《Mate Killer》


 Chapter 1: The loneliest Day without Salt

    I was home alone. Dad had already been gone for two weeks and I hoped he would be back soon. I was lonely. It was just my Dad and me. He wasn''t even my real Dad, but he was the person who raised me ever since he found me at the age of seven.


    I flipped the bacon and turned up the music. "Such a lonely day and it''s mine" I sang along with Serji while turning the bacon. I wasn''t a good singer and I couldn''t hit a note for the life of me, but this didn''t matter, as our small and cosy cottage was in the middle of the midnight forest. There was no other sentient being in our close proximity. Never had been. Without Dad, I was all alone in a forest that, as the name suggests, never saw the light of day.


    This meant I could sing as much as I desired without anyone being able to complain. I put the bacon on my plate and threw two eggs into the pan. Bacon with scrambled eggs, the thought alone made my mouth water.


    I grabbed the salt shaker and shook it. Nothing. I shook it again. Still nothing. I groaned. I knew I only had myself to blame, but why did past-me hate me so much?


    I opened the cabinet and searched for the salt package to refill the shaker, just to find an empty package. "Screw you past-me!" I cussed under my breath. I frowned. My lunch was ruined. I could only hope the bacon was salty enough to make up for the missing salt in the eggs.


    I added the eggs to my bacon and while dancing to the sofa in front of a huge TV the chorus had started and I loudly screeched along.


    "The most loneliest day of my life!"


    It made me feel better. I wish I could go with Dad, but he never took me with him when he went hunting. When Dad was home he would sing, Dad''s voice was the voice of an angel. So soft, so enchanting.


    "And if you go, I wanna go with you!" I sang while sitting down. I waited for the song to end before turning off the LP player and turning on the TV instead. I loved this song. "Netflix and chill it is. Then I wash myself and go to buy more salt. And whatever else is out." I sighed.


    "I hope you come back soon, Dad." I whispered after I finished my food. I missed him. I knew I should be used to him being gone for weeks at the time, but every time I missed him like crazy.


    I finished one episode of ''Wednesday'' before I headed towards the washing room. We didn''t have a functioning shower, but a fireplace that would heat up the water which had to be gotten from a nearby lake. By mixing the water I could get proper warm water which I then could dump over my head with a bucket.


    The fire had been burning the whole day, well night, so the water was already hot. I mixed it until I liked the temperature, then I washed myself. I checked the money stash we had - nearly empty. I groaned in frustration. At last, not like the salt, there was still some left, but I soon would need to find work again to earn more money.


    Dad didn''t really care about money, whatever he needed he just got. I had no idea how, but he did. I looked at this big collection of LPs. He would kill me if I sold them.


    Instead of getting dressed I put my outfit into a bag together with my favourite leather jacket, then I went outside naked and shifted into my wolf form. I was on the smaller side when it came to werewolves, but I was still bigger than any normal wolf. I shook my brown-beige fur before I grabbed the bag with my mouth and made my way through the ever dark forest.


    When I was young I would get lost easily in the forest, but nowadays I could easily find my way around. I crawled through a small tunnel, which was surrounded by large spiky plants and then I finally saw the sunlight.


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    I sniffed and when I couldn''t detect anyone near me I shifted and got dressed. It was a long walk to the next town but I didn''t mind. I enjoyed the little sun that was shining down through the treetops. I haven''t seen the sun in months. I looked at my pale skin with a frown. Dad always said he liked my skin like that. I actually preferred it darker, more like Dad''s skin, though I probably would never be able to have skin like Dad.


    His skin was a darkish grey. Unnatural. Dad wasn''t human, but neither was I. I was a shifter, a werewolf, and Dad was... honestly I didn''t know what Dad was, maybe a warlock? A wizard? He never told me and I never asked. I knew he could use spells and some weird blood magic. But I could too! He taught me some.


    Before I stepped out of the forest I stopped. I could feel it. The border. This town belonged to a pack. I groaned. I just wanted to go shopping! What should I do now? Wait for a border patrol and ask for permission to enter? Mask my scent and sneak in?


    I frowned. Dad was still gone, if I would sneak in and get caught they would probably throw me into a dungeon. Packs were that barbaric. I had already been in more than one. They were boring and uncomfortable and if I wouldn''t find a way to get out Dad would need to come and rescue me. I didn''t want this to happen again. He had been livid last time. I am not sure what exactly happened but that night the smell of blood had erased every other smell. It was also the first time Dad had hurt me. Afterwards. I couldn''t remember much anymore, everything from that was a blur, I just remember sharp pain on my back and waking up in Dads arm unable to move. Nothing was visible on my back when I checked a few days later after I was able to move again.


    Well that kind settled it. With a sigh I sat down. "Damn packs." I cursed under my breath. "Always fucking up my life."


    I hated packs. I would never belong to a pack ever again. I wouldn''t. I couldn''t.


    I frowned. I didn''t want to think about that, so instead I got up, wandering along the pack border, picking up flowers and braiding them into a wreath. I smelled them before I heard them. Then I saw them.


    Three young men. They were jogging along the border. Pack members. I couldn''t help but sneer. "Pathetic bitches kissing an Alpha''s arse." I thought. When they came closer I pushed my feelings down and instead smiled innocently at them.


    "Hi guys." I said confidently.


    "Rogue." Their leader growled.


    "Actually Gladys, but I guess no one has taught you manners in your pack." I replied, earning an even deeper growl. I mustered them.


    They were about my age, maybe a little older. They were werewolves, so of course they were good looking. Muscular, toned bodies. Their leader had dark brown hair and beautiful green eyes. Next to him was a tall blonde guy with clear blue eyes and the guy on the other side was a little shorter but he had gorgeous black locks and dark brown eyes.


    "What do you want?" The green eyed guy snarled.


    I kept my sweet smile, folding my hand on my back while leaning forwards, tilting my head. "Permission to enter the packlands to go to the store."


    "You''re a rogue." He was still growling.


    I chuckled and looked at his comrades.


    "Your leader doesn''t seem to be the sharpest knife. Can one of you use your mind link to ask the Alpha for permission so I can enter your lands to get to the store? Please?"


    They snickered while their leader''s ears reddened. He got red ears when angry, adorable! Wait what? Not adorable! I shook my head. What was I thinking?


    I could see one of their eyes getting unfocused as he mindlinked the pack. That was something only werewolves in a pack can do. Link their minds together and talk even over a great distance. I felt a dull ache at the thought that I would never be able to hear a pack in my head ever again. I would never again feel the bond and closeness of a pack.


    "Get a hold of yourself!" I scolded myself inwardly. I hated that it still hurt, even after all these years. Dad said this longing would never go away. I hoped he was wrong.


    "Alpha says it is okay but someone needs to accompany you."


    "I will." the leader snarled. "I don''t trust a rogue like her. What do you even need from the stores?"


    Salt." I mocked him.


    "Salt?" He repeated.


    "Really not the sharpest knife." I couldn''t help but tease him. He frowned at me, but I could see the tip of his ears had become red. Cute. Cute? What the fuck is wrong with me to today?


    "Well then let''s go!" I grinned and started walking towards town. It took him a moment to gain his composure back and follow me hastily.


    "You don''t even know where to go!" He yelled.


    "I have a nose." I corrected him. "Maybe you should learn to use yours too, or it is only for decoration?"


    He growled again but followed me quietly. I had to admit, it was fun teasing him!

 Chapter 2: Annoying Rogue

    I walked next to that Rogue. She was pretty. Pretty annoying.


    "Why are you a rogue?" I asked. For a second I thought I saw pain in her eyes, but then she grinned. Her eyes were a beautiful warm brown, nearly amber with golden spots in them.


    "''Cause I hate getting ordered around by stupid Alphas." She said, "and packs are pathetic." I heard her grumble under her breath.


    "That''s a stupid reason." I said, acting as if I didn''t hear the last part.


    "That''s your opinion. Everyone can have one. No matter how dumb they are." She mocked me and threw her head back. For a moment I couldn''t help but admire her hair. It was a warm black. Under the sun it nearly looked dark brown but in the shadows it was a warm black. I had never seen such a hair colour before.


    "Why are you really here? Are you a spy?" I asked. Was she really that stupid to think I would believe her story of needing to buy salt?


    "For shopping. Ever ate food without salt? It''s not that good." She explained in a voice as if she was talking to a little child, annoying me further.


    "Listen, rogue." I growled. She was getting under my skin.


    "Gladys." She interrupted me.


    "I won''t bother to learn the name of something like you."


    She shrugged.


    "Just proves how pathetic and narrow minded pack members are."


    "I am not..." I began but she laughed. Her laughter sounded beautiful. I wanted to hear it more often. I shook my head. What was I thinking? She was a rogue! Probably here to spy on us! Buying salt my ass!


    While we were walking down into town she kept humming a few notes and then stopped. I recognized the song immediately. It was Africa from Toto. Annoyed, I glanced at her but she just looked at me innocently.


    We still hadn''t talked again when we walked past the first house. She started laughing. It took me a minute to realise why she was laughing. I had subconsciously started humming the same song.


    "Gotcha." She grinned.


    "You!" I yelled. She did that on purpose! Her eyes were sparkling mischievously.


    "The best thing is you will have that song in your head for the rest of the week!" She taunted me. I growled. She was so annoying! Worst of all, she was right. This song was a nightmare! I would be having an earworm from that for the rest of the week!


    We soon reached the store and I followed her in. It felt weird, shopping with her. I rarely went to stores as I was living in the pack house and the adults mostly took care of the supplies and the cooking. The last time I went to buy groceries was like four years ago with my mom! Ever since I turned sixteen I moved into the pack house and in two weeks I would turn eighteen and hopefully meet my mate!


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    I followed her as she bought salt, pepper and different spices. Then she looked between the chips, popcorn and chocolate. I could see her frown and bite her lip.


    "Can I help you?" I asked.


    She shrugged.


    "What do you prefer? Chips, chocolate or popcorn? I can only afford one of these."


    "Why?" I asked.


    She looked at me annoyed. "''cause I don''t have more money?"


    I hesitated for a moment.


    "I can buy them for you. My treat."


    "Okay, thanks!" She smiled at me brightly. I was surprised. I had expected her to decline my offer.


    She saw my face and chuckled.


    "Dad always says fake politeness brings you nowhere."


    "You have a Dad?" I asked, confused. I always thought rogues were lone wolves that were at the brink of insanity.


    "No, I''m just kidding. I hatched from an egg." She said, her voice was laced with sarcasm.


    "Well if you invite me I take one of each unless you want to pay for more, then I take more."


    In the end I bought her two bars of chocolate, some popcorn and three bags of chips. She smiled so happily, as if she won the lottery. It was completely worth it.


    "How do you usually make money?" I asked while she was stuffing everything in her bag.


    "I work."


    "As?"


    "Whatever. Behind the bar, as a waitress, I sort shelves, I clean." She shrugged.


    "At our school the library is looking for help." I muttered. Somehow I didn''t want her to leave yet.


    "If you are interested we could go to the pack house and ask the Alpha if you can stay and work here for a little."


    She thought about it for a moment then she nodded. I didn''t know why I held my breath until she agreed or why I felt so relieved, but I did. I didn''t want to think about what it meant.


    Alice, the housekeeper of my parents, walked past us just before we entered the land where our pack lived on.


    I could hear her sniff before she stopped.


    "I changed my mind. I don''t want to work yet." She said and started walking towards the forest. My heart clenched. I didn''t want her to go.


    "Why?" I asked. Why did I even care? She was just a random rogue!


    "I am a woman I can randomly change my mind." She huffed and started walking faster.


    "But why?" I asked again.


    "Packs make me uncomfortable, okay? Now stop asking." She snapped at me.


    I was shocked. Why would packs make her uncomfortable? I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. In the end I walked her to the border and she left.


    The last words she said to me were "Bye and thanks for the treat."


    It made me sad and happy at the same time.


    I went home, not to the pack house but to my parents. Mum had just made dinner and invited me to eat with them. The atmosphere felt slightly off. I noticed Mum''s eyes were slightly red.


    "Mum did you cry?" I asked.


    "No dear, why?" She said and smiled at me.


    "Your eyes..." I mumbled and suddenly felt very stupid.


    "Oh, it''s from cutting the onions." She said and ruffled my hair. I frowned at her cause she knows I hate it when others touch my hair.

 Chapter 3: Home Alone

    After I was out of view I sat down underneath an old willow. There was no mistake, I had smelled Dad on that old housekeeper.


    Dad had warned me to not stick around when I smell his scent on another werewolf so I got the fuck out of there fast. But why did I feel so bad about his sad eyes? I would have loved to stick around longer.


    I shook my head. "Listen to Dad." I inwardly scolded myself. Dad was always right. Dad protected me. Without Dad¡­ I didn''t want to think about it.


    I took a deep breath and got up. I had gotten what I needed and more, time to head home.


    I glanced once more longingly towards the city and the nice stranger before heading back into the midnight forest. On my way back I noticed I didn''t even know his name. If we ever meet again I will ask him, I promised myself.


    Why did I even care about a stranger''s name? What the fuck was wrong with me? I shook my head. At the secret entrance of the midnight forest I stripped and stuffed all my stuff into my backpack. I had to use force to shove everything in, as it was already quite full from all the groceries I bought and the snacks he had gifted me.


    Involuntarily his picture appeared in my mind. Those gorgeous green eyes and this dark brown hair. Like ebony. I had to admit I did like his looks. And he even got little dimples when he smiled.


    "Stop thinking about a random guy whose name you don¡¯t even know." I scolded myself. What was wrong with me?


    Now that I thought about it, I introduced myself but they never did.


    ¡°Fucking pack assholes think they are something better." I muttered. ¡°Don¡¯t need to introduce themselves to a rogue or be polite because they have a pack and their tongue so deep up their Alpha¡¯s arse."


    I pinched my finger on the zipper. ¡°Ow." I cried out in pain and glared at the zipper.


    ¡°You better close or I will replace you as soon as Dad comes home." I growled at my bag. After threatening it, I somehow managed to close the zipper. I shifted. Carefully I grabbed the full back with my mouth and then I made my way back through the secret passage and the midnight forest all the way back to the cabin.


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    Once inside I just slipped on my panties and then I stole a shirt from Dad. It was a soft, black silk shirt. Dad loved black silk. I missed him. The shirt had Dad¡¯s dark smell. I closed my eyes and inhaled Dad¡¯s scent.


    I hoped Dad would come home soon. When he took too long I would start ¡®nesting¡¯. It was embarrassing, at last I found it embarrassing, Dad said it was normal given my circumstances.


    ¡®Nesting¡¯ meant I would involuntarily start gathering clothes that smell like Dad and would build me a safe space out of them. Like a bird building a nest.


    It¡¯s been two years since I last had a nesting episode and I would be very happy if I wouldn¡¯t have one again. Especially since soon I would turn sixteen. After turning sixteen I would be able to find my mate.


    The mate is according to other werewolves a gift given by the moon goddess, a soulmate. Someone made for you. Someone who will love and cherish you. Your destined soulmate. Your destiny.


    Dad always laughs when he hears that.


    According to Dad the moon goddess is a bitch and mates are her source of drama and breeding. Not the cute kind of breeding way, but the way humans breed dogs.


    ¡®See, humans made pugs out of wolves, that is exactly what that goddess bitch does to you!¡¯


    Dad really hates the moon goddess. I think he hates gods in general, though. Every time we have been together in a human city he always spat at the church and his face looked very scary when he did that. I had also seen him destroying shrines other species use to worship their gods.


    Sometimes I wondered, was he not afraid that one of the gods would want revenge?


    I sighed. All I can think of at the moment is Dad. I start unpacking the groceries. At last tomorrow I will have a proper breakfast again.


    A moment I just stood in the cabin, wondering what to do. Then I went outside and got some meat from our smoke chamber. I would later eat that with potatoes. Dad didn''t eat meat. Which meant he had built the whole smoker chamber just for me. It had actually been a birthday present from him to me.


    Not my real birthday, I didn''t celebrate my real birthday, instead Dad and I celebrated the day he found me. I was more comfortable that way and Dad didn''t care. As long as I was happy he was happy.


    I sank down onto the huge comfortable sofa. It was so big, Dad and I could sleep on it together side by side - which we quite often did.


    I opened one of the chips the guy had gifted me and watched the next episode of Wednesday. Maybe when I had watched the whole series I would watch Alice in Borderlands next. It looked interesting.

 Chapter 4: His Fault

    "How was the rogue girl?" My friend David teased me the next day. I looked up at his blue eyes and scoffed.


    "Weirdly polite for a rogue." I said. I didn''t want to tell him that I had been thinking about her the whole night. Her amber eyes and her magical hair. The cute little smile and the sound of her laughter.


    Why couldn''t I forget her? She was just a rogue wasn''t she?


    I still felt disappointed that she refused my offer to get her a job. I hated that I felt that way.


    She. Was. A. Rogue. Why did I want her to stay? Why couldn''t I stop thinking of her?


    Well whatever it was it better stopped soon. She was gone and she wouldn''t come back. At last next week I would be sixteen and then I could finally find my mate.


    A thought struck me. What if she was my mate? I let her go. I would probably never see her again. She was a rogue. Wandering around the counties until she crossed the wrong pack and got killed. That is if another rogue wasn''t faster.


    Somehow this made me sad. "Why did I let her go?" I scolded myself.


    "Earth to Vale." David waved in front of my face.


    "Sorry, what?" I asked.


    "Told you he spaced out." Tristan said and grinned at me.


    "What were you thinking of?" He asked and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him.


    "Do packs make rogues uncomfortable?" I blurted out. Damn! I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. First that is such a stupid question and second now I had confirmed to them that I was still thinking about that girl. They would be teasing me for the rest of the week.


    "Well, most packs are not very nice to rogues. Some kill them ok site, most at last throw them in their dungeon for a while to make sure the rogue won''t trespass again." David said, scratching his head.


    "Wolves that left their pack on their own can easily join a new pack, but wolves that got abandoned by their pack, that''s a different story. If you think getting rejected by your mate is bad, try getting cast out by your whole pack. That''s enough to drive any wolf insane." Tristan sighed.


    "And don''t forget the deep engraved trust issues they have if they don''t go insane. The cases were cast out wolves actually managed to reintegrate in a pack are so rare, you can probably count them on one hand."


    I shuddered. Did she get cast out or did she leave an abusive pack? Her hate for packs definitely pointed towards either one and I couldn''t tell which one was worse.


    "So you are still hung up on rogue-girl." David grinned and I groaned. I knew this would happen. Why ground? Why didn''t you swallow me?


    "I liked her." Tristan grinned. "Especially how she was making fun of you."


    I growled and both of them laughed.


    "We should go before we are late for class." I sighed, hoping that this would distract them.


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    It kinda did. We started walking towards the school but they were still mentioning that girl.


    "Did you kiss her?" Tristan asked.


    "Ew!" David said. "Who knows where her lips had been before!"


    I held back another growl. Somehow this comment made me angry.


    "Just because she''s a rogue doesn''t mean she''s sleeping around." I said instead of ripping David''s head off.


    "Vale is in love." Tristan sang, mocking me.


    "You never know. She might have done even more for money." David shrugged. Reminding me of how our elders told us how harsh live outside a pack was.


    Hunting, fighting, survival. Every day could be your last. Competing with other rogues for the limited food.


    Before I could say anything else the bell rang. We looked at each other then we ran. We made it to our class just in time.


    Our first class was history. I really had no idea why we had to attend a human school and learn about human history, but according to our Alpha ¡®this is how it always had been¡¯.


    I knew better than to argue about this, but deep inside this answer irked me. What are we? Stupid monkeys?


    The bell rang and we went to maths class. Our teacher was just busy checking the homework when Alice knocked on the door and entered.


    ¡°Vale. You have to come home. Right now. It is a family emergency."


    From the way she was talking I could tell she ran here. Why didn¡¯t she use the mind link? Why didn¡¯t she call? An ominous feeling engulfed me. ¡°Something bad had happened."My mind screamed at me. ¡°No." I thought. I didn¡¯t know why, but suddenly maths was the best class ever. I wanted to keep studying. I didn¡¯t want to go with Alice. I didn¡¯t want to know. I wanted to stay oblivious. Meeting a rogue and complaining about humans and homework being my biggest worry.


    I couldn¡¯t remember getting up but in no time I left school with Alice next to me. I opened my mouth to ask. But no words ever left my lips. We used our werewolf strength to run home. Side by side. We got many weird looks. Usually we tried to avoid that, but neither Alice nor me were in the right state of mind.


    In front of my house we stopped. I smelled blood. My stomach churned.


    What had happened?


    I looked at Alice but she shook her head, so I went in alone. The smell of blood grew even stronger, suffocating me. I stumbled up the stairs, following the ever stronger growing smell. It was so strong I could taste it. I felt nauseous.


    ¡°No, it is my fault." I heard Dad sobbing.


    I pushed the door open. Nothing ever could have prepared me for the scene that unfolded in front of me. Dad was sitting on the ground, tightly clutching onto my Mom. He was ugly crying, covered in blood. It took me a moment to realise where all this  blood came from. There was a knife on the floor and my mother had two mouths. One closed and pale, one gaping open like a mocking grin. Her throat had been slit open.


    Why would my Mom slit her throat? Who? Why?


    ¡°Dad?" I whimpered. I hated how weak my voice sounded. ¡°What happened?" I asked nevertheless.


    Dad looked at me as if he just noticed my presence.


    ¡°Vale." He whispered. ¡°I am so sorry. It is my fault. All my fault." A sob escaped him. I had never seen my strong and proud Dad like that. He looked broken. Defeated.


    ¡°What is your fault?" I asked.


    ¡°She killed herself. Because of me. Because of what I did. It is all my fault!" He heard Dad¡¯s voice break. Mom killed herself? Why? Before I could open my mouth I heard footsteps and a moment later someone hugged me. It took me a second to realise it was the luna of our pack. I looked over her shoulder to see the Alpha dealing with my father. Hugging him while slowly prying my dead mother out of his arms. A moment later the pack doctor entered.


    I heard Dad wailing while they removed my mother¡¯s corpse from their shared bedroom. There was so much pain in my father¡¯s voice. It broke me.


    I stared and the blood and the knife that was left behind while my dead Mom was being carried away. This all felt so unreal. Like a bad dream. Why would Mom kill herself?


    It felt like I was not in my own body. I just watched everything that happened. I functioned like a robot.


    My father died three days after my mother. One more day passed before it felt like something dark had been lifted from our place. I honestly couldn''t recall much from this time. I functioned on autopilot.

 Chapter 5: A full Belly

    I heard hooves. I couldn¡¯t help but squeal in excitement. I nearly tripped over the furniture while I hurried to run outside. I waited impatiently at the door while the sound grew louder and then I saw them! I waved. A big smile on my face. He smiled back. Dad! Finally he had come home!


    He looked stunning sitting on his huge horse. Gaith whinnied when he saw me and shook his big decaying head. The flesh flapped around spreading the awful stench of decay everywhere. I could see white bones flashing.


    Then my eyes darted up to Dad. He was still as beautiful as the day we had met with his dark grey skin and blood red eyes. Dad wore his usual black harem pants and a see through black silk shirt. He hadn¡¯t buttoned it close and it was hanging loosely off his shoulders, exposing his muscular torso and golden nipple rings that were connected with small golden chains to his just as golden collar.


    ¡°Gladys." His voice was sweet as sugar, making my legs feel weak. Dad was back! My home was complete again. I couldn''t help but smile like an idiot. Dad got off the horse with a low grunt. Just then I noticed his stomach. Normally Dad had a six pack but now he looked as if he was eight months pregnant. He noticed my stare and grinned. Then he patted his belly.


    ¡°Do you like it? This means I won¡¯t have to eat for at least three months!" I could feel an even bigger smile spread all over my face. Dad wouldn¡¯t leave me for 3 months! I squealed and hugged him.


    ¡°Careful darling, Dad is full." He whispered while petting my head.


    ¡°Can you take care of Gaith for me, darling? I want to lie down." Dad asked me. I nodded eagerly. I was too excited to talk.


    ¡°I wait for you on the sofa." Dad whispered before he waddled inside. I never knew someone could waddle elegantly but Dad pulled it off. From the side he looked like a pregnant bride, with his black long hair shrouding him like a veil.


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    I took Gaith''s lead and brought him to the small stable behind our cabin. I removed his harness and saddle before opening the door so he could decide to spend his time inside the stable or outside, free in the midnight forest.


    We didn¡¯t need to worry that he would run away. Dad was Gaith master. Gaith was an undead horse that was bound to Dad by a contract. Without Dad, Gaith wouldn¡¯t even exist. I patted Gaith decaying skin before heading inside to finally reunite with Dad.


    Inside Dad was already lying on the sofa, his hands supporting his big belly. I couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°My face is going to hurt tomorrow from all the smiling.¡± I thought. With Dad here, the cabin finally felt like a real home again. I felt safe again. I cuddled onto the sofa next to him, inhaling his dark scent.


    ¡°No nesting." He muttered. I nodded proudly resting my head on his shoulder just beside the collarbone. It still was a perfect fit. ¡°Such a good little puppy." He chuckled and started rubbing my back in small circles, making me purr in satisfaction.


    I had missed this. I had missed him. I knew after eating Dad would lie down and sleep for a few days. I didn¡¯t care. Right now, here in his arms, I was happy. These were the rare moments I lived for, the moments where I felt at peace and contempt.


    Dad''s hand started to slow down and soon it stopped, resting on my waist. His chest was slowly rising and falling. I looked up at his face that was breathtakingly symmetrical. Dad was beautiful. His eyelashes were as long and now that his eyes were closed they looked like wings of butterflies.


    To me Dad was the most perfect and beautiful person in the whole world. I didn''t care what kind of mythical creature Dad was. To me he was Dad. My home. My saviour. My safe place.


    I carefully placed my head back on his shoulder, right beside the collarbone. Perfection. I sighed and closed my eyes as well. This time I didn''t need the TV to drift off to sleep. The sound of Dad''s even breathing, the warmth of his body and his dark scent were enough to send me into a peaceful slumber.

 Chapter 6: A Stranger

    Funeral.


    Both of my parents were dead. Soon there would be a funeral. I still hadn''t cried. I felt completely numb. The words my fault were ringing in my head for over a week now.


    Before his death my father had actually explained to me what had happened.


    Back in highschool my father had actually rejected my mother, because she was a nerd and he wanted to be cool. He told me more than once that this was the biggest mistake of his life. She had left the pack for a few years and when she came back he fought for her until she forgave him.


    He marked her and in the same month she ended up pregnant with me. He said she said she had forgiven him. He couldn''t understand why it all suddenly came up again, but it all came back to my Mom. The pain of the rejection. The feeling of not being good enough. Nothing Dad did helped and then she just took her own life.


    It sounded so unreal. Did I ever even know my parents? They never told me about this. No one ever did. The same night my father confessed everything he died.


    "Broken heart." The pack doctor said. Broken heart. But what about me? What was I supposed to do now? At the beginning of this week homework or getting teased by my friends were my greatest issues and now I was an orphan.


    I lived with Alice at the moment. I couldn''t stay in that house. No matter how much it got cleaned I could still smell the blood, death and darkness. Everyone else told me they smelled nothing. Maybe it was all in my head? Maybe I was going crazy? But maybe not. I didn''t know anymore. I couldn''t tell. Honestly I just felt lost and left alone. Tomorrow would be my birthday. It should be the happiest day of my life. I should be celebrating it with my family. We should be excited together if I would find my mate.


    But none of that would happen.


    "Sir, you can''t go in there!" I heard the beta of the pack say. Before he could say more the door swung open and a big, grim looking man entered. Alice squeaked and jumped protectively in front of me while I just looked at the stranger like a deer in the headlights.


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    From his smell alone I could tell two things. He wasn''t from our pack and he was no rogue.


    "Are you the survivor?" He asked and stepped closer. I looked at him. Shoulder length blonde hair and a beard. I could see tattoos on his chest poking out from the shirt he hadn''t cared to button closed all the way. He has broad shoulders, muscular arms and at least a sheathed sword hanging over his shoulder.


    "Who are you?" I asked.


    "I am sorry for that. Nicholas our beta stepped beside him.


    "Sir, this is really not the right place or time for this." He said to the man.


    "There is never a right place or time." The man huffed. "Son, did your mother slit her throat?" He asked me.


    Nicholas grabbed him and started pulling him out.


    "Yes. Why?" I stood up looking the man in the eyes. He fought Nicholas'' hands off and took a step towards me. I gulped. He was huge and I could feel the power radiating off him. He was a strong fighter.


    "I want to talk to you about the murder of your parents." He said calmly.


    I felt as if I had been hit by a hammer. Murder?


    "No¡­ it was suicide¡­" I stammered, slumping back into my chair.


    "Stop spouting your nonsense and let him grieve in peace!" Nicholas growled.


    "She was pregnant wasn''t she?" The stranger asked. I wanted to say no but Nicholas paled.


    "And the baby was exactly one week before being able to have a fighting chance on its own?"


    "How?" Nicholas whispered, confirming the strangers'' suspicions.


    Mom was pregnant? With a little sibling? And then she killed herself? I felt sick to my stomach. I got up and ran through the bathroom.


    My stomach was churning and I was retching until nothing but bile came.


    I flushed the toilet and wanted to get up, but my legs didn''t listen to me so instead I slumped down against the wall and pulled my legs to my chest. I didn''t know what to think anymore. Honestly I didn''t want to think anymore. This was all too much.


    Murder. Suicide. A baby. Did I ever really know my parents? I couldn''t help but sob.

 Chapter 7: At Home

    Dad slept but I couldn''t. Not anymore. My stomach was grumbling hungrily. "Five more minutes." I thought. I knew I should get up and make food. Dad wouldn''t wake up for at least one more day, but I just couldn''t bring myself to leave him. Not after he had finally come back.


    My stomach grumbled louder, reminding me of the hunger I felt.


    "Damn." I cussed, climbed over Dad and left the sofa. Dad was sleeping like a stone. I was already used to this. It was always like this. Especially when he came home looking like a pregnant woman.


    I glanced at his belly. It had already visibly shrunk. Soon it would be completely gone.


    I got some meat out of the fridge and soon the smell of fried smoked meat filled our small little cabin. I knew Dad wouldn¡¯t wake up from that. With Dad sleeping only the sound of sizzling meat filled the cabin. I hesitated for a moment, then I went over and turned on the record player. I let my hands glide over our extensive collection before picking one at random. As soon as the needle touched music was filling the quiet cabinet. The enchanting voice of Steve Wilson invited me to swim into his blackest eye.


    I didn¡¯t sing along this time - Dad was here. I would be embarrassed if he were to wake up while I was singing along. I knew he wouldn¡¯t mind, but I did.


    After the food was done I hastily gulped it down so I could cuddle back next to Dad as soon as possible. The music was still playing and I fell asleep listening to the lyrics.


    When I woke up the next time I was alone on the sofa. The smell of bacon filled the cabin.


    ¡°Morning." I said and yawned.


    ¡°Morning, darling. I Was just about to wake you, food is ready." Dad stood in front of me and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up from the sofa and into his arms. Like a little princess he carried me to the kitchen table where one plate of food was waiting for me.


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    Dad never ate this kind of food, but he always sat down next to me. When he was home I never ate alone.


    ¡°Do you want to go swimming later?" He asked while watching me eat. A gentle smile raised his lips and his red eyes looked at me full of adoration.


    ¡°Sure!" I smiled. There was a crystal clear lake about an hour walk from here. I loved going to the lake and Dad did too.


    ¡°Then I will pack some food and a blanket and we can have a picnic afterwards." Dad smiled, then he got up and put the record player playing. It still had the same record I had put on as he was asleep and once again I listened to Blackest Eye From Porcupine Tree. After I was done eating he pulled me up and started to dance with me. It was a slow song and we were gently swaying along to the music. Dad''s dark scent was embracing me and I felt calm and at peace.


    When the song ended Dad made me sandwiches and packed a cute picnic basket that visually didn¡¯t fit him at all. Then he took my hand and together we went through the dark forest to the lake.


    The wind was whispering ominously in the trees. When I was younger it scared me. It took me a few years to learn that this was normal in the midnight forest. The whispering in the trees, the feeling of being followed and watched. According to Dad there were monsters in the forest, but I had never encountered any.


    I had asked him once about this, he had just smiled and answered ¡°of course not. They would never dare to touch what is mine."


    Somehow this made me happy. I was Dad¡¯s. I felt that it should upset me. I was a person, not a thing, but it didn¡¯t. Probably it didn¡¯t because Dad had added in a barely audible whisper ¡°my daughter."


    I was his daughter. He saw me as his child. We were family.


    It was normal for me to carve this. A family. A place to belong. A pack. It was deeply engraved into my being. Werewolves were social creatures. At last this is what Dad had explained to me.


    We arrived at the lake. I stripped down to my underwear and jumped into the crystal clear water. Dad just removed his shirt and followed me.


    I gasped when my head broke through the water surface. The water was ice cold. Dad laughed beside me. His laughter was so beautiful, it would even make a nightingale stop their song in envy. The night at the lake was perfect. We swam, then I ate while Dad kept me company. Together we watched the reflection of the moon on the water and swam some more. At the end I was so exhausted, that Dad carried me home. I rested my head on his strong shoulders and fell asleep.

 Chapter 8: Answers

    After the incident everyone had left except Alice. I was grateful for that. She tried talking to me but I went straight to my room. I didn''t want to talk to anyone. I needed time to digest what I heard. How could it happen that a stranger knew more about my family than I did?


    I locked myself in my room for a few days. Only leaving it to get the food Alice placed in front of my door or go to the toilet. When I finally felt ready I told Alice I wanted to speak to the stranger again.


    I was surprised when not even one hour later the stranger was sitting at Alice''s kitchen table. It was as if he had been waiting for me to reach out. Maybe he had? Thinking how he had known stuff not even I had known about my parents. Who was this man? Alice served us coffee and brownies.


    "I will be in the next room." She said, I nodded and she left.I took one deep breath before facing off the stranger.


    "So, who the fuck are you?" I asked as soon as Alice was out of the room.


    "My name is Ragnar Svenson. I come from the White Moonshine Pack." He introduced himself. His voice was gravely and calm, but I could feel the power seeping out from it. He was a strong wolf. A fighter. There was no denying it.


    "Never heard of that pack." I crossed my arms and leaned back, trying to hide how uneasy I felt in his presence. I didn''t trust this stranger.


    "Of course not. It''s on the other side of the continent." He chuckled.


    "What? Then why are you here? How did you know Mom was pregnant?" I asked. Alice had told me except Dad nobody knew. They all found out during the autopsy.


    "Because it fits the pattern." Ragnar said.


    "Pattern? You just guessed?" I asked with a growl.


    "An educated guess." He nodded. "And to answer your previous question. I am here ''cause I am hunting someone or something."


    Before I opened my mouth he placed a big folder in front of me.


    "Nearly a thousand pages. Each page is a dead mate pair. I call them the mate killer. They kill either pregnant mates the age of your mother or young mates that had been issues such as rejection or bullying."


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    I stared at the folder. My mouth felt dry.


    "Each time one of the mates slits their throat and the other dies a few days later. Either through suicide or broken heart. Sometimes they leave a child behind, like you, but rarely. Often the mother kills that child as well. So you are kind of a rarity. I can count children that have survived them on two hands."


    "Why?" I asked.


    "Why they kill them or why I hunt them?"


    "Both." I answered, although I didn''t know myself.


    "They killed my parents. Same as you. Why they kill? That is still a mystery. It happens all over the continent. Randomly."


    I opened the folder. The moment I read the first page I wished I hadn''t. It was an autopsy report about another female just like my mother.


    "They always die exactly one week before the baby would have a chance to survive outside the womb." He said quietly, making me shudder.


    "Why?" I croaked out hoarsely.


    He shrugged. "I don''t know. I have a few theories but nothing confirmed. My biggest guess is, they don''t want any survivors."


    "Why are you telling me all this?" I asked.


    He hesitated for a moment.


    "Because no one told me until I figured it out. Thinking all these years my parents committed suicide and left me all alone. That I wasn''t important enough to them. It broke me. I''d rather tell you the harsh truth because if I would be in your place I would like to know."


    "Maybe I would have rather stayed oblivious." I laughed bitterly. He didn''t respond to that. We both knew it wasn''t true, because if my parents really got murdered, if they didn''t kill themselves... .


    It was like he said, then at least they wouldn''t have decided to leave me all alone.


    I already had started to think same as he had. Wondering  if I wasn''t enough for my Dad. Not good enough for my Mom. I still found it hard to believe that they were killed by someone or something. I slowly looked through the folder. It was undeniable. So many werewolves died the exact same way as my parents. Many that fit my parents age group and had a child on the way. This was too similar to be a coincidence.


    And it was like h said, when they had another child, often that child would be murdered right before the woman slit her throat. Killing both children in the process.


    "How many like us are out there?" I asked.


    "Survivors of their parents murder?" He asked and I nodded.


    "Too many for my taste, but less than a handful."


    "Well, thank you for the truth." I said and glanced at the untouched brownies. Neither of us had any appetite after this conversation.


    "Do you have any more questions?" He asked and I shook my head. I needed time to digest all I had heard.


    "I will be still here for another two weeks. I stay at the guest house of your pack. Feel free to come over if you want to ask something, if you want to talk or if you just need company."


    I nodded. I didn''t trust my voice anymore.


    "My condolences." He said, then took the folder, stood up and left. I sat there on the table motionless until Alice came and hugged me.


    That''s all I needed to break down crying in her arms. This was all too much.