thank you that¡¯s all. No I¡¯m fine. No. You don¡¯t need to look at my ankle. No. It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s fine. Don¡¯t. Ah! Shit. Shit. No, it looks worse than it is. It doesn¡¯t even hardly hurt at all. See? Nothing. Just a rolled ankle. Okay, bring me the ice pack. Yeah. See? It¡¯s okay. Naw, I¡¯m just going to sit here for now. No, Rebecca, she can get it herself. She doesn¡¯t need my help. She knows where it is. No, I¡¯m fine. It¡¯s fine. No, I don¡¯t. It¡¯s not broken. It is not. No. I¡¯m not driving all the way up to Cleveland in the middle of the night to go to the hospital. No she can¡¯t. Nope. You can ask her yourself. She can¡¯t drive at night. Nope. We¡¯re not going anywhere and we¡¯re not calling an ambulance and that¡¯s final. If it¡¯s still bad in the morning we¡¯ll go to the doctor, okay? Does that make you happy? Clucking hens, I swear. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I¡¯ll have another muffin. Thank you. I already had some. While y¡¯all were down there looking at that statue. I would like another, in fact. Neat, darling, thank you. Thank you. Aah! Damn straight. Thank the lord for small-batch bourbon. You ever had bourbon, baby girl? How old are you again? Sixteen¡¯s old enough for a little whiskey. Yeah she can. She watched an old man bust his ass in a tomato patch, she can have a sip of whiskey. This is Mississippi, this ain¡¯t Ohio, darling. We make the rules here. Pour the girl a finger. Haha! That¡¯s right. There you go. You have one too, Jean. Yeah! Why not? I broke my damn ankle. Yeah. Yeah, I¡¯ll have another one too. Let¡¯s all have one together. You have one too, Jean. Just a little one, okay. Here we go. Cheers! Aah! Damn straight! Ha! It¡¯s good right? Yeah, it¡¯s supposed to burn. It¡¯s supposed to burn. That¡¯s how you know it¡¯s good. It burns. Chapter Four: Rebecca Barbour It is so hot. This pool is the only thing keeping me alive. If I couldn¡¯t come here and swim, I would literally die. If it were an indoor pool that would be even better. Oh my God. I wonder if there is even a single indoor pool in this whole state. I would be really fucking surprised. At least I¡¯m getting a nice tan. Lindsey will be so jealous. She¡¯ll take one look at me and go running to Miss Laurel¡¯s tanning bed. I¡¯d send her a selfie if there was any service. She¡¯s probably working at Menchie¡¯s right now. A selfie of my sexy tan would piss her off so bad. I could send one to Jodi, too. Would he like that? Of course he would, he¡¯s a boy. Will he care that I have tan lines? Maybe I should go to a tanning salon in Jackson when Granny Jean takes me. Ugh, it¡¯s so fucking hot. I need to get in the water. But I bet the concrete is super hot. Ugh! Why can¡¯t it be sunny and like nice out? It feels like we¡¯re like an inch away from the sun. I¡¯m going to try to swim a hundred laps today. I bet I can do it. If I get a hundred maybe I¡¯ll just keep going. I¡¯ll swim a thousand laps. Maybe I¡¯ll just keep swimming until they close the pool for the day and kick us all out. Maybe I¡¯ll sneak back down here after dark and climb over the fence and swim all night. I¡¯d do it. I¡¯d absolutely do it if it weren¡¯t for the fucking mosquitos everywhere. I don¡¯t think I¡¯d even make it down here to the pool. They¡¯d suck up all my blood before I even got to the end of the road. I am so happy Granny Jean put that mosquito net over my bed. It was stupid, but¡­ you really can hear the mosquitos buzzing around at night trying to get in. Okay, it¡¯s too hot. I¡¯m going in the water. Oh! Ow! The ground is so fucking hot! Oh oh oh oh! Yee! Aaaaah. That is sooooo much better! How do people live here all the time? I didn¡¯t think it was supposed to get this hot this early in the day. Like it¡¯s not even noon yet? At least the water is cool. It feels so good in here. I love the water. I love swimming. La la la! Lu lu lu! I¡¯m going to the deep end, away from all these kids. I wish they had lanes in the pool so I could swim without anybody getting in my way. That would be so nice. But this is Mississippi. I¡¯m surprised there¡¯s chlorine in this pool. Hey, Pocahontas. I¡¯m going to swim some laps. Yeah. She¡¯s so cool. I love her hair. Maybe Granny Jean will let me get pink highlights like that when we go to Jackson. Okay. Put you game face on Rebecca. One hundred laps. You can do this. Do one hundred laps and then we¡¯ll go get some ice cream at the bait shop. Okay. One hundred laps. Let¡¯s fucking do this. It¡¯s on. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. One. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Two. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Three. I. Stay. Up. Too. Late. Four. Got. Nothing. In. My. Brain. Five. That''s. What. People. Say. Huh. Six. That''s. What. People. Say. Huh. Seven. I. Go. On. Too. Many. Eights. Ha! But. I. Can''t. Make. Them. Nine. That''s. What. People. Say. Huh. Ten! What? Oh. No, go ahead. Go ahead and jump! Do it! Do a flip! Ha! Bellyflop! Kids are stupid. Ha! Swim over here. Give him some room. Is that your brother? Does he know how to swim? Yeah. You do it to now! Jump in! Don¡¯t be scared. If anything happens Pocahontas will save you. Yeah! Right over there! Hey Pocahontas! Tell the kids you¡¯ll help them if they have any trouble. See? She¡¯s like a professional swimmer. Plus it¡¯s like her job, so she has to save you if you start to drown or they¡¯ll fire her. Okay? You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Look, I¡¯ll go first. Okay, stay right there. You¡¯ve got to walk kinda fast because the ground is so hot, but don¡¯t run or you might fall and bust your booty. Okay? Watch. Just come out like this. Don¡¯t look down. And just jump out at far as you can. Okay? Watch! Hup! Wee! Huuuh! See? It¡¯s easy! Now you go. You can do it! Okay. That¡¯s good! Jump! Yaaaay! Now swim over here. What¡¯s my name? I¡¯m Becky. What¡¯s your name? No way! Lindsey¡¯s my best friend¡¯s name! Yeah! She¡¯s up in Ohio. That¡¯s where I¡¯m from. I¡¯m down here visiting my grandmother. She lives by the Airplane House. Have you seen that? Yeah, it¡¯s pretty cool. And your name? Where are you guys from? Where is that? That¡¯s pretty far to drive. There isn¡¯t a pool anywhere in town? Not even at someone¡¯s house? How did you learn to swim? Where¡¯s that? That¡¯s even further away! Why don¡¯t people have pools around here? Do animals get in the pool? Alligators! There are alligators? I guess that explains the fence, huh? Who are you here with? Which one¡¯s your mom? Ooh. She¡¯s really pretty. I love her swimsuit. Is that your dad? Hmm. What¡¯s his name? Hmm. Hmm hmm hmm. Well, I was actually doing laps. I wanted to do a hundred today. Only ten so far. Yeah. Well, I don¡¯t have to do laps. We could¡­ Is that? That sounds like¡­ That sounds like an airplane. Where is it? Does anybody see it? Listen to it! Wow. Wow! Wow that is LOUD! WOW! WHERE IS IT? IT SOUNDS LIKE IT¡¯S COMING DOWN RIGHT ON TOP OF US! POCAHONTAS! WHAT IS THAT? LINDSEY! JOSHUA, COME ON! LETS GET OUT! FUCK! WHERE IS IT COMING FROM? IT¡¯S SO FUCKING LOUD! FUCK! IT¡¯S EVERYWHERE! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY TEETH! THIS IS CRAZY! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE ---- -- -- --- - ---- ---- ---- ------ ----- -- -- --- ---- --- ---- -- ---- - ---- ---- -- ----- -- --- -- --- -- --- ---- -- ---- -- --- -- ---- FUCK IS that? Oh. Fuck my ears! What? Whoa. No, I¡¯m okay. Are you okay? Yeah. You heard all that right? What was that? I don¡¯t know? I thought it was a plane. Did you see anything? No. I didn¡¯t hear an explosion or anything. That¡¯s so fucking weird. No, go to your mom. No, I¡¯m going home to check on my grandmother. Okay. It was nice meeting you. That was crazy. What was that? Where are my shoes? Is everything in my bag? Okay. Okay. No I don¡¯t know. Did you see anything? What do you mean a nuke? Who would want to nuke Mississippi? Why would they nuke a bridge? How far away is that? Would we be safe here, there¡¯s like radiation and stuff right? Holy shit. That¡¯s not true? What the fuck? It was an airplane right? What the fuck! I¡¯m going home. I¡¯m going home. I¡¯m going home. Oh my God. Oh my God! If they nuked Mississippi they must have nuked Ohio. Oh! Oh no! Oh no, please! Mommy! Daddy! Please no. Oh God please! Fuck! Fuck this can¡¯t be happening. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Please! Okay, breath. Breath. Okay. It wasn¡¯t a nuke. It wasn¡¯t. That doesn¡¯t make any sense. That guy was just talking out of his ass. Who was that guy? What an asshole. All the kids could hear him talking like that. Fuck that guy. Fuck! Nope. Everything¡¯s fine. That was an airplane flying by. That¡¯s all. Why couldn¡¯t we see it? I don¡¯t know. It was so loud. Don¡¯t worry about it. Nope. Wow this shade is really nice. I almost feel cool. That¡¯s nice. Mmm. It feels good. What time is it? What? How did it get to be 1 PM? That¡¯s weird. Maybe I swam longer than I thought. How many laps did I do? It was a hundred right? That would probably take a while, right? You know, it¡¯s a really nice day today. Grandma! Hey! What are you doing out here? Just walking back from the pool. Nah, I played with some kids. From Boyle? Where¡¯s that? Nah, I just got tired of swimming, I guess. I did a hundred laps. Yeah! It¡¯s a really nice day today, right? I feel really good. Granny Jean, you said you wanted to make fudge right? Could we make fudge tonight? I know you made muffins last night, but would it be alright if we made fudge? I don¡¯t know, I just feel like we should make fudge. Yeah. I really feel really good. Ha ha! I feel like I could dance! Granny Jean, do you want some flowers? Look at these flowers! We could make flower crowns! We could make a flower crown for Jud and make him wear it and take his picture! Oh my God, let¡¯s make flower crowns! Yass! Granny Jean? Where¡¯d you go? You left your flower crown! I¡¯ll take it home for you. Wow! Look at all these flower crowns! Did we make all these? Where¡¯s Granny Jean? Why is it so dark? Is it supposed to get dark this early? There¡¯s the house! I love this place! Granny Jean? Jud? Is anybody home? I¡¯ve got flower crowns! I feel really good. I feel like I could dance! I need to put on some music! Where¡¯s my iPhone? I feel amazing! Oh my God! I love this! I feel amazing! Granny Jean?! Jud?! Does anyone else feel like dancing? Where is everybody? Granny Jean! Have you heard this song? Nana nana na! Nana nana na! Nana nana na-a-a! Mmm-mmm! Nana nana na-a-a! Mmm-mmm! Oh my God! Yes! Yes! Does anybody else feel that?! Nana nana na-a-a! Mmm-mmm! Nana na cruising! Can''t stop! Won''t stop moving! It''s like I got this music in my body! And it''s gonna be alright! Chapter Five: Jean-Louise Barbour Something is eating my tomatoes. Look at this. There was a tomato here yesterday. Where¡¯d it go? I¡¯ll tell you one thing and that is that tomatoes don¡¯t just walk away. No sir, they don¡¯t. Something is eating them. Something smart. Something smart enough to trick that trap. But he can¡¯t trick me. I¡¯m going to catch him. I worked way too hard on these tomatoes to let some little critter get them all. Maybe I¡¯ll sit out here tonight with Jud¡¯s squirrel rifle and shoot it when it comes up. Or maybe I could sit up on the porch with the squirrel rifle. Anyway I¡¯m going to get a hold of Jud¡¯s squirrel rifle and shoot that little tomato thieving critter right in his little brain. Hey, Sweetpea. Yeah? Cobb salad. Tell him I want a Cobb salad. And sweet tea. Could you check and see if we have any more sweet tea. I think Jud might have drunk the last of it already. Thanks, Sweetpea. I hope Jud didn¡¯t drink up all the tea. I¡¯d really like some tea right now. I should have brought a water bottle down here with me. I¡¯m really thirsty. Where¡¯s that hose? Jud must have rolled it up somewhere. Dammit. When I see that little tomato thief I¡¯m going to put one right in his little skull. His head will pop like a tomato. Red and juicy everywhere. Red and juicy like runny little tomato waterfalls. Oh yes. That¡¯ll show him. Yes sir. I¡¯m the only one who gets to have tomatoes. Hmm? Tell him French! Is there any tea left? No I¡¯ll make some! Ooh. That¡¯s a good question. See if they have any of that Key lime pie! I love that Key lime pie. I¡¯m so thirsty. I guess I¡¯ll go make that tea. You watch my tomatoes, ugly statue. All these tomatoes better be here when I get back, understand? If you let that little tomato thief steal any more of my tomatoes I¡¯m going to put a bullet in your little statue brain, too. Oof, these stairs. I¡¯m sore. Woof, come on girl. You¡¯re not that old. You¡¯re only fifty-one. I hope I¡¯m not getting sick. I better take some vitamin C just in case. Hey, mmmwa! How¡¯s your foot? Did you order lunch yet? How long? Tea won¡¯t be ready by then. Could you pick up some tea from the bait shop? I really want some tea. I¡¯m thirsty. I¡¯ll get it started anyway. First I need some water. Aah yeah that¡¯s good. This water is so good. Jud, are you using a new filter? The water tastes great! Try it. See? No, it¡¯s different. It tastes just wonderful. Yummy. Where¡¯s my vitamin C? Graaagh! Ugh! Ugh! Dear Lord. That is terrible. There is something wrong with that. I¡¯m okay. I think the vitamin C has turned? As in it has gone bad. Yeah. I didn¡¯t know it did that either. I thought it lasted forever. Woowee! No sir! It even smells bad. You are going right in the trash. Yes sir. This water is delicious. I wonder how good it will make the tea taste. I bet it will be good. Let¡¯s see. I¡¯ve got my Liptons. Jud did you make coffee this morning? Did you rinse out the pot? Well I¡¯m going to rinse it again anyway. I don¡¯t want coffee-tea. I don¡¯t think anyone¡¯s ever wanted that before. Yuck. Tea¡¯s cooking! How long did you say for the food? I guess I¡¯m going to get it? Well your foot¡­ Really!? Well I think that is just a wonderful idea! That would! And then after lunch you can go out and find some turn roads. You know, I learned to drive out on the turn roads. I sure did. Your daddy did too. It¡¯s a family tradition is what it is. Yes sir. We¡¯ll write your daddy a note and send it with the fudge. He¡¯ll be so proud of you learning how to drive. We might even bust out the old Polaroid and take a picture of you driving. Wouldn¡¯t that be great? Alright. Jud be careful going down the steps. I¡¯ll lay everything out. We¡¯re eating at the table, hear? Ooh, Becky! I¡¯m so proud of you! Be careful! There she goes. Not the mailbox! Phew! There she goes. I¡¯m going to change out of these dirty clothes. That¡¯s what I¡¯m going to do. Let¡¯s get fresh and clean. But first I¡¯ll drink a little more water. Just because it tastes so good. You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. There we go. You go in the hamper, and you go in the hamper too. Do I have any clean bras? There we go. It¡¯s almost time to throw this one away. I can get a new bra when we go into Jackson. Hmm. Maybe we can find Becky one of those gel bras I read about for flat-chested girls. Poor girl. Look at my ass. Tut. Look at my arms? Is that dirt? What is that? Are these bruises? On my legs? Jesus. No wonder I¡¯m so sore. What¡¯s this all about? Jud wasn¡¯t that rough. Hell he wasn¡¯t rough at all. Did I fall out of the bed? Have I been sleepwalking? I don¡¯t feel any new mosquito bites, so I didn¡¯t sleepwalk out onto the porch and fall down the stairs. Feels like it though. I¡¯m going to get some aspirin. Or maybe some Tylenol. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. Aspirin. And a little water. Schlorp! Mmmm! It¡¯s so good! What did that man put in there for a filter? Do you think some teenagers snuck over the levee and put drugs in the tank? Isn¡¯t there a drug that makes you really like how water tastes? Where¡¯s my rinsing cup? Gulp! Mmmm, it¡¯s so good. Gulp! Mmmm. I just want to stick my face in it. Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Mmmm! I wish this stopper wasn¡¯t broken. I¡¯d fill up the sink. I could stick my face in the water. I wonder¡­ Well, it looks clean. I cleaned this last week right? Of course. I mean. Look at all that delicious water. It¡¯s just sitting in there. Nobody¡¯s drinking it. It¡¯d be a travesty to flush it, right? It tastes so good. Maybe if I¡­ Unh. If I¡­ Lift the seat. Yeah. There we go! Gulp! It¡¯s so good! It feels so good on my face. Gulp! Schlorp! Gulp! Mmmm! Mmmm! Oh my goodness! What am I doing? There¡¯s all that water still in the tank! I bet I can reach it! Ugh! That¡¯s heavy. Ugh. My neck¡¯s too short. Damn. I wish my neck were longer. Well I can reach in with the cup. Oooh. It¡¯s so cold! Gulp! Yes. Gulp. Oh it¡¯s even better cold! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Oh it¡¯s so good. Yes sir! Who needs tea when you have water like this? Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp. More! Yes, flush it. More water. Yes. Ugh, it¡¯s not as cold! Dammit! Dammit. Hmmm. They¡¯ll be back with the food soon. I better put some clothes on. Oop! No, I¡¯m back here! Damn, that girl¡¯s going to think her old grandma¡¯s a nudist. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Now, that¡¯s better. All presentable like. I¡¯m here! Oh I forgot to put out the silverware. I¡¯ll get it. No I just forgot. Did I what? Shower? SHOWER! Oh, no I didn¡¯t. I just ran some water through my hair. Rinse the dirt out. You know. What did y¡¯all get? They do make good cheeseburgers, but they¡¯re so greasy. Well I didn¡¯t say it was a bad thing, I was just saying. They are good cheeseburgers. I guess y¡¯all don¡¯t really need knives or forks. Do either of you want ketchup? How about some Country Bob¡¯s? Here you go. Did you get my tea? Oh, thank you. Did they have any of that Key lime pie? Oh well. You can¡¯t always get Key lime pie. Who wants to say grace? I¡¯ll do it. Hmm. God is great, God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen. This salad looks delightful. Yes. What did you get on your burger, Sweetpea? I thought you didn¡¯t like pickles. You know what we can do? We can make Kool-Aid pickles. They are weird. They¡¯re weird but they¡¯re good. Just like Jud! Ha! Hmmm. This salad¡¯s not very good. Something¡¯s wrong with the dressing. It¡¯s got something new in it, I think. Well, I wasn¡¯t very hungry anyway. Would you like some salad? No, thanks. No, I¡¯m just not very hungry. I hope I¡¯m not getting sick. The tea¡¯s not very good either. It tastes dirty. I wonder what kind of tea bags they¡¯re using over there. This hardly tastes like tea. Yuck. I am thirsty though. Jud, do you want my tea? I don¡¯t like whatever tea bags they¡¯re using. No, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve got tea cooking. In fat I bet it¡¯s ready to stir now. I¡¯ll get it. Did you have fun on your drive? That¡¯s good. You¡¯re right. No you don¡¯t want to run over any sweet little animals. Unless it¡¯s that tomato thief. You can run over him all you want. No, y¡¯all go without me. I think I¡¯m going to go back down to the garden. I think I should give everything a good watering. It¡¯s been so dry lately. It is nice out, if it would rain just a little it would be even nicer. I guess so. No, you all go. I¡¯ll clean up. Go have fun! Where are you going to take her? That makes since. Just be careful on the levee, Sweetpea. Okay? It¡¯s not as steep as it looks. Okay. Mwa! Don¡¯t let her kill you, Mr. Man. Mmmmmwa! Go have fun. It¡¯s good that they¡¯re spending time together. I want them to like each other. He might be her grandfather one day. You never know. I think he¡¯d marry me. I¡¯d marry him in a heartbeat. We could bring down Walt and Cynthia, and Julia can bring Hershel. We¡¯d have a small wedding at a country church and afterwards Jud and I¡¯d ride off in a pretty little horse-and-buggy. I think I¡¯d look pretty in a wedding dress. I¡¯d like to see what that looks like. That would be nice. Yes sir. That would be nice. I am so thirsty. Chapter Six: Judson Percy Okay now. I want you to start off real easy. Remember what you learned this morning. Yep. Look back when you¡¯re backing up. That¡¯s rule one. You have to look back when you¡¯re backing up so you don¡¯t run anything or anybody over. No, don¡¯t apologize, just use it as a learning experience. That¡¯s what this is all about. Don¡¯t worry about it. Damn if it ain¡¯t a nice day out! Let¡¯s go. Let¡¯s ease out. Okay. Keep your hands at ten and two. Like this. Like on a clock. Yep. That¡¯s right. There we go. Remember which pedal¡¯s which. There we go. Doing good. See! Didn¡¯t even come close to hitting the mailbox this time. Every time a little bit better. I¡¯m telling you. This is the best way to learn. Throw you in the deep end. Exactly. Let¡¯s head on down to the end of the road here and turn right. Well, there¡¯s not really a speed limit out here, but I like to not really go over ten miles per hour. You want to go slower on gravel than on pavement, because there¡¯s always a risk of sliding or slinging stones. So take it real easy. There we go. Just keep her straight. That was a rolling stop. That¡¯s okay out here, but if you try that at a stop sign and a cop sees you, he¡¯ll pull you over for sure. Yep, you want to come to a complete stop. That¡¯s rule one. Nope, not that. That¡¯s probably rule eight or none. Nope, rule one is never let a cop catch you doing anything illegal. That¡¯s rule one. Go to the end of this road here and turn left. She¡¯s pretty quick. Look at that. Full stop. Good job. Now left. Okay, keep going to the end of this road here. Yep we¡¯re going past the pool. We¡¯re going over the levee. Okay, left at the pool. Ease on over. Okay. Keep your eyes on the road, Becky-girl. That pool isn¡¯t going anywhere. I guarantee it. Go on over the cattle gap. Ease on over. Yeah, it¡¯s bumpy. It keeps the cows from crossing over. They try to walk over it and their legs fall through the bars. Keeps them on the outside. Some people call it a Texas gate. Yep. That¡¯s right, it¡¯s so you don¡¯t have to get out of your truck to get through a fence. Naw, there ain¡¯t nothing down there it¡¯s just a hole. Keep on going. This next part is going to be a little rough for you. Nobody likes going up and down the levee at first. Yeah, it can be scary. I was scared the first time I drove up the levee. All you¡¯ve got to do is stay on the road and go slow. It ain¡¯t as steep as it feels. Just keep going steady. We ain¡¯t going to tip over. Don¡¯t worry. Yeah. I¡¯ve done it a thousand and one times. You can do it. Okay. Ease on up. Follow the road. There we go. Nope, you¡¯re good. You¡¯re good. You¡¯re good. You¡¯re good. You¡¯re getting there. You¡¯re good. Keep on going. Stop squealing. Keep going. You¡¯re good. There! Whoop! Keep on the road. Hold it up here for a second. Whew. No, that was good. That was real good. Only about tipped over three times. I¡¯m kidding! I¡¯m kidding! Ok, now just like before. Ease on down the road. Stay up here. Keep your eyes on the road. Cross over that cattle gap up ahead and we¡¯re going to veer to the right and down the levee. You¡¯ll see where. Well, if someone comes we¡¯ll just pull over as far over as we can and let them pass. I¡¯ll keep my eyes on the edge on this side. I won¡¯t let us roll over. Don¡¯t worry. Ease on down the road. Get on down the road, Becky-girl. Get on past the cattle gap. We won¡¯t fall through. Come on. Huh? Do you have your foot on the brake? Hold on a second. Put her in park. Yeah. Okay. Put her in drive. Give her some gas. Huh. That¡¯s weird. Put her back in park. Kill the engine. Okay, sit tight. Oof. That smarts. Hmm. Doesn¡¯t feel hot. No knocking. Scoot over. Hmmm. It¡¯s doing something. Are we caught on something. Becky hop on out. Look under the truck for me. See if we¡¯re hung up on something or dragging. Feels like the truck¡¯s trying to go, but something¡¯s holding it back. I don¡¯t see anything either. Thought we might be trailing a fence. Okay, let¡¯s try this. Hop back in the truck. Nope, you¡¯re driving. Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. Ok, throw her in reverse. Don¡¯t run me over. Just try to keep her straight and go real slow. Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m watching you like a hawk. Just get clear of where you were sitting. I don¡¯t know what it might have been. I don¡¯t know. Just weird. Everything looks good. Nothing on the road here. Oof. Oof. Oof. Dang ankle. Alright come on up again. Okay, so it¡¯s not the transmission. It¡¯ll go. Here we go. Shit. Why is that happening? Give it some more gas! Give it all the gas! Put the pedal to the metal, Becky-girl! That¡¯s a bit dangerous, but no need to tell her that. Son of a bitch. What the hell is going on here? That is weird. What am I not seeing here? This is really weird. Why won¡¯t you go, old girl? What¡¯s the holdup? Hop on out. Something weird is going on. It¡¯s almost like we¡¯re running into something. You didn¡¯t see nothing when you checked? Well I can¡¯t get down there. Let me walk a ways down so I can see underneath. Stay here. Son of a bitch. Wanted to teach the girl so I wouldn¡¯t have to do to much on my foot, now I got to march down the damn levee. Well, that¡¯s just the way it goes, I guess. I don¡¯t know if I can maneuver over that cattle gap. Can¡¯t see shit from here. I guess I can get down there on the ground and look under if I absolutely have to. I¡¯ll need the girl¡¯s help to get back up. Damn. I don¡¯t get it. Maybe somebody buried a big magnet in the road and it¡¯s grabbing hold of us. Might be some college kid shit. Huh? What are you talking about? What¡¯s wrong? Hey! Hey! What¡¯s wrong!? Why? Why!? What!? Whoa! Shit! Hold on, girl! Jesus. I¡¯m coming. Shit. Shit. Shit. God. Damn. Foot. What¡¯s wrong! Hey? Are you okay? Shit! Fuck! Is she breathing? Sweet Jesus. Come on. Becky. Hey! Hey Becky! Come on girl! I can¡¯t carry you. Shit! Come on! Let¡¯s go! Up we go. Come on. Okay, Becky-girl. Watch your head. There you go! Hold on. There we go. There we go. Okay. Shit. Come on. Come on. Let¡¯s go. Stay with me Becky. Come on. What the fuck is going on here? Jesus. Did she get too hot? What the hell? Okay, stay with me. We¡¯re going to do your favorite thing here. We¡¯re backing up all the way down. Let¡¯s go! I¡¯m driving down the road and I¡¯m flirting with disaster! Come on, Becky. Becky! Can you hear me? Becky? Sweet Jesus. You okay? Jesus, girl. You about gave me a heart attack. You¡¯re grandma would skin me alive if I let anything happen to you. Jesus. You fell right out. You started screaming and carrying on and then you fell right out. I don¡¯t know. Do you feel alright? What do you mean? Why? I don¡¯t get it. Why, though? I¡¯m going to take you home anyway. Something is wrong here. She¡¯s talking nonsense. I think she had a heat stroke, except it ain¡¯t even hot. Shit what if this is some kind of teenager brain thing that¡¯s happening? Shit. No, no, you¡¯re right. We¡¯re going home. I¡¯ll drive. We¡¯re going to back all the way up. Nope, we¡¯re not going down the way we came up. We¡¯re going the other way. Here. If I keep backing up, I can¡­ see? Throw her in drive and go straight down. And it¡¯s not as bad going down as it is coming up see? You¡¯ll see next time you drive. We¡¯ll figure out what went wrong and hit it again tomorrow. Don¡¯t you fret. Jesus. She seems okay now. What the hell was that all about? What went on back there? Do you think that was all just an act? Was she scared of driving on the levee? But how would she have stopped the truck? That can¡¯t be it. What was it though? I don¡¯t get it. Could a giant magnet pull a truck to a stop and make a girl start acting crazy? What the hell¡¯s going on here? Okay, over the cattle gap again. That¡¯s what she was screaming about. That cattle gap. I don¡¯t get it. Who would put a giant magnet in the levee? Do you think it was that damn Grimmett boy? Was that some kind of fancy college art thing? Was he filming all that? I don¡¯t think so. He¡¯s odd, but he ain¡¯t a bad kid. He just likes to smoke grass and make scary statues. He¡¯s not trouble. Could it have been the government? Shit, Jud. What are you even thinking? You don¡¯t even know if it was a magnet or not. You sound like Hershel. Don¡¯t be a damn fool. You don¡¯t know what it was. You¡¯ll figure it out. Let¡¯s get this girl home. Okay. How you holding up, Becky-girl? Yeah? That¡¯s good. You want some ice cream or something from the bait shop? My treat? Okay then. I was going to have us run over to Benoit to see if anybody had some Key lime pie for Jean. Well shit. There goes that plan. Maybe I should have taken Becky to the doctor or something? She seems okay now. I¡¯ll ask Jean. Maybe she¡¯ll know. Falling out like that might just be a teenage girl thing. I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t think so, though. I don¡¯t know. Something ain¡¯t right. Chapter Seven: Rebecca Barbour I don¡¯t know what Jud¡¯s talking about? We went on a nice drive. I¡¯m a good driver, even though I¡¯m just starting. I don¡¯t think I messed up too bad. I think it¡¯s mostly stuff that I just don¡¯t know I¡¯m supposed to do? I think I¡¯ll be way better next time Jud takes me out. I think so. That¡¯s right. We¡¯ll be better next time. I¡¯ll be better next time. I¡¯m going to be the best driver around. When I go back home I¡¯m going to get my license and then I¡¯ll drive all over town. I¡¯ll drive myself to the mall and I¡¯ll drive myself to beach. Lindsey will be super jealous because she¡¯s only fifteen. I won¡¯t need to get rides from Jodi anymore. I miss Jodi. I miss Jodi so much. I wish I could talk to him. I miss being in his arms. I always felt so safe when he held me. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him so much. I need to talk to him. I need to figure out a way to call him. Maybe I could write him a letter? Ooh, then he¡¯d write me a letter back! That would be so romantic. I¡¯ll write him a love letter. Why didn¡¯t I think of this before? What a great idea! Wow. I¡¯ll have to see if Granny Jean has any paper for letters. And I guess I¡¯ll need an envelope too. And a stamp? Where do you get all that stuff? I bet Granny Jean has all that stuff. Old people send lots of letters. Granny Jean? Do you have like all the stuff you need to send a letter? Like stamps? I want to write a letter to Jodi. Because I just do, okay? I want him to write me a letter back? Do you have stamps and stuff like that? Okay, I¡¯ll ask Jud. What are you doing? Will that keep it out? What¡¯s to stop it from just climbing over the fence? I don¡¯t know. Where¡¯s Jud. His truck¡¯s not here. Maybe he¡¯s down at the bait shop. I could walk down there and see if they have the stuff I need. Yeah, okay. Granny Jean! I¡¯m going to walk down to the bait shop! Okay! I need to decide what I¡¯m going to put in my letter to Jodi. It needs to say to show him how much I love him. I want him to cry when he reads it, but I don¡¯t want him to tell me he cried. He¡¯ll no better than that, I hope. I think. It¡¯s a really nice day. I¡¯m glad that heat wave broke. It¡¯s so nice down here in the summer. I see why Granny Jean wanted to move down here. It¡¯s so nice. It¡¯s not muggy anymore at all. I think I¡¯m going to say something like maybe Dear Jodi. Or maybe Dearest Jodi. Ooh or I could say like Dearest Joseph. Ooh I like that one. Dearest Joseph. Oooh what if like I wrote him like a Civil War love letter. Like they talked about in English class. Like they used to write so eloquent and cool back then. What if I went away to Mississippi for the summer and came back all eloquent and graceful like a Southern Belle? I mean my Dad¡¯s from here, so I¡¯m half Southern anyway. And people are always making fun of my Dad¡¯s accent. What if I started talking like that? They¡¯d probably start making fun of my accent too, but what if it was like one of those like genteel accents like in old Civil War movies. Not like Dad or Jud or even Granny Jean. They sound like hillbillies. Granny Jean not as much, but still a little. What if I wrote him a letter in like that kind of Southern lady Southern Belle style and like also¡­ also like I need to let him know I miss him and love him so much. Like when we graduate I want to get married. I¡¯m not going to tell him that though. I¡¯m going to like say it without saying it. I need to be a little coy, I think. In the letter. I need to watch some old movies and see how the Southern Belles act in the movies. I¡¯ll ask Granny Jean what movies I should watch. Or maybe I¡¯ll just ask Jud. I think I might have to start dressing different. Like I don¡¯t think Southern Belles wear halter tops. I wish there were some girls my age around so I could see what they wear. But they probably wouldn¡¯t be Southern Belles anyway? I think we are pretty deep into hillbilly country. Is hillbilly the right word? Like there aren¡¯t any hills anywhere. Like it¡¯s all really flat except for the levee, and I don¡¯t think that counts. Like can you even be a hillbilly if there aren¡¯t any hills. Are they rednecks? No, that doesn¡¯t seem right. Like Granny Jean is not a redneck. Jud might be a little bit of a redneck. But not Granny Jean. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. There¡¯s not a lot of people in the pool. I could swim! But I should go see if I can find Jud. I could check in the bait shop and then swim. Jud might not even be at the bait shop. I don¡¯t really like the bait shop. It smells kind of funky in there. Plus I guess Jud will come back home eventually. I¡¯ll ask him when he gets back. I¡¯ll swim instead. Yeah! It¡¯s so much nicer now! The concrete isn¡¯t hot at all. I wonder if the water will be too cold since it isn¡¯t so hot out. I hope not. That guy doesn¡¯t seem to care. Well we¡¯ll see. Hey Pocahontas! Ugh, she¡¯s so cool. I want hair like that. Can a Southern Belle have hair like that? She¡¯d probably tell me I can have my hair like any way I want it. Like a Southern Belle can be anything. Ugh. I hate that. Like I want to look like a Southern Belle, not like just whatever I¡¯m a Southern Belle now. I want people to know. I want people to see what I¡¯m going for. But her hair is so cool! Ugh! I wish there was a place to put my stuff. Like a locker or something. Ugh. I hate leaving everything out in the open like this. I don¡¯t even have my bag. I¡¯ll just fold up my shorts and put my phone in the middle. Not that it would matter if it was stolen because I can¡¯t call anybody! I guess all my music is on there. Yeah, let¡¯s put that there. Should I jump right in or try it out first. It might be cold. I¡¯ll try it out first. I¡¯ll just stick my little foot in and¡­ it¡¯s not cold at all. It¡¯s nice! Alright! Here we go! Oooh! It¡¯s so nice! I love the water. Anybody who doesn¡¯t love swimming is not my friend! Ha! I love it. It¡¯s so nice. Aaah. I wish I could breathe water so I could swim under the water and just be down there for like an hour. That would be so nice. To just be surrounded by water! Like I wish I was a mermaid. That¡¯s so stupid, but I wish it were true. It would be so cool to be a mermaid. Like a Southern Belle mermaid. That would be cool. With an undercut like Pocahontas! No. That doesn¡¯t work. Like there have to be some rules or anything can just be anything and it¡¯s not as fun. Southern Belle¡¯s don¡¯t have undercuts. Southern Belles have long flowing hair and maybe they curl it at the ends? It¡¯s wavy and flowing, like the water. They have mermaid hair! Ha! That¡¯s great. I need to grow my hair out. Really long. Like not Rapunzel long, but pretty long. I¡¯ll need to find out what Southern Belle¡¯s wear. I don¡¯t think I can wear like a big gown everywhere. Like I bet those things are crazy expensive too. What do Southern girls wear when they go to parties? Like I bet they wear what we wear in Ohio. Just normal clothes. I don¡¯t know. This might be harder than I thought. Maybe it¡¯s more about attitude than clothes. Like how does a Southern Belle act? Like I know they¡¯re graceful and eloquent and stuff. I don¡¯t know what else. I don¡¯t think they put out. Hmm. Would Jodi stop liking me if I stopped putting out? Would he break up with me? No I don¡¯t want that. Plus I like it a lot. Maybe I¡¯ll put a condition on it, though. Like I¡¯ll only put out if Jodi starts acting like a Gentleman or something. Like Southern Belles only let real gentlemen fuck them. Jodi can¡¯t be a Southern gentleman though. His family is from Canada. He could be Northern Gentleman. Ooh! We¡¯d be a Southern Lady and a Northern Gentleman! That¡¯s so cool. Like when we get married we could have a Civil War themed wedding! Ooh. Ooh I need to read a book about the Civil War or something. Watch a movie. I bet Jud knows some good Civil War movies. There must be tons of Civil War stuff all around. Like they actually fought it down here right? I bet there¡¯s battlefields and stuff. Maybe I can get Granny Jean and Jud to take me to a battlefield. Or like a Civil War reenactment. That would be cool. I need to go find Jud. I need to ask him about letter stuff and about Civil War stuff. I didn¡¯t see his truck at the bait shot, but he might be back at the house. I should go see if he¡¯s home. There¡¯s a lot I need to do. I should really get out of the pool and go back to the house. But the pool¡¯s so nice. I¡¯m so relaxed. It¡¯s so nice. I¡¯ll talk to Jud later. I¡¯ll just keep swimming for a while.