《Escape from Purgatory - Highland》 Doctors order The last thing I remember was climbing the stairs to my third-floor office. My new physician, a young woman with suspiciously inflated lips, had insisted that I needed to exercise more, to shed some weight. ''Take the stairs, it''s good for you,'' she said. I was 95 percent sure she had just killed me. I remembered feeling tired, pushing through up the flight of stairs, then the insane chest pressure, then blackness, then¡­.this? I was laying on my back, surrounded by lush grass and colorful strange flowers. Birds serenaded from above and the sun''s warmth caressed my skin. Normal, in many ways, hadn¡¯t it been for the fact it was winter when I woke up that morning. Oh, and the two twin moons dominating the sky. I sat up and looked around, noticing I was sitting in the exact middle of a circular clearing. Ringing me were identical-looking pine trees, unnaturally symmetrical as if they were planted with surgical precision, even the boles had the same heights. There was only one logical explanation. I was dead. Kaput. Expired. Checked out. I stood up and looked around, feeling good, way too good¡­. None of the normal back, neck, head, and joint pains I¡¯d gotten used to in my fifties. Everything was clearer and more vibrant as if I was inside a colorful children¡¯s book. Glancing down, I was surprised to see that the ground seemed closer than normal. A sizable belly obstructed my line of sight - that in itself wasn''t unusual. The startling part, however, was the long, intricately braided beard resting on it. My hands looked enormous, calloused, with fingers as thick as sausages, cloaked in dark brown hair and ending in thick yellow nails. It was a sight that catapulted me into full panic mode for the first time, but certainly not the last. I attempted to scream and run in a random direction, but my feet felt as though they were encased in huge blocks of concrete. So, I defaulted to the next best thing during a panic attack: I began to hyperventilate. I would have given anything for a brown paper bag to breathe into at that moment. Why was I still capable of getting tired if I was dead? And what on earth had happened to my body? A mirror or anything with a reflective surface was urgently needed. Standing there, panting heavily, drenched in sweat, and emanating a smell that suggested something had died, I tried to remember what I''d learned from the only Yoga class I had ever attended. Inhale deeply through the nose, draw the breath all the way down into the belly, and slowly exhale through the mouth. Once I had the panic under control, I surveyed my surroundings again. Directly in front of me was an opening in the forest, a dirt path leading away from the meadow. Why hadn¡¯t I seen it earlier? I started hauling my heavy feet through the dense woodland. The road, like the trees, was perfectly symmetrical, and it looked as if I was the first man - or whatever I had waken up as - to walk it, another thing that didn¡¯t make sense. I had to be dead. In my mind, I painted a picture of St. Peter stationed up the road behind his lectern, ready to cast judgment on the newly deceased. I kept walking, but no gates appeared. Nothing changed. It was as if I was on a treadmill, remaining stationary despite my steps. The landscape, the trees, the road - everything seemed to loop continuously, like an eerily silent, unchanging conveyor belt. ¡°Hay there!¡± A voice boomed ahead, startling me out of the mundane walking. Besides a small cart, like the ones horses used to pull back in the ol¡¯ days, stood a crooked man, dressed in a cape and a pointy hat. I couldn¡¯t see any horse. ¡°Here, here, come, come!¡± The man said with a surprisingly deep voice that didn¡¯t match his small frame, waving me forward. I hesitantly approached the old man, who looked like a Cosplayer lost in the forest. ¡°Eh, hi?¡± I said and reached out my hand to greet him. The old man jumped back and raised both his arms. ¡°No! Please, I am a friend,¡± he said, staring at my outstretched hand with wide-open eyes. I mirrored the old man and put my hands up. ¡°Sorry, I just wanted to greet you.¡± Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Greetings we did, younglings. No reason to present me the combat hand.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± I started but changed my mind. ¡°... I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No worries, no worries. Please, sit down on this log with me. I will make you some hot delicious tea.¡± I did as told and sat down on the log that was strangely clean, and also the only fallen tree I had seen; almost as if it was placed there for me to sit on, like I was in a huge theater set. I suddenly got a flashback to the movie Bruce Almighty. ¡°Do you know where you''re at, youngling?¡± The strange man asked when he handed me a wooded cup with green liquid that smelled like death. ¡°Tim, please,¡± I said. ¡°No, there''s not such a place in Highland,¡± the old man said, grinning. ¡°Tim is my name, not Youngling.¡± I was starting to get annoyed with the stranger sitting next to me. ¡°And why am I in Scotland?¡± ¡°Scotland? No, Mr. Tim. This is Highland. And I am Merlin.¡± I stood up and smiled at him. ¡°Let me guess, you are a wizard?¡± ¡°How did you know? Are you a wizard too?¡± ¡°Is this some intricate practical joke?¡± I looked around, waiting to see some familiar faces jumping out from behind the trees, laughing their pants off. ¡°Kidding? No, I am certainly not. This is nothing to joke about.¡± I opened my mouth to say something but shut it again. ¡°Mr. Tim, I know this is new and strange to you, but if you let me, I will tell you why you are here, and your purpose in this lovely land. But first, take a sip of the drink, it¡¯s good for you.¡± I did as he said and took a sip, somehow trusting this man claiming to be a wizard. The tea tasted a mix of motor oil and manure, or at least what I imagined that combination would taste like. Then an intense and sudden warmth spread through my body, washing away any fatigue I had felt after the long walk. ¡°Thanks. What is it?¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s a drink of energy,¡± Merlin said. It didn¡¯t taste remotely like Battery or Monster, but I did feel more energized. ¡°Do you have a mirror,¡± I asked. ¡°Yes, indeed. But before I present you with yourself, I need to tell you something that will dampen the shock. OK?¡± ¡°Shock?¡± ¡°Yes, please humor me, Mr. Tim.¡± I shrugged. ¡°Only Tim...¡± ¡°Good. As I told you, this is Highland. The first area of Purgatory. A place between your earthly self and the final destination. Look at Purgatory as your final test, Mr. Tim. There is no wrong outcome, but if you want to return to the earthly life you have to beat¡­¡± He looked around before he came closer, so close that I could smell his horrible breath through my own dead-body-odor, and whispered ¡°The Harbinger of Eternal Doom.¡± He said the name as if it was written in bold. Like someone talking about Thanatos or Voldemort. ¡°So I have to beat someone to come back to life?¡± ¡°Yes, Mr. Tim.¡± ¡°Great! Show me where he is so I can kick his ass and return home!¡± ¡°HA HA HA, no no no, you wouldn¡¯t last a fraction of a second, Mr. Tim. You are not nearly the same level as HIM.¡± ¡°HIM?¡± ¡°Yes..¡± He came close again and whispered ¡°¡­The Harbinger of Eternal Doom.¡± ¡°OK? So what do I have to do to beat HIM?¡± ¡°I cannot tell you that. What I can tell you is how to survive in the Highlands.¡± ¡°OK? And when can I go to HIM?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, but you have to be at a much higher level.¡± ¡°So this is kinda like an RPG?¡± ¡°An arpegee? I am afraid I don¡¯t know this word, Mr. Tim.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a Role playin.. You know what? Let me guess, you have a quest for me?¡± ¡°Yes! Indeed I have Mr. Tim! You are a smart youngling. I do have a quest for you. It¡¯s not a dangerous quest, but it¡¯s in many ways the most important quest you will ever undertake. Here, take this.¡± Merlin gave me an empty brown satchel, like the ones they used in old Western movies, strapped to horses. ¡°This is yours to keep now. In itself, it does no good. It¡¯s a carrier of fluid, and the most important fluid in Highland is..¡± ¡°Water!¡± I hollered. ¡°No, Mr. Tim. Please let me finish. The most important fluid is aqua-vita. It will heal your wounds, return your stamina and make you feel stronger.¡± ¡°So it¡¯s a healing potion?¡± ¡°Yes, indeed, it will heal you. But to make it, I need you to gather flowers called Vitum. You will only find them in lush biomes.¡± Merlin bent down next to the log and pulled a red flower looking very much like a tulip. I remembered seeing it in the clearing where I woke up. ¡°Here, take this, Mr. Tim. But you need more. To make aqua-vita you need to mix ten of these together with water. ¡°So this is a gathering quest?¡± ¡°Yes indeed. A quest to gather the Vitum flower. It¡¯s all around us, so you shouldn¡¯t have to wander far.¡± I looked at Merlin for a long time. This was probably the result of me lying in a coma at some random hospital because of my bad insurance, having spent too much of my life playing role-playing games online, and devouring unhealthy food. ¡°OK, I accept the quest!¡± I said and shot my hand toward Merlin again. Merlin screamed and stumbled over the log, falling on his back, only his sandals sticking up. ¡°Sorry! I¡­It¡¯s a way of greeting we do back on earth.¡± I said and helped him up. ¡°It¡¯s OK. I am fine, Mr. Tim. But please remember that you are not on Earth anymore. There are other rules here, and the most important rule is that if you die, you will go to your final resting place. ¡°Heaven?¡± ¡°I am not a judge of that, Mr. Tim. But since you are here, there are probably reasons for it, and I would recommend trying your best to survive for as long as you can.¡± ¡°So this is hardcore?¡± ¡°Hard core, like this?¡± Merlin said and knocked his slim fingers on the log. ¡°No¡­OK. I am going to pluck some flowers now!¡± ¡°Before you do, you need this,¡± Merlin said and gave me a long wooden stave. ¡°This is only to protect yourself on the rare occasion you are attacked. But if you don¡¯t wander too far off, these forests don¡¯t have any enemies. But do not attack any living creatures you see, you are still too weak to fight.¡± ¡°OK, I understand, that¡¯s the next quest, right?¡± ¡°No. The next quest is¡­ Well, I cannot tell you the next quest until you have successfully completed this. Now, off you go. I will be standing here, waiting for your return.¡± Lesson One: Do Not Poke It!
In no time, I''d plucked the remaining nine Vitums, stashed the flowers in the old leather rucksack Merlin lend me, and set off back to the odd wizard. That''s when I saw the black boar, partially concealed behind a tree. Merlin''s warning about me not being ready to fight echoed in my head, but I did have the stave, and the boar didn''t look scary at all, and boars were always one of the weakest creatures in RPG beginner areas. I slinked up to the creature, but it didn¡¯t seem bothered by the Dwarf clumsily skulking towards it with a stick. It just stood there, its blank black eyes trained on me, a yellow shimmer enveloping it. I knew from my gaming experience that the yellow indicated neutrality - it was neither friend nor foe. Then I poked it with my stave. And Instantly I knew I''d made a mistake. The once yellow shimmer transformed to a menacing blood-red as the boar lunged at me. I recoiled, hitting it with my stave as hard as I could. Above the boar, a health bar materialized. ¡°You have to be kidding me!¡± I yelled and started to run. The bar hadn¡¯t budged, and the boar was now angry, for real. It didn¡¯t take long until it caught up with me and bit my ass. In all the online RPGs I had played over the years, the only pain I¡¯d felt was in my ego and perhaps the occasional bruised knuckle from a frustrated slam on the table. In the ¡°real¡± world, being bitten by a boar was as real as excruciating. The first bite tinted my vision a cautionary yellow. The second, an alarming orange. The third, my world pulsed an ominous red. I knew I wouldn¡¯t survive a fourth and I could hear the boar closing in, its heavy snorts echoing in my ears, gearing up for what I assumed was the killing bite. Then there was a deafening sound immediately followed by a bright light that blinded me. Running without seeing didn¡¯t go well, and after a couple of steps, I tripped and fell. I immediately curled up, shut my eyes, and prepared for the final blow. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. But it never came. Opening my eyes, I found Merlin''s familiar figure towering over me. ¡°What... What happened?¡± I stammered, attempting to regain my footing. ¡°You nearly died. While picking flowers. That was a first,¡± Merlin said, his voice laced with sarcasm as he extended a hand toward me. Ignoring his offer, I managed to get back on my feet on my own and cast a glance at the now-lifeless boar lying about ten feet away. ¡°How?¡± ¡°Lightning Bolt.¡± ¡°Can you teach me?¡± ¡°No. Did you gather the Vitum?¡± Merlin asked, setting off again. ¡°Yes,¡± I said, hobbling after him with a painful wince as my rear end throbbed. ¡°Then make a potion from it. You need it urgently.¡± ¡°How?¡± ¡°Have you forgotten the quest already?¡± ¡°Uhm, no?¡± ¡°Good. Then hurry up.¡± I grabbed the flowers from the backpack, studying them carefully. I remembered he''d said to mix them with water, and something else¡­The pulsating red vision and searing pain clouded my thinking. Grind! I found a rock and knelt in front of it, beginning the laborious process of grinding the flowers against it with my bare hands. It seemed to take forever. By the time I was working on the fourth flower, Merlin handed me a wooden bowl with a thick stick ¨C a grinder. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you give it to me at once?¡± I said, teeth gritted in frustration. ¡°You never asked.¡± I responded with an exasperated shake of my head, depositing the flowers in the grinder and getting back to work. When I was done I looked at Merlin again. ¡°I need water.¡± ¡°Yes, you do.¡± ¡°Do you have some?¡± ¡°Yes, I do.¡± ¡°C¡¯mon Merlin. Do I really have to ask?¡± Merlin just stared at me with a blank expression. ¡°Fine... Merlin, may I please have some water to make my fudging potion?¡± ¡°Potion?¡± ¡°Aquavita! Can I get some fricking water to make my stupid Aquavita!!¡± I felt my face heat up. If dwarfs could even blush. ¡°Certainly, Mr. Tim, here you go,¡± Merlin pulled another satchel from his robe and handed it to me. Without waiting for Merlin''s approval, I combined the water and the ground Vitum in my newfound satchel and quickly drank the mixture. The escalating pain was becoming unbearable. It didn¡¯t take many seconds until a warm, comforting sensation spread across my buttock. I felt better but not as good as earlier; my vision still had a yellowish hue. ¡°You aren''t completely healed,¡± Merlin said, walking over to the log and cart where a fireplace suddenly had appeared. He lighted it effortlessly with a simple touch of his index finger. He was indeed a wizard, and I found myself yearning to master such abilities - ignite fires with my finger and shoot lightning at boars - my newfound nemesis. ¡°Sit here, next to the fire. The fire will gradually heal you, but much slower than the Aquavita elixir.¡± Grateful for the odd, archaic-speaking man, I did as he instructed. ¡°Once you''re feeling better, come see me back at the log. I have a new quest for you. But you need to be at full health for this one,¡± he said, moving only a couple of feet before seating himself next to me on the log. The Grey Forest
Yet, there was a silver lining, or rather a flaming red one. My face had a thick, luscious beard that matched the long mane cascading down my back. It was a sight to behold, especially considering I hadn''t seen a hair on my head since in my late twenties. ¡°This is for you, Mr. Tim, for completing your very first quest.¡± Merlin handed me an old parchment roll, sealed with red wax. It couldn¡¯t be more clich¨¦, but then again, clich¨¦ was my ¡°life¡± now. I ripped it open and started reading, and immediately a weird stirring flushed through my body: Congratulations! You have succeeded in your first quest and achieved a new level. You are now a level two Bard of the Highland Clan! Your new level has granted you your initial cantrip: Vicious Mockery. In order to cast Vicious Mockery, you must concentrate on the foe you wish to strike and verbally deliver a scathing insult. This will inflict 5 points of physical damage, and can only be cast once every twenty-fifth inhale. ¡°A Bard!? I''m a bard? Why? Dwarfs are typically warriors or barbarians, and occasionally they''re druids. But bards?!!!¡± I found myself standing nose to nose with Merlin, my fists clenched and my jaw set so rigidly that I could feel my teeth biting into my gums ¡°I fail to understand your distress, Mr. Tim. You are what you are. Bards are one of the most versatile professions, and if you play your tunes correctly, you may be very powerful. Not as powerful as me, of course, but I am a mage.¡± Merlin said proudly and raised both hands in a grandiose gesture. ¡°Can I change?¡± ¡°Change who you are? No, Mr. Tim. You have to embrace your destiny. Be you!¡± If this turned out to be part of my imagination, and I somehow woke up from this nightmare, I seriously needed to ease down on cliches. I sat down heavily on the log and looked up at Merlin. ¡°What now?¡± I was feeling terrible, almost wishing the boar had finished me off. At least then I would have died not knowing I was a¡­ bard. ¡°Well, a new quest! You must learn to master your newfound spell the Vicious Mockery. Please, accompany me.¡± Merlin reached for the cart, pulling it down the road. I trailed behind, pushing it from the rear. "Thank you, Mr. Tim, but conserve your energy. I''m not as frail as my appearance might suggest, and we will arrive soon." Soon had to mean something completely different in this world. After walking for what felt like hours, the lush green forest ended and was immediately followed by a forest that looked like the aftermath of a devastating forest fire. Merlin halted just within the border of this new, stark forest. "This is the Grey Forest, scarred by HIM many centuries ago," Merlin began, his voice somber. "It''s a forest teeming with fierce and terrifying creatures. The road provides a safe passage, protected by a spell cast by Blaise, the great warlock. But should you stray from this path, you''ll find yourself at the mercy of beasts eager to harm you." Merlin stood taller, his eyes narrowing. "This is where your next quest will take place," he declared, setting the cart down. And sure enough, there was a log there as well, a charred one. ¡°Please, follow me,¡± Merlin said and started to walk into the woods, off the protected path. There was an eerie feeling in there, making me clinch the stave. If I couldn¡¯t even hurt a boar in the starting area, how could I fight any creatures in the Grey Forest? Just as I decided to turn around and grind the beginner¡¯s area until I was much stronger, Merling stopped and turned toward me. ¡°Do you see that grey wolf?¡± he whispered and pointed at a wolf standing fifty(ish) yards away, drinking water from a small pond. It pricked up its ears and looked around, but didn¡¯t seem to notice us. My imagination had conjured up some insane creatures living in there, and when I saw the wolf I relaxed a little, it wasn¡¯t a two-headed troll, a Dragon, Cthulhu, The Kraken, Balrog, or any creature with the adjective GIANT in front of them. It was a normal-looking wolf that didn¡¯t look much bigger than the boar I had faced off against in the green forest. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I whispered, afraid that it would hear me. ¡°I want to you attack it with your spell.¡± I turned towards Merlin and made big eyes, well, I tried to make big eyes but didn¡¯t know if Dwarfs even could pull it off. ¡°How? I can¡¯t see any button or anything to press¡­¡± ¡°Button?¡± Merlin echoed, perfecting the surprised look I had been going for a moment earlier. ¡°Yes, a spell icon or something!¡± I said, forgetting to whisper. The wolf raised its head, and I immediately dropped to the ground. Merlin looked down at me with a puzzled impression. ¡°I¡¯m having a hard time understanding you sometimes, Mr. Tim. To cast the spell Vicious Mockery, you only have to mock the enemy. Now, stand up and mock it!¡± I stood up, looked at Merlin, then at the wolf, back at Merlin before I shook my head, took a deep breath, and shouted: ¡°Hey you! You are a filthy wolf!¡± "Was that your attempt at mockery?" Merlin said as the wolf started advancing towards us, teeth bared. ¡°You merely stated a fact. It would be akin to me saying you''re a smelly dwarf. You must truly mock it for the spell to take effect.¡± As the wolf quickened its pace, I hyperventilated until I was at the twenty-fifth count and yelled in desperation, ¡°You''re a¡­a¡­jerk!¡± Merlin shook his head, a bewildered look on his face. ¡°How does that count as mockery? You''re in dire need of help.¡± Merlin leaned in, whispering something into my ear. I looked at him with the universal look of ¨C for real! Merlin grinned and nodded. ¡°I have seen more threatening geckos,¡± I muttered after pulling another twenty-five rapid breaths, feeling lightheaded. To my surprise, the wolf seemed to convulse as if hit by an invisible force, and a health bar materializing above it indicated the spell had inflicted substantial damage - half its health! The sheer power of the spell stunned me, and a proud grin began to form on my face. However, my triumph was short-lived as I realized that my successful attack had provoked the wolf. It was now charging at me full tilt, and with each step, the bigger it grew. ¡°Get ready, Mr. Tim,¡± Merlin said, and for the first time, he sounded excited. ¡°Give me another one, quick!¡± I pleaded, retreating backward. ¡°There''s no time. You will have to use your weapon!¡± The wolf was almost upon us and Merlin shouted ¡°Stand your ground!¡± As if I was Gandalf the fricking White. When the wolf jumped I closed my eyes and swung the stave as hard as I could. I felt the wooden stick hit something, waiting for the inevitable pain when the wolf latched itself onto me, but nothing happened, and no teeth were lodged into my neck, so I took my chances and opened my eyes. Just in time to see the wolf scurrying away, its health bar almost depleted. ¡°H..how? I couldn¡¯t even hit the boar, how could I damage that huge wolf?¡± I said and looked at Merlin with a baffled expression. ¡°The boar was ten levels higher than the wolf. And remember that you just leveled up. You are much stronger than before.¡± Merlin put a hand on my shoulder. ¡°Remember this lesson, Mr. Tim. You have to use your spells cleverly, and always be ready to enter close-quarter combat. Luckily the Bard is adept at both melee and magic. But you do need a better weapon.¡± I looked down at the stave, or what was left of it, reduced to a stick half the length, the other part laying on the ground. I nodded at Merlin and smiled, that was the most sense he¡¯d made all day. ¡°How can I get a new weapon?¡± I asked. ¡°That¡¯s the second part of the quest, Mr. Tim. Do you see the hill over there?¡± Merlin pointed at a hill that looked more like a mound from the Hobbit film, except there was no grass on it, just dirt and a handful of what could only be called ¡®post-apocalyptic chic¡¯ trees. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Inside that hill is a dungeon. And in the dungeon is a rapier that fits you perfectly.¡± I eyed the hill and then Merlin, ¡°Wait a minute, I¡¯m a dwarf and you want me to wield a rapier!? Can''t I swing around a proper big chonker, like a claymore or something?¡± ¡°Well, indeed you can, but you are not proficient with that kind of weapon. Your best weapons of choice are a rapier, dual short blades, or a bow. Trust me, Mr. Tim, the rapier is a fierce weapon.¡± Well, not fierce-looking that¡¯s for sure, having the intimidation factor of a toothpick, but everything was better than the busted twig I was holding. Plus, the idea of trying out some legit dungeoneering, real, gritty RPG stuff, was pretty thrilling. ¡°OK. I¡¯m ready. Shall we go?¡± ¡°No, Mr. Tim. This one you have to do by yourself. I will wait for you back at the cart. Here take this.¡± Merlin gave me two satchels. Only two health potions for my first solo? ¡°Uhm, OK? But, can you write down a couple of insults for me?¡± ¡°No, you possess all the necessary tools within you. However, remember that an insult must be relevant. For instance...¡± Merlin leaned in, whispering something in my ear. I couldn''t help but burst into laughter. It was indeed a good one. Feeling slightly more confident, I ventured toward the hill. When I got closer I saw that the dungeon entrance was a reused mining shaft... Of course, it was. I stepped inside, taking a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. A clattering sound filled the space, overlayed with indistinct chatter I didn¡¯t understand. The potent smell of phosphorus filled the air, and I had to suppress the urge to vomit. Treading cautiously deeper into the cave, I neared the first bend of the mining shaft where I spotted a massive silhouette etched against the rocky wall. I had been hoping for something easier to tackle, perhaps kobolds. I stopped and considered running back out to get Merlin when the silhouette started moving, growing with each step until a figure turned to the corner and locked eyes with me. I smiled and drew a breath as the kobold pulled out two pointy knives and ran toward me, shrieking so loud that I had to fight an urge to cover my ears.
My First Dungeon
Acting on the adage that the best defense is a good offense, I screamed and struck the first kobold squarely on the head with my broken staff. The forceful blow diminished half of his life. Out of the corner of my eye, I detected a sudden movement, then felt something pricking my lower back. Swiveling, I saw the second kobold standing before me, wielding a tiny sword no larger than an oversized toothpick. His massive eyes looked at his sword in disbelief. I traced my hand over the spot he had stabbed me, only to find unbroken skin. Breathing a sigh of relief, I was thankful that I hadn''t woken up in the delicate skin of a halfling, or, heavens forbid, a flimsy human. I struck out thrice more, and in seconds, the trio of kobolds lay lifeless at my feet among the grime of the cavern floor. My vision remained colorless, so I decided to hold off on the healing potions. Then, just as suddenly as the battle had escalated, the kobold bodies vanished, leaving behind a gratifying sight ¨C loot. In the heat of the moment, I''d almost forgotten about that best part of any RPG. Each kobold had been generous enough to leave behind a small pile of coins. And coins could only mean one thing: there had to be a vendor somewhere. And where there''s vendors, there''s bound to be cool stuff. I swiftly picked up the scattered loot, a mix of coins, rough scraps of leather, and a small satchel containing what smelled suspiciously like a healing potion. The pi¨¨ce de r¨¦sistance was the helmet that one of them had dropped. With a mix of apprehension and hope, I tried it on, and to my surprise and delight, it fit perfectly. Giving an affirmative nod to myself, I delved deeper into the dank dungeon. The next foe I encountered stood in solitude within the mineshaft, his attention devoted to a pickaxe rhythmically striking a bronze vein in the cavern wall. Thanks to the element of surprise, he didn''t register my presence before he had evaporated into nothingness. The highlight of this encounter was pair of cobber daggers he left behind. They emitted a modest grey shimmer, a clear sign of their pedestrian rank - common tier, yet they were a substantial upgrade from the piece of wood I''d been using to play whack-a-kobold. With their sharp edges, I carved a path through the next half dozen kobolds I encountered as I journeyed further into the cavern, my confidence soaring with each evaporated kobold. The endpoint of the rustic mine/dungeon-hybrid was marked by a cozy fireplace, and just beyond that, a tantalizing chest. This was the grand prize I was seeking! The only hiccup was the kobold on steroids that paced back and forth in front of the fireplace like a bouncer at a seedy nightclub. I assumed what I thought was an intimidating attack stance, a pose that probably didn¡¯t have any real benefit, other than looking cool, well, at least it felt like the stance looked cool. ¡°You''re about as intimidating as a bunny with a toothache!¡± I hollered, watching the massive kobold''s body shudder in response. There was no one-shot, or in this case, one-shout, for this heavyweight. However, I had managed to carve out a solid half of his health. He was much bulkier than the wolf, and I had only anticipated scraping away a tiny bit of his health bar with my insult. Unless... did my insults level up as I used them? The kobold closed the gap before I could take my 25th breath, forcing me to engage in melee combat. I was hit only once, and for the first time, my world was awash in a sea of yellow. But I remained unfazed. The shivs had proven their mettle, and I fell the boss Kobold with two swift jabs. With the adrenaline slowly seeping out of my system, I strolled over to the chest. Excitement sparked at the prospect of looting my first chest, yet a tinge of melancholy hung over the moment. The skirmish was over, and I''d genuinely relished the feeling of being overpowered. I had a nagging feeling that I wouldn''t feel like that again. The chest contained three items: A sleek rapier with a green shimmer, just as promised by Merlin, a pouch heavy with coins, and a ring. The ring was a snug fit for my bulky fingers, but I pocketed it nonetheless, intending to present it to Merlin. Who knew, maybe it was worth a some copper. As I made my way back to Merlin, another grey wolf crossed my path. Deciding to test my theory, I let loose a roaring insult. True to my hypothesis, the wolf keeled over on the spot. My spell had indeed grown more potent! I was on top of the world, or at least, on top of the nearest hill, when I spotted Merlin waiting by the cart. This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Walking up to him, I felt like the tallest dwarf that ever lived. ¡°Mr. Tim, you have returned! And with the rapier, I see. Well done!¡± Merlin said, waving his hands in his normal grandiose matter. ¡°Thanks! I feel much more powerful now than when I went in. And my spell, it does double the damage. Why''s that?¡± I asked, unable to hide my excitement. ¡°Everything is amplified by your items. When you ventured into the dungeon, you were armed only with two halves of a stick, a broken weapon. Now, you wield an uncommon tier rapier and even a fine helmet. The higher the quality of your gear, the stronger your spells and attacks become,¡± Merlin explained with a smile. ¡°Interesting,¡± I mused. ¡°I also found this ring, but it''s too small for me.¡± ¡°Hmm, peculiar. Allow me to inspect this ring for a moment, there''s something familiar about it. Meanwhile, here''s your quest reward,¡± Merlin handed me a new parcel, and grabbed the ring eagerly Congratulations! You''ve triumphed in your quest and aquired TWO new levels. You are now a level four Bard of the Highland Clan. Your accomplishment has been rewarded with an upgraded Vicious Mockery - Level Two, along with TWO new spells ¨C Light, and Ward. You now possess the capacity to cast spells that harness the ancient energy of mana. Light: This spell illuminates the vicinity around the caster and can be conjured with the word - "Light". Ward: This creates a protective barrier that shields the caster from all physical damage for a brief period. It can be summoned with the word "ward" and has a 50-breath cooldown. Like with Vicious Mockery, it won¡¯t use up any mana. Two levels! And the duel cherries on top were the new spells I¡¯ve got. ¡°Light!¡± As the word slipped out of my mouth, a radiant light sprang to life above my head, brightening the area encompassing both Merlin and me. A blue aura filled my vision as I cast the spell. ¡°Ward!¡± I bellowed. While there was no visible change, I could feel an intangible shield enveloping me, an aura of potent protection. I smiled at Merlin, who was still engrossed in examining the ring, a frown creasing his brow. As the light dimmed, I tried to recast it, but this time vision was a more subdued hue of blue, and the light only flickered for a couple of seconds. ¡°How much mana do I have?¡± Merlin glanced up from the ring, a puzzled expression on his face. ¡°Hmm? What was that, Mr. Tim?¡± ¡°I asked about my mana.¡± ¡°Ah, yes, of course. I apologize. I was so fascinated by this ring you handed me that I lost sight of our conversation. Can you forgive my distraction?¡± ¡°Uhm, yes?¡± ¡°Ah, I appreciate your understanding, Mr. Tim. Mana is intrinsically linked to your soul and unlike health, skills, and power, it''s not influenced by items or external factors. It grows as you grow, but as a bard, your true power lies with the cantrips, and you must carefully manage your mana usage. It will replenish over time but at a slow pace.¡± That was a handy piece of advice. Note to self: Don¡¯t spam light. ¡°Ward!¡± I shouted once more, causing Merlin to jump. ¡°There''s no need to yell, Mr. Tim,¡± Merlin said. ¡°You can even mentally command ''ward'' since it''s a personal effect. However, Vicious Mockery needs to be audible to its target.¡± We shared a quiet moment, Merlin and I, each observing the other. ¡°Alright. What''s next?¡± I asked when the awkwardness of the silence became too much to handle. ¡°Ah, yes. The next quest,¡± Merlin mused, absentmindedly twirling the ring in his fingers. ¡°Your next mission is to journey to the town of Duckville and seek out the bard trainer. He''ll guide you on your path to becoming a formidable bard. While you''re there, I wonder if you could assist me with a small task?¡± I nodded, my mind momentarily sidetracked by the peculiar name. Duckville? Was I somehow trapped in a Donald Duck cartoon? ¡°Excellent. I''d like you to take this ring and inquire around town if anyone might recognize its owner. But be wary, Duckville has its fair share of thieves. If you directly ask them who the ring belongs to, they may lie to get their hands on it. It''s extremely valuable.¡± ¡°Alright, but why do you think the ring''s owner is in Duckville?¡± I asked, intrigued by Merlin''s obsession with the ring. ¡°Because the signet on this ring is something I''ve come across before. Plus, it''s clearly designed for a human, you can tell by its size. See, it nearly fits me. I suspect it belongs to a nobleman or woman of high status. Do inquire on my behalf, and if you find something out, you can get in touch with me using this.¡± Merlin handed me a sapphire stone. ¡°Just rub it three times while uttering my name, and I''ll appear within the hour. But remember, it only works once, so use it only if you determine to whom the ring belongs.¡± ¡°You''re not accompanying me?¡± I asked, surprised. ¡°No, my work here is done. Flurin Bhunnel will guide you further.¡± ¡°Flour who?¡± ¡°Flurin. He''s Duckville''s resident bard trainer. You''ll recognize him by his exquisite music. Just follow the harmonious strains.¡± ¡°Duckville, Bard-guy, Frodo''s ring, and an Aladdin''s lamp, got it! Which way do I go?¡± ¡°Sometimes I fail to comprehend you, Mr. Tim, but I do have faith in you. Follow this path for half a day and you will reach Duckville. I wish you the very best in your journey and remember, always keep a well-stocked satchel, sufficient mana, and your best weapon at hand. You will face numerous challenges along the way, but with diligence and determination, you have what it takes. Believe in yourself.¡± Merlin hoisted his cart and began to amble in the opposite direction. ¡°I bet you tell everyone that!¡± I hollered after him, and thought I saw the old wizard''s ears perk up at my words. Duckville, GRUGNUR, and a strange relationship
As I trudged on, the initial thrill and euphoria I''d felt after conquering the dungeon had long evaporated, replaced by a melancholic emptiness left by Merlin''s departure. My journey became a rhythmic cycle of walking, breathing, and pausing for an energy drink. Rinse and repeat. As the sun gave way to the dual moons casting their ethereal blue glow upon the world, the distant flicker of yellow lights signaled a nearing civilization. ¡°Who goes there? state your purpose!¡± A voice thundered from the forest when I neared the settlement. Emerging from the shadows, two imposing figures materialized, donned in what appeared to be guard uniforms. ¡°Speak now, stranger, or prepare to cross steel!¡± I raised my hands. ¡°No need for that. I¡¯m Tim, and I¡¯m sent here from Merlin the Wizard.¡± The men relaxed slightly. ¡°Ah, another adventurer, then?¡± The largest of the men stepped forward, allowing me to take in his formidable presence. Years of combat had honed his muscular frame into an indomitable force. A greatsword, as worn and scarred as its wielder, was fastened securely across his back, its battle-marred surface a testament to the relentless intensity of its master. I angled my body in a vain attempt to hide the oversized toothpick that was hanging from my belt. ¡°Yes, I guess I am. I¡¯m looking for Flurin Buttmel.¡± ¡°So, you''re a Bard, then? It''s been quite a while since we''ve had one of those in town, hasn''t it, Lars?¡± The other guard let out a hearty laugh. ¡°Indeed, it has. Well, good luck, Bard. May your melodies be as sharp as your wit.¡± Lars retorted, his voice dripping with mockery as he emphasized the words ¡®Bard,¡¯ ¡®sharp,¡¯ and ¡®good luck.¡¯ They shared another round of laughter, and for a moment, I felt like I''d regressed to my childhood and the painful days of being the local bully''s favorite target. Their chuckles echoed in my ears as they faded back into the dark forest. Calling it a town was like calling a Kobold a Dwarf. I¡¯d been to many different towns, but this one could barely qualify. It was a single-street settlement with buildings erected haphazardly from weathered wood and faded brick, leaning on each other for mutual support. The main path was a worn stone road, its cobblestones long since rendered jagged and uneven by the elements. Potholes marked the route like irregular stitches in an old quilt. Despite its downtrodden appearance, the village pulsed with quiet energy. Every cracked window, every warped door, and every crumbling rooftop told tales of countless quest-givers, epic battles fought, and legendary heroes passing through. The very first building on my left was the Inn ¨C Duckville Inn, and I suddenly felt an intense urge for a good night¡¯s sleep. The Inn was not as I had expected. I¡¯d imagined it to look like a Wild West saloon of sorts, but the reality was quite different. This place was an explosion of color. Vibrant green walls contrasted sharply with crimson tables and chairs doused in a bold shade of yellow. Dominating the room''s center was a massive fireplace, its crackling flames casting dancing shadows and a comforting warmth that seemed to seep into every corner. The stone mantle above it was adorned with an array of whimsical trinkets and keepsakes. Despite the sparse crowd, the atmosphere was jovial, with a hum of quiet conversations occasionally punctuated by laughter. Thankfully, the bar was exactly as I¡¯d expected, boasting the classic, solid wooden counter and rows of various spirits on the back wall. ¡°Welcome stranger! How may I serve you?¡± the innkeeper said. He was a rotund man with rosy cheeks, a bushy white beard, and a cordial gleam in his eyes, dressed in a simple tunic and apron. ¡°Thank you. I wonder if you have a room for hire.¡± ¡°Well, of course, we have, what kind of inn would we have been if not? It¡¯s 25 peng for the smallest, and 50 for the largest.¡± Relieved I opened my coin purse and presented it to the innkeeper. The warmth from the roaring fireplace had already begun to invigorate my travel-weary body. The innkeeper¡¯s brow furrowed. "This is only 15 peng." "What? That can''t be right. There are at least a hundred in here," I protested, snatching it from his hands and emptying its contents onto the counter. "Ah, well, you see, a single Peng equates to seventy-five of these Ora¡¯s." The innkeeper said, pointing at one of the coins¡­ Then I remembered Merlin''s parting advice: trust no one. I narrowed my eyes and leaned towards him. ¡°OK? Can you show me a Peng?" ¡°As long as you don''t run off with it,¡± the innkeeper said with a suspicious glare as he presented me with a significantly larger and thicker coin. Intricately carved into the coin''s surface was a majestic dragon, its wings outstretched in flight, encircling a pair of crossed swords. Seeing my dilemma, the innkeeper posed a proposition. ¡°You know, there''s something you could help me with. See that man over in the corner?¡± He pointed towards a darkened corner of the inn, where a solitary figure lurked. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. I squinted into the gloom, barely making out the outline of the individual. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I want him out. He''s been there for days, hardly buying anything and repelling my customers with his stench.¡± I noticed that the patrons were clustered on the opposite side of the room, as far away from the corner as possible. ¡°Rid me of him, and you can stay here for free for as long as you''re a guest in Duckville.¡± I smiled, my confidence in beating the Kobold boss resurging. Free accommodation for as long as I wanted was a no-brainer. ¡°OK, no problem,¡± I said and strolled confidently over to the corner. My grin faded when the odor hit me like a physical blow, an overpowering mix of rot and decay that nearly knocked me off my feet. As I pushed through the stench, the figure''s silhouette took form, causing a shiver of dread to run down my spine, and I immediately understood why the innkeeper hadn''t dealt with this problem himself. The upper and lower fangs were clacking against each other as he, or it, snored. I had fought enough of these creatures, digitally, so I knew it was an Ogre. Double the size of a man, three sizes the length of a Dwarf, and ten times the strength. A labyrinth of old scars marred the face, adding to the creature¡¯s intimidating appearance, and on its hip hung a knife as long as my newly acquainted rapier. I even thought I could see dried blood on it when the flickering lights from the fireplace made it¡¯s way to the corner. It was not worth dying for a bed. I turned to walk, but as I did, a deep, guttural voice boomed from behind, "DO YOU WANT?" I spun on my heel and found myself staring at the giant ogre''s bellybutton. ¡°I¡­I¡¯m sorry to have awakened you,¡± I stammered, trying to recover my wits under the ogre''s imposing stature. ¡°Uhm.. ehm¡­I¡­I wonder if you maybe can sit somewhere else? You scare the customers in the Inn, and¡­Well. you haven¡¯t really bought anything¡­¡± The ogre ended my stuttering plea when he placed his gargantuan hand on my shoulder. The weight was crushing, and I had to grit my teeth and focus all my strength to keep from dropping to my knees. Adrenaline flooded my system as I realized I probably had bitten off more than I could chew. I had the perfect mockery ready, but I somehow knew that the only thing I would achieve was to piss him off further. ¡°GRUGNUR IS SAD. NOBODY WANTS GRUGNUR. AND NOW, YOU MAKE HIM GO?¡± As I looked up to meet his gaze, I was caught off guard by the sadness in his eyes, a stark contrast to his hulking exterior. At that moment, I realized that my real-life superpower of being a skilled salesman would serve me better than brute force. After all, connecting with people was my greatest strength. "Would you like to have a chat? I could buy you a drink if you''d like," I offered, trying to defuse the tense situation. "MJ?D," Grugnur responded, dropping heavily back onto the chair with a thud that made the entire inn shudder. "What do you think you''re doing? I wanted you to get him out, not make him comfortable!" the innkeeper hissed when I ordered ad Mj?d and a beer, frustration clear on his face. ¡°I¡¯m doing what you told me to. I¡¯ll get him out of here,¡± I said, holding his glare with my own determined look. ¡°But given Grugnur''s size, a physical confrontation isn''t exactly feasible, is it? My best option is to talk him out of here.¡± ¡°That will be 1,5 Peng,¡± the innkeeper said, still looking at me with narrow eyes. ¡°What!? I am doing this for you, you sly devil.¡± I was flustered but decided not to let this hiccup ruin my plan. Tossing the pouch of coins onto the counter with a thud, I collected our drinks and made my way back to Grugnur. ¡°Here you go. Now, please tell me what¡¯s the matter.¡± Grugnur drank half the mug in one sip, his throat working rapidly. "GRUGNUR LONELY. MARTHA THREW ME OUT," he rumbled after a moment, his voice heavy with emotion. ¡°Martha?¡± ¡°GRUGNURS WIFE. LOVE. SOULMATE. I MISS HER SO¡­¡± His sentence broke off into a mighty sob that echoed through the inn. I took another sip of the surprisingly good beer, waiting for his wailing to subside before I asked. ¡°Why did she throw you out?¡± "LOST MARTHA''S RING. GRUGNUR THROWN OUT OF HOME." I thought about the ring I¡¯d found earlier but quickly dismissed the idea - it was too small to fit an ogre. But how could an ogre lose a ring? It would probably fit me as a bracelet. Then again, I had lost my car a few times back in the real world. ¡°How did you lose it?¡± "GRUGNUR DON''T KNOW. WAS CLEANING HOUSE AND RING GONE," he said, looking forlorn. It was comforting to know that even in this new reality, no matter if you¡¯re a gigantic scarred ogre, domestic duties persisted. Then a possible solution dawned on me. I just needed to help Grugnur mend his relationship with this Martha and then I could finally have a peaceful night''s sleep in a warm bed. *** "MARTHA LOVE. PLEASE OPEN UP," Grugnur boomed, thumping a huge fist on the door of house number 11. The homes here huddled together on this one road, all looked very much alike, and this was no exception. Despite its seeming normalcy, something felt off. It was the kind of home one might expect a small human family to inhabit, not an enormous, intimidating ogre. ¡°Have you found my ring!?¡± A voice shrieked from within. Grugnur looked at me, his eyes pleading. I gave him a reassuring nod. "SOMEONE HELP RING FIND!" He bellowed back, loud enough to ensure that every resident of Duckville heard it. For a moment, everything went silent. Then, slowly, the door began to creak open. I braced myself, preparing a quick retort for whatever situation we were about to face. As a salesman, I had learned not to act surprised when the telephone voice didn¡¯t fit the face. But nothing could have prepared me for the shock of seeing Martha standing in the doorway. ¡°Who are you?¡± she said, one hand resting defiantly on her hip. She epitomized beauty, with her long blonde hair cascading over her bare, human-like shoulders. Her high cheekbones and dazzling blue eyes were incredibly captivating, so much so that I found myself at a loss for words. ¡°What? Let me guess, not what you expected. Now, tell me, who are you and how are you going to find my ring?¡± she demanded. I was dumbstruck. She was a sight to behold, a Blood Elf, if my memory served me right, barely a tenth of Grugnur''s size yet radiating a mesmerizing presence. ¡°Uh, I... I am good at finding things?¡± I stuttered, my voice barely above a whisper. Her striking expression shifted abruptly as she sized me up, her hand dropping from her hip. ¡°Gruggie, invite your friend inside,¡± she said. Gruggie? I Stepped inside their oddly mundane home. Grugnur followed closely behind, engaging in a rapid conversation with Martha in a language I failed to understand. But at this point, the strangeness of the day had lost its shock value, and the surprising romance of a Blood Elf and an Ogre was the cherry on the top. Suddenly, a hollow echo rang through the room followed by an intense, throbbing pressure building in my head. And then, abruptly, the world dissolved into darkness.
A Dank Cellar, An Echanted Cage, and a Faulty Rub The first thing I noticed when I came to was the overpowering aroma of fungus. The second thing was slightly more concerning: I was stark naked, lying on a dirt floor, trapped in a cage like some wayward zoo exhibit. So, I did what any rational Dwarf would do in that situation, I dedicated all my energy to thrashing against the unrelenting bars and holler my lungs out until I passed out from the effort. I was jolted awake by a shock of cold water hitting my naked body, my head felt as though a deranged goblin was inside, tap dancing with steel-toed boots. Then a voice pierced through my hazy consciousness. ¡°Wake up!¡± Martha was standing on the other side of the bars, holding the ring Merlin had gone all Gollum on. ¡°Why did you steal it?¡± she gritted out, anger radiating off her like heat from a bonfire. ¡°I didn''t,¡± I said, working myself back up into a seated position while covering my privates. ¡°I found it in a Kobold dungeon. The boss had it in his chest.¡± ¡°Do you honestly think I''m dumb enough to fall for the oldest excuse in the world? Now, tell me the truth or you¡¯ll become what you sit on.¡± Two things about that statement puzzled me: Firstly, it was news to me that in Purgatory, blaming a Kobold boss for stealing was an age-old cliche. Secondly, I wondered how exactly one could become dirt. My musings were cut short as I saw flames engulfing her hand, providing at least one horrifying answer. ¡°I swear it''s true. I found the ring in a chest. You can have it. I won''t tell a soul. I don''t even want that ugly thing!¡± My voice squeaked up an octave with each frantic sentence. Martha slipped it onto her finger - a perfect match. ¡°Ugly?¡± The fire dancing around her hand grew in intensity. ¡°When you barged in with... Mr. Nitwit, I sensed its presence immediately. This is a beautiful and powerful heirloom from my grandmother, the great witch of the Lowlands.¡± Great! Another Scottish reference. ¡°You¡¯re lucky I didn¡¯t end you the moment you entered my house. Either speak the truth or die where you sit, and don''t even bother trying to escape; this cage is enchanted, and your screams won''t reach a single ear. I''ll grant you a few minutes to contemplate your fate.¡± "I swear, I''m being honest. I just arrived in town. I truly haven''t been here before. I promise, cross my heart and hope to die!" ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll more than respect your hopes. You have five minutes to reconsider your story," her hand returned to its normal color as she began to walk away. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Can I have my stone? It''s an heirloom from my dear granny, from the uhm... Upperlands¡­ and I always keep it with me. I made a promise to my nanna to carry it until the day I die. It''s just a simple blue stone.¡± Martha rifled through a pocket on her robe, which clung to her like a love-struck suitor - a stark reminder of how extraordinarily stunning my impending executioner was. Talk about a silver lining for Grugnur. ¡°Here!¡± She tossed the stone toward me after investigating it thoroughly. ¡°I''ve no quarrel with your grandmother.¡± She retreated into the gloom, the eerie screech of a door and the clink of a lock trailing behind her. I looked at the stone for a long while before I mustered the courage to rub it, Merlin''s words echoing in my mind: It will only last for one time, Mr. Tim. ¡°One, two, three!¡± I counted and rubbed the stone in the grandest Aladdin-lamp-style I could manage. Holding my breath, I stared at it, but nothing. I looked at the stone in my hand and attempted another rub, but after the second swipe, it disintegrated into blue dust. ¡°NO!!!!!¡± I screamed, springing to my feet and rattling the cage with all my might. It remained unfazed. I began to dig at the dirt floor like a frantic hound, but after about two inches, my hands hit an invisible barrier. She hadn''t lied; the cage was enchanted. ¡°Light,¡± I commanded, and the room instantly illuminated. It appeared to be a sort of cellar, an array of barrels huddled together like a herd of wooden cattle, a collection of unfortunate rats, and a small workbench filled with an assortment of seemingly discarded items: rusty tools, odd bits of metal, and what looked like a worn-out spellbook. On the wall hung a bow, ensconced in a faint, ethereal blue glow - a rare weapon! If only I could escape this damn cage, that rickety old door wouldn''t stand a chance. ¡°HEY, Grugnur! I''d call you as ugly as an ogre, but even that would be a massive insult to the ogre race!¡± I hollered with every ounce of strength left in me, wishing the insult would somehow puncture him like a well-aimed arrow. But there was nothing, only the echo of a perfectly good insult wasted in the emptiness. *** ¡°Mr. Tim, Mr. Tim, can you hear me?¡± I couldn''t tell if I had passed out or merely fallen asleep, but a familiar voice snapped me back to the bewildering reality I found myself in. Before the cage were three figures. Grugnur, Martha, and in the center¡­Merlin. I had to fight to hold back tears: it was the most beautiful hideous sight I''d ever seen. ¡°Merlin, you came!¡± I said, relief washing over me. Merlin responded with a warm smile. ¡°Why didn''t you tell me you were sent by Merlin, the Wizard?¡± Martha said, the edge in her voice making me flinch. ¡°I did! I said it multiple times, for Troll''s sake!¡± ¡°Oh really?¡± Martha shot back, her eyebrows raised in mock surprise. ¡°I must have been too busy not being charmed by your ''I''m just a harmless bard'' routine.¡± ¡°That''s rich, coming from someone who nearly incinerated me because I ''lied'' about a ring!¡± I countered. Before she could launch a counterattack, Martha seemed to think better of it. She just smiled at me, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and shrugged. ¡°I thought the stone didn¡¯t work,¡± I said, shifting my focus to Merlin. ¡°It did,¡± Merlin said, his voice even-tempered. ¡°But it''s not a teleportation stone. It alerted me to your location, but I was... let''s just say, otherwise engaged. You''re free to leave the cage now.¡± ¡°Can I at least get some clothes first?¡± ¡°Gruggie! Fetch Mr. Tim¡¯s clothes,¡± Martha commanded. ¡°We''ll give you some privacy to get dressed,¡± Merlin said, indicating Grugnur and Martha to leave. ¡°Please join us upstairs when you''re ready. I have a quest for you. No, let me correct that: We have a quest for you.¡± Lurin, The Real Slim Shady, and Glor....Gloria ¡°I feel so bad, treating a friend of Merlin the Wizard this way, please, you have to forgive me. If it¡¯s any consolidation I would have released you in a week¡¯s time.¡± Martha said, showing off her pearly whites. ¡°I forgive you,¡± I said, my words muffled by a mouthful of the extraordinary dish Grugnur had prepared. It turned out the ogre was quite the culinary artist, whipping up a fantastical meal composed of spicy cave mushrooms, crispy pixie wings, and the unexpectedly savory flank of a roly-poly rock troll. Under ordinary circumstances, I¡¯d be a little self-conscious eating with an audience, but my hunger overrode any such concerns. ¡°You said you had a quest for me?¡± I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. ¡°Yes, we do. You see, the ring you found in the dungeon is a very powerful artifact,¡± Merlin began, rising to his feet and pacing in front of the table like an agitated detective in a mystery novel Oh no, not this ring business again. If he was about to suggest that we form a ragtag fellowship¡ªcomprising a wizard, an elf, a dwarf, a couple of humans, and a handful of hobbits¡ªto journey through treacherous mountains, battle an orcish horde, and hurl the ring into a fiery volcano, I was going to turn him down flat. ¡°You see, Mr¡­eh Tim, that kobolds don¡¯t dare venture into towns because they are scared of magic, and towns are riddled with magic presence. We think someone in the town must have taken it, and somehow passed it on to the kobold leader, and we need you to find out who it was.¡± Merlin stopped and looked at me. ¡°This is an important quest, Tim. But do not forget to contact Lurin first. I have a feeling you''ll need to muster every ounce of strength for this one.¡± A P.I. quest! Now that was more like it, even if I didn¡¯t think I had an option¡ªthis reeked of main quest. ¡°Okay, quest accepted. But I¡¯ll need a better weapon. I saw a bow in the cellar, hanging on the wall¡ªI¡¯d like that as a reward,¡± I flashed a toothy grin, gleaming like tarnished gold in the firelight. ¡°That bow is a formidable weapon,¡± Martha said, sending a withering look my way. She paused longer than a long-winded ogre¡¯s tale before giving me a slow, reluctant nod. ¡°If you discover who stole the ring and why, you''ll get it,¡± Martha said before she resumed nuzzling in Grugnur¡¯s sizable armpit. *** ¡°Salutations!¡± Lurin exclaimed as I approached him. He stood in a shed in the village town center known as "The Round." It was a rather uncreative name, given its resemblance to a large roundabout teeming with an assortment of sheds with vendors, trainers, and caf¨¦s. The centerpiece of the roundabout was a towering wooden duck perched atop what looked like a defunct fountain. I made a mental note to investigate the backstory behind the town''s unique name. ¡°Might I entice you with some melodies from distant lands?¡± ¡°Uh, not at the moment, thank you. I''m Tim. Merlin sent me,¡± I said to the peculiar man who was enthusiastically strumming a lute while humming a captivating tune. ¡°Ah, indeed! Welcome to Duckville. I am the esteemed Bard master of this town¡ªa virtuoso of song, speech, and seduction. You''ve certainly sought out the right mentor. But, before I can impart my knowledge, you must demonstrate your worthiness. If you desire my tutelage, you must accept a quest to amass 10 Pengs!¡± Lurin beamed at me, his enthusiasm for this task blatantly evident. ¡°The task is as straightforward as it''s challenging. You must amass the funds before the sun drops beneath the horizon. Leaving the town borders is strictly forbidden, and your bardic prowess must be your only means of earning the Pengs." ¡°But...I only have Vicious Mockery, Light, and Ward!¡± I protested, giving him my most bewildered look. ¡°No! Those are merely your active skills. Your most potent and transformative skills reside within you,¡± Lupin responded, punctuating his words with a forceful thump on his chest, ¡°They are the reason you were brought into this world as a Bard.¡± He paused, clearly relishing these theatrical breaks. His entire persona exuded a flair for the dramatic. ¡°And that is¡­Charisma!¡± ¡°Charisma?¡± I felt the last traces of energy from Grugnur''s meal dwindle. Charisma... The most underwhelming stat in the history of RPGs - The attribute no one truly understands or cares for. ¡°Yes. The most vital stat there is!¡± Lupin belted out, his arms weaving an intricate dance in the air. ¡°Your charisma is high because you have a knack for drawing attention. When wielded correctly, nothing can stand in your way. So, are you prepared?¡± ¡°No?¡± ¡°Too bad, because the quest starts now. Go forth with the grace of beautiful melodies and come back bearing wealth!¡± Lupin proclaimed before promptly resuming strumming on his instrument. I glanced around, grappling with how I was going to get ten Peng before sundown. *** After pacing aimlessly up and down the city''s streets, waiting for an ingenious idea to strike me, I decided to head back to the inn and have a chat with the innkeeper about my reward. On the Inn¡¯s wall hang a poster I hadn¡¯t seen when I entered town:
- Wanted ¨C Dead or Alive - The Thief Goblin ¨C Kliobl. Last seen in the outskirt of the charred forest. Be warned ¨C The Goblin is an adept fighter. Reward ¨C 100 Peng.
100 Peng! My hand instinctively reached into my pocket to grab my phone and snap a picture of the poster. I really missed the things I had taken for granted, as my mobile phone¡¯s camera. I had to remember it: Kliobl, goblin, forest, adept fighter. Check! When I played RPGs on my computer, I loved to do Wanted-sidequests. I was a completionist to the teeth. Too bad I couldn¡¯t go into the charred forest and just complete the Bard quest at the same time. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. ¡°Indeed, that''s quite the predicament,¡± the innkeeper remarked as I explained my situation to him, all while ordering a pint of beer. He graciously served the drink on the house, along with the key to the room I had earned by getting Grugnur out of the bar. ¡°You''re a bard, correct?¡± he casually asked while serving another patron. My attention was focused on the dwindling amount of beer left in my glass, and it took me a moment to realize he was addressing me. "Uhm, mhm, unfortunately." ¡°Well, why not embrace it? Do what bards do best. Sing! If you''re any good, I''ll personally pay you five Peng if you perform until sunset. And if you can manage to earn another five Peng from the patrons, you''ll have completed your quest,¡± he suggested with an air of certainty. ¡°No! Absolutely not. I sing about as well as a hoarse cow. I wouldn''t wish that on anyone,¡± I said, swiftly draining the last of my beer. ¡°I find that hard to believe,¡± the innkeeper said. ¡°I''ve yet to meet a bard who couldn''t carry a tune. Come on, give it a try!¡± he urged, raising his voice just enough to attract the attention of a few nearby patrons. I shook my head so vigorously that the room started to spin, just like a four-year-old when told to go to bed. ¡°Then you won''t be able to do your quest. You know that the class quest is the most important quest there is. Without it, you will not even get close to your potential.¡± I took a sip from the empty glass. ¡°Sing, sing, sing, sing!¡± The crowd started shouting, and I could feel my ears go hot. I rose from my seat, clenching the inn''s room key tightly in my hand. My mind was made up; I''d retreat to the safety of my room and sleep off this embarrassment, hoping the quest would respawn when I failed to complete it in time. Yet, just as I was about to make my strategic retreat, a word¡ªmagical in its ability to provoke¡ªwas tossed into the air. ¡°Are you a chicken!?¡± My hand instinctively found the hilt of my rapier, the cool metal offering a sense of reassurance. Those standing near me took a step back, creating a small circle around me. ¡°Who said that?¡± I shouted. The only sound in the inn was the sound of my own shallow breath. I swiveled around, scanning the anxious faces that stared back at me. With a resigned shake of my head, I sheathed my weapon. ¡°So, you want to hear me sing? Me, of all people? Consider yourself warned, I have the worst voice in the world, any world! But if that''s what you wish for, then so be it. Gather round, brace yourselves, and prepare to be traumatized.¡± I stepped up onto one of the yellow wooden chairs, the old wood creaking under my weight. Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath and began singing my favorite song: She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean She was the best damn woman that I¡¯d ever seen She had the sightless eyes, telling me no lies Knocking me out with those American thighs I stopped and waited for the cacophony of laughter, but there was complete silence in the bar. Slowly, hesitantly, I cracked open my eyes, half-expecting to find the room deserted or the patrons rolling on the floor in hysterics, in a literal embodiment of ROFL. What met my gaze, however, was entirely unexpected. I almost lost my balance and toppled off the stool as I saw the crowd huddled closer around me, their mouths open, eyes wide with astonishment. Could it be? Had they... enjoyed it? Did they have some strange auditory deficiency? I resumed singing, this time with my eyes open and observing the crowd. The innkeeper navigated through the transfixed patrons and placed a hat at my feet. Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air She told me to come, but I was already there ''Cause the walls start shaking, the Earth was quaking My mind was aching and we were making it And then, there she was. As if materializing out of thin air amidst the throng of captivated onlookers, stood the most mesmerizing woman I had ever laid my eyes upon. Her hair, a torrent of vibrant crimson, was artfully tucked behind her delicately pointed ears. Her eyes were two pools of midnight blue, radiating a warmth that was as welcoming as it was entrancing. Her compact stature was distinctly dwarven, her silhouette an amalgamation of curves and muscular definition hinting at strength and resilience. Her radiant smile was infectious, a row of perfectly white teeth contrasting beautifully against her slightly tanned complexion. I locked eyes with her, and at that moment, I sang. I sang as I never had sung before, every note infused with the unspoken emotions her sudden appearance had stirred within me. And you shook me all night loooong Yeah, you shook me all night looooong *** ¡°Did you see the female dwarf that was here?¡± I said to the innkeeper as I spread the contents of the hat across the counter. My understanding of the various coins was limited, so I motioned for him to take charge of the counting. ¡°Dwarves are common patrons here,¡± he muttered, sorting the coins into neat piles. ¡°She wore a green cape and stood right there, front and center!¡± I said, pointing to the spot where she had stood, my voice teetering on the edge of panic. A shift in the innkeeper''s demeanor signaled his discomfort. ¡°It''s best not to dwell on it, Mr. Tim. Some things are better left undisturbed.¡± ¡°Just Tim. What are you implying?¡± ¡°Your earnings from the crowd total 8 Peng. Along with my 5, that makes... let''s see... eight, nine...¡± ¡°That''s 13. But why are you avoiding my question? Who is she?¡± I pressed, my hands itching to grab him by the collar and shake the truth out of him. ¡°She¡¯s not from around here. She is not¡­ how can I say this. She lost her whole family in the charred forest. There are many rumors about Glorimrinelyn, but most of them are based on the same story. That she got mad, desperate in her quest to get the one that killed her family.¡± ¡°Glomrin¡­What?¡± I asked. What¡¯s with these names? ¡°Glorimrinelyn Noblemaker. But some only call her Gloria,¡± the innkeeper said. Why didn¡¯t he start with that? ¡°Where can I find her?¡± I could feel a fire burning inside. I knew that I had to find Gloria, and I don¡¯t know how, but I knew it was destined. ¡°Tim. You really shouldn¡¯t. You will only get hurt. And not only physically. She is on a crusade against the elemental, and she will only get herself burned.¡± ¡°The elemental?¡± I asked. ¡°No, no! I''ve already said too much. Here''s the 5 Peng I promised,¡± he said hastily, moving off to clean a table. But I wasn''t going to let him escape that easily. I chased after him, seizing his jacket. ¡°Tell me where I can find her. Now!¡± I demanded, my voice echoing loudly in the inn. Anger seared through me. This wasn''t like me at all - in my real life, I''d always kept my emotions under control. ¡°She stays in the Grey Forest, right on the edge of the Charred. She''s got a cabin there. Speak to the merchant at The Round - he knows where it is. But please, don''t mention my name. I need to get back to my work,¡± he pleaded. I let go of him, my anger subsiding. ¡°I need to complete my quest and report to Lupin before nightfall. Sorry for grabbing you like that, and thanks for all you''ve done today. You''ve been a good friend. By the way, what''s your name?" ¡°Friend? I''m called Garret,¡± he replied, a smile flickering on his face before he turned away to continue his cleaning duties. When I walked out of the Inn I could see the sun hanging heavy at the edge of the horizon. I was almost out of time. The Grey Forest, Glom..Gloria and Kliob ¡°I just made it!¡± I shouted, pointing towards the horizon where the sun was still faintly visible as I rushed into the city squa¡­uhm roundabout. Lupin, unmoved, was still in his previous spot, playing a seemingly familiar tune. ¡°Well, the prodigal apprentice returns,¡± Lupin responded, his gaze sweeping a scowl over the horizon, ¡°And just in the nick of time, it seems.¡± A spark of pride seemed to flicker in his eyes when I presented him with the ten Peng. ¡°Aha, these have the distinct flavor of a Bard¡¯s hard-earned wages.¡± Lurin studied each coin before passing them back. ¡°These are yours. Well earned. But let¡¯s not forget your quest reward.¡± With a flair of showmanship, Lupin produced a scroll from behind his bench. ¡°When you reach level five, you must return to me, apprentice. I¡¯ll have another quest waiting.¡± By now, I had come to appreciate the scrolls. I snatched it from Lupin, distancing myself a few steps before opening it. The rush of endorphins coursing through my veins was like leveling up in an online RPG, only cranked up to eleven. Congratulations! You have succeeded in your quest and have achieved a new level. You are now a level-five bard of the Highland clan. Your achievement has rewarded you with a new spell, Song of Rest. Song of Rest will replenish your health and make you last longer in the face of battle. Song of Rest uses mana and the command word is: rest. Only one level? I¡¯d been working my ass off, and all I got was one measly level! It was going to take forever to get to level 100 in this tempo. I looked back at Lupin, that stood staring into the air emptily. His only role in life was to stand there and give me quests, and I felt sorry for him living such a boring NPC life. I walked back to him while whispering rest - a gentle warmth rushed through my body, and I could see the blue hue transition to grey. I really needed more mana, hated being a one-spell pony. ¡°Ah welcome back, apprentice Bard!¡± He said, as if he hadn¡¯t seen me in a long time, like dogs react when you have been out the door for a few minutes. ¡°You have achieved the important fifth level. Not only did you learn a new and important spell, Song of Rest, but your other skills have also been stronger. In fact, they have doubled in power. You are now ready to test your skills on real enemies. Your next quest is to cast Song of Rest on yourself twenty times when you are at half health or below. When you have done this, come back to me and I will reward you with your very first instrument. The most important tool in a bards toolbox.¡± Great! A cast-x-number-of-times-quest, the most boring of them all, even worse than gathering quests. ¡°I don¡¯t play any instrument,¡± I said and looked at him, dumbfounded. An instrument!? I didn¡¯t even want one. I needed a better weapon, armor, or something cool! ¡°You thought you couldn¡¯t sing either, did you?¡± Lupin said. I stared at him and thought I could see a smile fighting for real estate in the corner of his mouth. I had always been good at spotting micro-expressions in people. Expressions that told their real emotions, the ones they tried to suppress. It was a superpower I¡¯d used often in my real life, workings as a salesperson. ¡°You knew I could sing?¡± ¡°Yes, of course,¡± He said. Smiling. ¡°I told you, the bard is a powerful class, and we have more tricks up our sleeves than anybody else. Now, go forth and use Song of Rest. There are several places you can find enemies to fight, but I recommend you don¡¯t stray far from the city. The farther away you go, the tougher the enemies get. If you get to a forest that is charred, you have strayed too far and must turn back immediately. Do not go into the charred forest, apprentice bard, heed my warning. And please don¡¯t take this warning as a challenge. You will not survive for long in the master of heat¡¯s domain.¡± ¡°The master of heat?¡± ¡°Yes, Volcanic. Highlands mortal enemy. He is a fire elemental that lives in the charred forest, sent from HIM¨CHarbinger of Eternal Doom. Volcanic is burning his way closer and closer to our village. We have been able to fight his minions off, but only barely. Soon, we¡¯ll have to abandon our lovely town.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t there anything you can do about it? Don¡¯t you have heroes or something that can fight him?¡± ¡°There are no heroes strong enough to face Volcanic in this area of the realm. All the heroes are off fighting wars in other places, much more important than the faith of Highland. If we band together to fight Volcanic, we might have had a chance, but the loss would be too much to bear.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s what I¡¯m supposed to do? Fight Volcanic?¡± It was obvious this fire element was a mini-boss that needed to be beaten for me to get wherever I was going. ¡°Oh, NO! No, you are not strong enough. To take down Volcanic, we need a powerful mage that is an expert on spells in the water category.¡± Lupin said, waving his arms. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. So all the stuff about Bard being the most awesome class didn¡¯t go so deep after all. Before I left the roundabout, I went over to the general merchant. ¡°Greetings, what goods can I offer this young bard?¡± the Merchant said. ¡°I understand you deliver groceries to Gloriunglangroe?¡± I said, knowing I had butchered her name. ¡°Who? I don¡¯t know that name.¡± ¡°The Dwarf woman that lives at the border to the charred forest, also called Gloria?¡± ¡°Ah, Glorimrinelyn! Yes. But who told you this?¡± ¡°I overheard someone in the Inn talking about it.¡± ¡°That no good rat, Garret, I know I can¡¯t trust him!¡± The merchant said, his human skin turning red under the bronze hair. ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t him!¡± I said, too loud and too fast. He smiled at me and bowed. ¡°That¡¯s OK. I won¡¯t tell him you told on him.¡± I opened my mouth to object, but the merchant beat me to it. ¡°My name is Imrin. I¡¯m this town¡¯s master merchant. It is nice to meet you. I know you are working with Lupin, and anyone under the steady tutorage of the great Bard is a friend of mine. I was actually on my way to deliver food to Glorimrinelyn now. If you would do me the honor of delivering it for me, I will tell you how to find her.¡± I shot out my hand. ¡°Nice to meet you Imrin. Fire away!¡± Imrin fell to the ground with a thump. I bent over the counter and could see he was lying flat on the ground, covering his head with his hands. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I said. He looked up at me, then looked around before he hesitantly stood up. I could hear Lupin laughing behind me, and so could Imrin, because he was looking angrily over my shoulder, and I got the distinct feeling he¡¯d been holding back on the truth when he told me how great friends they were. ¡°Ah, I thought you said someone was firing, so I took cover, preparing to fight back,¡± Imrin said loud enough for Lupin to hear. ¡°Here, take this box with groceries. I will draw you a simple map,¡± Imrin said and drew a very detailed map of how to get from the roundabout to the shack where Gromri¡­Gloria lived. A half-hour later, I was on my way, box in hand, and a couple of health-satchels ready in my belt, just in case.
The grey forest didn¡¯t seem as gray this time. I cannot tell if it was the low sun hitting my face or the excitement of seeing her again that lightened my mood. It was easy to follow the path Imrin had drawn for me, and I knew I was getting closer to the charred forest by the smell. The familiar sting of burned wood got stronger with each step I took. I only met one grey wolf, but it didn¡¯t seem to mind me. I contemplated aggroing it to get a heal off in my quest, but I was unsure how long it would take the wolf to bite its way through half my health, and I still had the pain from when the boar bit my butt fresh in my mind. The place wasn¡¯t like I thought it would look like. It was a series of small caves carved into the hillside with tall wooden fences in front of them, almost like cavemen settlements. I peeked through the thick planks in front of the nearest cave, trying to see someone, but it almost seemed abandoned. ¡°Glormsdf¡­Gloria! I am bringing food from Imrin!¡± I shouted through the fence. Nothing. Then I heard something crack behind me and I turned around. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± it said in a thin but growly voice. I remembered him from the pictures on the inn¡¯s wall. It was Kliobl, the wanted goblin. I could see his yellow sharp teeth as he smiled an all but friendly grin. Flanking him were four other goblins, making it a party of five. The two closest to me had leather armor, each holding a scimitar pointing in my direction. The last two were standing back, arrows loaded and I could hear their bowstrings creak. One of them shook. Kiobli had no weapon that I could see. He just stood in the middle of the pack, smiling. ¡°Eh, I think I might have taken the wrong turn somewhere. Sorry for the disturbance.¡± I said and gently lowered the box to the ground while whispering ward as the box hit the burned forest ground. The aura tightened around me, and I stood up again and raised my hands. A mockery already loaded and ready. ¡°Wrong turn!? Ugly dwarf, do we look stupid to you?¡± One of the melee goblins spat. ¡°I knew I had seen you somewhere,¡± I said, looking at the archer that was standing to the right of Kliobl, the one shaking like a leave in a storm. ¡°You look like the armpit of an unshaven bog hag!¡± The archer fell to the ground, dead. I reached for my rapier and could feel an arrow hit the surrounding ward before it hit me. It didn¡¯t penetrate my skin, and I was already running toward the remaining archer when the two melee goblins were on me. One of them hit me hard in the back, so my vision turned to dark yellow. ¡°Rest!¡± I said and parried the next attack, my vision returning to normal as I hit one goblin over the chest, but I didn¡¯t penetrate his armor. The remaining archer had pulled another arrow, and I knew I wouldn¡¯t reach him before he released it. I was also eight breaths from my next mockery. I concentrated on the two goblins with scimitars and I hoped I had enough mana to cast another rest before the next arrow hit. I changed focus to one of the warrior goblins instead of fighting them both. He attacked with a broad swing and I ducked while stabbing my rapier into his chest. Relieved when it penetrated the leather armor and he fell to the ground. ¡°FireBall!¡± I heard from behind me and recognized the thin, growly voice. That¡¯s why Kliobl didn¡¯t have any weapons. He was a Goblin mage. I turned around to see an enormous ball of fire approach me. Then something hit me hard from the side, throwing me off the path of the fireball, that instead hit the remaining warrior goblin that was in the middle of doing a fatal backstab on me, killing him instantly. I tried to fight off whoever was lying on top of me when I saw who it was. It was Gloria! ¡°What are you doing here?¡± She hissed. ¡°Can we chat about that in a bit?¡± I said as I stumbled my way back to my feet. Kliobl concentrated on his hands. Between them, a small fireball was hovering in the air, growing steadily. Gloria was on her feet and ran at him, but I could see that she wouldn¡¯t be able to get there in time. ¡°Hey! Kliobl! Your magic is as bad as your breath!¡± I shouted and immediately placed a ward on Gloria. Kliobl didn¡¯t get hurt by the mockery, but it distracted him enough that he lost his concentration, and the fireball vanished. he looked at me with a look of surprise and shock when Gloria attacked him viciously with two knives that seemed to appear from thin air. Kliobl, the Goblin mage, fell dead to the ground after the first flurry. He didn¡¯t even stand a chance. I had seen no one better at fighting. Not even in old Van Damme movies. I saw the back of the last of the Goblin pack, the archer, as it ran away from us. Then I approached Glovrifrinja. Getting into Glorias bed....But not the way you might think ¡°There''s a pretty penny waiting for you,¡± I remarked, watching as Gloria hoisted up the food crate. She paused, not bothering to meet my gaze. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°A cool hundred Peng bounty on that goblin you just annihilated.¡± She shrugged, unfazed. ¡°Not interested. It''s yours.¡± Without another word, she began heading toward the charred forest. I hurried after her. ¡°Are you sure? We can split it, 50/50?¡± She stopped, shooting me a puzzled look. ¡°Why are you following me?¡± ¡°I''m... well, I...¡± For the first time since landing in Purgatory, I was at a loss for words. ¡°Well, stop it!¡± Gloria snapped. Even though she was covered in goblin goo, she was just as pretty as I remembered from the inn. Maybe even prettier. ¡°Can I see where you live?¡± I said, realizing too late that it came out as a lame pick-up line ranked up there with classics like, ''Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?'' ¡°No! Now go!¡± ¡°Why did Imran send me here?¡± I asked and held up the map he had drawn. She gave me a long, searching look before swiftly snatching the map from my grip. ¡°Hey, I need that to find my way back!¡± I protested, reaching out. But in a blur of motion, a sharp jab to my solar plexus had me crumpled to the ground, my vision tinged with a dangerous red. ¡°Rest,¡± I said with the little air I still had in my lunges, and the vision got pink. I was still on my knees, coughing blood. I grabbed one of the satchels and drank it. Yellow. ¡°Why did you do that? And¡­ How did you do that? You almost killed me with one punch, in the stomach!¡± What level was she? She looked back, a hint of regret in her eyes. ¡°I thought you''d handle it better,¡± she replied nonchalantly, resuming her stride. I stood for a while before deciding to follow her from a safe distance. This time she didn¡¯t tell me to stay away, and I knew she knew I was there because I was making as much noise as a Dwarf walking in a forest that just got punched in the solar plexus. The scent of charred wood grew more potent as we approached the charred forest''s edge. Just as the stench threatened to overpower me, we arrived at her dwelling. To my surprise, it wasn¡¯t some makeshift shack but a charming cabin, albeit with a scorched rear side. It stood defiantly at the boundary of the dark, foreboding forest. ¡°This path leads straight to the village. It¡¯s a short four-hour walk. Goodbye!¡± Gloria said and pointed at a path veering in a completely different direction. She then turned towards her cabin and swung open the door. Instantaneously, a massive, furry creature bolted out, barreling straight for me with a fearsome howl. Reflexively, I raised my ward and unsheathed my rapier, preparing to fend against the oversized grey wolf. ¡°Draw a blade on my turf, and you''d better be ready to use it!¡± Gloria warned, her tone icy. With a smooth stride, she approached the wolf, soothing it with a pat. In her other hand, a gleaming dagger had materialized from nowhere. My rapier quickly found its sheath as my hands shot up in surrender. ¡°Sorry! I got spooked by the wolf, and thought it was here to attack us.¡± Gloria flicked her wrist and the knife disappeared as if it had vanished in thin air. She looked at me for a while before she shook her head and went inside, leaving the door open. Even though I had been a confident salesman in my real life, there was something about women that left me stumbling over my words, feeling as awkward as a pimpled 14-year-old. And even though Gloria was a dwarf, that didn''t make her any less intimidating. I hesitated outside her cabin, looking at the open door for a long time before I dared to walk inside. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡°Sit down!¡± she commanded as soon as I entered. The cabin was strangely cozy, despite the evident burn damage. Half the room showed signs of the fire; the charred timbers starkly contrasted the intact side, which remained curiously untouched, its homely decorations and personal touches evoking a sense of familiarity. Gloria approached with a steaming mug of... something. The drink straddled the line between coffee and tea, a strange brew that was unpleasant to taste but comforting in warmth. As its heat spread within me, the visual tinge of yellow softened, transitioning to a gentle green before vanishing entirely. Gloria sat silently across from me, her gaze fixed intently on mine over the swirling steam of her cup of¡­.cofte? ¡°Is this yours?¡± I asked. At least it was somewhat of a cognitively usable question. She nodded. I turned in my chair and looked at the burned wall behind me. It puzzled me that she hadn¡¯t tried to fix it. The wall was completely charred, and the floor was scorched halfway into the cabin. ¡°What happened here?¡± I asked. ¡°It burned,¡± Gloria said. So, not the chatty type. ¡°OK,¡± I said and stood up. Gloria immediately mirrored my movement, and the wolf, resting on a bed labeled "Fido" with a finely embroidered nameplate, was staring at me with an intent gaze. I walked towards the charred part of the cabin when I heard Gloria scream behind me. ¡°NO!!!¡± I spun around, my heart racing. Gloria''s expression was one of sheer panic. I backpedaled, distancing myself from the scorched area. "I''m sorry," I stammered, taken aback by her reaction. Despite my internal warning bells telling me to give her space, I felt compelled to console her. I made my way over and tentatively rested my hand on her shoulder. In the blink of an eye, the room shifted and I was staring into the faces of Gloria and the wolf, Fido. A dark, crimson hue clouded my vision. Desperately, I tried to invoke the rest spell, but my consciousness faded to black. I woke to an odd sensation on my face¡ªwet yet dry. It took me a couple of seconds of freezing panic to recognize that the big grey wolf that was licking my face was Fido. I then remembered everything going black, but my vision was unhued. ¡°You really ought to ask permission before getting touchy-feely,¡± a voice teased. It was Gloria, the edges of her lips upturned in what might qualify as a smile. ¡°Happened...?¡± I managed to utter, sitting up and realizing I was on a bed. A surprisingly soft one at that. Could it be Gloria''s? Manifestations come in many different shapes. ¡°You got handsy, I retaliated, and then you introduced your head to my table. Which, by the way, you owe me a replacement for,¡± she replied, setting a tray of fruits and a cup of coftea by the bed. ¡°Sorry?¡± I said and started eating. It didn¡¯t taste horrible, and I was famished. ¡°Why are you here?¡± Gloria said as she grabbed a stool and sat down beside the bed. It seemed like her guard finally had been lowered. Even the wolf had strayed from her side and snored happily in his bed. ¡°To see you,¡± I said. If I couldn¡¯t be honest in Purgatory, then it was no hope. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I saw you at the Inn, and¡­I don¡¯t know, but I just knew that I had to see you again. I..I can¡¯t explain it better.¡± I said and sat up against the wall. Then I remembered Merchant Imrin and the map. ¡°Why did the Merchant send me straight into a goblin ambush?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. But you were lucky I was close by, you fight like a one-armed ape,¡± she said and smiled again. She had humor, which was good. Even though it was on my behalf. I recorded it for a future Vicious Mockery. ¡°Once I¡¯m back in the village, he and I will have some words,¡± I said, sitting up straighter. ¡°Why are you here?¡± she asked again. I looked at her to see if she was joking, but she was dead serious. ¡°I told you. To see you.¡± ¡°No. What brought you here?¡± she emphasized, sweeping her arms wide. ¡°I... died and somehow woke up here,¡± I began. ¡°A wizard named Merlin told me I''m in a realm caught between life and death. This... Purgatory. To leave it, I''m tasked with defeating the Harbinger of Eternal Doom.¡± At the mention of the name, she abruptly stood. ¡°You''ve heard of HIM?¡± Her eyes widened. ¡°Like I said, Merlin, the wizard, filled me in.¡± She started to pace back and forth in the bedroom, whispering something to herself that I didn¡¯t catch. I sat there, looking at her walking like Scrooge McDuck for a while before she stopped, turned towards me, and nodded. ¡°Alright. You seem sincere. What do they call you?¡± ¡°Tim.¡± ¡°Alright, Tim. Your path to HIM lies through the realm portal, located at the heart of the charred forest. It''s closely guarded by Volcanic." The venom in her voice when she said ''Volcanic'' was palpable. "If it''s your fate to confront HIM, then confronting Volcanic is inevitable. I''m with you on this. However, as you stand now, he''ll crush you. You need to grow stronger, much stronger. Lupin''s guidance is invaluable. Listen to him; he''ll teach you to harness the full potential of your class. If you want rapid progress, though, you''ll have to rely on me." She paused, evaluating my reaction. I nodded in response, "I trust you." She took a deep breath, "That''s good to hear. Volcanic isn¡¯t working alone; he has a myriad of minions complicating things for the Highlanders. I''ve long suspected there''s a traitor within the city, aiding him. Today, I confirmed my suspicion." "Imrin?" I asked ¡°Yes. It is the only logical explanation for him sending you willingly to the goblin camp.¡± Gloria sat down on the stool again. ¡°What should we do about it?¡± ¡°We should use it to get to Volcanic¡­¡± Gloria looked out into the room, thinking, before she turned back to me. ¡°OK. This is what we¡¯ll do¡­¡± Dont Play the Player When I entered the village, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. They¡¯d probably already heard tales of the ill-fated bard who ventured into the forest and never came back. But not only had I returned, I even felt more powerful than ever. I¡¯d spent another day with Gloria. Between plotting against Volcanic, she showed me the prime spots for farming experience. She even escorted me to a high-level dungeon for a quick boost, where my main job was to stand back, avoid death, and watch her decimate foes before they could even lay a finger on her. Every so often, she''d whirl around and land a punch in my gut, slicing away a significant portion of my health. This allowed me to use Song of Rest to complete my quest, and with each punch, my resilience grew. By the last hit, I barely dropped to a knee, my vision tinted a shade more yellow than red. Alright, maybe it was orange, but that''s practically yellow, right? Approaching The Round, I drew curious glances from all directions. When Imrin saw me, his jovial chat with a customer came to an abrupt halt, his face resembling that of a White Walker. "Imrin, my favorite merchant! Gloria sends her regards," I said, extending a purse filled with coins. "For the supplies. She wanted me to settle her account." ¡°I¡­It¡¯s¡­I am so glad you have returned, Mr. Tim. I was afraid something bad had happened to you. You see¡­ I might have accidentally given you the wrong map.¡± Imrid said with a shaky voice. I chuckled, "No worries at all. In fact, you did me a huge favor." I rummaged through my backpack, which I''d taken from one of Gloria''s fallen adversaries, and theatrically produced Kliobl''s head, placing it on the counter. Imrin let out a horrified shriek and tumbled over, tripping on his own feet. "This is, or rather was, Kliobl. I couldn¡¯t believe my luck when I found him at the location you drew on my map, so I made sure to kill him. I believe the bounty was set at 100 Peng?" Lurin materialized on my left flank, his frosty gaze fixed intently on Imrin, fingers tightened around the hilt of his dagger. I subtly shook my head at him, signaling a silent plea for restraint as Imrin found his footing. "Eh... How... Well, uh, naturally," Imrin stammered, shakily fetching 100 Peng from a nearby box. "Here¡¯s your reward." "Much appreciated! I can¡¯t wait to work with you again." I looked at Lurin, who continued his cold scrutiny of the merchant. "Hey, master! I made it back in one piece!" I clapped him on the shoulder, successfully diverting his attention from Imrin back to me. "I think I''ve completed that task you handed me, yes?" ¡°Well, yes! I can tell you¡¯ve been in the thick of things since our last encounter. You seem... tougher, more seasoned. Come, follow me,¡± Lurin said and started walking towards his stall. I glanced over my shoulder as I followed Luring and noticed that Imrin had gotten some of his blood back north, to his face, but he never turned his back on us. This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°Now, give it to me straight. What happened!?¡± Lurin''s whisper when we got out of earshot from Imrin. *¡°He tried to kill me..¡± I said and told him the short version of what had happened since I left. ¡°¡­We believe he is in the lead with Volcanic, and we¡¯re going to find out. But to do this, we need your help.¡± I hoped Gloria¡¯s intuition was correct when she said Lurin was someone to trust. ¡°I''m in. Always had a hunch about that slippery merchant. So, what''s the plan?¡± I gave him the note that Gloria had written with detailed instructions. ¡°Read this. Carefully, and do exactly what it says.¡± ¡°I will. But before I forget. This scroll marks the completion of your quest.¡± Lurin gave me a scroll that I eagerly opened. Congratulations! You''ve triumphed in your quest and gained TWO levels. You now stand as a level seven bard of the Highland clan. This accomplishment grants you TWO new spells: Hurtful Heart and Suggestion. Hurtful Heart, invoked with the word ''Hurt,'' is a potent cantrip, but can be cast only once a day. Given its tremendous power, it''s best reserved for intense battles, and fearful foes. Suggestion, requires a lute to cast and allows you to command a creature for 100 breaths. However, it won''t work on undead or bosses. ¡°So! You are a Doss Lute bard¡­.Hmm..Surprising,¡± Lurin said and looked at me with a puzzled look. ¡°Boss what?¡± ¡°Doss Lute. The instrument picked you, and not the other way around. Normally you pick the instrument, THEN you get to learn a spell in that instrument¡¯s school. But you¡¯ve learned Suggestion, and that¡¯s a powerful Doss Lute spell. Please, give me a minute.¡± Lurin ducked into his tent, and I could hear him shuffling items around. When he re-emerged, he held an instrument. A wave of relief washed over me when I saw that it was the one that looked like a guitar and not a flute. Of all bardic instruments, it undoubtedly was the coolest. The Lute had a rich, mahogany body, its surface etched with delicate silver runes that sparkled faintly, even in the dim light. An ornate rosette encircled the sound hole, and its neck showcased intricate inlays in the shape of musical notes. The strings shimmered, hinting at their magical nature. ¡°Take good care of it. It will be more important than your weapons as you continue your journey as a bard. In fact, I have another quest for you if you are ready?¡± ¡°I¡¯m ready!¡± ¡°Good! Your next task is to venture into the Cave of Decay, located on the boundary between the Lush and Grey forest. At the cave''s deepest point lies a secluded pond, and in it lives a very special fish. When you play the Suggestion spell to it, command the fish to dive and fetch, and it will retrieve a treasure for you. While this may sound straightforward, be wary: this fish, known as Nemo, is revered as a divine entity by the fishmongers living nearby, and they zealously guard the cave. You''ll need to harness every skill at your disposal to reach Nemo." ¡°Nemo? For real? Are Dory there as well?¡± ¡°I know no fish named Dory.¡± ¡°Neither does she,¡± I mumbled. ¡°But how do I play the lute?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll know,¡± he said and punched me in the chest with his finger ¡°Trust your instincts, Mr. Tim. And remember the line: Dive and fetch. Without it, the Suggestion spell won¡¯t work.¡± "Alrighty then, catch you later!" I said, making my way back to the inn. As I settled into bed, my mind raced, hoping that Lurin had read the instructions carefully and was already implementing the plan Gloria and I had devised. I didn¡¯t sleep that night. Not because I was afraid of a fish named Nemo, or because I was excited about the trap we had set for Imrin. I couldn¡¯t sleep because of a girl with a long name called Gloria. Each time I closed my eyes I saw her smile in front of me, missing her touch when she punched me in my stomach. The trap, and a fish named Nemo Finding the cave of decay turned out to be a (uncomfortable) breeze. Partly because Gloria seemed to have the forest mapped out in her brain, leading me through every twist and turn¡ªmuch to the dismay of my already complaining legs. But mainly, the ungodly stench wafting from the cave acted as a beacon. I kept my nose dug into my smelly leather body armor, my own B.O. was perfume in comparison. Entering the cave, I followed the narrow pathway cut in stones that was spiraling downward. It wasn¡¯t long before I encountered the first of the fishmongers. Honestly, I¡¯d pictured something more... fishy? Instead, before me stood a creature slathered in ooze, wielding a stick that had seen better days and proudly displaying a whiskery gray beard. ¡°Schrkkk, shrkk!¡± ¡°Schreck, Schreck to you too. Listen, buddy, I¡¯ve got a meeting with a certain fish named Nemo. Ever heard of him?¡± Mr. Schreck didn¡¯t seem interested in cooperating and raised his stick to attack. Quickly, I invoked ward and unsheathed my trusty rapier. ¡°Grrglle grlgggele!¡± the creature blurted out, as a sinister green sphere began forming at the tip of its staff. Memories of my close call with Kliobl flashed before my eyes. In a burst of adrenaline, I lunged and bonked him on the head with the blunt side of my rapier. I mean, come on, who in their right mind could murder a senior citizen, even if they are weirdly slimy? But, as is the norm in this wonky realm, I quickly understood what a huge mistake that was. The elder fishmonger¡¯s staff hit me hard, and I fell, barely able to hold on to the edge, my feet treading air, and I could hear the fishmonger¡¯s footsteps closing in. ¡°HURT!¡± I bellowed, the word ricocheting throughout the cavern, no doubt alerting every creature within. The next sound was a soft thud, followed by silence. Gathering every ounce of what little power I had in my biceps, I hoisted myself back up, while muttering to myself, ¡°Why, oh why, couldn¡¯t I have awakened as a chiseled blood elf or, heck, even a semi-athletic dwarf?¡± Deep down, I knew why¡ªPurgatory was punishing me for my real-life unhealthiness. Now back on the path, all I found was a damp, slime-drenched pile of clothes. It appeared Mr. Fishmonger had left the building. I prepared a mockery and continued down the path. I had expected more enemies the closer I got to the bottom, but besides slimy Gandalf the Grey, I didn¡¯t meet anyone else. When I got to the bottom of the cave, the smell was so bad that each inhale felt like a series of razor blades scraping down my throat. Soon, the fabled pond loomed ahead. The resident fish certainly wasn¡¯t the cute and cuddly Nemo I¡¯d pictured. Instead, it was greener than a green screen, and if there ever was a competition for ¡®The Universe¡¯s Ugliest Fish,¡¯ this one would be its uncontested poster child. Finding a conveniently smooth stone by the water¡¯s edge, I perched myself and rummaged for the Doss Lute. Cradling the instrument on my lap, I gave it a dubious once-over. I had a brief stint as a guitar enthusiast back in the day, but my repertoire was limited to a grand total of three chords: G, C, and E-minor. And while my hours of jamming on Guitar Hero might¡¯ve made me a living room rockstar, it probably wouldn¡¯t contribute much here. Another problem was the fact that the neck wasn¡¯t straight. It had a ninety-degree at the end, and I had no idea how to play it. I remembered Lurin¡¯s words and how I miraculously had gathered a crowd with my singing in the Inn. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and just let my fingers roam. My right hand plucked the strings while my left moved without conscious thought. To my shock, the cave echoed with a semi-decent melody. I peeked down and, lo-and-behold, I was jamming on the Doss like a boss. Surprised by my awesomeness, I almost forgot why I was sitting at the bottom of a dank, smelly cavern, serenading a very unfortunate-looking fish. Looking over, I noticed Nemo the Hulk floating serenely near the surface, captivated by my performance. Channeling my inner rock star, I sang, ¡°Dive and fetch.¡± And even if it wasn¡¯t Grammy-worthy, it sounded rather decent in the cave¡¯s acoustics. Maybe not U2-level, but hey, not everyone can be Bono. The fish dived, and I stopped playing. I was standing staring at the pond, waiting for Nemo to surface, when I got that unmistakable feeling of being watched. Whispering a quick ¡°Ward¡±, I slowly pivoted to meet the gaze of none other than Imrin, and next to him was the biggest creature on two legs I¡¯d ever seen. ¡°Hi, Tim,¡± Imrin sneered, flashing a wolfish grin. ¡°Imrin? Seriously? Here? Now?¡± I cast a quick and wary glance at the behemoth beside him. ¡°I know that you and Gloria have been working together to trick me. My good friend Lurin told me everything. I have read the letter, and I can¡¯t let the two of you destroy what we¡¯re trying to achieve.¡± Imrin tried to put on a glum face, but his eyes told the truth. He enjoyed this. I swallowed, trying to mask the sudden unease. ¡°And the demon spawn?¡± ¡°This is Grom,¡± Imrin said with a hint of pride, patting the beast¡¯s shaggy leg. ¡°And let me tell you, he¡¯s as strong as they come. You¡¯re seriously outmatched. I mean, the only spell that could even touch him is Hurtful Heart, and... oops! You wasted it on the wizard.¡± Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. So, the fishmonger wasn¡¯t just a regular NPC, which gave me some consolidation in using the once-a-day spell on him. If not, I would¡¯ve probably been swimming with Nemo for eternity. ¡°Can¡¯t the good people of Highland just live their lives without your constant meddling?¡± I said, shifting my position slightly so my back wasn¡¯t against the pond. I still didn¡¯t trust that fish. ¡°We do it for the people! They are safe under our control,¡± Imrin shot back, his facade of calmness cracking. ¡°Oh, please,¡± I scoffed, rolling my eyes. ¡°When you spin a yarn, at least put some effort into it.¡± I caught the subtle sound of a splash from the pond behind me. ¡°Hold that thought, Mr. Villain. Sounds like my fishy pals come through.¡± Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the green fish proudly presenting a massive, ornate chest, disregarding Newton¡¯s law on gravity. Shuffling over to the loot, I could sense Imrin¡¯s irritation boiling over. ¡°Grom! Strike now!¡± He barked, but I didn¡¯t flinch. ¡°Hold on a sec,¡± I said cheerily, without even bothering to face them. Flipping open the lid, my eyes landed on a gleaming belt. The thing radiated a brilliant yellow light, and I instinctively knew this wasn¡¯t just any belt. This was special¡ªThe first ever rare item I¡¯d seen. Imrin grew more frantic. ¡°GROM, ATTACK NOW!¡± Casually fastening the belt around my waist, I finally turned to face them, a smirk playing on my lips. ¡°Grom won¡¯t do anything,¡± I said and walked over to the Brute that was three times my height and twenty times my mass, and kicked him as hard as I could between the legs. He didn¡¯t flinch. ¡°What¡¯s going on he¡­¡± ¡°Hush. Listen,¡± I whispered, and as if on cue, the cave bathed in an enchanting melody. It was so mesmerizing that I could feel goosebumps forming all over. Out of the corner of my eye, Gloria and Lurin materialized as if stepping out from a veil. Gloria had used her cloak spell on herself and Lurin, who was playing the flute. Lurin¡¯s flute, once a subject of my mockery, now produced notes so beautiful they seemed otherworldly. ¡°What is this?!¡± Imrin stuttered and stared at the three of us with wide eyes. ¡°This, my dear merchant, is how you set a proper trap,¡± I replied smugly. ¡°Perhaps you¡¯ll remember this: Never send someone into the lion¡¯s den unless you¡¯re certain they won¡¯t come out.¡± His face paled. ¡°I never meant for any of this to...¡± ¡°Enough!¡± Gloria snapped, closing the distance between her and Imrin in the blink of an eye. The frosty edge of her knife pressed gently against his skin, just enough to draw a single bead of blood that glistened on its surface. ¡°I¡¯d advise against any sudden movements, including that wagging tongue of yours,¡± I said, my eyes darting to Lurin, who continued his haunting melody. He gave me a quick nod, beads of sweat running down his face. I knew I had to hurry. ¡°Do you know what distinguishes the righteous from the wicked?¡± I asked. Imrin started to speak, but Gloria applied more pressure, and a slow ooze of red dripped from her blade. ¡°Did you not hear me the first time? Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut!¡± I snapped. ¡°Gloria, perhaps he¡¯s eager for a swift end. Maybe we should just oblige?¡± She tightened her grip, and Imrin¡¯s eyes widened in terror, his body frozen in place. ¡°Good, now you understand. See, I¡¯m in a bit of a Catch 22. You¡¯re cozy with Volcanic and you¡¯ve got the knowledge we need. But we also know you¡¯d scamper off to your overlord the second we let you go. Quite the quandary, don¡¯t you think?¡± I gestured to Gloria, who eased the pressure on her blade ever so slightly. ¡°Speak!¡± I said. ¡°I¡­I promise not to tell anyone. I¡¯ll give you everything you need if you let me go. I promise on my mother¡¯s grave!¡± Imrin begged. ¡°OK. Then spill it.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right; I¡¯m working for Volcanic. His ambition? Dominating the forest. You¡¯ll find him at the heart of the charred forest. I swear on my mother¡¯s grave that it¡¯s the truth. Let me go, and our paths will never cross again.¡± I looked at Gloria, then at Lurin, before I looked at Imrin again. I breathed out and shook my head slowly. ¡°Frankly, I always knew you weren¡¯t the sharpest tool in the shed, but I hoped you¡¯d grasp the gravity of this moment. Clearly, you¡¯re still trying to play games.¡± I turned to Lurin. ¡°Ready?¡± He gave a firm nod in response. ¡°Grom, grab Imrin and lift him up,¡± I said. Immediately, Grom grabbed Imrin in a tight grip and lifted him over his head. Imrin¡¯s screams echoed through the cave, his feet flailing about like a distressed marionette. ¡°Grom, hold Imrin over the pond.¡± Grom did. ¡°STOP! Please! I¡¯ll reveal everything! I report to F?nix¡ªhe¡¯s Volcanic¡¯s right hand. He¡¯s stationed within the charred forest. I can lead you to him!¡± ¡°Grom lower Imrin two feet.¡± I said, and Imrin slowly descended towards the pond. Nemo bared his teeth, and the sight sent shivers down my spine. The fish¡¯s gaping maw seemed impossibly vast, and if it got hold of anything, it would tear it to shreds in moments, not unlike a ravenous piranha. ¡°I don¡¯t recall asking for a tour guide,¡± I remarked coldly. ¡°I want F?nix¡¯s location. This is it, Imrin ¡ª your last shot. I¡¯m not sure how high Nemo can leap, but I¡¯d wager he¡¯d reach you if I tell Grom to lower you just a tad more.¡± ¡°PLEASE! DON¡¯T!¡± Imrin¡¯s voice broke in terror as Grom surprisingly took it as a command and descended him even closer. In a frenzied flash, Nemo lunged, narrowly missing his mark. ¡°So, are you going to spill, or should I give Grom the go-ahead?¡± ¡°NO! He lives on the eastern side of the charred forest. In the old town of Beetleville.¡± Imrin cried, and the tone of his voice told me that this time he told the truth. ¡°And the lieutenants? How many?¡± ¡°Two. F?nix and his sister Pyrola. They¡¯re Volcanic¡¯s apparitions.¡± ¡°Where¡¯s Pyrola?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, I swear! I only deal with F?nix. But be aware, he is dangerous, and he has several fire imps around him. They might seem small, but they are powerful. I¡¯ve heard Pyrola is even worse.¡± Imrin said. ¡°Grom put Imrin down on the ground.¡± Grom did as instructed. I didn¡¯t know how long Lurin could hold the suggestion spell going, but the power of the spell impressed me. I had controlled a fish, but that had spent most of my mana. He¡¯d controlled a mountain of a beat for a long time. ¡°Grom, make your way out of this cave as fast as you can,¡± I ordered. The hulking figure hurriedly made his ascent, leaving echoing footfalls in his wake. Imrin remained motionless, rooted to the spot where Grom had placed him. Once the resonating steps of Grom faded, Lurin ceased playing the flute and collapsed, exhaustion evident in every line of his face. I dashed to his side, concern gnawing at me. Despite his fatigue, he managed a weak grin. ¡°That took more out of me than I expected. I¡¯ll be alright, but I need your help to get out.¡± ¡°Alright, Imrin, listen up,¡± I began, addressing the trembling merchant. ¡°You¡¯re going to help get Lurin back to the village. Once there, you¡¯ll express an urgent need to depart. Make up a convincing reason. And if our paths cross again, or if I even catch wind of your name, I promise I¡¯ll personally introduce you to Nemo¡¯s jaws. Understood?¡± Paralyzed with fear, Imrin could only manage a nod. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. ¡°What happened to Grom?¡± I asked, our glasses clinking together, echoing in the inn. Lurin sat beside me, nursing a beer in each hand. Across from me sat Gloria, an enigmatic presence as always. ¡°I don¡¯t know. The powerful suggestion spell erases any memory of the experience," Lurin replied, taking a swig that would impress a thirsty elephant. "Good, I''d hate to have him show up at my door looking to give my family jewels a good kicking," I quipped. My laughter felt forced, the mental image of that painful scenario all too real. ¡°Ha! Then you would be useless for me!¡± Gloria said before she stopped, Her eyes widened, and her yellow skin went insta-sunburned. She stood up so fast that the chair fell over. ¡°I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom.¡± ¡°Looks like someone''s got a crush!¡± Lurin cackled, polishing off his fifth beer in record time. My gaze followed Gloria as she zigzagged toward the restroom. She was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, no doubt. But the bigger question loomed: was she into me? ¡°Ah, almost slipped my mind, Tim! Your quest, it''s done. Catch!¡± Lurin chucked a scroll onto our beer-splattered table. Snatching it before it became a soggy mess, I unfurled the parchment. Congratulations! You''ve completed your quest. Your reward: the rare Girdle of Melody. I blinked at the words, then shifted my gaze to a buzzed Lurin. ¡°This is it?¡± ¡°That''s a killer belt, man!¡± Lurin bellowed, flagging down the bartender for another round. Gloria reappeared from the restroom. We exchanged smiles, but her eyes skittered away almost instantly. Tucking the scroll into my pocket, I sighed. No level bump. Stuck at level seven. I''d sell my soul for an XP bar right about now. ¡°So, what''s next on the agenda?¡± Lurin, words slurring like a mudslide, said, ¡°Reinforcements are on the way.¡± "Reinforcements?" ¡°Yes. We are dealing with fire elementals, and need all the help we can get.¡± And, on cue, as everything in this scripted world seems to be, the door to the inn opened wide, and an old man wearing a pointy hat appeared in the hole where the door had been. ¡°Merlin!¡± I yelped, the pitch of my voice reaching a level best described as ''teenage enthusiasm.'' ¡°Mr. Tim, uh.. Tim, my friend Lurin, and the ever so beautiful Glorimrinelyn. So nice to see you all again.¡± Merlin said as he came over to us and sat down at the table. ¡°You can call me Mr. Tim,¡± I said, dropping my voice to what I hoped was a manly baritone to (over)compensate for my earlier squeal. "What brings you here?" ¡°Lurin called for me. So, friends, what can I do for you?¡± "We''re taking down Volcanic," Lurin blurted, louder than intended. The chatter that had been mere background noise ceased entirely. Saying that name out loud had a way of throwing a wet blanket over any Highland conversation. ¡°So¡­ My apprentice has finally grown up to become a tough hero, right?¡± Merlin said and punched my shoulder so hard that I almost fell off the stool. He was insanely strong for a flimsy dude, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact I was buzzed. ¡°Not that tough,¡± Gloria said, almost as if a thought had slipped past her lips. Lurin and Merlin started to laugh. Gloria looked at me, a smile tugging at her lips. ¡°Listen up!¡± Merlin said and leaned in towards the center of the table. We leaned in as he continued in a low voice. ¡°There are ears everywhere. Ears that work for Volcanic, so we need to be careful.¡± Merlin looked around, I did the same. It didn¡¯t seem like anyone cared about us, except for the Innkeeper who was looking in our direction, but I had started to trust that stubborn geezer. ¡°To battle Volcanic while he''s near the gate is suicidal,¡± Merlin continued, his voice tinged with urgency. ¡°He gains his power from the force there. You''d need an army of Duckville''s finest just to tickle him.¡± I couldn''t resist. ¡°What''s ''the force''? Is it like...?¡± I waved my hand, mimicking a Jedi mind trick. The ale really was doing a number on my decision-making. ¡°It''s the lifeblood of Purgatory, connecting all realms,¡± Gloria explained. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. Merlin, eyes alight, jumped back in. ¡°Exactly. The force emanates from the very core of this world. Gates made of this force connect realms, and gatekeepers who stay near them become exponentially stronger. That''s why each realm has its own gatekeeper. Highland''s went rogue, and frankly, we never stood a chance against him from the start.¡± I sat up straighter, my worlds spinning. ¡°Wait, Volcanic was Highland''s gatekeeper?¡± ¡°He was, until ambition got the better of him. Now he''s a rogue elemental still tethered to the force, but not officially a gatekeeper.¡± ¡°So, why not send another gatekeeper to squash him like a bug?¡± Merlin sighed. ¡°Highland isn''t a top priority. Gatekeepers can''t abandon their posts. Other realms have power players who can challenge rogue gatekeepers. Here, we''re somewhat... understaffed. There''s Lurin, Gloria, yours truly, and now¡ª¡± ¡°¡ªA noob hero,¡± I cut in, not needing to hear the rest. Merlin nodded. ¡°So, how do we lure him from the gate?¡± ¡°He has two Achilles heels: F?nix and Pyrola,¡± Merlin said. All eyes at the table met. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Lurin jumped in. ¡°We''re ahead of you there. We know where F?nix is. We''d planned a little day trip to the Charred Forest to introduce ourselves.¡± Merlin looked shocked. ¡°I must say, that is impressive. I don¡¯t even know his location. I only know that he is an apparition of Volcanic, and together with his sister Pyrola, they are his, well, in a way children. But they also control the charred forest. They make sure everything is taken care of so Volcanic doesn¡¯t have to disconnect from the force. ¡°How far away from the gate do we have to lure him?¡± I asked ¡°I¡¯m not sure. My best guess is to get him out of eyesight to the gate.¡± Merlin continued: ¡°But you can¡¯t go against F?nix and Pyrola as you are. They are very powerful, and even if all of you fought together, I don¡¯t think you would have a chance.¡± Merlin stopped and paused for a long time before he continued. ¡°OK, listen carefully. The problem with Voclanics apparitions is that they are pure elementals. But this is also their weakness. They only belong to one magic school ¨C Fire. Their fire magic is stronger than anyone with multiple schools, like me.¡± Images of Kliobl''s fireball chasing my tail flashed through my mind. Water counters fire," Merlin continued, reclaiming his showman tone. "And I''ve got a spell that might just level the playing field. But you need to get me something first." Of course, it¡¯s never that easy¡­ ¡°What?¡± growled Gloria. ¡°Ten ice crystals. The kind that never melts. You''ll find ''em atop Mt. High, snug in caves,¡± Merlin clarified, his voice as casual as if he''d asked for a pint of milk. Another cave. I sighed. ¡°And I guess there¡¯s a catch?¡± ¡°A catch?¡± Merlin asked. ¡°Yes, as in what nightmarish critter is guarding these magical ice cubes?¡± ¡°Ah, yes, the caves are the yetis'' domain. Yetis are fierce creatures, and don¡¯t get tricked by their nice and fluffy exterior.¡± I was starting to get a good handle on the fine print of this place. ¡°Where is this Mt. High?¡± I asked, and decided, again, that the creator of this world needed a better name generator. ¡°It¡¯s not far. But the climb is dangerous. And the weather is rough up there.¡± Gloria said. ¡°We need to prepare for cold weather and heavy winds.¡± She stood up and walked towards the door before she stopped and looked over her shoulder at me. ¡°What are you waiting for?¡± As I began to rise, Merlin''s palm planted itself on my shoulder, grounding me back into the seat. His gaze carried a weight I hadn''t seen before. ¡°Keep an eye on Glorimrinelyn. When it comes to facing her family''s killer, she''s got a fuse shorter than a goblin.¡± ¡°Wait, her family''s killer?¡± ¡°Yes, when Volcanic took the gate, he scorched a huge part of the surrounding area. Her husband and kids were sleeping in the cabin when it happened. She was outside hunting.¡± It was like someone flipped the switch on a mental lightbulb. No wonder her temper ran hotter than a dragon''s breath. ¡°We will,¡± Lurin said,¡± and he almost sounded sober. ¡°But first we need to rest. Thank you, Merlin. I will contact you again when we have the crystals. Tim: Rest up and meet at The Round at sunrise.¡± ¡°OK!¡± ¡°And remember to bring some warm clothes.¡± ¡°Um... this is all I''ve got,¡± I gestured to the ensemble I''d been sporting since my time here¡ªwell, except for that unfortunate stint in Martha''s cellar. ¡°OK. I¡¯ll bring you something. See you tomorrow.¡± Lurin said and walked. ¡°So, my dear apprentice. Are you ready for this?¡± Merlin said as the door shut behind Lurin. ¡°I''m as ready as I''ll ever be, which is to say¡ªnot very. But I''ve got to step up, don''t I?¡± Merlin gave a solemn nod. ¡°Yes, I believe this is your destiny, Mr. Tim. It certainly feels that way. Continue honing your skills¡ªyour swordsmanship, your mastery of Doss, and your cantrips. They''ll all come in handy.¡± I nodded, feeling reassured by Merlin''s presence. ¡°Now, I''ve got something for you that might give you an edge.¡± Merlin rummaged through his coat pocket before producing a peculiar bracelet. It shimmered yellow and featured a circle etched into its surface. ¡°I had intended to give this to you once you reached level ten, but circumstances call for a change in plans. You can activate it twice a day¡ªit resets at sunrise and sunset.¡± ¡°How does it work?¡± ¡°Touch the circle three times and it will shoot magic into your bloodstream, making you much stronger. This is best used in conjunction with your physical abilities.¡± Finally, something that made me a big mean beating machine. I wanted to try it at once. ¡°But exercise caution when using it, Mr. Tim. It''s potent magic that drains your body''s energy, leaving you fatigued once the effects wear off.¡± Naturally, there was a caveat. ¡°Understood.¡± ¡°I must be off, Mr. Tim. Take good care, and I look forward to our next meeting.¡± Without waiting for my reply, Merlin swept out of the inn. It seemed like an appropriately dramatic exit for a wizard named Merlin. I felt a mix of emotions: excitement about the quest ahead and my new magical accessory, but also a sense of sorrow for Gloria. Anger swelled within me, fueling my determination to undertake this mission, especially for her sake. As I made to leave, the innkeeper approached me. ¡°Will that be all?¡± he inquired. ¡°Yes, thank you,¡± I said, patting him on the shoulder. ¡°Very well. That''ll be 25 Peng.¡± I glanced towards the door¡ªthose tightwads. Its all about the climb. And the crystals. And the... I looked up toward our snowy destination and braced myself for the cold climb ahead. ¡°Are you ready?¡± Lurin asked, not waiting for a reply before taking the lead. I followed suit, and Gloria brought up the rear. Aside from one near-disastrous slip that would¡¯ve sent me plummeting 600 feet¡ªthankfully averted by Gloria¡¯s quick reflexes, followed by a full ten minutes of yelling¡ªthe climb was fairly uneventful. After three hours of trekking, we reached the mountain¡¯s snowy expanse. Lurin paused to hand me my bizarre attire: a multicolored, puffy snowsuit that made me look like a rejected circus act. As ridiculous as I felt, the outfit was effective; I was sweating within minutes. I¡¯d been secretly hoping to encounter some sort of adversary on the way up, eager to test my new trinket, which seemed to pulse impatiently on my wrist. I decided to use it on the first enemy I encountered, be it a snow monster or even a Yeti baby. OK¡­I wouldn¡¯t have used it on a Yeti baby. I¡¯m not a baby-killing kind of dwarf. As I crested the summit, my relief was short-lived. The flat mountain top was pocked with so many caves it resembled Swiss cheese. ¡°Wow, there are a lot of them,¡± I remarked, straining to hear any signs of life. All that met my ears, however, was the haunting wail of the wind. ¡°We should probably split up,¡± Lurin suggested. Just like that, my newfound courage seemed to drain away, as if vanishing down one of the mountain¡¯s many holes. Until now, I¡¯d felt bolstered by Gloria and Lurin¡¯s presence, but the prospect of facing the unknown alone was daunting. ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s wise? Yetis might not be easy to tackle,¡± I countered. ¡°Heh, Yetis aren¡¯t that tough. I¡¯ve been killing them since I was ten. My dad was a Yeti fur trader,¡± Gloria said. Her eyes flickered from pride to melancholy as she mentioned her father. It was the first time she¡¯d ever spoken about her family. ¡°OK¡­Any tips?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get caught,¡± Gloria said and looked at Lurin, who nodded agreeingly. ¡°Let¡¯s go while we still have daylight. I¡¯ll take the big cave on the left.¡± ¡°Are you OK with going alone?¡± Lurin asked. No! Not at all! Please go with me! ¡°Yes, of course!¡± I said and bee-lined for the smallest cave I could find. Note to self: A narrow opening doesn¡¯t necessarily lead to a small cave. Darkness enveloped me quickly, forcing me to cast Light just to see where I was stepping. I burned through half of my mana potions, maintaining the illumination as I ventured deeper into the expansive cavern, and the stone walls grew increasingly rugged the further I went. I had no idea what a Yeti looked like in Highland, but thanks to World of WarCraft, I was keeping an eye out for massive, white, furry beings. Instead, the first Yeti I literally bumped into was gremlin-sized with brown fur, almost invisible in the dim light. Its eyes had a sharply pointed shape, and it had a set of dangerously long claws for "hands". For a split second, I wondered how challenging it must be for the creature to pick its nose or, heaven forbid, scratch its eye. ¡°Fssikkkll, Fsiikklll!¡± it shrieked, its call resembling a dolphin¡¯s, but without the charm. Then it began to rotate its arms wildly, reminiscent of an old Cessna propeller. I activated my bracelet, immediately feeling a surge of energy pulse through me¡ªas if I¡¯d just downed fifty cans of Monster, but far more intense and without the nauseating aftertaste. With my rapier poised, the foolish Yeti charged, spinning its arms right into my waiting blade. Both arms were severed, leaving just a pair of stubs flailing like a malfunctioning teddy bear. It let out an even louder scream before I quickly dispatched it. I stood there, surveying the now-lifeless creature at my feet. Despite the lingering rush of energy, I felt let down; the battle had been easy. Eager to make the most of the remaining adrenaline, I hurried deeper into the cave. Barely twelve feet in, my eyes caught sight of a crystal protruding from the wall, its vivid blue in stark contrast to the surrounding dark stone. I seized it just as the energy rush subsided. The come-down felt like what I imagined the aftermath of a fifty-can energy drink binge would be¡ªonly worse. I slumped against the cave wall, catching my breath and waiting for the bracelet¡¯s lingering effects to dissipate. After stowing the crystal in my bag, I resumed my trek, though my legs felt like I¡¯d just finished an ultra. Soon, a rumbling sound echoed through the cave, growing louder, as if a stampede of angry bulls were charging from the depths. It wasn¡¯t bulls, but it was a stampede¡ªof sorts. Seven Yetis filled the width of the cave, their arms flailing like threshing machines. ¡°You call that an attack? I¡¯ve seen dead kittens hit harder!¡± I yelled, targeting the Yeti closest to the wall, hoping that a swift, decisive strike would create an opening in their formation, allowing me to sidestep the remaining flurry of arms. It worked. Drawing my rapier, I rolled through the gap while simultaneously casting Ward. My blade met fur, and the second Yeti collapsed. That left ¡°only¡± five more. I considered using Hurt, but I didn¡¯t want to waste the precious spell on these dirty fur propellers, learning from my encounter with Imrin. Twenty-five breaths. ¡°Your fur looks like a failed Pinterest project!¡± I shouted. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. Four left, and they had me surrounded. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I lunged at the nearest Yeti. My outburst must¡¯ve startled them, as there was a brief halt in their chaotic arm-waving. Seizing the opportunity, I barreled into one, landing on top and quickly rolling away. Three remained, and for the first time, I saw doubt flicker in the eyes of my furry assailants. With another self-encouraging scream, I lunged again, and they retreated. I pumped my fist into the air¡ªfinally; I felt like a real fighter. But then, one Yeti paused his running, looked over his shoulder, and I could swear that there was sheer panic in its small eyes. A deep, guttural sound reverberated from behind me, vibrating through my core, just as I sensed a presence invading my personal space. My rapier still gripped tightly, I cast Ward again and spun around, taking a defensive stance. At first, I thought I was staring at two tree trunks. Tracing them upward, I realized they were legs¡ªattached to a massive creature. It looked like a nightmare cross between a bear and an ogre, covered in fur and muscle, with tusks protruding from its gaping maw. The sight paralyzed me just long enough for it to seize me, pinning my arms like King Kong, holding a distressed damsel. Defenseless, it lifted me off my feet. ¡°You¡¯re so ugly, even a troll would swipe left!¡± I rasped through crushed lungs, wincing as I heard the unsettling crack of my ribs before I felt the pain. I glanced up and saw that my insult had barely made a dent in his health. ¡°Hurt,¡± I wheezed with what little air left in my lungs. The spell¡¯s impact was substantial enough that it caused him to drop me. ¡°Rest,¡± I said as I plummeted back toward the ground. An unfortunate side effect of the Hurt spell was that it made him mad. Really mad. I tried to stand up, but I was too hurt. I narrowly dodged his first stomping attack by rolling, but ended up pinned against the cave wall with nowhere else to go. When I saw the giant foot obstruct the view of the owner, I did the only thing a hero can do when about to be trampled to death by a giant in a hidden cave on the top of a stupidly named mountain in a place called Purgatory. I closed my eyes. Squeezing them shut, and waited for the inevitable pain of being smudged like a bug by a giant. Instead, a familiar tune filled the cave. ¡°Get up, Tim!¡± another familiar voice called out¡ªGloria. She vaulted onto the giant and began scaling the massive creature like a cliff face. I caught the panicked look in Lurin¡¯s eyes as he played his flute; he wouldn¡¯t be able to keep the giant entranced much longer. Ignoring the pain, I grabbed my Doss lute, which had miraculously survived the onslaught, and began harmonizing with Lurin. In moments, our tunes aligned, and I saw Lurin¡¯s expression ease. That¡¯s when I heard Gloria¡¯s battle cry from high atop the giant¡¯s head. The saying ¡®the bigger they are, the harder they fall¡¯ holds particular truth in a cramped cave. I rolled against the wall, clutching my Doss lute, narrowly evading the giant¡¯s collapsing hand, which crashed to the ground just above me. ¡°Gloria! Lurin!¡± I shouted into the now-quiet cave. ¡°Over here!¡± a voice responded after what felt like an eternity but was probably mere seconds. I maneuvered around the colossal corpse to find Lurin standing near Gloria. At first, I couldn¡¯t make sense of what she was doing¡ªit looked as though she was rubbing against the giant¡¯s flank. But when the creature burst open, emitting a foul, death-like stench, it clicked: she had gutted it. Then, astonishingly, she climbed inside the giant. ¡°Wha¡­what is happening? Why¡­ARE YOU ALL MAD!?¡± I yelled at Lurin, who stood smiling like a twelve-year-old on Christmas Eve. ¡°Wait a moment, Tim. Just wait and see¡­¡± He didn¡¯t look at me when he said it, just staring at the gaping wound in the giant that Gloria had just entered with a big grin on his face. After another hour that wasn¡¯t an hour, I heard and saw something moving inside the corpse. Suddenly she came out, holding something in her arms. Everything was red, but when she dropped it to the ground, I could see what it was. Ice crystals. A lot of them. ¡°This is one of the ancient Giants. Do you know how rare it is to see one!?¡± Gloria said excitedly, smiling, looking like Carry in the Stephen King movie after they had covered her with blood on the theatre stage. ¡°No?¡± ¡°Most people believed these giants had vanished from existence. This one might have been the last of its kind,¡± Lurin explained. ¡°They were once the rulers of this mountain and generated ice crystals within their bodies. And Tim, do you realize that this was a level twenty creature?¡± I shook my head. ¡°There¡¯s more inside,¡± Gloria announced before darting back into the cavity of the giant. She made several trips, each time returning with a handful of ice crystals until a small mountain of them lay before us. ¡°So, how do we get these down the mountain?¡± I asked. ¡°We don¡¯t,¡± Lurin replied, to which Gloria responded with a knowing smile. ¡°What? Why go to all this trouble if we¡¯re not bringing them back with us?¡± ¡°Because they¡¯ll vanish along with the body,¡± Lurin said as we watched the giant¡¯s corpse disintegrate. The speed of its decomposition astounded me; within a matter of seconds, it vanished, leaving behind only the pile of crystals. ¡°The Yetis will take care of these. We only need to take the ten we require.¡± I opened my mouth to say something, but decided there was nothing to say. Another surreal day in a strange world. I shook my head and grabbed nine crystals. ¡°You need one more,¡± Gloria said, the once-red blood now resembling dark chocolate as it dried on her skin. ¡°No, I got one from earlier,¡± I said. ¡°Well done, Tim! Well done!¡± Lurin said. ¡°I knew there was something special about you. OK, let¡¯s get down to DuckVille before it gets too dark.¡± The journey downhill was significantly quicker than our ascent, though it took a toll on my knees. Halfway down, Lurin abruptly stopped and pulled a scroll out of his bag. ¡°I almost forgot. This is for you,¡± he said, before rejoining Gloria. I let them move ahead as I unfurled the scroll to read its contents. Congratulations! You have successfully completed your quest and have reached level eight as a bard of the Highland clan. Your achievement has granted you a new skill: Singing Blade. This skill can only be used with a one-handed blade and lasts for 10 breaths, attacking all enemies within range. To summon the Singing Blade, strike a note on your Doss Lute and say the command word, ¡°Singblade.¡± The skill will need to recharge for 250 breaths before it can be used again. At first, I was thrilled¡ªuntil I reached the part that said the skill had to be summoned using the Doss Lute. How was I supposed to do that? I picked up my Doss Lute and plucked a string as high as it would go. ¡°Singblade!¡± I sang. I didn¡¯t feel my rapier leave its sheath, but I saw it floating in midair in front of me, its point eagerly seeking a target. ¡°HECK YEAH! THAT¡¯S SUCH A COOL SKILL! FINALLY!¡± I yelled, the echo reverberating off the mountain. Gloria and Lurin came rushing back, halting when they saw my blade suspended in midair, searching for someone to attack. Then it shot toward Gloria. ¡°NO!!¡± I screamed. Gloria barely dodged it before it turned and went for Lurin. But just before it reached him, it disappeared, and I was seeing spots after hyperventilating to the tenth breath. ¡°What are you doing?! Are you trying to kill us?¡± Gloria yelled, storming toward me. As she came closer, I noticed blood on her arm¡ªmy rapier had grazed her. ¡°You have blood on your¡ª¡± was all I managed to say before the world went black. Point of No Return I blinked open my eyes, my face squashed against what felt like a damp sack of jellybeans. The memory came flooding back: getting clocked by Gloria and nursing my shiner with this makeshift ice pack. I vowed to never whip out Singing Blade in the company of friends again. A knock jolted me from my contemplation. Hauling myself up, I ambled to the door, bracing for the innkeeper¡¯s gruff face. Instead, a trio of surprised eyes greeted me. Gloria, never one for formalities, bulldozed her way in, leaving me skidding on the wooden floor in nothing more than my underwear. That wouldn¡¯t hurt from seeing some soap. ¡°Took you long enough! We¡¯ve been waiting downstairs forever!¡± she said. In a mad scramble, I attempted to dress, twirling in a comedic ballet before I finally trapped both legs in my trousers. ¡°Where¡¯s the stash?¡± she pressed. ¡°Right over there,¡± I motioned towards the bag, which leaned lazily against an antique bed, reminiscent of something from a 19th-century period drama, probably ¡®Pride and Prejudice.¡¯. ¡°Ah, the tales of your escapades have reached even my ears, Mr. Tim. A Giant! Quite the feather in your cap,¡± Merlin mused, inspecting the crystals with interest. ¡°It is commendable that you left the surplus crystals on the mountain.¡± ¡°Well, actually, Glo¡­¡± I began, but a swift elbow to the ribs halted my confession. Merlin, engrossed in with the crystals, cocked his head. ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°Just reminiscing about the mountain air,¡± I covered quickly, throwing a glance at Gloria. She still looked mad, but she didn¡¯t have the same hateful look as she had on the mountain the moment before she knocked me out. ¡°Right then. Give me till twilight, and your spell will be ready.¡± Merlin began arranging the crystals methodically on the table, alongside an array of strangely labeled vials that looked suspiciously like repurposed soda bottles. He flashed us a grin that clearly said ¡®it¡¯s time for the magicians to do magiciany things¡¯. ¡°A little space for the master at work, if you¡¯d be so kind.¡± Reaching for my bag, Gloria unexpectedly yanked me out of the room. Seriously, was this the medieval fantasy equivalent of ¡®pulling pigtails¡¯? Memories of schoolyard antics flitted across my mind. Was she flirting with me, or was that my concussion talking? Back at The Round, Imrin and his cart had pulled a vanishing act. Villagers ambled about, eyebrows raised in curiosity, likely conjuring up tales of where he¡¯d dashed off to while they continued their predictable NPC routine. ¡°So, what¡¯s the plan?¡± Gloria asked me when we were sitting inside Lurin¡¯s tent. The tent was a study in minimalism¡ªjust a bed and a central fireplace. With every move we made, the bed creaked and groaned, and I swear I saw Lurin silently praying. ¡°Eh, I don¡¯t know. Go to the old town and fight F?nix?¡± Luri rubbed his chin. ¡°Yes. But we need to be prepared. We don¡¯t know what spell Merlin is cooking for us,¡± he said and looked at Gloria and me. ¡°We need to do whatever we can to be prepared for whatever will meet us, and we need a lot of Aqua Vita and Aqua Vigour.¡± ¡°I know how to make healing potions, but I don¡¯t know how to make mana potions,¡± I said. They both looked at me strangely. ¡°Aqua Vita and Aqua Vigour,¡± I sighed. ¡°You¡¯ll need the essence of Vigour. They are found within the enchanted forest.¡± Lurin said. ¡°Where¡¯s that?¡± ¡°On the opposite side of Mt. High. If you and Glorimrinelyn head there to gather essences, I¡¯ll venture to the lush forest for the flowers,¡± Lurin replied. Before he finished the sentence, Gloria was on her feet. ¡°We have to move fast if we want to beat the sunset,¡± she exclaimed, swiftly grabbing my collar, hoisting me up. ¡°Alright, alright, on our way,¡± I mumbled, trailing out of the tent behind her. Casting a glance back, I caught Lurin perched on the bed, his smirk all too evident. That bastard. We navigated the winding path that led deeper into the enchanted forest. The crunch of leaves underfoot and the soft glow of the twin moons above set a serene yet tense atmosphere. Gloria moved with a natural ease, her eyes scanning the environment as if reading an old but cherished book. ¡°You¡¯re comfortable here,¡± I said, ¡°as if the forest recognizes you.¡± Gloria simply nodded. ¡°If you respect the forest, it respects you back. Just like any relationship should work.¡± That seemed like the perfect segue. ¡°Speaking of relationships, I¡¯ve been curious about you and your father.¡± Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. Her pace slowed, and for a moment, a veil of hardness covered her eyes. ¡°Some things are better left in the past, Tim.¡± ¡°Is that how it¡¯s going to be? Dodging around each other¡¯s history? I want to know more about you,¡± I said, not hiding my frustration. Gloria stopped, turning to face me squarely. ¡°My past is just that¡ªmy past. And it¡¯s my choice to keep it there.¡± Here was my dilemma, etched in the dim moonlight and our locked gazes. Push her to open up and risk her pulling away, or respect her boundaries, but forever wonder? I made my choice. ¡°I can¡¯t, Gloria,¡± I said softly, but resolute. ¡°If we¡¯re going to walk this journey together, I need to know who I¡¯m walking with. Your father¡ª¡± ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± she interjected sharply, her eyes almost flaring. ¡°I¡¯ve told you, that¡¯s off-limits.¡± The weighty silence that followed spoke volumes. I had overstepped, and even the forest seemed to hold its breath in the awkward pause that followed. Gloria finally broke the silence. ¡°Let¡¯s get the essence of we came for. We can talk¡ªor not talk¡ªanother time.¡± *** ¡°Here it is Lurin. We could only carry so much because Tim forgot to take his bag with him, make them count,¡± Gloria said as she placed the five essences on the floor in his tent. His eyes blinked groggily. The kind you get from a surprise wake-up call. ¡°Alright, alright, progress. See those satchels on the shelf? Fetch, um, ten of them,¡± Lurin mumbled, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I hurriedly grabbed the satchels. ¡°Good, good. If you add the essences, Gloria the water, and I will cast the spell. They are very brittle those essences, so be careful you don¡¯t break them.¡± I looked at the five essences on the floor and the ten satchels in my hand. ¡°How do I split them in two?¡± I asked. ¡°What? Didn¡¯t you listen? I told you to be gentle, don¡¯t be an essence butcher.¡± Lurin said. I shook my head and bit down on the snarky comment about learning to count before casting spells. I went to work, and after struggling with the first essence, I found a technique that worked for me. We placed the five satchels in Gloria¡¯s bag and returned to the Inn. Just in time for the sun to set. The loud, rhythmic snoring was hard to miss, even outside my room. Pushing the door open, I found Merlin sprawled on my bed, his trademark pointy hat covering his face, bobbing with each snore. Irritated, I gave the bed a forceful shove - maybe a tad too forceful, prompting me to whisper a Rest spell to soothe my sore foot. ¡°What in the¨C? Oh, it¡¯s you. You¡¯re back, good, good. Just wrapped up my...er, deeply intense spell meditation. The task is complete!¡± Merlin mumbled, slowly sitting up. I had always pictured him with a majestic white mane under the hat, but in its place was a scalp as bald as a gleaming cue ball. ¡°You know, for legendary figures, you are lazy, always letting someone else run your errands while you take a nap. I¡¯m fed up with being your errand boy!¡± I blurted out. Sensing Gloria¡¯s swift movement from the corner of my eye, I deftly sidestepped and pulled out my Doss. In a blink, I had her under my suggestion spell influence. ¡°SIT!¡± I commanded. Without hesitation, she took a seat right there on the floor. ¡°You...you actually did it...¡± Lurin murmured, gaping at the sight of Gloria sitting crossed legged on the floor. She might have been seated, but those fiery eyes were a clear sign she wasn¡¯t down for long. The moment I stopped playing the lute, Gloria was on top of me, her knives crossed before my throat. Just as I thought that was the end, her weight suddenly lifted. ¡°Gloria, HALT!¡± Merlin¡¯s voice rang out, and in a split second, an unseen force flung her through the door, leaving her sprawled in the corridor. Gripping my rapier, I got to my feet, ready for anything. But when she returned, her weapons were nowhere in sight. ¡°Apologies,¡± she whispered, her gaze lowering in Merlin¡¯s direction. The sheer might of the wizard left me questioning what he truly was capable of. She stepped closer and offered her hand. As I took it, realization dawned on me. She was the first in this world to offer a handshake. My eyes widened as I uttered my thoughts, ¡°Are you a¡­¡± but was abruptly interrupted by Merlin, who yanked me away. ¡°ENOUGH! Are you here to battle Volcanic or each other?¡± Merlin demanded, his patience evidently thinning. He didn¡¯t give us a chance to respond. ¡°As I was saying, the spell is complete. Read these.¡± From within his coat, he produced three scrolls and handed them over, his piercing gaze oscillating between Gloria and me. Congratulations! You¡¯ve gained the crossover skill: Wall of Ice. This defensive spell provides a barrier against magical damage, most potent against its elemental opposite¡ªFire magic. It¡¯s a mana-based skill with a duration of 60 breaths and can be recast every 60 breaths using the incantation: Ice wall. I was thrilled about having a defensive spell, though I had secretly hoped for something more epic, like an Ice Orb or Ice Spear. But this was still something. ¡°Thank you,¡± I said, turning to Gloria. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s been a rough couple of days, and I shouldn¡¯t have lost my temper.¡± My eyes lingered on the hand I had just shaken. Where had she picked up that gesture? Merlin was unfamiliar with it, and I hadn¡¯t introduced it to her. Was it na?ve to assume I was the sole person from my world here? I had been navigating based on the belief that I was traversing my own fantasy. A belief I recognized as a comforting illusion more than anything. ¡°You are now prepared,¡± Merlin declared, hoisting his backpack as he headed for the damaged door. The innkeeper¡¯s impending reaction to the ruined entrance filled me with apprehension. As Merlin stepped through the remnants of the doorway, he paused, looking back with a mischievous grin. ¡°To succeed in your mission, you must harness all your skills, trust one another, and strategize wisely.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t you help us?¡± I implored. His power was apparent, especially after witnessing how effortlessly he¡¯d handled Gloria. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t,¡± he responded with a hint of regret. ¡°I¡¯ve already overstepped the boundaries of my role as a mentor. There are ancient protocols I must adhere to. However, don¡¯t be disheartened, Mr. Tim. I genuinely believe you have the capability needed to conquer the gatekeeper. Hold on to the lessons you¡¯ve learned.¡± As Merlin exited, he made a nonchalant gesture towards the broken door in the hallway. Within moments, the fragments reassembled and attached themselves back in place. Who on earth - or purgatory - was this man? After Merlin¡¯s departure, a palpable tension filled the room. The three of us stood in quiet contemplation, each grappling with the weight of anticipation. It was the sensation one feels right before embarking on a long-anticipated, yet daunting journey, that unmistakable moment when you cross the point of no return. Fighting Fire with Ice, Ice, A baby (bam baram bambam bambambam) ¡°So¡­ Let¡¯s go?¡± I said. Gloria started to nod, slowly at first, but it intensified until she was flexing her muscles and screaming from the top of her lungs. ¡°Let¡¯s extinguish this flaming fiasco!¡± She charged my door, knocking it off its hinges. Granted, just turning the handle would''ve been faster, but she obviously had an issue with intact doors. And I didn¡¯t care, her warcry had made me fired up as well. Even Lurin looked like a lean mean singing machine. Without pause, we made our way to the old city of Beetleville. We didn''t stop, didn''t rest. I chugged a couple of Aqua Vigours and used one charge of the trinket to keep up, but I timed the use to right before sunset, making sure I had one charge locked and ready. Couldn¡¯t waste more good adrenaline on running. Initially, the entrance to Beetleville eluded me. After traversing through scorched remains for hours, everything blurred together. The distinguishing factor was subtle: the charred debris that surrounded us were remnants of former buildings. It wasn''t until we reached the city''s heart that a noticeable difference emerged. Where sparse green shoots once fought to reclaim their space, the center was barren, swallowed by darkness. There was something else amiss, an unsettling sensation, much like that creeping feeling you get when you''re convinced someone''s peering at you from behind. And in an irony that was almost comedic, when I swiveled around, dead last in our little parade, I was met with ¨C yep, you guessed it ¨C fiery eyes. ¡°Eh, guys¡­¡± My voice quivered, quite dramatically I might add, as I remained transfixed by the blazing gaze of this towering inferno-man-thing in front of me. He/it had the same autonomy as a human. The only difference, well, the main difference was that everything was burning. He was twice the size of Grugnur. But right in that moment, the burning facade seemed like issue number one on my list of concerns. Sneaking a peek over my shoulder, I spotted Gloria and Lurin, obliviously trotting forward. Without me. ¡°GUYS!!!!!¡± I yelled, like a teen who''d just caught an unexpected glimpse of their crush changing, with all his buddies around. The rush of cold was palpable as Gloria dashed past me, her Ice Wall shimmering defiantly ahead of her, daggers gleaming. She launched herself at the fiery entity, stabbing fervently. But to him, she might as well have been a pesky gnat, dismissing her with a simple shrug. Then came Lurin, playing a hypnotic melody on his flute, similarly cloaked by the icy barrier. The fiery apparition, which I had deducted had to be F?nix, momentarily seemed entranced by the music. It gave Gloria just enough time to get back on her feet, her blades now emanating a piercing blue light. She unleashed a barrage of strikes, each landing with a hissing steam. From the grimace on F?nix''s face, it was evident they hurt. But he retaliated, landing a solid blow on her. And that was about the time I got control over my body. ¡°Hurt!¡± I screamed at F?nix, but his aura didn¡¯t change color. I started running toward Gloria who was lying on the ground, the Ice Wall gone. F?nix had conjured a huge fire sword and was raising it to strike her. I could see that her aura had shifted color to yellow, knowing she wouldn¡¯t survive a direct hit. I also knew it was going to be close. I raised both my Ice Wall spell and Ward, emptying my mana. I hurled myself over Gloria, acting as an oversized, pudgy shield. The heat was intense as the fiery blade seared into my back, crushing me further into the dirt and nearly flattening Gloria beneath me. The world dimmed momentarily. Blinking back to clarity, I found F?nix rearing up for another crushing blow. I knew I couldn''t withstand another, yet rolling aside would leave Gloria exposed. That was a line I couldn¡¯t cross. Just then, a deafening explosion rang out. F?nix staggered, his aura transitioning violently from green to red. My eyes darted to the source of the sound, landing on Lurin''s motionless form on the ground. Despite his injuries, F?nix lumbered towards him with clear intent. I pressed the trinket pulled my blade and attacked. The heat was intense, but the adrenaline rush made me able to attack him long enough for him to be annoyed and turn towards me, away from Lurin. He kicked me, and I was thrown several feet away, my lungs empty for air and my leather armor on fire. I lay there, stomping my armor with my hands when I saw the beautiful blue blades of gloria running passed me. She slid underneath his blade, continued underneath his legs, and planted both knives where non-fire-skinned people have their biggest weaknesses or smallest, it¡¯s really not about the size. The apparition screamed a terrible and loud scream as the area filled with hot steam. I shielded my face with my hand, feeling the steam burning my skin. When the steam was gone, there were four people lying on the ground in the charred city: Gloria, Lurin, me, and a naked corpse. I stood up and ran over to Gloria. She had burned the right of her face. It was severe, but it didn¡¯t take away from her beauty. When she understood I was looking at her, she covered up. That was a good sign, nobody about to die would be that conscious about how she looks. I ran over to Luring who was still lying still. I could see that he was breathing. He had pulled off something insanely powerful spell, almost one-shotting the giant apparition. I made eye contact with him and gave him my last Aqua Vita, see, now even I am saying that ¨C healing potions ¨C as I walked over to the naked body of a man. It was a young man with spotless skin and long red hair, reaching all along the length of his body. A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°How?¡± I heard Gloria saying over my shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t know. He looks...¡± ¡°Pretty.¡± ¡°I was going to say innocent, but OK, pretty. If you like that kind of look.¡± I said, hearing my own jealous tone. Cue the little insecure boy again. ¡°I know him,¡± Lurin said as he leaned against my back, talking over the other shoulder. ¡°You do?¡± ¡°Yes. His name is, or was, Preggul. He and his sister Priggal disappeared right after the burning. She has to be¡­¡± ¡°Pyrola¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°What now?¡± I asked. ¡°We don¡¯t have much time. Preggul and Priggal were twins. And I guess she already knows that something has happened and is on her way here. Tim, take this, you need it.¡± Lurin gave me a new scroll. Congratulation¡¯s! You have gained a new level. You are now a level 9 bard of the Highland clan. Your Song of Rest spell is now stronger. It will heal for a small amount, but it will continue to heal you for another ten breaths. Your proficiency with the Doss Lute has been raised. All spells used while playing the lute are now stronger. Vicious Mockery has grown even stronger, it is now a level-three spell. Even though I didn¡¯t get any new skills or spells, I was pleased with the fact that my Rest spell was a healing over time spell now and that my mockery was stronger. I didn¡¯t understand what it meant that my Doss Lute proficiency was raised, but I hoped it would let me hold suggestions longer. ¡°Good, we need to heal up. I don¡¯t think we have much time.¡± Gloria said. ¡°Yes, and we need a plan. Last time we attacked one at a time, I think we need to coordinate our attacks. I have used my trinket and my Hurtful spell. I only have mockery and singing blade left.¡± I said. Gloria looked at me hard. ¡°Don¡¯t even think about casting that spell again,¡± she said through her teeth, and I nodded eagerly. ¡°I can¡¯t cast another extermination spell for another month. So we need to be smart with our spells and skills.¡± Lurin said. Extermination spell on a month¡¯s cooldown?! And it didn¡¯t take out F?nix. I really hoped Pyrolia was weaker than her brother. ¡°OK. When we see her, I will cast mockery on her.¡± I started. ¡°Then if you can cast suggestion on her, Lurin, giving Gloria time and space to get close. And you have to use your best attacks at the start, Gloria, don¡¯t hold back¡± I could see that she was sitll hurt. I hoped we had time to heal up properly before she came. I shouldn¡¯t have, because as I looked at Gloria I heard a terrible scream that came closer each second. She was closing in, and she was mad. ¡°OK. And then I will cast suggestion, and you cast anything you have at her, Lurin. Rince and repeat.¡± ¡°Rince and what?¡± Gloria said ¡°And we do the same thing again. I mock, Lurin suggest, you attack, I suggest, Lurin attack and I mock¡­We need to keep our distance and not let her hit us. If one of us gets taken out we are scre¡­.¡± Gloria slammed against my body, throwing me down to the ground as a big fire ball blew over our heads, exploding into one of the burned buildings. I followed the trajectory to where it came from. There she stood, just as big as her brother. She stood staring at the body laying in front of us. Then she raised her eyes and screamed so my ears hurt and shot another fireball at us. "Hey, you flaming mistake! You''re not hot; you''re just a burnout waiting to happen!"! I said as I rolled away from it. Right after I heard the lute start playing, Gloria was already running. But I hadn¡¯t thought about the fact she was a caster, and by the time Gloria was there, the suggestion fell off. It only lasted for a few breaths. If Lurin couldn¡¯t hold her for more than two breaths, how could I hold her at all? My plan was busted before we even started to fight. Gloria got one hit in before she had to roll away from a shot. Pyrolias aura was still green. I looked at Gloria, then at Lurin. There was only one thing to do. ¡°RUN!¡± I screamed, and it seemed they had come to the same conclusion because they didn¡¯t argue. We didn¡¯t get far before Lurin was standing on fire, screaming. I turned and thought I could see a smile on the apparition¡¯s face, you know the smile of someone completely insane. There was no way out of it. Either we killed her, or she would kill us. Twentyfive breaths. ¡°So, what''s it like knowing you''re just the rejected sparks from a campfire!¡± I shouted and pulled my rapier as I yelled. ¡°Gloria, take care of Lurin, and stay away !¡± I ran toward Pyrolia dodging the smaller but fast fireballs she threw at me, but one hit me. I had the Ice Wall spell up, but the hit had made my aura go from green to yellow. When I was in mele distance I slashed wildly at her, hitting her a couple of times, but the only thing that happened was that my rapier got so hot that the blade melted and was hanging like a hot whip. ¡°You''re not a blaze, you''re just a phase!,¡± I yelled, my third Mockery in a row, and finally her aura went from green to yellow. But I didn¡¯t have any more mockeries ready, and I had to use all my concentration on dodging arms, legs, and fireballs thrown at me. ¡°Gloria! Take Lurin and run!!¡± I screamed when I knew I couldn¡¯t handle it much longer. ¡°No way!¡± someone said on the other side of Pyrolia that suddenly screamed and turned away from me, the steam from where Gloria¡¯s knife had hit her in the back made a bone-chilling sound. I could see Pyrolia¡¯s aura staring to get darker, and I thought she was about to fall when I heard another scream. It was Gloria. ¡°Hey, take me!!¡± I tried to shout, but Pyrolia was walking toward Gloria who lay lifeless on the ground. She started to summon a fireball. I grabbed my Doss and strum it. ¡°Singing blade!¡± I screamed in desperation, even though my rapier was destroyed. But the destroying of my blade was a blessing in disguise, a warm disguise. Gloria¡¯s two blades started dancing wildly amongst Pyrolia¡¯s panicky arms and legs. She screamed as the aura went red and suddenly all was white and hot. I don¡¯t know if it was destined or a weird coincident, but when the fog lifted, Pyrolia was laying beside her brother, her hand had fallen into his. She was as perfect as her brother. ¡°Well done, Tim!¡± Gloria said. I looked at the black face, seeing some white teeth inside there. When she wiped away the soot with her sleeve I could see that she wasn¡¯t burned in the face after all. Her arm was hurt, but that was it. ¡°Lurin!¡± I said and ran to the place I saw him last. He wasn¡¯t there. ¡°Is he?¡± I said and looked at Gloria. ¡°No. He is in DuckVille. Merlin saved him¡± ¡°Merlin was here?¡± ¡°No. Not in person. But Merlin is everywhere.¡± ¡°Ok. Let¡¯s go back!¡± I said, knowing it wouldn¡¯t take long for Volcanic to get what happened. ¡°Good job, Tim. We have taken out two bad people to day. OK,¡± Gloria said I looked back at the two innocent-looking bodies lying holding each other hands. ¡°I hope you are right.¡± ¡°I am.¡± THe Heat is On I''ve never been more exhausted in my life¡ªor lives, whether real or imagined. All my mana depleted, my satchels empty, and my legs trembling like Elvis, I leaned on Gloria for support as we entered the village. A horn blared in greeting, and it seemed as though the entire community¡ªhumans, creatures, and indescribables alike¡ªhad been waiting for us. A child handed me a satchel of water, and the taste was heavenly. After two marathon-length battles, fighting off fiery apparitions, rehydration felt like a miracle. As I surveyed the faces around us, I realized that for the first time since arriving in Purgatory, I felt like a real hero. "I heard you lost your weapon," Merlin said as soon as we were seated at our trusted but worn table in the inn. "Didn''t lose it, it melted," I replied, surprised by how much I missed my flimsy rapier. "I''ve brought you a new weapon. One that won''t melt in the face of fire," Merlin lay a long, wrapped package on the table. I felt a thrill I hadn''t experienced since I was twelve ripping into Christmas presents as I unwrapped the package ceremonially and found a sword aglow with an otherworldly orange hue. My first legendary weapon! Though slender, it felt powerful and perfectly balanced. As I held it, I knew we were going to have many great adventures together. My old rapier already a distant memory. "This is a Srin blade. It''s forged from elements found on the moon Srin, so earthly elements won''t touch it," Merlin said, his voice tinged with an unusual seriousness. "The blade possesses unique powers. With proper attunement, it will adapt to its wielder''s needs. Take good care of this one, Mr. Tim." I was tempted to point out that I had, in fact, taken good care of my previous weapon¡ªuntil it decided to go all melty on me. But the excitement over my new blade, which I had already named Glomrinerym, made that point moot. "Thank you," I said, sheathing Glomrinerym in my belt. Throughout our subsequent discussion, I kept patting my side to ensure it was still there. We''d had a plan and executed it to perfection by taking down Volcanics'' two lieutenants, but what now? "When do you think Volcanic will know we''ve killed F?nix and Pyrolia?" I asked Merlin. "He already knows. But don''t expect any rash moves from him. Volcanic is a cunning elemental." "Do you think he''ll come here?" Gloria asked, looking around the inn with concern. I knew exactly what she was wondering: Had we just slapped a ¡°Kick my¡± sign on Duckville? "No, he''s far weaker away from his portal, and I don''t think he''d risk straying too far from his precious gateway. Plus, I''d sense if there was a shift in the force. So far, nothing," Merlin reassured. I couldn''t resist and waved my hand in a Star Wars fashion. Blank stares met my gaze. After all the songs of our bravery were sung, and downed the drinks that kept coming our way, my eyelids grew heavy. It was time to call it a night so I stood up to head to bed. "Hold on a minute, Tim," Lurin said, gently pulling me away from the table. "This is for you. My last scroll," Lurins tone unnervingly sober in a room that spun like those nauseating teacups at Tivoli. I couldn''t help but wonder why he''d waited until now to hand it over. This one felt heftier than the others. I reached to take it, but Lurin''s grip held firm. "This scroll is special. It''s going to make you take some weighty decisions¡ªdecisions that only you can make, alone. Read it in your room, but don''t act on it until tomorrow. This isn''t the kind of choice you make after downing a barrel of beer," Lurin said, his stone-like expression briefly cracking into what could be described as a smile, before hardening once more. "I''m proud of you, kid. We wouldn''t have made it without you. Thank you." "We''re all part of this win," I said, just as I was engulfed in a bear hug. Lurin''s body shook, and I heard the muffled sound of sobs. Maybe he wasn''t as sober as he let on. Regardless, the warmth of a genuine hug from my newfound friend and mentor felt damn good. Once I reached my room, I sat on the bed and unfurled the scroll. The weight of its content enough to sober me up a fair bit. Congratulation¡¯s! You have gained a new level. You are now a level 10 bard of the Highland clan. You have just gotten your first path choice. You are able to pick one of these paths to follow. Be mindful of your choice, because it¡¯s not possible to undo your choice :
  • Lightfooted ¨C You are lighter on your foot, being able to dodge more easily and run for longer. You will also take reduced damage from projectiles.
  • The Bard¡¯s best friend ¨C You are given a small companion. A monkey ¨C You are able to pick two abilities for your pet. Your pet is passive and will not contribute to fighting. The abilities you can choose between are: Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.
    • Mocking glare ¨C Enemies in close proximity to your Monkey take more damage
    • Clapping monkey ¨C You get two more stats in each of your stats for 50 breaths.
    • Songbird ¨C Your monkey sings a song, giving you more charisma and dexterity.
    • Dancing monkey ¨C Your monkey gives you lightfooted, you will move faster for 25 breaths.
  • The singing chef ¨C You get accustomed to one-handed blades, your skills with the blade match that of a rogue.
  • Eagle eye ¨C your bow skills make you a great archer. Giving you extra attack and dexterity. Your arrows will fly farther and faster.
  • Jack of all trade ¨C ¡°The tide will make all boats float.¡± You are a balanced bard, adept in all aspects, never brilliant in one. A versatile bard is better than a dead bard. As a Jack of all trades, you may choose two of the following:
    • Melody of the Forgotten Souls ¨C Your song sends you to the pane of the lost, being able to escape the physical world for 10 breaths. Just enough to shift the tide of battle.
    • Melody of inspiration ¨C Your song inspires everyone within 3 breaths from you, making all the stats get doubled for 25 breaths.
    • Melody of extermination ¨C Your song deals massive damage, killing most creatures instantly. This drains you of all energy and uses one moon¡¯s orbit to replenish.
    • Sharp tongue ¨C Your stories are so captivating that anyone listening gets mesmerized. When they wake, they believe your story and are willing to do anything to follow.
Choose your path carefully; it will shape your destiny. I sat there, agonizing over the choices before me. In most RPGs, there were always a couple of dud talents that you''d never pick, but each of these paths seemed perfect. Tempting as it was to make a snap decision, my throbbing head told me it was better to heed Lurin''s advice: sleep on it, and decide with a clear mind.
"So, made your path choice yet?" Lurin asked when I approached his shed in The Round. Merlin was perched on a stool by the counter, casually puffing on a pipe. Gloria had been plucking at one of the stringed instruments lying around but paused to look at me. "Yes, I have," I said, grinning from ear to ear. The curiosity was palpable on Lurin''s face. "I chose Jack of All Trades. Every path had its merits, but I was granted this class for a reason. I intend to embrace it fully." I couldn''t be sure, but I''d wager Lurin''s eyes sparkled just a tad more than usual at that moment. "An excellent choice, Mr. Tim," Merlin said, nodding approvingly through a cloud of pipe smoke. "Congratulations on becoming a pathed bard." I didn''t have the foggiest clue what that meant, but it sounded cool. "Thanks. Are you heading out?" I asked, nodding toward the overstuffed backpack at Merlin''s feet. "Yes, I must be on my way. However, rest assured, I''ll still be able to alert you if there''s a shift in power. So far, all''s quiet," Merlin said, his gaze suddenly fixating on something beyond our little gathering. Following his eyes, I saw an elderly man shambling towards us, his back hunched and his hand gripping a gnarled cane for support. As Merlin stowed his pipe, I sensed tension in the air. "Ah, greetings, greetings. Pardon my intrusion, I just wished to offer my salutations to my fellow traders," the elderly man said, his voice frail but his eyes alert. "Nice to meet you!" Lurin began, stepping out from behind the counter to welcome him, but stopped abruptly when Merlin''s hand shot out to block him. The air suddenly felt laden with an unspoken gravity. I glanced from one to the other, then back to the old merchant. Gloria had moved to stand beside me, her eyes narrowing. "How?" Merlin''s voice a whisper, tinged with something that sounded like fear, something I''d never heard from him before. "How what, my dear wizard?" the old man queried, a curious tilt to his brows. "How did you do it?" Merlin pressed, his eyes narrowing into slits. "I am afra¡ª" "Stop!" Merlin hissed, cutting off the old man. He muttered an incantation beneath his breath as he advanced cautiously towards the merchant. "Why hasn¡¯t the power shifted?" My concern for Merlin''s mental health evaporated when the merchant released his grip on the stick and stood up tall, his face stretching into a malicious grin. His voice, now deep and growling, shattered the illusion of frailty. "Ah, I have my ways. You''re Merlin, aren''t you?" "Volcanic," Merlin spat the name like a curse. Gloria''s knives were out in a heartbeat. Lurin gripped his flute as if preparing to summon an army, and I... well, I was stuck in a moment of disbelief. This was Volcanic? The notorious fire elemental terrorizing Highland? He was nowhere near as large, or red, as I''d pictured him. "Ah, greetings," he sneered. "I presume you three are the culprits who killed my children?" His eyes shifted from a glint of perverse delight to a glower of pure malice. I unsheathed Glomrinerym, and stepped forward. "Hold, Mr. Tim," Merlin instructed in a hard voice, his eyes never leaving Volcanic. Another incantation slipped from his lips, and the air around us changed¡ªit became stagnant, heavy, as if time itself was holding its breath. "Look around, Volcanic. This town is filled with innocent people. Let''s take this beyond the village borders," Merlin suggested, his voice laced with restrained tension. "Why should I?" Volcanic sneered. "You''re not allowed to interfere anyway; that''s the law. Besides, why should I heed your wishes? Did you show any consideration for my son and daughter?" "Your so-called children were merely slaves to you¡ªdon''t pretend otherwise. I''ve seen their true selves; they were once villagers here, lives you claimed when you scorched the forest," Merlin said. My mind raced with questions. How could Merlin know this? Had he witnessed it firsthand? And what did Volcanic mean that Merlin couldn''t intervene? "Enough chatter," Volcanic growled. "I''m here to claim what''s mine. You have two options: the easy way or the hard way. Either way, you''re going to pay for my loss." Then, all hell broke loose¡ªquite literally. Volcanic''s clothes ignited as if soaked in gasoline. He did this dramatic ''Hulk'' move, throwing his arms back and letting out a scream that I''m pretty sure alerted every living creature in Highland. In a matter of seconds, he transformed into a gargantuan fire elemental¡ªmore akin to the monster I had envisioned, but exponentially larger and far more terrifying. Anything combustible nearby burst into flames; the intense heat forcing us to retreat. Lurin''s shed was the first to catch fire, followed swiftly by his tent. I scanned the area for Merlin but found no sign of him. This was it. The final boss. The legend of the Two Bare-Naked Dwarves Who Took on a Horde of Hellspawn ¡°Hurt!¡± I yelled at the colossal fire elemental named Volcanic, but if he felt anything, his aura was doing an Oscar-worthy job of hiding it. Lurin started playing the flute, cue Gloria sprinting toward him, knives out, but she came to a screeching halt. The heat emanating from him was like a physical wall. How on earth were we going to beat this guy? I activated my trinket and summoned both the ice wall and the ward. It was an all-in gamble that drained my mana faster than a teenager going through a data plan. I closed in for a few hits, but the relentless heat quickly turned my ice wall into a slushy. Backing off seemed wise unless I wanted to experiment with being a human marshmallow. Lurin stopped playing the flute, clearly fatigued. The guy was still reeling from our earlier scuffles with F?nix and Pyrola. And Volcanic? He stood there as if he were enjoying a day at the beach, his flame-formed grin widening. We''d just thrown our best at him, and it was like trying to defeat a tank with a peashooter. ¡°HAHAHA. You''re even weaker than I thought,¡± he declared, his voice a seismic rumble that shook my core. ¡°Watch your village turn into the world''s biggest bonfire!¡± Then, with a theatrical wave of his flaming arms, Volcanic unleashed an all-consuming firestorm. We were thrown back, scorched and dazed. My last-ditch ice wall barely held up, but it was enough to keep me from becoming a charcoal sketch. ¡°NO!¡± I screamed, my eyes darting around frantically. But...nothing. Not a single building had been harmed by Volcanic''s apocalyptic fire show. I thought I caught a blue glint around the structures as the inferno hit them. A shield. Merlin had been pulling a Gandalf¡ªdefending the whole town while we went on our little offensive quest. ¡°Gladroum!¡± Gloria bellowed. I was confused. Was that a spell? A battle cry? An elvish insult? ¡°Doughebelynn!¡± She continued, stepping cautiously toward Volcanic. Her ice ward shimmered around her, but her pace was too slow to reach him in time. ¡°And Elrfegit!¡± Her voice cracked as smoke billowed from her clothing. ¡°Those were the names of my family that you killed. And this, THIS is my REVENGE!¡± Suddenly, she sprinted toward the fiery behemoth, her clothes fully alight. I know fire elementals don''t have faces, per se, but I swear Volcanic looked, for a split second, as he''d just realized he''d left his oven on. Gloria vanished into the flames, her twin blue blades a blur of vengeance. This was a one-way ticket, a suicide mission. And she knew it. ¡°Lurin! We need to do something!¡± I screamed, but he was already playing his flute intensely. This was it, the end of my life, and I was OK with it. I wouldn¡¯t stand by watching Gloria die alone. I ran toward him, drinking the only satchel of Aqua Vita- mana potion- that I had left. When I pulled the moonblade it started to shine bright blue, just like Gloria¡¯s knives. My armor smelled like a barbecue joint, but adrenaline had booted my pain sensors offline for the moment. When I reached him, I swung at his leg with everything I had, my eyes squinted against the brilliant flames. I hoped to every deity listening that I wouldn''t hit Gloria. My blade made contact, sizzling on impact. Through the blaze, I thought I caught a glimpse of Gloria''s own blades. ¡°You''re supposed to be the final boss? You''re more like the final ember!¡± I said and at the same time something hit me hard, slamming me to the ground, the world suddenly went completely quiet and I could see the stars in the sky looking down at me. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Tim, get your butt off the ground, we''ve got more uninvited guests!¡± Gloria yanked me up, her appearance resembling a chimney sweep who''d just had a field day. I looked around and couldn¡¯t see Volcanic. Was he dead? ¡°What? Who? I said and stood up, my head spinning like like a dreidel in overdrive. ¡°The imps They''re setting the town on fire!¡± A tear slid down her face, carving a clean trail through the soot. ¡°Where¡¯s Volcanic?¡± ¡°He ran and summoned his imps. He is going back to the portal.¡± I looked at her. It had to mean we hurt him. ¡°We should go after him!¡± ¡°NO! We need to save the citizens,¡± she said. I knew Volcanic would be impossible to beat when he got the power from the gate, but he hadn¡¯t won the war yet. ¡°Hey, my grandma bakes scarier imps than you for Christmas!¡± I shouted, charging at the closest imp. It vanished in a puff of smoke. One down, a horde to go. I glanced back at Lurin, who was casually sipping an energy potion, sitting like he was at a picnic rather than a battlefield. Whatever magical mojo he''d pulled off, it was the only reason we weren''t currently resembling overcooked brisket. Gloria was a one-woman imp-pocalypse, slashing and burning with a zeal I''d never witnessed before. When the villagers caught on that we weren''t part of the infernal parade, they turned into makeshift firefighters. Buckets of water rained down from their windows, causing the imps to sizzle and recoil, buying us precious time. I raised my ice shield alone against five imps. Their fireballs were hard-hitting, and I had to chain-cast Rest until I got two of them down with my moonblade. They were hitting me with their small arms, annoyingly, but it didn¡¯t do much damage. I quickly dispersed the three remaining and ran over to Gloria who was fighting at least ten at the same time. ¡°The only good imp is a dead imp!¡± I screamed at one of them. Nine left. Gloria made short work of three more, and then something incredible happened. The villagers burst from their homes, armed with brooms, buckets, and whatever kitchen utensils they could find, driving off the remaining imps like they were shooing pigeons from a park bench. Lurin got in a few good hits, capturing some fleeing imps in a melodious trap of his own making. Those who escaped into the woods were now somebody else''s problem. ¡°Are you OK?¡± an elderly lady said, carrying a blanket in front of her with a rather puzzled look on her face. Only then did it dawn on me: Gloria and I were in the buff. Yep, we''d gone full commando, thanks to our now incinerated armor. And thus was born the legend of the Two Bare-Naked Dwarves Who Took on a Horde of Hellspawn. ¡°I''m alright,¡± I said, draping the blanket around myself like a makeshift toga. ¡°Anyone else hurt?¡± I scanned the faces in the crowd, relieved to see only minor damage to the town and its residents. ¡°I need some armor, preferably something that can handle the heat,¡± I said. ¡°Tim, we can''t go back now. By the time we reach the gate, Volcanic will be powered up and unbeatable,¡± Gloria cautioned, wrapping the old lady''s jacket around her torso like a mini cape. Grasping her hand, I tried my best to summon my inner action hero. ¡°Glomrinerym, I have to. It''s why I''m here. My destiny. You stay and protect the villagers.¡± For a moment, I thought I saw pride in her eyes. Then she let go of my hand, let her jacket slip to the ground, and clocked me one right on the jaw. So much for my hero speech. ¡°Who do you think you are?! I am not going to sit here while you go fight him. He is mine to kill, not yours. Someone! Bring me some armor!¡± She said and held out her hand. ¡°And some for me,¡± came a feeble voice from behind. It was Lurin, clutching his flute as though it were a life raft. ¡°No!¡± Gloria and I chimed in, harmonizing perfectly like we were about to break into a musical number. ¡°You need to rest, Lurin. You have done more than enough. Now, please stay here with the citizens. They need someone to protect them.¡± I said. Lurin started to open his mouth but Gloria beat him to it. ¡°He''s right. You have to stay, dear Lurin. And you know this is true. We will be OK. He is weak, Volcanic was on his last embers when we left him. We just need to catch him before he reaches the portal.¡± Lurin looked at us both and nodded. ¡°Yes. You are right. My powers are spent. But, please take this. It is a summoning stone for Merlin. If¡­When you have beaten him, summon Merlin immediately. He needs to mend the gate.¡± Taking the stone, I flashed back to the time I had activated a similar trinket in Lurin''s basement. ¡°Thanks, buddy. May the moons be forever in your favor,¡± I said, pulling off an epic salute that was only slightly marred by my blanket toga slipping. Lurin nodded solemnly. ¡°And may your banter be as sharp as your blades.¡± The Strange Dwarf The local blacksmith had fitted us with the best armor he had - A lightweight Moonstone armor that felt even lighter than the leather armor I was accustomed to wearing. We ran as fast as we could, toward what I had come to terms with would probably be the end of me in Purgatory, whatever that meant for me in real life. ¡°Are you sure this is the fastest way to the gate?¡± I shouted between breaths. ¡°Nope, never been there. But we''re headed toward the forest''s center,¡± Gloria replied, upping her speed. I was struggling to keep up, but a quick tap on my trinket gave me a boost. I couldn''t help but grin as I overtook her, sensing her surprised glance. "There! Imps at twelve o''clock!" Gloria exclaimed, spotting the five miscreants that had eluded us in the village. She slowed to a jog. "Should we tail them?" I shouted, unsheathing my moonblade. The imps lobbed a trio of fireballs at me, but I skipped the shield this time. Despite direct hits to my chest, my vision¡¯s color didn''t even flicker. I cut through them as I charged, not pausing to confirm their demise. Something was building inside me¡ªa power that went beyond mere trinkets¡ªand I couldn''t wait to unleash it on Volcanic. "Tim, wait up!" Gloria''s voice trailed behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see her lagging far back. Perfect. There was no way I''d let her throw her life away battling Volcanic. Channeling my inner Usain Bolt, I darted forward, guided by an inexplicable pull towards my destination. I felt like Frodo under the weight of the One Ring, only my quest came with less hiking and more incineration. Gloria''s indignant shouts filled the air, and I was more scared of the fiery tempest behind me than the inferno ahead. That''s when I saw it: the portal. Massive doesn''t begin to describe it. It was like something out of an Egyptian pharaoh''s fever dream¡ªan arch towering 50 feet high and spanning 20 feet across. Its moonblade-black surface was inscribed with glowing letters that defied translation. And there, standing¡ªer, burning¡ªin front of it was Volcanic. He had made it back, and I could see his aura glowing yellow, a sign he was regaining strength. I skidded to a halt and glanced back to confirm Gloria was still far away. I plucked a string on my lute, sending my moonblade flying toward the elemental. "Hey Volcanic, if your brain exploded, the mess wouldn¡¯t even disrupt your non-existent hair!" I hollered, continuing my lute-playing to guide the blade. The blade struck true, darkening Volcanic''s aura. Once the blade had done its song and dance, I stopped playing. I had to conserve some energy; I wasn''t running on renewable resources here. 25 breaths. ¡°I was going to cast detect thoughts, but I don''t think I''m going to find anything up there!¡± I screamed and closed my eyes, hoping. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. But when I opened them, he was still there. Worse, my eyes caught the blaze of a fireball speeding toward me. Dodging it by a hair''s breadth, I felt its heat fizzle past me. Drawing my blade, I moved towards him, fueled by the unseen energy emanating from the gate. I shifted from a walk to a run and let out a Braveheart-esque scream. My Moon armor held firm, but my wards flickered out one by one. I hacked and stabbed, dodging his flaming limbs, until he suddenly froze. Wardless, but defiant, I kept on fighting, gritting my teeth against the rising heat. His aura had shifted to a dark red. ¡°Just DIE already!¡± My scream echoed my desperation. Time was a luxury I no longer had. Why wasn''t he moving? Then the world turned a blinding white. I felt my body lifted and tossed, tumbling through the air like a discarded doll. A snapping sound registered¡ªplease let it be twigs. But I knew it was my right arm, my fighting arm. Vision returning, I realized I was flung at least a hundred feet from the portal. Slowly but steadily, Volcanic approached¡ªwhether he walked, glided, or simply burned his way toward me was irrelevant now. My head was spinning; my broken arm seared with pain. I braced myself on the ground, my eyes lifting to meet the fire that would consume me. Twenty-five. ¡°I''d say you were a worthy opponent, but I''ve had tougher fights against flumphs wielding dandelions!¡± Nothing. ¡°Okay, okay. You won,¡± I said, laughter bubbling out of me. The sheer absurdity struck me all at once. Here I was, on all fours in the middle of a charred forest, having just lost an epic battle against a colossal fire elemental in a realm called Purgatory, populated by dwarves, gnomes, orcs, kobolds, and giants. Just last week, I was climbing the stairs to my third-floor office, five minutes late for my morning ritual of coffee and newspaper surfing before making client calls. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± A voice said in front of me. I looked up and saw the old man-form we had seen in the town, surrounded by a fire shield. Beside him stood two fire imps at ready. Was that his normal shape? "What are you laughing at?" A voice questioned from in front of me. I looked up to see the old man we had seen in the town enclosed in a shield of flames, two fire imps standing beside him. Was this his true form? ¡°Everything,¡± I said, ¡°but mostly your astonishing lack of good looks.¡± I drew my twenty-fifth breath. "Not even a beholder would find you beautiful!" The fire shield flickered, its intensity lessening. ¡°For what it was, you were a worthy opponent,¡± Volcanic said. ¡°And for what it''s worth, you''re as dumb as a rock,¡± I retorted with a grin. ¡°Did you really think I came here alone?¡± Thud, thud, thud, thud. ¡°Kakheack! Gladroum! Doughebelynn!¡± I clenched my teeth, planted my hands on the scorched earth, and assumed the ''cat pose'' I''d learned in the single yoga class I''d ever attended. I felt the impact of her foot against my back as she used me as a springboard. I looked up just in time to see Gloria airborne, hurtling toward Volcanic. He didn''t have time to morph back into his fiery elemental form; she struck his shield with a primal fury. The resulting explosion engulfed us in steam, searing my skin. I curled into a fetal position until the air was breathable again. When I dared to look, I found Gloria sprawled on the ground, arms outstretched. Her knives lay beside her, their glow extinguished. Next to her was the frail body of an old man. As I approached her, I wasn''t prepared for the sight that greeted me: she was smiling, her eyes shimmering with tears. ¡°We did it,¡± I murmured as I lay down beside her. ¡°Yes. We did. I haven¡¯t forgotten that you left me, and you will get punished, but right now I just need to relax and enjoy my revenge.¡± I tilted my head and made eye contact with her. ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡± She suddenly rolled on top of me and pinned my arms to the ground. ¡°You are a strange dwarf, Tim. But I like you. Thank you.¡± She said and kissed me. Let me tell you, that kiss, was epic¡­no wait for it¡­. It was orange. Goodbye Highland I rubbed the crystal, watching it vanish. My back was pressed against a charred tree, its burnt scent long faded from my senses. Gloria lay, her head cradled in my lap, gazing up at me with eyes that tugged at my not-so-youthful heart. ¡°You have to leave, don''t you?¡± The intensity in her gaze pierced me. I could only nod in response. Part of me yearned to remain there indefinitely, her nestled against me. But my reality was elsewhere; I was still a captive of Purgatory. Slaying Volcanic hadn''t altered that fact, and Merlin''s words echoed in my mind about facing the Harbinger of Eternal Doom. And my gamer''s intuition told me my next chapter lay beyond that looming portal. ¡°Do you want to join me?¡± I asked, my voice laden with hope. ¡°No, I can''t,¡± she replied. ¡°There''s much to rebuild here.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± I began, pausing as thoughts of what might have been, and what still could be, danced in my mind. ¡°Maybe someday¡­¡± The gate began to buzz, and a dark swirl, like a ribbon of smoke, materialized between the pillars. From this nebulous portal, a figure stepped through with measured calm. He approached us, his expression one of concern mingled with curiosity. "Are you both unharmed?" ¡°Yes, we¡¯re fine,¡± I said and stood up. ¡°How did you¡­¡± I pointed towards the portal. Merlin''s smile was faint but sincere. "I traverse the realms as needed, Mr. Tim. When I received your summons, I was already near a portal. And it seems you''ve dispatched Volcanic. Well done." ¡°Barely.¡± ¡°You proved you are ready to move on, Mr. Tim.¡± Merlin continued. "Your arm requires attention, though. Let me provide something for that." He turned his gaze to Gloria. "And you, Glomrinerym? Are you injured?" She rose, brushing off her attire, "I''ll manage." "Very well." Merlin proceeded to assemble a potion from his cape, which seemed to store an endless array of bottles and ingredients. ¡°Merlin! Glomrinerym! Tim!¡± A voice sounded behind us. I turned around to see Lurin, breathless and rushing towards us, accompanied by villagers lugging a hefty chest. They all came to a halt, eyes fixed in awe on the mysterious portal. ¡°Lurin!¡± I managed, my voice squeezed out between the bear hug and my newly remembered broken arm. I might as well have been hugging a cactus. ¡°By the power of the six strings, Tim! You¡¯re the hero we strummed about in ballads!¡± Lurin exclaimed. ¡°Oh, it was all Glomrinerym,¡± I said, gesturing with my good arm towards her like a magician revealing his lovely assistant. Lurin walked over to her. ¡°Glomrinerym my child, you did it. You saved Highland and revenged your family. They can finally rest in peace now. ¡± Gloria bowed her head, and I could see her shoulders bob. ¡°I come bearing the feast of victory!¡± Lurin declared as if he was unveiling the next big thing after sliced bread. enough to make a vegetarian reconsider. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡°I brought you something,¡± Lurin said and gestured to the villagers panting like they¡¯d just finished a marathon in full armor. They dropped the heavy chest to the ground. Out tumbled the bounty: mead, cheese, bread, and meats I have never seen anything more beautiful. Fighting bosses works wonders on the appetite. As we dug in, I had a moment of sober realization amidst the revelry. This banquet was the final level before I hit ''continue'' and walked through that ominous doorway-to-who-knows-where. Merlin¡¯s eyes twinkled at me from across the makeshift tablecloth, his look saying, "Ready for the sequel?" And when it was time to press on, there they all were¡ªGloria, Merlin, Lurin, and the two villagers Tom and Jones (I mean, seriously, who named these guys?)¡ªwaving like I was setting off on a cruise rather than stepping into the maw of uncertainty. I soaked in Gloria¡¯s gaze, the gravity of my next ''click'' in the game of destiny weighing on my shoulders. Gloria¡¯s face suddenly changed. She walked up to me, hugged me, and whispered in my ear. ¡°I almost forgot my promise to you.¡± Then she hit me hard in the stomach, wrapping me over myself and onto my knees. I looked up at her ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I told you I would punish you for leaving me behind.¡± She smiled and sat down on her knees in front of me, took off her necklace, and handed it to me. ¡°No, you can¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°My fighting days are over, Tim. Thanks to you. This belonged to my deceased husband. He was a bard, just like you. It will make you faster in combat and smoother in song. Please, you¡¯ll need it more than me.¡± With reverence, I allowed her to drape the necklace around me. The energy it gave off was like downing an elixir of sheer vitality. ¡°Thank you, for everything, Tim. Should your travels loop back to Highlands, don''t be a stranger,¡± Gloria said, her voice softer now. ¡°I''ll remember the way.¡± I got to my feet, offered a hand to Gloria, and faced my motley crew for a final bow. Tom and Jones just got a nod ¨C let''s not get sentimental. I turned away, let the tears freely mix with the dust of Purgatory, and took my first step into the portal, the unknown melody of my future playing softly ahead. *** It felt like being wrapped in a cloak of midnight velvet while riding a roller coaster ¨C dark, disorienting, and strangely thrilling. Time seemed to lose its grip on reality, each second stretching into oblivion. Emerging on the other side wasn''t the graceful float I''d envisioned, Merlin style ¨C it was a gravity-bound tumble into a world where the sun was a relentless spotlight. The heat was immediate and unforgiving, an invisible weight against my skin. Shouts and clanks filled the air like some sort of chaotic symphony, each warrior contributing their own notes of fervor and steel. ¡°Dwarf! Over here, come on! The sand''s for fighting, not lounging!¡± Peering through the glare, I made out ranks upon ranks of armored figures, a tableau of anticipation facing an unseen foe. ¡°Dwarf! Listen up! Fall in!¡± The source of the voice was a human behemoth, his beard a fiery banner in the desert sun.¡±Class?¡± Brushing off a layer of indignity and sand, I straightened up. "Uhm, I''m a Bard, what''s this place?" I asked, my voice threading through the clamor of the battlefield''s prelude. "Where you are? Stop waffling around! You''re in the fourth row. Hustle up, get back in line!" The burly man with the red beard gestured impatiently, his hand sweeping like he was shooing chickens rather than directing a newcomer. Trudging up the sandy incline, I sidestepped warriors and creatures alike, the scene before me was like a living chessboard, except the pieces were itching for a brawl. "Hey Bard! Over this way!¡± I heard someone shouting and turned to spot a young woman signaling me over, a Doss lute strapped to her back like a warrior''s blade. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± I asked, my thoughts running away from me. ¡°The usual,¡± she replied with a cheeriness that felt misplaced on a battlefield. ¡°Impending doom, thrilling heroics, the works.¡± Then the horn sounded, an ominous echo that seemed to trigger the heavens themselves, unleashing a torrent of arrows blotting out the sun. ¡°Duck and weave, Dwarf. It¡¯s go time.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Tim, actually.¡± ¡°Tim?¡± ¡°Yeah, that''s my name.¡± She chuckled. ¡°Well, ''Tim'', names don¡¯t mean much without a pulse.¡± The second horn call unleashed the tide of warriors. They charged, and so did I, my legs kicking up sand as I muttered about the non-existent union for adventure-seeking bards. No time for a breather in this line of work.