《Haven (Apocalypsis #4)》 Page 1 Chapter One SEEING THE HUGE GROUP OF stragglers coming into Haven was so overwhelming, I was grateful that Bodo carried me out and sat me down off to the side. I needed a few minutes to gather my wits and wrap my head around the idea that I was now responsible for five times as many people as I had been before. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have felt so pressured. We were all responsible for ourselves, really. But I knew they were looking to me for direction. I had to accept the fact that for at least the next few weeks, I was going to be in charge here - the mayor of Haven, kind of. Hopefully we¡¯d get some form of government put in place soon that didn¡¯t involve me being a dictator or a chiefesse as Fohi liked to call it. ¡°Are you ready to go back out dare now?¡± Bodo asked, searching my eyes, probably worried I¡¯d finally gone completely over the edge. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m ready. Bring it on.¡± I stood, leaning on Bodo a little, not quite ready to be without his strength. Peter stepped into the small alcove where Bodo and I had been resting. ¡°Hey, Bryn. How are you feeling?¡± He rubbed my arm and searched my face like Bodo had. ¡°I¡¯m good. Don¡¯t worry about me. I just needed a little breather, that¡¯s all. Let¡¯s do this.¡± All those people were out there waiting, and I didn¡¯t want them wondering what the heck was going on with me. All I needed was a group of people doubting my ability to hold it together when we were just in the beginning stages of a massive reconstruction of our lives. They had to know they could count on me to hold it together, even when the doo was hitting the fan. Each minute that ticked by, I had more and more respect for the Amazon chicks that we¡¯d met back by the coast. They were already at least ten steps ahead of where we were in this abandoned prison surrounded by barbed wire and fences. ¡°What do you want to do first?¡± asked Peter. I sighed heavily. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Talk to everyone? Start making plans for moving those corpses out of the fridge? Hand out new clothes? Set up showers? Plant a garden?¡± The sheer immensity of our task was already blowing my mind. Peter snapped his fingers in my face in a zig zag pattern. ¡°No. No. No. No. You are not going down to crazytown right now. Baby steps, and I only need step one right now. Give me step eighty-five tomorrow.¡± I had to smile. ¡°Am I really that bad?¡± ¡°Yes, you really are. Stop acting like this is all on you, okay? You have me and Bodo and everyone else out there ready to not just lend a hand but to decide what needs to be done.¡± Bodo frowned. ¡°You are talkingk about dat ruling by committee stuff, und I can tell you dat it doesn¡¯t work very good. It will be taking too much time to make any decisions.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not talking about ruling by committee. I think for now Bryn should be the ultimate decision-maker.¡± ¡°I agree,¡± I said, ¡°but within a couple weeks, I want to have a more formal arrangement that doesn¡¯t have me at the helm. At least not alone.¡± ¡°You have to be da one,¡± said Bodo, pushing gently on my shoulder to angle me towards him. ¡°Efreyone dat came here did it to be with you. They are counting on you. Dat¡¯s a lot of pressure, but like Peter said. We are helping.¡± Even this was too much to figure out right now. ¡°Whatever. What should I do now, helpers? Because I feel like putting a list of everything we need to do on the wall and then throwing a dart at it.¡± ¡°Do we have darts?¡± asked Peter. I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. ¡°I smell. I¡¯m cranky. And I will come over there and smother you with love if I have to.¡± Peter held up a hand in surrender. ¡°Say no more. I live to do your bidding. Just please, no love smothering.¡± ¡°If you want to know what I think, I will say we shouldt move dose bodies out really fast. Maybe dey have diseases or da virus, and we don¡¯t want dat to be a problem here with all dese peoples.¡± Peter nodded. ¡°He¡¯s right. And maybe a couple kids from the new group will be able to help us move the bodies out, too.¡± ¡°I doubt that,¡± I said, moving to leave the alcove. ¡°Did you see them? They¡¯re barely alive, some of them.¡± We came around the corner, and I almost bumped into Ronald. ¡°Oh, hey, Bryn. You okay? I was just coming back to see what I could do to help.¡± He flashed me his pearly whites. I was so jealous of that smile. My teeth felt totally furry right now. I put my hands on his upper arms and turned him around. ¡°Perfect. We were just looking for body baggers. Thanks for volunteering.¡± ¡°Oh. Boy. Aren¡¯t I glad I decided to come visit?¡± ¡°Yes, you are,¡± said Peter. ¡°Follow me.¡± He walked off in a hurry to position himself at the end of the lobby near the door that led to the hallway we would follow to the kitchen. ¡°Can I have everyone¡¯s attention?¡± His girly voice bounced around the large space. The talking stopped almost instantly, heads swiveling first towards him, then at me, and then back to him again. ¡°Thank you. We have a huge amount of work that needs to be done in the next few weeks or months, and we need your help. Everyone who is able-bodied will be expected to participate.¡± He gave the room a stern look. ¡°The first order of business is getting rid of the bodies that we found in the refrigeration unit.¡± ¡°What bodies are they?¡± asked a girl out in the crowd. She looked scared, glancing sideways at a couple of her friends. ¡°Adults who were brought here to die. From before. It¡¯s not pretty. In fact, it¡¯s pretty disgusting, but it has to be done. So please raise your hand if you feel like you have the strength to do some lifting and pushing and possibly digging.¡± Everyone from our original group raised a hand except Jenny who was sleeping on a blanket on the floor. Her color was much better than it had been, but she was still too weak to do anything. The first settler who¡¯d arrived, Derek, raised his hand and looked over at me, nodding once. I nodded back to let him know I appreciated his efforts. I could already tell he was going to take his oath of fealty to our community very seriously. Several other hands in his group went up, but even from where I was standing I could see it was just wishful thinking on their parts. Their arms were trembling and their faces going white with the effort of holding them up. I walked through the crowd and stood next to Peter. Everyone whispered as we discussed the situation privately. ¡°You cool with me taking over and leaving you out here to do other stuff?¡± I asked. ¡°Do poodles doodle in the woods?¡± I laughed. ¡°You just said doodle.¡± ¡°I know. Slap me, would you? I¡¯ve lost my mind.¡± I grinned. Peter was definitely feeling chipper now that we¡¯d found what felt like it could be a real home for all of us. I looked out at the kids and spoke louder. ¡°We¡¯ll do this in shifts. First shift is eight people.¡± I surveyed the room. ¡°Ronald, Jamal, Bodo, Derek, you ¡­ sorry I don¡¯t know your name, Gretchen, Winky, and me. We¡¯ll start. The rest of you get some food, get some rest, and after a few hours we¡¯ll come back to get a second shift going.¡± I turned my back to everyone and nudged Peter so he¡¯d join me. ¡°Yes, my queen?¡± he asked. ¡°Say that one more time and I¡¯ll eye gouge you.¡± ¡°Stop flirting with me. What do you want?¡± ¡°I just wanted to say that most of those people out there are going to volunteer, but they aren¡¯t ready to do any manual labor yet.¡± ¡°I noticed that.¡± Peter folded his arms. ¡°So while I¡¯m gone, why don¡¯t you do a little evaluation of everyone and see what they¡¯re good at. I¡¯m putting you in charge of city management.¡± I looked up in time to see a little sparkle come to Peter¡¯s eye. ¡°City management?¡± ¡°Yeah. Can you hack it?¡± ¡°Pfft. You¡¯ve obviously forgotten who you¡¯re dealing with.¡± I reached over to hug him across the shoulders with one arm. ¡°Not for a second.¡± I bent down to mess with the laces on my moccasin. ¡°We need crews for medical care, gardening, cleaning, building and engineering, animal care ¡­¡± I frowned, pulling my laces tight. ¡°What am I forgetting?¡± ¡°Uhhh, soldiers?¡± I jerked my gaze in his direction. ¡°Say what now?¡± Peter sighed heavily. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re going to put your head in the sand and pretend like we don¡¯t have a major problem with the canners still. Barbed wire isn¡¯t going to do crap if they¡¯re determined enough. I¡¯m still worried they¡¯re going to roll through here in tanks one day.¡± I stood again. ¡°I know, I know. Jesus, tanks? I just ¡­ never mind. You¡¯re right. But we don¡¯t need just one group of people for that. We need everyone in on that part of it.¡± ¡°Everyone?¡± ¡°Yes. Everyone. Every single person in this place, no matter how weak or small, needs to be a part of our militia or whatever you call it.¡± ¡°Why? I mean, I¡¯m not questioning you, I just want to know what you¡¯re thinking.¡± ¡°A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. We are a chain, and I don¡¯t want to bite the big one because some dipshit on the laundry team can¡¯t hold a gun.¡± ¡°Uhhh, okay, Yoda. I¡¯ll get on that.¡± ¡°Why Yoda?¡± Peter studied me for a few seconds. ¡°I think it¡¯s the hair.¡± And then he walked away, clapping his hands to get everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°Okay, listen up, people ¡­¡± I didn¡¯t hear anymore. My body disposal group members had made their way over and looked like they were ready to go, so we all left the room, headed down the many hallways that would take us to the kitchen where the mass of corpses waited. Ronald led the way to the kitchen. It seemed only fitting, since he was the one who¡¯d discovered the bodies and unleashed their horrible stink on our new compound. Halfway there he stopped, turning to face the rest of us. ¡°I was wondering ¡­ shouldn¡¯t we have some special gloves and clothes on when we do this? And get those bags?¡± My face burned with embarrassment. I totally should have thought of this myself. ¡°Yes, of course we should. Sorry. I¡¯m spacing out, I guess.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± said Jamal. ¡°You have a lot on your mind, and we¡¯re all tired. I remember where we saw a bunch of that kind of stuff in the other section. Want me to go get it?¡± I nodded. ¡°Do you need help?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take Gretchen.¡± ¡°Yeah, no problem. I can carry stuff,¡± she agreed. ¡°You guys go ahead. We¡¯ll grab someone from the lobby if we need another set of hands.¡± ¡°Go for it,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ll keep going and meet you in the kitchen.¡± Jamal waved over his head as he took off jogging in the opposite direction, Gretchen beside him. ¡°How big is this fridge, anyway?¡± asked the guy who came with Derek. ¡°Huge,¡± said Ronald. ¡°Like the size of a work trailer.¡± Winky interrupted whatever Ronald was going to say next, addressing herself to the guy who came with Derek. ¡°What¡¯s your name, by the way?¡± ¡°Flick. That¡¯s what they call me, anyway. My real name is James.¡± I held my laughter in. All I could think about was how he must have gotten that nickname. I prayed if it was for booger-flicking that he¡¯d given up the habit. ¡°Flick?¡± Bodo was at the back of the group. ¡°Dat¡¯s a strangch name. What does dat mean?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a nickname. It doesn¡¯t mean anything,¡± said Flick. Page 2 ¡°It means this,¡± said Winky, reaching over and flicking my arm. I frowned at her and rubbed the spot that was now stinging. I was going to let her get away with it since soon I¡¯d be getting my revenge in the kitchen. Winky hadn¡¯t seen the inside of that fridge yet. ¡°No, not that kind of flick,¡± said Derek. ¡°It means he used to be in the flicks, but he¡¯s not anymore obviously.¡± A ghost of a smile moved across his lips. ¡°What is da flicks?¡± Bodo moved to stand nearer to Derek. I looked at Flick, studying his face closer. ¡°The movies. Flicks are the movies. You were famous?¡± ¡°I hardly ever watched ¡®em,¡± said Winky, shrugging. She obviously wasn¡¯t impressed. Flick shrugged, not saying anything. His hair was like a rat¡¯s nest it had so many knots in it, and his face so dirty it was hard to see the guy beneath, but he had brilliant blue eyes and now that Derek mentioned it, I could see something there; like he was familiar or something. And possibly very cute underneath all the grime and stink. ¡°Wait a minute ¡­,¡± said Ronald, pointing at Flick¡¯s face, ¡°¡­I know you! You¡¯re that kid! That kid!¡± He started snapping his fingers and looking up at the ceiling. ¡°Come on, come on ¡­ dang my memory is full of holes these days.¡± Flick sighed heavily. ¡°Any chance we could just let this drop?¡± ¡°Nope, hmm-umm,¡± said Ronald. He looked back at Flick. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll figure this out. Unless you want to cut to the chase and enlighten us.¡± ¡°No, thanks.¡± Ronald grinned. ¡°Challenge accepted.¡± He looked at Derek. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me. I¡¯ll remember eventually.¡± ¡°Whatever you say, man. It¡¯s Flick¡¯s secret, not mine. If he wants to tell you that¡¯s his thing.¡± Derek reminded me of a totally zen surfer or something. He was tall and probably blonde. It was hard to tell these days what was dirt and what was brown hair. He was the leader of the kids who¡¯d just arrived and someone I wanted to consider as a possible more official leader of Haven. I planned to watch him closely over the next few days or weeks to see if he was up to the task. I knew we¡¯d eventually take a vote, since I wasn¡¯t cool with being a chiefesse or dictator, but still ¡­ it was worth knowing what we¡¯d be getting ourselves into. A revolution or revolt was one of those things-to-be-avoided-at-all-costs as far as I was concerned. Haven needed solid leadership. ¡°Come on. We still need to get some other things that are down this way,¡± said Ronald, walking again. ¡°Like what?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°We need carts to roll the bodies on. I think there are some in the kitchen, but there could be some supply closets nearby with other things we¡¯ll need.¡± ¡°Like bleach,¡± Winky suggested. ¡°Yeah. Like bleach,¡± agreed Ronald. ¡°Although we¡¯re probably going to need another crew for that. After we lift all those bodies we¡¯re going to be too tired to do much cleaning.¡± ¡°And too disgusted probably,¡± I mumbled. I wasn¡¯t looking forward to this task at all. I knew it had to be done, but that didn¡¯t make it any easier to deal with. We spent about twenty minutes exploring the kitchen without opening the fridge. We found four large rolling carts that would be big enough to put bodies on, lots of rubber work gloves, and plenty of cleaning products. Jamal came in with Gretchen, both of them loaded down with coveralls, masks, gloves, and boots. ¡°Sweet,¡± said Flick. ¡°Total hazmat setup.¡± ¡°We tried to guess everyone¡¯s sizes,¡± said Jamal. ¡°Gretchen or I can go back and get new stuff if it doesn¡¯t fit.¡± ¡°Here,¡± she said, handing me a suit. ¡°This was the smallest they had in there. Same with the boots.¡± She dropped a pair of black rubber boots at my feet that looked like they belonged to a guy as big as my father. I stepped into the suit and zipped it up. The material wasn¡¯t plastic, but it felt like it would repel moisture; it was heavy canvas with some sort of shiny coating on the outside. The leg parts and sleeves were about six inches too long. Gretchen immediately stepped over and helped me roll them up. She already had her own outfit on, and it fit a lot better than mine did; probably because she was about four inches taller. I put my rubber boots on right over my regular shoes because they were so big, but the guys all took off their regular stuff and put the boots on either over bare feet or nasty, dirty socks. ¡°I think we¡¯d better get a laundry team put together asap,¡± said Gretchen, looking at the brown socks being shoved into boots. ¡°I think we just need to have a giant fire pit where we can burn all of them,¡± I said. ¡°You said it.¡± She looked around. ¡°Need anything else?¡± ¡°No. You can finish getting your stuff on.¡± I positioned my mask over the top of my head. ¡°What was Peter doing out there?¡± ¡°Triage. Trying to figure out all the injuries we have to deal with and who¡¯s qualified to help work on that stuff.¡± ¡°How¡¯s Fohi?¡± I asked, sliding my mask over my face. It was the chemical warfare type with filter canisters on the sides. ¡°He¡¯s in bad shape. We need to deal with him first. I think he¡¯s the worst of everyone.¡± ¡°Maybe I should go back,¡± said Winky. ¡°I have all the medical stuff in my backpack.¡± Gretchen looked over at her. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. They have a kid in their group who does medical stuff. Doctor Billy they call him. His mom was a nurse and his dad was a doctor. He¡¯s good. I talked to him when he first got here. They already have your stuff set up.¡± ¡°Nice try,¡± I said to Winky. She stuck her tongue out at me before pulling her mask down over her face. Her hood came up next, and she stood still while Gretchen secured it under her chin. The outfit was as oversized on her as mine was on me. ¡°This thing is frigging hot,¡± said Winky. Her voice was muffled by the mask but still understandable. ¡°And not in the good-hot kind of way. It¡¯s hot in the I-have-sweat-running-down-my-ass-crack way.¡± All we could see were her eyes, and they didn¡¯t look happy. Gretchen stepped over to secure my hood for me. ¡°Consider it a beauty treatment. Pretend you¡¯re at a spa in the sauna, sweating all the toxins out of your body.¡± She walked away from me when she was done, pulling her own mask on and fixing her hood. Winky went over and helped her with the last bit of it. ¡°Sauna my butt. Here, let me help you cinch this up really tight so you can enjoy your own personal sauna too.¡± A few seconds later Gretchen¡¯s muffled voice came from behind her mask. ¡°Wow. These things don¡¯t breathe at all, do they?¡± The sweat was already trickling down my back, and I knew I needed to distract myself quickly or I was going to start freaking out about suffocating or something. It was going to take a gallon of water to rehydrate myself when we were done. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s go,¡± I said. ¡°Open the door.¡± Ronald stepped over and pulled on the big metal handle of the refrigerator. I inhaled sharply as the interior was revealed, hoping the gas mask would do its job. I breathed out a sigh of relief when all I could smell was the odor of plastic coming from the inside of my mask. We gathered around the opening of the fridge and stared at the carnage inside. Bodies - or what used to be bodies but were now just piles of mostly dry muck, bones, and clothes - were stacked on top of each other from floor to shoulder-height. Maybe the caretakers had tried to do it respectfully at first, but at some point they must have just been tossing people in. There was a small space just inside the door that was kind of clear of skeletons, except for a single body that was lying on its side, curled up like it was sleeping. Not much of it was left but bones and old goo and the clothes the person had been wearing. It was impossible to tell if it had been a man or woman, but I was guessing it was a woman by its small size. ¡°Jesus save me,¡± said Jamal, standing next to me, staring at the person who must have been the last one in. She¡¯d closed the door behind herself and laid down to die, all while surrounded by dead bodies. ¡°Dat¡¯s disgusting,¡± said Bodo. ¡°Look, dat head is just dare with no body on it.¡± I refused to look where he was pointing. ¡°Let¡¯s just get them in bags as best we can and then onto the carts. Work in teams of two,¡± I said. ¡°One girl, one guy.¡± I paired up with Bodo, Gretchen went with Jamal, and Winky was with Derek. Flick looked at Ronald. ¡°We¡¯re out of chicks.¡± ¡°Yeah, but we¡¯re not out of Flicks,¡± said Ronald, giggling behind his mask. ¡°You can work with me, Chick Flick.¡± ¡°Dude, that was lame,¡± said Flick. I could tell he was smiling though, because his eyes were crinkled up in the corners. Jamal and Gretchen grabbed a stack of black rubber bags they¡¯d found in the supply closet and dumped them on the floor just inside the door. ¡°Put the bodies in here if you can,¡± said Jamal. ¡°They¡¯re not big enough to fit an entire person in, but I don¡¯t think we¡¯re going to have to worry about that.¡± I stared at the mess in front of me with extreme distaste. I knew what he meant; they were so decomposed they were probably just going to fall apart when we touched them. My stomach rolled uncomfortably. ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s get this done,¡± said Derek, walking up to the body in the middle of the floor. He bent down to lift her by the upper body and the funkified gelatinous mess that used to be her torso sludged out on the floor and over his boots. This sealed fridge had apparently been the perfect storm for awfulness. It had accelerated the decomposition with its heat but had kept everything from drying out completely. Without any fresh air getting in or bad air getting out, what should have been totally old bones, dried up and without any goo ¡­ were just not. Total ew. He stood up quickly and twisted his upper body around to face us. I could see his complexion under the mask, and it was a lot whiter than it had been thirty seconds earlier. ¡°Uh ¡­¡± He swallowed loud enough that I could hear it. ¡°That¡¯s not ¡­ uh ¡­ gonna work.¡± ¡°Be right back,¡± said Gretchen. We all stood pretty much frozen in place until she returned about a minute later. ¡°I found this in one of the pantries over there.¡± She held up a shovel. ¡°Why would they have a shovel in a kitchen?¡± I asked. ¡°I think it was used to make big batches of stuff. It was in a huge garbage can thing full of sugar.¡± She thrust it out at Jamal. ¡°Here you go partner. Have at it.¡± Jamal just stared at the handle. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I can ¡­ I don¡¯t know if I ¡­¡± He ran out of the entrance to the fridge and across the room, where he whipped off his mask and bent over a trash can to vomit. As soon as he was done he threw the mask back over his face. The smell had to be unbelievable. I sighed. ¡°Well, I guess we can cross Jamal off the shoveling bodies crew.¡± Derek reached out and took it. ¡°I¡¯ll do it. Someone hold the bag open for me.¡± Winky stepped up with a bag and tried to hold it open. She was struggling, so I moved over to help. Between the two of us, we were able to make it ready so Derek could put the shoveled gore inside. ¡°Well, dis is an ugly business, but soon it will be done. Come on,¡± said Bodo, gesturing to Gretchen. He grabbed a black bag and walked over to a short stack of bodies. After setting the bag down on the ground he reached up and wrestled the top body off. Gretchen jumped to the side as it fell into a messy pile at his feet. Bodo looked down. ¡°I don¡¯t pray very often, but today I am gonna pray for every one of dese poor peoples in here. Dis is a bad way to be dead. Dis is a problem for me.¡± He pulled the bag over and worked with Gretchen to get it around the person¡¯s upper body. Page 3 When they were done, the legs were still outside the bag. The only way they were going to fit inside would be if they were bent up in weird ways or taken off, and none of us were prepared to do that. I stood up straight, abandoning my bag-holding duties. Derek was already breathing heavily from the shoveling and dumping, and we hadn¡¯t even finished one body clean-up. ¡°This isn¡¯t going to work,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s too much. We don¡¯t have the right tools.¡± I put my hands on my hips. ¡°What the hell are we going to do?¡± ¡°We could just light the whole thing on fire,¡± said Flick. He was standing in the entrance, looking inside. Bodo stood and stepped away from his task. ¡°Yes. Let¡¯s make a fire. It is faster and better for da environment.¡± ¡°Except for the whole breathing bone-smoke into our lungs part,¡± said Gretchen, sarcasm lacing her words. ¡°It¡¯s not a bad idea, really,¡± said Ronald. I looked at him like he¡¯d left a critical piece of his common sense in the lobby. ¡°Dude. We can¡¯t set fire to our home.¡± ¡°We can set fire to this fridge unit, though. I mean, it¡¯s metal all around. It¡¯s totally insulated. We¡¯ll never use it as a fridge again, and we have fire extinguishers to keep it from getting out of hand.¡± He pointed to several spots on the wall where the red canisters were mounted. I really wanted to know what Peter thought about this idea. I didn¡¯t feel confident noodling through all the ramifications on my own. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± asked Winky. ¡°What are you thinking?¡± ¡°I¡¯m thinking I want to know what Peter thinks.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t need Peter, just ask us. We¡¯ll vote.¡± Everyone stepped out of the fridge and gathered by the door, Jamal too once he¡¯d re-donned his hood. We stood in a circle. ¡°Okay, so we need to vote. I don¡¯t feel comfortable making this decision without you guys weighing in. We can torch this whole thing and burn everything inside if you want, but the problems I see are that there are no windows in this room and there¡¯s going to be a lot of smoke. Plus, the fire could get out of control and then we¡¯d burn our whole house down.¡± ¡°Talk about screwed,¡± said Winky. ¡°Exactly,¡± I said, searching the others¡¯ faces. ¡°Anyone else have any input?¡± Derek was looking up on the ceiling. ¡°There are exhaust vents in here. Smoke rises. Maybe we could open them up a little more and get the smoke to go in those?¡± ¡°How do we do that?¡± I asked. ¡°I have no idea,¡± he said. ¡°How about this ¡­,¡± said Gretchen, ¡°¡­ we start the fire and see what happens. If it gets out of hand, we put it out. We¡¯ll stand here in our masks, which should help against the smoke, and be ready with the extinguishers.¡± I looked around and no one seemed to be shooting the idea down. It wasn¡¯t ideal, but I couldn¡¯t think of anything better. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s take a vote. Fire or no fire. Yes? Raise your hand.¡± All of the hands in the circle went up. ¡°Okay, fine. Fire it is. We need to each have at least two extinguishers. And someone needs to tell the group out front what we¡¯re doing, so they don¡¯t panic when they see or smell the smoke.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll do that,¡± said Jamal, disappearing out of the room in a flash. He seemed very anxious to put some distance between himself and the fridge, and I didn¡¯t blame him one bit. ¡°We¡¯ll go find some extinguishers. Come on, Flick.¡± Ronald left the room at a fast walk, Flick right behind him. ¡°We need something that¡¯ll catch fire,¡± I said, looking around the kitchen. I was no chemistry major, so I had no idea what that might be. ¡°An accelerant,¡± said Derek. ¡°Several of the chemicals we found could do the trick, but I¡¯m afraid if we combined them there¡¯d be a poisonous gas created that could really cause more harm than good.¡± ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s avoid the poison gas thing,¡± I said wryly. Jesus. That¡¯s all I need ¡­ to be known as the girl who created the first gas chamber in the new world. ¡°What about this?¡± asked Gretchen, holding up a jug of something. ¡°What is it?¡± I asked, walking over to check it out. ¡°Well, it says acetone on the label.¡± ¡°What¡¯s acetone?¡± I asked. ¡°Isn¡¯t that like nail polish remover? Why would they have a big jug of that around here?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a solvent,¡± said Derek. ¡°My dad had a garage. We used it to clean up the grease. Heavy duty stuff.¡± ¡°Will it burn?¡± Gretchen asked. ¡°I guess so. We could try a little spot on the floor and see what happens,¡± he suggested. I nodded. ¡°Good plan. Let¡¯s get whatever we can find and do a few test-burns. Then we¡¯ll use the best one and keep the rest for ¡­ whatever. Cleaning.¡± ¡°Or burning more bodies,¡± said Winky. ¡°This can¡¯t be all of them, can it?¡± ¡°Why not?¡± I asked. I really didn¡¯t want to hear the answer to that question, but I listened anyway. ¡°I don¡¯t know. How many do you think there are? That can¡¯t be all the prisoners and the other people who were brought here.¡± Bodo stepped away for a minute or two while we marinated in that bit of awfulness in silence. When he came back, he said, ¡°I cannot count exactly, but dare iss probably a hundred bodies in dare. Dat¡¯s a lot, but I think dis prison had more dan dat.¡± ¡°Maybe they shipped a lot of them out when there were still facilities for that,¡± I offered. It was a lot of wishful thinking on my part. ¡°Let¡¯s hope so,¡± said Winky. ¡°But just in case, make sure you don¡¯t use all that acetone in one shot. We might need more of it.¡± ¡°There has to be more here,¡± said Gretchen, looking around. ¡°I¡¯ll bet there¡¯s a closet full of it somewhere in this place.¡± ¡°Remind me to put inventory control and supply discovery on Peter¡¯s list of things to do,¡± I said. There was so much crap to get done here. Until now, I hadn¡¯t fully appreciated the sheer amount of work it was going to take to get this place up and running. Even what should have been a fairly straightforward job was turning into a nightmare that could get really out of hand in a hurry. And we had kids who were going to be showing up any day asking for shelter and almost no food to feed them. This is an impossible task. Bodo came over and put his arm around me, tapping his mask against mine in a weird kind of hazmat kiss. ¡°You are making the funny faces with your eyess again. It¡¯s gonna be okay. All of dis ¡­ it¡¯s not a problem. We make da decisions and we do da work. Like a team. Like a family.¡± I nodded. ¡°I know. You¡¯re right.¡± Thank goodness I had Bodo with me. He made things seem not as hopeless. Even a little comfort meant a lot these days. Jamal came back into the room. ¡°We¡¯re all set. They¡¯re ready for some smoke out front. They moved the sickest kids outside temporarily, til we tell them it¡¯s all clear.¡± ¡°Okay then,¡± I said with a sigh. ¡°Let¡¯s light some test fires.¡± I looked over at Flick. ¡°Bring me that fire extinguisher, would you?¡± We stood in a circle, everyone but Flick with an extinguisher in hand. I squeezed the trigger a little, hoping I¡¯d have the strength to fully compress it if necessary. I didn¡¯t want to waste any test-squirts, so I was running on faith that it would work. Flick poured a capful of the liquid on the concrete ground in the middle of our circle. ¡°Okay. Here¡¯s the acetone.¡± He took the box of matches we found in a kitchen drawer and struck one, hurriedly throwing it onto the liquid before it could burn his gloved fingers. A flame jumped up immediately, making me jerk in panic. It stayed high for several seconds until the liquid was gone, eventually dying down to leave a burn mark on the ground. I took a deep breath and nodded, looking around at the reactions of my teammates. They looked as relieved as I felt. ¡°That was good, I think,¡± said Flick. ¡°Want me to try another one?¡± We had three other containers of possible accelerants. ¡°Nah. Let¡¯s just do it with this one,¡± said Derek. ¡°We¡¯re losing daylight. We still have to wait for the fire to die out and then clean up the mess.¡± ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± I agreed. ¡°When we run out of acetone, we¡¯ll try those other ones.¡± Flick grabbed the container and went to the fridge. We all followed behind. ¡°So, you want me to douse everything in there?¡± He waved the container in the general direction of the piles of bones. ¡°No,¡± I said, still worried we were going to torch the whole place if we got too enthusiastic. ¡°Just do that body in the middle. We¡¯ll do a test run.¡± ¡°Good plan,¡± said Jamal. His voice sounded weak, even with the mask effect going on. ¡°Why don¡¯t you go sit on that counter over there?¡± I suggested, touching his shoulder and gesturing with my head over towards the sinks and prep tables. ¡°No. I¡¯m going to stand firm. I¡¯m going to say a prayer for these people.¡± ¡°Whatever floats your boat,¡± I said, turning back to the fridge. ¡°Just don¡¯t pass out.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡± Ronald moved over to stand next to his brother and the two of them held hands as they murmured words of prayer. Flick stepped inside the fridge and opened the container. ¡°How much do you think I should use?¡± he asked, looking back at us. ¡°A capful,¡± I suggested. ¡°Three of ¡®em,¡± said Winky. ¡°That little flame we just had isn¡¯t going to be enough.¡± ¡°Works for me,¡± Flick said, measuring out three caps of the liquid and slowly pouring each over the remains. ¡°Everyone out,¡± I said, stepping over to the edge of the door. I swung it most of the way shut. ¡°Flick, throw that match from outside. I want to shut the door, just in case. Flick stepped outside and put the cap back on the container. He stopped just outside the door and turned back to face the inside. ¡°Ready?¡± he asked, not looking back. ¡°Ready,¡± I said. The others murmured their assent. ¡°Here goes nothin¡¯,¡± he said, as he lit the match and threw it inside. I hurriedly pushed the door shut and heard the latch click, my pulse racing a hundred miles an hour. I wasn¡¯t sure why I was so freaked out. A part of me worried all those bodies would make gasses that would maybe blow the place up. But it was probably long past the point where that could happen. They were months and months old, and we¡¯d had the door open long enough to let any of that stuff out. ¡°Well?¡± asked Gretchen. ¡°Should we look?¡± I put my hand on the door. ¡°Here goes nothing.¡± The body was still there, but now it had some weak flames dancing along the top of it. Parts of the remains were charred. ¡°Well, that worked, didn¡¯t it?¡± asked Ronald. ¡°Deliver her soul to heaven, Father,¡± said Jamal. ¡°Isn¡¯t her soul already there?¡± asked Winky, leaning on my shoulder to look into the space. ¡°It¡¯s just a form of respect,¡± said Jamal, pausing only to give her his explanation before continuing with his work of sending any lost souls to where they needed to be. ¡°I think that worked, right?¡± asked Gretchen. ¡°Can we do the rest of them now?¡± I shrugged. ¡°I guess. I¡¯m just worried, okay? Let¡¯s make sure we¡¯re totally ready for an inferno.¡± Flick went inside and opened the container. He turned it sideways and started pouring it liberally over the bodies, walking slowly around the room. ¡°Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.¡± Page 4 ¡°What¡¯s that all about?¡± asked Winky. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Just ¡­ you know. Ceremonial. This is like a cremation,¡± he explained. By the time he¡¯d gotten around to the other side of the boxed space, the acetone container was empty. ¡°That¡¯s all she wrote. If you guys want more firepower we¡¯re going to have to use another one of those containers.¡± He tossed it towards a garbage can across the room making the shot. ¡°Three points, all net. Swish.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think mixing chemicals is such a great idea,¡± said Derek. ¡°You read my mind,¡± I said, glad I wasn¡¯t the only one scared of crap I knew nothing about. I really wished I had paid better attention in chemistry class back when there was such a thing. ¡°Okay, everyone out,¡± said Flick. ¡°I¡¯ve got matches and I¡¯m not afraid to use ¡®em.¡± ¡°Dude, you¡¯re scaring me with the pyromania stuff,¡± said Gretchen. Flick turned halfway to face her. ¡°Never fear. Flick is here.¡± He winked at her and sparked the match under his face. It lit up his masked features, giving him a sinister air. He tossed the little flame into the space over his shoulder, I think planning on making a super-cool exit. But the fire had other ideas. A big whoof of flames came out behind him, along with a rush of air. Flick came flying out towards us, smoke coming off the back of his suit. All of us screamed or yelled, but none of us moved at first. I was so freaked out and confused I didn¡¯t know what to do. Bodo jumped into action, slamming the door shut. ¡°No!¡± yelled Derek. ¡°Open it back up!¡± ¡°Why?!¡± I screamed, thinking he¡¯d lost his mind and for some reason wanted to burn us all down. ¡°The fire needs oxygen! Open it!¡± He was right, but I couldn¡¯t agree. It seemed wrong. I just stood there, jerking my head around, trying to get feedback from everyone else. ¡°Get back!¡± Bodo yelled. Once everyone was clear, he cracked the door open, staying well behind it. Flames boomed out, throwing the door open all the way. ¡°Aahhhh!¡± Bodo flew through the air after getting whacked by the door, landing several feet away on his side. The percussion and heat wave blew me back too, along with everyone standing next to me. We went down in a tangle of arms and legs, all of us screaming in muffled gasps in our masks. ¡°Backdraft!¡± yelled Derek. ¡°It¡¯s only temporary! Get up! Get your extinguishers!¡± I looked up towards the entrance to the kitchen and saw Peter standing there, his face as white as a sheet. ¡°No, Peter!¡± I yelled, waving my arms like crazy. ¡°Get out!¡± He turned around and fled in the opposite direction. I was so relieved he was out of danger I just laid back, waiting for everyone else to get off me before bothering to get up. I could see the flames licking out of the doorway but mostly staying inside, so I was no longer worried we were about to get roasted alive. Once we were all on our feet again and sure we weren¡¯t singed anywhere, we started laughing. It must have been some weird reaction to not dying or something. My rational mind told me I should be standing guard with my extinguisher, but all I could do was cross my legs and hope I didn¡¯t have an accident in my hazmat suit. ¡°Whoa. I think I might have wet myself a little on that one,¡± said Jamal. ¡°There¡¯s no think about it, brother,¡± said Ronald, reaching down to squeeze his man parts. ¡°That was awesome,¡± said Winky, her eyes alight with excitement. ¡°Did you see that? Wall of flames. Busted our asses, totally.¡± Flick was back on his feet, limping a little. ¡°You okay, Flick?¡± ¡°Yeah. Just landed funny on my knee. Wasn¡¯t expecting that blow back at all.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a backdraft, dope. Didn¡¯t you see the movie?¡± asked Derek. ¡°I sure didn¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°Next time if you¡¯ve seen a relevant movie, tell us the important parts before we light the match, okay?¡± Derek smiled. ¡°Yeah, sure. No problem.¡± ¡°Did you hear dat?¡± asked Bodo, coming over to put his arm over my shoulders. I could hear the smile in his voice. ¡°It¡¯s not a problem.¡± We waited for the fire to burn out. It took over an hour and ended up requiring several more containers of various chemicals to finish the job. Bones didn¡¯t like to burn or stay burning, apparently. We finally decided that the only thing that really needed to burn was the goo and left a lot of the bones intact. Everything else could just get bagged up and buried. Our brilliant idea to finish the job today went down the tube when we attempted to shovel the burned out remains into the plastic bags; the first batch we tried melted completely through. The ashes hadn¡¯t yet cooled down enough to be handled or transported, even by cart. ¡°Well, that sucks,¡± I said, looking at the smoking mess. I nudged the melting bag away with my boot, shaking my leg a little when it acted like it wanted to stick to me. ¡°Yeah. I thought we were going to be completely done with this today,¡± said Gretchen. ¡°How depressing is that? Two days of being undertakers instead of just one. I always thought that was such a weird profession, and today has done nothing to change my mind about it, I can tell you that.¡± ¡°We can go dig the disposal site,¡± said Ronald. ¡°We¡¯re not going to just lay these bodies out on top of the ground, right?¡± ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± said Derek. ¡°It¡¯s not even lunch time yet. We need to get that done before we run out of energy. Maybe some of the others can help, too.¡± All I wanted to do was throw my suit into the fire and never come back to this place again. Gretchen was right; this was depressing. Somebody would have to be the funeral director of our new world, but it sure wasn¡¯t going to be me. At least, I hoped it wouldn¡¯t be. I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d have the stomach for it. I¡¯d come close to losing my guts about five times so far, and that was with the smell removed from the equation. ¡°Let¡¯s go eat some lunch and then do the digging. I¡¯m too tired to do it right now. I need calories big time.¡± I was light-headed, and even though my appetite wasn¡¯t much right now, I knew I needed to do something to keep my energy up. ¡°Goodt idea,¡± said Bodo, rubbing his stomach. ¡°I¡¯m starvingk.¡± He pushed his mask up over his face. After taking a couple of experimental sniffs, he grimaced. ¡°What?¡± I asked, my hand hesitating at the edge of my mask. I¡¯d been about to lift it up and give myself some much needed relief from my personal sauna. I was pretty sure at this point my armpit stink was bad enough to curl nose hairs. ¡°Chemicalss. Not goodt.¡± He pulled his mask back over his face. I smiled at his hair. It was standing out all over the place, wherever it had escaped the elastic bands holding the mask on. ¡°Take it off in da hallway, not here.¡± He motioned for me to walk in front of him. ¡°Should someone stay and watch this?¡± asked Flick, motioning to the fridge. He was mesmerized or something, his gaze never leaving the interior. ¡°Just shut the door,¡± I said. ¡°Fires need oxygen, right?¡± ¡°Ha, ha. Yeah, right.¡± Flick shut the door almost reluctantly and followed behind the others already on their way down the hallway. He looked back just as he was about the leave the room, staring at the fridge. ¡°I really feel like we should watch this thing.¡± ¡°Just go,¡± I said, pushing on him gently. ¡°If it catches on fire again, we¡¯ll smell it and come with extinguishers.¡± Flick finally gave up and left, jogging to catch up to Derek as he pulled his mask and gloves off. I was the last to leave the room. Looking back at the space with its stainless steel tables, sinks, and equipment, I wondered if it could ever be used as a place to prepare meals again - or if I¡¯d ever want to eat anything that came out of here. I¡¯d probably never lose the vision of all those bodies stacked up in there so carelessly. Life had to mean more than that to us in the future. I swore then that no matter what, I¡¯d never let one of my family members die and be left to rot in a pile with strangers. I walked down the hallway, pushing my hood back and pulling off my mask. I breathed in the smell of smoke and the last vestiges of death that still hung in the air. Chapter Two PETER HAD READ OUR MINDS. A pretty decent lunch, all things considered, was waiting for us when we arrived. Bodo was first in line for the food that was spread out on the table that used to be the reception desk. Winky went for the table with water on it, downing a small bottle in about three seconds. I paused at the entrance to the main lobby, waiting for everyone else to come out of the hallway. ¡°Wow, Peter doesn¡¯t waste any time, does he?¡± asked Derek, hanging back to walk with me out into the room. ¡°Boy¡¯s got it goin¡¯ on,¡± said Jamal, leaving with Gretchen to walk across the room towards Bianca. Ronald followed behind them. ¡°No, Peter doesn¡¯t waste any time at all. Organization is his special talent.¡± ¡°We all have one of those, don¡¯t we?¡± he asked, winking. ¡°A special talent. I hear yours is kicking ass.¡± I laughed. ¡°I guess. What¡¯s yours?¡± He reached up and scratched at his sweat-matted hair. ¡°Honestly, I have no idea. I can shoot a mean set of hoops, but that¡¯s not going to help anyone anymore.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll figure it out. Maybe you¡¯ll be a good cowboy.¡± He frowned. ¡°Cowboy? What¡¯s that all about? We going to do a rodeo?¡± ¡°I hope to get some cattle over here somehow. We¡¯ll see.¡± ¡°Huh. Interesting. I¡¯ve never ridden a horse before, but I¡¯m willing to try.¡± He moved away from me to join Bodo and the others from our cleanup team who¡¯d stepped up to the buffet. I walked over to be with Peter. He was standing in the corner of the room that had been set up as the clinic. ¡°Hello and ¡­ phew!¡± Peter waved his hand frantically in front of his face. ¡°Wowzers. Pungent be thy name. First and last. Nice to meet you, Stinky McSmellypits.¡± I lifted up an arm and took a whiff of my armpit. ¡°Whoa, you¡¯re right. Bad news ¡­ for you, I guess.¡± I quickly grabbed him in a hug, getting his face as close to my stench as possible. ¡°Gah! Gross! Get off!¡± He slapped at me like a little girl. I released him and looked around. ¡°Where¡¯s Fohi?¡± I saw all kinds of guys and girls lying nearby but no Little Bee. ¡°He¡¯s around the corner. We¡¯re giving him some privacy right now.¡± ¡°Privacy? What for?¡± I didn¡¯t like the sound of that at all. My heart sank. ¡°Come on.¡± Peter took me by the elbow to guide me, but immediately removed his hand when he realized the stink from above had dripped down. ¡°Geez, you really, really need a shower.¡± He scrubbed his fingers off on his pants the entire way across the room. ¡°Hook me up, city manager guy. I¡¯m all over it.¡± He wasn¡¯t exaggerating; I was pretty ripe. Even I was bothered by it now that it had been fully released from the suit and I wasn¡¯t wearing a gas mask anymore. Too much more of this and I¡¯d have to hand lung protection out to anyone standing near me. ¡°Trust me, I will.¡± We got past a divider wall to a small alcove that had a couple of dead potted plants in it. Fohi and Rob were lying on the ground on top of a couple Miccosukee blankets. Yokci was sitting up against the far wall, arms resting on bent knees. Fohi¡¯s complexion did not look good. Rob sat up as soon as he saw us. ¡°Hey, guys. What¡¯s up? How¡¯d the cleanup go?¡± Page 5 ¡°Yeah, how did that go?¡± asked Peter, stepping away and waving the air in front of his face a little. He looked like he¡¯d just bitten into a very sour lemon. ¡°Well, it went okay. Not great. We tried to do it the nice way, but that didn¡¯t work, so we just burned the mother down.¡± Rob smiled, bobbing his head and dancing in place a little. ¡°The roof ¡­ the roof ¡­ the roof is on fire ¡­¡± Fohi¡¯s weak voice spoke up. ¡°We don¡¯t need no water let the motherfucker burn ¡­¡± ¡°Burn motherfucker ¡­ buuuurn,¡± finished Rob. He nudged Fohi. ¡°Good one, man. You¡¯re not dead yet.¡± Yokci¡¯s jaw clenched, the muscle bouncing out on his face and making him look really angry. I swallowed hard. Is Rob serious? ¡°So what¡¯s up, Fohi?¡± I asked. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± I walked over and sat down next to him, looking at Rob for direction. Fohi¡¯s eyes remained shut. ¡°Like Rob said. I ain¡¯t dead yet. But I kinda wish I was.¡± He started coughing and then moaned, moving his hand to rest gently on his abdomen. ¡°Dude¡¯s got an infection from his wounds. He¡¯s gonna be fine, though.¡± Rob cleared his throat after it suddenly went husky. ¡°He¡¯s too much of a pain in the ass to die,¡± added Yokci. ¡°Dudes can¡¯t live without me,¡± said Fohi, his voice barely above a whisper. ¡°And the chicks ¡­ the chicks will give up all hope if I go.¡± I reached out and took his hand in mine. It was cold and clammy. ¡°Hang in there, Fohi. You¡¯re going to be fine, I know you are.¡± ¡°Have you seen my wounds yet?¡± he asked, peeking one eye open. ¡°I hear they¡¯re pretty gnarly.¡± ¡°Uh, no. Not since before, when you first got here.¡± ¡°He¡¯s got three deep wounds,¡± explained Yokci. ¡°He¡¯s lost a lot of blood.¡± ¡°I hear I¡¯m gonna have some killer scars.¡± Fohi tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a dry cough. ¡°Chicks like scars,¡± I said, barely able to move the words past the lump in my throat. ¡°Dude, I have to go eat. Please don¡¯t die while I¡¯m gone. I¡¯ll be back in a few.¡± ¡°Is that an order?¡± he asked, his eyes closing but half his mouth going up at the corner in an attempt at smiling. ¡°Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. You are not allowed to die while I¡¯m gone. Or when I get back for that matter. I order you to live to annoy us another day. Or year. Or fifty years.¡± ¡°Consider it done,¡± he said, just before his face went slack and his mouth dropped open a little. I squeezed his hand and leaned forward sharply, my heart seizing in my chest. ¡°Fohi!¡± He frowned. ¡°What?¡± His eyes opened halfway and squinted at me. ¡°Why are you yelling at me? Can¡¯t you see I¡¯m sick?¡± My heart was racing. ¡°Oh. Sorry. I thought ¡­¡± Rob laughed. ¡°You totally thought he was dead. She thought you were dead, dude.¡± I breathed out a heavy sigh. ¡°Yeah, I totally did.¡± Fohi smiled, eyes shut again. ¡°Tricked ya. Ha. Now I know you like me. Played right into my hands.¡± Yokci was shaking his head, saying nothing, but his jaw muscles had smoothed out and he looked less tense. I leaned over and got close to Fohi¡¯s face. ¡°I do like you. And I need you here helping me, so seriously. No dying.¡± ¡°¡®Kay.¡± He frowned and turned his face towards Rob. ¡°Oh, man. What¡¯s that smell? Oh, shit, Rob. Smell of death! Grim Reaper¡¯s coming for me!¡± His hand floated up blindly and landed on Rob¡¯s arm, gripping it and shaking it a little. ¡°Help me! Help me! Don¡¯t let him take me! I¡¯m too young to die!¡± I backed away. ¡°Eff you, Fohi. I¡¯m going to get some lunch.¡± I stood to leave, but didn¡¯t get out of the alcove before I heard him say, ¡°She better be going for a shower too before she kills someone with that Grim Reaper action she¡¯s got going on.¡± Peter giggled all the way over to the buffet with me. I was swallowing a big lump of stale bread down with a gulp of tepid water when movement out by the gate caught my eye. I slowly lowered the bottle down to the nearby counter and walked towards the glass door, picking my way through the seated and standing settlers. Several of our newest members were already at the lobby entrance, staring out. ¡°Who is that?¡± asked one of them. ¡°Canners?¡± asked another, fear in her voice. She backed away, tripping over someone sitting on the ground. ¡°Oops, sorry!¡± ¡°Watch where you¡¯re walking,¡± grumbled the older girl sitting with several others in a circle. ¡°Those aren¡¯t canners,¡± I said, recognizing the tattoos and shaved head hairstyle of one of the guys standing there. Yokci came up to stand beside me. ¡°That¡¯s Paci,¡± he said. ¡°What¡¯s up with that? What¡¯s he doing here? And who are those other people?¡± ¡°I have no idea.¡± We both moved to the door at the same time. ¡°Where are you going?¡± asked Peter from the clinic area. ¡°We need to go let them in,¡± I explained, turning the lock on the front door. ¡°Take this,¡± said Ronald, appearing at my side to press a gun into my hand. I looked down at it, hesitating. ¡°I don¡¯t need that. These are friends of ours.¡± I raised my head and looked him in the eye. ¡°Seriously. They¡¯re family.¡± ¡°All of them?¡± he asked, eyebrows raised at me. I looked out the front doors again. ¡°I guess. I don¡¯t know. We don¡¯t know all of them.¡± ¡°Exactly. Take the gun.¡± I scoffed at his suggestion. ¡°What ¡­ you think our friend is bringing canners in? I don¡¯t think so.¡± ¡°Ever heard of kidnapping? Bad guys forcing good ones to do bad things? Geez, don¡¯t be so naive.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know Paci,¡± is all I said, pushing the gun back into his hands. I left him standing there and strode out the front door, Yokci hot on my heels. By the time I was halfway to the fence, I was surrounded by not only most of my old friends and those picked up on the road but also Flick and Derek. My heart was racing the closer I got to Paci. His eyes bored into mine, not sparing a second look for anyone else. Bodo was next to me. I glanced over at him and noticed he had no expression on his face or any obvious body language that would tell me anything about what he was thinking. That could be good or bad. The heat was rising in my face to the point that I probably looked like a tomato by the time we finally got to the gate. What is Paci going to say? What will Bodo think? I can¡¯t believe I kissed him! Man, he¡¯s as cute as he ever was. Paci rested his hand on the chain links in front of him, still staring at me. ¡°Bryn,¡± he said when I got close. ¡°Paci. Glad you made it.¡± He nodded once, now finally looking at someone else. ¡°You found him.¡± His eyes were on Bodo for only a second before they were back on me. ¡°Yes. I did.¡± Bodo put his arm around my shoulders. ¡°Yess she didt. She rescued me from da Amazons because she luffs me.¡± Part of me wanted to push Bodo off, and that just made me feel terrible. He loved me and I loved him. It was so simple. So why it suddenly felt all complicated, I had no idea. I didn¡¯t love Paci, I just ¡­ admired him. I was grateful to him for standing up for me. That had to be why I couldn¡¯t stop feeling all messed up whenever he was around. Yokci solved the temporary problem of my inability to form a semi-intelligent sentence by speaking up. ¡°Are we going to let them in, or what?¡± Peter jingled the keys behind us. ¡°If I could get through, I could do that. Excuse me.¡± The group behind me shuffled around, making room for the key master. Peter stopped when he was next to me. ¡°Ready?¡± he asked, lifting an eyebrow at me. It was like time stood still for a few seconds. Peter was sending me all kinds of vibes, and several unspoken questions danced between us. I had a feeling I was in for some serious girl-chat after this, and I wasn¡¯t feeling bad about that at all. I needed to talk to someone about it, and it couldn¡¯t be Bodo. Peter was the only one I could trust to not only give me good advice but also keep my secrets to himself. The time would come for me to tell Bodo what had happened with Paci, but that was not now. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m ready.¡± I looked at Paci. ¡°Who are these other people?¡± ¡°Stragglers I found on the road.¡± He gestured with a jerk of his head over his shoulder. ¡°They used to live near the canner place. Said they were part of a network dedicated to giving them false recon.¡± I nodded. ¡°I heard about them.¡± I looked over at Bodo. ¡°From Alejandro.¡± ¡°Ah. Da sexy man-meat guy. He wass dare neighbor maybe.¡± I looked at Paci again. ¡°As long as you vouch for them, I¡¯m okay with letting them in.¡± There were two guys and one girl. None of them looked starving but neither did they seem like canner barbecue attendees either. How will I know if I¡¯m letting a canner in, other than to weigh them on a scale of starving to cannibal-size? I shook my head at the awfulness of it. I was sickened by the idea that I could end up sharing my home with a man-eater who had snuck in under the cover of friendship. Peter opened the lock and Bodo and Jamal rolled the heavy gate open to admit the newcomers. I stepped back with everyone else to give them room. I was planning to just let them walk to the lobby, but Ronald stopped them from proceeding any farther with a hand held up and a wide-legged stance. ¡°Wait. Stop right there.¡± He turned to me. ¡°Bryn, aren¡¯t you going to have them say the oath first?¡± ¡°Yeah. They have to say the oath,¡± said Derek. ¡°We did. Everyone should have to.¡± ¡°Oh. Yeah. Okay, I guess.¡± I looked to Peter and he nodded. ¡°Oath? What oath?¡± asked the girl. She had a sour look on her face that instantly put me on edge. It reminded me of Coli. Her hair was thin and stringy, very greasy. Her eyes were small and her nose sharp. She looked like an angry, mangey bird. ¡°It¡¯s a promise to help and not eat your fellow man,¡± said Flick. It should have been funny, but no one laughed. I separated from the pack and moved to the empty space between them and the front door. I raised my voice so they could hear me over the sound of muttering coming from my friends. ¡°Anyone who comes to Haven must be willing to sacrifice what he needs and wants for the good of our group. We promise to keep you safe, fed, sheltered, and cared for - to the best of our ability. But anyone who messes with us or tries to hurt us will pay the price.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the price exactly?¡± asked the girl. ¡°Death? Are you guys killing kids who refuse to live in a dictatorship?¡± One of the guys nudged her. ¡°Shut up, Gail.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t have to shut up. It¡¯s a legitimate question.¡± Peter walked around the outside of the crowd to stand next to me. Whispering out of the side of his mouth, he said, ¡°Everyone¡¯s watching. Don¡¯t take any crap from her.¡± I jabbed him with my elbow, whispering back, ¡°I got that. Thanks.¡± I lifted my chin a little. ¡°This isn¡¯t a dictatorship exactly. But for now, I¡¯m in charge. You don¡¯t like it, stay out. It¡¯s your choice. But if you come in, you have to accept that.¡± ¡°Without holding back,¡± added Derek. ¡°Just like the rest of us. No one¡¯s any better than anyone else here.¡± The entire group was nodding, and none of them looked happy. I had to doubt the intelligence of a chick who¡¯d walk up to a place like this and make such a terrible first impression. I was almost hoping she¡¯d walk away when she finally spoke. Page 6 ¡°Fine. I accept your terms. At least for now.¡± I was actually okay with her response, so I moved forward to join the others. ¡°No. Huh-uh. No way does that work for me,¡± said Gretchen, moving from her spot next to Jamal to go stand in front of Paci and the others he brought. ¡°If you can¡¯t walk through this gate and tell me that you¡¯ll have my back the entire time you¡¯re here, then don¡¯t even bother. We don¡¯t need troublemakers like you in here.¡± Things were quickly getting out of hand. Feathers were ruffling all over the place as people got their backs up and squared off on either side of the fence. I rushed forward to put some water on the fire. ¡°Hey! That¡¯s enough. Gretchen, get back, please. Let me deal with this.¡± Gretchen only hesitated about half a second before she complied, never taking her eyes off Gail. I got there and faced Paci again. ¡°Are you good with the terms?¡± He spoke without emotion. ¡°I¡¯m with you Bryn, no matter what the terms are. You know that.¡± My face flamed up again. ¡°Good. Go ahead in.¡± The crowd parted to let him by. I faced off against the three newcomers. Gail was looking definitely mutinous, but the other two seemed neutral. I didn¡¯t feel threatened by them, nor did I feel any warm and fuzzy stuff coming at me either. My gaze took in all of them. ¡°Listen ¡­ we don¡¯t want any trouble. We all just got moved in here, and we have a lot of work to get done before we¡¯ll be comfortable. We don¡¯t want to exclude anyone, but we also can¡¯t let anyone in who will hurt what we¡¯re trying to accomplish in here, you know what I mean?¡± One of the guys nodded. ¡°Yeah, I get it. It¡¯s cool.¡± ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Zach.¡± ¡°Zach, if you¡¯re good with the terms and agree to follow them, you can come in.¡± ¡°Sure, yeah, no problem. I agree.¡± The second guy gave him a half smile before turning to me. ¡°All you¡¯re getting is words. How do know half the people in there didn¡¯t lie to you?¡± I shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t. But in my world, you get one chance to prove you¡¯re as good as your word. It¡¯s all about honor. So long as you keep your word to us, it¡¯s gold. You lie once though, and you¡¯re done.¡± ¡°Good luck with that,¡± said Gail, obviously mocking me. The guy rolled his eyes. ¡°Give it a rest, Gail, Jesus.¡± He turned to face her, scowling. ¡°Aren¡¯t you tired of running?¡± His head swung back in my direction. ¡°I¡¯m in. I agree to your terms. And my word is good. Always has been.¡± He held out his hand. I took it in mine, noticing he had callouses that spoke of hard manual labor at some point. I prayed it wasn¡¯t the kind that involved the dismemberment of humans. ¡°Welcome to Haven ¡­ what¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Joe. And thanks,¡± he said, giving me the first genuine smile we¡¯d seen from him. ¡°It¡¯s good to be here. Really. I¡¯ve been walking forever trying to find a place to settle down.¡± ¡°You can tell us all about it tonight around the campfire.¡± I smiled back at him. ¡°You have campfires for real? Cool.¡± Joe seemed easily won over, which was a relief. I much preferred dealing with people who appreciated what we were trying to do here at Haven. I turned to Gail. ¡°So what¡¯s it going to be? Oath or no oath?¡± She shook her head angrily at the two guys who were walking away from her, guys who she had probably thought felt some sort of allegiance towards her. ¡°Fuck that,¡± she said, spitting on the ground. I stepped back two paces, bumping into a solid, warm body. I knew it was Bodo from the smell of his sweat and the way he enveloped me in his chest without even touching me. Not breaking eye contact with Gail, I said, ¡°Close the gate!¡± Jamal and Ronald jumped to it, sliding it along its track until it clanged into place against the fence. Peter walked up and put the lock in place, making sure it was shut securely before stepping away. It was dead silent except for the sound of the wind brushing past the high grasses that rose up nearby. Everyone stood quietly, all of us on the opposite side of the fence as this one stubborn girl. I felt bad for her. And I understood her moral or political predicament, but that didn¡¯t mean I was going to give her a special pass that meant she could ignore rules she didn¡¯t like. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you made this decision. If you change your mind, please come back.¡± ¡°Fuck you, Bryn. I promise you I¡¯ll be back, but not like you think.¡± She turned and walked away. ¡°Come on, Gail!¡± yelled Zach. ¡°Don¡¯t be like that!¡± ¡°Go to hell, Zach! You too, Joe! Assholes!¡± She flipped a bird behind her back. ¡°Where¡¯s she goingk to go?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°Dare¡¯s nothing out dare.¡± ¡°She¡¯ll be back,¡± said Peter. ¡°She¡¯s just one of those people who has a hard time adjusting.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t count on it,¡± said Zach. He sounded sad. ¡°She¡¯s pretty stubborn. That¡¯s how she made it this far. She came all the way from Tennessee.¡± ¡°Whatever,¡± I said, watching her form getting smaller and smaller. ¡°I wish her well. I think she¡¯s an idiot but that doesn¡¯t mean I want her to die out there.¡± Paci patted me on the shoulder, leaving his hand there when he was done. ¡°You did the right thing, Nokosi. You have to be tough. People have to toe the line or it¡¯ll be anarchy in here.¡± Bodo walked by and bumped into Paci, causing Paci¡¯s hand to fall off my shoulder. ¡°Come on,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯m still hungry. And we gotta digk dose holes very soon.¡± Paci watched him walk away, a very slight frown appearing for a second before disappearing and leaving him impassive again. He walked away without saying a word. Peter came up and stood beside me as we watched everyone else walk to the door. ¡°Trouble brewing in paradise, I see.¡± ¡°Please say it isn¡¯t, Peter. Seriously.¡± I looked over at him. ¡°I have too much crap to deal with right now to worry about roosters in the henhouse.¡± ¡°Perhaps you should have thought of that before you kissed the second rooster.¡± I gasped. ¡°What? How do you know that?¡± Peter raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°How quickly you forget who you¡¯re dealing with. I know all. I see all. I am the great and terrible Oz.¡± ¡°Coli caught me, didn¡¯t she?¡± Peter sighed. ¡°Yeah. And she told everyone who would listen what a slut you are.¡± I rolled my eyes, headed back into the building. ¡°Great. As if my life didn¡¯t suck enough already.¡± I could just barely make out Bodo walking through the crowd of kids to get to the food again. I was going to have to tell him about Paci and me as soon as I had the chance. I couldn¡¯t let him hear about that kiss from anyone else, and the guilt was eating me alive. I was seriously not looking forward to that conversation. It was Buster¡¯s frenzied behavior that clued me in to something being not quite right about Paci. Bodo was eating lunch with the others, and I had just started making my way over to the buffet when I caught frantic jumping motions out of the corner of my eye. Buster was doing some kind of crazy dance at Paci¡¯s feet. He looked like a little kid on Christmas morning, waiting to open presents that were just out of his reach. I frowned, taking a detour in Paci¡¯s direction. He was standing just at the entrance to the alcove where Fohi was recuperating. By the time I reached his side after weaving my way around several groups of people, Buster¡¯s enthusiasm had increased in its fervor. He looked like he was going to suffer a stroke any second, whining and letting out sharp barks over and over. ¡°Dude. What¡¯s in the bag?¡± I pointed to the bag he had hanging over his shoulder and resting on his hip. ¡°Just some stuff,¡± he said, his eyes glued on Fohi. ¡°What kind of stuff?¡± I tried to use the side of my foot to guide Buster away, but he wasn¡¯t having any of it. He rushed around my toes and started dancing again on Paci¡¯s other side. ¡°Stuff stuff.¡± Paci shifted the bag a little. A muffled meow came from inside. ¡°What the hell was that?¡± I asked. ¡°Is that a cat in there?¡± Paci sighed heavily. ¡°It was supposed to be a surprise.¡± He frowned scoldingly at Buster as he opened up the flap on his bag. Several of the other kids who had followed my progress over and watched Buster doing his dance gathered behind me. ¡°What¡¯s in the bag?¡± asked one of them. Paci¡¯s hand finally came out with a big ball of fluff in it. ¡°What the hell?¡± I asked. And then the ball of fluff moved and two little tiny eyes were looking at me, blinking sleepily. Paci extended the thing out to me, and my hands came up automatically to accept it. He reached into his bag and pulled out another ball of fluff, handing that one to me too. ¡°Happy birthday,¡± he said, smiling slightly. ¡°But it¡¯s not my birthday. And what ¡­ what are they?¡± I knew I sounded totally stupid, but I couldn¡¯t figure out what he was doing giving me kittens. They shifted to get more comfortable and cuddled up closer to each other. Then they began purring, the regular rhythmic motors fluttering over my fingers. Something in me started to melt. ¡°They¡¯re kittens,¡± he said, his smile getting bigger. ¡°You know ¡­ baby cats?¡± ¡°Yeah, I know what they are. I just ¡­ don¡¯t know why they¡¯re here in my hands. In Haven.¡± ¡°They¡¯re a gift from the Miccosukee. Mousers. Snake eaters. They¡¯ll help keep you safe.¡± I didn¡¯t know what to say. My heart spasmed a little as he just stood there and stared at me. He could have given me jewelry, and it would have been way less awesome. A tiny kitten paw came out and distracted me, flopping itself over the edge of my hand as the baby got more comfortable and stretched out. I shifted the furballs into one arm so I could feel the little fuzzy foot. The smooth pads on the underside with bits of fur between them were so amazing; it was the first time I¡¯d ever felt a cat¡¯s paw. Staring down at it, I reveled in its tiny perfection. How does nature come up with something so amazing? I had no idea what breed they were, but they were super tiny and fluffy. I¡¯d never had a cat before or a pet of any kind. Not even a gerbil. I rubbed the closest kitten with my index finger and he leaned into the stroke, his eyes remaining closed but his purring increasing in speed and volume. I wasn¡¯t sure why, but it brought tears very close to the surface. ¡°Awww! Look!¡± said a girl standing just behind me. She was probably the youngest of our group from the looks of her. ¡°It¡¯s kittens! That¡¯s so sweet. He brought you kittens.¡± I looked up at Paci again, my eyes bright with the tears I¡¯d never let fall. ¡°I¡¯ve never had a kitten before.¡± He didn¡¯t say anything for a few seconds. He seemed to be wrestling with his response. When he finally spoke it was for my ears only. ¡°I hope they will make you happy.¡± His gaze shifted from me to a spot over my shoulder. I turned in time to see Bodo walking up to stand behind me. ¡°Kittens. Oh, dat¡¯s a problem.¡± I turned to him, confused. ¡°Why are kittens a problem? They¡¯ll help keep the mice under control, right?¡± ¡°Yes, dat is true.¡± ¡°So? What¡¯s the problem?¡± asked Paci. He didn¡¯t sound angry. Just very serious. ¡°Some people are allergic, dat¡¯s all.¡± I hadn¡¯t thought of that. ¡°Is anyone here allergic to cats?¡± I shouted out into the lobby. Page 7 One hand went up. The kid it belonged to said, ¡°Just a little. It¡¯s no big deal.¡± Turning back to Bodo, I smiled. ¡°See? Not a problem.¡± Bodo nodded slowly, glancing down at the kittens with a slight frown before turning to go. He didn¡¯t say a word all the way back to the group of kids he¡¯d been eating with - the undertaker crew. I couldn¡¯t tell if he was angry or just jealous. ¡°You like them?¡± Paci asked. I was petting the babies who¡¯d both decided they needed attention and were crawling all over each other to get to my fingers. When one of them latched onto the tip of my pinkie finger and started sucking, my face split into a grin so huge I thought my face would break. ¡°Yeah. I like them.¡± ¡°Better come up with names for them,¡± he said, walking into the alcove to be with his tribesmen. ¡°No one likes to be anonymous ¡­ not even cats.¡± I thought about following him into the alcove but quickly decided against it. Things were weird between us and now especially so. I didn¡¯t know for sure that the kittens were some sort of personal gift for me from Paci, but it felt that way. And if it felt that way to me, it must seem that way to the others. Out of respect for Bodo, I had to tell Bodo what had happened between Paci and me while he was gone from Kahayatle, and I needed to tell him soon. I didn¡¯t like the feeling that something was going on beneath the surface that he wasn¡¯t aware of. It made me feel guilty and wrong. I resolved then to tell him everything that evening when it was time for bed, knowing I would be risking everything by doing it and also knowing I risked everything by not doing it. All of the able-bodied Miccosukee and Creek kids joined the undertaker group and helped dig the mass grave where we planned to put the remains of the bodies from the fridge. We worked for five hours straight, using shovels we found in a big room full of gardening tools. Apparently, the prisoners had done the landscaping at the prison, or they¡¯d had the means to do it anyway, and I for one was grateful for that particular punishment. It meant Bodo had everything he needed to manage our garden. ¡°So what¡¯s next?¡± Jamal asked, leaning on his shovel, sweat pouring down his face. ¡°We have to move the ashes to the grave,¡± said Ronald. ¡°And it ain¡¯t gonna be pretty either.¡± ¡°Do we have time to do this today?¡± I asked, looking at the sky. Dark clouds were gathering in the distance, and a rumble came several seconds after a flash of lightning. ¡°It¡¯s going to rain,¡± said Yokci, following my gaze. ¡°Maybe we¡¯d better do it tomorrow.¡± ¡°Tomorrow works for me,¡± said Flick, climbing out of the hole we¡¯d dug. It had several feet of water in it and smelled very swampy. Flick was covered in muck and didn¡¯t smell much better than I did. Derek walked over and stood next to me. ¡°What do you think? Try and beat the rain or give up for today?¡± ¡°I say we give up for the day.¡± I was riper than ripe now and wanted to take advantage of whatever downpour we might get to shower. ¡°Let¡¯s set up some water collection before the rain comes.¡± ¡°I think Peter¡¯s already on that,¡± said Jamal, pointing to a small group of kids off in the distance. They were crouched over something on the ground, and a large tarp had been positioned near a downspout coming from the roof. I smiled. I could always depend on Peter. ¡°Good.¡± I faced the digging crew. ¡°Okay, everyone. Let¡¯s call it a day.¡± Sighs of happiness came from everyone standing around and a couple diggers laid down on their backs. I walked over to the nearest one and nudged him on his arm with my toe. ¡°Rob, did you guys bring anything that could be used as a shower thing?¡± ¡°Nah,¡± he replied, staring up at the sky. ¡°We didn¡¯t have time. We had to get the hell out of there before we got our asses beat any worse.¡± I sat down next to him. ¡°So what exactly happened, anyway? I probably should have asked before now, but I¡¯ve been so busy worrying about these damn corpses I couldn¡¯t deal with anything else and not lose my mind.¡± ¡°Well, they jumped us, basically. Some of us stayed and fought, but the rest just scattered into the swamp. I know most of them were running to the ranches, setting up to defend the cattle and stuff. I don¡¯t think the canners had enough manpower to deal with the whole group of us, though. I think our people will be okay at the ranch. At least for a while. Some of them will probably go back to the swamp after the canners have cleared out, but it¡¯s hard to say.¡± ¡°But can they stay there indefinitely? At the ranch I mean?¡± I had never been to the ranch and had no idea what it even looked like. ¡°Maybe. There are three of them, and they¡¯re all basically out in the open. We¡¯d set up some small towers so we can look out and try and keep an eye on any people approaching, but if the canners come at night, those towers are useless. The dogs are a little help with warnings and stuff, but it¡¯s not like here.¡± ¡°So what are they going to do?¡± I was stressing now about the idea of my friends losing their lives and also the cattle being turned into barbecue dinners. The idiot canners didn¡¯t seem to realize that food could be renewable if they just left some of it alone. They were like eating machines. ¡°I have no idea. We told them to come here. I think that¡¯s what they¡¯ll eventually do if they can.¡± He sighed heavily, looking over at me. ¡°I think we need to go back ¡­ to see what happened and do what we can to get people over here.¡± I felt sick. ¡°You¡¯re right. We need to do that. And sooner rather than later.¡± Rob sat up. ¡°You mean that?¡± ¡°Of course I mean it. What kind of an asshole do you think I am.¡± Rob smiled humorlessly. ¡°No one would blame you one bit if you told everyone out there to go to hell.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be stupid. Just because Kowi and Trip had to make a hard decision I didn¡¯t agree with, it doesn¡¯t mean that we¡¯re suddenly enemies. This world is too nuts to draw lines in the sand like that.¡± ¡°You¡¯re more generous than most would be, I think.¡± Rob stood and offered me his hand. ¡°I¡¯d probably tell them to suck it if they came back to me after rejecting me.¡± I took his hand and got on my feet. ¡°No you wouldn¡¯t. You¡¯d forgive them too. My dad always told me that true friends were hard to come by, but even true friends make mistakes sometimes.¡± Rob walked with me back to the lobby. ¡°Your dad sounds cool.¡± ¡°The coolest,¡± I said, thinking about him. I felt like crying when I realized I couldn¡¯t remember for a moment what his face looked like. I stopped walking and closed my eyes, focusing hard on one of my distant memories: my dad sitting across the dinner table from me, staring me in the face. Blue eyes, crew cut, square jaw ¡­ scar just above his lip on the right side. ¡°Bryn, you can¡¯t stay here. A garden¡¯s out of the question.¡± ¡°What does having a garden have to do with staying anywhere?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll see. When you start a garden and nurture the seedlings into strong plants that will bear fruit and feed you ¡­ you become attached. They mean something special to you. You become part of the land in a way. And you cannot afford to become attached to this house, this land. It will become dangerous here, mark my words.¡± I¡¯d scoffed at him; I¡¯d been so naive. ¡°You¡¯re crazy. I know all the kids in this neighborhood. They¡¯d never do anything to hurt me.¡± My dad had frowned at me then, getting angry. ¡°You don¡¯t know what people are capable of when they¡¯re desperate. All the things you think are important now ¡­ most of those things will cease to exist for you. The only thing that will matter is finding food, shelter, and clothing. The basics. Survival of the fittest. You have to be smarter and tougher.¡± I smiled at that. ¡°I¡¯m already smarter and tougher.¡± ¡°Yes. You are.¡± His stressed look dissipated a bit. ¡°But you¡¯re kind-hearted too. And while that might be a weakness to some degree, I hope it will become one of your greatest strengths. If this world has a chance of continuing on and starting over, it will need people like you making decisions.¡± I laughed. ¡°You make me sound like the next president of the United States.¡± All humor disappeared from his expression. ¡°There will be no more United States. No more president. No more structure of any kind. Remember that.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Geez, Dad. No need to be so melodramatic.¡± ¡°Come on,¡± he said, standing. ¡°Let¡¯s go do some drills out in the back yard.¡± ¡°Again?¡± I whined. ¡°Can¡¯t we just take a break just this once?¡± ¡°No. No garden, no break. We practice every day until I¡¯m gone.¡± I still remembered the feeling that statement gave me. Fear. The day my father walked out the door for the last time was the worst day of my life. Even now, after having battled canners and thought more than a couple times I was going to die, that day was still the worst. ¡°Hello? Earth to Bryn, earth to Bryn. Come in, Bryn.¡± Rob was waving his hand in my face. I blinked a few times and jumped back to the present. ¡°Oh. Sorry about that. I was wandering down memory lane.¡± Rob nudged me forward. ¡°I don¡¯t recommend that trip. Too many regrets lying in wait.¡± I nodded. ¡°Totally. But I was thinking about my dad, how he said you shouldn¡¯t plant a garden until you were in your final place. The place you could be safe in and become attached to.¡± ¡°Is that here?¡± Rob stopped walking as we arrived at the door to the lobby. I looked back at the group still wandering near the pit we¡¯d dug and the other kids setting up water catchers. The long weeds swayed in the wind that had picked up as the storm grew closer. The land outside the barbed wire fences spread out wide and green as far as the eye could see. ¡°Yeah. I think this is the place.¡± ¡°Good.¡± Rob opened the door for me. ¡°I¡¯m tired of running, and I¡¯ve only come from Kahayatle.¡± ¡°Speaking of which,¡± I said, stepping through the door, ¡°let¡¯s make our plan for going back and getting the tribes out of there.¡± Chapter Three I SETTLED DOWN TO SLEEP in a far corner of the lobby, near the alcove that held Fohi and his tribesmen, Peter on my left and Bodo on my right. It was dark in the lobby and the sounds of the continued pouring rain and thunder kept our conversation private. One of the kittens was curled in by my stomach as I laid on my side facing Peter, and Buster was doing everything he could to get a lick in on its furry face. It batted him away with a hiss every time he got too close, but it didn¡¯t dissuade him in the least. ¡°How¡¯s Fohi doing?¡± I asked Peter, absently rubbing the kitten¡¯s cheeks. Its purr machine was running strong. ¡°He¡¯s better, but still not out of the woods. We have antibiotics, but they can only do so much. And we¡¯re going to run out of them soon, and then we¡¯ll have kids dying from simple cuts. I¡¯m trying not to freak out about that, but it¡¯s impossible not to.¡± ¡°There has to be something we can do,¡± I said. ¡°Do you think we could make some kind of antibiotic?¡± ¡°Maybe we could trade for some,¡± said Bodo from behind me. ¡°Trade who? For what?¡± I asked without looking over. ¡°Dat Amazon girl, Kirsten. She can make all dat medicine. Dat¡¯s not a problem for her. All we needt to do is give her something dat she wants and she will do it like a trade.¡± ¡°The only thing she wants is sperm,¡± I said, giggling. The kitten had rolled onto its back and succumbed to my petting. Buster saw his chance and was crawling over very slowly, a serious lick attack on his mind. I could read him like a book, which was pretty easy considering it was a book of about four sentences: Must eat food. Must lick everything. Must sleep. Must doodle. Buster was a simple dog, but I wasn¡¯t complaining; my life was complicated enough. Page 8 ¡°Eksactly. Dat is what I¡¯m saying. Give her da man-meat and she will give you da drugs.¡± I got an uncomfortable feeling in my gut. ¡°So you want me to ask guys to pimp themselves out for the good of the group? That¡¯s just wrong.¡± Bodo sighed. ¡°Dat¡¯s true, yes, but I don¡¯t think you are goingk to have a problem with da men saying no.¡± ¡°Think about it, Bryn,¡± said Peter. ¡°If we could all control ourselves and do the right thing, none of us would have sex with someone of the opposite sex until our world is a better place to live in. Having a baby is too big of a risk. But we¡¯re human. We don¡¯t always do the smart thing. So, if a guy could be with someone who wanted to have a baby and she had a way to take care of it, maybe it would be kind of tempting to be able to have sex and not worry about the consequences.¡± ¡°Except for the fact that he¡¯d have a kid out there somewhere,¡± I said, getting angry about the things they were suggesting. ¡°Not all guys would be okay with fathering a kid and then disappearing.¡± ¡°No, you¡¯re right. I¡¯m not saying that, exactly,¡± said Peter. ¡°I just mean that it¡¯s a different world but we still have the same basic needs.¡± ¡°Yes, and da evolution is strong. People will still want to have da babies, even when da world is a scary place.¡± ¡°It¡¯s hardwired into our DNA to procreate,¡± said Peter. ¡°Even when technically the way we want to do things won¡¯t ever end in procreation.¡± ¡°Are you saying you want to adopt, Peter?¡± I asked, trying like heck to hold back my laughter. ¡°Mock me if you will,¡± warned my little friend. ¡°I¡¯d make a great dad, though. I don¡¯t care what you say.¡± I reached out in the darkness and patted him roughly on the head. ¡°Yes, you would. You totally would. I was just messing with you. Have you picked out a name for your baby yet?¡± ¡°Yes, as a matter of fact I have,¡± he responded sassily. ¡°And a co-parent? Do you have one of those picked out too?¡± I meant it as a joke, but I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that it was a mistake. Peter rolled over and didn¡¯t say anything. I scooted over closer to him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I shouldn¡¯t have said that. I¡¯m an idiot.¡± ¡°Yes, you are,¡± he said very quietly. ¡°Peter, listen to me.¡± I put my hand on his shoulder and tugged him over onto his back. ¡°I¡¯m going to go back and find him for you.¡± Peter gripped my hand, his boney fingers digging into my skin. ¡°No! No, you can¡¯t go back there. Especially not for him.¡± ¡°We are. Not just me, but several kids. We have to go back and figure out what¡¯s going on ¡­ get Trip and the rest of them over here if they want to be here.¡± Peter sat up. ¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡± ¡°Hush, dope! You want to wake everyone up?¡± I pushed him back down, and he went with only a little resistance. ¡°We have to go, and you know it. If it were me back there, you¡¯d come.¡± ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s not you. It¡¯s just a bunch of idiots who didn¡¯t back you up as far as I¡¯m concerned. They can just figure out how to get here like Rob and Paci did.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t mean that,¡± I chided. ¡°Many hands make light work, right? We could use more able-bodied people here helping us. Not to mention some horses and cows and stuff.¡± Peter didn¡¯t say anything for a while. When he did, I could almost hear the gears turning in his little head. ¡°You seriously think you could get all that stuff here and not get caught by canners?¡± ¡°I think I need to try.¡± I wasn¡¯t about to guarantee him I could accomplish that without paying a price of some sort. I wasn¡¯t that stupid. He sighed heavily. ¡°I guess I have some plans to coordinate. When do you think you¡¯ll go?¡± ¡°Couple days, a week. Whenever we can. When a few more people are strong enough to go with me.¡± ¡°Good. That gives me time to put some things together.¡± ¡°Things like what?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡± He rolled over and was soon asleep. I considered ignoring the other elephant in the room in favor of much-needed rest, but my conscience wouldn¡¯t let me. Bodo¡¯s breathing was regular but missing the light snoring he sometimes had. ¡°Bodo? Are you awake?¡± I whispered. ¡°Yes. I¡¯m very tired but I haff a lot of things on my mind, I guess.¡± ¡°Me too.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure where to start. ¡°Do you want to talk to me about somesing?¡± ¡°Yes. I do, actually.¡± Here it comes. The moment where I admit I¡¯m an asshole. ¡°Remember when you were gone ¡­ at the Amazon¡¯s place?¡± ¡°Yes, of course. How can I forget dat?¡± ¡°Yeah, well ¡­ something happened while you were gone. It¡¯s not a big deal really, but I just think I should tell you anyway.¡± Bodo said nothing for a long time. I was starting to feel sick by the time he responded. ¡°I am not goingk to like dis, am I?¡± My ears were hot with shame. ¡°Probably not. But I hope it¡¯s not going to be a big deal to you because it¡¯s not to me.¡± ¡°Tell me what it is, please.¡± I was on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I wanted to stay that way so I could avoid the shame of seeing his reaction, but that was the coward¡¯s way out. I rolled onto my side, facing him. I couldn¡¯t see his expression in the darkness, but I knew he was there by the heat of his breath hitting my face. ¡°When you were gone, I was seriously stressing about you being dead. No one knew what had happened and what everyone saw you doing last was fighting canners right by the place that eventually was blown up and on fire.¡± ¡°You thought I was deadt.¡± ¡°Yes. Well, no. I wasn¡¯t sure. I kept telling myself you could be alive, but then I couldn¡¯t figure out why you wouldn¡¯t come back to Kahayatle.¡± ¡°You mean back to you.¡± I sighed. ¡°Yeah, that too.¡± ¡°You know I tried, right?¡± ¡°Yes, I do now. But at the time, I didn¡¯t, you know? And as the days went by and you still didn¡¯t show up, I got more and more depressed. I don¡¯t know ¡­ I kind of felt like I¡¯d lost my dad all over again in a way. I kept thinking how much he would have liked you.¡± Bodo reached out and rubbed my arm. ¡°Thank you, Bryn. I know dat is very special for you to say dat.¡± His being so nice just made me feel worse. ¡°That¡¯s not what I need to tell you, though.¡± ¡°Okay, I¡¯m listening.¡± ¡°After you left, someone in the swamp kind of made it known that he ¡­ you know, wanted to be with me ¡­ like you were.¡± My face was flaming red right now, and it only got worse when Bodo¡¯s hand went still and then left my arm. ¡°Continue,¡± he said. ¡°Everyone thought you were dead. He didn¡¯t mean anything bad or disrespectful by it. He wouldn¡¯t have done it if you had been there.¡± ¡°Who was it?¡± ¡°I¡¯d rather not say.¡± There was so much potential for bad blood in this situation, I hoped to avoid it as much as possible by keeping his name secret. ¡°Dat¡¯s okay. I know who it was. It¡¯s dat Paci.¡± I felt like I was going to throw up hearing the tone of Bodo¡¯s voice. It was dead-sounding. No emotion. The love that was usually there shining through was gone. ¡°Yes. It was. He¡¯s not a bad person, Bodo.¡± ¡°No, he¡¯s not a bad person. I know dat. But he¡¯s a person who wants to be Mr. Bryn, I know dat too. And if you want him, den I guess dat is your choice.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t. I just have to tell you that something happened with him, and I¡¯m not proud of it or happy about it. It just ¡­ happened.¡± Again there was a long pause before he spoke. ¡°Just tell me. I am imagining a lot of thingks und I prefer da truth.¡± ¡°We kissed. We talked and we kissed. One time.¡± ¡°What kind of kiss?¡± His voice was strained. I didn¡¯t want to answer. I wanted to lie. I wanted the truth to not even exist. But it didn¡¯t matter. It happened, and there was no denying it. ¡°It was a big one. It was meaningful.¡± ¡°Oh. I see.¡± He rolled over and didn¡¯t say another word. I wrestled with myself about whether to keep talking. But I couldn¡¯t think of anything else to say other than one last thing. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Bodo. If I could take it back, I would.¡± No response. It took me a long time to fall asleep, and when I finally did, nightmares of being left behind and abandoned by the boy I loved filled my head and left me crying silently in the dark. When I awoke, I was alone on my blanket with only a sleeping kitten and Buster to keep me company. Peter was standing with a group of girls across the room and Bodo was nowhere to be seen. I left the ball of fur suffering under the poodle¡¯s anxious attention to use the temporary latrine that Peter had a group dig out the day prior. On my way out I looked around, but still didn¡¯t see Bodo anywhere. When I emerged from behind the tarp that served as the latrine¡¯s door, Rob was standing outside. ¡°Hey, Rob, what¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Just draining the main vein. You know how it is.¡± ¡°Ew. Too much information, dude. Why are you using the outhouse, though? Can¡¯t you just go anywhere?¡± ¡°Technically, yes. But Peter is making everyone go in the same place. He says he wants to control disease and sanitation or whatever.¡± I laughed. ¡°Awesome. Well, enjoy.¡± I gestured to the tarp as I walked by. ¡°Wait up for me. I¡¯ll just be a second.¡± I stood back a few paces waiting for him. He talked while he wizzed. ¡°We need to get going on our little rescue plan or whatever. There¡¯s no reason to wait. Fohi¡¯s not going no matter what he says, and the longer we wait, the more time we give those asshole canners a chance to get in there again and in bigger groups.¡± I nodded absently, thinking about the nightmare of walking in on a recently fought canner war. The casualties would be horrendous. ¡°Yeah. I know. The logistics suck, though ¡­ I wish we could take Peter with us.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll have to worry about that,¡± said Rob, coming out and tying the straps on the front of his pants. ¡°Dude¡¯s been up since before dawn planning with a group of other OCD kids. He¡¯ll have our every move mapped out before lunch.¡± I smiled. ¡°There¡¯s a group of them?¡± ¡°Yeah. They¡¯re calling themselves the City Manager¡¯s Corps or something like that. Bunch of Peter disciples. I won¡¯t be surprised if they start saluting him soon.¡± ¡°Peter disciples. That just sounds so wrong.¡± He laughed as we walked back to the lobby. ¡°Tell me about it. But it seems to make him happy and keep his mind off ¡­ well, you know ¡­ stuff, so whatever.¡± ¡°Trip, you mean.¡± ¡°Yeah, maybe.¡± ¡°So what¡¯s the deal with Trip? I mean, did he say anything to you guys about Peter or whatever after we left?¡± ¡°Nah. He didn¡¯t say anything. But he was obviously really upset, and I think everyone knew it wasn¡¯t over you.¡± ¡°Why doesn¡¯t he just admit he¡¯s in love with Peter or likes him or whatever and get over himself?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that easy. Trip¡¯s dad was really harsh. Being gay would have been like a sin against the family or something to that guy. Trip didn¡¯t even want to admit it to himself for a really long time. At least, that¡¯s what it seemed like from where I stood.¡± Page 9 ¡°That¡¯s sad.¡± I wanted to think that my dad would have loved me no matter what my sexual orientation was, but maybe you could never know how someone would react until you actually came out to them. ¡°Yeah. Sucks. But it¡¯s stupid, because I think a lot of people who knew Trip suspected it about him and would have been really supportive if he¡¯d just trusted us with his secret.¡± ¡°But if he wasn¡¯t even admitting it to himself, how could he admit it to you guys?¡± ¡°True. But I think based on how he¡¯s acted around Peter that he¡¯s not in denial anymore. At least not totally.¡± We reached the door and he pulled it open for me. ¡°Don¡¯t be so sure about that,¡± I said. ¡°He sure seemed to be wrestling with the issue the way he dealt with Peter.¡± ¡°Maybe he¡¯ll get a second chance to make it right,¡± said Rob, looking over at Peter and his gaggle of followers. ¡°I hope so,¡± I said, going over to the alcove where Fohi was still resting. He was still lying down, but decidedly less gray around the mouth. His lips actually had color in them today. Paci sat next to Yokci, both of them watching, but saying nothing. I just glanced at them once and focused on Fohi again. My brain kept telling me to look at Paci, to stare at him and try and figure out what was going through his head, but I ignored the compulsion. I¡¯d already caused enough problems paying him too much attention. ¡°Hey, Little Bee. How¡¯s it hangin¡¯?¡± I asked, sitting down next to him. ¡°I¡¯m not sure. Why don¡¯t you check and see?¡± He opened his eyes and grinned at me weakly. ¡°Ew, no thanks.¡± That seemed to wake him up. ¡°Ew? You¡¯re saying ew about my man-junk. Geez, way to shoot a guy down. Talk about shrinkage.¡± I laughed. ¡°No offense, Bee. Just not in the mood to see the old twig and berries right now, shrunken or otherwise.¡± ¡°That¡¯s alright,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m saving myself anyway.¡± ¡°Dude, you¡¯re such a girl,¡± said Rob, sitting down next to his friend¡¯s head. Fohi angled himself to look up at Rob. ¡°Shut the hell up, dick. Just because I¡¯ve got plans for my future that don¡¯t include screwing around with any old girl, doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m a chick. It means I¡¯m intelligent.¡± ¡°Yeah. Intelligent. That¡¯s you, man. You hungry?¡± ¡°Yeah. But I have food already on the way.¡± He smiled smugly at his friend, just as Winky was walking into the alcove. ¡°Here you go, Fohi. Room service at your service.¡± Winky probably had no idea that she was sending Fohi¡¯s heart into a flutter, but there was no mistaking the expression on his face; he had total goo-goo eyes for her. It was too bad that she seemed to be staring more at Rob than anyone else. ¡°Thanks, Winky. That¡¯s really nice of you. You¡¯re always looking out for me like that.¡± Fohi struggled to sit up. Rob helped him by pushing on his back, not looking at Winky at all. It seemed almost deliberate how he stared at anything but her. ¡°No big deal,¡± she responded. ¡°We need to get you better so you can kick some canner butt later.¡± ¡°You said it. I got demolitions to set up and traps to put together. I gotta get off my ass asap.¡± He grabbed a hunk of bread off the plate and bit into it, chewing like a cow. ¡°You¡¯re not going anywhere or doing any of that crap for at least a week or two,¡± said Rob. ¡°Says who? You?¡± Crumbs were flying out of Fohi¡¯s mouth. ¡°You¡¯re not the boss of me, Rob. You¡¯re not even the boss of this kitten.¡± Fohi shifted the sleepy ball of fur from his lap to his shoulder where the little guy managed to curl back up and fall asleep with his claws digging into Fohi¡¯s shirt. ¡°You still aren¡¯t going. Try it and I¡¯ll bash you over the head with a shovel.¡± I lifted my eyebrows at that. Rob was seriously worried about his friend. He might actually have been serious about knocking his friend unconscious. ¡°Ha. You could try, but then you¡¯d better wear a cup the rest of your life. I hold a grudge you know.¡± Fohi gnawed off another hunk of stale bread. Rob laughed. ¡°Bullshit. You couldn¡¯t hold a grudge if your life depended on it.¡± ¡°Go to hell, Rob. You don¡¯t know me as well as you think you do.¡± Fohi looked at Winky. ¡°So, you come around here often?¡± She snorted. ¡°Not if I can help it. You want anything else?¡± ¡°As a matter of fact ¡­¡± Rob punched him hard in the back. ¡°Nah, he¡¯s good.¡± Winky walked away, shaking her head and smiling. I glanced up in time to see a ghost of a smile on Paci¡¯s face. He looked at me and I turned back to Fohi, avoiding his gaze. ¡°What the hell?!¡± shouted Fohi, wincing when his outburst caused the kitten to claw his shoulder in fright. ¡°Ow, little kitty cat, ease up on the skin removal, will ya?¡± He pulled her off his shirt and set her down on the ground. ¡°Go away, Fuzzybeans. Scat. I¡¯m busy.¡± She picked her way across his blanket to his plate and helped herself to part of his breakfast, completely ignoring his dismissal. Her litter mate was sound asleep on a spare corner of the sleeping spot, not interested so much in the close and personal style of cuddling her sister was doing with Fohi, apparently. Fohi frowned at her for a second before turning his ire back on Rob. ¡°What they hell¡¯d you punch me for, assbag? I¡¯m friggin injured in case you hadn¡¯t noticed. And I¡¯m trying to eat. You raised in a barn, or what?¡± Rob stood. ¡°Just shut up for five minutes, would ya?¡± He walked away without saying another word, heading to the breakfast buffet. ¡°What the heck¡¯s wrong with him, anyway? What¡¯d I say?¡± Fohi looked from me to Yokci to Paci, trying to find answers. I shrugged. I had a feeling there was some kind of girlfriend drama going on here, but I sure didn¡¯t want to be the one to stir up that hornet¡¯s nest. ¡°I have no idea. Maybe he¡¯s jealous of your broad shoulders.¡± It wasn¡¯t a very elegant suck-up, but it was the best I could come up with on such short notice. Fohi got a huge grin on his face. ¡°You think so? You¡¯re probably right.¡± He sat up straighter and puffed up his chest a little. ¡°My ma always said I had broad shoulders. Like a swimmer, she said.¡± ¡°Yeah. Like a swimmer,¡± I agreed. Like a tadpole, more like it. ¡°Chicks dig broad shoulders,¡± he said, trying to nudge the kitten away. She just batted at his fingers and ate more food. ¡°Come on, little Fuzzybeans. I need to eat too, you know.¡± ¡°Fuzzybeans? Is that her name?¡± ¡°How the heck do I know? She¡¯s not my cat.¡± ¡°What about that one? What¡¯s it¡¯s name?¡± ¡°I call her Freak, but I don¡¯t know. She¡¯s not my cat either.¡± I laughed. The kitten known as Fuzzybeans was climbing back into his lap to lick her paws and wipe her face. ¡°I¡¯m not so sure about that one. I think she¡¯s selected you as her pet.¡± Fohi smiled as he patted her on the head. ¡°Yeah. All the pussies like me, what can I say.¡± He leaned over and grabbed the other one too, putting her in his lap with the other one. I gagged on my own spit. Yokci barked out a laugh and then turned away so we couldn¡¯t see his face. Paci laughed silently, head down. ¡°And on that note, I¡¯ll be leaving,¡± I said, standing to go get my breakfast. ¡°Take Fuzzybeans with you, would ya? She¡¯s eating all my food.¡± ¡°Hell no,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s your cat now.¡± I joined Peter and his minions in the place he¡¯d set up as City Manager central in front section of the lobby. He¡¯d found paper and pens and had been busy writing out lists of things to accomplish, inventories of all our supplies, and plans showing the layout of the prison. ¡°Whoa,¡± I said, picking up one that looked like a blueprint or something, showing the section I knew housed the kitchen and our impromptu crematorium. ¡°This is good. Who did this? The detail is amazing.¡± ¡°You can thank Bianca for this little jewel,¡± he said, taking it gingerly from my hands. ¡°I¡¯ll just put that back where it belongs if you don¡¯t mind. Don¡¯t want anything to happen to it, do we?¡± ¡°I had a shower in the rain yesterday, you know. I don¡¯t smell anymore.¡± I checked my pits just to be sure and then smiled. ¡°Yes, but it only takes one drop of sweat to smear the ink, you know. I just wish I had some plastic sheet protectors.¡± He frowned, looking out the windows into the distance. If I didn¡¯t know any better I¡¯d think he was planning a pilgrimage to Office Depot. ¡°I think you¡¯d better give up on whatever little fantasy you have cooking in your bean right now. You¡¯ll just have to keep everyone away from all your little lists and drawings. Maybe put them behind glass or something.¡± I was attracted again by the detail in Bianca¡¯s drawing. ¡°What¡¯s that right there?¡± I was pointing to a section that showed something with hashmarks going through it. ¡°It¡¯s a shower facility. We¡¯re not sure what we¡¯ll use it for. Someone suggested we find a way to pump rainwater from a roof cistern into the pipes, but I¡¯m not sure if we¡¯ll have the engineering knowhow to do that or not. We¡¯re also kind of missing the cistern part of the plan.¡± I nodded my head, impressed someone would even dream of doing it. ¡°Maybe not today or next week, but how about next year? I¡¯ll bet we could find what we need out there somewhere, and probably not that far from here.¡± ¡°Anything¡¯s possible. All I know is, we¡¯re here to stay, and we¡¯re going to find a way to make things work. There¡¯s no reason why we can¡¯t have some of the comforts we used to have. Showers are a must if we¡¯re going to keep disease and illness to a minimum.¡± ¡°I agree. So what¡¯s Bianca¡¯s deal? How¡¯d she get so awesome at this?¡± ¡°She took a bunch of drafting classes in school. She wanted to be an architect. Her mom was one I guess.¡± ¡°Sweet. Maybe with this group and anyone who joins us we can have every career field represented. It¡¯ll be like in the olden days when kids did whatever their parents did.¡± ¡°Not every job needs to exist now, but the ones that matter in this world could, like engineering and making things and farming,¡± said Peter. ¡°I wanted to talk to you about the library.¡± I frowned. ¡°What library?¡± ¡°Well, first of all our library.¡± He pointed to another map, to a square that looked like it was probably a large room of some sort. ¡°Here¡¯s where we¡¯re putting all the books - in the former prison library, which was pretty crappy, actually. You and I brought the most, but some of the other kids had some too. We¡¯ve all agreed to make them available to the community. All except for George¡¯s journal of course.¡± I nodded. ¡°Of course. That¡¯s exclusively mine and yours. No one else¡¯s.¡± ¡°Understood. And as for the library¡¯s future, we¡¯d like to see about going to some local libraries and book stores and moving their books over here.¡± ¡°All of them?¡± Peter was going a little nuts now. With books being so heavy and bulky, I couldn¡¯t imagine how we¡¯d move them over long distances without putting ourselves at huge risk. ¡°Sure. Almost all of them, anyway. Technical stuff, fiction novels, encyclopedias. If we¡¯re going to rebuild, we¡¯ll need that knowledge. I think one of the best places we can go is the university bookstores. I heard from Bianca that the University of Miami has a monster one.¡± Page 10 The wheels were starting to turn in my head now. ¡°I¡¯ll bet they have all kinds of technical goo-gah there. Like engineering and chemistry stuff.¡± ¡°Exactly. And we have kids with skills already. We could do some study courses to help increase what knowledge we have and get going on really setting this place up for the long term.¡± ¡°Now all we have to do is figure out how to move all that stuff without getting attacked and eaten.¡± ¡°I¡¯m working on that, too.¡± I hugged Peter to me hard. ¡°What would I do without you?¡± He patted me lightly on the back. ¡°You¡¯d manage. But I appreciate your gratitude. It¡¯s nice to be needed.¡± I pulled away, but left my hands on his arms. ¡°I¡¯m going to go and get him for you, Peter.¡± ¡°Who?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t play games. You know who I¡¯m talking about.¡± Peter closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them again, they were as cold as I¡¯d ever seen them. ¡°I don¡¯t care what he does. He can stay and rot in that stinky swamp as far as I¡¯m concerned.¡± I dropped my hands from his arms. ¡°Peter, don¡¯t say that. You know you don¡¯t mean it.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t I?¡± ¡°No, you don¡¯t. You¡¯re not that cold-blooded.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not about being cold-blooded. It¡¯s about walking away when that¡¯s the right thing to do. He could have come with us. He could have stopped me. He made his choice, and now we both have to live with it. That¡¯s life out in the badlands.¡± I shook my head. ¡°First of all, badlands? What¡¯s that? Are we living in a Blade Runner movie now? And when did you get so hardcore, anyway? What happened to my fluffy doodle dumpling?¡± He shrugged, shuffling some papers and making a big deal out of straightening the ones laid out in front of him. ¡°I¡¯ve always been this way. People who can¡¯t adapt and move on get left behind, and I¡¯m not getting left behind.¡± I sighed, very frustrated. ¡°Could you stop with the papers for a second?¡± His casual attitude was really worrying me. Before, I¡¯d always thought Peter having a breakdown would be all about hysterics and girly screaming. Now I wasn¡¯t so sure that it wouldn¡¯t be a lot of hyper organization and planning like what I was seeing here. ¡°I¡¯m busy right now. Maybe we can continue this conversation later.¡± ¡°No, maybe we can continue it now,¡± I said, more firmly this time. He stopped and put his hands on his hips. ¡°You¡¯re getting a little high-handed, don¡¯t you think?¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t even seen high-handed, yet. Trust me. Either talk to me now and cut the crapola or I¡¯m going to carry you out of here and force you to talk. And I¡¯m warning you ¡­ there could be possible cuddling after.¡± ¡°You wouldn¡¯t,¡± he said, his nostrils flaring. ¡°You sure about that?¡± I asked, raising an eyebrow. I widened my stance, preparing to grab him around the middle and haul him out of there. He wilted like a newly airless balloon. ¡°Fine.¡± He dropped his gaze to the floor. ¡°But I¡¯m not going to like it.¡± ¡°Come on, you don¡¯t have to like it.¡± I took him by the elbow and led him out of the lobby and over to the front gate. Once we were out of everyone¡¯s earshot, I spoke again. ¡°Listen, I know Trip was a total douchebag blowing you off like that. But you have to admire him for doing what he believed in, even though it was obviously tearing him up inside.¡± Peter snorted. ¡°Yeah right. Tearing him up? I don¡¯t think so.¡± ¡°I talked to Rob. He said Trip was miserable after you left. It was obvious to everyone he was very upset about you leaving.¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t about me.¡± I laughed. ¡°What? You think he was upset to see me go?¡± Peter tried to keep frowning but he couldn¡¯t totally pull it off. A tiny smile appeared. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Jamal? Ronald?¡± Peter¡¯s smile got bigger. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Bodo?¡± ¡°Definitely not.¡± ¡°Buster?¡± ¡°Maybe.¡± ¡°Maybe he misses Buster, but he wasn¡¯t standing out on the riverbank as we drifted by for the poodle, you dork, and you know it. He was glad to be rid of me. He was mad at Rob, Fohi, and Winky for leaving, but he knew he¡¯d see them again. It was you he was upset about.¡± I shook Peter gently. ¡°And you pretending that¡¯s not the case is just stupid. You¡¯re just bringing the drama.¡± I tickled his ribs a little. ¡°Drama queen.¡± ¡°Stop.¡± He pushed my hand away, still smiling but trying not to. ¡°Drama queen.¡± I tickled him some more, using two hands now. ¡°Stop. I¡¯m serious!¡± He tried like heck to push me away, but I wasn¡¯t having any of that nonsense. ¡°Admit it!¡± I yelled playfully. ¡°Admit you¡¯re a drama queen!¡± I was getting him so good he was close to falling down. ¡°No! Never! And you¡¯d better watch out before I start defending myself!¡± I laughed with glee, so busy tickling him I wasn¡¯t paying attention to the obvious signs of his impending revenge. ¡°Go ahead, drama queen, give it your best shot.¡± I had expected him to try and eye gouge me or palm thrust me like I¡¯d taught him, foolish girl that I am. The revenge he¡¯d planned so sweetly didn¡¯t hit me until the intense burning flashed out from my chest. ¡°Titty twister! Ah ha!¡± he squealed, dancing out of my reach. ¡°Take that, you smelly beast!¡± ¡°Oh my god!¡± I yelled. ¡°You just pinched my nipple!¡± My jaw dropped in shock. He held up two sets of pinching fingers in front of him. ¡°Stay away or you¡¯ll suffer the worst purple nurple of all time. I don¡¯t play.¡± I put my hands over my breasts. ¡°Dude, you so fight dirty. I had no idea you were that vicious.¡± He giggled. ¡°That¡¯s pretty rich coming from the girl who kicks testicles up into throats.¡± I shrugged. ¡°A girl¡¯s gotta do ¡­¡± ¡°¡­ what a girl¡¯s gotta do,¡± he finished, wiggling his pinchers around a little. I held up my hands in surrender. ¡°Fine. You¡¯ve got me. No more tickling, no more boobie pinching.¡± ¡°You surrender to my superior power. Say it.¡± ¡°I surrender to your dirty fighting tactics.¡± ¡°Good enough.¡± He dropped his hands. ¡°Were you telling the truth about Trip? About what Rob said?¡± ¡°Yes, I was. I swear.¡± ¡°And you said you¡¯re going to go get him?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to try. Rob says they¡¯re planning on coming here. I need to help them if that¡¯s what they want to do.¡± ¡°It¡¯s going to be dangerous.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I moved closer to stand in front of him. ¡°I want to come.¡± ¡°Absolutely not.¡± I put my arm around his shoulder and steered him towards the front door. ¡°You can¡¯t stop me.¡± ¡°Probably not. But I have important reasons for not wanting you to go. The group needs you here. I¡¯m going to come back with a buttload of kids, and they¡¯re going to need homes, showers, food, clothes, and everything else. There¡¯s no one I trust more to make that happen than you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a lot of trust.¡± We reached the door and I turned to face him. ¡°You¡¯ve earned it.¡± ¡°I trust you too, you know.¡± He looked at me with those adorable eyes of his, and the memory of his sister¡¯s story made my heart spasm a little. ¡°I hope I can keep deserving that,¡± I said. ¡°I know you always will. It¡¯s just who you are. Now tell me ¡­ what do I need to do to get you ready for your trip?¡± I grinned. ¡°I thought you¡¯d never ask.¡± I spent over an hour with Peter and his group discussing the plans that we¡¯d need to put in motion to prepare for the mass influx of new settlers I expected to start arriving any day. We had to set up the logistics not only for people but also animals and everything those two groups brought with them. It was a nightmare of details that I was more than glad to leave in Peter¡¯s capable hands. I probably shouldn¡¯t have been surprised, but he was already on top of things and had somehow managed to find the other OCD kids in our community to jump on all the details and scheduling with him. They were all shiny happy people on a mission when I left them to go find Bodo. I¡¯d avoided looking for him earlier because I figured he was probably out just doing his morning thing, and if he was taking extra long it was because he had a lot on his mind. But when it became obvious he was missing for a much longer period than he should have been, I knew I couldn¡¯t avoid our confrontation any longer. It was time for me to pay the piper for my serious lapse in judgment and control. I walked outside and started a tour around the exterior of the compound. It was a huge place, but something told me he¡¯d be in the spot we¡¯d talked about making into a garden. Sure enough, as I came around the corner of the building I saw him there, just standing and staring at the ground. The closer I got to him, the more nervous I became and the sicker I felt. Is this going to be the end? Is he going to tell me he doesn¡¯t love me anymore? We lived in this strange, new world where the rules of our former society didn¡¯t necessarily apply in a lot of ways. But I was pretty sure that me kissing another boy would feel the same for him, regardless. I¡¯d hurt Bodo, and I couldn¡¯t blame him if he didn¡¯t want to be with me anymore. I was going to have to live with whatever decision he made, but I hoped it would be to stay together. I couldn¡¯t imagine how awkward and painful it would be to see him every day and not be with him, or worse, to see him with another girl. Even the thought of it made me want to barf. I walked up beside him and stopped. I said nothing, hoping he¡¯d start the conversation, but after a while I couldn¡¯t wait anymore. Someone had to break the ice. ¡°Are you willing the ground to start growing things?¡± ¡°No. I am making plans in my head.¡± ¡°What kind of plans?¡± I hated how weak my voice sounded. How needy it was. I¡¯d somehow turned a conversation about vegetables into a plea for our future or something. ¡°Some plants need a lot of sun. Some need da shade. I haff to arrange da plants so dey can help each udder.¡± I nodded, not really sure what he was talking about but just grateful that he was speaking to me. ¡°Whenever you¡¯re ready for the seeds, just let me know.¡± Of course he knew this already, that all he had to do was ask, but I was trying to fill the space between us with words. The silence was so awkward it was painful. ¡°We needt water first. Enough for the peoples and the plants.¡± I nodded. ¡°Tell Peter. He¡¯ll make sure it makes it into his plans.¡± I stood there, staring at the ground with him for a while and then at the sky. It was blue as far as I could see, perfect weather for burying bodies. I was looking forward to getting that grisly task finally done. My mind eventually came back to my more immediate problem, and I took a moment to look at Bodo¡¯s profile. His face was set in a stern mask, all traces of humor and playfulness gone. He was like a different person - older, intimidating almost. He was beautiful, too. The angles of his face, high cheekbones, and strong brow hinted at his German heritage. The outline of his well-muscled chest was easily visible beneath his thin t-shirt. He¡¯d make a great partner in this new world and a great dad if he ever wanted to have kids. It made my heart ache that I probably screwed it up with him. I couldn¡¯t stand there silently anymore, or I was going to start bawling. Page 11 ¡°Are we going to talk about this, Bodo?¡± ¡°Talk about what?¡± His jaw muscle twitched in aggravation. Maybe I should have ignored it, but I figured it was better to just get things over with, whatever they might be. ¡°Us. About what I said to you last night.¡± ¡°What is there to say?¡± He shrugged, like it didn¡¯t matter, but his muscles were so tense they screamed angry boy at me. ¡°Plenty, probably. You could say I hate you, or I never want to see you again, or I think we should see other people ¡­¡± He looked at me, all seriousness, the only visible sign he was feeling emotion the flaring of his nostrils. ¡°There are other things, too.¡± ¡°Like what?¡± I felt like I was walking a high wire, ready to fall to the ground from really high up. It was dizzying and terrifying. I realized in that moment that I was more confident dealing with a hungry canner than a boyfriend with hurt feelings. He shrugged once more, looking out into the distance. ¡°I could tell you dat I luff you, no matter what you do.¡± My heart soared for a brief moment - the period of time before he finished his thought. ¡°But dat would not be entirely honest. I want it to be da truth, but it is not.¡± He looked at me again. ¡°I find dat I can luff you if you are luffing me too. But if you do not luff me, den to be with you is just the pain for me. Just the pain. My world hass enough pain for me right now, even without you. If you bring pain to me, it is too much. Too much for Bodo.¡± Tears rushed to my eyes. I looked away from him to stare at the ground, trying to get myself under control. ¡°I understand. I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to bring you pain.¡± He reached out and patted me on the shoulder, which only made me cry more. ¡°I know dat. It wass only a kiss, and you thought I was deadt. Dat¡¯s normal. I know dat.¡± I was so confused now, I didn¡¯t know what to think. I looked up at him as I wiped the tears off my face. ¡°I don¡¯t get it. Are you breaking up with me or not?¡± He smiled humorlessly, staring at me for a few long moments before looking away. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m sayingk. Dis iss a complicated life we haff, isn¡¯t it?¡± I huffed out a frustrated breath. ¡°You¡¯re not kidding.¡± ¡°No, I am not kidding. Da problem for me is dat Paci is here. If he wass in da swamp, maybe I could chust be a guy and be Mr. Bryn. But now, when I see his face, I just want to punch him very hardt. Veeeery, very hardt. Until I make him bleeding. Dat is a problem for me. Dat is a problem.¡± I nodded. ¡°Yes. You can¡¯t do that. You can¡¯t punch him in the face. But not because I¡¯m protecting him, but because it¡¯s a bad precedent to start here ¡­ physical violence I mean. We have to show everyone we can resolve our problems with talking.¡± He looked at me, smiling bitterly. ¡°Dat is an interesting plan comingk from you, Bryn.¡± He seemed mad, but I ignored that emotion and stayed as neutral as possible, even though it made me want to cry. ¡°The way I fight is designed to be defensive, not offensive. Yes, I go for the eyes or balls right off the bat, but that¡¯s only to stop the fight in its tracks. I¡¯m not a violent person.¡± ¡°No, you are not. I know dat.¡± He turned and began walking around behind me, headed towards the prison entrance. ¡°Where are you going?¡± I asked, feeling suddenly all alone and abandoned. ¡°To eat my breakfast and to get ready to transport dose bodies to da grave.¡± He didn¡¯t look back, he just kept walking. ¡°So where does this leave us?¡± I shouted at him. He threw up his arms, but said nothing. I picked up a rock and threw it as hard as I could out into the open space on the side of the building. It sailed over the weeds and finally landed about thirty yards away, quickly disappearing in the tall weeds near the back of the building. I didn¡¯t know who to be mad at, Bodo or myself. I knew I was to blame for what I did, but I also felt like I had an excuse. As soon as I started thinking of that excuse though, I felt guilty that I¡¯d kissed another boy so soon after thinking my boyfriend might be dead. There was no winning for me in this situation. ¡°Love sucks,¡± I said out into the air. I didn¡¯t receive an answer back. Not that I had expected to, but it would have been nice. As I trudged back through the sandy, weed-covered ground, I thought about my dad, imagining us doing a workout and discussing my current situation. What should I do, Dad? What¡¯s the solution to this problem? The answer didn¡¯t come to me in his voice, but it came to me nonetheless. Accept what you cannot change. Have the courage to change the things you can. Be smart enough to recognize the difference. Bodo needed time to figure out what he wanted to do about us, and we had time in spades. Now I just had to keep myself so busy, I wouldn¡¯t have a moment to think about how my heart was breaking in half. It took a group of ten kids and me about six hours, but we finally moved all the ashes and bone out of the crematorium fridge and into the pit we¡¯d dug the day before. Kids who hadn¡¯t taken part in the actual transportation of remains filled in the hole with the dirt we¡¯d kept from our excavation. Peter stood by with a clipboard. ¡°Excellent work, everyone. That looks great.¡± I walked over to him and watched as the last shovels of dirt were packed into place. The bare earth stood out in stark contrast to the heavily-weeded surroundings. I lifted the mask off my face so he could hear me better. ¡°So what¡¯s next, commander?¡± ¡°What¡¯s next is we get into that freezer and kitchen and bleach the heck out of every single surface there is.¡± He gave an exaggerated shiver. ¡°I for one will not be supervising that task.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the big? All the bodies are gone now.¡± ¡°The big is that it¡¯s probably haunted, and I¡¯m allergic to ghosts.¡± I grabbed his arm and pushed him back until we were farther away from listening ears. ¡°Don¡¯t say that, you dope!¡± I whisper-yelled. ¡°You want everyone in here afraid to go into sections of the prison because of imaginary spirits?¡± He half-frowned and half-pouted at me. ¡°No. Not necessarily.¡± ¡°No, not at all, you mean. Geez, Peter. Use your head. You¡¯re the big cheese out here. You have to hold your crap together or you¡¯ll start a friggin pandemic.¡± ¡°Do you even know what that word means?¡± ¡°Maybe not, but you get my drift. Man-up.¡± ¡°I prefer the term cowboy-up if you don¡¯t mind.¡± He lifted his chin a fraction of an inch and looked back out towards the work crew. ¡°Fine. Cowboy-up, then.¡± ¡°What¡¯s your problem, anyway?¡± he asked, turning his attention back to me. ¡°Who doodled in your Wheaties?¡± I sighed heavily. Normally I wasn¡¯t one to share my feelings or wallow in the boy-girl drama, but I was so lost on this one, I didn¡¯t see any other way to manage it. ¡°Bodo is thinking of breaking up with me, I think.¡± Peter snorted. ¡°Yeah, right.¡± ¡°I¡¯m serious. We talked this morning. He¡¯s being very cold.¡± ¡°He¡¯ll get over it. It¡¯s not a big deal. So what if you kissed a guy one time when you thought your boyfriend was dead? He needs to get over it. For serious.¡± ¡°Yeah, but it was wrong. I should have waited longer at least.¡± Peter turned to me, his face all scrunched up. ¡°Are you kidding me? What? Like you¡¯re supposed to wear widow¡¯s weeds and mourn for a year? Shoot, if we had to do that every time someone we cared about died out here, we¡¯d never not wear black.¡± ¡°Widow¡¯s weeds?¡± Peter rolled his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m going to stock some historical romances in our library so you can expand your vocabulary.¡± ¡°Weeds?¡± ¡°Yes. Weeds.¡± ¡°Weeds.¡± ¡°Stop saying weeds!¡± ¡°Weeds. That makes no sense whatsoever. Did they cover themselves in grass or what?¡± ¡°No, dipdork, weeds is the current version of the word in Old English spelled w-a-e-d-s. It just got changed to w-e-e-d-s somewhere along the way.¡± ¡°Who changed it?¡± ¡°How the heck do I know?¡± Peter turned to me, all red in the face from frustration. ¡°You¡¯re just messing with me, aren¡¯t you?¡± I smiled. ¡°Maybe a little.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you have boyfriend drama to go fret over or something?¡± I lost my good humor immediately. ¡°Thanks. Yeah, for a second there I forgot how miserable I was. My bad.¡± I turned to go, but Peter caught me by my arm and pulled me back. ¡°Sorry. That was poopy of me. I¡¯m a jerk. Come to papa.¡± He dropped his clipboard to the ground and grabbed me in a hug, patting me on the back. ¡°Everything¡¯s going to be fine. Either that stupid German goofball is going to wake up and realize his jawbreaker candy is still the only sweetness in town, or he¡¯ll walk away and try to find happiness with someone less worthy. And if that happens, well, we¡¯ll just wish him good luck and move on.¡± I smiled over Peter¡¯s shoulder, adding, ¡°And we¡¯ll maybe eye gouge him once.¡± ¡°And that, too.¡± Peter drew away and looked me in the eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t forget that Paci is standing on the sidelines, just waiting for his chance. He¡¯s prime beef, too. I mean, Bodo¡¯s no slouch, don¡¯t get me wrong, but Paci ¡­¡± His eyes took on a dreamy look. ¡°He reminds me a little of Trip, actually.¡± I kissed Peter quickly on the cheek before stepping away. ¡°Keep your thoughts clean, Peter. Trust me, you don¡¯t want to be confessing to your boyfriend that you were lusting after someone else while he was temporarily out of the picture. The guilt isn¡¯t worth it.¡± Peter blinked a few times rapidly before coming back to earth. ¡°You¡¯re right. Even though I can do whatever the H-E-double hockey sticks I want right now since Trip passed up his chance. But I get your meaning. Besides, Paci isn¡¯t my kind of guy.¡± ¡°Meaning he likes hoo-hoos and not ding-a-lings.¡± ¡°Yes. Ever so eloquent, as usual, Bryn. Thank you for that reality check.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mention it.¡± ¡°By the way, speaking of the-boy-in-the-swamp-who-shall-not-be-named¡­¡± ¡°Do you mean Trip?¡± Peter rolled his eyes. ¡°Yes. I mean Trip. When are you planning on going there?¡± ¡°Is four days too soon?¡± I kind of said it as a joke, but as soon as the words left my lips, I thought, Why not? No reason for me to hang around here now that the bodies are buried and my boyfriend thinks I suck. ¡°Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much work we have to accomplish before everyone gets here?¡± He took off at a rapid clip, walking so fast it made his butt wiggle in an exaggerated fashion. I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Slow down before you throw a hip out of joint!¡± I yelled after him. ¡°No time! I have to get the plans together!¡± And then he was gone. I could see him through the glass in the lobby, scampering over to talk to his planning group. His hands were fluttering around his face as he explained their predicament and soon the whole group was up and moving around. I didn¡¯t hear Paci come up until he was standing right next to me. ¡°Looks like you got him all excited. What did you say?¡± I was instantly nervous and sweating, wondering if Bodo was watching us, worried I¡¯d do something innocent that would come off as bad or cheater-like. I kept my eyes on the lobby, not looking at Paci. ¡°I told him I wanted to leave in four days to go get the kids in Kahayatle.¡± Page 12 ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°Yes. I don¡¯t see any reason for me to stick around here right now. The remains are in the pit, and Peter has all the planning for the community started. He can handle things from here, and I trust Derek to keep the place standing while I¡¯m gone.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know him at all. You think we can trust him?¡± ¡°Yes, I do. Him and the people he brought with him. The only one I¡¯ve ever had a problem with was that girl, Gail.¡± ¡°Yeah. I hear ya. She was ¡­ different.¡± I looked at him, drawn away from my attempts at seeming nonchalant by his tone. ¡°Different? Different how?¡± ¡°Different in that she had a chip on her shoulder, like all the time. And she said things that made her seem really harsh. Like she didn¡¯t entirely blame the canners for doing what they do. At least in theory.¡± ¡°You think she¡¯s a canner?¡± The very idea made me sick. That plus my nervousness at having Paci so close was adding up to severe heartburn. My chest was on fire. ¡°No. I wouldn¡¯t have let her travel with me if I had. But I think she¡¯d be easy for them to recruit, especially now that she¡¯s been rejected by our group.¡± ¡°She wasn¡¯t exactly rejected.¡± I felt guilty about that, turning a person away in this world. What kind of jerk am I? I pretty much either turned her into dinner or added to the canner army. ¡°Yeah, she was rejected. But for good reason.¡± He put his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. ¡°You¡¯re a leader now. You have to make tough decisions that are going to haunt you if you let them. Kowi always said that he had to do what was necessary and then walk away. Regret is too heavy a burden for a chief.¡± ¡°I¡¯m no chief,¡± I said, almost bitterly. I didn¡¯t want to be in charge; I just wanted to live my life in peace. It pissed me off that a peaceful life was just a dream - a fantasy that would probably never come true for me or any of the others here. ¡°Sure you are. You may not call yourself that, but that¡¯s how everyone here views you. Don¡¯t look so down about it, though. You¡¯re a natural. Leadership looks good on you.¡± I looked up to his brilliant smile. He didn¡¯t give them very often, more likely to remain stoic than anything else. I was struck by how it transformed his face. He was already gorgeous, but a smile made him beautiful. ¡°What?¡± he asked, his smile slipping. ¡°Do I have something in my teeth?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, punching him lightly in the chest. ¡°I was just thinking ¡­ never mind.¡± I started walking away, but was stopped when he grabbed my hand and tugged me back. ¡°You were thinking what?¡± I pulled my hand away. ¡°I was thinking that I shouldn¡¯t be out here talking to you like this.¡± He frowned. ¡°Really? No. That¡¯s not what you were going to say.¡± I changed tack, knowing he¡¯d keep bugging me until I fessed up. Paci was nothing if not persistent. ¡°I talked to Bodo last night and this morning.¡± ¡°Soooo, how does that figure into what we were just talking about?¡± ¡°I told him about us ¡­ about what we did.¡± ¡°What¡¯d you do that for?¡± Paci seemed totally mystified. ¡°Because! It was the right thing to do!¡± ¡°All you¡¯re going to do is hurt him with that story. You should have just left it alone.¡± ¡°No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for the relationship tips. Not that they help me now since I¡¯ve already blown it.¡± Paci was back to grinning now. ¡°Feisty, aren¡¯t we? So what¡¯d he say?¡± ¡°Not much. I¡¯m pretty much counting on him dumping my ass.¡± ¡°And you¡¯re sad about that?¡± ¡°Of course I¡¯m sad. I love him, Paci. You know that.¡± ¡°I do. I know that. Don¡¯t get mad at me. I¡¯m just ¡­ you know, what you did with me wasn¡¯t that bad.¡± ¡°How so? I kissed another guy. That¡¯s bad in anyone¡¯s book.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not what happened. What happened is, you thought your boyfriend was dead, and all the evidence suggested he was dead, so you kissed a boy who threw himself at you. Once. That¡¯s nothing to lose a relationship over.¡± ¡°Says you.¡± ¡°Says anyone with a brain. Says anyone who really loves you.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± He shrugged. ¡°It means that if you were my girl and you thought I was dead and kissed Bodo once or even a couple times, I¡¯d forgive you. A justified kiss is a stupid thing to destroy a relationship over, especially with a girl like you.¡± His explanation floored me. Part of me wanted to stand up and yell, Yeah, Bodo! What he said! and another part of me wanted to curl up and cry my eyes out. Is Paci right? Is Bodo¡¯s love for me so shallow that it can¡¯t weather even the smallest storm? I was so confused, I didn¡¯t know which end was up. ¡°I gotta get out of here,¡± I said, walking away quickly, lost in my miserable thoughts. ¡°I¡¯m coming with you. To Kahayatle.¡± ¡°I know!¡± I said, yelling but not looking back. Talk about a complication. I was about to head out into the badlands with a gorgeous guy who was crushing on me and not afraid to show it, while the love of my life was giving me the cold shoulder. This was making my former high school life seem like a piece of cake in comparison. Peter had us packed and ready to go by first light, five days later. I¡¯d hand-picked my team with care, selecting kids I knew I could trust and who had the skills to hold their own against canners and whatever nightmares we¡¯d probably encounter on our trip. I had a private meeting with Derek, who assured me he¡¯d hold the fort down and work with Peter until my return. Flick stood as his second in command, anxious about getting as much of Peter¡¯s planning done before we got back. I felt really good about leaving Haven in their hands. Fohi got left behind along with Yokci, who promised to take care of the feisty Little Bee. Even though his wounds had not yet healed, and he was barely strong enough to stand for longer than thirty seconds at a time, Fohi kept insisting up until the minute we walked out the door that he was coming with us. ¡°What are you going to do about any demolitions work you might need? I¡¯m the expert, you know. I¡¯m in charge of that.¡± Fohi was standing up with his arms crossed in front of him, trying to act like his legs weren¡¯t shaking with the effort. I might have taken him seriously regardless of the tremors if he hadn¡¯t been standing there with Fuzzybeans balanced on one shoulder and Freak-the-Cat on the other. Something about fuzzy kittens as shoulder ornaments took all the seriousness out of what he was saying. ¡°Dude, that kitten is giving you a shoulder massage,¡± said Rob, laughing at how Fuzzybeans was kneading the material on Fohi¡¯s shoulder with a singular focus. It was like she was in a trance. Fohi reached up and fluttered his fingers in her face, easily distracting her and starting her on a new course of play - the attack Fohi¡¯s finger game. ¡°Cut it out, Fuzzybeans. Daddy¡¯s being serious right now. Play later.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t take you, Fohi. Peter needs your help here. As demo expert, it¡¯s your job to guide the teams who will be building your traps.¡± ¡°My traps?¡± His fingers stilled, making them easy prey for the kitten. She reached out and grabbed one with her claws, bringing it to her mouth for a bite. Fohi didn¡¯t even feel it, he was so focused on my response. ¡°Yes. Peter¡¯s going to sit with you and discuss them today. Or tomorrow. He¡¯s sending over paper so you can sketch out your designs.¡± Fohi chewed on his lower lip for a few seconds. ¡°You serious?¡± ¡°Yes. As a heart attack.¡± Or as serious as a cut in the gut, like you have, dope. I pushed the kitty to the side a little and put my hand on his shoulder like my dad used to do to me when he was talking heart-to-heart serious. ¡°So handle that for me while I¡¯m gone, would ya?¡± ¡°Yeah, no problem, Bryn. You can count on me, you know that. Like for whatever. Demolitions, traps, managing the armory.¡± ¡°Armory?¡± I asked, my hand sliding from his shoulder. ¡°Yeah. You know, where all the guns and bullets are kept?¡± ¡°Yeaaah, okay ...¡± Rob was standing behind Fohi, waving like mad and making a cutting motion across his own neck. Fohi turned around when he noticed I wasn¡¯t focused on him anymore and caught Rob in the act. He twisted around to punch him, swinging and missing. ¡°Shut up, dicksack! I¡¯m in charge of the armory, you heard her!¡± He was out of breath from the effort of trying to get to Rob, but gamely stayed on his feet. I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Yeah, Rob. You dicksack. Fohi¡¯s in charge of the armory.¡± Rob had danced out of his friend¡¯s way and was still bouncing on his toes a little. ¡°Whatever you say, boss. It¡¯s all on you though when he blows the whole place to the moon.¡± I looked at Fohi through new eyes. ¡°You¡¯re not going to do anything stupid, are you?¡± He frowned at me like I was crazy. ¡°Whaaat? You can¡¯t be talking to me. I never do anything crazy. I¡¯m totally serious. You can count on me, I already told you.¡± I didn¡¯t bother reminding him about the pit of sharpened sticks we¡¯d both almost died in - the pit that had given me a permanent scar down my leg. He would have wondered how that applied in this situation, being that he was Fohi and mostly clueless. ¡°Just be careful, would ya? I don¡¯t want you overdoing it with your injuries. Just rest and help Peter do your stuff, okay?¡± ¡°Yeah, okay sure. I¡¯ll do that and manage the armory, no sweat. I¡¯m on it. You can count on me. Like I said.¡± Winky came walking up. ¡°You ready to go?¡± She had a big backpack over her shoulder and was wrestling with it to get it on the rest of the way. I helped lift it up onto her other arm. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m ready. What about the others?¡± ¡°Just waiting for you.¡± I stepped out of the alcove and saw them all by the gate. Bodo and Paci were as far away from each other as they could be without looking painfully obvious about hating each other. Rob hurried past Winky and me to join Paci, throwing his backpack on as he ran out the door. ¡°You seriously ready to do this?¡± I asked her as we walked over to join our group. ¡°Hell yeah, I¡¯m ready. I can¡¯t wait to get my loom and have it set up in there. Peter has a weaving room all planned for us.¡± I laughed. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re happy about weaving.¡± It was funny to me to think about my berserker fighter friend at the very passive loom, just passing the thread back and forth all day. ¡°You should try it sometime. It¡¯s very calming. I¡¯m going to do some crochet too this summer.¡± ¡°Crochet?¡± It was like a foreign concept to me, from another planet, even. ¡°Isn¡¯t that what old grannies do?¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s a hobby good for all ages. And what¡¯s better than a fuzzy, crocheted blanket to warm your toes in winter?¡± ¡°Uh ¡­ an electric blanket?¡± She smacked me lightly on the arm. ¡°No. Don¡¯t even go there.¡± We got to the gate and waited as Peter unlocked it for us. Everyone passed through, wheeling bikes by their sides, leaving me to go last. Ronald wheeled my bike for me and passed it to me at the gate. ¡°Go with God, Bryn,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll go with anyone or anything that will help me. Thank you.¡± I accepted his hug and watched as he walked back to the lobby, joining his brother, Gretchen, and Bianca at the window. They all waved, worried looks on their faces. I hadn¡¯t let them come, even though they¡¯d volunteered. None of them were trained to fight yet, and the girls were still too weak. Jenny was on a blanket behind them, sitting up, also waving at me. Page 13 I waved back for a second, feeling a little sick about leaving all these kids behind - kids who couldn¡¯t fight well enough to protect themselves if they were viciously attacked. Fohi¡¯s excitement about demolitions and traps didn¡¯t feel quite so crazy to me right now. Peter and I faced one another in the entrance. It felt especially wrong to leave him without my protection. I broke out in a cold sweat imagining a group of canners coming here and hurting him while I was gone. All the guns in the armory wouldn¡¯t protect them against a sneak attack. ¡°You be careful out there,¡± he said, tears in his eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if something happened to you. You¡¯re my soul-sister.¡± ¡°I know. You¡¯re my soul-brother. I¡¯ll be okay, I promise. But if something does happen to me, I want you to know that I¡¯ll be up there,¡± I pointed to the sky, ¡°haunting you and making sure you¡¯re okay.¡± He smiled through his tears. ¡°You know I don¡¯t like ghosts.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll like my ghost. I¡¯ll sing songs to you and stuff.¡± ¡°Gah, please don¡¯t,¡± he said, wiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. ¡°Seriously. You¡¯re totally tone deaf. It¡¯ll scare me and make me pee.¡± I ignored his insult, since I knew for a fact that I had a good voice. I pulled him into a hug. ¡°Be good while I¡¯m gone. I¡¯ll do everything I can to bring your man back to you.¡± Peter snorted over my shoulder. ¡°Whatever. Let me go so I can give you my list.¡± I released him from my embrace. ¡°What list?¡± I¡¯d seen the mountain of them he¡¯d already made. I had no idea what I¡¯d need a list for on this journey, though. Maybe he was going to give me step-by-step instructions on how to rescue kids from a swamp without getting caught. That would be a handy list to have. ¡°This list,¡± he said, handing me a folded up piece of paper. I opened it. There were at least fifty items on it. I started reading out loud. ¡°Looms, solar bread oven ¡­¡± I skipped down several items and continued. ¡°¡­ cows, horses, goats ¡­¡± I looked back up at him, mostly stunned. ¡°Don¡¯t give me that look.¡± ¡°What look? The you-must-be-effing-kidding-me look?¡± ¡°Yes. That one.¡± I turned partway around to show him my backpack, jerking my thumb at it over my shoulder. ¡°Dude, you see that? It¡¯s called a backpack. There¡¯s not a single thing on this list that will fit in there.¡± ¡°I know that. I don¡¯t expect you to do that. The loom alone probably weighs fifty pounds.¡± ¡°Well, what exactly do you expect me to do then? Find a semi?¡± ¡°Sure, that would work.¡± He grinned at me. ¡°Boy, you done lost your mind.¡± I tapped him lightly on the cheek. ¡°But you¡¯re cute. You get points for that.¡± I tried to give him the list back, but he refused to take it. ¡°Just do what you can,¡± he said, grabbing onto the fence. ¡°And don¡¯t get shot or worse.¡± Neither of us said the word that he was thinking: eaten. ¡°I¡¯ll do everything I can not to, I promise.¡± ¡°Good. I¡¯ll see you in what ¡­? A week?¡± ¡°Or less. Keep your eyes peeled for canners. Shoot anyone who gives you any crap.¡± ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± He gave me a salute. He tried to smile after, but his lips trembled. ¡°Just ¡­ be safe.¡± I stepped outside the fence, wheeling my bike. I put the kickstand down so I could help him push the gate on its tracks until it was completely closed. He turned the key, and the heavy clanking of the lock mechanism felt like the sealing of my fate. I was no longer on the inside of Haven looking out; I was on the outside of my safe-haven looking out towards a very scary near-future. I climbed up on the big-butt-seat bike and pedaled rapidly to catch up to my friends. They¡¯d already made it fifty yards away, none of them as maudlin as me with their goodbyes. As far as they were concerned we were on a quick mission that would be somewhat easily accomplished. I wished I could be as confident as they were. ¡°I assume we¡¯re taking the highway,¡± said Rob. ¡°Yeah. Unless you guys have a better idea,¡± I responded. The rhythmic clicks of our bike pedals and gears made it easy for my mind to wander. I¡¯d been trying to picture a way to get all that junk on Peter¡¯s list back to Haven and had been coming up empty. ¡°Nah. Highway¡¯s good. I don¡¯t know the backroads anyway, and my GPS is on the blink.¡± Rob tapped a plastic headlight on the front of his bike, grinning. ¡°Remember GPS?¡± asked Winky. She sighed in forgotten pleasure. ¡°Life used to be so easy. I never appreciated stuff like that when I had it.¡± I expected Bodo to chime in, but he remained silent. He hadn¡¯t said a word since we¡¯d spoken in the garden spot, except to answer questions asked directly of him by Rob and Winky. It was worse than awkward; it was painful. It was like his spark had died out, and I¡¯d never fully appreciated how nice that spark was until it wasn¡¯t there anymore. Now he seemed like just a sullen guy with an accent and a good body - a stranger. ¡°So what¡¯s the plan?¡± asked Paci. ¡°I know you can¡¯t know everything we¡¯re going to have to deal with, but I¡¯d like to have rough idea of what we¡¯re doing.¡± ¡°Well, Peter gave me a wish list of things he¡¯d like us to bring back, along with all the people who want to come, but I¡¯m not sure if any of it is possible.¡± ¡°What¡¯s on it?¡± Rob asked. I laughed, kind of bitterly. ¡°Looms, horses, goats, ovens¡­¡± ¡°Sounds reasonable,¡± said Paci I looked at him to see if he was kidding, but his expression was totally serious. ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re going to need that stuff if we¡¯re going to have a life in Haven,¡± agreed Winky. ¡°Uhhhh, yeah. Whatever.¡± Apparently my friends were living in an alternate dimension where we still had UPS delivery service and vehicles of our own to move things. ¡°I am very strong, but I don¡¯t know dat I can carry an oven on my beck,¡± said Bodo, still facing forward. ¡°Obviously, none of us can do that,¡± said Paci. ¡°We¡¯re not suggesting that at all.¡± ¡°We need to get some trucks or something,¡± said Rob. ¡°Convoy everything. People included.¡± ¡°Is that even possible?¡± I asked, warming to the idea of a much faster trip than we were capable of making on bikes. ¡°Why not?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Don¡¯t you drive?¡± ¡°Of course I drive. But where are we going to get these trucks?¡± ¡°We have trucks,¡± said Rob mysteriously. ¡°You leave that up to me and Paci.¡± ¡°But I need you guys to help fight if necessary,¡± I said. ¡°No one¡¯s going to get any trucks until all the fighting is done,¡± said Paci. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We¡¯ve got your back.¡± Bodo pedaled faster, pulling ahead of us. ¡°What¡¯s his problem?¡± asked Rob quietly. He dropped back to ride next to me. ¡°You piss him off about something?¡± ¡°You could say that.¡± I wasn¡¯t about to give any more details. It was humiliating enough having Bodo know them, and I hated being in the middle of boy-girl drama. ¡°He¡¯ll get over it,¡± said Winky. ¡°I don¡¯t think you can keep Bodo down for long.¡± I didn¡¯t want to argue with her, but he¡¯d done a pretty good job of staying depressed so far. I wasn¡¯t so sure he¡¯d bounce back as fast as she was suggesting. The kiss with Paci along with the loss of his hawk, Nina, had maybe been too much for him to deal with. I was afraid it would be a while before he was his normal self. Maybe he¡¯d never be the old carefree, silly Bodo with me again. The very idea made me super sad. This world could get very dark and depressing. Goofiness was a much needed release, both for the one goofing off and the ones being entertained by it. And Bodo was a very entertaining guy when he wanted to be. I let the subject drop, and we all went silent. I was worried any canners that might be waking up in the nearby towns might be headed to the highway, and I didn¡¯t want them hearing us before we heard them. As we drew past another entrance ramp, I noticed something off about the cars along the highway. The way they were arranged was different or something. It made me uneasy. ¡°What the hell happened here?¡± asked Rob, gesturing to a vehicle parked in front of us. We pulled up closer to it and stopped, all of us frowning as we tried to figure out what the hell had happened to it. ¡°It looks like it¡¯s been in one of those smash-em-up derbies,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s been slammed on all four sides,¡± said Paci, getting off his bike and walking around it. He looked up and down the highway. ¡°There¡¯s nothing out here that looks like it did this.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± asked Winky, looking around in confusion. ¡°I mean, something smashed this car into a crumpled up box, but that something, whatever it is, isn¡¯t here. It would be all smashed too, right? Like another car in the derby?¡± He turned to face north. ¡°And look.¡± He pointed towards our future path. ¡°There¡¯s a clear strip right down the center of the highway.¡± Sure enough, he was right. The highway had a single cleared lane right down the center, and all kinds of smashed-up cars were angled off to the sides of it, as if they¡¯d been pushed there by a giant beast mowing through. ¡°It¡¯s still leaking oil,¡± said Paci, on his knees, staring under the car. ¡°This happened recently.¡± ¡°Something came down the middle of this highway like a friggin¡¯ snowplow and moved everything out of the way,¡± said Rob, his voice going soft. I wasn¡¯t sure what my friends thought, but I was suddenly very uneasy about this turn of events. I¡¯d never seen anything like this before, and this was my third time on post-apocalyptic I-95. ¡°What does dis mean?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°Only thing that could have done that would be a big truck or maybe a tank,¡± said Paci. My blood ran cold, and my words came out sounding strangled. ¡°A tank?¡± ¡°Nah, it¡¯s not a damn tank,¡± scoffed Rob. ¡°A tank would run right over the top of a car, not push it to the side. You¡¯re looking at a big old truck. One-ton or bigger. Maybe an all-terrain modified baby or even a semi.¡± ¡°Whatever it is, it¡¯s going to be a monster,¡± said Paci. ¡°And not bike-friendly,¡± added Winky. We all looked at each other in silence. I finally couldn¡¯t take it anymore; I had to say something. ¡°So what does this mean? Should we get off the highway?¡± ¡°No,¡± said Paci, shaking his head. ¡°It will take us too long to reach Kahayatle, and I don¡¯t want this monster getting too close to our land before we do.¡± ¡°I agree. I vote no, we stay on the highway,¡± said Rob. ¡°Me also,¡± agreed Bodo, getting back up on his bike seat. ¡°I vote we pedal our buns off until we get to Kahayatle,¡± suggested Winky. ¡°Maybe we can beat this thing, whatever is, before it gets to our house. Or before the owners of it wake up to plow some more cars down.¡± I didn¡¯t need to hear anything else. ¡°Let¡¯s ride,¡± I said, putting renewed energy into my pedaling. Within minutes I was sweating and huffing, but I kept going, fearing that our Miccosukee and Creek friends were in danger from some unknown monster-truck owner. Chapter Four WE WERE ALMOST TO THE turnoff for Kahayatle when the unmistakeable sound of a diesel engine reached our ears. Page 14 I stopped pedaling abruptly, squeezing my brakes so hard, my tires slid on the pavement. Not expecting me to stop, Winky crashed into the back of me, sending both of us to the blacktop in a pile of bike parts and limbs. ¡°Dammit, Winky!¡± I yelled, sitting up and trying to untangle my legs from my bike. I had a skinned elbow now and at least a bruise on my knee. I stood and moved my leg around a little, checking to see if it would affect my fighting abilities. I was relieved to find it was okay. ¡°Dammit, Winky? What about dammit, Bryn? You¡¯re the one who stopped without any warning.¡± Winky had gotten up and was brushing herself off. ¡°I have a tear in my boot now, thanks to you.¡± ¡°Thanks to you riding too close,¡± I mumbled. ¡°Shush. Do you guys hear that?¡± asked Rob. ¡°Dat¡¯s a truck,¡± said Bodo, straddling his bike and walking it over to us. ¡°That¡¯s a big truck,¡± said Paci. ¡°Really big.¡± ¡°Can you tell what kind?¡± I asked Rob. ¡°Big.¡± He looked at me, all serious now. ¡°Does it matter what kind? It¡¯s friggin¡¯ big. That¡¯s all I need to know.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Yeah, it matters. Is it a big pickup or a semi? With a trailer or without?¡± ¡°What are you thinking?¡± asked Winky, leaving her bike to stand by me. Now I was excited and not as afraid. ¡°I¡¯m thinking if it¡¯s a semi with a trailer, we can use it to haul stuff! We wouldn¡¯t need much gas to get to Haven.¡± The images were building in my mind - me at the wheel of a giant truck with everything we¡¯d need to support our community riding behind me in a big fat trailer. This engine sound we were hearing felt like good news. I could totally envision us off-loading a loom from a tractor trailer and Peter jumping up and down while squealing like a girl. I so wanted to make my little buddy happy. He was working so hard to make all of us comfortable, he deserved it. ¡°Do you know how to drive one of those?¡± asked Winky. She sounded impressed. ¡°No, but how hard can it be? I can drive a stick.¡± Bodo laughed. ¡°Dat¡¯s funny.¡± I frowned at him. Now he was finally kind of talking, but it was only to mock me. ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± ¡°Dat you think drivingk a big truck will be easy. Do you know dey have ten gears or more? Maybe twenty.¡± ¡°What? That¡¯s nuts. Why not just five like a car?¡± I asked. Bodo just rolled his eyes. It made me want to slap him. ¡°It¡¯s bigger than a car. More weight. It needs more gears for that,¡± said Paci, frowning at Bodo. He apparently didn¡¯t approve of Bodo¡¯s attitude any more than I did. I was glad to see I wasn¡¯t the only one thinking my boyfriend was acting out of line. ¡°Whatever. Five gears or fifty, I¡¯m sure it works the same way,¡± said Winky. ¡°We could figure it out. We¡¯re women.¡± She winked at me. ¡°Yeah. Girl power.¡± I got back on my seat, pushing Bodo¡¯s idiocy to the back of my mind. ¡°Let¡¯s go see what¡¯s going on.¡± ¡°Shouldn¡¯t we be a little stealth about it?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Yeah. Let¡¯s ride over on the shoulder until we catch a glimpse of it and then decide what to do.¡± Everyone started pedaling again, and we made it another hundred yards before the hulking figure of a semi with a big trailer at the back of it came into view. It was sitting in the middle of the highway, a trail of pushed cars to either side of its former path, its engine purring away. We got off our bikes and laid them down. ¡°Now what?¡± asked Rob, staring at the truck. ¡°Now we sneak up on the driver and see what he¡¯s all about.¡± I grabbed my weapon and moved down into the ditch on the side of the road. It wasn¡¯t very deep, and if the guy driving bothered to look in our direction he¡¯d probably be able to see us without any problem. It was for that reason that we all carried a gun in the backs of our pants. When we were about fifty yards back, we shifted our course so that we¡¯d be behind a bunch of high, scruffy bushes when we got even with the truck. ¡°Can you see anything yet?¡± asked Winky, coming up behind me. I had stopped and was looking through the bushes, wishing I had eagle eyes. ¡°I need some binoculars or something. I can¡¯t see crap from here.¡± There was no movement coming from the cab and no people were visible. ¡°Your wish is my command,¡± said Rob, handing me a pair of mini field glasses. ¡°What the hell?¡± I took them from him, waiting for an explanation. Rob shrugged. ¡°Peter. He put them in my bag. He said I¡¯m the tallest, so the most likely to get the best use out of them.¡± I shook my head. ¡°That boy scares me sometimes with his efficiency.¡± ¡°For serious,¡± said Winky. ¡°But I¡¯m glad for it. Especially on this trip.¡± I turned to the truck again, raising the glasses to my eyes. At first I saw nothing. But then a movement near the front of the truck caught my attention. ¡°I see someone,¡± I whispered, excitedly. ¡°Who? Is it anyone we know?¡± asked Winky. ¡°No. No one I know at least. And he¡¯s wearing regular clothes, so I don¡¯t think he¡¯s from a tribe.¡± I watched as the guy, about my age from the look of him but much bigger, climbed up into the cab of the truck. ¡°What¡¯s he doing?¡± asked Rob. ¡°He just got into the truck.¡± The engine revved a few times and the truck jerked forward. ¡°He¡¯s driving it again!¡± I pulled the binoculars away from my face. ¡°Should we stop him?¡± ¡°Hell yeah, we should stop him!¡± said Rob, already moving to leave the cover of the bushes. ¡°Wait!¡± Bodo said. ¡°We needt a plan. Don¡¯t go out dare and get shot.¡± ¡°Okay, fine, what¡¯s the plan?¡± Rob was practically jumping up and down, raring to go after the guy. ¡°Two of us on the right side, three on the left,¡± I said, trying to remember what George¡¯s journal said about attacking a moving enemy from behind. ¡°Expect gunfire. Stay behind the truck or as close to it as you can. I don¡¯t think his side mirrors will catch you if you stay low or directly behind the back of the trailer.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s hope not,¡± said Paci. ¡°Who¡¯s on the right and who¡¯s on the left?¡± ¡°I¡¯m on the left with Bodo and Rob. You and Winky on the right.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the goal?¡± asked Winky. ¡°You want to take him out?¡± ¡°No. No one takes anyone out. He could be a really good guy. Assume he¡¯s bad until we know otherwise, but don¡¯t shoot unless he shoots first, okay?¡± I looked around and made sure I had everyone¡¯s assent. There was no time for any more discussion. The truck was moving forward again and though it was slowed by its car bashing, it wasn¡¯t stopping. My friends nodded, and we all put our hands up for a team high-five. The sound of our hands smacking together was drowned out by the revving of the diesel engine nearby. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I said, a little louder than I¡¯d meant to. But I didn¡¯t worry because there was no way the driver could hear us. His engine was whining out really high, and the banging noises coming from the jerking cab section were probably too distracting. Whoever this guy was, he definitely wasn¡¯t a trained truck driver. We ran as fast as we could down the side of the road until we were nearly parallel with the truck. Then we angled in sharply to get behind the trailer. Bodo and Rob came with me and hung out at the back left corner of the trailer. Winky and Paci went to the right tail light. We jogged slowly, easily keeping pace with the jerking truck, but I knew it was only a matter of time before it picked up speed and left us behind. I was staring at the back of the trailer doors, trying to see a way to jump up and hold onto it in case we weren¡¯t able to get to the cab in time, when a terrifying scream came from inside. ¡°Holy crap, did you hear that?¡± asked Rob in a high-pitched and breathless voice. The truck was picking up speed, which made running up to the cab area no longer an option. Cars were being knocked away, and some of them scraped the side of the truck as it went by. We risked getting smooshed if we tried to run alongside. ¡°We need to get up on there!¡± I yelled, looking left and right at my friends running next to me. All of us surged forward, grabbing onto different parts of the truck¡¯s back end. I was able to get a grip first on a metal step affixed to the back of the bumper and then on a vertical bar that ran down the length of the doors. Once I pulled myself up on the step, I could hold onto the big latch that held the doors shut. When I had a good hold on it and my feet were firmly planted, I dropped my free hand down, reaching out for Winky. We grabbed each other¡¯s wrists, and I hauled her towards me. For one terrifying moment, Winky was hanging free with only me holding her aloft. I grunted with the effort, worried I¡¯d drop her to the pavement and at the very least give her a serious road rash. But just when I thought I would lose her, she found the ledge my feet were resting on and steadied herself, grabbing hold of another metal bar running down from the top of the door. I let go of her wrist when I knew she no longer needed me. Now it was just the two of us on the back, the guys still trying to grab onto something. Paci got up next, using a tail light and a door hinge, but Bodo and Rob weren¡¯t able to find an available spot. ¡°What should we do?!¡± shouted Rob, dropping back a little. ¡°Try to follow us!¡± I yelled. I couldn¡¯t worry about them now. We had to get into that cab and stop this truck. Another scream rent the air. Whoever was in the back of this trailer was either in pain or very afraid - maybe both. It gave me goosebumps as it trailed off into a weird keening. I turned to face Winky. ¡°I¡¯m going to climb up over the top and get into the cab.¡± ¡°What?! Are you nuts?! You¡¯ll die! You¡¯ll fall and die! You¡¯re not a stuntwoman, Bryn!¡± She sounded angry. ¡°He¡¯s not going fast enough for me to fall,¡± I said, not waiting for her approval. Stuntwoman or not, I had to do this. I was fixated not only on stopping that terrible moaning coming from inside, but also using this bad boy to transport goods for Haven. I was betting I could even put cows in it. We were so going to be on easy street, if only I could pull a Bruce Willis and kick the driver¡¯s head in. I stretched my foot up and rested it on the latch where my hand had been. Now I was holding another vertical bar, similar to the one Winky had, but on the other door. ¡°I¡¯m coming too,¡± she said. I looked down and saw her measuring her options. ¡°No!¡± I yelled, sounding angrier than I was. I was panicking, thinking of her falling off. ¡°Just wait. I¡¯ll get up there and stop him and then you can open these doors.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a kid in there,¡± she said, obviously as sick about it as I was. ¡°Yeah, I know. I don¡¯t even want to know why. I don¡¯t think it can be any good.¡± I was huffing my breaths out with the effort of holding on. The bar I had a grip on was thin, and my knuckles were getting bruised being jammed in between it and the big door. ¡°Me neither. It¡¯s going to be awful.¡± She raised her voice. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, whoever¡¯s in there! We¡¯re going to get you out!¡± The moaning stopped. ¡°What are we doing?¡± asked Paci. He was holding onto the corner of the back of the trailer for dear life, his knuckles white he was gripping the metal hinge so tightly. ¡°I¡¯m going up. Get ready to jump off this thing and punch the driver¡¯s face off.¡± Page 15 ¡°I thought we were going to assume he was a good guy.¡± ¡°That went out the window when I heard that scream.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s there?¡± came a voice from inside the trailer. It was someone half-talking and half-crying. ¡°We¡¯re friends. We¡¯re going to get you out,¡± said Winky. I used my upper body strength to heft myself up about four feet, my feet scrabbling around until they both found the latch that held the doors closed. I balanced on my toes, my arms stretched out high above me, holding onto a bar that ran near the top of the trailer. ¡°You have to stop the truck!¡± came the voice from inside. It was a girl. ¡°Before we get there!¡± ¡°Get where?¡± asked Winky. I lifted myself up again, shifting my feet to a small bracket that held the vertical bars upright on the back of the door. It was less than an inch of metal for my entire bodyweight, and the arch of my foot was cramping from the effort almost immediately. ¡°To the exchange! To the exchange!¡± I¡¯d heard enough. The fear alone in her voice told me that this truck had to stop and the driver had to be taken down. I lifted my foot almost up to my chest, searching for something to hook it on so I could get higher. ¡°Be careful!¡± yelled Paci. And then I felt his hand on my lower foot. ¡°I¡¯m right here, below you! Use my hand if you need to!¡± ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I grunted out. I could see the top of the trailer and was almost ready to grab it when the truck jerked especially hard. ¡°Aahhh!¡± I screamed, as my foot slipped off the bracket and left me dangling free. I kicked for a few seconds, trying to get my body back against the trailer. My fingers were slipping and my back was on fire as my muscles strained to keep me from falling. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the pavement going by a lot faster than it had been before. The jerking had apparently been him shifting so he could increase his speed. ¡°Dammit!¡± I was getting desperate, unable to get a foothold. Paci grabbed my ankle. ¡°Step here! Push!¡± The warmth coming from his hand and up into my moccasin instantly gave me a small measure of peace. I can do this. Firm grip. Solid core. Pull-up motion. Go! I tensed my biceps and shoulder muscles, slowly drawing my entire body up towards my hands. I walked my feet up the trailer doors, ignoring the swaying of the truck and the jerking motions, letting them flow right through me. I was one with the machine. A flea on a dog¡¯s back. No way was this canner asshole going to shake me loose. I wasn¡¯t sure he was a canner, but it inspired me to concentrate, thinking of him that way. My right foot found another bracket. I lifted my left foot over my head so I was almost doing a split on the back of the trailer. Turning my toes around just a bit allowed me to hook them over the top. ¡°Be careful, Bryn!¡± shouted Winky. ¡°You¡¯re going to fall!¡± No I¡¯m not. I couldn¡¯t say it out loud because I had to use every ounce of energy I had into getting my arm up to join my foot. Using the vertical bar and the top of the trailer as my leverage, I slowly pushed and pulled myself up. I walked my hands up the bar, gripping it with everything I had. My hands were trembling with the effort of not letting go. As my entire leg finally got over the top of the trailer and my arm joined it, I felt the danger lessening. I used my other hand that was still down on the back of the trailer to push the rest of my body up. Now I was lying on my stomach, balanced on the edge of the back of the truck, looking down at my friends. ¡°What are you going to do?¡± said Winky, sounding a little desperate. I could see she had a good grip on the truck, but that didn¡¯t stop all this dare-deviling from being scary as hell. ¡°I¡¯m going to crawl across the top of this trailer and get on the cab. As soon as it¡¯s steady, I¡¯ll get into the cab. The window is open on the driver¡¯s side.¡± ¡°Are you just going to flip in there like in the movies?¡± asked Paci. ¡°That¡¯s not going to work!¡± I knew his anger was worry in disguise, so I let it go. ¡°No, I¡¯m going to climb down just behind it and then open the door from outside and punch him in the head.¡± Winky and Paci looked at each other. ¡°That could work,¡± said Winky. ¡°Maybe,¡± said Paci, sounding defeated. I grinned evilly at them. ¡°Wish me luck.¡± I winked at my friends and wiggled my way back from the edge. A quick glance out at the highway behind me showed Rob and Bodo jogging at a fast clip. They were losing ground rapidly. Pretty soon I was going to be all alone with this guy if I didn¡¯t hurry the hell up. I spun around on my belly so I¡¯d be facing the front of the truck. I was too far back to see the road ahead of it, but too afraid to stand up and increase my viewing range. I quickly made my way up to the cab, army-crawling across the filthy surface covered not only in dirt and grime of every kind but bird turds, too. As I got closer, I was finally able to see the highway in front of us better. The semi was approaching abandoned cars and bashing right into them, not slowing down in the least. They were piling up on the shoulders of the road, victims of the smash-em-up derby this guy was causing. I didn¡¯t know how much longer the front of this truck would be able to take that kind of abuse. Getting up on my knees, I scrambled the last several feet up the trailer until I reached the space between it and the cab. It was wide enough for me to fit down in it, but tons of cables and junk were running all over the place, and different parts were moving, not necessarily in tandem with the motion of the truck. I could easily lose a foot or leg if I wasn¡¯t careful. The cab was just ahead of me, and the place where I wanted to go to my left. There was a smoke stack thingy that looked like it might get hot from the engine exhaust, a place to step up from the ground to get inside, and a couple of vertical handles I could grab onto while reaching into the cab. I wasn¡¯t sure whether I was going to go in through the window or actually open the door, but I did know that I was going to use the driver¡¯s side. The quicker I could incapacitate this maniac and get him off the accelerator, the faster we could end this crazy run. Turning around, I carefully lowered myself over the front edge of the trailer. It took every abdominal muscle I had to keep steady. I quickly found that even with my arms extended, I was still too short for my feet to reach the moving platform beneath me. Dammit! I turned to look over my shoulder. All I could see were wires and a dark spot below my feet that I knew was moving, shifting with the movements of the trailer. I had one shot to drop and land on that thing with both feet. Dad? God? Anyone up there listening? Please help me not die! I took one last look at my landing spot and let go of the top of the trailer. Both feet landed on the moving connection between the cab and trailer, but it was greasy and one of my feet slipped off. I screamed involuntarily as my hands scrabbled around, trying to find something to grab onto. My eyes flashed on blue color and I reached out without thinking, grabbing the coiled hose that ran between the cab and the trailer. For a moment I was steady again, the bulk of my weight pulling on the coupled cable first one way, then the next. But then the truck swerved to the right as it hit another parked car and threw my entire body with it. I held on to the hose for dear life. No sooner had I righted myself, balancing on that moving black chassis, when a hissing sound started coming from the bottom of the hose. I looked down in horror as the thing began coming loose from the truck, near my feet. My body was slammed against the back of the cab as the truck went into an immediate, tire burning, brake squealing stop. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was the hose problem or the fact that I¡¯d been discovered by the driver, but I had no time to lose. I had to get into that cab before the driver shot me. Surely he owned a gun and wasn¡¯t afraid to use it. I held onto the hose and stepped as far as I could towards the driver¡¯s side of the cab. The truck was almost stopped now. I leaned out away from the back of the driver¡¯s compartment a little and grabbed the handle affixed to the side of the cab, making sure to avoid the exhaust stack. I let go of the hose and jumped off the chassis, flying around like a circus performer and landing on the step that sits below the driver¡¯s side door. My free hand gripped the windowsill, and I thanked my lucky stars that the window itself was still rolled down. ¡°What the hell?!¡± yelled the guy, his face a mask of shock. ¡°Surprise, asshole!¡± I shouted, jumping up and into the window, eye gouging him with the fingers of my left hand. ¡°Ahhh! You lunatic! You ¡­ ahhh!!¡± He threw an arm across his watering eyes and kept the other on the wheel. I knew I only had a couple seconds before he¡¯d be able to see again. Grabbing the door handle, I pushed in the button that would open it up and pulled it towards me, swinging off to the side to give it room. By the time I¡¯d swung back in, the asshole had recovered enough to fight back. His fist came out and tagged me in the collar bone, just barely missing my jaw. ¡°Get the hell outta here!¡± he growled, swinging wildly, trying to punch me again. ¡°Not gonna happen,¡± I said calmly, ready to end this stupid game. I had a steady grip on the outside handle, and the truck was finally stopped. A hissing sound was still coming from the space behind the driver where I¡¯d loosened that hose thing. I came in fast, grabbing a clump of hair on the top of his head and hauling back on it as hard as I could. He screamed in pain and frustration as the top half of his body came out of the truck. It was just dumb luck that the jerk hadn¡¯t put on his seatbelt. He¡¯d probably figured there was no point, since he was the only one on the road. He figured wrong. ¡°Get off!¡± He reached up blindly, trying to grab me. He grasped my wrist just as he was falling the rest of the way off the seat. There was no way I could hold him and me up with just one hand on the grab bar; my palms were too sweaty. I was jerked from my spot on the side of the cab, and we both went down, falling several feet to the hard asphalt below. I landed on top of the driver and wasted no time in putting him out of my misery. I brought my elbow down to smash into his nose, rolling away as soon as the crunch from his broken bone signaled things were about to get really bloody. ¡°Bryn!¡± yelled Winky, her feet slapping on the pavement as she approached in a hurry. I stumbled trying to get my legs under me, a little unsteady from my fall and overwhelmed by the adrenaline that was flowing through my system in massive quantities. ¡°Are you okay?!¡± She reached my side and put her hands on my cheeks, lifting my head up so she could stare into my eyes. ¡°Are you?¡± I asked, pulling my face away so I could search her body quickly to assess her for injuries. I was relieved to find that she looked okay. ¡°I had a hell of a ride for a few seconds there, but I didn¡¯t fall. Paci did, though.¡± My heart spasmed. I jerked my head over in the direction of our path of destruction and saw Rob and Bodo standing over Paci. My proud Native American friend was sitting up and resting his upper arms on bent knees, his head bowed low. ¡°Is he okay?¡± I asked, my voice quavering a little. It made me sick to think I¡¯d done something to hurt him. He might send my emotions into a tailspin every time I looked at him and he might complicate the hell out of my relationship with Bodo, but it didn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t care about him deeply. ¡°I think so. But we have bigger problems.¡± She nodded her head at the guy on the ground. He was trying to get up, blood pouring down his face and dripping onto his shirt. Winky stepped away from me and pulled her gun out of her pants. ¡°Stop right there, dude, or I¡¯ll put a bullet in your friggin¡¯ head.¡± Page 16 He froze in place for a moment. ¡°What the ¡­¡± After a few seconds of dumb shock, he stood up slowly, stumbling a few steps back before he was able to right himself. ¡°What the hell is wrong with you two? Jesus, are you off your rockers or what? Why¡¯d you pull me out of the truck? You could have just asked me to stop, you know.¡± I walked over to stand by Winky. ¡°I think the better question is to ask what the hell is wrong with you?¡± I jerked my thumb back towards the trailer. ¡°You have kids in there, don¡¯t you? You¡¯re hauling humans in a truck.¡± His nostrils flared, and he gritted his teeth so hard his jaw muscles pulsed. For a minute I thought he was going to refuse to respond. ¡°No comment,¡± he finally said. Winky laughed bitterly. ¡°No comment? What? You think this is a fucking news interview, dude? I¡¯m telling you right now ¡­ you¡¯re dead if there are slaves or cannibal meals in there. Dead. Like as a doornail kind of dead. I¡¯m not playing.¡± She waved her gun at him a little. Her tone said she was thoroughly disgusted with him, just like I was. Looking at Winky, I was just a little afraid she was going to go berserker on him. She seemed a little too excited about shooting him doornail style or whatever. ¡°It ain¡¯t like that,¡± he said, wiping the blood from beneath his nose. ¡°I don¡¯t eat kids. That shit¡¯s disgusting.¡± ¡°Whatever. We¡¯ll get the story from them,¡± I said. I turned to Winky. ¡°You got this?¡± I gestured to our bleeding truck driver. I wanted Winky to stand guard while I let those kids out. ¡°Yeah. I got this,¡± she said, her tone menacing. ¡°He makes one move, and he¡¯s dead meat. Vulture food. Gator bait.¡± ¡°Back up a little, give yourself room to maneuver,¡± I said, tugging on her sleeve. I faced him fully. ¡°You have any weapons on you?¡± He shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m coming over to disarm you. You do anything stupid and my friend will shoot you. You understand?¡± He didn¡¯t do anything. He was being stupid and trying to face me down. ¡°Seriously, man. She¡¯s little, but she¡¯s vicious. Don¡¯t think she won¡¯t do it.¡± I wasn¡¯t lying. Winky would probably shoot if she had to, but I was praying she wouldn¡¯t have to. Chances were I¡¯d get clipped or worse. He nodded finally. I walked over cautiously, waiting for him to make a move. But he just stood there and watched me come, wiping his nose off on his forearm a couple times. It left bloody smears across his skin that made me sick to my stomach, reminding me too much of the blood I¡¯d seen at the canner house and elsewhere. ¡°Who are you?¡± he asked when I got close. ¡°Nobody you need to worry about.¡± ¡°You¡¯re that chick, ain¡¯t ya? The ball-biter.¡± I groaned inwardly. ¡°Shut up.¡± ¡°You took that guy¡¯s nuts off, didn¡¯t you? You¡¯re the one everyone¡¯s talking about.¡± A small smile came to his lips. He looked happy that I¡¯d chomped on a testicle. I didn¡¯t know whether that was a good sign or a bad sign. ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡± That¡¯s it. Play stupid. Do not think about that guy¡¯s nasty, smelly crotch and his testicle blood filling your mouth. My stomach clenched. My visual memory was way too sharp for my own good. ¡°There¡¯s a bounty on your head, you know.¡± My blood froze. Now I was sick and terrified. I didn¡¯t want to clue this guy into the truth of his suspicions, but the idea of a bounty or contract on my head had me scared shitless. How am I going to live a peaceful life if a bunch of kids will always be out there trying to hunt me down? ¡°Turn around,¡± I said, my voice gruff. I breathed in and out rapidly, trying to dispel the horrible feelings that were welling up inside my head and heart. I had to stay calm and collected so I could be ready for any sudden moves. He obeyed without complaint. I stepped closer and felt around the waistband of his shorts. He had a knife in a holder attached at his belt and another one in his combat boot. He turned back to face me as I stepped away. ¡°I ain¡¯t a bad guy, you know.¡± He tried to smile but winced when the pain came from his nose. He reached up and touched it gingerly, sniffing once and then groaning. ¡°We¡¯ll see about that.¡± I walked backwards until I was even with Winky, never taking my eyes off him. ¡°He¡¯s clean now. I¡¯m going to check the truck.¡± ¡°Good. I¡¯ve got this. You can tell me about the ball-biting later.¡± My face went crimson, but I said nothing. Maybe if I pretended it was no big deal, she¡¯d forget all about it. I walked backwards all the way to the trailer, only taking my eyes off my friend when I reached the end of it. Rob and Bodo came walking up at the same time. I looked back to see where Paci was, noticing immediately that he wasn¡¯t with Rob and Bodo. I could make out his bent-over form, still sitting on the ground, his head hanging down. Bodo and Rob were sweating like crazy and both of them had beet-red faces. ¡°Is Paci okay?¡± I asked, searching their expressions for clues of his condition. ¡°He¡¯ll be alright,¡± said Rob. ¡°Nothing broken, just bruised. I think he got a little stunned when he hit the pavement.¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ll have to apologize for that.¡± ¡°How the hell¡¯d you get that beast to stop so hard like that?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure. I might have messed up the air brakes or whatever.¡± ¡°Are we going to be able to use the truck?¡± I climbed up onto the back of the trailer. ¡°I have no idea.¡± I lifted up the big latch that held the doors together. Moving it first up and then one-hundred-and-eighty degrees to the right, I unlocked the mechanism keeping the trailer closed. Jumping down, I looked at my friends. ¡°Here goes nothing.¡± I pulled the right door open first, shoving it so it would swing open all the way. The three of us stood in the opening and just stared. There were about ten kids inside, all in various states of disarray, from their clothing to their hair to their expressions. One of them came forward, a girl. She was trembling but she held her chin high. ¡°Hi,¡± I said, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. ¡°Friend or foe?¡± she said simply. ¡°Friend.¡± I smiled. ¡°We stopped the truck and want to help.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what the driver said to us, too.¡± I frowned, looking at Bodo and Rob. ¡°What do you mean?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°Why are you in da truck and why wass he driving it?¡± She sighed, not so much with fatigue as hopelessness from the sound of it. My heart went out to all of them, they looked so pitiful. Their clothes were rags and a few of them were curled up on the floor of the filthy trailer. I wasn¡¯t even sure they were still alive. ¡°We were taken prisoner by a few guys, and they were going to trade us.¡± ¡°Trade you for what?¡± asked Rob. ¡°Food. Fuel. Whatever. But then this other guy, the one who was just driving, jumped them when it was dark and told us he was going to help us get away.¡± I was so confused now, I didn¡¯t know what to say. Thankfully, Rob wasn¡¯t suffering the same problem. ¡°So you¡¯re saying the driver is a good guy? That we interfered in his little rescue plan?¡± She shrugged. ¡°At this point, I have no idea who¡¯s good and who¡¯s bad. All I know is, he¡¯s still driving towards the market, and if we get there, we¡¯ll all be dead soon. So thank you.¡± She moved towards the entrance. ¡°Thank you for stopping the truck.¡± She reached the edge and looked out at the highway for a little while. Then she turned back to the people behind her. ¡°You guys ready to get out of here?¡± Another girl standing said, ¡°But where are we going to go?¡± A guy lying on the ground sat up, rubbing his face with weak motions. ¡°Where are we? How far are we from the market?¡± ¡°What¡¯s this market you guys keep talking about?¡± I asked. I was picturing a big slave auction like they had in Roman times, but that couldn¡¯t possibly be right. ¡°The market is where stuff is traded or exchanged. At the old casino property in Hollywood, north of here, I hope.¡± The girl leaned out and looked around. The light glinted off her hair, causing some amber highlights to come out. In another time, she would have been considered really pretty - like prom queen material. ¡°Where are we? Do you know?¡± she asked Rob. Rob must have caught on to her beauty too, because he was momentarily unable to speak or something. His mouth was moving around but no sound was coming out. Bodo answered for him. ¡°You are north of Miami, but not to Hollywood yet. You are close, dough.¡± ¡°Then we need to leave.¡± She grabbed the edge of the door, her arms trembling as she tried to lower herself out. I stepped over to the side of the truck as the guys helped the damsel in distress get down. ¡°Winky!¡± I shouted. ¡°Yeah!¡± she responded, not looking back. ¡°Bring that guy over here!¡± Paci came limping up to join us. He had an angry red road burn on his forearm that had to be really painful. I winced. ¡°Sorry, Paci. That looks bad.¡± ¡°It stings a little.¡± He gave me a slight smile. He spared only a glance for the girl who was now standing next to Rob before looking back at me. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal?¡± ¡°Well, we¡¯re trying to figure this out. This girl ¡­¡± I pointed to her and waited for her to introduce herself. ¡°Chantal.¡± ¡°¡­ Chantal ¡­ told us that there¡¯s some sort of market up in Hollywood were people trade kids for stuff, and she and her friends were being taken there by some other people when this guy stopped them and took over the driving.¡± I pointed to Winky¡¯s prisoner who was walking towards us, about halfway down the side of the trailer now. ¡°So is he one of them or one of us?¡± asked Paci. ¡°That remains to be seen,¡± I said. ¡°But he was still driving north and looked in a hurry to get there, so that doesn¡¯t look good to me.¡± ¡°Me eidder,¡± added Bodo, not looking at me. I was grateful for his support but annoyed he was making such a point of being distant. Now was not the time to be a jerk as far as I was concerned. It made me even angrier at him than I already was. The driver reached our group. ¡°Hey, Chantal,¡± he said, wiping at his nose again. ¡°Hello, Jackson.¡± A few other kids arrived at the doorway and got down with Rob¡¯s help. ¡°Explain yourself,¡± I said to the driver, who apparently went by the name of Jackson. ¡°Are you bringing these kids to the market?¡± ¡°Hell no. I was bringing them somewhere safe.¡± He looked down at the ground. It sure seemed like a guilty move to me. ¡°So what¡¯s the catch?¡± asked Winky. ¡°What kind of safe are you talking about? Your own little food pantry? Place where you store your next meals?¡± She poked him in the upper arm with her gun barrel. He scowled at her. ¡°No. I told that other girl already. I ain¡¯t a cannibal. Never have been, never will be.¡± ¡°Then why were you driving them north?¡± He signed heavily. ¡°I¡¯d rather not say.¡± ¡°Tough,¡± said Winky, poking him harder. ¡°Quit it, would ya?¡± he said loudly, stepping away from her and closer to the truck. ¡°Jackson, you have a choice,¡± I explained. ¡°You can fess up and tell us what the hell you¡¯re up to, or you can die. It¡¯s that simple.¡± Page 17 He laughed once, but entirely without humor. ¡°You are the ball-biter. I can tell by your attitude.¡± ¡°Ball-biter?¡± asked Rob, sounding totally confused. I held my hand out. ¡°Winky, give me the gun.¡± I wasn¡¯t really going to shoot Jackson, but he didn¡¯t know that. I wanted to know what he was doing out on the highway headed north. If I could get him to spill his secrets by scaring him a little, that would be perfect. And if I could also get him to shut up about the testicle biting incident, that would be a bonus. If he didn¡¯t tell us his secrets, I wasn¡¯t going to shoot him. I planned to let the elements or some canners do the dirty work for me. I didn¡¯t need attacks from my own conscience coming against me. Life was precious, especially now that we appreciated it more, and what I¡¯d done to that canner Dave was still weighing very heavily on my mind. Even though he totally deserved it, it still wasn¡¯t enough to make me forget that I¡¯d taken the life of another human being. Winky handed me the heavy nine millimeter weapon. I held it up to my waist level. ¡°Tell us what the hell you¡¯re up to or get a gut shot.¡± ¡°Damn, that¡¯s dirty,¡± he said, his hand going down to rub his belly. ¡°That¡¯s the most painful way to die, you know.¡± ¡°I know a worse way,¡± I said, thinking of Peter¡¯s poor little sister. I raised the gun to eye level, my arm straight out. My friends moved away, giving the impression they were maneuvering to keep the blood spatters off of them. When I turned my hand sideways, gangster-style, Jackson finally cracked. ¡°Yeah, okay fine,¡± he said, running his fingers nervously through his hair. ¡°Jesus. You guys are nuts, you know that?¡± Three more kids moved to the edge of the trailer and climbed down with help from Rob and Bodo. ¡°My family and I have a ranch just north of here. A ranch I¡¯d like to keep secret if you don¡¯t mind. I was out scouting around and came across this group of assholes who had this truck and the kids inside it. So I snuck up on them and bashed their heads in and took the truck. That¡¯s it.¡± He shrugged like it was no big deal. ¡°And what were you going to do with all of them? That¡¯s a lot of mouths to feed,¡± I said, gesturing to the small ragtag group of kids now standing behind the semi. ¡°It¡¯s not a problem,¡± said Jackson, a note of pride in his voice. I looked over at Bodo. His jaw muscle twitched, and my heart spasmed. How I wished I could hear him say that again with one of his silly smiles spread across his face. ¡°Seriously. I¡¯ve had a long day,¡± I said, sighing for emphasis. I lowered the gun a little. ¡°I was going to use them for labor.¡± When Winky started to bristle he finished quickly. ¡°And feed them! And give them a place to stay! Shit, girl. Just relax, would ya?¡± He was frowning at Winky, but at the same time obviously wary of her. ¡°I told you ¡­ I ain¡¯t no people eater.¡± I couldn¡¯t help it. The smile came whether I wanted it to or not. I suddenly couldn¡¯t get that stupid song out of my head, the one that my dad used to sing sometimes in the car when we were on road trips. A kid¡¯s voice came out of the truck. It was like the voice of an angel or something it was so pure and sweet. ¡°It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater¡­¡± And then a raspy cough promptly stopped the serenade. Paci chuckled. ¡°What the hell was that?¡± asked Rob, finally tearing his gaze from Chantal¡¯s lovely face to stare at the back of the truck. The owner of the voice was not visible from where we were standing. ¡°That¡¯s Jessie. She¡¯s our songbird.¡± Chantal¡¯s expression hardened. ¡°The other guys who took us said they¡¯d make a lot of bank trading her.¡± I grimaced, not even wanting to think about what that meant for Jessie. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s enough of that. No one¡¯s going to the market or getting traded for anything.¡± ¡°So what¡¯re you gonna do?¡± asked Jackson. I stepped back, putting some space between him and me. Motioning for the others to join me, I waited until they were all behind me, leaving him standing alone. ¡°Please don¡¯t shoot me,¡± he begged, trembling now. ¡°I swear to God, I wasn¡¯t gonna hurt anyone.¡± ¡°You left them in the trailer,¡± said Winky. ¡°Some of them look dead.¡± ¡°What else was I gonna do? Make ¡®em walk? It was the fastest way to get them safe!¡± Everything he said made sense, assuming this ranch actually existed. ¡°Why don¡¯t we have him take us to his place?¡± asked Rob. ¡°Kill two birds with one stone ¡­ check out his story and take his cattle at the same time?¡± ¡°Hey! You can¡¯t take my cattle!¡± He stepped forward but stopped abruptly when my gun came up again. ¡°We can, and we will. So stand there and shut up while we figure this out.¡± ¡°Shiiiiit,¡± he said, scowling and kicking at the dirt. ¡°All this time and effort ¡­ all going to shit. I don¡¯t know why I even bothered.¡± I felt terrible. I was talking tough, but I could imagine what it would feel like to build a home that could sustain you and your group and then have someone waltz in and take it. If anyone ever tried to do that with Haven I¡¯d explode. ¡°We need to split up,¡± said Paci, speaking in low tones so no one but our little group would hear. ¡°Yeah. Our people could be getting massacred right now, for all we know,¡± said Rob. He looked antsy, staring off into the direction of the Miccosukee village. ¡°Let¡¯s split up then,¡± I said. ¡°Who goes where?¡± ¡°Rob, Winky, and I will go to Kahayatle,¡± said Paci. ¡°You and Bodo go with that Jackson guy. We¡¯ll let the other kids decide what they want to do.¡± ¡°They¡¯re not going to be able to do anything,¡± said Winky. ¡°They¡¯re all too weak. That guy Jackson probably did them a favor keeping them in the trailer, if his ranch story is true.¡± ¡°Maybe they can just hang out for a day here by the side of the road or something,¡± I suggested. ¡°It¡¯s not ideal but it spares them bumping around inside that oven for a while at least.¡± ¡°Let them choose,¡± said Bodo. ¡°Den they can¡¯t blame us if it¡¯s bad.¡± Everyone looked at each other, all of us eventually nodding. ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want me with you in the swamp?¡± I asked Rob and Paci. ¡°Yeah, we want you there, but you can¡¯t let Bodo go off alone and deal with all that stuff by himself. And it¡¯s our family out there,¡± said Winky. ¡°Yeah. What shorty said,¡± said Rob, flicking her braid. She punched him hard enough in the arm to make him wince. He frowned at her as he rubbed out the sting. I broke away from the group and approached Jackson. ¡°So here¡¯s what¡¯s going to happen: You¡¯re going to take me and one of my friends over to your ranch. Once we¡¯re there, we¡¯ll decide whether we¡¯re going to let you stay or take you with us.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s my home,¡± he said in a soft voice. It was like all the fight had left him. ¡°Tough.¡± I hardened my heart. This was what we had to do. And I still didn¡¯t feel like I could trust him. I looked at Chantal. ¡°You can get in the trailer and come to the ranch or you can stay here on the side of the road or you can take off. It¡¯s up to you.¡± ¡°Are you really the ball-biter?¡± she asked, a blank expression on her face. I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes. ¡°I really wish you guys would stop saying that.¡± ¡°No one knows the ball-biter¡¯s name. Just that she¡¯s vicious and took the nuts off one of the most notorious criminals our world knows. At least in Florida.¡± ¡°Fine. My name¡¯s Bryn, and yes, I¡¯m the ball-biter, okay? Jesus.¡± I shook my head while my face flamed tomato-red. ¡°She didn¡¯t have a choice,¡± said Bodo, coming up to stand next to me. ¡°I was dare. He was goingk to kill her.¡± Chantal held up her hands in surrender. ¡°Hey, it¡¯s no skin of my back. I¡¯m glad she did it. Calmed him down a little.¡± ¡°How do you know?¡± She shrugged. ¡°I¡¯ve been around. I¡¯ve heard things.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± said Jackson. ¡°Congrats by the way.¡± He grinned at me. ¡°For what?¡± I didn¡¯t know why I asked. ¡°For being the most well-known person in the whole state. You¡¯re like a post-apocalyptic celebrity.¡± ¡°Great.¡± I sighed. ¡°I¡¯m walking around with a target on my face. What wonderful news. Thanks for letting me know. My nightmares weren¡¯t bad enough already.¡± ¡°Word is you¡¯ve got friends, though. You ain¡¯t no easy target. Good people are headed your way. You¡¯re down south, right? In a prison or something?¡± I frowned at Jackson. ¡°How could you possibly know that?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡± He was grinning ear to ear. Now I really wanted to check out this ranch of his. I looked at my friends. ¡°You go to the swamp. Get all the able-bodied kids you can find to meet us at the canoe rental place. Bring whatever trucks you have and anything that¡¯ll move that is on this paper. I pulled Peter¡¯s list out of my pocket and handed it to Rob. ¡°Take it all. The swamp¡¯s been compromised too much. We¡¯ll go back to it later.¡± ¡°What if they won¡¯t come?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Then leave them one of everything so they can get along without us. Don¡¯t force anyone.¡± ¡°They¡¯ll come,¡± said Rob. ¡°The place was getting torn apart when we were there. They moved to the ranches.¡± I nodded. Turning back to Jackson, I asked, ¡°So how do we get to your place from here?¡± ¡°It¡¯ll be faster if we drive the truck.¡± ¡°Will it still work? I think I broke the brakes or something.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go check,¡± he said, looking pointedly at my gun. ¡°If you¡¯ll let me, that is.¡± I waved the carelessly. ¡°Go ahead.¡± I handed the weapon to Bodo. ¡°Watch him, would you?¡± Bodo took it from me and nodded once before disappearing around the side of the trailer with our prisoner. Rob, Paci, and Winky had already left to retrieve their bikes, leaving me alone with the trailer¡¯s occupants. ¡°I think we¡¯d like to stick with you, if that¡¯s okay,¡± said Chantal. The other kids standing around nodded. ¡°Sissy and Jimmy said you¡¯re good people. Their words.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe it. The Cracker Barrel kids again. ¡°How do you know them?¡± ¡°They have contacts everywhere. I met them about a week ago, before I got snagged by the jerks who were going to trade us.¡± ¡°But how? How are they talking to so many people?¡± She shrugged. ¡°You¡¯ll have to ask them.¡± ¡°No thanks.¡± I knew I¡¯d never go back there. I didn¡¯t want to get shot for breaking their back door, and that Jimmy kid didn¡¯t seem all that mentally well-balanced to me. He might be calling me good people now, but that didn¡¯t mean he¡¯d feel the same way seeing me face-to-face. I walked over and looked into the trailer. ¡°Are those kids okay?¡± I asked, pretty sure they weren¡¯t. ¡°I think two of them aren¡¯t going to make it,¡± Chantal whispered. ¡°But we can¡¯t just leave them here.¡± ¡°Of course not,¡± I said, backing away. Then speaking to the group, I raised my voice. ¡°Okay, if you want to go with us to check out this ranch - which I¡¯m not even sure exists - you¡¯re welcome to ride in the trailer. I¡¯m going to be in the cab. If you¡¯d rather wait by the side of the road for us to come back, feel free.¡± Page 18 All but one of the kids got back into the trailer with help from Chantal, who appeared to be the most physically fit of the group. She trembled from the effort of assisting the kids in, but she didn¡¯t quit. It made me think she¡¯d be a great addition to Haven. Probably any of these kids would. Everyone had something to offer our new world, and everyone made a difference in some way or another. The lone kid who didn¡¯t join them stood off by himself, thin, dirty, his hair in knots. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± I asked, walking up to him. I could smell his unwashed body long before I got near. ¡°Dane,¡± he said, his voice barely a whisper. ¡°You going to wait for us here?¡± He shrugged the slightest bit. ¡°If you want us to stop and get you on our way back south, put something on the road as a signal.¡± ¡°Something like what?¡± he whispered. I looked around me for something that wouldn¡¯t look so out of place it would alert anyone else coming by that someone was there. A dirty baseball hat came flying out of the back of the trailer. Dane stared at it for a long time, his expression stricken. I walked over and picked it up, handing it to him. ¡°Put that in the middle of the road if you want us to stop for you.¡± He held it in his hand so listlessly, I thought it was going to fall out. But then he turned and limped off the highway, disappearing behind some scrub beyond the ditch. I shook my head, watching him go. That kid was on his last legs. I made a mental note to check that bush on my way back, regardless of whether the hat appeared or not. In his condition, he¡¯d probably fall asleep back there for three days straight and forget to put it out. Turning back to Chantal, I was struck again by how pretty she was, even standing in the back of a nasty trailer covered in grime. She was going to be a serious hit back in Haven if we made it that far. Hopefully she wouldn¡¯t cause any riots. My heart burned at the idea of Bodo falling for her like Rob seemed to have. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked. ¡°We can all wait here if you prefer.¡± I waved her concerns off. ¡°No, don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯m cool. I¡¯ll try to make the ride as comfortable as possible, but no promises.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We¡¯re used to it.¡± ¡°How long have you been in here?¡± I¡¯d caught a whiff of something that smelled like outhouse, so I had a feeling it had been a while. ¡°Too long,¡± she said. ¡°Close the doors and lock them. I don¡¯t want anyone falling out like before.¡± I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked over to swing the big doors shut. Jumping up on the back step, I secured them in place, hating that I was closing people in and not letting them out. Soon, I promise. I banged on the door. ¡°You guys okay?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± came a muffled voice from within. I leaped to the ground and walked around the passenger side of the truck, climbing up into the cab to join Jackson and Bodo. Neither of them said a word as I settled into the passenger seat. We reached the ranch in about a half hour. We left the highway and bumped over paved roads and then dirt ones, finally arriving at a small house with several outbuildings around it. A group of dogs came out to greet us, all of them barking and some of them growling. I quickly counted eight of them running around in the dust kicked up by our arrival. Out in the fields nearby there were cows grazing. It was almost surreal how normal it looked. ¡°Dose are some bigk cows,¡± said Bodo, staring at the herd that paid us no attention. ¡°You got lots of doggies too.¡± ¡°They¡¯re charolais - the cattle. Biggest breed out there, pretty much. They were my father¡¯s pride and joy before ¡­ well, you know.¡± Jackson climbed down from the cab. ¡°The dogs are part of the family, and they do a lot of the work around here with us.¡± He looked at the ones bold enough to approach. ¡°No, Bully! No Drake! Get back! They¡¯re friends!¡± The dogs obeyed, most of them turning to either go over to the house or out into the field with the cows. Three of the mutts stayed near Jackson. I didn¡¯t know enough about dog breeds to know what they were, but they looked scary regardless. I was glad we didn¡¯t have Buster with us. He would have been an appetizer for these beasts. As we joined Jackson on the ground, the front door to the single story home opened and a girl came out with a smaller dog at her feet. Two of the welcome-party dogs walked over to greet her and then followed behind when she launched herself off the porch. ¡°Jackson, where have you been?! And what is that damn truck doing here?! And who the heck are these people?!¡± Jackson gave us a conspiratorial smile. ¡°That¡¯s my sister, Katy. She gets riled up easy, but don¡¯t worry, her bark is much worse than her bite. Usually.¡± ¡°Ease up, there, Katy,¡± he said with more volume, walking toward the back of the truck. She barely spared us a glance as she strode by, following close on his heels. ¡°Do you know how worried I was? Tater ¡¯n me have been pacing so much we nearly wore a hole in the floorboards!¡± ¡°You can stop yelling any second now,¡± he said. It sounded like laughter wasn¡¯t that far away for him. She punched him in the back. ¡°That¡¯s for leaving us behind and almost gettin¡¯ yourself killed!¡± He arched his back and shuffled a couple steps, but kept on walking. ¡°Damn, Katy, ease up. Can¡¯t you see my nose is broke?¡± ¡°I¡¯m-a break your damn neck! How about that?¡± He stopped at the back of the truck, turning to face his sister. ¡°Katy. Chillax, girl. I brought some people.¡± He smiled wide. I¡¯d drawn even with Jackson, so I could see the expression on her face when it went from mad to excited. ¡°Really? You found hands?¡± I felt instantly sick. Extending my palms out towards both of them and putting some distance between us, I said, ¡°Hold up ¡­ you guys brought those people here to take their hands? What is that ¡­ some kind of sick fetish?¡± I backed up farther, taking my gun out of my waistband and holding it with two hands at waist-level, pointed at the ground. The girl looked at me for a second like I was nuts. Then she turned to her brother and jerked her thumb in my direction. ¡°Who¡¯s the dumbass?¡± Jackson chuckled. ¡°She ain¡¯t no dumbass. She¡¯s the ball-biter.¡± He nodded a few times to drive home the point. Katy¡¯s mouth dropped open as she stared first at her brother and then at me. ¡°No! Say it ain¡¯t so!¡± I wasn¡¯t sure, but it was possible I¡¯d just gone from dumbass to testicle-chomping celebrity in her eyes. This was one twisted family. ¡°Yeah. And she busted my nose and could probably bust yours too in a heartbeat, so if you could just tone it down about eighty notches, that¡¯d be great.¡± He hopped up onto the back step in an easy, practiced motion and opened up the big doors, pushing them both wide as he jumped down. Katy stepped back, a shocked expression on her face as she waved her hand in front of her nose. ¡°Shew-eee, damn that smells. Oh my god, there¡¯s kids in there!¡± She scowled at her bother. ¡°You put them in there like that? They ain¡¯t cattle, you know. They¡¯re humans!¡± ¡°You were going to eat their hands,¡± I reminded her, my gun still out. ¡°Girl, you are some kinda stupid, ain¡¯t ya? No wonder you¡¯re runnin¡¯ around bitin¡¯ balls.¡± She snorted. ¡°Darwin¡¯s gonna take care-a you, mark my words.¡± Bodo put his hand on my shoulder. I recognized it for the moral support it was. I appreciated it since I felt about as dumb as a box of rocks at this point. Jackson looked at me with a smile. ¡°Did I mention my sister is easy to rile up? And just to clarify, we were looking for hands as in ranch hands. You know, cowboys? People to help out around here?¡± The lightbulb popped on above my head. ¡°Ooooh, raaaanch hands. That makes waaaay more sense than what I was thinking.¡± I wiped my brow. ¡°Phew. My mind went a little nuts there.¡± ¡°Nuts. That¡¯s funny, comin¡¯ from you,¡± said Katy, walking up closer to the trailer. She wasn¡¯t laughing. Facing the kids inside, she said, ¡°You guys wanna come out? I got some beef stew on the stove.¡± All of the kids who were able to shuffled forward, most of them falling in the dirt when they tried to get down. Bodo, Jackson, and I helped them up while Katy led the way to her house. We left the sleeping kids where they were inside the trailer. ¡°It ain¡¯t much, but it¡¯s better than starving,¡± she said as she disappeared behind the door. ¡°Wait on the porch! I¡¯ll bring it out!¡± ¡°Jackson, how in the hell have you managed to keep all these cows out here without getting them taken?¡± I asked, marveling at their sheer size and number. They were all a whitish-creme color and looked as big as pick-up trucks from where I was standing. ¡°Well, lemme tell ya ¡­ it¡¯s been a challenge. But I¡¯m a diplomat, so that¡¯s made it easier. And they ain¡¯t all cows, obviously. We got bulls and steers, too.¡± I frowned. ¡°How does being a diplomat make it easier? I don¡¯t get it.¡± ¡°I ain¡¯t got no enemies, see? I deal with everyone square. You got somethin¡¯ to trade, you eat my beef. You ain¡¯t got nothin¡¯ to trade, but you can work, you eat my beef. But you try to steal my beef? You get killed. No questions asked. And I bury you out by the road so everyone can see what happens to people who get stupid and greedy at the Triple Bar D.¡± I nodded. ¡°I guess that¡¯s diplomatic. But are you saying you feed canners?¡± ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± ¡°Cannibals. Do you feed the kids who eat other kids?¡± He shrugged. ¡°Maybe I do. I dunno. It ain¡¯t like I ask ¡®em when they show up what they ate before. Besides, as far as I¡¯m concerned, if they¡¯re eatin¡¯ beef for a change, that¡¯s a good thing, right?¡± ¡°You¡¯re so matter-of-fact about it.¡± I was concerned he wasn¡¯t getting more upset about the idea. ¡°It¡¯s a strange, cruel world we¡¯re livin¡¯ in. Like the wild, wild West or the animal kingdom. Can¡¯t say as it¡¯s all that different than the one I was in before, personally speaking, but I aim to make a new life for myself and my sister however I can. Adapt and overcome, that¡¯s what my daddy used to say, that sonofabitch.¡± His expression went from bland to angry. ¡°No love lost there?¡± ¡°Nah. He drank a lot. You ain¡¯t the first person¡¯s broke my nose. Maybe you knocked it straight for me.¡± He lifted his head and grinned, giving me a profile view from one side and then the other. ¡°Whattya think? Is it straight now?¡± ¡°No, but I could straighten it for you if you want.¡± It did look like it was going to be a little crooked. I hadn¡¯t noticed before I hit him whether it was straight or not. I¡¯d been too busy thinking I was going to have to kill him. He held up a hand. ¡°No thanks, doc. I¡¯ll just leave it be if it¡¯s all the same to you.¡± All this talk about fixing noses was fine, but it was time to get down to business. I didn¡¯t know how to broach the subject in a casual way, so I just went for it. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal? Can we take some of your cattle or what?¡± He laughed. ¡°Where you gonna take ¡®em?¡± ¡°We¡¯ve formed a new community down south, at the Everglades Correctional Institution, as you know. We¡¯ve got about fifty kids there now, but we plan to have hundreds. And eventually we¡¯ll grow to city-size. But we need livestock. Lots of other things, too.¡± He crossed his arms and rubbed his chin while he thought about it. ¡°Normally, I¡¯d just say no right outta hand. Them cattle¡¯s about all that¡¯s keepin¡¯ us alive. But maybe this is worth some thinkin¡¯.¡± He stopped with the chin-rubbing and grinned. ¡°Let¡¯s go eat and talk it over. Maybe we can strike a bargain.¡± A twinkle came to his eye which told me he liked to wheel and deal. Hope trickled into my heart. Page 19 I glanced at Bodo in time to see him smiling too, but when he caught me looking, he stopped, going back to having his little tantrum. I had about another hour of patience left in me before I was going to blow my top at Bodo. Hopefully he¡¯d get his head out of his butt before then so I wouldn¡¯t have to. We followed Jackson up to his porch where Katy was already ladling out stew to anyone who could hold a bowl. A few of the dogs milled around, probably hoping for something to fall. ¡°Scoot!¡± Katy yelled, gesturing at them fiercely with her ladle. Three of the four took off, but the little one stayed. ¡°You too, Tater,¡± she said, nudging him with her foot. But Tater wasn¡¯t hearing any of it. He went right back to his begging and was rewarded a few seconds later with a chunk of potato that I was pretty sure Katy had dropped on purpose. He reminded me of Buster, a dog who was impossible to dislike or send away. Two kids had fallen asleep on their backs before they could get any stew, mouths hanging open and slack. Their color didn¡¯t look very good either. I had a feeling Jackson was going to be digging some more graves soon. ¡°This is the best stew I¡¯ve ever eaten,¡± said Chantal, some of it dripping down her chin. Seeing it made me realize how hungry I was. My salivary glands started working overtime and my stomach growled loudly. I felt a little guilty that Winky and the others wouldn¡¯t be getting any of this, but that wasn¡¯t going to stop me from taking my share. I took a bowl from Katy and dug in. ¡°Holy crap,¡± I said around a chunk of carrot a few seconds later. I never thought carrots could taste so good. ¡°This is ¡­ heaven.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe it. It was like being transported back to the school cafeteria. I¡¯d always scoffed at the stew there, never daring to try it, but now I realized I should have paid it more respect. My stomach was cramping in ecstasy. The food in Kahayatle was pretty damn good, but there was nothing like real beef in authentic beef stew. ¡°Aw, it ain¡¯t that good,¡± said Katy, clearly pleased by the compliments she was receiving. ¡°No, dis is goodt,¡± said Bodo, poking a hunk of meat with his spoon, his cheeks bulging with food. ¡°Where didt you find all da vegetables? Carrots, potatoes, and onions? Even da salt.¡± ¡°In our garden, of course. What? You think I walked to the supermarket?¡± Katy snorted. ¡°That¡¯ll be the day.¡± She ladled more stew into Bodo¡¯s bowl. ¡°We get the salt from the ocean, believe it or not. Evaporate the water right out. Works like a charm.¡± ¡°We¡¯re totally self-sustaining at the Triple Bar D,¡± said Jackson, addressing all the kids who¡¯d come out of the trailer. ¡°If you want to stay, you can, but you¡¯ll have to work. And when I say work, I mean, work your tail off. Work your fingers to the bone.¡± Katy held up a manual-labor-worn hand, wiggling her fingers a little. The fingernails were ragged all the way to the quick and not from being bitten. I could see the callouses on her palms from several feet away. ¡°He ain¡¯t jokin¡¯ neither,¡± Katy added. ¡°It¡¯s dawn to midnight around here and then there¡¯s guard duty. Luckily we have help with that part of it.¡± She nudged the little dog at her feet. ¡°I can work,¡± said Chantal. She looked at me. ¡°But I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s as safe here as it will be with her.¡± ¡°Bryn is my name, by the way, you guys. And this big strapping German guy with me is Bodo.¡± He nodded his head at them, his mouth too full to speak. ¡°What¡¯s a guy from Germany doing all the way over here?¡± asked Chantal. She gave him a special smile that made me instantly sick to my stomach. There was no way Bodo would want to be with me when Chantal was around. Even dirty and raggedy, she was ten times prettier than me. ¡°I wass doing an exchanche and den the bomb dropped on da worldt and dat was da end of my Cherman life. I¡¯m Hamerican now.¡± He looked back down at his bowl, preparing another giant spoonful for his mouth. Katy could obviously care less about Bodo. She didn¡¯t even spare him a glance before she was responding to Chantal¡¯s earlier comment. ¡°It¡¯s plenty safe here.¡± She sounded defensive. ¡°We got dogs up the yin yang, rifles, shotguns, bows and arrows ¡­ you name it, we got it. And we know how to use all of it, too.¡± ¡°So how does that help you when some kid comes up in the middle of the night to snag one of your cows?¡± I asked. ¡°First of all, ain¡¯t no one gettin¡¯ on this here property without us knowin¡¯. We got dogs can smell outsiders from a mile away. Plus one of us always stays awake while the other one sleeps. And the herd¡¯s never far from the house.¡± She shrugged. ¡°It gets a little pungent sometimes, but until we have more hands, that¡¯s the way it¡¯s gotta be. Plus, we got the ewes.¡± ¡°The ewes?¡± Now I was really confused. ¡°Dat¡¯s da girl sheeps, Bryn. I know da English for farm animals because my granfadder had a farm and he hadt lots of American friends.¡± Bodo¡¯s explanation did nothing to help me understand. ¡°I didn¡¯t know ewes were so aggressive. You actually use them to protect your ranch? Like guard ewes?¡± Katy and Jackson both started laughing. I couldn¡¯t get a straight answer out of either one of them for a full five minutes. When Katy could finally speak, she put her hand on my shoulder. ¡°Ball-biter ¡­ you¡¯re one-a the funniest girls I ever met. You¡¯re all right by me, though. You¡¯re aaaaalll right by me.¡± She patted me a few times before picking up her beef stew pot and walking towards the front door. I rolled my eyes. ¡°The name¡¯s Bryn, okay? Call me ball-biter one more time, and I¡¯ll pop you in the boob.¡± She sobered up quick, turning around. ¡°Them¡¯s fightin¡¯ words, girl. But I¡¯m gonna keep my fists to myself because I don¡¯t wanna lose a chunk of my girl parts when you decide to get all angry and hungry at the same time.¡± I acted like I was going for her just to make her flinch, and she didn¡¯t disappoint. She jumped so far, so fast, I almost didn¡¯t see it happening. The empty pot was on the floor and her knife was out and ready in half a second. The sound of the pot clanking around continued, but she was still and ready to fight. ¡°Stay back,¡± she said, a six-inch blade in her hand. ¡°I¡¯ll stick you like a dang pig, you come any closer.¡± I laughed, easing up my stance. ¡°Relax, Katy. I was just kidding.¡± I settled back down, tipping my bowl up to my mouth and slurping up the rest of the broth, ignoring her so she¡¯d calm down. ¡°So tell me about these attack ewes.¡± Jackson walked off the porch. ¡°Follow me. I¡¯ll show you the ewes.¡± I put my bowl down on the steps and walked down to be with Jackson, leaving everyone else behind to finish their meal. A moment later I heard sounds behind me and found Bodo coming up behind us. He still wasn¡¯t talking to me, but at least he had my back. I let that warm me a little and help me ignore the fact that he¡¯d been spending an awful lot of effort on hurting my feelings and acting like an immature ass. We approached a shed-like structure that couldn¡¯t possibly have been big enough to house more than a couple sheep. Maybe four, max. They must be really small ones. When Jackson got to the front of it, he reached for a flap on the side of the wall. I realized then that it had wire mesh on it. ¡°What are those? Air holes?¡± None of this made any sense to me. Jackson laughed. ¡°I guess you could call ¡®em air holes if you want. Me, I call ¡®em cages, but whatever. It all works.¡± He opened one up and reached in, pulling out something very small and gray. ¡°Dat¡¯s not a ewe,¡± said Bodo, drawing even with me. Jackson turned to fully face us. ¡°Well, it¡¯s a part of the ewes.¡± I crossed my arms over my chest. ¡°Something tells me we¡¯re being mocked right now.¡± ¡°I think so too,¡± said Bodo. ¡°Nah, it ain¡¯t like that. You just misunderstood, and I figured it¡¯d be more interesting to show you than to explain it.¡± He held out what looked like a pigeon. ¡°This here is one of the members of the Triple Bar D EWS. The Early Warnin¡¯ System we got set up with some friends in this county and a few nearby.¡± ¡°Pigeons.¡± I said simply. ¡°Well, carrier pigeons to be more specific, but yeah. Little birds.¡± Bodo stepped forward, his hands held out. He was speechless. Jackson pulled the bird back towards his chest. ¡°You can¡¯t touch it. Birds need special handlin¡¯. It ain¡¯t for everybody.¡± ¡°Bodo¡¯s an expert,¡± I said. ¡°He raises hawks.¡± Jackson frowned. ¡°That¡¯s the only threat to the EWS ¡­ them damn hawks an¡¯ peregrines an¡¯ owls. Damn vultures.¡± He held his bird up near his neck now, stroking its feathers gently as he frowned at Bodo. ¡°I will not hurt your birdt. I swear it. I love birds of all kindts.¡± I could hear the plea in his voice, and even though he was being a buttbasket to me, I hoped like heck Jackson would let him hold the dumb bird. Jackson thought about it for a couple seconds and then extended it out to Bodo. ¡°Here. Just be gentle.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± Bodo took her into his hands, being sure to keep her wings close to her body and turning her against his lower chest. ¡°How didt you train dem?¡± He looked down at the bird, rubbing her head with this thumb. ¡°When we heard that the world was gonna go in the crapper, we worked at school on some projects to help prepare. Then when school kinda died off, we just kept at it. One a-them was this carrier pigeon project. We¡¯ve got message points all over Florida and Georgia now too.¡± ¡°That is ¡­ friggin¡¯ amazing,¡± I said, totally blown away. ¡°You mean these birds actually carry messages?¡± Jackson smiled proudly. ¡°Heck yeah, they do. Look. Here¡¯s one we got a couple weeks ago.¡± He reached into his pocket and pulled out a narrow strip of paper, handing it to me. I looked at it, but it was just a bunch of letters and numbers that didn¡¯t make sense. ¡°Is this some kind of code?¡± I asked. ¡°Yup. We made it up ourselves.¡± He rocked back on his heels and then his toes, obviously very pleased with himself. And he had a right to be. This was one of the most amazing and hopeful things I¡¯d seen since walking onto the prison grounds. ¡°What does this one say?¡± Jackson walked over and pointed to the codes. ¡°Says here ¡­ ball-biter at Everglades prison. Can send friends.¡± Bodo laughed. ¡°Oh, dat¡¯s funny. You¡¯re famous, Bryn. Da testicle girl is in da prison.¡± His shoulders were quaking with laughter. I punched him in the arm. ¡°Shut up, jackass.¡± I turned my frown on Jackson. ¡°You¡¯re making that up. Not cool.¡± ¡°No, I swear to God, I ain¡¯t. I can¡¯t teach you the code ¡®cause, you know, you¡¯re a hot target and if anyone catches you they¡¯re gonna torture the secrets outta ya, but you can believe it. That¡¯s what that message says.¡± ¡°Who sent it?¡± He flipped the paper over. ¡°This one here came from the Amazons.¡± My jaw dropped open. ¡°You know the Amazon bi ¡­ wenches? Over there by the ocean?¡± ¡°Yeah. Everyone does.¡± ¡°But that¡¯s almost a hundred miles from here!¡± ¡°So? Our birds can go that far. They¡¯re champions.¡± He frowned at Bodo and took his bird back. ¡°Only thing that ever gets in the way of our operation are them birds of prey.¡± ¡°I can train dem to leaf your birds alone,¡± said Bodo, speaking in a rush. ¡°I can do dat! Dey can live togedder and dat will be okay. It¡¯s not a problem.¡± Page 20 ¡°You serious?¡± asked Jackson. ¡°Yes, I am completely serious.¡± Bodo held out his hand for a shake. ¡°I can¡¯t train all da wild birdts, but I can train da ones I work with.¡± ¡°How many you got?¡± Jackson shook his hand. ¡°Only one now. And she¡¯s kindt of lost. But I will have more later.¡± ¡°Good. You go on then and train that pigeon killin¡¯ out of ¡®em. These birds are critical to our EWS.¡± ¡°How does it work?¡± Jackson stared at me for while, long enough that it made me uncomfortable. I battled with myself but forced my hand to stay still, even though it wanted to check my nose for stray boogs. ¡°Okay, fine. I¡¯ll tell ya. But you gotta swear on your life and your boyfriend¡¯s life that you ain¡¯t never gonna tell none-a them kid-eaters what I¡¯m gonna say.¡± I crossed my heart with my finger. ¡°I swear on all that is holy. I swear on the cattle you¡¯re going to give me and the people of Haven.¡± ¡°Well, we ain¡¯t come to an agreement on that yet, but I get your meanin¡¯.¡± He turned around and walked with the bird back to her cage, putting her inside. Once it was closed again, he came back to us. ¡°All our birds have leg bands. We put ¡®em on when they¡¯re just babies. They grow up and the band is permanent. They¡¯re foot¡¯s too big for it to come off. We can put messages like that one you saw inside the band.¡± ¡°But how does the bird know where to go?¡± ¡°Before all the world went to crap, we taught ¡®em. And we¡¯re fixin¡¯ to teach some more, too. It¡¯s dangerous, going out there, but we gotta do it. The birds ain¡¯t gonna live forever.¡± ¡°How do you teach them?¡± asked Bodo, staring at Jackson intently. ¡°They teach themselves, basically. They¡¯re amazing creatures. We put them in a small portable cage and bring them about a mile away the first time. We let ¡®em go and they fly home. They always fly home. Every day we do it again, only farther and farther away each time. Eventually they can go from really far and always come right home.¡± ¡°But how do they know where home is if you have them in a cage while you transport them?¡± I asked. ¡°They use the magnetic fields in the earth and smell and sight. I¡¯m tellin¡¯ ya. They¡¯re like magic creatures, these birds. Without them, we¡¯d be in the dark all the time. I can¡¯t tell you how many times they¡¯ve saved our bacon.¡± ¡°But how do you send them somewhere else?¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s the tricky part. See, we have to get new birds trained all the time, because we can only get them to go two places: home and to their food stop.¡± ¡°Food stop?¡± ¡°Yeah. This is kinda recent in the evolution of carrier pigeons, actually.¡± He looked so serious and sounded so academic, I was picturing him lecturing a university class, even though he definitely sounded like a redneck more than a professor. ¡°Used to be they only went one way. But somebody smarter-n me figured out they¡¯d go where their food is too, and that they didn¡¯t need to roost where their food is necessarily. So we rigged it up for them to have food at one stop and their home at the other. They can go back and forth between those two places, regular as clockwork, couple times a day.¡± ¡°So that explains you getting messages to and from the Amazons. But how do you get other info? Or don¡¯t you get other info?¡± ¡°Sure, like I said ¡­ we get info from all over the state. You can imagine it like a connect-the-dots kinda map. I have links to the Amazons and Cracker Barrel and a few other places. And they have links to spots I can¡¯t quite reach. We just pass messages along, like that silly game my sister used to play when she was little: operator. Only it¡¯s more reliable ¡®cause we ain¡¯t countin¡¯ on the birds talkin¡¯. They just take the same message from point to point.¡± I was too stunned to speak. These kids had done something so amazing, I wouldn¡¯t have even dreamed it could be possible: communication over long distances. Networking on a massive scale. And secret, like a spy ring. They could totally thwart any attacks planned by the canners. ¡°I want in on this,¡± I said, feeling as passionate about it now as I did the cattle, maybe more so. Jackson smiled. ¡°I¡¯m real glad to hear you say that, because we need a contact down there. Even though it¡¯s a little worrisome that you have such a fat target on your head, the benefits are way more important now. But if you don¡¯t mind, we¡¯ll train someone else on the codes, and not you.¡± I nodded like a crazy bobble head. ¡°Yeah, no problem. Whatever you want.¡± ¡°You can teach me,¡± said Bodo, holding up his hand halfway. ¡°I already know how to take care of birdts.¡± Jackson frowned but nodded his head. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it. There¡¯s time to figure that out. Why don¡¯t we head back to the house and see what we can do about outfittin¡¯ you to leave?¡± We were just walking away when a bird appeared out of nowhere. ¡°Ya¡¯ll go on ahead. I¡¯m just gonna grab this message first.¡± Bodo and I walked back to the house. ¡°That was the most amazing thing I think I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± I said, hoping he¡¯d respond. I didn¡¯t want to be talking to myself all the way back to the house. One of the larger dogs jogged over and walked next to me, giving me the willies. He was huge, and he didn¡¯t seem very friendly. It was more like he was making sure I went where I was supposed to go. ¡°It is the second most amazing thingk I have ever seen. I think dat Nina is more better, but da pigeons are good. Definitely good.¡± ¡°I just can¡¯t believe none of the Miccosukee or Creek knew about this. It would have been so helpful for them.¡± ¡°Dey alwayss wanted to be alone. Dey wanted to hide out dare, not talk to udder people.¡± ¡°Isolation is not the answer,¡± I said, mostly to myself. Isolation was the best way to become a sitting duck as far as I was concerned. And the idea that we¡¯d have a network of friendly spies all over the state was just blowing my mind. I could see peace on the horizon. Real, lasting peace. I was almost giddy with it. We reached the porch to find all of the kids sleeping, even Chantal. Katy was sitting in a rocking chair with a big metal needle and some yarn. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked, walking up the steps. ¡°Crochet. Ever done it?¡± Thoughts of Winky sitting there like her crossed my mind. ¡°No. Never.¡± ¡°I¡¯m makin¡¯ a blanket. Can never have too many of ¡®em in the winter seems like, now that we don¡¯t have any heaters anymore.¡± She was right. Even in winter, Florida could get cold. It made me glad we were staying in a place that had tons of blankets and sheets already made. Hopefully, by the time we¡¯d need to make more, we¡¯d have looms, sheep and everything else that was part of that equation. ¡°So ya¡¯ll want some cows, eh?¡± ¡°Yeah. We really do. And we¡¯d be willing to trade something for it, but I guess we¡¯d have to go get it since we came here with nothing.¡± ¡°Well, you brought us these here hands. I guess that¡¯s a pretty fair trade for a bull and a cow.¡± I felt a little sick. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I¡¯m cool with trading people. Sorry about that.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Whatever. Your call. But we ain¡¯t just gonna let you take two animals from our herd ¡®cause you¡¯re the ball-biter. Gotta have more juice than that.¡± I sighed heavily. ¡°Please don¡¯t call me that anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach, and I really don¡¯t want to see that stew come up and land on your front porch.¡± She stopped crocheting and lifted an eyebrow at me. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t push it. Seriously, that¡¯s a memory I¡¯d like to forget forever.¡± I shuddered for effect. ¡°Whelp, I have to say, I admire a girl who¡¯d go that far to live. I might¡¯ve died that day if it were me.¡± ¡°No, you would have bit the guy too.¡± I sat down in front of her feet on the porch. ¡°Ha! Then I¡¯d be the world famous ball-biter, the girl all the kid-eaters wanna kill.¡± ¡°Why all the hate?¡± I asked. ¡°I mean, it was just one fat asshole who¡¯d had too much to drink and thought he was going to rape me. Why do I have such a big target on me now?¡± ¡°Well, the EWS say it ain¡¯t just that. I guess you also kicked a few butts up near Orlando and caused a ruckus out by the Amazons¡¯ place. And those particular kid-eaters were all related somehow. They move up and down I-95 keeping in touch. They do it the old fashioned way, though - using cars and motorcycles.¡± ¡°They¡¯re going to run out of gas eventually.¡± ¡°Yeah, maybe. Or maybe they¡¯ll figure out or find an alternative energy source, who knows. We just gotta hope they never catch on to our EWS is all.¡± ¡°What could they do to it? I mean, countries used them in the old wars, right? And they weren¡¯t a secret, but they still worked.¡± ¡°Yeah, but if them cannibals know where the control points are, they could come in and smash us up and kill the birds. We¡¯d have to start all over, and it¡¯s work, let me tell you.¡± She sighed. ¡°I ain¡¯t complainin¡¯, though. We got a good thing going on here, and even if someone comes in and smashes us up, I know we¡¯ll press on. We¡¯ve got friends now. More than we ever had before, really, even when the world was all put together right. And what¡¯s funny is, no one seems to care anymore that Jackson and me grew up on a dirt patch and talk different. We¡¯re all judged by how we survive and what we do for others now, and that¡¯s all right by me.¡± I looked around, out into the mostly empty fields and at the dogs goofing around with a stick in the dusty yard. ¡°But don¡¯t you get lonely out here with just your brother to keep you company?¡± ¡°Nah. Well, maybe a little. But that¡¯s okay. It beats being dead.¡± ¡°You know, you could come live with us.¡± ¡°In a prison?¡± She chuckled. ¡°No, thanks. Our daddy spent most of his time in one-a those places. I ain¡¯t in a hurry to continue that particular family tradition.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that, though. We¡¯re turning it into a nice place.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure you are. And maybe someday we¡¯ll join you. Who¡¯s to say what tomorrow will bring? But I thank you for the invite. That¡¯s awful generous of you. I know you got a lot of mouths to feed there.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, falling back into the reality of my life and why I was even here in the first place. I stood. ¡°We gotta get going.¡± Jackson came walking up at a fast clip from around the corner, taking two steps at a time. ¡°You¡¯re right. You gotta go now.¡± He pushed past me and into the house, letting the screen door slam behind him. ¡°What¡¯s got into him?¡± asked Katy, no longer rocking or crocheting. I shrugged. Whatever it was, it didn¡¯t look good. I stood, suddenly nervous. ¡°He got a message from one of your birds right before I came back here.¡± Katy jumped up and ran in through the front door, abandoning her yarn and needle on the chair. ¡°What does dis mean?¡± asked Bodo softly. I turned to face him. ¡°I hope there¡¯s not a problem at Haven.¡± Jackson came bursting through the front door with a shotgun in each hand. He came right up to me without stopping, shoving the heavy weapon at me. ¡°Take it.¡± He stepped to the side and did the same with Bodo. ¡°Take it.¡± He reached behind himself and pulled a box out of his pants. ¡°Take these. They¡¯re shells. You have to go. I expect to get those guns back when I see you next.¡± Page 21 ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± I asked, fear straining my voice. ¡°Your friends in the Glades are in trouble. The Miccosukees. You need to get down there and fast if you want to help.¡± ¡°How do you know that?¡± I nearly cried, freaking out about my friends and what Jackson¡¯s words actually meant for them. ¡°Amazons got the message from the ¡®hood near their place. Big old group-a kid-eaters are headin¡¯ that way. You gotta move quick.¡± He ran down the stairs and around the side of the house. I stared at Bodo, searching for solace or something in his expression that would make me feel better. He looked as panicked as me, though and was no help at all with calming my racing heart. ¡°Good luck. I hope we see you again,¡± said Katy, all her vigor gone. She sounded sad. ¡°What about us?¡± asked Chantal, sitting up and wiping her eyes. ¡°Can we go too?¡± ¡°No, you stay,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re too weak to help, and it¡¯ll be too dangerous. We¡¯ll come back for you, or we¡¯ll send someone for you. They¡¯ll ask for you by name, so you¡¯ll know they¡¯re good people. Don¡¯t forget Dane on the side of the road. Maybe you could go get him, Katy?¡± ¡°Who in the sam hill is Dane?¡± ¡°He¡¯s a friend of ours. I could show you where he is,¡± said Chantal. ¡°Fine. I got a four-wheeler with a trailer we can use if he ain¡¯t far.¡± I turned to walk down the stairs. ¡°Where are you going?¡± asked Katy. I drew up short, turning around. ¡°What do you mean? I¡¯m going to the Everglades to help my friends.¡± ¡°Well, you gotta wait for your ride.¡± She frowned at me like I was stupid. ¡°You want us to drive that truck?¡± I asked, gesturing to the semi. ¡°Dat¡¯s too loud. Dey will hear us coming from very far away.¡± Bodo was shaking his head no. ¡°No, I ain¡¯t talkin¡¯ about that truck.¡± ¡°Well, what then?!¡± I was losing my patience with her redneck accent and slow way of explaining herself. The sounds of running came from the side of the house again. And it wasn¡¯t the running of a person, either. Katy smiled. ¡°Your ride has arrived, my dear.¡± My eyeballs nearly fell out of my head when I saw Jackson riding up on a horse. He stopped with a sliding of the animal¡¯s hooves right in front of the porch, dropping down out of the saddle like a real cowboy. ¡°Here ya go,¡± he said, handing me the reins. ¡°This ain¡¯t my best horse, but she¡¯s strong, and she¡¯ll get you where you need to go. I just gotta ask you to get her back to me if you can. She¡¯s special, like all our animals are.¡± ¡°Oh my god.¡± It was all I could think to say. Bodo walked up without saying a word, taking the nearest stirrup and making an adjustment to it. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked as he walked around the front of the horse to the other side of the saddle. He made an adjustment over there too. ¡°I¡¯m fixing da stirrups. Dey are too short for me.¡± I looked at Jackson. He just shrugged back at me before addressing Bodo. ¡°Guess you know what you¡¯re doin¡¯. That¡¯s good news.¡± Jackson moved to the side so Bodo could take the reins from me. Putting his foot in the stirrup on the left side of the horse, Bodo hiked himself up, swinging his other leg over until he was straddling the beast. He sat up in that damn saddle like he¡¯d done it every day of his life. ¡°Uhhhh ¡­¡± I was so stunned, no words were coming. We were about to enter a battle on a massive scale, and the boy I loved, who was ignoring me and hurting me on purpose with his pettiness, was sitting up there like a friggin¡¯ cowboy supermodel. ¡°Come closer, and I¡¯ll give you a leg up,¡± said Jackson. ¡°But first, put them shells in your pockets.¡± I placed my shotgun on the ground and opened the box that was on the stairs. Pulling out the shotgun shells a handful at a time, I shoved them into my front pockets until they bulged. I brought the ones that wouldn¡¯t fit over to Bodo and he put them in his pockets. ¡°Be right back!¡± said Katy, running back into the house as I was finishing up. I walked back over to the horse, eying it with trepidation. It was so tall. Falling from that height would be more than painful. ¡°Bend your leg at the knee,¡± instructed Jackson. I was looking up at Bodo, but he was just staring straight ahead, his shotgun lying perpendicular across the front of the saddle, muzzle pointing out towards the truck. I bent my leg as instructed and Jackson put his hand on my shin. ¡°Use the pressure on your leg to get up.¡± This was different then the laced-fingers technique I¡¯d seen before, but it worked just as well. As I pushed down on my leg, trying to straighten it, he pushed up and hoisted me to a point that I could throw my other leg over the back of the horse. I wasn¡¯t on the saddle, but I had a bit of blanket under me, just in front of the round part of the horse¡¯s rump. I hurriedly wrapped my arms around Bodo¡¯s waist. I¡¯d been on a horse before, but they scared me; I wasn¡¯t afraid to admit that. Now in addition to worrying about my friends being attacked, I was panicking that I was going to break my neck by falling off the back of a horse. ¡°You can run her full out for about a hour, maybe two. That¡¯ll get you there. But please, when you¡¯re done, point her home and smack her hard on the bum. Don¡¯t let her stay there.¡± ¡°Why?¡± I asked totally mystified. ¡°I mean, why smack her on the butt?¡± ¡°She¡¯ll find her way back home. She just needs a little motivation to get going.¡± ¡°Like the birds?¡± How come I didn¡¯t know all these animals had such a strong sense of home? Are they so different from us, really? Does everyone and every thing need a place to call home and feel safe in? ¡°Yeah, kinda. But different. Anyway, good luck. You¡¯d better go.¡± Jackson bent down and picked up my shotgun. Katy came bursting out of the front door, carrying some leather straps with her. ¡°Put these on! So you don¡¯t have to hold the guns!¡± Jackson handed up two shotgun holsters. After a little bit of finagling I was finally able to attach it to my body and get the gun inside, over my back. I felt like a real cowboy outlaw now. Only one that didn¡¯t know what the hell she was doing. ¡°You sure you know how to do this?¡± I asked Bodo as he adjusted his holster. ¡°Yes. I had many horses in my life.¡± He slapped the reins a little and kicked the horse in her sides, making a clicking noise with his tongue. There was so much about my boyfriend I didn¡¯t know - things he hadn¡¯t told me. And for the life of me, I couldn¡¯t figure out if it was because he¡¯d withheld the information deliberately or because I just hadn¡¯t bothered to ask. I turned to watch the ranch fading behind me as we transitioned from a walk to a trot. Every face looking back at me had an expression of worry. I had to turn back and hold onto Bodo tighter so I didn¡¯t start thinking about all the ways I could die. The jarring trot quickly turned into a gallop that threatened to throw me off the horse¡¯s rear end. Bodo pointed the horse to the road that would take us to the highway, and in no time we were running down the shoulder of I-95, headed in the direction of Kahayatle. I held on for dear life, praying to my father and any invisible gods who might be listening. Please don¡¯t let us die, please don¡¯t let us die, please don¡¯t let us die¡­ Chapter Five THE HORSE WAS FOAMING AT the mouth with white gooey stuff by the time we arrived at the small store that used to serve as a canoe rental place. Bodo got down, reaching up without a word to help me off, taking me by the waist and lifting me down. I had a hard time standing when I reached the ground, my butt and back were sore from the constant pounding they¡¯d endured on our trip. I massaged my lower back through my shirt as I got my equilibrium back. I was so not in fighting shape right now. Bodo didn¡¯t seem bothered by the hard ride at all. He turned the horse around, tied the reins to the saddle horn and whacked her really hard on the butt. The horse jumped and took off, running like a bat out of hell back towards home. I sent out a silent prayer that she¡¯d make it, because this place surely was hell compared to where she was from. The store had been destroyed. Someone had set it on fire, and there wasn¡¯t much left. Some of the nearby trees were also scorched. ¡°Wait here,¡± said Bodo, running in the direction I¡¯d seen Rob go before. In less than a minute he was back. ¡°Da bikes are still here. I think dey are still in da swamp.¡± I walked over to the top of the bank that looked down to the docks. ¡°There aren¡¯t any canoes here. What are we going to do?¡± Bodo shrugged. ¡°Swim.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve gotta be friggin kidding me. Swim? Are you serious?¡± He got to the bank and took his gun off, putting it up on his head. ¡°The shells!¡± I yelled, just as he was stepping into the water. He tugged out the few I¡¯d given him and put them in his teeth. ¡°What are you doing?!¡± I screeched as he entered the water again. He turned to me and just frowned for a few seconds before jerking his head and turning away. He went in deeper. ¡°Jesus flippin¡¯ Christ,¡± I mumbled, whipping my holster off and dropping my weapon to the ground. I quickly took off my t-shirt and threw it at my feet. Next came all the shells out of my pockets, which I quickly tied up in the flimsy cotton. I put as tight a knot in it as I could and then grabbed it in my teeth. It was heavy, but manageable. I stood there staring at the river in my shorts and bra, pissed and scared to death. Several mosquitos feasted on my exposed skin as I debated entering the gator-infested water. I made my decision, the only one I could make really, and snagged the shotgun still in the holster from the piles of rotten pine needles. I ran back to the edge of the bank, sliding down to the bottom and nearly biting the dust I got going so fast. I stumbled down the short beach and into the water, taking long strides so I could catch up to Bodo. I held my gun up above my head and my chin back, doing everything I could to keep my weapon and my shells dry. I couldn¡¯t even imagine how we were going to do this. The water was getting deep quickly, and the current was strong enough that it was pushing me along, threatening a decent soaking if I lost my footing. I was pretty sure the gun wouldn¡¯t work if it got wet. Bodo took the few shells he had out of his mouth. ¡°Come to da side,¡± he said, moving to walk near the banks of the river where it was much shallower but lined at the bottom with dead wood and tangled roots of nearby trees. I pulled my t-shirt out of my mouth, holding it up with one hand while the other held the heavy gun. ¡°That¡¯s where the gators are,¡± I whispered, my tone obviously revealing my stress. ¡°Da gators are everywhere. Just ignore da fear. If dey attack, we haff da guns.¡± ¡°But ¡­ you can¡¯t shoot a gator underwater!¡± He didn¡¯t say anything in response. He just shoved the shells back into his mouth. This had to be the stupidest non-plan in the history of our new world. I was close to abandoning it completely and climbing out of the river when I saw the end of a canoe sticking out of some tree roots up ahead. I was all set to shout with joy when Bodo threw his finger up to his face in a shushing gesture. He glared at me, making gestures with his hand to look around. I stopped moving and went as silent as possible, searching for signs of enemies hiding in the trees around us. All I could hear was the water rushing past and the occasional screech of birds. They wouldn¡¯t be doing that if there were canners here. I was sure of it. Page 22 I walked over to Bodo and whispered in his ear. ¡°Give me your gun. Go get that damn canoe. Or I¡¯ll do it.¡± He handed me his gun without argument, leaving me to swim across the water. Grabbing the edge of it, he swam in a modified backstroke to bring it over to where I battled the current, not as close to the edge as I wanted to be. The speed of the water carried Bodo downstream, so I struggled along to meet him where he finally landed on the banks. My arms were trembling with the effort of holding both guns above the water. When I reached the canoe, I threw them both over the edge to fall inside. I had expected them to make a hell of a clattering, but didn¡¯t care; it was either that or lose them to the river. But something in the boat muffled the sound of the guns¡¯ landing. My heart froze as I considered what that might be. I threw the shells in next and then grabbed the edge of the canoe, tipping it down towards me. Inside was a body dressed in animal hide and moccasins. There was a lot of blood and the person who it had come from wasn¡¯t moving. ¡°Jason!¡± I yelled, a sharp gasp escaping my lips as I realized I was calling every murdering canner my way with my shouts. ¡°Jason,¡± I said more quietly, jumping up to smack him on the head, trying to get a response from him. The boat rocked my way, tipping really far to the side. ¡°Don¡¯t!¡± growled Bodo. ¡°You¡¯re going to tip it ofer, and we needt to get inside.¡± ¡°But Jason¡¯s in there.¡± I was so confused. Why was he out here in a canoe all by himself? And why was he covered in blood? ¡°He¡¯s dead,¡± said Bodo, reaching in and grabbing Jason¡¯s shirt. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked, freaking out because it looked like he was trying to pull Jason out. ¡°We haff to get in da canoe and he hass to come out.¡± He grunted with the effort of hauling Jason¡¯s lifeless body towards him. ¡°He might not be dead!¡± I said, nearly crying now. ¡°You have to be sure! And you can¡¯t just leave him here in the water for the gators!¡± ¡°We can¡¯t keep him in da boat. Get back. Get outta da way.¡± He wasn¡¯t paying me any attention, too focused on wrestling around with Jason¡¯s body. I punched Bodo in the arm, using my knuckles to get his attention. ¡°Hey! Asshole! We¡¯re not dumping him!¡± Bodo stopped his struggles with Jason and glared at me. ¡°You want to die? Fine, den. Go aheadt and die.¡± He started swimming away. My heart was breaking into a hundred different pieces. I watched Bodo¡¯s body cutting through the water cleanly, like he didn¡¯t have a care in the world - like a boy we called a friend wasn¡¯t bloody and dead in this boat I was hanging onto. Like we hadn¡¯t ever been in love. ¡°What is your friggin¡¯ problem?¡± I asked, my voice full of the tears that I was battling to keep from falling. This was so not the time to be disintegrating into girly emotions. He turned to tread water. ¡°You needt to ask me dat? Right now?¡± ¡°Yes! I do!¡± I whisper-screamed at him. ¡°I really do. Is what I did so bad that it can¡¯t be forgiven? That you have to hate me forever? Didn¡¯t we have something special that meant something to you?¡± He stared at me with a hard look for a what felt like a long time. Then he swam back, never breaking eye contact with me. When he finally got to the side of the boat, he grabbed the edge of it, facing me from not more than six inches away. ¡°What you did ¡­ it hurt my feelingss. I trusted you.¡± His words made me angry. Angrier than angry. ¡°Trust? You¡¯re talking about trust? You of all people should watch your step when that word comes up, Bodo.¡± I had expected him to get mad, but that was not the emotion that came to the surface. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± he asked. Suspicious. Guilty. He did something! My heart was beating so hard against my ribcage I was sure he¡¯d see it. ¡°You know exactly what I¡¯m talking about. You¡¯re no one to be talking about being trustworthy.¡± I really wasn¡¯t sure what I was referring to; in my mind it could have been the fact that he¡¯d hidden Nina from me, or his history, or any number of things. But for some reason, whatever was going through his mind was making him lose some of his anger. Now he looked more scared or bratty than anything else. ¡°Whatever dey said, it¡¯s not true.¡± He frowned. My mind was going a million miles an hour. Who¡¯s they? What could they have said? Does he mean kids back at Haven? Kahayatle? The Amazons? It could have been anyone at this point. I decided now was not the time to try and worm it out of him. I had to play it cool until we were safe again. Then I would totally take him down for whatever it was that had him so worried right now. ¡°Let¡¯s just forget about it for now and deal with it later. We need to put Jason up on the bank.¡± ¡°He¡¯s too heavy.¡± Bodo wasn¡¯t fighting me nearly as much now. Guilt, guilt, guilt. He¡¯s done something. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. Energy surged into my body, giving me superhuman strength. I walked over to the edge of the river, hauling the canoe with me. I scrambled out of the water and grabbed the edge of the boat, pulling it up to the edge as far as I could. It wouldn¡¯t stay there long, but I only needed it to be there for a minute. I reached inside and grabbed Jason by the shoulders of his shirt. Shaking him hard, I said, ¡°Jason. Jason. Are you okay?¡± His head lolled to the side and for the first time I noticed that his eyes were open. I put my fingers on his neck, unable to feel a pulse. ¡°He¡¯s dead,¡± I said softly. ¡°I already told you dat. He has a gunshot in his chest. Move him to da land. Come on.¡± Bodo stepped out and leaned into the boat, taking Jason by the side of his shirt. Together, we pulled his stiff body out of the canoe and dragged him up onto the bank, hiding his remains amidst the tree roots that rose up out of the water in a tangle. ¡°What¡¯s going to happen to him here?¡± I asked, as Bodo tipped the canoe a little, trying to get water in there to wash out some of the blood that had pooled and coagulated in the bottom. The smell of iron was strong, making my stomach churn. ¡°Probably da gators will get him.¡± I swallowed past the huge lump in my throat, barely able to speak. ¡°But that¡¯s ¡­ that¡¯s not right.¡± Tears burned my eyes. ¡°It¡¯s fine. Dat¡¯s da circle of life. He¡¯s gone now. Dat¡¯s just da shell.¡± I knew he was right, but it still felt terrible to leave Jason here like this. He¡¯d helped save those kids from the canners and had always been very loyal to his people. ¡°Could you leave me out here like this?¡± I asked. It was a loaded question, but I had to hear the answer. ¡°Of course not. Get in the canoe,¡± he said, not looking at me. ¡°The canners are going to pay for doing this,¡± I said, getting in while he steadied it. I prayed Rob, Winky, and Paci had gone directly to the ranches and not tried to go through here first. I didn¡¯t want to find anymore friends like this. I tried to avoid stepping in the remaining blood but it was impossible - the stuff was everywhere, staining the whole inside of the boat pink and red. ¡°Yes. Dey are.¡± Bodo took up the paddle that was inside the boat, pushing us off the bank and pointing us downriver. ¡°Get da guns ready,¡± he said. I picked them both up, resting one on each thigh. I was at the front of the boat with an index finger on each trigger. If any canner showed his face in front of us, he was going to get it blown off. We came around a bend in the river we knew well, the place were we used to pull boats up when we were going to the ceremonial hut of the Miccosukee tribe who lived here. Or who had lived here before the asshole canners had come in and ruined everything. Even from the water we could hear the laughing and shouting. I turned to look at Bodo. ¡°Who do you think that is?¡± ¡°Not da Meeks or da Creeks. Dey are never dat loud.¡± ¡°Or obnoxious,¡± I said, moving my fingers so they were tighter on the triggers. Only when the front of the boat bumped into the shore did I abandon my post and get out to secure the canoe to some nearby roots, using the vine-ropes that were always there for that purpose. There were three other boats already there. Judging from the moccasin I saw partway over the edge of one, inside it was the body of another kid we knew. I stepped into the water, moving over to that boat. I reached inside and turned the body closer to me, moving the boy onto his back. ¡°Oh my god,¡± I jerked my hand back. When Kowi groaned, it felt like my heart had leaped up into my throat to choke me. ¡°Kowi!¡± I whisper-screamed. ¡°Oh my god, Kowi! What are you doing here?!¡± There was too much blood in the bottom of the boat. Way too much blood. ¡°They surprised us,¡± he said softly. Blood was coming out of his mouth and staining his teeth. When he breathed out I smelled the iron of it. ¡°Why are you still here?¡± I asked. ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to be at the ranch?¡± ¡°I had to come back ¡­ wait. Find Coli ¡­¡± He coughed a little, more blood coming out of his mouth to run down his face. ¡°Who else came back?¡± I asked, feeling so sick I could hardly keep from vomiting. My face was burning with the increase in blood pressure. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. ¡°¡­ Mandy¡­ Jason ¡­¡± His voice gave out before he could finish. Maybe there were more kids here, maybe not, but I was never going to know. I could see the light leaving his eyes as his body went completely slack. ¡°Oh my god,¡± I whispered, reaching out and putting my hand on his cheek. It was still warm and spiked with beard stubble. Tears flowed down my face and I had to struggle to keep the sobs silent. This was so unfair. Such a needless, useless waste of life. I was no preacher¡¯s kid like Jamal and Ronald, but I sure wished I was in that moment. I couldn¡¯t think of the right words to send Kowi on his way, and for some reason, it felt really important to me in that moment that I do this. The sorrow I felt at losing him from this world was almost too much to bear. He was such a proud, good man - a real leader. And his life had been taken in the cruelest of ways, when he was trying to take care of his people. He died not even knowing if he¡¯d been successful. Through my sobs, I said the prayer that came from somewhere out in the ether. ¡°Kowi, I¡¯ll remember you for the rest of my life. And if I ever have kids, they¡¯ll remember you too. I promise to take care of your people and get them to safety. Have a safe journey.¡± I pushed his lids closed and stepped back from the canoe. I pulled the narrow boat free of its moorings and sent it down river, praying that the spirits who inhabited this place would guide him wherever he needed to go. I looked up into the sky after the boat turned a corner. ¡°Dad, please take care of him. He¡¯s one of the good ones.¡± A vision of my father standing at the end of a tunnel of light with his arms held out filled me with a brief sense of peace. I¡¯d probably made the whole thing up in my mind just to move past the pain that was tearing me up inside, but a piece of me felt like Kowi was in good hands now, on his way to heaven or wherever it was that my dad was waiting for me. I stood there in the water until I couldn¡¯t see Kowi¡¯s boat anymore. And now it was time for me to take care of business, down here on Earth. Down here where kids who murdered others in cold blood paid the ultimate price. Murderous rage replaced the sorrow I had for Kowi¡¯s untimely and unfair end, filling my every cell. Death had come to Kahayatle in the form of soulless canners, and now death was going to come once again - in the form of me. Bryn Mathis. Ball-biter. The girl who wouldn¡¯t quit until every one of those cold-blooded bastards paid for the pain they¡¯d caused. Page 23 I took my gun and t-shirt full of shotgun shells and stepped out of the water, following the path through the trees that would lead me to the hut. I paid no mind to Bodo behind me. He could go or stay as far as I was concerned. I was on a mission. Using the techniques taught to me by Kowi¡¯s mate, I made my way soundlessly towards the murderers. All the lessons Coli had tried to teach me suddenly fell into place, rendering me a ruthless and silent assassin. A killing machine. And I wasn¡¯t going to stop until I¡¯d taken them all out. I am Nokosi, and you are done today, canners. Done. The idiots had a fire going in the middle of the hut, not caring at all that it would likely burn the place down eventually. They were too busy eating and drinking something alcoholic to care about anything but themselves. I moved into position behind a large cypress tree. Bodo came up behind me a few seconds later. ¡°What is da plan?¡± he whispered in my ear. There was no danger of anyone overhearing us, they were being so loud. ¡°I¡¯m going to kill every single one of them.¡± I put my shells down on the ground in front of me and got busy untying the knot that held them all in my t-shirt. Once they were free, I hurriedly put my shirt on, making sure to stay ducked down so they wouldn¡¯t see my arms come up over the branch and the part of the trunk that kept us hidden. I shoved the shells in my pockets when I was dressed again, giving a few more to Bodo. ¡°I will go around, and we can get dem in a cross-fire,¡± he suggested. I nodded. I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d wait for him to get to his final spot before I started, but whatever. As long as we took them down, it didn¡¯t matter to me where he was. He left without saying another word and without a kiss goodbye. I didn¡¯t know if I was relieved or sad about that or if I would even accept a kiss from him if he offered it. There were too may unanswered questions swirling around right now. I waited a minute or two after Bodo left, trying to figure out how many canners there were. Using a peephole made by the high and strangely shaped tree roots, I counted ten in the hut; but that didn¡¯t mean there weren¡¯t more close by. The assholes were drunk, and I already knew from my ball-biting incident that they tended to wander when they were that way. A crunching of leaves off to my left caused me to freeze in fright. I turned my head ever-so-slowly, my eyes nearly falling out of my head when I saw a guy passing just to my left. If he turned to look at me, there would be no way he could miss me. My gun was hanging at my right side. I quickly weighed my options. I could lift the gun, twist, and shoot him, starting the war between me and the rest of them right then, right now before Bodo got in position. Or I could wait it out for the few seconds it would take him to pass by. Maybe he wouldn¡¯t look. I needed more time to plan this attack. I wasn¡¯t ready yet. Please God, let him go and not see me! All of my hopes and prayers were for nothing. No sooner had I decided to wait him out, than he turned and faced me. He stopped walking for a couple seconds, frowned, and then opened up his mouth to shout, ¡°Hey! What are you doing over there?¡± A shot rang out and his body jerked hard as it was flung back into the leaves. Two seconds after calling me out, he laid there motionless, crimson spreading across his chest from a gaping wound, put there obviously by a shotgun. Bodo! Bodo had very possibly just saved my life. And now the war was on. I lifted my gun up and stepped onto a root, elevating myself so I could shoot between some branches. Another boom came from across the clearing and a canner standing near the fire went down, landing right in it. He screamed bloody murder as sparks flew up everywhere, but his efforts didn¡¯t last long. He stopped moving before he was fully free of the flames and soon his shirt was on fire. The smell of cooking human made my stomach roll. Canners who¡¯d been sitting nearby dove out of the way, yelling and scrambling for nearby weapons. Smoke from the burning body started to fill the space, choking them until one of them got smart enough to drag his former friend free by his feet. Bottles were flying into the trees and smashing into pieces as they hit branches or trunks. Apparently the drunker canners thought launching empty beers would save their lives. It was utter chaos. I wasted no time in the ensuing panic. Taking aim at the closest guy, I pulled the trigger. The kickback was harsh, but not as bad as I¡¯d expected. He fell forward, landing on top of the burned guy. I took another shot without stopping to consider what I was doing, bringing another kid down. I forced myself to ignore the awful realization that I¡¯d just taken two human lives into my hands and snuffed them out without a second thought. It was them or me and my friends. It was an easy decision. It had to be. Two more shots came from across the hut, taking down one more kid, but missing the other intended victim. I quickly pulled my gun back and split the barrel away, lifting it up and tipping it so the spent shell casings could fall out. I grabbed two more shells out of my pocket and slammed them into the empty chambers, pushing the gun back together when I was done. Sighting down the end of the barrel, I took aim again. The canners were harder to take out now, hiding behind trees or dead bodies, but I picked two more off without too much trouble and watched with sick satisfaction as they fell down into the trees. ¡°Who¡¯s there?!¡± came a shout, slightly off to my right. I reloaded and put my gun back up, swinging it over to try and find the source of the yelling. I knew it wasn¡¯t Bodo, and I didn¡¯t recognize the voice as one of my friends. I said nothing in response. ¡°Come out and play, why don¡¯t you?¡± yelled Bodo, sounding way too happy about what we were doing. He seemed like he was enjoying being caught up in the battle. It was probably just the adrenaline talking. He was almost directly across from me now. I couldn¡¯t see him, but his voice was coming through the trees, near where the Miccosukee used to put the food. ¡°You¡¯re gonna die, asshole,¡± came the canner voice. ¡°Show your face so I can blow it off.¡± A shot was fired, and I waited in tense silence. Did someone just kill Bodo? ¡°Dare! I just shot your friend. Now you can come for your turn,¡± Bodo taunted. His voice was a little to my left now, but still across the clearing. I breathed a sigh of relief. One more down. That left five more. At least of the ten I¡¯d originally seen, but that didn¡¯t count any canners hiding in the trees or camping out somewhere else in the swamp. I heard nothing for a while and no one showed his face near the hut anymore. I was struggling, trying to figure out what else I could do to flush them out when I heard someone shouting and a single shot fired. ¡°Back to the fire, guys!¡± yelled a stranger. ¡°I got the shooter.¡± Branches were moving a little to the left, in the last place I¡¯d seen Bodo. No! Not Bodo! ¡°There¡¯s more than one!¡± shouted another guy. ¡°Don¡¯t go out in the open!¡± Bodo came stumbling out into the hut, his face bleeding on one side, a wound somewhere near his temple. My heart stopped beating for a few precious seconds as I evaluated our position. The five remaining canners came out slowly to join their friend, every single one of them holding a gun pointed at Bodo. ¡°Come out, or we¡¯ll shoot him!¡± The canner nearest Bodo raised his gun and pointed it at Bodo¡¯s heart. I had no time to come up with a plan, but the math was easy; there were five of them, one of me, and Bodo was dead meat if I didn¡¯t do something fast. They would probably kill us both eventually, but they¡¯d definitely kill Bodo if I didn¡¯t get my butt out there. Maybe I had a chance of negotiating something if I could just talk to them. And then maybe I¡¯d get a chance to break their faces if I could find out a way to separate them from their guns. ¡°I¡¯m coming out!¡± I yelled, putting my weapon against the side of the tree. I was breaking my own rule: leave to live another day, leave your fallen comrades behind. I couldn¡¯t do that to Bodo, even when he was being a turd to me. I hoped I wouldn¡¯t live to regret this decision. The image of Kowi taking his last breath did nothing to help me. All it did was make me want to run out there and kill the whole bunch of them, but I had to be smart and take my time, wait for my moment. ¡°No! Don¡¯t come out!¡± yelled Bodo. The canner standing behind him hit him over the head with the butt of his gun. It didn¡¯t knock Bodo out, but it did make him stumble. More blood poured down his head as he swayed and fell to his knees. ¡°Put your guns away, and I¡¯ll come out!¡± I yelled. It was worth a shot. Come on! Think, think, think! Come up with a plan! ¡°Dude, it¡¯s just a chick,¡± scoffed one of the canners. He stuck his gun in the front of his pants. He faced my general direction, looking out into the trees. ¡°Well! Come on then! Don¡¯t keep us waiting!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not putting my gun away,¡± said one of the smaller guys. ¡°Could be the ball-biter. I like my balls where they are.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not the ball-biter!¡± I yelled, thinking maybe I could make them believe I was harmless so they¡¯d let their guard down. They were afraid of a tough-as-nails girl, so I had to be the opposite. Time to turn on the sexy. It was my only hope of survival. I knew their credo: Rape before murder. They were savage but predictable. I had to get them to think of me as a piece of ass and not a hunk of meat. And definitely not a ball-biter. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of her, though, that ball-biter girl,¡± I continued. ¡°That¡¯s just gross, all that ball-biting. I don¡¯t do stuff like that. Balls are my friends.¡± I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. Flirting with canners did not come naturally, apparently. ¡°Just stop talking and come out. I¡¯m running out of patience.¡± The guy behind Bodo shook his gun towards Bodo¡¯s head, and I could tell from his tone he wasn¡¯t kidding. I quickly flipped the bottom of my t-shirt up through the neck hole and pulled it down, making a lame type of halter top, hoping it would make me more appealing to these rapists. Buying time until I could come up with a plan was the only thing I could think to do at this point. I pulled my shorts down a little too, exposing my hips as best I could. They were bony, and my six-pack abs probably did away with any femininity I was going for, but what the heck ¡­ it was worth a try. I pulled all the shells out of my pockets and left them on the ground under some leaves. I stepped out from behind the tree and picked my way over the roots and dead branches towards the guys, acting as dainty as I knew how and making sure to squeal a little every time I slipped intentionally. ¡°Oh my god, this swamp is so icky! How do you guys stand living here? My nails are totally ruined.¡± I stopped about ten feet away from the closest canner and looked at my fingers in disgust, making sure not to share eye contact with any of them. I didn¡¯t want them to feel threatened; the more they bought into my helpless girl act, the better off Bodo and I would be, at least in the short term. I pouted. ¡°Dang it. I wish I had some nail polish.¡± One of the guys snorted. ¡°Are you kidding? Nail polish? Out here?¡± I held up my hands, nails out. ¡°Do I look like I¡¯m kidding?¡± I dropped my arms to my sides and bit my lower lip for a few seconds, making sure they all saw my damsel-in-distress act. I blinked a few times rapidly. ¡°Wow. You guys ¡­ you look serious. Are you going to let us go or what?¡± I was a little disturbed at how easily the air-head thing was coming to me. I was totally channeling the girl in Clueless. They couldn¡¯t possibly believe I was this stupid. Guns lowered, and all but one canner put their weapons in the waistbands of their pants. Only the one holding Bodo kept his out and aimed at the ground near where Bodo was still on his knees. Page 24 ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± the one nearest me asked. ¡°Katy.¡± It was the first name that popped into my head, and I immediately kicked myself mentally for using it. Chances were these guys would make it out of here and I wouldn¡¯t; I just hoped they were getting a good look at me now and wouldn¡¯t mistake me for the real Katy later if they ever found their way to her ranch. ¡°Katy ¡­ where are you and this guy from?¡± asked the one with the gun. His suspicion was coming off him in waves. ¡°He¡¯s German, right?¡± Something about the way he said that made alarm bells ring like mad in my head. If they¡¯d heard about the ball-biter, they¡¯d probably heard about the goofy German kid too. ¡°German? Heck no. He¡¯s from Lithuania.¡± Again. Information coming from my butt. I didn¡¯t even know where Lithuania was on a map. Is it near Greece? Hungary? Italy? Africa? ¡°Where the hell is that?¡± asked one of the guys, his face all screwed up in confusion. ¡°Is that even a real place?¡± ¡°Of course it is,¡± said Bodo, sounding disgusted. ¡°Lithuania iss next to Poland. You¡¯ve heard of Poland, I hope.¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve heard of it. It¡¯s were all the polacks come from,¡± said the small guy, laughing at his own joke. ¡°No, it¡¯s not. It¡¯s where da Polish are from. Don¡¯t be ignorant.¡± I nearly crossed my eyes at Bodo¡¯s stupid comment. Here I was playing Airhead Barbie to save our asses, and he was egging them on. ¡°I¡¯m not ignorant just because I call a dumbass like you a polack, you fucking polack.¡± The little guy moved forward very aggressively. I could picture a kick to the face coming very soon on Bodo¡¯s horizon. I coughed a few times fluttering my hands in front of my face to get their attention. I even jumped up and down a few times for good measure. If I had thought it would work, I would have done a cheerleading kick too. ¡°Oh my god, do you guys have any water? I¡¯m super thirsty. All there is around here is salt water. And bugs! Ew! Get away!¡± I continued batting the air like crazy. ¡°What are you even doing here?¡± asked the one with the gun trained on Bodo. ¡°You didn¡¯t just wander into the swamp.¡± Thankfully the little canner stopped advancing on Bodo. I¡¯d earned my boyfriend a temporary reprieve. I begged him in my mind to quit doing stupid stuff because I didn¡¯t know how much longer I could keep this up. Being a space cadet was surely emptying my brain of much needed brain cells. I jumped in to answer. ¡°No, we didn¡¯t wander in. No way. We were being held captive by those stupid indian kids. We just got out. We escaped.¡± ¡°Where were you?¡± asked one of them. ¡°And why are you wearing moccasins if you¡¯re not with them?¡± ¡°You like them?¡± I said, pasting the sunniest smile on my face possible. I moved my legs back and forth, twisting around to show them off as I looked down at my feet. ¡°They give them to everyone they capture. It¡¯s pretty nice, if you ask me. My other shoes really stunk. I hate smelly shoes, don¡¯t you?¡± I looked back up at them, careful not to look at their disgusting feet, knowing they were probably spattered with gore. I imagined I could smell them from here. ¡°Where were you?¡± repeated the guy with the gun. His tone said he couldn¡¯t give a rat¡¯s ass about my cute boots. Hopefully he wouldn¡¯t bother to check inside them, since I hoped to get close enough to use the blade I kept there. ¡°Back there, somewhere,¡± I said, gesturing with my thumb behind me. I knew there was nothing back there, or at least I hoped there wasn¡¯t. I wouldn¡¯t want them investigating my so-called prison and coming upon some of my friends. I pointed to Bodo. ¡°Billy there overpowered our guards and killed them and took their guns. That¡¯s how we ended up here.¡± ¡°Then why were you shooting at us?¡± asked the little one. ¡°Because! Duh! How were we supposed to know you¡¯re the good guys. You¡¯re here hanging out with those people.¡± I let them think I had a thing against the kids in Kahayatle, praying they were prejudiced dipshits. Four of the five didn¡¯t disappoint, nodding their heads and looking at each other. But the one with the gun wasn¡¯t buying it. I could tell by his expression. ¡°Sit down over there,¡± he said, waving the gun at a place just off to my right where a fallen log was placed for people to eat on. I took a seat on the far side of it, tearing my gaze away from Bodo so I¡¯d appear unconcerned and stupid. Only a complete idiot would feel safe in the company of these savages. I had to hope that their plan was to keep our meat fresh before they ate it later. From the looks of it, they¡¯d already had dinner. I refused to look at the pile of refuse off to the side of the hut. ¡°What are we gonna do with them?¡± asked the small guy in a quiet voice. He apparently thought I was not only a complete bimbo, but also deaf as well. He seemed to be talking for everyone, because the rest of them looked to their leader for the answer. ¡°What we usually do with our captives,¡± he said, no emotion in his voice. ¡°Even the girl?¡± asked one of the larger ones. He kept looking over at me as he waited for his boss¡¯s answer. I could practically see him drooling. I gave him a shy smile, hoping to get him even more agitated. Just five seconds behind a tree, assmunch. That¡¯s all I need. The guy with the gun smiled, revealing dark yellow teeth. ¡°Eventually. But we can have some fun first.¡± Oh, you magnanimous fuckwad. You are so going to say goodbye to your nuts soon. He totally just granted these guys permission to rape me. Maybe Bodo too. How had they become so depraved? All the guys smiled, high-fiving each other before turning to face me. ¡°Leaff her alone,¡± growled Bodo, acting like he was going to stand. The guy with the gun put his foot in Bodo¡¯s back and shoved him hard, sending him towards one of the dead bodies near the fire, where Bodo landed on his stomach. ¡°Shut the hell up.¡± He gestured with his chin at one of his cohorts. ¡°Tie this asshole up. We¡¯ll let him watch before we ¡­ invite him to dinner.¡± ¡°Yeah, sure thing,¡± said the kid, reaching into a nearby duffle bag and coming out with some twine. I watched as he made quick work of hog-tying Bodo, leaving him to lie on his side, facing me. The others slowly walked towards the log where I was sitting, so I stood up, still doing the shy airhead thing. I had to keep it up as long as I could, until I could get an advantage and go for it. ¡°So what¡¯s up, guys? Are we um ¡­ going to um ¡­ drink some water together or something?¡± ¡°Or something,¡± said the closest one in a menacing tone. ¡°Do you mean have sex? Because I just want to warn you that I¡¯m on my period right now.¡± I gave them a chagrined expression. ¡°Sorry. It¡¯s kind of gross, I know. If you can wait a few days I¡¯ll be okay again.¡± I smiled and nodded, as if I found the idea appealing. Could they really be so stupid to believe this act? Please let them be that stupid! My face started to tremble with the effort of holding my fake smile in place. Two of them stopped walking upon hearing the news of my monthly business, but the other two weren¡¯t dissuaded. ¡°Don¡¯t matter to me,¡± said one of them. ¡°Me neither,¡± said the other, shrugging his shoulders. I held up my hands as I walked backwards, aiming myself down the path that led to the river. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t this be more fun if we were one-on-one? You could take turns, maybe? I really like having sex. I¡¯ll make it really good for you.¡± I had no idea if girls really talked like this, but it seemed to be working. They were slowing down and looking at each other, considering my offer. We were out of range of the other guys now, and I was hoping they wouldn¡¯t hear what I was saying. The one holding Bodo seemed much smarter than the others, and I wasn¡¯t entirely sure he was buying my act. I just needed a few more minutes and a little more distance between us before I could start my plan: Operation Ball-Biter Death Patrol. I wasn¡¯t going to be biting any testicles if I could help it, but I¡¯d do pretty much anything else I needed to in order to put these a-holes out of their misery. Kowi could never get his life back, but I could get him the revenge he deserved. I continued pulling sentences out of I don¡¯t even want to know where, trying to tempt the canners into my love web. I¡¯d never even seen a porno before, so my only experience was with Bodo, and that was nothing like what these monsters would be planning for me. ¡°Whatever you want, guys, it¡¯s all good for me. On top, on bottom, on the side, upside down, diagonal, whatever.¡± The guy closest to me frowned. ¡°Upside down? What the hell are you talking about?¡± ¡°You know.¡± I smiled conspiratorially. ¡°Upside down. Where you and I ¡­ never mind. How about if I just show you?¡± I reached out to take his hand, trying not to convulse in disgust at the feel of his skin on mine. ¡°Don¡¯t do it! Katy!! Don¡¯t do it!¡± Bodo¡¯s voice came through the trees, and then the sound of him being beaten came too. I swallowed hard, my resolve strengthening. I had to get these guys out of the picture before that canner killed Bodo. ¡°Let¡¯s just go behind this tree so we can have a little privacy.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll just hang back right here,¡± said the second guy, stopping on the path. ¡°Don¡¯t use her all up, though. Better make sure there¡¯s some left for me.¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry!¡± I said, cheerfully; and I was finally cheerful now, too. I wasn¡¯t faking it at all. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure to save you something very special. You¡¯re going to be soooo surprised.¡± I winked at his friend, and he smiled back with his nasty canner teeth. He had no idea he was smiling at my plan to kill the both of them by feeding them their nuts backwards. The canner and I went behind a copse of trees. He made his move immediately, coming at me with hands out. ¡°I change my mind,¡± I said, fear creeping into my voice. I couldn¡¯t help it. My plan to get him back here and take him out was still good, but the whole casual sexy rape thing was making me feel sick. Maybe I was the guilty one, luring him back here. Maybe he was a good guy who would never have done this otherwise. Could I live with myself if I killed an innocent boy in the swamp? No. I could not. ¡°You change your mind about what?¡± he asked, laughing cruelly. ¡°About having sex. I don¡¯t want to do that. I don¡¯t even know you.¡± I moved back another step. ¡°Shit, are you one of those nut jobs who thinks she¡¯s back in high school or something? Wake up, bitch. Play time is over.¡± He took two steps forward, closing the distance between us too much for my comfort. ¡°I know it¡¯s not high school.¡± I stepped to the side. ¡°But does that mean I don¡¯t have a choice anymore? What about dating first? Could we do that? Maybe just you and me, we could go somewhere and get to know each other first.¡± It was the last thing I wanted to do with this creep - take a romantic walk under the trees - but I felt like I had to give him a chance. I didn¡¯t want to maim him in cold blood - or worse. ¡°Fuck that. And stop walking away from me.¡± He reached over with a big step and grabbed my wrist, squeezing it hard enough to cause a bruise. I tried to back way, stretching my arm out between us. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to get undressed?¡± I tried to smile coyly, but the panic was rising up and choking me, making my smile more like a grimace of fear. I could tell immediately that he liked that. My fear was feeding his attraction. There was no hope for this monster. He had to be put down. My fear gave way to anger. I widened my stance a little, hoping he¡¯d keep coming but be distracted enough to give me a chance to clock him in the nuts. Page 25 ¡°This isn¡¯t a romance,¡± he said, looking angry. I shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m still a girl.¡± This was my last ditch effort. Humanity! Going once! Going twice! ¡­ ¡°Yeah. Don¡¯t I know it.¡± Gone! He pulled me hard towards him, giving me exactly what I was looking for. I put my arms out as if to wrap them around him, and as soon as he reached out to grab one of my boobs with his nasty, blood-stained fingers, I brought my leg up sharply. I put everything I had into the kick, catching him square in the balls. He leaned forward in slow motion, and I grabbed his shoulders, guiding him slowly to the ground at my feet. I laughed to cover the sound of his one and only groan. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re so funny!¡± I exclaimed, loud enough so his friend would hear. He landed on the ground and rolled over on his back, staring up at me while his face turned white with pain. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound was coming out anymore. I bent over until I was close to his face and whispered in his ear. ¡°Didn¡¯t your mother ever tell you raping girls isn¡¯t nice?¡± I reached into the side of my boot and pulled out the small blade I always kept there. I stared him in the eyes and gave him my last words. ¡°This is for killing my friend, the chief of the Miccosukee tribe.¡± I flipped him onto his side and slit his throat where he lay. I stepped back and kicked him over so he¡¯d bleed into the ground. ¡°Oh, yes! Oh my god!¡± I yelled in an enthusiastic voice, wiping my blade off on his back. ¡°You¡¯re so amazing! Yes! Yes!¡± A quick glance towards the path told me we were still being left alone so my new boyfriend could accomplish his raping and pillaging. He moved a little at first, but within seconds went still. I made sure he was covered with plant material and then went to stand by the tree that kept us hidden from view. ¡°Oh man, that was amazing. Why don¡¯t you go down to the water to clean up, and I¡¯ll start with your friend.¡± I turned my voice towards the hut. ¡°Excuse me! I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t know your name, but I¡¯m ready for you!¡± I hid behind a smaller tree that was next to and slightly behind the bigger one. I didn¡¯t want to waste any time playing games with this guy. There was too much of a chance that he¡¯d find his dead friend and raise the alarm. I took several deep breaths to steady my racing pulse and trembling limbs. Killing was a nasty business, and I was sick that it was my business right now and that I¡¯d been forced into it by these monsters. I worried as I stood there that I was transforming into one of them. As the canner entered the place where he expected to find me, I walked out from my hiding spot to stand behind him. He didn¡¯t hear a thing. ¡°Where are you?¡± he asked, looking left and right. With only a moment¡¯s hesitation, I punched my knife into his back and through his lung. My foot came up next, slamming into his balls from behind. My blood was rushing so fast and so strong I could hear it in my head, like a giant storm of waves crushing over me, again and again in a horrible, regular rhythm. Two murders in the space of five minutes. Surely I would be going to hell now and would never get to see my father in the afterlife. Will he ever forgive me? The canner fell into a heap where he stood, the only sound coming from him a slight wheeze of pain. A hunting knife fell out of his hand and into the leaves next to his right foot. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, though feeling a little less regret now that I knew he¡¯d come here to not only rape me but possibly stab me, too. I removed my blade from his back and did the same thing to him that I had done to his friend. I pushed his shoulder into the dead leaves so he¡¯d bleed out into the earth. ¡°You planned to rape me and cut me, and I can¡¯t leave you here to do that to another girl. No room for sadists in the new world.¡± Please don¡¯t let me be a sadist for killing these two guys. Please. I stood and visibly shook myself, trying to get rid of the guilt and emotional agony I was suffering over the choices I¡¯d just made. I couldn¡¯t entertain the illusion even for a second that this guy could possibly be a good person - someone to be spared. He¡¯d lost whatever humanity he might have had, sacrificing it in the name of domination and torture of other kids. It was time for me to stop being so naive, expecting people like this to have good in them when they had the same freedom to be bad as I did and yet took full advantage of it in the worst ways possible. I never chose to eat kids, murder kids in cold blood, or take from others what they wouldn¡¯t willingly give. But these guys had. It was black and white for me: people left on this earth were either canners or not canners. They either ate people or they didn¡¯t, period. That was the dividing line for me - respect for human life or a complete lack thereof. Those with respect were safe from me. Those who didn¡¯t ¡­ weren¡¯t. I looked down at the two dead bodies, kids whose lives I had ended with the training my father had given me and the knife I held in my hand - a gift from the Miccosukee. I probably should have felt terrible. I probably should have been crying. But all I felt was determined now. If we were ever going to live in Haven or anywhere else peacefully, we had to get rid of those who lived to prey on others. Once a canner, always a canner; and once a canner, always a rapist, murderer, and thief. There would be no mercy for the wicked. I walked away from the scene of my almost-rape. Now I had to figure out a way to get Bodo out of the trap he¡¯d gotten himself into and then locate our friends. Hopefully, we¡¯d find them alive and not suffering at the hands of monsters. I crept back to the hut, my eyes flicking back and forth across the spaces around me, hoping to catch any movements or colors that were out of place - advance warnings that attackers were nearby. All the way up the path I panicked, worrying I was about to get shot or jumped. But I reached the end unscathed, and now was just around the corner from the place where we used to share meals with our Miccosukee and Creek friends. It was dead silent. Why can¡¯t I hear Bodo? He¡¯s always talking. He¡¯d know to talk and let me know where he is. I dropped down low, hoping that if the remaining canners were looking for someone to arrive from the path, they¡¯d look up at head level. Down on my stomach, I army-crawled the last few feet until I could see the inside of the hut. It was empty. And the bodies of the last canners were on the ground, blooms of red spread out across the back of their t-shirts. I got up on my hands and knees and moved farther on. A quick scan of the area told me the hut was completely empty, and if anyone was standing outside it, he was well-hidden. I stood, walking as quietly as possibly into the hut. I stepped over the dead canners who¡¯d dropped earlier during our shootout, and stopped when I reached the one who¡¯d been the ringleader, the one who¡¯d been holding Bodo captive the last time I was here. Pushing him over onto his back, I nearly screamed at what I saw. His whole abdomen had been slit open, and his intestines and other things were sliding out. Everything was pooling next him as it fell into the huge puddle of arterial blood that had emptied him of life. His sightless eyes stared out toward a spot behind me. Even though I knew he wasn¡¯t staring at anything back there, I had to turn around and look behind me anyway, just because it was so creepy. No one was there now, but someone had been. No way had Bodo done this. He wasn¡¯t this savage. Words from a girl I¡¯d hoped to never see again as long as I lived haunted my mind. ¡°I¡¯ll gut you like a fish.¡± Coli had said that to me once. I¡¯d heard her say it to Winky, too. I looked down at the canner and put it all together. Pieces of a scary puzzle were falling into place. He¡¯d definitely been gutted. Did Coli do this? I stepped back from the gore, my hand resting lightly on my own stomach. It was threatening to turn itself inside out. I tried not to look at him again, but it was impossible. All that blood ¡­ all that stuff that was supposed to be inside was now out, lying on the floor of the ceremonial hut ¡­ And that one last look was my undoing. I stumbled over to the side of the hut and vomited into the bushes next to it. Holding onto the railing, I waited until the spasms stopped pushing me practically inside out before I bothered to try and think straight again. By the time I was done, I was lightheaded and my mouth was so sour I could hardly swallow without being sick again; but at least I could put two words together in my head and make a little sense about what I had to do next. Must find Bodo. I didn¡¯t dare risk looking at the dead canner-leader again. I focused instead on the area around him, searching for clues of where Coli had gone and where she¡¯d taken Bodo. There was no doubt in my mind that Bodo was still captive somewhere. No matter how mad he was at me, I really didn¡¯t believe that he would just leave me to be raped by canners. He wasn¡¯t that kind of guy. Immature? Maybe. Inhumane? Never. I noticed some wide leaves that were broken near a path I knew well. It led to my old hut, the one that I had shared with Bodo, Peter, and Buster. It seemed like it had been so long ago, but it had been less than a month. I smiled grimly as I moved towards the path, thinking how Coli liked to say we white kids were like buffalo crashing through the swamp. Bodo was definitely a buffalo, and I was glad for it. He was giving me a sign. I tiptoed around the pools of blood, ignoring the high-pitched whine of flies and mosquitos that were converging on the blood-feast, focusing instead on the sounds of possible travelers and the broken leaves and piles of disturbed debris at my feet. I walked for five minutes before I finally heard voices. ¡°Dat¡¯s a problem. Do you hear me? Dat¡¯s a bigk problem!¡± Bodo¡¯s voice was hoarse. ¡°You can¡¯t do dat. Dat¡¯s not right. Kowi would not like dat.¡± ¡°Shut up, idiot. You have no idea what you¡¯re talking about. Kowi¡¯s ¡­ Kowi¡¯s ¡­¡± And then the sound of crying came next - agonized emotional pain. ¡°Don¡¯t you get it?! Kowi. Is. Gone! Everyone¡¯s gone! And you are all I have left and now you¡¯re going to be with me! Not Bryn!¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t want to be with you. And Bryn is still alife! She is alife!¡± ¡°No, she¡¯s not! She¡¯s dead, too. Everyone is dead except you and me.¡± Her voice went from weepy to matter-of-fact. ¡°You came back for me, I know you did. You came back so I wouldn¡¯t be alone. And now we¡¯re going to live together here and be happy. You and me. Together. We¡¯ll hunt together and fish together and maybe we¡¯ll even have children together. We¡¯ll be great parents.¡± ¡°But you don¡¯t even like me.¡± Bodo sounded sad now, like he pitied Coli. I know I did. She had clearly lost it. She was crying and yelling half the time and sounding like she was utterly convinced the next. And she was making no attempt at being quiet like she usually did. She must have found him and taken care of those canners all by herself. I wasn¡¯t sure now if I was in a better position or a worse one with Coli as Bodo¡¯s captor. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± she agreed. ¡°I don¡¯t like you very much. I don¡¯t like you at all actually, because you have terrible taste in girls and you¡¯re immature and stupid. But you¡¯re here, you¡¯re strong, and you¡¯re all I¡¯ve got, so we¡¯ll just have to make do.¡± ¡°Wait a minute. I¡¯m not all dat bad.¡± I shook my head. Leave it to Bodo to get all offended at a lunatic¡¯s ravings. Maybe if he focused on convincing her she was wrong, it could be enough of a distraction for me to get in there and get him away from her. I wasn¡¯t sure what to do about her, though. I couldn¡¯t very well take her with us if I had to worry about being gutted around every corner. But could I leave her out here all by herself? I didn¡¯t think I could do that either. My father¡¯s words echoed in my head. Page 26 Take care of those who can¡¯t take care of themselves. Ugh. Sometimes his wisdom was a serious pain in my butt. I moved closer to the sound of the voices. The light was dim. Sunset was coming and the canopy of branches and leaves made it even harder to see than it should have been. As I reached the edge of the hut, coming up near the most open side of it that had the least amount of trees in the way, I could just barely make out the rooms themselves. My former home - two huts connected together - now had two occupants. Bodo sat on a mattress on the floor, and Coli stood in the area we had designated as the pantry. I¡¯d been considering a sneak attack, but quickly decided against it. Coli was the best silent-walker in the whole swamp, so there was very little chance I could get anywhere near her without her knowing. Bold and up front was the only way with her. At least if she was going to take a swipe at me with one of her lethal knives, I¡¯d see it coming. As well as I could in the dimming light. I walked up to the entrance, making as much noise as possible. Her form tensed up immediately, before I¡¯d even taken three steps. ¡°Who¡¯s there?!¡± she shouted. ¡°Bryn! Run away! She¡¯s got a knife! She¡¯s crazy!¡± ¡°Shut up!¡± she spat at Bodo, never taking her eyes off me. She walked a few steps forward, stopping at the entrance to the hut. ¡°So, you¡¯re still alive after all.¡± ¡°Yes. Alive and well. Unlike those canners you gutted back there. Thanks for that, by the way.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t do it for you.¡± Her tone had gone low. If she were a tiger, I¡¯d say she was getting ready to pounce. I had to keep her off balance. ¡°So, we saw Kowi.¡± She stopped and stood straighter. ¡°What do you mean, you saw him?¡± ¡°We saw what you did to him.¡± It was a shot in the dark, but at the very least would keep her guessing long enough for me to get into position. ¡°What are you talking about? I didn¡¯t do anything to him. He¡¯s fine.¡± She sounded like she really meant that. ¡°Fine? I wouldn¡¯t call Kowi fine. Not by a long shot.¡± Her arms that had been bent by her sides dropped straight. ¡°Kowi¡¯s out at the ranch. Kowi is fine.¡± ¡°Well, if Kowi¡¯s fine, why did you want Bodo to be your boyfriend?¡± Her face scrunched up as emotion overtook her. ¡°Kowi and I broke up. Didn¡¯t you hear? Didn¡¯t you have a big party when you found out?¡± I knew she was crazy-talking to some degree, but there seemed to be an filament of truth woven through her mad ramblings. I had to figure out what was reality and what was Coli¡¯s sickness. ¡°I didn¡¯t hear. I¡¯m sorry about that. I know you loved him. I thought he loved you too.¡± ¡°No. Nobody loves me. Not even my own family, my own tribe!¡± She screeched the last word. I could feel her pain physically, as my heart spasmed for her. No one, no matter how much of an asshole she is, should feel this isolated. Even the canners had friends. ¡°That¡¯s not true, Coli. He told me himself that he loved you. He wasn¡¯t just with you for the tribes.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a liar. You¡¯re a liar and a slut.¡± She advanced towards me. I took two steps back. ¡°I¡¯m not a liar or a slut. I never touched your boyfriend, and he never tried to touch me. He loved you. You, not me. Why was he here and not at the ranch?¡± ¡°He is at the ranch! He is at the ranch! Why don¡¯t you understand that?!¡± She reached up and pulled her own hair out to the side. She didn¡¯t stop until she¡¯d removed half of what she held. I watched in horror as she stood there like a statue, her hand full of torn-out hair and her face a mask of pain. I took a few steps forward, closing the distance between us. She needed help. I couldn¡¯t just punch her lights out and leave her here. I knew she didn¡¯t share the same charitable feelings towards me, so I wasn¡¯t going to open myself up to a stabbing, but I had to try and get through to her. I held my hands out in a pacifying gesture. ¡°Coli, if you want, I¡¯ll take you to see him. But it might be a little hard, since we sent his body off in a canoe down river. Or up river, I¡¯m not sure. Whatever ¡­ it went with the current. I spoke to him right before he died.¡± ¡°No you didn¡¯t,¡± she whispered, staring intensely into my eyes. She was hanging on my every word. ¡°Yes, I did. He was here looking for you. He said so himself.¡± ¡°But we broke up,¡± she said, tears flowing down her face. She was sobbing now, trying to talk through her spasms. ¡°But ¡­ but we broke up ¡­ but we ¡­ broke up! We broke up!¡± ¡°Was it you or him who broke up?¡± I asked gently. ¡°Because I don¡¯t think it mattered to him. He wanted to get you safe. He came for you.¡± She dropped her head into her hands and screamed. I rushed forward and put her in a bear hug, trapping her arms bent up against her chest. My goal was twofold: to console her and also keep her from stabbing me. She didn¡¯t struggle. She just keened, sounding very much like a wounded animal. ¡°Shhhh, don¡¯t cry. I said a prayer. He¡¯s gone to the spirit world or heaven. He¡¯s watching over you. He wants you to be safe. Shhhh.¡± I tried to pat her on the back a little, but I didn¡¯t want to let her go. ¡°I didn¡¯t know ¡­ I didn¡¯t know ¡­¡± Her words were muffled in her hands, but the meaning was clear. Like so many girls before her, she hadn¡¯t been able to read the mind or heart of her boyfriend. Join the club. ¡°Listen, we have to get to the ranches with the other kids. Do you know how to get there?¡± She said nothing. Her crying stopped in an instant and the animal cries disappeared. I felt her tensing up against my touch. I let go and jumped back at the same time, falling into a fight-ready stance. She dropped her arms immediately and put both of them behind her back. I frowned at her odd movements, wondering what the hell she was doing. ¡°Watch out, Bryn!¡± shouted Bodo. ¡°She hass a knife back dare!¡± Her hand flicked out so fast I barely saw it move. It was only instinct that had me leaning to the side in a jerking motion. A burning pain sliced through my upper arm followed shortly after by the sensation of blood leaving my body. I dropped down low and ducked the second knife that left her other hand just after the first. Reaching up without even looking, I found the hilt of the knife that was sticking out of my upper arm. She had probably planned to get me in the heart, but lucky for me had only caught the outside edge of my muscle. That arm was useless now, but my left arm wasn¡¯t. I slowly stood straighter, moving in closer to her, praying she didn¡¯t have a third or fourth knife in her back pocket. ¡°You fucking stabbed me, you freak,¡± I growled. My fingers probed the area around my wound, trying to figure out how deep the blade had gone in and whether I should risk taking it out. I knew that leaving them in was better sometimes, but I couldn¡¯t use the precious seconds I needed to look at it. Taking my eyes off the lunatic in front of me would be the last mistake I ever made. ¡°I missed. That¡¯s just a flesh wound.¡± She backed up into the hut. ¡°I was aiming somewhere else.¡± ¡°Listen, you crazy nutbag, I¡¯m trying to be nice here. I¡¯m trying to help you through your friggin¡¯ grief and help you find a place to live. But if you keep trying to kill me, I¡¯m going to have a really hard time convincing myself to do that!¡± Every time I took a step or moved it felt like the blade was cutting me more. I decided to take a chance on bleeding too much and pulled the blade out. I screamed with the pain that sliced through me. Warm blood gushed down my arm. I breathed a small sigh of relief that it didn¡¯t spurt out with every heartbeat, though. At least she hadn¡¯t tagged an artery. ¡°You¡¯re bleeding!¡± shouted Bodo. ¡°You needt to stop the bleeding! Come ofer her and let me help you!¡± I side-stepped to get around Coli and into the other hut. She backed up, putting the pantry between us. I walked backwards, reaching Bodo¡¯s mattress in a few steps. ¡°Can you roll over in front of me? I can cut your ropes off with her knife.¡± I was lucky she¡¯d decided to use knives instead of bullets. Bodo rolled over, doing a backwards somersault off the mattress to land in front of me. I looked down for just a split second to find his wrists, using the knife to cut him free. It was so sharp it went through the fibers like they were made of butter. ¡°Hey! Leave him alone! He¡¯s my boyfriend, not yours!¡± She took two steps toward us. I frowned at her. ¡°Shut up, Coli. Your bullshit isn¡¯t funny anymore.¡± She pointed a finger at me like a scolding grandmother, wagging it up and down for emphasis. ¡°You¡¯re going to be sorry, Bryn. Really sorry!¡± ¡°I already am, Coli!¡± I yelled, standing again. I heard the sounds of material ripping and then felt Bodo administering first aid to my arm. But all my attention was on my would-be murderer. ¡°Coli, you can come with us out of here, but you have to hand over all your weapons and promise you¡¯ll go peacefully. Otherwise, we¡¯ll have to leave you here.¡± Part of me hoped she¡¯d take me up on the abandonment program. ¡°Good! Just leave me. I don¡¯t want to go anywhere with you.¡± ¡°I think you do,¡± I said, not convinced that was true. But I had to think that even mentally ill people didn¡¯t want to be alone. Isolation could not possibly be good for Coli, even though it was decidedly much better for me. ¡°You killed Kowi,¡± she said. ¡°You were jealous of us. You were jealous of me!¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Jesus, Coli, give it a rest, would you?¡± ¡°Da only person who is jealous is you, Coli. Dat¡¯s you. You are da problem, not Bryn. You were alwayss da problem here.¡± Bodo shook his head, tying a knot over the top of my wound. I grimaced with the pain, but knew it was the best thing for me right now. I was fervently hoping that I¡¯d be able to get back to Haven before infection set in. I had to believe Coli¡¯s knife had been used on that canner first, and I knew he was diseased. He had to be. To think that I¡¯d survive the apocalypse to die of some weird canner disease was almost laughable it was so awful. My morbid thoughts flew out of my head when Coli suddenly looked like she was going to come for us. But then I calmed down when she walked out of the hut instead. My pulse picked up briefly when I saw her marching over to retrieve the knife that had flown by, but she never even looked back after picking it up. She just shoved it into a holster at the back of her pants and trudged through the trees, making a huge amount of noise that included not only leaves crunching but some crazy shrieks and sobs too. It was so not like her to sound like a buffalo. ¡°Dat girl is very sick,¡± said Bodo as we watched her disappear into the darkness. ¡°Yes. And she¡¯s very dangerous. We need to get the hell out of here.¡± ¡°Where are we going? To da Miccosukee ranch or back to Haven?¡± ¡°To the pool and the loom hut first. Then to the Miccosukee ranch. I need to see if there are any looms left that we can take.¡± ¡°What about Rob? And da rest of da kids?¡± ¡°I hope they made it to the ranch. But we¡¯re running out of daylight, and I don¡¯t want to be anywhere near that looney bird when it¡¯s dark.¡± ¡°Me neider. You want to go clean your arm at da shower? Maybe dare is some soap dare.¡± I nodded. ¡°Good idea. Let¡¯s do that first.¡± We left the huts and followed the trail to the showers, both of us on high alert, expecting Coli to jump out from behind every tree. Page 27 Chapter Six BODO AND I WALKED TO the showers in silence. My brainpower was split between worrying about being stalked and attacked by Coli and what my boyfriend was thinking - if he even was my boyfriend anymore. When we got to the shower, Bodo untied my bandage. I walked to the water hoses without taking my clothes off. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to go naked?¡± Bodo asked. He stood at the entrance watching me. ¡°No. I¡¯m too tired and sore.¡± ¡°I can help you.¡± I looked over at him. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re making a move on me in the middle of all this.¡± I shook my head in disbelief. I didn¡¯t know whether to be mad or happy. ¡°I¡¯m not!¡± he said, sounding serious. ¡°It is just a bad idea to be wet all night when you are going to be weak from an injury. But you go ahead and do it. It¡¯s not a problem for me.¡± He turned around, facing out and no longer looking at me. Tears pricked my eyes. I so didn¡¯t need rejection in my life right now. I squeezed the clips that kept the water inside the plastic bladders that were extended above my head. Gritting my teeth at the pain of water flowing over my wound, I bent over and took the soap bottle, pouring some of its contents over my arm. I scrubbed until I nearly wept with the pain. Once the soap was all rinsed away, I let the clips go and walked back over to Bodo. Watery blood dripped down my arm and off my hand. Bodo¡¯s back was rigid. He was staring out into the evening-lit field that reached the edge of the shower area. ¡°Can you put the bandage back on for me?¡± He turned around and grabbed a piece of his t-shirt at the bottom, ripping another strip off. ¡°Let me clean it first.¡± He walked over to the hose and soap, scrubbing the material and rinsing it well. When he was done, he came back and wrapped it around my arm, putting the knot once again over the wound. The mosquitos were out in full force, buzzing around the bandage and my face. ¡°Let¡¯s move. I have to get away from these bugs.¡± ¡°Do you know where da looms are?¡± he asked, following behind me. ¡°Yes.¡± I was mad at him, so I said nothing else. We were in a life and death situation, and he was doing the bare minimum to help me out. So he was a friend now, and not a boyfriend. He was making it very clear. I tried to ignore the painful squeezing in my chest, but it was impossible. I¡¯d always considered Bodo a caring, loving person. Peter had convinced me that I was a special person to Bodo, someone he didn¡¯t want to live without. But every signal he was sending said otherwise. I didn¡¯t like being this confused or in the dark about my own love life. Things should be simpler than this. If you love someone, just love them. If you don¡¯t, then don¡¯t. But don¡¯t say one thing and do another. Why did guys have to be such jerks? ¡°Do you want to talk?¡± asked Bodo, as we moved along the trail to the pool area and loom hut. ¡°Yes and no,¡± I admitted, speaking softly. Coli was still out there somewhere, but she¡¯d been so out of it and loud earlier, I allowed myself a measure of confidence that I¡¯d hear her before I saw her next time. ¡°We haff a problem.¡± ¡°Yes. Obviously.¡± ¡°Part of it iss my fault.¡± ¡°Ya think?¡± If this was going to be how I was the bad guy and had caused all this bullcrap, I was going to blow my stack. I had so little patience right now. ¡°Yes. I wass not very forgivingk when you told me about Paci.¡± ¡°No, you weren¡¯t. Nor were you very understanding. I think you¡¯ve been a real jerk about the whole thing if you want to know.¡± It was easier to say these things to him walking in front, not being able to see his face. I felt more free to speak my mind. ¡°But Paci is da wrong guy. If it wass Rob or Fohi, den I would say okay. But not Paci.¡± ¡°Why not Paci? What¡¯s the big deal about him?¡± Bodo didn¡¯t answer for a while. When he finally did, he sounded as confused as I felt. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Because he luffs you, I think. He iss different.¡± My face started burning. ¡°He doesn¡¯t love me. He might like me, but there¡¯s no way he can love me. He doesn¡¯t even know me.¡± ¡°A person does not needt to know all of your secrets to luff you Bryn. You can trust me on dis.¡± I stopped walking and turned partway. ¡°It¡¯s all about the secrets with you, isn¡¯t it, Bodo?¡± His body immediately took on a defensive posture. He was practically screaming guilt at me. ¡°No. Dare are no secrets. I know your secret now.¡± ¡°But you have secrets,¡± I said, getting mad again. ¡°You¡¯re keeping secrets from me, I know you are.¡± ¡°Why do you say dat?¡± He searched my face. ¡°I know you. I know when you¡¯re acting guilty. This is just like when you kept Nina from me, when you acted all mad at me for stupid reasons. Something big is going on with you, and you¡¯re not telling me.¡± ¡°Dat¡¯s crazy. I¡¯m just Bodo! Mr. Bryn!¡± He reached out to put his hand on my shoulder, but I shied away. He was trying to smile and laugh me off, but it was so hollow it made goosebumps come up on my arms. ¡°You¡¯re not Mr. Bryn. Not anymore.¡± My ears burned. I couldn¡¯t believe I¡¯d actually said it out loud. I¡¯d been thinking it, and my heart had been feeling it, but now it was out there - a big hulking gorilla standing on the path between us. His face fell. ¡°You are breaking up with me? Like Coli said about Kowi?¡± Tears wanted to come, but I wouldn¡¯t let them. ¡°I can¡¯t be with someone I can¡¯t trust. You either need to come clean and tell me what¡¯s going on with you, or that¡¯s it.¡± He threw his arms up in frustration. ¡°Dat¡¯s it, what? We are enemies?¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t be stupid. Of course we¡¯re not enemies. I could never be your enemy.¡± This whole thing was so damn confusing I didn¡¯t even know what I was talking about now. I was running on instinct alone. ¡°I care about you very much. You¡¯re a part of my family. But you keep a piece of yourself away from me. Away from everyone. And until you give me all of you, you¡¯ll just be ¡­ like a brother.¡± Bodo scoffed at that. ¡°Ha. Yeah, okay. A brudder. A brudder who you take a shower with and get to the naked with. I don¡¯t think so.¡± I¡¯d bruised his ego, that much was clear. And I understood it was a fragile thing and that we had work to do before it was pitch black outside, so I decided to call a truce. I put my hand on his arm. ¡°You¡¯re right. Let¡¯s just get all this stuff done and we¡¯ll figure this out later, when we¡¯re back at Haven, okay?¡± He nodded once, not saying anything. Five really awkward minutes later we were walking down the dock that led to the loom hut. The water in the pool was still but for a small current moving through the middle. No fires were lit in the hut nor were any lamps glowing. We walked as silently as we could, and I for one was praying that Coli wasn¡¯t lying in wait. The looms were all still there. I got really excited for about two seconds until I noticed a figure lying underneath the contraption farthest from the doorway. My heart sank. Another dead friend, either Miccosukee or Creek from the looks of her clothing. ¡°Rraaaawwrrr!¡± An unholy screech filled the air, causing me to scream in fright. I leaped and turned sideways, ready to punch, eye gouge or whatever else I needed to do to protect myself. A small, soft body hit my leg and scampered off into the darkness. I put my hand over my racing heart and laughed little. ¡°Fucking cats.¡± ¡°Dat scared da doodles out of me,¡± said Bodo, laughing a little too. The body on the floor sat up. ¡°Who¡¯s there? Winky?¡± I rushed over, so relieved the dead body was talking I nearly wept with joy. ¡°Mandy! Oh my god, what are you doing here?!¡± ¡°Bryn? Holy crap! Never mind me ¡­ what are you doing here?¡± She jumped up and gave me a huge hug. I stayed that way with her for a few precious seconds, reveling in her warmth and aliveness. We separated and I gave her a quick once over. ¡°You injured anywhere?¡± ¡°No. Luckily. Those a-holes didn¡¯t get this far, but I was ready for them.¡± She gestured to a rifle on the floor next to her bedding. ¡°And they¡¯re not going to, either. We got rid of all the ones that were in the ceremonial hut.¡± ¡°With Coli¡¯s help,¡± added Bodo. Mandy got suddenly very sober. ¡°You saw her? Coli?¡± ¡°Yeah. She¡¯s not good.¡± Mandy sighed heavily. ¡°Tell me about it. She¡¯s totally off her meds. I don¡¯t know what to do about her.¡± ¡°Meds? What meds?¡± I wasn¡¯t sure if she was being serious or just using an expression. ¡°She was taking something for her moods or whatever. She had a huge stockpile of the medication, but either it ran out or she trashed it or used it up ¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Well, that explains a lot. Did you know that Kowi¡¯s gone?¡± ¡°Gone? As in back at the ranch?¡± I shook my head, tears coming again as I realized I was about to give her the news that her chief and friend was no longer with us. ¡°Gone as in killed. Gunshot, by those canners. Same with Jason. They¡¯re both dead.¡± Her hand flew to her mouth. ¡°Oh, my Jesus.¡± She shook her head in silence. When she spoke again her voice was rough. ¡°You got all of them, I hope?¡± ¡°As many as we saw. Except for the ones that Coli gutted.¡± Mandy turned to cry in private, her shoulders quaking with grief. ¡°When is it going to end?¡± she moaned. I couldn¡¯t answer her because it would be a lie to suggest it would. We¡¯d forever be fighting off the evil in the world. It was a seriously depressing thought. ¡°Why are you here?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you at da ranch?¡± ¡°I had to protect the looms,¡± said Mandy when she was able to collect herself enough to speak. ¡°We were going to transport them once we had the ATVs ready.¡± ¡°ATVs? What¡¯s dat?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°All terrain vehicles. Rob and Trip went to get them. Kowi was going to go too, but then Coli disappeared, and he didn¡¯t want to leave her behind.¡± ¡°Oh man,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s seriously freaking out about him. She said they broke up.¡± Mandy shook her head, wiping her eyes and nose with her sleeve. ¡°Who knows with her. She doesn¡¯t live in the same reality that we do.¡± ¡°She tried to kill me,¡± I said. ¡°I know she¡¯s your friend, but I can¡¯t trust her. I have to get out of here before she finds me again.¡± Mandy nodded. ¡°I¡¯m not surprised. She never did connect with you very well, did she?¡± ¡°Uh, no. Not at all.¡± It felt like the understatement of the year, but there was no reason to beat a dead horse. ¡°So are you coming with us to the ranch? I¡¯d appreciate you guiding us there.¡± ¡°I guess since you got rid of those loom destroyers, I can go.¡± She gave me a watery smile. ¡°You want to leave now or in the morning?¡± ¡°Now,¡± said Bodo before I could. ¡°Canners are going to go to Haven. We haff to be ready.¡± I knew he was right, but hearing it out loud like that was worse than just thinking it. My anxiety level ratcheted up significantly. ¡°Let¡¯s go, then,¡± said Mandy. ¡°It¡¯s going to take us thirty minutes to get there.¡± We followed her out of the hut and walked silently through the trees. My ears were tuned in for the sounds of a girl off her meds and my heart was aching for the friends I had lost and those who were in danger right now. Page 28 Please don¡¯t let anything happen to Peter or any of the others while I¡¯m gone. If I returned to Haven and death greeted me at the doorstep I¡¯d never forgive myself for leaving. I knew exactly how Kowi felt and that just made me even more sad. The trip to the ranch was way more treacherous than I had expected it to be. Mandy said it was the fastest route, but I might have preferred the longer one had she explained what we¡¯d be walking through. I saw no less than fifteen gators, and I lost count of the snakes at twenty. We even walked around a few of the monster pythons I¡¯d read about in the news before the world had fallen apart - pets people had released into the wild when they no longer wanted them. These serpents had thrived in the Everglades, eating pretty much non-stop. Now they were big enough to eat a pig or maybe even a Bryn-sized girl. I ran past any I saw, praying that being big also meant slow. The landscape was a mix of waterways and dry land, some of it just roots of trees linked together and some that appeared more solid, like it had sand or solid ground beneath it. The closer we got to the ranch, the less water we saw and the more it started to look like the area around Haven. It was fully dark by the time we got within fifty yards of the gate. Mandy let out a birdcall that was quickly answered by someone inside the barbed-wire fence that circled the perimeter. When we got closer I was struck by how much it looked like a prison. They even had a watchtower. ¡°Who goes?¡± asked a familiar voice. ¡°Mandy and friends,¡± she said, sounding just a little happier than she had earlier. ¡°Rob, it¡¯s me and Bodo,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, hell yeah! You made it!¡± ¡°Yeah, we did.¡± I wasn¡¯t as excited about it as he was probably expecting me to be, but it wasn¡¯t possible to be too happy with the memories of Kowi and Jason at the front of my mind. ¡°Awesome news, awesome.¡± He pulled me into a hug when I got close enough, holding out a hand towards Bodo. ¡°Welcome to the ranch, guys. Welcome. So glad you¡¯re both here.¡± Bodo shook his hand and nodded his head. ¡°We are glad to be here. Out in da middle of da snakes and gators.¡± ¡°Nice security system, eh?¡± asked Rob, letting me go and walking backwards through the gate. ¡°So, what¡¯s the status?¡± I asked, waiting for him to secure the lock on the gate and then following him down a road into a treed area. ¡°We did some negotiating. We¡¯ve got a small herd now, a couple looms and some other things. The trick is going to be getting everything down to Haven.¡± ¡°How many kids are coming with us?¡± I asked. ¡°About half,¡± said Rob. ¡°Wow,¡± said Mandy, sounding surprised. ¡°Really? I thought it would be more, actually.¡± ¡°Yeah, well, more wanted to come but we convinced them to stay for now. We need to be sure we have the manpower at the ranch to keep the canners off. We don¡¯t really have the swamp anymore, so we can¡¯t risk leaving the ranches and farms understaffed.¡± ¡°That makes sense,¡± I said. ¡°Maybe we could work out some kind of exchange system where people go back and forth for different periods. If they want. Or they could just stay in one place. It makes no difference to me.¡± ¡°Everyone just needs to be happy,¡± said Rob. ¡°That¡¯s the goal, right?¡± ¡°Yes. Security first, happiness a very close second.¡± I smiled at Rob¡¯s enthusiasm. It was dark and late, and I knew he¡¯d had as rough a day as we had, but he was full of energy. No way was I going to burst his bubble and tell him about Kowi, Jason, and Coli now. Waiting wasn¡¯t going to change anything. Rob sent a few birdcalls out ahead of us and soon we were joined by a group of kids. Among them were Trip and Paci. Both of them looked at me intently as they greeted me. ¡°Welcome to the main ranch,¡± said Paci, hugging me lightly. ¡°The last stand of the Miccosukee and Creek tribes.¡± He stepped back and turned his attention to Trip. ¡°Welcome,¡± said Trip, shaking my hand firmly. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn¡¯t. He just stood more stiffly and puffed his chest out a little. Bodo walked up and held his hand out at Paci. Paci didn¡¯t hesitate; he shook Bodo¡¯s hand and smiled. ¡°Welcome to the ranch, Bodo of Germany.¡± Bodo made a slight bow, sealing the formality of the process. It was almost funny, but at the same time ceremonial. I wondered if things would ever not be weird among the three of us. ¡°I hear we have some cattle for Haven,¡± I said as we walked through some trees and into a large hut. It was connected to several others and covered in the standard thatched roof. As people saw us coming, they stood and walked over to greet us. Trip led the way into the third hut from the end where he finally stopped. ¡°Hungry?¡± he asked, gesturing to the food that rested in bowls on a long, narrow table made of bamboo poles. I gladly dug into a big bowl of the usual Miccosukee fare - grilled vegetables, mystery meats and hunks of fresh bread. The bread was my favorite; it had been too long since I¡¯d had any that wasn¡¯t rock hard. I was halfway into my meal when LaShay arrived. ¡°Giiiirl, aren¡¯t you a sight for sore eyes,¡± she exclaimed, bumping into people on her way over to give me a one-armed hug. ¡°Damn, you got littler or somethin¡¯.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t had any good Miccosukee food in a while I guess.¡± ¡°Well you need to get yourself some cooks over there or somethin¡¯, ¡®cause you lose much more and you¡¯re just gonna disappear.¡± ¡°Peter would never let that happen. What¡¯s new with you?¡± ¡°Well, I still only got one arm as you can see.¡± Several kids nearby giggled. Apparently, LaShay had made the idea of being handicapped a laughable thing, which was probably good. Better than having it be a stigma or a reminder of a horrible past. ¡°But I¡¯m gettin¡¯ good with this one I got left.¡± ¡°You should see her swing a bat,¡± said Jeremy. He¡¯d walked up behind her and stood just to her side. The big smile on her face told me his opinion was important. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be braggin¡¯ on me like that. I¡¯m still learnin¡¯. Softball was never my thing before but I kinda liked it.¡± Jeremy put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. ¡°I¡¯m just glad I have her on my team.¡± I smiled and shook my head. ¡°I leave you guys for what ¡­ a week? And you¡¯re already playing softball out here?¡± ¡°We always had it out here,¡± said Jeremy. ¡°We¡¯re just expanding our league.¡± ¡°Maybe Haven¡¯ll have to get a team together,¡± said Rob. ¡°We could challenge the ranch.¡± ¡°Haven versus Ranch. I like it,¡± said Jeremy. ¡°So what happened after we left you?¡± asked Rob, settling in next to me and Bodo on the floor. A large group had gathered around us and everyone was listening intently to what we had to say. I felt the mood deflate considerably as my expression revealed that my news wasn¡¯t good. I cleared my throat before starting, not looking forward to being the bearer of bad news. ¡°Well, we rode with that kid Jackson back to his ranch, the Triple Bar D.¡± I looked around and noticed several kids nodding and looking at each other. Jackson seemed to pass their test, because I saw no angry looks or fear in their expressions. ¡°We also met his sister, Katy,¡± added Bodo. ¡°And his birds.¡± We had promised to keep the EWS a secret, but I was certain that meant from canners and not friends. ¡°You guys need to get in on that,¡± I said. ¡°Trip, seriously, you need to send at least a couple people to the Triple Bar D to get trained and to get some birds.¡± ¡°Talk to Kowi about that,¡± he said. Everyone went silent as they waited for my response. All I could hear was the pounding of my pulse and the rustle of a slight breeze through the trees before Mandy spoke up. ¡°We have some very bad news, everyone. Very bad news.¡± She had started to cry again. She tried to continue but couldn¡¯t. ¡°What?¡± asked Trip. ¡°What the hell are you trying to say?¡± He stood, his body language screaming fight. ¡°Don¡¯t get angry, Trip,¡± I urged. ¡°There¡¯s nothing we can do now that we didn¡¯t already do to take care of it. It¡¯s just ¡­ really, really bad news. The worst.¡± Mandy held up her hand, and we waited for her to gather herself. This was her news to deliver if she wanted to. I was ready to do it for her if I had to, but these were her people and it was her right to decide. I looked at Paci¡¯s smooth features and proud bearing. This was going to be hardest on him. He turned his head and caught my eye. I tried to beg him silently across the space between us to forgive me for not getting to his brother sooner. I really did feel like it was partially my fault for not being there to defend him. He¡¯d brought me into his tribe and cared for me when I was desperately seeking shelter, and in a way I¡¯d let him down. Paci frowned, asking me silently what was going on. I mouthed the words, ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± just before Mandy delivered the news. ¡°The canners killed Kowi,¡± she finally said. ¡°When he went back for Coli. They got Jason too.¡± ¡°What?!¡± yelled Trip. ¡°That¡¯s bullshit! That didn¡¯t happen!¡± The glow from the lamps lit up his angry face. The veins in his forehead and neck were standing out as he continued to yell. ¡°Kowi is not dead! Neither is Jason! You¡¯re wrong!¡± Several girls started crying with Mandy. Jeremy¡¯s face went from confused to startled and then shocked. His mouth dropped open, but he remained silent. ¡°Oh my god, y¡¯all,¡± said LaShay. She wandered off into the darkness crying. ¡°Yes, he is, Trip,¡± I said in a low tone. I didn¡¯t want to fight him; I just wanted him to understand. I kept my gaze lowered so he wouldn¡¯t think I was challenging him. ¡°When we got to the landing point, we found him in a canoe. He died as I stood there. We found Jason in a canoe too, higher upstream. He was already dead when I got to him.¡± Tears were streaming down Trip¡¯s face. ¡°You saw Kowi before he died?¡± His voice was just above a whisper, broken and strained. ¡°Yes. I did. And I said a prayer for him after he passed on and asked my dad to look after him. I ¡­¡± I had more to say, but I couldn¡¯t get the words out. I dropped my chin to my chest and stared at my hands folded in my lap. My throat was hurting too much to talk, and my heart was breaking for all of Kowi¡¯s family. I knew how much he¡¯d meant to them, especially Trip and Paci. ¡°Tell me you got the guy who killed him,¡± said Rob, crying too. ¡°Tell me you fucking nailed him to the wall.¡± I smiled a little through my tears - not out of happiness but out of some misplaced apology for not getting to their brother sooner. ¡°You¡¯ll be happy to know that we nailed all ten of those motherfuckers to the wall. And we had help. Coli gutted their leader like a fish with her knife.¡± ¡°Good,¡± said Rob. ¡°They deserved it.¡± He cleared his throat really loudly and coughed a few times, trying to rein in his emotions. ¡°Yes, they did,¡± I agreed. ¡°What happened to da two guyss who tried to take you?¡± asked Bodo. I shrugged. ¡°They¡¯re dead.¡± I wasn¡¯t proud of having ended their lives. Murder even in self-defense was nothing to brag about. ¡°Fed ¡®em their nuts, I hope,¡± said Rob, wiping his nose off on his sleeve. ¡°Damn straight,¡± I said. I looked up and caught Trip with a small smile. Then his face spasmed with pain again and he turned away, taking a few steps away so he could stand at the edge of the hut and stare out into the trees. Page 29 I tried to catch Paci¡¯s, eye but he was staring at the ground saying nothing. A few seconds after Trip left he turned and went with him. They stood together in silence outside our ring of light. I really wanted to go after them, but I didn¡¯t know what I¡¯d say or do. I figured I¡¯d probably just make it worse, so I stayed put. ¡°When is it going to end?¡± asked Winky, coming through the crowd at the back of the hut. ¡°Move it or lose it, people, coming through.¡± The crowd split to make room for her. It was when she fully separated from the group and got close that I noticed her arm was in a sling. ¡°What happened to you?¡± I asked as I stood and took her into a gentle hug. ¡°Coli happened to me,¡± she said wryly. She pointed to my bloody bandages. ¡°What happened to you?¡± I waited a few seconds for effect. ¡°Coli happened to me too.¡± ¡°No shit?¡± she asked, smiling. ¡°No shit. Girl¡¯s crazy out there, throwing those knives like she¡¯s in the friggin¡¯ circus.¡± Several kids laughed. Then a round of sniffles began as everyone battled sorrow and joy at the same time. Trip spoke without turning around. ¡°Sleep now. You leave at first light.¡± I finally got up the nerve and walked over to him and Paci, stopping on Trip¡¯s left side and putting my hand on his arm. ¡°Can we talk for a second?¡± Trip nodded, not even looking at me. I backed up a few steps so he¡¯d follow me a little ways from Paci. When he was far enough away that I knew we could speak privately, I dropped my hand and lowered my voice so only he could hear me. ¡°Peter is waiting for you at Haven. I hope you¡¯re coming.¡± Trip¡¯s jaw muscle twitching was the only sign I had that he¡¯d heard me. Otherwise, he was as motionless as a statue and without expression. I continued, determined to keep delivering my message until he stopped me or walked away. ¡°At the Triple Bar D they have a messenger system using carrier pigeons. They have contact points all over the state and in Georgia now, too. They¡¯d like to have a point here with you guys so they could give you warnings of canner movements and kids on the run from canners. Will you send someone to get trained and to get some birds from them? They¡¯re good people, Trip. I¡¯ll vouch for them.¡± He did nothing at first. Then gave one sharp nod. ¡°Okay, good. And I know you¡¯re hurting and you have a lot going on right now, but I just want you to know you have my support, a hundred percent. Whatever you need, just say the word. Haven is waiting to take all of you in or just some of you ¡­ whatever.¡± Trip tensed his jaw again but turned his head to face me. For a while he said nothing, so I just stared at him. He was fiercely beautiful. I could see why Peter had fallen for him. He exuded maleness, but at the same time had some underlying sensitivity he tried to keep hidden from the world. I hoped like heck that Peter could teach him to let it out. If he didn¡¯t loosen up a little and let some joy into his life, Trip was going to become too brittle to survive the madness that threatened to take us all. ¡°Peter is waiting.¡± He said it like a statement. ¡°Yes. He¡¯s waiting for you to come.¡± ¡°He left.¡± ¡°Of course he left. What did you expect him to do? Stay when you couldn¡¯t even stand up for him? Stay when you were turning people out who needed you? That¡¯s not Peter¡¯s style. You know that.¡± Trip turned his head away from me. ¡°Don¡¯t be so stubborn that you ruin your life. If you don¡¯t care enough about your own happiness to follow my advice, then do it for Peter. If you don¡¯t come to Haven and let him know how you feel, you¡¯ll break his heart.¡± Trip said nothing. ¡°And just so you know, there¡¯s another cute guy at the prison now, so if you don¡¯t go stake your claim soon you might have a problem on your hands later.¡± Trip¡¯s head whipped in my direction. ¡°Who?¡± He tried to sound angry, but all I heard was worry. I shrugged. ¡°Just some guy.¡± I was totally lying my butt off, but I was doing what had to be done and felt zero guilt over it. ¡°Pretty cute, though. If he were playing for my team I¡¯d go for it.¡± Trip snorted, turning away again. ¡°Don¡¯t you already have enough boyfriends?¡± I punched him in the arm. ¡°Shut up, asshole.¡± I noticed a small smile play across his lips just before I turned away to join Winky, Rob, and Bodo. They were all deep in discussion on the other side of the hut, and as I got near, I learned it was about the logistics involved in moving looms, cattle, horses, and other supplies from Kahayatle to Haven. As the details were revealed, I was glad that there were people smarter than me involved in planning that particular event. It was going to be a nightmare made much worse by the fact that we¡¯d probably be fighting off canners the entire trip down. We got up before the sun broke over the horizon. Someone shoved a bowl of food in my hand and threw my pack over my shoulders, heavy with supplies. I thanked the girl distractedly, searching for the rest of my friends. Rob and Winky came over from another hut and joined Bodo and me. We ate while we talked over the day¡¯s plans. ¡°So here¡¯s the deal,¡± said Rob, ¡°we¡¯ve got six horses, four head of cattle - two cows and their two babies, four sheep, two pigs, three dogs, some chickens, one loom, three bales of wool, and this and that. The kid in charge of the breeding program says he can get us sperm later when we need it, so no bulls are going on this trip.¡± ¡°Okay, can I just say ew to that?¡± I asked. ¡°Who¡¯s going to be the sperm delivery person?¡± asked Winky, snickering. Rob smiled big. ¡°Fohi gets my vote.¡± ¡°What¡¯s dis and dat?¡± asked Bodo, just before shoving a hunk of meat into his mouth that was so big I wasn¡¯t sure how he was even going to chew it. Somehow he managed to talk around it, though. ¡°You saidt dat dare is dis and dat too.¡± ¡°Feed for the animals, extra harnesses, food, junk like that.¡± ¡°What about the ATVs?¡± I asked. ¡°We have two four-wheelers and one swamp buggy. We¡¯ll hook all the cows and sheep together and ride two-by-two on the horses. It won¡¯t be the most comfortable trip in the world, but it should work. Most of the kids will be on foot, but we¡¯ll ride ahead and check things out, get advance warning of any trouble.¡± ¡°What about canners?¡± I asked. ¡°We¡¯re bringing three grenades and plenty of firepower,¡± said Winky. ¡°Do you guys know if Trip is sending anyone to the Triple Bar D?¡± I asked. ¡°And is he coming with us?¡± ¡°I heard him asking for volunteers for the birds,¡± said Rob. ¡°I don¡¯t know if anyone offered to go. And I¡¯m not sure if he¡¯s going with us or not.¡± Winky spoke up. ¡°With Kowi gone, he might not feel like he can.¡± ¡°That¡¯s stupid. The ranch will have the fewest amount of us. More of us are going to be at Haven. That¡¯s where he should be.¡± Rob sounded cranky. I could see both sides. ¡°I hope he comes, but I understand if he feels like he should stay. Maybe we could get to a point someday that people could go back and forth.¡± It was wishful thinking, but I liked the idea. Maybe if we could establish more settlements between the two points it would be safer to travel¡­ I shook my head, getting it out of the clouds. Baby steps, Bryn. Get to Haven in once piece and then maybe you can dream about settlements and safe passage. Trip came into the hut as we were finishing our breakfast. ¡°Ready to go?¡± he asked. ¡°Are you?¡± asked Bodo. ¡°Yes. I¡¯m going just to make sure you get there okay. Then I¡¯ll come back.¡± I kept my comments to myself. Maybe seeing Peter would change his mind. Or maybe I could convince Flick to flirt with Peter a little to make Trip jealous. I laughed at my pitiful ideas of matchmaking. I was probably the last person who should be doing anything like that. My own love life was a total mess and clear proof I had no idea what I was doing when it came to boys and knowing what the heck they were thinking or what they wanted. ¡°Follow me,¡± said Winky, putting her bowl down on a table as she walked out of the hut. ¡°Time to get our butts to Haven.¡± I left my uneaten portion on the table next to hers and walked behind her. Bodo was after me and Rob brought up the rear. Trip disappeared into the trees or something because when I looked back he was gone. Sometimes he made me think that he did that crap just for effect and not for any good reason. ¡°What¡¯s the plan for Coli?¡± I asked Winky. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I talked to Trip about her yesterday. They¡¯re going to see if she wants to come to the ranch, but none of us think she¡¯ll come. Kowi was the only reason she stayed semi-social. I think she¡¯s going to be the loon of the swamp or something.¡± ¡°That¡¯s sad.¡± ¡°Yeah. If you can ignore all the times she tried to kill us, maybe. I¡¯m having a hard time with that right now.¡± She held up her bandaged arm. I smiled, lifting up mine. ¡°I hear ya, sister.¡± At least I had Winky to thank for a clean bandage and LaShay to thank for the very neat stitches. She¡¯d said goodbye to me last night, promising to come visit someday. We walked for ten minutes before we came to a large clearing marked off by several pens. Inside one were our animals. They were peacefully eating some piles of dried hay. All of them had halter things made of braided leather on their heads. Groups of kids were standing around or balancing on fence rails, all of them with backpacks on or nearby. Several kids dressed in pants made of animal hide were on horseback. Their horses had saddles with colorful blankets underneath. The most buff of the group came riding over, and when he got close I realized it was Paci. And he was shirtless. My blood heated up and moved up my neck to burn my face. Paci leaned down, offering me his hand. ¡°Up you go,¡± he said, smiling. My heart totally went pitter patter. Now I knew what that stupid expression meant. Tiny heart attack alert. Act casual. It¡¯s no big deal. Just get up on the stupid horse! ¡°No,¡± said Bodo. I turned to look at him, frowning. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I saidt no. You can ride with someone else.¡± He folded his arms across his chest, a mutinous expression clouding his face. ¡°What? You want to ride with me, dude?¡± asked Paci, laughing and brushing off Bodo¡¯s stupid mood. ¡°Sorry, but this saddle¡¯s taken. You¡¯re too heavy. You go ride with Winky.¡± I looked over and saw Winky taking a horse from a guy who¡¯d just climbed down. I gave Bodo one more hard look before turning back to Paci. I could have declined and rode with someone else, but the way Bodo was being such a jerk made me say yes to Paci. That, and I didn¡¯t want to cause a big fuss in front of all these people trying to help us - sacrificing their supplies and possibly lives getting this stuff to Haven. My relationship troubles were so minor league and unimportant in comparison. I grabbed Paci¡¯s offered elbow. I used the leverage he provided and the muscles of my good arm and abs to fly up onto the back of his horse. I landed behind the saddle on the horse¡¯s rump and gripped Paci around the middle with one arm, allowing my bad one to rest between us. It hung there in the sling Winky had given me last night before I fell asleep. I rolled my shoulder experimentally, trying to ease the stiffness. The knife wound was burning from the exertion of getting on the horse, but looking down I didn¡¯t see any blood on the clean bandages. LaShay¡¯s stitches were apparently holding - not only neat but also strong. She¡¯d learned a lot in just a short time. Bodo stood there glaring as us for a few seconds, but then finally walked away, saying nothing. He used a nearby fence to get up high enough so that he could join Winky on her horse. She pulled up next to him and held the reins while he climbed on behind her saddle. Page 30 The animal didn¡¯t seem all that thrilled about having Bodo¡¯s big old butt on the back. It reared up a little, and Bodo had to grip onto Winky¡¯s waist with both hands to stay on. She handled the horse like a pro, leaning into the horse¡¯s motions and jerking the reins sharply to the left. It had the result of making the agitated beast spin to the side. It quickly calmed down, or at least stopped trying to get rid of Bodo. It pranced a little as Winky straightened its head out, twitching its tail left and right over and over. I could hear the swishing of the stiff black hair from where I sat. I was glad it was Bodo on that particular horse and not me. My bad arm made horseback riding a lot more complicated and scary than it would have been on a good day, and I was no horsewoman. I preferred to have my feet on the ground. But I knew this would be faster, especially considering how sore my muscles were and the state of my wound. The buggy and ATVs were filled with supplies and had no room for any more passengers. At least I wasn¡¯t walking behind the line like the fifty or so odd kids I saw milling around. Several of the kids were scrambling to load up the last bits of stuff into the swamp buggy and trailers behind ATVs. I saw a gas can being emptied into one of them. It made me wonder how much fuel they had left. They¡¯d sacrificed so much already, and now they were doing even more, all in the blind hope that I was leading them to safety and a new home. The pressure brought on a massive headache. I reached up to massage my forehead. I missed Kowi even more now. He¡¯d been so good under pressure, so smart about managing his people. Every single one of us was going to miss his wise counsel, even me. He¡¯d come to represent almost a father-figure to me, even though we were pretty much the same age. It seemed like I¡¯d lost another dad, and that just plain sucked. If anything happened to Peter while I was gone, I wasn¡¯t going to make it. I would just give up. ¡°You ready to go?¡± Paci asked. ¡°Yippy kye-oh,¡± I said without a trace of humor, thoughts of my friend making me feel like we had little time left. Paci laughed. ¡°I haven¡¯t heard that in too long. Yippy kye-oh, motherfucker.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but smile at his good humor. I knew he was going to be mourning the loss of his brother a lot longer and deeper than I would be, and it was nice to know that at least for this moment, he wasn¡¯t completely miserable. Paci nudged the horse with his heels and made a clicking noise. The animal moved forward, jerking me back a little. I gripped onto Paci more tightly, trying to ignore the fact that my hand was lying flat against his abs. I could feel the muscles moving beneath his warm skin. ¡°Careful, I¡¯m ticklish,¡± Paci said softly. I was very tempted to test the truth of that statement, but I knew better than to play that game. Bodo and I were cruising through troubled waters right now, and it would be a big mistake to do anything that would be hurtful or rude like flirting, even if no one but Paci and I knew about it. The swamp buggy took the lead, winding its way through the corrals and off onto a path that went through the sparse trees circling this part of the compound. I hated that it made so much noise, but there was nothing we could do about that, and we needed its hauling capacity. The people riding double on horseback came next, then the cattle and sheep, with the dogs running alongside keeping them in line. The ATVs and people on foot made up our caboose. One of the ATV trailers had six chickens and one rooster in a group of small boxes, and the other ATV trailer had two piglets in a dog kennel box. They went from making little grunting sounds to squealing in fright as the four-wheeler started moving. The only ones who didn¡¯t seem to be bothered at all by the journey were the dogs. They ran alongside the walking animals, keeping them in line, totally focused on their work - unwavering and never distracted. I wished I could be so singularly-minded. The entire time we walked along, I was jerking my head left and right, waiting for canners to appear out in the distant trees. I worried about how we¡¯d fend them off out here in the open. I thought about the carrier pigeons and the special code we needed to learn so we could send and understand messages. I thought about my boyfriend and the man in front of me whose warm skin beneath my hand felt so inviting. I suffered under the heavy strain of guilt and fear, wondering how I was going to make it to age eighteen without dying of a gunshot wound, a stabbing, or even just a plain old run-of-the-mill broken heart. About three hours into our trip, the swamp buggy stopped. One of the riders spurred his horse on to ride up to the driver¡¯s side of the vehicle, exchanging words with him. We couldn¡¯t hear anything they said; they were too far away. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked, leaning to the side so I could see around Paci better. Nothing seemed amiss to me. The path ahead was clear for a long way. There were some dense trees up ahead, but that was it. ¡°Don¡¯t know.¡± Paci shifted in the saddle, making the leather creak. Winky and Bodo turned around and came back to be next to us. ¡°What are they doing?¡± asked Winky. ¡°I have no idea,¡± I said. I shifted to get down, but Paci put his hand back, catching me on my side and keeping me in my spot behind him. ¡°Just stay. If we have to get out of here in a hurry, I don¡¯t want you on the ground.¡± My blood chilled at the idea of racing off on this horse while all those other kids stayed on the ground. Easy targets. Not to mention how sore my crotch would be from the abuse of this horse¡¯s hard butt muscles. The kid who had run up to talk to the driver came cantering back to us. ¡°Trouble ahead, maybe. Caught ¡®em in the binocs. Four at least.¡± ¡°Where are they?¡± I asked. I searched the far-off trees, seeing nothing. ¡°Dead ahead. We have to pass through that grove to use the shortest route to the prison. We can¡¯t risk going anywhere near the highway.¡± ¡°Bring me to the buggy, Paci, please.¡± I wanted to see for myself. It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t trust the people on watch; I just wanted to figure out what kind of threat these strangers might pose. Maybe they wouldn¡¯t be dangerous at all. The horse surged forward under Paci¡¯s commands, and we trotted to the buggy. My teeth chattered in my head the entire way, and I was glad when it was over. I much preferred a walking horse to one in a hurry. Rob leaned way out of the driver¡¯s seat. ¡°Yo, what¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Can I borrow the glasses?¡± I asked. He handed me the binoculars after taking them from his buggy passenger. I couldn¡¯t see inside to know who it was. ¡°Here you go. Check out that bunch of trees right there,¡± he said, pointing to a section of the landscape that was particularly dense. I put the lenses up to my eyes, and Paci turned the horse sideways. Once the beast calmed down and stood still I was able to focus on what I was looking at. At first I saw nothing. Then I noticed a girl standing on the edge of the woods. She was wearing a bright red shirt and hard to miss now that I had better eyesight. I scanned the area around her, and about fifty yards to the left, I noticed something weird in the trees. ¡°What the hell?¡± I said under my breath. ¡°What?¡± asked Rob. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Did you see that ¡­ treehouse or whatever that is?¡± ¡°Treehouse? No. Let me see.¡± Rob held out his hand for the binoculars. Before he could put them up to his eyes they were yanked away. Rob looked at me and rolled his eyes. Then Trip¡¯s voice came from inside the passenger area. ¡°It¡¯s a treehouse. She¡¯s right.¡± ¡°So what¡¯s that mean?¡± asked Paci. ¡°It means this is someone¡¯s home, so we just need go tell them that we¡¯re passing through and we don¡¯t mean them any harm, that¡¯s all. No big deal.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure if I was trying to convince them or myself of that fact, but either way, my brain wasn¡¯t paying any attention to my calming words. My heart was beating like crazy and my headache got a lot worse all of a sudden. ¡°Who¡¯s going?¡± asked Bodo. It got silent. ¡°I¡¯ll go,¡± I said. ¡°No, I¡¯ll go,¡± came Trip¡¯s voice. ¡°Anyone got a white shirt?¡± I looked around, not sure why he suddenly wanted to be dressed. He seemed to be very attached to walking around half naked. Everyone had on patterned shirts, and mine hadn¡¯t been white in almost a year. No one responded. ¡°I just need to wave a peace sign around, I¡¯m not going to wear it. Come on, someone has to have something white.¡± The passenger door to the buggy opened and slammed closed. Trip came around the front of the vehicle and stood next to the head of Paci¡¯s horse. ¡°Here, take my sling,¡± I said, pulling it up over my head. I unwound it from the bottom of my elbow, trying not to jerk my arm around too much. He reached up and took it from me. ¡°Thanks.¡± He met my eyes for a second, and I reached out and tapped him on the shoulder with my toe in a gentle kick. ¡°Please be careful. Peter would never forgive me if something happened to you, and he can be a serious pain in the butt when he¡¯s not happy.¡± Trip gave me a very charming half smile before going all serious again and turning around. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m going. If they do anything aggressive go into defensive mode. No one come in after me. We have no idea how many people they have hidden in there.¡± He mumbled under his breath. ¡°Could be a whole damn army.¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t going to just leave you,¡± said Rob, sounding pissed. ¡°We¡¯ll come back at night and get you out if they take you. Count on that, man. Count on it.¡± ¡°Do what you think is best. I won¡¯t blame you if you choose not to.¡± Trip walked away, holding the sling up high above him and waving it around. We all watched as he got farther and farther away, his form shrinking in the distance. We traded the binoculars around, each of us on horseback taking turns watching the reaction of the treehouse kids. Only the girl with the red shirt showed herself, and she did nothing but stand there. The other three Trip had seen were staying undercover. The animals in our convoy stomped their feet every once in a while making their harnesses jingle, and the sheep let out a few bleats now and again, but those were the only sounds we heard. I kept waiting for a gunshot to take our friend down, my heart nearly exploding with the stress of it. Please keep him safe, please keep him safe! Aside from the obvious grief I¡¯d feel if Trip got hurt, I didn¡¯t even want to consider how poor Peter would suffer. Thoughts of my sensitive friend who¡¯d already been through too much pain made me want to wrap Trip up in a giant bulletproof body cocoon and roll him all the way to Haven on a damn dolly. This was a stupid idea. Why did I let him go?! When Trip finally made it to within ten feet of the girl and nothing happened to him, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Maybe the Miccosukee and Creek would be able to keep this chief. Maybe this chief wouldn¡¯t be killed in cold blood like Kowi had been. We waited for what seemed like forever for Trip to negotiate our passage through the treehouse kids¡¯ land. I was looking through the binoculars when Trip turned around and started waving my sling around in a circle. I couldn¡¯t tell what he was trying to do. ¡°What the hell?¡± ¡°What¡¯s he doing?¡± asked Paci. He twisted around to look at my face. ¡°Here. Take a look.¡± I handed him the binoculars. Paci watched for a few seconds and then kicked our horse as he lowered the glasses away from his face. He handed them to Rob as we rode by. ¡°Come on, everyone! He¡¯s telling us to advance!¡± The convoy started up again, and I wasn¡¯t sure if I was happy we were moving or not. My butt had gotten somewhat of a rest, and now the damn saddle blanket was grinding into my nether regions again. I was going to have a rash where girls should never ever have rashes. I gritted my teeth through the discomfort, knowing that this pain meant I was alive and that I was better off than a lot of kids this week. I had zero right to complain. Page 31 Paci¡¯s horse took the lead and Winky¡¯s came just behind and next to us. ¡°Should we get our weapons out?¡± asked Winky. ¡°They should be easy to get to but not out. We don¡¯t want to be threatening,¡± said Paci. ¡°I agree. And I also think everyone on foot and with the animals should stay back,¡± I added. ¡°I will take care of dem,¡± said Bodo, sliding off the horse¡¯s back in a not very elegant maneuver. He disappeared behind us. Winky snorted. ¡°Can¡¯t handle the horse.¡± I turned around to watch Bodo go, and he was limping and reaching down to rub his crotch. A small part of me was glad I wasn¡¯t the only one suffering. Bodo gave directions to the people behind us to drop back. Paci urged the horse more and we put more distance between the rest of our friends and the treehouse kids. Winky stayed even with us, and the swamp buggy was right behind. We were a pretty effective wall if anyone decided to start shooting, but I was hoping it wouldn¡¯t to come to that. As we got closer, several other kids came out of the trees to stand by the girl in red. I recognized one of them. ¡°Who¡¯s that girl? The one with the raggedy clothes?¡± I asked. All of them looked pretty well-dressed, all things considered, but not her. She looked like a homeless beggar. ¡°That¡¯s that Gail girl. Remember? She came to Haven with me. She was with those two guys I picked up on the road as I came down.¡± Paci¡¯s tone said he was about as thrilled to see her as I was. My uneasiness increased. ¡°She was bad news.¡± ¡°Maybe. She had an attitude, that¡¯s for sure.¡± Paci¡¯s voice lowered as we got close enough that they might hear us. When we were just a few feet behind Trip we stopped. I leaned into Paci so I could swing my leg over behind the horse. My plan to make a super cool getting-off-the-horse move ended in total failure. And happily for me, Trip turned around just in time to enjoy it along with all the treehouse kids and probably all the kids behind me, too. I fell into the dust at the horse¡¯s feet when my legs refused to cooperate. I¡¯d lost circulation or something, everything numb except my butt, which was currently feeling the pain of having fallen from about five feet up. Trip walked over slowly and lifted me up by my armpits, making me look like a toddler to these strangers. Several of them laughed out loud. Others were kind enough to cover their smirks with their hands or turn around. ¡°Thanks,¡± I said quietly. ¡°Guess I lost my legs for a minute there.¡± I banged first one foot then the other on the ground trying to get the tingles to go away. ¡°Way to make a first impression,¡± he said. There was no smile on his face, but I got the distinct impression he was laughing at me. ¡°Never call me ordinary or boring,¡± I said, before stepping around him. I fell a little and grabbed onto his arm for support. He just stood there and waited for me to stop being an idiot. I pretended to look behind me and spoke out of the corner of my mouth at him. ¡°That girl in the rags came to Haven and refused to enter with some bullshit. Watch out for her.¡± I looked up as I turned back to face our welcoming party, and caught Trip nodding so slightly I questioned whether I¡¯d even seen it. He was ever so much cooler than me. We both stepped forward to talk to the girl in red. She stood there with her hands fisted at her sides. She didn¡¯t look like a trained fighter, but she sure looked determined to be tough. She had dark skin and her hair looked like it had been hacked off with a dull knife. Her big boobs were the only thing keeping her from looking very boyish. She wore camouflage pants and had a canteen on a belt at her waist. Her other hip had a knife in a holder on it. ¡°Hi,¡± I said, stopping about five feet in front of her. ¡°Hi,¡± she said. Her eyes darted nervously from me to Trip and then over our shoulders to the group behind us. They had stopped about fifty yards away. ¡°My name¡¯s Bryn, and this is Trip. We¡¯re just trying to pass through. We don¡¯t mean you any harm, and we¡¯re not here to take anything.¡± ¡°This is our land. Our spot,¡± she said. ¡°Nobody passes for free.¡± ¡°What are you, a troll?¡± asked Trip in a snotty voice. ¡°We gotta pay your toll to get over your bridge? Please. This is Miccosukee land. Always has been, always will be.¡± She looked at him calmly, only her flexing fists belying her nervousness. ¡°Wrong on both counts.¡± Then she looked at me. ¡°His history¡¯s as flawed as his reasoning. Either you pay, or you go away. It¡¯s simple.¡± ¡°We have stuff to trade,¡± I said. ¡°What do you need?¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t giving her any of our stuff!¡± Trip was indignant. ¡°Trip, can it, would ya?¡± I tried to give him my stern look but his was much more effective than mine. I just rolled my eyes and looked back at the girl. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Robson.¡± I thought I¡¯d heard wrong. ¡°Say that again?¡± ¡°You heard me. Robson.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a guy¡¯s name,¡± said Trip. ¡°At least I¡¯m not named after an accident someone has when they can¡¯t walk right.¡± I had to laugh at that. A snort escaped before I could stop it. I held out my arm to keep Trip back. ¡°Relax, Trip. She¡¯s right. Let¡¯s get down to business, okay?¡± I pleaded with him using my eyes. I was going for the sad puppydog look. ¡°Stop staring at me like that,¡± he said, backing down and not pushing against my arm anymore. ¡°You look like a canner lunatic.¡± I wiped my expression clean, going back to the girl. ¡°Okay, Robson, what do you want to trade?¡± She gestured over to Gail. ¡°We¡¯ll trade that chick over there for a gun and safe passage.¡± ¡°Uhhh, we don¡¯t trade people,¡± I said. ¡°But we do, especially when they¡¯re a pain in the ass like she is.¡± ¡°Hey!¡± Gail shouted. ¡°I¡¯m not the pain in the ass, you are!¡± The few kids standing around her laughed a little, none of them looking at her. It was pretty clear they were behind Robson one hundred percent. ¡°How about we take her off your hands as a service and you just thank us for it?¡± asked Trip. ¡°You won¡¯t have to feed her or put up with her anymore,¡± I added. ¡°That¡¯s got to be worth something. We can¡¯t give you a gun. We don¡¯t have enough.¡± That last part of my statement wasn¡¯t even close to true with the armory we had at the prison, but the last thing I wanted to do was arm potential or future enemies. ¡°You¡¯re in no position to bargain. Take the PITA, give us the gun, and we¡¯ll let you through. Don¡¯t and you turn around or suffer the consequences.¡± ¡°Troll,¡± said Trip in a soft voice. ¡°And one more word out of pretty boy there and the deal¡¯s off too,¡± said Robson, not even looking at Trip. ¡°Fine,¡± I said. ¡°Deal. But no bullets.¡± ¡°We have plenty,¡± she said. I turned Trip around and pushed against his lower back. ¡°Be right back,¡± I said over my shoulder. I could hear Gail ranting behind me the whole way back. Apparently she didn¡¯t want to go with us anymore than we wanted her to. Robson seemed pretty tough. Maybe Gail felt safe with her. Gail¡¯s attachment to the treehouse couldn¡¯t be for Robson¡¯s sparkling personality, that was for sure. ¡°Why¡¯d you tell her we¡¯d take that idiot with us?¡± he asked. ¡°And offer her one of our guns? We don¡¯t have enough.¡± I stopped pushing on him and walked at his side, keeping my voice as low as possible. ¡°We have a ton of guns at Haven. Hundreds. And enough bullets to kill every canner a hundred times over. And that Gail girl hates me, so she isn¡¯t going to agree to walk into Haven. We¡¯ll get her out of the Glades and send her on her way if that¡¯s what she wants. No harm, no foul.¡± Trip stopped and faced me for a second. ¡°Most of the time I look at you and I see a complete goofball. But then you go and do something like that and I see something else.¡± I put my hand on my hip. ¡°Oh yeah, like what? A brilliant mastermind?¡± He smiled. ¡°No. Someone not as goofy, but still a little goofy.¡± He walked over to the buggy, leaving me standing there. I couldn¡¯t think of a sharp retort, so I just shut up, waiting for Trip to find the crappiest gun in his cache of weapons. Bodo came over as I waited. ¡°What happened over dare? Are we going to cross?¡± ¡°Yes. We had to do a trade, though. We take that Gail girl off their hands and give them a gun and we can go.¡± ¡°Dat sounds like dey get all da good stuff.¡± I shrugged. ¡°At least we get to go through. And like I told Trip, Gail won¡¯t want to stay with us. She rejected us once already.¡± ¡°Yes, but now she iss getting rejected again. Maybe she hass no place to go now.¡± ¡°Maybe. But unless she wants to cooperate, that¡¯s not my problem.¡± ¡°Maybe she can grow tomatoes,¡± said Bodo, getting a far off look. ¡°Maybe she will be especially smart with eggplants.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Eggplants? Can¡¯t we just outlaw those from Haven altogether?¡± He smiled back at me, the first time in what felt like a long time. ¡°I make a fairy, fairy goodt ratatouille. You will like it.¡± ¡°You keep your rat soup away from me, boy,¡± I said, walking away to join Winky at her horse. ¡°It¡¯s not of rats. It¡¯s of vegetables.¡± I waved him away over my head. Things felt more normal now, or a least a tiny bit more normal. We were going to get through this grove and then we¡¯d be almost home. Things were looking up, and for the first time in days, I felt my heart lighten just a little. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you traded for me. She would have kept me there. I was helping them.¡± Gail was still yammering on and on, two hours after we¡¯d taken her through the grove. She¡¯d decided to walk next to Winky¡¯s and Bodo¡¯s horse, so even though Paci held back on the reins a little, we still had to listen to her. ¡°If you were such a big help, why¡¯d they want to trade you?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Great question. It¡¯s that idiot Robson. All she does all day long is bark orders like a freakin¡¯ drill sergeant.¡± ¡°What are you goingk to do now?¡± Bodo asked her, finally getting to the part I was wondering about. I hadn¡¯t pressed the issue because I didn¡¯t want her to think she wasn¡¯t welcome. She actually wasn¡¯t welcome as far as I was concerned, but I knew it wouldn¡¯t be fair to exclude kids who rubbed me the wrong way. Haven was not a dictatorship. It had to be a kind of democracy with more than one person making decisions. And even if everyone disliked her, it still wasn¡¯t a reason to exclude her and send her out to starve, as long as she was willing to be loyal to all of us. ¡°I guess I¡¯m going with you guys. It¡¯s not like I have a choice.¡± She obviously wasn¡¯t happy about being trapped, and I could hardly blame her. ¡°You have to swear an oath and mean it,¡± said Winky, ¡°or you aren¡¯t coming in. I don¡¯t care how hungry you are.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a serious bitch, you know that?¡± Gail had stopped walking and was staring at Winky with her hands fisted at her sides. I stopped myself from mentioning out loud how much she looked like Robson when she did that. ¡°No, I¡¯m not. I just tell it like it is. And you rejected Haven once, so there¡¯s no reason for us to think you won¡¯t try to do it again. But we have rules and you should know that before you walk all that way.¡± Page 32 ¡°You mean she has rules.¡± Gail was glaring at me now. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t put me in the middle of this,¡± I said. ¡°You know the deal, Gail. Winky was just reminding you how we operate. You left threatening us just the other day. Now you want to come in again, so you¡¯re going to have to fix that. That¡¯s all on you, not her and not me.¡± I squeezed Paci a little around the middle and he got my signal exactly, spinning the horse around and walking the opposite direction. Now was a perfect time to check on the other riders and kids walking at the back while enjoying the side benefit of avoiding Gail. ¡°Wow,¡± said Paci. ¡°Yeah. Wow.¡± ¡°Think she¡¯ll stay?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not even sure if she¡¯ll enter,¡± I said. ¡°Winky¡¯s right. She has to agree to our oath or we can¡¯t let her in.¡± ¡°You¡¯re much easier on people than Trip or even Kowi was.¡± Paci¡¯s voice hitched a little at the mention of his brother¡¯s name. ¡°How are you doing?¡± I asked softly, knowing the loss of his chief was bad enough, but the fact that Kowi was much more than that to Paci had to be tearing him up. ¡°As good as I can be. I haven¡¯t had time to process it, I think. We have too many emergencies going on for me to focus on it.¡± ¡°When we get to Haven, we¡¯ll have a ceremony.¡± Paci nodded but said nothing. He probably didn¡¯t want to cry in front of all these people, so I didn¡¯t press the issue anymore. We rode near the kids who were walking and eventually I got down to join them. I limped along for a mile or so before my sore butt allowed for a normal gait. Paci kept pace beside me. I found myself looking up at him a lot, studying his profile. He was so strong. I never thought about it much before, but there were a lot of similarities between him and Kowi. Besides both being handsome and very muscular, they were both patient and wise beyond their years. And intense. Something about Paci was just so magnetic to me. I wasn¡¯t sure everyone felt that way about him, but it was stupid for me to deny it wasn¡¯t the case for me. I was ashamed to think that it was these feelings I had about Paci that made me less tolerant of Bodo¡¯s recent behavior. Would I be more forgiving if Paci weren¡¯t in the picture? Would I be less sensitive to the things Bodo was saying and doing if Paci wasn¡¯t so damn cute? I didn¡¯t have any answers, but I did know one thing: I loved Bodo, and while it might not mean anything to him, it meant something to me. I had to figure out what was going on with him and do what I could to repair the relationship. If he didn¡¯t want it anymore, then that was a different story, but I wasn¡¯t ready for it to be over. I didn¡¯t give my heart to someone and then just yank it back at the first sign of trouble. Love is supposed to be forever. Someone shouting up ahead dragged me out of my emotional wallowing. ¡°Look! It¡¯s Haven!¡± I walked out to the side a little so I could see around the group in front of me. The first thing I saw was the fence that surrounded the property. The prison was far from the edge. This would be the area where the animals would graze, at least until we had something else figured out. As my eyes scanned the building, I noticed something else. ¡°Holy crap,¡± I said as I tried to decide whether my eyes were playing tricks on me. ¡°Is that smoke?¡± asked Paci. ¡°It looks like it,¡± I said, my heart leaping into my throat. ¡°Help me up, Paci.¡± I reached my good arm towards him and gripped his elbow when it came down. He took off at a gallop as soon as I was on and my arms were wrapped around him in a death grip. I ignored the painful stretching of my wound and my sore butt. I was more worried about falling from this running mountain than popping a few stitches, knowing the stitches would be a lot less painful. And my bruised private parts would heal eventually. I couldn¡¯t bear the thought of arriving too late to help again. Please not Peter! Please let Peter and everyone else be okay! The closer we got to the prison building, the more freaked out I became. There was one hell of a fire going on somewhere, and we couldn¡¯t enter the property from where we were. We had to run around the perimeter to get to the front gate. I prayed we hadn¡¯t arrived too late. Paci urged the horse on stronger, yelling, ¡°Get up!¡± as he kicked his heels into its flanks. The beast surged forward, and I had to hold onto Paci with all my strength. I kept my face plastered against his back and lost sight of what was going on ahead of us. I felt us turning the corner and the horse slowing a bit, so I took a chance and leaned my head away from Paci¡¯s back to see what I could. When I was finally able to focus on the source of the smoke, I wasn¡¯t sure whether to be relieved or more worried than I already was. It made no sense. ¡°What¡¯s going on over there?¡± asked Paci as we pulled up to the gate. ¡°I have no idea, but I¡¯m going to find out.¡± I slid to the ground as soon as we stopped. I fell on my butt but jumped up in a hurry, ignoring the bruises I¡¯d just added to my collection. Several people came from inside to greet me at the gate, one of them Peter with the keys. He was smiling. ¡°Oh my god, Bryn, you have no idea how happy I am to see you,¡± said Peter, a little out of breath and searching for the right key to unlock the gate. ¡°What the hell happened here?¡± I waved over at the huge bonfire that was sitting on top of the mass grave we¡¯d just filled in before I left. ¡°Lots of news, lots of news.¡± Peter stuck the key into the lock and turned the tumblers. ¡°Where¡¯s everyone else? Are they okay?¡± He searched my face as two kids pushed the gate open for me. Before I had a chance to answer, he looked up at Paci. ¡°Hi, Paci. Welcome back.¡± ¡°Thanks, Peter. Trip¡¯s on his way. He¡¯s in the swamp buggy.¡± Peter¡¯s face turned pink. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s nice. What about the others? Are they all here? How many did you bring? Did you get any of the supplies I put on the list?¡± I gave him a secret smile. As if he cared about anything but that dope with the tattoos. I nudged him as I walked by and gave him a look. ¡°Shut up,¡± he said, falling into step beside me. He turned around and shouted over to the kids at the gate which now also included Jamal and Ronald. ¡°Let anyone in who says the oath! Take all weapons as they enter!¡± When he turned back I put my arm through his. ¡°So, tell me all about how much you missed me and why you¡¯ve decided pyromania is a good decision for Haven.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll have you know that first of all, I missed you way too much. No more going anywhere without me. And second of all, we had a little skirmish here while you were gone, and we had to burn the bodies.¡± I stopped, effectively jerking him back by the elbow. ¡°Hey! Watch it, lady. Delicate constitution over here.¡± ¡°Bodies? You¡¯re burning bodies? Whose bodies?¡± I was horrified not only by the idea but by his casualness over the whole thing. ¡°Yes. We had to. We can¡¯t bury everyone who dies here. We¡¯ll run out of space, and it¡¯s not good for the water under the ground. And they¡¯re canners, not our people, so don¡¯t worry about it.¡± I started walking again, but this time without hanging onto Peter¡¯s arm. ¡°Canners are people too, you know,¡± I said in a low tone. Peter grabbed my shoulder and forced me to stop and face him. ¡°No, Bryn, they¡¯re not. They came here to murder us, and we killed them in self-defense. They¡¯re not human, they¡¯re monsters. I don¡¯t have any pity for them and neither should you.¡± I nodded. ¡°I know that. I know. It¡¯s just ¡­ I¡¯m getting sick of all the killing, I guess.¡± My gaze dropped to the ground. ¡°Some bad stuff happened on the road, didn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Yes. Some really bad stuff.¡± I was trying really hard not to cry. ¡°Tell me.¡± He reached down and took my hands in his. ¡°Go ahead and cry if you want. I won¡¯t mock you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m afraid that if I start I won¡¯t be able to stop.¡± Peter shrugged. ¡°So what? Everyone needs a good cry every once in a while. It¡¯s cleansing. So tell me what happened. I¡¯m all ears.¡± ¡°Jason and Kowi are dead.¡± ¡°Whaaat?!¡± Peter¡¯s hand flew to his mouth. ¡°You¡¯re not joking, I know you¡¯d never joke about that, but ¡­ that can¡¯t be true.¡± He dropped his hand and took mine again, squeezing it even harder. ¡°It is. Canners hit there, too. They were having a friggin¡¯ party when we arrived. But that¡¯s not all of it. First of all, we ran into a kid with a semi full of kids on the highway. We hijacked his truck and went to his ranch and met his sister, his big herd of monster cows, and his carrier pigeon messaging system that he has set up all over the state.¡± Peter crossed his arms and stared at me for a few seconds. ¡°Did you find some peyote on your trip? Is that what I¡¯m seeing here? Are we tripping?¡± ¡°No, I wish I was.¡± A commotion at the gate took my attention away for a second. All the kids were coming out of the prison to ooh and ahh over the animals that were arriving. Derek was taking things in hand and moving people back so the newcomers would have room to maneuver. ¡°Take the livestock around to the big yard behind the prison!¡± I yelled. Derek gave me a thumbs up before turning his attention back to the arrival of our newest members. ¡°As you were saying?¡± prompted Peter. ¡°As I was saying, there¡¯s this thing we need to get in on, the EWS - early warning system. They use birds to carry messages, and if we get a contact point set up here, they¡¯ll let us hook in.¡± ¡°And what does that do for us?¡± ¡°It lets us know when canners are on the move and what they¡¯re doing. And also about good kids and what they¡¯re doing. It¡¯s like networking kind of but slower than we were used to before.¡± ¡°Hmmm. Sounds very interesting. What do we need to do to get involved?¡± ¡°We need to get some of their birds and get trained in their secret code. I¡¯m not allowed to learn it.¡± ¡°How come?¡± Peter sounded offended on my behalf. I hugged him because I adored his loyalty. ¡°Don¡¯t be mad at them. They said there¡¯s a target on my butt, and they can¡¯t give the code to someone so high profile.¡± He patted me on the back. ¡°High profile? Oh, so we¡¯re all Miss Hollywood now, is it?¡± I pushed him away gently. ¡°Shush, it¡¯s not like that. But the canners want to kill me for biting that guy¡¯s nuts, so I guess it¡¯s too much of a risk for me to know secrets.¡± ¡°Ball-biter.¡± Peter gave me a very sneaky smile. ¡°What did you just call me?¡± I was almost whispering. ¡°You heard me. Ball-biter.¡± I threw my arms up. ¡°What the hell! Why is everyone calling me that!¡± Peter giggled. ¡°We had some other visitors, not just the canners.¡± ¡°Who?¡± I was totally mystified. ¡°How does that have anything to do with calling me that horrible name?¡± Peter turned around and stared at the front doors to the prison. ¡°See for yourself.¡± I looked over in time to see Kirsten the Amazon girl hugging Bodo very tightly to her. Chapter Seven MY FACE BURNED WITH SOME emotion I couldn¡¯t quite identify. Shame? Jealousy? Anger? Whatever it was, it wasn¡¯t pleasant, and I didn¡¯t like feeling it or the fact that it was once again my boyfriend causing it to happen. ¡°She showed up just before the canners and helped us deal with them. She said she got the message they were coming for the ball-biter and decided to take you up on your invitation to visit.¡± Page 33 I stood next to Peter, my feet rooted to the spot. That hug was going on for way too long, and Bodo didn¡¯t seem all that interested about breaking it up. I let the ball-biter comment slide for now. I had bigger problems, that much was obvious. ¡°How nice of her to come to our rescue,¡± I said. I was only being partially sarcastic. I did wonder what her motivations were and if they were entirely altruistic, especially when I noticed how hard she was mashing her boobs into my boyfriend¡¯s chest. ¡°Friendly, aren¡¯t we?¡± said Peter under his breath. ¡°A little too friendly,¡± I agreed, walking towards them. ¡°Don¡¯t do anything stupid,¡± said Peter, walking fast to keep up with me. ¡°I never do anything stupid.¡± ¡°Okay, don¡¯t do anything overly emotional then.¡± ¡°I never do that either.¡± ¡°Yeah, okay. If you say so.¡± I looked at him as we walked. ¡°Are you saying I¡¯m a big whiney baby or something?¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m just saying you¡¯re a girl, and girls get emotional when it comes to their boyfriends, and now you have that supermodel having vertical sex with him and no one would blame you if you eye-gouged her. That¡¯s it. That¡¯s all I¡¯m saying.¡± I took his hand in mine and squeezed. ¡°Thank you for that ¡­ whatever it was.¡± ¡°It was a pep talk, and you¡¯re welcome.¡± I would have kept right on walking until I was between Bodo and Kirsten, but Peter stopped all of a sudden and jerked my hand so hard I almost fell onto my butt. ¡°What?!¡± I yelled, preparing for another lecture. But Peter wasn¡¯t looking at me. He was staring at the gate. ¡°Oh my good lord in heaven and baby Jesus in a manger. Do my eyes fail me or has the most beautiful man ever created just arrived at my door?¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°If you¡¯re talking about Paci, then yes, he¡¯s there.¡± Peter whipped his head to stare at me. ¡°Paci? Oh, ho, ho ¡­ how interesting that you¡¯d choose that person over aaaaall the other ones available.¡± He wiggled his eyebrows at me. ¡°Mmmm-mmm-mmm ¡­ the plot thickens.¡± My face flamed red. ¡°Shut up. I was only joking. I knew you were talking about Trip.¡± I pulled my hand away. ¡°And I¡¯ll have you know ¡­¡± My next planned attempt at throwing suspicion off myself was interrupted by the frenzied barking of Buster at the door to the prison. Someone had let the little pink beast out, and he was streaking across the open space to the gate. ¡°Oh shit. What¡¯s he doing?¡± I asked. We had a few dogs with us, not to mention all those other animals. I hoped he wasn¡¯t about to get eaten or trampled. I got my answer when he launched himself into Trip¡¯s arms, lick-attacking him so enthusiastically he was practically crawling up the guy¡¯s chest vertically to get to his mouth. ¡°Gah! Buster! Down, you mangey mutt!¡± Trip shouted. He didn¡¯t sound angry at all. Peter put his fingers to his mouth, his eyes getting all shiny. ¡°Oh my god, would you look? Is that not the sweetest thing you¡¯ve ever seen in your entire life?¡± His voice had gone up into the high soprano ranges. ¡°Uh, no. It¡¯s not. It¡¯s pretty gross, actually. I hope you don¡¯t plan on kissing his doggy drool mouth. And the whole thing is offensive too, now that I think about it. I got nothing from that naked poodle, did you see that? Not even a hello. How come Trip gets all the poodle love? When did I fall so low in the ranks around here?¡± Peter arched an eyebrow at me. ¡°Oh, you want some poodle love? We can take care of that.¡± Before I could stop him he started clapping and calling out, ¡°Oh, Busterrrr! Someone over here wants to say hello!¡± Buster heard his name and turned. As soon as he spotted me he launched himself with a sharp bark out of Trip¡¯s arms and came streaking across the grass towards me. ¡°Thanks a lot, butthead,¡± I said, crossing my hands in front of me, trying to block the inevitable tongue bath. Peter bent down with me when Buster arrived, and we let him dance and bark and whine between us. ¡°Yes, okay, Buster. I¡¯m happy to see you too. Yes, yes, yes, you¡¯re a happy guy. A happy naked poodle who stinks like rotten snails. Yes, yes, I¡¯m happy to see you too. Jesus, lay off the licking would you? You¡¯re going to run out of saliva and dry up like an ugly little raisin.¡± He was panting so hard I was afraid he¡¯d have a heart attack. He started choking and gagging, but struggled to keep licking me anyway. I picked him up and walked him back to the front door out of sheer pity. Poor little guy was going to love me until it killed him. Buster left no doubt in my mind; no one does a welcome home party like a poodle does. As I approached, Kirsten and Bodo split apart. She looked very happy to see him, but his posture and expression told me he felt a little uncomfortable. That seemed more like the appropriate response for a guy who¡¯d been kidnapped, drugged, and nearly raped, so I was happy to see it. I stopped next to him, letting Buster down before addressing Kirsten. ¡°Kirsten. Nice to see you again.¡± I held out my hand. She ignored it and pulled me into a hug. My sore arm stayed awkwardly at my side, but I patted her back with my other hand. ¡°Whoa. Enthusiasm. I like it. I think.¡± She pulled away. ¡°I¡¯m glad to see you survived your trip.¡± ¡°Thanks for coming to Haven¡¯s rescue. I heard about the EWS. How¡¯s the baby?¡± ¡°The baby¡¯s great, thanks. And good, I¡¯m glad you heard about the system, because I¡¯ve come bearing gifts. Have you picked your code reader yet? My sister sends her regards by the way and says thanks again for the trade.¡± Kirsten looked over at Bodo and the expression on her face made me sick to my stomach. There was regret there or my nickname wasn¡¯t ball-biter. What the hell? I ignored my irrational desire to punch her in the head. There was no need to get the Amazon nation all up in my grill over a stupid boy, but now I really wanted to have a private conversation with her to pick her brain a little about Bodo¡¯s stay at chez Amazon. Something wasn¡¯t squaring right for me. Bodo¡¯s penchant for secrets combined with her overly affectionate reunion made my ass hairs stand up. I snapped out of my jealous haze and answered her. ¡°No, we haven¡¯t picked a code reader yet, but we will. We¡¯re totally in with the birds. Seriously, it¡¯s like the best news I¡¯ve had in a year or more.¡± ¡°Kirsten wouldn¡¯t tell us anything until you got here,¡± said Peter. He didn¡¯t sound all that happy about being kept in the dark. ¡°Bryn is your leader. I talk with the leader, not the city manager or whatever you¡¯re calling yourself,¡± said Kirsten. She was all business now, and much more like the girl I was used to dealing with. Maybe I¡¯d imagined those stupid looks I saw her making in Bodo¡¯s direction. ¡°Excuse me ¡­ I¡¯ll have you know that the city manager position at Haven is critical.¡± Peter was definitely in a huff. ¡°Yes, we know, love buns,¡± I said, patting his shoulder and squeezing it once before letting him go. ¡°Will you go see to the animals with Trip? I don¡¯t want them settling in by Bodo¡¯s future garden.¡± ¡°Fine. But I¡¯ll be back.¡± He left with his nose in the air. ¡°Anyone up for some lunch?¡± asked Gretchen, giving me a pat on the arm as she walked by. ¡°We have a feast ready for you.¡± ¡°Or not,¡± said Bianca, coming over as I walked through the doors to give me a hug. ¡°Welcome home, Bryn. We were all really worried about you guys.¡± She looked at the others. ¡°The food¡¯s not great, but it¡¯ll keep you alive.¡± I smiled at her as she stepped back. ¡°Thanks. We¡¯re glad to be back, believe me.¡± I looked around. ¡°How¡¯s Fohi doing?¡± ¡°He¡¯s good. Better today. He wants to see you, I¡¯m sure. He¡¯s been worrying about all of you non-stop. And we had a hell of time getting him to just lie down and not get his injuries worse. He¡¯s fixated on making traps of some sort.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Rob and I will handle him,¡± I said. She winked at me and left me to greet the others. Everyone came in from the nearby hallways and got up from their spots on the floor to welcome us home. I finally quit after thirty or so hugs and begged to be left to eat. I wasn¡¯t that hungry, but there was so much to do, I needed to sit down with my main group of friends and figure out what the heck we should do first to get everyone and everything settled. I grabbed a plate of lame food, most of it army rations that were stale, and headed to the alcove where I knew Fohi was resting with Yokci and the others. After everyone was settled in with food I started the conversation. Bodo hadn¡¯t made it in yet, but I hoped he¡¯d show up eventually. He always had good input, and I trusted him to think of things I¡¯d forget. ¡°Now that we¡¯re back here and somewhat ready to get things rolling, I wanted to get your thoughts on what our first steps should be.¡± Peter was sitting next to me. He pulled a pile of papers from a clipboard he¡¯d put behind him and shuffled through them until he found what he wanted. ¡°I¡¯m so glad you asked. I have input from everyone that was here while you were gone on several issues.¡± Bodo walked in and took a seat, giving me a brief smile. It was missing any warmth but not for lack of trying. It was either my paranoia or reality that made it seem fake. I nodded at Peter. ¡°Good. Go for it. Tell us what you know.¡± Peter smiled briefly before getting all serious again. He had his City Manager hat on now. ¡°First, food. Bodo¡¯s garden is planned. We¡¯re just putting the finishing touches on the irrigation part of things, but we have a whole crew of people ready to follow his instructions and we have several gardening books in our library to help educate us.¡± Bodo nodded. ¡°I will start tomorrow. Tell dose people on da crew to come see me later.¡± ¡°Gotcha.¡± Peter made a note on another paper. ¡°We also have the cattle to take care of. I assume the kids who came with Trip will manage them in the beginning, and I have about five kids who¡¯ve volunteered to learn and help.¡± Derek raised his hand for a moment. ¡°I¡¯m on that list.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said, smiling in appreciation. ¡°We have water crews who work on gathering water every day,¡± said Peter. ¡°They already have a routine and are working on some different projects to make it more convenient to use for both consumption and showering.¡± ¡°What about soap?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m hoping some of the kids who came from the ranch will be able to help us with that.¡± ¡°Not a problem,¡± said Winky, ¡°especially if they have lye in this place. We can make even better stuff than we had before. ¡°I believe we do have that chemical,¡± said Peter, looking through his papers again. When he found the one that must have his chemical inventory on it he paused to circle something before putting the paper back in the stack. ¡°It¡¯s actually pretty amazing how much we do have right now. But it won¡¯t last forever, so we need to figure out how to replace it on a permanent basis.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll help with that,¡± said Winky. ¡°And the weaving. That¡¯s my thing.¡± ¡°Good,¡± said Peter, scratching out another note. ¡°I¡¯ll get to weaving in a minute. Just to finish up food ¡­ we also need a hunting group that will be willing to leave the compound and find game out in the trees and swampy areas. It¡¯s going to be several seasons before we¡¯re able to support ourselves with our livestock.¡± Trip came into the circle at that moment and said nothing. He took a spot next to Peter and stared out at the other kids. It wasn¡¯t exactly a challenge, but it didn¡¯t need to be. Page 34 Peter¡¯s face turned pink and he tried not to smile but failed miserably. ¡°As I was saying ¡­ a-hem ¡­ we need hunters.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a hunter,¡± said Trip. He looked sideways at Peter and waited until Peter looked over. Then he looked away. Peter fanned himself with his clipboard for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing and stopped. He picked up his pen and fumbled it so badly it fell at my feet. I picked it up and handed it to him so he could write his very important note down. ¡°Okaaay, Trip ¡­ is a hunterrrr,¡± Peter said while writing. This note took him extra long to finish and included a lot of extra swirls and underlines. A lot of kids around the circle were smiling. Peter looked up, all prim and proper again. ¡°Anyone else?¡± Fohi spoke up. ¡°I¡¯m good at killing stuff. Gators, snakes, whatever. Put me down.¡± Trip hissed some air out. ¡°Not sure I want Fohi with a loaded gun at my back.¡± Several kids giggled. ¡°Geez, Trip! Not you too, man! Come on! You know I¡¯ve got the goods. You know I¡¯m the man when it comes to ammo.¡± Fohi was struggling to sit up. ¡°I know you¡¯re the man when it comes to people getting accidentally stabbed and blown up.¡± Tip stared at him blandly. ¡°Oh man, that hurts, you know? You guys are always giving me shit. I¡¯m the demolitions expert, which you already know. And I¡¯m the head of the armory, so if you want any damn guns or bullets, you have to ask me. I¡¯ve got the key. Not you. Me.¡± Trip looked at Peter. ¡°Put Fohi on the list. Give him a tennis racket to hunt with. He couldn¡¯t possibly hurt anyone with a tennis racket.¡± Rob was snorting now. Fohi just laid back on the ground, mumbling about getting no respect. Peter bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from laughing. ¡°Okay, Fohi is on the hunting list too. Anyone else?¡± Rob raised his hand. ¡°Better put me on there.¡± Fohi turned his head sideways to face his friend. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean? You aren¡¯t my damn babysitter, Rob.¡± Rob reached over without looking, clamping his hand over Fohi¡¯s mouth. ¡°Shush your buzzing, Little Bee. The grownups are talking right now.¡± Fohi struggled hard and got a few punches in on Rob¡¯s arm and back before Rob put some distance between them by scooting over. ¡°Okay,¡± said Peter, ¡°enough playing around. Now we can talk about the weaving.¡± ¡°I¡¯m on the list,¡± said Winky. ¡°And I¡¯m taking anyone who came from the ranch who knows how to weave with me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m already with you on that,¡± said Peter. ¡°Consider it done. And now food. We need cooks.¡± ¡°Seems like Gretchen and Bianca are on that,¡± said Fohi. ¡°They¡¯re pretty decent.¡± ¡°Yes, but we need people who can prepare food like the Miccosukee and Creek. They¡¯re the best,¡± said Peter. Trip smiled briefly without showing any teeth, but went back to being serious in less than a second. He didn¡¯t look at Peter, but he was listening carefully. My hopes for the two of them were soaring. ¡°I agree,¡± I said. ¡°Best food ever. I hope we can make bread here.¡± ¡°We brought sacks of flour, but it won¡¯t last long with this big group,¡± said Paci. ¡°You need to get fields planted.¡± ¡°Oh, man. You mean like farming?¡± I asked. ¡°What? You thought we bought our stuff at Costco?¡± asked Paci, not unkindly. Everyone had a good laugh at that. ¡°No. I just ¡­ geez-oh-petes. This is going to take so much work.¡± For a moment, the immense amount of the work weighed on my shoulders like a giant boulder of responsibility. How are we going to get all this done? ¡°Geez-oh-petes?¡± asked Peter. I pushed into him with my shoulder. ¡°Carry on, oh City Manager on high.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t have all the equipment we need to farm,¡± said Peter, staring in consternation at one of his papers. ¡°The Miccosukee will trade for whatever you need. Or they¡¯ll just give it on good faith,¡± said Trip. ¡°We¡¯re together in this.¡± The boulder on my shoulder felt just slightly lighter. Not a lot, but even a little made a difference. ¡°We¡¯ll get this done,¡± said Peter directly to me. ¡°My timeline says it¡¯ll be five full years before we¡¯re completely up and running, but we won¡¯t be starving or suffering before then. We¡¯ll just be roughing it for a while. But I promise ¡­ Haven will be a true haven when we¡¯re done.¡± I reached over and hugged him to me, not caring that tears were burning my eyes again. ¡°Thank you, Peter. You¡¯ve done so much for us.¡± He patted me on the back. ¡°No tears. I¡¯m not done being awesome yet.¡± I sat back up and wiped my eyes. ¡°You¡¯ll never be done being that, dummy. Go ahead with your bad self.¡± ¡°Okay, so as I was saying ¡­ food. We have a couple cooks here already, but we¡¯d appreciate some Native Americans to join our group to spice up the offerings a little.¡± ¡°Or a lot,¡± said Gretchen. ¡°I¡¯m not proud. I know we can¡¯t do much with what we know, but we can learn.¡± ¡°Count me in,¡± said Bianca. ¡°I¡¯m good at chopping vegetables,¡± said Ronald. ¡°And I¡¯m good at barbecuing,¡± said Jamal. An awkward silence fell over the group. Jamal¡¯s expression went from excited to sickened. ¡°Uhhh ¡­ Animals. Beef. Chicken. I¡¯m good at barbecuing those things only.¡± I had to smile, even though it was kind of morbid. ¡°Good to know, Jamal.¡± He nodded at me. ¡°You have some building that needs to be done,¡± said Paci. ¡°Coop for the chicken, pens for the sheep¡­¡± ¡°I may need some guidance on that, but we have a couple kids here with farming experience. I think they could adapt to ranching quickly. And of course we have you guys now, too.¡± Peter was battling to not look at Trip, but lost the battle at exactly the same moment Trip looked over at him. For a full two seconds, they stared at each other. No one said a word or made a sound. And then Peter looked away. ¡°We have clothing for everyone here. It¡¯s prisoner stuff mostly, some guard uniforms. Lots and lots of slippers.¡± Several kids laughed when he paused. ¡°And hair nets.¡± Peter grinned widely. ¡°If anyone feels like they want to walk around with a hair net, let me know. I have gobs of them.¡± ¡°Maybe we can use them for something else,¡± I said, nudging him. ¡°Let¡¯s have a contest. Whoever comes up with the best use is the winner.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the winner get?¡± asked Rob, sitting up straighter. ¡°First spot in the dinner line for a month,¡± I said. Rob rubbed his hands together. ¡°Sweet. I¡¯m all over that. Hair nets.¡± His eyes went to the ceiling as he considered the challenge. Fohi snorted. ¡°Don¡¯t bother, Rob. No one wants to see you running around in a hair-net jock strap.¡± Rob looked at him like he was nuts. ¡°Don¡¯t act like that¡¯s not what you were thinking - hair net jock straps.¡± Rob just shook his head, refusing to respond verbally, but he did reach out and thump Fohi on the head hard enough that I heard it from across the room. ¡°Shit, man! What¡¯d you do that for? I¡¯m just trying to stop you from embarrassing yourself.¡± Peter stood. ¡°I think that¡¯s good for now. Besides, I believe Kirsten wants to have a meeting with Bryn.¡± I stood and took my plate with me. ¡°You coming to this meeting?¡± I asked Peter. ¡°Of course. Wouldn¡¯t miss it.¡± He was talking to me, but his eyes were following Trip as he walked out. Maybe I was just being hopeful on Peter¡¯s behalf, but it sure looked like Trip was standing a little extra tall and a little extra proud, as if he had someone to impress. ¡°Come on, then,¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s go meet with the Amazonian scientist. Maybe we can convince her to make us some antibiotics before she leaves.¡± ¡°Can she do that?¡± asked Peter, suddenly very interested in our guest. ¡°I think so. She¡¯s like a crazy evil science genius. She sure knew how to dope the hell out of Bodo with some mad mix she came up with.¡± Peter scribbled something on one of his lists. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to her.¡± I walked over to where Kirsten was sitting with some of her group. ¡°Ready to discuss the birds and some other things?¡± I asked. ¡°Sure. Is Bodo going to join us?¡± She stood and helped her friend up. I felt sick at the question. ¡°If you want.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Sure. If he wants to.¡± It was the first time I saw her acting not one hundred percent sure of herself. I smiled, but the gesture didn¡¯t reach my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m just going to go find him. I¡¯ll be back in a few.¡± I couldn¡¯t wait anymore. I had to know what in the hell was going on with those two or I was going to blow and it wasn¡¯t going to be pretty. I walked outside, headed to the garden area where I was pretty certain I¡¯d find my wayward boyfriend. I found Bodo staring at the future home of the promised tomatoes. He was so deep in thought he didn¡¯t even know I was there until I spoke. ¡°Hello.¡± He jumped a little and turned. His face immediately flamed up, and he looked at the ground. ¡°Hello, Bryn. I didn¡¯t see you dare.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sneaky like that. Ninja style. What are you doing out here?¡± ¡°Checking da layout of da garden from what Peter told me. I think it will work.¡± ¡°Good. And you¡¯ll still be here to get it all done?¡± He looked up at me sharply. ¡°What does dat mean? Of course I will be here. Where else can I be?¡± I shrugged and put my hands in the back pockets of my shorts. ¡°You could be here. You could be with the Amazons. You could be anywhere you want to be.¡± I studied his face for a reaction, but he was too hard to read. His voice was lower now. ¡°Why do you say da Amazons? Do you wish you left me dare?¡± ¡°No. Not at all. But I think if you ever had to leave here, that¡¯s where you¡¯d go.¡± I almost couldn¡¯t get the words out; they were practically choking me. But I had to have this conversation with him. Things couldn¡¯t be left unsaid anymore. It was too stressful and unfair to everyone. ¡°Maybe dat¡¯s true.¡± He looked off in the distance. ¡°I wonder why that is, though, you know?¡± I was hoping he¡¯d do the right thing and just tell me what there was to tell. I didn¡¯t like digging. It made me feel needy and distrustful. ¡°It could be anything,¡± he said, still not looking at me. I touched his arm. ¡°But it¡¯s not just anything, is it?¡± He finally looked at me. There were tears in his bloodshot eyes. ¡°Dare is something I want to tell you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m ready to hear it, I think.¡± That was pretty much a lie, but I couldn¡¯t live with not hearing it, so this was what I was left with. Tell me what I don¡¯t want to hear. ¡°When I was with da Amazon girls. When I was with Kirsten ¡­¡± Just the sound of her name felt like a stab to the heart. ¡°¡­ something happened. Something dat I didn¡¯t mean and dat it wasn¡¯t really me.¡± I sensed an excuse coming on and it made my temper kick in. ¡°You know dat dey used drugs in dare.¡± ¡°I know that they sometimes use drugs in there. But not all the time.¡± He dropped his gaze to the ground. ¡°Yes, dat is true. Dare was not always da drugs.¡± Page 35 ¡°So, what did you do, Bodo? Did you sleep with her? With Kirsten?¡± Please say no! ¡°No, of course I didt not sleep with her!¡± Bodo was looking me in the eyes now, grabbing my hands. ¡°I didt not do dat! I promise you.¡± I pulled my hands away. ¡°But you did something. What was it?¡± He tried to reach for me again, but I stepped back. His hands fell to his sides. ¡°Okay, I will tell you. But it is important dat you remember dat I was a prisoner.¡± ¡°How could I forget?¡± I asked, getting angrier by the second. ¡°Dare was one time. Or a couple times maybe, dat Kirsten came to talk to me. And I wass feeling very sad about you and about losing my home and Nina and all da things ¡­ all da things dat I hadt once and now I don¡¯t have. And when we talked, it wass like we were da same person. We made a connection, like for friends.¡± I raised an eyebrow. ¡°Friends?¡± ¡°Yes. Friends.¡± I sighed heavily, now on the verge of crying and screaming both. ¡°Bodo, please don¡¯t try and bullshit me into believing that all you did was have a conversation with Kirsten, okay? I¡¯m not that naive. I may not be the most experienced girl in the world when it comes to guys, but I know guilt when I see it. You did something with her - maybe it wasn¡¯t sex, but it was something. Just tell me and get it over with.¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t want to lose you.¡± Tears fell from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. The same happened for me. But I hardened my heart to his beautiful face and trembling smile. Truth needed to happen here. Without the truth we could never move forward. ¡°You won¡¯t lose me. Not as a friend or a family member. We¡¯ll always be that so long as you want to be.¡± ¡°But I want more dan dat.¡± ¡°Then be honest with me.¡± ¡°Okay. I will do it. I will tell you. I kissed her, okay? I did dat. Two times. Maybe three times. But dat¡¯s all.¡± He stepped forward, intending to take my hands again, but I moved once more. My gut was twisting and burning. I wanted to vomit. Anger turned my neck and cheeks bright red. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you.¡± I was speaking through gritted teeth, trying to keep the rage controlled. ¡°I was a prisoner! You can¡¯t blame me! Dare was drugs!¡± ¡°But you gave me so much shit for kissing Paci, and I only did it once and I thought you were dead! You knew I was alive! You knew I was waiting for you!¡± ¡°You could be dead too! You were in da fight too!¡± I shook my head at him. ¡°I think you¡¯re lying about the drugs. And you¡¯re lying about how many times you kissed her, too. Who knows ¡­ maybe you¡¯re lying about sleeping with her!¡± Bodo lunged for me, getting near enough that he could grab my hands in an iron grip and pull me close to him. ¡°No! I did not sleep with her. I swear on my life, I did not do dat!¡± My blood ran ice cold. I yanked my hands from his grip. ¡°No denial of anything else, though, I see.¡± I turned to leave. ¡°Where are you goingk? We need to talk. I want you to forgive me.¡± I had taken about ten steps, but I stopped in my tracks and turned around. I was rapidly losing my cool. ¡°I¡¯m going inside, Bodo. I¡¯m going to be with all the people who are counting on me to keep my shit together and make their world a happy, safe place. I¡¯m going to pretend you didn¡¯t just stab me through the heart with a knife. And I¡¯m going to pretend for a just a little while longer that you haven¡¯t been crucifying me for a single kiss when all signs said you were dead, while all along you were guilty of worse. But very soon, I¡¯m going to stop pretending. And hopefully by then I¡¯ll be in the right frame of mind to decide what to do about us.¡± ¡°Maybe you don¡¯t have all dat time.¡± He was being arrogant now. ¡°Maybe you haff to decide soon or I will make dat decision.¡± ¡°Do what you have to do, Bodo. I¡¯m done here.¡± I walked away, quickly putting distance between us so I wouldn¡¯t be tempted to go incapacitate him. He so deserved an eye-gouging right now. Or a palm thrust to the adam¡¯s apple. Friggin hypocrite! How dare he come down on me for kissing Paci when he did so much worse! I¡¯ll bet he messed with her the entire time he was there. And then a more disturbing thought came to mind. Maybe he really didn¡¯t even try to escape. I ran to the latrine and made it there just in time to throw up in the hole in the ground. Peter found me outside as I was stepping out of the smelly latrine enclosure. ¡°Here you are. I¡¯ve been looking all over for you. The Amazons are anxious to be on their way. They have something to discuss with you first, though.¡± ¡°Yes, I know. I¡¯m coming.¡± My voice was hoarse from the heaving and the tears I¡¯d been crying. I knew my face looked like hell. ¡°Oh, sweetie, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Peter had finally noticed my eyes. ¡°You¡¯ve been crying.¡± He reached up to wipe my cheeks. ¡°And barfing, so don¡¯t get too close.¡± He jerked his hand away and reached into his pocket, taking out a cloth. He used that to wipe my cheeks instead, giving me a weak smile. ¡°Better?¡± I nodded. ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°What happened. Was it Bodo?¡± ¡°Yes. Bodo.¡± Even saying his name hurt. ¡°What did he do? Was it bad? I know you two are having troubles.¡± ¡°It¡¯s worse than bad.¡± My voice broke. ¡°I can¡¯t talk about it now, though. Later. I have to meet with Kirsten before she leaves and takes her stuff with her.¡± ¡°Want me in on that meeting?¡± He took my hand and walked with me towards the building. ¡°Yes. That would be great if you could spare the time.¡± ¡°Always have time to spare for you, ball-biter, you know that.¡± ¡°If you call me that again, I¡¯m going to have to bite your balls.¡± ¡°Okay, Bryn. I will not be calling you that name ever again, I promise. Bryn. Bryn it is. Miz Mathis. Queen Bryn.¡± ¡°I¡¯m serious, Peter. I don¡¯t have it in me to fight fair right now.¡± He leaned towards me and kissed my cheek. ¡°This is a bad day, but it will get better. All you need is a little Buster and Fuzzybeans cuddle therapy and you¡¯ll be as right as rain in the morning.¡± ¡°I wish it were that simple.¡± ¡°It is, trust me. You have friends and family who love you and a whole new world to plan and execute. You are going to be too busy to have a broken heart.¡± I put my arm around his tiny waist. ¡°That sounds good to me. Come on. Let¡¯s go see if we can negotiate for some drugs.¡± ¡°Oh, we¡¯re going to do drugs now too? I¡¯d better add that to my list.¡± ¡°Go ahead. It¡¯s probably the only thing not on there right now.¡± Peter pinched my butt but didn¡¯t break his stride. Kirsten was coming out of the door as we arrived at the front of the building. ¡°There you are. I was starting to think you¡¯d run away. Did you find Bodo?¡± ¡°Yes, I did, and he was full of information for me.¡± I tried not to, but I knew I sounded bitter. I took a deep breath and started over. ¡°We¡¯ll begin the meeting without him. Where do you want to talk?¡± She shrugged. ¡°Right here is fine. I¡¯m getting ready to leave. One of my girls is getting your gift.¡± ¡°I like presents.¡± I tried to smile, but it probably came out like a grimace. All I could think about was how pretty Kirsten is and tall - like a friggin¡¯ Barbie Doll. No wonder Bodo fell for her. And she¡¯s uber smart and powerful, too. Add the fact that she has a whole tribe of sexy women doing whatever she tells them to do, and I came up very, very short in comparison. When I thought of it like that, I realized it was kind of stupid for me to think that Bodo wouldn¡¯t have fallen under her charms. He is a man after all. I couldn¡¯t imagine many resisting. Except maybe Paci. I laughed bitterly to myself. Maybe I should test all future boyfriends by sending them to the Amazon¡¯s lair for a week. ¡°Good, I¡¯m glad you like gifts. Who doesn¡¯t, right? So anyway, you know about the EWS and you want to be a contact point. That¡¯s great because we want you to be one too. All we need is you guys and another in the Keys and we¡¯ll be all set for a good portion of the state.¡± ¡°It¡¯s really that extensive?¡± asked Peter. ¡°Yes. And it¡¯s going to get better, too. I just need to know who your code reader is going to be.¡± Bodo chose to walk up at just that moment. ¡°I¡¯ll be da one.¡± I clenched my teeth for three full seconds before I could trust myself to speak. ¡°No, it won¡¯t be Bodo. I¡¯ll get someone else for you.¡± I took Peter by the shoulder and turned him with me so that we could talk in private. ¡°Who can we trust to communicate with the outside world? Someone with a good memory and not a target for the canners.¡± ¡°Everyone¡¯s a target for them.¡± ¡°Not everyone. Find me someone skinny and invisible.¡± ¡°Like me.¡± His voice had gone extra soft. ¡°Yes, but not you. You already have too much going on.¡± ¡°What about Jenny? She¡¯s skinny, smart, and kind of like a ghost sometimes. And she¡¯s healthy enough now. I think she needs something to do.¡± ¡°Go ask her.¡± Peter took off without another word. When I turned around, I faced an angry Bodo. ¡°Why not me?¡± he asked, his face red. ¡°I need someone I can trust for this job. Someone who doesn¡¯t hide things. You don¡¯t qualify.¡± His nostrils flared. ¡°Dat¡¯s not fair.¡± ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t?¡± My voice was sweet, but my intentions were not. I turned to Kirsten. ¡°Kirsten, Bodo had some interesting things to say to me about his stay at your place. But I was wondering if you could fill in some of the blanks for me.¡± She looked from Bodo to me and then back again. When she finally settled her gaze on me once more, she stood straighter and her chin went up. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you whatever you want to know.¡± ¡°Did you sleep with Bodo?¡± ¡°I told you we didt not have sex!¡± Bodo shouted. ¡°No, he¡¯s telling the truth. We didn¡¯t go that far.¡± Her choice of wording nearly stopped my heart. ¡°How far did you go?¡± I almost couldn¡¯t get the sentence out. My throat had nearly closed up. The door to the front of the prison opened up and Ronald stuck his head out. ¡°We all okay out here?¡± I waved him away. ¡°We¡¯re fine, thanks!¡± I couldn¡¯t smile, though. That would have been impossible at this point. My heart was too busy breaking into a bunch of pieces because we were definitely not fine out here. Not fine at all. ¡°We had several intimate moments that included kissing and fondling.¡± ¡°Fondling?¡± I coughed a couple times to get the word out of my mouth. ¡°Bodo?¡± I just looked at him. ¡°Drugs.¡± He said it fiercely, but he was looking at the ground. ¡°No, there were no drugs involved,¡± said Kirsten, sighing sadly. ¡°I know he wishes that were the case, so that he could deny culpability, but the truth is that he came to me willingly.¡± I just stared at Bodo, trying to resolve in my mind how the boy I loved and trusted could have pulled the wool so fully over my eyes. I had to be the biggest idiot left on the planet. His voice was anguished. ¡°It¡¯s not like dat, Bryn. It¡¯s not! You haff to listen to me. She is being tricking right now. She is not telling you da whole story!¡± Something in me clicked, and I went from desperately sad to deadly calm. This would be the end of my one and only love affair. I was so glad I hadn¡¯t gone all the way with him. He so didn¡¯t deserve to have that part of me. Page 36 ¡°So tell me the whole story, then. Here I am. Listening for the last time.¡± ¡°I was captured. And tied up. And dey all came to me naked and trying to get me excited, but I told dem no. I told dem no! And den Kirsten came and talked to me. And she talked and talked and talked. And she toldt me she wouldt help me find Nina. And she wass very nice to me. And when I cried, she put her arms around me and put her body on me. Dat was not my fault! She did dat!¡± He pointed at her accusingly. Kirsten backed away from him a couple steps. It was a wise move since he seemed to be losing it a little. I decided that I¡¯d heard enough. I held up my hands to calm him down. ¡°Fine. I¡¯ve heard what you have to say. Now I need to finish this meeting with Kirsten so she can leave. Are you planning on staying here at Haven?¡± His mouth dropped open. For a few long seconds he just stared at me. ¡°Are you serious?¡± he finally asked. ¡°Yes. I assume you¡¯re welcome at Kirsten¡¯s place if you prefer to go there.¡± ¡°Bodo is always welcome.¡± Kirsten¡¯s tone said nothing about her personal feelings on the matter, but her eyes were a different story. She clearly wanted him to come. ¡°I am not going dare. I want to be here. I want to be with you,¡± he said, crying again. He angrily swiped the tears from his face. ¡°You can go where you want. But for right now, I¡¯d like this meeting to be just with Kirsten and me, so if you¡¯re staying, please just ¡­ find somewhere else to be.¡± ¡°But ¡­¡± ¡°I think you¡¯d better go, Bodo.¡± Peter had walked up just in time to hear the last of what we¡¯d said. ¡°I¡¯ll come find you to talk about the garden in a minute.¡± Bodo spun around and stormed off, making no secret of the fact that he was furious. He tried to slam the front door, but the piston in the door didn¡¯t allow it. We all watched as he disappeared into one of the hallways to the right of the reception desk. I looked back at Kirsten, determined to finish our business together and not bring Bodo into the conversation. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she said. ¡°Never mind that.¡± I looked at Peter. ¡°What did Jenny say?¡± ¡°She¡¯s totally into it. She¡¯s already talking to your code reader,¡± he said to Kirsten. ¡°I hope that¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine. And now for the gift.¡± She walked over to her stack of belongings. One of her people had set something down in the pile while we were talking. Kirsten pulled out a box with holes in it and a small sack. ¡°Here¡¯s your bird,¡± she said, walking back to us. ¡°You need to build him a coop or cage thingy and put some nesting materials inside. I also have this bag of food.¡± She put the sack in my hand. ¡°You¡¯re the bird¡¯s food stop. He¡¯ll come here to eat and then back to my place to sleep. Make sure you always keep his coop full of food.¡± ¡°Where do I get more of it?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll bring you some. But eventually you¡¯ll have to harvest your own.¡± ¡°What do they eat?¡± ¡°Corn, seeds, nuts, fruit, insects ¡­ you can find a lot of it in the wild. The Native Americans will help you identify it.¡± She put the box down on the ground at our feet and opened it very carefully, putting her hand inside. When she pulled it out, there was a gray bird wrapped inside her fingers, its wings folded up tightly to its sides. She stood and held it up for us to see. ¡°Here is the leg band.¡± She took the bird¡¯s leg in her hand and stretched it out for us to look at. The ring was plastic and bright red. ¡°The message goes on a piece of paper folded up inside here. Use the code. Don¡¯t send anything in plain English. Jenny will learn it and the abbreviations we¡¯ve come up with. We¡¯ll show her some bird handling techniques in just a few minutes. Chances are this bird will need a few trial runs before he gets it just right. So expect to see one of us around for the next week or so.¡± I nodded. ¡°This is very generous of you.¡± ¡°Nonsense. This is all about survival. The more of us there are, the safer we¡¯ll all be from the monsters. Your job will be to train the people south of here when the time comes. We haven¡¯t identified anyone we can trust there yet.¡± ¡°Maybe someone from here will move there,¡± I suggested She shrugged. ¡°Maybe. You have a lot of work to do before that happens. We¡¯ll be around.¡± I gave her a weak smile. ¡°Populating the earth with women warriors.¡± ¡°Bet your sweet ass we will.¡± She put the bird back in the box and stood again, placing her hand on my shoulder. ¡°About Bodo. I know you don¡¯t want to talk about him anymore, but I¡¯m going to just say this. I want him, if you don¡¯t. I¡¯m not ashamed to say that. He¡¯ll breed strong children, and he¡¯s practically a child himself, so he¡¯s fun to have around. But his heart is with you. It was just parts of his body I possessed for a short period of time.¡± ¡°That really doesn¡¯t make me feel any better.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t really care either way if it does, to be honest. I¡¯m just telling you how it is, so that if Bodo comes to me in the end, it will be because everyone knew the truth of things.¡± ¡°But don¡¯t you know that you could never trust him if he did come to you? You¡¯ve already seen that he lies.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need to trust a man to have him by my side. I think it¡¯s unreasonable for you to have expected him to remain true to you when he was with a group of women like us.¡± ¡°Well ¡­ that¡¯s kind of insulting. Really insulting, actually.¡± ¡°No insult to you. Not at all. It¡¯s an insult to men in general. Cold hard scientific facts here that you can¡¯t dispute. They think about sex a thousand times a day. It¡¯s a drive they almost can¡¯t control. It doesn¡¯t take much to tip the balance in favor of indulging.¡± ¡°But he never had sex with you, and you wanted him to.¡± She smiled, but there was a certain warmth missing from it. ¡°That¡¯s only because I didn¡¯t have enough time to wear him down. I would have eventually, you know. He loves you ¡­ but he is a man.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t hold them in very high regard, do you?¡± ¡°Why should I? What have they done to deserve it?¡± ¡°There are some good men out there. They¡¯re not all like you¡¯re describing.¡± ¡°Well, when you meet one, you introduce him to me and we¡¯ll see.¡± The idea made me sick. I¡¯d already accidentally introduced her to my last boyfriend who I thought would be faithful, and now I knew how well that had worked out. She spared me any more thought provoking conversation and walked over and grabbed a backpack from the pile, throwing it up onto her back. ¡°You going to forgive him?¡± ¡°Sure. I forgive anyone pretty much anything if they¡¯re genuinely sorry.¡± ¡°Are you going to take him back, though?¡± She picked up another backpack and blew a really sharp whistle towards the door using just her lips and teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said, mostly to myself. I couldn¡¯t imagine a life without him, and I couldn¡¯t imagine one with him either. It was probably because the Bodo I thought I knew didn¡¯t really exist, and in his place was this stranger. ¡°Well, if you decide to cut him loose, send him my way. We¡¯ll take good care of him.¡± I¡¯ll bet you will, you boyfriend ruining jerk. ¡°Thanks.¡± I was leaving to go back inside when I remembered the other thing I¡¯d wanted to talk to her about. ¡°Oh, I forgot to ask ¡­ do you have any way of making antibiotics?¡± ¡°Yes. We¡¯re stockpiling the ingredients now.¡± ¡°Can we trade you for some?¡± ¡°Sure. What did you have in mind?¡± ¡°Not sure. What do you want?¡± ¡°We could use some clothes.¡± ¡°I have lots of prisoner jumpsuits. And apparently lots of slippers and hairnets.¡± I laughed at that, picturing these gorgeous girls running around like imprisoned cafeteria workers. I¡¯d bet they¡¯d all refuse to wear them. She shrugged. ¡°That¡¯ll work. I¡¯ll send someone for them later. For now, this should do for you.¡± She reached into the bag in her hands and tossed me a small sack similar to the one that the bird feed was in. ¡°It¡¯s a broad spectrum antibiotic. A little rough around the edges but should fight most common infections. Four times a day.¡± I opened it and saw several pills inside. They were in the shape of regular medicine but not exactly uniform. ¡°How did you make these?¡± ¡°Supplies from my old work. If you have anyone in your group interested in chemistry, send them our way. I can get them trained in a couple months on some basics, and you can have your own in-house pharmacy. Nothing fancy, but painkillers, antibiotics and fever reducers for sure.¡± ¡°Wow, that¡¯s amazing. Thank you so much.¡± I gave her my first genuine smile of the afternoon. ¡°I don¡¯t really understand why you¡¯re being so generous, but I appreciate it.¡± She walked over and put her hand on my shoulder. She was so much taller than me I had to look up to see her face. ¡°Good people have to stick together, and most particularly, good women. This world belongs in the hands of those who will nurture and guide. You¡¯re one of those people. I invest in assets that will give me a return. Haven is one of those places. If my place ever burns to the ground, I hope we can find a home with you here, at least until we find another.¡± I reached up and put my hand on her forearm. ¡°Absolutely. Our home is your home.¡± ¡°Cool.¡± She leaned in a kissed me on the cheek. ¡°I¡¯m outta here, chica. Tell the others I said goodbye.¡± Her compatriots came out the front door right on time and joined her at their pile of belongings. Once they were all suited up, they walked to the gate. Ronald came out with the keys. They jingled as he sorted through them to find the one that would do the unlocking. He turned the tumblers and I helped him push the gate open and then closed again. As he locked it back up, I stared at the Amazons through the links. ¡°See you soon,¡± said Kirsten, her back to me. ¡°Yeah. See you soon,¡± I said. Ronald and I stood side-by-side watching them walk away. ¡°Everything go okay?¡± asked Ronald after they were well on their way. I turned to face him, and he stared at my bloodshot eyes, his own filling with concern. ¡°Things with the Amazons went ¡­ well. Very well, I think.¡± ¡°And things with you? How are they going?¡± ¡°I guess that remains to be seen.¡± Ronald put his arm around me as we walked to the door. ¡°God works in mysterious ways, you know. I know things are strained between you and Bodo right now, but don¡¯t count love out of the picture just yet.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not counting love out. I have a lot of it around me. I just don¡¯t know how this story is going to end.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what makes it interesting,¡± he said, opening the door for me. ¡°If we knew the ending, we¡¯d never want to do the middle part. It¡¯s not the destination that matters anyway. It¡¯s the journey.¡± ¡°Sometimes I want to cheat and skip to the end.¡± ¡°No. I don¡¯t think any of us would like that. Just be patient. God has a plan for you, and it¡¯s a good plan. I promise.¡± ¡°Thank you, Ronald. I hope you¡¯ll agree to be our church guy here at Haven. I don¡¯t know who will come to be a part of your gig or your services or whatever, but I¡¯m sure there will be some.¡± ¡°It¡¯s already in the works, don¡¯t you worry about that.¡± He gave me a hug before gesturing for me to go into the building before him. Page 37 We went inside, and I took Peter up on an offer to give me a tour of Haven. He wanted to show me everything they¡¯d done to organize it, and I wanted to get away from all the people who were expecting me to make their lives good again. Two weeks went by with a flurry of activity. Jenny proved herself worthy of the title Code-Reader and she had two new birds in her flock of messengers, given by a happy compatriot over at the Amazon contact point. They were very happy with her progress as were we. Several more Miccosukee and Creek kids had joined us at Haven, bringing more animals and supplies. We added lots of stragglers too, who¡¯d made their way down I-95, sent to us by the Cracker Barrel contact point and the Amazons. Everyone who came was offered a cell to make into an apartment. None of them had windows, but they were worlds better than where most of them had been sleeping, and you couldn¡¯t beat the security system. A pack of dogs, four watchtowers with armed guards, and several explosive-rigged traps ringed our little town. Many signs warned people approaching to follow a very specific protocol before coming to the gate or risk being blown to bits. It was harsh, but effective. We¡¯d had zero accidents and all good additions to our community so far. But while several things were going well for us, there were still some problems we had to deal with on a regular basis, and two of them haunted me night and day: Bodo and the girl I liked to call the Bad Penny. No matter what I said or did to smooth things over with her, she just kept turning up under my nose making me nuts. ¡°Gail, I¡¯ve already said this to you like fifty times.¡± She was standing in front of me and Peter in Peter¡¯s workspace. We were sitting in two of the swivel chairs that ringed a large laminate, oval-shaped table. Peter had claimed an old conference room as his City Manager headquarters, and it was stocked with all the writing materials we could find and a huge cork board and magnetic board. All of his plans were hanging up around the room, and over fifty checklists were in the process of being completed and refined at all times. ¡°I don¡¯t have to listen to that crap from you,¡± she responded, arms folded across her chest. ¡°Uh, yes you do,¡± said Peter, as frustrated with her as I was. ¡°Bryn makes the rules here, and you follow them. Just like everyone else does. You¡¯re not special. You¡¯re not the exception. No one is.¡± ¡°Could-a fooled me,¡± she said in a mocking tone. ¡°I don¡¯t see you coming down on Fohi for getting involved in the weaving.¡± ¡°That¡¯s different.¡± ¡°How so? You said his job was setting traps. But eeevery day I see him in the weaving room, messing around with the looms. That means you do let people do other jobs. I guess that rule only applies to certain friends, though.¡± ¡°You¡¯re comparing apples and oranges again,¡± said Peter, getting ready to launch into his politically correct explanation about how we have to spread out our resources and put the most qualified person in the most appropriate position. Fohi was just there flirting with Winky, but that had nothing to do with this at all. Gail knew this. She was just trying once again to get under our skin. I held my hand up to silence Peter. I was staring at Gail the whole time. ¡°Okay, Gail, here¡¯s the deal. We¡¯ve been understanding of your issues, nice to you ¡­¡± ¡°Issues?¡± ¡°Yes. Issues. We¡¯ve been nice to you, given you food, clothing, shelter, everything you need to survive and thrive here ¡­ and all you¡¯ve done is cause trouble.¡± ¡°That¡¯s bullshit.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not. You harass Jenny non-stop about the birds, you mock Fohi until he punches walls, you say negative remarks about the food to anyone who will listen ¡­ and frankly, none of us is interested in your shit anymore. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop today.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just interested in learning the code stuff too. What if Jenny gets sick? What if something happens to her? You need a second person trained.¡± ¡°That second person will never be you, you can count on that,¡± said Peter. ¡°Listen, gay boy, I don¡¯t need you ¡­¡± I stood up all of a sudden, the chair flying out behind me. ¡°Stop right there!¡± I came from around the table to stand just a couple feet from her. She backed up as far as she could go, until she ran into a shelving unit with files on it. ¡°Stay back. I have a knife!¡± ¡°You¡¯d better not have a knife. You know this is a weapon-free zone.¡± She fumbled in her pocket and pulled it out, holding it up in front of her and pointed at my face. ¡°Stay back, I¡¯m not kidding. I don¡¯t have to stand here and be bullied by you. I have the right to defend myself.¡± The weapon looked like something she¡¯d made out of a piece of metal she¡¯d found and sharpened. ¡°What is that?¡± laughed Peter. ¡°A prison shank?¡± She held it up threateningly at him. ¡°It¡¯s a knife, and it¡¯s sharp, so shut up.¡± I whipped the side of my hand over and made contact with her wrist, sending the metal flying across the table and crashing into the wall. It fell to the floor with a loud clank. ¡°Ow!¡± she shrieked. ¡°What¡¯d you do that for!¡± I sighed. ¡°Gail, I¡¯m putting you under arrest.¡± Her mouth dropped open. Then she frowned. ¡°Under what authority?¡± she scoffed. ¡°Under my authority,¡± I said, grabbing her upper arm and dragging her from the room. She tried to dig her heels in and stop me from bringing her down the hall, but it wasn¡¯t even slowing me down. I was determined to end the nonsense; the insult thrown at Peter was the final straw for me. I needed to take care of her once and for all. This girl was a pure poison and something had to be done with her. We¡¯d put it off for long enough. At this point it really felt like she was putting the people of Haven in danger. She kicked me hard in the back of the thigh, slowing us down and giving me a hell of a bruise. I turned around and smashed her in the collar bone, dropping her to her knees. ¡°Get me a pair of handcuffs,¡± I said to Peter, holding her down on the floor by her hair. She was screaming like a woman possessed and swinging her arms around awkwardly, trying to grab a hold of me. ¡°B-R-B!¡± yelled Peter, running down the hallway in the opposite direction. ¡°I¡¯m going to fucking kill you, you bitch! You¡¯d better run far away because I¡¯m not going to stop until you¡¯re dead!¡± I put my knee in her back while I waited for the restraints to arrive. ¡°Why all the hate, Gail? Why against me? What¡¯d I ever do to you?¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± Her voice was muffled, buried in her upside down shirt somewhere. ¡°You know exactly why. You¡¯re always walking around here like you¡¯re the best thing since television, letting your friends do whatever they want and keeping everyone else penned in like animals. All you are is a slave driver. A zoo keeper. You¡¯re nothing. All it takes is a single bullet to end your bullshit.¡± Her words hurt my feelings, and her threat chilled my blood. She wasn¡¯t like Coli, a raving loon; she was just an unhappy person, jealous maybe, but so full of hate. Before I could do anymore dime-store psychoanalysis on my prisoner, Flick and Derek showed up, both of them carrying restraints and nightsticks. They were our small town police force, the single sheriff and only deputy. ¡°What the hell?¡± asked Flick, reaching down to pull her up. Once she was straight again, Derek put handcuffs on her and looked her over. ¡°You hurt?¡± he asked. ¡°Not unless you count the wrist she practically broke. She¡¯s fucking brutal you know. I guess in our new world being brutal¡¯s allowed. You guys like people who hurt other people.¡± ¡°Give it a rest, Gail,¡± said Flick. ¡°Don¡¯t you ever get tired of being a pain in the ass?¡± ¡°Oh, sorryyyy mister Hollywood. What¡¯s the matter? Bummed because you finally ran out of hair gel?¡± Flick looked at me, the restraint of many practiced hours of keeping the peace on his face. ¡°Where do you want her?¡± ¡°Put her in one of the closer cells. I need to send someone to talk to her.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not interested in listening to the preachers anymore. They can keep their god and all that other shit to themselves.¡± ¡°It won¡¯t be the preachers,¡± I said as she walked away with her jail keepers. ¡°It¡¯ll be the chiefs.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t answer to any indian chief!¡± she yelled over her shoulder. ¡°They¡¯re not indians,¡± I said softly, ¡°they¡¯re Native Americans.¡± I turned away and walked down the hall to the lobby. I had to go find Trip and Paci and ask them what we should do. I found Paci outside with the sheep. He was watching a group of kids get trained on how to sheer them using the manual scissor things they had, courtesy of the Creek tribe. The whole process was turning out to be a mess of wool flying all over the place and kids chasing bleating animals in circles. ¡°Hey,¡± he said as I walked over to stand next to him. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± His smile was warm, even though the constant sad look he had around his eyes over the loss of his brother was still there. It never fully went away. ¡°We have a problem. I¡¯m wondering if you and Trip can come help me.¡± ¡°Supply issue?¡± ¡°No. Gail issue.¡± He pulled away from the fence. ¡°Again? When is that girl going to get a grip on herself?¡± ¡°Pretty much never, I think. She sealed the deal with me today. Threatened to stab me and then put a bullet in me.¡± ¡°Nice. I always said she must have a death wish.¡± ¡°Yeah. I just don¡¯t see how we can keep her here. She¡¯s nothing but trouble.¡± Paci walked with me towards the prison entrance. ¡°She¡¯s always bothering Jenny. She¡¯s come to me a couple times asking for advice on how to convince her to share the codes. I always tell her to just drop it.¡± ¡°Thank you for that,¡± I said, glad Paci was smart enough to know how to handle her without advice from me. ¡°Gail is the last person in this entire place I¡¯d trust with the codes.¡± ¡°Exactly. She makes me really nervous.¡± ¡°We have to decide what to do with her. Like have a trial or something. I need you and Trip there to help me. I can¡¯t do this on my own.¡± ¡°The mark of a true leader ¡­ knowing when to ask for help.¡± ¡°I learned a lot of what I know from my dad but also from your brother.¡± Paci smiled briefly before looking a little sad. ¡°Yeah. My brother taught me everything I know. I didn¡¯t really appreciate that before, but I do now.¡± We rounded the corner to the front of the building and saw Bodo standing at the fence, staring out towards our traps set into the road. ¡°Go ahead inside. I¡¯m going to talk to him,¡± I said. ¡°See you in a few.¡± Paci left me, passing through the open glass door. Gail¡¯s bad news had apparently made its way to the lobby. I could see and hear kids talking in groups. I walked over to join Bodo. I stood at his side for a little while, saying nothing. Things were more than strained between us. We¡¯d pretty much taken a time out, spending more time apart than together. We each had our own cell-rooms, and they weren¡¯t near one another. ¡°Hi,¡± he said finally. His voice was rough with emotion. ¡°Hi.¡± ¡°Is dare a problem?¡± ¡°Yes. Gail again.¡± ¡°She needts to go.¡± ¡°Yes, she does.¡± My chest tightened. There was so much to say, but I didn¡¯t want to be the one to start. ¡°I think I should go too,¡± Bodo finally said. ¡°Maybe chust to have a break for a little while.¡± Page 38 I pressed my lips together to keep them from trembling. This was so not the time for this. But it was happening, and to stop it would have been disrespectful. ¡°Why? Why do you have to go? It¡¯s dangerous out there.¡± ¡°Yes, it is. Dat¡¯s true. But in here it¡¯s dangerous too.¡± He looked down at the ground, holding onto the fence with his fingers above his head while he kicked the gravel with his toe. ¡°Not really. It¡¯s safer here than most places.¡± ¡°Maybe for some things. But for my heart, it is not safe. It is destroying.¡± I knew what he meant. Every day that I saw him moving around without me, doing his thing and smiling when I wasn¡¯t a part of his life, a little piece of me felt like it shriveled up and died or something. It was a painful process, this one of letting go. ¡°Where would you go? To the Amazons¡¯ place?¡± ¡°Maybe. Or maybe I will go to da Keys and make anudder contact point for us.¡± ¡°A pilgrimage?¡± I asked, kind of joking but kind of not. Maybe a road trip is what Bodo would need to get his head back on straight. ¡°I don¡¯t know what dat is. But I needt to find my own place dat doesn¡¯t have Paci dare.¡± I sighed. ¡°Why is it always about Paci? I haven¡¯t done anything to be with him. I¡¯ve been all alone since ¡­ since I found out about what you did. Since before that - since the day I told him I could never be with him because I was with you.¡± He dropped his hands from the fence and looked at me. ¡°But you are not with me. Not now.¡± Tears were in his eyes and mine too. I shook my head. ¡°No, you¡¯re right. I¡¯m not. I wanted to just forget that you lied. I wanted to, but I couldn¡¯t. I was so disappointed in you, Bodo.¡± My words were barely a whisper. We were finally saying what had been cooking in our minds and hearts for two weeks. It was horrible but necessary. ¡°We both didt bad things.¡± ¡°Yes. We did. But I told you the truth, all of it. Without you even asking me about it. I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m guilt-free, but I think I did the best I could under the circumstances. And I told you so you¡¯d have the option to make your choice about me. But you didn¡¯t.¡± My voice trembled with emotion. ¡°You outright lied. You kept things from me. Even when I confronted you, you continued to lie. If Kirsten hadn¡¯t come here and visited us, I¡¯d still probably be living under the shadow of your lies.¡± His jaw clenched. ¡°Kirsten.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be mad at her. She wants you for hers. She¡¯s very up front and honest. You can¡¯t blame her for trying to take you away.¡± ¡°I blame her for everything.¡± It was like a light switch in control of a very dim and dying light finally flicked off. That was the moment I stopped feeling so terrible about Bodo wanting to leave. It was so simple. Just one sentence. Something deep inside me was glad he¡¯d finally said it out loud. ¡°Kirsten is blameless. It¡¯s you who¡¯s to blame, Bodo. I hope one day you can look in the mirror and understand that.¡± He had so much growing up to do. Why hadn¡¯t I seen that before? He turned towards the building and shoved his hands in his front pockets, not looking at me anymore. ¡°Do you needt help with da problem inside?¡± ¡°You can help if you want. I¡¯ve asked Paci and Trip to do a trial of some sort with her. We need some kind of fair process to figure out her sentence or whatever.¡± ¡°I will take her to da Amazons with me if you want. Dat¡¯s something I can do for you, if you let me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want you to go. It¡¯s dangerous. And even though you and I aren¡¯t together anymore, it doesn¡¯t mean I don¡¯t love you anymore. You¡¯re family. I don¡¯t want you to put yourself in danger, especially not for an idiot like her.¡± ¡°I have to leaff. It¡¯s too much pain for me here. Dat Paci is in luff with you and soon you will luff him too. He¡¯s a good boy. Dat¡¯s true. I don¡¯t like it, but dat¡¯s true. He iss very much like his brudder dat way. He will be good to you.¡± Bodo started walking towards the building. I ignored his foretelling of my future love life. I was in no position to be falling for any boy anytime soon. I wasn¡¯t good at it. ¡°If I can¡¯t change your mind, I hope you¡¯ll accept whatever we can offer to keep you safe on your trip ¡­ to the Amazon place or the Keys.¡± ¡°Yes, I will do dat. I don¡¯t want to die. I just want to be happy.¡± My heart spasmed with the pain, knowing that Bodo couldn¡¯t be happy with me, anymore than I could be with him. Maybe if our world had been like the old one, we could have moved on from the lies. But then again, probably not. In the old world I would have had my father¡¯s wise counsel, and he surely would have told me that I couldn¡¯t build a life with a person I could not trust. Bodo was a good guy, and I knew he¡¯d always have my back. But the boy I chose to spend my life with had to have not just my back, but my heart, too. He had to protect it with everything he had, not be careless with it. Lies were carelessness in fancy packaging. I was done with all of that useless garbage. Chapter Eight PETER HAD MANAGED TO GET a good portion of the kids who weren¡¯t busy working or guarding the perimeter to gather in the main dining hall. Trip, Paci, and I sat at a long dining table and Gail stood in front of us, her handcuffs off. Flick and Derek stood behind her and Ronald and Jamal stood at her sides. Everyone else rested at tables and benches around the room. ¡°Gail, do you know why you¡¯re here?¡± asked Paci. His voice and expression were the picture of patience. He sounded so much like his brother, it was spooky. As soon as the first word was out of his mouth, the murmuring of the gathered crowd stopped. ¡°Yes. Because of her,¡± she said, gesturing at me. ¡°No, you¡¯re here because of you,¡± said Trip, annoyed. ¡°And your behavior that¡¯s put all of us in a bad spot. Now we have to decide what to do with you.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s get this done,¡± said Paci. He sounded very tired. ¡°I need someone to tell us what happened.¡± Peter stood up and moved to Jamal¡¯s side. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what I saw.¡± ¡°He¡¯s just going to give everything from her side. They¡¯re both in on it,¡± argued Gail. ¡°You¡¯ll get your chance. Just wait,¡± said Paci. ¡°Peter, please go ahead and tell us.¡± ¡°Gail had come to us again to ask if she could work with Jenny and the EWS, like she has many times before, and we told her no. She complained that other people get special treatment - she mentioned Fohi - and accused us of playing favorites and being unfair. And then she started slinging insults and got Bryn upset, so Bryn went up to her and then Gail brought out a knife.¡± Several kids gasped out in the audience. ¡°And she threatened to kill her with it or a bullet.¡± ¡°She attacked me! She hit me! It was self-defense!¡± ¡°Gail, wait your turn,¡± said Paci. Turning to Peter, he said, ¡°Is that all?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Peter sat down. Paci turned to me. He spoke louder than he needed to for the benefit of the crowd. ¡°Is this all true?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I nodded to everyone who was looking. ¡°What was the insult? What got you upset?¡± asked Trip. I thought about it for a second, but decided it was just too inflammatory to say. She needed to be judged on her behavior, not her stupid hangups. ¡°It¡¯s not important.¡± ¡°If it made you angry enough to approach her, it¡¯s important,¡± said Trip. ¡°I need to know if you were justified in doing what you did.¡± Peter stood. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what she said. It doesn¡¯t bother me, just for the record, even though it¡¯s as ignorant as cannerism.¡± I shook my head slowly at him, but he ignored me. ¡°She called me a gayboy.¡± I glanced at Trip and knew that it was a done deal for him. Gail was a goner. ¡°She shouldn¡¯t be punished for being ignorant,¡± I said. Paci stood, putting one hand on Trip¡¯s shoulder and one on mine. ¡°I think I speak for almost everyone here when I say that prejudices are the simple disguises of hate. And we don¡¯t tolerate hate in Haven. Hate breeds negativity and anger and pain. Nothing good comes of it. Gail, you¡¯ve been open with your hostility towards Bryn, Peter, Trip, and many others since the day you arrived. You¡¯ve made no secret of your intention to leave one day.¡± She opened her mouth to interrupt, but Paci held up his hand to silence her. ¡°We will take a vote here today to decide whether you stay or go. But before we do that, do you have anything you want to say? I suggest you come up with something that will allow us to show you some mercy.¡± ¡°Mercy? That¡¯s a joke. What I have to say is this: you people are all deluding yourselves. You think you can just hand pick who you want here and who you don¡¯t? Bullshit. If I want to be here, I¡¯ll be here. If I want to go, I¡¯ll go. You can try to kick me out, but I¡¯ll come back, and I¡¯ll bring friends. None of you is safe here. None of you gets to decide for me what I do with my life.¡± Paci raised an eyebrow. ¡°That was your plea for mercy? Interesting.¡± He looked at Trip and then me. ¡°What¡¯s your vote? Stay or go?¡± ¡°I vote go,¡± said Trip. ¡°No question. She¡¯s a disease.¡± Gail¡¯s face burned crimson. ¡°Figures. You gayboys stick together, don¡¯t you?¡± Trip¡¯s hands clenched on top of the table. ¡°Easy, brother,¡± said Paci under his breath. ¡°She¡¯s nothing to us.¡± ¡°Bryn? Stay or go?¡± All eyes were on me. Trip was right. She was a disease. She was trouble. She¡¯d threatened to kill me. But I couldn¡¯t just send her out to die, could I? I caught Bodo¡¯s eye. He nodded at me and pointed at himself. I will take her, he said, mouthing the words. I bit my lip as I considered the option. He was going to leave anyway. And she knew he wasn¡¯t with me, so she had no problem with him. I didn¡¯t worry that she¡¯d kill him on the way to the Amazon¡¯s. I nodded my head at him. ¡°I vote she goes. But know this - Bodo has already volunteered to escort her to the Amazon place. I¡¯m not sure if I could have voted for her to go if we were just going to send her outside the gates.¡± Paci stood. ¡°I vote she goes, escort or not.¡± His eyes swept the room and stopped on Gail. ¡°Gail, you are hereby expelled from Haven for a period of one year. You can ask to come back after that period if you wish, and we¡¯ll consider your request with open minds and hearts.¡± ¡°Fuck you,¡± she said, right before she spat at him. The crowd broke out in angry shouts. Ronald and Jamal closed in, stepping nearer to Gail in a protective gesture. She shoved them away, acting like she was going to make a run for it. Flick ended her scheme by tackling her from behind, taking her down and wrestling her arms behind her back. With Derek¡¯s help he snapped on some cuffs and stood her back up. Ronald¡¯s eyes bugged out of his head and he pointed at Flick. ¡°That¡¯s it! I remember now! You played that kid cop in that Disney movie! Ha!¡± Gail had a cut on her lip where she¡¯d landed, and the blood was running down her chin and smearing gruesomely across her teeth. Flick stood next to Gail, his hand on her shoulder, rolling his eyes at Ronald. ¡°Not now, dude.¡± Gail had zero interest in Flick¡¯s former life. She was practically foaming at the mouth, she was so angry. Blood sprayed out with every word. ¡°Fuck you, Bryn! Fuck you, Paci! Fuck you, gayboy! You can¡¯t send me out of here! You can¡¯t send me out!¡± Page 39 Flick and Derek dragged her out of the room and back to her cell. She shouted profanities the entire way. ¡°Well,¡± said Paci, looking at Trip and then me. ¡°That was interesting.¡± ¡°She¡¯s lucky she¡¯s a chick,¡± said Trip. ¡°Since when?¡± I asked, laughing a little. ¡°I seem to recall being a chick and you pulling a knife on me.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not a chick,¡± he said, smiling evilly. ¡°You¡¯re the ball-biter.¡± ¡°Call me that one more time and see what happens.¡± He pointed over my shoulder. ¡°Careful, my bodyguard is here.¡± I turned around to find Peter at my back. ¡°Here he is,¡± I said, moving out of his way. ¡°Mister righteously indignant himself.¡± ¡°Hey, watch your tongue,¡± he said, moving to stand next to Trip. ¡°I have a right to be offended at her words.¡± ¡°No one¡¯s saying you don¡¯t,¡± said Paci. ¡°So when does she leave?¡± he asked. ¡°And were you serious? Bodo really offered to go.¡± I nodded. It felt weird telling Paci. ¡°He says he needs to leave. He¡¯ll go there first and maybe to the Keys. He¡¯s not sure yet.¡± ¡°You¡¯re okay with that?¡± asked Peter, worry in his eyes. ¡°No. I¡¯m worried about his safety.¡± ¡°What about ¡­¡± Paci left his question hanging and I didn¡¯t bother answering. ¡°Better get them ready to go tomorrow, Peter,¡± I said. ¡°Food, a weapon for Bodo, but nothing for her.¡± ¡°Gotcha. Consider it done.¡± He looked up at Trip. ¡°Feel like helping me pack?¡± ¡°Do I have to?¡± he asked, looking down with a serious expression on his face. ¡°Yes, of course. Don¡¯t fool yourself into thinking my questions are actually questions.¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, I won¡¯t.¡± Trip rolled his eyes. ¡°Catch you guys later.¡± He followed Peter out of the room, waiting for the crowd ahead to make room for their passage. He didn¡¯t shake Peter off when Peter took his hand in his and pulled him along. ¡°They¡¯re cute, aren¡¯t they?¡± I asked. Paci stood just behind me. ¡°Yes. I never thought I¡¯d say that about Trip and another guy, but it¡¯s true. They go together well.¡± I sighed. I was so happy for him. I sent out a silent prayer into the universe that they¡¯d stay that way - happy and comfortable together, with no lies between them. ¡°Bodo¡¯s leaving. I can¡¯t believe it.¡± Paci¡¯s words made goosebumps go up my arms. ¡°Yes. It¡¯s unreal.¡± I almost whispered it, I was so distracted by visions of my memories flashing across my mind¡¯s eye. Bodo jumping out of the water with a huge grin on his face, teasing Peter about his doodling, Paci and me in the tree, Paci fighting and proving himself. Two great guys. Both of them had brought me joy and laughter and love. But only one of them had brought me pain. I felt Paci¡¯s warm hand settle on the cool skin of my elbow. I turned to face him. ¡°Are you sad he¡¯s leaving?¡± Paci stared into my eyes. I knew my answer was very important to him. ¡°I¡¯m very sad.¡± Paci¡¯s face fell. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Because I love him and worry about him getting killed.¡± Paci nodded his head, his nostrils flaring. ¡°But not because I want to be with him.¡± Paci had been about to withdraw his hand, but instead held on. ¡°You don¡¯t? Why not?¡± ¡°Because. He hurt me. He lied to me. I know he loves me, but I can¡¯t trust him with my heart.¡± ¡°Could he have done something that bad, that it can¡¯t be forgiven?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve forgiven him. I just can¡¯t forget. Every time I think about it, it hurts all over again.¡± Paci nodded. ¡°Maybe I can get a shot at your heart now. If you¡¯re not too gun shy. If I didn¡¯t blow it already by forcing myself on you that one time.¡± I smiled sadly. ¡°You didn¡¯t force yourself on me. I let it happen. We both know that.¡± I sighed, the weight of all of it still so heavy. ¡°Let¡¯s just take it one day at a time, okay? I¡¯m not in any hurry to frolic in the meadow naked, but I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m closed off to a relationship either.¡± He laughed. ¡°Frolic in a meadow?¡± ¡°What? Don¡¯t laugh. That¡¯s how I picture true love or whatever.¡± My face was burning with embarrassment. ¡°Okay, good to know. So when you strip off all your clothes and run through a field with me, I¡¯ll know it¡¯s the real deal?¡± I laughed as I turned to leave the room. ¡°Yeah. Then you¡¯ll know.¡± ¡°What meadow?¡± he asked, walking out behind me. ¡°Will any meadow do or is there a special one you have in mind?¡± ¡°Any meadow. Anywhere. But I have to be naked.¡± ¡°I can handle that.¡± ¡°Maybe, maybe not.¡± It felt good to be teasing with a boy again, especially because it was Paci. I stopped when we reached the hallway, because the realization that Bodo was leaving hit me again and sobered me up quickly. But a piece of me, a very small piece, wasn¡¯t as desperately sad as it had been just an hour ago. About half of the citizens of Haven showed up for Bodo and Gail¡¯s departure. Gail remained silent yet furious throughout the entire process, but she wasn¡¯t so stupid that she didn¡¯t take the backpack full of supplies that was offered to her. Winky stood next to me at the fence. ¡°She sure is a peach, isn¡¯t she?¡± ¡°A rotten one,¡± I said, quietly so no one else would hear. Bodo stopped at the exit and turned around. I walked over to say goodbye, and everyone else dropped away. ¡°I guess diss is for goodbye den,¡± he said, looking down at me. ¡°Yes.¡± I began to cry. It didn¡¯t matter that he¡¯d lied. He was still the boy who¡¯d joined my little gang when all I had were Peter and Buster. He became a part of my family that day under the overpass. ¡°You don¡¯t have to go,¡± I whispered. ¡°You can change your mind.¡± ¡°Yes, I do haff to go,¡± he said, crying too. ¡°Dis is da best for us. You know dat. I will send you a message with da birds. I promise. Okay?¡± He reached out and stroked my cheek. ¡°You are a beautiful and strong girl who I am ferry, ferry lucky to haff in my life. I luff you forever and ever, all times. Never forget it.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t. I love you too, you big jerk.¡± I laughed through my tears. It was so ridiculous that we were saying goodbye. ¡°This world is so fucked up,¡± I said. ¡°Yes. But it¡¯s ferry interesting, too, don¡¯t you think?¡± He smiled and wiped his tears off with his forearm. ¡°I¡¯m goingk to wrestle dis tiger all da way to da sea where da Amazons live and den maybe I will go to da Keys. I will sendt you a bird if I go dare too, you will see.¡± ¡°I hope so.¡± I reached up to hug him and let myself be enveloped in his love for a few seconds. His familiar smell washed over me and made me sob. I finally had to push him away. ¡°Go before I make you stay.¡± I wiped my cheeks off with both hands. Winky walked up. ¡°Don¡¯t forget me, you big dope.¡± She reached up and got her hug from Bodo. Several others came over for a handshake or goodbye, too. The last one to approach was Paci. He held out his hand. ¡°Good luck, Bodo. I wish you well. Send us a message when you get settled.¡± Bodo stared at his hand for a couple seconds and then took it in his. He shook it hard, his grip firm. ¡°I will. Watch out for Bryn. She needts you.¡± Paci nodded. ¡°Got it.¡± Bodo left without another word or backward glance. I stayed there at the gate until I couldn¡¯t see him anymore. I cried off and on the entire day, avoiding everyone¡¯s company, finally retiring to my bed right after dinner. I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to find that Peter had come in at some point and fallen asleep next to me on my narrow bunk, while Buster and Freak-the-Cat were dozing in a pile at my feet. In the middle of the night in a prison cell no bigger than my old bedroom closet, I learned that it was impossible for me to feel completely lost and alone when surrounded by so much love. I was working outside helping to build a more permanent bathroom structure when Jenny came running out to find me. Paci was standing on a ladder, hammering in some nails, and I was holding the board in place for him. Paci and I, along with three others, made up the latrine crew. In two weeks we¡¯d finished separate shower facilities and now this project. ¡°Bryn, Paci ¡­ I got a message.¡± Paci slipped the hammer into the belt at his waist and took the nails out of his mouth. ¡°Good news I hope.¡± ¡°No. I don¡¯t think so. You¡¯d better come in.¡± I dropped the board where it was and followed her. Paci put the nails in his tool belt¡¯s attached pockets and jumped down off the ladder, catching up to us quickly. Jenny spoke as she neared the bird cages. ¡°It¡¯s weird actually. I got two messages.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s what¡¯s weird? Two of them?¡± I asked, not sure I understood. ¡°Well, take a look.¡± She reached inside a box that rested on top of the cages, taking out a small booklet. She put the box back and opened the book up to page she had marked. Handing it over to me, she pointed to the last two entries. ¡°Read them for yourself. I translate them and then burn the notes so no one can put two and two together and figure out the code.¡± I read the first one: Bad penny in the cans and wings. Watch your feed. Then I read the next: All is well. Sending friends. Please welcome them in. The words - bad penny - made me sick to my stomach. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal?¡± I asked Jenny. ¡°What do these mean?¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s the thing. That first one is more like our usual message. There are codes inside the codes. But I don¡¯t know what they mean by bad penny. Cans are usually canners.¡± Now I wasn¡¯t just sick, I was dizzy too. ¡°Bad penny is Gail. That¡¯s what I always used to call her. I said that to Kirsten one time.¡± ¡°Watch your feed?¡± asked Paci. ¡°Is that code?¡± Jenny shook her head. ¡°Wings means the birds themselves. Their feed is their food. That¡¯s all I can figure out. And the second one looks fine to you, I know, but that¡¯s not like any message I¡¯ve ever seen.¡± ¡°Did you ever get anymore about Bodo?¡± I asked, suddenly fearing for all my friends who¡¯d had contact with that Bad Penny. ¡°Just the one saying he¡¯d arrived and then the one saying he was going to the Keys. That¡¯s it.¡± I nodded. ¡°So do you think someone was telling us that Gail is with the canners and did something to the bird feed?¡± asked Paci. Jenny nodded. ¡°Maybe.¡± I walked over and looked at the feed. ¡°Does she mean this feed?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the same batch we started with,¡± said Jenny. ¡°She didn¡¯t know anything about it when we began, and then she was always just trying to get in here and learn the codes. She never touched the birds or their food.¡± ¡°Why was she so damn interested in the codes?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like she was trying to fit in any other way. Why fit in with the birds?¡± ¡°Do you want to know what I think?¡± asked Jenny in a small voice. ¡°Of course,¡± said Paci. ¡°Yeah, speak up,¡± I agreed. ¡°This is freaking me out.¡± ¡°I think that she was trying to learn the codes so she could use them against us.¡± ¡°What makes you say that?¡± asked Paci. Page 40 ¡°Because she never had anything nice to say about anybody. She was angry that she got turned away from here and the treehouse. She was bitter about being rejected.¡± ¡°It was her own damn fault,¡± said Paci. ¡°Yes, but she never saw that. She thought that everyone was stuck up. That¡¯s what she always said. So when you sent her to the Amazons, I think she worked to get in with the birds there, too. See that entry?¡± She pointed to another line a few above the messages I¡¯d just read. Greasy flea on the birds. Pest. Got any remedy? ¡°Greasy flea?¡± I asked. Jenny shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. ¡°You know how her hair is always greasy and stringy ¡­ they call her a greasy flea, I guess.¡± ¡°What did you answer them?¡± ¡°My answer?¡± She shrunk down so that her head was practically resting on her shoulders, her neck disappearing. ¡°Yessss ¡­,¡± prompted Paci. ¡°I told them: Trial by error.¡± ¡°Oh boy,¡± I said, smiling at the cleverness of it. ¡°I hope she never read that.¡± ¡°If they translate their messages like we do and keep them in a book, then she did. But whether she¡¯ll know there¡¯s a code in a code is another thing. Looks like she doesn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Why do you say that?¡± I asked, looking down at the book again. ¡°That second message wasn¡¯t sent by the regular code-keeper. It¡¯s too plain. In regular English. We never send codes like that or they¡¯d be too easy to figure out.¡± Paci took the book from me and studied it for a little while. ¡°You¡¯re right. All these are just a bunch of goofy stuff if you don¡¯t have the context.¡± I put two and two together. ¡°So that means if the code says ¡®friends are coming welcome them in¡¯, and it wasn¡¯t the code keeper who sent it ¡­¡± ¡°And it was Gail or one of her friends who sent it ¡­,¡± added Paci, sounding just as sickened as I felt. ¡°Then you¡¯d better get ready for someone not very friendly to be coming to the gates very soon,¡± finished Jenny. ¡°Someone you don¡¯t want to let in.¡± Paci and I took one look at each other and ran for the front of the building. I yelled as I went. ¡°Jenny! Send a message to anyone you can! Tell them you think the EWS has been compromised at the Amazon point!¡± ¡°I can only send there!¡± she yelled. ¡°The birds only go one place!¡± ¡°Send it anyway! Maybe someone there who¡¯s on our side will get it!¡± ¡°Wait!¡± she yelled. I stopped, letting Paci pass me by. ¡°We have an alert code for this situation. Should I use it?!¡± ¡°Yes!¡± I left Jenny to her messages and ran for the door to the compound, getting there just behind Paci. He threw the door open for me. ¡°Where are you going?¡± he asked, breathing heavily. ¡°I¡¯m getting Peter and the City Manager Group. We need to get our defenses up and ready. Everyone needs to get armed.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll sound the alarm,¡± he said. ¡°Good. See you out front.¡± I turned to run to the hallway. Paci grabbed my hand and pulled me back, spinning me in his direction. ¡°What?!¡± I asked, freaking out as I imagined a whole army of canners descending on Haven while we were all peacefully hanging around, building bathrooms and sheering sheep. ¡°Just this,¡± he said, pulling me to him and pressing his lips to mine. We¡¯d both been running, and our upper lips were sweaty. The salty droplets pushed down to our lips as they smashed together. His hot, slippery tongue came out to invade my mouth before my brain even had time to compute what was happening. Maybe I should have complained or shoved him away, but I didn¡¯t want to. I¡¯d missed him, watching him all this time being stoic and strong and good to everyone around him. Happiness was in such short supply and life was so damn unpredictable; I had to grab the bits of it I could when they presented themselves. I turned my head and deepened the kiss, pulling him tighter to me. He moaned and wrapped his arms around my back, going so far that his fingers rested around the edge of my ribs and touched the edges of my breasts. ¡°Whoo hooo, somebody get me the fire extinguisher!¡± yelled Fohi, coming out of the nearby hallway. He was clapping his hands. ¡°Check it, Fuzzybeans. Those are called lo-vers. Maybe someday you¡¯ll have one.¡± I broke off the kiss, leaving Paci with a stormy look on his face. ¡°Later.¡± I smacked him lightly on the cheek. He released me so I could run over to Fohi. ¡°Whoa, what? Am I next?¡± A huge grin split Fohi¡¯s face and he opened up his arms. ¡°Come to Papa.¡± ¡°Canners on the way. I need you to arm everyone up, now.¡± ¡°Is this a drill?¡± He dropped his arms at his sides, his game face instantly in place. He¡¯d been practicing for this event three times a day, every day since he was able to walk again. ¡°This is not a drill. This is the real deal. They¡¯re on their way, and Gail is coming with them.¡± ¡°That bitch.¡± Fohi reached behind him and pulled out a big white canister. ¡°What the hell is that?¡± I asked, totally confused. Fohi wiggled his eyebrows at me. ¡°Got my own little early warning system.¡± He lifted the device above our heads and pressed a button on the top of it. Three things happened simultaneously: A very loud air-horn blast ripped the air around us, sending my eardrums into painful spasms. Fuzzybeans immediately decided that Fohi¡¯s shoulder was a very dangerous place to be and detached a section of his back skin in her hurry to leave. And Fohi¡¯s recently regained balance abandoned him. Rocketed forward by the unexpected sting of kitty claws, Fohi fell into me, sending us both into a pile of arms and legs on the floor. Paci helped me to my feet, nudging Fohi farther away with his foot once he had me up. ¡°Idiot,¡± Paci said. ¡°Put that damn air-horn away before you destroy everyone¡¯s hearing.¡± People were pouring out of the hallways and in through the front door. ¡°It worked, didn¡¯t it?¡± Fohi was on his knees, trying to regain enough balance to get up. Rob came striding in with Winky at his side. Both of them had pink, flustered faces and stopped to help Fohi. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± asked Winky, letting Fohi go when he was standing. ¡°Canners are coming, we think. Everyone needs to arm up,¡± I said. I caught Peter¡¯s eye as he came into the room. The crowd was getting louder and louder as the word spread across the room. ¡°Listen up, everyone!¡± yelled Paci. The room went dead silent. ¡°We think we have a group of canners coming. We don¡¯t know how many people or the exact details, other than they¡¯re coming soon. We need everyone to get armed and in position. We could be in position for a day or several. It¡¯s hard to say as you can imagine.¡± ¡°How do you know this?¡± asked Trip. He was standing next to Peter. ¡°We got two messages from the Amazon contact today. We¡¯ll discuss it with you in a minute. But we think Gail is behind it and will be coming with them. She is not to be trusted, no matter what she says.¡± Before it could get loud again, I spoke up. ¡°Peter and his city crew, come with me. Derek¡¯s crew meet in the armory to get armed first. The rest of you with Paci and Trip. Do it like we practiced.¡± There was a crush of bodies for a minute or so while everyone headed in different directions and tried to move around the lobby to get there. Eventually, I had the whole city corp with me in the corner. There were about fifty kids there in all. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± asked Peter, coming to stand next to me. Winky was right behind him. ¡°We got two messages, very mysterious. First one said Gail is with the canners and did something to the bird feed, and the second one said some friends are coming and to welcome them in.¡± ¡°What¡¯s so alarming about that?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Whoever sent it didn¡¯t know the code. So we have to assume it¡¯s someone faking it.¡± ¡°Gail.¡± Winky¡¯s face got red. I sensed the berserker coming online. ¡°I think so. What do we have ready to go?¡± I asked Peter. ¡°Well, we have the pits dug, if they decide to try and get past the concrete barriers that are already out there. Of course, Gail knows where most of them are. Remind me to poke her in the eyeball for that if we see her. And we have several trip wires in place with grenades, but I caution against using them at all because they could breach our gate if something doesn¡¯t fly right. You know it was Fohi out there directing traffic most of the time.¡± ¡°But Rob was there too, so we¡¯re good,¡± said Winky. I nudged her with my elbow but said nothing. We¡¯d be girl talking later about her little love triangle. ¡°We have the watchtowers and all of them have a full stock of rifles.¡± ¡°Which Gail also knows,¡± I said, rolling my eyes. ¡°Why did we have to let her in here? Someone remind me.¡± ¡°Because you¡¯re not evil, that¡¯s why,¡± said Peter. ¡°Now, one problem ¡­ we have the long stretches of fencing where someone could cut and get through. We need to have people all along the edges. I¡¯ve got several barriers up inside the fence line for those watchers to hide behind, and we have the dogs.¡± ¡°Do we want to risk the dogs?¡± I asked. ¡°We use them with the animals and everything else.¡± ¡°How about Buster?¡± suggested Winky. Peter hit her lightly on the arm. ¡°You aren¡¯t suggesting we use Buster as a watchdog are you?¡± ¡°Why not? Everyone has to pull his weight. Even the naked poodle.¡± ¡°Buster¡¯s going to get involved even if we try to keep him out. He always finds a way to be a pest,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m putting him in my cell,¡± said Peter. ¡°They¡¯ll shoot him to shut him up. Or poison him or something.¡± ¡°Keep all the dogs inside,¡± I said. ¡°We can¡¯t afford to lose the workers.¡± ¡°Not all of them are workers,¡± mentioned a kid who worked with the cattle. ¡°We have a shepherd and terrier that aren¡¯t worth anything for that.¡± ¡°Fine. Take those two out and keep them behind a barrier outside, one on each side of the compound.¡± He nodded and left to do what I asked. I pointed to several other kids. ¡°You guys go get armed and then find spots along the outside to protect the fences. Make sure every barrier has at least two kids behind it. Bring some water and food packets. They took off running through the lobby to the far hallway that housed the armory. I shook my head. The size of this place had seemed so ideal when it came to dreaming up what we¡¯d need to house a lot of people. But it was suddenly much less ideal when it came to defending it. There were so many weak spots. ¡°What do you want the rest of us to do?¡± asked another kid. ¡°Go get armed up and come to the lobby when you¡¯re ready.¡± Winky, Peter, and I stood in the corner alone. ¡°What do you think¡¯s going to happen?¡± asked Peter, looking out the front windows. Everything was calm and cool outside. The sky was blue and the clouds puffy and white. ¡°Defend our home. What else can we do?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go get some guns and flak jackets,¡± said Winky. ¡°I don¡¯t like standing here by this window knowing some asshole canner might be looking at me through some binoculars.¡± ¡°Someone in the watchtower would sound the alarm if they saw someone.¡± Page 41 ¡°Yeah, well, whatever. I need a gun.¡± Winky started walking across the lobby. ¡°We ready to do this?¡± asked Peter. I put my arm around his shoulders. ¡°You and me are ready for anything, right? We¡¯ve made it this far.¡± Peter resisted walking, making me stop too. ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°I just want to say a couple things, in case I die.¡± ¡°You are not going to die, don¡¯t be stupid.¡± ¡°Just in case. I want you to know that I love you, first of all.¡± I kissed his cheek. ¡°Of course you do. And I love you, too. Come on.¡± ¡°I also want to thank you. For bringing Trip back to me.¡± ¡°Yeah, that was awesome, wasn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Yes. I had to slap some sense into him, but if you hadn¡¯t brought his cheek over here for me to do it, we¡¯d still be alone. So thank you. And he says thank you, too.¡± ¡°Make him tell me,¡± I said, giving Peter an evil grin. ¡°He¡¯ll hate that. Okay, yes, I¡¯ll make him do it.¡± I hugged Peter. ¡°Can we go now? I need to cover you in armor and bullet proof stuff.¡± ¡°Good. I look tough in that stuff, don¡¯t you think?¡± ¡°Oh yes, definitely. About as tough as old Fuzzybeans.¡± ¡°Hey. Fuzzybeans has claws. Don¡¯t count old Fuzzybeans out of the picture.¡± We made our way down the hallway, passing kids running by in bullet proof vests and helmets, carrying guns. Their boots on the concrete floors reminded me of an army mobilizing. It was scary to think that we were an army right now. And the enemy was coming for dinner. The day passed slowly. Dark clouds rolled in, making the waiting and the nervousness worse. It was just as dusk was taking a firm grip on the landscape when an alarm sounded out of one of the watchtowers in the front of the compound. I was in the lobby with Peter, Ronald, Jamal, and Winky. Paci and Trip were out in the field with Derek and Flick, Rob and Fohi as backup commanders. They were visiting each of the barriers and keeping spirits up, spreading news and reports, delivering food and water. Fuzzybeans never left Fohi¡¯s shoulder. Every time they passed by the front lobby, we could see the splotch of white by Fohi¡¯s neck. Another alarm came right after the first from one of the watchtowers in the back. ¡°They¡¯re coming on two sides!¡± said Peter, panic in his voice. ¡°What, you expected them to just come to the front door?¡± asked Winky, sarcasm lacing her voice. She hitched her rifle up on her shoulder higher. The flak jacket was too big for her, and the helmet kept falling down. Mine didn¡¯t fit any better. We¡¯d both been sweating our butts off for hours. A third alarm came from another watchtower on the back side of the compound. ¡°Surrounded,¡± whispered Jamal. ¡°Nobody panic,¡± I said, taking the binoculars from the nearby counter and putting them to my eyes. I saw nothing at first. But then there was a movement up the street from the gate. Red shirt. ¡°It¡¯s that friggin¡¯ Robson chick. And she¡¯s walking with a bunch of fat motherfuckers.¡± ¡°Canners,¡± said Ronald. ¡°Those are the only people with body fat on them anymore. Shameful.¡± ¡°She¡¯s a canner?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Why¡¯d she let us pass if she¡¯s one of them?¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I said, not sure what I was seeing. ¡°It¡¯s her, but ¡­ I¡¯m not sure she¡¯s with them.¡± Robson hadn¡¯t been the prettiest girl I¡¯d ever seen before, but she¡¯d undergone a not very good transformation since the last time we¡¯d met. The closer she got, the more detail came into view. ¡°Oh, this is not good,¡± I said. ¡°Not good at all.¡± ¡°What? Let me see.¡± Winky took the glasses off my face. I looked at the twins and then Peter. ¡°They must have taken her and her people prisoner. She¡¯s pretty messed up. They¡¯re marching her to our gates.¡± ¡°Why would they do that?¡± asked Ronald. ¡°To get us to surrender,¡± said Peter. ¡°Don¡¯t do it, Bryn.¡± I frowned at him. ¡°Of course I¡¯m not going to do it.¡± ¡°But what if they threaten to kill them if we don¡¯t?¡± ¡°Duh! They¡¯ll kill us all if we let them in, idiot!¡± yelled Winky. ¡°They¡¯ll just have to die.¡± She was getting hyped up from the pressure. I could feel it happening in my chest too, wanting to burst out in a fit of anger and fight. ¡°Chill, Winky. We can¡¯t get mad at each other, that¡¯s not going to help.¡± ¡°Sorry,¡± she said, looking at the ground and handing me the binoculars. ¡°Stressful.¡± ¡°We can¡¯t let them kill any kids in cold blood like that,¡± said Ronald. ¡°We have to stop them.¡± ¡°The only way to stop them, is to kill them,¡± I said. ¡°If you¡¯re ready to do that, then get your butt out to one of those barriers and get ready to shoot.¡± Ronald opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. ¡°I prefer to act as your guard.¡± ¡°Okay, then. Just take your signals from me.¡± I looked at Jamal and he nodded. ¡°Keep your shields up and your eyes open.¡± We all moved to the door. Another signal came from the first watchtower. ¡°Two whistles. They¡¯re within shooting range,¡± said Winky. ¡°Let¡¯s go out and see what they want,¡± I said to the twins. ¡°Where do you want me?¡± asked Winky. ¡°Stay here and watch our backs. If anyone gets through from one of the side gates or back, you take them down from in here.¡± I reached around my shield to grab hers and yanked it up. ¡°Keep your shield up! Don¡¯t leave your neck exposed like that.¡± ¡°Okay, okay, no need to be so bossy.¡± ¡°Do you know who you¡¯re talking to?¡± asked Peter. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. Go ahead and be bossy. I know you can¡¯t help it.¡± I tried to kick her shin, but she moved too quickly. ¡°And where should I go?¡± asked Peter. ¡°Behind the desk. You¡¯re Winky¡¯s backup.¡± ¡°Seems kind of like the chicken¡¯s position to me,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯re the City Manager. If you die, all our plans for civilization die with you. You need to just stay safe.¡± He smiled. ¡°You act like I¡¯m the crown jewels or something.¡± ¡°You are,¡± I said smiling back. ¡°You are the jewels in the crotch of this mighty empire.¡± ¡°You just called me testicles didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Yes, I think I just did.¡± I pushed open the doors to the lobby, stepping out into the humid air just as a slash of lightning lit up the sky not far away. The rumble of thunder followed about three seconds later. ¡°Just a few miles away,¡± said Jamal under his breath. ¡°What a night this is going to be.¡± ¡°You aren¡¯t kidding,¡± said Ronald. The twins lifted their shields and put them out in front. I stood in between them and did the same. Together, the three of us walked up to the gate to meet with the forward guard of the Bad Penny¡¯s canner friends. We stopped at the fence, and the canners stopped about fifty feet from the other side of it. They¡¯d neatly sidestepped all the traps we¡¯d set for them, thanks to that traitor asshole Gail. ¡°We¡¯re here for the ball-biter!¡± one of them yelled. Jamal snickered. I nudged him in the ribs with the butt of my gun. ¡°Nobody here by that name! Sorry! Time to go back home!¡± I yelled. ¡°That¡¯s not what we hear!¡± One of them pushed Robson forward. ¡°Got a gift for ya! Little trade!¡± Robson took several steps in our direction. She could barely walk, she¡¯d been beaten so badly. Her face was a mess of old blood and swollen bruised parts. ¡°Ohhh, no. Baby girl, don¡¯t do it,¡± whispered Ronald. ¡°Robson, stop!¡± I yelled. She halted and swayed where she stood. ¡°We don¡¯t trade people!¡± I shouted. Robson lifted a hand and put it to her face, crying into it and dipping her head down a little, as if the effort of keeping it up was too much. ¡°Robson does!¡± yelled a girl¡¯s voice. ¡°Oh, Lordy. That girl ¡­¡± Jamal recognized her as well as I did. ¡°Gail, this isn¡¯t right what you¡¯re doing!¡± I couldn¡¯t see her. She was hiding behind a group of man-eaters. ¡°You¡¯re one to talk! That¡¯s your ball-biter there, guys. Go ahead and get her!¡± Several of them ran forward. ¡°Better stop!¡± I yelled. ¡°Last warning!¡± They didn¡¯t listen. A warning shot came from a watchtower and hit the pavement near one of their feet. That guy stopped running and froze in place, but the other one kept coming. A second shot rang out and hit the second guy in the leg. He went down with a yell, blood quickly pooling below him on the pavement. ¡°They shot me! They shot me!¡± He sounded surprised. ¡°Fucking idiot,¡± I said under my breath. A voice came over a bullhorn from up in a watchtower. Fohi. ¡°Testing. Testing. Can you guys hear me out there?¡± ¡°Who gave that boy a bullhorn?¡± asked Jamal, sounding mystified. ¡°This should be good,¡± said Ronald. Fohi continued. ¡°Hello, canners. Hello, Gail you sorry bitch. My name¡¯s Fohi in case Gail didn¡¯t think to warn you about me. I¡¯m the munitions expert and armory manager all up in this hizouse. I just wanted to let you know that you are about to travel through a mine field, rigged by yours truly, not only in the front of the fence, but also ¡­¡± There was a brief pause and some whispering before his voice came out over the horn again, but this time facing away from us. ¡°¡­ But also in the back and sides of our property. You see, the best part of a defense plan is one that is kept secret. And Gail, you were never in on my particular secrets, so canners ¡­ cannibals ¡­ you ugly motherfuckers who think eating people isn¡¯t disgusting, wrong, and evil, better watch your step. Or not. I don¡¯t mind if you blow your damn legs off in my traps. You¡¯re just going to make me look good.¡± The forward movement of the group stopped. There was some arguing going on in their ranks, but I couldn¡¯t hear what they were saying. Robson was looking at us and them. I could see she was weighing her options. ¡°Oh, shit, she¡¯s going to run for it,¡± I said. ¡°You got the keys?¡± asked Ronald. ¡°No, I don¡¯t have the keys,¡± barked Jamal. ¡°The point is to keep them out, not let them in!¡± ¡°Robson, don¡¯t!¡± I yelled. ¡°We can¡¯t open the gate!¡± She froze with one foot in our direction. The look on her face was a horror to see. She knew she was a goner. Winky came bursting out of the door. I could hear the jingling of the keys in her hand. Everything happened so fast, it was like my worst nightmare unfolding and I was stuck in mud, unable to react fast enough. A shot cracked out from the group of canners. Robson screamed, her body flying forward as she fell to her face. Blood spread out across her back, but she wasn¡¯t dead. She crawled towards us. Several other kids were pushed out of the canner group. ¡°Do the trade, Bryn!¡± yelled Gail. The four kids who were walking towards us now, Robson¡¯s group obviously, were clinging together and crying, three girls and one guy. ¡°Stay back!¡± I yelled to Winky. ¡°Do not open this gate!¡± Page 42 More shots were fired from the watchtower. Two more canners fell, screaming. One walked sideways, stumbling, trying to keep his balance. An explosion went off by his leg sending him and a blast back into the group of kids standing near Gail. Lightning struck the ground less than a mile away, setting fire to some distant brush. Thunder came right on its heels. More cracks of gunfire came from the back side of the compound and then the right. ¡°They¡¯re coming from all sides,¡± said Jamal, his shield trembling. We all screamed when a bullet smacked into Ronald¡¯s shield. ¡°Steady!¡± I yelled. ¡°Keep the shields up and your heads down.¡± I put my gun in between my shield and Jamal¡¯s. ¡°Winky! Get back inside!¡± She turned and ran, her shield on the wrong side of her body. A shot rang out. Too late. I was too late to warn her. She fell when the bullet caught her leg. ¡°Aahhhhh! Shit! I¡¯m hit! Bryn, I¡¯m hit!¡± The lobby door opened, and Peter came running out. He grabbed Winky¡¯s shield and held it up in front of them both, letting her use his shoulder to get up on her knees. Together the two of them crawled into the lobby and shut the door behind them. Bullets hit the glass but didn¡¯t shatter it; I couldn¡¯t tell if they went through or not. I prayed my friends were okay inside. More explosions came from the back of the compound. The distant sounds of dogs barking came from the far side where I knew Paci had been. ¡°What do we do?¡± asked Jamal. ¡°Run or stay put?¡± ¡°We stay.¡± I just needed the canners to get a little closer so I could take a few of them out. But the kids who were part of the treehouse group were huddled together and crying, and it was so distracting I couldn¡¯t concentrate. ¡°We have to get those kids in here,¡± I said. ¡°Dammit!¡± The sound of a diesel engine came into range. ¡°It¡¯s a tank,¡± whispered Ronald. Then he yelled, as if he¡¯d just heard his own words and their meaning had finally sunk in. ¡°We¡¯re doomed! It¡¯s a tank!¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a tank,¡± I said. ¡°But it¡¯s not good news either. I think it¡¯s a big truck.¡± I couldn¡¯t see it, but I could hear the high pitched whine of its engine as it blew smoke out its stack. It was coming for us, no doubt about it. ¡°No wonder they just stood there,¡± said Jamal. ¡°They¡¯re going to ram us!¡± A flame came out of the middle of the canner group and flew over the fence, landing in the middle of the front sidewalk area and smashing into a lake of fire. ¡°Molotov cocktail,¡± said Jamal. ¡°You awful demons.¡± Several more gasoline bombs followed, but none of them got near us. One landed near the lobby and my fearless buddy Peter opened the door with a shield and sprayed it with an extinguisher before going back inside. ¡°Peter is a brave soul,¡± said Ronald. ¡°You have no idea,¡± I said, so proud of him I could burst. ¡°Open the gates!¡± yelled Gail. ¡°Or we¡¯re going to shoot them!¡± The kids in the huddled group started to run. They split apart at little, but all of them were converging on the spot where we stood. ¡°What should we do?!¡± yelled Ronald. ¡°Cover them! That¡¯s all we can do!¡± I held up the gun and sighted down the barrel. Anytime I saw a kid lifting a weapon, I pulled the trigger. Before the treehouse kids got to the fence, two canner kids went down, either by my bullets or someone¡¯s up in the watchtower. The first of the treehouse girls to reach us threw herself against the gate. ¡°Please!¡± she screamed. ¡°Let me in!¡± And then she stiffened and blood came pouring out of her mouth. She choked on it, and it splattered across our face masks. ¡°Oh Jesus, Lord,¡± pleaded Jamal. ¡°Please stop this madness!¡± The second kid to reach the fence tried to climb it. They shot him down in seconds, and he landed with a terrible thump on the ground near our feet. When the third kid reached it, I yelled, ¡°Lie down! Don¡¯t climb, don¡¯t stand! Lie down as low as you can!¡± She dropped into the dirt without hesitating and pressed her face into the fence. ¡°Please save me! Please don¡¯t let them kill me!¡± Peter came charging out of the front door, shield out front and keys in hand. ¡°Peter get back inside!¡± I screamed. ¡°No! We have to let her in!¡± The diesel engine was getting louder. Rain began to come down in buckets. We went from cowering under a darkened sky to drowning in a deluge seconds later. The keys slipped out of Peter¡¯s grasp. Ronald put his shield on the ground and bent down, getting as close to the fence as he could. He reached under the heavy protection and through the chain links, taking the desperate girl¡¯s hand in his. ¡°Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name¡­¡± Together they recited the Lord¡¯s prayer while Jamal and I covered Peter opening the gate. ¡°The tank is coming!¡± said Jamal, practically crying. ¡°Get her in here before it smashes us! We have to get inside!¡± More shots were fired in the back, and then some from what sounded like inside the lobby. I turned sharply to see if I was just hearing things and saw a flash of light from behind the glass. ¡°Someone¡¯s inside!¡± I yelled over the sound of the rain. ¡°Winky¡¯s in there!¡± Fohi¡¯s voice came out over the bull horn again. ¡°Heh, heh, heh ¡­ better run canners. You too, Gail, you greasy haired, beady eyed redneck dumbass. Triple Bar D¡¯s all up in your asses! Wooo hooo!!¡± It was the next flash of lightning that finally made Fohi¡¯s nonsense come together for me. I saw the grill of the truck headed our way. It was bashed up and dented like it had been in a smash-em-up derby, and it was headed right for the crowd of canners at the gate. They scattered when they saw it coming. Rifles picked them off one at a time as they tried to escape into the night. Several disappeared into the darkness on the sides of the truck, missing being run over by mere feet. Some weren¡¯t so lucky. The truck didn¡¯t stop for anyone. ¡°Let me out,¡± I said, frantic I would miss the chance to save some lives. There were still some treehouse kids standing there, and they looked like they were too scared to move. ¡°Come to the gate!¡± I screamed. ¡°Come to the gate! Get out of the way!¡± They couldn¡¯t hear me over the sounds of the rain and the thunder and the truck. Fohi¡¯s bullhorn came again. ¡°Hey, treehouse kids. You want to get run over or what? Move, move, move! Get to the gate now!¡± They didn¡¯t need to be told twice. Those who could, took off sprinting in our direction. The few who weren¡¯t able to limped along, helping each other as best they could. By the time they reached the fence, Peter had the lock undone. I dropped my shield and grabbed onto the gate, pulling it for all I was worth. It flew open far enough to let the kids in. Ronald crawled out on hands and knees and pulled the girl who¡¯d been praying on the ground in. ¡°Close it!¡± yelled Peter. ¡°They¡¯re all in!¡± ¡°Not all,¡± I said, smiling like a lunatic. ¡°Just wait.¡± ¡°Are you crazy?¡± yelled Jamal. ¡°We need to get inside!¡± He looked at the truck and screamed. I smacked him on the shoulder. ¡°Stop that.¡± He looked at me confused. ¡°But we¡¯re about to die. That¡¯s what people do when they¡¯re about to meet their maker.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not going to die. I know that guy.¡± I gestured to the truck that had stopped just outside the concrete barriers in front of the gate. The truck¡¯s brakes engaged and a big shot of steam or air came out of somewhere. Then the door opened and a guy got halfway out. ¡°Am I too late for the party?!¡± he shouted. ¡°No, you¡¯re right on time!¡± I yelled. ¡°But wait there! We have canners on the loose!¡± ¡°Not for long you don¡¯t!¡± he shouted back. ¡°Whoo hoo! I love me a round up, don¡¯t y¡¯all?!¡± He got back into his truck and honked the horn a bunch of times. Fohi¡¯s voice came over the bull horn. ¡°Haven welcomes ¡­ what¡¯s his name again? Oh, yeah ¡­ Jackson! We welcome Jackson from the Triple Bar D Ranch.¡± Jackson honked the horn a few more times. ¡°What in Jesus¡¯s name is going on here?¡± asked Ronald, sounding totally confused. ¡°He¡¯s the guy we met on the highway before. The one with the big semi, smashing cars.¡± ¡°Oooohhh, that guy. What excellent timing.¡± Ronald shot me a huge grin, showing off the most beautiful smile in Haven. ¡°I¡¯m sure he got a message from the Amazons just like we did. Guess he decided to come rescue us.¡± ¡°Those are the kind of friends I like having,¡± said Jamal. ¡°Should we go get him?¡± asked Ronald. ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll go. You guys get these kids inside and take care of Winky. She got tagged in the leg. But be careful! I saw light inside. I thought I heard shots, too.¡± Jamal nodded. ¡°Right.¡± He faced the kids. ¡°Okay, you people. Follow me. Stay between my shield and Ronald¡¯s.¡± ¡°You go too, Peter. Leave me with the keys.¡± ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Yes. Go.¡± Peter joined the group of kids, all of them huddled together and crying, several of them looking back at Robson on the ground. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll get her later,¡± said Ronald. I waved at Jackson through the fence, and he stuck his head out. ¡°Ready for me?¡± ¡°Yeah. Let me come get you.¡± I looked all around, hoping we were alone but not trusting that we were. Our riflemen hadn¡¯t gotten everyone who¡¯d come, and I had no idea what was going on behind us or on the sides. I had to trust that my people had me covered. I couldn¡¯t leave Jackson out there like a sitting duck. I ran as fast as I could with the awkward shield banging against my knees and the helmet sliding all over the place, only stopping when I was next to Jackson¡¯s door. He climbed down and stood next to me for a second in the rain. ¡°Long time no see,¡± he said, smiling down at me. ¡°Too long. How¡¯s Katy and the others?¡± ¡°Everyone¡¯s good. She sends her love. And Chantal says she¡¯s coming next time I make a visit.¡± ¡°Awesome.¡± ¡°I got a present for ya in the back.¡± He jerked his thumb towards the trailer. The distinct sounds of mooing came to my ears. ¡°Can I see it in the morning?¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯ll keep. Better get us inside before someone decides to take a pot shot at my hind end.¡± I gave him my gun and put my arm around him, holding the shield in front of both of us. ¡°Ready to run?¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m ready. Let¡¯s hit it.¡± We took off running across the pavement. Halfway to the gate I realized my mistake. I¡¯d taken my eyes off the entrance for too long, standing at the door of the semi. Gail had slipped through the gate and was headed for the lobby door. ¡°Gail! Stop!¡± I screamed, dropping the shield and running with everything I had. Jackson shouted behind me as he tripped over the heavy barrier I¡¯d been carrying and went down on his knees. I couldn¡¯t help him, I had to get to her before she could reach my friends. ¡°Stop! Gail! I have a gun!¡± It was a lie. I wasn¡¯t armed. I had to stop her anyway. Page 43 She spun around as I reached the gate. I jumped through the opening, measuring the distance between us. She was a good twenty yards ahead. She raised her gun and pointed it at me. I didn¡¯t have my shield anymore. I was closing the distance, but not fast enough. My feet flew over the wet pavement, throwing water up to my back and neck. My helmet fell off and I just let it go. I heard someone shout my name from off to the side. Maybe it was Paci. The rain muffled his voice too much for me to know for sure. Gail smiled. I felt the bullet slam into me before I heard the shot fire out of her gun. As I fell to the pavement, my chest going numb, I thought how strange it was to personally experience the speed of sound traveling slower than a bullet. The last thing I remembered seeing as I fell to my side and my head hit the ground, was Gail¡¯s body flying backwards and landing against the lobby door. My eyes slid shut and I smiled before losing consciousness. At least that bad penny won¡¯t be turning up anymore. Rain washes the earth. It rinses away all the oil and grime left by a careless civilization until there¡¯s no more trace of it. The blood that was left by the canners and their victims was long gone. The bodies had been taken away and burned. Any trace of their invasion into our haven had disappeared, making me wonder as I gazed over all of it from up on high if it had ever even happened. But then I looked down on my friends and saw all their sad faces, and I knew. I knew it had really happened, and that they¡¯d lost people they really cared for. Looked up to. Respected. I wept for them. Just as they wept for themselves. ¡°Dearly beloved,¡± said Ronald, his voice booming out over the crowd. ¡°We are gathered here today to say goodbye to some friends. Some very special people who gave their lives so that we might carry on¡­¡± His healing words, his poem about our lives, washed over me, their individual syllables meaningless, but their goal still met. Today was a new day for all of them. For me. Today we would start again and try to re-build what was lost. We¡¯d make it better and stronger and safer. With the gifts of cattle and horses from the Triple Bar D, we would build our herd. With the birds being sent from Jimmy and Sissy at the Cracker Barrel, we would increase our messenger system and rebuild the contacts poisoned by Gail. With the contact that Bodo was making for us in the Keys, we would reach more people and spread more news and make more connections. Have more friends. Grow our family. Paci reached over and took my hand and squeezed it. I looked at him and smiled weakly. It was the best I could do. Together we would carry on and do whatever it took to build Haven into the safe place its name implied. ¡°Bryn, would you like to say a few words?¡± Ronald asked. I moved over to the pulpit, looking down off the stage that had hurriedly been built to manage our memorial service. ¡°I¡¯m proud of all of you,¡± I said, looking at each of their faces. ¡°Proud of how you worked together before they came and during the fight. I¡¯m proud of how you made hard decisions and took risks that showed how much you value human life. That¡¯s the difference between us and the canners. We value the gift of our humanity. We must never lose that.¡± I took Ronald¡¯s hand and pulled it above my head. I would have done the same with Paci¡¯s, but the bruise from my flak jacket taking that bullet still didn¡¯t allow for it. ¡°Lift your hands with me as we say goodbye to our friends.¡± I waited until all the hands were up. I spoke loud and clear, making sure my voice spread out across Haven and beyond. ¡°Goodbye, Robson.¡± ¡°Sarah.¡± ¡°Rick.¡± ¡°Kenny.¡± ¡°Gretchen.¡± ¡°Bianca.¡± ¡°James.¡± ¡°Yokci.¡± ¡°Zach.¡± I had to stop a moment before I could finish. I needed to collect myself so I didn¡¯t have a breakdown. ¡°And Winky.¡± I dropped my head and waited a full two minutes before continuing. I wanted to remember how my friend Winky had single-handedly fought off three very enterprising canners who¡¯d cut in through an unguarded part of the fence and then found their way into our home through a service entrance, surprising Winky in the lobby. She was bleeding to death from a bullet wound to her leg, but she took them out all the same. She gave her life for Peter¡¯s and for everyone else¡¯s who ran into that lobby after her. I raised my head, letting my tears fall freely. ¡°May you all who have died ¡­ our friends ¡­ our family ¡­ rest in peace and be there to guide us when it¡¯s our time to join you.¡± ¡°Amen,¡± said the crowd. ¡°Amen,¡± I said softly to myself. ¡°Thank you for joining us,¡± said Ronald. ¡°We have food in the lobby for everyone. Please come in fellowship and remembrance.¡± I stood behind Peter and Trip, waiting for them to go down the stairs from the stage ahead of me. Peter was crying softly and Trip had his arm across Peter¡¯s shoulders. I knew I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about my friend or Buster. Trip only stopped hugging my best friend in the world and soul brother to sweep the naked poodle up into his arms and hold him close. Paci noticed me crying again and pulled me to him, folding me gently into his arms, mindful of my injury. ¡°Where to now?¡± he asked. ¡°Will you take me to my room?¡± I asked. ¡°I just want to lie down and forget this day. Forget the fight. And think about my friends I lost.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll take you. Do you mind if I stay with you?¡± ¡°No.¡± I hugged him hard, burying my face in his chest. ¡°Please don¡¯t leave me. I don¡¯t think I can be without you anymore.¡± He squeezed me a little tighter and leaned down to kiss me tenderly on the cheek. ¡°You don¡¯t know how glad I am to hear you say that.¡± EPILOGUE ¡°Can you believe this is the same place we rode up to on our bikes five years ago?¡± I asked. ¡°Five years ago, today. To the day,¡± said Peter. ¡°And yes, of course I can. I planned every square inch of this place out on paper in case you forgot.¡± ¡°How could I forget? Holy crap, you wallpapered eight offices with those plans.¡± ¡°That wallpaper is now responsible for the thriving metropolis that is Haven, population one thousand, two hundred and eighty four, thank you very much.¡± ¡°Five. Jenny and Fohi had their baby last night. A girl,¡± I said, biting into a turkey sandwich. ¡°They did? Why didn¡¯t anyone tell me? I have to put that into the log book.¡± Peter immediately started searching around for something. ¡°There are no pens or paper allowed on family picnic day, you know that. Stop looking for something to write with.¡± A small, handmade soccer ball created with about a hundred yards of twine landed in the middle of our grilled vegetables. ¡°Do you mind?¡± asked Peter in an offended voice. ¡°We¡¯re trying to picnic over here.¡± Trip came running over, all sweaty, his long, black hair a mess. ¡°Toss it here, babe! I¡¯m on the run!¡± Peter tried, but failed miserably. It landed at the feet of the nearby toddler who quickly bent over to get it into his fat little hands. It immediately went into his mouth. ¡°Oh, man! Not again!¡± Trip dropped down onto hands and knees, playing growling bear very convincingly. ¡°Give the ball to Uncle Trip,¡± I said. ¡°Go on, give it to the scary bear.¡± ¡°Bear!¡± shrieked the little boy, throwing the ball in a panic and nailing Trip right in the forehead with it. Trip feigned being knocked out and fell over onto his back, closing his eyes and letting his tongue hang out. The toddler didn¡¯t need any more encouragement than that. He ran over on his chubby little legs and dove on top of him, pushing a gust of air out of Trip¡¯s lungs. ¡°Tackle!¡± yelled Paci, running up to join the fun. He picked the toddler up and swung him into the air. ¡°You got him, Kowi! You killed the bear! Good boy! That¡¯s daddy¡¯s boy, big old bear killer!¡± ¡°Mama bear!¡± Kowi yelled, smiling and shrieking every time his dad lifted him up and let him fall again. ¡°Mama bear!¡± Paci stopped tossing him around and held him close to his chest, both of them facing me now. ¡°Yes, Kowi, that¡¯s your momma. Mama bear. Can you say, Nokosi?¡± ¡°Mowoki.¡± ¡°No, not Mo-oh-kee. No ¡­ say it .. Nooo.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Good boy. Now say, Ko.¡± ¡°Ko.¡± ¡°Good, Kowi! Now say, See.¡± ¡°See.¡± ¡°Put it all together. Nokosi.¡± ¡°Mowoki.¡± Paci shook his head and put Kowi down, looking over at me. ¡°Stubborn as a bear.¡± ¡°Wonder where he gets that from,¡± said Peter, smiling. Trip was still playing fake-dead but now he was laughing silently, tongue still hanging out on the side. ¡°He gets it from his father, of course. He gets other things from me.¡± I smiled at my little boy as he walked over, turned around, and sat his little butt right down onto Uncle Trip¡¯s face. Paci looked at me and winked. ¡°You up for another frolic in the meadow later?¡± I laughed, pointing at the little guy mashing his bum into Uncle Trip¡¯s face. ¡°Don¡¯t you remember what happened last time we did the naked frolicking in the meadow thing?¡± Paci laughed with me. ¡°How could I forget?¡±