《THE LAST AUTUMN》


 THE WALK

    It had  probably been after a month that I was going to work. It was already 10 am and I was running late. I grabbed my office bag and my coat and rushed to get my door knob when a sound from my phone caught my attention. It was from an unknown number that said,


    "hewlo , is it Melissa>?


    My heart gasped as I stared at the text. The writing style, the word "hewlo" and the angular bracket reminded me of my past. I quicky got myself together and thought that many people might have the same writing style. I answered the text as ,


    "hi, this is Melissa Mali , how can I help you?"


    My anxiety struck whether to send the message or not but remembering that I was getting late , I decided to send the message. I departed from my house and rushed to catch the subway to my office. It was Autumn and I could feel the cool breeze through the windows. The sun looked pale as the clouds had covered it and the little birds that chirped along the buildings, laughing and playing. My phone again notified me of an incoming message. I opened it and it was from that unknown no. that said,


    "hope you didn''t forget me, this is Aron Edward".


    I could feel my heart beating a thousand times in a second. I quickly caught my breath and decided to leave the message unanswered. My subway made its stop and I caught a cab on the roadside to reach my office. "THE FUTURE WITH US" , the company whom I work for. Being an astrophysicist, I do well for a living but my utmost desire to make my own coffee shop is still a dream. It was my parents dream to be something precious in life and that''s where my interest in physics came from. I like my job, inventing , searching and experimenting with new things but it is always a person''s habit to try something new, even though you aren''t good at that thing. My desire to create an "old money" themed coffee shop comes from my passion of reading romantic books.


    As I enter to the gate of my office, I was greeted by my staffs and my fellow work partner, Fritz. We exchanged small greetings and headed to our work space. Fritz and I are the most hardworking members of our project and that is why we are always made together. He is a tall , green eyed , brunette hair guy with a manly look and muscular body. He is everyone''s idol in the office. Although we spend most of the time together , I never had any deeper feelings for him. Maybe because of something that I don''t want to remember. Saying of my past , I suddenly remembered the unanswered message and reached for my phone. There was another notification from him.


    "I know that you are ignoring me, but sadly I am in the same city as you are in, wanted to talk with you , can we meet>?"


    I was left in shock and my eyes widened at that text. I was just going to answer him when Fritz called for me. I left it unanswered again and decided to work first. It was until lunch time that I got time to text him. I wrote,


    "Aron, nice to meet you again . I hope you are doing well. After so many years I am hearing from you. Had listened that you got married? Congrats. BTW, Why do you wanna meet me?"


    The message was sent and I saw that he had seen it the next moment. My hand held the phone tight, getting tensed for what he is going to write next. The three dots danced and I held my breath tight. After a moment, there was another text. Just as I was going to read it, Fritz came and asked for some help. I had to go and my phone was untouched. While I was working with him, my mind was still on the phone, suspicious for the next message. After a long day, at 5 pm , I went back to my cabin to take rest. I was praised for my good work after a long time and was informed of a new project head that had been appointed to our team. Fritz gave me a quick hug for my excellent presentation. I searched for my phone and there were 3 unread messages. The first one was from Fritz. He rarely messages me so I opened it.


    "Hey, excellent work , want to grab dinner together after work?"


    Fritz and I never went for dinner except coffees, so I became a little too awkward but agreed to it. The second message was from my mother who is asking me about my health and whether I am drinking lots of water or not. My mother is a little too cautious and as far as I know, she is very worried for me working overseas here in UK. My father whereas is very supportive of mine and always supports me to focus on my career.


    The last message got my breathe to stop. It was from Aron.


    "It''s false , I wasn''t married. I just had a girlfriend which you knew, Mary Gates. I just wanted to meet you. Moreover, you are one of my oldest friends whose contact I got from online. Friday 7pm in Thai Tonic, hope you''ll come./"


    Friday? / , it''s tomorrow and I had some movie plans with my colleagues. I was confused at what to do. I didn''t answer and after work, I went to dinner with Fritz.


    He drove me to the restaurant, it was THAI TONIC. I glanced at it until the sound of his car brake made me snapped out of my dream. He opened my door and we both went inside. He ordered my favorite pasta and we talked and laughed while feasting on our foods. After we finished, he ordered my favorite chocolate ice-cream and my favorite cherry toppings to congratulate me on my success. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart and he smiled at me. After the dessert session finished, he holded my hand and I blushed at his swift move. In his charming green eyes, there came a sign of worry and with nervousness. He said, "Melissa , u are gorgeous , I really like you" I was startled for a moment. My hands became numb and a tear feel from my eye. He was confused at my reaction and without a thought, I just ran away through the door. As soon as I was going to cross the street, I stumbled upon a person and that collision made us two falls back to the ground. "Are u blind?", the person remarked. I apologized and as soon as I got up to help that person, I stood still. My mouth opened wide and those tears stopped falling from my eyes. "Aron?" my mouth said and he looked through my eyes. "Melissa, is that you? It''s been almost a decade, you still recognize me?", his stumbled voice spoke up.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    I was left numb. Those brown eyes, the black long hair , the same style for clothes , those muscled arms , those veins that popped out of his hands and a cold look with a manly voice was hard to forget. That unique attitude of calmness and to keep a control over one''s state of mind was one of those characters that define a man. He was a MAN.


    Aron and I had been studying in Junior high since grade 6 but we hardly knew each other much until in grade 10 we got into the same class. He was a fun seeking, mischievous boy who always found things to do which kept him entertained. From inside, he was a kind, trustworthy and responsible man. He never expressed himself much but he knew exactly how to help others. When we first started talking online, it was because for an arrangement of a programme that needed my help. From that day onwards, we used to talk regularly. It was the month of November or the season of Autumn and on a fine day, I expressed my feelings towards him. He brushed it off saying that I will get a better man than him. But I found my deepest comfort in his words, in his arms whenever he used to hug me when I cried or felt low. He was the man of my dreams. But as he told me, it was fortune and I will not get everything I wanted, he stomped on my heart and pierced it through. He was not rude but his calm rejection killed me inside. Later on I had discovered that one of my friends, Mary, was a very good friend of his, I would see them together often but never had the courage to ask him. After school, we went different ways and never talked or kept contact. He always used to believe that school friends were temporary. I never knew his feelings for me or whether there was any/ He remained my friend and those feelings remained in me, crushing me till now and possibly , that''s the reason that I never found my dream person , when he existed.


    Aron snapped his fingers in front of my eyes and asked me whether I was alright. I came out of my dream and told him that I was fine. Fritz came running behind me and stopped when he saw Aron. He exclaimed at Aron, "Sir, after such a long time! What brings you here?" "Sir!?," I said in confusion. Fritz then explained that he was the new project head of our team that had been appointed recently and, in my absence, he carried out most of my work. I was left in utter shock. I exclaimed, "Aron? You? Our project head? How? When?" Fritz looked at me in confusion and asked me how did I knew him. Aron handled the situation well. He said, "Melissa and I just had a collision here while she was rushing out and we apologized and introduced each other. She is probably in shock." He looked at me and said, "Hi , this is Aron Edwards, the new project head of THE FUTURE WITH US, nice to meet you". I acted neutral and introduced myself by addressing him as sir. We three went for a little walk, discussing our projects and when Fritz went to get some drinks, Aron looked at me and said, "Tell , you probably have a million questions about me". I indeed had and decided to confront him. "How did you get so serious about studies? you were literally mischievous and a fun-loving person!" He smirked at my words and said to me, "Well. I was lucky enough to get myself together, but still, I am a fun-loving person." I attacked him with another set of questions. "What happened with Mary? You guys are not together now?". He looked serious and looked at me with pleasing eyes as if I knew the answer. I knew what happened between them but wanted him to say. "Mary wasn''t for me, I deserved better as well as she do. It was best to leave her. Moreover, she is happy with Erik now," Aron said with a hard voice. Erik was my first ever crush in standard 3 but he got transferred to another school the next year and I was disheartened about it. "Sorry", I said. He smiled and meanwhile Fritz came up with the drinks. We three enjoyed the hot coffee in the windy night and then Fritz decided to leave me off at home. Aron spoke up and told that he was going in my direction and that he can drop me off. Fritz looked a bit confused but he still agreed. He gave me a quick hug and bade goodnight. The hug somehow affected Aron as he was quite for a while. I asked him, "what happened?" and he simply ignored my question and directed me to walk with him.


    The distance was just 10 minutes but it seemed to take forever while we were walking. After an awkward silence of a minute, he spoke up, "so, is Fritz your...?" I cut down his sentence and told him that we were simply work partners and good friends. For some reason he seemed a little relief. He asked me, "what''s up with your life? have you stopped doing shitty things?" I stopped walking and stood there numb. I was in the hospital for about a month for attempting suicide and that is the reason I could not attend work. Everyone knew I was just sick. I hesitantly told him, "Yeah, all fine! how about you?" I walked towards him, joining in the conversation. He looked at me sharp eyed and said, "you cannot lie to me, I can say that by your eyes". I was taken aback and said, "don''t . I wanna forget everything. please." He smirked at my reply. "You were at the hospital for a month and told everyone that you were sick?". I gasped at him. "You know you cannot keep any secrets from me, right?" I understood that he understands everything. Moreover, he was the only one who could read and understand me back then in school. I said, "why have you come here?". He said casually, "you were not doing well in your life, just came here to look after you". I looked at him with angered eyes and said, "what do you think of me? am I a kid?" . "You are to me". He said. Aron was my comfort zone back then , to whom I used to tell each and everything . He still knows me well. But now , I don''t wanna express my feelings. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER. I kept quiet and soon reached my house. I told him thanks and left. He watched me go and told me aloud , " tomorrow 7pm , be on time". When I reached my staircase. I saw him taking a cab to go to the opposite direction. I knew at some point that his house was not here , he just wanted to have a chat with me and I got carried away. At night my phone notified me of 2 unread messages.


    "Sorry for that awkward moment Melissa , but think it over. Good night." It was from Fritz.


    I just wrote "good night" and moved to the next message. I somehow expected it.


    "was lucky enough to meet you, loved spending time after so many years. Hope you feel the same>>" It was from Aron.


    I just replied with a smile Emogi and turned my lights off to sleep.


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 HUSTLE

    After all the hustle of the previous day , I somehow got myself together and headed to work . I kept my phone silent the entire day and focused on my project. Suddenly , I heard a knock on my cabin. I asked to come in and to my annoyance , Aron came . He was dressed in black shirt with a deep blue tie and grey trousers. He looked good with his hair brushed well and his light moustache. He was holding a pile of papers. He asked me with a deep and composed tone, "Good Morning , Melissa , meeting at 10 am , be on time". He smiled and went away without listening my answer. I was not feeling well that day maybe because of the new medicine I was on. It was 9:30 am and I still had half an hour to put myself together. I got myself a cup of coffee and rested on my chair thinking of my teenage life.


    I was a jolly girl as far as I can remember . I was sincere in studies and in swimming . Swimming was one of those many hobbies I loved . I got prices for it too. I loved to write poems and most of them really turned out good. I had many friends but I didn''t get along with them well. They were more popular , outgoing , fashionable and showing. I was more of a composed and high valued women. I hated parties and clubs . It was most of the time me and some close friends of mine named Cal . He was a trustworthy guy and he still contacts me now. But due to lack of time , we two have become busy in our lives. I didn''t tell him about meeting Aron yet. He knows everything about me and supports me in every direction like a true friend. He is already engaged with Emmy , a sweet natured girl . They have been together for 11 years now and I think that''s the nest compatibility. He has invited me to this wedding which is about s month later. Perhaps , that''s the time we would get to catch up each others life.{maybe}


    So returning back to my empty cup of coffee that is still in my hand. I looked at the clock and it was 10 min before 10. I hurried to the powder room and touched up myself. I still feel a little off but would be fine. When I came outside , I saw Fritz waiting for me. He wished me morning and we both went to the conference room. My place was beside Aron and Fritz was just opposite of mine. I sat with the other authorities and the meeting started. I noticed that Aron is looking at my left wrist scars and I quickly covered it with my sleeves. He looked unsatisfied and I looked the opposite side , my head facing his face. It was a solid 2 hr meeting and when the lunch bell finally rang , all the authorities got up . We thanked them and they departed. When I was going to depart , I felt a sudden stinging pain on my head and without keeping control over myself , I collapsed. I was experiencing difficulty in breathing and my hands and feet were becoming cold , shaking and trembling. Everything went quiet and I felt numb. I woke up and could see white ceilings and my left hand was held by Aron who was asleep by my side. I moved a little and it startled Aron. He looked at me and smiled, "Good morning again". I was confused and pushed myself up when I noticed that my arms had channels attached. "hey hey, relax" , Aron said . "What happened?" , I exclaimed. He got up and called the nurse while I was still suspecting the situation. "You went through a seizure , it could have been fatal but luckily it didn''t. The earlier medicines didn''t work right for your body and it resulted in this" , Arin said pointing at me. The nurse came followed by the doctor .He checked the monitor and looked at my eyes and heart rate. He just nodded his head and asked me whether I know Aron. I nodded and he asked a min with Aron personally. I twitched my eyebrows and the doctor moved with Aron. I heard Fritz voice after a while and I smiled as he came worrying for me. "How are you , I am so sorry I came late. I completed your work so that you would have no trouble today". I was surprised by his move. "Thanks Fritz , that was so kind of you , thank you , really thanks." He smiled and gave me a small bouquet with a note saying '' GET WELL SOON , MELI.''


    Today''s plan for THAI TONIC got cancelled.


    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Aron came in and looked at the bouquet. He asked Fritz to go outside and wait. After Fritz left , Aron came to me. I was feeling afraid by his stone look. He spoke up " Melissa , your health is not that satisfactory and you need to be kept under observation. You are restricted to fly so you cannot go home , thus , by the concern from your parents , they have told me to take care of you." "What do you mean ? am I still a ..." I shuttered when I saw his bloodshot eyes at me. "You will stay at my house for a week and after that with the doctor''s permission , u are free" his voice cold and commanding. Without waiting for my reply , he went away. I cannot stay at Aron''s. God! Why all the bad things happen to me. He moved far from me years ago and today , he wants me close? Why?


    The following day , I moved to Aron''s house. His house is big with furnished floors and a small coffee cum book station. I saw that my clothes were already brought from my wardrobe. I remembered him asking for my apartment key .And now I realised why. "hey . there''s your room" , Aron pointed the left hand room which had blue curtains , the bed was made beautifully and there was a powder room attached. My favourite colour is blue. He knew it .I thanked him and went to my room. I am feeling alright today but still needs some rest. I looked at my list of medicines and there were more injections than pills. Aron told me to freshen up and I followed his command. We both were off work today and I suddenly remembered my phone that I left . "have you seen my phone?" I asked Aron . "yeah , it''s with me. You cannot get it until you fully recover as you have to be on rest." "I answered Fritz message and told him not to disturb you and you parents would call me if they need to speak with you" Aron answered with firmness. "What do you think of yourself? Give me back my phone at once" I said with anger. He got up from his chair and came closer to me until my back touched the wall. I breathe heavily. He was just some centimetres away from me and I could feel his warm breathe touching me. He looked at me and said "I won''t", his voice commanding. I was taken aback when he left the room. I got myself up and went to the washroom to have a shower. When I came back from the shower , I smelled something delicious. I brushed my hair and looked into the mirror. I was wearing a sweatshirt and it looked kind of hot on me. Nevermind , I followed the smell and I saw Aron cooking lunch. I was excited and ran towards him when I fell on the ground and everything seemed blank.


    After sometime , I could sense something in my hand . Aron was sitting by my side , brushing my hair with his hands and constantly looking at my eyes. When I opened my eyes , he exclaimed " hey , you cam hear me right" . "yes, where am I?" I asked. "It''s fine , you just lost your senses when u fell on the ground, come eat something as there are medicines left , its already 2 pm". I nodded and with his help , I went to the table and had my lunch. It was delicious , the noodles were perfectly steamed with the chicken right on top of it. After lunch , I came to my room and sat down. Aron came to give my injection. "Ok , pull up your sleeves , it will just take a min" he said. While disinfecting my hand , he saw me taking deep breathes , my head bent facing the ceiling and my eyes closed with the fear of needles. "You said that u aren''t a kid , so why r u afraid of needles?" he laughed. "Many grown-ups are there who are afraid of needles" I defended. He just smirked it off and prepared the needles , slowly injecting it to my hand and it didn''t pain that much but it made me weak. He saw me becoming unconscious and cautiously placed my head on the bed. While he was preparing to leave , I held his hand and he came closer to my bed. I softly asked him to stay and he nodded. He sat by my side and I slowly put my hands over his and he moved his thumb over my hand like he is telling me that everything would be alright . I could hear a warm breath closer to my face and then I was shocked to realise that he has implanted a kiss on my forehead. I fell asleep and I could still feel his warmth within. Feelings are the most vulnerable things a human can ever experience and it also weakens us against our own will.


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 FEELINGS

    I woke up at around 5 pm in the evening when the cool breeze brushed my face. I walked towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water where I discovered Mary sitting on the couch with Aron and they were having a conversation. I didn''t think of it that much but silence prevail when they saw me. I awkwardly said , "hey Mary , how are u doing?". Mary didn''t looked pleased and answered, "hey , yeah I am uh , yeah good". "Come join us Melissa!" , Aron said. I could sense the irritation Mary had on her face. "um , I like would like to rest", I answered. "It''s fine Melissa, you can sit with us", Aron said. I quietly grabbed the bottle and sat with them. I was on the chair and Mary started speaking. "So , Aron , what do you think?". "What do you mean huh? , you lost your chance , don''t come back to me again" Aron said with a loud voice. The water almost choked my throat and I understood that Mary came to Aron for a second chance. Mary silently got up and left the room saying . "I am sorry". I sat there numb. I saw Aron upset and went to him. He got up and went to his room , ignoring me. I decided to make dinner to cheer him up.


    When it was almost 9 pm , he opened his door and came to the kitchen following the smell. I made tacos , his favourite back then. His face glow up and a smile came to his sad drenched face. He didn''t say anything . I too tried to enjoy this silent happiness. I served him and we ate together. After completing , he said . "Melissa , I am sorry". I stopped at my last bite and looked up at him when he left the table and went to my room. I kept the dishes on the sink and followed him. He was sitting on the bed , looking down at his fists . I sat beside him and then he started, "I am sorry", his voice cold and calm . I didn''t interrupt and he said, "you were a gem in my life back then but I overlooked you . I overlooked my happiness and gave Mary my priority when you were always caring and helping me. She came today to join things back , how can I be ?"he stopped. "It''s fine Aron , I had forgiven you because if you love a person , you should let them be happy and I think you should forget the past." "Have you forgotten?", Aron looked at me. My body felt exhausted like I wanted to cry but then I thought that I prepared myself for anything so I answered , "Aron , I can never but that doesn''t mean that I will stick to it and never move on. It''s life , Aron". He was silent and I tried to hold my tears. Then his next question startled me, "Do you still love me , Melissa?". I hold my breathe like my soul would leave my body and I would like to disappear. "Aron , this is neither the place nor the time to discuss this, I want to forget everything. Even if I still do , I promised myself never to get hurt , so it would be better if... you know". "I understand", Aron said calmly. A drop of tear fell from my eyes and he looked straight into me. Our eyes were speaking like they needed each other but our soul knew that we could never be together.


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    "Well well , time for your meds." He got up and shook his head. I got myself together and the pointed needle attacked me again but this didn''t give that much pain which his question gave me. I laid on the bed and he sat beside me waiting for me to get asleep. But the tears were flowing and I tried to hide it. He was helpless but then he took my head in his arms and pressed his lips on my head. I cried my heart out , shouting and screaming . "It''s okay Melissa , sorry for hurting you again , I am sorry" he apologised. I didn''t respond anything and cried till I got tired in his arms and I sobbed . He was still holding me until I finally fell asleep.


    Sometimes , at unexpected times , you fall in love with the most unexpected person. It''s human feelings. We are weak against emotions of love. I loved Aron with my whole heart and soul . The love was true and I really wanted him but fate changed. Today , his question broke me from inside. I wanted to hold him and kiss him and accept his proposal but was scared to harming my feelings again.


    My eyes glitched at the bright rays of the sun. It was tuning cold outside as it was already winter , the season of cold heartbreaks. I slowly got up from the bed and I saw Aron standing in the doorway. He was wearing dark blue trousers and white t shirt which really made him look good. "Good morning, freshen yourself and the breakfast is on the table , hurry up , we have to go to the office" Aron said. Office? Like we are really going as I thought that I was on strict rest but I didn''t interrupt as I wanted to freshen my mind. I wished him good morning and I got myself shower. I wore jeggings with a pink top that my mother brought me for my birthday. I combed my hair and went to the kitchen. Aron was busy organising his desk while I ate and washed my dish as I saw the dishes from the last night were already washed. Aron must have had done it. He came from his room and stood still after seeing me. "You um , look good" Aron praised . "Thanks , let''s head out" I answered. He nodded his head , locked the door and we headed for work.


    "I wanted to lighten you up so I thought of taking you to your work place , it would clear your mind from the last night." Aron said. "That''s nice" I said. Aron gave a hurtful smile and we headed to THE FUTURE WITH US.


    Sometimes all you have to do is ignore the fact that your upset and it would automatically lighten you up . From all these years of working, I think I should give Fritz a chance , I should make myself happy and bring those things that make me happy in my life. A new adventure awaiting...


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 AN ATTEMPT

    Aron and I stepped out from his car and we entered the office. Fritz saw me and in surprise ran towards me and hugged me . I was literally in shock. "hey hey" , Fritz said excitedly, "So good to see you returning to work , hope you are doing well, you didn''t answer my messages and I got worried." "I am fine , Fritz , thanks for caring about me. I wanted to take my mind somewhere and the best place I can do that is here. Um , sorry Fritz , my phone was not with me and I couldn''t answer you" , I answered. "No worries , Meli", Fritz said. I smiled and we headed to my cabin. Aron just looked at us walking away.


    By his reaction I can see that he was upset. It might be that he saw someone caring me like him. I could sense him but ignored the fact as I remembered that I have to give a shape to my life and shouldn''t hold the past.


    I and Aron sat in my cabin chairs and discussed work. He was happy to see me and we got engaged in work. After an hour , we two got tired and just sat in silence. Fritz broke the silence saying , "Melissa , so happy to see you , I really like you , I don''t know why , but I do. I just want to make you happy. I just ...", "It''s fine Fritz , I understand" I interrupted. Fritz moved towards me and I was taken by his green eyes. His warmth was getting closer and our lips was an inch distant. The door suddenly opened and we two jumped in awkwardness. It was Aron , he was looking at me, "Get ready, it''s time for your injection" he said , "Fritz , if you may" , he added up. Fritz nodded and he left the room. Aron came and sat beside me. "you love him?" he asked. "He proposed to me the night we stumbled onto each other" I said to him. I could sense Aron''s irritation. He took the needle and disinfected my arm. I was sitting still , my eyes at Aron. He slowly injected the needle and it did hurt this time. I made a light scream and he rubbed my arms slowly to seize the pain. I slowly became unconscious but this time , I was feeling the same pain in my head again. I moved my head and slowly everything went black.


    I woke after sometime and Fritz was beside me. "Good morning" , he smiled. I smiled back, I was taken away from his looks the first time. "Can I ask you something", Fritz said. I nodded my head. "How do you know Aron , why did your parents gave the permission to him to keep you at his? He asked . "Aron , is my childhood friend , best friends we were, I saw him after many years , he understands me and my parents know about him." I answered. Fritz was shocked. "Why didn''t you tell me earlier?" he questioned. "Because there was nothing to explain", a deep voice spoke from the cabin door. Aron was standing. He came closer and checked my pulse. "All good , Melissa" he said to me. Fritz looked at him and stood up to offer him seat. "We should head home now , no more stress for today" Aron ordered. I didn''t say anything back as I was obliged to follow him. Fritz nodded too and we hugged and bade goodbye.


    On the way to his house , he looked numb with irritation maybe anger. "You didn''t answer my question Melissa" , "do you love him?" he asked. His voice changed to a calm sensation. "What''s your problem Aron?", I said with a loud voice. "This is because I fucking love you Melissa" his voice changed into anger. I couldn''t hold my anger and shouted, "And what about the time when I fucking loved you huh? No answer right , You lost me , Aron. You cared for Mary , you always talked about her , You hurt me Aron , You have always given pain to me. Whenever you needed me , I was there , at night , at midnight , I helped you , supported you , cared for you" I sobbed , tears rolled down. Aron''s eyes were on the road , he understood what I meant. "You fucking left me , Aron. Mary never knew what makes you happy , I was begging for you Aron, I loved you my whole life but you disappeared and now you fucking came back to say that you love me , huh?" , I stopped , my heart was hurting like these words were stuck for too long in me , hurting me. Aron became quiet. And we had a silent ride home. We got to his house. I quickly Ran to my room and locked the door. I don''t know what I was doing. I always carry a blade in my pockets. Don''t judged me but that''s what I am. I took it out , saw my left hand veins and slide it over it, it really hurt bad and I screamed. My scream startled Aron , and he came to the door , knocking at it , "Melissa , I am sorry , please don''t do anything foolish , please" Aron shouted, He had tears in his eyes but I was taken by the blood flowing through my veins that I collapsed. I could hear screams of him. He opened the lock by a spare key and came running to me on the floor. He held me in his arms , "Melissa , Melissa? Hey , what did you do ? why? God , the blood is flowing , Melissa , can you hear me?" Aron panicked but I was unconscious.


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    I opened my eyes to the same white ceiling but this time there were doctors surrounding me. I was given blood. I also saw that some doctors were talking with Aron but I felt too weak. My eyes closed .


    I don''t know why I attempt these foolish life taking measures but it''s just gives me peace, I escape from world but Aron saved me. The cut was deep. The words that I told Aron in the car had hurt him more than me as it was the truth.


    I opened my eyes to see Fritz , looking up at me and he smiled loosely. I didn''t show any reaction. Aron came from the doors and near my bed. He looked at me and suddenly placed the prints of his five fingers on my face. I was shocked. "Sir , are you out of your mind?" Fritz shouted. "Just shut up , she needed it." Aron said by looking at me. I was holding my red cheeks. "Fritz , can you just tell Aron to go away ?I need a minute with you" I said. Aron moved away without a word , his eyes fuming with anger. I looked at Fritz, " I love you , Fritz , will you always stay beside me". Fritz was taken aback. He held my hands and nodded , his green eyes turned hazy with tears. I noticed Aron at the door, his head was down , I assumed that he might have listened to me.


    The doctors released me the following morning and Aron came and helped me to get inside the car. "I am happy for you , Melissa , really , I am" , Aron said. "You heard us ?" I enquired. He nodded and I kept quiet. We reached home and he helped me to my room and kept my door open. "Don''t close the door", he ordered. "What did the doctor say? When can I go home?" I asked. "You need to be under observation as long as your mental state isn''t recovered." He said. While walking out the door , he turned back like he wanted to say something but he didn''t. He went straight to his room. At dinner table , we didn''t share a word. Once it was bedtime and I was getting ready to sleep , I heard sobbing from his room. Aron is crying? Was it because of me? I quietly went to his room and waited by the door. I knocked after the sob stopped. Aron opened the door , his eyes were red with sadness , "Oh, do you need something , the meds are on the table , did you take that?" he asked like nothing happened. "Uh yes, I took the meds, can I come inside?" I said. He opened the door and my eyes straight went to the photo frame of me and him at the time of high school. I stared at it. "We were so innocent" Aron said. "You mean I" I rectified laughingly. He nodded. I went towards Aron and hugged him tight. He stumbled but understood my consoling. He hugged me tight. It was about a min or two , we were standing like that.


    "Good night , Snowflake" Aron said. I looked at him. Snowflake was the name my dad used to call me. They had called Aron to know about my health yesterday. They did speak to me . But dare he call me snowflake. "Good night", I said. I walked out as he saw me going.


    Bonds are so strange. It disconnects but still finds a way to connect itself. Humans are so strange , they can never solve the conflict between the heart and the mind. My heart wanted Aron but my mind wants me to be happy with Fritz.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 SOMETHING NEW

    Tomorrow would be my last day in Aron''s house. It''s almost a week and I am starting to feel better. Aron did take good care of me. My medicines are now less and I am working normally. Fritz and I couldn''t catch up on each other cause of our recent promotion. We were waiting for it for such a long time. After promotion , we would be transferred to Tokyo. I love the cherry blossoms in Japan and so do Fritz. But , Aron would be alone here. Why do I care for him anyways? I can have a better life in Tokyo. I told my parents yesterday and they supported me. My parents are supportive. They wished me luck for my promotion.


    "Hey" , I called Aron, he was sitting in the easy chair reading a novel. He looked at me. "hi , you woke up early , breakfast on the table", Aron said cheerfully. I nodded my head and while I grabbed my plate , there was a letter from Aron. I looked at him and he motioned his hand to read the letter. I opened it nervously.


    Hey Melissa ,


    It''s strange that I understand now that some things are better explained in papers and you love handwritten messages.


    First of all congratulations for your promotion which got passed today. I am so happy for you to go to Tokyo. Fritz is going along with you.


    Melissa, I care for you. I was insensitive in teenage years but now I see those sacrifices you did to me. I really admire you. You are a real high valued lady. Hats Off.


    Melissa, I had a talk with Fritz and he is deeply in love with you. You will get a good husband there , a new life there. Please , don''t hold to any past. I love you Melissa but it would be wrong. So, Live a Happy and Beautiful life. You have my blessings always. You are a gem, always keep your head up.


    I love you , and will always. Fate might not be on our side . We weren''t meant for each other right? But if you ever want to talk with anyone , I am and would be always there.


    Purely Beloved


    ARON


    My eyes were full of tears. Aron came from the back and hugged me. "It''s alright , have a great life. I will look after the arrangements over there. Be happy , dear snowflake , be happy always" Aron''s voice was calm. He released me from his arms and went to his room. We didn''t talk from that moment. Dinner time was silent too and the bed time became more silent. He came to give my last injection and this time , I handed him a letter. "For you" I said. He looked at the envelope shockingly and took it.


    Dear ARON


    Thank you for your letter earlier. I want you to be happy too. I don''t know what to write because my heart is empty. Fritz might fulfil it but some part would be always for you. I loved you , love you but there is no future for us. I just wish that we stay this close. Even if we weren''t meant for each other, still I want you to hug me at my best and worst. Always be on my side , please. I can never live without you . Never ever. I care for you till now but my future is in Tokyo , perhaps with Fritz.


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    Stay Happy Aron.


    Yours Melissa


    Aron closed the letter and kept it by his pocket. He injected my medicine and before going kissed on forehead.


    I went to sleep but there are so many things disturbing me and crushing me. I am afraid to fully fall in love with Fritz. He is good but..


    When I woke up the next morning , Aron was packing my stuff and after breakfast we went to work. As soon as I arrived , there were celebrations for our promotion. "Hey dear , congrats" Fritz said. "You too" I said cheerfully. The whole department was happy that we had champagne.


    All of a sudden Fritz spoke up. "Excuse me everyone , there is something I want to tell". Fritz said and he held my hand and brought me towards the centre. Aron was standing at the back and everyone looked at us confused. "Melissa, thank you for being with me , I hope our future stays this beautiful" Fritz said . I was shocked , nervous as everyone looked at us in awe, Suddenly he kneeled against me with a ring in his hand "Meli, will you be mine forever? Will you marry me?" Fritz said, his green eyes shining with hope. I pressed my hands on my mouth in shock. I looked at Aron , he has tears in his eyes for me , still he nodded at me. Everyone was hoping for me to say yes. My stomach twisted with pain after seeing Aron''s tears. He cheered up suddenly , " go , start something new , say yes Melissa". Everyone started cheering with his rhythm. Fritz longed for me. "YES" I said. My life got a new start from that on. Fritz hugged me and kissed my lips. My eyes closed as I was too weak to handle my heart cursing me. Everyone was so happy. They hugged me and at last Aron came. "Congrats snowflake". Aron said. I nodded and he patted my head.


    My life took a new turn as within a week , I am leaving UK , leaving Aron. My heart is still fighting to stay with Aron but my mind is holding me back to step into the past. Am I cheating Fritz then? No , It''s just feelings , will go with time.


    Dinner date was organised by our friends and we enjoyed , I mean Fritz enjoyed.


    Came back to Aron''s home and slept in my allotted room the last time. Aron didn''t kissed my forehead today. Maybe , he thinks that he shouldn''t as the ring on my ring finger which is diamond finished states that I am engaged.


    Life is so unexpectable. I wish I stay happy. Good night Aron and goodbye too.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------*----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 TOKYO

    I was done packing and handed my keys to the owner. I took cab to the airport where my colleagues would be waiting for us to say goodbye. Aron might be there too. I am upset and excited too. I got messages from Aron that our tickets are booked and seats are planned. We got a big apartment as we are engaged in Tokyo. He seemed excited.


    I arrived at the airport and bed goodbye to the colleagues. Aron wasn''t there and Fritz was late. After some minutes he arrived. "Hey , sorry Meli , just traffic was harsh" Fritz said. "It''s fine hurry up. Um , Fritz , by any chance did you see Aron?" I questioned. "Sorry but no" he said. I nodded . He placed his arms around my shoulder and we left for our security check. I looked back the last time but Aron wasn''t there. Our flight took off and we held onto our breathes for a new start.


    "It''s fine Meli , Aron would contact you later" Fritz broke the silence. Did I look too tensed or something? "Yeah , no it''s fine" I added quickly. Our flight was smooth but was a 3 hour flight. I slept for 2 hours and then ordered snacks. For the whole flight Fritz can''t stop planning about our future. I got tensed when he mentioned our wedding and children. "Fritz , time is the god , don''t predict things from now" I said irritated. Fritz was shocked and decided to keep quiet. Our flight landed and it was a relief. There were agents and drivers to drive us to our Apartment. On the way , we saw our office. It was big and beautiful. Flowers of different colours added to it''s beauty. The apartment given was really big. It was two stored bungalow with two bedrooms well furnished with peach colour. There was a big open kitchen and two powder rooms. It was beautiful as a small garden was made with marigold flowers. It felt wonderful as a cherry tree was just beside us. "You like it?" Fritz said "I chose it because the cherry tree was just beside , I know how much u like cherry blossoms" He added. "Oh my my , thanks Fritz" I gasped at everything. I was so excited.


    Fritz offered the upstairs room to me and I unpacked the things. Suddenly I saw a photo frame looking at me through my bag. I gasped as I looked at the photo. It was me in my childhood and this is my favourite picture. I assumed that Aron had put it before I left. The picture reminded of myself. I kept it at the bed table and showered. I went downstairs and made coffee for Fritz and me.


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    "It''s so much peace here , isn''t it , Melissa?" Fritz spoke up. I looked at him , "It is" I replied. It was really peaceful. I found comfort in Fritz arms and slept there only. It wasn''t until dinner time that I woke up. I saw the whole room dark and a way of candle lights leading the dining place . I followed the path until I gasped when I felt two arms grabbed me from the back. "Fritz?" I enquired. "Yes , dear, who did you think can touch you without your permission?" he spoke up , his voice calm and cold. I gasped some air when I felt his lips going down my neck. Fritz stopped just on my shoulder and enquired me , "Hungry?", "Yes please" I said. He picked me up in his arms at once and I could see his jawline perfectly masculine. We had dinner together and on my way to the bed he called me again, "Meli" . "Yes?" I said. He came closer to me and hugged me tight. "Promise me that u will never ever leave me, promise me that you will always stay beside me" He said, he voice calm and composed. "Don''t worry , I will" I assured . I slowly kissed him in his lips and it was deep. It was the first time that I was really falling for him. But the kiss was perhaps a mistake as he kissed me back deeply, gripping my neck and falling with me on the bed. We kissed like our hungry souls needed assurance. When he tried to take my sweatshirt off , I hesitated. He understood me and just nodded. "It''s fine , we have all life , good night to you  Meli" Fritz said I just stayed quiet as I was still processing some thoughts.


    The next day was our first joining date and everyone wished us good morning. The staff members were nice enough to take us for a visit of our office. We are the head of the new project and we were well aware of our job and this continued. Our life with work and limited physical contact until we get comfortable with each other.


    There are times when you try hard to forget something by experiencing something new but those memories just rise up in front of you in every alike moments. I guess that''s why people tell that Love is the most Dangerous Addiction.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    <h2> </h2>

 PERMANENT BONDS , IS IT ?

    It''s been two months and Aron never messaged me. Fritz and I told our parents and they were happy about our decision. We arranged our marriage in November, another autumn month where my life''s longest journey would start. We are waiting for it though. We settled our marriage destination in UK only in the restaurant THAI TONIC , where Fritz first proposed me. It was fritz idea only to have a new start. We packed our bags and our friends there were preparing for our wedding.


    Time flies away so quickly that I never realised that it was going to be 1 year that I met Aron , in the season of Autumn , the season of fall.


    I and Fritz grew busy in our works but always found time for few dates and dinners. My distance grew from Aron and it became close with Fritz. I was enjoying my life and just waiting for the wedding day to arrive.


    It''s just one month left and we are doing our packing. Our flight is in just three hours and we were running late. "Are u done dear?" Fritz said. "Just a minute Fritz" I hurridly said as I was packing the photo frame Aron gave me.


    We reached the airport and off we went to security checking. Our flight was on time and we departed at the right time. Our plane took off for our 3 hours flight and I was nervous. Fritz held my hand the entire time. We were informed of bad weather ahead and was instructed to stay in our seats. Our food came after an hour and I ordered non-veg for ourselves. We love meat . As soon as we were going to take our bites, the plane started to shake harshly. Our food fell off the food tray and Fritz grabbed my waist as I was about to bump my head to the front seat. I was scared and Fritz closed my eyes with his palm. "Don''t worry , Meli , it was just the clouds perhaps." Fritz consoled. The announcements were made to stay still in our seats and I could sense a tension between the flight attendants as they rushed here and there. "Something is wrong , Fritz" I enquired. "It would be fine" Fritz calmingly said. But my mind was not agreeing to Fritz words. The plane started shaking Adversely and it was loosing control.


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    The captain announced that one of the engines failed and we would have to make an emergency landing. I was left numb. My mind was out of thoughts as Fritz shook my shoulder and looked at me straight. "Everything is going to be alright, ok?" his eyes had tears , tears of fear , fear of loosing me. I nodded and then he said, "I love you the most Melissa Meli" His voice cracked with tears and I hugged him tight. We were going to land now as the plane faced downwards. The chance of survival was next to none for either of the passengers as we saw the flames roaring at us from the left engine. "I love you too , Fritz , we would always be together" I said and my heart was swelling with tears, and these were the tears of loosing Fritz as I really started to like him.


    We looked into each other with our eyes filled with sorrow and hope. The plane was going downwards and we experienced a blast on the left side as we crash landed on the runway. Everything went black and the only thing I could hear was screams , screams of people , sound of fire trucks and ambulance. I could feel nothing but pain . I couldn''t see anything , my eyes were hurting , I could hear my breathe slowing falling when a paramedic came in front of me and shaking my head if I was conscious . I tried to look , I wanted to find Fritz but everything seemed so dark.


    Time is such a great player. It changes one''s fate in seconds and can destroy a whole life in minutes. Tragic hits hard when you really love a person and that gives you unbearable pain. I suffered through it ones , Will I have to suffer this time too? Won''t there be any hope?


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 LOVE AND LOSS

    It was so strange as I could only hear screams and sounds of people around me. I felt like I was tied up but it was just the channels made. I was in a hospital bed and there were several passengers alongside me , some were lifeless and somewhere in critical condition. I felt weak but still , I searched for Fritz. Where is he anyway? I groaned and a doctor came near me . He was wearing a white coat and had masks on his face. He instructed the nurse to put a needle inside my channel and I was left unconscious.


    My mind was still searching for Fritz. We are getting married this month. All the joy and happiness suddenly got in mist. My eyes didn''t open until I heard a voice, "Hey , Melissa? Melissa! Hey , are you fine?" the voice was deep , panicking and full of tension. I opened my eyes and Aron was standing beside me. My face was still full of worries. I searched around and found that I was shifted to another room. "Aron" my voice calm but still in panic, "Fritz? Where''s he?" I asked , my eyes concerned. Aron looked down at me and shook his head. He tried to keep his composure, "Melissa" he said , his voice alarmingly calm. "Where is he? I wanna see him now" my voice was raised like I was desperate . "He isn''t here anymore" his head pointing downwards. "Where is he , Aron? Please tell me?" I begged. "He died in that crash , only a few survived, I am sorry.." Aron was interrupted by my loud voice. "Shut the fuck up , Aron , don''t play games , he is here somewhere , please Aron , please.." The tears flowed down my cheek as Aron stood there still.


    Fritz hadn''t made it. My engagement ring broke that day , along with those hopeful dreams.


    I was there in the hospital. My parents and Fritz parents came to meet me but a bond was broken , it was destroyed. My mom took care of me at the hospital . She wish to had a conversation with me but I was left in utter shock. For 5 days , I didn''t talk to anyone until the 6 th day , I called Aron.


    "Hey , you wanted to see me" Aron said while entering the hospital door.


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    "Yeah , I need a favour" I said, "I want to get back to UK and resign from , THE FUTURE WITH US." I stopped.


    Aron was quiet so I started speaking again, "Aron , Fritz was my work partner and my...you know that , but he isn''t here anymore and I don''t want to got back to work even though I love it. At this point of time , I want to do something which gives me peace." I stopped. Aron nodded , understanding my words, "Coffee shop?" He asked.


    He knew about me and so I nodded. He smiled, "Melissa, if you want that , you should go for it but remember , anytime you wanna work for us , we are always open for you. I am sorry for Fritz but I want you to make a new start with yourself" Aron said.


    I am still in shock about Fritz . I still wanna be with him , I want him to kiss me like before but....


    I was recovering fast and luckily my resignation letter was passed. I want to build up myself and follow something new , something more creative . My old friends are helping me to find a place for my coffee shop. Tomorrow I would be released and go to my apartment. Mom and Dad went today and I am alone.


    I am not gonna lie but am missing Fritz. Why do we have to come back to UK? Hadn''t we come , none of this would happen. I am still looking at my ring , shining brightly like nothing has changed but the whole world has turned upside down. Loosing someone at this point of time is unbearable. I am still processing things as some of Fritz accessories are with me. I would keep some and donate as Fritz loved kids. I want to start new and this time with myself. I want to move on from this hurtful trauma but the loved ones are hard to be forgotten.


    Tomorrow when i step out of the hospital , i hope to be determined to find happiness in my passion . I hope to get success. I hope to find hope , in this darkness.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 A NEW START

    It''s been 2 days since I came to my new apartment and settling things ''alone''. The cartoons in the rooms are still scattered here and there. The apartment is in the 15 th floor. It was organised by Aron only . The apartment is little too big for me. It has two luxurious rooms , one furnished kitchen and one washroom with fine tiling. The view from the balcony which is on the East side is beautiful. The sun wakes me every morning prompting me for a new start. '' A new start in which Fritz is not a part of ''.


    I looked for ideas for my new coffee shop in Pinterest and found some amazing aesthetic ideas for it. I am looking forward to make the shop of my dream place. It was 8 in the morning that I woke up and had myself a cup of coffee. The view from my balcony also reflects a park where young kids were playing and their mothers were having their own gossips. It was peaceful there , no noise , no disturbance. I should thank Aron for this beautiful gift . After resignation , I feel relieved at some extent , though I miss work very much but still some time off of it is good.


    I went to shower and had my new clothes on for the survey of the markets to find new floorings , tiles , chairs and tables. As I was departing from my apartment , I heard a knock. No one was going to come now. I slowly walked towards the door and opened it.


    "Aron?" I said in shock. He looked at me and the purple dress that I was wearing.


    "Um , Yeah , did I disturb you?" He asked , his voice jolly and friendly.


    "Yeah like I was going to a survey for my coffee shop items." I said. I could feel my voice breaking as I was too nervous at that time. Fritz was gone and I am still in that grief. His photograph is framed in my bedroom and sometimes I go under a series of breakdown just thinking about the life we had and the plane crash that changed our lives. I still feel the scar on my left hand that is left as the only sign of the crash.


    It was quiet for a moment and then he spoke up, "I just came to check up on you , I know it''s hard.." "I know" cutting his sentence off. I motioned him to excuse me and then I locked the apartment door. "Thanks Aron , this apartment is beautiful, but if you will excuse me now." I said thankfully. "Uh , yeah sure, if you ever need anything you can just give a call" He said. I nodded and walked off, he was still standing by the corridor and watched me walked out. My phone was crushed on the incident and that is why I couldn''t contact anyone. I was also going to buy a new phone and perhaps get a haircut as I really need refreshment. So off I go.


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    There was a mechanical store from where I bought a new phone , I transferred all the necessary numbers and information in that. I was walking towards to find a salon and found one down the street. I entered the salon and I was greeted. I sat in one of the chairs as the salon was quite empty. There were two girls having their hair coloured and they were giggling and laughing.


    "Welcome ma''am , what kind of haircut do you want?" A young man with brown hair asked me. He was wearing a spa uniform and looked quite dedicated in it.


    "Yes , I want to cut my hair up to my shoulder please." I said. He smiled and nodded.


    "Do you want to get it coloured?" He asked. I thought for a second and then went for it.


    "Which colour would suit me , mister" I asked.


    "Anything that makes you feel good" he said. Somehow I felt good in that sentence.


    "Blue then" I said, he nodded and went for his mission.


    It took 2 whole hours to complete and finish everything. He worked with so much dedication. I was shocked to see myself a little different. My brown eyes gazed in the blue highlights of my hair.


    "Did you like it?" He asked.


    "Absolutely , thank you" I said. I went to pay for it and gave a big nice tip .He asked my name for the bill.


    "Melissa Mali it is" I said. He nodded and asked me to visit again.


    "What''s your name , mister?" I asked .


    "Ethan it is" He smiled.


    I smiled back and off I went.


    I felt confident in my new hair and decided to buy some new clothes and then to the furniture shops. My only mission in this day is to have the long lost fun and enjoyment. I reminisce those old times when I alone used to roam the streets of UK with fun and self love. I was recovering by mind and soul. I was planning my dreams and this is the best thing to do.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 NIGHT OUT

    I returned home around 7 in the evening. I had lunch in Keventers and went for ice ¨C creams too. I bought some furniture items and ordered some for my caf¨¦. I am really excited for my passion this time. I went to my bedroom to grab my clothes when the same picture of Fritz and mine caught my eye again. It was infront of our Tokyo house with the cherry blossom tree behind it . I sighed deeply . I indeed miss Fritz. The coffee shop is just an excuse to keep myself busy so that I don''t breakdown.


    While returning from the malls , I noticed a new drinks shop opened there. It looked so cleaned and polished. I want to go there but going alone would be a little awkward so I have decided to call Aron, would that be awkward?


    I texted him,


    "Hey , Um...I am thinking of going to the new club that opened today in the downtown , will you have time to go there?"


    His response came in a minute like somehow he was always waiting for a message of mine.


    "Hey>> yeah sure , at 9 then".


    I was excited and nervous at the same time. It''s like I am hanging out for the first time with Aron . But it''s not worth overthinking as I am going there to enjoy myself there.


    I looked up for some new dresses that I purchased today and found one shining black dress that I had specially purchased for any occasion. I put some makeup on and it was after weeks that I felt pretty and decorated.


    It was 8:55 when Aron arrived in his metallic black car and I hopped downstairs as I was excited for the club. He came out and looked at me. "You...uh...look good" his voice nervous. "Thanks" I just gave a quick smile and he opened the car door for me. I went inside and headed to our destination. In the car , he pulled up one of my favourite music ''Escapism'' and I was humming with the music. He began the conversation as , "So , how did you decide on going to the club?". I didn''t know myself but I began as , "I saw the outlet and it looked quite good and charming from the outside, the night lights might make it more beautiful , so ...uh...a little mind deflection" I stopped. He just nodded and not long we reached the club.


    ''NIGHT OUTS'' , the words were shining with colourful Disco lights. It looked so fashionable and pretty . I got out from the car and Aron and I went inside. Songs were playing and people were dancing their heart out. The bottles were designed in those shelves neatly and waiters were moving here and there for their orders.


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    Aron''s phone was ringing and he excused himself for a minute. I went to one of the seats and looked at the drinks list. A waiter came to take the order and when I looked at him , I was amazed , "Ethan!! What are you...like how?" . He recognised me and laughed. "Hi , Melissa right? this is my family''s club and I work for the salon as my passion" He smiled. He is following his passion alongside his job and responsibility. That''s great. I smiled back and ordered a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He looked a little confused as Aron was not beside me. "Um , my friend is outside for a call , he would be here any minute now." I said. "That''s fine , Champagne coming up , ma''am" He laughed. I too giggled with him and waited for Aron. When Aron came after a minute , he looked a bit tensed. "What happened?" I asked. "Melissa , I am sorry , I have to go , there had been some faults in work , I have to check it out , I am sorry." "Bu..t..." Without listening to me , he rushed out. Everything is falling out of place and everyone is slowing going farther . I was just getting up when Ethan came, "hey , your order , where''s your...umm...friend?". "He had some work , I am sorry, you can keep that back , and how much do I have to pay or something?" I asked unknowingly. "Nah, it''s fine , you can sit down , we are going to have dance after this." His voice was friendly. I nodded and decided to take some mental notes on the decoration.


    It was around 10 pm when the dance started. Everyone had their pairs and I just saw them dancing. Ethan came out of the blue and offered his hand for a dance. I shook my head but he insisted. I went along and danced with the flow. It was fun until the last beat had me and Ethan close enough. My breathe got lost as he gazed into my eyes. Those sparks were coming from his eyes and his face revealed like he''s waiting for the next move. I was feeling that Fritz was touching me again. I gasped some air and got nervous, " S..Sorry...Sorry ....i ...uh..just..i am sorry" I rushed to the front door ran. I saw people looking at me but the only thing that came to my mind was-


    I can''t fall in love, because for me , being in love takes every inch of my heart , it breaks me , twists me and scatters me into pieces. Ethan''s eyes had that charm but....i can''t , I have to get bold this time and forever. My life can never be completed without Fritz.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 SURPRISE!

    I took a long sleep till 11 am this morning as I was tired , mentally. I am still processing things about the last night. To distract my mind I called mom and dad for a while. They were happy to listen to my voice. They wished me too. Yes , it is my birthday today . It''s summer time , probably a more soothing season than Winter. My colleagues have wished me too and I am preparing some special dishes for myself today. Maybe Indian . I''ll think it later as I prefer fried eggs and coffee for breakfast. I fresh myself before going out to check the place for my caf¨¦. When I was departing , I received a message , it was from Aron.


    "Hey>> there is an urgent work , can you please come to THE FUTURE WITH US now."


    "Oh , ok , am on my way." I replied


    An urgent meeting in the office? I was confused but I booked a cab to go there instead of checking my place. It was a long drive of approx. 45 minutes. I took an apartment far there intentionally so that I can get my mind off work but after seeing Ethan , he is managing both his passion and his responsibility. I am little motivated but I need some time and space off everything as the memories of Fritz still roams around. Moreover , I don''t want to engage myself with anyone specially Aron as this time is for me and myself. I am lost somehow but I want to figure it out. I know I should move on but I want someone who can really take me as a priority and not as an option. Specially , I don''t want anyone with whom I had a past , a more traumatizing past though.


    I reached the office and nothing was changed. I was welcomed and recognised by the guards there. I left my cab and proceeded to enter the building. It all seemed so dark there. No lights were on and I stumbled upon a balloon, lying on the floor . I picked it up and suddenly loud crackers bust over my head, "Surprise , Meli . Surprise , a very very happy birthday to you." My colleagues shouted. I smiled without me knowing. It was a true smile , I was happy to see everyone again. Aron stood at the back with the 4 storied cake on his hand and I sighed at the decorations that were made for me.


    "Happy Birthday Melissa , Happy 25 to you , may god bless you forever". Aron said.


    "Thank you" I said to him. "Thank you everyone , thanks a lot" I looked around and said.


    "Make a wish" Aron said. A wish? What can I wish for? I thought for a second and then said, "I wish to give myself all the happiness that I had taken away from myself" , I said it quietly and Aron could only hear that , then blew the candles. Aron smiled and I bowed to everyone. We cut the cake and distributed. It was a big party indeed. I danced with my colleagues and they laughed with me.


    We celebrated so much that I totally forgot to check the place for my caf¨¦. Anyway , I have time tomorrow as my furnitures might arrive. I had a good day with my colleagues and Aron too. He prepared this , I am thankful.


    Sometimes I think that I should give Aron a chance for a relationship but I know what I have been through. I had starved myself , even tried to kill myself because of the pain. He just simply walked out when I really needed him by my side. For him , Mary became his priority back then , Mary , who didn''t even knew him well. I didn''t envy her , I just wished he understood me . If even I could go to my past , I would never allow myself to get indulged with Aron. If .... I could .... I would .... I really want to get past this.


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    The next morning , I had to wake up at 6 am , as the drive to my caf¨¦ is about 2 hours . Yes , its on the country side and Aron proposed to accompany me as I somehow seemed nervous to go there. I didn''t disagree as it was Sunday and his office was off. But I know that I have to maintain distance.


    He was waiting in his car and opened the door for me, "Good morning , Melissa , so , what''s the address of ur shop?" He said. " Hey , good morning, the address is 73 Walter house , on the country side" I said. "2 hours?" he exclaimed. I nodded and he laughed , "That''s why we are departing at 6:30 am ... now I understand , never mind , get up in the car , brought coffees." I smiled and hopped in the car. My favourite caramel coffee was there but I didn''t say anything just , "Thanks Aron". He nodded and off we go for our journey.


    After half an hour , he said , "Melissa , can I ask you a question?" His voice seemed deep .


    I nodded but I am afraid everytime he wants to ask something with a serious look.


    "I know it''s hard to loose Fritz , but you are a young lady ... why don''t you like try to uh.... Move on?" he paused. "Aron , I fell in love with Fritz even though I denied it at first, I know that I should um...move on but I also know that until the right person comes , I should not indulge myself , specially with somehow who has traumatized my past". I looked at Aron and he understood that I indicated him.... There was silence. The tears just started to appear in my eyes and I was trying hard to hold it. I couldn''t understand why there were tears. I just felt pain like I was lying to myself. Aron pulled up his car , it was near a bridge and the path to country side was full of green lands and our car was the only one. "Open the doors , let''s take some rest" Aron said. Had he seen my tears ? I don''t know. I quietly went outside as I needed some air.


    After a minute , my tears dried up in my eyes . "Melissa , can you admit a truth" He asked. "What truth?" I said quietly. "If I tell you to start all over again , even in the future , will you forgive me and reconsider me , Melissa ? will you love me and be mine forever , will you let me stay beside you and kiss you till the dawn ? will you stay beside me and let both of us be happy?" He stopped.


    My eyes grew numb, I ran towards him and hugged him tightly , he did the same to avoid falling and balanced both of us. I said, my voice breaking with tears , "Aron... I love you till now , b...but... I am afraid of loosing you , am afraid that I will hurt myself again, I am afraid of myself , my love never went away , it just faded , faded in those hurtful memories that I can never get out of my mind."


    I released myself and ran to the opposite direction where suddenly I was hit by something , something powerful and my world seemed dark. I couldn''t feel anything nor see. I just felt my heart getting lighter by the honest confessions but slowly I became blank in my universe.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 wabi-sabi

    I was hearing some beeping sounds which seemed familiar to me. There were machines running and I had stitches on my head and arms. I felt numb but realized that something happened to me when I was feeling pain , physically , the pain ran across my head and my eyes were getting tired. There was no one . A bell was attached there and I tried to ring it. As soon as I rang the bell , I could see some doctors coming and along with them , a man , seemed in his 30 s came rushing. "Hey , Melissa , are u ok?" That man said. Melissa? Who''s this. I just stared at him. He was shaking me and I felt afraid. The doctors took him outside and I asked that nurse, "Wh..What happened?" The nurse looked at me like she was feeling sorry. After injecting a needle in my channel , she said, "Ma''am , you have been through an accident , some parts of your memory has been temporarily lost as your brain suffered through a critical injury." She looked down. I couldn''t process anything but saw a woman in her 50 s and a man in his 60 s coming to me. They seemed like a married couple and at some extent I felt that I could recognise them.


    "Snowflake?" The elderly man exclaimed , his voice was calm . I looked straight at his eyes. "I .. I know you" I said hesitantly. The woman started to tear up and I felt bad . I just have some fade images going on in my mind. The doctor came and asked me if I could recognise them but I didn''t give an answer .They seemed close to me and I looked at them for long. "Meli , you would be discharged tomorrow , and after that we will take you to your apartment and stay with you until you recover , right?" The woman told. I felt protected so I just nod a little. The world seemed so blank . Have I lost my memory ? My name is Melissa as everyone is telling but .... I can''t remember anything at this instant.


    At the night time , I went towards the window side where I saw the moonlight coming. There was a man sitting outside in the campus , I recognise him , he came at first to see me. I looked for a really long time but the more I thought , the more I could feel some pain. My eyes suddenly went to the scar marks on my left wrist and I felt afraid of myself , I looked at it for long but couldn''t remember how it happened. I feel lost , lost in every sphere.


    The next morning I went with my parents whom I recognise a little. My apartment looked familiar but the photo of another man in my bedroom caught my eyes. ''I love you , Fritz'' was written beneath. I stared at it and my mom came. She took full 3 hours to tell me about my late fianc¨¦. She told me some childhood memories and Aron , that guy who came to see me. I was understanding little by little but still my thoughts were tangled. She told me that Aron is my best friend and he used to care for me. I was still in confusion but she gave me all her time to adapt.


    After a week or two , my stitches were cut and mom took me to a salon for a fresh haircut. It was down the street and I was remembering some details that I had once visited the road. When I entered the salon , a young man stared at me , I didn''t give much attention until that man offered to cut and colour my hair. I was enjoying the process.. "Melissa , sorry for that night" He spoke , his voice calm and quiet. I listened to it but didn''t give much attention and just said , "It''s fine". I don''t know why I gave that response but he smiled at that. ''Ethan'' , the name was written on his batch. He seemed a handsome guy and probably knows me. After I was done , my mom gave a satisfactory look at me and tipped him well. I said thanks and he bowed at it.


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    "Mom , do you know anyone called Ethan?" I asked. She looked confused too , "I don''t remember you mentioning anyone named Ethan , but why?". "Nah , it''s fine , just a random one." I changed the subject. Suddenly a phone call came and it was named , ''coffee shop''. My mom saw it and answered. She went a little far and talked for some minutes. She came back and I asked her about it. "Meli , you wanted to built a coffee shop and the furniture have arrived , they just confirmed it. I just told them to put inside as I want you to take rest and start new after a while." Mom said. I agreed as I am a kind of a child now since my memory is still gone. We had fun when dad came and we three had dinner outside . It was a fun day though and we enjoyed it the fullest.


    At night , when everyone fell asleep , I checked some old stuffs of mine. Some photographs of me and Fritz , childhood memories , my certificate of being an Astrophysicist and pictures of my team where I recognised that man named Aron.


    Every time I try to remember Aron, there is a voice in my heart which tells me not to search down too deep , it hurts and unknowingly tears fall down. I couldn''t remember how I got into the accident. The last thing I remember is I was holding someone very tightly , he was close and then everything seemed black. Who is this man , Aron? and moreover who is Ethan again? Everything seemed so imperfect.


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 MEMORIES

    It''s been a month now and some memories are recovered like of Fritz , mom , dad and my work place , little friendships with Aron and all. Mom and Dad are returning today to their home and I am going to visit the coffee shop. I booked a cab and off me go. The path was full of green grasslands , it was on the country side and there was peace there. When the car was going to the bridge , I somehow recall this place , I have been here before , I remember that I was getting hurt and I hugged a person but I ran away and something crashed against me. There are fading memories , still , I can''t recall that person nor the exact event. My head was hurting so I decided to see the nature and relax with it.


    It was long 2 hours drive from my apartment and the place looked quiet. There were tress around and small houses. The furniture had arrived there and the coffee shop was under maintenance , my mother had selected the colours and arrangement , it was going good. I took some rest beneath the tress and was listening to some soothing music This place is the best , perhaps , I will shift my home here , in this solitude place.


    There came a notification suddenly and it was from that salon guy , Ethan,


    ''Hey , Melissa , this is Ethan , got your number from the bill. Do you want to come tonight at the club , there is going to be some special champagnes coming today''.


    Club? Have I gone there ? I saw it on the way , it seemed beautiful though but I couldn''t remember it well.


    "ohk , I will see"


    I still can''t remember about Ethan but I find him nice and polite , so why not have some fun. I returned home at around 6 pm and got ready for the club. I picked a shining black dress , the dress is recognisable to me. I had wore it once as long as I remembered. I put on some makeup and looked in the mirror. Some faded flashbacks of the club is coming to me. Ethan''s family run the club and I met him at the salon only. Oh god! I remember him , but there something happened for which I ran away from that club. I couldn''t get all of it but I am happy that I am remembering things. It''s been 1 month that the man name Aron didn''t come to my notice. I was curious at first but then I let that be.


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    I reached the club around 9 pm and Ethan personally guided me to a reserved table. White champagne was kept and it looked expensive. I smiled and thanked him.


    We sat together but then a hand landed on my shoulder. I got nervous and looked back. There was a tall , muscular figure wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans looking at me, smiling. "Melissa?" He said , his voice seemed conscious. I didn''t recognise him at first but then remembered him from that hospital. "Yes" I answered. He looked at Ethan and then at me. He nodded and excused himself. I still cannot remember him that well. We and Ethan talked for long hours and I slowly remember him. I feel his presence comfortable. We laughed till midnight and then the dance floor was slowly getting empty. Ethan got up and said, "Melissa, want to dance with me?". He seemed a little nervous but I nodded my head slowly and went for it. We dance peacefully, I could feel sparks between us and it seemed a feeling that I had experienced before but I am unable to recall it. We danced for a long time and at the last beat, we came closer , his breathe was touching mine and it seemed a different world, I had no pain , no regrets. Our foreheads touched and Ethan said, "Melissa". "Yes" I said. "Will you ever regret this moment?" He exclaimed. I was just going to answer when I saw that man , Aron staring at us. He smiled and that hurt me deep. I looked at him walking away , my heart wanted to stop him but I was held by Ethan, whom I was falling for. I looked at Ethan , he was hoping for an answer so I shook my head. He smiled and we detached each other knowing that things should go slow. The spark had somewhat disappeared from my face and Ethan noticed it. "You must be tired , let''s call it a night" He said. I nod and bade him goodbye. My cab was waiting outside and within no time I found myself in my bedroom , staring at the picture of Fritz and me. I stare at the frame for a while but my attention is caught by a message left unseen on my phone , it was from Aron.''Congrats for a new life , stay happy , Melissa>>''


    I left it unanswered .I feel confused about my feelings when I look at Aron. Who is he ? why can''t I remember him? I have some mixed feelings in my mind that are so faded to even see. Aron ! Why does this name disturbs me like hell?!


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Caf茅 shop

    I drove to my caf¨¦ this morning and setting stuffs here. It''s so much quiet here. Ethan wanted to accompany me but I want some alone time here. This is my place to start. I am remembering things little by little.


    I knew Aron from long ago but those scenes are not clear. I just remember hugging him the last instance before my accident but I don''t know why. I was crying and getting hurt.


    Found some clothes of Fritz which are heart-breaking . I loved him but he died in that plane crash. We were returning from Tokyo were we planned to stay. But it''s fate that returned me to UK.


    I had brought the coffee machines so I made a cup for myself. The workers are working hard to make the book shelves. I am excited for it as my dream is coming too. I will also join my office after settling things here. I am inspired by Ethan and that is why I want to continue my passion along with my responsibilities.


    The message of Aron is still unanswered so I look at it for a long time. Why does he cares if I am happy or not? Who is he? My attention was caught by a car parked outside my shop. I went to inspect it and the door opened revealing Ethan''s face smiling at me. I smiled in excitement and rushed to hug him. "Missed me?" He said grinning at me. "No! it''s just that I was bored!" I lied. He laughed and we came inside. "It''s all coming together Melissa" He said looking at the shop in aw. I nod , "It indeed is but thanks to you" I said. "Me?! , why?" He looked confused. I smiled and kept the answer to myself. He understands . Ethan is good but I remember Fritz , he will always find the answer.


    Ethan moreover is quiet , dedicated and sweet. He is little hard to study and gives time to everything. We decide some colours of the shop and had cups of coffee. He was attentive when I was expressing my views and that stare made me blush. He understood it and smiled to himself. Am I Falling In Love?! Fuck No.


    We went for lunch in a small vegetarian shop and that''s when I discovered that he also loves the fruit salad as much I do. Fritz preferred meat more and I loved veg. It was a good noon to be together and I had to cancel my cab as he would be driving me. I was excited and luckily , the work had ended earlier today. We hopped in to the car , I on the front seat and saw a gift wrapped there. I twitched my eyebrows closer at the gift and Ethan said, "Go on , it''s for you , a surprise". A surprise for me? Oh my god , that''s so so sweet. I opened it and saw two reserved seats at Thai Tonic for dinner. Thai Tonic , the first ever meet with Fritz. I stared at it for a long time . The car was on it''s way and suddenly Ethan snapped his fingers across me , "What happened ?". I looked at him and realized that I haven''t told him about Fritz. That is not good. "Ethan?" I said. "Yes!" He said. The wind was taking his brown hair up from his face and danced in the air. "There is something I want you to know" I said , my voice seemed nervous. "You can talk about anything to me , I won''t judge you or something , right?" He smiled at me. His eyes sparkled like he is going to admire me the same. "Ethan , I had a fianc¨¦ named Fritz. He first confessed to me in Thai Tonic only . We had decided to get married but unfortunately he died in the plane crash" My voice breaking but he was motioning his head for me to continue. His jaw boned looked hard like he is trying to digest everything, "He died , and it''s about to an year of it. I went to the club that night for the first time so that I could get my mind off. When we got close there , I felt guilty and backed off. I am sorry." I tell him. I don''t want to tell about my accident now but I fell in love with him again in this life. He nod. But then he spoke up , "Melissa?" he stopped. I looked at him and then he said , "nevermind, sorry". I nodded and we were quiet for a long time.  He looked at me and proceeded, "Melissa, you have been through a lot , I knew the day when I first saw you when you wanted to colour your hair , that''s sometimes a sign of a new start." He confessed. "I promise to be at your side always , I don''t want to leave you Melissa" , His voice was comforting as though he will stick with his words. "Thank you , Ethan", I said. We both smiled and off we go to our destination.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    He held my hand and the only thing I thought was that , I Fell In Love , Again. The thing I was most afraid of , defeated me . Love is so unexpected. I don''t want to hurt myself but it''s such a strange feeling that holds us in chains. We pretend to forget it but never get over it. The person we love , never gets off our mind. I am giving myself a second chance , a chance to recover from every painful event. I Fell For Ethan and defeated myself but still I am happy, happy to see myself love again.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 THE LAST AUTUMN

    Thai Tonic got cancelled as I felt uncomfortable to go back there and Ethan supported me .The spring went away and cold winds are now coming. Autumn is coming . Autumn , the season of fallen love. Today , I and Ethan decided to go for a walk in the park this evening. The park is built new and it looks good as Ethan said. Today , I am setting everything in my apartment as it looks a little untidy. I kept the old stuffs in the guest room , some clothes and pictures are still with me. Mine and Fritz photo is still on the bedroom wall, I will not remove it now until and unless I fully move on. I miss Fritz , and I am missing more when I recall all those moments with him.


    I organise my books of physics in living room shelf and organise my clothes properly in my wardrobe. I had bought some lights and I want to put it in the living room . It''s a lot of work as I love decorating. I put on some new sheets and covers and apply room freshener to the rooms. It came out so good but I was covered in dust. I laughed at myself and went for shower.


    It''s around 4:15 in the evening that I am rushing towards the park. He told that he would be there by 4:30 pm. I reached first and there was more 7 minutes left. I wandered around the park and saw many kids playing around the swings , some were with their mothers , they were laughing and giggling. I smiled at their innocent smiles. I once had that , moreover everyone once had that but time changed as well as people.


    I went towards the lake side as still there was time and stepped on the small crossover bridge. Somebody went passed me and my feet stopped. I turned around quickly and my mouth spoke up , "Excuse me , mister" . I was having a feeling that I know him, I have known him for a long while. He turned around and I was shocked to see that it was that man , Aron. He didn''t give any expression as though he wanted to ignore me , "Yes?", he said. I stare at him for a long time like I want to ask him about our past friendship. "Aron , why did you came to the hospital that day , who are you and why I feel the pain..." I stopped before completing. "You were my friend and I helped you that''s all." He ignored and didn''t want the conversation to go any deep. He proceeded to the end of the bridge when I again said , "Who are you?" . Aron looked at me without turning and said , "Melissa, it''s better to forget all the pain, you wished to start everything new and you got it. Now go and live your life, forget the past , it is meant to be forgotten." He paused for a while then turned to me , "Melissa , I am always for you , even you''ve got..." His sentence was cut by a panting voice behind me , "Melissa! I was searching you everywhere." It was Ethan . "Sorry" I told him, he was standing by my side and his eyes went to Aron. He eyed me asking who he was. Aron smiled and turned to his way.


    Suddenly my head struck to those memories of him , slowly remembering and when my mouth spoke up , "Aron Edward" I was loud enough so that he could hear me. He stopped for the third time by my voice but neither he turned nor he moved. He slowly nodded in his direction and I could feel a faint smile across his jaw. It''s Aron Edward , the guy for whom I fell , for whom I lost myself , for whom I ....


    Ethan was confused but he didn''t ask. He wrapped one of his arm around my shoulder and we giggled . We went for a walk in between those fallen dry leaves from the tress , cold winds were blowing , it''s an indication for a new start and yes , it''s the season of Autumn. I met Aron in this season after decades, and today , we separated into our own lives. This is Autumn , the season of FALL.


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    ARON''S POV-


    It was in the school that I met Melissa. She was charming , jolly and seemed out of my league. I used to watch her and smile. Mary was my best friend for 2 years and I had a relationship with her. I was loyal to her and loved her. The first time that Melissa expressed her feelings towards me , I was shocked , I was happy but I was already with Mary. Moreover I believed that Melissa deserved better. I still think so. Her kindness , her charming nature is meant to be cherished by someone better than me.


    I hurt her that day but never stopped looking for her after she left. I focused on studies because I wanted to prove myself that I can be capable of taking care of Melissa. I studied hard , day and night and that resulted in distance between me and Mary. Mary thought that I changed and went for Erick , a handsome guy who was better than me according to her. But I didn''t loose hope , I was determined to get Melissa one day.


    It was after my masters that I found out that she is in UK and is an astrophysicist. I was amazed and applied there . Luckily as my experience was good , I was appointed as the project head. I collected information about her and asked about her to her colleagues. I came to know about her suicide attempts . That''s the moment I decided that she needs me but I thought that she might have forgotten about me but she recognised me at once.


    Fritz was there with her so I stepped off at first but after he died , I was disheartened to see Melissa like that. I felt sorry for her and so I wanted her to start new. I supported every decision of hers as I was the one, who lost her. I feel guilty till this date.


    The day of the accident , she confessed everything , she was afraid to fall in love specially for me as I had given her a traumatic past. She hugged me and I too hugged her tight but suddenly he ran away and was hit.


    I was so worried as the doctor told me that she was in a critical condition. She had damaged one of her kidneys . I was worried about her and thought that this would be a nice way of giving her my love. And I did , she has one of my kidneys but when she woke up , she couldn''t recognise me , not even once as she lost her memory. I was disheartened. I requested his parents to not tell about the kidney transplantation. I expected that she will recognise me after a while. But the fate changed , she found someone , someone more loving according to her. She couldn''t remember me , not even once.


    Today , I saw her in the park , I wanted to ignore her as I thought that she would again feel pain but she recognized me , my sentence was cut by her boyfriend I guess . I wanted to tell her about the kidney transplantation. But then I refused as she seemed happy. When she finally said my full name , I smiled , at least she remembers something but I didn''t turn around. It was my way of letting her know that I wasn''t a part of her life anymore. She went with Ethan and I turned towards her to see her giggling and laughing with him , his hand was around her shoulder , I was happy for her. At least , I gave her life to live .


    It was the season of Autumn when I first met Melissa after decades and then today I let her go and off she went to live her life, I still love her , still care for her but this ends here , it''s The Last Autumn, the season for fallen hopes.


    **-------------THE END----------**