《Never, Never Stair》


 Going Camping

    ¡°Julie broke up with me.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Let me guess, another trail in the woods that no one else can see?¡±


    I look around the cafe to see if anyone is listening before I say, ¡°That was Linda and it wasn¡¯t a trail. It was a stairway in the woods. Julie broke up with me because I walked out of a job interview.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Why this time?¡±


    I say, ¡°They creeped me out. I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡±


    Karen asks, ¡°Do you need a place to stay?¡±


    Brent looks at Karen.


    Karen says, ¡°He is my brother, but it¡¯s your call.¡±


    I don¡¯t think Brent wants me around but I don¡¯t think he wants to be a total jerk. I think I would rather go camping or sleep in my car. Karen won¡¯t like either of those choices.


    Brent says, ¡°Danny, you don¡¯t have a job and you just lost your girlfriend. If you are about to use our spare room, then we get to hear the story.¡±


    Karen and I exchange glances. I know her too well. She wants desperately to tell Brent everything but she doesn¡¯t want to lose him.


    Karen looks at him and says, ¡°He may not be ready to talk about it.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Fine. You know he just makes these stories up.¡±


    Karen knows that I don¡¯t make any of this up but she isn¡¯t ready for her husband to know how she knows. I give her a slight nod. I¡¯m not going to ruin her life too. I drink a bit more of my chai tea. I want coffee, but I also want to sleep eventually.


    I tell them, ¡°The interview was in a hotel conference room. Not a big one, but way larger than needed. They had a ring of tables set up. The first question they asked was, ''Have you ever seen a Fairy?''¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Please tell me you said no.¡±


    I say, ¡°I got up. I told them I was uncomfortable and left.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You could have just said, ¡®No.¡¯¡±


    He closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head before he asks, ¡°Is the backpack in the back of your car set up for camping?¡±


    I tell him, ¡°Everything but the food.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Good, you can stay at our place. Tomorrow, we are going camping. I want to see this stairway in the woods.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°I don¡¯t think this is a good idea.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°We wanted to go camping this weekend anyway.¡±


    Karen gives me a look of desperation.


    I really have no choice. I could lie my way out of it, but that path will eventually be the end of me.


    I say, ¡°This is making me uncomfortable. I don¡¯t think I should impose on you or your weekend together.¡±


    I take another sip. Brent and Karen exchange a look. Karen exchanges a look with me. I am not sure what she is trying to communicate. None of us are saying anything, and I am grateful. I think it is awkward for Brent though. Brent likes chit chat in his get-togethers. It is a pity we aren¡¯t closer to the girl playing the guitar. Then we would have a better excuse for being quiet.


    Brent asks, ¡°So what is safe to talk about?¡±


    Awkward silence follows. With Karen a look and a nod can turn awkward silence into graceful quiet. I am not sure how to do that with Brent.


    I say, ¡°I am comfortable just being with people that are important to me. I get into trouble with idle talk.¡±


    We sit a while just sipping drinks. This time I killed the conversation. Karen likes to encourage others to talk. I am scared to talk much. Brent is Brent. I like him, but if he weren¡¯t married to my sister, we wouldn¡¯t spend any time together. At least he and Karen love each other.


    #


    Brent insists that Karen sit up front with me as I drive them home. He insists that he loves every song they play on the radio so I keep the radio loud as we drive. I guess it covers the silence.


    I drop them off and go to the convenience store where Phillip works.


    #


    ¡°Julie broke up with me.¡±


    Phillip says, ¡°It¡¯s because you can¡¯t even tell a white lie. Honestly, no girl is ever going to put up with you.¡±


    I say, ¡°Thanks. I would like to say something like, ¡®Gee, you are always so comforting.¡¯¡±


    Phillip says, ¡°You take this honesty thing too far. You even manage to tell the truth while using irony. Why do you go to the effort?¡±


    I say, ¡°I lied to a Fairy so he cursed me. They don¡¯t like lies, at least not when people tell them. Now if I lie, I become half an inch shorter.¡±


    Phillip narrows his eyes at me. A customer comes in and I am spared the rest of the discussion.


    The customer leaves and Phillip says, ¡°I have to clean this place up because the manager fast forwards through all of the security footage. You can¡¯t hang out all night. Go sleep in your car until I get off work. I¡¯ll wake you and you can drive me home and sleep on the couch.¡±


    I have just managed to snooze off when Karen calls me, ¡°Danny, Brent pulled your maps out of your backpack while you were driving.¡±


    I answer, ¡°I am going to stay with Phillip, so you don¡¯t have to worry about me.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°He has your maps.¡±


    I say, ¡°I don¡¯t need them right now. You can get them back to me later.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°You put marks on the maps. You marked where three of the stairways are.¡±


    I sit up, ¡°Karen, I¡¯ll just tell him it¡¯s a lie. He won¡¯t notice.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Brent has a trip planned, with or without you.¡±


    I tell Phillip he is going to have to walk home. I have no choice really, I drive back to my sister''s house.


    #


    Brent says, ¡°Karen has locked herself in the bathroom. She¡¯s crying and won¡¯t talk to me. I don¡¯t want to insist. What is with you two?¡±


    I say, ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to lose you.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°She isn¡¯t going to lose me over a brother that tells stories. It¡¯s not a big thing. I kind of like your tall tales. I just wish you could put them aside long enough to have a decent life.¡±


    I don¡¯t like where this is going. I ask, ¡°Can I take a quick shower?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Fine, you know where the guest bath is. I will bring you some towels and a bathrobe.¡±


    I say, ¡°Thanks,¡± and go to the guest bathroom.


    I am showering when Brent comes in and opens the shower door just a crack. He hands me two small bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner.


    I say, ¡°Thanks.¡±


    My phone goes off.


    Brent says, ¡°I¡¯ll get it.¡±


    Again, I say, ¡°Thanks.¡±


    I keep the shower door open so I can listen.


    He says, ¡°No, I¡¯m his brother-in-law. Danny is in the shower.¡±


    Then he shouts, ¡°Danny, you got the job.¡±


    I dive out of the shower to grab the phone from him. If my suspicions are correct, I don¡¯t want Brent to tell them a white lie or anything. He could end up worse off than I am.


    I nearly skid out on the bathroom floor. I take the phone.


    My suspicions are correct. On the other end I hear several voices giggling.


    A male voice says, ¡°Danny, my Danny. And we have missed our Danny. My sister longs for thy embrace.¡±


    The speaker phone is on. I switch the speaker phone setting off. I am not going to be able to explain this call to Brent.


    Brent is listening. I have to manage this conversation carefully. I would hang up, but then worse things might happen. Now I know who is on the other end. In a way we are close. I don¡¯t know his name, but I wouldn¡¯t, would I?


    I ask, ¡°Can we leave everyone else out of this? Can this be just between thee and me?¡±


    The speaker phone setting switches back on and there is more giggling.


    The voice asks, ¡°And where would the fun be in that, my darling Danny? My sister is quite sad that thou didst put her to the side. ''Tis more than sad how thou doth treat thy girls, one thou hast misplaced, and the other suffers from a hundred cuts.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Where is she?¡±


    There is more giggling and the phone disconnects.


    Brent says, ¡°I should have known it was a prank call. No one offers you a job after midnight on Friday. Do you think that¡¯s a friend of Julie¡¯s? What¡¯s with the thing about your girls?¡±


    I shake my head. After drying my hands and the phone with a towel, I take the battery out of the phone and get back in the shower. I don¡¯t want to explain that the girls are my violins. No one is going to make any sense of that.


    Brent yells to me, ¡°You just can¡¯t win, can you?¡±


    I don¡¯t answer. That is a very complicated question.


    #


    After drying off and putting on the bathrobe, I hear Karen shout, ¡°Danny, your violin is in the den.¡±


    I walk in and my violin is on the table in front of the nice couch.


    I pick it up and hold it close for a moment before I adjust my bow. I don¡¯t bother with tuning my violin. Her voice is always perfect. It feels good to play music again. I think we are safe enough. It is just my sister, her husband and my violin. I play for a while. I need my sleep. Karen and Brent need their sleep, too. They won¡¯t leave while I am playing. I have to be careful what I play. I don¡¯t want them to start dancing. I play them to sleep and then I continue to play until the first beams of light come in the window. It is nice to have my violin back. I have missed her. I do love her.


    #


    I wake up to the smell of bread baking. My pack is beside the bed. All the dirty clothes I had in the trunk of my car are washed and folded. I am a bit embarrassed. I hate to use my sister like that, even if I didn¡¯t plan to, even if it makes her happy. Just like the baking. I worry that some part of her is screaming as she dances around happily doing her domestic chores. I worry that some part of her isn¡¯t.


    #


    I get up and change into clothing suitable for hiking. Since just about everything I have is like that, it isn¡¯t much of a change. As I walk into the kitchen area I see Karen sitting in Brent¡¯s lap feeding him a cookie. At least they are happy together. He doesn¡¯t order her around and he cares how she feels so I guess the relationship is as good as could be wished for.


    Yet another reason why I fear wishes. At least Karen wasn¡¯t as greedy as I was. I step into the room and Karen gives Brent a kiss before she gets up and curtsies to me.


    I say, ¡°Brent, Karen. Good afternoon.¡±


    The table is covered with loaves of bread cooling on kitchen towels. She ran out of bread racks. Now I know what I can get her for her next birthday.


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Brent says, ¡°We should have left earlier.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Are we still camping?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Karen has already packed up more food than we need. You looked like you needed sleep. Karen wanted to make bread so the morning came and went. We can still camp out tonight and explore Sunday morning.¡±


    I ask, ¡°We can¡¯t talk you out of this?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I like exploring and this makes it even more fun. I plan to go even if I have to go by myself. I want to see the places you marked on the map. Your sister and you always seem to have a secret conversation. Sometimes I feel left out. When I ask you, I get a wild story or nothing at all.¡±


    I say, ¡°You could ask Karen.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Then she gives me that creepy, ¡®Is it thy command that I tell thee?¡¯ I just want to understand you two.¡±


    I say, ¡°I think we should go to a closer park.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You owe me. While Karen was cleaning out your Mustang, I washed it.¡±


    I say, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I really did. It is the closest I will probably ever come to owning a classic. Karen and I want to have children. I will be an old man before I can afford something fun to drive.¡±


    I glance at Karen when Brent mentions children. She winces and makes a gesture that tells me she knows it¡¯s a bad idea, and she can¡¯t help herself.


    I ask, ¡°Karen, has he been warned at all?¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Indirectly.¡±


    I am not sure what she is implying. She can tell I am confused. She glances towards the den. I follow her look. I don¡¯t know what I am looking for until I realize she means the bookshelves.


    I say, ¡°Great. Brent has read a bunch of fantasy books. That doesn¡¯t really prepare a person for all the things that could happen.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Interesting way you use English. Usually people say, ¡®That doesn¡¯t really prepare a person for reality.¡¯ That would be a better turn of phrase when talking about fantasy books anyway.¡±


    Karen gives me a glance. She needs to cut that out. I think it sets Brent on edge. Maybe there is some part inside her that needs to rebel. I smile at the thought. It is a small comfort.


    Brent asks, ¡°Are you taking your violin? I looked around and I couldn¡¯t find it.¡±


    I say, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I will play it again tonight, unless there are people around.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You know that you shouldn¡¯t be shy about it. I never knew you played but you are quite talented. I am sorry I fell asleep while you were playing. It was honestly beautiful.¡±


    I smile. I plan to play him to sleep again tonight. He will be safest that way.


    #


    On the way to the park, I am driving my car. I never leave it behind. Karen and Brent are alternating driving their Suburban and riding with me.


    I am driving with Brent beside me. He says, ¡°Karen said I should ask you to warn me about things.¡±


    Great. I get to ruin their marriage. Maybe.


    I ask, ¡°You know that there are stories that appear in just about every culture?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Like Fairies.¡±


    I say, ¡°Exactly. And it is probably best that you don¡¯t use the ¡®F¡¯ word.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I try not to cuss.¡±


    I say, ¡°Every culture has stories about hidden worlds alongside of ours, places where time runs differently and the food and drink are not safe to eat. Children all know that there are things that can travel in shadow and instantly move from under the bed to a crack under a door.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Like a Fairytale.¡±


    I say, ¡°Seriously. Stop using the ¡®F¡¯ word. Even when it is part of another word. Don¡¯t say ¡®wee folk¡¯ or ¡®gentry¡¯ or anything like that. Don¡¯t ever say ¡®little people.¡¯ Imagine that all of that is racist and not politically correct. Never stare. I am serious, never, never stare. If you see something extraordinary, just glance at it. Don¡¯t point, look at it too long or make a fuss. If you want to warn us, say, ¡®That¡¯s interesting¡¯ or ¡®That was interesting.¡¯ Karen and I will both know what you mean.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You are making this sound like the beginning of a horror story.¡±


    I say, ¡°It might well be. Don¡¯t lie, not even a little lie. Don¡¯t wish for anything.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Just like a Fair-- One of those old stories.¡±


    I say, ¡°Exactly, but more like the really old, creepy ones. Let¡¯s start practicing now. Don¡¯t use the ¡®F¡¯ word anymore. Don¡¯t act familiar with strangers. Don¡¯t be rude. Always be generous. Don¡¯t say thank you. Act grateful, but don¡¯t say you are grateful for anything. Be grateful for everything. Don¡¯t use the word, ¡®you.¡¯ Be careful with thees and thous. ¡®Ye¡¯ is more polite. Keep your gaze moving. Even if you are invited to look, don¡¯t look for long.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°This is building up to be your best story yet. Don¡¯t stop. This is great! You really have a talent, Danny. I wish I could--¡±


    I interrupt him. ¡°I mean it, don¡¯t ever finish that sentence.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You make this sound real.¡±


    I say, ¡°Let¡¯s act like it is, at least for the weekend. Karen would love it if you played along and followed our best advice on this.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I think she would. I can¡¯t do enough for her so I guess I have to play along. You know that it is kind of hard being married to the perfect wife.¡±


    I wonder how hard it is for Karen to be the perfect wife, but I don¡¯t say anything. We have reached the park.


    Karen has the window down and is talking to a park ranger. Brent gets out and walks over. Brent goes into the office with the ranger for a moment and they come back out and talk a bit more while gesturing and pointing to the different roads. I look at where they are pointing and the road I have taken before is blocked off. Brent and the ranger start walking towards my car. I roll down the window. The ranger looks at me. I think he recognizes me. He looks around like he is being watched.


    The ranger looks at me again and says, ¡°It¡¯s okay then.¡± He walks to the blockade with the closed sign and moves it off the road.


    Brent goes to the window of the Suburban and talks for a bit with Karen. He walks around to the passenger side and gets in. They start driving down the road best not taken. I don¡¯t have much choice. I follow them.


    #


    We have the whole campsite to ourselves. The water is running and the bathrooms are clean ,apart from a few leaves that have blown in. We set up tents. Karen and Brent want to see the stars, so we are not going to make a campfire. Karen is putting together chicken salad sandwiches by the light of the moon. She hands me a couple of loaves to set out in the woods. I walk out into the woods, looking for a stump or bolder to set the bread on.


    The man who is sort of my in-law is sitting on a large flat lichen covered rock on the ridge. I sit beside him and offer him a loaf of bread. He takes it and hands me his sister, my violin. I already have the bow in my hand. It happens that way sometimes.


    He puts his cold hand on my shoulder and says, ¡°It¡¯s no good for ye lingering when thou hast position and folk waiting for thee.¡±


    I say, ¡°As long as my sister lingers, I will abide. By thy measure, it is not so long a wait.¡±


    He takes a bite of bread and wraps up the rest of the loaf. I play for him.


    He says, ¡°I do get a measure of good bread every now and then, so I suppose I can wait.¡±


    I keep playing. A musician can be forgiven much and doesn¡¯t need to talk.


    We sit for a while until I see a flashlight beam in the distance. Brent must have heard me playing and decided to come out after me.


    My sort of in-law looks at the other loaf that I put down.


    I say, ¡°It¡¯s for thee and thine.¡±


    He says, ¡°The job offer is real,¡± as he fades out of sight.


    I whisper, ¡°And I should ignore the giggling then?¡±


    I hear a giggle as Brent shines the light in my face. I close my eyes and play.


    Brent walks over and sits beside me.


    He says, ¡°This rock is freezing cold.¡±


    We get up and start walking back. His flashlight is ruining my night vision and he keeps shining it off in every direction. I really hate flashlights.


    #


    The tents and cars are within sight when Brent asks me, ¡°When did you bring out your violin?¡±


    I say, ¡°This girl is the only one that will not leave me for another. She gets lost from time to time but her brother always brings her back to me.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°That almost makes sense. Like a riddle. Wait! I think I got it figured out. The bow is her brother.¡±


    Brent¡¯s guess isn¡¯t even close but I don¡¯t bother to correct him.


    #


    We are at the campsite. They brought an extra canvas camp stool, so I sit and start playing. One of the nice things about playing music is that you don¡¯t have to make conversation.


    My sister gives me a chicken salad sandwich and says, ¡°We have cookies for desert.¡±


    As I eat, Brent says, ¡°Hands down, Karen makes the best chicken salad sandwiches anywhere. I would not trade one of these for steak.¡±


    I say, ¡°I probably wouldn¡¯t either. One more rule. Don¡¯t make absolute declarations. Some might take it as a challenge.¡±


    I hear giggling. Brent turns his head and then asks me, ¡°Is that your cell phone?¡±


    I am about to tell him I left my cell phone in my car when it rings. I take it out of my pocket and answer it. There is no sound. I mess with the phone for a bit. It doesn¡¯t show that a call came in. A normal call couldn¡¯t. There is no coverage out here.


    I turn my phone off and get ready to play my violin. Karen brings me a blue speckled mug of switchel. Brent grimaces.


    Brent says, ¡°Mmm, delicious vinegar, ginger and syrup. I don¡¯t know how you can face it. I am pretty sure that Karen makes the best switchel, so I am positive that I will never like the stuff.¡±


    I hear giggling. Brent and Karen heard it, too.


    I say, ¡°Right after I warned you not to make any absolute declarations.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Isn¡¯t there a night bird that makes a giggling noise?¡±


    I finish my sandwich and start playing. Karen and Brent sit together and listen. After a while Karen goes back to their car to get more switchel.


    She sits back down and says, ¡°Brent, you will have to go easy on it. I only made enough switchel for two people.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°The lemon in it makes it perfect.¡±


    I say, ¡°Water will be fine for me. We should save some switchel for the hike.¡±


    #


    In the morning, Brent and Karen have already packed away their tent and put everything but their packs in their car. They help me take down my tent and pack my stuff away.


    I say, ¡°Brent, it looks like it might rain. Let¡¯s just get in my car and have a nice drive in the mountains.¡±


    I pat my car. Brent shakes his head and points up. The clouds and fog are clearing up.


    We take the trail until we get to an outcropping that I marked on the map.


    Brent says, ¡°I don¡¯t see the logging road.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°It has grown over. If you look for two gaps between rows of trees, you can see it still.¡±


    We follow what was once a road that became a rarely used trail. There are trees growing in the middle. It hasn¡¯t been a road anytime recently. When the road crosses a creek, I wash my face and refill my bota. This is one of the few creeks I still trust. Brent has already gone through the switchel. Hopefully, his appetite for it fades in a lunar month or two. Some of these enchantments only last for a while; some are harder to get rid of. I think switchel in moderation is probably good for you. Living on it could be bad over time.


    We sit on a log that has fallen across the overgrown trail.


    Brent asks, ¡°How much further?¡±


    I say, ¡°I am not exactly sure. I am hoping we have lost our way and won¡¯t be able to find it.¡±


    Karen asks, ¡°Do you think we could be that lucky?¡±


    I say, ¡°No. I suspect we will find it easily. Worse yet, I think Brent will see it.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°You and Linda actually made it out this far?¡±


    I say, ¡°No, Linda and I broke up over a stairway I don¡¯t have on my maps.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Now you are telling me there are lots of stairs in the woods. Are they from buildings that have decayed?¡±


    Karen nods to me.


    I say, ¡°Imagine that you could make doorways to a place where you-- A place that you call home. Now imagine that these doorways are kind of expensive, don¡¯t move, and they last a very, very long time.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°A door to an invisible world?¡±


    I nod and say, ¡°After time, the earth washes away and it gets hard to reach the doorway.¡±


    Brent starts to ask, ¡°Can¡¯t the--.¡± He laughs at himself and asks, ¡°Okay, why wouldn¡¯t someone fly to the doorway?¡±


    I say, ¡°Flying is a pretty recent addition to the tales.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Some can.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Turning into a crow is pretty classic.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Not all of your servants can shift.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Not a problem. I just gift them with the power of shifting.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°I don¡¯t think it''s that easy. Danny, why wouldn''t they gift everyone?¡±


    I say, ¡°I don¡¯t know. It might lower the value. Maybe you have to have a downside for every thing you get. It mostly seems that way.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to pay anything for the gold violin.¡±


    I say, ¡°That was a gamble. Rather high risk. It isn¡¯t the same thing.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Do you really have a golden violin?¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Gold, not golden and he keeps cutting parts off of it to pay for things.¡±


    Brent asks me, ¡°Really?¡±


    I say, ¡°I sold off the pegs, strings, tailpiece and end pins. I ran out of money and I had to start sawing off pieces. I still have the body and most of the neck.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°What do you need a job for then?¡±


    I say, ¡°Being homeless is a constant expense.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Buy a house.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°He can¡¯t.¡±


    I say, ¡°We should keep going. We still have to get back to camp and drive home today, unless you are calling in sick to work.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Brent has Monday off, but he likes to rest at home for a day before going back to work.¡±


    We get up and keep hiking.


    Brent sees it first. We head off the road and down the slope until the sinkhole beside the stair is visible.


    Brent says, ¡°This set of stairs isn¡¯t that old. What were they really making? There is nothing around here.¡±


    He starts walking down the slope toward the stairs. He gets to the edge of the sinkhole and looks back at us. Karen puts her arm around me. Great, she is taller than I am now. I need to be more careful what I say.


    Brent asks, ¡°Do you think they were going to make a house and when the sinkhole appeared they changed their mind?¡±


    I shake my head.


    Brent walks back to us and says, ¡°You know the whole thing is kind of funny. I wanted to climb the stairs, but I felt kind of weird about the whole thing. I think the stairs are probably dangerous being so close to a sinkhole.¡±


    Brent leads and we start heading to the campsite. He pauses like he wants to go back. I know that feeling. It draws you until you get close enough to feel the wrong. Eventually you get over the feeling of wrong. That¡¯s when the trouble starts.


    I say, ¡°We will probably be late getting back.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°We can always come back. This was kind of fun.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°You want to be a father, Brent. As a father, you can¡¯t take silly risks like this.¡±


    Brent thinks about it and we keep hiking back to the campsite.


    When we get to our log resting place, Brent says, ¡°This is pretty elaborate, Danny. There really was a stairway. Now I want to go see the one that Linda broke up with you over.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Brent, please.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Tell me ''I can¡¯t'' and I won¡¯t.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±


    I say, ¡°She will never give you an order. Just as she won¡¯t disobey your order once you put your foot down.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°That is one of the things I don¡¯t get.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Danny, tell him.¡±


    I ask, ¡°We agree that Karen is the perfect wife?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°More like a chauvinist''s dream of a perfect wife. It is frightening sometimes. I really don¡¯t deserve her. I feel guilty. I wish she would stand up for herself.¡±


    I say, ¡°When we were still children, the lord of this valley asked her to forsake the mortal realm and become his bride. He offered her a wish. She said, ¡®My only real wish is to marry a mortal and be a perfect wife.'' I expect that when you pass away, she will be taken by the lord of this valley. Until then and maybe even after, I suspect that she will have no choice but to be a perfect bride and wife.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°That would explain my lovely Karen. I almost want to believe it.¡±


    I say, ¡°I fear that she is not all there. I fear that the part of her that would not have been a perfect wife--¡±


    I stop talking. I have said too much.


    Karen pats me on the arm and says, ¡°I am still all here, and I am free despite being bound.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°You have to do better than that, Karen. Danny just came up with a perfect story to explain you. It even matches with your dated view of duty.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Imagine that you are up late at a wonderful party. You know that you will have to go to bed soon and you should really leave. But you are having too much fun and you put it off. You keep putting it off longer and longer. You would even fight and bite someone who tried to drag you away from the party. My life is like a party. I will have to go to bed eventually, but right now the party has just begun. There are rules at the party. You can¡¯t just dance how you want. It is an old formal and traditional dance. The rules are not anything you couldn¡¯t break except you don¡¯t want to break them. At least that is how I see it. Who knows? Maybe I am fooled by it all.¡±


    Brent kisses his wife on the cheek and says, ¡°We should probably keep going. I have to thank both of you. This has been wonderful, and the story is just creepy enough to have me believe it. We have to check out the other stairs later.¡±


    I say, ¡°Brent, you know we are both serious about this. The stairs are not safe places.¡±


    Brent laughs and gets up. We continue hiking. We stop at the creek and fill our canteens and botas.


    Brent says, ¡°I guess we are safe now.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Why are we safe now?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°We are crossing water.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°You can¡¯t entirely go by the old tales. A lot of them are fiction. A lot of these things live in water. Thrive in it, really.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°It isn¡¯t fair changing the rules on me.¡±


    I reply, ¡°That¡¯s what I always said.¡±


    We get to the proper trail and Brent says, ¡°We are definitely visiting the other stairs.¡±


    I hear something. Maybe laughter. It is hard to tell. The birds are singing and we are heading down the trail. I fear that there may not be an escape from this.


    Brent says, ¡°You know, a golden violin is not really a--. You know, it is more of a hell thing.¡±


    I say, ¡°You are correct.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Where does the golden violin come in?¡±


    Karen says, ¡°Beg pardon, darling husband. That would be a gold violin.¡±


    Brent smiles. ¡°Honestly, Karen, you really do act like Danny¡¯s story is true.¡±


    We walk a bit more and Brent says, ¡°No answer then. It seems I stumped you on the gold violin.¡±


    I ask, ¡°You know the stairs in the woods?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Yes.¡±


    I say, ¡°I never said that all of them go up.¡±

 Trials

    I¡¯m sweating in my poncho. I am wearing it more to keep my pack dry than to protect myself. A pair of girls on horseback pass. One of them stares as she passes. I think it is because the horse I am walking beside doesn¡¯t have a halter. As if I could control her with a halter.


    My phone goes off. It has been trying to get my attention all day. There is no coverage out here and I have not been introduced to any of the folk in this area. I am more than a little scared to answer it. I am a good six hours from the nearest road so I wouldn¡¯t be able to help if there were a real emergency anyway.


    The rain starts pouring down. There is a relatively dry spot under a large tree limb so I get under it. My horse decides to join me and crowds in close.


    I am pushed against the trunk with my horse''s face right next to mine. Her hot breath isn¡¯t helping. She is wet but I hug her anyway. My phone goes off again. I ignore it. It is probably dead from getting wet.


    There is a man standing in the rain looking at me with a harsh expression. I have my arm around the neck of my horse that is between me and the man. I don¡¯t know what the man is capable of but if a fight is about to start, I am betting on the horse.


    I nod and look back at the horse. I keep the man in my peripheral vision.


    He offers a cylindrical leather case to me. It looks like a bottle might be in it. This is a bad situation. I don¡¯t want to refuse his hospitality. I don¡¯t want to drink gossamer. I really don¡¯t want to get drunk, drugged or whatever.


    I take it from him. He is watching me as I open it. It has a document in it. I look up at the rain and then at the document. I don¡¯t want to get it wet. It looks official somehow.


    The rain stops. I glance at the man. He is in old formal clothing, the sort of thing a man might have been buried in a hundred years ago. He is also dry. He is looking at the case he handed me. My horse shifts closer to me. Now if I let go of her I am going to fall over in front of this fine gentleman. I only have one hand free, so I tuck the case under my arm and awkwardly pull the document out with my free hand.


    The document starts off with the words, ¡°You have been summoned to appear in --¡±


    #


    I am no longer under a tree in the rain. I look around at the courtroom set up in the middle of an apple grove. At least my horse is with me. I am in a large and delicately carved enclosure, I fear I may be on trial here. I let go of my horse and examine the document. The names are all blurry, but it looks like I have been called as a witness and not as a defendant. I glance up and see a group of gentlemen walking to a table.


    Now I recognize the folk I am with. There are more apple trees here than there were when I first came here. This is not a court I want to be in.


    I don¡¯t recognize the judge. I don¡¯t stare. From my glance she appears to be a young human girl, at most 20 years old. Appearances in these places are usually deceiving so I can¡¯t really guess. She is wearing an old fashioned judge''s wig. She has long braids of brown hair that are not covered by the wig. She is small with delicate features. My impression is that she is rather cute, but I don¡¯t get a good look. Good looks are dangerous. In front of me is an actual Fairy with wings. Really cute. I smile and then remember to look away.


    The Fairy nods to me. I take another glimpse at her again. Very pretty, like a porcelain doll.


    My horse and I are standing on a raised platform with railings. A Fairy, one tall enough to look down at me, is standing in front of my platform. He asks, ¡°Doest thou pledge to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, lest thy powers be turned against thee?¡±


    I look up and say, ¡°If I say anything, I will labor to tell the truth.¡±


    The Fairy says, ¡°''I do,'' is the expected response.¡±


    I say, ¡°No disrespect intended. Yet I must be clear and straightforward. As one who is not a citizen cherished and protected by this authority, my fealty is to another lord.¡±


    The judge asks, ¡°Is there aught that might keep thee from telling us the truth unvarnished?¡±


    I look over and on the other side of her is the one that cursed me when I first met him. He leans on the railing around his stand and gives me a cold stare.


    The judge notices my look and glances back at the man I am looking at.


    I say, ¡°The balance of protecting things dear to me does battle with my desire to be sincere. For the sake of those I am kin to and beholden, I cannot be as free with my speech as thou might desire. Without knowing the relations and conflicts that might exist between thy kingdom and those I have connection to, there are things that I will not reveal or discuss.¡±


    The judge looks toward the front of the court and says, ¡°This witness, we think, will tell true but little. Thou canst proceed, inquisitor.¡±


    I look away, the judge is definitely pretty. In my moment''s look, I noticed stray hair. Not artfully stray hair. Accidental stray hair. I think she is a mortal.


    The small Fairy with wings dips up and down in the air in front of me and asks, ¡°Wouldst thou identify thyself before the court?¡±


    I nod and say, ¡°I am still human so I will not complain if thou callest me, ¡®Danny.¡¯ I have no property in Fairy or Real. All I can claim is a steed and what she can carry. I play a violin and I am sometimes called ''Prophecy.¡¯¡±


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    The small Fairy points at the man that cursed me and asks, ¡°Doest thou know this individual?¡±


    I answer, ¡°This lord has given me lesson and taught me to be an honest man. It is to him that I owe the name, ¡®Prophecy.¡¯ Barring an accident or other ill fortune, he is also the one that will have ended my life.¡±


    One of the men at the table in front of me stands and says ¡°Objection, your honor. Speculation.¡±


    The judge says, ¡°Since I am judge and jury, I suppose I must order myself to ignore that statement. This witness is too much of a hairsplitter anyway. Councilor, please try to make thy surprise witnesses more interesting.¡±


    The Fairy with the wings pulls a wand and turns me into a purple pig with tentacles and asks, ¡°Is this better?¡±


    The folk gathered around laugh at my disorientation.


    The judge says, ¡°Much.¡±


    The Fairy with wings asks me, ¡°Canst thou describe thy meeting with this gentleman?¡±


    I squeal.


    The judge says, ¡°Change him back. There is no point in his being here if he can¡¯t talk.¡±


    The Fairy dispels the enchantment and I return to my original form. The Fairy smiles and winks at me like she and I just got away with something.


    The Fairy asks ¡°Once again, canst thou describe thy meeting with this gentleman?¡±


    I say, ¡°When I was eight and my sister six, we were chased by wild dogs and got lost in the woods. We wandered hungry with nothing but blueberries to eat. Then we chanced on a stone stairway in the woods. I wanted to climb it to see over the trees and maybe find our way home. Something made me fear it. As I turned away, my sister ran past me and up the stairs. I called for her to come back. She paused on the stairs and said, ''It might be to Heaven.'' I did not run after her. I was afraid she might fall from this stairway to nowhere.¡±


    The man who objected earlier says, ¡°Objection, your honor. This Fairyland is not named ''Nowhere.'' ¡±


    The judge says, ¡°Objection sustained. Nowhere is the name of one of my brother''s Fairylands and it can''t be accessed by a stairway in the woods.¡±


    They all look at me so I continue. ¡°Standing far enough back to see her on the stairs and close enough to hopefully break her fall, I saw her run to the top and disappear. I had little choice. I raced up the stairs and after her. In this same grove I saw my sister crying. She insisted that she had been here for hours before I joined her. I went to pick an apple but my sister said that I shouldn¡¯t. It was then that a man who looked to be made of bark and wood said, ¡®The Good Book says that eating from trees in another man¡¯s orchard is not theft.¡¯¡±


    I pause as the men at the tables whisper to each other.


    I continue talking, ¡°My sister still did not want me to pick an apple. I ignored her warning and picked one anyway. Neither of us had eaten anything substantial in far too long.¡±


    I look over at the one who cursed me.


    I say, ¡°I was trying to convince my sister to have the first bite when the lord in question approached.


    ¡°His grace didst ask me, ''For what purpose didst thou pick fruit from my orchard?''


    ¡°I said, ¡°It was ripe and I thought I could collect them for you.


    ¡°The Lord of this grove said, ¡®I could have forgiven a child speaking so roughly. But I would be remiss if I did not teach thee to not lie to one''s betters.¡¯¡±


    The judge stands and climbs down the stairs at the back of her platform.


    She walks over in front of me and makes a step stool appear before my stand and climbs up it until she is eye to eye with me. I glimpse a flash of green eyes as I glance down.


    She says, ¡°This is rough justice indeed.¡±


    The Fairy flying beside her asks, ¡°Canst thou cure it?¡±


    She says, ¡°If not, then my brother probably can. Sadly, we must preserve evidence until the inquisition is over. More sadly, the wheels of justice in Fairy are the slowest wheels I know. Still, it would be even sadder if our evidence disappeared entirely.¡±


    She jumps down from and picks up her step stool. I look away as she walks towards the lord who cursed me.


    I glance back as she climbs the step stool and says, ¡°Such justice to a lost eight year old that quite likely was lost due to thee. Let me warn thee that if this evidence disappears, then thou wilt follow soon behind.¡±


    She jumps from the step stool and it disappears. She climbs back up to her platform and sits down.


    She looks out at the crowd and says, ¡°Thou doest know that when a judge stands, thou art supposed to stand as well. Three demerits to all of thee.¡±


    There is a groan.


    She says, ¡°If there is another outbreak like that then thou wilt lose brownie points as well.¡±


    I smile. I don¡¯t think that most of the crowd understood her.


    She says, ¡°Continue with thy witness.¡±


    The Fairy flying in front of me says, ¡°For now, I am through with the witness.¡±


    The judge asks, ¡°Does the defense wish to cross-examine the witness?¡±


    A thin man with pointed ears gets up from beside the man that was making the objections. He walks up in front of me and regards me for a moment.


    He asks, ¡°Can thou prove that thou art cursed?¡±


    I say, ¡°There wilt be less of me if I do. I would rather not.¡±


    He asks, ¡°Furthermore, since thy story is from when thou wert a child, canst thou prove that this is the lord that cursed thee?¡±


    I stand as tall as I can and say, ¡°My curse has an odd benefit to it. When I tell a falsehood, I shrink by a half inch, even if I don¡¯t know it to be false. In this manner I can indeed prove what thou doest ask. Since I can use this to answer questions that none know the answer to, some call me Prophecy.¡±


    I notice something as I stand tall beside my horse. I am nearly a foot and a half taller than I was. I may have had the curse removed somehow. I smile. I may have just lied to the man and not suffered from it.


    The man with the pointed ears says, ¡°I am through with this witness.¡±


    The judge says, ¡°The witness can step down. We may need him later, but for now he is free to go as he pleases. Please escort him to the gateway and call the next surprise witness.¡±


    I am led a distance into the orchard and a doorway opens. Making sure I am holding the mane on my horse, I step through.


    #


    We are at the top of the stairway where at one time I followed my sister into Fairy. They are a solid and broad stairs but I am crowded by my horse.


    I say, ¡°You first.¡±


    My horse walks down the stairs and looks back at me. I walk down the stairs. I have finally found the stairway in the woods where it all started. I can find the house where Karen and I lived. It has been too many years. There is no chance that our parents still live. Not much chance that there is any family left around. No chance at all that anyone would remember Karen and me. Still, if the house is still there, I want to see it.


    I carefully draw landmarks on a map as I head downhill and then downstream. This is the one way I know that is almost sure to find civilization. We come to an old one lane bridge that crosses the stream. We go down the road until we get to a gate. My horse backs up and runs to the gate and jumps it. It looks back at me. I climb the gate by the hinges, and my horse comes close to me so that I can climb on its back.


    I ride until we get to another gate by a paved road. I get off and my horse runs and jumps the gate. It turns back into my car and starts the engine. I get in the driver''s seat and sit back for a moment.


    I say, ¡°This changes everything. My search for stairways in the woods is finally over.¡±


    I feel myself shrink half an inch.

 Hell and Back

    Brent isn¡¯t talking to me. He gave up on trying to get the car radio to work and now he is looking out the window or looking at his reflection in the dark glass. I am not sure. I am driving fast and focused on the road and rear view mirrors. Brent occasionally takes out his cell phone to see what time it is. I don¡¯t really care. It is after midnight and we are hellbound.


    We pull off the highway and start driving into the woods. We cross a bridge and the road gets worse. We get out and I take out the headlights, loppers, and pruning shears I bought while it was still day.


    I hand Brent a headlight and put on my backpack. It is mostly empty apart from water, tools and a small green vase.


    I say, ¡°Brent, please, whatever you do, don¡¯t shine a light in my face.¡±


    Brent shines the light in my face, mutters, ¡°Sorry,¡± and adjusts the angle of his headlight. We walk for a bit. My horse catches up with us and nuzzles me.


    I pat her and ask, ¡°Are you sure you want to come?¡±


    My horse nuzzles me.


    Brent asks, ¡°Is that your horse?¡±


    My horse says, ¡°He¡¯s my boy.¡±


    I turn and look at my horse for a bit. This is the first time I have heard her speak.


    We get to the wild roses and start clipping a path through the briers. There is a large circle of well fitted stones with a spiral stair going down. My horse snorts. The spiral stair is too tightly curved for a horse as large as she.


    I put my arm around her neck and hug her. She pulls free and gives me a look with her deep brown eyes. She reaches past me and carefully bites a rose from a bush and eats it.


    That reminds me. I take the vase, put some water in it and put a single wild rose in it.


    Brent says, ¡°Is this the way to hell?¡±


    I say, ¡°Fastest way I know.¡±


    Brent starts heading down.


    I say, ¡°Don¡¯t look back.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Isn¡¯t that when you are leaving hell?¡±


    I say, ¡°I just don¡¯t want to be blinded by your headlight.¡±


    The stairway is long and we need a break. We are in a hurry though. We continue endlessly down the spiral until we can see light ahead of us.


    I say, ¡°Let¡¯s take a quick break.¡± I hand Brent a canteen and sit on the stairs above him. We rest a bit before we continue walking down.


    #


    A man sitting at a table with a pair of girls in swimsuits gestures to us. We walk around the pool and past several other tables. The man gestures for the girls to leave. One of them brushes my shoulder with her hand as she passes by. We sit down and the man leans forward and takes off his sunglasses.


    He points to the place in front of me and shouts, ¡°Waiter, can I get a drink for my friend?¡±


    He looks at Brent and says, ¡°Don¡¯t eat or drink anything while you are in hell.¡±


    I say, ¡°One of the gentry kidnapped my sister.¡±


    The man says, ¡°Foolish of him, but more are caught by the coverup than are caught by the crime. The Fairies are much too used to doing whatever they wish. Most of them don¡¯t even understand guilt or responsibility.¡±


    He says to Brent, ¡°On that subject, let me advise you that mercy, charity and forgiveness are things you should really cultivate.¡±


    The waiter places a frozen drink with an umbrella in it in front of me.


    I say, ¡°I hate to appear boorish, but I brought water and I am on a fairly exclusive diet right now.¡±


    The man laughs and says, ¡°You came to me for weapons. Drinking that would be the least of your issues.¡±


    I put the vase with the single wild rose on the table in front of the man.


    He turns into a lovely tanned lady and smells the flower.


    She asks, ¡°What gave me away?¡±


    I say, ¡°It is hard to hide timeless beauty.¡±


    She says, ¡°Speaking of which, time is passing.You should not tarry.¡±


    She puts a pair of sheathed swords on the table and four bags tied with drawstrings.


    Brent picks up a sword. I look at a bag.


    She says, ¡°These bags contain a weapon forged in a hell that the Fairies fear. Since before time was recorded this dark weapon has given hell the upper hand in all disputes. Take care and use this wisely.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Is it safe for me to look in the bag?¡±


    She says, ¡°Absolutely. It¡¯s just iron filings.¡±


    She gets up and offers her hand to me. I bow and kiss it. She waves at Brent and says, ¡°A fond farewell, Brent. Let¡¯s not meet often.¡±


    As we walk around the pool Brent syss, ¡°She didn¡¯t even try to tempt me. Am I that boring?¡±


    A curvaceous girl in the pool in front of us tosses her beach ball at Brent. Brent isn¡¯t ready for it and the ball rolls off.


    She says, ¡°Hells have no trouble recruiting. We try to be a bit careful about who we are going to spend forever with. Your companion plays a violin wonderfully. The only instrument you are qualified to play is a wobble board.¡±


    Another girl says, ¡°Don¡¯t talk to him. He is going to think you are interested.¡±


    The girl that threw the beach ball says, ¡°I don¡¯t mind brutally rejecting him so there is no downside if he does.¡±


    I push Brent and say, ¡°You''re married to my sister and she has been kidnapped by Fairies.¡±


    Brent looks guilty so I say, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. What happens in hell stays in hell.¡±


    Another girl who is walking by says, ¡°As if.¡±


    #


    We get to the top of the stair and my horse isn¡¯t there.


    We walk to the bridge and my car is on the other side. We get in and I start looking over the map.


    I start the car and ask, ¡°Can you sleep while I drive?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I am not sure I could sleep and I am scared of my dreams. Let me drive while you sleep.¡±


    My car stalls out.


    I say, ¡°I don¡¯t think that is going to work out. Do you mind if I play the violin?¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Why?¡±


    I say, ¡°I have a lot to think about and I think it will be easier for me to think if I play a few songs first.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°Fine, whatever.¡±


    I take out my bow and my violin is in my other hand. I play a few songs and put Brent to sleep. I play a few more to make sure he stays asleep.


    My car starts up. I drive for a bit and mull over what comes next. I should probably leave Brent somewhere but I may need him. My car takes over and I catch a bit of sleep myself.


    I wake up and Brent is talking, ¡°Wait, I think he is waking up.¡±


    My car is still driving. Brent hands me my phone.


    I say, ¡°Hello?¡±


    The voice on the other end says, ¡°Danny, my Danny, ye have good cause for war. As I love thee, I grant thee permission to wage it. Don¡¯t go too far with it and keep it small. There are forces watching that we best not offend.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Doest thou mean the lady justice, my lord?¡±


    Since I took the job he offered, he expects me to address him that way every now and then.


    The voice seems closer as it says, ¡°Justice under the hill has always been lax. There is reason for us to fear it. Most of the gentry are hoping this fad passes quickly.¡±


    I glance in the rear view mirror and my liege is sitting in the back seat by my pack.


    I say, ¡°More like the top of a stair than under the hill.¡±


    My liege says, ¡°Raising a cairn is ever so much more expensive than a simple stairway. Modern economics have forced our hands.¡±


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    I ask, ¡°There are limits to the wealth of the folk?¡±


    My liege says, ¡°Attracting explorers instead of grave robbers has its advantage and children are lured in either way. Danny, my squire, I do love and treasure thee. I would ask that thou tryest to keep thy soul clean in this endeavor.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Have I been elevated to a squire?¡±


    There is no answer. I glance in the rear view mirror and there is no one there.


    #


    At the stairway in the woods where it all started, Brent and I appraise each other. We have two bags each. Brent and I have our swords belted on. I am holding my violin and bow. Brent is holding a two foot by three foot sheet of hardboard.


    Brent asks me, ¡°Are you sure about this, Danny?¡±


    I say, ¡°It works to our advantage. The residents are inclined to admit musicians, and one of the few things you can count on is the safety of a musician playing.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°There is something wrong with these stairs.¡±


    I say, ¡°More than just a few things, but Karen needs us.¡±


    Brent starts walking up the stairs. At the top I nod to him. He starts warping the hardboard sheet back and fourth and it makes a woop-woop, woop-woop sound. I tuck my violin under my chin and we start playing the music to Rolf Harris¡¯ ¡°Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport.¡± It seems appropriate. There is a lot that is wrong with that song.


    The gateway opens and we step in. We continue playing as we stroll into the orchard. The man who cursed me and kidnapped Karen smiles as he sees me. His entourage gathers around. His smile says, ¡°You will have to stop playing eventually.¡±


    My smile does not tell him that he will be fast asleep well before that time comes. I give them a bit more music and we near the end of the song. I don¡¯t know if Brent knows to keep playing, and I don¡¯t have a good way to tell him not to stop. I play them all to sleep. I play a bit longer and make sure they sleep as deeply as I can manage.


    I drag Brent away from the rest and go back and play a bit more to make sure they stay sleeping.


    I shake Brent awake and gesture for him to stay silent as we search. Every ten minutes or so I have Brent get in a comfortable position and I play everyone back into a deep sleep. After waking Brent, we search the manor house. It is mostly empty apart from sleeping hounds. We search until we are sure there is no place my sister could be hidden unless she has been transformed into something we missed. I am beginning to suspect that is the case. I find a balcony where I can play from so that everyone can hear. I have to keep waking Brent. Brent is going further and further into the orchard to see if he can be out of range. I still have to go out and wake him each time. He has had more rest than I so I need his eyes in case I miss something.


    Out in the orchard, Brent wakes up and points to a small newly planted tree. Hanging from the tree is a silver locket that Brent gave Karen.


    Brent quietly says, ¡°I think Karen has been here by this tree.¡±


    I touch a leaf gently and say, ¡°I think Karen is the tree.¡±


    Brent takes my shoulder and carefully moves me from the tree. He points to a single small green apple just forming on the tree. I am not sure, but Karen may be with child.


    I go back to the manor house playing everyone to sleep. I step carefully past the sleeping hounds and take the master''s spell book from its stand and put in in my pack. I play my way back out to where Brent is and wake him up.


    I alternate between studying the book of spells and making sure that everyone is asleep. I need rest, but I cannot stop. Not now. Not here.


    I find what I think is the right spell to free Karen. I copy the patterns in the book. I make lines on the ground. I wet the soil and pack it down as the lines lose distinction. The last bit is a long incantation. I practice it in pieces, playing the violin with it as I continue playing everyone to sleep. I don¡¯t want to start casting until I know the spell, so I make it a broken chant to sing as I play. I am tired but I get it down. I must if I am going to save my sister. I wake Brent.


    I quietly say, ¡°Brent, the incantation may take a bit. You will need to be ready to defend Karen and me as I finish it.¡±


    He has the sword and iron filings ready as I start the incantation. I get in the stance shown in the diagram and hold my hands in the manner illustrated. A wind whips up. I continue the chant. I shift to the next position. I see a large green worm inching its way towards Karen. I have to continue the chant and hold position. I have no way to tell Brent of the danger. I finish this part of the chant and rotate as I shift to the next position and step on the worm as I shift.


    It squirms and bites me as I continue the chant. Brent sees it and spears it with his sword. The worm dissolves to a stain on the loose bare dirt. I keep chanting. Fairies gather around. I still have verses to go and the Fairies are awake. Brent cannot cover us in all directions with just himself and a single blade.


    He takes a bag in hand and holds his sword ready. He doesn¡¯t want to let go of the sword, so he awkwardly unties the string with his teeth pulling at the string. A bit of iron dust falls to the ground. The Fairies back up.


    The dust starts eating a hole in the ground. Brent drops his sword and digs with his hands to keep the iron dust from reaching the pattern. The side of the hole he is reaching across collapses as the hole deepens and Brent falls into the hole. I keep chanting. Brent is holding the bank of earth next to the pattern so that the wall does not collapse. He is slowly sinking deeper into the hole.


    The pattern lights up as I near completion. I am not quite finished when the ground collapses and I fall into the hole. I keep chanting. The pattern above me is still glowing. Brent is at the bottom of the hole and he has managed to get his shirt off. He is taking handfuls of dirt and putting them in his shirt. I finish the chant and Karen falls on me.


    Brent says, ¡°We need to get out of this hole and this Fairyland as quickly as we can.¡±


    I look over at him as he starts scooping soil from the wall and steps up on the mound.


    Karen says, ¡°Pack the soft dirt beneath us. It may still hold for a bit.¡±


    Karen and I start stomping soil.


    Karen says, ¡°Gently! The iron is eating the gossamer soil.¡±


    Brent says, ¡°My shirt has most of the iron in it, but some must have fallen out of reach and will continue dissolving the ground below. We need to get out of this hole.¡±


    There is shouting above us. A rope is being lowered. The ground crumbles again and we slide against each other. The end of the rope brushes against me and then hits me in the face. Brent takes the rope and makes a large loop using a bowline knot.


    Brent gets Karen in the loop while I try to pack soil around the edge of a hole that is growing.


    Brent jerks twice on the rope and Karen is being lifted out. Brent and I are digging into the side of the hole to try and make a safer place to stand. All of the soil is soft and barely packed. This is a problem but it also makes our digging possible. The rope comes back down with the loop still in it. Brent has to reach up to grab it. He gestures for me to climb him and sit in the loop as the floor falls out from under us.


    I bounce on the side and keep falling. I land hard on a small rock or something. I take a deep breath and the pain is unbearable. I think I broke or bruised a rib. The rock slips beneath me. I reach into the hole it is in and grab the hilt of the sword Brent dropped. As I lift it, the soil it touches disappears. The ground beneath me is no longer shifting. I think this sword may have been what has been digging the hole beneath us as the steel dispelled the gossamer soil it touched. Something hard lands on my head. I feel the top of my head. Tender, but I don¡¯t think the skin is broken. I stand up. I reach down and pick up the magic book. I think that is what hit me.


    Taking shallow but still amazingly painful breaths, I start cutting a sloped tunnel up to the surface. The sword dissolves the soil in front of me. I reach the surface and the trees are gone. I walk through a crowd. My shirt is wet. I am bleeding a little. I find the gateway to the stair. I pass it and I spot Brent and Karen.


    In the middle of a crowd, Brent is asking, ¡°What is the limit? How far down does it go and what comes after that?¡±


    Someone answers, ¡°The pumps, but that is gossamer too.¡±


    Another asks, ¡°What happens when Danny hits the filters?¡±


    Karen asks, ¡°What are the filters?¡±


    Someone answers, ¡°They separate matter from gossamer, water from solids. This is a closed ecology and has to reprocess things. No one expects someone living to ever reach them.¡±


    Another says, ¡°Not that the great and mighty lords of Fairy would care.¡±


    I ask, ¡°Where is the lord of this domain?¡±


    A small man looks at me and says, ¡°They say that he turned back into a worm and someone liquidated him.¡±


    Another small man says, ¡°Not that any of us witnessed Danny and Brent liquidating him. Call it just another mysterious disappearance. A lot of them happen around here.¡±


    Karen hugs me and causes excruciating pain.


    She yells, right in my ear, ¡°Danny¡¯s okay.¡±


    Brent grabs her arm and asks, ¡°Danny, can you find the entrance? I don¡¯t think this place is going to last much longer.¡±


    I offer Brent his sword back and say, ¡°Brent, sheath this sword before it dissolves someone.¡±


    Brent takes the sword from me and puts it back in its sheath.


    A winged Fairy says, ¡°Someone irresponsibly turned the orchard back into stray children and hikers. Exactly what doest thou think we can do about this?¡±


    Brent says, ¡°I am scared this place is done for anyway. They need to get out of here.¡±


    The Fairy asks me, ¡°Doest thou know of a Fairyland that is accepting applicants?¡±


    I say, ¡°Probably,¡± and lead Karen and Brent to the gateway.


    The Fairy is following us. At the gateway to the stairs, small serious looking men, walking one after another, are coming in from the stairway with wooden wheelbarrows filled with dirt.


    The last one comes through and there is a rush to exit the Fairyland.


    Another flying Fairy yells, ¡°Be careful what thou doest trample. We want this to look like a large sinkhole when we finish.¡±


    The stairway has been covered with boards with small strips of wood to give traction. Dirt is scattered on the stair and I am scared someone is going to slip and fall off. There is a crowd going down the stairs so one person falling could take down several of us.


    We make our way to the bottom. Beside the stairway, a hole is being dug.


    A small man is yelling, ¡°We need ramps going down so we can dig from deep underground.¡±


    Another yells, ¡°That¡¯s too much work.¡±


    The first yells ¡°The more we disturb on the surface, the more likely it is for mortals to notice.¡±


    A Fairy beside us says, ¡°We are finished. Technically, Danny or Brent should be our king, but thou couldst not find two less qualified beings.¡±


    The Fairy that followed us looking for a new home pokes me and says, ¡°That wouldst be thou, unqualified.¡±


    There are pointy eared girls in plaid escorting children and hikers into the woods.


    I ask the Fairy, ¡°Who are they?¡±


    The Fairy says, ¡°Considering the timing, the cavalry. Late as usual.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°What is the cavalry?¡±


    I say, ¡°Considering where we are, best not try to make too much sense of things.¡±


    We get to the bridge. My liege lord and the judge are standing beside my car.


    My liege looks at me and then he looks at Karen. He looks at the book I am holding.


    He asks, ¡°Has my squire become a hedge wizard?¡±


    I kneel and wince as I say, ¡°I have learned one more spell.¡±


    He looks at the judge and asks, ¡°Do I have to release my Danny? I treasure him so dearly.¡±


    The Fairy looking for a new home pokes me again.


    I say, ¡°This little one needs a home.¡±


    My liege asks him, ¡°Doest thou play a violin?¡±


    The Fairy says, ¡°I tend magic trees.¡±


    My liege says, ¡°I suppose thou wilt do.¡±


    The Fairy hovers beside my liege and gestures towards us.


    The Fairy asks, ¡°So what do we do with these?¡±


    My liege asks, ¡°If I knight him, can I keep him?¡±


    The judge shakes her head.


    He asks, ¡°He can keep his job though?¡±


    The judge nods and says, ¡°Sorry I can¡¯t stay and talk. We have a lot of people to try and put back into the world.¡±


    She disappears. I stand up and wince. Not even shallow breathing helps when I stand up.


    My liege says, ¡°My Danny still works for me. I still expect him to continue his search and to play for us on holidays.¡±


    Karen lifts my shirt to look. I wince again. The scab that was forming came off when my shirt was pulled up and now I am bleeding a little.


    Karen says, ¡°We need to get Danny to a hospital.¡±


    I look up and my liege is gone. He wasn¡¯t my liege for long. Maybe he is just my boss now. He is still sort of my in-law, I am not sure it changes much.


    #


    As we drive, Brent asks, ¡°What happens next?¡±


    I ask, ¡°Can you try to bring up a web page and check the date?¡±


    Brent fumbles for a bit on his cell phone before he says, ¡°Barely five minutes has passed.¡±


    I say, ¡°I¡¯m relieved. You probably still have a house and a job. It is rather painful when twenty years pass without you.¡±


    Brent asks, ¡°Probably?¡±


    I don¡¯t answe. The answer is complicated and I don¡¯t really know what I am talking about. Not really.


    Karen says, ¡°Sometimes when you visit Fairy, things are not the same when you get back. It seems like things remain the same when it is just Danny visiting Fairy, but when we both go it can get strange.¡±


    I stay quiet. Some things are best kept to myself. I have felt like we are near a stair ever since we left. Who knows what that could mean.


    Brent says, ¡°We just passed a drug store. We should at least clean your wound and cover it.¡±


    We drive back to the drug store. I sit in the car as Brent and Karen go in. They come back with several bags.


    Karen says, ¡°This is probably going to hurt. Can you lift your shirt?¡±


    I lift my shirt. I don¡¯t have a wound anymore.


    Karen says, ¡°You were bleeding through your shirt. Did one of the folk heal you?¡±


    I say, ¡°Not that I noticed.¡±


    I feel and I can still tell that my rib was hit, but just barely.

 Falling

    As I hike to the stairs, I see a park ranger on the trail. I wave. He waves. As we get closer, he recognizes me and stops smiling. He doesn¡¯t even look as I pass. I look back and I am a little worried. He shouldn¡¯t go that fast on this rough trail.


    I leave the trail and start down the incline. The large rocks jutting out keep me from going down too fast. Slick leaves, boulders and thicket the whole way down. Near the creek, there is a wide stairway almost as if someone planned a tall bridge over the creek and ran out of money. I don¡¯t go right to the stairway. I am filthy from the rough climb down.


    I bathe in a stream as cold as I think a stream can be without turning to ice. I return to the base of the stairway where I left my backpack. My pack has been moved. I really want to complain to my boss, but I am not yet ready to ruin my life any worse than it already is. I am not sure that dying is going to be an escape, so I am damned if I do and damned if I don¡¯t.


    I check my backpack and my clothing has been exchanged for a new suit. It feels and looks nice, but I fear the tricks that the fair folk may pull. I try to find a spare thread or a bit of fluff, but the new clothing is too tough to pull a thread from. I want to check with steel to see if my new clothing is gossamer, but I don¡¯t want to end up with nothing. I debate wearing the cold wet clothing I just washed in the stream.


    I test the back of my knife by striking it across the stone at the stair''s base. I get a good spark so I think it is still my knife. I test one of the socks and it is real. Fairy pranksters are smart enough to guess that I might test things so I have no way to be sure my pants and underwear are real. Taking too much precaution can be a danger of its own so I think I am going to have to risk potential embarrassment. Before putting anything on I test my canteens and their contents. I set my steel wind up clock at the bottom of the stair and take a deep breath.


    I step into my boss'' amazing and lovely Fairyland. Of all of his lands, I like this one the most. I am at the top of a hill where a ring of standing stones supports a ring of capstones. My boss is dancing in a line with several ladies. Sitting on the ring well overhead are more gentle folk clapping and enjoying the music and dance.


    My violin appears in my hand. I pull my bow out and join the playing. I move in rhythm as I play and look for the other musicians. I turn and they are behind me. I bow to them, still playing and glance briefly at the girl playing something like a long hammer dulcimer. I glance away quickly. It is the judge. The other musicians clear a spot for me beside the girl.


    Great, it seems the Fairies want to set me up with a being that the lords of Fairy fear. I have always felt that my only safety has been while playing music. Now I fear that even that is gone. We play. She is good. More than just the magically gifted good. She is a genius. For moments I forget to fear her. I weave sorrowful tunes through the bright ones she plays. She plays with her fingers, plucking, pushing and striking strings. Her music covers the range of percussion and string. She brings elements into the music I have not heard before. At times the three other violinists stop and just listen to us play. Her music sounds both old fashioned, modern, classical and Far Eastern. I don¡¯t want this to stop. I almost cry and I have not done that for years.


    #


    My violin turns back into the little girl that is my boss'' sister. I take out the brush I keep for her and start to sort out her tangled hair.


    I ask, ¡°Violin, how doest thou keep messing up thy hair?¡±


    She says, ¡°That¡¯s, ¡®My Violin,¡¯ to thee and a mess is its nature.¡±


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    I ask, ¡°Art thou ever going to grow up?¡±


    My Violin winces and says, ¡°Never. Who wants to be a viol or viola?¡±


    The judge says, ¡°A cello wouldn¡¯t be that bad.¡±


    My Violin says, ¡°Everyone else may be scared of you, but I¡¯m not.¡±


    I say, ¡°Beg pardon, but thee is more polite.¡±


    My Violin gets up and scolds me, ¡°She¡¯s human and not even half a hundred years old.¡±


    My Violin runs over to her brother.


    I start to get up and the judge asks, ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    I say, ¡°For me, the jig is up. I try to leave as quickly as I can when the music stops. These strange lands are not safe places to linger.¡±


    She says, ¡°I don¡¯t think the party is over.¡±


    I look over at My Violin sitting with my boss and say, ¡°I don¡¯t think My Violin will be playing any more this evening.¡±


    The judge asks, ¡°Why don¡¯t you look at anyone except her? Pardon me for asking, but is she your girlfriend?¡±


    I say, ¡°Not wise to look long at the folk in these lands. Some take it rude. No, My Violin is My Violin. It is an intimate relationship and we share love but not the way you mean. I am, as I almost always am, between girls. Please don¡¯t take that as a plea or invitation. It is the way things are and I would rather break a relationship than endanger a girl.¡±


    The judge offers me a violin.


    I say, ¡°I appreciate the offer. I would have to ask My Violin first.¡±


    The judge asks, ¡°Am I not pretty enough?¡±


    I don¡¯t look at her as I say, ¡°Thou art in the ranks with the kings and queens of Fairy. I am sure that thou art quite charming.¡±


    I get up and bow to the musicians. I bow to the judge and my boss. My Violin waves. I make my exit to the top of the stair.


    My clock is still running but it is dark here in the woods. It seems time matched in my boss'' Fairyland with real so I expect that little has changed.


    At the trail, my horse is waiting for me. This is a welcome relief after climbing the slope in the dark.


    #


    I am sitting at a cafe nursing along a chai tea. Brent and Karen will be here soon and they are bringing someone for me to meet. Karen¡¯s taste in women is frightening, so I am hoping that Brent has intervened. I am pretty sure it is a girl. That is how these things usually work.


    They come in with a quite attractive Asian girl. She seems nice enough and looks like she might be intelligent and a bit fun. Pity really, these arrangements never work out. I am not sure if it is the pressure or what, but they really don¡¯t. I have more luck meeting fellow hikers.


    I wave to them. The girl is carrying a violin case. This may not be so bad after all.


    Karen says, ¡°Lee, this is my brother, Danny. Danny, this is Lee.¡±


    I stand and say, ¡°Good to meet you. Brent, Karen, I know what you both drink. What can I get you, Lee?¡±


    She says, ¡°I don¡¯t know yet. I need to see the menu.¡±


    Karen says, ¡°You should go with Danny. Brent and I will watch the table.¡±


    We go to the back of the line and she looks up at the menu.


    She asks, ¡°Awkward?¡±


    I say, ¡°These things always are. I am a bit awkward anyway. I get a bit nervous around--¡±


    I am about to say pretty girls, but stop myself. I suspect she hears it way too much. I almost ask her if she plays violin. She is carrying a violin case so that would be just as awkward.


    Lee asks, ¡°Can I ask you a favor?¡±


    I say, ¡°No harm in asking.¡±


    She asks, ¡°Just in front of Karen and Brent, can we act like we are getting along?¡±


    I ask, ¡°Am I that bad?¡±


    She says, ¡°I am not saying that. But who knows, it might work out and at least it will put Brent and Karen at ease.¡±


    I nod and she puts her arm in mine. Now I have to fight smiling like an idiot.


    I ask, ¡°Do you always carry a violin?¡±


    She puts her hand to the side of my face and now I am looking her in the eyes. Deep green eyes. Time stops for a moment. I struggle to clear my mind. She takes the moment and kisses me. Just a quick peck but now I am looking forward to the chance of more.


    She says, ¡°I usually have a violin or two handy but I don¡¯t usually carry one. After all the issues, I think I owe you something. Don¡¯t worry, I talked with Violin and she said that she plans to wander for a while so you should play this while she is gone.¡±


    I back up. She still has a hold on my arm. She is no longer Asian, but she has the same green eyes. It is the judge. Soft light brown hair surrounding bottomless green eyes. Her stare is dangerous and I feel lost in the woods. My heart flutters and not just from fear. I am not sure I can escape this. I am not sure I want to. She leans against me and her hair turns dark again.


    She looks up with her head against my shoulder and asks, ¡°Our secret?¡±


    I nod in agreement. There is no reason to upset Karen.