《Forsaken kNight》
A Cemetery for One
Blue skies expanded out to forever. The plentiful sunlight raining down from on high brought the limitless fields of green grass to a dazzling sparkle while the calm breeze played with its blades. The peaceful sight of trees gifted inconsistent but welcomed shade to the innumerable monuments that rose from the earth.
Upon every hewn stone made to line the fields was one particular detail which remained consistent among them despite how unlimited they were.
Each listed the date of 2010 October the 9th on their faces.
Carrying through, peering from one to the next, their conditions were variable. Some were sculpted as grand displays for the memory of the one they had honored. Others were so simple, small and insignificant that many could be oblivious to them if they had not kept their wits about themselves. While there were many that were given much care and love, overcoming the years to remain as new, there were those among the lot that were worn to the point of nigh illegibility.
So it was. A cemetery for the departed.
In the stillness of that land of the dead there was but one living person who could know the many graves that continued on beyond the horizon without cease.
The sight of her crimson hair was an immediate contrast to the grass and the skies. Its flourishing bangs flowered like the petals of a rose towards its end which came at her jawline. A large, cute bow was fastened at the back of her hair and it accentuated her large, green eyes that were as verdant as the rolling hills she journeyed through. Yet those innocent eyes held such immense sorrow within them. A dimming hopelessness latched tightly in their green and yet just behind that dark shroud was a shining of hope even if it was minuscule.
By all appearances of her soft and youthful complexion, she was a young girl in the mid of her teen years. Though seeming to be little more than an untested youth, her white and red clothing were that of a knight¡¯s. That uniform was completed with a small mantle and pure white piece of armor at her left shoulder. Her chest, meanwhile, was guarded by a breastplate bearing an etching of the Roman numeral for the number eleven.
Although there was no danger to be found in the vast cemetery, she¡¯d kept a sword fastened and ready in the sheath hanging at her hip.
As she explored the headstones, her eyes glanced from one to the next. Surveying the dates one after another, seeking among them to find the one which held the greatest significance to her. After what she had felt to be years of walking, she had at last met her destination.
It was the most decrepit of all. So much so that the engraved message for the deceased¡¯s final day was but a haze on the stone. Still, it couldn¡¯t keep her from knowing that this was the very one that she had sought. She knew in her heart beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was his.
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Removing the thick glove on her hand, she extended her bare finger to touch its face. Tracing the date she knew all too well on the decayed engraving, her lips moved to speak its message silently to herself.
It was the grave of the Celestial Knight.
The grave of her hero.
As humble as it was the first day she had seen it for herself. As humble as he had requested it be the day he knew his death would come.
Seeing his resting place, she had finally felt a sense of ease wash over her. Though that ease had brought streams of tears to flow from her now glassy eyes. They slowly ran across her cute face for which sorrow was ill suited.
Memories of his deaths began to resurface, beginning with his first. As the images continued to flow, she relived one of those moments which had made a permanent etching in her memory.
Held in her hands, his body slowly losing its life as it pooled beneath him and soaked into her clothes. The weary smile he wore as he looked into her eyes and smiled to himself.
¡°I¡¯m so grateful¡ that you¡¯re still here. Live.¡± His final words that rode on weary breath.
He had touched her cheek, wishing to feel her warmth before his parting. She had held his hand close and dearly. She had experienced intimately the very moment it had fallen slack in hers. The red marking of his life he¡¯d given her remained as she could barely register that she would never see him alive again.
All of the adventures, all of the time she¡¯d spent by his side had lead to his goodbyes again and again. There were countless beautiful memories with him but at this time as her heart ached all she could see were those moments of death each headstone encompassing her memorialized.
Some were bloody. There were those that were sudden and traumatic and yet there were others too that were peaceful and came at the end of a long and storied life.
Even with all of those histories, she was still here.
There was a gripping, rending fear in her heart tangling with the will to do and the drive to act.
Now was her final chance to save the man she had looked to as her greatest inspiration. But there was one glaring problem which kept her from his rescue.
In this final life, she was never born to him.
Fatigue overtook her as she began praying, imagining any way that she could meet him and be there until he could at last complete his purpose. In her running imagination, an emotion more powerful than the thoughts of his rescue warmed her heart and came coupled a bittersweet pain that made the tears flow ever stronger.
All she wanted at this moment was to be with him and to feel his arms around her.
Giving in to her exhaustion and defeat at the hands of her emotions, she laid herself on the grass of his grave. Unbuckling her sword, she brought it close to her body and wrapped her arms tightly around it.
Her mind turned inwards as she began to dream. In her pained heart it wasn¡¯t a sword that she was embracing, but the Celestial Knight himself.
Ill Fortune
My eyes had opened to a bizarre world beyond fathom. Even in my wildest imaginings I could have never once pictured a location so abstract and otherworldly. Beneath a canopy of glass which held the moon and the stars prisoner in its body. Where moonlight was all that could be known as there was never a sun to shine.
While I wandered that world I was no longer in control of my own body. Or rather, I hadn¡¯t my own body to control. From the moment I¡¯d awoken I was there with another. Trapped in their skull with them yet altogether invisible and unknown to them.
It was scarce that I¡¯d ever see the face of the man in whose body I had become captive, but when he would peer into a reflection as he seldom did, I would catch those sparing glimpses of them. And when he would come before any kind of mirror, I would see him; the man whose hair was as black as coal with eyes colored a somber green.
I knew his name only as it was spoken by those he kept as company and through the sweet and beloved voice of his most esteemed companion as she gleefully called out to him.
Fortino.
Piece by piece, discovering him through those who met with and who stood by his side, I¡¯d come to know that this man was a knight. One of the few knights that this world had ever known. A member of a regiment created for the sake of liberating all of this city of Stelaris from the nightmarish world of the Zodiac Prison.
Through tales told by he and the few other knights that had hailed from my own home kingdom of Celestia, the citizens began to dream of the world where the golden light of the mysterious sun rained down. The land where an infinitely high blue ceiling expanded beyond the reach of their imaginations.
Towards that land, the knighthood had promised, he would do all hecould to raise every person to that world overflowing with freedom.
? ? ?
All of my experiences in Stelaris and the Prison had come streaming to me through inconsistent moments of awareness. Fading from one event to the next without a discernible pattern nor reason, I¡¯d began to understand but a shadow of the reality. That small insight had made it all a magnificent mystery that I¡¯d began to deeply desire to unravel.
I had been witness to troubling conflict, battles against heinous monsters; the Loveless. I¡¯d seen the times when the edge of death had swept close only to miss by a hair. There were times when sights had changed to the relaxing, even melancholy moments spent in the city of Stelaris.
Always by Fortino¡¯s side was his beloved. A maiden whose long locks were like drifting rays of lunar light and whose eyes alight with love shone with captured stars in their deeper blue.
Amorette.
From their first meeting atop a high hill reaching out to the imprisoned moon and through their most delicate moments spent, I¡¯d watched the two grow together through with those small flashes of insight I¡¯d been given.
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Together, promising the world to each other, giving their worlds to each other. A wedding ring slipped on her finger and a bittersweet feeling mastering the ceremony of their union.
Resignation but yet an unbreakable love glowing in their hearts to carry them onward.
In the next flash I had watched Amorette from the flat of the mattress. Looking over to her where she lay with her head on the pillow, her hair fanning out over the covers. A smile made her radiant features glow with such disarming, true warmth as she looked towards her lover with only eyes for him.
Holding out her hand, the wedding ring poised on her finger, she held his own firmly, letting him feel her warmth as they rested to sleep.
¡°I love you, Fortino.¡±
With the blink of an eye, she had vanished.
Where she¡¯d laid was only the dust of the cruel and unforgiving earth. A spattering of blood where she once smiled towards him. Fortino had felt her warmth on his hand for but a spare second before reality had returned to him and he had fallen out of his memories.
It was then I¡¯d understood what was happening.
All that I¡¯d seen was but a flash of his life as his blood continued to drain from his body, leaving the complete absence of Amorette¡¯s loving embrace.
I could feel the tears falling down his face, blurring the empty, harrowing sight he¡¯d watched. Hoping that his most despaired tears could bring back even so much as that image of her for even a single second longer so he could even perish with the most minuscule fragment of peace in his heart.
Trying to squeeze his hand shut, he¡¯d hoped to feel hers in his own one final time. But he could only weakly grasp the empty air left beside him.
When his fingers grew numb, I¡¯d began to feel light, airy. Our eyes were no longer one when I¡¯d felt myself leaving his body behind. In a panic, I¡¯d quickly turned to look to the earth as I was lifted from it. There he was beneath me, the black and dark blue of his uniform tattered and worn, his armor shattered. His blood mixed with the dust, still continuing to pool out from the opened wound in his chest.
¡°Fortino!¡± I cried out to him and to my incredulity, he¡¯d labored to turn and face me.
Our eyes linked together and I could feel my own tears running as his did. I reached out to him with all of my strength, all that I could muster to grasp for him. But against the greatest attempts I could give, the distance between us only grew.
Taking a skipping, strained breath, he¡¯d extended his hand out to mine. Yet his reaching out was altogether different. Not outstretched to grab hold of mine hand, but as if to say his goodbyes to me.
With one final stream of tears splashing across his cheek, his eyes became hollow. All of the feeble energy that he¡¯d had left to use was cut like a wire splayed in two. His hand met the earth where he¡¯d dreamed Amorette had laid in his dying visions.
And then he was no more.
¡°No! Hold on¡! Just a little longer!¡± I screamed out to him. ¡°You can¡¯t die! Stelaris is counting on you! You were supposed to return home with her!¡±
I¡¯d raised so high towards the glass skies that I¡¯d wondered if my voice could even carry over the expanse between us. As I could feel the glass coming close, I¡¯d shouted out my pledge to him.
¡°I don¡¯t care! I won¡¯t let you go! I¡¯ll find you! I¡¯ll find this prison and I¡¯ll kick down its doors and tear it apart! I¡¯ll come back for you! I swear on my life! No matter what it takes, I¡¯ll return!¡±
¡°Let go, Khiron.¡± A thought lit up in my mind but it had felt as if it wasn¡¯t my own thought, but the gentle voice of another.
In my last moments conscious in the Prison, I¡¯d felt an embrace that held me right and lifted me higher beyond the moon and the stars that were trapped in their glass prison.
Records Unknown
I stand between two grand bookshelves which raise to thrice my height. They¡¯re both completely filled from end to end with books. Every which way I could turn, even more lanes of shelves of the same size carry on further than I can strain my eyes to see. The soft and luxurious violet carpets underfoot lay the path across the endless marble flooring and to the heights I can see the separation of stories reaching so high into the heavens that all view eventually fades away into light.
Despite the immense size of the building that seems to continue on without an end, my voice doesn¡¯t carry away as an echo. No matter that I can find no window nor source of lighting, the entire room is lit up to complete visibility.
In stark opposition to the Zodiac Prison which was fraught with an overwhelming, oppressive atmosphere ever looming, I find myself without a single qualm nor worry as I stand still and survey the great library surrounding me. I feel comforted, warm. As if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
No matter that I reflect on Fortino¡¯s parting, I find myself undisturbed and simply observant to the fact with a sense of peace. Yet I can already tell that the moment I would leave this library, all of the despair would immediately come back to rob me of my tranquility and send me into confusion.
Uncertain but ever curious, I choose a direction to walk and begin forward without a destination in mind.
? ? ?
Although I could swear that hours have passed, I feel that it carries the same weight as minutes. I simply continue on my way. Never lost, only unknowing as to where I wish to be. Turning the next corner and into a larger opening where the shelves now shoulder each other and form a rectangular space, I pause for thought.
¡°I wonder how the others are doing right now.¡±
In silence, suddenly aware, a spike of intuition fires in my mind. It taps on my shoulder and points the direction towards my right. I about face and find a book within the rectangle of shelves and take it from its place on the mantle.
¡°Of Wariness for Friends ¨C Upon Incidence of 2030 June¡±, the title is marked in bold print upon its face.
I open it up and land on the question I had wondered to myself by sheer instinct. As I let my eyes roll across the pages, I begin to read over their whereabouts and well being from bodily health to emotional stability.
Sorrowed would be the most simple way of putting what I¡¯d learned. To the worst, devastated. Despite all that I¡¯ve come to know, I continue in a state of tranquility, even after I¡¯ve come to understand Juna¡¯s predicaments.
¡°Celine is taking care of Juna the best that she can while I¡¯m gone. I¡¯ll definitely need to show her my gratitude when I return.¡± Another thought comes to my mind and I openly ponder it to myself. ¡°I wonder what Celine thinks of the situation.¡±
The library¡¯s lighting shifts from a warm light into a peaceful, blue illumination. At my shoulder now exists an impossibly tall glass window from which a magnificent moon shines its light in between the limitless shelves of the library.
¡°I apologize, but you haven¡¯t gained permission to access any information private to the maiden of Celine Lucienne residing in the city of Empyrea, Celestia.¡± A gentle voice speaks to me as if a friend standing by my shoulder.
I glance the direction it had originated from only to discover that I remain alone in the clearing. But I¡¯m not worried and there isn¡¯t a trace of fear in my heart. Although I can¡¯t see them, I understand that they kindly accompany me on my travels through the aisles.
¡°I should apologize myself. I ought to know better than to think such a thing. I¡¯ve always taken her for a very private woman so I¡¯m sure she would be quite alarmed if I¡¯d trespassed in this way.¡±
At my acknowledgment, the room returns to its previous form, save for the fact that the window that had appeared remains. A golden dusk now streams in through it and paints the library a cozy madder red.
¡°I¡¯m grateful to see you, Khiron. I¡¯d known that you would be visiting us today so I¡¯d come to assist you while you¡¯re here.¡±
Though it remains unspoken, I find myself understanding why my company is invisible to my eyes. It¡¯s in their code to remain as anonymous to all visitors.
¡°It¡¯s odd. I feel like I know this place but I¡¯m not exactly sure where I am. Last thing I can remember is Fortino¡¯s fate. And before that I believe I¡¯d been with Juna at her bedside.¡±
¡°We had spoken in your absence and had come to the agreement that we would desire you to rediscover this sacred place on your own. It is a part of your journey and although we aid you in the ways we can, there are answers that must be found in your own heart.¡±
¡°That will be a bit troubling for me once I return, but it is easily understandable. I just hope that I¡¯ll be able to truly remember.¡±
¡°That won¡¯t be an issue, have no fear.¡± They comfort me with a voice that I can easily connect to a smile though it remains unseen.
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As I let my eyes briefly wander about, I happen to capture the faint sight of children playing among the rows of the aged wooden shelving. Their laughter plays for me for a sparing moment before it fades away. At that experience, I feel soothed. It chimes clearly as something deeply familiar.
¡°Before this place had felt like it had no ending but now there¡¯s a window and a view.¡±
¡°It had appeared to you as there was a part of your heart that had desired to see an ending for the sake of your own comfort. You¡¯d narrowed down all of this eternal, infinite place so that it would be under the limits of your own acceptance.¡±
A laugh falls from their mouth but it¡¯s in no way mocking. They laugh with me for the humor I have inside of me. Yet their voice lowers a touch in harmony with my own feelings to what I already know they will say.
¡°After all, there is much that you yourself have chosen to keep away from yourself.¡±
I simply remain silent, staring towards their voice. I¡¯m not unsure of what to say, I simply know their honesty and accept their statement as the truth it is.
¡°I will have the grace to warn you that your time is sparing now. Soon you¡¯ll be making your exit so please make the best of the time you have left to spend here.¡±
True to their word, I feel my mind suddenly becoming hazy for a second before it returns to clarity. I send a grateful nod their way, take a breath and get to acting.
¡°Please let me know what had happened to me. In regards to my last memory in Celestia.¡±
¡°That is a broad question but I can easily gift you something that will be of help. Check here.¡±
Despite that I only glance through air, even if I see nothing, I know exactly where their finger points and I take up the book into my hands to flip it open.
¡°On the Subject of Khiron Carpenter¡¯s Gravest Incidences¡±.
I open it directly to the page and begin reading.
¡°2030 June the 23rd, Sunday
¡°It was truly a life changing day. I had assisted Vestil and the kingdom to clear a nest of Feral which had appeared in the southern commerce city of Skyline. And once more I had encountered Astaroth who had yet again left a powerful Loveless for me to exterminate as he¡¯d departed.
¡°At first I¡¯d thought to spend the night in the city before returning home to Empyrea, yet Neptanie¡¯s warning kept me from feeling too at ease. It took a single phone call from her to drive my decision to return early.¡±
¡°When did this happen? I can¡¯t remember this at all. I¡¯ve never fought a Loveless.¡± Despite how perplexing it was to read, I was perfectly relaxed and simply curious. ¡°Astaroth? Who is that? But Feral¡ that sounds familiar.¡±
I left my wonders behind to make sure I was committing the best of my time towards the book.
¡°Upon return, the unthinkable happened. An unforeseen influx of Feral had breached way into Empyrea. Hordes of their corrupted ilk made their way into the outer limits of the city. As an emergency response, all of the city¡¯s knights were called to battle. Juna had heeded the call and had left on her way alone. Forgoing any back up, any fellow knights to go with her.
¡°I¡¯d ran as fast as I could with only one desire firm in my mind: to make for certain she would make it through the night.
¡°I¡¯d joined a group of knights in the area and had worked with them to route the numbers. And when I¡¯d gone to meet Juna, I¡¯d fought tooth and nail to protect her from the demons which surrounded her.
¡°I¡¯d been injured in the battle but she was safe aside from the injuries she¡¯d endured. Before I could escort her away, the two of us had been thrust into a nightmare together. I saw to it that she had escaped from that hell, but I¡¯d been dragged back into it and forced to fight my way out.
From there it became blurry. I¡¯d become wrathful, hateful of my enemies unlike I had ever known. My blade tore everything standing in my way into bloodied shreds.¡±
¡°That¡¯s not¡ that¡¯s not how it happened at all¡ I don¡¯t think it did¡¡±
A sudden spark of imagery lights up my mind and I experience the moment I¡¯d dragged my sword through the neck of a large, shadowed bear that had only retained a shred of its previous form as a once innocent animal.
¡°That was¡ a Feral¡ An animal that had been corrupted by Eclipse¡¯s influence. I¡¯d never fought one in my life. Nothing like that even exists in this world.¡±
Though I attempt to ponder deeper into this new mystery beyond my own comprehension, I begin to feel tired. All that I am begins to slowly descend into a blur as I feel not my body slacken, but my own grip on my being in this world. I gasp for breath and quickly right myself as strongly as I can.
¡°I¡¯m¡ running out of time. I need to know¡ more¡!¡±
I¡¯d carelessly dropped the book but it had immediately found itself returned to its place on the shelf. Against my growing panic, I know exactly which book I desire to read. It¡¯s such a strong desire, an immense drive. But altogether mysterious and unknown. I realize that I long so greatly for someone. Someone I feel myself missing so dearly.
I begin to feel as if I¡¯m drunk trying to reach for it but I¡¯m spared the trouble as the kindly hands of my company take mercy on me and deliver it to my custody.
¡°I-I need to see her¡ I need¡ Even for just a moment¡¡±
I open the book and my friend helps me by correcting its page. The text printed upon it begins to grow illegible. Not from poor vision but as if I¡¯m losing my ability to read it. I sharpen my focus and look to where the invisible finger points me.
¡°My most beloved daughter. A priceless and most beautiful gift from her mother who I adore with all of my heart.¡±
My hands begin to fail and I nearly drop the book, but I feel the touch of my friend whose body is somehow like light. They hold it firm so I can take my final glance at it.
¡°In honor of our love, I¡¯d named her Rose.¡±
¡°I look forward to your return, my dear friend.¡±
With those final words lovingly playing in my ears, I fall unconscious.
Chapter One: To See the Sky
Clamorous.
Voices upon voices, noise on noise.
I rise through a sea of sound and I feel myself ascending towards the light waving at the surface. When I break through and find myself in the surf, I take a breath. All the sound silences and draws into the ringing of a single voice.
¡°Wake up.¡±
Standing before me in the white smear of a room is a woman in white. Her long hair sweeps like dancing rays. Around her is arcing light reaching far from her like outstretched wings.
¡°An¡ angel?¡±
I blink my tired eyes and my visual begins to clear. All that I¡¯d seen which was once only white is now painted with color. The spreading wings are but the long fabric of a lab coat caught with the rays of dusk sunlight peering in through the window.
That very sunset catches in her hair and although once seemingly white, it is now as rich as fields of wheat ready for the harvest. While I dial into focus, her kindly eyes radiant like the morning heavens stare right back into mine.
She¡¯s dressed as a knight yet carries herself as innocently as a fair maiden.
¡°You¡¯re conscious.¡± She speaks with a note of relief in her voice. ¡°So much sooner than I¡¯d anticipated. My prayers have been answered.¡±
With one last blink, the finer details tune in with my vision. I can see the soft and sensitive features of my company¡¯s face. Naturally glowing, made even more striking from the red of dusk, she is breathtakingly radiant.
¡°Hello, Sir Celestial Knight. I¡¯m Doctor Leoticae Hyla. I¡¯m here to take care of you. Please allow me to perform a few checks for your health. I promise none of it will hurt.¡± Her soft voice conveys her utmost care.
Before wagering to ask any unnecessary questions, I glance about the room to make sense of the setting. It¡¯s quickly obvious that I¡¯m in a hospital room. Given how blank and white it is with few amenities save for a dresser, cupboard and counter spaces, that much is clear to me. I lay beneath a white sheet and look up to her from the padding of the bed.
My attention naturally returns to her; the one who is a pleasant sight to see. Though I remain silent, contemplative and a bit mixed up. I¡¯m easily caught on her beauty as she stares back at me unabashed. After confirming a silent affirmation on my part she goes about her duties, beginning with a vision test using a small pen flashlight.
? ? ?
Concluding the procedures, she takes a seat before me on a rolling stool.
¡°I have both good news and bad news. But there¡¯s nothing you have to worry over; the bad news is over with.¡± The smile Hyla pays me is sweet, comfortingly so. ¡°For the bad, I regret to inform you that you¡¯d suffered an accident. But you¡¯re going to make it through just fine. Most of the trouble has already passed.¡±
She allows me the courtesy of a pause in her recounting events for my sake. I contemplate what I¡¯ve been told and through a stuttered mind, attempt to piece together what had come before my enrollment into this hospital. Images flicker one after another, memories returning. Or what I can fathom are memories.
A world where even the heavens were held prisoner.
The death of someone beloved in the merciless fields of war.
A grand and infinite library filled with limitless books.
I feel an aching in my chest begin as the scar soon pays me its own hello for my return. From there my head begins to ache alongside it. A disgusting feeling catches up to me, a weighty emotion of despair.
¡°I¡¯d¡ been in a bear attack?¡±
¡°Oh my.¡± She stifles a small laugh from hearing my ludicrous attempt at guessing. ¡°No, there was no wildlife involved. Especially nothing as imposing as a bear.¡±
¡°It was a Feral, wasn¡¯t it? The bear? I¡¯d¡¡±
¡°There were no feral bears around at the time of the incident. Though with how things played out for you, I can understand why you¡¯d feel that could be the case.¡±
¡°Feral¡ Feral exist, right?¡±
¡°There are feral animals, sure.¡± She lightly runs her pen against the memo pad she has placed on her lap. ¡°It seems that you¡¯re suffering from disorientation yet. That¡¯s only natural, don¡¯t worry. It was quite an incidence.¡±
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¡°What really happened then? I¡¯m struggling to recall.¡±
¡°Before that, could you please tell me your name and date of birth? Just to check up on your long term memory is all.¡± She soothes my rising nerves with her gentle bedside manner.
¡°My name is Khiron Carpenter. I was born in the year 2010 on the date of December the 9th.¡±
¡°It seems that your memory is doing well despite being a bit shaken up. That¡¯s a relief, isn¡¯t it?¡±
Folding one leg over the other daintily, she looks into my eyes and all of her concern is conveyed through the most minute twinkling found therein.
¡°I¡¯ll let you know what was reported to have happened. So please just relax and listen.¡±
? ? ?
Hyla had recounted everything to me. The storm, that I had been reported to have taken off after Juna, having feared for her life. I¡¯d entered into a training center and had secluded us both before her own mishandling of a magic spell had caused a severe incident. I¡¯d carried her body all the way to the infirmary and from that point had collapsed completely unconscious.
The impact I¡¯d endured had resulted in severe damage to my soft tissues and skeleton. Though given how I had carried on in spite of that, it¡¯s a miracle I¡¯d managed to have traveled as far as I had given the range of my injuries.
¡°But Juna¡!¡±
¡°Juna is safe. She¡¯s okay.¡± Hyla quickly puts my qualms to rest. I can feel her empathy bleeding through, understanding well how disturbed I could become at the worries for my friend¡¯s safety. ¡°She¡¯d gotten away with little more than a mild concussion. Due to her injuries she was unconscious for a bit of time but had come back together quite well. The one that you should be worried about is yourself.¡±
¡°I feel just fine. I think I¡¯m well enough to leave this place by tonight. But I would really appreciate if I could see Juna.¡±
¡°Take a moment to relax. You¡¯ll be able to see her soon enough, but I couldn¡¯t, in good conscience, let you leave until I¡¯d made sure for myself that you¡¯re in the right condition to. And besides, you haven¡¯t heard the most important part of the event you¡¯d endured.¡±
I respectfully but reluctantly do as she requests. Reclining deeper into the bed, I keep my eyes on her and sigh deeply.
¡°I¡¯d thought that it had might be best that you¡¯d hear it from someone you yourself have a personal history with. So as we¡¯d been talking, I¡¯d sent out a notice for her to come and pay you a visit.¡±
At the end of her statement, a knocking clacks at the door.
¡°It seems that she¡¯s arrived with the most impeccable timing. It¡¯s okay to come in.¡± She calls to notify the visitor behind the door.
As the door sweeps open, I feel relieved at the sight of a woman with darker violet hair. She approaches and her usually elegant and confident face is uncharacteristically downcast. Though she does her best to quickly put that look away as our eyes meet.
¡°Plutia. It¡¯s good to see you.¡±
¡°Khiron¡ I¡¯m grateful that you¡¯re coming along. It¡¯s good to see you as well.¡± She gives a light sigh. ¡°Thank you for notifying me first thing, Hyla. I came as quickly as I could.¡±
¡°Of course. It¡¯s the least I could do.¡±
After their small greeting, Plutia takes the seat by my bed and the two discuss simple matters before Hyla passes the torch off to her.
¡°Now, Khiron. This is likely going to come as quite a shock to you, so just unwind listen to what I have to tell you.¡±
She folds her hands in her lap, tentative and uncertain despite her usual confidence. Piecing it together in her mind, she heaves another sigh as she finds her place to begin.
¡°Hyla had already told you well enough that you¡¯d met quite a shocking fate. There were plenty of knights and paramedics who¡¯d laid eyes on you and couldn¡¯t help but think that you¡¯d looked like the reaper was breathing down your back.¡±
¡°I understand that I¡¯d been gravely injured, but I¡¯m doing very well right now. I have all of my limbs, my digits, I don¡¯t really feel any notable pain. For all that I can tell, I think I¡¯m ready to be off.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure that you¡¯re more than eager to return to work, and it is extremely important work, but it can wait for a bit. We¡¯ll manage all that we can.¡±
She nods her head as a gesture to settle myself down even further despite my hangups.
¡°I¡¯m not sure how to say this¡¡±
Yet another pause keeps her as she continues to struggle. Exchanging glances with Hyla, Plutia finally gathers the last sum of courage she needs to come right out and say it.
¡°You¡¯d died, Khiron. You were dead for an entire day.¡±
I can hardly believe what I hear. Stunned silence is all I have as my response as I¡¯m held fast to her violet eyes. Somewhere in there, I think to myself, must be a sign that she¡¯s being facetious. Yet the way she stares into me makes it clear that she¡¯s absolutely serious.
¡°I was¡ dead?¡±
My mind turns in on itself and takes me back into the deadly halls of the Zodiac Prison. Remembering the hissing of the large, metal doors as they opened. The prisoners I¡¯d witnessed in their cells either emaciated and poor or laying in dried, dark puddles.
I slowly rise from my bed and as Plutia and Hyla give an attempt to prevent me, I gently hold up a hand to both of them. They pause in their tracks and simply watch me as I rise to my feet. I¡¯m stable, without a single flinch or sign of weakness as I make way to the window. I open it up and lean outside to stare up at the sky.
The sunset light falls upon the far off hilltops and shines through the city with large, streaking rays of gold. Not a single sign of glass to be found, no stars held captive. Yet while I stare out to the streets beneath, I receive flashbacks to the streets of Stelaris that lived in a lull under the watchful moon that was as much of a prisoner as the citizens.
¡°Khiron¡ what is it?¡± Plutia asks me, dueling with worry.
¡°It¡¯s nothing. I¡¯d just needed to see the sky. I¡¯d wanted to confirm something for myself.¡±
I stand still, staring out for a moment longer when I begin to wonder to myself.
¡°Fortino¡ could you still be alive? Or was it all just a dream?¡±
Chapter Two: All Contained in an Empty Chair
I¡¯d died.
Despite the time that had passed since mine and Plutia¡¯s conversation, her words replay endlessly in my mind. After Hyla had left on her way to complete her remaining tasks in regards to my case, I¡¯d spoken with Plutia for the what was left of the twilight hour.
Up above in the sky is only a sliver of moonlight peering down to the capital city of Empyrea. I¡¯d been told that although I¡¯d been dead for an entire day, I¡¯d remained in an unconscious state for 2 more after I¡¯d returned to life and had suddenly stabilized. Though it was brief, my time away had felt like it had been so much longer.
There in Stelaris with Fortino. Locked away within the glass boundaries of the Zodiac Prison. From all that I can recall, it feels as if I¡¯d been gone for weeks. But therew as no way that could be possible, I¡¯d only been unconscious for around 72 hours. Yet that would be the best way I could state it.
While I continue staring out to the heavens, I continue attempting to hold fast to those memories I¡¯d gained while away. After so long of having seen the full moon shining through glass, it feels unreal to see the free, changeable moon once more. I keep my eyes fixed on it not only as I¡¯m lost to my own thoughts, but to also bide my time until I can see the woman I¡¯m waiting for.
¡°I¡¯m sorry, dear. You see, the reason I¡¯d kept using the word if when speaking of Juna is because¡ well¡ she¡¯s going through much right now. Hyla had already made it known to her that you wish to see her but it may take her a little more time to sort herself out.¡±
Plutia¡¯s words on the matter.
While time had become an enigma to me, an hour had passed since Plutia had left and there were still no signs of Juna¡¯s arrival.
I continue meditating over all that I¡¯d been told to give myself relief from my constant wondering of everything I¡¯d experienced while asleep.
Celine had called off from all of her classes in order to keep watch over Juna. She¡¯d done her best to care for her while I was away.
Neptanie had picked her weary body up with the help of Mercy in order to visit the most prominent shrine in the city. There she had offered her prayers and had pushed herself even more to be there for the others.
Marcia kept claim of her place beside Venna the entire time, never letting her be alone with her depression. Venna herself was sedentary but had quickly regained her appetite when news had arrived that I¡¯d pulled through by some form of a miracle.
Jupa¡¯s means of managing her own sorrow had been to make herself even more busy with her work around the manor. She¡¯d found herself cooking more than anyone could eat. By Celine¡¯s idea, a good portion of the food was donated to local orphanages.
¡°I¡¯m sorry for troubling everyone, but I¡¯d had no other choice. I could never live with myself if something happened to Juna.¡± I sigh while contemplating it all. ¡°It¡¯s enough that I have to deal with this scar, just what would everyone think if they¡¯d heard me ramble about some world of glass?¡±
I¡¯m pulled from introspection when I hear the sound of knocking at my door. Though timid to hold confidence that it would be Juna, I feel my heart pick up at the sound.
¡°Please come in.¡±
And so they do.
Peeking through the slowly opening door is the sight of red. Red, soft bangs and matching red eyes. Clad in a pink, summer shirt and simple blue shorts, it¡¯s her.
As she steps into the dim room, I can scarcely see the more subtle appearances of her face. I¡¯m given to my first impulse to draw near to her.
¡°Juna. I¡¯m so grateful to see you, I-¡±
¡°P-Please don¡¯t come too close.¡± She interrupts my greeting with a wavering voice.
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¡°Why? I¡¯m just grateful you¡¯re here. I¡¯ve been hoping to see you. More than anything. I¡¯m glad to see you¡¯re well, but¡¡±
I take another step forward and give her a closer look. Her eyes are darkened and bloodshot while her skin is ghostly pale. A vapor of anxiety mist in my heart at the sight.
¡°Hyla had told me that you¡¯d made it through with little more than a concussion. I can¡¯t even begin to describe how grateful I am But, is there something wrong? You¡¯re looking so unwell.¡±
¡°I¡¯m fine¡ I¡¯m fine and there¡¯s nothing wrong with my body.¡±
¡°There¡¯s far more to your health than your body. What¡¯s the matter, Juna? Will you let me know? And please don¡¯t tire yourself out standing. Come, have a seat with me.¡± I gesture over to the chair that is set by the window and before mine.
Her movements are stiff, catching on each other with a blatant uncertainty. But she manages to shift herself into gear and joins me towards our meeting place by the faint moonlight. She takes her seat but becomes shy in herself. Gripping strongly to the legs of her shorts, she peers down to her hands which tightly grasp their fabric.
¡°It¡¯s a relief beyond reliefs you¡¯re here. I was on edge the entire time thinking of what could have happened to you. Even if I was already told your condition, I really couldn¡¯t rest until I¡¯d seen you myself.¡±
I keep my eyes fixed on her no matter how she shrinks away beneath my gaze. With the watery look to her eyes, it seems as though tears are bordering to flow.
¡°If you¡¯re worried about me, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m in such fine condition that the hospital had given me a change of casual clothes to rest about in. I¡¯m certain that I¡¯ll be back in the manor by tomorrow.¡±
And silence comes in return. She shakes lightly where she sits. No matter my intentions, it feels as if I¡¯ve pushed the wrong button. I take a deep breath and give another attempt to help her to ease.
¡°I take it that¡¯s not the issue at hand here. Did something happen while I was asleep? Even just hearing the start of it would be nice.¡±
Her curled fists tighten into strangling force in her lap. The shaking in her body evolves into jerks and strained hiccups for air.
¡°¡You weren¡¯t asleep¡¡± I see small tears begin to drop with a tiny glimmer of the dim moonlight. ¡°¡You were dead¡¡±
¡°¡I¡¯d heard that yourself and everyone had received that news. But I¡¯m not dead anymore. It feels funny that I get to say something so absurd.¡± I chuckle to myself, hoping to lighten the mood but it¡¯s to no avail. ¡°When I came back to life, all it really was at that point was sleep. So I¡¯d slept for a bit and had a few dreams, but now I¡¯m here without a scratch on me. It¡¯s just about miraculous how well they¡¯d taken care of me.¡±
¡°¡You¡¯d died¡ You were gone¡ and it was all my fault¡¡±
¡°It wasn¡¯t. You shouldn¡¯t kick yours-¡±
¡°No!¡±
Her voice bursts out with a flame on her tongue. She snaps her face to front before mine. Two trails of icy tears run openly down her cheeks, her eyes are knit tight and overcome with a deep, heartrending pain. By a sight alone I¡¯m cut deep to the core and the scar blazes its pain across my chest.
¡°I¡¯d watched you die! I¡¯d watched your last breath! I¡¯d seen you leave and it was all my fault! I know you¡¯d died and I know that I¡¯d taken your life! I can¡¯t just give that a hand wace! I don¡¯t deserve to be before you right now! I don¡¯t deserve your kindness like this!¡±
The sharp breathing, the whimpering tones come out clearly with her impassioned words. I¡¯m at once returned to the age an old memory. Under the summer rain where her heart was breaking before me but she was so distant, unwilling to come near.
Once more trapped in such a dire situation as an onlooker. I can feel my blood freezing. While listening to her breathing growing more erratic, her anger, self loathing and immense sorrow blasting out in her quivering body and her heated fists, I think as quickly as I can.
If I reach out to her, it¡¯ll likely hurt her even more.
If I speak, she¡¯ll only feel more guilty.
If I stand up and leave her for her own space, she¡¯ll think of it as evidence showing her that she¡¯s right.
If I told her the truth of how much I love her, it¡¯d shatter her to pieces.
The image of her falling on her own sword replays in my mind and an intense feeling of despair lacerates me.
¡°What can I do?¡±
But it¡¯s all too late and all too short.
The sound of her chair clattering onto the floor remains after she has already launched into full sprint. Out the door, the sound of its slamming is my last company as she leaves me alone beneath the moon and the stars.
I only stare at the place she once was, wishing she was still there before me. Wishing I had taken the risk to catch her and pull her close. If I¡¯d done something, maybe it could have played out differently this time.
¡°I¡¯m sorry to give you grave news at this time, but while you were gone, Pride had opened. We have done our best to quarantine the area and we did the best that we could. But try as we had, we couldn¡¯t prevent all fatalities. Whether or not you¡¯ve recovered, you¡¯ll have need to move quickly.¡±
In my moment of despair, Plutia¡¯s final words return to me while my mind is full of Juna.
Chapter Three: Destined Encounter
¡°The stars of that dream were beautiful. In their own way. But it¡¯s wonderful to see Celestia¡¯s own after all this time.¡± I catch my own slip and breathe another sigh to myself. ¡°What am I saying? Celestia¡¯s own? Stelaris¡ may not have been anything but my own delusions from death. Or¡ could it have been the underworld?¡±
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¡°Equo.¡± His face lights up at the very mention of that small town. ¡°I¡¯d lived there for a good bit of my life and it wasn¡¯t until recent that I¡¯d found myself posted here in the big city. I¡¯d been gratefully allowed to keep this uniform while I work here. I have a personal attachment to it, so I¡¯m grateful for that consideration.¡±
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¡°¡®Celestia¡¯s Angel¡¯? She¡¯s said not only be breathtakingly beautiful, but also a prodigy in medicine. It must have made things a bit easier to have woken to her.¡±
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¡°Fate and destiny.¡± I start pondering to myself. ¡°The difference of the two is that fate is a path that we can¡¯t avoid but destiny is a path that we choose. Solus used to tell me that. That maybe we are fated to be who we are but the path we walk is ultimately our own choice in destination.¡±
¡°Then what of my life? And what should I do to help Juna? There have been too many mysteries lately and too few answers.¡±
¡°Suppose it may need a bit of TLC or a battery check.¡±
Chapter Four: On Time
¡°Your skeletal structure is looking complete. Not a bone cracked or out of place. You¡¯re in perfect condition, maybe even better given how it¡¯s all mended together. How marvelous.¡±
Early in the morning, Hyla had come to finish her work with me. She¡¯d immediately began her next series of health checks, taking a meticulous look to find any faults in my body. Even with her best mind put forward and some fellow doctor¡¯s own opinions given, I¡¯m found faultless.
The full beam she wears shines even more brightly than the light box that illuminates the x-rays she¡¯d collected. An aura of high pride nearly forms a bouquet about her. There is a pleased she wears as she cradles her left elbow and graces her cheek with the light touch of her fingertips.
¡°I must say, you have quite a charming bone structure. It¡¯s all so remarkably pieced together. So strong, held with such confidence, you¡¯ve taken wonderful care of your body.¡±
Continuing to stare openly, so lost in focus on the images lit up on the white, I¡¯m on standby for her next word but it arrives quite late.
¡°It¡¯s been a busy morning. With this, would you say that I¡¯m in good enough health to be released?¡±
¡°O-Oh! Right! Yes, my apologies!¡± She begins to fidget to find a comfortable stance, a cute pinkness now raising up her complexion. ¡°I¡¯d intended to discuss that with you, but I¡¯d gotten a bit¡ lost in thought.¡±
Her tempo of mind returns to pace. She seats herself on a rolling chair and brings it near with a single push. On the path towards me she¡¯d swiped her clipboard from off the counter and begins to flip through its pages.
¡°Your blood. It has proper levels for all nutrients, the white blood cell count is where it should be, your wounds have mended finely and there are no signs of permanent damage to any internal organs. Most importantly; your brain is in wonderful condition. From a visual it has no discernible marks from trauma.¡±
¡°From all that I¡¯ve understood what I¡¯d stated has been confirmed. I¡¯m in fine condition and it¡¯d be natural if I were to continue my duties.¡±
¡°You¡¯re quite eager, aren¡¯t you? Seeing how passionate our Celestial Knight is is a treat, but there¡¯s more to discuss than your discharge from this hospital.¡±
I rest my arms onto my knees and show her that I¡¯m all ears.
¡°It is true that from all we¡¯ve observed you seem to be good to get back home. But this isn¡¯t enough to satisfy my concerns.¡± Her piercing blue eyes are firmly set on mine, they affirm all of the intent of her words. ¡°If I were able to, I would keep you here for a few more nights, but given the news that I¡¯ve received, it seems that would be an issue for the kingdom.¡±
Sighing with fingers knitted together above her paperwork, she glances about my body and then back to my eyes.
¡°Your services are of the utmost importance given the current condition of Pride so I will be signing your discharge. But¡¡± she speaks firmly, leaving no room for backtalk, ¡°¡I will continue my evaluation for a given period of time with daily checks to make for absolute certain you are in fact back to health. What you¡¯d experienced shouldn¡¯t at all be taken lightly, especially given your importance to the kingdom.
¡°Preparations have already been made for my admittance into the manor you are currently residing in. It had been decided for a number of reasons including, but not limited to, the convenience of communication and the evaluation you will be subject to in the coming time.¡±
¡°You¡¯re going to be living in Celestial Manor? That would solve an issue of time. It¡¯d steal time away to go the distance daily if it were necessary. I¡¯m grateful you¡¯re willing to go that far.¡±
¡°It won¡¯t be just a daily examination if I can have a say in it. I would desire to monitor you throughout the day if I could, but I¡¯ve been asked by the kingdom to relent. Instead I will be keeping it to twice a day. It is the least I can do for you and it¡¯s my honor to be of your assistance. B-Besides¡¡±
Her skin begins to flush and she gently lips the clipboard to her lips, tapping it close to her nose and retraining her gaze towards the x-rays.
¡°I¡¯d mentioned that it was not limited to my services as a doctor. But that¡¯s a bridge to cross at a later point in time.¡±
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Coming back down, she lowers the clipboard.
¡°Point of discussion being that I have been assigned as your personal care specialist during your tenure as the Celestial Knight. It was decided long ago, but personal and professional matters were at hand keeping me from formally being introduced to you at an earlier time. My apologies that it is so late coming.¡±
¡°I believe I¡¯d heard that I¡¯d be meeting a physician who would be my help. I¡¯m grateful to have finally met you though I wish it could have been on less grave circumstances.¡±
¡°It¡¯s simply a part of the job. I¡¯d studied for all of my years to be of service to those who need a hand with their health. It¡¯s my joy to serve you, Celestial Knight Khiron.¡±
She outstretches her hand and I take it in my own to affirm our new bond with a simple shake. All the while there¡¯s a sweet smile that brings a glow to the angelic features of her countenance with an incontestable serenity.
? ? ?
¡°Lunch time! Lunch time! It¡¯s time for your protein!¡±
I¡¯m given the most unorthodox reunion with one spunky brunette. In each each hand extends long wrapped packages that could nearly need a flagger to guarantee their clearance. The energy she gives off is enough to make me feel a bit more light on my feet with a single word from her lips.
I¡¯d already had my belongings collected and was readying to be on the go when she¡¯d wandered into my room.
¡°Aren¡¯t you a sight for sore eyes, Mercy.¡± I give into a light chuckling. ¡°I¡¯d only had something light earlier so I could use something more hearty to eat.¡±
¡°I¡¯d expected about as much so I¡¯d gotten a few of these bad boys from my work.¡±
¡°Work? Since when have you been working? It¡¯s only been 3 days.¡±
¡°Truth be told, I¡¯d been looking for a job for a few days before all of the shenanigans stormed on in. I¡¯d felt a bit too complacent and needed a little something to shake it up. I¡¯d thought some work on the side for a smidgen of time would be fun enough.¡±
¡°What about your exercise and that old job you¡¯d had?¡±
¡°Like hell I¡¯d ever return to that mess. It got boring real quick. The grind never ends. And besides, this little gig will likely only roll on for a month before I get on my way out. Here¡¯s a specialty we¡¯re selling. Try it out.¡±
She lobs one of her carries and I catch it. Beneath the wrapping is a breaded sandwich loaded with toppings and a well cooked meat peeking out from beneath.
¡°It¡¯s our cherry wood smoked chicken long bread sandwich! Available for a limited time only!¡±
¡°Can¡¯t fault you for your salesmanship, but why is it so¡ huge? It¡¯s almost as long as my arm.¡±
¡°Thought you¡¯d be hungry after being laid out like that. You need a good intake if you¡¯re going to be the backbone of this island so you¡¯d best get to eating.¡±
Though unspoken, I feel deeply touched by her gesture. Mercy is an odd duck, that¡¯s for sure. An odd duck among odd ducks. Being less the openly sentimental type, I can tell that this is her own way of showing her care.
I glance up from the sandwich and see her already voraciously consuming a mouthful. Despite her perhaps diminutive stature, she¡¯s already devoured a few sizable chunks. I deem that in return, the best way to say thanks isn¡¯t to get sappy; it¡¯s to follow suit. So I do.
¡°I¡¯d expected you¡¯d be out quickly. Given how much you¡¯d-¡±
Plutia strides in and stops short as she sees the two of us standing around eating ludicrously sized sandwiches.
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¡°It¡¯s not all that bad. If it¡¯s limited then it¡¯s going to be a shame when they stop selling it.¡± Plutia remarks as the three of us wander our way back home with our meals.
She herself was spared chunks of our own thanks to a kindly surgeon who spared a knife for us to divvy them up.
¡°It¡¯ll stop selling after July so there¡¯s still time. But that¡¯s always how these places get you.¡± Mercy comments after gulping down her latest bite. ¡°They make something this good and tempt you to keep coming. If I ran the business, I¡¯d be experimenting like nobody could believe.¡±
¡°If I were to run a restaurant, I suppose I¡¯d make sure that it¡¯d serve as fine of delicacies as it could.¡± So responds Plutia.
¡°Man, that¡¯d be awesome. I¡¯d definitely eat at your place if that was a thing.¡±
¡°Hate to interrupt the food chat, but I¡¯d really like to know how the others have been doing lately.¡± I reluctantly inquire.
¡°Mopey but not as mopey.¡± Then Mercy takes another bite.¡±
¡°They¡¯ve been handling themselves well. We¡¯ve all missed you, so be prepared when you cross that doorway.¡±
I nod my head and sink back into my introspection. Though it went unsaid, I could tell that the two were purposefully avoiding mentioning the one that I¡¯d wished to hear about the most.
Despite that today was the day I¡¯d depart from the hospital, Juna hadn¡¯t come by to walk me back home. And so that scar pays me a bitter sting to top off my dour thoughts.
Towards the manor we go.
To Juna.
Chapter Five: Return, Reception
Breaching the entryway to the manor, I¡¯m first greeted by the intense embrace of one lavender haired woman. Not a word had fallen from her lips as she had sprinted headlong for me and threw her arms around me. The gentlest quivering of her body tips me off to her emotional makeup at the moment.
¡°It¡¯s wonderful to see you, Venna.¡± I place my hand on her head and gently run my fingers through her soft locks. ¡°It feels like it¡¯s been quite a while, doesn¡¯t it?¡±
¡°Khiron¡¡± She mutters, continuing to plant her face firmly against my chest. ¡°I¡ I¡¯d thought I¡¯d never see you again. I was so scared.¡±
¡°Sorry for giving you such a scare. I¡¯ll try my best to make this the one and only time.¡±
¡°You¡¯re finally back. Took you long enough.¡± A redhead comes striding up from behind her.
Marcia makes her way to us with an uncharacteristic smile on her face. Usually she would be positively dripping with a smugness or would come bearing a sadistic gleam in her eye. Yet this time she comes across as sentimental and genuine.
¡°Here I was thinking you were just going to play hooky on your job.¡±
¡°I couldn¡¯t even dream it. The hospital had gladly let me off on good behavior.¡±
¡°Of course they would for some goody two shoes like you.¡±
While Marcia¡¯s smile grows wider, Mercy snickers to herself off by my side.
¡°Careful there. If I didn¡¯t know any better I¡¯d say that this little event has made you warm up to him.¡±
¡°I can greet a friend who¡¯s been through hell and high water without being so accused, can¡¯t I?¡± Marcia fires back, only lightly flustered.
¡°So he¡¯s your friend now? I¡¯d say that¡¯s positive development.¡±
¡°Master! Master!¡± Out beyond the foyer comes a desperate voice.
Picking up her dress and running towards me is a cute and innocent woman garbed in a maid¡¯s dress. She brings me into a fresh shock the moment she falls to her knees and latches herself around my leg.
¡°Master, you¡¯re here! You¡¯re safe!¡±
¡°Jupa, you-¡±
¡°When I¡¯d heard the news, I couldn¡¯t believe it. I¡¯d rather have heard that the sun had been extinguished from the sky! I promise that I¡¯ll do even better for you! I¡¯ll make you something special tonight and-¡±
¡°I¡¯m grateful for your concern, Jupa. But-¡±
¡°Master!¡± Jupa cries out while she begins to sway my leg.
¡°Khiron!¡± Venna speaks through her tears, now holding me by my arm, shaking me while in the throws of her intense emotions.
¡°Master!¡±
¡°Khiron!¡±
¡°Y-You two! I-¡±
¡°Look who¡¯s as popular as ever.¡± An elegant yet disinterested sounding voice cuts through the clamor of the two who are hopelessly lost in their own worlds. ¡°By the looks of it, you¡¯d might have become even more popular at this point.¡±
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Celine comes out from a hallway and into the foyer with Neptanie in tow. The likes of which is currently struggling to keep herself standing, a heavy sway of fatigue present in her steps.
¡°I¡¯d dreamed you would return¡ I¡¯m happy to see it¡¯s more than a dream now.¡± Neptanie¡¯s tired voice is barely audible among the commotion of the two.
Gratefully Venna and Jupa both slowly come down from their moment. But that doesn¡¯t change the fact that they yet latch onto me tightly.
¡°I¡¯d say he seems to have become even more popular with you as well, Celine. Given that you¡¯d gone off to visit him plenty while he was out cold.¡± A snarky accent is found in Plutia¡¯s voice.
¡°I¡¯d say. You know, he still has a right arm open if you¡¯d like to get your own piece real estate.¡± Not missing a single beat, Mercy mocks her with a full smirk riding high.
¡°Shut it. I don¡¯t have time for your shenanigans. I¡¯m taking Neptanie to her room, she needs her rest.¡±
Quickly turning her back to us with a huff, she commits to assisting Neptanie up the stairs, though Neptanie herself looks back tiredly, seeming to desire to stay and visit.
¡°A little too cold, don¡¯t you think. It¡¯s not like he¡¯d died or anything.¡± Marcia¡¯s word serves as a sharp edge. ¡°Maybe after you get Neptanie settled you can come and say hello to him. He deserves at least that much.¡±
¡°I supposed I¡¯d might take some time to catch up afterward. But for now I¡¯d might as well say¡¡± She continues her ascent for a scant moment before coming to a pause. Lightly knifing her body, she looks back at me while pink brushes her cheek. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you¡¯re still alive and well. Welcome back.¡±
Then resumes her support for Neptanie and reconvenes her ascent.
¡°She¡¯s not entirely a lost cause, maybe.¡± Marcia mumbles after a solid sigh.
¡°I think you¡¯re just a bit shy on the conclusion there.¡± Mercy answers with a tickling of irony.
¡°I¡¯m beyond grateful for the welcoming and I¡¯d love to spend some more time, but I have something I need to do. Really, I¡¯m a bit of nerves and I know that I won¡¯t be able to rest until I¡¯ve gone about it. I¡¯d ask to be pardoned on my way.¡±
It¡¯s a little bit of a fight, but I gently pry Venna from my body. Next I give Jupa a subtle sign and help her back to her feet.
¡°You¡¯d like to see Juna, wouldn¡¯t you?¡± Asks Plutia, a reluctant slant now drawing near to her lip.
¡°The only way I can breathe is if I can check on her.¡±
¡°Well, she¡¯s locked herself up in her room but¡ things haven¡¯t gotten any better.¡±
¡°As much as it spites me to say it, that¡¯s really how it¡¯ll be.¡± I rough up my hair a bit and contemplate to myself. ¡°You know, I¡ have an odd feeling that this isn¡¯t how things are meant to be. Not like this, not for this long.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡± Venna chimes in, a curiosity full and bright in her lavender eyes.
¡°It¡¯s¡ hard to explain. But it¡¯d be right to try.¡±
I glance from face to face and get my mind together before delivering my thoughts.
¡°It feels like something more has been wrong. Not in an obvious, apparent way. It¡¯s as if all of what has been happening to Juna, to everyone was never meant to be this way. It feel like I¡¯d woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but rather than just having come into a bad way, it¡¯s as if¡ I¡¯m in a way that never should have been.¡±
¡°That¡¯s a bit¡ complicated.¡± Mercy dons her rare, serious disposition, having earnestly listened to me. ¡°If I¡¯m understanding what you¡¯d said correctly; you feel as if you¡¯re not where you should be?¡±
¡°That may be a better way of putting it, but it still feels like it¡¯s falling a bit short. Maybe it¡¯s just because of the concussion I¡¯d suffered. Maybe I¡¯m just thinking strangely. Even if my body is fine, I¡¯ve been feeling odd. As if I¡¯m somewhere else.¡±
¡°It sounds like something Neptanie would take great interest in hearing for herself. But you shouldn¡¯t worry yourself over it. It¡¯s a lot to spring back from so it makes perfect sense if you¡¯re not feeling yourself right now.¡± So adds Plutia.
¡°I can begin to help however you¡¯d want me to. Maybe you just need a bit of care for now. I can draw a bath, make you something to eat, anything you¡¯d ask.¡± Jupa gives me her kindness in exchange for my shared thoughts.
¡°I think for now it¡¯s best that I¡¯d go and do what I need to. What I need to for both of our sake. But when I return, I may take you up on your offer.¡±
¡°I understand. Thank you, master.¡± She dips into a graceful bow conflicting wildly with her previous uncontrolled mania.
¡°For now there¡¯s no use talking about it like this. I¡¯ll do something in the meantime. I¡¯ll be going ahead now.¡±
The five bid me good luck and I get my start. Fighting against the heaviness now gathering in my chest like a weighted stone, I give my due efforts to replace it with the best outlooks I can bring to mind.
Forward to Juna.
Chapter Six: Bitter Tears
I take another breath and one last pause to steel my convictions as I draw nearer to Juna¡¯s room. When I stand before her doorway I¡¯m shaken to the depths of my soul.
The sight of her doorway shut tight is such a simple sight. Yet even though its wooden surface is the epitome of mundane, it carries all of the feeling of a fortress wall. But I give it my best to give its intimidation no quarter and force myself to rap on the door.
¡°Juna. It¡¯s me.¡± A cold silence comes back to me. ¡°I¡¯d been declared to have fantastic health so they¡¯d cleared me to go free.¡±
Despite my difficulty to believe she would respond, I give her an opening to speak. As regrettably expected, it¡¯s as quiet as a cemetery on the other side of the door.
¡°I was hoping that I would get the chance to see you. I¡¯d missed you on the way out from that place. You¡¯ve been on my mind the whole way through. I¡¯d heard that you¡¯d suffered a concussion from the incident. I¡¯d be grateful to see you again and see how you¡¯re doing myself.¡±
Still no change in circumstances.
¡°There is a medical practitioner who will be staying with us. If not myself, then I hope that you¡¯ll allow her to keep up on your health.¡±
This next bout brings a heavy laden sigh from my chest. I glance away and down the hall for a moment of psychological reprieve before I return attention to her doorway. Then and there I¡¯m leveled by a most indescribable and nearly barbaric sensation.
My mind is filled to overflowing like a cup submerged by a tidal wave. Images, all the same vision flash in my mind as I stare forward. Feeling outside of myself a thousand times yet still standing in my own body. That door becomes more vivid and real than anything else, like a layered image reaching greater depths with all of the collected samplings which converge.
¡°Have I¡? I¡¯ve seen this before. Everything that has happened in this conversation has happened before.¡±
I struggle in the darkness of disbelief but a light beneath it all illuminates a feeling which is impossible to deny.
Deja vu.
I¡¯m paralyzed still. Feeling the moment, overwhelmed by its sheer magnitude. I strain myself and give pursuit to know if this feeling is truth or if it¡¯s something brought on by my hospitalization.
¡°Where do I go from here? I need to do something. Anything¡!¡±
In those endlessly flashing experiences that feel like a delusion and a reality all the same, I witness pale skin. Not a breath more being breathed. That thought breaks me from my indecision and stupor. I boldly place my hand on the doorknob and know beyond shadow of a doubt that it¡¯s been left unlocked. It opens simply so and I step inside.
The books on the desk, the dimness of the room from the pulled blinds¡ her form laying curled on her bed beneath her covers. It comes back to me yet it¡¯s all new. The one thing I know is that I must act.
¡°I won¡¯t be apologizing for my intrusion.¡±
An indomitable courage comes to my heart. I step forward into her room and towards her bed. Against the image of her tears in the rain, the wound on her chest and all that comes with it, I call an end to the fears which wreathed me in chains.
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¡°No more. I¡¯m not going to step down and let myself be so aimless and pathetic.¡± I speak boldly and demand strength from myself. ¡°That person isn¡¯t me. That¡¯s not who I am. And this isn¡¯t the Juna I know.¡±
I seat myself on her bedside and face towards her where she rests. She quickly places the cover over her head and cowers.
¡°I didn¡¯t get the chance to tell you what I¡¯d really felt when you were there in the hospital with me.¡± I say with a sharp intake to give fuel to the fire burning in me. ¡°I was so damn frustrated. I¡¯ve been so damn frustrated.¡±
By the light flinching of her body I can tell well that she¡¯s listening and my confession has found its place.
¡°Feeling so afraid to make the wrong move, afraid that anything I could do would only make things worse. I was so worried that I¡¯d might push too hard on accident. I¡¯d felt so hopelessly lost.
¡°Watching you rot away but feeling like too much of an idiot to try. With all of these thoughts and feelings just making a mess of me. All that I wished I could say and do but holding myself back every single time as I gave into the fear that keeps sabotaging me every step of the way.¡±
I grab the curtains and thrust them open to look outdoors and towards the bluer skies above. Having a moment of thought while watching a cloud, catching the quickly shifting tones of my mind to continue my thought.
¡°I¡¯ve held myself back from you for stupid reasons I¡¯d never once spoken to anyone. I may not be able to speak of it now, but I will someday. Maybe someday soon. And you¡¯re going to be there with me then. Always, just as we¡¯ve been together for all of these years.
¡°Everything that happened was a mistake. Mistakes from our own emotions going awry. I could never hold anything against you. What happened is no exception. If you¡¯d had intended to kill me, I wouldn¡¯t think twice to forgive you for it. All that I was grateful for was that you were still alive. I wouldn¡¯t need anything more than that. When I woke up and heard that you were alive and well, it was an amazing relief.¡±
Returning my sights from the heavens, I peer back down to her laying hidden before me.
¡°I understand that all that¡¯s troubling constitutes more than this, but you need to hear this from me and I won¡¯t back down. Because it¡¯s the truth.
¡°That night long ago beneath the rain scarred me. All of my failures I¡¯d believed myself to have made had made me afraid that I would cause you nothing but distress if I made the wrong move. So I made the mistake of walking on eggshells and handling you as if you were made of glass when what I should have done was pull you out of this room and do everything possible to help you after what you¡¯d faced.¡±
I sigh deeply as the next confession coming is one for myself first and then for her.
¡°Ever since I¡¯d woken up in that hospital bed, I¡¯ve been feeling like I hadn¡¯t been myself. As if I hadn¡¯t been who I truly am for the longest time. Longer than I can remember. For all the blessings I¡¯ve had of my dreams coming true, I¡¯ve begun to realize just how many more of my dreams would be already have been reality if only I hadn¡¯t sold myself cheap and thought less of who I am.
¡°After all of my time, after all of the wasted moments thinking that I couldn¡¯t have those dreams, how much further and how much more wonderful could our lives have been together if only I¡¯d been myself?¡±
A silence returns and not a word is exchanged between the two of us. Having spoken my mind, I get up from the bed and prepare to be on my way. Holding the door in my hand, thinking to myself for one final moment, I hear her covers rustling.
¡°I¡ I¡¯m sorry that I can¡¯t speak right now.¡± She mutters depressed.
I turn around to see her facing the window. Peering out from it, her expression is kept a secret for all but the sky. Her disheveled blouse is wrinkled from her sorrowful recluse.
¡°I¡¯m sorry for everything, Khiron. But I¡ I¡¡± She shivers with her sadness. I can tell that a great part of this sorrow is for the fact she worries what her confession will do to me. ¡°I¡ don¡¯t want to be a knight anymore.¡±
The words embed in my breast like a knife but I endure their bitter edge. Though unreasonable, I¡¯d had a premonition those words were coming shortly and when they¡¯ve been let out, that sense of deja vu returns. I stare at her form outlined by the noon light and see all of its beauty.
¡°I understand¡ but this isn¡¯t over yet. And you¡¯re not over yet. I don¡¯t care what you have to say, think or feel about that. That feeling is going to change.¡±
Though those words could sound cold and heartless, they¡¯re a promise from the bottom of my heart and from all the love I have for her. No matter what, she¡¯ll be a knight yet and I¡¯ll make her dreams come true myself if I must.
I let her be and depart from her for the day.