《War of Seasons》 Authors Note Hello all! I''m the type of person who likes to know how a book ends before picking it up. That said, I figured I''d go ahead and give people a few details that don''t spoil too much about the story but, for me, would be the type of things to influence whether or not I took time reading. 1. The story has a happy ending. Stolen story; please report. 2. The story is complete; no need to worrying about things dropping or going on hiatus. 3. There are 48 chapters (most ranging from 5 to 7 pages in Google Docs format, some shorter). I plan to post three per week until things wrap up. Lastly, thank you for taking the time to check this story out! I above all hope that you can find some enjoyment in reading! 1. Rosemarys Future The only light that came into the room slithered between long strings of clay beads that swung in the opening of a door. As these strands swayed, so did the shadows that stretched their way to the bed where the woman lay. Ophelia Atlin moved her head¡ªit felt so heavy¡ª as the beads clattered chaotically to announce the entry of two people: her daughter and the girl¡¯s caretaker. ¡°Dorothea.¡± She reached out to her child, trying not to let desperation cloud her face. How much would the little one even remember after losing her mother at the age of thirteen? Not enough. No amount of time was ever enough. A soft hand with warm, chubby fingers wrapped around Ophelia¡¯s trembling one. Then a head was gingerly placed upon her chest. She¡¯d used to pull on and play with her mother¡¯s hair, tug on her arms too hard when asking her to play, but such habits had been forced from her with the coming of her mother¡¯s weakness. ¡°How is my darling today? What did you do?¡± ¡°The tradespeople came. There are too many tomatoes.¡± Her nose scrunched up in disgust. She laughed, adjusting her daughter¡¯s weight atop her as her chest tightened. ¡°Remember to always eat your vegetables, okay? So you can grow up strong.¡± Since when had every word sounded like a farewell? This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Okay.¡± Over the past few weeks her responses had become so short and resigned. Ophelia wanted to scream and sob. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Dorothea.¡± Tears pricked at her eyes. ¡°I did what I had to do. Please tell me you understand that.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± Was she telling the truth? Ophelia tried to say more, but an edge of pain like a brisk rainstorm wind cut across her chest, and she sucked in a raspy breath instead. ¡°Should I leave?¡± ¡°No! No, it¡¯s fine, darling.¡± Ophelia reached up to pet her child¡¯s hair. Her fingers got caught in a tangle that knotted the gray strands together. ¡°I thought I told you to comb your hair every morning. You have to take care of yourself.¡± ¡°I¡ª¡± Dorothea halted abruptly. ¡°What is it, sweetie?¡± Ophelia almost closed her eyes in reverence when her daughter touched her lips. ¡°Mom?¡± The child held up fingertips tinged red. ¡°Not yet,¡± Ophelia begged in a whisper before a stream of blood and bile erupted from her mouth. Dorothea shrieked as it splattered them both. She flailed back to sit at Ophelia¡¯s feet, then watched, helpless and morbidly transfixed. Ophelia¡¯s body jerked about, a bird with two broken wings attempting flight, her head lolling to the side. The wreckage spread slowly, from the tips of her fingers and toes upwards and inwards. It was strange, the way a body could bend upon itself, the sounds it made when bone swerved at unimaginable and incorrect angles. Crack, crack, crack, up the arms and legs, ribs caving in upon and impaling internal organs, and lastly the neck. In this way, a slow, merciless death came to its close. Dorothea, in this unforgettable last memory of her mother, saw her own future displayed. 2. Rosemarys Repetition Waking up every day was a miracle, nothing less. That¡¯s what Dorothea Atlin thought as she outstretched an arm towards the ceiling and spread her fingers, examining the spaces between them. Once fully awake, she sat up and folded her hands, bowing her head over them. ¡°I give my thanks to Extremis for being allowed to live another day. Oh gracious God Zeal¡­ Please help me continue to be strong.¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°Everything will be okay¡­¡± In less than an hour, the council of the snowbound nation of Sirpo would gather; Dorothea was the leader of this group. The elected officials were responsible for making major decisions for the neutral territory¡¯s population. After she had groomed and dressed, she promptly hurled herself back onto bed to just breathe. Her pulse was racing in anticipation, and she needed to stay calm. Several villagers, especially more recent refugees from the warring lands of Sacer and Ghuria, were talking more and more about getting involved in some way. She could not let that happen. ¡°Thea!¡± A call, businesslike but still jovial, snapped her from her thoughts. The door to her house opened and slammed shut, and a long shadow soon passed over the bed. Dorothea waved lamely. ¡°Sharkie.¡± She¡¯d known it was her friend based on the familiar brisk clomp of their boots. Besides that, no one else ever visited. Shark Olyen grinned at her, flashing sharp teeth that glinted as brightly as the spark of mischief flickering in their maroon eyes. ¡°Ready to go?¡± Dorothea groaned and threw her arms up with false dramatism. ¡°If I must.¡± She opened and closed her hands, fingers making light smacking noises against her palms. ¡°Pull me up please.¡± Shark laughed but complied, grasping her soft hands with calloused ones and pulling. ¡°You¡¯re so lazy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m tired,¡± Dorothea corrected. ¡°Tired of having the same conversation again and again.¡± Shark smoothed her hair where it had become mussed in the back, smirking. ¡°For such a total mess of a person, you clean up good.¡± ¡°For a trashy goblin, so do you.¡± She straightened their collar and brushed away long, silky strands of pink hair that got caught in the fur that lined it. ¡°We have to keep neutrality, Shark. I don¡¯t want to fight. The first Sirpoans came here so we wouldn¡¯t have to war with the rest of them. What will happen to our people if we have to fight or get attacked?¡± With shaking words, she started to voice the thought truest to her heart. ¡°I don¡¯t want to die like¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Shark interrupted firmly. ¡°It won¡¯t happen. Nothing will change.¡± Dorothea took a deep breath and nodded, smiling weakly to convey her appreciation. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± With her mind made up and expression forcibly cleared of agitation, she stepped into the razor-sharp cold. The constant frigidity that locked around Sirpo¡¯s capital city, Iluna, made for a people that moved efficiently when there was work to be done and very little otherwise. The skilled hunters that sustained the people huddled out in batches, bundled with thick furs and equipped to bring in large hauls from lakes and mountains teeming with prey. Their lanterns would go on to bob like beckoning spirits in the distance come nightfall. The days were simple, peaceful. Dorothea intended to maintain them, no matter what. ¡°I¡¯m focused,¡± she whispered as she and Shark entered the meeting hall that stood in the direct center of the city. As soon as representatives from across Sirpo¡¯s small cities had arrived and were seated in their regular circle, Shark lounging behind Dorothea as her odd and constant guest of honor, she cleared her throat to start the proceedings. First, a traditional greeting. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°Good tidings to all those of faith, and may it sustain them,¡± Dorothea said, touching three fingers to her heart, then her lips and lastly her forehead, symbolizing the unity of said heart, her words and actions, and her mind. ¡°With grace we carve the way forward,¡± the religious members of the council said in unison as they made the gesture. Dorothea put her hands in her lap. ¡°Good tidings to those who find faith within themselves.¡± ¡°Faith comes in many places.¡± The secular members made the same gesture, only backwards. This was meant to show that they, too, were in unity with their heart, mind and intentions even if they went about it differently than those that believed in the Pantheon of Old. Dorothea took a deep, silent breath. ¡°Nothing to do but get straight into it. We¡¯re here to, once again, debate our neutral position.¡± ¡°Showtime,¡± Shark said with a soft laugh. ¡°It¡¯s impossible for us to lend aid to either army,¡± one council member stated calmly. ¡°Breaking neutrality puts all of our lives in danger. Picking either side to help means making an enemy of the other and opening ourselves up to attack. It¡¯s far different from regular trade during peacetime.¡± Dissent came quickly. ¡°But we would gain the protection of whichever army we sided with.¡± ¡°Right,¡± someone else said. ¡°Their battles have been getting closer to our borders, and we have strong evidence to suggest that spies have been planted in our midst multiple times. Even if we can¡¯t pinpoint what either army is aiming for, we can at least be proactive.¡± ¡°Stop ignoring the most important issue, please.¡± A sigh followed this flat statement. ¡°The Sacerians and Ghurians haven¡¯t made any demands for Eternal Rosemary magic so long as our council leader here is tucked away here, but an alliance is a death sentence for any Atlin. Remember that when you¡¯re voting.¡± Appalled shock jolted through the room, but the facts were the facts. Dorothea¡¯s time-bending magic was what kept Sirpo safe, just like her mother¡¯s had before her. It was too powerful for either army not to utilize if they could grasp it. It seemed like everyone else was too awkward to object until one man lifted his hand slowly; this was Sil, the man who had taken care of Dorothea when she¡¯d been younger. He¡¯d been right beside her, watching with the same helplessness the day her mother had¡­ She shook the memories away. ¡°While I respect the legacy of the Atlins,¡± he began gently, ¡°that isn¡¯t the only issue here. Why are we only considering our own protection?¡± He glanced at Dorothea. ¡°People are dying on both sides¡­ Even if we pick one and provide minimal aid, that¡¯s some deaths prevented.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine as long as we survive,¡± another scoffed after hacking out a laugh that dripped with derision. ¡°They chose to get themselves locked into a war, and we¡¯re choosing not to get involved, simple as that. We can wait for a winner and assist with recovery efforts if you want to feel better about yourself.¡± ¡°How can you be so callous?!¡± Sil demanded. ¡°It¡¯s been five years of this fighting, we can¡¯t just keep sitting here and¡ª¡± ¡°If I may¡­¡± Dorothea spoke underneath the rising heat of the conversation, but silence fell instantly. ¡°We don¡¯t have the supplies to assist both, and it¡¯s clear they¡¯re well past the point of calling a truce. I¡¯m going to strongly maintain my neutral stance.¡± She glanced at the person who had spoken of her certain fate if she were to join either army. ¡°I¡¯ll also say that this isn¡¯t about me. It¡¯s about what we as a people want to do. Whether or not we pick a side, I don¡¯t intend to fight.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t intend to fight,¡± Sil echoed with sudden spite. ¡°Ophelia Atlin would have offered assistance without hesitation,¡± he snapped. ¡°Your mother would be ashamed of¡ª¡± ¡°Enough,¡± Dorothea snarled, and a chill ran through the room as Sil, realizing the weight of his words, paled and put a hand to his mouth. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what my mother would have done. She¡¯s dead, and you have some gall to put words in her mouth.¡± She would have laid into him more if Shark hadn¡¯t squeezed her arm. Deep breaths, deep breaths¡­ Just as she was deciding how to get things back on track, the doors to the meeting hall burst open. It took her a few long moments to register the new scene. The newfound intruder stood still, chest heaving. Wide eyes held a wild glint to them, bright and fearsome as the lengthy blade of a knife gripped in a white-knuckled hand. Blood dripped sluggishly from it, staining the plush carpet below. ¡°You.¡± The blade was pointed directly at her. ¡°You¡¯re coming with me. In the name of Ghuria.¡± 3. Azaleas Wish As Cerid Creed bled to death, his mind was filled with blackberries. He wanted to live so he could once again watch dark drupes convalesce into tantalizing morsels at summer¡¯s peak, then stain his lips and fingers feasting with greed. Yes, for the sake of blackberries, he would continue to hobble-run and ignore the way his own blood, erupting from a puncture to his stomach, slicked and itched his skin. The attack had come unexpectedly, as surprise attacks had a tendency to do. A standard sweep of the border had exploded into a cacophony of blood and screeching. The Ghurians had come from the trees, crossing territory lines for a brief, unprecedented and deadly assault. Cerid was only alive because he¡¯d had the sense to play dead after he¡¯d received this lethal injury. That and the fact that the three surviving Ghurians were too preoccupied routing the rest of the Sacerian squad to rush towards neutral territory. Whatever their objective in Sirpo, it would not end peacefully. There was no time to get reinforcements and no way Cerid could turn his back on the innocent and defenseless. Never mind that he was certain to die without immediate treatment. He was losing blood so quickly he couldn¡¯t walk in a straight line. His vision blurred and trembled, and each step forward felt heavier than that last. Was this death? He wanted blackberries. He wanted to see Calla and read her her favorite bedtime story one last time, he wanted to accomplish the goal he had sacrificed so much towards, he wanted¡­ More than anything, he just wanted to see Shark again. He wanted to apologize for what he had done. The world was clouded in gray; Sirpo¡¯s chilled embrace cut him down to the bone, and he almost passed out. But he could make out the footsteps the Ghurians had left behind, and he could hear the panicked shouts of Sirpoans as he staggered closer to the capital city. ¡°Faster,¡± he begged himself. ¡°Move¡­!¡± The chaos was focused on a single building. Two Ghurians stood outside, warding off anyone who tried to approach. Three had come after he and his allies had managed to thin the numbers, he blurrily reminded himself, so the last had to be inside. Confronting them directly in this condition was sentencing himself and quite possibly many of the Sirpoans to death. What to do¡­? If they weren¡¯t bothering to guard the back, that meant there was no back entrance. Simple enough to make one, and that seemed to be Cerid¡¯s only chance to get the drop of them. He took a long route around to sneak past the hubbub. Once he was at the back of the building, he leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath. From the way his heartbeat was thudding an alarm throughout his entire body, he knew he didn¡¯t have much time left. Within the next few minutes, he¡¯d have defeat the Ghurians, tell the Sirpoans what had happened and ask them to send a few messages to his superiors and loved ones. Never before had Cerid been so grateful to wield a magic, Steadfast Azalea, that did little else than enhance his strength. Once the rough brick of the wall scraped his knuckles, he took a deep breath, drawing back and pressing in a few times to steady his aim. The wall shattered against the force of three punches in quick succession. Cerid gritted his teeth, barely not tripping on the rubble as he seized a brick, and charged foward. He recognized the enemy and shut out everything else. Taking advantage of the shock he¡¯d created, he crossed the floor in a few stride and cracked the brick against the Ghurian¡¯s skull. His sheer physical power dented their head with a wet crunch, sending bone into brain and ending their life in a split second. He stumbled and almost fell to his knees as the body careened limply. Mere moments ago Cerid had been on high alert, but now there was a strangely comforting numbness spreading through him. It promised rest and ease, and his eyelids were lowering against his will. He looked down at himself and saw nothing but red. Not yet. Not yet. He could catch the other enemies off guard and end this if he could just move. From a distance he heard someone saying his name, but if his focus wavered even an instant, he knew he wouldn¡¯t be able to keep going. Still, his mind and heart were singing out one last thought, one last wish in yearning unison. I wish I¡¯d been able to tell you the truth. Shark. Shark. He let out a grieving, desperate wail and forced himself to his feet, running out the front doors in one desperate, stumbling motion. He was able to kill one with the element of surprise, breaking their neck from behind. The other came at him, but he broke their knee with a clumsy kick that sent him crashing against the side of the building. As his opponent wailed and tried to scramble up, he stumbled over and ended the battle with a savage stomp to their head. So it went. He found such brutality distasteful, but it was what he was suited for. Now he could catch his breath and say the words he needed to to the Sirpoans. But he couldn¡¯t. Now that he¡¯d accomplished what he¡¯d set out to do, he couldn¡¯t breathe. He clutched at his weeping wound and staggered back, keeling over. Someone caught him, holding him tight and close. It was familiar somehow, but maybe that was just wishful thinking, to die in the arms of a loved one. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°Cerid? Is that really¡­?¡± A voice filled with wonder took on heartwrenching sadness and panic. ¡°Cerid! Hold on, hold on, I¡¯m gonna, someone help, I¡­ Thea, get over here! Please, please, Cerid, don¡¯t¡­!¡± That voice. He knew it. Shark¡­? He tried to say it, but his lips barely even twitched. Was this real? Oh, did it even matter anymore? He was happy despite everything. The Sirpoans were safe, and he got to see the one he loved one last time. He couldn¡¯t ask for more. *~*~*~* Because he didn¡¯t feel even an ounce of pain when he woke up, Cerid was sure he¡¯d ascended to Lasaitasuna, land of the five Gods of the Pantheon of Old. But if that were the case, no one would be crying, and there were tears dripping down from above to warm Cerid¡¯s cheeks. ¡°Shark, he¡¯s fine, see? He¡¯s waking up,¡± a woman¡¯s voice said gently. ¡°Gaaah!¡± Shark replied. Wait¡­ It was really them? Cerid was alive? It was really Shark?! Cerid let out an unearthly screech and wrenched away in pure shock. He was alive and Shark was here, he was alive and Shark. Was. Here! ¡°See? Completely fine.¡± The woman¡¯s voice was amused yet guarded, stiff. ¡°But how?¡± Cerid wondered aloud. He¡¯d been dragged into the building he¡¯d partially destroyed. He was still covered in blood, but his would had closed. Shark sniffed. ¡°Thank her. You¡¯d better be real grateful, understand?¡± They scowled when Cerid caught their gaze, rubbing at their eyes angrily and looking away. Her? Cerid really looked at the woman for the first time. She was a round, pale girl whose lavender eyes peeked out like glittering bugs beneath a curtain of gray bangs. Her hair fell down to her waist in graceful waves, and Cerid was struck by her appearance being both youthful and somehow old through an air of lengthy experience and exhaustion born from it. ¡°Thank you for what you did,¡± she said before turning to the rest of the people in the room. ¡°All of you, go back to your lodgings. I¡¯ll call to reconvene once we¡¯ve gotten a grasp on the situation.¡± Soon, it was only Cerid, Shark and her left. ¡°Cerid Creed. You¡¯re a Sacerian soldier, correct?¡± ¡°Yes ma¡¯am.¡± She was clearly the one in charge here, so he showed some respect. ¡°Pardon, but how do you know my name?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve¡­¡± Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. ¡°Heard about you. A few times.¡± Cerid shot a quick look at Shark, who still refused to look at him. ¡°I see.¡± ¡°Will you tell us what happened from your side?¡± ¡°Yes ma¡¯am.¡± He explained the attack on his squad and the pursuit. ¡°My comrades fell, but I could not allow the Ghurians to¡­¡± He faltered as the gears in his brain started turning. ¡°You healed me.¡± His heart skipped a beat. ¡°How?¡± Of course all Sacerians knew that the last of the Atlin line led the Sirpoan council, but to meet the wielder of such a legendary magic in the flesh was so surreal he couldn¡¯t bring himself to believe it. She countered his question with a question. ¡°Can we expect further attacks?¡± ¡°I do not believe so.¡± This had to be a one-off incident. It was too unprecendented. ¡°Good. Then you should leave.¡± She stood and smoothed her dress. ¡°Thank you for your assistance. Bye.¡± ¡°Wait!¡± Cerid grabbed her wrist out of desperation, then jumped back when Shark turned a fierce glare on him. ¡°I apologize. But you are an Atlin, correct? Please. Please, I am begging you, if you helped me back from the brink of death, please revive my comrades.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re asking,¡± Shark stated bitterly. ¡°And on the off chance you do¡­¡± Cerid gulped. The look in their eyes made the threat clear. But what were they trying to imply? ¡°It¡¯s okay, Sharkie.¡± The Atlin girl frowned at Cerid. ¡°I don¡¯t see why I should help you. You helped us, I saved your life. We¡¯re even.¡± She shrugged as if to wash her hands of the issue. Cerid¡¯s body went cold anew. Really? Was that how it was going to end? ¡°But¡ª¡± She spoke over him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about your comrades, but loss is a normal part of life. You¡¯ll recover in time.¡± Impotent rage flared up. ¡°How can you say that?! You, who know nothing of war, do not have the right to feel sorry for me! If you are truly so sorry for a single one of us, then you would act!¡± ¡°Oh, I know nothing of war, do I?¡± she snapped back, eyes blazing while her voice turned to ice. ¡°Your war, the one your people and the Ghurians started, took everything from me. I owe you nothing.¡± ¡°I just¡­!¡± Cerid trailed off as she stormed past him to meet and comfort a mill of confused and scared citizens. ¡°How can she be so¡­so cruel!¡± he burst to no one in particular. Still, he received a response from Shark. ¡°It¡¯s not that simple, you idiot. If it was, things would be different.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± Cerid tried to look calm, but his heart threatened to tear out of his chest at Shark¡¯s every syllable. They sighed. ¡°Come on then. We¡¯ll at least get you out of those clothes.¡± He blushed despite himself. ¡°Uh, but¡ª¡± ¡°Shut up and follow me.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Cerid mumbled, watching Shark¡¯s back as they strode ahead. Somehow, he felt as if he had been pulled into something irrevocable. But that could have been so much change and so many memories making his head spin. 4. Rhizanthellas Regret For Shark, Cerid dropping in like this had to be a sign that it was finally time to face what had been weighing on them since the day they had left their homeland behind. After Cerid was settled in Shark¡¯s small but cozy apartment, they turned right back around and went to Dorothea¡¯s place. They found her exactly as expected: rocking on the porch swing with a large, fluffy blanket swallowing her up and making her look like a sad ball with a head. ¡°Alrighty, Thea. Tell me what¡¯s on your mind,¡± they said as they plopped beside her. Dorothea scooted to make more room. ¡°He was completely right.¡± ¡°About what?¡± ¡°Me being a terrible person.¡± ¡°He said you were cruel, not terrible.¡± ¡°Helpful, Sharkie,¡± she said flatly. ¡°There¡¯s no difference. Not in my case.¡± ¡°And why do you agree with him?¡± That was the distinction that mattered. She was silent for a while, and Shark listened as the old swing hinges squealed each time they arced forward. It hadn¡¯t used to do that. Small things reminded them how much time flew. ¡°Cerid was willing to push himself to death for people he didn¡¯t know and had no reason whatsoever to care about. No matter what you¡¯ve told me about him, that still stands.¡± True. Despite how he¡¯d slighted Shark, Cerid wasn¡¯t someone they could hate. ¡°And what¡¯s that got to do with you?¡± they asked gently, letting Dorothea sort out her own conscience as she spoke. ¡°That¡¯s just the thing! Since the day¡­ Ever since Mom died, I¡¯d always thought it all had nothing to do with me, that none of them had a right to my help if they were just going to keep tearing each other apart.¡± She paused and looked up at the slow trickle of snow that fluttered to the ground, erasing footprints to create a feeling of clean emptiness. ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°I guess I¡­ There¡¯s no point to me living like I am now. If I¡¯m going to die young anyway¡ªand let¡¯s be realistic about that¡ªthen should I do something useful for others by killing myself through using my magic to my limits? Or should I just while the rest of my life away here talking about the same problem over and over? It¡¯s just¡­ Why am I even here, Shark?¡± She looked up at them with plaintive helplessness. ¡°I can¡¯t tell you what to do, and I sure as shit have no idea what the meaning of life is." ¡°I know, I know,¡± she sighed, turning forward again. ¡°It¡¯s something every person has to answer for themselves." ¡°But, if it helps you make a choice¡­¡± No matter what, this was something they had to do. ¡°I want to go back to Sacer.¡± ¡°What?¡± Dorothea¡¯s eyes widened with panic. ¡°Why?¡± Shark smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. This is my home now. But Thea, I want to see my parents again. I want to close that door so I can really move on. It¡¯s been five years and I still think about them every day. I have to do this, and I think you have some choices of your own to make. Either way I¡¯m gonna say we need to go back with Cerid.¡± ¡°Gods¡­¡± Dorothea muttered, looking shocked and exhausted. ¡°Nothing today has gone as expected.¡± ¡°At least you can say your life is interesting for once.¡± She laughed. ¡°True.¡± Her gaze lowered as it always did when she was seriously contemplating. ¡°To be honest, I¡¯m scared of what might happen. But I¡¯ll learn something, right? Besides,¡± she continued, tone becoming brusque as she turned towards action, ¡°I¡¯d never leave you to face your family on your own. Of course I¡¯m coming with you.¡± Shark grinned and let out a joyful laugh. ¡°Aw, Thea. I love ya.¡± Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. ¡°Yeah, yeah. Love you too.¡± She smiled gently and stood, bunching the blanket in her arms. ¡°We need to pack. I hope this fits in my bag.¡± ¡°Trust me, where we¡¯re going you won¡¯t need it.¡± Shark¡¯s memory was coming alive with dreams of sticky summers and lazy breezes. A woman standing at the stove humming as she made a ruthlessly spicy chili, a man crafting lame rhymes to give words to her melody as his large hands kneaded a bread cooked with beer, each slice later slathered with butter and honey. Laughter between the three of them, something pure held in these mundane moments. Painful dreams, those, but precious all the same. ¡°You took Cerid to your place, right?¡± Dorothea asked. ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like you would just leave him out in the snow.¡± ¡°I thought about it.¡± Cerid¡­ He¡¯d literally broken his way back into their life, and the sight of him covered in blood, the light fading from his eyes, and the mere thought of losing him¡­ So many things had come rushing back. Dorothea took a breath. ¡°In any case¡­ Tell him I¡¯ll revive his comrades. But I won¡¯t promise anything else.¡± She heaved an exaggerated sigh. ¡°Can¡¯t believe this. Anyways, I¡¯ll pack and then let the council know. They¡¯ll stand by until we¡¯re done in Sacer.¡± ¡°What¡¯s going to happen after today, Thea?¡± An attack on the neutral nation was a direct infraction against the Treaty of Blending that had been formed between the three nations at the conclusion of the War of Blending two decades prior. That couldn¡¯t go unrecognized. She looked grim. ¡°I don¡¯t know. But we¡¯ll figure it out. For now just go home, pack and deal with Cerid. I¡¯ll come pick you up when I¡¯m ready to go.¡± ¡°Will do. Thanks, Thea.¡± Shark was for some reason surprised to find Cerid still at their place. He¡¯d popped up so suddenly it felt like he could disappear with the same ease. But the boy was pacing the floor in a tight circle, arms folded behind his back and face scrunched up with impatience and worry. ¡°Well?!¡± he demanded the moment Shark stepped inside. They deliberately took sweet time in locking up and unlacing their boots. ¡°She¡¯ll bring your friends back.¡± Cerid put his face in his hands. ¡°Oh thank the Gods¡­!¡± ¡°Yup.¡± Shark drifted through the entranceway and towards their room to pack. A spare outfit was stuffed into a bag, and on top of it were daily grooming products and the small box they stored their jewelry in at night. It felt more like packing for a sleepover than what Shark imagined would be an epic and emotional confrontation with the ones who had disavowed them. Cerid, who had kept his respectful, nervous distance while Shark worked, piped up with uncertainty. ¡°You were not hurt, correct?¡± ¡°Naw, you busting in kinda interrupted anything that might¡¯ve gone down.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He jumped as Shark threw some spare clothes across the room. ¡°Get changed in the bathroom.¡± Looking at the not even fully dried blood on his shredded clothes just made Shark want to hold him and rejoice in the fact that he was alive. They hated it. ¡°Thank you.¡± Cerid gave them a wide berth as he skirted past, and that gave Shark a chance to discreetly eye him. Most Creeds had the same traits, with light-green hair and eyes like the dashes of buttercups that formed sunbeams on Sacer¡¯s streetsides. Since they¡¯d last met, Cerid had started to wear his hair a bit longer, and his eyes were wearier than ever before. He was here. Shark bowed their head and put their hands over their mouth to trap their next words. ¡°I¡¯m so glad you¡¯re okay.¡± How many times had he crossed their mind over the years, Shark wondering if he¡¯d met his end? ¡°Pardon?¡± Cerid poked his head out from the doorway and tilted it in a way Shark had always thought was cute. Damn them for still thinking it was cute. Shark dropped their hands and turned to glare. ¡°A word of warning, Cerid.¡± ¡°Yes¡­?¡± His eyes widened as Shark stepped closer to loom over him. ¡°Know this.¡± They smiled coldly and leaned in to captivate Cerid¡¯s wary gaze. ¡°If you or your people try to use Thea, I¡¯ll turn every ounce of my power against you. Got it?¡± Cerid shivered. ¡°I understand,¡± he whispered. Shark smiled like they had just told a funny joke. ¡°Good! Now sit tight, my esteemed guest. Thea¡¯ll be comin¡¯ for us when she¡¯s ready.¡± Cerid looked at his feet, then into Shark¡¯s eyes. ¡°Sh¡­ Shark, I¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± they snapped. They spun around and slammed their bedroom door shut behind them. The internal contradiction was awful. They wanted all of and none of his words. Even if they and Cerid tried to talk things out, what was there to say? Cerid had chosen his reputation over their relationship five years ago. And now they¡¯d be in Sacer by the end of the day, right back where they¡¯d started. 5. Marigold and Clematis Normally a trip to Sacer¡¯s capital would have taken about four days going on horseback at a fast pace. Shark¡¯s magic, Erupting Rhizanthella, gave them the ability to manipulate the earth, so it took mere hours. None of that time did anything to ease Dorothea¡¯s nerves. When they dismounted near the capital city, Udara, she took deep breaths to steady herself. Cerid looked ready to throw up after the shaky trip, and Shark¡¯s face was twisted as a struggle on whether to laugh or comfort him played out. She smoothed her hair and clothes, turning to Shark. ¡°Do I look okay?¡± They snickered. ¡°Here, lemme help you.¡± As always, they fixed the parts of her hair she had a tendency to miss. When they turned to him, Cerid spoke in a formal tone. ¡°Welcome to Udara,¡± he said. ¡°Sacer¡¯s capital, home to several of its elite noble houses and one of two fort cities in the territory.¡± ¡°Home sweet home,¡± Shark drawled with disdain. Dorothea squeezed their hand as the trio went closer to the entrance. She stopped and gave Cerid a questioning glance when he held up a finger, signaling them to wait. That was when she heard voices, two distinct ones saying¡­well, strange words. ¡°And whaddya think about that, huh?!¡± A woman¡¯s voice presumably, triumphant and full of energy. ¡°About what, exactly? You lost me several minutes ago.¡± A male voice, tired. ¡°What? Why didn¡¯t you tell me you weren¡¯t listening?¡± ¡°As if that would have stopped you.¡± ¡°Come on, don¡¯t be like that. I genuinely want your opinion.¡± ¡°You drag me out here for what you said was a necessary private conversation, monologue about what kind of underwear you might want to buy, and now you want my opinion? It¡¯s hardly my business.¡± ¡°It could be your business again. And don¡¯t say underwear, it¡¯s uncute. It¡¯s lingerie, liiingerie.¡± The only response was a long sigh. ¡°Excuse me!¡± Cerid burst from the trees. The woman yelped, and a sphere of flame bloomed in her palm before she hurled it at his head. The person she had apparently been quizzing on the topic of undergarments lifted his hand, and the flame was enveloped by water. A sphere of it appeared from the air and ate the fire before it dropped to the earth and soaked in with a little plip. ¡°G-Good day, Commander Nobelis, Captain Tamlin¡­¡± Cerid wheezed as he pressed a hand to his heart. Dorothea and Shark glanced at one another and silently agreed to see how this played out. ¡°Creed! Shit, we thought you were dead!¡± The woman approached and slapped his back hard. ¡°But then, where¡¯ve you been?¡± ¡°You see, well, that is¡­¡± Cerid fumbled. ¡°Can your friends explain?¡± the man asked mildly. ¡°The ones hiding over there.¡± Shark and Dorothea jumped, looked at each other, and sheepishly crept from their spot. ¡°You caught us!¡± Shark gasped with mock surprise. ¡°I was in Sirpo,¡± Cerid explained. ¡°My squadron and I suffered a Ghurian attack on the border. Afterwards, I pursued the enemy to Sirpoan territory. The two with me are here as representatives.¡± The woman¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°The rats attacked Sirpo?¡± Her brow furrowed. ¡°In that case, you did well to follow them. Creed, I¡¯ll have you make a report later. For now¡­¡± She stepped closer to Dorothea and reached out her hand. ¡°Commander Iree Nobelis. Trust me when I say you¡¯re in good hands.¡± She pointed to the man she was with. ¡°That¡¯s Rhys Tamlin, my captain.¡± ¡°Hello.¡± He nodded, placid gaze still focused on Iree. Dorothea made sure to give the commander a firm handshake. ¡°Dorothea Atlin, leader of the Sirpoan council. Well met.¡± Both the commander and captain looked shocked, but the former quickly laughed. ¡°Wow. A living legend, right in front of me.¡± ¡°We have a lot to talk about,¡± Dorothea stated, tone guarded. She explained what had happened from her side, including how the attacker seemed to have come for her specifically. ¡°Then Cerid came in, and we decided to come here.¡± The commander clicked her tongue. ¡°Never thought the rats would go that far.¡± ¡°Miss Atlin saved my life, ma¡¯am,¡± Cerid added. ¡°I owe her a great debt.¡± The commander smiled. ¡°Then thank you very much, really.¡± She clapped her hands and pointed behind herself with her thumbs. ¡°Let¡¯s go. As Sirpo¡¯s council leader, the only logical choice is for you to meet with our leader. No time to waste.¡± Sacer¡¯s leader, Cinder Creed. Dorothea only knew what Shark had told her on drunken rants clouded by resentment. Still, if he was anything like his son, he couldn¡¯t be all bad. Maybe just mostly. She started observing the second they got into his office after rushing through the city. Iree had spoken first to explain the situation to the council leader, so she had time to think. His books, covering two of the walls in shelves that stretched all the way to the ceiling, were organized in terms of height, width and subject. His wastebasket, despite the legions of documents spread in straight rows across his desk, was empty. None of those documents had a single splotch or crossed out mark on them, fluid penmanship striking definitively. He was an organized man not prone to making mistakes, and he wouldn¡¯t hesitate either once he¡¯d thought things out. After flitting her gaze across the office to gather these impressions, she looked forward to find Cinder¡¯s eyes on her. His expression was gentle, highlighted by a kind smile. ¡°Miss Atlin.¡± He stood to offer his hand to her. Once her palm met his, he placed his other hand atop hers to blanket it. ¡°Thank you for coming. I cannot imagine the stress you are under, so your quick response is impressive and admirable.¡± Not so much. She was doing the bare minimum for Sirpo¡¯s citizens, though she knew he only said that to get on her good side. ¡°Thank you for having me.¡± She watched as he sat, sitting straight. Not a wrinkle in his smooth shirt and tie, not a hair out of place among the shining green strands combed back from his angular face. He gave the air that whatever concerns he was trusted with, he would resolve them flawlessly. Once he gestured in invitation, she sat in the chair across from him while Iree and Rhys stood to the side. Shark had understandably chosen not to face the man, and Cerid had opted to wait outside with them. ¡°Is it acceptable for us to be open with one another?¡± Cinder asked. ¡°Matters of diplomacy often involve people shrouding their true intentions. Let¡¯s talk plainly.¡± ¡°That would be wonderful, thank you.¡± Since he gave the opening, she jumped in to state her terms before he could. ¡°I understand that the party asking for favors is not the one in the position of power, but under no circumstances will I allow the use of my magic to be part of any contract between Sirpo and Sacer. I offer full reinstatement of our trade agreements as well as my previous promise to Cerid Creed to revive the soldiers that were part of his squadron. This would be in return for limited Sacerian protection of Sirpo¡¯s cities until the war¡¯s conclusion.¡± ¡°Very well,¡± Cinder agreed. ¡°That will be sufficient. We will lend five soldiers to every Sirpoan settlement. There are five cities across the territory with the capital included, correct?¡± Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. ¡°Uh, correct.¡± Dorothea failed to hide her shock. Was that it? She¡¯d expected arguments and manipulation, the Sacerians working to claim her magic at all costs. Cinder laughed, a short but warm chuckle. ¡°Don¡¯t misunderstand our intentions, Miss Atlin. An enemy of Ghuria is a friend of ours. Standing in their way by allying with Sirpo is only natural. Even without your guarantee of reopened trade, this would have been the conclusion we reached. Though it is a worthwhile benefit.¡± He laughed again, and she felt herself relaxing. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°Of course. Now, our next steps. I¡¯ll need to hold a meeting with the rest of our council, and then our groups should be ready to move out in the morning.¡± Not that she was in much of a position to argue, but¡­ ¡°Pardon me for not understanding,¡± Dorothea began, ¡°but why is a council meeting necessary when the council¡¯s head is already in agreement with our course of action?¡± Iree interjected. ¡°I can see where you¡¯re coming from, but those are just the rules. Before making a deployment of any kind, we have to get the entire council¡¯s permission. Cinder can¡¯t just go over everyone¡¯s heads. Those kinds of formalities are necessary to keep our internal peace by making sure everyone gets a voice in these decisions.¡± ¡°I see. Then Shark and I will stand by and comply with your orders. We¡¯ll of course do anything we can to help within reason.¡± She paused. ¡°Speaking of¡­ Shark¡¯s safety is guaranteed?¡± ¡°Your friend may be considered a deserter, but they left Sacer during a protected time. They are in no danger here,¡± Cinder promised. ¡°Please let us know if there¡¯s anything we can do to assist you both. In the meantime, I¡¯d like to offer you both a place to stay the night in my home.¡± ¡°Much obliged. We¡¯ll take you up on it.¡± Dorothea held back a sigh of relief. Everything was going to be okay. ¡°Why don¡¯t you let Captain Tamlin here give you a tour?¡± Cinder suggested. ¡°I know this isn¡¯t exactly a vacation, but it may be beneficial to occupy your mind.¡± It seemed best to go along with it. ¡°That would be nice, thank you.¡± She stood, once again taking Cinder¡¯s hand as he offered a parting handshake. ¡°Don¡¯t fret, Miss Atlin. You and your people have Sacer behind you now.¡± ¡°Thank you. I can¡¯t say it enough, sir.¡± She bowed, right arm beneath her chest and left arm across her back, before exiting with Iree and the captain. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t do that if I were you,¡± Iree said casually. ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Bowing like that. That¡¯s a formal Ghurian gesture, right? In Sacer, you show your feelings of camaraderie like this.¡± She faced Dorothea and held up her arm, hand in a fist. Taking Dorothea¡¯s wrist on the opposite arm, she lifted it so their wrists bumped together. ¡°There you go. A Sacerian sign of solidarity.¡± With its mixed population, she¡¯d seen both gestures in Sirpo; she hadn¡¯t thought of how it looked to use the mannerisms of Sacer¡¯s enemy here. ¡°I apologize, and thank you for reminding me.¡± She looked around once they had scaled a grand marble staircase back to the ground floor. ¡°Where¡¯s Shark?¡± ¡°No idea. But if Creed¡¯s there, they¡¯ll both be fine.¡± ¡°Right¡­¡± Maybe they¡¯d gone off somewhere to talk? Despite everything, there still seemed to be a lot of care between them. ¡°Well, I¡¯ve got some planning to do.¡± Iree gave her an easy smile. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. All of this will seem like a bad dream pretty soon. In the meantime though, Rhys, treat her well, yeah?¡± The captain nodded. Dorothea kept forgetting he was even there, he was so quiet. Iree raced back up the stairs and ducked into one of the many, many rooms within the Creed home, leaving her alone with him. ¡°Well then¡­¡± She glanced at Rhys, feeling lost and alone without Shark there. She wasn¡¯t sure how much longer she could maintain this false veneer of confidence and calm. Everything had changed too harshly, too quickly. ¡°I won¡¯t keep you long.¡± His voice was soft yet steady. ¡°Since I¡¯m technically under orders, I¡¯d like to take you to one place before leaving you alone to catch your breath. Is that fine?¡± ¡°Yes, thank you.¡± She¡¯d just have to meet back up with Shark later. ¡°I know you¡¯ve had a long day,¡± the captain said, ¡°and you must be feeling pretty jerked around. Thanks for bearing with everything.¡± ¡°Considering where I am, I can¡¯t exactly say I¡¯m having it much worse than anyone else.¡± At least Sirpo didn¡¯t have the constant threat of war hanging overhead, or it hadn¡¯t until now. She¡¯d never thought of that before meeting Cerid. Rhys looked thoughtful. ¡°Well said.¡± He led them back to the fort wall, where they arrived at the base of one of the watchtowers. A wide entrance was cut into the stone, interrupting the dark ivy that blanketed the surface. ¡°Come on. There¡¯s a great view from up here.¡± They were going to the top? ¡°Um¡­¡± She¡¯d dealt with the heights today because she¡¯d had to to make travel faster, but Shark had been there to comfort her. Now was¡­ He turned from his place already on the first step. ¡°Is there a problem?¡± No weakness. She was Sirpo¡¯s representative. ¡°Not at all.¡± She hurried after him. ¡°Watch your step.¡± Although the staircase was cast in dim light, Dorothea still noticed the occasional spider scuttling in fear for its life at their feet, webs drifting ghostlike over their heads. At the peak they emerged into a narrow room where the breeze from two windows circulated to chill the space. The captain waved away the soldier on duty there, and they were left alone. He gestured for her to plant herself in front of the window that faced the city. ¡°Come on and look.¡± Dorothea hesitantly obeyed, appreciative as he shifted so their shoulders wouldn¡¯t touch. What first caught her eye was a glittering golden roof that seemed to shimmer and undulate in the distance as the heat shook the horizon. It was in the direct center of the settlement; this would be the Creed mansion, where she¡¯d just been. The blue splotch of a nearby lake was surrounded by a thick dash of red flowers. Most of the other buildings were colored with soft pastels, and people milled about like little hopping birds down below. From here it looked like a lovely, gentle and pleasant place. She laughed at herself. ¡°Before coming here, this isn¡¯t what I expected at all. For a warring nation, everything seems so peaceful. Ignorant of me.¡± The captain smiled. ¡°The circumstances may not be the best, but officially, welcome to Udara and to Sacer.¡± ¡°Captain Tamlin, thank you. You¡¯ve all been so kind.¡± It shocked her how quickly they¡¯d been to welcome her in and offer their help. She¡¯d been so cynical it was a little embarrassing now. He smiled slightly. ¡°Just Rhys is fine.¡± ¡°Rhys. May I ask you a few questions?¡± Being in an unfamiliar place made her curious. ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°The Creed residence is more, well, fancy than any other home that surrounds it. Is that because they¡¯re nobles? Because in Sacer, nobility is very important and comes with certain privileges. Right?¡± ¡°Right. The most valuable magics are in the lines of the most noble families. Attending the most battles, being on the front lines and such earns them some perks.¡± ¡°I see.¡± So in a warring nation, battle was how power was created and retained. ¡°Do all nobles live with their whole family like the Creeds seem to?¡± There were enough bedrooms in that house to keep a small village in, though there hadn¡¯t seemed to be many people around. ¡°Yes. It might seem strange from the outside, but it¡¯s normal here for families to group together. Guess it¡¯s part of knowing you could lose one another at any moment. It¡¯s good to see your loved ones as much as you can.¡± He looked away, seeming a bit embarrassed. ¡°No, it¡¯s not strange. It sounds wonderful.¡± Of course it had only ever been her and her mother, but that had been enough. As she tried to find a new topic, she made the mistake of looking down and not out. The reminder that she was in fact deathly afraid of heights hit like a blizzard. Letting out a whimper, she screwed her eyes shut. Different images splashed behind her eyelids now, ones bright and fuzzy on the edges with age. A child, a leafless tree on the outskirts of a snowy city, its rough bark tickling her palms as she shimmied up, grasping its branches like holding a friend''s hand. The view from the top, the black pinpricks of the treetops extending around her. Getting down wasn¡¯t a problem until one of the branches let go of her hand. Laying there on the ground, screams swallowed by the wind, each second had been an eternity. Hours before her mother found her, incoherent and sobbing, the way she could barely pull herself together enough to use her magic. The reversal of time on Dorothea¡¯s body made her feel like she could run forever, climb dozens of trees. But she never would again, of course. The sensation of her mother¡¯s tears soaking into her scalp as she crushed Dorothea¡¯s body to hers had been so reassuring. There was no anger towards her foolish, horrible child who had whittled more of her waning life away with this reckless act. Yes, Dorothea was horrible, and her mother wasn¡¯t there to help her now. In the present moment, she once again felt singular in her terror. A hand coming to rest between her shoulder blades anchored her with a jolt. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Rhys was looking at her with wary concern. Dorothea¡¯s hands were latched to the window ledge, creating small scrapes on her palms and scuffing her nails when she jerked in shock. ¡°Yes, I, I¡¯m sorry.¡± How pathetic she must seem, especially to a soldier. ¡°I just¡­¡± She had to keep her reasons close so no one would see her for the wretch she really was. ¡°I¡¯m not good with them. Heights. The short of it is that I once fell from a tree.¡± Telling a partial truth didn¡¯t make her feel any better. He winced sympathetically. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t know. Let¡¯s get back down.¡± He offered his arm, and she gingerly held his sleeve. ¡°Uh, yes. Again, I¡¯m sorry.¡± It was either get herself together or fall down the stairs, so she¡¯d just have to become very collected very quickly. Still, the remembrance came as a sobering shock. She¡¯d almost forgotten what she was: a worthless girl living selfishly and pretending she knew the difference between right and wrong. Eternal Rosemary would take her life one day, but it could also save many others if she was willing to trade herself for it. Yes, for the war others had started that had taken her mother from her. What was truly the right thing to do? 6. Azalea and Rhizanthella Cerid Creed was currently very confused. The love of his life was beside him not saying a single word and seeming to hate and not hate him at the same time. ¡°Erm, Shark? I believe I heard your¡­ Are you hungry?¡± ¡°No,¡± they clipped, though their stomach growled again. ¡°Well, if you change your mind, I would be happy to accompany you. Some things have changed since you left, so I could direct you to the best places.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need your concern.¡± ¡°My apologies,¡± Cerid mumbled. Shark frowned. ¡°Besides,¡± they said quietly, ¡°it¡¯s not safe for you to be seen with me in public, is it? People know what I am. A deserter, and¡­ Either way, not a good look for you.¡± That they showed concern for him at all made Cerid want to hug them. ¡°There should be no problem if I simply escort you.¡± They shook their head. ¡°I¡¯m staying put. You do what you want.¡± Deserters were not looked upon favorably in Sacer; it was important to hold on to the nation¡¯s strongest soldiers due to Ghurian threat. The entire nation had been on lockdown after the epidemic, clinging to its scattered, scarred people. That was with the exception of a single day that Cerid¡¯s father had allowed anyone who wished to depart without the risk of being hunted down and punished as a deserter to do so without fear. Anyone who remained would dedicate themselves to the fight; those who left would be ostracized forever. Shark had left then, but now they were back. They and Cerid were, somehow, together again. ¡°Then, if you permit it,¡± Cerid said, ¡°I would like to stay put with you.¡± Shark balled their hands up into fists. ¡°Don¡¯t you get it? Being around you makes me feel like I¡¯m tearing out of my own skin!¡± Cerid¡¯s breath caught painfully in his throat. What could he possibly say to make any of this better? He couldn¡¯t take back the deliberate choice he had made to hurt Shark for his own benefit. Sorry? Something as meager as that could never amount to anything. Still, that didn¡¯t mean an apology wasn¡¯t deserved. ¡°Shark,¡± he said quietly but firmly, ¡°I am sorry. I will never stop being sorry for everything.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t give me that!¡± Shark snapped, then looked around at the expansive mansion, all the places someone could be listening from. But Cerid knew no one would be there, not anymore. ¡°You know what, screw it. I came back here to confront all my shit, so we¡¯re gonna talk. What¡¯s it gonna be, Cerid? Last chance to pretend nothing ever happened.¡± ¡°I would like to talk.¡± If Shark wanted to, if it would help them in any way, he had no desire to refuse. ¡°Please follow me.¡± He led the way through the myriad of winding halls on the first floor where the bedrooms of the Creed children were located, belonging to him and his eleven full and half siblings as well as many other inlaws, elders and other branches of the family tree. Or they had, before the epidemic. Shark hovered against the wall while Cerid closed the blinds, leaving them in a yellowy daytime darkness he wished they could hide in endlessly. ¡°Can I lock the door?¡± they asked, awkward. ¡°By all means.¡± Cerid matched the softness of their voice. His heart skipped a beat at the lock¡¯s soft click. ¡°Now.¡± They stood on opposite sides of the room. ¡°Please do not hold anything back. Say anything you feel you need to.¡± Shark didn¡¯t need telling twice. ¡°You¡¯re sorry?¡± they snapped. ¡°We were together for three years and you break it off because you get named the next family head? I never would have stayed in Sacer as long as I did and put myself through so much bullshit if it weren¡¯t for me wanting to stay with you! So if it was going to come to that all along, why didn¡¯t you just let me go earlier?!¡± ¡°If I had known I would get into that position, I would never have courted you in the first place. I made a mistake.¡± ¡°Oh, so now I¡¯m a mistake! Thanks for that.¡± ¡°That is not what I meant.¡± Cerid¡¯s voice was shaking. The binds he had put over the past, the corner he¡¯d locked it in so he could move forward, it was all unraveling. Shark crossed the room to seize his arms. ¡°Just tell me why.¡± Cerid felt dizzy at their closeness. He¡¯d made Shark feel unloved and abandoned while knowing everything they¡¯d been through. He would never forgive himself for that. ¡°I have ambitions, Shark.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not good enough! Tell me what was so important! You were¡­¡± Their grip loosened, their hands clutching Cerid¡¯s sleeves now. ¡°I loved you.¡± ¡°I love you too!¡± Cerid cried out, then put his hands over his mouth. This wasn¡¯t what he wanted to happen. He wanted to help Shark let go of the past, not get them both trapped in it. ¡°You¡­?¡± Shark gaped. ¡°Present tense. That was present tense, what the shit, Cerid?¡± No turning back now. ¡°It was never about not loving you.¡± ¡°Are you kidding me? If that¡¯s the case, then why break up with me at all?¡± ¡°I had to end it when I did. The grace period would have passed you by. That was your chance to escape, Shark!¡± Shark¡¯s eyes widened as realization dawned. ¡°You did it to force me to run from the war. You knew fully well you were the only thing keeping me in Sacer.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Cerid. I need to hear you say this for sure. Are you still in love with me?¡± ¡°It is not that simple, Shark." ¡°It¡¯s more of a yes or no question.¡± ¡°It is not that simple!¡± Cerid insisted. ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a yes, and that really is all that matters. You¡¯ve severely underestimated me if you think I¡¯d let anything get in the way if you told me you wanted to be together.¡± They didn''t understand. There was no way Cerid could make them happy. ¡°But Shark¡ª¡± Their hands cupped Cerid¡¯s cheeks, bringing his face up to meet theirs. * There was power in reaching out to another person with sympathy and understanding. This was what had made Shark fall in love with Cerid. Sacer had strict rules for the members of its noble houses. Those who entered the ranks had a responsibility to protect their nation, and part of this was doing what was necessary to prepare for the future. If the future was to be one of war, then the army needed bodies. It needed nobles to breed. Shark realized two things early on. The first was that they were not a boy. The second was that they only liked boys. As a noble, that presented a few problems. At first they resigned to faking it and pretending. After all, they couldn¡¯t have been the first to do so and they wouldn¡¯t be the last. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. But then they saw a boy looking at them one day, looking at them the same way Shark looked at boys when they were sure no one was watching. So they took a risk and befriended that boy. They got close with that boy. They kissed that boy, were seen with that boy, got reported on and then never saw that boy again. Shark going against order threatened everything their family had worked to build. If they didn¡¯t comply with Sacer¡¯s laws, the Olyens would be off the council. It wasn¡¯t a matter of just the respect and monetary benefits the position gave them. It was about honoring the sacrifices and hard work of their ancestors that had brought them to this high place with their blood. That was how Shark¡¯s parents explained it to them when they created their new way of life. Curfews, not going out unaccompanied, no male friends. They were to court, wed and reproduce with a female partner chosen by their parents when the time came. Shark was to live only for the Olyen name. Early attempts at rebellion were quite literally slapped out of them, so they learned to stop trying. Damn, had they wanted to die. No one around them seemed to understand the sheer humiliation and degradation of being reduced to a shadow of one¡¯s desired self. A puppet, that¡¯s all they were. A puppet had no will of its own, not even the will to die. Something in them always held on, demanded that they crawl towards the next day. Someday, they had to believe, there would be a new path. Until then, all they could do was hold on. Then they met Cerid, four years after their new way of life had started when the both of them were seventeen. He struck Shark as weird at first. They met at a party held in the Creed mansion for the adult nobles to make plans. Courting would begin now that their children were almost of marrying age. They would spend roughly a year forming a relationship before marriage and children entered the conversation at age eighteen. The children¡ªand they were children, without the control over their own lives that adults seemed to be granted¡ªwere left to themselves in the library on the upper floors while the adults plotted over tea in the downstairs parlor. Shark didn¡¯t notice at first when someone sat beside them, but then they felt a light touch. After they jumped, they saw fingers pressing a folded note to their trouser leg. A cautious glance revealed a boy with a book facing upwards to conceal himself as he hunched behind it. A small notebook sat in front of him, and he was idly doodling as if not aware of Shark at all. Confused, they slowly took the note and unfolded it. Small, neat script read: Good day. My name is Cerid Creed. You are Shark Olyen, yes? The strange formality of it made them snort, and they nodded. Cerid¡¯s pen went flying, and Shark shook their head in disbelief. What was going on? Still, they couldn¡¯t help but smile as Cerid folded the next note into a perfect square and pressed it to their leg. Amusement changed to shock as they started to read. I heard tell of you today over breakfast. I am sorry that I did not know earlier, more sorry than I can express. I am not much on my own, but my family¡¯s name carries some weight. If I expressed a desire to befriend you, do you believe your parents would refuse? It wasn¡¯t romantic yet, but they loved Cerid starting from that moment. They loved the person he was, the person who would reach out to someone who had been lowered so much simply because he didn¡¯t like seeing them in pain. And Cerid was exactly right. When a son of Sacer¡¯s leading house wanted to be friends with Shark, their parents couldn¡¯t pass up the networking opportunity. After supervising their interactions for half a year, they seemed content to let them alone, though they would regularly be checked on by servants of the Creeds. Their talks became more intimate once they could speak honestly between themselves, and over the course of a year Shark started to notice everything about Cerid. The freckle in the shell of his right ear, the way he snorted when he laughed too hard, the way his emotions always showed so clearly, so many dear little things. The terror of falling in love with someone when Shark¡¯s desires were what had almost led others to destroy them was beyond describing. They would never have broached it if Cerid hadn¡¯t acted first. He did so in his typical awkward fashion. They sat in the orchard on the Creed property, having raided the blackberry bushes for Cerid¡¯s favorite treat. ¡°Cerid,¡± Shark laughed as he stuffed his cheeks full like a squirrel¡¯s, ¡°you look deranged.¡± He held up a finger as he laboriously chewed and swallowed. ¡°You talk as if you look any better.¡± ¡°Hey, try having teeth like mine and then lecture me.¡± Shark grinned, noticing how Cerid¡¯s gaze lingered on their mouth. They¡¯d been catching him staring a lot lately. ¡°Captivated by my beauty, are you? My, Cerid, I¡¯d thought you were immune to my charms.¡± They wondered if Cerid appreciated how significant it was that they¡¯d grown comfortable enough to tease him. Cerid was always one to blush easily, and it spread in an instant from his neck to his ears. ¡°Um! Well!¡± ¡°Buddy? You okay?¡± Normally he¡¯d laugh it off. He turned away, mumbling, so Shark touched his shoulder. ¡°You gonna be sick?¡± ¡°Mmnot¡­moon¡­¡± Cerid¡¯s mumbling was incoherent. ¡°Okay, you¡¯re starting to worry me.¡± ¡°I said I am not immune!¡± Cerid cried out, drawing his arms up to hug himself. Shark registered his meaning slowly. Once the dots connected, they jumped to their feet in a panic. It was so scary. Being back in this position, caught between what they needed to feel whole and the restrictions of their world. ¡°I am so sorry!¡± Cerid looked up at them plaintively. ¡°I did not intend for this to happen, I swear. I wanted to be your friend and do whatever I could to help you, but I¡­¡± He hung his head. ¡°I am sorry. I have overstepped.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not¡­¡± Feeling weak, Shark sat back down beside him, daring to edge a bit closer than they had been before. ¡°There are too many risks, and you have so much to lose.¡± He shook his head. ¡°That is not true. You know, I will never be named the next family head. My father knows of my¡­preferences. He discussed it with me recently. He said that if I chose this¡­lifestyle, in his words¡­then I would be forfeiting my place as a true noble, but I would still be his family. I will still have a place in this home even if it means my station will never be above what it is, and even if it means I must¡­hide this. My life has still been much kinder than yours, Shark.¡± Shark couldn¡¯t understand what he was trying to get at. ¡°So what have you decided?¡± ¡°I¡­ Back then, I could not believe no one else reached out to you. So I did, and I never meant to¡­ Please do not feel like our friendship is at risk. That is, I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but nothing will ever stop me from wanting you to be happy. Er, whether that is with me or someone else, or somewhere else, or by yourself even, is none of my business I suppose, but it would be nice if we could still be friends, and¡­¡± He trailed off as Shark laughed at his rambling. ¡°I guess I was so wrapped up in being grateful that I never noticed you¡¯re just as much of a mess as I am, Cerid.¡± They looked around; the two of them sat here specifically because it was hidden from the view of all windows in the house, it was so far back on the property. Someone had checked on them not too long ago, so they trusted they were good and alone for now. Still, Shark whispered. ¡°I like you.¡± The words felt so relieving and powerful to say that they almost started crying. Cerid took their hand and held tight. ¡°I do not take any of this lightly.¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°And I promise to never abandon you. No matter how anything between us might turn out, I will never stop doing whatever I can to protect you.¡± Shark believed him. The next three years weren¡¯t without hardship, of course, but they spent them together. Still, circumstances changed, they always did. The epidemic left Cerid an only child. The day after this tragedy, Cerid had delivered the news of his promotion to the head of his house and consequently the nation¡¯s next leader to Shark and topped it off by ending their relationship in the same sentence. Five years since then. For five years, Shark had been left to wonder, at first every day, then just every once in a while, why Cerid had done it. Now they understood that Cerid¡¯s promise hadn¡¯t changed. He¡¯d wanted to protect Shark, and he¡¯d been willing to hurt them both to do it. The turmoil of their emotions in the present¡ªanger, hurt, confusion, sadness, fear, joy¡ªoverflowed as they took Cerid into their arms and kissed him. They bit his lips and tongue gently, constricted his body as their entire being ached with bliss at being kissed back. They licked and kissed the freckle in the shell of his ear they loved so much, held him close and listened to his ragged breathing. ¡°So,¡± they said softly, ¡°do you still doubt me? I¡¯ll do anything to make it work if you say that¡¯s what you want, Cerid.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± Cerid faltered as they both jumped at the sound a familiar voice. Dorothea was calling Shark¡¯s name carefully and quietly as she stepped down the hallway, her having gathered where they and Cerid must have gone if they weren¡¯t in the entrance hall. ¡°Shit,¡± Shark muttered, rearranging their rumpled clothes and hair. ¡°Cerid, we can pick this up later.¡± ¡°We will not.¡± He shook his head as Shark started to protest. ¡°You have your place in Sirpo, with her. I have my place here, protecting my people. Unless you are intending to come back to Udara, to Sacer?¡± Shark¡¯s heart plummeted. ¡°I can¡¯t leave Thea. I won¡¯t.¡± ¡°And I will not leave my family or my homeland.¡± Cerid turned away. ¡°Please. Let us leave it at that.¡± His voice broke. ¡°Please.¡± What choice was there? What did the depth of their affections matter when life had taken them in completely different directions? 7. Rosemarys Inkling Luckily, Dorothea did not fall and break her neck on the way down from the watchtower. It was a welcome relief to be back on the ground, though it was embarrassing that Rhys kept casting her concerned looks. To distract him she asked, ¡°Are you excited for trade routes to reopen? All that nice fish coming down from the mountain. Real¡­fishy.¡± Wow. She¡¯d never noticed until now how only really talking to Shark had dulled her skill for casual conversation. Still, he smiled. ¡°I remember my mother, er, my stepmother that is, would say she¡¯d smell the shipment coming a full day before it arrived. She¡¯d actually be right from time to time, so that was crazy to younger me even though it was just a coincidence.¡± Dorothea chuckled with him. ¡°Um, where to now?¡± she asked, trying not to sound as awkward as she felt. Oddly enough, things seemed to have relaxed some after her freakout. It was as if he knew more what to do now that she¡¯d shown him a baser human side. And truthfully, she didn¡¯t want to be alone with her thoughts just then. Rhys put both hands in his pockets, wiping them on the sides of his pants first. For an army captain, he had a slightly begraddled appearance. His shirt was untucked, with three buttons down sitting apart. A lightweight russet-colored jacket had just a few too many wrinkles, and his thin black tie hung loose and somewhat crooked. Dark-brown hair, tied in a messy ponytail over his shoulder with a black ribbon, stuck up naturally in many places but was just barely on the right side of intentionally messy, like he¡¯d combed it with his fingers and went out without looking at it. ¡°Well,¡± Rhys said after some thought, ¡°if you actually want to see more, the market¡¯s open right now. It¡¯s always a¡­a time, is how I¡¯ll put it,¡± he laughed. ¡°I¡¯m cautiously excited.¡± The dirt of the streets paled the bottoms and toes of their boots as they followed a straight path from the entrance. Dorothea noticed how calmly people moved, how they always stopped to wave at each other or cluster together to chat on the side of the road after a happy coincidental meeting. It all seemed so calm and friendly, again opposite to her expectations. The noise around them swelled to a heavy din as they passed from the narrow street connected to the tower and entered a much wider stretch. Stall after stall of goods was set up on either side of the road for at least a mile. People laughed and talked of the steals they¡¯d gotten as they moved in an established flow, collisions rarely occurring between packed bodies. Any bumps were met with laughter and sincere apology. All wasn¡¯t entirely peaceful, however. Some haggled with the same refreshing politeness while others got red in the face, argued and swore. Merchants howled atop the noise to draw in customers. Sweet and savory food smells blended with odors of oil and incense and bitter smoke, making Dorothea¡¯s head spin. Rhys leaned down to talk in her ear, and she had to concentrate to parse out his words. ¡°This is the market street. If you can¡¯t ignore someone when they try to sell you something, I¡¯d advise staying away or coming with a friend who can, or else you¡¯ll be had. I got taken for my whole paycheck at a single stall once. Though that was years ago.¡± Dorothea tilted her head up to reply, and surprise ran through her. This close, she noticed a thin scar on his jawline, just slightly paler on dark-tawny skin. He probably had more; Shark had their fair share too, now that she thought about it. ¡°What was it you just had to have?¡± she asked, glad he¡¯d either not noticed or decided not to comment on her staring. He motioned to the collar of his jacket where a pin rested. A turquoise disc was encircled by small golden waves, giving it the appearance of a strange, radiating sun. A white feather looped around the left side of this sun of sorts to flow off the top into a short, graceful sweep. ¡°That cost you so much?¡± Though lovely, it didn¡¯t seem like it should have been so expensive. ¡°I got swindled,¡± Rhys laughed. ¡°I was told it would bring me protection on the battlefield and ward the specter of death away. Obviously that¡¯s impossible, but since I paid so much and won¡¯t ever be able to sell it for a worthwhile return I wear it anyways. Got two more for each of my closest friends, too.¡± He sighed. ¡°I wasn¡¯t the smartest back then. Or now, really.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°That was wonderful of you, though.¡± The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. He looked surprised. ¡°Was it?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± It was such a precious thing to do for his friends. Besides, knowing he¡¯d done something with such wishful thinking, something so human¡­ She felt like she could trust him a bit more now, oddly enough. Soldiers were killers, but¡­ Gods, she¡¯d never thought that they could be just as human as she was too. Once they had escaped the market unscathed and reentered the calmer roads bridging the circumference of the city, they were able to talk normally, reinstating the proper amount of space between them. ¡°Please don¡¯t take what I¡¯m about to say the wrong way,¡± Rhys said, laughter in his voice again. ¡°That depends entirely on your choice of words.¡± ¡°Fair. Well¡­ You¡¯re not exactly what I expected. I thought the leader of Sirpo would be more¡­ You¡¯re kinder than I thought.¡± Dorothea frowned, confused. ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡± He smiled tightly. ¡°Well, Sirpo is just so¡­uninvolved.¡± ¡°We won the right to be. ¡± The War of Blending had been waged to earn the right for neutrality and the mixing of Sacerians and Ghurians under the banner of Sirpo, but that seemed to be easily forgotten. ¡°My mother was the spearhead for the War of Blending, you know. She believed people had the right to another choice; she wanted to protect that and make a place for it. It was Sacer and Ghuria that had to go and call for bloodshed over the issue¡­¡± And now it was up to Dorothea to safeguard what Ophelia had built. Rhys studied the ground beneath their continuing footsteps. ¡°Well, I guess I had some misconceptions. Sorry.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t be. You¡¯re not the only one. Whenever I thought about what a soldier would be like, I¡­ You¡¯re different from what I imagined too.¡± He smiled. ¡°In a good way?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± He was just a normal person, one who had endured and survived a war ongoing for half a decade. Wait¡­ ¡°Excuse me, but how old are you?¡± ¡°Twenty-three.¡± So he¡¯d been her age when the war had started. ¡°May I ask¡­ Do children still start their training young in Sacer? Sharkie, Shark I mean, they¡¯ve told me a little about it.¡± He shook his head, smiling. ¡°You don¡¯t need to concern yourself with us or the war, Dorothea. After we work a few things out with helping you, you can go back home and live peacefully.¡± ¡°I understand that, but¡­¡± There was a restlessness brewing inside her she couldn¡¯t quite comprehend. ¡°But what about you? Isn¡¯t it the same? You look very young to be the leader of one of the three territories.¡± He paused, eyes widening some. ¡°Not that I¡¯m not sure you¡¯re capable. I¡¯m just saying we¡¯re in similar positions. Age doesn¡¯t have much to do with doing what we need to do.¡± His words didn¡¯t exactly ring true. They were worlds apart, weren¡¯t they? But in the end, it all came down to this: ¡°I can only do my best for the sake of what I¡¯m meant to protect,¡± Dorothea stated. Rhys nodded. ¡°That¡¯s the mentality a lot of soldiers take too. Even when the circumstances aren¡¯t the best, we do what we have to for our people. To put it simply.¡± Too simple, in fact. It was strange how the human cost of war had never truly sunk in. It was real now, breathing and warm. ¡°But how can I not be troubled?¡± she said quietly. ¡°When anything could happen to you all and I¡¯d just¡­¡± Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing as always. Rhys¡¯ smile was gentle. ¡°Yeah. You¡¯re kind, Dorothea. I¡¯m glad we¡¯ve gotten the chance to chat.¡± ¡°Thank you. Likewise.¡± Dorothea said this with a smile, but there was still one thing she couldn¡¯t allow herself to forget no matter what, especially not now. He could only say she was kind because he didn¡¯t know who she really was. Once they got back to the Creed home, she sent Rhys off to give her the privacy he¡¯d promised her as graciously as she could. All she wanted to do was talk with Shark and calm down, but there was a problem with that. If Shark had gone off with Cerid, there was no telling what they were getting up to. Cerid and what the two of them had had was still special to Shark, so she didn¡¯t want to get in their way. Still, with how tumultuous Shark¡¯s emotions had to be in coming back here, she wanted to be sure they were okay. She tiptoed down a hallway that seemed to lead to bedrooms. It was empty and soundless over here, so she had to guess this was where they¡¯d run off to. After calling Shark¡¯s name a few times, she heard a door open. Seconds later, they turned a corner and came bounding up to her with a grin. ¡°Hey! How¡¯d it go?¡± Choosing not to question the things she could easily tell that smile was covering up until they were ready, she stated, ¡°We¡¯re all set. But I¡¯ll give you the details later.¡± She took their hand, squeezing it with reassurance. ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s find some food.¡± They laughed. ¡°Sure. Hey, I¡¯ll make jambalaya when we get back. Sound good?¡± Shark¡¯s cooking was her favorite without a doubt. ¡°Oh, and I¡¯ll make you some new gloves. The old pair¡¯s gotten too many holes.¡± ¡°My bad.¡± Shark paused, then gave another fake grin. ¡°You know what they say about people who like spicy food?¡± ¡°Coming from you, I don¡¯t want to know.¡± These promises of regularity felt like nothing more than empty excuses. 8. Rosemarys Dawning When Iree had said they would head out at sunrise, she¡¯d meant it. When all was still awash in the darkness before dawn¡¯s blush, Dorothea and Shark were woken from their place snoring in an amalgamated lump in one of the Creed mansion¡¯s many empty rooms. Shark led the way to the fort entrance where Iree had told them to meet the night before. Familiar faces waited there as Cerid, Iree, and Rhys stood at the ready. There was a new face too, and it made Shark anxious. The one thing they had to their advantage was knowing who they were dealing with. Noticing both Shark and Dorothea staring, Iree put her hand on the shoulder of the stranger. ¡°This is Ariana Kingfisher. She¡¯s the strongest woman in Sacer, and I¡¯d bet money on that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing to boast about,¡± the girl clipped. She wore a blue-and-white sleeveless shirt with wide gold buttons, tall brown boots, and sand-colored pants. Long pink dreadlocks were tied into a ponytail with a yellow bow. Two hung to frame either side of her face, and these too were adorned with small yellow bows. This cool, faintly cute beauty was set off by a huge scowl. Ariana¡¯s green eyes met Shark¡¯s, and they recoiled. Within that steely gaze was pure hatred that didn¡¯t bother one bit to conceal itself. Not only that, but she looked at Dorothea in the exact same way. Okay, so she was one to keep away from. Rhys cut into the tense silence. ¡°Good morning, Dorothea. Shark, I don¡¯t know if you remember me, but we were in the same training class.¡± ¡°Been a while, yeah. Good to see you again.¡± Maybe they could reminisce over drinks later. Wait, ideally they and Dorothea would be home before the chance came. Rhys smiled. ¡°As you both know, I¡¯ll be leading you along with Cerid to the border. Though I know it¡¯s conceited to say, you¡¯ll be safe with me, so don¡¯t worry too much.¡± He nodded to Iree, handing her back control now that order had been restored. She grinned at Dorothea, who stood straighter under her attention. ¡°It¡¯s like he says. Nothing to worry about.¡± She turned to Rhys. ¡°Just get in, get the bodies and get out. For Kingfisher and I it should just be easy recon, but everyone should be on your guard as always.¡± The captain nodded. ¡°Got it. Take care, okay?¡± Iree laughed. ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me.¡± She and Ariana departed into the woods towards Sirpo¡¯s frigidity, towing heavy jackets that Iree had had the sense to bring with her. ¡°Ariana¡¯s not usually like that,¡± Rhys sighed by way of apology. ¡°I hope she gets frostbite,¡± Shark muttered. ¡°But whatever, we have better things to worry about.¡± Rhys nodded agreement and gestured to Cerid. ¡°Lead the way.¡± Cerid nodded, and the heavy, nervous breath he let out was the last sound between them all for a while. Though Dorothea seemed confused and tense in the enveloping silence, it felt natural to Shark. It was a matter of habit and training to quietly focus on one¡¯s surroundings. Carelessness led to death. Pathways through the woods had been carved out and trampled down by the passage of many prior groups, and Shark could almost feel their footsteps walking in time with their own. Being back in Sacer was doing something to their head. A dreadful nostalgia misted every movement, every breath; it was like wading through a dream. The pace slowed once they neared the border. A slight chill looped around them, and Shark felt their relief mixing with Dorothea¡¯s. Ghuria¡¯s climate was between Sirpo¡¯s and Sacer¡¯s, with harsh winters to rival the former¡¯s permanent cold but otherwise cool autumnal temperatures through the year. Even now in summer, a crisp wind passed through to ruffle the leaves above them, and Shark saw Cerid cross his arms against it. He was on edge, and it was clear why. That same wind carried the maliferous odor of putrefaction. Cerid turned to the group and motioned to where the corpses would be. Between trees Shark glimpsed innards scattered by animals and left halfway devoured. They crept closer, and Shark felt the attack coming before actually seeing the enemy. A slight rustle off to the side in the last moment between tension and battle let them know for sure. One eventually learned the difference between giving in to paranoid fear and trusting instinct. Dorothea was the only one surprised when chaos erupted. She yelped as Shark put an arm around her shoulders and yanked her to the ground, holding her tight to their side as they crouched. Ice erupted, rushing towards them in ferocious spikes that shone black with white and pale-blue sheens. Shark put their palm to the ground, and solid, packed columns of earth rose to intercept the attack, crushing it from the sides and underneath. So much for a simple retrieval mission. They looked down at Dorothea as she started to squirm in their grip. ¡°Gods help us,¡± they heard her whisper before she bolted away. ¡°Thea!¡± She was fleeing towards the bloated bodies of Cerid¡¯s friends. Naturally, the enemy aimed for her. Shark saw a slender form slipping between trees. A boy with goggles hanging loose around his neck was tearing clumps of dirt and grass up with each step, the ice that emerged from his feet wrecking his surroundings at every turn. Knowing the outlet was helpful, though. If Shark could get rid of those, the enemy would be as good as dead. Ice raced towards Dorothea as she ran, but Cerid jumped straight into its path. He stood firm, one fist tucked level with his ribs while the other was raised up near his shoulder. He punched upwards first, breaking the savage point of the ice off, then immediately followed with a punch to the dulled center. Cracks spread through the spire, and it shattered. Each spike was followed by more, and he had to keep in constant frenzied movement to avoid being ripped to shreds while slowly advancing against the tide. Thea being safe, at least for a moment, gave Shark room to concentrate. They were about to trap the Ghurian¡¯s feet in earth before crushing them when a slight pinprick of pain sprouted in their shoulder. Turning their head, they saw a thin needle sticking out. There were two more Ghurians lurking behind them, one a dark-haired girl holding a blowgun and the other a girl who somehow looked familiar. They¡¯d seen eyes exactly like hers, a rich and foresty green, before. No time to wonder. Something was wrong; they couldn¡¯t use their magic. Their brain was sending out commands, but nothing was happening. Rhys appeared at their side suddenly, dodging a needle that flew past his ear with less than an inch¡¯s berth. ¡°Your magic will be nullified for thirty seconds. I¡¯ll keep you safe until then, and then you help Cerid. I¡¯ll deal with these two.¡± ¡°No need.¡± Without their magic, what did Shark have? Really sharp teeth and a shit ton of determination, that¡¯s what. ¡°Cerid¡¯s got it.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re sure.¡± Shark grinned and sprinted straight for the enemy. The attackers looked surprised; they¡¯d clearly thought Shark having no magic would keep them at bay, not inspire them to rush in like a lunatic. In a flash they had tackled the needle-wielding woman to the ground, teeth bared. The other woman tried to pull them off but was quickly thrown off by Rhys as he seized her by the back of neck and tossed her as easily as skipping a stone. Both Ghurians screamed and thrashed as Shark¡¯s bared teeth slowly got closer to the woman¡¯s neck; in just a few more moments, the ineffectual blows on their body would cease as they tore her throat. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. A great crashing came from behind them, and Shark turned just in time to realize an actual fucking bear was barrelling towards them. They leaped off the Ghurian only for the creature to veer towards them with a roar and air that somehow seemed protective. In their distraction, Shark forgot about the greatest risk; another needle sank into their arm. The woman with familiar eyes was letting out sharp whistles. The bear was responding to her? So it was a magic that let her commune with animals. The sky above was darkening due to clusters of shrieking birds that were landing in the trees, talons extended. Their calls seemed to seek blood, and Shark shivered. Would they win? Was Cerid still okay, was Thea? Rhys let out a quiet sigh next to them. ¡°I suppose I have to.¡± He lifted a limp hand, and water appeared at the necks of both women, who stopped midstep. ¡°Call them off,¡± he ordered calmly. The needle woman spat out a few curses, so Rhys lifted his other hand and let an arc of water fly. The bear¡¯s head flew from its body in one clean slice. The green-eyed woman let out a short but sharp shriek of despair, and her comrade got quiet quickly. ¡°Call them off,¡± Rhys repeated. The green-eyed woman let out a few weak whistles, and while the birds actually seemed reluctant, fluttering their wings and crying out in agitation, they dispersed. Just as Shark was sure the Ghurian¡¯s heads were going to join the bear¡¯s, Rhys slid both hands into his pockets, the water that had kept them at bay dropping. ¡°Retreat, all three of you,¡± he said mildly. ¡°Leave us to our work.¡± The two looked at each other, having a silent exchange. Shark tried to communicate to Rhys in the same way with a questioning look, but he avoided their gaze. ¡°This isn¡¯t over,¡± the needle woman hissed before pulling her comrade with her towards their googles-wearing companion, who stopped assaulting Cerid with ice once he noticed them coming. ¡°What the heck, man?¡± Shark complained. ¡°You had ¡®em.¡± Rhys shot a look that kindly asked them to shut up. ¡°We¡¯ve got an untrained civilian with us, and we¡¯re already in the midst of a diplomatic disaster. Ending this as peacefully and quickly as possible benefits us more.¡± Point. In the moment, though, all Shark had wanted was blood. Really, they¡­ They had been so willing, had jumped right back into it¡­ Suddenly, their hands were shaking. What had just happened, what had come over them? Hadn¡¯t they left this life behind a long time ago? ¡°Mark my words, Sacerian pigs!¡± A defiant cry from the goggles boy jerked them from their thoughts. He stared them down with a ferocious, damn near bloodthirsty grin. ¡°We¡¯ve been beaten down, but we aren¡¯t defeated, not now or ever!¡± Then, on a ferry of ice punctuated by the aching split of trees in its wake, the three Ghurians were gone. ¡°You did well. Thank you,¡± Rhys said quietly to Shark before striding towards Cerid and Dorothea. Right. And that was what scared Shark most, the power their former life had over them. How badly that huge part of them wanted to return to everything they¡¯d left behind. * Dorothea didn¡¯t have proper words to describe what she had witnessed. At the moment though, she just needed to hurry and get her job done so they could all be safe. ¡°I¡¯m almost done, sorry,¡± she said softly. It took more time and effort the more decomposed or destroyed a body was. That was why she had rushed out of Shark¡¯s grip at the start; she¡¯d wanted to hurry before the corpses got caught up in the carnage. With their organs restored and flesh resealed, the fallen Sacerian soldiers woke with gasps and starts. Before they could get a single collective moment to process, Cerid spoke. ¡°I am sorry!¡± he declared, bloodied hands clenched into fists; he was having trouble uncurling them after all they''d endured even in such a short battle. ¡°I am so sorry for my failure.¡± The words were pleas for forgiveness that held no hope of it being granted. The soldiers looked winded, but one stood and put his hand on Cerid¡¯s shoulder. ¡°You survived and got help. That''s plenty.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t forget, you¡¯re the reason they¡¯re all alive. And you helped Sirpo too, coming to the rescue like a hero. You did good,¡± Shark offered with an encouraging smile, and Cerid¡¯s cheeks reddened slightly. ¡°I can¡¯t believe it,¡± another of the revived soldiers gasped. ¡°Brought back from the dead. Extremis must have been watching over us.¡± Yet another laughed. ¡°Say your prayers when we¡¯re back home. Gods, I can¡¯t wait for a shower and a beer.¡± Dorothea watched them in complete confusion. It was difficult to keep up with how easily they shifted from battle to casual chatting. Fear still coursed through her so intensely that she wondered how she was going to get to her feet. Rhys took over next. ¡°I¡¯ll explain everything on the way back to Udara. We¡¯ll also need an official incident report from all of you to corroborate with Cerid¡¯s.¡± Formality and duty snapped back in, and any semblance of celebration ended. ¡°Captain Tamlin. Of course,¡± one soldier replied. ¡°Thank you for your efforts on our behalf.¡± Rhys explained Cerid¡¯s actions, which he painted as nothing short of heroic much to the boy¡¯s embarrassment, and Dorothea and Shark¡¯s presence. Once all the attention was off her, Dorothea sidled surreptitiously to Cerid and took his hand. The bloody splits, welts and fractured bones mended. Cerid''s cheeks flushed with appreciation, he gave her a shy nod. After watching him over the past two days, she just couldn¡¯t hate this boy. Shark didn''t even look remotely upset at what she''d done though. They looked like they wanted to be the one by Cerid''s side instead. Rhys by contrast had frowned and was speaking almost to himself. ¡°Bold of them¡­ Attacks like these.¡± ¡°Is it that different from their tactics up to this point?¡± Dorothea asked. ¡°It¡¯s more like a return to the tactics they commonly used at the start of the war,¡± he noted. ¡°It¡¯s a sign of desperation, right?¡± Shark posited. ¡°Maybe¡­¡± Rhys shook his head. ¡°For now everyone, spend the rest of the day with your loved ones. They¡¯ll be happy to see you back.¡± He looked at Dorothea and Shark next. ¡°And the two of you should be able to go home after we¡¯ve created an incident report and formed a written contract between Sacer and Sirpo. Sorry for the delay.¡± Dorothea held back a sigh of relief. ¡°Not at all.¡± It was a small trade. Sacer got back a few lives that could easily be lost again and Sirpo got protection. Really, the Sacerians were getting the raw end of the deal. ¡°And thank you, too,¡± Rhys added. ¡°For doing what you did.¡± ¡°It¡¯s no problem.¡± And on that note, Rhys had been injured as well. In grappling with one of the Ghurians, he¡¯d gotten a bloody scratch on his face at some point. ¡°Hold still a moment please, Rhys.¡± He looked at her questioningly as she approached but flinched away when she reached up to touch his cheek. Surprised, she tried once more and got the same reaction. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I should have asked permission. May I help you?¡± she tried, thinking invasiveness was the issue. He shook his head, looking guarded. ¡°Let¡¯s keep moving.¡± Dorothea looked at Shark, who mirrored her confused face and answered it with a shrug. The trip resumed with that awkward moment hanging in the air. When they got back to Udara, a sweltering early afternoon awaited them. Dorothea and Shark were left to their own devices as Rhys left to do whatever military leaders did and Cerid left for home. She didn¡¯t know what to say to her friend. ¡°So¡­ How do you feel about today?¡± They hesitated. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Me too. I just, I don¡¯t get how they were all so calm about the whole thing, you know? They were trying to kill other people, they got killed, and they were all so cheerful somehow.¡± ¡°We can¡¯t just wallow,¡± Shark said. ¡°If we don¡¯t pick ourselves back up and keep livin¡¯ life, the weight¡¯d kill us.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s just that what¡¯s terrible to me is routine to the rest of you. And Shark, you¡¯re just¡­falling right back into it. You talk as if you haven¡¯t left it for a day.¡± ¡°Hey, this was a one-time deal. I¡¯m looking forward to going back home just as much as you are.¡± Shark paused, reflecting. ¡°It surprised me too at first, but I¡¯d rather be able to fight when I need to. I like being able to protect you.¡± They drew her closer. ¡°Before, I only fought to get by. But it¡¯s different with you here.¡± Newfound gratefulness and affection for Shark washed over her, erasing feelings of doubt and fear. She was selfish, she realized. Self-pity wasn¡¯t helpful to anyone. ¡°I just¡­ It¡¯s really nothing, isn¡¯t it? The legacy of my family, my fate, my mother¡¯s death¡­ It¡¯s just a droplet in a rainstorm. Every single person is suffering in some way.¡± She¡¯d never recognized how uselessly sorry she felt for herself until now. ¡°That¡¯s the way it is. They made their choice and we made ours.¡± ¡°Right.¡± No, not right at all. ¡°My head¡¯s spinning, Sharkie.¡± ¡°That¡¯s okay. It¡¯ll set itself right once we get home.¡± But it wouldn¡¯t. It wouldn¡¯t set itself right, not for the people down here, and Dorothea couldn¡¯t ignore that anymore. 9. Marigolds Resolve A good leader knew how to turn coincidence into opportunity. That¡¯s what Iree thought to herself as she headed towards Sirpo with the intent of utterly destroying it. Her responsibility to Sacer dictated that she take whatever measures necessary to achieve victory. Having Eternal Rosemary on her side meant losing the war would be impossible; they could end the violence after so long. If Iree gave that up, she wouldn¡¯t be fulfilling her duty to her people. The moment Atlin had introduced herself, she¡¯d begun to make the necessary plans. It was predictable. If you gave someone a strong enough cause to fight for, they would make the effort. Say that Atlin happened to end up with nowhere to return to. Say those dastardly Ghurian rats went so far as to destroy Sirpo. What would the natural conclusion of the Atlin girl¡¯s desire for revenge and justice be? Why, she¡¯d give her magic to Sacer of course. The main issue was the many ways it could go wrong. What if Atlin asked to see the damage for herself? Iree was willing to bet she could convince her not to go, but the problem was that her people, if left alive, would definitely contact her. It was far too big of a risk, so Iree decided to turn lie into truth. Nothing to do but act. The Sirpoan people would be brought back by Atlin¡¯s hand, so any guilt Iree would have felt from the necessary sacrifice was assuaged. That wasn¡¯t to say she felt nothing as she and Ariana commenced with the slaughter of innocent civilians, far from it, but it gave her strikes the decisive nature they needed. The deed wasn¡¯t as clean as she¡¯d hoped; some Sirpoans had once been soldiers, after all. Still, people like Shark Olyen were the exception, not the rule. Not everyone could retain the fruits of their training after so much time. Either way, the Sirpoans were at a severe disadvantage against soldiers who had abandoned hesitation and mercy before arriving. That combined with the element of surprise made Iree rightfully confident in hers and Ariana¡¯s victory. Neither of them escaped without a few scrapes and bruises, but that was better to make their story more convincing. To be sure, Iree tore her own sleeve and made an extra cut on her forehead, letting blood drip down. ¡°Let¡¯s wait a while before heading back,¡± she said once they had reconvened at the entrance to the wasted territory after one last sweep for survivors. Four whole cities desolated. Small cities, but still. She was pretty tired. Ariana squeezed her right hand into a fist, pursing her lips as blood squelched and oozed between her fingers. The blades her magic created could emerge from any point in her body, but she always chose her hands for simplicity. Her palms were almost permanently wounded as the gouges were consistently cut through, slice after slice building to rot. ¡°How¡¯s the infection healing up?¡± ¡°Like always.¡± She scooped up some snow and inhaled sharply at the biting relief. A frosty wind whipped around them, but she didn¡¯t shiver, instead studying the bright sunlight as it highlighted the silhouettes of mountains from behind. ¡°Are you sure this will be the end of it?¡± ¡°I am. With Atlin behind us, we won''t lose.¡± They watched melted snow mix with blood and trickle down in thin pink rivulets. ¡°Okay then.¡± ¡°You sure you¡¯re good?¡± Iree wasn¡¯t pretending to have stomached the whole thing without flinching. The method she had used to kill as many people as quickly as possible was to seize their faces or the back of their necks before applying a quick blast of heat intense enough to create a bubbling explosion. She¡¯d been lucky not to get burned by the blastbacks too much. The image of a wide, panicked eye peeking between her fingers before she dealt death¡­ It wasn¡¯t easily forgotten. ¡°If I wanted the easy way, I wouldn¡¯t be here.¡± Iree smiled. ¡°That¡¯s why I like you, Ariana. You always say what¡¯s on my mind without meaning to.¡± Ariana was unamused. ¡°Easy to like someone when they share your views, right?¡± ¡°You¡¯re such a grump.¡± Ariana sighed and patted her hands dry on her pants before drawing a book out from her coat. ¡°I scoped out the Atlin house like you asked me to. There wasn¡¯t much, but I did find this. Looks like it was her mother¡¯s journal.¡± ¡°You keep it at your place for now. I¡¯ll go over it later to see if it¡¯ll tell me anything useful about her or her magic.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re sure.¡± One more time, she shook off her hand into the snow. ¡°Promise me, Iree.¡± ¡°Of course. It ends here.¡± For Sacer, for everything behind them and for her own goals, she wouldn¡¯t allow any other conclusion to come to pass. *~*~* Dorothea, Shark and Cerid were busy chatting and snacking in the ornate dining hall of Cerid¡¯s home when the deciding news arrived. Dorothea and Shark, their backs to the door, were alarmed when Cerid jumped up from his seat mid-sentence. ¡°Commander, Captain, hello,¡± he called, giving a short salute. Dorothea stumbled as she stood and spun around at the same time, and Shark took her arm to steady her. Once they saw Iree and Rhys approaching them, they took her hand and held tight. Rhys was frowning tensely, and Iree¡¯s clothing was torn. Blood had dripped down her face and was smeared across her jaw. ¡°What happened? Are you okay?¡± Dorothea asked, stomach tight with fear. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Iree replied impatiently. ¡°So¡¯s Ariana.¡± That was good, but it only made the obvious problem feel even more ominous. Dorothea looked between Rhys and Iree in rapid trades, willing one of them to speak. ¡°Dorothea, Shark, it¡¯s¡­¡± Rhys trailed off when Iree held up a hand. ¡°I¡¯ll say it. It¡¯s my fault, after all.¡± She met Dorothea¡¯s eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but Sirpo has been destroyed. By the time we got there¡­ It¡¯s all gone. Every city, every house, every¡­person. There were no survivors.¡± She hung her head. Dorothea and Shark turned to face one another¡¯s shock and horror at the same time. On a base level, she understood. The words, the meaning, however, part of her just refused to accept it. Iree continued, anger shaking her voice. ¡°We met some of those lowlife Ghurian rats on their way out and came to blows, but they fled since they¡¯d already done what they had come to do. We just knew after that, but we had to see for ourselves and¡­ I didn¡¯t think they would go that far. I¡¯m sorry. ¡± Shark spoke after a few moments of heavy, stunned silence. ¡°Let¡¯s think about this, Thea.¡± Their grip was so tight Dorothea felt like her hand might splinter apart. The pressure was good and safe, anchoring her. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°Right¡­¡± They needed to consider how effective their efforts would be before acting. Yes, the events were reversible, but what action would prevent them from facing the same dilemma again? It wasn¡¯t as simple as it might seem. Even if she saved their lives now, when would the next attack come? Even assuming the Sirpoans were taken into Sacerian protection, there was still a chance the war would be lost and they would all be slaughtered regardless. She could no longer trust Ghuria to honor any treaty. What was the best way to protect them? The Ghurians had taken everything so easily. How could she fulfill her duty? But what duty was that? Serve them until she shared her mother¡¯s fate? Remain isolated and blissfully uninvolved while the two warring factions destroyed each other? Was that all her power was meant to be used for? She didn¡¯t know anything anymore. ¡°We need time to think,¡± Shark said again, understanding that Dorothea was too numb at the moment to give any answers. Iree put a hand on her shoulder. ¡°By all means. Take all the time you need to decide what to do next.¡± Dorothea barely heard her. How could the Ghurians be so cruel? The pure terror the people of Sirpo must have endured in their final agonizing moments! ¡°No¡­¡± She put her hands over her face and bowed her head, trying and failing to hold back tears. ¡°They all¡­must have suffered so much¡­!¡± ¡°Thea.¡± Shark draped their arm over her shoulders. ¡°Come on. We should be alone.¡± She could feel them shaking; it was anger and not fear, she knew. She let herself be led away. Everything seemed distorted, distant from her. Dorothea had promised from the very beginning of her life, it seemed, that she would save the people of Sirpo despite her own reluctance and fear; the oath was carved into her heart. But now, even after such a short time, her heart told her there was so much more to protect than what she¡¯d thought. *~*~* After Dorothea had cried herself to a long and dreamless sleep, she woke up filled with anger. She had never been this angry in her entire life. As she stirred, Shark let out a grumble beside her, opening one eye a crack. ¡°Eh, wha¡¯ time izzit?¡± It was a new day, pale morning light filtering through. She and Shark both looked haggard, washed out and sad. ¡°You fell asleep too?¡± It hadn¡¯t seemed possible, but here they were. ¡°You kinda cried yourself into it, so I drifted off¡­ Yesterday was a long day.¡± They sighed. ¡°Anything feel more clear?¡± They stretched as they both sat up, Shark¡¯s fingers combing through their hair; it reached down to their waist just like hers when they hadn¡¯t yet tied parts of it up. Yes, actually. ¡°We can¡¯t let this stand,¡± Dorothea said with cold certainty. Shark nodded, fixing their teardrop earrings into place. The purple pendant they then put around their neck, a necklace of Ophelia¡¯s that had been gifted from Dorothea, shone softly against their taupe skin. ¡°So what do you want to do?¡± They needed to start with the facts. ¡°With their actions, the Ghurians have proven that neutrality doesn¡¯t mean anything anymore. We need entirely new protective measures.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve still gotta wonder why they attacked in the first place.¡± Shark thought aloud. ¡°Maybe they knew that we¡¯d try to ally with Sacer and wanted to avoid that? With Sirpo gone, we can¡¯t lend any resources.¡± Dorothea couldn¡¯t say. How to get into the heads of people so foreign and detestable? ¡°So our first option is to go back to a point when Sirpo wasn¡¯t destroyed and get help earlier. Or we could just go back right now, reverse the damage and resume life as normal with Sacer lending troops.¡± ¡°The second one¡¯s better, right? We don¡¯t have to reestablish ties with the Sacerians, and you¡¯ve already done them the favor of helping out Cerid¡¯s group, so they still owe you. Maybe it¡¯s better to keep it that way.¡± ¡°We wouldn¡¯t have to worry about that battle at the border anymore either.¡± Knowing what would happen to Cerid¡¯s group, she couldn¡¯t let that go unrectified. It was easier to stay in the present where all was already well on that front. Shark let out an exhausted sigh. ¡°So it¡¯s a matter of how we wanna use our current standing with Sacer. Iree seemed pretty willing to go along with whatever we decided.¡± ¡°There¡¯s just¡­nothing stopping Ghuria. There are no guarantees anywhere.¡± The only thing that absolutely meant Sirpo would be safe was if Ghuria was defeated. ¡°Look¡­ We can talk about what¡¯s easier or what will strain me less, but it¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m going to die anyways.¡± Shark¡¯s voice had a hard edge as they demanded, ¡°So what? That¡¯s no reason to waste what you¡¯ve got left.¡± They knew where her thoughts were going. ¡°Shark, I didn¡¯t realize until recently how hateful I¡¯ve become. After watching Mom go, I didn¡¯t care about the rest of the world.¡± Dorothea pressed her hands to her heart. ¡°And I didn¡¯t want to use this power for anyone else¡¯s sake. I thought they didn¡¯t deserve it. But who deserves this war? Me living my life like I have is completely meaningless. If I¡¯m going to die, it should be for a good reason.¡± ¡°No, Thea. We can find a different way to fix this.¡± ¡°I think I should fight for them,¡± she said gently. ¡°No. Please.¡± Dorothea searched their begging eyes. ¡°What would you have me do?¡± ¡°Literally anything else!¡± They shook their head before snapping, ¡°You feel guilty, so now you want to become some sacrificial martyr? You don¡¯t have a responsibility to anyone, and no one¡¯s asked you to take pity on them. It¡¯s not your war and you¡¯re not their hero.¡± ¡°I know. I know it¡¯s too little, too late. I just¡­ I¡¯d rather do something good before I¡ª¡± ¡°Just stop talking about dying!¡± Shark yelled. ¡°How can I not? Every moment is ticking away from me!¡± Dorothea retorted. ¡°Shark, it¡¯s no use. I think¡­ After coming here, I think that living and dying having done nothing for anyone else would be worse than picking my own purpose.¡± ¡°So you¡¯ll die because it¡¯s noble?¡± Shark let out a bitter laugh. ¡°Honestly, Thea, that¡¯s bullshit. It¡¯s utter bullshit.¡± ¡°Maybe. But I still think it¡¯s the right thing to do. This is the route that will give our homeland the most surefire chance at safety.¡± ¡°This is war, Thea. It¡¯ll only get worse from here on out if we do this.¡± ¡°Shark, you don¡¯t have to follow me. I can take responsibility for my choices alone.¡± They shook their head. ¡°No way. Your battles are mine. There¡¯s no other way for me to live my life. But that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll just go along, got it? If I have a say, there¡¯s going to be plenty of life left in you by the time we¡¯re through.¡± Dorothea managed a laugh. ¡°Thank you. It¡¯s not like I want to die¡­ I¡¯ll have a few good years left with you by the end.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Shark hugged her tight, squeezing the breath out of her. ¡°This is gonna be messy.¡± ¡°Probably.¡± ¡°Welp. Ready to break the news to the others?¡± ¡°As I¡¯ll ever be.¡± They breathed deep, cleaned up as best they could and went to find the commander and the others. Just like they had left them the day before, Iree, Cerid and Rhys were in the dining hall. The three looked like they hadn¡¯t rested well and were locked in tense conversation. ¡°Hello,¡± Dorothea said, and they all turned to stare at her. Iree gave her a sympathetic smile. ¡°I won¡¯t ask if you¡¯re okay, since the answer is obvious. So what¡¯ll it be? You¡¯ve got the look of someone whose mind is made up.¡± Dorothea approached her, chest tight with fear and anticipation. She found courage to speak in Shark¡¯s presence behind her. ¡°I will help you win this war,¡± she offered. ¡°Anything you ask of me within my power, I¡¯ll do it. In return, Sacer will become Sirpo¡¯s sworn protector upon its resurrection. Our nations will become allies against whatever might harm us.¡± Please don¡¯t say no, she prayed. Please, help me save them. Iree¡¯s eyes flashed. ¡°You have yourself a deal, Atlin.¡± She put both hands on her hips. ¡°Give me twenty minutes. Rhys, take them to my office. We¡¯ll all meet there to plan. Got it? Good. I¡¯ll be back.¡± Then she was gone, hair streaming behind her like streaks across a sky mottled by bloody sunset as she ran. Dorothea almost laughed. The commander was amazing. She moved with pure decisive force, not wasting a single moment. She had to be the same way now. There was no time to waste, quite literally; every second that went by was one more she wouldn¡¯t be able to give away to save her home and its people. She, and they, wouldn¡¯t die for nothing. She¡¯d make sure of it. 10. Nightshades Weight Iree¡¯s office was on the second floor of the Creed house. A chalkboard lined with notes and diagrams took up the front wall, and the room was dotted with unlit candles of all sizes and colors. A row of chairs facing the board were up against the back wall, and Dorothea and the others settled into them once Iree burst into the room with a blank-faced Ariana behind her. ¡°Right!¡± Iree clapped her hands. ¡°Atlin, these are the people you¡¯ll be working with closely during your time here. My A-team, if you will, made up of Rhys, Creed, Kingfisher and obviously myself. We¡¯ll all be on the front lines together, so know you¡¯ve got some real powerhouses on your side.¡± ¡°The front lines¡­¡± Dorothea echoed. What she¡¯d committed to was starting to sink in. Iree smiled apologetically. ¡°That¡¯s where we need you.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± Rhys peered at her. ¡°You look overwhelmed. We can go over everything later if you need to take a break.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine, thank you.¡± She couldn¡¯t be coddled. Getting in the way defeated the purpose of her presence here. Iree¡¯s voice was firm when she spoke again. ¡°With this, we¡¯ll end the war for good. Atlin¡¯s ability to turn back time means that we can¡¯t lose if we play our cards right. But we can¡¯t get careless. Does everyone here understand that?¡± Her audience nodded in unison. ¡°Good. Atlin, I want to get a sense of your understanding. Do you know why this war started in the first place? Tell me what you know and I¡¯ll fill in the gaps.¡± Feeling pressured with everyone¡¯s eyes on her, Dorothea cleared her throat. ¡°Um. Okay. So, it started with...with the epidemic.¡± How to describe that day five years ago? Bittersweet Nightshade magic had spread across the entire country of Atritaria, taking lives in all three territories. Though Sirpo¡¯s losses were small, the shock had still cut deep. People everywhere who had been happy and hearty mere moments before just dropped dead without warning when that magic made contact. By the time her mother had finished covering for those losses, she¡¯d almost been ready to break. And then, not long after, she had. It was impossible to imagine how horrific it had to have been in Sacer for this to happen on a wide scale. Dorothea had been able to push her losses into a dark corner of herself, but the Sacerians had to face their mourning every day as they battled the Ghurians. ¡°Sacer declared war on Ghuria afterwards due to the unprompted attack and a lack of attempt at apology or even explanation,¡± she concluded. ¡°Exactly right.¡± Iree nodded. ¡°So then¡ª¡± ¡°So,¡± Ariana interrupted, ¡°why didn¡¯t you turn back time after the epidemic?¡± Dorothea met her glare, gulping past a lump in her throat. She¡¯d expected questions along these lines, and she owed it to her new allies to answer for her inaction. ¡°At the time, I didn¡¯t think it was possible for me to prevent it,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Bullshit. You could have warned someone, anyone. In fact, what¡¯s to stop you right now?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about, so shut your mouth,¡± Shark snapped. ¡°Cool it,¡± Iree ordered. ¡°Now, Atlin. It¡¯s enough for me that you¡¯ve agreed to help us now, but I¡¯ve gotta admit I¡¯ve been wondering the same thing.¡± Before Shark could explode, Dorothea rested a hand on their arm. ¡°It¡¯s okay. This is a good gateway into telling you all.¡± She looked at Shark, and they nodded; Rhys¡¯ gaze was especially heated on her face as well for some reason. ¡°The use of Eternal Rosemary takes a toll. Essentially I trade life force to turn back time.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you leaving something out?¡± Shark asked pointedly. ¡°What?¡± Too late, Dorothea realized what they wanted her to say. ¡°Shark, no¡ª¡± ¡°The Atlin way of dying,¡± they announced. ¡°Shark!¡± ¡°Look, they¡¯ve gotta know what they¡¯re gonna do to you.¡± They continued without heed. ¡°The stress of turning back time eventually gets to be too much. The Atlins get torn apart by it, literally.¡± They paused to glare at everyone else. ¡°Now that you know that, take care not to push Thea too hard or you¡¯ll have me to answer to.¡± Dorothea bit her lip to stop it from trembling. Shark was right; the Sacerians needed to know the full scope of what would happen to her each time they made a strategic choice to use Eternal Rosemary. But still, they were staring into a raw, weak part of her now, and she felt disgusted with herself. Iree was frowning. ¡°That¡¯s not quite what I expected. It complicates things¡­¡± She looked downwards and cupped her own chin as she sank into thought. Dorothea took a breath to collect herself, swallowing her emotions and locking them down. ¡°So to answer your question, Ariana¡­ In the case of stopping the epidemic and the war, there are far too many unknowns. Who specifically was the cause? What drove them, however many there were? How many underlying factors were there, and how many of those do I need to contend with? Will my actions actually prevent the conflict, or will it just start in a different way? If I or anyone else could completely answer those questions, then maybe we¡¯d have a start. But I have no idea.¡± ¡°Bullshit,¡± Ariana muttered. Dorothea stared down at the table. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t apologize,¡± Ariana said, words calm but glare scathing. ¡°It means nothing, and it¡¯s downright insulting.¡± ¡°Almost as insulting as acting like you have a right to dictate how someone else should live their life,¡± Shark shot back. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Everybody shut up,¡± Iree ordered. ¡°Listen, Atlin. Knowing this is valuable. I¡¯ll use my best judgment when it comes to asking you to use your magic. From now on you need to let me know when you¡¯re hitting your limit, okay? We¡¯re comrades now, and that means we take care of each other.¡± Dorothea nodded, unable to speak. Iree gave her a reassuring smile. ¡°I know this is hard. Come to me with your troubles. Better yet, bother Rhys.¡± She punched his shoulder. ¡°He gives better advice.¡± Rhys shook his head. ¡°That aside, I have a question, Dorothea.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± She made herself look up when he didn¡¯t start speaking immediately. He caught her eyes, and she was caught by how clear his were, a soft, understated gray. His general presence was very calming, and now she felt grateful for it. ¡°How will you avoid pushing yourself too far? Do you have the experience to understand your own limitations? Not to sound demeaning, but¡­¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. I just have to listen to my body in those situations. There will be clear signs that I¡¯m pushing too hard.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Rhys looked thoughtful and not very reassured. ¡°So,¡± Iree began, ¡°I know it must be uncomfortable, but let¡¯s talk math. How much does each action you might foresee taking cost you? Reviving the dead, for example?¡± Dorothea¡¯s mind was racing, and her body was telling her to run. She forced herself to sit perfectly still and explain, ¡°Reviving a corpse takes about a month of life away if it¡¯s, um¡­fresh?¡± She hated talking so callously, but it had to be said. ¡°The longer it¡¯s left, the more it costs to restore. Next, healing wounds can take anywhere from seconds to hours of life depending on the severity. Reversing the time of day costs roughly a month per hour.¡± Those were the calculations her mother had written in her journal, at least. ¡°Huh¡­¡± Iree was jotting down notes on the blackboard and looking thoughtful. ¡°That said, it¡¯s only best to use the last option if the cost will be lesser than it would be to stay in the current timeline and reverse what damage has already been done.¡± She twiddled her thumbs and stared down at them. The chalk scraped sharply along the board before Iree set her stub of a piece down. ¡°Understood. Is that all?¡± Dorothea nodded. She felt picked apart, and she hated herself more for her own continued self-pity in this moment. Rhys spoke in his usual calm tone to ease the tension. ¡°A lot of magics have their drawbacks, but I¡¯ve never heard of anything like this. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Drawbacks for other magics?¡± She¡¯d never heard Shark complain about something like that. Besides, this was a great chance to get the focus off of her. He paused, considering. ¡°We can think of them more as side-effects of varying degrees.¡± ¡°For example, I get hot flashes sometimes,¡± Iree offered. Her eyes lit up, and she grabbed a chair to sit between Rhys and Ariana. ¡°You know, I wanted this meeting to serve as an icebreaker, and this is a good chance. I¡¯ll start.¡± She smiled at Dorothea. ¡°My magic is Burning Marigold, an Annual magic. Seeds grow from my hands, see?¡± She displayed her palms, where seeds indeed were rooted in their centers. ¡°If I throw it, it explodes, or I can just shoot fire directly.¡± Without warning, she plucked one and threw it at Rhys¡¯ head. He caught it as Dorothea let out a yelp. ¡°Don¡¯t scare them like that. It only bursts if she wills it to,¡± he explained, frowning in response to Iree¡¯s unyielding grin. ¡°Is this your way of telling me to go next?¡± ¡°Yup!¡± Iree watched him with a smile. ¡°Well¡­ My magic is Aquatic Clematis,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s a Perennial magic that lets me control water in just about any form. In terms of a drawback, well¡­¡± He frowned deeper as Iree¡¯s grin turned mischievous. ¡°Say it,¡± she goaded. ¡°Say iiit!¡± He pursed his lips. ¡°My hands are¡­basically they¡¯re, er, moist. Sometimes. Not all the time. It¡¯s not sweat, it¡¯s¡­ Most magics have concentrated outlets in the hands or feet, as you know. So water gathers on my palms sometimes if I don¡¯t focus on it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice and all, but please don¡¯t use the word moist,¡± Ariana laughed. Her chuckles were deep, sharp and resounding, and it was nice to see she had non-angry expressions. Rhys was back to frowning. ¡°Hey, Iree.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± She wiped at eyes teary with amusement. He leaned in to have his lips close to her ear. ¡°Mmmoist.¡± Iree shuddered, though initially her cheeks had reddened some when he got close. ¡°Why would you do that?! She¡¯s the one who said it!¡± She pointed at Ariana with an accusatory finger, and the girl broke into a newfound fit of laughter. ¡°Yes, but you were the one laughing first,¡± Rhys reasoned flatly. Cerid spoke next, having been the only one besides Dorothea not to laugh at Rhys¡¯ expense. ¡°Steadfast Azalea enhances my speed, strength and constitution. It is a Perennial magic. In terms of bodily aftereffects¡­ I am less sensitive to physical sensation than others.¡± He shot Shark a sharp look as they snickered. Dorothea was fascinated. The course of magic through one¡¯s body was a miracle, but the vessel was also fragile. She was glad their manifestations weren¡¯t so self-destructive. ¡°Come on, Ariana,¡± Iree urged. ¡°Just a few sentences.¡± Ariana huffed. ¡°Steeled Primrose. Perennial. You¡¯ll see for yourself.¡± ¡°Guess I¡¯m last,¡± Shark said, frowning at Ariana. ¡°Erupting Rhizanthella is a magic that lets me manipulate the earth. Eh, not much happens to me as a result¡­ Well, I get dry skin. So like the opposite of Mister Moist here.¡± ¡°Please stop.¡± Rhys tugged on his ponytail as the room once again dissolved into laughter. Iree clapped her hands once everyone had had their fun. ¡°Alright. That¡¯s done. Hopefully everyone here will at least try to get along.¡± She turned to Dorothea. ¡°I know it¡¯s a tough ask, but relax as much as you can. I¡¯ve hand-picked powerful soldiers with Perennial magics that can fight year-round at their best. From what I¡¯ve gathered, most remaining Ghurian soldiers have Annual magics, so we¡¯re already at an advantage.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Dorothea said, squeezing Shark¡¯s arm. Knowing that some of the enemies¡¯ magics would wane with the changing of the months didn¡¯t make her feel better. Since the time a magic could be used roughly corresponded with the bloom time of its floral namesake, Perennials would naturally be more valued in warfare than Annual ones. It surprised her that Iree had gotten to her position with an Annual magic, but that just spoke more to her leadership skills. Iree smiled appreciatively at her. ¡°Now, last order of business is where you¡¯ll be staying.¡± ¡°As long as we¡¯re in the same place, it doesn¡¯t matter where,¡± Shark said, and Dorothea nodded. Cerid raised his hand. ¡°Commander, my father has already spoken to me. He said he would be happy to have them continue lodging here.¡± Iree nodded. ¡°That¡¯s settled then, if you two are okay with it.¡± Shark was grinning. ¡°I think we can manage.¡± ¡°Good deal.¡± Iree withdrew something from her pocket and threw it at Rhys, who caught it in a flash of movement. ¡°Take care of them, okay?¡± She pointed to Dorothea and Shark. ¡°Shopping and dinner. Watching them go around in those Sirpoan clothes makes me sweat too. Kingfisher, Creed, go with them and have a good time.¡± With a wink and a grin, she sped off to her next destination, wherever that might be. ¡°She never stops, does she?¡± Shark observed dryly. ¡°Not at all,¡± Rhys agreed. ¡°Well¡­ If everyone¡¯s ready?¡± Shark and Dorothea shared a glance, and they grinned at her. ¡°Again, as we¡¯ll ever be.¡± 11. Primroses Censure Ariana gave patience her best shot, but she¡¯d had enough. She wasted all her energy on false politeness during the clothes and toiletry shopping, so when the subject of a late lunch came up she grabbed Dorothea by the wrist, clipped, ¡°I¡¯m taking her, we¡¯ll meet back up here,¡± and dragged her off before anyone could protest. The caf¨¦ she led them to aimed for a relaxed, tidy feel. A vase holding a single white azalea bloom sat atop a yellow doily on each polished table. A bar against the far wall had hand-woven placemats in front of each tall, cushioned stool. With a different person by her side, Ariana might have appreciated the setting. She initiated conversation since Dorothea wasn¡¯t quite dumb enough to try for a pleasant chat on her own. ¡°Do you think you¡¯ll be regarded as a hero?¡± she asked with a quiet, bitter bite in her voice. Dorothea shifted in discomfort. ¡°Everyone can and will think what they like.¡± If that wasn¡¯t a noncommittal, chickenshit kind of answer, Ariana didn¡¯t know what was. ¡°Let me be clear. You¡¯re a pathetic excuse for a human being. You¡¯re weak, self-righteous, and an idiot,¡± she laughed contemptuously, ¡°if you think you can waltz in now and expect us to be grateful. You¡¯re getting off your ass after all this time because you suddenly decided it was the right thing to do? Sure. Once it affects you personally I bet it doesn¡¯t feel too good.¡± Dorothea was trembling as she stared down at her hands, and it pleased Ariana. She wouldn¡¯t react that way if she didn¡¯t think Ariana was right. When she responded, the tremor was present in her voice as well. ¡°I-I''ve chosen to give my best here and now. That¡¯s all I can say.¡± ¡°Your power could have saved so many lives, dammit!¡± Ariana snapped. A waiter that had been passing by their table jumped at the venom in her tone, silverware piled atop half-eaten meals rattling. ¡°I see.¡± Dorothea smiled faintly, tiredly, and Ariana wanted to slap it off her face. From there, they were silent until their food was delivered and silent as they ate. It was due to this quiet that a conversation from the bar reached them, words bouncing off Ariana¡¯s back. ¡°Did you hear about it? Those rats have sunk to a new low.¡± ¡°Of course I heard about it. I live with my head outside my ass and read the paper just like everyone else.¡± Dorothea¡¯s eyes went wide, and Ariana sighed. Every major and minor event in Sacer was shared in the daily paper. Rhys, being a better spokesperson than Iree, handled most contact with the press. Ariana thought the whole thing was a waste of time, but it did make the people feel better to know what was happening behind the scenes. The paper¡¯s latest edition had explained Sirpo¡¯s destruction, or at least provided the lie that the Ghurians were responsible. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it just go to show that the rats can¡¯t be trusted? I mean, that Ghurian woman¡­ Wouldn¡¯t this be the perfect chance to turn traitor? Again, I mean.¡± ¡°Once a traitor, always a traitor. Don¡¯t we all know that?¡± The conversation was too pointed. There was no way they didn¡¯t know Ariana was sitting right there. Regardless, they were stupid if they thought such petty insults would get to her. ¡°With this much on the line, isn¡¯t it better to just get rid of her?¡± Dorothea leaned forward as she anxiously stirred her drink with her straw. ¡°Ariana, are they talking about¡­?¡± What did she think? Ariana shot her a glare. ¡°At least she¡¯s good for one thing though, right? Remember those posters from a few years back? Me ¡®n a few buddies still pull those out on some lonely nights.¡± ¡°Damn, that¡¯s disgusting!¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not proud of myself.¡± Right. That. When Ariana had first been drafted to Iree¡¯s elite squad, part of the public outcry had manifested through meticulously hand-drawn posters of Ariana in a very compromising, lewd, and demeaning position. Ariana ignored it as best she could, but the rest of Udara had had a field day. Iree ran around the entire fort in a thunderous rage, burning each poster she found and scaring several people halfway to death. Ariana was grateful, but she hadn¡¯t ever found the words to thank her. Acknowledging the situation would dredge up the humiliation of it. Too late, Ariana noticed how furious Dorothea looked. Before she could stop her the girl stood and shouted, ¡°Be quiet! Act like the adults you are and have some decorum!¡± The last thing Ariana wanted was to draw more attention to herself. ¡°Sit down!¡± she hissed. Too late. Two disdainful sneers landed on Ariana, sticky and vile. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s the spank bait herself! Did we offend you?¡± Dorothea stepped in front of Ariana protectively, stood straighter and took a breath. Any useless words she might have tossed out were stopped when Ariana seized her wrist and squeezed as hard as she could. ¡°Stop. Just stop.¡± With mixed relief and bitterness, Ariana noticed a well-dressed woman approaching them, probably the manager. The woman looked at Dorothea only. ¡°I apologize for the disturbance. I¡¯m sorry, but your¡­companion will need to leave after paying her part of the bill. You¡¯re welcome to stay, ma¡¯am. We apologize for the inconvenience.¡± So it went. Ariana turned to leave. ¡°I¡¯d prefer it if she could stay,¡± Dorothea said, quiet but firm. Idiot. Did she think sticking up for Ariana would make her look like a good person? The damage in that respect was already done. Dorothea was just embarrassing them both. Exhausted and more fed up than she had been at the start, Ariana muttered, ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± There were more important battles than the one here and now, and picking and choosing was a big part of moving through life with her sanity intact. She walked to the doorway with a rigid back, Dorothea following behind her with hunched shoulders. At the last second, however, Dorothea spun around. ¡°You two! You idiots!¡± ¡°For the love of¡­¡± Ariana seized her by the elbow but was unable to stop Dorothea from almost screaming something that surprised even her. ¡°Go fuck yourselves!¡± Well. That was certainly something. Not so concerned with impressions now that her little alliance was secured, was she? If circumstances had been different, Ariana would have laughed. ¡°Hurry up,¡± she snapped, glad to leave the place behind them. ¡°You¡¯re the idiot here! The only thing to do in a situation like that is to not let them get to you. All you did was show them how much power their words have! What were you thinking?¡± she lectured as she stormed down the street towards the meeting spot, ignoring the looks they were getting. ¡°You can¡¯t just barge in and do whatever you want without understanding anything! All you did was create more problems for me. Damn, you¡¯re so¡­so selfish and stupid!¡± she seethed. You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ But what they called you, and what they implied¡­¡± ¡°So what? Them being dipshits has nothing to do with me.¡± ¡°No one¡­¡± The barely restrained, seething anger in her voice took Ariana aback, and she glanced over her shoulder. Dorothea¡¯s teeth were gritted, and anger flashed like acid in her normally guileless doe eyes. ¡°No one has a right to your body. To use it like that.¡± Ariana led her in silence now. So she¡¯d retaliated on those grounds. But why had it sounded so personal, especially to drive her to say what she had? They¡¯d arrived at their destination now, Rhys watching them carefully and Cerid and Shark nowhere to be seen. ¡°And no matter what points you may have about who I am as a person, you don¡¯t have a right to mine either,¡± Dorothea asserted in a small but powerful voice before she stepped away from Ariana, rubbing her wrist. ¡°My life, my death, they don¡¯t belong to you, and you have no right to claim them.¡± Oh. Ariana hadn¡¯t considered that. She hadn¡¯t once thought of Dorothea as a person outside of her magic and its potential. Iree was the same; they had done what they pleased, claimed their right to Dorothea¡¯s very existence and all but sentenced her to death. Well, too late now. ¡°Rhys,¡± Ariana said quietly, ¡°I¡¯m done for the day. Take it from here.¡± Again not waiting for an answer, she swept away on her own. * After the departure of Ariana and Dorothea, Shark turned to Cerid. ¡°What now?¡± they asked, eyebrows raised. ¡°I am not sure.¡± Cerid¡¯s cheeks were rosy. ¡°Do you think Miss Dorothea will be fine?¡± ¡°Thea can handle herself, trust me.¡± She could hand out a verbal beatdown if warranted. ¡°It might be best to give them a chance to hash things out on their own,¡± Rhys suggested, and Shark was glad to find he shared their thoughts. Ariana would never warm up to Thea if Shark kept jumping in to antagonize her, much as they hated to admit it. Still¡­ ¡°I don¡¯t trust Ariana not to make her cry though.¡± Thea was just as much of a crybaby as she was weirdly tough. Rhys smiled, tossing Shark the money Iree had given the group. ¡°You two go on. I¡¯ll wait here for them. If anything happens, I¡¯ll address it.¡± Shark was too interested in getting Cerid alone to give up the chance. ¡°Marvelous idea! Come on, buddy!¡± Laughing at his blush just from being taken by the arm, they led him back towards his own house. Once on the property, they skirted to the vast orchards there. There were fruit bushes and trees of all kinds in neat rows. ¡°These are your favorite still, right?¡± They asked as they stopped before the blackberry bushes and sat facing each other. ¡°Er, yes.¡± Cerid sat in front of Shark, not moving away when Shark shifted closer so their knees were touching. ¡°Though I must admit blackberries were not my favorite until we began meeting here. Perhaps I am fonder of my memories than the fruit itself, if that makes sense to you¡­¡± He frowned. ¡°But before I ramble any further¡­ You brought me here with something to say.¡± Shark nodded. ¡°I¡¯m gonna come right out with it. Let¡¯s get back together.¡± He looked away. ¡°I thought we already discussed this.¡± ¡°Well, circumstances have changed just slightly since then,¡± Shark laughed. The past two days had been wild, to say the least. ¡°Even for you, that may be too cavalier.¡± He was smiling begrudgingly. ¡°Will you listen to what I¡¯ve thought about at least?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Thea and I decided to try thinking about things logically, and that got me reconsidering. Besides being in love with you, there are more reasons for me to stay by your side.¡± Cerid was blushing from his neck to the tips of his ears. ¡°Y-You say something like that so casually¡­¡± ¡°Well yeah, ¡®cause I love you. So here¡¯s the logical side: the more I fight, the more Ghurians I kill before they kill Sacerians, the less Thea will have to give up in using her magic. Also the more I fight, the more achievable your goals will become. I can support you. I want to.¡± Cerid¡¯s eyes were bright, but he wasn¡¯t won over just yet. ¡°Too much has happened to you and Miss Dorothea both so quickly, Shark. You can take time to think about things. Besides, you do not even know what my goals are.¡± ¡°Cerid.¡± They smoothed his hair back from his face and cradled his cheeks in both hands. ¡°Tell me everything you¡¯ve been dreaming of all this time, and we¡¯ll make it happen.¡± He clutched one hand in the other as if stopping himself from reaching out in return. ¡°When my father¡­er, promoted me the day of the epidemic, I could not believe it. But I fully realized the magnitude of it, so I asked him a question.¡± ¡°Yes¡­?¡± Shark urged. ¡°I asked him if this position could be used to change Sacer¡¯s marriage and procreation mandates. I told him that if not, I would leave Sacer even if I was the last Creed child left.¡± Shark caught their breath, an entirely different future they had missed out on unfurling its wings in their mind¡¯s eye. ¡°You would have come with me?¡± ¡°Yes. But my father made me an offer. You see, it is the threat of war with Ghuria that backs the laws. So my father told me this: ¡®I will help you forge a new way in this land, Cerid. But it will require you to dedicate yourself to one thing.¡¯¡± He paused, looking away. ¡°¡®Destroy Ghuria,¡¯ he told me, ¡®and there will be no stopping the winds of change.¡¯¡± ¡°So you stayed to fight.¡± ¡°Yes. If there is no outside threat, there is no need to build the army. If there is no need to build the army, there is no need for policies that ensure Sacerians suffer treatment like yours.¡± Cerid bowed his head. ¡°But to keep you here when you had the opportunity to build a better life for yourself? There was no need to drag you down with me. I thought¡­ I was certain at the time that it was better to push you away.¡± ¡°What about you?¡± Shark demanded. ¡°Why not leave changing the world to someone else and just be happy?¡± ¡°That someone else might never come along, and even if they did, they might not be granted the same opportunities as me. This power fell into my lap, so I am obligated to use it.¡± He drew in a shaky breath. ¡°I do not want there to be another you, Shark. So I have accepted my father¡¯s words. Nothing better has ever presented itself. Besides, there¡­ There have been so many wars. So many have died. This is for everyone just as much as it is for those directly impacted by the laws.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± Shark laughed. ¡°You¡¯re so stupid.¡± Cerid''s jaw dropped. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just talk to me? I could have been here with you the whole time, helping you. You never needed to bear this on your own.¡± ¡°I¡­ You do not hate me?¡± ¡°Of course not. Everything you¡¯ve said makes perfect sense. We have to make sacrifices to change the world. Did you think I wouldn¡¯t understand that?¡± ¡°I do not know anymore.¡± Cerid smiled even though tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. ¡°I wanted to protect you so badly that I hardly saw anything else.¡± Shark tucked his hair behind his ears. ¡°Talk to me from now on, okay?¡± Cerid hesitated one last time. ¡°Are you certain this is what you want¡­?¡± After Shark nodded, he nuzzled their palm. ¡°I missed you.¡± He sounded close to tears, so Shark spoke gently. ¡°Talk to me.¡± ¡°I have been lonely,¡± Cerid admitted in a small voice. ¡°The epidemic¡­ I had eleven siblings, Shark. Now I have none. We that remain, all of Sacer. We have all lost so much.¡± His eyes squeezed shut. ¡°I missed you.¡± Shark pulled him close. ¡°I¡¯ve got your back now. Sorry I was gone for so long.¡± ¡°I am sorry for not telling you everything long ago. I should have been honest instead of making your choices for you.¡± ¡°I get why you did what you did. But don¡¯t do it again, you hear?¡± His cheeks were red with embarrassment. ¡°I hear you. I promise.¡± His sheepish expression met Shark¡¯s amused one when they lifted his face up. ¡°We should get back soon.¡± ¡°True.¡± Shark leaned in so their noses were touching. ¡°Not ¡®til I kiss you though.¡± Cerid fought a smile, then he laughed. ¡°It is nice to see that some things have not changed. I have always admired your forwardness.¡± ¡°You used to call me incorrigible all the time.¡± ¡°Oh, you are. You very much are.¡± He closed his eyes. With gentle sweetness, they sealed the promise they had made for a new future. 12. Marigolds Devotion Rhys was good at staying calm when someone else was agitated, but it was hard to find the right words to help someone he didn¡¯t know well. After Ariana had stormed off, he was left alone with Dorothea. She had lost her home and her sense of safety. She had to feel attacked from all sides at this point, and Ariana was only making things worse even if she had a right to how she¡ªvery understandably¡ªfelt. Well, Rhys wanted to at least try to help. ¡°Care for a boring story, Dorothea?¡± he asked. She jumped as if not having expected him to speak. ¡°Um, sure.¡± ¡°One time, during the Concord¡¯s Bounty festival¡­ You¡¯ve heard of it?¡± He was under the impression that Sirpoans held both Sacerian and Ghurian festivals. In Sacer, there were five festivals throughout the year in dedication to each of the Gods. She nodded, looking curious. ¡°So you know it gets rowdy, and there¡¯s a ton of food and drink. On the day in question, some of the soldiers got so drunk they climbed onto the roof of the Creed house and started throwing eggs. They threw them at anyone who walked by, so you can imagine how many targets they had with the chapel being so close. Well, Iree and I happened to be out walking at the time, so you can imagine what happened.¡± He smiled as Dorothea let out a chuckle. ¡°I got nailed in the face, so she had the reasonable reaction of catching one of the eggs, breaking the top off, putting one of her seeds in it, and throwing it back. Exploded at least a dozen eggs right in front of them.¡± ¡°No!¡± Dorothea covered her mouth with her hands to smother a laugh. ¡°Yep. She was a little drunk too, we all were, so that just kinda kept going. And you know what? Word spread that it was just fireworks, so hardly anyone¡¯s the wiser as to what really happened to this day.¡± Dorothea was smiling with genuine amusement. ¡°I won¡¯t tell.¡± ¡°Many thanks.¡± He put his hands in his pockets, able to relax now that she seemed happier. ¡°Hey¡­¡± She looked away again. ¡°Will you pretend you didn¡¯t hear what Ariana and I were talking about?¡± It wasn¡¯t something he could just forget, but¡­ ¡°If that¡¯s what you want, sure.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± She glanced at him, then studied her feet. ¡°Where did Sharkie and Cerid go?¡± ¡°Beats me. Sorry, but we¡¯re stuck waiting here.¡± ¡°Well, the company could be worse.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a compliment.¡± She laughed. ¡°It was one.¡± There was a pause before she added, very softly, ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°What for?¡± He hadn¡¯t done anything worth noting. She laughed as if it should have been obvious. ¡°For cheering me up. I know it¡¯s hard to talk to a stranger, so¡­¡± ¡°Are we strangers?¡± ¡°Oh. Well, I suppose not at this point. I guess we¡¯re¡­¡± She looked to him to finish. ¡°Comrades,¡± Rhys supplied. ¡°Which means we¡¯ve got each other¡¯s backs, so small stuff like this is nothing to sweat.¡± ¡°Comrades.¡± She smiled, clearly pleased. ¡°Thank you. That sounds nice.¡± He wanted to let it end there on a high note, but he was just too concerned about the implications of what he¡¯d heard her say to Ariana. ¡°Dorothea, I just want you to know that¡­¡± But what could he possibly say? What did he really want to say, and why was this bothering him so much? She responded to the change in his tone, looking more guarded. ¡°Yes?¡± Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. ¡°Theaaa!¡± Shark¡¯s call made them both flinch, and the tension dissipated as the moment was lost. ¡°Oof, sorry we took a while. Did you have a good¡­¡± They frowned at her somewhat strained expression. ¡°A tolerable lunch?¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°It was nice.¡± She turned to Cerid. ¡°So¡­ Should we get settled in at the house?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± He nodded to Rhys. ¡°Captain Tamlin, I am happy to take it from here so you may address your other tasks.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll see you all later, then.¡± Part of Rhys was relieved. He found Dorothea¡¯s presence strangely oppressive, and he couldn¡¯t pinpoint why so he could confront it. No. The feeling had a name, and he knew what it was. He just wasn¡¯t brave enough to acknowledge its shadows within himself. * For having had to put things in motion so quickly, Iree felt pretty good about how everything was moving along. She and Rhys had spent a long, slow evening discussing the potential moves they might make next. Within the past minute, he¡¯d wiped his hands on his shirt twice and on his pants leg three times. That meant he was antsy and ready to leave, burnt out as introverts tended to get with so much social stimulation, so she needed to make her move immediately. Rhys was a patient, obedient person, and he was smarter than he looked. That made him the perfect person to read Iree¡¯s targets so they wouldn¡¯t even know they were being read. Rhys not even knowing what he was up to himself made it perfectly clean. His assessment of Atlin after their private tour the day she¡¯d first arrived was that she was a bit spacey and a kind girl who was fairly easy to please. Iree interpreted that differently. Atlin was amiable, naive, and easily mollified. Her responses to everything were exactly as Iree had predicted so far. Her sympathy had been elicited within moments, her anger easily used against her. The chance had landed in her lap and she¡¯d successfully seized it. Now, it was just her and Rhys. She¡¯d said a few days before that she wanted to talk to him after the contract was done with, and it technically was now that they¡¯d gotten Atlin¡¯s allegiance. So she smoothed her hair and mentally rehearsed what she wanted to say yet again. The many candles in her office had been lit to make a relaxing space good for thinking, and the ambience suited her purposes. It was mellow, serene¡­ Romantic. Because of the promise of Atlin¡¯s magic, Iree was free to fantasize about what a future without war would hold. The foremost question on her mind was this: How did Rhys Tamlin see her? She¡¯d made her interest obvious, but he barely reacted when she even went as far as to ask him what kind of lingerie she should buy. He gave everyone the same smile, the same quiet support. She was the person closest to him, but he still felt distant. He¡¯d been this way for years now, and she didn¡¯t know what had happened to drive this sudden wedge between them. ¡°Iree? Did you hear me?¡± She jumped, blushing. ¡°What? Sorry.¡± He smiled. ¡°Can I talk to you about something?¡± Iree¡¯s heart skipped a beat, and she found herself short of breath. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°It¡¯s about Dorothea.¡± Oh. ¡°What about her?¡± Iree spoke too cheerfully. She felt like an idiot, getting excited over nothing. ¡°You¡¯ll try to safeguard her life through this?¡± ¡°What, you think I won¡¯t?¡± ¡°No, I know you¡¯ll work hard as always. I didn¡¯t phrase that right.¡± He crossed his arms and smiled sheepishly. ¡°Maybe I just wanted you to reassure me.¡± ¡°Rhys, it¡¯s not like I want her to die. Of course I¡¯m going to save every life I can.¡± It was true; Iree really didn¡¯t want anything bad to happen to Atlin. It was just that Sacer¡¯s people took priority over the life of one person. He looked relieved. ¡°I admire you for that.¡± Her heart fluttered once more, and she hated it. There was no use in overanalyzing the potential meaning of every little thing. Being admired didn¡¯t mean she was loved. But the end of the war was not just attainable now, it was damn well here with Atlin behind them, and that made Iree braver than usual. ¡°Rhys?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Zeal¡¯s Web is coming up soon.¡± Of the festivals spread throughout the calendar year in dedication to the Gods, Zeal¡¯s Web was Iree¡¯s favorite. It was the favorite of all those, young and old, with ambitions or lost moments in love held close to their hearts. ¡°Oh. So it is.¡± ¡°Any plans?¡± ¡°Pending any attacks from Ghuria,¡± he said dryly, ¡°it will just be a regular day.¡± He paused, thinking. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll remember her at the chapel. Just for a little while.¡± Iree was surprised he¡¯d given voice to it. Rhys wasn¡¯t referring to a familial love here; Iree¡¯s mother had taken him in twelve years ago after Rhys¡¯ parents had died of illness, and he¡¯d been especially close to her. He¡¯d come to see Sharee Nobelis as his own mother. And Iree as a sister, which was part of what made her feelings so frustrating. She saw Rhys¡¯ hand in his pocket from time to time, petting the pin he¡¯d once given to Sharee that now served as his final memento of his foster parent. It was there now, idle as they both thought of her. Iree¡¯s hand went to the golden clover pinned to the cuff of her sleeve without thought, and the rush of emotions made the words tumble from her mouth. ¡°Rhys, I love you. How do you feel about me?¡± He froze, looking like a mouse in the sights of a swooping owl. ¡°O¡­Okay,¡± he said, words seeming to creak with painful force from his throat. ¡°Okay? What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± But anything other than a yes was clearly a no. Iree stopped herself before she could get even angrier. ¡°Leave. This discussion never happened.¡± Good for both of their sakes, he departed without another word. Yeah, Iree was stupid. But she couldn¡¯t stop wondering why it just had to be her. Why did she always feel so alone in the end? Why did everyone have to drift away no matter how hard she worked? Laughing softly and helplessly, she dropped her face into her hands. ¡°Oh, Momma¡­ I could really use the sound of your voice right about now¡­¡± 13. Nightshades Assault Five days passed by in peace, but even Dorothea knew better than to believe it would last. A sickening sense of dread settled in the bottom of her stomach when Iree and Rhys barged into the dining room where she and Shark often spent time with Cerid, Ariana often tagging along under specific orders from Iree to ¡®make nice¡¯. She set her tea down with a trembling hand as Cerid, Ariana and Shark stood with her. ¡°Izozkia, the other fort city,¡± Iree said as she stopped sprinting to grab onto Dorothea¡¯s shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s under attack; we just got the message. Bittersweet Nightshade magic is being used and the whole city¡¯s been wiped out. Atlin, please. I need you to¡ª¡± ¡°To what point in the day?¡± Dorothea interrupted, trying and failing to stay calm. ¡°Wh¡­ What will give us enough time to, to get organized before the attack starts?¡± Iree smiled tightly in an attempt at reassurance. ¡°Dawn. I need you to warn us about the magic as well as the fact that the attack starts with a diversion at the closest nearby village to the northeast. Also¡­¡± She glanced at Ariana. ¡°Her sister will be part of the forces at that village. Don¡¯t forget to tell me that, Atlin. Understand?¡± ¡°O-Okay. I mean, yes.¡± Dorothea took a step back and clasped her hands. Six hours, so six months gone, but it took less of a toll than reviving an entire Sacerian city and village would in the present timeline. In a blink, she was back in bed. All was gray and blue, gentle and dim before sunrise, and now she wished more than anything that things could stay like this. After she ran to the next room over, shook Shark awake and explained the situation in rushed babbles, all of Udara burst into activity. Dorothea and Shark were soon gathered at the fort¡¯s entrance with the rest of Iree¡¯s squad. After establishing a guard for the fort in her absence, Iree put her hands on her hips and addressed her troops. ¡°Nice work, Atlin,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°Let¡¯s not waste her effort, everyone.¡± The compliment was entirely lost on Dorothea, as she was busy being awed by the magnificent four-legged beasts that were snorting and swishing their tails about before her. ¡°Shark,¡± she breathed. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s a¡­!¡± Focusing on her amazement was the only thing that kept her from panicking. ¡°Yup. That¡¯s a horse.¡± ¡°Oh. Oh my goodness. They¡¯re so pretty!¡± She¡¯d always been asleep or too sick to go see them when tradespeople had come to Sirpo from Sacer long ago. Iree laughed. ¡°Two people per beastie. Olyen and Creed, Kingfisher and Atlin for experienced riders with novices. Rhys, with me.¡± Dorothea walked stiffly to where Ariana stood. ¡°Um¡­¡± She tried to say something to cut through the awkwardness between them, as they hadn¡¯t spoken beyond clipped superficialities since the incident in the diner, but nothing came to mind. Ariana had hauled herself up smoothly and was reaching her hand down. ¡°Hurry up.¡± Dorothea grasped her hand and was shocked to find herself lifted as if she were featherlight. ¡°Eep!¡± she squeaked, fidgeting against the feeling of the creature¡¯s immense strength beneath her. ¡°Unbelievable,¡± Ariana sighed. ¡°Sorry,¡± Dorothea mumbled. ¡°No, it¡¯s¡­¡± She let out an exasperated huff as the group started at a trot. ¡°Someone who can turn back time is afraid of falling off a horse. It¡¯s laughable.¡± ¡°I can get hurt just like any other person. Of course I get scared,¡± Dorothea said, swaying and unsure of where to put her hands as she tried to maintain the distance between their bodies she was sure Ariana would want. Not responding directly to what Dorothea had said, Ariana ordered, ¡°Stay calm and don¡¯t clamp your legs down on her sides. Hold on as tight to me as you need to.¡± Why was she being nice? Or had she just decided Dorothea wasn¡¯t worth her anger anymore? ¡°Okay¡­¡± Ariana¡¯s torso was hard and strong as she gingerly encircled it with her arms. ¡°We¡¯re gonna speed up now that everyone seems used to it. Hold tight, Olyen and Atlin,¡± Iree warned over her shoulder. ¡°Huh?¡± Dorothea cheeped before the sheer power of the acceleration almost sent her flying straight off. ¡°Waaah!¡± She howled and squeezed her arms around Ariana¡¯s midsection with all her strength. Ariana let out a hacking wheeze from surprise, and Dorothea was ready for her to turn around and throw her off herself. But a hand came up to hold her arm instead. It wasn¡¯t gentle, but it was somehow comforting. The raised flesh of the wound on Ariana¡¯s palm felt overly hot and vulnerable as its fresh scab scratched at her skin. Dorothea closed her eyes and pressed her face into Ariana¡¯s back. She slid her palm to cover the back of Ariana¡¯s hand and healed it. Ariana stiffened. ¡°Why?¡± Her voice was almost lost to the wind whistling in Dorothea¡¯s ears. She cracked open one eye to witness how the scenery blended into watercolor brushstrokes as they raced by. Sacer¡¯s lands were green and full of life, so different from the land bathed in snow she¡¯d always known. ¡°Because I wanted to,¡± she replied softly, knowing she wouldn¡¯t be heard. Just because they didn¡¯t get along didn¡¯t mean she wanted Ariana to be in pain. She wanted to be different from the person she¡¯d been before, the one who hadn¡¯t cared about how others suffered. Before she knew it, they emerged from a copse of trees to find their destination before them. Everyone else dismounted with ease, but Dorothea had to slip-fall her way down and then have Ariana hold her up until she felt steady again. Her legs were like jelly, uncooperative and wobbly. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she mumbled. Ariana sighed. Her gaze was surprisingly soft, though that was only because it was neutral whereas Dorothea had expected more of her scathing anger. ¡°Just come on.¡± She looped her arm with Dorothea¡¯s, escorting her like a knight. People were strange, Dorothea thought. The one who hated her most could also be the one she helplessly clung to without reservation, the one who let her do so without complaint. Iree wore a patient smile as they approached. She stood next to a stern-looking soldier who had come down from the watchtower. ¡°We¡¯re going to caucus on top of the fort,¡± she stated. ¡°Caucus,¡± Shark snickered, and Cerid slapped their arm. Iree smirked and shook her head. ¡°Come on, my merry band of fools.¡± Dorothea was at the back of the group as they went up the steps. As she prepared to follow the others, a tentative hand grazed her elbow, and she looked up to meet Rhys¡¯ eyes. He didn¡¯t speak, instead looking to the stairs, then to the top of the tower, then back at her. He didn¡¯t want to bring up in front of the others what had happened the last time her and heights had mixed and embarrass her, she realized. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± she whispered, smiling to ease his worry. ¡°Sorry¡­¡± Didn¡¯t they all think she was pathetic? Rhys¡¯ eyes were kind whenever he looked at her, but there had to be hatred somewhere behind that gaze. Surely there was rightful revulsion for her in all of them. Ariana had just made her feelings more clear than the others. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. He frowned and started to say something, but they were interrupted by Iree¡¯s call. ¡°Hurry up, you two! We¡¯re on urgent business here!¡± Right. This was all still her getting in the way. ¡°Sorry!¡± Dorothea called back, holding her breath and skirt and running up the stairs to emerge atop the fort. ¡°This is her, is it?¡± The Izozkia soldier motioned to a mildly panting Dorothea once they had all gathered in a circle. ¡°Your new ace. How¡­¡± She looked Dorothea over with a frown. ¡°Inspiring.¡± ¡°What did you expect?¡± Iree laughed. ¡°Anyways, the attacks are coming in the midmorning, so that gives us a little more time to reorganize and set up watchpoints along the wall¡¯s perimeter. I¡¯ll send two of my people to the village. You¡¯ll organize yours throughout the city.¡± The soldier smiled wryly. ¡°Bossy as ever, Commander Nobelis.¡± She still obeyed without question, rushing off to spread the orders. ¡°That said,¡± Iree picked up without missing a beat, ¡°Kingfisher and Olyen. Go to the village. It¡¯ll be a little less than a mile east of here. I¡¯d like you to use this opportunity to practice your teamwork. I have a gut feeling you¡¯ll make a good pair.¡± She grinned. ¡°Good luck.¡± Ariana muttered something vague and set off while Shark took Dorothea¡¯s hand and squeezed it. ¡°Take care,¡± they said. ¡°You too.¡± Shark was strong, but nothing could stop her from worrying. With Ariana and Shark gone, Iree gave more orders. Dorothea would intervene at her own discretion unless ordered by the commander or captain. Rhys would focus on subduing the Bittersweet Nightshade-user while any other enemies were kept at bay by Iree and Cerid. For now, they would wait and steel themselves. ¡°I know it¡¯s bad, but I¡¯m excited for this,¡± Iree laughed as they waited in an air sizzling with anticipation. ¡°Those rats won¡¯t know what hit them.¡± ¡°Rats?¡± Dorothea echoed. Iree said it a lot, but she didn¡¯t really understand. She waved a casual hand. ¡°It¡¯s a thing. They call us pigs, we call them rats.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Well, she could understand the kind of hatred that would make the Sacerians want to lower the Ghurians like that. She didn¡¯t exactly hold them in the highest regard herself. ¡°Do you think Ariana and Sharkie will be okay? And the village?¡± she fretted. ¡°Of course. Don¡¯t worry about them. Just focus on what¡¯s happening here.¡± Iree patted her back with unexpected gentleness. ¡°Listen. Everything will be fine.¡± Dorothea nodded, hesitant. ¡°If you say so, I¡¯ll trust you.¡± Iree smirked. ¡°Good girl.¡± Just as Dorothea thought about if those words made her feel diminutive, a strange shadow passed over Iree¡¯s head. The commander glanced up, and then her hand slammed into Dorothea¡¯s chest as she pushed her away. Dorothea hit the ground winded and, when she collected herself enough to survey the scene, saw a boy land crouched, watched his lips part slightly as he let out a breath. The shadow had been from him sailing through the air, she realized in a slow, detached thought. A pillar of ice had launched him upwards, and now death had rained down. It happened quickly. He sprinted towards Iree, Iree lifted a hand filled with spinning fire, his fingers just barely brushed the knee of her pants as she prepared to bring the flame crashing down on his head, and Iree dropped to the ground, lifeless. Her body crumpled in an awkward angle and her head smacked against stone, eyes rolled back. The enemy moved without hesitation, swooping in towards Dorothea. His hand had bunched up the front of her dress before Cerid and Rhys got the chance to do more than take a few steps. He opened his mouth to say something, but Dorothea¡¯s hands were already clasped together. Though she was too scared to even breathe, she screwed her eyes shut and turned back time. She was once again standing next to a very alive Iree, waiting for the attack to come. Iree grabbed her arm as Dorothea staggered, gasping for air in terror. ¡°What happened?¡± Iree asked urgently as Rhys and Cerid approached, concerned. ¡°B-Bittersweet Nightshade, it, he¡¯s going to come up over the wall near where we¡¯re standing. H-He just killed you like, like it was nothing, and¡­¡± Iree shivered. ¡°But we¡¯ve got him now.¡± ¡°We have about¡­thirty seconds now,¡± Dorothea breathed. ¡°Okay.¡± Iree gripped Dorothea¡¯s lower arm, reassuring her with the strength of her grip. ¡°Tell me where he lands.¡± ¡°From where you are¡­ About three feet to the left.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± Iree looked into her eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll make sure this time is different.¡± Dorothea nodded. Twenty seconds. Fifteen. Ten. Five. And¡­ ¡°Got you,¡± Iree hissed, turning a ferocious grin up to the flying attacker as flame blossomed in her palms. His eyes narrowed, and he drew something from the inside of a worn-out green jacket. He and Iree threw at the same time, and a ball of fire to the leg was traded for a blade to the shoulder. The knife had thrown off Iree¡¯s aim, but the Ghurian still landed in a thrown-off heap. Cerid leapt into action, pinning the attacker with a knee between the shoulder blades and both wrists seized to jerk the arms behind the back. The next moment, ice erupted over the top of the fort wall, spires grouped together to form a chilled prison around the Sacerians. ¡°Creed, no matter what, don¡¯t let go of that bastard!¡± Iree ordered. Two more figures entered through a slim opening at the top of the ice prison. Dorothea recognized them: one was the boy with goggles and one was a tall woman, both of whom had been at the border fight. ¡°Got yourself into some trouble, hm, Grenny?¡± the boy asked with a sly smile. Ice was spreading to coat the stones beneath them. ¡°Rhys!¡± Iree snapped. ¡°Hurry up!¡± Her captain withdrew a hand from his pocket and sighed softly. Water materialized in front of him, no, it was seized from the air, and quickly slid to coat the ice caging them all in. The water devoured the ice, assimilating it into its fold. With an almost lazy motion, Rhys sent a wave crashing down upon his opponents. Cerid jumped back to escape being locked in the spheres that engulfed the Ghurians. They writhed, helpless and alone in their own separate prisons, no air or escape. Light filtered through the water that was killing them slowly; all three seemed to have had the wherewithal to take a deep breath and hold it before being consumed, but it would only prolong the inevitable. ¡°Rhys can control any form of water he encounters, even if the magic isn¡¯t originally his,¡± Iree explained triumphantly. She grinned at Dorothea. ¡°That¡¯s what happens when we catch them instead of them catching us. Again, good work.¡± ¡°What now, Iree?¡± Rhys asked, gesturing to the suffocating Ghurians. ¡°You decide. You¡¯re the one who caught them,¡± she replied. ¡°What? But¡­ Hm.¡± Rhys looked at the three, then back at Iree helplessly. Iree heaved an exasperated sigh. ¡°You¡¯re always like this. Come on! You never had a problem going straight for the kill before, so what¡¯s the big deal now? Just make a choice, Rhys!¡± Rhys froze with something almost like fear in his eyes, and then his body was almost completely bisected, a straight crimson line forming across his stomach and tearing deep. He stumbled back one step, pushed by the force of the wind that had stricken him, before careening down limply. Dorothea shrieked and ran to him, dropping to her knees in the pool of blood around him. It coated her skin through her clothes, hot and sticky, and sour bile shot up in her throat. ¡°Rhys,¡± she croaked after swallowing it back down, putting her hands to his cheeks. ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay.¡± She looked at Cerid¡¯s back as he stood between her and the enemy with his fists raised, and Iree came to his side tossing fireballs between her hands. After his organs and flesh reconnected, Rhys came back to life with a gasp. He stared into her eyes as his color returned, labored breaths calming as he processed what had happened. His hand wrapped around hers and squeezed it in thanks, perhaps reassurance as well, before he leaped to his feet. ¡°Stay behind me,¡± he ordered. Dorothea let out a shaky breath and stood, taking a few steps back. The Ghurians were all standing now too, albeit still wobbly from Rhys¡¯ trap. ¡°Augh, I hate this,¡± Goggles Boy was declaring in the middle of a cough. ¡°Healing certainly is a pain to deal with.¡± The tall woman looked at Dorothea as she wrung out her dress. ¡°But it works through touch. So all we have to do is cut her arms off, no?¡± Dorothea shivered. They were all terrifying, these Ghurians. ¡°Wesley, Johanna, calm down,¡± the Bittersweet Nightshade user said tonelessly. He dragged long dark hair out of his face and shook his head, scattering water droplets all about. ¡°Same orders as before. Leave her alive at all costs.¡± Goggles Boy, or Wesley as he¡¯d just been called, grinned from ear to ear. ¡°I¡¯d hoped to keep it a secret for a bit longer, but I guess I may as well go all out.¡± Only now did it register for Dorothea that the wind that had killed Rhys moments ago had come from this creep of a boy, but he¡¯d already been shown to use ice magic¡­ Her blood chilled. Most magics were passed down through inheritance with clear dominant and recessive traits, but there was a miniscule chance of inheriting two magics. Like that, the fight had just become twice as dangerous. Iree knew it too. ¡°Rhys¡ª¡± There was desperation in her eyes as she looked back at him, and it was the scariest thing Dorothea had seen yet. She cut off with a sharp curse as the tall Ghurian woman¡ªcalled Johanna, apparently¡ªsuddenly withdrew a blowgun from the pocket of her dress. There was a needle sticking out of Iree¡¯s arm now. ¡°Fuck!¡± She plucked it out and threw it to the ground. ¡°Creed, cover us!¡± He narrowed his eyes and widened his stance. ¡°Ma¡¯am.¡± ¡°It¡¯s thirty seconds, Iree,¡± Rhys said quietly. ¡°We can hold out that long.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking talk to me,¡± she snarled. ¡°If you¡¯d acted, we wouldn¡¯t be in this mess!¡± He flinched, making no move to deny it. Instead he spoke to Dorothea in the same quiet, resigned way. ¡°That needle is coated in something that nullifies magic. Iree will be out of commission for half a minute.¡± It didn¡¯t sound so bad, but¡­ As Dorothea soon learned, a lot could happen in thirty seconds on the battlefield. 14. Primroses Despair As she and Shark made their way towards the village, it struck Ariana how strange it was that she was even alive. The Bittersweet Nightshade epidemic had swept through Ghuria ruthlessly, cutting its population down to a third and ruining most of its fertile lands. Then Sacer had declared war, retaliating to what they saw as an unprompted and monstrous attack. Ariana didn¡¯t know herself what had happened on the Ghurian side, but it didn¡¯t change where they were now. She only stayed as long as she did because of her sister. With their parents lost there had been no one else to take care of her, and it was everyone for themselves in Ghuria at that point. It all spelled doom. And then that night, the one Ariana could pinpoint as the one that changed her entire life. They came through the village the Kingfisher sisters lived in, citizens from Ghuria¡¯s outer reaches driven to the brink of starvation. They begged for resources that simply weren¡¯t there. One collapsed right in front of Ariana on the street, twitching and moaning into death despite the protests of the wife and son kneeling beside him. He had whispered their names, Ingrid and Wesley, in apology as his last words. Her sister had shrieked and hid behind her while Ariana stared, transfixed. The emaciated form, those who continued trudging ahead of it. A pathetic, helpless death. Ghuria was a dead, doomed land, and its people could only wait to succumb. But Ariana saw another way out. She could either lay down like a dog or take fate into her own hands. She would betray everything to survive¡ªshe would join the winning side. Iree Nobelis welcomed her to Sacer with open arms. Once Ariana displayed she had no qualms about killing other Ghurians and was damn good at it, she was by Iree¡¯s side constantly. Ariana became the commander¡¯s left hand for her seedier enterprises, Rhys being her right for the public face. It wasn¡¯t that she felt grateful, but she was indebted in a way. All the bullshit she got as a former Ghurian in Sacer and Iree smiled at her, clapped her on the back the same way she did everyone else, burned those damn posters and got mad for her sake. She¡¯d left everything behind, earning her the hatred of her people, her sister, her parents¡¯ ghosts, but hey. At least weirdo Iree was there. Ariana had shown her dedication as a tool for killing and earned Iree¡¯s trust. Now she was complicit in Sirpo¡¯s destruction, in whatever it was Iree had planned to make sure Ghuria met the same fate. Ariana didn¡¯t care what it was so long as Iree kept her promise. The words she¡¯d said to the commander about four and a half years back echoed in her heart constantly. Let me be the one to kill her. My sister. Ariana owed her kin that much. The Sacerians meant to slaughter every single Ghurian. If Ariana couldn¡¯t bring her sister over to her side, she¡¯d kill her mercifully to prevent deeper suffering. That was her responsibility and her oath. All of this came back to her now, when she¡¯d been guaranteed to come face-to-face with her. So today was the day. This would be the end of it. Once they got close enough to survey the scene at the village, Ariana instantly knew something was off. There was total silence, all doors and shutters locked tight. The reason quickly became clear. There was a fountain in the center of the village, surrounded by clusters of small pink and yellow flowers. A woman sat on the edge of it, a sheathed sword resting across her lap. Clearly, she¡¯d been waiting. ¡°Pearlie¡­¡± Ariana breathed. ¡°Just one chick?¡± Shark said. ¡°Okay then¡­¡± Pearlie Kingfisher stood and smoothed her skirt. She dressed the same way she used to, sensibly and almost dully, in a muted green turtleneck dress, cream cable knit sweater, worn boots and thick, tall socks. ¡°I figured it would be you. Your new ally would be sure to warn you I¡¯d be here, wouldn¡¯t she?¡± she said evenly. ¡°You¡­have the same eyes,¡± Shark realized aloud. ¡°I knew I''d seen them somewhere before.¡± ¡°Shut your mouth.¡± Ariana didn¡¯t feel anything because she chose not to. Pearlie smiled. ¡°I haven¡¯t given up on you, Ana. As long as we¡¯re still standing, it¡¯s not too late.¡± She reached out her hand. ¡°Please, it¡¯s okay. Come home.¡± ¡°Stand back, Shark,¡± Ariana ordered coldly. ¡°She¡¯s mine.¡± Pearlie smiled a sad smile. ¡°I missed you too, big sister.¡± ¡°Any regrets left?¡± Ariana asked, unsheathing blades from both hands. Pearlie¡¯s hand flew to the hilt of her sword, but she hesitated to draw it. ¡°Why are you doing this? Did you really forget everything our parents taught us about right and wrong? About honor, defending Ghuria and our loved ones?¡± The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. Fat lot of good those ideals had done for anyone. Their parents had long since rotted in Ghuria¡¯s dead soil. ¡°If you really believe that bullshit means anything, you¡¯ve only got yourself to blame!¡± Ariana retorted as she flew forward. Pearlie seemed frozen but countered the strike at the last second. ¡°Please, we can talk this through!¡± She struggled not to buckle against Ariana¡¯s strength. ¡°Come on, call your animals!¡± Ariana snapped. ¡°Have them do your fighting for you if you¡¯re too weak to stand against me!¡± ¡°I won¡¯t¡­!¡± Pearlie staggered but stayed on her feet. ¡°Put them in danger again!¡± Ariana leaned into the attack with her shoulder to press with more weight so Pearlie wouldn¡¯t be able to move quickly enough to avoid a fist into her jaw. She was sent sprawling to the ground, and Ariana bent to have the tip of her blade pricking her neck. ¡°Why¡­? Why did you betray us?! Why do you want to kill me?!¡± Pearlie shuddered as tears overtook her. Strangely enough, she didn¡¯t look afraid in the face of death. All that displayed itself was a deep sadness. ¡°Why did you leave me alone when I needed you most?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve already explained my reasons long before now.¡± The moment was here. All she had to do was flick her wrist and it would be over. Just a tiny movement¡­ Why wouldn¡¯t her arm move? That hesitation was enough of an opening. Pearlie flipped her dress up, revealing a knife strapped to her calve. She drove the blade into Ariana¡¯s foot, pinning her in place while she scrambled backwards and to her feet. ¡°Fine. I accept your determination,¡± she said quietly, leveling her sword at Ariana¡¯s chest. ¡°And I¡¯m just as determined as you are. You¡¯re coming back home even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming!¡± Ariana scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re ignoring reality. Winners decide the history! Ghuria¡¯s going to lose this war, and I¡¯m going to be on the winning side. It¡¯s a simple matter of self-preservation. If you had any sense, you¡¯d walk away with me right now.¡± Despite herself, there was a spark of hope within Ariana that her sister would join her now. ¡°I¡¯m a Ghurian through and through. All the centuries we¡¯ve been stepped on by Sacer¡­¡± Pearlie smiled. ¡°I¡¯d rather die than fade into a land like that the way you¡¯ve chosen.¡± ¡°Then there¡¯s nothing else to say.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the opposite, Ana.¡± Pearlie moved in a flash, aiming to sever Ariana¡¯s right arm at the elbow. Just as Ariana moved to dive out of the way, ripping the knife that pinned her foot from the ground in the process, a pillar of earth slammed into the side of Pearlie¡¯s head. As she stumbled from the impact, a stupidly stunned look on her face, a second pillar emerged from her left side. Her head was trapped between them, and they advanced until her skull was crushed in a great gushing of pulp. Ariana stared at the corpse as it crumpled down. So just like that, her sister was dead. The soft blue bubble of her afro was dyed red. She¡¯d used to hate it when Ariana had combed her hair at night, teaching her how to properly care for it¡­ A great tide of emotion reared up in her chest, and an odd, strangled gasp sounded from somewhere. No, from her. It came from her. As Shark approached and hoisted her onto their back, her knees hooked over their arms, she snapped, ¡°Why the fuck did you do that?!¡± ¡°Oh, so you wanted me to sit there and watch you get maimed?¡± ¡°She was mine. Did I not make that clear?¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah, so you¡¯ve got some family issues. Don¡¯t we all. All that matters is you¡¯re okay.¡± It was supposed to be her. That had been the only way to close the chapter. ¡°It was supposed to¡­¡± She hit Shark¡¯s back. ¡°Let me down! I swear I¡¯ll¡ª¡± In retaliation they jumped up and down, flailing her about until she stopped yelling. ¡°Just suck it up and let me help you.¡± They smiled as she put her arms over their shoulders. ¡°Besides, it¡¯s not as if you really wanted to kill her.¡± ¡°What exactly makes you think that?¡± Ariana snapped. ¡°¡®Cause she¡¯d¡¯ve been dead and you wouldn¡¯t have needed my help in the first place.¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± They were right. Her resolve had vanished upon seeing her sister¡¯s face. But staying in Ghuria had been a death sentence, there was no other choice! Shark sighed, adjusting so Ariana could be more comfortable. ¡°I¡¯ll get you to Thea and we can get your foot healed up.¡± Ariana scowled but let herself be hauled along. Dorothea had healed her hand earlier. She¡¯d wanted to say thank you, to apologize for dehumanizing her, but there was no way she could say that sincerely while still hiding what she¡¯d helped do to Sirpo. What was she supposed to think about anything anymore, really? Ever since the epidemic, no, even long before that, the world had been so twisted. Everyone hated each other at the end of the day, such an all-consuming hate, and that continuously led them to war. What was she supposed to do in a world like that, one with so little hope? ¡°I¡¯m a little confused though,¡± Shark commented. ¡°Shocking.¡± ¡°You brat,¡± they laughed. ¡°I mean it. It was important enough for Thea to warn us about what was going on at the village, but there was only one person and no casualties. Earlier, Iree said there¡¯d be forces plural here, right?¡± ¡°Pearlie¡­¡± What a piece of shit she was to think she still had a right to say her name. ¡°That woman said it herself. The Ghurians were prepared to change their strategy if they knew Dorothea had joined the Sacerians.¡± She sat up straighter. ¡°They would have paid attention to whether we were present at the fort and if conditions had changed before splitting their forces.¡± ¡°So we can assume there are more soldiers on their side at the fort right now than there were the first time around.¡± ¡°We need to get back to the others.¡± ¡°Hold on tight!¡± Shark launched into a sprint, and she gripped the front of their shirt to steady herself. Just because her personal mission had ended didn¡¯t mean the fight was over. She had to keep moving forward either way. 15. Nightshades Consideration Once again, Dorothea didn¡¯t have proper words to describe the things she¡¯d witnessed. The human body, once torn apart, was so small. A person¡¯s life was small and delicate. Her allies were dead around her, their bodies shredded apart by ice and wind. In most redos, they were all killed by him. Bittersweet Nightshade¡­ There was just no stopping a magic that killed with the slightest touch, not with his allies giving him so many openings and so much mobility. How many times had she reversed the events trying to make a different outcome by now? Ten, fifteen? No, more. ¡°We really can¡¯t kill her?¡± Wesley asked, bending over Dorothea with a smirk as she knelt on the stones of the fort wall, immobile with fear. ¡°You may not,¡± the Bittersweet Nightshade-user replied flatly. ¡°She¡¯s the biggest threat to us right now,¡± the tall woman, Johanna, reasoned. She sighed as he looked at her, lifting her hands in surrender. Just a look with those dark eyes, deep and black and empty in his expressionless face, was enough to freeze hearts. But Johanna only shrugged, collecting the needles she had pierced Iree, Rhys and Cerid with to help kill them. ¡°Well, as long as your orders don¡¯t put Pearlie in danger, I have no problem.¡± ¡°You¡¯re such a good wifey,¡± Wesley cackled. Dorothea¡¯s heart was beating so hard, resounding in her skull, that she could barely make out their words. What else did she need to do? What variable was she missing? The amount of small changes she could try to make had her head spinning. But it all came down to one obvious thing: Rhys wasn''t willing to fight. He always assisted Iree and Cerid from the back but never went for the kill despite being the one most suited for it. Petrified, Dorothea could only watch as the Bittersweet Nightshade-user crouched in front of her. She could barely breathe, much less decide what to do next. Her hands came together, but her body was ahead of her stalled mind and weak will. He spoke quietly. ¡°I won¡¯t hurt you. Will you listen to what I have to say?¡± He took a breath. ¡°My name is Gren Fall. The event you Sacerians call the epidemic originated with me.¡± ¡°You¡­?¡± For there to be a survivor of that line at all was an atrocity, but for that same person to be the one who had killed so many in the first place? It was twisted, beyond twisted. The person who had driven her mother to her death was right in front of her! A dark, poisonous and devouring anger she¡¯d never felt so deeply took hold of her in an instant, and she slapped him across the face as hard as she could. ¡°Why should I listen to someone like you, who¡¯s taken so much from me!¡± He was the shadow of death itself. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t even exist,¡± she hissed. His expression didn¡¯t change; his face had barely turned in response to her blow. ¡°I won¡¯t deny responsibility. However, what I came to say is this.¡± He leaned closer, capturing her gaze. ¡°We did not destroy your home. Ghuria had no involvement in that incident.¡± ¡°How can I believe that after today? If I hadn¡¯t stopped you, the whole fort would be destroyed!¡± ¡°Would I have been able to get anyone¡¯s attention using other means? You wanted me to send a letter requesting an audience over tea, perhaps? Sacerians tend to kill first and ask questions later. If we want to survive, we have to do the same.¡± Would time even be able to stop this monster? ¡°Why am I alive?¡± she whispered. Her body should have been going cold next to the others by now. ¡°Please. Just consider what I¡¯ve said. If you tell me you¡¯re willing to do that, then we¡¯ll walk away.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand. I don¡¯t understand, I don¡¯t, I¡­¡± ¡°You don¡¯t understand what?¡± His tone not once changing somehow made his words more fearsome. She was sinking. Those shadowy eyes were drowning her. ¡°How¡­ How can you do these terrible things and still say you¡¯ll take responsibility for your actions? That doesn¡¯t change the fact that you did something terrible! Just because you know it¡¯s wrong but do it anyway? That¡¯s just feeling sorry for yourself!¡± ¡°Are you any different?¡± Dorothea froze, forgetting to breathe for a few moments. What? Was he comparing her to him? He, who had killed so many, was trying to turn her words against her? As he shifted, long black bangs slipped across his face and made shadows dance through his eyes. ¡°As long as they believe their cause is just, people can excuse any level of hurt they choose to place on someone else. Even if their victims express their pain and beg for mercy, it doesn¡¯t matter. Do you know why?¡± ¡°No¡­¡± Her response was dragged out of her, compelled by the force of his presence. ¡°It¡¯s because the perpetrators have already decided that their cause removes the rights of those they intend to make victims of. No matter what justice you choose to dress your actions in, this much stands.¡± She couldn¡¯t move. She couldn¡¯t react or retort through her terror and confusion. ¡°That¡¯s why we¡¯ve taken these measures,¡± he continued. ¡°Expressing our pain does nothing. Offering mercy isn¡¯t an option in the minds of the people set on destroying us. If we can¡¯t rise above the way of the world, we sink into it. That¡¯s the only way we have to protect what little we have left.¡± He leaned closer still, and she caught the citrusy odor of pine mixing with the sharpness of blood that stained him. ¡°No¡­!¡± She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to escape in what useless ways she could. But the loss of her sight only made his words ring in her ears more harshly, let them wrap around her to bind. ¡°Those thoughts have occurred to you, right? My home and family were taken, so it¡¯s only right that I do this. I know innocent people will get caught in the crossfire, but this is for the greater good. If I can protect what¡¯s important to me, it''s just. Thoughts like that mean you¡¯re just pretending to be a martyr and hiding behind excuses. Your only justice is self-pity.¡± Self-defensive anger bubbled up weakly in her, but what was there to say? He¡¯d taken the words straight from her mind and heart. This whole time she¡¯d been concerned with her own plight. Sacer¡¯s too, but in the midst of all that she hadn¡¯t bothered to consider the humanity of those she¡¯d chosen to call her enemy. Even if it had crossed her mind, she¡¯d comforted herself by finding ways to dismiss it. ¡°Are you afraid of seeing us as human?¡± Gren Fall asked. ¡°Are you afraid of what that will do to the version of reality you¡¯ve become comfortable enough to accept and what you¡¯ll have to face as a result?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not¡­!¡± ¡°Then show me.¡± His hand wrapped around hers, and she let out a small, animal noise of fear. He turned her palm up and placed a bloody knife in her hand, wrapping her fingers around the hilt. ¡°Don¡¯t stop at slapping me. If you believe so strongly in what you¡¯ve decided, then slit my throat or drive this knife into my heart. Commit to your justice.¡± He closed his eyes, body relaxing as he gave himself over to her will. ¡°Wait a minute, Gren!¡± Wesley protested, but Gren shook his head, staving his allies off as he waited for Dorothea¡¯s answer. ¡°I can¡¯t!¡± Dorothea dropped the knife as if it burned her skin and hugged herself as tears fell from her eyes once more. Her world had been a childish one. The ability to ignore the harshness of the world was a privilege, and only an ignorant child didn¡¯t realize that. That hadn¡¯t changed; she hadn¡¯t changed at all. Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. Gren straightened and trapped her in his clear, steady gaze again. ¡°There are those whose convictions really do let them make any excuses they have to in order to get what they want while maintaining their peace of mind. It lets them create a justice for themselves that¡¯s willing to destroy whatever gets in the way, no matter who or what it is. You don¡¯t have those kinds of convictions.¡± He paused. ¡°And I¡¯m glad to see that.¡± His eyes were a dark, liquid brown, not black, Dorothea realized with a jolt. Why had she thought they were black? Had her vision really been that clouded? ¡°I still don¡¯t understand,¡± she said, dazed. ¡°If all that¡¯s true about me, then why let me live?¡± ¡°Even someone like me wants to avoid killing now and then.¡± Dorothea almost laughed at how surreal the situation was. Yes, people were strange. They could change so quickly, moving towards violence and then away from it, forgetting humanity and justice or twisting it all for their own means. She had been foolish and weak to fall into the trap of her own emotions so easily. Someone like him, she¡¯d said. But she had no idea who he really was, did she? She didn¡¯t understand any of them. She knew absolutely nothing despite committing herself to war. ¡°Okay,¡± she said, voice barely there. Without fear and anger to keep herself going, she¡¯d completely lost traction. Even if she wanted to stand, she wouldn¡¯t be able to. ¡°Okay what?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll consider what you said.¡± He nodded and stood, gesturing to his companions to signal their impending exit. ¡°Gren.¡± Johanna stopped him as he turned away. ¡°This is still a victory, and circumstances still are what they are. We can¡¯t leave empty handed.¡± He paused before nodding. ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± He turned back to Dorothea. ¡°When you bring your allies back to life, tell them to vacate the entire fort and the nearby villages. No one else has to get hurt, but they need to leave with nothing but the clothes on their backs. If not¡­¡± Wesley grinned. ¡°Then pretty morals be damned, we¡¯ll do what we have to.¡± Dorothea swallowed hard. ¡°Okay.¡± She watched the Ghurians leave before crawling to Rhys, then Cerid, then Iree. They returned to life with huge gulps of air after her magic sewed their bodies back together from the inside out. ¡°You are safe,¡± Cerid breathed with relief, letting her lean on him so she could stand. ¡°Thank the Gods. But if I may ask¡­¡± He and Iree shared a glance before the commander turned a glare on her captain. Rhys didn¡¯t look back at her. ¡°What happened?¡± he asked quietly. There were some things that wouldn''t be smart for her to explain, Dorothea knew. ¡°I talked them down,¡± she lied. More like she¡¯d been the one torn apart by Gren¡¯s words. ¡°Once they understood that the fight would never end as long as I was going to use my magic, they had no choice but to leave.¡± ¡°You did well.¡± Cerid spoke gently but with regret. ¡°I am sorry we failed to protect you.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± If Gren Fall sincerely wanted her head, he¡¯d have it by now. Seemed she wasn¡¯t the failsafe solution Iree had fancied her to be. ¡°That¡¯s not all. They said they¡¯ll come back and destroy it all if we don¡¯t surrender the fort and surrounding villages. Nobody gets hurt if they leave everything they own behind.¡± Iree¡¯s hands went to her hips. ¡°Guess there¡¯s no choice. We got our asses kicked. Damn it all¡­¡± Dorothea took a step towards her. ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening on Sharkie and Ariana¡¯s end. Iree, can I go¡­¡± She spun around to look out over the wall when, as if summoned, the familiar voice reached her. ¡°Theaaa!¡± Shark was screeching while running at full speed, Ariana clinging to them while perched on their back. ¡°Sharkie!¡± She dashed to ground level, almost hurling herself down the stairs in the process. ¡°You¡¯re okay! But Ariana¡­¡± She laid her hand against the swordswoman¡¯s arm to heal her after noticing her injury. Once she was able to stand on her own, Ariana wrenched away from Shark. ¡°Things went well on our end,¡± she said, addressing Iree, who had approached with Cerid and Rhys. ¡°No casualties to the village, one on the enemy side.¡± ¡°Good. At least one thing went well today,¡± Iree sighed. Dorothea swallowed past a lump in her throat. Gren Fall¡¯s claims had some horrible implications. If the Ghurians hadn¡¯t destroyed Sirpo, then Iree had lied. If she¡¯d lied, then¡­ For now, she had to stay calm. ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± Shark was incredulous. ¡°They didn¡¯t like, explode the entire city while we were gone? Then what was the point of dividing their forces so unevenly?¡± Ariana was frowning in thought. ¡°Who knows?¡± She met Dorothea¡¯s eyes for a moment before looking away and crossing her arms. ¡°Is that all that happened, Olyen?¡± Iree asked. ¡°Nothing else out of the ordinary?¡± ¡°Yeah, we just killed¡­¡± Ariana scowled under Shark¡¯s pitying gaze. ¡°It¡¯s over now,¡± is all she said. Iree looked sympathetic and opened her mouth to reply, but Dorothea spoke first. ¡°Take me to her body, please.¡± ¡°Atlin?¡± Iree questioned her with a frown. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but reviving the dead on that side was also part of the terms of their surrender,¡± she lied. One of the Ghurians had probably already gone back to get their ally by now, and they wouldn¡¯t like what they saw. She wanted to nip that trouble in the bud and show a sign of good faith. ¡°We¡¯re really having to roll over and show our bellies here,¡± Iree muttered. ¡°Let¡¯s get started with the evacuation, everyone. Rhy¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go with Dorothea,¡± Rhys said. ¡°We¡¯ll take care of informing and gathering the villages in that direction.¡± He¡¯d loosely taken Dorothea¡¯s arm and pulled her away before anyone could protest. How was he feeling right now? She couldn¡¯t read him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ For betraying the faith you all had placed in me.¡± The apology felt empty since her loyalties were now so confused. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. None of this is your fault. Are you okay, though? You¡¯re bleeding.¡± Her nose had started bleeding a while ago, but she¡¯d forgotten about it in the midst of everything else. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± She paused. Why hadn¡¯t he ended the battle when he¡¯d had the opportunity? ¡°Rhys¡­ Have you ever felt that sort of hesitation before? I-I mean, isn¡¯t it normal for the weight of death to be so heavy? So if it hurts you¡­ If you lose yourself in it, that¡¯s understandable.¡± ¡°Our job isn¡¯t to feel the weight, it¡¯s to protect what needs protecting. If we don¡¯t kill them, they¡¯ll kill us. That¡¯s all.¡± The way he said it was so rote. ¡°Then why are we still alive?¡± Dorothea asked. ¡°Dorothea.¡± Rhys jerked to a stop and turned to face her. ¡°Don¡¯t ever say words like this to anyone else. Treason is a very serious charge.¡± ¡°Treason?¡± she echoed, flabbergasted. ¡°Does this conversation really warrant a term like that?¡± He looked at her apologetically. ¡°No. I don¡¯t know. Listen. Today¡¯s battle is just one in a long line. So many, too many, have died, and we have to keep going. That we¡¯re all human doesn¡¯t change a single thing.¡± ¡°But can¡¯t it?¡± Dorothea said weakly. He smiled like she was a naive child, but it was also a pained, wistful expression. ¡°Come on.¡± They arrived at the village, where people were peeking out from dark houses at the crushed corpse of the enemy. As Rhys stopped to explain what had to happen next, Dorothea approached the inert mass. ¡°Whoa!¡± she cried out when, upon being returned to life, the girl immediately put a knife to her throat. She¡¯d had quite enough of knives for the day. ¡°I-I have a message for Gren Fall¡­!¡± she squeaked, lifting her arms in surrender while Rhys¡¯ footsteps sounded quickly from behind. ¡°We¡¯ve ended the day with a truce¡­!¡± ¡°Oh!¡± The girl leaped to her feet and skittered back a few steps. ¡°Er¡­¡± Feeling pretty much as lost as the girl looked, Dorothea said quickly, ¡°Would you tell him something for me? Please?¡± The girl eyed her warily. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Please tell him that I¡¯ll return his kindness as best I can.¡± She was sorry she didn¡¯t have anything better to offer, but his words that day could just be manipulation. Just like how she had been so thoroughly manipulated by Iree and likely others if he was being honest. She needed to determine the truth and then see what, it might change. ¡°Very well.¡± The Ghurian looked over her shoulder, and Dorothea noticed a familiar willowy silhouette peeking out past the treeline. ¡°Jojo¡­¡± She cut one last look at Dorothea and Rhys before running off to her companion. ¡°Dorothea¡­¡± Rhys crouched next to her and looked her in the eyes. ¡°What was that?¡± She smiled with a demented sense of giddiness, feeling like the world was falling apart around her. ¡°I don¡¯t know! But I¡¯d like to think I can trust you not to tell Iree about it.¡± She didn¡¯t have good reason besides Rhys¡¯ hesitancy to kill and how nice he¡¯d been to have him in her confidence, but even so. After the day¡¯s events, she desperately wanted to believe in trust and transparency. He hesitated before nodding. ¡°You can.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± She laughed, and he looked at her strangely. Yes, to be laughing after all this was probably crazy. ¡°Sorry, I just¡­ I¡¯m too naive to make it in this world, I think. So, rather than be swayed by anyone else¡¯s words, I think I have try to figure things out in my own stupidly naive way.¡± His eyes widened, emotions she didn¡¯t understand clashing there. ¡°We¡­¡± His voice came out strained, and he cleared his throat. ¡°We should get back to work.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± She didn¡¯t know why, but the world seemed brighter now. Maybe it was best in the end to follow what trails of her conscience she could find in the madness. Could she protect the things she wanted without losing her heart? Could she find a better solution even if the danger to herself became greater in the process? Is that what you thought back then? Mother? 16. Clematis Truth The moment they got back to Udara, the refugees from Izozkia¡¯s domain being placed in temporary homes by all other available soldiers, Iree¡¯s elite squad gathered atop the fort wall for a dressing down. Though Rhys knew what was coming, that didn¡¯t stop him from feeling like he was going to throw up. Iree¡¯s gaze tore him to shreds. ¡°Anything to say for yourself?¡± He only shook his head and continued to stare at the ground. What was he supposed to say? The things it had taken Dorothea a single week of acquaintanceship to realize about him were completely unforgivable in his world, and he doubted even Iree would understand. Iree closed her eyes in a moment of regret. ¡°Then you¡¯re no longer my captain. Creed, consider yourself promoted.¡± Cerid looked agitated, but Iree continued before he could protest. ¡°Last chance for anyone else to bow out.¡± Iree swept her gaze over them, waiting. ¡°I¡¯m serious. Killing or being killed is the way of our world. You all understand?¡± One last pause was met only with silence. ¡°Good. Now, Rhys. With me.¡± She stalked off without waiting. He felt everyone¡¯s eyes on him, particularly Dorothea¡¯s, but slouched off without looking back at anyone. Each footstep required immense effort. The weight that was always somehow on his shoulders, some dark, amorphous thing, was especially heavy lately and today in particular. Once he caught up to Iree, his miserable sense of apprehension only intensified. If she were storming off or yelling at him, he¡¯d know how to deal with her. Her anger was most ferocious when it was a quiet flame. He couldn¡¯t take it anymore. ¡°Iree. Please talk to me.¡± She closed the door to her office and took a deep breath. With slow, smooth movements, she slipped behind her desk and rummaged around until she withdrew two small glasses and a bottle of vodka. After pouring them both a drink filled to the brim, she gestured for Rhys to come fetch his while she dragged him a chair over so they could sit beside one another. Iree nursed her drink for several minutes, draining the glass and pouring herself another before she spoke. ¡°What happened today?¡± Rhys took a sip to stall his answer. ¡°We lost,¡± he murmured, swallowing a cough. ¡°You had them. You had them!¡± Iree¡¯s fist smacked the table, sending a stack of papers that had been perching on the edge fluttering to the floor. ¡°I¡¯m going to get my ass handed to me by the council for this. Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my credibility? And you know what people say about Ariana every time our team takes the smallest loss. Were you thinking of anyone other than yourself today?¡± Yes, but it didn¡¯t matter. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Iree.¡± She didn¡¯t act like she¡¯d heard him. ¡°Atlin gave us the perfect chance to get the drop on them! You want her to waste her life on your mistakes, huh?¡± Worse than any fear, guilt sent searing and freezing waves through him. ¡°She shouldn¡¯t even be here, Iree,¡± he snapped. ¡°She¡¯s a civilian.¡± Iree laughed. ¡°So what? You know where we¡¯d be without her? We¡¯d be dead. I died today! You died too, multiple times through your own stupid fault! You¡¯re gonna sit here trying to tell me she¡¯s not essential? Really? Meeting Bittersweet Nightshade on the battlefield for this first time since the start of the war changes everything, and Atlin was the only barrier between us and total defeat.¡± Iree was right from a tactical perspective, but meek protests still wormed out of him. ¡°Dorothea is just¡­ She¡¯s just a girl.¡± ¡°Just a girl?¡± Iree laughed. ¡°I was just a girl and you were just a boy when we first learned to take lives.¡± Rhys couldn¡¯t think of a good reply. He¡¯d made mistake after mistake and was going to pay for it now. After an extended silence, Iree sighed. ¡°Look. I know it¡¯s hard. Especially since¡­since we lost Mom.¡± She smiled hopefully after putting her hand on his cheek to make him look at her. ¡°But we¡¯ve got to be strong, and we¡¯ve got to get our hands even dirtier if we want to fulfill the promise we made.¡± Her smile faltered. ¡°Please tell me you haven¡¯t forgotten that.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t,¡± Rhys whispered. ¡°Then tell me. What was our promise?¡± ¡°To honor Mom and create a world free from war.¡± It felt like he was reciting words that didn¡¯t belong to him anymore. ¡°And we both know what has to happen to make that a reality. For our people, for all we¡¯ve lost¡­ For Mom. We can¡¯t stop. Please, Rhys. I need you to keep fighting.¡± He wanted to find strength in her words, but he was just so numb. ¡°Iree,¡± he began hoarsely, and she had to lean closer to hear him. ¡°Is this what she would have wanted?¡± She jerked away. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if she¡¯d be proud of the people we are now. I don¡¯t know if we¡¯re doing the right thing anymore, and I don¡¯t know if this is what she would have wanted. I mean, we can¡¯t even know that¡­she¡¯s gone. Does it really matter what she would have wanted in the end?" ¡°Rhys¡­¡± That one word, soft and high-pitched, was laden with endless hurt, and it gutted him. Iree gritted her teeth, trying to stop the tears that perched on her lashes. ¡°Get out,¡± she whispered. Part of him wanted to beg for forgiveness before leaving, but he didn¡¯t even have the will to grovel. It was his fault for always pretending that nothing was changing or going wrong. He¡¯d been slipping for years now but had never been willing to admit it. Lost as he was, his feet took him to the place he found best for thinking. The chapel was peaceful even when crowded, so he¡¯d come to like it. Once there, he moved by force of habit to the deserted back row. He didn''t like having his back to anyone. His eyes were caught by a flash of color, highlighted by the ample candlelight. Sconce after sconce, black iron with thin strings of clear crystals entwined in their swirling designs, held white candles, all of which were lit by a dedicated worker each night. But the color, the gray hair he¡¯d spotted, some of it caught that light, and it burned silvery and strange. There, in the seats closest to the Gods, was Dorothea. You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. Only when he was already walking closer did it occur to him that he could pretend not to have noticed her and leave to avoid interaction. Going home to wrap himself in solitude seemed like a wonderful idea, so he started to creep backwards. Too late¡ªshe turned at the sound of his footsteps. ¡°Rhys,¡± she said, smiling. ¡°Hi.¡± She paused. ¡°If you want to sit here, that¡­um, would be fine with me. It¡¯s okay if not though.¡± He didn¡¯t have the will to get out of the situation, and her awkwardness calmed him down a bit. He asked as he lowered himself, ¡°Why are you here?¡± ¡°I wanted a quiet place to think and pray.¡± Her smile got gentler. ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t feel like going home yet.¡± She nodded. ¡°Too tired to do much but too anxious to rest.¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± It hit Rhys suddenly how unpleasant he was finding the interaction. He felt unnerved, off balance, but why? It was obvious, though. He already knew why he found her presence so difficult, this thing that had been nagging at him for days now: they were killing her. Yes, Dorothea had offered assistance of her own accord, but he almost couldn¡¯t stand the sight of her knowing what was happening. His negligence that day had cost her precious time. Try as he might to get an apology out, he couldn¡¯t. Instead he asked, ¡°What really happened today between you and the Ghurians?¡± She wrapped her arms around herself. ¡°I¡¯ve been wondering the same thing about you, kind of. About why it is you didn¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Kill them?¡± It kept surprising him how reluctant she was to put these things into words, but it shouldn¡¯t have. She was from a completely different life than him, so far apart it may as well have been a separate universe. And maybe¡­ Just maybe, that made her the best possible person to talk to? ¡°Sorry,¡± Dorothea laughed quietly. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t push you about these things. But after today, I don¡¯t really know where to turn next. I¡¯ve never had so many people to let down, and I want to protect everyone. I¡¯m trying to make up for the things I didn¡¯t do, and now for things I did do and things I thought¡­ I¡¯m so confused,¡± she laughed weakly. If she wasn¡¯t so vulnerable and open, Rhys wouldn¡¯t have had the courage to admit what he did now, breaking the seal on the things he¡¯d been trying to hide for so long. ¡°Me too,¡± he said. ¡°I barely know what to do from moment to moment.¡± It was easier to follow Iree¡¯s lead, but he¡¯d become too dependent and scared over time. She looked surprised. ¡°You always seem so self-assured.¡± ¡°I try to look that way, yeah.¡± He¡¯d tried hard to become someone worthy of everyone¡¯s expectations. With a magic like his, how could they not rely on him, and how could he excuse letting them down with so much at stake? So he¡¯d learned long ago that being quiet and wearing a smile could easily be mistaken for being smart, relaxed and confident. ¡°The you that¡¯s unsure is¡­¡± She spoke hesitantly. They still didn¡¯t know each other well enough to judge how far they could push boundaries, after all. ¡°Um. Sorry.¡± He felt himself letting his guard down completely despite everything. ¡°Finish what you were going to say.¡± He smiled when she looked at him with doubt. ¡°Please?¡± She twiddled her thumbs, looking down at them. ¡°It¡¯s nice. It makes me feel like I can reach out to you, knowing you¡¯re just the same as anyone else.¡± ¡°The same?¡± ¡°Yeah. You can be scared and unsure, and have dreams and fears and, you know, normal stuff.¡± But he hadn¡¯t been permitted to have or feel any of those things, not even as a child. So by extension, maybe he just wasn''t normal. ¡°What about you?¡± he asked. ¡°Dreams and fears.¡± He wanted more from her. He wanted to know more about this person whose experiences were so disparate from his own. ¡°Dreams, I dunno¡­ I¡¯ve always known what my future will be, so I guess I never bothered finding any. Fears, well¡­ I guess what scares me most is failing.¡± ¡°Failing?¡± Not death, not Ghuria? ¡°What do you mean?¡± She frowned. ¡°Well, I just can¡¯t save everyone. I¡¯ve never dealt with stakes this high or had so many people to let down. I want to be able to keep it together, but I don¡¯t know if I¡­ I don¡¯t want to fail anyone. And I probably will in the end.¡± That same guilt reared, sank its teeth in. None of them had a right to thoughtlessly profit from her parasitic magic. At the same time, for the potential of that magic to be wasted while so many lives were on the line¡­ There was no perfect answer. ¡°Look. The worst thing you can do is be dishonest with your limitations. Does that make sense?¡± ¡°Yes, of course.¡± ¡°Dorothea. Please look at me so I know you understand.¡± She did so, eyebrows lifted in question of his sudden insistence. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­¡± Don¡¯t die. Please don¡¯t die. ¡°Don¡¯t push yourself too hard.¡± She nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind. Thank you.¡± Rhys wiped his hands on his trousers, part habit and part because he felt nervous and fidgety. Everything he was saying, did it have a point or use at all? He didn¡¯t care what she was planning or what was happening, he didn¡¯t care about what her attempts to interact with the Ghurians most definitely meant. He just¡­ He wanted to protect her. He wanted to understand and keep safe that part of her that hadn¡¯t grown up in a culture of warfare, that essence that reached out to the humanity of even someone like him so unflinchingly. Didn¡¯t she only do that because she had no idea what he¡¯d done? Or had she just assumed what kind of blood he had on his hands and already forgiven it? Would someone like her understand if he tried to convey these things he¡¯d never once attempted to give voice to? But it wasn¡¯t his place to burden her just because he felt helpless. ¡°Rhys?¡± She leaned over to peer up at his face, as he¡¯d lost himself completely in thought. ¡°Still here with me?¡± ¡°Wah!¡± He jumped. ¡°Uh¡­¡± She was laughing, so he couldn¡¯t help a weak chuckle. ¡°Sorry. It¡¯s been¡­a day.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Confusion furrowed her brow. ¡°You¡¯re not going to push more about it?¡± She¡¯d obviously avoided his question about her and the Ghurians. ¡°No. I don¡¯t care, really.¡± He shrugged, and after looking shocked she laughed again and smiled brightly. ¡°That¡¯s good, because I have no idea what I¡¯m going to do next.¡± ¡°Same here.¡± ¡°At least we can wallow in our sheer confusion together.¡± She leaned back, stifling a yawn. ¡°Rhys?¡± He bit one back now too. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Are you really okay?¡± He didn¡¯t have the will or even the desire to brush off her concern anymore. It had been years since anyone had sincerely asked how he was doing. His hand drifted into his pocket by habit, touching something small and warm. Almost on impulse he drew it out and laid it flat on his palm, a simple pin that no one had worn for years. Dorothea leaned over to scrutinize it. ¡°What flower is that?¡± Right, she¡¯d come from a harsh climate. Not that Rhys knew much about flowers himself. ¡°A lily, or so I was told.¡± Dorothea reached out to touch it, then looked to him for permission. Rhys nodded, and she ran a finger along its surface. ¡°It¡¯s faded,¡± she observed, fingertip brushing some flaked and dulled parts where the originally pristine yellow showed its wear. ¡°That¡¯s my fault. It¡¯s like a worry stone.¡± ¡°It adds a certain charm to it.¡± ¡°Glad you think so.¡± He paused, thinking he should stop here, but the words just kept coming. ¡°I told you before that I bought pins for myself and two friends. For protection.¡± It sounded even more foolish now. As if some cheap trinket would help. He closed his hand on the lily. ¡°Yet I have two of them with me.¡± She regarded him with silent sympathy, nodding. ¡°I¡­ It was misleading to say they were for friends. One was for my¡­mother. The other was for Iree.¡± He smiled. ¡°Care for a boring story, Dorothea?¡± ¡°I¡¯d love one.¡± 17. Clematis Sin From the moment Rhys Tamlin had been able to walk, his parents had focused on training him for battle. He¡¯d hated them for it at first. Each day was packed and exhausting, culminating in a monotonous and friendless early childhood. It didn¡¯t dawn on him until much later that it had been their way of protecting him in a world without guarantees. When the children of his age group were placed into mandatory training due to the ongoing threat of Ghurian raiders, Rhys had already been honing his magic for more than half his life. He¡¯d already learned that the best way to be approved of was to be strong. Ruthless. That was why, the day he met Iree Nobelis and was made to face her in a mock bout, he beat her into submission with brutal precision. Her magic was no match for his, but she wouldn¡¯t stop getting up, so he didn¡¯t stop crushing her. For reasons still unknown, Iree seemed to think the encounter made them friends. Rhys was drawn in by her enthusiasm. Most kids his age and even some adults were scared of him, so being chased was gratifying. He worked harder than ever in his at-home training, earning snippets of free time to go play at her house. That was how he met Sharee Nobelis. She was kind and gentle and treated him like the child he was. She doted on him and Iree, treating their scrapes and bruises and baking them sweets. Iree loved her mother fiercely, especially since Sharee was a single parent after Iree¡¯s father had left them to marry into a more prestigious family. Soon Rhys found himself loving Sharee too. He was happy. He didn¡¯t have to think about anything beyond the next time he got to be with the people he was starting to think of as his second mother and big sister. He didn¡¯t really care about anything else. Illness took his biological parents when he was thirteen. They were put in the ground, and he should have felt empty, so empty, but Sharee and Iree were there behind him. Iree took his hand and told him they were going home. Sharee said she didn¡¯t expect him to see him as her mother, she just wanted to take care of him. He wanted to repay their kindness somehow. His life¡¯s goal became to help them achieve their wants and dreams. They¡¯d already given him more than he¡¯d ever wanted, more than he had a right to, so their happiness was all he needed. Sharee was a soldier, just like every other able-bodied person in Sacer at that time. She was a squad leader, responsible for quick responses to Ghurian raider attacks. When he turned fifteen, Rhys was eligible for deployment, and Sharee drafted him into her squad. His first kill drifted through his memory in blurred flashes. As the enemy advanced on him, he reacted on instinct. Rhys¡¯ attack, a simple but inescapable slash of water, tore through the attacker¡¯s chest and flew upwards, slitting their throat and dividing their face cleanly in half. The lips were ripped open, split apart into four flapping sections. The gums seemed to melt, red sliding over pink in a sheet as blood streamed, rooting between teeth. All these years later, what stuck with him wasn¡¯t the imagery but the fact that he felt nothing upon seeing it. He had only worked hard and become strong because it was what everyone expected. His thoughts and ambitions had never been his own, not really. Making Iree and Sharee happy was something he¡¯d landed on because it removed the need to think for himself. The only things he knew were fighting and killing. Then, that day six years ago. The blankness he¡¯d lived in became real for the first time. It started out as a simple raid on a Ghurian village in retaliation for their own raids. Rhys and Sharee were going through a final sweep as the rest of their squad retreated to tend to their wounds. They broke into a locked home; after a shared glance and fingers held to lips to signal for quiet, they split up to creep through, peeking past corners. If Sharee had been the one to find them, perhaps things would have been different, but it was Rhys who encountered a man, a woman and a baby. The woman immediately lunged at him, but a flying streak of water severed her head from her neck before she was even fully to her feet. The man screamed, short-lived grief splitting the room. His body quivered with rage and terror as he watched Rhys approach. He shifted and, anticipating an attack, Rhys severed both arms and legs. Though the man writhed and screeched in pain, he was still careful not to drop the infant or hold it too tightly. He lowered himself onto his back as he bled out, securing it on top of his chest. ¡°Please,¡± he begged in his final breath. ¡°My child¡­ Don¡¯t¡­¡± From the very start, Rhys and all children like him had been taught that anyone could and would be an enemy. Every Ghurian was a foe to be put to rest. Every child was a future soldier, every elder a former aggressor. Sharee approached from behind him. ¡°The other rooms are secure. I figured you¡¯d have this handled, but¡­¡± She crossed her arms as she noticed the baby. ¡°Well, that won¡¯t do. I¡¯ll take her back to¡ª¡± She cut off with a gasp as Rhys lifted a hand to gather water that created a line across the child¡¯s throat, shallow but more than enough for the kill. Blood spread across a blanket patterned with clouds. ¡°Rhys¡­ Why¡­?¡± Why did she sound so horrified? He¡¯d disposed of a future enemy. He turned to her with explanations he¡¯d thought were so clear on his lips, but words died when he saw her face. It was twisted with utter revulsion and horror. It was a look Rhys would never forget. ¡°I realized what I was then,¡± he said in the present, trying to speak normally through the sensation of his chest ripping apart and caving in upon itself due to his emotions. ¡°Sharee and I never talked about what happened, but I always caught her looking at me in that same way. She died a year later in the epidemic, and I¡­ I never apologized or got the courage to confront it before she was gone.¡± Dorothea¡¯s voice was small. ¡°Rhys¡­ You¡ª¡± He was scared of what she¡¯d say, so he spoke in a rush. ¡°Since that day, deep down I see a person on the field of battle and know they¡¯re someone¡¯s child, someone¡¯s loved one. I¡­ We¡¯ve always killed one another¡¯s children and moved on. I moved on, or I thought I did. I¡¯ve done the bare minimum since then, but now even that¡¯s just¡­¡± It was all too much. This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. Dorothea reminded him of that time, the way Sharee had broken the way he¡¯d seen the world in simple terms. He saw in the girl beside him the cost of human life, the view of someone who hadn¡¯t been breathing conflict since childhood. There was something cherishable in that, something too precious to lose. Rhys, meanwhile, had murdered an infant and not felt a thing until he¡¯d received repercussions from an outside source. Once he had realized how inhumane and unforgivable that was, he¡¯d shattered. He¡¯d done a thing like that and felt nothing. That wasn¡¯t supposed to be possible. The realization of what he¡¯d become opened him up to the guilt of the things he had done, and that threatened to destroy him. Part of him wanted it to, but he knew he didn¡¯t deserve to run away. The impossible question was how to ever approach atoning. ¡°So in the end, I¡­¡± Rhys whispered, faltering. It felt like he¡¯d been speaking for hours. Some of the candles had gone out, cloaking them in a powerful, weighty darkness. His throat was sore from talking on and on, backtracking and adding tangents, trying to explain parts of himself he feared and didn¡¯t understand. It was surprising she hadn¡¯t run away from him by now. It took Dorothea a long time to say anything else. ¡°What do you want to do?¡± ¡°I want to rest,¡± he answered, finding these to be the closest words for his desires at the moment. ¡°I just want to rest, and I can¡¯t. I haven¡¯t earned that right.¡± ¡°I think¡­¡± She considered her words. ¡°I believe there¡¯s a way to make up for everything we¡¯ve done. Or I¡¯d like it to be true.¡± Could he dare to try and believe that? He¡¯d be damned if he cried now, but she was making it hard, and his lips trembled over his words. ¡°Thank you. It means a lot that you¡¯d say that. That you''d¡­listen. And stay.¡± ¡°Mmhm.¡± Dorothea¡¯s utterance was weak and high-pitched, so Rhys was less surprised to find her crying now instead, face scrunching into a preciously ugly mess. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± he asked, unsure. Had he scared her that badly? ¡°I¡¯m a sympathetic crier!¡± she hiccuped. ¡°If I see someone else crying, I, urgh, I can¡¯t¡­ I cry at sad books, I cry when I see a kid fall on the street and start crying, and then there¡¯s weddings and funerals and proposals and of course stage dramas and¡­ Um, I cry a lot, Rhys. I¡¯m no good.¡± Now he¡¯d gone and done it. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± He¡¯d just felt so safe with her, safer than he had in a long time, that he¡¯d ended up telling her everything. ¡°I know you don¡¯t need my pity¡­ But I¡¯m sorry too. For everything you¡¯ve¡­¡± Her shoulders jerked up and down, and her hands clenched around the hem of her dress, exposing a slice of waxy skin above tall black socks. She hadn¡¯t even been back home to change yet, and she was still bloodstained. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± he said, rubbing her back awkwardly. ¡°We¡¯re gonna be okay.¡± He kept going until she stopped crying, then pulled away. ¡°This whole time, I¡¯ve felt like you¡¯re the one who really wanted to cry,¡± she said quietly. ¡°I almost did.¡± His capacity for that much had shocked him. ¡°But in that case, thank you for crying on my behalf.¡± It felt like a gift somehow, to be worthy of her emotions. ¡°Well¡­¡± She swiped at her face one last time with the heels of her hands. ¡°Thank you for sharing with me. Really. I know it must have been¡­¡± She smiled and shook her head. ¡°That¡¯s not something I need to say.¡± No, she didn¡¯t need to. He knew already how she appreciated the gravity of his tale and his uncertainty, how she would hold his secrets close. That was just the kind of person she was. That said, he still couldn¡¯t fathom how and why she was so calm. ¡°Aren¡¯t you scared?¡± he asked, tentative. ¡°I did terrible things.¡± She shook her head. ¡°I won¡¯t lie. It¡¯s horrifying. But if there¡¯s anything I¡¯ve learned since coming here, um, or at least within the past twelve hours, it¡¯s that I can¡¯t judge your lives based on what I think is normal or right from my experience. I won¡¯t say the things all of you have done don¡¯t bother me. I¡¯m guilty of it too though, of hating and agreeing to hurt others without thinking. So I think we both have a lot of work to do¡­¡± She looked at him apologetically. ¡°Sorry. I don¡¯t really know what else to say. I wish I could be more helpful.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s plenty.¡± She¡¯d done so much just by listening. ¡°Hey, Rhys?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I want to tell you something too, if that¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± There was no way he¡¯d refuse after the kindness she¡¯d just given him. Dorothea looked down at her lap. ¡°I told you I fell from a tree once, right?¡± Her face clouded with shame after he nodded. ¡°That time, my mother had to use her magic to heal me. I took something away from her she couldn¡¯t get back. I¡¯ve been afraid of heights ever since then, and I¡­ I haven¡¯t been able to forgive myself. For doing that to her.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± So that was why she¡¯d been so scared in the watchtower. ¡°Not that that makes it all good, or that I can forgive her for¡­¡± She shook her head. ¡°But now I think that maybe I understand how she felt, and maybe it¡¯s the same way I feel now. That it¡¯s okay in the end. That it¡¯s worth it.¡± She smiled at him. ¡°So don¡¯t worry about me.¡± She knew, he realized. She understood his guilt and fear towards what her magic was doing to her and how they were all complicit in pushing it further. ¡°Dorothea, I¡­¡± For all the times he could have fought harder, fought at all to prevent her from trading previous time away¡­ "I am so, so ¡ª" ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± She stood, still smiling, and beckoned to him. ¡°Come on. We both need sleep.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll walk you back.¡± They walked in silence, the streetlamps casting them in pale, washed-out light. Once back at the Creed residence, they stopped for farewell, Dorothea standing on the first porch step and Rhys at the base of the stairs. ¡°Rhys?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°There¡¯s always a place for you in Sirpo. You know, once there is a Sirpo again. If you need somewhere to go, plans for when it¡¯s rebuilt could always change.¡± He shook his head, though he was again almost moved to tears simply from the offer. It was huge for her to say that. ¡°Thanks, Dorothea, but that¡¯s not necessary.¡± No more running away. He had to stay until he¡¯d found a way to face what he¡¯d done. She didn¡¯t look surprised. ¡°I hope you can find your way.¡± ¡°Thank you. I¡­ I¡¯ll do my best.¡± Dorothea offered an encouraging smile. ¡°Good luck. Let me know if there¡¯s ever anything I can do for you.¡± A small pause. ¡°Well, I should go¡­¡± ¡°Dorothea, I¡¯m sorry, but one last thing.¡± ¡°Hm?¡± He hesitated. ¡°Rather than comrades, it¡¯s¡­¡± The distance between them had drastically decreased in a short time, and he wanted to convey that. She smiled, looking shy. ¡°Friends, right? Can I call you that now?¡± ¡°Yeah. Yeah, I¡¯d like that.¡± He smiled back sheepishly. ¡°And¡­ Thank you.¡± A thousand times over, thank you. ¡°Any time.¡± With one last smile and a dip of her head, she turned away. Maybe, with a friend like that nearby, he could really try. Maybe the growing apathy and despair that threatened to crush him could be torn apart if he fought with all his might. Could he really hope for that? 18. Marigolds Ghosts Iree was prepared to go in alone to explain the prior day¡¯s humiliating loss to the council. That said, mixed relief and anger stacked atop her already turbulent feelings when she saw Rhys standing outside the Creed mansion that morning. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± she demanded. He met her eyes. ¡°It¡¯s not right for you to take responsibility for my failures. I¡¯ll explain everything to them.¡± Before Iree could figure out how to respond¡ªshe wanted to roundhouse kick him in his stupid face¡ªhe continued. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Iree. For everything.¡± Apologies wouldn¡¯t help them right now. ¡°I¡¯ve got a plan to save face for you. Hopefully for both of us, so I want you to stay out here.¡± He frowned, skeptical. ¡°How? We both know it has to be someone¡¯s fault.¡± ¡°So we pin it on someone they can¡¯t replace.¡± Rhys realized instantly. ¡°Dorothea.¡± Iree nodded. ¡°She can handle some blame, and it¡¯s not undeserved. My command and our ability can both be proven again. We just have to convince them to let this one go.¡± Rhys shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t like this. I¡¯ve already been demoted, so I¡¯ve got nothing to lose. Better me than her.¡± ¡°If you want to stay on my squad, you¡¯ll shut up and let me do this. You¡¯d be lucky to end up in the mess hall after all this.¡± "Huh.¡± He didn¡¯t look like he hated the idea. ¡°Did you really mean what you said last night? About Mom not liking us as we are now?¡± Iree blurted, surprising both of them. His face fell. ¡°Iree, look, I¡ª¡± ¡°Forget it. It¡¯s a new day, and we¡¯ve got bigger things to worry about. Come on, hurry up.¡± Once again, she didn¡¯t want to hear his honest answer. He wasn¡¯t the same as he¡¯d used to be, and she just couldn¡¯t accept what that meant for them. Atlin, Olyen, Creed and Ariana were waiting for them outside the entrance to the council¡¯s meeting room in the bottom right corner of the mansion¡¯s first floor. ¡°Good morning,¡± Atlin greeted with a small smile, and Iree¡¯s gut twisted as Rhys smiled back. She faked a smile of her own. ¡°Morning.¡± Olyen grinned. ¡°Good luck in there. I don¡¯t envy you all.¡± ¡°Cover your asses,¡± Ariana said flatly. ¡°Yes, cover them well, if that is the phrasing we must use,¡± Creed added. Iree laughed and shook her head. ¡°Thanks for the concern, guys.¡± ¡°They should all be assembled by now,¡± Rhys said quietly. ¡°It¡¯s best not to keep them waiting.¡± ¡°Rhys, Atlin¡­ Let¡¯s get this over with,¡± Iree sighed as she led them in. The conference room was windowless with smooth, dark walls. The seven council members waited in a wide, gated array of receding row seats, the most influential persons in the foremost columns of the stack. Cinder Creed, the current head, had the front row to himself. Iree counted the black flecks of the marble dais in the center of the room as she, Atlin and Rhys approached it. After she stood upon the dais with her feet shoulder-width apart and arms folded behind her, she looked up with a steadfast gaze to meet Cinder¡¯s impenetrable eyes. As he shifted and cleared his throat, silence spread like a flash of lightning shattering the sky, hushed whispers of the rest of the council sliced mid-word. ¡°Commander Nobelis, Mister Tamlin, Miss Atlin. Greetings.¡± Cinder nodded to them. Atlin curtseyed, all grace and elegance. ¡°Well met, Sacerian council. I thank you for your hospitality, generosity and consideration in regards to recent matters of import.¡± Her posture had suddenly become immaculate, her movements demure and her expression soft yet commanding in its quiet sense of authority. Iree looked at her sidelong. So this was what the leader of Sirpo was like when she was trying to act like it. Not bad. Cinder smiled. ¡°Now then. Please explain the loss of Izozkia and its surrounding territory.¡± At least Cinder was one to get down to the point. That, Iree appreciated. She took a breath and¡ª ¡°It¡¯s my fault,¡± Rhys and Atlin stated at the same time. Rhys cast Atlin a shocked look, but she paid him no heed. ¡°It came down to my lack of experience, sir,¡± she explained, lowering her eyes with respect and shame. ¡°I was so frightened I couldn¡¯t think. Then Captain Tamlin was so preoccupied with protecting me that the enemy got the upper hand. Commander Nobelis directed me the best she could, but I simply wasn¡¯t listening. I¡¯m sorry.¡± So that was how it was. Iree had never needed to throw Atlin to the wolves; the girl had come here to do it to herself. Interesting, and¡­unexpected. Rhys was stuck now. He couldn¡¯t tell his side without directly contradicting Atlin, and that wouldn¡¯t look good for any of them. Still, because he was a stupid man and would inevitably say something anyways, Iree talked first. ¡°I¡¯ve reconfigured the setup of my squad to be better conducive to our success moving forward,¡± she stated. ¡°Cerid Creed will enter the captain¡¯s position while Rhys Tamlin will fall back to a more supportive role.¡± Herein came the reason for Iree picking Cerid to become the new captain. It was only his promotion that would put the council at ease. Cinder was nodding. ¡°Very good. Now, please describe it. The Bittersweet Nightshade-user.¡± ¡°He wouldn¡¯t be an issue for my squad on his own, but the rats have good team synergy in combat.¡± Iree paused as rage and jealousy tried to trap her words down. ¡°And he does have skill,¡± she admitted anyway. His very existence was a huge blow to her plans. After the epidemic, the entire Bittersweet Nightshade line was supposed to have died off. That was the assumption she and Cinder had worked under, at least. The rest of the council erupted in protests, but Cinder sounded as calm as always. ¡°Can you make the kill next time, Commander?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Not finding a way wasn¡¯t an option. One council member asked, not masking their fear, ¡°Is there a possibility the line has been multiplying?¡± A collective intake of breath seized the council before murmurs wove among them. Iree noticed Atlin flinching too. ¡°Even if he does have children, they¡¯d be too young to pose a threat,¡± she replied. ¡°Why wasn¡¯t he killed? With so much at stake and the reversal of time at your disposal, how could you have possibly lost?¡± The entire council except for Cinder was looking down at them with the same intense coldness and anger those words radiated. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. How could Iree understand that when she hadn¡¯t yet come to terms herself? Everything was supposed to be fine with Atlin there. Instead, life had thrown another curve at her right when she¡¯d started to see the end of their suffering in her bloodstained vision. It was Rhys who spoke up, and the words of her former captain made chills run up Iree¡¯s spine. ¡°The power of time is wielded by a human,¡± he stated simply, ¡°so it¡¯s bound by the mind of the person who wields it. You only see this magic as boundless and without potential for fault because you overlook the humanity of its host.¡± Cinder spoke before the clear outrage some council members felt at Rhys¡¯ disrespect could make things worse. ¡°Your perspective is noted.¡± Iree wanted to pick up and help smooth things over too, but she was too stunned. He was right, wasn¡¯t he? Iree had only seen the magic. She hadn¡¯t considered Atlin as a person with flaws beyond those she could manipulate. Of course her emotions would impact her battlefield performance. Dorothea had stared at Rhys as he¡¯d spoken, but now she¡¯d recollected herself. ¡°We won¡¯t lose again. I finally understand the way this life works. I¡¯m prepared to face it now.¡± She bent slightly as if to bow but straightened quickly. ¡°I once again apologize for my failures.¡± Iree managed to speak. ¡°I won¡¯t tolerate weakness on my squad anymore, sir. We understand the stakes. With your permission¡±¡ªshe met Cinder¡¯s eyes pointedly¡ª¡°I¡¯ll have a plan of counterattack submitted by the end of the day.¡± He nodded. ¡°Of course.¡± They chatted about a few more things, with Dorothea explaining her version of events again. It seemed the failure would be forgiven for now, but Iree still felt the thinness of the ice beneath her feet. Cinder spoke in conclusion. ¡°Dismissed, the three of you. The council will remain behind for further discussion.¡± He¡¯d calm them down and make sure they didn¡¯t get in the way, more like. Once the doors were shut behind them, Iree let out an exasperated groan. ¡°That sucked ass¡­¡± Olyen stood, having been sitting against the opposite wall next to Creed as they waited. ¡°That good?¡± they laughed. ¡°Good as it can be,¡± Ariana sighed. ¡°You can tell from her face that we¡¯re fine. This time.¡± ¡°Pretty much.¡± Iree paused, then grabbed Atlin¡¯s arm before she could make her way over to Olyen. ¡°Atlin, come with me.¡± ¡°Oh? Um, okay.¡± She wore the same vapid smile as usual and let Iree lead her. ¡°Where to?¡± ¡°There¡¯s someone I want you to meet, I guess.¡± At the nornernmost point of the fort, the fallen soldiers of Udara were honored in a graveyard that had tripled in size after the epidemic and only grown further since then, albeit not too much under Cinder and Iree¡¯s direction. It was a bright, colorful place despite its purpose. Flowers adorned every headstone, constantly kept fresh and new. A rainbow array of symbolic love and remembrance gave a sense of warmth and comfort, at least as much as a place like this could have. Iree was taking Atlin to meet Sharee. Once they were in front of the headstone, she sat on the ground with a heavy sigh. ¡°It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve visited.¡± Atlin sat gingerly, folding her hands and closing her eyes for a few moments. Once finished with her prayer, she put her hand on Iree¡¯s arm. Iree expected her to say something to comfort her, but she didn¡¯t. She just sat in silence, connecting them with her gentle touch. ¡°Yours are dead too, right?¡± Iree asked eventually. The song of the wind in the trees was soft, but it felt so cold. ¡°Well my mother is, as we¡¯ve discussed. I never met my father.¡± ¡°Fancy that. Mine¡¯s a deadbeat too,¡± Iree said with a caustic laugh. ¡°So you and your mother must have been close.¡± ¡°Yeah. I love her more than anything.¡± Iree followed Atlin¡¯s gaze to the pin on her sleeve. Her fireproof outfit was fully black with white stripes along the buttons of her shirt and her cuffs, so any extra adornment stood out. ¡°So Rhys told you. I thought so.¡± She¡¯d been able to tell by the way they looked at each other that Atlin and Rhys had gotten a lot closer, so it followed they¡¯d had to share something personal to make that connection. Sharee was the only thing Iree could think of that Rhys had to his name to treasure like that. Atlin looked contrite. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know that means I was able to look into a part of you that you probably wouldn¡¯t have told me about yourself.¡± ¡°No big deal.¡± It was Rhys¡¯ life too. The two of them were tied together in a deep, irrevocable way. Not that Atlin would understand that bond. ¡°Don¡¯t say that.¡± Atlin studied the crisp, neat lettering on Sharee¡¯s headstone, the marigolds and roses slowly dying upon it. ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not gonna stop you.¡± ¡°Well, thank you,¡± Atlin laughed. ¡°I want to understand you better, Iree. Why do you fight? What is it you want most?¡± Iree wasn¡¯t used to other people trying to dissect her, but letting Atlin feel a little more comfortable with her and lulling her sense of caution wouldn¡¯t be the worst thing. ¡°I¡¯m going to end war.¡± ¡°End war.¡± Atlin paused, and her eyes widened some. ¡°Not end the war or this war. End war in general. How?¡± Iree laughed and clapped her on the back. ¡°It¡¯s not something you need to worry about, Atlin.¡± Against expectation, Atlin narrowed her eyes. ¡°This involves me, Iree, even if I turned away from it for a long time. I still want justice to be found, and since things have come to this, I want to be a part of it. My mother died because of the event that started this war. I want to understand that, and I want to understand who I¡¯ve become since then.¡± Iree hadn¡¯t thought about that either. ¡°You really idolize your mom, huh?¡± ¡°No.¡± Atlin¡¯s eyes got a clouded look. ¡°She gave her life restoring what lives to Sirpo she could after the epidemic. So even if I say I lost her to the epidemic, I suppose you could say I lost her to her own conscience¡­¡± Which was what had led Dorothea to turn away from her own for so long. Iree understood it now. ¡°I¡¯m¡­sorry,¡± she said, and was surprised that she didn¡¯t have to fake sincerity behind those words. This person wasn¡¯t entirely unworthy of her respect. Just mostly. Atlin smiled. ¡°Me too. You know, I¡­ I¡¯m sorry if this is overstepping, but¡­¡± Her cheeks reddened with shyness. ¡°Some people, they¡¯re so dear to us that once they¡¯re gone they cling to us, and it¡¯s¡­¡± She waved her hands, searching for words. ¡°It¡¯s not a good feeling, but it¡¯s not terrible, either.¡± ¡°Yeah, I get you.¡± Iree¡¯s mother would always be with her, guiding her every step. The weight was unbearable sometimes, having to fill the void and honor the memory of a person who¡¯d left her behind with such a large shadow in her wake. Even so, she¡¯d never want to be rid of it. It was like having Sharee still with her in a way. ¡°What was her name?¡± ¡°Ophelia.¡± ¡°Pretty.¡± Atlin nodded at Sharee¡¯s headstone. ¡°Likewise.¡± She touched Iree¡¯s arm one more time before she stood. ¡°I¡¯ll give you some time alone with her, if you¡¯d like.¡± Iree stood with her, capturing her hand in a firm handshake. ¡°Thanks for letting me drag you here. I guess¡­¡± Yeah, she realized why she¡¯d brought her along in the first place. ¡°I wanted to understand you too.¡± Now that she did, she knew exactly how to move forward. As long as Iree had even a single trick left up her sleeve, she¡¯d keep fighting. ¡°Thank you, Iree.¡± Iree held fast. ¡°I¡¯ve got one last question for you too, Atlin.¡± There was never any suspicion to her expressions. When she was puzzled, it was open and blank. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you just say no? There¡¯s no rule saying you have to share your mother¡¯s fate.¡± She was curious despite herself. If she were in Atlin¡¯s shoes, she¡¯d have told the people of Sirpo to handle their own problems a long time ago. ¡°It¡¯s more complicated than that.¡± Atlin laughed, but there was an edge to it. She dropped her hands to wring them. ¡°Sirpo was founded during the War of Blending with the understanding that the Atlins would be its protectors. Peacetime, tenuous as it is, doesn¡¯t mean we¡¯re stopped being asked to use our magic. It¡¯s like¡­ So-and-so broke their arm, this person died too early and some people didn¡¯t get to say their goodbyes so they need closure, this fight from a week ago made a marriage break up so could I please stop it because there¡¯s kids involved, and so on. You know? Gods forbid someone stub their precious little toe!¡± She let out a long, exhausted breath. It was to be expected. If there was a way out of their mistakes and heartaches, people would want to grasp it regardless of the consequences. Iree herself was no exception, but at least she was self-aware. ¡°Sorry, Dorothea. But you¡¯ve toughed it out this long. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll figure something out.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± She stared at Iree like a drunken owl. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°What is it? You¡¯re creeping me out.¡± ¡°Nothing! You just, um¡­ I think that¡¯s the first time you¡¯ve called me by my name. My first name, that is.¡± ¡°Huh? Oh, sure, maybe.¡± Weird. Normally Iree only reserved that for people she respected or loved. After today, she liked Atlin more than she thought she ever would, but¡­ ¡°Well,¡± she said, ¡°consider it an honor.¡± But nothing would change her mission or her conviction. ¡°I will.¡± Atlin dipped her head and backed up a step. ¡°I think we all want the same thing in the end. Justice and peace. Getting it is the hard part.¡± She regarded Iree with a thoughtful, steady gaze, and something like wariness almost pricked in Iree¡¯s mind. ¡°Take care of yourself, Iree.¡± ¡°You too.¡± Yeah, they¡¯d get it for sure. Justice, peace, revenge¡­ Despite the setbacks, they were so close she could taste it. Atlin departed, and Iree leaned forward to touch her forehead to her mother¡¯s name. ¡°Soon,¡± she promised. ¡°We¡¯re almost there. It won¡¯t have been for nothing.¡± With that she stood, smiled, and went to confer with Cinder Creed. 19. Clematis Ammunition Iree¡¯s next verdict was delivered the following day. It came to Dorothea over breakfast, where the atmosphere was much different than usual. Ariana was being almost¡­pleasant. Not once had she rolled her eyes or muttered some snarky comment or other. Dorothea was slowly becoming braver with attempts to talk to her¡ªthey had managed to chat about the weather multiple times!¡ªbut then Ariana blindsided her. ¡°I wanted to apologize to you,¡± she said. ¡°For before.¡± Even after Dorothea made sense of the words, double-checking that she knew their definitions and hadn¡¯t misheard, she still pinched herself since it had to be a dream at that point. But it wasn¡¯t so. ¡°Um, thank you. I¡¯m sorry too.¡± Ariana frowned. ¡°For what?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not as if you don¡¯t have a point about me.¡± Ariana scraped her fork along her empty plate. ¡°I don¡¯t hate you, it¡¯s just that¡­¡± Her back straightened suddenly, and the doors to the dining hall opened a few seconds later. Dorothea got a familiar sense of foreboding aas Iree and Rhys approached. Iree wore a grin and stood in her usual pose, hands on hips and legs shoulder-width apart, while Rhys slouched, hands visibly twitching from their place hidden in his jacket pockets. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± Dorothea asked, voice tight. Iree laughed. ¡°Good morning to you too! Atlin, come with us. The rest of you? It¡¯d be a bad idea to follow.¡± As always, it wasn¡¯t a request. With a glance at Shark, whose face mirrored her grim foreboding, Dorothea followed them outside. ¡°Do you want to explain, Rhys, or should I?¡± Iree asked once they hovered on the front porch. It almost felt like she was goading him. His words dripped exhaustion and reluctance. ¡°We¡¯ll be taking back Izozkia.¡± There was a pained pause. ¡°Just the two of us. You and I, Dorothea.¡± Her stomach dropped. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry? Did your council order this?¡± No, that didn¡¯t make sense either. She and Rhys were the ones who had bungled things in the first place, so there was no way anyone would want them in charge. ¡°They don¡¯t know about it, ¡± Iree informed her. ¡°Just me and Cinder have approved this.¡± ¡°Then why¡­ Then how¡­¡± ¡°The two of you need to prove your loyalty,¡± Iree stated. ¡°And this is how you¡¯re going to do it. The story we¡¯ll tell the council is that you set off on your own to redeem yourselves. Do a good job and the worst we¡¯ll get is a scolding. Fail, though¡­ Well, you¡¯ll be fine, Atlin. Probably. Rhys, though¡­ Not so much. We don¡¯t take kindly to enemy sympathizers.¡± Rhys looked stricken. ¡°I don¡¯t¡ª¡± ¡°That¡¯s not going to stop people from talking shit!¡± Iree snapped. ¡°Silence all doubt about who you¡¯re fighting for. Our people deserve to have faith that we¡¯re fighting with our all to keep them safe. They deserve more than what you¡¯re giving.¡± As Dorothea scrambled to form a protest of her own, Iree¡¯s final words to send them off sealed the deal. ¡°There are innocent people suffering. That¡¯s what we need to fight against the most.¡± Dorothea looked to Rhys, but he avoided her eyes. ¡°We¡¯ll succeed,¡± she reassured Iree in as confident a tone as she could muster. ¡°Good luck!¡± Iree winked before zooming off. Rhys¡¯ face was blank all of a sudden. ¡°Nothing to do but set off,¡± he said, turning on his heel and marching off. ¡°Wait a second!¡± Dorothea seized his sleeve after speed-shuffling to his side. ¡°This doesn¡¯t seem insane to you?¡± He didn¡¯t reply until they were out of the city¡¯s bounds. ¡°Not really. The terms are simple, no survivors. Standard.¡± Rhys nodded as she paled. ¡°I know. The Ghurians will be anticipating some sort of counterattack, so our job is basically to do a sweep of the area and kill every soldier we see.¡± ¡°Is there really no other way?¡± Maybe she could talk her way through it like Gren Fall had? ¡°It¡¯s not that simple. There are hundreds of displaced people in Udara right now. They¡¯re without their homes and lives, and they have to keep living in fear of what¡¯s going to happen next. Giving in to the demands of the Ghurians, even in the name of peace, still means taking something from someone else. Trust me, it¡¯s not as if I haven¡¯t thought about this before, but it¡¯s just¡­ Someone gets hurt either way. It¡¯s like Iree said. Our people still deserve better. I don¡¯t¡­ I guess there¡¯s nothing to do for it after all.¡± Dorothea¡¯s limbs felt leaden. So acting with belief in the power of words and good intentions was useless without a real solution, and they didn¡¯t have one. The choice to go along with Gren Fall and reach what she¡¯d judged as the peaceful conclusion to the encounter at Izozkia had still hurt a lot of people. Besides, there was Rhys, and¡­ He looked so tired, but she didn¡¯t know how to help. ¡°Sorry, but how are we going to go about this?¡± The least they could do was form a strategy, not that she even knew where to start. ¡°All you need to do is stay close to me, and I¡¯ll handle the rest.¡± ¡°Is that really all?¡± It couldn¡¯t be. ¡°It is. I know I haven¡¯t given you any reason to believe this, but I can handle myself. You won¡¯t get hurt.¡± That wasn¡¯t what she was worried about. ¡°Um, Rhys, do you think you¡¯ll be able to¡­¡± He stopped walking and bent, turning sharply, for his eyes to be level with hers. ¡°I¡¯ll protect you. I promise.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it!¡± He jumped and stood at full height. ¡°Then¡­ What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m worried about you. About whether or not you¡¯ll be okay!¡± ¡°Oh.¡± He looked surprised; it genuinely hadn¡¯t occurred to him. ¡°Just remember that we¡¯re in this together.¡± Judging from the state he¡¯d been in at the end of the last battle, he wasn¡¯t going to end today in good condition. She wanted to be there for him. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. ¡°Thanks.¡± He took a shaky breath. ¡°We should hurry.¡± ¡°Right.¡± The trek continued, the two sticking close and keeping their voices hushed in the now rare moments they spoke. Dorothea looked at the woods ahead of them and waited for an enemy to leap out, flinching at the shadows of swooping birds and the smooth rustling of leaves. Too soon, the fort wall was in sight. ¡°Doesn¡¯t look like anyone¡¯s posted in the watchtower,¡± Rhys noted. ¡°But there are some patrolling on the wall. Likely someone¡¯s stationed at every point, though I don¡¯t suppose it matters where we go in.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t?¡± In just a few steps, they would leave the relative safety of the treeline. ¡°If nothing else, just remember to stay close,¡± Rhys urged. ¡°I¡¯ll protect you.¡± The way he said it was less of a reassurance to her and more something for himself, Dorothea thought. It was like¡­stating his convictions, somehow. ¡°Rhys, I¡­¡± She faltered as he held up a finger, and then she heard it too. Rhys had noticed the sound of multiple sets of footsteps before she had. A small group was approaching from the way they¡¯d come. ¡°Behind me.¡± Rhys put one arm out protectively and lifted his other hand, a spiral of water gathering before him. Dorothea held her breath and huddled against a tree, digging her fingers into pale flakes of bluish-white lichens. Her heart nearly burst when Shark popped into view. ¡°Thea!¡± they whisper-yelled, waving their arms, rushing to her side and all but pushing Rhys out of the way to give her a hug. ¡°Glad nothing¡¯s started yet. We tried to hurry.¡± ¡°We?¡± she asked, dazed. Cerid and Ariana appeared seconds later, joining up with far less enthusiasm. ¡°This is insubordination,¡± Cerid noted. ¡°Though I appear to be the only one concerned.¡± ¡°Iree¡¯s not going to like this, true,¡± Ariana agreed. ¡°But it¡¯d be pretty inconvenient if they both got killed here.¡± Shark grinned. ¡°Eh, take it easy. It¡¯s not like she told us not to come. She just said it¡¯d be a bad idea for us to follow.¡± Cerid tilted his head. ¡°And the difference is¡­?¡± ¡°Semantics.¡± ¡°Ah. I see. Actually I do not, but I will go along regardless.¡± Shark turned their grin back to Dorothea, then Rhys. ¡°So yeah, we snuck out and came to help. What¡¯s the plan, Captain? Uh, Ex-Captain?¡± Rhys had tensed even more as opposed to showing signs of relief. ¡°I appreciate the concern, but we¡¯ll follow Iree¡¯s orders. You all go back. Come on, Dorothea.¡± ¡°Hooold it!¡± Shark grabbed his shoulder before he could take more than one step. ¡°Look, I know there¡¯s a lot at stake here, but that¡¯s exactly why we shouldn''t be dividing forces.¡± Rhys narrowed his eyes. ¡°Why do you think she made us come alone?¡± he demanded. ¡°This is a test. One I need to pass with full marks.¡± A test. Right. Iree had made it plain as day that the council, and probably many others by extension, thought Dorothea and Rhys couldn¡¯t be trusted. Iree¡¯s intent was to force them out of hiding; if they hung back behind the support of others today, they would just keep ending up in the same position until the commander was satisfied. ¡°Shark, Cerid, Ariana,¡± Dorothea began, ¡°thank you, but leave it to us.¡± Shark stepped toward her, alarmed. ¡°But Thea ¡ª¡± ¡°Please, Shark. If you want a loophole, then will you just stay out here just in case reinforcements come? We don¡¯t know what might happen.¡± Shark¡¯s mouth hung open, and they closed it with a sharp clack of teeth. ¡°Fine, but I¡¯ll come running if I sense any super danger.¡± ¡°As opposed to¡­regular danger?¡± Cerid asked. ¡°Super danger is super danger, my man.¡± At least Shark felt comfortable enough to joke. It made Dorothea feel a bit braver. ¡°Let¡¯s go, Rhys.¡± She took his arm and tugged, leading him closer to the fort with far more confidence than she felt. The moment they were noticed, the battle would begin¡­ A cry came from the fort¡¯s wall, and Rhys jetted forward. Dorothea pursued, heart lodged in her throat. Somewhat distanced, she saw an arc of water materialize before one of the Ghurians above¡ªa spray of red mist followed the slashing of that arc into flesh. She felt the chill of a life lost but couldn¡¯t process it through anticipation of the havoc they were about to bring. Everyone they encountered had the bearing of a soldier, the quick reaction time, the anger and bloodlust covering the fear in the eyes. There was a group of four facing them as soon as they had sprinted onto the first side street. Dorothea prepared to run, turn back time, whatever Rhys ordered, but nothing was happening. None of the enemy was moving to attack. They were immobile, bodies stiffening as if they had been frozen from the inside out. She looked to Rhys¡¯ lifted hand with confusion. How? When his fingers closed to a fist, four corpses crumpled. Dead eyes met hers as necks turned at awkward angles in their fall, and she couldn¡¯t stifle a screech despite how she tried. Fluid flooded from eyes, noses, and mouths, tongues lolling out to drip with accusations unanswered. A hand wrapped around her wrist to unfreeze her too, and she jerked away on reflex. ¡°Um, I¡­ It¡¯s not you, it¡¯s¡­¡± Rhys smiled slightly in understanding. ¡°Go back,¡± he offered. ¡°You don¡¯t have to watch.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± she squeaked, clearing her throat to continue. She had no right to run away; the whole situation was partly her fault. ¡°I won¡¯t leave you behind.¡± Whoever was right andwhoever was wrong right now, she would stay with him. Rhys nodded and gestured towards the direction they would go next. The streets felt eerie and haunted from the absence of rowdy exchange. The milling Ghurians were quieter in the way they conducted themselves, wary in this foreign dwelling. They were right to be, as those Rhys descended upon hadn¡¯t the time to defend themselves or even start to call for help before they were slashed apart or else killed in the same bloodless yet gruesome manner he had the first group. ¡°Gods,¡± Dorothea breathed. He was horrifyingly strong. Iree wasn¡¯t crazy for ordering this, not one bit. In pushing Rhys to his full potential, she¡¯d unveiled a weapon unlike any other. Hours would pass in the process of combing the entire fort for inhabitants. When they were less than halfway through, Dorothea noticed Rhys starting to slow down. Sweat had broken out and slithered down his temples, and his breathing was labored. She scanned around them, picking a building that looked untouched. Once she had pulled Rhys inside, she checked the upstairs and found it vacant. They would be safe for now. After he was propped against a wall and slid down to sit, he closed his eyes. ¡°Just a minute,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡± Dorothea knelt next to him. ¡°I can restore your energy.¡± He cracked an eye open and batted away the hand she¡¯d lifted. ¡°Don¡¯t waste it.¡± Her life, he meant, she realized after a second of confusion. ¡°Rhys, how are you even doing that...thing?¡± ¡°Water,¡± he stated, ¡°is everywhere. Even though the amount of water vapor in the composition of the air is small, I can still gather it and use it to attack. It¡¯s the same with a person. The brain, heart, kidneys and lungs are primarily composed of water, so it¡¯s possible for me to manipulate that water to crush people from the inside. Skin, muscles, bones¡­ Water¡¯s a part of all of it. For me, the human body is like¡­like a clod of wet dirt. The faintest pressure, and it all falls apart.¡± Dorothea got a chill. ¡°It¡¯s¡­an incredible amount of power.¡± No wonder his allies had all been so enraged at his refusal to fight; with power like this, he was too valuable to lose. It was the same way people thought about her, reducing her usefulness and purpose to the magic she¡¯d been born with. That was why she¡¯d been so shocked and touched when he¡¯d defended her during the council meeting. He¡¯d seen her, really seen her. ¡°Right. Well, having dangerous magics on each side is part of what keeps wars going.¡± He shrugged. ¡°We¡¯re right to be scared if a single person can just waltz in and do this much damage. At least, I guess that¡¯s how people think. Being one of the strong ones, I shouldn¡¯t talk about how scared other people might feel.¡± He hugged himself, frowning. ¡°Rhys, are you okay?¡± She touched his arm, but he twitched away. He certainly seemed to dislike being touched without warning. She¡¯d need to be more mindful. ¡°Sorry. But why are you so drained?¡± He sighed and tilted his head back, sagging further and sliding down the wall some. ¡°The sheer amount of ammunition I have¡­ It took years to hone the control to pinpoint exactly how much water I gather and how I manipulate it. That¡¯s part of why my parents started me off so young. Still, it takes a lot out of me. My stamina¡¯s never been the best, no matter how much I train.¡± He blinked as he sat up, and she could tell he was fighting a rush of dizziness. ¡°Take your time,¡± she urged gently. He frowned, studying her. ¡°Are you not phased at all right now? I thought by now you¡¯d be¡­¡± ¡°A complete blubbering mess?¡± He looked away, embarrassed. ¡°Kind of.¡± Dorothea managed a small laugh. ¡°Me falling apart wouldn¡¯t help us right now.¡± ¡°I see.¡± He heaved himself to his feet. ¡°Come on. Still a lot to do.¡± ¡°Please tell me if you need my help.¡± That was all she felt she could say. To this he said nothing, and she knew then that he¡¯d rather push himself to the most painful brink possible than have her trade another second of life in using Eternal Rosemary. She also knew that, if he asked or needed, she would give up as much as it took. 20. Rosemarys Certainty The routing was simple and methodical, and that only made it worse. Every path and house in Izozkia were cleared. Everyone they encountered was killed with a horrid, vulgar simplicity. Dorothea was in the middle of wondering if Shark would understand the chaotic amalgamation of feelings the day had brought when, in a burst of flying debris and soil, a howling wind blew apart their surroundings. She shrieked as Rhys grabbed onto her, his magic slicing pieces of building that sailed through the air to crush them. Reinforcements, as she¡¯d thought possible. But if the enemy was here, then what had happened to Shark, Cerid and Ariana? ¡°No way,¡± she whispered. Shark wouldn¡¯t fall like that. In her fear of the opposite, she stopped moving. ¡°Snap out of it!¡± Rhys ordered. ¡°I¡¯ll handle this, just run!¡± Well of course she wasn¡¯t going to do that, not unless he agreed to come with her. This wind magic had already killed Rhys once, and the Ghurian soldier Wesley had returned with a vengeance. Given the direction of the wind, she judged him to be northwest of where they were facing. They needed to talk a plan out, and they couldn¡¯t do that with this carnage whirling around them. When she put a hand on his arm, Rhys¡¯ eyes widened with alarm. ¡°Don¡¯t¡ª¡± he cried out, but the hands of time had already been turned back, the two of them going to where they had stood ten minutes before, all deaths still accounted for. She didn¡¯t give him time to dwell. ¡°Listen. Much as we hate it, we can¡¯t go back to Udara with nothing to show.¡± Scrambling, Dorothea tried to make the best plan she could. They were beyond talking things out today; she had to accept that. ¡°Two options. We pinpoint his location and I reverse time so we can intercept him before he has the chance to attack. We keep trying until we can somehow beat him or get him to stand down. Or we find a place to hide and wait for him to do whatever he¡¯s doing, and then I come out and repair what¡¯s been destroyed.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll fight him head-on while you find somewhere to hide.¡± No way he didn¡¯t know as well as she did that that was a horrible idea. ¡°I have to use Eternal Rosemary for us to win, Rhys. There¡¯s no getting around it now.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± he insisted. ¡°Not if you run.¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t intend to go anywhere without you,¡± Dorothea stated. ¡°So which is it? We both go or we both stay?¡± ¡°You go and I stay.¡± They didn¡¯t have time for this! ¡°Stop being so stubborn! Tell me exactly how you¡¯ll win then, especially without my help. His attacks can cut right through yours, both of you know it, and it¡¯s doubtful you¡¯d be able to get him with your freezing trick while he¡¯s in the air lashing out at you. He also won¡¯t give you the chance to use his ice magic against him anymore. You¡¯re at the disadvantage.¡± After glaring for a few tense moments, he swore under his breath. ¡°I know where we can go.¡± Taking a sharp right and keeping a firm hold on one of her wrists, he guided them back towards the entrance. Though Dorothea half expected him to take them up to one of the watchtowers, Rhys instead headed towards a small hut that was nestled against the wall, hidden in a small copse of trees. Inside it appeared to be nothing more than a sparsely furnished sitting room. A beat-up couch sat beside a table that held a bowl of lemons and a fearsome chopping knife. Dorothea¡¯s eye was drawn to a plywood fixture on the wall opposite the doorway. From silver pegs hung tools of all sorts: pliers, a short saw, hammer, mallet, rope, twine, odd clamps, doodads with rotatable parts¡­ Sharkie would know what they were all actually called. Rhys veered left to a lengthy floral tapestry, flinging it aside to reveal a staircase. After he gestured for her to descend, a sharp scent started to tickle Dorothea¡¯s nose. It was a bitter, stale odor that grew in intensity the further they went until they had emerged into a different room. There was a vacant chair in one corner, and that was all. ¡°Rhys¡­?¡± The unknown purposes present here were making her skin crawl. ¡°Just keep going.¡± Another set of stairs took them down to a long hallway filled with narrow cells. The floor of each cell angled downwards to meet in the middle at a small drainage grate. At this point, even Dorothea couldn¡¯t remain ignorant as to the nature of this place. ¡°Is all this a¡­a big torture chamber?¡± she whispered. ¡°We call all of these rooms collectively the Catacombs,¡± Rhys explained. ¡°There¡¯s one in Udara too. Prisoners are kept here. Interrogation, whatnot. You can imagine. But, er, try not to.¡± ¡°Gods¡­¡± She imagined that the next pit would have raw skeletons dangling on hooks from the ceiling, bloody handprints dragging in streaks along the walls, but it was nothing so cartoonishly horrid. The final descent led them into¡­a bedroom? It was beyond jarring. From a canopy bed flowed a frilly white overhang, and white lace pillowcases stood out glaringly against silky hot-pink covers with endless rose applicades. The walls were lined to the brim with shelves of delicate porcelain dolls staring blankly out from beneath bonnets and feathering eyelashes. Somehow this was the worst one yet. ¡°Why in the name of the Gods is this here?¡± Dorothea demanded in a squeak. ¡°Would you rather sit in one of the other rooms?¡± Rhys asked. ¡°Not, uh, not particularly¡­¡± The others were so real; this one at least flabbergasted her enough to make it more bearable. ¡°I don¡¯t know how long we¡¯re going to be stuck here. You might want to get comfortable.¡± She followed suit as he sat with his back against the door. ¡°You say that like either of us could.¡± ¡°Point.¡± They were still, so still as they listened, Dorothea with her head bowed towards her chest and gaze trained on her clasped hands, Rhys looking forward with his eyes narrowed in concentration. It came less quickly than anticipated, the smash and crash of Izozkia¡¯s destruction. Wesley was checking for survivors, Dorothea realized, whereas he hadn¡¯t originally. Likely in the first go-around he¡¯d seen them from his high vantage point while using his magic to vault in and had decided to strike while he had the drop on them. Now he would witness the full extent of what she and Rhys had done. The passage of time felt separate from them due to their position underground. When the destruction started, she only realized she was jumping at the sounds when Rhys¡¯ fingertips brushed her forearm. She looked up to meet his questioning gaze and nodded; she was fine. After she returned his expression, he nodded too. That exchange was all they needed, and they returned to listening, waiting. Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. After a particular eternity, the crashing gales faded. With another shared glance and a nod, they agreed that Dorothea¡¯s role was to begin. The very building they had hidden in had been destroyed. Rhys seemed to worry about being buried beneath the rubble for a few moments before remembering it was of no consequence to Dorothea. He watched, marveling as pieces floated back to their original location in time¡¯s rewind. They stepped into the ruins, bathed by a waning sunset. Every dwelling down to the last splinter was put back together to perfection. The watchtowers stood tall once again, flowers and trees creeping back into life. The corpses, she had to ignore. They had been sliced to ribbons by Wesley''s magic. More than once, Dorothea¡¯s boot came down on something soft, slippery and wet, and she swallowed down bile and self-revulsion while forcing herself not to look. As reversing the time on objects without a life force was easier than those with, it took far longer than it had in the original battle at Izozkia for the same symptom of a nosebleed to appear. Though she tried to hide it from Rhys, he noticed when she ducked her face to her sleeve. ¡°Time to take a break,¡± he said grimly. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll be fine.¡± She tried to sound confident, but exhaustion leaked through. Rhys remained silent even though his dissatisfaction was emanating. The nosebleed only got worse as they moved on, rising in its profusion as it gradually blended with dizziness. When the last scar in the ground had been closed, the last brick righted, Dorothea dropped down to sit with a gasp. It had been a long time since she¡¯d had to do so much repair; not since a particularly savage snowstorm several years ago in Sirpo had so much needed mending. Rhys bent down next to her. ¡°Just breathe. Tilt your chin up to stop the bleeding. Or was it that you¡¯re not supposed to tilt your head back¡­?¡± He peered in when she kept her head bowed, hands covering her nose and mouth. ¡°Hey. Are you okay? Woah!¡± he gasped when she pushed him away and rose onto her knees with her hands splayed on the ground. The feeling of her stomach flipping and then gathering a heavy mass at its bottom before sending it upwards in a bitter rush tore through Dorothea. A clear puddle of vomit rushed up her nose to choke her as she bowed her head over the mess and retched. Dimly, she felt Rhys gather her hair. When she sat back, gasping and wiping at the wetness around her mouth and nose and the cold sweat on her forehead, he searched her eyes with bewildered concern. ¡°Is this always what it¡¯s like¡­?¡± Dorothea grasped her left wrist with her right hand to try and get both arms to stop trembling. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m fine. Let¡¯s go.¡± Taking a break here wouldn¡¯t help. The only thing that would was a long rest, and they¡¯d been away from Udara for too long in the first place. Sunlight had faded from them now, leaving the sky a tapestry of dark navy with hues of violet. ¡°Are you sure?¡± ¡°We can¡¯t stay here.¡± ¡°Tell me if you need a break.¡± He pulled her up and kept a cautionary hand hovering near her back as they trudged onward. The steps were always the same. Nosebleed. Dizziness. Vomit. Loss of consciousness. Recovery. Rinse, repeat. Until the day her body didn¡¯t recover, like her mother¡¯s hadn¡¯t. Until the very day she shattered from the inside out. But she wasn¡¯t the only one in pain right now. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It happened to you again¡­¡± Just like six years ago with Sharee, he had gone in and killed and gained new burdens. If they didn¡¯t figure something out, this cycle would only continue, not just for him but for everyone. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Rhys¡¯ voice was so gentle that it made her want to cry. Did he ever spare any of that gentleness for himself? ¡°We¡¯ll make it through.¡± So they would keep going with no other solutions? That hollow way of living couldn¡¯t be her answer to Gren Fall¡¯s words. But was there a different answer out there, and could she grasp it with her meager strength if it appeared? How could both sides get what they needed? Wait. Gren Fall. If Wesley had come to aid his allies as they were under siege, then didn¡¯t it reason he wouldn¡¯t have come alone? ¡°Rhys, we need to go check on¡­¡± But he¡¯d stopped moving, freezing in his tracks under the archway that served as the entrance into the fort. ¡°Ah.¡± Gren Fall was sitting on the ground next to the dead bodies of Shark, Cerid and Ariana. When he saw Rhys and Dorothea, he hopped to his feet and brushed himself off. ¡°So. Am I to take it this is your answer?¡± Dorothea was barely conscious, much less alert, which didn¡¯t help in the face of a man she was instantly convinced was about to kill them both. All she managed was a choked stutter. He stayed perfectly still, but the knives resting in their holster upon his thigh glinted faintly with threat. ¡°Is it?¡± he pressed without inflection after a few long beats of silence. ¡°I¡­¡± Dorothea croaked. ¡°I don¡¯t know what the answer needs to be,¡± she said truthfully. ¡°No matter what choice we make, someone gets hurt. I¡­ I don¡¯t know if there¡¯s another way.¡± ¡°I see.¡± He turned to look over his shoulder. ¡°Wesley, come on.¡± The grinning boy¡¯s advance from the darkness made her tremble. ¡°Wait, please! Please, just¡­ I don¡¯t know anything. Give me time to figure this out. Not a lot of time, but a little bit.¡± ¡°I say we kill ¡®em,¡± Wesley suggested with a smirk. ¡°No.¡± Gren put a hand on his comrade¡¯s back, and Wesley heaved a sigh. ¡°I know it might come to that. But not yet.¡± Not yet. If Gren Fall earnestly decided not to hold back anymore¡­ The disaster that would bring on Sacer would far eclipse the epidemic. So why hadn¡¯t he destroyed it all by now? Even someone like me wants to avoid killing when he can. He was just one person. He didn¡¯t know the way forward, same as the rest of them. ¡°I¡¯ll find the answer,¡± Dorothea promised. ¡°I¡¯ll find it soon. I promise.¡± He met her eyes across the clearing. ¡°Okay.¡± Then he looked down at her dead friends. ¡°Sorry. They wouldn¡¯t listen.¡± Dorothea could imagine the scene easily. Not many people would stop to hear someone like Gren out rather than immediately going for the kill. The only reason she¡¯d listened to him previously was because she¡¯d been too scared to move. ¡°I understand.¡± Nine months gone, then. Why was she so fragile? Why couldn''t she do more? She promised answers, but the odds of her body even letting her were¡­ No. She had to believe there was a way. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll get back to you soon.¡± Gren searched her face, and Dorothea found herself holding her breath. There was something about him, not caused by fear or intimidation, that made every nerve on her body feel electrified. She wanted to believe that his strength and the chance he¡¯d given her could amount to something. ¡°We don¡¯t have much time,¡± he said quietly. ¡°This is the last chance I can give you.¡± Dorothea nodded, and Gren dipped his head before he and Wesley vanished into darkness. Rhys staggered as the tension left both his and Dorothea¡¯s bodies, and he let out a long, uncharacteristic string of curses. Dorothea stumbled to Shark first, letting out a sob when they jerked back to life. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± they said, immediately moving towards comforting her. ¡°You¡¯re okay, we¡¯re okay, that¡¯s all that matters.¡± ¡°Shark¡­!¡± she sniffled. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry, I shouldn¡¯t have left you alone!¡± ¡°It¡¯s all gonna turn out okay, but we¡¯ve got more to do. Come on, Thea, take it second by second if you have to. You¡¯ve got this.¡± Even such little words from them gave her endless strength to keep going. She crawled to Cerid, then Ariana. ¡°I am sorry,¡± Cerid said ruefully. ¡°Because of our failure, you have had to¡­¡± Ariana nodded. ¡°Me too. Er, I¡¯m¡­sorry.¡± The words sounded like they were incredibly hard to say, so Dorothea appreciated them more because of that. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she assured them. ¡°I¡¯d do it again, as many times as it takes.¡± She wanted to protect them. Finding something worth giving your life for¡­ Was that what living was meant to be? Was that¡­maybe how her mother had felt? Shark wrapped an arm around her waist to help her stand. ¡°Come on, I¡¯ve got you.¡± Like that, she was hoisted into their arms and the group began the long trek back to Udara. This was only one step, Dorothea knew, in the larger battle that awaited them. The suspicion she¡¯d been feeling dormantly since speaking to Gren for the first time that what form that struggle took depended on her actions had bloomed into certainty. Yes, the future was uncertain, and she had to find a way to change its course completely. 21. Primroses Sympathy After leaving Dorothea and the others behind at that disgustingly opulent mansion of Cerid¡¯s that night, Ariana retreated home. Her shack was nestled out of sight near the pungent farmlands on Udara¡¯s outskirts, so no one really came by. This suited her just fine. To liven the place up, she¡¯d recently taken to crocheting. Bungled doilies laid here and there; she wasn¡¯t sure what to do with them. Tonight, not in the mood for more failure, she unveiled the journal she¡¯d thieved from the Atlin home in Sirpo and rested it on her lap. Naturally, she started with the first entry: Dear Dorothea, Now that you¡¯ve been born, I wanted to start this journal for the both of us. This magic will take from you, and it will break us both someday, but I know that what I¡¯ve chosen is right. We have it for a reason, and we are bound by honor to protect others. Always remember that, my darling. I¡¯ll note down everything I discover so that you won¡¯t waste any of your precious time. One day, when you have children and they have children in turn, hopefully they¡¯ll have all the answers they need to live as long and as fruitfully as possible. Your father, though you¡¯ll never meet him, is already so proud of you. We both love you, my dear, and I¡¯ll do everything I can to give you a beautiful life. First, to win the War of Blending. With all my heart, Your mother, Ophelia Atlin, Year 1171 Interesting. Dorothea had been directed to give her life to serve others from the very start. Her mother probably meant that altruism was the best way to live a full life, but Ariana could see how it might give a young orphan some issues. She flipped next to review a page that was sticking out of the book. Seemed it had been ripped out and tucked back into the folds later on. Additionally, it was the only entry she saw that wasn¡¯t formatted as a letter. Dorothea has fallen ill once again. My sweet girl doesn¡¯t complain anymore, not since the tree incident, but she¡¯s in pain. Today, the fourth day, she was able to stomach food. She is so weak, but no matter how she feels, she just looks at me and says it¡¯s okay. By the Gods, it seems almost inhumane to have brought her into the world. Today, a man from Sacer came. Cinder Creed. It¡¯s a shame my old friend Cadby had a hand in spawning such a creature. All seriousness. He laughed at not one of my jokes and asked me for help in fighting a war mere minutes into tea. He¡¯s certain that another conflict is coming between the ones below. I refused him, and the look on his face was rather entertaining as he left. I think he was certain I would agree. To be honest, my weakness is the only thing stopping me. I¡¯m a terrible mother, wanting to leave Dorothea like this. However, it still stands that the plight of we Atlins is also our duty. The way my daughter looks at me sometimes with a desperate hatred and longing seems to indicate she disagrees. It is an expression that begs me to be selfish, to stay with her no matter what. But this magic is meant to be used in service to others, regardless of my fate. I must hide this entry so that my daughter never reads it. Ophelia Atlin, Year 1179 Wow. What a savior complex this lady had. But it made sense she¡¯d wanted to conceal the entry. It wouldn¡¯t have been pleasant for Dorothea to read about her mother feeling sorry she¡¯d been born. Ariana shook her head and let out an exasperated groan. No. She wasn''t going to pity her, not after she¡¯d had a hand in forcing Dorothea here in the first place. A page tore some along the spine as she angrily flipped to the last entry available, and she flinched at the sound. I¡¯m now the leader of Sirpo, or so everyone says. Mom is gone. The council says the war between the ones below will destroy us if I don¡¯t protect everyone. No matter where I go, there will be someone who needs me to take something back for their sake. I may as well stay here where it¡¯s quiet if that¡¯s the case. I need Mom here with me. Why didn¡¯t she stay? I¡¯m scared. I¡¯m alone. Why wasn¡¯t I enough to make her stay? And then, all scratched out and smudged with dried spots of moisture but still legible due to its size and darkness: I hate her I hate her I HATE HER I HATE HER Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. Then the entry continued, but only briefly. There will always be another war, another knock on our door and another plea for help. It won¡¯t be like how Mom wanted. The line will end with me. No one else will have to get hurt. Dorothea Atlin, Year 1180 So this was the real Dorothea. A child forced into an adult¡¯s position and mindset. Spiteful and scared, filled with hatred for a mother who had been ripped apart by her good intentions. Dorothea had taken all that in and given up to living shortly and dying painfully in Sirpo. Joining the Sacerians may very well have been the first choice she made because it was something she genuinely wanted to do, but Iree had manipulated even that in the end. It should have felt good for Ariana to have her suspicions about the girl¡¯s lack of character confirmed, but it just didn¡¯t. None of them were any better than each other. Ariana had been so mad at Dorothea for her inaction, but it wasn¡¯t like she herself was putting anything good into the world. In fact, she was in large part of blame for pushing Dorothea more quickly towards her death. There wasn¡¯t much she could do no matter how she felt. People only got one chance, and she¡¯d already gone too far to turn back or believe she could be anything better. * The day after Izozkia¡¯s retrieval, soldiers moved out from Udara to help its people settle back in with the rations that had been provided. Everywhere Iree looked, there was a newfound pep in everyone¡¯s step. It had taken some convincing at that morning¡¯s council meeting, but she¡¯d gotten the day declared a holiday. The wrong had been righted, and there was a sense of safety knowing Rhys and Dorothea were back in line. Iree was beyond relieved. She couldn¡¯t reinstate Rhys as her captain since that damage had already been done, but it was good to have him back. The Rhys that could and would destroy anything and everything in his path without thinking twice was the one she needed. Most soldiers spent their time off at home with their families, washing as much of the strain they could away. In the evening, the collective army agreed, they would meet in the outfitted basement of the Creed mansion to celebrate with an evening of gluttonizing and boozing. Such indulgences were seldom afforded; they¡¯d take all they could. There was one thing Iree was determined to take for herself. Rhys was slipping away, and she needed him in place. Atlin was the one to blame¡ªIree was starting to think she was much more trouble than she was worth. Now, how to drive a wedge between them? Luckily, she knew Rhys¡¯ heart better than anyone, so she knew just the words to manipulate it. * Rhys couldn¡¯t move. He could barely breathe. He couldn''t tell what time it was, but he didn¡¯t remember a point in his life he¡¯d been allowed to sleep in so late. The notion that there wasn¡¯t much point in moving prevailed. If possible, it would be nice to rot here and be released. His deeds at Izozkia. They were all going to be so happy. So proud of him. But those people, what he¡¯d done¡­ There was only one person in his narrow world he felt might understand. If he could just get to his feet and make it to her, then¡­ But it was so hard to move. Bed was such a safe place. If he stayed put, he wouldn¡¯t have to face anyone. Their judgements or their expectations. Guilt, sympathy, shame. A soldier couldn¡¯t give in to these things. It was unforgivable, all weakness was. He was supposed to feel wonderful and accomplished. He needed to get up and accept their praise, go along with whatever happened next. Stand. Get cleaned up. Put on a smile. He managed to do that and was in the middle of putting the kettle on the stove for tea when an insistent knock pounded against the front door. ¡°Rhysy!¡± Iree called. ¡°You up? I¡¯m coming in either way!¡± He¡¯d always hated that nickname, but he¡¯d kept quiet since Iree and Sharee had always liked it. ¡°Iree. Hi,¡± he greeted lamely as she strutted into his home. In a flash, her arms were around his neck. ¡°I¡¯m so proud of you.¡± He kept his arms stiff at his sides. ¡°Thanks.¡± She backed off, frowning. ¡°What¡¯s the matter with you? Come on, you¡¯re king of the world for the day! Seriously, a lot of people are impressed.¡± He forced a smile. ¡°I¡¯m just worried about Dorothea.¡± Her face fell before she laughed, too loud. ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s fine! Olyen and Creed are watching her like hawks. Just let her rest.¡± She chattered on, looping her arm with his. Pressing her chest against him. ¡°You¡¯re coming to the celebration tonight. I already told lots of people you¡¯d make an appearance. At least come along and accept their thanks.¡± So he had no choice. ¡°I¡¯ll be there.¡± ¡°Rhys, seriously, snap out of it. You¡¯re gonna ruin everyone¡¯s mood if you keep being like that.¡± She pinched his cheeks to drag his mouth into a smile. The kettle started whistling, so he had a good excuse to turn away from her. Iree showed no signs of leaving. She grabbed two cups and placed them on the table, then took a seat. And she was still talking. ¡°Olyen¡¯s pretty pissed at me, you know. Pfft. Whatever.¡± Had she cared about the consequences for Dorothea before sending her to Izozkia? Rhys returned to the table and poured their drinks, trying to arrange his words. ¡°Iree¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s amazing, the burden that¡¯s on her shoulders,¡± Iree noted. ¡°She¡¯s got a nation to lead after all this. War, then rebuilding all by herself? Insane. I can¡¯t imagine trying to hold it all together. If I were her, I wouldn¡¯t be able to handle any more burdens than absolutely necessary.¡± Rhys froze. Burdens. That was right. Dorothea had so much weighing on her, and he was only compounding those frustrations. He wanted to talk to her so badly, get all of these dark feelings off his chest. But what right did he have to throw them at her? Iree was right. He was being selfish. He was just being a burden by reaching out like that. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± he said quietly. ¡°We should leave her alone.¡± When Iree touched his cheek, he didn¡¯t even have the energy to flinch away. Though he didn¡¯t like to be touched. Not by her. ¡°I want you by my side forever, Rhys. I want you to be happy.¡± He didn¡¯t know if he was capable of it anymore. If it was as easy as putting on a smile and shrugging everything off, he¡¯d have been okay by now. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about what you said. About Mom not being proud of us.¡± Iree smiled gently. ¡°I think she¡¯d be proud no matter what. Because we¡¯re here, we¡¯re together. As long as it¡¯s the two of us and we keep fighting, everything will be okay. Right?¡± He owed the Nobelises so much. He felt so guilty when he thought about wanting to tear away from everything he¡¯d ever known. If Iree didn¡¯t have him, she¡¯d be alone in her grief for Sharee. He couldn¡¯t do that to her, dishonoring Sharee¡¯s memory in the process. He wanted to. He wanted to think for himself and breathe for once, but he just¡­couldn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t see any way out. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± he said, feeling as if he was fully submerged in freezing water. 22. Clematis Rest Dorothea woke with a start. Her body was coated in sweat, a hot layer that spoke to a fever now weathered as her body had recovered. It was disorienting, and she couldn¡¯t be sure how long she had slept or what had happened in her absence. Dreading that another attack and more death had befallen the Sacerians, she sat up and looked around wildly, throwing the blankets off and getting ready to run, though to where she wasn¡¯t sure. Shark and Cerid were there with a deck of cards spread between them on the floor, the former grinning with relief and the latter waving his hands wildly as if to tell her everything was fine. ¡°Thea!¡± Shark tackled her in a hug. ¡°You haven¡¯t missed anything. We¡¯re all good.¡± She relaxed, giving them a squeeze. ¡°Good¡­¡± She smiled at Cerid over Shark¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Hi, Cerid.¡± ¡°Good morning. Afternoon, rather. Uh, early evening.¡± Gods, she¡¯d been out for a while. ¡°What¡¯s happened since we got back?¡± Shark sat next to her with an arm around her shoulders. ¡°Rhys brought you back here and reported to Iree. Everyone¡¯s been moved back to their homes at Izozkia. It¡¯s all good.¡± Not really, but she forced a smile. ¡°All right¡­¡± ¡°There is a celebration tonight,¡± Cerid informed her. ¡°I believe your presence will be expected.¡± He frowned. ¡°You still do not look well¡­ I shall inform Commander Nobelis that you cannot attend, if you wish.¡± ¡°Hold on. A celebration?¡± Cerid nodded, not looking all that excited either. ¡°I believe it is an effort on Commander Nobelis¡¯ part to increase morale.¡± Shark laughed. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not going to that shitshow. We can all sit here and chill out.¡± ¡°No, I¡­¡± Rhys. She got the sense he¡¯d try to stomach it. She wanted to be there to help if he ended up needing it. ¡°I¡¯ll go. This whole thing has been about proving myself to Iree, so I need to follow through.¡± Shark scoffed. ¡°Bullshit. Of course you¡¯re on our side. You want those Ghurians dealt with the same as all of us, the sooner the better.¡± Their words struck her as strange, but she opted not to press in that moment. Best to just get through tonight. ¡°You two have a good chance here,¡± she noted. ¡°Go have some quality time while everyone else is busy.¡± Cerid blushed, and Shark grinned. ¡°Fine idea!¡± they said. ¡°Whatcha think, buddy?¡± Cerid¡¯s blush spread to his ears and neck as he nodded. Shark stood and bent over Dorothea, searching her face. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay?¡± ¡°Yeah, I promise.¡± She was as good as she was going to get. ¡°You¡¯ve already spent enough time fawning over me, now go have fun.¡± Shark kissed her forehead. ¡°Well¡­fine, you win. We¡¯ll be in the library if you need us, okay? That work for you, Cerid?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± He tilted his head at Dorothea. ¡°Truly. If you need or desire anything at all, come to us. Do not hesitate.¡± She smiled. ¡°Thank you.¡± The library, huh? She wondered what kind of information she might find there. Maybe¡­ Would there be anything about the Ghurians? She¡¯d have to follow that thread later. After Cerid and Shark told her what time the party started in the repurposed gargantuan basement of Cerid¡¯s home, she had just enough time to get cleaned up and head down as the crowd gathered. The thrumming noise wafting up the stairs gave her pause. She was an outsider here, definitely. But it¡¯d be fine, right? She¡¯d say a few hellos, fake some smiles, raid the inevitable snack table and hightail it out of there, easy as pie. She almost ran away the second her feet hit the floor. The space was aching with the heat of body against body as the soldiers leaned against one another, talking and laughing with their tall wine glasses sloshing about. Dorothea could barely think straight through the swelling hum. Soldiers gambled over cards, played music and tipped the players, and in the corners and along walls, multiple pairs and trios were¡­ Yep, she wanted to leave. She was trapped the moment she was noticed. Iree bounded up to her, eyes shining. ¡°Good, you¡¯re here. Come with me.¡± She was pulled to a long table, and a glass of deep-purple wine was pushed into her hand. ¡°Um, Iree¡­¡± The commander followed her gaze to the sidelines. ¡°Geez, calm down. They¡¯re just making out.¡± She laughed. ¡°You should try it out. Loosening up would do you some good.¡± ¡°Wha¡ª¡± Iree dragged her off again. They stepped between legs and over heads to the opposite side of the room, where Iree climbed on top of a couch, playfully nudging other soldiers out of the way. ¡°Iree, I don¡¯t¡ª¡± Dorothea stumbled as she was dragged up with her, and a few tipsy soldiers below her laughed and crowed as they saw up her skirt. ¡°Iree please, let me down¡­!¡± she whispered desperately as her cheeks burned with humiliation. ¡°Hey, listen up!¡± Iree boomed, and all got quiet. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve celebrated like this, and we¡¯ve got some people to thank before you all go back to what you were doing.¡± A few whoops rose up, and she grinned. ¡°Rhys, come here.¡± He was already halfway across the room, scowling, but her words made him freeze up. Then he shook his head and finished his approach, receiving a hard clap on the back from the commander when he got close enough, also being pulled up to stand next to her on the couch cushions. ¡°As you know, these two singlehandedly reclaimed Izozkia for us,¡± Iree announced. ¡°To keep it short¡­ Rhys, we¡¯re glad to have you back, and we¡¯ll keep being inspired by your strength and bravery. Dorothea, you¡¯ve lived up to the hope you were meant to be in coming here. Our eyes are on you to help lead us into a new age of peace. Take a drink to them everyone, and then get back to your fun.¡± A roar rose up, and heads tilted back as glasses were downed. ¡°And if any of you get wild ideas, take it somewhere else! I¡¯m not going to have a repeat of last time¡¯s incident!¡± Iree concluded, and with much laughter, the party resumed. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it ¡°Incident¡­¡± Dorothea echoed, winded. ¡°Best not to think about it,¡± Rhys muttered. ¡°Just relax, both of you. This is a night of celebration.¡± Iree slapped both of their backs once more for good measure before leaping off the couch and making rounds through the mill. Relax? Dorothea wasn¡¯t so sure. Now that they had supposedly proven themselves loyal, Iree wouldn¡¯t just let go of their leashes. Nervous, she dared a small peek at Rhys. He was avoiding her gaze. Then he muttered, ¡°Screw it,¡± and held out his hand. ¡°Come on.¡± She took it, accepting his help getting down. He guided her towards the stairs, dodging through the crowd. They got called out a few times, but he ignored it and so did she. Emboldened by a sense of seething anger, Dorothea seized an entire cake from the snack table. The wine, she left behind. She let out a long, exasperated sigh once they were back in the foyer. ¡°Well. Hated that.¡± Rhys tucked both hands into his pockets. ¡°Want to go for a walk?¡± he asked. ¡°Being down there makes me want to scream.¡± ¡°Me too. Let¡¯s go.¡± She took a deep breath of night air, thick with heat, once they escaped outside. Rhys hesitated before speaking carefully. ¡°I saw what happened. Sorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡± She smiled as they stepped outside and started ambling down the city¡¯s wide main road. ¡°At least we have cake!¡± He laughed, a small one that she was still glad to hear. ¡°Glad you¡¯re feeling better.¡± Not entirely. ¡°Rhys¡­ How much trouble are we in? About Iree.¡± ¡°There¡¯s not much we can do. Iree¡¯s set the standard. Besides, it¡¯s no secret to anyone that I¡¯m not as good as I used to be. She¡¯s not alone in feeling I can¡¯t be trusted.¡± He glanced at her. ¡°But how are you really? Your condition, I mean.¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m fine.¡± At his doubtful frown, she smiled and gave him a thumbs up. ¡°I promise!¡± ¡°If you say so.¡± He noticed that she¡¯d started to stare at him. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You look¡­different.¡± She¡¯d noticed that many of the soldiers had dressed up for the occasion. Rhys, by contrast, had dialed down and was clad in a simple tank top and baggy shorts. Strands of his hair were sticking out in all directions; it clearly hadn¡¯t been brushed. In all, he was bedraggled. He snorted. ¡°I¡¯ll pretend that¡¯s a compliment.¡± ¡°Sorry.¡± ¡°I figured if I had to come, it¡¯s enough just to be somewhat presentable.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t like parties?¡± He frowned. ¡°Huh. I used to love them. I¡¯d usually¡­ Never mind. Didn¡¯t really feel like it this time, though.¡± ¡°Me either¡­¡± Dorothea tried to rub the warmth from her cheeks. ¡°I-If I¡¯d known what kind of big lascivious celebration Iree was throwing, I wouldn¡¯t have come.¡± Rhys smiled, trying not to laugh. ¡°Lascivious?¡± ¡°You saw what those people were doing!¡± ¡°Yeah. Pretty normal stuff, you prude,¡± he teased. Normal, huh? Well yes, for other people it would be. Still, Dorothea shook her head and shoved his arm. ¡°I¡¯m not a prude,¡± she laughed. It wasn¡¯t like she didn¡¯t want to¡­ ¡°But, uh, more importantly, what should we do now? About Iree, about Ghuria and Gren Fall, about everything?¡± ¡°Can I ask you something about that?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Are you at this point fully convinced that the Ghurians didn¡¯t destroy Sirpo? That¡¯s the only way I can make sense of how you¡¯ve been acting.¡± Well if that wasn¡¯t the question of the century. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m trying to figure that out. Truth be told, Gren Fall told me they didn¡¯t do it during that first fight at Izozkia. That¡¯s mainly why I had us all back down. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s true, but¡­ What do you think?¡± In other words, was Iree capable of telling a lie like that? Rhys understood her implication. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Iree is¡­ She¡¯s still my family, even if I can¡¯t understand her sometimes.¡± He paused, looking blankly up at the sky before continuing. ¡°Iree wants to create a world without war, one that will honor Mom. Sharee. I don¡¯t know if anything is above her in pursuit of that goal. But I want to believe in her.¡± ¡°Rhys¡­¡± He was going through enough. ¡°Leave it to me. I¡¯m going to think of a way to get to the bottom of this. Until then, will you hold tight?¡± ¡°I¡­ Yeah.¡± She didn¡¯t know what to do for him. Despite being beside her, he felt far away. ¡°By the way,¡± she asked in too bright a voice, ¡°where are we going?¡± ¡°My place,¡± he said simply. ¡°I¡¯ll just cook something to go with your spoils¡±¡ªhe glanced at her with a slight smile¡ª¡°and maybe we can relax.¡± ¡°Oh, okay. Can I help?¡± She loved to cook. After taking care of herself all these years, she liked to think she was pretty good at it. Shark certainly had no complaints when it was her turn to bring dinner over. ¡°Sure.¡± Rhys lived on the outskirts of Udara¡¯s business district in a small apartment complex. The front door opened straight to the kitchen area, the bathroom and bedroom visible down a short hallway. It felt comfortable, a lot like going over to Shark¡¯s had. Those cozy days almost felt permanently behind them now. Rhys¡¯ shoulders slumped as if he¡¯d been making a conscious effort to stand straight in public. ¡°Been a long few days.¡± ¡°Are you okay?¡± She took a step closer to him, uncertain. He turned to her with a smile. ¡°I¡¯m fine. Good, really.¡± That smile didn¡¯t reach his eyes, and the feeling of wanting to reach out to him more than anything came rushing back. ¡°Rhys,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Can I hug you? It¡¯s okay if not, I just feel like you need one.¡± ¡°Wha¡­ Huh?¡± He looked taken aback. ¡°You don¡¯t like to be touched, right? So if I was going to do it at all, I figured I should ask. Um, but I understand you not wanting to. Sorry to make things awkward.¡± ¡°No, I¡­¡± Hesitantly, he put his arms out. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± She hugged him gingerly, resting her forehead against his chest. He stiffened for a second before relaxing. ¡°It¡¯s okay to say you¡¯re not okay,¡± Dorothea said. His heartbeat was sluggish, as if it was running out of will to sustain him. ¡°That¡¯s easier said than done.¡± His voice cracked, and he shuddered. His hands grasped at the back of her dress, clamping her to him, and he buried his face in her hair. ¡°I¡¯m weak,¡± he said quietly. ¡°I know¡­ I tried, I know I need to stay away from you, I just¡­ The second I saw you in any sort of trouble at all, my resolve crumbled. Please just tell me to stay away from you so I¡¯ll be strong enough.¡± ¡°Rhys, where did you get that idea? That¡¯s not what I want at all.¡± It was almost like he didn¡¯t hear her. ¡°All I do is weigh you all down¡­ I¡¯ll drag you with me, if that happened, if anything else happened to you because of me, if you have to give up any more because of how weak I am, I¡­¡± His voice was as small and fragile as a butterfly¡¯s wing. Something beautiful torn and crushed so easily. Even by those who would admire it while trying to capture it so violently. ¡°I deserve to be alone. I need to be alone.¡± The two of them were so similar, and it made Dorothea want to cry. ¡°Rhys. No. That¡¯s not true. There¡¯s¡­¡± She hesitated. Would this help? The words coming to her lips had only ever been spoken to one other person. But Rhys needed to understand, she needed him to understand how valuable his presence was, just how much she had changed in part because of meeting him. ¡°Rhys. There¡¯s something¡­a story I¡¯d like to tell you. Is that okay?¡± He withdrew from her, hands grasping the edge of the table for support. ¡°Yeah.¡± She pulled out a chair and guided him into it first off, and he slumped down, looking up at her tiredly but attentively. Once she sat across from him, the recounting began. ¡°I watched when my mother died.¡± 23. Rosemarys Vow ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll understand if you don¡¯t have the image. It¡¯s like¡­¡± Even now, thinking about that day made Dorothea sick to her stomach. ¡°It¡¯s like when you put an ice cube in water. It fractures, but it¡¯s still whole at the same time. With my mother it was like¡­ The cracks inside her just kept spreading until¡­¡± Her breath hitched. ¡°Until I couldn¡¯t recognize her anymore.¡± But she hadn¡¯t recognized her for a long time before that. That woman withering away in her bed as magic-induced sickness wove through her, clawing to her very bones, wasn¡¯t her mother. ¡°It was a slow deterioration. She kept using her magic right until the end for Sirpo¡¯s people, taking breaks to stretch herself as long as possible¡­ But she did that for me, too. If I hadn¡¯t fallen from that tree, if I hadn¡¯t¡­ I¡­ I hastened her death. ¡°I understand now that she loved me and wouldn¡¯t have regretted anything. Because I¡­ When I think of you and Sharkie, and then Cerid and Ariana, if any of you are hurt, then I want to help. More than anything, I want to. But back then¡­ I was so angry and filled with hatred after my mother died. I promised I wouldn¡¯t do to anyone else what she did to me. I¡­¡± She retrained her tears, just barely. ¡°Right up to the moment she died, I hated her as much as I loved her. Because I¡­ I just wasn¡¯t enough to make her stay.¡± And that was the crux of it. Dorothea knew, she remembered from the feeling of her mother¡¯s thin arms around her, that she had been loved. Ophelia had been happy to share her life with her daughter. She had just been happy to give up her life for others too, even if it meant orphaning her child. That grief and rage, so long withheld, had now found relief. Dorothea, like her mother, had found something, and several someones, worth giving up her life for. ¡°I had promised myself,¡± she said to bring the tale full circle, ¡°that I wouldn¡¯t burden anyone else with that resentment and hatred. If I never made anyone love me, I wouldn¡¯t make them feel like I did back then. I tried hard to keep everyone out, but I couldn¡¯t help myself. I keep wanting more people. I want more friends, I want to fall in love. I want to have the strength to chase everything I might have ever dreamed of. I want to tie my life to other people¡¯s. ¡°I thought my friendship and love were tainted because I¡¯d die before them and leave them with that grief, alone¡­ But no matter how much we think we burden others, these connections we¡¯ve made are important and worthwhile. I¡¯m so happy I got to meet you, Rhys. I¡¯m so glad I got to become your friend. I wouldn¡¯t change that at all.¡± It was okay to keep reaching out no matter the weight lives brought when they touched each other. It was worth bearing; she was worth bearing, and so was Rhys. ¡°So please, never think you deserve to be alone.¡± He bowed his head, trying to hide from her view. ¡°Can I¡­really believe you?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t make that choice for you, but I¡¯ll say over and over, as many times as you need to, that you¡¯re worth everything.¡± His eyes were bright with tears that he quickly blinked away. ¡°Okay¡­ I hear you.¡± He sniffed and dragged his arm across his eyes before standing and pulling her to her feet, circling the table for them to meet in the middle. ¡°Stay still for a second?¡± She nodded, and he dug in his pocket, withdrawing something small. Dorothea¡¯s breath caught as his hands came up to her neck. There came to be a newfound weight as he affixed something to her clothes, and it was obvious what it was. Sharee¡¯s memento, the faded lily, now on her. ¡°Oh Rhys, I can¡¯t accept this¡­¡± ¡°I want you to take it.¡± He put his hands on her shoulders. ¡°Please.¡± Her fingers drifted to its warmth. ¡°Okay. But if you change your mind, tell me and I¡¯ll give it back. I¡¯ll keep it safe in the meantime.¡± He nodded, smiling for a second before that same persistent tiredness seemed to rush through his body and drag him down again. What could she do to help keep that smile there? ¡°Hey, Rhys? I¡­ I¡¯m done feeling sorry for myself. ¡± Every moment from now on was one she needed to make the most of to move forward, for the sake of these people she had met and come to value so much. ¡°So I¡¯m going to find a way, okay? A world where you don¡¯t have to fight and feel sad anymore, where Sharkie and Cerid can be happy together, where¡­ Maybe where everyone can understand each other.¡± ¡°Dorothea, that¡¯s¡­¡± The downtrodden look on his face made it clear he didn¡¯t believe in it. The larger part of her still didn¡¯t either. She was scared, but giving in to that wouldn¡¯t get them anywhere. That was right. Her self-pity, her fear¡­ Gren Fall had seen instantly that she lived her life ruled by these things and warned her against them. His words, his actions¡­ He was fighting hard, looking for answers even though the roads both behind and ahead of them were so difficult. That strength had reached her, was now inspiring her. Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. A rush of feeling overtook her, overly warm and arresting. Just barely, and not understanding why, she stopped herself from uttering his name. She looked Rhys in the eyes. ¡°Try with me. Or even just watch me as I try. Can you do that?¡± He couldn¡¯t bear it much longer. That much was clear to her. ¡°I¡¯m going to learn what I can and figure a plan out. Will you please come with me? You don¡¯t need to do anything else. I¡¯ll find a way where you don¡¯t have to hurt anyone anymore.¡± He held onto her arms as if he couldn¡¯t stand by himself anymore. ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Thank you. That¡¯s for tomorrow, though,¡± she said gently. ¡°Tonight, just tell me what you need.¡± She studied his face to try to discern what that might be. He shook his head and stepped back. ¡°You should leave.¡± A wan smile curved on his mouth. ¡°Still time to salvage the evening.¡± ¡°I want to stay.¡± And that¡¯s what he wanted from her too, she realized. ¡°We still have a whole cake,¡± she added, trying to lighten the mood. The night had been a whirlwind of emotions, not that that wasn¡¯t her new normal. Things were bound to keep changing from now on too. ¡°Yeah.¡± He looked relieved and embarrassed for being so. ¡°I¡­want to rest,¡± he said haltingly. It wasn¡¯t the first time he¡¯d said that, but now she wondered how deep that desire went. ¡°Then let¡¯s get you to bed.¡± For this moment it was in her power to watch over him and be the best friend she could. That would have to be enough. She gestured for him to lead them down the hall. His bedroom was a little messy. There was a desk scattered with books, dozens of pages with their corners folded to mark. A dresser and closet, a small bookshelf, a table beside the bed, most surfaces scattered over with trinkets or loose papers and notes. Dorothea approached the bookshelf to learn his tastes and found a small stuffed toy sitting in one corner. Rhys turned on the lamp on the bedside table. ¡°Sharee gave that to me. I know it¡¯s childish, but¡­¡± He trailed off as Dorothea laughed. ¡°It¡¯s not childish. I have a teddy bear this big back home. Mr. Wink.¡± She stretched out her arms to show the toy¡¯s ridiculous size. ¡°Mr. Wink,¡± Rhys echoed with a light laugh. ¡°Cute.¡± He sat on the bed and let out a heavy breath, reaching up to untie his hair. Dorothea watched as he ran his hands through it, spreading it over his shoulders. ¡°How long have you been growing it out?¡± she asked. ¡°Huh? Oh.¡± He lifted a chunk to study it. ¡°I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s not something I decided on purpose. Just kind of happened, I guess.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a lot I don¡¯t know about you,¡± Dorothea realized aloud as she sat at the desk. ¡°Yeah. We haven¡¯t known each other that long.¡± He turned towards her and sat cross-legged. True. How long had she been in Sacer now? Not even two weeks, yet it felt as if the past eighteen years had been completely wasted in the meantime. ¡°Doesn¡¯t feel like it.¡± ¡°No,¡± he laughed softly. ¡°It really doesn¡¯t.¡± He rubbed at his eyes, letting out a small yawn. ¡°If there¡¯s anything you want to know, just ask. You already know the worst parts, so there¡¯s not much left for me to hide.¡± ¡°Same here.¡± Their relationship probably wasn¡¯t typical, or maybe it was flat-out abnormal, but they regarded each other with deep consideration and kindness. Nothing wrong with that, timing and intensity aside. ¡°Hey, I¡¯ll talk to you until you fall asleep. But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll stay here after.¡± He nodded, curling up under his blankets. ¡°Say more about yourself? The small things.¡± Dorothea marvelled at how small and delicate he looked. ¡°It won¡¯t be very interesting.¡± ¡°Do it anyways.¡± His breathing was already starting to slow, so she spoke quietly and paid attention to the steady rise of his chest. He made a few responses to what she said, but soon he stopped talking altogether, and she was certain he was asleep. ¡°Good night, Rhys,¡± she whispered. * Rhys blinked rapidly as he woke up in the middle of the night. He sat up and saw Dorothea, and his heart calmed. She was snoring softly, hair splashed by shafts of moonlight that poured in between slats on the blinds. Dorothea. She was so strong, so determined. All the fear she¡¯d been showing since the start, she was trying to rise above it in her own clumsy way. He wanted to cling to her and steal some of that strength. Somehow he had devolved to the point where he could barely take care of himself, barely work up the will to put one foot in front of the other. But that wouldn¡¯t be okay. It wasn¡¯t right to rely on another person to lift him up when he was utterly powerless to do so. Even as Dorothea said he wasn¡¯t a burden, it didn¡¯t help at all because he didn¡¯t believe it. It could easily become a leeching dependence, and he didn¡¯t want to do that to anyone. Especially not someone who had been such a good friend. He hated himself, felt selfish and dirty. Wasn¡¯t he just like a mosquito seeking blood by latching on to her and her kindness this way? He still was what he was: a monster, a murderer. He couldn¡¯t forgive himself, he couldn¡¯t figure out which way to turn, he couldn¡¯t even say what he wanted to do with his life and how he wanted to live. He just wasn¡¯t needed. That was the bottom line. If he wasn¡¯t there, no one would be burdened. He wouldn¡¯t burden them with his emotions and presence as he failed to find the strength to change himself. Dorothea could find her own answers without him. She was strong enough to do it; he believed in that absolutely. The world, the people he cared for and his enemies alike, they¡¯d all be better off if he was gone. He¡¯d never hurt anyone again. Everyone¡­ They¡¯d be just fine. 24. Azaleas Dream Dorothea had to find her answer as soon as possible, but part of her was so scared of making another mistake, of being misled further or making things worse, that she had a hard time leaving Rhys¡¯ place that morning. But she ate half the cake and did so anyways. Before anything, she had to get back to Cerid¡¯s. She crept out of without waking Rhys and rushed through the city without being bothered, but her luck ended when she was just outside the room she had in Cerid¡¯s home. Shark was tiptoeing down the hall at the same time as her from the direction of Cerid¡¯s room. Like her, they wore the same clothes they had yesterday, coated in wrinkles. They locked eyes, and Shark grinned. ¡°Walk of shame, eh Thea? Never thought I¡¯d see it. Course, I¡¯m the same.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it,¡± she laughed. To even consider Rhys in that way was just awkward. Like Shark, he felt solidly more like an sibling than a potential lover. ¡°Ha, yeah, I know. Well I hope you had a good night at least. Cerid and I had such a nice date, and he even let me¡­¡± They laughed. ¡°Never mind. He¡¯d die if I told you.¡± ¡°I would too.¡± Dorothea smiled, shaking her head. She¡¯d been skeptical when Shark had first told her about they and Cerid getting back together, but it seemed to be going well. All that mattered was that Shark was happy. ¡°Is Cerid awake too?¡± ¡°Ohhh yeah he is.¡± For some reason, this only made Shark¡¯s smile widen. ¡°Okay? Then I¡¯ll see you both for breakfast.¡± And then to the library. She didn¡¯t have much of a plan, but it was something. ¡°Uh¡­¡± As she watched Shark move past, she frowned. ¡°Are you all right?¡± The way they were walking was a little off-balance, as if they were in pain. But she¡¯d fully healed them the day before yesterday, hadn¡¯t she? So Shark had somehow gotten injured last night? ¡°Yuuup. Yup yup yup, yeah, no problem. Someday you¡¯ll understand, my sweet summer child.¡± They waddled into their room, leaving Dorothea to choose to stop wondering. She got to the dining room first after cleaning up, and someone already waited for her there. ¡°Good morning, Ariana.¡± ¡°Hey.¡± She frowned, meeting Dorothea¡¯s eyes for a second before her gaze darted away. ¡°Feeling better?¡± Dorothea smiled. In her own way, Ariana had warmed up to her. ¡°Yes. Thank you. How are you?¡± ¡°Same as always.¡± Even these mundane snippets felt like huge steps forward. Maybe Ariana would come to think of them as friends someday? Dorothea already thought of Cerid and her that way¡­ Her circle was expanding. ¡°Um, can I run something by you?¡± she said as she sat. ¡°Whatever.¡± But there was mild interest in her eyes. Dorothea got the sense that Ariana had a hard time saying what she really felt. ¡°I think¡­ Um, lately, I think that maybe a life without connections isn¡¯t worth living at all. What do you think?¡± She¡¯d always thought she¡¯d only hurt others by becoming close to them, but that wasn¡¯t the case in practice, was it? She and Shark, she and Rhys, hadn¡¯t these things done at least a little bit of good? By making these connections, they saved and enriched each other. Ariana shrugged. ¡°Just do what you want.¡± Dorothea laughed. That was simpler, yes. ¡°Do you feel up to a trip to the library today?¡± She frowned. ¡°I don¡¯t really like reading, but sure.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll explain once the others get here.¡± They soon did, and she noticed a healthy glow on Cerid¡¯s face. After a quick meal and some pleasant idle chatter, she addressed him. ¡°Can I ask you something?¡± He gave her a shy smile. ¡°Yes? What may I do for you?¡± It was clear he wanted her approval as Shark¡¯s friend, but it must have been hard to go about it with both his dignity and the secret status of his relationship intact. ¡°Will you show me around the library?¡± ¡°Of course!¡± Cerid was beaming with a charming, boyish excitement. ¡°I can direct you to the proper texts depending on your interests. I have read every book. Unless you would rather explore on your own, that is of course fine as well¡­ Ahem.¡± Now he was looking embarrassed at himself. Dorothea couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°Please. I¡¯d appreciate your help.¡± He grinned back. ¡°Then let us go.¡± As the group stood, Rhys came running in the doors. ¡°Sorry I¡¯m late, I¡­¡± He trailed off as he met Dorothea¡¯s eyes across the room. ¡°Er¡­ Sorry I¡¯m late,¡± he repeated. ¡°Library,¡± Ariana said curtly. ¡°We¡¯re going now. Come on.¡± Cerid led the way to the second floor, going past his father¡¯s office to arrive at a wide set of double doors. He heaved them open, then stood to the side to let the others enter first. Shark whistled. ¡°This room alone is over three times the size of my old apartment.¡± Ariana nodded along to their words, crossing her arms as if uncomfortable in the face of such lavishness. ¡°I have spent many evenings here by candlelight,¡± Cerid said fondly. ¡°Now, Miss Dorothea, what are you interested in?¡¯ Down to business. ¡°Information about the Ghurians. Their culture, what they¡¯re like. Then, about the relationship between Sacer and Ghuria historically. And more about Bittersweet Nightshade and the causes of the current war.¡± Cerid was nodding. ¡°It is good to be informed. I shall bring relevant texts to the back table. Please make yourselves comfortable.¡± He turned away, already muttering to himself. Shark was grinning. ¡°He¡¯s a cool guy.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°Yes.¡± Shark really did like Cerid a lot, and seeing how happy they were made her like him too. The remaining four walked to the back of the room, where light streaming in from large windows bathed the plush white carpet and varnished table in a pale glow. In a worn rocking chair sat an elderly man with a small girl in his lap. He smiled as she laughed and excitedly pointed out the things she liked best about the picture book in his hands, slowing his reading pace to a crawl. When the girl noticed the group, she stopped talking to watch them warily. The man smiled and patted her shoulder. ¡°Good day,¡± he greeted. ¡°I don¡¯t believe we¡¯ve all been formally introduced. I take most of my meals in my room, you see. My name is Cadby Creed.¡± Shark smiled. ¡°Cerid¡¯s grandfather. He¡¯s told me a bit about you.¡± ¡°Has he?¡± Cadby had Cerid¡¯s same way of looking brighter when he was pleased due to the quiet exuberance of his emotions. ¡°I could tell you about him too, if you like. Stories from his childhood.¡± Shark grinned somewhat maniacally. ¡°Oh yes please.¡± ¡°You shall not!¡± Cerid came barrelling out of the stacks, barely managing to balance the pile of books loaded in his arms long enough to slide them onto the table. ¡°You most definitely shall not!¡± He blushed as he glanced at Shark. ¡°Disregard that.¡± ¡°Oh, hello Cerid,¡± Cadby said pleasantly. ¡°Excitable as ever, aren¡¯t you?¡± The young girl added to the slight chaos by leaping off her grandfather¡¯s lap and dashing at Cerid. ¡°Uncle!¡± she howled, crouching down midrun to take a flying leap towards him. ¡°Oh my.¡± Cerid bent with his arms outstretched and caught her. ¡°How is my little lily today?¡± he asked, smiling at her delighted laughter as he spun her around. The girl grinned. ¡°Look.¡± Cerid peered down at her. ¡°You have lost another tooth, and you just pulled one yesterday. It seems you are falling apart!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not! I feel just fine!¡± He turned to the others. ¡°Calla, these are my new friends, Shark and Miss Dorothea. You already know Mister Rhys and Miss Ariana. All, this is my niece, Calla.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Calla directed her stare at Dorothea. ¡°Are you gonna marry her, Uncle?¡± ¡°No!¡± he barked, then forced a smile. ¡°I am not.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Then she looked at Ariana. ¡°She¡¯s not s¡¯posed to be here. Grandpa Cinder said people like her are no good.¡± Cerid jumped, eyes widening. ¡°That is not true, Calla. Miss Ariana is a friend.¡± He made no move to contradict the wider implication, Dorothea noticed with a chill. She looked over to find Ariana¡¯s eyes already on her. ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Children don¡¯t always know any better.¡± No, sometimes they didn¡¯t. And then they grew up to be adults who made sure their own children didn¡¯t know better either. Cerid patted the girl¡¯s head. ¡°Calla, your uncle is very busy.¡± When she deflated with disappointment, he laughed gently. ¡°But I promise to play later.¡± ¡°Can I dress you up? And you¡¯ll make me tea and cookies?¡± ¡°Whatever you like.¡± He smiled as she bounded outside, yelling reminders of his binding promise on the way. ¡°She is a good child. Er, sorry Grandfather, I seem to have made her forget you.¡± This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Truth be told, we¡¯d already gone through that book so many times today it felt like my eyes were gonna bleed,¡± Cadby laughed. He put a hand on the cane beside his chair and tapped it. ¡°By the way¡­ Dorothea, is it? You¡¯re the Atlin girl?¡± ¡°Yes sir.¡± ¡°Sorry if this is just an old man¡¯s bothersome prying or if it brings up bad memories, but¡­¡± His eyes filled with a forlorn yet fond nostalgia. ¡°Do you happen to know an Ophelia Atlin?¡± Dorothea¡¯s breath caught, and she lost all sensation. Then Shark¡¯s hand was on her shoulder, and the moment of total shock passed. ¡°Yes,¡± she replied in a daze. ¡°Yes, she¡­was my mother.¡± ¡°Ah. I thought so.¡± The wrinkles around his eyes deepened as he sighed and gave her a gentle smile. ¡°So she¡¯s passed on. I¡¯m so sorry.¡± ¡°I¡­ Can I, may I please talk to you about her?¡± She bunched up the font of her dress in her hands, not knowing where to put her turbulent emotions. ¡°Want us to leave you alone, Thea?¡± Shark asked. ¡°No, it¡¯s fine.¡± She didn¡¯t care what was aired, only that she got to hear it. She pulled a chair in front of Cadby¡¯s, heart racing. ¡°How did you know my mother?¡± ¡°I met her on my travels. As head of the family before my son Cinder, I went to Sirpo to keep peaceful relations and reneogotiate trade agreements from time to time. But Ophelia¡­ A sharp young lady! I thought I was a big shot, but phew. Fancy meeting her and having her tell me she didn¡¯t give a hoot about Sacer¡¯s nobility or who I was. No one had ever treated me so blunty.¡± It was so different from Dorothea¡¯s image. ¡°How else would you describe her?¡± ¡°She was insistent. Sweet but quick-tempered and not afraid to make demands as she saw fit. Knew a bad deal when she saw one and always found a way to make it turn out in her favor. Protective of Sirpo above all else¡­ I respected her.¡± ¡°So she was that fierce¡­¡± An rush of pride warmed Dorothea¡¯s chest. Her mother had been a caring person, and now she could appreciate that instead of drowning in anger. My visits were always enjoyable. Once her child was born though, she started delegating those meetings. I never saw her again after that, though she sent a few letters with well wishes.¡± He paused. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to ask this for my closure alone, but was her passing peaceful?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Dorothea lied. ¡°She wasn¡¯t in pain. And there¡¯s no need to apologize. Thank you for talking with me.¡± Cadby laughed. ¡°I¡¯m always happy to gab about the past.¡± Dorothea leaned forward, feeling breathless again. She¡¯d come here for information, and now she had a direct source sitting right in front of her. ¡°Then, if you can, would you mind telling me more about the Ghurians and the current war?¡± Cadby fell into serious contemplation. When he spoke, each word was thoughtful and intensely focused. ¡°Going back a few decades, there wasn¡¯t as much vitriol in the air as there is now. Or maybe it was just quieter. But the difference between us was still clear.¡± ¡°What difference are you referring to?¡± ¡°The wealth, dear. Of the land, of our bodies, of it all. That¡¯s why they call us pigs.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Dorothea put a hand self-consciously to her stomach. ¡°So it¡¯s always been well-known that the Ghurians have less resources?¡± ¡°It¡¯s their lands, see. Not as fertile as the ones here. Less crops, less wildlife. All in all, a harsher lot. They make do, but it makes them colder. It¡¯s been that way since the moment the two factions were formed after the War of Seasons, where it all started.¡± Right. Sacer had definitely gotten the better lot after they¡¯d won the country¡¯s first war. ¡°In theory then, changing some of the circumstances created by previous treaties could also change the trend of continued conflict?¡± She ignored a scornful laugh from Ariana. Cadby shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s never that easy. War¡¯s never just about resources. It¡¯s about fear, too. Regrets, grudges¡­ Those things aren¡¯t so easily changed.¡± ¡°Right. Sacer wants revenge for the Bittersweet Nightshade epidemic.¡± The threat of a magic that could wipe out entire cities in minutes wasn¡¯t something a militaristic land like Sacer would ignore. Then again, like Rhys had said, Sacer also had such abilities within its ranks. ¡°Yes indeedy. See, what happened was¡­ Hrm.¡± Cadby tapped his forehead to encourage thought. ¡°It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue now¡­ Wait, no it¡¯s not.¡± Dorothea looked at the others only to find them just as blank as her. ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m confused. What are you trying to say?¡± ¡°Huh¡­ Sorry, dear. I¡¯m at the age where my memories aren¡¯t as clear as they once were.¡± He sighed and sank into his chair. ¡°I don¡¯t even remember what I had for breakfast,¡± he laughed. That laugh turned feeble and awkward, his gaze averting, and Dorothea followed it to where Ariana sat completely still, scrutinizing him with narrow, hunting eyes. ¡°No, please don¡¯t apologize,¡± Dorothea said slowly, flashing a smile to ease any tension. ¡°Thank you for telling me everything you did.¡± Cadby stood, putting a stabilizing hand against his back. ¡°Nice chatting with you, but I believe I¡¯ll be off. I¡¯d like to be alone with my thoughts.¡± ¡°Thank you again. Take care.¡± ¡°You as well.¡± He lifted a hand in farewell before departing. ¡°So¡­ Do any of you know what he could possibly have been talking about?¡± she asked the rest, eyebrows raised. ¡°Unfortunately, no.¡± Cerid frowned. ¡°His memory could be playing tricks perhaps?¡± ¡°Please,¡± Ariana scoffed. ¡°He¡¯s old, not insane. Don¡¯t be stupid.¡± Dorothea nodded. ¡°I think so too. Uh, not that you¡¯re stupid Cerid, but I don¡¯t feel like he was talking just for the sake of it. Ariana¡­ What do you think it could be?¡± ¡°All¡¯s fair in war. Who knows who did what.¡± She met Dorothea¡¯s eyes for a beat before turning away to mutter, ¡°Not that it matters.¡± ¡°Okay then¡­¡± Dorothea moved to the table and tugged the stack Cerid had unloaded on her closer, opening the top one and settling in for the long haul. She was seated between Shark and Rhys, Cerid and Ariana on the opposite side. Shark peered over her shoulder. ¡°What are you looking for, exactly?¡± ¡°Just educating myself.¡± She couldn¡¯t explain her doubts to Shark, not until she was absolutely sure of everything. The first text detailed every battle that had previously occurred between Sacer and Ghuria. A trend Dorothea noticed: the Ghurians were almost always the aggressors, but they rarely won the fights they started. The constant raids couldn¡¯t be counted as successes, only temporary, bloody reprieves. Then, the treaties after every war seemed to make things worse and worse as they were punished for their aggression and murder. If that was the case, then¡­ ¡°Why do they keep trying when they know they¡¯re going to lose?¡± she wondered aloud. ¡°Is that a rhetorical question?¡± Cerid asked, looking up from his own text. ¡°If you want to answer, I¡¯d appreciate your expertise.¡± ¡°Of course. You see, Ghurians have more of a natural inclination towards brutality.¡± He clasped his hands together and frowned down at them. ¡°You witnessed it for yourself in both confrontations at Izozkia, no?¡± But it obviously wasn¡¯t that simplistic. The Ghurians had less to live on, so in a way they were always closer to death than the Sacerians were. What was real? Who had destroyed Sirpo, and what was her responsibility towards a people who had done terrible things time and time again but who didn¡¯t seem to even have sufficient access to basic resources? Sitting around waiting for death wasn¡¯t a better option than bloodshed. Maybe that was how Ariana had felt? Both sides had so much rage. Both sides wanted revenge. Just saying everyone should try to get along for their own sakes would never work. ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± she sighed, annoyed by her own ignorance. Cerid nodded, taking her comment as a reply to him. ¡°A predisposition to violence is a difficult thing to come to terms with.¡± His earlier comments had made her squirm inside, but this tipped the scale. ¡°You¡­honestly believe that.¡± He seemed confused by her concern. ¡°It is a truth proven by history¡¯s trends.¡± ¡°Shark¡­? What do you think?¡± They were mid-yawn. ¡°Huh? Well, I can¡¯t deny it. Sacerians don¡¯t go around starting wars, we just win ¡®em once the Ghurians drag us in.¡± ¡°But you¡¯ve lived with Ghurians in Sirpo and never had a problem. And what about Ariana? She¡¯s sitting right there as your ally, and you believe all of that stuff?¡± Shark laughed. ¡°Ariana¡¯s not exactly the best example you could give, don¡¯t you think?¡± ¡°Screw you too,¡± Ariana muttered. She had a point. ¡°Shark. Be serious.¡± They caught the genuine anger creeping up in her tone. ¡°I get what you¡¯re saying, Thea, but those aren¡¯t Ghurians. Once you¡¯re a Sirpoan, you¡¯re not a Sacerian or a Ghurian, and Ariana¡¯s a Sacerian by all rights too. I mean, you can¡¯t tell me after seeing them in action that those bastards aren¡¯t scary. They kill without a second thought, and they like it.¡± A chill raked up Dorothea¡¯s spine. For the first time, she understood something about Shark. They had left the war behind at one point, but they had never stopped identifying with it. She had mistakenly conflated Shark leaving their family and homeland with them not believing in what their people believed in. With Shark not believing in this war or in slaughtering the Ghurians. Something was terribly, terribly wrong here. Regardless of the truth behind Sirpo, regardless of what the Bittersweet Nightshade epidemic had taken, the Ghurians¡­ They didn¡¯t deserve their current reality, at least not the one as she currently understood it. Cerid looked at her as earnestly as always. ¡°May I say something else?¡± She swallowed to keep her voice steady. ¡°By all means.¡± ¡°I understand that not all of them are monstrous. It would be easier if it were that simple. We are all trying to protect something and accomplish our goals, and this creates a situation in which we must enter into conflict. That is all.¡± If that always remained the case, how would the fighting ever stop? They were all the same on both sides, seeking their own version of justice with the will to take from someone else to get there. But she had no right to criticize. She¡¯d thought the same thing, hadn¡¯t she? After Sirpo¡¯s loss, she¡¯d categorized them all as violent monsters. She¡¯d gone right along with it, joining in the flow of hate and the means of spreading it physically through bloodshed. Gren Fall¡¯s words came back to her again. Comforting oneself with thoughts of the enemy¡¯s innocence while still intending to trample them was self-aggrandizing, nothing more. ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡± Dorothea looked into Cerid¡¯s eyes as he nodded. ¡°In your vision of the future, what¡¯s happened to Ghuria?¡± Cerid and Shark shared a glance. ¡°Well,¡± Cerid said, ¡°it would be best not to be made to worry about external threats when moving forward.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± The end goal of this battle, one she had agreed to so thoughtlessly, was essentially genocide. Gods, what had she done? She hid one of her hands beneath the table, digging her nails in to push her emotions away with pain. She couldn¡¯t show her doubt and fear here. A hand tentatively touched hers beneath the table. Rhys didn¡¯t look away from the book he had been reading silently the whole time, but she knew she wasn¡¯t alone in her thoughts now. She took a breath and gave his hand a squeeze before returning to the task at hand. Going back and forth between texts, this was the understanding she got: Ghurians were frequent instigators of conflict due to a comparative lack of privilege. However, due to their constant assaults, Sacerian culture had grown to be focused so heavily on its military might that the longer things went on, the more the Ghurians essentially doomed themselves. On top of that, Ghurian raids on Sacerian lands were a weekly, sometimes daily threat even outside of wartime, making a permanent peace impossible. Lastly, the great threat of magics like Bittersweet Nightshade on the Ghurian side kept the Sacerians in constant fear. Under the thumb of that fear, they built themselves for the time they would need to fight back, and the Ghurians always made sure that time came. In this way, the cycle continued. She came away with more questions. So the Sacerian¡¯s fears had been realized with the epidemic. But what had caused the epidemic itself? If it had been a calculated attack as was the commonly accepted understanding, then why had Ghuria been impacted at all? Why was Sacer even still standing? And another thing she¡¯d not thought of until now. If Gren Fall was telling the truth and the Ghurians hadn¡¯t destroyed Sirpo, then why had they attacked Iluna and aimed for her in the first place? Johanna had mentioned that Gren was in command, so if he¡¯d ordered the attack that Cerid had thwarted that day in the first place, that put his story into question too. Where was the liar? As she descended further into thoughts that only spawned more questions and confusion, she was oblivious of how much time passed. ¡°Thea?¡± Shark¡¯s voice made her jump. ¡°It¡¯s been like, seven hours. Seven. That¡¯s gross. Either way, we should get dinner.¡± The others had breaked for lunch at some point, but she¡¯d barely noticed. ¡°Right¡­¡± She rubbed at her eyes, trying to ease out the ache that had settled behind them from concentrating for so long. Maybe moving around would help her organize her thoughts. In something else that had become the new usual, her mind went back to Gren Fall in the end. His words stayed with her at every moment even if she wasn¡¯t fully sure she could trust him. He¡¯d said all these things to her, but what was it he wanted? She needed, no, wanted to understand him too. She wanted it deeply, and that intensity caught her off guard. And just in case things spun completely out of control from now on¡­ She needed to put her affairs in order. 25. Rhizanthellas Family Despite everything, Shark had never been so happy. There wasn¡¯t much more they could ask for than Cerid and Thea. Cerid turned in early after dinner to catch up on sleep, and Ariana and Rhys had gone home, so Shark decided to wrangle Thea. She¡¯d barely touched her food, so they planned a calculated raid of the pantry. Shark grinned when they swaggered down the hallway and found Dorothea already waiting outside their room. ¡°Look like we had the same thought,¡± they laughed. ¡°I brought those little chocolate buns you like.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think we were thinking the same thing,¡± she said with a tight smile. Shark frowned. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°Sharkie, can I request something? I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll like it, but it has to be done.¡± ¡°Shoot.¡± ¡°I want to go see your parents. Right now.¡± ¡°Oh. Uh, no thanks.¡± Reality came crashing down with her words, and they wanted to avoid the pain in their head and heaviness in their limbs it brought with it. ¡°Sharkie, the time is now.¡± ¡°Why are you being so pushy when it¡¯s not your problem?¡± they demanded, taking out their anxiety and fear on her. She didn¡¯t look even the slightest bit irritated at them lashing out. ¡°I love you, Shark. Your future is my problem, and I won¡¯t be there for all of it no matter how much I want to be.¡± And that was why they hadn¡¯t done it yet. A childish piece of them believed that Dorothea would have to stick around if they put this off. She¡¯d promised to be by their side for it, after all. ¡°I just want to ignore that kind of reality, don¡¯t you know?¡± Shark admitted, almost begged, with a shaky laugh. ¡°Sorry, Thea¡­¡± ¡°You can¡¯t,¡± she said with gentle sternness, tugging on their arm. ¡°Come on. Say that Thea¡¯s being selfish and dragging you along for her own sake. That¡¯s the truth.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± they whispered, letting her drag them outside. ¡°Got it. Ready or not.¡± Then they grasped her hand and took the lead, digging up determination with the aid of her presence. ¡°I¡¯m gonna kick their asses! Verbally.¡± ¡°Go Sharkie!¡± she cheered, pumping a fist in the air. The exterior of the Olyen cobbler shop hadn¡¯t changed at all. At least that was what Shark thought at first glance, but then they noticed the sign had been repainted. The curtains had been changed, and the welcome mat had a different design. Things moved on whether they were there or not. The worst their parents could really do was reinforce their rejection, but that wasn¡¯t any comfort considering how much it had hurt the first time around. ¡°Whatever you do Thea, don¡¯t blow up at them. Getting angry won¡¯t change anything,¡± they warned as they tried to convince their finger, currently perched on the doorbell, to push. ¡°It¡¯s not a matter of getting angry,¡± Dorothea corrected. ¡°I¡¯m already incensed. But I won¡¯t show it if that¡¯s what you want.¡± Shark nodded, giving her a grateful glance when she put her hand over theirs for them to push down together. The man who answered was totally unfamiliar. He looked surprised before offering a kind smile. ¡°You must be Shark. I¡¯ve heard a lot about you.¡± Shark gaped like a fish dangling and pierced through the throat with a hook. ¡°May we ask who you are?¡± Dorothea requested. The stranger laughed. ¡°Look at me, my manners flew right out the window. My name is Markus. Please come in.¡± Shark studied the lobby in a daze. Shoes hung with their laces tied together on pegs or sat in pairs on varnished shelves. A counter sat in the middle of the room; this was where their mother Finnley always worked, deft fingers weaving thin multicolored threads or sewing insoles, outsoles and heels together with almost blurring speed. Shark remembered sitting on the counter and marveling at her, laughing as she loosely tied leftover threads in their hair or around their fingers and toes. They heard vague voices from the higher floors. It almost seemed as if one of them was very babbling and unformed. A child¡¯s voice. Shark held on to Dorothea¡¯s hand for dear life. ¡°I¡¯m here,¡± she whispered. ¡°I¡¯ve got you.¡± Like that, they could breathe again. Shark¡¯s mother tapped down the stairs with a baby in her arms and the strange man behind her with a hand on her back. She wore a nervous smile as she halted before her guests. ¡°Hello, Shark,¡± she greeted in a trembling voice. ¡°Er, this is your, um, your stepfather Markhus and your sister River. This is your family.¡± The laugh she capped that statement off with was too high and too long. Shark bit back a response about how neither of these people were anything to them, how their own mother hardly was after everything. Instead, they reached out to trade a weak handshake with Markus. ¡°We have a lot to talk about,¡± he said. His easy manner helped hold the situation together. ¡°Do you want to join us for tea, Shark? We¡¯ve got some snacks we could pull out, too.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t go to the trouble.¡± After the initial flash of anger and grief, Shark¡¯s emotions had flatlined. The only thing that kept them together through the clomp upstairs, the arranging of the table and being seated was Dorothea. ¡°So¡­ Where should we start?¡± Finnley asked, giving Shark the opportunity to direct the conversation. ¡°Did you know I was in Sacer?¡± they asked quietly. ¡°It was in the paper.¡± ¡°Yes, I read about it¡­ But I didn¡¯t want to track you down in case you weren¡¯t ready to talk. Sorry¡­ Should I have come straight to you? Sorry, it¡¯s just¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t stop fidgeting or apologizing, and it made it harder to get angry like Shark wanted. They looked away as Finnley bounced River and cooed when the child let out a whine, gritting their teeth against a pang of jealousy that drove through their heart with a sharp, heavy swing. ¡°You¡¯re right. If you¡¯d come to me, I¡¯d¡¯ve chased you off.¡± ¡°I¡¯m so glad to see you again, honey.¡± A scream rose from deep within, but it simmered beneath the surface, too weak to emerge. ¡°What happened to John?¡± To their father. Finnley looked at Markus, and he nodded. ¡°After you left, your father became even more determined to prove the worth of our family. He took your place on the battlefield, and¡­¡± She bowed her head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Shark. He didn¡¯t make it.¡± It registered as a ripple in the numbness, waiting to erupt later like everything else. ¡°So¡­this?¡± They gestured to the three of them, the new happy family. ¡°Markus and I met a year after John¡¯s passing and married two years after that. River was orphaned about six months ago, and we took her in. There¡¯s not much to tell¡­¡± It was the same voice and smile at every turn, all begging for Shark¡¯s approval and forgiveness. Finnley cleared her throat, glancing at Dorothea. ¡°And this young lady. Your partner¡­?¡± She eyed their twined hands. The hope in her voice was¡­ Shark had never been so revolted. ¡°No. I¡¯m courting a man at the moment. In fact, we¡¯re engaged. Sorry to be such a disappointment,¡± they spat. Being engaged was a complete lie, but they wanted to spit in her face as much as they could. Finnley¡¯s eyes were bright with tears. Despite everything, Shark pitied her, and they wanted to apologize for everything and tell her it wasn¡¯t her fault. Even if it was bullshit, the small part of them that was still her child wanted approval. ¡°Okay then.¡± Shark slapped their free hand against the table and stood, and River let out a squeal. ¡°Shit. I mean, oops. Ugh. Come on, Thea. Time to go.¡± This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. Finnley jumped up, alarmed, and Markus took their child so she could approach Shark and take their arms. ¡°Shark, isn¡¯t there¡­ There¡¯s so much to talk about. Please don¡¯t¡­¡± Shark backed away from her touch. ¡°If she turns out like me, would you abandon River? Would you tell her that she¡¯s not enough and make her feel like there was no place for her here? Would you control her until she felt like her only choices were to run or die? I didn¡¯t leave because I wanted to, I left because neither of you gave me a fucking choice! No one did, dammit!¡± Finnley flinched. ¡°I, we just¡­¡± Shark took a deep breath and let it out. ¡°It¡¯s like I thought,¡± they said softly. ¡°I can¡¯t forgive you. And I don¡¯t have any obligation to.¡± ¡°Shark¡­¡± Tears flowed down her cheeks. ¡°I love you. Please. We¡¯re family.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve found all the family I need, and so did you. We¡¯re leaving it at that.¡± They memorized her face, every line and crease. Then they turned to Thea and she nodded, leading them down the staircase and to the deserted streets. It was over now, but also never really over. That pain and rejection would be part of them always. ¡°Everything I imagined,¡± they began once the thick late-summer air was flowing through their burning throat, ¡°just went up in smoke. I had so many lines rehearsed.¡± They stopped walking, sensing a breakdown seconds before it came. ¡°My father died and I wasn¡¯t there Thea, I wasn¡¯t there!¡± She caught Shark as they fell to their knees, held fast around their back as they sobbed into her neck. Passersby slowed and stared but didn¡¯t try to interfere. ¡°If I hadn¡¯t left, he¡­¡± The tears made it hard to breathe, and their words were broken up by gasps. ¡°I was standing still, and the wh-whole time, everything was moving on without me!¡± ¡°If you¡¯d stayed, you only would have suffered. Any choices your family made are their own burden. You can¡¯t bear that guilt.¡± Shark let out a choked laugh. ¡°That coming from you of all people just sounds so wrong. You¡¯d never live up to those words, Thea.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I can say them to you.¡± Her hands drifted over their back, and they closed their eyes to sink into the comfort. ¡°It¡¯s not a good way to live. I want better for you than that.¡± Shark took a few moments to breathe deep and slow. ¡°We have to change things, Thea. It hurts. Every day, it hurts so much.¡± They shuddered against a new fit of sobs. All this couldn¡¯t have been for nothing. The future they and Cerid wanted had to be waiting on the other side. ¡°You¡¯ll be with us, right? You don¡¯t have to fight, but I want you to be there.¡± ¡°Shark¡­¡± Dorothea was crying the sympathetic tears they¡¯d known she would. She hugged them, hiding her face behind their shoulder. ¡°I¡¯ll always be here for you.¡± Shark leaned back to smile at her, laughing when she wiped their tear-stained cheeks clean. ¡°I¡¯m a total mess, right?¡± ¡°No, you look beautiful. Like you¡¯re feeling things that need to be felt.¡± Another pitiful laugh bubbled out. ¡°I love you, Thea.¡± ¡°I love you too.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°I want you to live the fullest life ever.¡± It tore at Shark, but they knew now that they would never go back to how things were. ¡°I¡¯m not the same person who was content to spend the rest of my life in Sirpo with you. I¡­ I¡¯m a Sacerian.¡± The full realization hit just as the words came: this was their home. They¡¯d just needed to become stronger before coming back to fight for it. ¡°I want to face everything that¡¯s ugly now.¡± Her smile was filled with pride for them. ¡°I¡¯m glad we were both there when we needed each other. I want you to always have happiness.¡± ¡°Thea, thank you. Thank you for finding me when you did. Thank you for being there when I needed you more than anything.¡± ¡°Of course. You were the same for me.¡± They couldn¡¯t let go of her without knowing she¡¯d be okay. ¡°Listen to me. Life is too damn short to waste it thinking you¡¯re not worth living it.¡± She pulled them to their feet. ¡°Okay. I hear you.¡± Shark held fast to her hand. ¡°No. Listen to me. It¡¯s okay to say you¡¯re allowed to live a happy life, Thea. If you¡¯re willing to say that to me, it¡¯s got to apply to you too. Be happy so I can feel safe leaving you by yourself from time to time, why don¡¯t ya?¡± She hesitated. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about that lately¡­ I know I want to connect with other people, and I think I deserve it, but I¡¯ll still leave everyone I love behind, and I¡¯ll hurt them¡­ It¡¯s hard to just change my thinking all of a sudden.¡± Still stuck on this! Shark let out an incredulous laugh. ¡°Thea, any of us could literally die tomorrow. You dying young isn¡¯t exactly a special thing. It happens to tons of people. We all face death every day on and off the battlefield, but we still treasure every moment because it¡¯s not worth it if we don¡¯t!¡± Dorothea laughed, hugging their arm. ¡°I¡¯ve wasted a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, huh?¡± ¡°Me too. Lucky enough, it¡¯s not too late to get our shit together.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± She gave them a gentle smile. ¡°Will you be okay, Sharkie?¡± ¡°I need time. I can¡¯t feel it all right now. So it¡¯d help if I can still lean on your shoulder for a while longer. Just not too much, I promise.¡± It was better this way. They had to get used to not depending on her. ¡°Anything you need.¡± She paused. ¡°So. Engaged, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah, that was a lie. I can just imagine Cerid¡¯s face if he heard that.¡± They both chuckled. ¡°Still, your wedding¡­ I¡¯d love to come someday.¡± ¡°Hah! Of course you¡¯ll get an invite. You¡¯ll be my best man. Girl. Whatever.¡± Dorothea nodded, smiling. ¡°I¡¯m happy for you, Shark. You make a lovely pair.¡± ¡°Heck yeah we do. Now, uh¡­ Help me up, please. I wanna go home.¡± She supported them all the way back with an arm around their back and, once they had reached the porch of Cerid¡¯s house, wrapped her arms around their neck and held tight. ¡°I love you.¡± Shark gave her a squeeze. ¡°I love you, Thea.¡± She backed away, dabbing furiously at her eyes to stop more tears. ¡°Now, I know what you want to do next, so go to Cerid. He¡¯ll be able to understand the parts of you I don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Haha! Will do. Thea¡­ Thank you. For all of it.¡± ¡°Of course, Sharkie.¡± They left her behind, feeling both lighter and heavier than they had in years. There was so much more to say and do. Shark wanted to fill up all of the emptiness that hatred and pain had brought into their life with love. That was the world they wanted more than anything. * ¡°Hey. Cerid, my buddy, my love. Wake up.¡± ¡°Mm¡­?¡± Cerid was roused with those words and a trail of gentle kisses from his cheek to his ear. ¡°Shark¡­?¡± They were kneeling at Cerid¡¯s bedside. ¡°Hey there.¡± Shark nuzzled his neck and let out a quiet, exhausted sigh. ¡°What happened, darling?¡± ¡°I went to see my family,¡± Shark replied breezily. ¡°My mom has a new husband and kid, and my dad died. I cut ¡®em off.¡± ¡°Shark¡­ Come here.¡± After they collapsed on top of him, Cerid rubbed the back of their neck and petted their hair in the way he knew was most comforting for them. They closed their eyes and relaxed. ¡°Is it wrong to want revenge for someone I hated?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Help me make sense of it. Please.¡± Cerid spoke softly. ¡°Shark¡­ Have you ever considered the directions you have taken? What your life would have been like if you had not met this certain person or taken this one step, how things might have changed for better or worse?¡± ¡°Yeah, doesn¡¯t everyone?¡± ¡°So it is normal to have these opposing feelings. No matter how happy a person is, they think about the past. No matter how much you might hate your father, you feel regret at his passing and want it answered for. It is okay to hold these contradictions within yourself.¡± ¡°Maybe if I¡¯d done something better, they wouldn¡¯t have ever treated me that way. Maybe we could have been a happy family. They could have loved the person I am. When I think like that, I¡­¡± They sniffed, trying to hold back tears. ¡°There is nothing wrong with how you feel. You are not offending anyone or being ungrateful for your present by acknowledging your past regrets.¡± Shark looked up to face him with a mournful gaze. ¡°I told my mom we were engaged. It was just ammunition against her. I said whatever came to my mind, and I¡¯m sorry.¡± Cerid gently cupped their cheeks to lift their face. ¡°No worries. Nothing has been sullied.¡± He kissed the tip of Shark¡¯s nose, then their forehead. ¡°Okay. Okay¡­ Just promise you¡¯ll never go anywhere.¡± They sidled up a bit more and tilted their chin up in request, so Cerid brushed his lips to theirs. Shark moved to deepen the kiss, tongue pushing past his teeth with practiced fluidity. Everything felt so fragile. Shark¡¯s tongue coaxing and tracing his own, their hands on his back tracing the knobs of his spine, then their fingers pressing between his ribs, it was all so warm and there, yet dreamlike at the same time. One day they would be able to be together without fear in the back of their minds. Cerid had prayed for that day for years. Shark¡¯s hands gripped his hips, fingers digging in against bone. ¡°I promise,¡± Cerid gasped against the lips and teeth that teased his arched throat, ¡°I am yours, understand? And you are mine. So do n-not¡­¡± A chuckle reverberated straight into his pulse from Shark¡¯s lips as Cerid shivered and lost his words in a moan. ¡°Don¡¯t what?¡± Shark asked, their breathing just as charged and erratic as Cerid¡¯s had become. ¡°Do not go anywhere either. Never again,¡± Cerid breathed. ¡°Promise me¡­¡± This desperate side of himself was reserved only for the person he loved, the person he knew would hold that facet of him precious and respect it. They had found each other again after so much loss, so to lose Shark now¡­ Their world was still so delicate and dangerous. Every step forward had thousands yet ahead. ¡°I promise.¡± Shark bit at his lips before capturing them in a kiss that was all at once sure and clumsy, wild and sweet. ¡°As long as you¡¯ll have me, I¡¯ll be here,¡± they swore into his ear. Their touch was burning him, making him feel constrained within his clothes. ¡°It¡¯s not the right time,¡± he gasped, shivering as Shark bit his earlobe. ¡°Not now¡­¡± He didn¡¯t want to do this when Shark was grieving and motivated to touch him in part by that fact. Shark lifted themself up to stare down at him. ¡°Did you just use a contraction?¡± they demanded loudly. Had he? ¡°I suppose I might have¡­ Urgh. Hush up a tad, please.¡± ¡°So cute,¡± Shark laughed, leaning down to shower Cerid¡¯s cheeks with kisses before laying next to him with their back to the wall. ¡°How come you never do, anyways? You¡¯ve never told me.¡± ¡°I started not using them when I was a child,¡± Cerid admitted. ¡°I believed it made me sound more intelligent, and now it has become a habit¡­ Please forget I told you this.¡± ¡°Naw, naw, it¡¯s locked in.¡± Shark smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners with deep affection. Then they bit their bottom lip as it wobbled. ¡°I, uh, I think I might cry now.¡± ¡°Do whatever you need. I will be here through it all.¡± ¡°Thanks. Thank you. I love you.¡± Cerid closed his eyes and buried his hands in Shark¡¯s hair as they soaked his neck with tears. 26. Azaleas Peace The following day started with a tea party, Cerid¡¯s face splattered haphazardly with makeup and his hair tied in short, sloppy pigtails. He had a hard time denying Calla anything, especially since she¡¯d lost her parents in the epidemic. Cerid¡¯s oldest brother had been her father, and he thought maybe part of why she latched onto him was the resemblance. ¡°Hey!¡± Calla looked past Cerid¡¯s shoulder as he served her a plate of apple caramel cookies he¡¯d managed not to burn that morning. ¡°Come here, come play the queen!¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± Dorothea had been walking down the hall with a stack of books in her arms ready to return to the library, and now she jumped to a stop. Cerid briefly registered the titles; so she¡¯d gained an interest in agriculture, hm? ¡°Calla, Miss Dorothea is busy,¡± Cerid said, but Dorothea had stepped into the doorway. ¡°May I?¡± she asked with a shy smile. Calla grinned and jumped to her feet, grabbing Dorothea¡¯s hand the second she put the books down. ¡°Can I make you pretty like I did with Uncle Cerid?¡± Dorothea smiled at Cerid¡¯s cheeks, caked with red lipstick and glitter. ¡°I¡¯d love that.¡± Soon, a very satisfied Calla was sitting with her arms crossed and surveying her handiwork. Dorothea¡¯s hair was tangled up in an array of ribbons and braids, her lips and cheekbones coated in glittery pink gloss and her eyes powdered with ghastly shades of green and blue eyeshadow. ¡°I feel beautiful,¡± she laughed. ¡°King Cerid, how does the queen look?¡± ¡°Lovely. So lovely I feel her subjects would not be able to properly look upon her,¡± he said, and the two girls laughed for different reasons. ¡°Are you married, Queen Dorothea?¡± Calla asked, watching as Dorothea flinched, blushed and spilled juice from her plastic pink teacup onto her lap. ¡°I-I¡¯m not,¡± she mumbled before shaking her head. ¡°But why are you curious, Calla?¡± ¡°I heard my grandpa talking about Uncle Cerid. He says he needs to get married soon. So I was thinking he could marry you if you think that would be fun.¡± ¡°It might be fun,¡± Dorothea said delicately, ¡°but that¡¯s stuff for boring adults. What about you, Calla? What do you want to do, besides all the mushy stuff? When I was your age I wanted to fly around the world on a big red balloon.¡± This prompted a twenty-minute lecture from Calla about how the world would best be traveled on a yellow balloon for a multitude of reasons that had to do with the sun, birds, tangerines, and other potentially hostile balloon travelers, among other things. Then she had Cerid pick her up to run around the room to simulate this balloon flight, and once bored with this she wanted to play with her stuffed animals. Then it was hide-and-seek in the orchard and flower crowns in the garden. Morning turned into afternoon before Calla tired of games and had Cerid read her favorite story, a tale of a princess, her pet dragon and her knight, until she was ready to nap. Then he and Dorothea tiptoed out, heading to the library to return the books she¡¯d brought with her originally. ¡°Thank you,¡± Cerid said. ¡°She seemed to enjoy that.¡± Dorothea laughed. ¡°Kids are exhausting, but that¡¯s part of their charm, too.¡± She laughed, then paused. ¡°Do you want to get married someday?¡± ¡°Yes. But it might take a while to get others to accept that,¡± Cerid laughed. ¡°What about you? I do not think Calla caught on, but I could tell you were uncomfortable with the subject.¡± Her cheeks flushed. ¡°Truth be told, I¡¯d like to someday, but it¡¯s complicated.¡± She smiled, looking at her feet. ¡°Sorry.¡± ¡°Do not apologize. Thank you for telling me.¡± It meant a lot whenever she let him in. As she was someone dear to Shark, he was naturally concerned for her well-being and happiness too. ¡°Mm-hm.¡± She tugged on her hair. ¡°It¡¯s been on my mind a bit, you know? Shark said something to me yesterday about living life to the fullest. But it¡¯s different if your happiness hurts others, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°I understand your concern on a basic level,¡± Cerid said, ¡°but if I may¡­ The happiness I seek is something that has been spat upon as dangerous, perverse and incorrect in Sacer for years. So I believe that the things others hate must be questioned, always.¡± He sighed. ¡°But our situations are not the same. I apologize for stepping out of bounds.¡± She looked thoughtful. ¡°Well, but you¡¯re right. Common belief shouldn¡¯t always be accepted immediately¡­ Interesting to hear you say that.¡± It didn¡¯t occur to him to ask why she would think so. ¡°I do apologize if Calla bothered you at all. I think she saw a caring woman and remembered her mother, and me being there too, it is just¡­¡± He sighed. ¡°She misses her parents.¡± ¡°Of course she does.¡± Dorothea paused. ¡°You¡¯re taught from that young age to shed blood and to hate the enemy.¡± ¡°True.¡± There was a lengthy silence. ¡°And?¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Just that a war would be a despicable inheritance for Calla,¡± she said quietly. Cerid smiled to reassure her. They had finished putting the books away and were now standing there talking softly in the library¡¯s stillness. ¡°Take heart. We may have inherited this war before we were prepared to face the world, but we will come out on the other side to something brighter.¡± ¡°Cerid, do you think¡­ What do you think inheriting a peaceful world really means?¡± This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°A war won. That is what peace has always meant.¡± ¡°I see. Um, do you think¡­¡± She wore a weak, uncertain smile. ¡°Do you think people who inherit a peace gained from war can really know what peace means? Do you think they¡¯ll know how to maintain peace when conflict arises?¡± ¡°I apologize, but I do not understand what you are trying to say.¡± ¡°If I asked you to make a peaceful world without shedding another drop of blood, could you do it? If you say hatred is meant to be questioned, could you turn that way of thinking even towards your enemies?¡± The possibility had not once occurred to him. ¡°Are you well, Dorothea?¡± She bowed her head and chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m fine. Thanks for entertaining my questions.¡± In a sudden movement that made him freeze, she leaned forward to kiss his cheek in a chaste, familial gesture. ¡°Take care of Sharkie and yourself, okay?¡± ¡°Of course, I¡­¡± But she departed like a bird taking flight, not waiting for him to reply. Why the sudden concern, and all these pointed questions? Was she that uncertain of the future? * It wasn¡¯t that Shark minded having so much time alone with Cerid, but they were worried about Thea. She¡¯d been in the library almost all day today besides her play date with Calla and Cerid, wasn¡¯t eating well, and was driving everyone off to have privacy. ¡°There¡¯s still glitter in it,¡± they said with a smile as they ran their hands through the damp strands of Cerid¡¯s hair. It was that abysmally late hour where it was safe enough for Shark to sneak over to his room without anyone else in the house noticing. Cinder and Cadby usually stayed up late, and Calla¡¯s schedule could be unpredictable. ¡°I washed it twice!¡± he complained, laughing as Shark ruffled his hair. ¡°May I ask you something?¡± Shark pushed his hair straight back off his face to kiss his forehead. ¡°Uh-huh?¡± ¡°How did you and Dorothea meet?¡± ¡°Huh¡­ Well, it¡¯s not really a long or interesting story, but if you¡¯re curious.¡± ¡°Please. I wish to hear it.¡± There was an intensity in Cerid¡¯s gaze that Shark would never have cared to refuse. The story probably wouldn¡¯t be special to someone from the outside looking in, but Cerid could judge that for himself. They were two people who had met when they needed one another most. Shark, a deserter fleeing in the dead of night. Dorothea, an orphan with the burden of her home, people and magic. Loneliness made their connection all the more poignant and precious. She came into their life in a flash. The snow seemed to claw up Shark¡¯s legs while they trudged, a wary and wounded creature, around the village outskirts. What if rejection was all that waited? In leaving Sacer, an irreversible severing had swung down by their own hand. Their family, Cerid, all of those ties were gone. If there wasn¡¯t a place for Shark here, there wouldn¡¯t be one at all. That fear left them balled up in the frozen blanket of white coating the strange land, waiting for something, anything. For her, it turned out. They had halfway fallen asleep and halfway passed out, coming close to freezing to death. But when they awoke, Shark met the eyes of a teddy bear big as two pillows placed side-by-side. It stared from its place against the wall, and they screamed. They had heard that such things were found in the lowest floor of the Catacombs. In a moment of pure terror, they were convinced they had been captured somehow, and now punishment was coming. Hands pushed on their cheeks, turning their face the other direction. Wide eyes met theirs, just as scared as Shark¡¯s. Eyes the color of a dark late-summer sunset. Faintly wavy gray hair framing a young, round and almost eerily pale face. It was a girl who, seeing them awake, let out a relieved breath. ¡°You¡¯re safe,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s okay. You¡¯re in Sirpo. No one can hurt you here. I promise.¡± They knew she would have said those placating words to anyone. In that moment though, someone saying that everything would still be okay despite all they¡¯d lost was exactly what they needed. They rolled over onto their side, clutched at her hand with their head bowed over it, and sobbed like a child. Their tears dripped down onto her fingers, and, tentative and gradual, she patted their head, then stroked their hair. Safety. That¡¯s what Dorothea was from that moment. Dorothea was their first connection in Sirpo, and Shark held fast to her even after they became established, got a home and job and other friends. They chatted at her whenever they passed on the street, and they visited to bring her homecooked meals after learning she lived alone. After a few weeks she became so infuriated with the pestering that she hurled a snowball at their face while Shark was midsentence. ¡°Leave me alone!¡± she ordered. Shark laughed, amused and ready to romp in the snow. The fluffy pureness of it was still so new and otherworldly. ¡°No way!¡± Her fury was insistent. ¡°You¡¯ll stay away from me if you know what¡¯s good for you!¡± ¡°Ooh, do you have hitmen in your employ? Can I meet them? Can I become one?¡± She was almost too befuddled to stay angry, and she gaped for a few seconds. ¡°Can¡¯t you see that I just want to be alone?¡± she asked, sounding uncertain. Shark smiled. ¡°No you don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Yes I do! You see how everyone treats me! That¡¯s the way it¡¯s supposed to be!¡± She gestured around them. It was true; no one was even paying them any mind. They ducked their heads and moved on, giving their leader a wide berth to handle her own business. ¡°You need to fall in line with these customs, understand?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to leave you alone.¡± They approached, patting her head when they were close enough. ¡°Because I know that a life like that isn¡¯t living at all. It¡¯ll eat you up inside ¡®til there¡¯s nothing left. Believe me on this¡­ I just can¡¯t let that happen to someone else, especially not someone who¡¯s shown me kindness.¡± ¡°But I¡­ I¡¯ll just end up hurting you¡­¡± She too could cry like a child, and she proved it then and there. ¡°Maybe so, but that¡¯ll be okay too. I can handle at least that much.¡± So there it was. Because she was the one to hold their hand on that first day and because they were the one to refuse her isolation, they had been one another¡¯s truest friend for so long. ¡°Whatever the case,¡± Shark concluded, ¡°I depended too much on her. It was too easy to just say I could keep following her around for the rest of my life. It¡¯s fine to hold on tight to the hand that saved you for a little while, but that can¡¯t be all there is. Thea and I both know that now.¡± They laughed. ¡°That¡¯s all. Not very special I know.¡± Cerid smiled. ¡°Of course it is special. It is something that belongs to the two of you.¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ You¡¯re right.¡± Shark grinned. ¡°Why so interested anyways?¡± ¡°Well, she¡­is a curious person,¡± Cerid said slowly. ¡°So I was wondering.¡± ¡°Curious? Yeah, I guess that¡¯s a good word for her. Somethin¡¯ happen?¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± ¡°Well good. She¡¯s basically gonna be your sister-in-law someday.¡± Cerid blushed. ¡°It does not do good things for my heart for you to continue to bring up marriage so casually.¡± ¡°Trust me, it ain¡¯t casual. I know it¡¯s gonna take a while before we can do it like we wanted, y¡¯know with all the pomp and circumstance, but it wouldn¡¯t hurt to make it official? If you want?¡± ¡°True. We see it as something certain, but we have never discussed it this plainly, and¡­¡± Cerid¡¯s eyes got as big as the rim of his favorite teacup. ¡°Are you proposing to me?¡± ¡°Pretty much.¡± They toyed with the ring finger of his left hand. ¡°If you want me to, I¡¯d like to put something really nice right here someday.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Cerid smiled, then grinned, then let out a laugh of complete joy. ¡°I would like that.¡± ¡°Then it¡¯s settled.¡± Shark felt at peace, utterly and blissfully so. They had gained so much, even with all they had lost. Cerid, Dorothea¡­ These precious, irreplaceable people could smother any darkness. 27. Primroses Realization Ariana didn¡¯t mind someone who was confident; she found it rather attractive, in fact. Even so, the smug grin that Iree put on when she was pleased with herself was irksome. Iree was wearing that smirk as she and Ariana camped out in the corner of a quiet bar to talk shop. ¡°She¡¯s way too naive,¡± Ariana stated after summarizing their recent activities and how Dorothea had been spending most of her waking moments poring through the library, ¡°and she still seems to think we can settle this peacefully somehow.¡± Here she paused, thinking. Dorothea had spoken up to defend her yet again in the library a few days prior. She was really that invested in her beliefs, then? Even after facing the Ghurians in battle, even after believing she¡¯d lost her home to them, she still believed in their goodness. Ariana didn¡¯t know what to think of it all. Dorothea was so flawed, and she¡¯d never be some kind of hero, but¡­ She was more than what Ariana had thought. ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll try something?¡± she asked finally. ¡°She¡¯s not that bold,¡± Iree dismissed. ¡°Olyen and Rhys are both in line now, and she won¡¯t go anywhere without them or risk their safety. This war¡¯s as good as won.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t sit well with me to underestimate her magic,¡± Ariana insisted. Iree nodded, but her smile didn¡¯t drop. ¡°We don¡¯t have to worry about the magic if we understand the person, and Atlin¡¯s transparent. She¡¯s easy to manipulate and quick to get attached. The moment she made ties in Sacer, it was done.¡± ¡°And Rhys? You¡¯re not just going to let him run around unchecked, are you?¡± ¡°He¡¯s the same as Atlin. Neither of them are a threat.¡± Her smile got even more smug. ¡°I nipped that piece of trouble in the bud. He¡¯s all ours. She won¡¯t influence him anymore.¡± Influence? Could Iree really not see that, whatever she¡¯d tried to do to keep Rhys and Dorothea apart, it had only gone on to strengthen their friendship? This side of Iree that was only seeing what she wanted to was new, and it worried Ariana. Or had she always been this cocky and Ariana had wanted the safety it presented too much to question it? ¡°Are you telling yourself that so you won¡¯t have to dispose of him?¡± The fact stood that Rhys was the most dangerous person in Sacer, possibly in the whole country. Without him, the goal of destroying Ghuria wouldn¡¯t be possible, not without much bigger sacrifices. It really was the case, Ariana realized, that Iree¡¯s plans had always, always hinged on Rhys remaining loyal to her. She¡¯d never even questioned it before Dorothea had come along, and neither had Rhys himself. Iree laughed. ¡°Come on, relax! This is what we worked for, and I¡¯m telling you it¡¯ll be fine. Trust me.¡± Could she? Ariana wondered that for the first time. She¡¯d always known Iree wasn¡¯t morally pure, but she¡¯d still trusted her strength and intentions. ¡°Don¡¯t dodge the question. He¡¯s been nothing but a liability for years now. Him following orders one time for Izozkia¡¯s retrieval doesn¡¯t erase all of that. Regardless of your feelings for him¡ª¡± Iree¡¯s smile dropped in an instant, replaced by a cold, almost malicious glare. ¡°Kingfisher. There¡¯s a line, and you¡¯re dangerously close to crossing it.¡± Fine. It wasn¡¯t as if Ariana had a say anyways. She was indebted to Iree for letting her have what little of a place she did in Sacer. That had never involved decision-making power, just the chance to tag along behind Iree as she chased her ambitions. And maybe that was just the way Iree liked it? Before Iree could sense her doubt, Ariana faked a yawn, stretched and scooted out of her chair. ¡°I should go. Gotta report early to keep an eye on them all.¡± Iree nodded, swirling the last foamy remains of her beer around the bottom of her glass with a slight smile. ¡°Keep up the good work.¡± She was so certain of everything all the time. Ariana was a little jealous, but she also knew there was a fine line between earned confidence and misplaced arrogance. Once she was in the open air, tension she didn¡¯t realize had gathered within her dissipated. And then it all came back tenfold once she got home and found a rather unwelcome guest sitting on her front porch. Despite the racing of her heart she asked calmly, ¡°What are you doing here? It¡¯s the middle of the night.¡± Dorothea smiled and hopped to her feet. ¡°Precisely. See, I¡¯d like to go on a journey, but as I am incapable of riding a horse alone, I would like you to go out with me tonight.¡± She looked kind of manic, and Ariana was a little concerned. ¡°Why should I?¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m going whether you like it or not and I don¡¯t think Iree would let you off easy if I¡¯m nowhere to be found in the morning.¡± ¡°Where are we going, and why can¡¯t it wait until the morning?¡± If the journey required a horse, it was definitely farther than they should be travelling. ¡°Sirpo.¡± Ariana scowled to hide her apprehension. ¡°Are you drunk or high or both?¡± ¡°Nope. Well, high on terror maybe.¡± ¡°Dorothea, come on, we¡¯re not doing that. What would seeing it change?¡± ¡°I need to go,¡± she insisted. After a pause, she let out a huff, patted her hair down, smoothed her dress, turned on her heel and walked away. Not good. ¡°Where are you going?¡± A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°I just realized I could walk there myself. I¡¯ll see you in a few weeks or months.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be an idiot!¡± She couldn¡¯t be serious. Iree had trusted Ariana to keep this whole thing a secret, but neither of them had been prepared for Dorothea to go off the deep end. The commander had said that her grief and hatred would keep her in line¡­ But Ariana saw neither of these emotions now. ¡°Goodbye. I shall subsist on tree bark and snow.¡± She really meant it. No, she couldn¡¯t mean it! Surely she¡¯d give up after a few minutes of walking, maybe a half hour at the most. She did not. An hour later, she was still striding forward with her hands folded in front of her, ignoring Ariana as she followed her through the woods with insects howling around them. ¡°You¡¯re some kind of stupid,¡± she sighed. ¡°Stop! Just stop. You¡¯re wasting my time.¡± ¡°Something I¡¯ve noticed,¡± Dorothea began without slowing her pace, ¡°is that I always see the same soldiers. Whether it¡¯s Iree taking out her chosen squad or who is on the opposing side, it¡¯s the same main players. Why is that?¡± ¡°In Sacer, it¡¯s a post-epidemic rule. Most people are hanging back off the battlefield so the population can keep recovering. I can¡¯t speak for Ghuria, but it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if they¡¯re trying to do the same thing.¡± ¡°So on the Ghurian side we¡¯ve seen ice and wind magic, people who use needles and have the aid of animals, and then there¡¯s Bittersweet Nightshade. On our side there¡¯s earth, fire, water, fists and blades. So Ariana, tell me¡­¡± She stopped walking, and Ariana saw her hands and legs shaking. ¡°When I look at the bodies of my people, what kinds of wounds will I see?¡± After she recovered from a moment of pure shock, Ariana laughed. It started out small and devolved into helpless cackling that even she found a bit insane. Dorothea was glaring at her. ¡°What¡¯s funny about any of this?¡± ¡°You win,¡± Ariana gasped. ¡°I admit it, you win.¡± The hand that had reached out to her with such unprompted kindness¡­ The conscience she thought she¡¯d buried due to necessity was betraying her now. ¡°So you¡¯re ready to tell me the truth?¡± Ariana nodded, smiling because she felt the world falling apart around her and it wasn¡¯t as bad as she¡¯d thought it might be. ¡°Iree underestimated you. She thought you¡¯d roll over and do whatever you were told without question.¡± She held her hands up in surrender as Dorothea stepped back and clasped her own hands together. ¡°It was she and I that destroyed your home and blamed it on the Ghurians so we could secure your allegiance to Sacer.¡± ¡°In the name of your justice,¡± Dorothea whispered harshly, tears glistening in her eyes. ¡°I suppose.¡± For Ariana, justice had never once been a part of it. Living, only living. She just hadn¡¯t wanted to die, desperately so. ¡°You¡­¡± Dorothea was trembling all over in her horror. ¡°I didn¡¯t even hate Ghuria after my mother died¡­ I didn¡¯t even hate them after the epidemic and the lives she returned took her away. Or I thought I didn¡¯t¡­ But you and Iree twisted that, twisted everything, all for this war¡­!¡± Wait. Something in those statements was wriggling at a disconnected piece of information in Ariana¡¯s mind. What was it? ¡°Dorothea, hold on. Don¡¯t do anything rash.¡± The information clicked, and she was too stunned and confused to even breathe for a few seconds. ¡°Who are you to make demands?¡± Dorothea snapped. ¡°This is important!¡± Ariana leaped forward and grabbed her wrists to pry her hands apart. As Dorothea gasped in fear she asked, ¡°What year did your mother die?¡± ¡°Where do you come off asking me that?!¡± ¡°I took the journal from your house and read you and your mother¡¯s entries.¡± ¡°That¡­ How could you and Iree do this¡­? How could you think your justification was good enough?¡± Her anger was being overwhelmed by shock and misery now, and she bowed her head. ¡°Year 1180.¡± ¡°Son of a¡­ I can''t believe this,¡± Ariana whispered. ¡°Ariana¡­?¡± If Ophelia Atlin had died in 1180 after the epidemic and the epidemic had been the direct cause of the current war, then why had the journal entry that stated Cinder Creed had asked Ophelia to join Sacer in an impending war been dated 1179? ¡°I know you don¡¯t have a reason to listen to me,¡± she said hoarsely, ¡°but I think there¡¯s something else we need to figure out¡­ There¡¯s something I have to tell you.¡± Dorothea nodded slowly, responding to the honest fear in Ariana¡¯s voice. ¡°Okay. I¡¯m listening.¡± That easy, huh? ¡°You¡¯re seriously¡­?¡± Crazy girl. If their positions were flipped, Ariana would have¡­ Well, it wouldn¡¯t be pretty. She smiled. ¡°This is who I am, I¡¯ve decided. This is what¡¯s going to take me forward and keep me strong. If I lose that part of myself again, if I let someone take it from me, I don¡¯t think it¡¯d be forgivable.¡± Forgiveness, Ariana realized. That was the vital thing they had missed. They hadn¡¯t thought that their plan could be foiled by a person with an immense, stupid capacity for forgiveness. After she explained the inconsistency, it took Dorothea a long time to speak. ¡°I see¡­ I never read that entry at all. I didn¡¯t want her words after she died, but I should have¡­ Not that I would have had the wherewithal to realize anyhow.¡± She shook her head. ¡°Ariana, we have to¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s got nothing to do with me,¡± she interrupted. What was done was still done. ¡°It could.¡± Dorothea¡¯s eyes sparked with determination. ¡°Give me a chance, okay? Keep this to yourself and let me try something. The next time we meet the Ghurians on the battlefield¡ª¡± ¡°Then it¡¯s business as usual for me. Look, I respect you enough to have told you the truth, but that doesn¡¯t mean you have my loyalty.¡± By now there was nowhere for Ariana to go back to, and there was no guarantee that whatever Dorothea did would end up creating a better reality than what Iree planned. ¡°You¡¯re on your own from here.¡± She frowned but nodded. ¡°Okay. Well¡­ Thank you, Ariana.¡± ¡°Come on, time to go back. I want to sleep.¡± She paused, feeling like she was going to burst. ¡°Tomorrow is Zeal¡¯s Web. The day after that, Iree is planning a direct attack on a small settlement near the Ghurian border that she¡¯s pinpointed as the enemy¡¯s base of operations. Do with that information what you will.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Dorothea didn¡¯t look scared at all, only resolved. ¡°Really. Thank you, Ariana.¡± ¡°Whatever.¡± They returned to Udara, Ariana¡¯s skin and mind pricking all the while. She¡¯d been willing to do so much because her homeland was dying, because she hadn¡¯t wanted to die as her options and means continuously narrowed around her. But if Cinder Creed, if Sacer had had something to do with the epidemic all along¡­ No. No, there was no one and nothing to go back to, and no point in changing. As always, despite doubt, despite anguish, she would stay the course. 28. Marigolds Honey Because Rhys was such a predictable person, Iree knew exactly which pew he would be sitting in during Zeal¡¯s Web. He liked to sit in the right corner of the back right pew to make his back feel less vulnerable. Small things like that reminded her what a scaredy-cat he actually was. The month had ended with her plan of attack on the rats approved by the council. Before that, she¡¯d make absolutely sure that Rhys was behind her. Without him, none of it would work. The war, her life, nothing. He was hers; that¡¯s how it was meant to be. ¡°It¡¯s only when it¡¯s this crowded that you realize how big the place actually is, right?¡± she said by way of greeting as she sat beside him and crossed her arms. Most of the chapel''s pews had been moved around to make room for the couples and groups milling about, so the room seemed to have at least tripled in size. Rhys glanced at her. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°You look creepy being here alone, you know. Unless you¡¯re expecting someone?¡± Though, with no small amount of personal satisfaction, she knew there was no way that was the case. ¡°Nope.¡± She waited for him to say more, but he just continued to people watch. There were elderly pairs and those far too young to know the hardships that love might bring them someday, all placing red roses on lapels, in pockets and in hair to bind them together and represent their taken status. They prayed, danced and sat close together, enjoying the peace of this celebration of love. There had been a time when Iree was certain she and Rhys would be here together someday, and here they were, but it was the opposite of what she wanted. He felt so cold and distant and, for the first time, she had no idea what he was thinking. When had things changed, she wondered. Definitely after Mom¡¯s death, but something had been off between Rhys and Sharee even before that. Iree hated being out of the loop and she hated being apart from Rhys. Couldn¡¯t he see he was the only one she had? Couldn¡¯t he be stronger for her and let her in again? ¡°We used to be a lot closer than this, Rhys. No matter what happens, we¡¯re still family. So will you tell me what¡¯s on your mind?¡± She gave him her warmest, most inviting smile. He glanced at her. ¡°Iree. Just be honest with me, okay?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± If he was concerned with her honesty, then she was in trouble. She had to flip the conversation somehow. He tugged on the ends of his hair in one of his typical nervous habits. ¡°Do you think the ends always justify the means?¡± This here was the problem. That bothersome conscience of his. Of course Iree had one as well, but she knew better than to let it get in the way of what needed to be done. ¡°Well yeah, where war is concerned. How could I excuse not doing whatever it takes to protect Sacer?¡± She made sure to speak quietly. ¡°So everything you do is for that purpose?¡± ¡°Yeah. For Sacer and for Mom.¡± He looked crestfallen. ¡°Iree¡ª¡± ¡°So I see you gave Mom¡¯s pin to Atlin,¡± she interrupted, speaking lightly. ¡°You don¡¯t think that¡¯s something you should have discussed with me first?¡± When she¡¯d first spotted it on Atlin¡¯s collar, she¡¯d seen red. Of course she was going to push the issue with Rhys when she needed to use it on him. He frowned, looking guarded. ¡°It was mine to decide what to do with. It¡¯s the only thing I asked to keep of hers, so I at least have that right.¡± ¡°But you should have talked to me. Do you have any idea what a slap in the face it was to see her wearing it and not be prepared for it at all? It was Mom¡¯s, so what right does some random girl have to¡ª¡± ¡°She¡¯s my friend,¡± Rhys stated. Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. His assertiveness caught her off guard. ¡°What?¡± ¡°She¡¯s my friend,¡± he repeated. ¡°And she¡¯s done a lot for me, so I wanted her to have it. I¡¯m sorry that hurts you, but it¡¯s my decision. Please respect it.¡± She¡¯d fully expected him to apologize and offer to remedy the situation. It just hinted at how important Atlin was to him, and¡­ Jealousy lanced through her heart. She had claimed him once. Made him hers. But now someone else was trying to take her place. The day they had been informed of Sharee¡¯s death, she had pulled him in, kissed him with ravenous desperation. If grief could be transmitted, if she could force him to drink down the emotions that threatened to swallow her, then that¡¯s what needed to happen. He¡¯d let out sounds of distress, had struggled and writhed against her constricting grip, asked her to stop, but they were still fully united in the end. He didn¡¯t look at her for a week afterwards, but she was forgiven after a few tears and expression of her need for him. If she didn¡¯t have him, she¡¯d have no one, she¡¯d said. Please don¡¯t leave me alone in this. Words like that had bound them together for years now. ¡°What¡¯s going on, Rhys? You¡¯ve been different lately.¡± He shook his head. ¡°You¡¯re just noticing that now?¡± ¡°Rhys¡ª¡± ¡°Iree, you and Sharee saved me. You taught me what it was like to be happy and to want to do something for someone else, and that kept me going for a long time. But it¡¯s not enough anymore. I¡­ I¡¯m not in a good place.¡± He smiled tremulously, staring down at his hands as they were clasped on his lap. ¡°You really don¡¯t know? You¡¯ve never once guessed why I¡¯ve become the way I am?¡± ¡°Rhys, I get it, I do. Mom¡¯s death hit me hard too, but we have to move past it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it,¡± he said softly. ¡°That¡¯s not it at all.¡± ¡°Then what?¡± Iree snapped, exasperated. ¡°Don¡¯t expect me to read your mind!¡± ¡°You¡¯re the one who¡¯s always going behind my back,¡± he retorted. ¡°How can you expect me to be completely open with you?¡± ¡°When did I go behind your back?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not stupid. Even when I was still your captain, I was the last one to learn about your plans. But part of me didn¡¯t mind that, and you know why? I don¡¯t want to fight anymore. I don¡¯t have that will, so I didn¡¯t care.¡± He rubbed a hand over his face, slouching and looking exhausted. ¡°Yeah. I don¡¯t want to fight anymore, and I know that¡¯s what you need from me. So maybe it¡¯s better if¡ª¡± ¡°Wait a second!¡± Salvage this. Get him back, no matter what it took. ¡°And you said to me that Mom wouldn¡¯t be proud of us? You¡¯re the one spitting on her memory by saying all this crap! She gave everything for Sacer, and this is how you repay her? We took you in when you had no one else, and now you¡¯re turning your back?¡± He flinched, physically shrinking beneath the scathing burn of her words. ¡°I explained it already. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m not grateful, it¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe how selfish you¡¯re being. What I do is for your sake too, you know. For you to throw that back in my face is just¡­ I never thought you¡¯d hurt me this way, Rhys. All this time I¡¯ve been trying so hard, and now you¡¯re saying that was all for nothing? I¡­ How am I supposed to keep going after this, knowing you hate Mom and I?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡± He looked pitiful and small now, head hanging. Now, while he was so uncertain, she¡¯d give him a bit of coddling. ¡°Rhys, I just need you to let me in,¡± she said softly. ¡°I¡¯ve been scared, and I took it out on you. I¡¯m sorry. Please, talk to me.¡± He met her eyes, looking like a scared child, and stated, ¡°I want to die so badly I can¡¯t even breathe, Iree.¡± ¡°Oh come on, don¡¯t talk like that. Buck up.¡± He just needed to change his mindset and shrug this off. He turned away from her, letting out a quiet, scornful chuckle. ¡°They tell us to always be strong,¡± he said softly, ¡°but they don¡¯t prepare us for the times that strength fails us. I was strong, and I became a monster¡­ What¡¯s the point of someone like me in this world? I hurt Sharee, I hurt you, I hurt Dorothea¡­¡± ¡°Rhys? Hey, what are you saying? You¡¯re not making any sense.¡± He took in a shaky breath. ¡°I know what you did to Sirpo. You and Ariana.¡± A cold wave washed over Iree, making her ears ring. She couldn¡¯t predict him, she realized in a panic. He¡¯d become someone she couldn¡¯t control and keep in a neat little box. ¡°Tell me there was some kind of reason,¡± Rhys pleaded. ¡°Tell me we can make this right somehow.¡± Yes. Yes, there was a way to make it right. A soldier was someone who was broken down and built back up, molded into the correct shape. By that logic, Rhys only needed to be broken again so she could reshape him as needed. She faked a grateful smile, lulling him into a false sense of security. ¡°Maybe a public area on a festival day isn¡¯t the best place to talk about this? There¡¯s a lot I want to tell you. I¡¯m sorry for not being more honest before. I¡­ I wanted to honor Mom so badly that I lost sight of some things¡­¡± She contorted her face as crocodile tears filled her eyes. ¡°Please help me.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll be okay. We can figure this out. Come on, I¡¯ll take you home.¡± ¡°Thank you, Rhys¡­¡± One way or another, she would regain the Rhys Tamlin she had known. 29. Rosemarys Ploy Iree¡¯s squad was currently moving out for an attack on Ghurian territory. Dorothea was filled with dread and hope in equal measure, and ready to give it her best shot regardless. ¡°Where¡¯s Rhys?¡± she asked from her place behind Ariana on horseback. After he¡¯d supposedly demonstrated his loyalty at Izozkia, she¡¯d expected Iree to have him along for sure. ¡°Resting, apparently,¡± Ariana replied. ¡°Iree said he got sick.¡± Sick, huh? It sounded more like Iree might have finally noticed what a bad place Rhys was in and given him some time away from battle. At least she was enough of a friend to do that much. ¡°As long as he¡¯s okay¡­¡± Dorothea¡¯s hand went to the pin secured at her neck. But she needed to focus. Her plans for that day relied entirely on chance. Gren Fall had to show up and be willing to listen to her. She had to find a way to have a discussion with him without anyone getting killed but also without any on the Sacerian side noticing her intentions. Granted, Ariana already knew something was going on, but she¡¯d made it clear that Dorothea couldn¡¯t rely on her for help. She was alone here. She measured her breath as they approached the invisible divide between lands. The lush forests of Sacer had faded, leaving a stark, exposed land. The place Iree had pinpointed as the Ghurian base looked abandoned¡ªit was an exposed and crumbling barracks of stone, certainly not what Dorothea would have thought to be a stronghold. But there they were. As the Sacerian invaders approached, defenders emerged, all familiar faces. The soldier she had healed after the Izozkia conflict¡ªPearlie, Ariana¡¯s sister¡ªWesley the wind-and-ice-user, the needle-wielding woman Johanna, and¡­ She bit back a sigh of relief at the sight of Gren. Ariana found what she was looking for too; she unsheathed blades from both hands, gaze honing in on her sister. ¡°You gonna let her get the best of you this time too?¡± Shark teased as they cracked their knuckles and stepped to her side to make sure that didn¡¯t happen. ¡°With your help, no.¡± ¡°Aw. Nice to be needed.¡± ¡°Atlin, stay back and intervene as ordered or at your own discretion,¡± Iree said. ¡°Everyone else, aim for the kill.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t have to tell me twice,¡± Ariana muttered as she jetted forward. ¡°Wait up!¡± Shark gasped, leaping after her with Iree and Cerid on their heels. Dorothea watched with bated breath. Her plan was to wait for someone on her side to get hurt. Then she could fake panic, rush in and get Gren¡¯s attention. The two groups met in the middle and started clashing. Ariana and Shark faced off against Pearlie and Johanna, Ariana deflecting needles with her blades and Shark creating pillars of earth to slowly separate the two Ghurian women, obscuring them from each other¡¯s vision while not getting the Sacerians caught up in the shifting of the earth. Meanwhile, Cerid and Iree were up against Wesley and Gren. Iree¡¯s intense flames blasted apart the ice that was shot at them even while Cerid was caught in the crossfire of those explosions. Cerid fought through it all, not giving Gren even a split second to collect himself as he punched relentlessly, getting in close quarters despite the risk. Even from where she stood, Dorothea could see it: Cerid¡¯s hands were being dyed red. She could see how absolutely shocked the Ghurians looked, how it threw their entire strategy off to have Gren losing. Cerid was fast enough to dodge every knife attack, and his magic made sure that even glancing blows had destructive power. Cerid was going to beat Gren to death. Why wasn¡¯t Gren fighting harder? Where had his determination gone? ¡°Please don¡¯t¡­¡± Dorothea begged under her breath, putting her hands together. But Cerid had Gren pinned to the ground now. He reared back for a finishing blow, flecks of blood flying from his split knuckles and a pained expression twisting his face. ¡°Gren!¡± Wesley, rashly and foolishly and very luckily for Dorothea, took his attention away from Iree to aid his comrade. She seized his arm by the elbow and in a great bloody instant blew it off in a miniscule volcanic eruption. But Wesley didn¡¯t stop. He screamed through gritted teeth and kept going without missing a beat, barrelling into Cerid to throw him off. Gren scrambled, dragging himself to his feet just in time to dodge a blow from Iree that would have melted half his face off. ¡°Sorry, Cerid,¡± Dorothea whispered. She hadn¡¯t wanted him to get hurt, but Wesley attacking him was what gave her an in. She took a deep breath, swallowed down an onset of terrified nausea, and ran into the fray. ¡°Thea, don¡¯t!¡± Shark screamed. She heard a yell of protest from Iree too, but she ignored them for her single-minded goal. She tackled Wesley under a pretense of helping Cerid, meager strength meaning she more just bounced off him and threw herself to the ground, dazed, as a result of her efforts. She opened her instinctively closed eyes to find Wesley moving towards her, only for him to receive a blow to the underside of his chin from Cerid that made a sickening crack resound through her ears. Wesley¡¯s feet left the ground; he flew up and flopped back down with a breathless gasp, then started writhing and coughing. ¡°Dorothea, get back!¡± Cerid pulled her to her feet and froze as Gren, having snuck up behind him, put a hand on his back. ¡°Commander¡­¡± he whispered, turning his head to find that Iree had been blocked from the encounter with a wall of ice that kept growing even as she tried to burn through it. Wesley was lying limp near them, weakly chuckling while streams of frigidity trailed from his feet to keep the commander at bay. Gren spat out blood and a tooth before speaking. ¡°Stand down. No need for you to die here.¡± Cerid glowered at him. ¡°Dorothea, run and¡ª¡± ¡°Cerid,¡± she interrupted. ¡°I need you to let us go. Please.¡± He shook his head. ¡°I knew¡­ Part of me knew you were planning something. But no matter who you are, I cannot allow this.¡± Still, he didn¡¯t move to restrain her as she backed up to Gren¡¯s side. ¡°What happens now?¡± she asked Cerid. It was almost pitiful how deeply he was caught between his soldierly duty and his desire not to harm her for Shark¡¯s sake. ¡°I¡ª¡± He cut off with a gasp as Gren rushed him, landing a kick to Cerid¡¯s knee to knock him off balance before swinging an uppercut to his jaw. Gren waited to be sure he was unconscious before turning to Dorothea. She put her hands up in surrender. ¡°I, um¡­!¡± Oh Gods, she was too frantic to speak, but he might just kill her if she didn¡¯t say anything, but maybe he wouldn¡¯t, she sure hoped not but either way the words just weren¡¯t coming out¡ª He studied her. ¡°Hi.¡± ¡°H-Hello¡­¡± Okay, she needed to hurry. She rushed to Wesley and healed his wounds to leave him behind as an obstacle to Iree. Then she darted back to Gren. ¡°I need to talk to you. Somewhere we can discuss things calmly,¡± she said in a rush, looking around to make sure that Iree, Shark and Ariana couldn¡¯t see what was happening between all the blocks of earth and ice that had been raised. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. He nodded. ¡°Wes? Don''t kill them, but¡­¡± Wesley smirked. ¡°Leave it to me. No one will follow you.¡± He hauled Cerid over his shoulder, surely intending to use him as a distraction or bargaining chip, and slipped around to face Iree. ¡°Thanks.¡± Gren turned back to her. ¡°Are you fast?¡± ¡°Uh, no?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He scooped her up into his arms, staggering a moment, and started running. Dorothea covered her mouth to stifle a yelp, barely resisting the impulse to cling to his neck in shock. The sounds of battle became distant as they dove into the forests of Sacerian territory, taking a long way around to avoid being visible from the battlefield the Sacerian had created. Thin shafts of sunlight dappled the space around them once he slowed to a stop. Dorothea leapt from his hold the moment he started moving to put her down. ¡°Um¡­¡± He glanced at his hands. ¡°Sorry. I wanted to get us out as quickly as possible.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not you, I¡­¡± Why, in this moment, was she worried about how heavy she was? ¡°Thank you. F-For bringing me here to talk! At least I¡¯m presuming that¡¯s what this is for, you¡¯d have probably killed me by now if that was what you¡¯d decided to do, goodness did Cerid do a number on you, here¡­¡± She moved to put a hand to his cheek to heal him, and he stood perfectly still. He smiled faintly when she stepped back. ¡°Better than a slap.¡± She heated with shame. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I was cruel to you. Beyond cruel.¡± ¡°Well.¡± He shrugged and leaned against a tree. She liked that he didn¡¯t deny it; her faults didn¡¯t deserve excuses. Still, his quietness was unnerving. ¡°I, I needed to see you. To talk to you.¡± ¡°As established, yes.¡± ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m a little frazzled. Okay. Deep breath.¡± She did so and continued. ¡°I¡¯ve learned since our last meeting that it was the Sacerians who attacked Sirpo. They blamed Ghuria to get me to join their war efforts.¡± She waited, but he''d known already of course. He¡¯d tried to convince her of the truth from their first meeting. ¡°Um, Mister Fall, I¡­ I know you¡¯d be better off with me dead, so I just wanted to say thank you for bearing with me.¡± ¡°With or without you, our position would be just as dire.¡± True. It was a conceited thing for her to think. ¡°Sorry. You¡¯re right. If you¡¯d let me, I¡¯d like¡­ I have a plan. I hoped you¡¯d hear me out.¡± ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡± She braced herself. ¡°I want to heal your land. I can use my magic to restore it to a more fertile state, how it was hundreds of years ago.¡± He narrowed his eyes, so she continued in rush. ¡°Not that healing the land fully fixes things. We can¡¯t heal the pain of the past but, for the future, I don¡¯t see any other choice but to come to terms with it. But I also don¡¯t know how to convince others. Gods, you probably want to throttle me right now, approaching you and being so presumptuous, but well, I¡­¡± Her words were coming out faster than her head could keep up with. ¡°Don¡¯t we have to at least try? My understanding is that the War of Seasons resulted in a lot of damage to Ghuria¡¯s lands, which is why the territories were divided like they were in the first place, and the epidemic exacerbated that damage. I¡¯ll take it all the way back.¡± With all the time she had remaining, she''d give them means to survive. ¡°That doesn¡¯t treat the root problems of hatred and historical injustice, but it will eliminate the need for raider attacks. With no need to attack, we can freely negotiate with Sacer for a total ceasefire. At least, that¡¯s my idea¡­ What do you think?¡± ¡°And you¡¯re sure this is what you want to do?¡± ¡°Yes. More than anything. If you¡¯ll have me.¡± She bowed deeply, displaying her vulnerabilities and respect to him in a gesture of his culture. ¡°Okay. If you¡¯re prepared, then let¡¯s try it.¡± ¡°Oh. Okay. Okay! Thank you!¡± That was strangely easy. The corner of his mouth twitched as he took in her befuddlement. ¡°What else would I say to the only chance at salvation we¡¯ve ever gotten?¡± Point. Still, she wanted to throw her arms around him, her gratefulness and relief were so intense. It would be difficult, but it was the only acceptable way ahead she could see. ¡°Really¡­ Thank you so much.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t thank me. You¡¯re only going to suffer more through this.¡± ¡°No. I mean it. I¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t stop getting tongue-tied; there was so much to say. ¡°It was easier to blame you and Ghuria for my own inadequacies and fears than it was to face the truth. I¡¯m sorry. I was a hypocrite, and I just wanted to thank you. Above all, thank you for opening my eyes.¡± ¡°Hm.¡± His brows were knit, and she couldn¡¯t tell what he was feeling at all. ¡°I want to ask you some questions if that¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°I hate to ask this, but¡­ In your mind, what was the cause of the epidemic?¡± ¡°My memories are foggy,¡± he stated. ¡°I remember a woman with red hair. She touched me, and my mind was¡­warped, I suppose. When I came to, it had happened and she was gone.¡± He paused. ¡°She looked a lot like that commander of yours, I think.¡± Nondescript as it was, he was still saying something of vital importance. Though of course he wouldn¡¯t have been able to convince anyone else of his version of events with such little detail or corroborating evidence. ¡°Either way, you¡¯re confirming that the epidemic was a manipulated event.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I might have some supporting evidence of that fact. I think¡­ Based on what you¡¯ve said combined with what little information I¡¯ve gathered, I think Sacer¡¯s current council leader, Cinder Creed, helped to orchestrate it all.¡± It was the only way to make sense of why he had approached Ophelia Atlin for help in a war before it had even started. ¡°So if we can figure out how the woman you saw was able to force your hand, we''ll have a better picture of the truth.¡± Even assuming her theory was correct, how had Cinder kept the truth hidden? Surely someone else knew¡­ Now there was a thought. ¡°I think I need to go back to Udara,¡± Dorothea stated. ¡°There¡¯s someone I need to talk to.¡± ¡°Are you really fine with this?¡± Gren asked suddenly. ¡°Allying with someone who¡¯s killed so many people. Proving that person¡¯s innocence despite the fact that what¡¯s done is done.¡± ¡°I just want to end this war.¡± If there was anything that had ever been worth fighting and dying for, this was it for her. She wanted to protect what she loved, and she wanted to do it in a way that let her treat others with kindness, even if it was futile. It was an ideal worth sticking to. ¡°And I suppose¡­ A person can be innocent even if there¡¯s blood on their hands. A new friend of mine taught me that. There are things we can¡¯t take back, but redemption just has to be possible, right?¡± She laughed lightly, unable to fathom how much her worldview had changed in less than a month. Gren blinked a few times. Surprise, maybe? He ducked his head, hiding behind a curtain of black hair, then straightened just as quickly. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± ¡°You¡¯re coming too?¡± ¡°Yes. I need to be there.¡± Well, having him as an ally certainly did make her feel safer. ¡°Then¡­¡± She held out her hands towards him. ¡°May I?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± He averted his eyes, looking off to the side as he lifted a hand and put it between hers. Why was it shocking that he was warm? ¡°I really am sorry. For everything I thought, said and did.¡± She hadn¡¯t seen him as human. It wasn''t something she could apologize enough for. Gren shook his head as if to say it was no big deal. Because he was used to it, she realized. So used to it that he didn¡¯t find perspectives like hers surprising at all. ¡°Gren?¡± ¡°Hm? Uh¡­¡± His eyes widened, mouth falling open with that small utterance of shock as she pressed a clumsy kiss to his cheek, pushing too hard and almost losing balance. ¡°You¡¯re a kind person,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Thank you for everything you¡¯ve helped me see.¡± Embarrassment washed over her after those sincere words were spoken. ¡°Um, also, I¡¯ve never actually tried this before, but I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll be fine! Haha¡­¡± ¡°Okay¡­?¡± In preparation for today, she¡¯d gone into the library before dawn and just stood at the back table. It was in service of a technique that she had thought of for this specific ploy. Could a person go back in time, she had wondered, to a point where they had been standing earlier in the day without having to turn back time on the whole world? Like how using their magic to heal a person¡¯s wound was an isolated event within the timeline, could she also perform an isolated event to change location? Teleportation, in short. Normally Dorothea would never consider it, as the time it would cost her was always more than it would take to just get somewhere normally, but right now there wasn¡¯t a second to spare. She hadn¡¯t hoped to have to do this today, but she¡¯d created the option of a quick escape. She¡¯d memorized as much as she could about the library over the past few days, including what times Cadby Creed would normally be there. At this point in the day, he would be sitting in his chair. She closed her eyes and focused on that morning, how the room had smelled and felt, what she had seen, the exact location she had stood. Then she and Gren were there in the library, standing in front of the wall of windows in the pale light. He stumbled, grabbing onto her back for support as she did the same to him against a rush of nausea, then looked around in shock. ¡°Wow, I did it?¡± She smiled apologetically as Gren gave her a look. ¡°I mean, of course I did.¡± But she wasn¡¯t the only one who was surprised. ¡°Oh my,¡± Cadby said, dazed. ¡°This is new.¡± 30. Primroses Wilting The sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu that seized Ariana upon crossing the border floated somewhere between intense discomfort and bitter longing. She was here, facing off with a familiar opponent and partner alike. It was her and Shark against Pearlie and Johanna, and she knew who would win. ¡°No mercy,¡± she whispered to both herself and Shark, and they nodded. They created branches from the pillar they had raised them both on to get a better vantage point, easing them closer through the opponents¡¯ defenses with each one. Pearlie wasn¡¯t calling any of her animals in. She gripped her blade and watched Ariana, waiting for the moment they would mert to finally decide where Ariana¡¯s path would take them. She and Shark dodged needles that would have brought them crashing down, and then they were directly above their enemies. Enemies. Not her sister, not her compatriots. This was the only way it could be. Shut everything down, push it out, and seal fate. ¡°Ariana!¡± Shark yelled, their urging giving her the horrid strength to follow through. Balancing on one last thin block that formed a diagonal bridge, she rushed towards them. Ariana¡¯s swords met Petunia¡¯s; the force and velocity were so intense that the impact jolted up Ariana¡¯s arms. Petunia, her trembling legs unable to support her against the pressure of the attack, fell onto her back. Ariana jumped off of her platform and straight onto the closeby Johanna. Hands closed on her forearms in a feeble attempt to fight back, but she wrenched free and slashed Johanna¡¯s throat with a quick swipe. Pearlie¡¯s screech of despair resounded in waves throughout Ariana¡¯s body as she rolled off of the corpse. Pearlie had risen to her knees but showed no other signs of moving, not even as Ariana touched her blade to the side of her neck, drawing a delicate trail of blood. ¡°Big sister,¡± she pleaded in a sob, words choking off as Ariana separated her head from her body. It was over. Shark dropped down to her side, brushing off. A hand came up to her cheek, and she saw a clear drop perched on their pointer finger when it came away. Ariana almost laughed, but if she made a sound now, she¡¯d start sobbing. In no way did she deserve to cry. She was supposed to feel nothing. Everything was decided, and she was secure in her choice. ¡°Ariana!¡± A voice called out from deep in her memory, and rushing, blending into one another as they did so, parts of her came back. A baby¡¯s fingers grasping hers. Her newborn sister. Such tiny nails, such a weak grip. Pearlie¡¯s laugh was the most infectious, precious sound she¡¯d ever heard. Watching with a close eye as she crawled, eventually took her first tottering steps. Anything there she could hurt herself on? Pearlie yelping, arms and legs flailing as Ariana yanked a comb through her hair, tiny blue curls floating to the floor. How her giggles would give her place away during hide and seek but Ariana would let her win anyways, feigning ignorance. The woods, their favorite place. A brook surrounded by bird nests, the song of nature blending into perfect harmony. The way Pearlie chatted with the birds for hours, finding a new world of her own that Ariana could only marvel at. Meeting Johanna Marley in raider training, how quickly Pearlie took to her. Friends of friends could become friends too. Those wonderful, peaceful days. The Bittersweet Nightshade tragedy, then war. Too many orphaned, the Kingfisher family reduced. Ariana¡¯s decision to put her own survival above all else. Pearlie¡¯s screams and sobs as Ariana tried to convince her to leave everything behind. The younger sibling would defend her parents¡¯ graves and their broken homeland to her last breath. Stealing away that same night. The stars were aching, and the earth seemed to crack beneath her feet as she crossed the border into Sacer. Iree Nobelis. A walking brand of fire, the consuming beacon of hope. To find the life she promised, Ariana was willing to follow her as deep and dark as they needed to go. But had that fire actually been the one to consume Ghuria in the first place? Had everything been a lie in the end? Why was she fighting? What was the point in any of this anymore? Wasn¡¯t the peace and happiness she had thought she might find at the war¡¯s end nothing but a delusion? The smile and laughter she had once been willing to do anything for¡­ She¡¯d lost sight of it. Why had such a world been created? She wanted to live so badly, but no matter where she went or what she did, the suffering wouldn¡¯t stop. These pictures wouldn¡¯t stop playing. Pearlie was dead at her feet. This was what she¡¯d wanted, and this was going to be the story. ¡°I should have stayed and died with her,¡± she realized aloud. Shark touched her shoulder, and she jumped away. They looked solemn and pitying, and she couldn¡¯t muster the energy to be indignant about it like usual. ¡°The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can get somewhere private to grieve. Come on. Just a little more.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not¡­¡± she rasped. Not grieving? She wasn¡¯t fooling anyone, not even herself anymore. But Shark was right; she had to keep it together. ¡°Don¡¯t let your guard down. We don¡¯t know what¡¯s on the other side of these walls,¡± she said roughly. ¡°Right.¡± They paused. ¡°If you feel like you didn¡¯t make the right choice, then¡­ Maybe you can try to take it back.¡± Before she could rip into them for saying something so ridiculous, they¡¯d rushed off. As if she had the right to apologize or regret anymore. There were some deeds a heart couldn¡¯t turn back from. * Dorothea grabbed onto Cadby¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Don¡¯t be scared!¡± she pleaded. ¡°I wasn¡¯t until you said that.¡± He looked past her at Gren. ¡°Who might your friend be?¡± Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. Now that she thought of it, very few people in Sacer would actually know what Gren looked like. No wonder Cadby wasn¡¯t panicking like she¡¯d been sure he would. ¡°Cadby,¡± she began carefully, ¡°I want to ask you about something you mentioned to me before. Please tell me everything you can think of. And¡­¡± She hated to add this, but she couldn¡¯t fully trust him. ¡°If you ever treasured any of the time you spent with my mother, you¡¯ll offer your utmost sincerity.¡± She could hardly breathe after throwing the words out, and she took a gulp of air before asking, begging, ¡°Do you know anything about how the epidemic really happened?¡± His puzzled expression fell into a deep sadness that seemed to sink into every line of his face. ¡°Yes. Yes, I¡¯ve known all this time.¡± A disbelieving sickness flipped her stomach. ¡°Was there ever any issue with your memory?¡± He shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, dear. Even so close to the end of my life, it¡¯s hard to admit my wrongdoings.¡± Dorothea barely held back her anger. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°My word doesn¡¯t matter. What you really want is proof, right?¡± He smiled sadly under her glare. ¡°Go to the commander¡¯s office. There¡¯s a letter that will explain what happened. Addressed to young Miss Iree from her mother, Sharee.¡± Dorothea backed away from him. Still, how mad could she really be? She¡¯d been just as apathetic not so long ago. ¡°Quickly then, to Iree¡¯s office.¡± She started to walk away but stopped when she realized Gren wasn¡¯t following. He was staring at Cadby. ¡°Why?¡± Cadby¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Are you¡­?¡± ¡°Why would anyone want that to happen? Why did they make me do it?¡± Cadby closed his eyes as if welcoming whatever might come. ¡°I am so sorry, young man.¡± Dorothea rushed over to take Gren¡¯s hand; he jumped, attention snapping to her. ¡°Gren,¡± she said gently, ¡°we have to hurry. Please.¡± He let out a soft breath. ¡°Okay.¡± There were some instances, Dorothea realized, where words wouldn¡¯t help at all. There was nothing Cadby could have possibly said in that moment to make things better, and nothing she said would take away the pain of the past either. She locked the door of Iree¡¯s office and propped chairs against it for good measure, then went about tearing through her desk. She glanced over every document even if it didn¡¯t match the specifics that Cadby had mentioned. Gren double-checked each piece of paper she discarded, a faraway look in his eyes. After she had Gren force open a hidden locked compartment in one of the drawers, she found it. The paper was worn, tears along its creases showing how many times it had been reread. The envelope, tucked beneath the letter, bore Iree¡¯s name in lovely script. Dorothea handed it to Gren first, acknowledging this as a moment more monumental to him than she could understand. ¡°Dear Iree,¡± he read aloud, voice rough, ¡°I know you¡¯re going to be very confused, but above all I want you to remember how much I love you. Please understand that we¡¯re doing this for a very important reason. Cinder, the man who¡¯s taking you with him the day I carry out my mission to make sure you don¡¯t get hurt, will explain everything to you, but I can say without a doubt that what we¡¯re doing is for the greater good. ¡°We were given magic to serve a purpose. No matter what, we have to make use of it for our people. Remember that having power isn¡¯t about gaining anything for yourself or becoming a hero. It¡¯s about defending the people who need you. You, Rhys, and children like you, I believe that you need me and my power right now. There¡¯s something I can do to save you from the kind of people war forces you to become, so I¡¯ll do it. ¡°I know it¡¯s going to be hard without your mom, but everything is going to be okay. Just be kind to Rhys. Take care of him and keep him by your side so he¡¯s safe. Cinder and I are going to make a world without suffering. How could I say no to giving that world to my children? ¡°You¡¯re going to do great things, Iree. I¡¯m so proud of your hard work and your burning spirit. Please forgive me for leaving you too soon. Never forget I love you. Your Mother, Sharee Ambre Nobelis.¡± Gren clutched the paper like he wanted to rip it apart, but in the end he put it on the floor and hung his head. Dorothea touched his arm in a small gesture of comfort while her mind raced. She now knew without a shadow of doubt that the epidemic had been planned by Cinder Creed with the help of Iree¡¯s mother, Sharee Nobelis. The only question left was how they had been able to force Gren''s hand. ¡°What do you want to do now?¡± she asked. He was completely silent; she couldn¡¯t even hear his breath. But his chest rose and fell as if he was breathing deeply, and he finally spoke up in voice little above a whisper. ¡°I knew the whole time. I knew this was what it had to be. How can I let this stand when I¡¯m so close?¡± It was true. Cinder was in this very house. If she were in Gren¡¯s shoes, she would want to find him and kill him. But because she wasn¡¯t Gren, she could say what needed to be said. ¡°We have to end the cycle of war. I don¡¯t think peace will ever be real until we can say that, for once, we reached out to each other with understanding. You have a right to your anger, and I won¡¯t hold anything you choose to do against you. But Ghuria as a whole won¡¯t be benefited if you take revenge right now. Cinder will eventually receive the punishment he deserves, but he¡¯s one of the few people who can confirm the truth right now. The same goes for Iree.¡± He nodded, relaxing his gritted teeth. ¡°You¡¯re right. Okay¡­¡± ¡°Gren, I¡­¡± Once more, there was nothing she could say. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her forehead into his hair. I¡¯m here, she communicated to him through touch. ¡°Whatever you decide, I¡¯ll be right behind you.¡± He¡¯d stiffened at first, but now he relaxed, holding onto her arm loosely. ¡°Dorothea Atlin,¡± he said quietly. ¡°You are¡­¡± He turned his head, and the tips of their noses touched. Then he pushed his cheek to hers as if seeking further solace from the simple act of touching and being touched. Dorothea remained perfectly still as he breathed slow and deep. Had anyone comforted him, all this time? Gren gently extricated himself after a few minutes. ¡°Thank you.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°What¡¯s the plan?¡± He paused. ¡°Hm. Can you take us back to¡ª¡± His words were brought to an abrupt halt as the door was kicked and then blasted apart with a great crash of fire from outside. Dorothea jumped to her feet, standing in front of Gren with her arms spread out in protection. This combined with the fact that she waited for Iree to enter the room to try talking to her before anything else was what sealed her fate. ¡°Iree¡ª¡± Was all she was able to say before a sharp pain spiked in her shoulder. She was too shocked to cry out; Iree had driven a blade into her shoulder and driven her back for that blade to be embedded in the blackboard behind her, pinning Dorothea there. ¡°You!¡± Iree addressed Gren, who had rolled out of the way and was poised to attack, crouched low. Iree had one of Dorothea¡¯s wrists pinned with one hand and was squeezing her neck in the other. ¡°Don¡¯t for one second think I won¡¯t kill her.¡± ¡°Guh¡­!¡± Dorothea tried to say his name, but Iree¡¯s grip tightened to the point where it felt like her throat might be crushed. Instead she met Gren¡¯s eyes, managed the best smile she could, and closed her eyes as a sign of acceptance. If only one of them could live, it was better for it to be him. Wherever his will ended up directing him, he had the right to go forward and address what had been done. She waited for the moment of her death, but it never came. He¡¯d¡­surrendered? For her sake? ¡°Kingfisher, hurry up,¡± Iree ordered, and Dorothea¡¯s eyes snapped open. Ariana wouldn¡¯t look at her, but Dorothea couldn¡¯t take her eyes off the swordswoman in part because one of her swords was gone. Her left hand was missing, arm ending in a charred stump. Dorothea forced her gaze to lower to the blade Iree had pierced her shoulder with. A hand was attached to the end of it, scattering droplets of blood as it flopped about. The pressure on her neck was increasing. Even as she tried to reach out to help Gren as Ariana removed both his arms with an unhesitant slash from her remaining arm, her vision was going black. The last thing she saw was blood spreading beneath him as he went still, stiller¡­ 31. Marigolds Counterattack Iree Nobelis wouldn¡¯t tolerate being made into a fool. The very fact that Atlin had left the scene alive betrayed her influence in her own capture. There was no reason for the rats to spare her unless they were actively working together. Additionally, Atlin wouldn¡¯t cooperate with the Ghurians unless she knew the truth about Sirpo. That meant Kingfisher had let her guard down and made a mistake, and that warranted punishment. She needed to be reminded where she was in the chain of authority, so Iree took her hand as punishment and then got back to Udara as fast as possible. Olyen had been easily convinced to ferry them there, under the impression that Atlin was in danger and with a beaten, unconscious Cerid in tow to fuel their anger. Ariana had killed two Ghurians in that attack. The two-magic rat had fled under Shark and Iree''s attacks once they were able to join forces. Gren Fall was the only one left. Once Atlin and Fall were secured in cells within the Catacombs, Iree descended to its lowest floor. In the grotesque room of dolls and frills, Rhys was sitting huddled in a corner. He wasn¡¯t restrained at all. Since his arms had been removed, he posed no threat. Disappointingly, he shot her a glare. His resilience was surprising and clearly built on fuming rage. The usual words of guilt weren¡¯t so effective now that she¡¯d tricked him like this. That was fine. Iree never went into something this important without a plan. ¡°I¡¯ve got your precious Dorothea in custody. She¡¯s three floors up enduring interrogation as we speak. Don¡¯t believe me? Just listen.¡± In a few seconds, a scream reached them. Right on time, as Iree had directed her subordinates to start their cutting after exactly a minute had passed since she left them. It was unmistakably Atlin¡¯s voice. ¡°How long do you think she¡¯ll last?¡± Iree asked with a smirk. She drew something from her pocket and tossed it at Rhys. Sharee¡¯s pin, which he¡¯d so disgustingly gifted to that meddling bitch, hit his chest and bounced off to clatter to the floor. The sheer horror on his face told her she¡¯d won with this measure. Even if he wouldn¡¯t do as Iree wanted in the name of Sharee, he¡¯d do it to protect Atlin. ¡°I¡¯ll make it simple. I won¡¯t kill her if you do one little thing for me.¡± ¡°Stop,¡± he gasped. ¡°Please stop. Please, finally, listen to me and stop!¡± ¡°That all depends on you. Every second you hesitate is another one she¡¯s torn up.¡± He squeezed his eyes shut. ¡°What do you want?¡± Iree grinned, bending down and tilting his chin up to make him look her in the eyes. ¡°All you have to do,¡± she said, ¡°is say yes when the time comes.¡± * It hurt. It hurt. It hurt, and Dorothea was trying not to scream, but she couldn¡¯t control how she reacted to the pain. A knife had been inserted into her arm just under the skin and then dragged along, flaying her like a fish. The wound started at her wrist and was spreading as the blade carved up her forearm. It was six inches long when Iree came bounding up the stairs, wearing a triumphant grin. ¡°You can stop now. Cut her ankles loose.¡± ¡°Iree,¡± Dorothea gasped through frantic tears and labored breath, ¡°don¡¯t, we can¡ª¡± She cut off with a shriek as Iree seized one of her wrists to prevent her from using her magic, then grabbed onto a bunch of hair with that same hand. Dorothea hit the floor hard, the chair she¡¯d been strapped to clattering down with her. The stairs beat against her back and legs as Iree dragged her down through the room with cells, one of which held Gren¡¯s inert form, then down to the doll room of the Catacombs. ¡°Hey, Rhys! Brought you a visitor!¡± ¡°Dorothea!¡± He started to rush closer, but Iree held up a hand and froze him. ¡°Sit.¡± She pointed to the bed, and he perched on the edge, watching them warily. Dorothea grit her teeth, trying not to sob with pain and fear. Iree dragged her to Rhys¡¯ feet, then hoisted her onto her own, keeping her injured arm in a death grip and displaying it to him. ¡°Now,¡± Iree began, chipper, ¡°Rhys, I have a single question for you.¡± He nodded, staring blankly ahead. ¡°Do you want to go back to the person you were six years ago, before Mom died?¡± she asked. ¡°Do you want Atlin to reverse time on your body and change who you are?¡± Dorothea went cold. It was something she¡¯d never considered before, but Iree was absolutely, horribly correct to think it was possible. It used the same principle she herself had explained for healing a wound. Rhys didn¡¯t hesitate. ¡°Yes,¡± he murmured. ¡°Do it.¡± ¡°Before you try to give me a speech about friendship circles and hugging it out, Atlin, realize I¡¯m doing this for his sake. Rhys wants to die, and you can save him this way. Would you really deny him happiness just for your own personal benefit? Letting him go can protect his life. So what¡¯ll it be?¡± Iree asked calmly. Those words were meant to manipulate her, trapping her with fake arguments that ignored the cruelty and selfishness of Iree¡¯s actions. There was no way Iree would protect Rhys¡¯ happiness if she went through with it. She¡¯d keep using him until he broke. ¡°Kill me, torture me if you want. I¡¯d rather die than do this to him,¡± Dorothea stated, soft and with utter conviction. Flame flared up in Iree¡¯s hand, Dorothea¡¯s skin bubbling beneath her touch. ¡°You¡¯re going to do it,¡± she hissed. ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± Dorothea snapped through tears. ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll see how long you keep this up.¡± Iree looked at Rhys. ¡°Just know this is your fault, for dragging her into this.¡± Dorothea tried to refute, but Iree¡¯s hand clamped over her mouth, threatening further burns. She could protest as much as she wanted, but Iree had her right where she wanted. She was hauled back up the stairs and locked into a cell with her wrists chained to be level with her head on either side. In no uncertain terms, she had lost. After Iree had turned the key, Dorothea spoke up weakly. ¡°Why? You knew about the epidemic, you destroyed my home, you hurt so many people¡­ Why?¡± Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. Iree sighed as if she were dealing with a bratty child. ¡°Why should I tell you? You¡¯re only here right now because you¡¯re foolish and weak-willed enough to think the world¡¯s problems can be solved if we all just hold hands and talk about our feelings.¡± Her voice turned to ice. ¡°You tried to come into our world playing by your rules, Atlin. As you can clearly see, that¡¯s not going to work.¡± Then she called to the upper floors. ¡°Bring Kingfisher in. I¡¯m done for now.¡± Everything to this point had been twisted to work out on Iree¡¯s terms. So Dorothea had been doomed from the start because she was trying to force her views in a world that would never accept them? And wasn¡¯t Dorothea being here proof of that? The stronger, more violent belief had won. Ariana had come down the stairs. Over her shoulder, Dorothea saw that her eyes were trained on her feet. Her face was totally blank as she awaited further orders. ¡°Watch her to make sure she doesn¡¯t try anything stupid. We still need her.¡± Iree went up the stairs two at a time, disappearing into a darkness Dorothea couldn¡¯t see beyond. ¡°Ariana, your hand¡ª¡± ¡°All I¡¯m here to do is make sure you don¡¯t hurt yourself. Just shut your mouth.¡± What more did she have to lose by saying whatever she wanted? ¡°You don¡¯t have to answer any of my questions, but¡­¡± She tried to move her hands up or down a smidge, but they were totally locked in place. ¡°Please let me heal you.¡± Ariana¡¯s shoulders started to tremble. ¡°Are you¡­¡± Her voice was grated by rage. ¡°Are you insane?! I helped capture you both, so why¡­!¡± She groaned with frustration and sat with her back to Dorothea¡¯s; she could feel just a little warmth through what divided them. ¡°You can look at anyone and see a shred of goodness, so you appoint yourself as the savior of all humankind and try to kindle that goodness, not caring about what¡¯s been done. You¡¯d forgive any monster if they gave you a good enough reason, wouldn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°No. Even if it¡¯s me, some things are unforgivable,¡± Dorothea said softly. She pressed closer, as much as she could. ¡°Why did Iree do that to you?¡± ¡°If you managed to get as far as you did and know as much as you do, she knows it¡¯s in part because I let you. So I got punished.¡± ¡°Ariana, please let me heal you,¡± she begged again. ¡°Please. That¡¯s too awful.¡± ¡°This is what I¡¯m talking about. If Iree had asked me to kill you, don¡¯t you know you¡¯d be dead? You¡¯ve lost. Your ideals won¡¯t win out.¡± Dorothea thought about the difference in Ariana now. She had never seemed like she¡¯d let Iree make her do things she didn¡¯t want to do. Ariana Kingfisher had given up. ¡°What else happened?¡± Ariana was so still that Dorothea could barely tell she was breathing. This heavy grief was familiar; she¡¯d seen it in Gren too. ¡°I killed my sister. I killed Pearlie. I thought¡­¡± Her head fell back, and she stared at the ceiling. ¡°Don¡¯t I deserve to be punished?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Seriously¡­ You¡¯re insane.¡± Ariana hugged her knees to her chest. ¡°I snuck a read of the letter Iree¡¯s mom gave her in all the chaos. And you know what? I don¡¯t think it matters.¡± ¡°How could it not matter?¡± Dorothea demanded. ¡°So many people died for a malicous lie!¡± ¡°The truth doesn¡¯t bring anyone back. And it could happen again and again. It¡¯s like you wrote in that journal of yours. There¡¯ll always be another war. The lives lost here won¡¯t matter centuries from now. Whoever wins or loses, lives or dies¡­ We¡¯re pretty stupid to think it has significance.¡± ¡°Ariana, please don¡¯t say that¡­¡± ¡°I joined Iree because I wanted to believe none of that was true. I didn¡¯t know what had been done. If I had, I¡­ Well, that doesn¡¯t matter. All I knew was that Iree was going to make a world without war, and I wanted that. I was willing to hold on to anything if it gave me a chance to live and live well, no matter how dirty my hands got.¡± Her fist flew up to beat against the bars, rattling them against Dorothea and making her jump. ¡°And now I learn it was all some kind of setup! But normal people can¡¯t take back the things they¡¯ve done, Dorothea, and not even you can change the whole world. I helped destroy Sirpo. I killed my own sister. I can¡¯t turn away from that, so I can at least accept the punishment I deserve.¡± ¡°There has to be something we can do¡­¡± There just had to be, but Dorothea couldn¡¯t think of a single way out. ¡°Just accept it¡¯s over.¡± Ariana shook her head. ¡°I¡¯ll find someone else to watch you. This is no good.¡± She stood and approached the stairs. ¡°I don¡¯t know what else Iree has planned for you, but I¡¯m washing my hands of it. Good luck.¡± The silence her absence left was cold, lonely and filled with thoughts Dorothea couldn¡¯t escape from. Were Shark and Cerid okay? How about Wesley? How could she possibly help Rhys now? What horrible things were they planning for Gren? What if Ariana was right and there really wasn¡¯t a point to anything? * ¡°And that¡¯s that,¡± Iree sighed from her place sitting on Cinder¡¯s desk, legs waving in the air. ¡°We have the Bittersweet Nightshade-user in custody and completely incapacitated. Atlin will break with torture. Then we can count on her cooperation.¡± Cinder was looking out the window, studying the sky as the sun set. The faint colors were reflected in his eyes, pooling in their depths. Iree had never seen those eyes be anything but clear; he was always sure, never hesitating, not even in the face of the slaughter of five years ago. ¡°We need that magic to ensure the prosperity of our people,¡± he stated. ¡°But ever allowing Miss Atlin to go free is dangerous, even if we think we¡¯ve collared her.¡± He turned, smiling slightly. ¡°Do you see the key distinction in that first statement, Miss Nobelis?¡± ¡°Sir?¡± He chuckled. ¡°Normally you¡¯d have understood instantly. Maybe it¡¯s because you¡¯re a woman that you wouldn¡¯t consider necessary measures like this.¡± Was he suggesting¡­? ¡°We need her magic. Not her specifically,¡± Iree realized. Because Atlin was the last of her line, Iree had considered her an irreplaceable asset. But Cinder was right; she could be replaced. If they were willing to treat Dorothea as a tool to create an heir of Eternal Rosemary they could raise into compliance, then Sacer¡¯s future would be completely secure. Cinder had made his decision. ¡°I¡¯ll find a suitable partner and we¡¯ll get started tomorrow morning. Be present to help restrain her, and conclude your business with Rhys Tamlin as soon as possible so we can have your full focus moving forward.¡± ¡°Yes sir.¡± Iree rolled her neck to stretch it as she left the office. ¡°Kingfisher,¡± she said as she entered the hall to find her waiting outside. ¡°You¡¯ll be coming with me. You couldn¡¯t even bear to be in the same room as Atlin earlier, so prove your loyalty by facing this without complaint.¡± Or else, came the deadly implication. Kingfisher just nodded. Iree was part satisfied and part disgusted to see her fall so low. Leaving that sad, loyal dog behind, she stopped to take a breather in her office and reflect on how she had gotten here, so close to the end. Iree¡¯s mother had approached Cinder Creed with a certain proposition six years ago. Her aim was to create a world without war by eliminating Ghuria. The magic inherent to the Nobelis family was called Datura Whispers. It was an annual magic that could create illusions in the mind of only one person at a time through touch. The illusions were up to the mind of the wielder, and it was hard to properly terrify someone without knowing them, so what use was it against the typical Ghurian soldier? But, Sharee had reasoned back then, the mind of a child was more susceptible. If she targeted a child of Ghuria¡¯s Fall family, what catastrophe might that unleash? She and Cinder already knew that this magic coursing through Ghurian territory would easily divide the population by at least half, and the survivors would face harsh conditions due to their lands dying off. It would only work because Datura Whispers was special in that the illusions, once they had taken hold, lasted for a few minutes even if the wielder lost contact with the target. Even if they died. Sharee agreed to sacrifice herself, and the rest was simple. She went on a supposed diplomatic visit to Ghuria with a group of other brave souls who agreed to their own deaths. Using details from reconnaissance Cinder had gathered during his own previous visits, she located the Fall residence. She brought food and medicine as a sign of good will. The Falls let their guard down in the face of this beautiful, soft-spoken woman. Iree hadn¡¯t been there, and none of the Sacerians who¡¯d gone that day lived to tell the tale. Still, she could surmise how it all went down. The soldiers would make quick work of killing the parents so they wouldn¡¯t interfere. Caught off guard, their deaths were quick and silent. If there were siblings, the youngest would have been chosen. Either that or Sharee would have picked the first one she reached while under the threat of Bittersweet Nightshade. Either way, it was Gren Fall. Sharee took him into a world of illusion, of a nightmare far deeper than the one he was already living out. She had pushed and pushed his mind until it broke, and he released his magic in a tidal wave to fight back. So came to be what Sacer called the epidemic. Iree¡¯s mother had died to start the war to end them all. If Iree didn¡¯t create peace, then it would all be for nothing. She couldn¡¯t live with that idea. She refused to. Now, the commander smiled in the fact of her victory. Her mother¡¯s spirit would know peace. 32. Rosemary and Nightshade A metallic creak echoed around Dorothea, bouncing across the walls of stone. The cell next to hers had opened, and a soldier she didn¡¯t know dragged out an unresponsive form from it. Gren. His wounds had been cauterized with fire. Black flakes of skin drifted down as he was heaved up the stairs. He¡¯d been stripped down to his undergarments, body now adorned in gouges, slashes, and blistering burns. His body was being made to bear the brunt of Sacer¡¯s rage. A cry reached her from upstairs, evolving into many voices yelling, cursing, and the crash of a heavy object hitting the floor. Then came the sounds of a body being battered, kicked and punched and thrown about. Wet, desperate gasps and coughs reached her just like screams would. This was all her fault. She understood now why Gren hadn¡¯t fought back against Cerid at the border. Because she¡¯d been there, he had restrained himself to not scare her off while waiting for her answer. And now they were here. Hoping that everyone would come to agree with her version of what was right had been nothing but arrogance. They already had their convictions; she was an interloper, valuable only for her magic. That was the only reason she was alive. It would be fine if it was just her, but Gren had been roped in, and he was going to be killed. Gren wasn¡¯t brought back down until things had gotten quiet. He was tossed back into his cell, and the silence afterwards was horrific. She waited and waited and waited until she heard him stirring, but words died in her throat. Why would he want to hear anything she had to say? What good would her words do him now? He let out a series of choking coughs, and she heard something splatter on the floor. Then a painful breath, and he rasped, ¡°Hello? Are you okay? Are you¡­here?¡± He sounded increasingly uncertain and scared as he continued. Not surprising herself, she immediately started crying. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, this is all my fault, I¡¯m so sorry for everything, and now you¡¯re¡ª¡± ¡°You¡¯re not responsible for the choices I made or the things I failed to do.¡± How was she supposed to respond to such kind words of comfort that she didn¡¯t deserve? All she could think of were more apologies, but those had already worn thin. ¡°How are you so calm?¡± She asked, whimpering over her words. ¡°They¡¯re going to kill you!¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll become an example. Public execution, I bet.¡± The Sacerians would relish the one blamed for the war being destroyed before their eyes. And they would make it as painful as possible. ¡°It¡¯s not right¡­¡± ¡°But it¡¯s what¡¯s happening, so I need you to listen to me. You still have value to them, so you need to stop worrying about me and focus on how you can convince them to let you go.¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to die. If you have a chance to get out of this alone, you should take it.¡± ¡°How can I just¡ª¡± ¡°Dying for the sake of honor or pity towards me is a waste.¡± But what was the point of going forward without purpose? ¡°You know¡­ When Iree attacked us, I thought that it would be better for you to live instead of me.¡± He was shocked, sucking in a faint breath in response to her words. ¡°You reached out to me, but I only got in the way of your goals. You have the stronger will¡­ You¡¯re stronger in every way, and you should have been able to keep fighting. I¡¯m sorry.¡± She closed her eyes and relaxed her body, giving in to the irresistible, dark flow of surrender. It was okay to stop now. She had at least tried to follow her conscience. Ghuria, Sacer and Sirpo would someday become relics of the past. Like Ariana said, nothing mattered. Long after whatever world this war created changed into a new one, more people would hate and kill each other. ¡°Hey. If that¡¯s your choice, then¡­¡± Gren¡¯s voice was softer, hesitant. ¡°Will you keep talking to me? Just for a little while.¡± She was kept tethered by this merest thread. Yes, she could at least do this much for him after all the chances he¡¯d given her and how hard he¡¯d tried. ¡°Of course¡­¡± He was quiet for a while. ¡°Tell me a story?¡± Think of something, anything. ¡°Once¡­ Once upon a time¡­¡± In the depths of her heart, she found a story her mother had recited countless times. ¡°A sapphire star fell to the ground. The waves its impact created resounded so strongly that the oceans were formed. The star remained rooted, crystallized at the bottom of the sea in a crater. Shocked so much by its landing, the star lost all memory of its former life. However, those who had been left behind still remembered. ¡°In particular, the sapphire star was loved by a ruby moon. In order to follow the star, the moon asked the friends of it and the star to knock it from the sky. The moon was battered and scarred when it fell, and it crumbled. Its floating pieces becoming land once it met the ocean. The moon, like the star, had lost its memories. Their friends in the sky, knowing that they too would forget if they tried to follow and help, watched and prayed for a miracle every day. ¡°But it never came. The star and the moon stayed as they were, sourcing the land and sea forever, content. They made new ties and loves. Eventually, their old friends bade them farewell, accepting that they had to find new happiness without the moon and star. And so it remains and ends, the eternal closeness and separation of two beings once united.¡± She paused. ¡°Is the ending happy or sad? What do you think?¡± ¡°It¡¯s happy,¡± Gren said after thinking. ¡°They¡¯re all fine in the end. They move on.¡± ¡°Yes. I thought it was sad when I was a child, but as I got older I realized that they all just had to go through life naturally, losing things and getting past their grief.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a good story. Thank you.¡± The silence he fell into scared her. Now that it was just the two of them here, she wouldn''t have known what to do without him. ¡°Gren?¡± She heard him crawling and realized that he had come to press against the wall between them, putting them as close as they could be. ¡°Can I ask you something?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± It took him a long time to utter words that were small and devoid of hope. ¡°Did I manage to make up for what I did? Even a little?¡± Because this was reassurance for his sake, she managed to hold back her tears. ¡°Yes,¡± she whispered, then repeated louder, ¡°Yes. You did your best to find your way. The hand you reached out to me, the words you used when you didn¡¯t have to, they made me try to find the truth. You made me look beyond myself and try to be a better person. Even if we didn¡¯t end up doing what we wanted to, you¡­ You put a little bit of goodness in the world. I think we can call that atonement enough.¡± Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. He laughed, a short peal of mixed joy and sorrow. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°No¡­ Thank you. For everything.¡± There was a strange sense of peace flowing through her, washing away the despair. He was here with her. She wasn¡¯t alone. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you a story too, if that¡¯s okay.¡± His words were coming easier now. Like her, he was finding what small semblance of peace he could in their shared acceptance of the end. ¡°Of course.¡± His breathing was strained. ¡°After I¡¯m gone, no one else will remember them. So if you¡¯d carry them with you for as long as you can, I¡¯d appreciate it.¡± ¡°Yes. Whatever you need.¡± He cleared his throat painfully. ¡°My mother and father were named Mishmi and Erell. My older sister was Grella, and my little sister was Fir.¡± ¡°Mishmi, Erell, Grella, and Fir,¡± Dorothea repeated. ¡°Yeah.¡± A sob choked him, but he coughed to shake it off. ¡°One time, Fir and I tracked mud in right after Dad, Erell I mean, had finished cleaning the floor, and¡­¡± He told her mundane stories of his childhood, abandoning any sense of guardedness or pretense. They both did. They weren¡¯t enemies or murderers, naive or worldly or cruel or kind, just themselves and what words they could offer one another. They talked the entire night through. She told him about Shark and Cerid and Rhys, about her mother and how her hatred had turned into love throughout the journey she¡¯d taken here in the lands below her cold mountain home. He talked about his family until she felt like she¡¯d met them and would never forget these little bits of their souls. Their former dreams and old pastimes, all the stupid and fun things they¡¯d done before all this had started. Despite knowing someone would come eventually, they both froze at the sound of footsteps an hour before dawn. It was Ariana, and Dorothea didn¡¯t have it in her to feel anything but pity. ¡°Dorothea¡­¡± Ariana dropped to a crouch in front of her cell, head bowed and body shaking. ¡°I really thought I¡¯d abandoned everything. I wanted to drown in my self-hatred and forget the rest of the world because that would be easier.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, Ariana. I understand.¡± She was doing the same thing, after all. ¡°They¡¯re going to breed you. Starting today.¡± Dorothea¡¯s body reacted as if she had physically been punched in the gut, and she released a strangled cry. She couldn¡¯t comprehend it anymore, how people could be so sick and evil towards each other. She heard Gren start screaming and throwing himself against the bars of his cell. ¡°I know I don¡¯t have the right to ask¡­¡± Ariana slid to the floor, putting her forehead and hands against it. ¡°Please save Pearlie. Please protect her. Please¡­ Save Ghuria.¡± ¡°We already tried, Ariana¡­ It¡¯s useless. You said it yourself,¡± Dorothea said numbly. ¡°I was wrong!¡± Ariana cried. ¡°I was wrong, and I was afraid! It¡­ It¡¯s hard to let go of your hatred. It¡¯s hard to admit that the things you can¡¯t take back are wrong. But that doesn¡¯t mean we stop trying after failing once! We can¡¯t quit on kindness after only being rejected one time!¡± She looked up at Dorothea with a desperate face. ¡°Right? Isn¡¯t that the kind of thing you¡¯d normally say?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± She was right. A kindness or a determination that could be defeated by a single failure wasn''t worthy of respect at all. She was honor-bound to take this second chance now that it was being offered. But she wasn¡¯t strong enough to do it alone. ¡°Hey, Gren?¡± she asked, feeling a new thread of possibility unravelling around them. ¡°Ready to give this another shot?¡± His breathing was hard, his voice firm. ¡°With all that I am.¡± ¡°Okay. You¡¯ve got it, Ariana. I¡¯ll keep fighting.¡± Just one more time. Even she could manage to stand up and go forth one more time, only because she wasn¡¯t alone. This was for others. Ariana let out a harsh laugh. ¡°It¡¯s good you still managed to keep some spirit in you¡­ You¡¯ll need it.¡± She stood before cutting through both cells. ¡°Things have come full circle, huh?¡± she noted quietly as Dorothea rushed past her to get to Gren. He opened his mouth, but whatever he¡¯d been about to say was replaced by a gasp as she fell to her knees and embraced him, arms winding tightly around his back. Her magic poured through his body, healing his wounds and restoring his stolen limbs. Once they were there, his arms constricted her so tightly she almost couldn¡¯t breathe. When they drew back, they both blinked at each other in surprise. It was as if they were facing entirely new people. Something new linked them now, born from their shared experience here. After pulling her to her feet, he looked to her wounded arm. It radiated pain, but there was nothing to do for it just now. ¡°We need to hurry. I¡¯ll tend to you as soon as I can,¡± he said quietly, glancing at Ariana to show he understood Dorothea still had business with her. ¡°Ariana¡­¡± Dorothea held her hand out. ¡°Come with us.¡± She shook her head slowly. ¡°No, I¡­¡± She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. ¡°It¡¯s the letter from Sharee. Take it as proof and go.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to be punished,¡± Dorothea insisted as she secured the page in her dress pocket. Still shaking her head, Ariana backed away. ¡°I can¡¯t. I¡¯m sorry.¡± The hope in her present when she¡¯d pleaded for Dorothea to find her will again was gone, replaced by the same exhausted resignation from before. ¡°I don¡¯t have a place there. Just¡­go while you still have the chance.¡± Dorothea didn¡¯t have the luxury of trying to grasp at ways to convince her when there was so much to do before their enemies came for them. ¡°I¡¯ll show you,¡± she said quickly. ¡°Your home will be waiting for you.¡± Even as she said it, she knew she wasn¡¯t the one Ariana wanted and needed to hear these words from. ¡°Just¡­ Protect Pearlie. Protect Pearlie.¡± Ariana showed no signs of moving. Making a snap decision, Dorothea turned to repair the bars of the cells and heal Ariana¡¯s freshly cut hand, regretfully leaving the severed arm untouched for the ruse. At least this way the proof wouldn¡¯t be so obvious even if Iree might still suspect Ariana. ¡°I¡¯ll do it if you run,¡± she insisted. ¡°If you promise to put effort into living. Between now and the time we come back for you, find something to live for and give it your all. If you turn around and run up those steps, I¡¯ll swear to protect your sister with my life.¡± Ariana hesitated. ¡°But I just¡­¡± ¡°Go!¡± Dorothea pushed her. ¡°This is a promise between us now, so¡­ S-So don¡¯t you dare go breaking it!¡± Gods, she was going to cry yet again. She¡¯d never been so terrified in her life. Her show of weakness actually seemed to put Ariana at ease. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll try.¡± She put her hand on Dorothea¡¯s arm, nodded at Gren, then disappeared into the shadows of the staircase. Dorothea¡¯s knees immediately buckled, and Gren caught her against him with a look of concern. ¡°Sorry,¡± she laughed. ¡°It¡¯s been an¡­interesting few days, no?¡± She looked towards the floor below them and straightened up. ¡°Gren, I know we need to hurry, but¡ª¡± ¡°This is something you have to do. I understand.¡± He positioned himself against the wall, hidden from the view of anyone who might come. ¡°I¡¯ll keep watch.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± She rushed down the stairs, finding Rhys awake and pacing the floor. His haggardness was disturbingly stark beneath the overly bright lights, but his eyes lit up when he saw her. ¡°Dorothea?!¡± He gasped and stumbled back when she threw her arms around him to heal him in the same way she had Gren. ¡°I¡¯ll explain everything later. We need to go.¡± She turned and rushed a few steps before realizing he wasn¡¯t following her. ¡°Rhys?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t do it anymore,¡± he said quietly. ¡°Not even for you. I¡¯m sorry.¡± She smiled gently. ¡°I¡¯m not asking you to fight with me. You don¡¯t have to fight anymore. Please come with me, because I want to help you. We¡¯re going to make a place for you. I swear.¡± He hesitated, meeting her eyes. ¡°You¡¯ve done so much for me, you¡¯re still doing and promising more, and I haven¡¯t done a thing to repay you. I should be fighting by your side at every moment. I should¡­¡± He stopped as Dorothea laughed. ¡°What?¡± ¡°That¡¯s just the thing, Rhys. You¡¯ll never, ever owe me anything. A life where you¡¯re free to be happy, heal, and live for yourself is all I could possibly want.¡± ¡°Dorothea, I¡­¡± He took a breath and smiled weakly. ¡°I know we¡¯re probably short on time, but there¡¯s one last thing I need to tell you so you understand.¡± ¡°Yes. Anything.¡± This moment was what would decide everything for Rhys Tamlin. 33. Clematis Final Tale Moving in a disoriented fog, Rhys approached Dorothea so she¡¯d be able to hear him. He didn¡¯t have the will to voice what he was about to in anything greater than a whisper. There was too much power in its weight. ¡°The day Sharee died,¡± he recounted, ¡°Iree came to me. She said she¡¯d be alone without me. She said she needed me. She said we were each other¡¯s only family now and we needed to stay together no matter what. She kissed me and held me. Held me so tight I couldn¡¯t¡­ No, for some reason, my body just¡­froze¡­? I said I didn¡¯t want to. I asked her to stop. She said she needed me, over and over again. Said she loved me. Said she¡¯d have nothing if I wasn¡¯t there. She pushed me onto the bed. Kissed me more. Put me inside her. Held me tight again, held me down and moved. Told me she loved me while she was crying, told me I was all she had and she wouldn¡¯t be able to take it if I left her alone. I didn¡¯t throw her off. Why didn¡¯t I throw her off? I didn¡¯t want all that, but I¡­¡± Dorothea had started crying, but Rhys barely noticed. ¡°All I¡¯ve ever done is follow. I¡¯ve been led down one path or another. I¡¯m so tired. Of being used, of all of this. If I try to live for myself, I¡¯m a traitor to the ones who got me to where I am. I owe them so much. If I follow them, I¡¯ll always feel like this. I¡¯ll always hurt someone. I¡¯ll kill more. If I¡¯m either a murderer or a betrayer, then I should just¡­¡± As his thoughts turned to reflection, his self-awareness came back. Wasn¡¯t the event he¡¯d just shared, that thing that made him constantly feel so dirty and used up, just burdening her more? ¡°I¡¯m sorry for saying all this, I just¡­ I don¡¯t know if I can change myself. If I wasn¡¯t even able to¡­ I don¡¯t know what I should have done, what I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡± He stopped to look to her for answers. ¡°I didn¡¯t push her off.¡± ¡°Rhys,¡± Dorothea sobbed, one finger hooking around his sleeve. ¡°That¡¯s rape. She forced you.¡± She looked up at him, the utterly shattered expression on her tear-soaked face cutting him through to the core. ¡°I¡­I should have¡­¡± He should have been able to defend himself. He should have done so many things. She searched his face. ¡°How often does she say these things to you? Has she always made you feel like you owed her something you didn¡¯t want to give? Rhys, no one has that right.¡± So he hadn¡¯t been wrong to be so afraid of Iree? He hadn¡¯t been wrong to, deep down, want to tear the both of them apart all this time. He¡¯d been raped. Such a strange word for him to come to terms with all of a sudden. It had torn at him for five years now, and it would do so until he died. ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± he managed, finding it nearly impossible to breathe, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to. Dorothea, I¡­¡± He clutched at his chest. ¡°Aren¡¯t I too far gone? I killed a child. I¡­ I¡¯ve been getting what I deserve. All this pain, all these things that made me hate myself and want to die, it¡¯s just karma, right?¡± He took a step back from her. ¡°I was punished because I should have been. I don¡¯t deserve to go on.¡± She wiped her face, and he realized suddenly how resolute she looked. ¡°That¡¯s not true. I want you in this world, Rhys. You deserve to be in it and heal. It¡¯s okay to be gentle with yourself even while you grapple with things like guilt and repentance. Whatever path you want to walk, I¡¯ll be right here for you. I¡¯ll do anything to help you, anything at all. Because you¡¯re my friend and I love you.¡± Without expectation or looking for anything in return, she was willing to promise him the world. That was what gave him the strength to hold on. He was allowed to try to live. Despite everything he¡¯d done, despite all these sins that could never be cleansed, even he had the right to keep going. He reached his hand out, feeling like he¡¯d crumble if he tried to move on his own. ¡°Let¡¯s go, Dorothea.¡± She nodded, took his hand and led the way upstairs. Rhys got the instant urge to flee when he saw the Bittersweet Nightshade-user standing there, but he reminded himself that this reactionary fear was also a false part of the things he¡¯d been taught since he was a child. ¡°I¡¯ll take us straight to our destination,¡± Dorothea stated, taking a few deep breaths. The Bitt¡­ No, it was Gren, he grasped her hand, and a faint red glow dusted Dorothea¡¯s cheeks. ¡°Where to?¡± Rhys was dizzy from the possibilities before them, and it was all he could do right now to follow. As if knowing, Dorothea gave his hand a squeeze. She replied to Gren. ¡°First, to Sirpo. We restore my home and then turn to yours. We¡¯re going to protect Ghuria.¡± She paused, looking at them both. ¡°We¡¯re going to change this world. No doubt.¡± Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. Gren wore an expression of quiet determination and hope that matched Dorothea¡¯s perfectly. ¡°I¡¯m with you.¡± Rhys steeled himself for the journey ahead. The healing, both for himself and the two warring nations, would be no simple task. Rather than feeling overwhelmed or daunted as he usually would, however, he felt lighter than he had in years. The sharing had been the first step. The lightness wouldn¡¯t last, but he knew it was possible. ¡°We¡¯ll give it a shot, won¡¯t we?¡± he laughed. And so they took the first step towards the future they would create together. * Shark Olyen was taking their frustration out on their bedroom door, levelling kick after kick at it. The soldiers that had been stationed outside made no response, not even when their foot busted straight through. They staggered as they tore free, tipping over and falling to the floor. It was a very humbling position, one that gave their thoughts room to take over once their body was still. Where was Thea? Was she safe? Why had Shark been put under house arrest and a constant guard when Iree¡¯s squad should have been sent out on a rescue mission long before now? Something was very wrong. They leapt up as a familiar voice sounded quietly from outside. ¡°Pardon me. The two of you are hereby relieved of your post.¡± There was a pause as hushed words came from the guards. ¡°Yes. Thank you for your concern, but I will be fine. Now go.¡± Shark clutched at their chest as Cerid came into the room. He eyed the jagged hole in the door, shook his head, and then looked at Shark mournfully. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t¡¯ve done that if somebody had told me what was going on,¡± they muttered. ¡°Shark¡­¡± Cerid hugged them tightly, squeezing Shark¡¯s arms to their sides. ¡°I am sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I did not¡­ If I had known, I¡­ I kept myself in denial, and now this!¡± ¡°You¡¯re scaring me.¡± Shark wiggled free to hold him back, clinging to his jacket. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± ¡°I do not know where to start,¡± Cerid said with a weak, insincere laugh. ¡°It is¡­You were kept under watch because you and Dorothea were both under investigation for treason.¡± ¡°What?!¡± Shark wrenched away, searching Cerid¡¯s face. They would hate him for telling a joke like this, but they still wanted it to be one. ¡°You have been cleared.¡± ¡°Where¡¯s Thea?¡± Shark demanded. ¡°Where is she?!¡± ¡°Shark, please listen. I know it will be hard to believe, but everything I am about to say is the truth.¡± Tugging gently, he guided Shark to the bed to sit. ¡°Dorothea is cooperating with Gren Fall. She left with him of her own volition during our last battle and was subsequently captured and interrogated. At some point during the night, the two of them escaped with Captain¡­ With Rhys.¡± Cerid paused. ¡°I witnessed it myself. During our last skirmish, she wanted to go with him. She asked me to stand down herself.¡± Wait, this was all too much at once. ¡°No. She was coerced somehow.¡± Why would Thea cooperate with the enemy? Had she done it to protect Shark and the others somehow? That had to be it. She¡¯d been forced and¡ª ¡°Shark.¡± Cerid took their face in his hands. ¡°Everything I said is true. Sentiments she expressed to Commander Nobelis when questioned erase all doubt.¡± The word interrogation just now caught up to them. ¡°Cerid, did they hurt her?¡± ¡°I do not know. I have also been kept out of the loop since it happened. Commander Nobelis only now got me up to speed.¡± ¡°I have to go, I have to save her, I¡­¡± But their legs weren¡¯t moving. If all of this was true, then why hadn¡¯t Thea said anything? Why was Shark of all people the last to know? If Thea hadn¡¯t shared her doubts, then no matter what she told herself¡ªmaybe she hadn¡¯t wanted to worry them¡ªthat meant she already thought they couldn¡¯t be trusted. But why?! The Ghurians had taken Sirpo, taken Shark¡¯s father, much as they hated him, taken Thea¡¯s parents, and they stood in the way of Shark and Cerid¡¯s goal. For Thea to willingly take the hand of Gren Fall, a mass murderer, was unforgivable. Dorothea had already switched sides in her heart. If things had gotten this far, that had to be the indisputable truth. And if that was the case, then that made her Shark¡¯s¡­ ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡± They clutched at their chest as their world started to spin in all senses. ¡°I can¡¯t follow her,¡± Shark whispered. For Thea to join that side, the side that had caused so much pain just because they wanted to take and take¡­ No. No. Shark wouldn¡¯t let this happen. They knew who the enemy was. They knew who to destroy to stop Dorothea from going down the wrong path, to create a better world for everyone. ¡°I¡¯ll crush them all and take her back. Without a doubt. All of them¡­¡± So absorbed in these thoughts, they didn¡¯t notice the newfound horror in Cerid¡¯s eyes as he looked at them. 34. Nightshades Dreams Every night was the same. Every dream ended in the same way, even if it didn¡¯t always follow the same path. He dreamt of his older sister Grella and younger sister Fir. His mother Mishmi and his father Erell. Dad always sang, bellowing off-key while he cooked or cleaned or carved wood. Mom read poetry and danced and taught them all about the daily meditation it took to control their magic. Grella let him sloppily braid her hair, and she¡¯d wear it like that for the rest of the day. Fir followed him around, clutching his sleeve as they both got used to living in a body that emanated death. Gren Fall didn¡¯t understand why he¡¯d been the one to live. In his dreams, they accused him, they mauled and clawed at him. Fir, whose life he had failed to protect after their parents and older sister had been slain, haunted him the most. He didn¡¯t want to be the one who¡¯d survived, but he wouldn¡¯t wish the burden on any of them either. Still, those dreams were his only chance to embrace them. He had learned long ago the importance of telling the people he loved how precious they were while he still could. The dead could not feel, so it was his responsibility to recognize them, to take in their hurt, and honor them. He honored them in what way he could, every night without fail. * Sirpo was restored, inch by draining inch. The explanations Dorothea gave were hard to accept, but the truth spread that Sacer¡¯s military leader was to blame for their ruthless executions. On top of that, the epidemic and the war itself were all a a sick plot. Dorothea could barely believe it even now. Her recovery was messy, passing in a blur of wrenching pain, sweat and vomit and blood that made her fear for the absolute worst, and dreams she forgot but was still haunted by somehow. Reviving everyone and restoring the buildings took eighteen years off her lifespan, and her body was punishing her for pushing so much so fast. On the tenth night since the escape, the endless sky red-dyed in dusk¡¯s approach as it peeked through her parted curtains, there came a soft knock at the door. After a few seconds, it creaked open the slightest bit. ¡°Sharkie¡­?¡± she mumbled, rolling over to blink blearily at the figure shrouded in shadow. ¡°It¡¯s me,¡± Gren said. The disappointment for it not to be her friend was immense, but to her surprise so was the relief. Even if Shark were here, would they acknowledge her feelings, so disparate from the convictions they had expressed? ¡°Come in.¡± Fumbling, she lit the oil lamp on the nightstand and propped herself up beside her gargantuan teddy bear. Mr. Wink had proven to be good, solid comfort. ¡°What do you need?¡± ¡°I came to check on you.¡± He paused, the floor creaking as he edged in another hesitant step. ¡°Do you feel up to talking?¡± ¡°Yes. Sorry I¡¯m not very presentable.¡± ¡°I think we¡¯re past caring about that.¡± Gren sounded faintly amused. She chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± He rocked back on his heels and leaned against the door after shutting it behind him. ¡°How do you feel?¡± He gestured to the injury on her arm, a doctor having sewn it closed while she¡¯d been unconscious several days ago. That and the burn Iree had inflicted had her in constant pain, but they were slowly healing without complications. ¡°I can¡¯t complain. But how are you?¡± ¡°Fine.¡± He paused, and she felt an intense pressure in the silence. She couldn¡¯t read him. His presence was filled with mystery that made her hunger for the answers to questions she didn¡¯t know how to ask. Their closeness was one of chance, words they had only said because they thought they were going to die. But she still meant every part of it, so she said next, ¡°You said you wanted to atone, Gren.¡± He straightened. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I do too. So whatever the council says in the morning¡­¡± She¡¯d judged herself fit enough and called a meeting for the following day. ¡°You¡¯ll have my power with you regardless.¡± He scuffed his boot along the floor. ¡°Okay.¡± His expression didn¡¯t show much, but she thought he looked uncomfortable all the same. Without thought, she patted the bed in front of where her crossed legs rested beneath a stack of blankets. ¡°Do you want to sit?¡± A lengthy silence. ¡°Would that make you more comfortable?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± His newfound awkwardness was understandable; while she saw him as an ally, not all Sirpoans agreed. In the face of being around many relatives of victims of the epidemic, Gren had become skittish and reticent. ¡°I think it¡¯s a shame for there to be distance between us.¡± He looked down at the covers, then back at her. ¡°You want me closer?¡± It took her a moment to understand why he sounded flustered, and then she was blushing. ¡°No no, I meant, uh, emotionally! We¡¯re allies now. I trust you and I want you to trust me, so don¡¯t hold back your thoughts.¡± ¡°Hm.¡± Gren thought, then nodded. ¡°Okay.¡± The dancing flame of the lamp cast hectic, shuddering shadows on his face, making his eyes flash in alternating glints. For a moment she lost her train of thought at the sight. ¡°S-So yes, again, regardless of what the council decides, my personal allegiance lies with Ghuria now.¡± ¡°Have you really thought that through? Now is the perfect chance to back out and remain here, safe.¡± He paused. ¡°To be frank, it¡¯s your last chance. Once we make it to Ghuria you¡¯ll need to follow through. It would be cruel to give us hope and then back out at some point down the line. It would be unforgivable. Do you understand?¡± Of course she did, and she was prepared. ¡°I won¡¯t turn back now.¡± To do this, she had to be more than ready to put her life on the line. Gren nodded, and just then she couldn¡¯t tell if the way his eyes flashed was a trick of the light or a sign of intense feeling. ¡°I see.¡± She wanted to completely reassure him. ¡°I¡¯ll use all of my strength to put an end to this war. That¡¯s my promise to you. To all of Ghuria, Sacer and Sirpo as well.¡± He let out a short breath. Laughter? ¡°Do you always make such bold declarations?¡± ¡°This is new for me, actually¡­¡± How to sound strong, how to be strong? She was still trying to figure it all out. ¡°Do I sound arrogant or naive?¡± His momentary silence was confirmation. ¡°But I don¡¯t mind it. I mean, it¡¯s¡­¡± He shook his head, giving up on explaining, and offered a small smile instead. Somehow, even that slight expression was just so¡­so dear, and meaningful. They spoke of their plans. All of Sirpo would mobilize to aid Ghuria in terms of trade if that was what the council decided. If not, it would be the two of them scrambling back to the shriveled lands below with empty hands. The next morning, a crisp and clear one, she lifted her hands towards the ceiling and was surprised to find that they hadn¡¯t changed. If it was possible for the entire thing to have been a dream, for life to still be simple and clean and ignorant¡­ No part of her desired that world anymore. There was important work to be done. By the time she¡¯d completed her morning routine, Gren was nowhere to be seen. That said, she approached her parents¡¯ former bedroom with soft, hesitant steps. Though Gren had journeyed back to Ghuria once in the past several days to explain the current situation to his remaining allies, he¡¯d stayed last night in Dorothea¡¯s home. Rhys, wanting privacy between his work of helping to organize and calm Sirpo¡¯s people, was holed up in Shark¡¯s apartment and would meet them at their destination. A small part of Dorothea rebelled against entering a room that had so long remained a relic to things lost. The man indirectly responsible for the death of her mother was now in her bed. Life had spun an odd web. Gren was still sleeping, curled up and breathing softly. His arms constricted a pillow to his chest while his face was buried in it. Pale morning light gave the scene a sense of tranquility while making his rosy-brown skin seem to glow faintly. Probably her imagination, that. She hesitated after reaching out to touch his bare shoulder. A sense of inappropriateness struck her, but just standing there made things worse. ¡°Gren. It¡¯s time. Wake up,¡± she said softly, noticing the hollow of a dimple. ¡°Mmrgh,¡± he groaned, rolling over in mindless protest. The blankets fell away from his back to reveal sharp shoulder blades and defined muscles that flexed as he stretched out. Oh goodness. Oh goodness. ¡°Gren. Hey.¡± A poke to his back that was more like a jab. Then another. ¡°Wakey wakey¡­¡± ¡°Mrr¡­ Hmph.¡± Through her exasperation, she still found the whole thing a little adorable. ¡°Gren! Get up please!¡± She reached over, wrenched the pillow away and smacked him with it. ¡°Hwuh! Yeah, I¡¯m up,¡± he groaned, sitting up and letting out a yawn as he stretched. ¡°I¡¯m up¡­¡± He rubbed at his eyes, then really looked at her for the first time. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Good morning¡­¡± Dorothea looked at her feet to find the alarm clock she¡¯d lent him there. So¡­ Did he always have a hard time getting up? Moreover, had she always found habits like that this cute? ¡°Well hello first off, I was concerned as to your whereabouts which is why I¡¯m here and I apologize if the situation seems at all indecent to you not that I find anything particularly indecent about your sleeping habits nor do I find anything pleasing about them I feel quite neutral and so it is time for us to start our business for the day so that is why I am here and I apologize for touching you!¡± Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°Uh¡­¡± Gren cast a glance to his shirt DEAR GODS his pants were there too, folded on a table across the room. ¡°Sorry. I¡¯ll only be a few minutes.¡± ¡°Yes. Of course.¡± Dorothea spun around as she spoke, putting her hands to her warm cheeks as she marched from the room. It was a surprise. He woke with so little of a guard about him, groggy and languorous. How human. Her previous image of him and the reality of the boy clashed in a way that made her feel ashamed. In minutes he joined her on the porch, tying his uneven hair up into its standard messy bun, several strands hanging about his neck. When he noticed her looking, he smiled faintly. ¡°It shows I cut it myself, huh?¡± ¡°No, you¡¯re handsome. No, I mean, your hair is handsome, I mean it¡¯s fine¡­! I mean¡­ Ugh.¡± She was being ridiculous, the worst part being that she didn¡¯t understand why. He let out a short breath, which she now figured was his version of a laugh. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m not the type to misunderstand a simple statement as a significant one.¡± ¡°O-Oh¡­ Oh. Um. That¡¯s¡­¡± Why did she feel disappointed? But no matter. ¡°That¡¯s good, haha! We have business, don¡¯t we!¡± Though she¡¯d much prefer to stay here enjoying this respite, however awkward, it was time. ¡°No matter what¡­ I¡¯m with you.¡± She smiled shyly as she returned the words he¡¯d given to her. ¡°Isn¡¯t that right?¡± He looked dumbly surprised for a moment before a broad smile flashed across his face, one that quickly disappeared as he returned to the careful placidity that defined him. ¡°Of course.¡± Amazing, that smile. It, and him, made her feel like anything was possible. But what right did she have to happiness in light of what the people she¡¯d left behind might be feeling or going through? Shark, Cerid, Ariana¡­ What were they doing now? ¡°Are you okay?¡± Gren asked. ¡°Hm? Oh, yes!¡± Dorothea forced a laugh. ¡°I got distracted for a moment. Forgive me.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± He shook his head. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± ¡°Right.¡± No time to dwell on what might already be lost. There was far too much at stake. * The council meeting concluded, and Gren braced for the chill that would rake its claws through him the moment he went back outside into the freeze at Dorothea¡¯s side. Though she was trying to maintain her composure, her hands started to tremble the moment they were out of sight of the remaining members of the Sirpoan council. ¡°They all said no,¡± she said. ¡°Right,¡± Gren confirmed. ¡°Not one of them wanted to help.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± ¡°I thought that once we explained¡­¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°We were prepared for this, but I didn¡¯t realize I would be so disappointed.¡± ¡°You did your best. We all did. After what happened, they¡¯re just scared for their own safety,¡± Rhys reasoned. He glanced at Gren. ¡°That¡¯s all. No need to think of anything else.¡± Rhys Tamlin. Gren examined him sidelong. He always seemed to be deep in thought almost to the point of total distraction, but he was sincere and caring. His words just now for Gren¡¯s benefit were evidence of that. ¡°Appreciated, but we all know it was because I¡¯m involved,¡± Gren stated. He was a killer, an instigator of war no matter how unintentional. Why would the Sirpoans offer help to the land he wanted to save? Dorothea shook her head vehemently. ¡°I told them what kind of person you are and the truth behind the epidemic. Their failure to come to terms with that is no fault of yours.¡± She offered a confident smile, but his eye was drawn to her arm. He wondered if she had really processed any of what had happened to her¡ªit was a life that had been upended and torn multiple times in a short window of time¡ªor if she was just pushing forward on fumes. ¡°Wesley will be here soon.¡± He was coming up to ferry them to Ghuria so they could start working as soon as possible. Gren was just glad he¡¯d had the sense to escape and hang back in Ghuria after the last battle instead of doing something reckless. Dorothea¡¯s smile was awkward. ¡°He¡¯s¡­an interesting man.¡± ¡°They won¡¯t all accept you instantly, but they¡¯ll come around.¡± ¡°It¡¯s really fine. They¡¯re not obligated to forgive me. I¡¯ll just try my best.¡± Grinning, she gave him a thumbs up. She was definitely trying too hard to seem happy. Gren knew he was right because Rhys was frowning too. ¡°I¡¯ll keep you safe, you know,¡± he said quietly. It was difficult to say things like this and to sort out exactly how he felt. ¡°You¡¯re essential.¡± ¡°Well, my magic is,¡± she corrected with a laugh. ¡°But isn¡¯t it the same for you? If I¡¯m essential, then you¡¯re¡­the heart. You¡¯re the heart of everything, Gren. You reached out first, remember?¡± Everything she had said to comfort him when he¡¯d been convinced he was going to die came back, suffusing his chest with heat. Most, when they put him in association with the heart, were convinced he lacked one. She had a way of saying amazing things so casually his head spun. ¡°Hey.¡± Dorothea¡¯s smile looked a bit easier. ¡°Can I take you guys somewhere before we go?¡± Rhys smiled with gentle indulgence. ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Mm,¡± Gren agreed. She started off but stopped when he tapped her shoulder. Rushed footsteps had approached from behind. ¡°Miss Atlin?¡± A family of four stood behind them, two men and two children. The man who had spoken carried a large box in his arms. His gaze darted nervously to Gren, who tried to squint less to look friendlier but failed because the light bouncing off the snow was too intense and unfamiliar. Besides, how was he supposed to act when he didn¡¯t know what he might have done to these people with his magic? Dorothea patted his arm as if reading his thoughts. ¡°What can I do for you?¡± The man unloaded the box into Gren¡¯s arms, shocking him with his willingness to risk touching. ¡°We all knew what the council would decide, really. We¡¯re a nation in shock and in recovery. That said, it¡¯s not much, but here. Medicine, nonperishable foods¡­¡± He paused. ¡°Good luck.¡± Dorothea stepped forward to grip his hands. ¡°Thank you. Thank you.¡± The man seemed taken aback, but he smiled, put at ease by her sincerity. ¡°There are more of us,¡± he said. ¡°If you¡¯re willing to wait, we can put together what we have to give you.¡± Dorothea looked to Gren, and he nodded. ¡°We¡¯ll help move things along, then. Thank you thank you thank you!¡± She shook the group¡¯s hands vigorously one by one, surprising them into smiles. ¡°This means so much.¡± Gren sighed softly, relieved. A little was far better than nothing, and they would take everything they could get. Besides, she looked happy. Morning bled away, and the afternoon drifted past until night concluded their efforts. They appealed to every Sirpoan citizen. Sometimes an impassioned speech and heartfelt conversations lasting an hour or more still ended in failure. Rhys, making it obvious to Gren that he¡¯d been a public spokesperson at some point, was instrumental in turning many people on the edge of refusing around. Others wordlessly handed over what they could. Wesley, having arrived at midmorning, kept busy transporting shipments. He wasn¡¯t the type to ask for or win favors, so this was the best place for him. Once they were finished, he met Dorothea, Rhys and Gren at the former¡¯s house. ¡°Are we done?¡± He yawned widely as he rubbed at the imprints his goggles had made. ¡°Good, now let¡¯s go.¡± ¡°Hold on.¡± Gren turned to Dorothea. ¡°Where did you want to take us earlier?¡± Her eyes widened. ¡°No, it¡¯s not important.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go just for a little while,¡± Rhys urged. She looked at Wesley nervously. ¡°Is it okay¡­?¡± He shrugged. ¡°I¡¯ll just follow at a distance and then we can get out of here.¡± Dorothea led the way past the outskirts of Iluna. They waded through the dancing lights of lampposts that guided them to a black, fathomless lake. Wesley veered to stroll around its perimeter while the others approached a dock. ¡°You know,¡± Rhys said, ¡°I think I¡¯ll go try to break the ice with him. You two go ahead.¡± ¡°You¡¯re braver than I am,¡± Dorothea laughed. She turned to Gren. ¡°Then¡­?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± She started walking, and he turned over his shoulder to look at Rhys. Their eyes met, and Rhys gave a small, knowing smile before putting his hands in his pockets and approaching Wesley. Gren pursed his lips and put his knuckles to his cheek, embarrassed. So he was that transparent. ¡°I really feel my age right now¡­¡± Sometimes he forgot that in the end he was still just an eighteen-year-old who knew more about the easiest way to snap a neck than making friends, much less¡­whatever it was he was feeling towards her. ¡°What?¡± Dorothea turned back and tilted her head at him. ¡°Nothing.¡± She smiled. ¡°Come on.¡± Water frothed rhythmically against the dock posts, but otherwise all was quiet. The night felt so delicate that Gren found himself holding his breath. It had been years since he¡¯d had the chance to bask in such safe stillness. He lost himself to tranquil thoughtlessness until Dorothea pressed her shoulder to his, jostling him lightly. He almost turned his head to question her, but with their nearly identical heights and close proximity it would have been inappropriate to do even that much. ¡°You were shivering.¡± She spoke just above a whisper, indicating that she too was bowing to the power of this place. They stood for a few minutes longer in silence until she said, ¡°I used to come here when I was at my most uncertain.¡± Her words wrapped around him before drifting away on the wind. ¡°I would look out and feel renewed. It¡¯s aweing and calming at the same time, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Mm.¡± He¡¯d stay here for a long time if he had the luxury. ¡°I wanted to share this with you especially. It reminds me of the story with the sapphire star and the ruby moon.¡± Indeed, the moon was reflected on the surface of the water as if it had plunged in. ¡°It does bring it to mind.¡± Along with the circumstances she¡¯d told the tale in. It was a miracle they¡¯d survived. Chance, rather, and they owed much gratitude to Ariana Kingfisher. ¡°Do you believe in the Gods?¡± The query held no expectation or judgment. ¡°No. But you do?¡± ¡°Yes. I love the stories, interpreting them for myself and thinking about what it means and what I should take into my life from reading them.¡± She let out a shy laugh. ¡°It must seem silly to you.¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± He paused. ¡°I¡¯d like to hear more stories someday. If you want to tell them to me.¡± Anything would be fine, really. He just liked to hear her talk. She also didn¡¯t seem to mind that he wasn¡¯t a wordsmith, which helped. ¡°I¡¯d be happy to.¡± He searched hard to find the right words, and he crafted something after several minutes of thought. ¡°Once upon a time,¡± he said quietly, ¡°a man smothered by death met a woman trapped by falsehoods. They reached each other and began to seek their own justice. The hope they gathered gave them the strength to move past despair and face the future.¡± He looked ahead, staying almost inhumanly still as she turned her face towards his, caught her breath, and whisked back around to face forward. ¡°How do you think that story ends?¡± He was somehow amazed that she responded just as easily as usual. ¡°Happily, of course.¡± If she said it, it would have to be so. 35. Azaleas Pursuit Commander Nobelis, stuck in meeting after meeting after recent events, had left Cerid to conduct a press conference all on his own. He stood on the podium in the center of the meeting room in his house, taking soft, shallow breaths. Members of the press seated themselves in the columns where the council members usually were. The public swarmed in the between spaces, filling the room with a sticky, anticipatory heat. It wasn¡¯t all bad though. Shark had managed to find a spot near the door despite how many people tried to shoulder them out of the way, and they would give a slight nod or smile whenever their eyes met Cerid¡¯s. Still, the energy of the room was already off. It had been eleven days since Gren Fall and Dorothea¡¯s escape, and the general public was scared and angry that nothing had yet been done. The reason for the army¡¯s lack of movement would be made clear. Cerid just had to answer questions calmly and honestly. Calm breaths, calm breaths¡­ He was not calm. ¡°Greetings!¡± His voice cracked. This was his vital first impression, and it cracked. ¡°Ahem. As you know, I am Cerid Creed, captain of the Sacerian army.¡± He pushed his shoulders back and lifted his chin in a false display of confidence. ¡°None of us have use for platitudes, nor will I twist the truth. Dorothea Atlin has joined the Ghurian cause. However, this does not mean our loss. I shall outline this guarantee on our commander¡¯s part throughout the following proceedings.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t even trust Iree Nobelis to clean the piss stains off my toilet!¡± came an enraged call. ¡°How can I trust her to protect my life? My children¡¯s lives!¡± Cerid buried his panic. He had to show Udara¡¯s people that they didn¡¯t need to live in fear. ¡°All I ask is that you listen with open minds. We are reeling from this unexpected betrayal just as you are, and it is our sworn duty to rectify things and protect each one of you. Now. Please ask me whatever you wish. I will clear up any and all concerns.¡± One reporter raised their pen in the air. ¡°You just guaranteed Sacerian victory. How do you intend to make good on that promise considering our army faces both Bittersweet Nightshade and Eternal Rosemary now?¡± It was a seemingly invincible combination, but that was far from the case. ¡°Eternal Rosemary is a parasitic magic. With each use, it wears away the life of its user.¡± Cerid paused as gasps and murmurs flowed around the room. ¡°Dorothea Atlin is the last of her line, and she does not have much longer to live, especially given the strain the restoration of Sirpo would have caused.¡± He tried to hide his regret. He had wanted to protect Dorothea, but things had ended up like this instead. ¡°She will not pose a threat for much longer.¡± ¡°And how will Sirpo go forward in its relations with Sacer now that its leader has aligned herself with Ghuria?¡± another reporter asked. ¡°Correspondence received from Sirpoan representatives has stated that it does not intend to ally itself with either nation. We do not know the current status of Dorothea Atlin¡¯s leadership.¡± A man called Sil had personally delivered a letter to Udara¡¯s fort watch, one succinctly outlining that Sirpo had been restored, would no longer be allying itself with Sacer, and also¡­ Well, this was the complication. ¡°Additionally, Ghuria has declared a ceasefire,¡± Cerid stated. ¡°They promise no raids or attacks of any kind starting from this moment, so long as Sacer stays its hand.¡± A buzz of disapproval swelled; no one would believe that. Cerid didn¡¯t, not really, but still he wondered. Dorothea had something to do with this attempt at a truce, no doubt. Someone voiced the very questions on Cerid¡¯s mind next: ¡°Why would she join the Ghurians even knowing they destroyed her home, and why wouldn¡¯t Sirpo lend us aid to help the fight against the Ghurians that killed them previously?¡± He didn¡¯t understand it either. There was sympathy and then there was this. ¡°Dorothea Atlin¡¯s motives are of less concern than the way her actions endanger us. Be assured that we are not taking your safety for granted. We will be on guard.¡± He couldn¡¯t shake his uneasiness. Dorothea had asked him what he would do if he were tasked with ending the war without further bloodshed. He had believed for years that the path he had set out on was the only way. Was another truly out there? It seemed impossible. Another audience question snapped him out of his thoughts. ¡°What about Iree Nobelis¡¯ squad and leadership? What revisions will be made? Surely things can¡¯t continue as they are.¡± They had arrived at the next thing he dreaded discussing. ¡°I am not a part of the decision as to whether Miss Nobelis will remain commander. However, due to Rhys Tamlin¡¯s apparent defection, there are squad openings that shall be filled.¡± Cerid didn¡¯t know what Iree would do next. He as a captain had let this all happen while being blissfully unaware and unacting. One reporter, looking concerned, asked, ¡°We¡¯re sure the former captain isn¡¯t being held against his will?¡± A scoff came from the back of the room. ¡°Let the sympathizer rot with the rest of them!¡± The words were followed by cheers. Cerid chomped down on his tongue to stop a bitter retort. No matter what, he still believed that Rhys and Dorothea were good people at heart. That was what made this all so hard. ¡°We have to assume that he left of his own free will.¡± The next question didn¡¯t help his frustration. ¡°Then what about the continued involvement of Ariana Kingfisher? Do you think it¡¯s a coincidence that Dorothea Atlin betrayed us for that woman¡¯s homeland after the two were in such close contact?¡± ¡°Miss Kingfisher has demonstrated her loyalty, determination and quality of character many times. Next question.¡± He tried to focus and made his way through the rest of the conference without issue. When it was finally done, he looked for Shark as the crowd dispersed. They were among the very first to leave, storming out with their jaw set. That couldn¡¯t be good. Shark had seemed unbalanced since Dorothea¡¯s departure, and their nerves were only wearing thinner as the days passed. He had to do something to help, but what? He made to give chase, but his approach was blocked. Ariana took his arm, steering him into the main parlor and waiting until they were alone. ¡°Just wanted to let you know that you¡¯re an idiot. Determination? Quality of character? That¡¯s not me at all. What bullshit were you feeding them?¡± ¡°That is the truth of how I see you. There is no doubt in my mind that if any of your comrades were truly in trouble, you would fight harder than anyone to save them.¡± She kept up her glare for a few moments before sighing and crossing her arms. ¡°Hope you know what you¡¯re doing. I may not be Iree¡¯s pet anymore, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m your ally either.¡± Cerid offered a small smile. ¡°You seem to be doing well, at least. That is good. However, I believe I may need your help going forward if you are willing to give it.¡± Her brows furrowed in suspicion. ¡°What are you getting at?¡± ¡°I am finally beginning to suspect that the world might not be as clear as I had once thought. Far too late, I am afraid, and I do not know what finding the answers might mean.¡± He paused, searching her face. ¡°Would I be correct to guess that you know something I do not? And that Dorothea also knows that something, and this factored into her actions?¡± ¡°What makes you suspect that?¡± Ariana was watching him carefully. ¡°Anything less does not make sense. Why else would she do something so drastic, especially if it meant leaving Shark behind? It has to be something much bigger and much worse.¡± He tried to smile again but was so unsettled it came out as a grimace. ¡°So?¡± She glared at him for a few seconds before letting out a huff. ¡°Fine, whatever. I¡¯ll tell you. But answer one question first.¡± ¡°Very well.¡± He waited, heart pounding in anticipation. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°If you find out who the real enemy is, would you be willing to give up on your goals? Would you change everything to make it right?¡± It would mean changing the very reason for living that he had clung to for years when he had felt so alone. He might lose Shark, and he wasn¡¯t sure his spirit could handle that again. Still. The truth was the truth, even if right and wrong weren¡¯t so easily defined. ¡°I will do whatever it takes, Ariana.¡± There was a spark in Ariana¡¯s eyes that Cerid had never seen before. It was a bewitching light, filled with growing determination and something almost approaching hope. It suited her. ¡°Then come on. Let¡¯s find Shark. You both need to hear this.¡± * There were some deeds a heart couldn¡¯t turn back from. Ariana had thought those words to herself and now they hung over her, choking. She had made the wrong choice and was now alone with no friends or family, no comfort to turn to. She had come very close to giving in to her despair, but she had been pulled back and ordered to find a reason to live by Dorothea. Easier said than done. She¡¯d been treated like dirt, her hand stolen, her humanity mocked. Even if this was justified punishment on the part of the universe, the indignity of it all was crushing. She wanted Iree Nobelis and Cinder Creed to pay for what had been done to Ghuria, to her, to Pearlie, and to Dorothea too. A reason to live, huh? Maybe something like trying her best to bring the castle Iree and Cinder had built crashing down around them would be a start. Which brought her to Cerid. His goals and relationship defied every law a good Sacerian citizen was supposed to abide by. She could do worse to stir the pot than seeing how things went if he was given the full picture. But he and Shark were kind of a package deal, and what was Shark doing? Being a pain in the ass, as usual. Cerid was skittering after them through the maze of hallways on the first floor, Ariana strolling behind in half amusement and half impatient frustration. ¡°Shark,¡± Cerid whisper-yelled, ¡°please stop fleeing! It makes it very difficult to hold a conversation!¡± ¡°That¡¯s the point!¡± Shark snapped as they disappeared behind a corner. Okay, now it wasn¡¯t amusing at all and had crossed into just plain sad. Ariana slipped away from Cerid and waited behind the corner opposite the path Shark had gone down, anticipating their movements. When they started to rush past her, she stepped out and caught their throat in the crook of her arm, throwing them to the ground with their own momentum. ¡°What the¡ª¡± they gasped, freezing as she put her foot on their chest. ¡°Stop throwing a temper tantrum. You¡¯re not a child,¡± she scolded in a flat voice. Their body went slack, face falling with grief and confusion. ¡°Don¡¯t think I don¡¯t know that¡­¡± Ariana sighed. Annoying as it was, being around people that wore their emotions so plainly was kind of nice. ¡°Come on.¡± She stepped back to haul them up. ¡°Talk it out so we can get down to business.¡± Cerid was hovering nearby, hesitant. ¡°Shark,¡± he began, ¡°I know a lot has happened and this is a silly question, but what is the matter?¡± Shark looked at their feet. ¡°Why would you ever, ever say all that stuff about Thea? About how she¡¯s going to die soon, how she¡¯s our enemy, and¡­¡± Cerid took a step closer, his voice gentle. ¡°You know that in these situations I have to make it out with my credibility and leadership status intact. I did not like saying it, but I had to.¡± ¡°I know, I know you¡¯ve had to play the game to get here, it¡¯s just¡­¡± Shark deflated under a deep sadness. ¡°I¡¯m scared of losing her. I¡¯m angry and hurt that she left me behind, and I don¡¯t understand why¡ª¡± Cerid surprised both Shark and Ariana with his interruption. ¡°You do understand why. I know you are smart enough to have realized it. So admit it to yourself,¡± he said, soft yet stern. Shark shook their head. ¡°I don¡¯t¡ª¡± ¡°We both knew. We saw how she reacted when we told her we intended to destroy Ghuria. But we simply chose to ignore it for our own sakes.¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t trust me because of that,¡± Shark admitted weakly. ¡°Before she left, she asked me to take care of you,¡± Cerid said. ¡°So I am trying right now to stop both of us from continuing down a path we would regret. In short, let me ask you this.¡± He took a deep breath and lifted Shark¡¯s chin to meet their eyes. ¡°Could you kill her?¡± ¡°No! What are you even¡ª¡± Shark tried to shake him off, but Cerid held fast, fingers digging into their cheeks. ¡°We never questioned ourselves because of how badly we wanted to shape the world in our vision. But now someone you love has joined that side. Going ahead as we are means taking her life. If you cannot accept that, turn back from your anger and think. What is the right thing to do? What do you want most, and what are the truly acceptable means to get there?¡± He dropped his hand. ¡°When I saw you starting to sink into your rage, I realized what Dorothea was trying to tell me. Too late, and I am ashamed, but I see it now.¡± ¡°But how am I supposed to just forgive everything the Ghurians have taken from us? What do you want from me right now, Cerid?¡± Ariana saw this as a good point to cut in. ¡°There¡¯s a lot more to why Dorothea left,¡± she said. Shark blinked as if just now remembering she was even there, then frowned. ¡°Okay? Even if that¡¯s true, isn¡¯t it a little late for revelations?¡± ¡°Decide for yourself. Your best friend decided it was worth acting on, after all. Worth it enough to ditch you without a word.¡± Ariana smiled as they flinched. ¡°I¡¯m not going coddle you. All three of us are trash in my eyes. So just listen.¡± She explained everything she knew: the epidemic had been orchestrated by Sharee Nobelis and Cerid¡¯s own father, and Iree knew this; Sharee had used her Datura Whispers magic to manipulate Gren Fall into unleashing the epidemic; Dorothea had left with the Fall boy for those reasons, the two of them now working for a truce; it was Iree and Ariana herself that had destroyed Sirpo to get Dorothea to join the Sacerian side. It took a long time for Cerid and Shark to work past being shocked speechless. And then Shark punched her in the face, sending her sprawling to the floor. ¡°Are you fucking kidding me?!¡± they yelled, struggling against Cerid as he pulled them back from going in for more. ¡°Do you even know how much has been done to Thea by now?! That¡¯s time she can¡¯t get back!¡± Ariana stood. ¡°For what it¡¯s worth¡­¡± She bowed in apology. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Dorothea showed me there¡¯s a better path, so I¡¯m trying. You two deserve the truth, and that¡¯s unfortunately how it is.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Cerid began in a small voice, ¡°that certainly¡­changes things.¡± He buried his face in his hands. ¡°My father¡­ He knew what would happen, and yet, to my siblings¡­ To my mother, to so many innocent people!¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter to me what you both do from here on out. But,¡± Ariana sighed, ¡°the least I could do is tell you what¡¯s actually going on. So¡­ Good luck with whatever you decide, I guess.¡± Cerid grabbed her wrist as she started to leave. ¡°Wait. Is that really enough for you?¡± She held up her other hand, well, stub. ¡°Nope. No thank you. I know what you¡¯re going to say, and I¡¯ve had quite enough inspiration lately. Nooot interested.¡± ¡°Please.¡± He released her, giving her the choice. ¡°Listen. I will not force you to do anything.¡± Damn these gentle people that kept swaying her. But that was better than being swayed by someone who had made such bright promises of a good future and still treated her like trash in the end. Maybe if Cerid, Shark and Dorothea could figure something out, and if she could dare to be a part of it¡­ Frowning, she motioned for him to go on. ¡°Before she left, Dorothea asked me what I would do if I was asked to make peace without bloodshed, and I did not have an answer. Well¡­ Do you think that we could find that answer between the three of us? Do you think we could find it in time to save Dorothea and¡­¡± He paused, grim. ¡°To stop the the war my father started from consuming Ghuria?¡± ¡°Sure,¡± Shark scoffed. ¡°It¡¯ll all work out, even with everything that¡¯s been done, if we just agree to try our best!¡± Not so long ago, Ariana would have had the same reaction. ¡°But Dorothea¡¯s out there right now, banking on that possibility,¡± she said quietly. ¡°With the will to give up her life for it.¡± Shark¡¯s eyes widened, and Cerid nodded. ¡°We must change the trajectory of history, not double down on it. I realize that now.¡± Shark narrowed their eyes in thought. ¡°There¡¯ll be fierce opposition to peace on both sides. No direction we turn doesn¡¯t have enemies. It¡¯s naive to think we won¡¯t have to kill, and Cerid, since it¡¯s your dad involved, I just¡­don¡¯t want you to overlook that. And I really hope Thea knows it too¡­¡± Cerid closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath before looking to Ariana, then back to Shark. ¡°Even so. I have decided what I must do.¡± The strength to aim for something better despite how sullied you already were was something Ariana didn¡¯t have. If she did, she¡¯d have turned back long ago. But it was right here in front of her. Maybe even she was worthy of changing? ¡°I¡¯m in,¡± she found herself saying. Her heart was racing. She was alive and here, and she had the power to change the direction of the life she¡¯d misused thus far. ¡°Let¡¯s see how this goes. Worst that happens is we all get killed in a slow and brutal manner.¡± Cerid smiled as if he¡¯d had complete faith in her from the start because of course he had. ¡°We,¡± he repeated. ¡°Ariana¡­¡± ¡°Stop. Sometimes I feel like you sappy types only listen to ten percent of what other people say because the unicorns are too busy farting out rainbows in your head for you to hear anything else.¡± She turned back to Shark, frowning. ¡°So what¡¯s it going to be?¡± They sighed and smiled a rueful smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Cerid. For running away and blaming you¡­ For a lot of things.¡± They relaxed as Cerid put his arms around them. ¡°I was wrong.¡± ¡°Our selfishness led us to think it was acceptable to destroy others in order to have a better chance at our own happiness. We cannot leave that as our legacy.¡± Shark nodded. ¡°This isn¡¯t going to be easy. We¡¯ll be lucky not to get killed.¡± Cerid smiled as he released Shark, albeit still holding them within an adoring gaze. ¡°But we are still here, together. We have already suffered much and come through stronger on the other side. We can do it again, and do it better.¡± ¡°All righty then¡­!¡± Shark proceeded to slap their own cheeks with such force that Ariana winced and Cerid jumped. ¡°I¡¯ll be strong for you again, starting now!¡± They smiled, sharp teeth glinting. ¡°I¡¯m back to full form, my love. No more mopey angry Shark!¡± Cerid chuckled. ¡°Do not worry. I feel that we have come to understand one another better as a result of this.¡± Ariana cut in before they could get mushier than that. ¡°Nice. Good for you two.¡± Shark glared at her. ¡°To be clear, I don¡¯t forgive you. Just because you told us the truth now doesn¡¯t make what you did to Sirpo and to Thea okay.¡± ¡°I know.¡± Cerid cut in. ¡°Redemption is something we all need now. And even more than that, we need a plan.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Shark smiled, eyes going blank. ¡°I¡¯ve got nothin¡¯.¡± Ariana sighed. ¡°We¡¯re doomed.¡± 36. Rosemarys Forgiveness Ghuria¡¯s wastelands felt oddly familiar to Dorothea. Not long ago, this same scenery had filled her with fear. Just like when she had first gone to Sacer, it was shocking how easily and relentlessly things could change. The first order of business was to revive Pearlie and Johanna. Once that was done and they got caught up, they all approached the settlement the four Ghurians shared. Wesley explained that it had been the army¡¯s base but had been abandoned a year after the epidemic as operations had moved deeper into the territory. Gren¡¯s squad was based there hiding in plain sight at a site the Sacerians had long assumed was abandoned. A stone fence about twice Dorothea¡¯s height had many crumbling areas, one of which the Ghurians used casually to slip into a dusty courtyard. The building was long, with three branches framing the back and sides of the fence. The middle and right side had many doors while the left had few. The building itself was also dappled, the places where repairs had been added quite evident. The ragtag procession sat on the steps and expansive porch, Gren naturally taking the lead. ¡°This is what we learned¡­¡± He summarized evenrything he and Dorothea had learned as well as what they intended to try with her magic now. ¡°I understand it¡¯s hard to accept, but our best plan of action is to pacify Sacer and let Dorothea do her work. We¡¯re not exactly in a position to refuse, but you should all have your say. Thoughts?¡± Pearlie spoke up. ¡°You said it was my sister who let you both go?¡± When Gren nodded, she let out a scornful laugh. ¡°Feeling sorry, is she? That¡¯s rich.¡± ¡°Um¡­¡± Dorothea didn¡¯t know if this would be helpful or make things worse. ¡°When she freed us, Ariana asked us to protect you. She doesn¡¯t think she has a right to come home, and I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t convince her, but¡ª¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t! I don¡¯t want her back here!¡± Pearlie snapped, leaping to her feet and storming away towards a door in the right branch. ¡°Oh¡­¡± Dorothea, finding everyone else¡¯s eyes on her, hung her head. ¡°Sorry.¡± ¡°Johanna, stay put,¡± Gren ordered as she jumped up to chase Pearlie. ¡°Catch her up later.¡± ¡°Fine¡­¡± She still tapped her feet impatiently. ¡°The message we sent declaring a ceasefire has held off the Sacerians long enough for Dorothea to recover,¡± Gren continued, ¡°but we can expect an attack sooner or later. They¡¯re not going to stop trying to kill us off just like that.¡± ¡°So what now?¡± Johanna asked. ¡°Dorothea heals our land. We take care of our people,¡± Gren stated. ¡°And we convince Sacer to end this once we show them there¡¯s no need for us to attack them ever again. We hold out until then.¡± ¡°And if they still don¡¯t stop?¡± Wesley asked with a smirk. Gren glanced at Dorothea, and she nodded. Neither of them were stupid enough to bank everything on Sacer being willing to play nice. She wanted it to be possible for both sides to reconcile, but to risk the fate of all of Ghuria in the process just couldn¡¯t be done. ¡°Then we fight back with all we¡¯ve got until they stop.¡± He looked down at his own hands. ¡°And I mean that.¡± Dorothea swallowed past a lump in her throat. Knowing he didn¡¯t want to, she in turn didn¡¯t want him to have to make use of that magic. She glanced at Rhys and found him looking at Gren with a quiet, pained empathy. Wesley grinned. ¡°Looking forward to it.¡± He snickered and eyed Dorothea. ¡°So, who¡¯s she staying with? Not exactly an empty room waiting around. Most of its either wrecked or storage.¡± ¡°Not Pearlie and I. There¡¯s barely enough room for the two of us as is.¡± Johanna tossed hair from her face, and Dorothea glimpsed a scar beneath her bangs, a ragged, wide expanse running straight across her face, over her eyes and nose. This whole time, she hadn¡¯t been able to see. ¡°Is that all, Gren? ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ll let you all know once we¡¯ve charted our course.¡± Meaning what routes he and Dorothea would take and how long they¡¯d be to travel through all of Ghuria healing the land while giving aid to all small settlements. ¡°Cool. Bye.¡± She sprinted to where Pearlie had gone. ¡°Excuse me,¡± Dorothea piped up, ¡°but does Ghuria have a council?¡± ¡°No. We can make these decisions and act on them as we please,¡± Gren explained. ¡°Since the four of us are all that remains of the army.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Her dumb shock quickly turned into horror. ¡°What?! But what about all those people at Izozkia, from before?¡± ¡°Those were raiders, not soldiers. Those are different things here.¡± ¡°Regardless, I¡¯m sorry,¡± Rhys said quietly. ¡°For what I did that day.¡± ¡°Too late for apologies now, pig,¡± Wesley said with a predatory grin. ¡°They¡¯ve long since rotted thanks to you.¡± Rhys flinched. ¡°Yes. That¡¯s true.¡± Wesley turned his leer back on Dorothea. ¡°Since you¡¯re curious, most of our ranks either got killed off or quit by now. Grenny here came out of hiding, hung around for a bit then stepped up as our new commander a few months ago. It was just us three idiots who stuck with him,¡± he laughed. Came out of hiding? There was so much she didn¡¯t know about Gren. ¡°Okay. Sorry for the confusion.¡± Gren shook his head. ¡°You¡¯re fine. Where would you like to stay? One of you with me and the other with Wes.¡± ¡°I promise to be most hospitable,¡± Wesley purred. Dorothea barely suppressed a shiver. Something about him¡­ It wasn¡¯t like Iree, but he was frightening. He wanted violence. Craved it. Rhys cut in. ¡°I¡¯d like to stay with you, then.¡± He offered Wesley a pleasant smile. ¡°I promise to be a good guest in turn.¡± ¡°Sure, whatever.¡± Wesley hopped up, smirking. ¡°Try not to look too relieved, sweetheart.¡± Dorothea looked down in shame. She hated to do that to Rhys, but she was too scared of Wesley to try to change places. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know I have no right to barge in like this, especially after so much damage has already been done.¡± It was Ariana who Wesley reminded her more of, but there was so much threat behind his words and manner. ¡°Wes.¡± Gren stood and addressed him seriously. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. But this is for the best.¡± Wesley¡¯s smile dropped, and he regarded Gren with the same gravity. ¡°I¡¯ve been ready this entire time to give back what was dealt to me and then some. But you came here and I went along with what you said because you¡¯re the one who saved my life that day. Gren¡­ Way I see it, Ghuria gets a better future no matter which way this goes. But we can¡¯t afford to waste time hoping for a miracle.¡± Gren nodded, squeezing his shoulder. ¡°I understand. Either way, this is where it ends. I promise you.¡± ¡°Yeah, I got it.¡± Wesley glanced at Dorothea. ¡°You¡¯re gonna help some people who really need it. But don¡¯t you dare forget how many have fallen while you did nothing.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t.¡± Dorothea watched as he turned his back and jogged away from them, Rhys dipping his head before he followed. ¡°Are you okay?¡± she asked Gren. ¡°Is he? Uh, are any of them really okay with all this, or in general?¡± ¡°As okay as we can be, I suppose.¡± He gestured for her to follow him to his room. She noticed initials or phrases carved into some of the doors. Pearlie and Johanna¡¯s names were surrounded by a heart on one door, and she couldn¡¯t help but laugh. Gren looked at her in question. ¡°There was this huge pine tree on the outskirts of Iluna¡­ People would carve their initials into it all the time, just like that. Even Sharkie and I¡­¡± Her heart threatened to freeze and shatter at the mere reminder of what she had left behind and all she had left to face. ¡°Never mind. Like it matters.¡± Gren studied her for a few lengthy heartbeats, but he turned without saying anything. Wesley¡¯s door read ¡°Roast the Pigs!!!¡± in jagged script. Gren¡¯s had a small carving of a bird. Inside was a minimalist space. There was a large, thin mattress on the floor and a table with a map spread out on it. Peering at it, Dorothea found the note covered in small wooden figurines and slanted writing. Several notebooks were open around the table, each page covered from top corner to bottom corner in that messy yet lovely handwriting. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°We don¡¯t have any extra mattresses or blankets. I¡¯ll sleep in the corner.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯ll take it, I¡¯m the one intruding. Or we can share the bed. Honestly I¡¯m behind the point of caring,¡± Dorothea laughed. ¡°Hm.¡± He kept looking at her as if there was something he was seeing through within her that she wasn¡¯t even aware of. It make her feel choked up, somehow. She cleared her throat. ¡°Gren, there¡¯s something else I want to ask you.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°You¡¯re the one in charge here, so why was Sirpo attacked in the first place? The only reason I went to Sacer at all is because two Ghurian soldiers came to Iluna.¡± He was nodding. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that happened. Well¡­ It¡¯s like this. A year ago, I came out of hiding, like Wes said.¡± ¡°Where were you all that time?¡± After losing his family and killing so many people with no idea why any of it had happened, how had he even been able to take a step forward? ¡°I had to learn to survive on my own. Kind of learned to keep to myself.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t imagine struggling like that, but she didn¡¯t want to just throw unhelpful pity at him. ¡°So why come to the army?¡± ¡°Word was that we would surrender to Sacer.¡± ¡°Seriously?¡± It was one shock after another. ¡°Yeah. Can you imagine what would have happened? If we weren¡¯t all killed, what, we¡¯d be inducted into Sacer as second-class citizens?¡± Dorothea thought of Ariana. ¡°So you came here to keep the fight going?¡± ¡°Yeah. I entered the army first¡­ They were desperate enough to take me by that time. Then kind of inserted myself as the new leader a few months ago when the surrender was fully decided. Promised my strength to anyone who would come with me. Of course, I also said I wanted to take as few lives as possible, so you can imagine how well that went over. Pearlie stayed because she figured she¡¯d meet her sister again if she kept fighting. Johanna stayed because Pearlie did, and Wes¡­ Well, he¡¯d take any chance to kill a Sacerian.¡± That was certainly concerning. ¡°Gren, do you think he¡¯d¡­?¡± ¡°He¡¯s not stupid. He won¡¯t do anything that would get in the way of a permanent truce. A lot of people in Ghuria still want revenge on Sacer, and on¡­¡± He shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s to be expected.¡± ¡°Gren, it wasn¡¯t your fault.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t take away their pain.¡± He shook his head as if to dismiss the issue. ¡°That¡¯s why Iluna was attacked. Remnants of the old army who weren¡¯t okay with surrender but didn¡¯t want to join me either. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± She paused. ¡°But the attackers were killed. Should I¡­bring them back?¡± ¡°No. And don¡¯t worry about the raiders from that Sacerian fort either.¡± His lack of hesitation surprised her. ¡°But¡­ But why?¡± He fixed her with a frown. ¡°Why are offering that despite what your magic does to you?¡± ¡°That, well¡­¡± They hadn¡¯t discussed this specifically, more going by a silent understanding until now. ¡°I want to save everyone I can.¡± ¡°Meaning it¡¯s not possible to save everyone. Some people make their bed and have to lie in it.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right, I just¡­¡± She sighed helplessly. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Speaking of,¡± he said carefully, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t realize your magic affected you like that until the second time we met at the fort city.¡± She smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°Are you?¡± ¡°Of course!¡± ¡°You know¡­¡± He trailed off with a frown. ¡°No, I¡¯ll say it this time. You¡¯ve been off since before that council meeting.¡± ¡°Well, a lot¡¯s happened,¡± she laughed. ¡°Seriously, I¡¯m fine.¡± He thought out his response for a bit. ¡°I¡¯d appreciate if you¡¯d talk to me. We¡¯re¡­partners in all this. Your well-being is vital. Physical and mental.¡± She shook her head. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± There was a thread in her about to break. If he pushed any more, she wouldn¡¯t be able to hold back. His gaze was steady, lulling her into security. ¡°We can take care of each other. It¡¯s okay.¡± For a few beats she couldn¡¯t spit out the words, but then she whispered, ¡°I¡¯m scared.¡± Gren nodded. ¡°I am too.¡± ¡°Because everyone¡¯s scared, I want to be strong and not pity myself. I don¡¯t want to get in the way or hurt anyone, but when I think about what almost happened, what Iree was going to do to me and what she did to you and to Rhys, I don¡¯t know what to do!¡± She covered her face with her hands and voiced her shame. ¡°I want her dead for what she¡¯s done to him.¡± How could she claim to want peace when the truth was that she hated Iree Nobelis from the bottom of her heart? This feeling was eating her alive. Gren tentatively touched her back, then her arm. She turned towards him when he tugged her sleeve. He¡¯d pulled his own sleeve over his hand. ¡°Is this okay?¡± The fabric brushed her cheek, blotting her tears. ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m sorry,¡± she hiccuped. ¡°Geez, I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m a crybaby!¡± She laughed, a small, pathetic noise. ¡°And already a horrible tenant.¡± Gren¡¯s gaze was soft. ¡°You don¡¯t have to forgive everyone who hurts you in the name of peace. But back there¡­ When I was in that house. You told me I had to choose a different road to preserve peace. You¡¯re making that same choice now. And I¡¯ll support you.¡± He paused. ¡°It was a determination to put goodness into the world that brought us together. Don¡¯t let this crush you.¡± ¡°Ugh¡­¡± Dorothea gulped in a breath. He was right. Just like he¡¯d never forgive the people who had killed his family and turned him into a murderer, she had the right to not forgive Iree while still trying to make peace in the world. These contradictions were inevitable in life. ¡°You know,¡± she sniffled, ¡°you¡¯ve got a real way with words!¡± He let out a laugh that sounded like it surprised him. ¡°First time for everything, I suppose.¡± ¡°Okay. I¡¯m actually, really fine now, promise.¡± His smile made her feel warm. ¡°Good.¡± Normally she¡¯d be sharing concerns like this with Shark. ¡°My friends over in Sacer. I¡¯m really worried that¡­ I don¡¯t want to hurt them or watch them be hurt. But I won¡¯t let that get in the way, promise. I know there¡¯s a limit to how tolerant you can be of me and my bleeding heart.¡± He chuckled. ¡°You make a lot of promises.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll do everything I can to keep them all.¡± ¡°I know.¡± He paused, thinking. ¡°I¡¯ll do what I can to keep them safe for you.¡± But that would put such a burden on all of them. ¡°Why would you say that so readily, knowing how hard it will be?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want a world where we kill each other thoughtlessly anymore.¡± He was so strong-willed that it took her breath away. She also needed to be stronger for them, all of them. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but will you help me with one other thing?¡± ¡°If you stop apologizing, yes.¡± He smiled when she let out a surprised laugh. ¡°What is it?¡± If she couldn¡¯t commit to killing, she could at least learn to help them fight. ¡°I have an idea for how my magic could be more useful on the battlefield, and I¡¯d like to practice it with you all.¡± He frowned. ¡°How will that impact your health?¡± ¡°A negligible amount.¡± ¡°Okay. But please tell me if you¡¯re reaching your limit. We have to be careful.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± She paused. ¡°You¡¯re really fine with me staying here?¡± ¡°Did you want to sleep outside?¡± ¡°No, I just don¡¯t want to be a bother¡­¡± He laughed his short breath of a laugh. ¡°Wake me up every morning. That can be your form of rent, if it makes you more comfortable.¡± ¡°So you¡¯re always that, uh¡­uncooperative?¡± He pursed his lips and rubbed at his cheek. ¡°Unfortunately. Immature, I know. I just can¡¯t always¡­ Er, never mind.¡± Cute. He was just so¡­cute. ¡°Okay. Every morning, I¡¯ll give you a shove.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± He¡¯d really done a lot for her. From the moment they¡¯d met, he¡¯d inspired her to push beyond what she thought possible. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said softly. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°I mean it. Thank you, Gren. You¡¯ve done a lot for me. Now, and...before.¡± This was the first time either of them had acknowledged out loud what had transpired in the Catacombs. Dorothea, now that she had brought it up, realized that she didn¡¯t have the words to properly describe what she felt tied them together. ¡°Well,¡± she began, tugging on her hair, ¡°if I¡¯m remiss in feeling close to you and end up overstepping, please let me know. In my mind we¡¯re already friends, so if that¡¯s overly familiar¡­¡± Gren seemed awkward now too, looking down at his hands. ¡°No problem.¡± Dorothea had a newfound sense that there was no point in wasting time. If she had something to convey, she needed to do it, and she had the right to. So she said, ¡°You¡¯re precious to me.¡± He was the person who had pulled her from the dark and stopped her from giving up. ¡°Mm.¡± He just nodded in response to her heartfelt words. ¡°Geez!¡± she laughed. ¡°Really, tell me if I¡¯m making you uncomfortable.¡± ¡°No.¡± His mouth twitched in a brief smile. ¡°I¡¯m just not used to this is all.¡± He paused for a few seconds. ¡°Sharing the bed. I know you didn¡¯t mean that.¡± ¡°I, uh¡­ No.¡± Pearlie and Johanna would share a bed because they were a couple. Wesley and Rhys would share one for convenience and because closeness meant nothing to them. Dorothea simply couldn¡¯t do the same with Gren. His closeness would be too much. Still, that night, as he curled himself into the corner of the room and wrapped his arms around himself, it took her less than ten minutes to wave him over. ¡°It¡¯s cold,¡± she whispered. ¡°I¡¯m not used to the cold anymore. I-Isn¡¯t it cold? Don¡¯t you think so¡­?¡± Never mind the fact that she¡¯d lived in the coldest part of the country her entire life. Never mind that she was perfectly comfortable. But he was shivering. He hid it well, but it was there in the slight, intermittent changes to his breathing. The nights were cold here. And he was so thin, and¡­ She could barely make out his shape in the dark, but she could feel his gaze. Then his footsteps, so quiet, and his calm presence joining her space. Dorothea threw the blankets over him since she was already in sweatpants and a fluffy shirt and socks. He cuddled against the wall the bed was pushed against while she hovered near the opposite edge of the mattress. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said softly. She hugged herself tightly, painfully, so she wouldn¡¯t reach out. 37. Marigolds Scheme ¡°Grandfather.¡± Cadby Creed had known this moment would come. Cerid stood at the edge of the stacks, arms folded behind his back and face partially obscured in shadow. ¡°Uncle Cerid!¡± Calla bounced up to him and hugged his legs. ¡°Come read with us?¡± ¡°I am afraid not.¡± Usually, Cerid would cajole her somehow. He¡¯d offer to play another time, say something sweet to spoil her. But not today. ¡°Run along, Calla. Your uncle needs a moment alone with your grandfather.¡± She looked uncertain, the tenseness of the situation not escaping her. ¡°Uncle¡­?¡± ¡°Now.¡± Cerid¡¯s voice was harsh. Calla flinched, grabbing onto her skirts and fleeing the room. ¡°That¡¯s not like you, Cerid,¡± Cadby commented with a frown. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°You are going to tell me what you know,¡± Cerid hissed. ¡°You are going to tell me how long you have known it and why in the name of the Gods you did not tell me or anyone else!¡± Cadby could tell it was taking everything in Cerid not to scream at the top of his lungs. His hands were clenched into fists; all his being radiated seething anger. ¡°Dorothea would not have risked coming back to Sacer unless she was searching for specific proof of what I now know. What you said in the library that day¡­ You knew all along, didn¡¯t you? You were simply too much of a coaward to tell the truth when you had the opportunity!¡± ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll tell you. I¡¯ll tell you why.¡± Six years ago, Sharee Nobelis had approached Cinder Creed with a certain plan. What possessed that woman to make the suggestion in the first place was what Cadby had never been able to get out of his head. He¡¯d overheard them that day, having been on his way to the library. It was a completely conincidental disruption in his usual schedule at a strange time of night where Cinder would have normally been correct to assume no one would be around. ¡°My son,¡± Sharee had gasped, ¡°just killed a baby out there. My sweet Rhys looked at me with these empty, confused eyes, Cinder, and the way I looked at him isn¡¯t something he¡¯s ever going to forget! Do you understand?!¡± ¡°He¡¯s one of the best and brightest soldiers in this nation, Sharee. What would you have me do?¡± Cinder asked calmly. He almost sounded bored, but Cadby only picked up on that because he knew his son so well. Or he thought he did, until this moment. ¡°End this! End this struggle between Sacer and Ghuria, and listen to me when I tell you exactly how we¡¯re going to accomplish it.¡± She said it so fiercely that Cadby took a step back in the hall. So she described her idea, and that was what they did. ¡°My children will never have to kill again,¡± Sharee had concluded that day. ¡°None of our children will ever take life on the battlefield again, nor will they risk themselves. We can spare their humanity. Give me leave to do this.¡± But here they still were. Ghuria had not fallen. Its people had struggled this long, and now they were defying Sacer with the chance to win thanks in part to Dorothea Atlin¡¯s help. Had Cinder ever told Iree Nobelis the exact reason why her mother had sacrificed herself? Sharee¡¯s daughter had been on the warpath ever since, going directly against what she¡¯d died for. ¡°You have to understand, Cerid. If I revealed the truth¡­ What would happen to me. And revealing my son¡¯s actions, what may have happened to him¡­ We¡¯ve lost so much of this family already.¡± Cadby gazed at his grandson with helpless misery. ¡°What would you have me do?¡± ¡°You¡ªyou spineless¡­!¡± Cerid seethed, stopping himself and putting a hand over his face. ¡°But I am no different from my father, and just as self-serving as Sharee and Iree Nobelis¡­¡± He dropped his hand and put it on his hip. ¡°I will be ending this, Grandfather, no matter what it takes. Will you be there for me if I have need of you, or do you intend to reveal me to my father?¡± Cadby smiled. It was lucky his grandson hadn¡¯t taken after him. ¡°What can I do for you?¡± ¡°Listen well¡­¡± * The cards were stacked against Iree, but that only meant it was time to rise to the occasion, not cower. As always, she¡¯d turn her circumstances into opportunity. ¡°There¡¯s very little I can do to help you this time,¡± Cinder told her. ¡°The rest of the council is unanimously in favor of your dismissal.¡± ¡°That means Cerid¡¯s promotion.¡± She put both hands flat against his desk and leaned over it to capture his attention and make her point. ¡°And that would be a complete disaster.¡± He arched a brow. ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°He¡¯s plotting to help make the truce happen, mark my words.¡± ¡°Cerid knows his goal can¡¯t be accomplished if he doesn¡¯t end Ghuria first. He would never abandon the war effort.¡± ¡°Oh, please. Atlin¡¯s best friend is dating your son. You know, the same Atlin that manipulated Rhys over to her side and got the Bittersweet Nightshade-user to listen to her too? You really think she couldn¡¯t turn someone as simple-minded as Cerid? You¡¯ve been getting him to do exactly what you want for years and he hasn¡¯t noticed or even questioned anything. Shit, you even hand picked him as the last surviving child for this purpose and it hasn¡¯t clicked for him yet that it wasn¡¯t a coincidence he was the only kid away on a sweet little day trip during the epidemic!¡± Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. Cinder watched her with the same even gaze as always, but anger simmered beneath his words. ¡°Cerid has done nothing to warrant this suspicion.¡± Iree rolled her eyes. ¡°You know I¡¯m right.¡± Cinder was blinded by love. Cerid was the last one left, so daddy dearest wanted things to work out. ¡°I don¡¯t expect you to take my word for it. Just give him a little test.¡± ¡°And if he fails?¡± ¡°Up to you. He¡¯s your son, I¡¯m not gonna do anything to him. No worries.¡± She smiled, sensing him relax. Any decision Cinder made wouldn¡¯t be her fault. She was just encouraging him to do what was needed and ask questions about Cerid¡¯s loyalties before he could start making trouble. ¡°Very well. What would you have me do?¡± ¡°There are two things to watch out for.¡± She went on to explain them. ¡°Very well, Miss Nobelis.¡± Cinder sighed. ¡°I can tell you want something else from me. Name it so I can be left in peace.¡± ¡°One last attack. Just give me that. If I fail, then do with me what you will, no protests.¡± She was willing to stake it all just to get the chance to take her greatest enemy down. Dorothea Atlin. Iree would make the rest of her dwindling days as painful as possible. * It was all utterly ridiculous. That¡¯s what Pearlie Kingfisher thought. Her sister who had left her behind, ignored her pleas and killed her, that same sister had sent Dorothea Atlin to Pearlie as some kind of protector? Laughable. Ridiculous, awful, and she had to find it funny or else she¡¯d just cry. ¡°Honey? Honey.¡± Johanna caught her attention and her hands, stopping Pearlie in her furious work of ripping weeds up. ¡°You¡¯re pulling new growth right now. We can¡¯t afford that.¡± They had all cultivated a small garden in the corner of the barracks, and today was their turn to manage it. ¡°Whatever!¡± Pearlie seethed. ¡°Gren and that girl are out there right now healing the surrounding area, so what¡¯s it matter what I¡¯m doing right now?¡± Only the day after she¡¯d arrived and Pearlie found her presence grating enough to want to scream. ¡°Whatever,¡± Johanna echoed. ¡°You sound just like Ariana used to.¡± She smiled when Pearlie turned a glare on her. ¡°Come on. It¡¯s not like you to be this angry. Let¡¯s talk about it.¡± Her hands squeezed Pearlie¡¯s gently, and she felt her negative emotions trailing away like wispy smoke. ¡°Ariana, she¡­ I looked her in the eyes as she¡­¡± Pearlie had been murdered by her own big sister, the person who was supposed to stand by her her no matter what. The instant of sheer terror and horror she had felt as the slice sunk into her neck was nothing compared to the betrayal. Johanna nodded in sympathy but remained silent, knowing Pearlie wasn¡¯t done talking. ¡°And then all of a sudden she starts caring?! What is that? Sending someone else to protect me in her place, what in the world is she thinking?!¡± Pearlie nearly screamed. In a fury she seized her spade, turned and blindly threw it as hard as she could. ¡°Oof!¡± The tool was unfortunately intercepted. Pearlie¡¯s heart dropped. ¡°Oh. Oh no. Oh no!¡± she cried, scrambling towards her unintended victim. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, are you okay?!¡± Dorothea clutched her stomach, smiling weakly as she made a slow descent to the ground. ¡°Yup. Totally fine.¡± Her pale face had taken on a strange tinge of green. ¡°Oh Gods I¡¯m lucky I already threw up and also that it didn¡¯t hit a little higher or lower, so in that sense we¡¯re actually both doing okay right?¡± she wheezed, holding her thumbs up before flopping onto her back. ¡°Ugh¡­¡± She already threw up? Even through her shame and panic, that stuck out to Pearlie. And was that blood beneath her nose in a faint smear that hadn¡¯t been fully wiped away? ¡°Are you really okay?¡± Dorothea smiled, smudging her nose with her knuckles once she noticed where Pearlie was looking. ¡°I¡¯m fine. I was on my way to see you and Johanna, if you don¡¯t mind sparing me a moment. Um, to report how this morning went. Gren, Rhys and Wesley are still out delivering care packages.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± And Pearlie had just been complaining about those efforts. ¡°Okay¡­¡± She let Dorothea into the garden surrounding her and Johanna¡¯s home, and Johanna met them in the middle. ¡°You good?¡± she asked Dorothea. ¡°Peachy, even!¡± she held up her thumbs again, which made Pearlie believe the opposite. ¡°But anyways, I won¡¯t take up too much of your time.¡± She folded her hands. ¡°We completed one-hundred miles today. All of that land is sprouting new growth. If you need me I¡¯ll be in our¡­¡± Her cheeks flushed. ¡°In Gren¡¯s room, resting.Feel free to wake me up for any reason.¡± ¡°Hold on!¡± Pearlie skittered after her as she started scuttling away. ¡°Um¡­ About Ariana.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Did she ever say anything about me?¡± Pearlie felt like a child, trying desperately to earn approval like this. That was all she¡¯d wanted this entire time: to find the right words, the right self that would bring Ariana back to her side. ¡°I can tell you this for certain.¡± She squeezed Pearlie¡¯s arms, looking steadily into her eyes. ¡°Ariana wants to come home. She¡¯s sorry but doesn¡¯t think that¡¯s enough, and she¡¯s convinced she has nowhere to go.¡± She withdrew her hands with a nervous smile. ¡°I won¡¯t tell you to forgive her, because some things can¡¯t be forgiven, and you¡¯re not obligated to grant anything you don¡¯t want to. Um, I was taught that recently.¡± She looked peaceful as she said that, and it calmed Pearlie¡¯s heart as well. ¡°But?¡± ¡°But it all comes down to you. If you want your sister back, then say the word to her. I¡¯ll show her there¡¯s a world for her to live in. If you want to tell her there¡¯s a place to come back to in that world, then go for it. But in the meantime¡­¡± She took a breath and looked at Pearlie with a tired but strong determination. ¡°Ariana asked me to protect you, so no matter what happens between the two of you or what you decide, that¡¯s what I¡¯ll do. Gren and I owe her our lives, and she¡¯s my friend.¡± Tears flooded Pearlie¡¯s eyes, and she covered her mouth with her hands. ¡°Oh, Ana¡­¡± All this time she had never wanted to understand how her sister felt, what fear and desperation had driven her to leave. Thinking about it only forced her to confront how she hadn¡¯t been strong enough, worth enough, just enough at all to change her mind. ¡°You were enough,¡± Dorothea suddenly insisted, and Pearlie jumped. What, she could turn back time and read minds now? ¡°Sorry if I¡¯m only projecting here, but¡­ There¡¯s nothing you could have done. You were enough, and you have been all this time. Ariana left because of things that were totally out of your control. There are things we just can¡¯t help when it comes to the people we love most. So¡­¡± She backed away, ducking her head. ¡°That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°Will you really help me?¡± Pearlie blurted. ¡°I want to bring my big sister home. And if everyone she cares about tells her it¡¯s okay, maybe she¡¯ll realize I¡¯ve been here the entire time, waiting.¡± Dorothea smiled, rubbing at her eyes. ¡°Of course. We¡¯ll make it happen.¡± She dipped her head one last time. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I think I need to sit down for a while. Thanks for talking with me. Pearlie, Johanna, have a good one.¡± Johanna laughed once Dorothea was out of sight. ¡°She¡¯s a total weirdo.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Pearlie sniffled. ¡°Jojo?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Sorry for being a big jerk.¡± ¡°It¡¯s all good. Maybe apologize again later for spiking a shovel at her though.¡± ¡°I-I will.¡± ¡°I promise you.¡± She bent to kiss Pearlie¡¯s forehead. ¡°We¡¯re gonna bring her home.¡± Johanna had said those same words to her all those years ago when Ariana had first left. For the first time, Pearlie believed them. 38. Rosemarys First Love Dorothea had it all mapped out. She and Gren had done so together, actually. The second night she¡¯d been in Ghuria, three days ago now, they had burned the midnight oil to crunch the numbers. There were about 1,500 miles of land to heal. After the initial hundred-mile test they had conducted, Dorothea had a full grasp of her limits in this scenario. It took 40 seconds of her life to heal one foot of desiccated land, accounting for the depth of damage and the necessity of bringing new growth to provide enough food for Ghuria¡¯s struggling population. Calculating the feet per mile and the number of feet to heal and then incorporating how many seconds were in a year¡­ To complete the task, she¡¯d lose ten years of her life. Assuming things went off without a hitch. It took them a while to figure out, as neither of them were very good at math. Gren admitted somewhat shyly to her that his education had stopped at age thirteen. Still, they successfully charted the routes they would take through Ghuria to accomplish this behemoth of a task. Today also marked the third morning of her training with Gren in the courtyard of the barracks. Her idea for battlefield application was going well enough, but today he seemed to have other plans. A different but not unwelcome face awaited them at their grounds. ¡°Hey,¡± Johanna greeted after giving a wide yawn. ¡°It is I, your guest instructor for the day.¡± Gren nodded when Dorothea looked at him questioningly. ¡°She volunteered.¡± ¡°Consider this my thanks.¡± She withdrew a vial of pale liquid from her dress pocket and dropped it into Dorothea¡¯s hand. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve seen Pearlie smile like this.¡± Dorothea blushed, pleased to have been helpful. ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything¡­¡± ¡°If you¡¯re going this far, there¡¯s no need to be modest. I certainly wouldn¡¯t be.¡± ¡°But I¡­¡± Dorothea shook her head and smiled. ¡°Thank you.¡± Rather than apologizing for her past failures, she needed to appreciate that Johanna was accepting her. Johanna smiled back. ¡°Now. The odds of you being useful in a standard fight are very, very, very, veeery low. That said, we want to give you the capability to defend yourself and escape in a dire situation, should the need arise.¡± She tapped the vial. ¡°That¡¯s where this comes in.¡± ¡°Great!¡± Dorothea paused. ¡°What is it?¡± Johanna opened her mouth wide and pointed to the roof of it, where a small white berry hung from a fleshy stem. It was small and shrivelled, as if struggling to grow. ¡°My magic is called True Mistletoe. It¡¯s only active from October to January, but I save a lot of the juice from the berries that grow here. That¡¯s what nullifies enemy magic. Something like that can turn the tides, no doubt.¡± Dorothea nodded. Johanna¡¯s needles had often been the quiet key to Ghurian victory if she recounted all the times she¡¯d had to reverse the events at Izozkia the first time the two forces had clashed there. ¡°So in that case I¡¯d only have to manage a small scrape.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Gren stepped in here to hand her a slender blade identical to the ones he carried, complete with a leather sheath and strap. ¡°We want to give you whatever tools we can. This is a way you might be able to defend yourself without using your magic. We don¡¯t expect it to come to that, but we want you to be safe.¡± They were so considerate her heart swelled. ¡°Thank you. So what do I do?¡± ¡°Coat the knife in that juice, but be careful and remember that the effects only last for half a minute,¡± Johanna explained. ¡°If you can manage to catch someone off guard, it¡¯ll serve you well. Our goal here is for the enemy not to know you have it at all. Use it only if there¡¯s no one else to defend you. If they enemy expects it, there¡¯s no chance you¡¯ll be able to pull anything off.¡± Dorothea clutched the blade tightly, accepting its weight. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡± Johanna smiled and started stretching. ¡°Welp, nothing like practical experience. Gren and I will demonstrate some of the moves, and then it¡¯ll be you fending me off, Dorothea. Pay close attention, ¡®cause I¡¯d hate to have gotten up this early only to see no improvements.¡± Johanna had been on night watch, so she really was going out of her way. ¡°Y-Yes ma¡¯am!¡± She chuckled. ¡°I can see why you¡¯re sweet on her, Grenny.¡± He glanced quickly at Dorothea, who was trying very hard to force her blush back down, before letting out a huff and drawing a knife. Six slender black blades designed for throwing were cloaked in a holster on his right leg. ¡°Focus, will you?¡± ¡°See, Dorothea, he can¡¯t even deny it.¡± She smoothly sidestepped as Gren came at her, then toppled to the ground as he crouched low and swept her legs by kicking out. ¡°I let you do that.¡± ¡°Sure.¡± He helped her to her feet. ¡°Take your stance.¡± ¡°Looking lively, aren¡¯t you?¡± By the end of several hours of practice, they¡¯d judged her just barely competent enough to get the job done, with luck on her side. The problem was keeping her wits about her. If she didn¡¯t know how to react with allies against her, then hesitation against an enemy would get her killed. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Johanna concluded her instruction with another big yawn. ¡°Well, see you guys later. Good luck today.¡± She gave Dorothea one last smile, patting the top of her head in farewell. ¡°Take care out there!¡± she called over her shoulder. ¡°I will¡­¡± Dorothea pushed her hands to the spot she¡¯d been touched. ¡°She¡¯s really nice.¡± ¡°She is,¡± Gren agreed. He looked her over. ¡°Did we go too hard on you?¡± She would be covered in bruises later and her wounded arm was screaming, but progress was progress. ¡°I¡¯m fine. But if we could take a break before we go back out there, I¡¯d like that.¡± As he nodded, they turned back towards his room. Their efforts in healing the land over the past few days were going well, but it had Wesley and Gren witnessing her limitations firsthand; Rhys was the only one who hadn¡¯t been shocked. The nosebleeds, the vomiting, the fainting¡­ Dorothea knew she should have warned them better, but she hadn¡¯t wanted to complain. Besides, it didn¡¯t change what they needed to do. ¡°Hey.¡± Gren had stopped walking in the hallway and was looking at her doubtfully. ¡°You told me before in the planning stage that you had a sense of how much time you have left.¡± ¡°Right¡­¡± She crossed her arms, afraid of where this was going. ¡°But you conveniently didn¡¯t mention, and avoided the question of, how much time you¡¯ll have by the end.¡± He looked at her expectantly. Well, passing out had been an awfully convenient way to dodge the question. ¡°Um. It¡¯s fine, really¡­¡± A stupid thing to say and she knew it, but she was at a loss for words. He sighed. ¡°You know, I hate feeling helpless.¡± ¡°Huh? I mean yes, I think everyone does.¡± ¡°It feels like¡­like there¡¯s a knife to my throat, and something unreachable right in front of my fingertips. Understand?¡± To respect what he was saying, she let that sink in. She imagined the physical sensation and fear that would come with it. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Gren¡­ Is that how I¡¯m making you feel? I mean, obviously it is, I just¡­ I never wanted to hurt anyone.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mind if you hurt me,¡± he said calmly, and her heart heated and somersaulted so painfully she had to stifle a gasp. Did he have any idea what words like that meant to her? They were so tender and beautiful. ¡°And I care about you a lot, more than I should. So whether it¡¯s selfish or not, please, I want to know.¡± ¡°Gren, I¡­¡± Gods, he wasn¡¯t just precious to her, she was a tiny bit in love. He¡¯d challenged her to be better beyond her wildest dreams for herself. In the Catacombs and even before then when he¡¯d called out her hatred and blindness, he¡¯d pulled her from a darkness she¡¯d thought inescapable, given her so many chances and agreed to stand by her side. His eyes were boring into hers. ¡°How much time will you have left after we¡¯re done?¡± She was still reeling from having her emotions click into place. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I just didn¡¯t want you to worry. Or maybe I figured there was no point, since it is what it is,¡± she explained sheepishly. ¡°Dorothea.¡± Her name in his voice gave her shivers. ¡°How much time?¡± ¡°A year at most,¡± she admitted. ¡°But before you say anything, I¡¯ve thought about this! I have to be prepared for anything. There are people I want to live no matter what, so I¡¯m allotting time for that too. I¡¯ll heal your wounds, all of you, and I¡¯ll keep you alive. I¡¯ve got enough in me for that. I just¡­ I¡¯ve made my peace. It¡¯s important that I do this with all I have.¡± He was quiet for an agonizing, awkward amount of time. ¡°Okay. A year.¡± He opened his mouth, closed it again, then dragged a hand through his bangs, making them stick out and exposing some of his forehead. Dorothea got the most shameful urge to kiss it. ¡°It¡¯s a lot of time, but also none at all. Huh¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± She took a step towards him. ¡°You know, because of you I was able to work to change myself. So no matter what, know that I¡¯ve made more out of my life than I ever dared to dream of thanks to you.¡± ¡°What? Me? You made a lot of decisions on your own.¡± She had to laugh. ¡°I know, but more than anyone else, you inspired me to become better than I was. So you¡¯re the last person I wanted to hurt or lie to, and I¡¯m sorry.¡± He smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. Just remember what I said.¡± I don¡¯t mind if you hurt me. As if she could forget words like that. ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s take a break.¡± Gren turned and she followed him back into his room, trying not to stare at his back while she thought of something to say. ¡°Something I¡¯ve noticed about you,¡± she said once they had sat on the floor across from each other, ¡°is that you have a tendency to say what you want and not let things fester.¡± ¡°Mostly.¡± ¡°I guess I was just wondering how you got to be so determined. I admire your forthrightness.¡± She wanted to close every gap she could think of, fill her head with his stories. ¡°I trained myself,¡± he said, giving a small smile as she laughed. ¡°You trained yourself to say whatever was on your mind?¡± ¡°Yeah. Time is a luxury. So I need to say these things.¡± Dorothea looked at her lap, feeling restless. ¡°You know, my friend Shark said something similar. They told me we could all lose our lives at any moment, so life is only worth living if we work to make the most of it. That got me thinking, you know? Of what I¡¯d do if I¡­¡± Feeling his gaze on her, she glanced at him and caught his dark, intense eyes. ¡°Had more time,¡± she concluded in a small voice. ¡°You¡¯ve mentioned them before. Will you tell me more?¡± Gren asked after a small silence. ¡°Sharkie¡­ At a time when I was all alone, they came crashing in and saved me. But they just¡­want different things than I do, so it looks like we¡¯ll have to be apart now.¡± She clutched at her chest like that would stop it from hurting so much. ¡°You never know. Some people can change.¡± It didn¡¯t sound like he was saying it as false comfort, so she chased his certainty. ¡°You really think so?¡± ¡°You changed. And I changed, thanks to someone who saved me too.¡± He laughed his short breath of a laugh. ¡°I guess I had my own Sharkie, then.¡± ¡°Your own¡­? Haha!¡± That laugh, the way he¡¯d just said ¡®Sharkie¡¯, it was all so, so cute¡­ Her cheeks and ears felt hot; she bowed her head to hide behind her hair, not wanting him to see and guess what she knew she was making too obvious. ¡°So you have a very important person too, then?¡± Could it be a lover? Not that she had any right to be jealous. ¡°Well¡­ Let me ask. Are you scared of Wesley?¡± ¡°Aside from his obvious desire for murder he¡¯s a very pleasant fellow, I think?¡± Gren chuckled. ¡°Let me tell you something that might help you understand the both of us better, if that¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Please.¡± Anything he might say, she would take it and hold it close. 39. Nightshade and Tansy Gren Fall had saved Wesley Lacaden¡¯s life, and Wesley Lacaden had saved Gren Fall¡¯s soul. Gren was thirteen when he¡¯d been made to lose his mind, lose control of his magic, and kill legions of innocent people. He¡¯d gone straight into hiding after regaining his senses. People knew who he was and what he¡¯d done; it was obvious what magic had spread through the land, and the last living member of that line had to be the person responsible. Every time he was spotted sneaking food, washing in a stream or sleeping in the woods, he had to travel quickly or risk being killed for vengeance. ¡°Like this.¡± He paused in his recounting to lift his bangs and show a scar, the pale blemish cutting partly into his hairline. ¡°From a rock.¡± Dorothea lifted her hand, hesitant, before tracing it with her thumb. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Her touch was always so gentle and warm. ¡°Don¡¯t be. It¡¯s a good thing.¡± If that girl hadn¡¯t thrown that rock at him that day and cursed him for what he¡¯d taken, he wouldn¡¯t have followed her to apologize. If he hadn¡¯t followed her, he wouldn¡¯t have met Wesley. Well, instead of met, it was more like tripped over. It was a dark, thunderous day, the rain falling in sheets so thick Gren could barely see in front of him. That was probably why the girl had felt safe enough to come after him in the first place. But as he gave chase, he suddenly tripped over something large and solid. Once he¡¯d dragged himself up, spat out mud and wiped it from his eyes, he realized that this something was a person, face-down and completely still. He turned the body over, and it let out a weak cough. Gren flinched and leaped away, then crept back in as disoriented, broken murmurs floated towards him. ¡°Mom, keep walking¡­ Dad¡­ Get up¡­ Help me¡­¡± Gren picked up the stranger, grimacing at their lightness. Some people starved to death due to the strain Bittersweet Nightshade had caused; this person had fainted from hunger. There wasn¡¯t enough to go around; all livestock had been consumed long ago, and there were few spare crops to go around. People were quick to hoard what they had to protect their own. His latest camp was close enough to nearby villages to go scavenging but hidden so it wasn¡¯t likely he¡¯d be found if trouble came looking. Once nestled in the lean-to shelter he¡¯d constructed from debris, he waited for the rain to stop before starting a sputtering fire. After they stopped shivering and muttering, the stranger groaned into wakefulness. ¡°Shit, I¡¯m not dead¡­?¡± they muttered as they tried to sit up. They heaved a sigh when their eyes met Gren¡¯s. ¡°Great. What, you gonna fatten me up before you eat me?¡± ¡°No,¡± Gren said, finding his voice scratchy from disuse. This was the longest interaction he¡¯d had in the past two years, so to say he was lost was putting it lightly. ¡°Here.¡± He pushed over a relatively heaping portion of crickets he¡¯d killed and roasted the day before. If there was one good thing about his magic, it was that it helped him catch food other people might not be able to take advantage of. ¡°Protein.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t gotta tell me twice.¡± The food was gone in less than half a minute. ¡°So.¡± The stranger burped and picked at their teeth. ¡°I already know who you are. My name¡¯s Wesley Lacaden.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± Gren paused, turning his back so it would be easier to talk without Wesley¡¯s piercing orange gaze on him. ¡°Moving in morning. You can stay ¡¯til then. More food.¡± ¡°Thanks, but I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t. On my way to answer the call of duty.¡± Wesley smirked as Gren looked over his shoulder in curiosity. ¡°Didn¡¯t you hear? Army¡¯s taking just about anyone they can get, and I¡¯m gonna make a whole lot of trouble for those Sacerian pigs before I kick the bucket.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± ¡°By the way, you know you¡¯re bleeding, right?¡± ¡°Mm.¡± ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Rock.¡± ¡°Lame. If you¡¯re gonna have a scar, it should at least have a cool story.¡± Wesley frowned and waved a hand in front of Gren¡¯s face. Confused, he passed him some more crickets, taking the opportunity to crunch down on one himself. ¡°No, man. You¡¯ve got the blankest face I¡¯ve ever seen. Kinda creeping me out.¡± Gren tilted his head, feigning confusion. Truth be told, he¡¯d worked hard to stunt his emotions. If the people he had killed would never get the chance to laugh or cry or get angry again, why should he get to? Wesley was sneering as if he could see right through this self-flagellating reasoning, and the oddest mixture of confusion and indignance welled up inside Gren. It felt kind of¡­good? ¡°Guilty, huh?¡± Wesley laughed derisively. ¡°The dead don¡¯t care about your guilt or lack thereof.¡± He struggled to his feet, shrugging Gren off when he moved to help. He did accept some rations that Gren hastily tied together with a torn portion of his tattered jacket. ¡°I don¡¯t want my life to have been saved by some emotionally-constipated loser. That doesn¡¯t make for a good story either.¡± His smirk flashed into a genuine smile, just for a second. ¡°Just go for it. You¡¯re only human, after all. People like us, we gotta spit right in the faces of people who say we don¡¯t deserve to live by going out and making something of ourselves.¡± A human. That was right. Gren had only been guided by guilt and fear since the day he had killed so many. To claim he felt nothing was a lie. His own punishment was a sham. ¡°I¡­¡± He spoke to Wesley¡¯s back as he strode away, weak but purposeful. ¡°I hope¡­¡± Hope. He hadn¡¯t hoped for anything beyond his next meal in so long. Having no idea what to say, he feebly waved in what he hoped wasn¡¯t a final goodbye. Wesley laughed. ¡°Later, dude. Try not to die.¡± They met again another two years after that while Gren was surveying the army barracks. He¡¯d spent a lot of the time between his first meeting with Wesley and then travelling, seeing the full impact of Bittersweet Nightshade on Ghuria¡¯s land and people. He knew the exact location of every village and could approximate how many people lived there. He knew where the remaining fertile lands were and was acquainted with every river and stream. There was a love for his homeland that he hadn¡¯t felt before, not even when things were still good. Ghuria had become a wretched, barren place by his own hand, but it was where his family had lived. It was the land that had still given him leave to survive despite his failures. If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. The barracks were pitiful, but that was to be expected. The army became fewer in rank by the month. Most of their efforts involved defending Ghuria¡¯s villages from Sacerian retaliation to raids, which in turn were basically all that kept everybody afloat those days. Gren was camped out in a tree, watching as the soldiers made preparations to disperse what hauls from raids they¡¯d managed to gather. How many were left now? Maybe thirty? ¡°Yo!¡± ¡°Wah!¡± Gren jumped, shocked out of his thoughts. Wesley Lacaden breezed back into his life, cackling as he jetted up on wind to join Gren, sitting on a branch below him. ¡°That¡¯s certainly more expressive.¡± ¡°Nice to see you again.¡± It struck Gren how strange and wonderful it was to meet with someone he hadn¡¯t seen in such long time but find himself feeling like only a few moments had passed. ¡°Yeah, same.¡± Wesley grinned. ¡°Come to join us? We could use you.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve had my share of killing, thank you.¡± Wesley sighed. ¡°I gotta admit I¡¯m pretty jealous. If I had your power, every last one of those pigs would be dead.¡± Gren looked towards Sacer¡¯s bountiful lands. ¡°And then what?¡± ¡°Eh?¡± ¡°Then what would be left for you to aim for?¡± ¡°Geez. Didn¡¯t know I was coming over for a therapy session,¡± Wesley laughed, then looked up at Gren thoughtfully. ¡°Hey. I¡¯ve heard talk of a surrender.¡± And now Gren almost fell out of the tree due to sheer alarm. ¡°But if we surrender, they¡¯ll¡­¡± ¡°You know that, I know that, we all do. It¡¯s just a few whispers here and there for now, but that¡¯s where it¡¯s going. They have the manpower to outlast us and a few magics too powerful for us to beat in the end. So I guess that¡¯s it.¡± ¡°Did you get to kill them like you wanted?¡± Gren asked quietly. ¡°Not enough.¡± Wesley looked toward Sacer now too, an almost manic wistfulness winding through his words. ¡°Not nearly enough.¡± But it would never be enough. Not unless they ended this. Not unless they found another way, but was that even possible¡­? Once Gren started thinking of the possibilities that day, he never really stopped. ¡°I won¡¯t use my magic to kill them, not unless I absolutely have to¡­ But I¡¯m pretty good with a knife, you know,¡± he found himself saying. ¡°I could make a decent raider.¡± Wesley grinned. ¡°Oh yeah?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll make camp nearby. Come get me when you need my help." ¡°Got it. Thanks, bud.¡± ¡°No need.¡± Gren accepted Wesley¡¯s offered hand, and they slid down to the ground on a arc of ice. ¡°Give me some time. I¡¯m going to come up with something¡­ I¡¯ll find a solution to all of this. That¡¯s my responsibility as the person who started it all.¡± Somewhere, there had to be more people who saw that ending the cycle was the only way to go forward. A way to save Ghuria¡­ To save his home. Gren just had to believe in that. ¡°So I joined the army,¡± he said in conclusion. ¡°Most of it was raiding work with Wes. When it really did come to talking about total surrender about a month ago, I became the new leader. Everywhere I went, I looked for someone who might understand and help end things the way I knew this needed to end. Hurting others leads to misery. It leads to revenge, and to more hurt, and it keeps turning until we¡¯re all destroyed. So I just kept going, and¡­¡± He looked at Dorothea with a small smile. ¡°I met you.¡± Her cheeks reddened, and she glanced away before finding his eyes again. ¡°That was an unimaginable burden,¡± she said softly. ¡°It was fine.¡± They¡¯d made it here, somehow. ¡°So Wesley, he¡­¡± Dorothea laughed. ¡°Yeah. He was your Sharkie.¡± She nestled against the wall and drew her knees up. ¡°I guess the people you end up treasuring the most have a tendency to be there just when you need them, huh?¡± ¡°Sounds about right. Because of Wes, I decided never to take anything for granted again. There¡¯s no use stopping yourself from feeling, and like I said, we¡¯re not guaranteed time. I need to say what I mean when I say anything at all.¡± He looked away from her as the embarrassment of talking about himself so much sunk in. ¡°Mm. So Wes, he¡­ He¡¯s another person who¡¯s had too much taken. I¡¯d appreciate it if you try to understand him, same as you worked to understand me. You don¡¯t have to like him of course, but try to see him.¡± She nodded. ¡°I will.¡± She tucked hair behind her ear, and he saw that it was tinged red as well. ¡°Mm.¡± Since they were already on the subject of personal matters and she was practically glowing with how brightly red she was, he asked, ¡°Do you have anyone else in Sacer, or in Sirpo?¡± In plain language: was she single? ¡°Well, there¡¯s Sil. He took care of me when I was younger, when my mom was sick. You know Ariana and Rhys, and there¡¯s Cerid too.¡± ¡°About your mother, I¡¯m sorry.¡± If not for him, she might still be alive. She smiled, telling him it was okay. ¡°I like to think she¡¯d be happy with where I am now.¡± Gren smiled too. ¡°I think the same way.¡± His parents, his sisters¡­ They¡¯d be proud of his efforts, he was sure. Still, to be reminded of it¡­ He¡¯d taken a lot from her. Yes, it was important to say what needed to be said, but for him to actively pursue someone he¡¯d caused so much heartache for¡­ He could imagine what she¡¯d say to these thoughts. She¡¯d tell him it wasn¡¯t his fault, that she¡¯d already forgiven everything. That certainty warmed his heart, but there were some lines he shouldn¡¯t cross, right? He snapped back to the present moment as Dorothea sighed and got to her feet. ¡°Wesley will be up by now. Let¡¯s go meet him so we can get to work.¡± She smiled apologetically. ¡°Sorry in advance.¡± Right. She¡¯d pour her life into Ghuria¡¯s soil, and all he could do was watch her fall apart. ¡°No worries.¡± If that had to be the case, he was happy to be able to do this much. ¡°Feel all that you can while you still can,¡± she said, almost to herself. Then she laughed, looking at him with an awkward, shy smile. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s worth a shot?¡± She was blushing and she was warm and she was there, but she wouldn¡¯t be for much longer. He reached out, hesitated one last time, made up his mind for sure, and took her hand gently. She jumped, staring at him as her pupils dilated. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m just being too impatient,¡± Gren said. It was the first time he¡¯d ever said anything like this, but the words were coming more easily than he¡¯d thought. Probably because he felt so comfortable with her. ¡°Ideally there would be more time to feel things out, but I don¡¯t want to waste a single second. So, Dorothea, I like you. I want to be with you, and get to know you more with that intention in mind.¡± ¡°You like,¡± she squeaked, ¡°m-me?¡± ¡°Romantically, yes.¡± Better not to leave any room for doubt. ¡°Uh. Er. Well I, it¡¯s just, you see¡­¡± Her free hand went up to cover her face, and Gren stepped back from her. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s more than enough for me to be friends. I said it because I wanted to, not to pressure you.¡± She reached out to clasp the hand he¡¯d taken away from her. ¡°No, I¡­!¡± She looked into his eyes, frozen and searching for words. ¡°Hey!¡± Wesley banged on the door and yelled, laughing when Dorothea let out a squeal. He let himself in as was the usual between him and Gren. ¡°You two are late.¡± A smirk spread on his face as he took in Dorothea¡¯s face, her hands held up as if caught in the middle of a crime. Rhys peered from behind him, also not looking surprised at all. ¡°Thanks for having the decency to keep all that to yourselves.¡± Gren sighed. Well, he¡¯d done as he liked. Things would keep moving either way. ¡°Come on.¡± He gave Dorothea a slight smile. ¡°I mean it. Don¡¯t worry. About any of it.¡± She hesitated. ¡°Okay¡­¡± ¡°Oh, rejected?¡± Wesley laughed. ¡°Too bad.¡± Gren his his arm lightly. ¡°Shut it.¡± All that mattered was that he do what he could for her as a friend while she was still there. Every passing of every second, he¡¯d be sure to make the absolute most of it. 40. Clematis Hope It took endless convincing from Cinder, but Iree had finally been granted the council¡¯s permission to make her move. On this blazing September day, she itched to light something on fire. Her magic wouldn¡¯t be usable anymore come October, and she wanted to end this with her own hands. That only gave her three days; today might be her last chance. As they raced on horseback towards the border, Kingfisher, Creed and Olyen all looked calm. Iree had been prepared to snuff out the latter two if they showed hesitation, but it seemed like their hatred for Ghuria outweighed their concern for Atlin. As long as that was the case and they proved useful, she would let them live. The sad little setup the Ghurians had near the border was in sight now. The last time her squad had been here, Iree had gotten humiliated. She came there today with retribution on her mind. Once they dismounted, there wouldn¡¯t be much time before they were noticed. The cover of the trees had become thin, so Iree wasn¡¯t surprised when a whistle from the direction of the settlement resounded sharply. What did surprise her was their horses, still in the middle of being tied up, immediately going berserk. The beasts stampeded towards the Ghurians, and they ran to meet them. They were the only two there, Iree realized, the needle-using bitch and Kingfisher¡¯s sister. Atlin, Rhys, the Fall rat and that double-magic pain in the ass were absent. The rats mounted a horse each, and Kingfisher¡¯s sister gave another whistle before all three horses rode with them in their escape. ¡°Olyen, get us over to them!¡± Iree snapped. ¡°Got it.¡± They put an arm around Ariana¡¯s waist to keep her steady and launched the Sacerians into the air. Leaping between pillars of earth, they pursued the scurrying rats. A grin split Iree¡¯s face when the two women stopped, reaching what they had so desperately run to. All four missing combatants were there, including a wan Atlin, supported by the Fall rat¡¯s arms around her as she stood on unsteady legs. So that¡¯s what she was doing, trying to heal the land to give the rats a fighting chance. That foolishness would end today. * All Shark had to do was protect Thea while still looking like they were in on the fight, get her alone long enough to tell her that they, Cerid and Ariana were on her side, have that conversation without Iree noticing, confirm what her plans were in that span of time, and have them all get out of this alive. Oh, and Iree would kill them, Ariana and Cerid instantly if they disobeyed, but she¡¯d also instantly kill Thea if they weren¡¯t there to get in her way while they pretended to cooperate. Just awesome. The earth beneath all the Sacerians¡¯ feet was destroyed by lashing winds, and it was all Shark could do to land safely with Ariana in tow. They stumbled, but she hauled them upright. ¡°Go,¡± she hissed. ¡°Hang in there,¡± Shark whispered, then ducked just in time to not get a spear of ice through the skull. ¡°Not in the mood for reconciliation, huh?¡± The Ghurian with two magics was laughing. ¡°Suits me just fine.¡± Shark was about to start freaking out, but Cerid swooped in. He ran at the Ghurian, aiming for a low-body tackle. His foe leaped right above him using wind, hands tapping Cerid¡¯s head as he hopped over like they were playing leapfrog. The Ghurian blasted wind above a befuddled Cerid to land a kick to his back, sending him sprawling. ¡°Cerid¡­!¡± Shark breathed, but a hand on their arm snapped them back to focus. ¡°Do your part. I¡¯ve got his back,¡± Ariana promised. She went into battle against her sister and sister-in-law while Cerid threw a punch that would have snapped his opponent¡¯s knee like a twig if he didn¡¯t jump. ¡°Thanks.¡± Shark had to trust in their strength. They touched the ground to send vicious spikes of earth erupting across the terrain. Both the enemy and ally ranks scattered to avoid getting skewered. Shark stayed low to avoid Iree¡¯s detection, weaving between spires and staying hidden while the others engaged the Ghurians, sending up more spikes to guide the players where they needed them to go. There. They could see Thea now, but the Bittersweet Nightshade-user was stuck to her like glue. They didn¡¯t know what Thea thought of them now, hence they didn¡¯t know what she¡¯d told her allies and how they would react. Shark could be dead before they got a chance to say a single word. ¡°Playing hide and seek, pig?¡± a cool voice said from behind them. Two hands wrapped around their throat the moment they finished spinning around. They were lifted straight off the ground and slammed into one of their own pillars, hands clawing at the arms of their attacker. Orange eyes glinted up at them with sadistic pleasure; Cerid¡¯s foe had escaped from him. ¡°Well now¡­ Want to die by wind or by ice?¡± Shark reached behind themself and loosened the earth of the pillar, turning it into crumbling clods. They and the Ghurian fell to the ground, and Shark tossed him off by propelling both feet into his gut. They shot to their feet and seized him by the back of the shirt, slamming his face into a nearby spire. While he spat blood and tried to shake off his disorientation, Shark jetted them both forth on a wave of rolling soil. Then they were in front of Thea and the Bittersweet Nightshade-user. Shark tossed the double-threat Ghurian to the ground, but not before whispering in his ear. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Make a wall of ice. Hide us from the others, and make it look good. I¡¯m begging you here.¡± ¡°This is no fun,¡± he muttered back, rolling to his feet as he tapped his heel to the ground. Spires of ice shot into the air, one of the needle points grazing Shark¡¯s temple in a small show of revenge. ¡°Sharkie¡­¡± Thea took a step back, and the Bittersweet Nightshade-user moved in front of her. They took a deep breath and lifted their hands. ¡°We don¡¯t have a lot of time, Thea. Please listen.¡± She opened her mouth but they barrelled on, both in the interest of time and in fear of what she might say. ¡°I was wrong. I got blinded by my own suffering and couldn¡¯t see through to anyone else. Thea, I¡¯m sorry I made you feel like you couldn¡¯t trust me.¡± ¡°No!¡± she cried, startling Shark with the force behind her protest. ¡°No, you¡­ I can¡¯t imagine the pain you¡¯ve been through, so it¡¯s easy for me to talk. I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t stay beside you, but I couldn¡¯t let all this keep going¡­¡± Tears filled her eyes. ¡°Are you okay? Are you all doing well?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Shark grinned. ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± they laughed, sweeping her up in their arms as she met them in the middle. ¡°How touching,¡± the double-threat Ghurian drawled. ¡°Now hurry up. Pearlie and Johanna can¡¯t hold out forever, and it¡¯s not like that Rhys guy will be of any help.¡± Shark nodded and spoke quickly to Dorothea. ¡°Listen. Cerid and I realize now that we have to find another way to really make things right. He, Ariana and I are trying to stop things from our side. Ariana told us everything.¡± She clung to their arms. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t tell you earlier. By the time I knew the whole truth and found proof, Iree already had me. But that doesn¡¯t matter now. I¡¯m healing Ghuria¡¯s lands.¡± She looked around the battlefield, torn apart by magic. ¡°Or I¡¯m trying to.¡± ¡°Thea¡­¡± She was going to kill herself trying to do that, but Shark knew she¡¯d chosen this with full awareness. ¡°We¡¯ll do whatever we can to halt further attacks. Stay your course.¡± ¡°Right. I¡¯ll work as fast as I can.¡± She narrowed her eyes, and Shark at once understood her resolve. It was one beyond life and death, tied instead to kindness, forgiveness and redemption. ¡°Shark, you do what you have to do. Me and mine are strong, and we¡¯ll make it through whatever Iree makes you throw at us.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll trust you on that.¡± They kissed her cheek. ¡°You¡¯re gonna be my best woman, remember?¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t miss it for the world.¡± She gave them one last squeeze before going back to stand behind her Ghurian companions. ¡°Now.¡± The wind-and-ice boy cracked his knuckles. ¡°Let¡¯s make this look good.¡± Shark bent to press both hands to the dirt. ¡°Try not to kill me, please.¡± * Earth and ice exploded against each other, shattering the barrier between both sides of the fight in the process. Dorothea, Gren, Wesley and Shark leapt back into the fray, but Rhys barely noticed. Iree was right in front of him. It would be so easy to kill her, and part of him wanted that revenge more than anything. Still, there was more harm than his that she needed to answer to. She was one of the few people in Sacer who knew the truth of this war, who could admit to it and give people from all three nations the closure they deserved. Pearlie, Wesley and Johanna were now facing off against Ariana, Cerid and Shark, leaving Rhys, Dorothea and Gren against Iree. The need to leave Iree alive complicated things, and she seemed aware of it herself. Rhys had put up strings of water in front of her, but Iree wasn¡¯t daunted. ¡°I really never thought you¡¯d betray me like this,¡± she commented. Those words would never work again. They attacked a core part of him that reacted with immense pain, but he wasn¡¯t facing her alone anymore. ¡°You¡¯re the one who betrayed me,¡± he asserted quietly. She rolled her eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know whether to be more disappointed that you fell for Atlin¡¯s tactics or that you think this will hold me back.¡± Smiling, she stepped forward. If Rhys kept his water up, she¡¯d be sliced to bits. With a gasp, he let it fall without getting a scratch on her. Smiling sweetly, she held her hand out. ¡°Come back with me. We can figure everything out.¡± Rhys¡¯ body felt hot enough to erupt and cold enough to crack apart at the same time. He couldn¡¯t breathe all of a sudden, but then a hand touched his back gently, and Dorothea was at his side. If looks could kill, hers would, and her voice was scarily calm. ¡°Back off, Iree.¡± Iree laughed. ¡°And what do you think you can do when you''re not willing to kill me?¡± Rhys didn¡¯t know. He couldn¡¯t move. If he wasn¡¯t willing to even draw a drop of blood, what chance did he have of getting out of a confrontation with Iree? ¡°Dorothea!¡± Gren¡¯s voice cut through his panic. ¡°Got it!¡± She clasped Gren¡¯s hand tightly, and in a flash they had disappeared. Before Rhys could even have a second to feel confused, they had reappeared behind Iree. Gren touched her back with one hand and held a knife in the other, making a shallow cut across Iree¡¯s throat. The nullifying liquid created by Johanna¡¯s magic mixed with her blood in a thin trickle. ¡°I¡¯d stand down if I were you,¡± he said mildly. Rhys had known he and Dorothea had been practicing something in secret, but he hadn¡¯t suspected this. He lifted his hands cautiously. ¡°Olyen, now!¡± Iree howled. She turned to give Dorothea a sucker punch to the gut that knocked her out cold, her eyes bugging out before they lost focus completely. Gren, distracted, let Iree slip past him as he reflexively moved to catch Dorothea first. As he tried to run over to help, the earth beneath Rhys¡¯ feet started shaking. He was thrown back as blocks of packed soil shifted like rolling ocean waves. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he watched both sides scattering, the Sacerians easily getting to safety with Shark¡¯s magic. Gren was clinging onto Dorothea as a great cavern split the ground with a screaming shudder. Rhys yelled words he himself didn¡¯t understand as the two fell into the chasm, sinking within a darkness he couldn¡¯t see the end of. The Sacerians were gone in seconds, leaving Rhys, Wesley, Pearlie and Johanna within the shock of eerily quiet aftermath. If Rhys had fought alongside them, none of this would be happening. To fight, to kill, he¡¯d always thought of these things as blights upon him. But now that he¡¯d found a person who was willing to forgive it all, there was a spark of something different in the back of his mind. Was it really so bad if it was the only way to protect? Wouldn¡¯t he rather soak himself in as much blood as he had to rather than lose her and the hope she was giving this world, his own forgiveness and redemption be damned? ¡°Wesley, stop!¡± Rhys turned to see Pearlie holding one of Wesley¡¯s arms down while Johanna stood with her arms crossed, lecturing him. ¡°Either magic you might use, if you cut into the ground you¡¯ll end up killing them both!¡± ¡°We have to do something!¡± he snapped. ¡°Excuse me.¡± Rhys interjected, lifting a hand. ¡°I¡¯ll go on in, if you don¡¯t mind. I sense a lot of water beneath us. I can use that to bring them back up to the surface.¡± Wesley glared. ¡°Little too late for you to help now, isn¡¯t it?¡± Rhys smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I think we all know what needs to be done now. See, Wesley, her methods and yours¡­ The only way we can win is to have them meet in the middle. I truly believe that¡¯s how we¡¯ll end this war and fix this country. That said¡­¡± He stepped to the edge of the chasm. ¡°I¡¯ll just be a few minutes.¡± Without hesitation, Rhys leapt downwards. 41. Clematis Resolve The soil was tight around him, and Rhys resisted the instinct to thrash against the confining pressure. Siphoning all the groundwater he could, he slowly cut out around him. Though there were only thin, trembling shafts of light from above to guide his way, but he knew the rough area of where they had to have landed. He cut and crawled towards them, wheezing in the stifling space. The layer of earth below him was dangerously thin, but he knew they had to be close. There! He heard a faint noise and followed it until he caught a flash of color. ¡°Whoa¡­¡± Where his knee hit next, a chunk of dirt collapsed and fell with a sound like rain. ¡°Hey!¡± He broke through one more layer in front of him and grabbed onto that color. ¡°We¡¯re both alive,¡± Gren coughed, and then the delicate layer beneath them fell apart. Both boys screeched as they were met with free air. While Gren held on to Dorothea for dear life, Rhys concentrated his magic. The water he¡¯d sensed before was growing closer: an underground lake that would likely have drowned Dorothea and Gren, dooming them after a crushing impact against its surface, if he wasn¡¯t there. Instead smacking against the water¡¯s surface, Rhys landed them against gentle pools. These cradles carried them on and, streaked with mud, he and Gren dragged themselves and Dorothea to shore. Gren sighed after checking Dorothea¡¯s airway. ¡°Unobstructed. She¡¯s been stirring, but who knows when she¡¯ll regain consciousness.¡± ¡°She¡¯s been waking up much faster than usual lately. It used to take her almost a full day of rest to wake up, but now she¡¯s going out every day at the same time.¡± Rhys studied her wan face. ¡°Which means she¡¯s pushing herself hard to get this all done fast. Probably¡­that¡¯s how her mother was too.¡± Gren gently brushed wet hair out of her eyes. ¡°She¡¯s told you about that as well?¡± ¡°Yeah. Telling me about herself was her way of reaching out to me. It¡­gave me the courage to do the same. If that makes sense.¡± ¡°It does.¡± It hit Rhys with a simple truth that just hadn¡¯t settled until now that Dorothea, the person he considered his best friend, was going to die decades earlier than she was supposed to all because of Iree¡¯s actions, because of Sharee¡¯s and Cinder Creed¡¯s selfishness and this war. He remembered now that Sharee¡¯s pin had been left behind in the Catacombs, and it felt better that way. ¡°Will you carry her? I¡¯ll get us out of here.¡± Gren nodded, draping her over his back with his arms looped under her knees. ¡°I¡¯ve got you,¡± he said softly, brow furrowed with concern. Despite himself, Rhys chuckled. ¡°You really like her.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Gren followed as Rhys started walking, water from the lake slithering behind him. ¡°Me too. I love her more than I¡¯ve ever loved anyone else.¡± He shook his head. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s a different love than yours.¡± More and more water was gathering in his hold. Twenty gallons. Thirty. More¡­ As much power as he could, for their sake. Protecting them was for himself too. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry either way. It¡¯s her choice.¡± ¡°True. I suppose this is just my roundabout way of saying you have my support. I¡¯ll protect her and the things she loves. I¡­¡± He trailed off as Dorothea groaned. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°Gren¡­?¡± She croaked, clinging to his shirt. ¡°Rhys¡­ Are either of you hurt?¡± ¡°Not at all,¡± Gren said. ¡°Rhys is getting us out of here. It¡¯s going to be okay. Just breathe.¡± Rhys felt relaxed despite everything. They¡¯d take good care of each other from now on. As for him, who knew? He had been shown that people could become good through effort. He could be the same if he tried hard. Did he have that right? Only he could answer that for himself, and he wavered every time he tried to decide. He found himself thinking back to the day he had met her and all that had happened since. ¡°Dorothea,¡± Rhys said with a smile, ¡°thank you for everything. Thank you for showing me your vulnerabilities and letting me show you mine. Above all, thank you for giving me the hope to continue living.¡± ¡°Well of course, but why are you¡­?¡± She gritted her teeth and twisted Gren¡¯s shirt as a wave of pain hit. All the land she¡¯d healed today would have to be repaired again. The essence of Dorothea Atlin was draining away, and he¡¯d stood there paralyzed by his own demons. ¡°Do you remember what you said to me about your mother?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll have to be more specific,¡± she laughed weakly. ¡°I said a whole lot.¡± ¡°You told me that no matter what she had to give up, she was happy because it was worth it to her. The choices she made, whether right or wrong, gave her that sort of peace.¡± He smiled as he found a suitable spot. ¡°Put her down and hold on tight to each other, okay? Dorothea, I wanted to let you know that that¡¯s how I feel right now. You¡¯re worth it. Our cause, the people at our side, everything is more than worth it to me.¡± ¡°Rhys,¡± she gasped, realizing, ¡°you don¡¯t have to, we can find a way! I¡¯ll¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s not just your burden.¡± Water flowed around them, ready to burst at even the slightest twitch of his hand. ¡°Thank you for promising me a life without violence. I¡¯ll get there someday, but that time isn¡¯t now. Not with things much bigger than just my life on the line.¡± He steeled himself, clenching his hands into fists. Water surrounded the three of them, a softly flowing shield keeping a bubble of air as the rest of the ammunition gathered underfoot. Rhys let out a slow breath, then unleashed the full force of eighty gallons of water into a geyser. They were launched upwards through the soil and then back into open air, the water sloshing out in great waves as Rhys lost his adrenaline and control. They landed in soaked heaps, but very much alive. ¡°Huh.¡± Wesley bent down to seize Rhys¡¯ hand and pull him up. ¡°Guess you¡¯re not so useless after all. I mean pretty useless still, but not completely.¡± He smiled in response to Wesley¡¯s friendly smirk. ¡°I try.¡± He held his hand tighter. ¡°Thank you for trusting me.¡± ¡°Yeah, well. Anyone who puts up with me as a roommate so well can¡¯t be all bad.¡± He shrugged, moving to join Johanna and Pearlie as they helped Dorothea and Gren to their feet. ¡°What now?¡± Pearlie asked, looking at the wreckage around them. ¡°We won¡¯t last like this.¡± ¡°Pretty sure they think you and Dorothea are dead, Gren,¡± Johanna noted. ¡°We could use that. And even if they are prepared for you guys being alive, they think they¡¯ve beaten us down just now. We can show them they haven¡¯t. You know, if you guys are willing to, uh¡­you know.¡± Wesley laughed. ¡°Don¡¯t dance around it. You guys are trying to resolve this peacefully or whatever, but this is a good sign of how things are gonna keep going if we don¡¯t fight back.¡± Gren and Dorothea looked at each other, hesitating. ¡°I just wanted to believe we could¡­that we could¡­¡± Her words were small, crushed. He hugged her closer. ¡°I know.¡± ¡°Your intentions are good,¡± Rhys began gently, ¡°but there are people beyond redemption in this world. There are people who want others to suffer no matter what it takes. Dorothea¡­ You¡¯ve changed the course of things and done a lot of good. Lots of people will be saved that wouldn¡¯t have been if you hadn¡¯t chosen to try to change things with kindness. But we can¡¯t change everything that way. We just can¡¯t.¡± ¡°And we have to move fast before they try anything else.¡± Wesley frowned at Dorothea. ¡°Can you handle it?¡± She smiled faintly, accepting this as his form of genuine concern. ¡°Give me the tomorrow to rest and so we can plan our strike¡­ Just a day. Then I¡­ I¡¯ll be ready.¡± Rhys reached out to squeeze her shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ll carry the burden together.¡± There was no choice anymore. Ideals and reality had to meet in the middle. Her hands were clenched into fists, but he could tell Dorothea understood. ¡°Right.¡± She glanced at Gren. ¡°Back here again¡­ Let¡¯s all put our affairs in order, then. Just in case of the worst.¡± Rhys nodded, but he wouldn¡¯t let it come to that, not for any of them. No matter what it took. 42. Nightshades Embrace Dorothea felt like she could sleep forever, and part of her was scared that if she didn¡¯t force herself up, she just might. Her fearfully thrumming heart was calmed by the sense of a presence near her. She was bundled up in bed, and Gren was asleep on the floor near her, sitting up with his head nodding towards his chest. His hair was loose and spread across his face and shoulders. It gave him a faintly delicate and feminine appearance that made her chest tighten. Hesitant, she sat up and reached out to touch his head. Twisting hair around her finger, she said, ¡°Gren. You¡¯ll get a crick in your neck like that. Eep!¡± she squeaked as his hand flew up to clutch at hers. ¡°Wha¡­?¡± He blinked up at her before swooping up for a bone-crushing hug that almost dragged her to the floor with him the next second. ¡°I-I¡¯m okay!¡± She patted his back. ¡°I¡¯m okay¡­¡± His grip loosened, and he backed away to look at her. ¡°I¡¯d only just fallen asleep. Your timing is impeccable,¡± he said with a small laugh. Dorothea smiled. ¡°That explains why you woke up so easily.¡± She patted the bed, and he took a close seat by her. He tucked hair behind her ears and searched her face. ¡°How do you feel?¡± ¡°Tired. Very tired,¡± she admitted. ¡°How long was I out?¡± ¡°Only a few hours. Did you¡­¡± He trailed off as she leaned forward to rest her forehead at the base of his neck. It had happened to her mother, too. The closer she got to the end, the less she¡¯d rested. Her body and spirit had fought harder and harder, ignoring their limitations. Dorothea felt as if she were balancing between the gossamer line that existed between the place where the sea and sky met on the horizon. ¡°Is everyone else okay?¡± ¡°They¡¯re preparing. Resting. I had to send them all home or else they¡¯d have been watching over you too instead of getting some rest for themselves too.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°I¡¯m very loved, aren¡¯t I¡­¡± ¡°Yes.¡± She looked up, meeting his eyes. His face was so close, but she didn¡¯t feel worried. There was a powerful sense of security when he was near. ¡°I want to talk to you about what you said before.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He watched her patiently. A sudden thought occurred to her, and she clapped her hands over her mouth, making them both jump. ¡°I-I¡¯ll be right back!¡± She fled into the hallway and slammed the door shut in her haste. Worry flooded her mind for a moment, but then she heard him laughing. It was an adoring, embracing laughter, absent of ridicule. The communal bathrooms were rickety of course, but they were all able to get cleaned up each day. Gren and Dorothea took their turns, joining back up on the bed afterwards. ¡°So, um! Yeah.¡± He smiled, waiting once again for her to gather her thoughts. Okay. This was it. ¡°I tried to tell you before, but I was too nervous. I¡¯ve never done something like this before, and¡­¡± She shook her head. ¡°I like you too. I want to get to know you more, and be together with you.¡± He grinned, trying and failing to suppress it. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ Wow, I¡¯m really happy to hear that.¡± This was real. He was agreeing to tie his life to hers. But was he really okay with what that meant? ¡°Gren, I want you to be sure. The fact is, I¡¯ll leave you long before either of us wants. That¡¯s a heavy burden.¡± Her heart was filled with so much yearning it felt ready to burst, but the inevitability of hurting him was shredding her apart. ¡°We both have burdens. Every person does. If you¡¯re willing to accept me, then there¡¯s no need to hesitate.¡± Gren leaned closer, and she could sense the warmth of his skin. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you everything that makes me sure. I¡¯ll show you that certainty, if you¡¯ll have me.¡± Joy and excitement sent a tremble through her. ¡°Before I knew it, you were constantly on my mind. Thinking about you and your words helped me stay strong. You make me feel like anything is possible. And¡­ Even now that we know that¡¯s not true, I still know that we¡¯re going to be okay as long as we keep pressing on.¡± Every time she felt ready to drown in doubt and hurt, the people she¡¯d come to treasure were there to save her. ¡°Whatever happens, I wanted to say all of this to you.¡± He put his forehead against hers and rubbed the back of her neck comfortingly. ¡°We¡¯ll be okay. I promise you.¡± Dorothea smiled but froze up when he traced gently to the front of her neck, up her throat and jaw to cup her cheek. Even such a light skim of a touch left a blazing trail. ¡°Can I?¡± He looked at her carefully, taking stock of her reaction. ¡°Yes.¡± Dorothea squeezed his hand reflexively as he pressed his lips to hers, firmly and only for a second. ¡°I, ahem, I¡¯m warning you, I¡¯m new to all this,¡± she said in a small voice, feeling ecstatically overwhelmed. Her first kiss. It had been so slight and fleeting. She wanted more. ¡°Me too.¡± Impossible. ¡°No one else has ever¡­?¡± He smiled wryly. ¡°I kill through touch and have an established history of losing control of my magic. That deters most people. Though your surprise is appreciated.¡± Dorothea averted her gaze in shame. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Gren¡­ I was the same. I didn¡¯t see you at all at first, and I did and said such awful things¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. You see me now. You see all of us.¡± Gathering her courage, she touched her lips to his. ¡°I do.¡± He smiled, looking a little bashful. ¡°I¡¯m the one who¡¯s surprised, you know?¡± ¡°If you keep being so sweet to me, I¡¯ll¡­¡± Dorothea closed her eyes as their noses touched. Maybe that was just how it was when you admired someone so much, to be so unbelieving that others wouldn¡¯t see them the same way. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. He kissed her, just for a moment again. ¡°You¡¯ll what?¡± Dorothea was embarrassed by her own sense of greed. ¡°Um. A little more is fine,¡± she encouraged in a soft voice, unsure of where to look or put her hands. He kissed her without a quick withdrawal now, hands gently pushing into her hair. His fingers clenched and unclenched, his breath wavering, as if he were trying to hold back. Weight and warmth pressed down on her, and Dorothea gasped against his lips as she landed on her back, pushed into the blankets. ¡°Woah!¡± He lifted himself up with an awkward smile. ¡°Sorry. Overzealous, I think.¡± Gods, he was cute. ¡°Me¡­ Me too.¡± She was caught between feeling comfortable with what they were doing and not finding it natural due to inexperience and years of denial. Tentative, she lifted her head to peck him on the cheek and rested her hands against his back. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do now.¡± She was unnerved by how quickly and easily this new and warm, mind-numbing feeling was overtaking her. ¡°I¡¯m a little scared,¡± she whispered. His expression softened. ¡°There¡¯s no rush. Not for anything.¡± Even with her, who barely had time worth giving to him? She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when he pushed her bangs back to brush a tender kiss to her forehead. ¡°I just saw all the doubts play across your face. Don¡¯t worry about any of that. This is enough.¡± I¡¯m enough, Dorothea thought, and the miracle of finding someone who made her feel that way so completely was overwhelming enough to bring tears to her eyes. ¡°I love you a little bit,¡± she laughed, pulling him into a hug. He didn¡¯t reply, but a tremor ran up his back. Dorothea realized that he felt the exact same way she did in that moment. She squeezed her eyes shut and hugged him, clinging to his back. His hands splayed out and pressed on hers like he wanted to hold as much of her as possible as close as possible. ¡°You should get some rest,¡± Dorothea told him softly. ¡°Mm. I don¡¯t want to sleep at all. Not for a year.¡± He shifted onto his side though, drawing his arms more tightly around her as his body otherwise relaxed. She listened to his breath slow down and even out, basking in a slow feeling of contentment. It started to lull her to sleep like music. ¡°Not once,¡± Gren murmured, and it seemed like it was from a dream. ¡°What?¡± Dorothea whispered after a long silence ensued. She gazed at him, smiling and tittering a small laugh as his tell for embarrassment played out. A playful pout replaced that feeling, and he buried his face in her chest, laughing as she squealed. He held tight. So tight, like he was afraid she¡¯d vanish otherwise. ¡°Not once since that day,¡± he confessed, words muffled, ¡°did I think someone would come to love me.¡± She said nothing, hoping that the gentle, lingering kiss she planted to the top of his head would convey everything she was suddenly too choked up to voice. He looked up at her when she lifted her head. ¡°People like you can¡¯t ignore the world and just let it keep turning. Part of me wishes that weren¡¯t the case. But, well, that¡¯s why I love you in the first place.¡± Her breath halted. ¡°You¡­?¡± He smiled. ¡°Saying that, there¡¯s no point in waiting. I¡¯ve decided that I love you. Whether it¡¯s one year, more or less¡­ I love you.¡± He chuckled and added teasingly, ¡°A little bit.¡± ¡°A little bit,¡± Dorothea echoed, laughing. Gods, she was lucky. This life had given her so much. To fall asleep in a loved one¡¯s arms, and to hold them in her arms as he did the same. What a new, beautiful sort of joy. * Gren was a fool to think his dreams might improve so quickly. He¡¯d felt so happy before going to sleep though. He and Dorothea had made love again and fallen asleep to the sound of rain the night before, and it had felt impossible for everything not to be okay in that moment. Yet here he was. Sometimes he came to a point where he knew he was asleep but couldn¡¯t quite wake up yet despite trying to thrash his way to the surface. Those were the worst nightmares, where his body and mind wouldn¡¯t reach the same place. It felt too real. ¡°Gren¡­ Gren¡­¡± A voice was reaching him, cutting out all the rest. ¡°Gren!¡± He woke with a heaving gasp. ¡°Wha?!¡± It took a few gulps of air to catch and regulate his breath. By the light streaming in, there was no way he¡¯d been asleep more than an hour or two. ¡°Dorothea¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s me¡­¡± She was stroking his hair, concern all over her face. Gren¡¯s face was buried in her chest, his arms constricting her around her back and waist. He was still trembling and a little sweaty. She watched him as he pulled away, sitting up to collect himself. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°I have bad dreams,¡± Gren admitted. ¡°Sorry for alarming you.¡± ¡°What are the dreams about? If you feel like talking about it.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± He let himself be pulled into her comfort, laying back down and putting a loose arm around her shoulders when she put her head on his chest. ¡°My family. Do you ever dream about yours?¡± ¡°No. Well, the only family I ever had by blood was my mother. I¡¯ve never known anyone else.¡± ¡°I see.¡± He took her hand and idly traced the lines of it. ¡°I know they¡¯d forgive me for not protecting them. I don¡¯t know why I dream like this. It¡­ Well, it got worse after we found out what really happened. I guess I¡¯m just¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯re grieving,¡± Dorothea finished softly. ¡°A grief that started that day and hasn¡¯t been answered yet.¡± ¡°Yeah. I won¡¯t be able to let them go until we end this. I feel that in my bones.¡± He was the one holding on, not them. Their rage was something he¡¯d built up in his head. It was his suppressed anger against the world and people who had taken so much from him and his home and people. ¡°We¡¯ve all got some of that darkness in us, I think,¡± he mused. ¡°I think so too. If I think about how many things could have gone differently, how much worse and more violent things could have gotten on this road we¡¯ve been on if even small choices had been made by certain people¡­ It¡¯s terrifying.¡± ¡°Then what about you?¡± he asked into her palm as he kissed it. ¡°I¡¯m not perfect. Somewhere, there¡¯s a version of me that didn¡¯t stop at slapping you that day. She slit your throat. Somewhere maybe there¡¯s a me that never even left Sirpo at all, and she let Ghuria be destroyed by Sacer without a single care. And somewhere else, who knows?¡± ¡°Then there¡¯s a me somewhere who eradicated the Sacerians in vengeance, isn¡¯t there?¡± ¡°Possibly.¡± She pressed her lips over his heart through his shirt. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t change where we are now for anything. So keep that darkness. There¡¯s nothing wrong with it. The you and I here and now will continue to make the right choices. We¡¯ll grieve and love well.¡± All good and bad things alike would come to an end. Perhaps that was for the best, or perhaps it was a wish. It meant change for the better would always be possible, even if happiness could never be permanent. Gren gently pushed her onto her back, then pressed his lips over her heart as well, or as close as he could get. ¡°Thank you.¡± Dorothea put a hand over her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re kind of unfair, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°C-Come on, you can¡¯t do that and expect me to just shrug it off like you.¡± ¡°You did it first.¡± ¡°But¡­!¡± She hid behind her hands again. ¡°You¡¯re too much for me.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He watched how the beginning colors of sunset dyed her hair through the gap in the matted, makeshift curtains. Sunset. He sat up so suddenly that Dorothea yelped in shock. ¡°Sorry,¡± he laughed. ¡°But I want to do something. I want to show you a little bit of my homeland, right now. Is that okay?¡± ¡°Well of course, but¡­¡± She stopped talking and gave him a begrudging smile after he snuck a kiss to her lips. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡± Time to go get Wesley and the others. 43. Crocus Plea Sacerians devoted themselves to the Gods of the Pantheon of Old. They had time, resources and energy to waste on gluttonizing, on mirth with wild abandon. On letting their guards down. Ghurians, on the other hand, celebrated peace, fleeting as it was. They celebrated the anniversary of the end of each war, knowing things always got marginally better in peacetime and striving to get to that place again and again. That is, until the next fight came. Gren had been in Sacer¡¯s Catacombs when the festival date the Ghurians called Pantheon¡¯s Blight had passed by. Pantheon¡¯s Blight was a celebration of the end of the War of the Pantheon, the second war to ever be waged between Sacer and Ghuria. Distantly, he wondered if someday they would all be celebrating Nightshade¡¯s Blight. Well. Not all of them. It was tradition for these festivals to start as the sun went down. As what distant sounds of nature that could joined them in a somber, weak tune, as the fire they made and encircled with their bodies gained contrast with the lengthening darkness, it began. Gren hoped this would bring Dorothea closer to the people he cared for. He hoped it would help her understand the world they all came from. She still didn¡¯t fully understand. Maybe they never could fully understand one another after so long having lived in disparate circumstances. Still, this was his way of saying he still wanted to try. Wesley had long ago claimed the role of officiator for every ceremony; today was no different. He wore a calm, solemn expression that he only reserved for special occasions. To Gren, it seemed to fit him more well than any other. The real Wesley wasn¡¯t the smirking, callous one. Gren couldn¡¯t fully say that was a good thing. He couldn¡¯t say that one side was better than the other at all. Wesley raised his hand to catch a knife Gren tossed him. ¡°Ready to start, you all?¡± After everyone assented, he closed his eyes. ¡°On this night, we remember the price of the War of the Pantheon. Here, we consider our blessings and losses, our boons and flaws, and devote ourselves to the future. Whatever it may hold, we shall grasp.¡± His eyes fluttered open, firelight pooling in their depths. Then he cut his own palm in a shallow line, holding it above the small fire for blood to drip down. ¡°For the sake of my father and mother who died before me, I swear all my strength. Snowbound Crocus and Howling Tansy guide me.¡± He passed the knife to his right, into Johanna¡¯s waiting hand. She cut her hand and said, ¡°For my love, and for my comrades, I swear all my strength. True Mistletoe guides me.¡± Pearlie was next. ¡°For my family, those buried beneath the soil and those above, I swear all my strength. Call of the Butterfly Bush guides me.¡± She offered the blade to Gren. ¡°For the land that sustained me and the ones who embraced me despite my sins, I swear all my strength. Bittersweet Nightshade guides me.¡± His hand brushed Dorothea¡¯s and lingered for a heartbeat before he passed to her. She flinched at the blade¡¯s bite but did it anyhow. ¡°For the future that must be changed, I swear all my strength. Eternal Rosemary guides me.¡± She and Rhys looked into each other¡¯s eyes as they traded over, and something passed there that only the two of them were privy to. He went slower, looking for words more carefully than the rest. ¡°To find a place where we can all heal. To¡­to that end. I swear all my strength. Aquatic Clematis guides me.¡± Honesty and power pulsed through them all. They were linked by the flame, by their convictions. ¡°With our blood, we create a path,¡± Wesley stated in the ritual¡¯s conclusion. ¡°And with our hearts and minds in unison, we tread that path to its finish.¡± Yes, Gren thought. A heart and mind together set on a path made it traversable. It made living in this world, someday hoping to flourish within it, possible. Wesley¡¯s laughter interrupted everyone¡¯s repose, but Wesley did that every time. ¡°Fun part¡¯s here!¡± He gestured behind him to a sparse collection of bottles of various shapes and sizes, all with various remaining levels of liquid remaining in them. Yes. These festivals were also the only times out of the year when Ghurians allowed themselves to drink or indulge in any given altering substance. It wouldn¡¯t do to become dependent, but they¡¯d allow a bit of relaxation where they could. They spoke among themselves for a long time, mostly reminiscing. The old days before the war had started were never perfect or even good, but every time a new conflict began they could always realize how things could get worse. Still, it taught them just how much they could survive too. Maybe looking on the bright side was just a way to cope, Gren mused. Maybe there really was a darkness just like Wesley¡¯s lurking in him, waiting for him to weaken. Maybe all of them had to make that choice in this life. His thoughts always spun that direction on nights like this. Sitting there quietly sipping and listening to the others had always been calming for him. He knew what Pearlie¡¯s favorite animals to talk to were. He knew about Johanna¡¯s love for history and her desire to someday become Ghuria¡¯s premier author on the subject. And of course he knew more about Wesley than he cared to at times. The man didn¡¯t have much of a filter. Listening was his way of making bonds. It had been different with Dorothea because of the way she conducted herself and because of all that had been at stake, but all the others had allowed him to silently ingratiate himself and embraced him when he was ready to share his words. Of course now there were times he said so much to Dorothea that his throat hurt from the unfamiliar exertion. ¡°I love you all so much,¡± he whispered. ¡°Thank you for everything.¡± Well, some words were harder to say than others. But he¡¯d get them out someday. And someday came sooner than he thought. Things rarely happened when one decided to be ready for them. Footsteps shuffled up to his side, and Pearlie peered down at him. ¡°A quick word?¡± ¡°Mm. What is it?¡± ¡°I just¡­ There¡¯s no guarantee that things are going to go well, so there are some things I wanted to say.¡± She sat beside him and sipped at a straight bottle of vodka, not even flinching at the taste. Gren couldn¡¯t stand the stuff. ¡°None of us are afraid of dying. Even if Dorothea wasn¡¯t on our side, that would be the case. But¡­¡± She bit her lip. ¡°I hate to have to prove to them that we are what they think.¡± Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. ¡°What?¡± ¡°The Sacerians think we¡¯re monsters. All this time I¡¯ve felt so degraded by that. I never wanted to live up to those expectations. But we''re the ones attacking now. We¡¯ll be the cruel ones. I never wanted¡­ Ugh. This is why I prefer animals to humans.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Pearlie.¡± She shook her head. ¡°You know, everyone else thinks I joined you just so I could help Ana. But from the very start, I believed in the honor of your ideals. I love my homeland and my people. I just wanted to let you know that. Even if it hurts, or whatever it makes us¡­ Those ideals are still in us no matter what we have to do now. We can fight our way back to them. We¡¯re all Ghurians and we¡¯re all killers. But we¡¯re people, too. Maybe what''s happening next is just the last possible way we have of screaming that out into the world.¡± Gren took in her words seriously and thought about his response for what felt like the appropriate amount of time. ¡°I was always ashamed. So ashamed of being a killer. So to hear you lay it out like that, it¡¯s¡­ It makes me feel more forgivable. If that makes sense.¡± She laughed. ¡°We all know what happened, and we¡¯ve all suffered. We all think you¡¯re pretty cool anyways, Gren. And we know you feel the same way about us, even if you¡¯re not verbose about it.¡± He blushed, embarrassed. ¡°That¡¯s¡­good.¡± She laughed and hopped up. ¡°Well¡­ Jojo¡¯s waiting for me. Thanks for hearing me out.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Gren said quietly, then again, louder and firmly. ¡°Thank you. All of you. For everything, for standing by me, for¡­ Thanks.¡± ¡°You bet.¡± She paused after a few steps, turning to him. ¡°The two of you make a fine pair. Even if your time is short, it¡¯ll be well-spent.¡± Gren felt a little bit ready to cry. ¡°Thank you,¡± he whispered to the night. ¡°For giving me this. For letting me come this far. I¡¯ll work to keep it.¡± * Wesley¡¯s thoughts were hazy because he was massively drunk. If this was one of the few times of year he got to live it up, then that¡¯s what he was going to do, damn it. ¡°Hwuh? Hey, give it back,¡± he groaned when someone snatched a half-empty bottle of wine from his grasp. ¡°This is my roof, ya hear me?¡± Rhys sat beside him and took a swig. ¡°Our roof, for now. Technically everyone¡¯s roof. This entire building is connected.¡± ¡°Yeah sure cool. How¡¯d ya get up here?¡± ¡°Climbed.¡± ¡°Sneaky pig.¡± Wesley flopped onto his back, hands behind his head. ¡°Yup.¡± He took another drink. ¡°Not bad. It¡¯s sweet.¡± The sky was painted indigo and gray now, and the earthy smell of rain coated them, thick with promise. ¡°I¡¯m fucked, ain¡¯t I?¡± Wesley whispered. ¡°Wanna talk?¡± Rhys asked quietly. ¡°I¡¯ve been actively tormenting you since the day you got here. Why the interest in being my therapist?¡± Wesley had given him enough verbal jabs to break most people down completely in the short time they¡¯d been cohabiting. ¡°I¡¯m made of harder and gentler stuff than that.¡± ¡°Good for you.¡± Why not? Nothing left to lose. ¡°I was happy when I thought Gren was dead. I¡¯m such a piece of shit.¡± ¡°Ah.¡± ¡°With everything else gone, I had nothing holding me back from unleashing every ounce of my anger on Sacer. For everything they¡¯ve taken from us, for me and so many others having to watch the ones they love slowly starve to death in front of them, I could go and get my justice. I wanted it so bad.¡± He angrily wiped tears from his eyes. ¡°Damn it all. But then you and Dorothea come here wanting us all to hold hands, kiss and make up. It disgusts me.¡± ¡°Restraint mixed in with our violence is the only way. We all know that.¡± Wesley sat up, slamming his fists down. ¡°No, it¡¯s not! Gren and I could take out every single one of them! With you and Dorothea, it would be so easy! That punishment would be our right! But you all just, you had to go and¡­!¡± He put his face in his hands and released a short, agonized yell. ¡°Where is all this anger supposed to go?!¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t go anywhere, I think,¡± Rhys said after some time. ¡°Maybe we just learn to live with it. Maybe we can lock it somewhere deep down so we don¡¯t feel it anymore. Not that I know much about healing. But it stays, and we stay.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t accept something that meaningless. I¡­¡± Wesley laughed, weak and desperate. ¡°I want to kill all of them. Used to tell my buddies I¡¯d have every last one of those pigs roasting on spits. Time I was done, wouldn¡¯t be any left. Revenge was the only thing that kept me breathing. There¡¯s nothing left if I can¡¯t release this anger on the ones that did this to us.¡± ¡°What then? What¡¯s there to do after?¡± Gren had asked the same thing of Wesley all those years ago. ¡°I¡¯d know peace. That¡¯s what I¡¯ve always thought.¡± But he¡¯d never know where that dream would have led him. ¡°Am I ever gonna be okay? I can¡¯t let go of what¡¯s happened. I just can¡¯t.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll be okay. I choose to believe that we both¡­no, we all will. We¡¯ll find a new way to live on the other side. It¡¯ll take time and there¡¯ll be pain, but we¡¯ll get there.¡± Rhys nudged his arm. ¡°Besides. There¡¯s always someone there to not be okay with.¡± ¡°How¡¯d you get so smart?¡± Wesley muttered. ¡°My favorite person taught me how.¡± ¡°Dorothea,¡± Wesley snorted. ¡°You know, you¡¯ve been doing an admirable job convincing everyone you¡¯re not in love with her, but you can be honest with your old pal Wesley. You just talked to her for longer than I¡¯ve ever talked to anyone else in one sitting.¡± Rhys laughed. ¡°She¡¯s just my friend.¡± He looked thoughtful yet sad. Weary. That was the word for it, Wesley thought. ¡°When it comes to romance¡­ What does someone who genuinely loves you even look like?¡± ¡°Huh. Like I know.¡± Wesley snatched the wine back and took a long drink. ¡°Usually I have a better eye for these things. I knew Pearls and Jojo liked each other before they did.¡± Rhys sighed. ¡°They¡¯re lucky. It¡¯s outlawed in Sacer.¡± He ran a hand through his bangs. ¡°If we win, that¡¯s another thing we can change. See, that¡¯s what I¡¯ve been thinking about. What do I want to change about this world? Maybe you could think on that too. In this new world, what will you dream of?¡± He narrowed his eyes at the sky as cold drops of rain started to wash over them. ¡°Well, maybe I¡¯m done with this world. Done with this damn country,¡± Wesley sighed. Rhys laughed. ¡°Now there¡¯s a thought.¡± ¡°A useless one,¡± Wesley snorted. ¡°No one who¡¯s ever left this ass-backwards island has ever come back. The sea is a dangerous place. It¡¯s completely uncharted.¡± ¡°Well. I¡¯m pretty good with water, you know.¡± ¡°Huh. Guess you are.¡± The rain was picking up. ¡°You gonna move?¡± Rhys asked. ¡°The last thing we need is you catching a cold.¡± ¡°Thanks, Mom.¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah. Just don¡¯t fall flat on your face getting back down.¡± Rhys paused before flicking him on the forehead. ¡°And that was for what, exactly?¡± ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll help you remember.¡± ¡°Ugh. Something sentimental is coming, I feel it. Fine, lay it on me!¡± Rhys smiled. ¡°It¡¯s okay to not be okay. You¡¯re never alone.¡± Wesley didn¡¯t know why he said it in the moment, but it would change his life¡ªboth of their lives¡ª forever. ¡°Then cross the sea with me. Live up to those fancy words of yours.¡± Rhys smiled. ¡°If you start being nicer to me I¡¯ll consider it. Though that¡¯s probably too much for you.¡± ¡°Asshole.¡± Wesley took Rhys¡¯ arm to pull himself up. ¡°C¡¯mon. Be on watch with me tonight and we¡¯ll talk about what we¡¯ll do once we cross the sea.¡± ¡°Please.¡± ¡°Eh?¡± Wesley scowled when Rhys lifted his eyebrows and smiled. ¡°Ugh¡­ Pleeeasant weather we¡¯re having.¡± ¡°Close enough for now.¡± Rhys helped him back down to ground level and let Wesley sling an arm over his shoulders to help himself walk straight. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have drank so much if you were going to be on watch.¡± ¡°I occupy the perfect median between drunk and not drunk. So I¡¯ve got this. Also, you are annoyingly tall.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll carry you if it¡¯s more comfortable.¡± ¡°I¡¯d rather die.¡± Comfortable. Yeah, that was it. Wesley would never admit it, but this was the most comfortable he¡¯d felt in a long time. So instead he said, ¡°I get to name the boat, okay?¡± 44. Nightshade and Rosemary, Together As night descended the sound of voices faded away, leaving only the crackle of flame to accompany him. Gren closed his eyes, inhaling the mixed smells of smoke and a strong, bitter drink of indeterminate age. ¡°Do you want to be alone?¡± He opened his eyes to see Dorothea crouching in front of him. She¡¯d been off chatting with everyone else for at least a half hour each but had broken off and talked with Rhys for two hours before everyone had broken apart. ¡°I¡¯d appreciate your company,¡± he said quietly, ¡°if you¡¯re willing to give it.¡± Could he hold a conversation for two hours? Not with most people. With her? Definitely. She wouldn¡¯t mind having to wait for him to think sometimes. ¡°Of course.¡± She sat next to him, inching closer with a blush on her cheeks. ¡°I wanted to show this to you. Do you understand now, how¡­¡± And here came his slow piecing together of words. ¡°How our whole lives are spent in the shadow of war.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll never understand that feeling fully.¡± She put her head on his shoulder. ¡°But I can see what you wanted me to see. I appreciate you taking the time to show me.¡± ¡°Thank you too.¡± Two people could never fully understand each other. There was something to be said for the effort, though. ¡°Pearlie and Johanna left the barracks,¡± Dorothea said thoughtfully. ¡°Wonder where they went¡­¡± ¡°Privacy.¡± That was the most delicate way he could think to put it. ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°Privacy.¡± ¡°Ohhh.¡± ¡°You know, sometimes it seems like you¡¯re dense and other times it doesn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Wha¡­? I just¡ªwell that¡¯s just¡ª¡± He put his arm around her shoulders. ¡°That wasn¡¯t a criticism or an accusation. Sorry.¡± ¡°I always tried hard not to ever think about it. Because then I¡¯d sort of¡­want someone to be with,¡± she said, voice getting progressively softer. ¡°Sorry.¡± She laughed. ¡°It¡¯s fine. You know, I could have probably found a more tactful way to admit I was lonely and horny.¡± Gren sputtered out a laugh. ¡°Geez. I don¡¯t know why it¡¯s so shocking to hear you say that.¡± ¡°Well, you had a point. I shouldn¡¯t act dense. I need to be mature enough to say these things now that I¡¯m¡­in a relationship. And all.¡± She frowned. ¡°Or is it inherently more immature to think that I need to be more mature in the first place? Oh, and it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve been pretending not to understand things. There are things I get and things I don¡¯t. Like just recently when Sharkie was leaving Cerid¡¯s room and they were walking down the hallway and seemed hurt somehow, but I¡¯d just healed them? Was that actually because of¡­privacy?¡± ¡°Hurt how?¡± Gren was failing to grasp the conversation fully but enjoying himself anyhow. ¡°They were walking all weird. Like a duck, kind of.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I believe that they, too, had¡­privacy.¡± Dorothea opened her mouth, closed it, then hid behind her hands. ¡°Honestly? My original theory was that they fell out of bed and hit their tailbone.¡± ¡°That is the more unlikely version of events here.¡± She laughed, shoulders shaking. ¡°Yeah, I get that now.¡± Gren felt unsettled despite the easy mirth of the conversation. Something was moving inside him. Something greedy and too warm and a little bit lonely as well. ¡°You didn¡¯t drink at all,¡± he noted, not knowing why he said it. ¡°Well the rest of you were and I figured someone still needed to be on night watch, so I quietly volunteered myself,¡± she laughed. ¡°It¡¯ll be Wes. He never sleeps on nights like this. Trust me, we¡¯ve tried to convince him otherwise, but that¡¯s the way he is.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± She eyed the drink in his free hand. ¡°You know, the last time I was at an event like this, it was very different. Rhys and I were talking about it, and¡­ We didn¡¯t feel safe that day, but we feel safe now. Rhys looks more relaxed than I¡¯ve ever seen him. You know, the other day I saw him just sitting in a sunspot with his eyes closed. I don¡¯t think he¡¯d have ever been able to do that in Sacer.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad you both feel safe here. I really am.¡± She smiled and cuddled up to him a bit more. ¡°If I¡¯m a bad drinker, will that upset you?¡± ¡°Of course not.¡± ¡°So¡­ Can I have a sip? Though I¡¯ll probably stop there, I think.¡± He thought about it. He really thought about it. The normal thing would be to hand the bottle over to her. As if he¡¯d ever been normal. His arm drew closer around her shoulders, hand lifting her face towards his. His thumb brushed across her lower lip, then pushed between them before she had even processed that touch. She said something, or tried to, but then he was pushing at her bottom row of teeth, opening her mouth. He tilted his head. ¡°Can I?¡± The hypocrisy of asking only after he was this far hit him, and he started to pull back, apology perching on his lips. But Dorothea bit down lightly, then shivered and closed her eyes, leaning into him. Gren took a few tiny sips and held a slight pool on his tongue, letting the flavor coat and swirl. It always had such a pleasant burn on the way down his throat. He wondered how it would feel down hers. He angled his body towards hers and put the bottle down, tilting her head back with his hand pressing her cheek and the underside of her jaw. She gasped and seized his back when he edged his tongue past her lips after kissing her. He worked the liquid into her mouth with each movement of his tongue against and around hers. Her breaths came light and fast, her fingers pressing, then clawing. His mouth was empty, but he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, winding his tongue with hers and exploring her mouth. She gasped for air, and Gren pulled back. ¡°Are you¡ª¡± He cut off when Dorothea hugged him, burying her face in his neck. He nearly fell over on top of her but steadied them both with one hand on Dorothea¡¯s back and the other on the ground parallel to it. ¡°Are you okay?¡± he finished. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me, please,¡± she requested breathlessly. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡± She didn¡¯t sound upset, only embarrassed. ¡°Was that too much?¡± She squeezed him closer. ¡°No. And I¡¯m processing that.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He closed his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not as gentle or as patient as I wanted to be.¡± ¡°You can be gentle and still want me.¡± He was glad she voiced it, because he wouldn¡¯t have been able to. ¡°I don¡¯t want to let you go even for a moment. I¡¯m quite greedy, I¡¯ve realized,¡± he laughed lightly. ¡°I am too.¡± Dorothea sounded completely serious. She took a deep, shaky breath and pushed against his hand on her back until she was laying flat on the ground. ¡°I.¡± She stopped, meeting his eyes, looking away, then facing him squarely. ¡°I am too.¡± He fought to keep his voice, everything about himself, steady. ¡°Is that so.¡± Uncertainty flashed across her face, so he cupped her cheek. ¡°I¡¯m going insane,¡± he announced, ¡°in the way that¡­that many people might if in my position.¡± She tried and failed not to laugh. ¡°Is that so?¡± He had to laugh too. Of course they were also bound to be awkward and clumsy at some points. ¡°It¡¯s so.¡± He started to say something else, but Dorothea interrupted him with a smile. ¡°You can,¡± she said. ¡°Ah, so I¡¯ve already become predictable.¡± She was laughing, but then her eyes got wide. ¡°Wait, are you drunk? Then you can¡¯t, you definitely can¡¯t. We can¡¯t. I can¡¯t do that to you.¡± He petted her hair before she could get too agitated. ¡°Relax. I had one drink, a very slow one. I¡¯m not even tipsy.¡± She breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Thank you for thinking about me.¡± He paused to take in the sight of her face. ¡°I¡¯ll treat you well, okay? Always. So just tell me when you want to stop,¡± he requested. ¡°I will. You too.¡± She didn¡¯t tell him to stop when he put his tongue in her mouth again. She didn¡¯t protest when his hands roved and pressed into her flesh over her clothes, finding her sides, her back and stomach and chest. Not when he undid the ribbon at her throat and the first few buttons of her dress to kiss her neck. And a few buttons more, kisses to every inch of exposed skin. Stolen story; please report. Then he slid his hands beneath the smooth fabric of her skirts to run along her thighs. Her body gave a jerk, uneven breaths cutting into a sudden sharp silence. Gren held up his hands and caught his breath, lifting himself up on his knees. ¡°Sorry, I¡­¡± He faltered to properly assess her reaction. She was blushing furiously, a hand pressed to her warm cheek as she looked off to the side, knees pressed together and body quivering like she was melting. Wordlessly, she pointed towards their room. ¡°Ah.¡± He pulled her to her feet, looping his arm with hers and keeping ahold of her hand. They both walked on unsteady legs, and then the door was shut behind them. Dorothea unlaced her boots and put them in the corner of the room, nice and neat. She sat on the bed and tucked her skirts primly beneath her. Gren shrugged out of his boots and jacket and knelt in front of her. ¡°This is all new to me,¡± she said in a small voice. ¡°Feeling it with someone, together, is different.¡± ¡°It is,¡± Gren agreed. ¡°Are you scared?¡± He was pretty sure he¡¯d read that feeling in her correctly back there, and it nagged at him. She nodded. ¡°I like being touched by you. It all felt good. But when you touched my legs I just¡­¡± She waved her hands around as she rummaged for words. ¡°It became real. What it means to be someone¡¯s lover.¡± Her hands went to her hair and started braiding. ¡°I want to. But what¡¯s too soon? No one ever taught me, or you either I guess, about any of this. And how do you know if you¡¯re doing a good job, I mean, and my body, I¡¯ve never really lacked confidence over it before but I worry, of course I worry about things like that, it¡¯s a big deal to unveil myself to someone I should think. And I see you trying not to laugh!¡± ¡°It¡¯s because you¡¯re cute. Unveiling yourself,¡± he said, then laughed his heart out. She pushed at his chest playfully, and he caught her hand, pressing it over his heart. ¡°And you kind of said a lot of what I was thinking too.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± She grinned. ¡°I should have guessed. We¡¯re pretty much in the same boat, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± He looked down at her hand and grasped its warmth more firmly. ¡°I¡¯m too thin. Way too bony. I don¡¯t know about taking my clothes off in front of you either. And I have no idea how I¡¯m supposed to move or make you feel good. Also, I¡¯m uneducated. I¡¯m scared to read outside because I worry that someone might ask me to read aloud and figure out how slow I have to go to unjumble the words. Numbers and letters confuse me a lot. I don¡¯t have a home or any assets to speak of. Nothing to offer but myself. But since you seem to like me anyways, I guess¡­¡± He trailed off because she swooped in to kiss him. ¡°Yes,¡± she said. ¡°I like you a lot.¡± He ran his hand over the large braid she¡¯d made and went about gently unwinding it. ¡°Don¡¯t underestimate how much it means that I can say these things to you.¡± ¡°Likewise.¡± Her hand ran down from his chest to his stomach. ¡°I¡­¡± She cleared her throat and licked her lips nervously. ¡°I want to see you. May I?¡± ¡°Mm.¡± He stripped out of his shirt with the same rushed precision he¡¯d used several times before to sew his own wounds closed. Resisting the urge to cross his arms over himself, he raised his eyebrows and looked at her. ¡°See? There.¡± That furious blush was back. ¡°I think you¡¯re pretty, you know. I think you¡¯re beautiful.¡± She reached out, tentative. ¡°Can I touch your hair?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± He couldn¡¯t really refuse given how much he had taken to messing with hers. ¡°It¡¯s not like yours though. It¡¯s rough.¡± She¡¯d clearly experienced better cosmetics in Sirpo and Sacer than they had hope of making in Ghuria. Her hair was softer, her skin more smooth and clear than any of theirs. What they used was good enough to get the job done, but the day they¡¯d met and Gren had offered her that knife it had struck him while doing so that she smelled like flowers and looked just as beautiful as an illustration. She untied his hair and smoothed it with a soothing smile, gently running her fingers through. After a small contented sound, she edged in closer to press her chest to his and her cheek to his hair. Gren stretched his legs on either side of her to make room. Her hands were moving on his back. Over his shoulder blades, up and down his spine. It gave him shivers; he understood why she shivered now too. Every place she touched felt electrified, alive. His blood was rushing. To get her skirt off, all he needed to do was undo the ribbon at her back that tightened it beneath her chest and then pull the suspenders down to just slide it off her. The ribbon was undone with a few quick tugs. Dorothea¡¯s hands stilled, then she leaned back and put them in her lap. Gren pushed the straps down her shoulders and guided the skirt down to her waist. Her undershirt fit her perfectly, the buttons not stretching at her chest but still fitting well on her sides. He fumbled a bit in haste to get all those buttons undone. ¡°I think shirts like this are so cute, but if I don¡¯t make my own clothes sometimes then what fits my chest doesn¡¯t fit my waist,¡± she rambled as he did so. ¡°But in a way it¡¯s good since I can make it as frilly as I want¡­¡± ¡°I can sew too. Sort of. I¡¯d like to use it for something useful like you do.¡± He tossed that carefully-made shirt to the side and eased her onto her back so she could kick her skirt off. ¡°Y-Yeah?¡± She studied his forearms and torso, where the quick patches he¡¯d done on himself showed in puckered scars, all mixed in among the rest. ¡°I¡¯ll teach you. We can make you a new jacket.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± Yeah, some stains just wouldn¡¯t wash out. ¡°And a new scarf.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t want one. The one I wear was my dad¡¯s.¡± ¡°I see..¡± She put her hand to one of his cheeks and kissed the other. ¡°Then I¡¯ll patch it up. Carefully, with your permission.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Unhooking her bra was easy, but she held it fast to herself. ¡°Not comfortable?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just, well, we¡¯re really doing this, huh?¡± ¡°If you want to.¡± He layed on his back at her side in an attempt to take some of the pressure off. ¡°Or we can just lay here and talk.¡± ¡°You really mean that, don¡¯t you?¡± She smiled at him with adoration. ¡°Of course I do. I wouldn¡¯t say it if not.¡± Dorothea pulled the blankets over herself and rolled over on her side, facing him. "There are so many things I want to do with you." Contextually, that was just¡­ Gren could sense it though. The mood was waning. Dorothea continued. "I want to cook your favorite foods, go see flowers together, drink tea and watch the sky and cuddle¡­ I want to have that sort of mundane life with you." She chuckled. "Maybe that just sounds boring." "It sounds perfect." He''d bring her flowers every day if that would make her even the slightest bit happier. She smiled, blushing, and hugged his arm. "Thank you." Then she frowned and hid it by putting her forehead on his shoulder. ¡°I can¡¯t¡­do any more than this. I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°Are you scared?¡± Gren asked again. ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m trying not to be, but¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯ll wait for the day when your answer to that question becomes no. That¡¯s all. And until then¡­¡± He hugged her over the blankets. ¡°This is good. This is perfect too.¡± Her body relaxed; his attempt at comforting her worked. After several minutes she mumbled, ¡°I want my clothes back on, please.¡± ¡°Mm.¡± And they needed to take a trip to the bathrooms to clean up anyways. When they were both comfortable and snuggled back up in a curve together, Dorothea commented, ¡°I just realized it¡¯s been one day for us. This is only the first day, and we almost¡­ Goodness.¡± ¡°Pent up,¡± Gren said with a yawn. She laughed. ¡°I suppose.¡± They chatted for a while, mostly about the future. Soon Gren was listening to the sound of her breathing as she slept. Today, he thought, had been amazing. It was the way he wanted every day from now on to be. Packed to the brim with experiences for better or worse as long as it was all with her. Of course, part of his role now was to fight so that happiness outweighed everything else. Oh, Dorothea. His ethereal, ephemeral girl. ¡°I¡¯ll make you the most joyful person,¡± he whispered to bring it into the world and make it true. ¡°I¡¯ll fight for that, no matter what.¡± Soon his time of fighting for everyone would be over. This country would be reshaped, and then he could release his role in it and think about living a selfish existence. With more thoughts of what that future might look like, he drifted off to sleep himself. Still, after such a peaceful night, he was once again woken by someone calling his name, shaking him. ¡°Pwah!¡± he cried out as he jerked out of another nightmare to meet a gently blooming sunrise. ¡°What is it, what is it?¡± In the time he finished speaking, Dorothea had raced across the room and stripped, hurling herself into her day clothes. Once Gren heard shouting from outside, he did the same. Whatever Wes had found on his watch, he apparently didn¡¯t find it agreeable. Dorothea was barely finished doing her buttons before she rushed outside. Gren threw his scarf around his neck and followed on her heels, grabbing his hair tie at the last second. Dorothea sucked in a breath and then sprinted away from him. ¡°Shark!¡± she yelled. ¡°Wesley, back off, back off!¡± Ariana Kingfisher and Dorothea''s friend stood on the outskirts of the settlement, the former dripping blood from her hand and the latter engaged in a shouting match with Wesley. If they¡¯d come, then something had gone very wrong in Sacer. ¡°Wes,¡± Gren said in the mild, unemotional tone that others seemed to find dangerous, and everyone went silent. ¡°I know you have no personal reason to trust them, but we¡¯re going to hear them out.¡± ¡°Fine, but if either of them makes a wrong move¡­¡± ¡°Understood.¡± Before Gren could address the Sacerians, Pearlie shot outside from her and Johanna¡¯s room, nearly tripping over herself on her way to throw her arms around her sister¡¯s neck. ¡°Ana! I¡¯m sorry, I¡­! You¡¯re back!¡± Ariana held her back and awkwardly tried not to get blood on her while looking at Dorothea. ¡°Things didn¡¯t go to plan.¡± ¡°Sharkie!¡± Dorothea caught them as they lurched towards her on weak legs. ¡°Cerid¡­ Cerid, he¡¯s been¡­¡± They looked scared and breakable as they clung to her. ¡°Thea, we¡¯ve gotta help him. Please.¡± Gren thought as fast as he could in the time it took for him to put his hair up. His magic was no help in a sneak attack, and that was the best was to go about it. None of the Ghurians¡¯ magics were suitable. Dorothea could maybe get them there the same way she had with just the two of them before, but could she handle it? Alternatives¡­ He met Shark¡¯s panicked, weary eyes. ¡°You¡¯ll get us into the city. Pearlie, send scouts and give us the current movements of the army so we can know how to split up. Have them find Cerid Creed as well, and be sure to keep communicating with them throughout everything. Direct your other friends as you see fit.¡± ¡°They¡¯ll put their lives on the line for us if I ask¡­ So I will, but only because I have to.¡± Pearlie let out a sharp whistle and was soon surrounded by birds she chattered with quickly. ¡°Johanna. Bring every weapon type you have. I¡¯ll need some nullifying power myself.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± Johanna jogged back to her room and came back with her usual blowguns along with a bow and a full quiver, her own knives to strap to her thighs and waist, and as many vials of the ace she crafted with her magic as she could carry. ¡°Wes.¡± He was already grinning and cracking his knuckles. ¡°It¡¯s time. It¡¯s finally time, isn¡¯t it?¡± Gren shared a glance with Dorothea, and she nodded. ¡°Once we show ourselves, we¡¯ll be up against every soldier left in Sacer. The others from different locations will rush to our location to try to cut us down while they can. That said¡­¡± He met that bright, starved gaze of Wesley¡¯s. ¡°Be reasonable with the innocents. But now isn¡¯t a time to hold back. The odds are against us.¡± Wesley¡¯s voice was soft; he was almost shaking with excitement. ¡°Oh yes.¡± ¡°Rhys.¡± ¡°I know.¡± His hands were loose at his sides, and his eyes were clear. ¡°Whatever it takes. I¡¯m with you both.¡± He dipped his head to Gren and Dorothea. ¡°Thank you, friends.¡± Gren got his respect and gratefulness across as quickly as he could. ¡°Dorothea?¡± ¡°Ready for anything.¡± She reflected the same sense of careful calm Rhys held. Gren leaned over to give her a quick kiss on impulse. ¡°Take care of yourself out there.¡± Cheeks red, she ignored the varying reactions all present had to the exchange. ¡°You too.¡± ¡°Shark, Ariana, explain your side on the way. Pearlie¡¯s scouts will report, and we¡¯ll have a plan of attack by the time we get there.¡± He paused. His gut feeling¡­ Somehow he felt as if they were heading into terrible, terrible danger. ¡°Let¡¯s go, everyone. Give it your all.¡± The ragtag Ghurian army all rushed to face the inciting incident that would lead to the final battle of the War of Wither, that very day. 45. Azaleas Darkness ¡°Will you be okay?¡± Shark asked, frowning. Ariana also looked concerned, which let Cerid know he really did have a lot to worry about. ¡°It will be fine. If either of you comes with me, my father will surely find a way to steer the conversation from where it needs to go.¡± He managed a small smile. ¡°I shall do my best.¡± The three of them were sitting on the creaking front porch of Ariana¡¯s house, the relative coolness of night transitioning into muggy heat as dawn crept in. After yesterday¡¯s battle, they had little choice but to aim for Cerid replacing Iree as commander to stall the army¡¯s movements. Most of the night had been spent trying to figure out how to do that. Now, Cinder had called Cerid in for an emergency meeting. All he knew was that he somehow had to use this opportunity to take Iree down. Not just her. His father too. Cerid had worked so hard all this time to meet Cinder¡¯s expectations. He¡¯d aimed to be the perfect son and heir so he could liberate Sacerians like him from the shackles of convention. Now that his world and goals had changed, his relationship with his father was irreparable. Cinder Creed had done the unconscionable in orchestrating the epidemic. He was the enemy. It was now the responsibility of Cinder¡¯s child to make things right. ¡°I must go.¡± He¡¯d had time to grab an hour of sleep on Shark¡¯s lap that only made him feel more tired, and it would have to do. Cinder would be settling into his study right about now. ¡°We¡¯ll wait right here for you,¡± Shark reassured him. ¡°My arms¡¯ll be open and waiting, love.¡± Ariana offered a slight smile. ¡°You can do this.¡± ¡°Thank you¡­ Truly.¡± He embraced them both and gave Shark a quick kiss before going on his way, shoulders back and mind clear. He made it to his father¡¯s study and rapped on the door, keeping himself in a state of calm concentration and determined focus. Cinder and Iree were both waiting for him, the commander sitting on the corner of his desk and waving her legs playfully. It did a number on Cerid¡¯s nerves to see her so confident. ¡°You called for me, Father, and here I am,¡± he said. ¡°What do you need?¡± Cinder didn¡¯t dance around anything. ¡°Tell me honestly, son. Are you symathizing with the enemy?¡± He forced his expression to be untroubled. ¡°Of course not. What gave you that impression?¡± Cinder gravely closed his eyes for a moment. ¡°I see.¡± When he opened them, there was something new flickering there. It was grief, but a cold kind, one that shut everything out with an underlying rage. Cerid took a step back at the sight, unable to stop himself. ¡°Father? Are you well?¡± ¡°Cerid. My son.¡± Cinder gazed at him, and Cerid felt both love and ruthless dissection crushing him. People had always told him he was the spitting image of his father when he was younger. He didn¡¯t know why that occurred to him now. Cinder looked at Iree. She had crossed her legs now and was leaning back with her hands splayed on the desk behind her, completely relaxed and wearing a triumphant smile. ¡°Told you so,¡± she said with a soft laugh. ¡°Yes.¡± Cinder smiled, but the reason was unreadable. ¡°Cerid. I¡¯m sorry to say that you¡¯ve failed the test.¡± ¡°What?¡± So they were playing with him? Just as they always had, laughing behind his back as he unwittingly carried out their warped aims. More than anything now, Cerid was¡­ He was utterly infuriated. Cinder chuckled. ¡°You are a terrible liar, Cerid. Everything you have ever tried to hide, I¡¯ve been able to see through to it with ease. Miss Nobelis here advised me well when when she said to confront you and watch for two things: your expression and your tone. Now, Cerid¡­ How do you think a loyal soldier would react when they were accused of treason?¡± ¡°I just showed you that,¡± Cerid insisted calmly. ¡°See? There. Your face didn¡¯t change. Your tone was almost flat. Cerid¡­¡± Cinder chuckled again. ¡°If you were intending to go against me, you should have worked on your acting skills.¡± They were mocking him yet again. He knew the risks, but Cerid just couldn¡¯t hold it together anymore. Everything Cinder and Iree had done, the way he and so many others had been manipulated and overlooked¡­ He couldn¡¯t tolerate being looked down on by these horrid people anymore. ¡°I am sympathizing with the people you engaged with Sharee Nobelis to senselessly kill,¡± he stated icily. ¡°And what will you do about it? Kill me like you killed my mother, my brothers and sisters, you damned monster?¡± For the first time in his life, Cerid saw shock on his father¡¯s face. But it settled quickly, leaving him with the sickening sense that no matter what happened here, he would never be the one in control. ¡°How long have you known? And how at all, for that matter?¡± ¡°That is none of your concern.¡± Cerid swallowed down his anger and sadness. ¡°The lives you have taken deserve recognition.¡± ¡°You¡¯re too soft, Cerid,¡± Cinder commented. ¡°Always have been.¡± A corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. ¡°But you¡¯re here lecturing me when you¡¯re just as shortsighted.¡± ¡°Do not try to turn this on me,¡± Cerid snapped. ¡°I will never allow you or anyone else to goad me into believing I must hurt others to live authentically, not ever again.¡± ¡°You wanted to know why¡­¡± Cinder wore a faint smile as he reflected on his actions. ¡°My desires were and are the same as yours. I wanted things to change.¡± ¡°There are other ways!¡± ¡°Stop pretending you¡¯re so righteous and worldly.¡± Cinder sighed as he stood and approached to put a hand on Cerid¡¯s shoulder; he flinched and found his feet rooted. ¡°Miss Nobelis, give us a moment alone.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Whatever you say.¡± Cerid would feel her smile sticking to his back as she left. Cinder continued. ¡°When I looked towards the future, all I saw was more war. Someday, my legacy would fade just like all other Creeds before me, generations having led this nation into either conflict or a temporary, weak peace. What does it matter to win one victory when the pattern will repeat itself until the end of time?¡± His eyes flashed with conviction, and Cerid felt all the strength leave his body. What was he supposed to do with this? How could he end this without sinking down to the level of those who could only seem to commit to change through bloodshed? And his father was right, after all. He was in no place to judge. Maybe he wasn¡¯t the right person to change the world either. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. ¡°When Sharee Nobelis came to me, I took the opportunity. That¡¯s what designates a true leader, Cerid. Someone who is willing to create and take opportunity as it stands before them.¡± Both of his hands were squeezing Cerid¡¯s shoulders, and the grip got tighter, harsher. ¡°In order to safeguard Sacer¡¯s future, I was willing to make the necessary sacrifices.¡± He paused, gazing at Cerid again. Memorizing him as if it would be the last time. One of Cinder¡¯s hands cupped the side of Cerid¡¯s head in an almost tender gesture. His other hand came up in a fist, and Cerid could perfectly visualize the blow that would come within the very next second, a punch to the other side of his head to crush his skull. His father was about to kill him, all for his ambitions. Because they both knew that Cerid would no longer let those ambitions stand, because Cerid¡­ He had ambitions of his own, and he couldn¡¯t die here. Yes. No matter what it took, there were people he still wanted to stand beside, and there was a world he wanted to try helping to make. No matter what kind of person he was now, had been, or would be, he would seize that. So his body unfroze, and as his father¡¯s killing blow swung towards him, he leaped back, ducked onto one knee and, in one smooth motion, threw a punch to shatter Cinder¡¯s knee. Then he stood and stomped on the other. Cinder¡¯s screams resounded in his head like an alarm. Sacer¡¯s leader fell back with a crash, sending papers fluttering to the floor. Cerid could have stopped there. The thought distinctly occurred to him. He could have stopped. But he didn¡¯t. He straddled his father and seized his neck, choking off the screams. Bone crunched under his fist as he hit Cinder in his face, breaking his nose. Cinder coughed and spat up teeth, writhing the desperate writhe of a trapped man who knew he was about to die. ¡°You¡¯re no different from us!¡± Cinder howled his last words. His skull caved in to pierce his brain with the next and final blow. Cerid trembled against the adrenaline and anguish pumping through his body. His knuckles were split, hands covered with the mixed blood of father and son. He stood only to fall to his knees after taking a few steps back. ¡°I know, Father,¡± he whispered. Soft light from the polished windows gave Cinder''s still, battered body an heavenly glow. Shouting from outside. The door to the office flew open, and Iree, Cerid¡¯s stepmother and Calla were there. ¡°Cerid¡­¡± Iree sounded horrified, but she wore a smile as her back was to the others. ¡°How could you? I heard what you were saying to your father, but this¡­¡± Whatever story she¡¯d spun, his family clearly believed it. Why wouldn¡¯t they when faced with this scene? And had Iree and Cinder planned this, or was Iree just taking the opportunity like Cinder had said? Regardless, maybe that was why people like her won and were able to use people like him. Life was probably easier when you didn¡¯t care who you trampled. But he¡¯d done the same. He could call it self-defense, but couldn¡¯t he have dodged or run away? The door was right there. Hadn¡¯t a part of him taken the chance to rid the world of his father and his twisted ideals when it presented itself? Everything¡­ The world was blurring. Iree had grabbed ahold of him, pinning his arms behind his back. Heat from her palms that blistered his skin warned him of what would happen if he tried to escape. Not that he was sure his limbs would carry him if he tried. You¡¯re no different from us. His stepmother was sobbing while trying to calm a screeching Calla. Iree leaned forward from behind him to whisper in his ear while they gathered around Cinder and wailed out their grief. ¡°You¡¯re off to the Catacombs. I¡¯ll deliver the news of Olyen and Kingfisher¡¯s deaths to you soon.¡± ¡°When did you¡­?¡± Meaning when had she figured out the three¡¯s alliance, especially Ariana¡¯s involvement? ¡°Yesterday showed me everything I needed to know. Seriously, it¡¯s hilarious when idiots like you think you''re being sly.¡± Iree laughed as she led him away. ¡°I¡¯m nothing if not adaptable, Creed. You should¡¯ve thought it through before standing against forces much higher than you. Damn. You had a cushy life waiting for you if you¡¯d just stayed the course.¡± She chuckled. ¡°Too bad.¡± She was going to make him watch as everything he loved, everything he¡¯d hoped for, was annihilated. With Ghuria¡¯s sparse forces and her internal opposition rooted out before it could even properly begin¡­ She¡¯d won, hadn''t she? ¡°Run, Shark, Ariana¡­ Please¡­¡± Cerid whispered to the cold stone walls of the Catacombs. * Ariana felt the trouble coming seconds before she heard it. Shark stared at her as she leaped up and unsheathed a blade, and then her door was knocked from its hinges as two soldiers barrelled into her home. One of them started to speak but fell short with a squeak when his throat was centimeters away from being skewered. ¡°Let me guess. I¡¯m under arrest?¡± she drawled. The soldier nodded, their companion tied up as a spike of earth from a potted plant shot up to nearly pierce the underside of their jaw. ¡°On what charges?¡± ¡°T-Treason¡­¡± ¡°On whose authority?¡± ¡°Commander Iree Nobelis.¡± Dread sank into Ariana¡¯s gut. If Iree had managed to set all this in motion¡­ Shark realized it too. ¡°Where¡¯s Cerid?¡± they demanded. ¡°I¡¯ll have you know that your home is surrounded, Miss Kingfisher,¡± the other intruder explained. ¡°Cerid Creed has been arrested for the murder of Cinder Creed, and the two of you are to come with us for questioning.¡± ¡°Thanks for the info, and the warning.¡± Ariana flicked her wrist to slit both their throats. ¡°Please. We¡¯d be as good as dead the second we went with them.¡± She shook herself and ordered, ¡°Shark, make a bridge from here to the top of the fort wall, then another to the bottom from there for us to escape. With luck no one will pursue, but we need to get out of here right now.¡± ¡°No.¡± They were trembling. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving him here to suffer alone at her hands. You can turn tail if you want, but you¡¯ll be doing it alone.¡± ¡°Shark. Listen to me.¡± She sheathed her weapon and put her bloodied hand to their cheek to make them look at her. ¡°I¡¯m saying that you overcome with emotion and me with one arm are not enough to save him.¡± She hesitated. ¡°Cerid gave me a chance. So I¡¯m telling you as someone who hopes to truly be his friend that we are not abandoning him. We¡¯re going to go get help, and then we¡¯re going to save him and take Iree¡¯s head for everything she¡¯s done, pacifism be damned.¡± Shark¡¯s breathing calmed, and their eyes and heart opened up to her at the same time. ¡°Okay¡­ I hear you.¡± They closed their eyes for a brief moment, nodded and whispered, ¡°Thank you.¡± Then they grabbed onto her waist, holding her steady. ¡°This is gonna be a bumpy ride.¡± ¡°Oh please, be gentle with me,¡± Ariana said dryly. Shark wasn¡¯t in the mood to be amused. ¡°Save that energy for what¡¯ll come.¡± * After Gren Fall had issued directives, Ariana was ready for action, especially after Dorothea healed her arm. ¡°Let¡¯s go, everyone,¡± Ghuria¡¯s leader said. Ariana held up a finger. ¡°One last thing before we go. Cerid had an idea right after the three of us joined together. It was a last resort, I guess. The fort¡­ No, all of Sacer is gonna be in chaos. I¡¯ll tell you all about it on the way, but know we¡¯re in for a total shitshow.¡± ¡°As if it wouldn¡¯t be in the first place,¡± Shark muttered. Pearlie held on to her sister¡¯s arm like she¡¯d disappear if released. ¡°I¡¯ll watch your back, Ana.¡± Johanna yawned. ¡°Think of it as sisterly bonding between you and me, hm?¡± she said with a lazy smile at Ariana. ¡°That''s all appreciated, but the crazy one¡¯s right,¡± Ariana said with a wave towards Wesley. ¡°Iree and her subordinates will be out for blood, no questions asked. We won¡¯t survive without responding in kind.¡± She looked at Dorothea. ¡°But it seems like everyone already understands that.¡± Dorothea gave her a small smile. ¡°Ariana, Shark¡­ We¡¯ve all come this far, haven¡¯t we?¡± ¡°Damn straight.¡± Shark looked focused now, fury blazing just beneath the skin. ¡°Now. Let¡¯s go get my man.¡± 46. Marigolds Laughter No sooner was Iree granted permission by the council to do as she pleased in light of recent events that Cerid, Shark and Ariana¡¯s final gambit came back to let her know that simply because they had been beaten down time and time again didn¡¯t mean they would ever let themselves be defeated. She was envisioning how the army would seamlessly mobilize under her direction to squash the rats for good, with every able-bodied person in Sacer mobilizing in a state of emergency, their patriotism galvanized by the tragic loss of their great leader, when the council room doors burst open. ¡°Cinder!¡± The messenger paled, remembering that the person that had always been looked to by the nation for calm control was gone as of that same morning. ¡°I mean, council¡­¡± A packet of papers was clutched in their hand, and they stumbled towards where the council was seated. ¡°A big problem, a huge problem,¡± they babbled. ¡°These have been distributed throughout the entire fort. There¡¯s outrage, rioting¡­ Please. We need direction.¡± The council members looked at each other warily to see who would take responsibility. Iree stormed forward and snatched it away. A complication was the last thing she needed, and she was ready to burn whoever was responsible to a crisp. Her boiling rage froze over as she took the words in. On the front page was a simple declaration: ¡°This war is not what it seems. See the proof below and consider where your conscience takes you.¡± And below that line was a copy, word for word, of her mother¡¯s letter to her. The very same letter that implicated Cinder and Sharee in planning this war. That by itself didn¡¯t scare her as much as the back page. There was some wiggle room for deniability in only showing the letter. Anyone could have fabricated it. But the back page held signed testimony from Cadby Creed, a respected former leader. Everything he had seen and heard from Sharee and Cinder back then and from Cinder and Iree ever since. And after that was a letter addressed to all of Sacer from Cerid Creed. Good day all. If you are reading this, then our land is at a crossroads. My name is Cerid Creed. As a child of Sacer, I grew up believing in what our nation stands for. We have cultivated our military might and trained ourselves to believe in protecting that strength at all costs. That is in part by being sure to despise our enemies to the point of denying their humanity. With the revelations in previous pages, I truly hope you can see that this way of living is no longer sustainable or just. Change is necessary for the future. Indeed, the idea of change is what spurred my father and Sharee Nobelis in the first place. I will not pretend to be better. In the hopes of changing Sacer¡¯s marriage laws, I was not so long ago determined to destroy Ghuria. The love of my life is not a woman, and in my desperation I saw fit to stoop as low as I needed to in order to create a beter world for us and people like us. Even so, we have both since learned that creating such a legacy for the sake of our goals is not acceptable. No one deserves to feel unwanted in their own homeland. No one deserves to be denied or for their spirit to be crushed in such a way. To reclaim our spirits over the corpses of the innocent, however, is not the way. It is the easier way in the moment, perhaps, but never the right way. So I offer an alternative. Whoever you are, whatever your pain. If you are like me, or wish for a home you can be proud of, or if you simply disagree with the methods that brought us to this point, I can only ask that you reconsider what kind of life you wish to lead and what kind of person you wish to be, particularly in your relation to others. Will this world be ruled by wanton hate, or might we try to save who we can? If it had come to you reading this, then I am no longer able to seize a position of leadership to change these things as I was attempting to. I may soon be dead, and my few allies will have scattered if they are still alive. You may leave Sacer. My private correspondence with Sirpo¡¯s council has them prepared to take in anyone who wishes to create a new life. I will not pretend this is a perfect solution. Uprooting one¡¯s life is difficult. I would dare to say that living gruesome lies is far worse than having to start over. Stronger people than I have chosen that path and flourished through each obstacle. It is the option that will allow freedom and peace in a way that may soon become impossible here. Or maybe you wish to fight, whether against the ones who would allow this war to continue or against those who would wish for peace to come with Ghuria still standing. I love my homeland. I love its people, and I wanted to create a land where everyone could be happy and free. I once more beg you to look into yourselves and question the roots of your hatred. This is what truly determines what kind of future we are able to create. Please take care of yourselves and each other. Be as kind as you can, even to your enemies. For once, that is worth trying. With best wishes and earnest hope, Cerid Cadence Creed Iree saw it for the useless, wheedling plea it was. Still, with the weight of what Cinder and Sharee had done, people would be much more likely to consider it. A council member approached to take the papers from her, and the group huddled to examine all at once. They all kept looking at her in shock throughout, and Iree tried to fabricate an explanation in the short time it took them to read. Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Another messenger entering the room bought her a few more seconds. ¡°Cadby Creed was just seen departing the fort on horseback with a large parcel. It¡¯s likely more of these leaflets. He¡¯s being pursued, but some of the fort guard is refusing to act until the matter is resolved. A few soldiers even went with him as allies. What do we do?¡± One of the council members spoke up in a quiet, scared voice. ¡°Commander. Did you know about this?¡± Lying came naturally. ¡°Of course not! My mother¡­ She would never do something like this!¡± Her fake tears and grief-stricken voice convinced some, but others still eyed her with suspicion. She could see them piecing it together. So this was why her promotion to commander had lined up so neatly with the events of five years ago. This was why Cinder had always made sure Iree got leeway. ¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking,¡± Iree said. ¡°Cinder probably promoted me and did everything he did because he felt sorry for me. He was complicit in my mother¡¯s death, after all. Regardless, this matter warrants an investigation. We can decide everyone¡¯s guilt or lack thereof after due process.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t that apply to Cerid Creed as well, then?¡± a familiar voice interjected. Iree¡¯s mouth fell open, and a ringing in her ears almost washed everything else away. Rhys was strolling into the room with his hands in his pockets. It felt just like old times, the sight of a mousy boy trailing towards her with an unhurried pace. Yet so different. So different was the look in his eyes, only steel and decision. Everyone else was also too shocked to react, so he kept talking. ¡°I bet you were awfully quick to cement your own version of the story and lock Cerid up before he could say a single thing in his own defense. Given the information in Cerid¡¯s letter, isn¡¯t it plausible that Cerid acted in self-defense and it was Iree here who took advantage of the situation to get him out of the way? Right, esteemed council?¡± ¡°As if we would let the word of a traitor influence us!¡± Iree retorted. ¡°We¡¯re far above that.¡± More importantly, how had he even gotten into the fort? She noticed flecks of dirt in his hair. Had to be they¡¯d come from underground with Olyen¡¯s magic, which meant the rats could be anywhere in the fort adding to the havoc Cerid¡¯s stupid letter was already causing. ¡°Drop the act, Iree,¡± Rhys said quietly. ¡°It¡¯s over.¡± He withdrew both hands from his pockets. ¡°Everyone knows what you¡¯ve done. What Sharee did.¡± A chuckle escaped Iree, and then she was grinning, and then she was clutching her stomach in throes of deep, almost wailing laughter. She¡¯d known it was over the moment Atlin and Rhys escaped, really. Just hadn¡¯t wanted to admit it. But it meant Kingfisher had turned against her. Which meant that Creed and Olyen, who had less loyalty to her than Kingfisher and Rhys ever had and were still turned by Atlin, would surely turn against her as well. But she had to admit to truth to herself. She¡¯d had to. Because there was one thing she had to do no matter the cost. She had to kill Dorothea Atlin. Iree could no longer give her mother the victory she¡¯d died for. What she could give her, though, was the death of the person primarily responsible for making that victory impossible. So it was decided. She had launched an attack on Ghuria she knew wouldn¡¯t have good results to weed out Kinfisher, Creed and Olyen so that she could goad Cinder and Cerid into a confrontation over the fool son¡¯s disloyalty. Of course Cinder had been in on it. She wouldn¡¯t have been able to accomplish this on her own. It was his idea, actually. They both coped with their impending loss in different ways. It was always just a matter of time until the Ghurians stopped deciding to show mercy simply because Iree never would. And Iree didn¡¯t mind rushing that if it meant she could lure them all into a trap. Cinder died, so she contained Cerid. He was the bait. The enemy arrived as expected, righteous and resolved, and everything fell into place. Damn, it was funny. Damn. It was really over, wasn¡¯t it? At least it would be on her terms, as was just. She could hardly breathe through her laughter. ¡°Oh, come on, Rhys,¡± she giggled. ¡°You really thought I wouldn¡¯t be prepared?¡± He narrowed his eyes, and the same time an arrow of water shot across the room in an attack aimed straight at her heart, a cacophonous orchestra of explosions shook the room. They came from outside, both near and far, and from inside the building as well. Iree sidestepped the attack as Rhys looked around in a panic. ¡°Oh my, is Cerid¡¯s little niece still upstairs? Might want to go help her while you still can.¡± The acrid scent of smoke was already starting to wash over them, the internal structure of the building wailing. The council fled from the room, most rushing out the front door while one dashed up the stairs after hearing Iree¡¯s threat towards Calla. Rhys didn¡¯t move beyond waving his hand and trapping her in a maze of water. This time, she knew, he wouldn¡¯t drop the attack. ¡°I don¡¯t know why I ever expected better from you, Iree.¡± Even as he said that, he looked utterly defeated. ¡°I read the letter. Dorothea showed me.¡± He smiled, and she realized for the first time that he had been heartbroken for years and she¡¯d chosen not to see it. Even now, she had no clue whatsoever as to what might have caused it. ¡°If I¡¯d never done what I did that day, maybe Sharee never would have approached Cinder. Maybe you wouldn¡¯t have become what you did. Or maybe you would have. I don¡¯t know if people are born evil or not. But I did an unspeakable thing, and you did several unspeakable things.¡± He laughed quietly. ¡°Don¡¯t you get it, Iree? Don¡¯t you understand why Sharee did all of this?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have the right to talk about her anymore.¡± He shook his head hopelessly. ¡°You are the exact kind of monster she wanted to prevent, Iree. She did it so we wouldn¡¯t follow the violent path we were put on from the moment we were born. But you never saw that, did you? You just saw your own loss and anger.¡± He took a few steps closer. ¡°She¡¯d be ashamed of you. She¡¯d hate you and sob and scream at you for what you¡¯ve done. You¡¯re the one that¡¯s been spitting in the face of what she tried to do, not honoring her. Do you get it? Iree¡¯s eyes were blurry from the smoke, nothing else. ¡°My mother did nothing wrong,¡± she said simply. ¡°Neither did I. And the person who stole away my chance to honor her will die. There¡¯s no way Atlin will be able to sit by and let this stand. She¡¯ll lose all she¡¯s got left healing both Sacer and Ghuria. So I win. We win, mother.¡± That was good enough for her. Her life¡¯s mission was accomplished. Rhys dropped his hands, leaving an empty gulf between them. For what felt like forever, neither of them moved. ¡°Never mind,¡± Rhys finally said in a soft, broken voice. ¡°I never would have gotten closure from you anyways.¡± She never understood what he meant, because she died seconds later. 47. Rosemarys Path Shark had tunneled them all safely into the city, as Gren had suggested. Rhys would go to the Creed home to confront and subdue Iree and the council. Dorothea and Shark would go free Cerid while Gren, Wesley, Johanna, Pearlie and Ariana made their way through the city paving the way for the entire group to reunite at Rhys¡¯ destination. Dorothea and Shark met little resistance on their flight to the Catacombs. The guard on the top floor simply sighed and tossed the keys over when they walked in. ¡°Screw this war. Not worth dying today,¡± they muttered, walking past but pausing to put a hand on Shark¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Good luck. To both of you.¡± Shark smiled once they¡¯d left. ¡°That obvious I¡¯m the one Cerid¡¯s talking about in his letter to Sacer, huh¡­¡± ¡°Seems so.¡± Dorothea squeezed their hand before the two of them raced down the stairs. Cerid scrambled to stand, clutching the bars of his cell with a wild look in his eyes as soon as he caught sight of them. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± he demanded. ¡°Iree. Where is Iree?¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, love,¡± Shark reassured while fumbling with the lock. ¡°Listen!¡± Cerid nearly screamed. ¡°Iree, is anyone confronting her at this moment?¡± He shook himself. ¡°No, no, it¡¯s of no matter¡­ The two of you must leave, now! Leave me here and run, go outside and take shelter! Go outside the fort, now! ¡°Cerid, what¡¯s¡­¡± Dorothea looked at something on the floor of the cell then, following his frantic gaze to it. One of Iree¡¯s seeds, ready to send them to oblivion. Shark hadn¡¯t even noticed yet and was too busy with the keys. Cerid gazed into Dorothea¡¯s eyes and only whispered, ¡°Please.¡± Protect Shark. Dorothea got the message. A flash of color sparked from the seed, and Cerid dove over it to shield her and Shark from the blast as much as he could. But Dorothea had thrown her arms around Shark already, and in an instant they were standing at the fort¡¯s entrance. All was ablaze, smoke curling upwards with malicious glee to blot the blue sky. Dorothea and Shark were on their knees, clinging to each other while the ringing in their ears subsided. Shark found their legs first, and, with the two sharing a wide-eyes, tearful nod, they left her side to go see what had inevitably become of Cerid. Dorothea could hear the screaming but couldn¡¯t understand it. Iree. Iree had done this to her own people, and for what? A last-ditch effort to kill the Ghurians in the hopes they¡¯d randomly get caught in the flames? She held her sleeve over her face and stumbled back into the city on quaking legs. There were people that needed help in there. But everywhere she went there were just charred bodies. Ones she couldn¡¯t even get to because of the power of the blaze¡ªit truly did seem like Iree had aimed to kill as many people as possible. The smoke and the shattering silence were making her dizzy. All she could do was keep running through the city, checking everywhere. A call scraped the edge of her awareness, and she stopped in the middle of the market street she had once walked with Rhys, coughing as she spun around. The desperate voice reached her, then the fastest footsteps she¡¯d ever heard, and then a pair of arms were around her, clutching her to a heaving body. ¡°Dorothea!¡± The voice was rough and struggled to get even that word out. ¡°Gren,¡± she croaked, then started sobbing clutching back at him. They sank down, both trembling with fear and a sense of total shock. He kissed her hair and then her forehead, and she felt the touch of his own wet cheeks. But he didn¡¯t say anything. He clearly didn¡¯t know how to start. ¡°The others¡­?¡± Dorothea rasped. He hesitated. ¡°Only Wes and I made it. Rhys putting out fires. He and Wes finding a few survivors while I came to find you.¡± This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. ¡°Cerid, Ariana, Pearlie, Johanna¡­. And so many other people¡­¡± Her emotions were turbulent. One second it felt like she might split apart and the next a consuming numbness was spreading through her. It was the same numbness she had felt in the Catacombs, the one that told her she would never, ever rise above the strength cruelty had in this world, so she shouldn¡¯t even try. ¡°We¡¯ll find a way. The best way to get through this.¡± He held her tighter, shuddering as he thought. He was just as scared as any of them, the person who had taught her to be so much stronger than she had been before. ¡°Gren,¡± she said. ¡°This is already the way, don¡¯t you see?¡± He stared at her in shock. ¡°No¡­ We can¡­¡± He looked sickened as he realized. ¡°But when I say we, we both know I mean you. And you¡­you can¡¯t¡­¡± The Atlin way of dying was whispering to her. Dorothea knew. She knew that Iree hadn¡¯t just destroyed the city and her own people to catch her enemies off guard or in the hopes of killing them off by chance. She¡¯d done it knowing Dorothea wouldn¡¯t be able to ignore what had happened. She¡¯d done it to kill her no matter what, even if she didn¡¯t get to do it personally. But at the same time, she¡¯d given the Ghurians exactly what they needed to end the war. The remainder of Sacer¡¯s population still saw the Ghurians as enemies. They saw them as the aggressors and always had. This blind fear was part of what kept their history of tragedy going. Iree was the aggressor now, her, Sharee and Cinder cemented in history as villains. The Ghurians could be the heroes. People needed to be swayed; they needed to care and see their enemies as people. They needed to be faced starkly and undeniably with the fact that their enemy was within, and now that fact was right in front of them. Fine. Iree could destroy the city. She could take what she would and reveal herself as the monster she was. She could let the Ghurian side show mercy in their evacuation efforts and have the Sacerians be moved in the face of a brand-new kind of tragedy. People cared when it hit them directly. They couldn¡¯t be counted on to care for long, of course. They would forget and move on, perhaps holding some grudges, perhaps deliberately forgetting for their own peace, perhaps making it all about themselves or else finding the sort of comfort that let them shrug off the horror and others¡¯ lives without a care. Dorothea knew this from personal experience. She had been changed by facing the world¡¯s brutality. Others would have to undergo the same now. Long before and long after she existed, hatred would be a driving force in the world, and there would be those who acted against it, those who enacted it and those indifferent to it. ¡°What else can we do?¡± she whispered, searching Gren¡¯s face. ¡°This combined with what Cerid¡¯s been able to influence¡­ It¡¯s the only way I can think of to get us through.¡± He nodded, unable to speak. He didn¡¯t bother to wipe his tears. She wanted to scream at the entire universe for how everything had turned out. At every turn, Iree had destroyed all of their plans and left them winded and weak before they could even begin to properly resist or fight back. ¡°I never wanted to make anyone suffer. To, to let them, I just wanted¡­ All we wanted was for people to be able to reach each other.¡± She let out a plaintive keen. ¡°Why don¡¯t I have more power?! Why am I so damn useless?! All these people, I just¡­!¡± ¡°We have to keep going,¡± Gren said softly, ¡°and trust that we¡¯re doing the right thing.¡± Dorothea¡¯s heart calmed. Yes. There was much to be done, and his strength was giving her the will to carry on just like it had before. ¡°I love you,¡± she said because it was true and she didn¡¯t have as much time as she¡¯d like anymore to tell him so. ¡°And I¡¯m so sorry for ¡ª¡± His kiss tasted like ash and lasted so long, placed on her with such desperate and urgent pressure, that she lost her breath and slowly gasped her way back into finding it against him. He pulled away to gaze at her. ¡°I love you too.¡± There was so much pain in his eyes. She placed her hands on his cheeks. ¡°We have to go end this, here and now. And I¡¯m going to heal this city and its people, and then Ghuria¡¯s land, and then I¡­¡± He already knew. The time they thought they would have together had long since gone. ¡°Even if it¡¯s a single day, let me spend it with you.¡± Despite everything, she smiled through her tears. ¡°Please do.¡± ¡°Every moment." "Thank you for everything. You saved me." One more kiss to her hair. ¡°Don''t you know you saved me too?¡± Being saved and saving each other. Her entire world had been changed by people having the will to do this despite what they had endured and been taught. ¡°I love you, Gren Fall.¡± ¡°I love you, Dorothea Atlin.¡± ¡°I love you so much. Thank you for everything you¡¯ve given me.¡± ¡°I love you. I love you so, so¡­ I wish¡­¡± His voice shook over tears, and they kept trading love and wishes as they sprinted through the city and helped who they could through the wreckage. They said everything they could as they passed by each other through that long day of healing, organizing and fighting, of bringing back to life and trying to find understanding. They tried to say it all enough for the days they should have had together. 48. Their Futures, Blossoming Two Years Later The former fort city of Udara was a torched monument: a testament to the horrors of war and the emotions and people that fueled it. The Battle of Marigold¡¯s Burning, as it came to be called, marked the end of the War of Wither. Sacer reeled from the late Iree Nobelis¡¯ attack, Cerid Creed¡¯s revealing of the truth to the war as a whole, and, perhaps most of all, the concerted efforts of Ghuria¡¯s army to help Sacer¡¯s citizens. Gren Fall spoke on behalf of his nation many times at length back then. If not for the tragedy and his personal, life-risking involvement in the evacuation efforts, it was unlikely many would have listened to a single word he had to say. But he had, and they did. Iree Nobelis¡¯ actions did a good deal to prove his claims, after all. After helping to settle matters enough for Sacer, Ghuria and Sirpo to enter into peaceful talks, he vanished. The leaders of the three nations, all three democratically elected¡ªCerid Creed, Sil Aberforth, and Pearlie Kingfisher¡ªmet to renegotiate territory lines in order to spare Ghuria¡¯s ailing population at last. Ghuria would be completely abandoned in the span of a week as the territories worked to support and accommodate each other in ways they never had even considered trying before. In the face of what had been lost, few were inclined to resist. Of course that hadn¡¯t stopped Shark and Cerid from having to fight just as hard as ever for acceptance in the years to follow, but this was nothing they hadn¡¯t been prepared for. Old wounds were still open between the Sacerians and Ghurians. Peace wasn¡¯t instantaneous or easy, but they had finally come to a place where a different kind of future was possible for Atritaria. Now, as the two stood before the city¡¯s ruins, taking in the weight of the past and how far they had come, they were able to feel a sense of peace. ¡°Sometimes it still feels like yesterday,¡± Shark sighed, pulling Cerid closer with an arm around his shoulders and nuzzling his hair. ¡°The day you came to Sirpo and changed everything, literally crashing back into my life like that.¡± They laughed before reflecting quietly, ¡°All these things happened, that if just one little factor had changed, it would all be so different¡­¡± ¡°Any regrets, my love?¡± Cerid had become a more unsmiling, quieter and colder person following his father¡¯s death¡ªsomething his stepmother and niece had never been able to forget or forgive him for despite Cinder¡¯s actions¡ªbut he gave off an air of happiness in this moment. ¡°None. Thea would say the same if she were here.¡± ¡°I truly hope so.¡± Together they studied the way the rings on their fingers had the exact same glint in the sunlight, a perfect pair as one. ¡°I am sorry she could not be your best woman, as you say.¡± ¡°She was there in spirit. Always is.¡± Cerid closed his eyes and tried to let go of it all. The things his family and Shark¡¯s had done to the both of them. So many people who, even now, denied their right to love and exist just as anyone else would be able to do while taking the easiness of it for granted. What he had done to his father when given his choice. But he could not let go of it, and he never would. At the same time, he would have his love, the other half of his very soul, by his side until the end of his days. He would have his friends and the people who had the courage to step out and live thanks to what he and Shark had been able to do. All this with help from so many they held dear and, frankly, deserved most of the credit. Cerid was constantly humbled by his role as a leader. It was his duty to serve them well with everything he had since they had seen fit to place their trust in him. He would not betray it. ¡°Shall we visit them soon?¡± he asked, coming to the same conclusion he always did when the past tried to bog him down. ¡°Yeah. Let¡¯s invite the others too.¡± Shark gave him a soft, lingering kiss and held him tight, making him feel just as precious and adored as Cerid had since the moment they had confessed their feelings as children who hadn¡¯t known that the worst was yet to come. That they¡¯d get through it all anyhow, together. Always. * Ariana watched as her sister and sister-in-law giggled and squealed as they romped in the brisk, salty water of one of Sacer''s many reopened beaches. She was more comfortable reading in the shade of her umbrella, but she¡¯d join them after finishing another chapter or two since it would make Pearlie happy. Life was busy as Cerid¡¯s bodyguard. Opposition to change was just as sure as the thing itself. Still, she got regular time to herself, good benefits and all that. Cerid would never treat her with anything less than the decency she deserved as a human being. This was a world where she still had to pick her battles, but she wasn¡¯t alone anymore. She allowed that, and there was power in it. Standing in the surf and wiggling her toes in sodden sand, she couldn¡¯t help but think about distance. Almost immediately things were settled enough to call civil, Rhys and Wesley had departed across these blue waves. None of them had heard a peep from either since. Only those who had fought alongside them believed with utter certainty that they were still alive out there. Ariana fully expected the entertainment of their return someday. Then there were Pearlie and Johanna, both shrieking as they dragged each other into the water over and over in a way both affectionate and competitive. They had offered again and again and still yet again for Ariana to move in with them, but as always she had to do things her own way. Yeah. Her life was really hers. She was taking full responsibility for that fact. She provided for herself and served as her own support while not failing to realize and appreciate the unfaltering, loving support of her family and friends. Love. Yeah, love was a funny thing. Everyone she cared for had someone to love in a way she didn¡¯t quite understand. Was she jealous? No, not really. She may not have felt love the same way everyone around her did, but that didn¡¯t mean she didn¡¯t feel it at all. With a chuckle and a sigh, she snuck up behind Pearlie and gave her the biggest splash she could. ¡°When¡¯s this whole get-together Shark and Cerid suggested happening?¡± ¡°As if you haven¡¯t been looking forward to it more than anyone!¡± Pearlie laughed, and then Johanna proceeded to team up and politely submerge her. Just like this, Ariana thought. This was what her happiness looked like. Everyone she cared for was at peace, and her own future was sparkling with the promise of the unknown. Her own happiness on her own terms. There was no better life Ariana could think to live, and no life she had ever wanted more, than that. * People needed to deal with the consequences of their actions. She wasn¡¯t responsible for all the world¡¯s hurts. She¡¯d done enough, and Iree had taken enough from her. She deserved to actually have a future now. Go on now. Let us handle the rest. These were the sorts of arguments Ariana, Cerid and Shark had used to convince Dorothea to choose to live rather than undo every single thing Iree had done that day on top of healing Ghuria¡¯s lands. She never fully forgave herself for making the choice she did, but she never fully regretted it either. No one else would have forgiven her either or let her be had they known she was still alive. In the chaos of rebuilding after the last battle, she¡¯d been able to disappear. Cerid stated that the Atlin way of dying had taken her, and no one had much time to dwell or grieve for her in the face of everything else. Gren had joined her after being sure all was well enough to leave in others¡¯ hands. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. She and Gren laid low for a bit and then returned to Ghuria once its people left for more bountiful lands. Dorothea had never realized until the others proposed new solutions to her that she had been working under the assumption the entire time that the people of all three lands needed to stay divided. There was room and resources for everyone as long as they came together. Two years was nowhere near long enough to tell if this would be a lasting peace, but Gren said it looked promising. Dorothea was inclined to believe him. They moved into his childhood home. Empty houses surrounded them like a collection of mausoleums, but neither of them minded. It was peaceful, and that was what mattered and gave them joy. They kept a small garden of flowers, herbs and vegetables. Gren brought her wildflowers from his hunts, these pressed into a book that she sometimes hugged when he was gone. She¡¯d had to have a porch swing; a porch swing simply said home. Today that was where she waited around the time Gren had said he¡¯d come home. Sometimes he liked to go off on his own through Ghuria, experiencing it in a way he had never been able to before. Free from danger. He would always greet her in the same way, and he did so with the gentle predictability she¡¯d come to adore in him. He¡¯d grin as he came up the stone walkway, pace quickening at the sight of her. He¡¯d cross all the porch steps in one stride and then bend over her to place a gentle kiss to her lips, tucking the flowers he always carried into her hands at the same time. He¡¯d say one of two things: ¡°Hello¡± or ¡°I love you,¡± but they really meant the same thing. Then they would walk inside arm in arm. Their first day there, he had insisted on carrying her across the threshold, saying it would make it feel like their home. Theirs, together for the rest of their lives. And it really did. They had built a simple life in this house filled with ghosts, releasing the specters with the warmth of a life they had fought for. Clashing colors and patterns filled the rooms from top to bottom, creating a chaotic sense of whimsy. Tea Dorothea prepared at just the right time for it to cool perfectly to drink right when they entered would sit on the living room table in front of the couch. She¡¯d light candles while Gren either picked out a book for them to read together (he was no longer uncomfortable reading aloud to her) or got settled, simply in the mood to talk. They would cook dinner together when they got peckish. Dorothea surprised him with a ready dessert perhaps a little too often, but she couldn¡¯t help herself after realizing what a sweet tooth he had. They would clean up and do whatever chores they hadn¡¯t taken care of that morning. Lazy morning or lazy evening, Gren would say, never both. Dorothea would then remind him that whether or not they ended up sleeping in was often due to him. He couldn¡¯t really deny it. Gren was quite fond of their post-dinner bath. Dorothea had gotten used to rarely bathing alone, and it was something she looked forward to as well. Gren usually got her to admit things like that with what he would more likely than not initiate directly afterwards. Well, it was as he¡¯d said all that time ago. He¡¯d waited until the answer to the question of if she was scared was no. And then he¡¯d run with it. Sprinted, more like. Of course it just made her love him all the more to see such enthusiasm. Some nights they would sleep quietly after stopping at the quieter intimacy of the bath, of course. Other days they wouldn¡¯t be able to leave each other alone. Wondering what each day would bring was part of the fun. Now, Gren arranged the blankets over them as they cuddled up to drift to sleep talking to each other as they always did. ¡°I had a dream last night,¡± he said, stretching before turning to her, one hand idly rubbing her thigh and the other making loops of her hair. ¡°What about?¡± ¡°My mom and dad were there. We were in this huge field of flowers. Dozens of kinds, ones I¡¯ve never seen in real life. And they just hugged me and hugged me, saying things I couldn¡¯t hear even though they were right there, and then Grella and Fir came running up. You were between them and they were holding your hands. You all seemed happy. Again, I couldn¡¯t hear what anyone was saying, but dream me didn¡¯t mind. We all just ran towards the sun. Even though it kept getting farther away, we just kept running. Didn¡¯t matter we¡¯d never get there. The whole time, you were all yelling things and laughing. Near the end you leaned over to whisper something in my ear. I started to hear your voice, and then I woke up. That¡¯s when I went outside and found you in the garden this morning.¡± Dorothea smiled. ¡°A good dream.¡± ¡°Yeah. A good dream. I know what they¡¯d be saying.¡± He looked at her with so much love that she could barely restrain herself. Luck would have it that they tended to be on the same page. His fingers slid the barest bit beneath the edge of her shorts. ¡°I¡¯m beyond happy,¡± Dorothea said softly as he eased her onto her back and straddled her. ¡°You¡¯re up to it?¡± She was still covered in marks from the night before. And the night before that. He always just liked hearing her answer and being sure, and she his. Her communication of consent was to strip out of her shorts and shirt as fast as she possibly could. Eagerness went both ways. ¡°Come here.¡± Gren laughed, peeling them both out of all remaining clothes. ¡°Gently?¡± She pouted at him, always did when he chose to ask. ¡°At first.¡± ¡°And then?¡± He didn¡¯t tease her much, but he couldn¡¯t seem to help himself at times like this. ¡°I¡¯ll let you know.¡± But they both already knew the answer. He¡¯d laugh again, and then they¡¯d love each other as deeply as they could, over and over. At the end they would hold one another as they caught their breath with that powerful raw hunger satiated. They would sleep well, falling into blissful exhaustion. Dorothea woke the next morning to the feeling of his lips tickling her neck. ¡°I¡¯m the one waking you up. How rare,¡± he said once she started giggling and turned to face him. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I feel like moving today,¡± she replied with a yawn and a stretch. ¡°Stay here then. I¡¯ll prep everything.¡± Shark, Cerid, Ariana, Pearlie and Johanna would be visiting today. They tried to sneak down when they could, delivering very random care packages and new stories each time. ¡°No, it¡¯s more fun to do it together. Don¡¯t,¡± she added before he could take the opportunity for a double entendre. ¡°Goodness¡­ I need to hide all this.¡± She traced the constellation of love marks across her body. ¡°And you wonder why I keep sewing myself longer skirts and shirts with high collars. You. Your fault, sir.¡± He laughed and kissed her, and they cleaned up together before heading to the kitchen. They had only just finished tying their aprons when a knock came at the door. ¡°They¡¯re not supposed to be here for hours¡­¡± Dorothea stood back as Gren narrowed his eyes. ¡°Relax. Just check who it is. I don¡¯t think anyone will have found us, but we¡¯ll hear them out if that¡¯s the case.¡± That was what they¡¯d decided long ago. They wanted this life together, but they would consider the needs of anyone who approached them. ¡°Right.¡± They went to the door, nodded to each other, and prepared to greet their guest. ¡°Dorothea, Gren. Been a while,¡± Rhys greeted. Wesley was grinning like he¡¯d used to, though it had lost its predatory sense in favor of a more relaxed general flavor of mocking. ¡°Yo.¡± ¡°Hi,¡± Dorothea breathed. She then threw her arms into the air. ¡°Rhys!¡± she shrieked, throwing her arms around his neck. ¡°Oof!¡± He stumbled back, laughing. ¡°You¡¯ve lost weight. Way too much weight. Are you eating?¡± ¡°Yeah, you look like shit,¡± Wesley said bluntly. ¡°Wes,¡± Gren sighed, ¡°it¡¯s been two years since I¡¯ve heard a word from you and the first thing you do is insult my wife?¡± He paused. ¡°You know, that tracks.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a wide world beyond the sea,¡± Wesley said. ¡°Couldn¡¯t exactly send many letters.¡± He sighed as Rhys let go of Dorothea so he could reach over and pinch Wesley on the cheek. ¡°Fine. I apologize for my words.¡± He arched a brow at Rhys. ¡°Good enough?¡± ¡°Yes, yes.¡± Rhys backed up to put a hand on Wesley¡¯s shoulder and smiled at Dorothea and Gren. ¡°We¡¯ve got a lot of stories we could share with you both. If you want.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll fit right in,¡± Gren said with a laugh. ¡°Everyone will have a lot to say.¡± ¡°Cool.¡± Wesley seized Gren by the wrist to drag him inside. ¡°Say what you have to, Rhys. Make it quick, before I get jealous.¡± ¡°What?¡± Dorothea looked between them and Rhys quickly, and then they were alone. ¡°Yes?¡± Rhys smiled. ¡°You remember what I said to you that night? The night we talked in our camp in Ghuria. What was it we were celebrating? That Ghurian festival.¡± ¡°I remember.¡± ¡°Then do you remember what I said to you?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± She¡¯d never breathed a word of it to anyone else. I don¡¯t know what love is. I don¡¯t know what it¡¯s supposed to be or how it¡¯s supposed to feel. But I want to find it. When I do, I¡¯ll come back to you. Dorothea smiled. ¡°And you¡¯re here.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± He took a breath and exhaled with an easy smile, as if he was tasting the wind of the world in an entirely new way. ¡°So I wanted to tell you this, no matter what.¡± ¡°I already know,¡± Dorothea said softly. ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting a long time, and hoping.¡± They both looked to the house, where Gren and Wesley were bickering and laughing about something. ¡°I love you, Dorothea,¡± Rhys said. ¡°Thank you for being my best friend. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to get this far or gain the love I have without you.¡± ¡°I love you too, Rhys. I¡¯m so glad I met you.¡± She laughed and teased, ¡°Would you be okay with being in a tie for my absolute best friend?¡± Rhys smiled warmly. ¡°More than enough.¡± ¡°Are you done yet?¡± Wesley called out. ¡°It¡¯s totally cool if not!¡± ¡°Yes, we¡¯re done!¡± Rhys replied. ¡°Come on. Lots to talk about and plenty of time.¡± Dorothea entered the warmth of her home, where the bloom of happiness that had rooted in her only grew larger and more beautiful by the day. There was plenty of time left, even if sometimes it didn¡¯t feel like nearly enough. There was plenty of love left to give and plenty of things left to share. She had averted that painful, lonely future she¡¯d once thought was certain. ¡°I love you,¡± she whispered in Gren¡¯s ear as Wesley jumped up to ruffle Rhys¡¯ hair while peppering him with playful questions about what he¡¯d said to Dorothea. ¡°Mm.¡± Gren put his cheek to her hair while chuckling at his friend¡¯s antics. ¡°I¡¯m happy,¡± he said quietly. ¡°So happy I can¡¯t even contain it sometimes.¡± ¡°Me too.¡± That was how it would be until the end. Authors Note: The End Great googly moogly it''s over. Well, I''m frankly amazed if you''ve gotten this far, and very thankful for your time. I wrote the majority of War of Seasons while being a mixture of anxious, depressed and suicidal. Gross, and pretty rude of the universe. I think that definitely came through in the story, particularly with the character of Rhys Tamlin. I don''t regret how serious the narrative got, necessarily, even though it wasn''t my initial intention. I''m very glad that all the characters got to have happy lives in the end though, which was what I wanted all along and very important, I think. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. I think writing can be a place of healing, and in a sense this story was in part what I used to get through. But I look forward to writing something simpler and happier next time. Thank you again, very much. Take care, everyone.