《Anna/John who sometimes Thinks it's John/Anna》


 C01.01 >Mr. River is a good Listener<

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    ** 01.01 **


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    Spring Came to Eclidia bringing life to the frozen Empire. Just outside The Town of Caldus and a while away from the local chapel, sat a girl near the river that just began its flow again after slowly melting.


    She looked as clean as can be ,although she just ran through the woods that were teaming with life and filled with a rainbow of flowers. Bee''s buzzing about, ants waging wars and all manner of insects.


    The girl sat by a small fire facing the river while her fish slowly cooked. the fire crackled and flared every so often. small pebble''s floated on top of her palm while she rhythmically sent them one by one skipping across the river. More pebble''s joined her hand and more where sent flying with a crack as she waited for the fish she caught by building a small dam of rocks to cook some more.


    after a while the girl grabbed one fish of the two and bit down at the slightly charred fish .she moved the other away from the fire and began to speak while chewing.


    " ... My Name is Anna and I realize that I am somehow , very different."


    awkwardly she tried to continue on ,she didn''t know who she was speaking to ,maybe the rocks or better the fish but speaking to something while she ate it felt very wrong ,but she needed this. she eventually decided on the river , here after dubbed as Mr. River, it never hurts to be polite she thought.


    " for instance I''m 11 years old and I''m speaking like an adult. I shouldn''t be able to do that ,I shouldn''t be able to realize I''m doing that either. but I am. and that is one the many reasons why my fellow orphans find me creepy, cant really blame them neither."


    she continued chewing ,Swallowed and took another bite.


    " you see I spent most of my first years very dull .staring at walls ,celling and what have you barley reacting to people .my mother that''s Liz to dad and the cobblers wife to the rest of the world , gave up on me ,and put me at the chapel."


    " so it was really a surprise to the sisters when I started speaking at seven I hadn''t seen the need before that. The world was already loud enough before I started adding my voice "


    she ripped the fish after a bite and throw the pesky bones out.


    " ..... that''s manly what I tell my self, truth is I wasn''t there entirely."


    " when I spoke first time , it was straight to sentence''s and proper grammar . none of that dada dode cute shit ,scared the shit out of The old nuns I tell you. asking  to learn how to read soon after when we didn''t really have books , to teach me to write when most of them couldn''t. the matron didn''t like that. Wanted to know what I was going about .I didn''t either really, but stupid me told them I could read English you see ,didn''t help I kept slipping between languages. "


    " Scared the shit out everyone and myself .got spanked and had a week long fever after that. "


    I think that was the jolt that woke me .I was almost convinced that I was having the most awful most realistic nightmare of my life things where hazy and didn''t make any sense ,but dreams wake you up when your terrified and screaming out murder, right. but I''m still here never did wake up."


    She buried the empty stick in the soft dirt .


    " from then on things where a bit clearer ,like I could breathe again ,so I spent three years trying to figure out who I am .where I am and what the fuck was going on .Time seamed to fly by .even if I spent most of my day remembering while working, everyone thought I was daydreaming and everyone already knew I''m not completely right up here."


    she tapped her head twice with her index shaped like hook.


    " my head always felt stuffed ,kept having having headaches more often than not and when it did I would be on autopilot, a zombie made for cleaning ,polishing ,peeling onions ,so many onions , bringing water from the well ,I hate that bloody well. I hate it so damn mush, and I hate that bitch ,sorry I mean sister Ella for wasting water all the damn time. she fucking loves cleaning already clean shit."


    she really hated sister Ella she was the one to order her around most the time. when she was a zombie that was fine ,but now she hated cleaning all the ,except for her and couple other orphans, impossible to reach places.


    she took a couple of breaths and started again.


    " any way, I''m not on Earth that is very obvious ,asking my "siblings" I figured I''m the only one here at least that can remember Earth and John .John who had a wonderful world, the Fucker .I would kill for one of there croissant or a donut or chicken butter, Gia I miss chicken butter. I don''t really remember the taste I just know it was good. really good and shithead doesn''t know how to make''em all I get is it had something to do with cashews. Chicken butter Mr. River ,all we have is boiled potatoes and carrots ,boiled everything really none of it good. even roasted Ham. they had so many wonderful things you know , dozen dishes I would kill for any single one ."


    she played with stick bending it against the ground her palm on top pushing it in circles making a cone shaped hole and slowly widening it.


    " There are huge differences between earth and Milgard .so many similarities too. Earthers have it good. Real good. Though Earthers don''t got Mana the poor fuckers , pretty weird shit right. No Gates either. No Gia ,Aura, Aqua and ignis neither. Instead they have some debated theoretical dude named Jesus and a couple others too but never met the spirts myself either so who are we to tell them . they get real real weird about it too."


    " they do everything with machines though. And they do it so mush better than us. We are medieval apparently .There houses are longer than you can see .There bridges made from steal .and planes, so so many planes. all without mana"


    she stared at the sky imagining the sound of an airplane passing by and .....then remembered how cramped inside they where, and the crying babes and the stupidly shrunken by the year leg space.


    "I understand it, kinda ,but also don''t understand it . John was a sciencey guy ,like numbers and shit ,so I am too probably. know how a steam engine works but never really made one or John didn''t ,he knew plenty of half remembered random things from Wikipedia or from anime and the internet. mostly YouTube though. what tubes have to do with videos ill never get , john never asked google either. but I can make a plane I think. nothing like they did just an engine and proper shaped wings and I could glide. probably."


    she looked up at the mountains and imagined jumping from with a handmade glider she could almost feel the wind against her face and wondered where was she going to get googles.


    she shook her head. floated the second fish to her and continued again .


    "but they don''t have magic the kind that lets you move rocks with there mind. Make fire at will .haven''t met many besides me who can ,but everyone has gates and I heard stories, the matron and sisters tales of Thoas The builder, or Izk The Wave .and I''ve seen mages on there way to the Wall .but they never did anything and I cant exactly ask for pointers. they had no staffs ,no magey robes, some wore Armor others where normal looking ish .got no clue what a mage does and how. all I know is my magic."


    she felt at chest where her mana came from. devoured the second Fish. she planted the second stick in the cone shaped hole and burped.


    "But Earthers ,Earthers don''t have Gates ,no sprits ,so no magic. I think they used too back before Time ,but not now, or whenever John came from, they just had stories, lots of stories. it had to come from somewhere"


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    she stood up and continued talking to Mr. River ,he was a good listener, didn''t interrupt and heard all you got.


    "There world was still beautiful .John ,John was a shithead even he knew that but his sister ran a company on her own, got it from There dad. Even though john was the born first had a dick and everything , his sister still got the all the stores and the company ran the whole thing on her own too can you believe that. Alone no one looked at them funny or thought it was weird. John worked in a another company as a grunt, barley did anything there and suspects he got the job as favour to his dad or something."


    " he told them he was happy that his sister ran the company ,that he was proud. That she was better at it than him , and it was true she was better .yet deep down, the ugly truth was he hated how his sister was smarter than him, How she always topped his achievements but he did his best not to show it, not to let it ruin his family, He was a good brother. I think he realized that his family could tell though. and he hated him self more for that. He hated how he couldn''t bring himself to work in the company his sister ran."


    "Mean while all I had, is this shitty backword world. Where my parents got rid of me because I''m weird. Where I cant just get a job a man does. where nothing makes sense and all I have in front of me is maybe quoting the Matron if I am lucky being "one the lords maids " and oh how so perfect that would be for me , being a quite little thing I am or walking up to a guard and showing my magic somehow and being sent to the army as a one way trip to the wall. another thing earthers don''t have to worry about.no weird monster race coming in droves wanting to wipe them out. "


    "fucking better yet maybe if they think me pretty enough I get to be some noble lady''s protector and her brothers plaything. john has lots of stories about how horrible nobles get and I haven''t seen anything to the contradict it, if I see one more fucking parade every time some noble comes through town I might just snap."


    tears started running down he face but she didn''t even notice and continued.


    "and that''s on top of me using magic at 11 doesn''t end up sending me to a lab. do mages have labs here? is it weird ? I know earth ,some useful shit , most useless here . There are only three books in the head priest office, none useful, the bible full of bullshit about the spirts, a poetry book I don''t really get. And a plant guide full off plants I haven''t seen. nothing to help me ,no welcome to Milgard ,here is what you gotta know "


    "They read a lot to us from the bible and that''s how I learned to read. I know all my letters and numbers I''m big girl you know. yay me"


    she laughed hysterically at that.


    "So I got nothing really about this world. They don''t tell kids shit. Where like hanger arounds and everyone is always oh so busy to inform us of anything. my only source of info is the gossiping lady''s at The stream on Washing days and that''s mostly stupid shit. Except for the occasional execution or hand chopping that jolts me back to remembering the barbaric shithole this world is . don''t get me wrong I got nothing against hanging murders and punishing thieves, but I just wonder you know ,how many where really murders ,how many thieves had to steal to eat. And would I be one of them if my parents didn''t put a silver coin in the donation box every ceremony. does cutting a hand help. I know the answer already ,got john whispering in my ear but even they didn''t do it right either"


    she sniffed and wiped at her face with her sleeves.


    " Sometimes if I get lucky a talkative merchant brings news to the chapel and I can listen while pretending to clean .Most Merchants usually stop here before heading out on the road few talk to the pretty sisters after praying for a safe journey and what have you.so I know that the fifth prince was just born, know that this is the last lean year and that harvests will better now, know that spring brings more monsters, and winter is a blessing in disguise."


    she started kicking at the dirt under her feet slowly making a depression pulling all the grass and pebble''s with every kick.


    "so that''s that. Those are my options right now ,I know nothing and all I see is the worst cases, just don''t know what to do ,what life to have...and that would be fine mostly. If I was a normal little girl. I just wish I didn''t think every friendly stranger was probably a pedo or instead of being scared of monsters in dark alleys even though we have them , I''m scared of men.im not exited about working for the lord if I''m picked ,because he or his son or men are all probably perverts and I don''t know if they take no for an answer. I don''t want to be married to the first solder that makes a big enough donation. I don''t see princes or fairy tales in my future ,it all seems so bleak. John new non of that has no answers for that."


    she thought for a while and said


    "I think I lost hope before I even got it."


    she stopped kicking at the dirt for it did her no wrong and looked at the uncaring river still flowing by. shew throw all the mana she had lifting every pebble and all the dirt and grass in the small mound she made and through at the river. they hit the river shaped in all manner of ways but the river still flowed, uncaring.


    she was panting now hand one knees bent a little forward. ,and to wait for her gate to fill her up again ,she fought not fall unconscious while mana trickled through her body slowly filling her up ,she tried to open her gate wider, and it slowly infinitesimally did. she continued on. The river my not care but it did listen.


    "its not right you know ,not fair in the least. I should be a child skipping through like its a playground, I shouldn''t think about all these things and worry about my future. planning when I''m goanna have to run from the chapel and training for my future life living as a hermit in the vast wilderness. But I cant because I have Johns life in my head showing me all the beautiful and terrible things in life ,things that should have come with time, lots of time. I''m really surprised I haven''t cracked and tried to respawn already."


    the little girl wiped the tears off her face and then cleared her nose while washing it in the river. She forced a smile again. and tried keeping the sorrow and venom off her voice ,she was to young to sound like that, she thought. she took a sip from the water and a stray thought hit her sighing she got up.


    "I really hope you don''t have any parasites in you mister river.."


    she sat up looked up towards the clear blue sky of spring listening to the serene bird calls all around her and watched as one them dove for a fish ,and couldn''t help but shake her head at the how the weather and nature seemed always against her feelings beautiful days on shitty days and shitty days on good days ,for her definition of good. She hated days like this days where you woke feeling good because the world felt right and warm. where hope was in the air and children''s laughter heard all over ,birds singing ,people smiling for it was such a beautiful day , and then after a while she would remember why shitty weather felt right. why life was ferriable. she knew deep down that her life could be so mush worse. but still it never felt right ,she felt alone ,so alone ..


    she looked down once more and continued ,she might as well end it.


    "Anyhow, that''s me .Anna who remembers being John who sometimes is John but mostly is anna.my magic is thusly wierd.my thoughts are always scattered. I can talk like john did. posh like some of nuns and priests do or mimic the way my "sibling''s" babble ,but usually I stay silent which is my go to personality .you see I''m the creepy silent little girl who no one realizes is there or is not where she should be. That''s what I''m going for at least. I almost think it¡äs magic. But that''s how I get to sneak away on Cermonday and come talk to you Mr. River. I like your fish, there always good."


    she scattered the rocks she used to build a dam to trap the fish in part of the river ,snuffed the fire out and buried the ash under a mountain of dirt.it barley took five minutes maybe even less. Magic is so wonderful ,she couldn''t help but think. She started running towards town pushing mana to every muscle and making sure not to dirty her robes. She heard the bells that marked the end of ceremony''s, she missed the Choir ,damn she thought it was the only part she enjoyed hearing too.


    Soon she reached the chapel ,climbed the tree with her strongest jumps and hid near the top the branches high-up where no one looked up at .waiting for the crowd to come out so she could peek at her mother. She couldn''t help it. even after everything ,she still remembered how warm her lap was. How safe it felt. how her humming made the any pain easier to handle. how the world felt right while she was near. her mother came out while talking to a few other followers. she looked healthy ,she couldn''t help but wonder if she looked for her. she never spoke with her again after she left her here at four. did she think about her at all ? would she want her back if she came to her and acted normal? not that she wanted that. she was freer on the chapel near woods than she would at town. no one paid attention to her except for chores.


    her younger siblings were probably playing somewhere. her elder sister had started showing up with a boy ,she will probably marry soon next year most likely ,17 that''s so young. But not here. here it would be "time". she looked around and saw her father smoking with couple others. boisterous laughing can be heard all the way to where she was.


    Her hand reached to the pebble''s in her pocket. She could imagine sending one straight through his head.no one would probably know. They would scatter and scream and no one would look up. her fist closed around them her hand shacking and white. She breathed put slowly calming herself. She didn''t even know why she hated him so damn mush. she spent a lot time trying to figure it out. Was it because the abandoned her here ? her mom did the same but she never felt that white hot rage burning her when she looked at her.


    her hands left her pocket and she sat there dangling her legs of the branch. trying to remind herself that murder was bad that she was sane. she wouldn''t use magic like that. magic is wonderful she should make rainbow and spark not through pebble''s into a crowd to vent.


    the courtyard under her was filling with people voices ,she opened her eyes again and looked at all the shinny clothes ,everyone and everything looking prim an proper , the nuns where passing out tea and refreshments and everyone was chatting and laughing merry in little groups. and children where running around laughing about. the sun was shining and the weather was cool. She belonged to neither group. Not the children , not the girls peeking every so often at the young men. not them or the adult''s either.


    She couldn''t help but frown.


    She really did hate fucking beautiful days.


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 C01.02 >To kick an attacking Dog<

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    **01.02**


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    She was 14 now . Her time running out. come winter and she would be sent to be apprenticed to someone in town , maid, or if years went without finding work , a sister waiting to be married of. Ella was married as of last summer. Some soldier back from the wall made a donation, had a chat with priest and that was that. she lives in a farm ,last I heard. The weird thing was she was happy. I cant imagine being in her shoes. stuck out in the middle of nowhere with some solder with PTSD probably, fresh from hell there with nothing to do but stick his dick in .if she had two cells in her brain she would have run the fuck off. Instead of smiling and skipping all month before the wedding that sealed there life together .


    she stopped sweeping the autumn leaves in the yard, and imagined using a trickle of mana to get the air to gather the leaves for instead of the old broom she was using ,but that would be stupid. She is already cutting close. With the trips in the woods and the fish she caught. Thank Gia no one is asking a lot of questions.


    next week the lords attendant and head maid would come to the chapel to look at the orphans, according to the matron. They need a lot this time apparently because a few of the main staff went with the lord eldest who just got married. Or so the Matron sources ,ex orphan girls , tell her. I heard her and the priests talking. How jolly they were. who knows how many coins they get per head like a bunch of fucking slavers.


    It was windy and gloomy it was almost dark , her kind of day. yet everyone was still bouncing around with extra step in feet. There where five girls in the orphanage that were between 13 and 17 ,Anna the sixth .and there were three boys and they would probably all get picked. The rest where too young or too old.


    because she can read and write ,she was most likely going. The matron all but confirmed. And if she wasn''t plenty of merchants and scribes will "want" her. the last few years she has bean writing and reading most letters that the head priest wasn''t.


    the Matron was thinking of finding a teacher who would teach the young ones after she got huge response on me. she likes to talk a lot at me. I must have done something terribly wrong because I think shew actually likes me.


    I sighed and stared at the perfect dark clouds above, today is a good day. a voice snapped me out of staring at the sky.


    "hey you done ? I think this will be the last pick up."


    I turned and stared at Dember ,unofficially dubbed dumber , as he came driving the wooden wheelbarrow making sudden turns and having the time his life. he was sweating all other Ew, and smiled a huge big smile like his parents didn''t die and leave him here all alone except for his brother Jake, now Jake was appropriately gloomy. always serios and terrified.


    I just nodded as was in character for me , Luke, dumb to fit in with his friend, came behind him and they started piling the leaves on. I didn''t wait and headed to kitchen.by now food should be ready and she would help scoop The food to the wooden plates to eat with wooden spoons. while listening to the cooks gossip about.


    the plates should be just boiled and so less yucky than yesterday. the deer they caught four days ago was still good after being dried. the orphanage even had an oven ,all brick and everything so they can eat fresh bread most days.


    nothing important was gossiped about today .there is a new trader in town. But she didn''t want to buy anything. The coins she saved/stole by bartering , she figured it was fair since it was the sisters money not the orphans ,and selling fish to the only pub in town was for emergency use only. or when she finally got the courage to run away.


    there was nothing here for her ,she kept telling herself ,but there was always that tiny trickle of doubt.. that maybe just maybe there is a place for her. maybe just maybe she will find something. and so she never ran away , even though she could use all the magic she wanted in the woods. they where vast with nothing going through except the king''s Road to the north splitting the woods in two. maybe a settlement here or village there. But mostly nothing. she would be free. so free she could summon lightening build a castle from mud and rock and trees.


    yet she never did. she has never been alone before ,she remembered John living alone but knew this would be different .


    And so a weak went by while she did nothing. she woke every day hesitating. telling her self she could run after, if she didn''t like it, it would be harder ,yes but it is worth the risk. until the day came where the would come.


    "Up UP girls ,rise and shine all , come on girls Up "


    I''m already up you jolly bitch stop screaming


    the matron looked around behind her stood the three spinster sisters all looking menacing


    "right... to baths all of you "


    "make sure to look your best today ,scrub everywhere ,under nails ,teeth , hair everywhere and I mean everywhere ,go on I don''t want to see any blemish on any of you "


    no hulling water , no starting a fire. I guess they took care of that already no wonder they looked menacing.


    we walked a babble of exited voices happily prancing around ,Marsha the bundle everyone called joy ,I saw stupid, skipping down the hallway and across the back yard to the bathrooms.


    we took a bath all five of us ,that''s a thing about the orphanages there no singular in the things you do. Everything is done in groups. we scrubbed and scrubbed everything ,got dressed in our newly washed clothes ate breakfast in gowns before that and started daydreaming mean soon after praying. The matron talked and talked about what we should be ready for about how we should show them we raised right and all the shit the zooned me put before she was a tenth in to her sermon


    The carriage arrived soon after. being pulled by two horses while we lined up as a reception everyone ,me always not included ,was exited and giddy. I had a hole in my stomach. but it was to late now.


    The driver opened the door ,because they cant open a fucking door, and the head attendant stepped out followed the head maid.one look and you could tell everything they are about, they where old and looked exactly like there roles.as if it was all they are.no work life balance I guess.


    I couldn''t help but stare at the head maid. Even If everything went right. And I mean really right that was the end of my path. The pinnacle of what I can become. an old lady with more pride in a uniform she wore than she should have.


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    better than a fuckdoll i guess. wait probably was a fuckdoll to grandpa noble or something ......ah fuck


    "... And this is Anna I take it , the one that can read and write Samuel?"


    I snapped at the mention of my name and looked at the head priest and head attendant. he looked sceptical ,extremely like reading was that hard. the old maid and Matron where still chatting.


    head attendant was now in front of me .he took note book from his pocket opened a page and held to me.


    "would you mind reading this for me little miss?"


    do I play dumb ? should I play dumb ? do I really wanna be maid ? ¡­ fuck just do it go with flow see what fate has in store. And all that shit


    "Aura heralds rest


    before spring breaks


    the falling leaves leave us Aqua and it''s Grace"


    what in holyshit is this, why does he look proud the fuck is with this guy, trying to be a poet ? some Haku shit ,I mean I know nuns wear kimono here but WTF


    "forgive me Priest Samuel , I should have not doubted you"


    "haha no no , I would have done the same , Anna here is an extremely diligent young lady. but never mind that I didn''t know you wrote such beautiful poetry you never mentioned "


    "oh no not all ,its something I merely dabble in , Rides do get long as you know doubt are familiar"


    they continued , and I personally thought the dude was lying it on thick but the sir butler looked extremely pleased.


    in the end we where dismissed and told to pack, not that we had much to pack. we where all taken. half would go to the lords manor and the other to the new villa in the capital.


    I packed my spare set of clothes in pillow case , my coins and dagger in between , and headed outside. couldn''t handle the jumping and excitement the others where going through.


    I took a tour through the chapel ,this was my chance to steal anything if I wanted. but there was nothing to steal. I grabbed a pair of apples and threw them in bag. I have no idea where they keep the coins , and I still have a sole ,I wouldn''t steal and make the kids go hungry. that''s like kicking a puppy. you just don''t do it. although they''re vicious here so maybe I would kick a dog not a puppy. never a puppy .it would have to be really ugly but I would, I would kick a fucking dog.


    I went outside and saw that the carriage had a hanger on. A two wheeled open roof back ,as the youngest beside Marsha I''m pretty sure that''s where I go ,with Marsha, Emily and lore. Denmar and Luke where already sitting next to the driver.. poor horses they will have to push so many. I went back to the kitchen took more apples and started feeding them , the driver smiled at me. suddenly Jake came carrying two buckets full of water and apples, and I slid back on top the hanger wagon feeling that my job just became useless.


    I''m guessing it would still take a while I covered my face with my hand and sleeve. Lay on the straw covered wagon and slowly dozed off. sorting dogs into kickable when attacked and non-kickable dogs.


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    The carriage was crawling on the road. it moved at tractors pace. Emily and lore were playing clapping hands with extra moves going faster and faster until one made a mistake. Marche happily hummed along there song and stared at there hands amazed. I took one of the apples from my sack and bit on it. Marche stared at me with wide puppy eyes , drooling at the apple in my hand like it was a kings feast or chicken butter ,without saying a word I gave her the second apple. the girls laughed but Marche paid them no mind ,hummed and giggled content biting and chewing her apple. she made it look so good that I almost denied we were eating the same thing.my apple tasted bland , hers looked full of flavour. but I knew even if we somehow switched apples .it would still be the same.


    But that''s Marsha. she would build heaven out the most mundane things and be happy. The embodiment of little joys in life. I envied her. There is no way for me to me to be able to do that. She looked happier and healthier in her ignorant bless, than me and all the "wisdom" I have. bleh..


    the hours trickled by as we went around the town not through passing by a couple of the Farms. until we reached the Manor I looked up ,and it was the went to the back gate and realized how huge it really was , two stories in U shape the base was presumably the main entrance, we headed to right side building where The Head maid got off and spoke up.


    "Girls this where we get off, Bertenand will Handle the boys. come on. alright then follow me. "


    and so the sixth of us followed along like she was are mother duckling the girls had there hands squashed together in tight fists. Marche was skipping oblivious to the world and I hung back, watching everyone.


    soon we went inside down ana open hall way where we met Agatha a senior Maid.


    "Agathe would take the new girls to the room they been given would you , make sure there nicely settled."


    "will do MS.Beth"


    "this is we where we split girls , I shall see you tomorrow morning up and early for your uniform sizing."


    with that she took off Gia know where and left us with four eyes Agathe mean stare.


    she turned and started walking and talking as fast as she possible could.


    "There are many things you would have to learn if you want to work here long. I could give you a list but I doubt you will hear most of what I say...." she turned and saw that none moved yet, she sighed


    "what do you think your doing , follow along , do I have to spell every bloody thing ... come on then "


    with a jolt everyone moved.


    "as I was saying , many things you have to learn , including when I walk , you walk if I run you run your job for the first few weeks at least will be an extra hand. that is all you will be. The senior maids know what needs doing and you will be there to make the work ever so slightly faster. Winter is coming and that means a lot overnight guests and balls and dinners. we do not have time to teach you anything so follow along and do your best. "


    she seemed to think of something as we reached a room. With at least 8 bunkbeds and small dressers scattered about inside.


    "You must understand that you are not at the chapel anymore. This is not your home. This is where you work except for this room and this room alone, always act as if it is cermonday. polite smiles and laughs and everything else. outside this wing you do not run , skip ,play, hum or anything the draws any attention to you. we are somewhat free in this wing but nothing compared to the chapel. always remember and pay attention. follow and do as we do."


    she breathed out. mentioned to the door. and carried on


    "get settled , this room is for you alone right now unless we get more girls. Tomorrow one of the senior Maids will give you a tour of Manor where the basic rooms are and what to expect. You will mostly be working in this wing ,but just in case. ill be back shortly with blankets gowns and a brush you may share."


    she took off and we settled in. I wated for everyone to pick a bed before I picked the farthest away. I put my clothes ,and hung a sheet between bunk beds so that I have a little privacy. This small space will probably be my only sanctuary.


    we settled in and we had nothing to but wait. as the sky slowly darkened Agatha ,came back put everything and showed us the way to the staff kitchen and dinning hall at the same time. We eat are fill with the Matron asking how we felt, met the rest of Maids and staff. interestingly the stable boys got there dinner alone ,and the attendant ate separately. so far things were good.


    Weeks went by with our work , as warned , being in this one wing. Much of it was Washing or doing dishes. Rarely did we have to go to the rest of the estate and it was always with one of the older Maids. My coins pouch grew steadily week by week and slowly winter Came.


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 C01.03 >Hot spring , or hot Stream<

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    **01.03**


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    Winter was the season of calm. You stayed indoors, lit as many fires as you could and kept them lit. It was a time for hobbies and quite contemplation.


    For common people.


    Nobels had it very different I learned this month. They gathered from all over the County in The Counts mansion , drank wine by the barrels and had a party every night. Musicians played , a jester group was even playing tomorrow I heard.


    good for them I thought at first , but quickly it became clear that their happiness came at our expense. We washed the dishes they drank and ate from ,washed the clothes they wore, and made the beds where they slept.


    that was the grunt work.


    the senior maids had it a lot worse in my opinion they had to serve the food and drinks deal with there tantrums and every


    asinine wish. the kitchen was always busy and food was made by the ton to feed all them and the retainers and guards they brought camped outside even in this weather.


    and woe the nanny''s that delt with the children , oh yes the little devils came too.


    It kept me busy and I didn''t know the work enough for my mind to wander. Every morning I would wake up or be woken up before dawn. A group would clean the dishes from last night with cold almost freezing water, another would help prep in the kitchen. we split more after that. some went with senior maids other''s would do odd tasks and others clean the rooms everyone used.


    Agatha ran everything basically and we learned fast that she is basically the head maid and her word was law. what the did actual head maid do was up in the air. Agatha had an interesting system , she would assign you the worse tasks if you took more time to complete a task than she thought you would. you always had to report to her when you were free , and personally did spot checks on everyone work.


    I got assigned to this hallway. it takes about thirty min for each room on average and than more for the bathroom. there are 14 in total and each with same design in a 6 meter space. I''m still at the third.


    its my second time doing this, but the very first time I was alone.


    it was midday but the sun was not showing at all. I turned from the window I was staring at and put a log in the fire, it was the last log so I marked the number on the wood plank I carried. after I started making the bed, it was done fast , so I checked the piss pot, it was empty so I moved on picking the clothes that were scattered on the rug a trouser with underpants and a cotton shirt the rest were hung so I left them and headed to the hallway I closed the door behind me put the clothes on the basket right outside, id take it to the closet at the end of the hallway with all the dishes. I marked the basket with the room imaginary number , writing with the coal stick ,L for left wing 2 for floor and 3 for the room.


    someone will pick all the full basket''s and dishes with a trolly . I headed for room 4 and knocked. no answer came, all the guest where doing some activity or game this time of day , but just in case I always did. after all I didn''t want to walk in on people doing it, I had heard stories.


    I opened the door and went inside I closed the door. I looked inside but the room was dark and the fire was out, I headed to the window and opened the curtains to let light in. I turned and took a look , the room was practically untouched the desk was the only place that looked used , except for maybe the bed , the curtains were closed and so it was probably used I opened the curtains and was about to tie them to the post ,when I came face to face with a man. he looked like he just woke up.


    I froze hand still clutching the curtains.


    I probably woke him up.


    shit .. I knocked , I did fucking knock right.


    "f-forgive me sir , I was just cleaning and didn''t think anyone was here. ill come back later"


    I finally manged to get a sentence out while he was still rubbing his eyes.


    he stood up as I turned to leave and he spoke


    "stop ¡­ you can clean now .. I was just about to wake up so fret not"


    fuck... my hand unconsciously touched my side were a pocket was sewn.


    I tried to think of a way out , but nothing came.


    I turned and bowed and hesitatingly answered. "yes milord"


    he had only a short on and he was stretching his hands and shoulders as he moved to the corner of the room where the pot was, pulled it out and soon the room was filled with only the sound of piss hitting the pot in a stream.


    the room was clean and I had only the desk or bed it was clear choice and I headed there , pushing the chair under it .i started gathering what was left of the food to silver tray. my mind was still trying to come up with a way to leave.


    could I just head to the door, and deal with consequence''s later. if I ask for another assignment will Agatha give me it ,will she understand. is this shit normal ? I''m I overreacting ? he wont do anything right he leave just leave.


    john experience kept screaming DANGER , my mind was racing blood was pumping, ears ringing and I could come up with nothing.


    hopefully he will just leave.


    I stared at the Tray in my hand and an epiphany


    or maybe I can


    maybe I can take them out to cupboard at the end of the hall. now usually that was done last with clothes. but I can pretend its normal. I was about to do that but froze as a hand tight on my shoulder made me drop it and turn.


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    what is he doing


    was the first stupid thought


    how the fuck was he so silent.


    was the second


    he was naked and slowly leaning , I could feel it poking my side with a smug smile while his other hand stroked his thing said


    "help me clean this would you?"


    I was freaked out. I knew this could happen. I really did. I shouldn''t be this scared or surprised. these last months where nice. my head didn''t hurt anymore I was slowly getting used to the work. it was growling but I was paid well.


    I was even getting to know my roommates and the other maids better, they said I opened up. I manged to read a book In my free day, the library was even open to staff. I thought life was good.


    so I forgot . just for a little while I had forgotten how shitty the world was. I should have known. I believed the fa?ade, like the beautiful days and we know how that turned out.


    how many maids have been through this. how many will this fucker want the same from. his hand had already left my shoulder and was traveling through my my body he was towering over me and I turned , he looked so smug.


    my heart beats calmed , and my mana gushed from my gate no longer restrained. I lifted my head my eyes had turned from scared and wide to dead, my jaw had set no longer in a stupid smile . my hair seemed to flutter about. every inch had fill with mana.


    I pulled my hand out of the pocket it had subconsciously went to , and this time it wasn''t empty .


    The fuckers face had changed from smug to surprise he pulled back , was about to say something but I didn''t want to hear it my palm was already open and his head just went splat. and his body fell backward.


    I breathed out the breath I was holding and stared at his body. his dick slowly went flat, the blood was gushing out , I could hear it going out in pumps. I couldn''t take my eyes of his head. one pebble that all it took. the wall behind had web cracks in it and rocks fell out.


    I stood there for what felt like forever, my mind was calmer than it had been all my life.


    I have to run now


    that was what finally snapped me out of it . I looked around the room looking for a pouch or anything of value and small enough. I found nothing but a gold ring on the body. I was hoping for a gold pouch but I found none . I took it ,I could hear footsteps outside in the hallway. the rock did make a loud sound and I didn''t think of that.


    "search the rooms"


    "sir"


    I looked at the window the glass was already shattered but hadn''t fallen off . it was facing the east, the maid rooms was on the other side. my pouch and dagger was there I would need them if I''m going anywhere.


    Mind made up I carefully opened the window and steeped on the ledge. I pushed as much mana as I could on to my legs before climbing down and slowly letting go aiming for the bushes outside the open hallway.


    I manged it , but my inertia sill pushed me deep down and branches cut my hands and legs.


    that fucking hurt


    one of my feet was bleeding a little but the bushes slowed my fall so I didn''t get hurt. I was in the inner court yard now I fixed my appearance as best I could taking leaves and broken stick out while hiding in the open hallway. I reached the staff wing ignoring the looks every one was giving me ,and trying not to look worried.


    Finally I reached my room took my pouch and dagger and packed everything I could into a pillowcase and opened the window. the Castel was already in uproar and i knew my time was running out. but I was counting that the would look at from mages first to the servants last .


    The door suddenly opened and I looked back. hand already reaching to my pocket. It stopped once I saw Marche. I didn''t know what to do. she hasn''t seen me yet and she looked hurried and scared ,she finally turned after closing the door and seeing me was about to say something but my finger was on my lips , she looked confused and without waiting for her I jumped out the window.


    The west side of Castel had a small orchard , there was one tree that was close to the wall and that tree was one I could climb. my Gate was fully open my body was full of mana it took two jumps to reach the wall height checking no one was there I jumped on to it.


    I thought I would see guards but there were none. I looked over and the floor was to far. I cant use my magic to fly , I had tried before. but there was a tree a little further than the rest . my other option was to go down the tower.


    should I risk it though ?


    I made up my mind and threw the sack over the wall as far as I could. went back and then started running along the wall at angel and at the last second jumped with all the mana I could push to my legs.


    I reached the tree and my hand slammed against the branch , almost dropped but I hung on. my feet where killing me, a fall might have been better. I climbed down the tree and went to pick my sack.


    Suddenly I heard laughter as a door opened and closed and I rushed to the woods crossing over the road we first came through first time I came here .each step hurt but I maid it behind a tree. a guard slowly came into view on the wall a Tobacco pipe in his mouth as he looked around. It felt like forever but he eventually left.


    I ran ignoring the pain each step taking me deeper and deeper into the woods. faster and faster as I can. until I felt a little safer . I stopped midway to change and filled my pockets with more rocks , and at better pace kept heading further in. the ground slowly started getting steeper and the trees were sparser.


    it was really cold and getting colder the higher I up got , the wind was picking up with less trees to break it , like swords stabbing my bones deeper . I then realized that my second emergency plan was shit.


    it would take hours for me to reach another town. I could maybe find a village if I went around the mountain and found a road , but they would ask questions and I had no good answer. that''s without a man hunt that killing a Nobel would cause. the could send riders on the road , if they haven''t already.


    I don''t know these woods. I have never been here before. it felt colder and unwelcoming compared to Mr. Rivers woods. the trees were lifeless the ground hard and I have only seen crows , black and bleak. fitting for this day.


    its been hours since I ran, and the sky was darkening now by the second. it was almost completely dark when I caught a break and found a cave near a small clearing. I went inside after gathering as many sticks as I could for a fire to keep me warm.


    The cave went deep in splitting to three paths one looked manmade, letting up a ball of fire to see , I realized then that it had support beams. it was a mine. ignoring that I went to the entrance on the left, it felt like the mane entrance , it was about five meters of twisting pathways in that it stopped to a cave.


    it had water inside but it was hot, so the room was thankfully warmer than I expected I felt like I won a lottery. it was late and I was tired , I dropped all the sticks I was carrying put my sack in a corner opposite the entrance and laid down putting the flame out.


    I tried to sleep doing my best to ignore the sound of slow stream and the condensing drops of water on the cave roof falling on slanted ground. but all these noises reminded me of the sound of the blood pooling on the floor. the head squashed and unrecognizable.


    My breathing became erratic my heartbeat rising again after it barley got down. I got up and mad a fireball again . I''m dead tired but I cant sleep and I don''t think ill ever forget that scene. I looked at the hot spring , no hot stream and had an idea.


    I let a stick up and then tried to make it upright with other sticks surrounding it didn''t really work , sighing I took my clothes off ,after that got in the water, it went to my stomach barley at the deepest end , but it was warm and relaxing.


    I felt the tension go out as my body slowly warmed up I washed my face then laid down with my whole body except my face submerged. without planning to I fell asleep in the water.


    <hr><hr>

 C01.04 > War or grief<

    <hr><hr>


    **01.04**


    <hr><hr>


    This was Lark first hurrah before being sent to the wall. His gate has only opened last year , and all  he was able to do then was send sparks at anyone who touched him .


    Nothing like it is now. He still went to the wall . For family For Honour, his family hasn''t sent anyone in two generations ,his Grandfathers brother was the last to go and he did not come back.


    There blood was becoming weaker and weaker, as his grandma saw it. more urgently there gold is running out.


    At first they sent a hundred Men as by law to equal an absent mage and they would be paid Ten gold each, a Crown a year , and that is next to the hundred men a barony normally sent. When less men returned They sent a Crown gold for every Solider not sent and how embarrassing that was.


    The last decade they could only send Gold. Half a century of payments ran there coffers empty , there Barony empty of able men. most families have lost a man to the wall already if not more.


    But this year they only sent fifty Crown gold , fifty men and him . beside the thirty crown gold worth of food and that''s a lot of food, equal payment to one silver per head in the barons land, it was taken from crop taxes and so the coffers could take a breath this year.


    He would go each year , get stronger , rank higher and higher , until they were paid for him going. if he could stand on the fifth wall during a wave they would have to pay him a Crown a day and a gold on none instead of paying in men or gold he would be enough and more.


    He would get more training , He would be able to handle himself before he saw any combat. he only saw one dever so far and they took it out before he did anything , it wasn''t even on the wall , he was being hauled back already dead supposedly.


    The wall is just the best place to train now. Most mages gathered there and so you would find someone of the same or similar evocation and he had. Master Simon was heling, he wasn''t quite an apprentice , but close enough for now. he just had to impress him.


    He had promised that he would come back again, he would do his best to survive and then come visit again next winter , stronger and better. already the voices calling in to doubt his father quieted this gathering after he came back , he was not a fluke . he would have to take over the family at least in public now .


    He was already being treated as the head at 17. His father was all for it. His mother proud and his siblings looked at him with aspiring eyes , Jonathon especially looking determined .


    Life was looking up , and he was truly proud.


    But there was just this minor complain, this little thing he could not get out of his head.


    He couldn''t get laid. doesn''t even know what to do. He came from a backwater barony , hasn''t been to that many balls.his parents where right there in most balls.


    There''s only a month left before everyone would have to go back and he would have nine months of army life , up at dawn training on free days and being scared shitless on the first wall on wave days, and long boring shifts at the second wall on normal days even though no dever has reached there in at least five years.


    They were now drinking in a balcony, just the boys playing dice. This group bounded together by misery.


    He let out a sigh. He lost another five copper.


    Dan laughed at him


    "it''s only coppers mate chill "


    he thought a minute, and decided to get help at this point it was about to just fall of ,being stiff all the damn time ,he couldn''t be the only one !


    " not that, its just really hard to get some .. and I don''t know anyone here ,.. now back home I had .. this girl , she worked in the kitchen and she was so hot , Aqua knows how much I miss her boobs, we had this arrangement you could call it , she had the best boobs .. just perfect fit for my hand, you know "


    just remembering made him suffer , he used that image a lot.


    She was his first ¡­ and only, but they didn''t need to know that , she came into his room one night and the rest was history. she was older and taught him a lot. The next day he was moved to his own wing at the time he just went with it.


    now though he realized that the walls were a little to thin in the keep. and his parents knew. he wasn''t going to marry her , his mom made it clear when they spoke. and Jasmine was fine with it , she knew and didn''t mind.


    They had an arrangement he would pay for all the herbs , gift her things she wanted. nothing to expensive they weren''t that rich, so she wouldn''t bare anything or worry for the rest of her life if he can help it . they enjoyed each over. she took care of everything in his quarters, from food to clothes. he wasn''t stupid he knew she had moved up in the ranking , was being paid more. but she made him happy ,she hasn''t slept anywhere but his bed since.


    he missed her. Couldn''t she have come with his parents .


    He looked up , to the blank faces compared to his reminiscing, shit did he share to much ?


    the balcony was silent the two not making a sound , mark barley says anything anyway. but dan let the silence hang for a little too long and burst out laughing.


    "you got nothing ... like all year , never went to last town .. no pretty barmaid there .. nothing ?"


    I gave him the blank look he gave me before and shook my head


    Dan took a drink, put his hand on my shoulder looking straight in my eyes, i knew it was coming , the fucker like to do these bits , he thought it made him funny, so in his grave mocking voice said


    " I will now share with you some the wisdom I have gathered from brothers before us , so listen will my troubled pupil . There are many ways one stiff as thee my break his Fast, I shall give you the easiest as you are not yet ready for the advanced ways of are order , follow my guidance and one day you may as well reach my station , Nobel maiden hearts shall be taken with thee as they are with me "


    " but for now you merely have to follow this bit of small wisdom for you are not yet ready for the rest"


    I knew he was fucking around like always , but I still listened as he went on


    "hear me well , I shall not repeat myself ¡­ just fucking pay for it mate "


    I dropped his hand from shoulder


    " fuck you dan "


    "no .. no seriously mate hear me out , pay for it . its not even that much ill show you the best brothels in haven street when we get back ,but if your strung now pay for it because all the girls you see here yeah, in the balls and the ones you dance with , wont damn give you the time of day. they know we have nine years left and cant leave the army, four if we make it on the fourth wall. They will not be taking chances on us we are to young and bring nothing to the table. on top of that , no offence , the Beltens are not exactly famous."


    He took another drink and carried on.


    "I''m in the same ship as you , mark too .. the billy nobles "


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    Mark gave a rare nod at that and cheered


    " so when I get stiff I just pay for it. you don''t even have to go far , there is a brothel next town over that wont rob you blind "


    I sighed , maybe I should , but brothels... that''s a whole day , three hours to , if I can get horse and then again back .


    he looked up at the sky was already brightening a little


    dan interrupted my thoughts as if he could read them


    " tell you what , you don''t have to go that far . remember the maids that served us drinks , yeah ? "


    at my look , he continued on. they were hot not easily ignored in my state .


    " they cost more, like a gold , but you could. there''s this whole way to go about it too and they know too , its sort like for the boys if you can afford it "


    He poured us another drink , even mark was paying attention


    " here is how you do it. you say some suggestive shit touch hear or there , and make sure to leave the coin on the bedside table when she comes to your room, and that''s it. "


    but a fucking gold ? j¡­ yeah better than having everyone asking where I was the whole day or wating a month till I can sneak away.


    I just got ten from dad , I could do it.


    The topic done we sat in silence . until mark spoke.


    " you repeated your self "


    " what ?"


    " he said he wont repeat himself , then repeated himself , at least four times . I counted."


    Dan looked at Mark , then me and then we laughed. Mark just smiled. he rarely spoke but it was always weird observations. every time I eat meat at the wall I have to wonder if it was cooked dever.


    they don''t look appetizing all gangly and muscle but that was mark, he put off everyone at the cafeteria that day. I could swear the elder mages looked knowingly.


    we drank the rest of wine and played on till the sky was too bright. every one else was asleep or waking up ,we almost past out then and there , but we made it to our rooms , mark helping dan and me just barley hanging on.


    I threw my clothes off of me when I reached the room and put of them in a corner , military order still ingrained in me , untied the curtains and then remembered what dan said took a gold from my storage tried to put at the desk, there was no bedside table, and then I just passed out in the bed barley making sure the curtains are closed.


    <hr><hr>


    There was a murder on the counts mansion. He was pissed. A mage time on break from the wall was sacred, no one is to bother them. The are outside the games and politics of the realm until there service is done at least.


    He sighed , how do you deal with this. no one has said anything outright but everyone is looking at the Grass¡äs as if they have to have done it , the father was looking for war he had hinted enough at it , and if I give no other answer today , he would have it.


    I couldn''t deny him that without a reason. although rarely done , war between nobles in a domain do happen. albeit in an organized manner, after all this is Elcadia we have other things to worry about.


    Viscount Grass looked offended. I could tell that he did not do it , he is a straight shot of a man. I still confirmed where he was ,


    I was looking at his eldest and he too looked baffled, my spy heard there discussions they were all as oblivious as us. maybe one of them paid a rouge mage. but I cant shake the feeling that they haven''t done it either.


    He wasn''t stupid, he wanted the barony that is clear yet he had never done anything this outside the law. he bent most times but has never done something like this, or even a little close to it. before today he looked resigned that the Beltends were out of hot waters and so wouldn''t be absorbed . there late son already showing so much promise.


    So not him either. someone who wants war ? is this an attack at me ? a baron and viscount going to war won''t trouble me that much. it would be a waste , sure but by the end I would likely have a new larger viscounty , and the viscount will dominate in the south. the barony wont win this, the viscount reputation would take a hit.


    in this case a war might be a positive. but spring is coming. one less mage is not an issue the viscount would pull his three mages too for this war as anyone might attack if war was declared in the south. so that''s four. and about a thousand soldiers. more gold would be paid ,but we are not lacking gold.


    so war is not a positive. Gold we have, people we need. and it would be a waste.


    who did it ?


    its been two days, and we found nothing. the manor was searched. none here are kinetic mages and most who are use iron not pebbles , if they did it would break and disintegrate yet this one didn''t. no elementalist that strong either. the pebble was odd too. smooth nothing you pick around hear.


    he rubbed the pebble between his fingers.


    right , its not his job to figure things out , it was weird magic and he was curios about it so why not call a professional, he has enough work to do.


    right that''s what we do , no war , someone to find out who and how. Eric would be perfect , he has an interest in weird magic same as me.


    right that''s what we do.


    "My lords we are at an impasse. The manor has been searched , no mages could pass the wall without triggering it , nothing was found and we know not what has been done "


    he showed a grave face


    "Lord Beltend I will not do you the disservice of forgetting the matter because no culprit was found. We will find what happened , I will do my best I swear, Aura be my witness."


    Oh everyone is looking a little better, the rest of the nobles are muttering. but no one is scared, lord Grass is wary. but I can see why. he hopes none of his are implicated.


    "This murder was on my grounds, and you were my guests. so I apologize for my fallings , as repropose , what little it may help your grief , know that I will pay your contributions for ten years at least, twenty if no mage comes again from your house in Ten , but I hear Jonathon is showing promise "


    He is looking a little relieved now , good.


    " but it is my hope that you show patience and not ask for war , spring is near so the wall needs every man "


    He looks surprised , is that surprise ? what did I miss


    "Milord , I am grateful for your help. I truly am. and not so foolish to ask for a war I know would crumble my house. I''m not a arrogant man. my father almost brought our family to the ground seeking glory and wealth , yet lost booth, so I learned from his mistakes. I think you mistook me for him. he would not have let the matter go and seeked war or more gold "


    that''s probably it , and what I thought would happen. he would ask for more gold hinting at war , be paid more by me under the table and then the matter would be settled , yet he brought it all upfront. damn I don''t know this Beltend , I dealt with his father mostly but he rarely came here. I missed up.


    what did I miss , what about all those hints! he showed anger , he still looks angry ¡­. so not war , angry but not stupid enough to ask for war.


    everyone was looking at him , no Nobel should besmirch his own.


    " I would ask only for the culprit. my son was murdered. I am a father before a noble. if that makes me unsuitable to be a baron. I would pass it on, I care not. my son is dead. nothing would bring him back. I ask for the murder dead should he be found ,not the man who throw the pebble but the one who asked it be done. that is all. Little it will help , but that is all "


    I read him wrong, that rarely happens any more , grieving ... huh


    "I know and that is why I called for Aura judgments, he should be here within a week, Judge Elmond , yes him , he will know what happened. preservation spells have been cast on the room, and he will tell us what he see''s "


    "then I shall wait his arrival , I will wait to burry my son. I thank you Lord Raymond for preserving his body , may Aura judgment be Swift."


    Lord belted nodded, bowed , and returned to his standing position. The tense atmosphere lessened a little and everyone was talking again some excited, lord Beltend was still grieving he left soon after , none of the family except him were here. I kept my eye on the Grass family and none of them looked worried, about themselves at least . even the retainers. none of them had admitted to anything in private either.


    soon the gathering was over , I returned to my office. finding bertnand already there.


    "Ask Lura to cast the reservation spell berty would you .. and bring me a scroll and pen I need to write to Eric , he still owes me a favour I think ... i won the last bet"


    "lady Emoulura has cast the spell on a crystal and it has been placed in the room. I would hold on to the pebble you have as well so it may be examined. I took the initiative and wrote a letter in paper, lord Elmond hates scrolls. and I paid extra attention to mention all the particularities in it, A rider should be on the road by now and will reach the mage tower to send it by tomorrow if he cant find him in the city. if we are lucky he would be here in a week as you said."


    I smiled at that.


    " that''s why I cant let you quit berty, I cant let you spend your time on poetry I would die with out you "


    I sat on my desk , checking on the paper. berty went to wall and pulled a thick book. the book of obligation''s I called it. it had everything pertaining to our section of the wall , I needed to find a mage and a hundred men. Men were not an issue, they had less use on the wall. but a mage needs to be sent , to keep the numbers at least and make a show of it. someone''s vacation would be cut short but they will be paid an extra Rank.


    I added the barons yearly contributions to the wall in the exempt side noting the year it ends. wrote the declarations on three scrolls signed and gave one to Berty. he would give it to the baron without anyone seeing. one to be put in the underground library and one to stay in the book of obligations.


    we need more mages. more men. The dever waves are getting more concentrated by the year. we have more mages than ever, but none like the old. most with weak magic. more Elemntalist than I can count. but fewer and fewer space mages, Traditional mages that are taught like Lura are a rarity when they were and should be the main.


    The academy is becoming emptier , fewer people passing the tests and compatibility . even though it was lowered. everyone has there own personal magic , or family magic and we cant seem to make as many mages as we used to. a wild mage is becoming the norm , and a taught mage the rarity. something went wrong somewhere. Even the wild mages of today are a lot weaker , a far cry from the Builder , who grew buildings from mountains like they were trees.


    I finished everything I had to do today . this is my vacation too , or it should be. although it feels like I work more than my normal days. Lura is even busier , we barley see each other alone except for bed at night. and she is up at dawn even before me.


    I headed to my room. but Lura was already asleep , damn did I spent too long in my desk.


    I took of my clothes and snuck next to her stealing her warmth and snuggling happily .


    the long day already forgotten.

 C01.05 > Dream <

    Wilderness life was not what I trained for. there was no river near by, so I had no fish , no fruits or barriers to pick I could find. my plan for winter was always prepare for it in autumn. it was not recommended to run In winter. the only food I had was acorns, crows and squirrels. I had to wear my maid clothes on top of my normal clothes. I''m still cold. I cleaned and dried the squirrel fur and bird feathers stuffing them and tying them to my legs and I was still cold. until I figured how to use mana to heat my body, nothing I know says it should work, but it did. my mana spread to my whole body and it was doing something to heat the temperature. I found out later that it somehow stole heat from something else, like fire and directly gave some of it to me. it made things better but it was still hard to stay out side long.


    on the the fifth day I caught a lucky break and found a small cave with young bear inside sleeping. I murdered him, one hit to the brain with a trusty pebble . my knife had to be re sharpened a couple of times before I was done skinning it. I tried not cut the stomach or bowls, but I didn''t have a rope to hang the bear and it was to draining to lift up , I did not mange even a centimetre of the ground before I was empty of mana.


    I still kept pieces of the meet and the whole fur, taking two trips and laying it in the empty cavern on clean rocks I washed when I got back. I washed the meat too and slowly dried it with fire at least a meter away before leaving it to cure. I don''t know how it works , but I hope it doesn''t go bad and what I did helped.


    I buried the rest and hoped it wont get animals to follow me, there was so much blood and everything smelt like shit. but I did it. if I ate slowly the shoulder and leg I took and the back meat could last with rationing and the occasional bird ,acorn or squirrel to winter''s end. I had gathered plenty of wood and was using the other room more than the hot spring these days, it was stuffy there. I''d already felled at least four trees to make a make shift bed, the floor was hard., two doors or planks to keep heat in and steam away. and lots of fire wood. using a sharp shaped rock as an axe , but I was not always accurate and the process was tedious. I had to stand a bit away because I was scared it would fall on me, or splinters would hit me and break my skin.


    On day thirteen my hideaway was finished. so far I had trained my magic. I kept my gate wide open always and tried to get more mana out but my mana left my body and just disappeared if it had nothing to do. so I played with water and earth making shapes of fish flying over head, sand castles made of dirt I shaped better pebble''s to , styled like bullets and arrow heads, some hollow for maximum damage some as soft ball of dirt as warnings only. I made so many that the filled to baskets on there own. I tried with rock but it didn''t work , I could bark pebbles shaping them a little bit , but none like dirt. so I did that too , I shaped as rocks as I could and filled two baskets.


    I barley wasted a couple of days doing that , I was bored so that sent me on another mission. I made a bed out of dirt and used the bear hide as cover at night and cloak by day. I covered the entrance with a wall of mud and rocks leaving only enough space for me to squeeze by. I tried making a door using sharp thin rocks as nails but the wood always split. so I left it as planks stock together with wooden nails that moved every time. I even made a dresser the same way. a desk and small wooden planks if I wanted to write with coal I made burning the tips of stick just enough for them to blacken it didn''t work well but it was enough to mark days. and I had no idea how they are made. I made a kitchen , sort of with a fire place I could use to warm the room or cook on. it was rocks dirt and a large stone with a place for fire underneath.


    And today is day 19 . I got up added a line marking day 19 then took a bath. ate some acorns and jerky for breakfast. I would have to hunt some more today even if I didn''t need to, the bear-jerky meat was just awful and I would not eat it unless I had nothing else.


    so I headed out the opposite side of the mountain ,I found more acorns , a squirrel and then I even found a stream and I realized it was where the hot spring in the cave led too today was a good day I figured . so I sat there for a while watching steam rising in the air as the water came out , until I caught sight of a herd of deer coming to drink on the other side of the bank.


    I snuck closer as slowly as I could using the trees for cover until I was close enough to shoot, I aimed at one of the deer at the back using my new bullets and fired , I missed two but the third hit and the rest of dear scattered.


    I ran up to my catch as a lone wolf came close to it, I hadn''t seen him , so I fired another pebble and it backed away as it hit near it. I saw o need for it to die, it would take too long for a round trip. I had hit the deer two times apparently but one was in the shoulder the other is what did it , straight throw through the eye. I would go about this better than the bear, I had planned for my next catch. I didn''t know it was today but I still brought a basket. I used magic to bring the ground up , it was a lot harder with the dear on top but I managed. I felt wrung out but I would preserve. the first thing I did was use my knife to get rid of nick letting all the blood flow out on to the slightly slanted table. and draining down to hole. I sealed that up and made another for the stomach , bowls and all the organs. I kept the liver only. I buried that too. my cloak was bloodied but I can wash it later.


    I carefully skinned , learning from my previous experience making fewer holes . I cut it the peace''s as small as I could. the shoulders and legs staying whole. the wolf came by , I took petty on it and fed the kidney and brain I had left. it took them and went away. as I was done. I tried lifting the basket I made and I couldn''t budge. I had 30 kilos of meat and no way to bring it home. I made balls of dirt , about a doyen and a bed of dirt on top I tried to make it clean as I can and spread the hide on it. I spread the meat on top until about ten kilos that I could left and started moving. the ground was on even and I had to stop and readjust , the bed of dirt even broke once and I remade it. the balls would rotate until the plank left and then head to the front to carry the wight again until they where at the back again. it took along time to get home. I was starving cold and had to rest a lot. but I couldn''t figure out a better way to bring everything home.


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    I got home and drank until I burst. then I started taking the meat inside and packing in dirt I had cleaned with water and burned with fire to dry , I hoped that would kill anything it had already. I covered all the meat pieces that I would save in it , and stacked them at the cold side of the room near the entrance. I soaked the dear hide at the end of the stream so that it wouldn''t ruin my drinking and bathing water, it was Effy enough and I had no put or a good shaped rock to boil in , I should add that to the list.


    I started cooking dinner , ribs today and couldn''t help imagine eating bread for once. or potatoes , I miss them ill eat them boiled I don''t care but I want them. I had a plan to make a garden come spring if I could sneak into the city. it would be a multi day trip , but I would get as many vegetables I could plant, and ask for advice on how to grow them. I would get winter clothes and good leather boots.. a better knife , rope .. lot of rope. a pot for boiling water and cooking soup. I cant keep grilling everything.


    I flipped the ribs with a bit of magic. and they sizzled checked the fire and added more wood.


    I would have to be careful, but I don''t think anyone will now me. enough time would have passed, I could get a book maybe if spare the coin , how much are books?


    the first row finished cooking .. probably . I was too hungry to wait so I took one of the heat , tried taking a bite but it was still too hot. so I zipped it across the room cooling it for a few seconds and then took a bite. it was not salted nor seasoned yet tasted heavenly.


    ".... hallo ¡­ is anyone living here ? "


    a voice freaked me out as I was on my second bite. and I froze, I hadn''t heard a voice in almost twenty days the last was .. bullets were already floating near me but I pulled them back to the poach I tied to my waste, all but one, always kept one. I stood up and moved the plank as silently as I could ¡­ the opening on the wall was to small for anyone not of size but you could see through it and there stood a man looking like a hunter. he was about forty years old. had a bow and arrow and everything. shit he probably tracked me down from the lake, but who hunts in winter-


    "there you are ¡­ I saw your tracks and couldn''t help get curios. they didn''t look like anything I''ve seen before . you okey you look a bit ... are you living alone out here ? "


    I don''t know what to do , do I kill him ? he didn''t do anything wrong, would he tell on me ? where does he live that he could reach here just to -


    "hello... "


    right, I should say something, make something up


    "I''m here ... I''m .. okey ... yeah "


    well done , fantastic job .. fuck .. cant lie for shit ... couldn''t come with a story or anything good ... still cant damn


    "look young lady I don''t know what your story is ... but you could come with me and id get you to town, we have a chapel and they would take care of you until you get things sorted no questions asked , my wife was a sister and she know people there. its getting colder and you cant be safe out here I''ve seen wolf tracks today"


    yeah well I saw the wolves , not what I''m afraid of ....


    ah fuck .. lets go for broke


    "look sir ? what do I call you.. "


    "Eric, I''m Eric" he stretched his hand , I ignored it mine had a weapon in it ready to fire if he crossed any line.


    "Eric , I''m .. , yeah , so I''m fine here okey. I have food and wood and a place to sleep , I could use some the vegetables if you have any , a book would be nice but otherwise I''m fine. ¡­. I have a thing really .. so I cant go to towns , yeah ? I would be really happy if you just went about your day, forget you saw me and all. don''t tell anyone if you can help it. you seem nice so just trust me ...please ? I know how to take care of myself"


    Joan , Joan would have a good fake name , why am I so out of it today


    "why not just kill me ?"


    suddenly , Eric was no more. or what he was waring disappeared. he wore a black robe now. just a robe. his gruff face and hair changed and was now smooth and clean. his look screamed mage, if I saw any. he was smiling , and I had no idea why .


    I just let the pebble go. and it bounced off before it even reached him.


    my heart rate spiked even higher and my pouch was empty in a second he jumped pack and dodged but bullets followed homing at him , even though they never did before. I was consumed by fear. I heard nothing saw only him , and all my power was doing was bringing every bullet I made from my room to me. I even destroyed the wall I made to the cave sending everything chasing him. my bullets were getting faster and faster that they started burning mid air , the woods was filled with sounds of running animals from the loud snapping voices my shots made.


    the fucker was still smiling. he dodged and treaded hands behind his back. I started sending three bullets at a time but he just sped up. soon everything ran out. every rock I could carry near me was fired. every bullet I made was shot. I had nothing , and if rock didn''t do it, hastily shaped dirt wouldn''t either, and he could reach me before I did anything. if he wanted to. he was playing with me I realized mid through and I could do nothing..


    plan Z it is ¡­


    I pushed my gate as far as I could enduring the pain, and pushed wider more . all the mana that left my body sank to the ground and spread it would then catch fire , I would burn everything and everyone and by the end I hope id be dead , I hope not to chicken out. I doubt it would kill him , but I hope it does me, I don''t know what they do to noble killers. maybe I should just shoot a pebble through my head and be done with it.


    my gate felt like it was breaking when he spoke right behind me..


    "ah ¡­ I cant let you do that"


    I snapped my eyes open , wha.... I was in the cave again the voice was coming from behind me , and a hand was resting on the top of my head.


    "Sleep"


    I did.

 C01.06 >Sleep<

    <hr><hr>


    Elmond arrived a little later then planned, its been 12 days since the murder and it was rarely talked about now. The Beltends had left except for the Baron himself. he would take the ashes after the body was inspected and burry his son at home. Elmond did not waste time and was in the room an hour after his arrival.


    And he saw a completely different story than everyone had expected. They would have seen it too, but most people don''t look.


    People often assume that he solves crimes using his inherited magic, but the truth is it almost never has a use in this part of the investigation. The room was clean , except the desk and bed. the desk was half organized but still had a tray on top of it , the half eaten fruits were spilled around as if it had been drooped.


    He turned his head and looked at the wall spider cracks covering . a pebble did that.


    Directly opposite is the cracked wall, and the body was in between. its in the morgue now, preserved. Luke ? yeah Luke had his clothes in a corner badly folded and his underpants were near a piss pot that was stinking the room. the preservation spells were cast two days after the murder, which is stupid it should have been the first thing done without moving the body even , but he could handle it. the glass window was still shattered and had no impact site bits had fallen off . nothing else was out of place.


    So someone was at the desk, and that someone was caught and used a pebble of all things to kill .. ah .. Luke who was a step behind. Usually I would guess it was espionage gone wrong, someone posing as staff and was not planning direct murder. the tray means a maid , poison was the first plan maybe but then things went wrong somehow ...


    " right , I need to see the last person that was in this room beside the ...Luke ? whoever cleaned this place or was supposed to and whoever was responsible directly for the maids "


    any minute now they will tell me that whoever it was disappeared, that she , most likely, didn''t show for work. and we would have a discerption , and how they somehow didn''t think it was relevant to share.


    I looked around again, the story was still off.


    The trey should have been cleaned. the murder should have been cleaner. whoever it was panicked and did a terrible job. if it was a professional , and no beginner would be hired for anything in a counts mansion.


    Luke was naked top to bottom. either he didn''t see who was here, if they were that good it means they could have left without fuss and shouldn''t be touching the tray or dropping it, so not a pro , this whole thing Screams amateur .....


    the other option is Luke wanted them to see him naked ..and that told a very different story


    he bent down at the desk he was examining and found a gold coin under it .


    Lura and Ray where staring at his back. as he picked the coin and a light bulb went in his head.


    "Ray , do you do the thing with Friday balls ? you know for the wall mages ..ah th-"


    Raymond ,The count let out a cough .. "yep"


    Lura let out a sigh


    "We do have the same balls , if there are enough of us , so you can stop being Coe "


    the two men looked at each over and shrugged


    "right , so we have a hidden mage working as a maid, didn''t want to go to the wall or whatever , rare but not that interesting. I assume Luke here drank way more that night than he should , took our hidden mage for one of the ... Friday girls and she took his head off. rather extreme reaction , but it is a reaction not planned, but without asking her the circumnutates cant really make a judgement."


    " what''s your take on Luke , He the type to force it ? either of you know him ? his friends didn''t give me anything .."


    I turned to look at them and realized I said to much ...


    Lura eyes had gone cold , shouldn''t have said that , should''ve waited for the trial. That is the look she had before she flayed dever and listened to them scream.


    " ah.. anyway She was a hidden mage so had to run either way , she took his storage ring, his friends confirmed he had one and took off from the window , the guard didn''t see anyone in the hallway and they were pretty quick. she could be anywhere by now. the question is how you two missed a mage in hiding ... and how she got over the wall. you didn''t feel anything ? "


    both shook there head , ray was a terrible mage but an excellent senser.


    "I felt nothing, and Lura checked the inscription on the wall and all Three gates, no signatures. not even registered. I sensed nothing at the murd,, whatever happened time too"


    I could be wrong , or is it like the pebble another odd thing.


    hmm


    right , I have a tracker now all I need now is something of hers that would set it off.


    I tracked her movements , or tried. the bush outside the window had broken sticks but had no blood anymore the gardener had already cleaned it up arranging it somewhat better, we went to her room next, her bed was clean with no hair. Maids run sometimes apparently and the head maid didn''t think it was worth mentioning. she was retired , Lura was pissed. they most likely new head maid , described the girl as quite and intelligent not saying much, beside the fact she''s literate. . her roommates came from the same Chapple and told a story of an airheaded girl , smart but lazy and can be stupid sometime in the most obvious things. at her early days she was thought to be "not right up there" ..


    one of the girls was silent the whole time. and seemed scared and conflicted even more than the rest. none had lied so far , I''m guessing they knew about me , the new head maid was sharp. I didn''t have to say anything. but when people find out , they stay quiet .... I gave her a look she still didn''t say anything , Growing more terrified by the second


    goddamn teenagers ... sigh


    "Speak"


    that was the wrong thing to say because the girl cried and cried hiccupping like she was 8 , balling her eyes out and everyone fell for it , she was becoming this mansion mascot and everyone looked at me like I have committed great Evil. even Lura fell for it.


    she is 13 , Aura help me. it took a while of assurances but then she finally spoke.


    "Anna is a good girl smart too , *sniff* but she doesn''t like anyone to *sniff* know ... she''s really sad , always sad. but it was *sniff* getting better. she gave me a lot of apples and candy back at the Chapple ... she was like my sister you know always made sure I''m fed"


    she took a shuddering breath ... she was good , I''m starting to doubt that it was fake ... ah Empath i looked at Lura and she finally figured it out , it was up to her now.


    ".. I saw her .. that day, she took her things and went out of the window and she looked scared *sniff*, I hadn''t seen her that scared ever , even when she has bad dreams ,but she put her finger on the lips you know like this , so I told no one nothing. she didn''t do anything bad , did she ? ..and she was smart she could take care of herself I thought... she had her mind all made up so ... I''m sorry I didn''t know what to do .. I just .. no one asked me so I didn''t say anything... " the last bit came in a low voice tettering to silence.


    one chapel two mages , both missed at examination , bah that''s ray job not mine.


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    And that was that , I could track a rouge mage / murderer but that was not my job either , we have a description , a name and a definite culprit. and we could wait till she is caught , and she would be , all mages eventually loke for mage supplies like and we catch them. But her magic makes no sense though. wild magic has an almost theme about it. you pick something an element , a concept and there is or was a mage around it. hers doesn''t make a sense. she hides as if she was an assassin type that''s one , she uses pebbles as weapons without damaging them, that alone is too themes invulnerability and kinetic manipulation . ... damn ill do it it shouldn''t take long two days ?


    I finally tracked her movements and found blood on a tree she climbed to go other the wall, and she had to have a self strengthening magic, or.. no she couldn''t have flew or she wouldn''t need to climb.so four so far , did someone train her , and why so many disciplines. its been two day already , took me that long to know which wall she used , she could have walked out of gate and i thought she did , but no climbed a wall.


    I couldn''t help my self even though the blood was old , it had only a weak resonance to it .I wanted to find her myself.


    I flew all other the county and finally tracked her. it took six days but in the end I found her closer than I thought to looked. she hadn''t gone to towns. she was living in an abandoned mine , a town was next to it but in the two days I observed her she didn''t visit , she looked terrible with badly skinned and treated fur protecting her from the cold. yet she had the weirdest magic I''ve seen. a mix of wild and taught magic, as if she was figuring things for her self. she could use water, earth and fire. she had built a nice home . her meat, bear meat I think ? was rotting and she used the water spring for everything depending on the fact that it was a hot stream.


    her living style was incomprehensible. she made things much harder then they should and yet used novel ultimately unnecessary magic to solve the issues. she had the ring but didn''t use .. she never saw one before ? doesn''t know what it is ? she would have been caught sooner , rather than later come spring huntsmen would be out again and her tracks where all other the place. she is lucky there are no strong beasts in this forest , or maybe she can take care of her self. would she get rid of the Huntsmen that , is that her plan ?


    Right enough ... test one , is she a psychopath ?


    I put my hand the minute she stepped out of her room


    "Dream"


    <hr><hr>


    that was a lot harder than I thought. she really didn''t want to get caught. and that flip one minute she was a weird girl in the woods, the minute she knew I was looking for her though...


    she has major issues , but she isn''t a psycho murderer, a huntsmen finding her by mistake is ok , someone looking for her dies. so she follows something , ... now comes the hard part , judgment.


    she lost a lot of mana , and whatever she was doing at the end felt like The Breaking.. and she did on purpose ,never heard of any mage who can do that to themselves. and no one at her age should be at that point.


    a fourteen year old girl almost made me lose all my mana just cancelling her out. I''m losing my touch ...


    he put her down and brought the mana sucking cuffs, normally one would be enough but he wasn''t taking any chances he put all four pares he always carried on her. legs , hands and neck doubling on the hands. he stored all her things in his storage ring and tried the same with her sack, it didn''t budge. he looked inside and found the ring. she really had no idea, she might of made it longer if she got inside the ring and headed to the furthest town. there where plenty clothes , blankets , gold , food and even a tent. standard issue for mages to sweep between walls.


    right he put the ring in his pocket and swept the sack in storage. he picked up the girl and ran to the mansion, it was less than hour away at his max speed.


    The girl ... Anna was already filling the cuffs faster than he thought she could , she is not running out , and he doesn''t know where she pools her magic, one cuff wouldn''t have cut it. but her mana was so thin it disappeared when it was out. I''m guessing that''s how she stayed hidden.


    nothing made sense in this case, she was to knowledgeable and too ignorant at the same time. She built a good home from nothing using only stone, wood and dirt. She hunted, pouching ,that''s another crime to add to the list, badly , but she did know how, even if not well. yet she had no knowledge of storage rings, and made the weirdest mage powered wagon I could think of. she hid in the woods near the mansion not even an hour away when she should have known better. contradiction after contradiction. ah well , ill get my answers soon.


    <hr><hr>


    "she was really that good huh , you look rung out Eric "


    "gee thanks Lura ... but no , nowhere near good actually , she wasted mana like it was nothing, went all out from the beginning , didn''t plan anything didn''t test anything I bet everything she never fought before. she had speed and novel magic going for her though, that''s all. I couldn''t break a single spell I had to cancel everything she threw out while she was under. even though she had no defence. her whole style is infuriating. So complex and she does is so easily, yet she has ignored the basics. you saw what she had on. a mage needs no clothes really yet .. ahhhh"


    "ha-ha she really got to you huh"


    "you try fighting her see how that, goes for you "


    "hey I''m not some two bit brute mage, I''m an inscriptionist"


    "aha and you could kill a dozen brute mages like they were nothing .. I still have nightmares about you."


    "now that''s not a very nice thing to say is it , I''m fragile lady .... yeah ill cut it out don''t look at me like that"


    "did ray talk to the Beltends ?"


    "he is doing that now, you haven''t said anything beside going for a pretrial , you don''t do that often. you usually the one to insist on a full court "


    " and I would have too if this another political thing , but its not and it has sensitive issue''s that would help neither the girl or victim. I really want to hear what she has to say. A confession enforced with magic should only be used in court , except for extenuating circumstances , none apply here. and I would like to keep my job so I''m not pretending she is a witness only. so a full court would bring to many eyes and hurt everyone involved , we may end up going there anyway if we do not reach a consensus "


    "well you can guess my vote already , if nothing changes than you know my vote and no matter what anyone says shell have my protection, if she wasn''t a mage , and he .. all of that under my roof.. I''ve been stupid it shouldn''t have come to this "


    you cant talk to Lura about this , I should ask her to be accused really , but I can already guess how that would go , she is the only women qualified to judge in a nearby distance , without her we are missing a judge ... will see what happens.


    " I think .. look I know how must feel , I don''t know it the way you do ,but we have talked about it before ,just don''t go with a blind eye or you will see what you think it is , just listen and I mean really listen , yeah "


    " I know , and that is why I said if nothing changed... and not saying more "


    soon ray came back he had talked to lord Beltend , he would represent the victim and agreed to a pretrial. it would be held tomorrow with nothing but witness , victims and the accused. Ray, Eric and Lura were to judge. Ray being the main sentencer, Lura to approve or veto the trial. and Eric will be asking and enforcing the Truth.


    Lord Beltend has to accept the sentence so to has the defendant for it to be recognized sentence. If no consensus is reached it will go to Auras main Chapel for summary judgment, either to enforce the sentence or null the trail and arrange another with new judges and it would be open to all.


    <hr><hr>


    When I woke up , I was to groggy to realize what had happened. all I knew was pain , my chest , right at my heart was killing me. I felt like I couldn''t breath even after I took a breath after breath. I was sweating my head was killing me. and I fell down a bed a hard floor. my left hand was cuffed to a wall and all my mana was going through it. I closed my gate and the pain in my chest let out . I could breathe again.


    I just sat there my head empty.


    It took a while for me to notice my situation. it didn''t look good , I remember Eric, I remember the fight and the stupid ending. what was that , how was that magic. I wasn''t wearing my scavenged clothes anymore , I had a white robe on and nothing else. The last I remember is a weird word that had Meaning , like it was pure ... it meant sleep but not just sleep , sleep feels shallow compared to it. I knew I was ignorant but that was out of my expectations, words don''t have power , shouldn''t have power, it should have only been a saying but mana can do anything it likes I guess ... and that word was more no just a word ... even remembering it made want to Sleep. every Name I have for anything felt shallow compared to it it wasnt a name a verb .. it was everything packed into one .


    ......enough deflecting I should get to it , I was caught. Plan Z failed. The end.


    it was a good 19 days though, almost twenty. the ribs are burnt now, why he couldn''t let me finish them , like a last meal. I only got one good bite before he came. Ill curse him with my dying breath for that.


    Damn he was Strong. so strong. his mana was suffocating and dominating as if he ruled that world, everything I did was an open book to him , I was playing in the palm of his hand.


    I can still see his stupid smiling face.


    I should''ve run farther away, if I can reach a place in six hours so can other mages. I didn''t think they would figure me out. I was careless and stupid and .... . why did I think I was safe .. I thought I was gonna befriend wolfy , get weird tattoos and be adopted by mama wolf .... doesn''t matter now , it was a stupid Dream ..


    I have no mana everything rushes to the cuffs before I can ask it to do anything. I''m exhausted, and soon will be dead. if I''m lucky , actually if I''m very very lucky. there area worse things than death .. . please let there be no slave collars in this world , or sex dungeon''s somewhere ... or.. there are a billon things worse than death. do they do torture , all the murders I saw in the town square where just hung. but none there did a Nobel in. will I be burned at the stake like a witch, do they have witches . I almost did that to my self and it wasn''t that bad... I didn''t feel any pain the whole fight.


    I''m spiralling I should just rest, whatever will be will be. it sounded nice coming from her , I''m sullying the song to use it here, I know but I''m done.


    They can do what they want. ill find a way to die as soon as I can .. for now though I should just Sleep


    she passed out mid step to the bed.


    <hr><hr>

 C01.07 >Prison is just a room<

    The Trial was to be held a dusk. she was surprised when a guard told her that. Trial , these people pretended to be civilized. why not just execute her. or do , whatever it is they want to do. This just made her hope that it might be fair after all. that tis world wasn''t medieval.


    then images of hanged men and women , dismembered thieves, lashed drunks ran through her mind and remembered.


    She promised , this time no more Hope. She knows.


    So , she ate , gruel and potatoes plus two pieces of jerky. before she would have hated this food, after her stint  in the wild though , it was delicious.


    she would have liked her ribs , but this was good. she wanted to to the bathroom , but didn''t want the guard to take her. she didn''t want to commit another murder ,the first was trouble enough.


    she wated doing nothing, she stretched sometimes. stared at the wall , ate the food that was given and ignored the urge to ask for a bathroom.


    luckily a female guard came and took her , without her having to say anything. she didn''t know there were female guards. she didn''t think they cared about what happened to her , she started doubting herself again, hoping , but she crushed it all with every bit of will,


    never again we said. never Hope. Today was as expected sunny. it was winter but the sun shown through. i the twenty days she was alone , the sun never showed . it even snowed a little as high up as she was. yet now it was sunny. typical she thought.


    An hour before dusk she was taken to another room , she walked the hallways freezing wearing nothing but the robes , not even sandals. she still couldn''t use mana. she had manacles now, that sucked everything. they were covered in tiny writing , none of it made sense . she just learned that magic was wider then she thought. soon enough she reached the room , it was in the noble side of the building , a while a way from the dungeons and in it was a small table covered in white cloth , same as her robe , she sat at one of the only two chairs at the lady guards order, she recognized that she was  in what she had called zombie mood. but her recognize in it was a good sigh , its been a while since she was this foggy but she could handle it. she was still cold though she brought the chair closer to fireplace and wated for whatever this is.


    Soon the door opened and he showed up , Eric or whatever his name is. next to him stood a man wearing fancy noble clothes and lady in blue dress. lady guard bowed and then left without saying anything.


    what is this ? ...


    "Anna right ? ... do you know why your here ? "


    she just shook her head.


    " right , this is your pretrial counselling concerning your rights and privileges as an accused, I will read you your charges , tell you what to expect and that would be all, you can ask questions and ill answer to best of my knowledge , you many  answer anything asked but only if you wish ,  you are not required by law to do so. this will not be under enforced Truth , basically it is so you know what to expect. its not mandatory and you can wave the right. it simply is Law to offer it. do you understand ?"


    I nodded slowly trying to digest it , I had rights ? there is  Law , medieval means that the "Lord" did whatever the fuck he wants , right , that commoners are sentenced by the dozen. what this about Law , this whole affair sounds like something from johns world, not here. also enforced Truth ?


    my stomach churned , this was not what I was expecting, I thought papa Nobel was going to be mad , and how dare I say no to his son/bastard then get lynched, never mind that I killed him .... since when do I have rights .... i caught myself


    here it comes again


    HOPE


    NO


    "any questions ? you seem like you have a- "


    bitterness leaked into my , voice .. and I interrupted him  ... Fuck this guy .. acting like this is shit everyone knows


    " Since when do we have rights ?! Last time I checked  you hang anyone you call murders , you whip  a women that ''broke her vows'' yet men always do whatever the fuck they want  , you cut hands off from people hungry enough to steal, while you throw parties that can feed a town every night , I''m a women , no , not even   I''m just  a Girl .. and you want to tell me I have fucking rights ... what are my rights Eric ? since when ? this is  a barbaric land last time I checked ... with corpses rotting on ropes and now suddenly we have rights and your acting like everyone knows ? "


    They looked shocked , like guard lady even opened the door , my voice was loud enough to be heard outside, They didnt know what i was saying .. they heard me I think but not really listened ...


    the lady with blue dress, Lura I soon  learned her name , took a crystal out thin air , setting it in the middle of room.


    Eric seemed to take a moment to gather his thoughts.


    "You always had rights, everyone has and that is imperial law. As a mage you have a special designation, I want to hear more about the  previous issues you mentioned . but this is concerning your trial so we will focus on that for now , to answer you question , A mage can not be convicted of anything anywhere beside Auras main temple, The law is final on that. the pretrial we are about to have can only happen with your consent. your status as a unregistered mage , strips you of some advantages , you are 14 and so a year away from majority ,not yet classified as rogue. That is you main right , the second that every crime has an equal punishment as serving on the wall, mages can chose if the crime is minor , but for major crimes the wall is your prison"


    he paused a little giving me time to calm down ...


    " you have the right to a fair pretrial , with three judge''s , a registered Qualified mage must be one, that is Emoulura , A representative of the Aura temple that is me , and A noble of the land where your Crime was committed that is Raymond. if you find the trial unfair, you can ask for it to be redone in the temple. and they will decide on it , after reading our judgment they may disregard your request or Set a new trial , the Victim or there representative has an equal  right"


    He took a breath.


    while I thought through, I gave up , hope is in the air now ... I don''t know if there lying. I don''t know if he is telling the truth. but its clear he is.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.its nothing like the worst case ive imagined.


    when did I start taking the worst case as the only possible reality. when did I ? .. I know I''m doing it again , I know that''s what leads to disappointment , but i ... I''m hoping , and I cant crush it. not this time ... there was order in his words , and Law ...


    those thing brought a defining amount of hope and I couldn''t crush it


    " any questions so far ?"


    books. I should have ignored my work and read every book in that library. then I would have known ...


    "can I ask anything ? not about the trial .. I need to know somethings "


    he looked back at the two behind him and they silently came to an agreement.


    "ask anything , I will try to answer .. but keep in mind we have limited time .. "


    I asked about everything I assumed , everything I could think off. no mages aren''t just to the wall to slave forever. they are trained , paid , and have a limited service time and vacations . Nobles had a heavier burden whatever that meant.  no one got off lightly, you can pay money instead, but only if you have no other choice. it sounded ... Fair. nowhere near perfect , but it was an attempt at Fair .. its not a dog eat smaller dog world ...


    Fair ...


    Rape was still Rape. Women were treated well , but they are caged in there roles as housewives mostly. it sounded not good, but not as terrible as I had thought, divorce, alimony and everything ... it was rare but a women could do it . . Vows where not a Marriage  only thing , they could mean any vow made at a temple, and those who broke it had to confess themselves. and took the punishment willingly to repent , at least according to him. he didn''t look like he was lying.... it was weird but cultural or whatever, if you get off on that ,sure you do you  , he assured me  it wasn''t like that but he seemed way in to it ..


    we talked and talked, and I opened up more and more , the world wasn''t so bleak anymore . The trial was forgotten . he asked about my magic, I asked about his. he found mine weird , I thought his was weirder. who says words and makes it happen. mine makes sense , its magic , yes but it has a sort of logic. his is just... I don''t know what it is. You say something and it happens , and those words are heavy somehow weird..  I can still hear the word , I can almost resist it now. but not if I spoke it out loud .... after a while we ran out things to say. the hour was obviously up. and my tears , they been running down on and off slowly this whole time and I have no idea why. I felt lighter.


    I''m still in trouble , but nothing inhumane is likely ... they didn''t act like monsters , they didn''t seem like slavers. he was appalled when I mentioned  fuckdols and I what thought nobles were like that , Raymond didn''t like that. Lura , she insisted I call her that, didn''t seem as offended  , she was a commoner before she became a mage and rose to her station. technically she is Ranked higher than her husband, but she didn''t want Land. she changed the subject fast .. she acted nice but stiff...she happily let me know that technically I am a noble , Knight , the minute I register I''m awarded this and land if I want. a village to call my own, or just empty land.


    " corruption exist ,obviously  but not that many. we are not as Horrible as you seem to  see us, if you were a  normal maid, and managed to call for help or ran away, the situation would have been handled. Nobel or not Rape is Rape and we take it seriously. the punishment is ten years on the 4 wall, mage or not "


    He keeps looking at me like I''m the weird one .. like this is common knowledge. and so rare it never happens , but i could tell it does , Lura never said anything against ..


    I would have had rights. he said .. I must look crazy to him , I probably am , who laughs while crying ...


    " does every one know ? because I didn''t . I wasn''t even sure I could say no when I was Taken by that old lady , I wouldn''t have come here if I could help it. I wasn''t sure I could say no to marriage either , I thought if some solider or anyone really showed up , donated enough than that was my husband , they pick we just follow , no one taught us we could say no. it was always do what your told. be dutiful wife''s, nothing about choice.. its obvious to you , I know , not us.. chapel girls and boys were told to do as told , the rebels are bad , the ones who question are bad and Gia wants us to be good , there good nothing else . obvious , nothing was ever obvious in my life ..."


    I should have come clean. I should have told anyone I''m a mage ... they didn''t seem surprised so I''m not that special. ive built it all in my head I think.  but I didn''t know , I just didn''t know... There was a chance , just a chance things could go bad, but there was a chance it would go good too , somewhere , somewhen in my terrified state I forgot ... and just hid.


    I let out the long breath I was holding.


    " do you think if where as bad as i said , anyone in this mansion what have told you no. if you went outside right now pulled a maid into a room and had your way with her , what could she do ? would she do it ? shed lose her job, her life , if she wasn''t killed, you being the big powerful Nobel , all she is ,is orphan turned maid. she has no one , nothing , and doesn''t know the law. I can tell you know you look at me with petty , like I made a terrible mistake because I''m ignorant , truth is I''m lucky "


    "any other maid wouldn''t have had a choice, she would have stayed quite , cleaned his dick , as he said . and cried herself to sleep at night, none the wiser "


    "now me I''m a mage, so I could stop him. I didn''t do what he wanted. I''m not .. defeated. I wonder how many of your maids cry themselves to sleep Lord Raymond. how many ran Away because they couldn''t take it anymore or worse just looked for an easier death. if I wasn''t a mage I doubt any of this would have happened .. I would have ... or dead. you none the wiser. "


    a long silence hung ...


    I steeled myself and finally asked.


    " what are my charges ? and what is enforced truth ? what is the punishment if I was convicted... what is the worst thing that could happen .. not death I know that''s a possibility  but I mean worst than tha-"


    he cut me off before I could mention all the horrible things , ive guessed. he has been slowly demolishing every expectations ive had. And I wanted more. I''m about to be tried for murder and ive never felt freer , I have rights. Shit happens , but there is Law


    I kept Giggling every Time I thought of that. rights


    ive gone cooko .. ah


    " ... From minor to major, you have been charged with following, Poaching two counts, Theft , Absending and Murder/Manslaughter to be determined"


    Poaching  when I heard I lost it a little ...


    " you could have let me finish eating the ribs "


    I was barley listening


    "The Poaching  charge was Dismissed , on account of the owner , the theft also, on account of Murder charge. The matter of Absending can be solved with a simple registration as you are still a minor, I have a form hear that you merely need to sign .... "


    I signed the paper with Mana , that was new, they took my cuffs off for that too. I didn''t do anything, I have rights ... I''m crazy but I have rights.


    "As to your question The punishment for murder is death or life at the wall for a mage of third rank or higher and it is sorted by case, you are a minor and considering the circumstances you will most likely not be sentenced to death  , but that is to be decided later, .... nothing worse than death by hanging awaits you .  for manslaughter it is 10 to 30 years of service. shortened by wall Rank to the usual Method ..."


    I wasn''t listening any more ,  giggles and supressed laughter rang in the room ...


    " The trial will be held tomorrow at dusk , we missed our time today.. and you need ..... rest "


    I need a doctor , call me a doctor  ~


    I kept giggling all the way to the cell. outright laughing when I saw the maids, I told them we had rights. they looked at me like I was


    crazy ,


    which I am I guess.


    but still, we had rights !! I''m a mage so special rights .


    I couldn''t sleep , I laughed and laughed all night talking at the guard all about my right


    oh I could have done a billion thing better , I lost time I know , wasted my childhood


    boohoo


    I have rights , im young, ill do my time and live on the wall if I have to. Because I have Rights , I can say no ... and I have magic to blast anyone who disagrees. Truth spells to force reveal everything in court , no wonder people smile , there free....they should smile.


    I was living in prison and im free too


    I didn''t even notice but they left me without sucky mana cuffs too .


    wheeeee , im free ...


    Eric showed when I wouldn''t stop laughing  , his my new favourite person now.


    " Sleep, miss Anna . Sleep "


    " hehehe , that wont work on me no more , but sure ill Sleep "


    I fell asleep as he stumbled a bit ... huh I got him a little too.


    Free

 C01.08 > Minute <

    <hr><hr>


    " ..... Before the Builder , humanity was seen as the weakest race. We were Hunted and pitted in equal measures. We had no Country of our own. no nation or identity, in all other continents it remains so to this day. The builder changed things , He built half the most known city''s in the world, and when he braved Enclida for the first time to make our Empire, the other races repaid there favours. With there help , the Devers were pushed to the Continents neck in the fauxstrait and the walls were built to separate us. as of writing this book , it has been more than five hundred years and seldom do they reach us on the first wall. Humanity has since gained its independents from the other races, no longer are we only used for menial labour. On Enclida we formed our own government, system, and culture. Here we protect ourselves and are no longer dependent of any race. Here we learned our own magic not on par with elves yet , our own martial arts, not on par with the tribes yet , we craft weapons and armour, nothing like dwarves yet . but only we, do it all together and only we managed to do it so well. In five hundred years we have become a power on our own , no longer the youngest race to be pitied and protected....."


    Exert from the Emperor speech on 500 anniversary of the Empires Founding


    <hr><hr>


    I felt saner the next day. If you countify Sanity. I asked for Law books and was obliged. I zipped through them , reading everything I can cementing everything I was told. I am Mage , I am a minor. And I have rights. Commoners have rights , I just didn''t know. did not ask either. why didn''t I ask.


    I could regret everything I''ve done. Blame it all on poor education and mope around more cursing my luck. but I just didn''t feel like it.


    The asshole I killed , It was self defence from my view, a little excessive and he deserved it in my book. but from what I can tell , it doesn''t work like that. If I wasn''t a mage and I killed a Nobel who was trying to rape me using a weapon , any weapon while I was overpowered, it might be considered manslaughter in the worst case.


    A mage was held to higher standard. We had power and so were expected to deescalate situations. Ignorance is not a valid defence , I didn''t know, but that wont help me. A mage that was in my situation was expected to nonlethally detain, then report. with truth magic everything was easy to confirm. death is only an option , if you were in immediate danger. which I wasn''t. I didn''t know that. he towered over me. I was scared , he was a Nobel. but I wasn''t in mortal Danger , I was mage , he was not , I think.


    I wanted to rebel at that conclusion. logically I understood. but every other part at me was screaming in defiance...


    It was far from fair , but again it was an attempt. I was conflicted. the punishment for Rape seemed to light. all Rapist should just die , so what if I killed one. The Law says ten years on the wall ..


    From everything im looking at , it was a Second degree murder, not planned , but executed in the heat of the moment. punishment for that is thirty years to life on the wall , reduced by rank whatever that means. I should get a book on the wall.


    I have avoided looking back at that day. I didn''t want to think about it. I could still see his smug face. how he backed away at the last moment . I didn''t want to play the what if game. No .. just move on .


    A death sentence for mages is only for first degree Murders ,with no reasonable chance of repentance.


    So life on the wall is the most likely outcome .


    I have an hour to the trial. I guess should prepare. I went to the bathroom. looking at everything between the hallways. the building seemed more modern to me with every step I took. I had thought I was in the equivalent of Viking age civilisation. but now it seems more in lee with 1600 England. Why didn''t I notice.... no even if I did , would I have trusted it ? for all I knew back then I would assume it was made by slaves or something ... I cleaned up. washed my hair ,and combed it for the first time since who knows long.


    I looked a lot better , felt better. I had lost a lot of wait in the 20 days ive been gone. I thought I ate enough but who knows. my hair didn''t smell anymore. and all the blistered I had accumulated hurt less. I stood by the small window, smelling the fresh air and ignoring the cold. I stopped tightening my gate unconsciously sometime during my stay. everything felt better. no crushing wait hanging over my head .....


    so I just breathed until


    it was time.


    <hr><hr>


    In a room , opposite side of the Castel sat three Friends, Drinking.


    They were not having a good day.


    " you find anything with the inspectors "


    "Nothing Lura, the chapel is clean. the matron is old. the priest older. but haven''t found anything to suggest any abuse. the town Mayor is clean. somewhat nothing too out of line. the town is more active than most and is always teaming with travellers so crime is higher there than most towns. none were hungry or homeless that I could see , and they certainly didn''t cut the hands of innocent thieves. repeat offenders only. And no one from the town it self. I left them there , to ask around more .... "


    " than where did she get all that from , why was she so ... she is 14 , ray . 14 what in the hell happened , what about her parents ? you find anything there "


    " a little . the father was a drunk maybe ten years back , he turned around somewhere since. the priest knew and helped. and the mother didn''t want anything to change. they suspect domestic abuse, but not now, not anymore . there keeping an eye out. but nothing so far. "


    " and the reason she was in a chapel ?"


    " she was not right in the head apparently , they where having hard times , and no one could look after her. After she was placed there, her father woke up , got things together . he is making good money now. donates a silver a week even. that''s way above the average. here you can read her history "


    " she started speaking at seven ? "


    " that''s not even the weird part , full sentences right away and then suddenly she swapped to gibberish. she learned to read and write soon after.... She was terrifying as child. gave me shivers just hearing it. you would turn around for a second , and then bam behind you stands a little girl , silently staring at you with dead eyes. otherwise she would just stare at a wall , if you gave her nothing to do ... "


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    He couldn''t help but shudder


    " what about you find anything in the manor ? you said you would look in too it. "


    " The last head maid was shit. The new one has been taking care of everything for a long time. I asked her blank out and she tried giving me the run around. when it didn''t take, she assured me you were faithful."


    They laughed at that . before Lura sighed .


    " The girl was right though . our own staff don''t feel safe here, specially in winter. she didn''t think I was asking about her , she thought I was worried you did something and was looking for one of the maids. we fucked up .. honestly , and that''s putting it lightly "


    Her eyes had turned cold.


    under her own Roof.


    " it took a while but I made it clear what I was looking for. every made new . everyone even the new ones. she usually waited a bit before telling them what to expect ... apparently there was a system. if a Nobel touched you and paid a golden coin you spread your legs and not make trouble. some girls liked it, they wanted the money. some tolerated it. The rest left. it has been a thing for generations , part of being a maid."


    In my own house.


    "It started with Friday balls is my guess , a maid is maid if you can fuck one why not the other, right ?."


    " That''s another issue , No more Friday balls , or no more maids at Friday balls we dress them different. make it obvious there paid, and are whores. fuck scandals and etiquette, no more being Coe. you will ask them to make it clear there not maids, and the maids don''t do there work. "


    Ray gulped and nodded.


    Lura sighed and carried on.


    " I made it clear, or tried to, that from now on, no girl does anything she dose not want. she nodded me along , and I could tell she was just humouring me. what could I do , I kept hearing the girl voice in my head , what could a maid do to stop it anyway. "


    " so im making warning crystals for every maid that wants it. a double tap and the guards will be there. it will take me forever to right a script in every hallway and that many crystals will cost me a fortune , but fuck it , that is all I can do ... under my own fucking house. "


    The common women''s champions they called her ,a decade later this shit happens in her own house , what a fucking joke. she forget what its like to be powerless. what it was to be a commoner , ignorant with no way to learn.


    " so yeah that''s what ill do every day for a while. I cant think of anything else ... "


    Everyone was silent for a while , just drinking, Lura started smoking again , and no one would call her on it.


    Eric who didn''t say anything this whole time finally spoke .


    " no one teaches chapel girls to say no .."


    " what ? "


    " the girl, Anna , she said that right ? no one told her she can say no. so that''s what we do , we teach everyone they can say no ... it seems common sense to me , why do anything you don''t like ? yet she didn''t know she had rights but if its this bad here and you are the most Fair of all the nobles I know , what about everywhere else. "


    He let there imagination run for a bit ..


    " so we teach them to say no. we send an Judgment trainee maybe , make it part of the course to go Visit chapels, we start with the chapels near us as a study. then teach them there rights , important bits of the law. That should help at least. "


    Lura nodded.


    " If cost is an issue we will pay for it. ill tell Agatha to make a list of questions and maybe u can start here give a lecture to the staff. "


    ray interrupted


    " taxes will pay for everything, and ill kick it up higher. The minsters and emperor may sponsor the whole thing , or even the temple."


    they all knew it wasn''t perfect. and there world view cracked a bit. but that''s all they could do. it was evening , and none of them felt ready for the trial yet


    it was time.


    <hr><hr>


    the Trial was a lot less involved than I thought it would be. it took place in a room with a long table. The three judges on one side. And a man on the head of the table, me on the other.


    He was the father. He kept looking at me with a face I could not read...


    I killed his son. it hit me all of a sudden. in my mind he was always the rapist , the noble , the asshole. they all meant the same thing to me , Trash.


    But he was a son.


    NO , I wont doubt myself. he deserved it, I didn''t do ....


    It doesn''t matter , his dead , im alive.


    The Trial started with a Guard after He swear the to the truth, and Eric Enforced it with *Truth .


    I heard it , and I could not lie, I tried saying the sky was orange in a low voice. I couldn''t manage the last part. Eric made sure that we knew only the subjective Truth was told, he explained , none can tell a lie knowingly.


    The guard captain explained what happened , how he heard a loud voice , he searched the rooms and where the body was found. How a storage ring was not present and that the room was empty. he described everything. Answered every question and then left, after eric confirmed that no one else had more questions to ask.


    I hadn''t any witness for my self, The father didn''t either so we moved on , to my questioning.


    I answered my Name. My age. How long I worked here. and then we got to real Questions.


    Where you there the day of the death


    yes


    Did you use this pebble and magic to kill the Victim known as Luke, ... I didn''t know his name. after a thought I answered that I killed a someone who I presume is Luke with a pebble using magic.


    Was it premediated ?


    NO


    Was I engaging in anything illegal during that time ?


    To the best of my knowledge , NO .


    That ran a couple of questions about each crime I could have committed, spying, poisoning , theft , NO .


    I forgot I was hiding my mage status at he time , and I answered no. so truth spells can fail , I learned. if I didn''t think It was a lie than it didn''t count as a lie.


    Did you believe you where in danger of being harmed ?


    Yes


    Did you Believe you had a reason to fear for your life ?


    Yes


    Describe what happened to the best of your ability.


    I did.


    everything. me knocking. waking him up. the fear I felt. me wanting to leave. Him suddenly and silently showing up behind me. his thing poking me, his hands touching me. what he said The pebble leaving my hand and him moving back a little too late.


    Even under a truth spell , I had to repeat everything multiple times.


    Eric than described everything , Form witness reports. what Luke did the night before , The coin ..


    I learned that he was a mage too. Second Rank.


    I learned that he maybe thought I took a coin and was somehow willing , . he was still drunk , sleepy.


    It was like describing someone else, Not who I saw. to everyone else he was a young boy who just got back from the wall for the first time...


    Not the Man who towered over me , dick out hands touching, looking smug ...


    The worst thing is that during it all. The father just stared right at me.


    By the end of it, I was rung. I doubted everything replaying it in my mind , was it even a minute ? the whole thing was less than a minute. I woke him , up , he poked me , I shot him. so so short.


    hindsight is twenty-twenty. and the law judges that way. if it could have been better than it should have been and its my fault that it was not.


    How was I to know that I was stronger than him. how was I to know ...


    The Law didn''t care.


    If it was just the law ,it would be fine. ill go to the wall, I don''t mind really ...


    So Why am I feeling guilty. he was the asshole that poked me with his dick out of nowhere, and im .. Fuck


    .... it doesn''t matter anymore.


    It wasn''t even judged as self defence. I wasn''t in any definite danger. Luke Beltend ... That was his name , was a second rank mage.


    Im a third in The lowest estimate. Rank five if I completed training.


    Second degree murder. 30 years on the third wall. I got 30 because of the circumstances , and I have to talk to a priest.


    I felt like they thought they went easy on me , the father too. maybe the did. ... Im not sure of anything anymore.


    The only sound he maid during the whole day was when he called me a Stupid little girl , and in low voice said stupid boy. He was crying I think. not in tears, nothing showed , just looking at him and I saw that.


    He let a long breath out , signed and left.


    I killed his son, and he was taking pity on me...


    Fuck ....


    <hr><hr>

 C01.09 > Memory <

    I was ready for my life on the wall. I had nothing to pack, ive read every book on every topic I could get my hands on, and was fantasizing about my life. For the first three days I imagined that I would be shipped any minute.


    A week past and still nothing. I had nothing to do, I couldn''t use mana the guards didn''t like it when I did. All I could do was eat , shit , stretch ? read ... Bored . I am so bored. what are they waiting for, ill go there my self , give me a map and ill take care of the rest.


    Bureaucracy doesn''t work like that. First they had to send the decision to the Aura temple in the capital, that''s at least a weak ride away, they have to review it and that takes time, then they send a decision back. Im still a minor and have six months to majority so I cant go to the wall before then, and I cant be kept in a normal dungeon, so im still here. Im going stir crazy.


    Eric is no longer in the mansion, shame I thought we could become friends. Raymond and Lady whatever haven''t visited. all my info came from a Clerk that had to send everything to the temple. And who the guard bugged ,when I in turn bugged them.


    The same clerk handed me a Iron card with my name and the mage guild association Sigel carved on it. This was my mage card , it even registered my mana. it had other functions but the main one it served was identity. The clerk didn''t elaborate and waved my questions off , the asshole.


    Its been Two weeks , and I was getting clusterphobic. they finally let me out in a courtyard were I can run and breath more. I had to wear a bracelet and I could see more of those squiggly lines that had something to with magic.


    After a while I was allowed to move, I could not take the bracelet off , couldn''t leave this court yard or the wing I was stationed at but I had more room to breathe , and a room of my own.


    ive never had a room just for me. I mean technically the cell in the dungeon was just for me but this felt different. I took a bath , preparing my own water no need to call any one , a bit more than a month ago and i would have been one the people to call. I was given new clothes, and served food to my own room. Nobel people food, with fruits even though its winter , cream and freshly baked bread. I devoured it all, im still growing and i cant afford to waste anything . I eat the full serving I was given. always. they might treat me like a Nobel but I would never leave food uneaten , even if the staff usually finished what the guests left. I couldn''t do that.


    And just like that , Two more weeks went by . People were leaving everyday. I was alone on one the third floor east wings, so i saw less people already , but now I couldn''t find a soul unless I walked for a while. No maids came by, noonw except me and the occasional guard. I would spend my days reading , or practising a bit of magic , floating all I can. I was very familiar with library by now and except for the occasional useful book, I found most to be stupid poems that make no sense or better yet a dry history book about the empire. and what happened.


    i read a few books that where helpful though. I learned that there five races , well four and dragons. dragons were the first and oldest race. they were also the least in quantity. elves came after , the masters of forest, they lived long lives compared to the rest , not including the immortal dragon''s, and were also comparably few. The built the villages in forests and lived with nature. They breathed magic and where the first inscriptionsits. that''s the squiggly lines I saw a few times. dwarves came after and lived in or on top of mountains. The smelted metals and crafted golems to do there bidding. Demons are the last before us, derogatory called beastmen, they had great physique and a child could crush an adult human. then the last came us. and boy were we a downgrade. compared to the rest we had nothing going for us , we had a weaker version of every race specialty but otherwise nada. sometimes a Named would spawn among us. a great mage that would change the course of our civilization but otherwise we were weaker. for the longest time we lived with other races depending on them. our short lives, and fragile body''s couldn''t keep up. and we had no safe place to call home , until we concurred half of what was then the new continent . propaganda at its finest , who know how it was , but every book on the subject is very proud.


    I also learned the the Wall is a misnomer and there actually Five walls. the first stands alone and is manned by new mages and soldiers. the second and third are close to each other creating a kill zone between. the fourth and fifth like wise. the wall are set as more of a funnel instead of an actual divider. the design seemed complicated and more work than necessary, but hey if you can grow a building out of thin air , why not ?


    Finally I was handed off on a sunny day to a company of soldiers heading to the wall. I was there I would be sent to a training camp for the remaining duration of my final year of childhood. the trip two weeks , the soldiers never really manged to figure out how to treat me. On one hand I was a mage, on the other a convicted felon. They must of not fought much of me. I was not guarded by anyone , I had a wagon to ride with other mages instead on foot like the rest. I didn''t need to cook, set a tent or wash a dich. I nearly ran away just to kill the boredom. I missed the days were I would just zone out. at the end I finally manged to find something to occupy my mind . mainly the squiggly things on my card. I tried understanding how they work and after days of experiments , I got nothing. pushing mana on to them did nothing. writing the same squiggly lines on anything else and pushing mana did nothing. I experimented a lot and then just gave up. Instead I tried to figure out how my own magic worked.


    So far all I did to use mage was sort ask my mana to do something, and it did. that''s it. the request has to be precise , or more importantly the less precise the more mana it used. the instructions on how to achieve the effect I want in relation to physics has to be known by me. That part depended on johns amateur knowledge on physics. they were also given in a sequence. so far ive always done this mostly subconsciously . Editing the physics of the world as easily as breathing. my favourite trick of throwing pebbles was simply imparting the kinetic force of a bullet to the object I wanted to fire. somewhere along the way i added any force of resistance on the object to its acceleration. and all of that was done in my half addled brain.


    I kept trying many things , until the captain asked me stop. They didn''t appreciate the sounds of explosions I was making every day we stopped. I reluctantly agreed and kept to the most taming experiments. ... I still couldn''t fly, I could float by cancelling gravity a bit and then push my self this or that direction, but I couldn''t fly.


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    its start and if I get good enough at it one day I would stop looking like im stuck mid-air.


    On the last day of the journey as we reached our destination I couldn''t keep my mouth shut. it hung open , mine and every over soldier that was new, the veterans looked at us and snickered as we watched the looming 100 meter wall get bigger and bigger as we got closer. Ive seen skyscrapers in my memory I shouldn''t be stunned but it was an entirely new experience no matter what I remembered. the wall was Huge, and it full with holes for archers and mages id guess. as we lined up to cross the gate at the bottom, I realized it was also wide, enough to house an army camp inside. I was walking by this point until we reached the stables , the company that was with us vanished midway through , and all that was left was the three mages that were with me and the captain.


    we headed to a room, we head to wait outside until we were let in. Inside was an old man with mean eyes , wearing the same chitin black amor the soldiers wore, yet his looked more dignified, he had white shall covering his nick and his desk was filled with papers.


    The captain handed the Major papers that he was carrying after saluting .They spoke and the captain left. The Major addressed us directly after leaving us staring at him writing for a while , the room almost Silent if not for the sounds of writing.


    " I am Major Dublenshaft i am the head of mage liaison office for the first wall army encampment, it is my honour to congratulate gentlemen and lady''s , as of this moment you have been drafted into the army "


    "While your are in the army you will have the Rank knight , that is the mage equivalent of a solider, not a lieutenant, not a captain nothing more than a soldier. and soldiers gentlemen do what there told "


    " you do not pick were you are assigned , we pick for you , you wake up when we tell you , you eat when we tell you and you stand were we tell you . I don''t care who your father is , who your mother knows or who will hear about this. you do as your told and you do not complain , Im. I . clear.  ?"


    at there nods he asked


    " I did not hear an answer when I ask a question I expect an answer followed by sir now im I a clear ?"


    ""Yes , sir ""


    " Good ... , Mark "


    a solider opened the door at his call


    " take our new knights to the Armory to get supplied and then to there rooms "


    I moved with others to follow mark but major serous stopped me.


    " Not you Knight Anna "


    after everyone left he carried on


    "knight Anna and as unbecoming of that title you may as well be, you are still a knight , and a minor and a convict. "


    "To top it all up your recommended Rank is a third rank mage , to say your case is complicated is an understatement. I will explain everything to you as I see it. You will be treated as a normal knight while you are here, the anklet you wear will not restrict your movement anywhere between the first and last wall. You are free to move outside duty hours as you please. Keep in mind however that any crime committed will bear the maximum punishment after being stripped of your rank. you had one second chance and you have received it no more will be handed out "


    "you will spend 30 years here on top of the ten your draft service requires. That is forty years if you do not advance you rank enough to stand on the third, fourth or fifth wall. should you stand on the third wall your time will be halved, on the fourth halved again , you need only spend five years on the fifth wall to end your service. if you mange to live that is . "


    "as you are a minor you will spend the next five months in training here in camp with your fellow new mages. You will not be paid during this duration. ask the treasurer for more details. any questions ? "


    "... do you have a library ? .... eh sir "


    "Gai save me from moody teenagers ..... where do you think we are Knight Anna ? This is not the academy , this is a fort , so no we do not have a library ... Max .. take miss Anna to the quartermaster and then find her a dorm "


    all I asked was if there was a library didn''t have to go off on me ...


    I followed max, a different max which I thought was weird down again across and then up again, this place was like an ants nest and all the while max spoke


    " .. rule of thumb is anything with administration is on the right, dorms on the left. and canteen on the top or very bottom. you will find wash room near to your dorms I would recommend its the first thing you memorise. Wall facing devers is painted white, the other has strips every so often. you will get used. if you get lost carry on until you find someone who can help you .. here we are the Armory ill wait outside... and its Richard , max quit last week and it takes three of us to cover for him now ... "


    " Thanks "


    I headed inside and was face to face with a tired looking clerk behind a desk.


    " Name and Rank "


    hello to you too , im ok and you


    " Anna and ah third rank I think .. here I have a card "


    he looked at me ...


    "keep you card we don''t have the fancy equipment of mage guild miss Anna ... what is you last name ? .. "


    "ah I don''t have one ? I don''t think I do im an orphan "


    he sighed


    " orphans have last names to miss Anna let me see the card ... here we go Caldas , I take it that''s the town were you grow up , that''s how it goes usually. I see you are a new so knight. pay attention to the terms we use , Mage rank is used only the association, Military Rank is for the army they are completely different things , and we are in the army "


    ok I officially hate this guy, I gave him my card , he dismissed it ,im obviously new but he asks for a rank anyway. fucking weird fuck.. flipping through his weird book.


    " *sigh* here you are, you have been issued standard mage gear and standard solider gear and you have things left hear that were taken at the time of your arrest. You have five months until your first payment. as convict you will receive two tenths of you salary only. please sign hear after checking that everything on the list was received. "


    I read the list then stared at the ring and then backup at the clerk ..


    "push mana in to it Knight Anna and you will see everything that is in there "


    I did and was surprised to know what was there. not like an image I just knew what was in the ring and could call it out. it took very little mana to summon the pillow case I had stuffed with everything when I ran away, I checked inside and found the coins but no ring.


    I guess they gave it to the father .... I didn''t know what I had when I took it off ...him.


    I took my time checked everything and I signed , I left and followed Maxs replacement number 2 in a daze until I reached the dorm he knocked and I went inside. it had two bunkbeds and one looked used but no one was in the room. max left and I just took out the blankets made my bed and dove in. I was tired .. not physically but the day was draining and ive been travelling for a couple of weeks. I wanted the day to end and my mind to stop remembering. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep , letting the cold pillow I took from my new storage ring cool my head.

 C01.10 > Green <

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    I was the youngest person in the Base. They woke us up every day at dawn, made us run for hours while chanting some song before we even ate. we trained with spears and wore Armor made of dever chitin. all day every day , I started doubting if this  was a mage camp. shouldn''t we shoot fireballs in a line at a row of targets ? why are we running around for ? I kept remembering PE. He hated those lessons , I do to now.


    The training fields were actually burrowed in to the mountain. the were behind our dorms. and I wondered why not just make everything in the mountains. if you call square shaped mountains,  mountains.


    They drove us mad, almost 12 hours of training every bloody day. If it wasn''t for mana supporting our body''s making us run faster, longer and carry heaver weight, we would have died from exhaustion. and that was the whole point. once every one of us could use mana to supplement there body the training abruptly stopped. There were 11 in this camp, some people were already there when I got here , others joined midway. All in all it took a Whole month.


    Next it was more spear practise, lectures on where to stab a dever. what to expect on the wall during a watch, ive never seen so many sketches of dever in my life. The ones in books looked scary. these were technical and to the point. it was hammered in us to always aim for the spine , and not the head. because the thing that looks like there head is not actually the head.


    I thought it was simple you know, I would stand on a wall , wait till one showed up and then shoot. Nothing was  simple. people don''t stand on the wall at all , mostly. there where these fox holes were mages sat to throw there magic at incoming dever, before they climbed or if they were already climbing . Otherwise you mostly stabbed if you don''t have range.


    There were traps and pit holes between walls built and it was one of our jobs to be escorts for those who clean and reset them during waves.


    The first wall was the last defence, The other walls were built more as a trap to herd dever to a kill zone were there body could be later picked up and harvested. everything was efficient and done a million times over , the instructor looked bored.


    He didn''t mention for what, leaving us to guess for Armor, we are all wearing it, but im guessing food too. Fertilizer ? a body is good for many things.


    The camp lasted three months at the end of it our numbers swelled to twenty. From there they were all sent to there assignments in groups. and I was left alone. my roommate thank the Gai left with them. she was a chatter. forcing socialization down the throats of unsuspecting introverts.


    I thought I might do the camp again , at least until I could be sent, but that wasn''t it. a mage came with the rank knight Captain , his name was Nils. And he was assigned by command, whatever that meant. I mean who has ever met Command ?!


    we stared training together. he wanted me to show him my magic and I did. I floated things , shot them at the other side of the courtyard, burned some oxygen , floated some water. He asked question after question and then


    " shoot me "


    "... you want me to shoot you ? "


    " I need to test your penetration, against a kinetic mage I wouldn''t worry , Do you know how to use mana to defend yourself .. right no that comes later , just shoot me , I doubt you can hurt me I just want to check. "


    oh ok  piece shit take that , I shot him ,I aimed for the thighs just in case. and waited for the pebble to bonce off , like with Eric you know.


    surprise , it didn''t , it went straight through after stopping for a second on his Armor, maybe before that.


    he dropped and cursed and I just stared at him. he started tying his leg. I was still staring..


    ".....  would you go get a healer instead of staring ,knight Anna"


    Right , I should do that I went inside , got lost , came back to ask where the healer was, got shouted at and then finally found the healer.


    The next day we went at again, no live shooting this time but direct confrontation .


    The result was that I am a glass canon. I can kill anything I shoot , if the bullets mana is not contested directly and at those speeds its hard for anyone to do that. but otherwise I had the perfect attack. The issue was that all took is one hit and im out. I cant dodge for shit, even with mana enhancing me. I tried using my own magic on my body. I threw up a couple of times. I had no defence, and no manoeuvrability.


    So that''s what I did for the last two months, I practised my ''flying'' , I hated every minute of it it was like being a rag flopped around, until I realized that acceleration was the issue , I shouldn''t go from 0 to a hundred and I shouldn''t accelerate forever. I kept experimenting until I manged something that gave me good manoeuvrability, but more importantly control.


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    My defence issue wasn''t as easy to solve, I had no stepping stone  . Nils ...aah.. the knight captain was a kinetic mage. His active defence was redirection, passively he made his aura harder to penetrate with hostile magic. The Armor took care of anything mundane.


    I had no aura and could not make one. my mana cant be anything else. you cant turn mana Thick , or change to be water or fire. it didn''t make sense ,even if that''s what other people did. I couldn''t do it. I learned how to spread my mana and let it tell me if anything got close to me. but it wasn''t defence but more like surveillance. My armorer could stop a  normal hit from killing me if I was lucky , but I would be rung inside.


    so I practised evasion. all day every day with my flight. I learned to ignore air resistance and protect my self like im a bullet, redirecting any resistance, that made me faster and was a valid step for me to form a defence . by the end of training I could ignore small hits, but anything big was harder, that''s how I broke my arm... I thought I was invincible. but I ran out of mana  and couldn''t take a hit. everything takes mana , my gate spews it out, but I have no where to store it. I wither need to expand my gate more , or make something like a battery I could use. for now I went with the first option.


    on the last week, Nils took me to the smith. to see if we could make my bullets out of metal. I didn''t think the material mattered anymore until the mana was used completely, but he insisted.


    The smiths didn''t like the work. it was easy and simple work but took time and effort when they were already busy. even if an apprentice could do it. they were a measurable bunch. and I couldn''t blame them. working fire inside a mountain was like being in a closed oven. they had windows to air out and vents but it didn''t help much. beside , administration were next door. Poor smiths ...


    So I made a press. I asked them to melt a lot of metal and I used my magic to left it , compress it to a  squared meter  that had at least a hundred holes shaped in different shapes for bullets. I made another that would press it down. I explained the rest of equipment . The giant screw so no one has to jump up on down  on the metal and together we made a metal press.


    they even modified the design to let extra molten metal out so they wouldn''t have to be too precise. it was done, and they could make me a thousand bullets a day ... and they loved my invention . I wasn''t ready for it to be this popular  , it was so loved they gave me 10 thousand bullets at the end of the week . before I left  my design was passed around and modified , for swords , arrow heads, spear heads , chitin Armor you name it. Everything is pressed now , it made everything faster.  I got a larger storage ring out of it I think. they said it was for the bullet''s , but I already hand one..  and now I had one in each hand. The smiths loved me. Army command was praising me. and it was a huger deal than I thought. I just wanted bullets. But johns memory came in handy for once .


    Good for them ... i guess ...


    Finally my prep was over. my training done. and I was going to the fifth wall. or technically in the mountain to the side of it. That''s my assignment . i got everything in storage. said fuck you to my roommate I mean goodbye, I meant to say goodbye but it slipped out.. But social people are good , she didn''t hear me apparently.


    I was ready to go.


    and that''s when I got introduced to the tunnels. I took them all the way to fifth wall Or fifth army base camp. got settled.. got a room just for me this time thank Gai .. next day it was my shift


    <hr>


    Death


    So much death , and blood.  weird green blood... screams .. Gai the screams. why do monsters scream.... The are monsters , couldn''t they die quietly .. suffer in silence or something ..


    Its inhuman. no one who hears it will think anything but that. but it also sounds like there in pain. .... I felt sorry for the bastards.


    There not easy to feel sorry for trust me , one look at them and you know there just wrong. they are basically four legged giant cockroaches, each one taller than me if the fuckers could stand yet there legs were more like hands than legs, couldn''t even get that right ...  they screamed though . there were so many of them.... my bullets almost ran out before ten minutes was up ... I had to start recalling them... I didn''t even know I could do that. My beautiful shaped bullets are deformed now, basically just junk metal .


    I thought I would be fighting a dever, you now. long battles them trying to hit me. me dodging away and throwing shit at them until finally they die.


    Its not going like that.


    they just die ...


    one shot rips through, like they are made of newspapers,  at least five of them .. maybe more and it only comes back when the mana is almost out.


    I am in the mountain on the side , I had a hidey-hole and everything , rarely does a dever sneak to within meters of me. my job was to shoot and shoot. but the wave just never ends.


    There are people standing on the fourth and fifth wall, they killed as many and let the rest pass through. we killed all we could  in the deserted patch in between. but it just never ended. its night , dever body acts as fire fuel , and that''s how we see them .. the die easily , burn easily .. there easy to slaughter. they just never fucking end ...


    I had to have killed thousands of the fuckers , yet they never stopped coming. freakily moving on there hand-legs. speeding through ignoring all the shit being thrown at them, ice ,lightening , fire ... so much fire. and the fuckers walked through it all. on top the bodies that piled up not giving a shit .... my shift was an hour ago ? they were  coming then too. my shift started two hours ago. I need a break but the wave never stops. its so fucking loud , all the damn time..


    why do they come here ? what are they looking for ? where do  they come from. I never asked this before, everyone took at as a given. Devers come and we kill them .... but just ten minutes of screaming and you would wonder too. How come we never tried to find out ? are we sure there monsters ..


    I can handle it all. I can. but the screams.... I finally figured what they are,  dying screams. once or twice is fine , ive hunted I can handle that ... but that many... fuck... its just slaughter


    buy the end of my four hour shift , I was exhausted , nauseated and hated everything and everyone. all io could think was this was wrong !! which is stupid, the fuckers would eat me alive if they could .... im a mess, this just a mess.


    I scrubbed and scrubbed , cleaned my green covered bullets . and went to my room. my dark window free , suffocating room...


    This is my life now and I hate it.


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