《Bonded by Blood》


 O N E

    Today I''ve finally decided to kill myself.


    It''s always been a thought in my mind, but I''d relinquish the idea whenever it would come up. My longing to just simply fade into nothingness always coalesced with the wavering thoughts that maybe I was just being crazy, dramatic, or ungrateful for my life, even.


    I''ve heard several opinions on suicide. The most notable ones always came from those who couldn''t really relate, as well as those who were simply too busy to be inconvenienced by such a thing.


    When describing people with such thoughts, I often hear the word selfish being used. No one seems to be able to fathom how someone would just willingly miss out on their future, their loved ones, and what they have to offer.


    What word would you use for someone like me who doesn''t have any of those things?


    The word can''t be selfish because even if I had those things to begin with, wouldn''t it also be selfish to say one''s own desire to keep me around outweighs my misery?


    Maybe the word for me could simply just be determined, because for once, I''m finally determined to take control of my life. A life that felt utterly meaningless. Happiness and peace seemed like elusive dreams, always just out of reach. There was nothing but unbridled cruelty that enveloped my existence. Each day felt like a relentless struggle. Shadows of darkness clouded every glimmer of hope, sorrow weighed down on my heart, and the once vibrant colors of life had faded into bleak shades of gray, and the world around me seemed to echo my desolation. I always hoped to gain the ability to simply numb myself-to distance myself from feeling any sort of emotion, but it was impossible. In the depths of my anguish, I couldn''t help but feel. I felt all the pain, sadness, and hopelessness. It had become unbearable, and the darkness had consumed every inch of my being. I found myself at a crossroads, where the only escape that seemed feasible was to simply end it all.


    The decision wasn''t so tainted by obscurity when I was watching my favorite television show earlier, but now it''s much clearer. My father had just gotten home from his trip to the bar, stumbling through the front door at his usually drunken state as he slurred out words that were made easy to decipher due to it''s contents already being embedded in my mind for all these years.


    He was going on about how much he missed his wife and how much I was at fault for her loss and how it should''ve been me that got lost to the crash. His words were paired with the usual kicks, jabs, uppercuts and smacks made all over my face and body. All of it was enough to leave scars, bruising and dark crimson splotches on my tender skin.


    I''ve found that the tactic of curling up in a fetal position and closing my eyes to the faint memory of how my life used to be, slightly eased the pain.


    When mother was still here.


    When father didn''t blame me.


    When life was bearable.


    Reminiscing about the love and joy I used to feel, as well as the need to stay strong for my mother, has been the only thing keeping me going all this time. And now that it''s all slowly fading away, the timing to fulfill my plans couldn''t have been any better.


    I''m tired.


    I''ve had enough.


    To prove this, I swallowed down a bunch of antidepressants and aimlessly sprinted out of the house as fast as I could. I let out uncontrollable moans in response to the excruciating pain emitted by my aching joints. I slowed down once I was enveloped by the deep evergreen forest. The dew on the grass flew up to my legs as the hammering sound of my heartbeat intertwined with the lightning in the darkened sky.


    I ignored the brittle snaps and crackle of the fallen branches beneath me as tears cascaded down my flushed cheeks. It didn''t take long for my entire body to become drenched from the rain as my adrenaline somewhat minimized the pain I was feeling due to what happened earlier with my father.


    I ventured passed the tall dark trees and merciless winds until I reached a familiar clearing. I inhaled deeply while brushing a hand past my thick, wet, golden curls, moving it aside from the blurred vision I had of the edge of the cliff.


    My heart continued to pound as my legs unsteadily wobbled towards the edge where I was bestowed the view of the thick laps of water hitting against the large jagged rocks down below.


    This is it.


    I''m gonna jump.


    I spent my final moments on Earth practicing a grounding technique I had learned from my counselor a long time ago. It was to help aid me whenever I''d become way too overwhelmed with high levels of anxiety, frustration, and guilt; guilt for my mother''s death when it could''ve been me. It should''ve been me.


    Name three things you can feel, Leone.


    The hard rain patting against my flushed skin, my pain and exhaustion further setting in, a mixture of emotions that were all too hard to decipher.


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    Name three things you can smell.


    Fresh damp pine and cedar, a faint breeze of sea salt coming from the vast stretch of merciless water down below.


    Name three things you can see.


    Another booming thunder storm in the distance, my feet positioning itself towards the plunge, a few rocks breaking off the edge to remind me just how high my fall was going to be.


    It was high enough that the impact from the fall would immediately kill me. I didn''t exactly revel in either comfort or fear as the only thought I had on my mind was how worth it was all going to be.


    Right?


    After a brief moment of coming into terms with what was about to happen, I eventually closed my tearful eyes shut and finally threw myself off the cliff.


    To my surprise, the fall was cut short due to my hoodie suddenly being hitched upwards from the fall. I widened my eyes in terror and let out a fearful yelp once I looked down at the great height that ended with thick laps of water smashing against the rocks below.


    "What the-" I began to thrash my body around to see if I had gotten my hoodie caught onto a branch or something, but I didn''t, instead it was a hand holding my entire weight up with unexplainable strength. "Hey, who are-let me go!" My voice cracked out.


    The grip tightens to effortlessly pull me back off the cliff in one swift motion. My entire body crashed a few feet away from the edge as I wildly spun against the wet dirt and jagged ground.


    I disappeared right into a coughing fit to regain my breath and composure, eventually turning back around to face the mysterious interceptor to my demise.


    "Hey, what the hell!" I quickly wiped my hands over my face and squinted as the figure began to approach me. "Who are you!?"


    Thunder struck in the distance, momentarily flashing a bright white light that was tinged with a burning shade of blue upon the shadowy silhouette.


    I got to see him for only a split second.


    He was tall.


    Very tall.


    "Stay back!" I unconsciously yelled out at the figure the second he began to walk towards me. "I-I said stay back!"


    He didn''t bother listening to my command as he eventually stops right before me, hovering his face right over mine. I finally catch a glimpse of his face in it''s entirety. He had warm tan skin and bold hazel eyes that were tenderly hugged by his dark bushy brows and incredibly long eyelashes. His chiseled jawline and delicately flushed cheeks blended seamlessly against his dark, medium length hair that curtained the sides of his head in a sleek prince-like manner.


    Dydan Demecrio.


    I didn''t know wether to revel in fear or absolute joy at the sight of him.


    Him and his family had just moved into the house right beside mine and they differed greatly from the previous owners that moved out for retirement a few months ago. The previous owners were a lovely couple that''s been married for forty-three years and I guess you could say I missed them in their absence.


    The wife was bubbly and would often gift me cookies she''d bake while the husband was way more reserved and had a special talent for landscaping. I missed seeing their love withstand the test of time as they spent mornings and noons either sitting right across from each other on their porch or playing with their Welsh Corgi who really loved belly rubs.


    Unlike the married couple, there were no cookies or stubby tailless dogs coming out of the Demecrio household. The Demecrio''s were quiet, they kept to themselves and minded their own business like a unit of incredibly intimidating enigmas, except for Dydan. I would often see him riding his skateboard in his backyard as he''d occasionally look back at me drawing by my window. Except for a few moments of meaningless eye contact that was broken shortly after, Dydan and I have never really had an actual conversation before.


    My thoughts eventually gets cut off the moment Dydan leans over me with a gaze filled with such unexpected warmth and empathy. Our faces closely aligned; close enough to make it feel as though everything in the world had stopped except for the hot, burning blood coursing all throughout my body.


    What is this feeling?


    Why do I-why do I feel like this?


    I''ve never had anyone look at me the way he has before and I hated it.


    I hated the way it''s made me feel.


    I hated him!


    What really set me off was when he proceeded to extend his hand out to help me up.


    I winced and met his hand with a swing. "What is wrong with you!" I got myself up and exclaimed, pushing him further away from me. "I-I already jumped and you-and you stopped it!" Dydan''s brows furrowed down at me like a hurt and confused puppy as I was too mad to even let him speak. "Why!?"


    He remained silent as I watched his eyes proceed to frantically shake out of unbridled confusion. I didn''t waste anymore time processing the impending guilt at my attitude towards him. I let out a scoff before walking right pass him to return to the edge of the cliff.


    My breath immediately hitched the moment I felt a tight grip around my trembling wrist. "What are you-let me go!"


    He looked down at me as his hair was long enough to cover pass his fiery amber eyes, stopping just right above his glistening lips that were tinted a shade of crimson.


    "I said let me go!" His silence only further intensified my anguish. "Stop it!" I attempted to pull my arm back as if he didn''t totally surpass me in height, strength, and overall muscle mass.


    The continuous view and feeling of his persistence to save me eventually breaks me apart in uncontrollable tears. I know I should take what Dydan just did as some type of rare act of kindness-showering him with endless gratitude-as he just offered me a second chance to face life with a new perspective, but that wasn''t the case.


    He doesn''t know me and he never will.


    If he wanted to show me mercy he''d just let me kill myself.


    "Why can''t you just let me go?" My voice shattered as my vision blurred, turning into a puddle of tears. "Let me go. Let me go. Let me go." I repeatedly let out in a soft, broken whisper, repeating those words until my voice had completely lowered into silence.


    His grip on my wrist was followed up with a firm pull that eventually causes my head to collide against his stomach, his other hand gently skimming the back of my head in a calming gesture.


    The sequences that followed shortly after slowly began to fade off into a blur. I could''ve retaliated against his soft warm skin crashing against mine, but I couldn''t.


    I was powerless to his embrace as everything in my body including my mind had faded off into a dark endless abyss.

 T W O

    This is not good.


    I watched as the boy in my arms began to drift in-and-out of his consciousness, losing to the slumber I put him in using my newfangled ability to control''s someones blood.


    The process was quick, needing nothing else but pure focus as the only tedious part of it were the repercussions that would follow right after. My parents called it Blood Bonding and though it''s mostly intended for feeding, I figured I had no other choice but to use it in order to stop him from jumping off the cliff.


    To the boy''s defense, I technically came to the cliff to do the same exact thing but not for reasons that him or any other person in this world would understand.


    I didn''t come here to die.


    I can''t die.


    I''ve tried that before.


    I was born into a family with fangs sharper than steel daggers and strong resurgent bodies with heightened strength, speed, agility and endurance; all of which can only be fueled by blood that''s obtained by my mom who works as an intensive care physician at a local hospital.


    Both of my parents decided that in order to keep me and my younger sister safe, it was best to keep us in isolation. They made us undergo alternative ways of living compared to the other kids in our age and made sure to instill strict rules for us to follow for the rest of our lives.


    Never, ever, leave the house.


    I leave the house all the time! I used to go out into the woods and chase deers but that quickly got boring because I''d always be too fast for them. I kinda just climb trees now to watch the view or the sunset, occasionally lighting up a cigar that I''d steal from my dad''s office since It''s not like my lungs would ever become prone to any damage.


    Enrich your discipline instead of your curiosity.


    I hated this rule the most because it lacked the most forethought. How could they expect me to enrich my discipline forever? I''ve only been cooped up for seventeen years of my life and I''ve already started feeding into my curiosity by doing things such as using my body as a test dummy. I''ve done things to test the limits of my capabilities such as catching up to trains, lifting up cars, and surviving falls from extremely high places which was supposed to include this cliff.


    Never make contact with anyone else besides your family.


    As I stand here gazing down at the boy I had just formed a Blood Bond with, all these rules are practically nonexistent to me now.


    Upon cradling his tiny body with my arms, the moonlight didn''t fail to highlight the contours of his cherub-like face. He had thick curly hair that was spun in an unceremoniously beautiful way, closely resembling the color of a sweet golden honeycomb. His soft skin was like powdered pearl as it blended seamlessly with his small yet captivating features. He had a tiny nose, the type that looked fun to poke and admire, along with his flushed round cheeks and delicately chiseled jawline. Although his eyes were now closed shut due to the deep slumber I put him in, I can still remember the luminous glinting shade of jade and sapphire that they possessed.


    Damn, he''s kinda cute.


    Actually scratch that, he is cute.


    He smells good too.


    He smells really, really fucking good.


    Forming a Blood Bond had one major set back due its tight connection to feeding and turning. It throws you under a bloodthirsty haze where you lose all control and you end up with the strong unbearable urge to drink blood-the blood of whom who you''ve bonded with. The only way to proceed with a Blood Bond is by choosing to either break it by eating the victim or to solidify it by turning the victim with a bite.


    I obviously wasn''t going to do either of those things because, for one, eating someone sounds really gross and traumatic, and two, turning someone with a bite is only meant for couples that are deeply in love, like my parents.


    The thing is, if I choose to simply not do anything about the Blood Bond, then the haze that comes with it will never stop coming in unexpected waves. It''ll only be a matter of time until the excruciating aches and painful deterioration take over both my body and mind, weakening it until I succumb to a vegetative state where I''ll be alive without actually being alive.


    Damn.


    What have I done?


    The effects of the haze crawled all throughout my body like a venomous snake. I winced and let out a hearty groan the moment my fangs began to uncontrollably elongate themselves up to the bleak dark sky. I could feel myself delving further into a bloodthirsty state of mind, and it''s nothing like I''ve ever felt before. My muscles tightened and twitched as my entire body began to ripple with painful aches.


    "Fuck." My need for blood intercepted each and every single one of my senses, causing me to let out a groan in response the boy''s intoxicatingly addictive smell.


    All I wanted to do was ravage him.


    I need to stop.


    I need to stop this immediately.


    In an effort to fight pass the haze, I eventually dropped down on one knee to do a series of deep inhales and exhales. After doing this a couple of times, I eventually tilted my head to the side and returned my focus to what needed to be done.


    I got back up with the boy on my back and proceeded to zoom away from the cliff to head back into the forest. My body was emanating enough adrenaline to withstand the cold rigid atmosphere that was filled with nothing but rain and turmoil.


    Thankfully we lived right next to each other, making it incredibly easy to navigate our homes which we reached in a matter of seconds. My chest hollowed out as I frantically looked up at his room''s window which stood right across from mine.


    I followed the view of the thick immeasurable vines latching onto the wall that lead up to the boy''s window. I backed away to gain some momentum before sprinting forward with enough force to carry the both of us up into his room.


    As if I hadn''t already invaded his privacy enough, I went along and spared a glance at the countless gorgeous drawings sprawled all over his desk as well as the band posters that were quite similar in taste with mine. I gently laid him down on his bed where I got a view of his bedside table that contained a pill bottle that was in complete disarray.


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    Poor dude, it''s probably been one hell of a day for him.


    I quickly prepared to leave in fear of my uncontrollable urge returning once more. I suddenly froze by the window for just a moment as I couldn''t help but take one final look at the first and only person I''d probably ever come in contact with in my life.


    I eventually climb out of the window to break the distance of our rooms with one effortless leap.


    My feet drops along with my heart the second I see my younger sister Ikaris standing right before me with her arms crossed.


    Fuck.


    "What were you doing just now?" She asks in her usually cold monotoned voice.


    "Admiring the rain." I responded quickly in a wary tone.


    She raises a brow. "Admiring the rain?" She repeats my words, clearly unconvinced with my response.


    "Look just-Ikaris now is not the time, alright!?" I frantically let out as I rapidly took off my shirt and threw it in the corner of my room, in hopes that the scent of the boy would quit lingering around me.


    "So when is the time?" She presses further with a glare, her head keenly watching me nervously pace back and forth in my room. "When people find out about you-about us and what we are?"


    "Ikaris-" She quickly interrupts me before speaking.


    "What were you doing outside?" She repeats in a terrifyingly calm tone.


    "I was at the cliff!" I frantically exclaimed as the scent of that boy failed to leave my senses, deterring my mind off from focusing on anything else but him.


    "At this hour?" She continued on with her interrogation as I closed my eyes shut at the returning feeling of the haze. "Have you forgotten the rules? Must I remind them to you?"


    "Listen to me!" I roared out of nowhere which made her face slightly drop at the rare unforeseeable state I was in. "I need you to go downstairs and get me a pouch of blood from the fridge."


    "What?" She immediately was enveloped in a sudden state of confusion.


    "Right now." I say lowly, practically pleasing.


    "But haven''t you already gotten your fill this morning?" Ikaris really began to get in my nerves now. "You can''t have three pouches in one day, you know how limited our rations are."


    "Ikaris please-just do it! We don''t have much time!" My voice breaks the second I begin to feel the haze return. "Please!" I begged while landing my hands on her shoulders.


    She doesn''t hesitate to rapidly smack my hands away with a twitching nose. "Why do you smell like that?" Her eyes suddenly widen in realization. "Wait-"


    "Please."


    "Did you-" Her voice abruptly fades as she couldn''t seem to finish her words out of growing fear and disbelief.


    My head tilts at her in groveling silence, eventually dropping my gaze down to the floor with a clenched jaw before speaking out once more. "I''ll explain everything later, but right now you have to help me Ikaris! If I get the pouch myself I''ll leave a scent trail and mom and dad will know!"


    Her shock renders her a few distances away from me just until her back hit against the wall, momentarily assessing what I had done before breaking apart the silence. "What did you do?"


    "Ikaris please!" My face clenched as I unconsciously thrashed my head to the side. "I need blood now!" I roared yet again, causing my voice to bounce all throughout my room.


    Ikaris shakily exhales at my bloodthirsty state before rushing downstairs and returning shortly after with a pouch of blood.


    I quickly take it from her hands with a look of desperate gratitude. "Thank you! I''ll make it up to you, I swear."


    "Just shut up and drink." She harshly commands while rolling her eyes back in clear annoyance.


    I didn''t waste any time beginning to gulp down the pouch as the act was so pleasurable that it was enough to drown out everything else around me.


    Ikaris knew the severe implications of being in a Blood Bond. Though she never felt it herself, our parents made sure to raise us with utmost transparency that ended up making us quite different from each other. She grew up fearing the risks of human contact while I grew up intrigued by it, so much to the point that I am now here standing right in-front her with blood dripping down from my mouth and to my bare chest.


    I retracted the pouch away from my mouth a few moments later as relief began to set in. The haze eventually subsides along with the unbearable tension built up all over my body.


    I sat myself down on my bed as Ikaris eventually walks forward and does the same. "So are you gonna tell me what happened?"


    "There was a boy." I reluctantly let out, finally meeting her gaze as she waited for me to continue. "He was gonna jump so I controlled his blood to make him pass out."


    "You formed a Blood Bond with someone!?" Ikaris looked undoubtedly pissed off now. "Where''s the boy now?" She asks quickly.


    "Asleep in his room." I slowly bring my attention over to my window. "He lives right next to us."


    She stays silent and follows my gaze. "Are you sure he''s asleep?"


    "Yea." We slowly turn our heads towards each other and I nod.


    Ikaris lets out a deep sigh before getting up to leave. "You should''ve just let nature takes its course."


    My mouth drops as I stared up at her in disbelief. "What is wrong with you?"


    "What is wrong with me!?" She scoffs. "I''m not the one that''s constantly putting this family in danger for my own selfish reasons, Dydan." Her lack of empathy surprised me.


    I clenched my jaw before sharply responding through my teeth. "What selfish reason!? He was gonna jump to his death!"


    "You shouldn''t have intervened-we never intervene! There are consequences if we break rules that we''ve been given and they are severe."


    I rubbed my hands over my face and let out an exasperated noise. "You sound just like mom."


    "Maybe because she''s right." Ikaris throws back.


    "So what are you trying to say? I should''ve just stood there and watched him jump?" I asked. "I''m not like you, I wouldn''t have been able to live with that."


    "What I''m trying to say is that controlling someone''s blood is so much more than just putting them to sleep." She says with a voice that''s enveloped by a subtle wave of angst. "You''re connected with him now and the time will eventually come when you''ll have to choose to either kill him or turn him before it takes a dangerous effect on you, and you and I both know there''s only one right way to deal with it."


    "Look I get it, alright! I''ll deal with it no matter what, just-" I took a deep breath before continuing with a clenched jaw. "Just please don''t tell mom and dad."


    Ikaris remained silence for a short while before breaking it with a complying request. "Do my chores for the rest of the month and I won''t." I couldn''t help but let out a relieved laugh. "And take a shower, you stink." She pompously adds.


    "Deal." I smirk as Ikaris disappears down the hall and enters her own room with a loud slam.


    I returned my gaze at the boy that was sleeping soundly in his room as I couldn''t help but let my mind wander off into a distant memory I obtained when I was a ten year old child.


    I remember I went out to roam around the forest like usual and had to stop once I spotted a small doe that was cornered against a large rigid boulder and a thick mossy log. The doe was cornered by an immeasurably large bear that was going in for the kill, and just before it could''ve ravaged the doe I didn''t hesitate to intervene by fighting it away.


    That was one of the many instances where I had broken the rules instilled by my parents and caused me to suffer a long unwinding lecture from the both of them. They were angry, really angry and yet oddly enough none of their words still registered the way they wanted it too.


    Why must I be a bystander to those who don''t have the strength to protect themselves when I have that strength? I rather face the painful consequences that comes from helping others instead of coming out unscathed with the guilty burden of not doing anything.


    In spite of the fact that we''d never properly met before, it was beyond doubt that everything that happened tonight was a sign of something much bigger than myself.


    This boy was cornered by a bear, and I''m not sure he has any strength left to fight it away.


    I have that strength.

 T H R E E

    "Leone!" I was abruptly awakened by my father''s loud voice coming from downstairs.


    My eyes quickly snapped open as if I had just been doused by a bucket of ice cold water. I immediately jolted up from my bed to blench down at my damp clothes that were weighing heavily over my body.


    What the-what happened last night?


    And why can''t I barely remember anything!?


    My memory was broken into small tiny fragments that were all too hard to piece together. I remember running off into the forest, being at the edge of a cliff, my intentions as to why I even got there in the first place, as well as the most confusing part which was seeing the boy next door!


    I didn''t hesitate to look around my room for just a moment, squinting at my bedside table to see the pill bottle in complete disarray. Tiny tablets were displaced everywhere, some even lying on my paneled floor.


    Could I have just run off into the forest and returned shortly after it began to rain, deciding that maybe I was just too exhausted to change and settled for a sleep that was interrupted shortly after by a deep hallucinogenic nightmare?


    "Leone!" My father roared out yet again. "If you don''t get your ass down here, I''ll come up there and snatch you out of bed myself!"


    I silently cursed to myself as I hastily ran over to my dresser to find some clean clothes to change into. I didn''t grow up with much, so I''ve had to settle for my parents'' hand-me-downs for most of my life.


    I decided on wearing a grey long-sleeve t-shirt that used to belong to my mother. The garment lifted right above my belly button and was fitted just enough for my short and tiny frame. I paired it with thick, oversized cargo pants that my father used to wear for his job as a contractor, offering me a large variety of pockets to store things in.


    After getting dressed, I ran my fingers through my thick golden curls and quickly threw my backpack over my shoulder before rushing downstairs.


    My blood froze at the sight of my father already sitting down at the dining table with tightened fists. "Who do you think you are making me wait for my food!?"


    "I''m sorry! I''m-I''m making it now." My voice couldn''t help but crack and stutter as I quickly rushed into the kitchen to prepare his food.


    "You''re sorry? Apologies don''t make up wasted time, breakfast should''ve already been made a couple hours ago!" He exclaims before disappearing off into a series of harsh words and hurtful lecture.


    I stayed silent as I used my cooking as a distraction. I was starting to get hungry myself so I settled on making eggs and toast.


    My father furrowed his brows down the second I returned to the table with breakfast. "What''s this all about?" He asks as I anxiously sat right next to him with my own plate.


    "B-Breakfast." My voice shattered in fear as his face remained terrifyingly unsatisfied.


    "I know what breakfast is, stop trying to sound smart!" He sharpened his tone before pounding both of his fists down the table. "Now tell me what''s this all about!?" He loudly repeats while gesturing towards my plate.


    My entire body flinched as I closed my eyes shut with a wavering breath. "I-I just thought we could eat breakfast together-" My lips began to quiver in fear as he remained silent for a moment.


    "Are you out of your fucking mind?" His chest begins to rise and fall as he eventually reaches over to my plate, lifting it up into the air just to toss it against the wall. "Answer me!" His yell intertwines with the sound of the shattering plate in the corner.


    My mouth fell but there were no words coming out. My father''s aggressions had always rendered me breathless, freezing me in place as if I was a glacier being formed by the years worth of fear and dubiety.


    "I said answer me!" My father snapped me out of my shock by quickly getting up out of his seat to furiously rush towards me.


    I unconsciously whimpered as I got up as well, his fury causing me to hobble against a corner out of fear of what he was about to do. "I''m sorry!" I cowered down into my usual fetal position as he latched his callused fingers onto my chin and aggressively squeezed.


    "You wake up late, forget my breakfast, and now think you can eat with me!?" He let out a scoff of disbelief. "What have I done wrong to deserve such a worthless son? I should''ve forced your mother to get an abortion when I had the chance!"


    My chest tightened as his cruel words hung in the air, a painful echo of disbelief. Tears began to well up in my eyes as his nails began to dig into my face.


    "Tell me what I always tell you." He aggressively blurts out past my shattered silence.


    "What?" I asked out in a confused and tearful plea.


    "I said tell me the words I always tell you, now!" He raised his voice as father didn''t like to repeat himself.


    A bitter taste of the harsh truth stung sharply against my heart, as the words I was compelled to utter began to drown me. "I''m worthless..." I managed to say.


    "And!?" His voice thundered, echoing around the room, the vibrations making me feel even smaller before his towering presence.


    I swallowed, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. "I''ll...I''ll never amount to anything," I stuttered out. The words clung to my tongue, heavy and sour with regret, my voice hardly more than a shaky whisper.


    "Keep going, don''t stop now you piece of shit!" His command was punctuated by the loud thud of his fist pounding the wall next to me.


    I gasped for breath, my body taut with tension. "N-No one will ever...love me." I added, the words breaking along with my spirit.


    He throws my chin to the side before beginning to kick me in a cadence that matched with his words. "Remember. Your. Fucking. Place!"


    I bursted into a fit of tearful yells as my body began to reverberate with stings and aches. "I''m sorry, please, I''m sorry!" I buried myself further into the fetal position in attempts to substitute the kicks made on my ribs and face for my arms and head.


    He finally stops once the noises in the house were filled with nothing but my uncontrollable whimpers and cries. The hand in my hair was knotted as I knew I would be missing patches of hair after this. I could barely get myself up with my legs as my father casually returned to the dining table to eat as if nothing had ever happened.


    "Clean that mess up before I make your life a living hell." He commands towards the shattered plate.


    I quickly obliged as I could only think about one thing during the process.


    My life is already a living hell.


    The walk to school was tiresome on my legs. The appearance of my left leg was a combination of where tissue had been torn and regrown, embellished with dark crimson lumps starting from my calf and down to my foot as well as scratches that seemed to have never properly faded through time. It was more useful than my right leg however, where my bone had snapped and had left me with a dragging limp that I''ll most likely have for the rest of my life.


    Two years have passed since the crash and my life hasn''t been the same ever since. It happened late at night. My father had just punched my mom in the stomach which had collided her body onto the floor. She fell right before me in a fit of sobs and figured she''d had enough. She didn''t hesitate to snatch me up by the arm and guide the both of us out of the door. Both of my parents were in a fit of rage that were expressed through yells and curses that echoed all throughout the dark foggy neighborhood, filling my mind up with mixed emotions as we got into the car.


    My mother drove away as I watched my father through the side-view mirror. He ran towards the middle of the street with his hands brokenly resting on the top of his head until he eventually vanished in the mist. My mother drove until we eventually entered a four way stop where we were met by a side collision.


    All I remember was feeling the car flip over a few times before throwing all of my senses into a sudden blackout. I woke up finding out that I unfortunately made it instead of my mom. I was left with no mother, a hateful father, horribly mangled legs that took quite some time to heal, and the never ending cycle of twisted nightmares, immense blame, and self-hate.


    I let the classic tunes emitting from my vintage Walkman distract me away from my thoughts. It had been my most prized possession for quite awhile as it''s been the only thing that''s made me feel like my mother was still with me. It used to be hers until she gave it to me along with her collection of quintessential music that perfectly encapsulates her time back in the day.


    The entire morning flew by with a few boring classes and there I was, sitting across from my counselor at her office. Her office was extremely neat and tastefully decorated with pictures of her family as well as motivational posters that made the environment rather inviting. She''d also have relaxing background music that made my silence in response to her questions less awkward.


    I can''t quite pinpoint how long it''s been since the first time I was summoned at her office. I never found out the reason as to why meeting with her became such a usual thing. I think it''s safe to assume that it''s because something was morbidly wrong with me; enough for her or another faculty member at school to notice that I needed someone to talk to or someone to regularly check up on me. Although it heightened my feelings of alienation I learned to like it over time.


    "So Leone how do you feel about the new semester?" She asks with her head down while steadily keeping her eyes at me above the frame of her glasses.


    "It''s okay." I dryly responded with a volume that was audible enough to be heard right over the music. "I guess."


    "I made sure to add some new and exciting classes for you to enjoy; how have you been liking art and theatre production so far?" She asked with a calm and patient tone.


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    "It''s okay." My tone differed immensely from hers as it stayed cold and unyielding. "I get to draw a lot which is-you know, fun."


    "How are things at home?" She does a tiny calming smile. "Have you been able to draw a lot there as well?"


    Home?


    It was hard to answer her question about home since it hasn''t really felt like that in awhile.


    "Not really." I swallowed and cleared my throat.


    "Why is that?"


    "I haven''t really gotten any motivation to draw besides at school lately." I answer truthfully.


    "Would you say that''s a good thing or a bad thing?"


    "Well-" Since everything had been bad for so long, it is difficult to determine whether something was good or not. "I don''t know, all I ever draw are birds and trees and stuff."


    "All of that is quite plentiful where we live." She nods.


    "Yeah, but its getting kinda boring." I say admittedly. "Maybe with my new neighbors that could change but I don''t know-would that be weird?"


    "What would be weird?" She asks curiously.


    "To draw them?" I sniff.


    "No, of course not." Counselor Alina does a tiny head shake. "You''re an artist Leone and although I can barely speak for someone that is as talented as you, I say there should be no boundary between you and your art. You are able to draw whatever you want to your heart''s content."


    "Oh." My eyes shifted down as I began to register her words into my mind.


    "Tell me more about these new neighbors of yours, this is the first time you''ve brought them up." She leans back against her chair while maintaining her nonchalant body language in contrast to her prying questions. "Is there anything about them in particular that could potentially be used as inspiration for your art?"


    My thought vanished me into a long awkward silence, eventually meeting her gaze once I decided to cave in and respond. "Well I had a dream about one of them last night." I choked once I realized I gotten way too honest.


    Although Counselor Alina Gomez remained nice and understanding, I know I couldn''t possibly tell her about the dark details of my twisted dream without having her go and tell my father about it.


    "What was the dream about?"


    I nervously adjusted my body on my seat and scratched my nose. "It was about the boy next door. He''s my age I think. All I remember was seeing his eyes and thinking how pretty they were-how hazel they were. I''ve always wanted to learn how to draw eyes so maybe I''ll use his for inspiration."


    She tenderly smiled at that. "Have you and this boy ever spoken before?"


    "No but I can''t help but see him a lot since our windows directly face each other."


    She nods repeatedly in careful thought. "Well the usual occurrences of having to see each other may have something to do with the dreams."


    "Maybe." I shrugged since I didn''t think about any other explanation to the dream besides the side effects caused by the multiple antidepressants I took last night.


    "Can I ask something of you?" She tilts her head before continuing. "Why don''t you try and speak to the boy?"


    The thought of the action was heavy enough to render my heart to pound. "A-And say what?"


    She purses her lips and looks up in thought. "You could talk about the weather, how he''s liking the town so far, what he does in his spare time-anything really."


    "Why would I do that?" I asked.


    "Because believe it or not, although it can be easy to deter from interacting with other people out of genuine fear, or lack of patience, or loss of effort, something as small and simple as talking about the sun can make you indirectly connect yourself and the other person to that topic." She says with a growing smile. "How to know when a connection is made is when you for example, look up at the sun and along with the action comes with the thought of a person you have spoken to about it."


    "What do you mean?"


    "What I mean is don''t be afraid to make connections. If it happens don''t push people away because believe it or not experiences with other people-" She takes a humorous pause to raise her pointer finger up. "Good or bad, is an experience nonetheless. Experiences makes life worth living."


    "Okay, but like does it have to be him of all people?" I nodded slowly as I knew everything she was saying would stick and linger on my skin for awhile like it usually does.


    "No, but it doesn''t hurt to try." She does a tiny laugh. "And who knows, he may have even dreamt about you as well."


    I kept silent as the thought oddly turned my cheeks into a shade of warm dewy crimson.


    I''d be absolutely delusional to believe anyone could ever dream about me. I was the stuff of bleak nightmares. Surely it was fine to fantasize though, right?


    The day relentlessly persisted until, eventually, reaching a breaking point. Just before I could continue my walk home from school, a familiar group of boys cornered me near the back of the student parking lot; their laughter echoing through the empty space, while all I wanted to do was simply walk home.


    "Limpy!" Eric, one of the boys, sneered while the others snickered in agreement.


    "Did you honestly believe you could avoid us today? Did you think you could just simply go home by taking a different route like a little pussy?" Joshua, another boy, taunted, shoving me hard against the brick wall. "Surely, you must have known that it would never work, right? Besides, how could it when you walk the way you do-Limpy."


    I kept my head down, unable to even look up at any of them as my vision had already begun to blur with tears. "He probably walks like that from all the nasty dick he likes to take up the ass-is that it, huh? Is that it, you fucking faggot!?" Hudson tightly coiled his fingers around my collar, his breath panting against my scrunched-up face.


    "P-Please, I... I just want to go home," I fearfully stammered.


    Hudson quickly brought his arms in a bent, mocking way, purposefully flicking his eyes up as he imitated me. "I-I-P-Please-A-Buh-Buh-shut the fuck up!" And with that, he immediately sent a punch right into my stomach, making me quickly thrash up in a silent scream out of pure agony.


    Hudson let me go to pave the way for Joshua, who suddenly swung his right leg beneath mine, causing me to uncontrollably collide against the hard, rough ground with a cry. "Pathetic, aren''t you even gonna fight back!?" He chuckled, and the rest eventually joined in with him as well. "I mean, it''s practically your fault we''re doing this to you. You make it too easy!" I barely had enough time to process the sharp pain in my stomach and feet as Joshua had already snatched my head up with my hair, sending a resounding blow right against my face-a punch that would surely leave an awful mark.


    "Help! Somebody!" I tasted blood and called out for help as the third boy, Eric, came over to take his turn with me, mercilessly stomping on my leg that had already hurt the most. "Agh! Argh! Please-it hurts! It hurts!"


    Feeling trapped and outnumbered, panic surged through me as they eventually picked me up, rushing to haul me towards a janitor''s closet. The door creaked open, and before I could react, they tossed me inside with enough force to make me stumble right onto the floor. They slammed the door shut with a lock, walking away with humored whispers and devilish chuckles.


    The darkness only emphasized the pain that enveloped me, and the silence was deafening. I felt a mixture of emotions overwhelm my senses. In that confined space, I questioned my worth, as usual, wondering what I had done to deserve such cruelty. I knew I would face even much more cruelty once I got home since my father didn''t like having his dinner prepared late. It usually already takes a while to walk back home due to my dragging limp, but now I have to deal with having to walk home with the reverberating pain in my body.


    I desperately looked out from the room and began to cry out. "Hello? Can anyone help me? Hello!? Please let me out of here! Please help me!" But there was no response.


    After several failed attempts, I slouched against a wall of the janitor''s closet and took the time I had to rest. It wasn''t often I got the chance to sit back and relax in a place where it was quiet. Though I was locked behind the closet, I was given that little time to be spared from any cruel words, harsh beating, and formidable screaming.


    Moments had passed, enough to feel like an eternity, before the janitor finally finds me and opens the door. "Hello? Is anyone in here?" The man called out, concern evident in his voice.


    "Y-yes, p-please let me out!" I stammered, emerging from the closet with tears in my eyes.


    "What happened, son?" He asked gently, noticing the distress written all over my face.


    I didn''t have enough time to respond as I quickly gathered up my belongings and rushed out of there.


    As I trudged my hurried walk along the new path to get back home, the skies darkened, and raindrops began to fall, adding yet another layer of discomfort to my already battered and bruised state. The cold rain mingled with the tears on my cheeks, and I felt utterly vulnerable. My soaked clothes clung to my skin as with each step, my injured legs sent waves of pain to shoot through my body, intensifying the agony of the beating I had just endured. Every movement felt like a cruel reminder of the boys'' merciless assault. The world around me blurred as raindrops splattered against my face, and the pain from my injured legs seemed to intensify in the chilling wetness. My legs wobbled beneath me, threatening to give way, but I pushed myself onward. The physical pain intertwined with the emotional turmoil within me as I knew my father''s wrath awaited me at home.


    Finally, I arrive at our small, rundown house, and as I step inside, the smell of alcohol immediately hits me. My father is already drunk and in a foul mood. "Argh-you little-Leone! Get your worthless ass right over here!"


    My fists tightened, forming knots that gripped onto the fabric of my soaked clothes as I fearfully hobbled over to him. "Y-Yes-" I momentarily coughed to clear my stuffed throat. "Yes father?"


    "Why are uhm-you late again, huh!?" He slurred, his words cutting through me like unpredictable knives.


    "I-It wasn''t on purpose." I say feebly, trying to keep my voice steady. "I tried to find a new route to get home, but those boys... T-They enjoy hurting my body."


    The sound of a glass bottle being shattered immediately resounded, abruptly panicking my senses as father rushed towards me. "You useless piece of shit!" He shouts, his anger escalating with each passing moment as he held onto the top part of the bottle, pointing the jagged edges directly against my throat. "You''re just like your mother, a liar!"


    "I''m not lying!" I frantically cried out once more as the sharp edge of the bottle glistened in the light, reflecting my horrified expression back at me.


    His alcohol-ridden breath panned right over my face, his eyes observing my genuine fear as if he was entertained by it. "You better not because when you breathe, it''s because I give you air. When you wake up in the morning, it''s because I''ve yet to take your life¡ªI give you life, you understand me?" I shakily nod, whimpering as the edge began to slowly press against my neck. "It is with my blessing that you''re even standing here like the goddamn sissy that you are! You come home late one more time, and I''ll beat you till your dead, understood?"


    "Yes father." And with that, he eventually retracts the sharp razor edge from my throat, letting me quickly retreat to the kitchen in a fit of fearful sobs.


    I was hoping to appease him by preparing a good hearty dinner. Although my entire body felt like it was giving up, I still managed to cook him a recipe my mother had taught me, which was a rich tomato soup. The pain throbbing in my legs caused me to wobble as I set the plate before him.


    He glares at the food with disdain as I stand in the corner with my hands behind my back. "This is what you call a meal? I don''t want this garbage! Where''s the meat!?" He yells out and I flinch every time.


    My heart immediately began to pound out of fear once more. "I''m sorry father, would you like for me to cook you something else?" I suggest faintly, my voice barely above a whisper.


    His fists clenched tightly as he remained terrifyingly silent for just a moment, his chest beginning to rise and fall with palpable fury. Suddenly, he rushed over to me and gripped my bruised arm, causing me to let out an uncontrollable yell as he opened the door to the backyard and tossed me out into the pouring rain. "You wanna act tough by not following the rules of this house!? Then you-mmph-then you get thrown out of it, you goddamn faggot!" He slurred, rapidly slamming the door shut before I could even try and desperately come back inside.


    "No! N-No! No! Please! I''m sorry-I''ll cook something else-I''ll do anything you want, please father!" I sobbed and yelled throughout the perilous rain emitting all around me. "Please let me back inside! I''m sorry!" My heart fell as he locked the door and carelessly turned his back on me.


    Booming thunder struck from above as I had no other choice but to act fast, rushing right through the rain to retreat towards the dusty garage out in the backyard. As if shackled by chains, I let myself fall lifelessly onto the cold damp ground, my aching body shivering in my own puddle of salty tears and merciless rainfall.


    In the darkness, where spiders and rats surely lingered, I brokenly whispered to myself, "I miss you, mother." Within hours of soul-crushing silence as well as a lacking glimmer of hope, I eventually drifted off into a restless slumber.

 F O U R

    I fucking hated being homeschooled.


    An at-home educational program consisting of six mandatory classes taught by a single instructor might appeal to some, but not to me. There was no way to cheat on tests, breaks meant nothing, and I didn''t have anyone to confide in about how lame everything was.


    You think having homework is bad? All the work I do technically counts as homework.


    My instructor was my dad and he works as a professor for a neighboring college. He was responsible for the asynchronous classes, which meant he had more time to curate extremely boring lectures for me and my sister.


    I found myself resting my chin on the palm of my hand as I used the other to fidget with my pencil. "So again, The Halyciane Environmental Toxic Substance Control is done to save what?" My dad asks out loud.


    "Wildlife." Ikaris chirps out.


    "Correct!" Her response manages to pull out a cheer from our dad. "Now the main components that utilize-"


    "School is over." I interrupted with a tone that came out a lot more harsher than intended.


    "Oh, right." He quickly fixed his glasses up at the clock on the wall and let out a tiny laugh in realization. "Well I guess that''s it for today. I''ll see you guys tonight for dinner!" He does a smile and gestures us out of his office.


    I got up immediately while Ikaris stayed back to ask some questions. "Later." I quickly grabbed my skateboard and made my way outside the house.


    My obsession with skateboarding started early when I remembered seeing my dad on a skateboard for the first time. I watched him glide through the air until finally performing a perfectly weighted kick flip that he had executed so effortlessly. At that moment it felt as if he did it just for me, like he knew just how mesmerizing I''d find it, enough for it to have such an everlasting impact on me.


    Ever since then I''ve always wanted to be good at skateboarding myself. There was a priceless feeling of freedom and liberation that came with skateboarding, a feeling that I couldn''t quite get anywhere else.


    I skimmed the wheels against the wide open driveway that connected the backyard to the front yard. This new house was significantly much larger than the last one so I had plenty room to practice a couple tricks.


    The current trick I''m working on is called a laser flip. It involves both of my feet maintaining a very specific place in their position to be able to pop and flip my board up in a unique aerial motion.


    I know how to do it with my fingerboard but it''s so much more cooler to be able to do it on an actual skateboard. Most of the time I''d fail my attempts at doing the trick but my dad tells me that practice makes perfect so never be discouraged.


    I swiftly skated along the corners of our property until finally stopping to kick my board up with a deep inhale. I ran my hands through my hair and prepared my attempt at performing a well done laser flip.


    In one swift motion I quickly propelled myself through the air and jumped, only to end up colliding myself with the hard ground. I hissed at the sudden burning sensation caused by the scrapes on my elbows, knees, and cheek. I took my time to get up, cursing as my skateboard landed and wheeled itself away from me.


    "Embarrassing." Ikaris'' monotoned voice let out from her window.


    "Can you mind your business!?" I hissed as I finally got back up to retrieve my board.


    "Believe me I''ve tried, but the loud unbearable noises coming from your failed attempts to learn a pointless trick can be heard all the way from up here." Ikaris blinked as she looked down at me.


    "Then close your window!" I raised my voice in annoyance.


    "Must I sacrifice my comfort to the outside breeze just so I can let you continue to engage in a non-transferrable skill of making a piece of wood spin in the air?" I remained quiet at her brutal response.


    "Aren''t you exhausted?" I aggressively picked up my board from the ground and glared up at her with a clenched jaw.


    "Of what?"


    "Constantly acting like you''re better than everyone else?" I let out as I made my way into the house.


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    "Not everyone." Her cold tone blended into the air. "Just you."


    I loudly slammed the door in response to her unbreakably large ego and made my way upstairs to my room. I threw my shirt off and quickly headed over to the mirror to observe over the scrapes I had just gotten from outside. I carefully watched the tender redness and welled up blood begin to subside and regenerate at an incredibly fast pace.


    I barely ever get wounds or terrible injuries but when I do it''s always so oddly satisfying to witness the healing process.


    Upon standing before the mirror for a couple more moments, a familiar scent suddenly blew right in from my window to gently greet my twitching nose. It didn''t take long for me to become tantalized by the familiarly intoxicating scent as all of my other senses followed through with undeniable sensitivity.


    It was the boy.


    My eyes widened as I dropped everything to eagerly look out into the window, in hopes to maybe catch a glimpse of him without being caught.


    Time slowed the second I gave him my full attention. My surroundings faded off into tunnel vision that was completely honed in at him. I couldn''t bring myself to stop looking, and I couldn''t exactly figure out the reason why.


    The sun''s glowing rays delicately hugged against the boy''s golden curls like a soft halo, further emphasizing his doe-like eyes that were too big for his heart-shaped face. His full brows were furrowed as he seemed so focused on what he was drawing. If I hadn''t ever heard his voice that night at the cliff, I would''ve probably mistaken him for a girl due to his androgynous features that went so well with his meek and gentle demeanor.


    The boy is beautiful.


    In an instant, he turned to look out the window to meet my eyes, causing my breath to hitch. His gaze was large and complimented by thick blades of lashes. Although they were pinched with small traces of exhaustion, he still had such a rare glint of innocence to them; the type of innocence that needed to be protected at all costs.


    My mouths drops in preparation for a greeting but I couldn''t bring myself to say anything to him due to my crippling nerves getting the best of me.


    I could tell he was nervous at the sight of me as well but he slowly lifted a hand up into the air anyways. It was significantly much smaller than mine, blending seamlessly with his gaunt body as he sent me a small shaky wave.


    The gesture caused my stomach to flutter with stupid little butterflies.


    I quickly raised my hand up to return his wave, only to find out it was already too late since he''s attention had already been taken away by the loud yells that suddenly entered his room.


    "What is this!?" A man exclaims, completely overtaking him in both height and width. "Answer me now Leone!" He continues with fury as he aggressively shook a piece of paper in front the boy''s worn out face.


    The boy was clearly shaken up as his posture became much more feeble and shaky than it already was. "It-It''s an assignment from drawing class." He brokenly replies as his growing nerves and fear had rendered his tiny voice even more fragile.


    The man proceeds to walk closer towards him, towering over him with a look of repugnance. "Why was it on the fridge?" He harshly queried.


    The boy drops his head down and joins his shuddering hands together. "We were told to draw our loved ones so I-I drew a family portrait with you, me, and mother. I thought you''d like it." He was audibly falling apart and it was enough to overwhelm me with emotions. "I thought it would make you happy." He weakly adds.


    The man responds by swinging a thunderous backhand across the boy''s cheek. An unconscious yelp was forced out from the boy as he lifted his hand up against the sting in complete shock.


    A sharp exhale escapes my lungs as the hand I was going to initially wave with had tightened into a fist.


    "What did I tell you about having your drawings around my house?" He says before continuing in a much louder volume. "Answer me!"


    The boy flinches and disappears into an uncontrollable sob. "Y-You don''t wanna see it."


    He leans over towards the boy without a single ounce of mercy on his face. "Only faggots do arts and crafts, tell me Leone, are you a faggot?"


    "N-No." He cried.


    "Louder!" The man quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and began digging his nails into his skin while intensely shaking him for an answer. "Answer me!"


    "No!" He corrected himself through a shattered yelp.


    "You know what this means right!?" His dad let''s out while crumpling up the piece of paper and throwing it to the side.


    "No! Please no-I''m sorry!" He vanished into a fit of desperate yells and cries the second the man picks him up and throws him on top of the bed. "Please father! I beg of you!" His dad didn''t hesitate to begin unbuckling his belt, unsheathing it and turning it over so it ends with the hard silver point.


    I had about enough of what was happening before me so without any forethought I quickly got into position to jump into his window.


    "Don''t do it." Ikaris warns as I turned around to look at her in complete disbelief.


    "He''s hurting him!" I frantically say with a heaving chest. "I have to go help him!"


    "You don''t have to do anything, you don''t know that boy." Her cautious voice intertwined with the distant sounds of the boy''s breathless screams being caused by the endless lashings from the hard buckle. "You only feel protective of him because of the Blood Bond, if you go, who knows what you''ll end up doing if you lose control."


    "Don''t you-don''t you hear him!? He''s hurt!" I exclaimed as I began to feel my heart begin to pound towards the returning uncontrollable in my body. "He''s hurting him!" My voice began to tremble and grow weary as the boy''s spilt blood began to linger in the air, entering my senses.


    "Don''t be stupid Dydan." Ikaris warns as I weakly drop on one knee to regain myself. "What he''s going through isn''t right, but you can''t help him at this state-not right now." She helps me up and brings me over to my bed.


    As much as I hated not being able to do anything, she was still right.


    I have to find a way to get control and help him without ever losing it.

 F I V E

    I couldn''t help but take a whiff of the warm roasted coffee and incense that filled my counselor''s office. "Good morning Mrs. Gomez."


    "Good morning, Leone." She looks up and immediately greets me with a bright smile that didn''t take long to fade once she got a closer look at my face. "Oh no, what happened here?" She asks while using a finger to gesture towards the bridge of my nose.


    "Oh um-" My mind blanked out for an excuse. I looked down to use my curls to shield over the scar my father gave me. "I fell on the walk home a couple days ago."


    Her lips pursed as it seemed hard for her not to succumb into pity. "Aw I''m sorry to hear about that, would you care for a bandaid?" She pulled out two bandaids that had tiny Hello Kitty characters plastered over it.


    "S-Sure, thanks." I reached out and did a tiny smile at them before shoving them inside my backpack.


    "Of course." She nods and leans back against her chair. "So it''s been a week since we''ve last met, how''ve you been?"


    The thought of my father and how he reacted to my drawing last week went across my mind, sending a heavy looming ache to emit in my stomach.


    "I''ve been good." My response came out more as an uncontrollable whimper. "I-I did what you told me."


    Her eyebrows raised. "And what''s that?"


    "I tried talking to the boy."


    She tilts her head and smiles the second she remembers who I was alluding to. "How did it go?"


    "I don''t know, it was kinda awkward to be honest." I steadily looked down at my shoes hovering over the shiny floor. "I don''t think he''s interested in talking to me."


    She furrows her brows down just a little bit. "What makes you say that?"


    I shrugged. "Well we just stared at each other and he had this look on his face."


    "What was his face like?"


    "Handsome." I unconsciously blurted out as my cheeks rapidly burned at how sudden my response was.


    "Handsome?" She repeats in an expressive tone that was enough to fuel my nerves.


    My cheeks quickly flushed red. "Handsome as in-you know, since you asked what his face was like-" I began to go on a nervous ramble that only seemed to make her much more entertained. "What I meant to say is that he has a handsome face but his facial expression was dirty."


    "Dirty." She repeated once more as I just realized how odd that sounded, sending me further into a crippling ball of angst.


    "Dirty as in like a dirty look at me-like he looked at me like he thought I was weird, you know?" I sank down at my seat with a lowered voice. "I''m sorry if I''m not making any sense."


    "It''s alright Leone, I know what you meant." She does a small tiny laugh at my ramble as if I was some adorable puppy that was able to walk on it''s hind feet. "Now besides a dirty look, where there any other clear markers of him being closed off towards you?"


    I licked over my lips and deeply sighed. "Well I waved and he kinda ignored me-but then-" It''s not like I would''ve known if he did anyways since my father had already stormed into my room. "I got distracted so I don''t know for sure."


    "Why don''t you try waving again?"


    I widened my eyes and stared at her as if she had just said the craziest thing I''ve ever heard. "Again?"


    "Yes, again." She nods. "To make sure."


    "But I don''t want him to think he has a weird neighbor or something." I answer truthfully. "What if he just ignores me?"


    "Then you simply move on." She smiles as she glanced down at her wedding ring. "Weirdness is a good thing and it''s what makes all of us unique. If they can''t handle that part of us, then they don''t deserve us a whole, period."


    The rest of the day followed up with a couple more classes until it was finally time to go home.


    I threw on my headphones and succumbed my mind into the music being played by my Walkman. It instantly drowned out the other sounds being emitted by the other students leaving the school premises.


    I ventured further towards the walk home until one house in particular had signaled me to give my right leg a momentary break from the pain of walking. I gave a great deal of admiration to their landscape while I rested. I smelled the plush roses that had grown over my path, carefully observed their daffodils, and wished well to the tiny ladybug that tickled the top of my hand until I softly laughed.


    I later found the peaceful break to be a curse once my head immediately becomes met by an impactful swing. My head is suddenly thrown forward with enough momentum to displace my headphones off, presenting me to the cruel laughter that came from a familiar group of boys behind me.


    "Hey, Limpy." Eric snorts the second I meekly look up to return his bright blue gaze. "Where have you been?


    "Yea, where have you been?" Hudson whispers into my ear and I quickly flinch away to the side with a fearful wince. "We missed you."


    "He''s probably just been hiding from us like a little pussy." Joshua suggested as he observed over me with a devilish grin.


    I tightened my fingers around my backpack as my joints and muscles grew increasingly tense at the feeling of being surrounded.


    Once again, they were able to track down my route to get home from school.


    All three of these boys were everything I was not. They were rich, terrifyingly tall, and powerful enough to withstand everything their chosen sports had thrown at them. They were notorious for being the most privileged kids in Maybella High and they have always picked on me since the start of high school. They started with trying to get my attention through cruel comments regarding my limp, my clothes, and whatever they thought my sexuality was. As time went on, they became increasingly violent by choosing to hurt me.


    "Hey, I asked you a question!" Eric exclaims before quickly landing his foot right in front of mine, causing my body to abruptly meet against the concrete side walk.


    "Agh-Awgh!" A sharp sting suddenly met my chin. I tried getting back up but a foot had already landed directly on the leg where I limped, driving it in until I screamed in pain. "Stop it! Please leave me alone!" It was the usual, targeting the weakest most vulnerable parts of myself for their own enjoyment.


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    "Oh, so you can speak?" Joshua chuckles as he raises me back up without any regard to the pain emitting down on my legs. "If that''s the case then why are you acting like you can''t, huh?" He shoves me back towards the other two boys, causing them to return the gesture and ultimately meet my body with forceful shoves I couldn''t get out of.


    The exchange continues until my shaky breaths turn into broken desperation. "I-I need to get home."


    Hudson instantly grabs a lock of my hair and snaps my head up to face the sky. "Shut the fuck up."


    "Aw, you need to get home? Too bad we don''t care, Limpy." Joshua huskily adds while clenching my cheeks closely together, digging his fingers so deeply into my skin that it begins to sharply sting.


    "Please." I begged as I watched Eric revel at the two boy''s holding me powerlessly before him.


    Every step that Eric took towards me made my heart pound as he eventually stops to smirk down at my shirt. "You come to school clearly looking for attention with these cute little outfits on and then when you get it you act like a little bitch?" He inhales and exhales sharply. "I don''t get it Leone. Isn''t this what you wanted? To be seen? To be noticed by us?"


    Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched his fingers grasp onto my mother''s shirt, one of the only clothes I owned and had to take care of since I didn''t have much.


    "Please, I just wanna go home." I whimpered as his fingers tightened further, wrinkling the fabric tightly around my waist.


    "You what?" Eric carelessly asks as he raised his other hand up to form a fist.


    "I-I just wanna go home." I brokenly let out with tears streaming down my cheeks.


    In spite of the fact that I was in complete disarray, it seemed to only further fuel their entertainment at the entire situation.


    "He can''t hear you." Hudson deeply whispers into my ear.


    "Say it again." Joshua whispers into the other.


    "I just wanna go h-" My words immediately gets cuts off the second Eric sends a thunderous punch right across my jaw.


    My reality proceeded to break off into multiple visions as the three boys watched me fall back down to the ground. I struggled to get into my usual fetal position as they proceeded to land several heavy punches and brutal kicks onto my body.


    I had gotten used to these three constantly picking on me, but I knew I had to get home because there wasn''t a beating that scared me more than my own father. He had already given me a light warning last time, and I know he wasn''t the type to go against his own word. In one of the instances I had been late in the past, he had beaten me up so badly that I had caught a fever. I had to stay home for weeks, not because of the fever itself, but to let my bruises and scars heal enough to ignore any suspicion that I was hurt.


    After awhile of beating me up to a pulp, the boys finally leave me crumpled on the ground. I was completely wrapped up in my broken sobs that were occasionally interrupted with a series of struggled coughs and hopeless heaving. My entire body pulsed as it had been reduced to bruises and scars.


    Opening my eyes was the most difficult thing I had ever done as I was in so much pain that I felt as though I would simply just pass out. I eventually get up with a groan. I tried my best to soak up all the effects the beating had done to my body as I hopelessly looked around. I immediately felt a sense of relief once I saw my Walkman had been left unharmed.


    I sniffed and brushed off the dirt that stained my shirt and jeans. I turned the volume of my music all the way up in hopes to drown out everything that just happened to me.


    I hated to admit that my right leg had suffered all throughout the walk home. In some odd, and sick twisted way, I sometimes get so insecure about my limp that I often vanish off into a delusional state of mind where I try to convince myself that maybe it''s not that bad.


    Unfortunately, the delusion never grows big enough to help tend to my insecurity, as I am then quickly hit by the cruel reality that it has and always will be, obvious.


    It''s obvious to those boys.


    It''s obvious to everyone.


    It''s obvious to my own father.


    Although I pretend to act like I''m okay, I think the truth is that there are just so many things wrong with me that I couldn''t possibly be ever worthy of love, as well as all the other good things in life.


    I entered the front door with a terrified squint in my eyes. I eventually ventured further in and made the floor creak in response to my steps. The thought of my father appearing out of nowhere was enough to send chills down my spine and my breathing pattern to grow unsteady.


    I walked down the hall that led towards an open space where the living room could be seen from the stairs. I watched as the only light source came from the flashing television screen, casting varying hues of images upon my knocked out father. He had several empty bottles splayed all around the floor, which could only mean that he had probably drunk himself to sleep.


    I didn''t waste any time rushing upstairs to my room with a heavy sigh of relief. I quickly dropped my backpack and walked over to my mirror to take my clothes off. The amount of dark crimson markings and tender splotches that were embellished on my skin was enough to make my eyes well up with tears. Regardless, it''s not like it was anything entirely new, so I just chose to look past it with a warm shower as well as a fresh set of pajamas.


    I plopped myself down on my work table, returning myself to the drawing of the boy I had been working on. I clasped my hand together and met my fingers with the tiny wooden pencil. I skimmed it in various ways against the white piece of paper with a subconscious urge to summon the reoccurring images of him in my head using bold lead and ink.


    I think drawing is the only thing I can proudly say I was good at. It''s the last remaining part of me that no one has been able to take away, yet. It''s the only thing I''ve ever known. I don''t know if my brain is just wired differently but being able to draw images straight out of my brain and watch them come alive was really the only thing that made me feel alive. I didn''t really grow up being the most clever student at school but drawing made me feel that way. Life constantly moved around me and greeted me with ever shifting things that I couldn''t fully comprehend. Whenever the world would feel way too complicated and overwhelming, I would simply just create my own world and all of a sudden everything made sense.


    I leaned forward, skimming my colored pencils further up the table to meet them towards the moonlight and check which ones would perfectly encapsulate the color of Dydan''s memorable eyes.


    I took another piece of white paper and tested a mixture of an emerald green with a rich deep suede. I sighed and carefully examined the final shade I had made, hoping it would honor exactly just how I remembered seeing it in my dream.


    I raised the paper up and pondered the exact fiery amber I saw in my dream. After a few seconds, my lungs immediately empty the moment I looked directly at the sight before me.


    I watched in awe as Dydan Demecrio was also by his window. I watched as he crept his head to the side of the paper I was raising up to make his face visible to me.


    A shy smirk crossed his lips as he ran his hand through his thick raven hair, followed immediately by a wave that was timed as if he didn''t want me to miss it.


    To me?


    Why is he?


    Why is he waving to me?


    With a pounding heart and an empty chest, I nervously waved back and immediately felt my arms weaken and settle on the table.


    His hazel eyes were rich, imbued with such a captivating amount of tinted beauty that no pencil would be able to ever recreate it. My drawing had the outline of his impeccable facial structure and eerily symmetrical features but failed to capture all the other things that truly made him special. He had dimples that added warmth to his kind and gentle smile, thick expressive brows, and the most dreamy demeanor to go along with it all.


    He suddenly lifted his pointer finger up at me, gesturing for me to wait before proceeding to rummage around his room for something.


    Dydan suddenly held up a sign with a written word on it. "Hey." He tilted his head at me shortly after I finished reading.


    I gulped as I reached out for a piece of paper to respond with a sign of my own. "Hi." I nervously bit my lip as it took everything in my body to return his eye contact.


    His sunset eyes eagerly grazed along my sign just to pierce them right back onto me with a enticing glint. "What''s your name?" He asked with yet another piece of paper.


    "Leone!" I silently gasped at the voice of my father booming from downstairs. "Go to the store and get me some food!"


    I brought my attention back at the window and watched his smile falter. "Sorry G2G." I reluctantly wrote as he threw me a gentle and understanding nod.


    I rushed downstairs with a stomach filled with butterflies and a hopeful heart that maybe for once, just this once in my life, I wouldn''t need art to make sense of something in the world, maybe he''ll be the first that will be better of appreciating in my reality.

 S I X

    "Alright, you kids be good!" My dad waved while Ikaris and I stood right beside each other to return his farewell.


    Upon watching him close the door, I immediately left the room and grabbed my skateboard with a deep sigh of relief.


    Ikaris follows right behind me with her hands clasped. "Where do you think you''re going?" She asks in a monotoned voice.


    I threw her a glare before carelessly walking right pass her to leave. "Outside, where else?"


    "Outside better mean just the backyard."


    I let out a sound of distaste while walking over to the backdoor to unlock it. "Can you just leave me alone, please?"


    "Aren''t you tired of breaking the rules?" She sharpens back.


    "Aren''t you tired of following them?" I ask while walking over to the back door to unlock it. "I mean you have to be since you''re so obsessed with everything that I do."


    "I''m obsessed? Weren''t you the one getting ready to jump out the window for someone you don''t even know?" She immediately crosses her arms and continues. "Do I need to remind you that you have a Blood Bond with someone and yet here you are again, getting ready to go o-"


    I immediately swung the door shut to cut off her voice. Nothing went across my mind other than the need to get the hell out of that sad educational prison that I shared with my annoying sister.


    I ran across the backyard until I stood right before the fence that separated me from the outside world. I took a second to look back and that''s when I saw my sister''s face on one of the window''s. It was fixed into an unimpressed expression and I couldn''t help but let out a devilish chuckle as I threw my skateboard onto the other side of the fence and flicked a finger at her before leaving.


    I ran on grass and dirt for the first couple of miles, occasionally looking down at my phone to search for skate parks in the area. There was only one, but apparently, it had been closed down several years ago. I decided to go anyway until the dirt below me transitioned into a concrete sidewalk. I skated along the vast suburbia that gradually turned much more tattered and isolated until my phone loudly chimed to let me know I had finally reached my destination.


    I nervously swallowed and looked around the dreary neighborhood that had withstood all of its beatings obtained from the lack of population. Nature had really taken over the entire area as thick green foliage had overpowered several homes, even bringing some down to their demise. Grass and vines had overgrown past graffiti-covered walls and broken architecture. Fauna had intertwined with vacant civilization, creating a green desolate area filled with nothing but beautiful flowers and large unbridled plants.


    I checked my phone a few times to make sure I was in the right place. It would be quite unfortunate not to be able to even catch a glimpse of the fallen skate park.


    I ventured away from the road while maintaining my attention at the digital map that portrayed me as a blue dot. I continued on towards the large plants and chain link fence until the sound of commotion began to emit from a distance.


    Curiosity encouraged my hands to fight pass all the remaining foliage until I reached a clearing. The sudden sight before me had rooted me at my place with a flickering gaze and a pounding heart.


    My view consisted of a large array of spray painted concrete and graffiti''d ramps. It was enveloped by countless skateboarders that filled the air with the sounds of laughter, tricks being failed and executed, and the never-ending noise of skimming wheels.


    Fuck yeah.


    I ducked down to enter the small crevice that had been cut open on the chainlink fence. I awkwardly looked around at everyone seemingly lost in their own groups and bubbles so I decided to do the same. I skated along pyramids, wave ramps, and a really cool launch ramp I had never tried before.


    It was not until I had skated onto a half pipe is when I saw her fall. Her hair was jet black and visibly silky smooth. It parted down the middle to hug against her naturally freckled cheeks and fierce almond shaped eyes.


    "Hey, are you okay!" I quickly rushed towards her and didn''t hesitate to lend her a hand.


    "You tripped her!" A much tinier voice came running up at us out of nowhere, causing my attention to frantically land on a small child along with another boy and a girl.


    "No I didn''t!" My face began to redden.


    "Yes you did!" The girl on the ground angrily turns back towards me with a hiss.


    My heart fell down to my stomach as I stared at all of them in fear. "What?" I inaudibly let out.


    The girl who tripped suddenly bursts out laughing and uses my extended arm to get herself up. Her laughter was joined in by the others walking towards us.


    "I''m just playing with you." She cracks a devilish smile and suddenly cracks the tension in half.


    "You should''ve seen the look on your face!" A much shorter girl cackled while rushing towards her with a hug barely completing because of her tiny arms.


    I let out a nervous chuckle before turning to face the girl that began to speak. "I''m Miyako, but you can call me Miya." She says while giving the tiny girl a couple pats on the head.


    I observed how closely they resembled each other as I responded. "I''m Dydan."


    She nods and looks down at the tiny child before her. "Well this is my little sister, Hitomi." She suddenly turns to raise a hand towards the other two. "That''s Nikolai and that''s Atalia."


    The first thing I noticed about


    Nikolai was how each of his eyes were a different color. One blue and one green, sitting just above his sharp features and a dirty blonde hair. I was only taller than him a few inches but he was much more bulkier than me. I also noticed how talented he was in acting like I didn''t exist, skimming past my existence by ignoring my nod and eye contact.


    The other girl however; Atalia waved and nonchalantly spoke right after a loud pop of her gum. "What''s up." She wore thick lashes that accentuated her dark brown eyes. Her lips were lined with makeup, creating a beautiful gradient to the pinkish tone of her gloss that complimented her dark glowing skin very well.


    If I were being honest, all these kids seemed pretty intimidating.


    I nervously scratched the back of my neck and gave all of them a shy glance. "So-uh-um, are you okay?" I repeated my concern to Miya.


    "Yea." She quietly laughs at me. "Everybody here falls all the time, except maybe for you though."


    I widened my eyes at her and quickly shook my head to decline. "Oh no trust me, I fall a lot."


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    "Really? I saw you hit a couple axle stalls without even flinching." She tilts her head while looking me up and down. "How long have you been skating?"


    "Pretty much all my life." I answer truthfully.


    "Your board is ugly." Hitomi brutally chirps up at me out of nowhere.


    "Hey stop, that''s not nice." Miya gently shook her as Hitomi pouted. "Don''t mind her, she doesn''t have a filter."


    I couldn''t help but chuckle and nod. "It''s alright, I have a little sister without a filter too." I momentarily looked down and tilted my board. "Besides, she''s not wrong."


    "How did you find this place?" Nikolai abruptly let''s out, causing us to draw all our attention to his deep, husky voice that expressed heavy suspicion.


    I gulped and did a series of cautious blinks before answering. "Well I kinda just searched it up."


    "Searched it up?" His brows furrow tentatively.


    "Yeah." I nod awkwardly at his glare. "I just moved here a couple months ago."


    "Oh nice, where from?" Miya asks while tucking a strand of her hair back.


    "Halyciane." The answer I gave undoubtedly weighed heavily on everyone''s chest, as I was left wondering why.


    "Halyciane? Oh so you''re a rich boy." Atalia blurted out.


    "Well I-I don''t know, I just moved here-" I was quickly interrupted by Nikolai speaking out once more.


    "Gentrification is what closed this park in the first place, to cater to people like you, and now you guys wanna search it up?" His eyes thinned out into a slicing look that was surely unwelcoming. "What a fucking joke." He answers vehemently with a clenched jaw.


    "Hey that''s enough." Miya winced back at her friends while still maintaining a tone of calmness. She turns back to me and does a small smile. "It was cool meeting you Dydan."


    "C-Cool meeting you guys too." I awkwardly dropped my head down and hoped that this entire interaction would just end already.


    I watched them leave as they whispered quiet murmurs to themselves. Any normal person probably wouldn''t be able to hear what they were saying, but I could.


    I have the ability to hear everything.


    After that exchange, as well as processing what they were all whispering about, I think it was safe to say that Nikolai definitely doesn''t like me, Hitomi thinks my board is ugly, Atalia thinks I''m weird, and Miya thinks I''m cute.


    Wait, she thought I was cute!?


    Well, shoot, I mean, I think she''s pretty cute as well. It just doesn''t help that all her friends, including her little sister, seem to hate me. What the heck does gentrification even mean?


    I spent the rest of the day skateboarding until I was drenched in sweat, timing everything just right so I could return home without getting in trouble with my parents. Having arrived just in time before dinner, I quickly grabbed a shower and rushed up to my room to protect myself from another one of Ikari''s lectures and hopefully get a chance to see Leone.


    I gradually leaned further out of my open window while patiently tapping my foot on the floor in anticipation.


    I occasionally distracted myself from the wait by tracing the crescent moon with my fingers, admiring the several constellations coming into view, and counting the endless pool of starlight that was just as breathtaking as he was.


    I waited for him for hours.


    I wondered where he could be.


    I wondered what he''s doing.


    Could he be back at that cliff?


    I closed my eyes tightly, honing in on all my senses, hoping to gain some sort of insight into his whereabouts using my abilities.


    In the house, I didn''t hear him at all, only his dad watching TV and drunkenly crying about something I couldn''t transcribe due to his slurring. Even though I was able to smell him, the scent was extremely faint, enough to make me question whether I was actually smelling him or not, just until it began to grow stronger.


    Without any careful thought, just as I was preparing to lunge out of my window to drop down on the ground to look for him, there he was.


    He was hissing, dragging his right leg on the ground as it hurt to watch his tiny frame struggle to hobble up his porch. My heart dropped once I saw his face. It was much worse than last night. Although he had a band-aid on top of his nose, it wasn''t enough to cover the scar on his brow and lip.


    "Where were you!?" He was immediately greeted by a roar from his dad the second he entered his house.


    "I was-argh!" His voice cracked out as the sound of him being shoved into a wall suddenly succumbed me into anger. "I-I tried to make it home on time but they-" His words bursted into a struggled yelp as if he had just been punched hard in his stomach.


    The smell of his blood got stronger, emitting from either a wound being given or reopened which immediately caused me to lunge out from my window to meet the ground in heaving breaths.


    "They!? Who''s they!?" His father roared and followed it up with another sound of a smack. "You always shift blame on everybody else besides you, you''re just like your mother!"


    My heart began to pound as fiery roots began to branch uncontrollable aches all throughout my body, enough to make me drop down on my knees with balled up fists.


    "Please father, you have to believe me." He sobbed in pain, only to be met once again with another punch that caused him to uncontrollably explode into a haunting scream that coalesced with a cry.


    My muscles coiled and tightened as I unsheathed by fangs with a groan. The only thing clouding over my senses now was the need to protect what was mine, which was his blood.


    His blood is mine and mine is his.


    Without any sense of control and  consideration for my surroundings, I quickly took off from the ground and bursted through the thick wooden fence that separated my house from theirs.


    "You''ll learn when to-" The dad abruptly stops as the loud sound of cracked wood emitted up into the air. "What the hell was that? Stay here and don''t move!"


    My chest heaved as I got into position to prepare and kill the waste of a man, my claws and fangs prepped into a sterling sheen of blades that were fueled by absolute blood-thirst.


    "Now what the hell is going on out here!?" Just before I could''ve jumped at the man once he got out to face me, an impactful mass of volatile strength immediately tackled me to the side until our bodies hid beneath a thick overgrown bush.


    My mouth was immediately covered in silence as a pair of similar glowing eyes met mine in burning fury. I thrashed and fought with hisses and snarls as the man looked around his backyard.


    "What the!? What kind of animal did this?" The man exclaimed while stomping back inside the house.


    "W-What happened father?" The boy''s question is quickly overpowered by an angrier yell.


    "Get out of my face!" The man roars. "There is no dinner for you tonight! You let out another word I''ll meet you with the belt until you pass out, now go to your room!"


    A faint whimper and cry could be heard as the boy scampered up the stairs.


    Before I could throw off the body that weighed me down, my mouth was abruptly met with a pouch that effortlessly cut through my fangs. The taste of blood quickly took me out of my bloodthirsty state, the rich vital fluid calming my entire body down.


    "I''m telling mom and dad." Ikaris'' sharpened out with a tone tainted with pure disdain.


    My eyes immediately widened as I got up to follow right after her. "W-Wait Ikaris no!"


    "Shh!" She silenced me with a pointer finger against her mouth.


    "Ikaris-"


    "Shut up, or the man will hear us!" She warns while tip-toeing past the thick pieces of wood that were messily splayed all over the neighbor''s lawn.


    "Please just-I can fix this!" I whispered as we eventually passed by the cratered fence to head back into our own backyard. "You can''t tell them!"


    Ikaris immediately turns to me with anger I had only ever witnessed from my mom. "Enough!" Her hands momentarily rise beside her tilted head, practically fuming. "I''m letting them both know, once they get home!"


    "Can you just hear me out!? I''m sorry, Ikaris." I pleaded while letting out a series of blinks, feeling nothing but pure guilt inside. "Whatever you do, they can''t know-you can''t tell them!"


    "Try me." Ikaris continued her stride back into the house.


    "Y-You know what, you''re right, I don''t know him!" I frantically blurted out, causing her to suddenly freeze just in front of the door. "But what I do know is that no one deserves to have to go through that much pain. He goes through so..much..pain."


    "Dydan-" I quickly interrupted her voice.


    "I-I can''t help but feel the need to help him-to protect him from all the pain and make sure that he feels it no longer!" My voice cracked as my eyes passionately pierced right into hers with a reddened tint. "M-Maybe it''s because of the Blood Bond but I don''t care, nobody deserves to go through what he''s going through!"


    She reluctantly turned back towards me with a deep inhale. "So what are you gonna do about it?"


    I sniffed and threw my attention to the side with a clenched jaw. "I promise I''ll deal with it, just please don''t tell mom and dad."


    Her chest visibly rises and falls with a deep breath. "This is your final chance to get yourself together, for the sake of our family."