《Solo Leveling: E Rank Support》


 CH 1: In Another Life

    It almost seemed like I was reading another story again or at least dreaming.


    I could feel something was off.


    It didn''t take long for me to understand that something was to happen.


    Then I heard a scream and a man was split right through the middle.


    I had seen so many people get killed before, but seeing this person die.


    It was strange.


    I thought I kept having this dream.


    ~+~


    [ Welcome To Solo Leveling]


    [ This is your modification system]


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: Undefined.]


    I glanced down.


    " Save me¡­"


    " Save me¡­"


    " I want to live."


    A grown man cried my mind couldn''t understand why he was so terrified or maybe the strange one was me.


    I looked across the room and alot of others were just like him, some showed their fear on their skin, others were silent.


    And I stood there uncertain of how I should react. Sadness, fear or should I copy them too. I could not find the right emotions.


    Everything was far too blurry for me to grasp the right response to feel.


    I was looking down at the old man. He kept screaming and he always looked around on edge, sometimes from his expression.


    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    I thought he couldn''t see me.


    In a way¡­ some how I just lost interest in him.


    I stood up.


    " What are you doing!"


    I looked to the side then I reached out my hand.


    [ MODIFICATION LIST.]


    Things would move in the same way I remembered, many people died running from the statue.


    Even after what I had seen. Somehow, I just couldn''t stop laughing to myself.


    It was dark and haunting, but it felt good, because.


    This was just a set up for someone elses story.


    These meaningless deaths were just frosting to that boy who sat in fear across the room.


    All these deaths were meant to lift him up into the boring figure others wanted him to be and so I could not stop myself from laughing at the deaths of all these people.


    This was meaningless.


    It was so haunting to know how meaningless they really are in this world. The life they believed they wanted to live in.


    It was all created without intention, but for only entertainment for a dark audience they won''t ever see in their lives.


    And I am now here.


    A witness to this life.


    How could I not find humor to this morbid entertainment and that''s what makes me smile and sad for all those people in this room.


    I didn''t tell them anything, but they were all fated to be the foundation for Jin woo.


    " This is all that you deserved." I said to the frightened man and I left him and walked towards a statue in the distance.


    Although for a brief moment. I never looked away from that statue with the cruel smile.


    As I passed some people. I begin to feel a sense of sorrow for them.


    They all could have been home and lived normal lives, but everyone wanted to be something and this so happened to be the result for those who seeked to be a Hunter.


    It was then I remembered one who looked familiar.


    A large man with long hair, that person who died in front of me.


    "..." I just looked at him before making my way towards the exit.


    For some reason I''ve always had a self destructive instinct, I was never bothered by the fear of death or the fear of danger and that had always applied through out my entire life.


    Maybe that was one of the reason I spent most of my time alone.


    I just didn''t care more about anything really.


    With each step I walked towards the exit. I sensed it. A sharp energy from behind me and for some odd reason. I always had a powerful imagination and because I trusted it so much I believed the feelings that the killer would appear behind me.


    I could have stopped because of the unease and the fear.


    I was never a hunter, but knowing that I could die in any moment.


    Well, that was also calming to me and I looked over my shoulder.


    Maybe I was always foolish or a burden, but in a sense.


    I just didn''t want to be like them.


    Living in fear, being controlled by pain and pressure.


    I''d rather die than to live on like them.


    Maybe if I was just like them.


    I could have lived a little bit longer.


    - YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED.


    [+ You have gained a Black Soul.]

 CH 2: DIM

    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ Your rank has been determined.]


    Rank?


    ~+~


    [ ] ???


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E.]


    [ +1 Black Souls.]


    E rank. I had a limited sense of what that was meant to mean for my situation, it wasn''t important to me, but something felt ominous about the unknown messages.


    So I turned away.


    The room appeared extremely dark even if there were light sources around me, I had to assume some shadows were people and those who did not move or made sound.


    I tried to not think to about them.


    I had an epiphany that nothing will change and my presence here was only that of a burden.


    It was only for a moment that emotion stayed, but those who have survived gave me a short boost of confidence that I could do something for what it was, I don''t know, but I knew my limitations as a human being.


    I''ve never exercised or did any form of training or neither have I been exposed to constant events of danger.


    I was not built like them.


    They had a higher survival rate in this place than me, just because they were ''Hunters''


    I felt cold inside.


    I was sure I was different too.


    ~+~


    [ ] ???


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E.]


    [ +1 Black Souls.]


    It didn''t help me that before all of this. I lost a friend, a really bad break up that was my fault and to appear here after all of that mess.


    I could barely think straight.


    There was always that temptation. Although it was a dull sense to seek to end my life, but in all honesty I was too tired for suicide, but somehow.


    My body needed someone to do it for me.


    So, I walked out again.


    Like the first time.


    And that is when the statue looked at me. It might have been terrifying, but if I really focused.


    People have a way to hollow their feelings, and I wasn''t so afraid.


    What else could it do? Erase me? Destroy all fiber of my existence until I no longer exists.


    Is that the worst it could do?


    Pathetic. I wanted to say, but my state of mind seemed to have controlled me just like before.


    I''m paralyzed and I could no longer feel things. In this moment I could only remember that friend I had lost and the things I could have done better.


    I could not think of anything other than the words


    ''I''m sorry.''


    A bright light appeared from the statue in the form of a sun, it was blinding and I felt something boil within my body.


    [ Your inability to survive has altered your life path.]


    [ You have gained the title.]


    [ Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly.]


    [ +1 Black Souls.]


    ¡­


    I didn''t really feel it. I just watched things and thought of things, and for every time I did remember.


    I would look at the pieces, remains of a human body of someone who I believed was myself.


    And I felt no remorse for him or myself. No emotions.


    I never really felt like a person at this point, just a bystander to my deaths.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    This would be my second death by far.


    Mentally I knew that there was something wrong with me, physically.


    I just could not function because I did not care about my life. The windows helped me function a little bit.


    I would read the status now and then. Often I tried to ignore the voices of other people here in the room, the sounds of anguish and loss they made were far too distracting and at times.


    I was emotionally affected and I did not like that so. I persuaded my mind that this is reality and to just accept the worst or maybe I just thought of more despairing things than to be cut down or crushed by those stone statues.


    Like being thought of as nothing more than a piece of furniture. A decoration that someone will just look at.


    If I could do it, then it must only be natural that others would do so as well.


    That terrified me more than the process of death, because for the past few minutes. I''ve seen at least 10 people dying in the span of 15 minutes.


    Maybe it was shorter.


    I managed to survive this time only because I imitated the familiar faces of those who I remembered to have survived.


    It felt far better than to be paralyzed by my crippling thoughts of death. So I hid underneath one of the statues with an instrument and just sat there watching as others died in my place.


    " No!"


    " Help! Please help me!"


    " Please!"


    It was the same man from the last time. The statue was right behind him and no-one would go out to save him.


    We watched as he cried silently, but he smiled and it was the most saddest smile I had ever saw.


    He looked at me.


    It took his life.


    And I looked to the floor, to these pale hands, to my unfamiliar clothes and to the shadow of a body I did not know.


    I just sat there and cried.


    A part of me was not sorrowful, but anger was there. I felt angry and I was ashamed then my eyes moved to the man, he had no face, just a hole going straight through and he layed on his side.


    '' It''s all his fault.''


    These prompts were like thoughts that just appeared, thoughts that did not belong to me.


    I looked across the room, where there was a faint glow, A scared girl by his side she was healing the wrong person.


    It made me angry that she was healing the person who was responsible for all of this.


    '' If he had never existed. No-one would have died here.''


    I had no right to think of such malicious or evil thoughts.


    They were placed in this without knowing.


    I felt emotional and I felt anger to the people who created and allowed these deaths to happen.


    It wasn''t right.


    It was meaningless.


    Why did such wicked things exist.


    I wasn''t angry to those stone freaks who killed and took the lives of others. I was angry at the creator who gave those orders and the system that allowed them to follow through those orders.


    It didn''t matter.


    I had no control.


    So I just sat underneath the statue and listened to the sound of a harp play towards the tallest one, the cruel lord.


    ¡­


    10 minutes has passed since Jin-woo found out the puzzle. Now I could finally see everyones face.


    We all stood inside of the altar that was summoned.


    This was the part I remembered most and because I remembered. I was unsure how I felt about all of this.


    Many people would just walk away, because of fear, desperation; because I''ve never understood the value of living.


    I could not really understand their reasons or motivation for escaping and I stood further away from the door for that very reason.


    I out of everyone here.


    I had no intention of leaving this room.


    There was no freedom, or a family out there waiting for me.


    I had nothing left.


    Even if I did escape.


    There would be no reason for my existence.


    I knew we were close to the ending and I wanted to see it with my own eyes.


    Good people have died today, maybe some weren''t good, it''s a sad thing that some will not be completely buried.


    This is a good out come.


    '' This is all that they deserved.''


    " The doors opened!"


    I looked towards the darkness pass the gates and then to the others.


    '' Out there, there must be a life waiting for them.''


    '' They''re really luck aren''t they.''


    ¡­


    ~+~


    [ ] ???


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E.]


    [ Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly.]


    [ +2 Black Souls.]


    I didn''t know how to answer.


    " All of them just started to move!" I looked at the stone statues, but for the life of me.


    Who actually gave a fuck about it at this point. I kind of lost interest.


    I had enough of listening to their foolish dialogues, so I sat down against the altar.


    I kind of ignored the way the girl seemed to have looked at me and Jin-woo. At this point knowing they were not like me.


    I had no interests in them, they weren''t people.


    I cracked my fingers and waited for some of them to leave.


    I needed time.


    Time to know what I want.


    To me there were many options here, but with all of these reckless emotions and thoughts roaring through my head.


    I was paralyzed with no intent and no direction, so I sat down paralysed without any reason to go forward or continue.


    I felt them coming.


    [ + 2 Black Souls ]


    [ Black Souls increases all parameters by 10, but can be used to purchase items from a Black Merchant.]


    [ Would you like to transfer to a Black Merchant?]


    ¡­


    [ Insufficient souls to transfer. Black Bank requires 100 Black Souls to transfer and an Alter.]


    ¡­


    ¡­


    ¡­


    I had to die¡­ how many times?


    " It''s the same as the game we played when we were young-"


    " Everyone do not take your eyes of the statues-"


    " Ah!!!."


    The moment I heard her scream. I looked to the faces of others, the sheer disbelief and maybe if someone did tell them.


    Maybe more would make the descision, so I tried to stand up, but my movements and my mind.


    It was all quite slow than I was actually used too, maybe it was the emotions again.


    And I sat on top of the alter and clapped my hands loud enough to catch their attention, but I was embarrassed on how childish I acted.


    These people were scared and I confessed I was kind of lost in those emotional details.


    I acted as if I was the only one who wasn''t affected, so I acted in a way that may seem normal.


    I tried to speak out my thoughts, the thoughts raced through my head and it felt like I was reading a script, completely meaningless.


    " Don''t stay here."


    " You will all die."


    " Please don''t speak."


    I know how these mobs are, they talk so much, complaining, speaking about things that are completely irrelevant.


    It''s one of the sins of writers, why did their characters have to speak so much useless shit?


    I could feel a conversation start to happen so I just moved and walked out of the circle to a folded body a weapon laid by his side.


    " When a person moves. A statute will coordinate to the nearest life. That''s how this dungeon was created."


    It wasn''t a lie and it wasn''t the truth either, but it made them assume or think and that''s really all that was needed.


    A distraction from the feeling of doom.


    I retraced my steps and I raised my weapon to the nearest man, but it was aimed too every single one of them.


    It was a warning.


    I would send every one of them to heaven or hell.


    I didn''t think this one through, but I wasn''t going to sit here forever until they decided when they should leave.


    Many died for nothing and they were wasting my time.


    [] SACRIFICIAL DEVIL ACTIVATED. []


    [] Black Soul multiplier level I []


    [ You will gain double the rates of Black Souls during this duration.]


    [ One hour. ]


    [ Sacrificial Devils Passive: Sever souls to convert them into Black Souls. ]


    I had all the time in the world.

 CH 3: Dream Of The Non=chalant Emperor

    [...]


    [ Sacrificial Devil passive has activated.]


    [ 59:00:00.]


    [ You will gain double the rates of Black Souls during this duration.]


    [ Sever souls to convert them into Black Souls. ]


    I hated almost everything about it.


    The corpses and scenery of faces sinking under the blood their wounds left behind.


    Everything about it smelled and looked like.


    A whole pile of shit.


    How can anyone feel so happy about being in a place like this.


    If people knew what they write about then maybe holocausts and air raid sirens hanging over their head will look like a paradise to them.


    I could never fathom what people found so appealing about hunters and their worlds.


    There is no doubt that the people in their stories are all beautiful and better looking than me, but that doesn''t make up for all the other terrible things that the others don''t talk about.


    Wars, territorial executions, disability trafficking and executions and coordinated kidnapping and other variants of atrocious crimes.


    They are lined up like cocaine lines ready for them to sniff at a moments notice.


    If they could see how the lower part of a person can spit to the other side of the room by a giant leg that weighs over 50 adult elephants.


    It would be far too late to pray to live inside of another life.


    And that''s where I question the people who were born in this world.


    Why do hunters exist?


    To protect and vanquish all obstacles that seek to invade their territories.


    And these people are all hunters?


    They all seemed ridiculous, scared and fucking trash to be holding such a title.


    If the rest of the world had hunters like them, then what''s the point for their existence? It would be far better to get rid of the disease before they freeze up in similar events in the future and cause collateral deaths in dungeons.


    Their rotten conviction as a hunter is what persuaded me to raise my weapon to their throats.


    " Disgusting isn''t it?" I looked around myself, of course this place would be disgusting someone may have shit their pants before death.


    Or it could be one of the people standing or hiding behind someone.


    What ever that stench was it made me sick.


    That and my disappointment mixed with disgust for these sorry hunters.


    I wonder if it was just me that always hated people.


    Why would anyone pair with a group of wet pants and raid with them in a dungeon.


    If it meant the complete collapse of structure within the group. Such actions can be counted as capital betrayal.


    This is the shit people do in video games! Fucking trolls and defeatist not actual fucking people!


    But shit they are humans too.


    It doesn''t matter if the difficulty in raids increased out of thin air or if a bunch of naked girls with horse faces came running from the gate with dicks hanging out from their armpits.


    This is a dungeon and not their ex''s fucking party.


    They should at least expect the same respect as a murderer stepping into their house.


    What silly shit their expressions showed as if being killed was never an option.


    I flicked my little rod.


    [ Little Rod.]


    [ A broken sword picked up from a corpse.]


    " What the fuck are you looking at?" I said to a small man who looked at me from the corner of the room.


    " Yes you little imp. The one with the ugly face and raven hair with that depressive kill me face." He knew I was talking to him, but the fact he was more stunned by my words and kept staring at my little rod.


    He seemed surprised that I openly cursed about his nose. The dumb fucker. Of course I would curse at you when you remind me that I too have fucking depression.


    Depressed at everyone else here being depressed.


    " Fucking hell."


    Me and my little rod felt like slapping a few peoples asses by the edges.


    " You." I pointed to the pony tail man.


    " Why haven''t you given the orders yet?"


    Of course this man needed a little bit of help. A kick start in his little tiny memory.


    " Look at me."


    " If I was a fucking leader. My number one priority is to ensure that all my bitches get out, alive."


    " Yours look like they are impotent and have unstable conditions."


    " So from now on."


    " I am your leader and as your leader I want you to have sex with me after we get out of this place." I pointed to the healer. She was indeed really beautiful, pale skin, looked like she had no scars on her edges and I had never had my cock in a girl before, but I knew she would make expressions I love.


    Yeah, I just know she will.


    " Shut up." I raised my finger to the old leader to stop him from speaking.


    " I know of a way."


    "- to save all your miserable.


    "- depressing lives."


    " Would you like to hear it?"


    I slapped his back and dragged him closer.


    " Of course you fucking will."


    " I would still tell you even if you cut out my tongue."


    " No-one wants to die as badly as me."


    " So listen to my precise instruction."


    I reached out counting the statues that surrounded the doors, along the walls and up to the cruel lord who grinned like a hentai gal.


    " These fuckers. They are all impotent just like you all." I pointed at the males and the females.


    " But here is the little twist."


    And then I point down below my feet to the cyan flames that surrounded us and the altar.


    " The number of lights you see, represent the number of survivors." I felt good because this felt like some psycho on reddit beating me up with knowledge I don''t know about.


    It felt good beating these people up with my knowledge.


    " Now remember that little bastard that ran out before? The one who left you all for dead." At the mention of that little whore.


    Some of the expression showed a slight hint of cannibalistic anger.


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Of course they would show such basic emotions, they are all dumb and that''s how I like my people.


    Dumb and follows simply instructions.


    " Well." I clapped my hands as loud as I could project sound- but it wasn''t as loud as I wanted to be.


    In my head my clap could cause thunders to roar, but it sound like slapping someones ass.


    " Just imitate the bitch."


    " Run for your life." I pointed to the exit door, but not a single one of them had moved and I was slowly beginning to lose my momentum.


    " Fuck did I not explain it clearly."


    " You did, but young man have you not forgotten what those statues have done?"


    " We can''t just leave¡­"


    Of course you can.


    I just smiled to him.


    What a very kind leader. I may have misunderstood him because he showed himself as a hunter, but now I''m really starting to like hunters, but just by a little.


    Tiny bit.


    I pulled his head a little closer to me until it rested nicely against my little rod.


    " What?"


    " Can''t."


    " Leave?"


    " Of course you can leave."


    " Because I ordered it."


    " And my orders will be followed." I slowly pulled little rod against his throat very slowly.


    " Or there will be blood." I looked him in the eyes.


    " Please follow my orders."


    " I may not be of a higher rank Leader."


    " But unlike you."


    I look to the others.


    " I really desire for you all-"


    " To make it to the other side."


    I bowed with a hand over my heart.


    " So please."


    " Stay alive."


    [ You words have sparked a flame in their hearts.]


    [ Your words have altered the course of the story.]


    [ They will remember this. ]


    They will remember? How silly. I do not expect to make it out with them.


    " Are you sure it''s safe!" A young woman screamed with so much hope in her eyes and those tears falling from them. I could only smile to reassure her hope.


    " You can slit my throat on the other side love."


    " I swear it." I swiped my thumb across my neck and she showed a horrific look.


    Then I realized.


    " I''m serious."


    But my problem with this entire scenario wasn''t the fact that they couldn''t leave.


    " Hello pretty girl. We meet again." I say with smile. The young healer shows a very bewildered expression and looks away.


    " Did you really tell the truth." Jin-woo spoke to me as I was enthralled by her boobs and her waists.


    " You''re a smart boy aren''t you. If I didn''t tell them." I shake my hands.


    " You would''ve done it for me." I reached down to the piece of muscles above his missing knee.


    " Shit. You are really going to be one heavy son of a bitch aren''t you." I looked up to Jin-woo with a faint smile, but I just couldn''t tell him the truth that even if he were to make it pass the doors.


    There could be a high chance that he will bleed out before he reaches the hospital.


    I''m sure that the others if they knew the real truth of this dungeon.


    They would just leave him behind again.


    Like they had done in the original story.


    How sad.


    " Btw Do you mind if ask for your names? I might forget it, but I would love to know."


    I knew Jin-woo, but the healer not so much. Although I do believe that if she were to lie about her name.


    I would forget it.


    It''s just.


    Honestly.


    I wouldn''t mind being their friend even if it''s just until they leave the exit.


    " Uh? I thought you already knew our names?" Mrs healer looked very surprised even Jin seemed a bit strange.


    " Huh? Oh¡­"


    Wtf.


    Why did this dead fuck have to know their names.


    I just looked down trying to remember her name.


    It never came through no matter how many times I pictured her face and that thick body she had when she and Jin-woo departed.


    I couldn''t even remember a hot girls fucking name


    ¡­


    " Well then." I clapped and placed a hand over my heart.


    " Let me introduce myself then."


    [ Input personality construct.]


    " Al."


    I reached out to hold the healers hand.


    " My name is Al."


    " Al Sera."


    [ Personality Construct has been altered.]


    [ You are now known by the construct.]


    [ Al = Al Sera ]


    Well then.


    " It''s my pleasure to meet you."


    " Beautiful."


    Although I was infatuated by her face. I was caught in a problem when it came to Jin-woo.


    The possibility where he mangaed to survive that vexed me more than everyone else here.


    Of course I knew his future.


    He was the idol of millions of fuck boys in my world who self inserted themselves to fuck his future wife and I was one of them.


    But the future I envision if he did survive was rather bleak.


    He would live for the rest of his life with his dreams and hopes shattered in hospital room for the first 6 months.


    Life may as well have already ended by then and all the world would be consumed by dragons and monarchs.


    Maybe if I was wrong and my predictions failed.


    I''m quite sure.


    Returning back to his family alive will only add burden onto his sister and he will be reminded every time she tries to hide everything behind a smile.


    Of the day he should have never came out of the dungeon.


    So I wonder.


    If saving him.


    Is a mercy.


    I would have to ask.


    " Do you-"


    " Want to live like this?"


    " What?"


    I came closer to him and stared in to his eyes as I repeated the words that I was sure would make him realize how despairing his future will be.


    I wanted to assume his thoughts even if my assumptions were wrong. I know what''s it''s like to be in his shoes.


    " Do you want to stay alive like this?" I traced the blood on the ground.


    Even when I looked to the side where people were slowly leaving this place, I could see the light in his eyes fading and the way he silently looked over his legs.


    He was on the verge of fading too, just like how the others did not know how to live.


    So I drew out little rod.


    " Do you want me to kill you?"


    " NO!"


    " NO!


    " No!"


    Mrs healer pulled me by the shirt and screamed.


    " Jin will never!"


    " And what if he wants this." I replied politely she was quite an aggressive girl and it made her attractive in some ways.


    " He wouldn''t¡­" Don''t tempt me.


    " You don''t know what it''s like¡­" I was going to say something, but I had forgotten when she just cried in my arms.


    Such a pretty girl. Shit why am I the bad guy here.


    But is she really saying that without seeing the look that he is showing now.


    He looks like someone who is contemplating the end of his life.


    I could only show a smile as I did not know of any way to explain an assumed mental suicide.


    I wanted to show mercy for him.


    Because I understood his dead eyes.


    " You''re cute."


    " You¡­"


    " Dumb idiot." You shouldn''t speak so lowly girl. I could still fucking hear you cursing.


    " Picture this."


    " Do you understand what it''s like to be put in a state where you have all your dreams shattered right in front of you."


    I reached for her pretty face and drew closer to her ears.


    " You''re whole life as a hunter just ended like them." She looked over and I''m sure the bodies of the dead were enough to show her my idea at least a little glimpse of it.


    No matter what would happen being dead alive will bring nothing good to those around you.


    You''d be a hindrance for the rest of your life even when you desire not to be.


    " If I were him."


    " Someone with a lot of burdens in life." I crawled my fingers up her spine.


    Someone with a lot of responsibility left to care off in this life.


    She smelled like something that could fuck really well. Her body felt so fit underneath her clothes.


    " Someone who has hopes and dreams."


    I pushed her away and kneel to Jin and as I flicked his forehead.


    He just looked at me as if he had been enthralled by something.


    " I would need a miracle, not someone elses charity."


    " A miracle¡­" He spoke.


    Yes.


    A miracle can only save someone like you.


    " That''s right."


    " A miracle."


    " Do you wish to feel alive."


    I reached out to his chest.


    And I crossed a seal of something I remembered from my life.


    A time where I once felt the most pain.


    A seal devils use to worship.


    An inverted star surrounded by a single seal.


    [ The Seal Of Orichalcos has been activated.]


    [ You have sold your soul.]


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]


    It was just how I imagined.


    A flourscent green light descending runic letters around a circle.


    This was¡­


    Like something I remembered.


    '' My creator!''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " Why?" Jin asked.


    Why?


    I looked up to see the light hovering over us and there in the middle of the light was an object. A golden medallion.


    [ An unknown millennial item has emerged.]


    And it''s staring at me.


    I reached out it and slowly something altered in that moment and it shattered and broke into a million pieces and rearranging into a Black Phantom Butterfly.


    [ Life points have been generated.]


    [ 8000. ]


    I wasn''t sure what could be happening, but something inside of me felt like.


    Everything will be okay.


    Although I just didn''t know what would be okay.


    The healer looked enthralled by it. The light, the butterfly as if she had never seen something so magical before.


    Something about the way she forgot what was happening around seemed¡­


    Peaceful.


    And I was envious¡­


    That she did not see the expression the Cruel Lord had just shown.


    That wicked twisted fucking grin.


    When I think about it.


    I guess I had said I would like to have sex after saving her.


    Saving? Pft, more like altering the events to fit me in.


    Yeah I really wanted to know what it was like being inside of her.


    ...


    But I guess even thinking about sex with someone like her.


    Could never happen like that.


    It was fun acting like I was the top shit in front of person who is stronger than me.


    " You''re smiling?"


    AHA.


    It was just fun.


    Yeah.


    This was fun.


    " Al?"


    And I just had to get caught up in it just when I''m on the verge of losing my sight.


    I reached out to the healer as she became, a little further away.


    I thought like I was being surrounded by something, a sea of violet flames and my hand was on the verge of fading away.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    The florescent green light covered his legs it was strange to see a the muscles slowly mending itself over the bone as if his leg will be brand new in a few moments.


    I don''t know what I felt about this.


    The loss of my soul.


    I never realized I even had one in the first place. It never had use for me at all.


    So that''s okay.


    I was already¡­


    Dead.


    And I could be dreaming from inside a grave too.


    Yeah.


    That sounds more realistic than being in another world.


    A dream.


    Sounds much more kinder.


    [ Hidden effect of Sacrificial Devil has activated.]


    [ Sacrificial Devil. Fated To Perish Wretchedly.]


    [ Hidden effect- Alter Reality.]


    [ The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.]


    [ You heart has rotted.]


    [ Your spine-


    [ Your-


    [ Your-


    " No matter what happens Jin."


    " Don''t give up."


    " Choose life."


    It was as if I was returning to a familiar moment in my life.


    A sense of deja vu.


    " Al!"


    " Hold on I''ll heal you!"


    '' Al!''


    " Jin! It'' not working!"


    " Heal!"


    " Heal!"


    " No don''t close your eyes!"


    '' Wake up!''


    ¡­


    " It''s okay."


    I reached out towards the voice.


    I almost felt someone holding my hand.


    Something cold.


    " I''m¡­"


    '' It''s okay Al we will get some help!


    '' Someone please save my little brother!''


    '' Please!''


    '' I promise¡­''


    '' Someone will save you¡­''


    '' Just..''


    '' In¡­''


    " I''m okay."


    " I''m already dead."


    ¡­


    '' No!''


    ''¡­''


    '' I promise nothing will ever hurt you.''


    '' Never again.''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ Your body has been destroyed.]


    [ You have created a hidden effect to title]


    [ Sacrificial Devil.]


    [ Because of your foolish actions.]


    [ An existence has shown you it''s sympathy for sacrificing yourself for it''s vessel.]


    ~+~ has destroyed all of its traces on your construct and has hidden you from this reality.


    - YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED.


    [ + You have gained a Black Soul.]


    [ + You have gained a Black Soul.]


    ~+~


    [ ] Al


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E ]


    [ Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly ]


    > Sacrificial Devils Passive: Sever souls to convert them into Black Souls.


    > [ Hidden effect- Alter Reality: The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.] [ Imitated ability: The Seal Of Orichalcos.]


    [ + 4 Black Souls ]


    > [] Black Soul multiplier level I []


    [ You will gain double the rates of Black Souls during this duration.]


    [ 29:00:30.]


    [ The effect has been canceled.]

 CH 4: You are not your skin

    Life is a compulsion.


    [ A boy hangs from a coat hanger, it''s body leaning to one side. A thick stench invades you.]


    You can choose to exist in its madness¡ª


    [ You watched it die.]


    ¡ª or wait until the day yours end.


    [ You have gained experience.]


    I remembered thinking along those lines as I observed many stories over my life as a 7 year No-Life shut in.


    [ You have gained experience.]


    And for every time I thought about it, my heart only grew cold inside to the reality that I would always be disappointed in the stories I find.


    There had to always be one thing inside a fan-fiction which made me sometimes ponder that maybe it was a good thing, god or what-ever entity that allowed us to live as people, allowed us to die too.


    People had this intelligent way in projecting rotten realities onto others.


    The things I found in stories sometimes took away my good soul and sympathy for some human beings.


    The motives of the writers and their sad perspectives of life, to someone who had not lived or had almost forgotten most of his life, these cheap experiences rotted my mind and my perception of reality outside this cage.


    The stories I read were always lifeless interactions of spilling blood and the character always reacting or perpetrating atrocities to reach a desirable goal.


    Something about a plotted story-line felt similar to finding a crushed bird on the side of road with it''s eyes empty and ants crawling in out of it''s body.


    The stench that came from it will force you to hold your breath until you were far from it, regardless of whether it existed there yesterday or the day after.


    It was the same experience of going into a new story for me.


    I always expected something to put me off.


    Unfortunately the world of fan fiction was polluted with system notifications that took up 59 percent of the chapters or an insert whoring out their existence while fishing for the attention of a whore.


    How did they magically appear at the right location and timings of the main plot with 100 percent accuracy?


    Who knows. Stalkers have their ways of taking things too far and I a lustful and impatient no lifer have read thousands upon thousands of these poisons.


    Bored with the grind, bored with the system and power ups and sick of the whores who spread their dirty pussies for the self inserted bastards who detail their emotionless sexless life.


    It did not matter how well written or how devilishly plotted a story was, When you are mentally retarded and believe you are In a living hell.


    In the end they were just things to fuck off too.


    Like what my arch enemies on NTR forums say.


    Fuck off and do not invest.


    After reading through thousands of fan-fiction you develop an empty feeling that makes you imagine it being in your chest, the very same feeling you ache from when a family member you love or a person you are fond of dies.


    I felt the same heart ache after reading Solo Leveling too.


    [ Jin-woo has killed-]


    [ Jin-woo has killed-]


    [ Jin-woo¡ª ]


    Facing monsters and outer dimensional monsters just wasn''t enough for me and the romance in Solo Leveling was unappealing to my tastes.


    Jin-woo a boy who became this powerful entity, he surely had a preference for choosing to be a disable, but I was like that too.


    '' You bastard! How could you be surrounded by all these beautiful woman and ignore them!''


    My mind and the words that came out of my loose lips, I could say that we were both two different people.


    '' Wtf is this romance¡­ she sniffed him and fell in love?''


    '' Fuck you Author! A happy ending? You only decided to show us on the last chapter that he married her and have a kid! Die!''


    '' Fighting and Fighting and Fighting and all these useless dialogue. Fuck Jin-woo, stop being a good guy and just¡­''


    I may not have liked the boy who had survived the dungeon, but I hoped that maybe someone like him, could¡­


    Be a little more selfish¡ª-


    Stop the meaningless fighting.


    '' You fucking bastard-monarchs I will kill you all!''


    ¡ª-And live a little more.


    I believed he had that kind of power, but as I had said before.


    Something about a plotted story-line felt similar to finding a crushed bird.


    '' Save the world, and restart everything you had lived.''


    [ You have broken your lap-top.]


    ''¡­. Fuck!''


    '' What''s the point of watching you-''


    '' Fuck!''


    '' He used the cup of reincarnation to start over.''


    ''- I fucking hate my life, Jin you asexual idiot, You wanted to start over for what? To keep the monarchs out? And of course you will not kill those NTR bastards who are poisoning millions of people like me.''


    '' I should have stopped after he received the system¡­''


    ''¡­''


    '' So is life, you will ways find disappointment by things you can''t control¡­''


    '' And if I was in another life¡­''


    '' Shit, that wouldn''t be good.''


    '' No¡­ No¡­ not good at all.''


    After 20 years of living as a person, and wasting 7 of those precious years as a no-life.


    Words that entertained me and managed to evoke images of thrilling adventures in my mind, sadly they became just things I glanced over without reading.


    Unfortunately, life will always be ruthless to a No-Life.


    I had come to terms that I was someone who could no longer live a normal life anymore.


    [ A group of armed men have stormed in the southern district of a mall in **** street, during the robbery, while police returned fire, 7 people have been confirmed dead and more are still believed to be held hostage by the group.]


    '' Wtf¡­ That''s just down the road¡­ Holy shit¡­ Now! this is better than Solo Leveling.''


    [ You have turned off the radio.]


    I defaulted into stories as it was the only better way of suicide I could think of and the worst option for myself was to go outside and be apart of the people who always seemed to live with an empty wallet, and if not that, then I would most likely become something another person would have to clean up after I die.


    As much as I considered myself to be a disease.


    I had a compulsion to wake up at 2 am in the morning, and check Pebnovul.com and mindlessly scroll through the list of stories I could not stand reading.


    The pictures of dirty whores who seem to belong to a ntr story attracted me more than the titles or description on the fan-fiction category.


    I did not give anything a chance, the hotter the girl looked, the faster I clicked.


    You develop a 6th sense of what is good and what is not after years of mindlessly reading inexperienced wish fulfillments or in kinder terms.


    Trash.


    The ideology " Do not judge a book by it''s cover." Stemmed from the defeatist mindsets of people who have regretted or suffered a bad end from a bad experience in their lives.


    I was not one of them. I judged all stories by their presentation, because here in this hell hole of a site.


    You would not find a shining diamond, just a better distraction, you''d come to forget soon after, until that euphoria begins to fade.


    You can''t expect someone else to write the story you want to read.


    And to make up for my own inexperience, I just turned off my logical side of my mind and depending on how terrible it gets, I''d hoped that these people one day died faster than I did, but that would be a sad wish.


    Fan-fictions were kind of like the legal drug you recommended to people who you could cheaply call friends, not family.


    Sometimes they were always bland and tasteless, there were many categories you can choose from, stories of fulfillments, stories of psychopaths, stories of rotten morality that could turn you rotten if you let it.


    I found the comment sections of Pebnovul to be more addicting than swimming through wish fulfillments.


    Sometimes the fights I see people go through on their forums made me feel more alive than the projected desires of someone writing about his proxy fucking a lot of wet pussy and better than the 10 chapters of an anticipated boss battle with an oc who is high from OP.


    But that was life of a Peb addict. You just read things whether it was bad or good.


    Your opinions did not matter.


    Your functioning mind stimulates of the good shit and filters the bad until you feel ill by the knowledge of some poor son of a bitch who spent hours writing those words down, he could either be masturbating off the comment of someone cheering for his wasted hours or suffocating by the ranting of a toxic man who ruthlessly shouts at them with words, unfeeling to their struggles and situation.


    The toxic man keeps letting out more word count and quality content than the chapters these poor son of a bitches release with every chapter.


    It was glorious to see a toxic man once in awhile, in the sense where you can commit murder through just words, but in the end, such foolish actions only caused the discontinuation of some good people leaving the platform.


    And most of the time we needed those good drugs.


    Unfortunately, fan fiction was an addiction a No-Life could never satisfy or permanently rid off.


    I continued to waste a lot of youth in that bleak life style for a very long time and as a toxic man on PebNovul.


    I''m not to sure if I could have been murdered for talking shit on a fan-fiction, but often I did think that it could be possible.


    It can become possible, depending on how sick someone had to be to get so angry over words.


    It did not matter if someone desired my life, I could learn to be more psychopathic than a fat whale who could purchase a weapon from America.


    I just needed a little rod to gut that fish and even when I did die, apart of me wouldn''t mind it.


    I''ll feel more annoyed at how things reached that point and I''d hate to be locked in a cell for writing more than the author.


    Some would believe being sent to jail is a victory, but that''s only the perspective of a dumb son of a bitch who''d believe being locked up in jail made up for all the terrible things that person has done.


    Effective, but still dumb when you think off it.


    It might just be the inexperience of a person who has never been confronted before, to think '' Catch the bad guy and it''s a good ending.''


    Well that depends on the crime. Consulting with a NTR artist about happy endings is like delivering fresh fish to him and given back a boiled alien fish in return.


    Just because you won''t see them again, does not mean they would feel it''s enough to stop.


    Like fanfiction, someone out there is addicted to crime, like others are addicted to inflicting harm and hate.


    Not everything makes a happy ending, you can choose to ignore something and believe that just the mention of a person paying for their actions behind a cell could be a satisfying ending.


    It might be true but the only way to make the best ending, is by taking that persons life so they could never have the option to do it again.


    I could do it if I were in another life, because I would have the IQ of -50.


    Consequences was a cheap bitch.


    An SSSS grade dungeon with threats surrounding you, for someone who loved and hated stories reality was a piece of shit a No-Life needed to stay the fuck away from.


    Instead of being slaughtered by a drugged up MC.


    I found the law to be more terrifying as it loved to fuck with your life and never let you get away, Courts, and probations that can extend over your life and into your retirement age. It was fucking hell to live.


    Maybe that''s why I enjoyed fan-fictions more than life, even if it was shit.


    Maybe that''s why I always enjoyed isekais and another world stories, although some were hard to read. I''d just make up for it with my imagination and entertain myself, by asking questions.


    Why do people from my life choose to be there?


    - Woman, or wanting to be the main characters, but I swear to god it''s for the western and eastern whores, or just jealously for their pathetic virgin life, but adult-hood would fix them eventually, maybe not.


    Why do we choose to exist there?


    - A distraction, everyone has their own reasons for wanting to live in another life. If I had disability I''d fuck with the idea, but it always came to whores in the end, because I''m a twisted fuck.


    What''s the point of all these stories?


    - I don''t fucking know go out and ask them instead of leaving shit on their stories.


    Do I enjoy reading it?


    - Do you enjoy smelling shit?


    Would I enjoy living inside of it?


    - Would you enjoy being alone with 0 social skill and being homeless unless you were a stalker and prepared your life before entering the fucking story, then I recommend to not give up your own life and comfort, just to be thrilled by the thought of jumping in front of a bus to meet a whore god who has simpthy for your intentions to go on a little journey and fuck your waifus.


    What could be so interesting for someone who was like me to be in a place this?


    I would say nothing. Like a good Samaritan it is better to have walk-throughs in your life before you go on and start living it.


    And for someone like me who has died more than the average protagonists of those shit stories I read.


    I can honestly tell you with all my heart.


    Please don''t fucking kill yourself to be inside of a fan-fiction.


    Write your own shit and not jump ship for a story written by someone else. It will save you a lot of stress and you can write yourself an abandon house with a little maid and a little dog, and code the [ Infinitely loyal to dead-man.] And after adding the restriction code and advocating prejudice and discrimination to all outsiders who have not died in your story.


    You will be eternally blessed for being the only son of a bitch who has died in your world with a lovely maid, and a annoying dog in your little home in the woods somewhere.


    I believe something like that was far better than reliving in the world of Solo-Leveling.


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    I began to see why most of the authors always dropped their stories, I too could lose my mind in this.


    . . .


    [ You have transferred.]


    The things I find odd about my transfers were the thoughts that locked me up from living a life others could have lived in my place.


    A new life seemed foreign and alien. I could imagine something similar, but to live there with my memories and my condition. I wouldn''t know if it were possible.


    A No-Life was more than just a shut in.


    We were indifferent to humanity as a whole.


    When I was a No-Life.


    I never saw my lack of connection with people as something to be replaced. No man or god could move me to the point I would risk my own safety and comfort for something that could always be out my control.


    In fact the very thought that others who would risk and lose it all just to live a different life are people who were thrill seeking or someone who needed that miracle.


    I could sympathize.


    There was also a time where I wanted to live a little more, but those days were just a memory.


    [ You have lived this life path: 03 ]


    [ New additions have been added to your modification system.]


    ~+~


    [ ] Al


    [ LP: 8000 ]


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E ]


    [ Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly ]


    > Sacrificial Devils Passive: Sever souls to convert them into Black Souls.


    > [ Hidden effect- Alter Reality: The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.] [ Imitated ability: The Seal Of Orichalcos.]


    [ Millennial Item: Fragment Of The Fading Light.]


    > [ Passive Effect- Phantom Memory. The ability to evoke faded memories into holographic projections, but fades faster as time passes.]


    > [ Altered Effect- I don''t want to destroy life. Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make. They will seek out and alter imperfections.]


    [ + 4 Black Souls ]


    I covered up my sweaty palms as the atmosphere began to resemble an alarm clocked into my memory.


    The hunters or blood drips quartered up in the middle of the room, before the cruel lord.


    I brushed away the system the moment the reflection of the previous scene began to resume.


    I saw a slight flicker from the cruel lords eye.


    Apart of my mind felt hollow because the memories of hunters being killed in front of me through out these past lives. They might have not experienced it yet, but I live with them in those terrible bad ends as a suicidal canon fodder.


    If there were any cruel lord in this world, then it was certainly not the stone figure sitting aloof waiting to enact a red ritual that could wipe us out.


    I was sure the real devil was the very twisted being who always made me remember how they died.


    And the best medicine to fix that was surely the comfort of a beautiful woman by my side, but she was far away with the others.


    I followed my sense to where she could be, Miss Healer looked oblivious to the Genocide that could happen in any second and of course she was right by his side.


    Jin-woo with the hunters surrounded the statue holding onto the stone tablet. I thought it was far too late to consider any one of them to be alive, but I was the only one who had yet to move away from the door and I believed It was far too late for me to return alive.


    [ Do not move.]


    [ You will die.]


    On my left stood the gate to the outside world, and in front of me.


    A weapon of mass destruction. I could feel another from behind and so I just stood in place without shifting or moving.


    It was intense to stand alone as I did not really want to die yet and this feeling of standing in place made me uncomfortable.


    I heard a loud commotion from the hunters.


    I could not hear the words, but someone shouted about leaving this place. I thought it was just out of ignorance that he believed he had a choice to make such a decision, but only I knew we had no freedom in this place.


    One of them started approaching me.


    A tall man, A really tall man who was built like a jacked gorilla in a white jacket and white trousers, like a buffed panda.


    I thought I could try and remember who he was, but like the rest of hunters, I did not bother to remember the faces of people who never made it past the double-dungeon.


    "¡­" We looked at each-other.


    I tried to smile, but this person only gave of a negative energy and it did not help when he just might set off a death signal and awaken these statues. It was an uneasy feeling when I slowly began to remember why he was here.


    " Is there something wrong?" I asked him.


    " Move aside."


    " Move aside?"


    I thought about it, but the image of the statue chopping off a head evoked the memory of some people I did not pay attention to before.


    He was one of them.


    " Oh¡­" I looked at the gate.


    He did not know it, but I felt like he wanted to kill the both of us.


    " Well, that will be quite a heavy request." I laugh it off, but he rudely glared at me as if I was the bastard who murdered his dog.


    " Get out of my way." He growled impatiently.


    " N-no." I said. I glared back with the same intent to match his presence. It was sickening of how annoying people could be if they really got up in your face and I was not someone who was very good at physical confrontations.


    So I shut my mouth when I heard that stutter.


    I knew I was a good speaker, but there was a difference between writing and speaking, I was more experienced with writing, but when speaking words.


    It was very easy to lose in that kind of battle.


    I needed a character, an image, and a good environment. I glared at the panda as I remembered hearing that stutter and I felt angry that he did not know what he was asking could kill the both of us.


    I raised a hand over my eyes and spoke cautiously about the words I wanted to say, but trying to control my voice was a bit difficult.


    " Would you like to make a deal with a Devil?" I wanted to really shatter my index finger after I said it.


    Something about the words I chose caught his complete attention. He only looked at me in silence and I felt compelled to speak more, talk more, project more¡­


    This was the euphoria of being something you could never be. So I let everything slip and I spouted nonsense using my memories of this world and my world together into an image of someone who could help this clueless idiot see the way of a good life.


    " You want to go? " I shook my head in retaliation to his ideal.


    " You would need to kill everyone in this room to go. " It was an empty threat. A threat made up of my memories and reality of how things were meant to be in this place, but I opted for some made up fan-fiction story I could not remember.


    The contents inside of that story was just the death of every life in the world being sacrificed to something... It really chilled my bones reading that specific part.


    That''s when something moved right next to us. My eyes caught the way the statues weapon left a mark from a place it was supposed to be and I looked up to it and then to the hunter who was already in a flight or fight mode.


    I just glared at the both of them.


    I ignored what just happened and continued speaking.


    As I saw him in fear. I imagined something different with an empty feeling, I imagined a false personification of what I assumed a Devil would do if it or he was in my position now.


    I thought about my time in this world. The lives I could have lived.


    My meaningless deaths and paralyzed life choices.


    As I thought about all the foolish actions I''ve committed. My mind could only ever remember those words that showed when I read through the system contents.


    Those empty words hidden underneath, Sacrificial Devil.


    [ Fated To Perish Wretchedly.]


    It vexed me more than anything to think that the reason for these suicidal actions could stem from a title.


    I felt the repeating deaths and the callous decisions to act immune to consequences was because of it and it disgusted me that such a title with the term Devil was just me dying aimlessly.


    So, I thought It would be better to try something different this time.


    A Devil¡­ I wondered what such a thing would be like if I just forgot myself and played a role.


    Like a mask. I decided to paint a different picture of myself.


    I called out to him.


    " Relax." I looked up to the statue.


    " It''s nothing more than a reaction. It happens with old rocks in dungeons." I reached out my index finger.


    " Hey, At least it hasn''t chopped off our heads right?" And so I began to laugh holding onto my stomach and he chuckled with those crazed eyes.


    " Ahahha¡ª" Poor man. Laughing, but on the verge of losing his mind.


    I didn''t think of him to be foolish, but I wasn''t sure if he understood the reason why I had not moved from this place or why he did not run like those mob-less blood drips who show up on trash dungeon stories just to prove a point, just to prove a grim reality.


    All I could think off was that he was someone who valued life more than I did.


    I offered out my hand to his fear.


    " You don''t need to worry so much."


    " Relax, It just moved right?" I tried to keep myself away from exposing his fragile condition.


    " We just need to think of something good and the feeling will just fade..."


    I placed my hand on my chest.


    " Tell me friend, Do I look afraid to you?" His breathing slowed and the man closed his eyes and tried to compose himself.


    " Good." I looked up to the statue. I felt the momentum and wanted to push forward my own ideals into this person.


    [ A hunter listens to your devilish words.]


    And the moment system notification appeared it felt like a switched was turned on and all the toxins of a drug called Luciferium just washed over me.


    [ Paint a picture of what you wished you looked like.]


    A dark and empty feeling took over. I wasn''t sure what it was, but upon reading those words.


    Something wanted me to just let go.


    "I like that about humans." I noted the way he was so quick to listen to me.


    " I like when you show what I want." I noted how he showed me something without me having to wait for it happen.


    " That tells me you show respect." I pretended to feel honored about it, but I drew my finger and pointed to him.


    " I like that."


    I raised out my hands.


    " Let''s forget about the big man for a moment and the other guy too." I pointed behind me.


    " Forget about escaping." I tried to lure him into something. I didn''t know what it was, but my mind was just working.


    " We are alone right now." Those words terrified me, because I wished I had not seen the look on his face.


    In one moment. He ignored everything around as I said.


    It caught me by surprise, but I kept talking and so I started my next words about a dream.


    " I had a dream¡­"


    A dream where everyone suffocated underneath their bloods, all piled up with their blood leaking to one side of the room.


    I had a dream that only a few people had made it out alive and they continued to exist as if everyone who died meant nothing to them.


    I told him of a dream where they were forgotten and all life will die, I told him of my dream of him being forgotten, because something more terrifying than what he died happened in this future he was no longer apart of.


    I told him many things about this worlds future and I told him how Seoul was set on fire and every person who was not a hunter.


    Perished Wretchedly because of it and he stood there in silence just looking down at me.


    "You are spouting¡­ Nonsense!" He roared.


    I wiped off the spit that clung onto my face and flicked it to the floor and cleaning my hands I politely answered his confusion.


    I waited in silence watching his unusual tantrum.


    " Yes¡ª That is true." I mused and thought about his words and thought about the dream.


    This was a dream.


    " Dreams have no meaning." I looked to the floor where I imagined a dead man who was split right through the middle and a little boy who found himself locked inside of a dream, and that little boy who kept dying at the thought of it.


    I thought about it. He may have seen what I saw. I just felt it the moment his eyes lingered for too long on the floor.


    I was sure off it.


    " You freak! Stop¡ª" He must have seen it too.


    " Fooling around?" I assumed his final words. I was feeling an intense disgust in my mind and I could not look away. I felt malice for the tall man.


    " We don''t have such freedoms." There was a dark presence leaking from my chest as I began to understand that I was completely offended by those empty words of his.


    He was nothing more than a dream.


    [ Your heart, Your mind has been altered.]


    [ Sacrificial Devil has manifested.]


    [ You have received an ability.]


    [ Tragedian, When you project yourself as the Sacrificial Devil. Your words can''t be negated.]


    I looked down to the floor and felt my mind go through a twisted change.


    In some strange ways the bodies of the people suddenly faded from the floors. I heard foot steps approaching and the knocks on the floor as something was being dragged behind me.


    I payed attention to the sounds, but the terror in his eyes as I pulled my hand away. It frightened me to see someone who was there, but you can just tell by the unfocused gaze that his mind was enthralled by something truly terrifying.


    Something that made you curious about, but never wanted to see.


    I was not in his focus, but he was in mine.


    His eyes wide open with his teeth clattering and he shook.


    " Please¡­ stop it¡­"


    " Don''t hurt them¡­."


    " She didn''t do it."


    " Please¡­. I will do anything you say¡­" He dropped on his knees and I just stared as someone as large as a gorilla was pleading for me to spare someone who did not exist in this place.


    " Please!!!"


    I looked behind me. There was nothing. But the statue and him then I looked to the other direction, nothing was insight.


    I could not see it, but I heard what he saw, that strange sound of someone walking in water, but I pictured it as blood and that feeling of your mind losing sanity.


    In just one moment I could no longer see the hunter there in front of me.


    But something living had replaced him, something alive, without a face, something stripped off all its skin with knife wounds carved in many different places over exposed muscles.


    He kneeled in pain looking at me unaware of the blood forming underneath him.


    I pretended that I could not see it as I looked in his eyes.


    I heard the screams of children fading behind me.


    " Please¡­ stop¡­." He pleaded.


    '' Please stop hurting him! Please!''


    I gripped my heart as I could feel an ounce of his pain.


    " What do you see?" I asked.


    He did not answer.


    I could only assume that everything he saw was related to the system so I did not say anything.


    I continued acting out the skin I wore.


    " What-ever you see will happen." I told him.


    Words showed in my mind and I recited it all even if it went against my conscience, I drowned out my voice above the scream of someone roared pain.


    I looked at him as the sound distorted into voices of ghostly screams and shouts that came from a place of extreme pain.


    His eyes and his energy made me feel as if they were siphoned from him. He was so focused in staring at something that wasn''t me.


    He reached out as I saw his hand and his head hanging lowly.


    Then a child screamed, but something loud cut of her voice and she whimpered. Since It was close I thought something choked it after cutting her screams off.


    I heard something fall to the ground.


    Like the sound of marble rolling over a wooden floor.


    I followed it.


    His eyes looked down to my feet as if something rolled there and then reached him.


    I watched as those bleedings hands of his reached out to hold air.


    Unable to speak any words. He retreated those hands and covered his face.


    "¡­" I could not see what he saw, but something in my mind made up for the lack of vision.


    " She was someone special to you, wasn''t she?" Those cruel words only made him tremble with a dark laughter escaping him.


    " Shut up¡ª" His eyes were that of someone who could not see me anymore.


    " I said shut up!" He roared to his side.


    I felt the presence of another person being pulled in the same spot she was just before.


    I raised out my hand to stop it.


    Tears of blood spilled from his disfigured face.


    I looked down to the floor near his feet. I saw a pale face with hair wrapped around it.


    " If I hadn''t met you! If I never met you!" He roared and started to recite things I did not understand.


    Things of being outside this dungeon.


    Things of following a plan.


    He was speaking as if he were not in this place, but somewhere outside and then he began to realize what he had said.


    " I''m sorry! I''m sorry!" Without hesitation. He ruthlessly crushed his head into the floor.


    " It''s just a dream." I replied to his violence.


    I raised a hand to my heart.


    " It''s just an Illusion." This dream was becoming a little to much for someone like me to bear. I could feel if he continued.


    He may kill himself by madness.


    I thought pretending to play Devil who offered people gifts and abilities in exchange for something in return like his soul was an ideal way of killing time.


    This was just an ugly scene that killed it really quickly.


    I was too busy keeping my distance from him that making any sudden movements would just change something in me.


    I could hear voices from the other side, but I chose to ignore it.


    " An illusion...?" He sounded confused.


    " You used magic¡­ on me?" I did not know how I could respond to it. I did do something, but I wasn''t sure if it was magic.


    " You mages and all your terrible lies¡­." He pulled himself up weakly unable to stand straight without falling to one side.


    " Please stop." I repeated his words. He refused to stop standing. The blood on the floor was already strong enough to reach the tip of my boots.


    " I will kill you! I will kill you¡ª"


    "¡­"


    I raised my hand and a woman screamed behind me. I could not understand her distorted words, but I felt her presence slowly being pushed by my side.


    I thought of a different way of dying, something that could make a mad man pause forget his madness.


    I gripped my fist tight and lowered it.


    I imagined myself to have been in that place that drove him mad, and I hung her by the neck with something strong and invisible men pushed her forward.


    I started pulling onto something, a rope that will take her higher and higher to a place I could no longer see.


    I ignored her physical traumas and suffocation as she went up, it was to the point where I felt the pressure from the rope suddenly snap in two.


    His eyes followed it.


    The quick shadow falling down and then crushing into the floor, her body was not find and her neck seemed to be missing something important.


    I imagined what it was like to stand facing the execution of something or someone you loved.


    If I were in his shoes. I wonder if I would be able to do it.


    To remain sane enough to see it all happen.


    He was stronger more stronger than I could ever be.


    "¡­" He lowered his head without a sound.


    " I''m sorry."


    " I really am sorry for all of it." Apart me wanted to spare him from the cruelty, but my heart did not feel like the words I had said. I could not feel it, for what I had done, even if it was just a dream or an illusion.


    The reactions he showed it was far too much.


    A Devil was a being who brought absolute chaos or change.


    I felt exhausted by it and it pained my heart to understand how much I lacked in being this presumed Devil I had no knowledge off.


    I did not have it in me to play the role effectively. I wasn''t callous enough, I was not experienced enough and I was not born or used to wickedness.


    [ Fated To Perish Wretchedly.]


    Regardless of my emotions and feelings.


    This will all be a memory to them and I will be among the corpse who will be buried soon.


    [ You have learned a new life path.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    I turned around and faced the large gate.


    '' Al why are you so interested in Devils?''


    ''¡­''


    '' I saw it in your browsing history again.''


    ''¡­ Oh shit!''


    '' Al¡­''


    '' I-I just, I''m curious okay!''


    '' There is nothing wrong with exploring things on your own.''


    '' And I have to know things or I will go crazy!''


    ''¡­''


    '' Don''t you think it''s strange?''


    '' Why do people think they are so important?''


    '' What do you mean¡­?''


    '' There is always these strange people who keep going on and on about selling their


    souls to a Devil or a Spirit of Negation.''


    '' But I can''t ever see someone as powerful as that ever paying attention to people like them, they are just humans!''


    '' Just. Humans.''


    '' Al¡­''


    '' Not only have I been ignoring your pornography and your addiction to poor writing!''


    '' But this is too far!''


    '' What? I was honest this time.''


    '' It''s just¡­ It really frustrates me when someone expects something to give them what they want and without anything! As if they were that special! So what if you have a soul! It means nothing!''


    ''¡­''


    '' It''s frustrating ok. Nothing I want will ever happen and I really hate it when people make up bull-shit like this and act all nonchalant as if it was something special!''


    ''¡­''


    '' Sorry¡­''


    ''¡­''


    '' I spoke too much again.''


    '' That''s okay. I love it when my brother tells me everything.''


    '' How else would I know anything about you when you always keep quiet in that head all day.''


    '' You know I love you right?¡ª-''


    ''¡ª Al?''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I looked above to where I imagined something raining down on me . I brushed away the imagination from my eyes and looked down to the handle of the door.


    I turned around to the man who appeared on edge to my close proximity to it and as if he couldn''t stand being next to the statue.


    I smiled at his small action. He no longer looked like the corpse, but his head was badly bruised.


    "¡­" I looked down to the body and the head, things that weren''t really there.


    " All this, everything and everyone." I spoke loud just for him to hear my voice.


    I gestured to the floor and to them as I turned my attention to the gate.


    " You can think of this an illusion or a dream." I said and I looked at circle door handle.


    " None of it really matters."


    A dream I can''t escape from no matter what I do.


    It felt as if I was only able to stay here.


    " Again. I''m sorry for what had happened."


    " If you manage to survive all the ordeals I have told you about my dream, then this will all be just an illusion¡ª-"


    "¡ª but if you are unable to leave this place everything you saw. I promise something far worse than killing them will not be enough¡ª-"


    I thought that the execution of imaginations were nothing compared to the real thing.


    One day all the world will end on the day of the Monarchs.


    So I just smiled as I tried to see someone far away from us over my shoulder.


    " Regardless of your consent. You have willingly made a deal with a Sacrificial Devil."


    I gestured a hand sign of peace for that contract.


    " If you die your soul will be mine and everything you are will be erased from all realities, because that is my will, I''m a Devil."


    I focused my attention on the door for the last time.


    " If you do make it out¡­"


    " Could you do me a favor?"


    " There is a girl I really like, but she does not know who I am."


    " Could you send her my regards." I know I hadn''t done anything good to him, but I was a sick person who could commit harm on someone and go on to remain friendly.


    So I did not really care whether he did or not, this was nothing more than a selfish projections of a suicidal man.


    " I really love Miss Healer."


    " Again I will apologize to you and those girls." I envied him.


    " Know that I only had the best intentions in mind, One day let''s meet on the other side of this gate. Mr Panda."


    " And don''t pay so much attention to the things you can''t see in-front of you."


    " So Don''t give up¡ª-"


    "¡ª-Choose life."


    I placed my hand on the door handles and I just breathe in as I began to set my dream in motion.


    '' Al I was wondering. Why do you only read stories with¡ª''


    ''¡ª-Harem.''


    '' Do you mean Isekai?''


    '' Yeah.''


    '' I don''t know¡­''


    '' I think it''s because I hope something could happen.''


    '' What do you want to happen?''


    ''¡­ I wish I could remember.''


    '' Well, Let me ask one more question.''


    ''¡­''


    '' If one wish could be granted and I mean any wish.''


    '' What would you wish for.''


    '' I''d wish you were able to live a better life than mine.''


    '' It''s because I''m a cripple huh?''


    '' He¡ªhee¡ª Definitely not because you''re a cripple.''


    ''¡­ Al¡­ You bastard.''


    '' It''s because you told me you loved me.''


    ''¡­''


    '' I''d wish just that for you.''


    ''¡­''


    '' I''d wish for you to live more than I could.''


    ''¡­''


    '' I''m sorry for wasting both our lives¡ª-''


    ''¡ª-Sera.''


    " Stop!! Don''t put your hands on the handle!!" The sound of steel grinding harshly against the floor and an ominous noise of a whistle sharply increasing in volume.


    I only smiled at the kind memories I had left of the last person I cared for.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    - YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED.


    [ + You have gained a Black Soul.]


    ~+~


    [ ] Al


    [ LP: 8000 ]


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E ]


    [ Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly ]


    > Sacrificial Devils Passive: Sever souls to convert them into Black Souls.


    > [ Hidden effect- Alter Reality: The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.] [ Imitated ability: The Seal Of Orichalcos.]


    > [ Activated effect- Tragedian, When you project yourself as the Sacrificial Devil. Your words can''t be negated.][ Altered Effect- As a Sacrificial devil you unconsciously project tragic endings onto life.]


    [ Millennial Item: Fragment Of The Fading Light.]


    > [ Passive Effect- Phantom Memory. The ability to evoke faded memories into holographic projections, but fades faster as time passes.]


    > [ Altered Effect- I don''t want to destroy life. Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make. They will seek out and alter imperfections.]


    [ + 5 Black Souls ]

 CH 5: A part of me is dead and in the ground PT 1

    ¡ª


    ¡ª


    ¡ª


    Beep.


    Beep.


    It gripped me.


    When I could hear the sound of morphine alarms.


    I had it ingrained in my mind that when it came. Someone would stand up and turn it off.


    I watched them as they made their way to the machine and flicked it off like a jaded salesman.


    I watched them go back again without emotions expecting it too flare out of tune.


    In a sense I found the entire process of their uncomfortable work to be therapeutic.


    After all these pointless suicides. I was glad to be in a place that resembled things similar to the activities I know.


    A place where normal people lived and worked and no-one had to go out and hunt gates.


    A kind and boring life, but I felt that just staring at them made me wonder if I were really on the verge of losing my mind.


    [ You have been drawn in to the past.]


    It was hard to understand what exactly was enjoyable about returning to the past again.


    I remember only demons here.


    There were those stories of cultivations and how they''d go back and train harder and be stronger and have the pretty cousin or a beautiful aunty always by their side, but I had a very bad lower back and I was always hungry.


    I almost had no money, because I refused to work for almost anyone. I had talents¡­ but they were overshadowed by my slothful nature.


    Which is why I could never truly immerse myself in the thought of what it would be like to time travel, but I enjoyed reading when someone else did it for me.


    It was interesting to see what someone could do with such a miracle, but to do it just to stop a monarch invasion.


    It sounded like the right thing to do¡­ but I couldn''t careless for what happens to me or my body even if the whole world was enslaved by a powerful country.


    I would be satisfied for as long as I could live the way I want to live.


    Then this body doesn''t matter to me at all.


    If you were transfered into another life.


    What would you do?


    That thought always crossed my mind and all I could think about was.


    I wish to just live a little more, because I did not know what I wanted.


    It was sad.


    All I had ever thought about when I was in the dungeon was the million ways I could die and how I would go on and live again, but different.


    Which is why the thought I had when I saw the icu room and how it appeared to be very familiar to the place I had visited 7 years ago.


    I just felt a little dead inside seeing that.


    Why would anyone wish to time travel to a time where someone you love will pass away at any given moment and live it all over again.


    I didn''t expect to holding onto an arrangement of visiting flowers again.


    On a card written by my terrible hand writing.


    The initials I had written a few hours before I went to the hospital to see Sera.


    [ For Sera, Love Al. Dolly]


    In front I could see her in deep sleep unaware of the tubes in her arms.


    Sleeping so peacefully, but breathing in an uncomfortable way.


    It pained me to know it was the cause of her pain killers.


    I remembered the screams she had before I took her here, those were the worst moments I had ever lived, far more exhausting than suicide.


    The machine flared again and I reached out to a nurse who had been checking her vitals. She smiled and stepped forward after I called out to her.


    " You''re awake? Good evening." She said.


    " Good morning." I stared out the windows, from the cracks of the curtains it was quite dark, but my sense of time had always been that way.


    Grey clouds meant morning to me.


    I smiled at the woman, but I did not know what to say to her.


    The words were there, but so suddenly it left my mind.


    " I just wanted to thank you for what you had done yesterday." She said.


    " Yesterday?"


    " Yeah, My body feels much better." She flexed and rolled her shoulders together and then I watched her walk out of the room.


    I looked down trying to remember what she meant by that.


    One of Seras hands hung over the rail of her bed.


    I walked by her side and I held onto her hand because it was the only comfort I remembered doing after a very exhausting day, because I stayed up all night.


    Holding onto her cold hand.


    Felt like heaven to me.


    Then a hologram appeared before me.


    [Error.]


    [ Your transfer in the solo leveling time-line has been delayed.]


    [ You have been transfered into a past life.]


    [ All stats, titles and abilities and modification influences will be disabled during this period.]


    [ You will be transferred to a different memory.]


    Then everything faded, sight, taste, all of my sense dulled and my vision blurred.


    "¡­"


    I stood in a waiting room in front of a desk.


    I thought I was high off my head when I saw sunlight bleed through the cracks of the window blinds.


    "¡­"


    I found myself standing before this beautiful girl with odd colored eyes.


    She stared at the direction that wasn''t me. I saw only air.


    I thought she was one of those wackos who were lost in their heads someone who seemed like me when I tried to imagine what smut looked like from a fan-fiction.


    But there was this dark and twisted fucking feeling in my mind that she resembled someone I knew.


    That''s was just how I looked at her when I saw her eyes and her dark colored hair.


    The more I stared the more uncomfortable I felt as the realization that she resembled that person I had a crush on 7 years ago.


    It was the first time I met someone dressed like an Italian hit man with the long black suit and she was just a receptionist.


    I didn''t know why a ICU needed one, but she was the first person everyone had to meet if they wanted to see their family.


    Maybe it was because I was sexually deprived or It was that high going through my head when you see someone else act all confident because they are drawn into the past, but I wanted to buy a gun and just shoot my heart for thinking about this girl who left me.


    For thinking that maybe this time I will get it right.


    It was painful to see someone who was once your friend, right in front of you.


    But with all that had happened, most of the memories I can not remember since it wasn''t so important to me.


    I leaned over the desk and imitated the way she looked at my side.


    I stared at her invisible friend.


    The colored lenses, the theatric mafioso look she had going on.


    A name ran through my head.


    Dolly.


    I didn''t know how I should feel.


    The things with my sister and to see an old flame again. I felt stress.


    I get why most people always desired to go back right to the start.


    It really hits you that even after you lose someone.


    You are still fond of the memories you had with those people even if that person may have hurt you.


    "¡­"


    All my attention was ripped apart when I saw her look at me.


    " Hi¡­" I said.


    " You never learn."


    I felt cold when I heard the tone of her voice and the way she did not want to look at me straight.


    For someone who doesn''t always talk to people.


    It was just that familiar memory I had with her that I started to understand why real life was not for me.


    It was like loading into a save point where you thought you had started over before you went and did all the horrible things you could ever do in a dating sim, but loaded after the bad end with the villaness.


    At least that''s how I always thought about my relationship with Dolly.


    All it took was one decision and everything was just a tragic ending that never ended.


    I didn''t know how else to explain that look she gave me.


    I might I have done something that fked her over in the past, but for the life of me I don''t know what it was.


    All I know is something happen and things got uncomfortable and things just stopped between us.


    I didn''t know it was just so bad too the point that she just didn''t want to be in front of me.


    Memories they really did hide the reality of the world you lived in.


    " Have you gone insane Al?"


    She gave me this weird look.


    " You''re staring at them."


    " I''m paying attention to your eyes now."


    " You''re fondling my breast and raping me in your head again that''s what you only think about."


    " How does that make you feel?"


    " Exhausted." I answered as I thought over my whole life.


    If I could just be a bit normal, then maybe I would have never thought in such a way, but although I did go through times where I fantasized about what it was like being inside of her.


    Rape¡­ That just didn''t sit quite well with me.


    " Handling a beautiful girl like me makes you exhausted?" She looked disgusted.


    "Yes¡­ It''s very troublesome to imagine with all the vomiting, bruises and stench." I went along with her words, but she was so surprised at how I just spoke about it, but I detailed one of those dead people I saw in the dungeon and how he looked after being murdered by a sword.


    " Holy fuck Al, I was talking about you staring at my boobs not your weird dead shit again."


    It really got to me how I don''t quite remember how close I was to her.


    7 years may sound like a long time, but I was one of those sick twisted fucks with a distorted time sense, the problem was not the time, but the lack of everything not being so important to you.


    You don''t really focus much on the details like others, for something so little about people knowing you so well.


    I was just blind to it all.


    I lived the rest of my life having no-one around me and I was far from everyone.


    I guess it really hit me in that moment.


    " You know me so well. That''s weird." I said.


    Dolly just looked at me.


    " So you still do it?" Watching people die. I wonder if the people who died in the double dungeon would count.


    " Do you still watch those kind of stuff?" She said it uncomfortably.


    I wasn''t sure how I should answer.


    I knew I should had at least said the right thing and told her what anyone who looked out for you wanted to hear '' No I''ve changed.'' but did it really matter?


    They were just dead people after all and I don''t remember their faces.


    I looked at the time on the clock and I just wanted to get out of speaking about it.


    It sounded like a big deal to her. I just couldn''t feel anything about it.


    Those memories were with me a lot longer than our friendship so I just smiled.


    " I''m here to see a patient."


    " Could you please help me?" I asked.


    The look in her expression just dulled a little after I ignored her question.


    She had to really look at me as if she couldn''t understand the person in front of her.


    That look as if you are seeing something different.


    Her fingers blurred across the keyboard, but I thought she wanted to say more.


    A lot of flashes and her opening applications one after the other.


    " Whats your name?" She asked, but then she cut herself off.


    " Al."


    " I know."


    I got this sudden sense that people who work in fast food restaurants placed in more enthusiasm when speaking to you and those who know you.


    At least they showed you openly how much they hate you while working. That''s if you fucked them over.


    This rapist-thinking-bitch emitted this energy as if she was pondering murdering me.


    She looked exhausted behind the computer and then she looked to a person on the other side of the desk.


    " You''ve been busy today?" I asked unsure how to go through a conversation she shook her head.


    " It''s been a tough day. Like what always happens." She went on with her work trying ignoring me.


    She tried too, but I was apart of her job, her customer.


    " You''re very pretty when you look troubled."


    She glanced at me from the side.


    " Don''t do that."


    She had to stop typing to say it clearly.


    " You don''t mean a word you say."


    Girls, real life ones were exhausting, but Dolly was something else.


    Miss Healer was an angel compared to this callous-vixen-rapist-thinking-not-accepting-compliments ... bitch, but I didn''t know what a bitch meant although I said it a lot.


    I was used to the terms that people used, people who once surrounded me used it. It just stuck with me since high school.


    I didn''t believe Dolly was a real bitch.


    " I get it." I thought the worst part about being back in the past again was not remembering what really happened, but then there was this new addition called.


    Exhausting interactions.


    I knew I fucked up, but who''d want to return to this rude welcome?


    "¡­"


    I barely stared to the ground. I just thought that dying seemed much easier than speaking to and old friend while waiting to hear the death of your family.


    I''ve been through this all before and I was more tolerant to her because of the life I''ve lived.


    " You look like you have something on your mind." I asked.


    "¡­"


    She relaxed a little and placed her fingers over the keyboard.


    She looked me in the eye and said.


    " The person you wanted to see¡­"


    I didn''t really think much about her tone when she said those words, but that sense of realization that dawned on her face after I spoke.


    " Her name is Sera and she''s my little sister."


    " You''re her brother¡­?"


    I know I''ve lived this moment only once in my life, but to hear it again.


    It sounded quite foreign to me.


    " Yeah."


    She stared straight to the desk.


    The moment she mentioned her name that''s when all that energy I had seeing Dolly after long time.


    I was almost at the point where all of it just drained.


    I couldn''t stand the look she had been giving me for some time. I remembered a better one, one that was happier and didn''t look so defensive.


    I looked up to the security camera and the door for the waiting room where the doctors and nurses went to, to have a cup of coffee.


    I thought walking into that place and making myself a cup off it will ease this shitty atmosphere like how drugs just placed you in a new high.


    I wanted to get all fked up and wash the stress.


    It was really something I don''t want to remember.


    Dolly started with the name tags and I watched as she punctured my code through a tag.


    I reached out for the tag that was placed upon the desk.


    She wasn''t the worst of vibes. I was just bad company for a sociable individual holding onto a personal grudge.


    It was a hard work speaking to a receptionist who had a bad history with you.


    I tried to fight a way the heat coursing through my head. It made me sleepy.


    I looked to the seats where a little boy was staring up to us, barking in a high pitch voice.


    " He was doing that since the moment you walked in." She said.


    " ..."


    Dolly was extremely beautiful, by why was her personality so shit now.


    " Why do you always look at me like that Al?"


    " Like?"


    "..."


    " L-like you¡­" She didn''t know how to say and clicked her tongue.


    " Like you want me." I couldn''t hear a word she said after that all I thought was how she would mention something about rape, but she looked strangely at me.


    " Al what happened to us?" There was this way her eyes aimed at me accusing me as if I had the answer to it.


    I smiled like I had always done to something I don''t understand.


    " I don''t remember." Earlier in my life I was haunted by the thought I would always lose those around me, because I saw many people die on the news and people will speak about death on the weekly.


    It happened a lot in the small town I lived in. Tourists will come over and they would just die in many different ways, but it was a luxurious place.


    The deaths that happened was always made by someone who was excited and did not follow the laws off this place.


    I became too used to the idea I might always be on my own eventually that the fear of no longer having people by my side faded with every passing year, and every fading life.


    I found replacement for people in the form of distractions so when I heard those words.


    I felt nothing, for all the years of living on my own.


    It almost felt like it was just yesterday to me.


    Like the ruthless passing of time never existed and I was the same as I was 7 years ago.


    Drawn into the past again, but I didn''t feel like I came from the future.


    There was just this thin thread that told me.


    This world is not your home.


    That was the only thing stopping me from just immersing myself.


    I didn''t want to fake being someone who I could no longer remember.


    Which is why I treated Dolly the way I had 7 years in the future.


    We were just¡­ ghosts and strangers in a different time.


    I raised my voice and smiled.


    " It''s so good to see you too."


    I walked to an area near the reception desk and extended my hand through a open hole in the glass window.


    "..." I punctured my finger through a scanner that processed fingerprints or family id''s and the light flickered green.


    Dolly was busy signing through a list of paperwork.


    I knew our time for conversations ended after she had asked that odd question.


    After what I had said.


    I had a strong feeling that''s what made things awkward.


    "¡­"


    The moment I saw the the tip of her pen reach the edge of the paper sheet.


    I made the decision to leave.


    I walked to the seats and I noticed the boy who barked to an older man who speaking to him.


    I made myself some water at the water machine right next the two.


    As I filled the cup, a short vision of blood filling the glass emerged in my memories.


    The entire cup was filled with the blood of a person who I don''t remember.


    I waited for that memory to subside, but I waited a little longer to make sure It wouldn''t show up again and I drank up.


    "¡­"


    Then I thought about the conversation I had with Dolly on how I watched people die.


    If she knew the things I''ve done then I don''t think she would have looked at me the same.


    It really hit me that I was back in time.


    I just remembering sitting down and ignoring everyone because of the bad news with Sera.


    The kid and his father. They spoke to me because I appeared to be having a very bad time, but this time the man just looked at me with those same concerned eyes, but he didn''t approach me like he had done before.


    I approached them with a smile.


    " Ciaosu~" I signaled a sign of peace.


    Then I heard the boy bark with this big smile on his face and he ran around me.


    Because I did not remember his name.


    I mused through my memories of being in this place.


    I think of a young boy with a splinter straight through his pinky and there a terrible infected hole over the joint of his thumb.


    It wasn''t so bad as I remembered. Time seem to have healed a small bit of the infection.


    His right had was bandaged and he looked lively compared to how I remembered.


    This was a lot better.


    Sometimes it was good to see a person smile.


    It made me want to smile too, but the taste of blood in the back of my throat spoiled the mood at least the memory off it made me remember.


    The little boy looked up to me and barked with this strange gleam of curiosity in his eyes.


    " How are you doing Pinky."


    I reached out and shook his small hand.


    Arf¡ª Arf¡ª


    His father spoke for him. A bearded man who wore circular glasses.


    " He''s doing better." He smiled holding his son.


    He looked worried about something.


    " Have you been¡­ well?"


    I had this feeling it had to do with something I don''t remember.


    " Better." I said.


    " Better is good¡­" but there was something on his mind.


    He had this intelligent look in his eyes when he thought deeply about something.


    He wasn''t old, but I felt like he was always observing everything around him.


    It was always the eyes he looked at and then there actions. I wonder why he did that.


    Someone who met him would think he was someone important, maybe his clothing made him seem that way, but he was just almost like any parent who walked here.


    Unfocused eyes and dark circles underneath them.


    He had the aura around of someone who had seen a lot of shit, but the icu had a way with messing with your mental.


    It made him look unhealthy and sick.


    I don''t remember ever seeing them again. This might have been my last time I spoke with them in my life.


    " What have you been doing since the last time we met?" He asked.


    Telling him about being a No-life, suicidal dumbass and a highly unsociable person did not sit well with me.


    It sounded like a terrible resume giving to a job location of all the things that turned reunions into a sob fest.


    How I was would and my history would be the last thing I would ever say about myself.


    So I spoke as if I was only speaking to myself.


    " I got rejected by the receptionist."


    He looked at her and then to me with a slight smile on his face.


    He didn''t seem to believe it, but he waited and listened to the rest I had to say.


    " She''s a nice girl." He replied.


    " N-nice? I don''t think we are speaking about the same devil here." I think of what could have been nice about Dolly.


    Not a single thing went through my mind at the potential she could ever be a good person.


    I looked to the witch who would stare back from behind her desk, but then I thought about it properly.


    Her body and her beauty¡­


    No, nothing could alter the things I knew about her.


    " I believe. I have terrible luck when it comes to beautiful people." I laughed about the irony that It might have always been that way.


    From all my memories whether it be a friend or someone I liked. I seemed to always fuck up all the good I had going because of my '' personality.''


    But courting girls from visual novels was different I always seemed to have a harem of goddesses by my side, it''s just real life that made it difficult.


    All it took was one thing to happen and everything went wicked fast.


    " Do you have any advice to spare when it comes to being normal?" I always wondered if the reason things were like this was because I did not do the things others did.


    Like dedicating your hours of your life to labor or knowing how to drive.


    At the end of all my thoughts I just found myself flicking Dolly off with the middle finger for glaring at me for too long.


    Mr Pinky seemed amused between our interactions when she retaliated in the same way.


    I saw how he touched his sons head after the crude sign language we shared.


    I looked at Pinky then I asked his father.


    " What is it like being a father." I was very curious about it.


    "¡­" I could never see myself having a kid, the crazy things that go in my mind just won''t allow me to live in a stable way.


    What kind of human being would I be if I went on to have a kid and decided to just end my life on a whim.


    It was a sad thing to think about, but I was very afraid at the thought of having kids despite always being interested in acts of sex, like pornwha.


    It was like I had a lot of sins and if I had a kid they would just be surrounded by them, but I was most afraid of something else killing them.


    I''ve seen it happen before on many occasions in my life.


    " Actually don''t answer that." I told him.


    I was just talking to myself again.


    I had this eternal image of Sera sleeping in that hospital bed.


    " Yeah. I don''t ever think I could be a father." There was a period of time I imagined being with Dolly.


    A job, a house, my own piece of land even if it took years reaching that dream.


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    I imagined myself being happy, but I had different dreams too¡­ I was a drug dealer who made billions of the lives of those who died, a dictator who ruled an unknown country, and someone who ran execution sites internationally for a callous deity.


    It was the dreams. They changed all the good I thought was left in me and added something else there.


    I had and unnatural obsession with the world I can''t unsee.


    I developed dead eyes and uncomfortable view on life after being on my own for so long.


    " I think I''m losing my mind."


    " Talking about losing your mind is not normal."


    I looked at him.


    " It''s always been that way." Before I''d take some medications to help me think certain thoughts and feel certain things.


    I guess after this day. It was the starting point for it.


    " My sister..."


    She''s going to pass away.


    " Is she alright?"


    I wonder why my life could mean so little to me, but I felt angry knowing my sister will die.


    " The doctors. They are taking care of her." And she won''t make it.


    I never noticed how cold I spoke about the circumstances of my sister.


    It was as if I were trying to explain to someone about the meaningless deaths I went through in the dungeon.


    I picked certain details and kept certain details out of the explanation, because I knew it didn''t really matter to the person who heard.


    They weren''t me and they weren''t always there.


    Knowing she will never breathe again.


    Death should be a sad thing, but I believe something about it faded after going through the process of it more than once and seeing it happen.


    I didn''t want to learn I had become unfeeling to the passing of someone close to me.


    It almost felt like I had never lost anyone before.


    Mr Pinky showed how uncomfortable he was.


    I could see it from the way he just stared down in thought.


    Pinky intervened the awkwardness by cracking one of my fingers.


    I thought he was a very bright kid. He understood things very quickly and noticed the atmosphere I was in.


    I noticed Pinky staring up to the sky outside the picture framed window.


    I saw his eyes and how they were crying.


    I cleared them with his shirt because he didn''t seem to notice.


    I remembered a saying from a foreigner. He said something that in their culture one of the old stories his father spoke about was those with pure hearts would unconsciously imitate the emotions others were feeling.


    I might be sad, but I don''t feel it.


    " Stay strong." It was the only words he could say to me.


    " Always." I replied, then I heard a woman call out a name.


    " Al?" A short Asian woman stood by the door.


    I stood up from my seat.


    " Please follow me." She said.


    I turned to Mr Pinky.


    " It was nice venting to you again."


    " Again?" He laughed a little thinking I was telling a joke.


    " It has always been a pleasure to speak with you too, Al." I don''t believe you, but I smiled.


    " Son, say good bye."


    Pinky reached out with his small hands and gestured ''Hello'' instead of waving farewell.


    " S-see yo¡­ neex¡ª" I thought I imagined it from reading his lips. It was as if he were imitating the way we spoke but something always go in the way.


    I thought I saw him try to say ''See you next time''


    I wrapped my hand over his.


    " Bye-Bye."


    Then I walked away and waved good-bye to Pinky, who never stopped signaling ''Hello.''


    I walked slowly when I reached the reception desk. I had to sign in with my name, because I was visiting a patient, Dolly wasn''t sitting there.


    " Hey." I heard a voice and I turned to look behind me.


    There was a bouquet of flowers glaring at me.


    I looked at the person who held them.


    The witch Dolly stood in all her glory, the flowers made her outfit seem out of place.


    " How could you visit someone without giving them anything."


    " This is for Sera." She said.


    They looked just like the flowers I was holding onto before.


    White and red flowers.


    " Would it be rude if I just gave them back and just walked away from you right now?" I thought it would be funny, because it was different than accepting them like I had done before.


    She stared at me as if she wouldn''t have the thought of it happening.


    "¡­"


    She looked at the flowers in her hands and then gave it to me, rather she shoved it to my chest.


    " Yes. That would be rude."


    Then we saw a person standing the front of the desk.


    " I have to go. Work."


    I took the flowers.


    " Thank you." I heard her say. It was something I was going to say, but I left it at that and just walked away.


    I thought maybe I should have said a little more.


    A stranger had done the same the last time I visited this place.


    I mused through the potential options of someone giving me flowers or being there if I ended up here in this place.


    The thought of it seemed strange. To wake up in a hospital room.


    I couldn''t imagine it. If I ever thought of going out that way. It would mean I had done something wrong.


    I followed the woman who stood near a door at the exit of the waiting hall.


    "¡­"


    I followed her and I thought of the life I lived before all this.


    Sera''s funeral.


    Me watching everyone I know go away before it happened.


    It wasn''t all bad. Nothing really happened.


    My sister died and eventually I believed I did as well.


    If there was a hell for idleness I''m sure I was there dreaming off all the lives I could have lived.


    It had been 5 minutes since we left the waiting room.


    " So I was speaking with¡ª¡ª about¡ª¡ª sera¡ª¡ª"


    The woman had a way with talking on her own.


    She carried the entire conversation. I watched the rooms that belonged to people in the worst conditions.


    We passed almost 10 rooms by now. She mentioned how they were occupied but she didn''t belong in this section.


    "¡­" As I listened to her mumble about her life I would say things as if I were interested in what she had to say.


    I wasn''t in the mood with conversations when I knew we were getting closer to Sera.


    I forced myself to imitate a memorable character I had read about in a well written fan fiction just to make the conversation believable.


    It was about a voiceless man who had an addiction with conversing with other people.


    In his head, he thought he had a voice and he never realized he wasn''t saying anything.


    I ignored the things she mentioned about Sera, but she mentioned how concerned she was about the people who worked with Sera this morning.


    I remembered walking through this hall hoping for the day I''d return home with Sera and return back to the hospital check ups and not ICU visits.


    The old Al was angry with everyone, but I was standing on the edge of my mind.


    I approached the kind lady who guided me and tapped her shoulder.


    she turned around.


    " Yes Al?"


    " Do you think you think there will be a concern with the operation today?


    The look she gave wasn''t something I would like to see in someone who was taking care of my sister.


    She was worried about something and I had faint understanding it might have to do with telling them how to do their jobs.


    I understood that I did not spend my entire life for this job or worked and study hard hours to get here, but this was my fucking sister.


    Although I did not like her answer. I smiled.


    " It''s alright. I will ask the doctor when I see them."


    She smiled uncomfortably.


    " I''m sorry."


    It was all the same. The way she apologized was no different than I remembered.


    The conversation was different, but she reacted the same. It really vexed me thinking that maybe no matter how much I tried to alter things, the out come would always be the same.


    Maybe it was the way I looked, but she reacted differently.


    " I will tell them what you had said, but I can''t promise anything, I just work here."


    " We will try our best. If that means anything."


    " We will do what can to help Sera."


    When I heard those words.


    I found myself being enthralled by the bleak humor that all they could was just not enough, but she had a kind heart.


    I expected life to just destroy her intentions.


    Like it always had done for mine.


    " Thank you so much." I said, but the horrors I lived through that time was right behind those curtains.


    After years of being born a disable.


    The medicine they''ve been injecting into her arms.


    The way her body reacted violently because of it.


    "¡­"


    It was like watching the boy hanging by a coat hanger.


    If it were to happen to someone else in the world. I would not think so much.


    If it were to happen to me. I would desire for it to happen quickly.


    If it happened to someone close to me.


    I wouldn''t know how should I feel.


    For all the wicked shit this life had done to her.


    She deserved to live a little more than being here.


    '' Al¡­ I know you don''t like it when I cry, but can you stay with me?''


    '' Al¡­ You''re back. Come sing with me¡­''


    '' Al¡­ were you at work again?''


    '' Yeah.''


    '' Al!''


    '' Hold on Sera.''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    "¡­"


    I turned into a curtained room and the first thing that hit me was the sound of morphine alarms singing out of tune.


    ¡ª-


    I stared at my sister with tubes in her wrists and and a mask that assisted her to breathe uncomfortably.


    I watched the people on shift who sat down in their seats behind their computers and I leaned over the rail till my head rested against hers.


    She looked the same just different.


    " Hey¡­"


    " It''s Al."


    I checked her vitals and other numbers I could not understand.


    I had already came to terms with this a very long time ago so the emotions and things I wanted to say.


    I''ve done them.


    I just wanted to be with her with the time she had left.


    There was a saying I heard once. I was told she was just sleeping, but she could hear the things I said. Her eyes were closed, but she was awake.


    It must be terribly lonely being in a dark place in complete silence.


    So I spoke about my time in solo leveling.


    " You know you would never believe me on how beautiful Miss Healer was in person."


    " Long red hair and she had a devilish body, sexy and her eyes. They were blue."


    Not once had I mentioned about the moments I killed myself or about how I already lived this before.


    I tried to stay away from those thoughts, but I spoke about the things I heard in the future about people around me and the events that happened.


    Even if she wouldn''t believe it. I told her everything about the different flavored ice creams I tried and the new trends of music that became popular with the teens and how the world outside was infected by a terrible illness that plagued everyone even to this day.


    There wasn''t a lot I could say to her. So I spoke about the time I got out and tried to run that food store we talked about running and how I tried to buy a truck and a gas tank and a cheap stove and how hired my first worker to drive me to the streets where I could start business.


    In the end me and him were our only customers and we ate everything by the end of the day and we became life long business friends because of that.


    The curtain for the room pushed open and the doctor who came to check on her walked forward.


    "¡­" I watched them as they tampered with the bag hanging over her bed, and them checking her vitals.


    " The numbers look good."


    I watched them as they worked and ignored the sound of the morphine alarm that flared out in the silent room.


    I stood by her side. Holding on to her cold hand just listening on how he seemed happy with everything he was seeing and explaining to them what they should do.


    My sister slept because of the drugs they fed her body.


    I combed some strands of her hair over her eyes behind her ears.


    "¡­"


    She would be a beautiful woman, but her body hasn''t aged since she was 15.


    We have the same birthdays, I thought it was funny that we were born on different dates, but she claimed that her birthday was on the same day as mine.


    It had been that way for years.


    Lucky the operations were free or what ever it was they did.


    Because she was a disabled. We didn''t need to pay anything.


    They were special here.


    " Hello."


    The doctor approached me dressed in shorts and a collared shirt that tourists wear on vacations and even if it were cold he wore sandles.


    I politely smiled.


    " Hi."


    He looked at the vitals.


    " The numbers are good, I like what I see. Her breathing was below 50 when you came in, but it''s better."


    " Because of the machine." I added.


    " Yes."


    Despite what I had said.


    " Her lungs don''t look so good."


    Then he showed me an xray off it and there were certain places that were brighter than others.


    I knew what they meant and what he tried to say to me.


    Expect for the worst to happen.


    Although he didn''t want to fully say it. I knew it just from the image he showed me.


    Because something will fail inside of her.


    My memories only accepted such an outcome.


    " Her nervous system has deteriorated, The infection in her lungs¡ª"


    "¡­"


    " The most we can do is delay keeping her on the painkillers for a few more days and see how she will go, but¡ª-"


    Doctors were always just trying to be professional. I understood that.


    Looking at Sera made it harder.


    "¡­"


    I didn''t want to listen to anymore.


    As much as I desired to see a different perspective.


    This was nothing more than waiting for her to die.


    I didn''t want to think in such a way.


    This was a cold dream.


    Dreams were like moments or memories you''ve seen, sometimes you''ve been there and most of the time.


    You find yourself in foreign places.


    Reliving similar moments like the first you lived.


    If one day my body would not make it.


    I would like to be transfered in a dream.


    I''d wish for nothing more than to live every moment as if It could continued again and again.


    I would take it for granted like I had done the first time. Maybe it would be worst there, but a dream was different.


    Anything can happen and if I didn''t like it.


    I could choose to wake up and start over.


    In a dream...


    Things can be different.


    And It wouldn''t have to be so hard.


    To live the way I wanted too.


    If I ever thought of living at all, because I had an obsession with life even though I would always think of things ending.


    ¡ª


    There was something about the monitor for Sera''s vitals that made me stare at it.


    It gave off this feeling of I remember getting in the dungeon.


    That chill in the corner of your mind at the impending doom something dangerous were to happen.


    The feeling of doom made me think of only one person who would die.


    My sister.


    [ The death of a loved one isn''t always a tragic ending.]


    [ Sometimes they can leave you in a heartbeat.]


    [ Sera died from a failure of the heart.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    Then the alarms flared and I stood before the chaos. I decided that I didn''t want to be in that place and not because of the notification, but the way the doctors and nurse went into panic.


    I saw how they rushed over to my sisters body.


    I just left.


    Down the hall. To a vending machine where I bought me an iced drink with the spare coins I found in my pocket.


    I sat on the chair as the feeling of doom lingered over me and I just drank bit by bit wishing I had went for something bitter.


    I remembered the times I smoked when I wanted to ease the pressure I had on the day.


    I looked through the hall to the room that held Sera and I left.


    I walked out into the waiting room and I thought about the flowers I still had when I passed the reception desk.


    I thought decorating the desk was the best way to rid off it.


    I noticed someone sitting lost in her head with her arms on the desk just looking at the same place I remembered a few hours.


    Dolly was dressed in casual clothing if a school uniform was considered casual, she still looked like someone in a mafia wearing it.


    I didn''t know what a real mafia looked like, but the exotic black suit and old person who had a lot of mental barriers was just my image off it.


    I thought it was much better to let her be and think of things ending.


    If something could make me happy. I don''t believe speaking to another person about it would do it.


    But in the end we were once friends. SO I didn''t choose to ignore her.


    " The flowers were perfect." But I didn''t want to be there not with someone like her or at best anyone.


    I just walked away with a heavy heart that if I stepped out the door.


    It would be something I have to live with.


    There was slight compulsion to stay and just talk my feelings to Dolly.


    Then there was this other side of me that just laughed at the thought off it.


    In the end I turned away as I thought that was normal.


    ¡ª¡ª


    A few day passed.


    [ Hello, I''ve talked with the Bishop about your request for Sera to be buried at the church, We¡ª]


    [ You have blocked a number.]


    Sera''s funeral¡­


    I''ve been trying to get to a place to bury her.


    A place where no-one would just walk into, a place that''s always taken care off.


    Somewhere private. We didn''t really have a home, if rentals apartments were considered a place to live. You just can''t bury someone on another''s land.


    It just wasn''t right.


    Then I thought to bury her at her mothers was sick and twisted idea.


    We weren''t on good terms.


    After all these years of ignoring her existence.


    The old me hated the idea of going out to meet the person who seduced our mother in leaving her children for dead.


    I still felt on guard because of it. It was a terrible idea, but the best one.


    So I got changed into the best clothes I could find in my old shitty apartment and got someone who knew how to drive to drive me to the northern district.


    Where there were only the rich and the wealthy, filled with tall houses on a hill and leading up a mountain with large fields of land and luxuries cars.


    All that wealth didn''t seem that appealing to me. Maybe it once did when I actually gave a fuck about life, but things change and you get used to somethings.


    We drove into one of the drive ways of a two story house. A place I had only went to once in my life to visit her.


    I didn''t really have any fond memories of being there.


    It was strange to think such a good looking place like this, to only have been used as a parking spot.


    The better area was at the back.


    When It came to that manipulative woman.


    I expected nothing, but absolute rejection, but I stepped out of my cheap rental car and followed the path to the front of the house.


    I was worried that one more step and I may just go back home.


    I watched her workers cutting the lawn on a large machine back and forth across the lawn.


    It was strange to see a person driving and not walking up and down pushing a lawn mower.


    I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door twice.


    "¡­"


    Then a lady opened it. A very beautiful woman with long dark hair with green eyes dressed in only a robe.


    She looked at the car drive out from the entrance then at me amused for all the years I avoided her.


    I was standing in front of her door again.


    She just casually leaned against the side and showed her barely naked body.


    " Al."


    "¡­"


    " You''re not the kind to say hello."


    " Go on." She said.


    " Sera died¡­"


    " A few days ago."


    She showed no emotions, but she listened intently to what I was speaking about.


    I knew that she hated meaningless conversation.


    " Would you take care of her, here. Please."


    " Take care?"


    " Her body."


    "¡­"


    " You want to bury her."


    " Yes."


    " If it''s for her daughter. I will allow it." It was the tone of her voice that sounded distant.


    I reached for my wallet and took out some few hundreds of dollars I had taken out from the accounts I remembered.


    I don''t know why I had money in the savings account for Sera.


    The money saved was for the most worst scenario and to support her.


    I emptied the wallet into my hand.


    I pulled out 12, 100 dollar bills.


    I didn''t really think much about the cash that slipped through my fingers.


    I didn''t recognize the currency.


    " This is nothing, but a small portion of it¡­ I will send all of it to your account right now."


    She looked at the plastic I held, but there was this emotionless feeling I felt from her when I spoke.


    " You always find a way to disappoint me Al."


    She pulled onto her robe and leaned against the door.


    " It''s the only thing I can give to you." She didn''t think of it like that.


    This money. It was nothing but a sense of weakness in front of her, something she always liked seeing in others.


    Usually it was the opposite. The smart people would often prey on those with poor circumstances and give them gifts and help them out subtly to get what they want, but I poured out money because it was all that I had.


    " You''re very intelligent Al."


    She reached out her hand and caressed mine holding onto the worthless plastic.


    " Everything has a lingering price."


    " Good will."


    " They''re never free." She said in a depressing way.


    She took the money and placed into my shirt pocket.


    " Al. Do you want to know what I told your caretaker when we first met?"


    And then she pulled on my hand.


    She raised her lips to my ears and kissed my cheek and placed my hand underneath her robe.


    I felt my fingers linger against her thighs and how it was slowly reaching closer and closer to her pussy, I latched onto it''s side when I felt it knowing that she was trying to use me.


    She smiled when I caressed her skin and how she stood up on her feet and reached my ears.


    " Comfort me."


    " And I''ll will take care of everything."


    I looked at my hand covered by her robe and her fit body hiding underneath it.


    It didn''t arouse me, but my fingers caressed her thighs and I would play with her inside watching her emotionless reactions as they dug in and out of her very slowly as I heard her slightly moan uncomfortably.


    No lust.


    No desire.


    Just a transaction to get something I desire, but I didn''t like the way I felt.


    Morals wanted me to stop doing it. My mind didn''t really care anymore.


    I was too drained from life.


    A contract with the woman.


    An emotionless sexual transaction.


    I felt cold inside as I thought about it.


    Most people always thought they would do it with a beautiful girl who was madly in love with them and wanted to make love like how they did in fiction, but life taught me how easy those people walk out of your life very quickly.


    So love didn''t make any sense to me.


    At the end of the day. Walking for a minimum wage just to fuck a pleasure worker was the only way I could see myself getting any sex.


    Fucking the ex girlfriend of your dead parent is not any different from that.


    I already made the decision when I got here.


    That Sera will be buried even if the things I had to do could disgust me.


    I did it again.


    "¡­" To see her body tense from something as small as just pushing in a finger inside of her and massaging her inside.


    Porn made the real thing appear so bland, so easy.


    Maybe it was just the chemistry that made it hot.


    She stepped forward and I embraced her body and kissed her on the side of her lips.


    " That''s not enough Al." She bit back and pulled out the bottom of my lip.


    One kiss and she already made it seem as us fucking in that house on what ever object that was inside was the final destination.


    I heard her workers machine.


    She turned around and open the door and guided me inside.


    I stood still and looked at my body.


    It worried me.


    "¡­"


    I was fucked for having the experience and stamina of a No-Life.


    I thought about my lower back and the big belly I had wasn''t there anymore, but all I could think about is how I never exercised my waist and thighs for sex.


    I never lasted more than seconds to just get rid of the lustful feelings I had.


    Now I was running into sex without any physical experience.


    Sexual urges? There''s a little devil that wants to go inside of her, but If I wanted emotionless sex.


    I''d rather fuck my own hand.


    The way she stood at the door with those playful manipulative eyes and that body.


    I wondered why burying Sera mattered at this point.


    I might already be dead.


    It doesn''t really¡­ matter¡­


    Nothing ever mattered and yet.


    I did these things because I wanted them to happen.


    " I was wondering¡­"


    " If we could have something to eat first and do it after."


    " You want to go on a date¡­?"


    " Maybe¡­ Dinner, Yes."


    "Al¡­ This is the only way we can communicate." She grabbed my hand and I touched her chest and she made me squeeze them.


    " There is nothing you can do to fix what already happened. You chose this remember."


    " It could be better¡­" I thought.


    She just smiled.


    " Better than sex?"


    " Better¡­"


    Then I heard her laugh.


    " Well, after I will think about it."


    She pulled on my hand.


    " Come inside."


    "¡­"


    " Come."


    ¡ª¡ª


    [???: Hey Al. Do you know any good animes?]


    [Al: I don''t watch them anymore. I told you, I read webtoons now.]


    [???: Right¡­ Then what are the best mangas you''ve read?]


    [Al: They''re not the same.]


    [Al: Try solo leveling. It''s what I''m reading now and It''s has really cool art, only 64 chapters are out, but I''m still on the double dungeon arc.]


    [???: Double dungeon? Is that a spoiler?]


    [Al: It''s the beginning of the story.]


    [???: Tell me about it. Need the details.]


    [???: Is there cheating? and Threesomes?]


    [Al: It''s not porn.]


    [???: Sure.]


    [Al: I''m being honest.]


    [???: Just like you always say you don''t run out off storage space on your pc downloading it.]


    [Al: I download webtoons.]


    [???: You download depraved shit called Ntr.]


    [ Al: I''m learning how to draw...]


    [???: Is that a fucking excuse? I hear you Ntr scum.]


    [Al:¡­"


    [Al: You know what I think about it. Just read in a different language.]


    [Al: I already told you, but why do you keep reading through the folders I name /NTR/.]


    [???: ¡­]


    [Al: I name them because you''re a SSS snooper.]


    [???: You demon.]


    [???: ¡­ Just tell me the details.]


    [Al: Just some artist with really good art.]


    [???: So it has good art? Summarize it.]


    [Al: ¡­]


    [Al: The usual things Koreans write. People dying. People cheer leading the MC. And someone who is meant to be dead, survives and becomes the protagonist. The nations competing propaganda.]


    [Al: I hate the way the side characters cheer lead him.]


    [???: It sounds bad from your explanation.]


    [???: It''s like you don''t want me to read it.]


    [???: Next time I ask, put more enthusiasm into your explanation.]


    [Al: You''re reading a text message -.-.]


    [???: Emojis are not emotions (-.~)_/ ]


    [???: I will keep it in the library, but have you heard?]


    [Al: Heard?]


    [???: Theres a Yu gi oh tournament in the city tomorrow night. You can use your anti-meta deck to beat the lightsworns and Burning Abyss piece of shits.]


    [???: I mean abusers.]


    [Al: It''s not Anti-Meta. It''s a¡­ Soul-farm-absorption-negation-control deck.]


    [???: Wtf is the name so long.]


    [Al: Because I haven''t named it yet.]


    [???: Then make up a name. What about Sacrificial Devil?]


    [???: You sacrifice your monsters for an advantage and you steal the enemy''s soul by winning the duel with Seal.]


    [Al: It sounds really bad. And Sacrifical Devil is not even a card!]


    [???: Do you think with your third leg? Make a custom card, name it, give it effects, do what ever.]


    [???: Do what you had done the last time you modified the Seal Of Orichalcos.]


    [Al: Yeah, but I won''t be able to use it.]


    [???: Who cares. The worst thing that would happen is some tight ass would call the judge and you''d drop from the duels that night.]


    [???: Pull the card out once and beat the shit out of the guy your facing.]


    [Al: And get banned from the shop?]


    [???: There is always different places we could go to Al.]


    [Al: but not a place close to an Internet cafe and a pizza shop that''s open from 3 am to 1 pm.]


    [???: That''s why we call a Uber.]


    [¡­]


    [???: So are you coming tomorrow night?]


    [Al: It''s my sisters birthday. I can''t come.]


    [???: Oh shit. Shit. Sorry.]


    [???: Say happy birthday to her for me yeah.]


    [???: I still haven''t gotten to meet her.]


    [???: You should invite her out with us on our duels.]


    [Al has left chat.]


    I took a long drive to the northern district.


    Things changed after that day. More sex, more dates at resorts and more intimate actions, but it turned out that she was the best medicine for all the wicked shit that has been going on in my life.


    She was good at making you feel happy and anything you wanted she will get it for you.


    That was the power of wealth.


    Anytime she would open her body for you. In her house, at a resort she could tell what you wanted and will provide for you.


    The thought that someone like her being single was just something strange to thing about. I just never asked her if she had any relationships with anyone after my mother.


    It didn''t really matter to me, but there was night where after sex we sat alone on her balcony and I stared at her fields smoking on cheap cigarettes and then she spoke a bit about her time with my mother and how she was the one who had taken care off her through the worst moments of her life.


    She seemed happy speaking about it. The truth was I don''t remember her being apart of my life.


    I don''t remember much about what happened after.


    I found myself staring at the ground with black patches in my memory and her fit body soaked over my cock.


    It was the first time I thought being with someone felt good, sex was hot and sweaty, but being with someone who never asked questions about what happened and just thinking on pure lust.


    It kind of made me sad.


    I thought about the reasons why I didn''t have this before.


    I pulled into the house and saw one of the workers who would come every week pull out the drive way.


    I learned that she would pay for people from over-seas to come and work for her. The jobs she gave them were odd, but she payed double the price.


    She got mad once when I told her about the way she was spending her money. She didn''t care if she went bankrupt.


    It was all an effort to make someones life easier she said, but I felt there was more to it than just that.


    Her workers were rather strange people, but they got the job done and seemed always happy being here.


    These days. I spent most of my time watching them work on Sera''s new veranda and her court yard.


    That woman did more than just allow me to bury her.


    She decided to build a new house at the back just for Sera, but¡­ I thought it would take too long, but she insisted and decided on a small court yard for Sera temporary before the new house was built.


    Sera had her own courtyard.


    I was grateful, but all these good things just for more sex. It felt like I was just using her, but she was happy by just that.


    I walked up to a tree and pulled out a chair from underneath one of the tables nearby.


    In front of a Black Monolith with the photos of Sera plastered onto it hidden behind a clear glass that protected their frames.


    I rested an arrangement of blue-red and white flowers below and sat down staring at the field of grass of her new home.


    It was like I was living in some sort of dream, the good ones where there were only happy endings, but I didn''t feel that way. It seemed almost unreal to me as if it would just fade if I closed my eyes and waited for the next day to come.


    I''d be in hell again.


    I gripped my hand as I thought about everything that happened with that woman and she had always helped me.


    Despite the amazing sex I have everyday and delicious dinners and luxurious activities and resorts and nice bikes I get to drive and the presents especially the amazing blow jobs.


    " Sera, You''re brothers life isn''t going so well."


    The reality was that I had always been someone fucked up and that won''t ever change even if there was a good life before me.


    " I''ve made some sins since you have gone away."


    A good life wasn''t enough to fade everything I knew away.


    I got involved with the wrong people again.


    " I know how you always wanted to have someone to take care of me."


    " You won''t like the person whose been taking care off me, but she''s a kind person when she chooses to be."


    " The funny thing is how she mentioned having kids and I know how you always wanted to be an Aunty."


    "¡­"


    " I''m sorry."


    " I can''t stay."


    " I pray things are better where you are."


    " I hope it''s better than here."


    "¡­"


    I poured myself a drink.


    " Happy Birthday¡ª-"


    "¡ª-To us."


    To drink up to this despairing life.


    ¡ª¡ª


    [ There have been several day light abductions in ??? Street.]


    [ Mass shootings have¡ª]


    [¡ªevacuate¡ª¡ª]


    " Hermano, There are 14 enforcers running turtles in the western districts."


    "¡­ turtles?"


    " Modified jeeps or pickup trucks." I spoke out for the middle aged American looking man.


    He had his hands bound and sat on one of the tent chairs.


    I pulled my rifle over the table and turned up the radio.


    " Hermano, Why are you speaking to this gringo."


    I looked at the bikes outside with soldiers surrounding them ready to move to a different location and the masked man who ordered them.


    I turned to my friend.


    " Your accent sounds like your Scottish."


    " You acted like Hitler before. What changed?"


    " Different people, different faces! Look at him. He believed my charm."


    I looked at the man. He looked like all the others we had met.


    Scared and very hungry.


    " What happened to the pigs?" I asked.


    " The Muslims shot them, We won''t be having ribs for the next few days."


    "¡­"


    I played with the rifle trigger.


    " They were poisoned."


    " Who did it?"


    " It doesn''t fucking matter who did it."


    " We searched and no-one is saying shit."


    " They''re saying it''s the locals who set the pens on fire."


    " But I don''t believe those putas."


    " Why don''t we just kill the fuckers who took the shift. Can''t trust them. They aren''t like us."


    " If we hurt one of them."


    " They will rat us."


    " Then we die."


    " It will be a glorious death!"


    " Not over fucking pigs." I told him.


    "¡­"


    " Fucking pigs."


    "¡­"


    " Al, do you ever wonder what kind of life you would have if you didn''t follow me."


    I thought about the woman I left and how she tried to find me.


    " I''d probably be in a grave." I told him.


    " Nah, You wouldn''t do that to me."


    He pushed the rifle aside and sat in front of me.


    " You hate the sound of animals being slit and you tense at the sound of bullets, how the fuck can someone like you die."


    " You''re a fucking coward." He laughed bitterly to himself.


    I thought of the irony of what he had said.


    "¡­"


    " It''s a good thing."


    " That means you get to live just a little longer." He pushed out a red packet cigarette from his vest and smoked it and I watched him walked beside the American and placed a new one between his lips.


    " You see that Al."


    " That is called kindness, the shit they play on that fucking radio."


    " All bull shit and lies." He took a huff.


    I stared at the American who relaxed a little, but I couldn''t look away from the cigarette he was smoking.


    Black paper with a purple line over the tip.


    " You have a twisted sense of it." Kindness? The cigarette was laced with bliss.


    Almost immediately the American was rocking on his seat, nodding in and out.


    " Do we have to give them over each time. They''re just going to train him and send him to death."


    " That''s kindness. We treat them like friends, and then we leave them for dead."


    " Their just¡­"


    He tossed a bundle of cash on the table.


    " Money." I said.


    " That''s right Hermano."


    " It''s all about this eternal bliss." He sniffed the bundle off cash, but I wasn''t one to agree with it.


    I never understood the value of money. He didn''t like the way I looked again. Always had a problem with someone who didn''t prioritize money over everything.


    At first we were just going to run a food stand outside some sort of market and live that way and then in the next moment we were peddling things to different districts and then we ended up with another job, but I didn''t like this one.


    " Then you tell me what else is there to die for."


    "¡­"


    " See, The American agrees with me."


    "¡­" The stench of bliss from his breath stunk like the smell I got used to when it came to this room.


    He sat on the side of the table and flexed his hands.


    " Why don''t we play that game like when we were kids."


    " Yu gi oh?" I asked.


    " I remember how we use to always go to those tournaments."


    " The money we wasted opening those boxes. 120 dollars for a few pieces of paper."


    " Imagine the money we could have spent on socks and these." He raised the cigarettes between his fingers.


    " Life wouldn''t be so bad. If I had saved it more, but I lived a great life." He told me.


    I saw him smile as I thought about the only things he had spent his wealth on was better clothes and rental apartments to fuck high class girls who bought the idea he was rich and I was someone who worked for him since we were little.


    The worst part was he was hard working for it, but blind to all the things he can attain if he just sat down and thought about what he wanted.


    Who in the right mind would spend 500k on an Internet cafe expecting for pretty e-girls to come there and fk the owner on the first night.


    " But fuck... Those days were fun." He said.


    " You bought 3 boxes every week." I told him about the stupid shit he always does with money.


    " I bought you cards and I had a taste of those nerds friends who roamed like shy girl friends."


    "¡­ You got rejected almost every time and made me drop from some matches, because you touched the girl the shop owner liked."


    " That fat whale was busy and she looked bored always waiting at the counter."


    " I just introduced myself." He laughed.


    " I made friends Al."


    "¡­"


    I looked around the filthy room mocking his words.


    " Where are they?"


    " Who knows? dead, or somewhere peaceful."


    " Then they''re not your friends."


    " Why are you being a bitch about it."


    " Because you always bring up the past."


    " You do that every time you''re bored." I say.


    Then I went on with the previous thought.


    " If they ever thought of you as a friend, we wouldn''t be here."


    " But you''re here."


    " I just couldn''t stand the thought of you going on to do something stupid alone."


    " What if you die somewhere I don''t know?" I told him.


    " How do I tell your sister that her brother died chasing after skirts."


    He laughed a little, but he was thinking over it.


    " We could have just stuck with the food stand."


    " What''s wrong with this life." I asked wondering what got him so angsty all of a sudden.


    He was silent.


    " Too much work."


    "¡­" It wasn''t anything really. Just running different locations. Sending out scouts. It wasn''t as hard or maybe I learned to live in that kind of life.


    " Pick up a card."


    "¡­"


    He just looked at me and then the table.


    " Ok."


    " You''re the one who said we''ll play."


    "¡­"


    " Don''t tell me you don''t remember what deck you had back then?"


    "¡­"


    " We don''t need the real thing." I imitated the way people shuffled a deck of cards and he followed the same. I picked up 5 cards and placed my hand on the table.


    " How the fuck could you just mock my friends and ignore my bleeding heart."


    " Because you always tell your dry sense of humor to the wrong person."


    " Shit."


    " We already know how to play this game."


    " Just alter your reality a little bit."


    He just looked at me and rolled his eyes over to the American.


    " Hey gringo. Come and play."


    The American looked faded and leaned on his chair, as if he couldn''t sit up on his own.


    " Then he yawned his self to shit." I heard him say.


    " Tch. You already know I''m not good with my imagination Al."


    " Why don''t you use your memories."


    He looked to his cigarette.


    " Shit man I only took this thing to relax. Why do you want to make my head hurt again."


    "¡­"


    He reached out his hand on the table.


    " So whose going first?"


    " Wait we do it in the language we made."


    " Do you remember it?" I asked him.


    " Les, Mer, Sores." He said those three words.


    " Rock, Paper, Scissors."


    " 3-2-1."


    " Sores."


    " Mer."


    I win.


    ¡ª¡ª


    We were turned on by the people we worked for.


    One thing led up to another and people had their own thoughts.


    " I''m going to murder them."


    " Every fucking one of them!"


    "..."


    They hired two amateurs to abduct foreigners and expected them to die or be killed.


    We took the job seriously.


    I don''t think they expected us to abduct a large sum of people and that gain a lot of attention.


    " Al, we are going to fucking die." He had this guilty look on his face.


    "Maybe."


    I stood over the body of a kid I knew. He had a hole in his head from my gun.


    " Those sick fuck who worked for us. They''re probably hunting with them." I heard him say, but I was just cold because I knew the kid personally.


    I looked to my old friend.


    " Who exactly did we work for?"


    He looked at the ground and spit.


    " Siphon." I ripped aside the kids shirt where I saw a mark seared disgustingly into the boys throat.


    How we marked pigs, this body was marked just like them.


    " They are using them like pigs." I told him.


    The children were left for dead and the adults.


    I didn''t want to think much on it.


    They might be hunting us too.


    " They are using the fucking kids Al!"


    " Al!"


    No matter who died or who was killed. It didn''t stopped them from hunting us.


    I looked at my friend then to all the trees where we had been shooting.


    We had no other options but to reposition and fight anyone who came to kills us.


    All we knew is that we had to run anywhere our feets could wander too.


    Then I saw the boy move although he was going to die.


    I aimed the gun to his chest.


    "¡­"


    No matter how much we tried.


    There isn''t a second chance for us.


    Bang! Bang!


    "¡­" I turned around to my friend who just stood there with tears on his face. He could barely look at me or the body and I decided to pick up anything the kid had on him.


    His gun, his knife and the drugs that hid in his pockets.


    " This isn''t right¡­" There was no mercy to us anymore.


    This is how we will live and die.


    My friend was in his own sheltered world.


    I guess it was because I knew something like this environment that I didn''t really feel it like he did, but the first time always fucked you up.


    " Why did you do that?" I stared at him.


    " Why did I shoot him?" I thought about it.


    " Mercy."


    I pulled him through the bushes, but my body was not working well because of the rain and the cold.


    Everything in my lower limb was pain and I could not feel my feet.


    I wanted us to go on to a place where we could see everything, so when they came we could kill as many as we could.


    We were going to die. That''s how I saw this situation.


    So I didn''t think about escaping, but kill as many as I could to increase our time in this place.


    I couldn''t go on with him haunted by the things we had to do.


    Killing a kid meant nothing I told him.


    If that person is there to kill you. Shoot them.


    So that you may live a little more, but I don''t know if the things I said mattered.


    The more shootings we encountered as we ran.


    The less and less I saw him willing to go on.


    Maybe it was because they were kids, maybe it''s because his morality was killed because I forced him to kill one of them.


    I wouldn''t know what it''s like to be someone who always thought about the right things in times like these.


    I didn''t want him to keep stopping us from moving.


    It was like I could live longer if I were on my own and he was just existing.


    The funny part was how I didn''t really care about my life.


    I guess it was the only reason I had in sticking with him.


    [ You''re vision has blurred.]


    I smoked a few things just to ease my mind even if the scent could kill me.


    It was getting harder and harder to breathe.


    Running. Falling in to cover. All I thought was to make sure I was the first to be killed, but because he was here.


    I couldn''t stand the thought of dying. It vexed me that the only thought I had was to have killed the both of us before everything would end up like this.


    Then a sound roared.


    Bang! Bang! Bang!


    All I saw was blood, a lot of it spilling onto the ground and my head sunk down in the dirt.


    I couldn''t feel a thing, my arms were numb and my head felt heavier.


    " Don''t stop¡ª-fucking move Al!"


    He pulled me up from the back and tried to drag me forward.


    " They''re that way!" We heard the voices of adults.


    " I said move Al!"


    " Al!"


    Hearing him scream in anger. It got to me a little even I felt angry for not being able to do what he had said, but my body¡­ I just couldn''t feel it no more.


    There was just a crippling feeling of doom I sensed as my lower back burned intensely.


    " Run. Get away from here or we both die!" I pushed his hand away and pulled in the rifle.


    " I¡­ I will cover you." He squirmed as he said.


    " I will cover¡­"


    I aimed the gun to his head.


    " Don''t make me shoot you." There was fear in his eyes at the sight of me holding the gun and aiming it at him.


    The sound of a gun fire went off in the woods somewhere.


    They were moving closer and I knew¡­


    It was scaring him.


    Over my shoulder.


    " It''s okay." I said.


    " We both know what will happen."


    " Just pretend. I died. You can do that for me right?"


    He couldn''t look me in the eye when he heard it. He stormed away from me and turned his back to me.


    " I''m sorry." I heard him say.


    " We''re friends." I told him.


    This is the right thing to do.


    I didn''t understand why it was so hard to leave me. In normal circumstances there wouldn''t ever be time to react or do anything.


    He just looked so lonely standing there and I hated the thoughts of how he would choose to stay here and die with me.


    That would drive me more mad than shooting him.


    Which is why I did not let go off the gun.


    "You know they will come." I told him.


    "¡­"


    " I will be with Sera."


    Then darkness again.


    I felt someone holding my hand.


    I couldn''t hear him.


    " Run¡­ go far away from here." I said.


    But it all felt like thoughts to me.


    Like I was thinking of them.


    I just kept talking to myself for awhile.


    Praying that he just chose to ran away.


    It would be good if that we were true.


    " Make kind choices."


    "¡­"


    " Live a kind life¡­"


    I don''t know if some minutes past.


    Then I managed to see again.


    A pale sky full of storm clouds over us and the cold chill from the earlier rain soaking the back of my hair and body.


    I felt that I was alone and I felt incredibly scared as my mind expected someone to come.


    Waiting to die.


    Not wanting to live.


    That feeling felt so empty as if I was expecting to be executed.


    Then I saw a small bird just sitting on a branch on a high tree.


    Bang! Bang!


    Then it flew far away from the close gun fire.


    A black bird in the sky.


    Bang! Bang-Bang!


    I pulled the rifle to my side as it was the only thing I had.


    '' Al¡­ can you help me draw.''


    '' What would you like to draw?''


    '' Anything pretty.''


    '' Why don''t we try a butterfly.''


    '' Why a butterfly?''


    '' They are always surrounded by beautiful things.''


    '' I like it.''


    '' Sera, hold my hand.''


    '' Ok!''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I looked at the gun in my hand.


    Something over me.


    I thought I imagined a Sera who was normal, staring down at me with this sad smile on her face.


    Angels didn''t talk, they were just beautiful and watched over you. I remembered a priest tell me once.


    They came when they knew you were on your way to heaven, but I had done so many sins in my life that I believed this was hell tempting me to let go.


    I just smiled to the figure I saw as she sat down by my side and waited.


    Waited for what ever it was that will come to claim my life.


    '' Cough¡­ It hurts¡­''


    '' It hurts!''


    '' Sera¡­ stop hurting yourself!''


    ''I''ll call for help.''


    '' Pick up!''


    '' Pick up!''


    '' Sera! Sera! No Don''t¡­"


    '' Yes. Hello?''


    '' Help me...''


    '' Help my sister¡­''


    '' She''s sick and she needs help¡­''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    '' I promise¡­''


    '' Someone will save you¡­''


    '' Just..''


    '' In time.''


    '' Someone will help you.''


    '' I know they will.''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    As if to show me it was time.


    Sera stood up and tapped my head.


    Then I saw someone wearing a mask standing from behind a tree.


    It had a smile painted with an apathetic expression looking down.


    " You look like a dead man." He said in a muffled voice.


    He drew a gun and fired over my head.


    The bullets went straight through Sera''s body and she stared to the side giggling at what he had done.


    I felt like he had thought my friend was using me as bait. He stared around the area and then motioned to the woods where two soldiers walked with the guns at the ready.


    He took a deep breathe in.


    " Don''t take this personally."


    " I didn''t feel like coming out here, you''ve both been very good to me."


    " We have rules."


    " I don''t hire anyone and let them go. Your friend knew that."


    " But he didn''t tell me about you."


    " You know I think you tempted me in hiring you."


    " When you shot those children."


    " It told me that you had a place in our world."


    " I sent more and you killed them just like they did to my pigs."


    Then I heard him speak in another language.


    The soldiers they bought a man forward. His head covered in a cloth and blood, so much blood all on his shirt.


    Soaked and beaten.


    His hands were cut off.


    " I''m going to show you something."


    His men walked forward with a gasoline can. They beat the stranger to the floor and dunked his head in oil and then set his head on fire.


    " This is what will happen when I find your friend."


    He squirmed screaming, like a whistle and I hear the way his skin crackled from the torch placed against his head.


    The man who ordered his burning sat down next to me forcing my head to look at the person burning by my side.


    I looked up to his mask and he just seemed so focused on the person burning that he didn''t seem to care about anything.


    When ever I pulled my head away.


    He would force me to stare at the scene again.


    Like we were just watching a fire burning.


    His soldiers were laughing when the person struggled, but he was held down with the back of his throat stepped on by one of them.


    The man stopped screaming and that''s how I knew he was dead, but his body twitched strangely.


    Then then person made a gesture.


    He cracked his index finger and then his thumbs.


    The men brought out the machetes hanging from their pants and pulled his limbs and started to chop into his legs and I turned away.


    But I heard them throw the pieces of his body to the bushes and the trees.


    One by one until the person let go of my shoulder.


    " I won''t do the same thing to you."


    He moved away and walked to where the others left.


    " When we made the deal."


    " You''re friend asked me to spare you."


    " I keep my promises."


    Then I saw the American we abducted from before and he stepped up holding onto my rifle.


    His eyes looked like he was on Bliss.


    " But not my workers." The man said and he just walked away.


    "¡­"


    " Remember to mark him."


    Bang! Bang! Bang!


    ¡ªYou have been¡ª¡ª


    [???: Hey, Al you up buddy?"]


    [Al is typing¡­]


    [???: You type to slow. Look I got this wicked idea.]


    [???: After spending time reading through your deck profile.]


    [???: It just came to me.]


    [???: Why don''t we make a system. The kind that allow us to do what ever we like.]


    [ Al is typing¡­]


    [???: It''s gonna cost a lot of fucking money though, like more than what we can get in 40 years.]


    [ Al is typing¡­]


    [???: I got into contact with a friend-of a friend-of a friend, who works for this very rich family, and they mentioned the idea to them.]


    [ Al is typing¡­]


    [???: The company they are apart of. They''re quite big. They deal with body modifications, but there''s also some wicked shit about them working with things like immortality or execution sites.]


    [???: It''s bull shit okay, and no I won''t ever put you in danger, but I''m willing to bet our futures on this.]


    [???: So tell me.]


    [???: Are you in with me?]


    [Al: Always.]


    [??? Is typing¡­]

 CH 5: A part of me is dead and in the ground PT 2

    My mind was gone.


    The image of my sister''s ghost standing by the side of the person who executed me.


    Looking down at me with this sad look on her face.


    I understood why she turned away.


    It might have been the first time she had ever seen a person wanting to kill another.


    Sera had always been sheltered and her illness took away any chance for her in having friends.


    So when I saw her watching me.


    I began to understand that she never really understood the terrors in this life.


    I never allowed her to know about them.


    The blood I tasted on my tongue signaled the end.


    The pain. The cold. The silence. It numbed all senses.


    "¡­"


    Nothing escaped my throat, but a slight moan of discomfort.


    All my sight was on my sister who was fading away.


    There were times I could see us when we were young.


    The day we first made a cake using cheap cake mix.


    The day we both heard drunk aunties and uncles singing out of tune at a karaoke club.


    That comfortable life that we shared together.


    I wanted to know---


    " Sera¡­"


    If she thought fondly of our time together too.


    I never had the chance to ask her.


    If she was ever happy with the life we had together.


    I was left to die because the American seemed a bit on edge when he saw that I didn''t go out like he thought I would.


    It scared him to see me breathing.


    He was laughing, but his eyes were shaken by the idea that someone did not die by a loaded gun.


    That''s what bliss could do to someone.


    It can drive you insane and make you feel an immediate sense of joy that was so addicting that you''d find happiness in being mad.


    " You¡ª monster!!" And then I saw him run.


    The fool was so inexperienced he would think someone died just by shooting them in the chest.


    I would die, just not as quickly. I would bleed out and suffer from pneumonia either one of the two will take my life.


    I could not tell which.


    My eyes burned staring at the direction he left as I felt my body fighting back the cold that invaded my knees numbing them and burning my nerves.


    I stared at the blackened sky and saw moments of my life in the form of memories from when I was young.


    The moments I could have changed.


    The things I should have said.


    Actions I would have chosen differently.


    It was hard to think about the kind things of being alive when all I felt was numbness from seeing painful and exhausting memories.


    I saw a phantom manifest from thinking on those thoughts, like in the dungeon, a small butterfly flexed out its wings and I saw A blackbird in the sky.


    It flew in circles in that blackened sky.


    I found peace in that creature even if gunfire roared in the woods.


    It drowned out everything in sight.


    I thought a lot about the things I''ve done.


    Somehow¡ª Somewhere¡ª Some place.


    I ended up at the bottom of the barrel again.


    There would be no funeral directors who would take care of me and no one to visit me at the morgue.


    I won''t be surrounded by people who love me or would cry if I were dead.


    This place was far from everything.


    A burial site in a distant country.


    No one would come here.


    "¡­"


    In this world.


    You come and you go.


    Left alone with just the maggots and ants who would make this flesh their home, I did not feel human, and life was blurring out of sight.


    Dying seemed to be similar to addictive laughter.


    '' Sera doesn''t have a lot of time left.''


    It was just so twisted, but you just couldn''t stop yourself from laughing.


    [ Your body has been destroyed.]


    I often remember the good moments of my life only in the moments I wouldn''t make it, but what stayed longer than good memories was the kind I''d always wake up to.


    [ You watched it die.]


    [ You''ve gained experience.]


    I rested against a tall tree watching the rain pour over something someone would only see in a horror scene.


    My body laying dead far away from me.


    Madness was corroding my mind ever since I woke up in that fucking dungeon.


    Death sequences. Transfers. Hunters. Reality.


    Life after death.


    This was hell. Not the kind that people project on sinners.


    Theirs sounded kinder than the one in front of me.


    I couldn''t quite know if I was living or dead.


    The concept of life blurred ever since I took my first transfer and all moralities faded when I was shown that I could never fully die like I know I should.


    I saw my sisters'' ghost smiling at me.


    '' Al!''


    The very same eyes that was always so happy to me when I came back home.


    '' So! How was work! Did you get a new girl friend huh-! Huh! What about that girl who worked at the burger station?''


    '' She''s religious¡­''


    '' And? I heard that whenever she''s there, the burgers are delicious!''


    '' God. You always think about food.''


    '' I don''t really get it, but if she can take care of you then that''s more than enough for me.''


    '' Remember Al! She has to take care of you!''


    '' But you''re here¡­''


    '' Ugh¡­ No- No! That''s not good enough Al.''


    '' If you don''t get a wife by the time I''m 23 then I did something wrong!''


    '' We''re getting you a wife.''


    '' Today!''


    '' Yeah¡­ but no.''


    ''¡ªBetter luck next time.''


    '' Gah!''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " Hello."


    I saw her fingers reach for my face.


    I guided her hands as if she were caressing my cheeks, that small action made her smile, I didn''t show her how I couldn''t feel it.


    [ It''s okay... Al.]


    [ Hold on for a little while.]


    I saw how the system attempted to translate the silence between us, but I preferred not knowing it.


    It was far better that she did not have a voice.


    If I heard her go as far as to say something that would be the moment I would have lost it.


    Although she was by my side.


    I saw someone else from this reflection.


    My sister.


    The one who was buried in the yard in a different life.


    " I love you."


    She smiled.


    ¡ª-Your time in this memory¡ª-.


    ¡ª has ended.


    []


    I woke up in the most darkest place.


    I stared to the holographic scene masquerading as god.


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    [Yes] or [No]


    It was always there before I transferred.


    [Yes] and [No] -


    The only agency you had here was how long it would take for you to choose an answer.


    You had many choices, but it came with a cost.


    [] Stare.


    [] Wait.


    [] Ponder.


    [] Make your decision.


    The longer you took to make a decision to go.


    The faster your sense of sanity was diluted by the absence of senses because the darkness was numbing your sense of self.


    The more you waited. The less you want to go.


    I reached out for the option sane people would diver from choosing.


    [ You''re decision ''No'' has been denied.]


    Just to see what might happen.


    [¡­]


    No consequences. No prompt to divert you to choose the other option.


    Only silence.


    God faded when I pressed my hand against the fluorescent light that existed beside the one I had chosen.


    [Yes]


    I watched my senses slowly come into focus after the lights turned off.


    In the dark, memories of my time in Siphon bloomed, because of the nights I had spent in places where light was an expense and a luxury.


    I was used to not seeing anything.


    It was the lost of smell and sound that placed me on edge a little.


    Unable to remember what I had done the last day, work, do things that kept me up all night.


    I did anything that was asked of me, anything that would lessen the stress of the others, but I wasn''t alive.


    Existing only came to me in times my body showed signs of giving up on me when I was alone.


    You lived, but then you must die.


    You live and you must die.


    Those words haunted me more than the cruelty I''ve seen, more than the barbaric desensitization of humanity I had found in the pen.


    So when I finally understood how twisted it all was.


    I made a decision. If I were to die again and somehow, some way I would wake up again.


    Maybe this time I''d get it right.


    I''d try for an education and run a food stand in a night market.


    I''d work on speaking fluently in English and fix my vocabulary by imitating news reports and today''s radio speakers.


    That''s only if it were a different life that did not reflect anything to do with what I had already seen in mine.


    "¡­" But I know myself.


    Even if I conjured grand illusions of places and dreams of realities I would have lived.


    They would never last.


    Just because you transferred somewhere else.


    It doesn''t mean that the horrors you faced vanished when you''re dead.


    The Al who gave up on life and a good future.


    The Al who wanted to live a little more, but did not bear the consequences or endured to the end for that vision.


    He still existed in me and he''d always be there whether I die or dream myself in another life.


    In the end, what made me fall from grace was the decisions I made that led me to be a No Life.


    It''s too late to live a better life.


    I''m already gone.


    [ You have transferred.]


    " Mr Baek!! Behind you!"


    The air snapped and after the pressure exploded I reached for the warm sensation trickling down the side of my face.


    A man was split right through the middle.


    A stone sword anchored between his feet, cracks formed from the weight of the weapon that tore through him.


    Unfortunately. He was still alive and I was a lot closer than I remembered.


    Those blood-red eyes focused on me and then his eyes snapped to his brows.


    [ You have witnessed a system execution.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    He fell apart on two different sides of the floor.


    I stared blindly at his remains even when I noticed the statue ripped its sword from his back.


    I just stared.


    Nothing had changed, but my feelings were different.


    " Thank you for being a part of this world."


    The statue that murdered him simply rested its back against the wall and waited.


    I turned away from him and I walked away far from everyone who was spellbound by the callous display of cruelty they showed.


    The image of the man slowly faded the longer I walked.


    In contrast to the memory of it.


    I reached out my hand and thought about the modification system.


    "¡­"


    ~+~


    [ Welcome To Solo Leveling]


    [ This is your modification system]


    [ BAL: -000 ]


    [ Rank: E.]


    I stopped when I noticed a young girl just sitting down with this empty lost look on her face, watching as others died.


    I approached her and stared at the scene.


    " Aren''t you afraid?" I asked.


    "¡­"


    " If I were a good person. I''d say you shouldn''t be here."


    She kept on watching them.


    "¡ª-But If I were an honest man I would say."


    " Do as you please."


    " If it hasn''t happened yet, there''s no need to fear it."


    I reached out and patted her shoulder as a sign of farewell for our small interaction that came from just a whim.


    She looked up at me.


    "¡­" There was a moment where I thought she would have said something, but she just turned away from me and remained where she was simply watching others die by the cruel lord.


    I left her and walked away.


    I heard a tiny laugh over my shoulder


    " You''re leaving me¡­?" It was the smallest voice I had ever heard or maybe it was fear that made her speak quietly.


    I didn''t like the feeling her eyes gave off or how it seemed as if she would go on to attack me.


    It was just a familiar feeling I understood, but it wasn''t like I was always good with people so I just accepted it.


    Whatever happened will happen.


    So I tried to understand where that feeling was coming from.


    " If you wanted to. You could always use your sword to make up for me leaving you for dead."


    I drew a line across the bottom of my chin and I marked my heart.


    " It wouldn''t satisfy you."


    " You wouldn''t even feel a thing."


    She just looked at the sword sitting by her side and shut her eyes tiredly.


    "¡­"


    I walked away.


    " If you make it through this¡­"


    " A tongue wouldn''t be enough."


    Over my shoulder, I smiled sincerely at her warning.


    " I prefer the option where you try to make me fall madly in love with you first, If it works out then maybe we could move on to a red wedding." I shrug my shoulders to show her how I wasn''t considering it.


    "¡­" The strange girl sighed and stood up on her feet.


    Her sword reached her rib cage and she had a fit physique despite being someone who was very short and young.


    There was a sigil of a hunters association attached to her side something similar to that of a lion.


    " I will kill you."


    " I hope you do. It would be far better to die young than by something without a heart."


    I crossed my chest and waved goodbye.


    " Take care and¡ª-"


    "¡ª- May you perish wretchedly."


    I didn''t hear her response as the deafening sound of something crashed into the floor and took another life.


    [ You have watched it die.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    ¡­


    " 3 minutes." To find one statue that didn''t hold onto a weapon.


    There weren''t that many statues, but I considered the chances of what if someone managed to find out the puzzle to the dungeon on their own.


    It was best I took the one that was the furthest away and least likely to be chosen by the others.


    I stood in front of a musician holding onto a harp.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    The only thing that felt odd was that I had no vivid memory of reaching it.


    Like in Siphon.


    Often I would wake up in a blank state not knowing what I''d done.


    "¡­"


    " Your modification system is a series of ideas designed to create a simpler experience."


    " Would you like to offer your soul for a once-in-a-lifetime gesture¡­"


    [ A statue¡­]


    " I know you''re alive too¡­"


    [ A statue¡­]


    "¡­"


    [ A statue.]


    I sat beneath the statue classified as ''non-aggressive'' and I avoided looking at the ones that held weapons.


    Practicing my sacrificial personality as a devil was the only fun I could think off, because I was always on my own.


    [ You watched it die.]


    [ You have gained¡ª¡ª]


    " Be quiet."


    The only experience I learned from it was the possibility of what would happen to me too.


    The modification system had a bleak sense of humor for showing me things it thought as important for me to know about.


    It wasn''t like I could just turn it off.


    "¡­"


    There may be people being killed on the other side, but this must have been the first time I had relaxed without a care for anything.


    It was just¡­


    So good being here.


    [ This statue will not hurt you.]


    To rest underneath the heels of something created by a mass murderer and to know this life of mine won''t last because of haunting suicidal temptations, instead of natural death sequences.


    It just seemed normal at this point¡ª for me to think so fondly that if I were to go and die on my own accord.


    It wouldn''t really matter at all.


    I had a faint idea of how to live this life if I wanted to.


    1) Survive the first dungeon¡ª> 2) Then exit to a society where hunters fight against each other for no reason at all¡ª> 3) Hunt dungeons to prove your value to people who won''t even be there for you all your life¡ª> Then go on to witness the end of the world¡ª>4) To only have everything you ever known and invested time in, to watch it all vanish right in front of you. (Time reversal)¡ª> [ World End.]


    I''d rather exit life than go on like that.


    Instead of being a hunter. I''d rather start a milkshake business. I get to eat sweets and if it''s successful enough I''d be able to try a delicious mud cake with every meal of the day, to grow old and fat and lazy with the power to live how I please.


    And to make that dream fantastic. I would sell expensive milkshakes that give hunters the ability to grow stronger very quickly¡ª then die the next day and repeat the business in the next life.


    A disposable business that only appears once in a lifetime.


    "¡­"


    It seemed far better than always spending my life here simply just to be alive and watch many people go away.


    [ You watched it die.]


    [ You''ve gained experience.]


    I know that life would be better than this or if worst comes to worst and I lose my mind.


    There is always the option to become a real devil.


    One who offers hope in places fueled by mortal suffering.


    "¡­"


    My senile and dull emotions that have rotted from the years of apathy and idleness for being a No-Life were at its end and somewhere in my blackened heart I felt sad for those who were involved here.


    Although there was another side of me that wonders about the way they nonchalantly waltz into a dungeon.


    "¡­"


    Maybe by some rotten form of sympathy.


    God would show a miracle today.


    Like he always had done by doing nothing and just exist in the hearts of others,


    Cursing god what have I become, maybe I wasn''t happy that a real god didn''t come to greet me when I died and told me that I was a good little boy who could go back in time to save his sister from being sick, from having her being born a disable and live just like everyone else.


    "¡­" I fucking hated god and the devil and the school kids who took no effort in their jobs at fast food joints.


    I hate them all and myself for being a disposable and sacrificial flesh and human being, but I don''t really feel that way.


    I just tell myself I do.


    I don''t want to become senile and mad.


    I was lucky though.


    [ Branded by Siphon: Black Souls grant +10 stats in all parameters.]


    A mark scorched in the middle of a digit [005] that resembled the amount of black souls I had on my profile.


    A system that offered me anything I wanted if I were to simply die for it.


    An indefinite time to make and create experience with no permanent consequences.


    I had everything millions would simply die for in a heart beat.


    [ ] Al


    [LP: 8000, BAL: -000, Rank: E]


    [Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly]


    [Abilities (+)]


    [Black Souls:005]


    [ x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 ]


    But too bad that I developed an awful sacrificial personality who only wanted me to die.


    " What a wonderful world."


    ¡­


    " Lee-Johee!!!!"


    I turned away from the notification screen.


    There was someone I knew who ran with every breath she could muster.


    [ Do you wish to prevent the tragic ending of a main character?]


    [ There is no benefits or rewards for attempting this quest.]


    [ This quest was generated by a mere¡­ whim.]


    I noticed the way some decided to split away from her, because they were being targeted by the cruel lord.


    [ You can choose to simply ignore it.]


    [ Nothing will change.]


    " Jin!!!"


    " Lee-Johee!!!"


    It spared the others, but her.


    " Lee-Johee!!"


    "..." I heard a glass shatter and Miss healer fell over the organs of someone.


    She crashed and tumbled over the blood and she kept rolling with her feet entangled.


    The cruel lord smiled at her pain.


    " She isn''t moving." I heard someone say.


    She was breathing and her hands couldn''t stop trembling.


    The beautiful Miss Healer I saw in frames wasn''t as beautiful as the art depicted her.


    She bled from her right eye and she showed signs of extreme exhaustion.


    She slowly came to her senses, but when she saw that I was looking at her.


    It was a very long time since I had last seen such a sad look on a person''s face.


    "No¡­" She covered her face.


    There was a burning sensation in my chest as a response to the blood I saw on her and how familiar it all seemed to a moment before I joined Siphon.


    I bit down on the side of my tongue.


    I thought of that woman who took care off me.


    "¡­"


    I thought of something that could help her. However small it seemed because did not like that fact I was remembering something I chose to never think about again.


    The furthest statue was a few bodies away from one holding onto a spear, but the cruel lord stood in the way.


    Just the sight of his shadow was enough to paralyze her and its presence took over her mind completely.


    I was the only person who could see the fear, the pain.


    Any possible method that can prevent her from dying all came down to how much time was enough to run out and grab her and exchange places, but I remembered one important detail about this place.


    When it came to speed.


    The fastest hunter died because the cruel lord took notice.


    If I jumped out then I''d be the one responsible for turning her to ashes.


    I felt so sorry for her.


    "Miss Healer."


    I felt very sorry for her circumstance because I loved her character.


    She was someone who I was glad to have stayed alive until the very end, but¡­ It was just too bad.


    She wasn''t really alive in the story. Her existence was glossed over by the presence of a hunter who had the power of a Shadow Monarch.


    " Al¡­"


    " Yes?"


    Over her shoulder, the cruel lord raised his foot.


    She couldn''t see it, because I took her attention away.


    I thought she would scream like the others and hide herself the moment she noticed something was wrong.


    She looked at me as if knowing it would come to get her.


    Those dead eyes accepted everything.


    Sera showed something familiar before her operation.


    ''I don''t want to die.''


    '' You won''t. You will get better and we''ll go home.''


    '' It''s getting worse Al.''


    '' No don''t listen to them.''


    '' Don''t give up.''


    ''¡­''


    '' Please¡­''


    ''¡­''


    '' It''s okay Al.''


    '' No. You''re going to get better.''


    '' And we''ll go back home.''


    ''¡­''


    '' No more operations. No more hospitals.''


    ''¡­''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " What are you doing¡­?"


    " I''m doing what I wanted to."


    " Thinking of a normal way that would work out and maybe help you?"


    "¡­"


    " Because it seems as if no one here has decided to at least try."


    "¡­"


    " I don''t blame them. Most of us would rather avoid hurting. It''s just a normal instinct we have as a human beings. Don''t think so much about it Miss Healer."


    " You know yourself that they are good people." I smiled as I thought more about the words I had chosen to say.


    I didn''t blame the hunters who did not step out to do something about the cruel lord.


    Some people did die because they tried to help someone else before, and the evidence was written all over the floors.


    In blood, that was the answer for going out to help someone.


    Some tried to help us by screaming and detailing the obvious thing that we saw in front of us.


    Stand up¡ª Run and Run for your life again.


    What they didn''t know was that there was no saving someone who made the decision to not go on.


    To not live.


    I didn''t know what decision she had made, but I understood mine.


    "¡­" I walked out because I couldn''t stand those dead eyes she showed me.


    " You have a very pretty face."


    Miss healer seemed a lot different up close than how I remembered her.


    The memories of me standing by her side when Jin-woo was on the floor and healing him.


    She was not as healthy as I remembered, drained and without energy and the worst was that slight jerk she had as if wanting to look over her shoulder.


    I extended my hand and reached for the middle of her brows.


    " Don''t give up."


    " Choose life."


    I flicked the middle off her forehead, but for an odd reason, it almost seemed as if I hurt myself against a rock.


    "¡­" She reached out for the middle of her head and glared at me.


    I ignored her reaction because it was something that wouldn''t kill an ant.


    My fingers were slender and delicate and I didn''t feel any strength from them.


    I reached out for her foot because she couldn''t stand up on her own. All of the muscles in her calves were stiff and inflamed.


    "Am I hurting you?"


    She shook her head.


    It felt like the presence of the cruel lord behind her terrified her to the point she could only reply to me with physical prompts and slight gestures.


    I just smiled.


    " There is a problem. I''m not a healer or a doctor but from my experience." I voiced out my thoughts to her.


    " It will take some time for your legs to go back to normal."


    She just looked at her heels and how my fingers massaged the parts that were bad.


    " Maybe we could try jumping to different dimensions next time?" Like that person in a movie that allowed him to jump to different countries.


    "¡­"


    [ A phantom has manifested.]


    I found the entire scenario with her being mute to be familiar to my conversations with Sera when she was in the hospital.


    In my madness, I began to talk to myself without regard for miss healer sitting there.


    " Al¡­ I did what you had told me to."


    " Told you too¡­? You mean to kill yourself?"


    " I''m sorry¡­ I couldn''t¡ª-"


    " It''s okay," I said.


    " I couldn''t make it in time¡ª-"


    " Don''t worry about it!"


    Miss healer looked at me as if I was¡­ the odd one here.


    " I know what you are thinking. I could see it in the way you''re looking at me."


    " I''m very handsome right?."


    I was humiliating myself in front of a pretty girl.


    " I don''t know if you''re being silent by choice or if it''s very difficult right now."


    "¡­" I reached out to wipe a bit of blood that fell from her lips.


    " I think it''s normal to be afraid of things you can''t control."


    " We aren''t so different."


    " We can both die at any given moment."


    " So smile and think of the good moments you had lived until today."


    " This may be our last chance."


    I leaned over and stared into her eyes.


    " I would like to ask a question."


    " If this was all the time we had left."


    " Would you be my slave until the end?"


    I watched her lips twitch and shook her head violently.


    " That isn''t an answer."


    I reached out and flicked her brow.


    All my feelings subsided when my expression morphed and a shadow covered us.


    I shook my head to tell her I was right by her side.


    Between the two of us. I tried to show her that there isn''t a need to be so afraid.


    " Thinking and feeling will only make you lose your mind."


    She lowered her head and I reached out and placed my hand over her shoulder.


    " Listen to my voice." I couldn''t feel an ounce of her pain, but she showed them so vividly.


    At this moment, just a shadow was more exhausting than someone carving your chest open with bullets.


    It was always the slow process that was a lot more painful than what people callously described as death.


    They spoke as if they had never seen someone die in front of them before. All they did was glorify the part that did not even matter.


    The ending and not the process of it.


    " Come closer." I reached into her arms and hugged her.


    It was an uncomfortable embrace, I was merely counting the moments of time it would take for us to go, but I watched the faces of the others who stared at us underneath their statues.


    "¡­" I felt Miss healer lean against my head maybe out of exhaustion.


    I pressed into her for some sense of comfort for our situation.


    While they stood beneath their safe havens I tried to recreate the sensation I felt when I had last used Alter Reality.


    " Are you tired?"


    I felt her tremble in my arms.


    "¡­" I knew I was different from her.


    Here we were waiting for the impending doom and yet all I felt and thought about was comforting someone who is afraid to die.


    Acting as if I wasn''t in the same situation she was going through, but we both lived the same life.


    " I don''t want to see you die." I whispered.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]


    [ A memory has¡­]


    Everything was always dying right in front of me.


    Every day¡­


    '' Al we''re going out tonight right?''


    [ A memory had faded.]


    In Siphon.


    '' Mark him.''


    [ A memory had faded.]


    Nothing really mattered.


    I smiled at Miss Healer who was staring at me wiping my tears.


    I reached out and combed a strand of hair behind her ear.


    " You''re so pretty."


    I reached for her chin.


    " It''s too bad that I didn''t have the chance to hear your consent to be a slave."


    " You would have made for a lovely wife¡­"


    The phantoms who attacked the cruel lord faded the moment they touch him.


    I reached out my hand and suggested they stop trying and come back to me.


    I reached out for one.


    A small butterfly on the verge of fading.


    '' Al I told you you''re not allowed to go there.''


    '' But he was selling it for 100 dollars off.''


    '' You''re wasting money on cards!''


    '' But If I find one more card I could make more money!''


    '' Al!''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I watched its glow dim and fade through my fingers like mist.


    "¡­"


    Memories.


    The only thing that stays with a person when they die.


    It''s memories.


    I saw her lose a bit more of her energy when our surroundings grew darker than before.


    Her eyes stared intensely at the only miracle a few steps in front of her.


    Like a moth captivated by something warm, and illuminating, but unable to move its wings.


    A few seconds, A few steps away, One jump was all it took to escape this tragic ending for her.


    That''s what she hoped and believed, but I didn''t believe it.


    Things just felt so different this time around.


    The statues that surrounded us, the cruel lord who will murder them.


    Hope in her eyes was just as beautiful as the number of hunters who adjourned this dungeon with their red remains.


    Coating the walls, and imprinting their tragedy in the souls who remembered them die.


    I wanted to see her live and not be like them.


    I reached out to wipe those tears blurring her sight.


    I looked to the gate.


    The same gate I stood in front of and lost my head.


    " Is there people you love outside there?" I asked by her side.


    She replied by slowly shaking her head. She broke into tears more than when the cruel lord stood over us.


    " I''m sorry¡­"


    " Unfortunately. No-one is waiting outside for me to go back home."


    I held her hand.


    " Everyone I loved is already gone."


    I pulled her into an embrace.


    " It will be okay."


    I held her as if I was holding my sister that day she died.


    " God will a show miracle eventually..."


    [ All your phantoms have faded.]


    I raised my head to see the last fragments of phantoms dispersing.


    [ The cruel lord is attacking.]


    I pulled her close against my skin to shelter her from the image of the cruel lord who made the decision to kill.


    " It''s going to be okay." I shouted when I heard her scream.


    '' Doctor what''s happening to her?''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    "Don''t give up!"


    '' Al!!! Get out here!''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " Choose life."


    '' I don''t want to do this anymore.''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I watched glimpses of light manifest by our side as phantoms surrounded us.


    Despite the air being ripped away and the pieces of skin that dripped off the cruel lords'' feet over our heads.


    I reached in for Miss healers face as the image of our final moments together would only be a memory of painful torture, because of our short time left.


    I reached in and placed a kiss on the edge of her lips as a formal farewell.


    And like the glow that healed Jin-woo. I started to imagine that same power to change the things I saw.


    [ Passive Effect- Phantom Memory. The ability to evoke faded memories into holographic projections, but fades faster as time passes.]


    > [ Altered Effect- I don''t want to destroy life. Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make. They will seek out and alter imperfections.]


    All the wounds slowly mended and the blood as if time was affecting the process, bit by bit those traumas on her skin reverted.


    She looked just like the girl I fell in love with a very long time ago.


    " Like a princess."


    " Al¡­?"


    As I remembered I was able to bring back her voice.


    Although I felt a little happy.


    My hand couldn''t stop shaking.


    All my feelings and my senses went numb the moment it appeared, I just couldn''t tell why.


    [ Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make.]


    I reached out my hand to the place I kissed on her lips, because I felt something in me was fading.


    " You''re mine."


    " Until the moment I die."


    " You belong to me."


    "¡­"


    I reached for her lips and kissed her again, but the tasteless kiss we shared I couldn''t think of it.


    Something was hurting inside.


    What I thought would be a beautiful memory was nothing more than a wish-fulfillment that Miss Healer would comply with my desire.


    All I felt was just an emotionless kiss I had initiated and that made me lose interest in life.


    I pulled away from her when I noticed it.


    "¡­" She was confused and didn''t seem like she knew what happened and she looked at me as if trying to confirm what I had done to her.


    " Don''t think too much about it." I wiped the blood that I tasted from her.


    " It was only a kiss."


    "¡­"


    In place of her lack of affection.


    I simply smiled.


    I had forgotten one thing about others.


    I had forgotten how long it took for someone to do these things.


    I wasn''t used to showing affections.


    And I didn''t want to spend my life attempting to have someone else fall in love with me.


    "I-I''m sorry¡­"


    " That''s what I should be saying." I reached out to her shoulder and smiled.


    " I''m so lucky to have kissed you though."


    " Only if it lasted a little longer."


    After my words, I felt the smile on my face go away when I turned away from her.


    " Bye-Bye." Then darkness gripped my mind.


    [ You have activated Alter Reality.]


    ...


    There was nothing to keep me here, but to alter reality again.


    No words to say to soothe our time together.


    It was simply all meaningless the more I thought about it.


    In some way. No matter what I say or do.


    No one will remember me.


    So if nothing mattered at all then what can I do?


    I could always alter everything into something I wanted to see.


    A dark and twisted laughter escaped me as I thought about the reality of how I could never hold on to life as I had always told others people too.


    In the end.


    I chose to give up and choose death.


    "¡­" It always seemed to work out that way.


    " Al¡­"


    " Al!!!"


    I couldn''t really hear her voice, not over the visions and images I was seeing of a darkened silhouette standing over the dead.


    " Siphon."


    [ Hidden effect of Sacrificial Devil has activated.]


    [ Sacrificial Devil. Fated To Perish Wretchedly.]


    [ Hidden effect- Alter Reality.]


    [ The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.]


    [Your heart has rotted.]


    [ Your spine-


    [ Your-


    [ Your-


    [ Your body has been destroyed.]


    [ You watched it die.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    "¡­"


    I watched myself die again.


    Miss healer rushed over to the body and I knew she could not see me.


    I heard her call my name, but she rushed straight through me.


    I leaned over the side of her shoulder and placed my hand over it to comfort her from something I would always see.


    The death sequence of someone named Al.


    " Why¡­"


    " Why¡­"


    [ You have created a new ability.]


    [ Siphon.]


    " Al..." We had the same name, but I was sure the Al she was screaming for wasn''t me.


    We did not have that kind of history.


    So I stared from behind her, watching her grieve for some who wasn''t me.


    I thought about it a very long time ago.


    If I were God just for a day.


    What would I do?


    The answer had not left me even if years had gone by.


    All I wanted was Peace, Peace, and immunity to all crimes.


    Most people would like to work their way up and become a god and live a beautiful life, there was just something lacking about it.


    I could never see myself in that kind of world.


    So before I go.


    [ You''re on the verge of fading.]


    I''ll alter this reality as a sacrificial devil.


    I raised my head to the cruel lord and how he replicated a white god sitting callously on his throne overlooking an empty world and those golden eyes callously looking down at me.


    That was the power I wanted to die for.


    Something that belonged to the Absolute Being.


    " May you perish wretchedly." I bowed before the cruel lord and then to the statue in the distance holding onto a tablet with a hand over my chest.


    I recited the spell with the ability I had envisioned and phantoms emerged in the image of a beast that morphed between a spider, a butterfly, and a snake.


    An ethereal beast so large its body filled out the entire dungeon.


    [ A phantom has manifested in the world of the living.]


    It floated over him with its wings spread wide open, but no one could see it.


    No-one reacted.


    All I saw was a thin thread of purple aura linking around the Architect''s neck from the beast and then it faded.


    [~+~ has siphoned an ability from an entity in the range of personality construct.]


    [ Abilities siphoned by this effect: Blessing Of The Absolute Being.]


    The moment I saw the text I walked over to the body Miss healer was holding onto.


    She was holding onto him and not letting go.


    " Al¡­" I wondered if it was just my detachment from the dead that I can''t feel her pain, but from as a sacrificial devil.


    I stood before Miss healer even if she could not see me and it would only take a few moments for her to be like me too.


    I reached out my hand.


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    [Yes] or [ No]


    The same image I had remembered waking up to before my transfers.


    In this moment of death.


    I adjusted the modification to manifest in front of her and she raised her head to its light.


    " Do you wish to continue¡­?"


    She looked tiredly at the screen.


    " Al¡­ Is that you?"


    I listened to her speak to herself and she raised her head.


    "¡­"


    " Please¡­" I saw her hand fall through the option yes.


    The hologram faded in front of me.


    In her dismay at the system''s disappearance, I extended my hand and pressed my fingers in the middle of her brow.


    " You have gained a blessing from the Absolute being," I said to her.


    [ You have gained a blessing from the Absolute being.]


    " You have been blessed by a Sacrificial Devil"


    [ You have been blessed by a Cruel lord.]


    "¡­"


    " Raise your hand over his body."


    [ Reach out your hand over him.]


    I saw her do as I told her and I place my hand over hers.


    " Follow my instructions."


    [ Say the words.]


    She looked at the screen.


    " Arise." I said.


    [ Arise.]


    " Arise¡­"


    A twisted black aura manifested over him and cloaked him in purple.


    I smiled at the process of a shadow extraction emerging before my eyes.


    I saw a shadow manifest from my body and it looked nothing like a human, it stood in front of me with its head bowed lowly.


    It just stared at me as if it saw me.


    I raised my hand over his heart.


    " My dear Shadow Lord," I called him and like the first greeting, I was met with.


    I offered it my regards.


    " Welcome to this wonderful world."


    [ You''re personality is compatible with shadow transfers.]


    [ Do you wish to transfer into this body?]


    " Transfer."


    [ Your death process has been placed on hold.]


    [ You are being transferred¡ª-]


    ¡­


    The moment I heard the sound of someone crying.


    I felt submerged in something warm.


    [ An entity stares at you in fear.]


    Then I opened my eyes.


    [Your form has been altered.]


    I stared at my blackened ethereal hand that was on the verge of fading.


    [ You have been transferred into a Shadow Lord.]


    I remembered it was a body that could never truly die, but it was more than just that.


    So I was envious that I was born a human instead of a shadow.


    I felt everything from here.


    The life energy I had never seen before in all of them.


    The hunters, the statues, each one of them had a different color burning inside of them.


    I conjured an image in my mind.


    A purple sigil manifested from the aura that cloaked my form and a symbol of the Seal Of Orichalcos manifested by my will.


    [ This Spell is impervious to negation, destruction, and removal. Increase the ATK power of all your monsters by 500.]


    [ Monsters with less attack will not be targeted if there is a stronger monster still remaining on the field.]


    [The soul of whichever being loses this battle is forfeit to the winner.]


    [ You have no soul.]


    [ A field spell has been activated.]


    The insignia of Orichalcos reached out and extended over the dungeon.


    I could feel the numbers of life that existed within the field.


    Some were terrified by the way it illuminated the blood of those who have died previously into a fluorescent purple mixed with red and most looked at me in fear.


    I turned behind me to see the same look they gave on my dear Miss Healers'' face.


    She stood back as I reached out my hand.


    That short exchange was nothing I hadn''t seen before.


    I pushed for her brow.


    [ You have siphoned an ability.]


    A green aura began to manifest over it and I saw how its light darkened and corrupted by the color purple.


    [ A healing ability has been altered.]


    The only instinct I knew was to scatter its light over the forms and remains of hunters in this place and slowly like phantoms, their deformed flesh began to fade like how monarchs and rulers died in the scenes.


    They faded into fragments of tainted lights.


    [ An entity glares hatefully at you.]


    As their remains faded notifications of shadow extractions appeared over the field, but I ignored them all.


    I didn''t care for an army of Shadows.


    I preferred to be the only one.


    I showed no emotions to those who witnessed something only a few would see in their lives.


    [ An entity is watching you intensely.]


    The power of the Shadow Monarch was different from the ability of the Absolute Being at least the one I had in my control was a lot different than how I''d thought it would be.


    As if it were influenced by my ability to alter reality it felt like I did more than just conjure a shadow.


    I had gained the shadow''s memories too.


    I clasped my hands together and imagined a holographic blade with the abilities of the black aura that corroded the hunters'' forms.


    [ You have attained a past life weapon: Little Rod.]


    By a mere thought everything in sight shattered.


    The moment I pierced Little Rod into the skull of the cruel lord.


    Then a black aura manifested and exploded violently.


    The sky of the outside world burned in a scarlet light and the dungeon that surrounded us was no longer existing.


    Because of the two suns that shone brightly over us.


    It was the first time I saw the sky in this world.


    Even if it was only a dungeon.


    This was a beautiful scene.


    I raised my hand and extended my words over the entire area of my surroundings.


    Like what I had seen in my time before transfers.


    A system notification manifested by the hunters'' sides.


    The notification was sent to all humans.


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    Unlike before I left them without options.


    And in a single moment.


    I raised my little rod and split the air by my side.


    They saw their world outside that hole in the air.


    Whether to run out because of fear or chase the exit I created.


    It was not my concern.


    I raised my little rod and walked to where the Architect stood petrified by my presence or form.


    [ You are on the verge of fading.]


    Life as a milkshake businessman seemed more ideal than living as a shadow.


    I placed Little Rod on the ground and waited.


    " What¡­. Are¡­ you¡­" The Architect rose from the rumbles.


    " That power¡­"


    I extended my hand.


    [ Is nothing special.]


    I answered, but the Architect attacked.


    " You filthy¡­"


    " Ash born you betrayed!!¡ª"


    [ Fade.]


    I blew over my palm and the Architect withered before me into ashes of dust.


    [ You watched it die.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    I was not Ash-born, but I didn''t feel like saying it.


    He wouldn''t remember my response.


    In response to his erasure, all the statues crumbled and fell to their knees.


    I didn''t feel like I was powerful, because he couldn''t touch me.


    If I were just a mere hunter. It would just be the same thing again.


    I would still die.


    So I didn''t feel anything even when I saw the notification of his death.


    The system was callous and placed him in the same category as any other person who died in front of me.


    I pulled out Little Rod from the ground and wondered what I would do from there.


    I killed a being who was considered strong in this reality, but it didn''t feel as if it was something important.


    There was a rift that connected to someplace I did not know.


    I walked closer to the cruel lord, but there was a boy who stood there with a weapon raised toward me.


    Jin-woo''s trembled in fear.


    I recounted the commandments I could vividly remember.


    In all these transfers.


    These were the words that existed in this dungeon.


    [ Kneel before the cruel lord.]


    Almost immediately all the hunters bowed their heads.


    [ Praise the cruel lord.]


    All the hunters stared down in fear.


    [ Prove your faith.]


    I extended the blade and walked forward.


    [ And lastly.]


    [ Perish Wretchedly.]


    A black aura suppressed all life into the ground.


    The Seal Of Orichalcos glowed brightly as all life in my vicinity suffocated by my words.


    [ Tragedian has been activated.]


    I canceled the spell immediately when I noticed their life energy showing signs of dimming.


    I looked at my body which was in-cased in black crystals signs of deformity relating to the altered reality process of rotting.


    Black hair and was dressed in clothing that represented a simple plated armor that covered his body very lightly.


    He may not have looked like me, but I treated him as if we were the same.


    Without so much importance.


    [ Little Rod had dematerialized.]


    Like I had for the hunters.


    I ignited a blackened light over him.


    " S-Stop!! You can''t¡­" Jin-woo refused to step away from it and he pushed his hands into the light.


    " Ah!!!!!!!!!"


    [ An entity is watching you.]


    I noticed the purple aura that manifested invisibly behind Jin-woo a reflection of a large being they could not see.


    A knight encased by large shadows and a purple aura.


    I lowered my hand and snuffed out the jet-black aura that had been burning him.


    The light I had conjured to eliminate my did not stop until there was no evidence of myself


    Jin-woo lowered his head and shook violently.


    " No more¡­" And then he did something that made me feel sorry for him.


    He kneeled and prostrated on the ground while the surrounding hunters watched him bend on his knees.


    The astral projection of the Shadow Monarch flickered in and out of existence behind him as if it awaited something.


    I watched a small portion of my hand begin to disperse into fragments of fading light.


    Like a phantom.


    I was fading too.


    [¡­]


    I manifested a purple aura from a piece of my shadow and I raised my hand over my chest and bowed my head lowly to the figure they could not see.


    '' Al I told you to stop playing video games!''


    '' It''s not a video game mom!''


    '' It''s a novel! A book! A webtoon!''


    '' M-mom? Y-you bastard¡­ we''re the same age!''


    ''Get out of that dark room you No-Life!''


    [ An ability is on the verge of fading.]


    [ An ability is on the verge of fading.]


    [ An ability¡ª]


    I bowed my head to the tallest statue broken with a large hole that deformed his face.


    The monster who created all monsters.


    The Original Ruler of this world.


    I extended my hand over the face of the cruel lord.


    [ You have mended a stone statue.]


    [ An entity looks at you with sympathy.]


    Instead of the wicked and twisted smile I had seen in all my moments here. I created an image of the Absolute Being and what his expression would have looked like that day if he died in peace.


    [ You have flawlessly designed the exact image for the Absolute being before being betrayed by his creations.]


    [ You have altered this reality.]


    I stood over him. It looked nothing like stone, but a slender jade of polished quartz.


    [ Abilities of the Architect have been siphoned into your modification system.]


    [Statue Manipulation] [System Moderation.] [Ruler''s Authority.]


    [ You have attained shadow synchronization.]


    I thought a lot about the system and how useless it all was.


    All these walls of text of meaningless didn''t really matter in the end without or without it.


    Life would still go on the way it does.


    So I felt envious of the hunters when all of the dangers they had known vanished away.


    What they saw in front of them was just an illusion of peace. Some day somewhere, they will die.


    If not today, then tomorrow, and if not tomorrow somewhere else in the future.


    While they go on to live and remember today.


    I''d always be here and nothing would ever change.


    [ All shadows have dematerialized.]


    ¡ª You have died.¡ª


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]


    [ You will now be transferred to a past life.]

 CH 6: Al, The Trafficker of Siphon PT 1

    Something about the chills in my finger tips reminded me of being in Siphon.


    The resolve to accept things are ending.


    Not everyone has the heart to accept it''s over now.


    I remember a moment before this¡­


    When gunfire was the only sound you''d hear in the woods.


    The deafening screams that filled the air each moment you know they were trying everything they could to find you.


    And those screams belong to people who they had found while they hunted you for days.


    The scent of hair burning together with oil when they found me.


    The way armed soldiers tortured a man over a fire.


    How I remembered what it was like to be there when they scattered the limbs they had torn apart with an axe and the awful sound it made when I heard it fall against a tree.


    I can''t forget my life in that place.


    '' Remember to mark him.''


    It felt it was happening again.


    The vivid sensations or side effects of transfers.


    After knowing what would happen when I die and transfer.


    I had grown numb to the habit that  when I woke up in another body, things would often repeat itself.


    No matter who I woke up as or who I impersonated.


    I would vividly remember the last moments I had.


    A blessing or a curse. I always had this unbearable headache because of the gruesome killings I went through and how they started to played side by side infinitely in the corner of my vision.


    Unlike how notifications appeared.


    It felt more physical and for every-time I transferred.


    I remembered the final moments of my past lives, out of all of them.


    The first was blurred and the only one I could not see with the others, but I knew I was a No Life who had spent each day no different than the other.


    Like all the deaths I saw.


    I believed everything that happened to me in life, is all that I deserve.


    I lost friends because I was too different,  I attended the funeral of someone who unconditionally loved me.


    While I watched the gruesome killings of myself.


    The only thing that never left me was how I truly felt it  would have been far better if someone else lived instead of me.


    I know that they would have lived a much more interesting life than I could ever experience myself¡ª-


    ¡ª¡ª In Another Life.


    Words I would often recall hearing from the media, through songs, video games or even the bitter paragraphs written by anonymous users on /regret forums.


    A phrase that could mean hope or immeasurable pain.


    Those words were a bit closer to a bitter escape from reality for me.


    When you wake up each day strolling leisurely through life as if it weren''t any different from the day before.


    Refusing to grow or be better than the you yesterday.


    Mindlessly doing nothing for so long.


    Something inside you will fade.


    What faded in me?


    My desire to be something more than a No Life.


    I lived a good and comfortable life and I did some bad things to others, but I chose to be A No Life as it was the exit to everything.


    Most wanted to believe that I could do better, but I would often see the gruesome depictions of my body before I could think off my good future.


    I closed myself from reality and stayed far away from everything.


    Rather than wanting to live as someone with good qualities and aspirations.


    I was shown the vivid imagery of myself leaning against something lifelessly.


    No matter what I heard or read or taken the advice from people who knew about mental health.


    Living wasn''t an easy decision to live with.


    Surviving was too much when you can''t retain sanity and just like many lonely people I wanted love and kinship and friends too, but finding companions meant I had to live so hard for others.


    I was a lazy piece of shit, so I never considered that option.


    Living like others should never seemed enough for me.


    It was always based on how others wanted you to live.


    I hated change, but yearned for comfort.


    "¡­"


    The ideal of myself rotting against the side walk or being brutally tortured somewhere isolated was far more easier to understand than it was to wake up one day doing something that just might help you live.


    Being apart of a society.


    My mind couldn''t stand something as simple as that.


    No¡ª I did understand it, but I hated it.


    I loathed it.


    So I escaped from life, from everything.


    The things I saw in stories when something wrong happens to the protagonist, when they have nothing left and the deception where all it takes to resolve their darkness is friendship and kind words.


    Something that can prevent someone falling from grace.


    I never believed it and hated seeing such things.


    It never happened for me.


    When my sister died the only friends I had was pornography, video games and fan-fiction.


    There was people, but no-one can make you feel happy but yourself.


    Unlike friendship and kind words.


    I drowned myself in every filth I could think off to replace that feeling of love, and being wanted.


    The void that should be filled with good things.


    I drowned it to the brim, so I don''t have to live¡­ and it reached the point where I had forgotten what it was like to be a person.


    To learn how to walk or how to even talk again.


    All of it faded as I took the guilty pleasure of escaping to my inner world.


    A dark place that made me feel¡­ very warm.


    I had a low self esteem when it came to life, but it was so easy to force myself to function even if I knew I had rotted the inside of my mind after her passing.


    It was rotten before, but I saw how filthy I was after experiencing a moment of eternal bliss.


    I had wished that life was much simple then.


    In fact I had hoped for it.


    I had hoped it was similar to the feeling of when you started playing a video game.


    No matter what terrible things you encountered or seen.


    You could always start from zero.


    Leveling. Grinding. Answering the only best choices that leads to the best stages of a characters story route.


    I hated being alive.


    So instead of being a player for a game.


    I would just modify everything and skip all the story line, because It wasn''t that important to me.


    Why would I want to live as someone else.


    If I had already died in my head.


    Instead of being a player.


    I chose to be a MOD instead.


    I wanted to see all the moments and endings.


    The good and the bad without having to struggle for it.


    Why must I work so hard to reach it.


    When the best thing I could do is alter life.


    That''s what I had hoped life to be¡­.


    Like a video game that doesn''t take that much effort to live the way you wanted.


    ¡ªBut it never happened like how it does in video games.


    People die and the choices you make are remembered, but the thing that separates life from a video game.


    Is when your in a video game.


    Everything ends when you stop playing.


    In the real world, only you stop living in it and the world will continue without you.


    [ You have slain ???: Level 900000000000000.]


    [ Do you wish to reset your personality construct?]


    [ You have reached the end of this life.]


    [ Your character can''t go on.]


    [ To start over in another life: transfer into a new personality construct.]


    [ Your current personality construct will be destroyed.]


    [ Do you wish to transfer?]


    [Yes] - [No]


    ¡ª¡ª For all I had lived through even if it weren''t anything compared to others.


    Not once had I ever considered the thought.


    If I did B in another life maybe A would had never happened.


    Instead of hoping I was better or did something more.


    I don''t regret or desire to play god and prevent the death of my sister like how others desire to restart time and bring someone they love back from the dead.


    You learn very quickly how cruel life is and the only moments I got to see my sister were the times I wasn''t living.


    In my dreams she would be there waiting.


    I believe any normal person would never seek to bring someone they love back to the world of the living.


    So what are you going to do when they grow old?


    Turn back time?


    When they suffer from an incurable disease? Become a doctor that never exists in your era and cure them?


    When they are brutally murdered unsuspectingly?


    Go out and find those who did it and then bring her back from the death?


    If I were god.


    I wouldn''t change a thing.


    I did all I could do and should have done more, I loved her, but I could never know how to live a life where she would be alive.


    I was there when she¡ª-


    [ Do you desire to live in another life?]


    People should be righteous and choose to live through the choices you have made all the way until the end.


    [No]


    [ Your decision will have consequences.]


    [ All memories has faded.]


    [You have died.]


    I never had a desire to live.


    There was something inside of me that changed.


    The concept of death blurred when someone could cut open your chest and reach for your lungs and after the traumatic moments and the short patch of darkness in your memory.


    You open your eyes and  remember that feeling.


    The feeling of having your life taken from you, and you are still there.


    When you live for long, things take on a repeat.


    You become old and bored of seeing it happen and it does not change when you have the power to evade something common to all things living.


    It''s a weakness to be withdrawn from death.


    You stop fearing and you become comfortable.


    Comfortable makes you lazy and dumb in front of consequences.


    You become foolish and attempt to do things of that nature.


    I had an epiphany that In another life, I would be dead too.


    I would dream in my coffin like dead people do, with their eyes shut surrounded by nothing, but the air that smells like me, old musky and full of earth and I''d just dream of things.


    Like I was living as a boy who flunk out of college working at a burger station, an assassin who does not like to kill people, a lawyer who is unwilling to make good and reasonable decisions in front of the law, and experience life through these different lenses of many different people.


    I would hope to see the faces of people I care for, but know that if we did meet I would wake up soon after and our time together would end.


    If transfers were similar to a dream, then dreams was like tomorrow.


    Sometimes there won''t be a tomorrow for all of us.


    [ If every moment you can remember from your life was reborn again, in the form of phantom memories, projections, holographic imagery.]


    [ Would you start over?]


    I wouldn''t know if I could ever come to the decision to start over.


    Brain dance allowed a person to relive the experiences of someone else as if you were there yourself.


    Trauma was just as vivid and I''ve seen many things as someone whose become disconnected from life.


    Things I wished I never saw.


    Things I wished never occurred or knew.


    Like the faces of people you know and how one day you are dreaming sensations of them touching your face only to wake up minutes before you remember life took them away from you.


    [¡­]


    Compared to the purging of people when they are displaced from their homes and the fading expressions on their faces as they are violently tortured.


    The killing of so many and your perception of their circumstance changes when you understand.


    [That could have been you too.]


    Just like how they were killed or died¡ª


    Whether you are involved or aren''t, somewhere, someplace, somehow.


    Someone will be subjected to cruelty and there is no such thing as a peaceful death.


    All things perish wretchedly.


    ¡ª and some of us will suffer in the future because of it.


    [ You have transfered to a past life.]


    It felt like I was in a moving train, but it was the smell that got to me first, a stench of smoke and something sweet that made you want to stop breathing.


    Bliss.


    It was mixing with the cold and I felt uncomfortably numb.


    " What are you looking at?"


    I saw someone who appeared to be a soldier standing over a group of people, each one of them were sitting on their knees with their eyes looking down, but the youngest of the group: A young poor boy glared to the man with an assault rifle strapped onto his back.


    It was the calligraphy on his arm band that made it easy to identify that he was a trafficker because of the symbol of a blank hand with a curse mark in the middle.


    The mark of Siphon.


    I wore the same uniform.


    The white expressionless mask he wore coldly burnt my skin.


    That one sensation was all it took for me to remember.


    This was the first initiation mission before I became a trafficker in Siphon.


    A trafficker were people with very cheap morals, who did bad things for money.


    We did terrible things.


    Things I wished didn''t need to happen, because many people were killed because of it.


    Many were killed because they recognized who we were.


    Like instant fears humans had to spiders.


    They either killed you or just ran away.


    Regardless of what we option we faced.


    They were people.


    People made us money.


    I learned very through numerous contract missions about the cost of living was for people who worked as a trafficker.


    All you needed was weapon and the mindset to abduct others and sell them.


    The average lifespan of a trafficker in Siphon depended on many variables, but survival was the most important.


    Before I transferred.


    Two weeks was the longest I knew someone to have reached, before they were found in a shed with their hands chopped off and their head found at the bottom of a well, next to many others at the bottom.


    In my past life while I was on a contract many traffickers were found at the bottom of a well.


    It was a message sent by those who were persecuted by Siphon.


    I never wore a mask because of the message I found near the well.


    It was far better to look like a person them than it was to be seen as a symbol of terror.


    So I chose to never wear the mask given to us by our instructors.


    To become a trafficker wasn''t difficult, but It took a different state of mind to live with it all the way.


    Not everyone has the heart to sell someone.


    Moral sense was one of the enemies you would face when on a contract.


    When you encounter someone old who can''t move and you find they have lost parts of their memories or lost their mind.


    When you find a child with so many diseases on their bodies and unable to walk on their own.


    Selling someone wasn''t as simple as just finding someone and taking them because they fit the standards of those willing to pay for them.


    You were the one who made the decision and you have to live with that for every contract you take.


    I avoided anyone who reminded me of my sister, but I knew of many who took contracts that involved people who were like her.


    When you choose to be this thing.


    This thing who takes people and sells them.


    Your morals was sold the moment you accepted the contract.


    You were a trafficker and not a human being and you learned very quickly that people will resort to anything it takes to kill you.


    I''ve seen the deformed bodies of people who were shot because a trafficker survived an attack were a disable had a bomb hidden in their stomach.


    Not all of them were filled with bombs, but those we did find.


    The youngest that were always used in such attacks were children no younger than the age of 9.


    Traffickers were people, but In this place¡­ I''ve noticed humanity was always something that you can die from at any moment.


    It wasn''t a weakness, but bad things always happened when you were a trafficker and you acted on your kindness.


    The raiders behind those attacks innovated many ways to use people just to see you die.


    The trade off you were paid for being a trafficker was cheap and the effort and time it took before being killed was extremely exhausting to live with even when you did understand the dangers of the job.


    You were driven to go on, because when a person was sold to a Black Merchant.


    The average cost of a human life was $5000.


    Because of the attacks that happened when you were on a contract.


    It was a common strategy for there to be groups of traffickers working together to make the most money even if it were to split between others at the end of a trade.


    It was much easier to work together than to do it your own, but that was a delusion for those who were new to it.


    A strategy that only worked with much more experienced people.


    Would never work with desperate people who put their feelings and emotions before their role.


    A weakness I had seen in many people while I worked in Siphon.


    I saw it in that person.


    I had this strong feeling something was off about him.


    The way he lingered near the people.


    It almost seemed as if he wanted to antagonize them for what we had done to their village.


    In the distance grey smoke reached the sky and I saw a village burning in the distance.


    In Siphon, the absolute law is to kill anything that can kill you, but traffickers were nothing like the executioners.


    We were forced to find experiences by abduction and trade,


    Executioners¡­ were responsible for every bad thing and they were people who always lived in Siphon.


    We were just outsiders.


    I never understood why there were people who were willing to buy people, but I knew the people we sold were used in the attacks against raiders and enemies to Siphon.


    The people we captured could have been a family member of someone who killed people who worked for Siphon before.


    If someone knew that one of their own was on the battle field and forced to kill their family and friends their hatred would be tormented.


    The blood history between Siphon and The Raiders was very strong, but I felt the reasons why it was becoming dangerous was because we were carrying out active attacks on Raider territory every day.


    To capture someone they know and then use them on the front lines to capture more.


    Only a monster so wicked would make people think of such a thing.


    If all it took was for you to be given options of weapons and vehicles, the outfit and the tools needed to assist you, anyone just might consider being a trafficker.


    ¡ª but when you were told you would be taken care off and you go out on the field.


    You start to realize that everyone who is willing to kill you use the same weapons and the clothes they wear, just like the one you were given.


    The only thing that separates you and them apart is the mask you were given to show them.


    You belonged with Siphon.


    The rules that we should kill captives was never stated so each trafficker operated by our individual moral and that aligned with making money.


    But¡ª  money was never there when I was a No Life.


    Unlike the other traffickers who flew in from foreign nations for work.


    I never understood why I was able to be work for a long time.


    I didn''t know where my money went or how much I had.


    There was no atms or bank accounts, but there was settlements you would go to and receive your pay.


    The only safe haven in Siphon where you can experience the pleasures of a normal person was when you were near a Merchant.


    Money allowed you to live longer than most would be able too and it meant everything to those who worked for Siphon.


    You could buy upgrades to your weapons or even rid of your old one and buy a modified version of it.


    To buy new outfits or even go as far as buy armored vehicles to assist you on contracts.


    Drugs, body modifications, pleasure dens and auctions.


    To just be able to live one more day meant a lot to them.


    To take care of their family meant everything to them to the point they were willing to go so far to do better as a trafficker and stay alive.


    The worst thing they didn''t know was at the end of it all.


    No-one would ever be able to leave this place.


    We will all be replaced whether we die on the field or killed after we run out of our use.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    Those who came for family would never be able to see them ever again.


    I  had learned some people did do it to take care of their family, but many were like them and most didn''t know until the first day.


    While many did not want to be killed when they found out what they would be doing for the rest of their time here.


    I thought about reasons and why I was chose this.


    I didn''t have a story like theirs.


    I was raised in a place where people can survive, where the market prices of everything was considered cheap, but I still made a decision to be a trafficker instead of pursuing other goals that was available to me.


    I had options.


    Most of these people who joined had reason they came, like taking care of family, making enough money to support them, or they were all filled with so much hate or they had an intense desire to change their life.


    If someone would ask me.


    Why? The cheapest answer I would give is because I did it to protect my friend.


    The real answer?


    ¡ª¡ªI don''t know.


    Most people wanted you to give them a reason for them to understand why you would do something so terrible.


    ¡ª¡ª I didn''t have a reason to give.


    I didn''t have any reason to avoid it when it happened.


    All I know was.


    I did try living, and I almost died and things did not get any different after.


    So I stopped caring about what it would be like to be a good person and do good things.


    The train we were on was called [Phantom route].


    It was one of the major trade routes that was boarded by people within Siphon and it would go through mountains and rivers passes that were hidden far away from enemy intelligence.


    The natural environment for Siphon was heavily protected by nature and always raining.


    A natural enemy where death planes can''t see you or set off the entire horizon into flames with their bombs.


    I wasn''t so afraid of death planes that fly past, because frequent attacks of Raiders and other factions happened more than the presence of them.


    You become quite numb to things you''d know would happen.


    There was a time where I had tried shooting at them with a sniper when I saw one and expected it to work.


    In an ideal world I would had hoped such a thing could happen, but there was always a chance that something would go wrong.


    Since the Phantom routes were all within Siphon and every inch of its territory was a burial site.


    Traffickers did not have to think about a government or armed forces approaching you, everyday you just know someone will be killed and die.


    ¡ª¡ª There was no laws in Siphon, but Siphon had two absolute laws we understood.


    Kill and be killed.


    I watched the others who wore the same uniform, but my attention was drawn to the person who stayed far to close to the captives.


    Ever since the dungeon I noticed how my senses was sharper.


    The things I could hear, smell and see was different than I remembered.


    The worst was when I started to notice how I could always hear the pace of my heart beat because of it.


    " Would you mind if I hurt you?" I heard him whisper as he kneeled down and asked the boy.


    Speaking to them so intimately as if they were someone very close to him, but I noticed his hand and how close it dug into the stomach of one of the people sitting in front of him.


    An old man who kneeled before him was stabbed with a knife.


    The moment the trafficker reached out to block his voice, I heard his lungs squeeze, because of the noise he made.


    He was poked again and again for being loud enough for all of the traffickers to be alerted.


    That expression the boy showed as he saw it.


    I noticed how he looked just like the man.


    His expression reminded me of the moment when I made the decision to place my ears against my sisters chest, just to hear for a heart beat, because I never wanted to accept the doctor who told me she passed away.


    [ You''ve identified an entity inexperienced with death.]


    The worst part about losing someone isn''t knowing they aren''t by your side.


    It''s  living on without them as if you had been inflicted by a sickness that fades your memories.


    What I learned in my life was that despite my tolerance to cruelty.


    Others weren''t the same.


    The hate he showed the trafficker morphed when facing a loaded gun.


    The trafficker held a heavy revolver against the boys head.


    The other hand held a needle like knife that dug into the person laying on the floor near the boy side.


    I was drawn to the sound of the captives slow heart beat thumping at the same rate as mine.


    My sense were heightened enough to remember simillar symptoms a person would have gone through moments before they had passed away.


    I walked over and kneeled down beside him.


    I watched over the older man whose breathing was becoming deep and faint and I reached down to his chest to where I saw a short black hole that tore underneath his skin.


    And blood gushed out of it each time his chest sank from breathing.


    No-one was going to stop his bleeding.


    Not a single person here was going to allow it to happen, because he was a person.


    An people were to be sold, not to be taken care off, because helping them gives us nothing in return.


    That mindset was so deeply integrated in my memory that I remember the voice who said those words.


    I  pressed my hand over the wound on his chest and any attempts to stop his bleeding by binding the wound with a cloth didn''t seem like it was enough.


    Blood gush through and I saw through the inside of the small hole and saw his organs.


    Abduct and murder were my only experiences,  but he never let my hand go.


    " Hold on¡­" I said, but hold on for what I couldn''t do even attempt to control the extent of his blood even if I had covered it.


    I didn''t know how to help someone and I didn''t have the powers I had from in the dungeon.


    It wouldn''t manifest.


    Not a single light that could heal an arm showed or a manifestation of a sword that could fade a human body.


    I couldn''t feel anything here.


    No matter how  I thought about it in my mind.


    The illusion never came, but there was blood, his warm blood leaving his wounds and coloring his shirt.


    I felt like I was just holding onto another life knowing they were already going to die.


    Someone who has no experience at treating a wound, but imitating the things I''ve seen before, things done by other people without knowing the reasons why I was doing it.


    All I did was to cover the wound and apply intense pressure and to stop the bleeding, because in my mind.


    That was all that was needed to stop¡ª¡ª watching his chest heave as he took his last breaths.


    The most awful thing was how he didn''t notice his condition or what he was going through.


    He smiled at me and would speak to me unaware of everything around him.


    All I heard from his lips was the name of a person he would whisper in between his breaths when he looked at me.


    Calling out his name in language I knew wasn''t mine.


    He didn''t know that the hand he was holding onto didn''t belong the one he was calling for so affectionately.


    He was holding onto me very tightly, but even if he spoke with a different tongue.


    I felt his caring intentions.


    How he wanted me to listen to the trafficker who had stabbed him and if I just did enough, I wouldn''t be treated as badly anymore.


    All saying this in the same breath while coughing because of the blood.


    I could not manifest any power. I had an assumption that the ability of [Conversation] from the Architect allowed me to understand what he was saying.


    There was a moment where I wanted to stop him from speaking anymore and I felt him giving out, but he held on so strong through his sentence.


    All he did was worship the traffickers in his tongue.


    A devil worship where the one who spoke feared terrible things that happened if he spoke about anything but glory.


    He talked about being obedient to the traffickers, he stared straight forward, shaking uncontrollably with his eyes wide open and then his lips stopped moving.


    None of the captives who knew him attempted to do anything to help him.


    Not a single stepped forward to help me stop him from rattling and I believed they all shared the same as this man did.


    It was almost as if he were speaking to them.


    Obey the traffickers and you won''t be harmed.


    Obedience was the only thing that would keep them from being harmed.


    I remembered one of the hidden details only traffickers knew about.


    If someone attempted to harm a trafficker that was an indication that every other person who were held by them was to be rid off.


    The blood between Siphon was so pitch black that even I noticed from my time in Siphon those people whose hearts and instincts were stained from the killings of so many people.


    I knew why they feared us, but to hear it yourself was different.


    We weren''t anything like those people they feared.


    The man didn''t want to put the others in harms way.


    He didn''t want to see others die because of him.


    "¡­" Knowing that made me remember about the time I was killed by someone he feared.


    How I was punished for something I never did.


    After everything I had done against my morals.


    I was killed because something went against Siphon.


    It didn''t make any sense.


    Why I was the one who had been executed when I did nothing wrong and yet¡ª


    Someone did the same thing and no-one does anything here.


    I stared at the arm that wrapped softly into mine.


    The blood, his arm, the feeling of cold in my finger tips.


    All the memories of my life in Siphon crashed into a single moment and all I heard was the rapid pacing of my heart.


    ¡ª¡ª This isn''t the Siphon I know.


    A prejudice emotion filled my mind with twisted things.


    Killing one showed a traffickers intention that they didn''t really care about transferring them to a Merchant.


    ¡ª¡ªAn executioner would cut off his head for that.


    If one day you were told you could make a lot of money by working for someone and you  they had to do was exist in that role.


    ¡ª¡ª They would be shown no mercy.


    I knew what came to those who did not fulfill their roles.


    My body remembers the sensation of everything they had done to me.


    To kill captive within a group of traffickers was known to be one of the most taboo of things a fool could ever attempt as a trafficker.


    Many would be killed over something so little.


    Groups in Siphon were the most dangerous to be apart off.


    There were laws in Siphon and then there was something called Moral Sense.


    My moral sense told me to do nothing and do not get involved, but I saw two options that went against it.


    The one where I witness each and everyone of them kill of the rest of the captives or the other where we aren''t able to see a merchant and have to leave the train to find more villages to burn.


    ¡ª¡ª So what if we found more.


    ¡ª¡ª Even if we do find another.


    ¡ª¡ª What was going to stop him from killing one again.


    I thought about it.


    I really thought hard about it, but my intentions were empty and my mind was only focused on the blood of my hand and the image of the man who burned in the fire.


    [ Dad?]


    [ Dad?]


    I was able to see a notification of the modification system.


    It was so pale that I could barely read the words from it, but it flickered very dimly in front of me.


    The boy who I saw before was calling out to us in a different language.


    The man in my arms stopped shaking and calmed down once he heard that voice.


    I reached down to his chest and placed his arms to his side.


    His eyes were open.


    [ The worst fear for a father to experience is to be unable to protect their children, god wasn''t present to see his love.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    I shut them close.


    The pace of his heart beat stopped a few seconds after he heard the voice.


    I just stared for a long time.


    To the wound that took his life.


    " Is that thing dead already?"  I heard a voice call out from beside me.


    The trafficker holding onto the need-like knife blade poked his chest, and again.


    " Just to make sure."


    I couldn''t see his face because of the mask, but from his eyes.


    I saw he was happy.


    I stood up and brushed the blood I felt over my hands against my shirt, but I could still feel the wet from the sleeves.


    So I rolled them and saw the tattoos and marks over them.


    There was a mark of a Black hand with a curse mark in the middle on my skin.


    I knew I didn''t like tattoos, but to the mark of Siphon on me.


    I was reminded of the time.


    I was killed and marked.


    A mark, the thing I remembered was how it was seared into my skin.


    Although my mind was shifting between the different areas of the run down cabin.


    I noticed the apathy the traffickers showed.


    I couldn''t pull my eyes away from the person who was tormenting the boy over the body of his father.


    The words he said.


    The way he said them.


    ¡ª¡ª If I said those same words in front of that man.


    ¡ª¡ª Would he have killed me too?


    Remember to mark him.


    The only words I won''t ever forget and I couldn''t look away.


    There was this dark and twisting feeling spreading inside of my head.


    " I could be like your daddy."


    " All you have to do is listen to everything I say."


    " And if you are a good little boy¡ª"


    " I promise I won''t hurt you¡ª-"


    "¡­."


    " What you can''t speak English?"


    [ I will kill you!]


    " I don''t understand a single thing you said little shit."


    [ I will kill you! ]


    "¡­ then¡ª¡ª die¡ª-"


    It all happened so slowly when I saw he aimed the gun and began to pull on the trigger.


    How the captives turned their heads away and the young boy eyes widened in front of the weapon.


    The traffickers on the side who just watched.


    I was no different from them.


    I watched people die and watch them be killed when I knew I could off helped them.


    ¡ª Does it mean you have tolerate it?


    ¡ª If a person killed another before your eyes.


    = A person you wanted to help.


    ¡ª Is it normal to just accept? And do nothing?


    [ Sometimes¡ª¡ª When things never change all you could hope to do is alter and make changes to it even if that would mean things diverting to what you are originally know.]


    [ Morals, circumstances, decision making, common sense all of those things doesn''t exist to someone who lives so close to heaven.]


    [ Things don''t go according to the way you wanted, but it doesn''t mean you should tolerate something bitter.]


    [ Altering reality doesn''t need to extend to being a god.]


    [ It could be something as simple as adding a bit of sugar to a rich and bitter coffee.]


    [ In this case.]


    [ Making up for the lack of sweetness in life with a dish called cruelty.]


    [ All you need is kill.]


    [ You are trafficker.]


    [ This is who you are.]


    ¡ª¡ª Remember to mark him.


    Siphon.


    ¡ª-What was Siphon?


    A cruel place where humans hurt other humans.


    ¡ª¡ª What are you?


    Someone who worked for them.


    The sound of my heart beat raced as I thought about it.


    If nothing else entered my mind.


    It felt like I was going to be absorbed by something I couldn''t describe.


    Lust was the feeling I know you felt when you desired something pretty, but this thing wanted more.


    It weakened me with a strong compulsion that wanted me to act on my instincts and like the man who was burned that day.


    The uncomfortable feeling wanted me to be like the man who watched that person burn.


    Cruelty.


    Be cruel.


    ¡ªor be like the one burning and disposed off.


    Kill and be killed.


    I was already marked by them.


    I couldn''t describe the feeling that was cutting away from me when I saw it on my hand.


    But I know what I felt.


    It was some kind of rage.


    The kind that made me feel disconnected from feeling my body.


    "¡­"


    Although I couldn''t understand it or why I was feeling it now.


    That life, that Al who was filled with anger for what happened to me.


    I know I''m already dead and dead people should remain dead and buried in the ground.


    I didn''t need to be reminded or feel this to function.


    I fucking hate ghosts.


    Before I felt myself being swallowed up by it.


    I spoke to the captives in their tongue as the [ Conversation] distorted my voice to make them understand me.


    [ You will not be harmed by us.]


    I raised my hand to my chest.


    [ I promise.]


    That voice was enough to put the traffickers off.


    I did not need to use the power of Conversation to speak in their tongue.


    It was the voice that sounded like the man who died that swallowed their attention, but I pulled against my tongue and walked forward him.


    I puled out the gun I felt against my side.


    " Hey I will help you with them."  I asked.


    " You want to help?"


    I pulled on the switch on the side of the gun and stared straight forward and answered.


    " Let me start with the first one." I said.


    [ May you perish wretchedly.]


    I was behind the trafficker and over his shoulder without even registering the gun I had aimed above his brows after I touched his shoulder, before he could even say a single word.


    I fired, not once, or twice, I shot him to the amount I recalled feeling in memory when I saw the other traffickers and their stunted reaction to what I had done.


    I made a decision to go through past life experiences and show them the reality that comes with the job.


    The things I saw.


    They needed to understand what happens here in this shit hole of a place.


    I shot him  in the knee and he fell, but I didn''t stop until the gun could no longer fire, because of my heightened senses.


    I aimed for all the places that would not make him bleed out and I didn''t miss a single bullet.


    He turned to his side and I fired.


    He made a sound, I fired and that was when I saw the knife he used and reached out for it.


    The expression his eyes showed.


    I knew I wasn''t over the feeling yet.


    ¡ª¡ª Ever since I pulled the trigger.


    All I wanted was to kill.


    That powerful compulsion was the most thrilling feeling I had ever experienced in all my life.


    That desire too.


    [ Watch something die by your hands.]


    That feeling made my heart pulse to the point.


    I couldn''t think or feel anything, but the sound of a knife pushing into flesh and my own rapid heart beating along when an intense euphoria of warmth covered over my skin.


    The moment the thought embraced me.


    '' Al, I know you don''t like this, but some of us just can''t stand this place.''


    '' You''re no different from us and that''s why I don''t get it.''


    '' Why doesn''t any of this affect you?''


    '' You see this, Al.''


    '' Yes, It''s a cigarette filled to the brim with bliss.''


    ''¡­''


    '' It''s the only thing that shows me that there''s a world out there that we should see.''


    '' I wish there was another life where I didn''t bring us here.''


    '' We can''t stop.''


    '' Al¡­''


    '' We won''t stop.''


    '' Al. Stop it.''


    '' You rely on it.''


    '' You may close your eyes and dream of that world out there, but we are here.''


    '' We are here in this world. In this place. In these bodies.''


    '' After everything we have done. Do you believe anyone would accept us.''


    '' When this is all over and we get that money.''


    '' Tell me the world out there would let us live like we use too.''


    ''¡­ I don''t know.''


    '' We will follow our orders and after this contract we will leave.''


    '' That''s what you told me.''


    ''¡­''


    '' Al¡­ maybe one day. You should take bliss, because from here.''


    '' You''re more fucked up compared to everyone I know.''


    '' This is the last time.''


    '' And we''re going home.''


    '' Like always while you run everything.''


    '' I will be your cold hand.''


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I was overtaken by the memories, but my mind was already driven by something that made kindness pale in comparison and a bullet to the brain was the only miracle that would make me stop.


    I raised the knife beside his ear, but my hands moved on their own as it followed a memory.


    Under the compulsion I know won''t stop as long as the feelings still remains.


    Like how the image of my head pushed something inside, I saw my fingers react in the same way with the knife and I couldn''t turn away.


    Glued onto the eyes that stared at me from behind the mask.


    " Please don''t¡­."


    "¡­"


    " No¡­."


    " AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    It all stopped when the mask covering his face was broken and any features he had on his face was only left with the wounds of holes and blood it showed me.


    I saw captives.


    I saw traffickers, but I saw fear from their body language when I stopped stabbing.


    I saw myself covered with his blood and the rush in my head had not faded, but I noticed the numbness in my hands after a certain point.


    The dagger or the knife I had used was still clean despite the amounts of times it touched and changed his skin.


    My mind hadn''t fully adjusted to what I had done.


    It was like staring at something behind blurred lens.


    Other than the feeling to pick up the knife, I saw beneath the wounds and the scars that was now his face.


    His inability to protect himself and how it had shattered his mind into accepting being harm and tortured without any desire to retaliate no voice or expression to explain it.


    His body showed it and I understood that this was something I should never be forgiven for.


    ¡ªTo make up for one captive place.


    ¡ªYou need one more person.


    ¡ªAs long as they heart moves and they can be made to follow orders


    ¡ªThey would be bought.


    I didn''t understand how far I went or which part I was wrong.


    I just knew.


    [ A cruel display of Siphon brutality.]


    I could only stare as a body of flesh utterly deformed by bullets and knife wounds managed to sit up with his heart still beating.


    ¡ª I was no different than them.


    That was only thing I thought about when I saw it.


    My experiences with death allowed me to know how long a person could possibly survive for based on their physical trauma and condition, but I was not in right frame of mind to be able to confirm.


    I knew people were very fragile and tenacious, but I could see how much the mind was gone.


    If what he had done before was for thrill and amusement, then this action went against humanity.


    I deserved the worst death possible, but no-one would punish me here.


    We were already fiends who profited from human bodies.


    " He will be sold to them." It was unnatural tone that escaped my lips.


    One that seemed so empty and feigned of moral.


    Robotic and hollow.


    Despite knowing how similar I was to the man who ordered my killing, I couldn''t see as punishable by death.


    I was a ghost who was still alive.


    It felt like a fog was in the back of my mind bluing something that I know should have been there.


    I saw the gun in my left hand and the knife in the other.


    If it were an act of wanting to live. I showed no signs of resistances or an attempt to justify what I had done.


    Remembering cruelty you''ve experienced was a curse.


    I knew  the mind of a victim, because I''ve been there before.


    This is an atrocity that won''t ever be forgotten.


    Remembering cruelty would be like an infectious disease that continues to remind you it exists for as long as you live and it would only get worse.


    Even after what I had done to him.


    I didn''t feel wicked, evil any of those elements used to mock cruel people.


    I felt nothing, but acceptance that one day my actions would catch up to me, but I know that day won''t ever come.


    I was already dead.


    " Ah¡­. Ah¡­. Ah¡ª¡ª"


    I leaned against the gun when I heard his voice and as long my heart continued to beat.


    I was still alive in front of them.


    I could feel their eyes on me and it was also filled with their intentions of confusion and thoughts of to act.


    I spoke out to them.


    " Our role is to sell those who''ve been captured to Siphon."


    " The merchants accept the living."


    And I stood behind the man for them to see him completely.


    The captives were listening to our conversation.


    They had no freedom to move and ever since that man was killed.


    They remained there from there beginning.


    On their knees staring at the blood that was up to their heels.


    The traffickers were on edge because of the blade that was used and now pointed to them all.


    We weren''t allies. We weren''t friends. We weren''t colleagues.


    They know that.


    " Those who interfere with Siphon contracts will be subjected to such cruelties."


    " It does not matter if they are a captive, a trafficker or a human life."


    " Siphon is god."


    " You work for god¡­"


    I brushed the blade onto the shirt of the trafficker under me.


    " Anything you do and anything you say."


    " Is a reflection of how you treat god."


    I showed no remorse in my words despite us all being cut from the same sleeve.


    We were all traffickers, but we had sold our time to the devil called Siphon.


    My words did not match.


    The pain I was feeling, but these people needed to remember.


    Hate, cruelty, and malevolence was nothing in the face of Siphon.


    I felt torn in between two different people who were ordering different options to the same body.


    One wanted to stop sinking into a dark pit, but compulsion wanted me to drown and find the bottom.


    I pulled away the straps off his shoulders that held onto his body armor and opened a piece of cloth and exposed his neck.


    I was acting in the position as if I were a full fledge member of Siphon.


    My actions, My words, My gaze was to imitate that figure who killed me before as escape for the guilt what I''ve done.


    Two different thoughts of a single mind that could not fully accept their actions.


    I turned the knife in the side of his throat, marking him by twisting the blade through out his skin using the edge.


    He was so quiet, that even I knew if I were in his place. I could never be able to feel and not make a sound.


    It scared me to think I could be touching a corpse who had their eyes still open, but I heard his faint heart beat.


    It was thumping gently compared to mine, but the mask prevented them from seeing my expression.


    I stared at them while cutting through.


    I didn''t need to see what I was doing everything had been experienced on my body and imprinted into a memory where even I could imitate it without knowing what I was doing.


    It was seared into me by the edge of a burning blade instead of a hot iron with a mark.


    So I knew every crevice and turn needed to forge the mark of Siphon.


    I saw the symbol on their arm bands.


    Although they could feel themselves being marked, the trafficker wasn''t their anymore.


    I knew how terrible it was for him.


    He had ears to hear every word I had spoken.


    The man who was full of confidence and power reduced to this wretched form.


    I felt my mind sinking to something that did not belong to me.


    In an attempt save any morals I left to hold on too.


    I carved his skin as if he were one of the things that lived in the pig pen, but I wielded the knife very gently where pain was far less than the pressure I had applied moments before.


    After the mark was carved.


    My hands were stained  by both the sweat and I held onto sheds of skin that were pulled out.


    Underneath the silence I began to hear his muffled cries.


    All of it just completely rushed in after I saw the notification.


    [ You have fulfilled an executioners duty and remembered to mark them.]


    [ Your cruelty has imprinted a horrible memory onto them.]


    [ They will remember.]


    They will remember?


    There in the middle of  cabin the floor was two humans.


    One who layed on the floor without a heart beat.


    The other who sat on his knees without a mind.


    One who died 40 minutes ago and the other who ran between a series of laughing and crying in the span of a moment.


    His mind was gone.


    I know it would have been far better if he didn''t feel it to register the pain and the only way I thought of how it would work was to show a side of my memories¡­ that revolted me.


    Before I was a trafficker.


    I had known about the people who worked with Siphon without knowing it then.


    Their brutalities and the way they carried themselves.


    Most of the things I saw was beyond consequences.


    Yet here I was in acting the same image I had remembered as a child, but I feel as if my memories was distorted because of the transfers.


    I was never involved with them from the start.


    This was the first mission I had went through and failed and all the captives were killed.


    "¡­" It had been some time since the traffickers left.


    After ordering the captives to move away from this place.


    We had refused to see each other.


    So I was left alone with the ex-trafficker who would now be sold to make up for the one who died.


    [ Black Merchants are entities who are involved with the buying and selling of everything known to be bad. Although they are physical representation of illegal markets. Black Merchants are an dimensional interaction trading system designed by your Modification System.]


    I stared outside to the familiar sky as the train was taking us to Siphon territory to where they would be bought by a Black merchant who would make them into killers.


    ¡ª All of this for fucking money.


    I understand what kind of monster I was even if I couldn''t feel it without something confirming it.


    Somehow, Somewhere, Some day there would be someone who go on to commit far more terrible things than what I have done, but this could never be forgiven.


    I was a fucking fiend.


    I felt time was slower in this life.


    In the dungeon things moved to quickly and I died faster because of it.


    So I never got to experience much or be involved with anything important there.


    This was the first time I had ever felt I had done something that seem to stay for good.


    [ They will remember.]


    We had passed multiple fields and towns that were submerged in the after maths of wars, there were many buildings destroyed by explosions, empty vehicles that have long been burnt and small dark shadows laying on the floor.


    The blackened sky of Siphon was better without the sun.


    If it were so bright you''d be able to see things much more clearly as you past them on the Phantom Route.


    Although it was far away from where we were now.


    I remember a village.


    We had no food everything was gone long ago, I still remember what I saw in a shed that day and when you are overwhelmed by hunger and haven''t consumed any water for days.


    Your mind deteriorate along with morals and you find difficult decisions can be crossed so easily.


    I know my morals were dead because I would often think of dying and have no sense of regards for my own body, but the mind took a bit longer for the body to catch up with it.


    "¡­"


    This person I was or had become it was a time in my life where I can''t forget what those days was like underneath the blackened sky of Siphon.


    Like people have the memory of being with the people they love surrounded by kindness and family.


    I too had memories that can''t be shared with the living and the dead.


    As the train roared, I saw the fields and beyond it a burial site and the forests I was killed in.


    I made someone who won''t live on his own anymore and I might have killed him, but he chose to runaway to corner of his head.


    I burned years of my life indulging in manga, anime and webtoons and somehow I  had became this.


    It would be far better if I were to end up in a dungeon and be killed than to live and do anymore.


    I knew about the future of the Siphon I experienced.


    None of the traffickers now knew of the things that involved captives.


    They just believed they only needed to kidnap a person then deliver.


    I knew too much.


    They would turn him into a killer, but they won''t give him a weapon.


    They would leave his hands and feet since they can be used to dig into skin after some modifications to the bones in each finger.


    They would attach poison beneath his lever and slowly let it spread as it turns his saliva to spread diseases to anything he bites.


    Their bones will be hollowed out and replaced by dead marrows of an animal found from sunk a river of an oil spill.


    Even if I made him lose his mind a kind person would end his life and toss him of the train if they knew.


    Instead of letting him live on being harmed by someone else.


    This was my way of being kind, by breaking his mind and rendering him to the point where he could not be used by others.


    So when he becomes disposable in attacks made on Siphon.


    He would die immediately, unlike the rest who would live in pain and be hunted down by their own as if they are monsters.


    If I was a good person.


    The only way was to be the one to end his life before we reached a merchant.


    I tortured, I marked and I broke his mind.


    I was prepared to face my consequences even if the cheap price was to be killed or imprisoned, but this was something I couldn''t die with.


    While the captives were separated from us.


    I did not put the effort in disposing of the other on the floor.


    I left him there, but the trafficker didn''t seem to see notice the thing he was leaning against or feeling with his thumbs was a nose.


    Showing the actions of a curious child, but having the appearance of torture shown over each corner of his visible discolored skin.


    [ Do you regret?]


    I can''t answer if I did.


    The sensation was numbing.


    I sent him to a place where he watched from a corner and believed everything I had done was happening to someone else but him.


    A separate place some go to, because they can''t escape harm.


    "¡­"


    [ Your mind has altered your memories, the possibility of the trafficker being separated from their body after being tortured is true.]


    [ You''ve already experienced something similar before.]


    The moment I picked up that knife.


    I didn''t want to spend my life living in this moment.


    No matter how terrible of the things  I had done.


    I didn''t have the mindset to live with it, to live with the fact that no matter what I did.


    It wouldn''t affect me.


    So I can die.


    I''m sure if he had noticed it or never suspected me as being on his side.


    The possibility for him to notice I was going to kill him would have happened.


    I was just there first before he could retaliate and protect himself.


    It felt like I was rationalizing my actions, by using him,  but I made a decision to leave.


    I had no reason to be working in Siphon.


    I had no interest or energy to keep up with it''s wicked ways.


    The moment I don''t pay attention.


    I end up dead.


    That kind of life wasn''t the best experience and I don''t feel motivated to be in it again.


    I was never able to leave.


    After all that thought I turned and made a decision.


    " I will die, but I won''t explain how that would happen."


    " Let me tell you about what you would go through after it happens."


    " Your body will be bough and be used like an animal."


    " You will die."


    " You would die the most humane death you can think off, because you won''t be killed by people like me."


    " You will be killed by the people who hate us."


    " They will show mercy because they would believe you to be one of them."


    " I can promise it can be a swift and comfortable experience that only takes a few moments of consciousness before you go."


    " But I know you''ve become use to feeling pain. So a bullet will feel like a prick against the skin."


    I pulled out a  golden coin from my pocket.


    The head of a golden crow chewing on a bamboo stick and the opposite a snake that devoured its own tail.


    Although I was speaking to myself.


    I was thinking I was have a soothing confession about death.


    " On this coin."


    " Although I can just leave things as it is."


    " I still have a sense of conscience for my actions."


    "  The moment I flipped this coin it will decide how you will experience the rest of the moments of your life."


    I brought the coin between my fingers and moved it around my fingers.


    " Heads will mean mercy."


    I pulled out the gun and pointed to him cocking back the trigger I pointed to his face and spoke.


    " Tails will be hollow."


    I turned the coin and with a flick of my thumb I watched the coin fall and land onto the floor with the face of the snake that devoured its tail floating over blood.


    I pulled the gun down and watched as he picked up the coin and running his fingers over it.


    While he showed interest in the coin.


    He couldn''t see it.


    I cut out both of his eyes.


    After some time I mustered the effort and pulled onto the captive whose body had been laying on the floor.


    He was rather heavy, but I pulled him from both of the collars of his shirt.


    Then I opened the cabin door.


    It was large enough to be used to fill up cargo and often these kind of doors were used for crates and pallets.


    So I was large enough to place two of them side by side.


    The rush of cold wind burnt my skin.


    When the cold rushed through the wet sleeves of my skin.


    I saw the trafficker jump up and dash across the other side.


    The open wounds he had all over his body was recent.


    I had to turn away when he made an awful scream.


    Although his bloody footsteps imprinted my mind after I turned watching the scene of nature and life from a far.


    I pulled the captive over the edge of the door and watched he leaned on his side.


    If we both fell off the train I wondered what might happen.


    Burials were common among people who lived.


    That concept was never an option for all of us.


    The moment we passed a small tunnel.


    I let go and pushed him off the edge with my boots and caught a glimpse of the moment he hit into the bushes below.


    In a sense I felt like something was shifting inside of my head when I walked back and saw the bloody foot prints on the floor.


    I wondered about what would happen if the crow had showed.


    I had an idea in my head how I would kill him.


    A bullet to the heart, but without bullets from my gun.


    I would have turned his life around with the one that was always next to his side on the floor.


    I turned away, but I noticed the captives who were attracted by the sound and the boy  that stared out the cabin door where the blood trails led too.


    He caught me looking, then rushed to shut it close when a person called out his name.


    [ What happened?]


    [ Someone opened the door and it''s burning his wounds!]


    The young boy who saw his father die.


    Showed concern when the captives were trying to help the man.


    Whether it be the rage or the sadness that comes when someone you love passes away or a deep understanding that the person who did it is now in the same position as you, but far worse.


    He looked conflicted, but he was young enough to not be like us.


    They surrounded the man and we watched as the man laughed, holding onto a coin, he could not see.


    ¡ª¡ª I left after tossing the assault rifle out and removing anything that could be used, but I took the heavy revolver with me and moved over to the next cabin.


    ¡ª¡ª


    I had an idea of what was to come.


    It was lingering in my mind, thoughts of things ending.


    I processed through the numerous methods available to me, actions I could take in ending my life, but all of my ideas would focus on the heavy revolver I carried.


    A bullet to the head. A bullet to the heart. It had to be 3 shots.


    It had to be a instant black out.


    The pain had to be sharp, heavy and quick.


    So when I transfer.


    It would be like a blur I can''t remember feeling.


    I could vividly remember the lay out for the double dungeon. Although my experiences there was always cut short.


    Often I would realize my knowledge for the original story seemed to have faded each time I transfer.


    The memory of that place wasn''t so important for someone who doesn''t make it past the Architects Trials.


    The future meant so little to me, but I know I will be there soon.


    I looked back to every situation I had encountered instead of thinking about the captives who were locked in the cabin.


    Ever since the coin.


    I had this unnatural discomfort to go somewhere far away and the only thing I could think off was to transfer one more time.


    After leaving the cabin. It got to my that in this moment it had been almost 8 months since my sister past away and I had left my original life behind and joined Siphon.


    At this time many things had changed and was different than how I remembered.


    None of the captives lived and I left the group, because it was far better to be on my own than to be surrounded by people who did things I would kill someone for in a heart beat.


    It wasn''t the decision of the trafficker that led me into hunting people on my own.


    It just accumulated to the point where I''d rather be on my own, than to be surrounded by other people.


    Although I managed to link up with someone I knew.


    It was the apathy and disconnection from others that made me realize why I had always been a No Life.


    I wasn''t patient or worse interested in people.


    I learned from isolation for so many years.


    You didn''t need to be a social chameleon to survive.


    In fact you didn''t need anyone to live, to breathe, to feel, but when you realize these things.


    You start to become a dangerous person.


    Who sees every moving thing as a threat to your invisible territory.


    That feeling was hard to understand, but it never hurt me.


    I opened a door to the next cabin.


    I saw the luxury traffickers were, the money that came from selling people and how they all sat comfortably in the main interior of the train.


    Everything here was lavish and comfortable for someone of noble stature.


    This part of the cabin was renovated by a trafficker who owned a major district of Siphon and every seat, floor and table had some kind of jewelry or expensive decorations.


    One of the traffickers had his feet resting over a large statue of a panther made of out of gold and ruby crystals.


    The person who built the Phantom routes.


    This  was just a piece of comfort he wanted to share for people who worked in his profession.


    I saw how some of them didn''t want to look at me. I could feel their hostility.


    We all had our faces covered, but I took off my mask when I headed deeper into the next cabin.


    I left the interior and went to another cabin far in the back.


    Somewhere I could be alone without eyes to see. No-one had a reason to come here.


    It was the coldest part of the train and if you stood out here long enough.


    No-one would be surprised if you died.


    Since the wall had a graffiti that spelled out.


    Worlds End pointing toward a part of the train that had the cabin door exploded of it''s hinged.


    Unlike the other cabins this one was open to the harsh and freezing winds and the outside and without any protection from the constant traveling.


    Many captives who couldn''t bare to jump of the train were found in cased in ice here.


    Thats when I actually felt the chills in my finger tips and my face was freezing to bitter cold.


    I pulled the side of the blade I had taken from the trafficker up to see my face and I looked 15 years younger than I thought I felt.


    I looked just like my sister, but the expression I saw would never belong on her face.


    She was a good person.


    I watched as the cold blurred the my reflection.


    [ Your actions will have consequences.]


    The consequence I would face is staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.


    [ Solo Leveling transfer link has been established.]


    "¡­"


    I was exhausted.


    I''ve committed grave acts that went past moral boundaries again, but just as I think upon the atrocity that feeling would fade, but the memory would remain.


    The captives would be sold.


    The traffickers would go on to find more of them with the awareness that even they aren''t any different from them.


    All I''ve done was relive everything I knew through torture.


    How I had copied everything they did to me onto someone else.


    I''ve killed, but never thought of making others suffer


    Torture and cruelty.


    It was like an addiction, but your mind only focused on one thing.


    To bring as much harm and suffering without care for if they die.


    Not knowing what they can take.


    You explore that uncertainty through curiosity and imagery of pain.


    That feeling hadn''t stopped.


    I felt it in my chest burning.


    The temptation that desired to see more.


    So¡­ I listened and took a short deep breath.


    I know we would all die in Siphon and in life.


    Whether it be under a blackened sky or an orange one, or blue what ever color hovers over when you face the sun.


    In this life you come and you go, but I wanted to believe no-one had to suffer in pain.


    I didn''t want to be a fiend who worked for Siphon.


    I''d lose my mind while I am involved with them.


    So I reached for my gun that I couldn''t feel.


    [ This action will have consequences.]


    "¡­''


    Every action I had made in life was paid in death.


    Consequences¡­


    ¡ª¡ª I felt like I was immune to all crimes¡­ I''m already dead.


    If you can describe the last sound you''d hear from a gun when you die¡­


    I would call it nothing and I stared until my eyes closed slowly.


    -  YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED.


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]

 CH 6: Al, The Trafficker of Siphon PT 2

    If all it took was for you to just close your eyes and you know you would wake up somewhere different.


    I would pray to exit life.


    [ You have transferred.]


    There was this powerful desire for something to quench this thirst and rid of the foul taste behind my teeth.


    I had my eyes closed, but I had forgotten how to breath, through my nose, through my throat.


    So I forced open my eyes.


    It was just difficult to go through breathe when I saw I was being pulled from my collar, by someone¡ª-with a very scared and desperate expression on her face


    "¡­" I noticed the large brown fur coat she wore.


    Over my shoulder.


    A man was cut in two by a stone statue.


    One of the Architects puppets and I saw the Cruel Lord looking at us from behind him, not with an expression I''ve seen before.


    I shook the woman who kept running when I saw a small light appeared in front of his eyes.


    [ Your past memory has analyzed an ability: Heat Vision.]


    The same light that burned me.


    "¡­" Despite what I had done on train.


    I wasn''t able to do it right.


    The gun shot roared inside my head and I remembered when it crashed in my chest.


    I assumed I won''t live.


    A large part of my mind died motivation I thought of that time I said I would rather die inside of a dungeon than in Siphon.


    Only this happened to quickly than what I had expected.


    I had epiphany that only death would change things, because that''s what I experienced when I stabbed his face and shattered the temple.


    [ Your ability Shadow Lord can only be accessed through a Shadow extraction and transfer.]


    It didn''t bother me.


    You could only die so much to the point you began to not focus so much on it anymore.


    Since I would always transfer.


    A large part of my thoughts deteriorated after the train.


    I did not think of using alter reality, and I never really followed through with commiting to following the story line of Solo leveling.


    When everyone just needed to abide by the story.


    That option was over now.


    I''d end up somewhere else and be transfered.


    Whether it was done by the blinding light or my own decision to be killed.


    Transfer and be transfered by death.


    A useless scum without a brain to gather the motivation to do better.


    I know It wouldn''t phase me being hit by it, but I didn''t like how I was becoming use to it.


    I just kept on being killed and waking up alive.


    "¡­"


    I raised my hand.


    [ This is your Modification system¡ª¡ª-]


    The moment the status screen was to appear.


    A strong and familiar sensation trickled through my mind.


    Like the first time I felt the statue cut me from behind.


    I felt it, the image of a sword with killing intent that would aim for my lower neck and chop off my head.


    I wanted to turn to it, but there  was an energy boiling from the Cruel Lord''s direction and how long it would take to reach me.


    It would be the same moment I''d have my head cut.


    "¡­" I didn''t want to know anymore.


    I raised my hand out to see it again.


    [ This is your¡ª¡ª]


    " Al! Stop standing there! Run!"


    But someone pulled me.


    I wanted to know who dragging me by the collar.


    Pulling me as if I weighed nothing in their hands, with her tiny small fingers digging into my collar bone and I felt like admiring her idiotic desire and attempt to out run heat vision.


    Only a fool would attempt it while holding onto someone in front of the Cruel Lord.


    "¡­" I admired it, but I couldn''t remember a time where someone helped me, but she was a pretty woman with long bright orange hair, blue eyes, and pale skin.


    Miss Healer, she looked just her, when I saw her run straight with so much energy.


    They were too different.


    The bodies of hunters who had been killed during the elimination phase of the double dungeon each one of them laid on the floor and I saw as she rushed over them escaping to an area that was much further away from the statues.


    The gate that leads to the exit of the dungeon.


    This woman didn''t know.


    I never told them about the trials.


    "¡­" She pushed herself too hard.


    Unlike me she was someone whose heart could die out and never beat again.


    "  Leave me here."


    "¡­"  She was silent, but she never turned around.


    " Be quiet." I felt her fingers grip into a fist.


    " Then we''d both die." I reached out to the arm that pulled tightly against my collar.


    " I said be quiet. Al." Then I saw it.


    A sword hanging against her waist.


    I admired her fit body, but I won''t believe someone would go to this extent for me.


    I was a fiend, it just wouldn''t make sense for a hunter to rescue me, but it were someone who knew this body.


    I would understand.


    " I know how you''re feeling." I said.


    " But you shouldn''t die because of me."


    " If you let go¡­ It would be easier for you to live." The wonderful feeling of being a dead-man.


    Is being able to speak without a care of the world.


    That''s when I saw her look at me.


    "¡­" As if she were conflicted by what I had said.


    That feeling I had felt from my neck before and the sword resting by her side.


    I wanted to push the idea through her mind.


    " Give me your sword."


    She looked down to it and then her eyes met mine.


    " Wouldn''t it be far better if I was the person who died?"


    I reached the place I felt the killing intent before.


    " I-uh I¡­ sorry I was just thinking¡ª uh¡­" She knew.


    She knew I had sensed her intention to kill me.


    So I just laughed and fixed the front of my shirt.


    " You''re charming." I felt like I was staring at a comedian who didn''t know if they were doing dark humor or telling a children''s joke.


    Was it that conflicting to be confronted by something as pale as killing someone to survive.


    " I forgive you."¡ª but I was interested in what she wanted to do to me, but what laid underneath her clothes flooded my brain with sexual impulses.


    Since she resembled a girl I knew every inch of her body was something to focus on even if she looked out of breath and energy.


    It was the allure of an older looking Miss Healer counterpart that got me.


    "¡­" She just stared at me, because of the way I looked over her body and it was the best I had seen, but there was nothing more uncomfortable than strangers and emotionless sexual intentions.


    I couldn''t help my mind thinking of sex even if it was paying attention to what I had been keeping an eye on away from me.


    The cruel lord was still in the back of my mind.


    I looked back up to her eyes.


    " Sorry¡­" While my attention was drawn on her body, I was so focused on to the large aura of energy that was being channeled from the direction of the Cruel Lord that I barely heard her what she said.


    All my senses and focus was on the blinding light and how it was a lot bigger than the one I remembered.


    I felt the energy ignite and explode and saw her eyes move away from me.


    Whether it was the small that reflected through her or knowing that in an instant there would be certain death.


    I was already accustomed to this feeling of doom.


    I knew I was strong after I die.


    I had a modification system that allowed me to get anything I wanted if I died for it, but in this moment.


    I did not think of being strong or to escape the blast.


    I just want to feel alive.


    Even if I couldn''t feel it.


    To escape death was easy because off the internal spells I briefly remember receiving in the other lives here.


    Something that could immediately counter immediate abilities that you can''t escape in time.


    A spell that could end heat vision in mere seconds without having to resort to alter reality and death.


    [ Tragedian.]


    It was the only ability that came to mind.


    I knew everything that was involved with it and the cost it took to activate it''s power and I knew of it''s ability and how well it complimented cruelty.


    Cruelty¡­


    Tragedian was a kind of writer.


    There are those who write about different world, technology and exploring such creations using people as a medium to bring it to life.


    A Tragedian siphoned all forms memories involving cruelties that were created, perpetrated and experienced by every human from the creation of each world and transferred them into a book.


    There was something else they did besides archiving gruesome events.


    They had the ability to evoke power from words they spoke when reading through the book with an ability to alter reality through the vivid images that happened.


    A spell that can be cast without the use off mana, but the sacrifice of a thought instead.


    One of the abilities I had created for a monster I had designed a very long time ago, but I didn''t need a book to read the words out loud.


    I was the creator and all my words was death.


    [ You have gained a new title: The Idle Baphoment.]


    In the illumination of the violent orange glow.


    I reached out my hand over my chest.


    There was a sharp sensations that swept over me and I flicked my fingers.


    [ The Idle Baphomet passive has been activated.]


    [ Time snap: The ability to trap things within your awareness in an eternal moment. Time continues after you have touched an entity under the curse.]


    I extended the range influence to only the things that were in this place, but it didn''t stop heat vision.


    This ability was never intended to stop myself from being attacked.


    I imagined the heads of captives falling to the ground by orders of an executioner in Siphon and implemented my desire for it to be real.


    I didn''t need alter reality, but another power I already had available.


    To think of the worst ending imaginable.


    I took a deep breath and thought of things ending.


    It was also first step that made it a terrifying ability.


    ¡ª-To build a powerful combination of words.


    " And the queen of hearts said."


    ¡ª-Then evoke it through a powerful intent through your words.


    " Off with their heads."


    ¡ª-Then watch it taint and influence reality in front of you.


    I had whispered it.


    I didn''t mistake the boiling energy that warped and exploded in the air.


    Boom.


    The Cruel Lord lowered its head.


    [ The Black Tongue Of The Tragedian has activated.]


    There was only one person who I focused on when I said those words.


    When I envisioned a head falling off it''s shoulders.


    I turned my head to the only thing in this dungeon that was alive.


    The stone statue of an angel holding onto a tablet.


    I saw blood on the tablet and cursed blue like tattoos appear on his body.


    My senses were extremely heightened to the point where we were both so far from each-other yet I could see his expression when he saw blood leaking from the wounds on his arms.


    The black tongue of the tragedian to manifest anything I envisioned into reality and the things I saw was humans being killed.


    Human¡­ The Architect was anything but one of them and yet the Tragedian made him die like one.


    [ Who did this!!!!]


    [ Who cursed me!¡ª¡ª]


    [ You¡ª You did¡ª¡ª]


    Blue curse marks coursed over his arms to the point where even his face underneath the hood was shrouded with it.


    His head fell off his shoulders when he stepped forward and in the moment it touched the ground.


    [ The doctrine of the Idle Baphomet has activated.]


    [ Those marked by the Idle Baphomet will be killed without rest.]


    I found another notification one that took over the puppets that lost their control and without my intention.


    [ All your monsters will be controlled by ~+~ and orders will be carried out to initiate all out attacks on marked entities.]


    [ Monsters will continuously attack until there is no life left in them.]


    The system notification sent off an immediate order to kill until they are destroyed.


    Stone statues from each part of the dungeon raised their weapons and rushed to the fallen statue on the ground.


    " What is that?"


    " Why are they attacking that¡­"


    Monster.


    That''s what the Architect was called in Solo Leveling.


    Monarchs monsters¡­


    It made no difference what word they called them


    Since I too was just like him.


    We weren''t any different.


    I held the absolute control over everything the modification system siphoned from him in my past life.


    So I was also an Architect, A monster.


    But I felt nothing while I watched his body being attacked by the weapons of his own creation.


    I knew he was staring here.


    Out of all the hunters.


    I was the only one who did not show an expression of terror or fear, ever since the moment I woke up in this place.


    Since the beginning.


    I raised my hand out.


    [ I admire you.]


    Under the attacks of his own creation as I manifested system notifications only he could see.


    [ Your power.]


    There was only one statue I stopped from attacking him.


    Moments I remember in the precious life I lived.


    Where he questioned me as the Shadow Monarch and why he was betrayed when I killed him.


    In this life.


    I wonder what he would have said.


    Since.


    Ash-born power wasn''t apart of his death.


    The Cruel Lord.


    [ ¡ª¡ªIs mine.]


    He raised his eyes up to his most perfect creation as it raised it''s gigantic leg over him.


    [ Most gracious¡­ lord¡ª] I heard his last words and lowered my arm.


    [ You have gained experience.]


    They continued and attacked his body even after the system showed he died.


    I had no control over them.


    I felt a single tear fall down my right eye when I saw the statues act like humans by tearing off his arms, or ripping out the wings from his back.


    His head was already destroyed.


    They went for his body.


    If stone statues had feelings they would be hollow.


    All the statues stopped attacking the Architect once the blue markings on the Architect evaporated upon the notification.


    [ All marked targets have been hunted.]


    Throughout everything all I did was observe the inhumane display the modification system showed.


    The scene of stone statues hunting their own and relentlessly attacking it even it meant their arms broke because of the Architects strong body.


    In the middle of the temple it felt like I was the only monster left within a room full of hunters.


    All of them were unaware of what transpired.


    They had slowly come to the understanding that they weren''t the targets anymore and their expressions showed the emotions on their skin.


    Most of them cried and yet.


    Only one of them stared straight to me.


    The woman by my side who was intent on chopping of my head was just staring straight at me as if she knew.


    I was the one responsible for all of this.


    It might have been unintentional, but it was because of her that I remembered the executions that were carried out on traffickers.


    Before I could even think off Siphon.


    I moved the statues near the gate to open them for the ones who survived and those who didn''t make it before I transferred.


    I tended to them.


    While I saw relief and happiness from some of the living hunters.


    It was quite normal that such things wasn''t for everyone.


    They all had a grim expression on their faces as if they had escaped hell.


    While many mourned.


    I went on with picking up pieces torn from their body and placing them together on the dead limb by limb.


    I didn''t know why I decided to do it, but I couldn''t think of anything better.


    I remembered that I had siphoned another ability.


    One taken from Miss Healer.


    If I had attempted to reach out for her in this place.


    I never met her.


    I never met Jin-woo or any of the figures I know.


    I couldn''t care.


    They maybe the main characters in the world, but they weren''t the focus of my attention now.


    [ You have evoked a familiar energy.]


    Energy? I guess some people called it mana.


    When I saw something crawl through my fingers.


    I started to be drawn back to the moment I woke up in this place.


    If I had this power on the train¡­ maybe I would have never had tortured that person, but it would be troublesome to deal with the reality that someone could bring back the dead in that place.


    There was a reason things happen and healing someone in my eyes was considered the most greatest evil to someone who lived in an ordinary world.


    There was a reason witches were killed.


    This magic was foreign to everyones understanding, but I liked the way it wrapped around my skin.


    A warm energy made from light and all I did was reach out both arms towards the body of someone who was crushed.


    I pushed the light over the places that were disfigured the most.


    [ You have used heal.]


    If anything. The ability appeared almost similar to medical ninjutsu.


    The way you draw out both your hands and a light appears of a person.


    [ You have used heal.]


    Using this was really fucking cool.


    Instead of using hand signs I would see notifications that a memory has faded in the corner of my eye.


    Although I did not know what memory disappeared.


    I knew all any abilities I had always relied on the mechanic that my memories were used as sacrifice to use them.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    By mending the detach parts of a human body right to where it belongs and altering it to it''s previous state before destruction.


    Miss Healer ability seemed much closer to time alteration than it was in healing people when the system used it.


    I didn''t really think of anything else but keeping that glow bright.


    Although I did see shadows of silhouettes heading towards the gate.


    I never bothered to interact with those who did stay behind and watched me fix a person piece by piece.


    Some of them were saying things.


    My personality chose to simply ignore it.


    All I knew how to do was to just smile and wave.


    I disliked social interactions with strangers when they approached, but for some fucked up reason.


    I always seem to mind when I was the one invaded their privacy.


    I would just wave them off and hope they would return to their normal average life, but there was this uncomfortable sinking feeling I always had ever since I woke up in this place.


    If you knew the future and you understood that there will be a time where massacres would happen on every continent on the earth.


    Let''s just say that you know these things and you save the lives of people who were meant to die before that event.


    Would saving them be mercy or would it be just prolonging death, because in the future where monsters crawled on their hind legs and appear to be the size of mammoths or giants and fire breathing lizards that fill out the entire sky.


    Would leaving them to die by stone statues be considered a mercy.


    I wondered about it, but I could never come up with a good moral decision.


    ¡ªAll things die.


    It was a short answer to a thought that would often come and go.


    It was the best answer for someone who thought so much and felt so little.


    I severed my control over all the puppets within this place to ensure that the survivors did not have to be afraid of them.


    I made them tear of their arms, and I made them all break a part of themselves to make them unable to do anything to them.


    I was kind, but I just wanted to be in this place alone.


    The more that left.


    The less I needed to think of reasons why they decided to stay behind.


    I wasn''t a fool who did things for the moment.


    I over estimated my ability when it came to people who weren''t me.


    Just something as little as killing the architect wasn''t really enough for me to think life would go exactly how I thought in my head.


    So I took measures that would make sure things would be stay the way I thought after I made them happen.


    People were skeptical by nature and if something terrible that happened to you ended without knowing the reason why.


    They would assume something terrible has happened.


    Whether they take this as a miracle or not all depends on the human mind hunters share.


    Some of them were holding out that there must be another boss monster waiting in the dark.


    Maybe the silhouette of the Shadow Monarch that showed after the architect died was that monster, but unfortunately for them.


    He was only glaring too me.


    [ An entity stares at you with hostility.]


    [ After you had destroyed the Architect. You''ve  defiled the body of The Cruel Lord by pissing on the image of the Absolute Being in the presence of Ashborn the Shadow Monarch.]


    All I did was take a dip and murmur about curses about the Absolute Being.


    I didn''t think that Ashborn would be there listening to me talk on my own.


    I felt like taking a piss.


    When would I ever get such a luxury.


    Ever since the moment I called The Absolute Being a pacifist because of how he died to his own creations and felt the urge to piss on the Cruel Lords heels.


    He had been following me like a ghost.


    I did not mind since it was something I knew the others wouldn''t see, but it annoyed me to see the hunters who kept searching for something.


    There was not a single piece of treasure to be found in this place after the boss of a dungeon is killed, besides the inheritance of the Shadow Monarch and¡ª¡ª


    The system gifted by the Architect.


    Something I had taken in my past life.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    They won''t get anything.


    The Architect was a prude and love his statues more than treasures and complexed game systems.


    Unless you were a player.


    You''d find nothing here.


    But I held two system windows opened side by side.


    [ This is your Modification System.] ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª- [ This is a system siphoned from the Architect.]


    As much as people would be happy to see it.


    I wasn''t.


    I know I wouldn''t be able to have fun with them in the way others would.


    I wish that was the case.


    Go out become powerful, Bang a brain dead girl whose body could stand fucking every single day without peeing blood, then make bank by hunting dungeons and all that fun.


    Yeah that sounds cool¡­


    For someone who is normal.


    I couldn''t stop myself from doing stupid things.


    So I never considered what I can do in the future if I even had one¡­ I had many, but  relationship with life always expires fast.


    Live brief, Die quick.


    That''s how my life seems to be.


    So I just carried on with stitching back the pieces of humans remains together and mending their bodies back to a state where they were once people too.


    The things I saw¡­ reminded me of Siphon.


    Only that instead of human crimes.


    All of this were committed by monsters.


    People could do the same thing too.


    It was just hard to believe that the people in Siphon were the same as monsters.


    As I was immersed in the mending of one of the dead hunters.


    It became comfortably abnormal to not notice the woman I saw before trailing me.


    When I walked somewhere she would shadow my position.


    If I perhaps took a piss near the wall of the dungeon. I believed she would have followed along.


    If I were to describe Miss Healer when she was older, she would have looked a lot like her, but less stalking and more... Let''s fuck on any surface because she has an addiction to cock¡ª¡ª Well if I played my cards right and simped my whole life away in a transfer this could be possible¡­ for the Miss Healer in my mind.


    I killed myself on the train, because I knew I would be here. I wasn''t thinking of living.


    It was just an idea, not a full fledged out line of the future.


    My identity in Siphon was this other person who became something, but it wasn''t because of the death of my sister as much as I would have liked that to be the truth.


    I consented to the role of a trafficker, from boredom, being a No Life wasn''t as glorious.


    It had a lot of shit attached to it.


    The living conditions was a mess.


    No comfortable income can only be tolerated by me.


    There was just a lot of things that came with living with insanity that a person could take since watching anime and webtoons is something many people just glorify without explaining why.


    Your love for fan-fictions and anime doesn''t make you live a better life.


    It turns you into shit with a beard  and a shrunken dick when you don''t take care of yourself.


    It happened to me.


    So instead of seeing nothing changed.


    I went out and made a decision.


    I joined Siphon.


    I should have become a night market vendor instead.


    [ Heal has been applied.] Instead of seeing the same thing over again.


    I would alter the words the system used every time I tried to mend someone and some cases.


    I''d miss around with the system.


    [ The woman behind you farted and it smells like pig blood.]


    Or I would just say.


    [ The milf behind you thinks you are dumb use heal and turn her blonde so her opinion about you changes.]


    Anything to rid my thoughts of that place.


    Mending the dead was my only way for bleeding time


    Anyone would be excited to be in Solo Leveling, but for me.


    This was just another place I would wake too when I''m killed.


    So I planned to live it through even if it means I would end in another life again.


    Using the system was starting to take an affect on me.


    I hadn''t realized that I still could not understand the passage of time.


    Sometime I''m just so drawn into something that I don''t ever remember where I was.


    My body worked mindlessly on it''s own without me thinking.


    I forced myself to smile to the beautiful woman who was by my side watching.


    It was the feeling of wanting to have a warm shower that made me stare long at my  blood soaked hands, but the words I wanted ask her.


    Why she was still here disappeared when I saw her reach out to her side and offer me a human hand.


    " Can I be of any assistance?" She said it in this sweet and soothing tone.


    I stared into her eyes aware of the arm and the body it would have belong too.


    The photographic memories the puppets had and who they killed entered my mind the moment my connection severed.


    So I had an idea of where and who they belonged too.


    "¡­ but you are already pleasing to eye." Every thing I could vomit and muster without  feeling anything made me think of the reasons why I had to stay away from people.


    "¡­" She just looked to the side with both her hands holding on to the arm.


    [ She wants to be of service¡­]


    Her body was more than enough.


    I knew where the bodies remained.


    I understand how I could retain the memory of the statues, but how I could clearly find it just by thought that was different.


    It had no relationship with any of my abilities that came with alter reality.


    I reached out for the arm.


    " Thanks¡­" I said it awkwardly and placed it by my side since I wasn''t finished with the person on the floor.


    I continued mending him.


    The woman I felt her stare at the light in front of me, at first her eyes were intense when she saw the green glow, I noticed how she  never said anything, but I assume that she did have words to say.


    Hunters were people too...?


    " You have a lot of experience with this¡­."


    It was funny when I heard it.


    I had no experience, but this pain inside of my head must be showing my experience with dying.


    " Does it look cool?"  It was an odd way to say it, but this life means nothing.


    It wouldn''t hurt to have some fun even if it mean spilling bullshit out of my ass.


    "¡­" She was silent.


    " You don''t feel tired?" She spoke as if she were more concerned that I would exhaust myself if I keep using it.


    It had been sometime in a sense, but it was just fading memories.


    It almost seemed as if I had a lot of memories even if I don''t remember living for so long.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " There''s a psychological tumor inside my head."


    "¡­"


    I was going to say that because of a beautiful woman like you is here I''m always active, but yeah that died down fast.


    " If I were tired or it becomes too much for me, It only takes a moment to not notice."


    Memories were a cheap price to pay if all of the good ones weren''t there for you to remember..


    If that means it would erase all the horrors I know.


    Then I would gladly mend humans together.


    I didn''t show it. I kept those emotions inside and stared straight forward when I saw the light fading.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    This woman and I had barely interacted since that one time I saw her staring at me after the death of a Monarch and yet here we were having a conversation.


    Mending the dead back to how they were before they were killed was just my way of ignoring the silence.


    Like how I killed the Architect.


    I didn''t have a good reason for it, but they way she looked at me each time I released mend.


    I wasn''t smart, but I knew there were many reasons for a person to watch you use mend and stay by your side through the entire process.


    They could be someone who had seen things in their life and for her to make such a happy expression and the way tears fell from  here eyes when mend was over.


    She didn''t cry for most, but ever since the beginning I could tell that there were people she knew, but I felt nothing, because what I saw when I looked at their faces was a blur.


    From where I was.


    It wasn''t a person I was looking at, but a disfigured corpse of someone who had their facial features removed.


    I know it was a just a hallucination blurring it, but it was my memory that made them look that way.


    I know they were normal, but I saw something different.


    I felt repulsed when that twisted feeling I had on the train came to mind when I saw it.


    Mending became slow when moving to a different person and then retracing the steps of where a limb was or watching the memories of the statues as they killed the hunters and being in a place.


    That was only a stream of blood leaking to many places.


    Each time I was unsure where a part was.


    I revisit the moment they were killed and I''d watch it over and over until they looked like someone again.


    Mend felt like I reliving the deaths of a person, and recreating them before the moment they were killed.


    "¡­"


    I stood over the person who would always die each time I woke up here.


    This large man who wore a large green jacket and couldn''t get a better hair cut.


    Like Mr Panda. He was also one of the main cast who was shown in the webtoon.


    " Is this someone you know?" I asked the woman.


    It had been so long, but my question alerted her immediately.


    She stood by my side this whole time and with a finger underneath her chin.


    I watched her take a very long time in her thoughts.


    I moved a bit closer and waited.


    I would see her eyes slowly look at me and then away.


    " Maybe¡­ Maybe not."


    The moment I heard it.


    I raised my hand.


    " I¡ª"


    I began to mend his body together again.


    "¡­"  I looked over my shoulder at her.


    The conversation about her knowing him wasn''t important to me.


    " Have you ever thought of learning this?" I watched the green energy glow from my hands and after the time I spent on using it.


    I measured the amount of time to mend a human body together if it was completely destroyed it would be about 30 minutes and for those that weren''t as destroyed.


    Lower than 10 depending on the condition they experienced before death.


    I believed that it could be improved the more time you spent.


    The woman looked at stomach that was stitching itself together piece by piece.


    The same stare she showed for all of them.


    I watch her smile as she said. " I don''t deserve it."


    I reached out for her arm and she stared as I touched her brow.


    There was something about the way she looked at me that reminded me so much of Miss Healer.


    There was this tension I felt when we were close and I saw her stare in my eyes.


    Whether it was because of those blue eyes or my infidelity with moral sense and invading others boundaries.


    I moved with my feelings.


    Regrets and mistakes are for those who can''t face consequences.


    Things I don''t fear as a dead man.


    I pulled in and kissed her.


    It was a place on the edge of her lips.


    Why I didn''t kiss her all the way¡ª because kissing isn''t attractive unless the other person was interested in you.


    " You remind me off a slave."


    " Terribly obedient."


    " Follows behind me like I''m your owner."


    The moment I said those words.


    Her expression morphed from shock, but she didn''t respond and stood there listening to words I remembered saying to Miss Healer in multiple points of the lives I lived here.


    I was probing something from her.


    A reaction.  Evidence.


    They looked too simillar.


    " When a person is this close, is it an immediate instinct to not move away?" I was close to her lips, but the feeling of lust was evident, because I was interested in the things she had said.


    " If you don''t anything. I might move too close."


    The more she was silent.


    The more I lost interest in her identity.


    I wanted her to tell me, but I was comfortable not knowing.


    So when I reached out my hand and a mist from the energy moved in front of her.


    I caught the moment it seemed as if she were drawn into another memory.


    To see that expression every time it showed.


    I whispered beside her ear.


    " I believe you¡­  You would be an expectational healer." It was eyes that always glowed when she saw it.


    That made me interested in her.


    Not everyone has that seduction to something like she had shown.


    So after knowing she can tolerate being kissed by someone who smelled strongly off blood.


    I pulled her head close and moved her eyes away from that glow.


    I combed a strand of her hair behind her ears.


    "¡­" I reached in for the side of her body as I felt myself almost about to be drowned by a strong sexual desire to pleasure her.


    She didn''t turn away.


    " It would be wonderful to have a slave who can heal me."


    " You have an awful personality."


    " It''s quite terrible¡­"


    I held on both side of her cheeks so she wouldn''t get away from me.


    " Terrible things need to be said¡­"


    I pulled her in slow my complete attention only focused on her lips, her teeth behind them and that long red tongue I wanted to feel.


    " I need to know the tolerance of the one I''m conversing with¡­"


    I drew closer¡­


    " What they can take¡­"


    Like a vampire¡­


    " What they can feel¡­"


    I desired only the finest pleasure¡­


    " And show them something¡­"


    " They would rarely ever see¡­"


    I took her arms and assembled them over my shoulders and watch her looking down at the hands wrapped over waist.


    " I''m in love¡­" There''s a chill when I said those words.


    The kind I felt before.


    Like something just might end my life if I went a bit closer.


    I saw the empty expression wash over her the moment I touched the sword she was wearing.


    " Al."


    If I were scared. I''d have stopped, but I moved my hand away and reached up for the side of her ribs and admired her body.


    " Just when life gets messed up¡­" I pulled away from her and stepped in closer where I could bite onto her ear.


    " Sorry darling¡­ I wanted to control myself."


    I pulled out her sword from her side and moved back from the arm that reached out too me.


    " That is very unsettling dear."


    " Give it back." Underneath her cold undertones of violence and murder.


    I pulled the sword much closer.


    It was just a simple dull sword, but it was appeared to be the same sword I called Little Rod.


    Although it was long and a bit crude in it''s appearance with it''s jet black body and silver edges.


    I did not pull out the weapon to anger her.


    It was just a sign of interest since this was something that could have been used to end my life.


    I was quite interested.


    So I pulled it against my throat, right at the corner I remembered.


    " Mend, requires a sacrifice to be used."


    I pulled down onto the handle and felt it reach far across my throat to the point where even I could feel the layer of skin being pulled apart.


    I needed my voice to convey my desire to her that I was borrowing her precious sword to teach her, but from where she stood.


    I wouldn''t be surprised if she wanted me to be over with it.


    The air around her was quite dark.


    So I stopped with the seduction play.


    Mending was a game mechanic from mine-craft that required the experience of a player to fix an equipment by diminishing a level by the amount of experience orbs used as a sacrifice.


    " I can''t use mend if I''m dead."


    I took the sword down and stared at the blood that I can''t feel coursing out of a slight cut I made below my chin.


    " I don''t feel like using it when I''m hurt."


    I walked forward and handed back her sword.


    " Life would be easy¡ª¡ª "


    " ¡ª¡ª If there had been strong people who were instead."


    I saw her take a hold of the handle and didn''t say a word, but the moment she placed it back in the scabbard that dark atmosphere around her slowly went away.


    Just like her blade.


    I replicated the light in my hand to copy it''s form and held the light underneath her chin.


    " The ability to reverse harm¡ª-"


    Then I pulled the sword of light against my thumb and instead of blood being spilled after I cut it.


    It vanished away.


    [ Mend: The ability to reverse.]


    [ Fade: The ability to end.]


    I was longer without thumb.


    So blood just spilled over the rest my arm.


    Instead of carrying on.


    I turned away from her and sat down to mend the incomplete healing of a body while receiving the memory of the stone statue who cut him open in two.


    I responded by increasing the strength of the light to it''s maximum range.


    [ A memory has faded]


    And I fed memories into the light to increase the time of healing.


    " Don''t think of me as a good person for doing this¡ª-"


    " I hate hunters."


    " I hate people."


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " I believe life would be more interesting if no-one had to die."


    " But I feel that it wouldn''t feel normal if it was taken away."


    " No-one should be allowed to be left behind."


    " This isn''t the human world."


    What was it like to die in a place that is not your home.


    Loneliness.


    When you know no-one would come and bring your body home and you are left to rot somewhere far away.


    If there was one wish I believe all dead share.


    It''s the desire to be received and be buried in place they wish to belong.


    The ability to heal someone was a disturbing evil, but dieing anywhere that wasn''t earth would be the last thing a  hunter would ever think about.


    On earth they go out and bring the bodies of the dead, but some would spend their whole lives trying to find a person they love.


    Why do I hope some people die?


    Because they are stupid enough to be involved with something that could affect others.


    I don''t care if their families are wiped out or aren''t able to survive on their own.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I don''t care if they are brutally tortured and unable to return.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " Only those who have nothing deserve to die here."


    " You fucking idiot." I pulled onto the collar of the man.


    The moments of his life and how his wife waited for him at home with their unborn children.


    " In another life, I hope you buy me coffee. The most delicious local burger and a gun¡­"


    I pulled onto his jacket that was split in two and placed it over his body.


    " In this life she would see you as the man she loves and would never know what happened here."


    [ A memory has faded.]


    " May you perish wretchedly."


    I dropped my hands as the sinking feeling came in when I could no longer see anyone to mend.


    [ You have received the gratitude of dead and shed sympathy on those who were brutally killed by The Architect.]


    [ Your actions have changed this reality forever.]


    [ She won''t forget.]


    [ All family''s related to those who died in the double dungeon arc will remember you for as long as they live.]


    [ You won''t ever be forgotten.]


    I didn''t care if anyone remembered, but I felt some tears fall from my eyes.


    I know¡­


    I would always be dead.


    I turned around when the notification of the system faded away.


    I didn''t know what to call her.


    Miss healer only belonged to one person I know.


    I wanted to ignore how she saw me talking to them.


    I remembered her interest in healing was beyond simple fascination, from her gaze it seemed more like worship.


    Once the light died from my hands.


    I saw her smile.


    The man was still a dead man, but his form wasn''t as before.


    All of them were like that.


    They looked as if they were just sleeping with their eyes close.


    " Thank you."


    Those words was something I didn''t want to hear.


    She didn''t know that in the others times I was here.


    All I did was watch them die.


    I could have saved them, but I didn''t.


    The  death of the Architect was nothing more than just a means to past time.


    I would return here until the day I could no longer be able to transfer again.


    Thank you?


    For what?


    Nothing has changed.


    Things were silent now.


    It would be loud again the next time I go.


    I watched the decorations in the temple that the Architect created for them.


    None of the hunters were here, but the dead who were neatly aligned together and ready to be received by the Korean Hunter Association because I''m such a nice person.


    I had no idea what had happened to them in the original story.


    Never bothered to read the novel, but I hoped something similar had happened and if not then I''m should be blessed with 7 wives who are eternally submissive to my small cock and terrible personality.


    While the world moves on and only focuses on the aftermath of the survivors.


    I will care for the dead, in hopes that in my next transfer something good happens for for doing good things.


    I wish to be blessed by a miracle and stop praying on a bullet.


    I lifted the man and pulled his body next to another and formed a long line.


    " Execuse me¡­"


    It was as if centipedes were dancing over my back and crawling along my throat.


    When I had just noticed the person who was speaking and how the two of them wore the black tuxedos.


    I felt like someone wanted me to go.


    One of them had a face that I remembered seeing quite often in the webtoon.


    A person who could stand between two S Rank Guild Masters and future chair man of The Korean Hunter Association, but for the life of me I could not remember his name.


    I just stared to him and his friend.


    From the moment I had finished mending the final hunter.


    Notifications for the modifications system began roaring in the corner of my vision, but instead of a good rest and relaxation.


    All my intentions I was going to use on sleep was now focused on all the methods I would use to avoid interacting with¡ª


    Bothersome human beings.


    That was all it took for me to go back beside the woman who had grown ill from me and I showed her how I ignore physical barriers when it came to the skin by conversation.


    No matter what happened after I touched her sword.


    I would apologize by not doing it in another life, but this life here.


    Rather to be assaulted by questions.


    I believed in one sided negotiations and dead-man learning communicate with the living.


    One step forward they came.


    " We were told there were signs of battle and many were¡ª¡ª."


    " Look." I saw his partner say as he pointed at me.


    In that short moment I had crossed over near the woman and I stared at them while attaching my arms around her waist.


    Although they tried to hide it,  all those they presumed to have dead and or deformed were all laid out neatly in a row ready to be received.


    But fucking hunters had to pay attention to every detail that goes on.


    The suspicion that crossed one of their faces was enough for me to assume someone had given them some sort of information about the conditions of the hunters.


    That was my observation from what I what assumed from his silence.


    " Al¡­ You''re latching on to me."


    " I''m forging a desperate escape plan."


    "¡­ You.."  If it meant that my last attempts on feeling the sexy body of a woman would result in death.


    So be¡­ it¡­.


    " Al¡­"


    I fiddled around the side of her stomach and pulled gently.


    " It tickles¡­" I had both of my hands caught by hers.


    [ Shit. I got fucked.] After learning the language of the captives I started to curse in their tongue.


    I never enjoyed silent interrogations and prefer to be the only one that should keep his silence and receive answers without saying a word.


    Being direct and honest would have saved a lot of people from being killed in Siphon.


    A common trait I considered to be valuable in social interaction was the ability to forge your own understanding of what ever event happens around you.


    Although I tossed that thought away and spoke in pure and brutal honesty as one of them.


    I considered sharing valuable information in exchange for something I desired.


    " Not a single heart beat left in them." I said it enough for the hunters to hear me.


    My nonchalance was met with a certain look I felt from my left side.


    That woman did not seem to like what I was saying or maybe it was the way I pulled her closer and she felt it press into her back.


    The emotions roared on it''s own.


    The cock had it''s own mind.


    What ever happened down there could only be felt up here.


    I didn''t initiate anything further, but we were fucking too close.


    Although the two hunters were just looking at us.


    I knew they were paying attention to everything.


    " Is this all of them?"


    " I checked them all myself."


    " I understand." I could feel his eyes and how they shrunk to the blood in my hands.


    It wasn''t only my hands each part of body had some form of blood.


    Drenched in their scent whether it be man, woman or the insides of a monster.


    Everything that didn''t survive was on my skin and their bodies tainted my clothes and light armor.


    It didn''t have to take a dog to know¡­ I wasn''t apart of the killing, but It can only take a vulture to poke their beak into my arm to find out whether I was really part of it or not.


    I noticed how I showed no fear or was submitted by any forms of physical and mental pressure the others would have shown in front of them.


    Korean Hunters Association wasn''t as intimidating at the woman who looked at me with wide eyes over her shoulder.


    That sunken expression as she looked down.


    I turned away.


    " You can''t be serious."


    " I might be a little comfortable, but I''m a dead person alright¡­"


    As much as that feeling euphoria mixed with pleasure filled me.


    My mind, like my cock was beginning to tire down because I remembered I was a dead-man.


    And it killed all my feelings, because of  the organization they made me remember.


    No matter what it was like to have a beauty in your arms.


    I felt dead inside.


    "¡­"


    The only organization I knew was one that killed their own.


    A member of the Hunter Association did not have anything to do with Siphon, but I know men who were defined by loyalty and carried out their organizations will and for people to be like that within Siphon.


    They were the worst of humans.


    Strong. Intelligent and considered highly dangerous among their peers.


    I had no energy to go on to speak to the future chair man of the Korean Hunters Association.


    If I knew how to lie through my teeth. I would''ve preached a bible about the end of the world, about Monarchs¡ª about the ability to see a step into the future¡ª about how I came back through time, but it was so hard to breathe when all I could feel was this immense pressure evoking from inside.


    As I continued to plotted to talk about nothing but sweet things.


    I had the mind to create the biggest cult in the world.


    My social interaction with reality was rock bottom 25%


    If there was something I dislike more than life.


    It could be interrogations.


    So I believed that the woman who I thought was much better than me with her pretty hair and blue eyes and cold lips deserved to take my role as a sacrifice in all my future conversations, because I have no interest in speaking to them or repeating myself in future transfers to come.


    Maybe I was blessed to have someone who could take everything I don''t want to deal with this time.


    My perfect sacrificial pawn.


    The woman who looks like Miss Healer.


    I hugged her gently enough where I could bury her.


    " Al¡­. Why are you looking at me like that?"


    The closer I reached for her ears, the darker my expression got as I thought about it.


    " You''re a hunter right?" I blew behind her ear and aimed her body towards the other two.


    " Walk forward and talk to your friends. I''m very stress and tired from using my abilities." As I faked a cough.


    I continued to express the opposite of what I  was feeling, but she just looked at me over her shoulder and gawked as I tipped her all of the best ways and things to say to the hunters.


    " So you tell them you did it."


    Blah¡ª Blah¡ª¡ª Every stupid thing I could think from my ass.


    Although there was so many things I whispered passionately through her ears they all said one thing.


    Lie through your teeth and cover for me.


    " Do you understand?" Was the last thing I told her as she just stood there silently.


    With her slumped down shoulders and her extinguish desire she was haunted by expression as I noticed her desire to not go through it.


    " Is it that hard to tell the truth yourself?"


    I reached out and placed my hand over her shoulder.


    " Yes comrade, it seems exhausting." I answered.


    " Then how do I explain what happened to the others? What if they ask about the thing with their bodies?"


    " God showed them a miracle."


    " Bullshit¡­!"


    I glared at her playfully.


    " Al just tell them yourself."


    I glared at her with a lot of spite.


    I pointed a finger behind her spine and circled over her fit and soft curves rather delicately.


    " He appeared in a moment when all hope was lost and said I will save your life and¡ª¡ª"


    " All bullshit!" She spurted out in response to another bull shit I was carving up.


    I grew impatient with her antagonistic views on my ideas of escaping interrogation.


    So I shoved her into position.


    "¡ª¡ª And now from the graces of god."


    " You ass¡ª¡ªlying¡ª"


    "You are now his loyal slave who would do anything to carry out his will in this life until death." I didn''t want to say so much, because there was a dark prompting I was beginning to feel as I spoke about death and curses and rainbows and how butterflies stopped time.


    It was too much for my mouth to keep up with.


    The same feeling I had briefly felt when I spoke with the Black Tongue Of The Tragedian.


    There were many reasons why I couldn''t say anything and most of it had to do with the way I spoke.


    I had no control over what would happen because of my voice all I knew was.


    Something else needed to take the hit for me and then I caressed the side of her stomach and whispered beside her ear.


    " If you can do this for me¡­ that power¡­ will be yours."  There was odd sense of silence after I said those words.


    It didn''t work.


    So I reached under her armor and she glared from over her shoulder.


    " Al¡­" And started to tug on the hands reaching up her stomach.


    " Wouldn''t you like a submissive body that would follow each and everyone of your orders."


    " Anything you desire¡­ and I''ll be what ever you want."


    " A slave. An object¡­"


    " I''ll be yours¡­."


    There was this cold look she gave after she snatched my arms tight.


    It was like I had to communicate with this vixen and give her something better.


    I thought about it.


    What would be something that could make her my pawn and the only answer I could think off was not how she stared at mend, but the emotions behind her gaze.


    The memories that made her look at me that way.


    I could be wrong, but I could at least make a simple failure in this assumption.


    The worst that outcome was finding the quickest way to die.


    " If you do this for me."


    " I can give you at shot at the miracle you''ve always wanted."


    " What?"


    I pulled her closer as if she were a fish on my line.


    " Your sword¡­ The way you watched me help them¡­"


    " You remember don''t you?"


    There was this uncomfortable feeling as If I was invading some sort of territory without knowing what I was talking about.


    " Do this for me."


    " And I swear on my heart thats you feel beating in this chest."


    " I will show you a miracle."


    My expressions was on point with the savy devil charming handsome man I had in my head.


    My voice was deep enough to sound like a jazz singer with an affectionate amount of authenticity, but it was my eyes that I felt were wrong.


    It wasn''t as able to change and be perfect as everything else.


    There was this silent smile she showed when I saw her eyes turn away.


    A soft voice that would say anything would help, but I saw her laugh softly with her eyes closed.


    " You poor thing¡­" I felt her fingers reach my face.


    " Are you¡­ in love with me?"


    My response was quick that I couldn''t plot something else to say her.


    " No."


    " I want you to take the hit for me."


    " Take the hit?"


    " You know I''m not good with people."


    There was this sad eyes she showed me.


    " Yeah¡­ you''re very terrible at this."


    I only stared straight into her eyes.


    " I mean every word I said."


    I lied my heart out and would never remember anything I said.


    "  What did you say when we first me?"


    " I don''t know."


    She frowned.


    " Al."


    " Yes?"


    " What''s my name?"


    It took awhile¡­ It took a long while¡­


    I had no words to say, but to not hide it.


    I kept my silence and just kept looking to her eyes that sharpened.


    I felt something sharp poke into my shoulders.


    " When¡­?"


    " I don''t know."


    " So this entire time¡ª¡ª"


    " I was being honest."


    "¡­ Honest¡­ he says¡­"


    To save myself from losing her.


    " Think of this as a favor."


    " A favor?"


    " That''s right."


    " You saved them all."


    The woman who I had been talking to this whole time.


    Something in her expression changed as I shifted my idea of luring her to be a sacrifical pawn.


    Now I had no options left but to make her wear a suicidal vest and walk straight to them for me.


    Anything to avoid conversation with those hunters.


    I was willing to go as far as I could.


    " I know you could''ve killed me."


    " But I didn''t do it."


    " Right¡­ but if you had."


    " You would have used your powers¡ª¡ª"


    I brought my head closer to hers just so she could know.


    " Do you really believe that?"


    "¡­"


    I saw her close her eyes and pulled my face close and I felt the dryness of her lips press gently against mine.


    She let go of my shoulder.


    " I was going to speak to them, Al."


    "¡­"


    " You were being funny and all desperate with not wanting to talk with them."


    " I was curious to see how far you would go."


    I felt insulted.


    " You see I thought back then if we both were going to die. It''d be better if I was the one who did it, instead of that thing¡­"


    There was not a single ounce of remorse in her tone.


    Just a simple smile that did not compliment a single word she said.


    " You would have done the same for me right?"


    " No¡­You''ve insulted me and my feelings."


    " Hm¡­"


    If it were an act.


    I wasn''t sure how to rate her.


    " Is it so bad?"


    She looked determined, but extremely nervous.


    " Maybe¡­ It depends on perspective."


    " Okay¡­ I''m ready." I don''t know if she was fucking with me, but her immediate burst of enthusiasm was enough to make me forget that she wasn''t actually a submissive slave, but someone who can think and feel on her own and enjoyed fucking with you.


    Although she showed enthusiasm for something as simple as this.


    Just that was enough to make me feel this way.


    I extended my hand on the right side of her shoulder.


    " Then may your perish wretchedly"


    " What¡­?"


    A black notification screen appeared in front of her.


    [ You have been tasked with an important mission: Decieve the vultures of The Korean Hunters Association to become a player.]


    [ Rewards for completely this mission: Mend: An ability to reverse time.]


    " Mend¡­"


    [ Failure for fulfilling this task: Unknown.]


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    [ Yes] or [ No]


    Without hesitation in heart I felt her made her decision.


    There was this strange gleam she showed me.


    I dished out the worst insults I could through the system, but it never turned up.


    [ You''ve accepted this mission.]


    [ Show them your lords regards.]


    [ Oh pitiful¡­ believer of the Sacrificial Devil.]


    Although I wanted to have fun.


    I thought it would be better to pretend as if I was a different than Al.


    Like some machine god.


    I think I understood why the Architect was the best character within in Solo Leveling¡­


    There was no doubt in my heart that the moderator was always the most closest thing you can call to God.


    The ability to captivate the hearts of man.


    No wonder people loved to have a system, by instinct they would do anything to be a slave for something.


    Lie and worship the system.


    If she can find a way to do it.


    The maybe I wouldn''t have to leave this all behind.


    I stared at the large open gate and laughed when I saw her move towards them that dark and twisted laughter could be heard through all the halls of the dungeon at least it happened in my mind.


    ¡ª¡ª but I didn''t care.


    This was all apart of my design and if anything goes wrong there is always a next time to get it right.


    The glory of being a dead-man is to always wake up in another life after death and failure can be revised in the next life.


    I wanted to know how far I could go.


    Whether it would change through bullshit delusions or to conjure and inject a system into a hunter and groom them into an ideal vessel.


    Although The Architect built the system to create a vessel for The Shadow Monarch.


    It doesn''t mean I need to be loyal to such a system, like a Mod.


    I could just reach out and let my system devour everything within the originally designed system of the Architects and alter the contents into my dark image.


    While I waited to see what decision she would make.


    I extended my hand behind my back.


    " Merge the two systems and create a disposable system that will be inherited by a player who''ve completed their mission in this life."


    " Durability: Until the end of the players life."


    " System accessibility: No restrictions."


    " System perks: Growth type."


    " Alter everything and create a stream line that connects to the modification system for user maintenance."


    So one day if I were to die.


    I would know whether transfers were really just time reversal or I was being sent to another life.


    [ ~+~  has created the E Rank Support system.]


    [ Waiting for results of the current mission.]


    [ If entity succeeds. System interaction of the disposable system will be permitted to be used in past live transfers.]


    [ If entity fails all suspicions of the great evil that will plagued the world will be permanently link to your personality construct in this reality and every transfers you will be hunted by those who seek to prevent the emergence of the Shadow Monarch and be allied by those who wish for him to appear in the world of the living.]


    [ If entity fails. You will be marked by Ashborn, The right hand of the Absolute being and become his new vessel.]


    [ Hostile relationship between you and The Shadow Monarch of this reality.]


    [-9000%]


    I looked over to the body of the Architect and there a ghastly aura of light emerged as I saw a separate dimension open up.


    In between the darkness. I saw the eyes of A large knight adorned by Shadows and the elements of death staring down at me.


    The pressure was like a cold embrace grazing against my neck.


    Like when a person who wants to kill you finds you and looks you dead in the eyes with a gun aimed at your face.


    A consequence? It only felt like something annoying would be attached on me for the rest of my life.


    Like a curse I would be haunted by the Architect.


    I reached out my hand and extended a notification prompt towards the Shadow Monarch since I knew they still had access to the Architects system.


    It would be easier for someone to completely rid of his access before he would come to remove your administrative rights, but it didn''t phase me if I lost it.


    [ Think of this as a love letter from a disposable vessel.]


    [ Do you want it?]


    I showed Ashborn the event contract the modification system set up between me and the woman it called entity and the reward and failure that would be carried out after the mission.


    [ Why don''t we play a game?]


    [ Not only will I become your vessel you will consume my conscious immediately unlike the other humans this body is quite special.]


    [ Ashborn: ¡­]


    [ If the woman fails her mission I will advanced the role the Architect made with you and you will emerge in this reality.]


    [ Ashborn:¡­]


    [If she succeeds¡ª¡ª]


    [Ashborn: What do you desire human.]


    [ Consent.]


    In one moment.


    The Seal Of Orichalcos emerged in between my fingers.


    [ I desire the consent of Ashborn The Right Hand Of The Absolute Being to sacrifice his soul willingly to the seal.]


    [Ashborns Ruler Authority has activated.]


    In single moment the headless body of the Architect gripped my throat and if it were to squeeze just a little more.


    My head would pop open.


    Despite the terrifying pressure of suffocation.


    I forced myself to laugh in the pain as the air built into my lungs and I turned my eyes to the sillohuette of Ashborn.


    With the only energy I could must from my body I lifted only a finger to open the system.


    [ You can take my body¡­]


    [¡­or destroy it.]


    In the corner of my mind all I could a voice, it laughed on it''s own, because it was the only thing that could help me twitch the end of my thumb.


    I focused on it sing.


    [¡ª-but I''m taking your soul for in exchange for it.]


    After multiple moments where I can''t remember if I was living, breathing or dead.


    I was stuck in the hand of the Architect that was being moved by him.


    Even if he were just a shadow.


    He was still without his head.


    [Ashborn: Then let us gamble human.]


    [Ashborn: Whether your body will be destroyed by my form.]


    [Ashborn: Show me that power that you are confident in taking me soul.]


    [ Perfect¡­]


    I felt my mind cut off from the system.


    I was suffocating and saw the woman who was interacting with the others.


    I saw the illusion that showed a person who looked like me standing watching them and here I was suffocating by the hands of the Architect.


    It didn''t seem like I would make it.


    Ashborn was waiting and his shadow was suffocating me slowly.


    I raised my fingers and thought of the only thing that will seal our fate completely.


    A shadow game.


    A separate dimension where one person places their own soul on the line in battle.


    [ Under the effects of Alter Reality.]


    [ You have manifested the ability to create Shadow games.]


    [ Alter Reality consequences will be initiated after the victor is determined from the shadow game.]


    To not feel.


    I took the gamble from the start even if it came from a cheap notion or a thought I had.


    To show my intentions of seeing this through all the way.


    I pointed to The Shadow Monarch and flicked the middle finger.


    [ Dumb ass.]


    Send this fucker to the Shadow Realm.


    I felt something got a hold of me.


    A sudden sense of warmth.


    I saw from where I was.


    The Shadow Monarch just looking at me and glyphs fading his form away.


    The Seal Of Orichalcos showed over my neck.


    A necklace that appeared like the millineal item I had received.


    It glowed in a bright cyan light over my shirt.


    [ You have been forcefully transfered to the Shadow Realm.]


    The Shadow Realm or The Realm Of Dead looked just like something I recalled.


    A separate dimension isolated from everything.


    A place where those who lose their souls are sent too forever that was the brief description I remembered.


    Ash-born stood a distance away his large form blending with its purple fog.


    We did not communicate through the system.


    At least he didn''t reply.


    [ Dumb looking¡­ edgy¡­ purple¡­ knight¡ª¡ªloooking¡­ What ever the fuck you are¡ª]


    [ You almost broke my neck you know¡ª=]


    [ You are lucky I didn''t piss on the real thing¡ª]


    [ YOOOOOOOOOOOO_¡ª]


    I collapsed the window.


    I waited and ran through the memories of the stone statues and their time within that place.


    The Architect formed them into being and everything it had remembered seeing after it''s creation.


    It was interesting to see how the Architect created the dungeon and how he created the system to suit the potential vessel of Ash-born.


    The extreme steps used within to groom a person into a player was inhumane.


    To me it was as if I watching a video, but through their memories.


    It felt like I was the one who had done those things.


    I did not fear the possibility Ashborn would learn that in order to win before the contract finishes.


    [ I don''t think I''m going to win.]


    [ That girl is strange.]


    [ I don''t want you to be in this body eithe¡ª]


    [ Look you''re just too fat to fit in me¡ª¡ª]


    [ I mean you are too fat I mean big to fit this body.]


    All he needed was to kill.


    But he just stood there.


    Just waiting.


    [ Why are they even so interested in you?]


    The perfect wall I could speak my mind out was him.


    The monster the world considered evil.


    Ash-born, The silent wall.


    I had hoped he figured it out, because I was losing interest in watching a stone statue stand motionless for so long.


    [ Did you know the Architect wanted to use him as a statue?]


    [ Why''d you allow him to do that?]


    All he needed was to wish it and I''d become a vessel, because this was a duel that involved souls.


    [ I hate monsters.]


    [ You won''t even talk to me.]


    Any involvement with the modification meant nothing here.


    This was a different dimension separated from it''s influences.


    The Seal Of Orichalcos was god here something had to be sacrificed to appease it.


    The insatiable monster that lurked in the darkness here all it wanted was to feed on souls.


    Maybe Ashbon felt it down there.


    Looking at us from that wretched place below.


    In the depths of the Altered Seal Of Orichalcos there exists a monster.


    A calamity whose insatiable hunger was drawn to a place souls would go when they their body dies.


    It had addiction in absorbing souls.


    Only one place could lure a monster like it and that place¡ª


    ¡ª¡ª was once called Heaven.


    [ You have discovered a modified history of the Shadow Realm.]


    A place so empty that the dead fall straight down into the belly of a soul absorbing beast.


    The perfect place to make contracts when dealing with monsters you can''t touch or destroy, but I had no soul which is why I asked for consent.


    There was no other way to get here other than to force alter reality.


    I did it to escape pain and I didn''t want remember my final moments to be like a watermelon bursting open with blood.


    "¡­" I needed to do more


    Instead of always dieing without reason. I need to do it smart.


    It had to be a good reason or it would mean nothing.


    I know there is something I get when I pass away, but probing possibilities was more ideal than attaining power.


    What''s the point of being strong if everything you feel and know just leads to the moment where maybe I need to die.


    So even with this power that can bend the world.


    All I was using it for was to see a different picture by living through insanity.


    So I waited.


    ¡ª¡ª


    [ An entity has failed their mission.]


    [ Actions will be taken place immediately.]


    [ You have lost the Shadow Game.]


    [ You have no soul.]


    I stood up and the first thing I had done was show Ashborn the system notification I received.


    I didn''t want to look at it.


    I wondered how could she have failed?


    It was so easy to a lie.


    I told her the truth after all.


    All she needed to tell them was.


    A calamity will end the world.


    "¡­"


    [ Give me a moment.]


    [ I need to laugh.]


    I didn''t know why I stared at the notification I sent.


    This dark emotion in me wanted to find a way to express itself, but I knew I was already fucked from ground one.


    The moment I even initiated the contracted I concealed my fate, but I wanted to laugh.


    It forced you find something worth laughing for, but I couldn''t.


    I wasn''t able to think of something to laugh too.


    Then I received a notification from my modification system.


    [ Contracts are very sacred.]


    [ Your existence will be erased and be replaced with The Monarch Ashborn.]


    [ Do you wish to continue.]


    [ Yes.]


    There was no other options but yes.


    Laugh.


    ¡ª I couldn''t do it.


    As if the system waited for me to be the one to make a decision time.


    I reached out to read the consequences of the mission that I would receive.


    My foolish greed paid the price for gambling it to chance.


    [ Results of the current mission.]


    [ Failed.]


    [ If entity succeeds. System interaction of the disposable system will be permitted to be used in past live transfers.]


    [ If entity fails all suspicions of the great evil that will plagued the world will be permanently link to your personality construct in this reality and every transfers you will be hunted by those who seek to prevent the emergence of the Shadow Monarch.]


    [ If entity fails. You will be marked by Ashborn, The right hand of the Absolute being and become his new vessel.]


    I stood on the edge.


    Looking out through the mist of darkness in the Shadow Realm.


    I didn''t want to be his vessel.


    I didn''t want to be a player.


    I didn''t want to be involved with such a troublesome life.


    [ Kill and be killed.]


    [The two absolute laws in Siphon.]


    I took my hands and covered my face and took a deep breathe in.


    I forced my to laugh.


    I wanted to feel my body shaking as I did it, but I couldn''t feel a thing.


    So It came out distorted and sad.


    [ Ashborn¡ª¡ª ] ¡ª¡ª has decided to end my life.


    I could feel the blade that was concealed the whole time, hidden behind the air, that energy that had slain millions of powerful life.


    How could I not know¡ª-


    [ 0 life points remaining.]


    What it''s like to lose in a Shadow Game.


    [¡­]


    My mind was submerged by a foreign aura of darkness and death.


    A place so cold that I was disintegrating and mending, and the process repeated itself as he stood over me.


    Watching¡ª as pieces of me broke apart.


    The less I felt.


    The more I saw his form change and how it begun to look like the person I was inside off.


    A young man with dark hair and wearing light body armor and violet colored eyes showed an apathetic expression and how watched me disappear by the curse of a contract.


    Since the start.


    I heard him say nothing.


    I laughed.


    If I were to start over again.


    Maybe this time.


    ¡ª¡ª I''ll get it right.


    ¡ª¡ª You have died.¡ª¡ª


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]

 CH 7: The Devil Laughing PT 1

    Sometimes. Dreaming is all we can do when we can¡¯t really live with our eyes.


    To dream in a blissful place knowing when you wake up.


    All you had seen will all be in vain.


    No hope waits on the other side.


    Only reality.


    [ The death of a loved one isn''t always a tragic ending.]


    [ Sometimes they can leave you in a heartbeat.]


    [ Sera died from a failure of the heart.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    ¡° Mr Al¡­¡±


    ¡° I¡¯m sorry for your loss.¡±


    At first I watched my body talk to the doctor. The way he smiled sadly as if he was unsure of how to feel.


    I wasn¡¯t in control.


    I couldn¡¯t find a way to do something simple like that.


    At first you regard what you see as the past, but go back to it again and everything appears as a fucking horror.


    No-one could see me, but I stood by my body and watched over my sister as he cried besides me hearing the news she was gone.


    Rage was the only emotion I understood when I saw her discolored skin.


    To see her alive in my head, but dead before me.


    What I felt and What I feel?


    I understand I was never free from all of this.


    A state of paralysis where I watched my life from a distance as it happened in front of me and all I could do is watch and see myself cry.


    There wasn¡¯t no words I could say to console him or for this to feel better.


    We both know this moment meant our lives were over.


    Sera was my world.


    There isn¡¯t anything to live for, to function for and I won¡¯t continue forward in this life.


    I know my future after today isn¡¯t a good place to be in.


    She was my excuse and reason to be here.


    If only I were the one who ended up dead.


    It would have made sense.


    I waited for as long as he cried for my sister.


    It was like I was watching myself outside my body the day it happened.


    I couldn¡¯t allow him to find out she was dead.


    That experience of where I tried to hear for her heart beat.


    That scarred me. I couldn¡¯t watch him reliving what I had done.


    I brushed my fingers forward and started writing before me.


    [ She thought of you as her world.]


    [ Take care of her body and don¡¯t say good-bye.]


    He didn¡¯t react when the notification emerged but I know he could see my words.


    The system shined in his eyes.


    [ Come.]


    [ I¡¯ll help you function.]


    My body followed where I walked.


    Because I ordered for him to do so.


    He did all the things I would have said when a person approached him.


    I would say a few words and he would repeat what I said silently after I had written them.


    It was convenient to not be the one in control. My apathy would show through if I were him.


    Show empathy and help him function.


    That was all I was good for and I learned something new about transfers.


    These things will break your mind.


    [ Transfer paralysis: An unstable sync between the personality construct and body.]


    At first when I saw it. I believed it was the systems interpretation in desensitizing what a mind break appears like.


    Sometimes there are events we face that are so terribly numbing.


    Your mind leaves the rest of it¡¯s body and stops living.


    The moment I heard the doctors voice.


    I once thought¡ª¡ª- it would be far better if someone else was here instead of me.


    I wanted my sister to be that person.


    I sat by her  bed knowing I can¡¯t hold those hands like I once could do or to find ways and stories that could make her smile.


    The comfort of someone who loved you more than yourself was something I missed and yearned for.


    I was like a spirit, there, but not psychically.


    Haunting the past¡ª A ghost in another time.


    I waited for my body as he mourned in my place.


    I kissed my sister between her brows and left the room after some time where the two of us were alone.


    My body followed me and after clearing up matters with funeral directors who stood outside the room.


    [ Leave them.]


    I tried not looking in the direction of the bed they would put my sisters body on and walked down the long hall to not think of what they will do with her.


    My body stayed still speaking to them.


    Sometimes I left a few words just to ensure he knew I was there.


    I knew he was me, but I treated him as if he were my sister and acted like a caretaker and not some hollow methodical bitch who ordered him like he were some AI.


    Like a pet. I would always disturb him because I was worried.


    ¡° I¡¯m fine.¡± I¡¯d hear him say. I would often remind him that it wouldn¡¯t be so long that he would forget that feeling, because he was me.


    So embrace it and not do what I had thought would be better when the emotions came.


    To believe it would be better to never feel anything at all was the worst manipulation anyone could ever tell themselves.


    There isn¡¯t really anything to feel for when you¡¯re become old and bitter.


    That was my experience.


    We communicated  as I spoke through the system.


    Walking side by side and him not really being phased by the notification screen always haunting him.


    As if believing the words reflected in his eyes was just me murmuring every thought I would keep in my head.


    He seemed fine by that¡­ I wouldn¡¯t care either.


    We reached the end of the hall before the entrance exiting into the waiting hall.


    I stood in front of a tall machine and he stared dispirited at a few coins in his hands.


    ¡° 3 dollars for coffee¡­¡± ¡ª Was very cheap for cheap coffee, but I always believed keeping enough coins would be able to buy a lot of meat that could be made into 5 dinner meals.


    I was a No-Life so money was very luxurious since I never owned money.


    Everything I had was given to Sera to take care off.


    I never trusted myself with it because when you often have so much in one pay check.


    I had the insulting broke man habit to splurge everything on food.


    Just like what I intend for us to do now.


    We¡¯re gambling all my past labor away on this machine.


    All of it will go on a good cause.


    An escape from some of the worst things you experience in life.


    [ Sera liked bitter and sweet things. Buy it.]


    ¡° Fuck¡­¡±


    [¡­]


    ¡° Fuck!¡±


    A vending machine was a cheap place for someone who had coins and wasn¡¯t worried about the quality within.


    I watched as the hook in the machine dropped down and picked out a can.


    He reached under and collected it.


    Something about the way he stood with his shoulders hunched forward and defeated reminded me of the time I woke up and ignored the reality my sister died.


    Sometimes living often feel like you were repeating something that already happened and you only notice after seeing something familiar.


    Like the small details. Like the eyes.


    He just stood their staring aimlessly with his eyes wide open.


    [ Fix your back.]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    To avoid everything wasn¡¯t a good way to go about transfers and to apathetically treat it indifferently was even more dangerous than dying willingly.


    I pointed to a chocolate bar on his right side.


    [ Try something.]


    ¡° I don¡¯t have enough¡­¡±


    [ Sera would be very disappointed.]


    ¡°¡­¡± I saw him lift out my old dirty wallet and took out another coin.


    There was no vending machines in Siphon.


    There wasn¡¯t really a place you can go to and release your mind from what you were living in.


    Dirt. Trees. Mud and the sound of falling rain and the freezing cold in an abandon place without much life.


    That was your environment for food.


    So I thought to reward myself even if it wasn¡¯t really me who would receive it.


    The death of my sister and the displacement of me having full control over my body.


    It was an instinctual awareness to think that it was a sign I may die too.


    I believed in my dying instinct and that lingering compulsion something wrong will happen never disappointed me.


    It was so strong.


    I wasn¡¯t sure what will take my life.


    Me or that feeling that warned me.


    Something terrible will come.


    [ Buy 2 drinks and some snacks.]


    I didn¡¯t understand how much money I had and the currency was different to what I was used in siphon.


    We didn¡¯t use the market dollars. The currency used among trades was transferred in credits, but people had the value of $5000 dollars.


    Everything was just credits with them.


    The moment I saw my hand rest a black card on the scanner and saw a green light start to flicker.


    I would make it my goal to pick out all the things I thought would kill me as long as a different color never showed.


    And I would wait for him to follow through my ravenous orders using my finger as a wand that Illustrated system notifications by thought.


    [ A dark chocolate.]


    [ A chocolate oak drink.]


    [ Buy one more please¡ª¡ª]


    I pointed at the items I would try if it were my last moments.


    I wanted 2 of everything the machine had in stock.


    I didn¡¯t feel hungry, but it was very relaxing to see myself unable to hold everything he purchased.


    I never had the chance to splurge, besides seeing cruel things happen to other people.


    I thought the best option was to run myself through a food coma after what happened with my sister.


    I never thought there was a healthy way to cope with death.


    Sometimes your mind really can¡¯t register or cycle what to feel and I never believed talking a stranger would have helped me be better.


    I walked over to a chair and sat down.


    The feelings I had over my sister still lingered¡­ It hurt knowing I have very little memories of our times together, but my feelings don¡¯t matter.


    It never did¡­ I learned to get use to that.


    I saw him drink through the second can of chocolate milk mixed with coffee I knew I invented something wicked.


    [ So the taste? How is it?]


    He looked straight forward.


    [ I¡¯m right here.] On his right. I know he couldn¡¯t see me.


    So I never bothered to say where I was.


    ¡° Alright... It taste like chocolate milk.¡± But he was in a mood about it.


    Two of the same flavored milk mixing together¡­ must have tasted like dull spoiled chocolate.


    That expression where I would look to the side while combing the chunks of chocolate off my teeth.


    Something about seeing it made me remember my sense of taste that rotted long ago.


    I never got the chance to eat to things like this again.


    So I made him try another experiment.


    One was a chocolate oak with mint flavor and the other was a barrister coffee despite the crude and strong flavors I though it had.


    I didn¡¯t have the opportunity to make the decision to experience the taste of sweet things like this.


    It wasn¡¯t the best last meals I would take if I die, but those were the flavors my sister loved.


    We¡¯d would spend more time together baking with cheap cake from a supermarket and ice cream would be our drink, but those times we shared¡­ were very small in my memory now.


    A cutlet of fried meat or fresh korean fried honey chicken over steaming hot fried rice would be my ideal luxury if life was very forgiving to me.


    I saw the amount of sweets inside his bag.


    All of it would have made my stomach turn.


    I didn¡¯t think of the amount I made him buy. I just thought it was funny to see his reaction because he was losing money.


    [ Now for the next test.]


    I made him eat every one and the further I watched him bite into a bar of chocolate and drink one of the cans of coffee beside me.


    I wasn¡¯t sure if I had done this in my original life¡­ If it would have made me feel a little better.


    He never showed any expression that made me believe what I hoped for.


    It was one thing to transfer to a dungeon and be killed and transfer to your past where you can experience small things¡­


    Like rinsing your pallet with shit junk and bleeding your wallet and all the labor you put in for a fucking a coin.


    I liked watching myself seem happy, eating junk with an expression that was familiar to my sister distasteful disgust in somethings.


    He looked like it. I hoped he was.


    I don¡¯t remember how long it was when I felt it.


    I don¡¯t quite remember when I was happy.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I imagined ways to see myself smile.


    It was better than imagining the disturbing ways of how I might die.


    I pointed to a gold chocolate bar filled with nuts.


    [ Eat that chocolate.]


    I could never understand why Sera liked the taste but it was addicting to feel on the tongue she said.


    ¡° I can¡¯t taste anything.¡±


    I saw how he hid the bar under the wrapper.


    I know he was at his limit.


    [ Don¡¯t lie.]


    ¡°¡­¡±  He was growing distant with all the food in the bag.


    ¡° It¡¯s nutty.¡±


    [ The texture takes sometime to get use to.] I rephrased words I remember my sister saying to me.


    [ It¡¯s just one of those foods that hits you a bit later.]


    When I saw all the open wrappers sitting inside of the bag.


    I thought it wasn¡¯t enough, but he looked like he would vomit¡­ if he would consume another.


    [ Again.]


    I found myself in a ritual of prompting the other me into eating food that could corrode your teeth if you give it just enough years.


    Sometimes I saw him read through my old messages on the phone.


    Most of my messages were filled with catfish messages from shipping companies, a disguise for over-seas scam workers behind that message.


    Just another fucking whale who was ready to fuck me financially over.


    The other messages were notifications on an app I use to interact with people who were seeking instant work.


    It was a community forum for word of mouth odd jobs from bosses looking for desperate hands.


    I would read through the pages because I was looking at jobs too.


    [???: Hey I know you¡¯ve been offline lately, but I got a job offer. We need to talk.]


    The moment I saw the username and the message it belonged too.


    I felt something in my hand.


    My fingers rested over the screen.


    ¡°¡­¡± I was in my body this time and alone.


    I turned off my Internet on the phone so I could read through it offline.


    The person who sent the message was someone was also a member of this forum.


    I wasn¡¯t sure whether he made out Siphon or turned out the way I did.


    I didn¡¯t want to think over the possibilities.


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°¡­¡± I hope he lived and returned home.


    Under his message.


    I received different notifications from potential workers.


    [ Bossmang! Do you know any shifts open for the week end! No more studies, I¡¯m a free man now and I¡¯m money hungry.]


    [Bossus! I heard there¡¯s a function opening in the western district. Can you talk to the owner of the event for me, pretty please!]


    [Boss! It¡¯s cutting hand. Thank you for allowing me to work for Mr Pinky, The last function was a hit and now I have part time in his friends kitchen. Thank you so much for teaching me the job properly. If you need any help with finding workers I will tell my friends about you first! Ciaosu!]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I knew people who ran functions on the week ends for weddings, the simple things like running as an extra pair of hands in the kitchen and some who wanted the extra help with setting them up on the mornings.


    It hit me that I was someone who connected workers to these people on the app.


    I wasn¡¯t fond of working under people and I found a way and made others do it for me since my only concern was always being near my sister.


    I didn¡¯t have the mindset for jobs and working.


    I replied shortly to all the messages.


    [] I will link you a new number, call him when you can.


    [] I can¡¯t call him now. Go to the event and notify him that you are the person I sent to help him with the event. Don¡¯t expect much pay for that. There is only so much I can do.


    [] I¡¯m grateful to hear you now have a permanent work. Thank you for the hard work and take care of yourself. Remember. Your mindset is what keeps you in the job. Take care and always ask questions when you are unsure of what to do.


    I answered the messages in the way I hoped for if I were on the receiving end.


    [???: Very important message! Read! Now!]


    [???: I think this would make us rich.]


    [???: Call me or just read the message okay?]


    Then again, there always that person who didn¡¯t understand what it means to stop.


    I think he was too compulsive when money was involved.


    I opened up the message he linked me.


    [ No experience, Instant transactions, availability for immediate work.]


    [ ¡ª Work field: Hostile zone shipping company.#666]


    I never saw the message in my past life, but I learned about it two weeks after buying the coffin for Sera from the funeral directors.


    2 weeks from now after the funeral.


    I got a message from him and how he was leaving for a job outside of the Southern District.


    That¡¯s when I saw the recruitment notice.


    He just sounded very distressed when he told me he was going.


    I didn¡¯t care for my life and I had a lot of free time.


    So I just went along with him.


    Not knowing the kind of place we would go to or the people we would become.


    I think it was because of the events that happened prior that I had developed and awful awareness of things always going wrong and just accepting thats it.


    I saw the worst life offered and thought it would be better to not try.


    I didn¡¯t see the point. I ruined it at such a young age.


    Porn. Anime. Manga. Webtoon. Novels. They were good and all, but the older you get.


    The more you see how your decisions impact your life.


    And it¡¯s no different if you go on the road driving on a 70 and you¡¯re about to hit into something and not think of how you will suffer, die or hurt people in front of you.


    That how living was to me.


    It didn¡¯t matter what will happen.


    The consequences wasn¡¯t as terrifying or as painful than the experiences I already lived and know.


    Novels give you an understanding of it. Media adjust that understanding to the reality of what could happen to your body. Reality¡­ It forces you into apathy depression or numb¡­ that¡¯s all.


    I sold my body for target practice to a stranger who found it funny on a death forum and received $2 on paycal for each of the bullets he bought for me.


    Saying that each one would be pushed into a part of my body and he would wait for me to beg to stop hurting me.


    I didn¡¯t care if he had 74 mental illness or if he was just a teenager who would go through with what he had said over the call.


    Not over thinking made reality a little easier to understand: There was twisted people like me and a whole bunch of fucking rotten people I didn¡¯t see before.


    When I focused in thinking that way It didn¡¯t register that he was explaining how he got off the idea of putting bullets in a person or how he would explain in simple terms how he had never thought of trying to kill someone else, but he had a lot of ideas how it might just work.


    He didn¡¯t show the day we were to meet.


    An old forest a few hours on the mountainside known for having a plane crash that took the lives of many people.


    Some of the bodys weren¡¯t found on the plane, but the area was called by another name.


    A suicide forest.


    That day I understood my life would have ended if he was there.


    If I were to compare the feeling I felt when I waited for 2 hours after the time he said, to what it felt like stabbing that trafficker on the train.


    I¡¯d say I was conflicted and kind of numb.


    I used the money he patreon for my murder and bought a burger meal with two large fries inside of a gas station near the forest.


    Thinking over the money I used for it was sent by someone who thought it was funny for me not to live.


    It was the best sandwich I had tasted in my life, but it wasn¡¯t any different to how strippers go to clubs and entertain for money.


    I sold my body because I¡¯m an idiot and made 15 fucking dollars that went down the fucking toilet.


    I spent my time into taking care of my sister and she died from life and I happened to sit alone in a gas station thinking over how funny food tasted when it was paid for free money.


    I didn¡¯t care enough to understand that there was a high chance I would have never gotten chance to taste that burger.


    Find something that could bleed away time and function.


    That was my idea that helped me remain the same.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    In my case now, It was sipping on cold coffee and grinding my teeth on some crisp and flaky chocolate coated bar.


    It was liquorice flavor and I wanted to cut out my tongue.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I saw a beautiful girl sit next to me. Beautiful because It was an impression I had when it came to the opposite sex.


    Admire but don¡¯t really think about it.


    She smelled like cheap cigarettes and I saw the flame that she lit near me.


    Yes¡­ a beautiful bitch who showed no respect to my lungs.


    A no manner profile that belong to someone I knew.


    I glanced to my left side and stared at her, because it was starting to feel like dejavu was shooting at me with remember me bullets that triggered all my senses.


    Odd colored eyes. Black hair. Piss-like personality, but such a beautiful girl in mafia style clothing.


    ¡° Dolly.¡± Why was she smoking here. Inside.


    She heard my voice when I said that name. Immediately  she looked to the side, of course I saw that smirk and how she intentionally kissed the cigarette playfully as if she were going to suck something in.


    I looked over to the emergency rooms and then to her smell.


    ¡° You¡¯re going to give those poor people a very short life.¡±


    First she sat down and acted as if we didn¡¯t know each other and now she is fucking sucking the bottom as if insinuating it was a dick.


    I think I was the rotten one.


    Every time something involved a beautiful woman.


    All I thought over was dirty sex.


    ¡° Relax.¡± I just stared to her cigarette. I wasn¡¯t going to take it and toss it out.


    People can go ahead and die. I wasn¡¯t the one that did it.


    ¡° Stop fucking me with your eye balls.¡±


    I was looking at my torn sandals and this psychopathic girl sat casually beside me when she could have sat further away and left me in peace.


    ¡° How does that even work? My eye balls aren¡¯t interested in a 9/10 beauty in the shit piss department.¡±


    Her eyes gleamed at me.


    ¡° Aw¡­ You called me a beauty.¡± And almost immediately a middle finger violently flicked from her fist.


    ¡° Shit piss. 9 out of 10¡ª¡ª¡±


    ¡°¡ª-Beauty? I¡¯d rather tongue fuck a goblin than you.¡±


    ¡° Ew¡­¡± But I think goblins have sharp teeth.


    Dolly was like a cat.


    Warm when you spend time with them.


    Then one day you find yourself staring at something that hates you for doing something you don¡¯t remember and they hold on to grudges for a very long time.


    ¡° So¡­ 10 minutes huh. New record?¡± 10 minutes of silently avoiding conversation with her.


    Yes. A record that should have went on a bit longer.


    ¡° 10...isn¡¯t enough. ¡±


    I learned not use my head.


    An accepted I was incompatible to every female breathing over the valuable soil of grandma earth.


    ¡° It¡¯s hard to speak to you.¡± I said it straight.


    We never really wrote letters to each other or sent calls or even had the chance to ghost calls.


    My life never had a Dolly in it.


    I forgot she was there until the moment I smelled that cigarette, because only two people I know smoke¡­ Blank and this fiend.


    She took another puff and inhaled.


    Nothing good happens when talking to someone you said you loved before.


    Transfers distorted my sense of time and even if this was all the way in the past.


    I remember one thing.


    We weren¡¯t on good terms now, but even the silence was so deafening to where the only things I heard was her ashes  dropping on the floor and her soft and controlled breathing and it felt like I would hear the air crack because of a loaded gun.


    So I spoke out I didn¡¯t like hearing the ambient sound of this hospital hall.


    ¡° How have you been?¡± I asked in my voice that wasn¡¯t very me.


    I was still suffering from somethings didn¡¯t have the mind to speak well and needed a script to read off to talk with her.


    Although I didn¡¯t use the system notification as a way to assist me when talking.


    I didn¡¯t want to continue mocking her either. It was just fucking silly.


    She gave me a side eye and crucified the cigarette by a soft and slow inhale.


    ¡° Normal? I think¡­? If the nurses found me like this. I¡¯d be fired.¡±


    ¡° That¡¯s normal? That¡¯s shit.¡± I said, but she laughed.


    ¡° They won¡¯t do that. They love me so-so much.¡±


    ¡° Why?¡± I didn¡¯t know her well as the others. I knew the nurses they were kind, atleast some of them were.


    She took a soft exhale.


    ¡° Well¡ª¡° She took her time thinking.


    ¡° I¡¯m cheap, useful, smart and very beautiful.¡±


    I looked forward and thought about how nonchalant someone needed to be to say in that tone.


    The response was too familiar to an answer I would reply with if someone told me.


    Why don¡¯t you just live? ¡ª¡ªI don¡¯t know would be my answer.


    It just rolled of your tongue so easily and made sense to me.


    ¡° That sounds sad.¡± I didn¡¯t feel it thought. It was just sad.


    She was a smart person and that¡¯s one of the things I admired despite her venom spitting personality.


    She  had a strong idea of what she wanted.


    Someone who wouldn¡¯t walk their life in front of a demented fiend on a death forum.


    I noticed how she readjusted the foggy glasses that was burned by the smoke.


    ¡° I hate when that happens.¡±


    I know sometimes smoking burns your eyes. The smoke redirecting into your eyes. It isn¡¯t really healthy to see.


    ¡°¡­¡± I didn¡¯t like my past either.


    It felt like an unhealthy obsession knowing that inside of a transfer there was always a possibility to tinker and alter the past.


    Most people would think. Oh if I do this? History will change.


    If I step forward and asked if I could wipe her eyes the only history I will remeber is to get my eyes beaten and then we¡¯d both be two people sitting in the middle of the hall with  red eyes.


    ¡° Come here. Let me blow it.¡±


    ¡° You idiot. I don¡¯t have anything in it.¡±


    ¡° Just wipe it dry and just let me blow. You can wipe your glasses while I do this.¡±


    It was so easy to think of ways to change my relationship with Dolly.


    She became so defensive after I said my words and I knew how life works anything I say or do never works out for me.


    So I caught her in the moment and fought back.


    ¡° I can help you.¡± I couldn¡¯t give a shit about mending what went wrong.


    If someone thought taking care of a bitch who got smoke caught in her eye would do anything.


    Then buy a fucking water bottle.


    I don¡¯t know any other way to help her but use my spit.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t regret what I¡¯ve done before or the fact that what ever I did hurt it and I didn¡¯t even bother trying to mend us.


    Right now. I was just rocking over the funny feelings the other me got and coping in someway.


    Moments likes these was just another activity to bleed time.


    I don¡¯t care what happens.


    There is no tomorrow. Not for me.


    ¡° You can just tell me fuck off Al.¡±


    ¡° It¡¯s a bit twitchy, I think It would be better to smoke with your glass up here.


    I reached out and raised the glass above her hair.


    I knew she couldn¡¯t see far, but those were some of the most fucking beautiful eyes I have ever seen on someone. Odd, but definitely didn¡¯t belong to normal looking people.


    I raised my fingers before her.


    ¡° I know this is rude. I think I might have asked about it in the past.¡±


    ¡° But what do you see?¡±


    She stood there silent.


    ¡° A fucking psycho trying to pluck out my eyes.¡±


    I relaxed into the seat and watched the lights above me.


    ¡° You think I will be able to see with them if I took them out?¡± I was curious. Just how far was the medical technology here in this time.


    ¡° I mean with all the smoking. Your eyes will be fucked and it¡¯s already fucked. Say. If I die and yours go bad.¡±


    ¡°¡­Take mine.¡± I thought it made sense to say.


    I may go. 30 minutes or even 5.


    Since I had the feeling that it just might happen, but I don¡¯t know when.


    I thought it was normal for a person to say something like that, but she just looked put off by it.


    Dolly didn¡¯t say a word.


    I thought it was because it sounded depressing, but It was just a thought.


    If the doctors couldn¡¯t go as far as to save my sister. I don¡¯t think they knew how to successfully transplant another persons eye onto someone else.


    So it was just a suggestion.


    ¡° Stop blabbering. Old hermit.¡±


    I just watched my life rot as I lived and although I was often depressing. I knew what was better and if pieces of my body could make another person live an easier life.


    It was better than for them to be rotting in the ground.


    ¡° You have my consent.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° You have my whole consent. Remember that.¡±


    ¡° You smart and beautiful¡ª-¡±


    ¡° Stop right there and don¡¯t finish that sentence.¡±


    ¡°¡ªsexy bitch.¡±


    I made sure express the sentence in the worst way I could.


    In one breath smoke rushed and stung my eyes and she was over me.


    ¡° Hey you will ruin them.¡±


    ¡° You called me bitch right? You¡¯re an old musky bitch.¡±


    It was funny how she was avoiding the other part where I said sexy.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡ª¡ª sure.


    ¡° So you¡¯re a hermit bitch?¡± It was a luxury to find someone who constantly rambles about silly things.


    It wasn¡¯t normal. With her body almost sitting over me. I just played along.


    ¡° You know¡­ hermits a bit too¡ª¡ª¡° Riling her up to the point we were face to face.


    ¡° You¡¯re a virgin bitch then?¡± Insulting her to where she feels so mad because of it.


    ¡° I fucked my hand¡ª¡° I just smiled and leaned a bit closer.


    ¡° Pft¡ª- You¡¯re just a bitch?¡± Then I saw she noticed just how close we really were.


    I looked down to see that she was sitting on me with both her hands pushed behind me just looking down to my eyes very shocked and confused.


    With her rotten personality and always spilling devil.


    I reached in and combed a strand of her hair behind her ear and saw her understand how close this was to two people fucking.


    With one hand combing her hair and the other touching the side of her stomach to show her how dangerous it was for us.


    I played a little act with my voice.


    I was enthralled by her lips and I showed her how much I wanted it.


    ¡°You keep insulting, but I¡¯ve told you already.¡±


    ¡° This body is yours.¡±


    ¡° H-hey t-this is too real¡­¡± I smiled and she looked down with her eyes open when I pulled her closer.


    ¡° A-Al¡­?¡±


    Despite her words¡­ I wasn¡¯t that Al she knew. I became apart of group who abducts people several years from now.


    Yet it feels like I was still my normal self now.


    Playful, depressed and less caring for future consequences.


    It was strange to imagine I would end up being someone families would pray for on their beds hoping to be die.


    I reached out for her throat just so I could hold and kiss her chin. My hand that rested on her rib cage ended up pulling her shirt back down to where it was before.


    My feelings soiled everything again. So I ripped open a bar of chocolate and started to bite into it.


    The seductive and lusting feeling I had was being drained away by the sweet and nutty flavors dancing over the side of my tongue.


    ¡° Want some?¡± I suggested it, but she stood up immediately and sat down to the side.


    ¡°¡­¡± I watched her stay silent.


    Dolly stared straight forward without any interest and smoked with her glasses still on.


    She just glanced at me with her eyes moving to my direction from the time she smoked and looked like she wanted to flare out violently with her thoughts, because I played with her and it confused her.


    The atmosphere wasn¡¯t the same anymore.


    She wasn¡¯t happy.


    We weren¡¯t really friends now.


    Words are very slippery and often spilled thoughtlessly from the teeth.


    I didn¡¯t want to be that guy to say it.


    I enjoyed the lust, but something about it always seemed bland when the other person was never interested like I was.


    I wonder why it happens.


    It was just feelings and I didn¡¯t have many anymore.


    ¡° Al.¡±


    I had no-one but traffickers, captives, hunters and suicidal me.


    I didn¡¯t really know.


    What a normal life looked like after this day.


    ¡° Are you okay?¡±


    I picked out a chocolate bar from the bag and placed it inside of her hands just for her to stop talking.


    I communicated with her in show language. Where I showed the actions of how to open the bar of chocolate and chew on the right side of her mouth.


    ¡° Yeah.¡± I¡¯m okay to the point I can function and make arrangements that take care of my sisters funeral.


    In the case I died in an hour or two from now. I was fine enough to do what I wanted to be done.


    Since I¡¯ve lived this life before.


    I didn¡¯t want to mention what happened to Sera.


    We weren¡¯t so close to just hold a casual conversation inside of a hall, but I remember the girl who gave me flowers for my sister even though she never knew my sister died.


    Hate or what ever multi-face feeling cats showed.


    I was aware coincidences like this never happened to someone like me.


    She has always genuinely been a good person to me and I ruined her.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° Al?¡± She seemed almost to comfortable for a person who showed her dislike for me.


    ¡° Can you do something for me?¡±


    I leaned over to the side and reached out for the new cigarette from her lips and moved forward to kiss the side of her cheek to divert her attention away from it.


    I saw her body tense and react to the slight kiss I pushed against her cheeks.


    There was no love in me.


    There was no need to be in love. My time as Al was gone.


    I leaned over.


    I wanted inhale the cigarette something toxic that made my sight sharpened.


    I didn¡¯t really understand that feeling.


    Dolly stared straight forward like she was watching something terrible happen.


    ¡° What do you think you¡¯re doing?¡±


    I shook my head and then blew.


    ¡° I wanted to understand why people do it.¡±


    I took one of the empty cans of coffee and flicked the ashes inside


    ¡° This isn¡¯t really working.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t happy to see me hold a cigarette and I don¡¯t think it¡¯s because I stole it from her fingers or kissed her cheeks.


    I¡¯ve never done it before in her mind.


    ¡° Thanks for the assist.¡± I reached for her face and pushed back the cigarette between her lips.


    I leaned forward and hugged her.


    She didn¡¯t reciprocate it. So I stayed a little longer to vex her territorial nature.


    It kind of felt like another very long good-bye.


    ¡° You¡¯re enjoying this aren¡¯t you.¡±


    ¡° Yeah. Who knows when I could be able to embrace a psychopath like you again.¡± To even further crawl under her skin. I turned my head and kissed the side of her face and licked a bit of the smoke ash off.


    ¡° You fuck!¡±


    Those eyes were very beautiful but the brain behind was a word pushing murderer.


    I could see she was thinking hard on how she might kill me, but with both my hands holding her lightly.


    It was funny how she could have harmed me at any time. I wasn¡¯t really doing anything that restrained her from it.


    ¡° You turn your head to the side anymore than that. I¡¯m going to tongue fuck your mouth until you are out breath.¡± It was the only strong threat I could imagine with her.


    I didn¡¯t really mean it. I just thought it was a funny threat to say.


    I hugged her close and whispered into her ear.


    ¡° Dolly. Sera is gone.¡± Those were the words I would have said in another life. If I didn¡¯t leave that day I saw her.


    I didn¡¯t have the flowers.


    ¡° I wanted you to know.¡± The bag of sweets I couldn¡¯t eat them all.


    I placed it in her hands. It took a little effort to open her fingers that was shaking.


    I was drowning in my feelings. One that didn¡¯t want to accept and the other that strongly believed I will not make it to see her being buried.


    In all the moments before I died. I always had this feeling of doom.


    It was stronger from here.


    I needed some time even if it were only 5 minutes.


    ¡° Al? Where are you going.¡± I stared to Dolly.


    ¡° I¡¯m going home.¡±


    ¡° Home?¡±


    I didn¡¯t have a home anymore.


    That shitty apartment I was renting out wasn¡¯t my home.


    ¡° I will see you again.¡± I said it so easily. I had this feeling I wouldn¡¯t see her soon.


    See her soon¡­ those words¡­.


    Were the exact same words I used the last time I talked my sister.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    Farewell¡­ was just another form of a cruelty.


    I don¡¯t want to be apart off.


    So I just walked away.


    ¡­


    [ The person you have called is unavailable. Please leave a message after¡ª¡ª]


    [ The person you have called is unavailable. Please leave a message after the¡ª¡ª]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    [ BAL: $0.00]


    The banks in this area don¡¯t open until tomorrow. I don¡¯t have the money to set up and immediate funeral for my sister.


    There was another account. I can¡¯t access it from my phone.


    ¡°¡­¡± I thought taking the previous action I had done before would happen.


    I called my mothers ex girl friend.


    I called for 20 minutes and each time I heard the machine.


    I would try again. I don¡¯t know how many calls went through. I know I had the right number.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    Last time. I went to the Northern District to meet her into taking care of my sister.


    This time I tried it over the phone.


    [ The person you are calling is¡ª¡ª]


    I wasn¡¯t praying for a miracle to make her pick up the call. I thought it would be better to keep going even if it would end up this way.


    I gave myself 20 minutes and still no answer.


    I hoped, but I didn¡¯t expect for it to work.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    [ No experience, Instant transactions, availability for immediate work.]


    [ ¡ª Work field: Hostile zone shipping company.#666 ]


    It was funny how the number on the message was the only thing I could turn too.


    A 3 digit caller ID.


    No normal phone would allow it to go through, because it was for a terminal communication line and the original number was always one digit negative than the Id shown on the message.


    I dialed in 555.


    Devil Laughing: The original communication line for traffickers working in Siphon.


    666 was used to get in touch with someone who was personally an instructor. Someone who did work like me and connected outsiders to a contract.


    I called 555 on a disposable line as if I were currently working as a trafficker.


    I heard a kind voice on the other end.


    ¡° Hi, I¡¯m willing to volunteer for a contract.¡±


    ¡° Past experience?¡±


    ¡° Coordination within the Eastern and Western districts.¡±


    ¡° What company?¡±


    ¡° Siphon.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± There was gun shot over the call. It was too far, but something fell hard on the ground and I heard an awful groan.


    ¡° I need money. I have information.¡±


    ¡° Are you willing to expose your location over this information?¡± Expose¡­ means am I willing to die for it.


    ¡° Southern Emergency Hospital, Male, Dark hair, Over weight, Young, Standing under a security camera pointed to the front entrance. Can you see me?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± There was a rustle and static and I heard a man breathing. It was a different voice to the one I heard before although his voice was deep and low.


    It was so distorted that I know he was speaking through a speech altering modification.


    ¡° Payment information will be transferred based on this lines assumption your occupation is responsible for traffic. You will be paid $5000 for names and other information prices will be listed during the call. Please continue with a clear voice.¡±


    ¡° You are on an exposed device. We can¡¯t alter components on your device. You have 5 minute period.¡±


    ¡° Executioners will be sent to your location after this call ends.¡±


    ¡° Thank you.¡±I answered respectfully even if I understood 5 minutes meant I only had 2.


    Executioners were the worst I know.


    I begun to recount my encounters and experiences working as a trafficker.


    My voice and tone had to match that identity I spoke as.


    Indifferent, hollow and unfeeling to cruelty experienced on constant travels on the killing fields.


    Like a switch. Al had to go to get what I want from them.


    ¡° Identity and locations of the relatives and children of black list raiders living inside hostile zones near Siphon, Velda, DI, Mer territories.¡±


    ¡° Denis sanderson under the protection of the Wolfen unit living inside an abandoned town on the western side of a fish market. Would be taken with other children to the eastern park and supervised by young soldiers. Frame of time: 12:45 pm.¡±


    ¡° Marcus Timothy. Tores unit bomb maker frequently visits a red house on the eastern side of Velda¡¯s Theatre. Enters from the back entrance on a Tuesday. Never walks through the front door. Frame of time: 4:35 pm, known time for leaving 12:49 am.¡±


    Names, faces, identity, numbers, locations, time of day every word I spoke was a name of a life and I was selling them.


    I was reading out the bounties of names, of people who have been crossed out the list in Siphon 7 years from today.


    I had never encountered them before or even go as far to say I had stalked them.


    Every word that left my tongue didn¡¯t belong to me.


    I once worked in a place called The Pig Pen.


    A place where soldiers who worked for the executioners go to after they came back from their missions and spoke nonchalantly about their expeditions and trophy killings.


    I was one of the people who would work inside one of the warehouses hosing blood into a drain, the skins and hair of remains they left inside that room where they executed blacklist raiders.


    I would be there hosing and picking out cuts of flesh that would block the drains from the ground.


    I would clean and some of the soldiers there would speak to me about the person they turned into a trophy.


    I remembered their voices rather vividly because they were insulting them and and shared stories that sometimes even made me feel their hate.


    When the only words you hear each day was their words.


    Each day something sticks on you like cologne.


    Working there was more exhausting when it came to the soldiers than it was cleaning the sheds after they totured and deboned raiders apart.


    Words slipped from my tongue as I remembered and spoke.


    I understood what I was saying. I was aware that my words meant people in Siphon will scout and confirm if they are true.


    Whether I lied or said the truth. I will be killed regardless the moment he mentioned executioners.


    I just prayed that the devil believe my words were valuable and rewarded it honestly.


    So I spoke clear not worrying over the time I had left.


    ¡° Thank you.¡± The man over the phone said.


    ¡° You credit will be valued at another time.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° You aren¡¯t on our list. Al.¡± There wasn¡¯t much time and he did not confirm the amount I would be paid for.


    ¡° I was sent a message for recruitment.¡±


    ¡° By who?¡± There was a slight silence.


    ¡° Someone who loves money.¡± I didn¡¯t pretend.


    ¡° We never contacted you.¡±


    ¡° He trusted me to join.¡±


    ¡° Does someone you know told you about us before?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± I didn¡¯t have an honest answer.


    ¡° You¡¯re bleeding my time so I die.¡± I saw the minutes counting down and my senses started ringing and instantly I thought I saw something standing outside in the dark.


    ¡° Yes.¡± His voice and tone was just like the others I knew.


    ¡° I want 1 minute to use all the money.¡±


    ¡° Then we will have a short conversation.¡± He said.


    ¡° Would you like to work as an executioner?¡±


    ¡° No.¡± I responded.


    ¡° You will die.¡±


    ¡° People you hire go through this.¡±


    ¡° They do.¡±


    ¡° Do you know who I am?¡±


    ¡° Unless you wear a mask with apathetic eyes and a smile I wouldn¡¯t know you.¡±


    ¡° That is another reason on the list on why you should not live.¡±


    ¡° One minute has passed¡­¡±


    ¡° How would you like your credits to be used Al?¡±


    ¡° Please bury my sister where no-one can hurt her.¡±


    ¡° You have 1 minute.¡±


    ¡° May you perished wretchedly Al.¡±


    ¡° Thank you sir.¡±


    I waited for the call to end and when I turned around I saw Dolly with this panicked look on her face.


    Trying to not make it seem as if she heard everything I said.


    I knew she heard everything.


    I wish I was god. Alter everything and never experience this kind of life.


    In my last seconds I leaned tiredly against the wall and sat on the floor.


    Whether I died now.


    I wouldn¡¯t know what would happen to my sister.


    That hurt me more than everything I¡¯ve done.


    I hated myself because I never tried to be better.


    I looked at my phone and took a picture and attempted for a smile.


    I could feel Dolly standing there, but she couldn¡¯t speak.


    ¡° Al.¡±


    There in the dark I saw people approach.


    I understood who they were.


    I still had 30 seconds left.


    So I set an alarm and closed my eyes ignoring everyone and everything.


    I needed a few seconds of silence.


    ¡­


    The figures who stood there. Their uniform made them seem more like cybernetic monsters than people.


    Their gear mechanical cybernetics and internally modified. I thought they were killing machines who operated through an Al.


    They were just modified.


    One of them just looked down and Dolly fell because of his non-existence features on his face.


    They were waiting for me.


    My senses heightened in that moment I saw a person walk out holding on a long assault shotgun modified with attachments I¡¯ve never seen and he looked right past me and focused on her.


    ¡° Are you Al?¡± It was a simple question and I nodded my head in response to that cold question.


    I looked over my shoulder and  focused on one of the masked man with a painted smile and apathetic eyes as he stood with them.


    He raised his hand over his chest while the other hand his fingers rested on the gun.


    4 heavily armored figures with cybernetic modification wearing distinct masks stood near.


    ¡° We will continue through our transaction.¡± The man who ordered my death in the life I worked for Siphon pointed to Dolly.


    ¡° Is that person your next of kin?¡± He asked.


    ¡° Yes.¡± Then I saw a behemoth executioner walk forward with two black duffel bags wrapped up in blue tape and tossed them over to Dolly.


    I didn¡¯t trust his men.


    Seeing the bags. I didn¡¯t ask if they were filled with money or a bomb.


    I stared forward to that person.


    An alarm went off from phone, before the bags crashed into the floor.


    ¡° Dolly. Take care of her.¡±


    The man who I knew was the leader over them didn¡¯t say anything.


    They waited for her to go.


    One step at a time. She picked up the bags.


    Until the moment I heard the doors automatically open and closed behind her.


    He raised the gun.


    I saw a large spark of thunder and an explosive air of heat spread out from his gun.


    Something whistled and popped and my shirt was on fire.


    One round and then another. One of the soldiers stepped closer while that person fired.


    Sparks exited his gun and my eyes boiled.


    I just accepted it would be better to show nothing.


    I was able to raise my left eye and saw a sniper over me.


    It didn¡¯t really matter if I saw it or that the one who held wore it such an unnerving mask.


    I heard the leaders voice but most of his words was distorted.


    I think my ears within were broken or gone¡­


    My body wasn¡¯t functioning in the way I know.


    Wait. That¡¯s what the leader hand in front of the soldier looked like to me.


    The soldier moved his gun and walked away until it was just that man standing over me.


    Just like the first time I met him.


    He kneeled down. I know he was talking, but the blood clogging my ear drums was deafening out his voice.


    I could not hear a word he said.


    ¡°~Information.¡ª¡ª locations. Confirmed.¡±


    I saw a grenade in his hand and his fingers reaching down to me and I just assume because I could barely feel.


    My jaw was broken and he left it inside.


    I remembered the clock time of that grenade.


    A time delay of 5 seconds.


    Five.


    I felt it, It was getting harder and harder to breathe, but my body didn¡¯t care.


    Four.


    Whether I was to suffocate or die from the wounds or waiting for it to go off.


    Three.


    I had to not feel or think.


    It¡¯s just that it was the opposite of what I wanted to believe.


    My mind was solely focused on the moment the grenade would go off.


    What will happen first when the timer hits 1.


    ¡° I will personally handle your sisters funeral.¡±


    ¡° Trafficker Al.¡±


    One.


    Fated to perish wretchedly.


    That explained everything I¡¯m experiencing now.


    At that moment I heard a loud sound..


    ¡ª-You have died¡ª¡ª

 CH 7: The Devil Laughing PT 2

    [ You have transferred.]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    The statues were killing.


    They killed four.


    I could feel the negative emotions from a hunter standing before me as we both watched when the killing ended.


    The Cruel lord stood over one of them who was crushed and smothered underneath his heels.


    One step forward to crush another.


    I found both my knees were gone, like they were torn and ripped off my parts.


    The blood trailed to my legs resting near a statue holding a large axe over its shoulder.


    It would be far better if I didn¡¯t come here.


    It would be a little merciful.


    I didn¡¯t have the desire to think anymore.


    I had enough.


    ¡° Boss.¡± I heard the hunter speaking to himself staring at the girl the that was split apart.


    Many were injured and some were taken under the statues without weapons.


    A few young hunters tended to those who had the same conditions as me.


    Some had their eyes closed because of deaths and others rested on the floor without a heart beat.


    I only saw this side of living when I worked for Siphon.


    I know the killings won¡¯t change.


    [ You have gained experience.]


    Nothing in this kind of life will ever change.


    I know¡­


    ¡° Boss¡­¡± The old hunter fell to the floor as he mourned for the girl, I saw his mind go in when he stared to the sword on the ground.


    His emotions fluctuated between red energy and a desire to no longer go on.


    I reached out my hand in an attempt to comfort him.


    I know what it¡¯s like to lose something. I couldn¡¯t reach him from here.


    I could only watch him from a distance when he picked up the sword.


    I raised my finger and started to write.


    Hoping that this would be enough.


    I didn¡¯t have the confidence to believe it would change anything.


    [ Don¡¯t give up.]


    [ Choose life.]


    All I could do was leave those two words and accept that I had no control over what may happen.


    Then I focus on my legs that were gone.


    One moment.


    There was an awful scream.


    A statue stood over a man with it¡¯s sword raised above his head.


    The hunter was enthralled by the Cruel Lord in the center of the dungeon, but couldn¡¯t see the one right behind him.


    Before I saw the weight of it drop.


    I saw his death.


    It would split him through the middle.


    Just like in my past lives before.


    ¡°¡­¡± Something crawled in the back of my eyes when I saw it.


    Nothing would ever change. Unless I tried to alter.


    Over and over.


    The different memories I remembered manifested as holographic hallucinations.


    ¡ª Why?


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª Why¡­.?


    ¡ª¡ª Why.


    Why do I feel so hollow.


    I pushed my fingers against each other and snapped my index and thumb very hard.


    Then a bone broke in my thumb.


    I focused on the statue and how it paused before it drop the sword.


    The hunter noticed it¡¯s shadow¡­ and began to ran far away from it.


    Time snap.


    An ability I had taken from a video game.


    Appeared to capture all statues within my awareness and have their movements restricted by time.


    There was this thing moving behind my eyes after breaking my fingers.


    An awful feeling as if something living was there tearing it open from within.


    One side of my vision blurred and turned red.


    But I captured all of them and the Cruel Lord.


    ¡° Al!, Al!¡± I heard a voice and saw the old hunter pull me up as he stared panicked to my left eye.


    Concern I never seen before.


    From someone I¡¯ve never met.


    I just stared to the sword.


    My condition was far more sickly than I had thought.


    I thought of ending my life if I had the chance too.


    ¡°¡­¡± I didn¡¯t say a word when I heard him call it.


    He didn¡¯t show any signs of mentioning the way I looked his sword.


    I wasn¡¯t hiding it from him.


    I thought he was a very kind hunter.


    I leaned forward to where I felt my pants without my knees and I lifted both hands forward and focused.


    ¡° What are you doing!¡± The hunter tried to stop me, but he didn¡¯t press so hard.


    ¡° Al.. You¡¯ve just used your mana¡­ If you go any more than this.¡±


    ¡° I¡¯m okay.¡±


    An aura appeared over my fingers coating them in this cyan glow.


    I was okay. This wasn¡¯t mana I was using.


    This was just another variation of the magic they know.


    ¡° Mend.¡± In that second an inescapable release spread out from my fingers. A stronger aura burst out from the tip of them.


    A thick dense of energy brighter than the light I had before.


    The old hunter stared very tense at the magic and looked away solemnly.


    ¡° You are right Al¡­¡±


    ¡° It¡¯s better if we died here the way we want to.¡±


    Die? That didn¡¯t really matter now.


    All I wanted was to see that faint colored light appear.


    This world was so beautiful that even if I were to die.


    It reminded me that even in the most awful places.


    Miracles like this magic exist.


    Reach your hand forward and think of everything I could have done if this was my original world.


    A form of magic that could have healed my sister existed here¡­


    ¡ª¡ªWhy was I so lucky?


    This miracle was wasted on the wrong one.


    I saw my flesh begun to reconstruct a new skeletal system for my legs.


    The flesh developed over the new bone and soon followed the developed skin.


    Mend required one of my memories to be sacrificed.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I wondered what memory left me this time.


    I pulled myself forward to stand on my new legs.


    The old hunter immediately leaned forward and pulled up.


    He was strong.


    I crawled forward on my stomach when he helped me to stand.


    I felt my bones creak and parts of my body begin to snap and I took a deep breathe unable to see very far away.


    ¡° Old man.¡±


    ¡° Please step back.¡±


    ¡° Will you be alright?¡± He asked concerned, but I wondered why he flinched at the mentioning of calling him old.


    ¡° I¡¯m okay.¡±


    When I noticed he stepped back, he seemed concerned that I would follow his movements like a hawk, but I kept looking until he moved further away from my left eyes sight.


    ¡°¡­¡± In the distance. I could barely see them clear, but I felt their scent, the scent of different people clinging to their forms and moving.


    One my eyes saw the world in red and blur and my other saw it as a killing field.


    People and their lives.


    Hoping to live.


    I clasped my hands together and offered them a prayer.


    ¡° Find them.¡±


    I rearranged the positions of my hands praying and pointed down slightly below my chest.


    ¡° Mark their locations.¡±


    I imagined a flame burning. An aura that off the statues I saw.


    A combination of time snap and fade being executed immediately.


    All my powers were made from a function that as long as I die. I could sacrifice myself for anything I desire and alter reality.


    I didn¡¯t need to resort to death to do something as small as this now.


    Every last one of them within my awareness will be captured and fade.


    That¡¯s when I imagined a parasitic flame coated in elements of fade and time stop using the statues as a burning wick with my memories of my last moments I felt before transferring here.


    That moment I saw the signal of a bright glow.


    I answered the phantoms.


    ¡° Burn them all.¡±


    [ The Black Tongue of the Tragedian has activated.]


    A purple phantom butterfly manifested over the statues.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A memory has faded¡ª]


    My awareness was focused on the statues in this dungeon. The ones on the field holding weapons.


    My phantoms manifested and haunted, stopping time and the moment they touch the statue forms.


    I would feel their mark.


    First it corroded peeling away at the places they touched like parasites feeding on stone, it discolored and morphed what it latched onto.


    Making them habitable materials for burning.


    Then when I felt a phantom full of life energy, a purple glow flared in delayed blinks after 5 of them.


    One of the statues exploded.


    Like a wild fire it infected and found other statues and moved onto the process of fading.


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    [ You have gained experience.]


    When I stared saw the fires.


    They reminded me of something I saw in Siphon.


    White phosphorus executions.


    I felt my senses heightened when ever the statues fell to the floor.


    Swallowed by fade and slowly burning apart.


    It was like I was left in that place again.


    Watching someone burn in the forest.


    Fading away.


    ¡°¡­¡± I watched one of the phantoms linger over my fingers and how it discolored that that part of the skin.


    I saw the old hunter smile.


    Enthralled by flames and standing in front one of them fading in the purple fire.


    His emotions now filled with a constant rush of joy.


    His head hanged low and as he prayed to the god of them.


    He stared up to me.


    The one who brought these phantoms to life.


    ¡° Kill them¡­¡±


    ¡° Kill them all.¡±


    That old man was haunted by something.


    Above him


    A large phantom of a serpent like beast with the head of a spider and butterfly wings and it¡¯s tail coiled around him all statues.


    It lingered because I recalled Siphon.


    I turned away from him and stared off to the distant side to a large gate.


    ¡° Old man.¡±


    ¡° Do you want to go home?¡± I glanced down to my fingers when I felt blood fall down my nose.


    ¡°¡­¡± He was solemn by my words.


    ¡° I¡¯ll take your silence as an answer.¡±


    Then I rearranged the purple phantom and removed the fading effect.


    A golden butterfly fluttered before him, flickering in and out of existence.


    ¡° Follow the fading light.¡±


    ¡° This will take you home.¡±


    He stared at the small light puzzled by it when it fluttered around him.


    ¡° This thing?¡±


    I watched it fade in and out of sight.


    ¡° Its one of my most precious memories.¡±


    ¡° It will protect you. Hunter.¡± Then he stood up and stared to the sword I had taken from the ground.


    I handed the blade to him.


    ¡° Run. Don¡¯t look behind.¡± He reached for the weapon and I walked past.


    When I was near. I spoke to him in a small voice.


    ¡° Don¡¯t give up.¡±


    ¡° Choose life.¡±


    ¡° Vice captain.¡± I looked over my shoulder the moment I heard him that name, but I didn¡¯t answer. He didn¡¯t turn back either.


    ¡° Will I see you on the other side?¡± There was a seriousness to his tone as if he believed in it.


    I stared up to the the roof of the dungeon.


    Thinking of what kind of sky existed outside of this place.


    ¡° I¡¯m sure it will be warm today.¡±


    ¡° May you live a kind life.¡± I walked away with my phantom understanding that my body was too tired to hold a conversation.


    I moved deeper to the blood shed.


    And made my phantoms linger in front of a body we passed.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I sent an order to every living hunter through a system notification and prepared some of my phantoms to guide them away from this place.


    I decided in that moment, to show them a miracle that never would happen for me in life.


    A little change of perspective to a situation where life often kept ending.


    I began writing.


    [ A miracle has occurred.]


    [ The monsters in this area are now being hunted.]


    [ Escape the dungeon.]


    [ Requirements for survival: Follow the Fading lights.]


    [ Rewards: Return home.]


    With each system notification I saw, a new phantom was created and the price for their creation was an indiscriminate fading of one of my memories.


    I had no control what faded and what remained.


    I simply thought of how beautiful it looked when those astral like projections of aura with the forms of butterflies gathered and flickered surrounding me.


    They passed through my fingers and danced through to the other side of my hand.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    [ A memory has faded.]


    Their appearance made my memories appear beautiful, but at the same time.


    I pointed over the statues to the large gate near some statues being burned relentlessly.


    ¡° Go.¡±


    The fading lights flickered from my hands towards the gate of the dungeon.


    I wasn¡¯t interested in the surviving hunters, but I was aware and feel some of their eyes on me.


    The old hunter kneeling before the fire. I looked straight through him and past his figure.


    To the future of what could be done or what I could do more.


    I followed the trail of blood and marked the locations of bodies near us and the places I remembered.


    I went to find bodies to mend.


    There wasn¡¯t many statues left whose eyes I could borrow to find more hunters.


    The statues killing most were burned and those without weapons were spared.


    I saw one of them come alive.


    In that area where the injured were. The statues started to move like the others.


    Holding out their hands and feet to destroy life.


    There were more hunters near, more than there were on the killing field, but their conditions couldn¡¯t allow them to leave and some still believed.


    That standing underneath one meant they will be saved.


    Because of my actions.


    The rules were changing.


    All were hostile now.


    Under a death command from the Architect.


    All of this just for one person to be a vessel for Ash-born.


    The Architect could have been more than.


    I raised my hand and stopped their time.


    [ A hunter has been chosen to be a sacrifice for the living and the dead.]


    [ The hunter will be afflicted by a curse that will attract the monsters until they die.]


    [ Use this time to run through the line of monsters and escape the dungeon.]


    I approached a statue holding onto a harp to pull the statues and the Architects attention to me.


    I cursed my body so the hunter all can go out and experience some kind of life outside of here.


    That was the hope.


    My dreams of seeing that future.


    Made me realize how empty my conscience seems to be.


    I delayed my curse and moved to where the injured were.


    There were a few of them with extreme conditions


    But there was no healer that could take care of that.


    Not in my memories.


    A woman, man, hunter, human. They were all the same to me.


    ¡° Mr¡­?¡± Even if they stand in front of you. Ignore the reality they look like a person and function.


    I approached them and raised out my hands.


    An aura brighter than girl whose hands were shaking was needed.


    I spoke by her side, and saw the wounds she tried intensely.


    Jin-woo. The young Shadow Monarch had one of his legs torn because of them.


    ¡° Recover.¡± I told her when I pressed my fingers over his missing limbs.


    ¡° I will care of it.¡±


    It was our first interaction here. I could never forget the features of someone like her, but¡­ like my memories.


    She was slowly drifting away.


    I took a hold of the aura and scattered it over the worst of places on Jin-woo and her figure blurred because of my poor sight.


    Then the aura glowed brighter as I fed more memories into it.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    She had the most brightest eyes, but I couldn¡¯t see them. The hunters, Jin-woo.


    They were all blurry to me now.


    It was better.


    This was a life. I don¡¯t wish to remember.


    ¡° Al?¡± The aura faded and I moved forward to inspect the new limb manifested by mend. It moved and could extend and flex just like my own.


    I was satisfied. There was no reason for me to stay there.


    ¡° Jin!¡± I turned to leave, but I felt a pair of fingers hold my wrist.


    Jin-woo barely stood up.


    ¡° Thank¡ª¡ª¡°


    ¡° You¡¯ll be alright.¡± I said.


    I lifted his hands of my wrist.


    I did not come here to speak to them.


    My life won¡¯t be any different even if I were to die here more than I can ever count.


    ¡° We¡¯re still here.¡± There was still monsters nearby.


    I walked past him to a hunter who leaned against the floor.


    A hunter with their shoulders pierced by a large stone arrow that tore straight through his shoulder.


    I pressed my fingers over the arrow to fade it away.


    I closed his chin so he would not bite his tongue during the removal of it.


    ¡° This will be painful.¡±


    ¡° Forgive me.¡±


    I held on to the side of his neck and an aura coated my fingers, first I administered a fading and cut off his mutilated arm.


    I didn¡¯t show kindness as I did it. Since I knew my abilities so well.


    In one swift moment that the bad arm fell off.


    The aura warped and glowed cyan again and I focused on a better one than the other he had before.


    While a piece of the fading aura burned away the old one.


    I focused on the new developed one being reconstructed in front of me.


    I didn¡¯t stop with just that.


    I coated his entire form in mend.


    The wounded, the dead. I didn¡¯t think or look at them as I mended.


    I stayed by their side until I understood there was no reason to be near them anymore.


    ¡° Thank you¡­¡± It was a response I didn¡¯t desire to hear from the man whose armed I dismembered.


    Since I decided to mend them.


    I didn¡¯t see them as people.


    When I saw their expressions and the relieved tears that came from fixing something that crippled them.


    I understood why I had this as one of my powers.


    I didn¡¯t want someone to experience suffering like my sister did in their last moments.


    So instead of just focus on what only my eyes could see.


    I had to make sure. I did more than what I thought was perfect, because I didn¡¯t trust my ability for it.


    When they showed their emotion once the light lifted from their body.


    I thought of the inevitable appearance of the monarch invasion in the future from now.


    Dying here may appear to be a far more merciful outcome.


    I didn¡¯t really care about the worst to come.


    All I wanted was to play god.


    They would know the first thing they wished to experience out there.


    I hoped their dreams and desires come true.


    I know it would be a better life than the ones I live.


    I just know.


    My time sense was far too distorted to focus on reality.


    I felt safe because of the silence and distracted by the aura over my skin.


    ¡° My eyes¡­ I can¡­ see¡­¡± Time passed because I slipped into my mind. Not knowing, just functioning when I saw a hunter here.


    The hunter cried as she reached out for my face.


    I held her hand and couldn¡¯t feel anything but indifferent to the emotions she showed me.


    The way they stared at me like I was¡­ more than useful.


    It only dissociated me from this, because I know what kind of person I can turn into.


    They would never look at me the same if they saw my life before this.


    I just smiled to the woman.


    It was the most politest way to thank her for looking at me with those eyes.


    ¡° Thank you¡­ for helping me.¡±


    ¡° Thank you¡­ so much¡­¡±


    Such beautiful eyes that adored my miracle.


    ¡° My pleasure.¡± The words slipped out naturally.


    The aura faded and I stood up to leave again.


    ¡° Hunter. Follow the fading lights. They will help you return home.¡± Those words were my exit phrase to escape any further conversation with them.


    The woman stood up, but turned to the direction where none of my phantoms were.


    Where I was looking forward.


    She was the last one left to mend.


    I couldn¡¯t remember how many I had done before. It just passed by so quickly.


    That I had forgotten this was a dungeon we were in.


    I fixed my shoulder armor.


    ¡° Where are you going?¡± She asked it in the most polite voice.


    ¡° Far from everyone.¡± I replied.


    ¡° Why?¡± To that small question.


    I turned to her.


    ¡° I don¡¯t know.¡± It was a question I was indifferent to and if I were to share my thoughts.


    It would end up turn to an exhausting and long conversation that didn''t have a meaning.


    ¡° I don¡¯t feel like leaving.¡± It was my response to someone who paid just a little attention to me.


    I raised my hand and a phantom manifested to guide her from here in the same way I had done for the others.


    In that moment a phantom showed.


    I imagined my sister standing behind the woman shaking her head as if she were disappointed in how I treated these people.


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    I was always standing from a distance from them, because I was use to being on my own.


    Play a nonchalant observing god and alter reality in places where I see suffering and death.


    In one life I took life away and in this world.


    I was different than who I was.


    ¡° Take care.¡± I said to the hunter and walked to the distance side.


    Where the statues were frozen far from everyone.


    I caressed the clothing of a staute not under the control of the Architect and listened as it played a sad song.


    Blue curse marks appeared over the skin covering the bone of my fingers.


    It was pulsing and glowing.


    When the tune for the song played, memories of my life appeared in the back of my mind as I listened to the melodic tune of Deep Sorrow from the Eminence Of Shadow.


    Slow, calm and something I knew could heal my mind, but my skin was stained red from others blood.


    It wasn¡¯t just that.


    I could vividly see my sins mixed with those kind memories.


    In this life there are people that would never face the atrocities I know.


    They had another waiting for them on the other side.


    I was envious for all of them.


    I had only myself.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡® Brother!¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® One day I want to be an aunty. I want some cute nephews and nieces!¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® I don¡¯t mind staying here, I just want you to always be with me.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Al! Why did you do that to Dolly! No don¡¯t you dare say anything to me. I¡¯ll kill you, I love you, but I will do it. Go back and apologize to her.¡¯


    ¡® No. I won¡¯t.¡¯


    ¡®¡­ Why?¡¯


    ¡® I don¡¯t know.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Sera. Would you like to have something sweet again?¡¯


    ¡® I think I will be okay, but I don¡¯t want to go to hospital.¡¯


    ¡® Sorry. I want you to be well.¡¯


    ¡® It hurts when they needle me. They did it wrong again.¡¯


    ¡® I know. I know. They were¡­ They were only helping me okay? Something happened that day and they couldn¡¯t do their job right. One more time, for me?¡¯


    ¡® As long as they don¡¯t hurt me again.¡¯


    ¡® I¡¯ll be there. Like I always do.¡¯


    ¡® Okay Al. Don¡¯t you lie to me again or I¡¯ll really cry.¡¯


    ¡® Fighting.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Mr Al. Things aren¡¯t looking good.¡¯


    ¡® Why?¡¯


    ¡® Her lungs are not working as they should. We have tried the last thing that could help her, but it harmed them more.¡¯


    ¡®¡ª- I¡¯m sorry. The only way is to put her off the machine and her lungs might recover and breathe on it¡¯s own, but it¡¯s too damaged to keep going.¡¯


    ¡®¡ª Because she was born a disabled?¡¯


    ¡® No. Her immune system has grown very weak over the time she has been here.¡¯


    ¡® There is a chance her body won¡¯t make it if we were to go through an operation.¡¯


    ¡® Mr Al?¡¯


    ¡® It¡¯s tough when our loved ones go through this, please decide what we should do for her.¡¯


    ¡® If you wish for us to stop, we can arrange for a new room in a ward and spend the last moments you have with her or go through an emergency operation that may keep her alive, but on a machine.¡¯


    ¡® It¡¯s better to not go through the operation Mr Al. There is a chance something will go wrong and she may not be awake to feel it, but there will be even more pain done internally to her body.¡¯


    ¡® Mr Al. I¡¯m so sorry.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® No¡­ I don¡¯t want to go there¡­ I don¡¯t want to!¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Al, I want you to be loved and I want to see you happy. I¡¯m going to see you again, but I¡¯m going to miss you brother.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® I love you.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® See you tomorrow¡­¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Don¡¯t leave me here¡­¡¯


    ¡® I won¡¯t. I will come back.¡¯


    ¡® I promise.¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡® Brother Al.¡¯


    ¡® Bishop.¡¯


    ¡® I don¡¯t care if my sister will recover her ability to move in the next world. That person you say can walk. That is not my sister. My sister was born paralyzed.¡¯


    ¡® Why would I want be in a world where my sister will suffer again?¡¯


    ¡® But she won¡¯t feel suffering. It¡¯s gods world. People who never done wrong in this life will be his children, they will have better bodies and all disabilities will be purged in that place.¡¯


    ¡® So, I¡¯m supposed to just accept that my sister suffered in this place, just so she could experience a new body in a different world that¡¯s better?¡¯


    ¡® Stop manipulating me with your words.¡¯


    ¡® God is very kind. Please understand.¡¯


    ¡® God? If he were so kind, He would have made her feel no suffering before and when she was taken from me.¡¯


    ¡®¡­¡¯


    ¡® So what if he can fix disabilities and make a place where suffering doesn¡¯t exist at all.¡¯


    ¡® That isn¡¯t enough. It would never be enough. That isn¡¯t enough for me¡­¡¯


    ¡® Do you know what I saw before life took her away?¡¯


    ¡® You don¡¯t really understand your god, do you?¡¯


    ¡®¡­¡¯


    ¡® I won¡¯t curse your beliefs, I don¡¯t follow your preachings so I have nothing to say against it, but I want to make something clear.¡¯


    ¡® No-one will ever be as merciful as I would. If I was him just for a day.¡¯


    ¡® I don¡¯t know much about this afterlife, but I hope your kind god feeds my sister sweets in that place.¡¯


    ¡® I hope she is fed constantly and experiences a life where she could have anything she wants, something I could do when she was here.¡¯


    ¡® I¡¯m sorry brother Al.¡¯


    ¡® It¡¯s okay. I don¡¯t really feel anything anymore.¡¯


    ¡® I think it¡¯s because I was thinking of her again.¡¯


    ¡® I¡¯m sorry Bishop. I can¡¯t control when it happens.¡¯


    ¡® I think I¡¯ll learn how to get it right soon.¡¯


    ¡® Al¡­ crying is a good way to show you are still there.¡¯


    ¡® Not for me Bishop.¡¯


    ¡® I¡¯m not that person anymore¡­¡¯


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    It was like watching two different screens on one side You watch your life and sometimes your memories begin to blur near the end of them and the other was what you see in front of you.


    I saw people both living and dead.


    One was clear in my mind and the other was blurry in front of me.


    The song was soothing and leading me to places where I didn¡¯t want to go.


    I can close my eyes and rest listening to that tune.


    Nothing mattered. Nothing mattered at all.


    I wanted to sleep for long this time and I wanted to dream of my sister when we were young.


    I don¡¯t want to transfer.


    But for that reason. My senses was on the edge and keeping me from dreaming.


    My sister died a very long time ago, but my time sense and my involvement with transfers make it seem like it only happened a few hours before.


    I trailed a phantom circling around me.


    In the blinks of my eyes closing despite my activate awareness over everything. I would see hunters far away.


    I observed them as they attempted to escape from here through my phantoms.


    Jin-woo and beautiful Miss Healer and the original survivors and those I helped before.


    They all stood at the distance and some looking to my direction waiting.


    For the phantoms to guide them out.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I only wanted to listen to this tune then sink to the bottom of the dark.


    ¡° No! NO!¡ª¡± The hunters were holding someone.


    The woman who had this condition with her eyes.


    I was too tired to think about what they were saying.


    My entire focus was on the statues moving closer.


    Before I had to perform a shadow transfer to make a portal for them to exit the dungeon.


    I wasn¡¯t a shadow now.


    ¡°¡­¡± I looked to the large gate standing tall where the lights creaked out from under it.


    Showing the outside.


    [ The doctrine of the Idle Baphomet has activated.]


    [ Those marked by the Idle Baphomet will be killed without rest.]


    [ All monsters will be controlled by ~+~ and orders will be carried out to intiate all out attacks on marked targets.]


    [ Monsters will continuously attack until there is no life left in them.]


    We all had our role when it comes to life.


    I accepted being a No-Life for the rest of my life.


    Now I had another to be disposable with the only function needed for this moment¡ª- be useful.


    Hunters were more valuable than me.


    They had one thing I could never make on my own.


    A future. The resolve to choose and endure for a better life.


    I raised my hand over my chest because my life wasn¡¯t meaningful at all.


    This was just another place I would die.


    My corpse will never be buried.


    I was satisfied with that.


    ¡° May they all live kind lives.¡±


    [ 5 minutes before monsters will initiate their final attack.]


    [ An exit will be created.]


    I begun to initiate preparation for all their saftey.


    Mend as many of the dead I could find before the statues and the Architect destroy and mutilate my body.


    All this for their family outside the gate.


    ¡° Ah¡­ I¡¯m such a good worker.¡± There wasn¡¯t a need for me to do it.


    I hated people.


    I hated people who placed their lives in danger.


    But I over think it.


    And believe that someone would end up just like me.


    Who doesn¡¯t care for life.


    And live with the ideology of a monster.


    ¡° I bet there¡¯s no-one whose a better support like me.¡±


    I hope the gods of these hunters would provide me some reward.


    Like a honey friend chicken and fried rice or something interesting and tasty to eat.


    Something cheap would be enough.


    I had very poor expectations for living¡­.


    A beautiful woman who was madly in love with me would do it for me though.


    Something like that would never happen.


    So I¡¯m satisfied with the lesser things in life.


    ¡°¡­¡± Like dying meaningless for no reason at all.


    I located many of the bodies marked by phantoms and they lingered over their locations.


    [ A hunter who has been killed by a sword.]


    [ A hunter who has been killed.]


    I don¡¯t believe I have the luxury of time to mend each one of them.


    There wasn¡¯t time to do as I please.


    A memory to speed up the process and connect it with The Black Tongue Of The Tragedian where all the hunters laid neatly in a row.


    I thought of that experience and fed it through vocal projection with the thoughts of life mending.


    I stood in front of area where I mended those people before.


    I spoke with a clear voice then as if it were some ancient and majestic spell.


    ¡° Sympathy for the Fallen.¡±


    [ The Black Tongue Of The Tragedian has activated.]


    A large magical formation emerged over the ground and all the hunters both flesh and blood underneath my phantoms marking were teleported in my direct line of sight.


    Blood, flesh all line up in a row and mending at a speed that defied my own mend.


    They were cradled in this glow.


    I saw flesh and blood being recreated and forming a person.


    A young girl who looked no older than a teenager laid on the floor with an insignia of a lion attached to her side.


    She wasn¡¯t a destroyed as the others, but there were curse marks on her skin, some kind of curse magic in this world.


    I reached out to the marks and begun to fade them from her skin.


    Like scraping hair of the skin.


    I faded those letters off like peeling.


    ¡® Aren''t you afraid?¡®


    ¡® ¡­¡®


    ¡® If I were a good person. I''d say you shouldn''t be here.¡®


    ¡® ¡ª-But If I were an honest man I would say.¡®


    ¡® Do as you please.¡®


    ¡® If it hasn''t happened yet, there''s no need to fear it.¡®


    Hunters were people who should be strong, but in the stories I saw.


    They were just things that were created to serve a meaningless goal.


    Just like how these hunters would always be killed again and again by the Architect.


    This was their design for their existence.


    Live out their lives up to the points their meaning wasn¡¯t useful anymore, because death was just death and this was just a completed story.


    So it didn¡¯t really matter.


    What lived.


    What died.


    What experienced cruelty.


    Who experienced pain.


    Just like me we were all fools lending out our lives, because those were the only options to live and survive with now.


    [ Mend has been applied.]


    ¡® You''re leaving me¡­?¡®


    ¡® If you wanted to. You could always use your sword to make up for me leaving you for dead.¡®


    ¡® It wouldn''t satisfy you.¡®


    ¡® You wouldn''t even feel a thing.¡®


    ¡®¡­¡®


    ¡® If you make it through this¡­¡®


    ¡® A tongue wouldn''t be enough.¡®


    ¡® I prefer the option where you try to make me fall madly in love with you first, If it works out then maybe we could move on to a red wedding.¡®


    ¡® ¡­¡®


    I saw a sword crushed and leaning on it¡¯s side. Broken from the weight of the Cruel Lord.


    I thought weapons and flesh were the same and all it needed was to be held on and feed of bit of memory.


    ¡° Mend.¡±


    It was easier to mend something not living, because they won¡¯t speak or remember what you had done.


    ¡® I will kill you.¡®


    ¡® I hope you do. It would be far better to die young than by something without a heart.¡®


    ¡® Take care and¡ª-¡®


    ¡® ¡ª- May you perish wretchedly.¡®


    [ A memory has faded.]


    After I added my mending on the areas I faded.


    I placed the sword over her chest and wrapped her arms onto it and lifted her to the middle of the formation where the other hunters laid.


    In the moment I carried her. It reminded of the times I use to do the same for my sister.


    ¡° Mod. What are the chances for hunters returning to life?¡±


    [ 50%] I thought about the cup of reincarnation and if not for that there wouldn¡¯t be a chance for people to return.


    ¡° If I used Alter Reality would they survive outside this dungeon?¡±


    [ 0%]


    ¡° Why?¡±


    [ All things must die.]


    The future outside this place is much more despairing that the experiences here.


    Everyone of them will go.


    I know that it might appear different if Jin-woo had inherited Ashborns blessing.


    I changed that.


    There survival rate outside this place ended because I lived.


    Because I stopped the Architect from killing anymore.


    That led to the reality of this world diverging from the one it was meant to be.


    A life where an E Rank Hunter who received the power of the Shadow Monarch Ash born and lives on to save this reality.


    I could have just watched as many would die over and over.


    Many would choose that cruelty because they had seen the future where Jin had saved world and changed everything.


    Nothing really mattered and nothing changed at all.


    People still had the memories they died after the cup of reincarnation.


    It was a different scenery now.


    But I felt like nothing had really changed at all.


    I stepped out of the formation and saw the statues who were meant to be frozen by time surrounding me with their eyes glowing.


    The Architect stood in the middle of all 5 of them.


    ¡° You¡¯re different¡ª¡°


    [¡ª¡ª from the rest of those flies.]


    I cut the Architects communication through the systems voice.


    ¡° There is this saying humans have when it comes to these moments.¡± I told him.


    ¡° When in Rome. Act like a Roman.¡±


    ¡° When you¡¯re in a dungeon.¡±


    ¡° Become a beast.¡±


    The Architect felt the effect of me disrupting his thoughts from speaking through his own system.


    The way he looked at me was more intrigued by the curse marks on my skin that my influence over it.


    His eyes couldn¡¯t move away from them.


    ¡° Those markings. Why do I feel so much pleasure when I look at you?¡±


    ¡° Pleasure?¡± I couldn¡¯t feel anything from these markings all they did was glow.


    The Architect eyes snapped wide open and a crazy and distorted smile showed similar to that of the cruel lords.


    An arm began to breakout from behind him.


    It wasn¡¯t the only one.


    ¡°You won¡¯t understand¡ª-¡±


    [¡ª-But I have this very strong feeling that when I kill you...]


    [ I can live forever too.]


    It was then I felt the air shift and heard the sound of his movements when he disappeared where he stood.


    ¡° You have an ugly smile again.¡±


    ¡° That statue showed the same expression.¡±


    [ That¡¯s because killing humans is fun.]


    ¡° I know.¡± I¡¯ve seen people like you before.


    The killing instinct appeared above me.


    I rushed to the left when I saw a sword break the ground below.


    Then another sword arching straight through my chest.


    And another blade about to be thrust forward with his left hand.


    I saw every movement he made in the fractions of seconds before it happened.


    Each time.


    I cracked a finger to dull his actions from working under time snap until the rest of my fingers on my left hand was broken.


    There was only a space between us, but I was only able to block 5 potential attacks in sacrifice for my fingers.


    [ You will run out of your fingers soon.]


    [ Surrender.]


    [ I can see that body won¡¯t last long.]


    I only had my other hand left to break.


    But I had no strength to stand longer.


    I made an effort to not care for what happen to my body, but I believed there is only a limit you can dissociate yourself from it.


    Till you see that it can¡¯t keep up with your mind.


    My breathing. My stamina and endurance wasn¡¯t something that can match the things I imagined for it to do.


    So I pushed it and broke it past what I know I could take.


    It wasn¡¯t my body.


    I brushed my fingers under an aura of mend till all 5 of them were no longer painful to feel and placed my hand over my chest to stabilize my heart racing with long and slow controlled breaths.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    ¡°¡­¡± I looked to his statues and their famished eyes focused on my skin.


    ¡° And what do they feel?¡±


    [ Everything I do.]


    He raised an axe with his multi armed form and disappeared again.


    [ Die.]


    ¡° Come.¡± I extended my hand like I was going to swing forward with a bat and fed a bit of aura to my hands and imagined a sword of light with the elements of fade manifesting in my hand.


    The Architect and statues under the temptation of the curse mark on my skin.


    They all rushed without their minds, but I was too blind to see it clearly.


    So I surrender my sight to lean on my other senses, scent, feeling , but I surrender myself to the feeling of doom and the rest of my powers in this world.


    I surrender myself to the modification system.


    I surrendered the rest of mind to all my titles.


    [ Sacrificial Devil has activated.]


    [ Idol Baphomet has activated.]


    [ Tragedian has activated.]


    Then I saw in my blurred vision.


    A sword of fading light.


    And above me


    I saw a dark figure approaching from above.


    There was this restless darkness inside of me crawling through my memories and probing me into surrendering my control over to it by showing all the worst things hidden within all my memories and exposing them again.


    It¡¯s voice spoke in a different language transitioning between distorting and human tone.


    A language where the Architect ability could not interpret.


    But I remembered.


    Don¡¯t close your eyes. It won¡¯t disappear.


    Don¡¯t hesitate.


    No fear.


    Don¡¯t think.


    Just kill.


    ¡° I see you.¡± I raised my weapon without care of how my eyes were so focused on the weapons aiming at me from multiple directions. I stared straight through them to the face I could not see.


    My eyes were blind, but I was aware of everything in this dungeon.


    [ All Eye See: No fear and indifference to your circumstances allows you to see the world through a different point of view. You see through the eyes of your Phantoms. Passive Skill.]


    I saw the Architect from above. I appeared right beside him looking at him dead in the eyes.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    There was tinge of horror as he found himself unable to snuff me out.


    Unlike my other phantoms who appeared in the forms of butterflies.


    I had talons.


    I had a beak and I had 4 wings, but I stared madly at the Architect who touched me with one of his arms.


    I passed through his fingers and clawed at his eyes.


    Although my claws passed through.


    It was enough.


    My talons dug through his skin.


    [ Time snap has infected an entity.]


    [ Fading has tainted an entity.]


    I flew away as my body who stood underneath.


    Appeared to be lost in a trance with this apathetic look when the Architect fell.


    Holding onto a large sword of purple light.


    I felt the area begin to distort from it¡¯s presence, because even the ground was being corrupted by the elements of fade.


    I felt my sense of awareness began to drift away the moment I saw my body lunge and hammer the entire blade straight through the Architect from below.


    ¡­


    [ The Sword Of Fading Light: All entities pierced with this weapon are trapped under all its effects until it fades. It does not harm the entity, but all effects are indefinite and weapon is indestructible before fading.]


    The moment I saw it.


    I left the sword inside of his chest and created another.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    Then I stuck another one inside of him.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    And then another I left in his stomach.


    ¡° There is two abilities you should be familiar with now.¡±


    ¡° I can¡¯t personally destroy you on my own without them.¡±


    ¡° So understand what it feels like to live inside your body unable to do anything while the rest of yourself goes away very slowly here.¡±


    ¡° You should be most familiar with this one.¡± I showed him.


    How I used and ignited the system notifications over all the hunters and directed the Phantoms to guide each one to the most safest route that will guarantee their survival away from me.


    I snuffed the notification screen between my fingers and watched it shatter against the floor.


    ¡° What a waste.¡±


    I showed him how I used everything that was siphoned from him and took control over the Cruel Lord using my own system.


    With the intention for it to fire of a powerful heat ray to break the gate right open.


    The Architect observed everything with everything stripped from him.


    His system. His ability to function. Everything taken.


    First. A phantom appeared over it and touched its form.


    [ A statue has been infected.]


    The Cruel Lord raised his head A large amount of magical energy focused to the direction of the gate.


    I channeled all of its power in that beam to the extent it would be destroyed the moment the magic left from its body.


    [ Your will has been executed.]


    Something about the Architect not being able to have control over his own creation, but unable to react because he was bewitched by the curse.


    Allowed me to see a glimpse of his eyes turn, but immediately snapping on to me.


    It was a sudden moment, but I learned of the extent the Idle Baphomet had control over someone.


    It was showing signs of breaking through time snap.


    As someone as powerful as the Architect even he couldn¡¯t fight the temptation within.


    A large ray of light that almost be compared to a dragons final breath changed everything he saw.


    I kept an eye on him through a phantom while I watched as everything began to vanish away.


    A massive violent ray of energy gathered to the center of the Cruel Lord eyes and then expelled a large flood of magic exploding through the dungeon.


    Anything in its way vaporized and was consumed by the pure magic energy and destructive power of the self destroying Cruel Lord.


    It burned through and created a great valley leading out to a large gate swirling and twisting with magic.


    It burned straight through and into a different dungeon. The air was changed by it


    [ All hostile entities have been drawn to your location.]


    It was a once in a life-time experience you¡¯d never see in a world without magic and numerous remains of monsters were found by Phantoms on the outer edges of it.


    [ All hostile entities have surrounded you.]


    ¡° My role was to be nothing less than useful.¡±


    ¡° But look at this mess.¡±


    [ You have created a transparent blade coated with fade.]


    A sword of fading light reformed in my hand because¡­ I¡¯m not gonna stand here and wait.


    I rested the edge of sword of light against the side of my ear and leaned forward and pulled down while I turned my head towards the opposite side I looked.


    In the distance I saw phantoms flying into the ravine and hunters chasing after them.


    I saw everything all through my phantoms eyes.


    ¡° I¡¯m very happy. I could be useful.¡±


    I felt so much blood spilling from the open wound I gently pressed into my neck.


    I looked down.


    That¡¯s when I saw a body near my feet and it holding onto my ankles.


    ¡­


    [ You have been transfered to a temporary moment in your life.]


    I looked down to the pile of people stacked over each other like firewood.


    All of them burned by white phosphorus.


    ¡° Did they have to go so far?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t the real white phosphorus. It was an alias for the atrocity we know as white zombie.


    We understood they were tortured before it touched their skin, but none of the people in the room wanted to say it.


    ¡° Ah¡­!!!¡±


    Because the people who did it to them.


    They were our own.


    We worked for the same organization, but couldn¡¯t think of a reason why a person would only cut open their faces after torture and leave them here still living.


    The most cruel thing was to see someone you¡¯d believe to be dead, in pain and breathing heavily.


    Helping them was not an option any of us can do. They were less than what was considered unable to save.


    Nothing could heal that chemical or those wounds that were inflicted, but worst.


    Their minds had becomes zombie and they were crying as if they were still people.


    They were going to die on their own, but worse they could never live even if we belonged to the UN who sought to prevent these things from happening.


    You can¡¯t save someone who was reduced to a zombie.


    ¡° This isn¡¯t fucking right!¡± One of the soldiers reached out his gun and shot the floor when he heard a soft and painful moan.


    A child who was younger than most of us flinched from his weapon.


    I knew what he would do the moment before it happened.


    Since this was a transfer in my past.


    I had already lived this experience before.


    I walked up to the boy and patted his shoulder because he couldn¡¯t look away from the child underneath his feet.


    Still breathing and shaking without his mind, eyes hanging on different sides.


    They were still people even if they looked like they were used and left here as a warning.


    I could tell the boy was angry at all of us, because of we were doing nothing here.


    So I took his gun from him and finished off the child he didn¡¯t kill properly.


    I fired above their heart. One shot to the head and two at the chest.


    This was Siphon way of allowing others to know.


    We were here.


    ¡° Boss¡­¡± It was hard at first, because at this point of time.


    I never had to kill someone.


    This boy had to do it, but someone had to bear that sin.


    Children were disposable on this side of life.


    It was the ruthless truth you learn very quickly when you are a person of Siphon, but you see more when you are there, hunting, scavenging as a trafficker for them.


    A young child can be almost anything¡ª- an unsuspecting bomber, an assassin trained lightly to shoot a gun or something much more.


    A disposable lure to find and locate other people.


    It became instinctual to learn very quickly from repeated experiences to find and kill enemies using their own repeating methods and because of it.


    The atmosphere became extremely cruel to the stage. They seemed no different than a dog.


    Show them a cruel reality.


    Offer them something that could help them escape it.


    And show them you are the only one who will be their for them for the rest of their lives.


    That future doesn¡¯t happen at this point in time, but I saw signs it was happening many weeks from now.


    I handed the gun back to the boy and walked back to my position, but he waited near me because of the others in the room.


    ¡° The next time something like that happens.¡±


    ¡° Be aware. What can harm and what will kill you.¡±


    We were still new to this. We were left on our own with little information, but to just find villages and places people might be.


    I knew all of us did not have the conscience to just walk away after we had found them.


    Nobody wanted to have that kind of memory, but it was ruthlessly exposed to us.


    It was something I know could ruin someone and deteriorate them later in life. It happened to people who work with Siphon.


    It happened to me.


    So I chose to ease the burdens of those around me by doing the things I knew some of them could not do at this moment while working in this job.


    Someone had to function and get paid to feed their families or their greed and someone had to rot within.


    I knew my worth.


    Be useful.


    Be useful.


    ¡° I will do it.¡± Keep the rest functioning and survive.


    They all had something that I didn¡¯t have.


    A place they can go back too after.


    I motioned the soldiers to leave the shed and I stared at the gun by my side with a twisted heart.


    It was hard, because not all of us were terrible people. I know I wasn¡¯t as twisted as the others I¡¯ve met in this place.


    Sometimes you had to do something terrible to show mercy.


    Sometimes you know only one way to do it right.


    I didn¡¯t have a resolve to just leave them and walk away.


    I prayed against the gun.


    ¡° God¡­¡±


    ¡° In Another Life.¡±


    ¡° Please show them a kinder miracle than this.¡±


    I turned the modified pistol down.


    Each bullet I heard leave the gun. It reassured me that I would die the most wretched death imaginable.


    I felt disgusting and I was ashamed, but I could feel nothing when I pulled aside a different body and shot them in the same way again.


    One shot- Follow by two after.


    I could hear my heart beating through my ears.


    I didn¡¯t really stare at what I had done. I looked straight forward to the faces just looking back, eyes closed and leaning lifelessly against the other.


    It hurt me knowing. There were still more who were understanding or waiting for what was to come.


    So I never looked at them when they were alive.


    Their faces and deformed expressions haunted me.


    I didn¡¯t deserve to live or exist.


    All I muttered before it happened was¡ª ¡° I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    I knew one day hell would catch up with me even though I did not understand what that kind of place would look like when that time comes.


    All I knew was each time I heard the gun.


    I was one step from it.


    One sound from falling into it.


    Hell was a place the people who hated us wished for us to go.


    I wasn¡¯t so afraid.


    It sounded like a place where I belong.


    Pick up- Drag- Shoot- Drag- Pile.


    My heart never stopped haunting my ears.


    I made sure they were properly dead and wouldn¡¯t remember their torture.


    There on the side. A young boy looked at me and lowered his head after the last one dropped after I let go of his shirt.


    I stared at him straight in the eyes and wondered if he had been there for a majority of it.


    I did not know.


    ¡° Boss. The others are waiting.¡±


    ¡° I¡¯ll do my job better this time. I promise.¡± There was a certain fear he had in his voice when speaking to me.


    I think it was because of my mind.


    I know I wasn¡¯t normal now.


    I could feel it.


    What I had done was showing through my skin.


    I didn¡¯t have to kill anymore.


    It felt like I was relieved that it was over.


    It seemed like I hadn¡¯t done it properly and had to go over them again.


    My anxious mind was cornering me into a place where¡­ I didn¡¯t do it properly.


    Like I had to do it all over again, as if I did not do it right.


    I hated that feeling, but my eyes lingered over each one of them checking if any of them might be still alive.


    I tapped him over the shoulder and tore my focus away.


    ¡° Make enough money, but don¡¯t be us when your older.¡±


    ¡° Boss?¡±


    ¡° Don¡¯t work for anyone.¡±


    ¡° Notice the way people treat captives.¡±


    ¡° Don¡¯t forget the way they treat them.¡±


    ¡° They will treat the people who work for them the same way.¡±


    ¡° Live longer than those around you and never forget.¡±


    ¡° Be ruthless.¡±


    ¡° Be cruel.¡±


    ¡° Siphon reward these kind of people.¡±


    I stared out the broken building.


    It has been awhile since I was here.


    That sky was the only reminder.


    I wasn¡¯t in Siphon anymore.


    [ A past memory has faded.]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    My hands were shaking through out my fingers to the rest of my hands.


    I didn¡¯t care about the pain I felt from my throat.


    I thought I transfered, but it felt like only a moment now I¡¯m here.


    I didn¡¯t want to go back to the past.


    It only forced me to remember and live it again.


    ¡° Mend.¡±


    I fix the large cut from my ear down to my collar bone and reacted to a shift in the air.


    I moved my head to the side the moment there a pressure and sound from behind.


    [ A hostile entity has attacked you.]


    [ A hostile entity has appeared above you.]


    [ A hostile entity has appeared behind you and is attacking the formation.]


    I snapped my fingers the moment I received it.


    [ Time snap has been activated.]


    And then I sent a sword straight through their chests.


    The closest one near was the Architect who had attempted to use a statue to pull out the sword of fading lights, but burned out of sight.


    The rest of its body was still in the process of fading, but I fed it with more.


    I moved and kicked the statue off the Architect, but it burned the aura. I directed down my heels.


    ¡° You appear like you are missing one more sword.¡± I reformed a sword and stabbed it straight down his chest.


    Under the aura that was eating him from inside and the powerful temptation of the Idle Baphomet that was controlling his mind.


    I could still feel that linger sensation I had felt in that memory.


    This overwhelming allure of addiction where I must do it properly.


    Where I must be better.


    I could see him trying to communicate to me.


    It was the feeling I could feel from others that made me remove my restriction I held over his system.


    ¡° I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    [ It¡­.doesn¡¯t¡­. hurt¡­.?]


    ¡° It should never feel like anything.¡±


    When I touched his skin and most of my swords faded, but the one I was holding onto.


    I saw the most distorted and wicked smile on his face the moment he regained some form of control.


    Those famished eyes staring straight at me and all his arms around me.


    Tempted by that short moment of freedom.


    I took a grip of the sword and pressed down until I felt the blade push straight through the ground.


    There was this feeling when I saw him understand what was really happening with his body.


    There was some form of clarity in his eyes despite the curse marks on my skin.


    [ What¡¯s your name?]


    I couldn¡¯t help but say something only he should know.


    ¡° Cartenon. Al Cartenon.¡±


    In that moment he placed his only hand on my shoulder.


    [¡­] There was a moment of emotions in that look he showed as he stared towards this dungeon and down to the statues fading just like him.


    [ You did all this?]


    ¡° Death doesn¡¯t have to be painful.¡±


    Under the brief moment when I felt the release of Idle Baphomet.


    New arms erupted out of his back and reached for my face.


    I stared in his eyes unfeeling to his actions reaching for my life.


    In that short moment.


    I thought I just might die, before the rest of fading caught up to it.


    ¡° Al Cartenon. The name of the life who killed the Architect and immortalized him.¡±


    ¡° In this life.¡±


    ¡° I¡¯ll be what you always wanted to be.¡±


    [ You have gained experience.]


    His eyes stared straight forward, but I lowered one of the swords he held in his multi armed form and just the lightest weight against it shattered his hand starting from his knuckles.


    The discoloration made it seem so fragile and sand fell to the floor.


    I had an understanding when it came to Monarch deaths.


    This time he didn¡¯t fade. He became a different sort of sand.


    A dark grain like salt.


    I observed as his body broke apart and crumbled but one of his hands holding onto a ring stayed reaching out to me.


    I took hold of a black ring.


    [ You have recieved ¡® The Ring Of Cartenon¡¯ ]


    [ Description: The one named Al Cartenon, inheritance from a creation who chased after immortality.]


    The purple aura grew more brightly over his form feeding on everything, but the floor.


    The sand burned inside the light.


    I watched him the rest of him burn out over the ground.


    [ Fading: A curse modification with the element to fade and rot entities.]


    On the ring. There was a small description placed on the side. A marking of some language I know I¡¯ve never seen but understood because of his power.


    [ Death doesn¡¯t always have to be painful¡­]


    [ Sometimes¡­ It leaves you in a heart beat.]


    It felt like something split open in my chest and cut off my ability to breathe, but I found it funny and haunting.


    Those were a different translation from the notification I saw before my sister died.


    It was over now.


    The Architect and most of his statues.


    There wasn¡¯t anymore hostile living in this dungeon.


    Most of the hunters were following my phantoms.


    There was nothing more to do besides ignore Ash-born who lingered nearby.


    I did everything that could be considered fun at this time.


    I gained some new powers and I will try to remember them for the next transfer.


    In the end of it all.


    I found myself kneeling over a six pointed thorn helmet that one of stone statues wore.


    There wasn¡¯t anything to do, but die and transfer.


    The dungeon was empty.


    I reached out and placed my chin over the spike of the crown until something poked through the skin and grinding through my chin bone.


    I noticed¡­


    The amount of blood that was slowly crawling up my knees.


    An illusion¡­ No¡­


    This was that feeling I had before I transferred.


    Before the executioners came to take my life.


    A Psychological Suicide.


    [ A new ability has activated: Auditory hallucinations.]


    It sounded like it was raining and although there was no more statues here.


    I could hear the melody clear singing from somewhere.


    The rain sounded very heavy now, like bodies pouring into a stream.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    When I close my eyes.


    The whole world drops dead and I¡¯d see my life. A place I was always so happy and care free and felt like nothing will ever change that.


    Now. When I close them.


    I don¡¯t see home anymore.


    Just a miserable person who did terrible things to other people.


    I opened my eyes because I saw a weak and fragile glow.


    There I saw an Miss healer with tears falling down her face using her healing powers over me and I was resting on my back surrounded by strangers who seem familiar.


    It would seem like someone had pulled me away from the spike. I could still feel the wind pushing through the hole.


    I pushed under my chin.


    ¡° It¡¯s not working.¡± I heard a voice say.


    ¡° It will work!¡±


    This isn¡¯t going to work.


    This wasn¡¯t something she did not have the ability to fix.


    I thought of tainting her healing aura and alter it with elements of fade so it would stop healing.


    I know I could not speak through my voice.


    I just raised one of my fingers.


    [ Stop.]


    It¡¯s not that I can¡¯t mend it.


    I had so many abilities that all of them only had one purpose.


    Kill. I don¡¯t really want to live out my life in that same place again.


    I don¡¯t want to really spend all my time killing monsters or people.


    She tried to heal me.


    It just wasn¡¯t a broken skill like mine.


    So I raised my finger and spoke through the system with no remorse, because she didn¡¯t listen.


    [ Fade.]


    Her pure green healing powers bright was violently being infected by my aura.


    [ The Black Tongue Of The Tragedian has tainted an entity.]


    I could see the horror because of the unknown power changing in her hands.


    There had only been one color I know when it came to a healers magic.


    A warm and soothing green glow that made you feel good, but under this light I desired for it to only exist to do one thing.


    Kill me.


    My voiceless words was like temptation being amplified even though I ordered her to do it.


    She was unwilling to follow that word I projected through the system.


    ¡° No¡­ No¡­.¡± As she tried to cut of her mana and start over again.


    I imitated the same thing.


    We both use an ability.


    One evoked a green light and the other tainting it to a purple shade.


    ¡° Heal¡­.¡± The aura would sometimes fade, but she wasn¡¯t as strong in front of my words.


    The hunters saw what I had done. Their expressions morphing to the things I could hardly feel.


    Parts of me was fading.


    The Black Tongue of the Tragedian wasn¡¯t a kind ability, but it worked through the system.


    I only said the one thing I know.


    [ Fade.]


    Each time the light was tainted. A part of me was gone.


    [ A memory has faded.]


    I was pressuring her into murder. I offered my full consent because it was me who would be killed.


    I was comforted at the moments where I only saw purple in her hands.


    She stared blankly.


    ¡° I can¡¯t do this anymore¡­¡±


    ¡° I tried so hard this time¡­¡±


    My mind became clear when I understood what the Architect had experienced.


    The feeling of watching bits of yourself being torn and disappear, but unable to feel it.


    Like the frames of a photo being burned from the edges.


    My body was brutally faded.


    I could see how deformed my body appeared in those blue eyes.


    [ Thank you.]


    [ Most beautiful Miss Healer.]


    Before I saw the rest of me go.


    I left a small gift for her through a system on a phantom.


    It lingered over her shoulder and infected it inside of her.


    [ An ability Fade has been transferred.]


    ¡ª You have been killed.


    ¡ª¡ªYou have gained a Black Soul.


    Then she vanished right in front of me.


    I found myself in this dark place.


    A status screen masquerading as god glowed.


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    All I do was die.


    I didn¡¯t deserve to continue.


    [ Fated To Perish wretchedly.]


    There was always a number recording the amount of lives I¡¯ve died now.


    It just I don¡¯t really trust the number I saw there.


    [ Past lives: 008]


    Just like how I don¡¯t really remember my abilities.


    I don¡¯t remember the amount of times I¡¯ve exactly died till now.


    [ A personality construct is fading.]


    I had no desire to transfer.


    [ Personality construct is fading¡­.]


    Often I just kept dying.


    I saw a message glow in the display of the system.


    [ Input new personality construct.]


    I reached out with my non existent hands and touched those words and imagined the name I had said before.


    ¡° Al Cartenon.¡±


    [ Al Cartenon has been created.]


    [ Al can hold numerous personality constructs and transfer between each one.]


    [ These personality constructs will have their own experiences and life in transfers. You develop these personalities during the times you live as them through actions and decision you make in transfers.]


    [ Because you are facing a personality construct fading.]


    [ You have been a new personality construct to live as.]


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    I raised my hand without hesitation.


    I didn¡¯t really think of anything.


    [ A new personality construct has taken control.]


    [ All entities will now regard you in this world, by this name.]


    [ Al Cartenon.]


    There I saw a someone standing in front of the hunters.


    His face was burned and discolored, but I knew that person was the body that had been faded.


    It was waiting inside the dungeon.


    In front of the hunters covered in my formation.


    It was me and he leaned against the formation looking at those inside looking at those inside.


    [ Do you wish to continue?]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° Mod. What will happen to Al?¡±


    [ Al will experience a temporary form of slumber.]


    [ Al Cartenon will take over transfers in their place.]


    ¡° What is a personality construct?¡±


    [ A personality construct is a limb of what you are. It will respond and live as you desire, but all abilities will not transfer over.]


    ¡° So¡­ It¡¯s just a clone?¡±


    [ A personality construct is your identity known within transfers.]


    [ Each personality construct have their own history, powers, knowledge and number of deaths counted.]


    ¡° What does that mean.¡±


    [ Your current personality construct will reside here in an eternal slumber.]


    [ Until the moment you desire to switch personalities.]


    [ You will live past Al¡¯s experiences and continue living in this world.]


    [ Transfers are unavailable to all personality constructs besides Al.]


    [ Main abilities used by Al can¡¯t be used by other personalities constructs unless through an ability transfer by switching over to Al.]


    ¡° So I will just be starting over with nothing?¡±


    [ Due to circumstance. You will be a substitute Shadow Monarch Vessel because of your past life contract.]


    [ You will become the next Shadow Vessel and be devoured by Ash born, but due to circumstances in this life.]


    [ Ash-born has been faded.]


    ¡° What?¡±


    [ Due to your lost in the contract and the actions the Shadow Monarch took in your last moments of life. During your interactions with the hunters and the Architect.]


    [ ~+~ personally sought to fade Ash born The Shadow Monarch in this world.]


    ¡° If you did that¡ª-¡± Then what happens to the Shadow Monarch this time?


    Jin-woo would go on to receive his powers¡­


    [¡ªBut Siphon hunted and Absorbed All Of The Shadow Monarch into your modification system.]


    [ All abilities can now be registered into The E Rank Support System and accessed by all personality constructs.]


    I looked at the person in that place. In that dungeon instead of thinking over how fucked the events I read were.


    ¡° Mod. Is that person me?¡±


    [ The body is not you, but you infested it before it was killed by a statue in the original timeline.]


    [ Due to it¡¯s extreme desire to live on. A forbidden magic was attempted but failed. ~+~ found a disposable body that accepted your personality construct and tailored it to fit transfers within this world.]


    ¡° Does he have a family?¡±


    [¡­]


    [ There are entities waiting for him outside this dungeon.]


    ¡°...¡±


    [ Do you feel that you could have lived out your life differently knowing this?]


    [ Dear Administrator.]


    [ You have seen the world through transfers.]


    [ But you have never lived long enough to see the impact or alterations your actions have done in those worlds.]


    [ A disposable body for your transfer may have a past, but the moment you transfer that history blurs.]


    [ Administrator.]


    [ Do you wish to transfer?]


    [ In Another Life?]


    ¡°¡­¡± I stared at my body.


    The way he stood in front of the formation not controlled by me.


    How he cried in front of the formation.


    Something inside of me gave in to the idea of not transferring and just leave him to himself.


    I didn¡¯t think of what would happen if I were no longer there anymore.


    It seemed that the moment I was no longer in control.


    The original owner will return when I had gone.


    Living was a curse to me, but from the words I saw on the notification the original owner of the body cried with joy.


    [ An existence has offered all of his mana to send a message to personality construct Al.]


    I stood there staring at the notification that revealed a short message.


    [ Thank you.]


    In a single moment message faded and I saw him suffering from something.


    [ Due to insufficient mana. An existence will die.]


    When I touched the option to transfer.


    I found myself kneeling in front of the formation with this indescribable pain of something ripping open from the inside of my chest.


    [ In this transfer. The Architect experienced a fading and you named yourself Al Cartenon.]


    [ Your body faced a direct fading.]


    [ The owner of the body woke up to an event where a large battle had taken place and all his tormentors were gone.]


    [ Due to the fading. Only Al felt the physical sensation of being faded from this reality. The original body had not been harmed. A disposable body was destroyed in place of it.]


    [ To thank the personality construct. The owner resorted to sacrificing their life to send a single message, since they could not reach you through other means, but death.]


    [ This body will soon die.]


    [ In the last moments of the originals body life.]


    [ He smiled seeing all of his hunting party protected by this miracle.]


    [ He smiled seeing many other escape.]


    [ They were satisfied with Al actions.]


    I clasped my hands together and kneel down and prayed in front of the hunters within.


    I didn¡¯t think of god. I thought of what this body had done.


    To give up their whole life to leave behind two words.


    Although I did not have much emotions.


    I prayed for them.


    ¡° Mod can you explain to me the circumstance involving this body?¡±


    [ Al Cartenon. Occupation. Vice captain for a newly established guild called The Hunting Party.]


    [ Due to financial circumstance between his life as a student and the guild. He had entered this dungeon with the Leader Of The Hunting party and her butler. All three were killed by the Architects plot to find a perfect vessel for The Shadow Monarch, Ashborn.]


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° What was the ranks for the Leader and Butler?¡±


    [ Each one of them were registered as E Rank Hunters who could not develop under the extreme conditions of debt and inability to finance their self-proclaimed guild.]


    [ They had formed The Hunting Party in hopes of living a better life for themselves, but also their families.]


    I¡¯ve been thinking a lot about myself.


    And I¡¯ve decided to be happy.


    ¡° Mod. Go through the process for an ability transfer.¡±


    [ Which ability from Al do you wish to transfer over to current personality construct?]


    ¡° Alter Reality.¡±


    [ Alter Reality has been transferred over to Al Carternon.]


    ~+~


    [ Welcome To Solo Leveling]


    [ This is your modification system]


    [ ] Al Cartenon.


    [BAL: -000]


    [Rank: E]


    [Abilities (+)]


    [ Alter Reality.]


    I stood over the hunters when I felt pressure attacking inside my chest.


    I had a new name now.


    I had to be different from those people who I was before.


    A new man.


    ¡° From now on everyone of you will be my slave.¡±


    ¡° Your names. Your faces I won¡¯t remember, but you will know it from your hearts that I own your body, your freedom and your mind.¡±


    ¡° You will do everything I say even if it were to go against your conscience.¡±


    ¡° You will respond without hesitation.¡±


    ¡° You will live how I want you to.¡±


    ¡° In exchange for belonging to me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° Use me.¡±


    ¡° Love me.¡±


    ¡° Show me affection.¡±


    ¡° I¡¯ll smother you with great rewards.¡±


    I raised my hand and felt something inside me begin to rot as I thought of what immortality would appear like.


    [ Your inside has¡ª¡ª]


    I didn¡¯t need the system notifications anymore.


    I was a different person now.


    A serum that granted immortality was enough to fulfill my desire, but it just wasn¡¯t enough.


    An immortality where the body will automatically learn to mend and resurrect and evolve each time we experience death was perfect.


    This was my gift for them.


    Immortal Serum: A serum that grants an entity the lowest level of immortality. Each death will increase the immortal effect.


    A white serum sitting inside of a syringe with a needle at the tip of it.


    I walked up to one of them and tore a hole into their skin watching part of the liquid flow straight into them.


    Then I walked to another and then another.


    It was decaying terribly inside, but I couldn¡¯t stop.


    Inject every body and do it right.


    Physically it will hurt, but it won¡¯t be too much yet.


    It was only a small alarm going off detaching me from what I should really feel.


    This serum digging into another person.


    Function and live till my body stops moving.


    The rotting fed on my insides again.


    My skin started to turn into this purple lump and tear open seconds after.


    Inside of me was all mushy and my hips and joints were just swaying.


    All my blood was black now.


    Black liquid.


    I turned away from walking, because I didn¡¯t like the look of my knees swaying on their own.


    I cuddled against the stomach of a hunter injected by my serum and used the stomach as my pillow.


    While the rest of everything in me changed.


    I could smell the stench of decay from my own breath and my body just¡­ dieing, but that was all fine.


    There was still a few injections left inside of the syringe.


    I could feed it to more slaves.


    But I dropped the needle in front of my eye and left it there sinking down.


    I couldn¡¯t feel it.


    All I saw was something running across my left eye and stared straight to the roof of the dungeon.


    This dark ceiling.


    I held onto the hand of my pillow and spoke on my own.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡° I hate crowds.¡± They make me self centered.


    ¡° I hate the outside.¡± Something always goes wrong.


    ¡° I hate people I don¡¯t know.¡± I¡¯m far too territorial.


    ¡° But worst of all.¡±


    ¡° No matter how many transfers I see or what I have to go through.¡± I know. I won¡¯t change.


    ¡° Things will always take on a repeat.¡±


    Maybe this would be different this time?


    Immortality.


    What kind of life would it look like?


    [ You have died.]


    [ You have gained a Black Soul.]


    [ Immortal effect has activated.]


    [ You have gained Lesser Immortality.]


    [ Body is in the process of reconstruction.]


    [ Modification system has been updated.]


    ~+~


    [ Welcome To Solo Leveling]


    [ This is your modification system]


    [ ] Al Cartenon.


    [Immortal: Lesser Immortality.]


    [Black Soul:01]


    [BAL: -000]


    [Rank: E]


    [Abilities (+)]


    [ Alter Reality.]