《Only Yandere around Me》


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 Chapter 1. Strange feeling

    I am paralyzed.


    The body refuses to listen.


    Even heart seemed to stop.


    This scene...


    I don''t know why, but I find it aesthetic.


    How do I feel looking at all this?


    Fear? Bitterness? Anger? Or is it...


    Could it be... That I''m fascinated...?


    I have to think about it carefully.


    But my thoughts are stopped.


    Consciousness flows away somewhere into the distance.


    I''m... falling asleep...


    ...


    ...


    ......


    ........


    <hr>


    Part 1


    <hr>


    [17.09.12.9]


    The first thing I feel when I wake up is cold.


    Cold...


    Very cold...


    Strange.


    Breath in. Then exhale.


    When I finally come to my senses, I realize. My bed is soaked with sweat. Through and through. Even wringalable.


    Thirst arose. I lost too much fluid last night.


    When I think about it, my whole body cramps. Especially in the abdominal area.


    I''m throwing up.


    Thrice.


    Fortunately, there was nothing inside that could come out.


    I just lay on the floor convulsing for a while.


    It makes me feel a little better after that.


    I open the window to air out the room and leave.


    Maybe this kind of waking up doesn''t seem like something normal for a healthy young person, but it''s become commonplace for me lately.


    It all started a few months ago, I think.


    I started having nightmares from time to time.


    I often woke up in the middle of the night. But nothing else.


    A week later, the frequency of bad dreams increased. I''ve already seen them every day.


    It flowed into insomnia.


    I had to buy sleeping pills.


    ...It didn''t help.


    I think lack of sleep was the root cause of my current situation.


    Everything started to fall apart.


    Now, as soon as I close my eyes, the same scene comes to mind. For some reason, it causes a throbbing pain in my head.


    I stopped eating. Any food just came back out.


    I was making cocktails instead. Anything that could put me on my feet after a month of fasting was used. Coffee, energy drinks, lemon juice, vitamins in tablets and other rubbish. I even managed to add liquid protein there.


    The first time, I had to sit on the toilet for hours.


    Now I fill it with a third kilogram of sugar.


    With this ratio, it''s even delicious. Although it still periodically refuses to be absorbed. But that''s not important.


    The main thing is that these cocktails really gives the desired effect. I couldn''t wish for more.


    When a person is in such a state, rest is necessary, and bed rest is even more desirable.


    ¡ª It will only make it worse...


    That''s why I''m going to school. There is no other options.


    Another glass of cocktail gives me the necessary energy I need.


    At least I don''t wobble when moving, and I no longer resemble a half-corpse. Although...


    My hands are still shaking.


    ¡ª ...


    Putting on the first thing that came to hand, I went out.


    Looks like it''s too early.


    I glanced at my wristwatch.


    4:37


    I''ve been awake for hours, but didn''t even notice such a banal thing.


    My alertness is at an all-time low. As well as mental abilities.


    (No wonder.)


    I live in the suburbs when my school is near the center.


    What was I thinking when I chose a school...?


    Of course not with my head.


    It''s unpleasant to realize this, but... facts are facts.


    If you look at it from a different angle... This distance is enough to kill all the time that I got because of the downed mode.


    Ten kilometers. Two hours is enough. If I don''t fall off on the way.


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    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    It''s just too much for me.


    I''ve already exhausted my strength on the second one.


    I just lose consciousness.


    ...


    .....


    .......


    Second awakening of the day.


    I find myself lying on a street bench.


    ¡ª Eh...?


    It''s not a street bench. I''m already in the schoolyard.


    Wait...


    There was no way I could be here.


    I''ve only walked a kilometer or two. Not even halfway.


    And now suddenly I find myself right in front of the school entrance.


    ¡ª ...


    (Did someone bring me here? And just left without reminding?)


    I would never believe that someone would drag a man on his hump to the other end of the city.


    It would be much more reasonable to call an ambulance or drag me to the hospital.


    No... most likely I was brought by car. It sounds more plausible. Yes. Much more plausible.


    I sigh with relief.


    Wait... I''m thinking about wrong stuff at all...


    It doesn''t matter if it''s a car or not... Why didn''t anyone declare themselves?


    The anxiety that has gripped me gradually turns into tension.


    (What the hell?)


    After looking around as carefully as I can, I couldn''t find a single person.


    That... those who dragged me here are not here.


    They just dragged and left.


    How did they even know I needed to come here? ...Do these people know me?


    Someone I know?


    ¡ª ...


    If so, then it''s even more strange.


    (Maybe I just overextended myself? Went all the way on autopilot, and then fell of here...)


    It sounds too far-fetched.


    No matter how hard I tried, I could not come up with a clear answer to any of the questions.


    In the end, all I achieved was paranoia.


    I looked at my watch.


    5:59


    I was delivered in an hour maximum. I don''t know how long I''ve been lying here.


    So it really is a car...


    For some reason, it makes me feel better.


    Anyway, I''m in school now. And it looks like there''s no one else here but me.


    There is still time before lessons start.


    And yet I go to class. I don''t feel like doing anything.


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    I spent the rest of the time doing nothing. I didn''t even notice the classroom filling up with people.


    I came to myself only with a bell ring.


    I have to keep myself normal. I don''t give anyone a reason to worry.


    It''s pretty hard.


    But...


    I can handle it.


    Right up to the lunch break, I pretended to be an exemplary student.


    Even though I didn''t write a single word.


    I think if I try, I''ll float away.


    But now it''s lunch time. If I don''t move, I''ll draw attention to myself. Somehow I feel that way.


    I should just walk to the store and back. No need to touch the food.


    Yeah...


    Somehow getting up, I leave the classroom.


    ...


    ...


    ¡ª ¡­


    ...Why do I always feel like someone is watching me?


    I want to believe it''s just paranoia.


    Even if it''s a hallucination. Just a reaction to lack of sleep.


    Everything is fine... isn''t it?


    I m-a-d-e i-t u-p.


    Objection.


    It''s just that my brain refuses to accept it.


    Objection.


    I want to sleep.


    Objection.


    But then I got killed.


    Objection.


    It''s just a bad dream.


    Objection.


    A prophetic dream.


    ¡ª ...


    What kind of nonsense is this?


    What just happened?


    Am I losing my mind?


    It''s as if my brain is sparring with itself.


    My head is splitting.


    The bad thoughts have stopped.


    I''m in a store. That''s partly what saved me.


    Food makes me sick, so I''ll settle for a bottle of water.


    Should I go back?


    (As if I have a choice...)


    ...


    Back in class, I drink half a bottle in one sitting. I''m sweating profusely.


    This water has slightly changed the situation. The body seems to have come out of a critical situation, now I''m terribly sleepy.


    I don''t understand how my body works at all.


    The nightmares won''t stop.


    Right now they come as soon as I close my eyes.


    But...


    I can''t handle this anymore.


    I sleep three hours a week. So far I''ve managed to stay on cocktails, but as soon as the effect passes, I immediately pass out.


    It seems that this is exactly the case.


    Sprawled on the desk in an embrace with water, I fall asleep.


    <hr>


    Part 4


    <hr>


    I wake up in the dark. Look at the watch.


    17:23


    Lessons ended a long time ago. I''m the only one in class.


    No one remembered about me.


    ¡ª No nightmares this time...


    I didn''t dream at all. I slept like a dead man.


    Could this herald the beginning of my recovery?


    I would like to believe.


    I look out the window.


    The sky is overcast.


    Rain. Strong wind.


    The harbinger of a thunderstorm.


    It doesn''t seem logical to go anywhere right now.


    However, I fold up and head for the exit without noticing the absence of one item. I remembered this right before I left.


    When I get back, I search the classroom.


    Unsuccessfully.


    There is no water bottle anywhere.


    Considering that I slept with my head on it...


    There''s no way it could have gotten lost.


    ¡ª Someone steole my water?


    Sounds pretty funny.


    ...Except to me.


    Who would want a half-empty water bottle? It''s perfectly normal. There''s plenty in the cafeteria. No need to steal.


    What had recently been a relatively comfortable state of mind was rapidly deteriorating.


    Calm down. No need to get upset. Everything is fine.


    In the end, having decided that this is not such a big dead, I successfully forget about this incident. Even though I''m still freaking out.


    It''s just much more important to get home now.


    The weather is a bit uncooperative.


    I don''t think having an umbrella here would help.


    Normally I would have been able to run to the station without much trouble, but now... I doubt it.


    While I was thinking, the rain intensified.


    Fears about a thunderstorm were confirmed.


    But in the morning there was not a cloud in the sky...


    The sound of rain mixed with the thunder. The wind howled. A little more and his impulses could have destroyed something.


    It''s like nature itself is synergizing with my mental state.


    It seems funny.


    I''m getting a little jammed up.


    I''ll go on foot.


    There''s a painful urge to be struck by lightning.


    Maybe this will stop these dreams.


    I feel nauseous.


    The head is spinning.


    A lump in the throat grows, as if when modeling a snowman.


    Body is so wadded up...


    There were only five minutes in comfort.


    Now it has returned to its common state.


    ¡ª Damn it...


    Lightning won''t solve anything.


    I need to get home. Make a cocktail, and...


    And...


    ... And what?


    The ideal option was sleep, but not in my case.


    So I really have nothing to do.


    This part is the worst.


    Not only does my physical and mental state leave much to be desired, but I also can''t do anything about it.


    Time heals. I don''t know if they''re telling the truth or not, but...


    It''s my only hope.


    I constantly convinced myself that sooner or later everything would stop, return to normal.


    The time that should heal is surprisingly slow.


    The exception was sleep, but that option is problematic.


    The point is, I don''t even have anything to do.


    Sleep is slowly destroying my psyche, and my physical condition makes it impossible to do anything at all.


    All my free time I am half delirious, half fainting.


    And at the same time I''m bored.


    I just stare at the wall, unable to occupy myself with anything else.


    I am becoming more and more convinced that I am in some kind of hell.


    A hell from which there is no escape.


    ¡ª Death?


    Repeat the fate of dreams?


    Make them come true?


    Sounds good.


    Now I''m having suicidal thoughts.


    Let''s write it down.


    I wonder why I never thought of it before.


    Is my will to live that high?


    I don''t know.


    These stupid thoughts won''t change anything.


    I need to go home.


    Patience. My only weapon. Just wait and everything will be fine. I don''t even need to believe it. I just know.


    Having cleared my mind of extraneous thoughts, I go outside.


    And then I get wet from head to toe.


    Are there any rains of this strength at all?


    Of course.


    There are no people hanging out on the street in this weather.


    Need to get to the station. And quickly.


    It''s not that far.


    ...


    ...


    Nothing happened along the way.


    I successfully reached my destination.


    I had to take off my outer clothes.


    It doesn''t make much sense, since everything got wet.


    But this way, maybe I''ll dry out faster.


    Before I could finish, the train arrived.


    Just in time.


    As I entered the train, I sat down on an empty seat.


    The choice was quite large.


    The train is completely empty.


    Looking around, I notice only one occupied place.


    It''s a woman. Rather, even a girl.


    Was it just me, or did she just look at me?


    As soon as our eyes met, she looked away.


    Yeah, well, I''d be surprised too if a bucket of water suddenly walked onto an empty train.


    In the end, I successfully forget about everything by staring out the window.


    Slowly changing landscapes have a calming effect on the body.


    Gradually, the hurricane state of the nervous system returns to normal. The concentration of adrenaline in the blood decreased.


    The stormy feeling in the body stopped.


    It is replaced by pain. And heat.


    It looks like I have a fever.


    Only this was not enough.


    Running around in the rain wasn''t the best idea.


    Well, that''s my own fault.


    In fact, it gave hope. Hope that at least for the duration of the illness dreams will stop.


    Wow, I''m glad I''m sick. How low can I fall?


    A cold is a cold.


    That''s not what worries me.


    I felt someone''s eyes on me again.


    For several minutes now, someone has been trying to make a hole in me.


    But I''m on the train, and there''s no one here except...


    I turn around.


    No one.


    That girl got out a couple of stops ago.


    The train is completely empty.


    Is this my paranoia again?


    ¡ª Screw it. Let her look.


    My moral strength is at its limit. I feel like a squeezed sponge.


    I don''t even have the energy to think.


    Crawl home.


    The only thought I had enough for.


    Clinging to it, I got off the train and walked on autopilot towards the house.


    I''m definitely not getting out of there for the next few days.

 Chapter 2. Suspect

    Part 1


    <hr>


    [18.09.12.9]


    ¡ª So, what can I tell you... ¨C A man in a white coat passes a small piece of clearly medical handwriting. I can''t make it out.


    ¡ª Get treated. Plenty of water, bed rest. We don''t go to school. In a week for an appointment. If the situation does not change, call. Is everything clear?


    You shouldn''t have expected anything else.


    ¡ª Yes, fine.


    ¡ª Okay, then. I''ll go, and you rest.


    After seeing the doctor to the exit, I returned to my room.


    Last night the temperature reached forty degrees. I did not call an ambulance, limiting myself to antipyretics. The doctor came the next morning. By that time I was feeling better, but I''m still far from full recovery.


    In fact, even if I didn''t get sick, the doctor would still prescribe a sick leave.


    You bet. I''m a fucking walking corpse.


    If he realizes that my physical exhaustion is caused by mental problems, bed rest alone will not be enough.


    I will immediately be registered with a psychiatrist.


    Maybe I should agree to that.


    But I''d rather wait it out.


    By the way, the temperature really turned out to be the best remedy. Even more effective than sleeping pills.


    For the first time this month, I slept a full eight hours. And not a single nightmare.


    If you do not take into account the considerable temperature and weakness, in general, my well-being has improved by an order of magnitude.


    Strangely enough, the lightning really did benefit.


    Today is like some kind of holiday. I''ve already forgotten the last time I had a good night''s sleep.


    ¡ª A cold, huh...


    I''ll take it into service.


    Since I''m feeling better, I should clean up a little.


    In my memory, the house is so cluttered with all sorts of trash for the first time.


    This is entirely my merit.


    In my half-delirious wanderings, I completely forgot about it.


    ¡ª Okay, let''s get started.


    The house is quite large. It may take half a day for a complete cleaning.


    I have enough imaginary purity, without any perversions.


    I''ll do with washing dishes and dusting.


    I can do it in a couple of hours.


    ...


    ...


    .....


    ¡ª Phew...


    I wipe the sweat from my forehead.


    Only the hallway remained. After that, the house can be called brand new.


    Okay, I''m lying. I did everything bluntly.


    But at least the house doesn''t look like a drug den anymore. Just a little... sloppy.


    Still, I''m not the coolest housewife.


    My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the intercom.


    ¡ª Who could it be?


    I definitely wasn''t expecting anyone today.


    There aren''t even any ideas.


    To begin with, let''s look through the door peephole.


    ¡ª Hmm?


    Nobody?


    ¡ª Intercom hooligans?


    There is no desire to open the door.


    Except that curiosity.


    Maybe it''s really something important?


    On the other hand, there''s no one there, is there?


    So it''s not that important.


    ¡ª No, no and no.


    I''ll just open the door.


    Nothing terrible will happen.


    All fears are groundless.


    I''m completely beaten up with these nightmares.


    Just open the door.


    Open the door.


    Open. The door.


    Open.


    The door.


    My hands are shaking.


    Don''t want to.


    It''s all just my paranoia. There is nothing terrible behind this door.


    It''s empty. Or just a sort person.


    Yeah.


    A short person.


    Just open the damn door.


    Somehow overcoming myself, I turn the handle.


    If these are really hooligans, they have definitely achieved their goal.


    I close my eyes, preparing for the worst.


    ...


    ...


    Nothing happens.


    I''m looking around.


    There is no one.


    Unless there is a small gift box in front of the entrance.


    A box?


    Did someone plant drugs?


    (And why is this the first thing that comes to my mind...?)


    Anyway, the fears really turned out to be groundless.


    I decide to pick up the object lying on the ground.


    ¡ª Okay, we should open it.


    She was lying inside... a neat wicker basket with fruits and other goodies. It is braided with a bow, to which a note is attached.


    "Everything will be fine. Get well."


    ¡ª This...


    Such a beautiful handwriting. Like a calligraphic one.


    It would seem that I should be happy. Someone is worried about my health. So?


    Not once at all...


    This text...


    "Get well."


    ...It scares a lot more than the wish to die in agony.


    Does anyone know that I''m sick?


    No one could find out about it.


    I didn''t tell anyone.


    It could have come to this at school, yes.


    But the lessons are not over yet. No one would have physically had time.


    Who else?


    A doctor?


    What''s the reason for him? He just left today.


    And no one else knows about it.


    Not a single person.


    My paranoia.


    Means...


    It''s true?


    All this shit... Really?


    It would be better if it were a lie.


    I don''t want to believe it.


    Don''t want to.


    Who did I surrender to...? Nobody needs me. This can''t be happening.


    But the facts are right in front of you.


    Shut up.


    I can''t do anything about it anyway. I...


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    There it is.


    I''ll barricade myself.


    I won''t be enough for more anyway.


    It sounds like a death agony.


    With a heavy sigh, I fall to the floor.


    Consciously.


    This... despair?


    And I want to live. Even if my head is empty.


    No.


    Let the barricade. I have to do something.


    ...


    ...


    The first thing I do is close all the shutters in the house. Fortunately, they have something like a castle. Sunlight doesn''t help me much anyway, so I''ll get by.


    Then I close the doors. To the maximum that is possible.


    After that I stop.


    Still, a large part of me does not believe in this absurdity. Therefore, we will do without extraordinary things.


    The main thing is that this will limit the stalker''s capabilities.


    The final touch will be the bit. I leave it at the entrance.


    This is the best thing in my arsenal.


    I don''t think I''ll use it for such purposes...


    It''s just calmer that way.


    ¡ª ...


    That''s enough.


    I can only wait.


    Wait and hope for the best.


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    [19.09.12.9]


    Yesterday went surprisingly smoothly. Even if the state of health remain the same, and the nightmares started again, it still could be much worse.


    Thinking that everything would end in one day was stupid.


    Am I in a hurry?


    Not good.


    My resources are being depleted.


    Even that reserve of patience, which I have always been proud of, began to gradually run out.


    In the worst case, I could die. For real.


    I can''t. Need to wait.


    Every few hours I went out on patrol of my own house. I looked into every corner, checked the windows. Of course, I didn''t find anything.


    It''s harder than I thought.


    In my free time I meditated. Keeping your eyes open all the time is very tiring and painful.


    But otherwise the pain will be transferred to my head.


    To survive, you need a clear head. I can''t brag about it now, but at least I can''t make things worse.


    At the same time, I made myself a huge portion of a cocktail. For emergencies.


    The bat is at the entrance. If someone tries to come in, I will immediately find out about it.


    I''m as ready as I possibly can be.


    I don''t think I can handle a stalker so skilled in stealth, but...


    I can''t do nothing.


    My heart is pounding like crazy.


    I''d be lying if I said I was calm.


    To tell the truth, I have never been so tense.


    There was no reason to worry.


    But now...


    I pray that all my suspicions turn out to be groundless.


    Even if it''s a prank, let them laugh. Just please...


    Stop it.


    ...


    No? Fine...


    The prayers did not reach the addressee.


    The doorbell rang.


    ¡ª It''s time to die, right?


    After taking a few deep breaths, I went down to the front door.


    The bat is here. Ready at any moment.


    If you die, then fully armed. I''m ready... or...


    *Ringing*


    Damn stalkers don''t even let you prepare...


    I''m removing the locks.


    One.


    Second.


    Third...


    ...Gradually, one by one, all twenty-six locks disappeared.


    I did it in less than a minute.


    I turn the handle.


    The door opens slowly, with a creak.


    I''m ready to grab the bat at any second.


    My hands are shaking.


    I forgot something from the strain...


    I could just look through the peephole of the door...


    I''m an idiot.


    Although, it''s of no use from this peephole...


    ¡ª Hey, are you okay? ¨C A weighty male voice.


    There were clicks.


    I shudder.


    What''s happened?


    Have I fallen into a trance? At moment like this?


    When I come to myself, I find a strong, plump, gray-haired man.


    He snaps his fingers, a worried look directed at me.


    ¡ª Eh? Sorry, I was thinking... ¨C I''m regaining control of my own body. Now the voice does not tremble.


    ¡ª Are you sure? You look pretty pale.


    ¡ª I''m fine. And you...?


    ¡ª Oh, yes, I forgot. Where is it... ¨C The man is going out.


    Now, when nothing limits my field of vision (you can''t call that person a baby), I notice a car parked right outside the house.


    The off flashing light on the roof speaks for itself.


    After a little time, he returns with a certificate. Presents.


    "Otsuki Shin."


    This is an official certificate of a private detective.


    And now such a person is interested in me.


    To say that I strained means to say nothing.


    ¡ª Is that enough? ¨C The detective asked.


    (Enough for what?)


    ¡ª So, why do you need me? ¨C Uncomprehending tone.


    After all, I really don''t understand.


    Does he know I''m being followed? Or is he following me? Or...


    There are too many options, and you can''t be sure of any of them.


    ¡ª About this... he pulls something out of his bosom again. A photo.


    ¡ª Do you recognize it?


    School uniform, two red ponytails and blue glasses. Intelligent eyes shimmered with shades of light red. I definitely recognize this person.


    ¡ª  Yes. This is my classmate. Did something happen to her?


    Since when are private detectives interested in schoolgirls?


    ¡ª Can I come in? ¨C the tone of the voice suddenly shifts from relaxed to serious.


    What is this sudden offer?


    ¡ª I wouldn''t like to talk about it in the doorway.


    ¡ª Uh... well, that... slightly...


    ¡ª Or are you busy right now? If so, I''m sorry that I burdened you with my visit.


    ¡ª Not... not really...


    I have no reason not to let him in... Why am I hesitating?


    He won''t talk here, so...


    ¡ª ...All right, come on in.


    Still, I don''t have the gift of eloquence.


    I escort him to the kitchen, and then makes some tea.


    It''s fatal to me, so I''ll make do with water.


    ¡ª Thank you. Otsuki bowed slightly, then took a sip.


    ¡ª Pretty tasty. Not bad, boy.


    ¡ª I''m delighted to hear it... ¨C I didn''t let you in for flattery...


    ¡ª And the house is pretty clean... - *sip*


    ¡ª I was cleaning up yesterday...


    ¡ª Hmm? Alone? In such a big house?


    ¡ª Yes.


    Something''s not right here.


    ¡ª And the parents? Really all day at work?


    ¡ª On vacation. They should be back soon. ¨C I have absolutely no idea how to maintain a dialogue with a questions like these. Nothing but dry unambiguous answers comes to mind.


    ¡ª And they didn''t take you with them, then...


    ¡ª I refused. I don''t like that kind of things.


    ¡ª And they left a house of this size for one person?


    ¡ª That''s right.


    ¡ª They seem to trust you a lot.


    ¡ª I know.


    Didn''t he come here to discuss the Class Rep? Why am I hearing so many personal questions instead?


    ¡ª Okay, let''s get down to business. Hidemi Nomura. Your classmate.


    ¡ª Did something happen to her?


    ¡ª Were you close?


    ¡ª Em... not really.


    ¡ª Then we''ll do without ceremony. On the morning of the fifteenth of this month, Hidemi Nomura was found dead in her own house.


    ¡ª ...


    ... Dead?


    ¡ª We assume it''s murder. To be honest, other options are unlikely... Still, when a person is lying in a pool of his own blood, and there are puncture wounds all over his body... I think we don''t have to continue. ¨C After these words, the detective quieted down. He quieted down, as if waiting for my reaction.


    Although this did not prevent him from enjoying the already cooled tea.


    I sat motionless for a while, unable to digest the information.


    The Class Rep is dead. Murdered.


    What kind of nonsense is this?


    It always seemed to me that death was somewhere out there, far away. Me and my entourage are far from it.


    I may have these dreams, but... it''s still not the same. Just my problem. This is not a real death.


    And murder... and so cruel... This is just too much for me.


    Even though we''ve never been close... Let her annoy me with her clinginess... Sometimes even too much.


    I''ve never understood why there''s such a desire to dig me up.


    And she treated the others as usual.


    Only with me she behaved like a bath leaf.


    It was infuriating.


    I''ve always wanted to escape from this thorn.


    But I definitely didn''t want it to end like this...


    And now she''s gone.


    How do I feel when I found out about it?


    Bitterness of loss?


    No.


    Sadness?


    Maybe a little.


    Anger?


    Not a bit.


    Relief was the answer.


    What kind of bastard answer is that?


    Is it really easier for me that my friends are being killed?


    Lousy.


    There was self-loathing.


    ...


    ...


    ... No.


    It doesn''t matter.


    I didn''t want her dead anyway. I would have agreed to all the idiotic suggestions if it had brought her back to life.


    Only now am I beginning to understand...


    The headman wanted to be closer to me.


    I just ignored it.


    However, she also ignored my attempts to distance herself.


    I said something nasty again, didn''t I?


    It''s unusual to think about something ephemeral for so long.


    I have always tried to avoid such topics.


    Such thoughts led only to reflection.


    Like now.


    I already have a fever, and I''m only making it worse.


    Enough of this.


    Now there are much more serious problems.


    ¡ª And you... you suspect... me? ¨C My voice is much quieter than usual. He is bound by fear.


    Otsuki found it all funny and grinned.


    ¡ª What? Of course not, what are you talking about? But...


    ¡ª But?


    ¡ª That''s what I think. After I talked to you, I immediately understood everything. You didn''t kill anybody. Honestly, as soon as I saw you, I immediately removed you from the list. You''re a little weak for this. But...


    ¡ª ...


    Another "but"?


    ¡ª You were not mistaken. Your name is on the list of suspects. After all, the last person Miss Hidemi spoke to was you.


    ¡ª ...


    ... What?


    This can''t be happening... The last time I spoke to her was more than a week ago.


    She couldn''t stay silent all week and not cross paths with anyone...


    Well, in theory, yes, but in practice... Too implausible.


    ¡ª Of course, this is not enough to draw conclusions, but...


    "But" again.


    ¡ª In any case, I think that your name on this list is just a formality for additional versions. Just don''t do anything strange, and suspicions will go away automatically. Unless of course... The detective smiled. ¨C Unless of course it really wasn''t you.


    This gray-haired bastard knows how to escalate the situation.


    ¡ª Well, since I''m here and you''re under suspicion... Where were you at the time of the murder?


    ... Like hell this freak doesn''t think I''m guilty. He put noodles on my ears to make me relax.


    Unfortunately for you, I''m not so easy to take.


    Otsuki got up and started pacing around the room.


    ¡ª I''ve been thinking about it for a long time... Why close the shutters in the house?


    ¡ª It rained recently. Because of him, I came down with a fever, so I didn''t have time to open it.


    ¡ª That''s right. It really was raining.


    ...


    ¡ª There is a bat at the entrance. Decoration?


    ¡ª The bat is incapable of inflicting stab wounds. I''m into baseball.


    ¡ª Hmm? You don''t look like a sports fan.


    ¡ª I''m just a beginner.


    ¡ª That''s how.


    When did our dialogue turn into a fight?


    So far, I have successfully parried his attacks. But who knows what Otsuki has in store?


    ¡ª So. Where were you on the night of the 14th to the 15th, Mr. classmate of Hidemi Nomura?


    His style of speech suddenly changed from informal to formal.


    ¡ª At home. Slept. Like all normal people.


    ¡ª Can anyone confirm this?


    ¡ª No.


    ¡ª That''s how it is!


    ¡ª ...


    I have nothing to say.


    The cop sat back down.


    ¡ª See? You''re very lucky that it was me who came to you, and not some blockhead who wants to close the case as soon as possible, get a bonus and score. So don''t look at me like that.


    ¡ª ...Is the absence of an alibi enough to find a person guilty?


    ¡ª Enough to get under investigation.


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª Of course, until there is irrefutable evidence, nothing will happen to you. But being under investigation is quite stressful, you know.


    ¡ª And I''m not already?


    ¡ª So far only as a possible, if you want, indirect, witness. I''m investigating this case, so you''re a long way from a real suspect. That''s why you lucky, I told you. - Otsuki took another sip from his cup. Is there really anything left there?


    He speaks quite convincingly. Maybe by calling him an asshole I jumped to conclusions?


    I don''t know.


    Now I am not able to process the information adequately.


    The only thing that saves me is that I''m not very sociable in general.


    If I were different, I might have already gone far and for a long time.


    ¡ª Now I''m turning to you as an indirect witness. Of course, I expect cooperation, but I won''t force it.


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª Do you have something to tell? Maybe you saw something? Maybe you''ve heard? Any information, even the most insignificant, will be useful.


    ¡ª Let me think...


    I said it as if I agreed to cooperate.


    In fact, all my thoughts are occupied with other things.


    I still don''t have any confidence that he can be trusted.


    He speaks well, but something cooler is needed against pathological paranoia.


    I toss around for a minute, unable to choose.


    ...


    I...


    ...Cleared my throat and began the story.


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    ¡ª ...That is all.


    ¡ª Thank you for your cooperation. Here you go, here''s my card. If you want to share something else, so that you always know how to contact me.


    ¡ª Yeah...


    It certainly has all the necessary information, but...


    The design is slightly alarming.


    There are some scribbles here. It looks like something like stick men.


    And on the reverse side...


    Inscription.


    "Don''t let me see you ever again nasty Otsuki Shin."


    ¡ª ...


    This... this is...


    (What the hell?)


    I do not understand¡­


    It''s written right where the title should be.


    Some kind of reference?


    ¡ª Is something wrong?


    ¡ª Uh... no. That''s such a beautiful card. I wish I had the same ones when I grow up.


    ¡ª Well, yes, well, yes.  Otsuki smiles softly. ¡ª The granddaughter tried.


    ¡ª T-that''s it...


    Yeah... This old man really is... the old man.


    Now I''m even a little ashamed that I thought badly of him.


    ¡ª By the way, each business card costs 500 yen. Pay up.


    ¡ª I''ll manage! Keep it! ¨C I''m urgently handing the business card back.


    What kind of idiot came up with the idea of paying 500 yen for business cards? It''s just a piece of cardboard, isn''t it?


    ¡ª But I also made a discount in honor of our cooperation... Okay, convinced. Take it for free.


    ¡ª ...


    Make up your mind already...


    ¡ª Damn, and why no one wants to appreciate the creativity of my grandchildren...


    My cheek twitched nervously.


    Some strange manifestation of love, selling business cards with scribbles.


    ¡ª I''ve been sitting too long. Let''s go.


    The detective sighed heavily, then got up and headed for the exit.


    I''m seeing him off.


    Already on the porch, he turned around and bowed slightly. And then he uttered this phrase:


    ¡ª I don''t think the murders will stop. Soon the situation may escalate. Be careful, boy. And try to live longer, okay? Although, whether you believe me or not is up to you.


    ¡ª Of course... thanks for the advice.


    Otsuki''s figure gradually moved away, getting into the car, he turned on the flashing light and drove off.


    After a while, the courtyard was completely empty.


    I was alone on the porch, still digesting what had happened.


    And so the day finally ended. In any case, nothing special happened anymore.


    Talking to Otsuki is definitely exhausting.


    Even a five-minute dialogue with this old man squeezes out as much energy as a few hours with any other.


    Moreover, in everyday life he seems to be a rather sedate person.


    Is it really possible to change so much because of work?


    Although, what am I talking about? The best example of such a phenomenon has just been here.


    My preparation only made things worse.


    Closed shutters and a bat near the entrance... Detectives even cling to this...


    How could you have timed it like that?


    I don''t understand.


    Regarding the case...


    I didn''t tell him anything important.


    Although officially I am now involved in the case, since I agreed to speak, in fact everything is different.


    On the other hand... what I didn''t mention won''t help matters much anyway.


    Arriving here, the detective just wasted his time. Since he gave me his business card, it means that he still hopes that I will tell something more.


    It''s a pity to upset him... But I won''t say anything more. Nothing.


    The parents will be back the day after tomorrow.


    I''m not sure if it will save me, but I know one thing for sure.


    I will feel at least a little, but calmer.


    At least, I hope so.


    One day left.


    I can handle it.


    There is no other way.

 Chapter 3. Despite Death

    Part 1


    <hr>


    [20.09.12.9]


    Last day.


    The parents are due to arrive tomorrow morning.


    I have no absolute guarantees that their arrival will help in any way, but at least they''ll listen to me.


    Our relationship isn''t great.


    But they''re good listeners.


    That''s what makes them different from most people.


    And I''m grateful for that.


    They''ll listen...


    At best, I can convince them to send me away from here.


    Even if such an outcome is unlikely.


    ¡ª ...


    Survive this day?


    And what can I do for this?


    First of all, I''m still not sure if it''s really that bad...


    Maybe it''s just a figment of my paranoia.


    I have no idea.


    I just want to cry with helplessness.


    What am I going to do?


    Scary.


    Fear of the unknown.


    The stalker knows almost everything about me. I know nothing.


    I don''t have any ideas at all.


    ¡ª Damn it...


    I can''t help praying, can I?


    Normally, I would consider this nonsense.


    But now...


    ...


    ...


    Still nothing happens.


    Several hours had gone by while I was guessing and brainstorming in vain.


    And I didn''t even notice it.


    I just shivered and trembled.


    Like cornered cattle awaiting execution.


    So a lot of time passed.


    It was only at night that I came to my senses.


    ¡ª Am I... alive?


    Nothing happened.


    Just a stiff body. As if that mattered.


    Now I can just go to bed...


    Skip the rest of the time.


    Even if I get killed, it''ll happen in in a dream.


    Painless.


    Maybe that''s the best outcome.


    That''s what we''ll do.


    I don''t care about nightmares.


    My patience has run out.


    I just want the next day to come.


    On shaky legs, I get to bed.


    I fall into a deep sleep.


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    [21.09.12.9] ¨C Day X


    The vibrations under my pillow wake me up.


    I check my watch.


    5:24


    The plane will arrive between 7:00 and 7:20


    Not counting various additional processes.


    Getting the luggage, for example.


    My phone seems to be vibrating.


    [New Message]


    Unknown number.


    ...Unknown?


    I don''t like this.


    ¡ª ...


    Anyway, need to read it.


    [Hi, it''s Mom. I accidentally drowned my mobile in the sea and didn''t have time to get it back. I had to get a new one.]


    Next message.


    [Can you come to the airport to meet us? I don''t force, if anything.]


    That''s it.


    Don''t force, hmm?


    Refuse?


    I know exactly what will happen if I refuse.


    I wonder which is worse?


    Death?


    Or refusing this woman''s ''requests''?


    I''ve got to go.


    It''s a long way to the airport.


    Sure, it''s in another town. This town is too small.


    I check the train timetable and blow out another round of cocktails.


    It''s time to go.


    ...


    ....


    It''s getting colder.


    Up until this day, I didn''t really feel it.


    But now...


    The real autumn is starting.


    Or should I say the transition to winter?


    What difference does it make?


    Strong gusts of wind from the north blow through the trees.


    Leaves fall trembling.


    They turn the earth golden.


    Autumn is a beautiful season.


    I could watch all this for hours.


    I really wanted to.


    A pipe dream.


    Fate can be very unfair, isn''t it?


    ¡ª ...


    I got carried away.


    I arrive at the station a few minutes before departure.


    Perfect timing.


    The last few days have been a little too perfect.


    ...


    That''s not good.


    I have a very bad feeling about this.


    It can''t be that easy, can it?


    Or maybe...?


    There are enough people on this train. Just enough to make it seem neither empty nor full.


    Normally I''d prefer it empty.


    But right now I''m happy. There are people here. Not just one or two.


    No one would dare kill me in front of so many people...


    ¡ª ...


    ...I suppose...


    Stop winding yourself up.


    I''d rather enjoy the ride properly.


    Part 3


    An airport.


    The only one in the prefecture.


    The area is mostly mountainous, so it''s strange that they could fit an airport here.


    Although, after all, I drove seventy kilometers away from the city.


    Maybe this area is flatter?


    Anyway...


    An airport.


    There were no problems with the train, I got there successfully.


    I just had to wait for the plane.


    Another half hour.


    Too much free time.


    Too bad it''s being wasted on psychotic ramblings.


    This is not how I wanted to start the new semester.


    Definitely not.


    ¡ª Hmm?


    The phone vibrated again.


    This time it''s...


    [Incoming Call]


    [Mom]


    Maybe he''s calling to find out where I am now?


    ¡ª Hello?


    [¡ª Yes, Akuta? We''re on our way. We''ll stop by the store on the way, do you need anything?]


    ¡ª Eh? Uh, well... weren''t you supposed to arrive a little... later? - I''m confused.


    [¡ª Yes... about this... We decided to fly to Russia, send Shiori to her grandmother. So, we left a week ago, and we went here by ship. Surprisingly, the time is almost identical.]


    ¡ª Yeah... that''s a coincidence...


    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    [¡ª Hmm, Akuta? Did something happen to you? You''re breathing heavily.]


    ¡ª No, nothing... I''m not at home right now, I''ll be there in a few hours. Nothing is needed.


    [¡ª Aha... Is that it? Well, good luck there...] ¨C She never understood such things...


    ¡ª Y-Yeah...


    [Call ended]


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    ...


    ....


    I got it.


    It''s...


    ...Defeat.


    All this time I was dancing to his tune.


    Messages from an unknown number...


    ...Were not from parents.


    They never lost their phone. And they didn''t order a new one.


    Why didn''t I realize this before?


    I... lost.


    I''m an idiot.


    Fucking idiot.


    ¡ª FUCK!


    I''m filled with rage.


    Anger. At my own naivety.


    As soon as I heard the first sentence, I rushed towards the station.


    Now I am very far from the airport.


    There''s not a soul around.


    I could shout a lot.


    But...


    I only had enough for one word.


    The anger was immediately absorbed. Despair.


    Really...


    ...Have I finally lost the will to fight?


    At last...


    A huge weight fell off my shoulders.


    Now I don''t have to worry about anything.


    I won''t make it.


    It''s an hour and a half from here to the house.


    I won''t make it.


    Anything can happen in that hour and a half.


    I won''t make it.


    My parents will die.


    They will be killed by a Stalker.


    There''s nothing I can do to stop it.


    I''m such a useless piece of shit.


    What am I supposed to do now?


    Sit here and wait for mom and dad to be torn to pieces?


    Just... sit?


    I can ignore the deaths of people I don''t know.


    But just wait for my own parents to die?


    ¡ª ...


    ...Hell no...


    You won''t make it anyway. ¡ª Whispered an inner voice.


    Shut up.


    You''re exhausted. Too weak.


    Shut up!


    You can''t even take a step. What kind of savior are you?


    SHUT THE FUCK UP!


    No weight fell. It just got heavier.


    I''m running towards the station. Not stopping. It''s been twenty minutes.


    Every breath I take is an excruciating pain.


    My lungs feel like they''re being torn apart.


    I don''t care.


    I''ll be in time. I will definitely...


    There''s a chance.


    One chance.


    My parents came by ship...


    But there''s nothing in our town that looks like a dock or a pier.


    Therefore...


    If they called me as soon as they got off the boat...


    So they still have to go and go.


    In that case, I can make it.


    It''s not impossible.


    The hell I''m going to let them die...


    ...


    ....


    The train arrived just in time for me.


    I''m so glad things are going my way.


    Not counting the ones that happened because of stupidity.


    I jump on the train, surprising the people around me.


    I immediately fall onto an empty seat and try to catch my breath.


    My lungs feel like they''re going to explode.


    This marathon literally destroyed the body from the inside.


    It hurts.


    Lungs, heart, limbs, blood vessels. They''re on fire.


    Vision is turned off for a while.


    I wipe the sweat from my brow.


    After that it''s a little easier.


    ...I overexerted myself.


    The condition is critical.


    But it''s bearable.


    I''ve had worse. Much worse.


    Still...


    If I had stopped just once, this train would have left.


    And they only run every couple of hours.


    I''d have to find a car.


    There are also buses, but they are too slow.


    I managed, everything else is not terrible.


    Now I have some time.


    I have to think of a plan of action.


    Otsuki said that no evidence was found. The investigation is very stalled.


    This Stalker definitely knows his stuff.


    I can''t beat a professional killer.


    Not in a direct collision.


    ...


    Can I intercept my parents on their way home?


    What if that''s what he''s waiting for?


    ¡ª ...


    Damn.


    I wanted to come up with a plan, but now I''m just even more confused.


    The problem is in the physical condition.


    My head is completely out of whack.


    I''m only enough for the simplest operations.


    I can''t outsmart someone who knows everything about me.


    Even in perfect condition, it''s almost impossible.


    ...Let alone the current one.


    In the end, I''m stuck again.


    Stuck in doubts mixed with impatience.


    It''s just a matter of luck.


    The train is too slow.


    (...Stop it.)


    I can''t have depressing thoughts.


    Since I can''t think of anything worthwhile, I need to at least mentally prepare myself.


    At least I can do that, right?


    <hr>


    Part 4


    <hr>


    The longest hour and a half in my life.


    For the first time I feel defeated by impatience.


    I checked my watch every ten minutes.


    Although it seemed like an hour had passed.


    ¡ª Damn it...


    Can''t it be faster?


    Need to hurry.


    However...


    Trains run according to the schedule.


    And they don''t care about the problems of a random half-wit schoolboy.


    And this train also arrives on schedule.


    Exactly an hour and a half.


    I''ve checked my watch thirty-four times.


    There can be no mistake.


    At least my body had time to rest. Within reasonable limits.


    As soon as the doors open, I immediately jump out of the train.


    ¡ª If only it would work...!


    Drive slower, damn you!


    For your sake...


    After running a few more kilometers, I stop. I''m taking a quick step.


    The house is just around the corner.


    ¡ª ...


    A car is parked near it.


    Are they back already?


    The car is not familiar to me, so maybe it''s someone else.


    ...


    ...That''s even worse!


    Damn...


    The car is empty. There''s no one around.


    In fact, for all the time that I was running, I didn''t notice a single person.


    I wish I could just chalk it up to paranoia.


    But that''s kind of...


    What are you thinking about? You were so eager to come here, and now you''re standing like an idol?


    Shut up...


    Are you thinking about all sorts of left-wing bullshit, just to find an excuse not to go into the house? To your own house!


    ¡ª ...


    Your legs are shaking! You can''t fool yourself! Fucking coward!


    ...Shut up.


    Take a deep breath. Then exhale.


    The first step.


    Second.


    Third.


    I''m sick to my stomach.


    Fourth.


    I''m getting chills.


    Fifth.


    My mind is completely empty.


    Not a soul around.


    Just me...


    ...and a house that has turned from a home...


    ...To the House of Fear.


    The sixth step.


    I shiver.


    Seventh...


    I''m twisting.


    ...Step eight.


    My blood runs cold.


    ...Ninth...


    I found myself on the porch.


    The tenth step.


    I stop. Forcibly.


    The throbbing headache that has been haunting me the whole time has gotten a hundred times worse.


    If it were any worse, I''d pass out from the pain.


    That scene again.


    With each step, it became clearer and clearer.


    With each step, she became more clearly imprinted in my memory.


    Like an absolute tattoo.


    This scene...


    Yes.


    The nightmare of my dreams.


    It has always seemed strange why the same thing repeats day after day.


    ...Now...


    It''s all so obvious now.


    My head is going to explode.


    Looks like some blood vessels have burst.


    My vision went off again. Lucky...


    However, I''m taking the next step.


    Clarity comes.


    I open the door.


    The nose immediately breaks through.


    A pungent smell.


    Salty and sweet.


    Metallic.


    In fact, I smelled it a long time ago. Standing in front of the car.


    That''s the reason for the inactivity.


    The door is open.


    Another step...


    A strange sound.


    *Squish*


    *Squish*


    The squelching of thick liquid.


    The sound comes directly from the floor.


    ...


    ...From my feet.


    As soon as I realize this, I notice.


    My shoes are soaked with something wet.


    Another one...


    Vision...


    ...It''s back.


    Along with the memory.


    I''m standing in a pool of blood.


    This is it.


    The same scene from nightmares.


    I already know what will happen next.


    Paralysis.


    The body is no longer under my control.


    As if in a trance, I slowly move forward.


    Except for sight, all other senses are shut off.


    Now I see. All I can do right now is watch.


    A step away from me is someone''s hand.


    A woman''s. A ring on her ring finger.


    A few more steps.


    The blood didn''t come from here.


    It came from the kitchen.


    I''m going this way.


    This is it.


    In the kitchen.


    It.


    She.


    The culmination of the nightmares.


    Two mangled corpses.


    Try as you might, it''s impossible to identify anyone here.


    Bloody scraps mixed with something brown, as well as admixtures of something yellow.


    The smell is not pleasant.


    Should I thank God that I can''t smell it?


    It feels like there''s more blood than the human body can hold.


    It''s everywhere.


    Walls, floor, refrigerator, table, chairs, various furniture.


    Not long ago the room was a pleasant green color...


    The head involuntarily turns to the sink.


    It is filled to the brim with some incomprehensible liquid.


    It would seem to be blood, but the color is different.


    Slightly transparent.


    Perhaps diluted with water?


    There''s something floating in this liquid.


    Looks like...


    Fingers.


    ...


    ...


    It was all just decoration.


    Decoration for... What?


    A Work of art?


    These dreams were destroying me from the inside.


    But at the same time...


    I found a strange aesthetic in them.


    As if it wasn''t a massacre...


    Not a massacre, but...


    A Picture.


    Like an artist expressing his feelings. Trying to share his vision of the world.


    Is it his fault that the world turned out to be... Like this?


    In the middle of the room stood... girl.


    Straight black silky hair fell slightly short of her shoulders.


    Thin neck. Snow-white skin.


    Perfect body proportions. Nothing superfluous.


    A beautiful face. Deep ruby eyes that, for some reason... had nothing in them.


    If there was even a spark of intelligence in those eyes, perhaps it was worth calling this appearance perfect?


    Other than that, there was nothing to find fault with.


    Like a princess Snow White descended from the pages of a fairy tale.


    But had Snow White ever been covered in blood from head to toe?


    Definitely not.


    Snow White would never stand around a pile of corpses with a knife in her hands.


    And that made her boring.


    And that''s what...


    This was the main object in the picture that unfolded in front of me.


    I''ve never understood fine art, so I can''t explain it in the right words.


    But...


    There''s a charm to it.


    I''ll have a lot of time to think about it.


    In hell.


    All this time I didn''t notice, but it seems that this girl noticed me a long time ago.


    I think she''s trying to tell me something.


    But I can''t hear.


    My hearing dissolved as soon as I got inside.


    So I won''t be able to answer her anything.


    A little time passes.


    Her expression becomes too complex.


    I couldn''t read it before.


    But now...


    It seems there was joy at first...


    Joy?


    I don''t understand.


    What was she so happy about?


    Later it was replaced by sadness.


    Bitterness.


    Maybe my silence had upset her.


    Should I have apologized?


    Now...


    I have no idea.


    Her face was blank.


    Her lips stopped moving. She is silent.


    Walks towards me. Raises her hands.


    A moment later...


    My vision goes black.


    I lose touch with reality.


    She must have stabbed me in the heart.


    Sorry? Granted a quick death?


    Looks like I don''t have much time left.


    How long does the brain work after the heart stops?


    Two minutes? Five?


    I''ve lost all my senses, so I can''t tell if it''s a long or a little.


    I can''t say anything at all.


    What was I even doing next to that girl?


    I can''t remember.


    It seems that time is coming to an end.


    The only thing my brain is thinking about right now...


    I remember one thing for sure...


    I saw tears in her eyes.


    It bothered me.


    Why?


    I won''t know it now.


    Consciousness is slow...


    ...Fading away....


    ....


    .....


    ......


    <hr>


    Part 5


    <hr>


    [31.08.12.10]


    Migraine is a disorder characterized by attacks of dull pain in a particular part of the head.


    It can be felt in the dental and auditory nerves, which are among the most sensitive nerves in the human body.


    It is usually possible to interrupt its symptoms with medication or, at most, with painkillers.


    But what about a person whose migraines extend to the entire volume of his or her head and are many times more severe than normal migraines?


    He''s already tried treatment. Taken a bunch of different medications, seen doctors, undergone tests. To no avail.


    While I was half asleep, an inner voice began to broadcast all sorts of incomprehensible things.


    What kind of language is that of a telemarketing salesman?


    Brrr...


    The answer came immediately.


    The man with the migraine is You. Wake up!


    Eh?


    Before I realized it, a sharp pain pierced my head.


    ¡ª AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!


    W-what... what the... fuck?!


    The shock of pain knocks me out for a few minutes.


    Or for a few hours?


    I have no idea.


    The main thing is that it hurt like hell.


    When consciousness returned, the pain was gone.


    There was something... phantom.


    Phantom pain.


    It''s the same feeling when you lose a limb.


    It doesn''t seem to be there, but the pain is present.


    Something similar is happening to my head right now.


    But the head is still there...


    I''m touching it.


    Everything is right. The head is here. Safe and sound.


    But what is this feeling?


    It clearly goes beyond common sense.


    Something ephemeral.


    Not caused by physics.


    And that sharp pain?


    For the first time in my life, I lost consciousness from pain shock.


    It felt pretty bad.


    Compared to that, these phantom pains feel even pleasant.


    It''s like when you''re faced with a complex problem that requires active thinking.


    Simply put ¨C information overload.


    But just now I was sleeping peacefully...


    Are dreams capable of producing a volume large enough to make your head hurt?


    ...And so much so...


    Damn.


    Information...


    I can''t remember.


    This phantom pain blocks any thought processes.


    It ''s like he ''s talking:


    [Wait for the download.]


    ¡ª ...


    I walk around the house aimlessly for a while.


    My mind is a mess. I just need to wait for things to calm down.


    I''m going down to the kitchen.


    I am greeted by a neat room painted in warm colors.


    It looks... sunny.


    My mother loves sunflowers.


    That''s why the apron of the kitchen set has them on it.


    The headset itself is painted green for a combination of colors.


    There is also a panoramic window facing east overlooking the backyard.


    An excellent combination.


    After all, the sun rises in the east.


    The backyard is covered with greenery.


    And the headset is green.


    Mom really understands these things.


    The morning kitchen is a truly calming sight.


    With the exception of my own room, it''s probably my favorite place to be.


    And the family is in solidarity with me.


    This place is also a dining room.


    We often gathered here for breakfast.


    Casual conversations about nothing.


    Even though I was always just a listener, this room holds many memories dear to my heart.


    At least it was supposed to.


    And it was. Until today.


    Why this strange feeling?


    The last time I was here, she seemed a little, uh... different?


    A contradiction.


    I should feel nostalgic. It''s always been like this.


    But why do I feel... fear?


    As if to answer my doubts, the phantom pain grew stronger.


    Is there something I don''t know?


    What did I forget...?


    Somehow I feel uneasy.


    It''s better to get out of here as soon as possible.


    Maybe some fresh air will make me feel better.


    After walking a few blocks to the nearest park, I stop at an old, dilapidated bench.


    We have a town of rich people, they should devour such lawlessness with shit?


    Anyway, this bench hasn''t been repaired in a long time.


    But I''m not picky.


    I''ll sit on it.


    It''s the last day of summer vacation and summer itself.


    The new semester starts tomorrow.


    A warm summer breeze ruffles my hair.


    The morning sun warms.


    Not a soul.


    I feel... fresh.


    So nice...


    ¡ª Hmm?


    When did I get used to this feeling?


    It seems that he spent every day walking in nature. I had to get used to it.


    Why does this feel so new?


    The phantom pain has gotten worse.


    ¡ª Enough already!


    What is this nonsense?!


    I want to remember!


    What''s going on?


    Why is everything around me so weird?


    I know the answer!


    Then why...


    Why... I can''t remember anything?


    Something definitely happened to me before.


    Yesterday was August 30th.


    My parents and sister went on vacation. I walked them to the train, and then I did pointless shit.


    Nothing else happened.


    Nothing important, for sure.


    Nothing that could change my perception so much.


    Nothing...


    ¡ª ...


    *Click*


    It was as if electricity was connected to a certain section of memory.


    An explosion.


    Firework.


    Images began to flash before my eyes.


    Millions. Hundreds of millions.


    Billions of petabytes of various information were now passing through brain cells. With breakneck speed.


    This monstrous pain arose again.


    It''s even worse than before.


    It''s tearing my head apart.


    Literally.


    The brain seemed to have turned into liquid. Flowing from one state to another.


    There is no other way to explain it.


    I''m losing my sense of time.


    From the outside, it seems like I''m stuffed with all the existing narcotic substances.


    Body is melting. It''s on ice.


    The wind howls in my ears. Water comes out of them.


    I''m floating in the air. I am in the core of the earth.


    I''m bursting with energy. I''m a dead man.


    Heaven and Hell.


    Simultaneously.


    I am experiencing thousands of different states at the same time.


    Many of them are opposite to each other.


    How much time has passed?


    Obviously not less than several thousand years.


    I feel that much older.


    ...


    ....


    .......


    When it all comes back to me, the sun has already set.


    I find myself lying under a bench.


    I don''t know how nobody noticed me all day, but...


    Maybe because of the tall grass?


    Or maybe nobody cares.


    Anyway, it''s good.


    Otherwise, I would have to come up with excuses.


    I''m not sure they would have been accepted.


    ¡ª Pha...!


    Like it matters!


    I don''t care!


    I got my memory back.


    Completely.


    I understand everything! Finally!


    I feel like a scientist who has mastered thermonuclear fusion after several decades of hard work.


    To hell with thermonuclear fusion! After all, I am...


    All this information didn''t come from the void.


    ...Because I...


    All from my memory.


    ...Because I...


    Phantom pain just connected that partition to the main system.


    ...Because I...


    The memory of past lives.


    ...I can rewind time.

 Interlude. Awareness

    ¡ª ...


    It''s too late.


    I have to go home.


    I''d like to take a bath, too.


    12 hours in the grass.


    Sounds so-so.


    My path is illuminated by two light sources.


    The sun and the moon.


    The first one has not had time to go in yet, the second one has just appeared.


    Although, there is no sense from the moon now.


    My whole body itches. I''m covered in greenery and dirt.


    Brr...


    No problems with anything else though.


    Nothing hurts.


    The only thing that bothers me...


    Feeling cold.


    I can''t put it down to the weather.


    And to a sickness, too.


    This is... something else.


    It''s too unnatural.


    It looks like a black hole pulling heat out of the body. With stunning speed.


    The remarkable thing is that it doesn''t feel physical.


    It''s like a phantom headache.


    The body does not react to it in any way.


    If there is something like a soul...


    ...And if this soul has warmth...


    ...Then this cold drains it out of there.


    Or maybe I''m just completely off the rails and making up all sorts of nonsense.


    I can''t rule it out.


    I come home in deep thought.


    Ignoring everything, I go to the bathroom.


    Now I can relax a bit.


    ...


    ....


    ........


    The water temperature is almost boiling.


    And I''m still cold.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    And it''s hot.


    Scalding hot.


    Anything hotter and I''d burn myself.


    This cold feels much stranger now.


    ...Is it really sucking the heat out of my soul?


    It''s like a slow bleeding.


    I think...


    I actually bled to death once.


    This is recorded in a new memory section.


    And this cold has a similar feeling.


    ¡ª ...


    I''m feeling a little sick.


    I turn down the water temperature.


    It should be better now.


    I found out what I wanted.


    It remains to be hoped that this freezing feeling will pass by itself.


    I don''t think there is a cure.


    I don''t think it''s even detectable.


    ¡ª ...The aura of death?


    Sounds good.


    Will go. Let''s call it that.


    There''s one more thing left.


    Time rewind.


    ¡ª ...


    Time rewind?


    It sounds like something very delusional.


    But...


    I have no other explanation for what happened.


    Yesterday was September 21st.


    My parents and I died yesterday.


    Today is August 31.


    And it''s not the first time.


    This time period comes up too often in my mind.


    It''s basically the same thing, but some of the moments are different.


    I think there are at least ten versions.


    And in each one, I''m killed on the evening of September 21st.


    That''s never changed.


    The methods have changed, but not the timing.


    And every time I died, I came back here.


    August 31st.


    And the nightmares started today, too.


    ¡ª Wait a minute...


    ...Nightmares?


    Nightmares that completely repeat the day of my death?


    Without any of the extra bullshit?


    ...


    This is not nightmares.


    My brain was just replaying fragments of my life.


    As if trying to make me remember.


    But each time I forgot.


    For what reason?


    Well, it''s pretty obvious.


    People don''t just come back to life.


    In fact, they don''t come back to life at all.


    How would a person who''s risen from the dead feel?


    Even though time has rewound, if the memory doesn''t fade, we can say that the person has really risen.


    What will he feel when he awakens?


    Resurrection violates all the laws of nature.


    The instinct of rebirth is not inherent in any creature.


    It simply won''t understand what happened.


    There will be dissonance.


    There''s no telling what would happen to it.


    But nothing good for sure.


    Perhaps all these phantom sensations are the consequences of experienced death.


    And this is beyond the understanding of current science.


    It''s happened to me several times.


    Probably a hundred.


    This part of my memory is a mess.


    Memories are mixed up.


    Now I can''t say the exact number of deaths.


    ...


    So.


    Why did I forget about it?


    Elementary.


    To keep from going crazy.


    Did it work out?


    Not really.


    And now in more detail.


    Like all living beings, I don''t have an instinct that tells me what to do when you suddenly resurrect.


    But there is an advanced system of protection against unwanted influences. And memories.


    People tend to forget things that are unpleasant to them.


    Is death pleasant?


    ¡ª ...


    I think not.


    The brain hid unpleasant information in the subconscious in order to keep my mental health intact.


    And he was making progress in this...


    Until today.


    I guess I should commend it for its efforts.


    It''s just that my stubborn desire to remember turned out to be stronger. That''s all.


    That''s why the nightmares.


    I''m fine now, but something happened quite recently... paradoxical.


    Something inexplicable and contradictory.


    For twelve hours.


    It seems that this is what all the defense mechanisms tried to protect my psyche from.


    I''m still not able to figure out exactly what was going on there, but...


    The fact that I am conscious now can only be called a miracle.


    Now it seems to me that it is impossible to withstand this.


    Even people with a stable psyche wouldn''t last ten seconds.


    And I was there for twelve hours...


    Are there any words at all describing such a phantasmagoric phenomenon?


    It''s scary to admit it...


    But, right now, I seem to be alright.


    Should I give myself a medal for, uh, mental stability?


    ¡ª This is something very strange...


    So much has happened in such a short time...


    I sighed heavily and put my hands on my chest.


    A hot bath is relaxing...


    ¡ª ...


    Before each death, it seemed to me that everything was over.


    To some extent, I was even glad of it.


    Who would have thought that everything would turn out like this?


    It''s not over.


    Everything is just beginning.


    A new semester starts tomorrow.


    I would like to spend it and all my school years in an ordinary way.


    But it seems that this is not destined to come true.


    ¡ª What a shitty life I have after all...

 Chapter 4. The Beginning

    Part 1


    <hr>


    [01.09.12.10]


    Early morning.


    The alarm is set for 6 a.m.


    I check my watch.


    All right.


    I still have a little time before school starts.


    ¡ª It would be much more if I didn''t live in the Bear Corner...


    But most of it will take to get there.


    I look out the window.


    It''s sunny. The blue sky is dotted with a few clouds.


    Looks like a great start to the day.


    By the way, the nightmares haven''t gone away.


    But now they have... less dangerous now?


    Now they are less realistic. I almost immediately forget what happened in them.


    On the one hand, this is good. Less stress.


    On the other hand...


    ¡ª ...Okay, it''s time.


    I quickly finish all the morning preparations and go out.


    It''s a fifteen-minute leisurely walk from the house to the station.


    I know the train schedule, so I''ve never waited long.


    I always arrive just in time.


    I can be proud of my punctuality, haha!


    At least something...


    Since I live in the city of the rich (I called it that), it is obvious that the infrastructure here is obviously pretty good.


    The power lines are hidden underground. There are practically no places where there is a bad smell.


    The sidewalks are paved with perfectly aligned cobblestones. Perfectionists won''t complain.


    Various green spaces are planted all around, often combined in different ways.


    I only know about home gardening, but it is unlikely that cheap plants would be used here.


    The city is surrounded by mountains and is located far enough from... all densely populated places, but, nevertheless, there is a very stable connection and high Internet speed.


    The huge radio towers high up in the mountains are a factor. They can be seen from almost anywhere in the city and are a bit like the Eiffel Tower. You could even call them a local landmark.


    Even though I call it the city of the rich, it doesn§ït officially have the status of a city.


    Just a small town. An urban-type settlement, if you want.


    It doesn''t have more than 15,000 people.


    A kind of paradise for the rich who are tired of the hectic megacities. It has everything for a comfortable life and even more.


    However, the financial situation of my family is not so rosy. It is easy to understand because of the location of our house. It is at the very edge of town. The last residential street before the out of town.


    This house was a kind of gift to my great-grandfather. He worked as a foreman for a construction company that built almost every building in this town. All the houses, that''s for sure.


    In honor of the completion of the work, he got the rights to one of the houses.


    You would think that a man who reached the position of foreman of a company that builds luxury apartment complexes couldn''t be poor. Well, that''s true.


    But it''s also true that my great-grandfather is long gone. And times change.


    At these times, the family may not be poor (by the standards of this town), but we certainly not living in the best of times.


    Although, maybe it''s just me being a greedy bastard who wants an easy life.


    ¡ª ...What, I can''t even complain anymore?


    Well, It''s fine anyway, so not that I''m particularly unhappy.


    ¡ª Oh, here comes the train.


    The layout of the city implies the division into districts in relatively flat places, and a railway station is provided in each of these districts.


    Thanks to this, even despite all sorts of height differences and distances, there are no problems with movement.


    Of course, the presence of such a large number of stations for such a small number of residents is due to the special status of the city.


    (However, as far as I heard, he recently lost it...)


    But the functionality of a separate railway track scheme that exists separately from the general one in the country has not gone away.


    You could even call it a kind of surface metro.


    The only high school in the city is located in the central quarter, adjacent to all administrative and government buildings. Libraries and other highly cultured institutions can also be included here.


    The concentration of vile slippery types is off the charts.


    Speaking of the regular railroad... it is definitely connected to the local "surface metro": I regularly saw trains from the outside world, but not to say that the opportunity to use them fell out often. In fact, I don''t remember the last time I went anywhere at all.


    ¡ª ...It feels like I was destined to be stuck here for the rest of my life....


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    ¡ª ...


    I''m really alive.


    I still can''t believe it.


    And my parents are alive.


    Although I''ve seen them so many times... in the form of...


    The same scene pops up in my eyes.


    I feel a little queasy.


    Don''t think about the bad.


    Think about the good.


    They''re alive now.


    I should call them.


    With trembling hands I dial the right number.


    A lot of money will be charged for roaming.


    But I want to be sure.


    After a couple of rings, a melodious female voice is heard from the other side.


    Like a balm for the soul.


    [¡ª Oh-oh, is that Akuta? Called? First?! Is it going to snow tomorrow?] ¨C She tried to hide her sincere surprise behind jokes.


    ¡ª ...Um...


    [¡ª You did it on purpose, didn''t you? Are you trying to ruin our vacation? Besides, we''re going to Hawaii, so why the snow?]


    ¡ª What snow? Does the fact that I called really surprise you that much?


    [¡ª Of course! You never call first! That''s never happened before! Something happened?]


    Is that so...?


    ¡ª ...Nothing... I just wanted to... How are you doing?


    [¡ª You''re always like this...]


    I''m changing the subject? I admit, I am sinned.


    Mom immediately realized what such a gesture meant, and began to talk about her own. Soon she started talking and all I had to do was occasionally agree.


    ...


    .....


    .........


    ¡ª ...Okay, I have to go to school.


    [¡ª Eh? What, already?! There was a note of panic in her voice.


    I''m not going anywhere, so there''s no need to be so dramatic...


    ¡ª I''ll call you later.


    There were sobs on the other side.


    Is she really crying?


    What did I do wrong again?


    ¡ª Uh... Mom?


    [¡ª Sorry... sorry... simply... I''m so happy... *sniff* *sniff*... our Akuta has finally started talking...]


    I''ve been able to talk for a long time¡­


    [¡ª Finally started... to take an interest... in our lives...]


    ¡ª And why cry... In short, bye! Say hello to father and Shiori for me. ¨C I hurried to finish this dialogue as soon as possible.


    (...Why do I feel like a moral bastard?)


    I''ve always been apathetic in dealing with people, but is that a reason to be so worried? I don''t get it.


    Anyway, this conversation helped me relax.


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    I can''t fully understand their concern, but, I see.


    They really love me.


    Even though I''ve always been cold with them. As with all people, in general.


    Now I''m even a little ashamed of my behavior.


    I''m not sure if it will work, but...


    I''ll try to be more open.


    ...


    My parents are alive and well. Now the doubts are gone.


    They''re alive, even though I saw their bodies with my own eyes.


    I have a chance to save them.


    And I will use it. This time I will definitely...


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    There''s one more person.


    ¡ª It will be much more difficult with her.


    Hidemi Nomura. Head of the class.


    A quiet girl with glasses who is very good at studying. A template?


    If only...


    She has some kind of unhealthy interest in my person.


    She''s too intrusive.


    I assumed it was envy.


    Still, I was the only one whose grades were better.


    Maybe I''ll be right in the end, and all this pestering will turn out to be just steps in her revenge plans. If so, then her death may even be in my favor.


    But now this version seems unlikely to me.


    ¡ª There''s the school.


    The only high school in town. I don''t understand why it was necessary to give such a huge building for a school. Half the classrooms are always empty anyway. There just aren''t enough kids for this place.


    Maybe it''s for image purposes. After all, this is a city of the rich.


    Sometimes it begins to seem to me that this status is a kind of curse. So much senseless waste for the sake of... what?


    Pride that any stone here is decorated to the highest standard? You won''t even notice it... You''d better give this money to me. It will be more useful.


    This isn''t just a school problem. It''s everywhere.


    I''m not sure, but it''s unlikely that there is any sacred meaning hidden in a bunch of empty classrooms. Except that little children play hide-and-seek there at night. Well, or not small... and not hide-and-seek...


    ¡ª Ahem, ahem...


    A red Lamborghini is parked near the entrance. The director, I think.


    ...Okay, I admit it. I''m just an envious person. Just a evil envious motherfucker.


    Is that what I''m supposed to be thinking about right now?


    Damn. I''m already enjoying a break. What a lazy wimp I am.


    I look at my watch.


    Turns out I''ve been standing there like a statue for five minutes.


    ¡ª I''ll be so late!


    I have to hurry.


    I don''t think anything big is going to happen on the first day of school, but I shouldn''t be late.


    In general, you can not walk in street shoes inside the school, but in practice no one follows this. So I used to ignore this rule. At least on dry days. This saves quite a lot of time.


    Now I''m doing the same thing and go to the class.


    If I haven''t forgotten anything, today is a normal day. The only thing is that at the beginning of each semester, students are redistributed to their desks. And, it seems, I know who I will have to sit next to this time.


    It''s easy to find out, even without using an extra section of memory.


    Am I right? We''ll find out now.


    The compartment door slid aside with a slight hum, opening the way to the classroom.


    Several people looked at me with interest, but even they quickly returned to their business when they saw Who had just entered.


    All as usual.


    How else to react to an eternally silent loner?


    Since the very beginning of my studies, I have not tried to have any relationships with classmates. Moreover, I ignored their attempts. In the end, everyone realized that it was pointless to establish contact with me and stopped.


    So, my current relationship with the class is like to... coexistence.


    It suits me completely.


    ...It was.


    ¡ª ...


    I''ve decided to change? Why am I standing here and not saying anything?


    I was going to say hello, but the words just didn''t want to come out. They stuck in a lump in the throat, causing a tickle.


    Yeah...


    It''s like all my nature is against it.


    Still, I have to admit. People don''t change that easily.


    Maybe I just need to spend more time with my family. I''ve never been very good at getting along with my classmates anyway.


    Socializing will have to wait. There''s something more important right now.


    ¡ª ...


    Even though my relationship with my class is pretty strained, there''s one person who seems to ignore the idiotic aura of loneliness that oozes out of me.


    Yes, he... she was waving at me the whole time.


    I guess my place is over there somewhere. All right, let''s go.


    <hr>


    Part 4


    <hr>


    ¡ª ...


    Several lessons have passed.


    It''s lunchtime now. At least for everyone.


    For me, it''s just a long break.


    Even coming back from the dead isn''t enough to give me the ability to eat solid food again.


    Yeah, I''m still throwing up.


    I''m unlikely to be exhausted much in one day, but I already know.


    It''s just going to get worse and worse.


    That''s supposed to mean I should hurry up, right?


    However, I still haven''t done anything.


    Simply... studied. Like a diligent student... Ugh.


    This habit of killing time studying has raised my academic performance to some incredible level, but in general, there is no benefit from it. Is that empty praise from teachers (read like pain in the ass).


    When you have a huge pile of free time, good grades cease to be something unattainable.


    It has always been like this. Starting from elementary school.


    And that''s probably the only thing I''m good at.


    But that''s not the point.


    Class Rep is surprisingly quiet today. We just exchanged greetings today, she showed me the place where I''m sitting in the new semester. And everything. Nothing extraordinary.


    It even began to seem to me that she was always like this.


    Why did she seem like such a pain in the ass to me before?


    Now I see a complete coincidence of character and appearance.


    She only looks at me strangely from time to time. Of course, this is also not the most pleasant feeling, but compared to what it was...


    Although, maybe I''m just rushing things? It''s only been one day. I still have three weeks.


    Even though I was justified in words, my heart did not feel any easier.


    I still want to return to my old life. And I''d like to do it as soon as possible. But I guess that''s not going to happen.


    How can you beat someone who knows everything about you?


    I remember asking myself a similar question once. And I gave myself a pretty simple answer.


    Impossible.


    And at that time the answer was correct.


    But now the situation is different.


    There''s more than one answer.


    I need information.


    Right now I almost have nothing. It''s enough to try to come up with something blindly, but... the chances of my death in this case tend to infinity. And I don''t want to die yet.


    But let''s start in order. What do I even know?


    That the Class Rep was killed presumably on the 15th.


    And me... 21st.


    And that the murderer was a girl.


    That''s it?


    I can''t even remember her appearance. The memory of this is too blurred.


    No. There has to be something else. Something...


    Hmm?


    One day I fainted on the way to school. And someone carried me there.


    Stalker?


    But she killed me afterwards. Why would she do such a thing?


    Was it someone else?


    I can''t rule that out.


    Damn...


    This will only confuse me even more.


    Don''t speculate. Right now I need facts.


    And the fact is that I have almost nothing to do with the information about fainting. Unless...


    It sounds crazy...


    But it''s worth a try. I don''t have anywhere else to waste my time anyway, do I?


    ...


    ......


    What else?


    Both murders took place in the victims'' houses.


    If I want to stop it, all I have to do is be in their houses on the day of their death.


    I''ll probably die, but at least I''ll find out something more than just the sex of the murderer.


    And then I can make a proper plan.


    ¡ª ...


    Die?


    I''m willing to do that so easily?


    Even now, my hands are shaking just thinking about it. Plus the stupid heat-sucking cold.


    And now I''m discussing a plan that involves a repeat of this nightmare?


    Like hell. I don''t want to die.


    I really don''t.


    Even if my memory of my past life is crumpled and tangled, the memory of a bloody kitchen is always clean and fresh.


    Of course it is. I''ve been dreaming about it every day for the past month.


    This scene is burned into my brain. It is tightly soldered.


    It''s impossible to forget. No matter how hard I try.


    That''s why I''m not able to eat properly right now. That''s why I keep having nightmares. That''s why they take the heat out of me.


    Because I''m d i e d.


    And now I''m saying that I''m ready to repeat it?


    That''s just a cheap self-deception.


    No matter how brave I am, I just can''t make a move on their house at the right time.


    Because then I will die. Again. And again...


    And one more thing... How do I know there''s no limit to my reincarnation?


    Maybe this is my last attempt.


    ¡ª ...


    Nothing has started yet, and I''m already cornered.


    A plan that forces me to die is unacceptable.


    I must think of something else.


    But nothing comes to mind.


    ...


    ......


    I''m not going to die. But the information is still needed. Nothing has to change. Just... don''t do anything risky.


    That''s all.


    The plan remains the same.


    We have to get Class Rep not to come home on the day of the murder.


    That''s a pretty weak plan. There''s nothing stopping the Stalker from doing the deed on any other day.


    But my brain can''t come up with anything better right now.


    I have to think it through in the background. Fortunately, there''s plenty of time.


    ...Is it?


    <hr>


    Part 5


    <hr>


    To force Class Rep not to come home.


    Since we were practically strangers, it wouldn''t be easy.


    I was expecting her to be as nonchalant as usual, but the reality was different.


    She doesn''t do anything. Too apathetic.


    What the hell?


    What changed since last time? WHAT CHANGED?!


    Why? She''s supposed to...


    (I want to bang my head against the wall...)


    ...Does that mean I have to take the initiative?


    Sounds... so-so.


    I''m not too good at building relationships. In fact, I''m terrible. Absolute zero.


    It''s hard for me to even respond to people.


    And this...


    ...


    Well, the problem is quite serious.


    And it arose not because of any murderers, but out of my own weakness.


    How do conversations even begin? With a greeting?


    It won''t work. We''ve already said hello.


    So...


    Then...


    What then? How long do I have to stand with my mouth open?


    I sigh heavily.


    I have no idea how to act in these situations.


    ...Should I just wait for her to speak?


    How pathetic...


    I thought I was so cool in my head, but in reality I''m a half-wit.


    ...


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª ...


    I almost had it! Why did I stop?!


    I want to cry.


    No matter how much you force yourself, as long as every cell of your body is resisting it, nothing worth will not come out.


    I won''t be able to speak first. My modus operandi is not designed for that.


    I need something else.


    Like... just observing.


    Perhaps I''ll find the reason for the Class Rep''s suddenly changed behavior.


    I might even find something to talk about.


    Class Rep recently came back with a with a bag in her hand. It looks like she went to the store to buy some food.


    And she eats. Yeah.


    Slowly. Little by little. Drinking after each bite.


    If the sight of food didn''t make me sick, I''d call it cute.


    ...


    Heck!


    I''m doing some bullshit again!


    Stupid. Really stupid.


    I''m done...


    I need to freshen up. Otherwise I''ll die again.


    Nervously rubbing my temples, I get up from my seat. Then I head for the exit.


    Casting a quick glance in the direction of Class Rep.


    She notices me. Then waves and smiles peacefully.


    (Are you some kind of kuudere or something...?)


    ...No, there''s definitely something wrong here.


    ...


    .....


    ........


    ..........


    .............


    Oww...


    It hurts...


    It stuns me for a second.


    I was on the ground before I realized it.


    Hmm?


    It seems that I was thinking too deeply and didn''t notice that I was walking at a pretty fast pace in a very crowded hallway.


    It didn''t lead to anything good. In the end, I bumped into someone.


    Seconds later, my vision returned.


    A girl sat a meter away from me, plopping down on her ass and rubbing her reddened forehead.


    Loose blue hair of medium length, just below the shoulders. Big eyes with purple irises. A pretty face. I''m lying, it''s beautiful. School uniform (really, jeez).


    And, even if I can''t calculate it with absolute accuracy in this position, it looks like she''s quite tall.


    And also... I don''t know if it''s worth mentioning, but...


    Our school uniforms are quite boring and heavy. You could even say it''s a little baggy. It''s pretty hard to see anything through it.


    And yet... the center of her charm was able to break through this pile of fabric.


    It... this... centre... it''s pretty big.


    It''s hard to notice in normal state, but when she''s so close to me...


    Are they pulling on D, or am I overdoing it? I have no idea. This stupid school uniform makes it difficult to determine more precisely.


    In my opinion, they are even bigger than Class Rep''s...


    Since You have the strength to study other people''s boobs with such enthusiasm, then You are capable of solving a murder case, aren''t you?! ¡ª From somewhere in the depths of the subconscious came a deafening roar.


    Kh... I''m working on it, okay? I''m working...


    Why yell that...


    Okay, forget it.


    It''s just... do I remember them being smaller?


    Or was it just something I didn''t pay attention to back then?


    ¡ª Ko... Kouhai-kun? It''s you, isn''t it?


    She''s finally came to her senses.


    In general, she woke up a long time ago, I was just too busy looking at her appearance.


    Now she looks at me with an expression of either surprise or interest. Something in between.


    She recognized me. Although we are actually strangers.


    How can we characterize our relationship?


    In short, she is a friend of my older sister, who now has to study at the university. In Tokyo, I think.


    And while my sister is her friend, I''m not.


    We only crossed paths occasionally in high school. And we learned information about each other from our sister. At least, it looks like this to me.


    To better understand the level of our closeness, I can say this: I don''t even know her name. She always just called me ¡°Kouhai-kun¡±, and demanded to call me the same.


    For me, a stranger to people in principle, it didn''t make much difference what to call them. I just didn''t interact with them.


    It''s the same here. It doesn''t matter at all whether I know her name or not. She''s still a stranger.


    ¡ª ...Sorry, I didn''t notice. Yes, Senpai, it''s me.


    ¡ª Ho-oh-oh... Kohai-kun, didn''t you get sleep wall? Already standing up, Senpai asked with a slight smirk.


    ¡ª Yeah, a little. Nothing serious.


    I don''t think she needs to know more. There''s no need to talk about your condition in vain.


    But it seems that Senpai doesn''t think so. The kind smile has not gone away, but the eyes have become slightly... suspicious? As if she realized I was lying.


    ¡ª I ger it. But you''re coming to the club, right? ¡ª I understood, but decided to keep silent.


    ...Wait, what?


    ¡ª Club?


    What club?


    Do I look like a person joining clubs? Of course not.


    Is there something I don''t know about myself?


    ¡ª Yeah, club.


    ¡ª Em... club? ¨C I don''t think this help, but still I decide to ask again.


    ¡ª Kouhai-kun really didn''t get enough sleep, did he? Full sleep is the key to good health, you know.


    ¡ª ...


    She doesn''t look like she''s joking. If I continue to stand there without understanding, I''ll arouse suspicion. Even if I really don''t know.


    Did I really manage to join a club?


    Oh, I don''t like all this.


    ¡ª ...Yes, you''re right. I will come. My head is not thinking straight today.


    ¡ª That''s great! Last semester you practically didn''t come in, I even started to worry. It''s a bit lonely out there without you...


    Is that flirting?


    ¡ª Em...


    I don''t even know what to say...


    ¡ª ...Oh, yes! What classroom it is in? It all slipped my mind over the summer.


    Phew... If I hadn''t asked, the hell I would have found it. I don''t even know where I came in.


    Senpai was a little taken aback by this, but still told the exact location.


    And she''s really tall. Just a third of a head shorter than me.


    ...


    Club...


    What the hell is a club?


    Where the hell did this come from?


    Sorry, Class Rep, but priorities have changed. I have to deal with this nonsense.


    But first I need to wait for the end of lessons.

 Interlude. Lust for Possession

    Kouhai-kun has never been rich in emotions. He''s almost impossible to read.


    I wish him to smile more often.


    I wish him to smile.


    A smile suits your perfect face so much more. Why then?


    In the few years I''ve been watching him, he''s only smiled once.


    And even then it was forced and strained.


    After that, I decided.


    I''ll do anything to make him happy. At least a little more.


    It took a whole year to carry out my plan.


    But I did it.


    All that''s left is to show the result to Kouhai-kun.


    That''s the hardest part.


    The aura of an unsociable person is always around him.


    Of course, this means that no whore can get close to him.


    But so am I...


    What to do? What to do?


    Kouhai, you''re a fool! Lonely fool!


    ...Why is it always so difficult with you...


    ...


    ......


    .............


    ..................


    .......................


    ...............................


    The whole first semester, I couldn''t even get close to him.


    Just his presence makes the air colder.


    There''s always a distance between him and everyone else. It''s like a wall you can''t break through.


    This wall was also there in middle school. It just got bigger and stronger in high school. Several times.


    On the first day, he refused to talk to any of his classmates. He just ignored everyone.


    In middle school, even though he was a loner, he still made contact.


    And now he speaks only if the teacher asks something on the topic.


    But I''m glad.


    After all, if I can break through this wall...


    Then he will only be mine.


    I know there is a very kind and sympathetic person behind this wall of cold.


    He just doesn''t want to open up to anyone.


    I know it.


    After all, I''ve been following him for a very, very long time.


    I can''t even remember when the urge started.


    A dark desire coming from the depths of the heart.


    I''m so selfish...


    ...


    .......


    ...........


    ...............


    ...................


    Today is the first day of the new semester.


    Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    So far, I''ve just been watching from a distance.


    It''s not enough... I want more...


    I have to talk to him. And invite him to the club.


    If I push a little, he won''t refuse.


    I think so...


    No, no. I can''t think about bad things. It''ll work out.


    I know him very well. He absolutely will not refuse. Absolutely... exactly¡­


    ¡ª ¡­


    ...If I outsmart him, then for sure!


    ..............


    ....................


    As if responding to my pleas, Kouhai is coming right over.


    He seems to be thinking hard about something. At this rate, he''s going to bump into someone.


    Wait, this is my chance!


    I walked slowly towards him.


    Carefully...


    I can''t let him see me.


    The distance between us was gradually narrowing.


    This is the first time I''ve seen him in person in a month.


    I couldn''t find him during the summer vacation. He''s too good at hiding. Even if he doesn''t realize it.


    Uh...


    Is it really Kouhai?


    Has something changed in him?


    Before I realized it, we collided and our foreheads bumped into each other.


    Uwa...


    It hurts a little...


    It seemed like I was walking slowly, but still managed to fall.


    Was it really Kouhai who was walking so fast?


    ¡ª Ouch...


    Kouhai-kun really hasn''t been taught the rules of walking in crowded places.....


    It seems that the temperature in the room has become noticeably higher...


    It''s so hot.


    What''s this weird feeling in my chest? It feels like it''s on fire.


    Is it because Kouhai is so close?


    I guess I underestimated my attraction to him...


    When I watch him from afar, there is nothing like this...


    Uh-uh....


    I Can''t! Need to control myself.


    Calm down! You''re his Senpai! You have to set an example for him!


    Otherwise, he will make a mistake somewhere... He is too young and inexperienced...


    I stood up and shook myself off. Then I looked at Kouhai-kun.


    He looked at me with slightly clouded eyes. . Looks like he still hasn''t come to his senses.


    Judging by the red mark on his forehead, he hit pretty hard.


    Yet his face didn''t show any signs of pain.


    An absolutely impartial person. So much so that it''s even boring.


    I mentally sighed.


    Is his face incapable of any other expression?


    I don''t want to believe it.


    No way!


    I won''t accept it.


    ...


    ......


    .........


    But still... Is it Kouhai?


    No, it''s Kouhai, it''s just a different Kouhai.


    Something has definitely changed in him.


    It was as if the aura of loneliness, causing a chill down the spine, had slightly weakened.


    It definitely became easier to be around him. There is no longer this oppressive feeling.


    Has he become more open?


    ¡ª Ko... Kouhai-kun? It''s you, isn''t it?


    Did I say that out!? No-o-o-o-o!


    He''ll think I''m weird...


    Crap!


    I wish I hadn''t...


    He didn''t react at first. He just stared at me. There was something vague in his gaze, but I couldn''t make out what it was. Still, it was impossible to read.


    Soon he stood up and began to speak.


    ¡ª ...Sorry, I didn''t notice. Yes, Senpai, it''s me.


    Phew... seems like everything is fine...


    I''ve never talked to Kouhai alone for too long, so I can''t tell exactly how he talks. But, it seems to be nothing unusual.


    The voice is not imbued with this terrible aura.


    It brings relief.


    So... everything goes smoothly. I need to get him to talk.


    ...


    ......


    ..........


    ..............


    My cherished dream has just come true...


    I finally talked to Kouhai and invited him to the club.


    And he said yes!


    What else is needed for happiness?


    ...


    ...No, it''s too early to be happy...


    The day is not over yet.


    ...


    ......


    ..........


    ..............


    Of course I''m glad... But somehow too easily Kouhai agreed.


    He won''t join clubs just on request.


    He''s definitely not that kind of person.


    But now he agreed...


    Moreover, he answered as if he had already joined.


    "¡ª I''ll be there."


    I didn''t even tell you what kind of club it was...


    Does he really sleep that badly?


    I just wanted to ask him to join...


    I didn''t want to lie to Kouhai at all, but when everything is going so well...


    I''m sorry, Kouhai-kun.


    Since everything turned out like this, I need to prepare.


    Running to the office, I look for the form he filled out for admission to school. After making a copy, I go back, find the list of participants and take out a pen and a draft.


    After several attempts, I get more or less similar to his handwriting.


    It remains only to put his name and signature on the list.


    ¨C Done ... - a few drops of sweat appeared on my forehead.


    I understand that I am doing something that is prohibited by the rules.


    I understand that if the deception is revealed, then Kouhai will not pat me on the head.


    I understand, but... I can''t help myself.


    The temptation is too great.


    I''ve been waiting for this day for a whole year. And I don''t want to wait a day longer.


    The last thing I do is clean up the club room.


    ...


    ......


    ..........


    .............


    After school, I was already waiting for Kouhai-kun.


    Patience is running out...


    ¡ª Ahhhh... why is the clock going so slow?!


    It certainly not broken, aren''t it?


    I''m checking with the others.


    Identically.


    - Hmm...


    So I just have to wait?


    He''s coming, isn''t he? For sure?


    He said he''ll come!


    Why such distrust?


    I''m just too impatient...


    Should I go after him?


    I can''t!


    Kouhai will definitely come. He promised...


    Promised...


    Yes.


    That''s why I have to wait. As an exemplary Senpai.


    ...


    .......


    How long has it been?


    ¡ª Two minutes?!


    I thought it was an hour...


    Mm-hmm...!


    A few more hours (minutes) passed, and there was a knock on the door outside.


    Finally!


    He came after all...


    ¡ª Ahem, ahem... Come in.


    I managed to gather my willpower into a fist and not snap.


    I have to keep a cool head.


    It is necessary, but very difficult...


    No, no, there is no other way! I have to look decent in front of Kouhai.


    ¡ª I''m coming in.


    Kouhai looks around a bit, then walks to the center of the room and looks around again.


    I''m trying my best to stay calm.


    It turns out so-so.


    My heart is pounding like crazy.


    ...My head is spinning.


    I take a deep breath and calm down.


    ¡ª You came after all.


    Somehow I managed to say it with an impartial tone.


    Kouhai hesitates a little.


    ¡ª Well, then... it won''t be for long. I''m going to leave the club.


    ¡ª ...


    ... Eh?

 Chapter 5. Changed circumstances

    Part 1


    <hr>


    Lessons are over.


    I still couldn''t talk to Class Rep. She didn''t seem very eager to talk to me either.


    She just smiled sweetly sometimes when our eyes met.


    What''s that supposed to mean?


    It''s supposed to be a gesture of goodwill.


    But maybe she''s the kind of person who prefers to hide her anger behind a smile. If that''s the case, I must have done something to upset her.


    It sounds a bit far-fetched, but considering the fact that she used to babble on and on in front of me, it''s probably true.


    However, I can''t say anything right now.


    I know that all I have to do is speak and everything will come out automatically...


    ...I can''t. As soon as I get up the courage to speak, the words get stuck in my throat. Disgusting.


    ...Well, she''s leaving. My last chance for today is gone.


    I could offer to walk home with her, but if I''m not mistaken, she lives on the other side.


    Well, I''ll take care of that later. Tomorrow. Or the day after. Later.


    Damn, this should be my top priority...


    ¡ª The club, huh...?


    Judging by the information received from Senpai, it is, for a second, in a building with clubs. Okay, the cabinet number is known.


    Time to go.


    After packing my stuff into my bag, I get up from my seat.


    I''m usually the last one to leave. Either because I''ve been enjoying the view out the window for a few hours, or because I''m doing my homework. Either way, on a day-to-day basis, I''m often the last person to leave the school, with the exception of a few teachers and security guards.


    However, it is still quite crowded around now. It''s unusual to see a class so full.


    ...


    ......


    After a few minutes I reach the club building.


    Another waste of money. I don''t understand why the hell a whole building should be allocated to a clubhouse. It''s the same size as a normal school, for Christ''s sake¡­ But assigned to the clubs...


    ¡ª ...


    Once inside, I felt something strange.


    Everything is so unfamiliar...


    There is no record of this place in my memory.


    I used to think I was just a forgetful idiot.


    Is it true?


    This is my first time here. I am completely sure of it.


    ... Did I really manage to join the club?


    Then why don''t I remember anything...?


    ¡ª Okay, cabinet 302.


    The sign on the door read:


    A Board Game Club.


    ¡ª ...


    Okay, I admit, I could have joined here. Still, I''m not indifferent to board games.


    (...No, that doesn''t explain anything.)


    I already have a good collection of games at home. There''s no reason to come here.


    And yet I joined?


    Was I overcome by loneliness?


    I don''t think so.


    I can play with myself for days on end.


    As the saying goes, the most difficult victory is over yourself.


    Considering how many times I''ve won this way, I should already be an absolute master. An invincible genius, if you will. I''m not supposed to be interested in the minnows from the clubs....


    So why the hell am I listed there?


    Okay, it''s time to get this over with.


    There must be a list of members. I''ll see if my name and signature are on it.


    If it is, I''ll just fill out a resignation form. If not...


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    ...Then this day was wasted on a joke.


    It was wasted anyway.


    I didn''t get any closer to my goal...


    At least I''ll get rid of the excess.


    I knock on the door.


    In response, a "come in" was heard from Senpai.


    Hmm? Is there no one else there?


    ¡ª I''m coming in.


    I''m greeted by a clean and cozy room decorated with wood.


    Even here, the rich showed off. Each room in the school is decorated to suit its own style.


    Specifically, there were several wooden cabinets against the walls, crammed with various boxes. Board games, probably.


    Very expensive-looking sofas were placed right next to the cabinets. Just looking at them made a person softer. I have no idea how it works, but it''s cool.


    Nearby there were several rather large tables with carved ornaments on the legs.


    Baroque? Maybe. I''m a sucker for that. But they look high quality. Like everything in this damn perfect city.


    The far wall, also flanked by cupboards, but apparently holding something other than board games. In the middle was a table with a kettle on it and a tea set.


    And a chair. An ordinary leather chair.


    On it gracefully sat a tall girl with loose blue hair of medium length, pleasant eyes the color of uncut sapphire and a rather big ... center of charm.


    Ha, damned idiot. Do I have to pay attention to this every time I see her?! It''s time to stop, seriously.


    Apparently, Senpai is alone in the room. I didn''t notice anyone else.


    Aren''t there supposed to be more than three people here according to the rules?


    Why then is there no one?


    Although, what do I care? I''ll just check out of here and that''s it.


    Let''s go. If you want a date, then you get it.


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    (Hmm, this place has been cleaned recently.)


    Soon I notice a bucket and a mop in the far corner.


    Cleaning - first day of the month or something?


    But did Senpai clean up alone? What, the others are not in business?


    Okay, though.


    ¡ª You came after all. ¡ª A peaceful voice.


    ¡ª Well, then... it won''t be for long. I''m going to leave the club.


    I don''t know how I managed to join, it''s time to correct this misunderstanding.


    Alas, I''m not up to extracurricular activities right now.


    ¡ª I can do this, right? Do I have to fill out a form or something?


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª Hm?


    What''s with her?


    Senpai always looked cheerful. An independent, self-confident girl with a strong character. I''m not sure there''s anything at all that could have knocked her down.


    How do I know?


    It''s very simple.


    If you want to get along with my big sister, you can''t do without a steely character. She''s a demon.


    In general... everyone who gets along with my sister automatically becomes worthy of respect for me. Because this monster will devour the weak and will not choke. The charisma gene has completely passed to her. Neither Shiori nor I got a drop.


    And that''s why the current Senpai looks so strange. Staring at the floor, her hair hid her face, so I couldn''t see her expression. But I don''t think it''s cheerful.


    What''s she so depressed about?


    ¡ª Uh... Senpai?


    ¡ª ...Why?


    ¡ª Ah...


    ¡ª You just got here... And you already want to leave...?


    That''s exactly what I just said...


    A few seconds of silence made the awkwardness absolute.


    Soon Senpai started up, raised her head and looked at me seriously.


    ¡ª...No, Kouhai-kun. It doesn''t work that way. You can''t leave the club until you defeat its strongest member. ¡ª So much determination in voice.


    ¡ª ...


    What?


    What an absurdity.


    ¡ª I don''t hit women.


    It seems that such an answer put her into a stupor.


    ¡ª ...No need to hit anyone¡­ In the board game club, everything is solved with their help. ¨C clearly pleased with her own phrase, Senpai nods to herself.


    ¡ª Hmm...


    She doesn''t want me to leave so much that she invented such a rule on the spot? I bet it''s not mentioned anywhere.


    Is it even legal?


    (Okay... let''s say...)


    Not to say that I was particularly against it¡­


    ¡ª Who am I supposed to f? There''s no one here except...


    ¡ª Exactly! It''s me!


    ¡ª You...?


    I don''t know why, but it sounds funny. I never would have thought.


    ¡ª Why the suspicious tone in your voice? For your information, Kohai-kun, I''m the head of the board game club and its strongest player. - After saying that, Senpai raised her chin in a smug manner as if she was expecting praise.


    If I had been more relaxed, I would have patted her on the head for sure.


    (Yeah... keep dreaming...).


    My destiny is to dig in the backyard garden, patting the flowers.


    ¡ª ...


    It''s even interesting. Still, I always thought I was a good player. For a thousand games with myself, I managed to almost completely master all the subtleties and nuances of the game.


    And if what Senpai says is true, then why not test yourself?


    I''m doing shit again, aren''t I?


    Oh well.


    ¡ª All right then. Let''s give it a try.


    ¡ª YES!.. I mean, wait, I''ll prepare everything. ¡ª At first, Senpai almost jumped up and down with joy, but she quickly regained her composure and with a slight blush, she started to look for something in the cupboards.


    Is my company really that much fun?


    Am I really that charismatic?


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    Some time later, Senpai returns with a tray in her hands.


    ¡ª Sorry for the wait~


    ¡ª Hmm?


    There are not only games on the tray. More tea and various goodies.


    It doesn''t really feel like a battle.


    Maybe, instead of Board Games, the name Tea Ceremonies would be more suitable for the club? Otherwise, where would such a warehouse come from?


    Although I don''t mind. Quite the opposite.


    Senpai definitely has good taste. Of all the sweets that I saw, I didn''t find any that I didn''t like. Moreover, I even adored almost everything. Considering that I am quite picky in this regard, it is surprising that our tastes coincide so much.


    True, such a mountain of food can seriously bring down all the fervor of the battle.


    Although Senpai was not going to hold a competition from the very beginning.


    So...


    Just enjoy the rest.


    Senpai puts everything on the table, then sits down and invites me in with a look.


    The sofas are so comfortable... It seems to be soft, but at the same time very elastic. They remember the shape of the person lying down.


    It''s good to be rich.


    Ah, we need to get to the table...


    Damn.


    And I just relaxed.


    ...Why do these games at all, when there are such sofas here...


    I yawn and stretch.


    Okay, let''s get started.


    ...


    .......


    ¡ª Is it a draw again?


    ¡ª Looks like it.


    I was right. No one perceived it as a struggle.


    Just a leisurely game with periodic sipping of tea with cookies.


    Another yawn.


    I''m not sure, but...


    Could there be sleep-inducing incense here? Or is it just the atmosphere?


    Meanwhile, the game changed.


    Before that, it was an ordinary children''s walker with dice throwing.


    You can''t get a draw in one round here, but it''s quite realistic in two.


    As a result, the score for two games turned out to be 1:1.


    Senpai tried to come up with topics for conversation, but I, as usual, ruined everything. Still, I''m not too good at it.


    Most of the time I just sat and listened to her stories.


    She was quite satisfied with that. I guess...


    Now it was poker''s turn. Blackjack, to be precise.


    What, a test of luck?


    Hmm...


    I guess I''m pretty damn lucky.


    After all, the trains always come exactly to my arrival. Isn''t that a sign of divine luck, huh?


    It''s a sign that you know their schedule. An inner voice popped out.


    (Ugh... always messing things up.)


    So it''s not a consequence of my luck?


    And what, it turns out, I''m not going to win in this game?


    Of course, I know the basic rules and strategies, but still, most of the time, luck decides everything. At least that''s the case for me.


    As far as I know, a real blackjack game is either a cash game or a strip game.


    I would prefer the second option, but now we are playing for conditional chips.


    And no, I don''t like to undress...


    Hmm...


    Looks like Senpai is a dealer.


    O-o-okay...


    Let''s see what I can do.

 Chapter 6. A game

    Part 1


    <hr>


    First hand.


    Chips: 5000


    Minimum bet: 1. Maximum: 500.


    And why can''t I bet everything at once and lose in the first round?


    Of course, I wasn''t going to do this, but the lack of opportunity is unpleasant.


    Okay, let''s get started.


    ¡ª I''ll bet 50.


    Three, queen versus ace.


    13 vs 11.


    Easy. More.


    Ace. 14. Nice.


    ¡ª More.


    Six. 20.


    ¡ª Stop.


    The second Senpai card turned out to be a Seven. Total 17.


    Victory. +50.


    Looks like a standard blackjack.


    Are we going to play until one player runs out of chips?


    This can take quite a long time.


    Should I raise the bet?


    Still no.


    50 again.


    Second hand.


    Seven, ten against the jack.


    17 against 10.


    I won''t do anything here.


    ¡ª Stop.


    The second card this time was an eight.


    Couldn''t have been better.


    Nice play.


    -50.


    All right, two more fiftys and I''ll do some more.


    ...


    ......


    I lose these two hands too.


    What, my luck was enough just for one hand?


    Sounds so-so.


    ¡ª I bet 500.


    The maximum.


    Fifth hand.


    6, 4 against a queen.


    Ha, easy.


    ¡ª Double it.


    This time comes the ace.


    21.


    Perfect.


    Senpai has a seven. This is the third time.


    An easy victory.


    In total, for five hands:


    +50, -50, -50, -50, +2000.


    I''m up 1,900 chips.


    Two more wins like that and it''s game over.


    Has the tide of luck really started?


    If it is, I''m going to have to keep going.


    Hand number six.


    ¡ª 500.


    ...


    ......


    Draw. Nothing interesting.


    The next four hands are also tied. Nothing special.


    Senpai didn''t show much emotion during the game. Just concentrating on her role as dealer.


    It''s a pretty boring game.


    If that case...


    We should spice it up a bit.


    Hehe...


    Here we go.


    Round eleven.


    I''m still up 1,900.


    ¡ª 500.


    Two kings are coming this time. Dealer has a three.


    20 against 3.


    Exactly what I need.


    ¡ª Double it.


    Senpai was already ready to give me the next card, but soon she stopped.


    ¡ª Uh, are you sure about this?


    Since when do dealers get to comment on players'' moves?! What kind of outrage is that?


    So I try to keep my voice as serious and firm as possible.


    ¡ª Doubling means doubling! Give me the card.


    Look! Hearken to my divine luck!


    I will perform a miracle!


    ¡ª Well, if that''s what Kouhai says, then fine...


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    Senpai pulls a card from the deck...


    And...


    And...


    It''s an ace! There''s no other way!


    What the hell are you doing...?


    You''ve been talking too much lately.


    ...


    ......


    ..........


    ... I lost.


    No miracle.


    The last card was a king.


    30 points. Overkill.


    My cheek twitched nervously.


    Did you really expect things to be different?


    (Of course!)


    Why the hell did I lose?


    No, there''s definitely something wrong here.


    Yes, and that''s your stupidity.


    Damn.


    The twelfth round...


    Thirteenth... Fourteenth...


    On the fifteenth hand, I get a twenty again.


    ¡ª Double it.


    This time everything should work out.


    ...


    ......


    Six.


    Overkill again.


    Again...


    Okay... Nevermind.


    Half an hour later, the number of hands exceeded 30.


    My nearly 2,000-point gain had turned negative.


    I''m now down 4,000.


    In other words, with a bet of 500, I only have enough for one doubling.


    Why did I even start doubling at 20 points?


    In such cases, any card except the ace leads to an automatic loss. Moreover, even the ace still does not give a guaranteed win.


    The chance of losing here is 92%. And I am not even talking about draw yet.


    And yet, this is the fifth time I''ve doubled.


    Why?


    Because why not?


    I''ve never looked for easy ways. It''s too boring.


    My life has always been simple and dull. Why simplify it even more?


    So I always knocked down my chances to the minimum at every opportunity.


    I''ve never cared about winning or losing. The process itself is much more important.


    Well, also, the pleasure of winning with a scanty probability is much greater.


    ...At this rate, I''m sure I''ll slip into ludomania sooner or later.


    Or maybe I already am.


    Meanwhile, the thirty-fourth hand has begun.


    And, most likely, it will be the last.


    I looked at my watch.


    16:39


    Did two hours fly by so fast?


    When I played with myself, the time went slower.....


    I wonder what this is related to?


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    Chips: 1000 (-4000)


    Hand 34.


    Bet: 500


    It''s going to be 20 + Ace this time.


    I''m sure of it.


    If not, then I''m committing suicide right here.


    As if it''s going to influence you in any way, you''re settled in well, huh.


    Shut up.


    Look carefully. I''m definitely going to win this time.


    ¡ª Am I giving away?


    ¡ª Of course.


    And...


    Two tens. A start has been made.


    Senpai has... an ace.


    Yeah...


    This ace should be mine...


    And it will.


    ¡ª Double it.


    Senpai looked at me in bewilderment and sighed, but still took out the next card.


    It will be an ace. Necessarily.


    Ace.


    Ace.


    Ace.


    ACE!


    And...


    This...


    This is...


    I''m looking at the card in anticipation.


    What took you so long? It''s an ace, right?


    Give it to me already.


    I grab the card.


    ¡ª ...


    This...


    ¡ª Kha...


    A deuce!


    A deuce! A fucking deuce!


    22... that''s too much.


    I lost. Completely.


    This is a direct mockery of my gambling nature!


    ¡ª Kha...


    I''m coughing...


    Looks like...


    I''m dying...


    A-a-a-a-a-a.....


    I just slit my throat with that deuce.


    How could this have happened? Will my story end so shamefully?


    ...Hell no!


    ...


    .......


    ¡ª Looks like I lost.


    ¡ª ¡­


    ¡ª ¡­?


    (She''s in the clouds...)


    Inhales the air. Inhales more... and more¡­


    Eyes closed. Fingers are tapping on the table furiously.


    Clear signs of overexertion. However, she successfully suppressed them, as if by sheer willpower alone. And...


    ¡ª ...That means that you won''t leave the club. Right, Kouhai-kun? ¨C some nervousness remained in her voice, but it was much calmer than he could have been based on her mental state a few seconds ago.


    Why is she paying so much attention to me? Why is she so reluctant to let me leave?


    ¡ª ...There''s no rule about that, isn''t it?


    ¡ª No, but there is a rule that the loser grants the wish of the winner. Look. - Senpai hands me a small piece of paper.


    It''s just a brochure that every club makes when they need new members. This one looks pretty old. There doesn''t seem to be much need for it right now.


    I quickly run my eyes over it and spot the item in question.


    Rule ¡í9. All disputes and disagreements in our club will be settled through games. The loser fulfills any wish of the winner (within reason).


    Ha... looks like I''m in trouble.


    ¡ª And... your wish is for me to stay?


    ¡ª Yes!


    Just this? Such simple request?


    I still don''t know exactly what she''s up to, but...


    ¡ª ...Okay. You win.


    ...But I can''t ask directly.


    Yeah. I''m still an antisocial wimp, incapable of even simple dialogue. And it looks like I''ll be one for the rest of my life.


    Not to say that I was really against this club, it''s just...


    I''m not sure. I just didn''t like crowded places.


    There''s nobody here but Senpai. That''ll probably change tomorrow, but I had a pretty good time tonight. It was fun, I guess. Even if it doesn''t look like it on my perpetually gloomy face.


    Senpai nods and smiles contentedly. She''s achieved her goal. I can only guess what it is.


    Perhaps my sister put her up to it.


    It doesn''t seem impossible. She manages to pull pranks from hundreds of miles away. Even in this situation, I can''t let my guard down.


    Hmph.


    If that''s the case, I''ve already been caught. That means there''s no point in resisting.


    It wasn''t anyway. I don''t think I''ll ever be able to outwit her.


    And it''s still just a guess. Not much important that I think.


    It''s pretty late anyway. It''s time to go home.


    ¡ª But I won''t be able to come every day. So...


    Was it my imagination, or did she just squint suspiciously?


    But when I looked at Senpai again, the face was already normal.


    ¡ª Nothing. It''s a free-to-go club, so it''s okay.


    ¡ª ...Fine then.


    ...Why did I even bother?


    As always, I invented a problem, spent the whole day solving it, and in the end it turned out that there was no problem at all.


    I feel like a complete idiot.


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    ¡ª Are you leaving already? - Senpai spoke with longing in her voice.


    ¡ª I''m already pretty late.


    ¡ª ...Do you have somewhere to be?


    ¡ª Not really, but...


    ¡ª ...So you didn''t like it...?


    ¡ª ¡­


    ¡ª ¡­


    (Don''t look at me like that...)


    ¡ª ...I liked it. - I squeezed it out.


    It''s true. But still, to say it out loud a little... I don''t know.


    That kind of look by her just left no other choice. I mean, after trying so hard to organize, it must hurt to hear the negativity.


    ¡ª ...I''m so glad ... ¨C muttering to herself, Senpai breathed out with relief.


    That''s what I meant.


    (But she''s reacting much more strongly than I thought...)


    Anyway¡­


    ¡ª Well... I guess I''ll go after all. Thanks for... - But when I get up...


    Grabbing the edge of her sleeve, she stops me.


    Blinking, I turn around.


    ¡ª ...You can stay longer ... ¨C Letting go of my sleeve, Senpai puts her hands on my shoulders.


    ¡ª ¡­


    ¡ª...Okay...?


    There''s definetly... something... wrong¡­ here...


    I stifled a yawn.


    ¡ª ...I don''t think I''ll make it through another game. I''m tired...


    That was a bit of a lie. I''m not saying that I need to sleep right now. But this place is too calming on the nerves, so I do feel sleepy.


    No need to overstay her welcome.


    ¡ª But if you want, then... you can sleep right here! ¨C The fingers on my shoulders clenched slightly and the tension left my body.


    (...Can she read minds?)


    ¡ª Here?


    She nods.


    ¡ª ¡­


    (Come to think of it, why the hell should I go home? Nobody''s waiting for me there anyway).


    Besides, tomorrow is Sunday. Which means I don''t have to go anywhere.


    Yes, our school is on Saturday. Not that I care, but five days seems more convenient.


    These sofas... beckoning.


    ¡ª Well, if you don''t mind¡­


    ¡ª ¡­!


    I should have already reached out towards the sleeping place...


    ¡ª W-w-wait!


    ¡ª Hm? What''s wrong?


    A stuttering, downcast-eyed Senpai... A very rare but cute species. She also blushed slightly.


    ¡ª There are no sleeping accessories here, so... you can use my lap!


    ¡ª...What?


    That was... unexpected. So unexpected that my heart involuntarily quickened.


    Lying on a girl''s lap... Such a beautiful girl...


    ¡ª ¡­


    I''m swallowing.


    My head feels so dizzy... I guess I''m really tired.


    ¡ª ¡­


    Ohh. I''m so tired, jeez....


    (I won''t make it home... I''ll fall asleep on the way.)


    I need to lie down very urgently.


    Don''t be silly. You''re just looking for excuses.


    Kh... I can''t argue.


    Without waiting for my answer, Senpai sat down on the sofa and patted her thighs.


    ¡ª This way...~


    Kha!


    Oh-h... head... pressure. Too much blood has arrived to the head.


    I''m just being tempted!


    ¡ª Em... are you sure you''re okay with this? ¨C The most my consciousness could manage was a pathetic negotiating phrase.


    But I still need to make sure that this is not a joke.


    ¡ª Kouhai-kun, if you delay, I will change my mind...


    ¡ª Sorry for the intrusion.


    I lay down, unable to resist those devilish charms.


    ...


    ......


    All worries and anxieties instantly vanished.


    (Is this heaven?)


    What an irony.


    I''ve already updated my idea of ultimate comfort twice today.


    The first time was on the couches, and the second time is right now.


    It feels... just perfect!


    Nothing will change my mind, nothing has ever been invented better than lying on girl''s lap.


    Judge for yourself.


    That softness, that firmness, that warmth. It''s a divine combination.


    I''ve never given much thought to religion, but I doubt that something so perfect could have come about by itself.


    This is definitely the work of a higher entity.


    From here I can smell the shampoo. Senpai definitely takes care of her hygiene, and therefore smells very good.


    In addition... from here, the best view of the center of charm. Swaying with every breath... uhh...


    No, I should rest! Rest, not excitement, damn it!


    I need to close my eyes... and relax.


    It''s so... good...


    I feel the tension leaving my body...


    Even this stupid cold has subsided a bit.


    I can talk for a long time about this excellent sleeping place, but why... if I can just enjoy it...


    Yes... this is the coming of God... he came to reward me for suffering...


    Soon consciousness left me, and I finally fell asleep. Probably for the first time without bad thoughts.

 Chapter 7. Calm

    Part 1


    <hr>


    Unknown ceiling.


    Ah.. right... I fell asleep in the club room today.


    I check my watch.


    21:46


    Oh...


    Looks like I overslept a little.


    For the first time I feel really rested. Finally had something other than that damn nightmare. But I can''t remember what it was, though.


    But it definitely wasn''t a bad dream.


    Lap''s work wonders. Now I seriously want to study their properties in more detail... exclusively for research purposes, of course.


    Although, she probably wasn''t too comfortable... To sit in one position for so long... I''m ashamed a little.


    But it felt good. It felt so damn good.


    ¡ª Mh... ¨C a sleepy snoring was heard from somewhere above.


    Damn, her hands are on my head right now.


    If she''s a light sleeper, then trying to get up will definitely wake her up. And I don''t want that.


    My options?


    Just fall asleep again?


    Sounds perfect.I wouldn''t want to lose a second of this experience.


    (Come on...)


    I close my eyes and try to drift back to the realm of dreams.


    A minute or two passes.


    (It''s no use.)


    I can''t. I''m already completely asleep. If I keep lying like this, sooner or later my body will go numb.


    I''m willing to endure if it keeps Senpai''s peaceful sleep. However...


    If I do that, the whole pleasant experience of lying on her lap will be overwhelmed by some nonsense.


    That is, it won''t be that sublime heavenly feeling that I remember, but only the fact that I endured hours of trying to keep my body in one position. And when I think back, only unpleasant associations will come to mind.


    I can''t let that happen.


    Hmm...


    What is more important?


    A selfish desire to preserve good memories or gratitude to the person who showed you so much care and attention?


    Whatever I choose, the outcome won''t suit me.


    *Pat* *Pat*


    Did she just pat me on the head? In her sleep?


    I feel like a cat. Damn shame.


    I hope nobody saw me.


    Otherwise, my already terrible reputation will fall even lower.


    (I don''t care... I don''t care...)


    ¡ª ...Mm-hmm... Kouhai-kun...


    After this sleepy mumbling, a hand fell on my face.


    ¡ª ...


    (No, I definitely can''t stand it for a few more hours.)


    ...


    To begin with, I''ll take her hand off my face.


    Carefully... gently... no sudden movements...


    That''s it.


    Success.


    There''s a second one left, stroking my hair.


    Let''s repeat the process. Slowly and carefully.


    After a little time, I successfully free myself from the cat''s grip.


    Now comes the hardest part.


    If I just raise my head, Senpai will definitely feel it.


    The option of not lifting my head is unacceptable. The only option left is... lifting my head slowly.


    Sounds stupid, I admit. And it''s not a fact that it will work.


    Okay, let''s try.


    <hr>


    Part 2


    <hr>


    Slowly, huh.


    Fi-i-i-ne...


    Up one centimeter every fifteen seconds. I''ve been counting.


    That''s pretty slow.


    At this rate, I will not finish soon.


    I want to sigh, but I can''t.


    (No, that''s dumb.)


    Let''s get this over with.


    I got up.


    (Did it work?)


    She didn''t wake up, did she?


    I don''t think so.


    Maybe I was worried for nothing?


    I shifted my gaze to Senpai.


    It doesn''t look like anything happened. She''s sleeping...


    Or not?


    After a while, my eyes finally got used to the darkness, and I was able to see more details.


    Her face was slightly wrinkled, while her hands moved convulsively, as if trying to reach for something.


    She''s asleep for now, but if this keeps up, she might wake up.


    (Hm? Is it really...?)


    Need to check it out.


    I put my hand in hers. Immediately, I feel a slight pressure.


    As soon as Senpai received my hand, she immediately calmed down, and her face acquired a serene color.


    ¡ª ...


    I take my hand away.


    Senpai tenses up.


    I put my hand back.


    Senpai calmed down.


    (...Seriously?)


    I don''t even know what to say.


    Up until this point, I still had my doubts. It seemed like this was all a prank that someone had set up to make me look like a fool. Even though I was used to being ridiculed, I didn''t want to fall for it.


    However, now such thoughts look completely out of place.


    (Again.)


    Back and forth.


    ¡ª ...


    (That''s funny.)


    And sweet.


    Hmm..


    One more time...


    Stop bullying the girl.


    (Fine...)


    I''ve get a little carried away.


    In fact, it''s even creepy. She''s sleepwalking...


    She could have accidentally twisted my head...


    (I don''t think so...)


    I''m just too depressed.


    ¡ª ...


    I was planning to just quietly leave, but...


    If I do this now, she won''t sleep well.


    I''ll have to think about it.


    (Maybe any item will do? It doesn''t have to be my arm or my head, right?)


    All that''s left is to find something suitable.


    I''m looking around.


    (Board games?)


    She wouldn''t have joined the club if she wasn''t attracted to its activities. Which means board games could be a good fit...


    (Does it really matter now?)


    Still, there''s nothing else appropriate here.


    There might be some pillows in one of the cupboards, but I don''t feel like rummaging through them.


    A box it is then.


    That''ll do.


    ...


    .....


    However, as soon as I tried to get up from the sofa...


    ¡ª *Poof*


    The support in the form of me disappears, and¡­


    She''s... she''s...


    Falling!


    (Damn!)


    ¡ª ...


    I didn''t have time to react properly. Now Senpai is sleeping almost in an embrace with me.


    (How did it come to this...?)


    She''s too close...


    We''re not in that relationship...


    Shit, shit, shit....


    What to do?


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    It is impossible to get out of her arms without consequences. She''ll definitely wake up.


    ¡ª ...


    Her face is right in front of me. I can even feel her breath on me. So smooth and calm...


    And not long ago she was sleeping wrinkled.


    ...Now that she''s so close, I can see... Senpai is very beautiful. So much so that the breath catches, and the face is covered with red spots.


    ... And what did such a beauty find in me?


    I''ll ruin your reputation, you fool. Doesn''t that bother you?


    The answer was softness in the chest area.


    (What a temptress...)


    Such an answer is not too related to the question, you know...


    But I''ll be fine with that.


    ¡ª ...


    ...What the hell am I doing?


    I''d better go home.


    Sleeping with your palms in the lock is not too comfortable. Sooner or later they will disconnect and it will be possible to surface without problems.


    In the meantime, I''ll just wait.


    (¡­¡­¡­..)


    ¡ª ¡­


    (Somehow... she''s not really planning on letting me go...)


    I hoped that everything would work out by itself, but, alas, my plans are not destined to come true.


    On the other hand, if I had just run away, she would probably either have woken up, or her sleep would have become just disgusting for the rest of the night.


    Neither of which I really want to happen, so .....


    (Should I just lie there and wait...)


    In general, now I''m probably able to survive it.


    Anything is better than being alone in my condition.


    As soon as I leave the club room, I am sure that cold, nightmares, nausea, dizziness, insomnia and paranoia will immediately attack me with renewed vigor.


    I don''t know why, but now, here¡­


    I feel great.


    It was as if life before "all this" had returned for a moment.


    And all this is due to the efforts of the owner of the board games club alone.


    I definitely won''t be able to treat her the way I used to¡­


    <hr>


    Part 3


    <hr>


    That dream again.


    A nightmare that turned my life into hell.


    Time after time plunging me into the events of that ill-fated day.


    I''m not sure, but maybe it''s just a reminder.


    A reminder of what I need to do now.


    And yet I conveniently forget.


    Every time.


    And now is no exception.


    I''ll wake up, shiver a little and... just move on with my life.


    Until I die.


    ...When will this vicious circle finally break?


    ...


    ......


    ..........


    [02.09.12.10]


    Sunday. Day off.


    It just so happens that our school studies on Saturdays.


    There is a myth that there are five-day schools. And who believes in such fairy tales at all? Our school didn''t even make the first of September Saturday a weekend, so what can we say about it at all.


    In any case... nothing interesting is definitely expected today.


    And I don''t need to go anywhere.


    ¡ª So... what should I do?


    I''m looking around my room.


    In general, the most ordinary room. Even a little rustic, considering the tastes of the city and the scale of the house.


    And yet her size did not constrain her at all.


    On the contrary, she was too big for someone like me.


    I have no idea what to do with such a space, but the absolutely empty huge room was depressing, so I had to urgently figure out how to make it more cozy.


    The answer was a hobby.


    But I didn''t have the money for it. Or rather, I didn''t ask for it.


    All that was left was to go to work.


    I have some stories about those times.


    ...But that''s not the point now.


    In general, sooner or later I had savings, which I used to equip the room to my liking.


    I think I even overdid it a little.


    Now an entire wall is occupied by one giant cabinet littered with board games.


    Of course, I picked each one of these games myself.


    Some things were too rare, so it was difficult to get them.


    The full cost of the collection cost me almost a year of everyday work.


    I think I managed to scrape together half a million.


    Although most of it went to the electric mahjong table. I have no idea why I need it. It''s a four-player game. But it looks cool.


    Yes, it seems that I am also part of this city of psychos, since I am so thoughtlessly squandering money.


    (...But I earned them myself, so this is different. Completely different...)


    Apart from this giant wardrobe and mahjong table, there was nothing interesting in the room. A bed and a computer desk.


    This mahjong table is too bulky and does not fit into the overall picture at all.


    ...I should put it somewhere else.


    Although I can''t move it by myself. It''s too heavy and too big.


    And there are shelves. With fertilizers. Two hundredweight.


    What are fertilizers for? That''s right, for gardening.


    The room has access to a terrace in which various kinds of plants grow.


    Most of the work is done in the backyard, which is used as a garden, but it''s not much of work in autumn, so all the fertilizer is brought here.


    I already mentioned, but Mom loves gardening.


    And this love seems to have flowed to me. So it''s become our hobby together.


    It''s soothing. And it doesn''t require talking to other people. Unlike board games. But I still collect them.


    ¡ª ¡­


    I tried to come up with at least some kind of plan, but in the end I just nervously sorted through the boxes while only paranoid thoughts came into my head.


    (It''s no good...)


    Staying at home is not an option.


    The atmosphere here is suffocating.


    (I think I''ll take a walk...)


    I will check the assortment of desktop computers for updates.


    But first I''ll do the flowers.


    <hr>


    Part 4


    <hr>


    I check the train and store schedules.


    All the stores are supposed to be in the shopping district, but the one I needed was in the downtown area for some reason. Yes, near the school.


    Why didn''t I go there right away when there was such a good opportunity, instead going home?


    (I''m not an idiot to carry around a lot of money...)


    The amount that I always have with me is not enough for some kind of conditional super-cool-rare game. Especially considering the prices of this city.


    Which is why going home is a necessity.


    After making sure everything is in order, I pack up and head out.


    ...


    .....


    ...........


    As usual, the train arrived right on time. The ride took about twenty minutes.


    The whole thing took an hour.


    And there I was.


    A shop for games and stuff.


    A simple name.


    (What happened to "board games"?)


    The answer became clear once I was inside.


    (Oh, yes. They''d expanded since my last visit.)


    In addition to board games, there were now video games, as well as books, comics, anime, mangoes, and other.


    (No, mango is not a typo...)


    I don''t know if this kind of change is good or bad. Probably still good, but somehow... the atmosphere is lost?


    There used to be a separate place where it was possible to play. Now it''s full of shelves full of video games.


    So it''s really a store now.


    ¡ª Wow, look who came to us! Look, everyone!


    ¡ª ...


    And the salesman hasn''t changed, the same annoying jerk.


    He''s a chatterbox, always prying into other people''s private lives. I''ve usually tried to ignore him, but I can''t say it''s worked.


    Maybe if I let him know that I''m a very ordinary person, he''ll let go?


    I don''t think a person''s personality matters to this guy. He''s just looking for someone to talk to.


    ¡ª ...


    No, don''t look at it that way.


    I''ve decided to be more open-minded, aren''t I? Maybe I should start with him?


    I don''t really like the idea of talking to him of all people, but, uh, okay. I''ll give it a try.


    ¡ª Ah, there''s no one here anyway. Okay, have you come to buy up our entire assortment again, rich boy?


    ¡ª That money was my annual earnings...


    ¡ª Ho, is that so? He looks startled. ¡ª Then I''m sorry, hard workers go ahead!


    He grinned crookedly, then swayed slightly in his chair and continued:


    ¡ª But I''m surprised our best customer decided to talk after all.


    (Is it really that unusual? Why is everyone telling me this?)


    Damn, I feel out of place. How closed off have I been to have even the salesman tell me this?


    (It''s not too late to change, it''s not too late...)


    ¡ª So, before you shut up again, tell me your name.


    My name?


    What''s he up to?


    Or am I too suspicious and there''s nothing wrong with it?


    ¡ª Katsuragi.


    ¡ª Huh, Katsuragi? Not Keima by any chance?


    Very funny.


    ¡ª No, Akuta.


    ¡ª Ahhh, that''s it... Azusagawa Sakuta, huh? That explains your closeness. I''m sorry for bothering you.


    ¡ª No, it''s not... Katsuragi Akuta.


    ¡ª Don''t get so upset. I understand. Azusagawa Keima, right? Wait a bit, I have something to do.


    ¡ª ...


    (It doesn''t same at all...)


    Damn, I decided to talk is called.


    Next time I will pick up a person better.


    After a while he comes with a small ladder.


    (Where did he go?)


    I look up and see... a poster with my face on it?


    ¡ª What the...


    Above the poster is the inscription:


    "Our best customer."


    And under it there is a specially allocated place. And this guy was writing something on it right now.


    It is written in large letters in calligraphic handwriting:


    AZUSAGAWA KEIMA


    ¡ª ...THIS IS NOT MY NAME! And what the hell is my face hanging out here?!


    ¡ª Eh? I can''t hear from here, wait, I''ll be right down.


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª One more time.


    ¡ª ...Is it legal to put up posters of people''s faces without their consent?


    ¡ª But you gave your consent. And there is a signature too.


    ¡ª I don''t remember that...


    ¡ª If the receipt is still there, then look there. A small clause in somewhere down the list.


    (Oh, you fucking...)


    Did they really put a face-placement clause in there? That''s terrible.


    If he''s telling the truth, then I won''t do anything about it...


    ¡ª But it''s still not my name...


    ¡ª Eh? But you said it yourself. ¨C The guy looked lost.


    ¡ª No. Katsuragi Akuta.


    ¡ª Really? I thought it was a pun. And you look like a mix of those two guys... Okay, I''m sorry again. Although no, I''m not sorry. But I''ll fix the inscription now.


    ...


    ......


    AZUSAGAWA KEIMA


    KATSURAGI (S)AKUTA


    (Wipe out the parentheses...)


    ¡ª So what''s the point of this poster?


    ¡ª What''s what? You''re our best customer! I myself remember how you bought 497,000 yen from us in one fell swoop! To say that I was fucking surprised then is to say nothing. Thanks to your purchase, I became employee of the month and earned a promotion.


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª That''s a kind of gratitude. If you don''t like it, I''ll take it down.


    This guy... doesn''t look grateful at all. I think he''s just messing with me. Just for fun.


    Although, if that''s the case...


    It turns out that I helped a person... I can''t say it''s unpleasant.


    But to put up a poster with my face... that''s a little too much...


    ¡ª I don''t care, you can keep it.


    ¡ª Okay. And about the name... I tried to ask you, but you wouldn''t answer, so... well, it wasn''t listed anywhere else, I had to leave it blank.


    Okay, so it''s my insularity again. As usual.


    So I became a kind of celebrity in the local store.


    Although, I became it a long time ago, but I only found out about it now.


    What you don''t learn about yourself in the most unexpected places...


    (I want to believe that no one except me from school comes here ...)


    Because if they does¡­


    (I''m feeling a little sick...)


    <hr>


    Part 5


    <hr>


    ¡ª So I hope you''re back here to buy up our entire product line and make me employee of the month. Otherwise, get out.


    (That''s fucking gratitude...)


    He''s fucking kidding me. Fucking asshole.


    ¡ª Relax, I''m kidding. I don''t think we have any board games for you. But you can try your luck in other departments.


    ¡ª For example?


    ¡ª Video games, ranobe and manga. I can recommend some if you need them. Check it out.


    (Hmm?)


    ¡ª That''s, uh...


    ¡ª That''s right. Collector''s Edition, by the way.


    ¡ª That''s not what I mean. This is eroge...


    ¡ª No, no! Not eroge, but a visual novel! Please do not confuse.


    ¡ª There are half-naked anime girls on the cover here. Eroge is eroge.


    ¡ª Don''t judge a book by its cover. This is a very interesting and beautiful story about friendship and betrayal...


    ¡ª Does a board game store sell this?


    ¡ª No, I brought it from home.


    (...He''s definitely mocking me.)


    ¡ª ...And you''re offering me to buy it?


    ¡ª That''s right.


    ¡ª I''ll pass.


    ¡ª Kh... and I tried so hard with the choice... You know, it''s very difficult for a beginner to find the right eroge. It''s a big responsibility.


    (Really?)


    ¡ª I see doubt in your eyes¡­


    ¡ª Your eyesight does not fail you¡­ Why bring eroge to work?


    ¡ª To play. There aren''t many customers anyway.


    ¡ª ...A big responsibility, hmm...


    He means the genre or...


    ¡ª Yeah! I see interest in the look! Look, giving an unsuspecting person an eroge with a tentaclerape is not the good idea, don''t you think?


    ¡ª ...Well, probably...


    I don''t know what to say.


    (Tentacle... rape? A rape by tentacles?)


    It doesn''t sound unerotic, it sounds disgusting.


    ¡ª It could end up being mentally traumatizing. He might even have nightmares about tentacles. And when he wakes up from the nightmare, he''ll find that he''s turned into a giant dick.


    ¡ª ...


    ¡ª So it''s really difficult... The first eroge is important, just like the first time in sex.


    Where am I? Why did the conversation turn this way? Is this how it''s supposed to be?


    ¡ª So you didn''t come for the eroge. Hmm... Let me see... Are you sure you didn''t come for eroge? They''ve been doing some good things lately. The storyline and script are excellent!


    ¡ª N o.


    ¡ª Fi-i-i-i-i-ne. But if anything, don''t be shy.


    Nodding obediently, he came out from behind the counter and began to walk around the store with a thoughtful look, looking for various options.


    (Apparently, there are no new board games in sight today... My collection was crying...)


    I sighed and followed him.


    ¡ª Oh! How about this? ¨C The guy hands me a box with a disc.


    Dark Souls.


    ¡ª What is it?


    ¡ª Video game.


    ¡ª I see. What''s it about?


    ¡ª For hardcore gamers.


    ¡ª ...Fucking loving hardcore.


    No kidding. Challenging games are the best. What''s the point of playing a game if it doesn''t bother you? There are many other things for recreation.


    And in general, there are not so many games that can really relax. If you think about it... then I do not know any.


    Games are designed to kill time ¨C calming the soul is not included in their area of influence.


    ¡ª I can tell by you.


    This conversation is more like some kind of battle.


    ¡ª How hardcore...?


    ¡ª Hard enough.


    ¡ª Well, if you lying...


    (If it really is as hardcore as this guy says, I should definitely play it. Although it''s doubtful if I believe him).


    ¡ª So you''ll take it?


    ¡ª How much for me?


    ¡ª Standard. £¤1999.


    (And the discount was not delivered to the best buyer. What''s the use of this status ...)


    I put two bills on the table.


    ¡ª Sold. Anything else?


    ¡ª Hmm...


    ¡ª Maybe books? You can look through it right here, it''s okay. In the meantime, I''ll go back behind the counter.


    And he left. And then he turned on the TV.


    He somehow manages to be both an arrogant wit and a caring serious guy with good manners.


    Damn magic.


    Anyway, he seems to be bored with me. And I''m a little tired too, to be honest.


    Books, then...


    ...


    .......


    ...........


    ..............


    ....................


    ...........................


    ...................................


    I''ve been sitting here for a while now.


    It definitely worked out to load my head with something so as not to go crazy to hell, but no new ideas came.


    (This is bad... my time supply is limited...)


    (And the physical condition seems to have dropped a few points...)


    And it definitely won''t get any better from now on.


    On the other hand... it can be used.


    To some extent, the desire to return health to normal can be considered an increase in motivation. This should be enough to overcome myself and finally talk to the Class Rep.


    (Strangely enough, everything else isn''t enough...).


    I''m so disgusting in my shyness¡­


    I can''t even remember when I managed to become like this...


    ¡ª Ahem¡­


    The salesman was watching the evening news with a bored look.


    (Is it that late already?)


    Trains should be running at this hour, but if I''m late, I''ll be risking a ten-kilometer hike through the mountains at night.


    It''s time to wrap up.


    ¡ª ...Another murder. Mgm...


    (...Huh...?)


    Thinking processes stop.


    ¡ª Look, Katsuragi, it''s a schoolgirl this time. She''s about your age too.


    ¡ª What?


    ¡ª Well, schoolgirl.


    ¡ª What schoolgirl.


    ¡ª Murdered, that''s what.


    ¡ª ...Murdered whom?


    ¡ª Schoolgirl.


    ¡ª ¡­!


    Drowsiness takes off, I immediately rush to the checkout.


    [¡ª The body of a minor with multiple stab wounds was found this afternoon. Police are still investigating the details of the incident...]


    [¡ª This is not the first case... Last year...]


    [¡ª A strange series of murders... ...A maniac has appeared in the city?...]


    Similar messages flashed on all news channels.


    (What the...)


    It''s too early...


    Shouldn''t I have at least two more weeks left?


    Two weeks...


    ¡ª But here''s the strange thing... there''s never been such a bloody mess before. All the victims died in their sleep. Maybe this case does not belong to the ''Sandman'', hmmm...? - The salesman shook his head.


    I don''t know what he''s talking about.


    It''s not up to this guy right now.


    ¡ª M? Why are you so pale? Is that little girl your friend?


    ¡ª ...


    Damn...


    ...


    ..........


    No, no, no, no.....


    Calm down. Nothing is known yet. Maybe it''s someone else.


    Someone else...


    Yes, that''s right.


    You can''t panic ahead of time.


    Calm down. Calm down.


    Take it easy!


    ...


    I can''t calm down!


    It''s the 20th! The fucking 20th! I''m supposed to have twenty more days! So why?!


    Today is the 2th! The 2th, damn you!


    Is it legal to cut off so much time at all?!


    What will I do in two days?!


    This...


    ...Total asshole.


    I''m totally fucked.


    ¡ª ...I need to go...


    ¡ª Ah... yeah. Have a good evening.


    He was trying to say something else, but... I''m not up to it right now.


    I need to get back. And now.


    .........


    ..............


    .......................


    .................................


    .............................................


    ...............................................................


    The rest of the day became unbearable torture.