《I Escaped My Dragon Overlord and Decided to Open Up a Coffee Shop》


 The End of the Beginning

    I was tired of killing for dragons.


    Now I know that¡¯s quite a thing to say all of a sudden, but it was true. Money, vengeance, money, vengeance- it was always the same, and it had been for the 60 (70?) -ish years since I died. I don¡¯t quite recall the last few days before my death, but I do remember staring down the headlights of Truck-kun before meeting my untimely end. Actually, I suppose it was timely, as I was the lucky guy to get sucked out of the abyss and into a dragon¡¯s lair, sitting in what I would eventually learn was a very fancy summoning circle.


    In the years since I was trained up and made to be some kind of Vengeance On Demand? for an ancient dragon with a thing for silver. I had always been a pretty big fan of those isekai shows and stories, though those guys usually get something a bit nicer than a slave collar as an arrival gift.


    The collar was nice, though, VERY nice, in fact; so much so that it would be quite difficult to get off. The magical instrument that served as a lovely chain on my free will was top of the line, and not even that one king I blackmailed had anything that could get it off.


    That, of course, was what brought me to this very nice holy institution, not a pyramid, but a ziggurat I believe? Either way, it was the property of a very powerful deity, one who hopefully had the strength and the gall to pull the plug on an elder dragon¡¯s favorite toy.


    Now, normally, I was quite the stealthy guy. Despite my class of hero, (inherent with being summoned to this world) my unwilling line of work involved what I honestly can¡¯t dress up as anything better than assassination, and thus my [STEALTH], and its¡¯ partner [SILENCE] had reached their max level. Having those at their apex even allowed me to unlock [SHADOW STEPS]. While it was only level two, it meant that if I didn¡¯t want someone to see me, just about nobody would. Yes, I was quite stealthy indeed.


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    Today, however, I openly just walked in the front door.


    This alone was quite hilarious, as at the mere sight of me, the more traveled among the clergy who knew my description put on a performance. One or two were visibly stifling their panic as I walked between the pews, a good handful quickly found an end to their activities and made for one of the doors lining the hall, and two of the three at the dias who knew who I was argued as quickly and quietly as one could as to who would speak to me. By the time I had cleared the lines of pews, they seemed to come to their decision, the more senior of the two (and judging by his garment the one of higher station) putting on a brave face and getting ready to face me.


    I reached the foot of the platform and spoke up to him, ¡°Good morning!¡± I said in the most cheerful tone I could manage. ¡°Ah, y-yes¡­ good morning to yourself as well, sir. I-I apologize, but w- we um¡­ don¡¯t have anyone currently in the temple of a rank prestigious enough to greet you.¡±


    Well obviously. I wasn¡¯t about to walk in here while the Temple Magistrate and Holy Voice were present. I may be a pretty heavy hitter for this world, but fighting even one of them would be a dubious prospect on my best day, to say nothing of both on their home turf. ¡°That¡¯s just fine,¡± I started. ¡°You will suffice for the purpose of my visit today.¡± ¡°Of-of course, then. What brings you to the holy grounds of Vita, then?¡± ¡°Well, I was actually hoping to have a chat with her today.¡± The priest¡¯s eyes bugged. ¡°With h- you mean with our grace?¡± ¡°Yup, That would be the one.¡± I waited rather politely as the holy man got over his shock. ¡°I see¡­ I¡¯m sorry but nobody here can help you with that. It is quite a rare gift you see, and for the select few who possess it, they can only use it once a year. We- we cannot help you.¡± What a load of crap.


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll get down to it. I¡¯ve been trying to hold this chat for quite a bit now, Simon Volsco, and I am quite aware that it is rare to grant such a thing, which is why I know that you are one of those special few who can. I am also aware that you were put in charge while your leaders went to save the country from an army of demons. I also know you last used this ability of yours about five seasons ago, meaning you should have it right now.¡±


    As I spoke, I walked slowly and calmly around to the stairs up the platform, and towards the priest, who seemed frozen in fear. I got within a breaths distance from him, (Thank goodness priests in this world had good hygiene) and whispered so only he could hear: ¡°I think that this favor is the least you could do to prevent the deaths of everyone in this temple, to include those who thought they could sneak out of here unnoticed. Tick tock, your goddess is watching.¡±


    I had been casing this place for nearly two years now, and this breakout war was too perfect an opportunity to pass up.


    After a minute of his two trembling eyes staring into my remaining one, he crumbled. ¡°Will you leave after? W-Without hurting anyone?¡± ¡°So I swear¡±, I said. And with that, plus a bit more hesitation, with a trembling hand he reached and with a now glowing index finger touched my forehead.

 I forget how negotiating works (at the worst moment)

    I found myself in a rainforest. To be more specific, a clearing in a rainforest. The woods teemed with life, and the clearing was full of flowers that were nearly indescribable with how vibrant and wild some of them were. In the center of the clearing, a glass patio table with two chairs stood. One of those chairs was occupied. I began to approach the table, assessing the seated woman as I did. She was tall, maybe a hair or two over six feet. She had skin the color of dark chocolate, and hair that seemed so white and fluffy it could be made of clouds. It flowed out in a mane down her back, which was left open by her green sleeveless dress.


    As I got closer, I realized several things: Her dress was actually made out of some kind of soft green moss, the ¡®patio table and chairs¡¯ were made from still planted flowers with translucent leaves, and her hair actually was made of clouds.


    Suppose it¡¯s fitting, though. Vita was the goddess of life, after all.


    Finally approaching the table, I asked ¡°May I be seated, ma¡¯am?¡±. She looked at me with dark, ocean-blue eyes and after seemingly considering for a moment, responded in a voice softer than snow. ¡°You may.¡± I seated myself, but still feeling that it was still ¡®her turn¡¯, waited. After a moment of regarding me, she said ¡°You went through a lot of trouble to speak to me.¡± ¡°I did.¡± ¡°Why.¡± A demand, not a question. Of course, this was certainly an answer I owed her. ¡°I want to know if you can get this off of me.¡±


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    That said, I pulled off the cherry red scarf that had covered my mouth and neck for most of my years here. ¡°Hmm. Closer.¡± I leaned in so that she had a better look at my adornment. ¡°My. She must have spent a fortune between getting you here and obtaining a collar of this quality.¡± I went back to my original position as I responded ¡°From what I¡¯ve gathered, she spent half her hoard and called in favors from all sorts: demons, fae, even other dragons. It¡¯s¡­ why I came to you. I figured only a major god with a lot of authority would have the means to remove it.¡±


    A moment of silence, and then- ¡°And if I did? What could you offer? What trade could you make? What deal could you afford that would be worth an act of this magnitude?¡± I lowered my head, and a long silence passed. Finally, I looked up, and said ¡°I would do anything you asked. Truly anything. I just want a hand in penning my own story again. I don¡¯t want to be stuck ending hundreds more lives. I just want to live one. I would do anything.¡± Once more my head dropped, realizing my greatest chance at freedom had likely fallen through my fingers.


    I began numbly going through my next options in my head, each seeming more grim and less likely to succeed than the last.


    Eventually, Vita spoke. ¡°I suppose you¡¯ll owe me one then.¡± Shocked, my head snapped up, and before me on the table sat the gilded loop that held dominion over me. Or¡­ used to, rather. Meeting Vita¡¯s bemused expression, I acknowledged, ¡°I suppose I¡¯ll owe you one then.¡±


    And I awoke.

 My Boss Didnt Appreciate That I Quit

    When my eyes opened, I saw the mosaiced ceiling of the temple. I had likely fallen down after being¡­ connected? Whatever, the terminology of talking to gods wasn¡¯t likely to be a continuous issue, so rather than lingering on it, I just sat up instead. Simon stood nervously nearby. ¡°How long was I out?¡± I asked. ¡°Well, about three hours, I believe. Uh oh. I reached up to my neck, confirming that under the fabric of my scarf my sore neck was now freed.


    While that was in fact the goal of this visit, I now had a problem. I had been hoping that it was one of those ¡°The conversation was an hour, but in reality was only seconds!¡± tropes. The fact that it was the opposite was bad¡­ very bad. Depending on when the collar actually came off, the distance from here to the cave, flight speed¡­ let¡¯s see, multiply by rage, carry the one- ¡°ANIMUUUUUUUUSSS!¡± Came an impossibly loud roar from outside. I was right- this was VERY bad.


    ¡°Gotta run!¡± I declared before activating my Boots of Swiftness and running full sprint towards the back of the temple where I knew from casing the place an underground exit existed. Just as I exited the main chamber the ceiling exploded into colorful tiles and dust as an ancient green dragon smashed into the holy building. ¡°RETURN TO ME NOW!¡± boomed my former employer.


    While I was sympathetic to getting crushed by a ton of brick, I also worked very hard to secure this freedom, and now was my chance. With [AGILITY], [ENDURANCE], [STAMINA], and [SPEED] all at lvl. MAX, I ran like there was actually a tomorrow, only using [PERCEPTION]¡¯s [DARKSIGHT] to navigate through the musty tunnels.


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    I poured on the speed, fear and exhilaration coursing through my veins. The fear was obvious- a massive glittering green reptile who wanted to melt me with boiling acid- but the exhilaration came from the fact that when she told me to turn around, my boots firmly continued to point towards my freedom. This was it. My free will was now my free will again.


    I rocketed through the tunnel at breakneck speeds, not ever looking back. After a full two hours of twists and turns, I reached a trapdoor at the end of the stone tunnel.


    I had two options, one being waiting here. There was a risk in opening the trapdoor only to find out I wasn¡¯t as far from town as I had hoped, and the exit being spotted from above, reducing my chance of escape. Waiting a day or two for her to clear off could raise my chance of evasion. With certain traits I possessed, food was a non-issue for a few days. The problem in this plan was whether the old lizard would practice ¡®diplomacy¡¯ and get the location from the exit out of a priest or guard, or just send one down the tunnel.


    My other option was to break for it right now, and get as much distance as possible from wherever it opened up to, in order to get out of an effective search range. Dragon or no, searching the whole world simply wasn¡¯t an option without shattering treaties and pacts, which would stir up all sorts of trouble for her.


    I would need to do that eventually anyway, but for now, I had decided. I would go with¡­ option three. I kicked the trapdoor open, and got a grasp of my surroundings. I was in a thicket of trees that perfectly surrounded the trapdoor, and just outside the cluster of foliage was a road. A quick look around told me I was about 40 miles north northwest of the (once) lovely city I had just left (in the talons of an angry dragon).

 The World of Gehenna

    After my quick peek, I ducked back into the tunnel to employ my brilliant strategy number three. My plan? Hide in the darkest corner of the cave that I could, and activate [SHADOW STEPS] to become nearly undetectable. Its effectiveness was greatly boosted while still and further when in darkness. With both, I would be near invisible to anyone without an absurdly good [PERCEPTION] trait.


    Traits were something all beings in the world of Gehenna possessed. The basic nine that everyone started with were [STRENGTH], [CONSTITUTION], [FORTITUDE], [AGILITY], [DEXTERITY], [RECOVERY], [PERCEPTION], [INTELECT], and [ARCANE]. These were the tier zero traits, and like all traits that come after, could be empowered through leveling, up to ten.


    The higher the tier of a trait, the more effective it was. Traits were unlocked and leveled through intensive use, such as running often eventually giving traits like [SWIFTNESS] and [ENDURANCE], as well as leveling them. So with just [AGILITY] 1, you might have a steady running pace of 6 miles like any average human from Earth. Factor in [AGILITY] 10 and [SWIFTNESS] 10, and a casual jogging pace might be a breezy 20 miles per hour.


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    After being plucked from whatever comfy spot I would have had six feet under, I worked in the field of murder for so long that most of my skills were far above the average man, or even knight. All of my basic skills were level ten except for arcane which was still level one (I don¡¯t want to talk about it). Adding to that, I had most of the tier one skills, most of even those being at their maximum.


    Amongst my repertoire, I had a good few tier-twos, and even three tier-three traits.


    [SHADOW STEPS] was a tier three trait, and had made my job significantly easier. On multiple occasions, I simply waited in a target¡¯s room, and once they had gone to bed, promptly slashed their neck and stabbed their heart. Easy peasy. I did have to sneak an ax into a into a target¡¯s bedchamber once because he had the [IRON SKIN] trait and a knife wasn¡¯t going to cut it (*badum tish*).


    Having decided on a sufficient corner, I fitted myself to the wall as best as I could and began my wait. It turned out that I didn¡¯t have long to wait though, as twenty minutes later, someone ran into the exiting section of the passage. She appeared to be an emerald-colored dragonborn, wearing almost mirror-like silver platemail, and she seemed in a foul mood. It dawned on me a moment later: She could polymorph- and had, as well. I wasn¡¯t certain how long she had been able to do that, but I did know that if she saw me I was dead.


    Invidia, the Viridescent Envy of the East, was not someone you crossed and lived to tell about it.

 The Four Corners of the World

    Time itself seemed to crawl, as she came to a stop under the trapdoor. I had begun to hold my breath and slow my heart rate as much as I could. I was no pro at it, but now I needed every advantage if I wanted to live, so no time like the present, right?


    After a skin crawling eternity, she spoke. ¡°Animusss.¡± I no longer needed to slow my heart rate because with that one word alone it might as well have just stopped. Was this where I died? And then- ¡°Where will you have gone¡­ The North? Matridock and Paslois lie in that direction¡­ The South only has Yessine, the miserable pile of sand. The West then? Unless he has passage across the ocean. Damn it all! Does that disgrace have any idea how much the binding band and him cost me?! The things I will do to him once I have him in my talons again¡­¡±


    With that, she leapt from the tunnel into the thicket, and though I couldn¡¯t see her from my angle, I heard the trees surrounding the exit splinter into countless pieces as she shifted back to her true form. The rush of wind howling through the tunnel was deafening as she took flight with a push from her massive wingspan.


    All said and done, I ended up waiting four days instead of the planned three, never moving, absolutely terrified of getting caught. Twice a city guard came through, inspecting the tunnel, eyes passing over me without ever slowing. Finally, I decided to move. Now was the right time. (it was definitely not because I was hungry, that would be ridiculous) I nimbly hopped the distance out of the hole that once held a trapdoor, and began to jog.


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    Avoiding the road was a given, and as I slowly picked up speed, I reached into one of the four bags of holding I had strapped to me (The one on the right side of my waist) and pulled out an apple, which I began to munch on as my trek began. I would need to run almost constantly if I wanted to reach my destination before winter. If I can manage a steady pace of about 30 miles an hour, and limit myself to six hours for eating and sleeping¡­ Maybe add another few days to mix up my trail¡­ I should get there in about 20 days? That should leave maybe a week before the first snow. It¡¯ll have to do.


    My destination was my smartest choice, though one could go out on a limb and say it was one of the worst choices I could make at the moment. I was going to live near a dragon lair.


    Now before you think ¡°Does this guy have brain damage or something?¡±, even though you probably already have, there is a reason. The dragon in question was none other than Invidia¡¯s twin brother, Livor, Green Jealousy of the West. From my decades of subordination, I knew Invidia hated nothing more than her brother, and more than one of my targets had been his lackeys. From what I had gathered through gossip and hearsay was that they longed to go at each other''s throats, but some mythical strike force was waiting for them to leave their lairs and weaken each other so they could eradicate two ancient dragons in one fell swoop.


    All that being said, my target was a coastal town in the northwest, deep in Livor¡¯s territory. Which one I wasn¡¯t yet sure, I just wanted to find a quiet village or town to live in. Because really, that was all I wanted now. A quiet life, where I could pick up a craft and have peace. Maybe find someone to settle down with, have a family, even.


    My goals in mind, I began my run in earnest.

 My Cross Country Club Finally Becomes Useful

    And run I did, for weeks. A few times I saw cities and towns, but I never drew close, just skating around them while keeping them in view. I avoided roads, people, and even the best travel hours, beginning my run at dusk and running until the late morning. Always, my run began by sprinting into the setting sun; it was rather calming to behold each evening. Sometimes I would nearly cross paths with a monster or some stranger, but I simply used [SHADOW STEPS] and let no one halt my journey. Two and a half weeks into my journey, I smelled salt in the air and finally broke through the tree line to see the ocean.


    I breathed deeply, inhaling the pungent ocean air, and memories of home drifted through my mind. Biking past rows of skyscrapers, sea spray flying as my brother and I yelled to push the boat faster, diving for scallops in clear, warm shallows. A single tear fell down my cheek, but even as it did, I was taking a deep breath, and resolving to build a life I would love here, in a world where I could finally be myself. Well, at least that¡¯s the theory. I kind of needed to find a town first in order to get started. I shook myself out, and kept going.


    Off I went, tracing the coast looking for settlements. It was two days before I found one, and it was a large castle city. Judging from the size of the buildings, the castle, and the dense population, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it was the capital of whatever nation I was currently in. This was decidedly not the type of quiet village life I was looking for. Further I went, and it was another four days before I was greeted by signs of civilization. This time, however, I had struck gold.


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    Rising up from the forest, a large stone hill stood against the shore, and on its mostly flat top sat a quaint little town, beginning to bustle with life at the call of the sunrise. A set of wide stone steps wound down the side of the hill¡¯s cliff that faced the ocean. Already by the dock, a few sleepy crews of fishermen were rigging their boats for a day on the water. Not far from this shore sat an island with a near identical cliff face, making a channel between the two. All said it was both a scenic and highly functional place to build a town, and it was looking more and more like the place for me.


    It wouldn¡¯t be long before I neared the stairs to the town proper, but before ascending them, I took off my bags and coat and put them back on in the opposite order, so that my bags of holding were hidden beneath the dull brown duster. It wouldn¡¯t do to have a valuable magic item on full display, much less four of them. Additionally, after a little rummaging, I procured some brown hair dye and my small case of color contacts. My one remaining eye was a color that could only be described as ¡°Violently blue¡±, akin to window washing fluid, even, and I had needed to find a way to cover up that striking characteristic.


    The same went for my newly silver hair, which would have been fine if I had aged a damn day since being summoned, but in the 70 years or so that had passed, I still looked questionably at drinking age. If I had to hedge my best guess, after being summoned at 20, I had only physically aged to maybe 22. This was most likely from my class of hero since I didn¡¯t possess any high-level recovery traits (Which are the ones that primarily prevent aging) until about 5 or so years into my¡­ job. Let¡¯s go with job.


    My disguise, or rather new identity finished, I started off again, walking this time and suppressing my stealth skills. Finally, I reached the bottom of the stairs and began the ascent to my new life.