《I Was Reincarnated as a Potion Brewer》 Chapter 1, Arrival I know the trope, some loser gets hit by a truck, meets an angel or some other kind of cosmic entity who offers them a new life as some sort of ¡°chosen one,¡± and wakes up in a fantasy world with elves and goblins that somehow operates like a roleplaying game. I should be so lucky. Okay, sure, I got the goblins and RPG mechanics, but instead of a quick death by vehicular collision I slowly withered away for six months with an inoperable brain tumor. I¡¯ll spare you the details of the chemotherapy, and the radiation, and my insurance finally giving out, I know you¡¯d rather hear about what happened after I finally croaked. I also don¡¯t recall meeting any kind of psychopomp who could give me a warning about what was in store for me. Rather I went straight from half-delirious fading into unconsciousness, to feeling hard gravel press into my face. Naturally, once I felt this rocky abrasion I sprang to my feet. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had regained most of the strength the cancer had taken. No aches, no pains, I could even stand for extended periods without fainting. Of course, the pleasantries didn¡¯t last, starting with my clothes. I was wearing some kind of roughspun brown tunic, underneath I wore something halfway between very light sweatpants and leggings, and then a pair of thin leather boots. The whole thing itched something awful. I looked around my surroundings, I was standing in the middle of what looked like a dirt road that stretched off into what felt like the east and west. It looked rough, the width varied anywhere from five to twelve feet and it curved around rises and dips in the landscape. I suspected it had been less ¡°built¡± and more ¡°trampled over time.¡± I tried to look off in the distance in either direction, I couldn¡¯t see anyone, just a forest one way and distant mountains in the other, but I presumed that the presence of the road/path was a sign that there were people in the area. With a sigh I took a seat on a slightly less rocky patch of road and listened. From the direction of the forest I heard birds chirping and the occasional more mammalian sound, for all I knew those woods were full of predators with no fear of humans. Coming from the mountains I didn¡¯t hear anything for a while, but after a short while I started to hear the stamping of feet, and clinking of metal. People! I thought immediately. I leapt to my feet again and started off towards the sound of what I presumed to be my saviors. I climbed the hill blocking my line of sight waving my hands excitedly and calling out ¡°hey, I¡¯m lost here. You guys know where I am?¡± However, the moment I was able to see the source of the noise my sense of relief evaporated in a metaphorical puff of smoke. Before I could truly process what I was seeing, a meter-long sharpened stick sailed through the air and slammed into my shoulder. As I staggered back my hand almost reflexively grabbed hold and yanked the stick out, and I saw blood leak from the wound. A red line flashed in the upper right of my vision, but at the time I didn¡¯t pay it any mind, I was too busy turning to run for my life! I dashed my way back down the hill I¡¯d just scaled, clanking and hissing noises coming from behind me. Another crude javelin sailed over my head, shattering on the trail in front of me, naturally I started to run even faster. I had never run so fast for so long in any gym class, but I had never had such motivation before. As I felt lactic acid build up in my throat and my lungs start to burn I spotted a yellow bar in the upper right of my vision. While still running I tried to read the faint letters and numerals in the bar. Stamina: 25/30 I blinked repeatedly, trying to get the apparent visual representation of my exhaustion to disappear, but all it did was shrink gradually by the second, evoking a fresh sense of panic as I wondered what would happen when it reached zero. While I was focusing on the stamina meter I apparently wasn¡¯t paying attention to the road, my foot stubbed itself on a rock sticking out of the dirt and I stumbled for a half-second before catching myself. Before I had the chance to start running again, though, I felt something slam into my calves from behind and wrap around my ankles. The sudden impact sent me falling forwards, I threw my hands out in front of me to try and break my fall, which proved a mistake. Pain shot up my right forearm, far worse than anything I¡¯d ever felt before. As I laid there processing the pain the yellow bar was replaced by a red one, and I read it quickly. Health: 6/10 Injury Sustained: Sprained ankle (left) Injury Sustained: Broken forearm (right) I glanced down at my feet, there was a cord wrapped around both ankles with two small stones about half the size of my fist tied to the ends. The things chasing me clearly didn¡¯t want me to run away. I looked up to get a better idea of what was coming after me. Half a dozen short reptilian creatures, each about two and a half feet tall, dressed in a patchwork of leather reinforced with bits of rusted metal, most brandishing simple spears and clubs. A slightly taller reptile, nearly three feet tall, whom I presumed to be the leader held a cutlass that looked comically oversized for the little lizard. If I hadn¡¯t been focused on untying the bolas wrapped around my legs I might have laughed. Kobolds? I had somehow found myself in a fantasy RPG universe and I was going to be killed by kobolds? By the time they caught up to me I had gotten my legs loose enough to kick at the nearest kobold, which just won me a spear to the shin. Health: 5/10 Another kobold ran up to my side and stabbed at me with its own spear. I tried to raise my arm to block but it was my broken arm and was too slow to stop it striking me in the chest. Health: 3/10 The big kobold who seemed to lead stood back, holding its cutlass straight out towards me. It snarled at one of the kobolds holding a club, who raised it high above its head and swung it down hard on my skull. As stars erupted before my eyes I saw one last unwelcome sight before all went black. Health: -1/10 Unconscious Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. --- I came to in a dark room lit by a single small flame coming from a blackened stone bowl filled with some acrid-smelling substance. A kobold with several colored stripes painted on its green hide stood over me. On seeing my eyes were open it turned and picked up a wooden flask. I tried to move, only to find that I was hogtied from feet to shoulders, unable to do more than wriggle like an inchworm. ¡°Where am I?¡± I demanded, but the kobold did not respond. ¡°What are you¡­¡± as I tried to speak, the kobold stuck a pair of clawed fingers in my mouth and forced it open. The flask was tipped slowly over my open mouth, I could see a thick purple liquid inside that I could swear was glowing lightly. When the first glutinous drop touched my tongue I almost gagged, it was bitter with a strong licorice-like taste. I was tempted to spit it out, but I figured that if they hadn¡¯t killed me already it was probably some kind of medicine intended to keep me alive. Instead I swallowed the concoction as quickly as I could, minimizing my ability to taste it. I felt a heat in my stomach followed by an electric tingling in my forearm and ankle, I saw the health bar appear again, almost but not quite empty. Health: 1/10 Injury healed: Sprained ankle (left). Injury healed: Broken Forearm (right). The kobold who¡¯d administered the healing potion, for what else could it be? Left the room then, leaving me alone on the cold dirt floor. I took stock of my situation. Clearly I had either kicked the bucket in my sleep and been reincarnated in an RPG mechanics ¡®verse, or I was dreaming. I waited for a moment to see if I woke up, something that had happened every other time I had realized I was dreaming, but no, I was still in a dank dirty room lit by a bowl of burning tallow. I rolled my head around carefully, taking in the whole place while I tried to think of what I could do next. The room was small, smaller than the dorm room I¡¯d lived in my freshman year of college, and most of it was taken up by a collection of wooden and porcelain flasks and jars. Some of the flasks looked familiar, almost like, wait. I inched my way towards a spherical clay flask with a tapered bent nozzle, yes, that was a distillation retort! I was in some sort of primitive chemistry lab. I realized that purple stuff must have been some sort of healing potion, I wondered what else could be in here? Likely more healing potions, maybe capable of refilling that health meter I saw earlier, if I was lucky there might be some chemicals that I could use as a weapon. Hydrochloric acid? Alcohol? Even some herbs that were toxic in large quantities might help me escape. I attempted to lurch my way towards the nearest jar, the ropes wrapped around my repaired limbs restricting my movement. The clicking of claws on stone interrupted my pathetic attempt at escape. I froze and waited to see if they would pass on by, but no, they came closer and closer. It sounded like several kobolds were coming, but at least they weren¡¯t armored so far as I could tell. Eventually they came into sight, half a dozen of them were wearing nothing but tattered loincloths and carried nothing, but the seventh wielded a leather-wrapped club. As I watched the half dozen took up positions around me, three on either side, while their leader stood near my head. At a bark from the leader the unarmed ones knelt down and lifted me together. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I demanded as I started to rise. The leader whacked me on the head with his club. I saw the yellow bar again. Stamina 23/30 Okay, I guessed that must be how this RPG world tracked ¡°non-lethal¡± damage. I wondered if I would fall unconscious at 0 stamina, though I hadn¡¯t died at -1 health so maybe it was at -10 like D&D. It was odd that I hadn¡¯t received any notification that my health had been restored by the potion that fixed my arm though. I concentrated and tried to think of the health bar. Health 1/10 Conditions: Bound Alright then, I could observe my health at any time. I wondered what other stats I might have. I tried to think of a character sheet, and with a moment¡¯s focus a yellowed parchment manifested before my eyes with a woodcut-like sketch of my pasty face. Craig Henkel Combat Class: None Non-Combat Class: Alchemist 1 Species: Human Gender: Male? Health: 1/10 Conditions: Bound Stamina: 24/30 Abilities: Strength: -1 Dexterity: +2 Constitution: 0 Intelligence: +3 Wisdom: +1 Charisma: -2 Attacks: Unarmed strike -1 to hit, 1-2 damage Skills: Identify Potion basic Brew Potion basic Concoct Reagent basic That was not encouraging. Even if I could escape my bindings there was no way I could fight my way out, presumably I couldn¡¯t sneak out too well either. If only I knew what they intended to do with me? I thought of dismissing the character sheet and it dematerialized. With what I saw, I almost wished that I hadn¡¯t. I was being lowered onto a stone slab, no, an altar ringed with what looked like rib bones sharpened into points. I tried to wriggle out of their grasp, but they just dropped me onto the cold stone. The painted kobold who had forced the healing potion down my throat walked up, holding a rusted knife in its hands. While my eyes focused on the blade it started to speak in its yapping and hissing tongue. I noticed that some of the words were repeated as it spoke, it sounded almost like a religious chant of some kind. At the crescendo of its speech it raised the knife high over its head, aiming straight for my chest¡­ And then another blade sprouted from between the painted kobold¡¯s ribs. Chapter 2 The kobold priest or chieftain or whatever it was slumped forward, leaning against one of the ribs around the altar. The blade in its chest withdrew and a shadow leapt away from the corpse. I frantically looked around the room as best I could in my position. The other kobolds in the room were running around and screaming in panic, grabbing weapons or things that might be used as weapons. While they were running a glowing orange ball sailed through the entrance to the cave and exploded in a burst of flame. The kobolds in the center of the blast were reduced to charred skeletons, while those further away survived but were burned to diminishing degrees the further they lay. I felt a bit of heat against my skin, but took no damage. As I blinked away the spots in my eyes the fireball had left I saw a warrior in gleaming half-plate with a helmet shaped like a wolf¡¯s head cut down one of the remaining kobolds with a longsword. Behind a short warrior in even heavier armor carrying a two-handed battleaxe followed, his beard extending past the faceplate of his horned helmet to his waist. I breathed a sigh of relief, an adventuring party! The shadow that had cut down the lead kobold continued to stab others in the back while the two warriors cut more down, occasionally a jet of flame shot out from the cave entrance to incinerate another kobold. I actually thought that I was out of the woods for a second, before I heard a sticky wet sound coming from the opposite side of the combatants. Warily I turned my gaze towards the source of the sound and had just enough time to feel grossed out before the kobold corpse leaning against the altar¡¯s ribs fell on top of me. I groaned as it splatted against my chest, and then the altar beneath me started glowing. ¡°Uh,¡± I said confused. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± The warriors paid me no heed. Then the dead kobold started to stir. ¡°What the fuck?!¡± I shouted. That got the wolf-headed warrior¡¯s attention, they turned and watched as the kobold priest stood back up, gaping chest wound still open. With a popping sound in its neck, it turned to look down at me again, a vacant expression in its eyes. It slowly raised a clawed hand. ¡°By Utu!¡± A blade that glowed like the sun sliced neatly through the undead kobold¡¯s torso, causing both halves to smoke and sizzle as they fell to the ground. The wolf-headed warrior observed the corpse for a minute, pointing their glowing sword at it until it faded to ordinary steel again. When they were satisfied that the kobold wasn¡¯t going to get up a third time they turned to face me. I gulped nervously at the sight of the wolfish face mask with its sharp angles and narrowed eyes. I couldn¡¯t think of much to say so I just said, ¡°uh, I¡¯m alive.¡± The warrior nodded, ¡°that is fortunate.¡± They looked up and scanned the room, then sheathed their sword and began to lift their helmet off. I inhaled involuntarily as I saw that it wasn¡¯t just a helmet, the warrior had the head of a white-furred wolf with striking yellow eyes. Now that I wasn¡¯t concerned for my life I also noticed a tail sticking out from under the skirt of their (I couldn¡¯t tell any signs of their gender) armor. I leaned up to try to look at the rest of the party. The short warrior I presumed to be a dwarf looked the most human-like of the group, though his forehead protruded in a way that reminded me of neanderthal reconstructions. The shadow slowly approached the altar, wisps of darkness fading away to reveal patchwork boiled leather plates and a gray-and-black ringed tail, a narrow pointed snout poked out from under his hood, which he pulled back to show a gray face with black rings around the eyes. The fourth member of the group came into my view for the first time; a rabbit or hare with wide eyes and fur the color of dirty sand, holding out a staff with a red orb set into the end before him as he cautiously approached. The raccoon crouched down next to me, holding a blood-stained stiletto in one hand. ¡°Alright, I saved your life so...¡± he said in a nasally voice. ¡°What¡¯s your classes and level?¡± Before I could answer the wolf growled, ¡°don¡¯t be crass Ruculus.¡± They knelt and grabbed one of the ropes binding me, drawing a more utilitarian single-edged knife from their belt. As they started sawing through the ropes the raccoon, whom I presumed to be ¡°Ruculus,¡± started to let out a low hiss before thinking better and wedging his blade under another rope. ¡°Oh come on Lysander,¡± he muttered. ¡°He owes me.¡± ¡°My name¡¯s Craig Henkel,¡± I stated. ¡°I¡¯m a first level Alchemist.¡± I nodded towards Lysander, ¡°and he saved me too.¡± Ruculus sped up his attempts to saw through his rope as Lysander finished cutting the one he was working on and started unwinding it from my body. He grumbled in displeasure, ¡°well that makes things needlessly complicated doesn¡¯t it? And you don¡¯t even have a combat class to make it worthwhile.¡± Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. ¡°Uh,¡± I uttered, confused. ¡°What do you mean?¡± Lysander let out an annoyed chuff. ¡°He¡¯s talking about your service. I presume he was hoping you¡¯d be able to help us in this dungeon.¡± I wriggled my arm free of my loosening bonds. ¡°I can help you, there¡¯s a bunch of potions in the room over,¡± I looked around and pointed to a side tunnel with a rather low ceiling that seemed to be in the direction the kobolds had taken me from. ¡°There, and I can identify them for you.¡± ¡°Oh yes, that¡¯s quite useful now,¡± the bunny mage said with no small bit of derision. ¡°I¡¯m sure you will prove quite the asset to our little company.¡± ¡°Ey, lay off him Senet,¡± the dwarf commented. I was a little surprised, I was used to dwarfs speaking with Scottish accents, but he sounded more Germanic. ¡°Potions arr useful enuff when du has da time ta trink dem. How mooch elan du spen on dat smite Lys?¡± ¡°Ten points,¡± the wolf answered. ¡°Vell,¡± the dwarf nodded. ¡°Best sawve der rest.¡± He patted his pauldron, where a spot of blood leaked from a gap in the armor. ¡°Ye see any heeler potion?¡± I tried to decipher his accent best I could. ¡°They gave me a potion that repaired my broken arm. There¡¯s probably one that restores Health.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± Ruculus interjected. ¡°He¡¯s mine!¡± ¡°He is indebted to the company as a whole,¡± Lysander said, fixing the raccoon with an intense stare. ¡°Like Balan said, we should conserve our resources. If the kobolds were creating catacanoi with this altar we¡¯re likely in for a bigger fight ahead.¡± Ruculus hissed before sheathing his dagger and backing away from me. ¡°Fine,¡± he grumbled. I wriggled loose of my remaining bonds and carefully slid out between the bones ringing the altar. I staggered in the direction of the tunnel behind Balan, his head had barely six inches of clearance, I had to bend over almost halfway to enter. The wooden and clay flasks were still there. ¡°Vell?¡± the dwarf asked with a wave over the table. I took a seat on the floor and picked up the nearest flask, I untied the leather cords holding the lid on and looked inside. There was a luminescent green fluid inside, I looked at it from one angle, then another, it flowed thickly from one side to another. I knew I had an ¡°Identify potion¡± skill but how was I supposed to use it? I sniffed it, it gave off a citrusy scent, lost for ideas I dipped one finger in and out of the thick substance and carefully licked the droplet that clung to it. It gave off a pleasant tingling sensation. Potion identified: Healing. Guess that was how then. If I focused on the potion I saw the words ¡°Healing Potion¡± hovering above it. I held the potion out to Balan, ¡°this one¡¯s a healing potion.¡± The dwarf took it and slugged it down in two quick gulps while I tested the other flasks. I found three more healing potions and two other purple potions like the one that had fixed my arm and ankle, which were identified as ¡°Bone-Knitting Potions¡± by my skill. Another flask contained a brownish liquid that smelled distinctly alcoholic. Concoction identified: Wild berry ¡°wine.¡± I considered it for a minute before deciding that after the day I¡¯d had, I could definitely use it. I quaffed it quickly to try and avoid tasting it, but not fast enough. Bits of rotten berries stuck to my tongue, I dropped the rest of the flask and grabbed another one without checking it. A lime-like flavor swept some of the berry bits away and I saw another status message. Intoxication low. Health 10/10. ¡°Hay!¡± Balan grunted. ¡°Don be taking our potions!¡± Thinking quickly I grabbed the ¡°wine¡± flask and waved it in front of the dwarf¡¯s nose. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d want this crap.¡± He sniffed it and, to my surprise, grabbed the flask and knocked it back. ¡°Booze ist booze,¡± he said licking his lips. I handed him another flask of berry wine and finished identifying the remaining flasks. There were three more flasks of wine plus a barrel that turned out to be another half-fermented batch. One clay flask contained a red fluid that my skill identified as ¡°Strength potion.¡± As I was checking the flasks and moving those that seemed useful into a sack Balan held out I noticed a sheet of bark lying on the ground underneath them. I barely paid it any mind until I picked up one flask and spotted a symbol scratched and painted into the surface of the bark, it looked kind of like a leaf. A shuffled the remaining flasks off of it and took a look at the whole sheet. It was covered in crude sketches of various leafs and roots and the occasional animal part. I ran my finger along a set of sketches that appeared to be arranged in a row, ending with a broken bone. I glanced back at the flasks, and saw the same broken bone on one of the Bone-Knitting Potions. Item obtained: Kobold alchemic codex (requires Language: Kobold Scrawl to use) I blinked the notification away, then tucked the apparent ¡°codex¡± under my arm and finished gathering up the potions. I¡¯d try to decipher it later on. Chapter 3 We crawled back out of the tunnel, pushing or one-handed carrying the potions with me. Balan insisted on taking some of the disgusting ¡°wine¡± with him, so far as I was concerned he was welcome to it. I went to Lysander, as he seemed to be the ¡°leader¡± of this group, and showed off what I¡¯d found. ¡°Good,¡± he nodded. ¡°These will be useful for the battle ahead.¡± ¡°Where are we anyways?¡± I inquired. ¡°I was unconscious when they brought me here.¡± The wolf warrior looked a bit surprised. ¡°You haven¡¯t heard of the Dungeon of Shadowood?¡± I thought rapidly, did I want to explain where I had come from to these people? Or would they not believe it? I opted for a partial truth. ¡°I¡¯m from pretty far away.¡± Lysander perked an ear, ¡°do you know where Kabri is at least?¡± I shook my head in response. ¡°Arqata?¡± he asked again. ¡°Afraid not,¡± I said. Lysander sighed, ¡°well, Kabri is the nearest city, on one side of the Shadowood. The Necrurgist built a dungeon into the mountains on the opposite side of the forest, and we¡¯re on the upper floor of that dungeon.¡± I took a moment to process this. ¡°So, are you working for Kabri or something?¡± ¡°We¡¯re a free company chartered to operate throughout the Arqatan League,¡± Ruculus interjected. ¡°We¡¯re not bound to any king or temple.¡± So, there were city-states organized into some kind of league, with some sort of monarchial or theocratic government. The wolf bristled at the raccoon¡¯s claim, ¡°King Theis instituted that charter.¡± Senet walked over and picked up one of the flasks of potion. ¡°No vital elixirs here?¡± he inquired. ¡°Typical, kobolds don¡¯t have anything useful.¡± I rounded on him, ¡°what do you mean? These potions can restore health and mend broken bones.¡± ¡°So can Lysander if he has enough elan vital, which elixirs can restore.¡± Senet took a long, hard look at my face. ¡°You know, I haven¡¯t seen any humans as pale as yourself, where are you from?¡± There were humans in this universe, then, at least I wouldn¡¯t be too out of place. ¡°I¡¯m from pretty far up north, though I¡¯m not sure where exactly.¡± I took a look at my pasty hand in the torchlight and added, ¡°also I was pretty sick before I left.¡± ¡°Sick?¡± Ruculus jumped back in alarm. ¡°Is it catching?¡± I sighed, ¡°it wasn¡¯t anything contagious. And given that I am capable of doing more than falling out of bed I¡¯m pretty certain that I¡¯ve been cured.¡± ¡°Pretty certain?¡± the raccoon exclaimed. ¡°Don¡¯t you remember if you were cured?¡± ¡°No,¡± I started to explain. ¡°The last thing I remember I was lying in bed at the hospital, waiting to die.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Ruculus considered. ¡°I suppose it would be too much to expect a healthy slave in a second level dungeon.¡± My eyes widened in shock at that statement. ¡°Wait, what?!¡± Lysander spoke before Ruculus had a chance, ¡°under League laws saving one¡¯s life entitles the rescuer to a year¡¯s indenture from the rescued. Or equivalent value.¡± He cast a side glance at the raccoon, ¡°and since the whole company was involved in your rescue you belong equally to all of us.¡± This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. Ruculus grumbled, to which Lysander responded with a warning ¡°chuff¡± that had the raccoon backing away. It was almost unthinkable, slavery? Or was it indentured servitude? At least I would only be with them for a year, assuming I even lived that long. I realized belatedly that perhaps I should ask exactly what I was in for before I worried myself to a second death. ¡°So,¡± I asked Lysander with maybe a twinge of anxiety, ¡°what are my duties as your slave?¡± The wolf shrugged, ¡°I guess you can carry our camping gear, set up camp, cook¡­¡± He took a look around the cave about us. ¡°I guess we might not be making many campfires while we¡¯re in here. Just hang back and stay out of trouble.¡± ¡°How long do you expect to spend in this dungeon?¡± I asked. Ruculus answered, ¡°before finding you we had enough rations budgeted for a week in here. Feeding you, we¡¯ll have to pull out in four days, five at most.¡± Balan pulled his rucksack off and started rummaging through the contents. ¡°He doesn¡¯t look like he¡¯ll eat that much,¡± the dwarf pulled out a string-wrapped parcel and handed it to the raccoon. The raccoon untied the parcel and started counting the contents swiftly with his fingers. ¡°Counting the two days it¡¯ll take to get back to Kabri, unless we find something edible down here that¡¯s how long it¡¯ll take us to eat through all these.¡± He retied the package and tossed it to me, ¡°you can carry these now.¡± I caught the parcel, and almost dropped it, it was much heavier than I¡¯d expected. I peeked under the cloth and saw a dark, dense-looking biscuit underneath. Balan held out his rucksack to me, taking the hint I took it and slung it over my shoulder. It rested heavily on my back, almost bending me over double. Status: Encumbered. Movement speed is reduced by half. Figures. --- The small company spent the next couple hours scouring the cave for anything of value. Senet eventually found twenty gold coins in a jar, which the party split evenly among themselves. From what I recalled of gold prices in my time, those coins were enough to buy a small car. But they treated this fortune in precious metals like it was spare change they¡¯d found on the street and divided it between their tiny purses. None for me of course. At some point I asked them what their classes were. Lysander said he was a Champion of Utu, I guessed that was something like a cleric or paladin, probably the latter given the sword and the smite. Balan was a ¡°bear-sark-er¡± or something, I was still having trouble with his accent. Senet was obviously a wizard of some sort, he specified Elemental Magus. Ruculus said it was ¡°none of my business,¡± but Senet later whispered in my ear that he was a marked member of the Thieves¡¯ Guild. After finding that small treasure the group kept on searching the room, when Balan took a look behind the altar he stopped and knelt down to examine the floor. ¡°Dere¡¯s sumting down here,¡± he swept a hand along a patch of ground. ¡°A door, I tink.¡± Ruculus came over to take a look. ¡°There¡¯s a seam here, it could be a door,¡± he stated. ¡°The guy who gave me this tip said there was a way into the second level, but I haven¡¯t found any other way down.¡± The raccoon pulled a dingy-looking dagger from somewhere on his belt and started digging into the floor. As he cut a line through the floor I came closer to see. There was a soft ¡°click¡± sound and a five-foot square section of the floor fell, hinged on one side. I leapt back just in time to avoid falling in. The three of us stared down the trapdoor as the two remaining members of the group walked over. I could see a smooth stone chute that sloped downwards at nearly a 45-degree angle, dropping off into the darkness. I looked up to ask Ruculus and Balan what we should do now? ¡°This,¡± Ruculus grabbed me by the arm and shoved me violently down the chute. I slid down the smooth stonework into the darkness, screaming as I went. It felt like hours as I went down into the darkness, but eventually I slid to a stop. I looked back up and saw a dim light off in the distance, but all around me was darkness. Health: 9/10 I could hear people saying something up at the top of the slide, but I couldn¡¯t make much out. Eventually after some scuffling sounds I heard Lysander call down the chute. ¡°Craig, can you hear me?! Are you injured?¡± ¡°I lost one health!¡± I shouted back up. ¡°It¡¯s dark down here, I can¡¯t see a thing.¡± I heard the raccoon chuckling, ¡°oh, you humans don¡¯t have Night Vision, I forgot. Hey Senet, can you toss down a light?¡± A second later a bright light appeared at the top of the slide, then slowly it began to drift down towards me. I watched as it approached, when it came within ten feet of me I could tell that it was some kind of floating ball-shaped object that glowed with a warm yellow light. My eyes followed it as it drifted over my head and down the tunnel that opened before me. The spell light had come to a stop above my head, and I experimentally took a step forward. As I strode the ball followed me. After about twenty or so steps I spotted half a dozen figures emerging from the darkness ahead of me. They turned their heads towards me, empty eye sockets glaring in my direction. Chapter 4 I carefully backed away from the monsters in front of me, trying not to make a sound that might draw their attention. The spell¡¯s light followed me back up the tunnel, but I could still see one of the creatures slowly lift a leg and stagger in my direction. That convinced me to speed up a bit. ¡°What¡¯s going on down there?¡± I heard Ruculus call down the shaft to me, with the creatures so close to me I didn¡¯t dare to speak. ¡°You get eaten by monsters yet?¡± ¡°I doubt it,¡± Senet added. ¡°The wisp would have returned to me if he was dead.¡± ¡°Ruculus,¡± I heard Lysander interject, ¡°go down and take a look. You can handle the fall and climb back up easiest.¡± ¡°Are you mad?¡± the raccoon retorted. ¡°I¡¯ve got no intention of meeting the gods just yet. What about you, oh champion of law?¡± I heard a loud snort from the top of the chute followed by a certain dwarfish brogue. ¡°Ah¡¯ll go yah cowards.¡± There were a few clanks and then I heard a heavy object rolling down the slide. I shoved myself against the wall just in time to avoid getting sliced up by a spinning axe blade held in the center of a ball of steel-clad dwarf. Balan unfurled himself from around the haft of his battleaxe and got to his feet just as one of the monsters came into the full light of the spell wisp. It looked like an anthropomorphic horse, but emaciated, with patches of fur falling out and some tears in the skin showing exposed muscle. The creature slowly reached one bony arm towards Balan, who chopped it off with his axe without hesitation. ¡°Catakhanai!¡± Balan called out as he swung two more times, slicing the horse-thing¡¯s leg and then bringing the heavy blade down on its head as it collapsed. ¡°Git ur arses down here!¡± ¡°Get back!¡± I heard the mage¡¯s warning barely a second before his fireball streaked down the slide and past the dwarf. The explosion engulfed Balan and all the monsters, catakhanai I supposed, that I could see. Lysander came sliding down before the flames receded, leaping to his feet sword in hand. As the flames receded I could see the catakhanai still stood, but were badly burnt and in some cases parts were falling off, still burning slightly. Among them Balan kept swinging, his armor slightly soot-stained but otherwise no worse for wear. The wolf champion sliced two burnt catakhanai in half with a pair of strokes as he charged into the fray. Balan cut down another monster, but as he was pulling his axe back for another swing the catakhanas next to it opened its mouth and spewed a thick red substance all over him. Senet and Ruculus slid down the chute just in time to see Balan get covered with monster vomit. The thief faded into shadow while the mage tossed a concentrated jet of flame at the offending catakhanas, turning it into a glowing skeleton that clattered to the floor. The dwarf looked down at himself, then reared back and let loose an enraged howl. He flung himself into the thick of the remaining catakhanai, axe flailing wildly. Twitching undead limbs went flying every which way, Lysander taking out most of the stragglers. Senet threw more jets of flame at the edges of the horde, one or two catakhanai fell to daggers that came flying out of the shadows into their eyes. In a couple minutes the last few monsters dwelling in the hall stopped moving. Lysander caught sight of the dwarf with catakhanas puke covering his armor and ran over to him, pulling loose a roughly tube-shaped leather bag from his belt. He pulled out a stopper at the end of the bag and started a soft chant as he poured water from the bag over Balan. The bulk of the red vomit flowed off onto the floor, but a thin crust remained attached to the armor, and his skin. The dwarf tried to brush it off, but to no avail. Balan fell to his knees, panting heavily. ¡°Ah¡¯m stained,¡± he gasped. ¡°Ah¡¯m a dead dwarf.¡± I cautiously stepped forward from the corner where I¡¯d been trying to stand out of the way of the melee, trying to step carefully around any dismembered bodies. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. ¡°What were those things?¡± ¡°Catakhanai,¡± Lysander explained. ¡°Dead bodies given a crude mockery of life by foul magics.¡± He reached a hand out for the dwarf, starting to glow with restorative magic. Balan pulled away from the hand. ¡°Don¡¯t waste ur elan on me.¡± ¡°You have three days to remove the stain!¡± the wolf exclaimed. ¡°Don¡¯t give up yet!¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t bring anything to cleanse me!¡± Balan shouted out again. ¡°Ah¡¯m dead already.¡± Senet turned away from the dwarf and the champion trying to reassure him, head bowed. He paused as his gaze passed over me, ¡°why didn¡¯t you warn us?¡± I drew myself back from the accusing rabbit. ¡°I¡­¡± I tried to explain myself, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to draw their attention to myself.¡± The magus hissed softly. ¡°Catakhanai can see the living from any distance without the light, they knew you were there the moment you slid down the chute. They were just too slow to catch you.¡± ¡°Well I didn¡¯t know that!¡± I objected. ¡°I¡¯m not a professional adventurer or whatever like you guys.¡± ¡°Ah was a woodcutter,¡± Balan whimpered. ¡°Shudda stayed dere. Bezerkah training was a mistake.¡± ¡°Craig doesn¡¯t have any training,¡± Lysander pointed out. ¡°If anyone is at fault, it¡¯s Ruculus for throwing him down the chute.¡± ¡°Where is that rat anyways?¡± Senet inquired, looking around. The raccoon was nowhere to be seen, not even the shadow he tended to fade into was visible. Lysander groaned in exasperation. ¡°I doubt we¡¯ll be able to catch him. Now, we need to decide what to do next.¡± He wiped his blade with an oiled cloth, carefully removing every drop of blood. ¡°Do we keep going and hope that there¡¯s some cleansing wax further down in the dungeon? Or head back up and return to town?¡± This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°The walk back is too long,¡± Balan stated. He picked up his axe and climbed back to his feet. ¡°Ah might as well go down fighting.¡± ¡°Maybe we¡¯ll meet a merchant on the road,¡± the champion suggested. ¡°If you die while stained you¡¯ll rise as a catakhanas you know.¡± ¡°Maybe Ah¡¯ll spew on dat thief,¡± the dwarf retorted. He started walking off down the hall, away from the slide. After a few seconds hesitation Lysander and Senet followed. I considered whether I¡¯d be safer with them or waiting on one of the levels they¡¯d cleared. But for all I knew more monsters would arrive to fill the territory the adventurers had opened up. I hurried after them, but hung back, far enough back that hopefully I wouldn¡¯t fall to any traps or wandering monsters. Lysander halted abruptly, lupine ears perked warily as his hand went to his sword. Senet cocked an ear himself and brandished his staff. Balan looked around before whispering under his breath, ¡°wat ya hear?¡± ¡°Clicking,¡± the wolf whispered back, sliding his sword gently from its sheath. ¡°Might be clockwork, could be bugs. Couldn¡¯t say more.¡± The group cautiously advanced, assuming fighting stances as the lights from Senet¡¯s wisps revealed more of the hallway ahead. A door emerged from the darkness, wood and brass ten feet tall. At the keyhole in the middle of the doorway a hooded figure stood bent over with a ringed tail sticking out. Ruculus looked over his shoulder as Lysander stepped up to him, pointing his sword at the raccoon. The thief held up his hands, dropping a set of bronze lock picks to the floor. ¡°I was just scouting ahead,¡± he claimed in a trembling voice. Lysander twitched an ear towards the rest of the party, as if asking them their opinions. Senet shrugged, while Balan grumbled. ¡°Jus git the door open,¡± the dwarf said. Ruculus nodded and turned back to the lock. While the raccoon tried to pick the lock I approached Lysander, I still had a few questions. ¡°Err, what exactly,¡± I asked cautiously, ¡°is going to happen to Balan?¡± The lupine champion gave a mournful sigh. ¡°Unless we can get that stain off in three days,¡± he explained. ¡°Balan will die, and when he does he will rise as a catakhanas like the ones we fought earlier.¡± ¡°How can one remove the stain?¡± I inquired, curious. ¡°Sometimes blessed water is enough,¡± Lysander said, fingers brushing the waterskin hanging from his waist as he spoke. ¡°But you saw that the stain had already begun to set by the time I got to him. We¡¯d need something stronger to scrub it off. There¡¯s this foul-smelling wax that can scour such a stain when combined with holy water, but we neglected to bring any since we weren¡¯t expecting to fight the living dead. As is we¡¯re lucky it didn¡¯t get into his blood.¡± ¡°I see,¡± I commented. There was a heavy thunk sound from the direction of the door and I turned in time to see Ruculus start to push the door open. He shoved it open a crack and looked through, then nodded and opened it the rest of the way. Beyond stood another hallway, curving gently to the left some thirty feet out. ¡°Well,¡± Ruculus said, turning to me. ¡°Better go and check it out, slave.¡± At Lysander¡¯s glare he quickly revised his statement. ¡°Just joking, I¡¯ll start searching for traps then?¡± Without further prompting the thief began to look around the hallway from one wall to another, calling for a spell wisp to provide light after a minute. He shifted the wisp from side to side, scanning the walls and floor for something, I couldn¡¯t say what. When he approached the turn in the hall he stopped and bent down to look at a white floor tile in the middle of a brown section of the floor. ¡°I think there¡¯s a trap here,¡± he suggested. ¡°Stand back and give me a minute to try and disable it.¡± He pulled out his lock picks again and started prying at one of the tiles he¡¯d been examining. Something clicked loudly and a panel in the wall dropped open, revealing a metal spout. Ruculus started to jump back but a blast of green flame shot out towards him, catching him on the arm. The flame jet splashed against the opposite wall, then slowly tapered off, creating a burning puddle from wall to wall. The thief started waving his burning arm around, throwing off small globs of burning material that simmered on the floor. He tried dousing it in water from his own waterskin, but the fire kept burning. ¡°Bloody alchemists!¡± he shouted. I almost felt offended at that statement, given that I was apparently classed as an alchemist in this game world. But I was also reminded of something. Greek fire, waterproof, if not water-ignited, very difficult to put out. I pulled off my pack and started looking through it in a hurry. There was nothing that looked like sand, of course not, but there were a few blankets. I tossed one of the blankets to Ruculus, ¡°wrap this around it tightly!¡± I exclaimed. ¡°Smother it!¡± He did as I instructed, covering his arm with the blanket and clutching it tightly. I started to panic for a moment as the blanket began to catch on fire, but the flame was quickly covered by more layers of the blanket. ¡°Now, carefully pull the whole thing off, don¡¯t open it, try to get all the goop with it.¡± Instead, Ruculus yanked the wrapped up blanket off, almost immediately both his arm and the blanket ignited again. Fortunately it seemed that he had taken most of the Greek fire off as the flame on him began to die down almost immediately, while the blanket continued burning after he dropped it on the floor. He looked at his blackened leather armor and grisly red flesh stripped of fur and skin with a look of utter disgust. ¡°Could you heal me, please?¡± he asked Lysander. ¡°I¡¯m starting to run short on elan,¡± the champion of the gods replied. ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask your slave?¡± The raccoon turned to me and barked. ¡°Give me a healing potion!¡± I stood there and did nothing. ¡°I¡¯m your master, obey me!¡± ¡°One of them,¡± I retorted. Ruculus scowled at me, ¡°fine, I won¡¯t try to use you as monster bait again. Now will you give me a healing potion?¡± I shrugged, pulled out one of the potion flasks, and chucked it to him. He drank it and his burn slowly grew a new layer of pasty gray skin. While I was doing this Balan grabbed an iron pan from my pack and started walking over to the burning blanket on the floor. I asked what he was doing. ¡°Mit as well have a decent last meal,¡± he said, pulling out a pack of sausages and placing them in the pan, then starting to cook them over the flames as they turned from green to orange. ¡°Not like we¡¯re going anywhere for a while.¡± I glanced over to the line of burning Greek fire, it was receding, but slowly, still fed by a diminishing trickle from the spout. ¡°We probably shouldn¡¯t spend too much time in this area. I doubt it¡¯s a good idea to breathe in the smoke from that.¡± Senet nodded his agreement. ¡°Alchemist¡¯s flame is foul stuff, we should head back.¡± Balan¡¯s sausages sizzled on the pan as the blanket fire gradually died. ¡°These¡¯re done anyways.¡± He picked the sausages up and handed me the greasy pan as he ate. I looked at the layer of grease coating the inside of the pan, then set it down and started looking through my pack for something to clean it with. ¡°Where¡¯s the soap?¡± I called out. Senet snorted, ¡°if we had soap Balan wouldn¡¯t be in his predicament.¡± Lysander looked confused, ¡°what¡¯s soap?¡± ¡°It¡¯s that wax-like stuff they use to clean stains,¡± the rabbit retorted. He grumbled something that sounded vaguely like ¡°high-born.¡± Something clicked for me, I tried to remember what I¡¯d knew about soap. The earliest forms were made from fat and ash, right? I looked at the glowing embers of the burned blanket, stomped them out, then reached down and tried to pick up a handful of gray ash. I couldn¡¯t get much, but I poured it on the pan and swirled it around in the grease. Not much happened, some of the ashes started to form ugly clumps, but not much else I could see. I turned to see that the alchemist¡¯s fire was still burning, though it had receded from the opposite wall to the spout by now, and remembered the last component. Cautiously I approached and held the pan over the flames. The ash and grease mixture began to pop and boil, releasing an acrid odor. As I swirled it, the mixture began to congeal into bigger and bigger chunks. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Ruculus shouted at me. I pulled the pan back, there was now a grayish-white sludge covering the inside. Recipe discovered: Basic soap. Alchemist XP earned: 10/100 ¡°I think I just saved Balan,¡± I replied. Chapter 5 I poured the half-liquid, half-glutinous solid soap onto the stain on Balan¡¯s chest, he flinched away from the heat for a moment, but gritted his teeth as I applied the remainder. Then Lysander recast the blessing on the waterskin he¡¯d attempted to use before and poured it on the soap. I picked up a rag and began scrubbing at the catakhanas vomit, after a couple minutes of hard scrubbing I lifted it and saw that the stain was gone and had left behind a large patch of bare pale skin. ¡°Tank yuh,¡± the dwarf said. ¡°Yuh saved muh life.¡± ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± I replied. I began to put the limited cleaning supplies, such as they were, back in the pack. ¡°We¡¯ll have to remember to buy some soap and more water for the next dungeon.¡± Senet pulled out a scroll and started scratching on it with a charcoal stick. ¡°How many supplies have we used up now?¡± A glance over his shoulder told me that the scroll was a running inventory of the party¡¯s supplies. I tried not to seem disappointed that it wasn¡¯t some magic item. I told him what little I¡¯d used up, he burned the rag I¡¯d used for scrubbing with a fire spell and scratched it off on the inventory. ¡°While you were washing the dirty dwarf off,¡± I turned to see Ruculus standing on the other side of the blackened pile of ash and soot where the puddle of alchemist¡¯s fire had been. ¡°I went ahead and disabled the rest of the traps in this hall.¡± He held up a crossbow with a tall wooden box on top of the stock, ¡°got myself a new crossbow too.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Lysander commented. ¡°See what happens when you scout ahead yourself instead of sending the henchman ahead?¡± ¡°Now I¡¯m a henchman?¡± I asked incredulously, hefting the bag over my shoulder. ¡°Yuh earned yur freedom wen yuh saved meh,¡± Balan explained. ¡°Really?¡± I exclaimed, shocked at my abrupt turn of fortune. ¡°It¡¯s that simple?¡± ¡°A life for a life,¡± Lysander added. ¡°You can leave now or stay with us and earn some gold.¡± I paused and thought about it, in the short time I¡¯d been with these people I had been kidnapped by kobolds, nearly eaten by zombies, and incinerated. But on the other hand I knew next to nothing about this world and what was outside this dungeon. ¡°How far is the nearest city?¡± I asked. ¡°Kabri you said?¡± ¡°Kabri is twenty leagues through the Shadowood,¡± Senet volunteered. ¡°We ran into a few monsters on the way here.¡± I considered the distance and the monsters. I couldn¡¯t exactly fight much with the skills I had. If I stayed with this group they¡¯d protect me. I¡¯d even be paid. ¡°I think I¡¯ll hang around a bit longer.¡± ¡°Glad to have you with us Craig,¡± Lysander nodded. Ruculus looked less happy, though I couldn¡¯t say why. ¡°Let¡¯s just head on over to the next room,¡± the raccoon grumbled. He turned and walked off down the hall. We followed, me taking up the rear as usual. Around the bend there were several open hatches in the walls, exposing various broken machines, and a large hole in the floor over a pit of spikes. I could see an alcove where Ruculus had probably taken his crossbow, next to the spike pit. There was barely enough room to shuffle along the other wall to the far side of the pit, but we managed. At the end of the trap-filled hallway was another giant pair of doors, almost identical to the ones at the opening of the hall. Ruculus examined the door and pulled out his set of lock picks. ¡°This will take a while,¡± he informed us. ¡°I haven¡¯t leveled up my Open Locks skill just yet.¡± Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. Regardless, Lysander and Balan drew and readied their weapons, while Senet tilted his staff towards the door. I considered what to do, I was still next to useless in combat. At most maybe I could hand out potions. Would it be better for me to hang back or stay in the middle of the party? In the middle I¡¯d be well-positioned to give them potions and protected from behind, but vulnerable to area-of-effect attacks. While if I hung back I¡¯d be exposed to enemies coming up behind the party and they¡¯d have to run back to grab potions. I decided to wait and see what was in store for us on the other side of the door. The warriors¡¯ weapons were starting to droop towards the floor by the time the thief finally let out a cry of triumph. ¡°Yes! Level up!¡± Ruculus began to pull the door open as Lysander and Balan slowly advanced forwards. Beyond lay a massive cavern filled with many strange things. Tunnels branched off in two different directions, as I watched a catakhanas staggered out of one tunnel pushing a cart filled with rocks. In the middle of the chamber stood a bizarre industrial array. A conveyor belt led to a pair of crushing rollers over another conveyor that entered a giant forge studded with pipes and valves and glowing runes. At the other end a few coins tumbled out of a narrow chute, while liquid concrete filled a vat. A moment after the coins clinked against the floor, a long scaly tail swept them over to a golden pile laid out beneath a half-asleep monster. It was a horrific patchwork of golden scales and tawny fur separated by lines of mangy skin. One paw was like that of a big cat, the other a great raptor¡¯s talon. The head was a misshapen blend of lion and reptile traits, bordered by the scraggly remnants of a mane. Mismatched green and yellow eyes blearily blinked open, slowly focusing on us. With a low rumble rising in its throat, the monster rose to its feet, displaying crooked fangs. ¡°Chimaera!¡± Senet shouted, readying his staff and beginning to cast a spell. Lysander and Balan hefted their weapons again, Ruculus faded into shadow. The dwarf charged to the left while the shadowed raccoon took the right. Lysander advanced slowly up the center, staying between the monster and the mage. Myself, I ducked back to the doorway and tried to hide behind the giant doors. There was no way I was going to be able to fight that thing. Moments after I ducked behind the door I heard a deafening roar and felt intense heat through the wood. Cautiously, I peeked around the corner and saw that the floor had been blackened in a rough cone shape stemming from the chimaera, with a sort of inverse shadow centered around Lysander, Senet standing on the edge of the shadow with the tips of his ears smoking. As I watched the rabbit let loose a brilliant blue bolt of energy at the monster. Where it struck frost radiated out over the chimaera¡¯s mismatched fur and scales. But no sooner did the ray cease than did the beast rear back and begin to glow, melting the frost. Balan swung at the chimaera¡¯s leg, burying the blade of his axe into the scaly flesh and loosing a trickle of blood. The monster turned its head towards the dwarf and attempted to bite him with a maw as wide as his entire head, fangs clashing against armor. While it was distracted Ruculus leapt out of his shadows and buried a pair of daggers into its back. Then Lysander stabbed his sword into the beast¡¯s shoulder from below as it reared up to try and throw the raccoon off. Senet began to cast another spell, but the chimaera saw him and turned its head in his direction. As it opened its jaws I saw flames crackle in the back of its throat and I ducked back behind the door just in time to avoid getting caught in the next burst of fire breath. As soon as the flames died down I took another look at the scene. A blackened rabbit clutching a staff with a flame at the tip that did not look particularly magical collapsed, lying on his back on the floor. Lysander was busy ducking around the chimaera¡¯s claws while trying to strike back with his blade, the others similarly caught in battle with the monster. I stared at Senet, trying to figure out if he was still alive, after a moment¡¯s focus a display appeared above him. Senet: Ally Health: 0, Status: Dying 10, 9, Realizing that Lysander couldn¡¯t get to him in time I yanked a flask of healing potion out of the sack and raced towards him. 4, 3, I slipped on the sooty floor, time slowed down, and as I realized I couldn¡¯t get back up and run to him soon enough I pulled my arm back and chucked it in Senet¡¯s direction. 2, 1, Stabilized, 1 Health restored. The potion landed next to the rabbit mage and a splash of green liquid landed on him, skin regrowing where the drops touched him. He rose slowly to his feet and started carefully making spell gestures and muttering under his breath. The chimaera paid him no mind as it tried to fend off the other three adventurers. Balan slashed at the monster¡¯s head, but it ducked, and as its head swung back its eye caught sight of the rabbit casting a spell. Ignoring the combatants hacking at it the chimaera opened its mouth again, flames crackled in the back of its throat¡­ Lysander¡¯s sword glowed with holy light and he plunged the tip of the blade downwards through the beast¡¯s claw and into the floor. The chimaera roared in pain, its fire breath streaming high over Senet¡¯s head as it tried to rear back. But the sword in its claw held it in place as Senet¡¯s ice spell caught it square in the chest. The misshapen hybrid of lion and dragon coughed, sputtered, and then slumped to the ground, claw still pinned to the floor. I got up and carefully walked up to Senet, handing him a full healing potion. He chugged it down and his remaining third-degree burns healed over. Chimaera defeated. Alchemist XP: 100 Level 1 ¡ú 2 Wait? I thought they said Alchemist was a non-combat class?